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[ "\nThis to Jonathan Harker.", "You are to stay with your dear Madam Mina.", "We shall go to make our\nsearch--if I can call it so, for it is not search but knowing, and we\nseek confirmation only.", "But do you stay and take care of her to-day.", "This is your best and most holiest office.", "This day nothing can find him\nhere.", "Let me tell you that so you will know what we four know already,\nfor I have tell them.", "He, our enemy, have gone away; he have gone back\nto his Castle in Transylvania.", "I know it so well, as if a great hand of\nfire wrote it on the wall.", "He have prepare for this in some way, and\nthat last earth-box was ready to ship somewheres.", "For this he took the\nmoney; for this he hurry at the last, lest we catch him before the sun\ngo down.", "It was his last hope, save that he might hide in the tomb that\nhe think poor Miss Lucy, being as he thought like him, keep open to him.", "But there was not of time.", "When that fail he make straight for his last\nresource--his last earth-work I might say did I wish _double entente_.", "He is clever, oh, so clever!", "he know that his game here was finish; and\nso he decide he go back home.", "He find ship going by the route he came,\nand he go in it.", "We go off now to find what ship, and whither bound;\nwhen we have discover that, we come back and tell you all.", "Then we will\ncomfort you and poor dear Madam Mina with new hope.", "For it will be hope\nwhen you think it over: that all is not lost.", "This very creature that we\npursue, he take hundreds of years to get so far as London; and yet in\none day, when we know of the disposal of him we drive him out.", "He is\nfinite, though he is powerful to do much harm and suffers not as we do.", "But we are strong, each in our purpose; and we are all more strong\ntogether.", "Take heart afresh, dear husband of Madam Mina.", "This battle is\nbut begun, and in the end we shall win--so sure as that God sits on high\nto watch over His children.", "Therefore be of much comfort till we return.", "VAN HELSING.", "_Jonathan Harker's Journal._\n\n_4 October._--When I read to Mina, Van Helsing's message in the\nphonograph, the poor girl brightened up considerably.", "Already the\ncertainty that the Count is out of the country has given her comfort;\nand comfort is strength to her.", "For my own part, now that his horrible\ndanger is not face to face with us, it seems almost impossible to\nbelieve in it.", "Even my own terrible experiences in Castle Dracula seem\nlike a long-forgotten dream.", "Here in the crisp autumn air in the bright\nsunlight----\n\nAlas!", "how can I disbelieve!", "In the midst of my thought my eye fell on\nthe red scar on my poor darling's white forehead.", "Whilst that lasts,\nthere can be no disbelief.", "And afterwards the very memory of it will\nkeep faith crystal clear.", "Mina and I fear to be idle, so we have been\nover all the diaries again and again.", "Somehow, although the reality\nseems greater each time, the pain and the fear seem less.", "There is\nsomething of a guiding purpose manifest throughout, which is comforting.", "Mina says that perhaps we are the instruments of ultimate good.", "It may\nbe!", "I shall try to think as she does.", "We have never spoken to each other\nyet of the future.", "It is better to wait till we see the Professor and\nthe others after their investigations.", "The day is running by more quickly than I ever thought a day could run\nfor me again.", "It is now three o'clock.", "_Mina Harker's Journal._\n\n_5 October, 5 p. m._--Our meeting for report.", "Present: Professor Van\nHelsing, Lord Godalming, Dr. Seward, Mr. Quincey Morris, Jonathan\nHarker, Mina Harker.", "Dr. Van Helsing described what steps were taken during the day to\ndiscover on what boat and whither bound Count Dracula made his escape:--\n\n\"As I knew that he wanted to get back to Transylvania, I felt sure that\nhe must go by the Danube mouth; or by somewhere in the Black Sea, since\nby that way he come.", "It was a dreary blank that was before us.", "_Omne\nignotum pro magnifico_; and so with heavy hearts we start to find what\nships leave for the Black Sea last night.", "He was in sailing ship, since\nMadam Mina tell of sails being set.", "These not so important as to go in\nyour list of the shipping in the _Times_, and so we go, by suggestion of\nLord Godalming, to your Lloyd's, where are note of all ships that sail,\nhowever so small.", "There we find that only one Black-Sea-bound ship go\nout with the tide.", "She is the _Czarina Catherine_, and she sail from\nDoolittle's Wharf for Varna, and thence on to other parts and up the\nDanube.", "'Soh!'", "said I, 'this is the ship whereon is the Count.'", "So off\nwe go to Doolittle's Wharf, and there we find a man in an office of wood\nso small that the man look bigger than the office.", "From him we inquire\nof the goings of the _Czarina Catherine_.", "He swear much, and he red face\nand loud of voice, but he good fellow all the same; and when Quincey\ngive him something from his pocket which crackle as he roll it up, and\nput it in a so small bag which he have hid deep in his clothing, he\nstill better fellow and humble servant to us.", "He come with us, and ask\nmany men who are rough and hot; these be better fellows too when they\nhave been no more thirsty.", "They say much of blood and bloom, and of\nothers which I comprehend not, though I guess what they mean; but\nnevertheless they tell us all things which we want to know.", "\"They make known to us among them, how last afternoon at about five\no'clock comes a man so hurry.", "A tall man, thin and pale, with high nose\nand teeth so white, and eyes that seem to be burning.", "That he be all in\nblack, except that he have a hat of straw which suit not him or the\ntime.", "That he scatter his money in making quick inquiry as to what ship\nsails for the Black Sea and for where.", "Some took him to the office and\nthen to the ship, where he will not go aboard but halt at shore end of\ngang-plank, and ask that the captain come to him.", "The captain come, when\ntold that he will be pay well; and though he swear much at the first he\nagree to term.", "Then the thin man go and some one tell him where horse\nand cart can be hired.", "He go there and soon he come again, himself\ndriving cart on which a great box; this he himself lift down, though it\ntake several to put it on truck for the ship.", "He give much talk to\ncaptain as to how and where his box is to be place; but the captain like\nit not and swear at him in many tongues, and tell him that if he like he\ncan come and see where it shall be.", "But he say 'no'; that he come not\nyet, for that he have much to do.", "Whereupon the captain tell him that he\nhad better be quick--with blood--for that his ship will leave the\nplace--of blood--before the turn of the tide--with blood.", "Then the thin\nman smile and say that of course he must go when he think fit; but he\nwill be surprise if he go quite so soon.", "The captain swear again,\npolyglot, and the thin man make him bow, and thank him, and say that he\nwill so far intrude on his kindness as to come aboard before the\nsailing.", "Final the captain, more red than ever, and in more tongues tell\nhim that he doesn't want no Frenchmen--with bloom upon them and also\nwith blood--in his ship--with blood on her also.", "And so, after asking\nwhere there might be close at hand a ship where he might purchase ship\nforms, he departed.", "\"No one knew where he went 'or bloomin' well cared,' as they said, for\nthey had something else to think of--well with blood again; for it soon\nbecame apparent to all that the _Czarina Catherine_ would not sail as\nwas expected.", "A thin mist began to creep up from the river, and it grew,\nand grew; till soon a dense fog enveloped the ship and all around her.", "The captain swore polyglot--very polyglot--polyglot with bloom and\nblood; but he could do nothing.", "The water rose and rose; and he began to\nfear that he would lose the tide altogether.", "He was in no friendly mood,\nwhen just at full tide, the thin man came up the gang-plank again and\nasked to see where his box had been stowed.", "Then the captain replied\nthat he wished that he and his box--old and with much bloom and\nblood--were in hell.", "But the thin man did not be offend, and went down\nwith the mate and saw where it was place, and came up and stood awhile\non deck in fog.", "He must have come off by himself, for none notice him.", "Indeed they thought not of him; for soon the fog begin to melt away, and\nall was clear again.", "My friends of the thirst and the language that was\nof bloom and blood laughed, as they told how the captain's swears\nexceeded even his usual polyglot, and was more than ever full of\npicturesque, when on questioning other mariners who were on movement up\nand down on the river that hour, he found that few of them had seen any\nof fog at all, except where it lay round the wharf.", "However, the ship\nwent out on the ebb tide; and was doubtless by morning far down the\nriver mouth.", "She was by then, when they told us, well out to sea.", "\"And so, my dear Madam Mina, it is that we have to rest for a time, for\nour enemy is on the sea, with the fog at his command, on his way to the\nDanube mouth.", "To sail a ship takes time, go she never so quick; and when\nwe start we go on land more quick, and we meet him there.", "Our best hope\nis to come on him when in the box between sunrise and sunset; for then\nhe can make no struggle, and we may deal with him as we should.", "There\nare days for us, in which we can make ready our plan.", "We know all about\nwhere he go; for we have seen the owner of the ship, who have shown us\ninvoices and all papers that can be.", "The box we seek is to be landed in\nVarna, and to be given to an agent, one Ristics who will there present\nhis credentials; and so our merchant friend will have done his part.", "When he ask if there be any wrong, for that so, he can telegraph and\nhave inquiry made at Varna, we say 'no'; for what is to be done is not\nfor police or of the customs.", "It must be done by us alone and in our own\nway.\"", "When Dr. Van Helsing had done speaking, I asked him if he were certain\nthat the Count had remained on board the ship.", "He replied: \"We have the\nbest proof of that: your own evidence, when in the hypnotic trance this\nmorning.\"", "I asked him again if it were really necessary that they should\npursue the Count, for oh!", "I dread Jonathan leaving me, and I know that\nhe would surely go if the others went.", "He answered in growing passion,\nat first quietly.", "As he went on, however, he grew more angry and more\nforceful, till in the end we could not but see wherein was at least some\nof that personal dominance which made him so long a master amongst\nmen:--\n\n\"Yes, it is necessary--necessary--necessary!", "For your sake in the first,\nand then for the sake of humanity.", "This monster has done much harm\nalready, in the narrow scope where he find himself, and in the short\ntime when as yet he was only as a body groping his so small measure in\ndarkness and not knowing.", "All this have I told these others; you, my\ndear Madam Mina, will learn it in the phonograph of my friend John, or\nin that of your husband.", "I have told them how the measure of leaving his\nown barren land--barren of peoples--and coming to a new land where life\nof man teems till they are like the multitude of standing corn, was the\nwork of centuries.", "Were another of the Un-Dead, like him, to try to do\nwhat he has done, perhaps not all the centuries of the world that have\nbeen, or that will be, could aid him.", "With this one, all the forces of\nnature that are occult and deep and strong must have worked together in\nsome wondrous way.", "The very place, where he have been alive, Un-Dead for\nall these centuries, is full of strangeness of the geologic and chemical\nworld.", "There are deep caverns and fissures that reach none know whither.", "There have been volcanoes, some of whose openings still send out waters\nof strange properties, and gases that kill or make to vivify.", "Doubtless,\nthere is something magnetic or electric in some of these combinations of\noccult forces which work for physical life in strange way; and in\nhimself were from the first some great qualities.", "In a hard and warlike\ntime he was celebrate that he have more iron nerve, more subtle brain,\nmore braver heart, than any man.", "In him some vital principle have in\nstrange way found their utmost; and as his body keep strong and grow and\nthrive, so his brain grow too.", "All this without that diabolic aid which\nis surely to him; for it have to yield to the powers that come from,\nand are, symbolic of good.", "And now this is what he is to us.", "He have\ninfect you--oh, forgive me, my dear, that I must say such; but it is for\ngood of you that I speak.", "He infect you in such wise, that even if he do\nno more, you have only to live--to live in your own old, sweet way; and\nso in time, death, which is of man's common lot and with God's sanction,\nshall make you like to him.", "This must not be!", "We have sworn together\nthat it must not.", "Thus are we ministers of God's own wish: that the\nworld, and men for whom His Son die, will not be given over to monsters,\nwhose very existence would defame Him.", "He have allowed us to redeem one\nsoul already, and we go out as the old knights of the Cross to redeem\nmore.", "Like them we shall travel towards the sunrise; and like them, if\nwe fall, we fall in good cause.\"", "He paused and I said:--\n\n\"But will not the Count take his rebuff wisely?", "Since he has been driven\nfrom England, will he not avoid it, as a tiger does the village from\nwhich he has been hunted?\"", "\"Aha!\"", "he said, \"your simile of the tiger good, for me, and I shall\nadopt him.", "Your man-eater, as they of India call the tiger who has once\ntasted blood of the human, care no more for the other prey, but prowl\nunceasing till he get him.", "This that we hunt from our village is a\ntiger, too, a man-eater, and he never cease to prowl.", "Nay, in himself he\nis not one to retire and stay afar.", "In his life, his living life, he go\nover the Turkey frontier and attack his enemy on his own ground; he be\nbeaten back, but did he stay?", "No!", "He come again, and again, and again.", "Look at his persistence and endurance.", "With the child-brain that was to\nhim he have long since conceive the idea of coming to a great city.", "What\ndoes he do?", "He find out the place of all the world most of promise for\nhim.", "Then he deliberately set himself down to prepare for the task.", "He\nfind in patience just how is his strength, and what are his powers.", "He\nstudy new tongues.", "He learn new social life; new environment of old\nways, the politic, the law, the finance, the science, the habit of a new\nland and a new people who have come to be since he was.", "His glimpse that\nhe have had, whet his appetite only and enkeen his desire.", "Nay, it help\nhim to grow as to his brain; for it all prove to him how right he was at\nthe first in his surmises.", "He have done this alone; all alone!", "from a\nruin tomb in a forgotten land.", "What more may he not do when the greater\nworld of thought is open to him.", "He that can smile at death, as we know\nhim; who can flourish in the midst of diseases that kill off whole\npeoples.", "Oh, if such an one was to come from God, and not the Devil,\nwhat a force for good might he not be in this old world of ours.", "But we\nare pledged to set the world free.", "Our toil must be in silence, and our\nefforts all in secret; for in this enlightened age, when men believe not\neven what they see, the doubting of wise men would be his greatest\nstrength.", "It would be at once his sheath and his armour, and his weapons\nto destroy us, his enemies, who are willing to peril even our own souls\nfor the safety of one we love--for the good of mankind, and for the\nhonour and glory of God.\"", "After a general discussion it was determined that for to-night nothing\nbe definitely settled; that we should all sleep on the facts, and try to\nthink out the proper conclusions.", "To-morrow, at breakfast, we are to\nmeet again, and, after making our conclusions known to one another, we\nshall decide on some definite cause of action.", "* * * * *\n\nI feel a wonderful peace and rest to-night.", "It is as if some haunting\npresence were removed from me.", "Perhaps ...\n\nMy surmise was not finished, could not be; for I caught sight in the\nmirror of the red mark upon my forehead; and I knew that I was still\nunclean.", "_Dr.", "Seward's Diary._\n\n_5 October._--We all rose early, and I think that sleep did much for\neach and all of us.", "When we met at early breakfast there was more\ngeneral cheerfulness than any of us had ever expected to experience\nagain.", "It is really wonderful how much resilience there is in human nature.", "Let\nany obstructing cause, no matter what, be removed in any way--even by\ndeath--and we fly back to first principles of hope and enjoyment.", "More\nthan once as we sat around the table, my eyes opened in wonder whether\nthe whole of the past days had not been a dream.", "It was only when I\ncaught sight of the red blotch on Mrs. Harker's forehead that I was\nbrought back to reality.", "Even now, when I am gravely revolving the\nmatter, it is almost impossible to realise that the cause of all our\ntrouble is still existent.", "Even Mrs. Harker seems to lose sight of her\ntrouble for whole spells; it is only now and again, when something\nrecalls it to her mind, that she thinks of her terrible scar.", "We are to\nmeet here in my study in half an hour and decide on our course of\naction.", "I see only one immediate difficulty, I know it by instinct\nrather than reason: we shall all have to speak frankly; and yet I fear\nthat in some mysterious way poor Mrs. Harker's tongue is tied.", "I _know_\nthat she forms conclusions of her own, and from all that has been I can\nguess how brilliant and how true they must be; but she will not, or\ncannot, give them utterance.", "I have mentioned this to Van Helsing, and\nhe and I are to talk it over when we are alone.", "I suppose it is some of\nthat horrid poison which has got into her veins beginning to work.", "The\nCount had his own purposes when he gave her what Van Helsing called \"the\nVampire's baptism of blood.\"", "Well, there may be a poison that distils\nitself out of good things; in an age when the existence of ptomaines is\na mystery we should not wonder at anything!", "One thing I know: that if my\ninstinct be true regarding poor Mrs. Harker's silences, then there is a\nterrible difficulty--an unknown danger--in the work before us.", "The same\npower that compels her silence may compel her speech.", "I dare not think\nfurther; for so I should in my thoughts dishonour a noble woman!", "Van Helsing is coming to my study a little before the others.", "I shall\ntry to open the subject with him.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--When the Professor came in, we talked over the state of\nthings.", "I could see that he had something on his mind which he wanted to\nsay, but felt some hesitancy about broaching the subject.", "After beating\nabout the bush a little, he said suddenly:--\n\n\"Friend John, there is something that you and I must talk of alone, just\nat the first at any rate.", "Later, we may have to take the others into our\nconfidence\"; then he stopped, so I waited; he went on:--\n\n\"Madam Mina, our poor, dear Madam Mina is changing.\"", "A cold shiver ran\nthrough me to find my worst fears thus endorsed.", "Van Helsing\ncontinued:--\n\n\"With the sad experience of Miss Lucy, we must this time be warned\nbefore things go too far.", "Our task is now in reality more difficult than\never, and this new trouble makes every hour of the direst importance.", "I\ncan see the characteristics of the vampire coming in her face.", "It is now\nbut very, very slight; but it is to be seen if we have eyes to notice\nwithout to prejudge.", "Her teeth are some sharper, and at times her eyes\nare more hard.", "But these are not all, there is to her the silence now\noften; as so it was with Miss Lucy.", "She did not speak, even when she\nwrote that which she wished to be known later.", "Now my fear is this.", "If\nit be that she can, by our hypnotic trance, tell what the Count see and\nhear, is it not more true that he who have hypnotise her first, and who\nhave drink of her very blood and make her drink of his, should, if he\nwill, compel her mind to disclose to him that which she know?\"", "I nodded\nacquiescence; he went on:--\n\n\"Then, what we must do is to prevent this; we must keep her ignorant of\nour intent, and so she cannot tell what she know not.", "This is a painful\ntask!", "Oh, so painful that it heart-break me to think of; but it must be.", "When to-day we meet, I must tell her that for reason which we will not\nto speak she must not more be of our council, but be simply guarded by\nus.\"", "He wiped his forehead, which had broken out in profuse perspiration\nat the thought of the pain which he might have to inflict upon the poor\nsoul already so tortured.", "I knew that it would be some sort of comfort\nto him if I told him that I also had come to the same conclusion; for at\nany rate it would take away the pain of doubt.", "I told him, and the\neffect was as I expected.", "It is now close to the time of our general gathering.", "Van Helsing has\ngone away to prepare for the meeting, and his painful part of it.", "I\nreally believe his purpose is to be able to pray alone.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--At the very outset of our meeting a great personal relief was\nexperienced by both Van Helsing and myself.", "Mrs. Harker had sent a\nmessage by her husband to say that she would not join us at present, as\nshe thought it better that we should be free to discuss our movements\nwithout her presence to embarrass us.", "The Professor and I looked at each\nother for an instant, and somehow we both seemed relieved.", "For my own\npart, I thought that if Mrs. Harker realised the danger herself, it was\nmuch pain as well as much danger averted.", "Under the circumstances we\nagreed, by a questioning look and answer, with finger on lip, to\npreserve silence in our suspicions, until we should have been able to\nconfer alone again.", "We went at once into our Plan of Campaign.", "Van\nHelsing roughly put the facts before us first:--\n\n\"The _Czarina Catherine_ left the Thames yesterday morning.", "It will take\nher at the quickest speed she has ever made at least three weeks to\nreach Varna; but we can travel overland to the same place in three days.", "Now, if we allow for two days less for the ship's voyage, owing to such\nweather influences as we know that the Count can bring to bear; and if\nwe allow a whole day and night for any delays which may occur to us,\nthen we have a margin of nearly two weeks.", "Thus, in order to be quite\nsafe, we must leave here on 17th at latest.", "Then we shall at any rate\nbe in Varna a day before the ship arrives, and able to make such\npreparations as may be necessary.", "Of course we shall all go armed--armed\nagainst evil things, spiritual as well as physical.\"", "Here Quincey Morris\nadded:--\n\n\"I understand that the Count comes from a wolf country, and it may be\nthat he shall get there before us.", "I propose that we add Winchesters to\nour armament.", "I have a kind of belief in a Winchester when there is any\ntrouble of that sort around.", "Do you remember, Art, when we had the pack\nafter us at Tobolsk?", "What wouldn't we have given then for a repeater\napiece!\"", "\"Good!\"", "said Van Helsing, \"Winchesters it shall be.", "Quincey's head is\nlevel at all times, but most so when there is to hunt, metaphor be more\ndishonour to science than wolves be of danger to man.", "In the meantime we\ncan do nothing here; and as I think that Varna is not familiar to any of\nus, why not go there more soon?", "It is as long to wait here as there.", "To-night and to-morrow we can get ready, and then, if all be well, we\nfour can set out on our journey.\"", "\"We four?\"", "said Harker interrogatively, looking from one to another of\nus.", "\"Of course!\"", "answered the Professor quickly, \"you must remain to take\ncare of your so sweet wife!\"", "Harker was silent for awhile and then said\nin a hollow voice:--\n\n\"Let us talk of that part of it in the morning.", "I want to consult with\nMina.\"", "I thought that now was the time for Van Helsing to warn him not\nto disclose our plans to her; but he took no notice.", "I looked at him\nsignificantly and coughed.", "For answer he put his finger on his lips and\nturned away.", "_Jonathan Harker's Journal._\n\n_5 October, afternoon._--For some time after our meeting this morning I\ncould not think.", "The new phases of things leave my mind in a state of\nwonder which allows no room for active thought.", "Mina's determination not\nto take any part in the discussion set me thinking; and as I could not\nargue the matter with her, I could only guess.", "I am as far as ever from\na solution now.", "The way the others received it, too, puzzled me; the\nlast time we talked of the subject we agreed that there was to be no\nmore concealment of anything amongst us.", "Mina is sleeping now, calmly\nand sweetly like a little child.", "Her lips are curved and her face beams\nwith happiness.", "Thank God, there are such moments still for her.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--How strange it all is.", "I sat watching Mina's happy sleep, and\ncame as near to being happy myself as I suppose I shall ever be.", "As the\nevening drew on, and the earth took its shadows from the sun sinking\nlower, the silence of the room grew more and more solemn to me.", "All at\nonce Mina opened her eyes, and looking at me tenderly, said:--\n\n\"Jonathan, I want you to promise me something on your word of honour.", "A\npromise made to me, but made holily in God's hearing, and not to be\nbroken though I should go down on my knees and implore you with bitter\ntears.", "Quick, you must make it to me at once.\"", "\"Mina,\" I said, \"a promise like that, I cannot make at once.", "I may have\nno right to make it.\"", "\"But, dear one,\" she said, with such spiritual intensity that her eyes\nwere like pole stars, \"it is I who wish it; and it is not for myself.", "You can ask Dr. Van Helsing if I am not right; if he disagrees you may\ndo as you will.", "Nay, more, if you all agree, later, you are absolved\nfrom the promise.\"", "\"I promise!\"", "I said, and for a moment she looked supremely happy; though\nto me all happiness for her was denied by the red scar on her forehead.", "She said:--\n\n\"Promise me that you will not tell me anything of the plans formed for\nthe campaign against the Count.", "Not by word, or inference, or\nimplication; not at any time whilst this remains to me!\"", "and she\nsolemnly pointed to the scar.", "I saw that she was in earnest, and said\nsolemnly:--\n\n\"I promise!\"", "and as I said it I felt that from that instant a door had\nbeen shut between us.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later, midnight._--Mina has been bright and cheerful all the evening.", "So much so that all the rest seemed to take courage, as if infected\nsomewhat with her gaiety; as a result even I myself felt as if the pall\nof gloom which weighs us down were somewhat lifted.", "We all retired\nearly.", "Mina is now sleeping like a little child; it is a wonderful thing\nthat her faculty of sleep remains to her in the midst of her terrible\ntrouble.", "Thank God for it, for then at least she can forget her care.", "Perhaps her example may affect me as her gaiety did to-night.", "I shall\ntry it.", "Oh!", "for a dreamless sleep.", "* * * * *\n\n_6 October, morning._--Another surprise.", "Mina woke me early, about the\nsame time as yesterday, and asked me to bring Dr. Van Helsing.", "I thought\nthat it was another occasion for hypnotism, and without question went\nfor the Professor.", "He had evidently expected some such call, for I found\nhim dressed in his room.", "His door was ajar, so that he could hear the\nopening of the door of our room.", "He came at once; as he passed into the\nroom, he asked Mina if the others might come, too.", "\"No,\" she said quite simply, \"it will not be necessary.", "You can tell\nthem just as well.", "I must go with you on your journey.\"", "Dr. Van Helsing was as startled as I was.", "After a moment's pause he\nasked:--\n\n\"But why?\"", "\"You must take me with you.", "I am safer with you, and you shall be safer,\ntoo.\"", "\"But why, dear Madam Mina?", "You know that your safety is our solemnest\nduty.", "We go into danger, to which you are, or may be, more liable than\nany of us from--from circumstances--things that have been.\"", "He paused,\nembarrassed.", "As she replied, she raised her finger and pointed to her forehead:--\n\n\"I know.", "That is why I must go.", "I can tell you now, whilst the sun is\ncoming up; I may not be able again.", "I know that when the Count wills me\nI must go.", "I know that if he tells me to come in secret, I must come by\nwile; by any device to hoodwink--even Jonathan.\"", "God saw the look that\nshe turned on me as she spoke, and if there be indeed a Recording Angel\nthat look is noted to her everlasting honour.", "I could only clasp her\nhand.", "I could not speak; my emotion was too great for even the relief of\ntears.", "She went on:--\n\n\"You men are brave and strong.", "You are strong in your numbers, for you\ncan defy that which would break down the human endurance of one who had\nto guard alone.", "Besides, I may be of service, since you can hypnotise me\nand so learn that which even I myself do not know.\"", "Dr. Van Helsing said\nvery gravely:--\n\n\"Madam Mina, you are, as always, most wise.", "You shall with us come; and\ntogether we shall do that which we go forth to achieve.\"", "When he had\nspoken, Mina's long spell of silence made me look at her.", "She had fallen\nback on her pillow asleep; she did not even wake when I had pulled up\nthe blind and let in the sunlight which flooded the room.", "Van Helsing\nmotioned to me to come with him quietly.", "We went to his room, and within\na minute Lord Godalming, Dr. Seward, and Mr. Morris were with us also.", "He told them what Mina had said, and went on:--\n\n\"In the morning we shall leave for Varna.", "We have now to deal with a\nnew factor: Madam Mina.", "Oh, but her soul is true.", "It is to her an agony\nto tell us so much as she has done; but it is most right, and we are\nwarned in time.", "There must be no chance lost, and in Varna we must be\nready to act the instant when that ship arrives.\"", "\"What shall we do exactly?\"", "asked Mr. Morris laconically.", "The Professor\npaused before replying:--\n\n\"We shall at the first board that ship; then, when we have identified\nthe box, we shall place a branch of the wild rose on it.", "This we shall\nfasten, for when it is there none can emerge; so at least says the\nsuperstition.", "And to superstition must we trust at the first; it was\nman's faith in the early, and it have its root in faith still.", "Then,\nwhen we get the opportunity that we seek, when none are near to see, we\nshall open the box, and--and all will be well.\"", "\"I shall not wait for any opportunity,\" said Morris.", "\"When I see the box\nI shall open it and destroy the monster, though there were a thousand\nmen looking on, and if I am to be wiped out for it the next moment!\"", "I\ngrasped his hand instinctively and found it as firm as a piece of steel.", "I think he understood my look; I hope he did.", "\"Good boy,\" said Dr. Van Helsing.", "\"Brave boy.", "Quincey is all man.", "God\nbless him for it.", "My child, believe me none of us shall lag behind or\npause from any fear.", "I do but say what we may do--what we must do.", "But,\nindeed, indeed we cannot say what we shall do.", "There are so many things\nwhich may happen, and their ways and their ends are so various that\nuntil the moment we may not say.", "We shall all be armed, in all ways; and\nwhen the time for the end has come, our effort shall not be lack.", "Now\nlet us to-day put all our affairs in order.", "Let all things which touch\non others dear to us, and who on us depend, be complete; for none of us\ncan tell what, or when, or how, the end may be.", "As for me, my own\naffairs are regulate; and as I have nothing else to do, I shall go make\narrangements for the travel.", "I shall have all tickets and so forth for\nour journey.\"", "There was nothing further to be said, and we parted.", "I shall now settle\nup all my affairs of earth, and be ready for whatever may come....\n\n * * * * *\n\n_Later._--It is all done; my will is made, and all complete.", "Mina if she\nsurvive is my sole heir.", "If it should not be so, then the others who\nhave been so good to us shall have remainder.", "It is now drawing towards the sunset; Mina's uneasiness calls my\nattention to it.", "I am sure that there is something on her mind which the\ntime of exact sunset will reveal.", "These occasions are becoming harrowing\ntimes for us all, for each sunrise and sunset opens up some new\ndanger--some new pain, which, however, may in God's will be means to a\ngood end.", "I write all these things in the diary since my darling must\nnot hear them now; but if it may be that she can see them again, they\nshall be ready.", "She is calling to me." ]

[ "In the midst of my thought my eye fell on\nthe red scar on my poor darling's white forehead.", "Somehow, although the reality\nseems greater each time, the pain and the fear seem less.", "The day is running by more quickly than I ever thought a day could run\nfor me again.", "\"They make known to us among them, how last afternoon at about five\no'clock comes a man so hurry.", "He go there and soon he come again, himself\ndriving cart on which a great box; this he himself lift down, though it\ntake several to put it on truck for the ship.", "She was by then, when they told us, well out to sea.", "It was only when I\ncaught sight of the red blotch on Mrs. Harker's forehead that I was\nbrought back to reality.", "I shall\ntry to open the subject with him.", "\"Of course!\"", "I thought that now was the time for Van Helsing to warn him not\nto disclose our plans to her; but he took no notice." ]

[ "Now, if we allow for two days less for the ship's voyage, owing to such\nweather influences as we know that the Count can bring to bear; and if\nwe allow a whole day and night for any delays which may occur to us,\nthen we have a margin of nearly two weeks.", "A\npromise made to me, but made holily in God's hearing, and not to be\nbroken though I should go down on my knees and implore you with bitter\ntears.", "Besides, I may be of service, since you can hypnotise me\nand so learn that which even I myself do not know.\"", "\"You must take me with you.", "Since he has been driven\nfrom England, will he not avoid it, as a tiger does the village from\nwhich he has been hunted?\"", "However, the ship\nwent out on the ebb tide; and was doubtless by morning far down the\nriver mouth.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later, midnight._--Mina has been bright and cheerful all the evening.", "I know that if he tells me to come in secret, I must come by\nwile; by any device to hoodwink--even Jonathan.\"", "_Omne\nignotum pro magnifico_; and so with heavy hearts we start to find what\nships leave for the Black Sea last night.", "I told him, and the\neffect was as I expected." ]

[ "Even Mrs. Harker seems to lose sight of her\ntrouble for whole spells; it is only now and again, when something\nrecalls it to her mind, that she thinks of her terrible scar.", "We are to\nmeet here in my study in half an hour and decide on our course of\naction.", "I see only one immediate difficulty, I know it by instinct\nrather than reason: we shall all have to speak frankly; and yet I fear\nthat in some mysterious way poor Mrs. Harker's tongue is tied.", "I _know_\nthat she forms conclusions of her own, and from all that has been I can\nguess how brilliant and how true they must be; but she will not, or\ncannot, give them utterance.", "I have mentioned this to Van Helsing, and\nhe and I are to talk it over when we are alone.", "I suppose it is some of\nthat horrid poison which has got into her veins beginning to work.", "The\nCount had his own purposes when he gave her what Van Helsing called \"the\nVampire's baptism of blood.\"", "Well, there may be a poison that distils\nitself out of good things; in an age when the existence of ptomaines is\na mystery we should not wonder at anything!", "One thing I know: that if my\ninstinct be true regarding poor Mrs. Harker's silences, then there is a\nterrible difficulty--an unknown danger--in the work before us.", "The same\npower that compels her silence may compel her speech.", "I dare not think\nfurther; for so I should in my thoughts dishonour a noble woman!" ]

[ "\nThis to Jonathan Harker.", "You are to stay with your dear Madam Mina.", "We shall go to make our\nsearch--if I can call it so, for it is not search but knowing, and we\nseek confirmation only.", "But do you stay and take care of her to-day.", "This is your best and most holiest office.", "This day nothing can find him\nhere.", "Let me tell you that so you will know what we four know already,\nfor I have tell them.", "He, our enemy, have gone away; he have gone back\nto his Castle in Transylvania.", "I know it so well, as if a great hand of\nfire wrote it on the wall.", "He have prepare for this in some way, and\nthat last earth-box was ready to ship somewheres.", "I shall have all tickets and so forth for\nour journey.\"", "There was nothing further to be said, and we parted.", "I shall now settle\nup all my affairs of earth, and be ready for whatever may come....\n\n * * * * *\n\n_Later._--It is all done; my will is made, and all complete.", "Mina if she\nsurvive is my sole heir.", "If it should not be so, then the others who\nhave been so good to us shall have remainder.", "It is now drawing towards the sunset; Mina's uneasiness calls my\nattention to it.", "I am sure that there is something on her mind which the\ntime of exact sunset will reveal.", "These occasions are becoming harrowing\ntimes for us all, for each sunrise and sunset opens up some new\ndanger--some new pain, which, however, may in God's will be means to a\ngood end.", "I write all these things in the diary since my darling must\nnot hear them now; but if it may be that she can see them again, they\nshall be ready.", "She is calling to me." ]

[ "\n_11 October, Evening._--Jonathan Harker has asked me to note this, as he\nsays he is hardly equal to the task, and he wants an exact record kept.", "I think that none of us were surprised when we were asked to see Mrs.\nHarker a little before the time of sunset.", "We have of late come to\nunderstand that sunrise and sunset are to her times of peculiar freedom;\nwhen her old self can be manifest without any controlling force subduing\nor restraining her, or inciting her to action.", "This mood or condition\nbegins some half hour or more before actual sunrise or sunset, and lasts\ntill either the sun is high, or whilst the clouds are still aglow with\nthe rays streaming above the horizon.", "At first there is a sort of\nnegative condition, as if some tie were loosened, and then the absolute\nfreedom quickly follows; when, however, the freedom ceases the\nchange-back or relapse comes quickly, preceded only by a spell of\nwarning silence.", "To-night, when we met, she was somewhat constrained, and bore all the\nsigns of an internal struggle.", "I put it down myself to her making a\nviolent effort at the earliest instant she could do so.", "A very few\nminutes, however, gave her complete control of herself; then, motioning\nher husband to sit beside her on the sofa where she was half reclining,\nshe made the rest of us bring chairs up close.", "Taking her husband's hand\nin hers began:--\n\n\"We are all here together in freedom, for perhaps the last time!", "I know,\ndear; I know that you will always be with me to the end.\"", "This was to\nher husband whose hand had, as we could see, tightened upon hers.", "\"In\nthe morning we go out upon our task, and God alone knows what may be in\nstore for any of us.", "You are going to be so good to me as to take me\nwith you.", "I know that all that brave earnest men can do for a poor weak\nwoman, whose soul perhaps is lost--no, no, not yet, but is at any rate\nat stake--you will do.", "But you must remember that I am not as you are.", "There is a poison in my blood, in my soul, which may destroy me; which\nmust destroy me, unless some relief comes to us.", "Oh, my friends, you\nknow as well as I do, that my soul is at stake; and though I know there\nis one way out for me, you must not and I must not take it!\"", "She looked\nappealingly to us all in turn, beginning and ending with her husband.", "\"What is that way?\"", "asked Van Helsing in a hoarse voice.", "\"What is that\nway, which we must not--may not--take?\"", "\"That I may die now, either by my own hand or that of another, before\nthe greater evil is entirely wrought.", "I know, and you know, that were I\nonce dead you could and would set free my immortal spirit, even as you\ndid my poor Lucy's.", "Were death, or the fear of death, the only thing\nthat stood in the way I would not shrink to die here, now, amidst the\nfriends who love me.", "But death is not all.", "I cannot believe that to die\nin such a case, when there is hope before us and a bitter task to be\ndone, is God's will.", "Therefore, I, on my part, give up here the\ncertainty of eternal rest, and go out into the dark where may be the\nblackest things that the world or the nether world holds!\"", "We were all\nsilent, for we knew instinctively that this was only a prelude.", "The\nfaces of the others were set and Harker's grew ashen grey; perhaps he\nguessed better than any of us what was coming.", "She continued:--\n\n\"This is what I can give into the hotch-pot.\"", "I could not but note the\nquaint legal phrase which she used in such a place, and with all\nseriousness.", "\"What will each of you give?", "Your lives I know,\" she went\non quickly, \"that is easy for brave men.", "Your lives are God's, and you\ncan give them back to Him; but what will you give to me?\"", "She looked\nagain questioningly, but this time avoided her husband's face.", "Quincey\nseemed to understand; he nodded, and her face lit up.", "\"Then I shall tell\nyou plainly what I want, for there must be no doubtful matter in this\nconnection between us now.", "You must promise me, one and all--even you,\nmy beloved husband--that, should the time come, you will kill me.\"", "\"What is that time?\"", "The voice was Quincey's, but it was low and\nstrained.", "\"When you shall be convinced that I am so changed that it is better that\nI die that I may live.", "When I am thus dead in the flesh, then you will,\nwithout a moment's delay, drive a stake through me and cut off my head;\nor do whatever else may be wanting to give me rest!\"", "Quincey was the first to rise after the pause.", "He knelt down before her\nand taking her hand in his said solemnly:--\n\n\"I'm only a rough fellow, who hasn't, perhaps, lived as a man should to\nwin such a distinction, but I swear to you by all that I hold sacred and\ndear that, should the time ever come, I shall not flinch from the duty\nthat you have set us.", "And I promise you, too, that I shall make all\ncertain, for if I am only doubtful I shall take it that the time has\ncome!\"", "\"My true friend!\"", "was all she could say amid her fast-falling tears, as,\nbending over, she kissed his hand.", "\"I swear the same, my dear Madam Mina!\"", "said Van Helsing.", "\"And I!\"", "said Lord Godalming, each of them in turn kneeling to her to\ntake the oath.", "I followed, myself.", "Then her husband turned to her\nwan-eyed and with a greenish pallor which subdued the snowy whiteness of\nhis hair, and asked:--\n\n\"And must I, too, make such a promise, oh, my wife?\"", "\"You too, my dearest,\" she said, with infinite yearning of pity in her\nvoice and eyes.", "\"You must not shrink.", "You are nearest and dearest and\nall the world to me; our souls are knit into one, for all life and all\ntime.", "Think, dear, that there have been times when brave men have killed\ntheir wives and their womenkind, to keep them from falling into the\nhands of the enemy.", "Their hands did not falter any the more because\nthose that they loved implored them to slay them.", "It is men's duty\ntowards those whom they love, in such times of sore trial!", "And oh, my\ndear, if it is to be that I must meet death at any hand, let it be at\nthe hand of him that loves me best.", "Dr. Van Helsing, I have not\nforgotten your mercy in poor Lucy's case to him who loved\"--she stopped\nwith a flying blush, and changed her phrase--\"to him who had best right\nto give her peace.", "If that time shall come again, I look to you to make\nit a happy memory of my husband's life that it was his loving hand which\nset me free from the awful thrall upon me.\"", "\"Again I swear!\"", "came the Professor's resonant voice.", "Mrs. Harker\nsmiled, positively smiled, as with a sigh of relief she leaned back and\nsaid:--\n\n\"And now one word of warning, a warning which you must never forget:\nthis time, if it ever come, may come quickly and unexpectedly, and in\nsuch case you must lose no time in using your opportunity.", "At such a\ntime I myself might be--nay!", "if the time ever comes, _shall be_--leagued\nwith your enemy against you.\"", "\"One more request;\" she became very solemn as she said this, \"it is not\nvital and necessary like the other, but I want you to do one thing for\nme, if you will.\"", "We all acquiesced, but no one spoke; there was no need\nto speak:--\n\n\"I want you to read the Burial Service.\"", "She was interrupted by a deep\ngroan from her husband; taking his hand in hers, she held it over her\nheart, and continued: \"You must read it over me some day.", "Whatever may\nbe the issue of all this fearful state of things, it will be a sweet\nthought to all or some of us.", "You, my dearest, will I hope read it, for\nthen it will be in your voice in my memory for ever--come what may!\"", "\"But oh, my dear one,\" he pleaded, \"death is afar off from you.\"", "\"Nay,\" she said, holding up a warning hand.", "\"I am deeper in death at\nthis moment than if the weight of an earthly grave lay heavy upon me!\"", "\"Oh, my wife, must I read it?\"", "he said, before he began.", "\"It would comfort me, my husband!\"", "was all she said; and he began to\nread when she had got the book ready.", "\"How can I--how could any one--tell of that strange scene, its\nsolemnity, its gloom, its sadness, its horror; and, withal, its\nsweetness.", "Even a sceptic, who can see nothing but a travesty of bitter\ntruth in anything holy or emotional, would have been melted to the heart\nhad he seen that little group of loving and devoted friends kneeling\nround that stricken and sorrowing lady; or heard the tender passion of\nher husband's voice, as in tones so broken with emotion that often he\nhad to pause, he read the simple and beautiful service from the Burial\nof the Dead.", "I--I cannot go on--words--and--v-voice--f-fail m-me!\"", "* * * * *\n\nShe was right in her instinct.", "Strange as it all was, bizarre as it may\nhereafter seem even to us who felt its potent influence at the time, it\ncomforted us much; and the silence, which showed Mrs. Harker's coming\nrelapse from her freedom of soul, did not seem so full of despair to any\nof us as we had dreaded.", "_Jonathan Harker's Journal._\n\n_15 October, Varna._--We left Charing Cross on the morning of the 12th,\ngot to Paris the same night, and took the places secured for us in the\nOrient Express.", "We travelled night and day, arriving here at about five\no'clock.", "Lord Godalming went to the Consulate to see if any telegram had\narrived for him, whilst the rest of us came on to this hotel--\"the\nOdessus.\"", "The journey may have had incidents; I was, however, too eager\nto get on, to care for them.", "Until the _Czarina Catherine_ comes into\nport there will be no interest for me in anything in the wide world.", "Thank God!", "Mina is well, and looks to be getting stronger; her colour is\ncoming back.", "She sleeps a great deal; throughout the journey she slept\nnearly all the time.", "Before sunrise and sunset, however, she is very\nwakeful and alert; and it has become a habit for Van Helsing to\nhypnotise her at such times.", "At first, some effort was needed, and he\nhad to make many passes; but now, she seems to yield at once, as if by\nhabit, and scarcely any action is needed.", "He seems to have power at\nthese particular moments to simply will, and her thoughts obey him.", "He\nalways asks her what she can see and hear.", "She answers to the first:--\n\n\"Nothing; all is dark.\"", "And to the second:--\n\n\"I can hear the waves lapping against the ship, and the water rushing\nby.", "Canvas and cordage strain and masts and yards creak.", "The wind is\nhigh--I can hear it in the shrouds, and the bow throws back the foam.\"", "It is evident that the _Czarina Catherine_ is still at sea, hastening on\nher way to Varna.", "Lord Godalming has just returned.", "He had four\ntelegrams, one each day since we started, and all to the same effect:\nthat the _Czarina Catherine_ had not been reported to Lloyd's from\nanywhere.", "He had arranged before leaving London that his agent should\nsend him every day a telegram saying if the ship had been reported.", "He\nwas to have a message even if she were not reported, so that he might be\nsure that there was a watch being kept at the other end of the wire.", "We had dinner and went to bed early.", "To-morrow we are to see the\nVice-Consul, and to arrange, if we can, about getting on board the ship\nas soon as she arrives.", "Van Helsing says that our chance will be to get\non the boat between sunrise and sunset.", "The Count, even if he takes the\nform of a bat, cannot cross the running water of his own volition, and\nso cannot leave the ship.", "As he dare not change to man's form without\nsuspicion--which he evidently wishes to avoid--he must remain in the\nbox.", "If, then, we can come on board after sunrise, he is at our mercy;\nfor we can open the box and make sure of him, as we did of poor Lucy,\nbefore he wakes.", "What mercy he shall get from us will not count for\nmuch.", "We think that we shall not have much trouble with officials or the\nseamen.", "Thank God!", "this is the country where bribery can do anything,\nand we are well supplied with money.", "We have only to make sure that the\nship cannot come into port between sunset and sunrise without our being\nwarned, and we shall be safe.", "Judge Moneybag will settle this case, I\nthink!", "* * * * *\n\n_16 October._--Mina's report still the same: lapping waves and rushing\nwater, darkness and favouring winds.", "We are evidently in good time, and\nwhen we hear of the _Czarina Catherine_ we shall be ready.", "As she must\npass the Dardanelles we are sure to have some report.", "* * * * *\n\n_17 October._--Everything is pretty well fixed now, I think, to welcome\nthe Count on his return from his tour.", "Godalming told the shippers that\nhe fancied that the box sent aboard might contain something stolen from\na friend of his, and got a half consent that he might open it at his own\nrisk.", "The owner gave him a paper telling the Captain to give him every\nfacility in doing whatever he chose on board the ship, and also a\nsimilar authorisation to his agent at Varna.", "We have seen the agent, who\nwas much impressed with Godalming's kindly manner to him, and we are all\nsatisfied that whatever he can do to aid our wishes will be done.", "We\nhave already arranged what to do in case we get the box open.", "If the\nCount is there, Van Helsing and Seward will cut off his head at once and\ndrive a stake through his heart.", "Morris and Godalming and I shall\nprevent interference, even if we have to use the arms which we shall\nhave ready.", "The Professor says that if we can so treat the Count's body,\nit will soon after fall into dust.", "In such case there would be no\nevidence against us, in case any suspicion of murder were aroused.", "But\neven if it were not, we should stand or fall by our act, and perhaps\nsome day this very script may be evidence to come between some of us and\na rope.", "For myself, I should take the chance only too thankfully if it\nwere to come.", "We mean to leave no stone unturned to carry out our\nintent.", "We have arranged with certain officials that the instant the\n_Czarina Catherine_ is seen, we are to be informed by a special\nmessenger.", "* * * * *\n\n_24 October._--A whole week of waiting.", "Daily telegrams to Godalming,\nbut only the same story: \"Not yet reported.\"", "Mina's morning and evening\nhypnotic answer is unvaried: lapping waves, rushing water, and creaking\nmasts.", "_Telegram, October 24th._\n\n_Rufus Smith, Lloyd's, London, to Lord Godalming, care of H. B. M.\nVice-Consul, Varna._\n\n\"_Czarina Catherine_ reported this morning from Dardanelles.\"", "_Dr.", "Seward's Diary._\n\n_25 October._--How I miss my phonograph!", "To write diary with a pen is\nirksome to me; but Van Helsing says I must.", "We were all wild with\nexcitement yesterday when Godalming got his telegram from Lloyd's.", "I\nknow now what men feel in battle when the call to action is heard.", "Mrs.\nHarker, alone of our party, did not show any signs of emotion.", "After\nall, it is not strange that she did not; for we took special care not to\nlet her know anything about it, and we all tried not to show any\nexcitement when we were in her presence.", "In old days she would, I am\nsure, have noticed, no matter how we might have tried to conceal it; but\nin this way she is greatly changed during the past three weeks.", "The\nlethargy grows upon her, and though she seems strong and well, and is\ngetting back some of her colour, Van Helsing and I are not satisfied.", "We\ntalk of her often; we have not, however, said a word to the others.", "It\nwould break poor Harker's heart--certainly his nerve--if he knew that we\nhad even a suspicion on the subject.", "Van Helsing examines, he tells me,\nher teeth very carefully, whilst she is in the hypnotic condition, for\nhe says that so long as they do not begin to sharpen there is no active\ndanger of a change in her.", "If this change should come, it would be\nnecessary to take steps!...", "We both know what those steps would have to\nbe, though we do not mention our thoughts to each other.", "We should\nneither of us shrink from the task--awful though it be to contemplate.", "\"Euthanasia\" is an excellent and a comforting word!", "I am grateful to\nwhoever invented it.", "It is only about 24 hours' sail from the Dardanelles to here, at the\nrate the _Czarina Catherine_ has come from London.", "She should therefore\narrive some time in the morning; but as she cannot possibly get in\nbefore then, we are all about to retire early.", "We shall get up at one\no'clock, so as to be ready.", "* * * * *\n\n_25 October, Noon_.--No news yet of the ship's arrival.", "Mrs. Harker's\nhypnotic report this morning was the same as usual, so it is possible\nthat we may get news at any moment.", "We men are all in a fever of\nexcitement, except Harker, who is calm; his hands are cold as ice, and\nan hour ago I found him whetting the edge of the great Ghoorka knife\nwhich he now always carries with him.", "It will be a bad lookout for the\nCount if the edge of that \"Kukri\" ever touches his throat, driven by\nthat stern, ice-cold hand!", "Van Helsing and I were a little alarmed about Mrs. Harker to-day.", "About\nnoon she got into a sort of lethargy which we did not like; although we\nkept silence to the others, we were neither of us happy about it.", "She\nhad been restless all the morning, so that we were at first glad to know\nthat she was sleeping.", "When, however, her husband mentioned casually\nthat she was sleeping so soundly that he could not wake her, we went to\nher room to see for ourselves.", "She was breathing naturally and looked so\nwell and peaceful that we agreed that the sleep was better for her than\nanything else.", "Poor girl, she has so much to forget that it is no wonder\nthat sleep, if it brings oblivion to her, does her good.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--Our opinion was justified, for when after a refreshing sleep\nof some hours she woke up, she seemed brighter and better than she had\nbeen for days.", "At sunset she made the usual hypnotic report.", "Wherever he\nmay be in the Black Sea, the Count is hurrying to his destination.", "To\nhis doom, I trust!", "* * * * *\n\n_26 October._--Another day and no tidings of the _Czarina Catherine_.", "She ought to be here by now.", "That she is still journeying _somewhere_ is\napparent, for Mrs. Harker's hypnotic report at sunrise was still the\nsame.", "It is possible that the vessel may be lying by, at times, for fog;\nsome of the steamers which came in last evening reported patches of fog\nboth to north and south of the port.", "We must continue our watching, as\nthe ship may now be signalled any moment.", "* * * * *\n\n_27 October, Noon._--Most strange; no news yet of the ship we wait for.", "Mrs. Harker reported last night and this morning as usual: \"lapping\nwaves and rushing water,\" though she added that \"the waves were very\nfaint.\"", "The telegrams from London have been the same: \"no further\nreport.\"", "Van Helsing is terribly anxious, and told me just now that he\nfears the Count is escaping us.", "He added significantly:--\n\n\"I did not like that lethargy of Madam Mina's.", "Souls and memories can do\nstrange things during trance.\"", "I was about to ask him more, but Harker\njust then came in, and he held up a warning hand.", "We must try to-night\nat sunset to make her speak more fully when in her hypnotic state.", "* * * * *\n\n _28 October._--Telegram.", "_Rufus Smith, London, to Lord Godalming,\n care H. B. M. Vice Consul, Varna._\n\n \"_Czarina Catherine_ reported entering Galatz at one o'clock\n to-day.\"", "_Dr.", "Seward's Diary._\n\n_28 October._--When the telegram came announcing the arrival in Galatz I\ndo not think it was such a shock to any of us as might have been\nexpected.", "True, we did not know whence, or how, or when, the bolt would\ncome; but I think we all expected that something strange would happen.", "The delay of arrival at Varna made us individually satisfied that things\nwould not be just as we had expected; we only waited to learn where the\nchange would occur.", "None the less, however, was it a surprise.", "I suppose\nthat nature works on such a hopeful basis that we believe against\nourselves that things will be as they ought to be, not as we should know\nthat they will be.", "Transcendentalism is a beacon to the angels, even if\nit be a will-o'-the-wisp to man.", "It was an odd experience and we all\ntook it differently.", "Van Helsing raised his hand over his head for a\nmoment, as though in remonstrance with the Almighty; but he said not a\nword, and in a few seconds stood up with his face sternly set.", "Lord\nGodalming grew very pale, and sat breathing heavily.", "I was myself half\nstunned and looked in wonder at one after another.", "Quincey Morris\ntightened his belt with that quick movement which I knew so well; in our\nold wandering days it meant \"action.\"", "Mrs. Harker grew ghastly white, so\nthat the scar on her forehead seemed to burn, but she folded her hands\nmeekly and looked up in prayer.", "Harker smiled--actually smiled--the\ndark, bitter smile of one who is without hope; but at the same time his\naction belied his words, for his hands instinctively sought the hilt of\nthe great Kukri knife and rested there.", "\"When does the next train start\nfor Galatz?\"", "said Van Helsing to us generally.", "\"At 6:30 to-morrow morning!\"", "We all started, for the answer came from\nMrs. Harker.", "\"How on earth do you know?\"", "said Art.", "\"You forget--or perhaps you do not know, though Jonathan does and so\ndoes Dr. Van Helsing--that I am the train fiend.", "At home in Exeter I\nalways used to make up the time-tables, so as to be helpful to my\nhusband.", "I found it so useful sometimes, that I always make a study of\nthe time-tables now.", "I knew that if anything were to take us to Castle\nDracula we should go by Galatz, or at any rate through Bucharest, so I\nlearned the times very carefully.", "Unhappily there are not many to learn,\nas the only train to-morrow leaves as I say.\"", "\"Wonderful woman!\"", "murmured the Professor.", "\"Can't we get a special?\"", "asked Lord Godalming.", "Van Helsing shook his\nhead: \"I fear not.", "This land is very different from yours or mine; even\nif we did have a special, it would probably not arrive as soon as our\nregular train.", "Moreover, we have something to prepare.", "We must think.", "Now let us organize.", "You, friend Arthur, go to the train and get the\ntickets and arrange that all be ready for us to go in the morning.", "Do\nyou, friend Jonathan, go to the agent of the ship and get from him\nletters to the agent in Galatz, with authority to make search the ship\njust as it was here.", "Morris Quincey, you see the Vice-Consul, and get\nhis aid with his fellow in Galatz and all he can do to make our way\nsmooth, so that no times be lost when over the Danube.", "John will stay\nwith Madam Mina and me, and we shall consult.", "For so if time be long you\nmay be delayed; and it will not matter when the sun set, since I am here\nwith Madam to make report.\"", "\"And I,\" said Mrs. Harker brightly, and more like her old self than she\nhad been for many a long day, \"shall try to be of use in all ways, and\nshall think and write for you as I used to do.", "Something is shifting\nfrom me in some strange way, and I feel freer than I have been of late!\"", "The three younger men looked happier at the moment as they seemed to\nrealise the significance of her words; but Van Helsing and I, turning to\neach other, met each a grave and troubled glance.", "We said nothing at the\ntime, however.", "When the three men had gone out to their tasks Van Helsing asked Mrs.\nHarker to look up the copy of the diaries and find him the part of\nHarker's journal at the Castle.", "She went away to get it; when the door\nwas shut upon her he said to me:--\n\n\"We mean the same!", "speak out!\"", "\"There is some change.", "It is a hope that makes me sick, for it may\ndeceive us.\"", "\"Quite so.", "Do you know why I asked her to get the manuscript?\"", "\"No!\"", "said I, \"unless it was to get an opportunity of seeing me alone.\"", "\"You are in part right, friend John, but only in part.", "I want to tell\nyou something.", "And oh, my friend, I am taking a great--a terrible--risk;\nbut I believe it is right.", "In the moment when Madam Mina said those\nwords that arrest both our understanding, an inspiration came to me.", "In\nthe trance of three days ago the Count sent her his spirit to read her\nmind; or more like he took her to see him in his earth-box in the ship\nwith water rushing, just as it go free at rise and set of sun.", "He learn\nthen that we are here; for she have more to tell in her open life with\neyes to see and ears to hear than he, shut, as he is, in his coffin-box.", "Now he make his most effort to escape us.", "At present he want her not.", "\"He is sure with his so great knowledge that she will come at his call;\nbut he cut her off--take her, as he can do, out of his own power, that\nso she come not to him.", "Ah!", "there I have hope that our man-brains that\nhave been of man so long and that have not lost the grace of God, will\ncome higher than his child-brain that lie in his tomb for centuries,\nthat grow not yet to our stature, and that do only work selfish and\ntherefore small.", "Here comes Madam Mina; not a word to her of her trance!", "She know it not; and it would overwhelm her and make despair just when\nwe want all her hope, all her courage; when most we want all her great\nbrain which is trained like man's brain, but is of sweet woman and have\na special power which the Count give her, and which he may not take away\naltogether--though he think not so.", "Hush!", "let me speak, and you shall\nlearn.", "Oh, John, my friend, we are in awful straits.", "I fear, as I never\nfeared before.", "We can only trust the good God.", "Silence!", "here she comes!\"", "I thought that the Professor was going to break down and have hysterics,\njust as he had when Lucy died, but with a great effort he controlled\nhimself and was at perfect nervous poise when Mrs. Harker tripped into\nthe room, bright and happy-looking and, in the doing of work, seemingly\nforgetful of her misery.", "As she came in, she handed a number of sheets\nof typewriting to Van Helsing.", "He looked over them gravely, his face\nbrightening up as he read.", "Then holding the pages between his finger and\nthumb he said:--\n\n\"Friend John, to you with so much of experience already--and you, too,\ndear Madam Mina, that are young--here is a lesson: do not fear ever to\nthink.", "A half-thought has been buzzing often in my brain, but I fear to\nlet him loose his wings.", "Here now, with more knowledge, I go back to\nwhere that half-thought come from and I find that he be no half-thought\nat all; that be a whole thought, though so young that he is not yet\nstrong to use his little wings.", "Nay, like the \"Ugly Duck\" of my friend\nHans Andersen, he be no duck-thought at all, but a big swan-thought that\nsail nobly on big wings, when the time come for him to try them.", "See I\nread here what Jonathan have written:--\n\n\"That other of his race who, in a later age, again and again, brought\nhis forces over The Great River into Turkey Land; who, when he was\nbeaten back, came again, and again, and again, though he had to come\nalone from the bloody field where his troops were being slaughtered,\nsince he knew that he alone could ultimately triumph.\"", "\"What does this tell us?", "Not much?", "no!", "The Count's child-thought see\nnothing; therefore he speak so free.", "Your man-thought see nothing; my\nman-thought see nothing, till just now.", "No!", "But there comes another word\nfrom some one who speak without thought because she, too, know not what\nit mean--what it _might_ mean.", "Just as there are elements which rest,\nyet when in nature's course they move on their way and they touch--then\npouf!", "and there comes a flash of light, heaven wide, that blind and kill\nand destroy some; but that show up all earth below for leagues and\nleagues.", "Is it not so?", "Well, I shall explain.", "To begin, have you ever\nstudy the philosophy of crime?", "'Yes' and 'No.'", "You, John, yes; for it is\na study of insanity.", "You, no, Madam Mina; for crime touch you not--not\nbut once.", "Still, your mind works true, and argues not _a particulari ad\nuniversale_.", "There is this peculiarity in criminals.", "It is so constant,\nin all countries and at all times, that even police, who know not much\nfrom philosophy, come to know it empirically, that _it is_.", "That is to\nbe empiric.", "The criminal always work at one crime--that is the true\ncriminal who seems predestinate to crime, and who will of none other.", "This criminal has not full man-brain.", "He is clever and cunning and\nresourceful; but he be not of man-stature as to brain.", "He be of\nchild-brain in much.", "Now this criminal of ours is predestinate to crime\nalso; he, too, have child-brain, and it is of the child to do what he\nhave done.", "The little bird, the little fish, the little animal learn not\nby principle, but empirically; and when he learn to do, then there is to\nhim the ground to start from to do more.", "'_Dos pou sto_,' said\nArchimedes.", "'Give me a fulcrum, and I shall move the world!'", "To do once,\nis the fulcrum whereby child-brain become man-brain; and until he have\nthe purpose to do more, he continue to do the same again every time,\njust as he have done before!", "Oh, my dear, I see that your eyes are\nopened, and that to you the lightning flash show all the leagues,\" for\nMrs. Harker began to clap her hands and her eyes sparkled.", "He went on:--\n\n\"Now you shall speak.", "Tell us two dry men of science what you see with\nthose so bright eyes.\"", "He took her hand and held it whilst she spoke.", "His finger and thumb closed on her pulse, as I thought instinctively and\nunconsciously, as she spoke:--\n\n\"The Count is a criminal and of criminal type.", "Nordau and Lombroso would\nso classify him, and _qua_ criminal he is of imperfectly formed mind.", "Thus, in a difficulty he has to seek resource in habit.", "His past is a\nclue, and the one page of it that we know--and that from his own\nlips--tells that once before, when in what Mr. Morris would call a\n'tight place,' he went back to his own country from the land he had\ntried to invade, and thence, without losing purpose, prepared himself\nfor a new effort.", "He came again better equipped for his work; and won.", "So he came to London to invade a new land.", "He was beaten, and when all\nhope of success was lost, and his existence in danger, he fled back over\nthe sea to his home; just as formerly he had fled back over the Danube\nfrom Turkey Land.\"", "\"Good, good!", "oh, you so clever lady!\"", "said Van Helsing,\nenthusiastically, as he stooped and kissed her hand.", "A moment later he\nsaid to me, as calmly as though we had been having a sick-room\nconsultation:--\n\n\"Seventy-two only; and in all this excitement.", "I have hope.\"", "Turning to\nher again, he said with keen expectation:--\n\n\"But go on.", "Go on!", "there is more to tell if you will.", "Be not afraid;\nJohn and I know.", "I do in any case, and shall tell you if you are right.", "Speak, without fear!\"", "\"I will try to; but you will forgive me if I seem egotistical.\"", "\"Nay!", "fear not, you must be egotist, for it is of you that we think.\"", "\"Then, as he is criminal he is selfish; and as his intellect is small\nand his action is based on selfishness, he confines himself to one\npurpose.", "That purpose is remorseless.", "As he fled back over the Danube,\nleaving his forces to be cut to pieces, so now he is intent on being\nsafe, careless of all.", "So his own selfishness frees my soul somewhat\nfrom the terrible power which he acquired over me on that dreadful\nnight.", "I felt it!", "Oh, I felt it!", "Thank God, for His great mercy!", "My soul\nis freer than it has been since that awful hour; and all that haunts me\nis a fear lest in some trance or dream he may have used my knowledge for\nhis ends.\"", "The Professor stood up:--\n\n\"He has so used your mind; and by it he has left us here in Varna,\nwhilst the ship that carried him rushed through enveloping fog up to\nGalatz, where, doubtless, he had made preparation for escaping from us.", "But his child-mind only saw so far; and it may be that, as ever is in\nGod's Providence, the very thing that the evil-doer most reckoned on for\nhis selfish good, turns out to be his chiefest harm.", "The hunter is taken\nin his own snare, as the great Psalmist says.", "For now that he think he\nis free from every trace of us all, and that he has escaped us with so\nmany hours to him, then his selfish child-brain will whisper him to\nsleep.", "He think, too, that as he cut himself off from knowing your mind,\nthere can be no knowledge of him to you; there is where he fail!", "That\nterrible baptism of blood which he give you makes you free to go to him\nin spirit, as you have as yet done in your times of freedom, when the\nsun rise and set.", "At such times you go by my volition and not by his;\nand this power to good of you and others, as you have won from your\nsuffering at his hands.", "This is now all the more precious that he know\nit not, and to guard himself have even cut himself off from his\nknowledge of our where.", "We, however, are not selfish, and we believe\nthat God is with us through all this blackness, and these many dark\nhours.", "We shall follow him; and we shall not flinch; even if we peril\nourselves that we become like him.", "Friend John, this has been a great\nhour; and it have done much to advance us on our way.", "You must be scribe\nand write him all down, so that when the others return from their work\nyou can give it to them; then they shall know as we do.\"", "And so I have written it whilst we wait their return, and Mrs. Harker\nhas written with her typewriter all since she brought the MS. to us." ]

[ "Even a sceptic, who can see nothing but a travesty of bitter\ntruth in anything holy or emotional, would have been melted to the heart\nhad he seen that little group of loving and devoted friends kneeling\nround that stricken and sorrowing lady; or heard the tender passion of\nher husband's voice, as in tones so broken with emotion that often he\nhad to pause, he read the simple and beautiful service from the Burial\nof the Dead.", "Thank God!", "this is the country where bribery can do anything,\nand we are well supplied with money.", "Van Helsing examines, he tells me,\nher teeth very carefully, whilst she is in the hypnotic condition, for\nhe says that so long as they do not begin to sharpen there is no active\ndanger of a change in her.", "I am grateful to\nwhoever invented it.", "_Rufus Smith, London, to Lord Godalming,\n care H. B. M. Vice Consul, Varna._\n\n \"_Czarina Catherine_ reported entering Galatz at one o'clock\n to-day.\"", "He looked over them gravely, his face\nbrightening up as he read.", "To begin, have you ever\nstudy the philosophy of crime?", "Still, your mind works true, and argues not _a particulari ad\nuniversale_.", "My soul\nis freer than it has been since that awful hour; and all that haunts me\nis a fear lest in some trance or dream he may have used my knowledge for\nhis ends.\"" ]

[ "\"Can't we get a special?\"", "When I am thus dead in the flesh, then you will,\nwithout a moment's delay, drive a stake through me and cut off my head;\nor do whatever else may be wanting to give me rest!\"", "if the time ever comes, _shall be_--leagued\nwith your enemy against you.\"", "I was myself half\nstunned and looked in wonder at one after another.", "He think, too, that as he cut himself off from knowing your mind,\nthere can be no knowledge of him to you; there is where he fail!", "Not much?", "You are nearest and dearest and\nall the world to me; our souls are knit into one, for all life and all\ntime.", "Think, dear, that there have been times when brave men have killed\ntheir wives and their womenkind, to keep them from falling into the\nhands of the enemy.", "As he fled back over the Danube,\nleaving his forces to be cut to pieces, so now he is intent on being\nsafe, careless of all.", "But there comes another word\nfrom some one who speak without thought because she, too, know not what\nit mean--what it _might_ mean." ]

[ "She was breathing naturally and looked so\nwell and peaceful that we agreed that the sleep was better for her than\nanything else.", "Poor girl, she has so much to forget that it is no wonder\nthat sleep, if it brings oblivion to her, does her good.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--Our opinion was justified, for when after a refreshing sleep\nof some hours she woke up, she seemed brighter and better than she had\nbeen for days.", "At sunset she made the usual hypnotic report.", "Wherever he\nmay be in the Black Sea, the Count is hurrying to his destination.", "To\nhis doom, I trust!", "* * * * *\n\n_26 October._--Another day and no tidings of the _Czarina Catherine_.", "She ought to be here by now.", "That she is still journeying _somewhere_ is\napparent, for Mrs. Harker's hypnotic report at sunrise was still the\nsame.", "It is possible that the vessel may be lying by, at times, for fog;\nsome of the steamers which came in last evening reported patches of fog\nboth to north and south of the port.", "We must continue our watching, as\nthe ship may now be signalled any moment." ]

[ "\n_11 October, Evening._--Jonathan Harker has asked me to note this, as he\nsays he is hardly equal to the task, and he wants an exact record kept.", "I think that none of us were surprised when we were asked to see Mrs.\nHarker a little before the time of sunset.", "We have of late come to\nunderstand that sunrise and sunset are to her times of peculiar freedom;\nwhen her old self can be manifest without any controlling force subduing\nor restraining her, or inciting her to action.", "This mood or condition\nbegins some half hour or more before actual sunrise or sunset, and lasts\ntill either the sun is high, or whilst the clouds are still aglow with\nthe rays streaming above the horizon.", "At first there is a sort of\nnegative condition, as if some tie were loosened, and then the absolute\nfreedom quickly follows; when, however, the freedom ceases the\nchange-back or relapse comes quickly, preceded only by a spell of\nwarning silence.", "To-night, when we met, she was somewhat constrained, and bore all the\nsigns of an internal struggle.", "I put it down myself to her making a\nviolent effort at the earliest instant she could do so.", "A very few\nminutes, however, gave her complete control of herself; then, motioning\nher husband to sit beside her on the sofa where she was half reclining,\nshe made the rest of us bring chairs up close.", "Taking her husband's hand\nin hers began:--\n\n\"We are all here together in freedom, for perhaps the last time!", "I know,\ndear; I know that you will always be with me to the end.\"", "For now that he think he\nis free from every trace of us all, and that he has escaped us with so\nmany hours to him, then his selfish child-brain will whisper him to\nsleep.", "He think, too, that as he cut himself off from knowing your mind,\nthere can be no knowledge of him to you; there is where he fail!", "That\nterrible baptism of blood which he give you makes you free to go to him\nin spirit, as you have as yet done in your times of freedom, when the\nsun rise and set.", "At such times you go by my volition and not by his;\nand this power to good of you and others, as you have won from your\nsuffering at his hands.", "This is now all the more precious that he know\nit not, and to guard himself have even cut himself off from his\nknowledge of our where.", "We, however, are not selfish, and we believe\nthat God is with us through all this blackness, and these many dark\nhours.", "We shall follow him; and we shall not flinch; even if we peril\nourselves that we become like him.", "Friend John, this has been a great\nhour; and it have done much to advance us on our way.", "You must be scribe\nand write him all down, so that when the others return from their work\nyou can give it to them; then they shall know as we do.\"", "And so I have written it whilst we wait their return, and Mrs. Harker\nhas written with her typewriter all since she brought the MS. to us." ]

[ "\n\n_29 October._--This is written in the train from Varna to Galatz.", "Last\nnight we all assembled a little before the time of sunset.", "Each of us\nhad done his work as well as he could; so far as thought, and endeavour,\nand opportunity go, we are prepared for the whole of our journey, and\nfor our work when we get to Galatz.", "When the usual time came round Mrs.\nHarker prepared herself for her hypnotic effort; and after a longer and\nmore serious effort on the part of Van Helsing than has been usually\nnecessary, she sank into the trance.", "Usually she speaks on a hint; but\nthis time the Professor had to ask her questions, and to ask them pretty\nresolutely, before we could learn anything; at last her answer came:--\n\n\"I can see nothing; we are still; there are no waves lapping, but only a\nsteady swirl of water softly running against the hawser.", "I can hear\nmen's voices calling, near and far, and the roll and creak of oars in\nthe rowlocks.", "A gun is fired somewhere; the echo of it seems far away.", "There is tramping of feet overhead, and ropes and chains are dragged\nalong.", "What is this?", "There is a gleam of light; I can feel the air\nblowing upon me.\"", "Here she stopped.", "She had risen, as if impulsively, from where she lay\non the sofa, and raised both her hands, palms upwards, as if lifting a\nweight.", "Van Helsing and I looked at each other with understanding.", "Quincey raised his eyebrows slightly and looked at her intently, whilst\nHarker's hand instinctively closed round the hilt of his Kukri.", "There\nwas a long pause.", "We all knew that the time when she could speak was\npassing; but we felt that it was useless to say anything.", "Suddenly she\nsat up, and, as she opened her eyes, said sweetly:--\n\n\"Would none of you like a cup of tea?", "You must all be so tired!\"", "We\ncould only make her happy, and so acquiesced.", "She bustled off to get\ntea; when she had gone Van Helsing said:--\n\n\"You see, my friends.", "_He_ is close to land: he has left his\nearth-chest.", "But he has yet to get on shore.", "In the night he may lie\nhidden somewhere; but if he be not carried on shore, or if the ship do\nnot touch it, he cannot achieve the land.", "In such case he can, if it be\nin the night, change his form and can jump or fly on shore, as he did\nat Whitby.", "But if the day come before he get on shore, then, unless he\nbe carried he cannot escape.", "And if he be carried, then the customs men\nmay discover what the box contain.", "Thus, in fine, if he escape not on\nshore to-night, or before dawn, there will be the whole day lost to him.", "We may then arrive in time; for if he escape not at night we shall come\non him in daytime, boxed up and at our mercy; for he dare not be his\ntrue self, awake and visible, lest he be discovered.\"", "There was no more to be said, so we waited in patience until the dawn;\nat which time we might learn more from Mrs. Harker.", "Early this morning we listened, with breathless anxiety, for her\nresponse in her trance.", "The hypnotic stage was even longer in coming\nthan before; and when it came the time remaining until full sunrise was\nso short that we began to despair.", "Van Helsing seemed to throw his whole\nsoul into the effort; at last, in obedience to his will she made\nreply:--\n\n\"All is dark.", "I hear lapping water, level with me, and some creaking as\nof wood on wood.\"", "She paused, and the red sun shot up.", "We must wait till\nto-night.", "And so it is that we are travelling towards Galatz in an agony of\nexpectation.", "We are due to arrive between two and three in the morning;\nbut already, at Bucharest, we are three hours late, so we cannot\npossibly get in till well after sun-up.", "Thus we shall have two more\nhypnotic messages from Mrs. Harker; either or both may possibly throw\nmore light on what is happening.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--Sunset has come and gone.", "Fortunately it came at a time when\nthere was no distraction; for had it occurred whilst we were at a\nstation, we might not have secured the necessary calm and isolation.", "Mrs. Harker yielded to the hypnotic influence even less readily than\nthis morning.", "I am in fear that her power of reading the Count's\nsensations may die away, just when we want it most.", "It seems to me that\nher imagination is beginning to work.", "Whilst she has been in the trance\nhitherto she has confined herself to the simplest of facts.", "If this goes\non it may ultimately mislead us.", "If I thought that the Count's power\nover her would die away equally with her power of knowledge it would be\na happy thought; but I am afraid that it may not be so.", "When she did\nspeak, her words were enigmatical:--\n\n\"Something is going out; I can feel it pass me like a cold wind.", "I can\nhear, far off, confused sounds--as of men talking in strange tongues,\nfierce-falling water, and the howling of wolves.\"", "She stopped and a\nshudder ran through her, increasing in intensity for a few seconds,\ntill, at the end, she shook as though in a palsy.", "She said no more, even\nin answer to the Professor's imperative questioning.", "When she woke from\nthe trance, she was cold, and exhausted, and languid; but her mind was\nall alert.", "She could not remember anything, but asked what she had said;\nwhen she was told, she pondered over it deeply for a long time and in\nsilence.", "* * * * *\n\n_30 October, 7 a. m._--We are near Galatz now, and I may not have time\nto write later.", "Sunrise this morning was anxiously looked for by us all.", "Knowing of the increasing difficulty of procuring the hypnotic trance,\nVan Helsing began his passes earlier than usual.", "They produced no\neffect, however, until the regular time, when she yielded with a still\ngreater difficulty, only a minute before the sun rose.", "The Professor\nlost no time in his questioning; her answer came with equal quickness:--\n\n\"All is dark.", "I hear water swirling by, level with my ears, and the\ncreaking of wood on wood.", "Cattle low far off.", "There is another sound, a\nqueer one like----\" She stopped and grew white, and whiter still.", "\"Go on; go on!", "Speak, I command you!\"", "said Van Helsing in an agonised\nvoice.", "At the same time there was despair in his eyes, for the risen sun\nwas reddening even Mrs. Harker's pale face.", "She opened her eyes, and we\nall started as she said, sweetly and seemingly with the utmost\nunconcern:--\n\n\"Oh, Professor, why ask me to do what you know I can't?", "I don't remember\nanything.\"", "Then, seeing the look of amazement on our faces, she said,\nturning from one to the other with a troubled look:--\n\n\"What have I said?", "What have I done?", "I know nothing, only that I was\nlying here, half asleep, and heard you say go on!", "speak, I command you!'", "It seemed so funny to hear you order me about, as if I were a bad\nchild!\"", "\"Oh, Madam Mina,\" he said, sadly, \"it is proof, if proof be needed, of\nhow I love and honour you, when a word for your good, spoken more\nearnest than ever, can seem so strange because it is to order her whom I\nam proud to obey!\"", "The whistles are sounding; we are nearing Galatz.", "We are on fire with\nanxiety and eagerness.", "_Mina Harker's Journal._\n\n_30 October._--Mr. Morris took me to the hotel where our rooms had been\nordered by telegraph, he being the one who could best be spared, since\nhe does not speak any foreign language.", "The forces were distributed\nmuch as they had been at Varna, except that Lord Godalming went to the\nVice-Consul, as his rank might serve as an immediate guarantee of some\nsort to the official, we being in extreme hurry.", "Jonathan and the two\ndoctors went to the shipping agent to learn particulars of the arrival\nof the _Czarina Catherine_.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--Lord Godalming has returned.", "The Consul is away, and the\nVice-Consul sick; so the routine work has been attended to by a clerk.", "He was very obliging, and offered to do anything in his power.", "_Jonathan Harker's Journal._\n\n_30 October._--At nine o'clock Dr. Van Helsing, Dr. Seward, and I called\non Messrs. Mackenzie & Steinkoff, the agents of the London firm of\nHapgood.", "They had received a wire from London, in answer to Lord\nGodalming's telegraphed request, asking us to show them any civility in\ntheir power.", "They were more than kind and courteous, and took us at once\non board the _Czarina Catherine_, which lay at anchor out in the river\nharbour.", "There we saw the Captain, Donelson by name, who told us of his\nvoyage.", "He said that in all his life he had never had so favourable a\nrun.", "\"Man!\"", "he said, \"but it made us afeard, for we expeckit that we should\nhave to pay for it wi' some rare piece o' ill luck, so as to keep up the\naverage.", "It's no canny to run frae London to the Black Sea wi' a wind\nahint ye, as though the Deil himself were blawin' on yer sail for his\nain purpose.", "An' a' the time we could no speer a thing.", "Gin we were nigh\na ship, or a port, or a headland, a fog fell on us and travelled wi' us,\ntill when after it had lifted and we looked out, the deil a thing could\nwe see.", "We ran by Gibraltar wi'oot bein' able to signal; an' till we\ncame to the Dardanelles and had to wait to get our permit to pass, we\nnever were within hail o' aught.", "At first I inclined to slack off sail\nand beat about till the fog was lifted; but whiles, I thocht that if the\nDeil was minded to get us into the Black Sea quick, he was like to do it\nwhether we would or no.", "If we had a quick voyage it would be no to our\nmiscredit wi' the owners, or no hurt to our traffic; an' the Old Mon who\nhad served his ain purpose wad be decently grateful to us for no\nhinderin' him.\"", "This mixture of simplicity and cunning, of superstition\nand commercial reasoning, aroused Van Helsing, who said:--\n\n\"Mine friend, that Devil is more clever than he is thought by some; and\nhe know when he meet his match!\"", "The skipper was not displeased with the\ncompliment, and went on:--\n\n\"When we got past the Bosphorus the men began to grumble; some o' them,\nthe Roumanians, came and asked me to heave overboard a big box which had\nbeen put on board by a queer lookin' old man just before we had started\nfrae London.", "I had seen them speer at the fellow, and put out their twa\nfingers when they saw him, to guard against the evil eye.", "Man!", "but the\nsupersteetion of foreigners is pairfectly rideeculous!", "I sent them aboot\ntheir business pretty quick; but as just after a fog closed in on us I\nfelt a wee bit as they did anent something, though I wouldn't say it was\nagin the big box.", "Well, on we went, and as the fog didn't let up for\nfive days I joost let the wind carry us; for if the Deil wanted to get\nsomewheres--well, he would fetch it up a'reet.", "An' if he didn't, well,\nwe'd keep a sharp lookout anyhow.", "Sure eneuch, we had a fair way and\ndeep water all the time; and two days ago, when the mornin' sun came\nthrough the fog, we found ourselves just in the river opposite Galatz.", "The Roumanians were wild, and wanted me right or wrong to take out the\nbox and fling it in the river.", "I had to argy wi' them aboot it wi' a\nhandspike; an' when the last o' them rose off the deck wi' his head in\nhis hand, I had convinced them that, evil eye or no evil eye, the\nproperty and the trust of my owners were better in my hands than in the\nriver Danube.", "They had, mind ye, taken the box on the deck ready to\nfling in, and as it was marked Galatz _via_ Varna, I thocht I'd let it\nlie till we discharged in the port an' get rid o't althegither.", "We\ndidn't do much clearin' that day, an' had to remain the nicht at anchor;\nbut in the mornin', braw an' airly, an hour before sun-up, a man came\naboard wi' an order, written to him from England, to receive a box\nmarked for one Count Dracula.", "Sure eneuch the matter was one ready to\nhis hand.", "He had his papers a' reet, an' glad I was to be rid o' the\ndam' thing, for I was beginnin' masel' to feel uneasy at it.", "If the Deil\ndid have any luggage aboord the ship, I'm thinkin' it was nane ither\nthan that same!\"", "\"What was the name of the man who took it?\"", "asked Dr. Van Helsing with\nrestrained eagerness.", "\"I'll be tellin' ye quick!\"", "he answered, and, stepping down to his\ncabin, produced a receipt signed \"Immanuel Hildesheim.\"", "Burgen-strasse\n16 was the address.", "We found out that this was all the Captain knew; so\nwith thanks we came away.", "We found Hildesheim in his office, a Hebrew of rather the Adelphi\nTheatre type, with a nose like a sheep, and a fez.", "His arguments were\npointed with specie--we doing the punctuation--and with a little\nbargaining he told us what he knew.", "This turned out to be simple but\nimportant.", "He had received a letter from Mr. de Ville of London, telling\nhim to receive, if possible before sunrise so as to avoid customs, a box\nwhich would arrive at Galatz in the _Czarina Catherine_.", "This he was to\ngive in charge to a certain Petrof Skinsky, who dealt with the Slovaks\nwho traded down the river to the port.", "He had been paid for his work by\nan English bank note, which had been duly cashed for gold at the Danube\nInternational Bank.", "When Skinsky had come to him, he had taken him to\nthe ship and handed over the box, so as to save porterage.", "That was all\nhe knew.", "We then sought for Skinsky, but were unable to find him.", "One of his\nneighbours, who did not seem to bear him any affection, said that he had\ngone away two days before, no one knew whither.", "This was corroborated by\nhis landlord, who had received by messenger the key of the house\ntogether with the rent due, in English money.", "This had been between ten\nand eleven o'clock last night.", "We were at a standstill again.", "Whilst we were talking one came running and breathlessly gasped out that\nthe body of Skinsky had been found inside the wall of the churchyard of\nSt. Peter, and that the throat had been torn open as if by some wild\nanimal.", "Those we had been speaking with ran off to see the horror, the\nwomen crying out \"This is the work of a Slovak!\"", "We hurried away lest we\nshould have been in some way drawn into the affair, and so detained.", "As we came home we could arrive at no definite conclusion.", "We were all\nconvinced that the box was on its way, by water, to somewhere; but where\nthat might be we would have to discover.", "With heavy hearts we came home\nto the hotel to Mina.", "When we met together, the first thing was to consult as to taking Mina\nagain into our confidence.", "Things are getting desperate, and it is at\nleast a chance, though a hazardous one.", "As a preliminary step, I was\nreleased from my promise to her.", "_Mina Harker's Journal._\n\n_30 October, evening._--They were so tired and worn out and dispirited\nthat there was nothing to be done till they had some rest; so I asked\nthem all to lie down for half an hour whilst I should enter everything\nup to the moment.", "I feel so grateful to the man who invented the\n\"Traveller's\" typewriter, and to Mr. Morris for getting this one for\nme.", "I should have felt quite; astray doing the work if I had to write\nwith a pen....", "It is all done; poor dear, dear Jonathan, what he must have suffered,\nwhat must he be suffering now.", "He lies on the sofa hardly seeming to\nbreathe, and his whole body appears in collapse.", "His brows are knit; his\nface is drawn with pain.", "Poor fellow, maybe he is thinking, and I can\nsee his face all wrinkled up with the concentration of his thoughts.", "Oh!", "if I could only help at all....", "I shall do what I can.", "I have asked Dr. Van Helsing, and he has got me all the papers that I\nhave not yet seen.... Whilst they are resting, I shall go over all\ncarefully, and perhaps I may arrive at some conclusion.", "I shall try to\nfollow the Professor's example, and think without prejudice on the facts\nbefore me....\n\n * * * * *\n\nI do believe that under God's providence I have made a discovery.", "I\nshall get the maps and look over them....\n\n * * * * *\n\nI am more than ever sure that I am right.", "My new conclusion is ready, so\nI shall get our party together and read it.", "They can judge it; it is\nwell to be accurate, and every minute is precious.", "_Mina Harker's Memorandum._\n\n(Entered in her Journal.)", "_Ground of inquiry._--Count Dracula's problem is to get back to his own\nplace.", "(_a_) He must be _brought back_ by some one.", "This is evident; for had he\npower to move himself as he wished he could go either as man, or wolf,\nor bat, or in some other way.", "He evidently fears discovery or\ninterference, in the state of helplessness in which he must be--confined\nas he is between dawn and sunset in his wooden box.", "(_b_) _How is he to be taken?_--Here a process of exclusions may help\nus.", "By road, by rail, by water?", "1.", "_By Road._--There are endless difficulties, especially in leaving the\ncity.", "(_x_) There are people; and people are curious, and investigate.", "A hint,\na surmise, a doubt as to what might be in the box, would destroy him.", "(_y_) There are, or there may be, customs and octroi officers to pass.", "(_z_) His pursuers might follow.", "This is his highest fear; and in order\nto prevent his being betrayed he has repelled, so far as he can, even\nhis victim--me!", "2.", "_By Rail._--There is no one in charge of the box.", "It would have to\ntake its chance of being delayed; and delay would be fatal, with enemies\non the track.", "True, he might escape at night; but what would he be, if\nleft in a strange place with no refuge that he could fly to?", "This is not\nwhat he intends; and he does not mean to risk it.", "3.", "_By Water._--Here is the safest way, in one respect, but with most\ndanger in another.", "On the water he is powerless except at night; even\nthen he can only summon fog and storm and snow and his wolves.", "But were\nhe wrecked, the living water would engulf him, helpless; and he would\nindeed be lost.", "He could have the vessel drive to land; but if it were\nunfriendly land, wherein he was not free to move, his position would\nstill be desperate.", "We know from the record that he was on the water; so what we have to do\nis to ascertain _what_ water.", "The first thing is to realise exactly what he has done as yet; we may,\nthen, get a light on what his later task is to be.", "_Firstly._--We must differentiate between what he did in London as part\nof his general plan of action, when he was pressed for moments and had\nto arrange as best he could.", "_Secondly_ we must see, as well as we can surmise it from the facts we\nknow of, what he has done here.", "As to the first, he evidently intended to arrive at Galatz, and sent\ninvoice to Varna to deceive us lest we should ascertain his means of\nexit from England; his immediate and sole purpose then was to escape.", "The proof of this, is the letter of instructions sent to Immanuel\nHildesheim to clear and take away the box _before sunrise_.", "There is\nalso the instruction to Petrof Skinsky.", "These we must only guess at; but\nthere must have been some letter or message, since Skinsky came to\nHildesheim.", "That, so far, his plans were successful we know.", "The _Czarina Catherine_\nmade a phenomenally quick journey--so much so that Captain Donelson's\nsuspicions were aroused; but his superstition united with his canniness\nplayed the Count's game for him, and he ran with his favouring wind\nthrough fogs and all till he brought up blindfold at Galatz.", "That the\nCount's arrangements were well made, has been proved.", "Hildesheim cleared\nthe box, took it off, and gave it to Skinsky.", "Skinsky took it--and here\nwe lose the trail.", "We only know that the box is somewhere on the water,\nmoving along.", "The customs and the octroi, if there be any, have been\navoided.", "Now we come to what the Count must have done after his arrival--_on\nland_, at Galatz.", "The box was given to Skinsky before sunrise.", "At sunrise the Count could\nappear in his own form.", "Here, we ask why Skinsky was chosen at all to\naid in the work?", "In my husband's diary, Skinsky is mentioned as dealing\nwith the Slovaks who trade down the river to the port; and the man's\nremark, that the murder was the work of a Slovak, showed the general\nfeeling against his class.", "The Count wanted isolation.", "My surmise is, this: that in London the Count decided to get back to his\ncastle by water, as the most safe and secret way.", "He was brought from\nthe castle by Szgany, and probably they delivered their cargo to Slovaks\nwho took the boxes to Varna, for there they were shipped for London.", "Thus the Count had knowledge of the persons who could arrange this\nservice.", "When the box was on land, before sunrise or after sunset, he\ncame out from his box, met Skinsky and instructed him what to do as to\narranging the carriage of the box up some river.", "When this was done, and\nhe knew that all was in train, he blotted out his traces, as he thought,\nby murdering his agent.", "I have examined the map and find that the river most suitable for the\nSlovaks to have ascended is either the Pruth or the Sereth.", "I read in\nthe typescript that in my trance I heard cows low and water swirling\nlevel with my ears and the creaking of wood.", "The Count in his box, then,\nwas on a river in an open boat--propelled probably either by oars or\npoles, for the banks are near and it is working against stream.", "There\nwould be no such sound if floating down stream.", "Of course it may not be either the Sereth or the Pruth, but we may\npossibly investigate further.", "Now of these two, the Pruth is the more\neasily navigated, but the Sereth is, at Fundu, joined by the Bistritza\nwhich runs up round the Borgo Pass.", "The loop it makes is manifestly as\nclose to Dracula's castle as can be got by water.", "_Mina Harker's Journal--continued._\n\nWhen I had done reading, Jonathan took me in his arms and kissed me.", "The\nothers kept shaking me by both hands, and Dr. Van Helsing said:--\n\n\"Our dear Madam Mina is once more our teacher.", "Her eyes have been where\nwe were blinded.", "Now we are on the track once again, and this time we\nmay succeed.", "Our enemy is at his most helpless; and if we can come on\nhim by day, on the water, our task will be over.", "He has a start, but he\nis powerless to hasten, as he may not leave his box lest those who carry\nhim may suspect; for them to suspect would be to prompt them to throw\nhim in the stream where he perish.", "This he knows, and will not.", "Now men,\nto our Council of War; for, here and now, we must plan what each and all\nshall do.\"", "\"I shall get a steam launch and follow him,\" said Lord Godalming.", "\"And I, horses to follow on the bank lest by chance he land,\" said Mr.\nMorris.", "\"Good!\"", "said the Professor, \"both good.", "But neither must go alone.", "There\nmust be force to overcome force if need be; the Slovak is strong and\nrough, and he carries rude arms.\"", "All the men smiled, for amongst them\nthey carried a small arsenal.", "Said Mr. Morris:--\n\n\"I have brought some Winchesters; they are pretty handy in a crowd, and\nthere may be wolves.", "The Count, if you remember, took some other\nprecautions; he made some requisitions on others that Mrs. Harker could\nnot quite hear or understand.", "We must be ready at all points.\"", "Dr.\nSeward said:--\n\n\"I think I had better go with Quincey.", "We have been accustomed to hunt\ntogether, and we two, well armed, will be a match for whatever may come\nalong.", "You must not be alone, Art.", "It may be necessary to fight the\nSlovaks, and a chance thrust--for I don't suppose these fellows carry\nguns--would undo all our plans.", "There must be no chances, this time; we\nshall, not rest until the Count's head and body have been separated, and\nwe are sure that he cannot re-incarnate.\"", "He looked at Jonathan as he\nspoke, and Jonathan looked at me.", "I could see that the poor dear was\ntorn about in his mind.", "Of course he wanted to be with me; but then the\nboat service would, most likely, be the one which would destroy the ...\nthe ... the ... Vampire.", "(Why did I hesitate to write the word?)", "He was\nsilent awhile, and during his silence Dr. Van Helsing spoke:--\n\n\"Friend Jonathan, this is to you for twice reasons.", "First, because you\nare young and brave and can fight, and all energies may be needed at the\nlast; and again that it is your right to destroy him--that--which has\nwrought such woe to you and yours.", "Be not afraid for Madam Mina; she\nwill be my care, if I may.", "I am old.", "My legs are not so quick to run as\nonce; and I am not used to ride so long or to pursue as need be, or to\nfight with lethal weapons.", "But I can be of other service; I can fight in\nother way.", "And I can die, if need be, as well as younger men.", "Now let\nme say that what I would is this: while you, my Lord Godalming and\nfriend Jonathan go in your so swift little steamboat up the river, and\nwhilst John and Quincey guard the bank where perchance he might be\nlanded, I will take Madam Mina right into the heart of the enemy's\ncountry.", "Whilst the old fox is tied in his box, floating on the running\nstream whence he cannot escape to land--where he dares not raise the lid\nof his coffin-box lest his Slovak carriers should in fear leave him to\nperish--we shall go in the track where Jonathan went,--from Bistritz\nover the Borgo, and find our way to the Castle of Dracula.", "Here, Madam\nMina's hypnotic power will surely help, and we shall find our way--all\ndark and unknown otherwise--after the first sunrise when we are near\nthat fateful place.", "There is much to be done, and other places to be\nmade sanctify, so that that nest of vipers be obliterated.\"", "Here\nJonathan interrupted him hotly:--\n\n\"Do you mean to say, Professor Van Helsing, that you would bring Mina,\nin her sad case and tainted as she is with that devil's illness, right\ninto the jaws of his death-trap?", "Not for the world!", "Not for Heaven or\nHell!\"", "He became almost speechless for a minute, and then went on:--\n\n\"Do you know what the place is?", "Have you seen that awful den of hellish\ninfamy--with the very moonlight alive with grisly shapes, and every\nspeck of dust that whirls in the wind a devouring monster in embryo?", "Have you felt the Vampire's lips upon your throat?\"", "Here he turned to\nme, and as his eyes lit on my forehead he threw up his arms with a cry:\n\"Oh, my God, what have we done to have this terror upon us!\"", "and he sank\ndown on the sofa in a collapse of misery.", "The Professor's voice, as he\nspoke in clear, sweet tones, which seemed to vibrate in the air, calmed\nus all:--\n\n\"Oh, my friend, it is because I would save Madam Mina from that awful\nplace that I would go.", "God forbid that I should take her into that\nplace.", "There is work--wild work--to be done there, that her eyes may not\nsee.", "We men here, all save Jonathan, have seen with their own eyes what\nis to be done before that place can be purify.", "Remember that we are in\nterrible straits.", "If the Count escape us this time--and he is strong and\nsubtle and cunning--he may choose to sleep him for a century, and then\nin time our dear one\"--he took my hand--\"would come to him to keep him\ncompany, and would be as those others that you, Jonathan, saw.", "You have\ntold us of their gloating lips; you heard their ribald laugh as they\nclutched the moving bag that the Count threw to them.", "You shudder; and\nwell may it be.", "Forgive me that I make you so much pain, but it is\nnecessary.", "My friend, is it not a dire need for the which I am giving,\npossibly my life?", "If it were that any one went into that place to stay,\nit is I who would have to go to keep them company.\"", "\"Do as you will,\" said Jonathan, with a sob that shook him all over, \"we\nare in the hands of God!\"", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--Oh, it did me good to see the way that these brave men worked.", "How can women help loving men when they are so earnest, and so true, and\nso brave!", "And, too, it made me think of the wonderful power of money!", "What can it not do when it is properly applied; and what might it do\nwhen basely used.", "I felt so thankful that Lord Godalming is rich, and\nthat both he and Mr. Morris, who also has plenty of money, are willing\nto spend it so freely.", "For if they did not, our little expedition could\nnot start, either so promptly or so well equipped, as it will within\nanother hour.", "It is not three hours since it was arranged what part each\nof us was to do; and now Lord Godalming and Jonathan have a lovely steam\nlaunch, with steam up ready to start at a moment's notice.", "Dr. Seward\nand Mr. Morris have half a dozen good horses, well appointed.", "We have\nall the maps and appliances of various kinds that can be had.", "Professor\nVan Helsing and I are to leave by the 11:40 train to-night for Veresti,\nwhere we are to get a carriage to drive to the Borgo Pass.", "We are\nbringing a good deal of ready money, as we are to buy a carriage and\nhorses.", "We shall drive ourselves, for we have no one whom we can trust\nin the matter.", "The Professor knows something of a great many languages,\nso we shall get on all right.", "We have all got arms, even for me a\nlarge-bore revolver; Jonathan would not be happy unless I was armed like\nthe rest.", "Alas!", "I cannot carry one arm that the rest do; the scar on my\nforehead forbids that.", "Dear Dr. Van Helsing comforts me by telling me\nthat I am fully armed as there may be wolves; the weather is getting\ncolder every hour, and there are snow-flurries which come and go as\nwarnings.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--It took all my courage to say good-bye to my darling.", "We may\nnever meet again.", "Courage, Mina!", "the Professor is looking at you keenly;\nhis look is a warning.", "There must be no tears now--unless it may be that\nGod will let them fall in gladness.", "_Jonathan Harker's Journal._\n\n_October 30.", "Night._--I am writing this in the light from the furnace\ndoor of the steam launch: Lord Godalming is firing up.", "He is an\nexperienced hand at the work, as he has had for years a launch of his\nown on the Thames, and another on the Norfolk Broads.", "Regarding our\nplans, we finally decided that Mina's guess was correct, and that if any\nwaterway was chosen for the Count's escape back to his Castle, the\nSereth and then the Bistritza at its junction, would be the one.", "We took\nit, that somewhere about the 47th degree, north latitude, would be the\nplace chosen for the crossing the country between the river and the\nCarpathians.", "We have no fear in running at good speed up the river at\nnight; there is plenty of water, and the banks are wide enough apart to\nmake steaming, even in the dark, easy enough.", "Lord Godalming tells me to\nsleep for a while, as it is enough for the present for one to be on\nwatch.", "But I cannot sleep--how can I with the terrible danger hanging\nover my darling, and her going out into that awful place.... My only\ncomfort is that we are in the hands of God.", "Only for that faith it would\nbe easier to die than to live, and so be quit of all the trouble.", "Mr.\nMorris and Dr. Seward were off on their long ride before we started;\nthey are to keep up the right bank, far enough off to get on higher\nlands where they can see a good stretch of river and avoid the following\nof its curves.", "They have, for the first stages, two men to ride and lead\ntheir spare horses--four in all, so as not to excite curiosity.", "When\nthey dismiss the men, which shall be shortly, they shall themselves look\nafter the horses.", "It may be necessary for us to join forces; if so they\ncan mount our whole party.", "One of the saddles has a movable horn, and\ncan be easily adapted for Mina, if required.", "It is a wild adventure we are on.", "Here, as we are rushing along through\nthe darkness, with the cold from the river seeming to rise up and strike\nus; with all the mysterious voices of the night around us, it all comes\nhome.", "We seem to be drifting into unknown places and unknown ways; into\na whole world of dark and dreadful things.", "Godalming is shutting the\nfurnace door....\n\n * * * * *\n\n_31 October._--Still hurrying along.", "The day has come, and Godalming is\nsleeping.", "I am on watch.", "The morning is bitterly cold; the furnace heat\nis grateful, though we have heavy fur coats.", "As yet we have passed only\na few open boats, but none of them had on board any box or package of\nanything like the size of the one we seek.", "The men were scared every\ntime we turned our electric lamp on them, and fell on their knees and\nprayed.", "* * * * *\n\n_1 November, evening._--No news all day; we have found nothing of the\nkind we seek.", "We have now passed into the Bistritza; and if we are wrong\nin our surmise our chance is gone.", "We have over-hauled every boat, big\nand little.", "Early this morning, one crew took us for a Government boat,\nand treated us accordingly.", "We saw in this a way of smoothing matters,\nso at Fundu, where the Bistritza runs into the Sereth, we got a\nRoumanian flag which we now fly conspicuously.", "With every boat which we\nhave over-hauled since then this trick has succeeded; we have had every\ndeference shown to us, and not once any objection to whatever we chose\nto ask or do.", "Some of the Slovaks tell us that a big boat passed them,\ngoing at more than usual speed as she had a double crew on board.", "This\nwas before they came to Fundu, so they could not tell us whether the\nboat turned into the Bistritza or continued on up the Sereth.", "At Fundu\nwe could not hear of any such boat, so she must have passed there in the\nnight.", "I am feeling very sleepy; the cold is perhaps beginning to tell\nupon me, and nature must have rest some time.", "Godalming insists that he\nshall keep the first watch.", "God bless him for all his goodness to poor\ndear Mina and me.", "* * * * *\n\n_2 November, morning._--It is broad daylight.", "That good fellow would not\nwake me.", "He says it would have been a sin to, for I slept peacefully and\nwas forgetting my trouble.", "It seems brutally selfish to me to have slept\nso long, and let him watch all night; but he was quite right.", "I am a new\nman this morning; and, as I sit here and watch him sleeping, I can do\nall that is necessary both as to minding the engine, steering, and\nkeeping watch.", "I can feel that my strength and energy are coming back to\nme.", "I wonder where Mina is now, and Van Helsing.", "They should have got to\nVeresti about noon on Wednesday.", "It would take them some time to get the\ncarriage and horses; so if they had started and travelled hard, they\nwould be about now at the Borgo Pass.", "God guide and help them!", "I am\nafraid to think what may happen.", "If we could only go faster!", "but we\ncannot; the engines are throbbing and doing their utmost.", "I wonder how\nDr. Seward and Mr. Morris are getting on.", "There seem to be endless\nstreams running down the mountains into this river, but as none of them\nare very large--at present, at all events, though they are terrible\ndoubtless in winter and when the snow melts--the horsemen may not have\nmet much obstruction.", "I hope that before we get to Strasba we may see\nthem; for if by that time we have not overtaken the Count, it may be\nnecessary to take counsel together what to do next.", "_Dr.", "Seward's Diary._\n\n_2 November._--Three days on the road.", "No news, and no time to write it\nif there had been, for every moment is precious.", "We have had only the\nrest needful for the horses; but we are both bearing it wonderfully.", "Those adventurous days of ours are turning up useful.", "We must push on;\nwe shall never feel happy till we get the launch in sight again.", "* * * * *\n\n_3 November._--We heard at Fundu that the launch had gone up the\nBistritza.", "I wish it wasn't so cold.", "There are signs of snow coming; and\nif it falls heavy it will stop us.", "In such case we must get a sledge and\ngo on, Russian fashion.", "* * * * *\n\n_4 November._--To-day we heard of the launch having been detained by an\naccident when trying to force a way up the rapids.", "The Slovak boats get\nup all right, by aid of a rope and steering with knowledge.", "Some went up\nonly a few hours before.", "Godalming is an amateur fitter himself, and\nevidently it was he who put the launch in trim again.", "Finally, they got\nup the rapids all right, with local help, and are off on the chase\nafresh.", "I fear that the boat is not any better for the accident; the\npeasantry tell us that after she got upon smooth water again, she kept\nstopping every now and again so long as she was in sight.", "We must push\non harder than ever; our help may be wanted soon.", "_Mina Harker's Journal._\n\n_31 October._--Arrived at Veresti at noon.", "The Professor tells me that\nthis morning at dawn he could hardly hypnotise me at all, and that all I\ncould say was: \"dark and quiet.\"", "He is off now buying a carriage and\nhorses.", "He says that he will later on try to buy additional horses, so\nthat we may be able to change them on the way.", "We have something more\nthan 70 miles before us.", "The country is lovely, and most interesting; if\nonly we were under different conditions, how delightful it would be to\nsee it all.", "If Jonathan and I were driving through it alone what a\npleasure it would be.", "To stop and see people, and learn something of\ntheir life, and to fill our minds and memories with all the colour and\npicturesqueness of the whole wild, beautiful country and the quaint\npeople!", "But, alas!--\n\n * * * * *\n\n_Later._--Dr. Van Helsing has returned.", "He has got the carriage and\nhorses; we are to have some dinner, and to start in an hour.", "The\nlandlady is putting us up a huge basket of provisions; it seems enough\nfor a company of soldiers.", "The Professor encourages her, and whispers to\nme that it may be a week before we can get any good food again.", "He has\nbeen shopping too, and has sent home such a wonderful lot of fur coats\nand wraps, and all sorts of warm things.", "There will not be any chance of\nour being cold.", "* * * * *\n\nWe shall soon be off.", "I am afraid to think what may happen to us.", "We are\ntruly in the hands of God.", "He alone knows what may be, and I pray Him,\nwith all the strength of my sad and humble soul, that He will watch over\nmy beloved husband; that whatever may happen, Jonathan may know that I\nloved him and honoured him more than I can say, and that my latest and\ntruest thought will be always for him." ]

[ "Quincey raised his eyebrows slightly and looked at her intently, whilst\nHarker's hand instinctively closed round the hilt of his Kukri.", "said Van Helsing in an agonised\nvoice.", "\"Oh, Madam Mina,\" he said, sadly, \"it is proof, if proof be needed, of\nhow I love and honour you, when a word for your good, spoken more\nearnest than ever, can seem so strange because it is to order her whom I\nam proud to obey!\"", "The Roumanians were wild, and wanted me right or wrong to take out the\nbox and fling it in the river.", "When Skinsky had come to him, he had taken him to\nthe ship and handed over the box, so as to save porterage.", "That, so far, his plans were successful we know.", "Skinsky took it--and here\nwe lose the trail.", "Have you felt the Vampire's lips upon your throat?\"", "Dear Dr. Van Helsing comforts me by telling me\nthat I am fully armed as there may be wolves; the weather is getting\ncolder every hour, and there are snow-flurries which come and go as\nwarnings.", "We took\nit, that somewhere about the 47th degree, north latitude, would be the\nplace chosen for the crossing the country between the river and the\nCarpathians." ]

[ "This mixture of simplicity and cunning, of superstition\nand commercial reasoning, aroused Van Helsing, who said:--\n\n\"Mine friend, that Devil is more clever than he is thought by some; and\nhe know when he meet his match!\"", "I am\nafraid to think what may happen.", "(_b_) _How is he to be taken?_--Here a process of exclusions may help\nus.", "We have no fear in running at good speed up the river at\nnight; there is plenty of water, and the banks are wide enough apart to\nmake steaming, even in the dark, easy enough.", "We must push\non harder than ever; our help may be wanted soon.", "There will not be any chance of\nour being cold.", "I sent them aboot\ntheir business pretty quick; but as just after a fog closed in on us I\nfelt a wee bit as they did anent something, though I wouldn't say it was\nagin the big box.", "* * * * *\n\n_Later._--Lord Godalming has returned.", "Alas!", "I wish it wasn't so cold." ]

[ "There is\nalso the instruction to Petrof Skinsky.", "These we must only guess at; but\nthere must have been some letter or message, since Skinsky came to\nHildesheim.", "That, so far, his plans were successful we know.", "The _Czarina Catherine_\nmade a phenomenally quick journey--so much so that Captain Donelson's\nsuspicions were aroused; but his superstition united with his canniness\nplayed the Count's game for him, and he ran with his favouring wind\nthrough fogs and all till he brought up blindfold at Galatz.", "That the\nCount's arrangements were well made, has been proved.", "Hildesheim cleared\nthe box, took it off, and gave it to Skinsky.", "Skinsky took it--and here\nwe lose the trail.", "We only know that the box is somewhere on the water,\nmoving along.", "The customs and the octroi, if there be any, have been\navoided.", "Now we come to what the Count must have done after his arrival--_on\nland_, at Galatz.", "The box was given to Skinsky before sunrise." ]

[ "\n\n_29 October._--This is written in the train from Varna to Galatz.", "Last\nnight we all assembled a little before the time of sunset.", "Each of us\nhad done his work as well as he could; so far as thought, and endeavour,\nand opportunity go, we are prepared for the whole of our journey, and\nfor our work when we get to Galatz.", "When the usual time came round Mrs.\nHarker prepared herself for her hypnotic effort; and after a longer and\nmore serious effort on the part of Van Helsing than has been usually\nnecessary, she sank into the trance.", "Usually she speaks on a hint; but\nthis time the Professor had to ask her questions, and to ask them pretty\nresolutely, before we could learn anything; at last her answer came:--\n\n\"I can see nothing; we are still; there are no waves lapping, but only a\nsteady swirl of water softly running against the hawser.", "I can hear\nmen's voices calling, near and far, and the roll and creak of oars in\nthe rowlocks.", "A gun is fired somewhere; the echo of it seems far away.", "There is tramping of feet overhead, and ropes and chains are dragged\nalong.", "What is this?", "There is a gleam of light; I can feel the air\nblowing upon me.\"", "But, alas!--\n\n * * * * *\n\n_Later._--Dr. Van Helsing has returned.", "He has got the carriage and\nhorses; we are to have some dinner, and to start in an hour.", "The\nlandlady is putting us up a huge basket of provisions; it seems enough\nfor a company of soldiers.", "The Professor encourages her, and whispers to\nme that it may be a week before we can get any good food again.", "He has\nbeen shopping too, and has sent home such a wonderful lot of fur coats\nand wraps, and all sorts of warm things.", "There will not be any chance of\nour being cold.", "* * * * *\n\nWe shall soon be off.", "I am afraid to think what may happen to us.", "We are\ntruly in the hands of God.", "He alone knows what may be, and I pray Him,\nwith all the strength of my sad and humble soul, that He will watch over\nmy beloved husband; that whatever may happen, Jonathan may know that I\nloved him and honoured him more than I can say, and that my latest and\ntruest thought will be always for him." ]

[ "\n_1 November._--All day long we have travelled, and at a good speed.", "The\nhorses seem to know that they are being kindly treated, for they go\nwillingly their full stage at best speed.", "We have now had so many\nchanges and find the same thing so constantly that we are encouraged to\nthink that the journey will be an easy one.", "Dr. Van Helsing is laconic;\nhe tells the farmers that he is hurrying to Bistritz, and pays them well\nto make the exchange of horses.", "We get hot soup, or coffee, or tea; and\noff we go.", "It is a lovely country; full of beauties of all imaginable\nkinds, and the people are brave, and strong, and simple, and seem full\nof nice qualities.", "They are _very, very_ superstitious.", "In the first\nhouse where we stopped, when the woman who served us saw the scar on my\nforehead, she crossed herself and put out two fingers towards me, to\nkeep off the evil eye.", "I believe they went to the trouble of putting an\nextra amount of garlic into our food; and I can't abide garlic.", "Ever\nsince then I have taken care not to take off my hat or veil, and so have\nescaped their suspicions.", "We are travelling fast, and as we have no\ndriver with us to carry tales, we go ahead of scandal; but I daresay\nthat fear of the evil eye will follow hard behind us all the way.", "The\nProfessor seems tireless; all day he would not take any rest, though he\nmade me sleep for a long spell.", "At sunset time he hypnotised me, and he\nsays that I answered as usual \"darkness, lapping water and creaking\nwood\"; so our enemy is still on the river.", "I am afraid to think of\nJonathan, but somehow I have now no fear for him, or for myself.", "I write\nthis whilst we wait in a farmhouse for the horses to be got ready.", "Dr.\nVan Helsing is sleeping, Poor dear, he looks very tired and old and\ngrey, but his mouth is set as firmly as a conqueror's; even in his sleep\nhe is instinct with resolution.", "When we have well started I must make\nhim rest whilst I drive.", "I shall tell him that we have days before us,\nand we must not break down when most of all his strength will be\nneeded.... All is ready; we are off shortly.", "* * * * *\n\n_2 November, morning._--I was successful, and we took turns driving all\nnight; now the day is on us, bright though cold.", "There is a strange\nheaviness in the air--I say heaviness for want of a better word; I mean\nthat it oppresses us both.", "It is very cold, and only our warm furs keep\nus comfortable.", "At dawn Van Helsing hypnotised me; he says I answered\n\"darkness, creaking wood and roaring water,\" so the river is changing as\nthey ascend.", "I do hope that my darling will not run any chance of\ndanger--more than need be; but we are in God's hands.", "* * * * *\n\n_2 November, night._--All day long driving.", "The country gets wilder as\nwe go, and the great spurs of the Carpathians, which at Veresti seemed\nso far from us and so low on the horizon, now seem to gather round us\nand tower in front.", "We both seem in good spirits; I think we make an\neffort each to cheer the other; in the doing so we cheer ourselves.", "Dr.\nVan Helsing says that by morning we shall reach the Borgo Pass.", "The\nhouses are very few here now, and the Professor says that the last horse\nwe got will have to go on with us, as we may not be able to change.", "He\ngot two in addition to the two we changed, so that now we have a rude\nfour-in-hand.", "The dear horses are patient and good, and they give us no\ntrouble.", "We are not worried with other travellers, and so even I can\ndrive.", "We shall get to the Pass in daylight; we do not want to arrive\nbefore.", "So we take it easy, and have each a long rest in turn.", "Oh, what\nwill to-morrow bring to us?", "We go to seek the place where my poor\ndarling suffered so much.", "God grant that we may be guided aright, and\nthat He will deign to watch over my husband and those dear to us both,\nand who are in such deadly peril.", "As for me, I am not worthy in His\nsight.", "Alas!", "I am unclean to His eyes, and shall be until He may deign\nto let me stand forth in His sight as one of those who have not incurred\nHis wrath.", "_Memorandum by Abraham Van Helsing._\n\n_4 November._--This to my old and true friend John Seward, M.D., of\nPurfleet, London, in case I may not see him.", "It may explain.", "It is\nmorning, and I write by a fire which all the night I have kept\nalive--Madam Mina aiding me.", "It is cold, cold; so cold that the grey\nheavy sky is full of snow, which when it falls will settle for all\nwinter as the ground is hardening to receive it.", "It seems to have\naffected Madam Mina; she has been so heavy of head all day that she was\nnot like herself.", "She sleeps, and sleeps, and sleeps!", "She who is usual\nso alert, have done literally nothing all the day; she even have lost\nher appetite.", "She make no entry into her little diary, she who write so\nfaithful at every pause.", "Something whisper to me that all is not well.", "However, to-night she is more _vif_.", "Her long sleep all day have refresh\nand restore her, for now she is all sweet and bright as ever.", "At sunset\nI try to hypnotise her, but alas!", "with no effect; the power has grown\nless and less with each day, and to-night it fail me altogether.", "Well,\nGod's will be done--whatever it may be, and whithersoever it may lead!", "Now to the historical, for as Madam Mina write not in her stenography, I\nmust, in my cumbrous old fashion, that so each day of us may not go\nunrecorded.", "We got to the Borgo Pass just after sunrise yesterday morning.", "When I\nsaw the signs of the dawn I got ready for the hypnotism.", "We stopped our\ncarriage, and got down so that there might be no disturbance.", "I made a\ncouch with furs, and Madam Mina, lying down, yield herself as usual, but\nmore slow and more short time than ever, to the hypnotic sleep.", "As\nbefore, came the answer: \"darkness and the swirling of water.\"", "Then she\nwoke, bright and radiant and we go on our way and soon reach the Pass.", "At this time and place, she become all on fire with zeal; some new\nguiding power be in her manifested, for she point to a road and say:--\n\n\"This is the way.\"", "\"How know you it?\"", "I ask.", "\"Of course I know it,\" she answer, and with a pause, add: \"Have not my\nJonathan travelled it and wrote of his travel?\"", "At first I think somewhat strange, but soon I see that there be only one\nsuch by-road.", "It is used but little, and very different from the coach\nroad from the Bukovina to Bistritz, which is more wide and hard, and\nmore of use.", "So we came down this road; when we meet other ways--not always were we\nsure that they were roads at all, for they be neglect and light snow\nhave fallen--the horses know and they only.", "I give rein to them, and\nthey go on so patient.", "By-and-by we find all the things which Jonathan\nhave note in that wonderful diary of him.", "Then we go on for long, long\nhours and hours.", "At the first, I tell Madam Mina to sleep; she try, and\nshe succeed.", "She sleep all the time; till at the last, I feel myself to\nsuspicious grow, and attempt to wake her.", "But she sleep on, and I may\nnot wake her though I try.", "I do not wish to try too hard lest I harm\nher; for I know that she have suffer much, and sleep at times be\nall-in-all to her.", "I think I drowse myself, for all of sudden I feel\nguilt, as though I have done something; I find myself bolt up, with the\nreins in my hand, and the good horses go along jog, jog, just as ever.", "I\nlook down and find Madam Mina still sleep.", "It is now not far off sunset\ntime, and over the snow the light of the sun flow in big yellow flood,\nso that we throw great long shadow on where the mountain rise so steep.", "For we are going up, and up; and all is oh!", "so wild and rocky, as though\nit were the end of the world.", "Then I arouse Madam Mina.", "This time she wake with not much trouble, and\nthen I try to put her to hypnotic sleep.", "But she sleep not, being as\nthough I were not.", "Still I try and try, till all at once I find her and\nmyself in dark; so I look round, and find that the sun have gone down.", "Madam Mina laugh, and I turn and look at her.", "She is now quite awake,\nand look so well as I never saw her since that night at Carfax when we\nfirst enter the Count's house.", "I am amaze, and not at ease then; but she\nis so bright and tender and thoughtful for me that I forget all fear.", "I\nlight a fire, for we have brought supply of wood with us, and she\nprepare food while I undo the horses and set them, tethered in shelter,\nto feed.", "Then when I return to the fire she have my supper ready.", "I go\nto help her; but she smile, and tell me that she have eat already--that\nshe was so hungry that she would not wait.", "I like it not, and I have\ngrave doubts; but I fear to affright her, and so I am silent of it.", "She\nhelp me and I eat alone; and then we wrap in fur and lie beside the\nfire, and I tell her to sleep while I watch.", "But presently I forget all\nof watching; and when I sudden remember that I watch, I find her lying\nquiet, but awake, and looking at me with so bright eyes.", "Once, twice\nmore the same occur, and I get much sleep till before morning.", "When I\nwake I try to hypnotise her; but alas!", "though she shut her eyes\nobedient, she may not sleep.", "The sun rise up, and up, and up; and then\nsleep come to her too late, but so heavy that she will not wake.", "I have\nto lift her up, and place her sleeping in the carriage when I have\nharnessed the horses and made all ready.", "Madam still sleep, and she look\nin her sleep more healthy and more redder than before.", "And I like it\nnot.", "And I am afraid, afraid, afraid!--I am afraid of all things--even\nto think but I must go on my way.", "The stake we play for is life and\ndeath, or more than these, and we must not flinch.", "* * * * *\n\n_5 November, morning._--Let me be accurate in everything, for though you\nand I have seen some strange things together, you may at the first think\nthat I, Van Helsing, am mad--that the many horrors and the so long\nstrain on nerves has at the last turn my brain.", "All yesterday we travel, ever getting closer to the mountains, and\nmoving into a more and more wild and desert land.", "There are great,\nfrowning precipices and much falling water, and Nature seem to have held\nsometime her carnival.", "Madam Mina still sleep and sleep; and though I\ndid have hunger and appeased it, I could not waken her--even for food.", "I\nbegan to fear that the fatal spell of the place was upon her, tainted as\nshe is with that Vampire baptism.", "\"Well,\" said I to myself, \"if it be\nthat she sleep all the day, it shall also be that I do not sleep at\nnight.\"", "As we travel on the rough road, for a road of an ancient and\nimperfect kind there was, I held down my head and slept.", "Again I waked\nwith a sense of guilt and of time passed, and found Madam Mina still\nsleeping, and the sun low down.", "But all was indeed changed; the frowning\nmountains seemed further away, and we were near the top of a\nsteep-rising hill, on summit of which was such a castle as Jonathan tell\nof in his diary.", "At once I exulted and feared; for now, for good or ill,\nthe end was near.", "I woke Madam Mina, and again tried to hypnotise her; but alas!", "unavailing till too late.", "Then, ere the great dark came upon us--for\neven after down-sun the heavens reflected the gone sun on the snow, and\nall was for a time in a great twilight--I took out the horses and fed\nthem in what shelter I could.", "Then I make a fire; and near it I make\nMadam Mina, now awake and more charming than ever, sit comfortable amid\nher rugs.", "I got ready food: but she would not eat, simply saying that\nshe had not hunger.", "I did not press her, knowing her unavailingness.", "But\nI myself eat, for I must needs now be strong for all.", "Then, with the\nfear on me of what might be, I drew a ring so big for her comfort, round\nwhere Madam Mina sat; and over the ring I passed some of the wafer, and\nI broke it fine so that all was well guarded.", "She sat still all the\ntime--so still as one dead; and she grew whiter and ever whiter till the\nsnow was not more pale; and no word she said.", "But when I drew near, she\nclung to me, and I could know that the poor soul shook her from head to\nfeet with a tremor that was pain to feel.", "I said to her presently, when\nshe had grown more quiet:--\n\n\"Will you not come over to the fire?\"", "for I wished to make a test of\nwhat she could.", "She rose obedient, but when she have made a step she\nstopped, and stood as one stricken.", "\"Why not go on?\"", "I asked.", "She shook her head, and, coming back, sat\ndown in her place.", "Then, looking at me with open eyes, as of one waked\nfrom sleep, she said simply:--\n\n\"I cannot!\"", "and remained silent.", "I rejoiced, for I knew that what she\ncould not, none of those that we dreaded could.", "Though there might be\ndanger to her body, yet her soul was safe!", "Presently the horses began to scream, and tore at their tethers till I\ncame to them and quieted them.", "When they did feel my hands on them, they\nwhinnied low as in joy, and licked at my hands and were quiet for a\ntime.", "Many times through the night did I come to them, till it arrive to\nthe cold hour when all nature is at lowest; and every time my coming was\nwith quiet of them.", "In the cold hour the fire began to die, and I was\nabout stepping forth to replenish it, for now the snow came in flying\nsweeps and with it a chill mist.", "Even in the dark there was a light of\nsome kind, as there ever is over snow; and it seemed as though the\nsnow-flurries and the wreaths of mist took shape as of women with\ntrailing garments.", "All was in dead, grim silence only that the horses\nwhinnied and cowered, as if in terror of the worst.", "I began to\nfear--horrible fears; but then came to me the sense of safety in that\nring wherein I stood.", "I began, too, to think that my imaginings were of\nthe night, and the gloom, and the unrest that I have gone through, and\nall the terrible anxiety.", "It was as though my memories of all Jonathan's\nhorrid experience were befooling me; for the snow flakes and the mist\nbegan to wheel and circle round, till I could get as though a shadowy\nglimpse of those women that would have kissed him.", "And then the horses\ncowered lower and lower, and moaned in terror as men do in pain.", "Even\nthe madness of fright was not to them, so that they could break away.", "I\nfeared for my dear Madam Mina when these weird figures drew near and\ncircled round.", "I looked at her, but she sat calm, and smiled at me; when\nI would have stepped to the fire to replenish it, she caught me and held\nme back, and whispered, like a voice that one hears in a dream, so low\nit was:--\n\n\"No!", "No!", "Do not go without.", "Here you are safe!\"", "I turned to her, and\nlooking in her eyes, said:--\n\n\"But you?", "It is for you that I fear!\"", "whereat she laughed--a laugh, low\nand unreal, and said:--\n\n\"Fear for _me_!", "Why fear for me?", "None safer in all the world from them\nthan I am,\" and as I wondered at the meaning of her words, a puff of\nwind made the flame leap up, and I see the red scar on her forehead.", "Then, alas!", "I knew.", "Did I not, I would soon have learned, for the\nwheeling figures of mist and snow came closer, but keeping ever without\nthe Holy circle.", "Then they began to materialise till--if God have not\ntake away my reason, for I saw it through my eyes--there were before me\nin actual flesh the same three women that Jonathan saw in the room, when\nthey would have kissed his throat.", "I knew the swaying round forms, the\nbright hard eyes, the white teeth, the ruddy colour, the voluptuous\nlips.", "They smiled ever at poor dear Madam Mina; and as their laugh came\nthrough the silence of the night, they twined their arms and pointed to\nher, and said in those so sweet tingling tones that Jonathan said were\nof the intolerable sweetness of the water-glasses:--\n\n\"Come, sister.", "Come to us.", "Come!", "Come!\"", "In fear I turned to my poor\nMadam Mina, and my heart with gladness leapt like flame; for oh!", "the\nterror in her sweet eyes, the repulsion, the horror, told a story to my\nheart that was all of hope.", "God be thanked she was not, yet, of them.", "I\nseized some of the firewood which was by me, and holding out some of the\nWafer, advanced on them towards the fire.", "They drew back before me, and\nlaughed their low horrid laugh.", "I fed the fire, and feared them not; for\nI knew that we were safe within our protections.", "They could not\napproach, me, whilst so armed, nor Madam Mina whilst she remained within\nthe ring, which she could not leave no more than they could enter.", "The\nhorses had ceased to moan, and lay still on the ground; the snow fell on\nthem softly, and they grew whiter.", "I knew that there was for the poor\nbeasts no more of terror.", "And so we remained till the red of the dawn to fall through the\nsnow-gloom.", "I was desolate and afraid, and full of woe and terror; but\nwhen that beautiful sun began to climb the horizon life was to me again.", "At the first coming of the dawn the horrid figures melted in the\nwhirling mist and snow; the wreaths of transparent gloom moved away\ntowards the castle, and were lost.", "Instinctively, with the dawn coming, I turned to Madam Mina, intending\nto hypnotise her; but she lay in a deep and sudden sleep, from which I\ncould not wake her.", "I tried to hypnotise through her sleep, but she made\nno response, none at all; and the day broke.", "I fear yet to stir.", "I have\nmade my fire and have seen the horses, they are all dead.", "To-day I have\nmuch to do here, and I keep waiting till the sun is up high; for there\nmay be places where I must go, where that sunlight, though snow and mist\nobscure it, will be to me a safety.", "I will strengthen me with breakfast, and then I will to my terrible\nwork.", "Madam Mina still sleeps; and, God be thanked!", "she is calm in her\nsleep....\n\n\n_Jonathan Harker's Journal._\n\n_4 November, evening._--The accident to the launch has been a terrible\nthing for us.", "Only for it we should have overtaken the boat long ago;\nand by now my dear Mina would have been free.", "I fear to think of her,\noff on the wolds near that horrid place.", "We have got horses, and we\nfollow on the track.", "I note this whilst Godalming is getting ready.", "We\nhave our arms.", "The Szgany must look out if they mean fight.", "Oh, if only\nMorris and Seward were with us.", "We must only hope!", "If I write no more\nGood-bye, Mina!", "God bless and keep you.", "_Dr.", "Seward's Diary._\n\n_5 November._--With the dawn we saw the body of Szgany before us dashing\naway from the river with their leiter-wagon.", "They surrounded it in a\ncluster, and hurried along as though beset.", "The snow is falling lightly\nand there is a strange excitement in the air.", "It may be our own\nfeelings, but the depression is strange.", "Far off I hear the howling of\nwolves; the snow brings them down from the mountains, and there are\ndangers to all of us, and from all sides.", "The horses are nearly ready,\nand we are soon off.", "We ride to death of some one.", "God alone knows who,\nor where, or what, or when, or how it may be....\n\n\n_Dr.", "Van Helsing's Memorandum._\n\n_5 November, afternoon._--I am at least sane.", "Thank God for that mercy\nat all events, though the proving it has been dreadful.", "When I left\nMadam Mina sleeping within the Holy circle, I took my way to the castle.", "The blacksmith hammer which I took in the carriage from Veresti was\nuseful; though the doors were all open I broke them off the rusty\nhinges, lest some ill-intent or ill-chance should close them, so that\nbeing entered I might not get out.", "Jonathan's bitter experience served\nme here.", "By memory of his diary I found my way to the old chapel, for I\nknew that here my work lay.", "The air was oppressive; it seemed as if\nthere was some sulphurous fume, which at times made me dizzy.", "Either\nthere was a roaring in my ears or I heard afar off the howl of wolves.", "Then I bethought me of my dear Madam Mina, and I was in terrible plight.", "The dilemma had me between his horns.", "Her, I had not dare to take into this place, but left safe from the\nVampire in that Holy circle; and yet even there would be the wolf!", "I\nresolve me that my work lay here, and that as to the wolves we must\nsubmit, if it were God's will.", "At any rate it was only death and\nfreedom beyond.", "So did I choose for her.", "Had it but been for myself the\nchoice had been easy, the maw of the wolf were better to rest in than\nthe grave of the Vampire!", "So I make my choice to go on with my work.", "I knew that there were at least three graves to find--graves that are\ninhabit; so I search, and search, and I find one of them.", "She lay in her\nVampire sleep, so full of life and voluptuous beauty that I shudder as\nthough I have come to do murder.", "Ah, I doubt not that in old time, when\nsuch things were, many a man who set forth to do such a task as mine,\nfound at the last his heart fail him, and then his nerve.", "So he delay,\nand delay, and delay, till the mere beauty and the fascination of the\nwanton Un-Dead have hypnotise him; and he remain on and on, till sunset\ncome, and the Vampire sleep be over.", "Then the beautiful eyes of the fair\nwoman open and look love, and the voluptuous mouth present to a\nkiss--and man is weak.", "And there remain one more victim in the Vampire\nfold; one more to swell the grim and grisly ranks of the Un-Dead!...", "There is some fascination, surely, when I am moved by the mere presence\nof such an one, even lying as she lay in a tomb fretted with age and\nheavy with the dust of centuries, though there be that horrid odour such\nas the lairs of the Count have had.", "Yes, I was moved--I, Van Helsing,\nwith all my purpose and with my motive for hate--I was moved to a\nyearning for delay which seemed to paralyse my faculties and to clog my\nvery soul.", "It may have been that the need of natural sleep, and the\nstrange oppression of the air were beginning to overcome me.", "Certain it\nwas that I was lapsing into sleep, the open-eyed sleep of one who yields\nto a sweet fascination, when there came through the snow-stilled air a\nlong, low wail, so full of woe and pity that it woke me like the sound\nof a clarion.", "For it was the voice of my dear Madam Mina that I heard.", "Then I braced myself again to my horrid task, and found by wrenching\naway tomb-tops one other of the sisters, the other dark one.", "I dared not\npause to look on her as I had on her sister, lest once more I should\nbegin to be enthrall; but I go on searching until, presently, I find in\na high great tomb as if made to one much beloved that other fair sister\nwhich, like Jonathan I had seen to gather herself out of the atoms of\nthe mist.", "She was so fair to look on, so radiantly beautiful, so\nexquisitely voluptuous, that the very instinct of man in me, which calls\nsome of my sex to love and to protect one of hers, made my head whirl\nwith new emotion.", "But God be thanked, that soul-wail of my dear Madam\nMina had not died out of my ears; and, before the spell could be wrought\nfurther upon me, I had nerved myself to my wild work.", "By this time I had\nsearched all the tombs in the chapel, so far as I could tell; and as\nthere had been only three of these Un-Dead phantoms around us in the\nnight, I took it that there were no more of active Un-Dead existent.", "There was one great tomb more lordly than all the rest; huge it was, and\nnobly proportioned.", "On it was but one word\n\n DRACULA.", "This then was the Un-Dead home of the King-Vampire, to whom so many more\nwere due.", "Its emptiness spoke eloquent to make certain what I knew.", "Before I began to restore these women to their dead selves through my\nawful work, I laid in Dracula's tomb some of the Wafer, and so banished\nhim from it, Un-Dead, for ever.", "Then began my terrible task, and I dreaded it.", "Had it been but one, it\nhad been easy, comparative.", "But three!", "To begin twice more after I had\nbeen through a deed of horror; for if it was terrible with the sweet\nMiss Lucy, what would it not be with these strange ones who had survived\nthrough centuries, and who had been strengthened by the passing of the\nyears; who would, if they could, have fought for their foul lives....\n\nOh, my friend John, but it was butcher work; had I not been nerved by\nthoughts of other dead, and of the living over whom hung such a pall of\nfear, I could not have gone on.", "I tremble and tremble even yet, though\ntill all was over, God be thanked, my nerve did stand.", "Had I not seen\nthe repose in the first place, and the gladness that stole over it just\nere the final dissolution came, as realisation that the soul had been\nwon, I could not have gone further with my butchery.", "I could not have\nendured the horrid screeching as the stake drove home; the plunging of\nwrithing form, and lips of bloody foam.", "I should have fled in terror and\nleft my work undone.", "But it is over!", "And the poor souls, I can pity them\nnow and weep, as I think of them placid each in her full sleep of death\nfor a short moment ere fading.", "For, friend John, hardly had my knife\nsevered the head of each, before the whole body began to melt away and\ncrumble in to its native dust, as though the death that should have come\ncenturies agone had at last assert himself and say at once and loud \"I\nam here!\"", "Before I left the castle I so fixed its entrances that never more can\nthe Count enter there Un-Dead.", "When I stepped into the circle where Madam Mina slept, she woke from her\nsleep, and, seeing, me, cried out in pain that I had endured too much.", "\"Come!\"", "she said, \"come away from this awful place!", "Let us go to meet my\nhusband who is, I know, coming towards us.\"", "She was looking thin and\npale and weak; but her eyes were pure and glowed with fervour.", "I was\nglad to see her paleness and her illness, for my mind was full of the\nfresh horror of that ruddy vampire sleep.", "And so with trust and hope, and yet full of fear, we go eastward to meet\nour friends--and _him_--whom Madam Mina tell me that she _know_ are\ncoming to meet us.", "_Mina Harker's Journal._\n\n_6 November._--It was late in the afternoon when the Professor and I\ntook our way towards the east whence I knew Jonathan was coming.", "We did\nnot go fast, though the way was steeply downhill, for we had to take\nheavy rugs and wraps with us; we dared not face the possibility of being\nleft without warmth in the cold and the snow.", "We had to take some of our\nprovisions, too, for we were in a perfect desolation, and, so far as we\ncould see through the snowfall, there was not even the sign of\nhabitation.", "When we had gone about a mile, I was tired with the heavy\nwalking and sat down to rest.", "Then we looked back and saw where the\nclear line of Dracula's castle cut the sky; for we were so deep under\nthe hill whereon it was set that the angle of perspective of the\nCarpathian mountains was far below it.", "We saw it in all its grandeur,\nperched a thousand feet on the summit of a sheer precipice, and with\nseemingly a great gap between it and the steep of the adjacent mountain\non any side.", "There was something wild and uncanny about the place.", "We\ncould hear the distant howling of wolves.", "They were far off, but the\nsound, even though coming muffled through the deadening snowfall, was\nfull of terror.", "I knew from the way Dr. Van Helsing was searching about\nthat he was trying to seek some strategic point, where we would be less\nexposed in case of attack.", "The rough roadway still led downwards; we\ncould trace it through the drifted snow.", "In a little while the Professor signalled to me, so I got up and joined\nhim.", "He had found a wonderful spot, a sort of natural hollow in a rock,\nwith an entrance like a doorway between two boulders.", "He took me by the\nhand and drew me in: \"See!\"", "he said, \"here you will be in shelter; and\nif the wolves do come I can meet them one by one.\"", "He brought in our\nfurs, and made a snug nest for me, and got out some provisions and\nforced them upon me.", "But I could not eat; to even try to do so was\nrepulsive to me, and, much as I would have liked to please him, I could\nnot bring myself to the attempt.", "He looked very sad, but did not\nreproach me.", "Taking his field-glasses from the case, he stood on the top\nof the rock, and began to search the horizon.", "Suddenly he called out:--\n\n\"Look!", "Madam Mina, look!", "look!\"", "I sprang up and stood beside him on the\nrock; he handed me his glasses and pointed.", "The snow was now falling\nmore heavily, and swirled about fiercely, for a high wind was beginning\nto blow.", "However, there were times when there were pauses between the\nsnow flurries and I could see a long way round.", "From the height where we\nwere it was possible to see a great distance; and far off, beyond the\nwhite waste of snow, I could see the river lying like a black ribbon in\nkinks and curls as it wound its way.", "Straight in front of us and not far\noff--in fact, so near that I wondered we had not noticed before--came a\ngroup of mounted men hurrying along.", "In the midst of them was a cart, a\nlong leiter-wagon which swept from side to side, like a dog's tail\nwagging, with each stern inequality of the road.", "Outlined against the\nsnow as they were, I could see from the men's clothes that they were\npeasants or gypsies of some kind.", "On the cart was a great square chest.", "My heart leaped as I saw it, for I\nfelt that the end was coming.", "The evening was now drawing close, and\nwell I knew that at sunset the Thing, which was till then imprisoned\nthere, would take new freedom and could in any of many forms elude all\npursuit.", "In fear I turned to the Professor; to my consternation,\nhowever, he was not there.", "An instant later, I saw him below me.", "Round\nthe rock he had drawn a circle, such as we had found shelter in last\nnight.", "When he had completed it he stood beside me again, saying:--\n\n\"At least you shall be safe here from _him_!\"", "He took the glasses from\nme, and at the next lull of the snow swept the whole space below us.", "\"See,\" he said, \"they come quickly; they are flogging the horses, and\ngalloping as hard as they can.\"", "He paused and went on in a hollow\nvoice:--\n\n\"They are racing for the sunset.", "We may be too late.", "God's will be\ndone!\"", "Down came another blinding rush of driving snow, and the whole\nlandscape was blotted out.", "It soon passed, however, and once more his\nglasses were fixed on the plain.", "Then came a sudden cry:--\n\n\"Look!", "Look!", "Look!", "See, two horsemen follow fast, coming up from the\nsouth.", "It must be Quincey and John.", "Take the glass.", "Look before the snow\nblots it all out!\"", "I took it and looked.", "The two men might be Dr. Seward\nand Mr. Morris.", "I knew at all events that neither of them was Jonathan.", "At the same time I _knew_ that Jonathan was not far off; looking around\nI saw on the north side of the coming party two other men, riding at\nbreak-neck speed.", "One of them I knew was Jonathan, and the other I took,\nof course, to be Lord Godalming.", "They, too, were pursuing the party with\nthe cart.", "When I told the Professor he shouted in glee like a schoolboy,\nand, after looking intently till a snow fall made sight impossible, he\nlaid his Winchester rifle ready for use against the boulder at the\nopening of our shelter.", "\"They are all converging,\" he said.", "\"When the\ntime comes we shall have gypsies on all sides.\"", "I got out my revolver\nready to hand, for whilst we were speaking the howling of wolves came\nlouder and closer.", "When the snow storm abated a moment we looked again.", "It was strange to see the snow falling in such heavy flakes close to us,\nand beyond, the sun shining more and more brightly as it sank down\ntowards the far mountain tops.", "Sweeping the glass all around us I could\nsee here and there dots moving singly and in twos and threes and larger\nnumbers--the wolves were gathering for their prey.", "Every instant seemed an age whilst we waited.", "The wind came now in\nfierce bursts, and the snow was driven with fury as it swept upon us in\ncircling eddies.", "At times we could not see an arm's length before us;\nbut at others, as the hollow-sounding wind swept by us, it seemed to\nclear the air-space around us so that we could see afar off.", "We had of\nlate been so accustomed to watch for sunrise and sunset, that we knew\nwith fair accuracy when it would be; and we knew that before long the\nsun would set.", "It was hard to believe that by our watches it was less\nthan an hour that we waited in that rocky shelter before the various\nbodies began to converge close upon us.", "The wind came now with fiercer\nand more bitter sweeps, and more steadily from the north.", "It seemingly\nhad driven the snow clouds from us, for, with only occasional bursts,\nthe snow fell.", "We could distinguish clearly the individuals of each\nparty, the pursued and the pursuers.", "Strangely enough those pursued did\nnot seem to realise, or at least to care, that they were pursued; they\nseemed, however, to hasten with redoubled speed as the sun dropped lower\nand lower on the mountain tops.", "Closer and closer they drew.", "The Professor and I crouched down behind\nour rock, and held our weapons ready; I could see that he was determined\nthat they should not pass.", "One and all were quite unaware of our\npresence.", "All at once two voices shouted out to: \"Halt!\"", "One was my Jonathan's,\nraised in a high key of passion; the other Mr. Morris' strong resolute\ntone of quiet command.", "The gypsies may not have known the language, but\nthere was no mistaking the tone, in whatever tongue the words were\nspoken.", "Instinctively they reined in, and at the instant Lord Godalming\nand Jonathan dashed up at one side and Dr. Seward and Mr. Morris on the\nother.", "The leader of the gypsies, a splendid-looking fellow who sat his\nhorse like a centaur, waved them back, and in a fierce voice gave to his\ncompanions some word to proceed.", "They lashed the horses which sprang\nforward; but the four men raised their Winchester rifles, and in an\nunmistakable way commanded them to stop.", "At the same moment Dr. Van\nHelsing and I rose behind the rock and pointed our weapons at them.", "Seeing that they were surrounded the men tightened their reins and drew\nup.", "The leader turned to them and gave a word at which every man of the\ngypsy party drew what weapon he carried, knife or pistol, and held\nhimself in readiness to attack.", "Issue was joined in an instant.", "The leader, with a quick movement of his rein, threw his horse out in\nfront, and pointing first to the sun--now close down on the hill\ntops--and then to the castle, said something which I did not understand.", "For answer, all four men of our party threw themselves from their horses\nand dashed towards the cart.", "I should have felt terrible fear at seeing\nJonathan in such danger, but that the ardour of battle must have been\nupon me as well as the rest of them; I felt no fear, but only a wild,\nsurging desire to do something.", "Seeing the quick movement of our\nparties, the leader of the gypsies gave a command; his men instantly\nformed round the cart in a sort of undisciplined endeavour, each one\nshouldering and pushing the other in his eagerness to carry out the\norder.", "In the midst of this I could see that Jonathan on one side of the ring\nof men, and Quincey on the other, were forcing a way to the cart; it was\nevident that they were bent on finishing their task before the sun\nshould set.", "Nothing seemed to stop or even to hinder them.", "Neither the\nlevelled weapons nor the flashing knives of the gypsies in front, nor\nthe howling of the wolves behind, appeared to even attract their\nattention.", "Jonathan's impetuosity, and the manifest singleness of his\npurpose, seemed to overawe those in front of him; instinctively they\ncowered, aside and let him pass.", "In an instant he had jumped upon the\ncart, and, with a strength which seemed incredible, raised the great\nbox, and flung it over the wheel to the ground.", "In the meantime, Mr.\nMorris had had to use force to pass through his side of the ring of\nSzgany.", "All the time I had been breathlessly watching Jonathan I had,\nwith the tail of my eye, seen him pressing desperately forward, and had\nseen the knives of the gypsies flash as he won a way through them, and\nthey cut at him.", "He had parried with his great bowie knife, and at first\nI thought that he too had come through in safety; but as he sprang\nbeside Jonathan, who had by now jumped from the cart, I could see that\nwith his left hand he was clutching at his side, and that the blood was\nspurting through his fingers.", "He did not delay notwithstanding this, for\nas Jonathan, with desperate energy, attacked one end of the chest,\nattempting to prize off the lid with his great Kukri knife, he attacked\nthe other frantically with his bowie.", "Under the efforts of both men the\nlid began to yield; the nails drew with a quick screeching sound, and\nthe top of the box was thrown back.", "By this time the gypsies, seeing themselves covered by the Winchesters,\nand at the mercy of Lord Godalming and Dr. Seward, had given in and made\nno resistance.", "The sun was almost down on the mountain tops, and the\nshadows of the whole group fell long upon the snow.", "I saw the Count\nlying within the box upon the earth, some of which the rude falling from\nthe cart had scattered over him.", "He was deathly pale, just like a waxen\nimage, and the red eyes glared with the horrible vindictive look which I\nknew too well.", "As I looked, the eyes saw the sinking sun, and the look of hate in them\nturned to triumph.", "But, on the instant, came the sweep and flash of Jonathan's great knife.", "I shrieked as I saw it shear through the throat; whilst at the same\nmoment Mr. Morris's bowie knife plunged into the heart.", "It was like a miracle; but before our very eyes, and almost in the\ndrawing of a breath, the whole body crumble into dust and passed from\nour sight.", "I shall be glad as long as I live that even in that moment of final\ndissolution, there was in the face a look of peace, such as I never\ncould have imagined might have rested there.", "The Castle of Dracula now stood out against the red sky, and every stone\nof its broken battlements was articulated against the light of the\nsetting sun.", "The gypsies, taking us as in some way the cause of the extraordinary\ndisappearance of the dead man, turned, without a word, and rode away as\nif for their lives.", "Those who were unmounted jumped upon the\nleiter-wagon and shouted to the horsemen not to desert them.", "The wolves,\nwhich had withdrawn to a safe distance, followed in their wake, leaving\nus alone.", "Mr. Morris, who had sunk to the ground, leaned on his elbow, holding his\nhand pressed to his side; the blood still gushed through his fingers.", "I\nflew to him, for the Holy circle did not now keep me back; so did the\ntwo doctors.", "Jonathan knelt behind him and the wounded man laid back his\nhead on his shoulder.", "With a sigh he took, with a feeble effort, my hand\nin that of his own which was unstained.", "He must have seen the anguish of\nmy heart in my face, for he smiled at me and said:--\n\n\"I am only too happy to have been of any service!", "Oh, God!\"", "he cried\nsuddenly, struggling up to a sitting posture and pointing to me, \"It was\nworth for this to die!", "Look!", "look!\"", "The sun was now right down upon the mountain top, and the red gleams\nfell upon my face, so that it was bathed in rosy light.", "With one impulse\nthe men sank on their knees and a deep and earnest \"Amen\" broke from all\nas their eyes followed the pointing of his finger.", "The dying man\nspoke:--\n\n\"Now God be thanked that all has not been in vain!", "See!", "the snow is not\nmore stainless than her forehead!", "The curse has passed away!\"", "And, to our bitter grief, with a smile and in silence, he died, a\ngallant gentleman." ]

[ "Oh, what\nwill to-morrow bring to us?", "She sleeps, and sleeps, and sleeps!", "So we came down this road; when we meet other ways--not always were we\nsure that they were roads at all, for they be neglect and light snow\nhave fallen--the horses know and they only.", "Come to us.", "The blacksmith hammer which I took in the carriage from Veresti was\nuseful; though the doors were all open I broke them off the rusty\nhinges, lest some ill-intent or ill-chance should close them, so that\nbeing entered I might not get out.", "But three!", "Straight in front of us and not far\noff--in fact, so near that I wondered we had not noticed before--came a\ngroup of mounted men hurrying along.", "\"They are all converging,\" he said.", "The wolves,\nwhich had withdrawn to a safe distance, followed in their wake, leaving\nus alone.", "Mr. Morris, who had sunk to the ground, leaned on his elbow, holding his\nhand pressed to his side; the blood still gushed through his fingers." ]

[ "Again I waked\nwith a sense of guilt and of time passed, and found Madam Mina still\nsleeping, and the sun low down.", "But she sleep not, being as\nthough I were not.", "The\nhorses had ceased to moan, and lay still on the ground; the snow fell on\nthem softly, and they grew whiter.", "I\nseized some of the firewood which was by me, and holding out some of the\nWafer, advanced on them towards the fire.", "On it was but one word\n\n DRACULA.", "The gypsies may not have known the language, but\nthere was no mistaking the tone, in whatever tongue the words were\nspoken.", "whereat she laughed--a laugh, low\nand unreal, and said:--\n\n\"Fear for _me_!", "Why fear for me?", "They smiled ever at poor dear Madam Mina; and as their laugh came\nthrough the silence of the night, they twined their arms and pointed to\nher, and said in those so sweet tingling tones that Jonathan said were\nof the intolerable sweetness of the water-glasses:--\n\n\"Come, sister.", "I was desolate and afraid, and full of woe and terror; but\nwhen that beautiful sun began to climb the horizon life was to me again." ]

[ "Oh, if only\nMorris and Seward were with us.", "We must only hope!", "If I write no more\nGood-bye, Mina!", "God bless and keep you.", "_Dr.", "Seward's Diary._\n\n_5 November._--With the dawn we saw the body of Szgany before us dashing\naway from the river with their leiter-wagon.", "They surrounded it in a\ncluster, and hurried along as though beset.", "The snow is falling lightly\nand there is a strange excitement in the air.", "It may be our own\nfeelings, but the depression is strange.", "Far off I hear the howling of\nwolves; the snow brings them down from the mountains, and there are\ndangers to all of us, and from all sides.", "The horses are nearly ready,\nand we are soon off." ]

[ "\n_1 November._--All day long we have travelled, and at a good speed.", "The\nhorses seem to know that they are being kindly treated, for they go\nwillingly their full stage at best speed.", "We have now had so many\nchanges and find the same thing so constantly that we are encouraged to\nthink that the journey will be an easy one.", "Dr. Van Helsing is laconic;\nhe tells the farmers that he is hurrying to Bistritz, and pays them well\nto make the exchange of horses.", "We get hot soup, or coffee, or tea; and\noff we go.", "It is a lovely country; full of beauties of all imaginable\nkinds, and the people are brave, and strong, and simple, and seem full\nof nice qualities.", "They are _very, very_ superstitious.", "In the first\nhouse where we stopped, when the woman who served us saw the scar on my\nforehead, she crossed herself and put out two fingers towards me, to\nkeep off the evil eye.", "I believe they went to the trouble of putting an\nextra amount of garlic into our food; and I can't abide garlic.", "Ever\nsince then I have taken care not to take off my hat or veil, and so have\nescaped their suspicions.", "he cried\nsuddenly, struggling up to a sitting posture and pointing to me, \"It was\nworth for this to die!", "Look!", "look!\"", "The sun was now right down upon the mountain top, and the red gleams\nfell upon my face, so that it was bathed in rosy light.", "With one impulse\nthe men sank on their knees and a deep and earnest \"Amen\" broke from all\nas their eyes followed the pointing of his finger.", "The dying man\nspoke:--\n\n\"Now God be thanked that all has not been in vain!", "See!", "the snow is not\nmore stainless than her forehead!", "The curse has passed away!\"", "And, to our bitter grief, with a smile and in silence, he died, a\ngallant gentleman." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "It\ncontained a bookcase: I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care\nthat it should be one stored with pictures.", "I mounted into the window-\nseat: gathering up my feet, I sat cross-legged, like a Turk; and, having\ndrawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in double\nretirement.", "Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the right hand; to the left\nwere the clear panes of glass, protecting, but not separating me from the\ndrear November day.", "At intervals, while turning over the leaves of my\nbook, I studied the aspect of that winter afternoon.", "Afar, it offered a\npale blank of mist and cloud; near a scene of wet lawn and storm-beat\nshrub, with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and\nlamentable blast.", "I returned to my book--Bewick's History of British Birds: the letterpress\nthereof I cared little for, generally speaking; and yet there were\ncertain introductory pages that, child as I was, I could not pass quite\nas a blank.", "They were those which treat of the haunts of sea-fowl; of\n\"the solitary rocks and promontories\" by them only inhabited; of the\ncoast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern extremity, the\nLindeness, or Naze, to the North Cape--\n\n \"Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,\n Boils round the naked, melancholy isles\n Of farthest Thule; and the Atlantic surge\n Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.\"", "Nor could I pass unnoticed the suggestion of the bleak shores of Lapland,\nSiberia, Spitzbergen, Nova Zembla, Iceland, Greenland, with \"the vast\nsweep of the Arctic Zone, and those forlorn regions of dreary space,--that\nreservoir of frost and snow, where firm fields of ice, the accumulation\nof centuries of winters, glazed in Alpine heights above heights, surround\nthe pole, and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold.\"", "Of\nthese death-white realms I formed an idea of my own: shadowy, like all\nthe half-comprehended notions that float dim through children's brains,\nbut strangely impressive.", "The words in these introductory pages\nconnected themselves with the succeeding vignettes, and gave significance\nto the rock standing up alone in a sea of billow and spray; to the broken\nboat stranded on a desolate coast; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing\nthrough bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking.", "I cannot tell what sentiment haunted the quite solitary churchyard, with\nits inscribed headstone; its gate, its two trees, its low horizon,\ngirdled by a broken wall, and its newly-risen crescent, attesting the\nhour of eventide.", "The two ships becalmed on a torpid sea, I believed to be marine phantoms.", "The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind him, I passed over\nquickly: it was an object of terror.", "So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock, surveying a distant\ncrowd surrounding a gallows.", "Each picture told a story; mysterious often to my undeveloped\nunderstanding and imperfect feelings, yet ever profoundly interesting: as\ninteresting as the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings,\nwhen she chanced to be in good humour; and when, having brought her\nironing-table to the nursery hearth, she allowed us to sit about it, and\nwhile she got up Mrs. Reed's lace frills, and crimped her nightcap\nborders, fed our eager attention with passages of love and adventure\ntaken from old fairy tales and other ballads; or (as at a later period I\ndiscovered) from the pages of Pamela, and Henry, Earl of Moreland.", "With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy: happy at least in my way.", "I\nfeared nothing but interruption, and that came too soon.", "The breakfast-\nroom door opened.", "\"Boh!", "Madam Mope!\"", "cried the voice of John Reed; then he paused: he\nfound the room apparently empty.", "\"Where the dickens is she!\"", "he continued.", "\"Lizzy!", "Georgy!", "(calling to\nhis sisters) Joan is not here: tell mama she is run out into the rain--bad\nanimal!\"", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "And I came out immediately, for I trembled at the idea of being dragged\nforth by the said Jack.", "\"What do you want?\"", "I asked, with awkward diffidence.", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back.", "Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his chair: he spent some three\nminutes in thrusting out his tongue at me as far as he could without\ndamaging the roots: I knew he would soon strike, and while dreading the\nblow, I mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would\npresently deal it.", "I wonder if he read that notion in my face; for, all\nat once, without speaking, he struck suddenly and strongly.", "I tottered,\nand on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his\nchair.", "\"That is for your impudence in answering mama awhile since,\" said he,\n\"and for your sneaking way of getting behind curtains, and for the look\nyou had in your eyes two minutes since, you rat!\"", "Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it;\nmy care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the\ninsult.", "\"What were you doing behind the curtain?\"", "he asked.", "\"I was reading.\"", "\"Show the book.\"", "I returned to the window and fetched it thence.", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "Now, I'll teach you to\nrummage my bookshelves: for they _are_ mine; all the house belongs to me,\nor will do in a few years.", "Go and stand by the door, out of the way of\nthe mirror and the windows.\"", "I did so, not at first aware what was his intention; but when I saw him\nlift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it, I instinctively\nstarted aside with a cry of alarm: not soon enough, however; the volume\nwas flung, it hit me, and I fell, striking my head against the door and\ncutting it.", "The cut bled, the pain was sharp: my terror had passed its\nclimax; other feelings succeeded.", "\"Wicked and cruel boy!\"", "I said.", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"", "I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome, and had formed my opinion of\nNero, Caligula, etc.", "Also I had drawn parallels in silence, which I never\nthought thus to have declared aloud.", "\"What!", "what!\"", "he cried.", "\"Did she say that to me?", "Did you hear her,\nEliza and Georgiana?", "Won't I tell mama?", "but first--\"\n\nHe ran headlong at me: I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder: he had\nclosed with a desperate thing.", "I really saw in him a tyrant, a murderer.", "I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my neck, and was\nsensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations for the time\npredominated over fear, and I received him in frantic sort.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "They were those which treat of the haunts of sea-fowl; of\n\"the solitary rocks and promontories\" by them only inhabited; of the\ncoast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern extremity, the\nLindeness, or Naze, to the North Cape--\n\n \"Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,\n Boils round the naked, melancholy isles\n Of farthest Thule; and the Atlantic surge\n Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.\"", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "I wonder if he read that notion in my face; for, all\nat once, without speaking, he struck suddenly and strongly.", "he asked.", "\"Show the book.\"", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "I said.", "he cried.", "and\nbellowed out aloud." ]

[ "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "I tottered,\nand on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his\nchair.", "\"Did she say that to me?", "cried the voice of John Reed; then he paused: he\nfound the room apparently empty.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"", "\"Boh!", "he continued.", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner." ]

[ "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "Am I a servant?\"", "\"No; you are less than a servant, for you do nothing for your keep.", "There, sit down, and think over your wickedness.\"", "They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs. Reed,\nand had thrust me upon a stool: my impulse was to rise from it like a\nspring; their two pair of hands arrested me instantly.", "\"If you don't sit still, you must be tied down,\" said Bessie.", "\"Miss\nAbbot, lend me your garters; she would break mine directly.\"", "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "This\npreparation for bonds, and the additional ignominy it inferred, took a\nlittle of the excitement out of me.", "\"Don't take them off,\" I cried; \"I will not stir.\"", "In guarantee whereof, I attached myself to my seat by my hands.", "\"Mind you don't,\" said Bessie; and when she had ascertained that I was\nreally subsiding, she loosened her hold of me; then she and Miss Abbot\nstood with folded arms, looking darkly and doubtfully on my face, as\nincredulous of my sanity.", "\"She never did so before,\" at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.", "\"But it was always in her,\" was the reply.", "\"I've told Missis often my\nopinion about the child, and Missis agreed with me.", "She's an underhand\nlittle thing: I never saw a girl of her age with so much cover.\"", "Bessie answered not; but ere long, addressing me, she said--\"You ought to\nbe aware, Miss, that you are under obligations to Mrs. Reed: she keeps\nyou: if she were to turn you off, you would have to go to the poorhouse.\"", "I had nothing to say to these words: they were not new to me: my very\nfirst recollections of existence included hints of the same kind.", "This\nreproach of my dependence had become a vague sing-song in my ear: very\npainful and crushing, but only half intelligible.", "Miss Abbot joined in--\n\n\"And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses Reed\nand Master Reed, because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up with\nthem.", "They will have a great deal of money, and you will have none: it\nis your place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to\nthem.\"", "\"What we tell you is for your good,\" added Bessie, in no harsh voice,\n\"you should try to be useful and pleasant, then, perhaps, you would have\na home here; but if you become passionate and rude, Missis will send you\naway, I am sure.\"", "\"Besides,\" said Miss Abbot, \"God will punish her: He might strike her\ndead in the midst of her tantrums, and then where would she go?", "Come,\nBessie, we will leave her: I wouldn't have her heart for anything.", "Say\nyour prayers, Miss Eyre, when you are by yourself; for if you don't\nrepent, something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and\nfetch you away.\"", "They went, shutting the door, and locking it behind them.", "The red-room was a square chamber, very seldom slept in, I might say\nnever, indeed, unless when a chance influx of visitors at Gateshead Hall\nrendered it necessary to turn to account all the accommodation it\ncontained: yet it was one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the\nmansion.", "A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany, hung with\ncurtains of deep red damask, stood out like a tabernacle in the centre;\nthe two large windows, with their blinds always drawn down, were half\nshrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery; the carpet was red;\nthe table at the foot of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth; the\nwalls were a soft fawn colour with a blush of pink in it; the wardrobe,\nthe toilet-table, the chairs were of darkly polished old mahogany.", "Out\nof these deep surrounding shades rose high, and glared white, the piled-\nup mattresses and pillows of the bed, spread with a snowy Marseilles\ncounterpane.", "Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy-chair\nnear the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool before it; and\nlooking, as I thought, like a pale throne.", "This room was chill, because it seldom had a fire; it was silent, because\nremote from the nursery and kitchen; solemn, because it was known to be\nso seldom entered.", "The house-maid alone came here on Saturdays, to wipe\nfrom the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet dust: and Mrs. Reed\nherself, at far intervals, visited it to review the contents of a certain\nsecret drawer in the wardrobe, where were stored divers parchments, her\njewel-casket, and a miniature of her deceased husband; and in those last\nwords lies the secret of the red-room--the spell which kept it so lonely\nin spite of its grandeur.", "Mr. Reed had been dead nine years: it was in this chamber he breathed his\nlast; here he lay in state; hence his coffin was borne by the\nundertaker's men; and, since that day, a sense of dreary consecration had\nguarded it from frequent intrusion.", "My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me riveted,\nwas a low ottoman near the marble chimney-piece; the bed rose before me;\nto my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe, with subdued, broken\nreflections varying the gloss of its panels; to my left were the muffled\nwindows; a great looking-glass between them repeated the vacant majesty\nof the bed and room.", "I was not quite sure whether they had locked the\ndoor; and when I dared move, I got up and went to see.", "Alas!", "yes: no\njail was ever more secure.", "Returning, I had to cross before the looking-\nglass; my fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed.", "All looked colder and darker in that visionary hollow than in reality:\nand the strange little figure there gazing at me, with a white face and\narms specking the gloom, and glittering eyes of fear moving where all\nelse was still, had the effect of a real spirit: I thought it like one of\nthe tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening stories\nrepresented as coming out of lone, ferny dells in moors, and appearing\nbefore the eyes of belated travellers.", "I returned to my stool.", "Superstition was with me at that moment; but it was not yet her hour for\ncomplete victory: my blood was still warm; the mood of the revolted slave\nwas still bracing me with its bitter vigour; I had to stem a rapid rush\nof retrospective thought before I quailed to the dismal present.", "All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud indifference,\nall his mother's aversion, all the servants' partiality, turned up in my\ndisturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well.", "Why was I always\nsuffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned?", "Why\ncould I never please?", "Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?", "Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was respected.", "Georgiana, who had\na spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,\nwas universally indulged.", "Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls,\nseemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to purchase\nindemnity for every fault.", "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them.", "They were not\nbound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one\namongst them; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to them in temperament, in\ncapacity, in propensities; a useless thing, incapable of serving their\ninterest, or adding to their pleasure; a noxious thing, cherishing the\ngerms of indignation at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment.", "I\nknow that had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting, handsome,\nromping child--though equally dependent and friendless--Mrs. Reed would\nhave endured my presence more complacently; her children would have\nentertained for me more of the cordiality of fellow-feeling; the servants\nwould have been less prone to make me the scapegoat of the nursery.", "Daylight began to forsake the red-room; it was past four o'clock, and the\nbeclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.", "I heard the rain\nstill beating continuously on the staircase window, and the wind howling\nin the grove behind the hall; I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then\nmy courage sank.", "My habitual mood of humiliation, self-doubt, forlorn\ndepression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying ire.", "All said I was\nwicked, and perhaps I might be so; what thought had I been but just\nconceiving of starving myself to death?", "That certainly was a crime: and\nwas I fit to die?", "Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church\nan inviting bourne?", "In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie\nburied; and led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with\ngathering dread.", "I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own\nuncle--my mother's brother--that he had taken me when a parentless infant\nto his house; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of\nMrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children.", "Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise; and so she had,\nI dare say, as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she\nreally like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her,\nafter her husband's death, by any tie?", "It must have been most irksome to\nfind herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a\nparent to a strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial\nalien permanently intruded on her own family group.", "A singular notion dawned upon me.", "I doubted not--never doubted--that if\nMr. Reed had been alive he would have treated me kindly; and now, as I\nsat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls--occasionally also\nturning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror--I began to\nrecall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the\nviolation of their last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the\nperjured and avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr. Reed's spirit,\nharassed by the wrongs of his sister's child, might quit its\nabode--whether in the church vault or in the unknown world of the\ndeparted--and rise before me in this chamber.", "I wiped my tears and\nhushed my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a\npreternatural voice to comfort me, or elicit from the gloom some haloed\nface, bending over me with strange pity.", "This idea, consolatory in\ntheory, I felt would be terrible if realised: with all my might I\nendeavoured to stifle it--I endeavoured to be firm.", "Shaking my hair from\nmy eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly round the dark room;\nat this moment a light gleamed on the wall.", "Was it, I asked myself, a\nray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind?", "No; moonlight\nwas still, and this stirred; while I gazed, it glided up to the ceiling\nand quivered over my head.", "I can now conjecture readily that this streak\nof light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some\none across the lawn: but then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken\nas my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift darting beam was a\nherald of some coming vision from another world.", "My heart beat thick, my\nhead grew hot; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed the rushing of\nwings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed, suffocated: endurance\nbroke down; I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort.", "Steps came running along the outer passage; the key turned, Bessie and\nAbbot entered.", "\"Miss Eyre, are you ill?\"", "said Bessie.", "\"What a dreadful noise!", "it went quite through me!\"", "exclaimed Abbot.", "\"Take me out!", "Let me go into the nursery!\"", "was my cry.", "\"What for?", "Are you hurt?", "Have you seen something?\"", "again demanded\nBessie.", "\"Oh!", "I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come.\"", "I had now got\nhold of Bessie's hand, and she did not snatch it from me.", "\"She has screamed out on purpose,\" declared Abbot, in some disgust.", "\"And\nwhat a scream!", "If she had been in great pain one would have excused it,\nbut she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.\"", "\"What is all this?\"", "demanded another voice peremptorily; and Mrs. Reed\ncame along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling stormily.", "\"Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave orders that Jane Eyre should be left\nin the red-room till I came to her myself.\"", "\"Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma'am,\" pleaded Bessie.", "\"Let her go,\" was the only answer.", "\"Loose Bessie's hand, child: you\ncannot succeed in getting out by these means, be assured.", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene." ]

[ "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "Alas!", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "Daylight began to forsake the red-room; it was past four o'clock, and the\nbeclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.", "Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church\nan inviting bourne?", "I doubted not--never doubted--that if\nMr. Reed had been alive he would have treated me kindly; and now, as I\nsat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls--occasionally also\nturning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror--I began to\nrecall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the\nviolation of their last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the\nperjured and avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr. Reed's spirit,\nharassed by the wrongs of his sister's child, might quit its\nabode--whether in the church vault or in the unknown world of the\ndeparted--and rise before me in this chamber.", "I can now conjecture readily that this streak\nof light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some\none across the lawn: but then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken\nas my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift darting beam was a\nherald of some coming vision from another world.", "Are you hurt?", "\"And\nwhat a scream!", "\"Let her go,\" was the only answer." ]

[ "\"Miss Eyre, are you ill?\"", "Bessie answered not; but ere long, addressing me, she said--\"You ought to\nbe aware, Miss, that you are under obligations to Mrs. Reed: she keeps\nyou: if she were to turn you off, you would have to go to the poorhouse.\"", "\"She never did so before,\" at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.", "it went quite through me!\"", "Georgiana, who had\na spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,\nwas universally indulged.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "Daylight began to forsake the red-room; it was past four o'clock, and the\nbeclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.", "If she had been in great pain one would have excused it,\nbut she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "demanded another voice peremptorily; and Mrs. Reed\ncame along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling stormily." ]

[ "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene." ]

[ "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand: he took it,\nsmiling and saying, \"We shall do very well by-and-by.\"", "Then he laid me\ndown, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was\nnot disturbed during the night.", "Having given some further directions,\nand intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed; to my\ngrief: I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near\nmy pillow; and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and\nmy heart again sank: inexpressible sadness weighed it down.", "\"Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?\"", "asked Bessie, rather softly.", "Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentence might be\nrough.", "\"I will try.\"", "\"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?\"", "\"No, thank you, Bessie.\"", "\"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you\nmay call me if you want anything in the night.\"", "Wonderful civility this!", "It emboldened me to ask a question.", "\"Bessie, what is the matter with me?", "Am I ill?\"", "\"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll be better\nsoon, no doubt.\"", "Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near.", "I heard her\nsay--\n\n\"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for my life be\nalone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it's such a strange\nthing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything.", "Missis was\nrather too hard.\"", "Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering\ntogether for half-an-hour before they fell asleep.", "I caught scraps of\ntheir conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer\nthe main subject discussed.", "\"Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished\"--\"A great\nblack dog behind him\"--\"Three loud raps on the chamber door\"--\"A light in\nthe churchyard just over his grave,\" etc., etc.", "At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out.", "For me, the\nwatches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness; strained by\ndread: such dread as children only can feel.", "No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red-\nroom; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to\nthis day.", "Yes, Mrs. Reed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental\nsuffering, but I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did:\nwhile rending my heart-strings, you thought you were only uprooting my\nbad propensities.", "Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped in a shawl by\nthe nursery hearth.", "I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse\nailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which\nkept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop\nfrom my cheek than another followed.", "Yet, I thought, I ought to have\nbeen happy, for none of the Reeds were there, they were all gone out in\nthe carriage with their mama.", "Abbot, too, was sewing in another room,\nand Bessie, as she moved hither and thither, putting away toys and\narranging drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted\nkindness.", "This state of things should have been to me a paradise of\npeace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless\nfagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no\ncalm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.", "Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought up with her a tart\non a certain brightly painted china plate, whose bird of paradise,\nnestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in\nme a most enthusiastic sense of admiration; and which plate I had often\npetitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more\nclosely, but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a\nprivilege.", "This precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I was\ncordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it.", "Vain\nfavour!", "coming, like most other favours long deferred and often wished\nfor, too late!", "I could not eat the tart; and the plumage of the bird,\nthe tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and\ntart away.", "Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word _book_ acted as\na transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch Gulliver's Travels from\nthe library.", "This book I had again and again perused with delight.", "I\nconsidered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a vein of\ninterest deeper than what I found in fairy tales: for as to the elves,\nhaving sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells, under\nmushrooms and beneath the ground-ivy mantling old wall-nooks, I had at\nlength made up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of\nEngland to some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker,\nand the population more scant; whereas, Lilliput and Brobdignag being, in\nmy creed, solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might\none day, by taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields,\nhouses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds\nof the one realm; and the corn-fields forest-high, the mighty mastiffs,\nthe monster cats, the tower-like men and women, of the other.", "Yet, when\nthis cherished volume was now placed in my hand--when I turned over its\nleaves, and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm I had, till now,\nnever failed to find--all was eerie and dreary; the giants were gaunt\ngoblins, the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps, Gulliver a most\ndesolate wanderer in most dread and dangerous regions.", "I closed the\nbook, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the\nuntasted tart.", "Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the room, and having washed\nher hands, she opened a certain little drawer, full of splendid shreds of\nsilk and satin, and began making a new bonnet for Georgiana's doll.", "Meantime she sang: her song was--\n\n \"In the days when we went gipsying,\n A long time ago.\"", "I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for\nBessie had a sweet voice,--at least, I thought so.", "But now, though her\nvoice was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescribable sadness.", "Sometimes, preoccupied with her work, she sang the refrain very low, very\nlingeringly; \"A long time ago\" came out like the saddest cadence of a\nfuneral hymn.", "She passed into another ballad, this time a really doleful\none.", "\"My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary;\n Long is the way, and the mountains are wild;\n Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary\n Over the path of the poor orphan child.", "Why did they send me so far and so lonely,\n Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled?", "Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only\n Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.", "Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing,\n Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild,\n God, in His mercy, protection is showing,\n Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.", "Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,\n Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,\n Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,\n Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.", "There is a thought that for strength should avail me,\n Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled;\n Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me;\n God is a friend to the poor orphan child.\"", "\"Come, Miss Jane, don't cry,\" said Bessie as she finished.", "She might as\nwell have said to the fire, \"don't burn!\"", "but how could she divine the\nmorbid suffering to which I was a prey?", "In the course of the morning Mr.\nLloyd came again.", "\"What, already up!\"", "said he, as he entered the nursery.", "\"Well, nurse,\nhow is she?\"", "Bessie answered that I was doing very well.", "\"Then she ought to look more cheerful.", "Come here, Miss Jane: your name\nis Jane, is it not?\"", "\"Yes, sir, Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre; can you tell me what about?", "Have you any pain?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Oh!", "I daresay she is crying because she could not go out with Missis in\nthe carriage,\" interposed Bessie.", "\"Surely not!", "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!", "Can't she manage to walk at her\nage?", "She must be eight or nine years old.\"", "\"I was knocked down,\" was the blunt explanation, jerked out of me by\nanother pang of mortified pride; \"but that did not make me ill,\" I added;\nwhile Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.", "As he was returning the box to his waistcoat pocket, a loud bell rang for\nthe servants' dinner; he knew what it was.", "\"That's for you, nurse,\" said\nhe; \"you can go down; I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till you come back.\"", "Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was obliged to go, because\npunctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at Gateshead Hall.", "\"The fall did not make you ill; what did, then?\"", "pursued Mr. Lloyd when\nBessie was gone.", "\"I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till after dark.\"", "I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time.", "\"Ghost!", "What, you are a baby after all!", "You are afraid of ghosts?\"", "\"Of Mr. Reed's ghost I am: he died in that room, and was laid out there.", "Neither Bessie nor any one else will go into it at night, if they can\nhelp it; and it was cruel to shut me up alone without a candle,--so cruel\nthat I think I shall never forget it.\"", "\"Nonsense!", "And is it that makes you so miserable?", "Are you afraid now in\ndaylight?\"", "\"No: but night will come again before long: and besides,--I am\nunhappy,--very unhappy, for other things.\"", "\"What other things?", "Can you tell me some of them?\"", "How much I wished to reply fully to this question!", "How difficult it was\nto frame any answer!", "Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their\nfeelings; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought, they know\nnot how to express the result of the process in words.", "Fearful, however,\nof losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by\nimparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre,\nthough, as far as it went, true response.", "\"For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters.\"", "\"You have a kind aunt and cousins.\"", "Again I paused; then bunglingly enounced--\n\n\"But John Reed knocked me down, and my aunt shut me up in the red-room.\"", "Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.", "\"Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful house?\"", "asked he.", "\"Are\nyou not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at?\"", "\"It is not my house, sir; and Abbot says I have less right to be here\nthan a servant.\"", "\"Pooh!", "you can't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place?\"", "\"If I had anywhere else to go, I should be glad to leave it; but I can\nnever get away from Gateshead till I am a woman.\"", "\"Perhaps you may--who knows?", "Have you any relations besides Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"I think not, sir.\"", "\"None belonging to your father?\"", "\"I don't know.", "I asked Aunt Reed once, and she said possibly I might\nhave some poor, low relations called Eyre, but she knew nothing about\nthem.\"", "\"If you had such, would you like to go to them?\"", "I reflected.", "Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to\nchildren: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable\npoverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes,\nscanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty\nfor me was synonymous with degradation.", "\"No; I should not like to belong to poor people,\" was my reply.", "\"Not even if they were kind to you?\"", "I shook my head: I could not see how poor people had the means of being\nkind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be\nuneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing\ntheir children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the\nvillage of Gateshead: no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at\nthe price of caste.", "\"But are your relatives so very poor?", "Are they working people?\"", "\"I cannot tell; Aunt Reed says if I have any, they must be a beggarly\nset: I should not like to go a begging.\"", "\"Would you like to go to school?\"", "Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes\nspoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore\nbackboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise: John\nReed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were\nno rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school-discipline (gathered\nfrom the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to\nGateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain\naccomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought,\nequally attractive.", "She boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and\nflowers by them executed; of songs they could sing and pieces they could\nplay, of purses they could net, of French books they could translate;\ntill my spirit was moved to emulation as I listened.", "Besides, school\nwould be a complete change: it implied a long journey, an entire\nseparation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new life.", "\"I should indeed like to go to school,\" was the audible conclusion of my\nmusings.", "\"Well, well!", "who knows what may happen?\"", "said Mr. Lloyd, as he got up.", "\"The child ought to have change of air and scene,\" he added, speaking to\nhimself; \"nerves not in a good state.\"", "Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up\nthe gravel-walk.", "\"Is that your mistress, nurse?\"", "asked Mr. Lloyd.", "\"I should like to speak\nto her before I go.\"", "Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-room, and led the way out.", "In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume,\nfrom after-occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my\nbeing sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough\nadopted; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie when\nboth sat sewing in the nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as\nthey thought, asleep, \"Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid\nof such a tiresome, ill-conditioned child, who always looked as if she\nwere watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand.\"", "Abbot, I think,\ngave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "asked Bessie, rather softly.", "At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out.", "No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red-\nroom; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to\nthis day.", "This state of things should have been to me a paradise of\npeace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless\nfagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no\ncalm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.", "Vain\nfavour!", "This book I had again and again perused with delight.", "I daresay she is crying because she could not go out with Missis in\nthe carriage,\" interposed Bessie.", "Can you tell me some of them?\"", "Reed?\"", "I asked Aunt Reed once, and she said possibly I might\nhave some poor, low relations called Eyre, but she knew nothing about\nthem.\"" ]

[ "asked Mr. Lloyd.", "\"No: but night will come again before long: and besides,--I am\nunhappy,--very unhappy, for other things.\"", "Are you afraid now in\ndaylight?\"", "\"Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished\"--\"A great\nblack dog behind him\"--\"Three loud raps on the chamber door\"--\"A light in\nthe churchyard just over his grave,\" etc., etc.", "At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out.", "Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,\n Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,\n Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,\n Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.", "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near.", "but how could she divine the\nmorbid suffering to which I was a prey?", "\"Yes, sir, Jane Eyre.\"" ]

[ "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!" ]

[ "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "was my scarcely\nvoluntary demand.", "I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my\ntongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance:\nsomething spoke out of me over which I had no control.", "\"What?\"", "said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey\neye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm,\nand gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or\nfiend.", "I was now in for it.", "\"My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can\npapa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you\nwish me dead.\"", "Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed\nboth my ears, and then left me without a word.", "Bessie supplied the\nhiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a\ndoubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a\nroof.", "I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging\nin my breast.", "November, December, and half of January passed away.", "Christmas and the\nNew Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer;\npresents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given.", "From\nevery enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety\nconsisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and\nseeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin\nfrocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted; and\nafterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played\nbelow, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the\njingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken\nhum of conversation as the drawing-room door opened and closed.", "When\ntired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the\nsolitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not\nmiserable.", "To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company,\nfor in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind\nand companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings\nquietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of\nMrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen.", "But Bessie, as soon\nas she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the\nlively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing\nthe candle along with her.", "I then sat with my doll on my knee till the\nfire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse\nthan myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull\nred, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might,\nand sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib.", "To this crib I\nalways took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth\nof worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in\nloving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature\nscarecrow.", "It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I\ndoated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of\nsensation.", "I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and\nwhen it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it\nto be happy likewise.", "Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and\nlistened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she\nwould come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or\nperhaps to bring me something by way of supper--a bun or a\ncheese-cake--then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had\nfinished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me,\nand said, \"Good night, Miss Jane.\"", "When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me\nthe best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most\nintensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never\npush me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often\nwont to do.", "Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural\ncapacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of\nnarrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her\nnursery tales.", "She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and\nperson are correct.", "I remember her as a slim young woman, with black\nhair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she\nhad a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or\njustice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at\nGateshead Hall.", "It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning:\nBessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned\nto their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go\nand feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less\nso of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she\nthus obtained.", "She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for\nsaving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in\ndriving hard bargains with the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and\nslips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of\nhis young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and\nEliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a\nhandsome profit thereby.", "As to her money, she first secreted it in odd\ncorners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards\nhaving been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing\nher valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious\nrate of interest--fifty or sixty per cent.", "; which interest she exacted\nevery quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious\naccuracy.", "Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and\ninterweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of\nwhich she had found a store in a drawer in the attic.", "I was making my\nbed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before\nshe returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-\nnurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c.).", "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage-road,\nand just as I had dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage veiling\nthe panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a\ncarriage roll through.", "I watched it ascending the drive with\nindifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought\nvisitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the\ndoor-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was admitted.", "All this being\nnothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the\nspectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs\nof the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the casement.", "The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and\nhaving crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out\nthe crumbs on the window-sill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the\nnursery.", "\"Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there?", "Have you\nwashed your hands and face this morning?\"", "I gave another tug before I\nanswered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash\nyielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the\ncherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied--\n\n\"No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.\"", "\"Troublesome, careless child!", "and what are you doing now?", "You look quite\nred, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the\nwindow for?\"", "I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a\nhurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand,\ninflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with\nsoap, water, and a coarse towel; disciplined my head with a bristly\nbrush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the\nstairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast-room.", "I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was\nthere; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon\nme.", "I slowly descended.", "For nearly three months, I had never been\ncalled to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the\nbreakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were become for me awful regions, on\nwhich it dismayed me to intrude.", "I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-room door, and\nI stopped, intimidated and trembling.", "What a miserable little poltroon\nhad fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days!", "I\nfeared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour;\nten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the\nbreakfast-room bell decided me; I _must_ enter.", "\"Who could want me?\"", "I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the\nstiff door-handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts.", "\"What\nshould I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?--a man or a woman?\"", "The\nhandle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low,\nI looked up at--a black pillar!--such, at least, appeared to me, at first\nsight, the straight, narrow, sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug:\nthe grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft\nby way of capital.", "Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to\nme to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger\nwith the words: \"This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to\nyou.\"", "_He_, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and\nhaving examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which\ntwinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice,\n\"Her size is small: what is her age?\"", "\"Ten years.\"", "\"So much?\"", "was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for\nsome minutes.", "Presently he addressed me--\"Your name, little girl?\"", "\"Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman;\nbut then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the\nlines of his frame were equally harsh and prim.", "\"Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?\"", "Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a\ncontrary opinion: I was silent.", "Mrs. Reed answered for me by an\nexpressive shake of the head, adding soon, \"Perhaps the less said on that\nsubject the better, Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "\"Sorry indeed to hear it!", "she and I must have some talk;\" and bending\nfrom the perpendicular, he installed his person in the arm-chair opposite\nMrs. Reed's.", "\"Come here,\" he said.", "I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him.", "What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine!", "what a\ngreat nose!", "and what a mouth!", "and what large prominent teeth!", "\"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,\" he began, \"especially a\nnaughty little girl.", "Do you know where the wicked go after death?\"", "\"They go to hell,\" was my ready and orthodox answer.", "\"And what is hell?", "Can you tell me that?\"", "\"A pit full of fire.\"", "\"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for\never?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"What must you do to avoid it?\"", "I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable:\n\"I must keep in good health, and not die.\"", "\"How can you keep in good health?", "Children younger than you die daily.", "I\nburied a little child of five years old only a day or two since,--a good\nlittle child, whose soul is now in heaven.", "It is to be feared the same\ncould not be said of you were you to be called hence.\"", "Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on\nthe two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far\nenough away.", "\"I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having\nbeen the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress.\"", "\"Benefactress!", "benefactress!\"", "said I inwardly: \"they all call Mrs. Reed\nmy benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.\"", "\"Do you say your prayers night and morning?\"", "continued my interrogator.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Do you read your Bible?\"", "\"Sometimes.\"", "\"With pleasure?", "Are you fond of it?\"", "\"I like Revelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis and Samuel, and\na little bit of Exodus, and some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job\nand Jonah.\"", "\"And the Psalms?", "I hope you like them?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"No?", "oh, shocking!", "I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six\nPsalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a\ngingerbread-nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: 'Oh!", "the\nverse of a Psalm!", "angels sing Psalms;' says he, 'I wish to be a little\nangel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant\npiety.\"", "\"Psalms are not interesting,\" I remarked.", "\"That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change\nit: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and\ngive you a heart of flesh.\"", "I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that\noperation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed\ninterposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the\nconversation herself.", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to\nyou three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character\nand disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I\nshould be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep\na strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a\ntendency to deceit.", "I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may\nnot attempt to impose on Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature\nto wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully\nI obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were\nstill repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above.", "Now, uttered\nbefore a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived\nthat she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence\nwhich she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed\nthe feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future\npath; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an\nartful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury?", "\"Nothing, indeed,\" thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and\nhastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish.", "\"Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst; \"it\nis akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake\nburning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs.\nReed.", "I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.\"", "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"", "\"Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants,\nand I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege\nof her election.\"", "\"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I\nassure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was\nbecoming too irksome.\"", "\"No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning.", "I shall\nreturn to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good\nfriend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner.", "I shall\nsend Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there\nwill be no difficulty about receiving her.", "Good-bye.\"", "\"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst,\nand to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.\"", "\"I will, madam.", "Little girl, here is a book entitled the 'Child's\nGuide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing 'An account\nof the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to\nfalsehood and deceit.'\"", "With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn\nin a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.", "Mrs. Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was\nsewing, I was watching her.", "Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or\nseven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and\nstrong-limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese: she had a somewhat\nlarge face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow\nwas low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently\nregular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her\nskin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen; her constitution was\nsound as a bell--illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever\nmanager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control;\nher children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn;\nshe dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off\nhandsome attire.", "Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I examined her\nfigure; I perused her features.", "In my hand I held the tract containing\nthe sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been\npointed as to an appropriate warning.", "What had just passed; what Mrs.\nReed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their\nconversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every\nword as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment\nfomented now within me.", "Mrs. Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers\nat the same time suspended their nimble movements.", "\"Go out of the room; return to the nursery,\" was her mandate.", "My look or\nsomething else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with\nextreme though suppressed irritation.", "I got up, I went to the door; I\ncame back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up\nto her.", "_Speak_ I must: I had been trodden on severely, and _must_ turn: but how?", "What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist?", "I gathered my\nenergies and launched them in this blunt sentence--\n\n\"I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I\ndo not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except\nJohn Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl,\nGeorgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.\"", "Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice\ncontinued to dwell freezingly on mine.", "\"What more have you to say?\"", "she asked, rather in the tone in which a\nperson might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily\nused to a child.", "That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had.", "Shaking from\nhead to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued--\n\n\"I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again\nas long as I live.", "I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and\nif any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say\nthe very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with\nmiserable cruelty.\"", "\"How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?\"", "\"How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the _truth_.", "You\nthink I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or\nkindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity.", "I shall remember\nhow you thrust me back--roughly and violently thrust me back--into the\nred-room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony;\nthough I cried out, while suffocating with distress, 'Have mercy!", "Have\nmercy, Aunt Reed!'", "And that punishment you made me suffer because your\nwicked boy struck me--knocked me down for nothing.", "I will tell anybody\nwho asks me questions, this exact tale.", "People think you a good woman,\nbut you are bad, hard-hearted.", "_You_ are deceitful!\"", "{How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the truth: p30.jpg}\n\nEre I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with\nthe strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt.", "It seemed as if\nan invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-\nfor liberty.", "Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked\nfrightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her\nhands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she\nwould cry.", "\"Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you?", "Why do you\ntremble so violently?", "Would you like to drink some water?\"", "\"No, Mrs.", "Reed.\"", "\"Is there anything else you wish for, Jane?", "I assure you, I desire to be\nyour friend.\"", "\"Not you.", "You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful\ndisposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what\nyou have done.\"", "\"Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for\ntheir faults.\"", "\"Deceit is not my fault!\"", "I cried out in a savage, high voice.", "\"But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the\nnursery--there's a dear--and lie down a little.\"", "\"I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs.\nReed, for I hate to live here.\"", "\"I will indeed send her to school soon,\" murmured Mrs. Reed _sotto voce_;\nand gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.", "I was left there alone--winner of the field.", "It was the hardest battle I\nhad fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the\nrug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's\nsolitude.", "First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce\npleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my\npulses.", "A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot\ngive its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without\nexperiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction.", "A\nridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a\nmeet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same\nridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have\nrepresented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's\nsilence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the\ndreariness of my hated and hating position.", "Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine\nit seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and\ncorroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.", "Willingly\nwould I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly\nfrom experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her\nrepulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse\nof my nature.", "I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking;\nfain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre\nindignation.", "I took a book--some Arabian tales; I sat down and\nendeavoured to read.", "I could make no sense of the subject; my own\nthoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found\nfascinating.", "I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room: the\nshrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or\nbreeze, through the grounds.", "I covered my head and arms with the skirt\nof my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was\nquite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the\nfalling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept\nby past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together.", "I leaned against a\ngate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where\nthe short grass was nipped and blanched.", "It was a very grey day; a most\nopaque sky, \"onding on snaw,\" canopied all; thence flakes felt it\nintervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without\nmelting.", "I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and\nover again, \"What shall I do?--what shall I do?\"", "All at once I heard a clear voice call, \"Miss Jane!", "where are you?", "Come\nto lunch!\"", "It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step\ncame tripping down the path.", "\"You naughty little thing!\"", "she said.", "\"Why don't you come when you are\ncalled?\"", "Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been\nbrooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross.", "The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not\ndisposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I _was_\ndisposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart.", "I just put my two\narms round her and said, \"Come, Bessie!", "don't scold.\"", "The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to\nindulge in: somehow it pleased her.", "\"You are a strange child, Miss Jane,\" she said, as she looked down at me;\n\"a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I\nsuppose?\"", "I nodded.", "\"And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?\"", "\"What does Bessie care for me?", "She is always scolding me.\"", "\"Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing.", "You should\nbe bolder.\"", "\"What!", "to get more knocks?\"", "\"Nonsense!", "But you are rather put upon, that's certain.", "My mother said,\nwhen she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one\nof her own to be in your place.--Now, come in, and I've some good news\nfor you.\"", "\"I don't think you have, Bessie.\"", "\"Child!", "what do you mean?", "What sorrowful eyes you fix on me!", "Well, but\nMissis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this\nafternoon, and you shall have tea with me.", "I'll ask cook to bake you a\nlittle cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I\nam soon to pack your trunk.", "Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a\nday or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you.\"", "\"Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go.\"", "\"Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of\nme.", "Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so\nprovoking.\"", "\"I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I\nhave got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to\ndread.\"", "\"If you dread them they'll dislike you.\"", "\"As you do, Bessie?\"", "\"I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the\nothers.\"", "\"You don't show it.\"", "\"You little sharp thing!", "you've got quite a new way of talking.", "What\nmakes you so venturesome and hardy?\"", "\"Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides\"--I was going to say\nsomething about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second\nthoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head.", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "\"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,\" he began, \"especially a\nnaughty little girl.", "said I inwardly: \"they all call Mrs. Reed\nmy benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.\"", "the\nverse of a Psalm!", "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I\nassure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was\nbecoming too irksome.\"", "\"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst,\nand to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.\"", "Shaking from\nhead to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued--\n\n\"I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again\nas long as I live.", "_You_ are deceitful!\"", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "What had just passed; what Mrs.\nReed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their\nconversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every\nword as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment\nfomented now within me.", "With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn\nin a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.", "\"Who could want me?\"", "But Bessie, as soon\nas she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the\nlively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing\nthe candle along with her.", "I got up, I went to the door; I\ncame back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up\nto her.", "All at once I heard a clear voice call, \"Miss Jane!", "was my scarcely\nvoluntary demand.", "she said.", "oh, shocking!", "\"Nonsense!" ]

[ "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"" ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "Your Missis has not been my friend: she has\nbeen my foe.\"", "\"O Miss Jane!", "don't say so!\"", "\"Good-bye to Gateshead!\"", "cried I, as we passed through the hall and went\nout at the front door.", "The moon was set, and it was very dark; Bessie carried a lantern, whose\nlight glanced on wet steps and gravel road sodden by a recent thaw.", "Raw\nand chill was the winter morning: my teeth chattered as I hastened down\nthe drive.", "There was a light in the porter's lodge: when we reached it,\nwe found the porter's wife just kindling her fire: my trunk, which had\nbeen carried down the evening before, stood corded at the door.", "It\nwanted but a few minutes of six, and shortly after that hour had struck,\nthe distant roll of wheels announced the coming coach; I went to the door\nand watched its lamps approach rapidly through the gloom.", "\"Is she going by herself?\"", "asked the porter's wife.", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And how far is it?\"", "\"Fifty miles.\"", "\"What a long way!", "I wonder Mrs. Reed is not afraid to trust her so far\nalone.\"", "The coach drew up; there it was at the gates with its four horses and its\ntop laden with passengers: the guard and coachman loudly urged haste; my\ntrunk was hoisted up; I was taken from Bessie's neck, to which I clung\nwith kisses.", "\"Be sure and take good care of her,\" cried she to the guard, as he lifted\nme into the inside.", "\"Ay, ay!\"", "was the answer: the door was slapped to, a voice exclaimed \"All\nright,\" and on we drove.", "Thus was I severed from Bessie and Gateshead;\nthus whirled away to unknown, and, as I then deemed, remote and\nmysterious regions.", "I remember but little of the journey; I only know that the day seemed to\nme of a preternatural length, and that we appeared to travel over\nhundreds of miles of road.", "We passed through several towns, and in one,\na very large one, the coach stopped; the horses were taken out, and the\npassengers alighted to dine.", "I was carried into an inn, where the guard\nwanted me to have some dinner; but, as I had no appetite, he left me in\nan immense room with a fireplace at each end, a chandelier pendent from\nthe ceiling, and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled\nwith musical instruments.", "Here I walked about for a long time, feeling\nvery strange, and mortally apprehensive of some one coming in and\nkidnapping me; for I believed in kidnappers, their exploits having\nfrequently figured in Bessie's fireside chronicles.", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty: as it waned into dusk, I\nbegan to feel that we were getting very far indeed from Gateshead: we\nceased to pass through towns; the country changed; great grey hills\nheaved up round the horizon: as twilight deepened, we descended a valley,\ndark with wood, and long after night had overclouded the prospect, I\nheard a wild wind rushing amongst trees.", "Lulled by the sound, I at last dropped asleep; I had not long slumbered\nwhen the sudden cessation of motion awoke me; the coach-door was open,\nand a person like a servant was standing at it: I saw her face and dress\nby the light of the lamps.", "\"Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here?\"", "she asked.", "I answered\n\"Yes,\" and was then lifted out; my trunk was handed down, and the coach\ninstantly drove away.", "I was stiff with long sitting, and bewildered with the noise and motion\nof the coach: Gathering my faculties, I looked about me.", "Rain, wind, and\ndarkness filled the air; nevertheless, I dimly discerned a wall before me\nand a door open in it; through this door I passed with my new guide: she\nshut and locked it behind her.", "There was now visible a house or\nhouses--for the building spread far--with many windows, and lights\nburning in some; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were\nadmitted at a door; then the servant led me through a passage into a room\nwith a fire, where she left me alone.", "I stood and warmed my numbed fingers over the blaze, then I looked round;\nthere was no candle, but the uncertain light from the hearth showed, by\nintervals, papered walls, carpet, curtains, shining mahogany furniture:\nit was a parlour, not so spacious or splendid as the drawing-room at\nGateshead, but comfortable enough.", "I was puzzling to make out the\nsubject of a picture on the wall, when the door opened, and an individual\ncarrying a light entered; another followed close behind.", "The first was a tall lady with dark hair, dark eyes, and a pale and large\nforehead; her figure was partly enveloped in a shawl, her countenance was\ngrave, her bearing erect.", "\"The child is very young to be sent alone,\" said she, putting her candle\ndown on the table.", "She considered me attentively for a minute or two,\nthen further added--\n\n\"She had better be put to bed soon; she looks tired: are you tired?\"", "she\nasked, placing her hand on my shoulder.", "\"A little, ma'am.\"", "\"And hungry too, no doubt: let her have some supper before she goes to\nbed, Miss Miller.", "Is this the first time you have left your parents to\ncome to school, my little girl?\"", "I explained to her that I had no parents.", "She inquired how long they had\nbeen dead: then how old I was, what was my name, whether I could read,\nwrite, and sew a little: then she touched my cheek gently with her\nforefinger, and saying, \"She hoped I should be a good child,\" dismissed\nme along with Miss Miller.", "The lady I had left might be about twenty-nine; the one who went with me\nappeared some years younger: the first impressed me by her voice, look,\nand air.", "Miss Miller was more ordinary; ruddy in complexion, though of a\ncareworn countenance; hurried in gait and action, like one who had always\na multiplicity of tasks on hand: she looked, indeed, what I afterwards\nfound she really was, an under-teacher.", "Led by her, I passed from\ncompartment to compartment, from passage to passage, of a large and\nirregular building; till, emerging from the total and somewhat dreary\nsilence pervading that portion of the house we had traversed, we came\nupon the hum of many voices, and presently entered a wide, long room,\nwith great deal tables, two at each end, on each of which burnt a pair of\ncandles, and seated all round on benches, a congregation of girls of\nevery age, from nine or ten to twenty.", "Seen by the dim light of the\ndips, their number to me appeared countless, though not in reality\nexceeding eighty; they were uniformly dressed in brown stuff frocks of\nquaint fashion, and long holland pinafores.", "It was the hour of study;\nthey were engaged in conning over their to-morrow's task, and the hum I\nhad heard was the combined result of their whispered repetitions.", "Miss Miller signed to me to sit on a bench near the door, then walking up\nto the top of the long room she cried out--\n\n\"Monitors, collect the lesson-books and put them away!\"", "Four tall girls arose from different tables, and going round, gathered\nthe books and removed them.", "Miss Miller again gave the word of command--\n\n\"Monitors, fetch the supper-trays!\"", "The tall girls went out and returned presently, each bearing a tray, with\nportions of something, I knew not what, arranged thereon, and a pitcher\nof water and mug in the middle of each tray.", "The portions were handed\nround; those who liked took a draught of the water, the mug being common\nto all.", "When it came to my turn, I drank, for I was thirsty, but did not\ntouch the food, excitement and fatigue rendering me incapable of eating:\nI now saw, however, that it was a thin oaten cake shared into fragments.", "The meal over, prayers were read by Miss Miller, and the classes filed\noff, two and two, upstairs.", "Overpowered by this time with weariness, I\nscarcely noticed what sort of a place the bedroom was, except that, like\nthe schoolroom, I saw it was very long.", "To-night I was to be Miss\nMiller's bed-fellow; she helped me to undress: when laid down I glanced\nat the long rows of beds, each of which was quickly filled with two\noccupants; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished, and amidst\nsilence and complete darkness I fell asleep.", "The night passed rapidly.", "I was too tired even to dream; I only once\nawoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts, and the rain fall in\ntorrents, and to be sensible that Miss Miller had taken her place by my\nside.", "When I again unclosed my eyes, a loud bell was ringing; the girls\nwere up and dressing; day had not yet begun to dawn, and a rushlight or\ntwo burned in the room.", "I too rose reluctantly; it was bitter cold, and\nI dressed as well as I could for shivering, and washed when there was a\nbasin at liberty, which did not occur soon, as there was but one basin to\nsix girls, on the stands down the middle of the room.", "Again the bell\nrang: all formed in file, two and two, and in that order descended the\nstairs and entered the cold and dimly lit schoolroom: here prayers were\nread by Miss Miller; afterwards she called out--\n\n\"Form classes!\"", "A great tumult succeeded for some minutes, during which Miss Miller\nrepeatedly exclaimed, \"Silence!\"", "and \"Order!\"", "When it subsided, I saw\nthem all drawn up in four semicircles, before four chairs, placed at the\nfour tables; all held books in their hands, and a great book, like a\nBible, lay on each table, before the vacant seat.", "A pause of some\nseconds succeeded, filled up by the low, vague hum of numbers; Miss\nMiller walked from class to class, hushing this indefinite sound.", "A distant bell tinkled: immediately three ladies entered the room, each\nwalked to a table and took her seat.", "Miss Miller assumed the fourth\nvacant chair, which was that nearest the door, and around which the\nsmallest of the children were assembled: to this inferior class I was\ncalled, and placed at the bottom of it.", "Business now began, the day's Collect was repeated, then certain texts of\nScripture were said, and to these succeeded a protracted reading of\nchapters in the Bible, which lasted an hour.", "By the time that exercise\nwas terminated, day had fully dawned.", "The indefatigable bell now sounded\nfor the fourth time: the classes were marshalled and marched into another\nroom to breakfast: how glad I was to behold a prospect of getting\nsomething to eat!", "I was now nearly sick from inanition, having taken so\nlittle the day before.", "The refectory was a great, low-ceiled, gloomy room; on two long tables\nsmoked basins of something hot, which, however, to my dismay, sent forth\nan odour far from inviting.", "I saw a universal manifestation of\ndiscontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of those\ndestined to swallow it; from the van of the procession, the tall girls of\nthe first class, rose the whispered words--\n\n\"Disgusting!", "The porridge is burnt again!\"", "\"Silence!\"", "ejaculated a voice; not that of Miss Miller, but one of the\nupper teachers, a little and dark personage, smartly dressed, but of\nsomewhat morose aspect, who installed herself at the top of one table,\nwhile a more buxom lady presided at the other.", "I looked in vain for her\nI had first seen the night before; she was not visible: Miss Miller\noccupied the foot of the table where I sat, and a strange,\nforeign-looking, elderly lady, the French teacher, as I afterwards found,\ntook the corresponding seat at the other board.", "A long grace was said\nand a hymn sung; then a servant brought in some tea for the teachers, and\nthe meal began.", "Ravenous, and now very faint, I devoured a spoonful or two of my portion\nwithout thinking of its taste; but the first edge of hunger blunted, I\nperceived I had got in hand a nauseous mess; burnt porridge is almost as\nbad as rotten potatoes; famine itself soon sickens over it.", "The spoons\nwere moved slowly: I saw each girl taste her food and try to swallow it;\nbut in most cases the effort was soon relinquished.", "Breakfast was over,\nand none had breakfasted.", "Thanks being returned for what we had not got,\nand a second hymn chanted, the refectory was evacuated for the\nschoolroom.", "I was one of the last to go out, and in passing the tables,\nI saw one teacher take a basin of the porridge and taste it; she looked\nat the others; all their countenances expressed displeasure, and one of\nthem, the stout one, whispered--\n\n\"Abominable stuff!", "How shameful!\"", "A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began, during which the\nschoolroom was in a glorious tumult; for that space of time it seemed to\nbe permitted to talk loud and more freely, and they used their privilege.", "The whole conversation ran on the breakfast, which one and all abused\nroundly.", "Poor things!", "it was the sole consolation they had.", "Miss Miller\nwas now the only teacher in the room: a group of great girls standing\nabout her spoke with serious and sullen gestures.", "I heard the name of\nMr. Brocklehurst pronounced by some lips; at which Miss Miller shook her\nhead disapprovingly; but she made no great effort to check the general\nwrath; doubtless she shared in it.", "A clock in the schoolroom struck nine; Miss Miller left her circle, and\nstanding in the middle of the room, cried--\n\n\"Silence!", "To your seats!\"", "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"", "While the direction was being executed, the lady consulted moved slowly\nup the room.", "I suppose I have a considerable organ of veneration, for I\nretain yet the sense of admiring awe with which my eyes traced her steps.", "Seen now, in broad daylight, she looked tall, fair, and shapely; brown\neyes with a benignant light in their irids, and a fine pencilling of long\nlashes round, relieved the whiteness of her large front; on each of her\ntemples her hair, of a very dark brown, was clustered in round curls,\naccording to the fashion of those times, when neither smooth bands nor\nlong ringlets were in vogue; her dress, also in the mode of the day, was\nof purple cloth, relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of black velvet;\na gold watch (watches were not so common then as now) shone at her\ngirdle.", "Let the reader add, to complete the picture, refined features; a\ncomplexion, if pale, clear; and a stately air and carriage, and he will\nhave, at least, as clearly as words can give it, a correct idea of the\nexterior of Miss Temple--Maria Temple, as I afterwards saw the name\nwritten in a prayer-book intrusted to me to carry to church.", "The superintendent of Lowood (for such was this lady) having taken her\nseat before a pair of globes placed on one of the tables, summoned the\nfirst class round her, and commenced giving a lesson on geography; the\nlower classes were called by the teachers: repetitions in history,\ngrammar, &c., went on for an hour; writing and arithmetic succeeded, and\nmusic lessons were given by Miss Temple to some of the elder girls.", "The\nduration of each lesson was measured by the clock, which at last struck\ntwelve.", "The superintendent rose--\n\n\"I have a word to address to the pupils,\" said she.", "The tumult of cessation from lessons was already breaking forth, but it\nsank at her voice.", "She went on--\n\n\"You had this morning a breakfast which you could not eat; you must be\nhungry:--I have ordered that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served\nto all.\"", "The teachers looked at her with a sort of surprise.", "\"It is to be done on my responsibility,\" she added, in an explanatory\ntone to them, and immediately afterwards left the room.", "The bread and cheese was presently brought in and distributed, to the\nhigh delight and refreshment of the whole school.", "The order was now\ngiven \"To the garden!\"", "Each put on a coarse straw bonnet, with strings\nof coloured calico, and a cloak of grey frieze.", "I was similarly\nequipped, and, following the stream, I made my way into the open air.", "The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls so high as to\nexclude every glimpse of prospect; a covered verandah ran down one side,\nand broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little\nbeds: these beds were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate,\nand each bed had an owner.", "When full of flowers they would doubtless\nlook pretty; but now, at the latter end of January, all was wintry blight\nand brown decay.", "I shuddered as I stood and looked round me: it was an\ninclement day for outdoor exercise; not positively rainy, but darkened by\na drizzling yellow fog; all under foot was still soaking wet with the\nfloods of yesterday.", "The stronger among the girls ran about and engaged\nin active games, but sundry pale and thin ones herded together for\nshelter and warmth in the verandah; and amongst these, as the dense mist\npenetrated to their shivering frames, I heard frequently the sound of a\nhollow cough.", "As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me;\nI stood lonely enough: but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed;\nit did not oppress me much.", "I leant against a pillar of the verandah,\ndrew my grey mantle close about me, and, trying to forget the cold which\nnipped me without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed me within,\ndelivered myself up to the employment of watching and thinking.", "My\nreflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record: I hardly\nyet knew where I was; Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to\nan immeasurable distance; the present was vague and strange, and of the\nfuture I could form no conjecture.", "I looked round the convent-like\ngarden, and then up at the house--a large building, half of which seemed\ngrey and old, the other half quite new.", "The new part, containing the\nschoolroom and dormitory, was lit by mullioned and latticed windows,\nwhich gave it a church-like aspect; a stone tablet over the door bore\nthis inscription:--\n\n\"Lowood Institution.--This portion was rebuilt A.D. ---, by Naomi\nBrocklehurst, of Brocklehurst Hall, in this county.\"", "\"Let your light so\nshine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your\nFather which is in heaven.\"--St.", "Matt.", "v. 16.", "I read these words over and over again: I felt that an explanation\nbelonged to them, and was unable fully to penetrate their import.", "I was\nstill pondering the signification of \"Institution,\" and endeavouring to\nmake out a connection between the first words and the verse of Scripture,\nwhen the sound of a cough close behind me made me turn my head.", "I saw a\ngirl sitting on a stone bench near; she was bent over a book, on the\nperusal of which she seemed intent: from where I stood I could see the\ntitle--it was \"Rasselas;\" a name that struck me as strange, and\nconsequently attractive.", "In turning a leaf she happened to look up, and\nI said to her directly--\n\n\"Is your book interesting?\"", "I had already formed the intention of asking\nher to lend it to me some day.", "\"I like it,\" she answered, after a pause of a second or two, during which\nshe examined me.", "\"What is it about?\"", "I continued.", "I hardly know where I found the\nhardihood thus to open a conversation with a stranger; the step was\ncontrary to my nature and habits: but I think her occupation touched a\nchord of sympathy somewhere; for I too liked reading, though of a\nfrivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious\nor substantial.", "\"You may look at it,\" replied the girl, offering me the book.", "I did so; a brief examination convinced me that the contents were less\ntaking than the title: \"Rasselas\" looked dull to my trifling taste; I saw\nnothing about fairies, nothing about genii; no bright variety seemed\nspread over the closely-printed pages.", "I returned it to her; she\nreceived it quietly, and without saying anything she was about to relapse\ninto her former studious mood: again I ventured to disturb her--\n\n\"Can you tell me what the writing on that stone over the door means?", "What\nis Lowood Institution?\"", "\"This house where you are come to live.\"", "\"And why do they call it Institution?", "Is it in any way different from\nother schools?\"", "\"It is partly a charity-school: you and I, and all the rest of us, are\ncharity-children.", "I suppose you are an orphan: are not either your\nfather or your mother dead?\"", "\"Both died before I can remember.\"", "\"Well, all the girls here have lost either one or both parents, and this\nis called an institution for educating orphans.\"", "\"Do we pay no money?", "Do they keep us for nothing?\"", "\"We pay, or our friends pay, fifteen pounds a year for each.\"", "\"Then why do they call us charity-children?\"", "\"Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching, and the\ndeficiency is supplied by subscription.\"", "\"Who subscribes?\"", "\"Different benevolent-minded ladies and gentlemen in this neighbourhood\nand in London.\"", "\"Who was Naomi Brocklehurst?\"", "\"The lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records,\nand whose son overlooks and directs everything here.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because he is treasurer and manager of the establishment.\"", "\"Then this house does not belong to that tall lady who wears a watch, and\nwho said we were to have some bread and cheese?\"", "\"To Miss Temple?", "Oh, no!", "I wish it did: she has to answer to Mr.\nBrocklehurst for all she does.", "Mr. Brocklehurst buys all our food and\nall our clothes.\"", "\"Does he live here?\"", "\"No--two miles off, at a large hall.\"", "\"Is he a good man?\"", "\"He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of good.\"", "\"Did you say that tall lady was called Miss Temple?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what are the other teachers called?\"", "\"The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith; she attends to the work,\nand cuts out--for we make our own clothes, our frocks, and pelisses, and\neverything; the little one with black hair is Miss Scatcherd; she teaches\nhistory and grammar, and hears the second class repetitions; and the one\nwho wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief tied to her side with a\nyellow ribband, is Madame Pierrot: she comes from Lisle, in France, and\nteaches French.\"", "\"Do you like the teachers?\"", "\"Well enough.\"", "\"Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ---?--I cannot\npronounce her name as you do.\"", "\"Miss Scatcherd is hasty--you must take care not to offend her; Madame\nPierrot is not a bad sort of person.\"", "\"But Miss Temple is the best--isn't she?\"", "\"Miss Temple is very good and very clever; she is above the rest, because\nshe knows far more than they do.\"", "\"Have you been long here?\"", "\"Two years.\"", "\"Are you an orphan?\"", "\"My mother is dead.\"", "\"Are you happy here?\"", "\"You ask rather too many questions.", "I have given you answers enough for\nthe present: now I want to read.\"", "But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner; all re-entered the\nhouse.", "The odour which now filled the refectory was scarcely more\nappetising than that which had regaled our nostrils at breakfast: the\ndinner was served in two huge tin-plated vessels, whence rose a strong\nsteam redolent of rancid fat.", "I found the mess to consist of indifferent\npotatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat, mixed and cooked together.", "Of\nthis preparation a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned to each\npupil.", "I ate what I could, and wondered within myself whether every\nday's fare would be like this.", "After dinner, we immediately adjourned to the schoolroom: lessons\nrecommenced, and were continued till five o'clock.", "The only marked event of the afternoon was, that I saw the girl with whom\nI had conversed in the verandah dismissed in disgrace by Miss Scatcherd\nfrom a history class, and sent to stand in the middle of the large\nschoolroom.", "The punishment seemed to me in a high degree ignominious,\nespecially for so great a girl--she looked thirteen or upwards.", "I\nexpected she would show signs of great distress and shame; but to my\nsurprise she neither wept nor blushed: composed, though grave, she stood,\nthe central mark of all eyes.", "\"How can she bear it so quietly--so\nfirmly?\"", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "\"Fifty miles.\"", "We passed through several towns, and in one,\na very large one, the coach stopped; the horses were taken out, and the\npassengers alighted to dine.", "There was now visible a house or\nhouses--for the building spread far--with many windows, and lights\nburning in some; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were\nadmitted at a door; then the servant led me through a passage into a room\nwith a fire, where she left me alone.", "A pause of some\nseconds succeeded, filled up by the low, vague hum of numbers; Miss\nMiller walked from class to class, hushing this indefinite sound.", "The order was now\ngiven \"To the garden!\"", "I leant against a pillar of the verandah,\ndrew my grey mantle close about me, and, trying to forget the cold which\nnipped me without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed me within,\ndelivered myself up to the employment of watching and thinking.", "I hardly know where I found the\nhardihood thus to open a conversation with a stranger; the step was\ncontrary to my nature and habits: but I think her occupation touched a\nchord of sympathy somewhere; for I too liked reading, though of a\nfrivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious\nor substantial.", "\"And why do they call it Institution?", "I suppose you are an orphan: are not either your\nfather or your mother dead?\"", "Do they keep us for nothing?\"" ]

[ "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "Miss Miller\nwas now the only teacher in the room: a group of great girls standing\nabout her spoke with serious and sullen gestures.", "There was a light in the porter's lodge: when we reached it,\nwe found the porter's wife just kindling her fire: my trunk, which had\nbeen carried down the evening before, stood corded at the door.", "\"The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith; she attends to the work,\nand cuts out--for we make our own clothes, our frocks, and pelisses, and\neverything; the little one with black hair is Miss Scatcherd; she teaches\nhistory and grammar, and hears the second class repetitions; and the one\nwho wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief tied to her side with a\nyellow ribband, is Madame Pierrot: she comes from Lisle, in France, and\nteaches French.\"", "Overpowered by this time with weariness, I\nscarcely noticed what sort of a place the bedroom was, except that, like\nthe schoolroom, I saw it was very long.", "When it came to my turn, I drank, for I was thirsty, but did not\ntouch the food, excitement and fatigue rendering me incapable of eating:\nI now saw, however, that it was a thin oaten cake shared into fragments.", "Mr. Brocklehurst buys all our food and\nall our clothes.\"", "As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me;\nI stood lonely enough: but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed;\nit did not oppress me much.", "I hardly know where I found the\nhardihood thus to open a conversation with a stranger; the step was\ncontrary to my nature and habits: but I think her occupation touched a\nchord of sympathy somewhere; for I too liked reading, though of a\nfrivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious\nor substantial.", "\"Good-bye to Gateshead!\"" ]

[ "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"" ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Even in that obscure position,\nMiss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant notice: she\nwas continually addressing to her such phrases as the following:--\n\n\"Burns\" (such it seems was her name: the girls here were all called by\ntheir surnames, as boys are elsewhere), \"Burns, you are standing on the\nside of your shoe; turn your toes out immediately.\"", "\"Burns, you poke\nyour chin most unpleasantly; draw it in.\"", "\"Burns, I insist on your\nholding your head up; I will not have you before me in that attitude,\"\n&c. &c.\n\nA chapter having been read through twice, the books were closed and the\ngirls examined.", "The lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles\nI., and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-\nmoney, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little\ndifficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns: her memory seemed\nto have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready\nwith answers on every point.", "I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would\npraise her attention; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out--\n\n\"You dirty, disagreeable girl!", "you have never cleaned your nails this\nmorning!\"", "Burns made no answer: I wondered at her silence.", "\"Why,\" thought I, \"does\nshe not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face,\nas the water was frozen?\"", "My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring me to hold a skein\nof thread: while she was winding it, she talked to me from time to time,\nasking whether I had ever been at school before, whether I could mark,\nstitch, knit, &c.; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my\nobservations on Miss Scatcherd's movements.", "When I returned to my seat,\nthat lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the\nimport; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small\ninner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying\nin her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end.", "This ominous\ntool she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtesy; then she\nquietly, and without being told, unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher\ninstantly and sharply inflicted on her neck a dozen strokes with the\nbunch of twigs.", "Not a tear rose to Burns' eye; and, while I paused from\nmy sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment\nof unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive face\naltered its ordinary expression.", "\"Hardened girl!\"", "exclaimed Miss Scatcherd; \"nothing can correct you of\nyour slatternly habits: carry the rod away.\"", "Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the\nbook-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket,\nand the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.", "The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the\nday at Lowood: the bit of bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five\no'clock had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long\nrestraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in\nthe morning--its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to\nsupply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the\nruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the confusion of many voices gave\none a welcome sense of liberty.", "On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her\npupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing\ngroups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the\nwindows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a\ndrift was already forming against the lower panes; putting my ear close\nto the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within, the\ndisconsolate moan of the wind outside.", "Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would\nhave been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the\nseparation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this obscure\nchaos would have disturbed my peace!", "as it was, I derived from both a\nstrange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to howl\nmore wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise\nto clamour.", "Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of\nthe fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns,\nabsorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a\nbook, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.", "\"Is it still 'Rasselas'?\"", "I asked, coming behind her.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"and I have just finished it.\"", "And in five minutes more she shut it up.", "I was glad of this.", "\"Now,\"\nthought I, \"I can perhaps get her to talk.\"", "I sat down by her on the\nfloor.", "\"What is your name besides Burns?\"", "\"Helen.\"", "\"Do you come a long way from here?\"", "\"I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.\"", "\"Will you ever go back?\"", "\"I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.\"", "\"You must wish to leave Lowood?\"", "\"No!", "why should I?", "I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it\nwould be of no use going away until I have attained that object.\"", "\"But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?\"", "\"Cruel?", "Not at all!", "She is severe: she dislikes my faults.\"", "\"And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist her.", "If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand; I should\nbreak it under her nose.\"", "\"Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr.\nBrocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great grief\nto your relations.", "It is far better to endure patiently a smart which\nnobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil\nconsequences will extend to all connected with you; and besides, the\nBible bids us return good for evil.\"", "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"", "At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her\ngrave face.", "\"Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one,\neven the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them\ngently; and, if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my meed\nliberally.", "One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that\neven her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure\nme of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly,\ncannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight.\"", "\"That is curious,\" said I, \"it is so easy to be careful.\"", "\"For _you_ I have no doubt it is.", "I observed you in your class this\nmorning, and saw you were closely attentive: your thoughts never seemed\nto wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you.", "Now,\nmine continually rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd,\nand collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very sound\nof her voice; I fall into a sort of dream.", "Sometimes I think I am in\nNorthumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a\nlittle brook which runs through Deepden, near our house;--then, when it\ncomes to my turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and having heard\nnothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no\nanswer ready.\"", "\"Yet how well you replied this afternoon.\"", "\"It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been reading had\ninterested me.", "This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was\nwondering how a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and\nunwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it\nwas that, with his integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no\nfarther than the prerogatives of the crown.", "If he had but been able to\nlook to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was\ntending!", "Still, I like Charles--I respect him--I pity him, poor murdered\nking!", "Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right\nto shed.", "How dared they kill him!\"", "Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well\nunderstand her--that I was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she\ndiscussed.", "I recalled her to my level.", "\"And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts wander then?\"", "\"No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to\nsay which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly\nagreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what\nI wished to gain.\"", "\"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?\"", "\"Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides\nme.", "There is no merit in such goodness.\"", "\"A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you.", "It is all I\never desire to be.", "If people were always kind and obedient to those who\nare cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way:\nthey would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would\ngrow worse and worse.", "When we are struck at without a reason, we should\nstrike back again very hard; I am sure we should--so hard as to teach the\nperson who struck us never to do it again.\"", "\"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are\nbut a little untaught girl.\"", "\"But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to\nplease them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me\nunjustly.", "It is as natural as that I should love those who show me\naffection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved.\"", "\"Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and\ncivilised nations disown it.\"", "\"How?", "I don't understand.\"", "\"It is not violence that best overcomes hate--nor vengeance that most\ncertainly heals injury.\"", "\"What then?\"", "\"Read the New Testament, and observe what Christ says, and how He acts;\nmake His word your rule, and His conduct your example.\"", "\"What does He say?\"", "\"Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate\nyou and despitefully use you.\"", "\"Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son\nJohn, which is impossible.\"", "In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I proceeded forthwith\nto pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments.", "Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or\nsoftening.", "Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected she would then make a\nremark, but she said nothing.", "\"Well,\" I asked impatiently, \"is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad\nwoman?\"", "\"She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your\ncast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you\nremember all she has done and said to you!", "What a singularly deep\nimpression her injustice seems to have made on your heart!", "No ill-usage\nso brands its record on my feelings.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "When I returned to my seat,\nthat lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the\nimport; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small\ninner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying\nin her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end.", "Not a tear rose to Burns' eye; and, while I paused from\nmy sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment\nof unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive face\naltered its ordinary expression.", "\"You must wish to leave Lowood?\"", "\"Yet how well you replied this afternoon.\"", "If he had but been able to\nlook to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was\ntending!", "Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right\nto shed.", "\"No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to\nsay which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly\nagreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what\nI wished to gain.\"", "\"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are\nbut a little untaught girl.\"", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "Not at all!", "\"I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.\"", "\"Yet how well you replied this afternoon.\"", "Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of\nthe fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns,\nabsorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a\nbook, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right\nto shed.", "as it was, I derived from both a\nstrange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to howl\nmore wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise\nto clamour.", "\"Well,\" I asked impatiently, \"is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad\nwoman?\"", "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen." ]

[ "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "\n\nMy first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance of cold\nmeat and bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary\nmeals, was served round between the services.", "At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an exposed and hilly\nroad, where the bitter winter wind, blowing over a range of snowy summits\nto the north, almost flayed the skin from our faces.", "I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping\nline, her plaid cloak, which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close\nabout her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to keep up our\nspirits, and march forward, as she said, \"like stalwart soldiers.\"", "The\nother teachers, poor things, were generally themselves too much dejected\nto attempt the task of cheering others.", "How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when we got back!", "But, to the little ones at least, this was denied: each hearth in the\nschoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of great girls, and\nbehind them the younger children crouched in groups, wrapping their\nstarved arms in their pinafores.", "A little solace came at tea-time, in the shape of a double ration of\nbread--a whole, instead of a half, slice--with the delicious addition of\na thin scrape of butter: it was the hebdomadal treat to which we all\nlooked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath.", "I generally contrived to reserve\na moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was\ninvariably obliged to part with.", "The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart, the Church\nCatechism, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of St. Matthew; and\nin listening to a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible\nyawns attested her weariness.", "A frequent interlude of these performances\nwas the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half-dozen of little\ngirls, who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down, if not out of the\nthird loft, yet off the fourth form, and be taken up half dead.", "The\nremedy was, to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and\noblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished.", "Sometimes their\nfeet failed them, and they sank together in a heap; they were then\npropped up with the monitors' high stools.", "I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brocklehurst; and indeed that\ngentleman was from home during the greater part of the first month after\nmy arrival; perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend the archdeacon:\nhis absence was a relief to me.", "I need not say that I had my own reasons\nfor dreading his coming: but come he did at last.", "One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at Lowood), as I was sitting\nwith a slate in my hand, puzzling over a sum in long division, my eyes,\nraised in abstraction to the window, caught sight of a figure just\npassing: I recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline; and when,\ntwo minutes after, all the school, teachers included, rose _en masse_, it\nwas not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance\nthey thus greeted.", "A long stride measured the schoolroom, and presently\nbeside Miss Temple, who herself had risen, stood the same black column\nwhich had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead.", "I\nnow glanced sideways at this piece of architecture.", "Yes, I was right: it\nwas Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer,\nnarrower, and more rigid than ever.", "I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I\nremembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition,\n&c.; the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and\nthe teachers of my vicious nature.", "All along I had been dreading the\nfulfilment of this promise,--I had been looking out daily for the \"Coming\nMan,\" whose information respecting my past life and conversation was to\nbrand me as a bad child for ever: now there he was.", "He stood at Miss Temple's side; he was speaking low in her ear: I did not\ndoubt he was making disclosures of my villainy; and I watched her eye\nwith painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on\nme a glance of repugnance and contempt.", "I listened too; and as I\nhappened to be seated quite at the top of the room, I caught most of what\nhe said: its import relieved me from immediate apprehension.", "\"I suppose, Miss Temple, the thread I bought at Lowton will do; it struck\nme that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises, and I\nsorted the needles to match.", "You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to\nmake a memorandum of the darning needles, but she shall have some papers\nsent in next week; and she is not, on any account, to give out more than\none at a time to each pupil: if they have more, they are apt to be\ncareless and lose them.", "And, O ma'am!", "I wish the woollen stockings were\nbetter looked to!--when I was here last, I went into the kitchen-garden\nand examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a quantity of\nblack hose in a very bad state of repair: from the size of the holes in\nthem I was sure they had not been well mended from time to time.\"", "He paused.", "\"Your directions shall be attended to, sir,\" said Miss Temple.", "\"And, ma'am,\" he continued, \"the laundress tells me some of the girls\nhave two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them\nto one.\"", "\"I think I can explain that circumstance, sir.", "Agnes and Catherine\nJohnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last\nThursday, and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the\noccasion.\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.", "\"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur\ntoo often.", "And there is another thing which surprised me; I find, in\nsettling accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread\nand cheese, has twice been served out to the girls during the past\nfortnight.", "How is this?", "I looked over the regulations, and I find no\nsuch meal as lunch mentioned.", "Who introduced this innovation?", "and by\nwhat authority?\"", "\"I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,\" replied Miss Temple:\n\"the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat\nit; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner-time.\"", "\"Madam, allow me an instant.", "You are aware that my plan in bringing up\nthese girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence,\nbut to render them hardy, patient, self-denying.", "Should any little\naccidental disappointment of the appetite occur, such as the spoiling of\na meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish, the incident ought not\nto be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort\nlost, thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution;\nit ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of the pupils, by\nencouraging them to evince fortitude under temporary privation.", "A brief\naddress on those occasions would not be mistimed, wherein a judicious\ninstructor would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of\nthe primitive Christians; to the torments of martyrs; to the exhortations\nof our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciples to take up their\ncross and follow Him; to His warnings that man shall not live by bread\nalone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God; to His\ndivine consolations, \"If ye suffer hunger or thirst for My sake, happy\nare ye.\"", "Oh, madam, when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt\nporridge, into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile\nbodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal souls!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst again paused--perhaps overcome by his feelings.", "Miss\nTemple had looked down when he first began to speak to her; but she now\ngazed straight before her, and her face, naturally pale as marble,\nappeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material;\nespecially her mouth, closed as if it would have required a sculptor's\nchisel to open it, and her brow settled gradually into petrified\nseverity.", "Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the hearth with his hands behind\nhis back, majestically surveyed the whole school.", "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly.", "Miss Temple, that girl's hair must be cut off entirely; I will\nsend a barber to-morrow: and I see others who have far too much of the\nexcrescence--that tall girl, tell her to turn round.", "Tell all the first\nform to rise up and direct their faces to the wall.\"", "Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips, as if to smooth away\nthe involuntary smile that curled them; she gave the order, however, and\nwhen the first class could take in what was required of them, they\nobeyed.", "Leaning a little back on my bench, I could see the looks and\ngrimaces with which they commented on this manoeuvre: it was a pity Mr.\nBrocklehurst could not see them too; he would perhaps have felt that,\nwhatever he might do with the outside of the cup and platter, the inside\nwas further beyond his interference than he imagined.", "He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then\npronounced sentence.", "These words fell like the knell of doom--\n\n\"All those top-knots must be cut off.\"", "Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.", "\"Madam,\" he pursued, \"I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is not of\nthis world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts of the\nflesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness and\nsobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel; and each of the young\npersons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity\nitself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off; think of the\ntime wasted, of--\"\n\nMr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors, ladies, now\nentered the room.", "They ought to have come a little sooner to have heard\nhis lecture on dress, for they were splendidly attired in velvet, silk,\nand furs.", "The two younger of the trio (fine girls of sixteen and\nseventeen) had grey beaver hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich\nplumes, and from under the brim of this graceful head-dress fell a\nprofusion of light tresses, elaborately curled; the elder lady was\nenveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed with ermine, and she wore a\nfalse front of French curls.", "These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs. and the\nMisses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at the top of the\nroom.", "It seems they had come in the carriage with their reverend\nrelative, and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of the room\nupstairs, while he transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned\nthe laundress, and lectured the superintendent.", "They now proceeded to\naddress divers remarks and reproofs to Miss Smith, who was charged with\nthe care of the linen and the inspection of the dormitories: but I had no\ntime to listen to what they said; other matters called off and enchanted\nmy attention.", "Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr. Brocklehurst and Miss\nTemple, I had not, at the same time, neglected precautions to secure my\npersonal safety; which I thought would be effected, if I could only elude\nobservation.", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst.", "It came.", "\"A careless girl!\"", "said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after--\"It is\nthe new pupil, I perceive.\"", "And before I could draw breath, \"I must not\nforget I have a word to say respecting her.\"", "Then aloud: how loud it\nseemed to me!", "\"Let the child who broke her slate come forward!\"", "Of my own accord I could not have stirred; I was paralysed: but the two\ngreat girls who sit on each side of me, set me on my legs and pushed me\ntowards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple gently assisted me to his\nvery feet, and I caught her whispered counsel--\n\n\"Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident; you shall not be\npunished.\"", "The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.", "\"Another minute, and she will despise me for a hypocrite,\" thought I; and\nan impulse of fury against Reed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my\npulses at the conviction.", "I was no Helen Burns.", "\"Fetch that stool,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a very high one\nfrom which a monitor had just risen: it was brought.", "\"Place the child upon it.\"", "And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no condition to\nnote particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up to the\nheight of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of me, and\nthat a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of\nsilvery plumage extended and waved below me.", "Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.", "\"Ladies,\" said he, turning to his family, \"Miss Temple, teachers, and\nchildren, you all see this girl?\"", "Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed like burning-glasses\nagainst my scorched skin.", "\"You see she is yet young; you observe she possesses the ordinary form of\nchildhood; God has graciously given her the shape that He has given to\nall of us; no signal deformity points her out as a marked character.", "Who\nwould think that the Evil One had already found a servant and agent in\nher?", "Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case.\"", "A pause--in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel\nthat the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked,\nmust be firmly sustained.", "\"My dear children,\" pursued the black marble clergyman, with pathos,\n\"this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes my duty to warn\nyou, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a little\ncastaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and\nan alien.", "You must be on your guard against her; you must shun her\nexample; if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from your sports,\nand shut her out from your converse.", "Teachers, you must watch her: keep\nyour eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions,\npunish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible,\nfor (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native\nof a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its\nprayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut--this girl is--a liar!\"", "Now came a pause of ten minutes, during which I, by this time in perfect\npossession of my wits, observed all the female Brocklehursts produce\ntheir pocket-handkerchiefs and apply them to their optics, while the\nelderly lady swayed herself to and fro, and the two younger ones\nwhispered, \"How shocking!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.", "\"This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious and charitable lady\nwho adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and\nwhose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an\ningratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was\nobliged to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious\nexample should contaminate their purity: she has sent her here to be\nhealed, even as the Jews of old sent their diseased to the troubled pool\nof Bethesda; and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the\nwaters to stagnate round her.\"", "With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted the top button of\nhis surtout, muttered something to his family, who rose, bowed to Miss\nTemple, and then all the great people sailed in state from the room.", "Turning at the door, my judge said--\n\n\"Let her stand half-an-hour longer on that stool, and let no one speak to\nher during the remainder of the day.\"", "There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the\nshame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now\nexposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy.", "What my sensations were\nno language can describe; but just as they all rose, stifling my breath\nand constricting my throat, a girl came up and passed me: in passing, she\nlifted her eyes.", "What a strange light inspired them!", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance of cold\nmeat and bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary\nmeals, was served round between the services.", "He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then\npronounced sentence.", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst.", "Teachers, you must watch her: keep\nyour eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions,\npunish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible,\nfor (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native\nof a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its\nprayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut--this girl is--a liar!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.", "Turning at the door, my judge said--\n\n\"Let her stand half-an-hour longer on that stool, and let no one speak to\nher during the remainder of the day.\"", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out." ]

[ "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "Yes, I was right: it\nwas Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer,\nnarrower, and more rigid than ever.", "What a strange light inspired them!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "A pause--in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel\nthat the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked,\nmust be firmly sustained.", "Then aloud: how loud it\nseemed to me!", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "And before I could draw breath, \"I must not\nforget I have a word to say respecting her.\"", "I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping\nline, her plaid cloak, which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close\nabout her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to keep up our\nspirits, and march forward, as she said, \"like stalwart soldiers.\"", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season." ]

[ "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly." ]

[ "\n\nMy first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "She sat down on the\nground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head\nupon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian.", "I was the\nfirst who spoke--\n\n\"Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a\nliar?\"", "\"Everybody, Jane?", "Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you\ncalled so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.\"", "\"But what have I to do with millions?", "The eighty, I know, despise me.\"", "\"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises\nor dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.\"", "\"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?\"", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man:\nhe is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked.", "Had\nhe treated you as an especial favourite, you would have found enemies,\ndeclared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would\noffer you sympathy if they dared.", "Teachers and pupils may look coldly on\nyou for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their\nhearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long\nappear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression.", "Besides, Jane\"--she paused.", "\"Well, Helen?\"", "said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers\ngently to warm them, and went on--\n\n\"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own\nconscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be\nwithout friends.\"", "\"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if\nothers don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be\nsolitary and hated, Helen.", "Look here; to gain some real affection from\nyou, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly\nsubmit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to\nstand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest--\"\n\n\"Hush, Jane!", "you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too\nimpulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and\nput life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble\nself, or than creatures feeble as you.", "Besides this earth, and besides\nthe race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits:\nthat world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us,\nfor they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and\nshame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see\nour tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you\nare of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously\nrepeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in\nyour ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the\nseparation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward.", "Why,\nthen, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon\nover, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?\"", "I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted\nthere was an alloy of inexpressible sadness.", "I felt the impression of\nwoe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came; and when, having\ndone speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I\nmomentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her.", "Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she\ndrew me to her, and we reposed in silence.", "We had not sat long thus,\nwhen another person came in.", "Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a\nrising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through\na window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which\nwe at once recognised as Miss Temple.", "\"I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre,\" said she; \"I want you in my\nroom; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too.\"", "We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some\nintricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her\napartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful.", "Miss Temple\ntold Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one side of the\nhearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side.", "\"Is it all over?\"", "she asked, looking down at my face.", "\"Have you cried\nyour grief away?\"", "\"I am afraid I never shall do that.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else,\nwill now think me wicked.\"", "\"We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.", "Continue to\nact as a good girl, and you will satisfy us.\"", "\"Shall I, Miss Temple?\"", "\"You will,\" said she, passing her arm round me.", "\"And now tell me who is\nthe lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?\"", "\"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife.", "My uncle is dead, and he left me to her\ncare.\"", "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns.", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "Have you coughed much to-day?\"", "\"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.\"", "\"And the pain in your chest?\"", "\"It is a little better.\"", "Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then she\nreturned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low.", "She\nwas pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully--\n\n\"But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.\"", "She\nrang her bell.", "\"Barbara,\" she said to the servant who answered it, \"I have not yet had\ntea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.\"", "And a tray was soon brought.", "How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups\nand bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire!", "How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast!", "of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry)\ndiscerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.", "\"Barbara,\" said she, \"can you not bring a little more bread and butter?", "There is not enough for three.\"", "Barbara went out: she returned soon--\n\n\"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.\"", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.", "\"Oh, very well!\"", "returned Miss Temple; \"we must make it do, Barbara, I\nsuppose.\"", "And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling, \"Fortunately, I\nhave it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once.\"", "Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each\nof us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got\nup, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper,\ndisclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.", "\"I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you,\" said she,\n\"but as there is so little toast, you must have it now,\" and she\nproceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.", "We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least\ndelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which\nour hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the\ndelicate fare she liberally supplied.", "Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat\none on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and\nHelen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.", "Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state in her\nmien, of refined propriety in her language, which precluded deviation\ninto the ardent, the excited, the eager: something which chastened the\npleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling\nsense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns, I was\nstruck with wonder.", "The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her\nbeloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her\nown unique mind, had roused her powers within her.", "They woke, they\nkindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till\nthis hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the\nliquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more\nsingular than that of Miss Temple's--a beauty neither of fine colour nor\nlong eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of\nradiance.", "Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what\nsource I cannot tell.", "Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough,\nvigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid\neloquence?", "Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to\nme, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very\nbrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.", "They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past;\nof countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at:\nthey spoke of books: how many they had read!", "What stores of knowledge\nthey possessed!", "Then they seemed so familiar with French names and\nFrench authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple\nasked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her\nfather had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and\nconstrue a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration\nexpanding at every sounding line.", "She had scarcely finished ere the bell\nannounced bedtime!", "no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us\nboth, saying, as she drew us to her heart--\n\n\"God bless you, my children!\"", "Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly;\nit was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second\ntime breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.", "On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was\nexamining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we\nentered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow\nshe should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her\nshoulder.", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"", "Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece\nof pasteboard the word \"Slattern,\" and bound it like a phylactery round\nHelen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead.", "She wore\nit till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved\npunishment.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too\nimpulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and\nput life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble\nself, or than creatures feeble as you.", "Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a\nrising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through\na window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which\nwe at once recognised as Miss Temple.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "\"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.\"", "of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry)\ndiscerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.", "returned Miss Temple; \"we must make it do, Barbara, I\nsuppose.\"", "Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each\nof us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got\nup, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper,\ndisclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.", "We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least\ndelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which\nour hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the\ndelicate fare she liberally supplied.", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"" ]

[ "\"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else,\nwill now think me wicked.\"", "They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past;\nof countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at:\nthey spoke of books: how many they had read!", "She wore\nit till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved\npunishment.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you\ncalled so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was\nexamining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we\nentered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow\nshe should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her\nshoulder.", "How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast!", "Then they seemed so familiar with French names and\nFrench authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple\nasked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her\nfather had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and\nconstrue a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration\nexpanding at every sounding line.", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron." ]

[ "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "All this I enjoyed often\nand fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for this unwonted liberty\nand pleasure there was a cause, to which it now becomes my task to\nadvert.", "Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when I speak of it\nas bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from the verge of a stream?", "Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not is another\nquestion.", "That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred\npestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the\nOrphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and\ndormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an\nhospital.", "Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of the pupils to\nreceive infection: forty-five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one\ntime.", "Classes were broken up, rules relaxed.", "The few who continued well\nwere allowed almost unlimited license; because the medical attendant\ninsisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them in health:\nand had it been otherwise, no one had leisure to watch or restrain them.", "Miss Temple's whole attention was absorbed by the patients: she lived in\nthe sick-room, never quitting it except to snatch a few hours' rest at\nnight.", "The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other\nnecessary preparations for the departure of those girls who were\nfortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove\nthem from the seat of contagion.", "Many, already smitten, went home only\nto die: some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the\nnature of the malady forbidding delay.", "While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood, and death its\nfrequent visitor; while there was gloom and fear within its walls; while\nits rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drug and the\npastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality, that\nbright May shone unclouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland out\nof doors.", "Its garden, too, glowed with flowers: hollyhocks had sprung up\ntall as trees, lilies had opened, tulips and roses were in bloom; the\nborders of the little beds were gay with pink thrift and crimson double\ndaisies; the sweetbriars gave out, morning and evening, their scent of\nspice and apples; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for most\nof the inmates of Lowood, except to furnish now and then a handful of\nherbs and blossoms to put in a coffin.", "But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the\nscene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from\nmorning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived\nbetter too.", "Mr. Brocklehurst and his family never came near Lowood now:\nhousehold matters were not scrutinised into; the cross housekeeper was\ngone, driven away by the fear of infection; her successor, who had been\nmatron at the Lowton Dispensary, unused to the ways of her new abode,\nprovided with comparative liberality.", "Besides, there were fewer to feed;\nthe sick could eat little; our breakfast-basins were better filled; when\nthere was no time to prepare a regular dinner, which often happened, she\nwould give us a large piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and\ncheese, and this we carried away with us to the wood, where we each chose\nthe spot we liked best, and dined sumptuously.", "My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising white and dry from\nthe very middle of the beck, and only to be got at by wading through the\nwater; a feat I accomplished barefoot.", "The stone was just broad enough\nto accommodate, comfortably, another girl and me, at that time my chosen\ncomrade--one Mary Ann Wilson; a shrewd, observant personage, whose\nsociety I took pleasure in, partly because she was witty and original,\nand partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease.", "Some years\nolder than I, she knew more of the world, and could tell me many things I\nliked to hear: with her my curiosity found gratification: to my faults\nalso she gave ample indulgence, never imposing curb or rein on anything I\nsaid.", "She had a turn for narrative, I for analysis; she liked to inform,\nI to question; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much\nentertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual intercourse.", "And where, meantime, was Helen Burns?", "Why did I not spend these sweet\ndays of liberty with her?", "Had I forgotten her?", "or was I so worthless as\nto have grown tired of her pure society?", "Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I\nhave mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance: she could only tell\nme amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose\nto indulge in; while, if I have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified\nto give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far\nhigher things.", "True, reader; and I knew and felt this: and though I am a defective\nbeing, with many faults and few redeeming points, yet I never tired of\nHelen Burns; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of\nattachment, as strong, tender, and respectful as any that ever animated\nmy heart.", "How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under\nall circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which\nill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled?", "But Helen was\nill at present: for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I\nknew not what room upstairs.", "She was not, I was told, in the hospital\nportion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was\nconsumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance,\nunderstood something mild, which time and care would be sure to\nalleviate.", "I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming\ndownstairs on very warm sunny afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple\ninto the garden; but, on these occasions, I was not allowed to go and\nspeak to her; I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not\ndistinctly; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a distance under the\nverandah.", "One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out very late with\nMary Ann in the wood; we had, as usual, separated ourselves from the\nothers, and had wandered far; so far that we lost our way, and had to ask\nit at a lonely cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a\nherd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood.", "When we got\nback, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's,\nwas standing at the garden door.", "Mary Ann remarked that she supposed\nsome one must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time of\nthe evening.", "She went into the house; I stayed behind a few minutes to\nplant in my garden a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and\nwhich I feared would wither if I left them till the morning.", "This done,\nI lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew\nfell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still\nglowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon\nrose with such majesty in the grave east.", "I was noting these things and\nenjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never\ndone before:--\n\n\"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying!", "This world is pleasant--it would be dreary to be called from it, and to\nhave to go who knows where?\"", "And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had\nbeen infused into it concerning heaven and hell; and for the first time\nit recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each\nside, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one\npoint where it stood--the present; all the rest was formless cloud and\nvacant depth; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging\namid that chaos.", "While pondering this new idea, I heard the front door\nopen; Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse.", "After she had seen\nhim mount his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I\nran up to her.", "\"How is Helen Burns?\"", "\"Very poorly,\" was the answer.", "\"Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what does he say about her?\"", "\"He says she'll not be here long.\"", "This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have only conveyed\nthe notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own\nhome.", "I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying; but I\nknew instantly now!", "It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns\nwas numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be\ntaken to the region of spirits, if such region there were.", "I experienced\na shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire--a\nnecessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay.", "\"She is in Miss Temple's room,\" said the nurse.", "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness.", "Indisposed to hesitate, and full of impatient\nimpulses--soul and senses quivering with keen throes--I put it back and\nlooked in.", "My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.", "Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its white curtains,\nthere stood a little crib.", "I saw the outline of a form under the\nclothes, but the face was hid by the hangings: the nurse I had spoken to\nin the garden sat in an easy-chair asleep; an unsnuffed candle burnt\ndimly on the table.", "Miss Temple was not to be seen: I knew afterwards\nthat she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-room.", "I\nadvanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I\npreferred speaking before I withdrew it.", "I still recoiled at the dread\nof seeing a corpse.", "\"Helen!\"", "I whispered softly, \"are you awake?\"", "She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I saw her face, pale,\nwasted, but quite composed: she looked so little changed that my fear was\ninstantly dissipated.", "\"Can it be you, Jane?\"", "she asked, in her own gentle voice.", "\"Oh!\"", "I thought, \"she is not going to die; they are mistaken: she could\nnot speak and look so calmly if she were.\"", "I got on to her crib and kissed her: her forehead was cold, and her cheek\nboth cold and thin, and so were her hand and wrist; but she smiled as of\nold.", "\"Why are you come here, Jane?", "It is past eleven o'clock: I heard it\nstrike some minutes since.\"", "\"I came to see you, Helen: I heard you were very ill, and I could not\nsleep till I had spoken to you.\"", "\"You came to bid me good-bye, then: you are just in time probably.\"", "\"Are you going somewhere, Helen?", "Are you going home?\"", "\"Yes; to my long home--my last home.\"", "\"No, no, Helen!\"", "I stopped, distressed.", "While I tried to devour my\ntears, a fit of coughing seized Helen; it did not, however, wake the\nnurse; when it was over, she lay some minutes exhausted; then she\nwhispered--\n\n\"Jane, your little feet are bare; lie down and cover yourself with my\nquilt.\"", "I did so: she put her arm over me, and I nestled close to her.", "After a\nlong silence, she resumed, still whispering--\n\n\"I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be\nsure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about.", "We all must die\none day, and the illness which is removing me is not painful; it is\ngentle and gradual: my mind is at rest.", "I leave no one to regret me\nmuch: I have only a father; and he is lately married, and will not miss\nme.", "By dying young, I shall escape great sufferings.", "I had not\nqualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have\nbeen continually at fault.\"", "\"But where are you going to, Helen?", "Can you see?", "Do you know?\"", "\"I believe; I have faith: I am going to God.\"", "\"Where is God?", "What is God?\"", "\"My Maker and yours, who will never destroy what He created.", "I rely\nimplicitly on His power, and confide wholly in His goodness: I count the\nhours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him,\nreveal Him to me.\"", "\"You are sure, then, Helen, that there is such a place as heaven, and\nthat our souls can get to it when we die?\"", "\"I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign\nmy immortal part to Him without any misgiving.", "God is my father; God is\nmy friend: I love Him; I believe He loves me.\"", "\"And shall I see you again, Helen, when I die?\"", "\"You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same\nmighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.\"", "Again I questioned, but this time only in thought.", "\"Where is that\nregion?", "Does it exist?\"", "And I clasped my arms closer round Helen; she\nseemed dearer to me than ever; I felt as if I could not let her go; I lay\nwith my face hidden on her neck.", "Presently she said, in the sweetest\ntone--\n\n\"How comfortable I am!", "That last fit of coughing has tired me a little;\nI feel as if I could sleep: but don't leave me, Jane; I like to have you\nnear me.\"", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "Classes were broken up, rules relaxed.", "The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other\nnecessary preparations for the departure of those girls who were\nfortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove\nthem from the seat of contagion.", "When we got\nback, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's,\nwas standing at the garden door.", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "I saw the outline of a form under the\nclothes, but the face was hid by the hangings: the nurse I had spoken to\nin the garden sat in an easy-chair asleep; an unsnuffed candle burnt\ndimly on the table.", "I\nadvanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I\npreferred speaking before I withdrew it.", "I still recoiled at the dread\nof seeing a corpse.", "Can you see?", "\"Where is that\nregion?", "\"Yes.\"" ]

[ "I still recoiled at the dread\nof seeing a corpse.", "It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns\nwas numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be\ntaken to the region of spirits, if such region there were.", "But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the\nscene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from\nmorning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived\nbetter too.", "\"Oh!\"", "I leave no one to regret me\nmuch: I have only a father; and he is lately married, and will not miss\nme.", "\"I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign\nmy immortal part to Him without any misgiving.", "That last fit of coughing has tired me a little;\nI feel as if I could sleep: but don't leave me, Jane; I like to have you\nnear me.\"", "I\nadvanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I\npreferred speaking before I withdrew it.", "My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.", "\"You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same\nmighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.\"" ]

[ "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "During these eight years my life was uniform: but not unhappy, because it\nwas not inactive.", "I had the means of an excellent education placed\nwithin my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and a desire to excel\nin all, together with a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially\nsuch as I loved, urged me on: I availed myself fully of the advantages\noffered me.", "In time I rose to be the first girl of the first class; then\nI was invested with the office of teacher; which I discharged with zeal\nfor two years: but at the end of that time I altered.", "Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued superintendent\nof the seminary: to her instruction I owed the best part of my\nacquirements; her friendship and society had been my continual solace;\nshe had stood me in the stead of mother, governess, and, latterly,\ncompanion.", "At this period she married, removed with her husband (a\nclergyman, an excellent man, almost worthy of such a wife) to a distant\ncounty, and consequently was lost to me.", "From the day she left I was no longer the same: with her was gone every\nsettled feeling, every association that had made Lowood in some degree a\nhome to me.", "I had imbibed from her something of her nature and much of\nher habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemed better regulated\nfeelings had become the inmates of my mind.", "I had given in allegiance to\nduty and order; I was quiet; I believed I was content: to the eyes of\nothers, usually even to my own, I appeared a disciplined and subdued\ncharacter.", "But destiny, in the shape of the Rev.", "Mr. Nasmyth, came between me and\nMiss Temple: I saw her in her travelling dress step into a post-chaise,\nshortly after the marriage ceremony; I watched the chaise mount the hill\nand disappear beyond its brow; and then retired to my own room, and there\nspent in solitude the greatest part of the half-holiday granted in honour\nof the occasion.", "I walked about the chamber most of the time.", "I imagined myself only to\nbe regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when my\nreflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that the afternoon\nwas gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawned on me,\nnamely, that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process; that\nmy mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple--or rather that\nshe had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her\nvicinity--and that now I was left in my natural element, and beginning to\nfeel the stirring of old emotions.", "It did not seem as if a prop were\nwithdrawn, but rather as if a motive were gone: it was not the power to\nbe tranquil which had failed me, but the reason for tranquillity was no\nmore.", "My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been\nof its rules and systems; now I remembered that the real world was wide,\nand that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and\nexcitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse,\nto seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.", "I went to my window, opened it, and looked out.", "There were the two wings\nof the building; there was the garden; there were the skirts of Lowood;\nthere was the hilly horizon.", "My eye passed all other objects to rest on\nthose most remote, the blue peaks; it was those I longed to surmount; all\nwithin their boundary of rock and heath seemed prison-ground, exile\nlimits.", "I traced the white road winding round the base of one mountain,\nand vanishing in a gorge between two; how I longed to follow it farther!", "I recalled the time when I had travelled that very road in a coach; I\nremembered descending that hill at twilight; an age seemed to have\nelapsed since the day which brought me first to Lowood, and I had never\nquitted it since.", "My vacations had all been spent at school: Mrs. Reed\nhad never sent for me to Gateshead; neither she nor any of her family had\never been to visit me.", "I had had no communication by letter or message\nwith the outer world: school-rules, school-duties, school-habits and\nnotions, and voices, and faces, and phrases, and costumes, and\npreferences, and antipathies--such was what I knew of existence.", "And now\nI felt that it was not enough; I tired of the routine of eight years in\none afternoon.", "I desired liberty; for liberty I gasped; for liberty I\nuttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing.", "I\nabandoned it and framed a humbler supplication; for change, stimulus:\nthat petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space: \"Then,\" I cried,\nhalf desperate, \"grant me at least a new servitude!\"", "Here a bell, ringing the hour of supper, called me downstairs.", "I was not free to resume the interrupted chain of my reflections till\nbedtime: even then a teacher who occupied the same room with me kept me\nfrom the subject to which I longed to recur, by a prolonged effusion of\nsmall talk.", "How I wished sleep would silence her.", "It seemed as if,\ncould I but go back to the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood\nat the window, some inventive suggestion would rise for my relief.", "Miss Gryce snored at last; she was a heavy Welshwoman, and till now her\nhabitual nasal strains had never been regarded by me in any other light\nthan as a nuisance; to-night I hailed the first deep notes with\nsatisfaction; I was debarrassed of interruption; my half-effaced thought\ninstantly revived.", "\"A new servitude!", "There is something in that,\" I soliloquised (mentally,\nbe it understood; I did not talk aloud), \"I know there is, because it\ndoes not sound too sweet; it is not like such words as Liberty,\nExcitement, Enjoyment: delightful sounds truly; but no more than sounds\nfor me; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to\nlisten to them.", "But Servitude!", "That must be matter of fact.", "Any one\nmay serve: I have served here eight years; now all I want is to serve\nelsewhere.", "Can I not get so much of my own will?", "Is not the thing\nfeasible?", "Yes--yes--the end is not so difficult; if I had only a brain\nactive enough to ferret out the means of attaining it.\"", "I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain: it was a chilly\nnight; I covered my shoulders with a shawl, and then I proceeded _to\nthink_ again with all my might.", "\"What do I want?", "A new place, in a new house, amongst new faces, under\nnew circumstances: I want this because it is of no use wanting anything\nbetter.", "How do people do to get a new place?", "They apply to friends, I\nsuppose: I have no friends.", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "I could not tell: nothing answered me; I then ordered my brain to find a\nresponse, and quickly.", "It worked and worked faster: I felt the pulses\nthrob in my head and temples; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos;\nand no result came of its efforts.", "Feverish with vain labour, I got up\nand took a turn in the room; undrew the curtain, noted a star or two,\nshivered with cold, and again crept to bed.", "A kind fairy, in my absence, had surely dropped the required suggestion\non my pillow; for as I lay down, it came quietly and naturally to my\nmind.--\"Those who want situations advertise; you must advertise in the\n_---shire Herald_.\"", "\"How?", "I know nothing about advertising.\"", "Replies rose smooth and prompt now:--\n\n\"You must enclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under a\ncover directed to the editor of the _Herald_; you must put it, the first\nopportunity you have, into the post at Lowton; answers must be addressed\nto J.E., at the post-office there; you can go and inquire in about a week\nafter you send your letter, if any are come, and act accordingly.\"", "This scheme I went over twice, thrice; it was then digested in my mind; I\nhad it in a clear practical form: I felt satisfied, and fell asleep.", "With earliest day, I was up: I had my advertisement written, enclosed,\nand directed before the bell rang to rouse the school; it ran thus:--\n\n\"A young lady accustomed to tuition\" (had I not been a teacher two\nyears?)", "\"is desirous of meeting with a situation in a private family\nwhere the children are under fourteen\" (I thought that as I was barely\neighteen, it would not do to undertake the guidance of pupils nearer my\nown age).", "\"She is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English\neducation, together with French, Drawing, and Music\" (in those days,\nreader, this now narrow catalogue of accomplishments, would have been\nheld tolerably comprehensive).", "\"Address, J.E., Post-office, Lowton, ---\nshire.\"", "This document remained locked in my drawer all day: after tea, I asked\nleave of the new superintendent to go to Lowton, in order to perform some\nsmall commissions for myself and one or two of my fellow-teachers;\npermission was readily granted; I went.", "It was a walk of two miles, and\nthe evening was wet, but the days were still long; I visited a shop or\ntwo, slipped the letter into the post-office, and came back through heavy\nrain, with streaming garments, but with a relieved heart.", "The succeeding week seemed long: it came to an end at last, however, like\nall sublunary things, and once more, towards the close of a pleasant\nautumn day, I found myself afoot on the road to Lowton.", "A picturesque\ntrack it was, by the way; lying along the side of the beck and through\nthe sweetest curves of the dale: but that day I thought more of the\nletters, that might or might not be awaiting me at the little burgh\nwhither I was bound, than of the charms of lea and water.", "My ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured for a pair of\nshoes; so I discharged that business first, and when it was done, I\nstepped across the clean and quiet little street from the shoemaker's to\nthe post-office: it was kept by an old dame, who wore horn spectacles on\nher nose, and black mittens on her hands.", "\"Are there any letters for J.E.?\"", "I asked.", "She peered at me over her spectacles, and then she opened a drawer and\nfumbled among its contents for a long time, so long that my hopes began\nto falter.", "At last, having held a document before her glasses for nearly\nfive minutes, she presented it across the counter, accompanying the act\nby another inquisitive and mistrustful glance--it was for J.E.", "\"Is there only one?\"", "I demanded.", "\"There are no more,\" said she; and I put it in my pocket and turned my\nface homeward: I could not open it then; rules obliged me to be back by\neight, and it was already half-past seven.", "Various duties awaited me on my arrival.", "I had to sit with the girls\nduring their hour of study; then it was my turn to read prayers; to see\nthem to bed: afterwards I supped with the other teachers.", "Even when we\nfinally retired for the night, the inevitable Miss Gryce was still my\ncompanion: we had only a short end of candle in our candlestick, and I\ndreaded lest she should talk till it was all burnt out; fortunately,\nhowever, the heavy supper she had eaten produced a soporific effect: she\nwas already snoring before I had finished undressing.", "There still\nremained an inch of candle: I now took out my letter; the seal was an\ninitial F.; I broke it; the contents were brief.", "\"If J.E., who advertised in the _---shire Herald_ of last Thursday,\npossesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she is in a position to give\nsatisfactory references as to character and competency, a situation can\nbe offered her where there is but one pupil, a little girl, under ten\nyears of age; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum.", "J.E.", "is\nrequested to send references, name, address, and all particulars to the\ndirection:--\n\n\"Mrs. Fairfax, Thornfield, near Millcote, ---shire.\"", "I examined the document long: the writing was old-fashioned and rather\nuncertain, like that of an elderly lady.", "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out.", "Next day new steps were to be taken; my plans could no longer be confined\nto my own breast; I must impart them in order to achieve their success.", "Having sought and obtained an audience of the superintendent during the\nnoontide recreation, I told her I had a prospect of getting a new\nsituation where the salary would be double what I now received (for at\nLowood I only got 15 pounds per annum); and requested she would break the\nmatter for me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee, and\nascertain whether they would permit me to mention them as references.", "She\nobligingly consented to act as mediatrix in the matter.", "The next day she\nlaid the affair before Mr. Brocklehurst, who said that Mrs. Reed must be\nwritten to, as she was my natural guardian.", "A note was accordingly\naddressed to that lady, who returned for answer, that \"I might do as I\npleased: she had long relinquished all interference in my affairs.\"", "This\nnote went the round of the committee, and at last, after what appeared to\nme most tedious delay, formal leave was given me to better my condition\nif I could; and an assurance added, that as I had always conducted myself\nwell, both as teacher and pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character\nand capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution, should\nforthwith be furnished me.", "This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month, forwarded a\ncopy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and got that lady's reply, stating that she\nwas satisfied, and fixing that day fortnight as the period for my\nassuming the post of governess in her house.", "I now busied myself in preparations: the fortnight passed rapidly.", "I had\nnot a very large wardrobe, though it was adequate to my wants; and the\nlast day sufficed to pack my trunk,--the same I had brought with me eight\nyears ago from Gateshead.", "The box was corded, the card nailed on.", "In half-an-hour the carrier was\nto call for it to take it to Lowton, whither I myself was to repair at an\nearly hour the next morning to meet the coach.", "I had brushed my black\nstuff travelling-dress, prepared my bonnet, gloves, and muff; sought in\nall my drawers to see that no article was left behind; and now having\nnothing more to do, I sat down and tried to rest.", "I could not; though I\nhad been on foot all day, I could not now repose an instant; I was too\nmuch excited.", "A phase of my life was closing to-night, a new one opening\nto-morrow: impossible to slumber in the interval; I must watch feverishly\nwhile the change was being accomplished.", "\"Miss,\" said a servant who met me in the lobby, where I was wandering\nlike a troubled spirit, \"a person below wishes to see you.\"", "\"The carrier, no doubt,\" I thought, and ran downstairs without inquiry.", "I\nwas passing the back-parlour or teachers' sitting-room, the door of which\nwas half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one ran out--\n\n\"It's her, I am sure!--I could have told her anywhere!\"", "cried the\nindividual who stopped my progress and took my hand.", "I looked: I saw a woman attired like a well-dressed servant, matronly,\nyet still young; very good-looking, with black hair and eyes, and lively\ncomplexion.", "\"Well, who is it?\"", "she asked, in a voice and with a smile I half\nrecognised; \"you've not quite forgotten me, I think, Miss Jane?\"", "In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously: \"Bessie!", "Bessie!", "Bessie!\"", "that was all I said; whereat she half laughed, half\ncried, and we both went into the parlour.", "By the fire stood a little\nfellow of three years old, in plaid frock and trousers.", "\"That is my little boy,\" said Bessie directly.", "\"Then you are married, Bessie?\"", "\"Yes; nearly five years since to Robert Leaven, the coachman; and I've a\nlittle girl besides Bobby there, that I've christened Jane.\"", "\"And you don't live at Gateshead?\"", "\"I live at the lodge: the old porter has left.\"", "\"Well, and how do they all get on?", "Tell me everything about them,\nBessie: but sit down first; and, Bobby, come and sit on my knee, will\nyou?\"", "but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother.", "\"You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so very stout,\" continued\nMrs. Leaven.", "\"I dare say they've not kept you too well at school: Miss\nReed is the head and shoulders taller than you are; and Miss Georgiana\nwould make two of you in breadth.\"", "\"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie?\"", "\"Very.", "She went up to London last winter with her mama, and there\neverybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her: but his\nrelations were against the match; and--what do you think?--he and Miss\nGeorgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped.", "It\nwas Miss Reed that found them out: I believe she was envious; and now she\nand her sister lead a cat and dog life together; they are always\nquarrelling--\"\n\n\"Well, and what of John Reed?\"", "\"Oh, he is not doing so well as his mama could wish.", "He went to college,\nand he got--plucked, I think they call it: and then his uncles wanted him\nto be a barrister, and study the law: but he is such a dissipated young\nman, they will never make much of him, I think.\"", "\"What does he look like?\"", "\"He is very tall: some people call him a fine-looking young man; but he\nhas such thick lips.\"", "\"And Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"Missis looks stout and well enough in the face, but I think she's not\nquite easy in her mind: Mr. John's conduct does not please her--he spends\na deal of money.\"", "\"Did she send you here, Bessie?\"", "\"No, indeed: but I have long wanted to see you, and when I heard that\nthere had been a letter from you, and that you were going to another part\nof the country, I thought I'd just set off, and get a look at you before\nyou were quite out of my reach.\"", "\"I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie.\"", "I said this laughing:\nI perceived that Bessie's glance, though it expressed regard, did in no\nshape denote admiration.", "\"No, Miss Jane, not exactly: you are genteel enough; you look like a\nlady, and it is as much as ever I expected of you: you were no beauty as\na child.\"", "I smiled at Bessie's frank answer: I felt that it was correct, but I\nconfess I was not quite indifferent to its import: at eighteen most\npeople wish to please, and the conviction that they have not an exterior\nlikely to second that desire brings anything but gratification.", "\"I dare say you are clever, though,\" continued Bessie, by way of solace.", "\"What can you do?", "Can you play on the piano?\"", "\"A little.\"", "There was one in the room; Bessie went and opened it, and then asked me\nto sit down and give her a tune: I played a waltz or two, and she was\ncharmed.", "\"The Miss Reeds could not play as well!\"", "said she exultingly.", "\"I always\nsaid you would surpass them in learning: and can you draw?\"", "\"That is one of my paintings over the chimney-piece.\"", "It was a landscape\nin water colours, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in\nacknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf,\nand which she had framed and glazed.", "\"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane!", "It is as fine a picture as any Miss\nReed's drawing-master could paint, let alone the young ladies themselves,\nwho could not come near it: and have you learnt French?\"", "\"Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it.\"", "\"And you can work on muslin and canvas?\"", "\"I can.\"", "\"Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane!", "I knew you would be: you will get\non whether your relations notice you or not.", "There was something I\nwanted to ask you.", "Have you ever heard anything from your father's\nkinsfolk, the Eyres?\"", "\"Never in my life.\"", "\"Well, you know Missis always said they were poor and quite despicable:\nand they may be poor; but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds\nare; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead\nand wanted to see you; Missis said you were at school fifty miles off; he\nseemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay: he was going on a\nvoyage to a foreign country, and the ship was to sail from London in a\nday or two.", "He looked quite a gentleman, and I believe he was your\nfather's brother.\"", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "How I wished sleep would silence her.", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "There still\nremained an inch of candle: I now took out my letter; the seal was an\ninitial F.; I broke it; the contents were brief.", "\"If J.E., who advertised in the _---shire Herald_ of last Thursday,\npossesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she is in a position to give\nsatisfactory references as to character and competency, a situation can\nbe offered her where there is but one pupil, a little girl, under ten\nyears of age; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "In half-an-hour the carrier was\nto call for it to take it to Lowton, whither I myself was to repair at an\nearly hour the next morning to meet the coach.", "I\nwas passing the back-parlour or teachers' sitting-room, the door of which\nwas half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one ran out--\n\n\"It's her, I am sure!--I could have told her anywhere!\"", "Bessie!", "\"Then you are married, Bessie?\"", "said she exultingly." ]

[ "I examined the document long: the writing was old-fashioned and rather\nuncertain, like that of an elderly lady.", "\"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie?\"", "A note was accordingly\naddressed to that lady, who returned for answer, that \"I might do as I\npleased: she had long relinquished all interference in my affairs.\"", "It seemed as if,\ncould I but go back to the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood\nat the window, some inventive suggestion would rise for my relief.", "My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been\nof its rules and systems; now I remembered that the real world was wide,\nand that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and\nexcitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse,\nto seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.", "She went up to London last winter with her mama, and there\neverybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her: but his\nrelations were against the match; and--what do you think?--he and Miss\nGeorgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped.", "\"And you don't live at Gateshead?\"", "She peered at me over her spectacles, and then she opened a drawer and\nfumbled among its contents for a long time, so long that my hopes began\nto falter.", "\"So he went?\"", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution." ]

[ "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out." ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "\n\nA new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and\nwhen I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a\nroom in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on\nthe walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such\nornaments on the mantelpiece, such prints, including a portrait of George\nthe Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of\nthe death of Wolfe.", "All this is visible to you by the light of an oil\nlamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near\nwhich I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the\ntable, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen\nhours' exposure to the rawness of an October day: I left Lowton at four\no'clock a.m., and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight.", "Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in\nmy mind.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter\nif any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the\nnegative: so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private\nroom: and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are\ntroubling my thoughts.", "It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself\nquite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain\nwhether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by\nmany impediments from returning to that it has quitted.", "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "I bethought myself to ring\nthe bell.", "\"Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield?\"", "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "\"Thornfield?", "I don't know, ma'am; I'll inquire at the bar.\"", "He\nvanished, but reappeared instantly--\n\n\"Is your name Eyre, Miss?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Person here waiting for you.\"", "I jumped up, took my muff and umbrella, and hastened into the\ninn-passage: a man was standing by the open door, and in the lamp-lit\nstreet I dimly saw a one-horse conveyance.", "\"This will be your luggage, I suppose?\"", "said the man rather abruptly when\nhe saw me, pointing to my trunk in the passage.", "\"Yes.\"", "He hoisted it on to the vehicle, which was a sort of car, and\nthen I got in; before he shut me up, I asked him how far it was to\nThornfield.", "\"A matter of six miles.\"", "\"How long shall we be before we get there?\"", "\"Happen an hour and a half.\"", "He fastened the car door, climbed to his own seat outside, and we set\noff.", "Our progress was leisurely, and gave me ample time to reflect; I\nwas content to be at length so near the end of my journey; and as I\nleaned back in the comfortable though not elegant conveyance, I meditated\nmuch at my ease.", "\"I suppose,\" thought I, \"judging from the plainness of the servant and\ncarriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not a very dashing person: so much the better;\nI never lived amongst fine people but once, and I was very miserable with\nthem.", "I wonder if she lives alone except this little girl; if so, and if\nshe is in any degree amiable, I shall surely be able to get on with her;\nI will do my best; it is a pity that doing one's best does not always\nanswer.", "At Lowood, indeed, I took that resolution, kept it, and\nsucceeded in pleasing; but with Mrs. Reed, I remember my best was always\nspurned with scorn.", "I pray God Mrs. Fairfax may not turn out a second\nMrs. Reed; but if she does, I am not bound to stay with her!", "let the\nworst come to the worst, I can advertise again.", "How far are we on our\nroad now, I wonder?\"", "I let down the window and looked out; Millcote was behind us; judging by\nthe number of its lights, it seemed a place of considerable magnitude,\nmuch larger than Lowton.", "We were now, as far as I could see, on a sort\nof common; but there were houses scattered all over the district; I felt\nwe were in a different region to Lowood, more populous, less picturesque;\nmore stirring, less romantic.", "The roads were heavy, the night misty; my conductor let his horse walk\nall the way, and the hour and a half extended, I verily believe, to two\nhours; at last he turned in his seat and said--\n\n\"You're noan so far fro' Thornfield now.\"", "Again I looked out: we were passing a church; I saw its low broad tower\nagainst the sky, and its bell was tolling a quarter; I saw a narrow\ngalaxy of lights too, on a hillside, marking a village or hamlet.", "About\nten minutes after, the driver got down and opened a pair of gates: we\npassed through, and they clashed to behind us.", "We now slowly ascended a\ndrive, and came upon the long front of a house: candlelight gleamed from\none curtained bow-window; all the rest were dark.", "The car stopped at the\nfront door; it was opened by a maid-servant; I alighted and went in.", "\"Will you walk this way, ma'am?\"", "said the girl; and I followed her across\na square hall with high doors all round: she ushered me into a room whose\ndouble illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled me, contrasting\nas it did with the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours\ninured; when I could see, however, a cosy and agreeable picture presented\nitself to my view.", "A snug small room; a round table by a cheerful fire; an arm-chair high-\nbacked and old-fashioned, wherein sat the neatest imaginable little\nelderly lady, in widow's cap, black silk gown, and snowy muslin apron;\nexactly like what I had fancied Mrs. Fairfax, only less stately and\nmilder looking.", "She was occupied in knitting; a large cat sat demurely\nat her feet; nothing in short was wanting to complete the beau-ideal of\ndomestic comfort.", "A more reassuring introduction for a new governess\ncould scarcely be conceived; there was no grandeur to overwhelm, no\nstateliness to embarrass; and then, as I entered, the old lady got up and\npromptly and kindly came forward to meet me.", "\"How do you do, my dear?", "I am afraid you have had a tedious ride; John\ndrives so slowly; you must be cold, come to the fire.\"", "\"Mrs. Fairfax, I suppose?\"", "said I.", "\"Yes, you are right: do sit down.\"", "She conducted me to her own chair, and then began to remove my shawl and\nuntie my bonnet-strings; I begged she would not give herself so much\ntrouble.", "\"Oh, it is no trouble; I dare say your own hands are almost numbed with\ncold.", "Leah, make a little hot negus and cut a sandwich or two: here are\nthe keys of the storeroom.\"", "And she produced from her pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys, and\ndelivered them to the servant.", "\"Now, then, draw nearer to the fire,\" she continued.", "\"You've brought\nyour luggage with you, haven't you, my dear?\"", "\"Yes, ma'am.\"", "\"I'll see it carried into your room,\" she said, and bustled out.", "\"She treats me like a visitor,\" thought I.", "\"I little expected such a\nreception; I anticipated only coldness and stiffness: this is not like\nwhat I have heard of the treatment of governesses; but I must not exult\ntoo soon.\"", "She returned; with her own hands cleared her knitting apparatus and a\nbook or two from the table, to make room for the tray which Leah now\nbrought, and then herself handed me the refreshments.", "I felt rather\nconfused at being the object of more attention than I had ever before\nreceived, and, that too, shown by my employer and superior; but as she\ndid not herself seem to consider she was doing anything out of her place,\nI thought it better to take her civilities quietly.", "\"Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to-night?\"", "I asked,\nwhen I had partaken of what she offered me.", "\"What did you say, my dear?", "I am a little deaf,\" returned the good lady,\napproaching her ear to my mouth.", "I repeated the question more distinctly.", "\"Miss Fairfax?", "Oh, you mean Miss Varens!", "Varens is the name of your\nfuture pupil.\"", "\"Indeed!", "Then she is not your daughter?\"", "\"No,--I have no family.\"", "I should have followed up my first inquiry, by asking in what way Miss\nVarens was connected with her; but I recollected it was not polite to ask\ntoo many questions: besides, I was sure to hear in time.", "\"I am so glad,\" she continued, as she sat down opposite to me, and took\nthe cat on her knee; \"I am so glad you are come; it will be quite\npleasant living here now with a companion.", "To be sure it is pleasant at\nany time; for Thornfield is a fine old hall, rather neglected of late\nyears perhaps, but still it is a respectable place; yet you know in\nwinter-time one feels dreary quite alone in the best quarters.", "I say\nalone--Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John and his wife are very\ndecent people; but then you see they are only servants, and one can't\nconverse with them on terms of equality: one must keep them at due\ndistance, for fear of losing one's authority.", "I'm sure last winter (it\nwas a very severe one, if you recollect, and when it did not snow, it\nrained and blew), not a creature but the butcher and postman came to the\nhouse, from November till February; and I really got quite melancholy\nwith sitting night after night alone; I had Leah in to read to me\nsometimes; but I don't think the poor girl liked the task much: she felt\nit confining.", "In spring and summer one got on better: sunshine and long\ndays make such a difference; and then, just at the commencement of this\nautumn, little Adela Varens came and her nurse: a child makes a house\nalive all at once; and now you are here I shall be quite gay.\"", "My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew\nmy chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she\nmight find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.", "\"But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night,\" said she; \"it is on the\nstroke of twelve now, and you have been travelling all day: you must feel\ntired.", "If you have got your feet well warmed, I'll show you your\nbedroom.", "I've had the room next to mine prepared for you; it is only a\nsmall apartment, but I thought you would like it better than one of the\nlarge front chambers: to be sure they have finer furniture, but they are\nso dreary and solitary, I never sleep in them myself.\"", "I thanked her for her considerate choice, and as I really felt fatigued\nwith my long journey, expressed my readiness to retire.", "She took her\ncandle, and I followed her from the room.", "First she went to see if the\nhall-door was fastened; having taken the key from the lock, she led the\nway upstairs.", "The steps and banisters were of oak; the staircase window\nwas high and latticed; both it and the long gallery into which the\nbedroom doors opened looked as if they belonged to a church rather than a\nhouse.", "A very chill and vault-like air pervaded the stairs and gallery,\nsuggesting cheerless ideas of space and solitude; and I was glad, when\nfinally ushered into my chamber, to find it of small dimensions, and\nfurnished in ordinary, modern style.", "When Mrs. Fairfax had bidden me a kind good-night, and I had fastened my\ndoor, gazed leisurely round, and in some measure effaced the eerie\nimpression made by that wide hall, that dark and spacious staircase, and\nthat long, cold gallery, by the livelier aspect of my little room, I\nremembered that, after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety, I was\nnow at last in safe haven.", "The impulse of gratitude swelled my heart,\nand I knelt down at the bedside, and offered up thanks where thanks were\ndue; not forgetting, ere I rose, to implore aid on my further path, and\nthe power of meriting the kindness which seemed so frankly offered me\nbefore it was earned.", "My couch had no thorns in it that night; my\nsolitary room no fears.", "At once weary and content, I slept soon and\nsoundly: when I awoke it was broad day.", "The chamber looked such a bright little place to me as the sun shone in\nbetween the gay blue chintz window curtains, showing papered walls and a\ncarpeted floor, so unlike the bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood,\nthat my spirits rose at the view.", "Externals have a great effect on the\nyoung: I thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for me, one that\nwas to have its flowers and pleasures, as well as its thorns and toils.", "My faculties, roused by the change of scene, the new field offered to\nhope, seemed all astir.", "I cannot precisely define what they expected,\nbut it was something pleasant: not perhaps that day or that month, but at\nan indefinite future period.", "I rose; I dressed myself with care: obliged to be plain--for I had no\narticle of attire that was not made with extreme simplicity--I was still\nby nature solicitous to be neat.", "It was not my habit to be disregardful\nof appearance or careless of the impression I made: on the contrary, I\never wished to look as well as I could, and to please as much as my want\nof beauty would permit.", "I sometimes regretted that I was not handsomer;\nI sometimes wished to have rosy cheeks, a straight nose, and small cherry\nmouth; I desired to be tall, stately, and finely developed in figure; I\nfelt it a misfortune that I was so little, so pale, and had features so\nirregular and so marked.", "And why had I these aspirations and these\nregrets?", "It would be difficult to say: I could not then distinctly say\nit to myself; yet I had a reason, and a logical, natural reason too.", "However, when I had brushed my hair very smooth, and put on my black\nfrock--which, Quakerlike as it was, at least had the merit of fitting to\na nicety--and adjusted my clean white tucker, I thought I should do\nrespectably enough to appear before Mrs. Fairfax, and that my new pupil\nwould not at least recoil from me with antipathy.", "Having opened my\nchamber window, and seen that I left all things straight and neat on the\ntoilet table, I ventured forth.", "Traversing the long and matted gallery, I descended the slippery steps of\noak; then I gained the hall: I halted there a minute; I looked at some\npictures on the walls (one, I remember, represented a grim man in a\ncuirass, and one a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace), at a\nbronze lamp pendent from the ceiling, at a great clock whose case was of\noak curiously carved, and ebon black with time and rubbing.", "Everything\nappeared very stately and imposing to me; but then I was so little\naccustomed to grandeur.", "The hall-door, which was half of glass, stood\nopen; I stepped over the threshold.", "It was a fine autumn morning; the\nearly sun shone serenely on embrowned groves and still green fields;\nadvancing on to the lawn, I looked up and surveyed the front of the\nmansion.", "It was three storeys high, of proportions not vast, though\nconsiderable: a gentleman's manor-house, not a nobleman's seat:\nbattlements round the top gave it a picturesque look.", "Its grey front\nstood out well from the background of a rookery, whose cawing tenants\nwere now on the wing: they flew over the lawn and grounds to alight in a\ngreat meadow, from which these were separated by a sunk fence, and where\nan array of mighty old thorn trees, strong, knotty, and broad as oaks, at\nonce explained the etymology of the mansion's designation.", "Farther off\nwere hills: not so lofty as those round Lowood, nor so craggy, nor so\nlike barriers of separation from the living world; but yet quiet and\nlonely hills enough, and seeming to embrace Thornfield with a seclusion I\nhad not expected to find existent so near the stirring locality of\nMillcote.", "A little hamlet, whose roofs were blent with trees, straggled\nup the side of one of these hills; the church of the district stood\nnearer Thornfield: its old tower-top looked over a knoll between the\nhouse and gates.", "I was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant fresh air, yet\nlistening with delight to the cawing of the rooks, yet surveying the\nwide, hoary front of the hall, and thinking what a great place it was for\none lonely little dame like Mrs. Fairfax to inhabit, when that lady\nappeared at the door.", "\"What!", "out already?\"", "said she.", "\"I see you are an early riser.\"", "I went\nup to her, and was received with an affable kiss and shake of the hand.", "\"How do you like Thornfield?\"", "she asked.", "I told her I liked it very\nmuch.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"it is a pretty place; but I fear it will be getting out\nof order, unless Mr. Rochester should take it into his head to come and\nreside here permanently; or, at least, visit it rather oftener: great\nhouses and fine grounds require the presence of the proprietor.\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester!\"", "I exclaimed.", "\"Who is he?\"", "\"The owner of Thornfield,\" she responded quietly.", "\"Did you not know he\nwas called Rochester?\"", "Of course I did not--I had never heard of him before; but the old lady\nseemed to regard his existence as a universally understood fact, with\nwhich everybody must be acquainted by instinct.", "\"I thought,\" I continued, \"Thornfield belonged to you.\"", "\"To me?", "Bless you, child; what an idea!", "To me!", "I am only the\nhousekeeper--the manager.", "To be sure I am distantly related to the\nRochesters by the mother's side, or at least my husband was; he was a\nclergyman, incumbent of Hay--that little village yonder on the hill--and\nthat church near the gates was his.", "The present Mr. Rochester's mother\nwas a Fairfax, and second cousin to my husband: but I never presume on\nthe connection--in fact, it is nothing to me; I consider myself quite in\nthe light of an ordinary housekeeper: my employer is always civil, and I\nexpect nothing more.\"", "\"And the little girl--my pupil!\"", "\"She is Mr. Rochester's ward; he commissioned me to find a governess for\nher.", "He intended to have her brought up in ---shire, I believe.", "Here\nshe comes, with her 'bonne,' as she calls her nurse.\"", "The enigma then\nwas explained: this affable and kind little widow was no great dame; but\na dependant like myself.", "I did not like her the worse for that; on the\ncontrary, I felt better pleased than ever.", "The equality between her and\nme was real; not the mere result of condescension on her part: so much\nthe better--my position was all the freer.", "As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl, followed by her\nattendant, came running up the lawn.", "I looked at my pupil, who did not\nat first appear to notice me: she was quite a child, perhaps seven or\neight years old, slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a\nredundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.", "\"Good morning, Miss Adela,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"", "She\napproached.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "said she, pointing to me, and addressing her\nnurse; who answered--\n\n\"Mais oui, certainement.\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "I inquired, amazed at hearing the French language.", "\"The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the Continent; and, I\nbelieve, never left it till within six months ago.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"", "Fortunately I had had the advantage of being taught French by a French\nlady; and as I had always made a point of conversing with Madame Pierrot\nas often as I could, and had besides, during the last seven years, learnt\na portion of French by heart daily--applying myself to take pains with my\naccent, and imitating as closely as possible the pronunciation of my\nteacher, I had acquired a certain degree of readiness and correctness in\nthe language, and was not likely to be much at a loss with Mademoiselle\nAdela.", "She came and shook hand with me when she heard that I was her\ngoverness; and as I led her in to breakfast, I addressed some phrases to\nher in her own tongue: she replied briefly at first, but after we were\nseated at the table, and she had examined me some ten minutes with her\nlarge hazel eyes, she suddenly commenced chattering fluently.", "\"Ah!\"", "cried she, in French, \"you speak my language as well as Mr.\nRochester does: I can talk to you as I can to him, and so can Sophie.", "She\nwill be glad: nobody here understands her: Madame Fairfax is all English.", "Sophie is my nurse; she came with me over the sea in a great ship with a\nchimney that smoked--how it did smoke!--and I was sick, and so was\nSophie, and so was Mr. Rochester.", "Mr. Rochester lay down on a sofa in a\npretty room called the salon, and Sophie and I had little beds in another\nplace.", "I nearly fell out of mine; it was like a shelf.", "And\nMademoiselle--what is your name?\"", "\"Eyre--Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Aire?", "Bah!", "I cannot say it.", "Well, our ship stopped in the morning,\nbefore it was quite daylight, at a great city--a huge city, with very\ndark houses and all smoky; not at all like the pretty clean town I came\nfrom; and Mr. Rochester carried me in his arms over a plank to the land,\nand Sophie came after, and we all got into a coach, which took us to a\nbeautiful large house, larger than this and finer, called an hotel.", "We\nstayed there nearly a week: I and Sophie used to walk every day in a\ngreat green place full of trees, called the Park; and there were many\nchildren there besides me, and a pond with beautiful birds in it, that I\nfed with crumbs.\"", "\"Can you understand her when she runs on so fast?\"", "asked Mrs. Fairfax.", "I understood her very well, for I had been accustomed to the fluent\ntongue of Madame Pierrot.", "\"I wish,\" continued the good lady, \"you would ask her a question or two\nabout her parents: I wonder if she remembers them?\"", "\"Adele,\" I inquired, \"with whom did you live when you were in that pretty\nclean town you spoke of?\"", "\"I lived long ago with mama; but she is gone to the Holy Virgin.", "Mama\nused to teach me to dance and sing, and to say verses.", "A great many\ngentlemen and ladies came to see mama, and I used to dance before them,\nor to sit on their knees and sing to them: I liked it.", "Shall I let you\nhear me sing now?\"", "She had finished her breakfast, so I permitted her to give a specimen of\nher accomplishments.", "Descending from her chair, she came and placed\nherself on my knee; then, folding her little hands demurely before her,\nshaking back her curls and lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced\nsinging a song from some opera.", "It was the strain of a forsaken lady,\nwho, after bewailing the perfidy of her lover, calls pride to her aid;\ndesires her attendant to deck her in her brightest jewels and richest\nrobes, and resolves to meet the false one that night at a ball, and prove\nto him, by the gaiety of her demeanour, how little his desertion has\naffected her.", "The subject seemed strangely chosen for an infant singer; but I suppose\nthe point of the exhibition lay in hearing the notes of love and jealousy\nwarbled with the lisp of childhood; and in very bad taste that point was:\nat least I thought so.", "Adele sang the canzonette tunefully enough, and with the _naivete_ of her\nage.", "This achieved, she jumped from my knee and said, \"Now,\nMademoiselle, I will repeat you some poetry.\"", "Assuming an attitude, she began, \"La Ligue des Rats: fable de La\nFontaine.\"", "She then declaimed the little piece with an attention to\npunctuation and emphasis, a flexibility of voice and an appropriateness\nof gesture, very unusual indeed at her age, and which proved she had been\ncarefully trained.", "\"Was it your mama who taught you that piece?\"", "I asked.", "\"Yes, and she just used to say it in this way: 'Qu' avez vous donc?", "lui\ndit un de ces rats; parlez!'", "She made me lift my hand--so--to remind me\nto raise my voice at the question.", "Now shall I dance for you?\"", "\"No, that will do: but after your mama went to the Holy Virgin, as you\nsay, with whom did you live then?\"", "\"With Madame Frederic and her husband: she took care of me, but she is\nnothing related to me.", "I think she is poor, for she had not so fine a\nhouse as mama.", "I was not long there.", "Mr. Rochester asked me if I would\nlike to go and live with him in England, and I said yes; for I knew Mr.\nRochester before I knew Madame Frederic, and he was always kind to me and\ngave me pretty dresses and toys: but you see he has not kept his word,\nfor he has brought me to England, and now he is gone back again himself,\nand I never see him.\"", "After breakfast, Adele and I withdrew to the library, which room, it\nappears, Mr. Rochester had directed should be used as the schoolroom.", "Most of the books were locked up behind glass doors; but there was one\nbookcase left open containing everything that could be needed in the way\nof elementary works, and several volumes of light literature, poetry,\nbiography, travels, a few romances, &c. I suppose he had considered that\nthese were all the governess would require for her private perusal; and,\nindeed, they contented me amply for the present; compared with the scanty\npickings I had now and then been able to glean at Lowood, they seemed to\noffer an abundant harvest of entertainment and information.", "In this\nroom, too, there was a cabinet piano, quite new and of superior tone;\nalso an easel for painting and a pair of globes.", "I found my pupil sufficiently docile, though disinclined to apply: she\nhad not been used to regular occupation of any kind.", "I felt it would be\ninjudicious to confine her too much at first; so, when I had talked to\nher a great deal, and got her to learn a little, and when the morning had\nadvanced to noon, I allowed her to return to her nurse.", "I then proposed\nto occupy myself till dinner-time in drawing some little sketches for her\nuse.", "As I was going upstairs to fetch my portfolio and pencils, Mrs. Fairfax\ncalled to me: \"Your morning school-hours are over now, I suppose,\" said\nshe.", "She was in a room the folding-doors of which stood open: I went in\nwhen she addressed me.", "It was a large, stately apartment, with purple\nchairs and curtains, a Turkey carpet, walnut-panelled walls, one vast\nwindow rich in slanted glass, and a lofty ceiling, nobly moulded.", "Mrs.\nFairfax was dusting some vases of fine purple spar, which stood on a\nsideboard.", "\"What a beautiful room!\"", "I exclaimed, as I looked round; for I had never\nbefore seen any half so imposing.", "\"Yes; this is the dining-room.", "I have just opened the window, to let in\na little air and sunshine; for everything gets so damp in apartments that\nare seldom inhabited; the drawing-room yonder feels like a vault.\"", "She pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the window, and hung like it\nwith a Tyrian-dyed curtain, now looped up.", "Mounting to it by two broad\nsteps, and looking through, I thought I caught a glimpse of a fairy\nplace, so bright to my novice-eyes appeared the view beyond.", "Yet it was\nmerely a very pretty drawing-room, and within it a boudoir, both spread\nwith white carpets, on which seemed laid brilliant garlands of flowers;\nboth ceiled with snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine-leaves, beneath\nwhich glowed in rich contrast crimson couches and ottomans; while the\nornaments on the pale Parian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian\nglass, ruby red; and between the windows large mirrors repeated the\ngeneral blending of snow and fire.", "\"In what order you keep these rooms, Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "said I.", "\"No dust, no\ncanvas coverings: except that the air feels chilly, one would think they\nwere inhabited daily.\"", "\"Why, Miss Eyre, though Mr. Rochester's visits here are rare, they are\nalways sudden and unexpected; and as I observed that it put him out to\nfind everything swathed up, and to have a bustle of arrangement on his\narrival, I thought it best to keep the rooms in readiness.\"", "\"Is Mr. Rochester an exacting, fastidious sort of man?\"", "\"Not particularly so; but he has a gentleman's tastes and habits, and he\nexpects to have things managed in conformity to them.\"", "\"Do you like him?", "Is he generally liked?\"", "\"Oh, yes; the family have always been respected here.", "Almost all the\nland in this neighbourhood, as far as you can see, has belonged to the\nRochesters time out of mind.\"", "\"Well, but, leaving his land out of the question, do you like him?", "Is he\nliked for himself?\"", "\"I have no cause to do otherwise than like him; and I believe he is\nconsidered a just and liberal landlord by his tenants: but he has never\nlived much amongst them.\"", "\"But has he no peculiarities?", "What, in short, is his character?\"", "\"Oh!", "his character is unimpeachable, I suppose.", "He is rather peculiar,\nperhaps: he has travelled a great deal, and seen a great deal of the\nworld, I should think.", "I dare say he is clever, but I never had much\nconversation with him.\"", "\"In what way is he peculiar?\"", "\"I don't know--it is not easy to describe--nothing striking, but you feel\nit when he speaks to you; you cannot be always sure whether he is in jest\nor earnest, whether he is pleased or the contrary; you don't thoroughly\nunderstand him, in short--at least, I don't: but it is of no consequence,\nhe is a very good master.\"", "This was all the account I got from Mrs. Fairfax of her employer and\nmine.", "There are people who seem to have no notion of sketching a\ncharacter, or observing and describing salient points, either in persons\nor things: the good lady evidently belonged to this class; my queries\npuzzled, but did not draw her out.", "Mr. Rochester was Mr. Rochester in\nher eyes; a gentleman, a landed proprietor--nothing more: she inquired\nand searched no further, and evidently wondered at my wish to gain a more\ndefinite notion of his identity.", "When we left the dining-room, she proposed to show me over the rest of\nthe house; and I followed her upstairs and downstairs, admiring as I\nwent; for all was well arranged and handsome.", "The large front chambers I\nthought especially grand: and some of the third-storey rooms, though dark\nand low, were interesting from their air of antiquity.", "The furniture\nonce appropriated to the lower apartments had from time to time been\nremoved here, as fashions changed: and the imperfect light entering by\ntheir narrow casement showed bedsteads of a hundred years old; chests in\noak or walnut, looking, with their strange carvings of palm branches and\ncherubs' heads, like types of the Hebrew ark; rows of venerable chairs,\nhigh-backed and narrow; stools still more antiquated, on whose cushioned\ntops were yet apparent traces of half-effaced embroideries, wrought by\nfingers that for two generations had been coffin-dust.", "All these relics\ngave to the third storey of Thornfield Hall the aspect of a home of the\npast: a shrine of memory.", "I liked the hush, the gloom, the quaintness of\nthese retreats in the day; but I by no means coveted a night's repose on\none of those wide and heavy beds: shut in, some of them, with doors of\noak; shaded, others, with wrought old English hangings crusted with thick\nwork, portraying effigies of strange flowers, and stranger birds, and\nstrangest human beings,--all which would have looked strange, indeed, by\nthe pallid gleam of moonlight.", "\"Do the servants sleep in these rooms?\"", "I asked.", "\"No; they occupy a range of smaller apartments to the back; no one ever\nsleeps here: one would almost say that, if there were a ghost at\nThornfield Hall, this would be its haunt.\"", "\"So I think: you have no ghost, then?\"", "\"None that I ever heard of,\" returned Mrs. Fairfax, smiling.", "\"Nor any traditions of one?", "no legends or ghost stories?\"", "\"I believe not.", "And yet it is said the Rochesters have been rather a\nviolent than a quiet race in their time: perhaps, though, that is the\nreason they rest tranquilly in their graves now.\"", "\"Yes--'after life's fitful fever they sleep well,'\" I muttered.", "\"Where\nare you going now, Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "for she was moving away.", "\"On to the leads; will you come and see the view from thence?\"", "I\nfollowed still, up a very narrow staircase to the attics, and thence by a\nladder and through a trap-door to the roof of the hall.", "I was now on a\nlevel with the crow colony, and could see into their nests.", "Leaning over\nthe battlements and looking far down, I surveyed the grounds laid out\nlike a map: the bright and velvet lawn closely girdling the grey base of\nthe mansion; the field, wide as a park, dotted with its ancient timber;\nthe wood, dun and sere, divided by a path visibly overgrown, greener with\nmoss than the trees were with foliage; the church at the gates, the road,\nthe tranquil hills, all reposing in the autumn day's sun; the horizon\nbounded by a propitious sky, azure, marbled with pearly white.", "No\nfeature in the scene was extraordinary, but all was pleasing.", "When I\nturned from it and repassed the trap-door, I could scarcely see my way\ndown the ladder; the attic seemed black as a vault compared with that\narch of blue air to which I had been looking up, and to that sunlit scene\nof grove, pasture, and green hill, of which the hall was the centre, and\nover which I had been gazing with delight.", "Mrs. Fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap-door; I, by drift\nof groping, found the outlet from the attic, and proceeded to descend the\nnarrow garret staircase.", "I lingered in the long passage to which this\nled, separating the front and back rooms of the third storey: narrow,\nlow, and dim, with only one little window at the far end, and looking,\nwith its two rows of small black doors all shut, like a corridor in some\nBluebeard's castle.", "While I paced softly on, the last sound I expected to hear in so still a\nregion, a laugh, struck my ear.", "It was a curious laugh; distinct,\nformal, mirthless.", "I stopped: the sound ceased, only for an instant; it\nbegan again, louder: for at first, though distinct, it was very low.", "It\npassed off in a clamorous peal that seemed to wake an echo in every\nlonely chamber; though it originated but in one, and I could have pointed\nout the door whence the accents issued.", "\"Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "I called out: for I now heard her descending the great\nstairs.", "\"Did you hear that loud laugh?", "Who is it?\"", "\"Some of the servants, very likely,\" she answered: \"perhaps Grace Poole.\"", "\"Did you hear it?\"", "I again inquired.", "\"Yes, plainly: I often hear her: she sews in one of these rooms.", "Sometimes Leah is with her; they are frequently noisy together.\"", "The laugh was repeated in its low, syllabic tone, and terminated in an\nodd murmur.", "\"Grace!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax.", "I really did not expect any Grace to answer; for the laugh was as tragic,\nas preternatural a laugh as any I ever heard; and, but that it was high\nnoon, and that no circumstance of ghostliness accompanied the curious\ncachinnation; but that neither scene nor season favoured fear, I should\nhave been superstitiously afraid.", "However, the event showed me I was a\nfool for entertaining a sense even of surprise.", "The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out,--a woman of between\nthirty and forty; a set, square-made figure, red-haired, and with a hard,\nplain face: any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely\nbe conceived.", "\"Too much noise, Grace,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Remember directions!\"", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "\"She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her housemaid's work,\"\ncontinued the widow; \"not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but\nshe does well enough.", "By-the-bye, how have you got on with your new\npupil this morning?\"", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below.", "Adele came running to meet us in the\nhall, exclaiming--\n\n\"Mesdames, vous etes servies!\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in Mrs. Fairfax's room." ]

[ "\"Yes, ma'am.\"", "Oh, you mean Miss Varens!", "\"The owner of Thornfield,\" she responded quietly.", "I cannot say it.", "Descending from her chair, she came and placed\nherself on my knee; then, folding her little hands demurely before her,\nshaking back her curls and lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced\nsinging a song from some opera.", "\"No, that will do: but after your mama went to the Holy Virgin, as you\nsay, with whom did you live then?\"", "\"What a beautiful room!\"", "The furniture\nonce appropriated to the lower apartments had from time to time been\nremoved here, as fashions changed: and the imperfect light entering by\ntheir narrow casement showed bedsteads of a hundred years old; chests in\noak or walnut, looking, with their strange carvings of palm branches and\ncherubs' heads, like types of the Hebrew ark; rows of venerable chairs,\nhigh-backed and narrow; stools still more antiquated, on whose cushioned\ntops were yet apparent traces of half-effaced embroideries, wrought by\nfingers that for two generations had been coffin-dust.", "It was a curious laugh; distinct,\nformal, mirthless.", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below." ]

[ "\"Oh, yes; the family have always been respected here.", "Bah!", "\"I believe not.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew\nmy chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she\nmight find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.", "\"But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night,\" said she; \"it is on the\nstroke of twelve now, and you have been travelling all day: you must feel\ntired.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"", "\"I lived long ago with mama; but she is gone to the Holy Virgin.", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "Descending from her chair, she came and placed\nherself on my knee; then, folding her little hands demurely before her,\nshaking back her curls and lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced\nsinging a song from some opera." ]

[ "As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl, followed by her\nattendant, came running up the lawn.", "I looked at my pupil, who did not\nat first appear to notice me: she was quite a child, perhaps seven or\neight years old, slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a\nredundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.", "\"Good morning, Miss Adela,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"", "She\napproached.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "said she, pointing to me, and addressing her\nnurse; who answered--\n\n\"Mais oui, certainement.\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "I inquired, amazed at hearing the French language.", "\"The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the Continent; and, I\nbelieve, never left it till within six months ago.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"" ]

[ "\n\nA new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and\nwhen I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a\nroom in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on\nthe walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such\nornaments on the mantelpiece, such prints, including a portrait of George\nthe Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of\nthe death of Wolfe.", "All this is visible to you by the light of an oil\nlamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near\nwhich I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the\ntable, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen\nhours' exposure to the rawness of an October day: I left Lowton at four\no'clock a.m., and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight.", "Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in\nmy mind.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter\nif any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the\nnegative: so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private\nroom: and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are\ntroubling my thoughts.", "It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself\nquite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain\nwhether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by\nmany impediments from returning to that it has quitted.", "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "I bethought myself to ring\nthe bell.", "\"Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield?\"", "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out,--a woman of between\nthirty and forty; a set, square-made figure, red-haired, and with a hard,\nplain face: any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely\nbe conceived.", "\"Too much noise, Grace,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Remember directions!\"", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "\"She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her housemaid's work,\"\ncontinued the widow; \"not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but\nshe does well enough.", "By-the-bye, how have you got on with your new\npupil this morning?\"", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below.", "Adele came running to meet us in the\nhall, exclaiming--\n\n\"Mesdames, vous etes servies!\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in Mrs. Fairfax's room." ]

[ "\n\nThe promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to\nThornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance\nwith the place and its inmates.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "My pupil was a lively child, who had been\nspoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was\ncommitted entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from any\nquarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her\nlittle freaks, and became obedient and teachable.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious,\nthough perhaps not very profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay\nprattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of\nattachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.", "This, _par parenthese_, will be thought cool language by persons who\nentertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the\nduty of those charged with their education to conceive for them an\nidolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to\necho cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth.", "I felt a\nconscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare and progress, and a quiet\nliking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a\nthankfulness for her kindness, and a pleasure in her society\nproportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation\nof her mind and character.", "Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then,\nwhen I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the\ngates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adele played\nwith her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed\nthe three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having\nreached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and\nalong dim sky-line--that then I longed for a power of vision which might\noverpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions\nfull of life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of\npractical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind,\nof acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach.", "I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I\nbelieved in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and\nwhat I believed in I wished to behold.", "Who blames me?", "Many, no doubt; and I shall be called discontented.", "I\ncould not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to\npain sometimes.", "Then my sole relief was to walk along the corridor of\nthe third storey, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and\nsolitude of the spot, and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright\nvisions rose before it--and, certainly, they were many and glowing; to\nlet my heart be heaved by the exultant movement, which, while it swelled\nit in trouble, expanded it with life; and, best of all, to open my inward\near to a tale that was never ended--a tale my imagination created, and\nnarrated continuously; quickened with all of incident, life, fire,\nfeeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence.", "It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with\ntranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot\nfind it.", "Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and\nmillions are in silent revolt against their lot.", "Nobody knows how many\nrebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life\nwhich people earth.", "Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but\nwomen feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and\na field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from\ntoo rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would\nsuffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures\nto say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and\nknitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags.", "It is\nthoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or\nlearn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.", "When thus alone, I not unfrequently heard Grace Poole's laugh: the same\npeal, the same low, slow ha!", "ha!", "which, when first heard, had thrilled\nme: I heard, too, her eccentric murmurs; stranger than her laugh.", "There\nwere days when she was quite silent; but there were others when I could\nnot account for the sounds she made.", "Sometimes I saw her: she would come\nout of her room with a basin, or a plate, or a tray in her hand, go down\nto the kitchen and shortly return, generally (oh, romantic reader,\nforgive me for telling the plain truth!)", "bearing a pot of porter.", "Her\nappearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by her oral\noddities: hard-featured and staid, she had no point to which interest\ncould attach.", "I made some attempts to draw her into conversation, but\nshe seemed a person of few words: a monosyllabic reply usually cut short\nevery effort of that sort.", "The other members of the household, viz., John and his wife, Leah the\nhousemaid, and Sophie the French nurse, were decent people; but in no\nrespect remarkable; with Sophie I used to talk French, and sometimes I\nasked her questions about her native country; but she was not of a\ndescriptive or narrative turn, and generally gave such vapid and confused\nanswers as were calculated rather to check than encourage inquiry.", "October, November, December passed away.", "One afternoon in January, Mrs.\nFairfax had begged a holiday for Adele, because she had a cold; and, as\nAdele seconded the request with an ardour that reminded me how precious\noccasional holidays had been to me in my own childhood, I accorded it,\ndeeming that I did well in showing pliability on the point.", "It was a\nfine, calm day, though very cold; I was tired of sitting still in the\nlibrary through a whole long morning: Mrs. Fairfax had just written a\nletter which was waiting to be posted, so I put on my bonnet and cloak\nand volunteered to carry it to Hay; the distance, two miles, would be a\npleasant winter afternoon walk.", "Having seen Adele comfortably seated in\nher little chair by Mrs. Fairfax's parlour fireside, and given her her\nbest wax doll (which I usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a\ndrawer) to play with, and a story-book for change of amusement; and\nhaving replied to her \"Revenez bientot, ma bonne amie, ma chere Mdlle.", "Jeannette,\" with a kiss I set out.", "The ground was hard, the air was still, my road was lonely; I walked fast\ntill I got warm, and then I walked slowly to enjoy and analyse the\nspecies of pleasure brooding for me in the hour and situation.", "It was\nthree o'clock; the church bell tolled as I passed under the belfry: the\ncharm of the hour lay in its approaching dimness, in the low-gliding and\npale-beaming sun.", "I was a mile from Thornfield, in a lane noted for wild\nroses in summer, for nuts and blackberries in autumn, and even now\npossessing a few coral treasures in hips and haws, but whose best winter\ndelight lay in its utter solitude and leafless repose.", "If a breath of\nair stirred, it made no sound here; for there was not a holly, not an\nevergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as\nstill as the white, worn stones which causewayed the middle of the path.", "Far and wide, on each side, there were only fields, where no cattle now\nbrowsed; and the little brown birds, which stirred occasionally in the\nhedge, looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop.", "This lane inclined up-hill all the way to Hay; having reached the middle,\nI sat down on a stile which led thence into a field.", "Gathering my mantle\nabout me, and sheltering my hands in my muff, I did not feel the cold,\nthough it froze keenly; as was attested by a sheet of ice covering the\ncauseway, where a little brooklet, now congealed, had overflowed after a\nrapid thaw some days since.", "From my seat I could look down on\nThornfield: the grey and battlemented hall was the principal object in\nthe vale below me; its woods and dark rookery rose against the west.", "I\nlingered till the sun went down amongst the trees, and sank crimson and\nclear behind them.", "I then turned eastward.", "On the hill-top above me sat the rising moon; pale yet as a cloud, but\nbrightening momentarily, she looked over Hay, which, half lost in trees,\nsent up a blue smoke from its few chimneys: it was yet a mile distant,\nbut in the absolute hush I could hear plainly its thin murmurs of life.", "My ear, too, felt the flow of currents; in what dales and depths I could\nnot tell: but there were many hills beyond Hay, and doubtless many becks\nthreading their passes.", "That evening calm betrayed alike the tinkle of\nthe nearest streams, the sough of the most remote.", "A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and whisperings, at once so\nfar away and so clear: a positive tramp, tramp, a metallic clatter, which\neffaced the soft wave-wanderings; as, in a picture, the solid mass of a\ncrag, or the rough boles of a great oak, drawn in dark and strong on the\nforeground, efface the aerial distance of azure hill, sunny horizon, and\nblended clouds where tint melts into tint.", "The din was on the causeway: a horse was coming; the windings of the lane\nyet hid it, but it approached.", "I was just leaving the stile; yet, as the\npath was narrow, I sat still to let it go by.", "In those days I was young,\nand all sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted my mind: the memories\nof nursery stories were there amongst other rubbish; and when they\nrecurred, maturing youth added to them a vigour and vividness beyond what\nchildhood could give.", "As this horse approached, and as I watched for it\nto appear through the dusk, I remembered certain of Bessie's tales,\nwherein figured a North-of-England spirit called a \"Gytrash,\" which, in\nthe form of horse, mule, or large dog, haunted solitary ways, and\nsometimes came upon belated travellers, as this horse was now coming upon\nme.", "It was very near, but not yet in sight; when, in addition to the tramp,\ntramp, I heard a rush under the hedge, and close down by the hazel stems\nglided a great dog, whose black and white colour made him a distinct\nobject against the trees.", "It was exactly one form of Bessie's Gytrash--a\nlion-like creature with long hair and a huge head: it passed me, however,\nquietly enough; not staying to look up, with strange pretercanine eyes,\nin my face, as I half expected it would.", "The horse followed,--a tall\nsteed, and on its back a rider.", "The man, the human being, broke the\nspell at once.", "Nothing ever rode the Gytrash: it was always alone; and\ngoblins, to my notions, though they might tenant the dumb carcasses of\nbeasts, could scarce covet shelter in the commonplace human form.", "No\nGytrash was this,--only a traveller taking the short cut to Millcote.", "He\npassed, and I went on; a few steps, and I turned: a sliding sound and an\nexclamation of \"What the deuce is to do now?\"", "and a clattering tumble,\narrested my attention.", "Man and horse were down; they had slipped on the\nsheet of ice which glazed the causeway.", "The dog came bounding back, and\nseeing his master in a predicament, and hearing the horse groan, barked\ntill the evening hills echoed the sound, which was deep in proportion to\nhis magnitude.", "He snuffed round the prostrate group, and then he ran up\nto me; it was all he could do,--there was no other help at hand to\nsummon.", "I obeyed him, and walked down to the traveller, by this time\nstruggling himself free of his steed.", "His efforts were so vigorous, I\nthought he could not be much hurt; but I asked him the question--\n\n\"Are you injured, sir?\"", "I think he was swearing, but am not certain; however, he was pronouncing\nsome formula which prevented him from replying to me directly.", "\"Can I do anything?\"", "I asked again.", "\"You must just stand on one side,\" he answered as he rose, first to his\nknees, and then to his feet.", "I did; whereupon began a heaving, stamping,\nclattering process, accompanied by a barking and baying which removed me\neffectually some yards' distance; but I would not be driven quite away\ntill I saw the event.", "This was finally fortunate; the horse was\nre-established, and the dog was silenced with a \"Down, Pilot!\"", "The\ntraveller now, stooping, felt his foot and leg, as if trying whether they\nwere sound; apparently something ailed them, for he halted to the stile\nwhence I had just risen, and sat down.", "I was in the mood for being useful, or at least officious, I think, for I\nnow drew near him again.", "\"If you are hurt, and want help, sir, I can fetch some one either from\nThornfield Hall or from Hay.\"", "\"Thank you: I shall do: I have no broken bones,--only a sprain;\" and\nagain he stood up and tried his foot, but the result extorted an\ninvoluntary \"Ugh!\"", "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "I felt\nno fear of him, and but little shyness.", "Had he been a handsome, heroic-\nlooking young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus\nquestioning him against his will, and offering my services unasked.", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I\nhad a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,\nfascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape,\nI should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have\nsympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would\nfire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.", "If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured to me when I\naddressed him; if he had put off my offer of assistance gaily and with\nthanks, I should have gone on my way and not felt any vocation to renew\ninquiries: but the frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my\nease: I retained my station when he waved to me to go, and announced--\n\n\"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour, in this solitary\nlane, till I see you are fit to mount your horse.\"", "He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes in my\ndirection before.", "\"I should think you ought to be at home yourself,\" said he, \"if you have\na home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?\"", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"", "\"You live just below--do you mean at that house with the battlements?\"", "pointing to Thornfield Hall, on which the moon cast a hoary gleam,\nbringing it out distinct and pale from the woods that, by contrast with\nthe western sky, now seemed one mass of shadow.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Whose house is it?\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester's.\"", "\"Do you know Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "\"No, I have never seen him.\"", "\"He is not resident, then?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Can you tell me where he is?\"", "\"I cannot.\"", "\"You are not a servant at the hall, of course.", "You are--\" He stopped,\nran his eye over my dress, which, as usual, was quite simple: a black\nmerino cloak, a black beaver bonnet; neither of them half fine enough for\na lady's-maid.", "He seemed puzzled to decide what I was; I helped him.", "\"I am the governess.\"", "\"Ah, the governess!\"", "he repeated; \"deuce take me, if I had not forgotten!", "The governess!\"", "and again my raiment underwent scrutiny.", "In two minutes\nhe rose from the stile: his face expressed pain when he tried to move.", "\"I cannot commission you to fetch help,\" he said; \"but you may help me a\nlittle yourself, if you will be so kind.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"You have not an umbrella that I can use as a stick?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him to me: you are not\nafraid?\"", "I should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone, but when told to\ndo it, I was disposed to obey.", "I put down my muff on the stile, and went\nup to the tall steed; I endeavoured to catch the bridle, but it was a\nspirited thing, and would not let me come near its head; I made effort on\neffort, though in vain: meantime, I was mortally afraid of its trampling\nfore-feet.", "The traveller waited and watched for some time, and at last\nhe laughed.", "{I was mortally afraid of its trampling forefeet: p107.jpg}\n\n\"I see,\" he said, \"the mountain will never be brought to Mahomet, so all\nyou can do is to aid Mahomet to go to the mountain; I must beg of you to\ncome here.\"", "I came.", "\"Excuse me,\" he continued: \"necessity compels me to make you\nuseful.\"", "He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder, and leaning on me with\nsome stress, limped to his horse.", "Having once caught the bridle, he\nmastered it directly and sprang to his saddle; grimacing grimly as he\nmade the effort, for it wrenched his sprain.", "\"Now,\" said he, releasing his under lip from a hard bite, \"just hand me\nmy whip; it lies there under the hedge.\"", "I sought it and found it.", "\"Thank you; now make haste with the letter to Hay, and return as fast as\nyou can.\"", "A touch of a spurred heel made his horse first start and rear, and then\nbound away; the dog rushed in his traces; all three vanished,\n\n \"Like heath that, in the wilderness,\n The wild wind whirls away.\"", "I took up my muff and walked on.", "The incident had occurred and was gone\nfor me: it _was_ an incident of no moment, no romance, no interest in a\nsense; yet it marked with change one single hour of a monotonous life.", "My\nhelp had been needed and claimed; I had given it: I was pleased to have\ndone something; trivial, transitory though the deed was, it was yet an\nactive thing, and I was weary of an existence all passive.", "The new face,\ntoo, was like a new picture introduced to the gallery of memory; and it\nwas dissimilar to all the others hanging there: firstly, because it was\nmasculine; and, secondly, because it was dark, strong, and stern.", "I had\nit still before me when I entered Hay, and slipped the letter into the\npost-office; I saw it as I walked fast down-hill all the way home.", "When\nI came to the stile, I stopped a minute, looked round and listened, with\nan idea that a horse's hoofs might ring on the causeway again, and that a\nrider in a cloak, and a Gytrash-like Newfoundland dog, might be again\napparent: I saw only the hedge and a pollard willow before me, rising up\nstill and straight to meet the moonbeams; I heard only the faintest waft\nof wind roaming fitful among the trees round Thornfield, a mile distant;\nand when I glanced down in the direction of the murmur, my eye,\ntraversing the hall-front, caught a light kindling in a window: it\nreminded me that I was late, and I hurried on.", "I did not like re-entering Thornfield.", "To pass its threshold was to\nreturn to stagnation; to cross the silent hall, to ascend the darksome\nstaircase, to seek my own lonely little room, and then to meet tranquil\nMrs. Fairfax, and spend the long winter evening with her, and her only,\nwas to quell wholly the faint excitement wakened by my walk,--to slip\nagain over my faculties the viewless fetters of an uniform and too still\nexistence; of an existence whose very privileges of security and ease I\nwas becoming incapable of appreciating.", "What good it would have done me\nat that time to have been tossed in the storms of an uncertain struggling\nlife, and to have been taught by rough and bitter experience to long for\nthe calm amidst which I now repined!", "Yes, just as much good as it would\ndo a man tired of sitting still in a \"too easy chair\" to take a long\nwalk: and just as natural was the wish to stir, under my circumstances,\nas it would be under his.", "I lingered at the gates; I lingered on the lawn; I paced backwards and\nforwards on the pavement; the shutters of the glass door were closed; I\ncould not see into the interior; and both my eyes and spirit seemed drawn\nfrom the gloomy house--from the grey-hollow filled with rayless cells, as\nit appeared to me--to that sky expanded before me,--a blue sea absolved\nfrom taint of cloud; the moon ascending it in solemn march; her orb\nseeming to look up as she left the hill-tops, from behind which she had\ncome, far and farther below her, and aspired to the zenith, midnight dark\nin its fathomless depth and measureless distance; and for those trembling\nstars that followed her course; they made my heart tremble, my veins glow\nwhen I viewed them.", "Little things recall us to earth; the clock struck\nin the hall; that sufficed; I turned from moon and stars, opened a side-\ndoor, and went in.", "The hall was not dark, nor yet was it lit, only by the high-hung bronze\nlamp; a warm glow suffused both it and the lower steps of the oak\nstaircase.", "This ruddy shine issued from the great dining-room, whose two-\nleaved door stood open, and showed a genial fire in the grate, glancing\non marble hearth and brass fire-irons, and revealing purple draperies and\npolished furniture, in the most pleasant radiance.", "It revealed, too, a\ngroup near the mantelpiece: I had scarcely caught it, and scarcely become\naware of a cheerful mingling of voices, amongst which I seemed to\ndistinguish the tones of Adele, when the door closed.", "I hastened to Mrs. Fairfax's room; there was a fire there too, but no\ncandle, and no Mrs. Fairfax.", "Instead, all alone, sitting upright on the\nrug, and gazing with gravity at the blaze, I beheld a great black and\nwhite long-haired dog, just like the Gytrash of the lane.", "It was so like\nit that I went forward and said--\"Pilot\" and the thing got up and came to\nme and snuffed me.", "I caressed him, and he wagged his great tail; but he\nlooked an eerie creature to be alone with, and I could not tell whence he\nhad come.", "I rang the bell, for I wanted a candle; and I wanted, too, to\nget an account of this visitant.", "Leah entered.", "\"What dog is this?\"", "\"He came with master.\"", "\"With whom?\"", "\"With master--Mr. Rochester--he is just arrived.\"", "\"Indeed!", "and is Mrs. Fairfax with him?\"", "\"Yes, and Miss Adele; they are in the dining-room, and John is gone for a\nsurgeon; for master has had an accident; his horse fell and his ankle is\nsprained.\"", "\"Did the horse fall in Hay Lane?\"", "\"Yes, coming down-hill; it slipped on some ice.\"", "\"Ah!", "Bring me a candle will you Leah?\"", "Leah brought it; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax, who repeated the\nnews; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon was come, and was now with Mr.\nRochester: then she hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went\nupstairs to take off my things." ]

[ "Then my sole relief was to walk along the corridor of\nthe third storey, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and\nsolitude of the spot, and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright\nvisions rose before it--and, certainly, they were many and glowing; to\nlet my heart be heaved by the exultant movement, which, while it swelled\nit in trouble, expanded it with life; and, best of all, to open my inward\near to a tale that was never ended--a tale my imagination created, and\nnarrated continuously; quickened with all of incident, life, fire,\nfeeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence.", "Her\nappearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by her oral\noddities: hard-featured and staid, she had no point to which interest\ncould attach.", "Jeannette,\" with a kiss I set out.", "Far and wide, on each side, there were only fields, where no cattle now\nbrowsed; and the little brown birds, which stirred occasionally in the\nhedge, looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop.", "I think he was swearing, but am not certain; however, he was pronouncing\nsome formula which prevented him from replying to me directly.", "This was finally fortunate; the horse was\nre-established, and the dog was silenced with a \"Down, Pilot!\"", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "You are--\" He stopped,\nran his eye over my dress, which, as usual, was quite simple: a black\nmerino cloak, a black beaver bonnet; neither of them half fine enough for\na lady's-maid.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "I came." ]

[ "From my seat I could look down on\nThornfield: the grey and battlemented hall was the principal object in\nthe vale below me; its woods and dark rookery rose against the west.", "\"Excuse me,\" he continued: \"necessity compels me to make you\nuseful.\"", "The new face,\ntoo, was like a new picture introduced to the gallery of memory; and it\nwas dissimilar to all the others hanging there: firstly, because it was\nmasculine; and, secondly, because it was dark, strong, and stern.", "Jeannette,\" with a kiss I set out.", "He snuffed round the prostrate group, and then he ran up\nto me; it was all he could do,--there was no other help at hand to\nsummon.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "Rochester's.\"", "I sought it and found it.", "\"No.\"", "October, November, December passed away." ]

[ "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "I felt\nno fear of him, and but little shyness.", "Had he been a handsome, heroic-\nlooking young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus\nquestioning him against his will, and offering my services unasked.", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I\nhad a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,\nfascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape,\nI should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have\nsympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would\nfire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.", "If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured to me when I\naddressed him; if he had put off my offer of assistance gaily and with\nthanks, I should have gone on my way and not felt any vocation to renew\ninquiries: but the frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my\nease: I retained my station when he waved to me to go, and announced--\n\n\"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour, in this solitary\nlane, till I see you are fit to mount your horse.\"", "He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes in my\ndirection before.", "\"I should think you ought to be at home yourself,\" said he, \"if you have\na home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?\"", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to\nThornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance\nwith the place and its inmates.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "My pupil was a lively child, who had been\nspoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was\ncommitted entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from any\nquarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her\nlittle freaks, and became obedient and teachable.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious,\nthough perhaps not very profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay\nprattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of\nattachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.", "This, _par parenthese_, will be thought cool language by persons who\nentertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the\nduty of those charged with their education to conceive for them an\nidolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to\necho cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth.", "I felt a\nconscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare and progress, and a quiet\nliking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a\nthankfulness for her kindness, and a pleasure in her society\nproportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation\nof her mind and character.", "Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then,\nwhen I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the\ngates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adele played\nwith her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed\nthe three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having\nreached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and\nalong dim sky-line--that then I longed for a power of vision which might\noverpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions\nfull of life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of\npractical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind,\nof acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach.", "I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I\nbelieved in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and\nwhat I believed in I wished to behold.", "Who blames me?", "\"With whom?\"", "\"With master--Mr. Rochester--he is just arrived.\"", "\"Indeed!", "and is Mrs. Fairfax with him?\"", "\"Yes, and Miss Adele; they are in the dining-room, and John is gone for a\nsurgeon; for master has had an accident; his horse fell and his ankle is\nsprained.\"", "\"Did the horse fall in Hay Lane?\"", "\"Yes, coming down-hill; it slipped on some ice.\"", "\"Ah!", "Bring me a candle will you Leah?\"", "Leah brought it; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax, who repeated the\nnews; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon was come, and was now with Mr.\nRochester: then she hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went\nupstairs to take off my things." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to bed early that\nnight; nor did he rise soon next morning.", "When he did come down, it was\nto attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived,\nand waiting to speak with him.", "Adele and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily\nrequisition as a reception-room for callers.", "A fire was lit in an\napartment upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for\nthe future schoolroom.", "I discerned in the course of the morning that\nThornfield Hall was a changed place: no longer silent as a church, it\nechoed every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the bell;\nsteps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices spoke in different\nkeys below; a rill from the outer world was flowing through it; it had a\nmaster: for my part, I liked it better.", "Adele was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept\nrunning to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could\nget a glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go\ndownstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library,\nwhere I knew she was not wanted; then, when I got a little angry, and\nmade her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her \"ami,\nMonsieur Edouard Fairfax _de_ Rochester,\" as she dubbed him (I had not\nbefore heard his prenomens), and to conjecture what presents he had\nbrought her: for it appears he had intimated the night before, that when\nhis luggage came from Millcote, there would be found amongst it a little\nbox in whose contents she had an interest.", "\"Et cela doit signifier,\" said she, \"qu'il y aura la dedans un cadeau\npour moi, et peut-etre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.", "Monsieur a parle\nde vous: il m'a demande le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n'etait pas\nune petite personne, assez mince et un peu pale.", "J'ai dit qu'oui: car\nc'est vrai, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?\"", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "At dark I\nallowed Adele to put away books and work, and to run downstairs; for,\nfrom the comparative silence below, and from the cessation of appeals to\nthe door-bell, I conjectured that Mr. Rochester was now at liberty.", "Left\nalone, I walked to the window; but nothing was to be seen thence:\ntwilight and snowflakes together thickened the air, and hid the very\nshrubs on the lawn.", "I let down the curtain and went back to the\nfireside.", "In the clear embers I was tracing a view, not unlike a picture I\nremembered to have seen of the castle of Heidelberg, on the Rhine, when\nMrs. Fairfax came in, breaking up by her entrance the fiery mosaic I had\nbeen piercing together, and scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts\nthat were beginning to throng on my solitude.", "\"Mr. Rochester would be glad if you and your pupil would take tea with\nhim in the drawing-room this evening,\" said she: \"he has been so much\nengaged all day that he could not ask to see you before.\"", "\"When is his tea-time?\"", "I inquired.", "\"Oh, at six o'clock: he keeps early hours in the country.", "You had better\nchange your frock now; I will go with you and fasten it.", "Here is a\ncandle.\"", "\"Is it necessary to change my frock?\"", "\"Yes, you had better: I always dress for the evening when Mr. Rochester\nis here.\"", "This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately; however, I repaired to\nmy room, and, with Mrs. Fairfax's aid, replaced my black stuff dress by\none of black silk; the best and the only additional one I had, except one\nof light grey, which, in my Lowood notions of the toilette, I thought too\nfine to be worn, except on first-rate occasions.", "\"You want a brooch,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "I had a single little pearl\nornament which Miss Temple gave me as a parting keepsake: I put it on,\nand then we went downstairs.", "Unused as I was to strangers, it was rather\na trial to appear thus formally summoned in Mr. Rochester's presence.", "I\nlet Mrs. Fairfax precede me into the dining-room, and kept in her shade\nas we crossed that apartment; and, passing the arch, whose curtain was\nnow dropped, entered the elegant recess beyond.", "Two wax candles stood lighted on the table, and two on the mantelpiece;\nbasking in the light and heat of a superb fire, lay Pilot--Adele knelt\nnear him.", "Half reclined on a couch appeared Mr. Rochester, his foot\nsupported by the cushion; he was looking at Adele and the dog: the fire\nshone full on his face.", "I knew my traveller with his broad and jetty\neyebrows; his square forehead, made squarer by the horizontal sweep of\nhis black hair.", "I recognised his decisive nose, more remarkable for\ncharacter than beauty; his full nostrils, denoting, I thought, choler;\nhis grim mouth, chin, and jaw--yes, all three were very grim, and no\nmistake.", "His shape, now divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in\nsquareness with his physiognomy: I suppose it was a good figure in the\nathletic sense of the term--broad chested and thin flanked, though\nneither tall nor graceful.", "Mr. Rochester must have been aware of the entrance of Mrs. Fairfax and\nmyself; but it appeared he was not in the mood to notice us, for he never\nlifted his head as we approached.", "\"Here is Miss Eyre, sir,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, in her quiet way.", "He bowed,\nstill not taking his eyes from the group of the dog and child.", "\"Let Miss Eyre be seated,\" said he: and there was something in the forced\nstiff bow, in the impatient yet formal tone, which seemed further to\nexpress, \"What the deuce is it to me whether Miss Eyre be there or not?", "At this moment I am not disposed to accost her.\"", "I sat down quite disembarrassed.", "A reception of finished politeness\nwould probably have confused me: I could not have returned or repaid it\nby answering grace and elegance on my part; but harsh caprice laid me\nunder no obligation; on the contrary, a decent quiescence, under the\nfreak of manner, gave me the advantage.", "Besides, the eccentricity of the\nproceeding was piquant: I felt interested to see how he would go on.", "He went on as a statue would, that is, he neither spoke nor moved.", "Mrs.\nFairfax seemed to think it necessary that some one should be amiable, and\nshe began to talk.", "Kindly, as usual--and, as usual, rather trite--she\ncondoled with him on the pressure of business he had had all day; on the\nannoyance it must have been to him with that painful sprain: then she\ncommended his patience and perseverance in going through with it.", "\"Madam, I should like some tea,\" was the sole rejoinder she got.", "She\nhastened to ring the bell; and when the tray came, she proceeded to\narrange the cups, spoons, &c., with assiduous celerity.", "I and Adele went\nto the table; but the master did not leave his couch.", "\"Will you hand Mr. Rochester's cup?\"", "said Mrs. Fairfax to me; \"Adele\nmight perhaps spill it.\"", "I did as requested.", "As he took the cup from my hand, Adele, thinking the\nmoment propitious for making a request in my favour, cried out--\n\n\"N'est-ce pas, monsieur, qu'il y a un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre dans\nvotre petit coffre?\"", "\"Who talks of cadeaux?\"", "said he gruffly.", "\"Did you expect a present, Miss\nEyre?", "Are you fond of presents?\"", "and he searched my face with eyes that\nI saw were dark, irate, and piercing.", "\"I hardly know, sir; I have little experience of them: they are generally\nthought pleasant things.\"", "\"Generally thought?", "But what do _you_ think?\"", "\"I should be obliged to take time, sir, before I could give you an answer\nworthy of your acceptance: a present has many faces to it, has it not?", "and one should consider all, before pronouncing an opinion as to its\nnature.\"", "\"Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as Adele: she demands a\n'cadeau,' clamorously, the moment she sees me: you beat about the bush.\"", "\"Because I have less confidence in my deserts than Adele has: she can\nprefer the claim of old acquaintance, and the right too of custom; for\nshe says you have always been in the habit of giving her playthings; but\nif I had to make out a case I should be puzzled, since I am a stranger,\nand have done nothing to entitle me to an acknowledgment.\"", "\"Oh, don't fall back on over-modesty!", "I have examined Adele, and find\nyou have taken great pains with her: she is not bright, she has no\ntalents; yet in a short time she has made much improvement.\"", "\"Sir, you have now given me my 'cadeau;' I am obliged to you: it is the\nmeed teachers most covet--praise of their pupils' progress.\"", "\"Humph!\"", "said Mr. Rochester, and he took his tea in silence.", "\"Come to the fire,\" said the master, when the tray was taken away, and\nMrs. Fairfax had settled into a corner with her knitting; while Adele was\nleading me by the hand round the room, showing me the beautiful books and\nornaments on the consoles and chiffonnieres.", "We obeyed, as in duty\nbound; Adele wanted to take a seat on my knee, but she was ordered to\namuse herself with Pilot.", "\"You have been resident in my house three months?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And you came from--?\"", "\"From Lowood school, in ---shire.\"", "\"Ah!", "a charitable concern.", "How long were you there?\"", "\"Eight years.\"", "\"Eight years!", "you must be tenacious of life.", "I thought half the time in\nsuch a place would have done up any constitution!", "No wonder you have\nrather the look of another world.", "I marvelled where you had got that\nsort of face.", "When you came on me in Hay Lane last night, I thought\nunaccountably of fairy tales, and had half a mind to demand whether you\nhad bewitched my horse: I am not sure yet.", "Who are your parents?\"", "\"I have none.\"", "\"Nor ever had, I suppose: do you remember them?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"I thought not.", "And so you were waiting for your people when you sat on\nthat stile?\"", "\"For whom, sir?\"", "\"For the men in green: it was a proper moonlight evening for them.", "Did I\nbreak through one of your rings, that you spread that damned ice on the\ncauseway?\"", "I shook my head.", "\"The men in green all forsook England a hundred years\nago,\" said I, speaking as seriously as he had done.", "\"And not even in Hay\nLane, or the fields about it, could you find a trace of them.", "I don't\nthink either summer or harvest, or winter moon, will ever shine on their\nrevels more.\"", "Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with raised eyebrows, seemed\nwondering what sort of talk this was.", "\"Well,\" resumed Mr. Rochester, \"if you disown parents, you must have some\nsort of kinsfolk: uncles and aunts?\"", "\"No; none that I ever saw.\"", "\"And your home?\"", "\"I have none.\"", "\"Where do your brothers and sisters live?\"", "\"I have no brothers or sisters.\"", "\"Who recommended you to come here?\"", "\"I advertised, and Mrs. Fairfax answered my advertisement.\"", "\"Yes,\" said the good lady, who now knew what ground we were upon, \"and I\nam daily thankful for the choice Providence led me to make.", "Miss Eyre\nhas been an invaluable companion to me, and a kind and careful teacher to\nAdele.\"", "\"Don't trouble yourself to give her a character,\" returned Mr. Rochester:\n\"eulogiums will not bias me; I shall judge for myself.", "She began by\nfelling my horse.\"", "\"Sir?\"", "said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"I have to thank her for this sprain.\"", "The widow looked bewildered.", "\"Miss Eyre, have you ever lived in a town?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Have you seen much society?\"", "\"None but the pupils and teachers of Lowood, and now the inmates of\nThornfield.\"", "\"Have you read much?\"", "\"Only such books as came in my way; and they have not been numerous or\nvery learned.\"", "\"You have lived the life of a nun: no doubt you are well drilled in\nreligious forms;--Brocklehurst, who I understand directs Lowood, is a\nparson, is he not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses\nwould worship their director.\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"You are very cool!", "No!", "What!", "a novice not worship her priest!", "That\nsounds blasphemous.\"", "\"I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.", "He is\na harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for\neconomy's sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could\nhardly sew.\"", "\"That was very false economy,\" remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again\ncaught the drift of the dialogue.", "\"And was that the head and front of his offending?\"", "demanded Mr.\nRochester.", "\"He starved us when he had the sole superintendence of the provision\ndepartment, before the committee was appointed; and he bored us with long\nlectures once a week, and with evening readings from books of his own\ninditing, about sudden deaths and judgments, which made us afraid to go\nto bed.\"", "\"What age were you when you went to Lowood?\"", "\"About ten.\"", "\"And you stayed there eight years: you are now, then, eighteen?\"", "I assented.", "\"Arithmetic, you see, is useful; without its aid, I should hardly have\nbeen able to guess your age.", "It is a point difficult to fix where the\nfeatures and countenance are so much at variance as in your case.", "And\nnow what did you learn at Lowood?", "Can you play?\"", "\"A little.\"", "\"Of course: that is the established answer.", "Go into the library--I mean,\nif you please.--(Excuse my tone of command; I am used to say, 'Do this,'\nand it is done: I cannot alter my customary habits for one new\ninmate.)", "--Go, then, into the library; take a candle with you; leave the\ndoor open; sit down to the piano, and play a tune.\"", "I departed, obeying his directions.", "\"Enough!\"", "he called out in a few minutes.", "\"You play _a little_, I see;\nlike any other English school-girl; perhaps rather better than some, but\nnot well.\"", "I closed the piano and returned.", "Mr. Rochester continued--\"Adele showed\nme some sketches this morning, which she said were yours.", "I don't know\nwhether they were entirely of your doing; probably a master aided you?\"", "\"No, indeed!\"", "I interjected.", "\"Ah!", "that pricks pride.", "Well, fetch me your portfolio, if you can vouch\nfor its contents being original; but don't pass your word unless you are\ncertain: I can recognise patchwork.\"", "\"Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for yourself, sir.\"", "I brought the portfolio from the library.", "\"Approach the table,\" said he; and I wheeled it to his couch.", "Adele and\nMrs. Fairfax drew near to see the pictures.", "\"No crowding,\" said Mr. Rochester: \"take the drawings from my hand as I\nfinish with them; but don't push your faces up to mine.\"", "He deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting.", "Three he laid\naside; the others, when he had examined them, he swept from him.", "\"Take them off to the other table, Mrs. Fairfax,\" said he, \"and look at\nthem with Adele;--you\" (glancing at me) \"resume your seat, and answer my\nquestions.", "I perceive those pictures were done by one hand: was that\nhand yours?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And when did you find time to do them?", "They have taken much time, and\nsome thought.\"", "\"I did them in the last two vacations I spent at Lowood, when I had no\nother occupation.\"", "\"Where did you get your copies?\"", "\"Out of my head.\"", "\"That head I see now on your shoulders?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Has it other furniture of the same kind within?\"", "\"I should think it may have: I should hope--better.\"", "He spread the pictures before him, and again surveyed them alternately.", "While he is so occupied, I will tell you, reader, what they are: and\nfirst, I must premise that they are nothing wonderful.", "The subjects had,\nindeed, risen vividly on my mind.", "As I saw them with the spiritual eye,\nbefore I attempted to embody them, they were striking; but my hand would\nnot second my fancy, and in each case it had wrought out but a pale\nportrait of the thing I had conceived.", "These pictures were in water-colours.", "The first represented clouds low\nand livid, rolling over a swollen sea: all the distance was in eclipse;\nso, too, was the foreground; or rather, the nearest billows, for there\nwas no land.", "One gleam of light lifted into relief a half-submerged\nmast, on which sat a cormorant, dark and large, with wings flecked with\nfoam; its beak held a gold bracelet set with gems, that I had touched\nwith as brilliant tints as my palette could yield, and as glittering\ndistinctness as my pencil could impart.", "Sinking below the bird and mast,\na drowned corpse glanced through the green water; a fair arm was the only\nlimb clearly visible, whence the bracelet had been washed or torn.", "The second picture contained for foreground only the dim peak of a hill,\nwith grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze.", "Beyond and above\nspread an expanse of sky, dark blue as at twilight: rising into the sky\nwas a woman's shape to the bust, portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as I\ncould combine.", "The dim forehead was crowned with a star; the lineaments\nbelow were seen as through the suffusion of vapour; the eyes shone dark\nand wild; the hair streamed shadowy, like a beamless cloud torn by storm\nor by electric travail.", "On the neck lay a pale reflection like\nmoonlight; the same faint lustre touched the train of thin clouds from\nwhich rose and bowed this vision of the Evening Star.", "The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a polar winter sky:\na muster of northern lights reared their dim lances, close serried, along\nthe horizon.", "Throwing these into distance, rose, in the foreground, a\nhead,--a colossal head, inclined towards the iceberg, and resting against\nit.", "Two thin hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew\nup before the lower features a sable veil, a brow quite bloodless, white\nas bone, and an eye hollow and fixed, blank of meaning but for the\nglassiness of despair, alone were visible.", "Above the temples, amidst\nwreathed turban folds of black drapery, vague in its character and\nconsistency as cloud, gleamed a ring of white flame, gemmed with sparkles\nof a more lurid tinge.", "This pale crescent was \"the likeness of a kingly\ncrown;\" what it diademed was \"the shape which shape had none.\"", "\"Were you happy when you painted these pictures?\"", "asked Mr. Rochester\npresently.", "\"I was absorbed, sir: yes, and I was happy.", "To paint them, in short, was\nto enjoy one of the keenest pleasures I have ever known.\"", "\"That is not saying much.", "Your pleasures, by your own account, have been\nfew; but I daresay you did exist in a kind of artist's dreamland while\nyou blent and arranged these strange tints.", "Did you sit at them long\neach day?\"", "\"I had nothing else to do, because it was the vacation, and I sat at them\nfrom morning till noon, and from noon till night: the length of the\nmidsummer days favoured my inclination to apply.\"", "\"And you felt self-satisfied with the result of your ardent labours?\"", "\"Far from it.", "I was tormented by the contrast between my idea and my\nhandiwork: in each case I had imagined something which I was quite\npowerless to realise.\"", "\"Not quite: you have secured the shadow of your thought; but no more,\nprobably.", "You had not enough of the artist's skill and science to give\nit full being: yet the drawings are, for a school-girl, peculiar.", "As to\nthe thoughts, they are elfish.", "These eyes in the Evening Star you must\nhave seen in a dream.", "How could you make them look so clear, and yet not\nat all brilliant?", "for the planet above quells their rays.", "And what\nmeaning is that in their solemn depth?", "And who taught you to paint wind?", "There is a high gale in that sky, and on this hill-top.", "Where did you\nsee Latmos?", "For that is Latmos.", "There!", "put the drawings away!\"", "I had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio, when, looking at his\nwatch, he said abruptly--\n\n\"It is nine o'clock: what are you about, Miss Eyre, to let Adele sit up\nso long?", "Take her to bed.\"", "Adele went to kiss him before quitting the room: he endured the caress,\nbut scarcely seemed to relish it more than Pilot would have done, nor so\nmuch.", "\"I wish you all good-night, now,\" said he, making a movement of the hand\ntowards the door, in token that he was tired of our company, and wished\nto dismiss us.", "Mrs. Fairfax folded up her knitting: I took my portfolio:\nwe curtseyed to him, received a frigid bow in return, and so withdrew.", "\"You said Mr. Rochester was not strikingly peculiar, Mrs. Fairfax,\" I\nobserved, when I rejoined her in her room, after putting Adele to bed.", "\"Well, is he?\"", "\"I think so: he is very changeful and abrupt.\"", "\"True: no doubt he may appear so to a stranger, but I am so accustomed to\nhis manner, I never think of it; and then, if he has peculiarities of\ntemper, allowance should be made.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Partly because it is his nature--and we can none of us help our nature;\nand partly because he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and\nmake his spirits unequal.\"", "\"What about?\"", "\"Family troubles, for one thing.\"", "\"But he has no family.\"", "\"Not now, but he has had--or, at least, relatives.", "He lost his elder\nbrother a few years since.\"", "\"His _elder_ brother?\"", "\"Yes.", "The present Mr. Rochester has not been very long in possession of\nthe property; only about nine years.\"", "\"Nine years is a tolerable time.", "Was he so very fond of his brother as\nto be still inconsolable for his loss?\"", "\"Why, no--perhaps not.", "I believe there were some misunderstandings\nbetween them.", "Mr. Rowland Rochester was not quite just to Mr. Edward;\nand perhaps he prejudiced his father against him.", "The old gentleman was\nfond of money, and anxious to keep the family estate together.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it.", "He is not very forgiving: he\nbroke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled\nkind of life.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "\"Why should he shun it?\"", "\"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.\"", "The answer was evasive.", "I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs.\nFairfax either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information\nof the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.", "She averred they\nwere a mystery to herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from\nconjecture.", "It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the\nsubject, which I did accordingly." ]

[ "He went on as a statue would, that is, he neither spoke nor moved.", "I have examined Adele, and find\nyou have taken great pains with her: she is not bright, she has no\ntalents; yet in a short time she has made much improvement.\"", "Who are your parents?\"", "\"Enough!\"", "Sinking below the bird and mast,\na drowned corpse glanced through the green water; a fair arm was the only\nlimb clearly visible, whence the bracelet had been washed or torn.", "These eyes in the Evening Star you must\nhave seen in a dream.", "\"I wish you all good-night, now,\" said he, making a movement of the hand\ntowards the door, in token that he was tired of our company, and wished\nto dismiss us.", "\"Family troubles, for one thing.\"", "\"Why, no--perhaps not.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"" ]

[ "Where did you\nsee Latmos?", "\"Arithmetic, you see, is useful; without its aid, I should hardly have\nbeen able to guess your age.", "\"Yes.\"", "Two thin hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew\nup before the lower features a sable veil, a brow quite bloodless, white\nas bone, and an eye hollow and fixed, blank of meaning but for the\nglassiness of despair, alone were visible.", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "I knew my traveller with his broad and jetty\neyebrows; his square forehead, made squarer by the horizontal sweep of\nhis black hair.", "\"The men in green all forsook England a hundred years\nago,\" said I, speaking as seriously as he had done.", "They have taken much time, and\nsome thought.\"", "I don't\nthink either summer or harvest, or winter moon, will ever shine on their\nrevels more.\"", "His shape, now divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in\nsquareness with his physiognomy: I suppose it was a good figure in the\nathletic sense of the term--broad chested and thin flanked, though\nneither tall nor graceful." ]

[ "\"And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses\nwould worship their director.\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"You are very cool!", "No!", "What!", "a novice not worship her priest!", "That\nsounds blasphemous.\"", "\"I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.", "He is\na harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for\neconomy's sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could\nhardly sew.\"", "\"That was very false economy,\" remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again\ncaught the drift of the dialogue.", "\"And was that the head and front of his offending?\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to bed early that\nnight; nor did he rise soon next morning.", "When he did come down, it was\nto attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived,\nand waiting to speak with him.", "Adele and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily\nrequisition as a reception-room for callers.", "A fire was lit in an\napartment upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for\nthe future schoolroom.", "I discerned in the course of the morning that\nThornfield Hall was a changed place: no longer silent as a church, it\nechoed every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the bell;\nsteps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices spoke in different\nkeys below; a rill from the outer world was flowing through it; it had a\nmaster: for my part, I liked it better.", "Adele was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept\nrunning to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could\nget a glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go\ndownstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library,\nwhere I knew she was not wanted; then, when I got a little angry, and\nmade her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her \"ami,\nMonsieur Edouard Fairfax _de_ Rochester,\" as she dubbed him (I had not\nbefore heard his prenomens), and to conjecture what presents he had\nbrought her: for it appears he had intimated the night before, that when\nhis luggage came from Millcote, there would be found amongst it a little\nbox in whose contents she had an interest.", "\"Et cela doit signifier,\" said she, \"qu'il y aura la dedans un cadeau\npour moi, et peut-etre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.", "Monsieur a parle\nde vous: il m'a demande le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n'etait pas\nune petite personne, assez mince et un peu pale.", "J'ai dit qu'oui: car\nc'est vrai, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?\"", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it.", "He is not very forgiving: he\nbroke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled\nkind of life.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "\"Why should he shun it?\"", "\"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.\"", "The answer was evasive.", "I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs.\nFairfax either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information\nof the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.", "She averred they\nwere a mystery to herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from\nconjecture.", "It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the\nsubject, which I did accordingly." ]

[ "\n\nFor several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester.", "In the\nmornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,\ngentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimes stayed\nto dine with him.", "When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse\nexercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to return these visits, as he\ngenerally did not come back till late at night.", "During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence, and\nall my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasional rencontre in\nthe hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would sometimes pass\nme haughtily and coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod\nor a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike\naffability.", "His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I\nhad nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on\ncauses quite disconnected with me.", "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "Soon after they were gone he rang the bell: a message came that I and\nAdele were to go downstairs.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "She was gratified: there\nit stood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.", "She appeared to know it by instinct.", "\"Ma boite!", "ma boite!\"", "exclaimed she, running towards it.", "\"Yes, there is your 'boite' at last: take it into a corner, you genuine\ndaughter of Paris, and amuse yourself with disembowelling it,\" said the\ndeep and rather sarcastic voice of Mr. Rochester, proceeding from the\ndepths of an immense easy-chair at the fireside.", "\"And mind,\" he\ncontinued, \"don't bother me with any details of the anatomical process,\nor any notice of the condition of the entrails: let your operation be\nconducted in silence: tiens-toi tranquille, enfant; comprends-tu?\"", "Adele seemed scarcely to need the warning--she had already retired to a\nsofa with her treasure, and was busy untying the cord which secured the\nlid.", "Having removed this impediment, and lifted certain silvery\nenvelopes of tissue paper, she merely exclaimed--\n\n\"Oh ciel!", "Que c'est beau!\"", "and then remained absorbed in ecstatic\ncontemplation.", "\"Is Miss Eyre there?\"", "now demanded the master, half rising from his seat\nto look round to the door, near which I still stood.", "\"Ah!", "well, come forward; be seated here.\"", "He drew a chair near his own.", "\"I am not fond of the prattle of children,\" he continued; \"for, old\nbachelor as I am, I have no pleasant associations connected with their\nlisp.", "It would be intolerable to me to pass a whole evening\n_tete-a-tete_ with a brat.", "Don't draw that chair farther off, Miss Eyre;\nsit down exactly where I placed it--if you please, that is.", "Confound\nthese civilities!", "I continually forget them.", "Nor do I particularly\naffect simple-minded old ladies.", "By-the-bye, I must have mine in mind;\nit won't do to neglect her; she is a Fairfax, or wed to one; and blood is\nsaid to be thicker than water.\"", "He rang, and despatched an invitation to Mrs. Fairfax, who soon arrived,\nknitting-basket in hand.", "\"Good evening, madam; I sent to you for a charitable purpose.", "I have\nforbidden Adele to talk to me about her presents, and she is bursting\nwith repletion: have the goodness to serve her as auditress and\ninterlocutrice; it will be one of the most benevolent acts you ever\nperformed.\"", "Adele, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax, than she summoned her to her\nsofa, and there quickly filled her lap with the porcelain, the ivory, the\nwaxen contents of her \"boite;\" pouring out, meantime, explanations and\nraptures in such broken English as she was mistress of.", "\"Now I have performed the part of a good host,\" pursued Mr. Rochester,\n\"put my guests into the way of amusing each other, I ought to be at\nliberty to attend to my own pleasure.", "Miss Eyre, draw your chair still a\nlittle farther forward: you are yet too far back; I cannot see you\nwithout disturbing my position in this comfortable chair, which I have no\nmind to do.\"", "I did as I was bid, though I would much rather have remained somewhat in\nthe shade; but Mr. Rochester had such a direct way of giving orders, it\nseemed a matter of course to obey him promptly.", "We were, as I have said, in the dining-room: the lustre, which had been\nlit for dinner, filled the room with a festal breadth of light; the large\nfire was all red and clear; the purple curtains hung rich and ample\nbefore the lofty window and loftier arch; everything was still, save the\nsubdued chat of Adele (she dared not speak loud), and, filling up each\npause, the beating of winter rain against the panes.", "Mr. Rochester, as he sat in his damask-covered chair, looked different to\nwhat I had seen him look before; not quite so stern--much less gloomy.", "There was a smile on his lips, and his eyes sparkled, whether with wine\nor not, I am not sure; but I think it very probable.", "He was, in short,\nin his after-dinner mood; more expanded and genial, and also more self-\nindulgent than the frigid and rigid temper of the morning; still he\nlooked preciously grim, cushioning his massive head against the swelling\nback of his chair, and receiving the light of the fire on his granite-\nhewn features, and in his great, dark eyes; for he had great, dark eyes,\nand very fine eyes, too--not without a certain change in their depths\nsometimes, which, if it was not softness, reminded you, at least, of that\nfeeling.", "He had been looking two minutes at the fire, and I had been looking the\nsame length of time at him, when, turning suddenly, he caught my gaze\nfastened on his physiognomy.", "\"You examine me, Miss Eyre,\" said he: \"do you think me handsome?\"", "I should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this question by\nsomething conventionally vague and polite; but the answer somehow slipped\nfrom my tongue before I was aware--\"No, sir.\"", "\"Ah!", "By my word!", "there is something singular about you,\" said he: \"you\nhave the air of a little _nonnette_; quaint, quiet, grave, and simple, as\nyou sit with your hands before you, and your eyes generally bent on the\ncarpet (except, by-the-bye, when they are directed piercingly to my face;\nas just now, for instance); and when one asks you a question, or makes a\nremark to which you are obliged to reply, you rap out a round rejoinder,\nwhich, if not blunt, is at least brusque.", "What do you mean by it?\"", "\"Sir, I was too plain; I beg your pardon.", "I ought to have replied that\nit was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a question about\nappearances; that tastes mostly differ; and that beauty is of little\nconsequence, or something of that sort.\"", "\"You ought to have replied no such thing.", "Beauty of little consequence,\nindeed!", "And so, under pretence of softening the previous outrage, of\nstroking and soothing me into placidity, you stick a sly penknife under\nmy ear!", "Go on: what fault do you find with me, pray?", "I suppose I have\nall my limbs and all my features like any other man?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, allow me to disown my first answer: I intended no pointed\nrepartee: it was only a blunder.\"", "\"Just so: I think so: and you shall be answerable for it.", "Criticise me:\ndoes my forehead not please you?\"", "He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizontally over his\nbrow, and showed a solid enough mass of intellectual organs, but an\nabrupt deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence should have risen.", "\"Now, ma'am, am I a fool?\"", "\"Far from it, sir.", "You would, perhaps, think me rude if I inquired in\nreturn whether you are a philanthropist?\"", "\"There again!", "Another stick of the penknife, when she pretended to pat\nmy head: and that is because I said I did not like the society of\nchildren and old women (low be it spoken!).", "No, young lady, I am not a\ngeneral philanthropist; but I bear a conscience;\" and he pointed to the\nprominences which are said to indicate that faculty, and which,\nfortunately for him, were sufficiently conspicuous; giving, indeed, a\nmarked breadth to the upper part of his head: \"and, besides, I once had a\nkind of rude tenderness of heart.", "When I was as old as you, I was a\nfeeling fellow enough, partial to the unfledged, unfostered, and unlucky;\nbut Fortune has knocked me about since: she has even kneaded me with her\nknuckles, and now I flatter myself I am hard and tough as an India-rubber\nball; pervious, though, through a chink or two still, and with one\nsentient point in the middle of the lump.", "Yes: does that leave hope for\nme?\"", "\"Hope of what, sir?\"", "\"Of my final re-transformation from India-rubber back to flesh?\"", "\"Decidedly he has had too much wine,\" I thought; and I did not know what\nanswer to make to his queer question: how could I tell whether he was\ncapable of being re-transformed?", "\"You looked very much puzzled, Miss Eyre; and though you are not pretty\nany more than I am handsome, yet a puzzled air becomes you; besides, it\nis convenient, for it keeps those searching eyes of yours away from my\nphysiognomy, and busies them with the worsted flowers of the rug; so\npuzzle on.", "Young lady, I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative\nto-night.\"", "With this announcement he rose from his chair, and stood, leaning his arm\non the marble mantelpiece: in that attitude his shape was seen plainly as\nwell as his face; his unusual breadth of chest, disproportionate almost\nto his length of limb.", "I am sure most people would have thought him an\nugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port; so much\nease in his demeanour; such a look of complete indifference to his own\nexternal appearance; so haughty a reliance on the power of other\nqualities, intrinsic or adventitious, to atone for the lack of mere\npersonal attractiveness, that, in looking at him, one inevitably shared\nthe indifference, and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith in the\nconfidence.", "\"I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to-night,\" he repeated,\n\"and that is why I sent for you: the fire and the chandelier were not\nsufficient company for me; nor would Pilot have been, for none of these\ncan talk.", "Adele is a degree better, but still far below the mark; Mrs.\nFairfax ditto; you, I am persuaded, can suit me if you will: you puzzled\nme the first evening I invited you down here.", "I have almost forgotten\nyou since: other ideas have driven yours from my head; but to-night I am\nresolved to be at ease; to dismiss what importunes, and recall what\npleases.", "It would please me now to draw you out--to learn more of\nyou--therefore speak.\"", "Instead of speaking, I smiled; and not a very complacent or submissive\nsmile either.", "\"Speak,\" he urged.", "\"What about, sir?\"", "\"Whatever you like.", "I leave both the choice of subject and the manner of\ntreating it entirely to yourself.\"", "Accordingly I sat and said nothing: \"If he expects me to talk for the\nmere sake of talking and showing off, he will find he has addressed\nhimself to the wrong person,\" I thought.", "\"You are dumb, Miss Eyre.\"", "I was dumb still.", "He bent his head a little towards me, and with a\nsingle hasty glance seemed to dive into my eyes.", "\"Stubborn?\"", "he said, \"and annoyed.", "Ah!", "it is consistent.", "I put my\nrequest in an absurd, almost insolent form.", "Miss Eyre, I beg your\npardon.", "The fact is, once for all, I don't wish to treat you like an\ninferior: that is\" (correcting himself), \"I claim only such superiority\nas must result from twenty years' difference in age and a century's\nadvance in experience.", "This is legitimate, _et j'y tiens_, as Adele\nwould say; and it is by virtue of this superiority, and this alone, that\nI desire you to have the goodness to talk to me a little now, and divert\nmy thoughts, which are galled with dwelling on one point--cankering as a\nrusty nail.\"", "He had deigned an explanation, almost an apology, and I did not feel\ninsensible to his condescension, and would not seem so.", "\"I am willing to amuse you, if I can, sir--quite willing; but I cannot\nintroduce a topic, because how do I know what will interest you?", "Ask me\nquestions, and I will do my best to answer them.\"", "\"Then, in the first place, do you agree with me that I have a right to be\na little masterful, abrupt, perhaps exacting, sometimes, on the grounds I\nstated, namely, that I am old enough to be your father, and that I have\nbattled through a varied experience with many men of many nations, and\nroamed over half the globe, while you have lived quietly with one set of\npeople in one house?\"", "\"Do as you please, sir.\"", "\"That is no answer; or rather it is a very irritating, because a very\nevasive one.", "Reply clearly.\"", "\"I don't think, sir, you have a right to command me, merely because you\nare older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have;\nyour claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time\nand experience.\"", "\"Humph!", "Promptly spoken.", "But I won't allow that, seeing that it would\nnever suit my case, as I have made an indifferent, not to say a bad, use\nof both advantages.", "Leaving superiority out of the question, then, you\nmust still agree to receive my orders now and then, without being piqued\nor hurt by the tone of command.", "Will you?\"", "I smiled: I thought to myself Mr. Rochester _is_ peculiar--he seems to\nforget that he pays me 30 pounds per annum for receiving his orders.", "\"The smile is very well,\" said he, catching instantly the passing\nexpression; \"but speak too.\"", "\"I was thinking, sir, that very few masters would trouble themselves to\ninquire whether or not their paid subordinates were piqued and hurt by\ntheir orders.\"", "\"Paid subordinates!", "What!", "you are my paid subordinate, are you?", "Oh yes,\nI had forgotten the salary!", "Well then, on that mercenary ground, will\nyou agree to let me hector a little?\"", "\"No, sir, not on that ground; but, on the ground that you did forget it,\nand that you care whether or not a dependent is comfortable in his\ndependency, I agree heartily.\"", "\"And will you consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms\nand phrases, without thinking that the omission arises from insolence?\"", "\"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence: one I\nrather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to, even for a\nsalary.\"", "\"Humbug!", "Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;\ntherefore, keep to yourself, and don't venture on generalities of which\nyou are intensely ignorant.", "However, I mentally shake hands with you for\nyour answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much for the manner in which\nit was said, as for the substance of the speech; the manner was frank and\nsincere; one does not often see such a manner: no, on the contrary,\naffectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of\none's meaning are the usual rewards of candour.", "Not three in three\nthousand raw school-girl-governesses would have answered me as you have\njust done.", "But I don't mean to flatter you: if you are cast in a\ndifferent mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: Nature did it.", "And then, after all, I go too fast in my conclusions: for what I yet\nknow, you may be no better than the rest; you may have intolerable\ndefects to counterbalance your few good points.\"", "\"And so may you,\" I thought.", "My eye met his as the idea crossed my mind:\nhe seemed to read the glance, answering as if its import had been spoken\nas well as imagined--\n\n\"Yes, yes, you are right,\" said he; \"I have plenty of faults of my own: I\nknow it, and I don't wish to palliate them, I assure you.", "God wot I need\nnot be too severe about others; I have a past existence, a series of\ndeeds, a colour of life to contemplate within my own breast, which might\nwell call my sneers and censures from my neighbours to myself.", "I\nstarted, or rather (for like other defaulters, I like to lay half the\nblame on ill fortune and adverse circumstances) was thrust on to a wrong\ntack at the age of one-and-twenty, and have never recovered the right\ncourse since: but I might have been very different; I might have been as\ngood as you--wiser--almost as stainless.", "I envy you your peace of mind,\nyour clean conscience, your unpolluted memory.", "Little girl, a memory\nwithout blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure--an\ninexhaustible source of pure refreshment: is it not?\"", "\"How was your memory when you were eighteen, sir?\"", "\"All right then; limpid, salubrious: no gush of bilge water had turned it\nto fetid puddle.", "I was your equal at eighteen--quite your equal.", "Nature\nmeant me to be, on the whole, a good man, Miss Eyre; one of the better\nkind, and you see I am not so.", "You would say you don't see it; at least\nI flatter myself I read as much in your eye (beware, by-the-bye, what you\nexpress with that organ; I am quick at interpreting its language).", "Then\ntake my word for it,--I am not a villain: you are not to suppose that--not\nto attribute to me any such bad eminence; but, owing, I verily believe,\nrather to circumstances than to my natural bent, I am a trite commonplace\nsinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich\nand worthless try to put on life.", "Do you wonder that I avow this to you?", "Know, that in the course of your future life you will often find yourself\nelected the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances' secrets: people\nwill instinctively find out, as I have done, that it is not your forte to\ntell of yourself, but to listen while others talk of themselves; they\nwill feel, too, that you listen with no malevolent scorn of their\nindiscretion, but with a kind of innate sympathy; not the less comforting\nand encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations.\"", "\"How do you know?--how can you guess all this, sir?\"", "\"I know it well; therefore I proceed almost as freely as if I were\nwriting my thoughts in a diary.", "You would say, I should have been\nsuperior to circumstances; so I should--so I should; but you see I was\nnot.", "When fate wronged me, I had not the wisdom to remain cool: I turned\ndesperate; then I degenerated.", "Now, when any vicious simpleton excites\nmy disgust by his paltry ribaldry, I cannot flatter myself that I am\nbetter than he: I am forced to confess that he and I are on a level.", "I\nwish I had stood firm--God knows I do!", "Dread remorse when you are\ntempted to err, Miss Eyre; remorse is the poison of life.\"", "\"Repentance is said to be its cure, sir.\"", "\"It is not its cure.", "Reformation may be its cure; and I could reform--I\nhave strength yet for that--if--but where is the use of thinking of it,\nhampered, burdened, cursed as I am?", "Besides, since happiness is\nirrevocably denied me, I have a right to get pleasure out of life: and I\n_will_ get it, cost what it may.\"", "\"Then you will degenerate still more, sir.\"", "\"Possibly: yet why should I, if I can get sweet, fresh pleasure?", "And I\nmay get it as sweet and fresh as the wild honey the bee gathers on the\nmoor.\"", "\"It will sting--it will taste bitter, sir.\"", "\"How do you know?--you never tried it.", "How very serious--how very solemn\nyou look: and you are as ignorant of the matter as this cameo head\"\n(taking one from the mantelpiece).", "\"You have no right to preach to me,\nyou neophyte, that have not passed the porch of life, and are absolutely\nunacquainted with its mysteries.\"", "\"I only remind you of your own words, sir: you said error brought\nremorse, and you pronounced remorse the poison of existence.\"", "\"And who talks of error now?", "I scarcely think the notion that flittered\nacross my brain was an error.", "I believe it was an inspiration rather\nthan a temptation: it was very genial, very soothing--I know that.", "Here\nit comes again!", "It is no devil, I assure you; or if it be, it has put on\nthe robes of an angel of light.", "I think I must admit so fair a guest\nwhen it asks entrance to my heart.\"", "\"Distrust it, sir; it is not a true angel.\"", "\"Once more, how do you know?", "By what instinct do you pretend to\ndistinguish between a fallen seraph of the abyss and a messenger from the\neternal throne--between a guide and a seducer?\"", "\"I judged by your countenance, sir, which was troubled when you said the\nsuggestion had returned upon you.", "I feel sure it will work you more\nmisery if you listen to it.\"", "\"Not at all--it bears the most gracious message in the world: for the\nrest, you are not my conscience-keeper, so don't make yourself uneasy.", "Here, come in, bonny wanderer!\"", "He said this as if he spoke to a vision, viewless to any eye but his own;\nthen, folding his arms, which he had half extended, on his chest, he\nseemed to enclose in their embrace the invisible being.", "\"Now,\" he continued, again addressing me, \"I have received the pilgrim--a\ndisguised deity, as I verily believe.", "Already it has done me good: my\nheart was a sort of charnel; it will now be a shrine.\"", "\"To speak truth, sir, I don't understand you at all: I cannot keep up the\nconversation, because it has got out of my depth.", "Only one thing, I\nknow: you said you were not as good as you should like to be, and that\nyou regretted your own imperfection;--one thing I can comprehend: you\nintimated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane.", "It seems\nto me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to\nbecome what you yourself would approve; and that if from this day you\nbegan with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would in\na few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to\nwhich you might revert with pleasure.\"", "\"Justly thought; rightly said, Miss Eyre; and, at this moment, I am\npaving hell with energy.\"", "\"Sir?\"", "\"I am laying down good intentions, which I believe durable as flint.", "Certainly, my associates and pursuits shall be other than they have\nbeen.\"", "\"And better?\"", "\"And better--so much better as pure ore is than foul dross.", "You seem to\ndoubt me; I don't doubt myself: I know what my aim is, what my motives\nare; and at this moment I pass a law, unalterable as that of the Medes\nand Persians, that both are right.\"", "\"They cannot be, sir, if they require a new statute to legalise them.\"", "\"They are, Miss Eyre, though they absolutely require a new statute:\nunheard-of combinations of circumstances demand unheard-of rules.\"", "\"That sounds a dangerous maxim, sir; because one can see at once that it\nis liable to abuse.\"", "\"Sententious sage!", "so it is: but I swear by my household gods not to\nabuse it.\"", "\"You are human and fallible.\"", "\"I am: so are you--what then?\"", "\"The human and fallible should not arrogate a power with which the divine\nand perfect alone can be safely intrusted.\"", "\"What power?\"", "\"That of saying of any strange, unsanctioned line of action,--'Let it be\nright.'\"", "\"'Let it be right'--the very words: you have pronounced them.\"", "\"_May_ it be right then,\" I said, as I rose, deeming it useless to\ncontinue a discourse which was all darkness to me; and, besides, sensible\nthat the character of my interlocutor was beyond my penetration; at\nleast, beyond its present reach; and feeling the uncertainty, the vague\nsense of insecurity, which accompanies a conviction of ignorance.", "\"Where are you going?\"", "\"To put Adele to bed: it is past her bedtime.\"", "\"You are afraid of me, because I talk like a Sphynx.\"", "\"Your language is enigmatical, sir: but though I am bewildered, I am\ncertainly not afraid.\"", "\"You _are_ afraid--your self-love dreads a blunder.\"", "\"In that sense I do feel apprehensive--I have no wish to talk nonsense.\"", "\"If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet manner, I should mistake\nit for sense.", "Do you never laugh, Miss Eyre?", "Don't trouble yourself to\nanswer--I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe\nme, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.", "The Lowood constraint still clings to you somewhat; controlling your\nfeatures, muffling your voice, and restricting your limbs; and you fear\nin the presence of a man and a brother--or father, or master, or what you\nwill--to smile too gaily, speak too freely, or move too quickly: but, in\ntime, I think you will learn to be natural with me, as I find it\nimpossible to be conventional with you; and then your looks and movements\nwill have more vivacity and variety than they dare offer now.", "I see at\nintervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close-set bars\nof a cage: a vivid, restless, resolute captive is there; were it but\nfree, it would soar cloud-high.", "You are still bent on going?\"", "\"It has struck nine, sir.\"", "\"Never mind,--wait a minute: Adele is not ready to go to bed yet.", "My\nposition, Miss Eyre, with my back to the fire, and my face to the room,\nfavours observation.", "While talking to you, I have also occasionally\nwatched Adele (I have my own reasons for thinking her a curious\nstudy,--reasons that I may, nay, that I shall, impart to you some day).", "She pulled out of her box, about ten minutes ago, a little pink silk\nfrock; rapture lit her face as she unfolded it; coquetry runs in her\nblood, blends with her brains, and seasons the marrow of her bones.", "'Il\nfaut que je l'essaie!'", "cried she, 'et a l'instant meme!'", "and she rushed\nout of the room.", "She is now with Sophie, undergoing a robing process: in\na few minutes she will re-enter; and I know what I shall see,--a\nminiature of Celine Varens, as she used to appear on the boards at the\nrising of--But never mind that.", "However, my tenderest feelings are about\nto receive a shock: such is my presentiment; stay now, to see whether it\nwill be realised.\"", "Ere long, Adele's little foot was heard tripping across the hall.", "She\nentered, transformed as her guardian had predicted.", "A dress of\nrose-coloured satin, very short, and as full in the skirt as it could be\ngathered, replaced the brown frock she had previously worn; a wreath of\nrosebuds circled her forehead; her feet were dressed in silk stockings\nand small white satin sandals.", "\"Est-ce que ma robe va bien?\"", "cried she, bounding forwards; \"et mes\nsouliers?", "et mes bas?", "Tenez, je crois que je vais danser!\"", "And spreading out her dress, she chasseed across the room till, having\nreached Mr. Rochester, she wheeled lightly round before him on tip-toe,\nthen dropped on one knee at his feet, exclaiming--\n\n\"Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte;\" then rising, she\nadded, \"C'est comme cela que maman faisait, n'est-ce pas, monsieur?\"", "\"Pre-cise-ly!\"", "was the answer; \"and, 'comme cela,' she charmed my English\ngold out of my British breeches' pocket.", "I have been green, too, Miss\nEyre,--ay, grass green: not a more vernal tint freshens you now than once\nfreshened me.", "My Spring is gone, however, but it has left me that French\nfloweret on my hands, which, in some moods, I would fain be rid of.", "Not\nvaluing now the root whence it sprang; having found that it was of a sort\nwhich nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the\nblossom, especially when it looks so artificial as just now.", "I keep it\nand rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous\nsins, great or small, by one good work.", "I'll explain all this some day.", "Good-night.\"" ]

[ "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "There was a smile on his lips, and his eyes sparkled, whether with wine\nor not, I am not sure; but I think it very probable.", "What do you mean by it?\"", "It would please me now to draw you out--to learn more of\nyou--therefore speak.\"", "\"Speak,\" he urged.", "\"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence: one I\nrather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to, even for a\nsalary.\"", "My eye met his as the idea crossed my mind:\nhe seemed to read the glance, answering as if its import had been spoken\nas well as imagined--\n\n\"Yes, yes, you are right,\" said he; \"I have plenty of faults of my own: I\nknow it, and I don't wish to palliate them, I assure you.", "Little girl, a memory\nwithout blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure--an\ninexhaustible source of pure refreshment: is it not?\"", "\"'Let it be right'--the very words: you have pronounced them.\"", "Tenez, je crois que je vais danser!\"" ]

[ "I keep it\nand rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous\nsins, great or small, by one good work.", "And so, under pretence of softening the previous outrage, of\nstroking and soothing me into placidity, you stick a sly penknife under\nmy ear!", "What do you mean by it?\"", "\"I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to-night,\" he repeated,\n\"and that is why I sent for you: the fire and the chandelier were not\nsufficient company for me; nor would Pilot have been, for none of these\ncan talk.", "Not\nvaluing now the root whence it sprang; having found that it was of a sort\nwhich nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the\nblossom, especially when it looks so artificial as just now.", "It would be intolerable to me to pass a whole evening\n_tete-a-tete_ with a brat.", "\"You examine me, Miss Eyre,\" said he: \"do you think me handsome?\"", "I ought to have replied that\nit was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a question about\nappearances; that tastes mostly differ; and that beauty is of little\nconsequence, or something of that sort.\"", "You seem to\ndoubt me; I don't doubt myself: I know what my aim is, what my motives\nare; and at this moment I pass a law, unalterable as that of the Medes\nand Persians, that both are right.\"", "It seems\nto me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to\nbecome what you yourself would approve; and that if from this day you\nbegan with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would in\na few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to\nwhich you might revert with pleasure.\"" ]

[ "\"Paid subordinates!", "What!", "you are my paid subordinate, are you?", "Oh yes,\nI had forgotten the salary!", "Well then, on that mercenary ground, will\nyou agree to let me hector a little?\"", "\"No, sir, not on that ground; but, on the ground that you did forget it,\nand that you care whether or not a dependent is comfortable in his\ndependency, I agree heartily.\"", "\"And will you consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms\nand phrases, without thinking that the omission arises from insolence?\"", "\"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence: one I\nrather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to, even for a\nsalary.\"", "\"Humbug!", "Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;\ntherefore, keep to yourself, and don't venture on generalities of which\nyou are intensely ignorant.", "However, I mentally shake hands with you for\nyour answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much for the manner in which\nit was said, as for the substance of the speech; the manner was frank and\nsincere; one does not often see such a manner: no, on the contrary,\naffectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of\none's meaning are the usual rewards of candour." ]

[ "\n\nFor several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester.", "In the\nmornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,\ngentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimes stayed\nto dine with him.", "When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse\nexercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to return these visits, as he\ngenerally did not come back till late at night.", "During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence, and\nall my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasional rencontre in\nthe hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would sometimes pass\nme haughtily and coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod\nor a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike\naffability.", "His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I\nhad nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on\ncauses quite disconnected with me.", "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "Soon after they were gone he rang the bell: a message came that I and\nAdele were to go downstairs.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "She was gratified: there\nit stood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.", "She appeared to know it by instinct.", "Tenez, je crois que je vais danser!\"", "And spreading out her dress, she chasseed across the room till, having\nreached Mr. Rochester, she wheeled lightly round before him on tip-toe,\nthen dropped on one knee at his feet, exclaiming--\n\n\"Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte;\" then rising, she\nadded, \"C'est comme cela que maman faisait, n'est-ce pas, monsieur?\"", "\"Pre-cise-ly!\"", "was the answer; \"and, 'comme cela,' she charmed my English\ngold out of my British breeches' pocket.", "I have been green, too, Miss\nEyre,--ay, grass green: not a more vernal tint freshens you now than once\nfreshened me.", "My Spring is gone, however, but it has left me that French\nfloweret on my hands, which, in some moods, I would fain be rid of.", "Not\nvaluing now the root whence it sprang; having found that it was of a sort\nwhich nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the\nblossom, especially when it looks so artificial as just now.", "I keep it\nand rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous\nsins, great or small, by one good work.", "I'll explain all this some day.", "Good-night.\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester did, on a future occasion, explain it.", "It was one\nafternoon, when he chanced to meet me and Adele in the grounds: and while\nshe played with Pilot and her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk up and\ndown a long beech avenue within sight of her.", "He then said that she was the daughter of a French opera-dancer, Celine\nVarens, towards whom he had once cherished what he called a \"_grande\npassion_.\"", "This passion Celine had professed to return with even\nsuperior ardour.", "He thought himself her idol, ugly as he was: he\nbelieved, as he said, that she preferred his \"_taille d'athlete_\" to the\nelegance of the Apollo Belvidere.", "\"And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this preference of the Gallic\nsylph for her British gnome, that I installed her in an hotel; gave her a\ncomplete establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds,\ndentelles, &c. In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the\nreceived style, like any other spoony.", "I had not, it seems, the\noriginality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction, but trode\nthe old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from the\nbeaten centre.", "I had--as I deserved to have--the fate of all other\nspoonies.", "Happening to call one evening when Celine did not expect me, I\nfound her out; but it was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling\nthrough Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air\nconsecrated so lately by her presence.", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "I was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of\nconservatory flowers and sprinkled essences, when I bethought myself to\nopen the window and step out on to the balcony.", "It was moonlight and\ngaslight besides, and very still and serene.", "The balcony was furnished\nwith a chair or two; I sat down, and took out a cigar,--I will take one\nnow, if you will excuse me.\"", "Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar;\nhaving placed it to his lips and breathed a trail of Havannah incense on\nthe freezing and sunless air, he went on--\n\n\"I liked bonbons too in those days, Miss Eyre, and I was\n_croquant_--(overlook the barbarism)--_croquant_ chocolate comfits, and\nsmoking alternately, watching meantime the equipages that rolled along\nthe fashionable streets towards the neighbouring opera-house, when in an\nelegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses, and\ndistinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognised the 'voiture' I\nhad given Celine.", "She was returning: of course my heart thumped with\nimpatience against the iron rails I leant upon.", "The carriage stopped, as\nI had expected, at the hotel door; my flame (that is the very word for an\nopera inamorata) alighted: though muffed in a cloak--an unnecessary\nencumbrance, by-the-bye, on so warm a June evening--I knew her instantly\nby her little foot, seen peeping from the skirt of her dress, as she\nskipped from the carriage-step.", "Bending over the balcony, I was about to\nmurmur 'Mon ange'--in a tone, of course, which should be audible to the\near of love alone--when a figure jumped from the carriage after her;\ncloaked also; but that was a spurred heel which had rung on the pavement,\nand that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched _porte\ncochere_ of the hotel.", "\"You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre?", "Of course not: I need not\nask you; because you never felt love.", "You have both sentiments yet to\nexperience: your soul sleeps; the shock is yet to be given which shall\nwaken it.", "You think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in\nwhich your youth has hitherto slid away.", "Floating on with closed eyes\nand muffled ears, you neither see the rocks bristling not far off in the\nbed of the flood, nor hear the breakers boil at their base.", "But I tell\nyou--and you may mark my words--you will come some day to a craggy pass\nin the channel, where the whole of life's stream will be broken up into\nwhirl and tumult, foam and noise: either you will be dashed to atoms on\ncrag points, or lifted up and borne on by some master-wave into a calmer\ncurrent--as I am now.", "\"I like this day; I like that sky of steel; I like the sternness and\nstillness of the world under this frost.", "I like Thornfield, its\nantiquity, its retirement, its old crow-trees and thorn-trees, its grey\nfacade, and lines of dark windows reflecting that metal welkin: and yet\nhow long have I abhorred the very thought of it, shunned it like a great\nplague-house?", "How I do still abhor--\"\n\nHe ground his teeth and was silent: he arrested his step and struck his\nboot against the hard ground.", "Some hated thought seemed to have him in\nits grip, and to hold him so tightly that he could not advance.", "We were ascending the avenue when he thus paused; the hall was before us.", "Lifting his eye to its battlements, he cast over them a glare such as I\nnever saw before or since.", "Pain, shame, ire, impatience, disgust,\ndetestation, seemed momentarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large\npupil dilating under his ebon eyebrow.", "Wild was the wrestle which should\nbe paramount; but another feeling rose and triumphed: something hard and\ncynical: self-willed and resolute: it settled his passion and petrified\nhis countenance: he went on--\n\n\"During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre, I was arranging a point with\nmy destiny.", "She stood there, by that beech-trunk--a hag like one of\nthose who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres.", "'You like\nThornfield?'", "she said, lifting her finger; and then she wrote in the air\na memento, which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along the house-front,\nbetween the upper and lower row of windows, 'Like it if you can!", "Like it\nif you dare!'", "\"'I will like it,' said I; 'I dare like it;' and\" (he subjoined moodily)\n\"I will keep my word; I will break obstacles to happiness, to\ngoodness--yes, goodness.", "I wish to be a better man than I have been,\nthan I am; as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, and the\nhabergeon, hindrances which others count as iron and brass, I will esteem\nbut straw and rotten wood.\"", "Adele here ran before him with her shuttlecock.", "\"Away!\"", "he cried\nharshly; \"keep at a distance, child; or go in to Sophie!\"", "Continuing\nthen to pursue his walk in silence, I ventured to recall him to the point\nwhence he had abruptly diverged--\n\n\"Did you leave the balcony, sir,\" I asked, \"when Mdlle.", "Varens entered?\"", "I almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well-timed question, but, on\nthe contrary, waking out of his scowling abstraction, he turned his eyes\ntowards me, and the shade seemed to clear off his brow.", "\"Oh, I had\nforgotten Celine!", "Well, to resume.", "When I saw my charmer thus come in\naccompanied by a cavalier, I seemed to hear a hiss, and the green snake\nof jealousy, rising on undulating coils from the moonlit balcony, glided\nwithin my waistcoat, and ate its way in two minutes to my heart's core.", "Strange!\"", "he exclaimed, suddenly starting again from the point.", "\"Strange\nthat I should choose you for the confidant of all this, young lady;\npassing strange that you should listen to me quietly, as if it were the\nmost usual thing in the world for a man like me to tell stories of his\nopera-mistresses to a quaint, inexperienced girl like you!", "But the last\nsingularity explains the first, as I intimated once before: you, with\nyour gravity, considerateness, and caution were made to be the recipient\nof secrets.", "Besides, I know what sort of a mind I have placed in\ncommunication with my own: I know it is one not liable to take infection:\nit is a peculiar mind: it is a unique one.", "Happily I do not mean to harm\nit: but, if I did, it would not take harm from me.", "The more you and I\nconverse, the better; for while I cannot blight you, you may refresh me.\"", "After this digression he proceeded--\n\n\"I remained in the balcony.", "'They will come to her boudoir, no doubt,'\nthought I: 'let me prepare an ambush.'", "So putting my hand in through the\nopen window, I drew the curtain over it, leaving only an opening through\nwhich I could take observations; then I closed the casement, all but a\nchink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to lovers' whispered vows:\nthen I stole back to my chair; and as I resumed it the pair came in.", "My\neye was quickly at the aperture.", "Celine's chamber-maid entered, lit a\nlamp, left it on the table, and withdrew.", "The couple were thus revealed\nto me clearly: both removed their cloaks, and there was 'the Varens,'\nshining in satin and jewels,--my gifts of course,--and there was her\ncompanion in an officer's uniform; and I knew him for a young roue of a\nvicomte--a brainless and vicious youth whom I had sometimes met in\nsociety, and had never thought of hating because I despised him so\nabsolutely.", "On recognising him, the fang of the snake Jealousy was\ninstantly broken; because at the same moment my love for Celine sank\nunder an extinguisher.", "A woman who could betray me for such a rival was\nnot worth contending for; she deserved only scorn; less, however, than I,\nwho had been her dupe.", "\"They began to talk; their conversation eased me completely: frivolous,\nmercenary, heartless, and senseless, it was rather calculated to weary\nthan enrage a listener.", "A card of mine lay on the table; this being\nperceived, brought my name under discussion.", "Neither of them possessed\nenergy or wit to belabour me soundly, but they insulted me as coarsely as\nthey could in their little way: especially Celine, who even waxed rather\nbrilliant on my personal defects--deformities she termed them.", "Now it\nhad been her custom to launch out into fervent admiration of what she\ncalled my '_beaute male_:' wherein she differed diametrically from you,\nwho told me point-blank, at the second interview, that you did not think\nme handsome.", "The contrast struck me at the time and--\"\n\nAdele here came running up again.", "\"Monsieur, John has just been to say that your agent has called and\nwishes to see you.\"", "\"Ah!", "in that case I must abridge.", "Opening the window, I walked in upon\nthem; liberated Celine from my protection; gave her notice to vacate her\nhotel; offered her a purse for immediate exigencies; disregarded screams,\nhysterics, prayers, protestations, convulsions; made an appointment with\nthe vicomte for a meeting at the Bois de Boulogne.", "Next morning I had\nthe pleasure of encountering him; left a bullet in one of his poor\netiolated arms, feeble as the wing of a chicken in the pip, and then\nthought I had done with the whole crew.", "But unluckily the Varens, six\nmonths before, had given me this filette Adele, who, she affirmed, was my\ndaughter; and perhaps she may be, though I see no proofs of such grim\npaternity written in her countenance: Pilot is more like me than she.", "Some years after I had broken with the mother, she abandoned her child,\nand ran away to Italy with a musician or singer.", "I acknowledged no\nnatural claim on Adele's part to be supported by me, nor do I now\nacknowledge any, for I am not her father; but hearing that she was quite\ndestitute, I e'en took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of Paris,\nand transplanted it here, to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of an\nEnglish country garden.", "Mrs. Fairfax found you to train it; but now you\nknow that it is the illegitimate offspring of a French opera-girl, you\nwill perhaps think differently of your post and protegee: you will be\ncoming to me some day with notice that you have found another place--that\nyou beg me to look out for a new governess, &c.--Eh?\"", "\"No: Adele is not answerable for either her mother's faults or yours: I\nhave a regard for her; and now that I know she is, in a sense,\nparentless--forsaken by her mother and disowned by you, sir--I shall\ncling closer to her than before.", "How could I possibly prefer the spoilt\npet of a wealthy family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance, to a\nlonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a friend?\"", "\"Oh, that is the light in which you view it!", "Well, I must go in now; and\nyou too: it darkens.\"", "But I stayed out a few minutes longer with Adele and Pilot--ran a race\nwith her, and played a game of battledore and shuttlecock.", "When we went\nin, and I had removed her bonnet and coat, I took her on my knee; kept\nher there an hour, allowing her to prattle as she liked: not rebuking\neven some little freedoms and trivialities into which she was apt to\nstray when much noticed, and which betrayed in her a superficiality of\ncharacter, inherited probably from her mother, hardly congenial to an\nEnglish mind.", "Still she had her merits; and I was disposed to appreciate\nall that was good in her to the utmost.", "I sought in her countenance and\nfeatures a likeness to Mr. Rochester, but found none: no trait, no turn\nof expression announced relationship.", "It was a pity: if she could but\nhave been proved to resemble him, he would have thought more of her.", "It was not till after I had withdrawn to my own chamber for the night,\nthat I steadily reviewed the tale Mr. Rochester had told me.", "As he had\nsaid, there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of\nthe narrative itself: a wealthy Englishman's passion for a French dancer,\nand her treachery to him, were every-day matters enough, no doubt, in\nsociety; but there was something decidedly strange in the paroxysm of\nemotion which had suddenly seized him when he was in the act of\nexpressing the present contentment of his mood, and his newly revived\npleasure in the old hall and its environs.", "I meditated wonderingly on\nthis incident; but gradually quitting it, as I found it for the present\ninexplicable, I turned to the consideration of my master's manner to\nmyself.", "The confidence he had thought fit to repose in me seemed a\ntribute to my discretion: I regarded and accepted it as such.", "His\ndeportment had now for some weeks been more uniform towards me than at\nthe first.", "I never seemed in his way; he did not take fits of chilling\nhauteur: when he met me unexpectedly, the encounter seemed welcome; he\nhad always a word and sometimes a smile for me: when summoned by formal\ninvitation to his presence, I was honoured by a cordiality of reception\nthat made me feel I really possessed the power to amuse him, and that\nthese evening conferences were sought as much for his pleasure as for my\nbenefit.", "I, indeed, talked comparatively little, but I heard him talk with relish.", "It was his nature to be communicative; he liked to open to a mind\nunacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways (I do not\nmean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways, but such as derived their\ninterest from the great scale on which they were acted, the strange\nnovelty by which they were characterised); and I had a keen delight in\nreceiving the new ideas he offered, in imagining the new pictures he\nportrayed, and following him in thought through the new regions he\ndisclosed, never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion.", "The ease of his manner freed me from painful restraint: the friendly\nfrankness, as correct as cordial, with which he treated me, drew me to\nhim.", "I felt at times as if he were my relation rather than my master:\nyet he was imperious sometimes still; but I did not mind that; I saw it\nwas his way.", "So happy, so gratified did I become with this new interest\nadded to life, that I ceased to pine after kindred: my thin\ncrescent-destiny seemed to enlarge; the blanks of existence were filled\nup; my bodily health improved; I gathered flesh and strength.", "And was Mr. Rochester now ugly in my eyes?", "No, reader: gratitude, and\nmany associations, all pleasurable and genial, made his face the object I\nbest liked to see; his presence in a room was more cheering than the\nbrightest fire.", "Yet I had not forgotten his faults; indeed, I could not,\nfor he brought them frequently before me.", "He was proud, sardonic, harsh\nto inferiority of every description: in my secret soul I knew that his\ngreat kindness to me was balanced by unjust severity to many others.", "He\nwas moody, too; unaccountably so; I more than once, when sent for to read\nto him, found him sitting in his library alone, with his head bent on his\nfolded arms; and, when he looked up, a morose, almost a malignant, scowl\nblackened his features.", "But I believed that his moodiness, his\nharshness, and his former faults of morality (I say _former_, for now he\nseemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate.", "I\nbelieved he was naturally a man of better tendencies, higher principles,\nand purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed, education\ninstilled, or destiny encouraged.", "I thought there were excellent\nmaterials in him; though for the present they hung together somewhat\nspoiled and tangled.", "I cannot deny that I grieved for his grief,\nwhatever that was, and would have given much to assuage it.", "Though I had now extinguished my candle and was laid down in bed, I could\nnot sleep for thinking of his look when he paused in the avenue, and told\nhow his destiny had risen up before him, and dared him to be happy at\nThornfield.", "\"Why not?\"", "I asked myself.", "\"What alienates him from the house?", "Will he\nleave it again soon?", "Mrs. Fairfax said he seldom stayed here longer than\na fortnight at a time; and he has now been resident eight weeks.", "If he\ndoes go, the change will be doleful.", "Suppose he should be absent spring,\nsummer, and autumn: how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem!\"", "I hardly know whether I had slept or not after this musing; at any rate,\nI started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur, peculiar and lugubrious,\nwhich sounded, I thought, just above me.", "I wished I had kept my candle\nburning: the night was drearily dark; my spirits were depressed.", "I rose\nand sat up in bed, listening.", "The sound was hushed.", "I tried again to sleep; but my heart beat anxiously: my inward\ntranquillity was broken.", "The clock, far down in the hall, struck two.", "Just then it seemed my chamber-door was touched; as if fingers had swept\nthe panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside.", "I said, \"Who\nis there?\"", "Nothing answered.", "I was chilled with fear.", "All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen-\ndoor chanced to be left open, not unfrequently found his way up to the\nthreshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber: I had seen him lying there myself\nin the mornings.", "The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down.", "Silence\ncomposes the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through\nthe whole house, I began to feel the return of slumber.", "But it was not\nfated that I should sleep that night.", "A dream had scarcely approached my\near, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident\nenough.", "This was a demoniac laugh--low, suppressed, and deep--uttered, as it\nseemed, at the very keyhole of my chamber door.", "The head of my bed was\nnear the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laugher stood at my\nbedside--or rather, crouched by my pillow: but I rose, looked round, and\ncould see nothing; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound was\nreiterated: and I knew it came from behind the panels.", "My first impulse\nwas to rise and fasten the bolt; my next, again to cry out, \"Who is\nthere?\"", "Something gurgled and moaned.", "Ere long, steps retreated up the gallery\ntowards the third-storey staircase: a door had lately been made to shut\nin that staircase; I heard it open and close, and all was still.", "\"Was that Grace Poole?", "and is she possessed with a devil?\"", "thought I.", "Impossible now to remain longer by myself: I must go to Mrs. Fairfax.", "I\nhurried on my frock and a shawl; I withdrew the bolt and opened the door\nwith a trembling hand.", "There was a candle burning just outside, and on\nthe matting in the gallery.", "I was surprised at this circumstance: but\nstill more was I amazed to perceive the air quite dim, as if filled with\nsmoke; and, while looking to the right hand and left, to find whence\nthese blue wreaths issued, I became further aware of a strong smell of\nburning.", "Something creaked: it was a door ajar; and that door was Mr. Rochester's,\nand the smoke rushed in a cloud from thence.", "I thought no more of Mrs.\nFairfax; I thought no more of Grace Poole, or the laugh: in an instant, I\nwas within the chamber.", "Tongues of flame darted round the bed: the\ncurtains were on fire.", "In the midst of blaze and vapour, Mr. Rochester\nlay stretched motionless, in deep sleep.", "\"Wake!", "wake!\"", "I cried.", "I shook him, but he only murmured and turned: the\nsmoke had stupefied him.", "Not a moment could be lost: the very sheets\nwere kindling, I rushed to his basin and ewer; fortunately, one was wide\nand the other deep, and both were filled with water.", "I heaved them up,\ndeluged the bed and its occupant, flew back to my own room, brought my\nown water-jug, baptized the couch afresh, and, by God's aid, succeeded in\nextinguishing the flames which were devouring it.", "The hiss of the quenched element, the breakage of a pitcher which I flung\nfrom my hand when I had emptied it, and, above all, the splash of the\nshower-bath I had liberally bestowed, roused Mr. Rochester at last.", "Though it was now dark, I knew he was awake; because I heard him\nfulminating strange anathemas at finding himself lying in a pool of\nwater.", "\"Is there a flood?\"", "he cried.", "\"No, sir,\" I answered; \"but there has been a fire: get up, do; you are\nquenched now; I will fetch you a candle.\"", "\"In the name of all the elves in Christendom, is that Jane Eyre?\"", "he\ndemanded.", "\"What have you done with me, witch, sorceress?", "Who is in the\nroom besides you?", "Have you plotted to drown me?\"", "\"I will fetch you a candle, sir; and, in Heaven's name, get up.", "Somebody\nhas plotted something: you cannot too soon find out who and what it is.\"", "\"There!", "I am up now; but at your peril you fetch a candle yet: wait two\nminutes till I get into some dry garments, if any dry there be--yes, here\nis my dressing-gown.", "Now run!\"", "I did run; I brought the candle which still remained in the gallery.", "He\ntook it from my hand, held it up, and surveyed the bed, all blackened and\nscorched, the sheets drenched, the carpet round swimming in water.", "\"What is it?", "and who did it?\"", "he asked.", "I briefly related to him what\nhad transpired: the strange laugh I had heard in the gallery: the step\nascending to the third storey; the smoke,--the smell of fire which had\nconducted me to his room; in what state I had found matters there, and\nhow I had deluged him with all the water I could lay hands on.", "{\"What is it and who did it?\"", "he asked: p140.jpg}\n\nHe listened very gravely; his face, as I went on, expressed more concern\nthan astonishment; he did not immediately speak when I had concluded.", "\"Shall I call Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "I asked.", "\"Mrs. Fairfax?", "No; what the deuce would you call her for?", "What can she\ndo?", "Let her sleep unmolested.\"", "\"Then I will fetch Leah, and wake John and his wife.\"", "\"Not at all: just be still.", "You have a shawl on.", "If you are not warm\nenough, you may take my cloak yonder; wrap it about you, and sit down in\nthe arm-chair: there,--I will put it on.", "Now place your feet on the\nstool, to keep them out of the wet.", "I am going to leave you a few\nminutes.", "I shall take the candle.", "Remain where you are till I return;\nbe as still as a mouse.", "I must pay a visit to the second storey.", "Don't\nmove, remember, or call any one.\"", "He went: I watched the light withdraw.", "He passed up the gallery very\nsoftly, unclosed the staircase door with as little noise as possible,\nshut it after him, and the last ray vanished.", "I was left in total\ndarkness.", "I listened for some noise, but heard nothing.", "A very long\ntime elapsed.", "I grew weary: it was cold, in spite of the cloak; and then\nI did not see the use of staying, as I was not to rouse the house.", "I was\non the point of risking Mr. Rochester's displeasure by disobeying his\norders, when the light once more gleamed dimly on the gallery wall, and I\nheard his unshod feet tread the matting.", "\"I hope it is he,\" thought I,\n\"and not something worse.\"", "He re-entered, pale and very gloomy.", "\"I have found it all out,\" said he,\nsetting his candle down on the washstand; \"it is as I thought.\"", "\"How, sir?\"", "He made no reply, but stood with his arms folded, looking on the ground.", "At the end of a few minutes he inquired in rather a peculiar tone--\n\n\"I forget whether you said you saw anything when you opened your chamber\ndoor.\"", "\"No, sir, only the candlestick on the ground.\"", "\"But you heard an odd laugh?", "You have heard that laugh before, I should\nthink, or something like it?\"", "\"Yes, sir: there is a woman who sews here, called Grace Poole,--she\nlaughs in that way.", "She is a singular person.\"", "\"Just so.", "Grace Poole--you have guessed it.", "She is, as you say,\nsingular--very.", "Well, I shall reflect on the subject.", "Meantime, I am\nglad that you are the only person, besides myself, acquainted with the\nprecise details of to-night's incident.", "You are no talking fool: say\nnothing about it.", "I will account for this state of affairs\" (pointing to\nthe bed): \"and now return to your own room.", "I shall do very well on the\nsofa in the library for the rest of the night.", "It is near four:--in two\nhours the servants will be up.\"", "\"Good-night, then, sir,\" said I, departing.", "He seemed surprised--very inconsistently so, as he had just told me to\ngo.", "\"What!\"", "he exclaimed, \"are you quitting me already, and in that way?\"", "\"You said I might go, sir.\"", "\"But not without taking leave; not without a word or two of\nacknowledgment and good-will: not, in short, in that brief, dry fashion.", "Why, you have saved my life!--snatched me from a horrible and\nexcruciating death!", "and you walk past me as if we were mutual strangers!", "At least shake hands.\"", "He held out his hand; I gave him mine: he took it first in one, them in\nboth his own.", "\"You have saved my life: I have a pleasure in owing you so immense a\ndebt.", "I cannot say more.", "Nothing else that has being would have been\ntolerable to me in the character of creditor for such an obligation: but\nyou: it is different;--I feel your benefits no burden, Jane.\"", "He paused; gazed at me: words almost visible trembled on his lips,--but\nhis voice was checked.", "\"Good-night again, sir.", "There is no debt, benefit, burden, obligation,\nin the case.\"", "\"I knew,\" he continued, \"you would do me good in some way, at some\ntime;--I saw it in your eyes when I first beheld you: their expression\nand smile did not\"--(again he stopped)--\"did not\" (he proceeded hastily)\n\"strike delight to my very inmost heart so for nothing.", "People talk of\nnatural sympathies; I have heard of good genii: there are grains of truth\nin the wildest fable.", "My cherished preserver, goodnight!\"", "Strange energy was in his voice, strange fire in his look.", "\"I am glad I happened to be awake,\" I said: and then I was going.", "\"What!", "you _will_ go?\"", "\"I am cold, sir.\"", "\"Cold?", "Yes,--and standing in a pool!", "Go, then, Jane; go!\"", "But he still\nretained my hand, and I could not free it.", "I bethought myself of an\nexpedient.", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I.", "\"Well, leave me:\" he relaxed his fingers, and I was gone.", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.", "Till morning dawned I\nwas tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled\nunder surges of joy.", "I thought sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a\nshore, sweet as the hills of Beulah; and now and then a freshening gale,\nwakened by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne: but I\ncould not reach it, even in fancy--a counteracting breeze blew off land,\nand continually drove me back.", "Sense would resist delirium: judgment\nwould warn passion.", "Too feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned." ]

[ "\"I like this day; I like that sky of steel; I like the sternness and\nstillness of the world under this frost.", "So putting my hand in through the\nopen window, I drew the curtain over it, leaving only an opening through\nwhich I could take observations; then I closed the casement, all but a\nchink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to lovers' whispered vows:\nthen I stole back to my chair; and as I resumed it the pair came in.", "\"They began to talk; their conversation eased me completely: frivolous,\nmercenary, heartless, and senseless, it was rather calculated to weary\nthan enrage a listener.", "I, indeed, talked comparatively little, but I heard him talk with relish.", "But I believed that his moodiness, his\nharshness, and his former faults of morality (I say _former_, for now he\nseemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate.", "The clock, far down in the hall, struck two.", "My first impulse\nwas to rise and fasten the bolt; my next, again to cry out, \"Who is\nthere?\"", "The hiss of the quenched element, the breakage of a pitcher which I flung\nfrom my hand when I had emptied it, and, above all, the splash of the\nshower-bath I had liberally bestowed, roused Mr. Rochester at last.", "Yes,--and standing in a pool!", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep." ]

[ "Bending over the balcony, I was about to\nmurmur 'Mon ange'--in a tone, of course, which should be audible to the\near of love alone--when a figure jumped from the carriage after her;\ncloaked also; but that was a spurred heel which had rung on the pavement,\nand that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched _porte\ncochere_ of the hotel.", "It was his nature to be communicative; he liked to open to a mind\nunacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways (I do not\nmean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways, but such as derived their\ninterest from the great scale on which they were acted, the strange\nnovelty by which they were characterised); and I had a keen delight in\nreceiving the new ideas he offered, in imagining the new pictures he\nportrayed, and following him in thought through the new regions he\ndisclosed, never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion.", "The balcony was furnished\nwith a chair or two; I sat down, and took out a cigar,--I will take one\nnow, if you will excuse me.\"", "Fairfax?\"", "I will account for this state of affairs\" (pointing to\nthe bed): \"and now return to your own room.", "After this digression he proceeded--\n\n\"I remained in the balcony.", "Neither of them possessed\nenergy or wit to belabour me soundly, but they insulted me as coarsely as\nthey could in their little way: especially Celine, who even waxed rather\nbrilliant on my personal defects--deformities she termed them.", "I was chilled with fear.", "I shall do very well on the\nsofa in the library for the rest of the night.", "I did run; I brought the candle which still remained in the gallery." ]

[ "I was chilled with fear.", "All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen-\ndoor chanced to be left open, not unfrequently found his way up to the\nthreshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber: I had seen him lying there myself\nin the mornings.", "The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down.", "Silence\ncomposes the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through\nthe whole house, I began to feel the return of slumber.", "But it was not\nfated that I should sleep that night.", "A dream had scarcely approached my\near, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident\nenough.", "This was a demoniac laugh--low, suppressed, and deep--uttered, as it\nseemed, at the very keyhole of my chamber door.", "The head of my bed was\nnear the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laugher stood at my\nbedside--or rather, crouched by my pillow: but I rose, looked round, and\ncould see nothing; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound was\nreiterated: and I knew it came from behind the panels.", "My first impulse\nwas to rise and fasten the bolt; my next, again to cry out, \"Who is\nthere?\"", "Something gurgled and moaned.", "Ere long, steps retreated up the gallery\ntowards the third-storey staircase: a door had lately been made to shut\nin that staircase; I heard it open and close, and all was still." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester did, on a future occasion, explain it.", "It was one\nafternoon, when he chanced to meet me and Adele in the grounds: and while\nshe played with Pilot and her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk up and\ndown a long beech avenue within sight of her.", "He then said that she was the daughter of a French opera-dancer, Celine\nVarens, towards whom he had once cherished what he called a \"_grande\npassion_.\"", "This passion Celine had professed to return with even\nsuperior ardour.", "He thought himself her idol, ugly as he was: he\nbelieved, as he said, that she preferred his \"_taille d'athlete_\" to the\nelegance of the Apollo Belvidere.", "\"And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this preference of the Gallic\nsylph for her British gnome, that I installed her in an hotel; gave her a\ncomplete establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds,\ndentelles, &c. In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the\nreceived style, like any other spoony.", "I had not, it seems, the\noriginality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction, but trode\nthe old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from the\nbeaten centre.", "I had--as I deserved to have--the fate of all other\nspoonies.", "Happening to call one evening when Celine did not expect me, I\nfound her out; but it was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling\nthrough Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air\nconsecrated so lately by her presence.", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "Go, then, Jane; go!\"", "But he still\nretained my hand, and I could not free it.", "I bethought myself of an\nexpedient.", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I.", "\"Well, leave me:\" he relaxed his fingers, and I was gone.", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.", "Till morning dawned I\nwas tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled\nunder surges of joy.", "I thought sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a\nshore, sweet as the hills of Beulah; and now and then a freshening gale,\nwakened by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne: but I\ncould not reach it, even in fancy--a counteracting breeze blew off land,\nand continually drove me back.", "Sense would resist delirium: judgment\nwould warn passion.", "Too feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "It\ncontained a bookcase: I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care\nthat it should be one stored with pictures.", "I mounted into the window-\nseat: gathering up my feet, I sat cross-legged, like a Turk; and, having\ndrawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in double\nretirement.", "Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the right hand; to the left\nwere the clear panes of glass, protecting, but not separating me from the\ndrear November day.", "At intervals, while turning over the leaves of my\nbook, I studied the aspect of that winter afternoon.", "Afar, it offered a\npale blank of mist and cloud; near a scene of wet lawn and storm-beat\nshrub, with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and\nlamentable blast.", "I returned to my book--Bewick's History of British Birds: the letterpress\nthereof I cared little for, generally speaking; and yet there were\ncertain introductory pages that, child as I was, I could not pass quite\nas a blank.", "They were those which treat of the haunts of sea-fowl; of\n\"the solitary rocks and promontories\" by them only inhabited; of the\ncoast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern extremity, the\nLindeness, or Naze, to the North Cape--\n\n \"Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,\n Boils round the naked, melancholy isles\n Of farthest Thule; and the Atlantic surge\n Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.\"", "Nor could I pass unnoticed the suggestion of the bleak shores of Lapland,\nSiberia, Spitzbergen, Nova Zembla, Iceland, Greenland, with \"the vast\nsweep of the Arctic Zone, and those forlorn regions of dreary space,--that\nreservoir of frost and snow, where firm fields of ice, the accumulation\nof centuries of winters, glazed in Alpine heights above heights, surround\nthe pole, and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold.\"", "Of\nthese death-white realms I formed an idea of my own: shadowy, like all\nthe half-comprehended notions that float dim through children's brains,\nbut strangely impressive.", "The words in these introductory pages\nconnected themselves with the succeeding vignettes, and gave significance\nto the rock standing up alone in a sea of billow and spray; to the broken\nboat stranded on a desolate coast; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing\nthrough bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking.", "I cannot tell what sentiment haunted the quite solitary churchyard, with\nits inscribed headstone; its gate, its two trees, its low horizon,\ngirdled by a broken wall, and its newly-risen crescent, attesting the\nhour of eventide.", "The two ships becalmed on a torpid sea, I believed to be marine phantoms.", "The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind him, I passed over\nquickly: it was an object of terror.", "So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock, surveying a distant\ncrowd surrounding a gallows.", "Each picture told a story; mysterious often to my undeveloped\nunderstanding and imperfect feelings, yet ever profoundly interesting: as\ninteresting as the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings,\nwhen she chanced to be in good humour; and when, having brought her\nironing-table to the nursery hearth, she allowed us to sit about it, and\nwhile she got up Mrs. Reed's lace frills, and crimped her nightcap\nborders, fed our eager attention with passages of love and adventure\ntaken from old fairy tales and other ballads; or (as at a later period I\ndiscovered) from the pages of Pamela, and Henry, Earl of Moreland.", "With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy: happy at least in my way.", "I\nfeared nothing but interruption, and that came too soon.", "The breakfast-\nroom door opened.", "\"Boh!", "Madam Mope!\"", "cried the voice of John Reed; then he paused: he\nfound the room apparently empty.", "\"Where the dickens is she!\"", "he continued.", "\"Lizzy!", "Georgy!", "(calling to\nhis sisters) Joan is not here: tell mama she is run out into the rain--bad\nanimal!\"", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "And I came out immediately, for I trembled at the idea of being dragged\nforth by the said Jack.", "\"What do you want?\"", "I asked, with awkward diffidence.", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back.", "Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his chair: he spent some three\nminutes in thrusting out his tongue at me as far as he could without\ndamaging the roots: I knew he would soon strike, and while dreading the\nblow, I mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would\npresently deal it.", "I wonder if he read that notion in my face; for, all\nat once, without speaking, he struck suddenly and strongly.", "I tottered,\nand on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his\nchair.", "\"That is for your impudence in answering mama awhile since,\" said he,\n\"and for your sneaking way of getting behind curtains, and for the look\nyou had in your eyes two minutes since, you rat!\"", "Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it;\nmy care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the\ninsult.", "\"What were you doing behind the curtain?\"", "he asked.", "\"I was reading.\"", "\"Show the book.\"", "I returned to the window and fetched it thence.", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "Now, I'll teach you to\nrummage my bookshelves: for they _are_ mine; all the house belongs to me,\nor will do in a few years.", "Go and stand by the door, out of the way of\nthe mirror and the windows.\"", "I did so, not at first aware what was his intention; but when I saw him\nlift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it, I instinctively\nstarted aside with a cry of alarm: not soon enough, however; the volume\nwas flung, it hit me, and I fell, striking my head against the door and\ncutting it.", "The cut bled, the pain was sharp: my terror had passed its\nclimax; other feelings succeeded.", "\"Wicked and cruel boy!\"", "I said.", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"", "I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome, and had formed my opinion of\nNero, Caligula, etc.", "Also I had drawn parallels in silence, which I never\nthought thus to have declared aloud.", "\"What!", "what!\"", "he cried.", "\"Did she say that to me?", "Did you hear her,\nEliza and Georgiana?", "Won't I tell mama?", "but first--\"\n\nHe ran headlong at me: I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder: he had\nclosed with a desperate thing.", "I really saw in him a tyrant, a murderer.", "I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my neck, and was\nsensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations for the time\npredominated over fear, and I received him in frantic sort.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I asked.", "At intervals, while turning over the leaves of my\nbook, I studied the aspect of that winter afternoon.", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "I returned to the window and fetched it thence.", "Go and stand by the door, out of the way of\nthe mirror and the windows.\"", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"", "Won't I tell mama?", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"" ]

[ "Now, I'll teach you to\nrummage my bookshelves: for they _are_ mine; all the house belongs to me,\nor will do in a few years.", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "dear!", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "he continued.", "I returned to the window and fetched it thence.", "\"What do you want?\"", "Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it;\nmy care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the\ninsult.", "cried the voice of John Reed; then he paused: he\nfound the room apparently empty.", "\"Wicked and cruel boy!\"" ]

[ "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "Am I a servant?\"", "\"No; you are less than a servant, for you do nothing for your keep.", "There, sit down, and think over your wickedness.\"", "They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs. Reed,\nand had thrust me upon a stool: my impulse was to rise from it like a\nspring; their two pair of hands arrested me instantly.", "\"If you don't sit still, you must be tied down,\" said Bessie.", "\"Miss\nAbbot, lend me your garters; she would break mine directly.\"", "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "This\npreparation for bonds, and the additional ignominy it inferred, took a\nlittle of the excitement out of me.", "\"Don't take them off,\" I cried; \"I will not stir.\"", "In guarantee whereof, I attached myself to my seat by my hands.", "\"Mind you don't,\" said Bessie; and when she had ascertained that I was\nreally subsiding, she loosened her hold of me; then she and Miss Abbot\nstood with folded arms, looking darkly and doubtfully on my face, as\nincredulous of my sanity.", "\"She never did so before,\" at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.", "\"But it was always in her,\" was the reply.", "\"I've told Missis often my\nopinion about the child, and Missis agreed with me.", "She's an underhand\nlittle thing: I never saw a girl of her age with so much cover.\"", "Bessie answered not; but ere long, addressing me, she said--\"You ought to\nbe aware, Miss, that you are under obligations to Mrs. Reed: she keeps\nyou: if she were to turn you off, you would have to go to the poorhouse.\"", "I had nothing to say to these words: they were not new to me: my very\nfirst recollections of existence included hints of the same kind.", "This\nreproach of my dependence had become a vague sing-song in my ear: very\npainful and crushing, but only half intelligible.", "Miss Abbot joined in--\n\n\"And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses Reed\nand Master Reed, because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up with\nthem.", "They will have a great deal of money, and you will have none: it\nis your place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to\nthem.\"", "\"What we tell you is for your good,\" added Bessie, in no harsh voice,\n\"you should try to be useful and pleasant, then, perhaps, you would have\na home here; but if you become passionate and rude, Missis will send you\naway, I am sure.\"", "\"Besides,\" said Miss Abbot, \"God will punish her: He might strike her\ndead in the midst of her tantrums, and then where would she go?", "Come,\nBessie, we will leave her: I wouldn't have her heart for anything.", "Say\nyour prayers, Miss Eyre, when you are by yourself; for if you don't\nrepent, something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and\nfetch you away.\"", "They went, shutting the door, and locking it behind them.", "The red-room was a square chamber, very seldom slept in, I might say\nnever, indeed, unless when a chance influx of visitors at Gateshead Hall\nrendered it necessary to turn to account all the accommodation it\ncontained: yet it was one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the\nmansion.", "A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany, hung with\ncurtains of deep red damask, stood out like a tabernacle in the centre;\nthe two large windows, with their blinds always drawn down, were half\nshrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery; the carpet was red;\nthe table at the foot of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth; the\nwalls were a soft fawn colour with a blush of pink in it; the wardrobe,\nthe toilet-table, the chairs were of darkly polished old mahogany.", "Out\nof these deep surrounding shades rose high, and glared white, the piled-\nup mattresses and pillows of the bed, spread with a snowy Marseilles\ncounterpane.", "Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy-chair\nnear the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool before it; and\nlooking, as I thought, like a pale throne.", "This room was chill, because it seldom had a fire; it was silent, because\nremote from the nursery and kitchen; solemn, because it was known to be\nso seldom entered.", "The house-maid alone came here on Saturdays, to wipe\nfrom the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet dust: and Mrs. Reed\nherself, at far intervals, visited it to review the contents of a certain\nsecret drawer in the wardrobe, where were stored divers parchments, her\njewel-casket, and a miniature of her deceased husband; and in those last\nwords lies the secret of the red-room--the spell which kept it so lonely\nin spite of its grandeur.", "Mr. Reed had been dead nine years: it was in this chamber he breathed his\nlast; here he lay in state; hence his coffin was borne by the\nundertaker's men; and, since that day, a sense of dreary consecration had\nguarded it from frequent intrusion.", "My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me riveted,\nwas a low ottoman near the marble chimney-piece; the bed rose before me;\nto my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe, with subdued, broken\nreflections varying the gloss of its panels; to my left were the muffled\nwindows; a great looking-glass between them repeated the vacant majesty\nof the bed and room.", "I was not quite sure whether they had locked the\ndoor; and when I dared move, I got up and went to see.", "Alas!", "yes: no\njail was ever more secure.", "Returning, I had to cross before the looking-\nglass; my fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed.", "All looked colder and darker in that visionary hollow than in reality:\nand the strange little figure there gazing at me, with a white face and\narms specking the gloom, and glittering eyes of fear moving where all\nelse was still, had the effect of a real spirit: I thought it like one of\nthe tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening stories\nrepresented as coming out of lone, ferny dells in moors, and appearing\nbefore the eyes of belated travellers.", "I returned to my stool.", "Superstition was with me at that moment; but it was not yet her hour for\ncomplete victory: my blood was still warm; the mood of the revolted slave\nwas still bracing me with its bitter vigour; I had to stem a rapid rush\nof retrospective thought before I quailed to the dismal present.", "All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud indifference,\nall his mother's aversion, all the servants' partiality, turned up in my\ndisturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well.", "Why was I always\nsuffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned?", "Why\ncould I never please?", "Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?", "Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was respected.", "Georgiana, who had\na spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,\nwas universally indulged.", "Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls,\nseemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to purchase\nindemnity for every fault.", "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them.", "They were not\nbound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one\namongst them; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to them in temperament, in\ncapacity, in propensities; a useless thing, incapable of serving their\ninterest, or adding to their pleasure; a noxious thing, cherishing the\ngerms of indignation at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment.", "I\nknow that had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting, handsome,\nromping child--though equally dependent and friendless--Mrs. Reed would\nhave endured my presence more complacently; her children would have\nentertained for me more of the cordiality of fellow-feeling; the servants\nwould have been less prone to make me the scapegoat of the nursery.", "Daylight began to forsake the red-room; it was past four o'clock, and the\nbeclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.", "I heard the rain\nstill beating continuously on the staircase window, and the wind howling\nin the grove behind the hall; I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then\nmy courage sank.", "My habitual mood of humiliation, self-doubt, forlorn\ndepression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying ire.", "All said I was\nwicked, and perhaps I might be so; what thought had I been but just\nconceiving of starving myself to death?", "That certainly was a crime: and\nwas I fit to die?", "Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church\nan inviting bourne?", "In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie\nburied; and led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with\ngathering dread.", "I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own\nuncle--my mother's brother--that he had taken me when a parentless infant\nto his house; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of\nMrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children.", "Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise; and so she had,\nI dare say, as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she\nreally like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her,\nafter her husband's death, by any tie?", "It must have been most irksome to\nfind herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a\nparent to a strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial\nalien permanently intruded on her own family group.", "A singular notion dawned upon me.", "I doubted not--never doubted--that if\nMr. Reed had been alive he would have treated me kindly; and now, as I\nsat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls--occasionally also\nturning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror--I began to\nrecall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the\nviolation of their last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the\nperjured and avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr. Reed's spirit,\nharassed by the wrongs of his sister's child, might quit its\nabode--whether in the church vault or in the unknown world of the\ndeparted--and rise before me in this chamber.", "I wiped my tears and\nhushed my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a\npreternatural voice to comfort me, or elicit from the gloom some haloed\nface, bending over me with strange pity.", "This idea, consolatory in\ntheory, I felt would be terrible if realised: with all my might I\nendeavoured to stifle it--I endeavoured to be firm.", "Shaking my hair from\nmy eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly round the dark room;\nat this moment a light gleamed on the wall.", "Was it, I asked myself, a\nray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind?", "No; moonlight\nwas still, and this stirred; while I gazed, it glided up to the ceiling\nand quivered over my head.", "I can now conjecture readily that this streak\nof light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some\none across the lawn: but then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken\nas my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift darting beam was a\nherald of some coming vision from another world.", "My heart beat thick, my\nhead grew hot; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed the rushing of\nwings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed, suffocated: endurance\nbroke down; I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort.", "Steps came running along the outer passage; the key turned, Bessie and\nAbbot entered.", "\"Miss Eyre, are you ill?\"", "said Bessie.", "\"What a dreadful noise!", "it went quite through me!\"", "exclaimed Abbot.", "\"Take me out!", "Let me go into the nursery!\"", "was my cry.", "\"What for?", "Are you hurt?", "Have you seen something?\"", "again demanded\nBessie.", "\"Oh!", "I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come.\"", "I had now got\nhold of Bessie's hand, and she did not snatch it from me.", "\"She has screamed out on purpose,\" declared Abbot, in some disgust.", "\"And\nwhat a scream!", "If she had been in great pain one would have excused it,\nbut she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.\"", "\"What is all this?\"", "demanded another voice peremptorily; and Mrs. Reed\ncame along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling stormily.", "\"Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave orders that Jane Eyre should be left\nin the red-room till I came to her myself.\"", "\"Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma'am,\" pleaded Bessie.", "\"Let her go,\" was the only answer.", "\"Loose Bessie's hand, child: you\ncannot succeed in getting out by these means, be assured.", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene." ]

[ "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "This\npreparation for bonds, and the additional ignominy it inferred, took a\nlittle of the excitement out of me.", "Say\nyour prayers, Miss Eyre, when you are by yourself; for if you don't\nrepent, something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and\nfetch you away.\"", "Returning, I had to cross before the looking-\nglass; my fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed.", "Why was I always\nsuffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned?", "Georgiana, who had\na spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,\nwas universally indulged.", "it went quite through me!\"", "was my cry.", "\"Let her go,\" was the only answer." ]

[ "I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own\nuncle--my mother's brother--that he had taken me when a parentless infant\nto his house; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of\nMrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children.", "Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?", "\"What a dreadful noise!", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "She's an underhand\nlittle thing: I never saw a girl of her age with so much cover.\"", "Are you hurt?", "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "for shame!\"" ]

[ "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene." ]

[ "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand: he took it,\nsmiling and saying, \"We shall do very well by-and-by.\"", "Then he laid me\ndown, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was\nnot disturbed during the night.", "Having given some further directions,\nand intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed; to my\ngrief: I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near\nmy pillow; and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and\nmy heart again sank: inexpressible sadness weighed it down.", "\"Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?\"", "asked Bessie, rather softly.", "Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentence might be\nrough.", "\"I will try.\"", "\"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?\"", "\"No, thank you, Bessie.\"", "\"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you\nmay call me if you want anything in the night.\"", "Wonderful civility this!", "It emboldened me to ask a question.", "\"Bessie, what is the matter with me?", "Am I ill?\"", "\"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll be better\nsoon, no doubt.\"", "Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near.", "I heard her\nsay--\n\n\"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for my life be\nalone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it's such a strange\nthing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything.", "Missis was\nrather too hard.\"", "Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering\ntogether for half-an-hour before they fell asleep.", "I caught scraps of\ntheir conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer\nthe main subject discussed.", "\"Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished\"--\"A great\nblack dog behind him\"--\"Three loud raps on the chamber door\"--\"A light in\nthe churchyard just over his grave,\" etc., etc.", "At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out.", "For me, the\nwatches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness; strained by\ndread: such dread as children only can feel.", "No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red-\nroom; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to\nthis day.", "Yes, Mrs. Reed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental\nsuffering, but I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did:\nwhile rending my heart-strings, you thought you were only uprooting my\nbad propensities.", "Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped in a shawl by\nthe nursery hearth.", "I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse\nailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which\nkept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop\nfrom my cheek than another followed.", "Yet, I thought, I ought to have\nbeen happy, for none of the Reeds were there, they were all gone out in\nthe carriage with their mama.", "Abbot, too, was sewing in another room,\nand Bessie, as she moved hither and thither, putting away toys and\narranging drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted\nkindness.", "This state of things should have been to me a paradise of\npeace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless\nfagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no\ncalm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.", "Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought up with her a tart\non a certain brightly painted china plate, whose bird of paradise,\nnestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in\nme a most enthusiastic sense of admiration; and which plate I had often\npetitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more\nclosely, but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a\nprivilege.", "This precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I was\ncordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it.", "Vain\nfavour!", "coming, like most other favours long deferred and often wished\nfor, too late!", "I could not eat the tart; and the plumage of the bird,\nthe tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and\ntart away.", "Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word _book_ acted as\na transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch Gulliver's Travels from\nthe library.", "This book I had again and again perused with delight.", "I\nconsidered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a vein of\ninterest deeper than what I found in fairy tales: for as to the elves,\nhaving sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells, under\nmushrooms and beneath the ground-ivy mantling old wall-nooks, I had at\nlength made up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of\nEngland to some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker,\nand the population more scant; whereas, Lilliput and Brobdignag being, in\nmy creed, solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might\none day, by taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields,\nhouses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds\nof the one realm; and the corn-fields forest-high, the mighty mastiffs,\nthe monster cats, the tower-like men and women, of the other.", "Yet, when\nthis cherished volume was now placed in my hand--when I turned over its\nleaves, and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm I had, till now,\nnever failed to find--all was eerie and dreary; the giants were gaunt\ngoblins, the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps, Gulliver a most\ndesolate wanderer in most dread and dangerous regions.", "I closed the\nbook, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the\nuntasted tart.", "Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the room, and having washed\nher hands, she opened a certain little drawer, full of splendid shreds of\nsilk and satin, and began making a new bonnet for Georgiana's doll.", "Meantime she sang: her song was--\n\n \"In the days when we went gipsying,\n A long time ago.\"", "I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for\nBessie had a sweet voice,--at least, I thought so.", "But now, though her\nvoice was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescribable sadness.", "Sometimes, preoccupied with her work, she sang the refrain very low, very\nlingeringly; \"A long time ago\" came out like the saddest cadence of a\nfuneral hymn.", "She passed into another ballad, this time a really doleful\none.", "\"My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary;\n Long is the way, and the mountains are wild;\n Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary\n Over the path of the poor orphan child.", "Why did they send me so far and so lonely,\n Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled?", "Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only\n Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.", "Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing,\n Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild,\n God, in His mercy, protection is showing,\n Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.", "Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,\n Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,\n Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,\n Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.", "There is a thought that for strength should avail me,\n Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled;\n Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me;\n God is a friend to the poor orphan child.\"", "\"Come, Miss Jane, don't cry,\" said Bessie as she finished.", "She might as\nwell have said to the fire, \"don't burn!\"", "but how could she divine the\nmorbid suffering to which I was a prey?", "In the course of the morning Mr.\nLloyd came again.", "\"What, already up!\"", "said he, as he entered the nursery.", "\"Well, nurse,\nhow is she?\"", "Bessie answered that I was doing very well.", "\"Then she ought to look more cheerful.", "Come here, Miss Jane: your name\nis Jane, is it not?\"", "\"Yes, sir, Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre; can you tell me what about?", "Have you any pain?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Oh!", "I daresay she is crying because she could not go out with Missis in\nthe carriage,\" interposed Bessie.", "\"Surely not!", "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!", "Can't she manage to walk at her\nage?", "She must be eight or nine years old.\"", "\"I was knocked down,\" was the blunt explanation, jerked out of me by\nanother pang of mortified pride; \"but that did not make me ill,\" I added;\nwhile Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.", "As he was returning the box to his waistcoat pocket, a loud bell rang for\nthe servants' dinner; he knew what it was.", "\"That's for you, nurse,\" said\nhe; \"you can go down; I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till you come back.\"", "Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was obliged to go, because\npunctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at Gateshead Hall.", "\"The fall did not make you ill; what did, then?\"", "pursued Mr. Lloyd when\nBessie was gone.", "\"I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till after dark.\"", "I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time.", "\"Ghost!", "What, you are a baby after all!", "You are afraid of ghosts?\"", "\"Of Mr. Reed's ghost I am: he died in that room, and was laid out there.", "Neither Bessie nor any one else will go into it at night, if they can\nhelp it; and it was cruel to shut me up alone without a candle,--so cruel\nthat I think I shall never forget it.\"", "\"Nonsense!", "And is it that makes you so miserable?", "Are you afraid now in\ndaylight?\"", "\"No: but night will come again before long: and besides,--I am\nunhappy,--very unhappy, for other things.\"", "\"What other things?", "Can you tell me some of them?\"", "How much I wished to reply fully to this question!", "How difficult it was\nto frame any answer!", "Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their\nfeelings; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought, they know\nnot how to express the result of the process in words.", "Fearful, however,\nof losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by\nimparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre,\nthough, as far as it went, true response.", "\"For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters.\"", "\"You have a kind aunt and cousins.\"", "Again I paused; then bunglingly enounced--\n\n\"But John Reed knocked me down, and my aunt shut me up in the red-room.\"", "Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.", "\"Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful house?\"", "asked he.", "\"Are\nyou not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at?\"", "\"It is not my house, sir; and Abbot says I have less right to be here\nthan a servant.\"", "\"Pooh!", "you can't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place?\"", "\"If I had anywhere else to go, I should be glad to leave it; but I can\nnever get away from Gateshead till I am a woman.\"", "\"Perhaps you may--who knows?", "Have you any relations besides Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"I think not, sir.\"", "\"None belonging to your father?\"", "\"I don't know.", "I asked Aunt Reed once, and she said possibly I might\nhave some poor, low relations called Eyre, but she knew nothing about\nthem.\"", "\"If you had such, would you like to go to them?\"", "I reflected.", "Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to\nchildren: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable\npoverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes,\nscanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty\nfor me was synonymous with degradation.", "\"No; I should not like to belong to poor people,\" was my reply.", "\"Not even if they were kind to you?\"", "I shook my head: I could not see how poor people had the means of being\nkind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be\nuneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing\ntheir children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the\nvillage of Gateshead: no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at\nthe price of caste.", "\"But are your relatives so very poor?", "Are they working people?\"", "\"I cannot tell; Aunt Reed says if I have any, they must be a beggarly\nset: I should not like to go a begging.\"", "\"Would you like to go to school?\"", "Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes\nspoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore\nbackboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise: John\nReed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were\nno rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school-discipline (gathered\nfrom the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to\nGateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain\naccomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought,\nequally attractive.", "She boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and\nflowers by them executed; of songs they could sing and pieces they could\nplay, of purses they could net, of French books they could translate;\ntill my spirit was moved to emulation as I listened.", "Besides, school\nwould be a complete change: it implied a long journey, an entire\nseparation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new life.", "\"I should indeed like to go to school,\" was the audible conclusion of my\nmusings.", "\"Well, well!", "who knows what may happen?\"", "said Mr. Lloyd, as he got up.", "\"The child ought to have change of air and scene,\" he added, speaking to\nhimself; \"nerves not in a good state.\"", "Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up\nthe gravel-walk.", "\"Is that your mistress, nurse?\"", "asked Mr. Lloyd.", "\"I should like to speak\nto her before I go.\"", "Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-room, and led the way out.", "In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume,\nfrom after-occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my\nbeing sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough\nadopted; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie when\nboth sat sewing in the nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as\nthey thought, asleep, \"Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid\nof such a tiresome, ill-conditioned child, who always looked as if she\nwere watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand.\"", "Abbot, I think,\ngave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "\"No, thank you, Bessie.\"", "I closed the\nbook, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the\nuntasted tart.", "\"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre; can you tell me what about?", "\"I was knocked down,\" was the blunt explanation, jerked out of me by\nanother pang of mortified pride; \"but that did not make me ill,\" I added;\nwhile Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.", "\"I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till after dark.\"", "\"For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters.\"", "\"I think not, sir.\"", "\"I cannot tell; Aunt Reed says if I have any, they must be a beggarly\nset: I should not like to go a begging.\"", "Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes\nspoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore\nbackboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise: John\nReed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were\nno rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school-discipline (gathered\nfrom the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to\nGateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain\naccomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought,\nequally attractive.", "Besides, school\nwould be a complete change: it implied a long journey, an entire\nseparation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new life." ]

[ "\"The fall did not make you ill; what did, then?\"", "What, you are a baby after all!", "Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only\n Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.", "\"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you\nmay call me if you want anything in the night.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Are\nyou not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at?\"", "\"Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful house?\"", "I caught scraps of\ntheir conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer\nthe main subject discussed.", "No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red-\nroom; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to\nthis day.", "This state of things should have been to me a paradise of\npeace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless\nfagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no\ncalm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably." ]

[ "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!" ]

[ "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "was my scarcely\nvoluntary demand.", "I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my\ntongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance:\nsomething spoke out of me over which I had no control.", "\"What?\"", "said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey\neye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm,\nand gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or\nfiend.", "I was now in for it.", "\"My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can\npapa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you\nwish me dead.\"", "Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed\nboth my ears, and then left me without a word.", "Bessie supplied the\nhiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a\ndoubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a\nroof.", "I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging\nin my breast.", "November, December, and half of January passed away.", "Christmas and the\nNew Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer;\npresents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given.", "From\nevery enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety\nconsisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and\nseeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin\nfrocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted; and\nafterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played\nbelow, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the\njingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken\nhum of conversation as the drawing-room door opened and closed.", "When\ntired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the\nsolitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not\nmiserable.", "To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company,\nfor in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind\nand companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings\nquietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of\nMrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen.", "But Bessie, as soon\nas she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the\nlively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing\nthe candle along with her.", "I then sat with my doll on my knee till the\nfire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse\nthan myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull\nred, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might,\nand sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib.", "To this crib I\nalways took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth\nof worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in\nloving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature\nscarecrow.", "It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I\ndoated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of\nsensation.", "I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and\nwhen it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it\nto be happy likewise.", "Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and\nlistened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she\nwould come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or\nperhaps to bring me something by way of supper--a bun or a\ncheese-cake--then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had\nfinished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me,\nand said, \"Good night, Miss Jane.\"", "When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me\nthe best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most\nintensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never\npush me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often\nwont to do.", "Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural\ncapacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of\nnarrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her\nnursery tales.", "She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and\nperson are correct.", "I remember her as a slim young woman, with black\nhair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she\nhad a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or\njustice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at\nGateshead Hall.", "It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning:\nBessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned\nto their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go\nand feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less\nso of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she\nthus obtained.", "She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for\nsaving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in\ndriving hard bargains with the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and\nslips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of\nhis young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and\nEliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a\nhandsome profit thereby.", "As to her money, she first secreted it in odd\ncorners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards\nhaving been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing\nher valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious\nrate of interest--fifty or sixty per cent.", "; which interest she exacted\nevery quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious\naccuracy.", "Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and\ninterweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of\nwhich she had found a store in a drawer in the attic.", "I was making my\nbed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before\nshe returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-\nnurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c.).", "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage-road,\nand just as I had dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage veiling\nthe panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a\ncarriage roll through.", "I watched it ascending the drive with\nindifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought\nvisitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the\ndoor-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was admitted.", "All this being\nnothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the\nspectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs\nof the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the casement.", "The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and\nhaving crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out\nthe crumbs on the window-sill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the\nnursery.", "\"Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there?", "Have you\nwashed your hands and face this morning?\"", "I gave another tug before I\nanswered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash\nyielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the\ncherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied--\n\n\"No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.\"", "\"Troublesome, careless child!", "and what are you doing now?", "You look quite\nred, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the\nwindow for?\"", "I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a\nhurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand,\ninflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with\nsoap, water, and a coarse towel; disciplined my head with a bristly\nbrush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the\nstairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast-room.", "I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was\nthere; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon\nme.", "I slowly descended.", "For nearly three months, I had never been\ncalled to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the\nbreakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were become for me awful regions, on\nwhich it dismayed me to intrude.", "I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-room door, and\nI stopped, intimidated and trembling.", "What a miserable little poltroon\nhad fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days!", "I\nfeared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour;\nten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the\nbreakfast-room bell decided me; I _must_ enter.", "\"Who could want me?\"", "I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the\nstiff door-handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts.", "\"What\nshould I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?--a man or a woman?\"", "The\nhandle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low,\nI looked up at--a black pillar!--such, at least, appeared to me, at first\nsight, the straight, narrow, sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug:\nthe grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft\nby way of capital.", "Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to\nme to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger\nwith the words: \"This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to\nyou.\"", "_He_, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and\nhaving examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which\ntwinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice,\n\"Her size is small: what is her age?\"", "\"Ten years.\"", "\"So much?\"", "was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for\nsome minutes.", "Presently he addressed me--\"Your name, little girl?\"", "\"Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman;\nbut then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the\nlines of his frame were equally harsh and prim.", "\"Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?\"", "Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a\ncontrary opinion: I was silent.", "Mrs. Reed answered for me by an\nexpressive shake of the head, adding soon, \"Perhaps the less said on that\nsubject the better, Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "\"Sorry indeed to hear it!", "she and I must have some talk;\" and bending\nfrom the perpendicular, he installed his person in the arm-chair opposite\nMrs. Reed's.", "\"Come here,\" he said.", "I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him.", "What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine!", "what a\ngreat nose!", "and what a mouth!", "and what large prominent teeth!", "\"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,\" he began, \"especially a\nnaughty little girl.", "Do you know where the wicked go after death?\"", "\"They go to hell,\" was my ready and orthodox answer.", "\"And what is hell?", "Can you tell me that?\"", "\"A pit full of fire.\"", "\"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for\never?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"What must you do to avoid it?\"", "I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable:\n\"I must keep in good health, and not die.\"", "\"How can you keep in good health?", "Children younger than you die daily.", "I\nburied a little child of five years old only a day or two since,--a good\nlittle child, whose soul is now in heaven.", "It is to be feared the same\ncould not be said of you were you to be called hence.\"", "Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on\nthe two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far\nenough away.", "\"I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having\nbeen the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress.\"", "\"Benefactress!", "benefactress!\"", "said I inwardly: \"they all call Mrs. Reed\nmy benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.\"", "\"Do you say your prayers night and morning?\"", "continued my interrogator.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Do you read your Bible?\"", "\"Sometimes.\"", "\"With pleasure?", "Are you fond of it?\"", "\"I like Revelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis and Samuel, and\na little bit of Exodus, and some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job\nand Jonah.\"", "\"And the Psalms?", "I hope you like them?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"No?", "oh, shocking!", "I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six\nPsalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a\ngingerbread-nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: 'Oh!", "the\nverse of a Psalm!", "angels sing Psalms;' says he, 'I wish to be a little\nangel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant\npiety.\"", "\"Psalms are not interesting,\" I remarked.", "\"That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change\nit: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and\ngive you a heart of flesh.\"", "I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that\noperation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed\ninterposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the\nconversation herself.", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to\nyou three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character\nand disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I\nshould be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep\na strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a\ntendency to deceit.", "I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may\nnot attempt to impose on Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature\nto wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully\nI obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were\nstill repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above.", "Now, uttered\nbefore a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived\nthat she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence\nwhich she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed\nthe feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future\npath; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an\nartful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury?", "\"Nothing, indeed,\" thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and\nhastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish.", "\"Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst; \"it\nis akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake\nburning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs.\nReed.", "I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.\"", "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"", "\"Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants,\nand I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege\nof her election.\"", "\"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I\nassure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was\nbecoming too irksome.\"", "\"No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning.", "I shall\nreturn to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good\nfriend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner.", "I shall\nsend Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there\nwill be no difficulty about receiving her.", "Good-bye.\"", "\"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst,\nand to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.\"", "\"I will, madam.", "Little girl, here is a book entitled the 'Child's\nGuide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing 'An account\nof the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to\nfalsehood and deceit.'\"", "With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn\nin a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.", "Mrs. Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was\nsewing, I was watching her.", "Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or\nseven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and\nstrong-limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese: she had a somewhat\nlarge face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow\nwas low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently\nregular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her\nskin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen; her constitution was\nsound as a bell--illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever\nmanager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control;\nher children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn;\nshe dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off\nhandsome attire.", "Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I examined her\nfigure; I perused her features.", "In my hand I held the tract containing\nthe sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been\npointed as to an appropriate warning.", "What had just passed; what Mrs.\nReed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their\nconversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every\nword as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment\nfomented now within me.", "Mrs. Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers\nat the same time suspended their nimble movements.", "\"Go out of the room; return to the nursery,\" was her mandate.", "My look or\nsomething else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with\nextreme though suppressed irritation.", "I got up, I went to the door; I\ncame back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up\nto her.", "_Speak_ I must: I had been trodden on severely, and _must_ turn: but how?", "What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist?", "I gathered my\nenergies and launched them in this blunt sentence--\n\n\"I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I\ndo not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except\nJohn Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl,\nGeorgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.\"", "Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice\ncontinued to dwell freezingly on mine.", "\"What more have you to say?\"", "she asked, rather in the tone in which a\nperson might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily\nused to a child.", "That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had.", "Shaking from\nhead to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued--\n\n\"I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again\nas long as I live.", "I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and\nif any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say\nthe very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with\nmiserable cruelty.\"", "\"How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?\"", "\"How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the _truth_.", "You\nthink I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or\nkindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity.", "I shall remember\nhow you thrust me back--roughly and violently thrust me back--into the\nred-room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony;\nthough I cried out, while suffocating with distress, 'Have mercy!", "Have\nmercy, Aunt Reed!'", "And that punishment you made me suffer because your\nwicked boy struck me--knocked me down for nothing.", "I will tell anybody\nwho asks me questions, this exact tale.", "People think you a good woman,\nbut you are bad, hard-hearted.", "_You_ are deceitful!\"", "{How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the truth: p30.jpg}\n\nEre I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with\nthe strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt.", "It seemed as if\nan invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-\nfor liberty.", "Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked\nfrightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her\nhands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she\nwould cry.", "\"Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you?", "Why do you\ntremble so violently?", "Would you like to drink some water?\"", "\"No, Mrs.", "Reed.\"", "\"Is there anything else you wish for, Jane?", "I assure you, I desire to be\nyour friend.\"", "\"Not you.", "You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful\ndisposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what\nyou have done.\"", "\"Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for\ntheir faults.\"", "\"Deceit is not my fault!\"", "I cried out in a savage, high voice.", "\"But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the\nnursery--there's a dear--and lie down a little.\"", "\"I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs.\nReed, for I hate to live here.\"", "\"I will indeed send her to school soon,\" murmured Mrs. Reed _sotto voce_;\nand gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.", "I was left there alone--winner of the field.", "It was the hardest battle I\nhad fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the\nrug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's\nsolitude.", "First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce\npleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my\npulses.", "A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot\ngive its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without\nexperiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction.", "A\nridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a\nmeet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same\nridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have\nrepresented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's\nsilence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the\ndreariness of my hated and hating position.", "Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine\nit seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and\ncorroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.", "Willingly\nwould I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly\nfrom experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her\nrepulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse\nof my nature.", "I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking;\nfain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre\nindignation.", "I took a book--some Arabian tales; I sat down and\nendeavoured to read.", "I could make no sense of the subject; my own\nthoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found\nfascinating.", "I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room: the\nshrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or\nbreeze, through the grounds.", "I covered my head and arms with the skirt\nof my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was\nquite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the\nfalling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept\nby past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together.", "I leaned against a\ngate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where\nthe short grass was nipped and blanched.", "It was a very grey day; a most\nopaque sky, \"onding on snaw,\" canopied all; thence flakes felt it\nintervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without\nmelting.", "I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and\nover again, \"What shall I do?--what shall I do?\"", "All at once I heard a clear voice call, \"Miss Jane!", "where are you?", "Come\nto lunch!\"", "It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step\ncame tripping down the path.", "\"You naughty little thing!\"", "she said.", "\"Why don't you come when you are\ncalled?\"", "Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been\nbrooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross.", "The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not\ndisposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I _was_\ndisposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart.", "I just put my two\narms round her and said, \"Come, Bessie!", "don't scold.\"", "The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to\nindulge in: somehow it pleased her.", "\"You are a strange child, Miss Jane,\" she said, as she looked down at me;\n\"a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I\nsuppose?\"", "I nodded.", "\"And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?\"", "\"What does Bessie care for me?", "She is always scolding me.\"", "\"Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing.", "You should\nbe bolder.\"", "\"What!", "to get more knocks?\"", "\"Nonsense!", "But you are rather put upon, that's certain.", "My mother said,\nwhen she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one\nof her own to be in your place.--Now, come in, and I've some good news\nfor you.\"", "\"I don't think you have, Bessie.\"", "\"Child!", "what do you mean?", "What sorrowful eyes you fix on me!", "Well, but\nMissis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this\nafternoon, and you shall have tea with me.", "I'll ask cook to bake you a\nlittle cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I\nam soon to pack your trunk.", "Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a\nday or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you.\"", "\"Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go.\"", "\"Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of\nme.", "Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so\nprovoking.\"", "\"I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I\nhave got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to\ndread.\"", "\"If you dread them they'll dislike you.\"", "\"As you do, Bessie?\"", "\"I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the\nothers.\"", "\"You don't show it.\"", "\"You little sharp thing!", "you've got quite a new way of talking.", "What\nmakes you so venturesome and hardy?\"", "\"Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides\"--I was going to say\nsomething about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second\nthoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head.", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "and what are you doing now?", "\"What\nshould I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?--a man or a woman?\"", "\"So much?\"", "Brocklehurst.\"", "\"Do you say your prayers night and morning?\"", "I shall\nsend Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there\nwill be no difficulty about receiving her.", "Have\nmercy, Aunt Reed!'", "Reed.\"", "You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful\ndisposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what\nyou have done.\"", "A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot\ngive its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without\nexperiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction." ]

[ "I then sat with my doll on my knee till the\nfire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse\nthan myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull\nred, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might,\nand sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib.", "In my hand I held the tract containing\nthe sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been\npointed as to an appropriate warning.", "\"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst,\nand to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.\"", "\"Ten years.\"", "I shall\nsend Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there\nwill be no difficulty about receiving her.", "\"What\nshould I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?--a man or a woman?\"", "\"But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the\nnursery--there's a dear--and lie down a little.\"", "Come\nto lunch!\"", "When\ntired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the\nsolitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not\nmiserable.", "\"As you do, Bessie?\"" ]

[ "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"" ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "Your Missis has not been my friend: she has\nbeen my foe.\"", "\"O Miss Jane!", "don't say so!\"", "\"Good-bye to Gateshead!\"", "cried I, as we passed through the hall and went\nout at the front door.", "The moon was set, and it was very dark; Bessie carried a lantern, whose\nlight glanced on wet steps and gravel road sodden by a recent thaw.", "Raw\nand chill was the winter morning: my teeth chattered as I hastened down\nthe drive.", "There was a light in the porter's lodge: when we reached it,\nwe found the porter's wife just kindling her fire: my trunk, which had\nbeen carried down the evening before, stood corded at the door.", "It\nwanted but a few minutes of six, and shortly after that hour had struck,\nthe distant roll of wheels announced the coming coach; I went to the door\nand watched its lamps approach rapidly through the gloom.", "\"Is she going by herself?\"", "asked the porter's wife.", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And how far is it?\"", "\"Fifty miles.\"", "\"What a long way!", "I wonder Mrs. Reed is not afraid to trust her so far\nalone.\"", "The coach drew up; there it was at the gates with its four horses and its\ntop laden with passengers: the guard and coachman loudly urged haste; my\ntrunk was hoisted up; I was taken from Bessie's neck, to which I clung\nwith kisses.", "\"Be sure and take good care of her,\" cried she to the guard, as he lifted\nme into the inside.", "\"Ay, ay!\"", "was the answer: the door was slapped to, a voice exclaimed \"All\nright,\" and on we drove.", "Thus was I severed from Bessie and Gateshead;\nthus whirled away to unknown, and, as I then deemed, remote and\nmysterious regions.", "I remember but little of the journey; I only know that the day seemed to\nme of a preternatural length, and that we appeared to travel over\nhundreds of miles of road.", "We passed through several towns, and in one,\na very large one, the coach stopped; the horses were taken out, and the\npassengers alighted to dine.", "I was carried into an inn, where the guard\nwanted me to have some dinner; but, as I had no appetite, he left me in\nan immense room with a fireplace at each end, a chandelier pendent from\nthe ceiling, and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled\nwith musical instruments.", "Here I walked about for a long time, feeling\nvery strange, and mortally apprehensive of some one coming in and\nkidnapping me; for I believed in kidnappers, their exploits having\nfrequently figured in Bessie's fireside chronicles.", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty: as it waned into dusk, I\nbegan to feel that we were getting very far indeed from Gateshead: we\nceased to pass through towns; the country changed; great grey hills\nheaved up round the horizon: as twilight deepened, we descended a valley,\ndark with wood, and long after night had overclouded the prospect, I\nheard a wild wind rushing amongst trees.", "Lulled by the sound, I at last dropped asleep; I had not long slumbered\nwhen the sudden cessation of motion awoke me; the coach-door was open,\nand a person like a servant was standing at it: I saw her face and dress\nby the light of the lamps.", "\"Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here?\"", "she asked.", "I answered\n\"Yes,\" and was then lifted out; my trunk was handed down, and the coach\ninstantly drove away.", "I was stiff with long sitting, and bewildered with the noise and motion\nof the coach: Gathering my faculties, I looked about me.", "Rain, wind, and\ndarkness filled the air; nevertheless, I dimly discerned a wall before me\nand a door open in it; through this door I passed with my new guide: she\nshut and locked it behind her.", "There was now visible a house or\nhouses--for the building spread far--with many windows, and lights\nburning in some; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were\nadmitted at a door; then the servant led me through a passage into a room\nwith a fire, where she left me alone.", "I stood and warmed my numbed fingers over the blaze, then I looked round;\nthere was no candle, but the uncertain light from the hearth showed, by\nintervals, papered walls, carpet, curtains, shining mahogany furniture:\nit was a parlour, not so spacious or splendid as the drawing-room at\nGateshead, but comfortable enough.", "I was puzzling to make out the\nsubject of a picture on the wall, when the door opened, and an individual\ncarrying a light entered; another followed close behind.", "The first was a tall lady with dark hair, dark eyes, and a pale and large\nforehead; her figure was partly enveloped in a shawl, her countenance was\ngrave, her bearing erect.", "\"The child is very young to be sent alone,\" said she, putting her candle\ndown on the table.", "She considered me attentively for a minute or two,\nthen further added--\n\n\"She had better be put to bed soon; she looks tired: are you tired?\"", "she\nasked, placing her hand on my shoulder.", "\"A little, ma'am.\"", "\"And hungry too, no doubt: let her have some supper before she goes to\nbed, Miss Miller.", "Is this the first time you have left your parents to\ncome to school, my little girl?\"", "I explained to her that I had no parents.", "She inquired how long they had\nbeen dead: then how old I was, what was my name, whether I could read,\nwrite, and sew a little: then she touched my cheek gently with her\nforefinger, and saying, \"She hoped I should be a good child,\" dismissed\nme along with Miss Miller.", "The lady I had left might be about twenty-nine; the one who went with me\nappeared some years younger: the first impressed me by her voice, look,\nand air.", "Miss Miller was more ordinary; ruddy in complexion, though of a\ncareworn countenance; hurried in gait and action, like one who had always\na multiplicity of tasks on hand: she looked, indeed, what I afterwards\nfound she really was, an under-teacher.", "Led by her, I passed from\ncompartment to compartment, from passage to passage, of a large and\nirregular building; till, emerging from the total and somewhat dreary\nsilence pervading that portion of the house we had traversed, we came\nupon the hum of many voices, and presently entered a wide, long room,\nwith great deal tables, two at each end, on each of which burnt a pair of\ncandles, and seated all round on benches, a congregation of girls of\nevery age, from nine or ten to twenty.", "Seen by the dim light of the\ndips, their number to me appeared countless, though not in reality\nexceeding eighty; they were uniformly dressed in brown stuff frocks of\nquaint fashion, and long holland pinafores.", "It was the hour of study;\nthey were engaged in conning over their to-morrow's task, and the hum I\nhad heard was the combined result of their whispered repetitions.", "Miss Miller signed to me to sit on a bench near the door, then walking up\nto the top of the long room she cried out--\n\n\"Monitors, collect the lesson-books and put them away!\"", "Four tall girls arose from different tables, and going round, gathered\nthe books and removed them.", "Miss Miller again gave the word of command--\n\n\"Monitors, fetch the supper-trays!\"", "The tall girls went out and returned presently, each bearing a tray, with\nportions of something, I knew not what, arranged thereon, and a pitcher\nof water and mug in the middle of each tray.", "The portions were handed\nround; those who liked took a draught of the water, the mug being common\nto all.", "When it came to my turn, I drank, for I was thirsty, but did not\ntouch the food, excitement and fatigue rendering me incapable of eating:\nI now saw, however, that it was a thin oaten cake shared into fragments.", "The meal over, prayers were read by Miss Miller, and the classes filed\noff, two and two, upstairs.", "Overpowered by this time with weariness, I\nscarcely noticed what sort of a place the bedroom was, except that, like\nthe schoolroom, I saw it was very long.", "To-night I was to be Miss\nMiller's bed-fellow; she helped me to undress: when laid down I glanced\nat the long rows of beds, each of which was quickly filled with two\noccupants; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished, and amidst\nsilence and complete darkness I fell asleep.", "The night passed rapidly.", "I was too tired even to dream; I only once\nawoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts, and the rain fall in\ntorrents, and to be sensible that Miss Miller had taken her place by my\nside.", "When I again unclosed my eyes, a loud bell was ringing; the girls\nwere up and dressing; day had not yet begun to dawn, and a rushlight or\ntwo burned in the room.", "I too rose reluctantly; it was bitter cold, and\nI dressed as well as I could for shivering, and washed when there was a\nbasin at liberty, which did not occur soon, as there was but one basin to\nsix girls, on the stands down the middle of the room.", "Again the bell\nrang: all formed in file, two and two, and in that order descended the\nstairs and entered the cold and dimly lit schoolroom: here prayers were\nread by Miss Miller; afterwards she called out--\n\n\"Form classes!\"", "A great tumult succeeded for some minutes, during which Miss Miller\nrepeatedly exclaimed, \"Silence!\"", "and \"Order!\"", "When it subsided, I saw\nthem all drawn up in four semicircles, before four chairs, placed at the\nfour tables; all held books in their hands, and a great book, like a\nBible, lay on each table, before the vacant seat.", "A pause of some\nseconds succeeded, filled up by the low, vague hum of numbers; Miss\nMiller walked from class to class, hushing this indefinite sound.", "A distant bell tinkled: immediately three ladies entered the room, each\nwalked to a table and took her seat.", "Miss Miller assumed the fourth\nvacant chair, which was that nearest the door, and around which the\nsmallest of the children were assembled: to this inferior class I was\ncalled, and placed at the bottom of it.", "Business now began, the day's Collect was repeated, then certain texts of\nScripture were said, and to these succeeded a protracted reading of\nchapters in the Bible, which lasted an hour.", "By the time that exercise\nwas terminated, day had fully dawned.", "The indefatigable bell now sounded\nfor the fourth time: the classes were marshalled and marched into another\nroom to breakfast: how glad I was to behold a prospect of getting\nsomething to eat!", "I was now nearly sick from inanition, having taken so\nlittle the day before.", "The refectory was a great, low-ceiled, gloomy room; on two long tables\nsmoked basins of something hot, which, however, to my dismay, sent forth\nan odour far from inviting.", "I saw a universal manifestation of\ndiscontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of those\ndestined to swallow it; from the van of the procession, the tall girls of\nthe first class, rose the whispered words--\n\n\"Disgusting!", "The porridge is burnt again!\"", "\"Silence!\"", "ejaculated a voice; not that of Miss Miller, but one of the\nupper teachers, a little and dark personage, smartly dressed, but of\nsomewhat morose aspect, who installed herself at the top of one table,\nwhile a more buxom lady presided at the other.", "I looked in vain for her\nI had first seen the night before; she was not visible: Miss Miller\noccupied the foot of the table where I sat, and a strange,\nforeign-looking, elderly lady, the French teacher, as I afterwards found,\ntook the corresponding seat at the other board.", "A long grace was said\nand a hymn sung; then a servant brought in some tea for the teachers, and\nthe meal began.", "Ravenous, and now very faint, I devoured a spoonful or two of my portion\nwithout thinking of its taste; but the first edge of hunger blunted, I\nperceived I had got in hand a nauseous mess; burnt porridge is almost as\nbad as rotten potatoes; famine itself soon sickens over it.", "The spoons\nwere moved slowly: I saw each girl taste her food and try to swallow it;\nbut in most cases the effort was soon relinquished.", "Breakfast was over,\nand none had breakfasted.", "Thanks being returned for what we had not got,\nand a second hymn chanted, the refectory was evacuated for the\nschoolroom.", "I was one of the last to go out, and in passing the tables,\nI saw one teacher take a basin of the porridge and taste it; she looked\nat the others; all their countenances expressed displeasure, and one of\nthem, the stout one, whispered--\n\n\"Abominable stuff!", "How shameful!\"", "A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began, during which the\nschoolroom was in a glorious tumult; for that space of time it seemed to\nbe permitted to talk loud and more freely, and they used their privilege.", "The whole conversation ran on the breakfast, which one and all abused\nroundly.", "Poor things!", "it was the sole consolation they had.", "Miss Miller\nwas now the only teacher in the room: a group of great girls standing\nabout her spoke with serious and sullen gestures.", "I heard the name of\nMr. Brocklehurst pronounced by some lips; at which Miss Miller shook her\nhead disapprovingly; but she made no great effort to check the general\nwrath; doubtless she shared in it.", "A clock in the schoolroom struck nine; Miss Miller left her circle, and\nstanding in the middle of the room, cried--\n\n\"Silence!", "To your seats!\"", "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"", "While the direction was being executed, the lady consulted moved slowly\nup the room.", "I suppose I have a considerable organ of veneration, for I\nretain yet the sense of admiring awe with which my eyes traced her steps.", "Seen now, in broad daylight, she looked tall, fair, and shapely; brown\neyes with a benignant light in their irids, and a fine pencilling of long\nlashes round, relieved the whiteness of her large front; on each of her\ntemples her hair, of a very dark brown, was clustered in round curls,\naccording to the fashion of those times, when neither smooth bands nor\nlong ringlets were in vogue; her dress, also in the mode of the day, was\nof purple cloth, relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of black velvet;\na gold watch (watches were not so common then as now) shone at her\ngirdle.", "Let the reader add, to complete the picture, refined features; a\ncomplexion, if pale, clear; and a stately air and carriage, and he will\nhave, at least, as clearly as words can give it, a correct idea of the\nexterior of Miss Temple--Maria Temple, as I afterwards saw the name\nwritten in a prayer-book intrusted to me to carry to church.", "The superintendent of Lowood (for such was this lady) having taken her\nseat before a pair of globes placed on one of the tables, summoned the\nfirst class round her, and commenced giving a lesson on geography; the\nlower classes were called by the teachers: repetitions in history,\ngrammar, &c., went on for an hour; writing and arithmetic succeeded, and\nmusic lessons were given by Miss Temple to some of the elder girls.", "The\nduration of each lesson was measured by the clock, which at last struck\ntwelve.", "The superintendent rose--\n\n\"I have a word to address to the pupils,\" said she.", "The tumult of cessation from lessons was already breaking forth, but it\nsank at her voice.", "She went on--\n\n\"You had this morning a breakfast which you could not eat; you must be\nhungry:--I have ordered that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served\nto all.\"", "The teachers looked at her with a sort of surprise.", "\"It is to be done on my responsibility,\" she added, in an explanatory\ntone to them, and immediately afterwards left the room.", "The bread and cheese was presently brought in and distributed, to the\nhigh delight and refreshment of the whole school.", "The order was now\ngiven \"To the garden!\"", "Each put on a coarse straw bonnet, with strings\nof coloured calico, and a cloak of grey frieze.", "I was similarly\nequipped, and, following the stream, I made my way into the open air.", "The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls so high as to\nexclude every glimpse of prospect; a covered verandah ran down one side,\nand broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little\nbeds: these beds were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate,\nand each bed had an owner.", "When full of flowers they would doubtless\nlook pretty; but now, at the latter end of January, all was wintry blight\nand brown decay.", "I shuddered as I stood and looked round me: it was an\ninclement day for outdoor exercise; not positively rainy, but darkened by\na drizzling yellow fog; all under foot was still soaking wet with the\nfloods of yesterday.", "The stronger among the girls ran about and engaged\nin active games, but sundry pale and thin ones herded together for\nshelter and warmth in the verandah; and amongst these, as the dense mist\npenetrated to their shivering frames, I heard frequently the sound of a\nhollow cough.", "As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me;\nI stood lonely enough: but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed;\nit did not oppress me much.", "I leant against a pillar of the verandah,\ndrew my grey mantle close about me, and, trying to forget the cold which\nnipped me without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed me within,\ndelivered myself up to the employment of watching and thinking.", "My\nreflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record: I hardly\nyet knew where I was; Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to\nan immeasurable distance; the present was vague and strange, and of the\nfuture I could form no conjecture.", "I looked round the convent-like\ngarden, and then up at the house--a large building, half of which seemed\ngrey and old, the other half quite new.", "The new part, containing the\nschoolroom and dormitory, was lit by mullioned and latticed windows,\nwhich gave it a church-like aspect; a stone tablet over the door bore\nthis inscription:--\n\n\"Lowood Institution.--This portion was rebuilt A.D. ---, by Naomi\nBrocklehurst, of Brocklehurst Hall, in this county.\"", "\"Let your light so\nshine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your\nFather which is in heaven.\"--St.", "Matt.", "v. 16.", "I read these words over and over again: I felt that an explanation\nbelonged to them, and was unable fully to penetrate their import.", "I was\nstill pondering the signification of \"Institution,\" and endeavouring to\nmake out a connection between the first words and the verse of Scripture,\nwhen the sound of a cough close behind me made me turn my head.", "I saw a\ngirl sitting on a stone bench near; she was bent over a book, on the\nperusal of which she seemed intent: from where I stood I could see the\ntitle--it was \"Rasselas;\" a name that struck me as strange, and\nconsequently attractive.", "In turning a leaf she happened to look up, and\nI said to her directly--\n\n\"Is your book interesting?\"", "I had already formed the intention of asking\nher to lend it to me some day.", "\"I like it,\" she answered, after a pause of a second or two, during which\nshe examined me.", "\"What is it about?\"", "I continued.", "I hardly know where I found the\nhardihood thus to open a conversation with a stranger; the step was\ncontrary to my nature and habits: but I think her occupation touched a\nchord of sympathy somewhere; for I too liked reading, though of a\nfrivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious\nor substantial.", "\"You may look at it,\" replied the girl, offering me the book.", "I did so; a brief examination convinced me that the contents were less\ntaking than the title: \"Rasselas\" looked dull to my trifling taste; I saw\nnothing about fairies, nothing about genii; no bright variety seemed\nspread over the closely-printed pages.", "I returned it to her; she\nreceived it quietly, and without saying anything she was about to relapse\ninto her former studious mood: again I ventured to disturb her--\n\n\"Can you tell me what the writing on that stone over the door means?", "What\nis Lowood Institution?\"", "\"This house where you are come to live.\"", "\"And why do they call it Institution?", "Is it in any way different from\nother schools?\"", "\"It is partly a charity-school: you and I, and all the rest of us, are\ncharity-children.", "I suppose you are an orphan: are not either your\nfather or your mother dead?\"", "\"Both died before I can remember.\"", "\"Well, all the girls here have lost either one or both parents, and this\nis called an institution for educating orphans.\"", "\"Do we pay no money?", "Do they keep us for nothing?\"", "\"We pay, or our friends pay, fifteen pounds a year for each.\"", "\"Then why do they call us charity-children?\"", "\"Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching, and the\ndeficiency is supplied by subscription.\"", "\"Who subscribes?\"", "\"Different benevolent-minded ladies and gentlemen in this neighbourhood\nand in London.\"", "\"Who was Naomi Brocklehurst?\"", "\"The lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records,\nand whose son overlooks and directs everything here.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because he is treasurer and manager of the establishment.\"", "\"Then this house does not belong to that tall lady who wears a watch, and\nwho said we were to have some bread and cheese?\"", "\"To Miss Temple?", "Oh, no!", "I wish it did: she has to answer to Mr.\nBrocklehurst for all she does.", "Mr. Brocklehurst buys all our food and\nall our clothes.\"", "\"Does he live here?\"", "\"No--two miles off, at a large hall.\"", "\"Is he a good man?\"", "\"He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of good.\"", "\"Did you say that tall lady was called Miss Temple?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what are the other teachers called?\"", "\"The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith; she attends to the work,\nand cuts out--for we make our own clothes, our frocks, and pelisses, and\neverything; the little one with black hair is Miss Scatcherd; she teaches\nhistory and grammar, and hears the second class repetitions; and the one\nwho wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief tied to her side with a\nyellow ribband, is Madame Pierrot: she comes from Lisle, in France, and\nteaches French.\"", "\"Do you like the teachers?\"", "\"Well enough.\"", "\"Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ---?--I cannot\npronounce her name as you do.\"", "\"Miss Scatcherd is hasty--you must take care not to offend her; Madame\nPierrot is not a bad sort of person.\"", "\"But Miss Temple is the best--isn't she?\"", "\"Miss Temple is very good and very clever; she is above the rest, because\nshe knows far more than they do.\"", "\"Have you been long here?\"", "\"Two years.\"", "\"Are you an orphan?\"", "\"My mother is dead.\"", "\"Are you happy here?\"", "\"You ask rather too many questions.", "I have given you answers enough for\nthe present: now I want to read.\"", "But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner; all re-entered the\nhouse.", "The odour which now filled the refectory was scarcely more\nappetising than that which had regaled our nostrils at breakfast: the\ndinner was served in two huge tin-plated vessels, whence rose a strong\nsteam redolent of rancid fat.", "I found the mess to consist of indifferent\npotatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat, mixed and cooked together.", "Of\nthis preparation a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned to each\npupil.", "I ate what I could, and wondered within myself whether every\nday's fare would be like this.", "After dinner, we immediately adjourned to the schoolroom: lessons\nrecommenced, and were continued till five o'clock.", "The only marked event of the afternoon was, that I saw the girl with whom\nI had conversed in the verandah dismissed in disgrace by Miss Scatcherd\nfrom a history class, and sent to stand in the middle of the large\nschoolroom.", "The punishment seemed to me in a high degree ignominious,\nespecially for so great a girl--she looked thirteen or upwards.", "I\nexpected she would show signs of great distress and shame; but to my\nsurprise she neither wept nor blushed: composed, though grave, she stood,\nthe central mark of all eyes.", "\"How can she bear it so quietly--so\nfirmly?\"", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "Your Missis has not been my friend: she has\nbeen my foe.\"", "\"O Miss Jane!", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "I saw a universal manifestation of\ndiscontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of those\ndestined to swallow it; from the van of the procession, the tall girls of\nthe first class, rose the whispered words--\n\n\"Disgusting!", "I heard the name of\nMr. Brocklehurst pronounced by some lips; at which Miss Miller shook her\nhead disapprovingly; but she made no great effort to check the general\nwrath; doubtless she shared in it.", "The order was now\ngiven \"To the garden!\"", "I was similarly\nequipped, and, following the stream, I made my way into the open air.", "I returned it to her; she\nreceived it quietly, and without saying anything she was about to relapse\ninto her former studious mood: again I ventured to disturb her--\n\n\"Can you tell me what the writing on that stone over the door means?", "\"He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of good.\"" ]

[ "There was now visible a house or\nhouses--for the building spread far--with many windows, and lights\nburning in some; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were\nadmitted at a door; then the servant led me through a passage into a room\nwith a fire, where she left me alone.", "\"You may look at it,\" replied the girl, offering me the book.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "\"Did you say that tall lady was called Miss Temple?\"", "Is it in any way different from\nother schools?\"", "The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls so high as to\nexclude every glimpse of prospect; a covered verandah ran down one side,\nand broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little\nbeds: these beds were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate,\nand each bed had an owner.", "But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner; all re-entered the\nhouse.", "I continued.", "A long grace was said\nand a hymn sung; then a servant brought in some tea for the teachers, and\nthe meal began.", "The porridge is burnt again!\"" ]

[ "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"" ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Even in that obscure position,\nMiss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant notice: she\nwas continually addressing to her such phrases as the following:--\n\n\"Burns\" (such it seems was her name: the girls here were all called by\ntheir surnames, as boys are elsewhere), \"Burns, you are standing on the\nside of your shoe; turn your toes out immediately.\"", "\"Burns, you poke\nyour chin most unpleasantly; draw it in.\"", "\"Burns, I insist on your\nholding your head up; I will not have you before me in that attitude,\"\n&c. &c.\n\nA chapter having been read through twice, the books were closed and the\ngirls examined.", "The lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles\nI., and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-\nmoney, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little\ndifficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns: her memory seemed\nto have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready\nwith answers on every point.", "I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would\npraise her attention; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out--\n\n\"You dirty, disagreeable girl!", "you have never cleaned your nails this\nmorning!\"", "Burns made no answer: I wondered at her silence.", "\"Why,\" thought I, \"does\nshe not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face,\nas the water was frozen?\"", "My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring me to hold a skein\nof thread: while she was winding it, she talked to me from time to time,\nasking whether I had ever been at school before, whether I could mark,\nstitch, knit, &c.; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my\nobservations on Miss Scatcherd's movements.", "When I returned to my seat,\nthat lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the\nimport; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small\ninner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying\nin her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end.", "This ominous\ntool she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtesy; then she\nquietly, and without being told, unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher\ninstantly and sharply inflicted on her neck a dozen strokes with the\nbunch of twigs.", "Not a tear rose to Burns' eye; and, while I paused from\nmy sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment\nof unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive face\naltered its ordinary expression.", "\"Hardened girl!\"", "exclaimed Miss Scatcherd; \"nothing can correct you of\nyour slatternly habits: carry the rod away.\"", "Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the\nbook-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket,\nand the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.", "The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the\nday at Lowood: the bit of bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five\no'clock had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long\nrestraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in\nthe morning--its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to\nsupply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the\nruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the confusion of many voices gave\none a welcome sense of liberty.", "On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her\npupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing\ngroups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the\nwindows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a\ndrift was already forming against the lower panes; putting my ear close\nto the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within, the\ndisconsolate moan of the wind outside.", "Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would\nhave been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the\nseparation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this obscure\nchaos would have disturbed my peace!", "as it was, I derived from both a\nstrange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to howl\nmore wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise\nto clamour.", "Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of\nthe fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns,\nabsorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a\nbook, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.", "\"Is it still 'Rasselas'?\"", "I asked, coming behind her.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"and I have just finished it.\"", "And in five minutes more she shut it up.", "I was glad of this.", "\"Now,\"\nthought I, \"I can perhaps get her to talk.\"", "I sat down by her on the\nfloor.", "\"What is your name besides Burns?\"", "\"Helen.\"", "\"Do you come a long way from here?\"", "\"I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.\"", "\"Will you ever go back?\"", "\"I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.\"", "\"You must wish to leave Lowood?\"", "\"No!", "why should I?", "I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it\nwould be of no use going away until I have attained that object.\"", "\"But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?\"", "\"Cruel?", "Not at all!", "She is severe: she dislikes my faults.\"", "\"And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist her.", "If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand; I should\nbreak it under her nose.\"", "\"Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr.\nBrocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great grief\nto your relations.", "It is far better to endure patiently a smart which\nnobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil\nconsequences will extend to all connected with you; and besides, the\nBible bids us return good for evil.\"", "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"", "At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her\ngrave face.", "\"Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one,\neven the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them\ngently; and, if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my meed\nliberally.", "One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that\neven her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure\nme of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly,\ncannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight.\"", "\"That is curious,\" said I, \"it is so easy to be careful.\"", "\"For _you_ I have no doubt it is.", "I observed you in your class this\nmorning, and saw you were closely attentive: your thoughts never seemed\nto wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you.", "Now,\nmine continually rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd,\nand collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very sound\nof her voice; I fall into a sort of dream.", "Sometimes I think I am in\nNorthumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a\nlittle brook which runs through Deepden, near our house;--then, when it\ncomes to my turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and having heard\nnothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no\nanswer ready.\"", "\"Yet how well you replied this afternoon.\"", "\"It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been reading had\ninterested me.", "This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was\nwondering how a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and\nunwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it\nwas that, with his integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no\nfarther than the prerogatives of the crown.", "If he had but been able to\nlook to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was\ntending!", "Still, I like Charles--I respect him--I pity him, poor murdered\nking!", "Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right\nto shed.", "How dared they kill him!\"", "Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well\nunderstand her--that I was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she\ndiscussed.", "I recalled her to my level.", "\"And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts wander then?\"", "\"No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to\nsay which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly\nagreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what\nI wished to gain.\"", "\"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?\"", "\"Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides\nme.", "There is no merit in such goodness.\"", "\"A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you.", "It is all I\never desire to be.", "If people were always kind and obedient to those who\nare cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way:\nthey would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would\ngrow worse and worse.", "When we are struck at without a reason, we should\nstrike back again very hard; I am sure we should--so hard as to teach the\nperson who struck us never to do it again.\"", "\"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are\nbut a little untaught girl.\"", "\"But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to\nplease them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me\nunjustly.", "It is as natural as that I should love those who show me\naffection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved.\"", "\"Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and\ncivilised nations disown it.\"", "\"How?", "I don't understand.\"", "\"It is not violence that best overcomes hate--nor vengeance that most\ncertainly heals injury.\"", "\"What then?\"", "\"Read the New Testament, and observe what Christ says, and how He acts;\nmake His word your rule, and His conduct your example.\"", "\"What does He say?\"", "\"Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate\nyou and despitefully use you.\"", "\"Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son\nJohn, which is impossible.\"", "In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I proceeded forthwith\nto pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments.", "Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or\nsoftening.", "Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected she would then make a\nremark, but she said nothing.", "\"Well,\" I asked impatiently, \"is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad\nwoman?\"", "\"She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your\ncast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you\nremember all she has done and said to you!", "What a singularly deep\nimpression her injustice seems to have made on your heart!", "No ill-usage\nso brands its record on my feelings.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "\"Why,\" thought I, \"does\nshe not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face,\nas the water was frozen?\"", "When I returned to my seat,\nthat lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the\nimport; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small\ninner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying\nin her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end.", "\"Will you ever go back?\"", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"", "At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her\ngrave face.", "If he had but been able to\nlook to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was\ntending!", "\"Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate\nyou and despitefully use you.\"", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?" ]

[ "Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the\nbook-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket,\nand the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.", "I don't understand.\"", "I sat down by her on the\nfloor.", "\"I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "\"No!", "She is severe: she dislikes my faults.\"", "\"Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one,\neven the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them\ngently; and, if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my meed\nliberally.", "Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or\nsoftening.", "\"What does He say?\"" ]

[ "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "\n\nMy first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance of cold\nmeat and bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary\nmeals, was served round between the services.", "At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an exposed and hilly\nroad, where the bitter winter wind, blowing over a range of snowy summits\nto the north, almost flayed the skin from our faces.", "I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping\nline, her plaid cloak, which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close\nabout her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to keep up our\nspirits, and march forward, as she said, \"like stalwart soldiers.\"", "The\nother teachers, poor things, were generally themselves too much dejected\nto attempt the task of cheering others.", "How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when we got back!", "But, to the little ones at least, this was denied: each hearth in the\nschoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of great girls, and\nbehind them the younger children crouched in groups, wrapping their\nstarved arms in their pinafores.", "A little solace came at tea-time, in the shape of a double ration of\nbread--a whole, instead of a half, slice--with the delicious addition of\na thin scrape of butter: it was the hebdomadal treat to which we all\nlooked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath.", "I generally contrived to reserve\na moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was\ninvariably obliged to part with.", "The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart, the Church\nCatechism, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of St. Matthew; and\nin listening to a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible\nyawns attested her weariness.", "A frequent interlude of these performances\nwas the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half-dozen of little\ngirls, who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down, if not out of the\nthird loft, yet off the fourth form, and be taken up half dead.", "The\nremedy was, to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and\noblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished.", "Sometimes their\nfeet failed them, and they sank together in a heap; they were then\npropped up with the monitors' high stools.", "I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brocklehurst; and indeed that\ngentleman was from home during the greater part of the first month after\nmy arrival; perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend the archdeacon:\nhis absence was a relief to me.", "I need not say that I had my own reasons\nfor dreading his coming: but come he did at last.", "One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at Lowood), as I was sitting\nwith a slate in my hand, puzzling over a sum in long division, my eyes,\nraised in abstraction to the window, caught sight of a figure just\npassing: I recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline; and when,\ntwo minutes after, all the school, teachers included, rose _en masse_, it\nwas not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance\nthey thus greeted.", "A long stride measured the schoolroom, and presently\nbeside Miss Temple, who herself had risen, stood the same black column\nwhich had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead.", "I\nnow glanced sideways at this piece of architecture.", "Yes, I was right: it\nwas Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer,\nnarrower, and more rigid than ever.", "I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I\nremembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition,\n&c.; the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and\nthe teachers of my vicious nature.", "All along I had been dreading the\nfulfilment of this promise,--I had been looking out daily for the \"Coming\nMan,\" whose information respecting my past life and conversation was to\nbrand me as a bad child for ever: now there he was.", "He stood at Miss Temple's side; he was speaking low in her ear: I did not\ndoubt he was making disclosures of my villainy; and I watched her eye\nwith painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on\nme a glance of repugnance and contempt.", "I listened too; and as I\nhappened to be seated quite at the top of the room, I caught most of what\nhe said: its import relieved me from immediate apprehension.", "\"I suppose, Miss Temple, the thread I bought at Lowton will do; it struck\nme that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises, and I\nsorted the needles to match.", "You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to\nmake a memorandum of the darning needles, but she shall have some papers\nsent in next week; and she is not, on any account, to give out more than\none at a time to each pupil: if they have more, they are apt to be\ncareless and lose them.", "And, O ma'am!", "I wish the woollen stockings were\nbetter looked to!--when I was here last, I went into the kitchen-garden\nand examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a quantity of\nblack hose in a very bad state of repair: from the size of the holes in\nthem I was sure they had not been well mended from time to time.\"", "He paused.", "\"Your directions shall be attended to, sir,\" said Miss Temple.", "\"And, ma'am,\" he continued, \"the laundress tells me some of the girls\nhave two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them\nto one.\"", "\"I think I can explain that circumstance, sir.", "Agnes and Catherine\nJohnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last\nThursday, and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the\noccasion.\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.", "\"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur\ntoo often.", "And there is another thing which surprised me; I find, in\nsettling accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread\nand cheese, has twice been served out to the girls during the past\nfortnight.", "How is this?", "I looked over the regulations, and I find no\nsuch meal as lunch mentioned.", "Who introduced this innovation?", "and by\nwhat authority?\"", "\"I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,\" replied Miss Temple:\n\"the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat\nit; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner-time.\"", "\"Madam, allow me an instant.", "You are aware that my plan in bringing up\nthese girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence,\nbut to render them hardy, patient, self-denying.", "Should any little\naccidental disappointment of the appetite occur, such as the spoiling of\na meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish, the incident ought not\nto be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort\nlost, thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution;\nit ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of the pupils, by\nencouraging them to evince fortitude under temporary privation.", "A brief\naddress on those occasions would not be mistimed, wherein a judicious\ninstructor would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of\nthe primitive Christians; to the torments of martyrs; to the exhortations\nof our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciples to take up their\ncross and follow Him; to His warnings that man shall not live by bread\nalone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God; to His\ndivine consolations, \"If ye suffer hunger or thirst for My sake, happy\nare ye.\"", "Oh, madam, when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt\nporridge, into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile\nbodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal souls!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst again paused--perhaps overcome by his feelings.", "Miss\nTemple had looked down when he first began to speak to her; but she now\ngazed straight before her, and her face, naturally pale as marble,\nappeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material;\nespecially her mouth, closed as if it would have required a sculptor's\nchisel to open it, and her brow settled gradually into petrified\nseverity.", "Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the hearth with his hands behind\nhis back, majestically surveyed the whole school.", "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly.", "Miss Temple, that girl's hair must be cut off entirely; I will\nsend a barber to-morrow: and I see others who have far too much of the\nexcrescence--that tall girl, tell her to turn round.", "Tell all the first\nform to rise up and direct their faces to the wall.\"", "Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips, as if to smooth away\nthe involuntary smile that curled them; she gave the order, however, and\nwhen the first class could take in what was required of them, they\nobeyed.", "Leaning a little back on my bench, I could see the looks and\ngrimaces with which they commented on this manoeuvre: it was a pity Mr.\nBrocklehurst could not see them too; he would perhaps have felt that,\nwhatever he might do with the outside of the cup and platter, the inside\nwas further beyond his interference than he imagined.", "He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then\npronounced sentence.", "These words fell like the knell of doom--\n\n\"All those top-knots must be cut off.\"", "Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.", "\"Madam,\" he pursued, \"I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is not of\nthis world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts of the\nflesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness and\nsobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel; and each of the young\npersons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity\nitself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off; think of the\ntime wasted, of--\"\n\nMr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors, ladies, now\nentered the room.", "They ought to have come a little sooner to have heard\nhis lecture on dress, for they were splendidly attired in velvet, silk,\nand furs.", "The two younger of the trio (fine girls of sixteen and\nseventeen) had grey beaver hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich\nplumes, and from under the brim of this graceful head-dress fell a\nprofusion of light tresses, elaborately curled; the elder lady was\nenveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed with ermine, and she wore a\nfalse front of French curls.", "These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs. and the\nMisses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at the top of the\nroom.", "It seems they had come in the carriage with their reverend\nrelative, and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of the room\nupstairs, while he transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned\nthe laundress, and lectured the superintendent.", "They now proceeded to\naddress divers remarks and reproofs to Miss Smith, who was charged with\nthe care of the linen and the inspection of the dormitories: but I had no\ntime to listen to what they said; other matters called off and enchanted\nmy attention.", "Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr. Brocklehurst and Miss\nTemple, I had not, at the same time, neglected precautions to secure my\npersonal safety; which I thought would be effected, if I could only elude\nobservation.", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst.", "It came.", "\"A careless girl!\"", "said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after--\"It is\nthe new pupil, I perceive.\"", "And before I could draw breath, \"I must not\nforget I have a word to say respecting her.\"", "Then aloud: how loud it\nseemed to me!", "\"Let the child who broke her slate come forward!\"", "Of my own accord I could not have stirred; I was paralysed: but the two\ngreat girls who sit on each side of me, set me on my legs and pushed me\ntowards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple gently assisted me to his\nvery feet, and I caught her whispered counsel--\n\n\"Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident; you shall not be\npunished.\"", "The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.", "\"Another minute, and she will despise me for a hypocrite,\" thought I; and\nan impulse of fury against Reed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my\npulses at the conviction.", "I was no Helen Burns.", "\"Fetch that stool,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a very high one\nfrom which a monitor had just risen: it was brought.", "\"Place the child upon it.\"", "And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no condition to\nnote particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up to the\nheight of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of me, and\nthat a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of\nsilvery plumage extended and waved below me.", "Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.", "\"Ladies,\" said he, turning to his family, \"Miss Temple, teachers, and\nchildren, you all see this girl?\"", "Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed like burning-glasses\nagainst my scorched skin.", "\"You see she is yet young; you observe she possesses the ordinary form of\nchildhood; God has graciously given her the shape that He has given to\nall of us; no signal deformity points her out as a marked character.", "Who\nwould think that the Evil One had already found a servant and agent in\nher?", "Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case.\"", "A pause--in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel\nthat the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked,\nmust be firmly sustained.", "\"My dear children,\" pursued the black marble clergyman, with pathos,\n\"this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes my duty to warn\nyou, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a little\ncastaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and\nan alien.", "You must be on your guard against her; you must shun her\nexample; if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from your sports,\nand shut her out from your converse.", "Teachers, you must watch her: keep\nyour eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions,\npunish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible,\nfor (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native\nof a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its\nprayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut--this girl is--a liar!\"", "Now came a pause of ten minutes, during which I, by this time in perfect\npossession of my wits, observed all the female Brocklehursts produce\ntheir pocket-handkerchiefs and apply them to their optics, while the\nelderly lady swayed herself to and fro, and the two younger ones\nwhispered, \"How shocking!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.", "\"This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious and charitable lady\nwho adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and\nwhose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an\ningratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was\nobliged to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious\nexample should contaminate their purity: she has sent her here to be\nhealed, even as the Jews of old sent their diseased to the troubled pool\nof Bethesda; and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the\nwaters to stagnate round her.\"", "With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted the top button of\nhis surtout, muttered something to his family, who rose, bowed to Miss\nTemple, and then all the great people sailed in state from the room.", "Turning at the door, my judge said--\n\n\"Let her stand half-an-hour longer on that stool, and let no one speak to\nher during the remainder of the day.\"", "There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the\nshame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now\nexposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy.", "What my sensations were\nno language can describe; but just as they all rose, stifling my breath\nand constricting my throat, a girl came up and passed me: in passing, she\nlifted her eyes.", "What a strange light inspired them!", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "The\nremedy was, to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and\noblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished.", "\"And, ma'am,\" he continued, \"the laundress tells me some of the girls\nhave two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them\nto one.\"", "Agnes and Catherine\nJohnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last\nThursday, and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the\noccasion.\"", "And there is another thing which surprised me; I find, in\nsettling accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread\nand cheese, has twice been served out to the girls during the past\nfortnight.", "You are aware that my plan in bringing up\nthese girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence,\nbut to render them hardy, patient, self-denying.", "\"Madam,\" he pursued, \"I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is not of\nthis world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts of the\nflesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness and\nsobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel; and each of the young\npersons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity\nitself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off; think of the\ntime wasted, of--\"\n\nMr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors, ladies, now\nentered the room.", "These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs. and the\nMisses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at the top of the\nroom.", "\"Place the child upon it.\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.", "What a smile!" ]

[ "I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I\nremembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition,\n&c.; the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and\nthe teachers of my vicious nature.", "\"Your directions shall be attended to, sir,\" said Miss Temple.", "Teachers, you must watch her: keep\nyour eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions,\npunish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible,\nfor (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native\nof a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its\nprayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut--this girl is--a liar!\"", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly.", "I need not say that I had my own reasons\nfor dreading his coming: but come he did at last.", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst.", "The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart, the Church\nCatechism, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of St. Matthew; and\nin listening to a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible\nyawns attested her weariness.", "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the\nshame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now\nexposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy." ]

[ "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly." ]

[ "\n\nMy first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "She sat down on the\nground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head\nupon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian.", "I was the\nfirst who spoke--\n\n\"Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a\nliar?\"", "\"Everybody, Jane?", "Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you\ncalled so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.\"", "\"But what have I to do with millions?", "The eighty, I know, despise me.\"", "\"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises\nor dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.\"", "\"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?\"", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man:\nhe is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked.", "Had\nhe treated you as an especial favourite, you would have found enemies,\ndeclared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would\noffer you sympathy if they dared.", "Teachers and pupils may look coldly on\nyou for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their\nhearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long\nappear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression.", "Besides, Jane\"--she paused.", "\"Well, Helen?\"", "said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers\ngently to warm them, and went on--\n\n\"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own\nconscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be\nwithout friends.\"", "\"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if\nothers don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be\nsolitary and hated, Helen.", "Look here; to gain some real affection from\nyou, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly\nsubmit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to\nstand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest--\"\n\n\"Hush, Jane!", "you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too\nimpulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and\nput life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble\nself, or than creatures feeble as you.", "Besides this earth, and besides\nthe race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits:\nthat world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us,\nfor they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and\nshame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see\nour tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you\nare of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously\nrepeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in\nyour ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the\nseparation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward.", "Why,\nthen, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon\nover, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?\"", "I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted\nthere was an alloy of inexpressible sadness.", "I felt the impression of\nwoe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came; and when, having\ndone speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I\nmomentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her.", "Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she\ndrew me to her, and we reposed in silence.", "We had not sat long thus,\nwhen another person came in.", "Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a\nrising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through\na window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which\nwe at once recognised as Miss Temple.", "\"I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre,\" said she; \"I want you in my\nroom; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too.\"", "We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some\nintricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her\napartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful.", "Miss Temple\ntold Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one side of the\nhearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side.", "\"Is it all over?\"", "she asked, looking down at my face.", "\"Have you cried\nyour grief away?\"", "\"I am afraid I never shall do that.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else,\nwill now think me wicked.\"", "\"We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.", "Continue to\nact as a good girl, and you will satisfy us.\"", "\"Shall I, Miss Temple?\"", "\"You will,\" said she, passing her arm round me.", "\"And now tell me who is\nthe lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?\"", "\"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife.", "My uncle is dead, and he left me to her\ncare.\"", "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns.", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "Have you coughed much to-day?\"", "\"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.\"", "\"And the pain in your chest?\"", "\"It is a little better.\"", "Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then she\nreturned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low.", "She\nwas pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully--\n\n\"But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.\"", "She\nrang her bell.", "\"Barbara,\" she said to the servant who answered it, \"I have not yet had\ntea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.\"", "And a tray was soon brought.", "How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups\nand bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire!", "How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast!", "of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry)\ndiscerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.", "\"Barbara,\" said she, \"can you not bring a little more bread and butter?", "There is not enough for three.\"", "Barbara went out: she returned soon--\n\n\"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.\"", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.", "\"Oh, very well!\"", "returned Miss Temple; \"we must make it do, Barbara, I\nsuppose.\"", "And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling, \"Fortunately, I\nhave it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once.\"", "Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each\nof us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got\nup, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper,\ndisclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.", "\"I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you,\" said she,\n\"but as there is so little toast, you must have it now,\" and she\nproceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.", "We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least\ndelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which\nour hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the\ndelicate fare she liberally supplied.", "Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat\none on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and\nHelen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.", "Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state in her\nmien, of refined propriety in her language, which precluded deviation\ninto the ardent, the excited, the eager: something which chastened the\npleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling\nsense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns, I was\nstruck with wonder.", "The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her\nbeloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her\nown unique mind, had roused her powers within her.", "They woke, they\nkindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till\nthis hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the\nliquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more\nsingular than that of Miss Temple's--a beauty neither of fine colour nor\nlong eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of\nradiance.", "Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what\nsource I cannot tell.", "Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough,\nvigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid\neloquence?", "Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to\nme, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very\nbrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.", "They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past;\nof countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at:\nthey spoke of books: how many they had read!", "What stores of knowledge\nthey possessed!", "Then they seemed so familiar with French names and\nFrench authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple\nasked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her\nfather had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and\nconstrue a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration\nexpanding at every sounding line.", "She had scarcely finished ere the bell\nannounced bedtime!", "no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us\nboth, saying, as she drew us to her heart--\n\n\"God bless you, my children!\"", "Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly;\nit was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second\ntime breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.", "On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was\nexamining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we\nentered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow\nshe should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her\nshoulder.", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"", "Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece\nof pasteboard the word \"Slattern,\" and bound it like a phylactery round\nHelen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead.", "She wore\nit till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved\npunishment.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "she asked, looking down at my face.", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns.", "Have you coughed much to-day?\"", "\"And the pain in your chest?\"", "\"It is a little better.\"", "She\nrang her bell.", "How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast!", "Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to\nme, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very\nbrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day." ]

[ "She\nwas pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully--\n\n\"But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.\"", "Barbara went out: she returned soon--\n\n\"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.\"", "Look here; to gain some real affection from\nyou, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly\nsubmit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to\nstand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest--\"\n\n\"Hush, Jane!", "Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a\nrising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through\na window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which\nwe at once recognised as Miss Temple.", "We had not sat long thus,\nwhen another person came in.", "Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each\nof us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got\nup, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper,\ndisclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.", "I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted\nthere was an alloy of inexpressible sadness.", "Besides this earth, and besides\nthe race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits:\nthat world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us,\nfor they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and\nshame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see\nour tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you\nare of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously\nrepeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in\nyour ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the\nseparation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward.", "\"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if\nothers don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be\nsolitary and hated, Helen.", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"" ]

[ "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "All this I enjoyed often\nand fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for this unwonted liberty\nand pleasure there was a cause, to which it now becomes my task to\nadvert.", "Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when I speak of it\nas bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from the verge of a stream?", "Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not is another\nquestion.", "That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred\npestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the\nOrphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and\ndormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an\nhospital.", "Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of the pupils to\nreceive infection: forty-five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one\ntime.", "Classes were broken up, rules relaxed.", "The few who continued well\nwere allowed almost unlimited license; because the medical attendant\ninsisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them in health:\nand had it been otherwise, no one had leisure to watch or restrain them.", "Miss Temple's whole attention was absorbed by the patients: she lived in\nthe sick-room, never quitting it except to snatch a few hours' rest at\nnight.", "The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other\nnecessary preparations for the departure of those girls who were\nfortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove\nthem from the seat of contagion.", "Many, already smitten, went home only\nto die: some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the\nnature of the malady forbidding delay.", "While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood, and death its\nfrequent visitor; while there was gloom and fear within its walls; while\nits rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drug and the\npastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality, that\nbright May shone unclouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland out\nof doors.", "Its garden, too, glowed with flowers: hollyhocks had sprung up\ntall as trees, lilies had opened, tulips and roses were in bloom; the\nborders of the little beds were gay with pink thrift and crimson double\ndaisies; the sweetbriars gave out, morning and evening, their scent of\nspice and apples; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for most\nof the inmates of Lowood, except to furnish now and then a handful of\nherbs and blossoms to put in a coffin.", "But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the\nscene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from\nmorning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived\nbetter too.", "Mr. Brocklehurst and his family never came near Lowood now:\nhousehold matters were not scrutinised into; the cross housekeeper was\ngone, driven away by the fear of infection; her successor, who had been\nmatron at the Lowton Dispensary, unused to the ways of her new abode,\nprovided with comparative liberality.", "Besides, there were fewer to feed;\nthe sick could eat little; our breakfast-basins were better filled; when\nthere was no time to prepare a regular dinner, which often happened, she\nwould give us a large piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and\ncheese, and this we carried away with us to the wood, where we each chose\nthe spot we liked best, and dined sumptuously.", "My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising white and dry from\nthe very middle of the beck, and only to be got at by wading through the\nwater; a feat I accomplished barefoot.", "The stone was just broad enough\nto accommodate, comfortably, another girl and me, at that time my chosen\ncomrade--one Mary Ann Wilson; a shrewd, observant personage, whose\nsociety I took pleasure in, partly because she was witty and original,\nand partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease.", "Some years\nolder than I, she knew more of the world, and could tell me many things I\nliked to hear: with her my curiosity found gratification: to my faults\nalso she gave ample indulgence, never imposing curb or rein on anything I\nsaid.", "She had a turn for narrative, I for analysis; she liked to inform,\nI to question; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much\nentertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual intercourse.", "And where, meantime, was Helen Burns?", "Why did I not spend these sweet\ndays of liberty with her?", "Had I forgotten her?", "or was I so worthless as\nto have grown tired of her pure society?", "Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I\nhave mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance: she could only tell\nme amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose\nto indulge in; while, if I have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified\nto give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far\nhigher things.", "True, reader; and I knew and felt this: and though I am a defective\nbeing, with many faults and few redeeming points, yet I never tired of\nHelen Burns; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of\nattachment, as strong, tender, and respectful as any that ever animated\nmy heart.", "How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under\nall circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which\nill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled?", "But Helen was\nill at present: for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I\nknew not what room upstairs.", "She was not, I was told, in the hospital\nportion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was\nconsumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance,\nunderstood something mild, which time and care would be sure to\nalleviate.", "I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming\ndownstairs on very warm sunny afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple\ninto the garden; but, on these occasions, I was not allowed to go and\nspeak to her; I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not\ndistinctly; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a distance under the\nverandah.", "One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out very late with\nMary Ann in the wood; we had, as usual, separated ourselves from the\nothers, and had wandered far; so far that we lost our way, and had to ask\nit at a lonely cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a\nherd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood.", "When we got\nback, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's,\nwas standing at the garden door.", "Mary Ann remarked that she supposed\nsome one must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time of\nthe evening.", "She went into the house; I stayed behind a few minutes to\nplant in my garden a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and\nwhich I feared would wither if I left them till the morning.", "This done,\nI lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew\nfell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still\nglowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon\nrose with such majesty in the grave east.", "I was noting these things and\nenjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never\ndone before:--\n\n\"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying!", "This world is pleasant--it would be dreary to be called from it, and to\nhave to go who knows where?\"", "And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had\nbeen infused into it concerning heaven and hell; and for the first time\nit recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each\nside, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one\npoint where it stood--the present; all the rest was formless cloud and\nvacant depth; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging\namid that chaos.", "While pondering this new idea, I heard the front door\nopen; Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse.", "After she had seen\nhim mount his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I\nran up to her.", "\"How is Helen Burns?\"", "\"Very poorly,\" was the answer.", "\"Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what does he say about her?\"", "\"He says she'll not be here long.\"", "This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have only conveyed\nthe notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own\nhome.", "I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying; but I\nknew instantly now!", "It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns\nwas numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be\ntaken to the region of spirits, if such region there were.", "I experienced\na shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire--a\nnecessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay.", "\"She is in Miss Temple's room,\" said the nurse.", "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness.", "Indisposed to hesitate, and full of impatient\nimpulses--soul and senses quivering with keen throes--I put it back and\nlooked in.", "My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.", "Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its white curtains,\nthere stood a little crib.", "I saw the outline of a form under the\nclothes, but the face was hid by the hangings: the nurse I had spoken to\nin the garden sat in an easy-chair asleep; an unsnuffed candle burnt\ndimly on the table.", "Miss Temple was not to be seen: I knew afterwards\nthat she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-room.", "I\nadvanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I\npreferred speaking before I withdrew it.", "I still recoiled at the dread\nof seeing a corpse.", "\"Helen!\"", "I whispered softly, \"are you awake?\"", "She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I saw her face, pale,\nwasted, but quite composed: she looked so little changed that my fear was\ninstantly dissipated.", "\"Can it be you, Jane?\"", "she asked, in her own gentle voice.", "\"Oh!\"", "I thought, \"she is not going to die; they are mistaken: she could\nnot speak and look so calmly if she were.\"", "I got on to her crib and kissed her: her forehead was cold, and her cheek\nboth cold and thin, and so were her hand and wrist; but she smiled as of\nold.", "\"Why are you come here, Jane?", "It is past eleven o'clock: I heard it\nstrike some minutes since.\"", "\"I came to see you, Helen: I heard you were very ill, and I could not\nsleep till I had spoken to you.\"", "\"You came to bid me good-bye, then: you are just in time probably.\"", "\"Are you going somewhere, Helen?", "Are you going home?\"", "\"Yes; to my long home--my last home.\"", "\"No, no, Helen!\"", "I stopped, distressed.", "While I tried to devour my\ntears, a fit of coughing seized Helen; it did not, however, wake the\nnurse; when it was over, she lay some minutes exhausted; then she\nwhispered--\n\n\"Jane, your little feet are bare; lie down and cover yourself with my\nquilt.\"", "I did so: she put her arm over me, and I nestled close to her.", "After a\nlong silence, she resumed, still whispering--\n\n\"I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be\nsure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about.", "We all must die\none day, and the illness which is removing me is not painful; it is\ngentle and gradual: my mind is at rest.", "I leave no one to regret me\nmuch: I have only a father; and he is lately married, and will not miss\nme.", "By dying young, I shall escape great sufferings.", "I had not\nqualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have\nbeen continually at fault.\"", "\"But where are you going to, Helen?", "Can you see?", "Do you know?\"", "\"I believe; I have faith: I am going to God.\"", "\"Where is God?", "What is God?\"", "\"My Maker and yours, who will never destroy what He created.", "I rely\nimplicitly on His power, and confide wholly in His goodness: I count the\nhours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him,\nreveal Him to me.\"", "\"You are sure, then, Helen, that there is such a place as heaven, and\nthat our souls can get to it when we die?\"", "\"I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign\nmy immortal part to Him without any misgiving.", "God is my father; God is\nmy friend: I love Him; I believe He loves me.\"", "\"And shall I see you again, Helen, when I die?\"", "\"You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same\nmighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.\"", "Again I questioned, but this time only in thought.", "\"Where is that\nregion?", "Does it exist?\"", "And I clasped my arms closer round Helen; she\nseemed dearer to me than ever; I felt as if I could not let her go; I lay\nwith my face hidden on her neck.", "Presently she said, in the sweetest\ntone--\n\n\"How comfortable I am!", "That last fit of coughing has tired me a little;\nI feel as if I could sleep: but don't leave me, Jane; I like to have you\nnear me.\"", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "She had a turn for narrative, I for analysis; she liked to inform,\nI to question; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much\nentertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual intercourse.", "I experienced\na shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire--a\nnecessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "\"Helen!\"", "I thought, \"she is not going to die; they are mistaken: she could\nnot speak and look so calmly if she were.\"", "I stopped, distressed.", "\"Where is God?", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"" ]

[ "She was not, I was told, in the hospital\nportion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was\nconsumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance,\nunderstood something mild, which time and care would be sure to\nalleviate.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"", "That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred\npestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the\nOrphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and\ndormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an\nhospital.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising white and dry from\nthe very middle of the beck, and only to be got at by wading through the\nwater; a feat I accomplished barefoot.", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "\"Yes.\"", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"" ]

[ "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "During these eight years my life was uniform: but not unhappy, because it\nwas not inactive.", "I had the means of an excellent education placed\nwithin my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and a desire to excel\nin all, together with a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially\nsuch as I loved, urged me on: I availed myself fully of the advantages\noffered me.", "In time I rose to be the first girl of the first class; then\nI was invested with the office of teacher; which I discharged with zeal\nfor two years: but at the end of that time I altered.", "Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued superintendent\nof the seminary: to her instruction I owed the best part of my\nacquirements; her friendship and society had been my continual solace;\nshe had stood me in the stead of mother, governess, and, latterly,\ncompanion.", "At this period she married, removed with her husband (a\nclergyman, an excellent man, almost worthy of such a wife) to a distant\ncounty, and consequently was lost to me.", "From the day she left I was no longer the same: with her was gone every\nsettled feeling, every association that had made Lowood in some degree a\nhome to me.", "I had imbibed from her something of her nature and much of\nher habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemed better regulated\nfeelings had become the inmates of my mind.", "I had given in allegiance to\nduty and order; I was quiet; I believed I was content: to the eyes of\nothers, usually even to my own, I appeared a disciplined and subdued\ncharacter.", "But destiny, in the shape of the Rev.", "Mr. Nasmyth, came between me and\nMiss Temple: I saw her in her travelling dress step into a post-chaise,\nshortly after the marriage ceremony; I watched the chaise mount the hill\nand disappear beyond its brow; and then retired to my own room, and there\nspent in solitude the greatest part of the half-holiday granted in honour\nof the occasion.", "I walked about the chamber most of the time.", "I imagined myself only to\nbe regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when my\nreflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that the afternoon\nwas gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawned on me,\nnamely, that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process; that\nmy mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple--or rather that\nshe had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her\nvicinity--and that now I was left in my natural element, and beginning to\nfeel the stirring of old emotions.", "It did not seem as if a prop were\nwithdrawn, but rather as if a motive were gone: it was not the power to\nbe tranquil which had failed me, but the reason for tranquillity was no\nmore.", "My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been\nof its rules and systems; now I remembered that the real world was wide,\nand that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and\nexcitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse,\nto seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.", "I went to my window, opened it, and looked out.", "There were the two wings\nof the building; there was the garden; there were the skirts of Lowood;\nthere was the hilly horizon.", "My eye passed all other objects to rest on\nthose most remote, the blue peaks; it was those I longed to surmount; all\nwithin their boundary of rock and heath seemed prison-ground, exile\nlimits.", "I traced the white road winding round the base of one mountain,\nand vanishing in a gorge between two; how I longed to follow it farther!", "I recalled the time when I had travelled that very road in a coach; I\nremembered descending that hill at twilight; an age seemed to have\nelapsed since the day which brought me first to Lowood, and I had never\nquitted it since.", "My vacations had all been spent at school: Mrs. Reed\nhad never sent for me to Gateshead; neither she nor any of her family had\never been to visit me.", "I had had no communication by letter or message\nwith the outer world: school-rules, school-duties, school-habits and\nnotions, and voices, and faces, and phrases, and costumes, and\npreferences, and antipathies--such was what I knew of existence.", "And now\nI felt that it was not enough; I tired of the routine of eight years in\none afternoon.", "I desired liberty; for liberty I gasped; for liberty I\nuttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing.", "I\nabandoned it and framed a humbler supplication; for change, stimulus:\nthat petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space: \"Then,\" I cried,\nhalf desperate, \"grant me at least a new servitude!\"", "Here a bell, ringing the hour of supper, called me downstairs.", "I was not free to resume the interrupted chain of my reflections till\nbedtime: even then a teacher who occupied the same room with me kept me\nfrom the subject to which I longed to recur, by a prolonged effusion of\nsmall talk.", "How I wished sleep would silence her.", "It seemed as if,\ncould I but go back to the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood\nat the window, some inventive suggestion would rise for my relief.", "Miss Gryce snored at last; she was a heavy Welshwoman, and till now her\nhabitual nasal strains had never been regarded by me in any other light\nthan as a nuisance; to-night I hailed the first deep notes with\nsatisfaction; I was debarrassed of interruption; my half-effaced thought\ninstantly revived.", "\"A new servitude!", "There is something in that,\" I soliloquised (mentally,\nbe it understood; I did not talk aloud), \"I know there is, because it\ndoes not sound too sweet; it is not like such words as Liberty,\nExcitement, Enjoyment: delightful sounds truly; but no more than sounds\nfor me; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to\nlisten to them.", "But Servitude!", "That must be matter of fact.", "Any one\nmay serve: I have served here eight years; now all I want is to serve\nelsewhere.", "Can I not get so much of my own will?", "Is not the thing\nfeasible?", "Yes--yes--the end is not so difficult; if I had only a brain\nactive enough to ferret out the means of attaining it.\"", "I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain: it was a chilly\nnight; I covered my shoulders with a shawl, and then I proceeded _to\nthink_ again with all my might.", "\"What do I want?", "A new place, in a new house, amongst new faces, under\nnew circumstances: I want this because it is of no use wanting anything\nbetter.", "How do people do to get a new place?", "They apply to friends, I\nsuppose: I have no friends.", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "I could not tell: nothing answered me; I then ordered my brain to find a\nresponse, and quickly.", "It worked and worked faster: I felt the pulses\nthrob in my head and temples; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos;\nand no result came of its efforts.", "Feverish with vain labour, I got up\nand took a turn in the room; undrew the curtain, noted a star or two,\nshivered with cold, and again crept to bed.", "A kind fairy, in my absence, had surely dropped the required suggestion\non my pillow; for as I lay down, it came quietly and naturally to my\nmind.--\"Those who want situations advertise; you must advertise in the\n_---shire Herald_.\"", "\"How?", "I know nothing about advertising.\"", "Replies rose smooth and prompt now:--\n\n\"You must enclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under a\ncover directed to the editor of the _Herald_; you must put it, the first\nopportunity you have, into the post at Lowton; answers must be addressed\nto J.E., at the post-office there; you can go and inquire in about a week\nafter you send your letter, if any are come, and act accordingly.\"", "This scheme I went over twice, thrice; it was then digested in my mind; I\nhad it in a clear practical form: I felt satisfied, and fell asleep.", "With earliest day, I was up: I had my advertisement written, enclosed,\nand directed before the bell rang to rouse the school; it ran thus:--\n\n\"A young lady accustomed to tuition\" (had I not been a teacher two\nyears?)", "\"is desirous of meeting with a situation in a private family\nwhere the children are under fourteen\" (I thought that as I was barely\neighteen, it would not do to undertake the guidance of pupils nearer my\nown age).", "\"She is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English\neducation, together with French, Drawing, and Music\" (in those days,\nreader, this now narrow catalogue of accomplishments, would have been\nheld tolerably comprehensive).", "\"Address, J.E., Post-office, Lowton, ---\nshire.\"", "This document remained locked in my drawer all day: after tea, I asked\nleave of the new superintendent to go to Lowton, in order to perform some\nsmall commissions for myself and one or two of my fellow-teachers;\npermission was readily granted; I went.", "It was a walk of two miles, and\nthe evening was wet, but the days were still long; I visited a shop or\ntwo, slipped the letter into the post-office, and came back through heavy\nrain, with streaming garments, but with a relieved heart.", "The succeeding week seemed long: it came to an end at last, however, like\nall sublunary things, and once more, towards the close of a pleasant\nautumn day, I found myself afoot on the road to Lowton.", "A picturesque\ntrack it was, by the way; lying along the side of the beck and through\nthe sweetest curves of the dale: but that day I thought more of the\nletters, that might or might not be awaiting me at the little burgh\nwhither I was bound, than of the charms of lea and water.", "My ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured for a pair of\nshoes; so I discharged that business first, and when it was done, I\nstepped across the clean and quiet little street from the shoemaker's to\nthe post-office: it was kept by an old dame, who wore horn spectacles on\nher nose, and black mittens on her hands.", "\"Are there any letters for J.E.?\"", "I asked.", "She peered at me over her spectacles, and then she opened a drawer and\nfumbled among its contents for a long time, so long that my hopes began\nto falter.", "At last, having held a document before her glasses for nearly\nfive minutes, she presented it across the counter, accompanying the act\nby another inquisitive and mistrustful glance--it was for J.E.", "\"Is there only one?\"", "I demanded.", "\"There are no more,\" said she; and I put it in my pocket and turned my\nface homeward: I could not open it then; rules obliged me to be back by\neight, and it was already half-past seven.", "Various duties awaited me on my arrival.", "I had to sit with the girls\nduring their hour of study; then it was my turn to read prayers; to see\nthem to bed: afterwards I supped with the other teachers.", "Even when we\nfinally retired for the night, the inevitable Miss Gryce was still my\ncompanion: we had only a short end of candle in our candlestick, and I\ndreaded lest she should talk till it was all burnt out; fortunately,\nhowever, the heavy supper she had eaten produced a soporific effect: she\nwas already snoring before I had finished undressing.", "There still\nremained an inch of candle: I now took out my letter; the seal was an\ninitial F.; I broke it; the contents were brief.", "\"If J.E., who advertised in the _---shire Herald_ of last Thursday,\npossesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she is in a position to give\nsatisfactory references as to character and competency, a situation can\nbe offered her where there is but one pupil, a little girl, under ten\nyears of age; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum.", "J.E.", "is\nrequested to send references, name, address, and all particulars to the\ndirection:--\n\n\"Mrs. Fairfax, Thornfield, near Millcote, ---shire.\"", "I examined the document long: the writing was old-fashioned and rather\nuncertain, like that of an elderly lady.", "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out.", "Next day new steps were to be taken; my plans could no longer be confined\nto my own breast; I must impart them in order to achieve their success.", "Having sought and obtained an audience of the superintendent during the\nnoontide recreation, I told her I had a prospect of getting a new\nsituation where the salary would be double what I now received (for at\nLowood I only got 15 pounds per annum); and requested she would break the\nmatter for me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee, and\nascertain whether they would permit me to mention them as references.", "She\nobligingly consented to act as mediatrix in the matter.", "The next day she\nlaid the affair before Mr. Brocklehurst, who said that Mrs. Reed must be\nwritten to, as she was my natural guardian.", "A note was accordingly\naddressed to that lady, who returned for answer, that \"I might do as I\npleased: she had long relinquished all interference in my affairs.\"", "This\nnote went the round of the committee, and at last, after what appeared to\nme most tedious delay, formal leave was given me to better my condition\nif I could; and an assurance added, that as I had always conducted myself\nwell, both as teacher and pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character\nand capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution, should\nforthwith be furnished me.", "This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month, forwarded a\ncopy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and got that lady's reply, stating that she\nwas satisfied, and fixing that day fortnight as the period for my\nassuming the post of governess in her house.", "I now busied myself in preparations: the fortnight passed rapidly.", "I had\nnot a very large wardrobe, though it was adequate to my wants; and the\nlast day sufficed to pack my trunk,--the same I had brought with me eight\nyears ago from Gateshead.", "The box was corded, the card nailed on.", "In half-an-hour the carrier was\nto call for it to take it to Lowton, whither I myself was to repair at an\nearly hour the next morning to meet the coach.", "I had brushed my black\nstuff travelling-dress, prepared my bonnet, gloves, and muff; sought in\nall my drawers to see that no article was left behind; and now having\nnothing more to do, I sat down and tried to rest.", "I could not; though I\nhad been on foot all day, I could not now repose an instant; I was too\nmuch excited.", "A phase of my life was closing to-night, a new one opening\nto-morrow: impossible to slumber in the interval; I must watch feverishly\nwhile the change was being accomplished.", "\"Miss,\" said a servant who met me in the lobby, where I was wandering\nlike a troubled spirit, \"a person below wishes to see you.\"", "\"The carrier, no doubt,\" I thought, and ran downstairs without inquiry.", "I\nwas passing the back-parlour or teachers' sitting-room, the door of which\nwas half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one ran out--\n\n\"It's her, I am sure!--I could have told her anywhere!\"", "cried the\nindividual who stopped my progress and took my hand.", "I looked: I saw a woman attired like a well-dressed servant, matronly,\nyet still young; very good-looking, with black hair and eyes, and lively\ncomplexion.", "\"Well, who is it?\"", "she asked, in a voice and with a smile I half\nrecognised; \"you've not quite forgotten me, I think, Miss Jane?\"", "In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously: \"Bessie!", "Bessie!", "Bessie!\"", "that was all I said; whereat she half laughed, half\ncried, and we both went into the parlour.", "By the fire stood a little\nfellow of three years old, in plaid frock and trousers.", "\"That is my little boy,\" said Bessie directly.", "\"Then you are married, Bessie?\"", "\"Yes; nearly five years since to Robert Leaven, the coachman; and I've a\nlittle girl besides Bobby there, that I've christened Jane.\"", "\"And you don't live at Gateshead?\"", "\"I live at the lodge: the old porter has left.\"", "\"Well, and how do they all get on?", "Tell me everything about them,\nBessie: but sit down first; and, Bobby, come and sit on my knee, will\nyou?\"", "but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother.", "\"You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so very stout,\" continued\nMrs. Leaven.", "\"I dare say they've not kept you too well at school: Miss\nReed is the head and shoulders taller than you are; and Miss Georgiana\nwould make two of you in breadth.\"", "\"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie?\"", "\"Very.", "She went up to London last winter with her mama, and there\neverybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her: but his\nrelations were against the match; and--what do you think?--he and Miss\nGeorgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped.", "It\nwas Miss Reed that found them out: I believe she was envious; and now she\nand her sister lead a cat and dog life together; they are always\nquarrelling--\"\n\n\"Well, and what of John Reed?\"", "\"Oh, he is not doing so well as his mama could wish.", "He went to college,\nand he got--plucked, I think they call it: and then his uncles wanted him\nto be a barrister, and study the law: but he is such a dissipated young\nman, they will never make much of him, I think.\"", "\"What does he look like?\"", "\"He is very tall: some people call him a fine-looking young man; but he\nhas such thick lips.\"", "\"And Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"Missis looks stout and well enough in the face, but I think she's not\nquite easy in her mind: Mr. John's conduct does not please her--he spends\na deal of money.\"", "\"Did she send you here, Bessie?\"", "\"No, indeed: but I have long wanted to see you, and when I heard that\nthere had been a letter from you, and that you were going to another part\nof the country, I thought I'd just set off, and get a look at you before\nyou were quite out of my reach.\"", "\"I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie.\"", "I said this laughing:\nI perceived that Bessie's glance, though it expressed regard, did in no\nshape denote admiration.", "\"No, Miss Jane, not exactly: you are genteel enough; you look like a\nlady, and it is as much as ever I expected of you: you were no beauty as\na child.\"", "I smiled at Bessie's frank answer: I felt that it was correct, but I\nconfess I was not quite indifferent to its import: at eighteen most\npeople wish to please, and the conviction that they have not an exterior\nlikely to second that desire brings anything but gratification.", "\"I dare say you are clever, though,\" continued Bessie, by way of solace.", "\"What can you do?", "Can you play on the piano?\"", "\"A little.\"", "There was one in the room; Bessie went and opened it, and then asked me\nto sit down and give her a tune: I played a waltz or two, and she was\ncharmed.", "\"The Miss Reeds could not play as well!\"", "said she exultingly.", "\"I always\nsaid you would surpass them in learning: and can you draw?\"", "\"That is one of my paintings over the chimney-piece.\"", "It was a landscape\nin water colours, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in\nacknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf,\nand which she had framed and glazed.", "\"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane!", "It is as fine a picture as any Miss\nReed's drawing-master could paint, let alone the young ladies themselves,\nwho could not come near it: and have you learnt French?\"", "\"Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it.\"", "\"And you can work on muslin and canvas?\"", "\"I can.\"", "\"Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane!", "I knew you would be: you will get\non whether your relations notice you or not.", "There was something I\nwanted to ask you.", "Have you ever heard anything from your father's\nkinsfolk, the Eyres?\"", "\"Never in my life.\"", "\"Well, you know Missis always said they were poor and quite despicable:\nand they may be poor; but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds\nare; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead\nand wanted to see you; Missis said you were at school fifty miles off; he\nseemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay: he was going on a\nvoyage to a foreign country, and the ship was to sail from London in a\nday or two.", "He looked quite a gentleman, and I believe he was your\nfather's brother.\"", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued superintendent\nof the seminary: to her instruction I owed the best part of my\nacquirements; her friendship and society had been my continual solace;\nshe had stood me in the stead of mother, governess, and, latterly,\ncompanion.", "It seemed as if,\ncould I but go back to the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood\nat the window, some inventive suggestion would rise for my relief.", "Any one\nmay serve: I have served here eight years; now all I want is to serve\nelsewhere.", "Having sought and obtained an audience of the superintendent during the\nnoontide recreation, I told her I had a prospect of getting a new\nsituation where the salary would be double what I now received (for at\nLowood I only got 15 pounds per annum); and requested she would break the\nmatter for me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee, and\nascertain whether they would permit me to mention them as references.", "\"That is my little boy,\" said Bessie directly.", "She went up to London last winter with her mama, and there\neverybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her: but his\nrelations were against the match; and--what do you think?--he and Miss\nGeorgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped.", "\"I dare say you are clever, though,\" continued Bessie, by way of solace.", "It was a landscape\nin water colours, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in\nacknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf,\nand which she had framed and glazed.", "\"Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it.\"", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"" ]

[ "There was something I\nwanted to ask you.", "I had\nnot a very large wardrobe, though it was adequate to my wants; and the\nlast day sufficed to pack my trunk,--the same I had brought with me eight\nyears ago from Gateshead.", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "\"Never in my life.\"", "I imagined myself only to\nbe regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when my\nreflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that the afternoon\nwas gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawned on me,\nnamely, that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process; that\nmy mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple--or rather that\nshe had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her\nvicinity--and that now I was left in my natural element, and beginning to\nfeel the stirring of old emotions.", "It is as fine a picture as any Miss\nReed's drawing-master could paint, let alone the young ladies themselves,\nwho could not come near it: and have you learnt French?\"", "\"Well, you know Missis always said they were poor and quite despicable:\nand they may be poor; but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds\nare; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead\nand wanted to see you; Missis said you were at school fifty miles off; he\nseemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay: he was going on a\nvoyage to a foreign country, and the ship was to sail from London in a\nday or two.", "Even when we\nfinally retired for the night, the inevitable Miss Gryce was still my\ncompanion: we had only a short end of candle in our candlestick, and I\ndreaded lest she should talk till it was all burnt out; fortunately,\nhowever, the heavy supper she had eaten produced a soporific effect: she\nwas already snoring before I had finished undressing.", "Bessie!", "\"What do I want?" ]

[ "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out." ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "\n\nA new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and\nwhen I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a\nroom in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on\nthe walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such\nornaments on the mantelpiece, such prints, including a portrait of George\nthe Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of\nthe death of Wolfe.", "All this is visible to you by the light of an oil\nlamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near\nwhich I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the\ntable, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen\nhours' exposure to the rawness of an October day: I left Lowton at four\no'clock a.m., and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight.", "Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in\nmy mind.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter\nif any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the\nnegative: so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private\nroom: and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are\ntroubling my thoughts.", "It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself\nquite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain\nwhether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by\nmany impediments from returning to that it has quitted.", "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "I bethought myself to ring\nthe bell.", "\"Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield?\"", "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "\"Thornfield?", "I don't know, ma'am; I'll inquire at the bar.\"", "He\nvanished, but reappeared instantly--\n\n\"Is your name Eyre, Miss?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Person here waiting for you.\"", "I jumped up, took my muff and umbrella, and hastened into the\ninn-passage: a man was standing by the open door, and in the lamp-lit\nstreet I dimly saw a one-horse conveyance.", "\"This will be your luggage, I suppose?\"", "said the man rather abruptly when\nhe saw me, pointing to my trunk in the passage.", "\"Yes.\"", "He hoisted it on to the vehicle, which was a sort of car, and\nthen I got in; before he shut me up, I asked him how far it was to\nThornfield.", "\"A matter of six miles.\"", "\"How long shall we be before we get there?\"", "\"Happen an hour and a half.\"", "He fastened the car door, climbed to his own seat outside, and we set\noff.", "Our progress was leisurely, and gave me ample time to reflect; I\nwas content to be at length so near the end of my journey; and as I\nleaned back in the comfortable though not elegant conveyance, I meditated\nmuch at my ease.", "\"I suppose,\" thought I, \"judging from the plainness of the servant and\ncarriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not a very dashing person: so much the better;\nI never lived amongst fine people but once, and I was very miserable with\nthem.", "I wonder if she lives alone except this little girl; if so, and if\nshe is in any degree amiable, I shall surely be able to get on with her;\nI will do my best; it is a pity that doing one's best does not always\nanswer.", "At Lowood, indeed, I took that resolution, kept it, and\nsucceeded in pleasing; but with Mrs. Reed, I remember my best was always\nspurned with scorn.", "I pray God Mrs. Fairfax may not turn out a second\nMrs. Reed; but if she does, I am not bound to stay with her!", "let the\nworst come to the worst, I can advertise again.", "How far are we on our\nroad now, I wonder?\"", "I let down the window and looked out; Millcote was behind us; judging by\nthe number of its lights, it seemed a place of considerable magnitude,\nmuch larger than Lowton.", "We were now, as far as I could see, on a sort\nof common; but there were houses scattered all over the district; I felt\nwe were in a different region to Lowood, more populous, less picturesque;\nmore stirring, less romantic.", "The roads were heavy, the night misty; my conductor let his horse walk\nall the way, and the hour and a half extended, I verily believe, to two\nhours; at last he turned in his seat and said--\n\n\"You're noan so far fro' Thornfield now.\"", "Again I looked out: we were passing a church; I saw its low broad tower\nagainst the sky, and its bell was tolling a quarter; I saw a narrow\ngalaxy of lights too, on a hillside, marking a village or hamlet.", "About\nten minutes after, the driver got down and opened a pair of gates: we\npassed through, and they clashed to behind us.", "We now slowly ascended a\ndrive, and came upon the long front of a house: candlelight gleamed from\none curtained bow-window; all the rest were dark.", "The car stopped at the\nfront door; it was opened by a maid-servant; I alighted and went in.", "\"Will you walk this way, ma'am?\"", "said the girl; and I followed her across\na square hall with high doors all round: she ushered me into a room whose\ndouble illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled me, contrasting\nas it did with the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours\ninured; when I could see, however, a cosy and agreeable picture presented\nitself to my view.", "A snug small room; a round table by a cheerful fire; an arm-chair high-\nbacked and old-fashioned, wherein sat the neatest imaginable little\nelderly lady, in widow's cap, black silk gown, and snowy muslin apron;\nexactly like what I had fancied Mrs. Fairfax, only less stately and\nmilder looking.", "She was occupied in knitting; a large cat sat demurely\nat her feet; nothing in short was wanting to complete the beau-ideal of\ndomestic comfort.", "A more reassuring introduction for a new governess\ncould scarcely be conceived; there was no grandeur to overwhelm, no\nstateliness to embarrass; and then, as I entered, the old lady got up and\npromptly and kindly came forward to meet me.", "\"How do you do, my dear?", "I am afraid you have had a tedious ride; John\ndrives so slowly; you must be cold, come to the fire.\"", "\"Mrs. Fairfax, I suppose?\"", "said I.", "\"Yes, you are right: do sit down.\"", "She conducted me to her own chair, and then began to remove my shawl and\nuntie my bonnet-strings; I begged she would not give herself so much\ntrouble.", "\"Oh, it is no trouble; I dare say your own hands are almost numbed with\ncold.", "Leah, make a little hot negus and cut a sandwich or two: here are\nthe keys of the storeroom.\"", "And she produced from her pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys, and\ndelivered them to the servant.", "\"Now, then, draw nearer to the fire,\" she continued.", "\"You've brought\nyour luggage with you, haven't you, my dear?\"", "\"Yes, ma'am.\"", "\"I'll see it carried into your room,\" she said, and bustled out.", "\"She treats me like a visitor,\" thought I.", "\"I little expected such a\nreception; I anticipated only coldness and stiffness: this is not like\nwhat I have heard of the treatment of governesses; but I must not exult\ntoo soon.\"", "She returned; with her own hands cleared her knitting apparatus and a\nbook or two from the table, to make room for the tray which Leah now\nbrought, and then herself handed me the refreshments.", "I felt rather\nconfused at being the object of more attention than I had ever before\nreceived, and, that too, shown by my employer and superior; but as she\ndid not herself seem to consider she was doing anything out of her place,\nI thought it better to take her civilities quietly.", "\"Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to-night?\"", "I asked,\nwhen I had partaken of what she offered me.", "\"What did you say, my dear?", "I am a little deaf,\" returned the good lady,\napproaching her ear to my mouth.", "I repeated the question more distinctly.", "\"Miss Fairfax?", "Oh, you mean Miss Varens!", "Varens is the name of your\nfuture pupil.\"", "\"Indeed!", "Then she is not your daughter?\"", "\"No,--I have no family.\"", "I should have followed up my first inquiry, by asking in what way Miss\nVarens was connected with her; but I recollected it was not polite to ask\ntoo many questions: besides, I was sure to hear in time.", "\"I am so glad,\" she continued, as she sat down opposite to me, and took\nthe cat on her knee; \"I am so glad you are come; it will be quite\npleasant living here now with a companion.", "To be sure it is pleasant at\nany time; for Thornfield is a fine old hall, rather neglected of late\nyears perhaps, but still it is a respectable place; yet you know in\nwinter-time one feels dreary quite alone in the best quarters.", "I say\nalone--Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John and his wife are very\ndecent people; but then you see they are only servants, and one can't\nconverse with them on terms of equality: one must keep them at due\ndistance, for fear of losing one's authority.", "I'm sure last winter (it\nwas a very severe one, if you recollect, and when it did not snow, it\nrained and blew), not a creature but the butcher and postman came to the\nhouse, from November till February; and I really got quite melancholy\nwith sitting night after night alone; I had Leah in to read to me\nsometimes; but I don't think the poor girl liked the task much: she felt\nit confining.", "In spring and summer one got on better: sunshine and long\ndays make such a difference; and then, just at the commencement of this\nautumn, little Adela Varens came and her nurse: a child makes a house\nalive all at once; and now you are here I shall be quite gay.\"", "My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew\nmy chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she\nmight find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.", "\"But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night,\" said she; \"it is on the\nstroke of twelve now, and you have been travelling all day: you must feel\ntired.", "If you have got your feet well warmed, I'll show you your\nbedroom.", "I've had the room next to mine prepared for you; it is only a\nsmall apartment, but I thought you would like it better than one of the\nlarge front chambers: to be sure they have finer furniture, but they are\nso dreary and solitary, I never sleep in them myself.\"", "I thanked her for her considerate choice, and as I really felt fatigued\nwith my long journey, expressed my readiness to retire.", "She took her\ncandle, and I followed her from the room.", "First she went to see if the\nhall-door was fastened; having taken the key from the lock, she led the\nway upstairs.", "The steps and banisters were of oak; the staircase window\nwas high and latticed; both it and the long gallery into which the\nbedroom doors opened looked as if they belonged to a church rather than a\nhouse.", "A very chill and vault-like air pervaded the stairs and gallery,\nsuggesting cheerless ideas of space and solitude; and I was glad, when\nfinally ushered into my chamber, to find it of small dimensions, and\nfurnished in ordinary, modern style.", "When Mrs. Fairfax had bidden me a kind good-night, and I had fastened my\ndoor, gazed leisurely round, and in some measure effaced the eerie\nimpression made by that wide hall, that dark and spacious staircase, and\nthat long, cold gallery, by the livelier aspect of my little room, I\nremembered that, after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety, I was\nnow at last in safe haven.", "The impulse of gratitude swelled my heart,\nand I knelt down at the bedside, and offered up thanks where thanks were\ndue; not forgetting, ere I rose, to implore aid on my further path, and\nthe power of meriting the kindness which seemed so frankly offered me\nbefore it was earned.", "My couch had no thorns in it that night; my\nsolitary room no fears.", "At once weary and content, I slept soon and\nsoundly: when I awoke it was broad day.", "The chamber looked such a bright little place to me as the sun shone in\nbetween the gay blue chintz window curtains, showing papered walls and a\ncarpeted floor, so unlike the bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood,\nthat my spirits rose at the view.", "Externals have a great effect on the\nyoung: I thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for me, one that\nwas to have its flowers and pleasures, as well as its thorns and toils.", "My faculties, roused by the change of scene, the new field offered to\nhope, seemed all astir.", "I cannot precisely define what they expected,\nbut it was something pleasant: not perhaps that day or that month, but at\nan indefinite future period.", "I rose; I dressed myself with care: obliged to be plain--for I had no\narticle of attire that was not made with extreme simplicity--I was still\nby nature solicitous to be neat.", "It was not my habit to be disregardful\nof appearance or careless of the impression I made: on the contrary, I\never wished to look as well as I could, and to please as much as my want\nof beauty would permit.", "I sometimes regretted that I was not handsomer;\nI sometimes wished to have rosy cheeks, a straight nose, and small cherry\nmouth; I desired to be tall, stately, and finely developed in figure; I\nfelt it a misfortune that I was so little, so pale, and had features so\nirregular and so marked.", "And why had I these aspirations and these\nregrets?", "It would be difficult to say: I could not then distinctly say\nit to myself; yet I had a reason, and a logical, natural reason too.", "However, when I had brushed my hair very smooth, and put on my black\nfrock--which, Quakerlike as it was, at least had the merit of fitting to\na nicety--and adjusted my clean white tucker, I thought I should do\nrespectably enough to appear before Mrs. Fairfax, and that my new pupil\nwould not at least recoil from me with antipathy.", "Having opened my\nchamber window, and seen that I left all things straight and neat on the\ntoilet table, I ventured forth.", "Traversing the long and matted gallery, I descended the slippery steps of\noak; then I gained the hall: I halted there a minute; I looked at some\npictures on the walls (one, I remember, represented a grim man in a\ncuirass, and one a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace), at a\nbronze lamp pendent from the ceiling, at a great clock whose case was of\noak curiously carved, and ebon black with time and rubbing.", "Everything\nappeared very stately and imposing to me; but then I was so little\naccustomed to grandeur.", "The hall-door, which was half of glass, stood\nopen; I stepped over the threshold.", "It was a fine autumn morning; the\nearly sun shone serenely on embrowned groves and still green fields;\nadvancing on to the lawn, I looked up and surveyed the front of the\nmansion.", "It was three storeys high, of proportions not vast, though\nconsiderable: a gentleman's manor-house, not a nobleman's seat:\nbattlements round the top gave it a picturesque look.", "Its grey front\nstood out well from the background of a rookery, whose cawing tenants\nwere now on the wing: they flew over the lawn and grounds to alight in a\ngreat meadow, from which these were separated by a sunk fence, and where\nan array of mighty old thorn trees, strong, knotty, and broad as oaks, at\nonce explained the etymology of the mansion's designation.", "Farther off\nwere hills: not so lofty as those round Lowood, nor so craggy, nor so\nlike barriers of separation from the living world; but yet quiet and\nlonely hills enough, and seeming to embrace Thornfield with a seclusion I\nhad not expected to find existent so near the stirring locality of\nMillcote.", "A little hamlet, whose roofs were blent with trees, straggled\nup the side of one of these hills; the church of the district stood\nnearer Thornfield: its old tower-top looked over a knoll between the\nhouse and gates.", "I was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant fresh air, yet\nlistening with delight to the cawing of the rooks, yet surveying the\nwide, hoary front of the hall, and thinking what a great place it was for\none lonely little dame like Mrs. Fairfax to inhabit, when that lady\nappeared at the door.", "\"What!", "out already?\"", "said she.", "\"I see you are an early riser.\"", "I went\nup to her, and was received with an affable kiss and shake of the hand.", "\"How do you like Thornfield?\"", "she asked.", "I told her I liked it very\nmuch.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"it is a pretty place; but I fear it will be getting out\nof order, unless Mr. Rochester should take it into his head to come and\nreside here permanently; or, at least, visit it rather oftener: great\nhouses and fine grounds require the presence of the proprietor.\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester!\"", "I exclaimed.", "\"Who is he?\"", "\"The owner of Thornfield,\" she responded quietly.", "\"Did you not know he\nwas called Rochester?\"", "Of course I did not--I had never heard of him before; but the old lady\nseemed to regard his existence as a universally understood fact, with\nwhich everybody must be acquainted by instinct.", "\"I thought,\" I continued, \"Thornfield belonged to you.\"", "\"To me?", "Bless you, child; what an idea!", "To me!", "I am only the\nhousekeeper--the manager.", "To be sure I am distantly related to the\nRochesters by the mother's side, or at least my husband was; he was a\nclergyman, incumbent of Hay--that little village yonder on the hill--and\nthat church near the gates was his.", "The present Mr. Rochester's mother\nwas a Fairfax, and second cousin to my husband: but I never presume on\nthe connection--in fact, it is nothing to me; I consider myself quite in\nthe light of an ordinary housekeeper: my employer is always civil, and I\nexpect nothing more.\"", "\"And the little girl--my pupil!\"", "\"She is Mr. Rochester's ward; he commissioned me to find a governess for\nher.", "He intended to have her brought up in ---shire, I believe.", "Here\nshe comes, with her 'bonne,' as she calls her nurse.\"", "The enigma then\nwas explained: this affable and kind little widow was no great dame; but\na dependant like myself.", "I did not like her the worse for that; on the\ncontrary, I felt better pleased than ever.", "The equality between her and\nme was real; not the mere result of condescension on her part: so much\nthe better--my position was all the freer.", "As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl, followed by her\nattendant, came running up the lawn.", "I looked at my pupil, who did not\nat first appear to notice me: she was quite a child, perhaps seven or\neight years old, slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a\nredundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.", "\"Good morning, Miss Adela,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"", "She\napproached.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "said she, pointing to me, and addressing her\nnurse; who answered--\n\n\"Mais oui, certainement.\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "I inquired, amazed at hearing the French language.", "\"The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the Continent; and, I\nbelieve, never left it till within six months ago.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"", "Fortunately I had had the advantage of being taught French by a French\nlady; and as I had always made a point of conversing with Madame Pierrot\nas often as I could, and had besides, during the last seven years, learnt\na portion of French by heart daily--applying myself to take pains with my\naccent, and imitating as closely as possible the pronunciation of my\nteacher, I had acquired a certain degree of readiness and correctness in\nthe language, and was not likely to be much at a loss with Mademoiselle\nAdela.", "She came and shook hand with me when she heard that I was her\ngoverness; and as I led her in to breakfast, I addressed some phrases to\nher in her own tongue: she replied briefly at first, but after we were\nseated at the table, and she had examined me some ten minutes with her\nlarge hazel eyes, she suddenly commenced chattering fluently.", "\"Ah!\"", "cried she, in French, \"you speak my language as well as Mr.\nRochester does: I can talk to you as I can to him, and so can Sophie.", "She\nwill be glad: nobody here understands her: Madame Fairfax is all English.", "Sophie is my nurse; she came with me over the sea in a great ship with a\nchimney that smoked--how it did smoke!--and I was sick, and so was\nSophie, and so was Mr. Rochester.", "Mr. Rochester lay down on a sofa in a\npretty room called the salon, and Sophie and I had little beds in another\nplace.", "I nearly fell out of mine; it was like a shelf.", "And\nMademoiselle--what is your name?\"", "\"Eyre--Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Aire?", "Bah!", "I cannot say it.", "Well, our ship stopped in the morning,\nbefore it was quite daylight, at a great city--a huge city, with very\ndark houses and all smoky; not at all like the pretty clean town I came\nfrom; and Mr. Rochester carried me in his arms over a plank to the land,\nand Sophie came after, and we all got into a coach, which took us to a\nbeautiful large house, larger than this and finer, called an hotel.", "We\nstayed there nearly a week: I and Sophie used to walk every day in a\ngreat green place full of trees, called the Park; and there were many\nchildren there besides me, and a pond with beautiful birds in it, that I\nfed with crumbs.\"", "\"Can you understand her when she runs on so fast?\"", "asked Mrs. Fairfax.", "I understood her very well, for I had been accustomed to the fluent\ntongue of Madame Pierrot.", "\"I wish,\" continued the good lady, \"you would ask her a question or two\nabout her parents: I wonder if she remembers them?\"", "\"Adele,\" I inquired, \"with whom did you live when you were in that pretty\nclean town you spoke of?\"", "\"I lived long ago with mama; but she is gone to the Holy Virgin.", "Mama\nused to teach me to dance and sing, and to say verses.", "A great many\ngentlemen and ladies came to see mama, and I used to dance before them,\nor to sit on their knees and sing to them: I liked it.", "Shall I let you\nhear me sing now?\"", "She had finished her breakfast, so I permitted her to give a specimen of\nher accomplishments.", "Descending from her chair, she came and placed\nherself on my knee; then, folding her little hands demurely before her,\nshaking back her curls and lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced\nsinging a song from some opera.", "It was the strain of a forsaken lady,\nwho, after bewailing the perfidy of her lover, calls pride to her aid;\ndesires her attendant to deck her in her brightest jewels and richest\nrobes, and resolves to meet the false one that night at a ball, and prove\nto him, by the gaiety of her demeanour, how little his desertion has\naffected her.", "The subject seemed strangely chosen for an infant singer; but I suppose\nthe point of the exhibition lay in hearing the notes of love and jealousy\nwarbled with the lisp of childhood; and in very bad taste that point was:\nat least I thought so.", "Adele sang the canzonette tunefully enough, and with the _naivete_ of her\nage.", "This achieved, she jumped from my knee and said, \"Now,\nMademoiselle, I will repeat you some poetry.\"", "Assuming an attitude, she began, \"La Ligue des Rats: fable de La\nFontaine.\"", "She then declaimed the little piece with an attention to\npunctuation and emphasis, a flexibility of voice and an appropriateness\nof gesture, very unusual indeed at her age, and which proved she had been\ncarefully trained.", "\"Was it your mama who taught you that piece?\"", "I asked.", "\"Yes, and she just used to say it in this way: 'Qu' avez vous donc?", "lui\ndit un de ces rats; parlez!'", "She made me lift my hand--so--to remind me\nto raise my voice at the question.", "Now shall I dance for you?\"", "\"No, that will do: but after your mama went to the Holy Virgin, as you\nsay, with whom did you live then?\"", "\"With Madame Frederic and her husband: she took care of me, but she is\nnothing related to me.", "I think she is poor, for she had not so fine a\nhouse as mama.", "I was not long there.", "Mr. Rochester asked me if I would\nlike to go and live with him in England, and I said yes; for I knew Mr.\nRochester before I knew Madame Frederic, and he was always kind to me and\ngave me pretty dresses and toys: but you see he has not kept his word,\nfor he has brought me to England, and now he is gone back again himself,\nand I never see him.\"", "After breakfast, Adele and I withdrew to the library, which room, it\nappears, Mr. Rochester had directed should be used as the schoolroom.", "Most of the books were locked up behind glass doors; but there was one\nbookcase left open containing everything that could be needed in the way\nof elementary works, and several volumes of light literature, poetry,\nbiography, travels, a few romances, &c. I suppose he had considered that\nthese were all the governess would require for her private perusal; and,\nindeed, they contented me amply for the present; compared with the scanty\npickings I had now and then been able to glean at Lowood, they seemed to\noffer an abundant harvest of entertainment and information.", "In this\nroom, too, there was a cabinet piano, quite new and of superior tone;\nalso an easel for painting and a pair of globes.", "I found my pupil sufficiently docile, though disinclined to apply: she\nhad not been used to regular occupation of any kind.", "I felt it would be\ninjudicious to confine her too much at first; so, when I had talked to\nher a great deal, and got her to learn a little, and when the morning had\nadvanced to noon, I allowed her to return to her nurse.", "I then proposed\nto occupy myself till dinner-time in drawing some little sketches for her\nuse.", "As I was going upstairs to fetch my portfolio and pencils, Mrs. Fairfax\ncalled to me: \"Your morning school-hours are over now, I suppose,\" said\nshe.", "She was in a room the folding-doors of which stood open: I went in\nwhen she addressed me.", "It was a large, stately apartment, with purple\nchairs and curtains, a Turkey carpet, walnut-panelled walls, one vast\nwindow rich in slanted glass, and a lofty ceiling, nobly moulded.", "Mrs.\nFairfax was dusting some vases of fine purple spar, which stood on a\nsideboard.", "\"What a beautiful room!\"", "I exclaimed, as I looked round; for I had never\nbefore seen any half so imposing.", "\"Yes; this is the dining-room.", "I have just opened the window, to let in\na little air and sunshine; for everything gets so damp in apartments that\nare seldom inhabited; the drawing-room yonder feels like a vault.\"", "She pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the window, and hung like it\nwith a Tyrian-dyed curtain, now looped up.", "Mounting to it by two broad\nsteps, and looking through, I thought I caught a glimpse of a fairy\nplace, so bright to my novice-eyes appeared the view beyond.", "Yet it was\nmerely a very pretty drawing-room, and within it a boudoir, both spread\nwith white carpets, on which seemed laid brilliant garlands of flowers;\nboth ceiled with snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine-leaves, beneath\nwhich glowed in rich contrast crimson couches and ottomans; while the\nornaments on the pale Parian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian\nglass, ruby red; and between the windows large mirrors repeated the\ngeneral blending of snow and fire.", "\"In what order you keep these rooms, Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "said I.", "\"No dust, no\ncanvas coverings: except that the air feels chilly, one would think they\nwere inhabited daily.\"", "\"Why, Miss Eyre, though Mr. Rochester's visits here are rare, they are\nalways sudden and unexpected; and as I observed that it put him out to\nfind everything swathed up, and to have a bustle of arrangement on his\narrival, I thought it best to keep the rooms in readiness.\"", "\"Is Mr. Rochester an exacting, fastidious sort of man?\"", "\"Not particularly so; but he has a gentleman's tastes and habits, and he\nexpects to have things managed in conformity to them.\"", "\"Do you like him?", "Is he generally liked?\"", "\"Oh, yes; the family have always been respected here.", "Almost all the\nland in this neighbourhood, as far as you can see, has belonged to the\nRochesters time out of mind.\"", "\"Well, but, leaving his land out of the question, do you like him?", "Is he\nliked for himself?\"", "\"I have no cause to do otherwise than like him; and I believe he is\nconsidered a just and liberal landlord by his tenants: but he has never\nlived much amongst them.\"", "\"But has he no peculiarities?", "What, in short, is his character?\"", "\"Oh!", "his character is unimpeachable, I suppose.", "He is rather peculiar,\nperhaps: he has travelled a great deal, and seen a great deal of the\nworld, I should think.", "I dare say he is clever, but I never had much\nconversation with him.\"", "\"In what way is he peculiar?\"", "\"I don't know--it is not easy to describe--nothing striking, but you feel\nit when he speaks to you; you cannot be always sure whether he is in jest\nor earnest, whether he is pleased or the contrary; you don't thoroughly\nunderstand him, in short--at least, I don't: but it is of no consequence,\nhe is a very good master.\"", "This was all the account I got from Mrs. Fairfax of her employer and\nmine.", "There are people who seem to have no notion of sketching a\ncharacter, or observing and describing salient points, either in persons\nor things: the good lady evidently belonged to this class; my queries\npuzzled, but did not draw her out.", "Mr. Rochester was Mr. Rochester in\nher eyes; a gentleman, a landed proprietor--nothing more: she inquired\nand searched no further, and evidently wondered at my wish to gain a more\ndefinite notion of his identity.", "When we left the dining-room, she proposed to show me over the rest of\nthe house; and I followed her upstairs and downstairs, admiring as I\nwent; for all was well arranged and handsome.", "The large front chambers I\nthought especially grand: and some of the third-storey rooms, though dark\nand low, were interesting from their air of antiquity.", "The furniture\nonce appropriated to the lower apartments had from time to time been\nremoved here, as fashions changed: and the imperfect light entering by\ntheir narrow casement showed bedsteads of a hundred years old; chests in\noak or walnut, looking, with their strange carvings of palm branches and\ncherubs' heads, like types of the Hebrew ark; rows of venerable chairs,\nhigh-backed and narrow; stools still more antiquated, on whose cushioned\ntops were yet apparent traces of half-effaced embroideries, wrought by\nfingers that for two generations had been coffin-dust.", "All these relics\ngave to the third storey of Thornfield Hall the aspect of a home of the\npast: a shrine of memory.", "I liked the hush, the gloom, the quaintness of\nthese retreats in the day; but I by no means coveted a night's repose on\none of those wide and heavy beds: shut in, some of them, with doors of\noak; shaded, others, with wrought old English hangings crusted with thick\nwork, portraying effigies of strange flowers, and stranger birds, and\nstrangest human beings,--all which would have looked strange, indeed, by\nthe pallid gleam of moonlight.", "\"Do the servants sleep in these rooms?\"", "I asked.", "\"No; they occupy a range of smaller apartments to the back; no one ever\nsleeps here: one would almost say that, if there were a ghost at\nThornfield Hall, this would be its haunt.\"", "\"So I think: you have no ghost, then?\"", "\"None that I ever heard of,\" returned Mrs. Fairfax, smiling.", "\"Nor any traditions of one?", "no legends or ghost stories?\"", "\"I believe not.", "And yet it is said the Rochesters have been rather a\nviolent than a quiet race in their time: perhaps, though, that is the\nreason they rest tranquilly in their graves now.\"", "\"Yes--'after life's fitful fever they sleep well,'\" I muttered.", "\"Where\nare you going now, Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "for she was moving away.", "\"On to the leads; will you come and see the view from thence?\"", "I\nfollowed still, up a very narrow staircase to the attics, and thence by a\nladder and through a trap-door to the roof of the hall.", "I was now on a\nlevel with the crow colony, and could see into their nests.", "Leaning over\nthe battlements and looking far down, I surveyed the grounds laid out\nlike a map: the bright and velvet lawn closely girdling the grey base of\nthe mansion; the field, wide as a park, dotted with its ancient timber;\nthe wood, dun and sere, divided by a path visibly overgrown, greener with\nmoss than the trees were with foliage; the church at the gates, the road,\nthe tranquil hills, all reposing in the autumn day's sun; the horizon\nbounded by a propitious sky, azure, marbled with pearly white.", "No\nfeature in the scene was extraordinary, but all was pleasing.", "When I\nturned from it and repassed the trap-door, I could scarcely see my way\ndown the ladder; the attic seemed black as a vault compared with that\narch of blue air to which I had been looking up, and to that sunlit scene\nof grove, pasture, and green hill, of which the hall was the centre, and\nover which I had been gazing with delight.", "Mrs. Fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap-door; I, by drift\nof groping, found the outlet from the attic, and proceeded to descend the\nnarrow garret staircase.", "I lingered in the long passage to which this\nled, separating the front and back rooms of the third storey: narrow,\nlow, and dim, with only one little window at the far end, and looking,\nwith its two rows of small black doors all shut, like a corridor in some\nBluebeard's castle.", "While I paced softly on, the last sound I expected to hear in so still a\nregion, a laugh, struck my ear.", "It was a curious laugh; distinct,\nformal, mirthless.", "I stopped: the sound ceased, only for an instant; it\nbegan again, louder: for at first, though distinct, it was very low.", "It\npassed off in a clamorous peal that seemed to wake an echo in every\nlonely chamber; though it originated but in one, and I could have pointed\nout the door whence the accents issued.", "\"Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "I called out: for I now heard her descending the great\nstairs.", "\"Did you hear that loud laugh?", "Who is it?\"", "\"Some of the servants, very likely,\" she answered: \"perhaps Grace Poole.\"", "\"Did you hear it?\"", "I again inquired.", "\"Yes, plainly: I often hear her: she sews in one of these rooms.", "Sometimes Leah is with her; they are frequently noisy together.\"", "The laugh was repeated in its low, syllabic tone, and terminated in an\nodd murmur.", "\"Grace!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax.", "I really did not expect any Grace to answer; for the laugh was as tragic,\nas preternatural a laugh as any I ever heard; and, but that it was high\nnoon, and that no circumstance of ghostliness accompanied the curious\ncachinnation; but that neither scene nor season favoured fear, I should\nhave been superstitiously afraid.", "However, the event showed me I was a\nfool for entertaining a sense even of surprise.", "The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out,--a woman of between\nthirty and forty; a set, square-made figure, red-haired, and with a hard,\nplain face: any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely\nbe conceived.", "\"Too much noise, Grace,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Remember directions!\"", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "\"She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her housemaid's work,\"\ncontinued the widow; \"not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but\nshe does well enough.", "By-the-bye, how have you got on with your new\npupil this morning?\"", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below.", "Adele came running to meet us in the\nhall, exclaiming--\n\n\"Mesdames, vous etes servies!\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in Mrs. Fairfax's room." ]

[ "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "\"This will be your luggage, I suppose?\"", "\"She treats me like a visitor,\" thought I.", "My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew\nmy chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she\nmight find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.", "And why had I these aspirations and these\nregrets?", "\"Did you not know he\nwas called Rochester?\"", "\"Eyre--Jane Eyre.\"", "\"In what order you keep these rooms, Mrs.", "\"No dust, no\ncanvas coverings: except that the air feels chilly, one would think they\nwere inhabited daily.\"", "\"But has he no peculiarities?" ]

[ "Its grey front\nstood out well from the background of a rookery, whose cawing tenants\nwere now on the wing: they flew over the lawn and grounds to alight in a\ngreat meadow, from which these were separated by a sunk fence, and where\nan array of mighty old thorn trees, strong, knotty, and broad as oaks, at\nonce explained the etymology of the mansion's designation.", "I cannot precisely define what they expected,\nbut it was something pleasant: not perhaps that day or that month, but at\nan indefinite future period.", "I repeated the question more distinctly.", "I let down the window and looked out; Millcote was behind us; judging by\nthe number of its lights, it seemed a place of considerable magnitude,\nmuch larger than Lowton.", "\"What a beautiful room!\"", "Everything\nappeared very stately and imposing to me; but then I was so little\naccustomed to grandeur.", "I went\nup to her, and was received with an affable kiss and shake of the hand.", "I think she is poor, for she had not so fine a\nhouse as mama.", "\"How do you like Thornfield?\"", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"" ]

[ "As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl, followed by her\nattendant, came running up the lawn.", "I looked at my pupil, who did not\nat first appear to notice me: she was quite a child, perhaps seven or\neight years old, slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a\nredundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.", "\"Good morning, Miss Adela,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"", "She\napproached.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "said she, pointing to me, and addressing her\nnurse; who answered--\n\n\"Mais oui, certainement.\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "I inquired, amazed at hearing the French language.", "\"The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the Continent; and, I\nbelieve, never left it till within six months ago.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"" ]

[ "\n\nA new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and\nwhen I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a\nroom in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on\nthe walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such\nornaments on the mantelpiece, such prints, including a portrait of George\nthe Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of\nthe death of Wolfe.", "All this is visible to you by the light of an oil\nlamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near\nwhich I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the\ntable, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen\nhours' exposure to the rawness of an October day: I left Lowton at four\no'clock a.m., and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight.", "Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in\nmy mind.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter\nif any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the\nnegative: so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private\nroom: and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are\ntroubling my thoughts.", "It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself\nquite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain\nwhether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by\nmany impediments from returning to that it has quitted.", "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "I bethought myself to ring\nthe bell.", "\"Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield?\"", "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out,--a woman of between\nthirty and forty; a set, square-made figure, red-haired, and with a hard,\nplain face: any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely\nbe conceived.", "\"Too much noise, Grace,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Remember directions!\"", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "\"She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her housemaid's work,\"\ncontinued the widow; \"not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but\nshe does well enough.", "By-the-bye, how have you got on with your new\npupil this morning?\"", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below.", "Adele came running to meet us in the\nhall, exclaiming--\n\n\"Mesdames, vous etes servies!\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in Mrs. Fairfax's room." ]

[ "\n\nThe promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to\nThornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance\nwith the place and its inmates.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "My pupil was a lively child, who had been\nspoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was\ncommitted entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from any\nquarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her\nlittle freaks, and became obedient and teachable.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious,\nthough perhaps not very profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay\nprattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of\nattachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.", "This, _par parenthese_, will be thought cool language by persons who\nentertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the\nduty of those charged with their education to conceive for them an\nidolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to\necho cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth.", "I felt a\nconscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare and progress, and a quiet\nliking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a\nthankfulness for her kindness, and a pleasure in her society\nproportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation\nof her mind and character.", "Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then,\nwhen I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the\ngates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adele played\nwith her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed\nthe three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having\nreached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and\nalong dim sky-line--that then I longed for a power of vision which might\noverpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions\nfull of life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of\npractical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind,\nof acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach.", "I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I\nbelieved in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and\nwhat I believed in I wished to behold.", "Who blames me?", "Many, no doubt; and I shall be called discontented.", "I\ncould not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to\npain sometimes.", "Then my sole relief was to walk along the corridor of\nthe third storey, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and\nsolitude of the spot, and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright\nvisions rose before it--and, certainly, they were many and glowing; to\nlet my heart be heaved by the exultant movement, which, while it swelled\nit in trouble, expanded it with life; and, best of all, to open my inward\near to a tale that was never ended--a tale my imagination created, and\nnarrated continuously; quickened with all of incident, life, fire,\nfeeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence.", "It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with\ntranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot\nfind it.", "Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and\nmillions are in silent revolt against their lot.", "Nobody knows how many\nrebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life\nwhich people earth.", "Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but\nwomen feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and\na field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from\ntoo rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would\nsuffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures\nto say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and\nknitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags.", "It is\nthoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or\nlearn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.", "When thus alone, I not unfrequently heard Grace Poole's laugh: the same\npeal, the same low, slow ha!", "ha!", "which, when first heard, had thrilled\nme: I heard, too, her eccentric murmurs; stranger than her laugh.", "There\nwere days when she was quite silent; but there were others when I could\nnot account for the sounds she made.", "Sometimes I saw her: she would come\nout of her room with a basin, or a plate, or a tray in her hand, go down\nto the kitchen and shortly return, generally (oh, romantic reader,\nforgive me for telling the plain truth!)", "bearing a pot of porter.", "Her\nappearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by her oral\noddities: hard-featured and staid, she had no point to which interest\ncould attach.", "I made some attempts to draw her into conversation, but\nshe seemed a person of few words: a monosyllabic reply usually cut short\nevery effort of that sort.", "The other members of the household, viz., John and his wife, Leah the\nhousemaid, and Sophie the French nurse, were decent people; but in no\nrespect remarkable; with Sophie I used to talk French, and sometimes I\nasked her questions about her native country; but she was not of a\ndescriptive or narrative turn, and generally gave such vapid and confused\nanswers as were calculated rather to check than encourage inquiry.", "October, November, December passed away.", "One afternoon in January, Mrs.\nFairfax had begged a holiday for Adele, because she had a cold; and, as\nAdele seconded the request with an ardour that reminded me how precious\noccasional holidays had been to me in my own childhood, I accorded it,\ndeeming that I did well in showing pliability on the point.", "It was a\nfine, calm day, though very cold; I was tired of sitting still in the\nlibrary through a whole long morning: Mrs. Fairfax had just written a\nletter which was waiting to be posted, so I put on my bonnet and cloak\nand volunteered to carry it to Hay; the distance, two miles, would be a\npleasant winter afternoon walk.", "Having seen Adele comfortably seated in\nher little chair by Mrs. Fairfax's parlour fireside, and given her her\nbest wax doll (which I usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a\ndrawer) to play with, and a story-book for change of amusement; and\nhaving replied to her \"Revenez bientot, ma bonne amie, ma chere Mdlle.", "Jeannette,\" with a kiss I set out.", "The ground was hard, the air was still, my road was lonely; I walked fast\ntill I got warm, and then I walked slowly to enjoy and analyse the\nspecies of pleasure brooding for me in the hour and situation.", "It was\nthree o'clock; the church bell tolled as I passed under the belfry: the\ncharm of the hour lay in its approaching dimness, in the low-gliding and\npale-beaming sun.", "I was a mile from Thornfield, in a lane noted for wild\nroses in summer, for nuts and blackberries in autumn, and even now\npossessing a few coral treasures in hips and haws, but whose best winter\ndelight lay in its utter solitude and leafless repose.", "If a breath of\nair stirred, it made no sound here; for there was not a holly, not an\nevergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as\nstill as the white, worn stones which causewayed the middle of the path.", "Far and wide, on each side, there were only fields, where no cattle now\nbrowsed; and the little brown birds, which stirred occasionally in the\nhedge, looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop.", "This lane inclined up-hill all the way to Hay; having reached the middle,\nI sat down on a stile which led thence into a field.", "Gathering my mantle\nabout me, and sheltering my hands in my muff, I did not feel the cold,\nthough it froze keenly; as was attested by a sheet of ice covering the\ncauseway, where a little brooklet, now congealed, had overflowed after a\nrapid thaw some days since.", "From my seat I could look down on\nThornfield: the grey and battlemented hall was the principal object in\nthe vale below me; its woods and dark rookery rose against the west.", "I\nlingered till the sun went down amongst the trees, and sank crimson and\nclear behind them.", "I then turned eastward.", "On the hill-top above me sat the rising moon; pale yet as a cloud, but\nbrightening momentarily, she looked over Hay, which, half lost in trees,\nsent up a blue smoke from its few chimneys: it was yet a mile distant,\nbut in the absolute hush I could hear plainly its thin murmurs of life.", "My ear, too, felt the flow of currents; in what dales and depths I could\nnot tell: but there were many hills beyond Hay, and doubtless many becks\nthreading their passes.", "That evening calm betrayed alike the tinkle of\nthe nearest streams, the sough of the most remote.", "A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and whisperings, at once so\nfar away and so clear: a positive tramp, tramp, a metallic clatter, which\neffaced the soft wave-wanderings; as, in a picture, the solid mass of a\ncrag, or the rough boles of a great oak, drawn in dark and strong on the\nforeground, efface the aerial distance of azure hill, sunny horizon, and\nblended clouds where tint melts into tint.", "The din was on the causeway: a horse was coming; the windings of the lane\nyet hid it, but it approached.", "I was just leaving the stile; yet, as the\npath was narrow, I sat still to let it go by.", "In those days I was young,\nand all sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted my mind: the memories\nof nursery stories were there amongst other rubbish; and when they\nrecurred, maturing youth added to them a vigour and vividness beyond what\nchildhood could give.", "As this horse approached, and as I watched for it\nto appear through the dusk, I remembered certain of Bessie's tales,\nwherein figured a North-of-England spirit called a \"Gytrash,\" which, in\nthe form of horse, mule, or large dog, haunted solitary ways, and\nsometimes came upon belated travellers, as this horse was now coming upon\nme.", "It was very near, but not yet in sight; when, in addition to the tramp,\ntramp, I heard a rush under the hedge, and close down by the hazel stems\nglided a great dog, whose black and white colour made him a distinct\nobject against the trees.", "It was exactly one form of Bessie's Gytrash--a\nlion-like creature with long hair and a huge head: it passed me, however,\nquietly enough; not staying to look up, with strange pretercanine eyes,\nin my face, as I half expected it would.", "The horse followed,--a tall\nsteed, and on its back a rider.", "The man, the human being, broke the\nspell at once.", "Nothing ever rode the Gytrash: it was always alone; and\ngoblins, to my notions, though they might tenant the dumb carcasses of\nbeasts, could scarce covet shelter in the commonplace human form.", "No\nGytrash was this,--only a traveller taking the short cut to Millcote.", "He\npassed, and I went on; a few steps, and I turned: a sliding sound and an\nexclamation of \"What the deuce is to do now?\"", "and a clattering tumble,\narrested my attention.", "Man and horse were down; they had slipped on the\nsheet of ice which glazed the causeway.", "The dog came bounding back, and\nseeing his master in a predicament, and hearing the horse groan, barked\ntill the evening hills echoed the sound, which was deep in proportion to\nhis magnitude.", "He snuffed round the prostrate group, and then he ran up\nto me; it was all he could do,--there was no other help at hand to\nsummon.", "I obeyed him, and walked down to the traveller, by this time\nstruggling himself free of his steed.", "His efforts were so vigorous, I\nthought he could not be much hurt; but I asked him the question--\n\n\"Are you injured, sir?\"", "I think he was swearing, but am not certain; however, he was pronouncing\nsome formula which prevented him from replying to me directly.", "\"Can I do anything?\"", "I asked again.", "\"You must just stand on one side,\" he answered as he rose, first to his\nknees, and then to his feet.", "I did; whereupon began a heaving, stamping,\nclattering process, accompanied by a barking and baying which removed me\neffectually some yards' distance; but I would not be driven quite away\ntill I saw the event.", "This was finally fortunate; the horse was\nre-established, and the dog was silenced with a \"Down, Pilot!\"", "The\ntraveller now, stooping, felt his foot and leg, as if trying whether they\nwere sound; apparently something ailed them, for he halted to the stile\nwhence I had just risen, and sat down.", "I was in the mood for being useful, or at least officious, I think, for I\nnow drew near him again.", "\"If you are hurt, and want help, sir, I can fetch some one either from\nThornfield Hall or from Hay.\"", "\"Thank you: I shall do: I have no broken bones,--only a sprain;\" and\nagain he stood up and tried his foot, but the result extorted an\ninvoluntary \"Ugh!\"", "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "I felt\nno fear of him, and but little shyness.", "Had he been a handsome, heroic-\nlooking young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus\nquestioning him against his will, and offering my services unasked.", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I\nhad a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,\nfascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape,\nI should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have\nsympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would\nfire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.", "If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured to me when I\naddressed him; if he had put off my offer of assistance gaily and with\nthanks, I should have gone on my way and not felt any vocation to renew\ninquiries: but the frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my\nease: I retained my station when he waved to me to go, and announced--\n\n\"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour, in this solitary\nlane, till I see you are fit to mount your horse.\"", "He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes in my\ndirection before.", "\"I should think you ought to be at home yourself,\" said he, \"if you have\na home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?\"", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"", "\"You live just below--do you mean at that house with the battlements?\"", "pointing to Thornfield Hall, on which the moon cast a hoary gleam,\nbringing it out distinct and pale from the woods that, by contrast with\nthe western sky, now seemed one mass of shadow.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Whose house is it?\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester's.\"", "\"Do you know Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "\"No, I have never seen him.\"", "\"He is not resident, then?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Can you tell me where he is?\"", "\"I cannot.\"", "\"You are not a servant at the hall, of course.", "You are--\" He stopped,\nran his eye over my dress, which, as usual, was quite simple: a black\nmerino cloak, a black beaver bonnet; neither of them half fine enough for\na lady's-maid.", "He seemed puzzled to decide what I was; I helped him.", "\"I am the governess.\"", "\"Ah, the governess!\"", "he repeated; \"deuce take me, if I had not forgotten!", "The governess!\"", "and again my raiment underwent scrutiny.", "In two minutes\nhe rose from the stile: his face expressed pain when he tried to move.", "\"I cannot commission you to fetch help,\" he said; \"but you may help me a\nlittle yourself, if you will be so kind.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"You have not an umbrella that I can use as a stick?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him to me: you are not\nafraid?\"", "I should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone, but when told to\ndo it, I was disposed to obey.", "I put down my muff on the stile, and went\nup to the tall steed; I endeavoured to catch the bridle, but it was a\nspirited thing, and would not let me come near its head; I made effort on\neffort, though in vain: meantime, I was mortally afraid of its trampling\nfore-feet.", "The traveller waited and watched for some time, and at last\nhe laughed.", "{I was mortally afraid of its trampling forefeet: p107.jpg}\n\n\"I see,\" he said, \"the mountain will never be brought to Mahomet, so all\nyou can do is to aid Mahomet to go to the mountain; I must beg of you to\ncome here.\"", "I came.", "\"Excuse me,\" he continued: \"necessity compels me to make you\nuseful.\"", "He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder, and leaning on me with\nsome stress, limped to his horse.", "Having once caught the bridle, he\nmastered it directly and sprang to his saddle; grimacing grimly as he\nmade the effort, for it wrenched his sprain.", "\"Now,\" said he, releasing his under lip from a hard bite, \"just hand me\nmy whip; it lies there under the hedge.\"", "I sought it and found it.", "\"Thank you; now make haste with the letter to Hay, and return as fast as\nyou can.\"", "A touch of a spurred heel made his horse first start and rear, and then\nbound away; the dog rushed in his traces; all three vanished,\n\n \"Like heath that, in the wilderness,\n The wild wind whirls away.\"", "I took up my muff and walked on.", "The incident had occurred and was gone\nfor me: it _was_ an incident of no moment, no romance, no interest in a\nsense; yet it marked with change one single hour of a monotonous life.", "My\nhelp had been needed and claimed; I had given it: I was pleased to have\ndone something; trivial, transitory though the deed was, it was yet an\nactive thing, and I was weary of an existence all passive.", "The new face,\ntoo, was like a new picture introduced to the gallery of memory; and it\nwas dissimilar to all the others hanging there: firstly, because it was\nmasculine; and, secondly, because it was dark, strong, and stern.", "I had\nit still before me when I entered Hay, and slipped the letter into the\npost-office; I saw it as I walked fast down-hill all the way home.", "When\nI came to the stile, I stopped a minute, looked round and listened, with\nan idea that a horse's hoofs might ring on the causeway again, and that a\nrider in a cloak, and a Gytrash-like Newfoundland dog, might be again\napparent: I saw only the hedge and a pollard willow before me, rising up\nstill and straight to meet the moonbeams; I heard only the faintest waft\nof wind roaming fitful among the trees round Thornfield, a mile distant;\nand when I glanced down in the direction of the murmur, my eye,\ntraversing the hall-front, caught a light kindling in a window: it\nreminded me that I was late, and I hurried on.", "I did not like re-entering Thornfield.", "To pass its threshold was to\nreturn to stagnation; to cross the silent hall, to ascend the darksome\nstaircase, to seek my own lonely little room, and then to meet tranquil\nMrs. Fairfax, and spend the long winter evening with her, and her only,\nwas to quell wholly the faint excitement wakened by my walk,--to slip\nagain over my faculties the viewless fetters of an uniform and too still\nexistence; of an existence whose very privileges of security and ease I\nwas becoming incapable of appreciating.", "What good it would have done me\nat that time to have been tossed in the storms of an uncertain struggling\nlife, and to have been taught by rough and bitter experience to long for\nthe calm amidst which I now repined!", "Yes, just as much good as it would\ndo a man tired of sitting still in a \"too easy chair\" to take a long\nwalk: and just as natural was the wish to stir, under my circumstances,\nas it would be under his.", "I lingered at the gates; I lingered on the lawn; I paced backwards and\nforwards on the pavement; the shutters of the glass door were closed; I\ncould not see into the interior; and both my eyes and spirit seemed drawn\nfrom the gloomy house--from the grey-hollow filled with rayless cells, as\nit appeared to me--to that sky expanded before me,--a blue sea absolved\nfrom taint of cloud; the moon ascending it in solemn march; her orb\nseeming to look up as she left the hill-tops, from behind which she had\ncome, far and farther below her, and aspired to the zenith, midnight dark\nin its fathomless depth and measureless distance; and for those trembling\nstars that followed her course; they made my heart tremble, my veins glow\nwhen I viewed them.", "Little things recall us to earth; the clock struck\nin the hall; that sufficed; I turned from moon and stars, opened a side-\ndoor, and went in.", "The hall was not dark, nor yet was it lit, only by the high-hung bronze\nlamp; a warm glow suffused both it and the lower steps of the oak\nstaircase.", "This ruddy shine issued from the great dining-room, whose two-\nleaved door stood open, and showed a genial fire in the grate, glancing\non marble hearth and brass fire-irons, and revealing purple draperies and\npolished furniture, in the most pleasant radiance.", "It revealed, too, a\ngroup near the mantelpiece: I had scarcely caught it, and scarcely become\naware of a cheerful mingling of voices, amongst which I seemed to\ndistinguish the tones of Adele, when the door closed.", "I hastened to Mrs. Fairfax's room; there was a fire there too, but no\ncandle, and no Mrs. Fairfax.", "Instead, all alone, sitting upright on the\nrug, and gazing with gravity at the blaze, I beheld a great black and\nwhite long-haired dog, just like the Gytrash of the lane.", "It was so like\nit that I went forward and said--\"Pilot\" and the thing got up and came to\nme and snuffed me.", "I caressed him, and he wagged his great tail; but he\nlooked an eerie creature to be alone with, and I could not tell whence he\nhad come.", "I rang the bell, for I wanted a candle; and I wanted, too, to\nget an account of this visitant.", "Leah entered.", "\"What dog is this?\"", "\"He came with master.\"", "\"With whom?\"", "\"With master--Mr. Rochester--he is just arrived.\"", "\"Indeed!", "and is Mrs. Fairfax with him?\"", "\"Yes, and Miss Adele; they are in the dining-room, and John is gone for a\nsurgeon; for master has had an accident; his horse fell and his ankle is\nsprained.\"", "\"Did the horse fall in Hay Lane?\"", "\"Yes, coming down-hill; it slipped on some ice.\"", "\"Ah!", "Bring me a candle will you Leah?\"", "Leah brought it; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax, who repeated the\nnews; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon was come, and was now with Mr.\nRochester: then she hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went\nupstairs to take off my things." ]

[ "Nobody knows how many\nrebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life\nwhich people earth.", "If a breath of\nair stirred, it made no sound here; for there was not a holly, not an\nevergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as\nstill as the white, worn stones which causewayed the middle of the path.", "The horse followed,--a tall\nsteed, and on its back a rider.", "The man, the human being, broke the\nspell at once.", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"", "In two minutes\nhe rose from the stile: his face expressed pain when he tried to move.", "I sought it and found it.", "When\nI came to the stile, I stopped a minute, looked round and listened, with\nan idea that a horse's hoofs might ring on the causeway again, and that a\nrider in a cloak, and a Gytrash-like Newfoundland dog, might be again\napparent: I saw only the hedge and a pollard willow before me, rising up\nstill and straight to meet the moonbeams; I heard only the faintest waft\nof wind roaming fitful among the trees round Thornfield, a mile distant;\nand when I glanced down in the direction of the murmur, my eye,\ntraversing the hall-front, caught a light kindling in a window: it\nreminded me that I was late, and I hurried on.", "Yes, just as much good as it would\ndo a man tired of sitting still in a \"too easy chair\" to take a long\nwalk: and just as natural was the wish to stir, under my circumstances,\nas it would be under his.", "Leah entered." ]

[ "The other members of the household, viz., John and his wife, Leah the\nhousemaid, and Sophie the French nurse, were decent people; but in no\nrespect remarkable; with Sophie I used to talk French, and sometimes I\nasked her questions about her native country; but she was not of a\ndescriptive or narrative turn, and generally gave such vapid and confused\nanswers as were calculated rather to check than encourage inquiry.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "He snuffed round the prostrate group, and then he ran up\nto me; it was all he could do,--there was no other help at hand to\nsummon.", "\"You must just stand on one side,\" he answered as he rose, first to his\nknees, and then to his feet.", "Rochester?\"", "Rochester's.\"", "\"Mr.", "Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and\nmillions are in silent revolt against their lot.", "October, November, December passed away.", "I did; whereupon began a heaving, stamping,\nclattering process, accompanied by a barking and baying which removed me\neffectually some yards' distance; but I would not be driven quite away\ntill I saw the event." ]

[ "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "I felt\nno fear of him, and but little shyness.", "Had he been a handsome, heroic-\nlooking young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus\nquestioning him against his will, and offering my services unasked.", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I\nhad a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,\nfascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape,\nI should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have\nsympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would\nfire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.", "If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured to me when I\naddressed him; if he had put off my offer of assistance gaily and with\nthanks, I should have gone on my way and not felt any vocation to renew\ninquiries: but the frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my\nease: I retained my station when he waved to me to go, and announced--\n\n\"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour, in this solitary\nlane, till I see you are fit to mount your horse.\"", "He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes in my\ndirection before.", "\"I should think you ought to be at home yourself,\" said he, \"if you have\na home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?\"", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to\nThornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance\nwith the place and its inmates.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "My pupil was a lively child, who had been\nspoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was\ncommitted entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from any\nquarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her\nlittle freaks, and became obedient and teachable.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious,\nthough perhaps not very profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay\nprattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of\nattachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.", "This, _par parenthese_, will be thought cool language by persons who\nentertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the\nduty of those charged with their education to conceive for them an\nidolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to\necho cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth.", "I felt a\nconscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare and progress, and a quiet\nliking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a\nthankfulness for her kindness, and a pleasure in her society\nproportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation\nof her mind and character.", "Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then,\nwhen I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the\ngates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adele played\nwith her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed\nthe three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having\nreached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and\nalong dim sky-line--that then I longed for a power of vision which might\noverpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions\nfull of life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of\npractical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind,\nof acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach.", "I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I\nbelieved in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and\nwhat I believed in I wished to behold.", "Who blames me?", "\"With whom?\"", "\"With master--Mr. Rochester--he is just arrived.\"", "\"Indeed!", "and is Mrs. Fairfax with him?\"", "\"Yes, and Miss Adele; they are in the dining-room, and John is gone for a\nsurgeon; for master has had an accident; his horse fell and his ankle is\nsprained.\"", "\"Did the horse fall in Hay Lane?\"", "\"Yes, coming down-hill; it slipped on some ice.\"", "\"Ah!", "Bring me a candle will you Leah?\"", "Leah brought it; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax, who repeated the\nnews; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon was come, and was now with Mr.\nRochester: then she hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went\nupstairs to take off my things." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to bed early that\nnight; nor did he rise soon next morning.", "When he did come down, it was\nto attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived,\nand waiting to speak with him.", "Adele and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily\nrequisition as a reception-room for callers.", "A fire was lit in an\napartment upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for\nthe future schoolroom.", "I discerned in the course of the morning that\nThornfield Hall was a changed place: no longer silent as a church, it\nechoed every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the bell;\nsteps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices spoke in different\nkeys below; a rill from the outer world was flowing through it; it had a\nmaster: for my part, I liked it better.", "Adele was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept\nrunning to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could\nget a glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go\ndownstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library,\nwhere I knew she was not wanted; then, when I got a little angry, and\nmade her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her \"ami,\nMonsieur Edouard Fairfax _de_ Rochester,\" as she dubbed him (I had not\nbefore heard his prenomens), and to conjecture what presents he had\nbrought her: for it appears he had intimated the night before, that when\nhis luggage came from Millcote, there would be found amongst it a little\nbox in whose contents she had an interest.", "\"Et cela doit signifier,\" said she, \"qu'il y aura la dedans un cadeau\npour moi, et peut-etre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.", "Monsieur a parle\nde vous: il m'a demande le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n'etait pas\nune petite personne, assez mince et un peu pale.", "J'ai dit qu'oui: car\nc'est vrai, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?\"", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "At dark I\nallowed Adele to put away books and work, and to run downstairs; for,\nfrom the comparative silence below, and from the cessation of appeals to\nthe door-bell, I conjectured that Mr. Rochester was now at liberty.", "Left\nalone, I walked to the window; but nothing was to be seen thence:\ntwilight and snowflakes together thickened the air, and hid the very\nshrubs on the lawn.", "I let down the curtain and went back to the\nfireside.", "In the clear embers I was tracing a view, not unlike a picture I\nremembered to have seen of the castle of Heidelberg, on the Rhine, when\nMrs. Fairfax came in, breaking up by her entrance the fiery mosaic I had\nbeen piercing together, and scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts\nthat were beginning to throng on my solitude.", "\"Mr. Rochester would be glad if you and your pupil would take tea with\nhim in the drawing-room this evening,\" said she: \"he has been so much\nengaged all day that he could not ask to see you before.\"", "\"When is his tea-time?\"", "I inquired.", "\"Oh, at six o'clock: he keeps early hours in the country.", "You had better\nchange your frock now; I will go with you and fasten it.", "Here is a\ncandle.\"", "\"Is it necessary to change my frock?\"", "\"Yes, you had better: I always dress for the evening when Mr. Rochester\nis here.\"", "This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately; however, I repaired to\nmy room, and, with Mrs. Fairfax's aid, replaced my black stuff dress by\none of black silk; the best and the only additional one I had, except one\nof light grey, which, in my Lowood notions of the toilette, I thought too\nfine to be worn, except on first-rate occasions.", "\"You want a brooch,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "I had a single little pearl\nornament which Miss Temple gave me as a parting keepsake: I put it on,\nand then we went downstairs.", "Unused as I was to strangers, it was rather\na trial to appear thus formally summoned in Mr. Rochester's presence.", "I\nlet Mrs. Fairfax precede me into the dining-room, and kept in her shade\nas we crossed that apartment; and, passing the arch, whose curtain was\nnow dropped, entered the elegant recess beyond.", "Two wax candles stood lighted on the table, and two on the mantelpiece;\nbasking in the light and heat of a superb fire, lay Pilot--Adele knelt\nnear him.", "Half reclined on a couch appeared Mr. Rochester, his foot\nsupported by the cushion; he was looking at Adele and the dog: the fire\nshone full on his face.", "I knew my traveller with his broad and jetty\neyebrows; his square forehead, made squarer by the horizontal sweep of\nhis black hair.", "I recognised his decisive nose, more remarkable for\ncharacter than beauty; his full nostrils, denoting, I thought, choler;\nhis grim mouth, chin, and jaw--yes, all three were very grim, and no\nmistake.", "His shape, now divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in\nsquareness with his physiognomy: I suppose it was a good figure in the\nathletic sense of the term--broad chested and thin flanked, though\nneither tall nor graceful.", "Mr. Rochester must have been aware of the entrance of Mrs. Fairfax and\nmyself; but it appeared he was not in the mood to notice us, for he never\nlifted his head as we approached.", "\"Here is Miss Eyre, sir,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, in her quiet way.", "He bowed,\nstill not taking his eyes from the group of the dog and child.", "\"Let Miss Eyre be seated,\" said he: and there was something in the forced\nstiff bow, in the impatient yet formal tone, which seemed further to\nexpress, \"What the deuce is it to me whether Miss Eyre be there or not?", "At this moment I am not disposed to accost her.\"", "I sat down quite disembarrassed.", "A reception of finished politeness\nwould probably have confused me: I could not have returned or repaid it\nby answering grace and elegance on my part; but harsh caprice laid me\nunder no obligation; on the contrary, a decent quiescence, under the\nfreak of manner, gave me the advantage.", "Besides, the eccentricity of the\nproceeding was piquant: I felt interested to see how he would go on.", "He went on as a statue would, that is, he neither spoke nor moved.", "Mrs.\nFairfax seemed to think it necessary that some one should be amiable, and\nshe began to talk.", "Kindly, as usual--and, as usual, rather trite--she\ncondoled with him on the pressure of business he had had all day; on the\nannoyance it must have been to him with that painful sprain: then she\ncommended his patience and perseverance in going through with it.", "\"Madam, I should like some tea,\" was the sole rejoinder she got.", "She\nhastened to ring the bell; and when the tray came, she proceeded to\narrange the cups, spoons, &c., with assiduous celerity.", "I and Adele went\nto the table; but the master did not leave his couch.", "\"Will you hand Mr. Rochester's cup?\"", "said Mrs. Fairfax to me; \"Adele\nmight perhaps spill it.\"", "I did as requested.", "As he took the cup from my hand, Adele, thinking the\nmoment propitious for making a request in my favour, cried out--\n\n\"N'est-ce pas, monsieur, qu'il y a un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre dans\nvotre petit coffre?\"", "\"Who talks of cadeaux?\"", "said he gruffly.", "\"Did you expect a present, Miss\nEyre?", "Are you fond of presents?\"", "and he searched my face with eyes that\nI saw were dark, irate, and piercing.", "\"I hardly know, sir; I have little experience of them: they are generally\nthought pleasant things.\"", "\"Generally thought?", "But what do _you_ think?\"", "\"I should be obliged to take time, sir, before I could give you an answer\nworthy of your acceptance: a present has many faces to it, has it not?", "and one should consider all, before pronouncing an opinion as to its\nnature.\"", "\"Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as Adele: she demands a\n'cadeau,' clamorously, the moment she sees me: you beat about the bush.\"", "\"Because I have less confidence in my deserts than Adele has: she can\nprefer the claim of old acquaintance, and the right too of custom; for\nshe says you have always been in the habit of giving her playthings; but\nif I had to make out a case I should be puzzled, since I am a stranger,\nand have done nothing to entitle me to an acknowledgment.\"", "\"Oh, don't fall back on over-modesty!", "I have examined Adele, and find\nyou have taken great pains with her: she is not bright, she has no\ntalents; yet in a short time she has made much improvement.\"", "\"Sir, you have now given me my 'cadeau;' I am obliged to you: it is the\nmeed teachers most covet--praise of their pupils' progress.\"", "\"Humph!\"", "said Mr. Rochester, and he took his tea in silence.", "\"Come to the fire,\" said the master, when the tray was taken away, and\nMrs. Fairfax had settled into a corner with her knitting; while Adele was\nleading me by the hand round the room, showing me the beautiful books and\nornaments on the consoles and chiffonnieres.", "We obeyed, as in duty\nbound; Adele wanted to take a seat on my knee, but she was ordered to\namuse herself with Pilot.", "\"You have been resident in my house three months?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And you came from--?\"", "\"From Lowood school, in ---shire.\"", "\"Ah!", "a charitable concern.", "How long were you there?\"", "\"Eight years.\"", "\"Eight years!", "you must be tenacious of life.", "I thought half the time in\nsuch a place would have done up any constitution!", "No wonder you have\nrather the look of another world.", "I marvelled where you had got that\nsort of face.", "When you came on me in Hay Lane last night, I thought\nunaccountably of fairy tales, and had half a mind to demand whether you\nhad bewitched my horse: I am not sure yet.", "Who are your parents?\"", "\"I have none.\"", "\"Nor ever had, I suppose: do you remember them?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"I thought not.", "And so you were waiting for your people when you sat on\nthat stile?\"", "\"For whom, sir?\"", "\"For the men in green: it was a proper moonlight evening for them.", "Did I\nbreak through one of your rings, that you spread that damned ice on the\ncauseway?\"", "I shook my head.", "\"The men in green all forsook England a hundred years\nago,\" said I, speaking as seriously as he had done.", "\"And not even in Hay\nLane, or the fields about it, could you find a trace of them.", "I don't\nthink either summer or harvest, or winter moon, will ever shine on their\nrevels more.\"", "Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with raised eyebrows, seemed\nwondering what sort of talk this was.", "\"Well,\" resumed Mr. Rochester, \"if you disown parents, you must have some\nsort of kinsfolk: uncles and aunts?\"", "\"No; none that I ever saw.\"", "\"And your home?\"", "\"I have none.\"", "\"Where do your brothers and sisters live?\"", "\"I have no brothers or sisters.\"", "\"Who recommended you to come here?\"", "\"I advertised, and Mrs. Fairfax answered my advertisement.\"", "\"Yes,\" said the good lady, who now knew what ground we were upon, \"and I\nam daily thankful for the choice Providence led me to make.", "Miss Eyre\nhas been an invaluable companion to me, and a kind and careful teacher to\nAdele.\"", "\"Don't trouble yourself to give her a character,\" returned Mr. Rochester:\n\"eulogiums will not bias me; I shall judge for myself.", "She began by\nfelling my horse.\"", "\"Sir?\"", "said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"I have to thank her for this sprain.\"", "The widow looked bewildered.", "\"Miss Eyre, have you ever lived in a town?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Have you seen much society?\"", "\"None but the pupils and teachers of Lowood, and now the inmates of\nThornfield.\"", "\"Have you read much?\"", "\"Only such books as came in my way; and they have not been numerous or\nvery learned.\"", "\"You have lived the life of a nun: no doubt you are well drilled in\nreligious forms;--Brocklehurst, who I understand directs Lowood, is a\nparson, is he not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses\nwould worship their director.\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"You are very cool!", "No!", "What!", "a novice not worship her priest!", "That\nsounds blasphemous.\"", "\"I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.", "He is\na harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for\neconomy's sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could\nhardly sew.\"", "\"That was very false economy,\" remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again\ncaught the drift of the dialogue.", "\"And was that the head and front of his offending?\"", "demanded Mr.\nRochester.", "\"He starved us when he had the sole superintendence of the provision\ndepartment, before the committee was appointed; and he bored us with long\nlectures once a week, and with evening readings from books of his own\ninditing, about sudden deaths and judgments, which made us afraid to go\nto bed.\"", "\"What age were you when you went to Lowood?\"", "\"About ten.\"", "\"And you stayed there eight years: you are now, then, eighteen?\"", "I assented.", "\"Arithmetic, you see, is useful; without its aid, I should hardly have\nbeen able to guess your age.", "It is a point difficult to fix where the\nfeatures and countenance are so much at variance as in your case.", "And\nnow what did you learn at Lowood?", "Can you play?\"", "\"A little.\"", "\"Of course: that is the established answer.", "Go into the library--I mean,\nif you please.--(Excuse my tone of command; I am used to say, 'Do this,'\nand it is done: I cannot alter my customary habits for one new\ninmate.)", "--Go, then, into the library; take a candle with you; leave the\ndoor open; sit down to the piano, and play a tune.\"", "I departed, obeying his directions.", "\"Enough!\"", "he called out in a few minutes.", "\"You play _a little_, I see;\nlike any other English school-girl; perhaps rather better than some, but\nnot well.\"", "I closed the piano and returned.", "Mr. Rochester continued--\"Adele showed\nme some sketches this morning, which she said were yours.", "I don't know\nwhether they were entirely of your doing; probably a master aided you?\"", "\"No, indeed!\"", "I interjected.", "\"Ah!", "that pricks pride.", "Well, fetch me your portfolio, if you can vouch\nfor its contents being original; but don't pass your word unless you are\ncertain: I can recognise patchwork.\"", "\"Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for yourself, sir.\"", "I brought the portfolio from the library.", "\"Approach the table,\" said he; and I wheeled it to his couch.", "Adele and\nMrs. Fairfax drew near to see the pictures.", "\"No crowding,\" said Mr. Rochester: \"take the drawings from my hand as I\nfinish with them; but don't push your faces up to mine.\"", "He deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting.", "Three he laid\naside; the others, when he had examined them, he swept from him.", "\"Take them off to the other table, Mrs. Fairfax,\" said he, \"and look at\nthem with Adele;--you\" (glancing at me) \"resume your seat, and answer my\nquestions.", "I perceive those pictures were done by one hand: was that\nhand yours?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And when did you find time to do them?", "They have taken much time, and\nsome thought.\"", "\"I did them in the last two vacations I spent at Lowood, when I had no\nother occupation.\"", "\"Where did you get your copies?\"", "\"Out of my head.\"", "\"That head I see now on your shoulders?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Has it other furniture of the same kind within?\"", "\"I should think it may have: I should hope--better.\"", "He spread the pictures before him, and again surveyed them alternately.", "While he is so occupied, I will tell you, reader, what they are: and\nfirst, I must premise that they are nothing wonderful.", "The subjects had,\nindeed, risen vividly on my mind.", "As I saw them with the spiritual eye,\nbefore I attempted to embody them, they were striking; but my hand would\nnot second my fancy, and in each case it had wrought out but a pale\nportrait of the thing I had conceived.", "These pictures were in water-colours.", "The first represented clouds low\nand livid, rolling over a swollen sea: all the distance was in eclipse;\nso, too, was the foreground; or rather, the nearest billows, for there\nwas no land.", "One gleam of light lifted into relief a half-submerged\nmast, on which sat a cormorant, dark and large, with wings flecked with\nfoam; its beak held a gold bracelet set with gems, that I had touched\nwith as brilliant tints as my palette could yield, and as glittering\ndistinctness as my pencil could impart.", "Sinking below the bird and mast,\na drowned corpse glanced through the green water; a fair arm was the only\nlimb clearly visible, whence the bracelet had been washed or torn.", "The second picture contained for foreground only the dim peak of a hill,\nwith grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze.", "Beyond and above\nspread an expanse of sky, dark blue as at twilight: rising into the sky\nwas a woman's shape to the bust, portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as I\ncould combine.", "The dim forehead was crowned with a star; the lineaments\nbelow were seen as through the suffusion of vapour; the eyes shone dark\nand wild; the hair streamed shadowy, like a beamless cloud torn by storm\nor by electric travail.", "On the neck lay a pale reflection like\nmoonlight; the same faint lustre touched the train of thin clouds from\nwhich rose and bowed this vision of the Evening Star.", "The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a polar winter sky:\na muster of northern lights reared their dim lances, close serried, along\nthe horizon.", "Throwing these into distance, rose, in the foreground, a\nhead,--a colossal head, inclined towards the iceberg, and resting against\nit.", "Two thin hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew\nup before the lower features a sable veil, a brow quite bloodless, white\nas bone, and an eye hollow and fixed, blank of meaning but for the\nglassiness of despair, alone were visible.", "Above the temples, amidst\nwreathed turban folds of black drapery, vague in its character and\nconsistency as cloud, gleamed a ring of white flame, gemmed with sparkles\nof a more lurid tinge.", "This pale crescent was \"the likeness of a kingly\ncrown;\" what it diademed was \"the shape which shape had none.\"", "\"Were you happy when you painted these pictures?\"", "asked Mr. Rochester\npresently.", "\"I was absorbed, sir: yes, and I was happy.", "To paint them, in short, was\nto enjoy one of the keenest pleasures I have ever known.\"", "\"That is not saying much.", "Your pleasures, by your own account, have been\nfew; but I daresay you did exist in a kind of artist's dreamland while\nyou blent and arranged these strange tints.", "Did you sit at them long\neach day?\"", "\"I had nothing else to do, because it was the vacation, and I sat at them\nfrom morning till noon, and from noon till night: the length of the\nmidsummer days favoured my inclination to apply.\"", "\"And you felt self-satisfied with the result of your ardent labours?\"", "\"Far from it.", "I was tormented by the contrast between my idea and my\nhandiwork: in each case I had imagined something which I was quite\npowerless to realise.\"", "\"Not quite: you have secured the shadow of your thought; but no more,\nprobably.", "You had not enough of the artist's skill and science to give\nit full being: yet the drawings are, for a school-girl, peculiar.", "As to\nthe thoughts, they are elfish.", "These eyes in the Evening Star you must\nhave seen in a dream.", "How could you make them look so clear, and yet not\nat all brilliant?", "for the planet above quells their rays.", "And what\nmeaning is that in their solemn depth?", "And who taught you to paint wind?", "There is a high gale in that sky, and on this hill-top.", "Where did you\nsee Latmos?", "For that is Latmos.", "There!", "put the drawings away!\"", "I had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio, when, looking at his\nwatch, he said abruptly--\n\n\"It is nine o'clock: what are you about, Miss Eyre, to let Adele sit up\nso long?", "Take her to bed.\"", "Adele went to kiss him before quitting the room: he endured the caress,\nbut scarcely seemed to relish it more than Pilot would have done, nor so\nmuch.", "\"I wish you all good-night, now,\" said he, making a movement of the hand\ntowards the door, in token that he was tired of our company, and wished\nto dismiss us.", "Mrs. Fairfax folded up her knitting: I took my portfolio:\nwe curtseyed to him, received a frigid bow in return, and so withdrew.", "\"You said Mr. Rochester was not strikingly peculiar, Mrs. Fairfax,\" I\nobserved, when I rejoined her in her room, after putting Adele to bed.", "\"Well, is he?\"", "\"I think so: he is very changeful and abrupt.\"", "\"True: no doubt he may appear so to a stranger, but I am so accustomed to\nhis manner, I never think of it; and then, if he has peculiarities of\ntemper, allowance should be made.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Partly because it is his nature--and we can none of us help our nature;\nand partly because he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and\nmake his spirits unequal.\"", "\"What about?\"", "\"Family troubles, for one thing.\"", "\"But he has no family.\"", "\"Not now, but he has had--or, at least, relatives.", "He lost his elder\nbrother a few years since.\"", "\"His _elder_ brother?\"", "\"Yes.", "The present Mr. Rochester has not been very long in possession of\nthe property; only about nine years.\"", "\"Nine years is a tolerable time.", "Was he so very fond of his brother as\nto be still inconsolable for his loss?\"", "\"Why, no--perhaps not.", "I believe there were some misunderstandings\nbetween them.", "Mr. Rowland Rochester was not quite just to Mr. Edward;\nand perhaps he prejudiced his father against him.", "The old gentleman was\nfond of money, and anxious to keep the family estate together.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it.", "He is not very forgiving: he\nbroke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled\nkind of life.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "\"Why should he shun it?\"", "\"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.\"", "The answer was evasive.", "I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs.\nFairfax either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information\nof the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.", "She averred they\nwere a mystery to herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from\nconjecture.", "It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the\nsubject, which I did accordingly." ]

[ "She\nhastened to ring the bell; and when the tray came, she proceeded to\narrange the cups, spoons, &c., with assiduous celerity.", "No wonder you have\nrather the look of another world.", "Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with raised eyebrows, seemed\nwondering what sort of talk this was.", "\"Have you read much?\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"What age were you when you went to Lowood?\"", "\"And you stayed there eight years: you are now, then, eighteen?\"", "They have taken much time, and\nsome thought.\"", "He lost his elder\nbrother a few years since.\"", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it." ]

[ "\"Nine years is a tolerable time.", "\"No.\"", "\"Did you expect a present, Miss\nEyre?", "\"Mr. Rochester would be glad if you and your pupil would take tea with\nhim in the drawing-room this evening,\" said she: \"he has been so much\nengaged all day that he could not ask to see you before.\"", "\"That head I see now on your shoulders?\"", "I was tormented by the contrast between my idea and my\nhandiwork: in each case I had imagined something which I was quite\npowerless to realise.\"", "No!", "They have taken much time, and\nsome thought.\"", "Above the temples, amidst\nwreathed turban folds of black drapery, vague in its character and\nconsistency as cloud, gleamed a ring of white flame, gemmed with sparkles\nof a more lurid tinge.", "I perceive those pictures were done by one hand: was that\nhand yours?\"" ]

[ "\"And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses\nwould worship their director.\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"You are very cool!", "No!", "What!", "a novice not worship her priest!", "That\nsounds blasphemous.\"", "\"I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.", "He is\na harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for\neconomy's sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could\nhardly sew.\"", "\"That was very false economy,\" remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again\ncaught the drift of the dialogue.", "\"And was that the head and front of his offending?\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to bed early that\nnight; nor did he rise soon next morning.", "When he did come down, it was\nto attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived,\nand waiting to speak with him.", "Adele and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily\nrequisition as a reception-room for callers.", "A fire was lit in an\napartment upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for\nthe future schoolroom.", "I discerned in the course of the morning that\nThornfield Hall was a changed place: no longer silent as a church, it\nechoed every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the bell;\nsteps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices spoke in different\nkeys below; a rill from the outer world was flowing through it; it had a\nmaster: for my part, I liked it better.", "Adele was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept\nrunning to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could\nget a glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go\ndownstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library,\nwhere I knew she was not wanted; then, when I got a little angry, and\nmade her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her \"ami,\nMonsieur Edouard Fairfax _de_ Rochester,\" as she dubbed him (I had not\nbefore heard his prenomens), and to conjecture what presents he had\nbrought her: for it appears he had intimated the night before, that when\nhis luggage came from Millcote, there would be found amongst it a little\nbox in whose contents she had an interest.", "\"Et cela doit signifier,\" said she, \"qu'il y aura la dedans un cadeau\npour moi, et peut-etre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.", "Monsieur a parle\nde vous: il m'a demande le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n'etait pas\nune petite personne, assez mince et un peu pale.", "J'ai dit qu'oui: car\nc'est vrai, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?\"", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it.", "He is not very forgiving: he\nbroke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled\nkind of life.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "\"Why should he shun it?\"", "\"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.\"", "The answer was evasive.", "I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs.\nFairfax either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information\nof the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.", "She averred they\nwere a mystery to herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from\nconjecture.", "It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the\nsubject, which I did accordingly." ]

[ "\n\nFor several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester.", "In the\nmornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,\ngentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimes stayed\nto dine with him.", "When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse\nexercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to return these visits, as he\ngenerally did not come back till late at night.", "During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence, and\nall my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasional rencontre in\nthe hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would sometimes pass\nme haughtily and coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod\nor a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike\naffability.", "His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I\nhad nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on\ncauses quite disconnected with me.", "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "Soon after they were gone he rang the bell: a message came that I and\nAdele were to go downstairs.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "She was gratified: there\nit stood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.", "She appeared to know it by instinct.", "\"Ma boite!", "ma boite!\"", "exclaimed she, running towards it.", "\"Yes, there is your 'boite' at last: take it into a corner, you genuine\ndaughter of Paris, and amuse yourself with disembowelling it,\" said the\ndeep and rather sarcastic voice of Mr. Rochester, proceeding from the\ndepths of an immense easy-chair at the fireside.", "\"And mind,\" he\ncontinued, \"don't bother me with any details of the anatomical process,\nor any notice of the condition of the entrails: let your operation be\nconducted in silence: tiens-toi tranquille, enfant; comprends-tu?\"", "Adele seemed scarcely to need the warning--she had already retired to a\nsofa with her treasure, and was busy untying the cord which secured the\nlid.", "Having removed this impediment, and lifted certain silvery\nenvelopes of tissue paper, she merely exclaimed--\n\n\"Oh ciel!", "Que c'est beau!\"", "and then remained absorbed in ecstatic\ncontemplation.", "\"Is Miss Eyre there?\"", "now demanded the master, half rising from his seat\nto look round to the door, near which I still stood.", "\"Ah!", "well, come forward; be seated here.\"", "He drew a chair near his own.", "\"I am not fond of the prattle of children,\" he continued; \"for, old\nbachelor as I am, I have no pleasant associations connected with their\nlisp.", "It would be intolerable to me to pass a whole evening\n_tete-a-tete_ with a brat.", "Don't draw that chair farther off, Miss Eyre;\nsit down exactly where I placed it--if you please, that is.", "Confound\nthese civilities!", "I continually forget them.", "Nor do I particularly\naffect simple-minded old ladies.", "By-the-bye, I must have mine in mind;\nit won't do to neglect her; she is a Fairfax, or wed to one; and blood is\nsaid to be thicker than water.\"", "He rang, and despatched an invitation to Mrs. Fairfax, who soon arrived,\nknitting-basket in hand.", "\"Good evening, madam; I sent to you for a charitable purpose.", "I have\nforbidden Adele to talk to me about her presents, and she is bursting\nwith repletion: have the goodness to serve her as auditress and\ninterlocutrice; it will be one of the most benevolent acts you ever\nperformed.\"", "Adele, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax, than she summoned her to her\nsofa, and there quickly filled her lap with the porcelain, the ivory, the\nwaxen contents of her \"boite;\" pouring out, meantime, explanations and\nraptures in such broken English as she was mistress of.", "\"Now I have performed the part of a good host,\" pursued Mr. Rochester,\n\"put my guests into the way of amusing each other, I ought to be at\nliberty to attend to my own pleasure.", "Miss Eyre, draw your chair still a\nlittle farther forward: you are yet too far back; I cannot see you\nwithout disturbing my position in this comfortable chair, which I have no\nmind to do.\"", "I did as I was bid, though I would much rather have remained somewhat in\nthe shade; but Mr. Rochester had such a direct way of giving orders, it\nseemed a matter of course to obey him promptly.", "We were, as I have said, in the dining-room: the lustre, which had been\nlit for dinner, filled the room with a festal breadth of light; the large\nfire was all red and clear; the purple curtains hung rich and ample\nbefore the lofty window and loftier arch; everything was still, save the\nsubdued chat of Adele (she dared not speak loud), and, filling up each\npause, the beating of winter rain against the panes.", "Mr. Rochester, as he sat in his damask-covered chair, looked different to\nwhat I had seen him look before; not quite so stern--much less gloomy.", "There was a smile on his lips, and his eyes sparkled, whether with wine\nor not, I am not sure; but I think it very probable.", "He was, in short,\nin his after-dinner mood; more expanded and genial, and also more self-\nindulgent than the frigid and rigid temper of the morning; still he\nlooked preciously grim, cushioning his massive head against the swelling\nback of his chair, and receiving the light of the fire on his granite-\nhewn features, and in his great, dark eyes; for he had great, dark eyes,\nand very fine eyes, too--not without a certain change in their depths\nsometimes, which, if it was not softness, reminded you, at least, of that\nfeeling.", "He had been looking two minutes at the fire, and I had been looking the\nsame length of time at him, when, turning suddenly, he caught my gaze\nfastened on his physiognomy.", "\"You examine me, Miss Eyre,\" said he: \"do you think me handsome?\"", "I should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this question by\nsomething conventionally vague and polite; but the answer somehow slipped\nfrom my tongue before I was aware--\"No, sir.\"", "\"Ah!", "By my word!", "there is something singular about you,\" said he: \"you\nhave the air of a little _nonnette_; quaint, quiet, grave, and simple, as\nyou sit with your hands before you, and your eyes generally bent on the\ncarpet (except, by-the-bye, when they are directed piercingly to my face;\nas just now, for instance); and when one asks you a question, or makes a\nremark to which you are obliged to reply, you rap out a round rejoinder,\nwhich, if not blunt, is at least brusque.", "What do you mean by it?\"", "\"Sir, I was too plain; I beg your pardon.", "I ought to have replied that\nit was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a question about\nappearances; that tastes mostly differ; and that beauty is of little\nconsequence, or something of that sort.\"", "\"You ought to have replied no such thing.", "Beauty of little consequence,\nindeed!", "And so, under pretence of softening the previous outrage, of\nstroking and soothing me into placidity, you stick a sly penknife under\nmy ear!", "Go on: what fault do you find with me, pray?", "I suppose I have\nall my limbs and all my features like any other man?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, allow me to disown my first answer: I intended no pointed\nrepartee: it was only a blunder.\"", "\"Just so: I think so: and you shall be answerable for it.", "Criticise me:\ndoes my forehead not please you?\"", "He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizontally over his\nbrow, and showed a solid enough mass of intellectual organs, but an\nabrupt deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence should have risen.", "\"Now, ma'am, am I a fool?\"", "\"Far from it, sir.", "You would, perhaps, think me rude if I inquired in\nreturn whether you are a philanthropist?\"", "\"There again!", "Another stick of the penknife, when she pretended to pat\nmy head: and that is because I said I did not like the society of\nchildren and old women (low be it spoken!).", "No, young lady, I am not a\ngeneral philanthropist; but I bear a conscience;\" and he pointed to the\nprominences which are said to indicate that faculty, and which,\nfortunately for him, were sufficiently conspicuous; giving, indeed, a\nmarked breadth to the upper part of his head: \"and, besides, I once had a\nkind of rude tenderness of heart.", "When I was as old as you, I was a\nfeeling fellow enough, partial to the unfledged, unfostered, and unlucky;\nbut Fortune has knocked me about since: she has even kneaded me with her\nknuckles, and now I flatter myself I am hard and tough as an India-rubber\nball; pervious, though, through a chink or two still, and with one\nsentient point in the middle of the lump.", "Yes: does that leave hope for\nme?\"", "\"Hope of what, sir?\"", "\"Of my final re-transformation from India-rubber back to flesh?\"", "\"Decidedly he has had too much wine,\" I thought; and I did not know what\nanswer to make to his queer question: how could I tell whether he was\ncapable of being re-transformed?", "\"You looked very much puzzled, Miss Eyre; and though you are not pretty\nany more than I am handsome, yet a puzzled air becomes you; besides, it\nis convenient, for it keeps those searching eyes of yours away from my\nphysiognomy, and busies them with the worsted flowers of the rug; so\npuzzle on.", "Young lady, I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative\nto-night.\"", "With this announcement he rose from his chair, and stood, leaning his arm\non the marble mantelpiece: in that attitude his shape was seen plainly as\nwell as his face; his unusual breadth of chest, disproportionate almost\nto his length of limb.", "I am sure most people would have thought him an\nugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port; so much\nease in his demeanour; such a look of complete indifference to his own\nexternal appearance; so haughty a reliance on the power of other\nqualities, intrinsic or adventitious, to atone for the lack of mere\npersonal attractiveness, that, in looking at him, one inevitably shared\nthe indifference, and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith in the\nconfidence.", "\"I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to-night,\" he repeated,\n\"and that is why I sent for you: the fire and the chandelier were not\nsufficient company for me; nor would Pilot have been, for none of these\ncan talk.", "Adele is a degree better, but still far below the mark; Mrs.\nFairfax ditto; you, I am persuaded, can suit me if you will: you puzzled\nme the first evening I invited you down here.", "I have almost forgotten\nyou since: other ideas have driven yours from my head; but to-night I am\nresolved to be at ease; to dismiss what importunes, and recall what\npleases.", "It would please me now to draw you out--to learn more of\nyou--therefore speak.\"", "Instead of speaking, I smiled; and not a very complacent or submissive\nsmile either.", "\"Speak,\" he urged.", "\"What about, sir?\"", "\"Whatever you like.", "I leave both the choice of subject and the manner of\ntreating it entirely to yourself.\"", "Accordingly I sat and said nothing: \"If he expects me to talk for the\nmere sake of talking and showing off, he will find he has addressed\nhimself to the wrong person,\" I thought.", "\"You are dumb, Miss Eyre.\"", "I was dumb still.", "He bent his head a little towards me, and with a\nsingle hasty glance seemed to dive into my eyes.", "\"Stubborn?\"", "he said, \"and annoyed.", "Ah!", "it is consistent.", "I put my\nrequest in an absurd, almost insolent form.", "Miss Eyre, I beg your\npardon.", "The fact is, once for all, I don't wish to treat you like an\ninferior: that is\" (correcting himself), \"I claim only such superiority\nas must result from twenty years' difference in age and a century's\nadvance in experience.", "This is legitimate, _et j'y tiens_, as Adele\nwould say; and it is by virtue of this superiority, and this alone, that\nI desire you to have the goodness to talk to me a little now, and divert\nmy thoughts, which are galled with dwelling on one point--cankering as a\nrusty nail.\"", "He had deigned an explanation, almost an apology, and I did not feel\ninsensible to his condescension, and would not seem so.", "\"I am willing to amuse you, if I can, sir--quite willing; but I cannot\nintroduce a topic, because how do I know what will interest you?", "Ask me\nquestions, and I will do my best to answer them.\"", "\"Then, in the first place, do you agree with me that I have a right to be\na little masterful, abrupt, perhaps exacting, sometimes, on the grounds I\nstated, namely, that I am old enough to be your father, and that I have\nbattled through a varied experience with many men of many nations, and\nroamed over half the globe, while you have lived quietly with one set of\npeople in one house?\"", "\"Do as you please, sir.\"", "\"That is no answer; or rather it is a very irritating, because a very\nevasive one.", "Reply clearly.\"", "\"I don't think, sir, you have a right to command me, merely because you\nare older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have;\nyour claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time\nand experience.\"", "\"Humph!", "Promptly spoken.", "But I won't allow that, seeing that it would\nnever suit my case, as I have made an indifferent, not to say a bad, use\nof both advantages.", "Leaving superiority out of the question, then, you\nmust still agree to receive my orders now and then, without being piqued\nor hurt by the tone of command.", "Will you?\"", "I smiled: I thought to myself Mr. Rochester _is_ peculiar--he seems to\nforget that he pays me 30 pounds per annum for receiving his orders.", "\"The smile is very well,\" said he, catching instantly the passing\nexpression; \"but speak too.\"", "\"I was thinking, sir, that very few masters would trouble themselves to\ninquire whether or not their paid subordinates were piqued and hurt by\ntheir orders.\"", "\"Paid subordinates!", "What!", "you are my paid subordinate, are you?", "Oh yes,\nI had forgotten the salary!", "Well then, on that mercenary ground, will\nyou agree to let me hector a little?\"", "\"No, sir, not on that ground; but, on the ground that you did forget it,\nand that you care whether or not a dependent is comfortable in his\ndependency, I agree heartily.\"", "\"And will you consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms\nand phrases, without thinking that the omission arises from insolence?\"", "\"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence: one I\nrather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to, even for a\nsalary.\"", "\"Humbug!", "Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;\ntherefore, keep to yourself, and don't venture on generalities of which\nyou are intensely ignorant.", "However, I mentally shake hands with you for\nyour answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much for the manner in which\nit was said, as for the substance of the speech; the manner was frank and\nsincere; one does not often see such a manner: no, on the contrary,\naffectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of\none's meaning are the usual rewards of candour.", "Not three in three\nthousand raw school-girl-governesses would have answered me as you have\njust done.", "But I don't mean to flatter you: if you are cast in a\ndifferent mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: Nature did it.", "And then, after all, I go too fast in my conclusions: for what I yet\nknow, you may be no better than the rest; you may have intolerable\ndefects to counterbalance your few good points.\"", "\"And so may you,\" I thought.", "My eye met his as the idea crossed my mind:\nhe seemed to read the glance, answering as if its import had been spoken\nas well as imagined--\n\n\"Yes, yes, you are right,\" said he; \"I have plenty of faults of my own: I\nknow it, and I don't wish to palliate them, I assure you.", "God wot I need\nnot be too severe about others; I have a past existence, a series of\ndeeds, a colour of life to contemplate within my own breast, which might\nwell call my sneers and censures from my neighbours to myself.", "I\nstarted, or rather (for like other defaulters, I like to lay half the\nblame on ill fortune and adverse circumstances) was thrust on to a wrong\ntack at the age of one-and-twenty, and have never recovered the right\ncourse since: but I might have been very different; I might have been as\ngood as you--wiser--almost as stainless.", "I envy you your peace of mind,\nyour clean conscience, your unpolluted memory.", "Little girl, a memory\nwithout blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure--an\ninexhaustible source of pure refreshment: is it not?\"", "\"How was your memory when you were eighteen, sir?\"", "\"All right then; limpid, salubrious: no gush of bilge water had turned it\nto fetid puddle.", "I was your equal at eighteen--quite your equal.", "Nature\nmeant me to be, on the whole, a good man, Miss Eyre; one of the better\nkind, and you see I am not so.", "You would say you don't see it; at least\nI flatter myself I read as much in your eye (beware, by-the-bye, what you\nexpress with that organ; I am quick at interpreting its language).", "Then\ntake my word for it,--I am not a villain: you are not to suppose that--not\nto attribute to me any such bad eminence; but, owing, I verily believe,\nrather to circumstances than to my natural bent, I am a trite commonplace\nsinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich\nand worthless try to put on life.", "Do you wonder that I avow this to you?", "Know, that in the course of your future life you will often find yourself\nelected the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances' secrets: people\nwill instinctively find out, as I have done, that it is not your forte to\ntell of yourself, but to listen while others talk of themselves; they\nwill feel, too, that you listen with no malevolent scorn of their\nindiscretion, but with a kind of innate sympathy; not the less comforting\nand encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations.\"", "\"How do you know?--how can you guess all this, sir?\"", "\"I know it well; therefore I proceed almost as freely as if I were\nwriting my thoughts in a diary.", "You would say, I should have been\nsuperior to circumstances; so I should--so I should; but you see I was\nnot.", "When fate wronged me, I had not the wisdom to remain cool: I turned\ndesperate; then I degenerated.", "Now, when any vicious simpleton excites\nmy disgust by his paltry ribaldry, I cannot flatter myself that I am\nbetter than he: I am forced to confess that he and I are on a level.", "I\nwish I had stood firm--God knows I do!", "Dread remorse when you are\ntempted to err, Miss Eyre; remorse is the poison of life.\"", "\"Repentance is said to be its cure, sir.\"", "\"It is not its cure.", "Reformation may be its cure; and I could reform--I\nhave strength yet for that--if--but where is the use of thinking of it,\nhampered, burdened, cursed as I am?", "Besides, since happiness is\nirrevocably denied me, I have a right to get pleasure out of life: and I\n_will_ get it, cost what it may.\"", "\"Then you will degenerate still more, sir.\"", "\"Possibly: yet why should I, if I can get sweet, fresh pleasure?", "And I\nmay get it as sweet and fresh as the wild honey the bee gathers on the\nmoor.\"", "\"It will sting--it will taste bitter, sir.\"", "\"How do you know?--you never tried it.", "How very serious--how very solemn\nyou look: and you are as ignorant of the matter as this cameo head\"\n(taking one from the mantelpiece).", "\"You have no right to preach to me,\nyou neophyte, that have not passed the porch of life, and are absolutely\nunacquainted with its mysteries.\"", "\"I only remind you of your own words, sir: you said error brought\nremorse, and you pronounced remorse the poison of existence.\"", "\"And who talks of error now?", "I scarcely think the notion that flittered\nacross my brain was an error.", "I believe it was an inspiration rather\nthan a temptation: it was very genial, very soothing--I know that.", "Here\nit comes again!", "It is no devil, I assure you; or if it be, it has put on\nthe robes of an angel of light.", "I think I must admit so fair a guest\nwhen it asks entrance to my heart.\"", "\"Distrust it, sir; it is not a true angel.\"", "\"Once more, how do you know?", "By what instinct do you pretend to\ndistinguish between a fallen seraph of the abyss and a messenger from the\neternal throne--between a guide and a seducer?\"", "\"I judged by your countenance, sir, which was troubled when you said the\nsuggestion had returned upon you.", "I feel sure it will work you more\nmisery if you listen to it.\"", "\"Not at all--it bears the most gracious message in the world: for the\nrest, you are not my conscience-keeper, so don't make yourself uneasy.", "Here, come in, bonny wanderer!\"", "He said this as if he spoke to a vision, viewless to any eye but his own;\nthen, folding his arms, which he had half extended, on his chest, he\nseemed to enclose in their embrace the invisible being.", "\"Now,\" he continued, again addressing me, \"I have received the pilgrim--a\ndisguised deity, as I verily believe.", "Already it has done me good: my\nheart was a sort of charnel; it will now be a shrine.\"", "\"To speak truth, sir, I don't understand you at all: I cannot keep up the\nconversation, because it has got out of my depth.", "Only one thing, I\nknow: you said you were not as good as you should like to be, and that\nyou regretted your own imperfection;--one thing I can comprehend: you\nintimated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane.", "It seems\nto me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to\nbecome what you yourself would approve; and that if from this day you\nbegan with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would in\na few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to\nwhich you might revert with pleasure.\"", "\"Justly thought; rightly said, Miss Eyre; and, at this moment, I am\npaving hell with energy.\"", "\"Sir?\"", "\"I am laying down good intentions, which I believe durable as flint.", "Certainly, my associates and pursuits shall be other than they have\nbeen.\"", "\"And better?\"", "\"And better--so much better as pure ore is than foul dross.", "You seem to\ndoubt me; I don't doubt myself: I know what my aim is, what my motives\nare; and at this moment I pass a law, unalterable as that of the Medes\nand Persians, that both are right.\"", "\"They cannot be, sir, if they require a new statute to legalise them.\"", "\"They are, Miss Eyre, though they absolutely require a new statute:\nunheard-of combinations of circumstances demand unheard-of rules.\"", "\"That sounds a dangerous maxim, sir; because one can see at once that it\nis liable to abuse.\"", "\"Sententious sage!", "so it is: but I swear by my household gods not to\nabuse it.\"", "\"You are human and fallible.\"", "\"I am: so are you--what then?\"", "\"The human and fallible should not arrogate a power with which the divine\nand perfect alone can be safely intrusted.\"", "\"What power?\"", "\"That of saying of any strange, unsanctioned line of action,--'Let it be\nright.'\"", "\"'Let it be right'--the very words: you have pronounced them.\"", "\"_May_ it be right then,\" I said, as I rose, deeming it useless to\ncontinue a discourse which was all darkness to me; and, besides, sensible\nthat the character of my interlocutor was beyond my penetration; at\nleast, beyond its present reach; and feeling the uncertainty, the vague\nsense of insecurity, which accompanies a conviction of ignorance.", "\"Where are you going?\"", "\"To put Adele to bed: it is past her bedtime.\"", "\"You are afraid of me, because I talk like a Sphynx.\"", "\"Your language is enigmatical, sir: but though I am bewildered, I am\ncertainly not afraid.\"", "\"You _are_ afraid--your self-love dreads a blunder.\"", "\"In that sense I do feel apprehensive--I have no wish to talk nonsense.\"", "\"If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet manner, I should mistake\nit for sense.", "Do you never laugh, Miss Eyre?", "Don't trouble yourself to\nanswer--I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe\nme, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.", "The Lowood constraint still clings to you somewhat; controlling your\nfeatures, muffling your voice, and restricting your limbs; and you fear\nin the presence of a man and a brother--or father, or master, or what you\nwill--to smile too gaily, speak too freely, or move too quickly: but, in\ntime, I think you will learn to be natural with me, as I find it\nimpossible to be conventional with you; and then your looks and movements\nwill have more vivacity and variety than they dare offer now.", "I see at\nintervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close-set bars\nof a cage: a vivid, restless, resolute captive is there; were it but\nfree, it would soar cloud-high.", "You are still bent on going?\"", "\"It has struck nine, sir.\"", "\"Never mind,--wait a minute: Adele is not ready to go to bed yet.", "My\nposition, Miss Eyre, with my back to the fire, and my face to the room,\nfavours observation.", "While talking to you, I have also occasionally\nwatched Adele (I have my own reasons for thinking her a curious\nstudy,--reasons that I may, nay, that I shall, impart to you some day).", "She pulled out of her box, about ten minutes ago, a little pink silk\nfrock; rapture lit her face as she unfolded it; coquetry runs in her\nblood, blends with her brains, and seasons the marrow of her bones.", "'Il\nfaut que je l'essaie!'", "cried she, 'et a l'instant meme!'", "and she rushed\nout of the room.", "She is now with Sophie, undergoing a robing process: in\na few minutes she will re-enter; and I know what I shall see,--a\nminiature of Celine Varens, as she used to appear on the boards at the\nrising of--But never mind that.", "However, my tenderest feelings are about\nto receive a shock: such is my presentiment; stay now, to see whether it\nwill be realised.\"", "Ere long, Adele's little foot was heard tripping across the hall.", "She\nentered, transformed as her guardian had predicted.", "A dress of\nrose-coloured satin, very short, and as full in the skirt as it could be\ngathered, replaced the brown frock she had previously worn; a wreath of\nrosebuds circled her forehead; her feet were dressed in silk stockings\nand small white satin sandals.", "\"Est-ce que ma robe va bien?\"", "cried she, bounding forwards; \"et mes\nsouliers?", "et mes bas?", "Tenez, je crois que je vais danser!\"", "And spreading out her dress, she chasseed across the room till, having\nreached Mr. Rochester, she wheeled lightly round before him on tip-toe,\nthen dropped on one knee at his feet, exclaiming--\n\n\"Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte;\" then rising, she\nadded, \"C'est comme cela que maman faisait, n'est-ce pas, monsieur?\"", "\"Pre-cise-ly!\"", "was the answer; \"and, 'comme cela,' she charmed my English\ngold out of my British breeches' pocket.", "I have been green, too, Miss\nEyre,--ay, grass green: not a more vernal tint freshens you now than once\nfreshened me.", "My Spring is gone, however, but it has left me that French\nfloweret on my hands, which, in some moods, I would fain be rid of.", "Not\nvaluing now the root whence it sprang; having found that it was of a sort\nwhich nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the\nblossom, especially when it looks so artificial as just now.", "I keep it\nand rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous\nsins, great or small, by one good work.", "I'll explain all this some day.", "Good-night.\"" ]

[ "He bent his head a little towards me, and with a\nsingle hasty glance seemed to dive into my eyes.", "Ah!", "Know, that in the course of your future life you will often find yourself\nelected the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances' secrets: people\nwill instinctively find out, as I have done, that it is not your forte to\ntell of yourself, but to listen while others talk of themselves; they\nwill feel, too, that you listen with no malevolent scorn of their\nindiscretion, but with a kind of innate sympathy; not the less comforting\nand encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations.\"", "I think I must admit so fair a guest\nwhen it asks entrance to my heart.\"", "\"Now,\" he continued, again addressing me, \"I have received the pilgrim--a\ndisguised deity, as I verily believe.", "Already it has done me good: my\nheart was a sort of charnel; it will now be a shrine.\"", "You seem to\ndoubt me; I don't doubt myself: I know what my aim is, what my motives\nare; and at this moment I pass a law, unalterable as that of the Medes\nand Persians, that both are right.\"", "\"Where are you going?\"", "Don't trouble yourself to\nanswer--I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe\nme, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.", "\"Est-ce que ma robe va bien?\"" ]

[ "I believe it was an inspiration rather\nthan a temptation: it was very genial, very soothing--I know that.", "I suppose I have\nall my limbs and all my features like any other man?\"", "\"The human and fallible should not arrogate a power with which the divine\nand perfect alone can be safely intrusted.\"", "\"Yes, there is your 'boite' at last: take it into a corner, you genuine\ndaughter of Paris, and amuse yourself with disembowelling it,\" said the\ndeep and rather sarcastic voice of Mr. Rochester, proceeding from the\ndepths of an immense easy-chair at the fireside.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "I should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this question by\nsomething conventionally vague and polite; but the answer somehow slipped\nfrom my tongue before I was aware--\"No, sir.\"", "Adele, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax, than she summoned her to her\nsofa, and there quickly filled her lap with the porcelain, the ivory, the\nwaxen contents of her \"boite;\" pouring out, meantime, explanations and\nraptures in such broken English as she was mistress of.", "'Il\nfaut que je l'essaie!'", "Don't trouble yourself to\nanswer--I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe\nme, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.", "\"Then you will degenerate still more, sir.\"" ]

[ "\"Paid subordinates!", "What!", "you are my paid subordinate, are you?", "Oh yes,\nI had forgotten the salary!", "Well then, on that mercenary ground, will\nyou agree to let me hector a little?\"", "\"No, sir, not on that ground; but, on the ground that you did forget it,\nand that you care whether or not a dependent is comfortable in his\ndependency, I agree heartily.\"", "\"And will you consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms\nand phrases, without thinking that the omission arises from insolence?\"", "\"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence: one I\nrather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to, even for a\nsalary.\"", "\"Humbug!", "Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;\ntherefore, keep to yourself, and don't venture on generalities of which\nyou are intensely ignorant.", "However, I mentally shake hands with you for\nyour answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much for the manner in which\nit was said, as for the substance of the speech; the manner was frank and\nsincere; one does not often see such a manner: no, on the contrary,\naffectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of\none's meaning are the usual rewards of candour." ]

[ "\n\nFor several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester.", "In the\nmornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,\ngentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimes stayed\nto dine with him.", "When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse\nexercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to return these visits, as he\ngenerally did not come back till late at night.", "During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence, and\nall my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasional rencontre in\nthe hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would sometimes pass\nme haughtily and coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod\nor a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike\naffability.", "His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I\nhad nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on\ncauses quite disconnected with me.", "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "Soon after they were gone he rang the bell: a message came that I and\nAdele were to go downstairs.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "She was gratified: there\nit stood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.", "She appeared to know it by instinct.", "Tenez, je crois que je vais danser!\"", "And spreading out her dress, she chasseed across the room till, having\nreached Mr. Rochester, she wheeled lightly round before him on tip-toe,\nthen dropped on one knee at his feet, exclaiming--\n\n\"Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte;\" then rising, she\nadded, \"C'est comme cela que maman faisait, n'est-ce pas, monsieur?\"", "\"Pre-cise-ly!\"", "was the answer; \"and, 'comme cela,' she charmed my English\ngold out of my British breeches' pocket.", "I have been green, too, Miss\nEyre,--ay, grass green: not a more vernal tint freshens you now than once\nfreshened me.", "My Spring is gone, however, but it has left me that French\nfloweret on my hands, which, in some moods, I would fain be rid of.", "Not\nvaluing now the root whence it sprang; having found that it was of a sort\nwhich nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the\nblossom, especially when it looks so artificial as just now.", "I keep it\nand rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous\nsins, great or small, by one good work.", "I'll explain all this some day.", "Good-night.\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester did, on a future occasion, explain it.", "It was one\nafternoon, when he chanced to meet me and Adele in the grounds: and while\nshe played with Pilot and her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk up and\ndown a long beech avenue within sight of her.", "He then said that she was the daughter of a French opera-dancer, Celine\nVarens, towards whom he had once cherished what he called a \"_grande\npassion_.\"", "This passion Celine had professed to return with even\nsuperior ardour.", "He thought himself her idol, ugly as he was: he\nbelieved, as he said, that she preferred his \"_taille d'athlete_\" to the\nelegance of the Apollo Belvidere.", "\"And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this preference of the Gallic\nsylph for her British gnome, that I installed her in an hotel; gave her a\ncomplete establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds,\ndentelles, &c. In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the\nreceived style, like any other spoony.", "I had not, it seems, the\noriginality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction, but trode\nthe old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from the\nbeaten centre.", "I had--as I deserved to have--the fate of all other\nspoonies.", "Happening to call one evening when Celine did not expect me, I\nfound her out; but it was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling\nthrough Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air\nconsecrated so lately by her presence.", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "I was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of\nconservatory flowers and sprinkled essences, when I bethought myself to\nopen the window and step out on to the balcony.", "It was moonlight and\ngaslight besides, and very still and serene.", "The balcony was furnished\nwith a chair or two; I sat down, and took out a cigar,--I will take one\nnow, if you will excuse me.\"", "Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar;\nhaving placed it to his lips and breathed a trail of Havannah incense on\nthe freezing and sunless air, he went on--\n\n\"I liked bonbons too in those days, Miss Eyre, and I was\n_croquant_--(overlook the barbarism)--_croquant_ chocolate comfits, and\nsmoking alternately, watching meantime the equipages that rolled along\nthe fashionable streets towards the neighbouring opera-house, when in an\nelegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses, and\ndistinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognised the 'voiture' I\nhad given Celine.", "She was returning: of course my heart thumped with\nimpatience against the iron rails I leant upon.", "The carriage stopped, as\nI had expected, at the hotel door; my flame (that is the very word for an\nopera inamorata) alighted: though muffed in a cloak--an unnecessary\nencumbrance, by-the-bye, on so warm a June evening--I knew her instantly\nby her little foot, seen peeping from the skirt of her dress, as she\nskipped from the carriage-step.", "Bending over the balcony, I was about to\nmurmur 'Mon ange'--in a tone, of course, which should be audible to the\near of love alone--when a figure jumped from the carriage after her;\ncloaked also; but that was a spurred heel which had rung on the pavement,\nand that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched _porte\ncochere_ of the hotel.", "\"You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre?", "Of course not: I need not\nask you; because you never felt love.", "You have both sentiments yet to\nexperience: your soul sleeps; the shock is yet to be given which shall\nwaken it.", "You think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in\nwhich your youth has hitherto slid away.", "Floating on with closed eyes\nand muffled ears, you neither see the rocks bristling not far off in the\nbed of the flood, nor hear the breakers boil at their base.", "But I tell\nyou--and you may mark my words--you will come some day to a craggy pass\nin the channel, where the whole of life's stream will be broken up into\nwhirl and tumult, foam and noise: either you will be dashed to atoms on\ncrag points, or lifted up and borne on by some master-wave into a calmer\ncurrent--as I am now.", "\"I like this day; I like that sky of steel; I like the sternness and\nstillness of the world under this frost.", "I like Thornfield, its\nantiquity, its retirement, its old crow-trees and thorn-trees, its grey\nfacade, and lines of dark windows reflecting that metal welkin: and yet\nhow long have I abhorred the very thought of it, shunned it like a great\nplague-house?", "How I do still abhor--\"\n\nHe ground his teeth and was silent: he arrested his step and struck his\nboot against the hard ground.", "Some hated thought seemed to have him in\nits grip, and to hold him so tightly that he could not advance.", "We were ascending the avenue when he thus paused; the hall was before us.", "Lifting his eye to its battlements, he cast over them a glare such as I\nnever saw before or since.", "Pain, shame, ire, impatience, disgust,\ndetestation, seemed momentarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large\npupil dilating under his ebon eyebrow.", "Wild was the wrestle which should\nbe paramount; but another feeling rose and triumphed: something hard and\ncynical: self-willed and resolute: it settled his passion and petrified\nhis countenance: he went on--\n\n\"During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre, I was arranging a point with\nmy destiny.", "She stood there, by that beech-trunk--a hag like one of\nthose who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres.", "'You like\nThornfield?'", "she said, lifting her finger; and then she wrote in the air\na memento, which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along the house-front,\nbetween the upper and lower row of windows, 'Like it if you can!", "Like it\nif you dare!'", "\"'I will like it,' said I; 'I dare like it;' and\" (he subjoined moodily)\n\"I will keep my word; I will break obstacles to happiness, to\ngoodness--yes, goodness.", "I wish to be a better man than I have been,\nthan I am; as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, and the\nhabergeon, hindrances which others count as iron and brass, I will esteem\nbut straw and rotten wood.\"", "Adele here ran before him with her shuttlecock.", "\"Away!\"", "he cried\nharshly; \"keep at a distance, child; or go in to Sophie!\"", "Continuing\nthen to pursue his walk in silence, I ventured to recall him to the point\nwhence he had abruptly diverged--\n\n\"Did you leave the balcony, sir,\" I asked, \"when Mdlle.", "Varens entered?\"", "I almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well-timed question, but, on\nthe contrary, waking out of his scowling abstraction, he turned his eyes\ntowards me, and the shade seemed to clear off his brow.", "\"Oh, I had\nforgotten Celine!", "Well, to resume.", "When I saw my charmer thus come in\naccompanied by a cavalier, I seemed to hear a hiss, and the green snake\nof jealousy, rising on undulating coils from the moonlit balcony, glided\nwithin my waistcoat, and ate its way in two minutes to my heart's core.", "Strange!\"", "he exclaimed, suddenly starting again from the point.", "\"Strange\nthat I should choose you for the confidant of all this, young lady;\npassing strange that you should listen to me quietly, as if it were the\nmost usual thing in the world for a man like me to tell stories of his\nopera-mistresses to a quaint, inexperienced girl like you!", "But the last\nsingularity explains the first, as I intimated once before: you, with\nyour gravity, considerateness, and caution were made to be the recipient\nof secrets.", "Besides, I know what sort of a mind I have placed in\ncommunication with my own: I know it is one not liable to take infection:\nit is a peculiar mind: it is a unique one.", "Happily I do not mean to harm\nit: but, if I did, it would not take harm from me.", "The more you and I\nconverse, the better; for while I cannot blight you, you may refresh me.\"", "After this digression he proceeded--\n\n\"I remained in the balcony.", "'They will come to her boudoir, no doubt,'\nthought I: 'let me prepare an ambush.'", "So putting my hand in through the\nopen window, I drew the curtain over it, leaving only an opening through\nwhich I could take observations; then I closed the casement, all but a\nchink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to lovers' whispered vows:\nthen I stole back to my chair; and as I resumed it the pair came in.", "My\neye was quickly at the aperture.", "Celine's chamber-maid entered, lit a\nlamp, left it on the table, and withdrew.", "The couple were thus revealed\nto me clearly: both removed their cloaks, and there was 'the Varens,'\nshining in satin and jewels,--my gifts of course,--and there was her\ncompanion in an officer's uniform; and I knew him for a young roue of a\nvicomte--a brainless and vicious youth whom I had sometimes met in\nsociety, and had never thought of hating because I despised him so\nabsolutely.", "On recognising him, the fang of the snake Jealousy was\ninstantly broken; because at the same moment my love for Celine sank\nunder an extinguisher.", "A woman who could betray me for such a rival was\nnot worth contending for; she deserved only scorn; less, however, than I,\nwho had been her dupe.", "\"They began to talk; their conversation eased me completely: frivolous,\nmercenary, heartless, and senseless, it was rather calculated to weary\nthan enrage a listener.", "A card of mine lay on the table; this being\nperceived, brought my name under discussion.", "Neither of them possessed\nenergy or wit to belabour me soundly, but they insulted me as coarsely as\nthey could in their little way: especially Celine, who even waxed rather\nbrilliant on my personal defects--deformities she termed them.", "Now it\nhad been her custom to launch out into fervent admiration of what she\ncalled my '_beaute male_:' wherein she differed diametrically from you,\nwho told me point-blank, at the second interview, that you did not think\nme handsome.", "The contrast struck me at the time and--\"\n\nAdele here came running up again.", "\"Monsieur, John has just been to say that your agent has called and\nwishes to see you.\"", "\"Ah!", "in that case I must abridge.", "Opening the window, I walked in upon\nthem; liberated Celine from my protection; gave her notice to vacate her\nhotel; offered her a purse for immediate exigencies; disregarded screams,\nhysterics, prayers, protestations, convulsions; made an appointment with\nthe vicomte for a meeting at the Bois de Boulogne.", "Next morning I had\nthe pleasure of encountering him; left a bullet in one of his poor\netiolated arms, feeble as the wing of a chicken in the pip, and then\nthought I had done with the whole crew.", "But unluckily the Varens, six\nmonths before, had given me this filette Adele, who, she affirmed, was my\ndaughter; and perhaps she may be, though I see no proofs of such grim\npaternity written in her countenance: Pilot is more like me than she.", "Some years after I had broken with the mother, she abandoned her child,\nand ran away to Italy with a musician or singer.", "I acknowledged no\nnatural claim on Adele's part to be supported by me, nor do I now\nacknowledge any, for I am not her father; but hearing that she was quite\ndestitute, I e'en took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of Paris,\nand transplanted it here, to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of an\nEnglish country garden.", "Mrs. Fairfax found you to train it; but now you\nknow that it is the illegitimate offspring of a French opera-girl, you\nwill perhaps think differently of your post and protegee: you will be\ncoming to me some day with notice that you have found another place--that\nyou beg me to look out for a new governess, &c.--Eh?\"", "\"No: Adele is not answerable for either her mother's faults or yours: I\nhave a regard for her; and now that I know she is, in a sense,\nparentless--forsaken by her mother and disowned by you, sir--I shall\ncling closer to her than before.", "How could I possibly prefer the spoilt\npet of a wealthy family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance, to a\nlonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a friend?\"", "\"Oh, that is the light in which you view it!", "Well, I must go in now; and\nyou too: it darkens.\"", "But I stayed out a few minutes longer with Adele and Pilot--ran a race\nwith her, and played a game of battledore and shuttlecock.", "When we went\nin, and I had removed her bonnet and coat, I took her on my knee; kept\nher there an hour, allowing her to prattle as she liked: not rebuking\neven some little freedoms and trivialities into which she was apt to\nstray when much noticed, and which betrayed in her a superficiality of\ncharacter, inherited probably from her mother, hardly congenial to an\nEnglish mind.", "Still she had her merits; and I was disposed to appreciate\nall that was good in her to the utmost.", "I sought in her countenance and\nfeatures a likeness to Mr. Rochester, but found none: no trait, no turn\nof expression announced relationship.", "It was a pity: if she could but\nhave been proved to resemble him, he would have thought more of her.", "It was not till after I had withdrawn to my own chamber for the night,\nthat I steadily reviewed the tale Mr. Rochester had told me.", "As he had\nsaid, there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of\nthe narrative itself: a wealthy Englishman's passion for a French dancer,\nand her treachery to him, were every-day matters enough, no doubt, in\nsociety; but there was something decidedly strange in the paroxysm of\nemotion which had suddenly seized him when he was in the act of\nexpressing the present contentment of his mood, and his newly revived\npleasure in the old hall and its environs.", "I meditated wonderingly on\nthis incident; but gradually quitting it, as I found it for the present\ninexplicable, I turned to the consideration of my master's manner to\nmyself.", "The confidence he had thought fit to repose in me seemed a\ntribute to my discretion: I regarded and accepted it as such.", "His\ndeportment had now for some weeks been more uniform towards me than at\nthe first.", "I never seemed in his way; he did not take fits of chilling\nhauteur: when he met me unexpectedly, the encounter seemed welcome; he\nhad always a word and sometimes a smile for me: when summoned by formal\ninvitation to his presence, I was honoured by a cordiality of reception\nthat made me feel I really possessed the power to amuse him, and that\nthese evening conferences were sought as much for his pleasure as for my\nbenefit.", "I, indeed, talked comparatively little, but I heard him talk with relish.", "It was his nature to be communicative; he liked to open to a mind\nunacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways (I do not\nmean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways, but such as derived their\ninterest from the great scale on which they were acted, the strange\nnovelty by which they were characterised); and I had a keen delight in\nreceiving the new ideas he offered, in imagining the new pictures he\nportrayed, and following him in thought through the new regions he\ndisclosed, never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion.", "The ease of his manner freed me from painful restraint: the friendly\nfrankness, as correct as cordial, with which he treated me, drew me to\nhim.", "I felt at times as if he were my relation rather than my master:\nyet he was imperious sometimes still; but I did not mind that; I saw it\nwas his way.", "So happy, so gratified did I become with this new interest\nadded to life, that I ceased to pine after kindred: my thin\ncrescent-destiny seemed to enlarge; the blanks of existence were filled\nup; my bodily health improved; I gathered flesh and strength.", "And was Mr. Rochester now ugly in my eyes?", "No, reader: gratitude, and\nmany associations, all pleasurable and genial, made his face the object I\nbest liked to see; his presence in a room was more cheering than the\nbrightest fire.", "Yet I had not forgotten his faults; indeed, I could not,\nfor he brought them frequently before me.", "He was proud, sardonic, harsh\nto inferiority of every description: in my secret soul I knew that his\ngreat kindness to me was balanced by unjust severity to many others.", "He\nwas moody, too; unaccountably so; I more than once, when sent for to read\nto him, found him sitting in his library alone, with his head bent on his\nfolded arms; and, when he looked up, a morose, almost a malignant, scowl\nblackened his features.", "But I believed that his moodiness, his\nharshness, and his former faults of morality (I say _former_, for now he\nseemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate.", "I\nbelieved he was naturally a man of better tendencies, higher principles,\nand purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed, education\ninstilled, or destiny encouraged.", "I thought there were excellent\nmaterials in him; though for the present they hung together somewhat\nspoiled and tangled.", "I cannot deny that I grieved for his grief,\nwhatever that was, and would have given much to assuage it.", "Though I had now extinguished my candle and was laid down in bed, I could\nnot sleep for thinking of his look when he paused in the avenue, and told\nhow his destiny had risen up before him, and dared him to be happy at\nThornfield.", "\"Why not?\"", "I asked myself.", "\"What alienates him from the house?", "Will he\nleave it again soon?", "Mrs. Fairfax said he seldom stayed here longer than\na fortnight at a time; and he has now been resident eight weeks.", "If he\ndoes go, the change will be doleful.", "Suppose he should be absent spring,\nsummer, and autumn: how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem!\"", "I hardly know whether I had slept or not after this musing; at any rate,\nI started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur, peculiar and lugubrious,\nwhich sounded, I thought, just above me.", "I wished I had kept my candle\nburning: the night was drearily dark; my spirits were depressed.", "I rose\nand sat up in bed, listening.", "The sound was hushed.", "I tried again to sleep; but my heart beat anxiously: my inward\ntranquillity was broken.", "The clock, far down in the hall, struck two.", "Just then it seemed my chamber-door was touched; as if fingers had swept\nthe panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside.", "I said, \"Who\nis there?\"", "Nothing answered.", "I was chilled with fear.", "All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen-\ndoor chanced to be left open, not unfrequently found his way up to the\nthreshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber: I had seen him lying there myself\nin the mornings.", "The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down.", "Silence\ncomposes the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through\nthe whole house, I began to feel the return of slumber.", "But it was not\nfated that I should sleep that night.", "A dream had scarcely approached my\near, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident\nenough.", "This was a demoniac laugh--low, suppressed, and deep--uttered, as it\nseemed, at the very keyhole of my chamber door.", "The head of my bed was\nnear the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laugher stood at my\nbedside--or rather, crouched by my pillow: but I rose, looked round, and\ncould see nothing; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound was\nreiterated: and I knew it came from behind the panels.", "My first impulse\nwas to rise and fasten the bolt; my next, again to cry out, \"Who is\nthere?\"", "Something gurgled and moaned.", "Ere long, steps retreated up the gallery\ntowards the third-storey staircase: a door had lately been made to shut\nin that staircase; I heard it open and close, and all was still.", "\"Was that Grace Poole?", "and is she possessed with a devil?\"", "thought I.", "Impossible now to remain longer by myself: I must go to Mrs. Fairfax.", "I\nhurried on my frock and a shawl; I withdrew the bolt and opened the door\nwith a trembling hand.", "There was a candle burning just outside, and on\nthe matting in the gallery.", "I was surprised at this circumstance: but\nstill more was I amazed to perceive the air quite dim, as if filled with\nsmoke; and, while looking to the right hand and left, to find whence\nthese blue wreaths issued, I became further aware of a strong smell of\nburning.", "Something creaked: it was a door ajar; and that door was Mr. Rochester's,\nand the smoke rushed in a cloud from thence.", "I thought no more of Mrs.\nFairfax; I thought no more of Grace Poole, or the laugh: in an instant, I\nwas within the chamber.", "Tongues of flame darted round the bed: the\ncurtains were on fire.", "In the midst of blaze and vapour, Mr. Rochester\nlay stretched motionless, in deep sleep.", "\"Wake!", "wake!\"", "I cried.", "I shook him, but he only murmured and turned: the\nsmoke had stupefied him.", "Not a moment could be lost: the very sheets\nwere kindling, I rushed to his basin and ewer; fortunately, one was wide\nand the other deep, and both were filled with water.", "I heaved them up,\ndeluged the bed and its occupant, flew back to my own room, brought my\nown water-jug, baptized the couch afresh, and, by God's aid, succeeded in\nextinguishing the flames which were devouring it.", "The hiss of the quenched element, the breakage of a pitcher which I flung\nfrom my hand when I had emptied it, and, above all, the splash of the\nshower-bath I had liberally bestowed, roused Mr. Rochester at last.", "Though it was now dark, I knew he was awake; because I heard him\nfulminating strange anathemas at finding himself lying in a pool of\nwater.", "\"Is there a flood?\"", "he cried.", "\"No, sir,\" I answered; \"but there has been a fire: get up, do; you are\nquenched now; I will fetch you a candle.\"", "\"In the name of all the elves in Christendom, is that Jane Eyre?\"", "he\ndemanded.", "\"What have you done with me, witch, sorceress?", "Who is in the\nroom besides you?", "Have you plotted to drown me?\"", "\"I will fetch you a candle, sir; and, in Heaven's name, get up.", "Somebody\nhas plotted something: you cannot too soon find out who and what it is.\"", "\"There!", "I am up now; but at your peril you fetch a candle yet: wait two\nminutes till I get into some dry garments, if any dry there be--yes, here\nis my dressing-gown.", "Now run!\"", "I did run; I brought the candle which still remained in the gallery.", "He\ntook it from my hand, held it up, and surveyed the bed, all blackened and\nscorched, the sheets drenched, the carpet round swimming in water.", "\"What is it?", "and who did it?\"", "he asked.", "I briefly related to him what\nhad transpired: the strange laugh I had heard in the gallery: the step\nascending to the third storey; the smoke,--the smell of fire which had\nconducted me to his room; in what state I had found matters there, and\nhow I had deluged him with all the water I could lay hands on.", "{\"What is it and who did it?\"", "he asked: p140.jpg}\n\nHe listened very gravely; his face, as I went on, expressed more concern\nthan astonishment; he did not immediately speak when I had concluded.", "\"Shall I call Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "I asked.", "\"Mrs. Fairfax?", "No; what the deuce would you call her for?", "What can she\ndo?", "Let her sleep unmolested.\"", "\"Then I will fetch Leah, and wake John and his wife.\"", "\"Not at all: just be still.", "You have a shawl on.", "If you are not warm\nenough, you may take my cloak yonder; wrap it about you, and sit down in\nthe arm-chair: there,--I will put it on.", "Now place your feet on the\nstool, to keep them out of the wet.", "I am going to leave you a few\nminutes.", "I shall take the candle.", "Remain where you are till I return;\nbe as still as a mouse.", "I must pay a visit to the second storey.", "Don't\nmove, remember, or call any one.\"", "He went: I watched the light withdraw.", "He passed up the gallery very\nsoftly, unclosed the staircase door with as little noise as possible,\nshut it after him, and the last ray vanished.", "I was left in total\ndarkness.", "I listened for some noise, but heard nothing.", "A very long\ntime elapsed.", "I grew weary: it was cold, in spite of the cloak; and then\nI did not see the use of staying, as I was not to rouse the house.", "I was\non the point of risking Mr. Rochester's displeasure by disobeying his\norders, when the light once more gleamed dimly on the gallery wall, and I\nheard his unshod feet tread the matting.", "\"I hope it is he,\" thought I,\n\"and not something worse.\"", "He re-entered, pale and very gloomy.", "\"I have found it all out,\" said he,\nsetting his candle down on the washstand; \"it is as I thought.\"", "\"How, sir?\"", "He made no reply, but stood with his arms folded, looking on the ground.", "At the end of a few minutes he inquired in rather a peculiar tone--\n\n\"I forget whether you said you saw anything when you opened your chamber\ndoor.\"", "\"No, sir, only the candlestick on the ground.\"", "\"But you heard an odd laugh?", "You have heard that laugh before, I should\nthink, or something like it?\"", "\"Yes, sir: there is a woman who sews here, called Grace Poole,--she\nlaughs in that way.", "She is a singular person.\"", "\"Just so.", "Grace Poole--you have guessed it.", "She is, as you say,\nsingular--very.", "Well, I shall reflect on the subject.", "Meantime, I am\nglad that you are the only person, besides myself, acquainted with the\nprecise details of to-night's incident.", "You are no talking fool: say\nnothing about it.", "I will account for this state of affairs\" (pointing to\nthe bed): \"and now return to your own room.", "I shall do very well on the\nsofa in the library for the rest of the night.", "It is near four:--in two\nhours the servants will be up.\"", "\"Good-night, then, sir,\" said I, departing.", "He seemed surprised--very inconsistently so, as he had just told me to\ngo.", "\"What!\"", "he exclaimed, \"are you quitting me already, and in that way?\"", "\"You said I might go, sir.\"", "\"But not without taking leave; not without a word or two of\nacknowledgment and good-will: not, in short, in that brief, dry fashion.", "Why, you have saved my life!--snatched me from a horrible and\nexcruciating death!", "and you walk past me as if we were mutual strangers!", "At least shake hands.\"", "He held out his hand; I gave him mine: he took it first in one, them in\nboth his own.", "\"You have saved my life: I have a pleasure in owing you so immense a\ndebt.", "I cannot say more.", "Nothing else that has being would have been\ntolerable to me in the character of creditor for such an obligation: but\nyou: it is different;--I feel your benefits no burden, Jane.\"", "He paused; gazed at me: words almost visible trembled on his lips,--but\nhis voice was checked.", "\"Good-night again, sir.", "There is no debt, benefit, burden, obligation,\nin the case.\"", "\"I knew,\" he continued, \"you would do me good in some way, at some\ntime;--I saw it in your eyes when I first beheld you: their expression\nand smile did not\"--(again he stopped)--\"did not\" (he proceeded hastily)\n\"strike delight to my very inmost heart so for nothing.", "People talk of\nnatural sympathies; I have heard of good genii: there are grains of truth\nin the wildest fable.", "My cherished preserver, goodnight!\"", "Strange energy was in his voice, strange fire in his look.", "\"I am glad I happened to be awake,\" I said: and then I was going.", "\"What!", "you _will_ go?\"", "\"I am cold, sir.\"", "\"Cold?", "Yes,--and standing in a pool!", "Go, then, Jane; go!\"", "But he still\nretained my hand, and I could not free it.", "I bethought myself of an\nexpedient.", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I.", "\"Well, leave me:\" he relaxed his fingers, and I was gone.", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.", "Till morning dawned I\nwas tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled\nunder surges of joy.", "I thought sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a\nshore, sweet as the hills of Beulah; and now and then a freshening gale,\nwakened by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne: but I\ncould not reach it, even in fancy--a counteracting breeze blew off land,\nand continually drove me back.", "Sense would resist delirium: judgment\nwould warn passion.", "Too feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned." ]

[ "But the last\nsingularity explains the first, as I intimated once before: you, with\nyour gravity, considerateness, and caution were made to be the recipient\nof secrets.", "Neither of them possessed\nenergy or wit to belabour me soundly, but they insulted me as coarsely as\nthey could in their little way: especially Celine, who even waxed rather\nbrilliant on my personal defects--deformities she termed them.", "\"Ah!", "But unluckily the Varens, six\nmonths before, had given me this filette Adele, who, she affirmed, was my\ndaughter; and perhaps she may be, though I see no proofs of such grim\npaternity written in her countenance: Pilot is more like me than she.", "How could I possibly prefer the spoilt\npet of a wealthy family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance, to a\nlonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a friend?\"", "The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down.", "In the midst of blaze and vapour, Mr. Rochester\nlay stretched motionless, in deep sleep.", "\"What have you done with me, witch, sorceress?", "What can she\ndo?", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester did, on a future occasion, explain it.", "Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar;\nhaving placed it to his lips and breathed a trail of Havannah incense on\nthe freezing and sunless air, he went on--\n\n\"I liked bonbons too in those days, Miss Eyre, and I was\n_croquant_--(overlook the barbarism)--_croquant_ chocolate comfits, and\nsmoking alternately, watching meantime the equipages that rolled along\nthe fashionable streets towards the neighbouring opera-house, when in an\nelegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses, and\ndistinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognised the 'voiture' I\nhad given Celine.", "he asked: p140.jpg}\n\nHe listened very gravely; his face, as I went on, expressed more concern\nthan astonishment; he did not immediately speak when I had concluded.", "I hardly know whether I had slept or not after this musing; at any rate,\nI started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur, peculiar and lugubrious,\nwhich sounded, I thought, just above me.", "A card of mine lay on the table; this being\nperceived, brought my name under discussion.", "All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen-\ndoor chanced to be left open, not unfrequently found his way up to the\nthreshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber: I had seen him lying there myself\nin the mornings.", "he asked.", "You have heard that laugh before, I should\nthink, or something like it?\"", "If he\ndoes go, the change will be doleful.", "It was a pity: if she could but\nhave been proved to resemble him, he would have thought more of her." ]

[ "I was chilled with fear.", "All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen-\ndoor chanced to be left open, not unfrequently found his way up to the\nthreshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber: I had seen him lying there myself\nin the mornings.", "The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down.", "Silence\ncomposes the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through\nthe whole house, I began to feel the return of slumber.", "But it was not\nfated that I should sleep that night.", "A dream had scarcely approached my\near, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident\nenough.", "This was a demoniac laugh--low, suppressed, and deep--uttered, as it\nseemed, at the very keyhole of my chamber door.", "The head of my bed was\nnear the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laugher stood at my\nbedside--or rather, crouched by my pillow: but I rose, looked round, and\ncould see nothing; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound was\nreiterated: and I knew it came from behind the panels.", "My first impulse\nwas to rise and fasten the bolt; my next, again to cry out, \"Who is\nthere?\"", "Something gurgled and moaned.", "Ere long, steps retreated up the gallery\ntowards the third-storey staircase: a door had lately been made to shut\nin that staircase; I heard it open and close, and all was still." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester did, on a future occasion, explain it.", "It was one\nafternoon, when he chanced to meet me and Adele in the grounds: and while\nshe played with Pilot and her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk up and\ndown a long beech avenue within sight of her.", "He then said that she was the daughter of a French opera-dancer, Celine\nVarens, towards whom he had once cherished what he called a \"_grande\npassion_.\"", "This passion Celine had professed to return with even\nsuperior ardour.", "He thought himself her idol, ugly as he was: he\nbelieved, as he said, that she preferred his \"_taille d'athlete_\" to the\nelegance of the Apollo Belvidere.", "\"And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this preference of the Gallic\nsylph for her British gnome, that I installed her in an hotel; gave her a\ncomplete establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds,\ndentelles, &c. In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the\nreceived style, like any other spoony.", "I had not, it seems, the\noriginality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction, but trode\nthe old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from the\nbeaten centre.", "I had--as I deserved to have--the fate of all other\nspoonies.", "Happening to call one evening when Celine did not expect me, I\nfound her out; but it was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling\nthrough Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air\nconsecrated so lately by her presence.", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "Go, then, Jane; go!\"", "But he still\nretained my hand, and I could not free it.", "I bethought myself of an\nexpedient.", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I.", "\"Well, leave me:\" he relaxed his fingers, and I was gone.", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.", "Till morning dawned I\nwas tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled\nunder surges of joy.", "I thought sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a\nshore, sweet as the hills of Beulah; and now and then a freshening gale,\nwakened by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne: but I\ncould not reach it, even in fancy--a counteracting breeze blew off land,\nand continually drove me back.", "Sense would resist delirium: judgment\nwould warn passion.", "Too feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "It\ncontained a bookcase: I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care\nthat it should be one stored with pictures.", "I mounted into the window-\nseat: gathering up my feet, I sat cross-legged, like a Turk; and, having\ndrawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in double\nretirement.", "Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the right hand; to the left\nwere the clear panes of glass, protecting, but not separating me from the\ndrear November day.", "At intervals, while turning over the leaves of my\nbook, I studied the aspect of that winter afternoon.", "Afar, it offered a\npale blank of mist and cloud; near a scene of wet lawn and storm-beat\nshrub, with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and\nlamentable blast.", "I returned to my book--Bewick's History of British Birds: the letterpress\nthereof I cared little for, generally speaking; and yet there were\ncertain introductory pages that, child as I was, I could not pass quite\nas a blank.", "They were those which treat of the haunts of sea-fowl; of\n\"the solitary rocks and promontories\" by them only inhabited; of the\ncoast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern extremity, the\nLindeness, or Naze, to the North Cape--\n\n \"Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,\n Boils round the naked, melancholy isles\n Of farthest Thule; and the Atlantic surge\n Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.\"", "Nor could I pass unnoticed the suggestion of the bleak shores of Lapland,\nSiberia, Spitzbergen, Nova Zembla, Iceland, Greenland, with \"the vast\nsweep of the Arctic Zone, and those forlorn regions of dreary space,--that\nreservoir of frost and snow, where firm fields of ice, the accumulation\nof centuries of winters, glazed in Alpine heights above heights, surround\nthe pole, and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold.\"", "Of\nthese death-white realms I formed an idea of my own: shadowy, like all\nthe half-comprehended notions that float dim through children's brains,\nbut strangely impressive.", "The words in these introductory pages\nconnected themselves with the succeeding vignettes, and gave significance\nto the rock standing up alone in a sea of billow and spray; to the broken\nboat stranded on a desolate coast; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing\nthrough bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking.", "I cannot tell what sentiment haunted the quite solitary churchyard, with\nits inscribed headstone; its gate, its two trees, its low horizon,\ngirdled by a broken wall, and its newly-risen crescent, attesting the\nhour of eventide.", "The two ships becalmed on a torpid sea, I believed to be marine phantoms.", "The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind him, I passed over\nquickly: it was an object of terror.", "So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock, surveying a distant\ncrowd surrounding a gallows.", "Each picture told a story; mysterious often to my undeveloped\nunderstanding and imperfect feelings, yet ever profoundly interesting: as\ninteresting as the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings,\nwhen she chanced to be in good humour; and when, having brought her\nironing-table to the nursery hearth, she allowed us to sit about it, and\nwhile she got up Mrs. Reed's lace frills, and crimped her nightcap\nborders, fed our eager attention with passages of love and adventure\ntaken from old fairy tales and other ballads; or (as at a later period I\ndiscovered) from the pages of Pamela, and Henry, Earl of Moreland.", "With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy: happy at least in my way.", "I\nfeared nothing but interruption, and that came too soon.", "The breakfast-\nroom door opened.", "\"Boh!", "Madam Mope!\"", "cried the voice of John Reed; then he paused: he\nfound the room apparently empty.", "\"Where the dickens is she!\"", "he continued.", "\"Lizzy!", "Georgy!", "(calling to\nhis sisters) Joan is not here: tell mama she is run out into the rain--bad\nanimal!\"", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "And I came out immediately, for I trembled at the idea of being dragged\nforth by the said Jack.", "\"What do you want?\"", "I asked, with awkward diffidence.", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back.", "Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his chair: he spent some three\nminutes in thrusting out his tongue at me as far as he could without\ndamaging the roots: I knew he would soon strike, and while dreading the\nblow, I mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would\npresently deal it.", "I wonder if he read that notion in my face; for, all\nat once, without speaking, he struck suddenly and strongly.", "I tottered,\nand on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his\nchair.", "\"That is for your impudence in answering mama awhile since,\" said he,\n\"and for your sneaking way of getting behind curtains, and for the look\nyou had in your eyes two minutes since, you rat!\"", "Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it;\nmy care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the\ninsult.", "\"What were you doing behind the curtain?\"", "he asked.", "\"I was reading.\"", "\"Show the book.\"", "I returned to the window and fetched it thence.", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "Now, I'll teach you to\nrummage my bookshelves: for they _are_ mine; all the house belongs to me,\nor will do in a few years.", "Go and stand by the door, out of the way of\nthe mirror and the windows.\"", "I did so, not at first aware what was his intention; but when I saw him\nlift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it, I instinctively\nstarted aside with a cry of alarm: not soon enough, however; the volume\nwas flung, it hit me, and I fell, striking my head against the door and\ncutting it.", "The cut bled, the pain was sharp: my terror had passed its\nclimax; other feelings succeeded.", "\"Wicked and cruel boy!\"", "I said.", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"", "I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome, and had formed my opinion of\nNero, Caligula, etc.", "Also I had drawn parallels in silence, which I never\nthought thus to have declared aloud.", "\"What!", "what!\"", "he cried.", "\"Did she say that to me?", "Did you hear her,\nEliza and Georgiana?", "Won't I tell mama?", "but first--\"\n\nHe ran headlong at me: I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder: he had\nclosed with a desperate thing.", "I really saw in him a tyrant, a murderer.", "I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my neck, and was\nsensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations for the time\npredominated over fear, and I received him in frantic sort.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "I\nfeared nothing but interruption, and that came too soon.", "\"Boh!", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "\"What do you want?\"", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "Now, I'll teach you to\nrummage my bookshelves: for they _are_ mine; all the house belongs to me,\nor will do in a few years.", "\"What!", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"" ]

[ "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "I asked, with awkward diffidence.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back.", "So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock, surveying a distant\ncrowd surrounding a gallows.", "The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind him, I passed over\nquickly: it was an object of terror.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "Each picture told a story; mysterious often to my undeveloped\nunderstanding and imperfect feelings, yet ever profoundly interesting: as\ninteresting as the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings,\nwhen she chanced to be in good humour; and when, having brought her\nironing-table to the nursery hearth, she allowed us to sit about it, and\nwhile she got up Mrs. Reed's lace frills, and crimped her nightcap\nborders, fed our eager attention with passages of love and adventure\ntaken from old fairy tales and other ballads; or (as at a later period I\ndiscovered) from the pages of Pamela, and Henry, Earl of Moreland." ]

[ "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "Am I a servant?\"", "\"No; you are less than a servant, for you do nothing for your keep.", "There, sit down, and think over your wickedness.\"", "They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs. Reed,\nand had thrust me upon a stool: my impulse was to rise from it like a\nspring; their two pair of hands arrested me instantly.", "\"If you don't sit still, you must be tied down,\" said Bessie.", "\"Miss\nAbbot, lend me your garters; she would break mine directly.\"", "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "This\npreparation for bonds, and the additional ignominy it inferred, took a\nlittle of the excitement out of me.", "\"Don't take them off,\" I cried; \"I will not stir.\"", "In guarantee whereof, I attached myself to my seat by my hands.", "\"Mind you don't,\" said Bessie; and when she had ascertained that I was\nreally subsiding, she loosened her hold of me; then she and Miss Abbot\nstood with folded arms, looking darkly and doubtfully on my face, as\nincredulous of my sanity.", "\"She never did so before,\" at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.", "\"But it was always in her,\" was the reply.", "\"I've told Missis often my\nopinion about the child, and Missis agreed with me.", "She's an underhand\nlittle thing: I never saw a girl of her age with so much cover.\"", "Bessie answered not; but ere long, addressing me, she said--\"You ought to\nbe aware, Miss, that you are under obligations to Mrs. Reed: she keeps\nyou: if she were to turn you off, you would have to go to the poorhouse.\"", "I had nothing to say to these words: they were not new to me: my very\nfirst recollections of existence included hints of the same kind.", "This\nreproach of my dependence had become a vague sing-song in my ear: very\npainful and crushing, but only half intelligible.", "Miss Abbot joined in--\n\n\"And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses Reed\nand Master Reed, because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up with\nthem.", "They will have a great deal of money, and you will have none: it\nis your place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to\nthem.\"", "\"What we tell you is for your good,\" added Bessie, in no harsh voice,\n\"you should try to be useful and pleasant, then, perhaps, you would have\na home here; but if you become passionate and rude, Missis will send you\naway, I am sure.\"", "\"Besides,\" said Miss Abbot, \"God will punish her: He might strike her\ndead in the midst of her tantrums, and then where would she go?", "Come,\nBessie, we will leave her: I wouldn't have her heart for anything.", "Say\nyour prayers, Miss Eyre, when you are by yourself; for if you don't\nrepent, something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and\nfetch you away.\"", "They went, shutting the door, and locking it behind them.", "The red-room was a square chamber, very seldom slept in, I might say\nnever, indeed, unless when a chance influx of visitors at Gateshead Hall\nrendered it necessary to turn to account all the accommodation it\ncontained: yet it was one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the\nmansion.", "A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany, hung with\ncurtains of deep red damask, stood out like a tabernacle in the centre;\nthe two large windows, with their blinds always drawn down, were half\nshrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery; the carpet was red;\nthe table at the foot of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth; the\nwalls were a soft fawn colour with a blush of pink in it; the wardrobe,\nthe toilet-table, the chairs were of darkly polished old mahogany.", "Out\nof these deep surrounding shades rose high, and glared white, the piled-\nup mattresses and pillows of the bed, spread with a snowy Marseilles\ncounterpane.", "Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy-chair\nnear the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool before it; and\nlooking, as I thought, like a pale throne.", "This room was chill, because it seldom had a fire; it was silent, because\nremote from the nursery and kitchen; solemn, because it was known to be\nso seldom entered.", "The house-maid alone came here on Saturdays, to wipe\nfrom the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet dust: and Mrs. Reed\nherself, at far intervals, visited it to review the contents of a certain\nsecret drawer in the wardrobe, where were stored divers parchments, her\njewel-casket, and a miniature of her deceased husband; and in those last\nwords lies the secret of the red-room--the spell which kept it so lonely\nin spite of its grandeur.", "Mr. Reed had been dead nine years: it was in this chamber he breathed his\nlast; here he lay in state; hence his coffin was borne by the\nundertaker's men; and, since that day, a sense of dreary consecration had\nguarded it from frequent intrusion.", "My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me riveted,\nwas a low ottoman near the marble chimney-piece; the bed rose before me;\nto my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe, with subdued, broken\nreflections varying the gloss of its panels; to my left were the muffled\nwindows; a great looking-glass between them repeated the vacant majesty\nof the bed and room.", "I was not quite sure whether they had locked the\ndoor; and when I dared move, I got up and went to see.", "Alas!", "yes: no\njail was ever more secure.", "Returning, I had to cross before the looking-\nglass; my fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed.", "All looked colder and darker in that visionary hollow than in reality:\nand the strange little figure there gazing at me, with a white face and\narms specking the gloom, and glittering eyes of fear moving where all\nelse was still, had the effect of a real spirit: I thought it like one of\nthe tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening stories\nrepresented as coming out of lone, ferny dells in moors, and appearing\nbefore the eyes of belated travellers.", "I returned to my stool.", "Superstition was with me at that moment; but it was not yet her hour for\ncomplete victory: my blood was still warm; the mood of the revolted slave\nwas still bracing me with its bitter vigour; I had to stem a rapid rush\nof retrospective thought before I quailed to the dismal present.", "All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud indifference,\nall his mother's aversion, all the servants' partiality, turned up in my\ndisturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well.", "Why was I always\nsuffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned?", "Why\ncould I never please?", "Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?", "Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was respected.", "Georgiana, who had\na spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,\nwas universally indulged.", "Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls,\nseemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to purchase\nindemnity for every fault.", "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them.", "They were not\nbound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one\namongst them; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to them in temperament, in\ncapacity, in propensities; a useless thing, incapable of serving their\ninterest, or adding to their pleasure; a noxious thing, cherishing the\ngerms of indignation at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment.", "I\nknow that had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting, handsome,\nromping child--though equally dependent and friendless--Mrs. Reed would\nhave endured my presence more complacently; her children would have\nentertained for me more of the cordiality of fellow-feeling; the servants\nwould have been less prone to make me the scapegoat of the nursery.", "Daylight began to forsake the red-room; it was past four o'clock, and the\nbeclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.", "I heard the rain\nstill beating continuously on the staircase window, and the wind howling\nin the grove behind the hall; I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then\nmy courage sank.", "My habitual mood of humiliation, self-doubt, forlorn\ndepression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying ire.", "All said I was\nwicked, and perhaps I might be so; what thought had I been but just\nconceiving of starving myself to death?", "That certainly was a crime: and\nwas I fit to die?", "Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church\nan inviting bourne?", "In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie\nburied; and led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with\ngathering dread.", "I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own\nuncle--my mother's brother--that he had taken me when a parentless infant\nto his house; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of\nMrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children.", "Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise; and so she had,\nI dare say, as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she\nreally like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her,\nafter her husband's death, by any tie?", "It must have been most irksome to\nfind herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a\nparent to a strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial\nalien permanently intruded on her own family group.", "A singular notion dawned upon me.", "I doubted not--never doubted--that if\nMr. Reed had been alive he would have treated me kindly; and now, as I\nsat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls--occasionally also\nturning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror--I began to\nrecall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the\nviolation of their last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the\nperjured and avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr. Reed's spirit,\nharassed by the wrongs of his sister's child, might quit its\nabode--whether in the church vault or in the unknown world of the\ndeparted--and rise before me in this chamber.", "I wiped my tears and\nhushed my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a\npreternatural voice to comfort me, or elicit from the gloom some haloed\nface, bending over me with strange pity.", "This idea, consolatory in\ntheory, I felt would be terrible if realised: with all my might I\nendeavoured to stifle it--I endeavoured to be firm.", "Shaking my hair from\nmy eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly round the dark room;\nat this moment a light gleamed on the wall.", "Was it, I asked myself, a\nray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind?", "No; moonlight\nwas still, and this stirred; while I gazed, it glided up to the ceiling\nand quivered over my head.", "I can now conjecture readily that this streak\nof light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some\none across the lawn: but then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken\nas my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift darting beam was a\nherald of some coming vision from another world.", "My heart beat thick, my\nhead grew hot; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed the rushing of\nwings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed, suffocated: endurance\nbroke down; I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort.", "Steps came running along the outer passage; the key turned, Bessie and\nAbbot entered.", "\"Miss Eyre, are you ill?\"", "said Bessie.", "\"What a dreadful noise!", "it went quite through me!\"", "exclaimed Abbot.", "\"Take me out!", "Let me go into the nursery!\"", "was my cry.", "\"What for?", "Are you hurt?", "Have you seen something?\"", "again demanded\nBessie.", "\"Oh!", "I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come.\"", "I had now got\nhold of Bessie's hand, and she did not snatch it from me.", "\"She has screamed out on purpose,\" declared Abbot, in some disgust.", "\"And\nwhat a scream!", "If she had been in great pain one would have excused it,\nbut she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.\"", "\"What is all this?\"", "demanded another voice peremptorily; and Mrs. Reed\ncame along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling stormily.", "\"Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave orders that Jane Eyre should be left\nin the red-room till I came to her myself.\"", "\"Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma'am,\" pleaded Bessie.", "\"Let her go,\" was the only answer.", "\"Loose Bessie's hand, child: you\ncannot succeed in getting out by these means, be assured.", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene.", "The next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand: he took it,\nsmiling and saying, \"We shall do very well by-and-by.\"", "Then he laid me\ndown, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was\nnot disturbed during the night.", "Having given some further directions,\nand intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed; to my\ngrief: I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near\nmy pillow; and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and\nmy heart again sank: inexpressible sadness weighed it down.", "\"Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?\"", "asked Bessie, rather softly.", "Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentence might be\nrough.", "\"I will try.\"", "\"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?\"", "\"No, thank you, Bessie.\"", "\"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you\nmay call me if you want anything in the night.\"", "Wonderful civility this!", "It emboldened me to ask a question.", "\"Bessie, what is the matter with me?", "Am I ill?\"", "\"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll be better\nsoon, no doubt.\"", "Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near.", "I heard her\nsay--\n\n\"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for my life be\nalone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it's such a strange\nthing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything.", "Missis was\nrather too hard.\"", "Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering\ntogether for half-an-hour before they fell asleep.", "I caught scraps of\ntheir conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer\nthe main subject discussed.", "\"Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished\"--\"A great\nblack dog behind him\"--\"Three loud raps on the chamber door\"--\"A light in\nthe churchyard just over his grave,\" etc., etc.", "At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out.", "For me, the\nwatches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness; strained by\ndread: such dread as children only can feel.", "No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red-\nroom; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to\nthis day.", "Yes, Mrs. Reed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental\nsuffering, but I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did:\nwhile rending my heart-strings, you thought you were only uprooting my\nbad propensities.", "Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped in a shawl by\nthe nursery hearth.", "I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse\nailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which\nkept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop\nfrom my cheek than another followed.", "Yet, I thought, I ought to have\nbeen happy, for none of the Reeds were there, they were all gone out in\nthe carriage with their mama.", "Abbot, too, was sewing in another room,\nand Bessie, as she moved hither and thither, putting away toys and\narranging drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted\nkindness.", "This state of things should have been to me a paradise of\npeace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless\nfagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no\ncalm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.", "Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought up with her a tart\non a certain brightly painted china plate, whose bird of paradise,\nnestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in\nme a most enthusiastic sense of admiration; and which plate I had often\npetitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more\nclosely, but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a\nprivilege.", "This precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I was\ncordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it.", "Vain\nfavour!", "coming, like most other favours long deferred and often wished\nfor, too late!", "I could not eat the tart; and the plumage of the bird,\nthe tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and\ntart away.", "Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word _book_ acted as\na transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch Gulliver's Travels from\nthe library.", "This book I had again and again perused with delight.", "I\nconsidered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a vein of\ninterest deeper than what I found in fairy tales: for as to the elves,\nhaving sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells, under\nmushrooms and beneath the ground-ivy mantling old wall-nooks, I had at\nlength made up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of\nEngland to some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker,\nand the population more scant; whereas, Lilliput and Brobdignag being, in\nmy creed, solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might\none day, by taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields,\nhouses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds\nof the one realm; and the corn-fields forest-high, the mighty mastiffs,\nthe monster cats, the tower-like men and women, of the other.", "Yet, when\nthis cherished volume was now placed in my hand--when I turned over its\nleaves, and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm I had, till now,\nnever failed to find--all was eerie and dreary; the giants were gaunt\ngoblins, the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps, Gulliver a most\ndesolate wanderer in most dread and dangerous regions.", "I closed the\nbook, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the\nuntasted tart.", "Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the room, and having washed\nher hands, she opened a certain little drawer, full of splendid shreds of\nsilk and satin, and began making a new bonnet for Georgiana's doll.", "Meantime she sang: her song was--\n\n \"In the days when we went gipsying,\n A long time ago.\"", "I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for\nBessie had a sweet voice,--at least, I thought so.", "But now, though her\nvoice was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescribable sadness.", "Sometimes, preoccupied with her work, she sang the refrain very low, very\nlingeringly; \"A long time ago\" came out like the saddest cadence of a\nfuneral hymn.", "She passed into another ballad, this time a really doleful\none.", "\"My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary;\n Long is the way, and the mountains are wild;\n Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary\n Over the path of the poor orphan child.", "Why did they send me so far and so lonely,\n Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled?", "Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only\n Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.", "Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing,\n Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild,\n God, in His mercy, protection is showing,\n Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.", "Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,\n Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,\n Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,\n Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.", "There is a thought that for strength should avail me,\n Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled;\n Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me;\n God is a friend to the poor orphan child.\"", "\"Come, Miss Jane, don't cry,\" said Bessie as she finished.", "She might as\nwell have said to the fire, \"don't burn!\"", "but how could she divine the\nmorbid suffering to which I was a prey?", "In the course of the morning Mr.\nLloyd came again.", "\"What, already up!\"", "said he, as he entered the nursery.", "\"Well, nurse,\nhow is she?\"", "Bessie answered that I was doing very well.", "\"Then she ought to look more cheerful.", "Come here, Miss Jane: your name\nis Jane, is it not?\"", "\"Yes, sir, Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre; can you tell me what about?", "Have you any pain?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Oh!", "I daresay she is crying because she could not go out with Missis in\nthe carriage,\" interposed Bessie.", "\"Surely not!", "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!", "Can't she manage to walk at her\nage?", "She must be eight or nine years old.\"", "\"I was knocked down,\" was the blunt explanation, jerked out of me by\nanother pang of mortified pride; \"but that did not make me ill,\" I added;\nwhile Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.", "As he was returning the box to his waistcoat pocket, a loud bell rang for\nthe servants' dinner; he knew what it was.", "\"That's for you, nurse,\" said\nhe; \"you can go down; I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till you come back.\"", "Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was obliged to go, because\npunctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at Gateshead Hall.", "\"The fall did not make you ill; what did, then?\"", "pursued Mr. Lloyd when\nBessie was gone.", "\"I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till after dark.\"", "I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time.", "\"Ghost!", "What, you are a baby after all!", "You are afraid of ghosts?\"", "\"Of Mr. Reed's ghost I am: he died in that room, and was laid out there.", "Neither Bessie nor any one else will go into it at night, if they can\nhelp it; and it was cruel to shut me up alone without a candle,--so cruel\nthat I think I shall never forget it.\"", "\"Nonsense!", "And is it that makes you so miserable?", "Are you afraid now in\ndaylight?\"", "\"No: but night will come again before long: and besides,--I am\nunhappy,--very unhappy, for other things.\"", "\"What other things?", "Can you tell me some of them?\"", "How much I wished to reply fully to this question!", "How difficult it was\nto frame any answer!", "Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their\nfeelings; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought, they know\nnot how to express the result of the process in words.", "Fearful, however,\nof losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by\nimparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre,\nthough, as far as it went, true response.", "\"For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters.\"", "\"You have a kind aunt and cousins.\"", "Again I paused; then bunglingly enounced--\n\n\"But John Reed knocked me down, and my aunt shut me up in the red-room.\"", "Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.", "\"Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful house?\"", "asked he.", "\"Are\nyou not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at?\"", "\"It is not my house, sir; and Abbot says I have less right to be here\nthan a servant.\"", "\"Pooh!", "you can't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place?\"", "\"If I had anywhere else to go, I should be glad to leave it; but I can\nnever get away from Gateshead till I am a woman.\"", "\"Perhaps you may--who knows?", "Have you any relations besides Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"I think not, sir.\"", "\"None belonging to your father?\"", "\"I don't know.", "I asked Aunt Reed once, and she said possibly I might\nhave some poor, low relations called Eyre, but she knew nothing about\nthem.\"", "\"If you had such, would you like to go to them?\"", "I reflected.", "Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to\nchildren: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable\npoverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes,\nscanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty\nfor me was synonymous with degradation.", "\"No; I should not like to belong to poor people,\" was my reply.", "\"Not even if they were kind to you?\"", "I shook my head: I could not see how poor people had the means of being\nkind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be\nuneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing\ntheir children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the\nvillage of Gateshead: no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at\nthe price of caste.", "\"But are your relatives so very poor?", "Are they working people?\"", "\"I cannot tell; Aunt Reed says if I have any, they must be a beggarly\nset: I should not like to go a begging.\"", "\"Would you like to go to school?\"", "Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes\nspoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore\nbackboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise: John\nReed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were\nno rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school-discipline (gathered\nfrom the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to\nGateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain\naccomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought,\nequally attractive.", "She boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and\nflowers by them executed; of songs they could sing and pieces they could\nplay, of purses they could net, of French books they could translate;\ntill my spirit was moved to emulation as I listened.", "Besides, school\nwould be a complete change: it implied a long journey, an entire\nseparation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new life.", "\"I should indeed like to go to school,\" was the audible conclusion of my\nmusings.", "\"Well, well!", "who knows what may happen?\"", "said Mr. Lloyd, as he got up.", "\"The child ought to have change of air and scene,\" he added, speaking to\nhimself; \"nerves not in a good state.\"", "Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up\nthe gravel-walk.", "\"Is that your mistress, nurse?\"", "asked Mr. Lloyd.", "\"I should like to speak\nto her before I go.\"", "Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-room, and led the way out.", "In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume,\nfrom after-occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my\nbeing sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough\nadopted; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie when\nboth sat sewing in the nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as\nthey thought, asleep, \"Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid\nof such a tiresome, ill-conditioned child, who always looked as if she\nwere watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand.\"", "Abbot, I think,\ngave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "\"She never did so before,\" at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "That certainly was a crime: and\nwas I fit to die?", "\"I will try.\"", "Am I ill?\"", "\"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll be better\nsoon, no doubt.\"", "I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for\nBessie had a sweet voice,--at least, I thought so.", "\"Then she ought to look more cheerful.", "\"Surely not!", "\"I should like to speak\nto her before I go.\"" ]

[ "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I\nconsidered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a vein of\ninterest deeper than what I found in fairy tales: for as to the elves,\nhaving sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells, under\nmushrooms and beneath the ground-ivy mantling old wall-nooks, I had at\nlength made up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of\nEngland to some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker,\nand the population more scant; whereas, Lilliput and Brobdignag being, in\nmy creed, solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might\none day, by taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields,\nhouses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds\nof the one realm; and the corn-fields forest-high, the mighty mastiffs,\nthe monster cats, the tower-like men and women, of the other.", "Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.", "But now, though her\nvoice was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescribable sadness.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Are they working people?\"", "\"But it was always in her,\" was the reply.", "said Bessie.", "Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?", "\"Take me out!" ]

[ "\"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?\"", "\"No, thank you, Bessie.\"", "\"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you\nmay call me if you want anything in the night.\"", "Wonderful civility this!", "It emboldened me to ask a question.", "\"Bessie, what is the matter with me?", "Am I ill?\"", "\"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll be better\nsoon, no doubt.\"", "Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near.", "I heard her\nsay--\n\n\"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for my life be\nalone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it's such a strange\nthing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything.", "Missis was\nrather too hard.\"" ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "was my scarcely\nvoluntary demand.", "I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my\ntongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance:\nsomething spoke out of me over which I had no control.", "\"What?\"", "said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey\neye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm,\nand gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or\nfiend.", "I was now in for it.", "\"My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can\npapa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you\nwish me dead.\"", "Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed\nboth my ears, and then left me without a word.", "Bessie supplied the\nhiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a\ndoubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a\nroof.", "I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging\nin my breast.", "November, December, and half of January passed away.", "Christmas and the\nNew Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer;\npresents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given.", "From\nevery enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety\nconsisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and\nseeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin\nfrocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted; and\nafterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played\nbelow, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the\njingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken\nhum of conversation as the drawing-room door opened and closed.", "When\ntired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the\nsolitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not\nmiserable.", "To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company,\nfor in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind\nand companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings\nquietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of\nMrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen.", "But Bessie, as soon\nas she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the\nlively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing\nthe candle along with her.", "I then sat with my doll on my knee till the\nfire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse\nthan myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull\nred, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might,\nand sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib.", "To this crib I\nalways took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth\nof worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in\nloving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature\nscarecrow.", "It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I\ndoated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of\nsensation.", "I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and\nwhen it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it\nto be happy likewise.", "Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and\nlistened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she\nwould come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or\nperhaps to bring me something by way of supper--a bun or a\ncheese-cake--then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had\nfinished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me,\nand said, \"Good night, Miss Jane.\"", "When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me\nthe best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most\nintensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never\npush me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often\nwont to do.", "Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural\ncapacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of\nnarrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her\nnursery tales.", "She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and\nperson are correct.", "I remember her as a slim young woman, with black\nhair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she\nhad a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or\njustice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at\nGateshead Hall.", "It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning:\nBessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned\nto their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go\nand feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less\nso of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she\nthus obtained.", "She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for\nsaving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in\ndriving hard bargains with the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and\nslips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of\nhis young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and\nEliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a\nhandsome profit thereby.", "As to her money, she first secreted it in odd\ncorners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards\nhaving been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing\nher valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious\nrate of interest--fifty or sixty per cent.", "; which interest she exacted\nevery quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious\naccuracy.", "Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and\ninterweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of\nwhich she had found a store in a drawer in the attic.", "I was making my\nbed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before\nshe returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-\nnurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c.).", "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage-road,\nand just as I had dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage veiling\nthe panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a\ncarriage roll through.", "I watched it ascending the drive with\nindifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought\nvisitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the\ndoor-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was admitted.", "All this being\nnothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the\nspectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs\nof the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the casement.", "The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and\nhaving crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out\nthe crumbs on the window-sill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the\nnursery.", "\"Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there?", "Have you\nwashed your hands and face this morning?\"", "I gave another tug before I\nanswered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash\nyielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the\ncherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied--\n\n\"No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.\"", "\"Troublesome, careless child!", "and what are you doing now?", "You look quite\nred, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the\nwindow for?\"", "I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a\nhurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand,\ninflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with\nsoap, water, and a coarse towel; disciplined my head with a bristly\nbrush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the\nstairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast-room.", "I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was\nthere; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon\nme.", "I slowly descended.", "For nearly three months, I had never been\ncalled to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the\nbreakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were become for me awful regions, on\nwhich it dismayed me to intrude.", "I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-room door, and\nI stopped, intimidated and trembling.", "What a miserable little poltroon\nhad fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days!", "I\nfeared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour;\nten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the\nbreakfast-room bell decided me; I _must_ enter.", "\"Who could want me?\"", "I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the\nstiff door-handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts.", "\"What\nshould I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?--a man or a woman?\"", "The\nhandle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low,\nI looked up at--a black pillar!--such, at least, appeared to me, at first\nsight, the straight, narrow, sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug:\nthe grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft\nby way of capital.", "Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to\nme to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger\nwith the words: \"This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to\nyou.\"", "_He_, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and\nhaving examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which\ntwinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice,\n\"Her size is small: what is her age?\"", "\"Ten years.\"", "\"So much?\"", "was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for\nsome minutes.", "Presently he addressed me--\"Your name, little girl?\"", "\"Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman;\nbut then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the\nlines of his frame were equally harsh and prim.", "\"Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?\"", "Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a\ncontrary opinion: I was silent.", "Mrs. Reed answered for me by an\nexpressive shake of the head, adding soon, \"Perhaps the less said on that\nsubject the better, Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "\"Sorry indeed to hear it!", "she and I must have some talk;\" and bending\nfrom the perpendicular, he installed his person in the arm-chair opposite\nMrs. Reed's.", "\"Come here,\" he said.", "I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him.", "What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine!", "what a\ngreat nose!", "and what a mouth!", "and what large prominent teeth!", "\"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,\" he began, \"especially a\nnaughty little girl.", "Do you know where the wicked go after death?\"", "\"They go to hell,\" was my ready and orthodox answer.", "\"And what is hell?", "Can you tell me that?\"", "\"A pit full of fire.\"", "\"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for\never?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"What must you do to avoid it?\"", "I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable:\n\"I must keep in good health, and not die.\"", "\"How can you keep in good health?", "Children younger than you die daily.", "I\nburied a little child of five years old only a day or two since,--a good\nlittle child, whose soul is now in heaven.", "It is to be feared the same\ncould not be said of you were you to be called hence.\"", "Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on\nthe two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far\nenough away.", "\"I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having\nbeen the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress.\"", "\"Benefactress!", "benefactress!\"", "said I inwardly: \"they all call Mrs. Reed\nmy benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.\"", "\"Do you say your prayers night and morning?\"", "continued my interrogator.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Do you read your Bible?\"", "\"Sometimes.\"", "\"With pleasure?", "Are you fond of it?\"", "\"I like Revelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis and Samuel, and\na little bit of Exodus, and some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job\nand Jonah.\"", "\"And the Psalms?", "I hope you like them?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"No?", "oh, shocking!", "I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six\nPsalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a\ngingerbread-nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: 'Oh!", "the\nverse of a Psalm!", "angels sing Psalms;' says he, 'I wish to be a little\nangel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant\npiety.\"", "\"Psalms are not interesting,\" I remarked.", "\"That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change\nit: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and\ngive you a heart of flesh.\"", "I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that\noperation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed\ninterposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the\nconversation herself.", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to\nyou three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character\nand disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I\nshould be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep\na strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a\ntendency to deceit.", "I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may\nnot attempt to impose on Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature\nto wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully\nI obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were\nstill repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above.", "Now, uttered\nbefore a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived\nthat she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence\nwhich she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed\nthe feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future\npath; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an\nartful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury?", "\"Nothing, indeed,\" thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and\nhastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish.", "\"Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst; \"it\nis akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake\nburning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs.\nReed.", "I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.\"", "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"", "\"Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants,\nand I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege\nof her election.\"", "\"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I\nassure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was\nbecoming too irksome.\"", "\"No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning.", "I shall\nreturn to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good\nfriend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner.", "I shall\nsend Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there\nwill be no difficulty about receiving her.", "Good-bye.\"", "\"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst,\nand to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.\"", "\"I will, madam.", "Little girl, here is a book entitled the 'Child's\nGuide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing 'An account\nof the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to\nfalsehood and deceit.'\"", "With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn\nin a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.", "Mrs. Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was\nsewing, I was watching her.", "Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or\nseven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and\nstrong-limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese: she had a somewhat\nlarge face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow\nwas low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently\nregular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her\nskin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen; her constitution was\nsound as a bell--illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever\nmanager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control;\nher children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn;\nshe dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off\nhandsome attire.", "Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I examined her\nfigure; I perused her features.", "In my hand I held the tract containing\nthe sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been\npointed as to an appropriate warning.", "What had just passed; what Mrs.\nReed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their\nconversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every\nword as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment\nfomented now within me.", "Mrs. Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers\nat the same time suspended their nimble movements.", "\"Go out of the room; return to the nursery,\" was her mandate.", "My look or\nsomething else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with\nextreme though suppressed irritation.", "I got up, I went to the door; I\ncame back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up\nto her.", "_Speak_ I must: I had been trodden on severely, and _must_ turn: but how?", "What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist?", "I gathered my\nenergies and launched them in this blunt sentence--\n\n\"I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I\ndo not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except\nJohn Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl,\nGeorgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.\"", "Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice\ncontinued to dwell freezingly on mine.", "\"What more have you to say?\"", "she asked, rather in the tone in which a\nperson might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily\nused to a child.", "That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had.", "Shaking from\nhead to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued--\n\n\"I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again\nas long as I live.", "I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and\nif any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say\nthe very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with\nmiserable cruelty.\"", "\"How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?\"", "\"How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the _truth_.", "You\nthink I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or\nkindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity.", "I shall remember\nhow you thrust me back--roughly and violently thrust me back--into the\nred-room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony;\nthough I cried out, while suffocating with distress, 'Have mercy!", "Have\nmercy, Aunt Reed!'", "And that punishment you made me suffer because your\nwicked boy struck me--knocked me down for nothing.", "I will tell anybody\nwho asks me questions, this exact tale.", "People think you a good woman,\nbut you are bad, hard-hearted.", "_You_ are deceitful!\"", "{How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the truth: p30.jpg}\n\nEre I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with\nthe strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt.", "It seemed as if\nan invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-\nfor liberty.", "Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked\nfrightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her\nhands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she\nwould cry.", "\"Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you?", "Why do you\ntremble so violently?", "Would you like to drink some water?\"", "\"No, Mrs.", "Reed.\"", "\"Is there anything else you wish for, Jane?", "I assure you, I desire to be\nyour friend.\"", "\"Not you.", "You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful\ndisposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what\nyou have done.\"", "\"Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for\ntheir faults.\"", "\"Deceit is not my fault!\"", "I cried out in a savage, high voice.", "\"But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the\nnursery--there's a dear--and lie down a little.\"", "\"I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs.\nReed, for I hate to live here.\"", "\"I will indeed send her to school soon,\" murmured Mrs. Reed _sotto voce_;\nand gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.", "I was left there alone--winner of the field.", "It was the hardest battle I\nhad fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the\nrug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's\nsolitude.", "First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce\npleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my\npulses.", "A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot\ngive its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without\nexperiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction.", "A\nridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a\nmeet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same\nridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have\nrepresented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's\nsilence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the\ndreariness of my hated and hating position.", "Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine\nit seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and\ncorroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.", "Willingly\nwould I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly\nfrom experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her\nrepulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse\nof my nature.", "I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking;\nfain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre\nindignation.", "I took a book--some Arabian tales; I sat down and\nendeavoured to read.", "I could make no sense of the subject; my own\nthoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found\nfascinating.", "I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room: the\nshrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or\nbreeze, through the grounds.", "I covered my head and arms with the skirt\nof my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was\nquite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the\nfalling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept\nby past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together.", "I leaned against a\ngate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where\nthe short grass was nipped and blanched.", "It was a very grey day; a most\nopaque sky, \"onding on snaw,\" canopied all; thence flakes felt it\nintervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without\nmelting.", "I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and\nover again, \"What shall I do?--what shall I do?\"", "All at once I heard a clear voice call, \"Miss Jane!", "where are you?", "Come\nto lunch!\"", "It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step\ncame tripping down the path.", "\"You naughty little thing!\"", "she said.", "\"Why don't you come when you are\ncalled?\"", "Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been\nbrooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross.", "The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not\ndisposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I _was_\ndisposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart.", "I just put my two\narms round her and said, \"Come, Bessie!", "don't scold.\"", "The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to\nindulge in: somehow it pleased her.", "\"You are a strange child, Miss Jane,\" she said, as she looked down at me;\n\"a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I\nsuppose?\"", "I nodded.", "\"And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?\"", "\"What does Bessie care for me?", "She is always scolding me.\"", "\"Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing.", "You should\nbe bolder.\"", "\"What!", "to get more knocks?\"", "\"Nonsense!", "But you are rather put upon, that's certain.", "My mother said,\nwhen she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one\nof her own to be in your place.--Now, come in, and I've some good news\nfor you.\"", "\"I don't think you have, Bessie.\"", "\"Child!", "what do you mean?", "What sorrowful eyes you fix on me!", "Well, but\nMissis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this\nafternoon, and you shall have tea with me.", "I'll ask cook to bake you a\nlittle cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I\nam soon to pack your trunk.", "Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a\nday or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you.\"", "\"Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go.\"", "\"Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of\nme.", "Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so\nprovoking.\"", "\"I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I\nhave got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to\ndread.\"", "\"If you dread them they'll dislike you.\"", "\"As you do, Bessie?\"", "\"I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the\nothers.\"", "\"You don't show it.\"", "\"You little sharp thing!", "you've got quite a new way of talking.", "What\nmakes you so venturesome and hardy?\"", "\"Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides\"--I was going to say\nsomething about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second\nthoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head.", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And the Psalms?", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"", "\"Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants,\nand I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege\nof her election.\"", "Little girl, here is a book entitled the 'Child's\nGuide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing 'An account\nof the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to\nfalsehood and deceit.'\"", "_You_ are deceitful!\"", "I nodded.", "\"Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of\nme." ]

[ "I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my\ntongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance:\nsomething spoke out of me over which I had no control.", "was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for\nsome minutes.", "To this crib I\nalways took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth\nof worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in\nloving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature\nscarecrow.", "\"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,\" he began, \"especially a\nnaughty little girl.", "As to her money, she first secreted it in odd\ncorners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards\nhaving been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing\nher valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious\nrate of interest--fifty or sixty per cent.", "\"Psalms are not interesting,\" I remarked.", "\"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for\never?\"", "I took a book--some Arabian tales; I sat down and\nendeavoured to read.", "\"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I\nassure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was\nbecoming too irksome.\"", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion." ]

[ "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"" ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "Your Missis has not been my friend: she has\nbeen my foe.\"", "\"O Miss Jane!", "don't say so!\"", "\"Good-bye to Gateshead!\"", "cried I, as we passed through the hall and went\nout at the front door.", "The moon was set, and it was very dark; Bessie carried a lantern, whose\nlight glanced on wet steps and gravel road sodden by a recent thaw.", "Raw\nand chill was the winter morning: my teeth chattered as I hastened down\nthe drive.", "There was a light in the porter's lodge: when we reached it,\nwe found the porter's wife just kindling her fire: my trunk, which had\nbeen carried down the evening before, stood corded at the door.", "It\nwanted but a few minutes of six, and shortly after that hour had struck,\nthe distant roll of wheels announced the coming coach; I went to the door\nand watched its lamps approach rapidly through the gloom.", "\"Is she going by herself?\"", "asked the porter's wife.", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And how far is it?\"", "\"Fifty miles.\"", "\"What a long way!", "I wonder Mrs. Reed is not afraid to trust her so far\nalone.\"", "The coach drew up; there it was at the gates with its four horses and its\ntop laden with passengers: the guard and coachman loudly urged haste; my\ntrunk was hoisted up; I was taken from Bessie's neck, to which I clung\nwith kisses.", "\"Be sure and take good care of her,\" cried she to the guard, as he lifted\nme into the inside.", "\"Ay, ay!\"", "was the answer: the door was slapped to, a voice exclaimed \"All\nright,\" and on we drove.", "Thus was I severed from Bessie and Gateshead;\nthus whirled away to unknown, and, as I then deemed, remote and\nmysterious regions.", "I remember but little of the journey; I only know that the day seemed to\nme of a preternatural length, and that we appeared to travel over\nhundreds of miles of road.", "We passed through several towns, and in one,\na very large one, the coach stopped; the horses were taken out, and the\npassengers alighted to dine.", "I was carried into an inn, where the guard\nwanted me to have some dinner; but, as I had no appetite, he left me in\nan immense room with a fireplace at each end, a chandelier pendent from\nthe ceiling, and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled\nwith musical instruments.", "Here I walked about for a long time, feeling\nvery strange, and mortally apprehensive of some one coming in and\nkidnapping me; for I believed in kidnappers, their exploits having\nfrequently figured in Bessie's fireside chronicles.", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty: as it waned into dusk, I\nbegan to feel that we were getting very far indeed from Gateshead: we\nceased to pass through towns; the country changed; great grey hills\nheaved up round the horizon: as twilight deepened, we descended a valley,\ndark with wood, and long after night had overclouded the prospect, I\nheard a wild wind rushing amongst trees.", "Lulled by the sound, I at last dropped asleep; I had not long slumbered\nwhen the sudden cessation of motion awoke me; the coach-door was open,\nand a person like a servant was standing at it: I saw her face and dress\nby the light of the lamps.", "\"Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here?\"", "she asked.", "I answered\n\"Yes,\" and was then lifted out; my trunk was handed down, and the coach\ninstantly drove away.", "I was stiff with long sitting, and bewildered with the noise and motion\nof the coach: Gathering my faculties, I looked about me.", "Rain, wind, and\ndarkness filled the air; nevertheless, I dimly discerned a wall before me\nand a door open in it; through this door I passed with my new guide: she\nshut and locked it behind her.", "There was now visible a house or\nhouses--for the building spread far--with many windows, and lights\nburning in some; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were\nadmitted at a door; then the servant led me through a passage into a room\nwith a fire, where she left me alone.", "I stood and warmed my numbed fingers over the blaze, then I looked round;\nthere was no candle, but the uncertain light from the hearth showed, by\nintervals, papered walls, carpet, curtains, shining mahogany furniture:\nit was a parlour, not so spacious or splendid as the drawing-room at\nGateshead, but comfortable enough.", "I was puzzling to make out the\nsubject of a picture on the wall, when the door opened, and an individual\ncarrying a light entered; another followed close behind.", "The first was a tall lady with dark hair, dark eyes, and a pale and large\nforehead; her figure was partly enveloped in a shawl, her countenance was\ngrave, her bearing erect.", "\"The child is very young to be sent alone,\" said she, putting her candle\ndown on the table.", "She considered me attentively for a minute or two,\nthen further added--\n\n\"She had better be put to bed soon; she looks tired: are you tired?\"", "she\nasked, placing her hand on my shoulder.", "\"A little, ma'am.\"", "\"And hungry too, no doubt: let her have some supper before she goes to\nbed, Miss Miller.", "Is this the first time you have left your parents to\ncome to school, my little girl?\"", "I explained to her that I had no parents.", "She inquired how long they had\nbeen dead: then how old I was, what was my name, whether I could read,\nwrite, and sew a little: then she touched my cheek gently with her\nforefinger, and saying, \"She hoped I should be a good child,\" dismissed\nme along with Miss Miller.", "The lady I had left might be about twenty-nine; the one who went with me\nappeared some years younger: the first impressed me by her voice, look,\nand air.", "Miss Miller was more ordinary; ruddy in complexion, though of a\ncareworn countenance; hurried in gait and action, like one who had always\na multiplicity of tasks on hand: she looked, indeed, what I afterwards\nfound she really was, an under-teacher.", "Led by her, I passed from\ncompartment to compartment, from passage to passage, of a large and\nirregular building; till, emerging from the total and somewhat dreary\nsilence pervading that portion of the house we had traversed, we came\nupon the hum of many voices, and presently entered a wide, long room,\nwith great deal tables, two at each end, on each of which burnt a pair of\ncandles, and seated all round on benches, a congregation of girls of\nevery age, from nine or ten to twenty.", "Seen by the dim light of the\ndips, their number to me appeared countless, though not in reality\nexceeding eighty; they were uniformly dressed in brown stuff frocks of\nquaint fashion, and long holland pinafores.", "It was the hour of study;\nthey were engaged in conning over their to-morrow's task, and the hum I\nhad heard was the combined result of their whispered repetitions.", "Miss Miller signed to me to sit on a bench near the door, then walking up\nto the top of the long room she cried out--\n\n\"Monitors, collect the lesson-books and put them away!\"", "Four tall girls arose from different tables, and going round, gathered\nthe books and removed them.", "Miss Miller again gave the word of command--\n\n\"Monitors, fetch the supper-trays!\"", "The tall girls went out and returned presently, each bearing a tray, with\nportions of something, I knew not what, arranged thereon, and a pitcher\nof water and mug in the middle of each tray.", "The portions were handed\nround; those who liked took a draught of the water, the mug being common\nto all.", "When it came to my turn, I drank, for I was thirsty, but did not\ntouch the food, excitement and fatigue rendering me incapable of eating:\nI now saw, however, that it was a thin oaten cake shared into fragments.", "The meal over, prayers were read by Miss Miller, and the classes filed\noff, two and two, upstairs.", "Overpowered by this time with weariness, I\nscarcely noticed what sort of a place the bedroom was, except that, like\nthe schoolroom, I saw it was very long.", "To-night I was to be Miss\nMiller's bed-fellow; she helped me to undress: when laid down I glanced\nat the long rows of beds, each of which was quickly filled with two\noccupants; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished, and amidst\nsilence and complete darkness I fell asleep.", "The night passed rapidly.", "I was too tired even to dream; I only once\nawoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts, and the rain fall in\ntorrents, and to be sensible that Miss Miller had taken her place by my\nside.", "When I again unclosed my eyes, a loud bell was ringing; the girls\nwere up and dressing; day had not yet begun to dawn, and a rushlight or\ntwo burned in the room.", "I too rose reluctantly; it was bitter cold, and\nI dressed as well as I could for shivering, and washed when there was a\nbasin at liberty, which did not occur soon, as there was but one basin to\nsix girls, on the stands down the middle of the room.", "Again the bell\nrang: all formed in file, two and two, and in that order descended the\nstairs and entered the cold and dimly lit schoolroom: here prayers were\nread by Miss Miller; afterwards she called out--\n\n\"Form classes!\"", "A great tumult succeeded for some minutes, during which Miss Miller\nrepeatedly exclaimed, \"Silence!\"", "and \"Order!\"", "When it subsided, I saw\nthem all drawn up in four semicircles, before four chairs, placed at the\nfour tables; all held books in their hands, and a great book, like a\nBible, lay on each table, before the vacant seat.", "A pause of some\nseconds succeeded, filled up by the low, vague hum of numbers; Miss\nMiller walked from class to class, hushing this indefinite sound.", "A distant bell tinkled: immediately three ladies entered the room, each\nwalked to a table and took her seat.", "Miss Miller assumed the fourth\nvacant chair, which was that nearest the door, and around which the\nsmallest of the children were assembled: to this inferior class I was\ncalled, and placed at the bottom of it.", "Business now began, the day's Collect was repeated, then certain texts of\nScripture were said, and to these succeeded a protracted reading of\nchapters in the Bible, which lasted an hour.", "By the time that exercise\nwas terminated, day had fully dawned.", "The indefatigable bell now sounded\nfor the fourth time: the classes were marshalled and marched into another\nroom to breakfast: how glad I was to behold a prospect of getting\nsomething to eat!", "I was now nearly sick from inanition, having taken so\nlittle the day before.", "The refectory was a great, low-ceiled, gloomy room; on two long tables\nsmoked basins of something hot, which, however, to my dismay, sent forth\nan odour far from inviting.", "I saw a universal manifestation of\ndiscontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of those\ndestined to swallow it; from the van of the procession, the tall girls of\nthe first class, rose the whispered words--\n\n\"Disgusting!", "The porridge is burnt again!\"", "\"Silence!\"", "ejaculated a voice; not that of Miss Miller, but one of the\nupper teachers, a little and dark personage, smartly dressed, but of\nsomewhat morose aspect, who installed herself at the top of one table,\nwhile a more buxom lady presided at the other.", "I looked in vain for her\nI had first seen the night before; she was not visible: Miss Miller\noccupied the foot of the table where I sat, and a strange,\nforeign-looking, elderly lady, the French teacher, as I afterwards found,\ntook the corresponding seat at the other board.", "A long grace was said\nand a hymn sung; then a servant brought in some tea for the teachers, and\nthe meal began.", "Ravenous, and now very faint, I devoured a spoonful or two of my portion\nwithout thinking of its taste; but the first edge of hunger blunted, I\nperceived I had got in hand a nauseous mess; burnt porridge is almost as\nbad as rotten potatoes; famine itself soon sickens over it.", "The spoons\nwere moved slowly: I saw each girl taste her food and try to swallow it;\nbut in most cases the effort was soon relinquished.", "Breakfast was over,\nand none had breakfasted.", "Thanks being returned for what we had not got,\nand a second hymn chanted, the refectory was evacuated for the\nschoolroom.", "I was one of the last to go out, and in passing the tables,\nI saw one teacher take a basin of the porridge and taste it; she looked\nat the others; all their countenances expressed displeasure, and one of\nthem, the stout one, whispered--\n\n\"Abominable stuff!", "How shameful!\"", "A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began, during which the\nschoolroom was in a glorious tumult; for that space of time it seemed to\nbe permitted to talk loud and more freely, and they used their privilege.", "The whole conversation ran on the breakfast, which one and all abused\nroundly.", "Poor things!", "it was the sole consolation they had.", "Miss Miller\nwas now the only teacher in the room: a group of great girls standing\nabout her spoke with serious and sullen gestures.", "I heard the name of\nMr. Brocklehurst pronounced by some lips; at which Miss Miller shook her\nhead disapprovingly; but she made no great effort to check the general\nwrath; doubtless she shared in it.", "A clock in the schoolroom struck nine; Miss Miller left her circle, and\nstanding in the middle of the room, cried--\n\n\"Silence!", "To your seats!\"", "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"", "While the direction was being executed, the lady consulted moved slowly\nup the room.", "I suppose I have a considerable organ of veneration, for I\nretain yet the sense of admiring awe with which my eyes traced her steps.", "Seen now, in broad daylight, she looked tall, fair, and shapely; brown\neyes with a benignant light in their irids, and a fine pencilling of long\nlashes round, relieved the whiteness of her large front; on each of her\ntemples her hair, of a very dark brown, was clustered in round curls,\naccording to the fashion of those times, when neither smooth bands nor\nlong ringlets were in vogue; her dress, also in the mode of the day, was\nof purple cloth, relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of black velvet;\na gold watch (watches were not so common then as now) shone at her\ngirdle.", "Let the reader add, to complete the picture, refined features; a\ncomplexion, if pale, clear; and a stately air and carriage, and he will\nhave, at least, as clearly as words can give it, a correct idea of the\nexterior of Miss Temple--Maria Temple, as I afterwards saw the name\nwritten in a prayer-book intrusted to me to carry to church.", "The superintendent of Lowood (for such was this lady) having taken her\nseat before a pair of globes placed on one of the tables, summoned the\nfirst class round her, and commenced giving a lesson on geography; the\nlower classes were called by the teachers: repetitions in history,\ngrammar, &c., went on for an hour; writing and arithmetic succeeded, and\nmusic lessons were given by Miss Temple to some of the elder girls.", "The\nduration of each lesson was measured by the clock, which at last struck\ntwelve.", "The superintendent rose--\n\n\"I have a word to address to the pupils,\" said she.", "The tumult of cessation from lessons was already breaking forth, but it\nsank at her voice.", "She went on--\n\n\"You had this morning a breakfast which you could not eat; you must be\nhungry:--I have ordered that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served\nto all.\"", "The teachers looked at her with a sort of surprise.", "\"It is to be done on my responsibility,\" she added, in an explanatory\ntone to them, and immediately afterwards left the room.", "The bread and cheese was presently brought in and distributed, to the\nhigh delight and refreshment of the whole school.", "The order was now\ngiven \"To the garden!\"", "Each put on a coarse straw bonnet, with strings\nof coloured calico, and a cloak of grey frieze.", "I was similarly\nequipped, and, following the stream, I made my way into the open air.", "The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls so high as to\nexclude every glimpse of prospect; a covered verandah ran down one side,\nand broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little\nbeds: these beds were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate,\nand each bed had an owner.", "When full of flowers they would doubtless\nlook pretty; but now, at the latter end of January, all was wintry blight\nand brown decay.", "I shuddered as I stood and looked round me: it was an\ninclement day for outdoor exercise; not positively rainy, but darkened by\na drizzling yellow fog; all under foot was still soaking wet with the\nfloods of yesterday.", "The stronger among the girls ran about and engaged\nin active games, but sundry pale and thin ones herded together for\nshelter and warmth in the verandah; and amongst these, as the dense mist\npenetrated to their shivering frames, I heard frequently the sound of a\nhollow cough.", "As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me;\nI stood lonely enough: but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed;\nit did not oppress me much.", "I leant against a pillar of the verandah,\ndrew my grey mantle close about me, and, trying to forget the cold which\nnipped me without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed me within,\ndelivered myself up to the employment of watching and thinking.", "My\nreflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record: I hardly\nyet knew where I was; Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to\nan immeasurable distance; the present was vague and strange, and of the\nfuture I could form no conjecture.", "I looked round the convent-like\ngarden, and then up at the house--a large building, half of which seemed\ngrey and old, the other half quite new.", "The new part, containing the\nschoolroom and dormitory, was lit by mullioned and latticed windows,\nwhich gave it a church-like aspect; a stone tablet over the door bore\nthis inscription:--\n\n\"Lowood Institution.--This portion was rebuilt A.D. ---, by Naomi\nBrocklehurst, of Brocklehurst Hall, in this county.\"", "\"Let your light so\nshine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your\nFather which is in heaven.\"--St.", "Matt.", "v. 16.", "I read these words over and over again: I felt that an explanation\nbelonged to them, and was unable fully to penetrate their import.", "I was\nstill pondering the signification of \"Institution,\" and endeavouring to\nmake out a connection between the first words and the verse of Scripture,\nwhen the sound of a cough close behind me made me turn my head.", "I saw a\ngirl sitting on a stone bench near; she was bent over a book, on the\nperusal of which she seemed intent: from where I stood I could see the\ntitle--it was \"Rasselas;\" a name that struck me as strange, and\nconsequently attractive.", "In turning a leaf she happened to look up, and\nI said to her directly--\n\n\"Is your book interesting?\"", "I had already formed the intention of asking\nher to lend it to me some day.", "\"I like it,\" she answered, after a pause of a second or two, during which\nshe examined me.", "\"What is it about?\"", "I continued.", "I hardly know where I found the\nhardihood thus to open a conversation with a stranger; the step was\ncontrary to my nature and habits: but I think her occupation touched a\nchord of sympathy somewhere; for I too liked reading, though of a\nfrivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious\nor substantial.", "\"You may look at it,\" replied the girl, offering me the book.", "I did so; a brief examination convinced me that the contents were less\ntaking than the title: \"Rasselas\" looked dull to my trifling taste; I saw\nnothing about fairies, nothing about genii; no bright variety seemed\nspread over the closely-printed pages.", "I returned it to her; she\nreceived it quietly, and without saying anything she was about to relapse\ninto her former studious mood: again I ventured to disturb her--\n\n\"Can you tell me what the writing on that stone over the door means?", "What\nis Lowood Institution?\"", "\"This house where you are come to live.\"", "\"And why do they call it Institution?", "Is it in any way different from\nother schools?\"", "\"It is partly a charity-school: you and I, and all the rest of us, are\ncharity-children.", "I suppose you are an orphan: are not either your\nfather or your mother dead?\"", "\"Both died before I can remember.\"", "\"Well, all the girls here have lost either one or both parents, and this\nis called an institution for educating orphans.\"", "\"Do we pay no money?", "Do they keep us for nothing?\"", "\"We pay, or our friends pay, fifteen pounds a year for each.\"", "\"Then why do they call us charity-children?\"", "\"Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching, and the\ndeficiency is supplied by subscription.\"", "\"Who subscribes?\"", "\"Different benevolent-minded ladies and gentlemen in this neighbourhood\nand in London.\"", "\"Who was Naomi Brocklehurst?\"", "\"The lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records,\nand whose son overlooks and directs everything here.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because he is treasurer and manager of the establishment.\"", "\"Then this house does not belong to that tall lady who wears a watch, and\nwho said we were to have some bread and cheese?\"", "\"To Miss Temple?", "Oh, no!", "I wish it did: she has to answer to Mr.\nBrocklehurst for all she does.", "Mr. Brocklehurst buys all our food and\nall our clothes.\"", "\"Does he live here?\"", "\"No--two miles off, at a large hall.\"", "\"Is he a good man?\"", "\"He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of good.\"", "\"Did you say that tall lady was called Miss Temple?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what are the other teachers called?\"", "\"The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith; she attends to the work,\nand cuts out--for we make our own clothes, our frocks, and pelisses, and\neverything; the little one with black hair is Miss Scatcherd; she teaches\nhistory and grammar, and hears the second class repetitions; and the one\nwho wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief tied to her side with a\nyellow ribband, is Madame Pierrot: she comes from Lisle, in France, and\nteaches French.\"", "\"Do you like the teachers?\"", "\"Well enough.\"", "\"Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ---?--I cannot\npronounce her name as you do.\"", "\"Miss Scatcherd is hasty--you must take care not to offend her; Madame\nPierrot is not a bad sort of person.\"", "\"But Miss Temple is the best--isn't she?\"", "\"Miss Temple is very good and very clever; she is above the rest, because\nshe knows far more than they do.\"", "\"Have you been long here?\"", "\"Two years.\"", "\"Are you an orphan?\"", "\"My mother is dead.\"", "\"Are you happy here?\"", "\"You ask rather too many questions.", "I have given you answers enough for\nthe present: now I want to read.\"", "But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner; all re-entered the\nhouse.", "The odour which now filled the refectory was scarcely more\nappetising than that which had regaled our nostrils at breakfast: the\ndinner was served in two huge tin-plated vessels, whence rose a strong\nsteam redolent of rancid fat.", "I found the mess to consist of indifferent\npotatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat, mixed and cooked together.", "Of\nthis preparation a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned to each\npupil.", "I ate what I could, and wondered within myself whether every\nday's fare would be like this.", "After dinner, we immediately adjourned to the schoolroom: lessons\nrecommenced, and were continued till five o'clock.", "The only marked event of the afternoon was, that I saw the girl with whom\nI had conversed in the verandah dismissed in disgrace by Miss Scatcherd\nfrom a history class, and sent to stand in the middle of the large\nschoolroom.", "The punishment seemed to me in a high degree ignominious,\nespecially for so great a girl--she looked thirteen or upwards.", "I\nexpected she would show signs of great distress and shame; but to my\nsurprise she neither wept nor blushed: composed, though grave, she stood,\nthe central mark of all eyes.", "\"How can she bear it so quietly--so\nfirmly?\"", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "don't say so!\"", "\"Be sure and take good care of her,\" cried she to the guard, as he lifted\nme into the inside.", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "Four tall girls arose from different tables, and going round, gathered\nthe books and removed them.", "Miss Miller again gave the word of command--\n\n\"Monitors, fetch the supper-trays!\"", "As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me;\nI stood lonely enough: but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed;\nit did not oppress me much.", "I continued.", "\"And why do they call it Institution?", "\"The lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records,\nand whose son overlooks and directs everything here.\"", "\"Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ---?--I cannot\npronounce her name as you do.\"" ]

[ "asked the porter's wife.", "\"And what are the other teachers called?\"", "\"Be sure and take good care of her,\" cried she to the guard, as he lifted\nme into the inside.", "it was the sole consolation they had.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls so high as to\nexclude every glimpse of prospect; a covered verandah ran down one side,\nand broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little\nbeds: these beds were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate,\nand each bed had an owner.", "Is it in any way different from\nother schools?\"", "\"You ask rather too many questions.", "\"Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here?\"" ]

[ "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"" ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Even in that obscure position,\nMiss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant notice: she\nwas continually addressing to her such phrases as the following:--\n\n\"Burns\" (such it seems was her name: the girls here were all called by\ntheir surnames, as boys are elsewhere), \"Burns, you are standing on the\nside of your shoe; turn your toes out immediately.\"", "\"Burns, you poke\nyour chin most unpleasantly; draw it in.\"", "\"Burns, I insist on your\nholding your head up; I will not have you before me in that attitude,\"\n&c. &c.\n\nA chapter having been read through twice, the books were closed and the\ngirls examined.", "The lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles\nI., and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-\nmoney, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little\ndifficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns: her memory seemed\nto have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready\nwith answers on every point.", "I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would\npraise her attention; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out--\n\n\"You dirty, disagreeable girl!", "you have never cleaned your nails this\nmorning!\"", "Burns made no answer: I wondered at her silence.", "\"Why,\" thought I, \"does\nshe not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face,\nas the water was frozen?\"", "My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring me to hold a skein\nof thread: while she was winding it, she talked to me from time to time,\nasking whether I had ever been at school before, whether I could mark,\nstitch, knit, &c.; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my\nobservations on Miss Scatcherd's movements.", "When I returned to my seat,\nthat lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the\nimport; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small\ninner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying\nin her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end.", "This ominous\ntool she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtesy; then she\nquietly, and without being told, unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher\ninstantly and sharply inflicted on her neck a dozen strokes with the\nbunch of twigs.", "Not a tear rose to Burns' eye; and, while I paused from\nmy sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment\nof unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive face\naltered its ordinary expression.", "\"Hardened girl!\"", "exclaimed Miss Scatcherd; \"nothing can correct you of\nyour slatternly habits: carry the rod away.\"", "Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the\nbook-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket,\nand the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.", "The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the\nday at Lowood: the bit of bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five\no'clock had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long\nrestraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in\nthe morning--its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to\nsupply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the\nruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the confusion of many voices gave\none a welcome sense of liberty.", "On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her\npupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing\ngroups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the\nwindows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a\ndrift was already forming against the lower panes; putting my ear close\nto the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within, the\ndisconsolate moan of the wind outside.", "Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would\nhave been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the\nseparation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this obscure\nchaos would have disturbed my peace!", "as it was, I derived from both a\nstrange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to howl\nmore wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise\nto clamour.", "Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of\nthe fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns,\nabsorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a\nbook, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.", "\"Is it still 'Rasselas'?\"", "I asked, coming behind her.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"and I have just finished it.\"", "And in five minutes more she shut it up.", "I was glad of this.", "\"Now,\"\nthought I, \"I can perhaps get her to talk.\"", "I sat down by her on the\nfloor.", "\"What is your name besides Burns?\"", "\"Helen.\"", "\"Do you come a long way from here?\"", "\"I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.\"", "\"Will you ever go back?\"", "\"I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.\"", "\"You must wish to leave Lowood?\"", "\"No!", "why should I?", "I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it\nwould be of no use going away until I have attained that object.\"", "\"But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?\"", "\"Cruel?", "Not at all!", "She is severe: she dislikes my faults.\"", "\"And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist her.", "If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand; I should\nbreak it under her nose.\"", "\"Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr.\nBrocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great grief\nto your relations.", "It is far better to endure patiently a smart which\nnobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil\nconsequences will extend to all connected with you; and besides, the\nBible bids us return good for evil.\"", "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"", "At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her\ngrave face.", "\"Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one,\neven the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them\ngently; and, if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my meed\nliberally.", "One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that\neven her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure\nme of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly,\ncannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight.\"", "\"That is curious,\" said I, \"it is so easy to be careful.\"", "\"For _you_ I have no doubt it is.", "I observed you in your class this\nmorning, and saw you were closely attentive: your thoughts never seemed\nto wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you.", "Now,\nmine continually rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd,\nand collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very sound\nof her voice; I fall into a sort of dream.", "Sometimes I think I am in\nNorthumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a\nlittle brook which runs through Deepden, near our house;--then, when it\ncomes to my turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and having heard\nnothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no\nanswer ready.\"", "\"Yet how well you replied this afternoon.\"", "\"It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been reading had\ninterested me.", "This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was\nwondering how a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and\nunwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it\nwas that, with his integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no\nfarther than the prerogatives of the crown.", "If he had but been able to\nlook to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was\ntending!", "Still, I like Charles--I respect him--I pity him, poor murdered\nking!", "Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right\nto shed.", "How dared they kill him!\"", "Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well\nunderstand her--that I was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she\ndiscussed.", "I recalled her to my level.", "\"And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts wander then?\"", "\"No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to\nsay which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly\nagreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what\nI wished to gain.\"", "\"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?\"", "\"Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides\nme.", "There is no merit in such goodness.\"", "\"A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you.", "It is all I\never desire to be.", "If people were always kind and obedient to those who\nare cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way:\nthey would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would\ngrow worse and worse.", "When we are struck at without a reason, we should\nstrike back again very hard; I am sure we should--so hard as to teach the\nperson who struck us never to do it again.\"", "\"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are\nbut a little untaught girl.\"", "\"But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to\nplease them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me\nunjustly.", "It is as natural as that I should love those who show me\naffection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved.\"", "\"Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and\ncivilised nations disown it.\"", "\"How?", "I don't understand.\"", "\"It is not violence that best overcomes hate--nor vengeance that most\ncertainly heals injury.\"", "\"What then?\"", "\"Read the New Testament, and observe what Christ says, and how He acts;\nmake His word your rule, and His conduct your example.\"", "\"What does He say?\"", "\"Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate\nyou and despitefully use you.\"", "\"Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son\nJohn, which is impossible.\"", "In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I proceeded forthwith\nto pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments.", "Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or\nsoftening.", "Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected she would then make a\nremark, but she said nothing.", "\"Well,\" I asked impatiently, \"is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad\nwoman?\"", "\"She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your\ncast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you\nremember all she has done and said to you!", "What a singularly deep\nimpression her injustice seems to have made on your heart!", "No ill-usage\nso brands its record on my feelings.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay.", "My first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance of cold\nmeat and bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary\nmeals, was served round between the services.", "At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an exposed and hilly\nroad, where the bitter winter wind, blowing over a range of snowy summits\nto the north, almost flayed the skin from our faces.", "I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping\nline, her plaid cloak, which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close\nabout her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to keep up our\nspirits, and march forward, as she said, \"like stalwart soldiers.\"", "The\nother teachers, poor things, were generally themselves too much dejected\nto attempt the task of cheering others.", "How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when we got back!", "But, to the little ones at least, this was denied: each hearth in the\nschoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of great girls, and\nbehind them the younger children crouched in groups, wrapping their\nstarved arms in their pinafores.", "A little solace came at tea-time, in the shape of a double ration of\nbread--a whole, instead of a half, slice--with the delicious addition of\na thin scrape of butter: it was the hebdomadal treat to which we all\nlooked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath.", "I generally contrived to reserve\na moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was\ninvariably obliged to part with.", "The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart, the Church\nCatechism, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of St. Matthew; and\nin listening to a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible\nyawns attested her weariness.", "A frequent interlude of these performances\nwas the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half-dozen of little\ngirls, who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down, if not out of the\nthird loft, yet off the fourth form, and be taken up half dead.", "The\nremedy was, to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and\noblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished.", "Sometimes their\nfeet failed them, and they sank together in a heap; they were then\npropped up with the monitors' high stools.", "I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brocklehurst; and indeed that\ngentleman was from home during the greater part of the first month after\nmy arrival; perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend the archdeacon:\nhis absence was a relief to me.", "I need not say that I had my own reasons\nfor dreading his coming: but come he did at last.", "One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at Lowood), as I was sitting\nwith a slate in my hand, puzzling over a sum in long division, my eyes,\nraised in abstraction to the window, caught sight of a figure just\npassing: I recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline; and when,\ntwo minutes after, all the school, teachers included, rose _en masse_, it\nwas not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance\nthey thus greeted.", "A long stride measured the schoolroom, and presently\nbeside Miss Temple, who herself had risen, stood the same black column\nwhich had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead.", "I\nnow glanced sideways at this piece of architecture.", "Yes, I was right: it\nwas Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer,\nnarrower, and more rigid than ever.", "I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I\nremembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition,\n&c.; the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and\nthe teachers of my vicious nature.", "All along I had been dreading the\nfulfilment of this promise,--I had been looking out daily for the \"Coming\nMan,\" whose information respecting my past life and conversation was to\nbrand me as a bad child for ever: now there he was.", "He stood at Miss Temple's side; he was speaking low in her ear: I did not\ndoubt he was making disclosures of my villainy; and I watched her eye\nwith painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on\nme a glance of repugnance and contempt.", "I listened too; and as I\nhappened to be seated quite at the top of the room, I caught most of what\nhe said: its import relieved me from immediate apprehension.", "\"I suppose, Miss Temple, the thread I bought at Lowton will do; it struck\nme that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises, and I\nsorted the needles to match.", "You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to\nmake a memorandum of the darning needles, but she shall have some papers\nsent in next week; and she is not, on any account, to give out more than\none at a time to each pupil: if they have more, they are apt to be\ncareless and lose them.", "And, O ma'am!", "I wish the woollen stockings were\nbetter looked to!--when I was here last, I went into the kitchen-garden\nand examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a quantity of\nblack hose in a very bad state of repair: from the size of the holes in\nthem I was sure they had not been well mended from time to time.\"", "He paused.", "\"Your directions shall be attended to, sir,\" said Miss Temple.", "\"And, ma'am,\" he continued, \"the laundress tells me some of the girls\nhave two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them\nto one.\"", "\"I think I can explain that circumstance, sir.", "Agnes and Catherine\nJohnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last\nThursday, and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the\noccasion.\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.", "\"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur\ntoo often.", "And there is another thing which surprised me; I find, in\nsettling accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread\nand cheese, has twice been served out to the girls during the past\nfortnight.", "How is this?", "I looked over the regulations, and I find no\nsuch meal as lunch mentioned.", "Who introduced this innovation?", "and by\nwhat authority?\"", "\"I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,\" replied Miss Temple:\n\"the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat\nit; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner-time.\"", "\"Madam, allow me an instant.", "You are aware that my plan in bringing up\nthese girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence,\nbut to render them hardy, patient, self-denying.", "Should any little\naccidental disappointment of the appetite occur, such as the spoiling of\na meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish, the incident ought not\nto be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort\nlost, thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution;\nit ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of the pupils, by\nencouraging them to evince fortitude under temporary privation.", "A brief\naddress on those occasions would not be mistimed, wherein a judicious\ninstructor would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of\nthe primitive Christians; to the torments of martyrs; to the exhortations\nof our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciples to take up their\ncross and follow Him; to His warnings that man shall not live by bread\nalone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God; to His\ndivine consolations, \"If ye suffer hunger or thirst for My sake, happy\nare ye.\"", "Oh, madam, when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt\nporridge, into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile\nbodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal souls!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst again paused--perhaps overcome by his feelings.", "Miss\nTemple had looked down when he first began to speak to her; but she now\ngazed straight before her, and her face, naturally pale as marble,\nappeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material;\nespecially her mouth, closed as if it would have required a sculptor's\nchisel to open it, and her brow settled gradually into petrified\nseverity.", "Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the hearth with his hands behind\nhis back, majestically surveyed the whole school.", "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly.", "Miss Temple, that girl's hair must be cut off entirely; I will\nsend a barber to-morrow: and I see others who have far too much of the\nexcrescence--that tall girl, tell her to turn round.", "Tell all the first\nform to rise up and direct their faces to the wall.\"", "Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips, as if to smooth away\nthe involuntary smile that curled them; she gave the order, however, and\nwhen the first class could take in what was required of them, they\nobeyed.", "Leaning a little back on my bench, I could see the looks and\ngrimaces with which they commented on this manoeuvre: it was a pity Mr.\nBrocklehurst could not see them too; he would perhaps have felt that,\nwhatever he might do with the outside of the cup and platter, the inside\nwas further beyond his interference than he imagined.", "He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then\npronounced sentence.", "These words fell like the knell of doom--\n\n\"All those top-knots must be cut off.\"", "Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.", "\"Madam,\" he pursued, \"I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is not of\nthis world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts of the\nflesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness and\nsobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel; and each of the young\npersons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity\nitself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off; think of the\ntime wasted, of--\"\n\nMr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors, ladies, now\nentered the room.", "They ought to have come a little sooner to have heard\nhis lecture on dress, for they were splendidly attired in velvet, silk,\nand furs.", "The two younger of the trio (fine girls of sixteen and\nseventeen) had grey beaver hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich\nplumes, and from under the brim of this graceful head-dress fell a\nprofusion of light tresses, elaborately curled; the elder lady was\nenveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed with ermine, and she wore a\nfalse front of French curls.", "These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs. and the\nMisses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at the top of the\nroom.", "It seems they had come in the carriage with their reverend\nrelative, and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of the room\nupstairs, while he transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned\nthe laundress, and lectured the superintendent.", "They now proceeded to\naddress divers remarks and reproofs to Miss Smith, who was charged with\nthe care of the linen and the inspection of the dormitories: but I had no\ntime to listen to what they said; other matters called off and enchanted\nmy attention.", "Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr. Brocklehurst and Miss\nTemple, I had not, at the same time, neglected precautions to secure my\npersonal safety; which I thought would be effected, if I could only elude\nobservation.", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst.", "It came.", "\"A careless girl!\"", "said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after--\"It is\nthe new pupil, I perceive.\"", "And before I could draw breath, \"I must not\nforget I have a word to say respecting her.\"", "Then aloud: how loud it\nseemed to me!", "\"Let the child who broke her slate come forward!\"", "Of my own accord I could not have stirred; I was paralysed: but the two\ngreat girls who sit on each side of me, set me on my legs and pushed me\ntowards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple gently assisted me to his\nvery feet, and I caught her whispered counsel--\n\n\"Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident; you shall not be\npunished.\"", "The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.", "\"Another minute, and she will despise me for a hypocrite,\" thought I; and\nan impulse of fury against Reed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my\npulses at the conviction.", "I was no Helen Burns.", "\"Fetch that stool,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a very high one\nfrom which a monitor had just risen: it was brought.", "\"Place the child upon it.\"", "And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no condition to\nnote particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up to the\nheight of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of me, and\nthat a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of\nsilvery plumage extended and waved below me.", "Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.", "\"Ladies,\" said he, turning to his family, \"Miss Temple, teachers, and\nchildren, you all see this girl?\"", "Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed like burning-glasses\nagainst my scorched skin.", "\"You see she is yet young; you observe she possesses the ordinary form of\nchildhood; God has graciously given her the shape that He has given to\nall of us; no signal deformity points her out as a marked character.", "Who\nwould think that the Evil One had already found a servant and agent in\nher?", "Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case.\"", "A pause--in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel\nthat the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked,\nmust be firmly sustained.", "\"My dear children,\" pursued the black marble clergyman, with pathos,\n\"this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes my duty to warn\nyou, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a little\ncastaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and\nan alien.", "You must be on your guard against her; you must shun her\nexample; if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from your sports,\nand shut her out from your converse.", "Teachers, you must watch her: keep\nyour eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions,\npunish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible,\nfor (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native\nof a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its\nprayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut--this girl is--a liar!\"", "Now came a pause of ten minutes, during which I, by this time in perfect\npossession of my wits, observed all the female Brocklehursts produce\ntheir pocket-handkerchiefs and apply them to their optics, while the\nelderly lady swayed herself to and fro, and the two younger ones\nwhispered, \"How shocking!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.", "\"This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious and charitable lady\nwho adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and\nwhose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an\ningratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was\nobliged to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious\nexample should contaminate their purity: she has sent her here to be\nhealed, even as the Jews of old sent their diseased to the troubled pool\nof Bethesda; and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the\nwaters to stagnate round her.\"", "With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted the top button of\nhis surtout, muttered something to his family, who rose, bowed to Miss\nTemple, and then all the great people sailed in state from the room.", "Turning at the door, my judge said--\n\n\"Let her stand half-an-hour longer on that stool, and let no one speak to\nher during the remainder of the day.\"", "There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the\nshame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now\nexposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy.", "What my sensations were\nno language can describe; but just as they all rose, stifling my breath\nand constricting my throat, a girl came up and passed me: in passing, she\nlifted her eyes.", "What a strange light inspired them!", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "The lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles\nI., and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-\nmoney, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little\ndifficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns: her memory seemed\nto have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready\nwith answers on every point.", "The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the\nday at Lowood: the bit of bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five\no'clock had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long\nrestraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in\nthe morning--its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to\nsupply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the\nruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the confusion of many voices gave\none a welcome sense of liberty.", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to\nsay which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly\nagreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what\nI wished to gain.\"", "Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or\nsoftening.", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay.", "\"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur\ntoo often.", "Oh, madam, when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt\nporridge, into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile\nbodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal souls!\"", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?" ]

[ "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "A long stride measured the schoolroom, and presently\nbeside Miss Temple, who herself had risen, stood the same black column\nwhich had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead.", "How is this?", "Mr. Brocklehurst again paused--perhaps overcome by his feelings.", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "you have never cleaned your nails this\nmorning!\"", "I generally contrived to reserve\na moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was\ninvariably obliged to part with.", "exclaimed Miss Scatcherd; \"nothing can correct you of\nyour slatternly habits: carry the rod away.\"", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst." ]

[ "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay.", "My first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger." ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "She sat down on the\nground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head\nupon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian.", "I was the\nfirst who spoke--\n\n\"Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a\nliar?\"", "\"Everybody, Jane?", "Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you\ncalled so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.\"", "\"But what have I to do with millions?", "The eighty, I know, despise me.\"", "\"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises\nor dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.\"", "\"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?\"", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man:\nhe is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked.", "Had\nhe treated you as an especial favourite, you would have found enemies,\ndeclared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would\noffer you sympathy if they dared.", "Teachers and pupils may look coldly on\nyou for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their\nhearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long\nappear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression.", "Besides, Jane\"--she paused.", "\"Well, Helen?\"", "said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers\ngently to warm them, and went on--\n\n\"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own\nconscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be\nwithout friends.\"", "\"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if\nothers don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be\nsolitary and hated, Helen.", "Look here; to gain some real affection from\nyou, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly\nsubmit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to\nstand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest--\"\n\n\"Hush, Jane!", "you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too\nimpulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and\nput life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble\nself, or than creatures feeble as you.", "Besides this earth, and besides\nthe race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits:\nthat world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us,\nfor they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and\nshame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see\nour tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you\nare of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously\nrepeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in\nyour ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the\nseparation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward.", "Why,\nthen, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon\nover, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?\"", "I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted\nthere was an alloy of inexpressible sadness.", "I felt the impression of\nwoe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came; and when, having\ndone speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I\nmomentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her.", "Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she\ndrew me to her, and we reposed in silence.", "We had not sat long thus,\nwhen another person came in.", "Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a\nrising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through\na window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which\nwe at once recognised as Miss Temple.", "\"I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre,\" said she; \"I want you in my\nroom; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too.\"", "We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some\nintricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her\napartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful.", "Miss Temple\ntold Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one side of the\nhearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side.", "\"Is it all over?\"", "she asked, looking down at my face.", "\"Have you cried\nyour grief away?\"", "\"I am afraid I never shall do that.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else,\nwill now think me wicked.\"", "\"We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.", "Continue to\nact as a good girl, and you will satisfy us.\"", "\"Shall I, Miss Temple?\"", "\"You will,\" said she, passing her arm round me.", "\"And now tell me who is\nthe lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?\"", "\"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife.", "My uncle is dead, and he left me to her\ncare.\"", "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns.", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "Have you coughed much to-day?\"", "\"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.\"", "\"And the pain in your chest?\"", "\"It is a little better.\"", "Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then she\nreturned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low.", "She\nwas pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully--\n\n\"But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.\"", "She\nrang her bell.", "\"Barbara,\" she said to the servant who answered it, \"I have not yet had\ntea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.\"", "And a tray was soon brought.", "How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups\nand bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire!", "How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast!", "of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry)\ndiscerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.", "\"Barbara,\" said she, \"can you not bring a little more bread and butter?", "There is not enough for three.\"", "Barbara went out: she returned soon--\n\n\"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.\"", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.", "\"Oh, very well!\"", "returned Miss Temple; \"we must make it do, Barbara, I\nsuppose.\"", "And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling, \"Fortunately, I\nhave it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once.\"", "Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each\nof us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got\nup, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper,\ndisclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.", "\"I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you,\" said she,\n\"but as there is so little toast, you must have it now,\" and she\nproceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.", "We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least\ndelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which\nour hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the\ndelicate fare she liberally supplied.", "Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat\none on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and\nHelen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.", "Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state in her\nmien, of refined propriety in her language, which precluded deviation\ninto the ardent, the excited, the eager: something which chastened the\npleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling\nsense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns, I was\nstruck with wonder.", "The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her\nbeloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her\nown unique mind, had roused her powers within her.", "They woke, they\nkindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till\nthis hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the\nliquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more\nsingular than that of Miss Temple's--a beauty neither of fine colour nor\nlong eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of\nradiance.", "Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what\nsource I cannot tell.", "Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough,\nvigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid\neloquence?", "Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to\nme, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very\nbrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.", "They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past;\nof countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at:\nthey spoke of books: how many they had read!", "What stores of knowledge\nthey possessed!", "Then they seemed so familiar with French names and\nFrench authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple\nasked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her\nfather had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and\nconstrue a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration\nexpanding at every sounding line.", "She had scarcely finished ere the bell\nannounced bedtime!", "no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us\nboth, saying, as she drew us to her heart--\n\n\"God bless you, my children!\"", "Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly;\nit was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second\ntime breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.", "On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was\nexamining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we\nentered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow\nshe should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her\nshoulder.", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"", "Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece\nof pasteboard the word \"Slattern,\" and bound it like a phylactery round\nHelen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead.", "She wore\nit till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved\npunishment.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "\"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?\"", "Teachers and pupils may look coldly on\nyou for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their\nhearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long\nappear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression.", "Look here; to gain some real affection from\nyou, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly\nsubmit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to\nstand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest--\"\n\n\"Hush, Jane!", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns.", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "And a tray was soon brought.", "We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least\ndelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which\nour hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the\ndelicate fare she liberally supplied.", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"" ]

[ "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her\nbeloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her\nown unique mind, had roused her powers within her.", "\"Shall I, Miss Temple?\"", "\"Why?\"", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups\nand bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire!", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "\"Everybody, Jane?" ]

[ "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "All this I enjoyed often\nand fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for this unwonted liberty\nand pleasure there was a cause, to which it now becomes my task to\nadvert.", "Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when I speak of it\nas bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from the verge of a stream?", "Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not is another\nquestion.", "That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred\npestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the\nOrphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and\ndormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an\nhospital.", "Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of the pupils to\nreceive infection: forty-five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one\ntime.", "Classes were broken up, rules relaxed.", "The few who continued well\nwere allowed almost unlimited license; because the medical attendant\ninsisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them in health:\nand had it been otherwise, no one had leisure to watch or restrain them.", "Miss Temple's whole attention was absorbed by the patients: she lived in\nthe sick-room, never quitting it except to snatch a few hours' rest at\nnight.", "The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other\nnecessary preparations for the departure of those girls who were\nfortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove\nthem from the seat of contagion.", "Many, already smitten, went home only\nto die: some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the\nnature of the malady forbidding delay.", "While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood, and death its\nfrequent visitor; while there was gloom and fear within its walls; while\nits rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drug and the\npastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality, that\nbright May shone unclouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland out\nof doors.", "Its garden, too, glowed with flowers: hollyhocks had sprung up\ntall as trees, lilies had opened, tulips and roses were in bloom; the\nborders of the little beds were gay with pink thrift and crimson double\ndaisies; the sweetbriars gave out, morning and evening, their scent of\nspice and apples; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for most\nof the inmates of Lowood, except to furnish now and then a handful of\nherbs and blossoms to put in a coffin.", "But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the\nscene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from\nmorning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived\nbetter too.", "Mr. Brocklehurst and his family never came near Lowood now:\nhousehold matters were not scrutinised into; the cross housekeeper was\ngone, driven away by the fear of infection; her successor, who had been\nmatron at the Lowton Dispensary, unused to the ways of her new abode,\nprovided with comparative liberality.", "Besides, there were fewer to feed;\nthe sick could eat little; our breakfast-basins were better filled; when\nthere was no time to prepare a regular dinner, which often happened, she\nwould give us a large piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and\ncheese, and this we carried away with us to the wood, where we each chose\nthe spot we liked best, and dined sumptuously.", "My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising white and dry from\nthe very middle of the beck, and only to be got at by wading through the\nwater; a feat I accomplished barefoot.", "The stone was just broad enough\nto accommodate, comfortably, another girl and me, at that time my chosen\ncomrade--one Mary Ann Wilson; a shrewd, observant personage, whose\nsociety I took pleasure in, partly because she was witty and original,\nand partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease.", "Some years\nolder than I, she knew more of the world, and could tell me many things I\nliked to hear: with her my curiosity found gratification: to my faults\nalso she gave ample indulgence, never imposing curb or rein on anything I\nsaid.", "She had a turn for narrative, I for analysis; she liked to inform,\nI to question; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much\nentertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual intercourse.", "And where, meantime, was Helen Burns?", "Why did I not spend these sweet\ndays of liberty with her?", "Had I forgotten her?", "or was I so worthless as\nto have grown tired of her pure society?", "Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I\nhave mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance: she could only tell\nme amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose\nto indulge in; while, if I have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified\nto give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far\nhigher things.", "True, reader; and I knew and felt this: and though I am a defective\nbeing, with many faults and few redeeming points, yet I never tired of\nHelen Burns; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of\nattachment, as strong, tender, and respectful as any that ever animated\nmy heart.", "How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under\nall circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which\nill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled?", "But Helen was\nill at present: for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I\nknew not what room upstairs.", "She was not, I was told, in the hospital\nportion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was\nconsumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance,\nunderstood something mild, which time and care would be sure to\nalleviate.", "I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming\ndownstairs on very warm sunny afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple\ninto the garden; but, on these occasions, I was not allowed to go and\nspeak to her; I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not\ndistinctly; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a distance under the\nverandah.", "One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out very late with\nMary Ann in the wood; we had, as usual, separated ourselves from the\nothers, and had wandered far; so far that we lost our way, and had to ask\nit at a lonely cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a\nherd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood.", "When we got\nback, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's,\nwas standing at the garden door.", "Mary Ann remarked that she supposed\nsome one must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time of\nthe evening.", "She went into the house; I stayed behind a few minutes to\nplant in my garden a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and\nwhich I feared would wither if I left them till the morning.", "This done,\nI lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew\nfell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still\nglowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon\nrose with such majesty in the grave east.", "I was noting these things and\nenjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never\ndone before:--\n\n\"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying!", "This world is pleasant--it would be dreary to be called from it, and to\nhave to go who knows where?\"", "And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had\nbeen infused into it concerning heaven and hell; and for the first time\nit recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each\nside, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one\npoint where it stood--the present; all the rest was formless cloud and\nvacant depth; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging\namid that chaos.", "While pondering this new idea, I heard the front door\nopen; Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse.", "After she had seen\nhim mount his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I\nran up to her.", "\"How is Helen Burns?\"", "\"Very poorly,\" was the answer.", "\"Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what does he say about her?\"", "\"He says she'll not be here long.\"", "This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have only conveyed\nthe notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own\nhome.", "I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying; but I\nknew instantly now!", "It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns\nwas numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be\ntaken to the region of spirits, if such region there were.", "I experienced\na shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire--a\nnecessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay.", "\"She is in Miss Temple's room,\" said the nurse.", "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness.", "Indisposed to hesitate, and full of impatient\nimpulses--soul and senses quivering with keen throes--I put it back and\nlooked in.", "My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.", "Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its white curtains,\nthere stood a little crib.", "I saw the outline of a form under the\nclothes, but the face was hid by the hangings: the nurse I had spoken to\nin the garden sat in an easy-chair asleep; an unsnuffed candle burnt\ndimly on the table.", "Miss Temple was not to be seen: I knew afterwards\nthat she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-room.", "I\nadvanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I\npreferred speaking before I withdrew it.", "I still recoiled at the dread\nof seeing a corpse.", "\"Helen!\"", "I whispered softly, \"are you awake?\"", "She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I saw her face, pale,\nwasted, but quite composed: she looked so little changed that my fear was\ninstantly dissipated.", "\"Can it be you, Jane?\"", "she asked, in her own gentle voice.", "\"Oh!\"", "I thought, \"she is not going to die; they are mistaken: she could\nnot speak and look so calmly if she were.\"", "I got on to her crib and kissed her: her forehead was cold, and her cheek\nboth cold and thin, and so were her hand and wrist; but she smiled as of\nold.", "\"Why are you come here, Jane?", "It is past eleven o'clock: I heard it\nstrike some minutes since.\"", "\"I came to see you, Helen: I heard you were very ill, and I could not\nsleep till I had spoken to you.\"", "\"You came to bid me good-bye, then: you are just in time probably.\"", "\"Are you going somewhere, Helen?", "Are you going home?\"", "\"Yes; to my long home--my last home.\"", "\"No, no, Helen!\"", "I stopped, distressed.", "While I tried to devour my\ntears, a fit of coughing seized Helen; it did not, however, wake the\nnurse; when it was over, she lay some minutes exhausted; then she\nwhispered--\n\n\"Jane, your little feet are bare; lie down and cover yourself with my\nquilt.\"", "I did so: she put her arm over me, and I nestled close to her.", "After a\nlong silence, she resumed, still whispering--\n\n\"I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be\nsure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about.", "We all must die\none day, and the illness which is removing me is not painful; it is\ngentle and gradual: my mind is at rest.", "I leave no one to regret me\nmuch: I have only a father; and he is lately married, and will not miss\nme.", "By dying young, I shall escape great sufferings.", "I had not\nqualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have\nbeen continually at fault.\"", "\"But where are you going to, Helen?", "Can you see?", "Do you know?\"", "\"I believe; I have faith: I am going to God.\"", "\"Where is God?", "What is God?\"", "\"My Maker and yours, who will never destroy what He created.", "I rely\nimplicitly on His power, and confide wholly in His goodness: I count the\nhours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him,\nreveal Him to me.\"", "\"You are sure, then, Helen, that there is such a place as heaven, and\nthat our souls can get to it when we die?\"", "\"I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign\nmy immortal part to Him without any misgiving.", "God is my father; God is\nmy friend: I love Him; I believe He loves me.\"", "\"And shall I see you again, Helen, when I die?\"", "\"You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same\nmighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.\"", "Again I questioned, but this time only in thought.", "\"Where is that\nregion?", "Does it exist?\"", "And I clasped my arms closer round Helen; she\nseemed dearer to me than ever; I felt as if I could not let her go; I lay\nwith my face hidden on her neck.", "Presently she said, in the sweetest\ntone--\n\n\"How comfortable I am!", "That last fit of coughing has tired me a little;\nI feel as if I could sleep: but don't leave me, Jane; I like to have you\nnear me.\"", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "Classes were broken up, rules relaxed.", "But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the\nscene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from\nmorning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived\nbetter too.", "I was noting these things and\nenjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never\ndone before:--\n\n\"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying!", "This world is pleasant--it would be dreary to be called from it, and to\nhave to go who knows where?\"", "\"She is in Miss Temple's room,\" said the nurse.", "Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its white curtains,\nthere stood a little crib.", "she asked, in her own gentle voice.", "I had not\nqualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have\nbeen continually at fault.\"", "\"Where is God?" ]

[ "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not is another\nquestion.", "\"Oh!\"", "\"Yes; to my long home--my last home.\"", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred\npestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the\nOrphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and\ndormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an\nhospital.", "And where, meantime, was Helen Burns?", "\"You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same\nmighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.\"", "I rely\nimplicitly on His power, and confide wholly in His goodness: I count the\nhours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him,\nreveal Him to me.\"", "This done,\nI lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew\nfell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still\nglowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon\nrose with such majesty in the grave east." ]

[ "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "During these eight years my life was uniform: but not unhappy, because it\nwas not inactive.", "I had the means of an excellent education placed\nwithin my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and a desire to excel\nin all, together with a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially\nsuch as I loved, urged me on: I availed myself fully of the advantages\noffered me.", "In time I rose to be the first girl of the first class; then\nI was invested with the office of teacher; which I discharged with zeal\nfor two years: but at the end of that time I altered.", "Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued superintendent\nof the seminary: to her instruction I owed the best part of my\nacquirements; her friendship and society had been my continual solace;\nshe had stood me in the stead of mother, governess, and, latterly,\ncompanion.", "At this period she married, removed with her husband (a\nclergyman, an excellent man, almost worthy of such a wife) to a distant\ncounty, and consequently was lost to me.", "From the day she left I was no longer the same: with her was gone every\nsettled feeling, every association that had made Lowood in some degree a\nhome to me.", "I had imbibed from her something of her nature and much of\nher habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemed better regulated\nfeelings had become the inmates of my mind.", "I had given in allegiance to\nduty and order; I was quiet; I believed I was content: to the eyes of\nothers, usually even to my own, I appeared a disciplined and subdued\ncharacter.", "But destiny, in the shape of the Rev.", "Mr. Nasmyth, came between me and\nMiss Temple: I saw her in her travelling dress step into a post-chaise,\nshortly after the marriage ceremony; I watched the chaise mount the hill\nand disappear beyond its brow; and then retired to my own room, and there\nspent in solitude the greatest part of the half-holiday granted in honour\nof the occasion.", "I walked about the chamber most of the time.", "I imagined myself only to\nbe regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when my\nreflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that the afternoon\nwas gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawned on me,\nnamely, that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process; that\nmy mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple--or rather that\nshe had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her\nvicinity--and that now I was left in my natural element, and beginning to\nfeel the stirring of old emotions.", "It did not seem as if a prop were\nwithdrawn, but rather as if a motive were gone: it was not the power to\nbe tranquil which had failed me, but the reason for tranquillity was no\nmore.", "My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been\nof its rules and systems; now I remembered that the real world was wide,\nand that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and\nexcitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse,\nto seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.", "I went to my window, opened it, and looked out.", "There were the two wings\nof the building; there was the garden; there were the skirts of Lowood;\nthere was the hilly horizon.", "My eye passed all other objects to rest on\nthose most remote, the blue peaks; it was those I longed to surmount; all\nwithin their boundary of rock and heath seemed prison-ground, exile\nlimits.", "I traced the white road winding round the base of one mountain,\nand vanishing in a gorge between two; how I longed to follow it farther!", "I recalled the time when I had travelled that very road in a coach; I\nremembered descending that hill at twilight; an age seemed to have\nelapsed since the day which brought me first to Lowood, and I had never\nquitted it since.", "My vacations had all been spent at school: Mrs. Reed\nhad never sent for me to Gateshead; neither she nor any of her family had\never been to visit me.", "I had had no communication by letter or message\nwith the outer world: school-rules, school-duties, school-habits and\nnotions, and voices, and faces, and phrases, and costumes, and\npreferences, and antipathies--such was what I knew of existence.", "And now\nI felt that it was not enough; I tired of the routine of eight years in\none afternoon.", "I desired liberty; for liberty I gasped; for liberty I\nuttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing.", "I\nabandoned it and framed a humbler supplication; for change, stimulus:\nthat petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space: \"Then,\" I cried,\nhalf desperate, \"grant me at least a new servitude!\"", "Here a bell, ringing the hour of supper, called me downstairs.", "I was not free to resume the interrupted chain of my reflections till\nbedtime: even then a teacher who occupied the same room with me kept me\nfrom the subject to which I longed to recur, by a prolonged effusion of\nsmall talk.", "How I wished sleep would silence her.", "It seemed as if,\ncould I but go back to the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood\nat the window, some inventive suggestion would rise for my relief.", "Miss Gryce snored at last; she was a heavy Welshwoman, and till now her\nhabitual nasal strains had never been regarded by me in any other light\nthan as a nuisance; to-night I hailed the first deep notes with\nsatisfaction; I was debarrassed of interruption; my half-effaced thought\ninstantly revived.", "\"A new servitude!", "There is something in that,\" I soliloquised (mentally,\nbe it understood; I did not talk aloud), \"I know there is, because it\ndoes not sound too sweet; it is not like such words as Liberty,\nExcitement, Enjoyment: delightful sounds truly; but no more than sounds\nfor me; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to\nlisten to them.", "But Servitude!", "That must be matter of fact.", "Any one\nmay serve: I have served here eight years; now all I want is to serve\nelsewhere.", "Can I not get so much of my own will?", "Is not the thing\nfeasible?", "Yes--yes--the end is not so difficult; if I had only a brain\nactive enough to ferret out the means of attaining it.\"", "I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain: it was a chilly\nnight; I covered my shoulders with a shawl, and then I proceeded _to\nthink_ again with all my might.", "\"What do I want?", "A new place, in a new house, amongst new faces, under\nnew circumstances: I want this because it is of no use wanting anything\nbetter.", "How do people do to get a new place?", "They apply to friends, I\nsuppose: I have no friends.", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "I could not tell: nothing answered me; I then ordered my brain to find a\nresponse, and quickly.", "It worked and worked faster: I felt the pulses\nthrob in my head and temples; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos;\nand no result came of its efforts.", "Feverish with vain labour, I got up\nand took a turn in the room; undrew the curtain, noted a star or two,\nshivered with cold, and again crept to bed.", "A kind fairy, in my absence, had surely dropped the required suggestion\non my pillow; for as I lay down, it came quietly and naturally to my\nmind.--\"Those who want situations advertise; you must advertise in the\n_---shire Herald_.\"", "\"How?", "I know nothing about advertising.\"", "Replies rose smooth and prompt now:--\n\n\"You must enclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under a\ncover directed to the editor of the _Herald_; you must put it, the first\nopportunity you have, into the post at Lowton; answers must be addressed\nto J.E., at the post-office there; you can go and inquire in about a week\nafter you send your letter, if any are come, and act accordingly.\"", "This scheme I went over twice, thrice; it was then digested in my mind; I\nhad it in a clear practical form: I felt satisfied, and fell asleep.", "With earliest day, I was up: I had my advertisement written, enclosed,\nand directed before the bell rang to rouse the school; it ran thus:--\n\n\"A young lady accustomed to tuition\" (had I not been a teacher two\nyears?)", "\"is desirous of meeting with a situation in a private family\nwhere the children are under fourteen\" (I thought that as I was barely\neighteen, it would not do to undertake the guidance of pupils nearer my\nown age).", "\"She is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English\neducation, together with French, Drawing, and Music\" (in those days,\nreader, this now narrow catalogue of accomplishments, would have been\nheld tolerably comprehensive).", "\"Address, J.E., Post-office, Lowton, ---\nshire.\"", "This document remained locked in my drawer all day: after tea, I asked\nleave of the new superintendent to go to Lowton, in order to perform some\nsmall commissions for myself and one or two of my fellow-teachers;\npermission was readily granted; I went.", "It was a walk of two miles, and\nthe evening was wet, but the days were still long; I visited a shop or\ntwo, slipped the letter into the post-office, and came back through heavy\nrain, with streaming garments, but with a relieved heart.", "The succeeding week seemed long: it came to an end at last, however, like\nall sublunary things, and once more, towards the close of a pleasant\nautumn day, I found myself afoot on the road to Lowton.", "A picturesque\ntrack it was, by the way; lying along the side of the beck and through\nthe sweetest curves of the dale: but that day I thought more of the\nletters, that might or might not be awaiting me at the little burgh\nwhither I was bound, than of the charms of lea and water.", "My ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured for a pair of\nshoes; so I discharged that business first, and when it was done, I\nstepped across the clean and quiet little street from the shoemaker's to\nthe post-office: it was kept by an old dame, who wore horn spectacles on\nher nose, and black mittens on her hands.", "\"Are there any letters for J.E.?\"", "I asked.", "She peered at me over her spectacles, and then she opened a drawer and\nfumbled among its contents for a long time, so long that my hopes began\nto falter.", "At last, having held a document before her glasses for nearly\nfive minutes, she presented it across the counter, accompanying the act\nby another inquisitive and mistrustful glance--it was for J.E.", "\"Is there only one?\"", "I demanded.", "\"There are no more,\" said she; and I put it in my pocket and turned my\nface homeward: I could not open it then; rules obliged me to be back by\neight, and it was already half-past seven.", "Various duties awaited me on my arrival.", "I had to sit with the girls\nduring their hour of study; then it was my turn to read prayers; to see\nthem to bed: afterwards I supped with the other teachers.", "Even when we\nfinally retired for the night, the inevitable Miss Gryce was still my\ncompanion: we had only a short end of candle in our candlestick, and I\ndreaded lest she should talk till it was all burnt out; fortunately,\nhowever, the heavy supper she had eaten produced a soporific effect: she\nwas already snoring before I had finished undressing.", "There still\nremained an inch of candle: I now took out my letter; the seal was an\ninitial F.; I broke it; the contents were brief.", "\"If J.E., who advertised in the _---shire Herald_ of last Thursday,\npossesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she is in a position to give\nsatisfactory references as to character and competency, a situation can\nbe offered her where there is but one pupil, a little girl, under ten\nyears of age; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum.", "J.E.", "is\nrequested to send references, name, address, and all particulars to the\ndirection:--\n\n\"Mrs. Fairfax, Thornfield, near Millcote, ---shire.\"", "I examined the document long: the writing was old-fashioned and rather\nuncertain, like that of an elderly lady.", "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out.", "Next day new steps were to be taken; my plans could no longer be confined\nto my own breast; I must impart them in order to achieve their success.", "Having sought and obtained an audience of the superintendent during the\nnoontide recreation, I told her I had a prospect of getting a new\nsituation where the salary would be double what I now received (for at\nLowood I only got 15 pounds per annum); and requested she would break the\nmatter for me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee, and\nascertain whether they would permit me to mention them as references.", "She\nobligingly consented to act as mediatrix in the matter.", "The next day she\nlaid the affair before Mr. Brocklehurst, who said that Mrs. Reed must be\nwritten to, as she was my natural guardian.", "A note was accordingly\naddressed to that lady, who returned for answer, that \"I might do as I\npleased: she had long relinquished all interference in my affairs.\"", "This\nnote went the round of the committee, and at last, after what appeared to\nme most tedious delay, formal leave was given me to better my condition\nif I could; and an assurance added, that as I had always conducted myself\nwell, both as teacher and pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character\nand capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution, should\nforthwith be furnished me.", "This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month, forwarded a\ncopy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and got that lady's reply, stating that she\nwas satisfied, and fixing that day fortnight as the period for my\nassuming the post of governess in her house.", "I now busied myself in preparations: the fortnight passed rapidly.", "I had\nnot a very large wardrobe, though it was adequate to my wants; and the\nlast day sufficed to pack my trunk,--the same I had brought with me eight\nyears ago from Gateshead.", "The box was corded, the card nailed on.", "In half-an-hour the carrier was\nto call for it to take it to Lowton, whither I myself was to repair at an\nearly hour the next morning to meet the coach.", "I had brushed my black\nstuff travelling-dress, prepared my bonnet, gloves, and muff; sought in\nall my drawers to see that no article was left behind; and now having\nnothing more to do, I sat down and tried to rest.", "I could not; though I\nhad been on foot all day, I could not now repose an instant; I was too\nmuch excited.", "A phase of my life was closing to-night, a new one opening\nto-morrow: impossible to slumber in the interval; I must watch feverishly\nwhile the change was being accomplished.", "\"Miss,\" said a servant who met me in the lobby, where I was wandering\nlike a troubled spirit, \"a person below wishes to see you.\"", "\"The carrier, no doubt,\" I thought, and ran downstairs without inquiry.", "I\nwas passing the back-parlour or teachers' sitting-room, the door of which\nwas half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one ran out--\n\n\"It's her, I am sure!--I could have told her anywhere!\"", "cried the\nindividual who stopped my progress and took my hand.", "I looked: I saw a woman attired like a well-dressed servant, matronly,\nyet still young; very good-looking, with black hair and eyes, and lively\ncomplexion.", "\"Well, who is it?\"", "she asked, in a voice and with a smile I half\nrecognised; \"you've not quite forgotten me, I think, Miss Jane?\"", "In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously: \"Bessie!", "Bessie!", "Bessie!\"", "that was all I said; whereat she half laughed, half\ncried, and we both went into the parlour.", "By the fire stood a little\nfellow of three years old, in plaid frock and trousers.", "\"That is my little boy,\" said Bessie directly.", "\"Then you are married, Bessie?\"", "\"Yes; nearly five years since to Robert Leaven, the coachman; and I've a\nlittle girl besides Bobby there, that I've christened Jane.\"", "\"And you don't live at Gateshead?\"", "\"I live at the lodge: the old porter has left.\"", "\"Well, and how do they all get on?", "Tell me everything about them,\nBessie: but sit down first; and, Bobby, come and sit on my knee, will\nyou?\"", "but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother.", "\"You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so very stout,\" continued\nMrs. Leaven.", "\"I dare say they've not kept you too well at school: Miss\nReed is the head and shoulders taller than you are; and Miss Georgiana\nwould make two of you in breadth.\"", "\"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie?\"", "\"Very.", "She went up to London last winter with her mama, and there\neverybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her: but his\nrelations were against the match; and--what do you think?--he and Miss\nGeorgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped.", "It\nwas Miss Reed that found them out: I believe she was envious; and now she\nand her sister lead a cat and dog life together; they are always\nquarrelling--\"\n\n\"Well, and what of John Reed?\"", "\"Oh, he is not doing so well as his mama could wish.", "He went to college,\nand he got--plucked, I think they call it: and then his uncles wanted him\nto be a barrister, and study the law: but he is such a dissipated young\nman, they will never make much of him, I think.\"", "\"What does he look like?\"", "\"He is very tall: some people call him a fine-looking young man; but he\nhas such thick lips.\"", "\"And Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"Missis looks stout and well enough in the face, but I think she's not\nquite easy in her mind: Mr. John's conduct does not please her--he spends\na deal of money.\"", "\"Did she send you here, Bessie?\"", "\"No, indeed: but I have long wanted to see you, and when I heard that\nthere had been a letter from you, and that you were going to another part\nof the country, I thought I'd just set off, and get a look at you before\nyou were quite out of my reach.\"", "\"I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie.\"", "I said this laughing:\nI perceived that Bessie's glance, though it expressed regard, did in no\nshape denote admiration.", "\"No, Miss Jane, not exactly: you are genteel enough; you look like a\nlady, and it is as much as ever I expected of you: you were no beauty as\na child.\"", "I smiled at Bessie's frank answer: I felt that it was correct, but I\nconfess I was not quite indifferent to its import: at eighteen most\npeople wish to please, and the conviction that they have not an exterior\nlikely to second that desire brings anything but gratification.", "\"I dare say you are clever, though,\" continued Bessie, by way of solace.", "\"What can you do?", "Can you play on the piano?\"", "\"A little.\"", "There was one in the room; Bessie went and opened it, and then asked me\nto sit down and give her a tune: I played a waltz or two, and she was\ncharmed.", "\"The Miss Reeds could not play as well!\"", "said she exultingly.", "\"I always\nsaid you would surpass them in learning: and can you draw?\"", "\"That is one of my paintings over the chimney-piece.\"", "It was a landscape\nin water colours, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in\nacknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf,\nand which she had framed and glazed.", "\"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane!", "It is as fine a picture as any Miss\nReed's drawing-master could paint, let alone the young ladies themselves,\nwho could not come near it: and have you learnt French?\"", "\"Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it.\"", "\"And you can work on muslin and canvas?\"", "\"I can.\"", "\"Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane!", "I knew you would be: you will get\non whether your relations notice you or not.", "There was something I\nwanted to ask you.", "Have you ever heard anything from your father's\nkinsfolk, the Eyres?\"", "\"Never in my life.\"", "\"Well, you know Missis always said they were poor and quite despicable:\nand they may be poor; but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds\nare; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead\nand wanted to see you; Missis said you were at school fifty miles off; he\nseemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay: he was going on a\nvoyage to a foreign country, and the ship was to sail from London in a\nday or two.", "He looked quite a gentleman, and I believe he was your\nfather's brother.\"", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "I traced the white road winding round the base of one mountain,\nand vanishing in a gorge between two; how I longed to follow it farther!", "I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain: it was a chilly\nnight; I covered my shoulders with a shawl, and then I proceeded _to\nthink_ again with all my might.", "\"Is there only one?\"", "\"There are no more,\" said she; and I put it in my pocket and turned my\nface homeward: I could not open it then; rules obliged me to be back by\neight, and it was already half-past seven.", "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "\"I live at the lodge: the old porter has left.\"", "\"I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie.\"", "\"The Miss Reeds could not play as well!\"" ]

[ "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"I dare say you are clever, though,\" continued Bessie, by way of solace.", "It was a landscape\nin water colours, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in\nacknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf,\nand which she had framed and glazed.", "I had the means of an excellent education placed\nwithin my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and a desire to excel\nin all, together with a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially\nsuch as I loved, urged me on: I availed myself fully of the advantages\noffered me.", "Bessie!", "There is something in that,\" I soliloquised (mentally,\nbe it understood; I did not talk aloud), \"I know there is, because it\ndoes not sound too sweet; it is not like such words as Liberty,\nExcitement, Enjoyment: delightful sounds truly; but no more than sounds\nfor me; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to\nlisten to them.", "In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously: \"Bessie!", "\"He is very tall: some people call him a fine-looking young man; but he\nhas such thick lips.\"", "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters." ]

[ "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out." ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "\n\nA new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and\nwhen I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a\nroom in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on\nthe walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such\nornaments on the mantelpiece, such prints, including a portrait of George\nthe Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of\nthe death of Wolfe.", "All this is visible to you by the light of an oil\nlamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near\nwhich I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the\ntable, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen\nhours' exposure to the rawness of an October day: I left Lowton at four\no'clock a.m., and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight.", "Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in\nmy mind.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter\nif any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the\nnegative: so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private\nroom: and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are\ntroubling my thoughts.", "It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself\nquite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain\nwhether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by\nmany impediments from returning to that it has quitted.", "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "I bethought myself to ring\nthe bell.", "\"Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield?\"", "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "\"Thornfield?", "I don't know, ma'am; I'll inquire at the bar.\"", "He\nvanished, but reappeared instantly--\n\n\"Is your name Eyre, Miss?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Person here waiting for you.\"", "I jumped up, took my muff and umbrella, and hastened into the\ninn-passage: a man was standing by the open door, and in the lamp-lit\nstreet I dimly saw a one-horse conveyance.", "\"This will be your luggage, I suppose?\"", "said the man rather abruptly when\nhe saw me, pointing to my trunk in the passage.", "\"Yes.\"", "He hoisted it on to the vehicle, which was a sort of car, and\nthen I got in; before he shut me up, I asked him how far it was to\nThornfield.", "\"A matter of six miles.\"", "\"How long shall we be before we get there?\"", "\"Happen an hour and a half.\"", "He fastened the car door, climbed to his own seat outside, and we set\noff.", "Our progress was leisurely, and gave me ample time to reflect; I\nwas content to be at length so near the end of my journey; and as I\nleaned back in the comfortable though not elegant conveyance, I meditated\nmuch at my ease.", "\"I suppose,\" thought I, \"judging from the plainness of the servant and\ncarriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not a very dashing person: so much the better;\nI never lived amongst fine people but once, and I was very miserable with\nthem.", "I wonder if she lives alone except this little girl; if so, and if\nshe is in any degree amiable, I shall surely be able to get on with her;\nI will do my best; it is a pity that doing one's best does not always\nanswer.", "At Lowood, indeed, I took that resolution, kept it, and\nsucceeded in pleasing; but with Mrs. Reed, I remember my best was always\nspurned with scorn.", "I pray God Mrs. Fairfax may not turn out a second\nMrs. Reed; but if she does, I am not bound to stay with her!", "let the\nworst come to the worst, I can advertise again.", "How far are we on our\nroad now, I wonder?\"", "I let down the window and looked out; Millcote was behind us; judging by\nthe number of its lights, it seemed a place of considerable magnitude,\nmuch larger than Lowton.", "We were now, as far as I could see, on a sort\nof common; but there were houses scattered all over the district; I felt\nwe were in a different region to Lowood, more populous, less picturesque;\nmore stirring, less romantic.", "The roads were heavy, the night misty; my conductor let his horse walk\nall the way, and the hour and a half extended, I verily believe, to two\nhours; at last he turned in his seat and said--\n\n\"You're noan so far fro' Thornfield now.\"", "Again I looked out: we were passing a church; I saw its low broad tower\nagainst the sky, and its bell was tolling a quarter; I saw a narrow\ngalaxy of lights too, on a hillside, marking a village or hamlet.", "About\nten minutes after, the driver got down and opened a pair of gates: we\npassed through, and they clashed to behind us.", "We now slowly ascended a\ndrive, and came upon the long front of a house: candlelight gleamed from\none curtained bow-window; all the rest were dark.", "The car stopped at the\nfront door; it was opened by a maid-servant; I alighted and went in.", "\"Will you walk this way, ma'am?\"", "said the girl; and I followed her across\na square hall with high doors all round: she ushered me into a room whose\ndouble illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled me, contrasting\nas it did with the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours\ninured; when I could see, however, a cosy and agreeable picture presented\nitself to my view.", "A snug small room; a round table by a cheerful fire; an arm-chair high-\nbacked and old-fashioned, wherein sat the neatest imaginable little\nelderly lady, in widow's cap, black silk gown, and snowy muslin apron;\nexactly like what I had fancied Mrs. Fairfax, only less stately and\nmilder looking.", "She was occupied in knitting; a large cat sat demurely\nat her feet; nothing in short was wanting to complete the beau-ideal of\ndomestic comfort.", "A more reassuring introduction for a new governess\ncould scarcely be conceived; there was no grandeur to overwhelm, no\nstateliness to embarrass; and then, as I entered, the old lady got up and\npromptly and kindly came forward to meet me.", "\"How do you do, my dear?", "I am afraid you have had a tedious ride; John\ndrives so slowly; you must be cold, come to the fire.\"", "\"Mrs. Fairfax, I suppose?\"", "said I.", "\"Yes, you are right: do sit down.\"", "She conducted me to her own chair, and then began to remove my shawl and\nuntie my bonnet-strings; I begged she would not give herself so much\ntrouble.", "\"Oh, it is no trouble; I dare say your own hands are almost numbed with\ncold.", "Leah, make a little hot negus and cut a sandwich or two: here are\nthe keys of the storeroom.\"", "And she produced from her pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys, and\ndelivered them to the servant.", "\"Now, then, draw nearer to the fire,\" she continued.", "\"You've brought\nyour luggage with you, haven't you, my dear?\"", "\"Yes, ma'am.\"", "\"I'll see it carried into your room,\" she said, and bustled out.", "\"She treats me like a visitor,\" thought I.", "\"I little expected such a\nreception; I anticipated only coldness and stiffness: this is not like\nwhat I have heard of the treatment of governesses; but I must not exult\ntoo soon.\"", "She returned; with her own hands cleared her knitting apparatus and a\nbook or two from the table, to make room for the tray which Leah now\nbrought, and then herself handed me the refreshments.", "I felt rather\nconfused at being the object of more attention than I had ever before\nreceived, and, that too, shown by my employer and superior; but as she\ndid not herself seem to consider she was doing anything out of her place,\nI thought it better to take her civilities quietly.", "\"Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to-night?\"", "I asked,\nwhen I had partaken of what she offered me.", "\"What did you say, my dear?", "I am a little deaf,\" returned the good lady,\napproaching her ear to my mouth.", "I repeated the question more distinctly.", "\"Miss Fairfax?", "Oh, you mean Miss Varens!", "Varens is the name of your\nfuture pupil.\"", "\"Indeed!", "Then she is not your daughter?\"", "\"No,--I have no family.\"", "I should have followed up my first inquiry, by asking in what way Miss\nVarens was connected with her; but I recollected it was not polite to ask\ntoo many questions: besides, I was sure to hear in time.", "\"I am so glad,\" she continued, as she sat down opposite to me, and took\nthe cat on her knee; \"I am so glad you are come; it will be quite\npleasant living here now with a companion.", "To be sure it is pleasant at\nany time; for Thornfield is a fine old hall, rather neglected of late\nyears perhaps, but still it is a respectable place; yet you know in\nwinter-time one feels dreary quite alone in the best quarters.", "I say\nalone--Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John and his wife are very\ndecent people; but then you see they are only servants, and one can't\nconverse with them on terms of equality: one must keep them at due\ndistance, for fear of losing one's authority.", "I'm sure last winter (it\nwas a very severe one, if you recollect, and when it did not snow, it\nrained and blew), not a creature but the butcher and postman came to the\nhouse, from November till February; and I really got quite melancholy\nwith sitting night after night alone; I had Leah in to read to me\nsometimes; but I don't think the poor girl liked the task much: she felt\nit confining.", "In spring and summer one got on better: sunshine and long\ndays make such a difference; and then, just at the commencement of this\nautumn, little Adela Varens came and her nurse: a child makes a house\nalive all at once; and now you are here I shall be quite gay.\"", "My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew\nmy chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she\nmight find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.", "\"But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night,\" said she; \"it is on the\nstroke of twelve now, and you have been travelling all day: you must feel\ntired.", "If you have got your feet well warmed, I'll show you your\nbedroom.", "I've had the room next to mine prepared for you; it is only a\nsmall apartment, but I thought you would like it better than one of the\nlarge front chambers: to be sure they have finer furniture, but they are\nso dreary and solitary, I never sleep in them myself.\"", "I thanked her for her considerate choice, and as I really felt fatigued\nwith my long journey, expressed my readiness to retire.", "She took her\ncandle, and I followed her from the room.", "First she went to see if the\nhall-door was fastened; having taken the key from the lock, she led the\nway upstairs.", "The steps and banisters were of oak; the staircase window\nwas high and latticed; both it and the long gallery into which the\nbedroom doors opened looked as if they belonged to a church rather than a\nhouse.", "A very chill and vault-like air pervaded the stairs and gallery,\nsuggesting cheerless ideas of space and solitude; and I was glad, when\nfinally ushered into my chamber, to find it of small dimensions, and\nfurnished in ordinary, modern style.", "When Mrs. Fairfax had bidden me a kind good-night, and I had fastened my\ndoor, gazed leisurely round, and in some measure effaced the eerie\nimpression made by that wide hall, that dark and spacious staircase, and\nthat long, cold gallery, by the livelier aspect of my little room, I\nremembered that, after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety, I was\nnow at last in safe haven.", "The impulse of gratitude swelled my heart,\nand I knelt down at the bedside, and offered up thanks where thanks were\ndue; not forgetting, ere I rose, to implore aid on my further path, and\nthe power of meriting the kindness which seemed so frankly offered me\nbefore it was earned.", "My couch had no thorns in it that night; my\nsolitary room no fears.", "At once weary and content, I slept soon and\nsoundly: when I awoke it was broad day.", "The chamber looked such a bright little place to me as the sun shone in\nbetween the gay blue chintz window curtains, showing papered walls and a\ncarpeted floor, so unlike the bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood,\nthat my spirits rose at the view.", "Externals have a great effect on the\nyoung: I thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for me, one that\nwas to have its flowers and pleasures, as well as its thorns and toils.", "My faculties, roused by the change of scene, the new field offered to\nhope, seemed all astir.", "I cannot precisely define what they expected,\nbut it was something pleasant: not perhaps that day or that month, but at\nan indefinite future period.", "I rose; I dressed myself with care: obliged to be plain--for I had no\narticle of attire that was not made with extreme simplicity--I was still\nby nature solicitous to be neat.", "It was not my habit to be disregardful\nof appearance or careless of the impression I made: on the contrary, I\never wished to look as well as I could, and to please as much as my want\nof beauty would permit.", "I sometimes regretted that I was not handsomer;\nI sometimes wished to have rosy cheeks, a straight nose, and small cherry\nmouth; I desired to be tall, stately, and finely developed in figure; I\nfelt it a misfortune that I was so little, so pale, and had features so\nirregular and so marked.", "And why had I these aspirations and these\nregrets?", "It would be difficult to say: I could not then distinctly say\nit to myself; yet I had a reason, and a logical, natural reason too.", "However, when I had brushed my hair very smooth, and put on my black\nfrock--which, Quakerlike as it was, at least had the merit of fitting to\na nicety--and adjusted my clean white tucker, I thought I should do\nrespectably enough to appear before Mrs. Fairfax, and that my new pupil\nwould not at least recoil from me with antipathy.", "Having opened my\nchamber window, and seen that I left all things straight and neat on the\ntoilet table, I ventured forth.", "Traversing the long and matted gallery, I descended the slippery steps of\noak; then I gained the hall: I halted there a minute; I looked at some\npictures on the walls (one, I remember, represented a grim man in a\ncuirass, and one a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace), at a\nbronze lamp pendent from the ceiling, at a great clock whose case was of\noak curiously carved, and ebon black with time and rubbing.", "Everything\nappeared very stately and imposing to me; but then I was so little\naccustomed to grandeur.", "The hall-door, which was half of glass, stood\nopen; I stepped over the threshold.", "It was a fine autumn morning; the\nearly sun shone serenely on embrowned groves and still green fields;\nadvancing on to the lawn, I looked up and surveyed the front of the\nmansion.", "It was three storeys high, of proportions not vast, though\nconsiderable: a gentleman's manor-house, not a nobleman's seat:\nbattlements round the top gave it a picturesque look.", "Its grey front\nstood out well from the background of a rookery, whose cawing tenants\nwere now on the wing: they flew over the lawn and grounds to alight in a\ngreat meadow, from which these were separated by a sunk fence, and where\nan array of mighty old thorn trees, strong, knotty, and broad as oaks, at\nonce explained the etymology of the mansion's designation.", "Farther off\nwere hills: not so lofty as those round Lowood, nor so craggy, nor so\nlike barriers of separation from the living world; but yet quiet and\nlonely hills enough, and seeming to embrace Thornfield with a seclusion I\nhad not expected to find existent so near the stirring locality of\nMillcote.", "A little hamlet, whose roofs were blent with trees, straggled\nup the side of one of these hills; the church of the district stood\nnearer Thornfield: its old tower-top looked over a knoll between the\nhouse and gates.", "I was yet enjoying the calm prospect and pleasant fresh air, yet\nlistening with delight to the cawing of the rooks, yet surveying the\nwide, hoary front of the hall, and thinking what a great place it was for\none lonely little dame like Mrs. Fairfax to inhabit, when that lady\nappeared at the door.", "\"What!", "out already?\"", "said she.", "\"I see you are an early riser.\"", "I went\nup to her, and was received with an affable kiss and shake of the hand.", "\"How do you like Thornfield?\"", "she asked.", "I told her I liked it very\nmuch.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"it is a pretty place; but I fear it will be getting out\nof order, unless Mr. Rochester should take it into his head to come and\nreside here permanently; or, at least, visit it rather oftener: great\nhouses and fine grounds require the presence of the proprietor.\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester!\"", "I exclaimed.", "\"Who is he?\"", "\"The owner of Thornfield,\" she responded quietly.", "\"Did you not know he\nwas called Rochester?\"", "Of course I did not--I had never heard of him before; but the old lady\nseemed to regard his existence as a universally understood fact, with\nwhich everybody must be acquainted by instinct.", "\"I thought,\" I continued, \"Thornfield belonged to you.\"", "\"To me?", "Bless you, child; what an idea!", "To me!", "I am only the\nhousekeeper--the manager.", "To be sure I am distantly related to the\nRochesters by the mother's side, or at least my husband was; he was a\nclergyman, incumbent of Hay--that little village yonder on the hill--and\nthat church near the gates was his.", "The present Mr. Rochester's mother\nwas a Fairfax, and second cousin to my husband: but I never presume on\nthe connection--in fact, it is nothing to me; I consider myself quite in\nthe light of an ordinary housekeeper: my employer is always civil, and I\nexpect nothing more.\"", "\"And the little girl--my pupil!\"", "\"She is Mr. Rochester's ward; he commissioned me to find a governess for\nher.", "He intended to have her brought up in ---shire, I believe.", "Here\nshe comes, with her 'bonne,' as she calls her nurse.\"", "The enigma then\nwas explained: this affable and kind little widow was no great dame; but\na dependant like myself.", "I did not like her the worse for that; on the\ncontrary, I felt better pleased than ever.", "The equality between her and\nme was real; not the mere result of condescension on her part: so much\nthe better--my position was all the freer.", "As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl, followed by her\nattendant, came running up the lawn.", "I looked at my pupil, who did not\nat first appear to notice me: she was quite a child, perhaps seven or\neight years old, slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a\nredundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.", "\"Good morning, Miss Adela,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"", "She\napproached.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "said she, pointing to me, and addressing her\nnurse; who answered--\n\n\"Mais oui, certainement.\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "I inquired, amazed at hearing the French language.", "\"The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the Continent; and, I\nbelieve, never left it till within six months ago.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"", "Fortunately I had had the advantage of being taught French by a French\nlady; and as I had always made a point of conversing with Madame Pierrot\nas often as I could, and had besides, during the last seven years, learnt\na portion of French by heart daily--applying myself to take pains with my\naccent, and imitating as closely as possible the pronunciation of my\nteacher, I had acquired a certain degree of readiness and correctness in\nthe language, and was not likely to be much at a loss with Mademoiselle\nAdela.", "She came and shook hand with me when she heard that I was her\ngoverness; and as I led her in to breakfast, I addressed some phrases to\nher in her own tongue: she replied briefly at first, but after we were\nseated at the table, and she had examined me some ten minutes with her\nlarge hazel eyes, she suddenly commenced chattering fluently.", "\"Ah!\"", "cried she, in French, \"you speak my language as well as Mr.\nRochester does: I can talk to you as I can to him, and so can Sophie.", "She\nwill be glad: nobody here understands her: Madame Fairfax is all English.", "Sophie is my nurse; she came with me over the sea in a great ship with a\nchimney that smoked--how it did smoke!--and I was sick, and so was\nSophie, and so was Mr. Rochester.", "Mr. Rochester lay down on a sofa in a\npretty room called the salon, and Sophie and I had little beds in another\nplace.", "I nearly fell out of mine; it was like a shelf.", "And\nMademoiselle--what is your name?\"", "\"Eyre--Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Aire?", "Bah!", "I cannot say it.", "Well, our ship stopped in the morning,\nbefore it was quite daylight, at a great city--a huge city, with very\ndark houses and all smoky; not at all like the pretty clean town I came\nfrom; and Mr. Rochester carried me in his arms over a plank to the land,\nand Sophie came after, and we all got into a coach, which took us to a\nbeautiful large house, larger than this and finer, called an hotel.", "We\nstayed there nearly a week: I and Sophie used to walk every day in a\ngreat green place full of trees, called the Park; and there were many\nchildren there besides me, and a pond with beautiful birds in it, that I\nfed with crumbs.\"", "\"Can you understand her when she runs on so fast?\"", "asked Mrs. Fairfax.", "I understood her very well, for I had been accustomed to the fluent\ntongue of Madame Pierrot.", "\"I wish,\" continued the good lady, \"you would ask her a question or two\nabout her parents: I wonder if she remembers them?\"", "\"Adele,\" I inquired, \"with whom did you live when you were in that pretty\nclean town you spoke of?\"", "\"I lived long ago with mama; but she is gone to the Holy Virgin.", "Mama\nused to teach me to dance and sing, and to say verses.", "A great many\ngentlemen and ladies came to see mama, and I used to dance before them,\nor to sit on their knees and sing to them: I liked it.", "Shall I let you\nhear me sing now?\"", "She had finished her breakfast, so I permitted her to give a specimen of\nher accomplishments.", "Descending from her chair, she came and placed\nherself on my knee; then, folding her little hands demurely before her,\nshaking back her curls and lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she commenced\nsinging a song from some opera.", "It was the strain of a forsaken lady,\nwho, after bewailing the perfidy of her lover, calls pride to her aid;\ndesires her attendant to deck her in her brightest jewels and richest\nrobes, and resolves to meet the false one that night at a ball, and prove\nto him, by the gaiety of her demeanour, how little his desertion has\naffected her.", "The subject seemed strangely chosen for an infant singer; but I suppose\nthe point of the exhibition lay in hearing the notes of love and jealousy\nwarbled with the lisp of childhood; and in very bad taste that point was:\nat least I thought so.", "Adele sang the canzonette tunefully enough, and with the _naivete_ of her\nage.", "This achieved, she jumped from my knee and said, \"Now,\nMademoiselle, I will repeat you some poetry.\"", "Assuming an attitude, she began, \"La Ligue des Rats: fable de La\nFontaine.\"", "She then declaimed the little piece with an attention to\npunctuation and emphasis, a flexibility of voice and an appropriateness\nof gesture, very unusual indeed at her age, and which proved she had been\ncarefully trained.", "\"Was it your mama who taught you that piece?\"", "I asked.", "\"Yes, and she just used to say it in this way: 'Qu' avez vous donc?", "lui\ndit un de ces rats; parlez!'", "She made me lift my hand--so--to remind me\nto raise my voice at the question.", "Now shall I dance for you?\"", "\"No, that will do: but after your mama went to the Holy Virgin, as you\nsay, with whom did you live then?\"", "\"With Madame Frederic and her husband: she took care of me, but she is\nnothing related to me.", "I think she is poor, for she had not so fine a\nhouse as mama.", "I was not long there.", "Mr. Rochester asked me if I would\nlike to go and live with him in England, and I said yes; for I knew Mr.\nRochester before I knew Madame Frederic, and he was always kind to me and\ngave me pretty dresses and toys: but you see he has not kept his word,\nfor he has brought me to England, and now he is gone back again himself,\nand I never see him.\"", "After breakfast, Adele and I withdrew to the library, which room, it\nappears, Mr. Rochester had directed should be used as the schoolroom.", "Most of the books were locked up behind glass doors; but there was one\nbookcase left open containing everything that could be needed in the way\nof elementary works, and several volumes of light literature, poetry,\nbiography, travels, a few romances, &c. I suppose he had considered that\nthese were all the governess would require for her private perusal; and,\nindeed, they contented me amply for the present; compared with the scanty\npickings I had now and then been able to glean at Lowood, they seemed to\noffer an abundant harvest of entertainment and information.", "In this\nroom, too, there was a cabinet piano, quite new and of superior tone;\nalso an easel for painting and a pair of globes.", "I found my pupil sufficiently docile, though disinclined to apply: she\nhad not been used to regular occupation of any kind.", "I felt it would be\ninjudicious to confine her too much at first; so, when I had talked to\nher a great deal, and got her to learn a little, and when the morning had\nadvanced to noon, I allowed her to return to her nurse.", "I then proposed\nto occupy myself till dinner-time in drawing some little sketches for her\nuse.", "As I was going upstairs to fetch my portfolio and pencils, Mrs. Fairfax\ncalled to me: \"Your morning school-hours are over now, I suppose,\" said\nshe.", "She was in a room the folding-doors of which stood open: I went in\nwhen she addressed me.", "It was a large, stately apartment, with purple\nchairs and curtains, a Turkey carpet, walnut-panelled walls, one vast\nwindow rich in slanted glass, and a lofty ceiling, nobly moulded.", "Mrs.\nFairfax was dusting some vases of fine purple spar, which stood on a\nsideboard.", "\"What a beautiful room!\"", "I exclaimed, as I looked round; for I had never\nbefore seen any half so imposing.", "\"Yes; this is the dining-room.", "I have just opened the window, to let in\na little air and sunshine; for everything gets so damp in apartments that\nare seldom inhabited; the drawing-room yonder feels like a vault.\"", "She pointed to a wide arch corresponding to the window, and hung like it\nwith a Tyrian-dyed curtain, now looped up.", "Mounting to it by two broad\nsteps, and looking through, I thought I caught a glimpse of a fairy\nplace, so bright to my novice-eyes appeared the view beyond.", "Yet it was\nmerely a very pretty drawing-room, and within it a boudoir, both spread\nwith white carpets, on which seemed laid brilliant garlands of flowers;\nboth ceiled with snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine-leaves, beneath\nwhich glowed in rich contrast crimson couches and ottomans; while the\nornaments on the pale Parian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian\nglass, ruby red; and between the windows large mirrors repeated the\ngeneral blending of snow and fire.", "\"In what order you keep these rooms, Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "said I.", "\"No dust, no\ncanvas coverings: except that the air feels chilly, one would think they\nwere inhabited daily.\"", "\"Why, Miss Eyre, though Mr. Rochester's visits here are rare, they are\nalways sudden and unexpected; and as I observed that it put him out to\nfind everything swathed up, and to have a bustle of arrangement on his\narrival, I thought it best to keep the rooms in readiness.\"", "\"Is Mr. Rochester an exacting, fastidious sort of man?\"", "\"Not particularly so; but he has a gentleman's tastes and habits, and he\nexpects to have things managed in conformity to them.\"", "\"Do you like him?", "Is he generally liked?\"", "\"Oh, yes; the family have always been respected here.", "Almost all the\nland in this neighbourhood, as far as you can see, has belonged to the\nRochesters time out of mind.\"", "\"Well, but, leaving his land out of the question, do you like him?", "Is he\nliked for himself?\"", "\"I have no cause to do otherwise than like him; and I believe he is\nconsidered a just and liberal landlord by his tenants: but he has never\nlived much amongst them.\"", "\"But has he no peculiarities?", "What, in short, is his character?\"", "\"Oh!", "his character is unimpeachable, I suppose.", "He is rather peculiar,\nperhaps: he has travelled a great deal, and seen a great deal of the\nworld, I should think.", "I dare say he is clever, but I never had much\nconversation with him.\"", "\"In what way is he peculiar?\"", "\"I don't know--it is not easy to describe--nothing striking, but you feel\nit when he speaks to you; you cannot be always sure whether he is in jest\nor earnest, whether he is pleased or the contrary; you don't thoroughly\nunderstand him, in short--at least, I don't: but it is of no consequence,\nhe is a very good master.\"", "This was all the account I got from Mrs. Fairfax of her employer and\nmine.", "There are people who seem to have no notion of sketching a\ncharacter, or observing and describing salient points, either in persons\nor things: the good lady evidently belonged to this class; my queries\npuzzled, but did not draw her out.", "Mr. Rochester was Mr. Rochester in\nher eyes; a gentleman, a landed proprietor--nothing more: she inquired\nand searched no further, and evidently wondered at my wish to gain a more\ndefinite notion of his identity.", "When we left the dining-room, she proposed to show me over the rest of\nthe house; and I followed her upstairs and downstairs, admiring as I\nwent; for all was well arranged and handsome.", "The large front chambers I\nthought especially grand: and some of the third-storey rooms, though dark\nand low, were interesting from their air of antiquity.", "The furniture\nonce appropriated to the lower apartments had from time to time been\nremoved here, as fashions changed: and the imperfect light entering by\ntheir narrow casement showed bedsteads of a hundred years old; chests in\noak or walnut, looking, with their strange carvings of palm branches and\ncherubs' heads, like types of the Hebrew ark; rows of venerable chairs,\nhigh-backed and narrow; stools still more antiquated, on whose cushioned\ntops were yet apparent traces of half-effaced embroideries, wrought by\nfingers that for two generations had been coffin-dust.", "All these relics\ngave to the third storey of Thornfield Hall the aspect of a home of the\npast: a shrine of memory.", "I liked the hush, the gloom, the quaintness of\nthese retreats in the day; but I by no means coveted a night's repose on\none of those wide and heavy beds: shut in, some of them, with doors of\noak; shaded, others, with wrought old English hangings crusted with thick\nwork, portraying effigies of strange flowers, and stranger birds, and\nstrangest human beings,--all which would have looked strange, indeed, by\nthe pallid gleam of moonlight.", "\"Do the servants sleep in these rooms?\"", "I asked.", "\"No; they occupy a range of smaller apartments to the back; no one ever\nsleeps here: one would almost say that, if there were a ghost at\nThornfield Hall, this would be its haunt.\"", "\"So I think: you have no ghost, then?\"", "\"None that I ever heard of,\" returned Mrs. Fairfax, smiling.", "\"Nor any traditions of one?", "no legends or ghost stories?\"", "\"I believe not.", "And yet it is said the Rochesters have been rather a\nviolent than a quiet race in their time: perhaps, though, that is the\nreason they rest tranquilly in their graves now.\"", "\"Yes--'after life's fitful fever they sleep well,'\" I muttered.", "\"Where\nare you going now, Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "for she was moving away.", "\"On to the leads; will you come and see the view from thence?\"", "I\nfollowed still, up a very narrow staircase to the attics, and thence by a\nladder and through a trap-door to the roof of the hall.", "I was now on a\nlevel with the crow colony, and could see into their nests.", "Leaning over\nthe battlements and looking far down, I surveyed the grounds laid out\nlike a map: the bright and velvet lawn closely girdling the grey base of\nthe mansion; the field, wide as a park, dotted with its ancient timber;\nthe wood, dun and sere, divided by a path visibly overgrown, greener with\nmoss than the trees were with foliage; the church at the gates, the road,\nthe tranquil hills, all reposing in the autumn day's sun; the horizon\nbounded by a propitious sky, azure, marbled with pearly white.", "No\nfeature in the scene was extraordinary, but all was pleasing.", "When I\nturned from it and repassed the trap-door, I could scarcely see my way\ndown the ladder; the attic seemed black as a vault compared with that\narch of blue air to which I had been looking up, and to that sunlit scene\nof grove, pasture, and green hill, of which the hall was the centre, and\nover which I had been gazing with delight.", "Mrs. Fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap-door; I, by drift\nof groping, found the outlet from the attic, and proceeded to descend the\nnarrow garret staircase.", "I lingered in the long passage to which this\nled, separating the front and back rooms of the third storey: narrow,\nlow, and dim, with only one little window at the far end, and looking,\nwith its two rows of small black doors all shut, like a corridor in some\nBluebeard's castle.", "While I paced softly on, the last sound I expected to hear in so still a\nregion, a laugh, struck my ear.", "It was a curious laugh; distinct,\nformal, mirthless.", "I stopped: the sound ceased, only for an instant; it\nbegan again, louder: for at first, though distinct, it was very low.", "It\npassed off in a clamorous peal that seemed to wake an echo in every\nlonely chamber; though it originated but in one, and I could have pointed\nout the door whence the accents issued.", "\"Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "I called out: for I now heard her descending the great\nstairs.", "\"Did you hear that loud laugh?", "Who is it?\"", "\"Some of the servants, very likely,\" she answered: \"perhaps Grace Poole.\"", "\"Did you hear it?\"", "I again inquired.", "\"Yes, plainly: I often hear her: she sews in one of these rooms.", "Sometimes Leah is with her; they are frequently noisy together.\"", "The laugh was repeated in its low, syllabic tone, and terminated in an\nodd murmur.", "\"Grace!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax.", "I really did not expect any Grace to answer; for the laugh was as tragic,\nas preternatural a laugh as any I ever heard; and, but that it was high\nnoon, and that no circumstance of ghostliness accompanied the curious\ncachinnation; but that neither scene nor season favoured fear, I should\nhave been superstitiously afraid.", "However, the event showed me I was a\nfool for entertaining a sense even of surprise.", "The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out,--a woman of between\nthirty and forty; a set, square-made figure, red-haired, and with a hard,\nplain face: any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely\nbe conceived.", "\"Too much noise, Grace,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Remember directions!\"", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "\"She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her housemaid's work,\"\ncontinued the widow; \"not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but\nshe does well enough.", "By-the-bye, how have you got on with your new\npupil this morning?\"", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below.", "Adele came running to meet us in the\nhall, exclaiming--\n\n\"Mesdames, vous etes servies!\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in Mrs. Fairfax's room." ]

[ "\"Indeed!", "It would be difficult to say: I could not then distinctly say\nit to myself; yet I had a reason, and a logical, natural reason too.", "The equality between her and\nme was real; not the mere result of condescension on her part: so much\nthe better--my position was all the freer.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "\"I don't know--it is not easy to describe--nothing striking, but you feel\nit when he speaks to you; you cannot be always sure whether he is in jest\nor earnest, whether he is pleased or the contrary; you don't thoroughly\nunderstand him, in short--at least, I don't: but it is of no consequence,\nhe is a very good master.\"", "All these relics\ngave to the third storey of Thornfield Hall the aspect of a home of the\npast: a shrine of memory.", "Fairfax?\"", "No\nfeature in the scene was extraordinary, but all was pleasing.", "I called out: for I now heard her descending the great\nstairs.", "exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax." ]

[ "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "Mrs. Fairfax stayed behind a moment to fasten the trap-door; I, by drift\nof groping, found the outlet from the attic, and proceeded to descend the\nnarrow garret staircase.", "\"Yes, and she just used to say it in this way: 'Qu' avez vous donc?", "\"I am so glad,\" she continued, as she sat down opposite to me, and took\nthe cat on her knee; \"I am so glad you are come; it will be quite\npleasant living here now with a companion.", "Shall I let you\nhear me sing now?\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "Yet it was\nmerely a very pretty drawing-room, and within it a boudoir, both spread\nwith white carpets, on which seemed laid brilliant garlands of flowers;\nboth ceiled with snowy mouldings of white grapes and vine-leaves, beneath\nwhich glowed in rich contrast crimson couches and ottomans; while the\nornaments on the pale Parian mantelpiece were of sparkling Bohemian\nglass, ruby red; and between the windows large mirrors repeated the\ngeneral blending of snow and fire.", "Traversing the long and matted gallery, I descended the slippery steps of\noak; then I gained the hall: I halted there a minute; I looked at some\npictures on the walls (one, I remember, represented a grim man in a\ncuirass, and one a lady with powdered hair and a pearl necklace), at a\nbronze lamp pendent from the ceiling, at a great clock whose case was of\noak curiously carved, and ebon black with time and rubbing.", "\"Yes.\"" ]

[ "As I was meditating on this discovery, a little girl, followed by her\nattendant, came running up the lawn.", "I looked at my pupil, who did not\nat first appear to notice me: she was quite a child, perhaps seven or\neight years old, slightly built, with a pale, small-featured face, and a\nredundancy of hair falling in curls to her waist.", "\"Good morning, Miss Adela,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Come and speak to the\nlady who is to teach you, and to make you a clever woman some day.\"", "She\napproached.", "\"C'est la ma gouverante!\"", "said she, pointing to me, and addressing her\nnurse; who answered--\n\n\"Mais oui, certainement.\"", "\"Are they foreigners?\"", "I inquired, amazed at hearing the French language.", "\"The nurse is a foreigner, and Adela was born on the Continent; and, I\nbelieve, never left it till within six months ago.", "When she first came\nhere she could speak no English; now she can make shift to talk it a\nlittle: I don't understand her, she mixes it so with French; but you will\nmake out her meaning very well, I dare say.\"" ]

[ "\n\nA new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and\nwhen I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a\nroom in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on\nthe walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such\nornaments on the mantelpiece, such prints, including a portrait of George\nthe Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of\nthe death of Wolfe.", "All this is visible to you by the light of an oil\nlamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near\nwhich I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the\ntable, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen\nhours' exposure to the rawness of an October day: I left Lowton at four\no'clock a.m., and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight.", "Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in\nmy mind.", "I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one\nto meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the\n\"boots\" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced,\nand to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to\nThornfield.", "Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter\nif any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the\nnegative: so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private\nroom: and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are\ntroubling my thoughts.", "It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself\nquite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain\nwhether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by\nmany impediments from returning to that it has quitted.", "The charm of\nadventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then\nthe throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when\nhalf-an-hour elapsed and still I was alone.", "I bethought myself to ring\nthe bell.", "\"Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield?\"", "I asked of\nthe waiter who answered the summons.", "The door nearest me opened, and a servant came out,--a woman of between\nthirty and forty; a set, square-made figure, red-haired, and with a hard,\nplain face: any apparition less romantic or less ghostly could scarcely\nbe conceived.", "\"Too much noise, Grace,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"Remember directions!\"", "Grace\ncurtseyed silently and went in.", "\"She is a person we have to sew and assist Leah in her housemaid's work,\"\ncontinued the widow; \"not altogether unobjectionable in some points, but\nshe does well enough.", "By-the-bye, how have you got on with your new\npupil this morning?\"", "The conversation, thus turned on Adele, continued till we reached the\nlight and cheerful region below.", "Adele came running to meet us in the\nhall, exclaiming--\n\n\"Mesdames, vous etes servies!\"", "adding, \"J'ai bien faim, moi!\"", "We found dinner ready, and waiting for us in Mrs. Fairfax's room." ]

[ "\n\nThe promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to\nThornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance\nwith the place and its inmates.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "My pupil was a lively child, who had been\nspoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was\ncommitted entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from any\nquarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her\nlittle freaks, and became obedient and teachable.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious,\nthough perhaps not very profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay\nprattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of\nattachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.", "This, _par parenthese_, will be thought cool language by persons who\nentertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the\nduty of those charged with their education to conceive for them an\nidolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to\necho cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth.", "I felt a\nconscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare and progress, and a quiet\nliking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a\nthankfulness for her kindness, and a pleasure in her society\nproportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation\nof her mind and character.", "Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then,\nwhen I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the\ngates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adele played\nwith her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed\nthe three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having\nreached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and\nalong dim sky-line--that then I longed for a power of vision which might\noverpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions\nfull of life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of\npractical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind,\nof acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach.", "I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I\nbelieved in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and\nwhat I believed in I wished to behold.", "Who blames me?", "Many, no doubt; and I shall be called discontented.", "I\ncould not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to\npain sometimes.", "Then my sole relief was to walk along the corridor of\nthe third storey, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and\nsolitude of the spot, and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright\nvisions rose before it--and, certainly, they were many and glowing; to\nlet my heart be heaved by the exultant movement, which, while it swelled\nit in trouble, expanded it with life; and, best of all, to open my inward\near to a tale that was never ended--a tale my imagination created, and\nnarrated continuously; quickened with all of incident, life, fire,\nfeeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence.", "It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with\ntranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot\nfind it.", "Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and\nmillions are in silent revolt against their lot.", "Nobody knows how many\nrebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life\nwhich people earth.", "Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but\nwomen feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and\na field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from\ntoo rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would\nsuffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures\nto say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and\nknitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags.", "It is\nthoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or\nlearn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.", "When thus alone, I not unfrequently heard Grace Poole's laugh: the same\npeal, the same low, slow ha!", "ha!", "which, when first heard, had thrilled\nme: I heard, too, her eccentric murmurs; stranger than her laugh.", "There\nwere days when she was quite silent; but there were others when I could\nnot account for the sounds she made.", "Sometimes I saw her: she would come\nout of her room with a basin, or a plate, or a tray in her hand, go down\nto the kitchen and shortly return, generally (oh, romantic reader,\nforgive me for telling the plain truth!)", "bearing a pot of porter.", "Her\nappearance always acted as a damper to the curiosity raised by her oral\noddities: hard-featured and staid, she had no point to which interest\ncould attach.", "I made some attempts to draw her into conversation, but\nshe seemed a person of few words: a monosyllabic reply usually cut short\nevery effort of that sort.", "The other members of the household, viz., John and his wife, Leah the\nhousemaid, and Sophie the French nurse, were decent people; but in no\nrespect remarkable; with Sophie I used to talk French, and sometimes I\nasked her questions about her native country; but she was not of a\ndescriptive or narrative turn, and generally gave such vapid and confused\nanswers as were calculated rather to check than encourage inquiry.", "October, November, December passed away.", "One afternoon in January, Mrs.\nFairfax had begged a holiday for Adele, because she had a cold; and, as\nAdele seconded the request with an ardour that reminded me how precious\noccasional holidays had been to me in my own childhood, I accorded it,\ndeeming that I did well in showing pliability on the point.", "It was a\nfine, calm day, though very cold; I was tired of sitting still in the\nlibrary through a whole long morning: Mrs. Fairfax had just written a\nletter which was waiting to be posted, so I put on my bonnet and cloak\nand volunteered to carry it to Hay; the distance, two miles, would be a\npleasant winter afternoon walk.", "Having seen Adele comfortably seated in\nher little chair by Mrs. Fairfax's parlour fireside, and given her her\nbest wax doll (which I usually kept enveloped in silver paper in a\ndrawer) to play with, and a story-book for change of amusement; and\nhaving replied to her \"Revenez bientot, ma bonne amie, ma chere Mdlle.", "Jeannette,\" with a kiss I set out.", "The ground was hard, the air was still, my road was lonely; I walked fast\ntill I got warm, and then I walked slowly to enjoy and analyse the\nspecies of pleasure brooding for me in the hour and situation.", "It was\nthree o'clock; the church bell tolled as I passed under the belfry: the\ncharm of the hour lay in its approaching dimness, in the low-gliding and\npale-beaming sun.", "I was a mile from Thornfield, in a lane noted for wild\nroses in summer, for nuts and blackberries in autumn, and even now\npossessing a few coral treasures in hips and haws, but whose best winter\ndelight lay in its utter solitude and leafless repose.", "If a breath of\nair stirred, it made no sound here; for there was not a holly, not an\nevergreen to rustle, and the stripped hawthorn and hazel bushes were as\nstill as the white, worn stones which causewayed the middle of the path.", "Far and wide, on each side, there were only fields, where no cattle now\nbrowsed; and the little brown birds, which stirred occasionally in the\nhedge, looked like single russet leaves that had forgotten to drop.", "This lane inclined up-hill all the way to Hay; having reached the middle,\nI sat down on a stile which led thence into a field.", "Gathering my mantle\nabout me, and sheltering my hands in my muff, I did not feel the cold,\nthough it froze keenly; as was attested by a sheet of ice covering the\ncauseway, where a little brooklet, now congealed, had overflowed after a\nrapid thaw some days since.", "From my seat I could look down on\nThornfield: the grey and battlemented hall was the principal object in\nthe vale below me; its woods and dark rookery rose against the west.", "I\nlingered till the sun went down amongst the trees, and sank crimson and\nclear behind them.", "I then turned eastward.", "On the hill-top above me sat the rising moon; pale yet as a cloud, but\nbrightening momentarily, she looked over Hay, which, half lost in trees,\nsent up a blue smoke from its few chimneys: it was yet a mile distant,\nbut in the absolute hush I could hear plainly its thin murmurs of life.", "My ear, too, felt the flow of currents; in what dales and depths I could\nnot tell: but there were many hills beyond Hay, and doubtless many becks\nthreading their passes.", "That evening calm betrayed alike the tinkle of\nthe nearest streams, the sough of the most remote.", "A rude noise broke on these fine ripplings and whisperings, at once so\nfar away and so clear: a positive tramp, tramp, a metallic clatter, which\neffaced the soft wave-wanderings; as, in a picture, the solid mass of a\ncrag, or the rough boles of a great oak, drawn in dark and strong on the\nforeground, efface the aerial distance of azure hill, sunny horizon, and\nblended clouds where tint melts into tint.", "The din was on the causeway: a horse was coming; the windings of the lane\nyet hid it, but it approached.", "I was just leaving the stile; yet, as the\npath was narrow, I sat still to let it go by.", "In those days I was young,\nand all sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted my mind: the memories\nof nursery stories were there amongst other rubbish; and when they\nrecurred, maturing youth added to them a vigour and vividness beyond what\nchildhood could give.", "As this horse approached, and as I watched for it\nto appear through the dusk, I remembered certain of Bessie's tales,\nwherein figured a North-of-England spirit called a \"Gytrash,\" which, in\nthe form of horse, mule, or large dog, haunted solitary ways, and\nsometimes came upon belated travellers, as this horse was now coming upon\nme.", "It was very near, but not yet in sight; when, in addition to the tramp,\ntramp, I heard a rush under the hedge, and close down by the hazel stems\nglided a great dog, whose black and white colour made him a distinct\nobject against the trees.", "It was exactly one form of Bessie's Gytrash--a\nlion-like creature with long hair and a huge head: it passed me, however,\nquietly enough; not staying to look up, with strange pretercanine eyes,\nin my face, as I half expected it would.", "The horse followed,--a tall\nsteed, and on its back a rider.", "The man, the human being, broke the\nspell at once.", "Nothing ever rode the Gytrash: it was always alone; and\ngoblins, to my notions, though they might tenant the dumb carcasses of\nbeasts, could scarce covet shelter in the commonplace human form.", "No\nGytrash was this,--only a traveller taking the short cut to Millcote.", "He\npassed, and I went on; a few steps, and I turned: a sliding sound and an\nexclamation of \"What the deuce is to do now?\"", "and a clattering tumble,\narrested my attention.", "Man and horse were down; they had slipped on the\nsheet of ice which glazed the causeway.", "The dog came bounding back, and\nseeing his master in a predicament, and hearing the horse groan, barked\ntill the evening hills echoed the sound, which was deep in proportion to\nhis magnitude.", "He snuffed round the prostrate group, and then he ran up\nto me; it was all he could do,--there was no other help at hand to\nsummon.", "I obeyed him, and walked down to the traveller, by this time\nstruggling himself free of his steed.", "His efforts were so vigorous, I\nthought he could not be much hurt; but I asked him the question--\n\n\"Are you injured, sir?\"", "I think he was swearing, but am not certain; however, he was pronouncing\nsome formula which prevented him from replying to me directly.", "\"Can I do anything?\"", "I asked again.", "\"You must just stand on one side,\" he answered as he rose, first to his\nknees, and then to his feet.", "I did; whereupon began a heaving, stamping,\nclattering process, accompanied by a barking and baying which removed me\neffectually some yards' distance; but I would not be driven quite away\ntill I saw the event.", "This was finally fortunate; the horse was\nre-established, and the dog was silenced with a \"Down, Pilot!\"", "The\ntraveller now, stooping, felt his foot and leg, as if trying whether they\nwere sound; apparently something ailed them, for he halted to the stile\nwhence I had just risen, and sat down.", "I was in the mood for being useful, or at least officious, I think, for I\nnow drew near him again.", "\"If you are hurt, and want help, sir, I can fetch some one either from\nThornfield Hall or from Hay.\"", "\"Thank you: I shall do: I have no broken bones,--only a sprain;\" and\nagain he stood up and tried his foot, but the result extorted an\ninvoluntary \"Ugh!\"", "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "I felt\nno fear of him, and but little shyness.", "Had he been a handsome, heroic-\nlooking young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus\nquestioning him against his will, and offering my services unasked.", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I\nhad a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,\nfascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape,\nI should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have\nsympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would\nfire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.", "If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured to me when I\naddressed him; if he had put off my offer of assistance gaily and with\nthanks, I should have gone on my way and not felt any vocation to renew\ninquiries: but the frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my\nease: I retained my station when he waved to me to go, and announced--\n\n\"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour, in this solitary\nlane, till I see you are fit to mount your horse.\"", "He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes in my\ndirection before.", "\"I should think you ought to be at home yourself,\" said he, \"if you have\na home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?\"", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"", "\"You live just below--do you mean at that house with the battlements?\"", "pointing to Thornfield Hall, on which the moon cast a hoary gleam,\nbringing it out distinct and pale from the woods that, by contrast with\nthe western sky, now seemed one mass of shadow.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Whose house is it?\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester's.\"", "\"Do you know Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "\"No, I have never seen him.\"", "\"He is not resident, then?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Can you tell me where he is?\"", "\"I cannot.\"", "\"You are not a servant at the hall, of course.", "You are--\" He stopped,\nran his eye over my dress, which, as usual, was quite simple: a black\nmerino cloak, a black beaver bonnet; neither of them half fine enough for\na lady's-maid.", "He seemed puzzled to decide what I was; I helped him.", "\"I am the governess.\"", "\"Ah, the governess!\"", "he repeated; \"deuce take me, if I had not forgotten!", "The governess!\"", "and again my raiment underwent scrutiny.", "In two minutes\nhe rose from the stile: his face expressed pain when he tried to move.", "\"I cannot commission you to fetch help,\" he said; \"but you may help me a\nlittle yourself, if you will be so kind.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"You have not an umbrella that I can use as a stick?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him to me: you are not\nafraid?\"", "I should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone, but when told to\ndo it, I was disposed to obey.", "I put down my muff on the stile, and went\nup to the tall steed; I endeavoured to catch the bridle, but it was a\nspirited thing, and would not let me come near its head; I made effort on\neffort, though in vain: meantime, I was mortally afraid of its trampling\nfore-feet.", "The traveller waited and watched for some time, and at last\nhe laughed.", "{I was mortally afraid of its trampling forefeet: p107.jpg}\n\n\"I see,\" he said, \"the mountain will never be brought to Mahomet, so all\nyou can do is to aid Mahomet to go to the mountain; I must beg of you to\ncome here.\"", "I came.", "\"Excuse me,\" he continued: \"necessity compels me to make you\nuseful.\"", "He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder, and leaning on me with\nsome stress, limped to his horse.", "Having once caught the bridle, he\nmastered it directly and sprang to his saddle; grimacing grimly as he\nmade the effort, for it wrenched his sprain.", "\"Now,\" said he, releasing his under lip from a hard bite, \"just hand me\nmy whip; it lies there under the hedge.\"", "I sought it and found it.", "\"Thank you; now make haste with the letter to Hay, and return as fast as\nyou can.\"", "A touch of a spurred heel made his horse first start and rear, and then\nbound away; the dog rushed in his traces; all three vanished,\n\n \"Like heath that, in the wilderness,\n The wild wind whirls away.\"", "I took up my muff and walked on.", "The incident had occurred and was gone\nfor me: it _was_ an incident of no moment, no romance, no interest in a\nsense; yet it marked with change one single hour of a monotonous life.", "My\nhelp had been needed and claimed; I had given it: I was pleased to have\ndone something; trivial, transitory though the deed was, it was yet an\nactive thing, and I was weary of an existence all passive.", "The new face,\ntoo, was like a new picture introduced to the gallery of memory; and it\nwas dissimilar to all the others hanging there: firstly, because it was\nmasculine; and, secondly, because it was dark, strong, and stern.", "I had\nit still before me when I entered Hay, and slipped the letter into the\npost-office; I saw it as I walked fast down-hill all the way home.", "When\nI came to the stile, I stopped a minute, looked round and listened, with\nan idea that a horse's hoofs might ring on the causeway again, and that a\nrider in a cloak, and a Gytrash-like Newfoundland dog, might be again\napparent: I saw only the hedge and a pollard willow before me, rising up\nstill and straight to meet the moonbeams; I heard only the faintest waft\nof wind roaming fitful among the trees round Thornfield, a mile distant;\nand when I glanced down in the direction of the murmur, my eye,\ntraversing the hall-front, caught a light kindling in a window: it\nreminded me that I was late, and I hurried on.", "I did not like re-entering Thornfield.", "To pass its threshold was to\nreturn to stagnation; to cross the silent hall, to ascend the darksome\nstaircase, to seek my own lonely little room, and then to meet tranquil\nMrs. Fairfax, and spend the long winter evening with her, and her only,\nwas to quell wholly the faint excitement wakened by my walk,--to slip\nagain over my faculties the viewless fetters of an uniform and too still\nexistence; of an existence whose very privileges of security and ease I\nwas becoming incapable of appreciating.", "What good it would have done me\nat that time to have been tossed in the storms of an uncertain struggling\nlife, and to have been taught by rough and bitter experience to long for\nthe calm amidst which I now repined!", "Yes, just as much good as it would\ndo a man tired of sitting still in a \"too easy chair\" to take a long\nwalk: and just as natural was the wish to stir, under my circumstances,\nas it would be under his.", "I lingered at the gates; I lingered on the lawn; I paced backwards and\nforwards on the pavement; the shutters of the glass door were closed; I\ncould not see into the interior; and both my eyes and spirit seemed drawn\nfrom the gloomy house--from the grey-hollow filled with rayless cells, as\nit appeared to me--to that sky expanded before me,--a blue sea absolved\nfrom taint of cloud; the moon ascending it in solemn march; her orb\nseeming to look up as she left the hill-tops, from behind which she had\ncome, far and farther below her, and aspired to the zenith, midnight dark\nin its fathomless depth and measureless distance; and for those trembling\nstars that followed her course; they made my heart tremble, my veins glow\nwhen I viewed them.", "Little things recall us to earth; the clock struck\nin the hall; that sufficed; I turned from moon and stars, opened a side-\ndoor, and went in.", "The hall was not dark, nor yet was it lit, only by the high-hung bronze\nlamp; a warm glow suffused both it and the lower steps of the oak\nstaircase.", "This ruddy shine issued from the great dining-room, whose two-\nleaved door stood open, and showed a genial fire in the grate, glancing\non marble hearth and brass fire-irons, and revealing purple draperies and\npolished furniture, in the most pleasant radiance.", "It revealed, too, a\ngroup near the mantelpiece: I had scarcely caught it, and scarcely become\naware of a cheerful mingling of voices, amongst which I seemed to\ndistinguish the tones of Adele, when the door closed.", "I hastened to Mrs. Fairfax's room; there was a fire there too, but no\ncandle, and no Mrs. Fairfax.", "Instead, all alone, sitting upright on the\nrug, and gazing with gravity at the blaze, I beheld a great black and\nwhite long-haired dog, just like the Gytrash of the lane.", "It was so like\nit that I went forward and said--\"Pilot\" and the thing got up and came to\nme and snuffed me.", "I caressed him, and he wagged his great tail; but he\nlooked an eerie creature to be alone with, and I could not tell whence he\nhad come.", "I rang the bell, for I wanted a candle; and I wanted, too, to\nget an account of this visitant.", "Leah entered.", "\"What dog is this?\"", "\"He came with master.\"", "\"With whom?\"", "\"With master--Mr. Rochester--he is just arrived.\"", "\"Indeed!", "and is Mrs. Fairfax with him?\"", "\"Yes, and Miss Adele; they are in the dining-room, and John is gone for a\nsurgeon; for master has had an accident; his horse fell and his ankle is\nsprained.\"", "\"Did the horse fall in Hay Lane?\"", "\"Yes, coming down-hill; it slipped on some ice.\"", "\"Ah!", "Bring me a candle will you Leah?\"", "Leah brought it; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax, who repeated the\nnews; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon was come, and was now with Mr.\nRochester: then she hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went\nupstairs to take off my things." ]

[ "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "One afternoon in January, Mrs.\nFairfax had begged a holiday for Adele, because she had a cold; and, as\nAdele seconded the request with an ardour that reminded me how precious\noccasional holidays had been to me in my own childhood, I accorded it,\ndeeming that I did well in showing pliability on the point.", "I then turned eastward.", "I was just leaving the stile; yet, as the\npath was narrow, I sat still to let it go by.", "I asked again.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "\"You live just below--do you mean at that house with the battlements?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder, and leaning on me with\nsome stress, limped to his horse.", "\"He came with master.\"" ]

[ "The hall was not dark, nor yet was it lit, only by the high-hung bronze\nlamp; a warm glow suffused both it and the lower steps of the oak\nstaircase.", "\"With whom?\"", "\"No.\"", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I should have been afraid to touch a horse when alone, but when told to\ndo it, I was disposed to obey.", "\"I cannot.\"", "I was just leaving the stile; yet, as the\npath was narrow, I sat still to let it go by.", "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "In those days I was young,\nand all sorts of fancies bright and dark tenanted my mind: the memories\nof nursery stories were there amongst other rubbish; and when they\nrecurred, maturing youth added to them a vigour and vividness beyond what\nchildhood could give.", "I was in the mood for being useful, or at least officious, I think, for I\nnow drew near him again." ]

[ "Something of daylight still lingered, and the moon was waxing bright: I\ncould see him plainly.", "His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur\ncollared and steel clasped; its details were not apparent, but I traced\nthe general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest.", "He\nhad a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow; his eyes and\ngathered eyebrows looked ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth,\nbut had not reached middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five.", "I felt\nno fear of him, and but little shyness.", "Had he been a handsome, heroic-\nlooking young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus\nquestioning him against his will, and offering my services unasked.", "I\nhad hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.", "I\nhad a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,\nfascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape,\nI should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have\nsympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would\nfire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.", "If even this stranger had smiled and been good-humoured to me when I\naddressed him; if he had put off my offer of assistance gaily and with\nthanks, I should have gone on my way and not felt any vocation to renew\ninquiries: but the frown, the roughness of the traveller, set me at my\nease: I retained my station when he waved to me to go, and announced--\n\n\"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour, in this solitary\nlane, till I see you are fit to mount your horse.\"", "He looked at me when I said this; he had hardly turned his eyes in my\ndirection before.", "\"I should think you ought to be at home yourself,\" said he, \"if you have\na home in this neighbourhood: where do you come from?\"", "\"From just below; and I am not at all afraid of being out late when it is\nmoonlight: I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you wish it:\nindeed, I am going there to post a letter.\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe promise of a smooth career, which my first calm introduction to\nThornfield Hall seemed to pledge, was not belied on a longer acquaintance\nwith the place and its inmates.", "Mrs. Fairfax turned out to be what she\nappeared, a placid-tempered, kind-natured woman, of competent education\nand average intelligence.", "My pupil was a lively child, who had been\nspoilt and indulged, and therefore was sometimes wayward; but as she was\ncommitted entirely to my care, and no injudicious interference from any\nquarter ever thwarted my plans for her improvement, she soon forgot her\nlittle freaks, and became obedient and teachable.", "She had no great\ntalents, no marked traits of character, no peculiar development of\nfeeling or taste which raised her one inch above the ordinary level of\nchildhood; but neither had she any deficiency or vice which sunk her\nbelow it.", "She made reasonable progress, entertained for me a vivacious,\nthough perhaps not very profound, affection; and by her simplicity, gay\nprattle, and efforts to please, inspired me, in return, with a degree of\nattachment sufficient to make us both content in each other's society.", "This, _par parenthese_, will be thought cool language by persons who\nentertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children, and the\nduty of those charged with their education to conceive for them an\nidolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatter parental egotism, to\necho cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely telling the truth.", "I felt a\nconscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare and progress, and a quiet\nliking for her little self: just as I cherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a\nthankfulness for her kindness, and a pleasure in her society\nproportionate to the tranquil regard she had for me, and the moderation\nof her mind and character.", "Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then,\nwhen I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the\ngates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adele played\nwith her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed\nthe three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having\nreached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and\nalong dim sky-line--that then I longed for a power of vision which might\noverpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions\nfull of life I had heard of but never seen--that then I desired more of\npractical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind,\nof acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach.", "I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I\nbelieved in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and\nwhat I believed in I wished to behold.", "Who blames me?", "\"With whom?\"", "\"With master--Mr. Rochester--he is just arrived.\"", "\"Indeed!", "and is Mrs. Fairfax with him?\"", "\"Yes, and Miss Adele; they are in the dining-room, and John is gone for a\nsurgeon; for master has had an accident; his horse fell and his ankle is\nsprained.\"", "\"Did the horse fall in Hay Lane?\"", "\"Yes, coming down-hill; it slipped on some ice.\"", "\"Ah!", "Bring me a candle will you Leah?\"", "Leah brought it; she entered, followed by Mrs. Fairfax, who repeated the\nnews; adding that Mr. Carter the surgeon was come, and was now with Mr.\nRochester: then she hurried out to give orders about tea, and I went\nupstairs to take off my things." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to bed early that\nnight; nor did he rise soon next morning.", "When he did come down, it was\nto attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived,\nand waiting to speak with him.", "Adele and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily\nrequisition as a reception-room for callers.", "A fire was lit in an\napartment upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for\nthe future schoolroom.", "I discerned in the course of the morning that\nThornfield Hall was a changed place: no longer silent as a church, it\nechoed every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the bell;\nsteps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices spoke in different\nkeys below; a rill from the outer world was flowing through it; it had a\nmaster: for my part, I liked it better.", "Adele was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept\nrunning to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could\nget a glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go\ndownstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library,\nwhere I knew she was not wanted; then, when I got a little angry, and\nmade her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her \"ami,\nMonsieur Edouard Fairfax _de_ Rochester,\" as she dubbed him (I had not\nbefore heard his prenomens), and to conjecture what presents he had\nbrought her: for it appears he had intimated the night before, that when\nhis luggage came from Millcote, there would be found amongst it a little\nbox in whose contents she had an interest.", "\"Et cela doit signifier,\" said she, \"qu'il y aura la dedans un cadeau\npour moi, et peut-etre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.", "Monsieur a parle\nde vous: il m'a demande le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n'etait pas\nune petite personne, assez mince et un peu pale.", "J'ai dit qu'oui: car\nc'est vrai, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?\"", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "At dark I\nallowed Adele to put away books and work, and to run downstairs; for,\nfrom the comparative silence below, and from the cessation of appeals to\nthe door-bell, I conjectured that Mr. Rochester was now at liberty.", "Left\nalone, I walked to the window; but nothing was to be seen thence:\ntwilight and snowflakes together thickened the air, and hid the very\nshrubs on the lawn.", "I let down the curtain and went back to the\nfireside.", "In the clear embers I was tracing a view, not unlike a picture I\nremembered to have seen of the castle of Heidelberg, on the Rhine, when\nMrs. Fairfax came in, breaking up by her entrance the fiery mosaic I had\nbeen piercing together, and scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts\nthat were beginning to throng on my solitude.", "\"Mr. Rochester would be glad if you and your pupil would take tea with\nhim in the drawing-room this evening,\" said she: \"he has been so much\nengaged all day that he could not ask to see you before.\"", "\"When is his tea-time?\"", "I inquired.", "\"Oh, at six o'clock: he keeps early hours in the country.", "You had better\nchange your frock now; I will go with you and fasten it.", "Here is a\ncandle.\"", "\"Is it necessary to change my frock?\"", "\"Yes, you had better: I always dress for the evening when Mr. Rochester\nis here.\"", "This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately; however, I repaired to\nmy room, and, with Mrs. Fairfax's aid, replaced my black stuff dress by\none of black silk; the best and the only additional one I had, except one\nof light grey, which, in my Lowood notions of the toilette, I thought too\nfine to be worn, except on first-rate occasions.", "\"You want a brooch,\" said Mrs. Fairfax.", "I had a single little pearl\nornament which Miss Temple gave me as a parting keepsake: I put it on,\nand then we went downstairs.", "Unused as I was to strangers, it was rather\na trial to appear thus formally summoned in Mr. Rochester's presence.", "I\nlet Mrs. Fairfax precede me into the dining-room, and kept in her shade\nas we crossed that apartment; and, passing the arch, whose curtain was\nnow dropped, entered the elegant recess beyond.", "Two wax candles stood lighted on the table, and two on the mantelpiece;\nbasking in the light and heat of a superb fire, lay Pilot--Adele knelt\nnear him.", "Half reclined on a couch appeared Mr. Rochester, his foot\nsupported by the cushion; he was looking at Adele and the dog: the fire\nshone full on his face.", "I knew my traveller with his broad and jetty\neyebrows; his square forehead, made squarer by the horizontal sweep of\nhis black hair.", "I recognised his decisive nose, more remarkable for\ncharacter than beauty; his full nostrils, denoting, I thought, choler;\nhis grim mouth, chin, and jaw--yes, all three were very grim, and no\nmistake.", "His shape, now divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in\nsquareness with his physiognomy: I suppose it was a good figure in the\nathletic sense of the term--broad chested and thin flanked, though\nneither tall nor graceful.", "Mr. Rochester must have been aware of the entrance of Mrs. Fairfax and\nmyself; but it appeared he was not in the mood to notice us, for he never\nlifted his head as we approached.", "\"Here is Miss Eyre, sir,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, in her quiet way.", "He bowed,\nstill not taking his eyes from the group of the dog and child.", "\"Let Miss Eyre be seated,\" said he: and there was something in the forced\nstiff bow, in the impatient yet formal tone, which seemed further to\nexpress, \"What the deuce is it to me whether Miss Eyre be there or not?", "At this moment I am not disposed to accost her.\"", "I sat down quite disembarrassed.", "A reception of finished politeness\nwould probably have confused me: I could not have returned or repaid it\nby answering grace and elegance on my part; but harsh caprice laid me\nunder no obligation; on the contrary, a decent quiescence, under the\nfreak of manner, gave me the advantage.", "Besides, the eccentricity of the\nproceeding was piquant: I felt interested to see how he would go on.", "He went on as a statue would, that is, he neither spoke nor moved.", "Mrs.\nFairfax seemed to think it necessary that some one should be amiable, and\nshe began to talk.", "Kindly, as usual--and, as usual, rather trite--she\ncondoled with him on the pressure of business he had had all day; on the\nannoyance it must have been to him with that painful sprain: then she\ncommended his patience and perseverance in going through with it.", "\"Madam, I should like some tea,\" was the sole rejoinder she got.", "She\nhastened to ring the bell; and when the tray came, she proceeded to\narrange the cups, spoons, &c., with assiduous celerity.", "I and Adele went\nto the table; but the master did not leave his couch.", "\"Will you hand Mr. Rochester's cup?\"", "said Mrs. Fairfax to me; \"Adele\nmight perhaps spill it.\"", "I did as requested.", "As he took the cup from my hand, Adele, thinking the\nmoment propitious for making a request in my favour, cried out--\n\n\"N'est-ce pas, monsieur, qu'il y a un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre dans\nvotre petit coffre?\"", "\"Who talks of cadeaux?\"", "said he gruffly.", "\"Did you expect a present, Miss\nEyre?", "Are you fond of presents?\"", "and he searched my face with eyes that\nI saw were dark, irate, and piercing.", "\"I hardly know, sir; I have little experience of them: they are generally\nthought pleasant things.\"", "\"Generally thought?", "But what do _you_ think?\"", "\"I should be obliged to take time, sir, before I could give you an answer\nworthy of your acceptance: a present has many faces to it, has it not?", "and one should consider all, before pronouncing an opinion as to its\nnature.\"", "\"Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as Adele: she demands a\n'cadeau,' clamorously, the moment she sees me: you beat about the bush.\"", "\"Because I have less confidence in my deserts than Adele has: she can\nprefer the claim of old acquaintance, and the right too of custom; for\nshe says you have always been in the habit of giving her playthings; but\nif I had to make out a case I should be puzzled, since I am a stranger,\nand have done nothing to entitle me to an acknowledgment.\"", "\"Oh, don't fall back on over-modesty!", "I have examined Adele, and find\nyou have taken great pains with her: she is not bright, she has no\ntalents; yet in a short time she has made much improvement.\"", "\"Sir, you have now given me my 'cadeau;' I am obliged to you: it is the\nmeed teachers most covet--praise of their pupils' progress.\"", "\"Humph!\"", "said Mr. Rochester, and he took his tea in silence.", "\"Come to the fire,\" said the master, when the tray was taken away, and\nMrs. Fairfax had settled into a corner with her knitting; while Adele was\nleading me by the hand round the room, showing me the beautiful books and\nornaments on the consoles and chiffonnieres.", "We obeyed, as in duty\nbound; Adele wanted to take a seat on my knee, but she was ordered to\namuse herself with Pilot.", "\"You have been resident in my house three months?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And you came from--?\"", "\"From Lowood school, in ---shire.\"", "\"Ah!", "a charitable concern.", "How long were you there?\"", "\"Eight years.\"", "\"Eight years!", "you must be tenacious of life.", "I thought half the time in\nsuch a place would have done up any constitution!", "No wonder you have\nrather the look of another world.", "I marvelled where you had got that\nsort of face.", "When you came on me in Hay Lane last night, I thought\nunaccountably of fairy tales, and had half a mind to demand whether you\nhad bewitched my horse: I am not sure yet.", "Who are your parents?\"", "\"I have none.\"", "\"Nor ever had, I suppose: do you remember them?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"I thought not.", "And so you were waiting for your people when you sat on\nthat stile?\"", "\"For whom, sir?\"", "\"For the men in green: it was a proper moonlight evening for them.", "Did I\nbreak through one of your rings, that you spread that damned ice on the\ncauseway?\"", "I shook my head.", "\"The men in green all forsook England a hundred years\nago,\" said I, speaking as seriously as he had done.", "\"And not even in Hay\nLane, or the fields about it, could you find a trace of them.", "I don't\nthink either summer or harvest, or winter moon, will ever shine on their\nrevels more.\"", "Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with raised eyebrows, seemed\nwondering what sort of talk this was.", "\"Well,\" resumed Mr. Rochester, \"if you disown parents, you must have some\nsort of kinsfolk: uncles and aunts?\"", "\"No; none that I ever saw.\"", "\"And your home?\"", "\"I have none.\"", "\"Where do your brothers and sisters live?\"", "\"I have no brothers or sisters.\"", "\"Who recommended you to come here?\"", "\"I advertised, and Mrs. Fairfax answered my advertisement.\"", "\"Yes,\" said the good lady, who now knew what ground we were upon, \"and I\nam daily thankful for the choice Providence led me to make.", "Miss Eyre\nhas been an invaluable companion to me, and a kind and careful teacher to\nAdele.\"", "\"Don't trouble yourself to give her a character,\" returned Mr. Rochester:\n\"eulogiums will not bias me; I shall judge for myself.", "She began by\nfelling my horse.\"", "\"Sir?\"", "said Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"I have to thank her for this sprain.\"", "The widow looked bewildered.", "\"Miss Eyre, have you ever lived in a town?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Have you seen much society?\"", "\"None but the pupils and teachers of Lowood, and now the inmates of\nThornfield.\"", "\"Have you read much?\"", "\"Only such books as came in my way; and they have not been numerous or\nvery learned.\"", "\"You have lived the life of a nun: no doubt you are well drilled in\nreligious forms;--Brocklehurst, who I understand directs Lowood, is a\nparson, is he not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses\nwould worship their director.\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"You are very cool!", "No!", "What!", "a novice not worship her priest!", "That\nsounds blasphemous.\"", "\"I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.", "He is\na harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for\neconomy's sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could\nhardly sew.\"", "\"That was very false economy,\" remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again\ncaught the drift of the dialogue.", "\"And was that the head and front of his offending?\"", "demanded Mr.\nRochester.", "\"He starved us when he had the sole superintendence of the provision\ndepartment, before the committee was appointed; and he bored us with long\nlectures once a week, and with evening readings from books of his own\ninditing, about sudden deaths and judgments, which made us afraid to go\nto bed.\"", "\"What age were you when you went to Lowood?\"", "\"About ten.\"", "\"And you stayed there eight years: you are now, then, eighteen?\"", "I assented.", "\"Arithmetic, you see, is useful; without its aid, I should hardly have\nbeen able to guess your age.", "It is a point difficult to fix where the\nfeatures and countenance are so much at variance as in your case.", "And\nnow what did you learn at Lowood?", "Can you play?\"", "\"A little.\"", "\"Of course: that is the established answer.", "Go into the library--I mean,\nif you please.--(Excuse my tone of command; I am used to say, 'Do this,'\nand it is done: I cannot alter my customary habits for one new\ninmate.)", "--Go, then, into the library; take a candle with you; leave the\ndoor open; sit down to the piano, and play a tune.\"", "I departed, obeying his directions.", "\"Enough!\"", "he called out in a few minutes.", "\"You play _a little_, I see;\nlike any other English school-girl; perhaps rather better than some, but\nnot well.\"", "I closed the piano and returned.", "Mr. Rochester continued--\"Adele showed\nme some sketches this morning, which she said were yours.", "I don't know\nwhether they were entirely of your doing; probably a master aided you?\"", "\"No, indeed!\"", "I interjected.", "\"Ah!", "that pricks pride.", "Well, fetch me your portfolio, if you can vouch\nfor its contents being original; but don't pass your word unless you are\ncertain: I can recognise patchwork.\"", "\"Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for yourself, sir.\"", "I brought the portfolio from the library.", "\"Approach the table,\" said he; and I wheeled it to his couch.", "Adele and\nMrs. Fairfax drew near to see the pictures.", "\"No crowding,\" said Mr. Rochester: \"take the drawings from my hand as I\nfinish with them; but don't push your faces up to mine.\"", "He deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting.", "Three he laid\naside; the others, when he had examined them, he swept from him.", "\"Take them off to the other table, Mrs. Fairfax,\" said he, \"and look at\nthem with Adele;--you\" (glancing at me) \"resume your seat, and answer my\nquestions.", "I perceive those pictures were done by one hand: was that\nhand yours?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And when did you find time to do them?", "They have taken much time, and\nsome thought.\"", "\"I did them in the last two vacations I spent at Lowood, when I had no\nother occupation.\"", "\"Where did you get your copies?\"", "\"Out of my head.\"", "\"That head I see now on your shoulders?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Has it other furniture of the same kind within?\"", "\"I should think it may have: I should hope--better.\"", "He spread the pictures before him, and again surveyed them alternately.", "While he is so occupied, I will tell you, reader, what they are: and\nfirst, I must premise that they are nothing wonderful.", "The subjects had,\nindeed, risen vividly on my mind.", "As I saw them with the spiritual eye,\nbefore I attempted to embody them, they were striking; but my hand would\nnot second my fancy, and in each case it had wrought out but a pale\nportrait of the thing I had conceived.", "These pictures were in water-colours.", "The first represented clouds low\nand livid, rolling over a swollen sea: all the distance was in eclipse;\nso, too, was the foreground; or rather, the nearest billows, for there\nwas no land.", "One gleam of light lifted into relief a half-submerged\nmast, on which sat a cormorant, dark and large, with wings flecked with\nfoam; its beak held a gold bracelet set with gems, that I had touched\nwith as brilliant tints as my palette could yield, and as glittering\ndistinctness as my pencil could impart.", "Sinking below the bird and mast,\na drowned corpse glanced through the green water; a fair arm was the only\nlimb clearly visible, whence the bracelet had been washed or torn.", "The second picture contained for foreground only the dim peak of a hill,\nwith grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze.", "Beyond and above\nspread an expanse of sky, dark blue as at twilight: rising into the sky\nwas a woman's shape to the bust, portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as I\ncould combine.", "The dim forehead was crowned with a star; the lineaments\nbelow were seen as through the suffusion of vapour; the eyes shone dark\nand wild; the hair streamed shadowy, like a beamless cloud torn by storm\nor by electric travail.", "On the neck lay a pale reflection like\nmoonlight; the same faint lustre touched the train of thin clouds from\nwhich rose and bowed this vision of the Evening Star.", "The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a polar winter sky:\na muster of northern lights reared their dim lances, close serried, along\nthe horizon.", "Throwing these into distance, rose, in the foreground, a\nhead,--a colossal head, inclined towards the iceberg, and resting against\nit.", "Two thin hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew\nup before the lower features a sable veil, a brow quite bloodless, white\nas bone, and an eye hollow and fixed, blank of meaning but for the\nglassiness of despair, alone were visible.", "Above the temples, amidst\nwreathed turban folds of black drapery, vague in its character and\nconsistency as cloud, gleamed a ring of white flame, gemmed with sparkles\nof a more lurid tinge.", "This pale crescent was \"the likeness of a kingly\ncrown;\" what it diademed was \"the shape which shape had none.\"", "\"Were you happy when you painted these pictures?\"", "asked Mr. Rochester\npresently.", "\"I was absorbed, sir: yes, and I was happy.", "To paint them, in short, was\nto enjoy one of the keenest pleasures I have ever known.\"", "\"That is not saying much.", "Your pleasures, by your own account, have been\nfew; but I daresay you did exist in a kind of artist's dreamland while\nyou blent and arranged these strange tints.", "Did you sit at them long\neach day?\"", "\"I had nothing else to do, because it was the vacation, and I sat at them\nfrom morning till noon, and from noon till night: the length of the\nmidsummer days favoured my inclination to apply.\"", "\"And you felt self-satisfied with the result of your ardent labours?\"", "\"Far from it.", "I was tormented by the contrast between my idea and my\nhandiwork: in each case I had imagined something which I was quite\npowerless to realise.\"", "\"Not quite: you have secured the shadow of your thought; but no more,\nprobably.", "You had not enough of the artist's skill and science to give\nit full being: yet the drawings are, for a school-girl, peculiar.", "As to\nthe thoughts, they are elfish.", "These eyes in the Evening Star you must\nhave seen in a dream.", "How could you make them look so clear, and yet not\nat all brilliant?", "for the planet above quells their rays.", "And what\nmeaning is that in their solemn depth?", "And who taught you to paint wind?", "There is a high gale in that sky, and on this hill-top.", "Where did you\nsee Latmos?", "For that is Latmos.", "There!", "put the drawings away!\"", "I had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio, when, looking at his\nwatch, he said abruptly--\n\n\"It is nine o'clock: what are you about, Miss Eyre, to let Adele sit up\nso long?", "Take her to bed.\"", "Adele went to kiss him before quitting the room: he endured the caress,\nbut scarcely seemed to relish it more than Pilot would have done, nor so\nmuch.", "\"I wish you all good-night, now,\" said he, making a movement of the hand\ntowards the door, in token that he was tired of our company, and wished\nto dismiss us.", "Mrs. Fairfax folded up her knitting: I took my portfolio:\nwe curtseyed to him, received a frigid bow in return, and so withdrew.", "\"You said Mr. Rochester was not strikingly peculiar, Mrs. Fairfax,\" I\nobserved, when I rejoined her in her room, after putting Adele to bed.", "\"Well, is he?\"", "\"I think so: he is very changeful and abrupt.\"", "\"True: no doubt he may appear so to a stranger, but I am so accustomed to\nhis manner, I never think of it; and then, if he has peculiarities of\ntemper, allowance should be made.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Partly because it is his nature--and we can none of us help our nature;\nand partly because he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him, and\nmake his spirits unequal.\"", "\"What about?\"", "\"Family troubles, for one thing.\"", "\"But he has no family.\"", "\"Not now, but he has had--or, at least, relatives.", "He lost his elder\nbrother a few years since.\"", "\"His _elder_ brother?\"", "\"Yes.", "The present Mr. Rochester has not been very long in possession of\nthe property; only about nine years.\"", "\"Nine years is a tolerable time.", "Was he so very fond of his brother as\nto be still inconsolable for his loss?\"", "\"Why, no--perhaps not.", "I believe there were some misunderstandings\nbetween them.", "Mr. Rowland Rochester was not quite just to Mr. Edward;\nand perhaps he prejudiced his father against him.", "The old gentleman was\nfond of money, and anxious to keep the family estate together.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it.", "He is not very forgiving: he\nbroke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled\nkind of life.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "\"Why should he shun it?\"", "\"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.\"", "The answer was evasive.", "I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs.\nFairfax either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information\nof the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.", "She averred they\nwere a mystery to herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from\nconjecture.", "It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the\nsubject, which I did accordingly." ]

[ "She\nhastened to ring the bell; and when the tray came, she proceeded to\narrange the cups, spoons, &c., with assiduous celerity.", "As he took the cup from my hand, Adele, thinking the\nmoment propitious for making a request in my favour, cried out--\n\n\"N'est-ce pas, monsieur, qu'il y a un cadeau pour Mademoiselle Eyre dans\nvotre petit coffre?\"", "\"Who recommended you to come here?\"", "that pricks pride.", "He deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting.", "\"Out of my head.\"", "This pale crescent was \"the likeness of a kingly\ncrown;\" what it diademed was \"the shape which shape had none.\"", "And what\nmeaning is that in their solemn depth?", "Take her to bed.\"", "\"What about?\"" ]

[ "Half reclined on a couch appeared Mr. Rochester, his foot\nsupported by the cushion; he was looking at Adele and the dog: the fire\nshone full on his face.", "\"Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as Adele: she demands a\n'cadeau,' clamorously, the moment she sees me: you beat about the bush.\"", "\"Come to the fire,\" said the master, when the tray was taken away, and\nMrs. Fairfax had settled into a corner with her knitting; while Adele was\nleading me by the hand round the room, showing me the beautiful books and\nornaments on the consoles and chiffonnieres.", "\"Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for yourself, sir.\"", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "Go into the library--I mean,\nif you please.--(Excuse my tone of command; I am used to say, 'Do this,'\nand it is done: I cannot alter my customary habits for one new\ninmate.)", "\"Ah!", "Two thin hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew\nup before the lower features a sable veil, a brow quite bloodless, white\nas bone, and an eye hollow and fixed, blank of meaning but for the\nglassiness of despair, alone were visible.", "I sat down quite disembarrassed.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief." ]

[ "\"And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses\nwould worship their director.\"", "\"Oh, no.\"", "\"You are very cool!", "No!", "What!", "a novice not worship her priest!", "That\nsounds blasphemous.\"", "\"I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.", "He is\na harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for\neconomy's sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could\nhardly sew.\"", "\"That was very false economy,\" remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again\ncaught the drift of the dialogue.", "\"And was that the head and front of his offending?\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon's orders, went to bed early that\nnight; nor did he rise soon next morning.", "When he did come down, it was\nto attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived,\nand waiting to speak with him.", "Adele and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily\nrequisition as a reception-room for callers.", "A fire was lit in an\napartment upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for\nthe future schoolroom.", "I discerned in the course of the morning that\nThornfield Hall was a changed place: no longer silent as a church, it\nechoed every hour or two to a knock at the door, or a clang of the bell;\nsteps, too, often traversed the hall, and new voices spoke in different\nkeys below; a rill from the outer world was flowing through it; it had a\nmaster: for my part, I liked it better.", "Adele was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept\nrunning to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could\nget a glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go\ndownstairs, in order, as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library,\nwhere I knew she was not wanted; then, when I got a little angry, and\nmade her sit still, she continued to talk incessantly of her \"ami,\nMonsieur Edouard Fairfax _de_ Rochester,\" as she dubbed him (I had not\nbefore heard his prenomens), and to conjecture what presents he had\nbrought her: for it appears he had intimated the night before, that when\nhis luggage came from Millcote, there would be found amongst it a little\nbox in whose contents she had an interest.", "\"Et cela doit signifier,\" said she, \"qu'il y aura la dedans un cadeau\npour moi, et peut-etre pour vous aussi, mademoiselle.", "Monsieur a parle\nde vous: il m'a demande le nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n'etait pas\nune petite personne, assez mince et un peu pale.", "J'ai dit qu'oui: car\nc'est vrai, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?\"", "I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax's parlour; the afternoon\nwas wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom.", "He did\nnot like to diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious\nthat Mr. Edward should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of\nthe name; and, soon after he was of age, some steps were taken that were\nnot quite fair, and made a great deal of mischief.", "Old Mr. Rochester and\nMr. Rowland combined to bring Mr. Edward into what he considered a\npainful position, for the sake of making his fortune: what the precise\nnature of that position was I never clearly knew, but his spirit could\nnot brook what he had to suffer in it.", "He is not very forgiving: he\nbroke with his family, and now for many years he has led an unsettled\nkind of life.", "I don't think he has ever been resident at Thornfield for\na fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a will left\nhim master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old place.\"", "\"Why should he shun it?\"", "\"Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.\"", "The answer was evasive.", "I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs.\nFairfax either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information\nof the origin and nature of Mr. Rochester's trials.", "She averred they\nwere a mystery to herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from\nconjecture.", "It was evident, indeed, that she wished me to drop the\nsubject, which I did accordingly." ]

[ "\n\nFor several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester.", "In the\nmornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,\ngentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimes stayed\nto dine with him.", "When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse\nexercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to return these visits, as he\ngenerally did not come back till late at night.", "During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence, and\nall my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasional rencontre in\nthe hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would sometimes pass\nme haughtily and coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod\nor a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike\naffability.", "His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I\nhad nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on\ncauses quite disconnected with me.", "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "Soon after they were gone he rang the bell: a message came that I and\nAdele were to go downstairs.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "She was gratified: there\nit stood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.", "She appeared to know it by instinct.", "\"Ma boite!", "ma boite!\"", "exclaimed she, running towards it.", "\"Yes, there is your 'boite' at last: take it into a corner, you genuine\ndaughter of Paris, and amuse yourself with disembowelling it,\" said the\ndeep and rather sarcastic voice of Mr. Rochester, proceeding from the\ndepths of an immense easy-chair at the fireside.", "\"And mind,\" he\ncontinued, \"don't bother me with any details of the anatomical process,\nor any notice of the condition of the entrails: let your operation be\nconducted in silence: tiens-toi tranquille, enfant; comprends-tu?\"", "Adele seemed scarcely to need the warning--she had already retired to a\nsofa with her treasure, and was busy untying the cord which secured the\nlid.", "Having removed this impediment, and lifted certain silvery\nenvelopes of tissue paper, she merely exclaimed--\n\n\"Oh ciel!", "Que c'est beau!\"", "and then remained absorbed in ecstatic\ncontemplation.", "\"Is Miss Eyre there?\"", "now demanded the master, half rising from his seat\nto look round to the door, near which I still stood.", "\"Ah!", "well, come forward; be seated here.\"", "He drew a chair near his own.", "\"I am not fond of the prattle of children,\" he continued; \"for, old\nbachelor as I am, I have no pleasant associations connected with their\nlisp.", "It would be intolerable to me to pass a whole evening\n_tete-a-tete_ with a brat.", "Don't draw that chair farther off, Miss Eyre;\nsit down exactly where I placed it--if you please, that is.", "Confound\nthese civilities!", "I continually forget them.", "Nor do I particularly\naffect simple-minded old ladies.", "By-the-bye, I must have mine in mind;\nit won't do to neglect her; she is a Fairfax, or wed to one; and blood is\nsaid to be thicker than water.\"", "He rang, and despatched an invitation to Mrs. Fairfax, who soon arrived,\nknitting-basket in hand.", "\"Good evening, madam; I sent to you for a charitable purpose.", "I have\nforbidden Adele to talk to me about her presents, and she is bursting\nwith repletion: have the goodness to serve her as auditress and\ninterlocutrice; it will be one of the most benevolent acts you ever\nperformed.\"", "Adele, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax, than she summoned her to her\nsofa, and there quickly filled her lap with the porcelain, the ivory, the\nwaxen contents of her \"boite;\" pouring out, meantime, explanations and\nraptures in such broken English as she was mistress of.", "\"Now I have performed the part of a good host,\" pursued Mr. Rochester,\n\"put my guests into the way of amusing each other, I ought to be at\nliberty to attend to my own pleasure.", "Miss Eyre, draw your chair still a\nlittle farther forward: you are yet too far back; I cannot see you\nwithout disturbing my position in this comfortable chair, which I have no\nmind to do.\"", "I did as I was bid, though I would much rather have remained somewhat in\nthe shade; but Mr. Rochester had such a direct way of giving orders, it\nseemed a matter of course to obey him promptly.", "We were, as I have said, in the dining-room: the lustre, which had been\nlit for dinner, filled the room with a festal breadth of light; the large\nfire was all red and clear; the purple curtains hung rich and ample\nbefore the lofty window and loftier arch; everything was still, save the\nsubdued chat of Adele (she dared not speak loud), and, filling up each\npause, the beating of winter rain against the panes.", "Mr. Rochester, as he sat in his damask-covered chair, looked different to\nwhat I had seen him look before; not quite so stern--much less gloomy.", "There was a smile on his lips, and his eyes sparkled, whether with wine\nor not, I am not sure; but I think it very probable.", "He was, in short,\nin his after-dinner mood; more expanded and genial, and also more self-\nindulgent than the frigid and rigid temper of the morning; still he\nlooked preciously grim, cushioning his massive head against the swelling\nback of his chair, and receiving the light of the fire on his granite-\nhewn features, and in his great, dark eyes; for he had great, dark eyes,\nand very fine eyes, too--not without a certain change in their depths\nsometimes, which, if it was not softness, reminded you, at least, of that\nfeeling.", "He had been looking two minutes at the fire, and I had been looking the\nsame length of time at him, when, turning suddenly, he caught my gaze\nfastened on his physiognomy.", "\"You examine me, Miss Eyre,\" said he: \"do you think me handsome?\"", "I should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this question by\nsomething conventionally vague and polite; but the answer somehow slipped\nfrom my tongue before I was aware--\"No, sir.\"", "\"Ah!", "By my word!", "there is something singular about you,\" said he: \"you\nhave the air of a little _nonnette_; quaint, quiet, grave, and simple, as\nyou sit with your hands before you, and your eyes generally bent on the\ncarpet (except, by-the-bye, when they are directed piercingly to my face;\nas just now, for instance); and when one asks you a question, or makes a\nremark to which you are obliged to reply, you rap out a round rejoinder,\nwhich, if not blunt, is at least brusque.", "What do you mean by it?\"", "\"Sir, I was too plain; I beg your pardon.", "I ought to have replied that\nit was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a question about\nappearances; that tastes mostly differ; and that beauty is of little\nconsequence, or something of that sort.\"", "\"You ought to have replied no such thing.", "Beauty of little consequence,\nindeed!", "And so, under pretence of softening the previous outrage, of\nstroking and soothing me into placidity, you stick a sly penknife under\nmy ear!", "Go on: what fault do you find with me, pray?", "I suppose I have\nall my limbs and all my features like any other man?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, allow me to disown my first answer: I intended no pointed\nrepartee: it was only a blunder.\"", "\"Just so: I think so: and you shall be answerable for it.", "Criticise me:\ndoes my forehead not please you?\"", "He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizontally over his\nbrow, and showed a solid enough mass of intellectual organs, but an\nabrupt deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence should have risen.", "\"Now, ma'am, am I a fool?\"", "\"Far from it, sir.", "You would, perhaps, think me rude if I inquired in\nreturn whether you are a philanthropist?\"", "\"There again!", "Another stick of the penknife, when she pretended to pat\nmy head: and that is because I said I did not like the society of\nchildren and old women (low be it spoken!).", "No, young lady, I am not a\ngeneral philanthropist; but I bear a conscience;\" and he pointed to the\nprominences which are said to indicate that faculty, and which,\nfortunately for him, were sufficiently conspicuous; giving, indeed, a\nmarked breadth to the upper part of his head: \"and, besides, I once had a\nkind of rude tenderness of heart.", "When I was as old as you, I was a\nfeeling fellow enough, partial to the unfledged, unfostered, and unlucky;\nbut Fortune has knocked me about since: she has even kneaded me with her\nknuckles, and now I flatter myself I am hard and tough as an India-rubber\nball; pervious, though, through a chink or two still, and with one\nsentient point in the middle of the lump.", "Yes: does that leave hope for\nme?\"", "\"Hope of what, sir?\"", "\"Of my final re-transformation from India-rubber back to flesh?\"", "\"Decidedly he has had too much wine,\" I thought; and I did not know what\nanswer to make to his queer question: how could I tell whether he was\ncapable of being re-transformed?", "\"You looked very much puzzled, Miss Eyre; and though you are not pretty\nany more than I am handsome, yet a puzzled air becomes you; besides, it\nis convenient, for it keeps those searching eyes of yours away from my\nphysiognomy, and busies them with the worsted flowers of the rug; so\npuzzle on.", "Young lady, I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative\nto-night.\"", "With this announcement he rose from his chair, and stood, leaning his arm\non the marble mantelpiece: in that attitude his shape was seen plainly as\nwell as his face; his unusual breadth of chest, disproportionate almost\nto his length of limb.", "I am sure most people would have thought him an\nugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port; so much\nease in his demeanour; such a look of complete indifference to his own\nexternal appearance; so haughty a reliance on the power of other\nqualities, intrinsic or adventitious, to atone for the lack of mere\npersonal attractiveness, that, in looking at him, one inevitably shared\nthe indifference, and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith in the\nconfidence.", "\"I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to-night,\" he repeated,\n\"and that is why I sent for you: the fire and the chandelier were not\nsufficient company for me; nor would Pilot have been, for none of these\ncan talk.", "Adele is a degree better, but still far below the mark; Mrs.\nFairfax ditto; you, I am persuaded, can suit me if you will: you puzzled\nme the first evening I invited you down here.", "I have almost forgotten\nyou since: other ideas have driven yours from my head; but to-night I am\nresolved to be at ease; to dismiss what importunes, and recall what\npleases.", "It would please me now to draw you out--to learn more of\nyou--therefore speak.\"", "Instead of speaking, I smiled; and not a very complacent or submissive\nsmile either.", "\"Speak,\" he urged.", "\"What about, sir?\"", "\"Whatever you like.", "I leave both the choice of subject and the manner of\ntreating it entirely to yourself.\"", "Accordingly I sat and said nothing: \"If he expects me to talk for the\nmere sake of talking and showing off, he will find he has addressed\nhimself to the wrong person,\" I thought.", "\"You are dumb, Miss Eyre.\"", "I was dumb still.", "He bent his head a little towards me, and with a\nsingle hasty glance seemed to dive into my eyes.", "\"Stubborn?\"", "he said, \"and annoyed.", "Ah!", "it is consistent.", "I put my\nrequest in an absurd, almost insolent form.", "Miss Eyre, I beg your\npardon.", "The fact is, once for all, I don't wish to treat you like an\ninferior: that is\" (correcting himself), \"I claim only such superiority\nas must result from twenty years' difference in age and a century's\nadvance in experience.", "This is legitimate, _et j'y tiens_, as Adele\nwould say; and it is by virtue of this superiority, and this alone, that\nI desire you to have the goodness to talk to me a little now, and divert\nmy thoughts, which are galled with dwelling on one point--cankering as a\nrusty nail.\"", "He had deigned an explanation, almost an apology, and I did not feel\ninsensible to his condescension, and would not seem so.", "\"I am willing to amuse you, if I can, sir--quite willing; but I cannot\nintroduce a topic, because how do I know what will interest you?", "Ask me\nquestions, and I will do my best to answer them.\"", "\"Then, in the first place, do you agree with me that I have a right to be\na little masterful, abrupt, perhaps exacting, sometimes, on the grounds I\nstated, namely, that I am old enough to be your father, and that I have\nbattled through a varied experience with many men of many nations, and\nroamed over half the globe, while you have lived quietly with one set of\npeople in one house?\"", "\"Do as you please, sir.\"", "\"That is no answer; or rather it is a very irritating, because a very\nevasive one.", "Reply clearly.\"", "\"I don't think, sir, you have a right to command me, merely because you\nare older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have;\nyour claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time\nand experience.\"", "\"Humph!", "Promptly spoken.", "But I won't allow that, seeing that it would\nnever suit my case, as I have made an indifferent, not to say a bad, use\nof both advantages.", "Leaving superiority out of the question, then, you\nmust still agree to receive my orders now and then, without being piqued\nor hurt by the tone of command.", "Will you?\"", "I smiled: I thought to myself Mr. Rochester _is_ peculiar--he seems to\nforget that he pays me 30 pounds per annum for receiving his orders.", "\"The smile is very well,\" said he, catching instantly the passing\nexpression; \"but speak too.\"", "\"I was thinking, sir, that very few masters would trouble themselves to\ninquire whether or not their paid subordinates were piqued and hurt by\ntheir orders.\"", "\"Paid subordinates!", "What!", "you are my paid subordinate, are you?", "Oh yes,\nI had forgotten the salary!", "Well then, on that mercenary ground, will\nyou agree to let me hector a little?\"", "\"No, sir, not on that ground; but, on the ground that you did forget it,\nand that you care whether or not a dependent is comfortable in his\ndependency, I agree heartily.\"", "\"And will you consent to dispense with a great many conventional forms\nand phrases, without thinking that the omission arises from insolence?\"", "\"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence: one I\nrather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to, even for a\nsalary.\"", "\"Humbug!", "Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;\ntherefore, keep to yourself, and don't venture on generalities of which\nyou are intensely ignorant.", "However, I mentally shake hands with you for\nyour answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much for the manner in which\nit was said, as for the substance of the speech; the manner was frank and\nsincere; one does not often see such a manner: no, on the contrary,\naffectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of\none's meaning are the usual rewards of candour.", "Not three in three\nthousand raw school-girl-governesses would have answered me as you have\njust done.", "But I don't mean to flatter you: if you are cast in a\ndifferent mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: Nature did it.", "And then, after all, I go too fast in my conclusions: for what I yet\nknow, you may be no better than the rest; you may have intolerable\ndefects to counterbalance your few good points.\"", "\"And so may you,\" I thought.", "My eye met his as the idea crossed my mind:\nhe seemed to read the glance, answering as if its import had been spoken\nas well as imagined--\n\n\"Yes, yes, you are right,\" said he; \"I have plenty of faults of my own: I\nknow it, and I don't wish to palliate them, I assure you.", "God wot I need\nnot be too severe about others; I have a past existence, a series of\ndeeds, a colour of life to contemplate within my own breast, which might\nwell call my sneers and censures from my neighbours to myself.", "I\nstarted, or rather (for like other defaulters, I like to lay half the\nblame on ill fortune and adverse circumstances) was thrust on to a wrong\ntack at the age of one-and-twenty, and have never recovered the right\ncourse since: but I might have been very different; I might have been as\ngood as you--wiser--almost as stainless.", "I envy you your peace of mind,\nyour clean conscience, your unpolluted memory.", "Little girl, a memory\nwithout blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure--an\ninexhaustible source of pure refreshment: is it not?\"", "\"How was your memory when you were eighteen, sir?\"", "\"All right then; limpid, salubrious: no gush of bilge water had turned it\nto fetid puddle.", "I was your equal at eighteen--quite your equal.", "Nature\nmeant me to be, on the whole, a good man, Miss Eyre; one of the better\nkind, and you see I am not so.", "You would say you don't see it; at least\nI flatter myself I read as much in your eye (beware, by-the-bye, what you\nexpress with that organ; I am quick at interpreting its language).", "Then\ntake my word for it,--I am not a villain: you are not to suppose that--not\nto attribute to me any such bad eminence; but, owing, I verily believe,\nrather to circumstances than to my natural bent, I am a trite commonplace\nsinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipations with which the rich\nand worthless try to put on life.", "Do you wonder that I avow this to you?", "Know, that in the course of your future life you will often find yourself\nelected the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances' secrets: people\nwill instinctively find out, as I have done, that it is not your forte to\ntell of yourself, but to listen while others talk of themselves; they\nwill feel, too, that you listen with no malevolent scorn of their\nindiscretion, but with a kind of innate sympathy; not the less comforting\nand encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations.\"", "\"How do you know?--how can you guess all this, sir?\"", "\"I know it well; therefore I proceed almost as freely as if I were\nwriting my thoughts in a diary.", "You would say, I should have been\nsuperior to circumstances; so I should--so I should; but you see I was\nnot.", "When fate wronged me, I had not the wisdom to remain cool: I turned\ndesperate; then I degenerated.", "Now, when any vicious simpleton excites\nmy disgust by his paltry ribaldry, I cannot flatter myself that I am\nbetter than he: I am forced to confess that he and I are on a level.", "I\nwish I had stood firm--God knows I do!", "Dread remorse when you are\ntempted to err, Miss Eyre; remorse is the poison of life.\"", "\"Repentance is said to be its cure, sir.\"", "\"It is not its cure.", "Reformation may be its cure; and I could reform--I\nhave strength yet for that--if--but where is the use of thinking of it,\nhampered, burdened, cursed as I am?", "Besides, since happiness is\nirrevocably denied me, I have a right to get pleasure out of life: and I\n_will_ get it, cost what it may.\"", "\"Then you will degenerate still more, sir.\"", "\"Possibly: yet why should I, if I can get sweet, fresh pleasure?", "And I\nmay get it as sweet and fresh as the wild honey the bee gathers on the\nmoor.\"", "\"It will sting--it will taste bitter, sir.\"", "\"How do you know?--you never tried it.", "How very serious--how very solemn\nyou look: and you are as ignorant of the matter as this cameo head\"\n(taking one from the mantelpiece).", "\"You have no right to preach to me,\nyou neophyte, that have not passed the porch of life, and are absolutely\nunacquainted with its mysteries.\"", "\"I only remind you of your own words, sir: you said error brought\nremorse, and you pronounced remorse the poison of existence.\"", "\"And who talks of error now?", "I scarcely think the notion that flittered\nacross my brain was an error.", "I believe it was an inspiration rather\nthan a temptation: it was very genial, very soothing--I know that.", "Here\nit comes again!", "It is no devil, I assure you; or if it be, it has put on\nthe robes of an angel of light.", "I think I must admit so fair a guest\nwhen it asks entrance to my heart.\"", "\"Distrust it, sir; it is not a true angel.\"", "\"Once more, how do you know?", "By what instinct do you pretend to\ndistinguish between a fallen seraph of the abyss and a messenger from the\neternal throne--between a guide and a seducer?\"", "\"I judged by your countenance, sir, which was troubled when you said the\nsuggestion had returned upon you.", "I feel sure it will work you more\nmisery if you listen to it.\"", "\"Not at all--it bears the most gracious message in the world: for the\nrest, you are not my conscience-keeper, so don't make yourself uneasy.", "Here, come in, bonny wanderer!\"", "He said this as if he spoke to a vision, viewless to any eye but his own;\nthen, folding his arms, which he had half extended, on his chest, he\nseemed to enclose in their embrace the invisible being.", "\"Now,\" he continued, again addressing me, \"I have received the pilgrim--a\ndisguised deity, as I verily believe.", "Already it has done me good: my\nheart was a sort of charnel; it will now be a shrine.\"", "\"To speak truth, sir, I don't understand you at all: I cannot keep up the\nconversation, because it has got out of my depth.", "Only one thing, I\nknow: you said you were not as good as you should like to be, and that\nyou regretted your own imperfection;--one thing I can comprehend: you\nintimated that to have a sullied memory was a perpetual bane.", "It seems\nto me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to\nbecome what you yourself would approve; and that if from this day you\nbegan with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would in\na few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to\nwhich you might revert with pleasure.\"", "\"Justly thought; rightly said, Miss Eyre; and, at this moment, I am\npaving hell with energy.\"", "\"Sir?\"", "\"I am laying down good intentions, which I believe durable as flint.", "Certainly, my associates and pursuits shall be other than they have\nbeen.\"", "\"And better?\"", "\"And better--so much better as pure ore is than foul dross.", "You seem to\ndoubt me; I don't doubt myself: I know what my aim is, what my motives\nare; and at this moment I pass a law, unalterable as that of the Medes\nand Persians, that both are right.\"", "\"They cannot be, sir, if they require a new statute to legalise them.\"", "\"They are, Miss Eyre, though they absolutely require a new statute:\nunheard-of combinations of circumstances demand unheard-of rules.\"", "\"That sounds a dangerous maxim, sir; because one can see at once that it\nis liable to abuse.\"", "\"Sententious sage!", "so it is: but I swear by my household gods not to\nabuse it.\"", "\"You are human and fallible.\"", "\"I am: so are you--what then?\"", "\"The human and fallible should not arrogate a power with which the divine\nand perfect alone can be safely intrusted.\"", "\"What power?\"", "\"That of saying of any strange, unsanctioned line of action,--'Let it be\nright.'\"", "\"'Let it be right'--the very words: you have pronounced them.\"", "\"_May_ it be right then,\" I said, as I rose, deeming it useless to\ncontinue a discourse which was all darkness to me; and, besides, sensible\nthat the character of my interlocutor was beyond my penetration; at\nleast, beyond its present reach; and feeling the uncertainty, the vague\nsense of insecurity, which accompanies a conviction of ignorance.", "\"Where are you going?\"", "\"To put Adele to bed: it is past her bedtime.\"", "\"You are afraid of me, because I talk like a Sphynx.\"", "\"Your language is enigmatical, sir: but though I am bewildered, I am\ncertainly not afraid.\"", "\"You _are_ afraid--your self-love dreads a blunder.\"", "\"In that sense I do feel apprehensive--I have no wish to talk nonsense.\"", "\"If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet manner, I should mistake\nit for sense.", "Do you never laugh, Miss Eyre?", "Don't trouble yourself to\nanswer--I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe\nme, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.", "The Lowood constraint still clings to you somewhat; controlling your\nfeatures, muffling your voice, and restricting your limbs; and you fear\nin the presence of a man and a brother--or father, or master, or what you\nwill--to smile too gaily, speak too freely, or move too quickly: but, in\ntime, I think you will learn to be natural with me, as I find it\nimpossible to be conventional with you; and then your looks and movements\nwill have more vivacity and variety than they dare offer now.", "I see at\nintervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close-set bars\nof a cage: a vivid, restless, resolute captive is there; were it but\nfree, it would soar cloud-high.", "You are still bent on going?\"", "\"It has struck nine, sir.\"", "\"Never mind,--wait a minute: Adele is not ready to go to bed yet.", "My\nposition, Miss Eyre, with my back to the fire, and my face to the room,\nfavours observation.", "While talking to you, I have also occasionally\nwatched Adele (I have my own reasons for thinking her a curious\nstudy,--reasons that I may, nay, that I shall, impart to you some day).", "She pulled out of her box, about ten minutes ago, a little pink silk\nfrock; rapture lit her face as she unfolded it; coquetry runs in her\nblood, blends with her brains, and seasons the marrow of her bones.", "'Il\nfaut que je l'essaie!'", "cried she, 'et a l'instant meme!'", "and she rushed\nout of the room.", "She is now with Sophie, undergoing a robing process: in\na few minutes she will re-enter; and I know what I shall see,--a\nminiature of Celine Varens, as she used to appear on the boards at the\nrising of--But never mind that.", "However, my tenderest feelings are about\nto receive a shock: such is my presentiment; stay now, to see whether it\nwill be realised.\"", "Ere long, Adele's little foot was heard tripping across the hall.", "She\nentered, transformed as her guardian had predicted.", "A dress of\nrose-coloured satin, very short, and as full in the skirt as it could be\ngathered, replaced the brown frock she had previously worn; a wreath of\nrosebuds circled her forehead; her feet were dressed in silk stockings\nand small white satin sandals.", "\"Est-ce que ma robe va bien?\"", "cried she, bounding forwards; \"et mes\nsouliers?", "et mes bas?", "Tenez, je crois que je vais danser!\"", "And spreading out her dress, she chasseed across the room till, having\nreached Mr. Rochester, she wheeled lightly round before him on tip-toe,\nthen dropped on one knee at his feet, exclaiming--\n\n\"Monsieur, je vous remercie mille fois de votre bonte;\" then rising, she\nadded, \"C'est comme cela que maman faisait, n'est-ce pas, monsieur?\"", "\"Pre-cise-ly!\"", "was the answer; \"and, 'comme cela,' she charmed my English\ngold out of my British breeches' pocket.", "I have been green, too, Miss\nEyre,--ay, grass green: not a more vernal tint freshens you now than once\nfreshened me.", "My Spring is gone, however, but it has left me that French\nfloweret on my hands, which, in some moods, I would fain be rid of.", "Not\nvaluing now the root whence it sprang; having found that it was of a sort\nwhich nothing but gold dust could manure, I have but half a liking to the\nblossom, especially when it looks so artificial as just now.", "I keep it\nand rear it rather on the Roman Catholic principle of expiating numerous\nsins, great or small, by one good work.", "I'll explain all this some day.", "Good-night.\"", "Mr. Rochester did, on a future occasion, explain it.", "It was one\nafternoon, when he chanced to meet me and Adele in the grounds: and while\nshe played with Pilot and her shuttlecock, he asked me to walk up and\ndown a long beech avenue within sight of her.", "He then said that she was the daughter of a French opera-dancer, Celine\nVarens, towards whom he had once cherished what he called a \"_grande\npassion_.\"", "This passion Celine had professed to return with even\nsuperior ardour.", "He thought himself her idol, ugly as he was: he\nbelieved, as he said, that she preferred his \"_taille d'athlete_\" to the\nelegance of the Apollo Belvidere.", "\"And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this preference of the Gallic\nsylph for her British gnome, that I installed her in an hotel; gave her a\ncomplete establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds,\ndentelles, &c. In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the\nreceived style, like any other spoony.", "I had not, it seems, the\noriginality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction, but trode\nthe old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from the\nbeaten centre.", "I had--as I deserved to have--the fate of all other\nspoonies.", "Happening to call one evening when Celine did not expect me, I\nfound her out; but it was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling\nthrough Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air\nconsecrated so lately by her presence.", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "I was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of\nconservatory flowers and sprinkled essences, when I bethought myself to\nopen the window and step out on to the balcony.", "It was moonlight and\ngaslight besides, and very still and serene.", "The balcony was furnished\nwith a chair or two; I sat down, and took out a cigar,--I will take one\nnow, if you will excuse me.\"", "Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar;\nhaving placed it to his lips and breathed a trail of Havannah incense on\nthe freezing and sunless air, he went on--\n\n\"I liked bonbons too in those days, Miss Eyre, and I was\n_croquant_--(overlook the barbarism)--_croquant_ chocolate comfits, and\nsmoking alternately, watching meantime the equipages that rolled along\nthe fashionable streets towards the neighbouring opera-house, when in an\nelegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses, and\ndistinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognised the 'voiture' I\nhad given Celine.", "She was returning: of course my heart thumped with\nimpatience against the iron rails I leant upon.", "The carriage stopped, as\nI had expected, at the hotel door; my flame (that is the very word for an\nopera inamorata) alighted: though muffed in a cloak--an unnecessary\nencumbrance, by-the-bye, on so warm a June evening--I knew her instantly\nby her little foot, seen peeping from the skirt of her dress, as she\nskipped from the carriage-step.", "Bending over the balcony, I was about to\nmurmur 'Mon ange'--in a tone, of course, which should be audible to the\near of love alone--when a figure jumped from the carriage after her;\ncloaked also; but that was a spurred heel which had rung on the pavement,\nand that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched _porte\ncochere_ of the hotel.", "\"You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre?", "Of course not: I need not\nask you; because you never felt love.", "You have both sentiments yet to\nexperience: your soul sleeps; the shock is yet to be given which shall\nwaken it.", "You think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as that in\nwhich your youth has hitherto slid away.", "Floating on with closed eyes\nand muffled ears, you neither see the rocks bristling not far off in the\nbed of the flood, nor hear the breakers boil at their base.", "But I tell\nyou--and you may mark my words--you will come some day to a craggy pass\nin the channel, where the whole of life's stream will be broken up into\nwhirl and tumult, foam and noise: either you will be dashed to atoms on\ncrag points, or lifted up and borne on by some master-wave into a calmer\ncurrent--as I am now.", "\"I like this day; I like that sky of steel; I like the sternness and\nstillness of the world under this frost.", "I like Thornfield, its\nantiquity, its retirement, its old crow-trees and thorn-trees, its grey\nfacade, and lines of dark windows reflecting that metal welkin: and yet\nhow long have I abhorred the very thought of it, shunned it like a great\nplague-house?", "How I do still abhor--\"\n\nHe ground his teeth and was silent: he arrested his step and struck his\nboot against the hard ground.", "Some hated thought seemed to have him in\nits grip, and to hold him so tightly that he could not advance.", "We were ascending the avenue when he thus paused; the hall was before us.", "Lifting his eye to its battlements, he cast over them a glare such as I\nnever saw before or since.", "Pain, shame, ire, impatience, disgust,\ndetestation, seemed momentarily to hold a quivering conflict in the large\npupil dilating under his ebon eyebrow.", "Wild was the wrestle which should\nbe paramount; but another feeling rose and triumphed: something hard and\ncynical: self-willed and resolute: it settled his passion and petrified\nhis countenance: he went on--\n\n\"During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre, I was arranging a point with\nmy destiny.", "She stood there, by that beech-trunk--a hag like one of\nthose who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres.", "'You like\nThornfield?'", "she said, lifting her finger; and then she wrote in the air\na memento, which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along the house-front,\nbetween the upper and lower row of windows, 'Like it if you can!", "Like it\nif you dare!'", "\"'I will like it,' said I; 'I dare like it;' and\" (he subjoined moodily)\n\"I will keep my word; I will break obstacles to happiness, to\ngoodness--yes, goodness.", "I wish to be a better man than I have been,\nthan I am; as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, and the\nhabergeon, hindrances which others count as iron and brass, I will esteem\nbut straw and rotten wood.\"", "Adele here ran before him with her shuttlecock.", "\"Away!\"", "he cried\nharshly; \"keep at a distance, child; or go in to Sophie!\"", "Continuing\nthen to pursue his walk in silence, I ventured to recall him to the point\nwhence he had abruptly diverged--\n\n\"Did you leave the balcony, sir,\" I asked, \"when Mdlle.", "Varens entered?\"", "I almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well-timed question, but, on\nthe contrary, waking out of his scowling abstraction, he turned his eyes\ntowards me, and the shade seemed to clear off his brow.", "\"Oh, I had\nforgotten Celine!", "Well, to resume.", "When I saw my charmer thus come in\naccompanied by a cavalier, I seemed to hear a hiss, and the green snake\nof jealousy, rising on undulating coils from the moonlit balcony, glided\nwithin my waistcoat, and ate its way in two minutes to my heart's core.", "Strange!\"", "he exclaimed, suddenly starting again from the point.", "\"Strange\nthat I should choose you for the confidant of all this, young lady;\npassing strange that you should listen to me quietly, as if it were the\nmost usual thing in the world for a man like me to tell stories of his\nopera-mistresses to a quaint, inexperienced girl like you!", "But the last\nsingularity explains the first, as I intimated once before: you, with\nyour gravity, considerateness, and caution were made to be the recipient\nof secrets.", "Besides, I know what sort of a mind I have placed in\ncommunication with my own: I know it is one not liable to take infection:\nit is a peculiar mind: it is a unique one.", "Happily I do not mean to harm\nit: but, if I did, it would not take harm from me.", "The more you and I\nconverse, the better; for while I cannot blight you, you may refresh me.\"", "After this digression he proceeded--\n\n\"I remained in the balcony.", "'They will come to her boudoir, no doubt,'\nthought I: 'let me prepare an ambush.'", "So putting my hand in through the\nopen window, I drew the curtain over it, leaving only an opening through\nwhich I could take observations; then I closed the casement, all but a\nchink just wide enough to furnish an outlet to lovers' whispered vows:\nthen I stole back to my chair; and as I resumed it the pair came in.", "My\neye was quickly at the aperture.", "Celine's chamber-maid entered, lit a\nlamp, left it on the table, and withdrew.", "The couple were thus revealed\nto me clearly: both removed their cloaks, and there was 'the Varens,'\nshining in satin and jewels,--my gifts of course,--and there was her\ncompanion in an officer's uniform; and I knew him for a young roue of a\nvicomte--a brainless and vicious youth whom I had sometimes met in\nsociety, and had never thought of hating because I despised him so\nabsolutely.", "On recognising him, the fang of the snake Jealousy was\ninstantly broken; because at the same moment my love for Celine sank\nunder an extinguisher.", "A woman who could betray me for such a rival was\nnot worth contending for; she deserved only scorn; less, however, than I,\nwho had been her dupe.", "\"They began to talk; their conversation eased me completely: frivolous,\nmercenary, heartless, and senseless, it was rather calculated to weary\nthan enrage a listener.", "A card of mine lay on the table; this being\nperceived, brought my name under discussion.", "Neither of them possessed\nenergy or wit to belabour me soundly, but they insulted me as coarsely as\nthey could in their little way: especially Celine, who even waxed rather\nbrilliant on my personal defects--deformities she termed them.", "Now it\nhad been her custom to launch out into fervent admiration of what she\ncalled my '_beaute male_:' wherein she differed diametrically from you,\nwho told me point-blank, at the second interview, that you did not think\nme handsome.", "The contrast struck me at the time and--\"\n\nAdele here came running up again.", "\"Monsieur, John has just been to say that your agent has called and\nwishes to see you.\"", "\"Ah!", "in that case I must abridge.", "Opening the window, I walked in upon\nthem; liberated Celine from my protection; gave her notice to vacate her\nhotel; offered her a purse for immediate exigencies; disregarded screams,\nhysterics, prayers, protestations, convulsions; made an appointment with\nthe vicomte for a meeting at the Bois de Boulogne.", "Next morning I had\nthe pleasure of encountering him; left a bullet in one of his poor\netiolated arms, feeble as the wing of a chicken in the pip, and then\nthought I had done with the whole crew.", "But unluckily the Varens, six\nmonths before, had given me this filette Adele, who, she affirmed, was my\ndaughter; and perhaps she may be, though I see no proofs of such grim\npaternity written in her countenance: Pilot is more like me than she.", "Some years after I had broken with the mother, she abandoned her child,\nand ran away to Italy with a musician or singer.", "I acknowledged no\nnatural claim on Adele's part to be supported by me, nor do I now\nacknowledge any, for I am not her father; but hearing that she was quite\ndestitute, I e'en took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of Paris,\nand transplanted it here, to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of an\nEnglish country garden.", "Mrs. Fairfax found you to train it; but now you\nknow that it is the illegitimate offspring of a French opera-girl, you\nwill perhaps think differently of your post and protegee: you will be\ncoming to me some day with notice that you have found another place--that\nyou beg me to look out for a new governess, &c.--Eh?\"", "\"No: Adele is not answerable for either her mother's faults or yours: I\nhave a regard for her; and now that I know she is, in a sense,\nparentless--forsaken by her mother and disowned by you, sir--I shall\ncling closer to her than before.", "How could I possibly prefer the spoilt\npet of a wealthy family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance, to a\nlonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a friend?\"", "\"Oh, that is the light in which you view it!", "Well, I must go in now; and\nyou too: it darkens.\"", "But I stayed out a few minutes longer with Adele and Pilot--ran a race\nwith her, and played a game of battledore and shuttlecock.", "When we went\nin, and I had removed her bonnet and coat, I took her on my knee; kept\nher there an hour, allowing her to prattle as she liked: not rebuking\neven some little freedoms and trivialities into which she was apt to\nstray when much noticed, and which betrayed in her a superficiality of\ncharacter, inherited probably from her mother, hardly congenial to an\nEnglish mind.", "Still she had her merits; and I was disposed to appreciate\nall that was good in her to the utmost.", "I sought in her countenance and\nfeatures a likeness to Mr. Rochester, but found none: no trait, no turn\nof expression announced relationship.", "It was a pity: if she could but\nhave been proved to resemble him, he would have thought more of her.", "It was not till after I had withdrawn to my own chamber for the night,\nthat I steadily reviewed the tale Mr. Rochester had told me.", "As he had\nsaid, there was probably nothing at all extraordinary in the substance of\nthe narrative itself: a wealthy Englishman's passion for a French dancer,\nand her treachery to him, were every-day matters enough, no doubt, in\nsociety; but there was something decidedly strange in the paroxysm of\nemotion which had suddenly seized him when he was in the act of\nexpressing the present contentment of his mood, and his newly revived\npleasure in the old hall and its environs.", "I meditated wonderingly on\nthis incident; but gradually quitting it, as I found it for the present\ninexplicable, I turned to the consideration of my master's manner to\nmyself.", "The confidence he had thought fit to repose in me seemed a\ntribute to my discretion: I regarded and accepted it as such.", "His\ndeportment had now for some weeks been more uniform towards me than at\nthe first.", "I never seemed in his way; he did not take fits of chilling\nhauteur: when he met me unexpectedly, the encounter seemed welcome; he\nhad always a word and sometimes a smile for me: when summoned by formal\ninvitation to his presence, I was honoured by a cordiality of reception\nthat made me feel I really possessed the power to amuse him, and that\nthese evening conferences were sought as much for his pleasure as for my\nbenefit.", "I, indeed, talked comparatively little, but I heard him talk with relish.", "It was his nature to be communicative; he liked to open to a mind\nunacquainted with the world glimpses of its scenes and ways (I do not\nmean its corrupt scenes and wicked ways, but such as derived their\ninterest from the great scale on which they were acted, the strange\nnovelty by which they were characterised); and I had a keen delight in\nreceiving the new ideas he offered, in imagining the new pictures he\nportrayed, and following him in thought through the new regions he\ndisclosed, never startled or troubled by one noxious allusion.", "The ease of his manner freed me from painful restraint: the friendly\nfrankness, as correct as cordial, with which he treated me, drew me to\nhim.", "I felt at times as if he were my relation rather than my master:\nyet he was imperious sometimes still; but I did not mind that; I saw it\nwas his way.", "So happy, so gratified did I become with this new interest\nadded to life, that I ceased to pine after kindred: my thin\ncrescent-destiny seemed to enlarge; the blanks of existence were filled\nup; my bodily health improved; I gathered flesh and strength.", "And was Mr. Rochester now ugly in my eyes?", "No, reader: gratitude, and\nmany associations, all pleasurable and genial, made his face the object I\nbest liked to see; his presence in a room was more cheering than the\nbrightest fire.", "Yet I had not forgotten his faults; indeed, I could not,\nfor he brought them frequently before me.", "He was proud, sardonic, harsh\nto inferiority of every description: in my secret soul I knew that his\ngreat kindness to me was balanced by unjust severity to many others.", "He\nwas moody, too; unaccountably so; I more than once, when sent for to read\nto him, found him sitting in his library alone, with his head bent on his\nfolded arms; and, when he looked up, a morose, almost a malignant, scowl\nblackened his features.", "But I believed that his moodiness, his\nharshness, and his former faults of morality (I say _former_, for now he\nseemed corrected of them) had their source in some cruel cross of fate.", "I\nbelieved he was naturally a man of better tendencies, higher principles,\nand purer tastes than such as circumstances had developed, education\ninstilled, or destiny encouraged.", "I thought there were excellent\nmaterials in him; though for the present they hung together somewhat\nspoiled and tangled.", "I cannot deny that I grieved for his grief,\nwhatever that was, and would have given much to assuage it.", "Though I had now extinguished my candle and was laid down in bed, I could\nnot sleep for thinking of his look when he paused in the avenue, and told\nhow his destiny had risen up before him, and dared him to be happy at\nThornfield.", "\"Why not?\"", "I asked myself.", "\"What alienates him from the house?", "Will he\nleave it again soon?", "Mrs. Fairfax said he seldom stayed here longer than\na fortnight at a time; and he has now been resident eight weeks.", "If he\ndoes go, the change will be doleful.", "Suppose he should be absent spring,\nsummer, and autumn: how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem!\"", "I hardly know whether I had slept or not after this musing; at any rate,\nI started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur, peculiar and lugubrious,\nwhich sounded, I thought, just above me.", "I wished I had kept my candle\nburning: the night was drearily dark; my spirits were depressed.", "I rose\nand sat up in bed, listening.", "The sound was hushed.", "I tried again to sleep; but my heart beat anxiously: my inward\ntranquillity was broken.", "The clock, far down in the hall, struck two.", "Just then it seemed my chamber-door was touched; as if fingers had swept\nthe panels in groping a way along the dark gallery outside.", "I said, \"Who\nis there?\"", "Nothing answered.", "I was chilled with fear.", "All at once I remembered that it might be Pilot, who, when the kitchen-\ndoor chanced to be left open, not unfrequently found his way up to the\nthreshold of Mr. Rochester's chamber: I had seen him lying there myself\nin the mornings.", "The idea calmed me somewhat: I lay down.", "Silence\ncomposes the nerves; and as an unbroken hush now reigned again through\nthe whole house, I began to feel the return of slumber.", "But it was not\nfated that I should sleep that night.", "A dream had scarcely approached my\near, when it fled affrighted, scared by a marrow-freezing incident\nenough.", "This was a demoniac laugh--low, suppressed, and deep--uttered, as it\nseemed, at the very keyhole of my chamber door.", "The head of my bed was\nnear the door, and I thought at first the goblin-laugher stood at my\nbedside--or rather, crouched by my pillow: but I rose, looked round, and\ncould see nothing; while, as I still gazed, the unnatural sound was\nreiterated: and I knew it came from behind the panels.", "My first impulse\nwas to rise and fasten the bolt; my next, again to cry out, \"Who is\nthere?\"", "Something gurgled and moaned.", "Ere long, steps retreated up the gallery\ntowards the third-storey staircase: a door had lately been made to shut\nin that staircase; I heard it open and close, and all was still.", "\"Was that Grace Poole?", "and is she possessed with a devil?\"", "thought I.", "Impossible now to remain longer by myself: I must go to Mrs. Fairfax.", "I\nhurried on my frock and a shawl; I withdrew the bolt and opened the door\nwith a trembling hand.", "There was a candle burning just outside, and on\nthe matting in the gallery.", "I was surprised at this circumstance: but\nstill more was I amazed to perceive the air quite dim, as if filled with\nsmoke; and, while looking to the right hand and left, to find whence\nthese blue wreaths issued, I became further aware of a strong smell of\nburning.", "Something creaked: it was a door ajar; and that door was Mr. Rochester's,\nand the smoke rushed in a cloud from thence.", "I thought no more of Mrs.\nFairfax; I thought no more of Grace Poole, or the laugh: in an instant, I\nwas within the chamber.", "Tongues of flame darted round the bed: the\ncurtains were on fire.", "In the midst of blaze and vapour, Mr. Rochester\nlay stretched motionless, in deep sleep.", "\"Wake!", "wake!\"", "I cried.", "I shook him, but he only murmured and turned: the\nsmoke had stupefied him.", "Not a moment could be lost: the very sheets\nwere kindling, I rushed to his basin and ewer; fortunately, one was wide\nand the other deep, and both were filled with water.", "I heaved them up,\ndeluged the bed and its occupant, flew back to my own room, brought my\nown water-jug, baptized the couch afresh, and, by God's aid, succeeded in\nextinguishing the flames which were devouring it.", "The hiss of the quenched element, the breakage of a pitcher which I flung\nfrom my hand when I had emptied it, and, above all, the splash of the\nshower-bath I had liberally bestowed, roused Mr. Rochester at last.", "Though it was now dark, I knew he was awake; because I heard him\nfulminating strange anathemas at finding himself lying in a pool of\nwater.", "\"Is there a flood?\"", "he cried.", "\"No, sir,\" I answered; \"but there has been a fire: get up, do; you are\nquenched now; I will fetch you a candle.\"", "\"In the name of all the elves in Christendom, is that Jane Eyre?\"", "he\ndemanded.", "\"What have you done with me, witch, sorceress?", "Who is in the\nroom besides you?", "Have you plotted to drown me?\"", "\"I will fetch you a candle, sir; and, in Heaven's name, get up.", "Somebody\nhas plotted something: you cannot too soon find out who and what it is.\"", "\"There!", "I am up now; but at your peril you fetch a candle yet: wait two\nminutes till I get into some dry garments, if any dry there be--yes, here\nis my dressing-gown.", "Now run!\"", "I did run; I brought the candle which still remained in the gallery.", "He\ntook it from my hand, held it up, and surveyed the bed, all blackened and\nscorched, the sheets drenched, the carpet round swimming in water.", "\"What is it?", "and who did it?\"", "he asked.", "I briefly related to him what\nhad transpired: the strange laugh I had heard in the gallery: the step\nascending to the third storey; the smoke,--the smell of fire which had\nconducted me to his room; in what state I had found matters there, and\nhow I had deluged him with all the water I could lay hands on.", "{\"What is it and who did it?\"", "he asked: p140.jpg}\n\nHe listened very gravely; his face, as I went on, expressed more concern\nthan astonishment; he did not immediately speak when I had concluded.", "\"Shall I call Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "I asked.", "\"Mrs. Fairfax?", "No; what the deuce would you call her for?", "What can she\ndo?", "Let her sleep unmolested.\"", "\"Then I will fetch Leah, and wake John and his wife.\"", "\"Not at all: just be still.", "You have a shawl on.", "If you are not warm\nenough, you may take my cloak yonder; wrap it about you, and sit down in\nthe arm-chair: there,--I will put it on.", "Now place your feet on the\nstool, to keep them out of the wet.", "I am going to leave you a few\nminutes.", "I shall take the candle.", "Remain where you are till I return;\nbe as still as a mouse.", "I must pay a visit to the second storey.", "Don't\nmove, remember, or call any one.\"", "He went: I watched the light withdraw.", "He passed up the gallery very\nsoftly, unclosed the staircase door with as little noise as possible,\nshut it after him, and the last ray vanished.", "I was left in total\ndarkness.", "I listened for some noise, but heard nothing.", "A very long\ntime elapsed.", "I grew weary: it was cold, in spite of the cloak; and then\nI did not see the use of staying, as I was not to rouse the house.", "I was\non the point of risking Mr. Rochester's displeasure by disobeying his\norders, when the light once more gleamed dimly on the gallery wall, and I\nheard his unshod feet tread the matting.", "\"I hope it is he,\" thought I,\n\"and not something worse.\"", "He re-entered, pale and very gloomy.", "\"I have found it all out,\" said he,\nsetting his candle down on the washstand; \"it is as I thought.\"", "\"How, sir?\"", "He made no reply, but stood with his arms folded, looking on the ground.", "At the end of a few minutes he inquired in rather a peculiar tone--\n\n\"I forget whether you said you saw anything when you opened your chamber\ndoor.\"", "\"No, sir, only the candlestick on the ground.\"", "\"But you heard an odd laugh?", "You have heard that laugh before, I should\nthink, or something like it?\"", "\"Yes, sir: there is a woman who sews here, called Grace Poole,--she\nlaughs in that way.", "She is a singular person.\"", "\"Just so.", "Grace Poole--you have guessed it.", "She is, as you say,\nsingular--very.", "Well, I shall reflect on the subject.", "Meantime, I am\nglad that you are the only person, besides myself, acquainted with the\nprecise details of to-night's incident.", "You are no talking fool: say\nnothing about it.", "I will account for this state of affairs\" (pointing to\nthe bed): \"and now return to your own room.", "I shall do very well on the\nsofa in the library for the rest of the night.", "It is near four:--in two\nhours the servants will be up.\"", "\"Good-night, then, sir,\" said I, departing.", "He seemed surprised--very inconsistently so, as he had just told me to\ngo.", "\"What!\"", "he exclaimed, \"are you quitting me already, and in that way?\"", "\"You said I might go, sir.\"", "\"But not without taking leave; not without a word or two of\nacknowledgment and good-will: not, in short, in that brief, dry fashion.", "Why, you have saved my life!--snatched me from a horrible and\nexcruciating death!", "and you walk past me as if we were mutual strangers!", "At least shake hands.\"", "He held out his hand; I gave him mine: he took it first in one, them in\nboth his own.", "\"You have saved my life: I have a pleasure in owing you so immense a\ndebt.", "I cannot say more.", "Nothing else that has being would have been\ntolerable to me in the character of creditor for such an obligation: but\nyou: it is different;--I feel your benefits no burden, Jane.\"", "He paused; gazed at me: words almost visible trembled on his lips,--but\nhis voice was checked.", "\"Good-night again, sir.", "There is no debt, benefit, burden, obligation,\nin the case.\"", "\"I knew,\" he continued, \"you would do me good in some way, at some\ntime;--I saw it in your eyes when I first beheld you: their expression\nand smile did not\"--(again he stopped)--\"did not\" (he proceeded hastily)\n\"strike delight to my very inmost heart so for nothing.", "People talk of\nnatural sympathies; I have heard of good genii: there are grains of truth\nin the wildest fable.", "My cherished preserver, goodnight!\"", "Strange energy was in his voice, strange fire in his look.", "\"I am glad I happened to be awake,\" I said: and then I was going.", "\"What!", "you _will_ go?\"", "\"I am cold, sir.\"", "\"Cold?", "Yes,--and standing in a pool!", "Go, then, Jane; go!\"", "But he still\nretained my hand, and I could not free it.", "I bethought myself of an\nexpedient.", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I.", "\"Well, leave me:\" he relaxed his fingers, and I was gone.", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.", "Till morning dawned I\nwas tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled\nunder surges of joy.", "I thought sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a\nshore, sweet as the hills of Beulah; and now and then a freshening gale,\nwakened by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne: but I\ncould not reach it, even in fancy--a counteracting breeze blew off land,\nand continually drove me back.", "Sense would resist delirium: judgment\nwould warn passion.", "Too feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned." ]

[ "I should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this question by\nsomething conventionally vague and polite; but the answer somehow slipped\nfrom my tongue before I was aware--\"No, sir.\"", "What do you mean by it?\"", "\"You looked very much puzzled, Miss Eyre; and though you are not pretty\nany more than I am handsome, yet a puzzled air becomes you; besides, it\nis convenient, for it keeps those searching eyes of yours away from my\nphysiognomy, and busies them with the worsted flowers of the rug; so\npuzzle on.", "The fact is, once for all, I don't wish to treat you like an\ninferior: that is\" (correcting himself), \"I claim only such superiority\nas must result from twenty years' difference in age and a century's\nadvance in experience.", "By what instinct do you pretend to\ndistinguish between a fallen seraph of the abyss and a messenger from the\neternal throne--between a guide and a seducer?\"", "Don't trouble yourself to\nanswer--I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe\nme, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious.", "However, my tenderest feelings are about\nto receive a shock: such is my presentiment; stay now, to see whether it\nwill be realised.\"", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "Lifting his eye to its battlements, he cast over them a glare such as I\nnever saw before or since.", "\"What alienates him from the house?" ]

[ "Here, come in, bonny wanderer!\"", "\"And better--so much better as pure ore is than foul dross.", "Reformation may be its cure; and I could reform--I\nhave strength yet for that--if--but where is the use of thinking of it,\nhampered, burdened, cursed as I am?", "The contrast struck me at the time and--\"\n\nAdele here came running up again.", "Certainly, my associates and pursuits shall be other than they have\nbeen.\"", "Celine's chamber-maid entered, lit a\nlamp, left it on the table, and withdrew.", "so it is: but I swear by my household gods not to\nabuse it.\"", "Grace Poole--you have guessed it.", "Ah!", "The more you and I\nconverse, the better; for while I cannot blight you, you may refresh me.\"" ]

[ "This passion Celine had professed to return with even\nsuperior ardour.", "He thought himself her idol, ugly as he was: he\nbelieved, as he said, that she preferred his \"_taille d'athlete_\" to the\nelegance of the Apollo Belvidere.", "\"And, Miss Eyre, so much was I flattered by this preference of the Gallic\nsylph for her British gnome, that I installed her in an hotel; gave her a\ncomplete establishment of servants, a carriage, cashmeres, diamonds,\ndentelles, &c. In short, I began the process of ruining myself in the\nreceived style, like any other spoony.", "I had not, it seems, the\noriginality to chalk out a new road to shame and destruction, but trode\nthe old track with stupid exactness not to deviate an inch from the\nbeaten centre.", "I had--as I deserved to have--the fate of all other\nspoonies.", "Happening to call one evening when Celine did not expect me, I\nfound her out; but it was a warm night, and I was tired with strolling\nthrough Paris, so I sat down in her boudoir; happy to breathe the air\nconsecrated so lately by her presence.", "No,--I exaggerate; I never\nthought there was any consecrating virtue about her: it was rather a sort\nof pastille perfume she had left; a scent of musk and amber, than an\nodour of sanctity.", "I was just beginning to stifle with the fumes of\nconservatory flowers and sprinkled essences, when I bethought myself to\nopen the window and step out on to the balcony.", "It was moonlight and\ngaslight besides, and very still and serene.", "The balcony was furnished\nwith a chair or two; I sat down, and took out a cigar,--I will take one\nnow, if you will excuse me.\"", "Here ensued a pause, filled up by the producing and lighting of a cigar;\nhaving placed it to his lips and breathed a trail of Havannah incense on\nthe freezing and sunless air, he went on--\n\n\"I liked bonbons too in those days, Miss Eyre, and I was\n_croquant_--(overlook the barbarism)--_croquant_ chocolate comfits, and\nsmoking alternately, watching meantime the equipages that rolled along\nthe fashionable streets towards the neighbouring opera-house, when in an\nelegant close carriage drawn by a beautiful pair of English horses, and\ndistinctly seen in the brilliant city-night, I recognised the 'voiture' I\nhad given Celine." ]

[ "\n\nFor several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester.", "In the\nmornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,\ngentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimes stayed\nto dine with him.", "When his sprain was well enough to admit of horse\nexercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to return these visits, as he\ngenerally did not come back till late at night.", "During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence, and\nall my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasional rencontre in\nthe hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when he would sometimes pass\nme haughtily and coldly, just acknowledging my presence by a distant nod\nor a cool glance, and sometimes bow and smile with gentlemanlike\naffability.", "His changes of mood did not offend me, because I saw that I\nhad nothing to do with their alternation; the ebb and flow depended on\ncauses quite disconnected with me.", "One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio; in\norder, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen went away early,\nto attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfax informed me; but\nthe night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochester did not accompany them.", "Soon after they were gone he rang the bell: a message came that I and\nAdele were to go downstairs.", "I brushed Adele's hair and made her neat,\nand having ascertained that I was myself in my usual Quaker trim, where\nthere was nothing to retouch--all being too close and plain, braided\nlocks included, to admit of disarrangement--we descended, Adele wondering\nwhether the _petit coffre_ was at length come; for, owing to some\nmistake, its arrival had hitherto been delayed.", "She was gratified: there\nit stood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.", "She appeared to know it by instinct.", "Go, then, Jane; go!\"", "But he still\nretained my hand, and I could not free it.", "I bethought myself of an\nexpedient.", "\"I think I hear Mrs. Fairfax move, sir,\" said I.", "\"Well, leave me:\" he relaxed his fingers, and I was gone.", "I regained my couch, but never thought of sleep.", "Till morning dawned I\nwas tossed on a buoyant but unquiet sea, where billows of trouble rolled\nunder surges of joy.", "I thought sometimes I saw beyond its wild waters a\nshore, sweet as the hills of Beulah; and now and then a freshening gale,\nwakened by hope, bore my spirit triumphantly towards the bourne: but I\ncould not reach it, even in fancy--a counteracting breeze blew off land,\nand continually drove me back.", "Sense would resist delirium: judgment\nwould warn passion.", "Too feverish to rest, I rose as soon as day dawned." ]

[ "\n\nI both wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on the day which followed\nthis sleepless night: I wanted to hear his voice again, yet feared to\nmeet his eye.", "During the early part of the morning, I momentarily\nexpected his coming; he was not in the frequent habit of entering the\nschoolroom, but he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and I had the\nimpression that he was sure to visit it that day.", "But the morning passed just as usual: nothing happened to interrupt the\nquiet course of Adele's studies; only soon after breakfast, I heard some\nbustle in the neighbourhood of Mr. Rochester's chamber, Mrs. Fairfax's\nvoice, and Leah's, and the cook's--that is, John's wife--and even John's\nown gruff tones.", "There were exclamations of \"What a mercy master was not\nburnt in his bed!\"", "\"It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at\nnight.\"", "\"How providential that he had presence of mind to think of the\nwater-jug!\"", "\"I wonder he waked nobody!\"", "\"It is to be hoped he will not\ntake cold with sleeping on the library sofa,\" &c.\n\nTo much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to\nrights; and when I passed the room, in going downstairs to dinner, I saw\nthrough the open door that all was again restored to complete order; only\nthe bed was stripped of its hangings.", "Leah stood up in the window-seat,\nrubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke.", "I was about to address\nher, for I wished to know what account had been given of the affair: but,\non advancing, I saw a second person in the chamber--a woman sitting on a\nchair by the bedside, and sewing rings to new curtains.", "That woman was\nno other than Grace Poole.", "There she sat, staid and taciturn-looking, as usual, in her brown stuff\ngown, her check apron, white handkerchief, and cap.", "She was intent on\nher work, in which her whole thoughts seemed absorbed: on her hard\nforehead, and in her commonplace features, was nothing either of the\npaleness or desperation one would have expected to see marking the\ncountenance of a woman who had attempted murder, and whose intended\nvictim had followed her last night to her lair, and (as I believed),\ncharged her with the crime she wished to perpetrate.", "I was\namazed--confounded.", "She looked up, while I still gazed at her: no start,\nno increase or failure of colour betrayed emotion, consciousness of\nguilt, or fear of detection.", "She said \"Good morning, Miss,\" in her usual\nphlegmatic and brief manner; and taking up another ring and more tape,\nwent on with her sewing.", "\"I will put her to some test,\" thought I: \"such absolute impenetrability\nis past comprehension.\"", "\"Good morning, Grace,\" I said.", "\"Has anything happened here?", "I thought I\nheard the servants all talking together a while ago.\"", "\"Only master had been reading in his bed last night; he fell asleep with\nhis candle lit, and the curtains got on fire; but, fortunately, he awoke\nbefore the bed-clothes or the wood-work caught, and contrived to quench\nthe flames with the water in the ewer.\"", "\"A strange affair!\"", "I said, in a low voice: then, looking at her\nfixedly--\"Did Mr. Rochester wake nobody?", "Did no one hear him move?\"", "She again raised her eyes to me, and this time there was something of\nconsciousness in their expression.", "She seemed to examine me warily; then\nshe answered--\n\n\"The servants sleep so far off, you know, Miss, they would not be likely\nto hear.", "Mrs. Fairfax's room and yours are the nearest to master's; but\nMrs. Fairfax said she heard nothing: when people get elderly, they often\nsleep heavy.\"", "She paused, and then added, with a sort of assumed\nindifference, but still in a marked and significant tone--\"But you are\nyoung, Miss; and I should say a light sleeper: perhaps you may have heard\na noise?\"", "\"I did,\" said I, dropping my voice, so that Leah, who was still polishing\nthe panes, could not hear me, \"and at first I thought it was Pilot: but\nPilot cannot laugh; and I am certain I heard a laugh, and a strange one.\"", "She took a new needleful of thread, waxed it carefully, threaded her\nneedle with a steady hand, and then observed, with perfect composure--\n\n\"It is hardly likely master would laugh, I should think, Miss, when he\nwas in such danger: You must have been dreaming.\"", "\"I was not dreaming,\" I said, with some warmth, for her brazen coolness\nprovoked me.", "Again she looked at me; and with the same scrutinising and\nconscious eye.", "\"Have you told master that you heard a laugh?\"", "she inquired.", "\"I have not had the opportunity of speaking to him this morning.\"", "\"You did not think of opening your door and looking out into the\ngallery?\"", "she further asked.", "She appeared to be cross-questioning me, attempting to draw from me\ninformation unawares.", "The idea struck me that if she discovered I knew\nor suspected her guilt, she would be playing of some of her malignant\npranks on me; I thought it advisable to be on my guard.", "\"On the contrary,\" said I, \"I bolted my door.\"", "\"Then you are not in the habit of bolting your door every night before\nyou get into bed?\"", "\"Fiend!", "she wants to know my habits, that she may lay her plans\naccordingly!\"", "Indignation again prevailed over prudence: I replied\nsharply, \"Hitherto I have often omitted to fasten the bolt: I did not\nthink it necessary.", "I was not aware any danger or annoyance was to be\ndreaded at Thornfield Hall: but in future\" (and I laid marked stress on\nthe words) \"I shall take good care to make all secure before I venture to\nlie down.\"", "\"It will be wise so to do,\" was her answer: \"this neighbourhood is as\nquiet as any I know, and I never heard of the hall being attempted by\nrobbers since it was a house; though there are hundreds of pounds' worth\nof plate in the plate-closet, as is well known.", "And you see, for such a\nlarge house, there are very few servants, because master has never lived\nhere much; and when he does come, being a bachelor, he needs little\nwaiting on: but I always think it best to err on the safe side; a door is\nsoon fastened, and it is as well to have a drawn bolt between one and any\nmischief that may be about.", "A deal of people, Miss, are for trusting all\nto Providence; but I say Providence will not dispense with the means,\nthough He often blesses them when they are used discreetly.\"", "And here\nshe closed her harangue: a long one for her, and uttered with the\ndemureness of a Quakeress.", "I still stood absolutely dumfoundered at what appeared to me her\nmiraculous self-possession and most inscrutable hypocrisy, when the cook\nentered.", "\"Mrs. Poole,\" said she, addressing Grace, \"the servants' dinner will soon\nbe ready: will you come down?\"", "\"No; just put my pint of porter and bit of pudding on a tray, and I'll\ncarry it upstairs.\"", "\"You'll have some meat?\"", "\"Just a morsel, and a taste of cheese, that's all.\"", "\"And the sago?\"", "\"Never mind it at present: I shall be coming down before teatime: I'll\nmake it myself.\"", "The cook here turned to me, saying that Mrs. Fairfax was waiting for me:\nso I departed.", "I hardly heard Mrs. Fairfax's account of the curtain conflagration during\ndinner, so much was I occupied in puzzling my brains over the enigmatical\ncharacter of Grace Poole, and still more in pondering the problem of her\nposition at Thornfield and questioning why she had not been given into\ncustody that morning, or, at the very least, dismissed from her master's\nservice.", "He had almost as much as declared his conviction of her\ncriminality last night: what mysterious cause withheld him from accusing\nher?", "Why had he enjoined me, too, to secrecy?", "It was strange: a bold,\nvindictive, and haughty gentleman seemed somehow in the power of one of\nthe meanest of his dependants; so much in her power, that even when she\nlifted her hand against his life, he dared not openly charge her with the\nattempt, much less punish her for it.", "Had Grace been young and handsome, I should have been tempted to think\nthat tenderer feelings than prudence or fear influenced Mr. Rochester in\nher behalf; but, hard-favoured and matronly as she was, the idea could\nnot be admitted.", "\"Yet,\" I reflected, \"she has been young once; her youth\nwould be contemporary with her master's: Mrs. Fairfax told me once, she\nhad lived here many years.", "I don't think she can ever have been pretty;\nbut, for aught I know, she may possess originality and strength of\ncharacter to compensate for the want of personal advantages.", "Mr.\nRochester is an amateur of the decided and eccentric: Grace is eccentric\nat least.", "What if a former caprice (a freak very possible to a nature so\nsudden and headstrong as his) has delivered him into her power, and she\nnow exercises over his actions a secret influence, the result of his own\nindiscretion, which he cannot shake off, and dare not disregard?\"", "But,\nhaving reached this point of conjecture, Mrs. Poole's square, flat\nfigure, and uncomely, dry, even coarse face, recurred so distinctly to my\nmind's eye, that I thought, \"No; impossible!", "my supposition cannot be\ncorrect.", "Yet,\" suggested the secret voice which talks to us in our own\nhearts, \"you are not beautiful either, and perhaps Mr. Rochester approves\nyou: at any rate, you have often felt as if he did; and last\nnight--remember his words; remember his look; remember his voice!\"", "I well remembered all; language, glance, and tone seemed at the moment\nvividly renewed.", "I was now in the schoolroom; Adele was drawing; I bent\nover her and directed her pencil.", "She looked up with a sort of start.", "\"Qu' avez-vous, mademoiselle?\"", "said she.", "\"Vos doigts tremblent comme la\nfeuille, et vos joues sont rouges: mais, rouges comme des cerises!\"", "\"I am hot, Adele, with stooping!\"", "She went on sketching; I went on\nthinking.", "I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful notion I had been conceiving\nrespecting Grace Poole; it disgusted me.", "I compared myself with her, and\nfound we were different.", "Bessie Leaven had said I was quite a lady; and\nshe spoke truth--I was a lady.", "And now I looked much better than I did\nwhen Bessie saw me; I had more colour and more flesh, more life, more\nvivacity, because I had brighter hopes and keener enjoyments.", "\"Evening approaches,\" said I, as I looked towards the window.", "\"I have\nnever heard Mr. Rochester's voice or step in the house to-day; but surely\nI shall see him before night: I feared the meeting in the morning; now I\ndesire it, because expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown\nimpatient.\"", "When dusk actually closed, and when Adele left me to go and play in the\nnursery with Sophie, I did most keenly desire it.", "I listened for the\nbell to ring below; I listened for Leah coming up with a message; I\nfancied sometimes I heard Mr. Rochester's own tread, and I turned to the\ndoor, expecting it to open and admit him.", "The door remained shut;\ndarkness only came in through the window.", "Still it was not late; he\noften sent for me at seven and eight o'clock, and it was yet but six.", "Surely I should not be wholly disappointed to-night, when I had so many\nthings to say to him!", "I wanted again to introduce the subject of Grace\nPoole, and to hear what he would answer; I wanted to ask him plainly if\nhe really believed it was she who had made last night's hideous attempt;\nand if so, why he kept her wickedness a secret.", "It little mattered\nwhether my curiosity irritated him; I knew the pleasure of vexing and\nsoothing him by turns; it was one I chiefly delighted in, and a sure\ninstinct always prevented me from going too far; beyond the verge of\nprovocation I never ventured; on the extreme brink I liked well to try my\nskill.", "Retaining every minute form of respect, every propriety of my\nstation, I could still meet him in argument without fear or uneasy\nrestraint; this suited both him and me.", "A tread creaked on the stairs at last.", "Leah made her appearance; but it\nwas only to intimate that tea was ready in Mrs. Fairfax's room.", "Thither\nI repaired, glad at least to go downstairs; for that brought me, I\nimagined, nearer to Mr. Rochester's presence.", "\"You must want your tea,\" said the good lady, as I joined her; \"you ate\nso little at dinner.", "I am afraid,\" she continued, \"you are not well to-\nday: you look flushed and feverish.\"", "\"Oh, quite well!", "I never felt better.\"", "\"Then you must prove it by evincing a good appetite; will you fill the\nteapot while I knit off this needle?\"", "Having completed her task, she\nrose to draw down the blind, which she had hitherto kept up, by way, I\nsuppose, of making the most of daylight, though dusk was now fast\ndeepening into total obscurity.", "\"It is fair to-night,\" said she, as she looked through the panes, \"though\nnot starlight; Mr. Rochester has, on the whole, had a favourable day for\nhis journey.\"", "\"Journey!--Is Mr. Rochester gone anywhere?", "I did not know he was out.\"", "\"Oh, he set off the moment he had breakfasted!", "He is gone to the Leas,\nMr. Eshton's place, ten miles on the other side Millcote.", "I believe\nthere is quite a party assembled there; Lord Ingram, Sir George Lynn,\nColonel Dent, and others.\"", "\"Do you expect him back to-night?\"", "\"No--nor to-morrow either; I should think he is very likely to stay a\nweek or more: when these fine, fashionable people get together, they are\nso surrounded by elegance and gaiety, so well provided with all that can\nplease and entertain, they are in no hurry to separate.", "Gentlemen\nespecially are often in request on such occasions; and Mr. Rochester is\nso talented and so lively in society, that I believe he is a general\nfavourite: the ladies are very fond of him; though you would not think\nhis appearance calculated to recommend him particularly in their eyes:\nbut I suppose his acquirements and abilities, perhaps his wealth and good\nblood, make amends for any little fault of look.\"", "\"Are there ladies at the Leas?\"", "\"There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters--very elegant young ladies\nindeed; and there are the Honourable Blanche and Mary Ingram, most\nbeautiful women, I suppose: indeed I have seen Blanche, six or seven\nyears since, when she was a girl of eighteen.", "She came here to a\nChristmas ball and party Mr. Rochester gave.", "You should have seen the\ndining-room that day--how richly it was decorated, how brilliantly lit\nup!", "I should think there were fifty ladies and gentlemen present--all of\nthe first county families; and Miss Ingram was considered the belle of\nthe evening.\"", "\"You saw her, you say, Mrs. Fairfax: what was she like?\"", "\"Yes, I saw her.", "The dining-room doors were thrown open; and, as it was\nChristmas-time, the servants were allowed to assemble in the hall, to\nhear some of the ladies sing and play.", "Mr. Rochester would have me to\ncome in, and I sat down in a quiet corner and watched them.", "I never saw\na more splendid scene: the ladies were magnificently dressed; most of\nthem--at least most of the younger ones--looked handsome; but Miss Ingram\nwas certainly the queen.\"", "\"And what was she like?\"", "\"Tall, fine bust, sloping shoulders; long, graceful neck: olive\ncomplexion, dark and clear; noble features; eyes rather like Mr.\nRochester's: large and black, and as brilliant as her jewels.", "And then\nshe had such a fine head of hair; raven-black and so becomingly arranged:\na crown of thick plaits behind, and in front the longest, the glossiest\ncurls I ever saw.", "She was dressed in pure white; an amber-coloured scarf\nwas passed over her shoulder and across her breast, tied at the side, and\ndescending in long, fringed ends below her knee.", "She wore an\namber-coloured flower, too, in her hair: it contrasted well with the\njetty mass of her curls.\"", "\"She was greatly admired, of course?\"", "\"Yes, indeed: and not only for her beauty, but for her accomplishments.", "She was one of the ladies who sang: a gentleman accompanied her on the\npiano.", "She and Mr. Rochester sang a duet.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester?", "I was not aware he could sing.\"", "\"Oh!", "he has a fine bass voice, and an excellent taste for music.\"", "\"And Miss Ingram: what sort of a voice had she?\"", "\"A very rich and powerful one: she sang delightfully; it was a treat to\nlisten to her;--and she played afterwards.", "I am no judge of music, but\nMr. Rochester is; and I heard him say her execution was remarkably good.\"", "\"And this beautiful and accomplished lady, she is not yet married?\"", "\"It appears not: I fancy neither she nor her sister have very large\nfortunes.", "Old Lord Ingram's estates were chiefly entailed, and the\neldest son came in for everything almost.\"", "\"But I wonder no wealthy nobleman or gentleman has taken a fancy to her:\nMr. Rochester, for instance.", "He is rich, is he not?\"", "\"Oh!", "yes.", "But you see there is a considerable difference in age: Mr.\nRochester is nearly forty; she is but twenty-five.\"", "\"What of that?", "More unequal matches are made every day.\"", "\"True: yet I should scarcely fancy Mr. Rochester would entertain an idea\nof the sort.", "But you eat nothing: you have scarcely tasted since you\nbegan tea.\"", "\"No: I am too thirsty to eat.", "Will you let me have another cup?\"", "I was about again to revert to the probability of a union between Mr.\nRochester and the beautiful Blanche; but Adele came in, and the\nconversation was turned into another channel.", "When once more alone, I reviewed the information I had got; looked into\nmy heart, examined its thoughts and feelings, and endeavoured to bring\nback with a strict hand such as had been straying through imagination's\nboundless and trackless waste, into the safe fold of common sense.", "Arraigned at my own bar, Memory having given her evidence of the hopes,\nwishes, sentiments I had been cherishing since last night--of the general\nstate of mind in which I had indulged for nearly a fortnight past; Reason\nhaving come forward and told, in her own quiet way a plain, unvarnished\ntale, showing how I had rejected the real, and rabidly devoured the\nideal;--I pronounced judgment to this effect:--\n\nThat a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never breathed the breath of life;\nthat a more fantastic idiot had never surfeited herself on sweet lies,\nand swallowed poison as if it were nectar.", "\"_You_,\" I said, \"a favourite with Mr. Rochester?", "_You_ gifted with the\npower of pleasing him?", "_You_ of importance to him in any way?", "Go!", "your\nfolly sickens me.", "And you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens\nof preference--equivocal tokens shown by a gentleman of family and a man\nof the world to a dependent and a novice.", "How dared you?", "Poor stupid\ndupe!--Could not even self-interest make you wiser?", "You repeated to\nyourself this morning the brief scene of last night?--Cover your face and\nbe ashamed!", "He said something in praise of your eyes, did he?", "Blind\npuppy!", "Open their bleared lids and look on your own accursed\nsenselessness!", "It does good to no woman to be flattered by her superior,\nwho cannot possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women\nto let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and\nunknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and\nresponded to, must lead, _ignis-fatuus_-like, into miry wilds whence there\nis no extrication.", "\"Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: to-morrow, place the glass\nbefore you, and draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully, without\nsoftening one defect; omit no harsh line, smooth away no displeasing\nirregularity; write under it, 'Portrait of a Governess, disconnected,\npoor, and plain.'", "\"Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory--you have one prepared in your\ndrawing-box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest, clearest\ntints; choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils; delineate carefully\nthe loveliest face you can imagine; paint it in your softest shades and\nsweetest lines, according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of\nBlanche Ingram; remember the raven ringlets, the oriental eye;--What!", "you\nrevert to Mr. Rochester as a model!", "Order!", "No snivel!--no sentiment!--no\nregret!", "I will endure only sense and resolution.", "Recall the august yet\nharmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and\ndazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring\nnor gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aerial lace and\nglistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche, an\naccomplished lady of rank.'", "\"Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks\nwell of you, take out these two pictures and compare them: say, 'Mr.", "Rochester might probably win that noble lady's love, if he chose to\nstrive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this\nindigent and insignificant plebeian?'\"", "\"I'll do it,\" I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew\ncalm, and fell asleep.", "I kept my word.", "An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in\ncrayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature\nof an imaginary Blanche Ingram.", "It looked a lovely face enough, and when\ncompared with the real head in chalk, the contrast was as great as self-\ncontrol could desire.", "I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my\nhead and hands employed, and had given force and fixedness to the new\nimpressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart.", "Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome\ndiscipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit.", "Thanks to\nit, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which,\nhad they found me unprepared, I should probably have been unequal to\nmaintain, even externally." ]

[ "During the early part of the morning, I momentarily\nexpected his coming; he was not in the frequent habit of entering the\nschoolroom, but he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and I had the\nimpression that he was sure to visit it that day.", "It was strange: a bold,\nvindictive, and haughty gentleman seemed somehow in the power of one of\nthe meanest of his dependants; so much in her power, that even when she\nlifted her hand against his life, he dared not openly charge her with the\nattempt, much less punish her for it.", "I don't think she can ever have been pretty;\nbut, for aught I know, she may possess originality and strength of\ncharacter to compensate for the want of personal advantages.", "But,\nhaving reached this point of conjecture, Mrs. Poole's square, flat\nfigure, and uncomely, dry, even coarse face, recurred so distinctly to my\nmind's eye, that I thought, \"No; impossible!", "Yet,\" suggested the secret voice which talks to us in our own\nhearts, \"you are not beautiful either, and perhaps Mr. Rochester approves\nyou: at any rate, you have often felt as if he did; and last\nnight--remember his words; remember his look; remember his voice!\"", "I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful notion I had been conceiving\nrespecting Grace Poole; it disgusted me.", "\"I have\nnever heard Mr. Rochester's voice or step in the house to-day; but surely\nI shall see him before night: I feared the meeting in the morning; now I\ndesire it, because expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown\nimpatient.\"", "I listened for the\nbell to ring below; I listened for Leah coming up with a message; I\nfancied sometimes I heard Mr. Rochester's own tread, and I turned to the\ndoor, expecting it to open and admit him.", "\"Then you must prove it by evincing a good appetite; will you fill the\nteapot while I knit off this needle?\"", "\"You saw her, you say, Mrs. Fairfax: what was she like?\"" ]

[ "And you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens\nof preference--equivocal tokens shown by a gentleman of family and a man\nof the world to a dependent and a novice.", "\"On the contrary,\" said I, \"I bolted my door.\"", "Did no one hear him move?\"", "\"There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters--very elegant young ladies\nindeed; and there are the Honourable Blanche and Mary Ingram, most\nbeautiful women, I suppose: indeed I have seen Blanche, six or seven\nyears since, when she was a girl of eighteen.", "\"Yes, indeed: and not only for her beauty, but for her accomplishments.", "\"I have not had the opportunity of speaking to him this morning.\"", "she inquired.", "Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome\ndiscipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit.", "\"Yet,\" I reflected, \"she has been young once; her youth\nwould be contemporary with her master's: Mrs. Fairfax told me once, she\nhad lived here many years.", "I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful notion I had been conceiving\nrespecting Grace Poole; it disgusted me." ]

[ "The door remained shut;\ndarkness only came in through the window.", "Still it was not late; he\noften sent for me at seven and eight o'clock, and it was yet but six.", "Surely I should not be wholly disappointed to-night, when I had so many\nthings to say to him!", "I wanted again to introduce the subject of Grace\nPoole, and to hear what he would answer; I wanted to ask him plainly if\nhe really believed it was she who had made last night's hideous attempt;\nand if so, why he kept her wickedness a secret.", "It little mattered\nwhether my curiosity irritated him; I knew the pleasure of vexing and\nsoothing him by turns; it was one I chiefly delighted in, and a sure\ninstinct always prevented me from going too far; beyond the verge of\nprovocation I never ventured; on the extreme brink I liked well to try my\nskill.", "Retaining every minute form of respect, every propriety of my\nstation, I could still meet him in argument without fear or uneasy\nrestraint; this suited both him and me.", "A tread creaked on the stairs at last.", "Leah made her appearance; but it\nwas only to intimate that tea was ready in Mrs. Fairfax's room.", "Thither\nI repaired, glad at least to go downstairs; for that brought me, I\nimagined, nearer to Mr. Rochester's presence.", "\"You must want your tea,\" said the good lady, as I joined her; \"you ate\nso little at dinner.", "I am afraid,\" she continued, \"you are not well to-\nday: you look flushed and feverish.\"" ]

[ "\n\nI both wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on the day which followed\nthis sleepless night: I wanted to hear his voice again, yet feared to\nmeet his eye.", "During the early part of the morning, I momentarily\nexpected his coming; he was not in the frequent habit of entering the\nschoolroom, but he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and I had the\nimpression that he was sure to visit it that day.", "But the morning passed just as usual: nothing happened to interrupt the\nquiet course of Adele's studies; only soon after breakfast, I heard some\nbustle in the neighbourhood of Mr. Rochester's chamber, Mrs. Fairfax's\nvoice, and Leah's, and the cook's--that is, John's wife--and even John's\nown gruff tones.", "There were exclamations of \"What a mercy master was not\nburnt in his bed!\"", "\"It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at\nnight.\"", "\"How providential that he had presence of mind to think of the\nwater-jug!\"", "\"I wonder he waked nobody!\"", "\"It is to be hoped he will not\ntake cold with sleeping on the library sofa,\" &c.\n\nTo much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to\nrights; and when I passed the room, in going downstairs to dinner, I saw\nthrough the open door that all was again restored to complete order; only\nthe bed was stripped of its hangings.", "Leah stood up in the window-seat,\nrubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke.", "I was about to address\nher, for I wished to know what account had been given of the affair: but,\non advancing, I saw a second person in the chamber--a woman sitting on a\nchair by the bedside, and sewing rings to new curtains.", "Recall the august yet\nharmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and\ndazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring\nnor gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aerial lace and\nglistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche, an\naccomplished lady of rank.'", "\"Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks\nwell of you, take out these two pictures and compare them: say, 'Mr.", "Rochester might probably win that noble lady's love, if he chose to\nstrive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this\nindigent and insignificant plebeian?'\"", "\"I'll do it,\" I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew\ncalm, and fell asleep.", "I kept my word.", "An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in\ncrayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature\nof an imaginary Blanche Ingram.", "It looked a lovely face enough, and when\ncompared with the real head in chalk, the contrast was as great as self-\ncontrol could desire.", "I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my\nhead and hands employed, and had given force and fixedness to the new\nimpressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart.", "Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome\ndiscipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit.", "Thanks to\nit, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which,\nhad they found me unprepared, I should probably have been unequal to\nmaintain, even externally." ]

[ "\n\nA week passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Rochester: ten days, and still\nhe did not come.", "Mrs. Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he\nwere to go straight from the Leas to London, and thence to the Continent,\nand not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to come; he had not\nunfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected.", "When\nI heard this, I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the\nheart.", "I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense\nof disappointment; but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles,\nI at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got\nover the temporary blunder--how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr.\nRochester's movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital\ninterest.", "Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority:\non the contrary, I just said--\n\n\"You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further than to\nreceive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee, and to be\ngrateful for such respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your duty,\nyou have a right to expect at his hands.", "Be sure that is the only tie he\nseriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object\nof your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so forth.", "He is not\nof your order: keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish\nthe love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not\nwanted and would be despised.\"", "I went on with my day's business tranquilly; but ever and anon vague\nsuggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why I should quit\nThornfield; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering\nconjectures about new situations: these thoughts I did not think to\ncheck; they might germinate and bear fruit if they could.", "Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight, when the post\nbrought Mrs. Fairfax a letter.", "\"It is from the master,\" said she, as she looked at the direction.", "\"Now\nI suppose we shall know whether we are to expect his return or not.\"", "And while she broke the seal and perused the document, I went on taking\nmy coffee (we were at breakfast): it was hot, and I attributed to that\ncircumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose to my face.", "Why my hand\nshook, and why I involuntarily spilt half the contents of my cup into my\nsaucer, I did not choose to consider.", "\"Well, I sometimes think we are too quiet; but we run a chance of being\nbusy enough now: for a little while at least,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, still\nholding the note before her spectacles.", "Ere I permitted myself to request an explanation, I tied the string of\nAdele's pinafore, which happened to be loose: having helped her also to\nanother bun and refilled her mug with milk, I said, nonchalantly--\n\n\"Mr. Rochester is not likely to return soon, I suppose?\"", "\"Indeed he is--in three days, he says: that will be next Thursday; and\nnot alone either.", "I don't know how many of the fine people at the Leas\nare coming with him: he sends directions for all the best bedrooms to be\nprepared; and the library and drawing-rooms are to be cleaned out; I am\nto get more kitchen hands from the George Inn, at Millcote, and from\nwherever else I can; and the ladies will bring their maids and the\ngentlemen their valets: so we shall have a full house of it.\"", "And Mrs.\nFairfax swallowed her breakfast and hastened away to commence operations.", "The three days were, as she had foretold, busy enough.", "I had thought all\nthe rooms at Thornfield beautifully clean and well arranged; but it\nappears I was mistaken.", "Three women were got to help; and such\nscrubbing, such brushing, such washing of paint and beating of carpets,\nsuch taking down and putting up of pictures, such polishing of mirrors\nand lustres, such lighting of fires in bedrooms, such airing of sheets\nand feather-beds on hearths, I never beheld, either before or since.", "Adele ran quite wild in the midst of it: the preparations for company and\nthe prospect of their arrival, seemed to throw her into ecstasies.", "She\nwould have Sophie to look over all her \"toilettes,\" as she called frocks;\nto furbish up any that were \"_passees_,\" and to air and arrange the new.", "For herself, she did nothing but caper about in the front chambers, jump\non and off the bedsteads, and lie on the mattresses and piled-up bolsters\nand pillows before the enormous fires roaring in the chimneys.", "From\nschool duties she was exonerated: Mrs. Fairfax had pressed me into her\nservice, and I was all day in the storeroom, helping (or hindering) her\nand the cook; learning to make custards and cheese-cakes and French\npastry, to truss game and garnish desert-dishes.", "The party were expected to arrive on Thursday afternoon, in time for\ndinner at six.", "During the intervening period I had no time to nurse\nchimeras; and I believe I was as active and gay as anybody--Adele\nexcepted.", "Still, now and then, I received a damping check to my\ncheerfulness; and was, in spite of myself, thrown back on the region of\ndoubts and portents, and dark conjectures.", "This was when I chanced to\nsee the third-storey staircase door (which of late had always been kept\nlocked) open slowly, and give passage to the form of Grace Poole, in prim\ncap, white apron, and handkerchief; when I watched her glide along the\ngallery, her quiet tread muffled in a list slipper; when I saw her look\ninto the bustling, topsy-turvy bedrooms,--just say a word, perhaps, to\nthe charwoman about the proper way to polish a grate, or clean a marble\nmantelpiece, or take stains from papered walls, and then pass on.", "She\nwould thus descend to the kitchen once a day, eat her dinner, smoke a\nmoderate pipe on the hearth, and go back, carrying her pot of porter with\nher, for her private solace, in her own gloomy, upper haunt.", "Only one\nhour in the twenty-four did she pass with her fellow-servants below; all\nthe rest of her time was spent in some low-ceiled, oaken chamber of the\nsecond storey: there she sat and sewed--and probably laughed drearily to\nherself,--as companionless as a prisoner in his dungeon.", "The strangest thing of all was, that not a soul in the house, except me,\nnoticed her habits, or seemed to marvel at them: no one discussed her\nposition or employment; no one pitied her solitude or isolation.", "I once,\nindeed, overheard part of a dialogue between Leah and one of the\ncharwomen, of which Grace formed the subject.", "Leah had been saying\nsomething I had not caught, and the charwoman remarked--\n\n\"She gets good wages, I guess?\"", "\"Yes,\" said Leah; \"I wish I had as good; not that mine are to complain\nof,--there's no stinginess at Thornfield; but they're not one fifth of\nthe sum Mrs. Poole receives.", "And she is laying by: she goes every\nquarter to the bank at Millcote.", "I should not wonder but she has saved\nenough to keep her independent if she liked to leave; but I suppose she's\ngot used to the place; and then she's not forty yet, and strong and able\nfor anything.", "It is too soon for her to give up business.\"", "\"She is a good hand, I daresay,\" said the charwoman.", "\"Ah!--she understands what she has to do,--nobody better,\" rejoined Leah\nsignificantly; \"and it is not every one could fill her shoes--not for all\nthe money she gets.\"", "\"That it is not!\"", "was the reply.", "\"I wonder whether the master--\"\n\nThe charwoman was going on; but here Leah turned and perceived me, and\nshe instantly gave her companion a nudge.", "\"Doesn't she know?\"", "I heard the woman whisper.", "Leah shook her head, and the conversation was of course dropped.", "All I\nhad gathered from it amounted to this,--that there was a mystery at\nThornfield; and that from participation in that mystery I was purposely\nexcluded.", "Thursday came: all work had been completed the previous evening; carpets\nwere laid down, bed-hangings festooned, radiant white counterpanes\nspread, toilet tables arranged, furniture rubbed, flowers piled in vases:\nboth chambers and saloons looked as fresh and bright as hands could make\nthem.", "The hall, too, was scoured; and the great carved clock, as well as\nthe steps and banisters of the staircase, were polished to the brightness\nof glass; in the dining-room, the sideboard flashed resplendent with\nplate; in the drawing-room and boudoir, vases of exotics bloomed on all\nsides.", "Afternoon arrived: Mrs. Fairfax assumed her best black satin gown, her\ngloves, and her gold watch; for it was her part to receive the\ncompany,--to conduct the ladies to their rooms, &c. Adele, too, would be\ndressed: though I thought she had little chance of being introduced to\nthe party that day at least.", "However, to please her, I allowed Sophie to\napparel her in one of her short, full muslin frocks.", "For myself, I had\nno need to make any change; I should not be called upon to quit my\nsanctum of the schoolroom; for a sanctum it was now become to me,--\"a\nvery pleasant refuge in time of trouble.\"", "It had been a mild, serene spring day--one of those days which, towards\nthe end of March or the beginning of April, rise shining over the earth\nas heralds of summer.", "It was drawing to an end now; but the evening was\neven warm, and I sat at work in the schoolroom with the window open.", "\"It gets late,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, entering in rustling state.", "\"I am\nglad I ordered dinner an hour after the time Mr. Rochester mentioned; for\nit is past six now.", "I have sent John down to the gates to see if there\nis anything on the road: one can see a long way from thence in the\ndirection of Millcote.\"", "She went to the window.", "\"Here he is!\"", "said she.", "\"Well, John\" (leaning out), \"any news?\"", "\"They're coming, ma'am,\" was the answer.", "\"They'll be here in ten\nminutes.\"", "Adele flew to the window.", "I followed, taking care to stand on one side,\nso that, screened by the curtain, I could see without being seen.", "The ten minutes John had given seemed very long, but at last wheels were\nheard; four equestrians galloped up the drive, and after them came two\nopen carriages.", "Fluttering veils and waving plumes filled the vehicles;\ntwo of the cavaliers were young, dashing-looking gentlemen; the third was\nMr. Rochester, on his black horse, Mesrour, Pilot bounding before him; at\nhis side rode a lady, and he and she were the first of the party.", "Her\npurple riding-habit almost swept the ground, her veil streamed long on\nthe breeze; mingling with its transparent folds, and gleaming through\nthem, shone rich raven ringlets.", "\"Miss Ingram!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax, and away she hurried to her post\nbelow.", "The cavalcade, following the sweep of the drive, quickly turned the angle\nof the house, and I lost sight of it.", "Adele now petitioned to go down;\nbut I took her on my knee, and gave her to understand that she must not\non any account think of venturing in sight of the ladies, either now or\nat any other time, unless expressly sent for: that Mr. Rochester would be\nvery angry, &c. \"Some natural tears she shed\" on being told this; but as\nI began to look very grave, she consented at last to wipe them.", "A joyous stir was now audible in the hall: gentlemen's deep tones and\nladies' silvery accents blent harmoniously together, and distinguishable\nabove all, though not loud, was the sonorous voice of the master of\nThornfield Hall, welcoming his fair and gallant guests under its roof.", "Then light steps ascended the stairs; and there was a tripping through\nthe gallery, and soft cheerful laughs, and opening and closing doors,\nand, for a time, a hush.", "\"Elles changent de toilettes,\" said Adele; who, listening attentively,\nhad followed every movement; and she sighed.", "\"Chez maman,\" said she, \"quand il y avait du monde, je le suivais\npartout, au salon et a leurs chambres; souvent je regardais les femmes de\nchambre coiffer et habiller les dames, et c'etait si amusant: comme cela\non apprend.\"", "\"Don't you feel hungry, Adele?\"", "\"Mais oui, mademoiselle: voila cinq ou six heures que nous n'avons pas\nmange.\"", "\"Well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, I will venture down and\nget you something to eat.\"", "And issuing from my asylum with precaution, I sought a back-stairs which\nconducted directly to the kitchen.", "All in that region was fire and\ncommotion; the soup and fish were in the last stage of projection, and\nthe cook hung over her crucibles in a frame of mind and body threatening\nspontaneous combustion.", "In the servants' hall two coachmen and three\ngentlemen's gentlemen stood or sat round the fire; the abigails, I\nsuppose, were upstairs with their mistresses; the new servants, that had\nbeen hired from Millcote, were bustling about everywhere.", "Threading this\nchaos, I at last reached the larder; there I took possession of a cold\nchicken, a roll of bread, some tarts, a plate or two and a knife and\nfork: with this booty I made a hasty retreat.", "I had regained the\ngallery, and was just shutting the back-door behind me, when an\naccelerated hum warned me that the ladies were about to issue from their\nchambers.", "I could not proceed to the schoolroom without passing some of\ntheir doors, and running the risk of being surprised with my cargo of\nvictualage; so I stood still at this end, which, being windowless, was\ndark: quite dark now, for the sun was set and twilight gathering.", "Presently the chambers gave up their fair tenants one after another: each\ncame out gaily and airily, with dress that gleamed lustrous through the\ndusk.", "For a moment they stood grouped together at the other extremity of\nthe gallery, conversing in a key of sweet subdued vivacity: they then\ndescended the staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright mist rolls down\na hill.", "Their collective appearance had left on me an impression of high-\nborn elegance, such as I had never before received.", "I found Adele peeping through the schoolroom door, which she held ajar.", "\"What beautiful ladies!\"", "cried she in English.", "\"Oh, I wish I might go to\nthem!", "Do you think Mr. Rochester will send for us by-and-bye, after\ndinner?\"", "\"No, indeed, I don't; Mr. Rochester has something else to think about.", "Never mind the ladies to-night; perhaps you will see them to-morrow: here\nis your dinner.\"", "She was really hungry, so the chicken and tarts served to divert her\nattention for a time.", "It was well I secured this forage, or both she, I,\nand Sophie, to whom I conveyed a share of our repast, would have run a\nchance of getting no dinner at all: every one downstairs was too much\nengaged to think of us.", "The dessert was not carried out till after nine\nand at ten footmen were still running to and fro with trays and coffee-\ncups.", "I allowed Adele to sit up much later than usual; for she declared\nshe could not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening and\nshutting below, and people bustling about.", "Besides, she added, a message\nmight possibly come from Mr. Rochester when she was undressed; \"et alors\nquel dommage!\"", "I told her stories as long as she would listen to them; and then for a\nchange I took her out into the gallery.", "The hall lamp was now lit, and\nit amused her to look over the balustrade and watch the servants passing\nbackwards and forwards.", "When the evening was far advanced, a sound of\nmusic issued from the drawing-room, whither the piano had been removed;\nAdele and I sat down on the top step of the stairs to listen.", "Presently\na voice blent with the rich tones of the instrument; it was a lady who\nsang, and very sweet her notes were.", "The solo over, a duet followed, and\nthen a glee: a joyous conversational murmur filled up the intervals.", "I\nlistened long: suddenly I discovered that my ear was wholly intent on\nanalysing the mingled sounds, and trying to discriminate amidst the\nconfusion of accents those of Mr. Rochester; and when it caught them,\nwhich it soon did, it found a further task in framing the tones, rendered\nby distance inarticulate, into words.", "The clock struck eleven.", "I looked at Adele, whose head leant against my\nshoulder; her eyes were waxing heavy, so I took her up in my arms and\ncarried her off to bed.", "It was near one before the gentlemen and ladies\nsought their chambers.", "The next day was as fine as its predecessor: it was devoted by the party\nto an excursion to some site in the neighbourhood.", "They set out early in\nthe forenoon, some on horseback, the rest in carriages; I witnessed both\nthe departure and the return.", "Miss Ingram, as before, was the only lady\nequestrian; and, as before, Mr. Rochester galloped at her side; the two\nrode a little apart from the rest.", "I pointed out this circumstance to\nMrs. Fairfax, who was standing at the window with me--\n\n\"You said it was not likely they should think of being married,\" said I,\n\"but you see Mr. Rochester evidently prefers her to any of the other\nladies.\"", "\"Yes, I daresay: no doubt he admires her.\"", "\"And she him,\" I added; \"look how she leans her head towards him as if\nshe were conversing confidentially; I wish I could see her face; I have\nnever had a glimpse of it yet.\"", "\"You will see her this evening,\" answered Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"I happened to\nremark to Mr. Rochester how much Adele wished to be introduced to the\nladies, and he said: 'Oh!", "let her come into the drawing-room after\ndinner; and request Miss Eyre to accompany her.'\"", "\"Yes; he said that from mere politeness: I need not go, I am sure,\" I\nanswered.", "\"Well, I observed to him that as you were unused to company, I did not\nthink you would like appearing before so gay a party--all strangers; and\nhe replied, in his quick way--'Nonsense!", "If she objects, tell her it is\nmy particular wish; and if she resists, say I shall come and fetch her in\ncase of contumacy.'\"", "\"I will not give him that trouble,\" I answered.", "\"I will go, if no better\nmay be; but I don't like it.", "Shall you be there, Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "\"No; I pleaded off, and he admitted my plea.", "I'll tell you how to manage\nso as to avoid the embarrassment of making a formal entrance, which is\nthe most disagreeable part of the business.", "You must go into the drawing-\nroom while it is empty, before the ladies leave the dinner-table; choose\nyour seat in any quiet nook you like; you need not stay long after the\ngentlemen come in, unless you please: just let Mr. Rochester see you are\nthere and then slip away--nobody will notice you.\"", "\"Will these people remain long, do you think?\"", "\"Perhaps two or three weeks, certainly not more.", "After the Easter\nrecess, Sir George Lynn, who was lately elected member for Millcote, will\nhave to go up to town and take his seat; I daresay Mr. Rochester will\naccompany him: it surprises me that he has already made so protracted a\nstay at Thornfield.\"", "It was with some trepidation that I perceived the hour approach when I\nwas to repair with my charge to the drawing-room.", "Adele had been in a\nstate of ecstasy all day, after hearing she was to be presented to the\nladies in the evening; and it was not till Sophie commenced the operation\nof dressing her that she sobered down.", "Then the importance of the\nprocess quickly steadied her, and by the time she had her curls arranged\nin well-smoothed, drooping clusters, her pink satin frock put on, her\nlong sash tied, and her lace mittens adjusted, she looked as grave as any\njudge.", "No need to warn her not to disarrange her attire: when she was\ndressed, she sat demurely down in her little chair, taking care\npreviously to lift up the satin skirt for fear she should crease it, and\nassured me she would not stir thence till I was ready.", "This I quickly\nwas: my best dress (the silver-grey one, purchased for Miss Temple's\nwedding, and never worn since) was soon put on; my hair was soon\nsmoothed; my sole ornament, the pearl brooch, soon assumed.", "We\ndescended.", "Fortunately there was another entrance to the drawing-room than that\nthrough the saloon where they were all seated at dinner.", "We found the\napartment vacant; a large fire burning silently on the marble hearth, and\nwax candles shining in bright solitude, amid the exquisite flowers with\nwhich the tables were adorned.", "The crimson curtain hung before the arch:\nslight as was the separation this drapery formed from the party in the\nadjoining saloon, they spoke in so low a key that nothing of their\nconversation could be distinguished beyond a soothing murmur.", "Adele, who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising\nimpression, sat down, without a word, on the footstool I pointed out to\nher.", "I retired to a window-seat, and taking a book from a table near,\nendeavoured to read.", "Adele brought her stool to my feet; ere long she\ntouched my knee.", "\"What is it, Adele?\"", "\"Est-ce que je ne puis pas prendrie une seule de ces fleurs magnifiques,\nmademoiselle?", "Seulement pour completer ma toilette.\"", "\"You think too much of your 'toilette,' Adele: but you may have a\nflower.\"", "And I took a rose from a vase and fastened it in her sash.", "She\nsighed a sigh of ineffable satisfaction, as if her cup of happiness were\nnow full.", "I turned my face away to conceal a smile I could not suppress:\nthere was something ludicrous as well as painful in the little\nParisienne's earnest and innate devotion to matters of dress.", "A soft sound of rising now became audible; the curtain was swept back\nfrom the arch; through it appeared the dining-room, with its lit lustre\npouring down light on the silver and glass of a magnificent\ndessert-service covering a long table; a band of ladies stood in the\nopening; they entered, and the curtain fell behind them.", "There were but eight; yet, somehow, as they flocked in, they gave the\nimpression of a much larger number.", "Some of them were very tall; many\nwere dressed in white; and all had a sweeping amplitude of array that\nseemed to magnify their persons as a mist magnifies the moon.", "I rose and\ncurtseyed to them: one or two bent their heads in return, the others only\nstared at me.", "They dispersed about the room, reminding me, by the lightness and\nbuoyancy of their movements, of a flock of white plumy birds.", "Some of\nthem threw themselves in half-reclining positions on the sofas and\nottomans: some bent over the tables and examined the flowers and books:\nthe rest gathered in a group round the fire: all talked in a low but\nclear tone which seemed habitual to them.", "I knew their names afterwards,\nand may as well mention them now.", "First, there was Mrs. Eshton and two of her daughters.", "She had evidently\nbeen a handsome woman, and was well preserved still.", "Of her daughters,\nthe eldest, Amy, was rather little: naive, and child-like in face and\nmanner, and piquant in form; her white muslin dress and blue sash became\nher well.", "The second, Louisa, was taller and more elegant in figure;\nwith a very pretty face, of that order the French term _minois chiffone_:\nboth sisters were fair as lilies.", "Lady Lynn was a large and stout personage of about forty, very erect,\nvery haughty-looking, richly dressed in a satin robe of changeful sheen:\nher dark hair shone glossily under the shade of an azure plume, and\nwithin the circlet of a band of gems.", "Mrs.", "Colonel Dent was less showy; but, I thought, more lady-like.", "She\nhad a slight figure, a pale, gentle face, and fair hair.", "Her black satin\ndress, her scarf of rich foreign lace, and her pearl ornaments, pleased\nme better than the rainbow radiance of the titled dame.", "But the three most distinguished--partly, perhaps, because the tallest\nfigures of the band--were the Dowager Lady Ingram and her daughters,\nBlanche and Mary.", "They were all three of the loftiest stature of women.", "The Dowager might be between forty and fifty: her shape was still fine;\nher hair (by candle-light at least) still black; her teeth, too, were\nstill apparently perfect.", "Most people would have termed her a splendid\nwoman of her age: and so she was, no doubt, physically speaking; but then\nthere was an expression of almost insupportable haughtiness in her\nbearing and countenance.", "She had Roman features and a double chin,\ndisappearing into a throat like a pillar: these features appeared to me\nnot only inflated and darkened, but even furrowed with pride; and the\nchin was sustained by the same principle, in a position of almost\npreternatural erectness.", "She had, likewise, a fierce and a hard eye: it\nreminded me of Mrs. Reed's; she mouthed her words in speaking; her voice\nwas deep, its inflections very pompous, very dogmatical,--very\nintolerable, in short.", "A crimson velvet robe, and a shawl turban of some\ngold-wrought Indian fabric, invested her (I suppose she thought) with a\ntruly imperial dignity.", "Blanche and Mary were of equal stature,--straight and tall as poplars.", "Mary was too slim for her height, but Blanche was moulded like a Dian.", "I\nregarded her, of course, with special interest.", "First, I wished to see\nwhether her appearance accorded with Mrs. Fairfax's description;\nsecondly, whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature I had painted\nof her; and thirdly--it will out!--whether it were such as I should fancy\nlikely to suit Mr. Rochester's taste.", "As far as person went, she answered point for point, both to my picture\nand Mrs. Fairfax's description.", "The noble bust, the sloping shoulders,\nthe graceful neck, the dark eyes and black ringlets were all there;--but\nher face?", "Her face was like her mother's; a youthful unfurrowed\nlikeness: the same low brow, the same high features, the same pride.", "It\nwas not, however, so saturnine a pride!", "she laughed continually; her\nlaugh was satirical, and so was the habitual expression of her arched and\nhaughty lip.", "Genius is said to be self-conscious.", "I cannot tell whether Miss Ingram\nwas a genius, but she was self-conscious--remarkably self-conscious\nindeed.", "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "It seemed Mrs. Dent had not studied that science: though, as she\nsaid, she liked flowers, \"especially wild ones;\" Miss Ingram had, and she\nran over its vocabulary with an air.", "I presently perceived she was (what\nis vernacularly termed) _trailing_ Mrs. Dent; that is, playing on her\nignorance--her _trail_ might be clever, but it was decidedly not good-\nnatured.", "She played: her execution was brilliant; she sang: her voice\nwas fine; she talked French apart to her mamma; and she talked it well,\nwith fluency and with a good accent.", "Mary had a milder and more open countenance than Blanche; softer features\ntoo, and a skin some shades fairer (Miss Ingram was dark as a\nSpaniard)--but Mary was deficient in life: her face lacked expression,\nher eye lustre; she had nothing to say, and having once taken her seat,\nremained fixed like a statue in its niche.", "The sisters were both attired\nin spotless white.", "And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice as Mr. Rochester would be\nlikely to make?", "I could not tell--I did not know his taste in female\nbeauty.", "If he liked the majestic, she was the very type of majesty: then\nshe was accomplished, sprightly.", "Most gentlemen would admire her, I\nthought; and that he _did_ admire her, I already seemed to have obtained\nproof: to remove the last shade of doubt, it remained but to see them\ntogether.", "You are not to suppose, reader, that Adele has all this time been sitting\nmotionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the ladies entered, she\nrose, advanced to meet them, made a stately reverence, and said with\ngravity--\n\n\"Bon jour, mesdames.\"", "And Miss Ingram had looked down at her with a mocking air, and exclaimed,\n\"Oh, what a little puppet!\"", "Lady Lynn had remarked, \"It is Mr. Rochester's ward, I suppose--the\nlittle French girl he was speaking of.\"", "Mrs. Dent had kindly taken her hand, and given her a kiss.", "Amy and Louisa Eshton had cried out simultaneously--\"What a love of a\nchild!\"", "And then they had called her to a sofa, where she now sat, ensconced\nbetween them, chattering alternately in French and broken English;\nabsorbing not only the young ladies' attention, but that of Mrs. Eshton\nand Lady Lynn, and getting spoilt to her heart's content.", "At last coffee is brought in, and the gentlemen are summoned.", "I sit in\nthe shade--if any shade there be in this brilliantly-lit apartment; the\nwindow-curtain half hides me.", "Again the arch yawns; they come.", "The\ncollective appearance of the gentlemen, like that of the ladies, is very\nimposing: they are all costumed in black; most of them are tall, some\nyoung.", "Henry and Frederick Lynn are very dashing sparks indeed; and\nColonel Dent is a fine soldierly man.", "Mr. Eshton, the magistrate of the\ndistrict, is gentleman-like: his hair is quite white, his eyebrows and\nwhiskers still dark, which gives him something of the appearance of a\n\"pere noble de theatre.\"", "Lord Ingram, like his sisters, is very tall;\nlike them, also, he is handsome; but he shares Mary's apathetic and\nlistless look: he seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of\nblood or vigour of brain.", "And where is Mr. Rochester?", "He comes in last: I am not looking at the arch, yet I see him enter.", "I\ntry to concentrate my attention on those netting-needles, on the meshes\nof the purse I am forming--I wish to think only of the work I have in my\nhands, to see only the silver beads and silk threads that lie in my lap;\nwhereas, I distinctly behold his figure, and I inevitably recall the\nmoment when I last saw it; just after I had rendered him, what he deemed,\nan essential service, and he, holding my hand, and looking down on my\nface, surveyed me with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to\noverflow; in whose emotions I had a part.", "How near had I approached him\nat that moment!", "What had occurred since, calculated to change his and my\nrelative positions?", "Yet now, how distant, how far estranged we were!", "So\nfar estranged, that I did not expect him to come and speak to me.", "I did\nnot wonder, when, without looking at me, he took a seat at the other side\nof the room, and began conversing with some of the ladies.", "No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on them, and that I\nmight gaze without being observed, than my eyes were drawn involuntarily\nto his face; I could not keep their lids under control: they would rise,\nand the irids would fix on him.", "I looked, and had an acute pleasure in\nlooking,--a precious yet poignant pleasure; pure gold, with a steely\npoint of agony: a pleasure like what the thirst-perishing man might feel\nwho knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and\ndrinks divine draughts nevertheless.", "Most true is it that \"beauty is in the eye of the gazer.\"", "My master's\ncolourless, olive face, square, massive brow, broad and jetty eyebrows,\ndeep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth,--all energy, decision,\nwill,--were not beautiful, according to rule; but they were more than\nbeautiful to me; they were full of an interest, an influence that quite\nmastered me,--that took my feelings from my own power and fettered them\nin his.", "I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought\nhard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now,\nat the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously arrived, green and\nstrong!", "He made me love him without looking at me.", "I compared him with his guests.", "What was the gallant grace of the Lynns,\nthe languid elegance of Lord Ingram,--even the military distinction of\nColonel Dent, contrasted with his look of native pith and genuine power?", "I had no sympathy in their appearance, their expression: yet I could\nimagine that most observers would call them attractive, handsome,\nimposing; while they would pronounce Mr. Rochester at once harsh-featured\nand melancholy-looking.", "I saw them smile, laugh--it was nothing; the\nlight of the candles had as much soul in it as their smile; the tinkle of\nthe bell as much significance as their laugh.", "I saw Mr. Rochester\nsmile:--his stern features softened; his eye grew both brilliant and\ngentle, its ray both searching and sweet.", "He was talking, at the moment,\nto Louisa and Amy Eshton.", "I wondered to see them receive with calm that\nlook which seemed to me so penetrating: I expected their eyes to fall,\ntheir colour to rise under it; yet I was glad when I found they were in\nno sense moved.", "\"He is not to them what he is to me,\" I thought: \"he is\nnot of their kind.", "I believe he is of mine;--I am sure he is--I feel\nakin to him--I understand the language of his countenance and movements:\nthough rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and\nheart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.", "Did\nI say, a few days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to receive\nmy salary at his hands?", "Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other\nlight than as a paymaster?", "Blasphemy against nature!", "Every good, true,\nvigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively round him.", "I know I must\nconceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must remember that he\ncannot care much for me.", "For when I say that I am of his kind, I do not\nmean that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean\nonly that I have certain tastes and feelings in common with him.", "I must,\nthen, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:--and yet, while I\nbreathe and think, I must love him.\"", "Coffee is handed.", "The ladies, since the gentlemen entered, have become\nlively as larks; conversation waxes brisk and merry.", "Colonel Dent and\nMr. Eshton argue on politics; their wives listen.", "The two proud\ndowagers, Lady Lynn and Lady Ingram, confabulate together.", "Sir\nGeorge--whom, by-the-bye, I have forgotten to describe,--a very big, and\nvery fresh-looking country gentleman, stands before their sofa, coffee-\ncup in hand, and occasionally puts in a word.", "Mr. Frederick Lynn has\ntaken a seat beside Mary Ingram, and is showing her the engravings of a\nsplendid volume: she looks, smiles now and then, but apparently says\nlittle.", "The tall and phlegmatic Lord Ingram leans with folded arms on\nthe chair-back of the little and lively Amy Eshton; she glances up at\nhim, and chatters like a wren: she likes him better than she does Mr.\nRochester.", "Henry Lynn has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet of\nLouisa: Adele shares it with him: he is trying to talk French with her,\nand Louisa laughs at his blunders.", "With whom will Blanche Ingram pair?", "She is standing alone at the table, bending gracefully over an album.", "She\nseems waiting to be sought; but she will not wait too long: she herself\nselects a mate.", "Mr. Rochester, having quitted the Eshtons, stands on the hearth as\nsolitary as she stands by the table: she confronts him, taking her\nstation on the opposite side of the mantelpiece.", "\"Mr. Rochester, I thought you were not fond of children?\"", "\"Nor am I.\"", "\"Then, what induced you to take charge of such a little doll as that?\"", "(pointing to Adele).", "\"Where did you pick her up?\"", "\"I did not pick her up; she was left on my hands.\"", "\"You should have sent her to school.\"", "\"I could not afford it: schools are so dear.\"", "\"Why, I suppose you have a governess for her: I saw a person with her\njust now--is she gone?", "Oh, no!", "there she is still, behind the window-\ncurtain.", "You pay her, of course; I should think it quite as\nexpensive,--more so; for you have them both to keep in addition.\"", "I feared--or should I say, hoped?--the allusion to me would make Mr.\nRochester glance my way; and I involuntarily shrank farther into the\nshade: but he never turned his eyes.", "\"I have not considered the subject,\" said he indifferently, looking\nstraight before him.", "\"No, you men never do consider economy and common sense.", "You should hear\nmama on the chapter of governesses: Mary and I have had, I should think,\na dozen at least in our day; half of them detestable and the rest\nridiculous, and all incubi--were they not, mama?\"", "\"Did you speak, my own?\"", "The young lady thus claimed as the dowager's special property, reiterated\nher question with an explanation.", "\"My dearest, don't mention governesses; the word makes me nervous.", "I\nhave suffered a martyrdom from their incompetency and caprice.", "I thank\nHeaven I have now done with them!\"", "Mrs. Dent here bent over to the pious lady and whispered something in her\near; I suppose, from the answer elicited, it was a reminder that one of\nthe anathematised race was present.", "\"Tant pis!\"", "said her Ladyship, \"I hope it may do her good!\"", "Then, in a\nlower tone, but still loud enough for me to hear, \"I noticed her; I am a\njudge of physiognomy, and in hers I see all the faults of her class.\"", "\"What are they, madam?\"", "inquired Mr. Rochester aloud.", "\"I will tell you in your private ear,\" replied she, wagging her turban\nthree times with portentous significancy.", "\"But my curiosity will be past its appetite; it craves food now.\"", "\"Ask Blanche; she is nearer you than I.\"", "\"Oh, don't refer him to me, mama!", "I have just one word to say of the\nwhole tribe; they are a nuisance.", "Not that I ever suffered much from\nthem; I took care to turn the tables.", "What tricks Theodore and I used to\nplay on our Miss Wilsons, and Mrs. Greys, and Madame Jouberts!", "Mary was\nalways too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit.", "The best fun was with\nMadame Joubert: Miss Wilson was a poor sickly thing, lachrymose and low-\nspirited, not worth the trouble of vanquishing, in short; and Mrs. Grey\nwas coarse and insensible; no blow took effect on her.", "But poor Madame\nJoubert!", "I see her yet in her raging passions, when we had driven her to\nextremities--spilt our tea, crumbled our bread and butter, tossed our\nbooks up to the ceiling, and played a charivari with the ruler and desk,\nthe fender and fire-irons.", "Theodore, do you remember those merry days?\"", "\"Yaas, to be sure I do,\" drawled Lord Ingram; \"and the poor old stick\nused to cry out 'Oh you villains childs!'", "--and then we sermonised her on\nthe presumption of attempting to teach such clever blades as we were,\nwhen she was herself so ignorant.\"", "\"We did; and, Tedo, you know, I helped you in prosecuting (or\npersecuting) your tutor, whey-faced Mr. Vining--the parson in the pip, as\nwe used to call him.", "He and Miss Wilson took the liberty of falling in\nlove with each other--at least Tedo and I thought so; we surprised sundry\ntender glances and sighs which we interpreted as tokens of 'la belle\npassion,' and I promise you the public soon had the benefit of our\ndiscovery; we employed it as a sort of lever to hoist our dead-weights\nfrom the house.", "Dear mama, there, as soon as she got an inkling of the\nbusiness, found out that it was of an immoral tendency.", "Did you not, my\nlady-mother?\"", "\"Certainly, my best.", "And I was quite right: depend on that: there are a\nthousand reasons why liaisons between governesses and tutors should never\nbe tolerated a moment in any well-regulated house; firstly--\"\n\n\"Oh, gracious, mama!", "Spare us the enumeration!", "_Au reste_, we all know\nthem: danger of bad example to innocence of childhood; distractions and\nconsequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached--mutual alliance\nand reliance; confidence thence resulting--insolence accompanying--mutiny\nand general blow-up.", "Am I right, Baroness Ingram, of Ingram Park?\"", "\"My lily-flower, you are right now, as always.\"", "\"Then no more need be said: change the subject.\"", "Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this dictum, joined in with her\nsoft, infantine tone: \"Louisa and I used to quiz our governess too; but\nshe was such a good creature, she would bear anything: nothing put her\nout.", "She was never cross with us; was she, Louisa?\"", "\"No, never: we might do what we pleased; ransack her desk and her\nworkbox, and turn her drawers inside out; and she was so good-natured,\nshe would give us anything we asked for.\"", "\"I suppose, now,\" said Miss Ingram, curling her lip sarcastically, \"we\nshall have an abstract of the memoirs of all the governesses extant: in\norder to avert such a visitation, I again move the introduction of a new\ntopic.", "Mr. Rochester, do you second my motion?\"", "\"Madam, I support you on this point, as on every other.\"", "\"Then on me be the onus of bringing it forward.", "Signior Eduardo, are you\nin voice to-night?\"", "\"Donna Bianca, if you command it, I will be.\"", "\"Then, signior, I lay on you my sovereign behest to furbish up your lungs\nand other vocal organs, as they will be wanted on my royal service.\"", "\"Who would not be the Rizzio of so divine a Mary?\"", "\"A fig for Rizzio!\"", "cried she, tossing her head with all its curls, as\nshe moved to the piano.", "\"It is my opinion the fiddler David must have\nbeen an insipid sort of fellow; I like black Bothwell better: to my mind\na man is nothing without a spice of the devil in him; and history may say\nwhat it will of James Hepburn, but I have a notion, he was just the sort\nof wild, fierce, bandit hero whom I could have consented to gift with my\nhand.\"", "\"Gentlemen, you hear!", "Now which of you most resembles Bothwell?\"", "cried\nMr. Rochester.", "\"I should say the preference lies with you,\" responded Colonel Dent.", "\"On my honour, I am much obliged to you,\" was the reply.", "Miss Ingram, who had now seated herself with proud grace at the piano,\nspreading out her snowy robes in queenly amplitude, commenced a brilliant\nprelude; talking meantime.", "She appeared to be on her high horse\nto-night; both her words and her air seemed intended to excite not only\nthe admiration, but the amazement of her auditors: she was evidently bent\non striking them as something very dashing and daring indeed.", "\"Oh, I am so sick of the young men of the present day!\"", "exclaimed she,\nrattling away at the instrument.", "\"Poor, puny things, not fit to stir a\nstep beyond papa's park gates: nor to go even so far without mama's\npermission and guardianship!", "Creatures so absorbed in care about their\npretty faces, and their white hands, and their small feet; as if a man\nhad anything to do with beauty!", "As if loveliness were not the special\nprerogative of woman--her legitimate appanage and heritage!", "I grant an\nugly _woman_ is a blot on the fair face of creation; but as to the\n_gentlemen_, let them be solicitous to possess only strength and valour:\nlet their motto be:--Hunt, shoot, and fight: the rest is not worth a\nfillip.", "Such should be my device, were I a man.\"", "\"Whenever I marry,\" she continued after a pause which none interrupted,\n\"I am resolved my husband shall not be a rival, but a foil to me.", "I will\nsuffer no competitor near the throne; I shall exact an undivided homage:\nhis devotions shall not be shared between me and the shape he sees in his\nmirror.", "Mr. Rochester, now sing, and I will play for you.\"", "\"I am all obedience,\" was the response.", "\"Here then is a Corsair-song.", "Know that I doat on Corsairs; and for that\nreason, sing it _con spirito_.\"", "\"Commands from Miss Ingram's lips would put spirit into a mug of milk and\nwater.\"", "\"Take care, then: if you don't please me, I will shame you by showing how\nsuch things _should_ be done.\"", "\"That is offering a premium on incapacity: I shall now endeavour to\nfail.\"", "\"Gardez-vous en bien!", "If you err wilfully, I shall devise a\nproportionate punishment.\"", "\"Miss Ingram ought to be clement, for she has it in her power to inflict\na chastisement beyond mortal endurance.\"", "\"Ha!", "explain!\"", "commanded the lady.", "\"Pardon me, madam: no need of explanation; your own fine sense must\ninform you that one of your frowns would be a sufficient substitute for\ncapital punishment.\"", "\"Sing!\"", "said she, and again touching the piano, she commenced an\naccompaniment in spirited style.", "\"Now is my time to slip away,\" thought I: but the tones that then severed\nthe air arrested me.", "Mrs. Fairfax had said Mr. Rochester possessed a\nfine voice: he did--a mellow, powerful bass, into which he threw his own\nfeeling, his own force; finding a way through the ear to the heart, and\nthere waking sensation strangely.", "I waited till the last deep and full\nvibration had expired--till the tide of talk, checked an instant, had\nresumed its flow; I then quitted my sheltered corner and made my exit by\nthe side-door, which was fortunately near.", "Thence a narrow passage led\ninto the hall: in crossing it, I perceived my sandal was loose; I stopped\nto tie it, kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the foot of the\nstaircase.", "I heard the dining-room door unclose; a gentleman came out;\nrising hastily, I stood face to face with him: it was Mr. Rochester.", "\"How do you do?\"", "he asked.", "\"I am very well, sir.\"", "\"Why did you not come and speak to me in the room?\"", "I thought I might have retorted the question on him who put it: but I\nwould not take that freedom.", "I answered--\n\n\"I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir.\"", "\"What have you been doing during my absence?\"", "\"Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.\"", "\"And getting a good deal paler than you were--as I saw at first sight.", "What is the matter?\"", "\"Nothing at all, sir.\"", "\"Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?\"", "\"Not the least.\"", "\"Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early.\"", "\"I am tired, sir.\"", "He looked at me for a minute.", "\"And a little depressed,\" he said.", "\"What about?", "Tell me.\"", "\"Nothing--nothing, sir.", "I am not depressed.\"", "\"But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would\nbring tears to your eyes--indeed, they are there now, shining and\nswimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag.", "If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a\nservant passing, I would know what all this means.", "Well, to-night I\nexcuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you\nto appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect\nit.", "Now go, and send Sophie for Adele.", "Good-night, my--\" He stopped,\nbit his lip, and abruptly left me." ]

[ "Be sure that is the only tie he\nseriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object\nof your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so forth.", "The strangest thing of all was, that not a soul in the house, except me,\nnoticed her habits, or seemed to marvel at them: no one discussed her\nposition or employment; no one pitied her solitude or isolation.", "If she objects, tell her it is\nmy particular wish; and if she resists, say I shall come and fetch her in\ncase of contumacy.'\"", "Then the importance of the\nprocess quickly steadied her, and by the time she had her curls arranged\nin well-smoothed, drooping clusters, her pink satin frock put on, her\nlong sash tied, and her lace mittens adjusted, she looked as grave as any\njudge.", "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "Did you not, my\nlady-mother?\"", "Am I right, Baroness Ingram, of Ingram Park?\"", "Know that I doat on Corsairs; and for that\nreason, sing it _con spirito_.\"", "\"I am very well, sir.\"", "Tell me.\"" ]

[ "\"Indeed he is--in three days, he says: that will be next Thursday; and\nnot alone either.", "\"Oh, I wish I might go to\nthem!", "I have just one word to say of the\nwhole tribe; they are a nuisance.", "I know I must\nconceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must remember that he\ncannot care much for me.", "Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this dictum, joined in with her\nsoft, infantine tone: \"Louisa and I used to quiz our governess too; but\nshe was such a good creature, she would bear anything: nothing put her\nout.", "\"That is offering a premium on incapacity: I shall now endeavour to\nfail.\"", "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "The dessert was not carried out till after nine\nand at ten footmen were still running to and fro with trays and coffee-\ncups.", "Most true is it that \"beauty is in the eye of the gazer.\"", "\"I will go, if no better\nmay be; but I don't like it." ]

[ "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "It seemed Mrs. Dent had not studied that science: though, as she\nsaid, she liked flowers, \"especially wild ones;\" Miss Ingram had, and she\nran over its vocabulary with an air.", "I presently perceived she was (what\nis vernacularly termed) _trailing_ Mrs. Dent; that is, playing on her\nignorance--her _trail_ might be clever, but it was decidedly not good-\nnatured.", "She played: her execution was brilliant; she sang: her voice\nwas fine; she talked French apart to her mamma; and she talked it well,\nwith fluency and with a good accent.", "Mary had a milder and more open countenance than Blanche; softer features\ntoo, and a skin some shades fairer (Miss Ingram was dark as a\nSpaniard)--but Mary was deficient in life: her face lacked expression,\nher eye lustre; she had nothing to say, and having once taken her seat,\nremained fixed like a statue in its niche.", "The sisters were both attired\nin spotless white.", "And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice as Mr. Rochester would be\nlikely to make?", "I could not tell--I did not know his taste in female\nbeauty.", "If he liked the majestic, she was the very type of majesty: then\nshe was accomplished, sprightly.", "Most gentlemen would admire her, I\nthought; and that he _did_ admire her, I already seemed to have obtained\nproof: to remove the last shade of doubt, it remained but to see them\ntogether.", "You are not to suppose, reader, that Adele has all this time been sitting\nmotionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the ladies entered, she\nrose, advanced to meet them, made a stately reverence, and said with\ngravity--\n\n\"Bon jour, mesdames.\"" ]

[ "\n\nA week passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Rochester: ten days, and still\nhe did not come.", "Mrs. Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he\nwere to go straight from the Leas to London, and thence to the Continent,\nand not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to come; he had not\nunfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected.", "When\nI heard this, I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the\nheart.", "I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense\nof disappointment; but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles,\nI at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got\nover the temporary blunder--how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr.\nRochester's movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital\ninterest.", "Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority:\non the contrary, I just said--\n\n\"You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further than to\nreceive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee, and to be\ngrateful for such respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your duty,\nyou have a right to expect at his hands.", "Be sure that is the only tie he\nseriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object\nof your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so forth.", "He is not\nof your order: keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish\nthe love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not\nwanted and would be despised.\"", "I went on with my day's business tranquilly; but ever and anon vague\nsuggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why I should quit\nThornfield; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering\nconjectures about new situations: these thoughts I did not think to\ncheck; they might germinate and bear fruit if they could.", "Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight, when the post\nbrought Mrs. Fairfax a letter.", "\"It is from the master,\" said she, as she looked at the direction.", "\"And a little depressed,\" he said.", "\"What about?", "Tell me.\"", "\"Nothing--nothing, sir.", "I am not depressed.\"", "\"But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would\nbring tears to your eyes--indeed, they are there now, shining and\nswimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag.", "If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a\nservant passing, I would know what all this means.", "Well, to-night I\nexcuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you\nto appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect\nit.", "Now go, and send Sophie for Adele.", "Good-night, my--\" He stopped,\nbit his lip, and abruptly left me." ]

[ "\n\nMerry days were these at Thornfield Hall; and busy days too: how\ndifferent from the first three months of stillness, monotony, and\nsolitude I had passed beneath its roof!", "All sad feelings seemed now\ndriven from the house, all gloomy associations forgotten: there was life\neverywhere, movement all day long.", "You could not now traverse the\ngallery, once so hushed, nor enter the front chambers, once so\ntenantless, without encountering a smart lady's-maid or a dandy valet.", "The kitchen, the butler's pantry, the servants' hall, the entrance hall,\nwere equally alive; and the saloons were only left void and still when\nthe blue sky and halcyon sunshine of the genial spring weather called\ntheir occupants out into the grounds.", "Even when that weather was broken,\nand continuous rain set in for some days, no damp seemed cast over\nenjoyment: indoor amusements only became more lively and varied, in\nconsequence of the stop put to outdoor gaiety.", "I wondered what they were going to do the first evening a change of\nentertainment was proposed: they spoke of \"playing charades,\" but in my\nignorance I did not understand the term.", "The servants were called in,\nthe dining-room tables wheeled away, the lights otherwise disposed, the\nchairs placed in a semicircle opposite the arch.", "While Mr. Rochester and\nthe other gentlemen directed these alterations, the ladies were running\nup and down stairs ringing for their maids.", "Mrs. Fairfax was summoned to\ngive information respecting the resources of the house in shawls,\ndresses, draperies of any kind; and certain wardrobes of the third storey\nwere ransacked, and their contents, in the shape of brocaded and hooped\npetticoats, satin sacques, black modes, lace lappets, &c., were brought\ndown in armfuls by the abigails; then a selection was made, and such\nthings as were chosen were carried to the boudoir within the\ndrawing-room.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester had again summoned the ladies round him, and was\nselecting certain of their number to be of his party.", "\"Miss Ingram is\nmine, of course,\" said he: afterwards he named the two Misses Eshton, and\nMrs. Dent.", "He looked at me: I happened to be near him, as I had been\nfastening the clasp of Mrs. Dent's bracelet, which had got loose.", "\"Will you play?\"", "he asked.", "I shook my head.", "He did not insist, which I\nrather feared he would have done; he allowed me to return quietly to my\nusual seat.", "He and his aids now withdrew behind the curtain: the other party, which\nwas headed by Colonel Dent, sat down on the crescent of chairs.", "One of\nthe gentlemen, Mr. Eshton, observing me, seemed to propose that I should\nbe asked to join them; but Lady Ingram instantly negatived the notion.", "\"No,\" I heard her say: \"she looks too stupid for any game of the sort.\"", "Ere long a bell tinkled, and the curtain drew up.", "Within the arch, the\nbulky figure of Sir George Lynn, whom Mr. Rochester had likewise chosen,\nwas seen enveloped in a white sheet: before him, on a table, lay open a\nlarge book; and at his side stood Amy Eshton, draped in Mr. Rochester's\ncloak, and holding a book in her hand.", "Somebody, unseen, rang the bell\nmerrily; then Adele (who had insisted on being one of her guardian's\nparty), bounded forward, scattering round her the contents of a basket of\nflowers she carried on her arm.", "Then appeared the magnificent figure of\nMiss Ingram, clad in white, a long veil on her head, and a wreath of\nroses round her brow; by her side walked Mr. Rochester, and together they\ndrew near the table.", "They knelt; while Mrs. Dent and Louisa Eshton,\ndressed also in white, took up their stations behind them.", "A ceremony\nfollowed, in dumb show, in which it was easy to recognise the pantomime\nof a marriage.", "At its termination, Colonel Dent and his party consulted\nin whispers for two minutes, then the Colonel called out--\n\n\"Bride!\"", "Mr. Rochester bowed, and the curtain fell.", "A considerable interval elapsed before it again rose.", "Its second rising\ndisplayed a more elaborately prepared scene than the last.", "The drawing-\nroom, as I have before observed, was raised two steps above the dining-\nroom, and on the top of the upper step, placed a yard or two back within\nthe room, appeared a large marble basin--which I recognised as an\nornament of the conservatory--where it usually stood, surrounded by\nexotics, and tenanted by gold fish--and whence it must have been\ntransported with some trouble, on account of its size and weight.", "Seated on the carpet, by the side of this basin, was seen Mr. Rochester,\ncostumed in shawls, with a turban on his head.", "His dark eyes and swarthy\nskin and Paynim features suited the costume exactly: he looked the very\nmodel of an Eastern emir, an agent or a victim of the bowstring.", "Presently advanced into view Miss Ingram.", "She, too, was attired in\noriental fashion: a crimson scarf tied sash-like round the waist: an\nembroidered handkerchief knotted about her temples; her\nbeautifully-moulded arms bare, one of them upraised in the act of\nsupporting a pitcher, poised gracefully on her head.", "Both her cast of\nform and feature, her complexion and her general air, suggested the idea\nof some Israelitish princess of the patriarchal days; and such was\ndoubtless the character she intended to represent.", "She approached the basin, and bent over it as if to fill her pitcher; she\nagain lifted it to her head.", "The personage on the well-brink now seemed\nto accost her; to make some request:--\"She hasted, let down her pitcher\non her hand, and gave him to drink.\"", "From the bosom of his robe he then\nproduced a casket, opened it and showed magnificent bracelets and\nearrings; she acted astonishment and admiration; kneeling, he laid the\ntreasure at her feet; incredulity and delight were expressed by her looks\nand gestures; the stranger fastened the bracelets on her arms and the\nrings in her ears.", "It was Eliezer and Rebecca: the camels only were\nwanting.", "The divining party again laid their heads together: apparently they could\nnot agree about the word or syllable the scene illustrated.", "Colonel\nDent, their spokesman, demanded \"the tableau of the whole;\" whereupon the\ncurtain again descended.", "On its third rising only a portion of the drawing-room was disclosed; the\nrest being concealed by a screen, hung with some sort of dark and coarse\ndrapery.", "The marble basin was removed; in its place, stood a deal table\nand a kitchen chair: these objects were visible by a very dim light\nproceeding from a horn lantern, the wax candles being all extinguished.", "Amidst this sordid scene, sat a man with his clenched hands resting on\nhis knees, and his eyes bent on the ground.", "I knew Mr. Rochester; though\nthe begrimed face, the disordered dress (his coat hanging loose from one\narm, as if it had been almost torn from his back in a scuffle), the\ndesperate and scowling countenance, the rough, bristling hair might well\nhave disguised him.", "As he moved, a chain clanked; to his wrists were\nattached fetters.", "\"Bridewell!\"", "exclaimed Colonel Dent, and the charade was solved.", "A sufficient interval having elapsed for the performers to resume their\nordinary costume, they re-entered the dining-room.", "Mr. Rochester led in\nMiss Ingram; she was complimenting him on his acting.", "\"Do you know,\" said she, \"that, of the three characters, I liked you in\nthe last best?", "Oh, had you but lived a few years earlier, what a gallant\ngentleman-highwayman you would have made!\"", "\"Is all the soot washed from my face?\"", "he asked, turning it towards her.", "\"Alas!", "yes: the more's the pity!", "Nothing could be more becoming to your\ncomplexion than that ruffian's rouge.\"", "\"You would like a hero of the road then?\"", "\"An English hero of the road would be the next best thing to an Italian\nbandit; and that could only be surpassed by a Levantine pirate.\"", "\"Well, whatever I am, remember you are my wife; we were married an hour\nsince, in the presence of all these witnesses.\"", "She giggled, and her\ncolour rose.", "\"Now, Dent,\" continued Mr. Rochester, \"it is your turn.\"", "And as the\nother party withdrew, he and his band took the vacated seats.", "Miss\nIngram placed herself at her leader's right hand; the other diviners\nfilled the chairs on each side of him and her.", "I did not now watch the\nactors; I no longer waited with interest for the curtain to rise; my\nattention was absorbed by the spectators; my eyes, erewhile fixed on the\narch, were now irresistibly attracted to the semicircle of chairs.", "What\ncharade Colonel Dent and his party played, what word they chose, how they\nacquitted themselves, I no longer remember; but I still see the\nconsultation which followed each scene: I see Mr. Rochester turn to Miss\nIngram, and Miss Ingram to him; I see her incline her head towards him,\ntill the jetty curls almost touch his shoulder and wave against his\ncheek; I hear their mutual whisperings; I recall their interchanged\nglances; and something even of the feeling roused by the spectacle\nreturns in memory at this moment.", "I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr. Rochester: I could\nnot unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice\nme--because I might pass hours in his presence, and he would never once\nturn his eyes in my direction--because I saw all his attentions\nappropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her\nrobes as she passed; who, if ever her dark and imperious eye fell on me\nby chance, would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to\nmerit observation.", "I could not unlove him, because I felt sure he would\nsoon marry this very lady--because I read daily in her a proud security\nin his intentions respecting her--because I witnessed hourly in him a\nstyle of courtship which, if careless and choosing rather to be sought\nthan to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness, captivating, and in its\nvery pride, irresistible.", "There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances, though\nmuch to create despair.", "Much too, you will think, reader, to engender\njealousy: if a woman, in my position, could presume to be jealous of a\nwoman in Miss Ingram's.", "But I was not jealous: or very rarely;--the\nnature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that word.", "Miss\nIngram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the\nfeeling.", "Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean what I say.", "She was very\nshowy, but she was not genuine: she had a fine person, many brilliant\nattainments; but her mind was poor, her heart barren by nature: nothing\nbloomed spontaneously on that soil; no unforced natural fruit delighted\nby its freshness.", "She was not good; she was not original: she used to\nrepeat sounding phrases from books: she never offered, nor had, an\nopinion of her own.", "She advocated a high tone of sentiment; but she did\nnot know the sensations of sympathy and pity; tenderness and truth were\nnot in her.", "Too often she betrayed this, by the undue vent she gave to a\nspiteful antipathy she had conceived against little Adele: pushing her\naway with some contumelious epithet if she happened to approach her;\nsometimes ordering her from the room, and always treating her with\ncoldness and acrimony.", "Other eyes besides mine watched these\nmanifestations of character--watched them closely, keenly, shrewdly.", "Yes;\nthe future bridegroom, Mr. Rochester himself, exercised over his intended\na ceaseless surveillance; and it was from this sagacity--this guardedness\nof his--this perfect, clear consciousness of his fair one's defects--this\nobvious absence of passion in his sentiments towards her, that my ever-\ntorturing pain arose.", "I saw he was going to marry her, for family, perhaps political reasons,\nbecause her rank and connections suited him; I felt he had not given her\nhis love, and that her qualifications were ill adapted to win from him\nthat treasure.", "This was the point--this was where the nerve was touched\nand teased--this was where the fever was sustained and fed: _she could\nnot charm him_.", "If she had managed the victory at once, and he had yielded and sincerely\nlaid his heart at her feet, I should have covered my face, turned to the\nwall, and (figuratively) have died to them.", "If Miss Ingram had been a\ngood and noble woman, endowed with force, fervour, kindness, sense, I\nshould have had one vital struggle with two tigers--jealousy and despair:\nthen, my heart torn out and devoured, I should have admired\nher--acknowledged her excellence, and been quiet for the rest of my days:\nand the more absolute her superiority, the deeper would have been my\nadmiration--the more truly tranquil my quiescence.", "But as matters really\nstood, to watch Miss Ingram's efforts at fascinating Mr. Rochester, to\nwitness their repeated failure--herself unconscious that they did fail;\nvainly fancying that each shaft launched hit the mark, and infatuatedly\npluming herself on success, when her pride and self-complacency repelled\nfurther and further what she wished to allure--to witness _this_, was to\nbe at once under ceaseless excitation and ruthless restraint.", "Because, when she failed, I saw how she might have succeeded.", "Arrows\nthat continually glanced off from Mr. Rochester's breast and fell\nharmless at his feet, might, I knew, if shot by a surer hand, have\nquivered keen in his proud heart--have called love into his stern eye,\nand softness into his sardonic face; or, better still, without weapons a\nsilent conquest might have been won.", "\"Why can she not influence him more, when she is privileged to draw so\nnear to him?\"", "I asked myself.", "\"Surely she cannot truly like him, or not\nlike him with true affection!", "If she did, she need not coin her smiles\nso lavishly, flash her glances so unremittingly, manufacture airs so\nelaborate, graces so multitudinous.", "It seems to me that she might, by\nmerely sitting quietly at his side, saying little and looking less, get\nnigher his heart.", "I have seen in his face a far different expression\nfrom that which hardens it now while she is so vivaciously accosting him;\nbut then it came of itself: it was not elicited by meretricious arts and\ncalculated manoeuvres; and one had but to accept it--to answer what he\nasked without pretension, to address him when needful without grimace--and\nit increased and grew kinder and more genial, and warmed one like a\nfostering sunbeam.", "How will she manage to please him when they are\nmarried?", "I do not think she will manage it; and yet it might be managed;\nand his wife might, I verily believe, be the very happiest woman the sun\nshines on.\"", "I have not yet said anything condemnatory of Mr. Rochester's project of\nmarrying for interest and connections.", "It surprised me when I first\ndiscovered that such was his intention: I had thought him a man unlikely\nto be influenced by motives so commonplace in his choice of a wife; but\nthe longer I considered the position, education, &c., of the parties, the\nless I felt justified in judging and blaming either him or Miss Ingram\nfor acting in conformity to ideas and principles instilled into them,\ndoubtless, from their childhood.", "All their class held these principles:\nI supposed, then, they had reasons for holding them such as I could not\nfathom.", "It seemed to me that, were I a gentleman like him, I would take\nto my bosom only such a wife as I could love; but the very obviousness of\nthe advantages to the husband's own happiness offered by this plan\nconvinced me that there must be arguments against its general adoption of\nwhich I was quite ignorant: otherwise I felt sure all the world would act\nas I wished to act.", "But in other points, as well as this, I was growing very lenient to my\nmaster: I was forgetting all his faults, for which I had once kept a\nsharp look-out.", "It had formerly been my endeavour to study all sides of\nhis character: to take the bad with the good; and from the just weighing\nof both, to form an equitable judgment.", "Now I saw no bad.", "The sarcasm\nthat had repelled, the harshness that had startled me once, were only\nlike keen condiments in a choice dish: their presence was pungent, but\ntheir absence would be felt as comparatively insipid.", "And as for the\nvague something--was it a sinister or a sorrowful, a designing or a\ndesponding expression?--that opened upon a careful observer, now and\nthen, in his eye, and closed again before one could fathom the strange\ndepth partially disclosed; that something which used to make me fear and\nshrink, as if I had been wandering amongst volcanic-looking hills, and\nhad suddenly felt the ground quiver and seen it gape: that something, I,\nat intervals, beheld still; and with throbbing heart, but not with\npalsied nerves.", "Instead of wishing to shun, I longed only to dare--to\ndivine it; and I thought Miss Ingram happy, because one day she might\nlook into the abyss at her leisure, explore its secrets and analyse their\nnature.", "Meantime, while I thought only of my master and his future bride--saw\nonly them, heard only their discourse, and considered only their\nmovements of importance--the rest of the party were occupied with their\nown separate interests and pleasures.", "The Ladies Lynn and Ingram\ncontinued to consort in solemn conferences, where they nodded their two\nturbans at each other, and held up their four hands in confronting\ngestures of surprise, or mystery, or horror, according to the theme on\nwhich their gossip ran, like a pair of magnified puppets.", "Mild Mrs. Dent\ntalked with good-natured Mrs. Eshton; and the two sometimes bestowed a\ncourteous word or smile on me.", "Sir George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and Mr.\nEshton discussed politics, or county affairs, or justice business.", "Lord\nIngram flirted with Amy Eshton; Louisa played and sang to and with one of\nthe Messrs. Lynn; and Mary Ingram listened languidly to the gallant\nspeeches of the other.", "Sometimes all, as with one consent, suspended\ntheir by-play to observe and listen to the principal actors: for, after\nall, Mr. Rochester and--because closely connected with him--Miss Ingram\nwere the life and soul of the party.", "If he was absent from the room an\nhour, a perceptible dulness seemed to steal over the spirits of his\nguests; and his re-entrance was sure to give a fresh impulse to the\nvivacity of conversation.", "The want of his animating influence appeared to be peculiarly felt one\nday that he had been summoned to Millcote on business, and was not likely\nto return till late.", "The afternoon was wet: a walk the party had\nproposed to take to see a gipsy camp, lately pitched on a common beyond\nHay, was consequently deferred.", "Some of the gentlemen were gone to the\nstables: the younger ones, together with the younger ladies, were playing\nbilliards in the billiard-room.", "The dowagers Ingram and Lynn sought\nsolace in a quiet game at cards.", "Blanche Ingram, after having repelled,\nby supercilious taciturnity, some efforts of Mrs. Dent and Mrs. Eshton to\ndraw her into conversation, had first murmured over some sentimental\ntunes and airs on the piano, and then, having fetched a novel from the\nlibrary, had flung herself in haughty listlessness on a sofa, and\nprepared to beguile, by the spell of fiction, the tedious hours of\nabsence.", "The room and the house were silent: only now and then the\nmerriment of the billiard-players was heard from above.", "It was verging on dusk, and the clock had already given warning of the\nhour to dress for dinner, when little Adele, who knelt by me in the\ndrawing-room window-seat, suddenly exclaimed--\n\n\"Voila, Monsieur Rochester, qui revient!\"", "I turned, and Miss Ingram darted forwards from her sofa: the others, too,\nlooked up from their several occupations; for at the same time a\ncrunching of wheels and a splashing tramp of horse-hoofs became audible\non the wet gravel.", "A post-chaise was approaching.", "\"What can possess him to come home in that style?\"", "said Miss Ingram.", "\"He\nrode Mesrour (the black horse), did he not, when he went out?", "and Pilot\nwas with him:--what has he done with the animals?\"", "As she said this, she approached her tall person and ample garments so\nnear the window, that I was obliged to bend back almost to the breaking\nof my spine: in her eagerness she did not observe me at first, but when\nshe did, she curled her lip and moved to another casement.", "The\npost-chaise stopped; the driver rang the door-bell, and a gentleman\nalighted attired in travelling garb; but it was not Mr. Rochester; it was\na tall, fashionable-looking man, a stranger.", "\"How provoking!\"", "exclaimed Miss Ingram: \"you tiresome monkey!\"", "(apostrophising Adele), \"who perched you up in the window to give false\nintelligence?\"", "and she cast on me an angry glance, as if I were in fault.", "Some parleying was audible in the hall, and soon the new-comer entered.", "He bowed to Lady Ingram, as deeming her the eldest lady present.", "\"It appears I come at an inopportune time, madam,\" said he, \"when my\nfriend, Mr. Rochester, is from home; but I arrive from a very long\njourney, and I think I may presume so far on old and intimate\nacquaintance as to instal myself here till he returns.\"", "His manner was polite; his accent, in speaking, struck me as being\nsomewhat unusual,--not precisely foreign, but still not altogether\nEnglish: his age might be about Mr. Rochester's,--between thirty and\nforty; his complexion was singularly sallow: otherwise he was a\nfine-looking man, at first sight especially.", "On closer examination, you\ndetected something in his face that displeased, or rather that failed to\nplease.", "His features were regular, but too relaxed: his eye was large\nand well cut, but the life looking out of it was a tame, vacant life--at\nleast so I thought.", "The sound of the dressing-bell dispersed the party.", "It was not till\nafter dinner that I saw him again: he then seemed quite at his ease.", "But\nI liked his physiognomy even less than before: it struck me as being at\nthe same time unsettled and inanimate.", "His eye wandered, and had no\nmeaning in its wandering: this gave him an odd look, such as I never\nremembered to have seen.", "For a handsome and not an unamiable-looking\nman, he repelled me exceedingly: there was no power in that\nsmooth-skinned face of a full oval shape: no firmness in that aquiline\nnose and small cherry mouth; there was no thought on the low, even\nforehead; no command in that blank, brown eye.", "As I sat in my usual nook, and looked at him with the light of the\ngirandoles on the mantelpiece beaming full over him--for he occupied an\narm-chair drawn close to the fire, and kept shrinking still nearer, as if\nhe were cold, I compared him with Mr. Rochester.", "I think (with deference\nbe it spoken) the contrast could not be much greater between a sleek\ngander and a fierce falcon: between a meek sheep and the rough-coated\nkeen-eyed dog, its guardian.", "He had spoken of Mr. Rochester as an old friend.", "A curious friendship\ntheirs must have been: a pointed illustration, indeed, of the old adage\nthat \"extremes meet.\"", "Two or three of the gentlemen sat near him, and I caught at times scraps\nof their conversation across the room.", "At first I could not make much\nsense of what I heard; for the discourse of Louisa Eshton and Mary\nIngram, who sat nearer to me, confused the fragmentary sentences that\nreached me at intervals.", "These last were discussing the stranger; they\nboth called him \"a beautiful man.\"", "Louisa said he was \"a love of a\ncreature,\" and she \"adored him;\" and Mary instanced his \"pretty little\nmouth, and nice nose,\" as her ideal of the charming.", "\"And what a sweet-tempered forehead he has!\"", "cried Louisa,--\"so\nsmooth--none of those frowning irregularities I dislike so much; and such\na placid eye and smile!\"", "And then, to my great relief, Mr. Henry Lynn summoned them to the other\nside of the room, to settle some point about the deferred excursion to\nHay Common.", "I was now able to concentrate my attention on the group by the fire, and\nI presently gathered that the new-comer was called Mr. Mason; then I\nlearned that he was but just arrived in England, and that he came from\nsome hot country: which was the reason, doubtless, his face was so\nsallow, and that he sat so near the hearth, and wore a surtout in the\nhouse.", "Presently the words Jamaica, Kingston, Spanish Town, indicated\nthe West Indies as his residence; and it was with no little surprise I\ngathered, ere long, that he had there first seen and become acquainted\nwith Mr. Rochester.", "He spoke of his friend's dislike of the burning\nheats, the hurricanes, and rainy seasons of that region.", "I knew Mr.\nRochester had been a traveller: Mrs. Fairfax had said so; but I thought\nthe continent of Europe had bounded his wanderings; till now I had never\nheard a hint given of visits to more distant shores.", "I was pondering these things, when an incident, and a somewhat unexpected\none, broke the thread of my musings.", "Mr. Mason, shivering as some one\nchanced to open the door, asked for more coal to be put on the fire,\nwhich had burnt out its flame, though its mass of cinder still shone hot\nand red.", "The footman who brought the coal, in going out, stopped near\nMr. Eshton's chair, and said something to him in a low voice, of which I\nheard only the words, \"old woman,\"--\"quite troublesome.\"", "\"Tell her she shall be put in the stocks if she does not take herself\noff,\" replied the magistrate.", "\"No--stop!\"", "interrupted Colonel Dent.", "\"Don't send her away, Eshton; we\nmight turn the thing to account; better consult the ladies.\"", "And\nspeaking aloud, he continued--\"Ladies, you talked of going to Hay Common\nto visit the gipsy camp; Sam here says that one of the old Mother Bunches\nis in the servants' hall at this moment, and insists upon being brought\nin before 'the quality,' to tell them their fortunes.", "Would you like to\nsee her?\"", "\"Surely, colonel,\" cried Lady Ingram, \"you would not encourage such a low\nimpostor?", "Dismiss her, by all means, at once!\"", "\"But I cannot persuade her to go away, my lady,\" said the footman; \"nor\ncan any of the servants: Mrs. Fairfax is with her just now, entreating\nher to be gone; but she has taken a chair in the chimney-corner, and says\nnothing shall stir her from it till she gets leave to come in here.\"", "\"What does she want?\"", "asked Mrs. Eshton.", "\"'To tell the gentry their fortunes,' she says, ma'am; and she swears she\nmust and will do it.\"", "\"What is she like?\"", "inquired the Misses Eshton, in a breath.", "\"A shockingly ugly old creature, miss; almost as black as a crock.\"", "\"Why, she's a real sorceress!\"", "cried Frederick Lynn.", "\"Let us have her\nin, of course.\"", "\"To be sure,\" rejoined his brother; \"it would be a thousand pities to\nthrow away such a chance of fun.\"", "\"My dear boys, what are you thinking about?\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Lynn.", "\"I cannot possibly countenance any such inconsistent proceeding,\" chimed\nin the Dowager Ingram.", "\"Indeed, mama, but you can--and will,\" pronounced the haughty voice of\nBlanche, as she turned round on the piano-stool; where till now she had\nsat silent, apparently examining sundry sheets of music.", "\"I have a\ncuriosity to hear my fortune told: therefore, Sam, order the beldame\nforward.\"", "\"My darling Blanche!", "recollect--\"\n\n\"I do--I recollect all you can suggest; and I must have my will--quick,\nSam!\"", "\"Yes--yes--yes!\"", "cried all the juveniles, both ladies and gentlemen.", "\"Let\nher come--it will be excellent sport!\"", "The footman still lingered.", "\"She looks such a rough one,\" said he.", "\"Go!\"", "ejaculated Miss Ingram, and the man went.", "Excitement instantly seized the whole party: a running fire of raillery\nand jests was proceeding when Sam returned.", "\"She won't come now,\" said he.", "\"She says it's not her mission to appear\nbefore the 'vulgar herd' (them's her words).", "I must show her into a room\nby herself, and then those who wish to consult her must go to her one by\none.\"", "\"You see now, my queenly Blanche,\" began Lady Ingram, \"she encroaches.", "Be\nadvised, my angel girl--and--\"\n\n\"Show her into the library, of course,\" cut in the \"angel girl.\"", "\"It is\nnot my mission to listen to her before the vulgar herd either: I mean to\nhave her all to myself.", "Is there a fire in the library?\"", "\"Yes, ma'am--but she looks such a tinkler.\"", "\"Cease that chatter, blockhead!", "and do my bidding.\"", "Again Sam vanished; and mystery, animation, expectation rose to full flow\nonce more.", "\"She's ready now,\" said the footman, as he reappeared.", "\"She wishes to\nknow who will be her first visitor.\"", "\"I think I had better just look in upon her before any of the ladies go,\"\nsaid Colonel Dent.", "\"Tell her, Sam, a gentleman is coming.\"", "Sam went and returned.", "\"She says, sir, that she'll have no gentlemen; they need not trouble\nthemselves to come near her; nor,\" he added, with difficulty suppressing\na titter, \"any ladies either, except the young, and single.\"", "\"By Jove, she has taste!\"", "exclaimed Henry Lynn.", "Miss Ingram rose solemnly: \"I go first,\" she said, in a tone which might\nhave befitted the leader of a forlorn hope, mounting a breach in the van\nof his men.", "\"Oh, my best!", "oh, my dearest!", "pause--reflect!\"", "was her mama's cry; but\nshe swept past her in stately silence, passed through the door which\nColonel Dent held open, and we heard her enter the library.", "A comparative silence ensued.", "Lady Ingram thought it \"le cas\" to wring\nher hands: which she did accordingly.", "Miss Mary declared she felt, for\nher part, she never dared venture.", "Amy and Louisa Eshton tittered under\ntheir breath, and looked a little frightened.", "The minutes passed very slowly: fifteen were counted before the library-\ndoor again opened.", "Miss Ingram returned to us through the arch.", "Would she laugh?", "Would she take it as a joke?", "All eyes met her with a\nglance of eager curiosity, and she met all eyes with one of rebuff and\ncoldness; she looked neither flurried nor merry: she walked stiffly to\nher seat, and took it in silence.", "\"Well, Blanche?\"", "said Lord Ingram.", "\"What did she say, sister?\"", "asked Mary.", "\"What did you think?", "How do you feel?--Is she a real fortune-teller?\"", "demanded the Misses Eshton.", "\"Now, now, good people,\" returned Miss Ingram, \"don't press upon me.", "Really your organs of wonder and credulity are easily excited: you seem,\nby the importance of you all--my good mama included--ascribe to this\nmatter, absolutely to believe we have a genuine witch in the house, who\nis in close alliance with the old gentleman.", "I have seen a gipsy\nvagabond; she has practised in hackneyed fashion the science of palmistry\nand told me what such people usually tell.", "My whim is gratified; and now\nI think Mr. Eshton will do well to put the hag in the stocks to-morrow\nmorning, as he threatened.\"", "Miss Ingram took a book, leant back in her chair, and so declined further\nconversation.", "I watched her for nearly half-an-hour: during all that\ntime she never turned a page, and her face grew momently darker, more\ndissatisfied, and more sourly expressive of disappointment.", "She had\nobviously not heard anything to her advantage: and it seemed to me, from\nher prolonged fit of gloom and taciturnity, that she herself,\nnotwithstanding her professed indifference, attached undue importance to\nwhatever revelations had been made her.", "{During all that time she never turned a page: p184.jpg}\n\nMeantime, Mary Ingram, Amy and Louisa Eshton, declared they dared not go\nalone; and yet they all wished to go.", "A negotiation was opened through\nthe medium of the ambassador, Sam; and after much pacing to and fro,\ntill, I think, the said Sam's calves must have ached with the exercise,\npermission was at last, with great difficulty, extorted from the rigorous\nSibyl, for the three to wait upon her in a body.", "Their visit was not so still as Miss Ingram's had been: we heard\nhysterical giggling and little shrieks proceeding from the library; and\nat the end of about twenty minutes they burst the door open, and came\nrunning across the hall, as if they were half-scared out of their wits.", "\"I am sure she is something not right!\"", "they cried, one and all.", "\"She\ntold us such things!", "She knows all about us!\"", "and they sank breathless\ninto the various seats the gentlemen hastened to bring them.", "Pressed for further explanation, they declared she had told them of\nthings they had said and done when they were mere children; described\nbooks and ornaments they had in their boudoirs at home: keepsakes that\ndifferent relations had presented to them.", "They affirmed that she had\neven divined their thoughts, and had whispered in the ear of each the\nname of the person she liked best in the world, and informed them of what\nthey most wished for.", "Here the gentlemen interposed with earnest petitions to be further\nenlightened on these two last-named points; but they got only blushes,\nejaculations, tremors, and titters, in return for their importunity.", "The\nmatrons, meantime, offered vinaigrettes and wielded fans; and again and\nagain reiterated the expression of their concern that their warning had\nnot been taken in time; and the elder gentlemen laughed, and the younger\nurged their services on the agitated fair ones.", "In the midst of the tumult, and while my eyes and ears were fully engaged\nin the scene before me, I heard a hem close at my elbow: I turned, and\nsaw Sam.", "\"If you please, miss, the gipsy declares that there is another young\nsingle lady in the room who has not been to her yet, and she swears she\nwill not go till she has seen all.", "I thought it must be you: there is no\none else for it.", "What shall I tell her?\"", "\"Oh, I will go by all means,\" I answered: and I was glad of the\nunexpected opportunity to gratify my much-excited curiosity.", "I slipped\nout of the room, unobserved by any eye--for the company were gathered in\none mass about the trembling trio just returned--and I closed the door\nquietly behind me.", "\"If you like, miss,\" said Sam, \"I'll wait in the hall for you; and if she\nfrightens you, just call and I'll come in.\"", "\"No, Sam, return to the kitchen: I am not in the least afraid.\"", "Nor was\nI; but I was a good deal interested and excited.", "The library looked tranquil enough as I entered it, and the Sibyl--if\nSibyl she were--was seated snugly enough in an easy-chair at the chimney-\ncorner.", "She had on a red cloak and a black bonnet: or rather, a broad-\nbrimmed gipsy hat, tied down with a striped handkerchief under her chin.", "An extinguished candle stood on the table; she was bending over the fire,\nand seemed reading in a little black book, like a prayer-book, by the\nlight of the blaze: she muttered the words to herself, as most old women\ndo, while she read; she did not desist immediately on my entrance: it\nappeared she wished to finish a paragraph.", "I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which were rather cold with\nsitting at a distance from the drawing-room fire.", "I felt now as composed\nas ever I did in my life: there was nothing indeed in the gipsy's\nappearance to trouble one's calm.", "She shut her book and slowly looked\nup; her hat-brim partially shaded her face, yet I could see, as she\nraised it, that it was a strange one.", "It looked all brown and black: elf-\nlocks bristled out from beneath a white band which passed under her chin,\nand came half over her cheeks, or rather jaws: her eye confronted me at\nonce, with a bold and direct gaze.", "\"Well, and you want your fortune told?\"", "she said, in a voice as decided\nas her glance, as harsh as her features.", "\"I don't care about it, mother; you may please yourself: but I ought to\nwarn you, I have no faith.\"", "\"It's like your impudence to say so: I expected it of you; I heard it in\nyour step as you crossed the threshold.\"", "\"Did you?", "You've a quick ear.\"", "\"I have; and a quick eye and a quick brain.\"", "\"You need them all in your trade.\"", "\"I do; especially when I've customers like you to deal with.", "Why don't\nyou tremble?\"", "\"I'm not cold.\"", "\"Why don't you turn pale?\"", "\"I am not sick.\"", "\"Why don't you consult my art?\"", "\"I'm not silly.\"", "The old crone \"nichered\" a laugh under her bonnet and bandage; she then\ndrew out a short black pipe, and lighting it began to smoke.", "Having\nindulged a while in this sedative, she raised her bent body, took the\npipe from her lips, and while gazing steadily at the fire, said very\ndeliberately--\"You are cold; you are sick; and you are silly.\"", "\"Prove it,\" I rejoined.", "\"I will, in few words.", "You are cold, because you are alone: no contact\nstrikes the fire from you that is in you.", "You are sick; because the best\nof feelings, the highest and the sweetest given to man, keeps far away\nfrom you.", "You are silly, because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon\nit to approach, nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits\nyou.\"", "She again put her short black pipe to her lips, and renewed her smoking\nwith vigour.", "\"You might say all that to almost any one who you knew lived as a\nsolitary dependent in a great house.\"", "\"I might say it to almost any one: but would it be true of almost any\none?\"", "\"In my circumstances.\"", "\"Yes; just so, in _your_ circumstances: but find me another precisely\nplaced as you are.\"", "\"It would be easy to find you thousands.\"", "\"You could scarcely find me one.", "If you knew it, you are peculiarly\nsituated: very near happiness; yes, within reach of it.", "The materials\nare all prepared; there only wants a movement to combine them.", "Chance\nlaid them somewhat apart; let them be once approached and bliss results.\"", "\"I don't understand enigmas.", "I never could guess a riddle in my life.\"", "\"If you wish me to speak more plainly, show me your palm.\"", "\"And I must cross it with silver, I suppose?\"", "\"To be sure.\"", "I gave her a shilling: she put it into an old stocking-foot which she\ntook out of her pocket, and having tied it round and returned it, she\ntold me to hold out my hand.", "I did.", "She approached her face to the\npalm, and pored over it without touching it.", "\"It is too fine,\" said she.", "\"I can make nothing of such a hand as that;\nalmost without lines: besides, what is in a palm?", "Destiny is not written\nthere.\"", "\"I believe you,\" said I.", "\"No,\" she continued, \"it is in the face: on the forehead, about the eyes,\nin the lines of the mouth.", "Kneel, and lift up your head.\"", "\"Ah!", "now you are coming to reality,\" I said, as I obeyed her.", "\"I shall\nbegin to put some faith in you presently.\"", "I knelt within half a yard of her.", "She stirred the fire, so that a\nripple of light broke from the disturbed coal: the glare, however, as she\nsat, only threw her face into deeper shadow: mine, it illumined.", "\"I wonder with what feelings you came to me to-night,\" she said, when she\nhad examined me a while.", "\"I wonder what thoughts are busy in your heart\nduring all the hours you sit in yonder room with the fine people flitting\nbefore you like shapes in a magic-lantern: just as little sympathetic\ncommunion passing between you and them as if they were really mere\nshadows of human forms, and not the actual substance.\"", "\"I feel tired often, sleepy sometimes, but seldom sad.\"", "\"Then you have some secret hope to buoy you up and please you with\nwhispers of the future?\"", "\"Not I.", "The utmost I hope is, to save money enough out of my earnings to\nset up a school some day in a little house rented by myself.\"", "\"A mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on: and sitting in that window-\nseat (you see I know your habits )--\"\n\n\"You have learned them from the servants.\"", "\"Ah!", "you think yourself sharp.", "Well, perhaps I have: to speak truth, I\nhave an acquaintance with one of them, Mrs. Poole--\"\n\nI started to my feet when I heard the name.", "\"You have--have you?\"", "thought I; \"there is diablerie in the business\nafter all, then!\"", "\"Don't be alarmed,\" continued the strange being; \"she's a safe hand is\nMrs. Poole: close and quiet; any one may repose confidence in her.", "But,\nas I was saying: sitting in that window-seat, do you think of nothing but\nyour future school?", "Have you no present interest in any of the company\nwho occupy the sofas and chairs before you?", "Is there not one face you\nstudy?", "one figure whose movements you follow with at least curiosity?\"", "\"I like to observe all the faces and all the figures.\"", "\"But do you never single one from the rest--or it may be, two?\"", "\"I do frequently; when the gestures or looks of a pair seem telling a\ntale: it amuses me to watch them.\"", "\"What tale do you like best to hear?\"", "\"Oh, I have not much choice!", "They generally run on the same\ntheme--courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe--marriage.\"", "\"And do you like that monotonous theme?\"", "\"Positively, I don't care about it: it is nothing to me.\"", "\"Nothing to you?", "When a lady, young and full of life and health,\ncharming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and fortune, sits\nand smiles in the eyes of a gentleman you--\"\n\n\"I what?\"", "\"You know--and perhaps think well of.\"", "\"I don't know the gentlemen here.", "I have scarcely interchanged a\nsyllable with one of them; and as to thinking well of them, I consider\nsome respectable, and stately, and middle-aged, and others young,\ndashing, handsome, and lively: but certainly they are all at liberty to\nbe the recipients of whose smiles they please, without my feeling\ndisposed to consider the transaction of any moment to me.\"", "\"You don't know the gentlemen here?", "You have not exchanged a syllable\nwith one of them?", "Will you say that of the master of the house!\"", "\"He is not at home.\"", "\"A profound remark!", "A most ingenious quibble!", "He went to Millcote this\nmorning, and will be back here to-night or to-morrow: does that\ncircumstance exclude him from the list of your acquaintance--blot him, as\nit were, out of existence?\"", "\"No; but I can scarcely see what Mr. Rochester has to do with the theme\nyou had introduced.\"", "\"I was talking of ladies smiling in the eyes of gentlemen; and of late so\nmany smiles have been shed into Mr. Rochester's eyes that they overflow\nlike two cups filled above the brim: have you never remarked that?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester has a right to enjoy the society of his guests.\"", "\"No question about his right: but have you never observed that, of all\nthe tales told here about matrimony, Mr. Rochester has been favoured with\nthe most lively and the most continuous?\"", "\"The eagerness of a listener quickens the tongue of a narrator.\"", "I said\nthis rather to myself than to the gipsy, whose strange talk, voice,\nmanner, had by this time wrapped me in a kind of dream.", "One unexpected\nsentence came from her lips after another, till I got involved in a web\nof mystification; and wondered what unseen spirit had been sitting for\nweeks by my heart watching its workings and taking record of every pulse.", "\"Eagerness of a listener!\"", "repeated she: \"yes; Mr. Rochester has sat by\nthe hour, his ear inclined to the fascinating lips that took such delight\nin their task of communicating; and Mr. Rochester was so willing to\nreceive and looked so grateful for the pastime given him; you have\nnoticed this?\"", "\"Grateful!", "I cannot remember detecting gratitude in his face.\"", "\"Detecting!", "You have analysed, then.", "And what did you detect, if not\ngratitude?\"", "I said nothing.", "\"You have seen love: have you not?--and, looking forward, you have seen\nhim married, and beheld his bride happy?\"", "\"Humph!", "Not exactly.", "Your witch's skill is rather at fault sometimes.\"", "\"What the devil have you seen, then?\"", "\"Never mind: I came here to inquire, not to confess.", "Is it known that\nMr. Rochester is to be married?\"", "\"Yes; and to the beautiful Miss Ingram.\"", "\"Shortly?\"", "\"Appearances would warrant that conclusion: and, no doubt (though, with\nan audacity that wants chastising out of you, you seem to question it),\nthey will be a superlatively happy pair.", "He must love such a handsome,\nnoble, witty, accomplished lady; and probably she loves him, or, if not\nhis person, at least his purse.", "I know she considers the Rochester\nestate eligible to the last degree; though (God pardon me!)", "I told her\nsomething on that point about an hour ago which made her look wondrous\ngrave: the corners of her mouth fell half an inch.", "I would advise her\nblackaviced suitor to look out: if another comes, with a longer or\nclearer rent-roll,--he's dished--\"\n\n\"But, mother, I did not come to hear Mr. Rochester's fortune: I came to\nhear my own; and you have told me nothing of it.\"", "\"Your fortune is yet doubtful: when I examined your face, one trait\ncontradicted another.", "Chance has meted you a measure of happiness: that\nI know.", "I knew it before I came here this evening.", "She has laid it\ncarefully on one side for you.", "I saw her do it.", "It depends on yourself\nto stretch out your hand, and take it up: but whether you will do so, is\nthe problem I study.", "Kneel again on the rug.\"", "\"Don't keep me long; the fire scorches me.\"", "{She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in her chair:\np190.jpg}\n\nI knelt.", "She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in\nher chair.", "She began muttering,--\n\n\"The flame flickers in the eye; the eye shines like dew; it looks soft\nand full of feeling; it smiles at my jargon: it is susceptible;\nimpression follows impression through its clear sphere; where it ceases\nto smile, it is sad; an unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid: that\nsignifies melancholy resulting from loneliness.", "It turns from me; it\nwill not suffer further scrutiny; it seems to deny, by a mocking glance,\nthe truth of the discoveries I have already made,--to disown the charge\nboth of sensibility and chagrin: its pride and reserve only confirm me in\nmy opinion.", "The eye is favourable.", "\"As to the mouth, it delights at times in laughter; it is disposed to\nimpart all that the brain conceives; though I daresay it would be silent\non much the heart experiences.", "Mobile and flexible, it was never\nintended to be compressed in the eternal silence of solitude: it is a\nmouth which should speak much and smile often, and have human affection\nfor its interlocutor.", "That feature too is propitious.", "\"I see no enemy to a fortunate issue but in the brow; and that brow\nprofesses to say,--'I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances\nrequire me so to do.", "I need not sell my soul to buy bliss.", "I have an\ninward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous\ndelights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford\nto give.'", "The forehead declares, 'Reason sits firm and holds the reins,\nand she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to wild\nchasms.", "The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they\nare; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things: but judgment\nshall still have the last word in every argument, and the casting vote in\nevery decision.", "Strong wind, earthquake-shock, and fire may pass by: but\nI shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which interprets the\ndictates of conscience.'", "\"Well said, forehead; your declaration shall be respected.", "I have formed\nmy plans--right plans I deem them--and in them I have attended to the\nclaims of conscience, the counsels of reason.", "I know how soon youth\nwould fade and bloom perish, if, in the cup of bliss offered, but one\ndreg of shame, or one flavour of remorse were detected; and I do not want\nsacrifice, sorrow, dissolution--such is not my taste.", "I wish to foster,\nnot to blight--to earn gratitude, not to wring tears of blood--no, nor of\nbrine: my harvest must be in smiles, in endearments, in sweet--That will\ndo.", "I think I rave in a kind of exquisite delirium.", "I should wish now\nto protract this moment _ad infinitum_; but I dare not.", "So far I have\ngoverned myself thoroughly.", "I have acted as I inwardly swore I would\nact; but further might try me beyond my strength.", "Rise, Miss Eyre: leave\nme; the play is played out'.\"", "Where was I?", "Did I wake or sleep?", "Had I been dreaming?", "Did I dream\nstill?", "The old woman's voice had changed: her accent, her gesture, and\nall were familiar to me as my own face in a glass--as the speech of my\nown tongue.", "I got up, but did not go.", "I looked; I stirred the fire, and\nI looked again: but she drew her bonnet and her bandage closer about her\nface, and again beckoned me to depart.", "The flame illuminated her hand\nstretched out: roused now, and on the alert for discoveries, I at once\nnoticed that hand.", "It was no more the withered limb of eld than my own;\nit was a rounded supple member, with smooth fingers, symmetrically\nturned; a broad ring flashed on the little finger, and stooping forward,\nI looked at it, and saw a gem I had seen a hundred times before.", "Again I\nlooked at the face; which was no longer turned from me--on the contrary,\nthe bonnet was doffed, the bandage displaced, the head advanced.", "\"Well, Jane, do you know me?\"", "asked the familiar voice.", "\"Only take off the red cloak, sir, and then--\"\n\n\"But the string is in a knot--help me.\"", "\"Break it, sir.\"", "\"There, then--'Off, ye lendings!'\"", "And Mr. Rochester stepped out of his\ndisguise.", "\"Now, sir, what a strange idea!\"", "\"But well carried out, eh?", "Don't you think so?\"", "\"With the ladies you must have managed well.\"", "\"But not with you?\"", "\"You did not act the character of a gipsy with me.\"", "\"What character did I act?", "My own?\"", "\"No; some unaccountable one.", "In short, I believe you have been trying to\ndraw me out--or in; you have been talking nonsense to make me talk\nnonsense.", "It is scarcely fair, sir.\"", "\"Do you forgive me, Jane?\"", "\"I cannot tell till I have thought it all over.", "If, on reflection, I\nfind I have fallen into no great absurdity, I shall try to forgive you;\nbut it was not right.\"", "\"Oh, you have been very correct--very careful, very sensible.\"", "I reflected, and thought, on the whole, I had.", "It was a comfort; but,\nindeed, I had been on my guard almost from the beginning of the\ninterview.", "Something of masquerade I suspected.", "I knew gipsies and\nfortune-tellers did not express themselves as this seeming old woman had\nexpressed herself; besides I had noted her feigned voice, her anxiety to\nconceal her features.", "But my mind had been running on Grace Poole--that\nliving enigma, that mystery of mysteries, as I considered her.", "I had\nnever thought of Mr. Rochester.", "\"Well,\" said he, \"what are you musing about?", "What does that grave smile\nsignify?\"", "\"Wonder and self-congratulation, sir.", "I have your permission to retire\nnow, I suppose?\"", "\"No; stay a moment; and tell me what the people in the drawing-room\nyonder are doing.\"", "\"Discussing the gipsy, I daresay.\"", "\"Sit down!--Let me hear what they said about me.\"", "\"I had better not stay long, sir; it must be near eleven o'clock.", "Oh,\nare you aware, Mr. Rochester, that a stranger has arrived here since you\nleft this morning?\"", "\"A stranger!--no; who can it be?", "I expected no one; is he gone?\"", "\"No; he said he had known you long, and that he could take the liberty of\ninstalling himself here till you returned.\"", "\"The devil he did!", "Did he give his name?\"", "\"His name is Mason, sir; and he comes from the West Indies; from Spanish\nTown, in Jamaica, I think.\"", "Mr. Rochester was standing near me; he had taken my hand, as if to lead\nme to a chair.", "As I spoke he gave my wrist a convulsive grip; the smile\non his lips froze: apparently a spasm caught his breath.", "\"Mason!--the West Indies!\"", "he said, in the tone one might fancy a\nspeaking automaton to enounce its single words; \"Mason!--the West\nIndies!\"", "he reiterated; and he went over the syllables three times,\ngrowing, in the intervals of speaking, whiter than ashes: he hardly\nseemed to know what he was doing.", "\"Do you feel ill, sir?\"", "I inquired.", "\"Jane, I've got a blow; I've got a blow, Jane!\"", "He staggered.", "\"Oh, lean on me, sir.\"", "\"Jane, you offered me your shoulder once before; let me have it now.\"", "\"Yes, sir, yes; and my arm.\"", "He sat down, and made me sit beside him.", "Holding my hand in both his\nown, he chafed it; gazing on me, at the same time, with the most troubled\nand dreary look.", "\"My little friend!\"", "said he, \"I wish I were in a quiet island with only\nyou; and trouble, and danger, and hideous recollections removed from me.\"", "\"Can I help you, sir?--I'd give my life to serve you.\"", "\"Jane, if aid is wanted, I'll seek it at your hands; I promise you that.\"", "\"Thank you, sir.", "Tell me what to do,--I'll try, at least, to do it.\"", "\"Fetch me now, Jane, a glass of wine from the dining-room: they will be\nat supper there; and tell me if Mason is with them, and what he is\ndoing.\"", "I went.", "I found all the party in the dining-room at supper, as Mr.\nRochester had said; they were not seated at table,--the supper was\narranged on the sideboard; each had taken what he chose, and they stood\nabout here and there in groups, their plates and glasses in their hands.", "Every one seemed in high glee; laughter and conversation were general and\nanimated.", "Mr. Mason stood near the fire, talking to Colonel and Mrs.\nDent, and appeared as merry as any of them.", "I filled a wine-glass (I saw\nMiss Ingram watch me frowningly as I did so: she thought I was taking a\nliberty, I daresay), and I returned to the library.", "Mr. Rochester's extreme pallor had disappeared, and he looked once more\nfirm and stern.", "He took the glass from my hand.", "\"Here is to your health, ministrant spirit!\"", "he said.", "He swallowed the\ncontents and returned it to me.", "\"What are they doing, Jane?\"", "\"Laughing and talking, sir.\"", "\"They don't look grave and mysterious, as if they had heard something\nstrange?\"", "\"Not at all: they are full of jests and gaiety.\"", "\"And Mason?\"", "\"He was laughing too.\"", "\"If all these people came in a body and spat at me, what would you do,\nJane?\"", "\"Turn them out of the room, sir, if I could.\"", "He half smiled.", "\"But if I were to go to them, and they only looked at me\ncoldly, and whispered sneeringly amongst each other, and then dropped off\nand left me one by one, what then?", "Would you go with them?\"", "\"I rather think not, sir: I should have more pleasure in staying with\nyou.\"", "\"To comfort me?\"", "\"Yes, sir, to comfort you, as well as I could.\"", "\"And if they laid you under a ban for adhering to me?\"", "\"I, probably, should know nothing about their ban; and if I did, I should\ncare nothing about it.\"", "\"Then, you could dare censure for my sake?\"", "\"I could dare it for the sake of any friend who deserved my adherence; as\nyou, I am sure, do.\"", "\"Go back now into the room; step quietly up to Mason, and whisper in his\near that Mr. Rochester is come and wishes to see him: show him in here\nand then leave me.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "I did his behest.", "The company all stared at me as I passed straight\namong them.", "I sought Mr. Mason, delivered the message, and preceded him\nfrom the room: I ushered him into the library, and then I went upstairs.", "At a late hour, after I had been in bed some time, I heard the visitors\nrepair to their chambers: I distinguished Mr. Rochester's voice, and\nheard him say, \"This way, Mason; this is your room.\"", "He spoke cheerfully: the gay tones set my heart at ease.", "I was soon\nasleep." ]

[ "\"What can possess him to come home in that style?\"", "said Miss Ingram.", "And\nspeaking aloud, he continued--\"Ladies, you talked of going to Hay Common\nto visit the gipsy camp; Sam here says that one of the old Mother Bunches\nis in the servants' hall at this moment, and insists upon being brought\nin before 'the quality,' to tell them their fortunes.", "\"If you wish me to speak more plainly, show me your palm.\"", "\"Ah!", "She stirred the fire, so that a\nripple of light broke from the disturbed coal: the glare, however, as she\nsat, only threw her face into deeper shadow: mine, it illumined.", "\"Never mind: I came here to inquire, not to confess.", "Rise, Miss Eyre: leave\nme; the play is played out'.\"", "He staggered.", "\"I, probably, should know nothing about their ban; and if I did, I should\ncare nothing about it.\"" ]

[ "\"His name is Mason, sir; and he comes from the West Indies; from Spanish\nTown, in Jamaica, I think.\"", "\"I wonder what thoughts are busy in your heart\nduring all the hours you sit in yonder room with the fine people flitting\nbefore you like shapes in a magic-lantern: just as little sympathetic\ncommunion passing between you and them as if they were really mere\nshadows of human forms, and not the actual substance.\"", "But,\nas I was saying: sitting in that window-seat, do you think of nothing but\nyour future school?", "All eyes met her with a\nglance of eager curiosity, and she met all eyes with one of rebuff and\ncoldness; she looked neither flurried nor merry: she walked stiffly to\nher seat, and took it in silence.", "The sound of the dressing-bell dispersed the party.", "\"I do; especially when I've customers like you to deal with.", "Kneel again on the rug.\"", "{She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in her chair:\np190.jpg}\n\nI knelt.", "I think I rave in a kind of exquisite delirium.", "\"If all these people came in a body and spat at me, what would you do,\nJane?\"" ]

[ "I slipped\nout of the room, unobserved by any eye--for the company were gathered in\none mass about the trembling trio just returned--and I closed the door\nquietly behind me.", "\"If you like, miss,\" said Sam, \"I'll wait in the hall for you; and if she\nfrightens you, just call and I'll come in.\"", "\"No, Sam, return to the kitchen: I am not in the least afraid.\"", "Nor was\nI; but I was a good deal interested and excited.", "The library looked tranquil enough as I entered it, and the Sibyl--if\nSibyl she were--was seated snugly enough in an easy-chair at the chimney-\ncorner.", "She had on a red cloak and a black bonnet: or rather, a broad-\nbrimmed gipsy hat, tied down with a striped handkerchief under her chin.", "An extinguished candle stood on the table; she was bending over the fire,\nand seemed reading in a little black book, like a prayer-book, by the\nlight of the blaze: she muttered the words to herself, as most old women\ndo, while she read; she did not desist immediately on my entrance: it\nappeared she wished to finish a paragraph.", "I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which were rather cold with\nsitting at a distance from the drawing-room fire.", "I felt now as composed\nas ever I did in my life: there was nothing indeed in the gipsy's\nappearance to trouble one's calm.", "She shut her book and slowly looked\nup; her hat-brim partially shaded her face, yet I could see, as she\nraised it, that it was a strange one.", "It looked all brown and black: elf-\nlocks bristled out from beneath a white band which passed under her chin,\nand came half over her cheeks, or rather jaws: her eye confronted me at\nonce, with a bold and direct gaze." ]

[ "\n\nMerry days were these at Thornfield Hall; and busy days too: how\ndifferent from the first three months of stillness, monotony, and\nsolitude I had passed beneath its roof!", "All sad feelings seemed now\ndriven from the house, all gloomy associations forgotten: there was life\neverywhere, movement all day long.", "You could not now traverse the\ngallery, once so hushed, nor enter the front chambers, once so\ntenantless, without encountering a smart lady's-maid or a dandy valet.", "The kitchen, the butler's pantry, the servants' hall, the entrance hall,\nwere equally alive; and the saloons were only left void and still when\nthe blue sky and halcyon sunshine of the genial spring weather called\ntheir occupants out into the grounds.", "Even when that weather was broken,\nand continuous rain set in for some days, no damp seemed cast over\nenjoyment: indoor amusements only became more lively and varied, in\nconsequence of the stop put to outdoor gaiety.", "I wondered what they were going to do the first evening a change of\nentertainment was proposed: they spoke of \"playing charades,\" but in my\nignorance I did not understand the term.", "The servants were called in,\nthe dining-room tables wheeled away, the lights otherwise disposed, the\nchairs placed in a semicircle opposite the arch.", "While Mr. Rochester and\nthe other gentlemen directed these alterations, the ladies were running\nup and down stairs ringing for their maids.", "Mrs. Fairfax was summoned to\ngive information respecting the resources of the house in shawls,\ndresses, draperies of any kind; and certain wardrobes of the third storey\nwere ransacked, and their contents, in the shape of brocaded and hooped\npetticoats, satin sacques, black modes, lace lappets, &c., were brought\ndown in armfuls by the abigails; then a selection was made, and such\nthings as were chosen were carried to the boudoir within the\ndrawing-room.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester had again summoned the ladies round him, and was\nselecting certain of their number to be of his party.", "\"Then, you could dare censure for my sake?\"", "\"I could dare it for the sake of any friend who deserved my adherence; as\nyou, I am sure, do.\"", "\"Go back now into the room; step quietly up to Mason, and whisper in his\near that Mr. Rochester is come and wishes to see him: show him in here\nand then leave me.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "I did his behest.", "The company all stared at me as I passed straight\namong them.", "I sought Mr. Mason, delivered the message, and preceded him\nfrom the room: I ushered him into the library, and then I went upstairs.", "At a late hour, after I had been in bed some time, I heard the visitors\nrepair to their chambers: I distinguished Mr. Rochester's voice, and\nheard him say, \"This way, Mason; this is your room.\"", "He spoke cheerfully: the gay tones set my heart at ease.", "I was soon\nasleep." ]

[ "\n\nI had forgotten to draw my curtain, which I usually did, and also to let\ndown my window-blind.", "The consequence was, that when the moon, which was\nfull and bright (for the night was fine), came in her course to that\nspace in the sky opposite my casement, and looked in at me through the\nunveiled panes, her glorious gaze roused me.", "Awaking in the dead of\nnight, I opened my eyes on her disk--silver-white and crystal clear.", "It\nwas beautiful, but too solemn; I half rose, and stretched my arm to draw\nthe curtain.", "Good God!", "What a cry!", "The night--its silence--its rest, was rent in twain by a savage, a sharp,\na shrilly sound that ran from end to end of Thornfield Hall.", "My pulse stopped: my heart stood still; my stretched arm was paralysed.", "The cry died, and was not renewed.", "Indeed, whatever being uttered that\nfearful shriek could not soon repeat it: not the widest-winged condor on\nthe Andes could, twice in succession, send out such a yell from the cloud\nshrouding his eyrie.", "The thing delivering such utterance must rest ere\nit could repeat the effort.", "It came out of the third storey; for it passed overhead.", "And\noverhead--yes, in the room just above my chamber-ceiling--I now heard a\nstruggle: a deadly one it seemed from the noise; and a half-smothered\nvoice shouted--\n\n\"Help!", "help!", "help!\"", "three times rapidly.", "\"Will no one come?\"", "it cried; and then, while the staggering and stamping\nwent on wildly, I distinguished through plank and plaster:--\n\n\"Rochester!", "Rochester!", "for God's sake, come!\"", "A chamber-door opened: some one ran, or rushed, along the gallery.", "Another step stamped on the flooring above and something fell; and there\nwas silence.", "I had put on some clothes, though horror shook all my limbs; I issued\nfrom my apartment.", "The sleepers were all aroused: ejaculations,\nterrified murmurs sounded in every room; door after door unclosed; one\nlooked out and another looked out; the gallery filled.", "Gentlemen and\nladies alike had quitted their beds; and \"Oh!", "what is it?\"", "--\"Who is\nhurt?\"", "--\"What has happened?\"", "--\"Fetch a light!\"", "--\"Is it fire?\"", "--\"Are there\nrobbers?\"", "--\"Where shall we run?\"", "was demanded confusedly on all hands.", "But for the moonlight they would have been in complete darkness.", "They\nran to and fro; they crowded together: some sobbed, some stumbled: the\nconfusion was inextricable.", "\"Where the devil is Rochester?\"", "cried Colonel Dent.", "\"I cannot find him\nin his bed.\"", "\"Here!", "here!\"", "was shouted in return.", "\"Be composed, all of you: I'm\ncoming.\"", "And the door at the end of the gallery opened, and Mr. Rochester advanced\nwith a candle: he had just descended from the upper storey.", "One of the\nladies ran to him directly; she seized his arm: it was Miss Ingram.", "\"What awful event has taken place?\"", "said she.", "\"Speak!", "let us know the\nworst at once!\"", "\"But don't pull me down or strangle me,\" he replied: for the Misses\nEshton were clinging about him now; and the two dowagers, in vast white\nwrappers, were bearing down on him like ships in full sail.", "\"All's right!--all's right!\"", "he cried.", "\"It's a mere rehearsal of Much\nAdo about Nothing.", "Ladies, keep off, or I shall wax dangerous.\"", "And dangerous he looked: his black eyes darted sparks.", "Calming himself\nby an effort, he added--\n\n\"A servant has had the nightmare; that is all.", "She's an excitable,\nnervous person: she construed her dream into an apparition, or something\nof that sort, no doubt; and has taken a fit with fright.", "Now, then, I\nmust see you all back into your rooms; for, till the house is settled,\nshe cannot be looked after.", "Gentlemen, have the goodness to set the\nladies the example.", "Miss Ingram, I am sure you will not fail in evincing\nsuperiority to idle terrors.", "Amy and Louisa, return to your nests like a\npair of doves, as you are.", "Mesdames\" (to the dowagers), \"you will take\ncold to a dead certainty, if you stay in this chill gallery any longer.\"", "And so, by dint of alternate coaxing and commanding, he contrived to get\nthem all once more enclosed in their separate dormitories.", "I did not\nwait to be ordered back to mine, but retreated unnoticed, as unnoticed I\nhad left it.", "Not, however, to go to bed: on the contrary, I began and dressed myself\ncarefully.", "The sounds I had heard after the scream, and the words that\nhad been uttered, had probably been heard only by me; for they had\nproceeded from the room above mine: but they assured me that it was not a\nservant's dream which had thus struck horror through the house; and that\nthe explanation Mr. Rochester had given was merely an invention framed to\npacify his guests.", "I dressed, then, to be ready for emergencies.", "When\ndressed, I sat a long time by the window looking out over the silent\ngrounds and silvered fields and waiting for I knew not what.", "It seemed\nto me that some event must follow the strange cry, struggle, and call.", "No: stillness returned: each murmur and movement ceased gradually, and in\nabout an hour Thornfield Hall was again as hushed as a desert.", "It seemed\nthat sleep and night had resumed their empire.", "Meantime the moon\ndeclined: she was about to set.", "Not liking to sit in the cold and\ndarkness, I thought I would lie down on my bed, dressed as I was.", "I left\nthe window, and moved with little noise across the carpet; as I stooped\nto take off my shoes, a cautious hand tapped low at the door.", "\"Am I wanted?\"", "I asked.", "\"Are you up?\"", "asked the voice I expected to hear, viz., my master's.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And dressed?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Come out, then, quietly.\"", "I obeyed.", "Mr. Rochester stood in the gallery holding a light.", "\"I want you,\" he said: \"come this way: take your time, and make no\nnoise.\"", "My slippers were thin: I could walk the matted floor as softly as a cat.", "He glided up the gallery and up the stairs, and stopped in the dark, low\ncorridor of the fateful third storey: I had followed and stood at his\nside.", "\"Have you a sponge in your room?\"", "he asked in a whisper.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Have you any salts--volatile salts?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Go back and fetch both.\"", "I returned, sought the sponge on the washstand, the salts in my drawer,\nand once more retraced my steps.", "He still waited; he held a key in his\nhand: approaching one of the small, black doors, he put it in the lock;\nhe paused, and addressed me again.", "\"You don't turn sick at the sight of blood?\"", "\"I think I shall not: I have never been tried yet.\"", "I felt a thrill while I answered him; but no coldness, and no faintness.", "\"Just give me your hand,\" he said: \"it will not do to risk a fainting\nfit.\"", "I put my fingers into his.", "\"Warm and steady,\" was his remark: he turned\nthe key and opened the door.", "I saw a room I remembered to have seen before, the day Mrs. Fairfax\nshowed me over the house: it was hung with tapestry; but the tapestry was\nnow looped up in one part, and there was a door apparent, which had then\nbeen concealed.", "This door was open; a light shone out of the room\nwithin: I heard thence a snarling, snatching sound, almost like a dog\nquarrelling.", "Mr. Rochester, putting down his candle, said to me, \"Wait a\nminute,\" and he went forward to the inner apartment.", "A shout of laughter\ngreeted his entrance; noisy at first, and terminating in Grace Poole's\nown goblin ha!", "ha!", "_She_ then was there.", "He made some sort of\narrangement without speaking, though I heard a low voice address him: he\ncame out and closed the door behind him.", "\"Here, Jane!\"", "he said; and I walked round to the other side of a large\nbed, which with its drawn curtains concealed a considerable portion of\nthe chamber.", "An easy-chair was near the bed-head: a man sat in it,\ndressed with the exception of his coat; he was still; his head leant\nback; his eyes were closed.", "Mr. Rochester held the candle over him; I\nrecognised in his pale and seemingly lifeless face--the stranger, Mason:\nI saw too that his linen on one side, and one arm, was almost soaked in\nblood.", "\"Hold the candle,\" said Mr. Rochester, and I took it: he fetched a basin\nof water from the washstand: \"Hold that,\" said he.", "I obeyed.", "He took\nthe sponge, dipped it in, and moistened the corpse-like face; he asked\nfor my smelling-bottle, and applied it to the nostrils.", "Mr. Mason\nshortly unclosed his eyes; he groaned.", "Mr. Rochester opened the shirt of\nthe wounded man, whose arm and shoulder were bandaged: he sponged away\nblood, trickling fast down.", "\"Is there immediate danger?\"", "murmured Mr. Mason.", "\"Pooh!", "No--a mere scratch.", "Don't be so overcome, man: bear up!", "I'll\nfetch a surgeon for you now, myself: you'll be able to be removed by\nmorning, I hope.", "Jane,\" he continued.", "\"Sir?\"", "\"I shall have to leave you in this room with this gentleman, for an hour,\nor perhaps two hours: you will sponge the blood as I do when it returns:\nif he feels faint, you will put the glass of water on that stand to his\nlips, and your salts to his nose.", "You will not speak to him on any\npretext--and--Richard, it will be at the peril of your life if you speak\nto her: open your lips--agitate yourself--and I'll not answer for the\nconsequences.\"", "Again the poor man groaned; he looked as if he dared not move; fear,\neither of death or of something else, appeared almost to paralyse him.", "Mr. Rochester put the now bloody sponge into my hand, and I proceeded to\nuse it as he had done.", "He watched me a second, then saying,\n\"Remember!--No conversation,\" he left the room.", "I experienced a strange\nfeeling as the key grated in the lock, and the sound of his retreating\nstep ceased to be heard.", "Here then I was in the third storey, fastened into one of its mystic\ncells; night around me; a pale and bloody spectacle under my eyes and\nhands; a murderess hardly separated from me by a single door: yes--that\nwas appalling--the rest I could bear; but I shuddered at the thought of\nGrace Poole bursting out upon me.", "I must keep to my post, however.", "I must watch this ghastly\ncountenance--these blue, still lips forbidden to unclose--these eyes now\nshut, now opening, now wandering through the room, now fixing on me, and\never glazed with the dulness of horror.", "I must dip my hand again and\nagain in the basin of blood and water, and wipe away the trickling gore.", "I must see the light of the unsnuffed candle wane on my employment; the\nshadows darken on the wrought, antique tapestry round me, and grow black\nunder the hangings of the vast old bed, and quiver strangely over the\ndoors of a great cabinet opposite--whose front, divided into twelve\npanels, bore, in grim design, the heads of the twelve apostles, each\nenclosed in its separate panel as in a frame; while above them at the top\nrose an ebon crucifix and a dying Christ.", "According as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam hovered here or\nglanced there, it was now the bearded physician, Luke, that bent his\nbrow; now St. John's long hair that waved; and anon the devilish face of\nJudas, that grew out of the panel, and seemed gathering life and\nthreatening a revelation of the arch-traitor--of Satan himself--in his\nsubordinate's form.", "Amidst all this, I had to listen as well as watch: to listen for the\nmovements of the wild beast or the fiend in yonder side den.", "But since\nMr. Rochester's visit it seemed spellbound: all the night I heard but\nthree sounds at three long intervals,--a step creak, a momentary renewal\nof the snarling, canine noise, and a deep human groan.", "Then my own thoughts worried me.", "What crime was this that lived\nincarnate in this sequestered mansion, and could neither be expelled nor\nsubdued by the owner?--what mystery, that broke out now in fire and now\nin blood, at the deadest hours of night?", "What creature was it, that,\nmasked in an ordinary woman's face and shape, uttered the voice, now of a\nmocking demon, and anon of a carrion-seeking bird of prey?", "And this man I bent over--this commonplace, quiet stranger--how had he\nbecome involved in the web of horror?", "and why had the Fury flown at him?", "What made him seek this quarter of the house at an untimely season, when\nhe should have been asleep in bed?", "I had heard Mr. Rochester assign him\nan apartment below--what brought him here!", "And why, now, was he so tame\nunder the violence or treachery done him?", "Why did he so quietly submit\nto the concealment Mr. Rochester enforced?", "Why _did_ Mr. Rochester\nenforce this concealment?", "His guest had been outraged, his own life on a\nformer occasion had been hideously plotted against; and both attempts he\nsmothered in secrecy and sank in oblivion!", "Lastly, I saw Mr. Mason was\nsubmissive to Mr. Rochester; that the impetuous will of the latter held\ncomplete sway over the inertness of the former: the few words which had\npassed between them assured me of this.", "It was evident that in their\nformer intercourse, the passive disposition of the one had been\nhabitually influenced by the active energy of the other: whence then had\narisen Mr. Rochester's dismay when he heard of Mr. Mason's arrival?", "Why\nhad the mere name of this unresisting individual--whom his word now\nsufficed to control like a child--fallen on him, a few hours since, as a\nthunderbolt might fall on an oak?", "Oh!", "I could not forget his look and his paleness when he whispered:\n\"Jane, I have got a blow--I have got a blow, Jane.\"", "I could not forget\nhow the arm had trembled which he rested on my shoulder: and it was no\nlight matter which could thus bow the resolute spirit and thrill the\nvigorous frame of Fairfax Rochester.", "\"When will he come?", "When will he come?\"", "I cried inwardly, as the night\nlingered and lingered--as my bleeding patient drooped, moaned, sickened:\nand neither day nor aid arrived.", "I had, again and again, held the water\nto Mason's white lips; again and again offered him the stimulating salts:\nmy efforts seemed ineffectual: either bodily or mental suffering, or loss\nof blood, or all three combined, were fast prostrating his strength.", "He\nmoaned so, and looked so weak, wild, and lost, I feared he was dying; and\nI might not even speak to him.", "The candle, wasted at last, went out; as it expired, I perceived streaks\nof grey light edging the window curtains: dawn was then approaching.", "Presently I heard Pilot bark far below, out of his distant kennel in the\ncourtyard: hope revived.", "Nor was it unwarranted: in five minutes more\nthe grating key, the yielding lock, warned me my watch was relieved.", "It\ncould not have lasted more than two hours: many a week has seemed\nshorter.", "Mr. Rochester entered, and with him the surgeon he had been to fetch.", "\"Now, Carter, be on the alert,\" he said to this last: \"I give you but\nhalf-an-hour for dressing the wound, fastening the bandages, getting the\npatient downstairs and all.\"", "\"But is he fit to move, sir?\"", "\"No doubt of it; it is nothing serious; he is nervous, his spirits must\nbe kept up.", "Come, set to work.\"", "Mr. Rochester drew back the thick curtain, drew up the holland blind, let\nin all the daylight he could; and I was surprised and cheered to see how\nfar dawn was advanced: what rosy streaks were beginning to brighten the\neast.", "Then he approached Mason, whom the surgeon was already handling.", "\"Now, my good fellow, how are you?\"", "he asked.", "\"She's done for me, I fear,\" was the faint reply.", "\"Not a whit!--courage!", "This day fortnight you'll hardly be a pin the\nworse of it: you've lost a little blood; that's all.", "Carter, assure him\nthere's no danger.\"", "\"I can do that conscientiously,\" said Carter, who had now undone the\nbandages; \"only I wish I could have got here sooner: he would not have\nbled so much--but how is this?", "The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well\nas cut.", "This wound was not done with a knife: there have been teeth\nhere!\"", "\"She bit me,\" he murmured.", "\"She worried me like a tigress, when\nRochester got the knife from her.\"", "\"You should not have yielded: you should have grappled with her at once,\"\nsaid Mr. Rochester.", "\"But under such circumstances, what could one do?\"", "returned Mason.", "\"Oh,\nit was frightful!\"", "he added, shuddering.", "\"And I did not expect it: she\nlooked so quiet at first.\"", "\"I warned you,\" was his friend's answer; \"I said--be on your guard when\nyou go near her.", "Besides, you might have waited till to-morrow, and had\nme with you: it was mere folly to attempt the interview to-night, and\nalone.\"", "\"I thought I could have done some good.\"", "\"You thought!", "you thought!", "Yes, it makes me impatient to hear you: but,\nhowever, you have suffered, and are likely to suffer enough for not\ntaking my advice; so I'll say no more.", "Carter--hurry!--hurry!", "The sun\nwill soon rise, and I must have him off.\"", "\"Directly, sir; the shoulder is just bandaged.", "I must look to this other\nwound in the arm: she has had her teeth here too, I think.\"", "\"She sucked the blood: she said she'd drain my heart,\" said Mason.", "I saw Mr. Rochester shudder: a singularly marked expression of disgust,\nhorror, hatred, warped his countenance almost to distortion; but he only\nsaid--\n\n\"Come, be silent, Richard, and never mind her gibberish: don't repeat\nit.\"", "\"I wish I could forget it,\" was the answer.", "\"You will when you are out of the country: when you get back to Spanish\nTown, you may think of her as dead and buried--or rather, you need not\nthink of her at all.\"", "\"Impossible to forget this night!\"", "\"It is not impossible: have some energy, man.", "You thought you were as\ndead as a herring two hours since, and you are all alive and talking now.", "There!--Carter has done with you or nearly so; I'll make you decent in a\ntrice.", "Jane\" (he turned to me for the first time since his re-entrance),\n\"take this key: go down into my bedroom, and walk straight forward into\nmy dressing-room: open the top drawer of the wardrobe and take out a\nclean shirt and neck-handkerchief: bring them here; and be nimble.\"", "I went; sought the repository he had mentioned, found the articles named,\nand returned with them.", "\"Now,\" said he, \"go to the other side of the bed while I order his\ntoilet; but don't leave the room: you may be wanted again.\"", "I retired as directed.", "\"Was anybody stirring below when you went down, Jane?\"", "inquired Mr.\nRochester presently.", "\"No, sir; all was very still.\"", "\"We shall get you off cannily, Dick: and it will be better, both for your\nsake, and for that of the poor creature in yonder.", "I have striven long\nto avoid exposure, and I should not like it to come at last.", "Here,\nCarter, help him on with his waist-coat.", "Where did you leave your furred\ncloak?", "You can't travel a mile without that, I know, in this damned cold\nclimate.", "In your room?--Jane, run down to Mr. Mason's room,--the one\nnext mine,--and fetch a cloak you will see there.\"", "Again I ran, and again returned, bearing an immense mantle lined and\nedged with fur.", "\"Now, I've another errand for you,\" said my untiring master; \"you must\naway to my room again.", "What a mercy you are shod with velvet, Jane!--a\nclod-hopping messenger would never do at this juncture.", "You must open\nthe middle drawer of my toilet-table and take out a little phial and a\nlittle glass you will find there,--quick!\"", "I flew thither and back, bringing the desired vessels.", "\"That's well!", "Now, doctor, I shall take the liberty of administering a\ndose myself, on my own responsibility.", "I got this cordial at Rome, of an\nItalian charlatan--a fellow you would have kicked, Carter.", "It is not a\nthing to be used indiscriminately, but it is good upon occasion: as now,\nfor instance.", "Jane, a little water.\"", "He held out the tiny glass, and I half filled it from the water-bottle on\nthe washstand.", "\"That will do;--now wet the lip of the phial.\"", "I did so; he measured twelve drops of a crimson liquid, and presented it\nto Mason.", "\"Drink, Richard: it will give you the heart you lack, for an hour or so.\"", "\"But will it hurt me?--is it inflammatory?\"", "\"Drink!", "drink!", "drink!\"", "Mr. Mason obeyed, because it was evidently useless to resist.", "He was\ndressed now: he still looked pale, but he was no longer gory and sullied.", "Mr. Rochester let him sit three minutes after he had swallowed the\nliquid; he then took his arm--\n\n\"Now I am sure you can get on your feet,\" he said--\"try.\"", "The patient rose.", "\"Carter, take him under the other shoulder.", "Be of good cheer, Richard;\nstep out--that's it!\"", "\"I do feel better,\" remarked Mr. Mason.", "\"I am sure you do.", "Now, Jane, trip on before us away to the backstairs;\nunbolt the side-passage door, and tell the driver of the post-chaise you\nwill see in the yard--or just outside, for I told him not to drive his\nrattling wheels over the pavement--to be ready; we are coming: and, Jane,\nif any one is about, come to the foot of the stairs and hem.\"", "It was by this time half-past five, and the sun was on the point of\nrising; but I found the kitchen still dark and silent.", "The side-passage\ndoor was fastened; I opened it with as little noise as possible: all the\nyard was quiet; but the gates stood wide open, and there was a\npost-chaise, with horses ready harnessed, and driver seated on the box,\nstationed outside.", "I approached him, and said the gentlemen were coming;\nhe nodded: then I looked carefully round and listened.", "The stillness of\nearly morning slumbered everywhere; the curtains were yet drawn over the\nservants' chamber windows; little birds were just twittering in the\nblossom-blanched orchard trees, whose boughs drooped like white garlands\nover the wall enclosing one side of the yard; the carriage horses stamped\nfrom time to time in their closed stables: all else was still.", "The gentlemen now appeared.", "Mason, supported by Mr. Rochester and the\nsurgeon, seemed to walk with tolerable ease: they assisted him into the\nchaise; Carter followed.", "\"Take care of him,\" said Mr. Rochester to the latter, \"and keep him at\nyour house till he is quite well: I shall ride over in a day or two to\nsee how he gets on.", "Richard, how is it with you?\"", "\"The fresh air revives me, Fairfax.\"", "\"Leave the window open on his side, Carter; there is no wind--good-bye,\nDick.\"", "\"Fairfax--\"\n\n\"Well what is it?\"", "\"Let her be taken care of; let her be treated as tenderly as may be: let\nher--\" he stopped and burst into tears.", "\"I do my best; and have done it, and will do it,\" was the answer: he shut\nup the chaise door, and the vehicle drove away.", "\"Yet would to God there was an end of all this!\"", "added Mr. Rochester, as\nhe closed and barred the heavy yard-gates.", "This done, he moved with slow step and abstracted air towards a door in\nthe wall bordering the orchard.", "I, supposing he had done with me,\nprepared to return to the house; again, however, I heard him call \"Jane!\"", "He had opened the portal and stood at it, waiting for me.", "\"Come where there is some freshness, for a few moments,\" he said; \"that\nhouse is a mere dungeon: don't you feel it so?\"", "\"It seems to me a splendid mansion, sir.\"", "\"The glamour of inexperience is over your eyes,\" he answered; \"and you\nsee it through a charmed medium: you cannot discern that the gilding is\nslime and the silk draperies cobwebs; that the marble is sordid slate,\nand the polished woods mere refuse chips and scaly bark.", "Now _here_\" (he\npointed to the leafy enclosure we had entered) \"all is real, sweet, and\npure.\"", "He strayed down a walk edged with box, with apple trees, pear trees, and\ncherry trees on one side, and a border on the other full of all sorts of\nold-fashioned flowers, stocks, sweet-williams, primroses, pansies,\nmingled with southernwood, sweet-briar, and various fragrant herbs.", "They\nwere fresh now as a succession of April showers and gleams, followed by a\nlovely spring morning, could make them: the sun was just entering the\ndappled east, and his light illumined the wreathed and dewy orchard trees\nand shone down the quiet walks under them.", "\"Jane, will you have a flower?\"", "He gathered a half-blown rose, the first on the bush, and offered it to\nme.", "\"Thank you, sir.\"", "\"Do you like this sunrise, Jane?", "That sky with its high and light clouds\nwhich are sure to melt away as the day waxes warm--this placid and balmly\natmosphere?\"", "\"I do, very much.\"", "\"You have passed a strange night, Jane.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And it has made you look pale--were you afraid when I left you alone\nwith Mason?\"", "\"I was afraid of some one coming out of the inner room.\"", "\"But I had fastened the door--I had the key in my pocket: I should have\nbeen a careless shepherd if I had left a lamb--my pet lamb--so near a\nwolf's den, unguarded: you were safe.\"", "\"Will Grace Poole live here still, sir?\"", "\"Oh yes!", "don't trouble your head about her--put the thing out of your\nthoughts.\"", "\"Yet it seems to me your life is hardly secure while she stays.\"", "\"Never fear--I will take care of myself.\"", "\"Is the danger you apprehended last night gone by now, sir?\"", "\"I cannot vouch for that till Mason is out of England: nor even then.", "To\nlive, for me, Jane, is to stand on a crater-crust which may crack and\nspue fire any day.\"", "\"But Mr. Mason seems a man easily led.", "Your influence, sir, is evidently\npotent with him: he will never set you at defiance or wilfully injure\nyou.\"", "\"Oh, no!", "Mason will not defy me; nor, knowing it, will he hurt me--but,\nunintentionally, he might in a moment, by one careless word, deprive me,\nif not of life, yet for ever of happiness.\"", "\"Tell him to be cautious, sir: let him know what you fear, and show him\nhow to avert the danger.\"", "He laughed sardonically, hastily took my hand, and as hastily threw it\nfrom him.", "\"If I could do that, simpleton, where would the danger be?", "Annihilated\nin a moment.", "Ever since I have known Mason, I have only had to say to\nhim 'Do that,' and the thing has been done.", "But I cannot give him orders\nin this case: I cannot say 'Beware of harming me, Richard;' for it is\nimperative that I should keep him ignorant that harm to me is possible.", "Now you look puzzled; and I will puzzle you further.", "You are my little\nfriend, are you not?\"", "\"I like to serve you, sir, and to obey you in all that is right.\"", "\"Precisely: I see you do.", "I see genuine contentment in your gait and\nmien, your eye and face, when you are helping me and pleasing me--working\nfor me, and with me, in, as you characteristically say, '_all that is\nright_:' for if I bid you do what you thought wrong, there would be no\nlight-footed running, no neat-handed alacrity, no lively glance and\nanimated complexion.", "My friend would then turn to me, quiet and pale,\nand would say, 'No, sir; that is impossible: I cannot do it, because it\nis wrong;' and would become immutable as a fixed star.", "Well, you too\nhave power over me, and may injure me: yet I dare not show you where I am\nvulnerable, lest, faithful and friendly as you are, you should transfix\nme at once.\"", "\"If you have no more to fear from Mr. Mason than you have from me, sir,\nyou are very safe.\"", "\"God grant it may be so!", "Here, Jane, is an arbour; sit down.\"", "The arbour was an arch in the wall, lined with ivy; it contained a rustic\nseat.", "Mr. Rochester took it, leaving room, however, for me: but I stood\nbefore him.", "\"Sit,\" he said; \"the bench is long enough for two.", "You don't hesitate to\ntake a place at my side, do you?", "Is that wrong, Jane?\"", "I answered him by assuming it: to refuse would, I felt, have been unwise.", "\"Now, my little friend, while the sun drinks the dew--while all the\nflowers in this old garden awake and expand, and the birds fetch their\nyoung ones' breakfast out of the Thornfield, and the early bees do their\nfirst spell of work--I'll put a case to you, which you must endeavour to\nsuppose your own: but first, look at me, and tell me you are at ease, and\nnot fearing that I err in detaining you, or that you err in staying.\"", "\"No, sir; I am content.\"", "\"Well then, Jane, call to aid your fancy:--suppose you were no longer a\ngirl well reared and disciplined, but a wild boy indulged from childhood\nupwards; imagine yourself in a remote foreign land; conceive that you\nthere commit a capital error, no matter of what nature or from what\nmotives, but one whose consequences must follow you through life and\ntaint all your existence.", "Mind, I don't say a _crime_; I am not speaking\nof shedding of blood or any other guilty act, which might make the\nperpetrator amenable to the law: my word is _error_.", "The results of what\nyou have done become in time to you utterly insupportable; you take\nmeasures to obtain relief: unusual measures, but neither unlawful nor\nculpable.", "Still you are miserable; for hope has quitted you on the very\nconfines of life: your sun at noon darkens in an eclipse, which you feel\nwill not leave it till the time of setting.", "Bitter and base associations\nhave become the sole food of your memory: you wander here and there,\nseeking rest in exile: happiness in pleasure--I mean in heartless,\nsensual pleasure--such as dulls intellect and blights feeling.", "Heart-weary and soul-withered, you come home after years of voluntary\nbanishment: you make a new acquaintance--how or where no matter: you find\nin this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have\nsought for twenty years, and never before encountered; and they are all\nfresh, healthy, without soil and without taint.", "Such society revives,\nregenerates: you feel better days come back--higher wishes, purer\nfeelings; you desire to recommence your life, and to spend what remains\nto you of days in a way more worthy of an immortal being.", "To attain this\nend, are you justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom--a mere\nconventional impediment which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your\njudgment approves?\"", "He paused for an answer: and what was I to say?", "Oh, for some good spirit\nto suggest a judicious and satisfactory response!", "Vain aspiration!", "The\nwest wind whispered in the ivy round me; but no gentle Ariel borrowed its\nbreath as a medium of speech: the birds sang in the tree-tops; but their\nsong, however sweet, was inarticulate.", "Again Mr. Rochester propounded his query:\n\n\"Is the wandering and sinful, but now rest-seeking and repentant, man\njustified in daring the world's opinion, in order to attach to him for\never this gentle, gracious, genial stranger, thereby securing his own\npeace of mind and regeneration of life?\"", "\"Sir,\" I answered, \"a wanderer's repose or a sinner's reformation should\nnever depend on a fellow-creature.", "Men and women die; philosophers\nfalter in wisdom, and Christians in goodness: if any one you know has\nsuffered and erred, let him look higher than his equals for strength to\namend and solace to heal.\"", "\"But the instrument--the instrument!", "God, who does the work, ordains the\ninstrument.", "I have myself--I tell it you without parable--been a\nworldly, dissipated, restless man; and I believe I have found the\ninstrument for my cure in--\"\n\nHe paused: the birds went on carolling, the leaves lightly rustling.", "I\nalmost wondered they did not check their songs and whispers to catch the\nsuspended revelation; but they would have had to wait many minutes--so\nlong was the silence protracted.", "At last I looked up at the tardy\nspeaker: he was looking eagerly at me.", "\"Little friend,\" said he, in quite a changed tone--while his face changed\ntoo, losing all its softness and gravity, and becoming harsh and\nsarcastic--\"you have noticed my tender penchant for Miss Ingram: don't\nyou think if I married her she would regenerate me with a vengeance?\"", "He got up instantly, went quite to the other end of the walk, and when he\ncame back he was humming a tune.", "\"Jane, Jane,\" said he, stopping before me, \"you are quite pale with your\nvigils: don't you curse me for disturbing your rest?\"", "\"Curse you?", "No, sir.\"", "\"Shake hands in confirmation of the word.", "What cold fingers!", "They were\nwarmer last night when I touched them at the door of the mysterious\nchamber.", "Jane, when will you watch with me again?\"", "\"Whenever I can be useful, sir.\"", "\"For instance, the night before I am married!", "I am sure I shall not be\nable to sleep.", "Will you promise to sit up with me to bear me company?", "To\nyou I can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen her and know her.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"She's a rare one, is she not, Jane?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"A strapper--a real strapper, Jane: big, brown, and buxom; with hair just\nsuch as the ladies of Carthage must have had.", "Bless me!", "there's Dent and\nLynn in the stables!", "Go in by the shrubbery, through that wicket.\"", "As I went one way, he went another, and I heard him in the yard, saying\ncheerfully--\n\n\"Mason got the start of you all this morning; he was gone before sunrise:\nI rose at four to see him off.\"" ]

[ "No: stillness returned: each murmur and movement ceased gradually, and in\nabout an hour Thornfield Hall was again as hushed as a desert.", "\"And dressed?\"", "I obeyed.", "He took\nthe sponge, dipped it in, and moistened the corpse-like face; he asked\nfor my smelling-bottle, and applied it to the nostrils.", "\"You thought!", "\"No, sir; all was very still.\"", "\"Drink, Richard: it will give you the heart you lack, for an hour or so.\"", "\"I am sure you do.", "Mr. Rochester took it, leaving room, however, for me: but I stood\nbefore him.", "I answered him by assuming it: to refuse would, I felt, have been unwise." ]

[ "The sun\nwill soon rise, and I must have him off.\"", "Bless me!", "\"I cannot find him\nin his bed.\"", "Mr. Rochester held the candle over him; I\nrecognised in his pale and seemingly lifeless face--the stranger, Mason:\nI saw too that his linen on one side, and one arm, was almost soaked in\nblood.", "\"Now,\" said he, \"go to the other side of the bed while I order his\ntoilet; but don't leave the room: you may be wanted again.\"", "And the door at the end of the gallery opened, and Mr. Rochester advanced\nwith a candle: he had just descended from the upper storey.", "\"Drink!", "\"Is there immediate danger?\"", "\"But Mr. Mason seems a man easily led.", "I retired as directed." ]

[ "\"Not a whit!--courage!", "This day fortnight you'll hardly be a pin the\nworse of it: you've lost a little blood; that's all.", "Carter, assure him\nthere's no danger.\"", "\"I can do that conscientiously,\" said Carter, who had now undone the\nbandages; \"only I wish I could have got here sooner: he would not have\nbled so much--but how is this?", "The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well\nas cut.", "This wound was not done with a knife: there have been teeth\nhere!\"", "\"She bit me,\" he murmured.", "\"She worried me like a tigress, when\nRochester got the knife from her.\"", "\"You should not have yielded: you should have grappled with her at once,\"\nsaid Mr. Rochester.", "\"But under such circumstances, what could one do?\"", "returned Mason." ]

[ "\n\nI had forgotten to draw my curtain, which I usually did, and also to let\ndown my window-blind.", "The consequence was, that when the moon, which was\nfull and bright (for the night was fine), came in her course to that\nspace in the sky opposite my casement, and looked in at me through the\nunveiled panes, her glorious gaze roused me.", "Awaking in the dead of\nnight, I opened my eyes on her disk--silver-white and crystal clear.", "It\nwas beautiful, but too solemn; I half rose, and stretched my arm to draw\nthe curtain.", "Good God!", "What a cry!", "The night--its silence--its rest, was rent in twain by a savage, a sharp,\na shrilly sound that ran from end to end of Thornfield Hall.", "My pulse stopped: my heart stood still; my stretched arm was paralysed.", "The cry died, and was not renewed.", "Indeed, whatever being uttered that\nfearful shriek could not soon repeat it: not the widest-winged condor on\nthe Andes could, twice in succession, send out such a yell from the cloud\nshrouding his eyrie.", "Will you promise to sit up with me to bear me company?", "To\nyou I can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen her and know her.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"She's a rare one, is she not, Jane?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"A strapper--a real strapper, Jane: big, brown, and buxom; with hair just\nsuch as the ladies of Carthage must have had.", "Bless me!", "there's Dent and\nLynn in the stables!", "Go in by the shrubbery, through that wicket.\"", "As I went one way, he went another, and I heard him in the yard, saying\ncheerfully--\n\n\"Mason got the start of you all this morning; he was gone before sunrise:\nI rose at four to see him off.\"" ]

[ "\n\nPresentiments are strange things!", "and so are sympathies; and so are\nsigns; and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not\nyet found the key.", "I never laughed at presentiments in my life, because\nI have had strange ones of my own.", "Sympathies, I believe, exist (for\ninstance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives\nasserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the unity of the source to\nwhich each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal comprehension.", "And signs, for aught we know, may be but the sympathies of Nature with\nman.", "When I was a little girl, only six years old, I one night heard Bessie\nLeaven say to Martha Abbot that she had been dreaming about a little\nchild; and that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble, either\nto one's self or one's kin.", "The saying might have worn out of my memory,\nhad not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix\nit there.", "The next day Bessie was sent for home to the deathbed of her\nlittle sister.", "Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during\nthe past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not\nbrought with it a dream of an infant, which I sometimes hushed in my\narms, sometimes dandled on my knee, sometimes watched playing with\ndaisies on a lawn, or again, dabbling its hands in running water.", "It was\na wailing child this night, and a laughing one the next: now it nestled\nclose to me, and now it ran from me; but whatever mood the apparition\nevinced, whatever aspect it wore, it failed not for seven successive\nnights to meet me the moment I entered the land of slumber.", "I did not like this iteration of one idea--this strange recurrence of one\nimage, and I grew nervous as bedtime approached and the hour of the\nvision drew near.", "It was from companionship with this baby-phantom I had\nbeen roused on that moonlight night when I heard the cry; and it was on\nthe afternoon of the day following I was summoned downstairs by a message\nthat some one wanted me in Mrs. Fairfax's room.", "On repairing thither, I\nfound a man waiting for me, having the appearance of a gentleman's\nservant: he was dressed in deep mourning, and the hat he held in his hand\nwas surrounded with a crape band.", "\"I daresay you hardly remember me, Miss,\" he said, rising as I entered;\n\"but my name is Leaven: I lived coachman with Mrs. Reed when you were at\nGateshead, eight or nine years since, and I live there still.\"", "\"Oh, Robert!", "how do you do?", "I remember you very well: you used to give\nme a ride sometimes on Miss Georgiana's bay pony.", "And how is Bessie?", "You\nare married to Bessie?\"", "\"Yes, Miss: my wife is very hearty, thank you; she brought me another\nlittle one about two months since--we have three now--and both mother and\nchild are thriving.\"", "\"And are the family well at the house, Robert?\"", "\"I am sorry I can't give you better news of them, Miss: they are very\nbadly at present--in great trouble.\"", "\"I hope no one is dead,\" I said, glancing at his black dress.", "He too\nlooked down at the crape round his hat and replied--\n\n\"Mr. John died yesterday was a week, at his chambers in London.\"", "\"Mr.", "John?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And how does his mother bear it?\"", "\"Why, you see, Miss Eyre, it is not a common mishap: his life has been\nvery wild: these last three years he gave himself up to strange ways, and\nhis death was shocking.\"", "\"I heard from Bessie he was not doing well.\"", "\"Doing well!", "He could not do worse: he ruined his health and his estate\namongst the worst men and the worst women.", "He got into debt and into\njail: his mother helped him out twice, but as soon as he was free he\nreturned to his old companions and habits.", "His head was not strong: the\nknaves he lived amongst fooled him beyond anything I ever heard.", "He came\ndown to Gateshead about three weeks ago and wanted missis to give up all\nto him.", "Missis refused: her means have long been much reduced by his\nextravagance; so he went back again, and the next news was that he was\ndead.", "How he died, God knows!--they say he killed himself.\"", "I was silent: the things were frightful.", "Robert Leaven resumed--\n\n\"Missis had been out of health herself for some time: she had got very\nstout, but was not strong with it; and the loss of money and fear of\npoverty were quite breaking her down.", "The information about Mr. John's\ndeath and the manner of it came too suddenly: it brought on a stroke.", "She\nwas three days without speaking; but last Tuesday she seemed rather\nbetter: she appeared as if she wanted to say something, and kept making\nsigns to my wife and mumbling.", "It was only yesterday morning, however,\nthat Bessie understood she was pronouncing your name; and at last she\nmade out the words, 'Bring Jane--fetch Jane Eyre: I want to speak to\nher.'", "Bessie is not sure whether she is in her right mind, or means\nanything by the words; but she told Miss Reed and Miss Georgiana, and\nadvised them to send for you.", "The young ladies put it off at first; but\ntheir mother grew so restless, and said, 'Jane, Jane,' so many times,\nthat at last they consented.", "I left Gateshead yesterday: and if you can\nget ready, Miss, I should like to take you back with me early to-morrow\nmorning.\"", "\"Yes, Robert, I shall be ready: it seems to me that I ought to go.\"", "\"I think so too, Miss.", "Bessie said she was sure you would not refuse:\nbut I suppose you will have to ask leave before you can get off?\"", "\"Yes; and I will do it now;\" and having directed him to the servants'\nhall, and recommended him to the care of John's wife, and the attentions\nof John himself, I went in search of Mr. Rochester.", "He was not in any of the lower rooms; he was not in the yard, the\nstables, or the grounds.", "I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had seen him;--yes:\nshe believed he was playing billiards with Miss Ingram.", "To the billiard-\nroom I hastened: the click of balls and the hum of voices resounded\nthence; Mr. Rochester, Miss Ingram, the two Misses Eshton, and their\nadmirers, were all busied in the game.", "It required some courage to\ndisturb so interesting a party; my errand, however, was one I could not\ndefer, so I approached the master where he stood at Miss Ingram's side.", "She turned as I drew near, and looked at me haughtily: her eyes seemed to\ndemand, \"What can the creeping creature want now?\"", "and when I said, in a\nlow voice, \"Mr. Rochester,\" she made a movement as if tempted to order me\naway.", "I remember her appearance at the moment--it was very graceful and\nvery striking: she wore a morning robe of sky-blue crape; a gauzy azure\nscarf was twisted in her hair.", "She had been all animation with the game,\nand irritated pride did not lower the expression of her haughty\nlineaments.", "\"Does that person want you?\"", "she inquired of Mr. Rochester; and Mr.\nRochester turned to see who the \"person\" was.", "He made a curious\ngrimace--one of his strange and equivocal demonstrations--threw down his\ncue and followed me from the room.", "\"Well, Jane?\"", "he said, as he rested his back against the schoolroom door,\nwhich he had shut.", "\"If you please, sir, I want leave of absence for a week or two.\"", "\"What to do?--where to go?\"", "\"To see a sick lady who has sent for me.\"", "\"What sick lady?--where does she live?\"", "\"At Gateshead; in ---shire.\"", "\"-shire?", "That is a hundred miles off!", "Who may she be that sends for\npeople to see her that distance?\"", "\"Her name is Reed, sir--Mrs.", "Reed.\"", "\"Reed of Gateshead?", "There was a Reed of Gateshead, a magistrate.\"", "\"It is his widow, sir.\"", "\"And what have you to do with her?", "How do you know her?\"", "\"Mr. Reed was my uncle--my mother's brother.\"", "\"The deuce he was!", "You never told me that before: you always said you\nhad no relations.\"", "\"None that would own me, sir.", "Mr. Reed is dead, and his wife cast me\noff.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I was poor, and burdensome, and she disliked me.\"", "\"But Reed left children?--you must have cousins?", "Sir George Lynn was\ntalking of a Reed of Gateshead yesterday, who, he said, was one of the\nveriest rascals on town; and Ingram was mentioning a Georgiana Reed of\nthe same place, who was much admired for her beauty a season or two ago\nin London.\"", "\"John Reed is dead, too, sir: he ruined himself and half-ruined his\nfamily, and is supposed to have committed suicide.", "The news so shocked\nhis mother that it brought on an apoplectic attack.\"", "\"And what good can you do her?", "Nonsense, Jane!", "I would never think of\nrunning a hundred miles to see an old lady who will, perhaps, be dead\nbefore you reach her: besides, you say she cast you off.\"", "\"Yes, sir, but that is long ago; and when her circumstances were very\ndifferent: I could not be easy to neglect her wishes now.\"", "\"How long will you stay?\"", "\"As short a time as possible, sir.\"", "\"Promise me only to stay a week--\"\n\n\"I had better not pass my word: I might be obliged to break it.\"", "\"At all events you _will_ come back: you will not be induced under any\npretext to take up a permanent residence with her?\"", "\"Oh, no!", "I shall certainly return if all be well.\"", "\"And who goes with you?", "You don't travel a hundred miles alone.\"", "\"No, sir, she has sent her coachman.\"", "\"A person to be trusted?\"", "\"Yes, sir, he has lived ten years in the family.\"", "Mr. Rochester meditated.", "\"When do you wish to go?\"", "\"Early to-morrow morning, sir.\"", "\"Well, you must have some money; you can't travel without money, and I\ndaresay you have not much: I have given you no salary yet.", "How much have\nyou in the world, Jane?\"", "he asked, smiling.", "I drew out my purse; a meagre thing it was.", "\"Five shillings, sir.\"", "He\ntook the purse, poured the hoard into his palm, and chuckled over it as\nif its scantiness amused him.", "Soon he produced his pocket-book: \"Here,\"\nsaid he, offering me a note; it was fifty pounds, and he owed me but\nfifteen.", "I told him I had no change.", "\"I don't want change; you know that.", "Take your wages.\"", "I declined accepting more than was my due.", "He scowled at first; then, as\nif recollecting something, he said--\n\n\"Right, right!", "Better not give you all now: you would, perhaps, stay\naway three months if you had fifty pounds.", "There are ten; is it not\nplenty?\"", "\"Yes, sir, but now you owe me five.\"", "\"Come back for it, then; I am your banker for forty pounds.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I may as well mention another matter of business to you\nwhile I have the opportunity.\"", "\"Matter of business?", "I am curious to hear it.\"", "\"You have as good as informed me, sir, that you are going shortly to be\nmarried?\"", "\"Yes; what then?\"", "\"In that case, sir, Adele ought to go to school: I am sure you will\nperceive the necessity of it.\"", "\"To get her out of my bride's way, who might otherwise walk over her\nrather too emphatically?", "There's sense in the suggestion; not a doubt of\nit.", "Adele, as you say, must go to school; and you, of course, must march\nstraight to--the devil?\"", "\"I hope not, sir; but I must seek another situation somewhere.\"", "\"In course!\"", "he exclaimed, with a twang of voice and a distortion of\nfeatures equally fantastic and ludicrous.", "He looked at me some minutes.", "\"And old Madam Reed, or the Misses, her daughters, will be solicited by\nyou to seek a place, I suppose?\"", "\"No, sir; I am not on such terms with my relatives as would justify me in\nasking favours of them--but I shall advertise.\"", "\"You shall walk up the pyramids of Egypt!\"", "he growled.", "\"At your peril\nyou advertise!", "I wish I had only offered you a sovereign instead of ten\npounds.", "Give me back nine pounds, Jane; I've a use for it.\"", "\"And so have I, sir,\" I returned, putting my hands and my purse behind\nme.", "\"I could not spare the money on any account.\"", "\"Little niggard!\"", "said he, \"refusing me a pecuniary request!", "Give me\nfive pounds, Jane.\"", "\"Not five shillings, sir; nor five pence.\"", "\"Just let me look at the cash.\"", "\"No, sir; you are not to be trusted.\"", "\"Jane!\"", "\"Sir?\"", "\"Promise me one thing.\"", "\"I'll promise you anything, sir, that I think I am likely to perform.\"", "\"Not to advertise: and to trust this quest of a situation to me.", "I'll\nfind you one in time.\"", "\"I shall be glad so to do, sir, if you, in your turn, will promise that I\nand Adele shall be both safe out of the house before your bride enters\nit.\"", "\"Very well!", "very well!", "I'll pledge my word on it.", "You go to-morrow,\nthen?\"", "\"Yes, sir; early.\"", "\"Shall you come down to the drawing-room after dinner?\"", "\"No, sir, I must prepare for the journey.\"", "\"Then you and I must bid good-bye for a little while?\"", "\"I suppose so, sir.\"", "\"And how do people perform that ceremony of parting, Jane?", "Teach me; I'm\nnot quite up to it.\"", "\"They say, Farewell, or any other form they prefer.\"", "\"Then say it.\"", "\"Farewell, Mr. Rochester, for the present.\"", "\"What must I say?\"", "\"The same, if you like, sir.\"", "\"Farewell, Miss Eyre, for the present; is that all?\"", "\"Yes?\"", "\"It seems stingy, to my notions, and dry, and unfriendly.", "I should like\nsomething else: a little addition to the rite.", "If one shook hands, for\ninstance; but no--that would not content me either.", "So you'll do no more\nthan say Farewell, Jane?\"", "\"It is enough, sir: as much good-will may be conveyed in one hearty word\nas in many.\"", "\"Very likely; but it is blank and cool--'Farewell.'\"", "\"How long is he going to stand with his back against that door?\"", "I asked\nmyself; \"I want to commence my packing.\"", "The dinner-bell rang, and\nsuddenly away he bolted, without another syllable: I saw him no more\nduring the day, and was off before he had risen in the morning.", "I reached the lodge at Gateshead about five o'clock in the afternoon of\nthe first of May: I stepped in there before going up to the hall.", "It was\nvery clean and neat: the ornamental windows were hung with little white\ncurtains; the floor was spotless; the grate and fire-irons were burnished\nbright, and the fire burnt clear.", "Bessie sat on the hearth, nursing her\nlast-born, and Robert and his sister played quietly in a corner.", "\"Bless you!--I knew you would come!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Leaven, as I entered.", "\"Yes, Bessie,\" said I, after I had kissed her; \"and I trust I am not too\nlate.", "How is Mrs.", "Reed?--Alive still, I hope.\"", "\"Yes, she is alive; and more sensible and collected than she was.", "The\ndoctor says she may linger a week or two yet; but he hardly thinks she\nwill finally recover.\"", "\"Has she mentioned me lately?\"", "\"She was talking of you only this morning, and wishing you would come,\nbut she is sleeping now, or was ten minutes ago, when I was up at the\nhouse.", "She generally lies in a kind of lethargy all the afternoon, and\nwakes up about six or seven.", "Will you rest yourself here an hour, Miss,\nand then I will go up with you?\"", "Robert here entered, and Bessie laid her sleeping child in the cradle and\nwent to welcome him: afterwards she insisted on my taking off my bonnet\nand having some tea; for she said I looked pale and tired.", "I was glad to\naccept her hospitality; and I submitted to be relieved of my travelling\ngarb just as passively as I used to let her undress me when a child.", "Old times crowded fast back on me as I watched her bustling about--setting\nout the tea-tray with her best china, cutting bread and butter, toasting\na tea-cake, and, between whiles, giving little Robert or Jane an\noccasional tap or push, just as she used to give me in former days.", "Bessie had retained her quick temper as well as her light foot and good\nlooks.", "Tea ready, I was going to approach the table; but she desired me to sit\nstill, quite in her old peremptory tones.", "I must be served at the\nfireside, she said; and she placed before me a little round stand with my\ncup and a plate of toast, absolutely as she used to accommodate me with\nsome privately purloined dainty on a nursery chair: and I smiled and\nobeyed her as in bygone days.", "She wanted to know if I was happy at Thornfield Hall, and what sort of a\nperson the mistress was; and when I told her there was only a master,\nwhether he was a nice gentleman, and if I liked him.", "I told her he was\nrather an ugly man, but quite a gentleman; and that he treated me kindly,\nand I was content.", "Then I went on to describe to her the gay company\nthat had lately been staying at the house; and to these details Bessie\nlistened with interest: they were precisely of the kind she relished.", "In such conversation an hour was soon gone: Bessie restored to me my\nbonnet, &c., and, accompanied by her, I quitted the lodge for the hall.", "It was also accompanied by her that I had, nearly nine years ago, walked\ndown the path I was now ascending.", "On a dark, misty, raw morning in\nJanuary, I had left a hostile roof with a desperate and embittered\nheart--a sense of outlawry and almost of reprobation--to seek the chilly\nharbourage of Lowood: that bourne so far away and unexplored.", "The same\nhostile roof now again rose before me: my prospects were doubtful yet;\nand I had yet an aching heart.", "I still felt as a wanderer on the face of\nthe earth; but I experienced firmer trust in myself and my own powers,\nand less withering dread of oppression.", "The gaping wound of my wrongs,\ntoo, was now quite healed; and the flame of resentment extinguished.", "\"You shall go into the breakfast-room first,\" said Bessie, as she\npreceded me through the hall; \"the young ladies will be there.\"", "In another moment I was within that apartment.", "There was every article\nof furniture looking just as it did on the morning I was first introduced\nto Mr. Brocklehurst: the very rug he had stood upon still covered the\nhearth.", "Glancing at the bookcases, I thought I could distinguish the two\nvolumes of Bewick's British Birds occupying their old place on the third\nshelf, and Gulliver's Travels and the Arabian Nights ranged just above.", "The inanimate objects were not changed; but the living things had altered\npast recognition.", "Two young ladies appeared before me; one very tall, almost as tall as\nMiss Ingram--very thin too, with a sallow face and severe mien.", "There\nwas something ascetic in her look, which was augmented by the extreme\nplainness of a straight-skirted, black, stuff dress, a starched linen\ncollar, hair combed away from the temples, and the nun-like ornament of a\nstring of ebony beads and a crucifix.", "This I felt sure was Eliza, though\nI could trace little resemblance to her former self in that elongated and\ncolourless visage.", "The other was as certainly Georgiana: but not the Georgiana I\nremembered--the slim and fairy-like girl of eleven.", "This was a\nfull-blown, very plump damsel, fair as waxwork, with handsome and regular\nfeatures, languishing blue eyes, and ringleted yellow hair.", "The hue of\nher dress was black too; but its fashion was so different from her\nsister's--so much more flowing and becoming--it looked as stylish as the\nother's looked puritanical.", "In each of the sisters there was one trait of the mother--and only one;\nthe thin and pallid elder daughter had her parent's Cairngorm eye: the\nblooming and luxuriant younger girl had her contour of jaw and\nchin--perhaps a little softened, but still imparting an indescribable\nhardness to the countenance otherwise so voluptuous and buxom.", "Both ladies, as I advanced, rose to welcome me, and both addressed me by\nthe name of \"Miss Eyre.\"", "Eliza's greeting was delivered in a short,\nabrupt voice, without a smile; and then she sat down again, fixed her\neyes on the fire, and seemed to forget me.", "Georgiana added to her \"How\nd'ye do?\"", "several commonplaces about my journey, the weather, and so on,\nuttered in rather a drawling tone: and accompanied by sundry side-glances\nthat measured me from head to foot--now traversing the folds of my drab\nmerino pelisse, and now lingering on the plain trimming of my cottage\nbonnet.", "Young ladies have a remarkable way of letting you know that they\nthink you a \"quiz\" without actually saying the words.", "A certain\nsuperciliousness of look, coolness of manner, nonchalance of tone,\nexpress fully their sentiments on the point, without committing them by\nany positive rudeness in word or deed.", "A sneer, however, whether covert or open, had now no longer that power\nover me it once possessed: as I sat between my cousins, I was surprised\nto find how easy I felt under the total neglect of the one and the semi-\nsarcastic attentions of the other--Eliza did not mortify, nor Georgiana\nruffle me.", "The fact was, I had other things to think about; within the\nlast few months feelings had been stirred in me so much more potent than\nany they could raise--pains and pleasures so much more acute and\nexquisite had been excited than any it was in their power to inflict or\nbestow--that their airs gave me no concern either for good or bad.", "\"How is Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana, who\nthought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an unexpected\nliberty.", "\"Mrs. Reed?", "Ah!", "mama, you mean; she is extremely poorly: I doubt if you\ncan see her to-night.\"", "\"If,\" said I, \"you would just step upstairs and tell her I am come, I\nshould be much obliged to you.\"", "Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes wild and wide.", "\"I\nknow she had a particular wish to see me,\" I added, \"and I would not\ndefer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely necessary.\"", "\"Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening,\" remarked Eliza.", "I soon\nrose, quietly took off my bonnet and gloves, uninvited, and said I would\njust step out to Bessie--who was, I dared say, in the kitchen--and ask\nher to ascertain whether Mrs. Reed was disposed to receive me or not to-\nnight.", "I went, and having found Bessie and despatched her on my errand,\nI proceeded to take further measures.", "It had heretofore been my habit\nalways to shrink from arrogance: received as I had been to-day, I should,\na year ago, have resolved to quit Gateshead the very next morning; now,\nit was disclosed to me all at once that that would be a foolish plan.", "I\nhad taken a journey of a hundred miles to see my aunt, and I must stay\nwith her till she was better--or dead: as to her daughters' pride or\nfolly, I must put it on one side, make myself independent of it.", "So I\naddressed the housekeeper; asked her to show me a room, told her I should\nprobably be a visitor here for a week or two, had my trunk conveyed to my\nchamber, and followed it thither myself: I met Bessie on the landing.", "\"Missis is awake,\" said she; \"I have told her you are here: come and let\nus see if she will know you.\"", "I did not need to be guided to the well-known room, to which I had so\noften been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days.", "I\nhastened before Bessie; I softly opened the door: a shaded light stood on\nthe table, for it was now getting dark.", "There was the great four-post\nbed with amber hangings as of old; there the toilet-table, the armchair,\nand the footstool, at which I had a hundred times been sentenced to\nkneel, to ask pardon for offences by me uncommitted.", "I looked into a\ncertain corner near, half-expecting to see the slim outline of a once\ndreaded switch which used to lurk there, waiting to leap out imp-like and\nlace my quivering palm or shrinking neck.", "I approached the bed; I opened\nthe curtains and leant over the high-piled pillows.", "Well did I remember Mrs. Reed's face, and I eagerly sought the familiar\nimage.", "It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of vengeance\nand hushes the promptings of rage and aversion.", "I had left this woman in\nbitterness and hate, and I came back to her now with no other emotion\nthan a sort of ruth for her great sufferings, and a strong yearning to\nforget and forgive all injuries--to be reconciled and clasp hands in\namity.", "The well-known face was there: stern, relentless as ever--there was that\npeculiar eye which nothing could melt, and the somewhat raised,\nimperious, despotic eyebrow.", "How often had it lowered on me menace and\nhate!", "and how the recollection of childhood's terrors and sorrows revived\nas I traced its harsh line now!", "And yet I stooped down and kissed her:\nshe looked at me.", "\"Is this Jane Eyre?\"", "she said.", "\"Yes, Aunt Reed.", "How are you, dear aunt?\"", "I had once vowed that I would never call her aunt again: I thought it no\nsin to forget and break that vow now.", "My fingers had fastened on her\nhand which lay outside the sheet: had she pressed mine kindly, I should\nat that moment have experienced true pleasure.", "But unimpressionable\nnatures are not so soon softened, nor are natural antipathies so readily\neradicated.", "Mrs. Reed took her hand away, and, turning her face rather\nfrom me, she remarked that the night was warm.", "Again she regarded me so\nicily, I felt at once that her opinion of me--her feeling towards me--was\nunchanged and unchangeable.", "I knew by her stony eye--opaque to\ntenderness, indissoluble to tears--that she was resolved to consider me\nbad to the last; because to believe me good would give her no generous\npleasure: only a sense of mortification.", "I felt pain, and then I felt ire; and then I felt a determination to\nsubdue her--to be her mistress in spite both of her nature and her will.", "My tears had risen, just as in childhood: I ordered them back to their\nsource.", "I brought a chair to the bed-head: I sat down and leaned over\nthe pillow.", "\"You sent for me,\" I said, \"and I am here; and it is my intention to stay\ntill I see how you get on.\"", "\"Oh, of course!", "You have seen my daughters?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Well, you may tell them I wish you to stay till I can talk some things\nover with you I have on my mind: to-night it is too late, and I have a\ndifficulty in recalling them.", "But there was something I wished to\nsay--let me see--\"\n\nThe wandering look and changed utterance told what wreck had taken place\nin her once vigorous frame.", "Turning restlessly, she drew the bedclothes\nround her; my elbow, resting on a corner of the quilt, fixed it down: she\nwas at once irritated.", "\"Sit up!\"", "said she; \"don't annoy me with holding the clothes fast.", "Are\nyou Jane Eyre?\"", "\"I am Jane Eyre.\"", "\"I have had more trouble with that child than any one would believe.", "Such\na burden to be left on my hands--and so much annoyance as she caused me,\ndaily and hourly, with her incomprehensible disposition, and her sudden\nstarts of temper, and her continual, unnatural watchings of one's\nmovements!", "I declare she talked to me once like something mad, or like a\nfiend--no child ever spoke or looked as she did; I was glad to get her\naway from the house.", "What did they do with her at Lowood?", "The fever\nbroke out there, and many of the pupils died.", "She, however, did not die:\nbut I said she did--I wish she had died!\"", "\"A strange wish, Mrs. Reed; why do you hate her so?\"", "\"I had a dislike to her mother always; for she was my husband's only\nsister, and a great favourite with him: he opposed the family's disowning\nher when she made her low marriage; and when news came of her death, he\nwept like a simpleton.", "He would send for the baby; though I entreated\nhim rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its maintenance.", "I hated\nit the first time I set my eyes on it--a sickly, whining, pining thing!", "It would wail in its cradle all night long--not screaming heartily like\nany other child, but whimpering and moaning.", "Reed pitied it; and he used\nto nurse it and notice it as if it had been his own: more, indeed, than\nhe ever noticed his own at that age.", "He would try to make my children\nfriendly to the little beggar: the darlings could not bear it, and he was\nangry with them when they showed their dislike.", "In his last illness, he\nhad it brought continually to his bedside; and but an hour before he\ndied, he bound me by vow to keep the creature.", "I would as soon have been\ncharged with a pauper brat out of a workhouse: but he was weak, naturally\nweak.", "John does not at all resemble his father, and I am glad of it:\nJohn is like me and like my brothers--he is quite a Gibson.", "Oh, I wish\nhe would cease tormenting me with letters for money?", "I have no more\nmoney to give him: we are getting poor.", "I must send away half the\nservants and shut up part of the house; or let it off.", "I can never\nsubmit to do that--yet how are we to get on?", "Two-thirds of my income\ngoes in paying the interest of mortgages.", "John gambles dreadfully, and\nalways loses--poor boy!", "He is beset by sharpers: John is sunk and\ndegraded--his look is frightful--I feel ashamed for him when I see him.\"", "She was getting much excited.", "\"I think I had better leave her now,\" said\nI to Bessie, who stood on the other side of the bed.", "\"Perhaps you had, Miss: but she often talks in this way towards night--in\nthe morning she is calmer.\"", "I rose.", "\"Stop!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Reed, \"there is another thing I wished to\nsay.", "He threatens me--he continually threatens me with his own death, or\nmine: and I dream sometimes that I see him laid out with a great wound in\nhis throat, or with a swollen and blackened face.", "I am come to a strange\npass: I have heavy troubles.", "What is to be done?", "How is the money to be\nhad?\"", "Bessie now endeavoured to persuade her to take a sedative draught: she\nsucceeded with difficulty.", "Soon after, Mrs. Reed grew more composed, and\nsank into a dozing state.", "I then left her.", "More than ten days elapsed before I had again any conversation with her.", "She continued either delirious or lethargic; and the doctor forbade\neverything which could painfully excite her.", "Meantime, I got on as well\nas I could with Georgiana and Eliza.", "They were very cold, indeed, at\nfirst.", "Eliza would sit half the day sewing, reading, or writing, and\nscarcely utter a word either to me or her sister.", "Georgiana would\nchatter nonsense to her canary bird by the hour, and take no notice of\nme.", "But I was determined not to seem at a loss for occupation or\namusement: I had brought my drawing materials with me, and they served me\nfor both.", "Provided with a case of pencils, and some sheets of paper, I used to take\na seat apart from them, near the window, and busy myself in sketching\nfancy vignettes, representing any scene that happened momentarily to\nshape itself in the ever-shifting kaleidoscope of imagination: a glimpse\nof sea between two rocks; the rising moon, and a ship crossing its disk;\na group of reeds and water-flags, and a naiad's head, crowned with lotus-\nflowers, rising out of them; an elf sitting in a hedge-sparrow's nest,\nunder a wreath of hawthorn-bloom.", "One morning I fell to sketching a face: what sort of a face it was to be,\nI did not care or know.", "I took a soft black pencil, gave it a broad\npoint, and worked away.", "Soon I had traced on the paper a broad and\nprominent forehead and a square lower outline of visage: that contour\ngave me pleasure; my fingers proceeded actively to fill it with features.", "Strongly-marked horizontal eyebrows must be traced under that brow; then\nfollowed, naturally, a well-defined nose, with a straight ridge and full\nnostrils; then a flexible-looking mouth, by no means narrow; then a firm\nchin, with a decided cleft down the middle of it: of course, some black\nwhiskers were wanted, and some jetty hair, tufted on the temples, and\nwaved above the forehead.", "Now for the eyes: I had left them to the last,\nbecause they required the most careful working.", "I drew them large; I\nshaped them well: the eyelashes I traced long and sombre; the irids\nlustrous and large.", "\"Good!", "but not quite the thing,\" I thought, as I\nsurveyed the effect: \"they want more force and spirit;\" and I wrought the\nshades blacker, that the lights might flash more brilliantly--a happy\ntouch or two secured success.", "There, I had a friend's face under my\ngaze; and what did it signify that those young ladies turned their backs\non me?", "I looked at it; I smiled at the speaking likeness: I was absorbed\nand content.", "\"Is that a portrait of some one you know?\"", "asked Eliza, who had\napproached me unnoticed.", "I responded that it was merely a fancy head,\nand hurried it beneath the other sheets.", "Of course, I lied: it was, in\nfact, a very faithful representation of Mr. Rochester.", "But what was that\nto her, or to any one but myself?", "Georgiana also advanced to look.", "The\nother drawings pleased her much, but she called that \"an ugly man.\"", "They\nboth seemed surprised at my skill.", "I offered to sketch their portraits;\nand each, in turn, sat for a pencil outline.", "Then Georgiana produced her\nalbum.", "I promised to contribute a water-colour drawing: this put her at\nonce into good humour.", "She proposed a walk in the grounds.", "Before we\nhad been out two hours, we were deep in a confidential conversation: she\nhad favoured me with a description of the brilliant winter she had spent\nin London two seasons ago--of the admiration she had there excited--the\nattention she had received; and I even got hints of the titled conquest\nshe had made.", "In the course of the afternoon and evening these hints\nwere enlarged on: various soft conversations were reported, and\nsentimental scenes represented; and, in short, a volume of a novel of\nfashionable life was that day improvised by her for my benefit.", "The\ncommunications were renewed from day to day: they always ran on the same\ntheme--herself, her loves, and woes.", "It was strange she never once\nadverted either to her mother's illness, or her brother's death, or the\npresent gloomy state of the family prospects.", "Her mind seemed wholly\ntaken up with reminiscences of past gaiety, and aspirations after\ndissipations to come.", "She passed about five minutes each day in her\nmother's sick-room, and no more.", "Eliza still spoke little: she had evidently no time to talk.", "I never saw\na busier person than she seemed to be; yet it was difficult to say what\nshe did: or rather, to discover any result of her diligence.", "She had an\nalarm to call her up early.", "I know not how she occupied herself before\nbreakfast, but after that meal she divided her time into regular\nportions, and each hour had its allotted task.", "Three times a day she\nstudied a little book, which I found, on inspection, was a Common Prayer\nBook.", "I asked her once what was the great attraction of that volume, and\nshe said, \"the Rubric.\"", "Three hours she gave to stitching, with gold\nthread, the border of a square crimson cloth, almost large enough for a\ncarpet.", "In answer to my inquiries after the use of this article, she\ninformed me it was a covering for the altar of a new church lately\nerected near Gateshead.", "Two hours she devoted to her diary; two to\nworking by herself in the kitchen-garden; and one to the regulation of\nher accounts.", "She seemed to want no company; no conversation.", "I believe\nshe was happy in her way: this routine sufficed for her; and nothing\nannoyed her so much as the occurrence of any incident which forced her to\nvary its clockwork regularity.", "She told me one evening, when more disposed to be communicative than\nusual, that John's conduct, and the threatened ruin of the family, had\nbeen a source of profound affliction to her: but she had now, she said,\nsettled her mind, and formed her resolution.", "Her own fortune she had\ntaken care to secure; and when her mother died--and it was wholly\nimprobable, she tranquilly remarked, that she should either recover or\nlinger long--she would execute a long-cherished project: seek a\nretirement where punctual habits would be permanently secured from\ndisturbance, and place safe barriers between herself and a frivolous\nworld.", "I asked if Georgiana would accompany her.", "\"Of course not.", "Georgiana and she had nothing in common: they never had\nhad.", "She would not be burdened with her society for any consideration.", "Georgiana should take her own course; and she, Eliza, would take hers.\"", "Georgiana, when not unburdening her heart to me, spent most of her time\nin lying on the sofa, fretting about the dulness of the house, and\nwishing over and over again that her aunt Gibson would send her an\ninvitation up to town.", "\"It would be so much better,\" she said, \"if she\ncould only get out of the way for a month or two, till all was over.\"", "I\ndid not ask what she meant by \"all being over,\" but I suppose she\nreferred to the expected decease of her mother and the gloomy sequel of\nfuneral rites.", "Eliza generally took no more notice of her sister's\nindolence and complaints than if no such murmuring, lounging object had\nbeen before her.", "One day, however, as she put away her account-book and\nunfolded her embroidery, she suddenly took her up thus--\n\n\"Georgiana, a more vain and absurd animal than you was certainly never\nallowed to cumber the earth.", "You had no right to be born, for you make\nno use of life.", "Instead of living for, in, and with yourself, as a\nreasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some\nother person's strength: if no one can be found willing to burden her or\nhimself with such a fat, weak, puffy, useless thing, you cry out that you\nare ill-treated, neglected, miserable.", "Then, too, existence for you must\nbe a scene of continual change and excitement, or else the world is a\ndungeon: you must be admired, you must be courted, you must be\nflattered--you must have music, dancing, and society--or you languish,\nyou die away.", "Have you no sense to devise a system which will make you\nindependent of all efforts, and all wills, but your own?", "Take one day;\nshare it into sections; to each section apportion its task: leave no\nstray unemployed quarters of an hour, ten minutes, five minutes--include\nall; do each piece of business in its turn with method, with rigid\nregularity.", "The day will close almost before you are aware it has begun;\nand you are indebted to no one for helping you to get rid of one vacant\nmoment: you have had to seek no one's company, conversation, sympathy,\nforbearance; you have lived, in short, as an independent being ought to\ndo.", "Take this advice: the first and last I shall offer you; then you\nwill not want me or any one else, happen what may.", "Neglect it--go on as\nheretofore, craving, whining, and idling--and suffer the results of your\nidiocy, however bad and insuperable they may be.", "I tell you this\nplainly; and listen: for though I shall no more repeat what I am now\nabout to say, I shall steadily act on it.", "After my mother's death, I\nwash my hands of you: from the day her coffin is carried to the vault in\nGateshead Church, you and I will be as separate as if we had never known\neach other.", "You need not think that because we chanced to be born of the\nsame parents, I shall suffer you to fasten me down by even the feeblest\nclaim: I can tell you this--if the whole human race, ourselves excepted,\nwere swept away, and we two stood alone on the earth, I would leave you\nin the old world, and betake myself to the new.\"", "She closed her lips.", "\"You might have spared yourself the trouble of delivering that tirade,\"\nanswered Georgiana.", "\"Everybody knows you are the most selfish, heartless\ncreature in existence: and _I_ know your spiteful hatred towards me: I\nhave had a specimen of it before in the trick you played me about Lord\nEdwin Vere: you could not bear me to be raised above you, to have a\ntitle, to be received into circles where you dare not show your face, and\nso you acted the spy and informer, and ruined my prospects for ever.\"", "Georgiana took out her handkerchief and blew her nose for an hour\nafterwards; Eliza sat cold, impassable, and assiduously industrious.", "True, generous feeling is made small account of by some, but here were\ntwo natures rendered, the one intolerably acrid, the other despicably\nsavourless for the want of it.", "Feeling without judgment is a washy\ndraught indeed; but judgment untempered by feeling is too bitter and\nhusky a morsel for human deglutition.", "It was a wet and windy afternoon: Georgiana had fallen asleep on the sofa\nover the perusal of a novel; Eliza was gone to attend a saint's-day\nservice at the new church--for in matters of religion she was a rigid\nformalist: no weather ever prevented the punctual discharge of what she\nconsidered her devotional duties; fair or foul, she went to church thrice\nevery Sunday, and as often on week-days as there were prayers.", "I bethought myself to go upstairs and see how the dying woman sped, who\nlay there almost unheeded: the very servants paid her but a remittent\nattention: the hired nurse, being little looked after, would slip out of\nthe room whenever she could.", "Bessie was faithful; but she had her own\nfamily to mind, and could only come occasionally to the hall.", "I found\nthe sick-room unwatched, as I had expected: no nurse was there; the\npatient lay still, and seemingly lethargic; her livid face sunk in the\npillows: the fire was dying in the grate.", "I renewed the fuel,\nre-arranged the bedclothes, gazed awhile on her who could not now gaze on\nme, and then I moved away to the window.", "The rain beat strongly against the panes, the wind blew tempestuously:\n\"One lies there,\" I thought, \"who will soon be beyond the war of earthly\nelements.", "Whither will that spirit--now struggling to quit its material\ntenement--flit when at length released?\"", "In pondering the great mystery, I thought of Helen Burns, recalled her\ndying words--her faith--her doctrine of the equality of disembodied\nsouls.", "I was still listening in thought to her well-remembered\ntones--still picturing her pale and spiritual aspect, her wasted face and\nsublime gaze, as she lay on her placid deathbed, and whispered her\nlonging to be restored to her divine Father's bosom--when a feeble voice\nmurmured from the couch behind: \"Who is that?\"", "I knew Mrs. Reed had not spoken for days: was she reviving?", "I went up to\nher.", "\"It is I, Aunt Reed.\"", "\"Who--I?\"", "was her answer.", "\"Who are you?\"", "looking at me with surprise and\na sort of alarm, but still not wildly.", "\"You are quite a stranger to\nme--where is Bessie?\"", "\"She is at the lodge, aunt.\"", "\"Aunt,\" she repeated.", "\"Who calls me aunt?", "You are not one of the\nGibsons; and yet I know you--that face, and the eyes and forehead, are\nquiet familiar to me: you are like--why, you are like Jane Eyre!\"", "I said nothing: I was afraid of occasioning some shock by declaring my\nidentity.", "\"Yet,\" said she, \"I am afraid it is a mistake: my thoughts deceive me.", "I\nwished to see Jane Eyre, and I fancy a likeness where none exists:\nbesides, in eight years she must be so changed.\"", "I now gently assured\nher that I was the person she supposed and desired me to be: and seeing\nthat I was understood, and that her senses were quite collected, I\nexplained how Bessie had sent her husband to fetch me from Thornfield.", "\"I am very ill, I know,\" she said ere long.", "\"I was trying to turn myself\na few minutes since, and find I cannot move a limb.", "It is as well I\nshould ease my mind before I die: what we think little of in health,\nburdens us at such an hour as the present is to me.", "Is the nurse here?", "or is there no one in the room but you?\"", "I assured her we were alone.", "\"Well, I have twice done you a wrong which I regret now.", "One was in\nbreaking the promise which I gave my husband to bring you up as my own\nchild; the other--\" she stopped.", "\"After all, it is of no great\nimportance, perhaps,\" she murmured to herself: \"and then I may get\nbetter; and to humble myself so to her is painful.\"", "She made an effort to alter her position, but failed: her face changed;\nshe seemed to experience some inward sensation--the precursor, perhaps,\nof the last pang.", "\"Well, I must get it over.", "Eternity is before me: I had better tell\nher.--Go to my dressing-case, open it, and take out a letter you will see\nthere.\"", "I obeyed her directions.", "\"Read the letter,\" she said.", "It was short, and thus conceived:--\n\n \"Madam,--Will you have the goodness to send me the address of my\n niece, Jane Eyre, and to tell me how she is?", "It is my intention to\n write shortly and desire her to come to me at Madeira.", "Providence has\n blessed my endeavours to secure a competency; and as I am unmarried\n and childless, I wish to adopt her during my life, and bequeath her at\n my death whatever I may have to leave.--I am, Madam, &c., &c.,\n\n \"JOHN EYRE, Madeira.\"", "It was dated three years back.", "\"Why did I never hear of this?\"", "I asked.", "\"Because I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in\nlifting you to prosperity.", "I could not forget your conduct to me,\nJane--the fury with which you once turned on me; the tone in which you\ndeclared you abhorred me the worst of anybody in the world; the\nunchildlike look and voice with which you affirmed that the very thought\nof me made you sick, and asserted that I had treated you with miserable\ncruelty.", "I could not forget my own sensations when you thus started up\nand poured out the venom of your mind: I felt fear as if an animal that I\nhad struck or pushed had looked up at me with human eyes and cursed me in\na man's voice.--Bring me some water!", "Oh, make haste!\"", "\"Dear Mrs. Reed,\" said I, as I offered her the draught she required,\n\"think no more of all this, let it pass away from your mind.", "Forgive me\nfor my passionate language: I was a child then; eight, nine years have\npassed since that day.\"", "She heeded nothing of what I said; but when she had tasted the water and\ndrawn breath, she went on thus--\n\n\"I tell you I could not forget it; and I took my revenge: for you to be\nadopted by your uncle, and placed in a state of ease and comfort, was\nwhat I could not endure.", "I wrote to him; I said I was sorry for his\ndisappointment, but Jane Eyre was dead: she had died of typhus fever at\nLowood.", "Now act as you please: write and contradict my assertion--expose\nmy falsehood as soon as you like.", "You were born, I think, to be my\ntorment: my last hour is racked by the recollection of a deed which, but\nfor you, I should never have been tempted to commit.\"", "\"If you could but be persuaded to think no more of it, aunt, and to\nregard me with kindness and forgiveness\"\n\n\"You have a very bad disposition,\" said she, \"and one to this day I feel\nit impossible to understand: how for nine years you could be patient and\nquiescent under any treatment, and in the tenth break out all fire and\nviolence, I can never comprehend.\"", "\"My disposition is not so bad as you think: I am passionate, but not\nvindictive.", "Many a time, as a little child, I should have been glad to\nlove you if you would have let me; and I long earnestly to be reconciled\nto you now: kiss me, aunt.\"", "I approached my cheek to her lips: she would not touch it.", "She said I\noppressed her by leaning over the bed, and again demanded water.", "As I\nlaid her down--for I raised her and supported her on my arm while she\ndrank--I covered her ice-cold and clammy hand with mine: the feeble\nfingers shrank from my touch--the glazing eyes shunned my gaze.", "\"Love me, then, or hate me, as you will,\" I said at last, \"you have my\nfull and free forgiveness: ask now for God's, and be at peace.\"", "Poor, suffering woman!", "it was too late for her to make now the effort to\nchange her habitual frame of mind: living, she had ever hated me--dying,\nshe must hate me still.", "The nurse now entered, and Bessie followed.", "I yet lingered half-an-hour\nlonger, hoping to see some sign of amity: but she gave none.", "She was\nfast relapsing into stupor; nor did her mind again rally: at twelve\no'clock that night she died.", "I was not present to close her eyes, nor\nwere either of her daughters.", "They came to tell us the next morning that\nall was over.", "She was by that time laid out.", "Eliza and I went to look\nat her: Georgiana, who had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared\nnot go.", "There was stretched Sarah Reed's once robust and active frame,\nrigid and still: her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid; her brow\nand strong traits wore yet the impress of her inexorable soul.", "A strange\nand solemn object was that corpse to me.", "I gazed on it with gloom and\npain: nothing soft, nothing sweet, nothing pitying, or hopeful, or\nsubduing did it inspire; only a grating anguish for _her_ woes--not _my_\nloss--and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a\nform.", "Eliza surveyed her parent calmly.", "After a silence of some minutes she\nobserved--\n\n\"With her constitution she should have lived to a good old age: her life\nwas shortened by trouble.\"", "And then a spasm constricted her mouth for an\ninstant: as it passed away she turned and left the room, and so did I.", "Neither of us had dropt a tear." ]

[ "He\ntook the purse, poured the hoard into his palm, and chuckled over it as\nif its scantiness amused him.", "\"I\nknow she had a particular wish to see me,\" I added, \"and I would not\ndefer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely necessary.\"", "\"Oh, of course!", "\"Sit up!\"", "asked Eliza, who had\napproached me unnoticed.", "She had an\nalarm to call her up early.", "Neglect it--go on as\nheretofore, craving, whining, and idling--and suffer the results of your\nidiocy, however bad and insuperable they may be.", "was her answer.", "\"I am very ill, I know,\" she said ere long.", "Eliza and I went to look\nat her: Georgiana, who had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared\nnot go." ]

[ "\"The same, if you like, sir.\"", "Adele, as you say, must go to school; and you, of course, must march\nstraight to--the devil?\"", "\"Why, you see, Miss Eyre, it is not a common mishap: his life has been\nvery wild: these last three years he gave himself up to strange ways, and\nhis death was shocking.\"", "She continued either delirious or lethargic; and the doctor forbade\neverything which could painfully excite her.", "\"Yes, sir, he has lived ten years in the family.\"", "\"Then you and I must bid good-bye for a little while?\"", "This I felt sure was Eliza, though\nI could trace little resemblance to her former self in that elongated and\ncolourless visage.", "You need not think that because we chanced to be born of the\nsame parents, I shall suffer you to fasten me down by even the feeblest\nclaim: I can tell you this--if the whole human race, ourselves excepted,\nwere swept away, and we two stood alone on the earth, I would leave you\nin the old world, and betake myself to the new.\"", "Many a time, as a little child, I should have been glad to\nlove you if you would have let me; and I long earnestly to be reconciled\nto you now: kiss me, aunt.\"", "Providence has\n blessed my endeavours to secure a competency; and as I am unmarried\n and childless, I wish to adopt her during my life, and bequeath her at\n my death whatever I may have to leave.--I am, Madam, &c., &c.,\n\n \"JOHN EYRE, Madeira.\"" ]

[ "The fact was, I had other things to think about; within the\nlast few months feelings had been stirred in me so much more potent than\nany they could raise--pains and pleasures so much more acute and\nexquisite had been excited than any it was in their power to inflict or\nbestow--that their airs gave me no concern either for good or bad.", "\"How is Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana, who\nthought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an unexpected\nliberty.", "\"Mrs. Reed?", "Ah!", "mama, you mean; she is extremely poorly: I doubt if you\ncan see her to-night.\"", "\"If,\" said I, \"you would just step upstairs and tell her I am come, I\nshould be much obliged to you.\"", "Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes wild and wide.", "\"I\nknow she had a particular wish to see me,\" I added, \"and I would not\ndefer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely necessary.\"", "\"Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening,\" remarked Eliza." ]

[ "\n\nPresentiments are strange things!", "and so are sympathies; and so are\nsigns; and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not\nyet found the key.", "I never laughed at presentiments in my life, because\nI have had strange ones of my own.", "Sympathies, I believe, exist (for\ninstance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives\nasserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the unity of the source to\nwhich each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal comprehension.", "And signs, for aught we know, may be but the sympathies of Nature with\nman.", "When I was a little girl, only six years old, I one night heard Bessie\nLeaven say to Martha Abbot that she had been dreaming about a little\nchild; and that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble, either\nto one's self or one's kin.", "The saying might have worn out of my memory,\nhad not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix\nit there.", "The next day Bessie was sent for home to the deathbed of her\nlittle sister.", "Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during\nthe past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not\nbrought with it a dream of an infant, which I sometimes hushed in my\narms, sometimes dandled on my knee, sometimes watched playing with\ndaisies on a lawn, or again, dabbling its hands in running water.", "It was\na wailing child this night, and a laughing one the next: now it nestled\nclose to me, and now it ran from me; but whatever mood the apparition\nevinced, whatever aspect it wore, it failed not for seven successive\nnights to meet me the moment I entered the land of slumber.", "They came to tell us the next morning that\nall was over.", "She was by that time laid out.", "Eliza and I went to look\nat her: Georgiana, who had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared\nnot go.", "There was stretched Sarah Reed's once robust and active frame,\nrigid and still: her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid; her brow\nand strong traits wore yet the impress of her inexorable soul.", "A strange\nand solemn object was that corpse to me.", "I gazed on it with gloom and\npain: nothing soft, nothing sweet, nothing pitying, or hopeful, or\nsubduing did it inspire; only a grating anguish for _her_ woes--not _my_\nloss--and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a\nform.", "Eliza surveyed her parent calmly.", "After a silence of some minutes she\nobserved--\n\n\"With her constitution she should have lived to a good old age: her life\nwas shortened by trouble.\"", "And then a spasm constricted her mouth for an\ninstant: as it passed away she turned and left the room, and so did I.", "Neither of us had dropt a tear." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester had given me but one week's leave of absence: yet a month\nelapsed before I quitted Gateshead.", "I wished to leave immediately after\nthe funeral, but Georgiana entreated me to stay till she could get off to\nLondon, whither she was now at last invited by her uncle, Mr. Gibson, who\nhad come down to direct his sister's interment and settle the family\naffairs.", "Georgiana said she dreaded being left alone with Eliza; from\nher she got neither sympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor\naid in her preparations; so I bore with her feeble-minded wailings and\nselfish lamentations as well as I could, and did my best in sewing for\nher and packing her dresses.", "It is true, that while I worked, she would\nidle; and I thought to myself, \"If you and I were destined to live always\ntogether, cousin, we would commence matters on a different footing.", "I\nshould not settle tamely down into being the forbearing party; I should\nassign you your share of labour, and compel you to accomplish it, or else\nit should be left undone: I should insist, also, on your keeping some of\nthose drawling, half-insincere complaints hushed in your own breast.", "It\nis only because our connection happens to be very transitory, and comes\nat a peculiarly mournful season, that I consent thus to render it so\npatient and compliant on my part.\"", "At last I saw Georgiana off; but now it was Eliza's turn to request me to\nstay another week.", "Her plans required all her time and attention, she\nsaid; she was about to depart for some unknown bourne; and all day long\nshe stayed in her own room, her door bolted within, filling trunks,\nemptying drawers, burning papers, and holding no communication with any\none.", "She wished me to look after the house, to see callers, and answer\nnotes of condolence.", "One morning she told me I was at liberty.", "\"And,\" she added, \"I am\nobliged to you for your valuable services and discreet conduct!", "There is\nsome difference between living with such an one as you and with\nGeorgiana: you perform your own part in life and burden no one.", "To-morrow,\" she continued, \"I set out for the Continent.", "I shall take up\nmy abode in a religious house near Lisle--a nunnery you would call it;\nthere I shall be quiet and unmolested.", "I shall devote myself for a time\nto the examination of the Roman Catholic dogmas, and to a careful study\nof the workings of their system: if I find it to be, as I half suspect it\nis, the one best calculated to ensure the doing of all things decently\nand in order, I shall embrace the tenets of Rome and probably take the\nveil.\"", "I neither expressed surprise at this resolution nor attempted to dissuade\nher from it.", "\"The vocation will fit you to a hair,\" I thought: \"much\ngood may it do you!\"", "When we parted, she said: \"Good-bye, cousin Jane Eyre; I wish you well:\nyou have some sense.\"", "I then returned: \"You are not without sense, cousin Eliza; but what you\nhave, I suppose, in another year will be walled up alive in a French\nconvent.", "However, it is not my business, and so it suits you, I don't\nmuch care.\"", "\"You are in the right,\" said she; and with these words we each went our\nseparate way.", "As I shall not have occasion to refer either to her or her\nsister again, I may as well mention here, that Georgiana made an\nadvantageous match with a wealthy worn-out man of fashion, and that Eliza\nactually took the veil, and is at this day superior of the convent where\nshe passed the period of her novitiate, and which she endowed with her\nfortune.", "How people feel when they are returning home from an absence, long or\nshort, I did not know: I had never experienced the sensation.", "I had\nknown what it was to come back to Gateshead when a child after a long\nwalk, to be scolded for looking cold or gloomy; and later, what it was to\ncome back from church to Lowood, to long for a plenteous meal and a good\nfire, and to be unable to get either.", "Neither of these returnings was\nvery pleasant or desirable: no magnet drew me to a given point,\nincreasing in its strength of attraction the nearer I came.", "The return\nto Thornfield was yet to be tried.", "My journey seemed tedious--very tedious: fifty miles one day, a night\nspent at an inn; fifty miles the next day.", "During the first twelve hours\nI thought of Mrs. Reed in her last moments; I saw her disfigured and\ndiscoloured face, and heard her strangely altered voice.", "I mused on the\nfuneral day, the coffin, the hearse, the black train of tenants and\nservants--few was the number of relatives--the gaping vault, the silent\nchurch, the solemn service.", "Then I thought of Eliza and Georgiana; I\nbeheld one the cynosure of a ball-room, the other the inmate of a convent\ncell; and I dwelt on and analysed their separate peculiarities of person\nand character.", "The evening arrival at the great town of--scattered these\nthoughts; night gave them quite another turn: laid down on my traveller's\nbed, I left reminiscence for anticipation.", "I was going back to Thornfield: but how long was I to stay there?", "Not\nlong; of that I was sure.", "I had heard from Mrs. Fairfax in the interim\nof my absence: the party at the hall was dispersed; Mr. Rochester had\nleft for London three weeks ago, but he was then expected to return in a\nfortnight.", "Mrs. Fairfax surmised that he was gone to make arrangements\nfor his wedding, as he had talked of purchasing a new carriage: she said\nthe idea of his marrying Miss Ingram still seemed strange to her; but\nfrom what everybody said, and from what she had herself seen, she could\nno longer doubt that the event would shortly take place.", "\"You would be\nstrangely incredulous if you did doubt it,\" was my mental comment.", "\"I\ndon't doubt it.\"", "The question followed, \"Where was I to go?\"", "I dreamt of Miss Ingram all\nthe night: in a vivid morning dream I saw her closing the gates of\nThornfield against me and pointing me out another road; and Mr. Rochester\nlooked on with his arms folded--smiling sardonically, as it seemed, at\nboth her and me.", "I had not notified to Mrs. Fairfax the exact day of my return; for I did\nnot wish either car or carriage to meet me at Millcote.", "I proposed to\nwalk the distance quietly by myself; and very quietly, after leaving my\nbox in the ostler's care, did I slip away from the George Inn, about six\no'clock of a June evening, and take the old road to Thornfield: a road\nwhich lay chiefly through fields, and was now little frequented.", "It was not a bright or splendid summer evening, though fair and soft: the\nhaymakers were at work all along the road; and the sky, though far from\ncloudless, was such as promised well for the future: its blue--where blue\nwas visible--was mild and settled, and its cloud strata high and thin.", "The west, too, was warm: no watery gleam chilled it--it seemed as if\nthere was a fire lit, an altar burning behind its screen of marbled\nvapour, and out of apertures shone a golden redness.", "I felt glad as the road shortened before me: so glad that I stopped once\nto ask myself what that joy meant: and to remind reason that it was not\nto my home I was going, or to a permanent resting-place, or to a place\nwhere fond friends looked out for me and waited my arrival.", "\"Mrs.\nFairfax will smile you a calm welcome, to be sure,\" said I; \"and little\nAdele will clap her hands and jump to see you: but you know very well you\nare thinking of another than they, and that he is not thinking of you.\"", "But what is so headstrong as youth?", "What so blind as inexperience?", "These\naffirmed that it was pleasure enough to have the privilege of again\nlooking on Mr. Rochester, whether he looked on me or not; and they\nadded--\"Hasten!", "hasten!", "be with him while you may: but a few more days or\nweeks, at most, and you are parted from him for ever!\"", "And then I\nstrangled a new-born agony--a deformed thing which I could not persuade\nmyself to own and rear--and ran on.", "They are making hay, too, in Thornfield meadows: or rather, the labourers\nare just quitting their work, and returning home with their rakes on\ntheir shoulders, now, at the hour I arrive.", "I have but a field or two to\ntraverse, and then I shall cross the road and reach the gates.", "How full\nthe hedges are of roses!", "But I have no time to gather any; I want to be\nat the house.", "I passed a tall briar, shooting leafy and flowery branches\nacross the path; I see the narrow stile with stone steps; and I see--Mr.\nRochester sitting there, a book and a pencil in his hand; he is writing.", "Well, he is not a ghost; yet every nerve I have is unstrung: for a moment\nI am beyond my own mastery.", "What does it mean?", "I did not think I should\ntremble in this way when I saw him, or lose my voice or the power of\nmotion in his presence.", "I will go back as soon as I can stir: I need not\nmake an absolute fool of myself.", "I know another way to the house.", "It\ndoes not signify if I knew twenty ways; for he has seen me.", "\"Hillo!\"", "he cries; and he puts up his book and his pencil.", "\"There you\nare!", "Come on, if you please.\"", "I suppose I do come on; though in what fashion I know not; being scarcely\ncognisant of my movements, and solicitous only to appear calm; and, above\nall, to control the working muscles of my face--which I feel rebel\ninsolently against my will, and struggle to express what I had resolved\nto conceal.", "But I have a veil--it is down: I may make shift yet to\nbehave with decent composure.", "\"And this is Jane Eyre?", "Are you coming from Millcote, and on foot?", "Yes--just one of your tricks: not to send for a carriage, and come\nclattering over street and road like a common mortal, but to steal into\nthe vicinage of your home along with twilight, just as if you were a\ndream or a shade.", "What the deuce have you done with yourself this last\nmonth?\"", "\"I have been with my aunt, sir, who is dead.\"", "\"A true Janian reply!", "Good angels be my guard!", "She comes from the other\nworld--from the abode of people who are dead; and tells me so when she\nmeets me alone here in the gloaming!", "If I dared, I'd touch you, to see\nif you are substance or shadow, you elf!--but I'd as soon offer to take\nhold of a blue _ignis fatuus_ light in a marsh.", "Truant!", "truant!\"", "he\nadded, when he had paused an instant.", "\"Absent from me a whole month, and\nforgetting me quite, I'll be sworn!\"", "I knew there would be pleasure in meeting my master again, even though\nbroken by the fear that he was so soon to cease to be my master, and by\nthe knowledge that I was nothing to him: but there was ever in Mr.\nRochester (so at least I thought) such a wealth of the power of\ncommunicating happiness, that to taste but of the crumbs he scattered to\nstray and stranger birds like me, was to feast genially.", "His last words\nwere balm: they seemed to imply that it imported something to him whether\nI forgot him or not.", "And he had spoken of Thornfield as my home--would\nthat it were my home!", "He did not leave the stile, and I hardly liked to ask to go by.", "I\ninquired soon if he had not been to London.", "\"Yes; I suppose you found that out by second-sight.\"", "\"Mrs. Fairfax told me in a letter.\"", "\"And did she inform you what I went to do?\"", "\"Oh, yes, sir!", "Everybody knew your errand.\"", "\"You must see the carriage, Jane, and tell me if you don't think it will\nsuit Mrs. Rochester exactly; and whether she won't look like Queen\nBoadicea, leaning back against those purple cushions.", "I wish, Jane, I\nwere a trifle better adapted to match with her externally.", "Tell me now,\nfairy as you are--can't you give me a charm, or a philter, or something\nof that sort, to make me a handsome man?\"", "\"It would be past the power of magic, sir;\" and, in thought, I added, \"A\nloving eye is all the charm needed: to such you are handsome enough; or\nrather your sternness has a power beyond beauty.\"", "Mr. Rochester had sometimes read my unspoken thoughts with an acumen to\nme incomprehensible: in the present instance he took no notice of my\nabrupt vocal response; but he smiled at me with a certain smile he had of\nhis own, and which he used but on rare occasions.", "He seemed to think it\ntoo good for common purposes: it was the real sunshine of feeling--he\nshed it over me now.", "\"Pass, Janet,\" said he, making room for me to cross the stile: \"go up\nhome, and stay your weary little wandering feet at a friend's threshold.\"", "All I had now to do was to obey him in silence: no need for me to\ncolloquise further.", "I got over the stile without a word, and meant to\nleave him calmly.", "An impulse held me fast--a force turned me round.", "I\nsaid--or something in me said for me, and in spite of me--\n\n\"Thank you, Mr. Rochester, for your great kindness.", "I am strangely glad\nto get back again to you: and wherever you are is my home--my only home.\"", "I walked on so fast that even he could hardly have overtaken me had he\ntried.", "Little Adele was half wild with delight when she saw me.", "Mrs.\nFairfax received me with her usual plain friendliness.", "Leah smiled, and\neven Sophie bid me \"bon soir\" with glee.", "This was very pleasant; there\nis no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and\nfeeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.", "I that evening shut my eyes resolutely against the future: I stopped my\nears against the voice that kept warning me of near separation and coming\ngrief.", "When tea was over and Mrs. Fairfax had taken her knitting, and I\nhad assumed a low seat near her, and Adele, kneeling on the carpet, had\nnestled close up to me, and a sense of mutual affection seemed to\nsurround us with a ring of golden peace, I uttered a silent prayer that\nwe might not be parted far or soon; but when, as we thus sat, Mr.\nRochester entered, unannounced, and looking at us, seemed to take\npleasure in the spectacle of a group so amicable--when he said he\nsupposed the old lady was all right now that she had got her adopted\ndaughter back again, and added that he saw Adele was \"prete a croquer sa\npetite maman Anglaise\"--I half ventured to hope that he would, even after\nhis marriage, keep us together somewhere under the shelter of his\nprotection, and not quite exiled from the sunshine of his presence.", "A fortnight of dubious calm succeeded my return to Thornfield Hall.", "Nothing was said of the master's marriage, and I saw no preparation going\non for such an event.", "Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had\nyet heard anything decided: her answer was always in the negative.", "Once\nshe said she had actually put the question to Mr. Rochester as to when he\nwas going to bring his bride home; but he had answered her only by a joke\nand one of his queer looks, and she could not tell what to make of him.", "One thing specially surprised me, and that was, there were no journeyings\nbackward and forward, no visits to Ingram Park: to be sure it was twenty\nmiles off, on the borders of another county; but what was that distance\nto an ardent lover?", "To so practised and indefatigable a horseman as Mr.\nRochester, it would be but a morning's ride.", "I began to cherish hopes I\nhad no right to conceive: that the match was broken off; that rumour had\nbeen mistaken; that one or both parties had changed their minds.", "I used\nto look at my master's face to see if it were sad or fierce; but I could\nnot remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or\nevil feelings.", "If, in the moments I and my pupil spent with him, I\nlacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection, he became even gay.", "Never had he called me more frequently to his presence; never been kinder\nto me when there--and, alas!", "never had I loved him so well." ]

[ "\"And,\" she added, \"I am\nobliged to you for your valuable services and discreet conduct!", "I was going back to Thornfield: but how long was I to stay there?", "What does it mean?", "But I have a veil--it is down: I may make shift yet to\nbehave with decent composure.", "If I dared, I'd touch you, to see\nif you are substance or shadow, you elf!--but I'd as soon offer to take\nhold of a blue _ignis fatuus_ light in a marsh.", "\"Mrs. Fairfax told me in a letter.\"", "He seemed to think it\ntoo good for common purposes: it was the real sunshine of feeling--he\nshed it over me now.", "\"Pass, Janet,\" said he, making room for me to cross the stile: \"go up\nhome, and stay your weary little wandering feet at a friend's threshold.\"", "An impulse held me fast--a force turned me round.", "Nothing was said of the master's marriage, and I saw no preparation going\non for such an event." ]

[ "Come on, if you please.\"", "I did not think I should\ntremble in this way when I saw him, or lose my voice or the power of\nmotion in his presence.", "He seemed to think it\ntoo good for common purposes: it was the real sunshine of feeling--he\nshed it over me now.", "I dreamt of Miss Ingram all\nthe night: in a vivid morning dream I saw her closing the gates of\nThornfield against me and pointing me out another road; and Mr. Rochester\nlooked on with his arms folded--smiling sardonically, as it seemed, at\nboth her and me.", "\"You must see the carriage, Jane, and tell me if you don't think it will\nsuit Mrs. Rochester exactly; and whether she won't look like Queen\nBoadicea, leaning back against those purple cushions.", "When we parted, she said: \"Good-bye, cousin Jane Eyre; I wish you well:\nyou have some sense.\"", "truant!\"", "One morning she told me I was at liberty.", "Good angels be my guard!", "All I had now to do was to obey him in silence: no need for me to\ncolloquise further." ]

[ "I passed a tall briar, shooting leafy and flowery branches\nacross the path; I see the narrow stile with stone steps; and I see--Mr.\nRochester sitting there, a book and a pencil in his hand; he is writing.", "Well, he is not a ghost; yet every nerve I have is unstrung: for a moment\nI am beyond my own mastery.", "What does it mean?", "I did not think I should\ntremble in this way when I saw him, or lose my voice or the power of\nmotion in his presence.", "I will go back as soon as I can stir: I need not\nmake an absolute fool of myself.", "I know another way to the house.", "It\ndoes not signify if I knew twenty ways; for he has seen me.", "\"Hillo!\"", "he cries; and he puts up his book and his pencil.", "\"There you\nare!", "Come on, if you please.\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester had given me but one week's leave of absence: yet a month\nelapsed before I quitted Gateshead.", "I wished to leave immediately after\nthe funeral, but Georgiana entreated me to stay till she could get off to\nLondon, whither she was now at last invited by her uncle, Mr. Gibson, who\nhad come down to direct his sister's interment and settle the family\naffairs.", "Georgiana said she dreaded being left alone with Eliza; from\nher she got neither sympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor\naid in her preparations; so I bore with her feeble-minded wailings and\nselfish lamentations as well as I could, and did my best in sewing for\nher and packing her dresses.", "It is true, that while I worked, she would\nidle; and I thought to myself, \"If you and I were destined to live always\ntogether, cousin, we would commence matters on a different footing.", "I\nshould not settle tamely down into being the forbearing party; I should\nassign you your share of labour, and compel you to accomplish it, or else\nit should be left undone: I should insist, also, on your keeping some of\nthose drawling, half-insincere complaints hushed in your own breast.", "It\nis only because our connection happens to be very transitory, and comes\nat a peculiarly mournful season, that I consent thus to render it so\npatient and compliant on my part.\"", "At last I saw Georgiana off; but now it was Eliza's turn to request me to\nstay another week.", "Her plans required all her time and attention, she\nsaid; she was about to depart for some unknown bourne; and all day long\nshe stayed in her own room, her door bolted within, filling trunks,\nemptying drawers, burning papers, and holding no communication with any\none.", "She wished me to look after the house, to see callers, and answer\nnotes of condolence.", "One morning she told me I was at liberty.", "Nothing was said of the master's marriage, and I saw no preparation going\non for such an event.", "Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had\nyet heard anything decided: her answer was always in the negative.", "Once\nshe said she had actually put the question to Mr. Rochester as to when he\nwas going to bring his bride home; but he had answered her only by a joke\nand one of his queer looks, and she could not tell what to make of him.", "One thing specially surprised me, and that was, there were no journeyings\nbackward and forward, no visits to Ingram Park: to be sure it was twenty\nmiles off, on the borders of another county; but what was that distance\nto an ardent lover?", "To so practised and indefatigable a horseman as Mr.\nRochester, it would be but a morning's ride.", "I began to cherish hopes I\nhad no right to conceive: that the match was broken off; that rumour had\nbeen mistaken; that one or both parties had changed their minds.", "I used\nto look at my master's face to see if it were sad or fierce; but I could\nnot remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or\nevil feelings.", "If, in the moments I and my pupil spent with him, I\nlacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection, he became even gay.", "Never had he called me more frequently to his presence; never been kinder\nto me when there--and, alas!", "never had I loved him so well." ]

[ "\n\nA splendid Midsummer shone over England: skies so pure, suns so radiant\nas were then seen in long succession, seldom favour even singly, our wave-\ngirt land.", "It was as if a band of Italian days had come from the South,\nlike a flock of glorious passenger birds, and lighted to rest them on the\ncliffs of Albion.", "The hay was all got in; the fields round Thornfield\nwere green and shorn; the roads white and baked; the trees were in their\ndark prime; hedge and wood, full-leaved and deeply tinted, contrasted\nwell with the sunny hue of the cleared meadows between.", "On Midsummer-eve, Adele, weary with gathering wild strawberries in Hay\nLane half the day, had gone to bed with the sun.", "I watched her drop\nasleep, and when I left her, I sought the garden.", "It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty-four:--\"Day its fervid fires\nhad wasted,\" and dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit.", "Where the sun had gone down in simple state--pure of the pomp of\nclouds--spread a solemn purple, burning with the light of red jewel and\nfurnace flame at one point, on one hill-peak, and extending high and\nwide, soft and still softer, over half heaven.", "The east had its own\ncharm or fine deep blue, and its own modest gem, a casino and solitary\nstar: soon it would boast the moon; but she was yet beneath the horizon.", "I walked a while on the pavement; but a subtle, well-known scent--that of\na cigar--stole from some window; I saw the library casement open a\nhandbreadth; I knew I might be watched thence; so I went apart into the\norchard.", "No nook in the grounds more sheltered and more Eden-like; it\nwas full of trees, it bloomed with flowers: a very high wall shut it out\nfrom the court, on one side; on the other, a beech avenue screened it\nfrom the lawn.", "At the bottom was a sunk fence; its sole separation from\nlonely fields: a winding walk, bordered with laurels and terminating in a\ngiant horse-chestnut, circled at the base by a seat, led down to the\nfence.", "Here one could wander unseen.", "While such honey-dew fell, such\nsilence reigned, such gloaming gathered, I felt as if I could haunt such\nshade for ever; but in threading the flower and fruit parterres at the\nupper part of the enclosure, enticed there by the light the now rising\nmoon cast on this more open quarter, my step is stayed--not by sound, not\nby sight, but once more by a warning fragrance.", "Sweet-briar and southernwood, jasmine, pink, and rose have long been\nyielding their evening sacrifice of incense: this new scent is neither of\nshrub nor flower; it is--I know it well--it is Mr. Rochester's cigar.", "I\nlook round and I listen.", "I see trees laden with ripening fruit.", "I hear\na nightingale warbling in a wood half a mile off; no moving form is\nvisible, no coming step audible; but that perfume increases: I must flee.", "I make for the wicket leading to the shrubbery, and I see Mr. Rochester\nentering.", "I step aside into the ivy recess; he will not stay long: he\nwill soon return whence he came, and if I sit still he will never see me.", "But no--eventide is as pleasant to him as to me, and this antique garden\nas attractive; and he strolls on, now lifting the gooseberry-tree\nbranches to look at the fruit, large as plums, with which they are laden;\nnow taking a ripe cherry from the wall; now stooping towards a knot of\nflowers, either to inhale their fragrance or to admire the dew-beads on\ntheir petals.", "A great moth goes humming by me; it alights on a plant at\nMr. Rochester's foot: he sees it, and bends to examine it.", "\"Now, he has his back towards me,\" thought I, \"and he is occupied too;\nperhaps, if I walk softly, I can slip away unnoticed.\"", "I trode on an edging of turf that the crackle of the pebbly gravel might\nnot betray me: he was standing among the beds at a yard or two distant\nfrom where I had to pass; the moth apparently engaged him.", "\"I shall get\nby very well,\" I meditated.", "As I crossed his shadow, thrown long over\nthe garden by the moon, not yet risen high, he said quietly, without\nturning--\n\n\"Jane, come and look at this fellow.\"", "I had made no noise: he had not eyes behind--could his shadow feel?", "I\nstarted at first, and then I approached him.", "\"Look at his wings,\" said he, \"he reminds me rather of a West Indian\ninsect; one does not often see so large and gay a night-rover in England;\nthere!", "he is flown.\"", "The moth roamed away.", "I was sheepishly retreating also; but Mr.\nRochester followed me, and when we reached the wicket, he said--\n\n\"Turn back: on so lovely a night it is a shame to sit in the house; and\nsurely no one can wish to go to bed while sunset is thus at meeting with\nmoonrise.\"", "It is one of my faults, that though my tongue is sometimes prompt enough\nat an answer, there are times when it sadly fails me in framing an\nexcuse; and always the lapse occurs at some crisis, when a facile word or\nplausible pretext is specially wanted to get me out of painful\nembarrassment.", "I did not like to walk at this hour alone with Mr.\nRochester in the shadowy orchard; but I could not find a reason to allege\nfor leaving him.", "I followed with lagging step, and thoughts busily bent\non discovering a means of extrication; but he himself looked so composed\nand so grave also, I became ashamed of feeling any confusion: the evil--if\nevil existent or prospective there was--seemed to lie with me only; his\nmind was unconscious and quiet.", "\"Jane,\" he recommenced, as we entered the laurel walk, and slowly strayed\ndown in the direction of the sunk fence and the horse-chestnut,\n\"Thornfield is a pleasant place in summer, is it not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"You must have become in some degree attached to the house,--you, who\nhave an eye for natural beauties, and a good deal of the organ of\nAdhesiveness?\"", "\"I am attached to it, indeed.\"", "\"And though I don't comprehend how it is, I perceive you have acquired a\ndegree of regard for that foolish little child Adele, too; and even for\nsimple dame Fairfax?\"", "\"Yes, sir; in different ways, I have an affection for both.\"", "\"And would be sorry to part with them?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Pity!\"", "he said, and sighed and paused.", "\"It is always the way of events\nin this life,\" he continued presently: \"no sooner have you got settled in\na pleasant resting-place, than a voice calls out to you to rise and move\non, for the hour of repose is expired.\"", "\"Must I move on, sir?\"", "I asked.", "\"Must I leave Thornfield?\"", "\"I believe you must, Jane.", "I am sorry, Janet, but I believe indeed you\nmust.\"", "This was a blow: but I did not let it prostrate me.", "\"Well, sir, I shall be ready when the order to march comes.\"", "\"It is come now--I must give it to-night.\"", "\"Then you _are_ going to be married, sir?\"", "\"Ex-act-ly--pre-cise-ly: with your usual acuteness, you have hit the nail\nstraight on the head.\"", "\"Soon, sir?\"", "\"Very soon, my--that is, Miss Eyre: and you'll remember, Jane, the first\ntime I, or Rumour, plainly intimated to you that it was my intention to\nput my old bachelor's neck into the sacred noose, to enter into the holy\nestate of matrimony--to take Miss Ingram to my bosom, in short (she's an\nextensive armful: but that's not to the point--one can't have too much of\nsuch a very excellent thing as my beautiful Blanche): well, as I was\nsaying--listen to me, Jane!", "You're not turning your head to look after\nmore moths, are you?", "That was only a lady-clock, child, 'flying away\nhome.'", "I wish to remind you that it was you who first said to me, with\nthat discretion I respect in you--with that foresight, prudence, and\nhumility which befit your responsible and dependent position--that in\ncase I married Miss Ingram, both you and little Adele had better trot\nforthwith.", "I pass over the sort of slur conveyed in this suggestion on\nthe character of my beloved; indeed, when you are far away, Janet, I'll\ntry to forget it: I shall notice only its wisdom; which is such that I\nhave made it my law of action.", "Adele must go to school; and you, Miss\nEyre, must get a new situation.\"", "\"Yes, sir, I will advertise immediately: and meantime, I suppose--\" I was\ngoing to say, \"I suppose I may stay here, till I find another shelter to\nbetake myself to:\" but I stopped, feeling it would not do to risk a long\nsentence, for my voice was not quite under command.", "\"In about a month I hope to be a bridegroom,\" continued Mr. Rochester;\n\"and in the interim, I shall myself look out for employment and an asylum\nfor you.\"", "\"Thank you, sir; I am sorry to give--\"\n\n\"Oh, no need to apologise!", "I consider that when a dependent does her\nduty as well as you have done yours, she has a sort of claim upon her\nemployer for any little assistance he can conveniently render her; indeed\nI have already, through my future mother-in-law, heard of a place that I\nthink will suit: it is to undertake the education of the five daughters\nof Mrs. Dionysius O'Gall of Bitternutt Lodge, Connaught, Ireland.", "You'll\nlike Ireland, I think: they're such warm-hearted people there, they say.\"", "\"It is a long way off, sir.\"", "\"No matter--a girl of your sense will not object to the voyage or the\ndistance.\"", "\"Not the voyage, but the distance: and then the sea is a barrier--\"\n\n\"From what, Jane?\"", "\"From England and from Thornfield: and--\"\n\n\"Well?\"", "\"From _you_, sir.\"", "I said this almost involuntarily, and, with as little sanction of free\nwill, my tears gushed out.", "I did not cry so as to be heard, however; I\navoided sobbing.", "The thought of Mrs. O'Gall and Bitternutt Lodge struck\ncold to my heart; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam,\ndestined, as it seemed, to rush between me and the master at whose side I\nnow walked, and coldest the remembrance of the wider ocean--wealth,\ncaste, custom intervened between me and what I naturally and inevitably\nloved.", "\"It is a long way,\" I again said.", "\"It is, to be sure; and when you get to Bitternutt Lodge, Connaught,\nIreland, I shall never see you again, Jane: that's morally certain.", "I\nnever go over to Ireland, not having myself much of a fancy for the\ncountry.", "We have been good friends, Jane; have we not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And when friends are on the eve of separation, they like to spend the\nlittle time that remains to them close to each other.", "Come!", "we'll talk\nover the voyage and the parting quietly half-an-hour or so, while the\nstars enter into their shining life up in heaven yonder: here is the\nchestnut tree: here is the bench at its old roots.", "Come, we will sit\nthere in peace to-night, though we should never more be destined to sit\nthere together.\"", "He seated me and himself.", "\"It is a long way to Ireland, Janet, and I am sorry to send my little\nfriend on such weary travels: but if I can't do better, how is it to be\nhelped?", "Are you anything akin to me, do you think, Jane?\"", "I could risk no sort of answer by this time: my heart was still.", "\"Because,\" he said, \"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to\nyou--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string\nsomewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a\nsimilar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little\nframe.", "And if that boisterous Channel, and two hundred miles or so of\nland come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be\nsnapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.", "As for you,--you'd forget me.\"", "\"That I _never_ should, sir: you know--\" Impossible to proceed.", "\"Jane, do you hear that nightingale singing in the wood?", "Listen!\"", "In listening, I sobbed convulsively; for I could repress what I endured\nno longer; I was obliged to yield, and I was shaken from head to foot\nwith acute distress.", "When I did speak, it was only to express an\nimpetuous wish that I had never been born, or never come to Thornfield.", "\"Because you are sorry to leave it?\"", "The vehemence of emotion, stirred by grief and love within me, was\nclaiming mastery, and struggling for full sway, and asserting a right to\npredominate, to overcome, to live, rise, and reign at last: yes,--and to\nspeak.", "\"I grieve to leave Thornfield: I love Thornfield:--I love it, because I\nhave lived in it a full and delightful life,--momentarily at least.", "I\nhave not been trampled on.", "I have not been petrified.", "I have not been\nburied with inferior minds, and excluded from every glimpse of communion\nwith what is bright and energetic and high.", "I have talked, face to face,\nwith what I reverence, with what I delight in,--with an original, a\nvigorous, an expanded mind.", "I have known you, Mr. Rochester; and it\nstrikes me with terror and anguish to feel I absolutely must be torn from\nyou for ever.", "I see the necessity of departure; and it is like looking\non the necessity of death.\"", "\"Where do you see the necessity?\"", "he asked suddenly.", "\"Where?", "You, sir, have placed it before me.\"", "\"In what shape?\"", "\"In the shape of Miss Ingram; a noble and beautiful woman,--your bride.\"", "\"My bride!", "What bride?", "I have no bride!\"", "\"But you will have.\"", "\"Yes;--I will!--I will!\"", "He set his teeth.", "\"Then I must go:--you have said it yourself.\"", "\"No: you must stay!", "I swear it--and the oath shall be kept.\"", "\"I tell you I must go!\"", "I retorted, roused to something like passion.", "\"Do\nyou think I can stay to become nothing to you?", "Do you think I am an\nautomaton?--a machine without feelings?", "and can bear to have my morsel of\nbread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my\ncup?", "Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am\nsoulless and heartless?", "You think wrong!--I have as much soul as\nyou,--and full as much heart!", "And if God had gifted me with some beauty\nand much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it\nis now for me to leave you.", "I am not talking to you now through the\nmedium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;--it is my\nspirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the\ngrave, and we stood at God's feet, equal,--as we are!\"", "\"As we are!\"", "repeated Mr. Rochester--\"so,\" he added, enclosing me in his\narms.", "Gathering me to his breast, pressing his lips on my lips: \"so,\nJane!\"", "\"Yes, so, sir,\" I rejoined: \"and yet not so; for you are a married man--or\nas good as a married man, and wed to one inferior to you--to one with\nwhom you have no sympathy--whom I do not believe you truly love; for I\nhave seen and heard you sneer at her.", "I would scorn such a union:\ntherefore I am better than you--let me go!\"", "\"Where, Jane?", "To Ireland?\"", "\"Yes--to Ireland.", "I have spoken my mind, and can go anywhere now.\"", "\"Jane, be still; don't struggle so, like a wild frantic bird that is\nrending its own plumage in its desperation.\"", "\"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an\nindependent will, which I now exert to leave you.\"", "Another effort set me at liberty, and I stood erect before him.", "\"And your will shall decide your destiny,\" he said: \"I offer you my hand,\nmy heart, and a share of all my possessions.\"", "\"You play a farce, which I merely laugh at.\"", "\"I ask you to pass through life at my side--to be my second self, and\nbest earthly companion.\"", "\"For that fate you have already made your choice, and must abide by it.\"", "\"Jane, be still a few moments: you are over-excited: I will be still\ntoo.\"", "A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel-walk, and trembled through\nthe boughs of the chestnut: it wandered away--away--to an indefinite\ndistance--it died.", "The nightingale's song was then the only voice of the\nhour: in listening to it, I again wept.", "Mr. Rochester sat quiet, looking\nat me gently and seriously.", "Some time passed before he spoke; he at last\nsaid--\n\n\"Come to my side, Jane, and let us explain and understand one another.\"", "\"I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and cannot\nreturn.\"", "\"But, Jane, I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry.\"", "I was silent: I thought he mocked me.", "\"Come, Jane--come hither.\"", "\"Your bride stands between us.\"", "He rose, and with a stride reached me.", "\"My bride is here,\" he said, again drawing me to him, \"because my equal\nis here, and my likeness.", "Jane, will you marry me?\"", "Still I did not answer, and still I writhed myself from his grasp: for I\nwas still incredulous.", "\"Do you doubt me, Jane?\"", "\"Entirely.\"", "\"You have no faith in me?\"", "\"Not a whit.\"", "\"Am I a liar in your eyes?\"", "he asked passionately.", "\"Little sceptic, you\n_shall_ be convinced.", "What love have I for Miss Ingram?", "None: and that\nyou know.", "What love has she for me?", "None: as I have taken pains to\nprove: I caused a rumour to reach her that my fortune was not a third of\nwhat was supposed, and after that I presented myself to see the result;\nit was coldness both from her and her mother.", "I would not--I could\nnot--marry Miss Ingram.", "You--you strange, you almost unearthly thing!--I\nlove as my own flesh.", "You--poor and obscure, and small and plain as you\nare--I entreat to accept me as a husband.\"", "\"What, me!\"", "I ejaculated, beginning in his earnestness--and especially in\nhis incivility--to credit his sincerity: \"me who have not a friend in the\nworld but you--if you are my friend: not a shilling but what you have\ngiven me?\"", "\"You, Jane, I must have you for my own--entirely my own.", "Will you be\nmine?", "Say yes, quickly.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, let me look at your face: turn to the moonlight.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I want to read your countenance--turn!\"", "\"There!", "you will find it scarcely more legible than a crumpled, scratched\npage.", "Read on: only make haste, for I suffer.\"", "His face was very much agitated and very much flushed, and there were\nstrong workings in the features, and strange gleams in the eyes.", "\"Oh, Jane, you torture me!\"", "he exclaimed.", "\"With that searching and yet\nfaithful and generous look, you torture me!\"", "\"How can I do that?", "If you are true, and your offer real, my only\nfeelings to you must be gratitude and devotion--they cannot torture.\"", "\"Gratitude!\"", "he ejaculated; and added wildly--\"Jane accept me quickly.", "Say, Edward--give me my name--Edward--I will marry you.\"", "\"Are you in earnest?", "Do you truly love me?", "Do you sincerely wish me to\nbe your wife?\"", "\"I do; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy you, I swear it.\"", "\"Then, sir, I will marry you.\"", "\"Edward--my little wife!\"", "\"Dear Edward!\"", "\"Come to me--come to me entirely now,\" said he; and added, in his deepest\ntone, speaking in my ear as his cheek was laid on mine, \"Make my\nhappiness--I will make yours.\"", "\"God pardon me!\"", "he subjoined ere long; \"and man meddle not with me: I\nhave her, and will hold her.\"", "\"There is no one to meddle, sir.", "I have no kindred to interfere.\"", "\"No--that is the best of it,\" he said.", "And if I had loved him less I\nshould have thought his accent and look of exultation savage; but,\nsitting by him, roused from the nightmare of parting--called to the\nparadise of union--I thought only of the bliss given me to drink in so\nabundant a flow.", "Again and again he said, \"Are you happy, Jane?\"", "And\nagain and again I answered, \"Yes.\"", "After which he murmured, \"It will\natone--it will atone.", "Have I not found her friendless, and cold, and\ncomfortless?", "Will I not guard, and cherish, and solace her?", "Is there\nnot love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves?", "It will expiate at\nGod's tribunal.", "I know my Maker sanctions what I do.", "For the world's\njudgment--I wash my hands thereof.", "For man's opinion--I defy it.\"", "But what had befallen the night?", "The moon was not yet set, and we were\nall in shadow: I could scarcely see my master's face, near as I was.", "And\nwhat ailed the chestnut tree?", "it writhed and groaned; while wind roared\nin the laurel walk, and came sweeping over us.", "\"We must go in,\" said Mr. Rochester: \"the weather changes.", "I could have\nsat with thee till morning, Jane.\"", "\"And so,\" thought I, \"could I with you.\"", "I should have said so, perhaps,\nbut a livid, vivid spark leapt out of a cloud at which I was looking, and\nthere was a crack, a crash, and a close rattling peal; and I thought only\nof hiding my dazzled eyes against Mr. Rochester's shoulder.", "The rain rushed down.", "He hurried me up the walk, through the grounds,\nand into the house; but we were quite wet before we could pass the\nthreshold.", "He was taking off my shawl in the hall, and shaking the water\nout of my loosened hair, when Mrs. Fairfax emerged from her room.", "I did\nnot observe her at first, nor did Mr. Rochester.", "The lamp was lit.", "The\nclock was on the stroke of twelve.", "\"Hasten to take off your wet things,\" said he; \"and before you go, good-\nnight--good-night, my darling!\"", "He kissed me repeatedly.", "When I looked up, on leaving his arms, there\nstood the widow, pale, grave, and amazed.", "I only smiled at her, and ran\nupstairs.", "\"Explanation will do for another time,\" thought I.", "Still,\nwhen I reached my chamber, I felt a pang at the idea she should even\ntemporarily misconstrue what she had seen.", "But joy soon effaced every\nother feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and deep as the thunder\ncrashed, fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed, cataract-like as\nthe rain fell during a storm of two hours' duration, I experienced no\nfear and little awe.", "Mr. Rochester came thrice to my door in the course\nof it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil: and that was comfort, that was\nstrength for anything.", "Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele came running in to tell\nme that the great horse-chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been\nstruck by lightning in the night, and half of it split away." ]

[ "I see trees laden with ripening fruit.", "But no--eventide is as pleasant to him as to me, and this antique garden\nas attractive; and he strolls on, now lifting the gooseberry-tree\nbranches to look at the fruit, large as plums, with which they are laden;\nnow taking a ripe cherry from the wall; now stooping towards a knot of\nflowers, either to inhale their fragrance or to admire the dew-beads on\ntheir petals.", "he is flown.\"", "\"Jane, do you hear that nightingale singing in the wood?", "To Ireland?\"", "Another effort set me at liberty, and I stood erect before him.", "\"For that fate you have already made your choice, and must abide by it.\"", "\"Because I want to read your countenance--turn!\"", "Is there\nnot love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves?", "I only smiled at her, and ran\nupstairs." ]

[ "\"Well, sir, I shall be ready when the order to march comes.\"", "I watched her drop\nasleep, and when I left her, I sought the garden.", "The thought of Mrs. O'Gall and Bitternutt Lodge struck\ncold to my heart; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam,\ndestined, as it seemed, to rush between me and the master at whose side I\nnow walked, and coldest the remembrance of the wider ocean--wealth,\ncaste, custom intervened between me and what I naturally and inevitably\nloved.", "This was a blow: but I did not let it prostrate me.", "I trode on an edging of turf that the crackle of the pebbly gravel might\nnot betray me: he was standing among the beds at a yard or two distant\nfrom where I had to pass; the moth apparently engaged him.", "A great moth goes humming by me; it alights on a plant at\nMr. Rochester's foot: he sees it, and bends to examine it.", "\"What, me!\"", "Will you be\nmine?", "I wish to remind you that it was you who first said to me, with\nthat discretion I respect in you--with that foresight, prudence, and\nhumility which befit your responsible and dependent position--that in\ncase I married Miss Ingram, both you and little Adele had better trot\nforthwith.", "I walked a while on the pavement; but a subtle, well-known scent--that of\na cigar--stole from some window; I saw the library casement open a\nhandbreadth; I knew I might be watched thence; so I went apart into the\norchard." ]

[ "\"Yes;--I will!--I will!\"", "He set his teeth.", "\"Then I must go:--you have said it yourself.\"", "\"No: you must stay!", "I swear it--and the oath shall be kept.\"", "\"I tell you I must go!\"", "I retorted, roused to something like passion.", "\"Do\nyou think I can stay to become nothing to you?", "Do you think I am an\nautomaton?--a machine without feelings?", "and can bear to have my morsel of\nbread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my\ncup?", "Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am\nsoulless and heartless?" ]

[ "\n\nA splendid Midsummer shone over England: skies so pure, suns so radiant\nas were then seen in long succession, seldom favour even singly, our wave-\ngirt land.", "It was as if a band of Italian days had come from the South,\nlike a flock of glorious passenger birds, and lighted to rest them on the\ncliffs of Albion.", "The hay was all got in; the fields round Thornfield\nwere green and shorn; the roads white and baked; the trees were in their\ndark prime; hedge and wood, full-leaved and deeply tinted, contrasted\nwell with the sunny hue of the cleared meadows between.", "On Midsummer-eve, Adele, weary with gathering wild strawberries in Hay\nLane half the day, had gone to bed with the sun.", "I watched her drop\nasleep, and when I left her, I sought the garden.", "It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty-four:--\"Day its fervid fires\nhad wasted,\" and dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit.", "Where the sun had gone down in simple state--pure of the pomp of\nclouds--spread a solemn purple, burning with the light of red jewel and\nfurnace flame at one point, on one hill-peak, and extending high and\nwide, soft and still softer, over half heaven.", "The east had its own\ncharm or fine deep blue, and its own modest gem, a casino and solitary\nstar: soon it would boast the moon; but she was yet beneath the horizon.", "I walked a while on the pavement; but a subtle, well-known scent--that of\na cigar--stole from some window; I saw the library casement open a\nhandbreadth; I knew I might be watched thence; so I went apart into the\norchard.", "No nook in the grounds more sheltered and more Eden-like; it\nwas full of trees, it bloomed with flowers: a very high wall shut it out\nfrom the court, on one side; on the other, a beech avenue screened it\nfrom the lawn.", "The\nclock was on the stroke of twelve.", "\"Hasten to take off your wet things,\" said he; \"and before you go, good-\nnight--good-night, my darling!\"", "He kissed me repeatedly.", "When I looked up, on leaving his arms, there\nstood the widow, pale, grave, and amazed.", "I only smiled at her, and ran\nupstairs.", "\"Explanation will do for another time,\" thought I.", "Still,\nwhen I reached my chamber, I felt a pang at the idea she should even\ntemporarily misconstrue what she had seen.", "But joy soon effaced every\nother feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and deep as the thunder\ncrashed, fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed, cataract-like as\nthe rain fell during a storm of two hours' duration, I experienced no\nfear and little awe.", "Mr. Rochester came thrice to my door in the course\nof it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil: and that was comfort, that was\nstrength for anything.", "Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele came running in to tell\nme that the great horse-chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been\nstruck by lightning in the night, and half of it split away." ]

[ "\n\nAs I rose and dressed, I thought over what had happened, and wondered if\nit were a dream.", "I could not be certain of the reality till I had seen\nMr. Rochester again, and heard him renew his words of love and promise.", "While arranging my hair, I looked at my face in the glass, and felt it\nwas no longer plain: there was hope in its aspect and life in its colour;\nand my eyes seemed as if they had beheld the fount of fruition, and\nborrowed beams from the lustrous ripple.", "I had often been unwilling to\nlook at my master, because I feared he could not be pleased at my look;\nbut I was sure I might lift my face to his now, and not cool his\naffection by its expression.", "I took a plain but clean and light summer\ndress from my drawer and put it on: it seemed no attire had ever so well\nbecome me, because none had I ever worn in so blissful a mood.", "I was not surprised, when I ran down into the hall, to see that a\nbrilliant June morning had succeeded to the tempest of the night; and to\nfeel, through the open glass door, the breathing of a fresh and fragrant\nbreeze.", "Nature must be gladsome when I was so happy.", "A beggar-woman and\nher little boy--pale, ragged objects both--were coming up the walk, and I\nran down and gave them all the money I happened to have in my purse--some\nthree or four shillings: good or bad, they must partake of my jubilee.", "The rooks cawed, and blither birds sang; but nothing was so merry or so\nmusical as my own rejoicing heart.", "Mrs. Fairfax surprised me by looking out of the window with a sad\ncountenance, and saying gravely--\"Miss Eyre, will you come to breakfast?\"", "During the meal she was quiet and cool: but I could not undeceive her\nthen.", "I must wait for my master to give explanations; and so must she.", "I\nate what I could, and then I hastened upstairs.", "I met Adele leaving the\nschoolroom.", "\"Where are you going?", "It is time for lessons.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester has sent me away to the nursery.\"", "\"Where is he?\"", "\"In there,\" pointing to the apartment she had left; and I went in, and\nthere he stood.", "\"Come and bid me good-morning,\" said he.", "I gladly advanced; and it was\nnot merely a cold word now, or even a shake of the hand that I received,\nbut an embrace and a kiss.", "It seemed natural: it seemed genial to be so\nwell loved, so caressed by him.", "\"Jane, you look blooming, and smiling, and pretty,\" said he: \"truly\npretty this morning.", "Is this my pale, little elf?", "Is this my mustard-\nseed?", "This little sunny-faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips;\nthe satin-smooth hazel hair, and the radiant hazel eyes?\"", "(I had green\neyes, reader; but you must excuse the mistake: for him they were\nnew-dyed, I suppose.)", "\"It is Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "\"Soon to be Jane Rochester,\" he added: \"in four weeks, Janet; not a day\nmore.", "Do you hear that?\"", "I did, and I could not quite comprehend it: it made me giddy.", "The\nfeeling, the announcement sent through me, was something stronger than\nwas consistent with joy--something that smote and stunned.", "It was, I\nthink almost fear.", "\"You blushed, and now you are white, Jane: what is that for?\"", "\"Because you gave me a new name--Jane Rochester; and it seems so\nstrange.\"", "\"Yes, Mrs. Rochester,\" said he; \"young Mrs. Rochester--Fairfax\nRochester's girl-bride.\"", "\"It can never be, sir; it does not sound likely.", "Human beings never\nenjoy complete happiness in this world.", "I was not born for a different\ndestiny to the rest of my species: to imagine such a lot befalling me is\na fairy tale--a day-dream.\"", "\"Which I can and will realise.", "I shall begin to-day.", "This morning I\nwrote to my banker in London to send me certain jewels he has in his\nkeeping,--heirlooms for the ladies of Thornfield.", "In a day or two I hope\nto pour them into your lap: for every privilege, every attention shall be\nyours that I would accord a peer's daughter, if about to marry her.\"", "\"Oh, sir!--never rain jewels!", "I don't like to hear them spoken of.", "Jewels for Jane Eyre sounds unnatural and strange: I would rather not\nhave them.\"", "\"I will myself put the diamond chain round your neck, and the circlet on\nyour forehead,--which it will become: for nature, at least, has stamped\nher patent of nobility on this brow, Jane; and I will clasp the bracelets\non these fine wrists, and load these fairy-like fingers with rings.\"", "\"No, no, sir!", "think of other subjects, and speak of other things, and in\nanother strain.", "Don't address me as if I were a beauty; I am your plain,\nQuakerish governess.\"", "\"You are a beauty in my eyes, and a beauty just after the desire of my\nheart,--delicate and aerial.\"", "\"Puny and insignificant, you mean.", "You are dreaming, sir,--or you are\nsneering.", "For God's sake don't be ironical!\"", "\"I will make the world acknowledge you a beauty, too,\" he went on, while\nI really became uneasy at the strain he had adopted, because I felt he\nwas either deluding himself or trying to delude me.", "\"I will attire my\nJane in satin and lace, and she shall have roses in her hair; and I will\ncover the head I love best with a priceless veil.\"", "\"And then you won't know me, sir; and I shall not be your Jane Eyre any\nlonger, but an ape in a harlequin's jacket--a jay in borrowed plumes.", "I\nwould as soon see you, Mr. Rochester, tricked out in stage-trappings, as\nmyself clad in a court-lady's robe; and I don't call you handsome, sir,\nthough I love you most dearly: far too dearly to flatter you.", "Don't\nflatter me.\"", "He pursued his theme, however, without noticing my deprecation.", "\"This\nvery day I shall take you in the carriage to Millcote, and you must\nchoose some dresses for yourself.", "I told you we shall be married in four\nweeks.", "The wedding is to take place quietly, in the church down below\nyonder; and then I shall waft you away at once to town.", "After a brief\nstay there, I shall bear my treasure to regions nearer the sun: to French\nvineyards and Italian plains; and she shall see whatever is famous in old\nstory and in modern record: she shall taste, too, of the life of cities;\nand she shall learn to value herself by just comparison with others.\"", "\"Shall I travel?--and with you, sir?\"", "\"You shall sojourn at Paris, Rome, and Naples: at Florence, Venice, and\nVienna: all the ground I have wandered over shall be re-trodden by you:\nwherever I stamped my hoof, your sylph's foot shall step also.", "Ten years\nsince, I flew through Europe half mad; with disgust, hate, and rage as my\ncompanions: now I shall revisit it healed and cleansed, with a very angel\nas my comforter.\"", "I laughed at him as he said this.", "\"I am not an angel,\" I asserted; \"and\nI will not be one till I die: I will be myself.", "Mr. Rochester, you must\nneither expect nor exact anything celestial of me--for you will not get\nit, any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all\nanticipate.\"", "\"What do you anticipate of me?\"", "\"For a little while you will perhaps be as you are now,--a very little\nwhile; and then you will turn cool; and then you will be capricious; and\nthen you will be stern, and I shall have much ado to please you: but when\nyou get well used to me, you will perhaps like me again,--_like_ me, I\nsay, not _love_ me.", "I suppose your love will effervesce in six months,\nor less.", "I have observed in books written by men, that period assigned\nas the farthest to which a husband's ardour extends.", "Yet, after all, as\na friend and companion, I hope never to become quite distasteful to my\ndear master.\"", "\"Distasteful!", "and like you again!", "I think I shall like you again, and\nyet again: and I will make you confess I do not only _like_, but _love_\nyou--with truth, fervour, constancy.\"", "\"Yet are you not capricious, sir?\"", "\"To women who please me only by their faces, I am the very devil when I\nfind out they have neither souls nor hearts--when they open to me a\nperspective of flatness, triviality, and perhaps imbecility, coarseness,\nand ill-temper: but to the clear eye and eloquent tongue, to the soul\nmade of fire, and the character that bends but does not break--at once\nsupple and stable, tractable and consistent--I am ever tender and true.\"", "\"Had you ever experience of such a character, sir?", "Did you ever love\nsuch an one?\"", "\"I love it now.\"", "\"But before me: if I, indeed, in any respect come up to your difficult\nstandard?\"", "\"I never met your likeness.", "Jane, you please me, and you master me--you\nseem to submit, and I like the sense of pliancy you impart; and while I\nam twining the soft, silken skein round my finger, it sends a thrill up\nmy arm to my heart.", "I am influenced--conquered; and the influence is\nsweeter than I can express; and the conquest I undergo has a witchery\nbeyond any triumph I can win.", "Why do you smile, Jane?", "What does that\ninexplicable, that uncanny turn of countenance mean?\"", "\"I was thinking, sir (you will excuse the idea; it was involuntary), I\nwas thinking of Hercules and Samson with their charmers--\"\n\n\"You were, you little elfish--\"\n\n\"Hush, sir!", "You don't talk very wisely just now; any more than those\ngentlemen acted very wisely.", "However, had they been married, they would\nno doubt by their severity as husbands have made up for their softness as\nsuitors; and so will you, I fear.", "I wonder how you will answer me a year\nhence, should I ask a favour it does not suit your convenience or\npleasure to grant.\"", "\"Ask me something now, Jane,--the least thing: I desire to be entreated--\"\n\n\"Indeed I will, sir; I have my petition all ready.\"", "\"Speak!", "But if you look up and smile with that countenance, I shall\nswear concession before I know to what, and that will make a fool of me.\"", "\"Not at all, sir; I ask only this: don't send for the jewels, and don't\ncrown me with roses: you might as well put a border of gold lace round\nthat plain pocket handkerchief you have there.\"", "\"I might as well 'gild refined gold.'", "I know it: your request is granted\nthen--for the time.", "I will remand the order I despatched to my banker.", "But you have not yet asked for anything; you have prayed a gift to be\nwithdrawn: try again.\"", "\"Well then, sir, have the goodness to gratify my curiosity, which is much\npiqued on one point.\"", "He looked disturbed.", "\"What?", "what?\"", "he said hastily.", "\"Curiosity is a\ndangerous petition: it is well I have not taken a vow to accord every\nrequest--\"\n\n\"But there can be no danger in complying with this, sir.\"", "\"Utter it, Jane: but I wish that instead of a mere inquiry into, perhaps,\na secret, it was a wish for half my estate.\"", "\"Now, King Ahasuerus!", "What do I want with half your estate?", "Do you\nthink I am a Jew-usurer, seeking good investment in land?", "I would much\nrather have all your confidence.", "You will not exclude me from your\nconfidence if you admit me to your heart?\"", "\"You are welcome to all my confidence that is worth having, Jane; but for\nGod's sake, don't desire a useless burden!", "Don't long for poison--don't\nturn out a downright Eve on my hands!\"", "\"Why not, sir?", "You have just been telling me how much you liked to be\nconquered, and how pleasant over-persuasion is to you.", "Don't you think I\nhad better take advantage of the confession, and begin and coax and\nentreat--even cry and be sulky if necessary--for the sake of a mere essay\nof my power?\"", "\"I dare you to any such experiment.", "Encroach, presume, and the game is\nup.\"", "\"Is it, sir?", "You soon give in.", "How stern you look now!", "Your eyebrows\nhave become as thick as my finger, and your forehead resembles what, in\nsome very astonishing poetry, I once saw styled, 'a blue-piled\nthunderloft.'", "That will be your married look, sir, I suppose?\"", "\"If that will be _your_ married look, I, as a Christian, will soon give\nup the notion of consorting with a mere sprite or salamander.", "But what\nhad you to ask, thing,--out with it?\"", "\"There, you are less than civil now; and I like rudeness a great deal\nbetter than flattery.", "I had rather be a _thing_ than an angel.", "This is\nwhat I have to ask,--Why did you take such pains to make me believe you\nwished to marry Miss Ingram?\"", "\"Is that all?", "Thank God it is no worse!\"", "And now he unknit his black\nbrows; looked down, smiling at me, and stroked my hair, as if well\npleased at seeing a danger averted.", "\"I think I may confess,\" he\ncontinued, \"even although I should make you a little indignant, Jane--and\nI have seen what a fire-spirit you can be when you are indignant.", "You\nglowed in the cool moonlight last night, when you mutinied against fate,\nand claimed your rank as my equal.", "Janet, by-the-bye, it was you who\nmade me the offer.\"", "\"Of course I did.", "But to the point if you please, sir--Miss Ingram?\"", "\"Well, I feigned courtship of Miss Ingram, because I wished to render you\nas madly in love with me as I was with you; and I knew jealousy would be\nthe best ally I could call in for the furtherance of that end.\"", "\"Excellent!", "Now you are small--not one whit bigger than the end of my\nlittle finger.", "It was a burning shame and a scandalous disgrace to act\nin that way.", "Did you think nothing of Miss Ingram's feelings, sir?\"", "\"Her feelings are concentrated in one--pride; and that needs humbling.", "Were you jealous, Jane?\"", "\"Never mind, Mr. Rochester: it is in no way interesting to you to know\nthat.", "Answer me truly once more.", "Do you think Miss Ingram will not\nsuffer from your dishonest coquetry?", "Won't she feel forsaken and\ndeserted?\"", "\"Impossible!--when I told you how she, on the contrary, deserted me: the\nidea of my insolvency cooled, or rather extinguished, her flame in a\nmoment.\"", "\"You have a curious, designing mind, Mr. Rochester.", "I am afraid your\nprinciples on some points are eccentric.\"", "\"My principles were never trained, Jane: they may have grown a little\nawry for want of attention.\"", "\"Once again, seriously; may I enjoy the great good that has been\nvouchsafed to me, without fearing that any one else is suffering the\nbitter pain I myself felt a while ago?\"", "\"That you may, my good little girl: there is not another being in the\nworld has the same pure love for me as yourself--for I lay that pleasant\nunction to my soul, Jane, a belief in your affection.\"", "I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder.", "I loved him very\nmuch--more than I could trust myself to say--more than words had power to\nexpress.", "\"Ask something more,\" he said presently; \"it is my delight to be\nentreated, and to yield.\"", "I was again ready with my request.", "\"Communicate your intentions to Mrs.\nFairfax, sir: she saw me with you last night in the hall, and she was\nshocked.", "Give her some explanation before I see her again.", "It pains me\nto be misjudged by so good a woman.\"", "\"Go to your room, and put on your bonnet,\" he replied.", "\"I mean you to\naccompany me to Millcote this morning; and while you prepare for the\ndrive, I will enlighten the old lady's understanding.", "Did she think,\nJanet, you had given the world for love, and considered it well lost?\"", "\"I believe she thought I had forgotten my station, and yours, sir.\"", "\"Station!", "station!--your station is in my heart, and on the necks of\nthose who would insult you, now or hereafter.--Go.\"", "I was soon dressed; and when I heard Mr. Rochester quit Mrs. Fairfax's\nparlour, I hurried down to it.", "The old lady, had been reading her\nmorning portion of Scripture--the Lesson for the day; her Bible lay open\nbefore her, and her spectacles were upon it.", "Her occupation, suspended\nby Mr. Rochester's announcement, seemed now forgotten: her eyes, fixed on\nthe blank wall opposite, expressed the surprise of a quiet mind stirred\nby unwonted tidings.", "Seeing me, she roused herself: she made a sort of\neffort to smile, and framed a few words of congratulation; but the smile\nexpired, and the sentence was abandoned unfinished.", "She put up her\nspectacles, shut the Bible, and pushed her chair back from the table.", "\"I feel so astonished,\" she began, \"I hardly know what to say to you,\nMiss Eyre.", "I have surely not been dreaming, have I?", "Sometimes I half\nfall asleep when I am sitting alone and fancy things that have never\nhappened.", "It has seemed to me more than once when I have been in a doze,\nthat my dear husband, who died fifteen years since, has come in and sat\ndown beside me; and that I have even heard him call me by my name, Alice,\nas he used to do.", "Now, can you tell me whether it is actually true that\nMr. Rochester has asked you to marry him?", "Don't laugh at me.", "But I\nreally thought he came in here five minutes ago, and said that in a month\nyou would be his wife.\"", "\"He has said the same thing to me,\" I replied.", "\"He has!", "Do you believe him?", "Have you accepted him?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "She looked at me bewildered.", "\"I could never have thought it.", "He is a\nproud man: all the Rochesters were proud: and his father, at least, liked\nmoney.", "He, too, has always been called careful.", "He means to marry you?\"", "\"He tells me so.\"", "She surveyed my whole person: in her eyes I read that they had there\nfound no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma.", "\"It passes me!\"", "she continued; \"but no doubt, it is true since you say\nso.", "How it will answer, I cannot tell: I really don't know.", "Equality of\nposition and fortune is often advisable in such cases; and there are\ntwenty years of difference in your ages.", "He might almost be your\nfather.\"", "\"No, indeed, Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "exclaimed I, nettled; \"he is nothing like my\nfather!", "No one, who saw us together, would suppose it for an instant.", "Mr. Rochester looks as young, and is as young, as some men at five-and-\ntwenty.\"", "\"Is it really for love he is going to marry you?\"", "she asked.", "I was so hurt by her coldness and scepticism, that the tears rose to my\neyes.", "\"I am sorry to grieve you,\" pursued the widow; \"but you are so young, and\nso little acquainted with men, I wished to put you on your guard.", "It is\nan old saying that 'all is not gold that glitters;' and in this case I do\nfear there will be something found to be different to what either you or\nI expect.\"", "\"Why?--am I a monster?\"", "I said: \"is it impossible that Mr. Rochester\nshould have a sincere affection for me?\"", "\"No: you are very well; and much improved of late; and Mr. Rochester, I\ndaresay, is fond of you.", "I have always noticed that you were a sort of\npet of his.", "There are times when, for your sake, I have been a little\nuneasy at his marked preference, and have wished to put you on your\nguard: but I did not like to suggest even the possibility of wrong.", "I\nknew such an idea would shock, perhaps offend you; and you were so\ndiscreet, and so thoroughly modest and sensible, I hoped you might be\ntrusted to protect yourself.", "Last night I cannot tell you what I\nsuffered when I sought all over the house, and could find you nowhere,\nnor the master either; and then, at twelve o'clock, saw you come in with\nhim.\"", "\"Well, never mind that now,\" I interrupted impatiently; \"it is enough\nthat all was right.\"", "\"I hope all will be right in the end,\" she said: \"but believe me, you\ncannot be too careful.", "Try and keep Mr. Rochester at a distance:\ndistrust yourself as well as him.", "Gentlemen in his station are not\naccustomed to marry their governesses.\"", "I was growing truly irritated: happily, Adele ran in.", "\"Let me go,--let me go to Millcote too!\"", "she cried.", "\"Mr. Rochester\nwon't: though there is so much room in the new carriage.", "Beg him to let\nme go mademoiselle.\"", "\"That I will, Adele;\" and I hastened away with her, glad to quit my\ngloomy monitress.", "The carriage was ready: they were bringing it round to\nthe front, and my master was pacing the pavement, Pilot following him\nbackwards and forwards.", "\"Adele may accompany us, may she not, sir?\"", "\"I told her no.", "I'll have no brats!--I'll have only you.\"", "\"Do let her go, Mr. Rochester, if you please: it would be better.\"", "\"Not it: she will be a restraint.\"", "He was quite peremptory, both in look and voice.", "The chill of Mrs.\nFairfax's warnings, and the damp of her doubts were upon me: something of\nunsubstantiality and uncertainty had beset my hopes.", "I half lost the\nsense of power over him.", "I was about mechanically to obey him, without\nfurther remonstrance; but as he helped me into the carriage, he looked at\nmy face.", "\"What is the matter?\"", "he asked; \"all the sunshine is gone.", "Do you really\nwish the bairn to go?", "Will it annoy you if she is left behind?\"", "\"I would far rather she went, sir.\"", "\"Then off for your bonnet, and back like a flash of lightning!\"", "cried he\nto Adele.", "She obeyed him with what speed she might.", "\"After all, a single morning's interruption will not matter much,\" said\nhe, \"when I mean shortly to claim you--your thoughts, conversation, and\ncompany--for life.\"", "Adele, when lifted in, commenced kissing me, by way of expressing her\ngratitude for my intercession: she was instantly stowed away into a\ncorner on the other side of him.", "She then peeped round to where I sat;\nso stern a neighbour was too restrictive to him, in his present fractious\nmood, she dared whisper no observations, nor ask of him any information.", "\"Let her come to me,\" I entreated: \"she will, perhaps, trouble you, sir:\nthere is plenty of room on this side.\"", "He handed her over as if she had been a lapdog.", "\"I'll send her to school\nyet,\" he said, but now he was smiling.", "Adele heard him, and asked if she was to go to school \"sans\nmademoiselle?\"", "\"Yes,\" he replied, \"absolutely sans mademoiselle; for I am to take\nmademoiselle to the moon, and there I shall seek a cave in one of the\nwhite valleys among the volcano-tops, and mademoiselle shall live with me\nthere, and only me.\"", "\"She will have nothing to eat: you will starve her,\" observed Adele.", "\"I shall gather manna for her morning and night: the plains and hillsides\nin the moon are bleached with manna, Adele.\"", "\"She will want to warm herself: what will she do for a fire?\"", "\"Fire rises out of the lunar mountains: when she is cold, I'll carry her\nup to a peak, and lay her down on the edge of a crater.\"", "\"Oh, qu' elle y sera mal--peu comfortable!", "And her clothes, they will\nwear out: how can she get new ones?\"", "Mr. Rochester professed to be puzzled.", "\"Hem!\"", "said he.", "\"What would you\ndo, Adele?", "Cudgel your brains for an expedient.", "How would a white or a\npink cloud answer for a gown, do you think?", "And one could cut a pretty\nenough scarf out of a rainbow.\"", "\"She is far better as she is,\" concluded Adele, after musing some time:\n\"besides, she would get tired of living with only you in the moon.", "If I\nwere mademoiselle, I would never consent to go with you.\"", "\"She has consented: she has pledged her word.\"", "\"But you can't get her there; there is no road to the moon: it is all\nair; and neither you nor she can fly.\"", "\"Adele, look at that field.\"", "We were now outside Thornfield gates, and\nbowling lightly along the smooth road to Millcote, where the dust was\nwell laid by the thunderstorm, and, where the low hedges and lofty timber\ntrees on each side glistened green and rain-refreshed.", "\"In that field, Adele, I was walking late one evening about a fortnight\nsince--the evening of the day you helped me to make hay in the orchard\nmeadows; and, as I was tired with raking swaths, I sat down to rest me on\na stile; and there I took out a little book and a pencil, and began to\nwrite about a misfortune that befell me long ago, and a wish I had for\nhappy days to come: I was writing away very fast, though daylight was\nfading from the leaf, when something came up the path and stopped two\nyards off me.", "I looked at it.", "It was a little thing with a veil of\ngossamer on its head.", "I beckoned it to come near me; it stood soon at my\nknee.", "I never spoke to it, and it never spoke to me, in words; but I\nread its eyes, and it read mine; and our speechless colloquy was to this\neffect--\n\n\"It was a fairy, and come from Elf-land, it said; and its errand was to\nmake me happy: I must go with it out of the common world to a lonely\nplace--such as the moon, for instance--and it nodded its head towards her\nhorn, rising over Hay-hill: it told me of the alabaster cave and silver\nvale where we might live.", "I said I should like to go; but reminded it,\nas you did me, that I had no wings to fly.", "\"'Oh,' returned the fairy, 'that does not signify!", "Here is a talisman\nwill remove all difficulties;' and she held out a pretty gold ring.", "'Put\nit,' she said, 'on the fourth finger of my left hand, and I am yours, and\nyou are mine; and we shall leave earth, and make our own heaven yonder.'", "She nodded again at the moon.", "The ring, Adele, is in my breeches-pocket,\nunder the disguise of a sovereign: but I mean soon to change it to a ring\nagain.\"", "\"But what has mademoiselle to do with it?", "I don't care for the fairy:\nyou said it was mademoiselle you would take to the moon?\"", "\"Mademoiselle is a fairy,\" he said, whispering mysteriously.", "Whereupon I\ntold her not to mind his badinage; and she, on her part, evinced a fund\nof genuine French scepticism: denominating Mr. Rochester \"un vrai\nmenteur,\" and assuring him that she made no account whatever of his\n\"contes de fee,\" and that \"du reste, il n'y avait pas de fees, et quand\nmeme il y en avait:\" she was sure they would never appear to him, nor\never give him rings, or offer to live with him in the moon.", "The hour spent at Millcote was a somewhat harassing one to me.", "Mr.\nRochester obliged me to go to a certain silk warehouse: there I was\nordered to choose half-a-dozen dresses.", "I hated the business, I begged\nleave to defer it: no--it should be gone through with now.", "By dint of\nentreaties expressed in energetic whispers, I reduced the half-dozen to\ntwo: these however, he vowed he would select himself.", "With anxiety I\nwatched his eye rove over the gay stores: he fixed on a rich silk of the\nmost brilliant amethyst dye, and a superb pink satin.", "I told him in a\nnew series of whispers, that he might as well buy me a gold gown and a\nsilver bonnet at once: I should certainly never venture to wear his\nchoice.", "With infinite difficulty, for he was stubborn as a stone, I\npersuaded him to make an exchange in favour of a sober black satin and\npearl-grey silk.", "\"It might pass for the present,\" he said; \"but he would\nyet see me glittering like a parterre.\"", "Glad was I to get him out of the silk warehouse, and then out of a\njewellers shop: the more he bought me, the more my cheek burned with a\nsense of annoyance and degradation.", "As we re-entered the carriage, and I\nsat back feverish and fagged, I remembered what, in the hurry of events,\ndark and bright, I had wholly forgotten--the letter of my uncle, John\nEyre, to Mrs. Reed: his intention to adopt me and make me his legatee.", "\"It would, indeed, be a relief,\" I thought, \"if I had ever so small an\nindependency; I never can bear being dressed like a doll by Mr.\nRochester, or sitting like a second Danae with the golden shower falling\ndaily round me.", "I will write to Madeira the moment I get home, and tell\nmy uncle John I am going to be married, and to whom: if I had but a\nprospect of one day bringing Mr. Rochester an accession of fortune, I\ncould better endure to be kept by him now.\"", "And somewhat relieved by\nthis idea (which I failed not to execute that day), I ventured once more\nto meet my master's and lover's eye, which most pertinaciously sought\nmine, though I averted both face and gaze.", "He smiled; and I thought his\nsmile was such as a sultan might, in a blissful and fond moment, bestow\non a slave his gold and gems had enriched: I crushed his hand, which was\never hunting mine, vigorously, and thrust it back to him red with the\npassionate pressure.", "\"You need not look in that way,\" I said; \"if you do, I'll wear nothing\nbut my old Lowood frocks to the end of the chapter.", "I'll be married in\nthis lilac gingham: you may make a dressing-gown for yourself out of the\npearl-grey silk, and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black\nsatin.\"", "He chuckled; he rubbed his hands.", "\"Oh, it is rich to see and hear her?\"", "he exclaimed.", "\"Is she original?", "Is she piquant?", "I would not exchange\nthis one little English girl for the Grand Turk's whole seraglio, gazelle-\neyes, houri forms, and all!\"", "The Eastern allusion bit me again.", "\"I'll not stand you an inch in the\nstead of a seraglio,\" I said; \"so don't consider me an equivalent for\none.", "If you have a fancy for anything in that line, away with you, sir,\nto the bazaars of Stamboul without delay, and lay out in extensive slave-\npurchases some of that spare cash you seem at a loss to spend\nsatisfactorily here.\"", "\"And what will you do, Janet, while I am bargaining for so many tons of\nflesh and such an assortment of black eyes?\"", "\"I'll be preparing myself to go out as a missionary to preach liberty to\nthem that are enslaved--your harem inmates amongst the rest.", "I'll get\nadmitted there, and I'll stir up mutiny; and you, three-tailed bashaw as\nyou are, sir, shall in a trice find yourself fettered amongst our hands:\nnor will I, for one, consent to cut your bonds till you have signed a\ncharter, the most liberal that despot ever yet conferred.\"", "\"I would consent to be at your mercy, Jane.\"", "\"I would have no mercy, Mr. Rochester, if you supplicated for it with an\neye like that.", "While you looked so, I should be certain that whatever\ncharter you might grant under coercion, your first act, when released,\nwould be to violate its conditions.\"", "\"Why, Jane, what would you have?", "I fear you will compel me to go through\na private marriage ceremony, besides that performed at the altar.", "You\nwill stipulate, I see, for peculiar terms--what will they be?\"", "\"I only want an easy mind, sir; not crushed by crowded obligations.", "Do\nyou remember what you said of Celine Varens?--of the diamonds, the\ncashmeres you gave her?", "I will not be your English Celine Varens.", "I\nshall continue to act as Adele's governess; by that I shall earn my board\nand lodging, and thirty pounds a year besides.", "I'll furnish my own\nwardrobe out of that money, and you shall give me nothing but--\"\n\n\"Well, but what?\"", "\"Your regard; and if I give you mine in return, that debt will be quit.\"", "\"Well, for cool native impudence and pure innate pride, you haven't your\nequal,\" said he.", "We were now approaching Thornfield.", "\"Will it please\nyou to dine with me to-day?\"", "he asked, as we re-entered the gates.", "\"No, thank you, sir.\"", "\"And what for, 'no, thank you?'", "if one may inquire.\"", "\"I never have dined with you, sir: and I see no reason why I should now:\ntill--\"\n\n\"Till what?", "You delight in half-phrases.\"", "\"Till I can't help it.\"", "\"Do you suppose I eat like an ogre or a ghoul, that you dread being the\ncompanion of my repast?\"", "\"I have formed no supposition on the subject, sir; but I want to go on as\nusual for another month.\"", "\"You will give up your governessing slavery at once.\"", "\"Indeed, begging your pardon, sir, I shall not.", "I shall just go on with\nit as usual.", "I shall keep out of your way all day, as I have been\naccustomed to do: you may send for me in the evening, when you feel\ndisposed to see me, and I'll come then; but at no other time.\"", "\"I want a smoke, Jane, or a pinch of snuff, to comfort me under all this,\n'pour me donner une contenance,' as Adele would say; and unfortunately I\nhave neither my cigar-case, nor my snuff-box.", "But listen--whisper.", "It\nis your time now, little tyrant, but it will be mine presently; and when\nonce I have fairly seized you, to have and to hold, I'll\njust--figuratively speaking--attach you to a chain like this\" (touching\nhis watch-guard).", "\"Yes, bonny wee thing, I'll wear you in my bosom, lest\nmy jewel I should tyne.\"", "He said this as he helped me to alight from the carriage, and while he\nafterwards lifted out Adele, I entered the house, and made good my\nretreat upstairs.", "He duly summoned me to his presence in the evening.", "I had prepared an\noccupation for him; for I was determined not to spend the whole time in a\n_tete-a-tete_ conversation.", "I remembered his fine voice; I knew he liked\nto sing--good singers generally do.", "I was no vocalist myself, and, in\nhis fastidious judgment, no musician, either; but I delighted in\nlistening when the performance was good.", "No sooner had twilight, that\nhour of romance, began to lower her blue and starry banner over the\nlattice, than I rose, opened the piano, and entreated him, for the love\nof heaven, to give me a song.", "He said I was a capricious witch, and that\nhe would rather sing another time; but I averred that no time was like\nthe present.", "\"Did I like his voice?\"", "he asked.", "\"Very much.\"", "I was not fond of pampering that susceptible vanity of his;\nbut for once, and from motives of expediency, I would e'en soothe and\nstimulate it.", "\"Then, Jane, you must play the accompaniment.\"", "\"Very well, sir, I will try.\"", "I did try, but was presently swept off the stool and denominated \"a\nlittle bungler.\"", "Being pushed unceremoniously to one side--which was\nprecisely what I wished--he usurped my place, and proceeded to accompany\nhimself: for he could play as well as sing.", "I hied me to the\nwindow-recess.", "And while I sat there and looked out on the still trees\nand dim lawn, to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the following\nstrain:--\n\n \"The truest love that ever heart\n Felt at its kindled core,\n Did through each vein, in quickened start,\n The tide of being pour.", "Her coming was my hope each day,\n Her parting was my pain;\n The chance that did her steps delay\n Was ice in every vein.", "I dreamed it would be nameless bliss,\n As I loved, loved to be;\n And to this object did I press\n As blind as eagerly.", "But wide as pathless was the space\n That lay our lives between,\n And dangerous as the foamy race\n Of ocean-surges green.", "And haunted as a robber-path\n Through wilderness or wood;\n For Might and Right, and Woe and Wrath,\n Between our spirits stood.", "I dangers dared; I hindrance scorned;\n I omens did defy:\n Whatever menaced, harassed, warned,\n I passed impetuous by.", "On sped my rainbow, fast as light;\n I flew as in a dream;\n For glorious rose upon my sight\n That child of Shower and Gleam.", "Still bright on clouds of suffering dim\n Shines that soft, solemn joy;\n Nor care I now, how dense and grim\n Disasters gather nigh.", "I care not in this moment sweet,\n Though all I have rushed o'er\n Should come on pinion, strong and fleet,\n Proclaiming vengeance sore:\n\n Though haughty Hate should strike me down,\n Right, bar approach to me,\n And grinding Might, with furious frown,\n Swear endless enmity.", "My love has placed her little hand\n With noble faith in mine,\n And vowed that wedlock's sacred band\n Our nature shall entwine.", "My love has sworn, with sealing kiss,\n With me to live--to die;\n I have at last my nameless bliss.", "As I love--loved am I!\"", "He rose and came towards me, and I saw his face all kindled, and his full\nfalcon-eye flashing, and tenderness and passion in every lineament.", "I\nquailed momentarily--then I rallied.", "Soft scene, daring demonstration, I\nwould not have; and I stood in peril of both: a weapon of defence must be\nprepared--I whetted my tongue: as he reached me, I asked with asperity,\n\"whom he was going to marry now?\"", "\"That was a strange question to be put by his darling Jane.\"", "\"Indeed!", "I considered it a very natural and necessary one: he had talked\nof his future wife dying with him.", "What did he mean by such a pagan\nidea?", "_I_ had no intention of dying with him--he might depend on that.\"", "\"Oh, all he longed, all he prayed for, was that I might live with him!", "Death was not for such as I.\"", "\"Indeed it was: I had as good a right to die when my time came as he had:\nbut I should bide that time, and not be hurried away in a suttee.\"", "\"Would I forgive him for the selfish idea, and prove my pardon by a\nreconciling kiss?\"", "\"No: I would rather be excused.\"", "Here I heard myself apostrophised as a \"hard little thing;\" and it was\nadded, \"any other woman would have been melted to marrow at hearing such\nstanzas crooned in her praise.\"", "I assured him I was naturally hard--very flinty, and that he would often\nfind me so; and that, moreover, I was determined to show him divers\nrugged points in my character before the ensuing four weeks elapsed: he\nshould know fully what sort of a bargain he had made, while there was yet\ntime to rescind it.", "\"Would I be quiet and talk rationally?\"", "\"I would be quiet if he liked, and as to talking rationally, I flattered\nmyself I was doing that now.\"", "He fretted, pished, and pshawed.", "\"Very good,\" I thought; \"you may fume\nand fidget as you please: but this is the best plan to pursue with you, I\nam certain.", "I like you more than I can say; but I'll not sink into a\nbathos of sentiment: and with this needle of repartee I'll keep you from\nthe edge of the gulf too; and, moreover, maintain by its pungent aid that\ndistance between you and myself most conducive to our real mutual\nadvantage.\"", "From less to more, I worked him up to considerable irritation; then,\nafter he had retired, in dudgeon, quite to the other end of the room, I\ngot up, and saying, \"I wish you good-night, sir,\" in my natural and\nwonted respectful manner, I slipped out by the side-door and got away.", "The system thus entered on, I pursued during the whole season of\nprobation; and with the best success.", "He was kept, to be sure, rather\ncross and crusty; but on the whole I could see he was excellently\nentertained, and that a lamb-like submission and turtle-dove sensibility,\nwhile fostering his despotism more, would have pleased his judgment,\nsatisfied his common-sense, and even suited his taste less.", "In other people's presence I was, as formerly, deferential and quiet; any\nother line of conduct being uncalled for: it was only in the evening\nconferences I thus thwarted and afflicted him.", "He continued to send for\nme punctually the moment the clock struck seven; though when I appeared\nbefore him now, he had no such honeyed terms as \"love\" and \"darling\" on\nhis lips: the best words at my service were \"provoking puppet,\"\n\"malicious elf,\" \"sprite,\" \"changeling,\" &c. For caresses, too, I now\ngot grimaces; for a pressure of the hand, a pinch on the arm; for a kiss\non the cheek, a severe tweak of the ear.", "It was all right: at present I\ndecidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender.", "Mrs.\nFairfax, I saw, approved me: her anxiety on my account vanished;\ntherefore I was certain I did well.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester affirmed I\nwas wearing him to skin and bone, and threatened awful vengeance for my\npresent conduct at some period fast coming.", "I laughed in my sleeve at\nhis menaces.", "\"I can keep you in reasonable check now,\" I reflected; \"and\nI don't doubt to be able to do it hereafter: if one expedient loses its\nvirtue, another must be devised.\"", "Yet after all my task was not an easy one; often I would rather have\npleased than teased him.", "My future husband was becoming to me my whole\nworld; and more than the world: almost my hope of heaven.", "He stood\nbetween me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes\nbetween man and the broad sun.", "I could not, in those days, see God for\nHis creature: of whom I had made an idol.", "The month of courtship had wasted: its very last hours were being\nnumbered.", "There was no putting off the day that advanced--the bridal\nday; and all preparations for its arrival were complete.", "_I_, at least,\nhad nothing more to do: there were my trunks, packed, locked, corded,\nranged in a row along the wall of my little chamber; to-morrow, at this\ntime, they would be far on their road to London: and so should I\n(D.V.", "),--or rather, not I, but one Jane Rochester, a person whom as yet I\nknew not.", "The cards of address alone remained to nail on: they lay, four\nlittle squares, in the drawer.", "Mr. Rochester had himself written the\ndirection, \"Mrs. Rochester, --- Hotel, London,\" on each: I could not\npersuade myself to affix them, or to have them affixed.", "Mrs. Rochester!", "She did not exist: she would not be born till to-morrow, some time after\neight o'clock a.m.; and I would wait to be assured she had come into the\nworld alive before I assigned to her all that property.", "It was enough\nthat in yonder closet, opposite my dressing-table, garments said to be\nhers had already displaced my black stuff Lowood frock and straw bonnet:\nfor not to me appertained that suit of wedding raiment; the\npearl-coloured robe, the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped\nportmanteau.", "I shut the closet to conceal the strange, wraith-like\napparel it contained; which, at this evening hour--nine o'clock--gave out\ncertainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment.", "\"I\nwill leave you by yourself, white dream,\" I said.", "\"I am feverish: I hear\nthe wind blowing: I will go out of doors and feel it.\"", "It was not only the hurry of preparation that made me feverish; not only\nthe anticipation of the great change--the new life which was to commence\nto-morrow: both these circumstances had their share, doubtless, in\nproducing that restless, excited mood which hurried me forth at this late\nhour into the darkening grounds: but a third cause influenced my mind\nmore than they.", "I had at heart a strange and anxious thought.", "Something had happened\nwhich I could not comprehend; no one knew of or had seen the event but\nmyself: it had taken place the preceding night.", "Mr. Rochester that night\nwas absent from home; nor was he yet returned: business had called him to\na small estate of two or three farms he possessed thirty miles\noff--business it was requisite he should settle in person, previous to\nhis meditated departure from England.", "I waited now his return; eager to\ndisburthen my mind, and to seek of him the solution of the enigma that\nperplexed me.", "Stay till he comes, reader; and, when I disclose my secret\nto him, you shall share the confidence.", "I sought the orchard, driven to its shelter by the wind, which all day\nhad blown strong and full from the south, without, however, bringing a\nspeck of rain.", "Instead of subsiding as night drew on, it seemed to\naugment its rush and deepen its roar: the trees blew steadfastly one way,\nnever writhing round, and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an\nhour; so continuous was the strain bending their branchy heads\nnorthward--the clouds drifted from pole to pole, fast following, mass on\nmass: no glimpse of blue sky had been visible that July day.", "It was not without a certain wild pleasure I ran before the wind,\ndelivering my trouble of mind to the measureless air-torrent thundering\nthrough space.", "Descending the laurel walk, I faced the wreck of the\nchestnut-tree; it stood up black and riven: the trunk, split down the\ncentre, gasped ghastly.", "The cloven halves were not broken from each\nother, for the firm base and strong roots kept them unsundered below;\nthough community of vitality was destroyed--the sap could flow no more:\ntheir great boughs on each side were dead, and next winter's tempests\nwould be sure to fell one or both to earth: as yet, however, they might\nbe said to form one tree--a ruin, but an entire ruin.", "\"You did right to hold fast to each other,\" I said: as if the monster-\nsplinters were living things, and could hear me.", "\"I think, scathed as\nyou look, and charred and scorched, there must be a little sense of life\nin you yet, rising out of that adhesion at the faithful, honest roots:\nyou will never have green leaves more--never more see birds making nests\nand singing idyls in your boughs; the time of pleasure and love is over\nwith you: but you are not desolate: each of you has a comrade to\nsympathise with him in his decay.\"", "As I looked up at them, the moon\nappeared momentarily in that part of the sky which filled their fissure;\nher disk was blood-red and half overcast; she seemed to throw on me one\nbewildered, dreary glance, and buried herself again instantly in the deep\ndrift of cloud.", "The wind fell, for a second, round Thornfield; but far\naway over wood and water, poured a wild, melancholy wail: it was sad to\nlisten to, and I ran off again.", "Here and there I strayed through the orchard, gathered up the apples with\nwhich the grass round the tree roots was thickly strewn; then I employed\nmyself in dividing the ripe from the unripe; I carried them into the\nhouse and put them away in the store-room.", "Then I repaired to the\nlibrary to ascertain whether the fire was lit, for, though summer, I knew\non such a gloomy evening Mr. Rochester would like to see a cheerful\nhearth when he came in: yes, the fire had been kindled some time, and\nburnt well.", "I placed his arm-chair by the chimney-corner: I wheeled the\ntable near it: I let down the curtain, and had the candles brought in\nready for lighting.", "More restless than ever, when I had completed these\narrangements I could not sit still, nor even remain in the house: a\nlittle time-piece in the room and the old clock in the hall\nsimultaneously struck ten.", "\"How late it grows!\"", "I said.", "\"I will run down to the gates: it is\nmoonlight at intervals; I can see a good way on the road.", "He may be\ncoming now, and to meet him will save some minutes of suspense.\"", "The wind roared high in the great trees which embowered the gates; but\nthe road as far as I could see, to the right hand and the left, was all\nstill and solitary: save for the shadows of clouds crossing it at\nintervals as the moon looked out, it was but a long pale line, unvaried\nby one moving speck.", "A puerile tear dimmed my eye while I looked--a tear of disappointment and\nimpatience; ashamed of it, I wiped it away.", "I lingered; the moon shut\nherself wholly within her chamber, and drew close her curtain of dense\ncloud: the night grew dark; rain came driving fast on the gale.", "\"I wish he would come!", "I wish he would come!\"", "I exclaimed, seized with\nhypochondriac foreboding.", "I had expected his arrival before tea; now it\nwas dark: what could keep him?", "Had an accident happened?", "The event of\nlast night again recurred to me.", "I interpreted it as a warning of\ndisaster.", "I feared my hopes were too bright to be realised; and I had\nenjoyed so much bliss lately that I imagined my fortune had passed its\nmeridian, and must now decline.", "\"Well, I cannot return to the house,\" I thought; \"I cannot sit by the\nfireside, while he is abroad in inclement weather: better tire my limbs\nthan strain my heart; I will go forward and meet him.\"", "I set out; I walked fast, but not far: ere I had measured a quarter of a\nmile, I heard the tramp of hoofs; a horseman came on, full gallop; a dog\nran by his side.", "Away with evil presentiment!", "It was he: here he was,\nmounted on Mesrour, followed by Pilot.", "He saw me; for the moon had\nopened a blue field in the sky, and rode in it watery bright: he took his\nhat off, and waved it round his head.", "I now ran to meet him.", "\"There!\"", "he exclaimed, as he stretched out his hand and bent from the\nsaddle: \"You can't do without me, that is evident.", "Step on my boot-toe;\ngive me both hands: mount!\"", "I obeyed: joy made me agile: I sprang up before him.", "A hearty kissing I\ngot for a welcome, and some boastful triumph, which I swallowed as well\nas I could.", "He checked himself in his exultation to demand, \"But is\nthere anything the matter, Janet, that you come to meet me at such an\nhour?", "Is there anything wrong?\"", "\"No, but I thought you would never come.", "I could not bear to wait in the\nhouse for you, especially with this rain and wind.\"", "\"Rain and wind, indeed!", "Yes, you are dripping like a mermaid; pull my\ncloak round you: but I think you are feverish, Jane: both your cheek and\nhand are burning hot.", "I ask again, is there anything the matter?\"", "\"Nothing now; I am neither afraid nor unhappy.\"", "\"Then you have been both?\"", "\"Rather: but I'll tell you all about it by-and-bye, sir; and I daresay\nyou will only laugh at me for my pains.\"", "\"I'll laugh at you heartily when to-morrow is past; till then I dare not:\nmy prize is not certain.", "This is you, who have been as slippery as an\neel this last month, and as thorny as a briar-rose?", "I could not lay a\nfinger anywhere but I was pricked; and now I seem to have gathered up a\nstray lamb in my arms.", "You wandered out of the fold to seek your\nshepherd, did you, Jane?\"", "\"I wanted you: but don't boast.", "Here we are at Thornfield: now let me\nget down.\"", "He landed me on the pavement.", "As John took his horse, and he followed me\ninto the hall, he told me to make haste and put something dry on, and\nthen return to him in the library; and he stopped me, as I made for the\nstaircase, to extort a promise that I would not be long: nor was I long;\nin five minutes I rejoined him.", "I found him at supper.", "\"Take a seat and bear me company, Jane: please God, it is the last meal\nbut one you will eat at Thornfield Hall for a long time.\"", "I sat down near him, but told him I could not eat.", "\"Is it because you\nhave the prospect of a journey before you, Jane?", "Is it the thoughts of\ngoing to London that takes away your appetite?\"", "\"I cannot see my prospects clearly to-night, sir; and I hardly know what\nthoughts I have in my head.", "Everything in life seems unreal.\"", "\"Except me: I am substantial enough--touch me.\"", "\"You, sir, are the most phantom-like of all: you are a mere dream.\"", "He held out his hand, laughing.", "\"Is that a dream?\"", "said he, placing it\nclose to my eyes.", "He had a rounded, muscular, and vigorous hand, as well\nas a long, strong arm.", "\"Yes; though I touch it, it is a dream,\" said I, as I put it down from\nbefore my face.", "\"Sir, have you finished supper?\"", "\"Yes, Jane.\"", "I rang the bell and ordered away the tray.", "When we were again alone, I\nstirred the fire, and then took a low seat at my master's knee.", "\"It is near midnight,\" I said.", "\"Yes: but remember, Jane, you promised to wake with me the night before\nmy wedding.\"", "\"I did; and I will keep my promise, for an hour or two at least: I have\nno wish to go to bed.\"", "\"Are all your arrangements complete?\"", "\"All, sir.\"", "\"And on my part likewise,\" he returned, \"I have settled everything; and\nwe shall leave Thornfield to-morrow, within half-an-hour after our return\nfrom church.\"", "\"Very well, sir.\"", "\"With what an extraordinary smile you uttered that word--'very well,'\nJane!", "What a bright spot of colour you have on each cheek!", "and how\nstrangely your eyes glitter!", "Are you well?\"", "\"I believe I am.\"", "\"Believe!", "What is the matter?", "Tell me what you feel.\"", "\"I could not, sir: no words could tell you what I feel.", "I wish this\npresent hour would never end: who knows with what fate the next may come\ncharged?\"", "\"This is hypochondria, Jane.", "You have been over-excited, or\nover-fatigued.\"", "\"Do you, sir, feel calm and happy?\"", "\"Calm?--no: but happy--to the heart's core.\"", "I looked up at him to read the signs of bliss in his face: it was ardent\nand flushed.", "\"Give me your confidence, Jane,\" he said: \"relieve your mind of any\nweight that oppresses it, by imparting it to me.", "What do you fear?--that\nI shall not prove a good husband?\"", "\"It is the idea farthest from my thoughts.\"", "\"Are you apprehensive of the new sphere you are about to enter?--of the\nnew life into which you are passing?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"You puzzle me, Jane: your look and tone of sorrowful audacity perplex\nand pain me.", "I want an explanation.\"", "\"Then, sir, listen.", "You were from home last night?\"", "\"I was: I know that; and you hinted a while ago at something which had\nhappened in my absence:--nothing, probably, of consequence; but, in\nshort, it has disturbed you.", "Let me hear it.", "Mrs. Fairfax has said\nsomething, perhaps?", "or you have overheard the servants talk?--your\nsensitive self-respect has been wounded?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "It struck twelve--I waited till the time-piece had concluded\nits silver chime, and the clock its hoarse, vibrating stroke, and then I\nproceeded.", "\"All day yesterday I was very busy, and very happy in my ceaseless\nbustle; for I am not, as you seem to think, troubled by any haunting\nfears about the new sphere, et cetera: I think it a glorious thing to\nhave the hope of living with you, because I love you.", "No, sir, don't\ncaress me now--let me talk undisturbed.", "Yesterday I trusted well in\nProvidence, and believed that events were working together for your good\nand mine: it was a fine day, if you recollect--the calmness of the air\nand sky forbade apprehensions respecting your safety or comfort on your\njourney.", "I walked a little while on the pavement after tea, thinking of\nyou; and I beheld you in imagination so near me, I scarcely missed your\nactual presence.", "I thought of the life that lay before me--_your_ life,\nsir--an existence more expansive and stirring than my own: as much more\nso as the depths of the sea to which the brook runs are than the shallows\nof its own strait channel.", "I wondered why moralists call this world a\ndreary wilderness: for me it blossomed like a rose.", "Just at sunset, the\nair turned cold and the sky cloudy: I went in, Sophie called me upstairs\nto look at my wedding-dress, which they had just brought; and under it in\nthe box I found your present--the veil which, in your princely\nextravagance, you sent for from London: resolved, I suppose, since I\nwould not have jewels, to cheat me into accepting something as costly.", "I\nsmiled as I unfolded it, and devised how I would tease you about your\naristocratic tastes, and your efforts to masque your plebeian bride in\nthe attributes of a peeress.", "I thought how I would carry down to you the\nsquare of unembroidered blond I had myself prepared as a covering for my\nlow-born head, and ask if that was not good enough for a woman who could\nbring her husband neither fortune, beauty, nor connections.", "I saw\nplainly how you would look; and heard your impetuous republican answers,\nand your haughty disavowal of any necessity on your part to augment your\nwealth, or elevate your standing, by marrying either a purse or a\ncoronet.\"", "\"How well you read me, you witch!\"", "interposed Mr. Rochester: \"but what\ndid you find in the veil besides its embroidery?", "Did you find poison, or\na dagger, that you look so mournful now?\"", "\"No, no, sir; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric, I found\nnothing save Fairfax Rochester's pride; and that did not scare me,\nbecause I am used to the sight of the demon.", "But, sir, as it grew dark,\nthe wind rose: it blew yesterday evening, not as it blows now--wild and\nhigh--but 'with a sullen, moaning sound' far more eerie.", "I wished you\nwere at home.", "I came into this room, and the sight of the empty chair\nand fireless hearth chilled me.", "For some time after I went to bed, I\ncould not sleep--a sense of anxious excitement distressed me.", "The gale\nstill rising, seemed to my ear to muffle a mournful under-sound; whether\nin the house or abroad I could not at first tell, but it recurred,\ndoubtful yet doleful at every lull; at last I made out it must be some\ndog howling at a distance.", "I was glad when it ceased.", "On sleeping, I\ncontinued in dreams the idea of a dark and gusty night.", "I continued also\nthe wish to be with you, and experienced a strange, regretful\nconsciousness of some barrier dividing us.", "During all my first sleep, I\nwas following the windings of an unknown road; total obscurity environed\nme; rain pelted me; I was burdened with the charge of a little child: a\nvery small creature, too young and feeble to walk, and which shivered in\nmy cold arms, and wailed piteously in my ear.", "I thought, sir, that you\nwere on the road a long way before me; and I strained every nerve to\novertake you, and made effort on effort to utter your name and entreat\nyou to stop--but my movements were fettered, and my voice still died away\ninarticulate; while you, I felt, withdrew farther and farther every\nmoment.\"", "\"And these dreams weigh on your spirits now, Jane, when I am close to\nyou?", "Little nervous subject!", "Forget visionary woe, and think only of\nreal happiness!", "You say you love me, Janet: yes--I will not forget that;\nand you cannot deny it.", "_Those_ words did not die inarticulate on your\nlips.", "I heard them clear and soft: a thought too solemn perhaps, but\nsweet as music--'I think it is a glorious thing to have the hope of\nliving with you, Edward, because I love you.'", "Do you love me,\nJane?--repeat it.\"", "\"I do, sir--I do, with my whole heart.\"", "\"Well,\" he said, after some minutes' silence, \"it is strange; but that\nsentence has penetrated my breast painfully.", "Why?", "I think because you\nsaid it with such an earnest, religious energy, and because your upward\ngaze at me now is the very sublime of faith, truth, and devotion: it is\ntoo much as if some spirit were near me.", "Look wicked, Jane: as you know\nwell how to look: coin one of your wild, shy, provoking smiles; tell me\nyou hate me--tease me, vex me; do anything but move me: I would rather be\nincensed than saddened.\"", "\"I will tease you and vex you to your heart's content, when I have\nfinished my tale: but hear me to the end.\"", "\"I thought, Jane, you had told me all.", "I thought I had found the source\nof your melancholy in a dream.\"", "I shook my head.", "\"What!", "is there more?", "But I will not believe it to be\nanything important.", "I warn you of incredulity beforehand.", "Go on.\"", "The disquietude of his air, the somewhat apprehensive impatience of his\nmanner, surprised me: but I proceeded.", "\"I dreamt another dream, sir: that Thornfield Hall was a dreary ruin, the\nretreat of bats and owls.", "I thought that of all the stately front\nnothing remained but a shell-like wall, very high and very\nfragile-looking.", "I wandered, on a moonlight night, through the grass-\ngrown enclosure within: here I stumbled over a marble hearth, and there\nover a fallen fragment of cornice.", "Wrapped up in a shawl, I still\ncarried the unknown little child: I might not lay it down anywhere,\nhowever tired were my arms--however much its weight impeded my progress,\nI must retain it.", "I heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the\nroad; I was sure it was you; and you were departing for many years and\nfor a distant country.", "I climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous\nhaste, eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top: the stones rolled\nfrom under my feet, the ivy branches I grasped gave way, the child clung\nround my neck in terror, and almost strangled me; at last I gained the\nsummit.", "I saw you like a speck on a white track, lessening every moment.", "The blast blew so strong I could not stand.", "I sat down on the narrow\nledge; I hushed the scared infant in my lap: you turned an angle of the\nroad: I bent forward to take a last look; the wall crumbled; I was\nshaken; the child rolled from my knee, I lost my balance, fell, and\nwoke.\"", "\"Now, Jane, that is all.\"", "\"All the preface, sir; the tale is yet to come.", "On waking, a gleam\ndazzled my eyes; I thought--Oh, it is daylight!", "But I was mistaken; it\nwas only candlelight.", "Sophie, I supposed, had come in.", "There was a\nlight in the dressing-table, and the door of the closet, where, before\ngoing to bed, I had hung my wedding-dress and veil, stood open; I heard a\nrustling there.", "I asked, 'Sophie, what are you doing?'", "No one answered;\nbut a form emerged from the closet; it took the light, held it aloft, and\nsurveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau.", "'Sophie!", "Sophie!'", "I\nagain cried: and still it was silent.", "I had risen up in bed, I bent\nforward: first surprise, then bewilderment, came over me; and then my\nblood crept cold through my veins.", "Mr. Rochester, this was not Sophie,\nit was not Leah, it was not Mrs. Fairfax: it was not--no, I was sure of\nit, and am still--it was not even that strange woman, Grace Poole.\"", "\"It must have been one of them,\" interrupted my master.", "\"No, sir, I solemnly assure you to the contrary.", "The shape standing\nbefore me had never crossed my eyes within the precincts of Thornfield\nHall before; the height, the contour were new to me.\"", "\"Describe it, Jane.\"", "\"It seemed, sir, a woman, tall and large, with thick and dark hair\nhanging long down her back.", "I know not what dress she had on: it was\nwhite and straight; but whether gown, sheet, or shroud, I cannot tell.\"", "\"Did you see her face?\"", "\"Not at first.", "But presently she took my veil from its place; she held\nit up, gazed at it long, and then she threw it over her own head, and\nturned to the mirror.", "At that moment I saw the reflection of the visage\nand features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass.\"", "\"And how were they?\"", "\"Fearful and ghastly to me--oh, sir, I never saw a face like it!", "It was\na discoloured face--it was a savage face.", "I wish I could forget the roll\nof the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments!\"", "\"Ghosts are usually pale, Jane.\"", "\"This, sir, was purple: the lips were swelled and dark; the brow\nfurrowed: the black eyebrows widely raised over the bloodshot eyes.", "Shall\nI tell you of what it reminded me?\"", "\"You may.\"", "\"Of the foul German spectre--the Vampyre.\"", "\"Ah!--what did it do?\"", "\"Sir, it removed my veil from its gaunt head, rent it in two parts, and\nflinging both on the floor, trampled on them.\"", "{It removed my veil from its gaunt head, rent it in two parts, and\nflinging both on the floor, trampled on them: p272.jpg}\n\n\"Afterwards?\"", "\"It drew aside the window-curtain and looked out; perhaps it saw dawn\napproaching, for, taking the candle, it retreated to the door.", "Just at\nmy bedside, the figure stopped: the fiery eyes glared upon me--she thrust\nup her candle close to my face, and extinguished it under my eyes.", "I was\naware her lurid visage flamed over mine, and I lost consciousness: for\nthe second time in my life--only the second time--I became insensible\nfrom terror.\"", "\"Who was with you when you revived?\"", "\"No one, sir, but the broad day.", "I rose, bathed my head and face in\nwater, drank a long draught; felt that though enfeebled I was not ill,\nand determined that to none but you would I impart this vision.", "Now,\nsir, tell me who and what that woman was?\"", "\"The creature of an over-stimulated brain; that is certain.", "I must be\ncareful of you, my treasure: nerves like yours were not made for rough\nhandling.\"", "\"Sir, depend on it, my nerves were not in fault; the thing was real: the\ntransaction actually took place.\"", "\"And your previous dreams, were they real too?", "Is Thornfield Hall a\nruin?", "Am I severed from you by insuperable obstacles?", "Am I leaving you\nwithout a tear--without a kiss--without a word?\"", "\"Not yet.\"", "\"Am I about to do it?", "Why, the day is already commenced which is to bind\nus indissolubly; and when we are once united, there shall be no\nrecurrence of these mental terrors: I guarantee that.\"", "\"Mental terrors, sir!", "I wish I could believe them to be only such: I\nwish it more now than ever; since even you cannot explain to me the\nmystery of that awful visitant.\"", "\"And since I cannot do it, Jane, it must have been unreal.\"", "\"But, sir, when I said so to myself on rising this morning, and when I\nlooked round the room to gather courage and comfort from the cheerful\naspect of each familiar object in full daylight, there--on the carpet--I\nsaw what gave the distinct lie to my hypothesis,--the veil, torn from top\nto bottom in two halves!\"", "I felt Mr. Rochester start and shudder; he hastily flung his arms round\nme.", "\"Thank God!\"", "he exclaimed, \"that if anything malignant did come near\nyou last night, it was only the veil that was harmed.", "Oh, to think what\nmight have happened!\"", "He drew his breath short, and strained me so close to him, I could\nscarcely pant.", "After some minutes' silence, he continued, cheerily--\n\n\"Now, Janet, I'll explain to you all about it.", "It was half dream, half\nreality.", "A woman did, I doubt not, enter your room: and that woman\nwas--must have been--Grace Poole.", "You call her a strange being yourself:\nfrom all you know, you have reason so to call her--what did she do to me?", "what to Mason?", "In a state between sleeping and waking, you noticed her\nentrance and her actions; but feverish, almost delirious as you were, you\nascribed to her a goblin appearance different from her own: the long\ndishevelled hair, the swelled black face, the exaggerated stature, were\nfigments of imagination; results of nightmare: the spiteful tearing of\nthe veil was real: and it is like her.", "I see you would ask why I keep\nsuch a woman in my house: when we have been married a year and a day, I\nwill tell you; but not now.", "Are you satisfied, Jane?", "Do you accept my\nsolution of the mystery?\"", "I reflected, and in truth it appeared to me the only possible one:\nsatisfied I was not, but to please him I endeavoured to appear\nso--relieved, I certainly did feel; so I answered him with a contented\nsmile.", "And now, as it was long past one, I prepared to leave him.", "\"Does not Sophie sleep with Adele in the nursery?\"", "he asked, as I lit my\ncandle.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And there is room enough in Adele's little bed for you.", "You must share\nit with her to-night, Jane: it is no wonder that the incident you have\nrelated should make you nervous, and I would rather you did not sleep\nalone: promise me to go to the nursery.\"", "\"I shall be very glad to do so, sir.\"", "\"And fasten the door securely on the inside.", "Wake Sophie when you go\nupstairs, under pretence of requesting her to rouse you in good time to-\nmorrow; for you must be dressed and have finished breakfast before eight.", "And now, no more sombre thoughts: chase dull care away, Janet.", "Don't you\nhear to what soft whispers the wind has fallen?", "and there is no more\nbeating of rain against the window-panes: look here\" (he lifted up the\ncurtain)--\"it is a lovely night!\"", "It was.", "Half heaven was pure and stainless: the clouds, now trooping\nbefore the wind, which had shifted to the west, were filing off eastward\nin long, silvered columns.", "The moon shone peacefully.", "\"Well,\" said Mr. Rochester, gazing inquiringly into my eyes, \"how is my\nJanet now?\"", "\"The night is serene, sir; and so am I.\"", "\"And you will not dream of separation and sorrow to-night; but of happy\nlove and blissful union.\"", "This prediction was but half fulfilled: I did not indeed dream of sorrow,\nbut as little did I dream of joy; for I never slept at all.", "With little\nAdele in my arms, I watched the slumber of childhood--so tranquil, so\npassionless, so innocent--and waited for the coming day: all my life was\nawake and astir in my frame: and as soon as the sun rose I rose too.", "I\nremember Adele clung to me as I left her: I remember I kissed her as I\nloosened her little hands from my neck; and I cried over her with strange\nemotion, and quitted her because I feared my sobs would break her still\nsound repose.", "She seemed the emblem of my past life; and here I was now\nto array myself to meet, the dread, but adored, type of my unknown future\nday." ]

[ "Encroach, presume, and the game is\nup.\"", "\"Once again, seriously; may I enjoy the great good that has been\nvouchsafed to me, without fearing that any one else is suffering the\nbitter pain I myself felt a while ago?\"", "I was soon dressed; and when I heard Mr. Rochester quit Mrs. Fairfax's\nparlour, I hurried down to it.", "\"Why?--am I a monster?\"", "\"I have formed no supposition on the subject, sir; but I want to go on as\nusual for another month.\"", "\"Well, I cannot return to the house,\" I thought; \"I cannot sit by the\nfireside, while he is abroad in inclement weather: better tire my limbs\nthan strain my heart; I will go forward and meet him.\"", "You have been over-excited, or\nover-fatigued.\"", "Mrs. Fairfax has said\nsomething, perhaps?", "\"No, no, sir; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric, I found\nnothing save Fairfax Rochester's pride; and that did not scare me,\nbecause I am used to the sight of the demon.", "I heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the\nroad; I was sure it was you; and you were departing for many years and\nfor a distant country." ]

[ "\"Speak!", "\"Impossible!--when I told you how she, on the contrary, deserted me: the\nidea of my insolvency cooled, or rather extinguished, her flame in a\nmoment.\"", "I have observed in books written by men, that period assigned\nas the farthest to which a husband's ardour extends.", "And haunted as a robber-path\n Through wilderness or wood;\n For Might and Right, and Woe and Wrath,\n Between our spirits stood.", "He rose and came towards me, and I saw his face all kindled, and his full\nfalcon-eye flashing, and tenderness and passion in every lineament.", "Jewels for Jane Eyre sounds unnatural and strange: I would rather not\nhave them.\"", "\"It can never be, sir; it does not sound likely.", "Encroach, presume, and the game is\nup.\"", "\"Is it because you\nhave the prospect of a journey before you, Jane?", "I felt Mr. Rochester start and shudder; he hastily flung his arms round\nme." ]

[ "\"Indeed, begging your pardon, sir, I shall not.", "I shall just go on with\nit as usual.", "I shall keep out of your way all day, as I have been\naccustomed to do: you may send for me in the evening, when you feel\ndisposed to see me, and I'll come then; but at no other time.\"", "\"I want a smoke, Jane, or a pinch of snuff, to comfort me under all this,\n'pour me donner une contenance,' as Adele would say; and unfortunately I\nhave neither my cigar-case, nor my snuff-box.", "But listen--whisper.", "It\nis your time now, little tyrant, but it will be mine presently; and when\nonce I have fairly seized you, to have and to hold, I'll\njust--figuratively speaking--attach you to a chain like this\" (touching\nhis watch-guard).", "\"Yes, bonny wee thing, I'll wear you in my bosom, lest\nmy jewel I should tyne.\"", "He said this as he helped me to alight from the carriage, and while he\nafterwards lifted out Adele, I entered the house, and made good my\nretreat upstairs.", "He duly summoned me to his presence in the evening.", "I had prepared an\noccupation for him; for I was determined not to spend the whole time in a\n_tete-a-tete_ conversation.", "I remembered his fine voice; I knew he liked\nto sing--good singers generally do." ]

[ "\n\nAs I rose and dressed, I thought over what had happened, and wondered if\nit were a dream.", "I could not be certain of the reality till I had seen\nMr. Rochester again, and heard him renew his words of love and promise.", "While arranging my hair, I looked at my face in the glass, and felt it\nwas no longer plain: there was hope in its aspect and life in its colour;\nand my eyes seemed as if they had beheld the fount of fruition, and\nborrowed beams from the lustrous ripple.", "I had often been unwilling to\nlook at my master, because I feared he could not be pleased at my look;\nbut I was sure I might lift my face to his now, and not cool his\naffection by its expression.", "I took a plain but clean and light summer\ndress from my drawer and put it on: it seemed no attire had ever so well\nbecome me, because none had I ever worn in so blissful a mood.", "I was not surprised, when I ran down into the hall, to see that a\nbrilliant June morning had succeeded to the tempest of the night; and to\nfeel, through the open glass door, the breathing of a fresh and fragrant\nbreeze.", "Nature must be gladsome when I was so happy.", "A beggar-woman and\nher little boy--pale, ragged objects both--were coming up the walk, and I\nran down and gave them all the money I happened to have in my purse--some\nthree or four shillings: good or bad, they must partake of my jubilee.", "The rooks cawed, and blither birds sang; but nothing was so merry or so\nmusical as my own rejoicing heart.", "Mrs. Fairfax surprised me by looking out of the window with a sad\ncountenance, and saying gravely--\"Miss Eyre, will you come to breakfast?\"", "It was.", "Half heaven was pure and stainless: the clouds, now trooping\nbefore the wind, which had shifted to the west, were filing off eastward\nin long, silvered columns.", "The moon shone peacefully.", "\"Well,\" said Mr. Rochester, gazing inquiringly into my eyes, \"how is my\nJanet now?\"", "\"The night is serene, sir; and so am I.\"", "\"And you will not dream of separation and sorrow to-night; but of happy\nlove and blissful union.\"", "This prediction was but half fulfilled: I did not indeed dream of sorrow,\nbut as little did I dream of joy; for I never slept at all.", "With little\nAdele in my arms, I watched the slumber of childhood--so tranquil, so\npassionless, so innocent--and waited for the coming day: all my life was\nawake and astir in my frame: and as soon as the sun rose I rose too.", "I\nremember Adele clung to me as I left her: I remember I kissed her as I\nloosened her little hands from my neck; and I cried over her with strange\nemotion, and quitted her because I feared my sobs would break her still\nsound repose.", "She seemed the emblem of my past life; and here I was now\nto array myself to meet, the dread, but adored, type of my unknown future\nday." ]

[ "\n\nSophie came at seven to dress me: she was very long indeed in\naccomplishing her task; so long that Mr. Rochester, grown, I suppose,\nimpatient of my delay, sent up to ask why I did not come.", "She was just\nfastening my veil (the plain square of blond after all) to my hair with a\nbrooch; I hurried from under her hands as soon as I could.", "\"Stop!\"", "she cried in French.", "\"Look at yourself in the mirror: you have\nnot taken one peep.\"", "So I turned at the door: I saw a robed and veiled figure, so unlike my\nusual self that it seemed almost the image of a stranger.", "\"Jane!\"", "called\na voice, and I hastened down.", "I was received at the foot of the stairs\nby Mr. Rochester.", "\"Lingerer!\"", "he said, \"my brain is on fire with impatience, and you tarry\nso long!\"", "He took me into the dining-room, surveyed me keenly all over, pronounced\nme \"fair as a lily, and not only the pride of his life, but the desire of\nhis eyes,\" and then telling me he would give me but ten minutes to eat\nsome breakfast, he rang the bell.", "One of his lately hired servants, a\nfootman, answered it.", "\"Is John getting the carriage ready?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Is the luggage brought down?\"", "\"They are bringing it down, sir.\"", "\"Go you to the church: see if Mr. Wood (the clergyman) and the clerk are\nthere: return and tell me.\"", "The church, as the reader knows, was but just beyond the gates; the\nfootman soon returned.", "\"Mr. Wood is in the vestry, sir, putting on his surplice.\"", "\"And the carriage?\"", "\"The horses are harnessing.\"", "\"We shall not want it to go to church; but it must be ready the moment we\nreturn: all the boxes and luggage arranged and strapped on, and the\ncoachman in his seat.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Jane, are you ready?\"", "I rose.", "There were no groomsmen, no bridesmaids, no relatives to wait\nfor or marshal: none but Mr. Rochester and I. Mrs. Fairfax stood in the\nhall as we passed.", "I would fain have spoken to her, but my hand was\nheld by a grasp of iron: I was hurried along by a stride I could hardly\nfollow; and to look at Mr. Rochester's face was to feel that not a second\nof delay would be tolerated for any purpose.", "I wonder what other\nbridegroom ever looked as he did--so bent up to a purpose, so grimly\nresolute: or who, under such steadfast brows, ever revealed such flaming\nand flashing eyes.", "I know not whether the day was fair or foul; in descending the drive, I\ngazed neither on sky nor earth: my heart was with my eyes; and both\nseemed migrated into Mr. Rochester's frame.", "I wanted to see the\ninvisible thing on which, as we went along, he appeared to fasten a\nglance fierce and fell.", "I wanted to feel the thoughts whose force he\nseemed breasting and resisting.", "At the churchyard wicket he stopped: he discovered I was quite out of\nbreath.", "\"Am I cruel in my love?\"", "he said.", "\"Delay an instant: lean on\nme, Jane.\"", "And now I can recall the picture of the grey old house of God rising calm\nbefore me, of a rook wheeling round the steeple, of a ruddy morning sky\nbeyond.", "I remember something, too, of the green grave-mounds; and I have\nnot forgotten, either, two figures of strangers straying amongst the low\nhillocks and reading the mementoes graven on the few mossy head-stones.", "I\nnoticed them, because, as they saw us, they passed round to the back of\nthe church; and I doubted not they were going to enter by the side-aisle\ndoor and witness the ceremony.", "By Mr. Rochester they were not observed;\nhe was earnestly looking at my face from which the blood had, I daresay,\nmomentarily fled: for I felt my forehead dewy, and my cheeks and lips\ncold.", "When I rallied, which I soon did, he walked gently with me up the\npath to the porch.", "We entered the quiet and humble temple; the priest waited in his white\nsurplice at the lowly altar, the clerk beside him.", "All was still: two\nshadows only moved in a remote corner.", "My conjecture had been correct:\nthe strangers had slipped in before us, and they now stood by the vault\nof the Rochesters, their backs towards us, viewing through the rails the\nold time-stained marble tomb, where a kneeling angel guarded the remains\nof Damer de Rochester, slain at Marston Moor in the time of the civil\nwars, and of Elizabeth, his wife.", "Our place was taken at the communion rails.", "Hearing a cautious step\nbehind me, I glanced over my shoulder: one of the strangers--a gentleman,\nevidently--was advancing up the chancel.", "The service began.", "The\nexplanation of the intent of matrimony was gone through; and then the\nclergyman came a step further forward, and, bending slightly towards Mr.\nRochester, went on.", "\"I require and charge you both (as ye will answer at the dreadful day of\njudgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed), that if\neither of you know any impediment why ye may not lawfully be joined\ntogether in matrimony, ye do now confess it; for be ye well assured that\nso many as are coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow, are\nnot joined together by God, neither is their matrimony lawful.\"", "He paused, as the custom is.", "When is the pause after that sentence ever\nbroken by reply?", "Not, perhaps, once in a hundred years.", "And the\nclergyman, who had not lifted his eyes from his book, and had held his\nbreath but for a moment, was proceeding: his hand was already stretched\ntowards Mr. Rochester, as his lips unclosed to ask, \"Wilt thou have this\nwoman for thy wedded wife?\"", "--when a distinct and near voice said--\n\n\"The marriage cannot go on: I declare the existence of an impediment.\"", "The clergyman looked up at the speaker and stood mute; the clerk did the\nsame; Mr. Rochester moved slightly, as if an earthquake had rolled under\nhis feet: taking a firmer footing, and not turning his head or eyes, he\nsaid, \"Proceed.\"", "Profound silence fell when he had uttered that word, with deep but low\nintonation.", "Presently Mr. Wood said--\n\n\"I cannot proceed without some investigation into what has been asserted,\nand evidence of its truth or falsehood.\"", "\"The ceremony is quite broken off,\" subjoined the voice behind us.", "\"I am\nin a condition to prove my allegation: an insuperable impediment to this\nmarriage exists.\"", "Mr. Rochester heard, but heeded not: he stood stubborn and rigid, making\nno movement but to possess himself of my hand.", "What a hot and strong\ngrasp he had!", "and how like quarried marble was his pale, firm, massive\nfront at this moment!", "How his eye shone, still watchful, and yet wild\nbeneath!", "Mr. Wood seemed at a loss.", "\"What is the nature of the impediment?\"", "he\nasked.", "\"Perhaps it may be got over--explained away?\"", "\"Hardly,\" was the answer.", "\"I have called it insuperable, and I speak\nadvisedly.\"", "The speaker came forward and leaned on the rails.", "He continued, uttering\neach word distinctly, calmly, steadily, but not loudly--\n\n\"It simply consists in the existence of a previous marriage.", "Mr.\nRochester has a wife now living.\"", "My nerves vibrated to those low-spoken words as they had never vibrated\nto thunder--my blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt\nfrost or fire; but I was collected, and in no danger of swooning.", "I\nlooked at Mr. Rochester: I made him look at me.", "His whole face was\ncolourless rock: his eye was both spark and flint.", "He disavowed nothing:\nhe seemed as if he would defy all things.", "Without speaking, without\nsmiling, without seeming to recognise in me a human being, he only twined\nmy waist with his arm and riveted me to his side.", "\"Who are you?\"", "he asked of the intruder.", "\"My name is Briggs, a solicitor of --- Street, London.\"", "\"And you would thrust on me a wife?\"", "\"I would remind you of your lady's existence, sir, which the law\nrecognises, if you do not.\"", "\"Favour me with an account of her--with her name, her parentage, her\nplace of abode.\"", "\"Certainly.\"", "Mr. Briggs calmly took a paper from his pocket, and read\nout in a sort of official, nasal voice:--\n\n\"'I affirm and can prove that on the 20th of October A.D. --- (a date of\nfifteen years back), Edward Fairfax Rochester, of Thornfield Hall, in the\ncounty of ---, and of Ferndean Manor, in ---shire, England, was married\nto my sister, Bertha Antoinetta Mason, daughter of Jonas Mason, merchant,\nand of Antoinetta his wife, a Creole, at --- church, Spanish Town,\nJamaica.", "The record of the marriage will be found in the register of\nthat church--a copy of it is now in my possession.", "Signed, Richard\nMason.'\"", "\"That--if a genuine document--may prove I have been married, but it does\nnot prove that the woman mentioned therein as my wife is still living.\"", "\"She was living three months ago,\" returned the lawyer.", "\"How do you know?\"", "\"I have a witness to the fact, whose testimony even you, sir, will\nscarcely controvert.\"", "\"Produce him--or go to hell.\"", "\"I will produce him first--he is on the spot.", "Mr. Mason, have the\ngoodness to step forward.\"", "Mr. Rochester, on hearing the name, set his teeth; he experienced, too, a\nsort of strong convulsive quiver; near to him as I was, I felt the\nspasmodic movement of fury or despair run through his frame.", "The second\nstranger, who had hitherto lingered in the background, now drew near; a\npale face looked over the solicitor's shoulder--yes, it was Mason\nhimself.", "Mr. Rochester turned and glared at him.", "His eye, as I have\noften said, was a black eye: it had now a tawny, nay, a bloody light in\nits gloom; and his face flushed--olive cheek and hueless forehead\nreceived a glow as from spreading, ascending heart-fire: and he stirred,\nlifted his strong arm--he could have struck Mason, dashed him on the\nchurch-floor, shocked by ruthless blow the breath from his body--but\nMason shrank away, and cried faintly, \"Good God!\"", "Contempt fell cool on\nMr. Rochester--his passion died as if a blight had shrivelled it up: he\nonly asked--\"What have _you_ to say?\"", "An inaudible reply escaped Mason's white lips.", "\"The devil is in it if you cannot answer distinctly.", "I again demand,\nwhat have you to say?\"", "\"Sir--sir,\" interrupted the clergyman, \"do not forget you are in a sacred\nplace.\"", "Then addressing Mason, he inquired gently, \"Are you aware, sir,\nwhether or not this gentleman's wife is still living?\"", "\"Courage,\" urged the lawyer,--\"speak out.\"", "\"She is now living at Thornfield Hall,\" said Mason, in more articulate\ntones: \"I saw her there last April.", "I am her brother.\"", "\"At Thornfield Hall!\"", "ejaculated the clergyman.", "\"Impossible!", "I am an\nold resident in this neighbourhood, sir, and I never heard of a Mrs.\nRochester at Thornfield Hall.\"", "I saw a grim smile contort Mr. Rochester's lips, and he muttered--\n\n\"No, by God!", "I took care that none should hear of it--or of her under\nthat name.\"", "He mused--for ten minutes he held counsel with himself: he\nformed his resolve, and announced it--\n\n\"Enough!", "all shall bolt out at once, like the bullet from the barrel.", "Wood, close your book and take off your surplice; John Green (to the\nclerk), leave the church: there will be no wedding to-day.\"", "The man\nobeyed.", "Mr. Rochester continued, hardily and recklessly: \"Bigamy is an ugly\nword!--I meant, however, to be a bigamist; but fate has out-manoeuvred\nme, or Providence has checked me,--perhaps the last.", "I am little better\nthan a devil at this moment; and, as my pastor there would tell me,\ndeserve no doubt the sternest judgments of God, even to the quenchless\nfire and deathless worm.", "Gentlemen, my plan is broken up:--what this\nlawyer and his client say is true: I have been married, and the woman to\nwhom I was married lives!", "You say you never heard of a Mrs. Rochester at\nthe house up yonder, Wood; but I daresay you have many a time inclined\nyour ear to gossip about the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch\nand ward.", "Some have whispered to you that she is my bastard half-sister:\nsome, my cast-off mistress.", "I now inform you that she is my wife, whom I\nmarried fifteen years ago,--Bertha Mason by name; sister of this resolute\npersonage, who is now, with his quivering limbs and white cheeks, showing\nyou what a stout heart men may bear.", "Cheer up, Dick!--never fear me!--I'd\nalmost as soon strike a woman as you.", "Bertha Mason is mad; and she came\nof a mad family; idiots and maniacs through three generations!", "Her\nmother, the Creole, was both a madwoman and a drunkard!--as I found out\nafter I had wed the daughter: for they were silent on family secrets\nbefore.", "Bertha, like a dutiful child, copied her parent in both points.", "I had a charming partner--pure, wise, modest: you can fancy I was a happy\nman.", "I went through rich scenes!", "Oh!", "my experience has been heavenly,\nif you only knew it!", "But I owe you no further explanation.", "Briggs,\nWood, Mason, I invite you all to come up to the house and visit Mrs.\nPoole's patient, and _my wife_!", "You shall see what sort of a being I was\ncheated into espousing, and judge whether or not I had a right to break\nthe compact, and seek sympathy with something at least human.", "This\ngirl,\" he continued, looking at me, \"knew no more than you, Wood, of the\ndisgusting secret: she thought all was fair and legal and never dreamt\nshe was going to be entrapped into a feigned union with a defrauded\nwretch, already bound to a bad, mad, and embruted partner!", "Come all of\nyou--follow!\"", "Still holding me fast, he left the church: the three gentlemen came\nafter.", "At the front door of the hall we found the carriage.", "\"Take it back to the coach-house, John,\" said Mr. Rochester coolly; \"it\nwill not be wanted to-day.\"", "At our entrance, Mrs. Fairfax, Adele, Sophie, Leah, advanced to meet and\ngreet us.", "\"To the right-about--every soul!\"", "cried the master; \"away with your\ncongratulations!", "Who wants them?", "Not I!--they are fifteen years too\nlate!\"", "He passed on and ascended the stairs, still holding my hand, and still\nbeckoning the gentlemen to follow him, which they did.", "We mounted the\nfirst staircase, passed up the gallery, proceeded to the third storey:\nthe low, black door, opened by Mr. Rochester's master-key, admitted us to\nthe tapestried room, with its great bed and its pictorial cabinet.", "\"You know this place, Mason,\" said our guide; \"she bit and stabbed you\nhere.\"", "He lifted the hangings from the wall, uncovering the second door: this,\ntoo, he opened.", "In a room without a window, there burnt a fire guarded\nby a high and strong fender, and a lamp suspended from the ceiling by a\nchain.", "Grace Poole bent over the fire, apparently cooking something in a\nsaucepan.", "In the deep shade, at the farther end of the room, a figure\nran backwards and forwards.", "What it was, whether beast or human being,\none could not, at first sight, tell: it grovelled, seemingly, on all\nfours; it snatched and growled like some strange wild animal: but it was\ncovered with clothing, and a quantity of dark, grizzled hair, wild as a\nmane, hid its head and face.", "\"Good-morrow, Mrs.", "Poole!\"", "said Mr. Rochester.", "\"How are you?", "and how is\nyour charge to-day?\"", "\"We're tolerable, sir, I thank you,\" replied Grace, lifting the boiling\nmess carefully on to the hob: \"rather snappish, but not 'rageous.\"", "A fierce cry seemed to give the lie to her favourable report: the clothed\nhyena rose up, and stood tall on its hind-feet.", "\"Ah!", "sir, she sees you!\"", "exclaimed Grace: \"you'd better not stay.\"", "\"Only a few moments, Grace: you must allow me a few moments.\"", "\"Take care then, sir!--for God's sake, take care!\"", "The maniac bellowed: she parted her shaggy locks from her visage, and\ngazed wildly at her visitors.", "I recognised well that purple face,--those\nbloated features.", "Mrs. Poole advanced.", "\"Keep out of the way,\" said Mr. Rochester, thrusting her aside: \"she has\nno knife now, I suppose, and I'm on my guard.\"", "\"One never knows what she has, sir: she is so cunning: it is not in\nmortal discretion to fathom her craft.\"", "\"We had better leave her,\" whispered Mason.", "\"Go to the devil!\"", "was his brother-in-law's recommendation.", "\"'Ware!\"", "cried Grace.", "The three gentlemen retreated simultaneously.", "Mr.\nRochester flung me behind him: the lunatic sprang and grappled his throat\nviciously, and laid her teeth to his cheek: they struggled.", "She was a\nbig woman, in stature almost equalling her husband, and corpulent\nbesides: she showed virile force in the contest--more than once she\nalmost throttled him, athletic as he was.", "He could have settled her with\na well-planted blow; but he would not strike: he would only wrestle.", "At\nlast he mastered her arms; Grace Poole gave him a cord, and he pinioned\nthem behind her: with more rope, which was at hand, he bound her to a\nchair.", "The operation was performed amidst the fiercest yells and the\nmost convulsive plunges.", "Mr. Rochester then turned to the spectators: he\nlooked at them with a smile both acrid and desolate.", "\"That is _my wife_,\" said he.", "\"Such is the sole conjugal embrace I am\never to know--such are the endearments which are to solace my leisure\nhours!", "And _this_ is what I wished to have\" (laying his hand on my\nshoulder): \"this young girl, who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth\nof hell, looking collectedly at the gambols of a demon, I wanted her just\nas a change after that fierce ragout.", "Wood and Briggs, look at the\ndifference!", "Compare these clear eyes with the red balls yonder--this\nface with that mask--this form with that bulk; then judge me, priest of\nthe gospel and man of the law, and remember with what judgment ye judge\nye shall be judged!", "Off with you now.", "I must shut up my prize.\"", "We all withdrew.", "Mr. Rochester stayed a moment behind us, to give some\nfurther order to Grace Poole.", "The solicitor addressed me as he descended\nthe stair.", "\"You, madam,\" said he, \"are cleared from all blame: your uncle will be\nglad to hear it--if, indeed, he should be still living--when Mr. Mason\nreturns to Madeira.\"", "\"My uncle!", "What of him?", "Do you know him?\"", "\"Mr. Mason does.", "Mr. Eyre has been the Funchal correspondent of his\nhouse for some years.", "When your uncle received your letter intimating\nthe contemplated union between yourself and Mr. Rochester, Mr. Mason, who\nwas staying at Madeira to recruit his health, on his way back to Jamaica,\nhappened to be with him.", "Mr. Eyre mentioned the intelligence; for he\nknew that my client here was acquainted with a gentleman of the name of\nRochester.", "Mr. Mason, astonished and distressed as you may suppose,\nrevealed the real state of matters.", "Your uncle, I am sorry to say, is\nnow on a sick bed; from which, considering the nature of his\ndisease--decline--and the stage it has reached, it is unlikely he will\never rise.", "He could not then hasten to England himself, to extricate you\nfrom the snare into which you had fallen, but he implored Mr. Mason to\nlose no time in taking steps to prevent the false marriage.", "He referred\nhim to me for assistance.", "I used all despatch, and am thankful I was not\ntoo late: as you, doubtless, must be also.", "Were I not morally certain\nthat your uncle will be dead ere you reach Madeira, I would advise you to\naccompany Mr. Mason back; but as it is, I think you had better remain in\nEngland till you can hear further, either from or of Mr. Eyre.", "Have we\nanything else to stay for?\"", "he inquired of Mr. Mason.", "\"No, no--let us be gone,\" was the anxious reply; and without waiting to\ntake leave of Mr. Rochester, they made their exit at the hall door.", "The\nclergyman stayed to exchange a few sentences, either of admonition or\nreproof, with his haughty parishioner; this duty done, he too departed.", "I heard him go as I stood at the half-open door of my own room, to which\nI had now withdrawn.", "The house cleared, I shut myself in, fastened the\nbolt that none might intrude, and proceeded--not to weep, not to mourn, I\nwas yet too calm for that, but--mechanically to take off the wedding\ndress, and replace it by the stuff gown I had worn yesterday, as I\nthought, for the last time.", "I then sat down: I felt weak and tired.", "I\nleaned my arms on a table, and my head dropped on them.", "And now I\nthought: till now I had only heard, seen, moved--followed up and down\nwhere I was led or dragged--watched event rush on event, disclosure open\nbeyond disclosure: but _now_, _I thought_.", "The morning had been a quiet morning enough--all except the brief scene\nwith the lunatic: the transaction in the church had not been noisy; there\nwas no explosion of passion, no loud altercation, no dispute, no defiance\nor challenge, no tears, no sobs: a few words had been spoken, a calmly\npronounced objection to the marriage made; some stern, short questions\nput by Mr. Rochester; answers, explanations given, evidence adduced; an\nopen admission of the truth had been uttered by my master; then the\nliving proof had been seen; the intruders were gone, and all was over.", "I was in my own room as usual--just myself, without obvious change:\nnothing had smitten me, or scathed me, or maimed me.", "And yet where was\nthe Jane Eyre of yesterday?--where was her life?--where were her\nprospects?", "Jane Eyre, who had been an ardent, expectant woman--almost a bride, was a\ncold, solitary girl again: her life was pale; her prospects were\ndesolate.", "A Christmas frost had come at midsummer; a white December\nstorm had whirled over June; ice glazed the ripe apples, drifts crushed\nthe blowing roses; on hayfield and cornfield lay a frozen shroud: lanes\nwhich last night blushed full of flowers, to-day were pathless with\nuntrodden snow; and the woods, which twelve hours since waved leafy and\nflagrant as groves between the tropics, now spread, waste, wild, and\nwhite as pine-forests in wintry Norway.", "My hopes were all dead--struck\nwith a subtle doom, such as, in one night, fell on all the first-born in\nthe land of Egypt.", "I looked on my cherished wishes, yesterday so\nblooming and glowing; they lay stark, chill, livid corpses that could\nnever revive.", "I looked at my love: that feeling which was my\nmaster's--which he had created; it shivered in my heart, like a suffering\nchild in a cold cradle; sickness and anguish had seized it; it could not\nseek Mr. Rochester's arms--it could not derive warmth from his breast.", "Oh, never more could it turn to him; for faith was blighted--confidence\ndestroyed!", "Mr. Rochester was not to me what he had been; for he was not\nwhat I had thought him.", "I would not ascribe vice to him; I would not say\nhe had betrayed me; but the attribute of stainless truth was gone from\nhis idea, and from his presence I must go: _that_ I perceived well.", "When--how--whither, I could not yet discern; but he himself, I doubted\nnot, would hurry me from Thornfield.", "Real affection, it seemed, he could\nnot have for me; it had been only fitful passion: that was balked; he\nwould want me no more.", "I should fear even to cross his path now: my view\nmust be hateful to him.", "Oh, how blind had been my eyes!", "How weak my\nconduct!", "My eyes were covered and closed: eddying darkness seemed to swim round\nme, and reflection came in as black and confused a flow.", "Self-abandoned,\nrelaxed, and effortless, I seemed to have laid me down in the dried-up\nbed of a great river; I heard a flood loosened in remote mountains, and\nfelt the torrent come: to rise I had no will, to flee I had no strength.", "I lay faint, longing to be dead.", "One idea only still throbbed life-like\nwithin me--a remembrance of God: it begot an unuttered prayer: these\nwords went wandering up and down in my rayless mind, as something that\nshould be whispered, but no energy was found to express them--\n\n\"Be not far from me, for trouble is near: there is none to help.\"", "It was near: and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it--as I\nhad neither joined my hands, nor bent my knees, nor moved my lips--it\ncame: in full heavy swing the torrent poured over me.", "The whole\nconsciousness of my life lorn, my love lost, my hope quenched, my faith\ndeath-struck, swayed full and mighty above me in one sullen mass.", "That\nbitter hour cannot be described: in truth, \"the waters came into my soul;\nI sank in deep mire: I felt no standing; I came into deep waters; the\nfloods overflowed me.\"" ]

[ "\"Yes, sir.\"", "And the\nclergyman, who had not lifted his eyes from his book, and had held his\nbreath but for a moment, was proceeding: his hand was already stretched\ntowards Mr. Rochester, as his lips unclosed to ask, \"Wilt thou have this\nwoman for thy wedded wife?\"", "all shall bolt out at once, like the bullet from the barrel.", "Her\nmother, the Creole, was both a madwoman and a drunkard!--as I found out\nafter I had wed the daughter: for they were silent on family secrets\nbefore.", "my experience has been heavenly,\nif you only knew it!", "Grace Poole bent over the fire, apparently cooking something in a\nsaucepan.", "The three gentlemen retreated simultaneously.", "And _this_ is what I wished to have\" (laying his hand on my\nshoulder): \"this young girl, who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth\nof hell, looking collectedly at the gambols of a demon, I wanted her just\nas a change after that fierce ragout.", "\"No, no--let us be gone,\" was the anxious reply; and without waiting to\ntake leave of Mr. Rochester, they made their exit at the hall door.", "My eyes were covered and closed: eddying darkness seemed to swim round\nme, and reflection came in as black and confused a flow." ]

[ "Mr. Mason, astonished and distressed as you may suppose,\nrevealed the real state of matters.", "\"You know this place, Mason,\" said our guide; \"she bit and stabbed you\nhere.\"", "I looked at my love: that feeling which was my\nmaster's--which he had created; it shivered in my heart, like a suffering\nchild in a cold cradle; sickness and anguish had seized it; it could not\nseek Mr. Rochester's arms--it could not derive warmth from his breast.", "We entered the quiet and humble temple; the priest waited in his white\nsurplice at the lowly altar, the clerk beside him.", "\"Delay an instant: lean on\nme, Jane.\"", "\"Certainly.\"", "I then sat down: I felt weak and tired.", "Mr. Eyre mentioned the intelligence; for he\nknew that my client here was acquainted with a gentleman of the name of\nRochester.", "My hopes were all dead--struck\nwith a subtle doom, such as, in one night, fell on all the first-born in\nthe land of Egypt.", "We all withdrew." ]

[ "He mused--for ten minutes he held counsel with himself: he\nformed his resolve, and announced it--\n\n\"Enough!", "all shall bolt out at once, like the bullet from the barrel.", "Wood, close your book and take off your surplice; John Green (to the\nclerk), leave the church: there will be no wedding to-day.\"", "The man\nobeyed.", "Mr. Rochester continued, hardily and recklessly: \"Bigamy is an ugly\nword!--I meant, however, to be a bigamist; but fate has out-manoeuvred\nme, or Providence has checked me,--perhaps the last.", "I am little better\nthan a devil at this moment; and, as my pastor there would tell me,\ndeserve no doubt the sternest judgments of God, even to the quenchless\nfire and deathless worm.", "Gentlemen, my plan is broken up:--what this\nlawyer and his client say is true: I have been married, and the woman to\nwhom I was married lives!", "You say you never heard of a Mrs. Rochester at\nthe house up yonder, Wood; but I daresay you have many a time inclined\nyour ear to gossip about the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch\nand ward.", "Some have whispered to you that she is my bastard half-sister:\nsome, my cast-off mistress.", "I now inform you that she is my wife, whom I\nmarried fifteen years ago,--Bertha Mason by name; sister of this resolute\npersonage, who is now, with his quivering limbs and white cheeks, showing\nyou what a stout heart men may bear.", "Cheer up, Dick!--never fear me!--I'd\nalmost as soon strike a woman as you." ]

[ "\n\nSophie came at seven to dress me: she was very long indeed in\naccomplishing her task; so long that Mr. Rochester, grown, I suppose,\nimpatient of my delay, sent up to ask why I did not come.", "She was just\nfastening my veil (the plain square of blond after all) to my hair with a\nbrooch; I hurried from under her hands as soon as I could.", "\"Stop!\"", "she cried in French.", "\"Look at yourself in the mirror: you have\nnot taken one peep.\"", "So I turned at the door: I saw a robed and veiled figure, so unlike my\nusual self that it seemed almost the image of a stranger.", "\"Jane!\"", "called\na voice, and I hastened down.", "I was received at the foot of the stairs\nby Mr. Rochester.", "\"Lingerer!\"", "I should fear even to cross his path now: my view\nmust be hateful to him.", "Oh, how blind had been my eyes!", "How weak my\nconduct!", "My eyes were covered and closed: eddying darkness seemed to swim round\nme, and reflection came in as black and confused a flow.", "Self-abandoned,\nrelaxed, and effortless, I seemed to have laid me down in the dried-up\nbed of a great river; I heard a flood loosened in remote mountains, and\nfelt the torrent come: to rise I had no will, to flee I had no strength.", "I lay faint, longing to be dead.", "One idea only still throbbed life-like\nwithin me--a remembrance of God: it begot an unuttered prayer: these\nwords went wandering up and down in my rayless mind, as something that\nshould be whispered, but no energy was found to express them--\n\n\"Be not far from me, for trouble is near: there is none to help.\"", "It was near: and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it--as I\nhad neither joined my hands, nor bent my knees, nor moved my lips--it\ncame: in full heavy swing the torrent poured over me.", "The whole\nconsciousness of my life lorn, my love lost, my hope quenched, my faith\ndeath-struck, swayed full and mighty above me in one sullen mass.", "That\nbitter hour cannot be described: in truth, \"the waters came into my soul;\nI sank in deep mire: I felt no standing; I came into deep waters; the\nfloods overflowed me.\"" ]

[ "\n\nSome time in the afternoon I raised my head, and looking round and seeing\nthe western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall, I asked,\n\"What am I to do?\"", "But the answer my mind gave--\"Leave Thornfield at once\"--was so prompt,\nso dread, that I stopped my ears.", "I said I could not bear such words\nnow.", "\"That I am not Edward Rochester's bride is the least part of my\nwoe,\" I alleged: \"that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams, and\nfound them all void and vain, is a horror I could bear and master; but\nthat I must leave him decidedly, instantly, entirely, is intolerable.", "I\ncannot do it.\"", "But, then, a voice within me averred that I could do it and foretold that\nI should do it.", "I wrestled with my own resolution: I wanted to be weak\nthat I might avoid the awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out\nfor me; and Conscience, turned tyrant, held Passion by the throat, told\nher tauntingly, she had yet but dipped her dainty foot in the slough, and\nswore that with that arm of iron he would thrust her down to unsounded\ndepths of agony.", "\"Let me be torn away,\" then I cried.", "\"Let another help me!\"", "\"No; you shall tear yourself away, none shall help you: you shall\nyourself pluck out your right eye; yourself cut off your right hand: your\nheart shall be the victim, and you the priest to transfix it.\"", "I rose up suddenly, terror-struck at the solitude which so ruthless a\njudge haunted,--at the silence which so awful a voice filled.", "My head\nswam as I stood erect.", "I perceived that I was sickening from excitement\nand inanition; neither meat nor drink had passed my lips that day, for I\nhad taken no breakfast.", "And, with a strange pang, I now reflected that,\nlong as I had been shut up here, no message had been sent to ask how I\nwas, or to invite me to come down: not even little Adele had tapped at\nthe door; not even Mrs. Fairfax had sought me.", "\"Friends always forget\nthose whom fortune forsakes,\" I murmured, as I undrew the bolt and passed\nout.", "I stumbled over an obstacle: my head was still dizzy, my sight was\ndim, and my limbs were feeble.", "I could not soon recover myself.", "I fell,\nbut not on to the ground: an outstretched arm caught me.", "I looked up--I\nwas supported by Mr. Rochester, who sat in a chair across my chamber\nthreshold.", "\"You come out at last,\" he said.", "\"Well, I have been waiting for you\nlong, and listening: yet not one movement have I heard, nor one sob: five\nminutes more of that death-like hush, and I should have forced the lock\nlike a burglar.", "So you shun me?--you shut yourself up and grieve alone!", "I would rather you had come and upbraided me with vehemence.", "You are\npassionate.", "I expected a scene of some kind.", "I was prepared for the hot\nrain of tears; only I wanted them to be shed on my breast: now a\nsenseless floor has received them, or your drenched handkerchief.", "But I\nerr: you have not wept at all!", "I see a white cheek and a faded eye, but\nno trace of tears.", "I suppose, then, your heart has been weeping blood?\"", "\"Well, Jane!", "not a word of reproach?", "Nothing bitter--nothing poignant?", "Nothing to cut a feeling or sting a passion?", "You sit quietly where I\nhave placed you, and regard me with a weary, passive look.\"", "\"Jane, I never meant to wound you thus.", "If the man who had but one\nlittle ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter, that ate of his bread\nand drank of his cup, and lay in his bosom, had by some mistake\nslaughtered it at the shambles, he would not have rued his bloody blunder\nmore than I now rue mine.", "Will you ever forgive me?\"", "Reader, I forgave him at the moment and on the spot.", "There was such deep\nremorse in his eye, such true pity in his tone, such manly energy in his\nmanner; and besides, there was such unchanged love in his whole look and\nmien--I forgave him all: yet not in words, not outwardly; only at my\nheart's core.", "\"You know I am a scoundrel, Jane?\"", "ere long he inquired\nwistfully--wondering, I suppose, at my continued silence and tameness,\nthe result rather of weakness than of will.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Then tell me so roundly and sharply--don't spare me.\"", "\"I cannot: I am tired and sick.", "I want some water.\"", "He heaved a sort of\nshuddering sigh, and taking me in his arms, carried me downstairs.", "At\nfirst I did not know to what room he had borne me; all was cloudy to my\nglazed sight: presently I felt the reviving warmth of a fire; for, summer\nas it was, I had become icy cold in my chamber.", "He put wine to my lips;\nI tasted it and revived; then I ate something he offered me, and was soon\nmyself.", "I was in the library--sitting in his chair--he was quite near.", "\"If I could go out of life now, without too sharp a pang, it would be\nwell for me,\" I thought; \"then I should not have to make the effort of\ncracking my heart-strings in rending them from among Mr. Rochester's.", "I\nmust leave him, it appears.", "I do not want to leave him--I cannot leave\nhim.\"", "\"How are you now, Jane?\"", "\"Much better, sir; I shall be well soon.\"", "\"Taste the wine again, Jane.\"", "I obeyed him; then he put the glass on the table, stood before me, and\nlooked at me attentively.", "Suddenly he turned away, with an inarticulate\nexclamation, full of passionate emotion of some kind; he walked fast\nthrough the room and came back; he stooped towards me as if to kiss me;\nbut I remembered caresses were now forbidden.", "I turned my face away and\nput his aside.", "\"What!--How is this?\"", "he exclaimed hastily.", "\"Oh, I know!", "you won't kiss\nthe husband of Bertha Mason?", "You consider my arms filled and my embraces\nappropriated?\"", "\"At any rate, there is neither room nor claim for me, sir.\"", "\"Why, Jane?", "I will spare you the trouble of much talking; I will answer\nfor you--Because I have a wife already, you would reply.--I guess\nrightly?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"If you think so, you must have a strange opinion of me; you must regard\nme as a plotting profligate--a base and low rake who has been simulating\ndisinterested love in order to draw you into a snare deliberately laid,\nand strip you of honour and rob you of self-respect.", "What do you say to\nthat?", "I see you can say nothing in the first place, you are faint still,\nand have enough to do to draw your breath; in the second place, you\ncannot yet accustom yourself to accuse and revile me, and besides, the\nflood-gates of tears are opened, and they would rush out if you spoke\nmuch; and you have no desire to expostulate, to upbraid, to make a scene:\nyou are thinking how _to act_--_talking_ you consider is of no use.", "I\nknow you--I am on my guard.\"", "\"Sir, I do not wish to act against you,\" I said; and my unsteady voice\nwarned me to curtail my sentence.", "\"Not in your sense of the word, but in mine you are scheming to destroy\nme.", "You have as good as said that I am a married man--as a married man\nyou will shun me, keep out of my way: just now you have refused to kiss\nme.", "You intend to make yourself a complete stranger to me: to live under\nthis roof only as Adele's governess; if ever I say a friendly word to\nyou, if ever a friendly feeling inclines you again to me, you will\nsay,--'That man had nearly made me his mistress: I must be ice and rock\nto him;' and ice and rock you will accordingly become.\"", "I cleared and steadied my voice to reply: \"All is changed about me, sir;\nI must change too--there is no doubt of that; and to avoid fluctuations\nof feeling, and continual combats with recollections and associations,\nthere is only one way--Adele must have a new governess, sir.\"", "\"Oh, Adele will go to school--I have settled that already; nor do I mean\nto torment you with the hideous associations and recollections of\nThornfield Hall--this accursed place--this tent of Achan--this insolent\nvault, offering the ghastliness of living death to the light of the open\nsky--this narrow stone hell, with its one real fiend, worse than a legion\nof such as we imagine.", "Jane, you shall not stay here, nor will I. I was\nwrong ever to bring you to Thornfield Hall, knowing as I did how it was\nhaunted.", "I charged them to conceal from you, before I ever saw you, all\nknowledge of the curse of the place; merely because I feared Adele never\nwould have a governess to stay if she knew with what inmate she was\nhoused, and my plans would not permit me to remove the maniac\nelsewhere--though I possess an old house, Ferndean Manor, even more\nretired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safely\nenough, had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation, in\nthe heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement.", "Probably those damp walls would soon have eased me of her charge: but to\neach villain his own vice; and mine is not a tendency to indirect\nassassination, even of what I most hate.", "\"Concealing the mad-woman's neighbourhood from you, however, was\nsomething like covering a child with a cloak and laying it down near a\nupas-tree: that demon's vicinage is poisoned, and always was.", "But I'll\nshut up Thornfield Hall: I'll nail up the front door and board the lower\nwindows: I'll give Mrs. Poole two hundred a year to live here with _my\nwife_, as you term that fearful hag: Grace will do much for money, and\nshe shall have her son, the keeper at Grimsby Retreat, to bear her\ncompany and be at hand to give her aid in the paroxysms, when _my wife_\nis prompted by her familiar to burn people in their beds at night, to\nstab them, to bite their flesh from their bones, and so on--\"\n\n\"Sir,\" I interrupted him, \"you are inexorable for that unfortunate lady:\nyou speak of her with hate--with vindictive antipathy.", "It is cruel--she\ncannot help being mad.\"", "\"Jane, my little darling (so I will call you, for so you are), you don't\nknow what you are talking about; you misjudge me again: it is not because\nshe is mad I hate her.", "If you were mad, do you think I should hate you?\"", "\"I do indeed, sir.\"", "\"Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about\nthe sort of love of which I am capable.", "Every atom of your flesh is as\ndear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear.", "Your\nmind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be my treasure\nstill: if you raved, my arms should confine you, and not a strait\nwaistcoat--your grasp, even in fury, would have a charm for me: if you\nflew at me as wildly as that woman did this morning, I should receive you\nin an embrace, at least as fond as it would be restrictive.", "I should not\nshrink from you with disgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments you\nshould have no watcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you\nwith untiring tenderness, though you gave me no smile in return; and\nnever weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray of\nrecognition for me.--But why do I follow that train of ideas?", "I was\ntalking of removing you from Thornfield.", "All, you know, is prepared for\nprompt departure: to-morrow you shall go.", "I only ask you to endure one\nmore night under this roof, Jane; and then, farewell to its miseries and\nterrors for ever!", "I have a place to repair to, which will be a secure\nsanctuary from hateful reminiscences, from unwelcome intrusion--even from\nfalsehood and slander.\"", "\"And take Adele with you, sir,\" I interrupted; \"she will be a companion\nfor you.\"", "\"What do you mean, Jane?", "I told you I would send Adele to school; and\nwhat do I want with a child for a companion, and not my own child,--a\nFrench dancer's bastard?", "Why do you importune me about her!", "I say, why\ndo you assign Adele to me for a companion?\"", "\"You spoke of a retirement, sir; and retirement and solitude are dull:\ntoo dull for you.\"", "\"Solitude!", "solitude!\"", "he reiterated with irritation.", "\"I see I must come\nto an explanation.", "I don't know what sphynx-like expression is forming\nin your countenance.", "You are to share my solitude.", "Do you understand?\"", "I shook my head: it required a degree of courage, excited as he was\nbecoming, even to risk that mute sign of dissent.", "He had been walking\nfast about the room, and he stopped, as if suddenly rooted to one spot.", "He looked at me long and hard: I turned my eyes from him, fixed them on\nthe fire, and tried to assume and maintain a quiet, collected aspect.", "\"Now for the hitch in Jane's character,\" he said at last, speaking more\ncalmly than from his look I had expected him to speak.", "\"The reel of silk\nhas run smoothly enough so far; but I always knew there would come a knot\nand a puzzle: here it is.", "Now for vexation, and exasperation, and\nendless trouble!", "By God!", "I long to exert a fraction of Samson's\nstrength, and break the entanglement like tow!\"", "He recommenced his walk, but soon again stopped, and this time just\nbefore me.", "\"Jane!", "will you hear reason?\"", "(he stooped and approached his lips to my\near); \"because, if you won't, I'll try violence.\"", "His voice was hoarse;\nhis look that of a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond\nand plunge headlong into wild license.", "I saw that in another moment, and\nwith one impetus of frenzy more, I should be able to do nothing with him.", "The present--the passing second of time--was all I had in which to\ncontrol and restrain him--a movement of repulsion, flight, fear would\nhave sealed my doom,--and his.", "But I was not afraid: not in the least.", "I\nfelt an inward power; a sense of influence, which supported me.", "The\ncrisis was perilous; but not without its charm: such as the Indian,\nperhaps, feels when he slips over the rapid in his canoe.", "I took hold of\nhis clenched hand, loosened the contorted fingers, and said to him,\nsoothingly--\n\n\"Sit down; I'll talk to you as long as you like, and hear all you have to\nsay, whether reasonable or unreasonable.\"", "He sat down: but he did not get leave to speak directly.", "I had been\nstruggling with tears for some time: I had taken great pains to repress\nthem, because I knew he would not like to see me weep.", "Now, however, I\nconsidered it well to let them flow as freely and as long as they liked.", "If the flood annoyed him, so much the better.", "So I gave way and cried\nheartily.", "Soon I heard him earnestly entreating me to be composed.", "I said I could\nnot while he was in such a passion.", "\"But I am not angry, Jane: I only love you too well; and you had steeled\nyour little pale face with such a resolute, frozen look, I could not\nendure it.", "Hush, now, and wipe your eyes.\"", "His softened voice announced that he was subdued; so I, in my turn,\nbecame calm.", "Now he made an effort to rest his head on my shoulder, but\nI would not permit it.", "Then he would draw me to him: no.", "\"Jane!", "Jane!\"", "he said, in such an accent of bitter sadness it thrilled\nalong every nerve I had; \"you don't love me, then?", "It was only my\nstation, and the rank of my wife, that you valued?", "Now that you think me\ndisqualified to become your husband, you recoil from my touch as if I\nwere some toad or ape.\"", "These words cut me: yet what could I do or I say?", "I ought probably to\nhave done or said nothing; but I was so tortured by a sense of remorse at\nthus hurting his feelings, I could not control the wish to drop balm\nwhere I had wounded.", "\"I _do_ love you,\" I said, \"more than ever: but I must not show or\nindulge the feeling: and this is the last time I must express it.\"", "\"The last time, Jane!", "What!", "do you think you can live with me, and see\nme daily, and yet, if you still love me, be always cold and distant?\"", "\"No, sir; that I am certain I could not; and therefore I see there is but\none way: but you will be furious if I mention it.\"", "\"Oh, mention it!", "If I storm, you have the art of weeping.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I must leave you.\"", "\"For how long, Jane?", "For a few minutes, while you smooth your hair--which\nis somewhat dishevelled; and bathe your face--which looks feverish?\"", "\"I must leave Adele and Thornfield.", "I must part with you for my whole\nlife: I must begin a new existence among strange faces and strange\nscenes.\"", "\"Of course: I told you you should.", "I pass over the madness about parting\nfrom me.", "You mean you must become a part of me.", "As to the new\nexistence, it is all right: you shall yet be my wife: I am not married.", "You shall be Mrs. Rochester--both virtually and nominally.", "I shall keep\nonly to you so long as you and I live.", "You shall go to a place I have in\nthe south of France: a whitewashed villa on the shores of the\nMediterranean.", "There you shall live a happy, and guarded, and most\ninnocent life.", "Never fear that I wish to lure you into error--to make\nyou my mistress.", "Why did you shake your head?", "Jane, you must be\nreasonable, or in truth I shall again become frantic.\"", "His voice and hand quivered: his large nostrils dilated; his eye blazed:\nstill I dared to speak.", "\"Sir, your wife is living: that is a fact acknowledged this morning by\nyourself.", "If I lived with you as you desire, I should then be your\nmistress: to say otherwise is sophistical--is false.\"", "\"Jane, I am not a gentle-tempered man--you forget that: I am not long-\nenduring; I am not cool and dispassionate.", "Out of pity to me and\nyourself, put your finger on my pulse, feel how it throbs, and--beware!\"", "He bared his wrist, and offered it to me: the blood was forsaking his\ncheek and lips, they were growing livid; I was distressed on all hands.", "To agitate him thus deeply, by a resistance he so abhorred, was cruel: to\nyield was out of the question.", "I did what human beings do instinctively\nwhen they are driven to utter extremity--looked for aid to one higher\nthan man: the words \"God help me!\"", "burst involuntarily from my lips.", "\"I am a fool!\"", "cried Mr. Rochester suddenly.", "\"I keep telling her I am\nnot married, and do not explain to her why.", "I forget she knows nothing\nof the character of that woman, or of the circumstances attending my\ninfernal union with her.", "Oh, I am certain Jane will agree with me in\nopinion, when she knows all that I know!", "Just put your hand in mine,\nJanet--that I may have the evidence of touch as well as sight, to prove\nyou are near me--and I will in a few words show you the real state of the\ncase.", "Can you listen to me?\"", "\"Yes, sir; for hours if you will.\"", "\"I ask only minutes.", "Jane, did you ever hear or know that I was not the\neldest son of my house: that I had once a brother older than I?\"", "\"I remember Mrs. Fairfax told me so once.\"", "\"And did you ever hear that my father was an avaricious, grasping man?\"", "\"I have understood something to that effect.\"", "\"Well, Jane, being so, it was his resolution to keep the property\ntogether; he could not bear the idea of dividing his estate and leaving\nme a fair portion: all, he resolved, should go to my brother, Rowland.", "Yet as little could he endure that a son of his should be a poor man.", "I\nmust be provided for by a wealthy marriage.", "He sought me a partner\nbetimes.", "Mr. Mason, a West India planter and merchant, was his old\nacquaintance.", "He was certain his possessions were real and vast: he made\ninquiries.", "Mr. Mason, he found, had a son and daughter; and he learned\nfrom him that he could and would give the latter a fortune of thirty\nthousand pounds: that sufficed.", "When I left college, I was sent out to\nJamaica, to espouse a bride already courted for me.", "My father said\nnothing about her money; but he told me Miss Mason was the boast of\nSpanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie.", "I found her a fine\nwoman, in the style of Blanche Ingram: tall, dark, and majestic.", "Her\nfamily wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she.", "They showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed.", "I seldom saw her\nalone, and had very little private conversation with her.", "She flattered\nme, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and\naccomplishments.", "All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy\nme.", "I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being\nignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her.", "There is no\nfolly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience,\nthe rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its\ncommission.", "Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me; she\nallured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was.", "Oh,\nI have no respect for myself when I think of that act!--an agony of\ninward contempt masters me.", "I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not\neven know her.", "I was not sure of the existence of one virtue in her\nnature: I had marked neither modesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor\nrefinement in her mind or manners--and, I married her:--gross,\ngrovelling, mole-eyed blockhead that I was!", "With less sin I might\nhave--But let me remember to whom I am speaking.\"", "\"My bride's mother I had never seen: I understood she was dead.", "The\nhoneymoon over, I learned my mistake; she was only mad, and shut up in a\nlunatic asylum.", "There was a younger brother, too--a complete dumb idiot.", "The elder one, whom you have seen (and whom I cannot hate, whilst I abhor\nall his kindred, because he has some grains of affection in his feeble\nmind, shown in the continued interest he takes in his wretched sister,\nand also in a dog-like attachment he once bore me), will probably be in\nthe same state one day.", "My father and my brother Rowland knew all this;\nbut they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds, and joined in the\nplot against me.\"", "\"These were vile discoveries; but except for the treachery of\nconcealment, I should have made them no subject of reproach to my wife,\neven when I found her nature wholly alien to mine, her tastes obnoxious\nto me, her cast of mind common, low, narrow, and singularly incapable of\nbeing led to anything higher, expanded to anything larger--when I found\nthat I could not pass a single evening, nor even a single hour of the day\nwith her in comfort; that kindly conversation could not be sustained\nbetween us, because whatever topic I started, immediately received from\nher a turn at once coarse and trite, perverse and imbecile--when I\nperceived that I should never have a quiet or settled household, because\nno servant would bear the continued outbreaks of her violent and\nunreasonable temper, or the vexations of her absurd, contradictory,\nexacting orders--even then I restrained myself: I eschewed upbraiding, I\ncurtailed remonstrance; I tried to devour my repentance and disgust in\nsecret; I repressed the deep antipathy I felt.", "\"Jane, I will not trouble you with abominable details: some strong words\nshall express what I have to say.", "I lived with that woman upstairs four\nyears, and before that time she had tried me indeed: her character\nripened and developed with frightful rapidity; her vices sprang up fast\nand rank: they were so strong, only cruelty could check them, and I would\nnot use cruelty.", "What a pigmy intellect she had, and what giant\npropensities!", "How fearful were the curses those propensities entailed on\nme!", "Bertha Mason, the true daughter of an infamous mother, dragged me\nthrough all the hideous and degrading agonies which must attend a man\nbound to a wife at once intemperate and unchaste.", "\"My brother in the interval was dead, and at the end of the four years my\nfather died too.", "I was rich enough now--yet poor to hideous indigence: a\nnature the most gross, impure, depraved I ever saw, was associated with\nmine, and called by the law and by society a part of me.", "And I could not\nrid myself of it by any legal proceedings: for the doctors now discovered\nthat _my wife_ was mad--her excesses had prematurely developed the germs\nof insanity.", "Jane, you don't like my narrative; you look almost\nsick--shall I defer the rest to another day?\"", "\"No, sir, finish it now; I pity you--I do earnestly pity you.\"", "\"Pity, Jane, from some people is a noxious and insulting sort of tribute,\nwhich one is justified in hurling back in the teeth of those who offer\nit; but that is the sort of pity native to callous, selfish hearts; it is\na hybrid, egotistical pain at hearing of woes, crossed with ignorant\ncontempt for those who have endured them.", "But that is not your pity,\nJane; it is not the feeling of which your whole face is full at this\nmoment--with which your eyes are now almost overflowing--with which your\nheart is heaving--with which your hand is trembling in mine.", "Your pity,\nmy darling, is the suffering mother of love: its anguish is the very\nnatal pang of the divine passion.", "I accept it, Jane; let the daughter\nhave free advent--my arms wait to receive her.\"", "\"Now, sir, proceed; what did you do when you found she was mad?\"", "\"Jane, I approached the verge of despair; a remnant of self-respect was\nall that intervened between me and the gulf.", "In the eyes of the world, I\nwas doubtless covered with grimy dishonour; but I resolved to be clean in\nmy own sight--and to the last I repudiated the contamination of her\ncrimes, and wrenched myself from connection with her mental defects.", "Still, society associated my name and person with hers; I yet saw her and\nheard her daily: something of her breath (faugh!)", "mixed with the air I\nbreathed; and besides, I remembered I had once been her husband--that\nrecollection was then, and is now, inexpressibly odious to me; moreover,\nI knew that while she lived I could never be the husband of another and\nbetter wife; and, though five years my senior (her family and her father\nhad lied to me even in the particular of her age), she was likely to live\nas long as I, being as robust in frame as she was infirm in mind.", "Thus,\nat the age of twenty-six, I was hopeless.", "\"One night I had been awakened by her yells--(since the medical men had\npronounced her mad, she had, of course, been shut up)--it was a fiery\nWest Indian night; one of the description that frequently precede the\nhurricanes of those climates.", "Being unable to sleep in bed, I got up and\nopened the window.", "The air was like sulphur-steams--I could find no\nrefreshment anywhere.", "Mosquitoes came buzzing in and hummed sullenly\nround the room; the sea, which I could hear from thence, rumbled dull\nlike an earthquake--black clouds were casting up over it; the moon was\nsetting in the waves, broad and red, like a hot cannon-ball--she threw\nher last bloody glance over a world quivering with the ferment of\ntempest.", "I was physically influenced by the atmosphere and scene, and my\nears were filled with the curses the maniac still shrieked out; wherein\nshe momentarily mingled my name with such a tone of demon-hate, with such\nlanguage!--no professed harlot ever had a fouler vocabulary than she:\nthough two rooms off, I heard every word--the thin partitions of the West\nIndia house opposing but slight obstruction to her wolfish cries.", "\"'This life,' said I at last, 'is hell: this is the air--those are the\nsounds of the bottomless pit!", "I have a right to deliver myself from it\nif I can.", "The sufferings of this mortal state will leave me with the\nheavy flesh that now cumbers my soul.", "Of the fanatic's burning eternity\nI have no fear: there is not a future state worse than this present\none--let me break away, and go home to God!'", "\"I said this whilst I knelt down at, and unlocked a trunk which contained\na brace of loaded pistols: I mean to shoot myself.", "I only entertained\nthe intention for a moment; for, not being insane, the crisis of\nexquisite and unalloyed despair, which had originated the wish and design\nof self-destruction, was past in a second.", "\"A wind fresh from Europe blew over the ocean and rushed through the open\ncasement: the storm broke, streamed, thundered, blazed, and the air grew\npure.", "I then framed and fixed a resolution.", "While I walked under the\ndripping orange-trees of my wet garden, and amongst its drenched\npomegranates and pine-apples, and while the refulgent dawn of the tropics\nkindled round me--I reasoned thus, Jane--and now listen; for it was true\nWisdom that consoled me in that hour, and showed me the right path to\nfollow.", "\"The sweet wind from Europe was still whispering in the refreshed leaves,\nand the Atlantic was thundering in glorious liberty; my heart, dried up\nand scorched for a long time, swelled to the tone, and filled with living\nblood--my being longed for renewal--my soul thirsted for a pure draught.", "I saw hope revive--and felt regeneration possible.", "From a flowery arch\nat the bottom of my garden I gazed over the sea--bluer than the sky: the\nold world was beyond; clear prospects opened thus:--\n\n\"'Go,' said Hope, 'and live again in Europe: there it is not known what a\nsullied name you bear, nor what a filthy burden is bound to you.", "You may\ntake the maniac with you to England; confine her with due attendance and\nprecautions at Thornfield: then travel yourself to what clime you will,\nand form what new tie you like.", "That woman, who has so abused your long-\nsuffering, so sullied your name, so outraged your honour, so blighted\nyour youth, is not your wife, nor are you her husband.", "See that she is\ncared for as her condition demands, and you have done all that God and\nhumanity require of you.", "Let her identity, her connection with yourself,\nbe buried in oblivion: you are bound to impart them to no living being.", "Place her in safety and comfort: shelter her degradation with secrecy,\nand leave her.'", "\"I acted precisely on this suggestion.", "My father and brother had not\nmade my marriage known to their acquaintance; because, in the very first\nletter I wrote to apprise them of the union--having already begun to\nexperience extreme disgust of its consequences, and, from the family\ncharacter and constitution, seeing a hideous future opening to me--I\nadded an urgent charge to keep it secret: and very soon the infamous\nconduct of the wife my father had selected for me was such as to make him\nblush to own her as his daughter-in-law.", "Far from desiring to publish\nthe connection, he became as anxious to conceal it as myself.", "\"To England, then, I conveyed her; a fearful voyage I had with such a\nmonster in the vessel.", "Glad was I when I at last got her to Thornfield,\nand saw her safely lodged in that third-storey room, of whose secret\ninner cabinet she has now for ten years made a wild beast's den--a\ngoblin's cell.", "I had some trouble in finding an attendant for her, as it\nwas necessary to select one on whose fidelity dependence could be placed;\nfor her ravings would inevitably betray my secret: besides, she had lucid\nintervals of days--sometimes weeks--which she filled up with abuse of me.", "At last I hired Grace Poole from the Grimbsy Retreat.", "She and the\nsurgeon, Carter (who dressed Mason's wounds that night he was stabbed and\nworried), are the only two I have ever admitted to my confidence.", "Mrs.\nFairfax may indeed have suspected something, but she could have gained no\nprecise knowledge as to facts.", "Grace has, on the whole, proved a good\nkeeper; though, owing partly to a fault of her own, of which it appears\nnothing can cure her, and which is incident to her harassing profession,\nher vigilance has been more than once lulled and baffled.", "The lunatic is\nboth cunning and malignant; she has never failed to take advantage of her\nguardian's temporary lapses; once to secrete the knife with which she\nstabbed her brother, and twice to possess herself of the key of her cell,\nand issue therefrom in the night-time.", "On the first of these occasions,\nshe perpetrated the attempt to burn me in my bed; on the second, she paid\nthat ghastly visit to you.", "I thank Providence, who watched over you,\nthat she then spent her fury on your wedding apparel, which perhaps\nbrought back vague reminiscences of her own bridal days: but on what\nmight have happened, I cannot endure to reflect.", "When I think of the\nthing which flew at my throat this morning, hanging its black and scarlet\nvisage over the nest of my dove, my blood curdles--\"\n\n\"And what, sir,\" I asked, while he paused, \"did you do when you had\nsettled her here?", "Where did you go?\"", "\"What did I do, Jane?", "I transformed myself into a will-o'-the-wisp.", "Where did I go?", "I pursued wanderings as wild as those of the\nMarch-spirit.", "I sought the Continent, and went devious through all its\nlands.", "My fixed desire was to seek and find a good and intelligent\nwoman, whom I could love: a contrast to the fury I left at Thornfield--\"\n\n\"But you could not marry, sir.\"", "\"I had determined and was convinced that I could and ought.", "It was not\nmy original intention to deceive, as I have deceived you.", "I meant to\ntell my tale plainly, and make my proposals openly: and it appeared to me\nso absolutely rational that I should be considered free to love and be\nloved, I never doubted some woman might be found willing and able to\nunderstand my case and accept me, in spite of the curse with which I was\nburdened.\"", "\"Well, sir?\"", "\"When you are inquisitive, Jane, you always make me smile.", "You open your\neyes like an eager bird, and make every now and then a restless movement,\nas if answers in speech did not flow fast enough for you, and you wanted\nto read the tablet of one's heart.", "But before I go on, tell me what you\nmean by your 'Well, sir?'", "It is a small phrase very frequent with you;\nand which many a time has drawn me on and on through interminable talk: I\ndon't very well know why.\"", "\"I mean,--What next?", "How did you proceed?", "What came of such an event?\"", "\"Precisely!", "and what do you wish to know now?\"", "\"Whether you found any one you liked: whether you asked her to marry you;\nand what she said.\"", "\"I can tell you whether I found any one I liked, and whether I asked her\nto marry me: but what she said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate.", "For ten long years I roved about, living first in one capital, then\nanother: sometimes in St. Petersburg; oftener in Paris; occasionally in\nRome, Naples, and Florence.", "Provided with plenty of money and the\npassport of an old name, I could choose my own society: no circles were\nclosed against me.", "I sought my ideal of a woman amongst English ladies,\nFrench countesses, Italian signoras, and German grafinnen.", "I could not\nfind her.", "Sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I thought I caught a glance,\nheard a tone, beheld a form, which announced the realisation of my dream:\nbut I was presently undeserved.", "You are not to suppose that I desired\nperfection, either of mind or person.", "I longed only for what suited\nme--for the antipodes of the Creole: and I longed vainly.", "Amongst them\nall I found not one whom, had I been ever so free, I--warned as I was of\nthe risks, the horrors, the loathings of incongruous unions--would have\nasked to marry me.", "Disappointment made me reckless.", "I tried\ndissipation--never debauchery: that I hated, and hate.", "That was my\nIndian Messalina's attribute: rooted disgust at it and her restrained me\nmuch, even in pleasure.", "Any enjoyment that bordered on riot seemed to\napproach me to her and her vices, and I eschewed it.", "\"Yet I could not live alone; so I tried the companionship of mistresses.", "The first I chose was Celine Varens--another of those steps which make a\nman spurn himself when he recalls them.", "You already know what she was,\nand how my liaison with her terminated.", "She had two successors: an\nItalian, Giacinta, and a German, Clara; both considered singularly\nhandsome.", "What was their beauty to me in a few weeks?", "Giacinta was\nunprincipled and violent: I tired of her in three months.", "Clara was\nhonest and quiet; but heavy, mindless, and unimpressible: not one whit to\nmy taste.", "I was glad to give her a sufficient sum to set her up in a\ngood line of business, and so get decently rid of her.", "But, Jane, I see\nby your face you are not forming a very favourable opinion of me just\nnow.", "You think me an unfeeling, loose-principled rake: don't you?\"", "\"I don't like you so well as I have done sometimes, indeed, sir.", "Did it\nnot seem to you in the least wrong to live in that way, first with one\nmistress and then another?", "You talk of it as a mere matter of course.\"", "\"It was with me; and I did not like it.", "It was a grovelling fashion of\nexistence: I should never like to return to it.", "Hiring a mistress is the\nnext worse thing to buying a slave: both are often by nature, and always\nby position, inferior: and to live familiarly with inferiors is\ndegrading.", "I now hate the recollection of the time I passed with Celine,\nGiacinta, and Clara.\"", "I felt the truth of these words; and I drew from them the certain\ninference, that if I were so far to forget myself and all the teaching\nthat had ever been instilled into me, as--under any pretext--with any\njustification--through any temptation--to become the successor of these\npoor girls, he would one day regard me with the same feeling which now in\nhis mind desecrated their memory.", "I did not give utterance to this\nconviction: it was enough to feel it.", "I impressed it on my heart, that\nit might remain there to serve me as aid in the time of trial.", "\"Now, Jane, why don't you say 'Well, sir?'", "I have not done.", "You are\nlooking grave.", "You disapprove of me still, I see.", "But let me come to\nthe point.", "Last January, rid of all mistresses--in a harsh, bitter frame\nof mind, the result of a useless, roving, lonely life--corroded with\ndisappointment, sourly disposed against all men, and especially against\nall womankind (for I began to regard the notion of an intellectual,\nfaithful, loving woman as a mere dream), recalled by business, I came\nback to England.", "\"On a frosty winter afternoon, I rode in sight of Thornfield Hall.", "Abhorred spot!", "I expected no peace--no pleasure there.", "On a stile in\nHay Lane I saw a quiet little figure sitting by itself.", "I passed it as\nnegligently as I did the pollard willow opposite to it: I had no\npresentiment of what it would be to me; no inward warning that the\narbitress of my life--my genius for good or evil--waited there in humble\nguise.", "I did not know it, even when, on the occasion of Mesrour's\naccident, it came up and gravely offered me help.", "Childish and slender\ncreature!", "It seemed as if a linnet had hopped to my foot and proposed to\nbear me on its tiny wing.", "I was surly; but the thing would not go: it\nstood by me with strange perseverance, and looked and spoke with a sort\nof authority.", "I must be aided, and by that hand: and aided I was.", "\"When once I had pressed the frail shoulder, something new--a fresh sap\nand sense--stole into my frame.", "It was well I had learnt that this elf\nmust return to me--that it belonged to my house down below--or I could\nnot have felt it pass away from under my hand, and seen it vanish behind\nthe dim hedge, without singular regret.", "I heard you come home that\nnight, Jane, though probably you were not aware that I thought of you or\nwatched for you.", "The next day I observed you--myself unseen--for half-an-\nhour, while you played with Adele in the gallery.", "It was a snowy day, I\nrecollect, and you could not go out of doors.", "I was in my room; the door\nwas ajar: I could both listen and watch.", "Adele claimed your outward\nattention for a while; yet I fancied your thoughts were elsewhere: but\nyou were very patient with her, my little Jane; you talked to her and\namused her a long time.", "When at last she left you, you lapsed at once\ninto deep reverie: you betook yourself slowly to pace the gallery.", "Now\nand then, in passing a casement, you glanced out at the thick-falling\nsnow; you listened to the sobbing wind, and again you paced gently on and\ndreamed.", "I think those day visions were not dark: there was a\npleasurable illumination in your eye occasionally, a soft excitement in\nyour aspect, which told of no bitter, bilious, hypochondriac brooding:\nyour look revealed rather the sweet musings of youth when its spirit\nfollows on willing wings the flight of Hope up and on to an ideal heaven.", "The voice of Mrs. Fairfax, speaking to a servant in the hall, wakened\nyou: and how curiously you smiled to and at yourself, Janet!", "There was\nmuch sense in your smile: it was very shrewd, and seemed to make light of\nyour own abstraction.", "It seemed to say--'My fine visions are all very\nwell, but I must not forget they are absolutely unreal.", "I have a rosy\nsky and a green flowery Eden in my brain; but without, I am perfectly\naware, lies at my feet a rough tract to travel, and around me gather\nblack tempests to encounter.'", "You ran downstairs and demanded of Mrs.\nFairfax some occupation: the weekly house accounts to make up, or\nsomething of that sort, I think it was.", "I was vexed with you for getting\nout of my sight.", "\"Impatiently I waited for evening, when I might summon you to my\npresence.", "An unusual--to me--a perfectly new character I suspected was\nyours: I desired to search it deeper and know it better.", "You entered the\nroom with a look and air at once shy and independent: you were quaintly\ndressed--much as you are now.", "I made you talk: ere long I found you full\nof strange contrasts.", "Your garb and manner were restricted by rule; your\nair was often diffident, and altogether that of one refined by nature,\nbut absolutely unused to society, and a good deal afraid of making\nherself disadvantageously conspicuous by some solecism or blunder; yet\nwhen addressed, you lifted a keen, a daring, and a glowing eye to your\ninterlocutor's face: there was penetration and power in each glance you\ngave; when plied by close questions, you found ready and round answers.", "Very soon you seemed to get used to me: I believe you felt the existence\nof sympathy between you and your grim and cross master, Jane; for it was\nastonishing to see how quickly a certain pleasant ease tranquillised your\nmanner: snarl as I would, you showed no surprise, fear, annoyance, or\ndispleasure at my moroseness; you watched me, and now and then smiled at\nme with a simple yet sagacious grace I cannot describe.", "I was at once\ncontent and stimulated with what I saw: I liked what I had seen, and\nwished to see more.", "Yet, for a long time, I treated you distantly, and\nsought your company rarely.", "I was an intellectual epicure, and wished to\nprolong the gratification of making this novel and piquant acquaintance:\nbesides, I was for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if I\nhandled the flower freely its bloom would fade--the sweet charm of\nfreshness would leave it.", "I did not then know that it was no transitory\nblossom, but rather the radiant resemblance of one, cut in an\nindestructible gem.", "Moreover, I wished to see whether you would seek me\nif I shunned you--but you did not; you kept in the schoolroom as still as\nyour own desk and easel; if by chance I met you, you passed me as soon,\nand with as little token of recognition, as was consistent with respect.", "Your habitual expression in those days, Jane, was a thoughtful look; not\ndespondent, for you were not sickly; but not buoyant, for you had little\nhope, and no actual pleasure.", "I wondered what you thought of me, or if\nyou ever thought of me, and resolved to find this out.", "\"I resumed my notice of you.", "There was something glad in your glance,\nand genial in your manner, when you conversed: I saw you had a social\nheart; it was the silent schoolroom--it was the tedium of your life--that\nmade you mournful.", "I permitted myself the delight of being kind to you;\nkindness stirred emotion soon: your face became soft in expression, your\ntones gentle; I liked my name pronounced by your lips in a grateful happy\naccent.", "I used to enjoy a chance meeting with you, Jane, at this time:\nthere was a curious hesitation in your manner: you glanced at me with a\nslight trouble--a hovering doubt: you did not know what my caprice might\nbe--whether I was going to play the master and be stern, or the friend\nand be benignant.", "I was now too fond of you often to simulate the first\nwhim; and, when I stretched my hand out cordially, such bloom and light\nand bliss rose to your young, wistful features, I had much ado often to\navoid straining you then and there to my heart.\"", "\"Don't talk any more of those days, sir,\" I interrupted, furtively\ndashing away some tears from my eyes; his language was torture to me; for\nI knew what I must do--and do soon--and all these reminiscences, and\nthese revelations of his feelings only made my work more difficult.", "\"No, Jane,\" he returned: \"what necessity is there to dwell on the Past,\nwhen the Present is so much surer--the Future so much brighter?\"", "I shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion.", "\"You see now how the case stands--do you not?\"", "he continued.", "\"After a\nyouth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary\nsolitude, I have for the first time found what I can truly love--I have\nfound you.", "You are my sympathy--my better self--my good angel.", "I am\nbound to you with a strong attachment.", "I think you good, gifted, lovely:\na fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you,\ndraws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you,\nand, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.", "\"It was because I felt and knew this, that I resolved to marry you.", "To\ntell me that I had already a wife is empty mockery: you know now that I\nhad but a hideous demon.", "I was wrong to attempt to deceive you; but I\nfeared a stubbornness that exists in your character.", "I feared early\ninstilled prejudice: I wanted to have you safe before hazarding\nconfidences.", "This was cowardly: I should have appealed to your nobleness\nand magnanimity at first, as I do now--opened to you plainly my life of\nagony--described to you my hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier\nexistence--shown to you, not my _resolution_ (that word is weak), but my\nresistless _bent_ to love faithfully and well, where I am faithfully and\nwell loved in return.", "Then I should have asked you to accept my pledge\nof fidelity and to give me yours.", "Jane--give it me now.\"", "A pause.", "\"Why are you silent, Jane?\"", "I was experiencing an ordeal: a hand of fiery iron grasped my vitals.", "Terrible moment: full of struggle, blackness, burning!", "Not a human being\nthat ever lived could wish to be loved better than I was loved; and him\nwho thus loved me I absolutely worshipped: and I must renounce love and\nidol.", "One drear word comprised my intolerable duty--\"Depart!\"", "\"Jane, you understand what I want of you?", "Just this promise--'I will be\nyours, Mr.", "Rochester.'\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I will _not_ be yours.\"", "Another long silence.", "\"Jane!\"", "recommenced he, with a gentleness that broke me down with grief,\nand turned me stone-cold with ominous terror--for this still voice was\nthe pant of a lion rising--\"Jane, do you mean to go one way in the world,\nand to let me go another?\"", "\"I do.\"", "\"Jane\" (bending towards and embracing me), \"do you mean it now?\"", "\"I do.\"", "\"And now?\"", "softly kissing my forehead and cheek.", "\"I do,\" extricating myself from restraint rapidly and completely.", "\"Oh, Jane, this is bitter!", "This--this is wicked.", "It would not be wicked\nto love me.\"", "\"It would to obey you.\"", "A wild look raised his brows--crossed his features: he rose; but he\nforebore yet.", "I laid my hand on the back of a chair for support: I\nshook, I feared--but I resolved.", "\"One instant, Jane.", "Give one glance to my horrible life when you are\ngone.", "All happiness will be torn away with you.", "What then is left?", "For\na wife I have but the maniac upstairs: as well might you refer me to some\ncorpse in yonder churchyard.", "What shall I do, Jane?", "Where turn for a\ncompanion and for some hope?\"", "\"Do as I do: trust in God and yourself.", "Believe in heaven.", "Hope to meet\nagain there.\"", "\"Then you will not yield?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Then you condemn me to live wretched and to die accursed?\"", "His voice\nrose.", "\"I advise you to live sinless, and I wish you to die tranquil.\"", "\"Then you snatch love and innocence from me?", "You fling me back on lust\nfor a passion--vice for an occupation?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I no more assign this fate to you than I grasp at it for\nmyself.", "We were born to strive and endure--you as well as I: do so.", "You\nwill forget me before I forget you.\"", "\"You make me a liar by such language: you sully my honour.", "I declared I\ncould not change: you tell me to my face I shall change soon.", "And what a\ndistortion in your judgment, what a perversity in your ideas, is proved\nby your conduct!", "Is it better to drive a fellow-creature to despair than\nto transgress a mere human law, no man being injured by the breach?", "for\nyou have neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend\nby living with me?\"", "This was true: and while he spoke my very conscience and reason turned\ntraitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him.", "They\nspoke almost as loud as Feeling: and that clamoured wildly.", "\"Oh,\ncomply!\"", "it said.", "\"Think of his misery; think of his danger--look at his\nstate when left alone; remember his headlong nature; consider the\nrecklessness following on despair--soothe him; save him; love him; tell\nhim you love him and will be his.", "Who in the world cares for _you_?", "or\nwho will be injured by what you do?\"", "Still indomitable was the reply--\"_I_ care for myself.", "The more\nsolitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will\nrespect myself.", "I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man.", "I\nwill hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not\nmad--as I am now.", "Laws and principles are not for the times when there\nis no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul\nrise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they\nshall be.", "If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would\nbe their worth?", "They have a worth--so I have always believed; and if I\ncannot believe it now, it is because I am insane--quite insane: with my\nveins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its\nthrobs.", "Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have\nat this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot.\"", "I did.", "Mr. Rochester, reading my countenance, saw I had done so.", "His\nfury was wrought to the highest: he must yield to it for a moment,\nwhatever followed; he crossed the floor and seized my arm and grasped my\nwaist.", "He seemed to devour me with his flaming glance: physically, I\nfelt, at the moment, powerless as stubble exposed to the draught and glow\nof a furnace: mentally, I still possessed my soul, and with it the\ncertainty of ultimate safety.", "The soul, fortunately, has an\ninterpreter--often an unconscious, but still a truthful interpreter--in\nthe eye.", "My eye rose to his; and while I looked in his fierce face I\ngave an involuntary sigh; his gripe was painful, and my over-taxed\nstrength almost exhausted.", "\"Never,\" said he, as he ground his teeth, \"never was anything at once so\nfrail and so indomitable.", "A mere reed she feels in my hand!\"", "(And he\nshook me with the force of his hold.)", "\"I could bend her with my finger\nand thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed\nher?", "Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking\nout of it, defying me, with more than courage--with a stern triumph.", "Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it--the savage, beautiful\ncreature!", "If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only\nlet the captive loose.", "Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate\nwould escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay\ndwelling-place.", "And it is you, spirit--with will and energy, and virtue\nand purity--that I want: not alone your brittle frame.", "Of yourself you\ncould come with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would:\nseized against your will, you will elude the grasp like an essence--you\nwill vanish ere I inhale your fragrance.", "Oh!", "come, Jane, come!\"", "As he said this, he released me from his clutch, and only looked at me.", "The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain: only an idiot,\nhowever, would have succumbed now.", "I had dared and baffled his fury; I\nmust elude his sorrow: I retired to the door.", "\"You are going, Jane?\"", "\"I am going, sir.\"", "\"You are leaving me?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"You will not come?", "You will not be my comforter, my rescuer?", "My deep\nlove, my wild woe, my frantic prayer, are all nothing to you?\"", "What unutterable pathos was in his voice!", "How hard it was to reiterate\nfirmly, \"I am going.\"", "\"Jane!\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester!\"", "\"Withdraw, then,--I consent; but remember, you leave me here in anguish.", "Go up to your own room; think over all I have said, and, Jane, cast a\nglance on my sufferings--think of me.\"", "He turned away; he threw himself on his face on the sofa.", "\"Oh, Jane!", "my\nhope--my love--my life!\"", "broke in anguish from his lips.", "Then came a\ndeep, strong sob.", "I had already gained the door; but, reader, I walked back--walked back as\ndeterminedly as I had retreated.", "I knelt down by him; I turned his face\nfrom the cushion to me; I kissed his cheek; I smoothed his hair with my\nhand.", "\"God bless you, my dear master!\"", "I said.", "\"God keep you from harm and\nwrong--direct you, solace you--reward you well for your past kindness to\nme.\"", "\"Little Jane's love would have been my best reward,\" he answered;\n\"without it, my heart is broken.", "But Jane will give me her love:\nyes--nobly, generously.\"", "Up the blood rushed to his face; forth flashed the fire from his eyes;\nerect he sprang; he held his arms out; but I evaded the embrace, and at\nonce quitted the room.", "\"Farewell!\"", "was the cry of my heart as I left him.", "Despair added,\n\"Farewell for ever!\"", "* * * * *\n\nThat night I never thought to sleep; but a slumber fell on me as soon as\nI lay down in bed.", "I was transported in thought to the scenes of\nchildhood: I dreamt I lay in the red-room at Gateshead; that the night\nwas dark, and my mind impressed with strange fears.", "The light that long\nago had struck me into syncope, recalled in this vision, seemed glidingly\nto mount the wall, and tremblingly to pause in the centre of the obscured\nceiling.", "I lifted up my head to look: the roof resolved to clouds, high\nand dim; the gleam was such as the moon imparts to vapours she is about\nto sever.", "I watched her come--watched with the strangest anticipation;\nas though some word of doom were to be written on her disk.", "She broke\nforth as never moon yet burst from cloud: a hand first penetrated the\nsable folds and waved them away; then, not a moon, but a white human form\nshone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthward.", "It gazed and\ngazed on me.", "It spoke to my spirit: immeasurably distant was the tone,\nyet so near, it whispered in my heart--\n\n\"My daughter, flee temptation.\"", "\"Mother, I will.\"", "So I answered after I had waked from the trance-like dream.", "It was yet\nnight, but July nights are short: soon after midnight, dawn comes.", "\"It\ncannot be too early to commence the task I have to fulfil,\" thought I. I\nrose: I was dressed; for I had taken off nothing but my shoes.", "I knew\nwhere to find in my drawers some linen, a locket, a ring.", "In seeking\nthese articles, I encountered the beads of a pearl necklace Mr. Rochester\nhad forced me to accept a few days ago.", "I left that; it was not mine: it\nwas the visionary bride's who had melted in air.", "The other articles I\nmade up in a parcel; my purse, containing twenty shillings (it was all I\nhad), I put in my pocket: I tied on my straw bonnet, pinned my shawl,\ntook the parcel and my slippers, which I would not put on yet, and stole\nfrom my room.", "\"Farewell, kind Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "I whispered, as I glided past her door.", "\"Farewell, my darling Adele!\"", "I said, as I glanced towards the nursery.", "No thought could be admitted of entering to embrace her.", "I had to\ndeceive a fine ear: for aught I knew it might now be listening.", "I would have got past Mr. Rochester's chamber without a pause; but my\nheart momentarily stopping its beat at that threshold, my foot was forced\nto stop also.", "No sleep was there: the inmate was walking restlessly from\nwall to wall; and again and again he sighed while I listened.", "There was\na heaven--a temporary heaven--in this room for me, if I chose: I had but\nto go in and to say--\n\n\"Mr. Rochester, I will love you and live with you through life till\ndeath,\" and a fount of rapture would spring to my lips.", "I thought of\nthis.", "That kind master, who could not sleep now, was waiting with impatience\nfor day.", "He would send for me in the morning; I should be gone.", "He\nwould have me sought for: vainly.", "He would feel himself forsaken; his\nlove rejected: he would suffer; perhaps grow desperate.", "I thought of\nthis too.", "My hand moved towards the lock: I caught it back, and glided\non.", "Drearily I wound my way downstairs: I knew what I had to do, and I did it\nmechanically.", "I sought the key of the side-door in the kitchen; I\nsought, too, a phial of oil and a feather; I oiled the key and the lock.", "I got some water, I got some bread: for perhaps I should have to walk\nfar; and my strength, sorely shaken of late, must not break down.", "All\nthis I did without one sound.", "I opened the door, passed out, shut it\nsoftly.", "Dim dawn glimmered in the yard.", "The great gates were closed and\nlocked; but a wicket in one of them was only latched.", "Through that I\ndeparted: it, too, I shut; and now I was out of Thornfield.", "A mile off, beyond the fields, lay a road which stretched in the contrary\ndirection to Millcote; a road I had never travelled, but often noticed,\nand wondered where it led: thither I bent my steps.", "No reflection was to\nbe allowed now: not one glance was to be cast back; not even one forward.", "Not one thought was to be given either to the past or the future.", "The\nfirst was a page so heavenly sweet--so deadly sad--that to read one line\nof it would dissolve my courage and break down my energy.", "The last was\nan awful blank: something like the world when the deluge was gone by.", "I skirted fields, and hedges, and lanes till after sunrise.", "I believe it\nwas a lovely summer morning: I know my shoes, which I had put on when I\nleft the house, were soon wet with dew.", "But I looked neither to rising\nsun, nor smiling sky, nor wakening nature.", "He who is taken out to pass\nthrough a fair scene to the scaffold, thinks not of the flowers that\nsmile on his road, but of the block and axe-edge; of the disseverment of\nbone and vein; of the grave gaping at the end: and I thought of drear\nflight and homeless wandering--and oh!", "with agony I thought of what I\nleft.", "I could not help it.", "I thought of him now--in his room--watching\nthe sunrise; hoping I should soon come to say I would stay with him and\nbe his.", "I longed to be his; I panted to return: it was not too late; I\ncould yet spare him the bitter pang of bereavement.", "As yet my flight, I\nwas sure, was undiscovered.", "I could go back and be his comforter--his\npride; his redeemer from misery, perhaps from ruin.", "Oh, that fear of his\nself-abandonment--far worse than my abandonment--how it goaded me!", "It\nwas a barbed arrow-head in my breast; it tore me when I tried to extract\nit; it sickened me when remembrance thrust it farther in.", "Birds began\nsinging in brake and copse: birds were faithful to their mates; birds\nwere emblems of love.", "What was I?", "In the midst of my pain of heart and\nfrantic effort of principle, I abhorred myself.", "I had no solace from\nself-approbation: none even from self-respect.", "I had\ninjured--wounded--left my master.", "I was hateful in my own eyes.", "Still I\ncould not turn, nor retrace one step.", "God must have led me on.", "As to my\nown will or conscience, impassioned grief had trampled one and stifled\nthe other.", "I was weeping wildly as I walked along my solitary way: fast,\nfast I went like one delirious.", "A weakness, beginning inwardly,\nextending to the limbs, seized me, and I fell: I lay on the ground some\nminutes, pressing my face to the wet turf.", "I had some fear--or hope--that\nhere I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and\nknees, and then again raised to my feet--as eager and as determined as\never to reach the road.", "When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and\nwhile I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on.", "I stood up and\nlifted my hand; it stopped.", "I asked where it was going: the driver named\na place a long way off, and where I was sure Mr. Rochester had no\nconnections.", "I asked for what sum he would take me there; he said thirty\nshillings; I answered I had but twenty; well, he would try to make it do.", "He further gave me leave to get into the inside, as the vehicle was\nempty: I entered, was shut in, and it rolled on its way.", "Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt!", "May your eyes never\nshed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine.", "May\nyou never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in\nthat hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the\ninstrument of evil to what you wholly love." ]

[ "Suddenly he turned away, with an inarticulate\nexclamation, full of passionate emotion of some kind; he walked fast\nthrough the room and came back; he stooped towards me as if to kiss me;\nbut I remembered caresses were now forbidden.", "he exclaimed hastily.", "His softened voice announced that he was subdued; so I, in my turn,\nbecame calm.", "Where turn for a\ncompanion and for some hope?\"", "My eye rose to his; and while I looked in his fierce face I\ngave an involuntary sigh; his gripe was painful, and my over-taxed\nstrength almost exhausted.", "(And he\nshook me with the force of his hold.)", "And it is you, spirit--with will and energy, and virtue\nand purity--that I want: not alone your brittle frame.", "The other articles I\nmade up in a parcel; my purse, containing twenty shillings (it was all I\nhad), I put in my pocket: I tied on my straw bonnet, pinned my shawl,\ntook the parcel and my slippers, which I would not put on yet, and stole\nfrom my room.", "I had\ninjured--wounded--left my master.", "I was weeping wildly as I walked along my solitary way: fast,\nfast I went like one delirious." ]

[ "\"You make me a liar by such language: you sully my honour.", "For\na wife I have but the maniac upstairs: as well might you refer me to some\ncorpse in yonder churchyard.", "Where did I go?", "I charged them to conceal from you, before I ever saw you, all\nknowledge of the curse of the place; merely because I feared Adele never\nwould have a governess to stay if she knew with what inmate she was\nhoused, and my plans would not permit me to remove the maniac\nelsewhere--though I possess an old house, Ferndean Manor, even more\nretired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safely\nenough, had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation, in\nthe heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement.", "He\nwould have me sought for: vainly.", "\"Jane!\"", "On the first of these occasions,\nshe perpetrated the attempt to burn me in my bed; on the second, she paid\nthat ghastly visit to you.", "\"I must leave Adele and Thornfield.", "My fixed desire was to seek and find a good and intelligent\nwoman, whom I could love: a contrast to the fury I left at Thornfield--\"\n\n\"But you could not marry, sir.\"", "I longed to be his; I panted to return: it was not too late; I\ncould yet spare him the bitter pang of bereavement." ]

[ "\"I mean,--What next?", "How did you proceed?", "What came of such an event?\"", "\"Precisely!", "and what do you wish to know now?\"", "\"Whether you found any one you liked: whether you asked her to marry you;\nand what she said.\"", "\"I can tell you whether I found any one I liked, and whether I asked her\nto marry me: but what she said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate.", "For ten long years I roved about, living first in one capital, then\nanother: sometimes in St. Petersburg; oftener in Paris; occasionally in\nRome, Naples, and Florence.", "Provided with plenty of money and the\npassport of an old name, I could choose my own society: no circles were\nclosed against me.", "I sought my ideal of a woman amongst English ladies,\nFrench countesses, Italian signoras, and German grafinnen.", "I could not\nfind her." ]

[ "\n\nSome time in the afternoon I raised my head, and looking round and seeing\nthe western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall, I asked,\n\"What am I to do?\"", "But the answer my mind gave--\"Leave Thornfield at once\"--was so prompt,\nso dread, that I stopped my ears.", "I said I could not bear such words\nnow.", "\"That I am not Edward Rochester's bride is the least part of my\nwoe,\" I alleged: \"that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams, and\nfound them all void and vain, is a horror I could bear and master; but\nthat I must leave him decidedly, instantly, entirely, is intolerable.", "I\ncannot do it.\"", "But, then, a voice within me averred that I could do it and foretold that\nI should do it.", "I wrestled with my own resolution: I wanted to be weak\nthat I might avoid the awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out\nfor me; and Conscience, turned tyrant, held Passion by the throat, told\nher tauntingly, she had yet but dipped her dainty foot in the slough, and\nswore that with that arm of iron he would thrust her down to unsounded\ndepths of agony.", "\"Let me be torn away,\" then I cried.", "\"Let another help me!\"", "\"No; you shall tear yourself away, none shall help you: you shall\nyourself pluck out your right eye; yourself cut off your right hand: your\nheart shall be the victim, and you the priest to transfix it.\"", "A weakness, beginning inwardly,\nextending to the limbs, seized me, and I fell: I lay on the ground some\nminutes, pressing my face to the wet turf.", "I had some fear--or hope--that\nhere I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and\nknees, and then again raised to my feet--as eager and as determined as\never to reach the road.", "When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and\nwhile I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on.", "I stood up and\nlifted my hand; it stopped.", "I asked where it was going: the driver named\na place a long way off, and where I was sure Mr. Rochester had no\nconnections.", "I asked for what sum he would take me there; he said thirty\nshillings; I answered I had but twenty; well, he would try to make it do.", "He further gave me leave to get into the inside, as the vehicle was\nempty: I entered, was shut in, and it rolled on its way.", "Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt!", "May your eyes never\nshed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine.", "May\nyou never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in\nthat hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the\ninstrument of evil to what you wholly love." ]

[ "\n\nTwo days are passed.", "It is a summer evening; the coachman has set me\ndown at a place called Whitcross; he could take me no farther for the sum\nI had given, and I was not possessed of another shilling in the world.", "The coach is a mile off by this time; I am alone.", "At this moment I\ndiscover that I forgot to take my parcel out of the pocket of the coach,\nwhere I had placed it for safety; there it remains, there it must remain;\nand now, I am absolutely destitute.", "Whitcross is no town, nor even a hamlet; it is but a stone pillar set up\nwhere four roads meet: whitewashed, I suppose, to be more obvious at a\ndistance and in darkness.", "Four arms spring from its summit: the nearest\ntown to which these point is, according to the inscription, distant ten\nmiles; the farthest, above twenty.", "From the well-known names of these\ntowns I learn in what county I have lighted; a north-midland shire, dusk\nwith moorland, ridged with mountain: this I see.", "There are great moors\nbehind and on each hand of me; there are waves of mountains far beyond\nthat deep valley at my feet.", "The population here must be thin, and I see\nno passengers on these roads: they stretch out east, west, north, and\nsouth--white, broad, lonely; they are all cut in the moor, and the\nheather grows deep and wild to their very verge.", "Yet a chance traveller\nmight pass by; and I wish no eye to see me now: strangers would wonder\nwhat I am doing, lingering here at the sign-post, evidently objectless\nand lost.", "I might be questioned: I could give no answer but what would\nsound incredible and excite suspicion.", "Not a tie holds me to human\nsociety at this moment--not a charm or hope calls me where my\nfellow-creatures are--none that saw me would have a kind thought or a\ngood wish for me.", "I have no relative but the universal mother, Nature: I\nwill seek her breast and ask repose.", "I struck straight into the heath; I held on to a hollow I saw deeply\nfurrowing the brown moorside; I waded knee-deep in its dark growth; I\nturned with its turnings, and finding a moss-blackened granite crag in a\nhidden angle, I sat down under it.", "High banks of moor were about me; the\ncrag protected my head: the sky was over that.", "Some time passed before I felt tranquil even here: I had a vague dread\nthat wild cattle might be near, or that some sportsman or poacher might\ndiscover me.", "If a gust of wind swept the waste, I looked up, fearing it\nwas the rush of a bull; if a plover whistled, I imagined it a man.", "Finding my apprehensions unfounded, however, and calmed by the deep\nsilence that reigned as evening declined at nightfall, I took confidence.", "As yet I had not thought; I had only listened, watched, dreaded; now I\nregained the faculty of reflection.", "What was I to do?", "Where to go?", "Oh, intolerable questions, when I could\ndo nothing and go nowhere!--when a long way must yet be measured by my\nweary, trembling limbs before I could reach human habitation--when cold\ncharity must be entreated before I could get a lodging: reluctant\nsympathy importuned, almost certain repulse incurred, before my tale\ncould be listened to, or one of my wants relieved!", "I touched the heath: it was dry, and yet warm with the heat of the summer\nday.", "I looked at the sky; it was pure: a kindly star twinkled just above\nthe chasm ridge.", "The dew fell, but with propitious softness; no breeze\nwhispered.", "Nature seemed to me benign and good; I thought she loved me,\noutcast as I was; and I, who from man could anticipate only mistrust,\nrejection, insult, clung to her with filial fondness.", "To-night, at\nleast, I would be her guest, as I was her child: my mother would lodge me\nwithout money and without price.", "I had one morsel of bread yet: the\nremnant of a roll I had bought in a town we passed through at noon with a\nstray penny--my last coin.", "I saw ripe bilberries gleaming here and\nthere, like jet beads in the heath: I gathered a handful and ate them\nwith the bread.", "My hunger, sharp before, was, if not satisfied, appeased\nby this hermit's meal.", "I said my evening prayers at its conclusion, and\nthen chose my couch.", "{I said my evening prayers: p311.jpg}\n\nBeside the crag the heath was very deep: when I lay down my feet were\nburied in it; rising high on each side, it left only a narrow space for\nthe night-air to invade.", "I folded my shawl double, and spread it over me\nfor a coverlet; a low, mossy swell was my pillow.", "Thus lodged, I was\nnot, at least--at the commencement of the night, cold.", "My rest might have been blissful enough, only a sad heart broke it.", "It\nplained of its gaping wounds, its inward bleeding, its riven chords.", "It\ntrembled for Mr. Rochester and his doom; it bemoaned him with bitter\npity; it demanded him with ceaseless longing; and, impotent as a bird\nwith both wings broken, it still quivered its shattered pinions in vain\nattempts to seek him.", "Worn out with this torture of thought, I rose to my knees.", "Night was\ncome, and her planets were risen: a safe, still night: too serene for the\ncompanionship of fear.", "We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we\nfeel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread\nbefore us; and it is in the unclouded night-sky, where His worlds wheel\ntheir silent course, that we read clearest His infinitude, His\nomnipotence, His omnipresence.", "I had risen to my knees to pray for Mr.\nRochester.", "Looking up, I, with tear-dimmed eyes, saw the mighty Milky-\nway.", "Remembering what it was--what countless systems there swept space\nlike a soft trace of light--I felt the might and strength of God.", "Sure\nwas I of His efficiency to save what He had made: convinced I grew that\nneither earth should perish, nor one of the souls it treasured.", "I turned\nmy prayer to thanksgiving: the Source of Life was also the Saviour of\nspirits.", "Mr. Rochester was safe; he was God's, and by God would he be\nguarded.", "I again nestled to the breast of the hill; and ere long in\nsleep forgot sorrow.", "But next day, Want came to me pale and bare.", "Long after the little birds\nhad left their nests; long after bees had come in the sweet prime of day\nto gather the heath honey before the dew was dried--when the long morning\nshadows were curtailed, and the sun filled earth and sky--I got up, and I\nlooked round me.", "What a still, hot, perfect day!", "What a golden desert this spreading\nmoor!", "Everywhere sunshine.", "I wished I could live in it and on it.", "I\nsaw a lizard run over the crag; I saw a bee busy among the sweet\nbilberries.", "I would fain at the moment have become bee or lizard, that I\nmight have found fitting nutriment, permanent shelter here.", "But I was a\nhuman being, and had a human being's wants: I must not linger where there\nwas nothing to supply them.", "I rose; I looked back at the bed I had left.", "Hopeless of the future, I wished but this--that my Maker had that night\nthought good to require my soul of me while I slept; and that this weary\nframe, absolved by death from further conflict with fate, had now but to\ndecay quietly, and mingle in peace with the soil of this wilderness.", "Life, however, was yet in my possession, with all its requirements, and\npains, and responsibilities.", "The burden must be carried; the want\nprovided for; the suffering endured; the responsibility fulfilled.", "I set\nout.", "Whitcross regained, I followed a road which led from the sun, now fervent\nand high.", "By no other circumstance had I will to decide my choice.", "I\nwalked a long time, and when I thought I had nearly done enough, and\nmight conscientiously yield to the fatigue that almost overpowered\nme--might relax this forced action, and, sitting down on a stone I saw\nnear, submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart and limb--I\nheard a bell chime--a church bell.", "I turned in the direction of the sound, and there, amongst the romantic\nhills, whose changes and aspect I had ceased to note an hour ago, I saw a\nhamlet and a spire.", "All the valley at my right hand was full of pasture-\nfields, and cornfields, and wood; and a glittering stream ran zig-zag\nthrough the varied shades of green, the mellowing grain, the sombre\nwoodland, the clear and sunny lea.", "Recalled by the rumbling of wheels to\nthe road before me, I saw a heavily-laden waggon labouring up the hill,\nand not far beyond were two cows and their drover.", "Human life and human\nlabour were near.", "I must struggle on: strive to live and bend to toil\nlike the rest.", "About two o'clock p.m.", "I entered the village.", "At the bottom of its one\nstreet there was a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window.", "I\ncoveted a cake of bread.", "With that refreshment I could perhaps regain a\ndegree of energy: without it, it would be difficult to proceed.", "The wish\nto have some strength and some vigour returned to me as soon as I was\namongst my fellow-beings.", "I felt it would be degrading to faint with\nhunger on the causeway of a hamlet.", "Had I nothing about me I could offer\nin exchange for one of these rolls?", "I considered.", "I had a small silk\nhandkerchief tied round my throat; I had my gloves.", "I could hardly tell\nhow men and women in extremities of destitution proceeded.", "I did not\nknow whether either of these articles would be accepted: probably they\nwould not; but I must try.", "I entered the shop: a woman was there.", "Seeing a respectably-dressed\nperson, a lady as she supposed, she came forward with civility.", "How\ncould she serve me?", "I was seized with shame: my tongue would not utter\nthe request I had prepared.", "I dared not offer her the half-worn gloves,\nthe creased handkerchief: besides, I felt it would be absurd.", "I only\nbegged permission to sit down a moment, as I was tired.", "Disappointed in\nthe expectation of a customer, she coolly acceded to my request.", "She\npointed to a seat; I sank into it.", "I felt sorely urged to weep; but\nconscious how unseasonable such a manifestation would be, I restrained\nit.", "Soon I asked her \"if there were any dressmaker or plain-workwoman in\nthe village?\"", "\"Yes; two or three.", "Quite as many as there was employment for.\"", "I reflected.", "I was driven to the point now.", "I was brought face to face\nwith Necessity.", "I stood in the position of one without a resource,\nwithout a friend, without a coin.", "I must do something.", "What?", "I must\napply somewhere.", "Where?", "\"Did she know of any place in the neighbourhood where a servant was\nwanted?\"", "\"Nay; she couldn't say.\"", "\"What was the chief trade in this place?", "What did most of the people\ndo?\"", "\"Some were farm labourers; a good deal worked at Mr. Oliver's\nneedle-factory, and at the foundry.\"", "\"Did Mr. Oliver employ women?\"", "\"Nay; it was men's work.\"", "\"And what do the women do?\"", "\"I knawn't,\" was the answer.", "\"Some does one thing, and some another.", "Poor folk mun get on as they can.\"", "She seemed to be tired of my questions: and, indeed, what claim had I to\nimportune her?", "A neighbour or two came in; my chair was evidently\nwanted.", "I took leave.", "I passed up the street, looking as I went at all the houses to the right\nhand and to the left; but I could discover no pretext, nor see an\ninducement to enter any.", "I rambled round the hamlet, going sometimes to\na little distance and returning again, for an hour or more.", "Much\nexhausted, and suffering greatly now for want of food, I turned aside\ninto a lane and sat down under the hedge.", "Ere many minutes had elapsed,\nI was again on my feet, however, and again searching something--a\nresource, or at least an informant.", "A pretty little house stood at the\ntop of the lane, with a garden before it, exquisitely neat and\nbrilliantly blooming.", "I stopped at it.", "What business had I to approach\nthe white door or touch the glittering knocker?", "In what way could it\npossibly be the interest of the inhabitants of that dwelling to serve me?", "Yet I drew near and knocked.", "A mild-looking, cleanly-attired young woman\nopened the door.", "In such a voice as might be expected from a hopeless\nheart and fainting frame--a voice wretchedly low and faltering--I asked\nif a servant was wanted here?", "\"No,\" said she; \"we do not keep a servant.\"", "\"Can you tell me where I could get employment of any kind?\"", "I continued.", "\"I am a stranger, without acquaintance in this place.", "I want some work:\nno matter what.\"", "But it was not her business to think for me, or to seek a place for me:\nbesides, in her eyes, how doubtful must have appeared my character,\nposition, tale.", "She shook her head, she \"was sorry she could give me no\ninformation,\" and the white door closed, quite gently and civilly: but it\nshut me out.", "If she had held it open a little longer, I believe I should\nhave begged a piece of bread; for I was now brought low.", "I could not bear to return to the sordid village, where, besides, no\nprospect of aid was visible.", "I should have longed rather to deviate to a\nwood I saw not far off, which appeared in its thick shade to offer\ninviting shelter; but I was so sick, so weak, so gnawed with nature's\ncravings, instinct kept me roaming round abodes where there was a chance\nof food.", "Solitude would be no solitude--rest no rest--while the vulture,\nhunger, thus sank beak and talons in my side.", "I drew near houses; I left them, and came back again, and again I\nwandered away: always repelled by the consciousness of having no claim to\nask--no right to expect interest in my isolated lot.", "Meantime, the\nafternoon advanced, while I thus wandered about like a lost and starving\ndog.", "In crossing a field, I saw the church spire before me: I hastened\ntowards it.", "Near the churchyard, and in the middle of a garden, stood a\nwell-built though small house, which I had no doubt was the parsonage.", "I\nremembered that strangers who arrive at a place where they have no\nfriends, and who want employment, sometimes apply to the clergyman for\nintroduction and aid.", "It is the clergyman's function to help--at least\nwith advice--those who wished to help themselves.", "I seemed to have\nsomething like a right to seek counsel here.", "Renewing then my courage,\nand gathering my feeble remains of strength, I pushed on.", "I reached the\nhouse, and knocked at the kitchen-door.", "An old woman opened: I asked was\nthis the parsonage?", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Was the clergyman in?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Would he be in soon?\"", "\"No, he was gone from home.\"", "\"To a distance?\"", "\"Not so far--happen three mile.", "He had been called away by the sudden\ndeath of his father: he was at Marsh End now, and would very likely stay\nthere a fortnight longer.\"", "\"Was there any lady of the house?\"", "\"Nay, there was naught but her, and she was housekeeper;\" and of her,\nreader, I could not bear to ask the relief for want of which I was\nsinking; I could not yet beg; and again I crawled away.", "Once more I took off my handkerchief--once more I thought of the cakes of\nbread in the little shop.", "Oh, for but a crust!", "for but one mouthful to\nallay the pang of famine!", "Instinctively I turned my face again to the\nvillage; I found the shop again, and I went in; and though others were\nthere besides the woman I ventured the request--\"Would she give me a roll\nfor this handkerchief?\"", "She looked at me with evident suspicion: \"Nay, she never sold stuff i'\nthat way.\"", "Almost desperate, I asked for half a cake; she again refused.", "\"How could\nshe tell where I had got the handkerchief?\"", "she said.", "\"Would she take my gloves?\"", "\"No!", "what could she do with them?\"", "Reader, it is not pleasant to dwell on these details.", "Some say there is\nenjoyment in looking back to painful experience past; but at this day I\ncan scarcely bear to review the times to which I allude: the moral\ndegradation, blent with the physical suffering, form too distressing a\nrecollection ever to be willingly dwelt on.", "I blamed none of those who\nrepulsed me.", "I felt it was what was to be expected, and what could not\nbe helped: an ordinary beggar is frequently an object of suspicion; a\nwell-dressed beggar inevitably so.", "To be sure, what I begged was\nemployment; but whose business was it to provide me with employment?", "Not,\ncertainly, that of persons who saw me then for the first time, and who\nknew nothing about my character.", "And as to the woman who would not take\nmy handkerchief in exchange for her bread, why, she was right, if the\noffer appeared to her sinister or the exchange unprofitable.", "Let me\ncondense now.", "I am sick of the subject.", "A little before dark I passed a farm-house, at the open door of which the\nfarmer was sitting, eating his supper of bread and cheese.", "I stopped and\nsaid--\n\n\"Will you give me a piece of bread?", "for I am very hungry.\"", "He cast on me\na glance of surprise; but without answering, he cut a thick slice from\nhis loaf, and gave it to me.", "I imagine he did not think I was a beggar,\nbut only an eccentric sort of lady, who had taken a fancy to his brown\nloaf.", "As soon as I was out of sight of his house, I sat down and ate it.", "I could not hope to get a lodging under a roof, and sought it in the wood\nI have before alluded to.", "But my night was wretched, my rest broken: the\nground was damp, the air cold: besides, intruders passed near me more\nthan once, and I had again and again to change my quarters; no sense of\nsafety or tranquillity befriended me.", "Towards morning it rained; the\nwhole of the following day was wet.", "Do not ask me, reader, to give a\nminute account of that day; as before, I sought work; as before, I was\nrepulsed; as before, I starved; but once did food pass my lips.", "At the\ndoor of a cottage I saw a little girl about to throw a mess of cold\nporridge into a pig trough.", "\"Will you give me that?\"", "I asked.", "{\"Will you give me that?\"", "I asked: p316.jpg}\n\nShe stared at me.", "\"Mother!\"", "she exclaimed, \"there is a woman wants me to\ngive her these porridge.\"", "\"Well lass,\" replied a voice within, \"give it her if she's a beggar.", "T'\npig doesn't want it.\"", "The girl emptied the stiffened mould into my hand, and I devoured it\nravenously.", "As the wet twilight deepened, I stopped in a solitary bridle-path, which\nI had been pursuing an hour or more.", "\"My strength is quite failing me,\" I said in a soliloquy.", "\"I feel I\ncannot go much farther.", "Shall I be an outcast again this night?", "While\nthe rain descends so, must I lay my head on the cold, drenched ground?", "I\nfear I cannot do otherwise: for who will receive me?", "But it will be very\ndreadful, with this feeling of hunger, faintness, chill, and this sense\nof desolation--this total prostration of hope.", "In all likelihood,\nthough, I should die before morning.", "And why cannot I reconcile myself\nto the prospect of death?", "Why do I struggle to retain a valueless life?", "Because I know, or believe, Mr. Rochester is living: and then, to die of\nwant and cold is a fate to which nature cannot submit passively.", "Oh,\nProvidence!", "sustain me a little longer!", "Aid!--direct me!\"", "My glazed eye wandered over the dim and misty landscape.", "I saw I had\nstrayed far from the village: it was quite out of sight.", "The very\ncultivation surrounding it had disappeared.", "I had, by cross-ways and by-\npaths, once more drawn near the tract of moorland; and now, only a few\nfields, almost as wild and unproductive as the heath from which they were\nscarcely reclaimed, lay between me and the dusky hill.", "\"Well, I would rather die yonder than in a street or on a frequented\nroad,\" I reflected.", "\"And far better that crows and ravens--if any ravens\nthere be in these regions--should pick my flesh from my bones, than that\nthey should be prisoned in a workhouse coffin and moulder in a pauper's\ngrave.\"", "To the hill, then, I turned.", "I reached it.", "It remained now only to find\na hollow where I could lie down, and feel at least hidden, if not secure.", "But all the surface of the waste looked level.", "It showed no variation\nbut of tint: green, where rush and moss overgrew the marshes; black,\nwhere the dry soil bore only heath.", "Dark as it was getting, I could\nstill see these changes, though but as mere alternations of light and\nshade; for colour had faded with the daylight.", "My eye still roved over the sullen swell and along the moor-edge,\nvanishing amidst the wildest scenery, when at one dim point, far in among\nthe marshes and the ridges, a light sprang up.", "\"That is an _ignis\nfatuus_,\" was my first thought; and I expected it would soon vanish.", "It\nburnt on, however, quite steadily, neither receding nor advancing.", "\"Is\nit, then, a bonfire just kindled?\"", "I questioned.", "I watched to see\nwhether it would spread: but no; as it did not diminish, so it did not\nenlarge.", "\"It may be a candle in a house,\" I then conjectured; \"but if\nso, I can never reach it.", "It is much too far away: and were it within a\nyard of me, what would it avail?", "I should but knock at the door to have\nit shut in my face.\"", "And I sank down where I stood, and hid my face against the ground.", "I lay\nstill a while: the night-wind swept over the hill and over me, and died\nmoaning in the distance; the rain fell fast, wetting me afresh to the\nskin.", "Could I but have stiffened to the still frost--the friendly\nnumbness of death--it might have pelted on; I should not have felt it;\nbut my yet living flesh shuddered at its chilling influence.", "I rose ere\nlong.", "The light was yet there, shining dim but constant through the rain.", "I\ntried to walk again: I dragged my exhausted limbs slowly towards it.", "It\nled me aslant over the hill, through a wide bog, which would have been\nimpassable in winter, and was splashy and shaking even now, in the height\nof summer.", "Here I fell twice; but as often I rose and rallied my\nfaculties.", "This light was my forlorn hope: I must gain it.", "Having crossed the marsh, I saw a trace of white over the moor.", "I\napproached it; it was a road or a track: it led straight up to the light,\nwhich now beamed from a sort of knoll, amidst a clump of trees--firs,\napparently, from what I could distinguish of the character of their forms\nand foliage through the gloom.", "My star vanished as I drew near: some\nobstacle had intervened between me and it.", "I put out my hand to feel the\ndark mass before me: I discriminated the rough stones of a low wall--above\nit, something like palisades, and within, a high and prickly hedge.", "I\ngroped on.", "Again a whitish object gleamed before me: it was a gate--a\nwicket; it moved on its hinges as I touched it.", "On each side stood a\nsable bush-holly or yew.", "Entering the gate and passing the shrubs, the silhouette of a house rose\nto view, black, low, and rather long; but the guiding light shone\nnowhere.", "All was obscurity.", "Were the inmates retired to rest?", "I feared\nit must be so.", "In seeking the door, I turned an angle: there shot out\nthe friendly gleam again, from the lozenged panes of a very small\nlatticed window, within a foot of the ground, made still smaller by the\ngrowth of ivy or some other creeping plant, whose leaves clustered thick\nover the portion of the house wall in which it was set.", "The aperture was\nso screened and narrow, that curtain or shutter had been deemed\nunnecessary; and when I stooped down and put aside the spray of foliage\nshooting over it, I could see all within.", "I could see clearly a room\nwith a sanded floor, clean scoured; a dresser of walnut, with pewter\nplates ranged in rows, reflecting the redness and radiance of a glowing\npeat-fire.", "I could see a clock, a white deal table, some chairs.", "The\ncandle, whose ray had been my beacon, burnt on the table; and by its\nlight an elderly woman, somewhat rough-looking, but scrupulously clean,\nlike all about her, was knitting a stocking.", "I noticed these objects cursorily only--in them there was nothing\nextraordinary.", "A group of more interest appeared near the hearth,\nsitting still amidst the rosy peace and warmth suffusing it.", "Two young,\ngraceful women--ladies in every point--sat, one in a low rocking-chair,\nthe other on a lower stool; both wore deep mourning of crape and\nbombazeen, which sombre garb singularly set off very fair necks and\nfaces: a large old pointer dog rested its massive head on the knee of one\ngirl--in the lap of the other was cushioned a black cat.", "A strange place was this humble kitchen for such occupants!", "Who were\nthey?", "They could not be the daughters of the elderly person at the\ntable; for she looked like a rustic, and they were all delicacy and\ncultivation.", "I had nowhere seen such faces as theirs: and yet, as I\ngazed on them, I seemed intimate with every lineament.", "I cannot call\nthem handsome--they were too pale and grave for the word: as they each\nbent over a book, they looked thoughtful almost to severity.", "A stand\nbetween them supported a second candle and two great volumes, to which\nthey frequently referred, comparing them, seemingly, with the smaller\nbooks they held in their hands, like people consulting a dictionary to\naid them in the task of translation.", "This scene was as silent as if all\nthe figures had been shadows and the firelit apartment a picture: so\nhushed was it, I could hear the cinders fall from the grate, the clock\ntick in its obscure corner; and I even fancied I could distinguish the\nclick-click of the woman's knitting-needles.", "When, therefore, a voice\nbroke the strange stillness at last, it was audible enough to me.", "\"Listen, Diana,\" said one of the absorbed students; \"Franz and old Daniel\nare together in the night-time, and Franz is telling a dream from which\nhe has awakened in terror--listen!\"", "And in a low voice she read\nsomething, of which not one word was intelligible to me; for it was in an\nunknown tongue--neither French nor Latin.", "Whether it were Greek or\nGerman I could not tell.", "\"That is strong,\" she said, when she had finished: \"I relish it.\"", "The\nother girl, who had lifted her head to listen to her sister, repeated,\nwhile she gazed at the fire, a line of what had been read.", "At a later\nday, I knew the language and the book; therefore, I will here quote the\nline: though, when I first heard it, it was only like a stroke on\nsounding brass to me--conveying no meaning:--\n\n\"'Da trat hervor Einer, anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht.'", "Good!", "good!\"", "she exclaimed, while her dark and deep eye sparkled.", "\"There you have a\ndim and mighty archangel fitly set before you!", "The line is worth a\nhundred pages of fustian.", "'Ich wage die Gedanken in der Schale meines\nZornes und die Werke mit dem Gewichte meines Grimms.'", "I like it!\"", "Both were again silent.", "\"Is there ony country where they talk i' that way?\"", "asked the old woman,\nlooking up from her knitting.", "\"Yes, Hannah--a far larger country than England, where they talk in no\nother way.\"", "\"Well, for sure case, I knawn't how they can understand t' one t'other:\nand if either o' ye went there, ye could tell what they said, I guess?\"", "\"We could probably tell something of what they said, but not all--for we\nare not as clever as you think us, Hannah.", "We don't speak German, and we\ncannot read it without a dictionary to help us.\"", "\"And what good does it do you?\"", "\"We mean to teach it some time--or at least the elements, as they say;\nand then we shall get more money than we do now.\"", "\"Varry like: but give ower studying; ye've done enough for to-night.\"", "\"I think we have: at least I'm tired.", "Mary, are you?\"", "\"Mortally: after all, it's tough work fagging away at a language with no\nmaster but a lexicon.\"", "\"It is, especially such a language as this crabbed but glorious Deutsch.", "I wonder when St. John will come home.\"", "\"Surely he will not be long now: it is just ten (looking at a little gold\nwatch she drew from her girdle).", "It rains fast, Hannah: will you have\nthe goodness to look at the fire in the parlour?\"", "The woman rose: she opened a door, through which I dimly saw a passage:\nsoon I heard her stir a fire in an inner room; she presently came back.", "\"Ah, childer!\"", "said she, \"it fair troubles me to go into yond' room now:\nit looks so lonesome wi' the chair empty and set back in a corner.\"", "She wiped her eyes with her apron: the two girls, grave before, looked\nsad now.", "\"But he is in a better place,\" continued Hannah: \"we shouldn't wish him\nhere again.", "And then, nobody need to have a quieter death nor he had.\"", "\"You say he never mentioned us?\"", "inquired one of the ladies.", "\"He hadn't time, bairn: he was gone in a minute, was your father.", "He had\nbeen a bit ailing like the day before, but naught to signify; and when\nMr. St. John asked if he would like either o' ye to be sent for, he fair\nlaughed at him.", "He began again with a bit of a heaviness in his head the\nnext day--that is, a fortnight sin'--and he went to sleep and niver\nwakened: he wor a'most stark when your brother went into t' chamber and\nfand him.", "Ah, childer!", "that's t' last o' t' old stock--for ye and Mr.\nSt. John is like of different soart to them 'at's gone; for all your\nmother wor mich i' your way, and a'most as book-learned.", "She wor the\npictur' o' ye, Mary: Diana is more like your father.\"", "I thought them so similar I could not tell where the old servant (for\nsuch I now concluded her to be) saw the difference.", "Both were fair\ncomplexioned and slenderly made; both possessed faces full of distinction\nand intelligence.", "One, to be sure, had hair a shade darker than the\nother, and there was a difference in their style of wearing it; Mary's\npale brown locks were parted and braided smooth: Diana's duskier tresses\ncovered her neck with thick curls.", "The clock struck ten.", "\"Ye'll want your supper, I am sure,\" observed Hannah; \"and so will Mr.\nSt. John when he comes in.\"", "And she proceeded to prepare the meal.", "The ladies rose; they seemed\nabout to withdraw to the parlour.", "Till this moment, I had been so intent\non watching them, their appearance and conversation had excited in me so\nkeen an interest, I had half-forgotten my own wretched position: now it\nrecurred to me.", "More desolate, more desperate than ever, it seemed from\ncontrast.", "And how impossible did it appear to touch the inmates of this\nhouse with concern on my behalf; to make them believe in the truth of my\nwants and woes--to induce them to vouchsafe a rest for my wanderings!", "As\nI groped out the door, and knocked at it hesitatingly, I felt that last\nidea to be a mere chimera.", "Hannah opened.", "\"What do you want?\"", "she inquired, in a voice of surprise, as she surveyed\nme by the light of the candle she held.", "\"May I speak to your mistresses?\"", "I said.", "\"You had better tell me what you have to say to them.", "Where do you come\nfrom?\"", "\"I am a stranger.\"", "\"What is your business here at this hour?\"", "\"I want a night's shelter in an out-house or anywhere, and a morsel of\nbread to eat.\"", "Distrust, the very feeling I dreaded, appeared in Hannah's face.", "\"I'll\ngive you a piece of bread,\" she said, after a pause; \"but we can't take\nin a vagrant to lodge.", "It isn't likely.\"", "\"Do let me speak to your mistresses.\"", "\"No, not I.", "What can they do for you?", "You should not be roving about\nnow; it looks very ill.\"\n\n\"But where shall I go if you drive me away?", "What shall I do?\"", "\"Oh, I'll warrant you know where to go and what to do.", "Mind you don't do\nwrong, that's all.", "Here is a penny; now go--\"\n\n\"A penny cannot feed me, and I have no strength to go farther.", "Don't\nshut the door:--oh, don't, for God's sake!\"", "\"I must; the rain is driving in--\"\n\n\"Tell the young ladies.", "Let me see them--\"\n\n\"Indeed, I will not.", "You are not what you ought to be, or you wouldn't\nmake such a noise.", "Move off.\"", "\"But I must die if I am turned away.\"", "\"Not you.", "I'm fear'd you have some ill plans agate, that bring you about\nfolk's houses at this time o' night.", "If you've any\nfollowers--housebreakers or such like--anywhere near, you may tell them\nwe are not by ourselves in the house; we have a gentleman, and dogs, and\nguns.\"", "Here the honest but inflexible servant clapped the door to and\nbolted it within.", "This was the climax.", "A pang of exquisite suffering--a throe of true\ndespair--rent and heaved my heart.", "Worn out, indeed, I was; not another\nstep could I stir.", "I sank on the wet doorstep: I groaned--I wrung my\nhands--I wept in utter anguish.", "Oh, this spectre of death!", "Oh, this\nlast hour, approaching in such horror!", "Alas, this isolation--this\nbanishment from my kind!", "Not only the anchor of hope, but the footing of\nfortitude was gone--at least for a moment; but the last I soon\nendeavoured to regain.", "\"I can but die,\" I said, \"and I believe in God.", "Let me try to wait His\nwill in silence.\"", "These words I not only thought, but uttered; and thrusting back all my\nmisery into my heart, I made an effort to compel it to remain there--dumb\nand still.", "\"All men must die,\" said a voice quite close at hand; \"but all are not\ncondemned to meet a lingering and premature doom, such as yours would be\nif you perished here of want.\"", "\"Who or what speaks?\"", "I asked, terrified at the unexpected sound, and\nincapable now of deriving from any occurrence a hope of aid.", "A form was\nnear--what form, the pitch-dark night and my enfeebled vision prevented\nme from distinguishing.", "With a loud long knock, the new-comer appealed\nto the door.", "\"Is it you, Mr. St.", "John?\"", "cried Hannah.", "\"Yes--yes; open quickly.\"", "\"Well, how wet and cold you must be, such a wild night as it is!", "Come\nin--your sisters are quite uneasy about you, and I believe there are bad\nfolks about.", "There has been a beggar-woman--I declare she is not gone\nyet!--laid down there.", "Get up!", "for shame!", "Move off, I say!\"", "\"Hush, Hannah!", "I have a word to say to the woman.", "You have done your\nduty in excluding, now let me do mine in admitting her.", "I was near, and\nlistened to both you and her.", "I think this is a peculiar case--I must at\nleast examine into it.", "Young woman, rise, and pass before me into the\nhouse.\"", "{Hush, Hannah; I have a word to say to the woman: p323.jpg}\n\nWith difficulty I obeyed him.", "Presently I stood within that clean,\nbright kitchen--on the very hearth--trembling, sickening; conscious of an\naspect in the last degree ghastly, wild, and weather-beaten.", "The two\nladies, their brother, Mr. St. John, the old servant, were all gazing at\nme.", "\"St. John, who is it?\"", "I heard one ask.", "\"I cannot tell: I found her at the door,\" was the reply.", "\"She does look white,\" said Hannah.", "\"As white as clay or death,\" was responded.", "\"She will fall: let her\nsit.\"", "And indeed my head swam: I dropped, but a chair received me.", "I still\npossessed my senses, though just now I could not speak.", "\"Perhaps a little water would restore her.", "Hannah, fetch some.", "But she\nis worn to nothing.", "How very thin, and how very bloodless!\"", "\"A mere spectre!\"", "\"Is she ill, or only famished?\"", "\"Famished, I think.", "Hannah, is that milk?", "Give it me, and a piece of\nbread.\"", "Diana (I knew her by the long curls which I saw drooping between me and\nthe fire as she bent over me) broke some bread, dipped it in milk, and\nput it to my lips.", "Her face was near mine: I saw there was pity in it,\nand I felt sympathy in her hurried breathing.", "In her simple words, too,\nthe same balm-like emotion spoke: \"Try to eat.\"", "\"Yes--try,\" repeated Mary gently; and Mary's hand removed my sodden\nbonnet and lifted my head.", "I tasted what they offered me: feebly at\nfirst, eagerly soon.", "\"Not too much at first--restrain her,\" said the brother; \"she has had\nenough.\"", "And he withdrew the cup of milk and the plate of bread.", "\"A little more, St. John--look at the avidity in her eyes.\"", "\"No more at present, sister.", "Try if she can speak now--ask her her\nname.\"", "I felt I could speak, and I answered--\"My name is Jane Elliott.\"", "Anxious\nas ever to avoid discovery, I had before resolved to assume an _alias_.", "\"And where do you live?", "Where are your friends?\"", "I was silent.", "\"Can we send for any one you know?\"", "I shook my head.", "\"What account can you give of yourself?\"", "Somehow, now that I had once crossed the threshold of this house, and\nonce was brought face to face with its owners, I felt no longer outcast,\nvagrant, and disowned by the wide world.", "I dared to put off the\nmendicant--to resume my natural manner and character.", "I began once more\nto know myself; and when Mr. St. John demanded an account--which at\npresent I was far too weak to render--I said after a brief pause--\n\n\"Sir, I can give you no details to-night.\"", "\"But what, then,\" said he, \"do you expect me to do for you?\"", "\"Nothing,\" I replied.", "My strength sufficed for but short answers.", "Diana\ntook the word--\n\n\"Do you mean,\" she asked, \"that we have now given you what aid you\nrequire?", "and that we may dismiss you to the moor and the rainy night?\"", "I looked at her.", "She had, I thought, a remarkable countenance, instinct\nboth with power and goodness.", "I took sudden courage.", "Answering her\ncompassionate gaze with a smile, I said--\"I will trust you.", "If I were a\nmasterless and stray dog, I know that you would not turn me from your\nhearth to-night: as it is, I really have no fear.", "Do with me and for me\nas you like; but excuse me from much discourse--my breath is short--I\nfeel a spasm when I speak.\"", "All three surveyed me, and all three were\nsilent.", "\"Hannah,\" said Mr. St. John, at last, \"let her sit there at present, and\nask her no questions; in ten minutes more, give her the remainder of that\nmilk and bread.", "Mary and Diana, let us go into the parlour and talk the\nmatter over.\"", "They withdrew.", "Very soon one of the ladies returned--I could not tell\nwhich.", "A kind of pleasant stupor was stealing over me as I sat by the\ngenial fire.", "In an undertone she gave some directions to Hannah.", "Ere\nlong, with the servant's aid, I contrived to mount a staircase; my\ndripping clothes were removed; soon a warm, dry bed received me.", "I\nthanked God--experienced amidst unutterable exhaustion a glow of grateful\njoy--and slept.", "The recollection of about three days and nights succeeding this is very\ndim in my mind.", "I can recall some sensations felt in that interval; but\nfew thoughts framed, and no actions performed.", "I knew I was in a small\nroom and in a narrow bed.", "To that bed I seemed to have grown; I lay on\nit motionless as a stone; and to have torn me from it would have been\nalmost to kill me.", "I took no note of the lapse of time--of the change\nfrom morning to noon, from noon to evening.", "I observed when any one\nentered or left the apartment: I could even tell who they were; I could\nunderstand what was said when the speaker stood near to me; but I could\nnot answer; to open my lips or move my limbs was equally impossible.", "Hannah, the servant, was my most frequent visitor.", "Her coming disturbed\nme.", "I had a feeling that she wished me away: that she did not understand\nme or my circumstances; that she was prejudiced against me.", "Diana and\nMary appeared in the chamber once or twice a day.", "They would whisper\nsentences of this sort at my bedside--\n\n\"It is very well we took her in.\"", "\"Yes; she would certainly have been found dead at the door in the morning\nhad she been left out all night.", "I wonder what she has gone through?\"", "\"Strange hardships, I imagine--poor, emaciated, pallid wanderer?\"", "\"She is not an uneducated person, I should think, by her manner of\nspeaking; her accent was quite pure; and the clothes she took off, though\nsplashed and wet, were little worn and fine.\"", "\"She has a peculiar face; fleshless and haggard as it is, I rather like\nit; and when in good health and animated, I can fancy her physiognomy\nwould be agreeable.\"", "Never once in their dialogues did I hear a syllable of regret at the\nhospitality they had extended to me, or of suspicion of, or aversion to,\nmyself.", "I was comforted.", "Mr. St. John came but once: he looked at me, and said my state of\nlethargy was the result of reaction from excessive and protracted\nfatigue.", "He pronounced it needless to send for a doctor: nature, he was\nsure, would manage best, left to herself.", "He said every nerve had been\noverstrained in some way, and the whole system must sleep torpid a while.", "There was no disease.", "He imagined my recovery would be rapid enough when\nonce commenced.", "These opinions he delivered in a few words, in a quiet,\nlow voice; and added, after a pause, in the tone of a man little\naccustomed to expansive comment, \"Rather an unusual physiognomy;\ncertainly, not indicative of vulgarity or degradation.\"", "\"Far otherwise,\" responded Diana.", "\"To speak truth, St. John, my heart\nrather warms to the poor little soul.", "I wish we may be able to benefit\nher permanently.\"", "\"That is hardly likely,\" was the reply.", "\"You will find she is some young\nlady who has had a misunderstanding with her friends, and has probably\ninjudiciously left them.", "We may, perhaps, succeed in restoring her to\nthem, if she is not obstinate: but I trace lines of force in her face\nwhich make me sceptical of her tractability.\"", "He stood considering me\nsome minutes; then added, \"She looks sensible, but not at all handsome.\"", "\"She is so ill, St.", "John.\"", "\"Ill or well, she would always be plain.", "The grace and harmony of beauty\nare quite wanting in those features.\"", "On the third day I was better; on the fourth, I could speak, move, rise\nin bed, and turn.", "Hannah had brought me some gruel and dry toast, about,\nas I supposed, the dinner-hour.", "I had eaten with relish: the food was\ngood--void of the feverish flavour which had hitherto poisoned what I had\nswallowed.", "When she left me, I felt comparatively strong and revived:\nere long satiety of repose and desire for action stirred me.", "I wished to\nrise; but what could I put on?", "Only my damp and bemired apparel; in\nwhich I had slept on the ground and fallen in the marsh.", "I felt ashamed\nto appear before my benefactors so clad.", "I was spared the humiliation.", "On a chair by the bedside were all my own things, clean and dry.", "My\nblack silk frock hung against the wall.", "The traces of the bog were\nremoved from it; the creases left by the wet smoothed out: it was quite\ndecent.", "My very shoes and stockings were purified and rendered\npresentable.", "There were the means of washing in the room, and a comb and\nbrush to smooth my hair.", "After a weary process, and resting every five\nminutes, I succeeded in dressing myself.", "My clothes hung loose on me;\nfor I was much wasted, but I covered deficiencies with a shawl, and once\nmore, clean and respectable looking--no speck of the dirt, no trace of\nthe disorder I so hated, and which seemed so to degrade me, left--I crept\ndown a stone staircase with the aid of the banisters, to a narrow low\npassage, and found my way presently to the kitchen.", "It was full of the fragrance of new bread and the warmth of a generous\nfire.", "Hannah was baking.", "Prejudices, it is well known, are most\ndifficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened\nor fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.", "Hannah had been cold and stiff, indeed, at the first: latterly she had\nbegun to relent a little; and when she saw me come in tidy and\nwell-dressed, she even smiled.", "\"What, you have got up!\"", "she said.", "\"You are better, then.", "You may sit\nyou down in my chair on the hearthstone, if you will.\"", "She pointed to the rocking-chair: I took it.", "She bustled about,\nexamining me every now and then with the corner of her eye.", "Turning to\nme, as she took some loaves from the oven, she asked bluntly--\n\n\"Did you ever go a-begging afore you came here?\"", "I was indignant for a moment; but remembering that anger was out of the\nquestion, and that I had indeed appeared as a beggar to her, I answered\nquietly, but still not without a certain marked firmness--\n\n\"You are mistaken in supposing me a beggar.", "I am no beggar; any more\nthan yourself or your young ladies.\"", "After a pause she said, \"I dunnut understand that: you've like no house,\nnor no brass, I guess?\"", "\"The want of house or brass (by which I suppose you mean money) does not\nmake a beggar in your sense of the word.\"", "\"Are you book-learned?\"", "she inquired presently.", "\"Yes, very.\"", "\"But you've never been to a boarding-school?\"", "\"I was at a boarding-school eight years.\"", "She opened her eyes wide.", "\"Whatever cannot ye keep yourself for, then?\"", "\"I have kept myself; and, I trust, shall keep myself again.", "What are you\ngoing to do with these gooseberries?\"", "I inquired, as she brought out a\nbasket of the fruit.", "\"Mak' 'em into pies.\"", "\"Give them to me and I'll pick them.\"", "\"Nay; I dunnut want ye to do nought.\"", "\"But I must do something.", "Let me have them.\"", "She consented; and she even brought me a clean towel to spread over my\ndress, \"lest,\" as she said, \"I should mucky it.\"", "\"Ye've not been used to sarvant's wark, I see by your hands,\" she\nremarked.", "\"Happen ye've been a dressmaker?\"", "\"No, you are wrong.", "And now, never mind what I have been: don't trouble\nyour head further about me; but tell me the name of the house where we\nare.\"", "\"Some calls it Marsh End, and some calls it Moor House.\"", "\"And the gentleman who lives here is called Mr. St.", "John?\"", "\"Nay; he doesn't live here: he is only staying a while.", "When he is at\nhome, he is in his own parish at Morton.\"", "\"That village a few miles off?", "\"Aye.\"", "\"And what is he?\"", "\"He is a parson.\"", "I remembered the answer of the old housekeeper at the parsonage, when I\nhad asked to see the clergyman.", "\"This, then, was his father's\nresidence?\"", "\"Aye; old Mr. Rivers lived here, and his father, and grandfather, and\ngurt (great) grandfather afore him.\"", "\"The name, then, of that gentleman, is Mr. St. John Rivers?\"", "\"Aye; St. John is like his kirstened name.\"", "\"And his sisters are called Diana and Mary Rivers?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Their father is dead?\"", "\"Dead three weeks sin' of a stroke.\"", "\"They have no mother?\"", "\"The mistress has been dead this mony a year.\"", "\"Have you lived with the family long?\"", "\"I've lived here thirty year.", "I nursed them all three.\"", "\"That proves you must have been an honest and faithful servant.", "I will\nsay so much for you, though you have had the incivility to call me a\nbeggar.\"", "She again regarded me with a surprised stare.", "\"I believe,\" she said, \"I\nwas quite mista'en in my thoughts of you: but there is so mony cheats\ngoes about, you mun forgie me.\"", "\"And though,\" I continued, rather severely, \"you wished to turn me from\nthe door, on a night when you should not have shut out a dog.\"", "\"Well, it was hard: but what can a body do?", "I thought more o' th'\nchilder nor of mysel: poor things!", "They've like nobody to tak' care on\n'em but me.", "I'm like to look sharpish.\"", "I maintained a grave silence for some minutes.", "\"You munnut think too hardly of me,\" she again remarked.", "\"But I do think hardly of you,\" I said; \"and I'll tell you why--not so\nmuch because you refused to give me shelter, or regarded me as an\nimpostor, as because you just now made it a species of reproach that I\nhad no 'brass' and no house.", "Some of the best people that ever lived\nhave been as destitute as I am; and if you are a Christian, you ought not\nto consider poverty a crime.\"", "\"No more I ought,\" said she: \"Mr. St. John tells me so too; and I see I\nwor wrang--but I've clear a different notion on you now to what I had.", "You look a raight down dacent little crater.\"", "\"That will do--I forgive you now.", "Shake hands.\"", "She put her floury and horny hand into mine; another and heartier smile\nillumined her rough face, and from that moment we were friends.", "Hannah was evidently fond of talking.", "While I picked the fruit, and she\nmade the paste for the pies, she proceeded to give me sundry details\nabout her deceased master and mistress, and \"the childer,\" as she called\nthe young people.", "Old Mr. Rivers, she said, was a plain man enough, but a gentleman, and of\nas ancient a family as could be found.", "Marsh End had belonged to the\nRivers ever since it was a house: and it was, she affirmed, \"aboon two\nhundred year old--for all it looked but a small, humble place, naught to\ncompare wi' Mr. Oliver's grand hall down i' Morton Vale.", "But she could\nremember Bill Oliver's father a journeyman needlemaker; and th' Rivers\nwor gentry i' th' owd days o' th' Henrys, as onybody might see by looking\ninto th' registers i' Morton Church vestry.\"", "Still, she allowed, \"the\nowd maister was like other folk--naught mich out o' t' common way: stark\nmad o' shooting, and farming, and sich like.\"", "The mistress was\ndifferent.", "She was a great reader, and studied a deal; and the \"bairns\"\nhad taken after her.", "There was nothing like them in these parts, nor\never had been; they had liked learning, all three, almost from the time\nthey could speak; and they had always been \"of a mak' of their own.\"", "Mr.\nSt. John, when he grew up, would go to college and be a parson; and the\ngirls, as soon as they left school, would seek places as governesses: for\nthey had told her their father had some years ago lost a great deal of\nmoney by a man he had trusted turning bankrupt; and as he was now not\nrich enough to give them fortunes, they must provide for themselves.", "They\nhad lived very little at home for a long while, and were only come now to\nstay a few weeks on account of their father's death; but they did so like\nMarsh End and Morton, and all these moors and hills about.", "They had been\nin London, and many other grand towns; but they always said there was no\nplace like home; and then they were so agreeable with each other--never\nfell out nor \"threaped.\"", "She did not know where there was such a family\nfor being united.", "Having finished my task of gooseberry picking, I asked where the two\nladies and their brother were now.", "\"Gone over to Morton for a walk; but they would be back in half-an-hour\nto tea.\"", "They returned within the time Hannah had allotted them: they entered by\nthe kitchen door.", "Mr. St. John, when he saw me, merely bowed and passed\nthrough; the two ladies stopped: Mary, in a few words, kindly and calmly\nexpressed the pleasure she felt in seeing me well enough to be able to\ncome down; Diana took my hand: she shook her head at me.", "\"You should have waited for my leave to descend,\" she said.", "\"You still\nlook very pale--and so thin!", "Poor child!--poor girl!\"", "Diana had a voice toned, to my ear, like the cooing of a dove.", "She\npossessed eyes whose gaze I delighted to encounter.", "Her whole face\nseemed to me full of charm.", "Mary's countenance was equally\nintelligent--her features equally pretty; but her expression was more\nreserved, and her manners, though gentle, more distant.", "Diana looked and\nspoke with a certain authority: she had a will, evidently.", "It was my\nnature to feel pleasure in yielding to an authority supported like hers,\nand to bend, where my conscience and self-respect permitted, to an active\nwill.", "\"And what business have you here?\"", "she continued.", "\"It is not your place.", "Mary and I sit in the kitchen sometimes, because at home we like to be\nfree, even to license--but you are a visitor, and must go into the\nparlour.\"", "\"I am very well here.\"", "\"Not at all, with Hannah bustling about and covering you with flour.\"", "\"Besides, the fire is too hot for you,\" interposed Mary.", "\"To be sure,\" added her sister.", "\"Come, you must be obedient.\"", "And still\nholding my hand she made me rise, and led me into the inner room.", "\"Sit there,\" she said, placing me on the sofa, \"while we take our things\noff and get the tea ready; it is another privilege we exercise in our\nlittle moorland home--to prepare our own meals when we are so inclined,\nor when Hannah is baking, brewing, washing, or ironing.\"", "She closed the door, leaving me solus with Mr. St. John, who sat\nopposite, a book or newspaper in his hand.", "I examined first, the\nparlour, and then its occupant.", "The parlour was rather a small room, very plainly furnished, yet\ncomfortable, because clean and neat.", "The old-fashioned chairs were very\nbright, and the walnut-wood table was like a looking-glass.", "A few\nstrange, antique portraits of the men and women of other days decorated\nthe stained walls; a cupboard with glass doors contained some books and\nan ancient set of china.", "There was no superfluous ornament in the\nroom--not one modern piece of furniture, save a brace of workboxes and a\nlady's desk in rosewood, which stood on a side-table:\neverything--including the carpet and curtains--looked at once well worn\nand well saved.", "Mr. St. John--sitting as still as one of the dusty pictures on the walls,\nkeeping his eyes fixed on the page he perused, and his lips mutely\nsealed--was easy enough to examine.", "Had he been a statue instead of a\nman, he could not have been easier.", "He was young--perhaps from twenty-\neight to thirty--tall, slender; his face riveted the eye; it was like a\nGreek face, very pure in outline: quite a straight, classic nose; quite\nan Athenian mouth and chin.", "It is seldom, indeed, an English face comes\nso near the antique models as did his.", "He might well be a little shocked\nat the irregularity of my lineaments, his own being so harmonious.", "His\neyes were large and blue, with brown lashes; his high forehead,\ncolourless as ivory, was partially streaked over by careless locks of\nfair hair.", "This is a gentle delineation, is it not, reader?", "Yet he whom it\ndescribes scarcely impressed one with the idea of a gentle, a yielding,\nan impressible, or even of a placid nature.", "Quiescent as he now sat,\nthere was something about his nostril, his mouth, his brow, which, to my\nperceptions, indicated elements within either restless, or hard, or\neager.", "He did not speak to me one word, nor even direct to me one\nglance, till his sisters returned.", "Diana, as she passed in and out, in\nthe course of preparing tea, brought me a little cake, baked on the top\nof the oven.", "\"Eat that now,\" she said: \"you must be hungry.", "Hannah says you have had\nnothing but some gruel since breakfast.\"", "I did not refuse it, for my appetite was awakened and keen.", "Mr. Rivers\nnow closed his book, approached the table, and, as he took a seat, fixed\nhis blue pictorial-looking eyes full on me.", "There was an unceremonious\ndirectness, a searching, decided steadfastness in his gaze now, which\ntold that intention, and not diffidence, had hitherto kept it averted\nfrom the stranger.", "\"You are very hungry,\" he said.", "\"I am, sir.\"", "It is my way--it always was my way, by instinct--ever to\nmeet the brief with brevity, the direct with plainness.", "\"It is well for you that a low fever has forced you to abstain for the\nlast three days: there would have been danger in yielding to the cravings\nof your appetite at first.", "Now you may eat, though still not\nimmoderately.\"", "\"I trust I shall not eat long at your expense, sir,\" was my very clumsily-\ncontrived, unpolished answer.", "\"No,\" he said coolly: \"when you have indicated to us the residence of\nyour friends, we can write to them, and you may be restored to home.\"", "\"That, I must plainly tell you, is out of my power to do; being\nabsolutely without home and friends.\"", "The three looked at me, but not distrustfully; I felt there was no\nsuspicion in their glances: there was more of curiosity.", "I speak\nparticularly of the young ladies.", "St. John's eyes, though clear enough\nin a literal sense, in a figurative one were difficult to fathom.", "He\nseemed to use them rather as instruments to search other people's\nthoughts, than as agents to reveal his own: the which combination of\nkeenness and reserve was considerably more calculated to embarrass than\nto encourage.", "\"Do you mean to say,\" he asked, \"that you are completely isolated from\nevery connection?\"", "\"I do.", "Not a tie links me to any living thing: not a claim do I possess\nto admittance under any roof in England.\"", "\"A most singular position at your age!\"", "Here I saw his glance directed to my hands, which were folded on the\ntable before me.", "I wondered what he sought there: his words soon\nexplained the quest.", "\"You have never been married?", "You are a spinster?\"", "Diana laughed.", "\"Why, she can't be above seventeen or eighteen years old,\nSt. John,\" said she.", "\"I am near nineteen: but I am not married.", "No.\"", "I felt a burning glow mount to my face; for bitter and agitating\nrecollections were awakened by the allusion to marriage.", "They all saw\nthe embarrassment and the emotion.", "Diana and Mary relieved me by turning\ntheir eyes elsewhere than to my crimsoned visage; but the colder and\nsterner brother continued to gaze, till the trouble he had excited forced\nout tears as well as colour.", "\"Where did you last reside?\"", "he now asked.", "\"You are too inquisitive, St. John,\" murmured Mary in a low voice; but he\nleaned over the table and required an answer by a second firm and\npiercing look.", "\"The name of the place where, and of the person with whom I lived, is my\nsecret,\" I replied concisely.", "\"Which, if you like, you have, in my opinion, a right to keep, both from\nSt. John and every other questioner,\" remarked Diana.", "\"Yet if I know nothing about you or your history, I cannot help you,\" he\nsaid.", "\"And you need help, do you not?\"", "\"I need it, and I seek it so far, sir, that some true philanthropist will\nput me in the way of getting work which I can do, and the remuneration\nfor which will keep me, if but in the barest necessaries of life.\"", "\"I know not whether I am a true philanthropist; yet I am willing to aid\nyou to the utmost of my power in a purpose so honest.", "First, then, tell\nme what you have been accustomed to do, and what you _can_ do.\"", "I had now swallowed my tea.", "I was mightily refreshed by the beverage; as\nmuch so as a giant with wine: it gave new tone to my unstrung nerves, and\nenabled me to address this penetrating young judge steadily.", "\"Mr. Rivers,\" I said, turning to him, and looking at him, as he looked at\nme, openly and without diffidence, \"you and your sisters have done me a\ngreat service--the greatest man can do his fellow-being; you have rescued\nme, by your noble hospitality, from death.", "This benefit conferred gives\nyou an unlimited claim on my gratitude, and a claim, to a certain extent,\non my confidence.", "I will tell you as much of the history of the wanderer\nyou have harboured, as I can tell without compromising my own peace of\nmind--my own security, moral and physical, and that of others.", "\"I am an orphan, the daughter of a clergyman.", "My parents died before I\ncould know them.", "I was brought up a dependant; educated in a charitable\ninstitution.", "I will even tell you the name of the establishment, where I\npassed six years as a pupil, and two as a teacher--Lowood Orphan Asylum,\n---shire: you will have heard of it, Mr.", "Rivers?--the Rev.", "Robert\nBrocklehurst is the treasurer.\"", "\"I have heard of Mr. Brocklehurst, and I have seen the school.\"", "\"I left Lowood nearly a year since to become a private governess.", "I\nobtained a good situation, and was happy.", "This place I was obliged to\nleave four days before I came here.", "The reason of my departure I cannot\nand ought not to explain: it would be useless, dangerous, and would sound\nincredible.", "No blame attached to me: I am as free from culpability as\nany one of you three.", "Miserable I am, and must be for a time; for the\ncatastrophe which drove me from a house I had found a paradise was of a\nstrange and direful nature.", "I observed but two points in planning my\ndeparture--speed, secrecy: to secure these, I had to leave behind me\neverything I possessed except a small parcel; which, in my hurry and\ntrouble of mind, I forgot to take out of the coach that brought me to\nWhitcross.", "To this neighbourhood, then, I came, quite destitute.", "I\nslept two nights in the open air, and wandered about two days without\ncrossing a threshold: but twice in that space of time did I taste food;\nand it was when brought by hunger, exhaustion, and despair almost to the\nlast gasp, that you, Mr. Rivers, forbade me to perish of want at your\ndoor, and took me under the shelter of your roof.", "I know all your\nsisters have done for me since--for I have not been insensible during my\nseeming torpor--and I owe to their spontaneous, genuine, genial\ncompassion as large a debt as to your evangelical charity.\"", "\"Don't make her talk any more now, St. John,\" said Diana, as I paused;\n\"she is evidently not yet fit for excitement.", "Come to the sofa and sit\ndown now, Miss Elliott.\"", "I gave an involuntary half start at hearing the _alias_: I had forgotten\nmy new name.", "Mr. Rivers, whom nothing seemed to escape, noticed it at\nonce.", "\"You said your name was Jane Elliott?\"", "he observed.", "\"I did say so; and it is the name by which I think it expedient to be\ncalled at present, but it is not my real name, and when I hear it, it\nsounds strange to me.\"", "\"Your real name you will not give?\"", "\"No: I fear discovery above all things; and whatever disclosure would\nlead to it, I avoid.\"", "\"You are quite right, I am sure,\" said Diana.", "\"Now do, brother, let her\nbe at peace a while.\"", "But when St. John had mused a few moments he recommenced as imperturbably\nand with as much acumen as ever.", "\"You would not like to be long dependent on our hospitality--you would\nwish, I see, to dispense as soon as may be with my sisters' compassion,\nand, above all, with my _charity_ (I am quite sensible of the distinction\ndrawn, nor do I resent it--it is just): you desire to be independent of\nus?\"", "\"I do: I have already said so.", "Show me how to work, or how to seek work:\nthat is all I now ask; then let me go, if it be but to the meanest\ncottage; but till then, allow me to stay here: I dread another essay of\nthe horrors of homeless destitution.\"", "\"Indeed you _shall_ stay here,\" said Diana, putting her white hand on my\nhead.", "\"You _shall_,\" repeated Mary, in the tone of undemonstrative\nsincerity which seemed natural to her.", "\"My sisters, you see, have a pleasure in keeping you,\" said Mr. St. John,\n\"as they would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half-frozen\nbird, some wintry wind might have driven through their casement.", "I feel\nmore inclination to put you in the way of keeping yourself, and shall\nendeavour to do so; but observe, my sphere is narrow.", "I am but the\nincumbent of a poor country parish: my aid must be of the humblest sort.", "And if you are inclined to despise the day of small things, seek some\nmore efficient succour than such as I can offer.\"", "\"She has already said that she is willing to do anything honest she can\ndo,\" answered Diana for me; \"and you know, St. John, she has no choice of\nhelpers: she is forced to put up with such crusty people as you.\"", "\"I will be a dressmaker; I will be a plain-workwoman; I will be a\nservant, a nurse-girl, if I can be no better,\" I answered.", "\"Right,\" said Mr. St. John, quite coolly.", "\"If such is your spirit, I\npromise to aid you, in my own time and way.\"", "He now resumed the book with which he had been occupied before tea.", "I\nsoon withdrew, for I had talked as much, and sat up as long, as my\npresent strength would permit." ]

[ "At this moment I\ndiscover that I forgot to take my parcel out of the pocket of the coach,\nwhere I had placed it for safety; there it remains, there it must remain;\nand now, I am absolutely destitute.", "I touched the heath: it was dry, and yet warm with the heat of the summer\nday.", "I again nestled to the breast of the hill; and ere long in\nsleep forgot sorrow.", "The wish\nto have some strength and some vigour returned to me as soon as I was\namongst my fellow-beings.", "My eye still roved over the sullen swell and along the moor-edge,\nvanishing amidst the wildest scenery, when at one dim point, far in among\nthe marshes and the ridges, a light sprang up.", "A strange place was this humble kitchen for such occupants!", "The clock struck ten.", "Give it me, and a piece of\nbread.\"", "Poor child!--poor girl!\"", "To this neighbourhood, then, I came, quite destitute." ]

[ "I thought more o' th'\nchilder nor of mysel: poor things!", "I folded my shawl double, and spread it over me\nfor a coverlet; a low, mossy swell was my pillow.", "The two\nladies, their brother, Mr. St. John, the old servant, were all gazing at\nme.", "We don't speak German, and we\ncannot read it without a dictionary to help us.\"", "Diana laughed.", "Come to the sofa and sit\ndown now, Miss Elliott.\"", "But next day, Want came to me pale and bare.", "\"Is she ill, or only famished?\"", "And now, never mind what I have been: don't trouble\nyour head further about me; but tell me the name of the house where we\nare.\"", "It isn't likely.\"" ]

[ "This was the climax.", "A pang of exquisite suffering--a throe of true\ndespair--rent and heaved my heart.", "Worn out, indeed, I was; not another\nstep could I stir.", "I sank on the wet doorstep: I groaned--I wrung my\nhands--I wept in utter anguish.", "Oh, this spectre of death!", "Oh, this\nlast hour, approaching in such horror!", "Alas, this isolation--this\nbanishment from my kind!", "Not only the anchor of hope, but the footing of\nfortitude was gone--at least for a moment; but the last I soon\nendeavoured to regain.", "\"I can but die,\" I said, \"and I believe in God.", "Let me try to wait His\nwill in silence.\"", "These words I not only thought, but uttered; and thrusting back all my\nmisery into my heart, I made an effort to compel it to remain there--dumb\nand still." ]

[ "\n\nTwo days are passed.", "It is a summer evening; the coachman has set me\ndown at a place called Whitcross; he could take me no farther for the sum\nI had given, and I was not possessed of another shilling in the world.", "The coach is a mile off by this time; I am alone.", "At this moment I\ndiscover that I forgot to take my parcel out of the pocket of the coach,\nwhere I had placed it for safety; there it remains, there it must remain;\nand now, I am absolutely destitute.", "Whitcross is no town, nor even a hamlet; it is but a stone pillar set up\nwhere four roads meet: whitewashed, I suppose, to be more obvious at a\ndistance and in darkness.", "Four arms spring from its summit: the nearest\ntown to which these point is, according to the inscription, distant ten\nmiles; the farthest, above twenty.", "From the well-known names of these\ntowns I learn in what county I have lighted; a north-midland shire, dusk\nwith moorland, ridged with mountain: this I see.", "There are great moors\nbehind and on each hand of me; there are waves of mountains far beyond\nthat deep valley at my feet.", "The population here must be thin, and I see\nno passengers on these roads: they stretch out east, west, north, and\nsouth--white, broad, lonely; they are all cut in the moor, and the\nheather grows deep and wild to their very verge.", "Yet a chance traveller\nmight pass by; and I wish no eye to see me now: strangers would wonder\nwhat I am doing, lingering here at the sign-post, evidently objectless\nand lost.", "\"My sisters, you see, have a pleasure in keeping you,\" said Mr. St. John,\n\"as they would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half-frozen\nbird, some wintry wind might have driven through their casement.", "I feel\nmore inclination to put you in the way of keeping yourself, and shall\nendeavour to do so; but observe, my sphere is narrow.", "I am but the\nincumbent of a poor country parish: my aid must be of the humblest sort.", "And if you are inclined to despise the day of small things, seek some\nmore efficient succour than such as I can offer.\"", "\"She has already said that she is willing to do anything honest she can\ndo,\" answered Diana for me; \"and you know, St. John, she has no choice of\nhelpers: she is forced to put up with such crusty people as you.\"", "\"I will be a dressmaker; I will be a plain-workwoman; I will be a\nservant, a nurse-girl, if I can be no better,\" I answered.", "\"Right,\" said Mr. St. John, quite coolly.", "\"If such is your spirit, I\npromise to aid you, in my own time and way.\"", "He now resumed the book with which he had been occupied before tea.", "I\nsoon withdrew, for I had talked as much, and sat up as long, as my\npresent strength would permit." ]

[ "\n\nThe more I knew of the inmates of Moor House, the better I liked them.", "In\na few days I had so far recovered my health that I could sit up all day,\nand walk out sometimes.", "I could join with Diana and Mary in all their\noccupations; converse with them as much as they wished, and aid them when\nand where they would allow me.", "There was a reviving pleasure in this\nintercourse, of a kind now tasted by me for the first time--the pleasure\narising from perfect congeniality of tastes, sentiments, and principles.", "I liked to read what they liked to read: what they enjoyed, delighted me;\nwhat they approved, I reverenced.", "They loved their sequestered home.", "I,\ntoo, in the grey, small, antique structure, with its low roof, its\nlatticed casements, its mouldering walls, its avenue of aged firs--all\ngrown aslant under the stress of mountain winds; its garden, dark with\nyew and holly--and where no flowers but of the hardiest species would\nbloom--found a charm both potent and permanent.", "They clung to the purple\nmoors behind and around their dwelling--to the hollow vale into which the\npebbly bridle-path leading from their gate descended, and which wound\nbetween fern-banks first, and then amongst a few of the wildest little\npasture-fields that ever bordered a wilderness of heath, or gave\nsustenance to a flock of grey moorland sheep, with their little mossy-\nfaced lambs:--they clung to this scene, I say, with a perfect enthusiasm\nof attachment.", "I could comprehend the feeling, and share both its\nstrength and truth.", "I saw the fascination of the locality.", "I felt the\nconsecration of its loneliness: my eye feasted on the outline of swell\nand sweep--on the wild colouring communicated to ridge and dell by moss,\nby heath-bell, by flower-sprinkled turf, by brilliant bracken, and mellow\ngranite crag.", "These details were just to me what they were to them--so\nmany pure and sweet sources of pleasure.", "The strong blast and the soft\nbreeze; the rough and the halcyon day; the hours of sunrise and sunset;\nthe moonlight and the clouded night, developed for me, in these regions,\nthe same attraction as for them--wound round my faculties the same spell\nthat entranced theirs.", "Indoors we agreed equally well.", "They were both more accomplished and\nbetter read than I was; but with eagerness I followed in the path of\nknowledge they had trodden before me.", "I devoured the books they lent me:\nthen it was full satisfaction to discuss with them in the evening what I\nhad perused during the day.", "Thought fitted thought; opinion met opinion:\nwe coincided, in short, perfectly.", "If in our trio there was a superior and a leader, it was Diana.", "Physically, she far excelled me: she was handsome; she was vigorous.", "In\nher animal spirits there was an affluence of life and certainty of flow,\nsuch as excited my wonder, while it baffled my comprehension.", "I could\ntalk a while when the evening commenced, but the first gush of vivacity\nand fluency gone, I was fain to sit on a stool at Diana's feet, to rest\nmy head on her knee, and listen alternately to her and Mary, while they\nsounded thoroughly the topic on which I had but touched.", "Diana offered\nto teach me German.", "I liked to learn of her: I saw the part of\ninstructress pleased and suited her; that of scholar pleased and suited\nme no less.", "Our natures dovetailed: mutual affection--of the strongest\nkind--was the result.", "They discovered I could draw: their pencils and\ncolour-boxes were immediately at my service.", "My skill, greater in this\none point than theirs, surprised and charmed them.", "Mary would sit and\nwatch me by the hour together: then she would take lessons; and a docile,\nintelligent, assiduous pupil she made.", "Thus occupied, and mutually\nentertained, days passed like hours, and weeks like days.", "As to Mr. St John, the intimacy which had arisen so naturally and rapidly\nbetween me and his sisters did not extend to him.", "One reason of the\ndistance yet observed between us was, that he was comparatively seldom at\nhome: a large proportion of his time appeared devoted to visiting the\nsick and poor among the scattered population of his parish.", "No weather seemed to hinder him in these pastoral excursions: rain or\nfair, he would, when his hours of morning study were over, take his hat,\nand, followed by his father's old pointer, Carlo, go out on his mission\nof love or duty--I scarcely know in which light he regarded it.", "Sometimes, when the day was very unfavourable, his sisters would\nexpostulate.", "He would then say, with a peculiar smile, more solemn than\ncheerful--\n\n\"And if I let a gust of wind or a sprinkling of rain turn me aside from\nthese easy tasks, what preparation would such sloth be for the future I\npropose to myself?\"", "Diana and Mary's general answer to this question was a sigh, and some\nminutes of apparently mournful meditation.", "But besides his frequent absences, there was another barrier to\nfriendship with him: he seemed of a reserved, an abstracted, and even of\na brooding nature.", "Zealous in his ministerial labours, blameless in his\nlife and habits, he yet did not appear to enjoy that mental serenity,\nthat inward content, which should be the reward of every sincere\nChristian and practical philanthropist.", "Often, of an evening, when he\nsat at the window, his desk and papers before him, he would cease reading\nor writing, rest his chin on his hand, and deliver himself up to I know\nnot what course of thought; but that it was perturbed and exciting might\nbe seen in the frequent flash and changeful dilation of his eye.", "I think, moreover, that Nature was not to him that treasury of delight it\nwas to his sisters.", "He expressed once, and but once in my hearing, a\nstrong sense of the rugged charm of the hills, and an inborn affection\nfor the dark roof and hoary walls he called his home; but there was more\nof gloom than pleasure in the tone and words in which the sentiment was\nmanifested; and never did he seem to roam the moors for the sake of their\nsoothing silence--never seek out or dwell upon the thousand peaceful\ndelights they could yield.", "Incommunicative as he was, some time elapsed before I had an opportunity\nof gauging his mind.", "I first got an idea of its calibre when I heard him\npreach in his own church at Morton.", "I wish I could describe that sermon:\nbut it is past my power.", "I cannot even render faithfully the effect it\nproduced on me.", "It began calm--and indeed, as far as delivery and pitch of voice went, it\nwas calm to the end: an earnestly felt, yet strictly restrained zeal\nbreathed soon in the distinct accents, and prompted the nervous language.", "This grew to force--compressed, condensed, controlled.", "The heart was\nthrilled, the mind astonished, by the power of the preacher: neither were\nsoftened.", "Throughout there was a strange bitterness; an absence of\nconsolatory gentleness; stern allusions to Calvinistic\ndoctrines--election, predestination, reprobation--were frequent; and each\nreference to these points sounded like a sentence pronounced for doom.", "When he had done, instead of feeling better, calmer, more enlightened by\nhis discourse, I experienced an inexpressible sadness; for it seemed to\nme--I know not whether equally so to others--that the eloquence to which\nI had been listening had sprung from a depth where lay turbid dregs of\ndisappointment--where moved troubling impulses of insatiate yearnings and\ndisquieting aspirations.", "I was sure St. John Rivers--pure-lived,\nconscientious, zealous as he was--had not yet found that peace of God\nwhich passeth all understanding: he had no more found it, I thought, than\nhad I with my concealed and racking regrets for my broken idol and lost\nelysium--regrets to which I have latterly avoided referring, but which\npossessed me and tyrannised over me ruthlessly.", "Meantime a month was gone.", "Diana and Mary were soon to leave Moor House,\nand return to the far different life and scene which awaited them, as\ngovernesses in a large, fashionable, south-of-England city, where each\nheld a situation in families by whose wealthy and haughty members they\nwere regarded only as humble dependants, and who neither knew nor sought\nout their innate excellences, and appreciated only their acquired\naccomplishments as they appreciated the skill of their cook or the taste\nof their waiting-woman.", "Mr. St. John had said nothing to me yet about\nthe employment he had promised to obtain for me; yet it became urgent\nthat I should have a vocation of some kind.", "One morning, being left\nalone with him a few minutes in the parlour, I ventured to approach the\nwindow-recess--which his table, chair, and desk consecrated as a kind of\nstudy--and I was going to speak, though not very well knowing in what\nwords to frame my inquiry--for it is at all times difficult to break the\nice of reserve glassing over such natures as his--when he saved me the\ntrouble by being the first to commence a dialogue.", "Looking up as I drew near--\"You have a question to ask of me?\"", "he said.", "\"Yes; I wish to know whether you have heard of any service I can offer\nmyself to undertake?\"", "\"I found or devised something for you three weeks ago; but as you seemed\nboth useful and happy here--as my sisters had evidently become attached\nto you, and your society gave them unusual pleasure--I deemed it\ninexpedient to break in on your mutual comfort till their approaching\ndeparture from Marsh End should render yours necessary.\"", "\"And they will go in three days now?\"", "I said.", "\"Yes; and when they go, I shall return to the parsonage at Morton: Hannah\nwill accompany me; and this old house will be shut up.\"", "I waited a few moments, expecting he would go on with the subject first\nbroached: but he seemed to have entered another train of reflection: his\nlook denoted abstraction from me and my business.", "I was obliged to\nrecall him to a theme which was of necessity one of close and anxious\ninterest to me.", "\"What is the employment you had in view, Mr. Rivers?", "I hope this delay\nwill not have increased the difficulty of securing it.\"", "\"Oh, no; since it is an employment which depends only on me to give, and\nyou to accept.\"", "He again paused: there seemed a reluctance to continue.", "I grew\nimpatient: a restless movement or two, and an eager and exacting glance\nfastened on his face, conveyed the feeling to him as effectually as words\ncould have done, and with less trouble.", "\"You need be in no hurry to hear,\" he said: \"let me frankly tell you, I\nhave nothing eligible or profitable to suggest.", "Before I explain,\nrecall, if you please, my notice, clearly given, that if I helped you, it\nmust be as the blind man would help the lame.", "I am poor; for I find\nthat, when I have paid my father's debts, all the patrimony remaining to\nme will be this crumbling grange, the row of scathed firs behind, and the\npatch of moorish soil, with the yew-trees and holly-bushes in front.", "I\nam obscure: Rivers is an old name; but of the three sole descendants of\nthe race, two earn the dependant's crust among strangers, and the third\nconsiders himself an alien from his native country--not only for life,\nbut in death.", "Yes, and deems, and is bound to deem, himself honoured by\nthe lot, and aspires but after the day when the cross of separation from\nfleshly ties shall be laid on his shoulders, and when the Head of that\nchurch-militant of whose humblest members he is one, shall give the word,\n'Rise, follow Me!'\"", "St. John said these words as he pronounced his sermons, with a quiet,\ndeep voice; with an unflushed cheek, and a coruscating radiance of\nglance.", "He resumed--\n\n\"And since I am myself poor and obscure, I can offer you but a service of\npoverty and obscurity.", "_You_ may even think it degrading--for I see now\nyour habits have been what the world calls refined: your tastes lean to\nthe ideal, and your society has at least been amongst the educated; but\n_I_ consider that no service degrades which can better our race.", "I hold\nthat the more arid and unreclaimed the soil where the Christian\nlabourer's task of tillage is appointed him--the scantier the meed his\ntoil brings--the higher the honour.", "His, under such circumstances, is\nthe destiny of the pioneer; and the first pioneers of the Gospel were the\nApostles--their captain was Jesus, the Redeemer, Himself.\"", "\"Well?\"", "I said, as he again paused--\"proceed.\"", "He looked at me before he proceeded: indeed, he seemed leisurely to read\nmy face, as if its features and lines were characters on a page.", "The\nconclusions drawn from this scrutiny he partially expressed in his\nsucceeding observations.", "\"I believe you will accept the post I offer you,\" said he, \"and hold it\nfor a while: not permanently, though: any more than I could permanently\nkeep the narrow and narrowing--the tranquil, hidden office of English\ncountry incumbent; for in your nature is an alloy as detrimental to\nrepose as that in mine, though of a different kind.\"", "\"Do explain,\" I urged, when he halted once more.", "\"I will; and you shall hear how poor the proposal is,--how trivial--how\ncramping.", "I shall not stay long at Morton, now that my father is dead,\nand that I am my own master.", "I shall leave the place probably in the\ncourse of a twelve-month; but while I do stay, I will exert myself to the\nutmost for its improvement.", "Morton, when I came to it two years ago, had\nno school: the children of the poor were excluded from every hope of\nprogress.", "I established one for boys: I mean now to open a second school\nfor girls.", "I have hired a building for the purpose, with a cottage of\ntwo rooms attached to it for the mistress's house.", "Her salary will be\nthirty pounds a year: her house is already furnished, very simply, but\nsufficiently, by the kindness of a lady, Miss Oliver; the only daughter\nof the sole rich man in my parish--Mr. Oliver, the proprietor of a needle-\nfactory and iron-foundry in the valley.", "The same lady pays for the\neducation and clothing of an orphan from the workhouse, on condition that\nshe shall aid the mistress in such menial offices connected with her own\nhouse and the school as her occupation of teaching will prevent her\nhaving time to discharge in person.", "Will you be this mistress?\"", "He put the question rather hurriedly; he seemed half to expect an\nindignant, or at least a disdainful rejection of the offer: not knowing\nall my thoughts and feelings, though guessing some, he could not tell in\nwhat light the lot would appear to me.", "In truth it was humble--but then\nit was sheltered, and I wanted a safe asylum: it was plodding--but then,\ncompared with that of a governess in a rich house, it was independent;\nand the fear of servitude with strangers entered my soul like iron: it\nwas not ignoble--not unworthy--not mentally degrading, I made my\ndecision.", "\"I thank you for the proposal, Mr. Rivers, and I accept it with all my\nheart.\"", "\"But you comprehend me?\"", "he said.", "\"It is a village school: your scholars\nwill be only poor girls--cottagers' children--at the best, farmers'\ndaughters.", "Knitting, sewing, reading, writing, ciphering, will be all\nyou will have to teach.", "What will you do with your accomplishments?", "What, with the largest portion of your mind--sentiments--tastes?\"", "\"Save them till they are wanted.", "They will keep.\"", "\"You know what you undertake, then?\"", "\"I do.\"", "He now smiled: and not a bitter or a sad smile, but one well pleased and\ndeeply gratified.", "\"And when will you commence the exercise of your function?\"", "\"I will go to my house to-morrow, and open the school, if you like, next\nweek.\"", "\"Very well: so be it.\"", "He rose and walked through the room.", "Standing still, he again looked at\nme.", "He shook his head.", "\"What do you disapprove of, Mr.", "Rivers?\"", "I asked.", "\"You will not stay at Morton long: no, no!\"", "\"Why?", "What is your reason for saying so?\"", "\"I read it in your eye; it is not of that description which promises the\nmaintenance of an even tenor in life.\"", "\"I am not ambitious.\"", "He started at the word \"ambitious.\"", "He repeated, \"No.", "What made you\nthink of ambition?", "Who is ambitious?", "I know I am: but how did you find\nit out?\"", "\"I was speaking of myself.\"", "\"Well, if you are not ambitious, you are--\" He paused.", "\"What?\"", "\"I was going to say, impassioned: but perhaps you would have\nmisunderstood the word, and been displeased.", "I mean, that human\naffections and sympathies have a most powerful hold on you.", "I am sure\nyou cannot long be content to pass your leisure in solitude, and to\ndevote your working hours to a monotonous labour wholly void of stimulus:\nany more than I can be content,\" he added, with emphasis, \"to live here\nburied in morass, pent in with mountains--my nature, that God gave me,\ncontravened; my faculties, heaven-bestowed, paralysed--made useless.", "You\nhear now how I contradict myself.", "I, who preached contentment with a\nhumble lot, and justified the vocation even of hewers of wood and drawers\nof water in God's service--I, His ordained minister, almost rave in my\nrestlessness.", "Well, propensities and principles must be reconciled by\nsome means.\"", "He left the room.", "In this brief hour I had learnt more of him than in\nthe whole previous month: yet still he puzzled me.", "Diana and Mary Rivers became more sad and silent as the day approached\nfor leaving their brother and their home.", "They both tried to appear as\nusual; but the sorrow they had to struggle against was one that could not\nbe entirely conquered or concealed.", "Diana intimated that this would be a\ndifferent parting from any they had ever yet known.", "It would probably,\nas far as St. John was concerned, be a parting for years: it might be a\nparting for life.", "\"He will sacrifice all to his long-framed resolves,\" she said: \"natural\naffection and feelings more potent still.", "St. John looks quiet, Jane;\nbut he hides a fever in his vitals.", "You would think him gentle, yet in\nsome things he is inexorable as death; and the worst of it is, my\nconscience will hardly permit me to dissuade him from his severe\ndecision: certainly, I cannot for a moment blame him for it.", "It is\nright, noble, Christian: yet it breaks my heart!\"", "And the tears gushed\nto her fine eyes.", "Mary bent her head low over her work.", "\"We are now without father: we shall soon be without home and brother,\"\nshe murmured.", "At that moment a little accident supervened, which seemed decreed by fate\npurposely to prove the truth of the adage, that \"misfortunes never come\nsingly,\" and to add to their distresses the vexing one of the slip\nbetween the cup and the lip.", "St. John passed the window reading a\nletter.", "He entered.", "\"Our uncle John is dead,\" said he.", "Both the sisters seemed struck: not shocked or appalled; the tidings\nappeared in their eyes rather momentous than afflicting.", "\"Dead?\"", "repeated Diana.", "\"Yes.\"", "She riveted a searching gaze on her brother's face.", "\"And what then?\"", "she\ndemanded, in a low voice.", "\"What then, Die?\"", "he replied, maintaining a marble immobility of feature.", "\"What then?", "Why--nothing.", "Read.\"", "He threw the letter into her lap.", "She glanced over it, and handed it to\nMary.", "Mary perused it in silence, and returned it to her brother.", "All\nthree looked at each other, and all three smiled--a dreary, pensive smile\nenough.", "\"Amen!", "We can yet live,\" said Diana at last.", "\"At any rate, it makes us no worse off than we were before,\" remarked\nMary.", "\"Only it forces rather strongly on the mind the picture of what _might\nhave been_,\" said Mr. Rivers, \"and contrasts it somewhat too vividly with\nwhat _is_.\"", "He folded the letter, locked it in his desk, and again went out.", "For some minutes no one spoke.", "Diana then turned to me.", "\"Jane, you will wonder at us and our mysteries,\" she said, \"and think us\nhard-hearted beings not to be more moved at the death of so near a\nrelation as an uncle; but we have never seen him or known him.", "He was my\nmother's brother.", "My father and he quarrelled long ago.", "It was by his\nadvice that my father risked most of his property in the speculation that\nruined him.", "Mutual recrimination passed between them: they parted in\nanger, and were never reconciled.", "My uncle engaged afterwards in more\nprosperous undertakings: it appears he realised a fortune of twenty\nthousand pounds.", "He was never married, and had no near kindred but\nourselves and one other person, not more closely related than we.", "My\nfather always cherished the idea that he would atone for his error by\nleaving his possessions to us; that letter informs us that he has\nbequeathed every penny to the other relation, with the exception of\nthirty guineas, to be divided between St. John, Diana, and Mary Rivers,\nfor the purchase of three mourning rings.", "He had a right, of course, to\ndo as he pleased: and yet a momentary damp is cast on the spirits by the\nreceipt of such news.", "Mary and I would have esteemed ourselves rich with\na thousand pounds each; and to St. John such a sum would have been\nvaluable, for the good it would have enabled him to do.\"", "This explanation given, the subject was dropped, and no further reference\nmade to it by either Mr. Rivers or his sisters.", "The next day I left\nMarsh End for Morton.", "The day after, Diana and Mary quitted it for\ndistant B-.", "In a week, Mr. Rivers and Hannah repaired to the parsonage:\nand so the old grange was abandoned." ]

[ "I could comprehend the feeling, and share both its\nstrength and truth.", "I devoured the books they lent me:\nthen it was full satisfaction to discuss with them in the evening what I\nhad perused during the day.", "Thought fitted thought; opinion met opinion:\nwe coincided, in short, perfectly.", "If in our trio there was a superior and a leader, it was Diana.", "He resumed--\n\n\"And since I am myself poor and obscure, I can offer you but a service of\npoverty and obscurity.", "I have hired a building for the purpose, with a cottage of\ntwo rooms attached to it for the mistress's house.", "\"Very well: so be it.\"", "He started at the word \"ambitious.\"", "Diana intimated that this would be a\ndifferent parting from any they had ever yet known.", "My uncle engaged afterwards in more\nprosperous undertakings: it appears he realised a fortune of twenty\nthousand pounds." ]

[ "It would probably,\nas far as St. John was concerned, be a parting for years: it might be a\nparting for life.", "I could join with Diana and Mary in all their\noccupations; converse with them as much as they wished, and aid them when\nand where they would allow me.", "\"At any rate, it makes us no worse off than we were before,\" remarked\nMary.", "Why--nothing.", "Knitting, sewing, reading, writing, ciphering, will be all\nyou will have to teach.", "It was by his\nadvice that my father risked most of his property in the speculation that\nruined him.", "\"Dead?\"", "It is\nright, noble, Christian: yet it breaks my heart!\"", "Before I explain,\nrecall, if you please, my notice, clearly given, that if I helped you, it\nmust be as the blind man would help the lame.", "I waited a few moments, expecting he would go on with the subject first\nbroached: but he seemed to have entered another train of reflection: his\nlook denoted abstraction from me and my business." ]

[ "Her salary will be\nthirty pounds a year: her house is already furnished, very simply, but\nsufficiently, by the kindness of a lady, Miss Oliver; the only daughter\nof the sole rich man in my parish--Mr. Oliver, the proprietor of a needle-\nfactory and iron-foundry in the valley.", "The same lady pays for the\neducation and clothing of an orphan from the workhouse, on condition that\nshe shall aid the mistress in such menial offices connected with her own\nhouse and the school as her occupation of teaching will prevent her\nhaving time to discharge in person.", "Will you be this mistress?\"", "He put the question rather hurriedly; he seemed half to expect an\nindignant, or at least a disdainful rejection of the offer: not knowing\nall my thoughts and feelings, though guessing some, he could not tell in\nwhat light the lot would appear to me.", "In truth it was humble--but then\nit was sheltered, and I wanted a safe asylum: it was plodding--but then,\ncompared with that of a governess in a rich house, it was independent;\nand the fear of servitude with strangers entered my soul like iron: it\nwas not ignoble--not unworthy--not mentally degrading, I made my\ndecision.", "\"I thank you for the proposal, Mr. Rivers, and I accept it with all my\nheart.\"", "\"But you comprehend me?\"", "he said.", "\"It is a village school: your scholars\nwill be only poor girls--cottagers' children--at the best, farmers'\ndaughters.", "Knitting, sewing, reading, writing, ciphering, will be all\nyou will have to teach.", "What will you do with your accomplishments?" ]

[ "\n\nThe more I knew of the inmates of Moor House, the better I liked them.", "In\na few days I had so far recovered my health that I could sit up all day,\nand walk out sometimes.", "I could join with Diana and Mary in all their\noccupations; converse with them as much as they wished, and aid them when\nand where they would allow me.", "There was a reviving pleasure in this\nintercourse, of a kind now tasted by me for the first time--the pleasure\narising from perfect congeniality of tastes, sentiments, and principles.", "I liked to read what they liked to read: what they enjoyed, delighted me;\nwhat they approved, I reverenced.", "They loved their sequestered home.", "I,\ntoo, in the grey, small, antique structure, with its low roof, its\nlatticed casements, its mouldering walls, its avenue of aged firs--all\ngrown aslant under the stress of mountain winds; its garden, dark with\nyew and holly--and where no flowers but of the hardiest species would\nbloom--found a charm both potent and permanent.", "They clung to the purple\nmoors behind and around their dwelling--to the hollow vale into which the\npebbly bridle-path leading from their gate descended, and which wound\nbetween fern-banks first, and then amongst a few of the wildest little\npasture-fields that ever bordered a wilderness of heath, or gave\nsustenance to a flock of grey moorland sheep, with their little mossy-\nfaced lambs:--they clung to this scene, I say, with a perfect enthusiasm\nof attachment.", "I could comprehend the feeling, and share both its\nstrength and truth.", "I saw the fascination of the locality.", "Mutual recrimination passed between them: they parted in\nanger, and were never reconciled.", "My uncle engaged afterwards in more\nprosperous undertakings: it appears he realised a fortune of twenty\nthousand pounds.", "He was never married, and had no near kindred but\nourselves and one other person, not more closely related than we.", "My\nfather always cherished the idea that he would atone for his error by\nleaving his possessions to us; that letter informs us that he has\nbequeathed every penny to the other relation, with the exception of\nthirty guineas, to be divided between St. John, Diana, and Mary Rivers,\nfor the purchase of three mourning rings.", "He had a right, of course, to\ndo as he pleased: and yet a momentary damp is cast on the spirits by the\nreceipt of such news.", "Mary and I would have esteemed ourselves rich with\na thousand pounds each; and to St. John such a sum would have been\nvaluable, for the good it would have enabled him to do.\"", "This explanation given, the subject was dropped, and no further reference\nmade to it by either Mr. Rivers or his sisters.", "The next day I left\nMarsh End for Morton.", "The day after, Diana and Mary quitted it for\ndistant B-.", "In a week, Mr. Rivers and Hannah repaired to the parsonage:\nand so the old grange was abandoned." ]

[ "\n\nMy home, then, when I at last find a home,--is a cottage; a little room\nwith whitewashed walls and a sanded floor, containing four painted chairs\nand a table, a clock, a cupboard, with two or three plates and dishes,\nand a set of tea-things in delf.", "Above, a chamber of the same dimensions\nas the kitchen, with a deal bedstead and chest of drawers; small, yet too\nlarge to be filled with my scanty wardrobe: though the kindness of my\ngentle and generous friends has increased that, by a modest stock of such\nthings as are necessary.", "It is evening.", "I have dismissed, with the fee of an orange, the little\norphan who serves me as a handmaid.", "I am sitting alone on the hearth.", "This morning, the village school opened.", "I had twenty scholars.", "But\nthree of the number can read: none write or cipher.", "Several knit, and a\nfew sew a little.", "They speak with the broadest accent of the district.", "At present, they and I have a difficulty in understanding each other's\nlanguage.", "Some of them are unmannered, rough, intractable, as well as\nignorant; but others are docile, have a wish to learn, and evince a\ndisposition that pleases me.", "I must not forget that these coarsely-clad\nlittle peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of gentlest\ngenealogy; and that the germs of native excellence, refinement,\nintelligence, kind feeling, are as likely to exist in their hearts as in\nthose of the best-born.", "My duty will be to develop these germs: surely I\nshall find some happiness in discharging that office.", "Much enjoyment I\ndo not expect in the life opening before me: yet it will, doubtless, if I\nregulate my mind, and exert my powers as I ought, yield me enough to live\non from day to day.", "Was I very gleeful, settled, content, during the hours I passed in yonder\nbare, humble schoolroom this morning and afternoon?", "Not to deceive\nmyself, I must reply--No: I felt desolate to a degree.", "I felt--yes,\nidiot that I am--I felt degraded.", "I doubted I had taken a step which\nsank instead of raising me in the scale of social existence.", "I was\nweakly dismayed at the ignorance, the poverty, the coarseness of all I\nheard and saw round me.", "But let me not hate and despise myself too much\nfor these feelings; I know them to be wrong--that is a great step gained;\nI shall strive to overcome them.", "To-morrow, I trust, I shall get the\nbetter of them partially; and in a few weeks, perhaps, they will be quite\nsubdued.", "In a few months, it is possible, the happiness of seeing\nprogress, and a change for the better in my scholars may substitute\ngratification for disgust.", "Meantime, let me ask myself one question--Which is better?--To have\nsurrendered to temptation; listened to passion; made no painful effort--no\nstruggle;--but to have sunk down in the silken snare; fallen asleep on\nthe flowers covering it; wakened in a southern clime, amongst the\nluxuries of a pleasure villa: to have been now living in France, Mr.\nRochester's mistress; delirious with his love half my time--for he\nwould--oh, yes, he would have loved me well for a while.", "He _did_ love\nme--no one will ever love me so again.", "I shall never more know the sweet\nhomage given to beauty, youth, and grace--for never to any one else shall\nI seem to possess these charms.", "He was fond and proud of me--it is what\nno man besides will ever be.--But where am I wandering, and what am I\nsaying, and above all, feeling?", "Whether is it better, I ask, to be a\nslave in a fool's paradise at Marseilles--fevered with delusive bliss one\nhour--suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and shame the\nnext--or to be a village-schoolmistress, free and honest, in a breezy\nmountain nook in the healthy heart of England?", "Yes; I feel now that I was right when I adhered to principle and law, and\nscorned and crushed the insane promptings of a frenzied moment.", "God\ndirected me to a correct choice: I thank His providence for the guidance!", "Having brought my eventide musings to this point, I rose, went to my\ndoor, and looked at the sunset of the harvest-day, and at the quiet\nfields before my cottage, which, with the school, was distant half a mile\nfrom the village.", "The birds were singing their last strains--\n\n \"The air was mild, the dew was balm.\"", "While I looked, I thought myself happy, and was surprised to find myself\nere long weeping--and why?", "For the doom which had reft me from adhesion\nto my master: for him I was no more to see; for the desperate grief and\nfatal fury--consequences of my departure--which might now, perhaps, be\ndragging him from the path of right, too far to leave hope of ultimate\nrestoration thither.", "At this thought, I turned my face aside from the\nlovely sky of eve and lonely vale of Morton--I say _lonely_, for in that\nbend of it visible to me there was no building apparent save the church\nand the parsonage, half-hid in trees, and, quite at the extremity, the\nroof of Vale Hall, where the rich Mr. Oliver and his daughter lived.", "I\nhid my eyes, and leant my head against the stone frame of my door; but\nsoon a slight noise near the wicket which shut in my tiny garden from the\nmeadow beyond it made me look up.", "A dog--old Carlo, Mr. Rivers' pointer,\nas I saw in a moment--was pushing the gate with his nose, and St. John\nhimself leant upon it with folded arms; his brow knit, his gaze, grave\nalmost to displeasure, fixed on me.", "I asked him to come in.", "\"No, I cannot stay; I have only brought you a little parcel my sisters\nleft for you.", "I think it contains a colour-box, pencils, and paper.\"", "I approached to take it: a welcome gift it was.", "He examined my face, I\nthought, with austerity, as I came near: the traces of tears were\ndoubtless very visible upon it.", "\"Have you found your first day's work harder than you expected?\"", "he\nasked.", "\"Oh, no!", "On the contrary, I think in time I shall get on with my\nscholars very well.\"", "\"But perhaps your accommodations--your cottage--your furniture--have\ndisappointed your expectations?", "They are, in truth, scanty enough; but--\"\nI interrupted--\n\n\"My cottage is clean and weather-proof; my furniture sufficient and\ncommodious.", "All I see has made me thankful, not despondent.", "I am not\nabsolutely such a fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a\ncarpet, a sofa, and silver plate; besides, five weeks ago I had nothing--I\nwas an outcast, a beggar, a vagrant; now I have acquaintance, a home, a\nbusiness.", "I wonder at the goodness of God; the generosity of my friends;\nthe bounty of my lot.", "I do not repine.\"", "\"But you feel solitude an oppression?", "The little house there behind you\nis dark and empty.\"", "\"I have hardly had time yet to enjoy a sense of tranquillity, much less\nto grow impatient under one of loneliness.\"", "\"Very well; I hope you feel the content you express: at any rate, your\ngood sense will tell you that it is too soon yet to yield to the\nvacillating fears of Lot's wife.", "What you had left before I saw you, of\ncourse I do not know; but I counsel you to resist firmly every temptation\nwhich would incline you to look back: pursue your present career\nsteadily, for some months at least.\"", "\"It is what I mean to do,\" I answered.", "St. John continued--\n\n\"It is hard work to control the workings of inclination and turn the bent\nof nature; but that it may be done, I know from experience.", "God has\ngiven us, in a measure, the power to make our own fate; and when our\nenergies seem to demand a sustenance they cannot get--when our will\nstrains after a path we may not follow--we need neither starve from\ninanition, nor stand still in despair: we have but to seek another\nnourishment for the mind, as strong as the forbidden food it longed to\ntaste--and perhaps purer; and to hew out for the adventurous foot a road\nas direct and broad as the one Fortune has blocked up against us, if\nrougher than it.", "\"A year ago I was myself intensely miserable, because I thought I had\nmade a mistake in entering the ministry: its uniform duties wearied me to\ndeath.", "I burnt for the more active life of the world--for the more\nexciting toils of a literary career--for the destiny of an artist,\nauthor, orator; anything rather than that of a priest: yes, the heart of\na politician, of a soldier, of a votary of glory, a lover of renown, a\nluster after power, beat under my curate's surplice.", "I considered; my\nlife was so wretched, it must be changed, or I must die.", "After a season\nof darkness and struggling, light broke and relief fell: my cramped\nexistence all at once spread out to a plain without bounds--my powers\nheard a call from heaven to rise, gather their full strength, spread\ntheir wings, and mount beyond ken.", "God had an errand for me; to bear\nwhich afar, to deliver it well, skill and strength, courage and\neloquence, the best qualifications of soldier, statesman, and orator,\nwere all needed: for these all centre in the good missionary.", "\"A missionary I resolved to be.", "From that moment my state of mind\nchanged; the fetters dissolved and dropped from every faculty, leaving\nnothing of bondage but its galling soreness--which time only can heal.", "My\nfather, indeed, imposed the determination, but since his death, I have\nnot a legitimate obstacle to contend with; some affairs settled, a\nsuccessor for Morton provided, an entanglement or two of the feelings\nbroken through or cut asunder--a last conflict with human weakness, in\nwhich I know I shall overcome, because I have vowed that I _will_\novercome--and I leave Europe for the East.\"", "He said this, in his peculiar, subdued, yet emphatic voice; looking, when\nhe had ceased speaking, not at me, but at the setting sun, at which I\nlooked too.", "Both he and I had our backs towards the path leading up the\nfield to the wicket.", "We had heard no step on that grass-grown track; the\nwater running in the vale was the one lulling sound of the hour and\nscene; we might well then start when a gay voice, sweet as a silver bell,\nexclaimed--\n\n\"Good evening, Mr. Rivers.", "And good evening, old Carlo.", "Your dog is\nquicker to recognise his friends than you are, sir; he pricked his ears\nand wagged his tail when I was at the bottom of the field, and you have\nyour back towards me now.\"", "It was true.", "Though Mr. Rivers had started at the first of those musical\naccents, as if a thunderbolt had split a cloud over his head, he stood\nyet, at the close of the sentence, in the same attitude in which the\nspeaker had surprised him--his arm resting on the gate, his face directed\ntowards the west.", "He turned at last, with measured deliberation.", "A\nvision, as it seemed to me, had risen at his side.", "There appeared,\nwithin three feet of him, a form clad in pure white--a youthful, graceful\nform: full, yet fine in contour; and when, after bending to caress Carlo,\nit lifted up its head, and threw back a long veil, there bloomed under\nhis glance a face of perfect beauty.", "Perfect beauty is a strong\nexpression; but I do not retrace or qualify it: as sweet features as ever\nthe temperate clime of Albion moulded; as pure hues of rose and lily as\never her humid gales and vapoury skies generated and screened, justified,\nin this instance, the term.", "No charm was wanting, no defect was\nperceptible; the young girl had regular and delicate lineaments; eyes\nshaped and coloured as we see them in lovely pictures, large, and dark,\nand full; the long and shadowy eyelash which encircles a fine eye with so\nsoft a fascination; the pencilled brow which gives such clearness; the\nwhite smooth forehead, which adds such repose to the livelier beauties of\ntint and ray; the cheek oval, fresh, and smooth; the lips, fresh too,\nruddy, healthy, sweetly formed; the even and gleaming teeth without flaw;\nthe small dimpled chin; the ornament of rich, plenteous tresses--all\nadvantages, in short, which, combined, realise the ideal of beauty, were\nfully hers.", "I wondered, as I looked at this fair creature: I admired her\nwith my whole heart.", "Nature had surely formed her in a partial mood;\nand, forgetting her usual stinted step-mother dole of gifts, had endowed\nthis, her darling, with a grand-dame's bounty.", "What did St. John Rivers think of this earthly angel?", "I naturally asked\nmyself that question as I saw him turn to her and look at her; and, as\nnaturally, I sought the answer to the inquiry in his countenance.", "He had\nalready withdrawn his eye from the Peri, and was looking at a humble tuft\nof daisies which grew by the wicket.", "\"A lovely evening, but late for you to be out alone,\" he said, as he\ncrushed the snowy heads of the closed flowers with his foot.", "\"Oh, I only came home from S-\" (she mentioned the name of a large town\nsome twenty miles distant) \"this afternoon.", "Papa told me you had opened\nyour school, and that the new mistress was come; and so I put on my\nbonnet after tea, and ran up the valley to see her: this is she?\"", "pointing to me.", "\"It is,\" said St. John.", "\"Do you think you shall like Morton?\"", "she asked of me, with a direct and\nnaive simplicity of tone and manner, pleasing, if child-like.", "\"I hope I shall.", "I have many inducements to do so.\"", "\"Did you find your scholars as attentive as you expected?\"", "\"Quite.\"", "\"Do you like your house?\"", "\"Very much.\"", "\"Have I furnished it nicely?\"", "\"Very nicely, indeed.\"", "\"And made a good choice of an attendant for you in Alice Wood?\"", "\"You have indeed.", "She is teachable and handy.\"", "(This then, I thought,\nis Miss Oliver, the heiress; favoured, it seems, in the gifts of fortune,\nas well as in those of nature!", "What happy combination of the planets\npresided over her birth, I wonder?)", "\"I shall come up and help you to teach sometimes,\" she added.", "\"It will\nbe a change for me to visit you now and then; and I like a change.", "Mr.\nRivers, I have been _so_ gay during my stay at S-.", "Last night, or rather\nthis morning, I was dancing till two o'clock.", "The ---th regiment are\nstationed there since the riots; and the officers are the most agreeable\nmen in the world: they put all our young knife-grinders and scissor\nmerchants to shame.\"", "It seemed to me that Mr. St. John's under lip protruded, and his upper\nlip curled a moment.", "His mouth certainly looked a good deal compressed,\nand the lower part of his face unusually stern and square, as the\nlaughing girl gave him this information.", "He lifted his gaze, too, from\nthe daisies, and turned it on her.", "An unsmiling, a searching, a meaning\ngaze it was.", "She answered it with a second laugh, and laughter well\nbecame her youth, her roses, her dimples, her bright eyes.", "As he stood, mute and grave, she again fell to caressing Carlo.", "\"Poor\nCarlo loves me,\" said she.", "\"_He_ is not stern and distant to his\nfriends; and if he could speak, he would not be silent.\"", "As she patted the dog's head, bending with native grace before his young\nand austere master, I saw a glow rise to that master's face.", "I saw his\nsolemn eye melt with sudden fire, and flicker with resistless emotion.", "Flushed and kindled thus, he looked nearly as beautiful for a man as she\nfor a woman.", "His chest heaved once, as if his large heart, weary of\ndespotic constriction, had expanded, despite the will, and made a\nvigorous bound for the attainment of liberty.", "But he curbed it, I think,\nas a resolute rider would curb a rearing steed.", "He responded neither by\nword nor movement to the gentle advances made him.", "\"Papa says you never come to see us now,\" continued Miss Oliver, looking\nup.", "\"You are quite a stranger at Vale Hall.", "He is alone this evening,\nand not very well: will you return with me and visit him?\"", "\"It is not a seasonable hour to intrude on Mr. Oliver,\" answered St.\nJohn.", "\"Not a seasonable hour!", "But I declare it is.", "It is just the hour when\npapa most wants company: when the works are closed and he has no business\nto occupy him.", "Now, Mr. Rivers, _do_ come.", "Why are you so very shy, and\nso very sombre?\"", "She filled up the hiatus his silence left by a reply of\nher own.", "\"I forgot!\"", "she exclaimed, shaking her beautiful curled head, as if\nshocked at herself.", "\"I am so giddy and thoughtless!", "_Do_ excuse me.", "It\nhad slipped my memory that you have good reasons to be indisposed for\njoining in my chatter.", "Diana and Mary have left you, and Moor House is\nshut up, and you are so lonely.", "I am sure I pity you.", "Do come and see\npapa.\"", "\"Not to-night, Miss Rosamond, not to-night.\"", "Mr. St. John spoke almost like an automaton: himself only knew the effort\nit cost him thus to refuse.", "\"Well, if you are so obstinate, I will leave you; for I dare not stay any\nlonger: the dew begins to fall.", "Good evening!\"", "She held out her hand.", "He just touched it.", "\"Good evening!\"", "he repeated,\nin a voice low and hollow as an echo.", "She turned, but in a moment\nreturned.", "\"Are you well?\"", "she asked.", "Well might she put the question: his face was\nblanched as her gown.", "\"Quite well,\" he enunciated; and, with a bow, he left the gate.", "She went\none way; he another.", "She turned twice to gaze after him as she tripped\nfairy-like down the field; he, as he strode firmly across, never turned\nat all.", "This spectacle of another's suffering and sacrifice rapt my thoughts from\nexclusive meditation on my own.", "Diana Rivers had designated her brother\n\"inexorable as death.\"", "She had not exaggerated." ]

[ "But let me not hate and despise myself too much\nfor these feelings; I know them to be wrong--that is a great step gained;\nI shall strive to overcome them.", "At this thought, I turned my face aside from the\nlovely sky of eve and lonely vale of Morton--I say _lonely_, for in that\nbend of it visible to me there was no building apparent save the church\nand the parsonage, half-hid in trees, and, quite at the extremity, the\nroof of Vale Hall, where the rich Mr. Oliver and his daughter lived.", "\"But perhaps your accommodations--your cottage--your furniture--have\ndisappointed your expectations?", "\"Quite.\"", "\"Do you like your house?\"", "\"Very much.\"", "What happy combination of the planets\npresided over her birth, I wonder?)", "Mr.\nRivers, I have been _so_ gay during my stay at S-.", "She answered it with a second laugh, and laughter well\nbecame her youth, her roses, her dimples, her bright eyes.", "It\nhad slipped my memory that you have good reasons to be indisposed for\njoining in my chatter." ]

[ "A\nvision, as it seemed to me, had risen at his side.", "She turned, but in a moment\nreturned.", "\"I hope I shall.", "\"Quite well,\" he enunciated; and, with a bow, he left the gate.", "He responded neither by\nword nor movement to the gentle advances made him.", "she asked.", "\"Do you think you shall like Morton?\"", "Why are you so very shy, and\nso very sombre?\"", "\"Have you found your first day's work harder than you expected?\"", "I burnt for the more active life of the world--for the more\nexciting toils of a literary career--for the destiny of an artist,\nauthor, orator; anything rather than that of a priest: yes, the heart of\na politician, of a soldier, of a votary of glory, a lover of renown, a\nluster after power, beat under my curate's surplice." ]

[ "He turned at last, with measured deliberation.", "A\nvision, as it seemed to me, had risen at his side.", "There appeared,\nwithin three feet of him, a form clad in pure white--a youthful, graceful\nform: full, yet fine in contour; and when, after bending to caress Carlo,\nit lifted up its head, and threw back a long veil, there bloomed under\nhis glance a face of perfect beauty.", "Perfect beauty is a strong\nexpression; but I do not retrace or qualify it: as sweet features as ever\nthe temperate clime of Albion moulded; as pure hues of rose and lily as\never her humid gales and vapoury skies generated and screened, justified,\nin this instance, the term.", "No charm was wanting, no defect was\nperceptible; the young girl had regular and delicate lineaments; eyes\nshaped and coloured as we see them in lovely pictures, large, and dark,\nand full; the long and shadowy eyelash which encircles a fine eye with so\nsoft a fascination; the pencilled brow which gives such clearness; the\nwhite smooth forehead, which adds such repose to the livelier beauties of\ntint and ray; the cheek oval, fresh, and smooth; the lips, fresh too,\nruddy, healthy, sweetly formed; the even and gleaming teeth without flaw;\nthe small dimpled chin; the ornament of rich, plenteous tresses--all\nadvantages, in short, which, combined, realise the ideal of beauty, were\nfully hers.", "I wondered, as I looked at this fair creature: I admired her\nwith my whole heart.", "Nature had surely formed her in a partial mood;\nand, forgetting her usual stinted step-mother dole of gifts, had endowed\nthis, her darling, with a grand-dame's bounty.", "What did St. John Rivers think of this earthly angel?", "I naturally asked\nmyself that question as I saw him turn to her and look at her; and, as\nnaturally, I sought the answer to the inquiry in his countenance.", "He had\nalready withdrawn his eye from the Peri, and was looking at a humble tuft\nof daisies which grew by the wicket.", "\"A lovely evening, but late for you to be out alone,\" he said, as he\ncrushed the snowy heads of the closed flowers with his foot." ]

[ "\n\nMy home, then, when I at last find a home,--is a cottage; a little room\nwith whitewashed walls and a sanded floor, containing four painted chairs\nand a table, a clock, a cupboard, with two or three plates and dishes,\nand a set of tea-things in delf.", "Above, a chamber of the same dimensions\nas the kitchen, with a deal bedstead and chest of drawers; small, yet too\nlarge to be filled with my scanty wardrobe: though the kindness of my\ngentle and generous friends has increased that, by a modest stock of such\nthings as are necessary.", "It is evening.", "I have dismissed, with the fee of an orange, the little\norphan who serves me as a handmaid.", "I am sitting alone on the hearth.", "This morning, the village school opened.", "I had twenty scholars.", "But\nthree of the number can read: none write or cipher.", "Several knit, and a\nfew sew a little.", "They speak with the broadest accent of the district.", "She turned, but in a moment\nreturned.", "\"Are you well?\"", "she asked.", "Well might she put the question: his face was\nblanched as her gown.", "\"Quite well,\" he enunciated; and, with a bow, he left the gate.", "She went\none way; he another.", "She turned twice to gaze after him as she tripped\nfairy-like down the field; he, as he strode firmly across, never turned\nat all.", "This spectacle of another's suffering and sacrifice rapt my thoughts from\nexclusive meditation on my own.", "Diana Rivers had designated her brother\n\"inexorable as death.\"", "She had not exaggerated." ]

[ "\n\nI continued the labours of the village-school as actively and faithfully\nas I could.", "It was truly hard work at first.", "Some time elapsed before,\nwith all my efforts, I could comprehend my scholars and their nature.", "Wholly untaught, with faculties quite torpid, they seemed to me\nhopelessly dull; and, at first sight, all dull alike: but I soon found I\nwas mistaken.", "There was a difference amongst them as amongst the\neducated; and when I got to know them, and they me, this difference\nrapidly developed itself.", "Their amazement at me, my language, my rules,\nand ways, once subsided, I found some of these heavy-looking, gaping\nrustics wake up into sharp-witted girls enough.", "Many showed themselves\nobliging, and amiable too; and I discovered amongst them not a few\nexamples of natural politeness, and innate self-respect, as well as of\nexcellent capacity, that won both my goodwill and my admiration.", "These\nsoon took a pleasure in doing their work well, in keeping their persons\nneat, in learning their tasks regularly, in acquiring quiet and orderly\nmanners.", "The rapidity of their progress, in some instances, was even\nsurprising; and an honest and happy pride I took in it: besides, I began\npersonally to like some of the best girls; and they liked me.", "I had\namongst my scholars several farmers' daughters: young women grown,\nalmost.", "These could already read, write, and sew; and to them I taught\nthe elements of grammar, geography, history, and the finer kinds of\nneedlework.", "I found estimable characters amongst them--characters\ndesirous of information and disposed for improvement--with whom I passed\nmany a pleasant evening hour in their own homes.", "Their parents then (the\nfarmer and his wife) loaded me with attentions.", "There was an enjoyment\nin accepting their simple kindness, and in repaying it by a\nconsideration--a scrupulous regard to their feelings--to which they were\nnot, perhaps, at all times accustomed, and which both charmed and\nbenefited them; because, while it elevated them in their own eyes, it\nmade them emulous to merit the deferential treatment they received.", "I felt I became a favourite in the neighbourhood.", "Whenever I went out, I\nheard on all sides cordial salutations, and was welcomed with friendly\nsmiles.", "To live amidst general regard, though it be but the regard of\nworking people, is like \"sitting in sunshine, calm and sweet;\" serene\ninward feelings bud and bloom under the ray.", "At this period of my life,\nmy heart far oftener swelled with thankfulness than sank with dejection:\nand yet, reader, to tell you all, in the midst of this calm, this useful\nexistence--after a day passed in honourable exertion amongst my scholars,\nan evening spent in drawing or reading contentedly alone--I used to rush\ninto strange dreams at night: dreams many-coloured, agitated, full of the\nideal, the stirring, the stormy--dreams where, amidst unusual scenes,\ncharged with adventure, with agitating risk and romantic chance, I still\nagain and again met Mr. Rochester, always at some exciting crisis; and\nthen the sense of being in his arms, hearing his voice, meeting his eye,\ntouching his hand and cheek, loving him, being loved by him--the hope of\npassing a lifetime at his side, would be renewed, with all its first\nforce and fire.", "Then I awoke.", "Then I recalled where I was, and how\nsituated.", "Then I rose up on my curtainless bed, trembling and quivering;\nand then the still, dark night witnessed the convulsion of despair, and\nheard the burst of passion.", "By nine o'clock the next morning I was\npunctually opening the school; tranquil, settled, prepared for the steady\nduties of the day.", "Rosamond Oliver kept her word in coming to visit me.", "Her call at the\nschool was generally made in the course of her morning ride.", "She would\ncanter up to the door on her pony, followed by a mounted livery servant.", "Anything more exquisite than her appearance, in her purple habit, with\nher Amazon's cap of black velvet placed gracefully above the long curls\nthat kissed her cheek and floated to her shoulders, can scarcely be\nimagined: and it was thus she would enter the rustic building, and glide\nthrough the dazzled ranks of the village children.", "She generally came at\nthe hour when Mr. Rivers was engaged in giving his daily catechising\nlesson.", "Keenly, I fear, did the eye of the visitress pierce the young\npastor's heart.", "A sort of instinct seemed to warn him of her entrance,\neven when he did not see it; and when he was looking quite away from the\ndoor, if she appeared at it, his cheek would glow, and his marble-seeming\nfeatures, though they refused to relax, changed indescribably, and in\ntheir very quiescence became expressive of a repressed fervour, stronger\nthan working muscle or darting glance could indicate.", "Of course, she knew her power: indeed, he did not, because he could not,\nconceal it from her.", "In spite of his Christian stoicism, when she went\nup and addressed him, and smiled gaily, encouragingly, even fondly in his\nface, his hand would tremble and his eye burn.", "He seemed to say, with\nhis sad and resolute look, if he did not say it with his lips, \"I love\nyou, and I know you prefer me.", "It is not despair of success that keeps\nme dumb.", "If I offered my heart, I believe you would accept it.", "But that\nheart is already laid on a sacred altar: the fire is arranged round it.", "It will soon be no more than a sacrifice consumed.\"", "And then she would pout like a disappointed child; a pensive cloud would\nsoften her radiant vivacity; she would withdraw her hand hastily from\nhis, and turn in transient petulance from his aspect, at once so heroic\nand so martyr-like.", "St. John, no doubt, would have given the world to\nfollow, recall, retain her, when she thus left him; but he would not give\none chance of heaven, nor relinquish, for the elysium of her love, one\nhope of the true, eternal Paradise.", "Besides, he could not bind all that\nhe had in his nature--the rover, the aspirant, the poet, the priest--in\nthe limits of a single passion.", "He could not--he would not--renounce his\nwild field of mission warfare for the parlours and the peace of Vale\nHall.", "I learnt so much from himself in an inroad I once, despite his\nreserve, had the daring to make on his confidence.", "Miss Oliver already honoured me with frequent visits to my cottage.", "I\nhad learnt her whole character, which was without mystery or disguise:\nshe was coquettish but not heartless; exacting, but not worthlessly\nselfish.", "She had been indulged from her birth, but was not absolutely\nspoilt.", "She was hasty, but good-humoured; vain (she could not help it,\nwhen every glance in the glass showed her such a flush of loveliness),\nbut not affected; liberal-handed; innocent of the pride of wealth;\ningenuous; sufficiently intelligent; gay, lively, and unthinking: she was\nvery charming, in short, even to a cool observer of her own sex like me;\nbut she was not profoundly interesting or thoroughly impressive.", "A very\ndifferent sort of mind was hers from that, for instance, of the sisters\nof St. John.", "Still, I liked her almost as I liked my pupil Adele; except\nthat, for a child whom we have watched over and taught, a closer\naffection is engendered than we can give an equally attractive adult\nacquaintance.", "She had taken an amiable caprice to me.", "She said I was like Mr. Rivers,\nonly, certainly, she allowed, \"not one-tenth so handsome, though I was a\nnice neat little soul enough, but he was an angel.\"", "I was, however,\ngood, clever, composed, and firm, like him.", "I was a _lusus naturae_, she\naffirmed, as a village schoolmistress: she was sure my previous history,\nif known, would make a delightful romance.", "One evening, while, with her usual child-like activity, and thoughtless\nyet not offensive inquisitiveness, she was rummaging the cupboard and the\ntable-drawer of my little kitchen, she discovered first two French books,\na volume of Schiller, a German grammar and dictionary, and then my\ndrawing-materials and some sketches, including a pencil-head of a pretty\nlittle cherub-like girl, one of my scholars, and sundry views from\nnature, taken in the Vale of Morton and on the surrounding moors.", "She\nwas first transfixed with surprise, and then electrified with delight.", "\"Had I done these pictures?", "Did I know French and German?", "What a\nlove--what a miracle I was!", "I drew better than her master in the first\nschool in S-.", "Would I sketch a portrait of her, to show to papa?\"", "\"With pleasure,\" I replied; and I felt a thrill of artist-delight at the\nidea of copying from so perfect and radiant a model.", "She had then on a\ndark-blue silk dress; her arms and her neck were bare; her only ornament\nwas her chestnut tresses, which waved over her shoulders with all the\nwild grace of natural curls.", "I took a sheet of fine card-board, and drew\na careful outline.", "I promised myself the pleasure of colouring it; and,\nas it was getting late then, I told her she must come and sit another\nday.", "She made such a report of me to her father, that Mr. Oliver himself\naccompanied her next evening--a tall, massive-featured, middle-aged, and\ngrey-headed man, at whose side his lovely daughter looked like a bright\nflower near a hoary turret.", "He appeared a taciturn, and perhaps a proud\npersonage; but he was very kind to me.", "The sketch of Rosamond's portrait\npleased him highly: he said I must make a finished picture of it.", "He\ninsisted, too, on my coming the next day to spend the evening at Vale\nHall.", "I went.", "I found it a large, handsome residence, showing abundant\nevidences of wealth in the proprietor.", "Rosamond was full of glee and\npleasure all the time I stayed.", "Her father was affable; and when he\nentered into conversation with me after tea, he expressed in strong terms\nhis approbation of what I had done in Morton school, and said he only\nfeared, from what he saw and heard, I was too good for the place, and\nwould soon quit it for one more suitable.", "\"Indeed,\" cried Rosamond, \"she is clever enough to be a governess in a\nhigh family, papa.\"", "I thought I would far rather be where I am than in any high family in the\nland.", "Mr. Oliver spoke of Mr. Rivers--of the Rivers family--with great\nrespect.", "He said it was a very old name in that neighbourhood; that the\nancestors of the house were wealthy; that all Morton had once belonged to\nthem; that even now he considered the representative of that house might,\nif he liked, make an alliance with the best.", "He accounted it a pity that\nso fine and talented a young man should have formed the design of going\nout as a missionary; it was quite throwing a valuable life away.", "It\nappeared, then, that her father would throw no obstacle in the way of\nRosamond's union with St. John.", "Mr. Oliver evidently regarded the young\nclergyman's good birth, old name, and sacred profession as sufficient\ncompensation for the want of fortune.", "It was the 5th of November, and a holiday.", "My little servant, after\nhelping me to clean my house, was gone, well satisfied with the fee of a\npenny for her aid.", "All about me was spotless and bright--scoured floor,\npolished grate, and well-rubbed chairs.", "I had also made myself neat, and\nhad now the afternoon before me to spend as I would.", "The translation of a few pages of German occupied an hour; then I got my\npalette and pencils, and fell to the more soothing, because easier\noccupation, of completing Rosamond Oliver's miniature.", "The head was\nfinished already: there was but the background to tint and the drapery to\nshade off; a touch of carmine, too, to add to the ripe lips--a soft curl\nhere and there to the tresses--a deeper tinge to the shadow of the lash\nunder the azured eyelid.", "I was absorbed in the execution of these nice\ndetails, when, after one rapid tap, my door unclosed, admitting St. John\nRivers.", "\"I am come to see how you are spending your holiday,\" he said.", "\"Not, I\nhope, in thought?", "No, that is well: while you draw you will not feel\nlonely.", "You see, I mistrust you still, though you have borne up\nwonderfully so far.", "I have brought you a book for evening solace,\" and\nhe laid on the table a new publication--a poem: one of those genuine\nproductions so often vouchsafed to the fortunate public of those days--the\ngolden age of modern literature.", "Alas!", "the readers of our era are less\nfavoured.", "But courage!", "I will not pause either to accuse or repine.", "I\nknow poetry is not dead, nor genius lost; nor has Mammon gained power\nover either, to bind or slay: they will both assert their existence,\ntheir presence, their liberty and strength again one day.", "Powerful\nangels, safe in heaven!", "they smile when sordid souls triumph, and feeble\nones weep over their destruction.", "Poetry destroyed?", "Genius banished?", "No!", "Mediocrity, no: do not let envy prompt you to the thought.", "No; they\nnot only live, but reign and redeem: and without their divine influence\nspread everywhere, you would be in hell--the hell of your own meanness.", "While I was eagerly glancing at the bright pages of \"Marmion\" (for\n\"Marmion\" it was), St. John stooped to examine my drawing.", "His tall\nfigure sprang erect again with a start: he said nothing.", "I looked up at\nhim: he shunned my eye.", "I knew his thoughts well, and could read his\nheart plainly; at the moment I felt calmer and cooler than he: I had then\ntemporarily the advantage of him, and I conceived an inclination to do\nhim some good, if I could.", "\"With all his firmness and self-control,\" thought I, \"he tasks himself\ntoo far: locks every feeling and pang within--expresses, confesses,\nimparts nothing.", "I am sure it would benefit him to talk a little about\nthis sweet Rosamond, whom he thinks he ought not to marry: I will make\nhim talk.\"", "I said first, \"Take a chair, Mr.", "Rivers.\"", "But he answered, as he always\ndid, that he could not stay.", "\"Very well,\" I responded, mentally, \"stand\nif you like; but you shall not go just yet, I am determined: solitude is\nat least as bad for you as it is for me.", "I'll try if I cannot discover\nthe secret spring of your confidence, and find an aperture in that marble\nbreast through which I can shed one drop of the balm of sympathy.\"", "\"Is this portrait like?\"", "I asked bluntly.", "\"Like!", "Like whom?", "I did not observe it closely.\"", "\"You did, Mr.", "Rivers.\"", "He almost started at my sudden and strange abruptness: he looked at me\nastonished.", "\"Oh, that is nothing yet,\" I muttered within.", "\"I don't mean\nto be baffled by a little stiffness on your part; I'm prepared to go to\nconsiderable lengths.\"", "I continued, \"You observed it closely and\ndistinctly; but I have no objection to your looking at it again,\" and I\nrose and placed it in his hand.", "\"A well-executed picture,\" he said; \"very soft, clear colouring; very\ngraceful and correct drawing.\"", "\"Yes, yes; I know all that.", "But what of the resemblance?", "Who is it\nlike?\"", "Mastering some hesitation, he answered, \"Miss Oliver, I presume.\"", "\"Of course.", "And now, sir, to reward you for the accurate guess, I will\npromise to paint you a careful and faithful duplicate of this very\npicture, provided you admit that the gift would be acceptable to you.", "I\ndon't wish to throw away my time and trouble on an offering you would\ndeem worthless.\"", "He continued to gaze at the picture: the longer he looked, the firmer he\nheld it, the more he seemed to covet it.", "\"It is like!\"", "he murmured; \"the\neye is well managed: the colour, light, expression, are perfect.", "It\nsmiles!\"", "\"Would it comfort, or would it wound you to have a similar painting?", "Tell\nme that.", "When you are at Madagascar, or at the Cape, or in India, would\nit be a consolation to have that memento in your possession?", "or would the\nsight of it bring recollections calculated to enervate and distress?\"", "He now furtively raised his eyes: he glanced at me, irresolute,\ndisturbed: he again surveyed the picture.", "\"That I should like to have it is certain: whether it would be judicious\nor wise is another question.\"", "Since I had ascertained that Rosamond really preferred him, and that her\nfather was not likely to oppose the match, I--less exalted in my views\nthan St. John--had been strongly disposed in my own heart to advocate\ntheir union.", "It seemed to me that, should he become the possessor of Mr.\nOliver's large fortune, he might do as much good with it as if he went\nand laid his genius out to wither, and his strength to waste, under a\ntropical sun.", "With this persuasion I now answered--\n\n\"As far as I can see, it would be wiser and more judicious if you were to\ntake to yourself the original at once.\"", "By this time he had sat down: he had laid the picture on the table before\nhim, and with his brow supported on both hands, hung fondly over it.", "I\ndiscerned he was now neither angry nor shocked at my audacity.", "I saw\neven that to be thus frankly addressed on a subject he had deemed\nunapproachable--to hear it thus freely handled--was beginning to be felt\nby him as a new pleasure--an unhoped-for relief.", "Reserved people often\nreally need the frank discussion of their sentiments and griefs more than\nthe expansive.", "The sternest-seeming stoic is human after all; and to\n\"burst\" with boldness and good-will into \"the silent sea\" of their souls\nis often to confer on them the first of obligations.", "\"She likes you, I am sure,\" said I, as I stood behind his chair, \"and her\nfather respects you.", "Moreover, she is a sweet girl--rather thoughtless;\nbut you would have sufficient thought for both yourself and her.", "You\nought to marry her.\"", "\"_Does_ she like me?\"", "he asked.", "\"Certainly; better than she likes any one else.", "She talks of you\ncontinually: there is no subject she enjoys so much or touches upon so\noften.\"", "\"It is very pleasant to hear this,\" he said--\"very: go on for another\nquarter of an hour.\"", "And he actually took out his watch and laid it upon\nthe table to measure the time.", "\"But where is the use of going on,\" I asked, \"when you are probably\npreparing some iron blow of contradiction, or forging a fresh chain to\nfetter your heart?\"", "\"Don't imagine such hard things.", "Fancy me yielding and melting, as I am\ndoing: human love rising like a freshly opened fountain in my mind and\noverflowing with sweet inundation all the field I have so carefully and\nwith such labour prepared--so assiduously sown with the seeds of good\nintentions, of self-denying plans.", "And now it is deluged with a\nnectarous flood--the young germs swamped--delicious poison cankering\nthem: now I see myself stretched on an ottoman in the drawing-room at\nVale Hall at my bride Rosamond Oliver's feet: she is talking to me with\nher sweet voice--gazing down on me with those eyes your skilful hand has\ncopied so well--smiling at me with these coral lips.", "She is mine--I am\nhers--this present life and passing world suffice to me.", "Hush!", "say\nnothing--my heart is full of delight--my senses are entranced--let the\ntime I marked pass in peace.\"", "I humoured him: the watch ticked on: he breathed fast and low: I stood\nsilent.", "Amidst this hush the quartet sped; he replaced the watch, laid\nthe picture down, rose, and stood on the hearth.", "\"Now,\" said he, \"that little space was given to delirium and delusion.", "I\nrested my temples on the breast of temptation, and put my neck\nvoluntarily under her yoke of flowers.", "I tasted her cup.", "The pillow was\nburning: there is an asp in the garland: the wine has a bitter taste: her\npromises are hollow--her offers false: I see and know all this.\"", "I gazed at him in wonder.", "\"It is strange,\" pursued he, \"that while I love Rosamond Oliver so\nwildly--with all the intensity, indeed, of a first passion, the object of\nwhich is exquisitely beautiful, graceful, fascinating--I experience at\nthe same time a calm, unwarped consciousness that she would not make me a\ngood wife; that she is not the partner suited to me; that I should\ndiscover this within a year after marriage; and that to twelve months'\nrapture would succeed a lifetime of regret.", "This I know.\"", "\"Strange indeed!\"", "I could not help ejaculating.", "\"While something in me,\" he went on, \"is acutely sensible to her charms,\nsomething else is as deeply impressed with her defects: they are such\nthat she could sympathise in nothing I aspired to--co-operate in nothing\nI undertook.", "Rosamond a sufferer, a labourer, a female apostle?", "Rosamond\na missionary's wife?", "No!\"", "\"But you need not be a missionary.", "You might relinquish that scheme.\"", "\"Relinquish!", "What!", "my vocation?", "My great work?", "My foundation laid on\nearth for a mansion in heaven?", "My hopes of being numbered in the band\nwho have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their\nrace--of carrying knowledge into the realms of ignorance--of substituting\npeace for war--freedom for bondage--religion for superstition--the hope\nof heaven for the fear of hell?", "Must I relinquish that?", "It is dearer\nthan the blood in my veins.", "It is what I have to look forward to, and to\nlive for.\"", "After a considerable pause, I said--\"And Miss Oliver?", "Are her\ndisappointment and sorrow of no interest to you?\"", "\"Miss Oliver is ever surrounded by suitors and flatterers: in less than a\nmonth, my image will be effaced from her heart.", "She will forget me; and\nwill marry, probably, some one who will make her far happier than I\nshould do.\"", "\"You speak coolly enough; but you suffer in the conflict.", "You are\nwasting away.\"", "\"No.", "If I get a little thin, it is with anxiety about my prospects, yet\nunsettled--my departure, continually procrastinated.", "Only this morning,\nI received intelligence that the successor, whose arrival I have been so\nlong expecting, cannot be ready to replace me for three months to come\nyet; and perhaps the three months may extend to six.\"", "\"You tremble and become flushed whenever Miss Oliver enters the\nschoolroom.\"", "Again the surprised expression crossed his face.", "He had not imagined\nthat a woman would dare to speak so to a man.", "For me, I felt at home in\nthis sort of discourse.", "I could never rest in communication with strong,\ndiscreet, and refined minds, whether male or female, till I had passed\nthe outworks of conventional reserve, and crossed the threshold of\nconfidence, and won a place by their heart's very hearthstone.", "\"You are original,\" said he, \"and not timid.", "There is something brave in\nyour spirit, as well as penetrating in your eye; but allow me to assure\nyou that you partially misinterpret my emotions.", "You think them more\nprofound and potent than they are.", "You give me a larger allowance of\nsympathy than I have a just claim to.", "When I colour, and when I shade\nbefore Miss Oliver, I do not pity myself.", "I scorn the weakness.", "I know\nit is ignoble: a mere fever of the flesh: not, I declare, the convulsion\nof the soul.", "_That_ is just as fixed as a rock, firm set in the depths\nof a restless sea.", "Know me to be what I am--a cold hard man.\"", "I smiled incredulously.", "\"You have taken my confidence by storm,\" he continued, \"and now it is\nmuch at your service.", "I am simply, in my original state--stripped of\nthat blood-bleached robe with which Christianity covers human deformity--a\ncold, hard, ambitious man.", "Natural affection only, of all the\nsentiments, has permanent power over me.", "Reason, and not feeling, is my\nguide; my ambition is unlimited: my desire to rise higher, to do more\nthan others, insatiable.", "I honour endurance, perseverance, industry,\ntalent; because these are the means by which men achieve great ends and\nmount to lofty eminence.", "I watch your career with interest, because I\nconsider you a specimen of a diligent, orderly, energetic woman: not\nbecause I deeply compassionate what you have gone through, or what you\nstill suffer.\"", "\"You would describe yourself as a mere pagan philosopher,\" I said.", "\"No.", "There is this difference between me and deistic philosophers: I\nbelieve; and I believe the Gospel.", "You missed your epithet.", "I am not a\npagan, but a Christian philosopher--a follower of the sect of Jesus.", "As\nHis disciple I adopt His pure, His merciful, His benignant doctrines.", "I\nadvocate them: I am sworn to spread them.", "Won in youth to religion, she\nhas cultivated my original qualities thus:--From the minute germ, natural\naffection, she has developed the overshadowing tree, philanthropy.", "From\nthe wild stringy root of human uprightness, she has reared a due sense of\nthe Divine justice.", "Of the ambition to win power and renown for my\nwretched self, she has formed the ambition to spread my Master's kingdom;\nto achieve victories for the standard of the cross.", "So much has religion\ndone for me; turning the original materials to the best account; pruning\nand training nature.", "But she could not eradicate nature: nor will it be\neradicated 'till this mortal shall put on immortality.'\"", "Having said this, he took his hat, which lay on the table beside my\npalette.", "Once more he looked at the portrait.", "\"She _is_ lovely,\" he murmured.", "\"She is well named the Rose of the\nWorld, indeed!\"", "\"And may I not paint one like it for you?\"", "\"_Cui bono_?", "No.\"", "He drew over the picture the sheet of thin paper on which I was\naccustomed to rest my hand in painting, to prevent the cardboard from\nbeing sullied.", "What he suddenly saw on this blank paper, it was\nimpossible for me to tell; but something had caught his eye.", "He took it\nup with a snatch; he looked at the edge; then shot a glance at me,\ninexpressibly peculiar, and quite incomprehensible: a glance that seemed\nto take and make note of every point in my shape, face, and dress; for it\ntraversed all, quick, keen as lightning.", "His lips parted, as if to\nspeak: but he checked the coming sentence, whatever it was.", "\"What is the matter?\"", "I asked.", "\"Nothing in the world,\" was the reply; and, replacing the paper, I saw\nhim dexterously tear a narrow slip from the margin.", "It disappeared in\nhis glove; and, with one hasty nod and \"good-afternoon,\" he vanished.", "\"Well!\"", "I exclaimed, using an expression of the district, \"that caps the\nglobe, however!\"", "I, in my turn, scrutinised the paper; but saw nothing on it save a few\ndingy stains of paint where I had tried the tint in my pencil.", "I\npondered the mystery a minute or two; but finding it insolvable, and\nbeing certain it could not be of much moment, I dismissed, and soon\nforgot it." ]

[ "In spite of his Christian stoicism, when she went\nup and addressed him, and smiled gaily, encouragingly, even fondly in his\nface, his hand would tremble and his eye burn.", "It is not despair of success that keeps\nme dumb.", "But that\nheart is already laid on a sacred altar: the fire is arranged round it.", "A very\ndifferent sort of mind was hers from that, for instance, of the sisters\nof St. John.", "Alas!", "No; they\nnot only live, but reign and redeem: and without their divine influence\nspread everywhere, you would be in hell--the hell of your own meanness.", "\"Would it comfort, or would it wound you to have a similar painting?", "When you are at Madagascar, or at the Cape, or in India, would\nit be a consolation to have that memento in your possession?", "\"Now,\" said he, \"that little space was given to delirium and delusion.", "I watch your career with interest, because I\nconsider you a specimen of a diligent, orderly, energetic woman: not\nbecause I deeply compassionate what you have gone through, or what you\nstill suffer.\"" ]

[ "Besides, he could not bind all that\nhe had in his nature--the rover, the aspirant, the poet, the priest--in\nthe limits of a single passion.", "I know\nit is ignoble: a mere fever of the flesh: not, I declare, the convulsion\nof the soul.", "Mr. Oliver evidently regarded the young\nclergyman's good birth, old name, and sacred profession as sufficient\ncompensation for the want of fortune.", "\"Oh, that is nothing yet,\" I muttered within.", "At this period of my life,\nmy heart far oftener swelled with thankfulness than sank with dejection:\nand yet, reader, to tell you all, in the midst of this calm, this useful\nexistence--after a day passed in honourable exertion amongst my scholars,\nan evening spent in drawing or reading contentedly alone--I used to rush\ninto strange dreams at night: dreams many-coloured, agitated, full of the\nideal, the stirring, the stormy--dreams where, amidst unusual scenes,\ncharged with adventure, with agitating risk and romantic chance, I still\nagain and again met Mr. Rochester, always at some exciting crisis; and\nthen the sense of being in his arms, hearing his voice, meeting his eye,\ntouching his hand and cheek, loving him, being loved by him--the hope of\npassing a lifetime at his side, would be renewed, with all its first\nforce and fire.", "Her call at the\nschool was generally made in the course of her morning ride.", "\"She is well named the Rose of the\nWorld, indeed!\"", "Her father was affable; and when he\nentered into conversation with me after tea, he expressed in strong terms\nhis approbation of what I had done in Morton school, and said he only\nfeared, from what he saw and heard, I was too good for the place, and\nwould soon quit it for one more suitable.", "I'll try if I cannot discover\nthe secret spring of your confidence, and find an aperture in that marble\nbreast through which I can shed one drop of the balm of sympathy.\"", "It is not despair of success that keeps\nme dumb." ]

[ "\"I don't mean\nto be baffled by a little stiffness on your part; I'm prepared to go to\nconsiderable lengths.\"", "I continued, \"You observed it closely and\ndistinctly; but I have no objection to your looking at it again,\" and I\nrose and placed it in his hand.", "\"A well-executed picture,\" he said; \"very soft, clear colouring; very\ngraceful and correct drawing.\"", "\"Yes, yes; I know all that.", "But what of the resemblance?", "Who is it\nlike?\"", "Mastering some hesitation, he answered, \"Miss Oliver, I presume.\"", "\"Of course.", "And now, sir, to reward you for the accurate guess, I will\npromise to paint you a careful and faithful duplicate of this very\npicture, provided you admit that the gift would be acceptable to you.", "I\ndon't wish to throw away my time and trouble on an offering you would\ndeem worthless.\"", "He continued to gaze at the picture: the longer he looked, the firmer he\nheld it, the more he seemed to covet it." ]

[ "\n\nI continued the labours of the village-school as actively and faithfully\nas I could.", "It was truly hard work at first.", "Some time elapsed before,\nwith all my efforts, I could comprehend my scholars and their nature.", "Wholly untaught, with faculties quite torpid, they seemed to me\nhopelessly dull; and, at first sight, all dull alike: but I soon found I\nwas mistaken.", "There was a difference amongst them as amongst the\neducated; and when I got to know them, and they me, this difference\nrapidly developed itself.", "Their amazement at me, my language, my rules,\nand ways, once subsided, I found some of these heavy-looking, gaping\nrustics wake up into sharp-witted girls enough.", "Many showed themselves\nobliging, and amiable too; and I discovered amongst them not a few\nexamples of natural politeness, and innate self-respect, as well as of\nexcellent capacity, that won both my goodwill and my admiration.", "These\nsoon took a pleasure in doing their work well, in keeping their persons\nneat, in learning their tasks regularly, in acquiring quiet and orderly\nmanners.", "The rapidity of their progress, in some instances, was even\nsurprising; and an honest and happy pride I took in it: besides, I began\npersonally to like some of the best girls; and they liked me.", "I had\namongst my scholars several farmers' daughters: young women grown,\nalmost.", "He took it\nup with a snatch; he looked at the edge; then shot a glance at me,\ninexpressibly peculiar, and quite incomprehensible: a glance that seemed\nto take and make note of every point in my shape, face, and dress; for it\ntraversed all, quick, keen as lightning.", "His lips parted, as if to\nspeak: but he checked the coming sentence, whatever it was.", "\"What is the matter?\"", "I asked.", "\"Nothing in the world,\" was the reply; and, replacing the paper, I saw\nhim dexterously tear a narrow slip from the margin.", "It disappeared in\nhis glove; and, with one hasty nod and \"good-afternoon,\" he vanished.", "\"Well!\"", "I exclaimed, using an expression of the district, \"that caps the\nglobe, however!\"", "I, in my turn, scrutinised the paper; but saw nothing on it save a few\ndingy stains of paint where I had tried the tint in my pencil.", "I\npondered the mystery a minute or two; but finding it insolvable, and\nbeing certain it could not be of much moment, I dismissed, and soon\nforgot it." ]

[ "\n\nWhen Mr. St. John went, it was beginning to snow; the whirling storm\ncontinued all night.", "The next day a keen wind brought fresh and blinding\nfalls; by twilight the valley was drifted up and almost impassable.", "I\nhad closed my shutter, laid a mat to the door to prevent the snow from\nblowing in under it, trimmed my fire, and after sitting nearly an hour on\nthe hearth listening to the muffled fury of the tempest, I lit a candle,\ntook down \"Marmion,\" and beginning--\n\n \"Day set on Norham's castled steep,\n And Tweed's fair river broad and deep,\n And Cheviot's mountains lone;\n The massive towers, the donjon keep,\n The flanking walls that round them sweep,\n In yellow lustre shone\"--\n\nI soon forgot storm in music.", "I heard a noise: the wind, I thought, shook the door.", "No; it was St.\nJohn Rivers, who, lifting the latch, came in out of the frozen\nhurricane--the howling darkness--and stood before me: the cloak that\ncovered his tall figure all white as a glacier.", "I was almost in\nconsternation, so little had I expected any guest from the blocked-up\nvale that night.", "\"Any ill news?\"", "I demanded.", "\"Has anything happened?\"", "\"No.", "How very easily alarmed you are!\"", "he answered, removing his cloak\nand hanging it up against the door, towards which he again coolly pushed\nthe mat which his entrance had deranged.", "He stamped the snow from his\nboots.", "\"I shall sully the purity of your floor,\" said he, \"but you must excuse\nme for once.\"", "Then he approached the fire.", "\"I have had hard work to get\nhere, I assure you,\" he observed, as he warmed his hands over the flame.", "\"One drift took me up to the waist; happily the snow is quite soft yet.\"", "\"But why are you come?\"", "I could not forbear saying.", "\"Rather an inhospitable question to put to a visitor; but since you ask\nit, I answer simply to have a little talk with you; I got tired of my\nmute books and empty rooms.", "Besides, since yesterday I have experienced\nthe excitement of a person to whom a tale has been half-told, and who is\nimpatient to hear the sequel.\"", "He sat down.", "I recalled his singular conduct of yesterday, and really I\nbegan to fear his wits were touched.", "If he were insane, however, his was\na very cool and collected insanity: I had never seen that\nhandsome-featured face of his look more like chiselled marble than it did\njust now, as he put aside his snow-wet hair from his forehead and let the\nfirelight shine free on his pale brow and cheek as pale, where it grieved\nme to discover the hollow trace of care or sorrow now so plainly graved.", "I waited, expecting he would say something I could at least comprehend;\nbut his hand was now at his chin, his finger on his lip: he was thinking.", "It struck me that his hand looked wasted like his face.", "A perhaps\nuncalled-for gush of pity came over my heart: I was moved to say--\n\n\"I wish Diana or Mary would come and live with you: it is too bad that\nyou should be quite alone; and you are recklessly rash about your own\nhealth.\"", "\"Not at all,\" said he: \"I care for myself when necessary.", "I am well now.", "What do you see amiss in me?\"", "This was said with a careless, abstracted indifference, which showed that\nmy solicitude was, at least in his opinion, wholly superfluous.", "I was\nsilenced.", "He still slowly moved his finger over his upper lip, and still his eye\ndwelt dreamily on the glowing grate; thinking it urgent to say something,\nI asked him presently if he felt any cold draught from the door, which\nwas behind him.", "\"No, no!\"", "he responded shortly and somewhat testily.", "\"Well,\" I reflected, \"if you won't talk, you may be still; I'll let you\nalone now, and return to my book.\"", "So I snuffed the candle and resumed the perusal of \"Marmion.\"", "He soon\nstirred; my eye was instantly drawn to his movements; he only took out a\nmorocco pocket-book, thence produced a letter, which he read in silence,\nfolded it, put it back, relapsed into meditation.", "It was vain to try to\nread with such an inscrutable fixture before me; nor could I, in\nimpatience, consent to be dumb; he might rebuff me if he liked, but talk\nI would.", "\"Have you heard from Diana and Mary lately?\"", "\"Not since the letter I showed you a week ago.\"", "\"There has not been any change made about your own arrangements?", "You\nwill not be summoned to leave England sooner than you expected?\"", "\"I fear not, indeed: such chance is too good to befall me.\"", "Baffled so\nfar, I changed my ground.", "I bethought myself to talk about the school\nand my scholars.", "\"Mary Garrett's mother is better, and Mary came back to the school this\nmorning, and I shall have four new girls next week from the Foundry\nClose--they would have come to-day but for the snow.\"", "\"Indeed!\"", "\"Mr. Oliver pays for two.\"", "\"Does he?\"", "\"He means to give the whole school a treat at Christmas.\"", "\"I know.\"", "\"Was it your suggestion?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Whose, then?\"", "\"His daughter's, I think.\"", "\"It is like her: she is so good-natured.\"", "\"Yes.\"", "Again came the blank of a pause: the clock struck eight strokes.", "It\naroused him; he uncrossed his legs, sat erect, turned to me.", "\"Leave your book a moment, and come a little nearer the fire,\" he said.", "Wondering, and of my wonder finding no end, I complied.", "\"Half-an-hour ago,\" he pursued, \"I spoke of my impatience to hear the\nsequel of a tale: on reflection, I find the matter will be better managed\nby my assuming the narrator's part, and converting you into a listener.", "Before commencing, it is but fair to warn you that the story will sound\nsomewhat hackneyed in your ears; but stale details often regain a degree\nof freshness when they pass through new lips.", "For the rest, whether\ntrite or novel, it is short.", "\"Twenty years ago, a poor curate--never mind his name at this moment--fell\nin love with a rich man's daughter; she fell in love with him, and\nmarried him, against the advice of all her friends, who consequently\ndisowned her immediately after the wedding.", "Before two years passed, the\nrash pair were both dead, and laid quietly side by side under one slab.", "(I have seen their grave; it formed part of the pavement of a huge\nchurchyard surrounding the grim, soot-black old cathedral of an overgrown\nmanufacturing town in ---shire.)", "They left a daughter, which, at its\nvery birth, Charity received in her lap--cold as that of the snow-drift I\nalmost stuck fast in to-night.", "Charity carried the friendless thing to\nthe house of its rich maternal relations; it was reared by an aunt-in-\nlaw, called (I come to names now) Mrs. Reed of Gateshead.", "You start--did\nyou hear a noise?", "I daresay it is only a rat scrambling along the\nrafters of the adjoining schoolroom: it was a barn before I had it\nrepaired and altered, and barns are generally haunted by rats.--To\nproceed.", "Mrs. Reed kept the orphan ten years: whether it was happy or\nnot with her, I cannot say, never having been told; but at the end of\nthat time she transferred it to a place you know--being no other than\nLowood School, where you so long resided yourself.", "It seems her career\nthere was very honourable: from a pupil, she became a teacher, like\nyourself--really it strikes me there are parallel points in her history\nand yours--she left it to be a governess: there, again, your fates were\nanalogous; she undertook the education of the ward of a certain Mr.", "Rochester.\"", "\"Mr.", "Rivers!\"", "I interrupted.", "\"I can guess your feelings,\" he said, \"but restrain them for a while: I\nhave nearly finished; hear me to the end.", "Of Mr. Rochester's character I\nknow nothing, but the one fact that he professed to offer honourable\nmarriage to this young girl, and that at the very altar she discovered he\nhad a wife yet alive, though a lunatic.", "What his subsequent conduct and\nproposals were is a matter of pure conjecture; but when an event\ntranspired which rendered inquiry after the governess necessary, it was\ndiscovered she was gone--no one could tell when, where, or how.", "She had\nleft Thornfield Hall in the night; every research after her course had\nbeen vain: the country had been scoured far and wide; no vestige of\ninformation could be gathered respecting her.", "Yet that she should be\nfound is become a matter of serious urgency: advertisements have been put\nin all the papers; I myself have received a letter from one Mr. Briggs, a\nsolicitor, communicating the details I have just imparted.", "Is it not an\nodd tale?\"", "\"Just tell me this,\" said I, \"and since you know so much, you surely can\ntell it me--what of Mr. Rochester?", "How and where is he?", "What is he\ndoing?", "Is he well?\"", "\"I am ignorant of all concerning Mr. Rochester: the letter never mentions\nhim but to narrate the fraudulent and illegal attempt I have adverted to.", "You should rather ask the name of the governess--the nature of the event\nwhich requires her appearance.\"", "\"Did no one go to Thornfield Hall, then?", "Did no one see Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "\"I suppose not.\"", "\"But they wrote to him?\"", "\"Of course.\"", "\"And what did he say?", "Who has his letters?\"", "\"Mr. Briggs intimates that the answer to his application was not from Mr.\nRochester, but from a lady: it is signed 'Alice Fairfax.'\"", "I felt cold and dismayed: my worst fears then were probably true: he had\nin all probability left England and rushed in reckless desperation to\nsome former haunt on the Continent.", "And what opiate for his severe\nsufferings--what object for his strong passions--had he sought there?", "I\ndared not answer the question.", "Oh, my poor master--once almost my\nhusband--whom I had often called \"my dear Edward!\"", "\"He must have been a bad man,\" observed Mr. Rivers.", "\"You don't know him--don't pronounce an opinion upon him,\" I said, with\nwarmth.", "\"Very well,\" he answered quietly: \"and indeed my head is otherwise\noccupied than with him: I have my tale to finish.", "Since you won't ask\nthe governess's name, I must tell it of my own accord.", "Stay!", "I have it\nhere--it is always more satisfactory to see important points written\ndown, fairly committed to black and white.\"", "And the pocket-book was again deliberately produced, opened, sought\nthrough; from one of its compartments was extracted a shabby slip of\npaper, hastily torn off: I recognised in its texture and its stains of\nultra-marine, and lake, and vermillion, the ravished margin of the\nportrait-cover.", "He got up, held it close to my eyes: and I read, traced\nin Indian ink, in my own handwriting, the words \"JANE EYRE\"--the work\ndoubtless of some moment of abstraction.", "\"Briggs wrote to me of a Jane Eyre:\" he said, \"the advertisements\ndemanded a Jane Eyre: I knew a Jane Elliott.--I confess I had my\nsuspicions, but it was only yesterday afternoon they were at once\nresolved into certainty.", "You own the name and renounce the _alias_?\"", "\"Yes--yes; but where is Mr. Briggs?", "He perhaps knows more of Mr.\nRochester than you do.\"", "\"Briggs is in London.", "I should doubt his knowing anything at all about\nMr. Rochester; it is not in Mr. Rochester he is interested.", "Meantime,\nyou forget essential points in pursuing trifles: you do not inquire why\nMr. Briggs sought after you--what he wanted with you.\"", "\"Well, what did he want?\"", "\"Merely to tell you that your uncle, Mr. Eyre of Madeira, is dead; that\nhe has left you all his property, and that you are now rich--merely\nthat--nothing more.\"", "\"I!--rich?\"", "\"Yes, you, rich--quite an heiress.\"", "Silence succeeded.", "\"You must prove your identity of course,\" resumed St. John presently: \"a\nstep which will offer no difficulties; you can then enter on immediate\npossession.", "Your fortune is vested in the English funds; Briggs has the\nwill and the necessary documents.\"", "Here was a new card turned up!", "It is a fine thing, reader, to be lifted\nin a moment from indigence to wealth--a very fine thing; but not a matter\none can comprehend, or consequently enjoy, all at once.", "And then there\nare other chances in life far more thrilling and rapture-giving: _this_\nis solid, an affair of the actual world, nothing ideal about it: all its\nassociations are solid and sober, and its manifestations are the same.", "One does not jump, and spring, and shout hurrah!", "at hearing one has got a\nfortune; one begins to consider responsibilities, and to ponder business;\non a base of steady satisfaction rise certain grave cares, and we contain\nourselves, and brood over our bliss with a solemn brow.", "Besides, the words Legacy, Bequest, go side by side with the words,\nDeath, Funeral.", "My uncle I had heard was dead--my only relative; ever\nsince being made aware of his existence, I had cherished the hope of one\nday seeing him: now, I never should.", "And then this money came only to\nme: not to me and a rejoicing family, but to my isolated self.", "It was a\ngrand boon doubtless; and independence would be glorious--yes, I felt\nthat--that thought swelled my heart.", "\"You unbend your forehead at last,\" said Mr. Rivers.", "\"I thought Medusa\nhad looked at you, and that you were turning to stone.", "Perhaps now you\nwill ask how much you are worth?\"", "\"How much am I worth?\"", "\"Oh, a trifle!", "Nothing of course to speak of--twenty thousand pounds, I\nthink they say--but what is that?\"", "\"Twenty thousand pounds?\"", "Here was a new stunner--I had been calculating on four or five thousand.", "This news actually took my breath for a moment: Mr. St. John, whom I had\nnever heard laugh before, laughed now.", "\"Well,\" said he, \"if you had committed a murder, and I had told you your\ncrime was discovered, you could scarcely look more aghast.\"", "\"It is a large sum--don't you think there is a mistake?\"", "\"No mistake at all.\"", "\"Perhaps you have read the figures wrong--it may be two thousand!\"", "\"It is written in letters, not figures,--twenty thousand.\"", "I again felt rather like an individual of but average gastronomical\npowers sitting down to feast alone at a table spread with provisions for\na hundred.", "Mr. Rivers rose now and put his cloak on.", "\"If it were not such a very wild night,\" he said, \"I would send Hannah\ndown to keep you company: you look too desperately miserable to be left\nalone.", "But Hannah, poor woman!", "could not stride the drifts so well as I:\nher legs are not quite so long: so I must e'en leave you to your sorrows.", "Good-night.\"", "He was lifting the latch: a sudden thought occurred to me.", "\"Stop one\nminute!\"", "I cried.", "\"Well?\"", "\"It puzzles me to know why Mr. Briggs wrote to you about me; or how he\nknew you, or could fancy that you, living in such an out-of-the-way\nplace, had the power to aid in my discovery.\"", "\"Oh!", "I am a clergyman,\" he said; \"and the clergy are often appealed to\nabout odd matters.\"", "Again the latch rattled.", "\"No; that does not satisfy me!\"", "I exclaimed: and indeed there was\nsomething in the hasty and unexplanatory reply which, instead of\nallaying, piqued my curiosity more than ever.", "\"It is a very strange piece of business,\" I added; \"I must know more\nabout it.\"", "\"Another time.\"", "\"No; to-night!--to-night!\"", "and as he turned from the door, I placed\nmyself between it and him.", "He looked rather embarrassed.", "\"You certainly shall not go till you have told me all,\" I said.", "\"I would rather not just now.\"", "\"You shall!--you must!\"", "\"I would rather Diana or Mary informed you.\"", "Of course these objections wrought my eagerness to a climax: gratified it\nmust be, and that without delay; and I told him so.", "\"But I apprised you that I was a hard man,\" said he, \"difficult to\npersuade.\"", "\"And I am a hard woman,--impossible to put off.\"", "{And I am a hard woman,--impossible to put off: p369.jpg}\n\n\"And then,\" he pursued, \"I am cold: no fervour infects me.\"", "\"Whereas I am hot, and fire dissolves ice.", "The blaze there has thawed\nall the snow from your cloak; by the same token, it has streamed on to my\nfloor, and made it like a trampled street.", "As you hope ever to be\nforgiven, Mr. Rivers, the high crime and misdemeanour of spoiling a\nsanded kitchen, tell me what I wish to know.\"", "\"Well, then,\" he said, \"I yield; if not to your earnestness, to your\nperseverance: as stone is worn by continual dropping.", "Besides, you must\nknow some day,--as well now as later.", "Your name is Jane Eyre?\"", "\"Of course: that was all settled before.\"", "\"You are not, perhaps, aware that I am your namesake?--that I was\nchristened St. John Eyre Rivers?\"", "\"No, indeed!", "I remember now seeing the letter E. comprised in your\ninitials written in books you have at different times lent me; but I\nnever asked for what name it stood.", "But what then?", "Surely--\"\n\nI stopped: I could not trust myself to entertain, much less to express,\nthe thought that rushed upon me--that embodied itself,--that, in a\nsecond, stood out a strong, solid probability.", "Circumstances knit\nthemselves, fitted themselves, shot into order: the chain that had been\nlying hitherto a formless lump of links was drawn out straight,--every\nring was perfect, the connection complete.", "I knew, by instinct, how the\nmatter stood, before St. John had said another word; but I cannot expect\nthe reader to have the same intuitive perception, so I must repeat his\nexplanation.", "\"My mother's name was Eyre; she had two brothers; one a clergyman, who\nmarried Miss Jane Reed, of Gateshead; the other, John Eyre, Esq.,\nmerchant, late of Funchal, Madeira.", "Mr. Briggs, being Mr. Eyre's\nsolicitor, wrote to us last August to inform us of our uncle's death, and\nto say that he had left his property to his brother the clergyman's\norphan daughter, overlooking us, in consequence of a quarrel, never\nforgiven, between him and my father.", "He wrote again a few weeks since,\nto intimate that the heiress was lost, and asking if we knew anything of\nher.", "A name casually written on a slip of paper has enabled me to find\nher out.", "You know the rest.\"", "Again he was going, but I set my back\nagainst the door.", "\"Do let me speak,\" I said; \"let me have one moment to draw breath and\nreflect.\"", "I paused--he stood before me, hat in hand, looking composed\nenough.", "I resumed--\n\n\"Your mother was my father's sister?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"My aunt, consequently?\"", "He bowed.", "\"My uncle John was your uncle John?", "You, Diana, and Mary are his\nsister's children, as I am his brother's child?\"", "\"Undeniably.\"", "\"You three, then, are my cousins; half our blood on each side flows from\nthe same source?\"", "\"We are cousins; yes.\"", "I surveyed him.", "It seemed I had found a brother: one I could be proud\nof,--one I could love; and two sisters, whose qualities were such, that,\nwhen I knew them but as mere strangers, they had inspired me with genuine\naffection and admiration.", "The two girls, on whom, kneeling down on the\nwet ground, and looking through the low, latticed window of Moor House\nkitchen, I had gazed with so bitter a mixture of interest and despair,\nwere my near kinswomen; and the young and stately gentleman who had found\nme almost dying at his threshold was my blood relation.", "Glorious\ndiscovery to a lonely wretch!", "This was wealth indeed!--wealth to the\nheart!--a mine of pure, genial affections.", "This was a blessing, bright,\nvivid, and exhilarating;--not like the ponderous gift of gold: rich and\nwelcome enough in its way, but sobering from its weight.", "I now clapped\nmy hands in sudden joy--my pulse bounded, my veins thrilled.", "\"Oh, I am glad!--I am glad!\"", "I exclaimed.", "St. John smiled.", "\"Did I not say you neglected essential points to pursue\ntrifles?\"", "he asked.", "\"You were serious when I told you you had got a\nfortune; and now, for a matter of no moment, you are excited.\"", "\"What can you mean?", "It may be of no moment to you; you have sisters and\ndon't care for a cousin; but I had nobody; and now three relations,--or\ntwo, if you don't choose to be counted,--are born into my world\nfull-grown.", "I say again, I am glad!\"", "I walked fast through the room: I stopped, half suffocated with the\nthoughts that rose faster than I could receive, comprehend, settle\nthem:--thoughts of what might, could, would, and should be, and that ere\nlong.", "I looked at the blank wall: it seemed a sky thick with ascending\nstars,--every one lit me to a purpose or delight.", "Those who had saved my\nlife, whom, till this hour, I had loved barrenly, I could now benefit.", "They were under a yoke,--I could free them: they were scattered,--I could\nreunite them: the independence, the affluence which was mine, might be\ntheirs too.", "Were we not four?", "Twenty thousand pounds shared equally\nwould be five thousand each, justice--enough and to spare: justice would\nbe done,--mutual happiness secured.", "Now the wealth did not weigh on me:\nnow it was not a mere bequest of coin,--it was a legacy of life, hope,\nenjoyment.", "How I looked while these ideas were taking my spirit by storm, I cannot\ntell; but I perceived soon that Mr. Rivers had placed a chair behind me,\nand was gently attempting to make me sit down on it.", "He also advised me\nto be composed; I scorned the insinuation of helplessness and\ndistraction, shook off his hand, and began to walk about again.", "\"Write to Diana and Mary to-morrow,\" I said, \"and tell them to come home\ndirectly.", "Diana said they would both consider themselves rich with a\nthousand pounds, so with five thousand they will do very well.\"", "\"Tell me where I can get you a glass of water,\" said St. John; \"you must\nreally make an effort to tranquillise your feelings.\"", "\"Nonsense!", "and what sort of an effect will the bequest have on you?", "Will\nit keep you in England, induce you to marry Miss Oliver, and settle down\nlike an ordinary mortal?\"", "\"You wander: your head becomes confused.", "I have been too abrupt in\ncommunicating the news; it has excited you beyond your strength.\"", "\"Mr. Rivers!", "you quite put me out of patience: I am rational enough; it\nis you who misunderstand, or rather who affect to misunderstand.\"", "\"Perhaps, if you explained yourself a little more fully, I should\ncomprehend better.\"", "\"Explain!", "What is there to explain?", "You cannot fail to see that twenty\nthousand pounds, the sum in question, divided equally between the nephew\nand three nieces of our uncle, will give five thousand to each?", "What I\nwant is, that you should write to your sisters and tell them of the\nfortune that has accrued to them.\"", "\"To you, you mean.\"", "\"I have intimated my view of the case: I am incapable of taking any\nother.", "I am not brutally selfish, blindly unjust, or fiendishly\nungrateful.", "Besides, I am resolved I will have a home and connections.", "I\nlike Moor House, and I will live at Moor House; I like Diana and Mary,\nand I will attach myself for life to Diana and Mary.", "It would please and\nbenefit me to have five thousand pounds; it would torment and oppress me\nto have twenty thousand; which, moreover, could never be mine in justice,\nthough it might in law.", "I abandon to you, then, what is absolutely\nsuperfluous to me.", "Let there be no opposition, and no discussion about\nit; let us agree amongst each other, and decide the point at once.\"", "\"This is acting on first impulses; you must take days to consider such a\nmatter, ere your word can be regarded as valid.\"", "\"Oh!", "if all you doubt is my sincerity, I am easy: you see the justice of\nthe case?\"", "\"I _do_ see a certain justice; but it is contrary to all custom.", "Besides,\nthe entire fortune is your right: my uncle gained it by his own efforts;\nhe was free to leave it to whom he would: he left it to you.", "After all,\njustice permits you to keep it: you may, with a clear conscience,\nconsider it absolutely your own.\"", "\"With me,\" said I, \"it is fully as much a matter of feeling as of\nconscience: I must indulge my feelings; I so seldom have had an\nopportunity of doing so.", "Were you to argue, object, and annoy me for a\nyear, I could not forego the delicious pleasure of which I have caught a\nglimpse--that of repaying, in part, a mighty obligation, and winning to\nmyself lifelong friends.\"", "\"You think so now,\" rejoined St. John, \"because you do not know what it\nis to possess, nor consequently to enjoy wealth: you cannot form a notion\nof the importance twenty thousand pounds would give you; of the place it\nwould enable you to take in society; of the prospects it would open to\nyou: you cannot--\"\n\n\"And you,\" I interrupted, \"cannot at all imagine the craving I have for\nfraternal and sisterly love.", "I never had a home, I never had brothers or\nsisters; I must and will have them now: you are not reluctant to admit me\nand own me, are you?\"", "\"Jane, I will be your brother--my sisters will be your sisters--without\nstipulating for this sacrifice of your just rights.\"", "\"Brother?", "Yes; at the distance of a thousand leagues!", "Sisters?", "Yes;\nslaving amongst strangers!", "I, wealthy--gorged with gold I never earned\nand do not merit!", "You, penniless!", "Famous equality and fraternisation!", "Close union!", "Intimate attachment!\"", "\"But, Jane, your aspirations after family ties and domestic happiness may\nbe realised otherwise than by the means you contemplate: you may marry.\"", "\"Nonsense, again!", "Marry!", "I don't want to marry, and never shall marry.\"", "\"That is saying too much: such hazardous affirmations are a proof of the\nexcitement under which you labour.\"", "\"It is not saying too much: I know what I feel, and how averse are my\ninclinations to the bare thought of marriage.", "No one would take me for\nlove; and I will not be regarded in the light of a mere money\nspeculation.", "And I do not want a stranger--unsympathising, alien,\ndifferent from me; I want my kindred: those with whom I have full fellow-\nfeeling.", "Say again you will be my brother: when you uttered the words I\nwas satisfied, happy; repeat them, if you can, repeat them sincerely.\"", "\"I think I can.", "I know I have always loved my own sisters; and I know on\nwhat my affection for them is grounded,--respect for their worth and\nadmiration of their talents.", "You too have principle and mind: your\ntastes and habits resemble Diana's and Mary's; your presence is always\nagreeable to me; in your conversation I have already for some time found\na salutary solace.", "I feel I can easily and naturally make room in my\nheart for you, as my third and youngest sister.\"", "\"Thank you: that contents me for to-night.", "Now you had better go; for if\nyou stay longer, you will perhaps irritate me afresh by some mistrustful\nscruple.\"", "\"And the school, Miss Eyre?", "It must now be shut up, I suppose?\"", "\"No.", "I will retain my post of mistress till you get a substitute.\"", "He smiled approbation: we shook hands, and he took leave.", "I need not narrate in detail the further struggles I had, and arguments I\nused, to get matters regarding the legacy settled as I wished.", "My task\nwas a very hard one; but, as I was absolutely resolved--as my cousins saw\nat length that my mind was really and immutably fixed on making a just\ndivision of the property--as they must in their own hearts have felt the\nequity of the intention; and must, besides, have been innately conscious\nthat in my place they would have done precisely what I wished to do--they\nyielded at length so far as to consent to put the affair to arbitration.", "The judges chosen were Mr. Oliver and an able lawyer: both coincided in\nmy opinion: I carried my point.", "The instruments of transfer were drawn\nout: St. John, Diana, Mary, and I, each became possessed of a competency." ]

[ "The next day a keen wind brought fresh and blinding\nfalls; by twilight the valley was drifted up and almost impassable.", "he answered, removing his cloak\nand hanging it up against the door, towards which he again coolly pushed\nthe mat which his entrance had deranged.", "He perhaps knows more of Mr.\nRochester than you do.\"", "Meantime,\nyou forget essential points in pursuing trifles: you do not inquire why\nMr. Briggs sought after you--what he wanted with you.\"", "could not stride the drifts so well as I:\nher legs are not quite so long: so I must e'en leave you to your sorrows.", "A name casually written on a slip of paper has enabled me to find\nher out.", "St. John smiled.", "and what sort of an effect will the bequest have on you?", "You, penniless!", "Marry!" ]

[ "Were we not four?", "you quite put me out of patience: I am rational enough; it\nis you who misunderstand, or rather who affect to misunderstand.\"", "It seems her career\nthere was very honourable: from a pupil, she became a teacher, like\nyourself--really it strikes me there are parallel points in her history\nand yours--she left it to be a governess: there, again, your fates were\nanalogous; she undertook the education of the ward of a certain Mr.", "\n\nWhen Mr. St. John went, it was beginning to snow; the whirling storm\ncontinued all night.", "I don't want to marry, and never shall marry.\"", "It struck me that his hand looked wasted like his face.", "Diana said they would both consider themselves rich with a\nthousand pounds, so with five thousand they will do very well.\"", "could not stride the drifts so well as I:\nher legs are not quite so long: so I must e'en leave you to your sorrows.", "And what opiate for his severe\nsufferings--what object for his strong passions--had he sought there?", "I exclaimed: and indeed there was\nsomething in the hasty and unexplanatory reply which, instead of\nallaying, piqued my curiosity more than ever." ]

[ "\"No mistake at all.\"", "\"Perhaps you have read the figures wrong--it may be two thousand!\"", "\"It is written in letters, not figures,--twenty thousand.\"", "I again felt rather like an individual of but average gastronomical\npowers sitting down to feast alone at a table spread with provisions for\na hundred.", "Mr. Rivers rose now and put his cloak on.", "\"If it were not such a very wild night,\" he said, \"I would send Hannah\ndown to keep you company: you look too desperately miserable to be left\nalone.", "But Hannah, poor woman!", "could not stride the drifts so well as I:\nher legs are not quite so long: so I must e'en leave you to your sorrows.", "Good-night.\"", "He was lifting the latch: a sudden thought occurred to me.", "\"Stop one\nminute!\"" ]

[ "\n\nWhen Mr. St. John went, it was beginning to snow; the whirling storm\ncontinued all night.", "The next day a keen wind brought fresh and blinding\nfalls; by twilight the valley was drifted up and almost impassable.", "I\nhad closed my shutter, laid a mat to the door to prevent the snow from\nblowing in under it, trimmed my fire, and after sitting nearly an hour on\nthe hearth listening to the muffled fury of the tempest, I lit a candle,\ntook down \"Marmion,\" and beginning--\n\n \"Day set on Norham's castled steep,\n And Tweed's fair river broad and deep,\n And Cheviot's mountains lone;\n The massive towers, the donjon keep,\n The flanking walls that round them sweep,\n In yellow lustre shone\"--\n\nI soon forgot storm in music.", "I heard a noise: the wind, I thought, shook the door.", "No; it was St.\nJohn Rivers, who, lifting the latch, came in out of the frozen\nhurricane--the howling darkness--and stood before me: the cloak that\ncovered his tall figure all white as a glacier.", "I was almost in\nconsternation, so little had I expected any guest from the blocked-up\nvale that night.", "\"Any ill news?\"", "I demanded.", "\"Has anything happened?\"", "\"No.", "Now you had better go; for if\nyou stay longer, you will perhaps irritate me afresh by some mistrustful\nscruple.\"", "\"And the school, Miss Eyre?", "It must now be shut up, I suppose?\"", "\"No.", "I will retain my post of mistress till you get a substitute.\"", "He smiled approbation: we shook hands, and he took leave.", "I need not narrate in detail the further struggles I had, and arguments I\nused, to get matters regarding the legacy settled as I wished.", "My task\nwas a very hard one; but, as I was absolutely resolved--as my cousins saw\nat length that my mind was really and immutably fixed on making a just\ndivision of the property--as they must in their own hearts have felt the\nequity of the intention; and must, besides, have been innately conscious\nthat in my place they would have done precisely what I wished to do--they\nyielded at length so far as to consent to put the affair to arbitration.", "The judges chosen were Mr. Oliver and an able lawyer: both coincided in\nmy opinion: I carried my point.", "The instruments of transfer were drawn\nout: St. John, Diana, Mary, and I, each became possessed of a competency." ]

[ "\n\nIt was near Christmas by the time all was settled: the season of general\nholiday approached.", "I now closed Morton school, taking care that the\nparting should not be barren on my side.", "Good fortune opens the hand as\nwell as the heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when we have largely\nreceived, is but to afford a vent to the unusual ebullition of the\nsensations.", "I had long felt with pleasure that many of my rustic\nscholars liked me, and when we parted, that consciousness was confirmed:\nthey manifested their affection plainly and strongly.", "Deep was my\ngratification to find I had really a place in their unsophisticated\nhearts: I promised them that never a week should pass in future that I\ndid not visit them, and give them an hour's teaching in their school.", "Mr. Rivers came up as, having seen the classes, now numbering sixty\ngirls, file out before me, and locked the door, I stood with the key in\nmy hand, exchanging a few words of special farewell with some half-dozen\nof my best scholars: as decent, respectable, modest, and well-informed\nyoung women as could be found in the ranks of the British peasantry.", "And\nthat is saying a great deal; for after all, the British peasantry are the\nbest taught, best mannered, most self-respecting of any in Europe: since\nthose days I have seen paysannes and Bauerinnen; and the best of them\nseemed to me ignorant, coarse, and besotted, compared with my Morton\ngirls.", "\"Do you consider you have got your reward for a season of exertion?\"", "asked Mr. Rivers, when they were gone.", "\"Does not the consciousness of\nhaving done some real good in your day and generation give pleasure?\"", "\"Doubtless.\"", "\"And you have only toiled a few months!", "Would not a life devoted to the\ntask of regenerating your race be well spent?\"", "\"Yes,\" I said; \"but I could not go on for ever so: I want to enjoy my own\nfaculties as well as to cultivate those of other people.", "I must enjoy\nthem now; don't recall either my mind or body to the school; I am out of\nit and disposed for full holiday.\"", "He looked grave.", "\"What now?", "What sudden eagerness is this you evince?", "What are you going to do?\"", "\"To be active: as active as I can.", "And first I must beg you to set\nHannah at liberty, and get somebody else to wait on you.\"", "\"Do you want her?\"", "\"Yes, to go with me to Moor House.", "Diana and Mary will be at home in a\nweek, and I want to have everything in order against their arrival.\"", "\"I understand.", "I thought you were for flying off on some excursion.", "It\nis better so: Hannah shall go with you.\"", "\"Tell her to be ready by to-morrow then; and here is the schoolroom key:\nI will give you the key of my cottage in the morning.\"", "He took it.", "\"You give it up very gleefully,\" said he; \"I don't quite\nunderstand your light-heartedness, because I cannot tell what employment\nyou propose to yourself as a substitute for the one you are\nrelinquishing.", "What aim, what purpose, what ambition in life have you\nnow?\"", "\"My first aim will be to _clean down_ (do you comprehend the full force\nof the expression?)", "--to _clean down_ Moor House from chamber to cellar;\nmy next to rub it up with bees-wax, oil, and an indefinite number of\ncloths, till it glitters again; my third, to arrange every chair, table,\nbed, carpet, with mathematical precision; afterwards I shall go near to\nruin you in coals and peat to keep up good fires in every room; and\nlastly, the two days preceding that on which your sisters are expected\nwill be devoted by Hannah and me to such a beating of eggs, sorting of\ncurrants, grating of spices, compounding of Christmas cakes, chopping up\nof materials for mince-pies, and solemnising of other culinary rites, as\nwords can convey but an inadequate notion of to the uninitiated like you.", "My purpose, in short, is to have all things in an absolutely perfect\nstate of readiness for Diana and Mary before next Thursday; and my\nambition is to give them a beau-ideal of a welcome when they come.\"", "St. John smiled slightly: still he was dissatisfied.", "\"It is all very well for the present,\" said he; \"but seriously, I trust\nthat when the first flush of vivacity is over, you will look a little\nhigher than domestic endearments and household joys.\"", "\"The best things the world has!\"", "I interrupted.", "\"No, Jane, no: this world is not the scene of fruition; do not attempt to\nmake it so: nor of rest; do not turn slothful.\"", "\"I mean, on the contrary, to be busy.\"", "\"Jane, I excuse you for the present: two months' grace I allow you for\nthe full enjoyment of your new position, and for pleasing yourself with\nthis late-found charm of relationship; but _then_, I hope you will begin\nto look beyond Moor House and Morton, and sisterly society, and the\nselfish calm and sensual comfort of civilised affluence.", "I hope your\nenergies will then once more trouble you with their strength.\"", "I looked at him with surprise.", "\"St. John,\" I said, \"I think you are\nalmost wicked to talk so.", "I am disposed to be as content as a queen, and\nyou try to stir me up to restlessness!", "To what end?\"", "\"To the end of turning to profit the talents which God has committed to\nyour keeping; and of which He will surely one day demand a strict\naccount.", "Jane, I shall watch you closely and anxiously--I warn you of\nthat.", "And try to restrain the disproportionate fervour with which you\nthrow yourself into commonplace home pleasures.", "Don't cling so\ntenaciously to ties of the flesh; save your constancy and ardour for an\nadequate cause; forbear to waste them on trite transient objects.", "Do you\nhear, Jane?\"", "\"Yes; just as if you were speaking Greek.", "I feel I have adequate cause\nto be happy, and I _will_ be happy.", "Goodbye!\"", "Happy at Moor House I was, and hard I worked; and so did Hannah: she was\ncharmed to see how jovial I could be amidst the bustle of a house turned\ntopsy-turvy--how I could brush, and dust, and clean, and cook.", "And\nreally, after a day or two of confusion worse confounded, it was\ndelightful by degrees to invoke order from the chaos ourselves had made.", "I had previously taken a journey to S--- to purchase some new furniture:\nmy cousins having given me _carte blanche_ to effect what alterations I\npleased, and a sum having been set aside for that purpose.", "The ordinary\nsitting-room and bedrooms I left much as they were: for I knew Diana and\nMary would derive more pleasure from seeing again the old homely tables,\nand chairs, and beds, than from the spectacle of the smartest\ninnovations.", "Still some novelty was necessary, to give to their return\nthe piquancy with which I wished it to be invested.", "Dark handsome new\ncarpets and curtains, an arrangement of some carefully selected antique\nornaments in porcelain and bronze, new coverings, and mirrors, and\ndressing-cases, for the toilet tables, answered the end: they looked\nfresh without being glaring.", "A spare parlour and bedroom I refurnished\nentirely, with old mahogany and crimson upholstery: I laid canvas on the\npassage, and carpets on the stairs.", "When all was finished, I thought\nMoor House as complete a model of bright modest snugness within, as it\nwas, at this season, a specimen of wintry waste and desert dreariness\nwithout.", "The eventful Thursday at length came.", "They were expected about dark, and\nere dusk fires were lit upstairs and below; the kitchen was in perfect\ntrim; Hannah and I were dressed, and all was in readiness.", "St. John arrived first.", "I had entreated him to keep quite clear of the\nhouse till everything was arranged: and, indeed, the bare idea of the\ncommotion, at once sordid and trivial, going on within its walls sufficed\nto scare him to estrangement.", "He found me in the kitchen, watching the\nprogress of certain cakes for tea, then baking.", "Approaching the hearth,\nhe asked, \"If I was at last satisfied with housemaid's work?\"", "I answered\nby inviting him to accompany me on a general inspection of the result of\nmy labours.", "With some difficulty, I got him to make the tour of the\nhouse.", "He just looked in at the doors I opened; and when he had wandered\nupstairs and downstairs, he said I must have gone through a great deal of\nfatigue and trouble to have effected such considerable changes in so\nshort a time: but not a syllable did he utter indicating pleasure in the\nimproved aspect of his abode.", "This silence damped me.", "I thought perhaps the alterations had disturbed\nsome old associations he valued.", "I inquired whether this was the case:\nno doubt in a somewhat crest-fallen tone.", "\"Not at all; he had, on the contrary, remarked that I had scrupulously\nrespected every association: he feared, indeed, I must have bestowed more\nthought on the matter than it was worth.", "How many minutes, for instance,\nhad I devoted to studying the arrangement of this very room?--By-the-bye,\ncould I tell him where such a book was?\"", "I showed him the volume on the shelf: he took it down, and withdrawing to\nhis accustomed window recess, he began to read it.", "Now, I did not like this, reader.", "St. John was a good man; but I began\nto feel he had spoken truth of himself when he said he was hard and cold.", "The humanities and amenities of life had no attraction for him--its\npeaceful enjoyments no charm.", "Literally, he lived only to aspire--after\nwhat was good and great, certainly; but still he would never rest, nor\napprove of others resting round him.", "As I looked at his lofty forehead,\nstill and pale as a white stone--at his fine lineaments fixed in study--I\ncomprehended all at once that he would hardly make a good husband: that\nit would be a trying thing to be his wife.", "I understood, as by\ninspiration, the nature of his love for Miss Oliver; I agreed with him\nthat it was but a love of the senses.", "I comprehended how he should\ndespise himself for the feverish influence it exercised over him; how he\nshould wish to stifle and destroy it; how he should mistrust its ever\nconducting permanently to his happiness or hers.", "I saw he was of the\nmaterial from which nature hews her heroes--Christian and Pagan--her\nlawgivers, her statesmen, her conquerors: a steadfast bulwark for great\ninterests to rest upon; but, at the fireside, too often a cold cumbrous\ncolumn, gloomy and out of place.", "\"This parlour is not his sphere,\" I reflected: \"the Himalayan ridge or\nCaffre bush, even the plague-cursed Guinea Coast swamp would suit him\nbetter.", "Well may he eschew the calm of domestic life; it is not his\nelement: there his faculties stagnate--they cannot develop or appear to\nadvantage.", "It is in scenes of strife and danger--where courage is\nproved, and energy exercised, and fortitude tasked--that he will speak\nand move, the leader and superior.", "A merry child would have the\nadvantage of him on this hearth.", "He is right to choose a missionary's\ncareer--I see it now.\"", "\"They are coming!", "they are coming!\"", "cried Hannah, throwing open the\nparlour door.", "At the same moment old Carlo barked joyfully.", "Out I ran.", "It was now dark; but a rumbling of wheels was audible.", "Hannah soon had a\nlantern lit.", "The vehicle had stopped at the wicket; the driver opened\nthe door: first one well-known form, then another, stepped out.", "In a\nminute I had my face under their bonnets, in contact first with Mary's\nsoft cheek, then with Diana's flowing curls.", "They laughed--kissed\nme--then Hannah: patted Carlo, who was half wild with delight; asked\neagerly if all was well; and being assured in the affirmative, hastened\ninto the house.", "They were stiff with their long and jolting drive from Whitcross, and\nchilled with the frosty night air; but their pleasant countenances\nexpanded to the cheerful firelight.", "While the driver and Hannah brought\nin the boxes, they demanded St. John.", "At this moment he advanced from\nthe parlour.", "They both threw their arms round his neck at once.", "He gave\neach one quiet kiss, said in a low tone a few words of welcome, stood a\nwhile to be talked to, and then, intimating that he supposed they would\nsoon rejoin him in the parlour, withdrew there as to a place of refuge.", "I had lit their candles to go upstairs, but Diana had first to give\nhospitable orders respecting the driver; this done, both followed me.", "They were delighted with the renovation and decorations of their rooms;\nwith the new drapery, and fresh carpets, and rich tinted china vases:\nthey expressed their gratification ungrudgingly.", "I had the pleasure of\nfeeling that my arrangements met their wishes exactly, and that what I\nhad done added a vivid charm to their joyous return home.", "Sweet was that evening.", "My cousins, full of exhilaration, were so\neloquent in narrative and comment, that their fluency covered St. John's\ntaciturnity: he was sincerely glad to see his sisters; but in their glow\nof fervour and flow of joy he could not sympathise.", "The event of the\nday--that is, the return of Diana and Mary--pleased him; but the\naccompaniments of that event, the glad tumult, the garrulous glee of\nreception irked him: I saw he wished the calmer morrow was come.", "In the\nvery meridian of the night's enjoyment, about an hour after tea, a rap\nwas heard at the door.", "Hannah entered with the intimation that \"a poor\nlad was come, at that unlikely time, to fetch Mr. Rivers to see his\nmother, who was drawing away.\"", "\"Where does she live, Hannah?\"", "\"Clear up at Whitcross Brow, almost four miles off, and moor and moss all\nthe way.\"", "\"Tell him I will go.\"", "\"I'm sure, sir, you had better not.", "It's the worst road to travel after\ndark that can be: there's no track at all over the bog.", "And then it is\nsuch a bitter night--the keenest wind you ever felt.", "You had better send\nword, sir, that you will be there in the morning.\"", "But he was already in the passage, putting on his cloak; and without one\nobjection, one murmur, he departed.", "It was then nine o'clock: he did not\nreturn till midnight.", "Starved and tired enough he was: but he looked\nhappier than when he set out.", "He had performed an act of duty; made an\nexertion; felt his own strength to do and deny, and was on better terms\nwith himself.", "I am afraid the whole of the ensuing week tried his patience.", "It was\nChristmas week: we took to no settled employment, but spent it in a sort\nof merry domestic dissipation.", "The air of the moors, the freedom of\nhome, the dawn of prosperity, acted on Diana and Mary's spirits like some\nlife-giving elixir: they were gay from morning till noon, and from noon\ntill night.", "They could always talk; and their discourse, witty, pithy,\noriginal, had such charms for me, that I preferred listening to, and\nsharing in it, to doing anything else.", "St. John did not rebuke our\nvivacity; but he escaped from it: he was seldom in the house; his parish\nwas large, the population scattered, and he found daily business in\nvisiting the sick and poor in its different districts.", "One morning at breakfast, Diana, after looking a little pensive for some\nminutes, asked him, \"If his plans were yet unchanged.\"", "\"Unchanged and unchangeable,\" was the reply.", "And he proceeded to inform\nus that his departure from England was now definitively fixed for the\nensuing year.", "\"And Rosamond Oliver?\"", "suggested Mary, the words seeming to escape her\nlips involuntarily: for no sooner had she uttered them, than she made a\ngesture as if wishing to recall them.", "St. John had a book in his hand--it\nwas his unsocial custom to read at meals--he closed it, and looked up.", "\"Rosamond Oliver,\" said he, \"is about to be married to Mr. Granby, one of\nthe best connected and most estimable residents in S-, grandson and heir\nto Sir Frederic Granby: I had the intelligence from her father\nyesterday.\"", "His sisters looked at each other and at me; we all three looked at him:\nhe was serene as glass.", "\"The match must have been got up hastily,\" said Diana: \"they cannot have\nknown each other long.\"", "\"But two months: they met in October at the county ball at S-.", "But where\nthere are no obstacles to a union, as in the present case, where the\nconnection is in every point desirable, delays are unnecessary: they will\nbe married as soon as S--- Place, which Sir Frederic gives up to them,\ncan he refitted for their reception.\"", "The first time I found St. John alone after this communication, I felt\ntempted to inquire if the event distressed him: but he seemed so little\nto need sympathy, that, so far from venturing to offer him more, I\nexperienced some shame at the recollection of what I had already\nhazarded.", "Besides, I was out of practice in talking to him: his reserve\nwas again frozen over, and my frankness was congealed beneath it.", "He had\nnot kept his promise of treating me like his sisters; he continually made\nlittle chilling differences between us, which did not at all tend to the\ndevelopment of cordiality: in short, now that I was acknowledged his\nkinswoman, and lived under the same roof with him, I felt the distance\nbetween us to be far greater than when he had known me only as the\nvillage schoolmistress.", "When I remembered how far I had once been\nadmitted to his confidence, I could hardly comprehend his present\nfrigidity.", "Such being the case, I felt not a little surprised when he raised his\nhead suddenly from the desk over which he was stooping, and said--\n\n\"You see, Jane, the battle is fought and the victory won.\"", "Startled at being thus addressed, I did not immediately reply: after a\nmoment's hesitation I answered--\n\n\"But are you sure you are not in the position of those conquerors whose\ntriumphs have cost them too dear?", "Would not such another ruin you?\"", "\"I think not; and if I were, it does not much signify; I shall never be\ncalled upon to contend for such another.", "The event of the conflict is\ndecisive: my way is now clear; I thank God for it!\"", "So saying, he\nreturned to his papers and his silence.", "As our mutual happiness (_i.e._, Diana's, Mary's, and mine) settled into\na quieter character, and we resumed our usual habits and regular studies,\nSt. John stayed more at home: he sat with us in the same room, sometimes\nfor hours together.", "While Mary drew, Diana pursued a course of\nencyclopaedic reading she had (to my awe and amazement) undertaken, and I\nfagged away at German, he pondered a mystic lore of his own: that of some\nEastern tongue, the acquisition of which he thought necessary to his\nplans.", "Thus engaged, he appeared, sitting in his own recess, quiet and absorbed\nenough; but that blue eye of his had a habit of leaving the outlandish-\nlooking grammar, and wandering over, and sometimes fixing upon us, his\nfellow-students, with a curious intensity of observation: if caught, it\nwould be instantly withdrawn; yet ever and anon, it returned searchingly\nto our table.", "I wondered what it meant: I wondered, too, at the punctual\nsatisfaction he never failed to exhibit on an occasion that seemed to me\nof small moment, namely, my weekly visit to Morton school; and still more\nwas I puzzled when, if the day was unfavourable, if there was snow, or\nrain, or high wind, and his sisters urged me not to go, he would\ninvariably make light of their solicitude, and encourage me to accomplish\nthe task without regard to the elements.", "\"Jane is not such a weakling as you would make her,\" he would say: \"she\ncan bear a mountain blast, or a shower, or a few flakes of snow, as well\nas any of us.", "Her constitution is both sound and elastic;--better\ncalculated to endure variations of climate than many more robust.\"", "And when I returned, sometimes a good deal tired, and not a little\nweather-beaten, I never dared complain, because I saw that to murmur\nwould be to vex him: on all occasions fortitude pleased him; the reverse\nwas a special annoyance.", "One afternoon, however, I got leave to stay at home, because I really had\na cold.", "His sisters were gone to Morton in my stead: I sat reading\nSchiller; he, deciphering his crabbed Oriental scrolls.", "As I exchanged a\ntranslation for an exercise, I happened to look his way: there I found\nmyself under the influence of the ever-watchful blue eye.", "How long it\nhad been searching me through and through, and over and over, I cannot\ntell: so keen was it, and yet so cold, I felt for the moment\nsuperstitious--as if I were sitting in the room with something uncanny.", "\"Jane, what are you doing?\"", "\"Learning German.\"", "\"I want you to give up German and learn Hindostanee.\"", "\"You are not in earnest?\"", "\"In such earnest that I must have it so: and I will tell you why.\"", "He then went on to explain that Hindostanee was the language he was\nhimself at present studying; that, as he advanced, he was apt to forget\nthe commencement; that it would assist him greatly to have a pupil with\nwhom he might again and again go over the elements, and so fix them\nthoroughly in his mind; that his choice had hovered for some time between\nme and his sisters; but that he had fixed on me because he saw I could\nsit at a task the longest of the three.", "Would I do him this favour?", "I\nshould not, perhaps, have to make the sacrifice long, as it wanted now\nbarely three months to his departure.", "St. John was not a man to be lightly refused: you felt that every\nimpression made on him, either for pain or pleasure, was deep-graved and\npermanent.", "I consented.", "When Diana and Mary returned, the former found\nher scholar transferred from her to her brother: she laughed, and both\nshe and Mary agreed that St. John should never have persuaded them to\nsuch a step.", "He answered quietly--\n\n\"I know it.\"", "I found him a very patient, very forbearing, and yet an exacting master:\nhe expected me to do a great deal; and when I fulfilled his expectations,\nhe, in his own way, fully testified his approbation.", "By degrees, he\nacquired a certain influence over me that took away my liberty of mind:\nhis praise and notice were more restraining than his indifference.", "I\ncould no longer talk or laugh freely when he was by, because a tiresomely\nimportunate instinct reminded me that vivacity (at least in me) was\ndistasteful to him.", "I was so fully aware that only serious moods and\noccupations were acceptable, that in his presence every effort to sustain\nor follow any other became vain: I fell under a freezing spell.", "When he\nsaid \"go,\" I went; \"come,\" I came; \"do this,\" I did it.", "But I did not\nlove my servitude: I wished, many a time, he had continued to neglect me.", "One evening when, at bedtime, his sisters and I stood round him, bidding\nhim good-night, he kissed each of them, as was his custom; and, as was\nequally his custom, he gave me his hand.", "Diana, who chanced to be in a\nfrolicsome humour (_she_ was not painfully controlled by his will; for\nhers, in another way, was as strong), exclaimed--\n\n\"St. John!", "you used to call Jane your third sister, but you don't treat\nher as such: you should kiss her too.\"", "She pushed me towards him.", "I thought Diana very provoking, and felt\nuncomfortably confused; and while I was thus thinking and feeling, St.\nJohn bent his head; his Greek face was brought to a level with mine, his\neyes questioned my eyes piercingly--he kissed me.", "There are no such\nthings as marble kisses or ice kisses, or I should say my ecclesiastical\ncousin's salute belonged to one of these classes; but there may be\nexperiment kisses, and his was an experiment kiss.", "When given, he viewed\nme to learn the result; it was not striking: I am sure I did not blush;\nperhaps I might have turned a little pale, for I felt as if this kiss\nwere a seal affixed to my fetters.", "He never omitted the ceremony\nafterwards, and the gravity and quiescence with which I underwent it,\nseemed to invest it for him with a certain charm.", "As for me, I daily wished more to please him; but to do so, I felt daily\nmore and more that I must disown half my nature, stifle half my\nfaculties, wrest my tastes from their original bent, force myself to the\nadoption of pursuits for which I had no natural vocation.", "He wanted to\ntrain me to an elevation I could never reach; it racked me hourly to\naspire to the standard he uplifted.", "The thing was as impossible as to\nmould my irregular features to his correct and classic pattern, to give\nto my changeable green eyes the sea-blue tint and solemn lustre of his\nown.", "Not his ascendancy alone, however, held me in thrall at present.", "Of late\nit had been easy enough for me to look sad: a cankering evil sat at my\nheart and drained my happiness at its source--the evil of suspense.", "Perhaps you think I had forgotten Mr. Rochester, reader, amidst these\nchanges of place and fortune.", "Not for a moment.", "His idea was still with\nme, because it was not a vapour sunshine could disperse, nor a\nsand-traced effigy storms could wash away; it was a name graven on a\ntablet, fated to last as long as the marble it inscribed.", "The craving to\nknow what had become of him followed me everywhere; when I was at Morton,\nI re-entered my cottage every evening to think of that; and now at Moor\nHouse, I sought my bedroom each night to brood over it.", "In the course of my necessary correspondence with Mr. Briggs about the\nwill, I had inquired if he knew anything of Mr. Rochester's present\nresidence and state of health; but, as St. John had conjectured, he was\nquite ignorant of all concerning him.", "I then wrote to Mrs. Fairfax,\nentreating information on the subject.", "I had calculated with certainty\non this step answering my end: I felt sure it would elicit an early\nanswer.", "I was astonished when a fortnight passed without reply; but when\ntwo months wore away, and day after day the post arrived and brought\nnothing for me, I fell a prey to the keenest anxiety.", "I wrote again: there was a chance of my first letter having missed.", "Renewed hope followed renewed effort: it shone like the former for some\nweeks, then, like it, it faded, flickered: not a line, not a word reached\nme.", "When half a year wasted in vain expectancy, my hope died out, and\nthen I felt dark indeed.", "A fine spring shone round me, which I could not enjoy.", "Summer\napproached; Diana tried to cheer me: she said I looked ill, and wished to\naccompany me to the sea-side.", "This St. John opposed; he said I did not\nwant dissipation, I wanted employment; my present life was too\npurposeless, I required an aim; and, I suppose, by way of supplying\ndeficiencies, he prolonged still further my lessons in Hindostanee, and\ngrew more urgent in requiring their accomplishment: and I, like a fool,\nnever thought of resisting him--I could not resist him.", "One day I had come to my studies in lower spirits than usual; the ebb was\noccasioned by a poignantly felt disappointment.", "Hannah had told me in\nthe morning there was a letter for me, and when I went down to take it,\nalmost certain that the long-looked for tidings were vouchsafed me at\nlast, I found only an unimportant note from Mr. Briggs on business.", "The\nbitter check had wrung from me some tears; and now, as I sat poring over\nthe crabbed characters and flourishing tropes of an Indian scribe, my\neyes filled again.", "St. John called me to his side to read; in attempting to do this my voice\nfailed me: words were lost in sobs.", "He and I were the only occupants of\nthe parlour: Diana was practising her music in the drawing-room, Mary was\ngardening--it was a very fine May day, clear, sunny, and breezy.", "My\ncompanion expressed no surprise at this emotion, nor did he question me\nas to its cause; he only said--\n\n\"We will wait a few minutes, Jane, till you are more composed.\"", "And\nwhile I smothered the paroxysm with all haste, he sat calm and patient,\nleaning on his desk, and looking like a physician watching with the eye\nof science an expected and fully understood crisis in a patient's malady.", "Having stifled my sobs, wiped my eyes, and muttered something about not\nbeing very well that morning, I resumed my task, and succeeded in\ncompleting it.", "St. John put away my books and his, locked his desk, and\nsaid--\n\n\"Now, Jane, you shall take a walk; and with me.\"", "\"I will call Diana and Mary.\"", "\"No; I want only one companion this morning, and that must be you.", "Put\non your things; go out by the kitchen-door: take the road towards the\nhead of Marsh Glen: I will join you in a moment.\"", "I know no medium: I never in my life have known any medium in my dealings\nwith positive, hard characters, antagonistic to my own, between absolute\nsubmission and determined revolt.", "I have always faithfully observed the\none, up to the very moment of bursting, sometimes with volcanic\nvehemence, into the other; and as neither present circumstances\nwarranted, nor my present mood inclined me to mutiny, I observed careful\nobedience to St. John's directions; and in ten minutes I was treading the\nwild track of the glen, side by side with him.", "The breeze was from the west: it came over the hills, sweet with scents\nof heath and rush; the sky was of stainless blue; the stream descending\nthe ravine, swelled with past spring rains, poured along plentiful and\nclear, catching golden gleams from the sun, and sapphire tints from the\nfirmament.", "As we advanced and left the track, we trod a soft turf, mossy\nfine and emerald green, minutely enamelled with a tiny white flower, and\nspangled with a star-like yellow blossom: the hills, meantime, shut us\nquite in; for the glen, towards its head, wound to their very core.", "\"Let us rest here,\" said St. John, as we reached the first stragglers of\na battalion of rocks, guarding a sort of pass, beyond which the beck\nrushed down a waterfall; and where, still a little farther, the mountain\nshook off turf and flower, had only heath for raiment and crag for\ngem--where it exaggerated the wild to the savage, and exchanged the fresh\nfor the frowning--where it guarded the forlorn hope of solitude, and a\nlast refuge for silence.", "I took a seat: St. John stood near me.", "He looked up the pass and down\nthe hollow; his glance wandered away with the stream, and returned to\ntraverse the unclouded heaven which coloured it: he removed his hat, let\nthe breeze stir his hair and kiss his brow.", "He seemed in communion with\nthe genius of the haunt: with his eye he bade farewell to something.", "\"And I shall see it again,\" he said aloud, \"in dreams when I sleep by the\nGanges: and again in a more remote hour--when another slumber overcomes\nme--on the shore of a darker stream!\"", "Strange words of a strange love!", "An austere patriot's passion for his\nfatherland!", "He sat down; for half-an-hour we never spoke; neither he to\nme nor I to him: that interval past, he recommenced--\n\n\"Jane, I go in six weeks; I have taken my berth in an East Indiaman which\nsails on the 20th of June.\"", "\"God will protect you; for you have undertaken His work,\" I answered.", "\"Yes,\" said he, \"there is my glory and joy.", "I am the servant of an\ninfallible Master.", "I am not going out under human guidance, subject to\nthe defective laws and erring control of my feeble fellow-worms: my king,\nmy lawgiver, my captain, is the All-perfect.", "It seems strange to me that\nall round me do not burn to enlist under the same banner,--to join in the\nsame enterprise.\"", "\"All have not your powers, and it would be folly for the feeble to wish\nto march with the strong.\"", "\"I do not speak to the feeble, or think of them: I address only such as\nare worthy of the work, and competent to accomplish it.\"", "\"Those are few in number, and difficult to discover.\"", "\"You say truly; but when found, it is right to stir them up--to urge and\nexhort them to the effort--to show them what their gifts are, and why\nthey were given--to speak Heaven's message in their ear,--to offer them,\ndirect from God, a place in the ranks of His chosen.\"", "\"If they are really qualified for the task, will not their own hearts be\nthe first to inform them of it?\"", "I felt as if an awful charm was framing round and gathering over me: I\ntrembled to hear some fatal word spoken which would at once declare and\nrivet the spell.", "\"And what does _your_ heart say?\"", "demanded St. John.", "\"My heart is mute,--my heart is mute,\" I answered, struck and thrilled.", "\"Then I must speak for it,\" continued the deep, relentless voice.", "\"Jane,\ncome with me to India: come as my helpmeet and fellow-labourer.\"", "The glen and sky spun round: the hills heaved!", "It was as if I had heard\na summons from Heaven--as if a visionary messenger, like him of\nMacedonia, had enounced, \"Come over and help us!\"", "But I was no\napostle,--I could not behold the herald,--I could not receive his call.", "\"Oh, St.", "John!\"", "I cried, \"have some mercy!\"", "I appealed to one who, in the discharge of what he believed his duty,\nknew neither mercy nor remorse.", "He continued--\n\n\"God and nature intended you for a missionary's wife.", "It is not\npersonal, but mental endowments they have given you: you are formed for\nlabour, not for love.", "A missionary's wife you must--shall be.", "You shall\nbe mine: I claim you--not for my pleasure, but for my Sovereign's\nservice.\"", "\"I am not fit for it: I have no vocation,\" I said.", "He had calculated on these first objections: he was not irritated by\nthem.", "Indeed, as he leaned back against the crag behind him, folded his\narms on his chest, and fixed his countenance, I saw he was prepared for a\nlong and trying opposition, and had taken in a stock of patience to last\nhim to its close--resolved, however, that that close should be conquest\nfor him.", "\"Humility, Jane,\" said he, \"is the groundwork of Christian virtues: you\nsay right that you are not fit for the work.", "Who is fit for it?", "Or who,\nthat ever was truly called, believed himself worthy of the summons?", "I,\nfor instance, am but dust and ashes.", "With St. Paul, I acknowledge myself\nthe chiefest of sinners; but I do not suffer this sense of my personal\nvileness to daunt me.", "I know my Leader: that He is just as well as\nmighty; and while He has chosen a feeble instrument to perform a great\ntask, He will, from the boundless stores of His providence, supply the\ninadequacy of the means to the end.", "Think like me, Jane--trust like me.", "It is the Rock of Ages I ask you to lean on: do not doubt but it will\nbear the weight of your human weakness.\"", "\"I do not understand a missionary life: I have never studied missionary\nlabours.\"", "\"There I, humble as I am, can give you the aid you want: I can set you\nyour task from hour to hour; stand by you always; help you from moment to\nmoment.", "This I could do in the beginning: soon (for I know your powers)\nyou would be as strong and apt as myself, and would not require my help.\"", "\"But my powers--where are they for this undertaking?", "I do not feel them.", "Nothing speaks or stirs in me while you talk.", "I am sensible of no light\nkindling--no life quickening--no voice counselling or cheering.", "Oh, I\nwish I could make you see how much my mind is at this moment like a\nrayless dungeon, with one shrinking fear fettered in its depths--the fear\nof being persuaded by you to attempt what I cannot accomplish!\"", "\"I have an answer for you--hear it.", "I have watched you ever since we\nfirst met: I have made you my study for ten months.", "I have proved you in\nthat time by sundry tests: and what have I seen and elicited?", "In the\nvillage school I found you could perform well, punctually, uprightly,\nlabour uncongenial to your habits and inclinations; I saw you could\nperform it with capacity and tact: you could win while you controlled.", "In\nthe calm with which you learnt you had become suddenly rich, I read a\nmind clear of the vice of Demas:--lucre had no undue power over you.", "In\nthe resolute readiness with which you cut your wealth into four shares,\nkeeping but one to yourself, and relinquishing the three others to the\nclaim of abstract justice, I recognised a soul that revelled in the flame\nand excitement of sacrifice.", "In the tractability with which, at my wish,\nyou forsook a study in which you were interested, and adopted another\nbecause it interested me; in the untiring assiduity with which you have\nsince persevered in it--in the unflagging energy and unshaken temper with\nwhich you have met its difficulties--I acknowledge the complement of the\nqualities I seek.", "Jane, you are docile, diligent, disinterested,\nfaithful, constant, and courageous; very gentle, and very heroic: cease\nto mistrust yourself--I can trust you unreservedly.", "As a conductress of\nIndian schools, and a helper amongst Indian women, your assistance will\nbe to me invaluable.\"", "My iron shroud contracted round me; persuasion advanced with slow sure\nstep.", "Shut my eyes as I would, these last words of his succeeded in\nmaking the way, which had seemed blocked up, comparatively clear.", "My\nwork, which had appeared so vague, so hopelessly diffuse, condensed\nitself as he proceeded, and assumed a definite form under his shaping\nhand.", "He waited for an answer.", "I demanded a quarter of an hour to\nthink, before I again hazarded a reply.", "\"Very willingly,\" he rejoined; and rising, he strode a little distance up\nthe pass, threw himself down on a swell of heath, and there lay still.", "{He threw himself down on a swell of heath, and there lay still:\np389.jpg}\n\n\"I _can_ do what he wants me to do: I am forced to see and acknowledge\nthat,\" I meditated,--\"that is, if life be spared me.", "But I feel mine is\nnot the existence to be long protracted under an Indian sun.", "What then?", "He does not care for that: when my time came to die, he would resign me,\nin all serenity and sanctity, to the God who gave me.", "The case is very\nplain before me.", "In leaving England, I should leave a loved but empty\nland--Mr. Rochester is not there; and if he were, what is, what can that\never be to me?", "My business is to live without him now: nothing so\nabsurd, so weak as to drag on from day to day, as if I were waiting some\nimpossible change in circumstances, which might reunite me to him.", "Of\ncourse (as St. John once said) I must seek another interest in life to\nreplace the one lost: is not the occupation he now offers me truly the\nmost glorious man can adopt or God assign?", "Is it not, by its noble cares\nand sublime results, the one best calculated to fill the void left by\nuptorn affections and demolished hopes?", "I believe I must say, Yes--and\nyet I shudder.", "Alas!", "If I join St. John, I abandon half myself: if I go\nto India, I go to premature death.", "And how will the interval between\nleaving England for India, and India for the grave, be filled?", "Oh, I\nknow well!", "That, too, is very clear to my vision.", "By straining to\nsatisfy St. John till my sinews ache, I _shall_ satisfy him--to the\nfinest central point and farthest outward circle of his expectations.", "If\nI _do_ go with him--if I _do_ make the sacrifice he urges, I will make it\nabsolutely: I will throw all on the altar--heart, vitals, the entire\nvictim.", "He will never love me; but he shall approve me; I will show him\nenergies he has not yet seen, resources he has never suspected.", "Yes, I\ncan work as hard as he can, and with as little grudging.", "\"Consent, then, to his demand is possible: but for one item--one dreadful\nitem.", "It is--that he asks me to be his wife, and has no more of a\nhusband's heart for me than that frowning giant of a rock, down which the\nstream is foaming in yonder gorge.", "He prizes me as a soldier would a\ngood weapon; and that is all.", "Unmarried to him, this would never grieve\nme; but can I let him complete his calculations--coolly put into practice\nhis plans--go through the wedding ceremony?", "Can I receive from him the\nbridal ring, endure all the forms of love (which I doubt not he would\nscrupulously observe) and know that the spirit was quite absent?", "Can I\nbear the consciousness that every endearment he bestows is a sacrifice\nmade on principle?", "No: such a martyrdom would be monstrous.", "I will\nnever undergo it.", "As his sister, I might accompany him--not as his wife:\nI will tell him so.\"", "I looked towards the knoll: there he lay, still as a prostrate column;\nhis face turned to me: his eye beaming watchful and keen.", "He started to\nhis feet and approached me.", "\"I am ready to go to India, if I may go free.\"", "\"Your answer requires a commentary,\" he said; \"it is not clear.\"", "\"You have hitherto been my adopted brother--I, your adopted sister: let\nus continue as such: you and I had better not marry.\"", "He shook his head.", "\"Adopted fraternity will not do in this case.", "If you\nwere my real sister it would be different: I should take you, and seek no\nwife.", "But as it is, either our union must be consecrated and sealed by\nmarriage, or it cannot exist: practical obstacles oppose themselves to\nany other plan.", "Do you not see it, Jane?", "Consider a moment--your strong\nsense will guide you.\"", "I did consider; and still my sense, such as it was, directed me only to\nthe fact that we did not love each other as man and wife should: and\ntherefore it inferred we ought not to marry.", "I said so.", "\"St. John,\" I\nreturned, \"I regard you as a brother--you, me as a sister: so let us\ncontinue.\"", "\"We cannot--we cannot,\" he answered, with short, sharp determination: \"it\nwould not do.", "You have said you will go with me to India: remember--you\nhave said that.\"", "\"Conditionally.\"", "\"Well--well.", "To the main point--the departure with me from England, the\nco-operation with me in my future labours--you do not object.", "You have\nalready as good as put your hand to the plough: you are too consistent to\nwithdraw it.", "You have but one end to keep in view--how the work you have\nundertaken can best be done.", "Simplify your complicated interests,\nfeelings, thoughts, wishes, aims; merge all considerations in one\npurpose: that of fulfilling with effect--with power--the mission of your\ngreat Master.", "To do so, you must have a coadjutor: not a brother--that\nis a loose tie--but a husband.", "I, too, do not want a sister: a sister\nmight any day be taken from me.", "I want a wife: the sole helpmeet I can\ninfluence efficiently in life, and retain absolutely till death.\"", "I shuddered as he spoke: I felt his influence in my marrow--his hold on\nmy limbs.", "\"Seek one elsewhere than in me, St. John: seek one fitted to you.\"", "\"One fitted to my purpose, you mean--fitted to my vocation.", "Again I tell\nyou it is not the insignificant private individual--the mere man, with\nthe man's selfish senses--I wish to mate: it is the missionary.\"", "\"And I will give the missionary my energies--it is all he wants--but not\nmyself: that would be only adding the husk and shell to the kernel.", "For\nthem he has no use: I retain them.\"", "\"You cannot--you ought not.", "Do you think God will be satisfied with half\nan oblation?", "Will He accept a mutilated sacrifice?", "It is the cause of\nGod I advocate: it is under His standard I enlist you.", "I cannot accept\non His behalf a divided allegiance: it must be entire.\"", "\"Oh!", "I will give my heart to God,\" I said.", "\"_You_ do not want it.\"", "I will not swear, reader, that there was not something of repressed\nsarcasm both in the tone in which I uttered this sentence, and in the\nfeeling that accompanied it.", "I had silently feared St. John till now,\nbecause I had not understood him.", "He had held me in awe, because he had\nheld me in doubt.", "How much of him was saint, how much mortal, I could\nnot heretofore tell: but revelations were being made in this conference:\nthe analysis of his nature was proceeding before my eyes.", "I saw his\nfallibilities: I comprehended them.", "I understood that, sitting there\nwhere I did, on the bank of heath, and with that handsome form before me,\nI sat at the feet of a man, caring as I.", "The veil fell from his hardness\nand despotism.", "Having felt in him the presence of these qualities, I\nfelt his imperfection and took courage.", "I was with an equal--one with\nwhom I might argue--one whom, if I saw good, I might resist.", "He was silent after I had uttered the last sentence, and I presently\nrisked an upward glance at his countenance.", "His eye, bent on me, expressed at once stern surprise and keen inquiry.", "\"Is she sarcastic, and sarcastic to _me_!\"", "it seemed to say.", "\"What does\nthis signify?\"", "\"Do not let us forget that this is a solemn matter,\" he said ere long;\n\"one of which we may neither think nor talk lightly without sin.", "I\ntrust, Jane, you are in earnest when you say you will serve your heart to\nGod: it is all I want.", "Once wrench your heart from man, and fix it on\nyour Maker, the advancement of that Maker's spiritual kingdom on earth\nwill be your chief delight and endeavour; you will be ready to do at once\nwhatever furthers that end.", "You will see what impetus would be given to\nyour efforts and mine by our physical and mental union in marriage: the\nonly union that gives a character of permanent conformity to the\ndestinies and designs of human beings; and, passing over all minor\ncaprices--all trivial difficulties and delicacies of feeling--all scruple\nabout the degree, kind, strength or tenderness of mere personal\ninclination--you will hasten to enter into that union at once.\"", "\"Shall I?\"", "I said briefly; and I looked at his features, beautiful in\ntheir harmony, but strangely formidable in their still severity; at his\nbrow, commanding but not open; at his eyes, bright and deep and\nsearching, but never soft; at his tall imposing figure; and fancied\nmyself in idea _his wife_.", "Oh!", "it would never do!", "As his curate, his\ncomrade, all would be right: I would cross oceans with him in that\ncapacity; toil under Eastern suns, in Asian deserts with him in that\noffice; admire and emulate his courage and devotion and vigour;\naccommodate quietly to his masterhood; smile undisturbed at his\nineradicable ambition; discriminate the Christian from the man:\nprofoundly esteem the one, and freely forgive the other.", "I should suffer\noften, no doubt, attached to him only in this capacity: my body would be\nunder rather a stringent yoke, but my heart and mind would be free.", "I\nshould still have my unblighted self to turn to: my natural unenslaved\nfeelings with which to communicate in moments of loneliness.", "There would\nbe recesses in my mind which would be only mine, to which he never came,\nand sentiments growing there fresh and sheltered which his austerity\ncould never blight, nor his measured warrior-march trample down: but as\nhis wife--at his side always, and always restrained, and always\nchecked--forced to keep the fire of my nature continually low, to compel\nit to burn inwardly and never utter a cry, though the imprisoned flame\nconsumed vital after vital--_this_ would be unendurable.", "\"St.", "John!\"", "I exclaimed, when I had got so far in my meditation.", "\"Well?\"", "he answered icily.", "\"I repeat I freely consent to go with you as your fellow-missionary, but\nnot as your wife; I cannot marry you and become part of you.\"", "\"A part of me you must become,\" he answered steadily; \"otherwise the\nwhole bargain is void.", "How can I, a man not yet thirty, take out with me\nto India a girl of nineteen, unless she be married to me?", "How can we be\nfor ever together--sometimes in solitudes, sometimes amidst savage\ntribes--and unwed?\"", "\"Very well,\" I said shortly; \"under the circumstances, quite as well as\nif I were either your real sister, or a man and a clergyman like\nyourself.\"", "\"It is known that you are not my sister; I cannot introduce you as such:\nto attempt it would be to fasten injurious suspicions on us both.", "And\nfor the rest, though you have a man's vigorous brain, you have a woman's\nheart and--it would not do.\"", "\"It would do,\" I affirmed with some disdain, \"perfectly well.", "I have a\nwoman's heart, but not where you are concerned; for you I have only a\ncomrade's constancy; a fellow-soldier's frankness, fidelity, fraternity,\nif you like; a neophyte's respect and submission to his hierophant:\nnothing more--don't fear.\"", "\"It is what I want,\" he said, speaking to himself; \"it is just what I\nwant.", "And there are obstacles in the way: they must be hewn down.", "Jane,\nyou would not repent marrying me--be certain of that; we _must_ be\nmarried.", "I repeat it: there is no other way; and undoubtedly enough of\nlove would follow upon marriage to render the union right even in your\neyes.\"", "\"I scorn your idea of love,\" I could not help saying, as I rose up and\nstood before him, leaning my back against the rock.", "\"I scorn the\ncounterfeit sentiment you offer: yes, St. John, and I scorn you when you\noffer it.\"", "He looked at me fixedly, compressing his well-cut lips while he did so.", "Whether he was incensed or surprised, or what, it was not easy to tell:\nhe could command his countenance thoroughly.", "\"I scarcely expected to hear that expression from you,\" he said: \"I think\nI have done and uttered nothing to deserve scorn.\"", "I was touched by his gentle tone, and overawed by his high, calm mien.", "\"Forgive me the words, St. John; but it is your own fault that I have\nbeen roused to speak so unguardedly.", "You have introduced a topic on\nwhich our natures are at variance--a topic we should never discuss: the\nvery name of love is an apple of discord between us.", "If the reality were\nrequired, what should we do?", "How should we feel?", "My dear cousin,\nabandon your scheme of marriage--forget it.\"", "\"No,\" said he; \"it is a long-cherished scheme, and the only one which can\nsecure my great end: but I shall urge you no further at present.", "To-morrow, I leave home for Cambridge: I have many friends there to whom\nI should wish to say farewell.", "I shall be absent a fortnight--take that\nspace of time to consider my offer: and do not forget that if you reject\nit, it is not me you deny, but God.", "Through my means, He opens to you a\nnoble career; as my wife only can you enter upon it.", "Refuse to be my\nwife, and you limit yourself for ever to a track of selfish ease and\nbarren obscurity.", "Tremble lest in that case you should be numbered with\nthose who have denied the faith, and are worse than infidels!\"", "He had done.", "Turning from me, he once more\n\n \"Looked to river, looked to hill.\"", "But this time his feelings were all pent in his heart: I was not worthy\nto hear them uttered.", "As I walked by his side homeward, I read well in\nhis iron silence all he felt towards me: the disappointment of an austere\nand despotic nature, which has met resistance where it expected\nsubmission--the disapprobation of a cool, inflexible judgment, which has\ndetected in another feelings and views in which it has no power to\nsympathise: in short, as a man, he would have wished to coerce me into\nobedience: it was only as a sincere Christian he bore so patiently with\nmy perversity, and allowed so long a space for reflection and repentance.", "That night, after he had kissed his sisters, he thought proper to forget\neven to shake hands with me, but left the room in silence.", "I--who,\nthough I had no love, had much friendship for him--was hurt by the marked\nomission: so much hurt that tears started to my eyes.", "\"I see you and St. John have been quarrelling, Jane,\" said Diana, \"during\nyour walk on the moor.", "But go after him; he is now lingering in the\npassage expecting you--he will make it up.\"", "I have not much pride under such circumstances: I would always rather be\nhappy than dignified; and I ran after him--he stood at the foot of the\nstairs.", "\"Good-night, St. John,\" said I.", "\"Good-night, Jane,\" he replied calmly.", "\"Then shake hands,\" I added.", "What a cold, loose touch, he impressed on my fingers!", "He was deeply\ndispleased by what had occurred that day; cordiality would not warm, nor\ntears move him.", "No happy reconciliation was to be had with him--no\ncheering smile or generous word: but still the Christian was patient and\nplacid; and when I asked him if he forgave me, he answered that he was\nnot in the habit of cherishing the remembrance of vexation; that he had\nnothing to forgive, not having been offended.", "And with that answer he left me.", "I would much rather he had knocked me\ndown." ]

[ "\"What now?", "The ordinary\nsitting-room and bedrooms I left much as they were: for I knew Diana and\nMary would derive more pleasure from seeing again the old homely tables,\nand chairs, and beds, than from the spectacle of the smartest\ninnovations.", "The humanities and amenities of life had no attraction for him--its\npeaceful enjoyments no charm.", "Hannah soon had a\nlantern lit.", "The air of the moors, the freedom of\nhome, the dawn of prosperity, acted on Diana and Mary's spirits like some\nlife-giving elixir: they were gay from morning till noon, and from noon\ntill night.", "Besides, I was out of practice in talking to him: his reserve\nwas again frozen over, and my frankness was congealed beneath it.", "When he\nsaid \"go,\" I went; \"come,\" I came; \"do this,\" I did it.", "\"All have not your powers, and it would be folly for the feeble to wish\nto march with the strong.\"", "\"What does\nthis signify?\"", "How can I, a man not yet thirty, take out with me\nto India a girl of nineteen, unless she be married to me?" ]

[ "The thing was as impossible as to\nmould my irregular features to his correct and classic pattern, to give\nto my changeable green eyes the sea-blue tint and solemn lustre of his\nown.", "In a\nminute I had my face under their bonnets, in contact first with Mary's\nsoft cheek, then with Diana's flowing curls.", "In the\nvillage school I found you could perform well, punctually, uprightly,\nlabour uncongenial to your habits and inclinations; I saw you could\nperform it with capacity and tact: you could win while you controlled.", "\"Jane, I excuse you for the present: two months' grace I allow you for\nthe full enjoyment of your new position, and for pleasing yourself with\nthis late-found charm of relationship; but _then_, I hope you will begin\nto look beyond Moor House and Morton, and sisterly society, and the\nselfish calm and sensual comfort of civilised affluence.", "\"Do you consider you have got your reward for a season of exertion?\"", "When half a year wasted in vain expectancy, my hope died out, and\nthen I felt dark indeed.", "The breeze was from the west: it came over the hills, sweet with scents\nof heath and rush; the sky was of stainless blue; the stream descending\nthe ravine, swelled with past spring rains, poured along plentiful and\nclear, catching golden gleams from the sun, and sapphire tints from the\nfirmament.", "I am disposed to be as content as a queen, and\nyou try to stir me up to restlessness!", "\"They are coming!", "Jane, you are docile, diligent, disinterested,\nfaithful, constant, and courageous; very gentle, and very heroic: cease\nto mistrust yourself--I can trust you unreservedly." ]

[ "Having stifled my sobs, wiped my eyes, and muttered something about not\nbeing very well that morning, I resumed my task, and succeeded in\ncompleting it.", "St. John put away my books and his, locked his desk, and\nsaid--\n\n\"Now, Jane, you shall take a walk; and with me.\"", "\"I will call Diana and Mary.\"", "\"No; I want only one companion this morning, and that must be you.", "Put\non your things; go out by the kitchen-door: take the road towards the\nhead of Marsh Glen: I will join you in a moment.\"", "I know no medium: I never in my life have known any medium in my dealings\nwith positive, hard characters, antagonistic to my own, between absolute\nsubmission and determined revolt.", "I have always faithfully observed the\none, up to the very moment of bursting, sometimes with volcanic\nvehemence, into the other; and as neither present circumstances\nwarranted, nor my present mood inclined me to mutiny, I observed careful\nobedience to St. John's directions; and in ten minutes I was treading the\nwild track of the glen, side by side with him.", "The breeze was from the west: it came over the hills, sweet with scents\nof heath and rush; the sky was of stainless blue; the stream descending\nthe ravine, swelled with past spring rains, poured along plentiful and\nclear, catching golden gleams from the sun, and sapphire tints from the\nfirmament.", "As we advanced and left the track, we trod a soft turf, mossy\nfine and emerald green, minutely enamelled with a tiny white flower, and\nspangled with a star-like yellow blossom: the hills, meantime, shut us\nquite in; for the glen, towards its head, wound to their very core.", "\"Let us rest here,\" said St. John, as we reached the first stragglers of\na battalion of rocks, guarding a sort of pass, beyond which the beck\nrushed down a waterfall; and where, still a little farther, the mountain\nshook off turf and flower, had only heath for raiment and crag for\ngem--where it exaggerated the wild to the savage, and exchanged the fresh\nfor the frowning--where it guarded the forlorn hope of solitude, and a\nlast refuge for silence.", "I took a seat: St. John stood near me." ]

[ "\n\nIt was near Christmas by the time all was settled: the season of general\nholiday approached.", "I now closed Morton school, taking care that the\nparting should not be barren on my side.", "Good fortune opens the hand as\nwell as the heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when we have largely\nreceived, is but to afford a vent to the unusual ebullition of the\nsensations.", "I had long felt with pleasure that many of my rustic\nscholars liked me, and when we parted, that consciousness was confirmed:\nthey manifested their affection plainly and strongly.", "Deep was my\ngratification to find I had really a place in their unsophisticated\nhearts: I promised them that never a week should pass in future that I\ndid not visit them, and give them an hour's teaching in their school.", "Mr. Rivers came up as, having seen the classes, now numbering sixty\ngirls, file out before me, and locked the door, I stood with the key in\nmy hand, exchanging a few words of special farewell with some half-dozen\nof my best scholars: as decent, respectable, modest, and well-informed\nyoung women as could be found in the ranks of the British peasantry.", "And\nthat is saying a great deal; for after all, the British peasantry are the\nbest taught, best mannered, most self-respecting of any in Europe: since\nthose days I have seen paysannes and Bauerinnen; and the best of them\nseemed to me ignorant, coarse, and besotted, compared with my Morton\ngirls.", "\"Do you consider you have got your reward for a season of exertion?\"", "asked Mr. Rivers, when they were gone.", "\"Does not the consciousness of\nhaving done some real good in your day and generation give pleasure?\"", "But go after him; he is now lingering in the\npassage expecting you--he will make it up.\"", "I have not much pride under such circumstances: I would always rather be\nhappy than dignified; and I ran after him--he stood at the foot of the\nstairs.", "\"Good-night, St. John,\" said I.", "\"Good-night, Jane,\" he replied calmly.", "\"Then shake hands,\" I added.", "What a cold, loose touch, he impressed on my fingers!", "He was deeply\ndispleased by what had occurred that day; cordiality would not warm, nor\ntears move him.", "No happy reconciliation was to be had with him--no\ncheering smile or generous word: but still the Christian was patient and\nplacid; and when I asked him if he forgave me, he answered that he was\nnot in the habit of cherishing the remembrance of vexation; that he had\nnothing to forgive, not having been offended.", "And with that answer he left me.", "I would much rather he had knocked me\ndown." ]

[ "\n\nHe did not leave for Cambridge the next day, as he had said he would.", "He\ndeferred his departure a whole week, and during that time he made me feel\nwhat severe punishment a good yet stern, a conscientious yet implacable\nman can inflict on one who has offended him.", "Without one overt act of\nhostility, one upbraiding word, he contrived to impress me momently with\nthe conviction that I was put beyond the pale of his favour.", "Not that St. John harboured a spirit of unchristian vindictiveness--not\nthat he would have injured a hair of my head, if it had been fully in his\npower to do so.", "Both by nature and principle, he was superior to the\nmean gratification of vengeance: he had forgiven me for saying I scorned\nhim and his love, but he had not forgotten the words; and as long as he\nand I lived he never would forget them.", "I saw by his look, when he\nturned to me, that they were always written on the air between me and\nhim; whenever I spoke, they sounded in my voice to his ear, and their\necho toned every answer he gave me.", "He did not abstain from conversing with me: he even called me as usual\neach morning to join him at his desk; and I fear the corrupt man within\nhim had a pleasure unimparted to, and unshared by, the pure Christian, in\nevincing with what skill he could, while acting and speaking apparently\njust as usual, extract from every deed and every phrase the spirit of\ninterest and approval which had formerly communicated a certain austere\ncharm to his language and manner.", "To me, he was in reality become no\nlonger flesh, but marble; his eye was a cold, bright, blue gem; his\ntongue a speaking instrument--nothing more.", "All this was torture to me--refined, lingering torture.", "It kept up a\nslow fire of indignation and a trembling trouble of grief, which harassed\nand crushed me altogether.", "I felt how--if I were his wife, this good\nman, pure as the deep sunless source, could soon kill me, without drawing\nfrom my veins a single drop of blood, or receiving on his own crystal\nconscience the faintest stain of crime.", "Especially I felt this when I\nmade any attempt to propitiate him.", "No ruth met my ruth.", "_He_\nexperienced no suffering from estrangement--no yearning after\nreconciliation; and though, more than once, my fast falling tears\nblistered the page over which we both bent, they produced no more effect\non him than if his heart had been really a matter of stone or metal.", "To\nhis sisters, meantime, he was somewhat kinder than usual: as if afraid\nthat mere coldness would not sufficiently convince me how completely I\nwas banished and banned, he added the force of contrast; and this I am\nsure he did not by force, but on principle.", "The night before he left home, happening to see him walking in the garden\nabout sunset, and remembering, as I looked at him, that this man,\nalienated as he now was, had once saved my life, and that we were near\nrelations, I was moved to make a last attempt to regain his friendship.", "I\nwent out and approached him as he stood leaning over the little gate; I\nspoke to the point at once.", "\"St. John, I am unhappy because you are still angry with me.", "Let us be\nfriends.\"", "\"I hope we are friends,\" was the unmoved reply; while he still watched\nthe rising of the moon, which he had been contemplating as I approached.", "\"No, St. John, we are not friends as we were.", "You know that.\"", "\"Are we not?", "That is wrong.", "For my part, I wish you no ill and all\ngood.\"", "\"I believe you, St. John; for I am sure you are incapable of wishing any\none ill; but, as I am your kinswoman, I should desire somewhat more of\naffection than that sort of general philanthropy you extend to mere\nstrangers.\"", "\"Of course,\" he said.", "\"Your wish is reasonable, and I am far from\nregarding you as a stranger.\"", "This, spoken in a cool, tranquil tone, was mortifying and baffling\nenough.", "Had I attended to the suggestions of pride and ire, I should\nimmediately have left him; but something worked within me more strongly\nthan those feelings could.", "I deeply venerated my cousin's talent and\nprinciple.", "His friendship was of value to me: to lose it tried me\nseverely.", "I would not so soon relinquish the attempt to reconquer it.", "\"Must we part in this way, St. John?", "And when you go to India, will you\nleave me so, without a kinder word than you have yet spoken?\"", "He now turned quite from the moon and faced me.", "\"When I go to India, Jane, will I leave you!", "What!", "do you not go to\nIndia?\"", "\"You said I could not unless I married you.\"", "\"And you will not marry me!", "You adhere to that resolution?\"", "Reader, do you know, as I do, what terror those cold people can put into\nthe ice of their questions?", "How much of the fall of the avalanche is in\ntheir anger?", "of the breaking up of the frozen sea in their displeasure?", "\"No.", "St. John, I will not marry you.", "I adhere to my resolution.\"", "The avalanche had shaken and slid a little forward, but it did not yet\ncrash down.", "\"Once more, why this refusal?\"", "he asked.", "\"Formerly,\" I answered, \"because you did not love me; now, I reply,\nbecause you almost hate me.", "If I were to marry you, you would kill me.", "You are killing me now.\"", "His lips and cheeks turned white--quite white.", "\"_I should kill you_--_I am killing you_?", "Your words are such as ought\nnot to be used: violent, unfeminine, and untrue.", "They betray an\nunfortunate state of mind: they merit severe reproof: they would seem\ninexcusable, but that it is the duty of man to forgive his fellow even\nuntil seventy-and-seven times.\"", "I had finished the business now.", "While earnestly wishing to erase from\nhis mind the trace of my former offence, I had stamped on that tenacious\nsurface another and far deeper impression, I had burnt it in.", "\"Now you will indeed hate me,\" I said.", "\"It is useless to attempt to\nconciliate you: I see I have made an eternal enemy of you.\"", "A fresh wrong did these words inflict: the worse, because they touched on\nthe truth.", "That bloodless lip quivered to a temporary spasm.", "I knew the\nsteely ire I had whetted.", "I was heart-wrung.", "\"You utterly misinterpret my words,\" I said, at once seizing his hand: \"I\nhave no intention to grieve or pain you--indeed, I have not.\"", "Most bitterly he smiled--most decidedly he withdrew his hand from mine.", "\"And now you recall your promise, and will not go to India at all, I\npresume?\"", "said he, after a considerable pause.", "\"Yes, I will, as your assistant,\" I answered.", "A very long silence succeeded.", "What struggle there was in him between\nNature and Grace in this interval, I cannot tell: only singular gleams\nscintillated in his eyes, and strange shadows passed over his face.", "He\nspoke at last.", "\"I before proved to you the absurdity of a single woman of your age\nproposing to accompany abroad a single man of mine.", "I proved it to you\nin such terms as, I should have thought, would have prevented your ever\nagain alluding to the plan.", "That you have done so, I regret--for your\nsake.\"", "I interrupted him.", "Anything like a tangible reproach gave me courage at\nonce.", "\"Keep to common sense, St. John: you are verging on nonsense.", "You\npretend to be shocked by what I have said.", "You are not really shocked:\nfor, with your superior mind, you cannot be either so dull or so\nconceited as to misunderstand my meaning.", "I say again, I will be your\ncurate, if you like, but never your wife.\"", "Again he turned lividly pale; but, as before, controlled his passion\nperfectly.", "He answered emphatically but calmly--\n\n\"A female curate, who is not my wife, would never suit me.", "With me,\nthen, it seems, you cannot go: but if you are sincere in your offer, I\nwill, while in town, speak to a married missionary, whose wife needs a\ncoadjutor.", "Your own fortune will make you independent of the Society's\naid; and thus you may still be spared the dishonour of breaking your\npromise and deserting the band you engaged to join.\"", "Now I never had, as the reader knows, either given any formal promise or\nentered into any engagement; and this language was all much too hard and\nmuch too despotic for the occasion.", "I replied--\n\n\"There is no dishonour, no breach of promise, no desertion in the case.", "I\nam not under the slightest obligation to go to India, especially with\nstrangers.", "With you I would have ventured much, because I admire,\nconfide in, and, as a sister, I love you; but I am convinced that, go\nwhen and with whom I would, I should not live long in that climate.\"", "\"Ah!", "you are afraid of yourself,\" he said, curling his lip.", "\"I am.", "God did not give me my life to throw away; and to do as you wish\nme would, I begin to think, be almost equivalent to committing suicide.", "Moreover, before I definitively resolve on quitting England, I will know\nfor certain whether I cannot be of greater use by remaining in it than by\nleaving it.\"", "\"What do you mean?\"", "\"It would be fruitless to attempt to explain; but there is a point on\nwhich I have long endured painful doubt, and I can go nowhere till by\nsome means that doubt is removed.\"", "\"I know where your heart turns and to what it clings.", "The interest you\ncherish is lawless and unconsecrated.", "Long since you ought to have\ncrushed it: now you should blush to allude to it.", "You think of Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "It was true.", "I confessed it by silence.", "\"Are you going to seek Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "\"I must find out what is become of him.\"", "\"It remains for me, then,\" he said, \"to remember you in my prayers, and\nto entreat God for you, in all earnestness, that you may not indeed\nbecome a castaway.", "I had thought I recognised in you one of the chosen.", "But God sees not as man sees: _His_ will be done--\"\n\nHe opened the gate, passed through it, and strayed away down the glen.", "He\nwas soon out of sight.", "On re-entering the parlour, I found Diana standing at the window, looking\nvery thoughtful.", "Diana was a great deal taller than I: she put her hand\non my shoulder, and, stooping, examined my face.", "\"Jane,\" she said, \"you are always agitated and pale now.", "I am sure there\nis something the matter.", "Tell me what business St. John and you have on\nhands.", "I have watched you this half hour from the window; you must\nforgive my being such a spy, but for a long time I have fancied I hardly\nknow what.", "St. John is a strange being--\"\n\nShe paused--I did not speak: soon she resumed--\n\n\"That brother of mine cherishes peculiar views of some sort respecting\nyou, I am sure: he has long distinguished you by a notice and interest he\nnever showed to any one else--to what end?", "I wish he loved you--does he,\nJane?\"", "I put her cool hand to my hot forehead; \"No, Die, not one whit.\"", "\"Then why does he follow you so with his eyes, and get you so frequently\nalone with him, and keep you so continually at his side?", "Mary and I had\nboth concluded he wished you to marry him.\"", "\"He does--he has asked me to be his wife.\"", "Diana clapped her hands.", "\"That is just what we hoped and thought!", "And\nyou will marry him, Jane, won't you?", "And then he will stay in England.\"", "\"Far from that, Diana; his sole idea in proposing to me is to procure a\nfitting fellow-labourer in his Indian toils.\"", "\"What!", "He wishes you to go to India?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Madness!\"", "she exclaimed.", "\"You would not live three months there, I am\ncertain.", "You never shall go: you have not consented, have you, Jane?\"", "\"I have refused to marry him--\"\n\n\"And have consequently displeased him?\"", "she suggested.", "\"Deeply: he will never forgive me, I fear: yet I offered to accompany him\nas his sister.\"", "\"It was frantic folly to do so, Jane.", "Think of the task you\nundertook--one of incessant fatigue, where fatigue kills even the strong,\nand you are weak.", "St. John--you know him--would urge you to\nimpossibilities: with him there would be no permission to rest during the\nhot hours; and unfortunately, I have noticed, whatever he exacts, you\nforce yourself to perform.", "I am astonished you found courage to refuse\nhis hand.", "You do not love him then, Jane?\"", "\"Not as a husband.\"", "\"Yet he is a handsome fellow.\"", "\"And I am so plain, you see, Die.", "We should never suit.\"", "\"Plain!", "You?", "Not at all.", "You are much too pretty, as well as too good,\nto be grilled alive in Calcutta.\"", "And again she earnestly conjured me to\ngive up all thoughts of going out with her brother.", "\"I must indeed,\" I said; \"for when just now I repeated the offer of\nserving him for a deacon, he expressed himself shocked at my want of\ndecency.", "He seemed to think I had committed an impropriety in proposing\nto accompany him unmarried: as if I had not from the first hoped to find\nin him a brother, and habitually regarded him as such.\"", "\"What makes you say he does not love you, Jane?\"", "\"You should hear himself on the subject.", "He has again and again\nexplained that it is not himself, but his office he wishes to mate.", "He\nhas told me I am formed for labour--not for love: which is true, no\ndoubt.", "But, in my opinion, if I am not formed for love, it follows that\nI am not formed for marriage.", "Would it not be strange, Die, to be\nchained for life to a man who regarded one but as a useful tool?\"", "\"Insupportable--unnatural--out of the question!\"", "\"And then,\" I continued, \"though I have only sisterly affection for him\nnow, yet, if forced to be his wife, I can imagine the possibility of\nconceiving an inevitable, strange, torturing kind of love for him,\nbecause he is so talented; and there is often a certain heroic grandeur\nin his look, manner, and conversation.", "In that case, my lot would become\nunspeakably wretched.", "He would not want me to love him; and if I showed\nthe feeling, he would make me sensible that it was a superfluity,\nunrequired by him, unbecoming in me.", "I know he would.\"", "\"And yet St. John is a good man,\" said Diana.", "\"He is a good and a great man; but he forgets, pitilessly, the feelings\nand claims of little people, in pursuing his own large views.", "It is\nbetter, therefore, for the insignificant to keep out of his way, lest, in\nhis progress, he should trample them down.", "Here he comes!", "I will leave\nyou, Diana.\"", "And I hastened upstairs as I saw him entering the garden.", "But I was forced to meet him again at supper.", "During that meal he\nappeared just as composed as usual.", "I had thought he would hardly speak\nto me, and I was certain he had given up the pursuit of his matrimonial\nscheme: the sequel showed I was mistaken on both points.", "He addressed me\nprecisely in his ordinary manner, or what had, of late, been his ordinary\nmanner--one scrupulously polite.", "No doubt he had invoked the help of the\nHoly Spirit to subdue the anger I had roused in him, and now believed he\nhad forgiven me once more.", "For the evening reading before prayers, he selected the twenty-first\nchapter of Revelation.", "It was at all times pleasant to listen while from\nhis lips fell the words of the Bible: never did his fine voice sound at\nonce so sweet and full--never did his manner become so impressive in its\nnoble simplicity, as when he delivered the oracles of God: and to-night\nthat voice took a more solemn tone--that manner a more thrilling\nmeaning--as he sat in the midst of his household circle (the May moon\nshining in through the uncurtained window, and rendering almost\nunnecessary the light of the candle on the table): as he sat there,\nbending over the great old Bible, and described from its page the vision\nof the new heaven and the new earth--told how God would come to dwell\nwith men, how He would wipe away all tears from their eyes, and promised\nthat there should be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying, nor any\nmore pain, because the former things were passed away.", "The succeeding words thrilled me strangely as he spoke them: especially\nas I felt, by the slight, indescribable alteration in sound, that in\nuttering them, his eye had turned on me.", "\"He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and\nhe shall be my son.", "But,\" was slowly, distinctly read, \"the fearful, the\nunbelieving, &c., shall have their part in the lake which burneth with\nfire and brimstone, which is the second death.\"", "Henceforward, I knew what fate St. John feared for me.", "A calm, subdued triumph, blent with a longing earnestness, marked his\nenunciation of the last glorious verses of that chapter.", "The reader\nbelieved his name was already written in the Lamb's book of life, and he\nyearned after the hour which should admit him to the city to which the\nkings of the earth bring their glory and honour; which has no need of sun\nor moon to shine in it, because the glory of God lightens it, and the\nLamb is the light thereof.", "In the prayer following the chapter, all his energy gathered--all his\nstern zeal woke: he was in deep earnest, wrestling with God, and resolved\non a conquest.", "He supplicated strength for the weak-hearted; guidance\nfor wanderers from the fold: a return, even at the eleventh hour, for\nthose whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from\nthe narrow path.", "He asked, he urged, he claimed the boon of a brand\nsnatched from the burning.", "Earnestness is ever deeply solemn: first, as\nI listened to that prayer, I wondered at his; then, when it continued and\nrose, I was touched by it, and at last awed.", "He felt the greatness and\ngoodness of his purpose so sincerely: others who heard him plead for it,\ncould not but feel it too.", "The prayer over, we took leave of him: he was to go at a very early hour\nin the morning.", "Diana and Mary having kissed him, left the room--in\ncompliance, I think, with a whispered hint from him: I tendered my hand,\nand wished him a pleasant journey.", "\"Thank you, Jane.", "As I said, I shall return from Cambridge in a\nfortnight: that space, then, is yet left you for reflection.", "If I\nlistened to human pride, I should say no more to you of marriage with me;\nbut I listen to my duty, and keep steadily in view my first aim--to do\nall things to the glory of God.", "My Master was long-suffering: so will I\nbe.", "I cannot give you up to perdition as a vessel of wrath:\nrepent--resolve, while there is yet time.", "Remember, we are bid to work\nwhile it is day--warned that 'the night cometh when no man shall work.'", "Remember the fate of Dives, who had his good things in this life.", "God\ngive you strength to choose that better part which shall not be taken\nfrom you!\"", "He laid his hand on my head as he uttered the last words.", "He had spoken\nearnestly, mildly: his look was not, indeed, that of a lover beholding\nhis mistress, but it was that of a pastor recalling his wandering\nsheep--or better, of a guardian angel watching the soul for which he is\nresponsible.", "All men of talent, whether they be men of feeling or not;\nwhether they be zealots, or aspirants, or despots--provided only they be\nsincere--have their sublime moments, when they subdue and rule.", "I felt\nveneration for St. John--veneration so strong that its impetus thrust me\nat once to the point I had so long shunned.", "I was tempted to cease\nstruggling with him--to rush down the torrent of his will into the gulf\nof his existence, and there lose my own.", "I was almost as hard beset by\nhim now as I had been once before, in a different way, by another.", "I was\na fool both times.", "To have yielded then would have been an error of\nprinciple; to have yielded now would have been an error of judgment.", "So\nI think at this hour, when I look back to the crisis through the quiet\nmedium of time: I was unconscious of folly at the instant.", "I stood motionless under my hierophant's touch.", "My refusals were\nforgotten--my fears overcome--my wrestlings paralysed.", "The\nImpossible--_i.e._, my marriage with St. John--was fast becoming the\nPossible.", "All was changing utterly with a sudden sweep.", "Religion\ncalled--Angels beckoned--God commanded--life rolled together like a\nscroll--death's gates opening, showed eternity beyond: it seemed, that\nfor safety and bliss there, all here might be sacrificed in a second.", "The\ndim room was full of visions.", "\"Could you decide now?\"", "asked the missionary.", "The inquiry was put in\ngentle tones: he drew me to him as gently.", "Oh, that gentleness!", "how far\nmore potent is it than force!", "I could resist St. John's wrath: I grew\npliant as a reed under his kindness.", "Yet I knew all the time, if I\nyielded now, I should not the less be made to repent, some day, of my\nformer rebellion.", "His nature was not changed by one hour of solemn\nprayer: it was only elevated.", "\"I could decide if I were but certain,\" I answered: \"were I but convinced\nthat it is God's will I should marry you, I could vow to marry you here\nand now--come afterwards what would!\"", "\"My prayers are heard!\"", "ejaculated St. John.", "He pressed his hand firmer\non my head, as if he claimed me: he surrounded me with his arm, _almost_\nas if he loved me (I say _almost_--I knew the difference--for I had felt\nwhat it was to be loved; but, like him, I had now put love out of the\nquestion, and thought only of duty).", "I contended with my inward dimness\nof vision, before which clouds yet rolled.", "I sincerely, deeply,\nfervently longed to do what was right; and only that.", "\"Show me, show me\nthe path!\"", "I entreated of Heaven.", "I was excited more than I had ever\nbeen; and whether what followed was the effect of excitement the reader\nshall judge.", "All the house was still; for I believe all, except St. John and myself,\nwere now retired to rest.", "The one candle was dying out: the room was\nfull of moonlight.", "My heart beat fast and thick: I heard its throb.", "Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it\nthrough, and passed at once to my head and extremities.", "The feeling was\nnot like an electric shock, but it was quite as sharp, as strange, as\nstartling: it acted on my senses as if their utmost activity hitherto had\nbeen but torpor, from which they were now summoned and forced to wake.", "They rose expectant: eye and ear waited while the flesh quivered on my\nbones.", "\"What have you heard?", "What do you see?\"", "asked St. John.", "I saw nothing,\nbut I heard a voice somewhere cry--\n\n\"Jane!", "Jane!", "Jane!\"", "--nothing more.", "\"O God!", "what is it?\"", "I gasped.", "I might have said, \"Where is it?\"", "for it did not seem in the room--nor in\nthe house--nor in the garden; it did not come out of the air--nor from\nunder the earth--nor from overhead.", "I had heard it--where, or whence,\nfor ever impossible to know!", "And it was the voice of a human being--a\nknown, loved, well-remembered voice--that of Edward Fairfax Rochester;\nand it spoke in pain and woe, wildly, eerily, urgently.", "\"I am coming!\"", "I cried.", "\"Wait for me!", "Oh, I will come!\"", "I flew to the\ndoor and looked into the passage: it was dark.", "I ran out into the\ngarden: it was void.", "\"Where are you?\"", "I exclaimed.", "The hills beyond Marsh Glen sent the answer faintly back--\"Where are\nyou?\"", "I listened.", "The wind sighed low in the firs: all was moorland\nloneliness and midnight hush.", "\"Down superstition!\"", "I commented, as that spectre rose up black by the\nblack yew at the gate.", "\"This is not thy deception, nor thy witchcraft:\nit is the work of nature.", "She was roused, and did--no miracle--but her\nbest.\"", "I broke from St. John, who had followed, and would have detained me.", "It\nwas _my_ time to assume ascendency.", "_My_ powers were in play and in\nforce.", "I told him to forbear question or remark; I desired him to leave\nme: I must and would be alone.", "He obeyed at once.", "Where there is energy\nto command well enough, obedience never fails.", "I mounted to my chamber;\nlocked myself in; fell on my knees; and prayed in my way--a different way\nto St. John's, but effective in its own fashion.", "I seemed to penetrate\nvery near a Mighty Spirit; and my soul rushed out in gratitude at His\nfeet.", "I rose from the thanksgiving--took a resolve--and lay down,\nunscared, enlightened--eager but for the daylight." ]

[ "All this was torture to me--refined, lingering torture.", "\"St. John, I am unhappy because you are still angry with me.", "For my part, I wish you no ill and all\ngood.\"", "And when you go to India, will you\nleave me so, without a kinder word than you have yet spoken?\"", "\"Formerly,\" I answered, \"because you did not love me; now, I reply,\nbecause you almost hate me.", "\"Are you going to seek Mr.", "\"He does--he has asked me to be his wife.\"", "\"That is just what we hoped and thought!", "The\ndim room was full of visions.", "I sincerely, deeply,\nfervently longed to do what was right; and only that." ]

[ "You are killing me now.\"", "If I\nlistened to human pride, I should say no more to you of marriage with me;\nbut I listen to my duty, and keep steadily in view my first aim--to do\nall things to the glory of God.", "St. John--you know him--would urge you to\nimpossibilities: with him there would be no permission to rest during the\nhot hours; and unfortunately, I have noticed, whatever he exacts, you\nforce yourself to perform.", "A fresh wrong did these words inflict: the worse, because they touched on\nthe truth.", "Diana was a great deal taller than I: she put her hand\non my shoulder, and, stooping, examined my face.", "God did not give me my life to throw away; and to do as you wish\nme would, I begin to think, be almost equivalent to committing suicide.", "_He_\nexperienced no suffering from estrangement--no yearning after\nreconciliation; and though, more than once, my fast falling tears\nblistered the page over which we both bent, they produced no more effect\non him than if his heart had been really a matter of stone or metal.", "I felt\nveneration for St. John--veneration so strong that its impetus thrust me\nat once to the point I had so long shunned.", "I confessed it by silence.", "In that case, my lot would become\nunspeakably wretched." ]

[ "she exclaimed.", "\"You would not live three months there, I am\ncertain.", "You never shall go: you have not consented, have you, Jane?\"", "\"I have refused to marry him--\"\n\n\"And have consequently displeased him?\"", "she suggested.", "\"Deeply: he will never forgive me, I fear: yet I offered to accompany him\nas his sister.\"", "\"It was frantic folly to do so, Jane.", "Think of the task you\nundertook--one of incessant fatigue, where fatigue kills even the strong,\nand you are weak.", "St. John--you know him--would urge you to\nimpossibilities: with him there would be no permission to rest during the\nhot hours; and unfortunately, I have noticed, whatever he exacts, you\nforce yourself to perform.", "I am astonished you found courage to refuse\nhis hand.", "You do not love him then, Jane?\"" ]

[ "\n\nHe did not leave for Cambridge the next day, as he had said he would.", "He\ndeferred his departure a whole week, and during that time he made me feel\nwhat severe punishment a good yet stern, a conscientious yet implacable\nman can inflict on one who has offended him.", "Without one overt act of\nhostility, one upbraiding word, he contrived to impress me momently with\nthe conviction that I was put beyond the pale of his favour.", "Not that St. John harboured a spirit of unchristian vindictiveness--not\nthat he would have injured a hair of my head, if it had been fully in his\npower to do so.", "Both by nature and principle, he was superior to the\nmean gratification of vengeance: he had forgiven me for saying I scorned\nhim and his love, but he had not forgotten the words; and as long as he\nand I lived he never would forget them.", "I saw by his look, when he\nturned to me, that they were always written on the air between me and\nhim; whenever I spoke, they sounded in my voice to his ear, and their\necho toned every answer he gave me.", "He did not abstain from conversing with me: he even called me as usual\neach morning to join him at his desk; and I fear the corrupt man within\nhim had a pleasure unimparted to, and unshared by, the pure Christian, in\nevincing with what skill he could, while acting and speaking apparently\njust as usual, extract from every deed and every phrase the spirit of\ninterest and approval which had formerly communicated a certain austere\ncharm to his language and manner.", "To me, he was in reality become no\nlonger flesh, but marble; his eye was a cold, bright, blue gem; his\ntongue a speaking instrument--nothing more.", "All this was torture to me--refined, lingering torture.", "It kept up a\nslow fire of indignation and a trembling trouble of grief, which harassed\nand crushed me altogether.", "She was roused, and did--no miracle--but her\nbest.\"", "I broke from St. John, who had followed, and would have detained me.", "It\nwas _my_ time to assume ascendency.", "_My_ powers were in play and in\nforce.", "I told him to forbear question or remark; I desired him to leave\nme: I must and would be alone.", "He obeyed at once.", "Where there is energy\nto command well enough, obedience never fails.", "I mounted to my chamber;\nlocked myself in; fell on my knees; and prayed in my way--a different way\nto St. John's, but effective in its own fashion.", "I seemed to penetrate\nvery near a Mighty Spirit; and my soul rushed out in gratitude at His\nfeet.", "I rose from the thanksgiving--took a resolve--and lay down,\nunscared, enlightened--eager but for the daylight." ]

[ "\n\nThe daylight came.", "I rose at dawn.", "I busied myself for an hour or two\nwith arranging my things in my chamber, drawers, and wardrobe, in the\norder wherein I should wish to leave them during a brief absence.", "Meantime, I heard St. John quit his room.", "He stopped at my door: I\nfeared he would knock--no, but a slip of paper was passed under the door.", "I took it up.", "It bore these words--\n\n\"You left me too suddenly last night.", "Had you stayed but a little\nlonger, you would have laid your hand on the Christian's cross and the\nangel's crown.", "I shall expect your clear decision when I return this day\nfortnight.", "Meantime, watch and pray that you enter not into temptation:\nthe spirit, I trust, is willing, but the flesh, I see, is weak.", "I shall\npray for you hourly.--Yours, ST.", "JOHN.\"", "\"My spirit,\" I answered mentally, \"is willing to do what is right; and my\nflesh, I hope, is strong enough to accomplish the will of Heaven, when\nonce that will is distinctly known to me.", "At any rate, it shall be\nstrong enough to search--inquire--to grope an outlet from this cloud of\ndoubt, and find the open day of certainty.\"", "It was the first of June; yet the morning was overcast and chilly: rain\nbeat fast on my casement.", "I heard the front-door open, and St. John pass\nout.", "Looking through the window, I saw him traverse the garden.", "He took\nthe way over the misty moors in the direction of Whitcross--there he\nwould meet the coach.", "\"In a few more hours I shall succeed you in that track, cousin,\" thought\nI: \"I too have a coach to meet at Whitcross.", "I too have some to see and\nask after in England, before I depart for ever.\"", "It wanted yet two hours of breakfast-time.", "I filled the interval in\nwalking softly about my room, and pondering the visitation which had\ngiven my plans their present bent.", "I recalled that inward sensation I\nhad experienced: for I could recall it, with all its unspeakable\nstrangeness.", "I recalled the voice I had heard; again I questioned whence\nit came, as vainly as before: it seemed in _me_--not in the external\nworld.", "I asked was it a mere nervous impression--a delusion?", "I could\nnot conceive or believe: it was more like an inspiration.", "The wondrous\nshock of feeling had come like the earthquake which shook the foundations\nof Paul and Silas's prison; it had opened the doors of the soul's cell\nand loosed its bands--it had wakened it out of its sleep, whence it\nsprang trembling, listening, aghast; then vibrated thrice a cry on my\nstartled ear, and in my quaking heart and through my spirit, which\nneither feared nor shook, but exulted as if in joy over the success of\none effort it had been privileged to make, independent of the cumbrous\nbody.", "\"Ere many days,\" I said, as I terminated my musings, \"I will know\nsomething of him whose voice seemed last night to summon me.", "Letters\nhave proved of no avail--personal inquiry shall replace them.\"", "At breakfast I announced to Diana and Mary that I was going a journey,\nand should be absent at least four days.", "\"Alone, Jane?\"", "they asked.", "\"Yes; it was to see or hear news of a friend about whom I had for some\ntime been uneasy.\"", "They might have said, as I have no doubt they thought, that they had\nbelieved me to be without any friends save them: for, indeed, I had often\nsaid so; but, with their true natural delicacy, they abstained from\ncomment, except that Diana asked me if I was sure I was well enough to\ntravel.", "I looked very pale, she observed.", "I replied, that nothing ailed\nme save anxiety of mind, which I hoped soon to alleviate.", "It was easy to make my further arrangements; for I was troubled with no\ninquiries--no surmises.", "Having once explained to them that I could not\nnow be explicit about my plans, they kindly and wisely acquiesced in the\nsilence with which I pursued them, according to me the privilege of free\naction I should under similar circumstances have accorded them.", "I left Moor House at three o'clock p.m., and soon after four I stood at\nthe foot of the sign-post of Whitcross, waiting the arrival of the coach\nwhich was to take me to distant Thornfield.", "Amidst the silence of those\nsolitary roads and desert hills, I heard it approach from a great\ndistance.", "It was the same vehicle whence, a year ago, I had alighted one\nsummer evening on this very spot--how desolate, and hopeless, and\nobjectless!", "It stopped as I beckoned.", "I entered--not now obliged to\npart with my whole fortune as the price of its accommodation.", "Once more\non the road to Thornfield, I felt like the messenger-pigeon flying home.", "It was a journey of six-and-thirty hours.", "I had set out from Whitcross\non a Tuesday afternoon, and early on the succeeding Thursday morning the\ncoach stopped to water the horses at a wayside inn, situated in the midst\nof scenery whose green hedges and large fields and low pastoral hills\n(how mild of feature and verdant of hue compared with the stern North-\nMidland moors of Morton!)", "met my eye like the lineaments of a once\nfamiliar face.", "Yes, I knew the character of this landscape: I was sure\nwe were near my bourne.", "\"How far is Thornfield Hall from here?\"", "I asked of the ostler.", "\"Just two miles, ma'am, across the fields.\"", "\"My journey is closed,\" I thought to myself.", "I got out of the coach,\ngave a box I had into the ostler's charge, to be kept till I called for\nit; paid my fare; satisfied the coachman, and was going: the brightening\nday gleamed on the sign of the inn, and I read in gilt letters, \"The\nRochester Arms.\"", "My heart leapt up: I was already on my master's very\nlands.", "It fell again: the thought struck it:--\n\n\"Your master himself may be beyond the British Channel, for aught you\nknow: and then, if he is at Thornfield Hall, towards which you hasten,\nwho besides him is there?", "His lunatic wife: and you have nothing to do\nwith him: you dare not speak to him or seek his presence.", "You have lost\nyour labour--you had better go no farther,\" urged the monitor.", "\"Ask\ninformation of the people at the inn; they can give you all you seek:\nthey can solve your doubts at once.", "Go up to that man, and inquire if\nMr. Rochester be at home.\"", "The suggestion was sensible, and yet I could not force myself to act on\nit.", "I so dreaded a reply that would crush me with despair.", "To prolong\ndoubt was to prolong hope.", "I might yet once more see the Hall under the\nray of her star.", "There was the stile before me--the very fields through\nwhich I had hurried, blind, deaf, distracted with a revengeful fury\ntracking and scourging me, on the morning I fled from Thornfield: ere I\nwell knew what course I had resolved to take, I was in the midst of them.", "How fast I walked!", "How I ran sometimes!", "How I looked forward to catch\nthe first view of the well-known woods!", "With what feelings I welcomed\nsingle trees I knew, and familiar glimpses of meadow and hill between\nthem!", "At last the woods rose; the rookery clustered dark; a loud cawing broke\nthe morning stillness.", "Strange delight inspired me: on I hastened.", "Another field crossed--a lane threaded--and there were the courtyard\nwalls--the back offices: the house itself, the rookery still hid.", "\"My\nfirst view of it shall be in front,\" I determined, \"where its bold\nbattlements will strike the eye nobly at once, and where I can single out\nmy master's very window: perhaps he will be standing at it--he rises\nearly: perhaps he is now walking in the orchard, or on the pavement in\nfront.", "Could I but see him!--but a moment!", "Surely, in that case, I\nshould not be so mad as to run to him?", "I cannot tell--I am not certain.", "And if I did--what then?", "God bless him!", "What then?", "Who would be hurt\nby my once more tasting the life his glance can give me?", "I rave: perhaps\nat this moment he is watching the sun rise over the Pyrenees, or on the\ntideless sea of the south.\"", "I had coasted along the lower wall of the orchard--turned its angle:\nthere was a gate just there, opening into the meadow, between two stone\npillars crowned by stone balls.", "From behind one pillar I could peep\nround quietly at the full front of the mansion.", "I advanced my head with\nprecaution, desirous to ascertain if any bedroom window-blinds were yet\ndrawn up: battlements, windows, long front--all from this sheltered\nstation were at my command.", "The crows sailing overhead perhaps watched me while I took this survey.", "I\nwonder what they thought.", "They must have considered I was very careful\nand timid at first, and that gradually I grew very bold and reckless.", "A\npeep, and then a long stare; and then a departure from my niche and a\nstraying out into the meadow; and a sudden stop full in front of the\ngreat mansion, and a protracted, hardy gaze towards it.", "\"What\naffectation of diffidence was this at first?\"", "they might have demanded;\n\"what stupid regardlessness now?\"", "Hear an illustration, reader.", "A lover finds his mistress asleep on a mossy bank; he wishes to catch a\nglimpse of her fair face without waking her.", "He steals softly over the\ngrass, careful to make no sound; he pauses--fancying she has stirred: he\nwithdraws: not for worlds would he be seen.", "All is still: he again\nadvances: he bends above her; a light veil rests on her features: he\nlifts it, bends lower; now his eyes anticipate the vision of beauty--warm,\nand blooming, and lovely, in rest.", "How hurried was their first glance!", "But how they fix!", "How he starts!", "How he suddenly and vehemently clasps\nin both arms the form he dared not, a moment since, touch with his\nfinger!", "How he calls aloud a name, and drops his burden, and gazes on it\nwildly!", "He thus grasps and cries, and gazes, because he no longer fears\nto waken by any sound he can utter--by any movement he can make.", "He\nthought his love slept sweetly: he finds she is stone dead.", "I looked with timorous joy towards a stately house: I saw a blackened\nruin.", "No need to cower behind a gate-post, indeed!--to peep up at chamber\nlattices, fearing life was astir behind them!", "No need to listen for\ndoors opening--to fancy steps on the pavement or the gravel-walk!", "The\nlawn, the grounds were trodden and waste: the portal yawned void.", "The\nfront was, as I had once seen it in a dream, but a well-like wall, very\nhigh and very fragile-looking, perforated with paneless windows: no roof,\nno battlements, no chimneys--all had crashed in.", "And there was the silence of death about it: the solitude of a lonesome\nwild.", "No wonder that letters addressed to people here had never received\nan answer: as well despatch epistles to a vault in a church aisle.", "The\ngrim blackness of the stones told by what fate the Hall had fallen--by\nconflagration: but how kindled?", "What story belonged to this disaster?", "What loss, besides mortar and marble and wood-work had followed upon it?", "Had life been wrecked as well as property?", "If so, whose?", "Dreadful\nquestion: there was no one here to answer it--not even dumb sign, mute\ntoken.", "In wandering round the shattered walls and through the devastated\ninterior, I gathered evidence that the calamity was not of late\noccurrence.", "Winter snows, I thought, had drifted through that void arch,\nwinter rains beaten in at those hollow casements; for, amidst the\ndrenched piles of rubbish, spring had cherished vegetation: grass and\nweed grew here and there between the stones and fallen rafters.", "And oh!", "where meantime was the hapless owner of this wreck?", "In what land?", "Under\nwhat auspices?", "My eye involuntarily wandered to the grey church tower\nnear the gates, and I asked, \"Is he with Damer de Rochester, sharing the\nshelter of his narrow marble house?\"", "Some answer must be had to these questions.", "I could find it nowhere but\nat the inn, and thither, ere long, I returned.", "The host himself brought\nmy breakfast into the parlour.", "I requested him to shut the door and sit\ndown: I had some questions to ask him.", "But when he complied, I scarcely\nknew how to begin; such horror had I of the possible answers.", "And yet\nthe spectacle of desolation I had just left prepared me in a measure for\na tale of misery.", "The host was a respectable-looking, middle-aged man.", "\"You know Thornfield Hall, of course?\"", "I managed to say at last.", "\"Yes, ma'am; I lived there once.\"", "\"Did you?\"", "Not in my time, I thought: you are a stranger to me.", "\"I was the late Mr. Rochester's butler,\" he added.", "The late!", "I seem to have received, with full force, the blow I had been\ntrying to evade.", "\"The late!\"", "I gasped.", "\"Is he dead?\"", "\"I mean the present gentleman, Mr. Edward's father,\" he explained.", "I\nbreathed again: my blood resumed its flow.", "Fully assured by these words\nthat Mr. Edward--_my_ Mr. Rochester (God bless him, wherever he was!)", "--was\nat least alive: was, in short, \"the present gentleman.\"", "Gladdening\nwords!", "It seemed I could hear all that was to come--whatever the\ndisclosures might be--with comparative tranquillity.", "Since he was not in\nthe grave, I could bear, I thought, to learn that he was at the\nAntipodes.", "\"Is Mr. Rochester living at Thornfield Hall now?\"", "I asked, knowing, of\ncourse, what the answer would be, but yet desirous of deferring the\ndirect question as to where he really was.", "\"No, ma'am--oh, no!", "No one is living there.", "I suppose you are a\nstranger in these parts, or you would have heard what happened last\nautumn,--Thornfield Hall is quite a ruin: it was burnt down just about\nharvest-time.", "A dreadful calamity!", "such an immense quantity of valuable\nproperty destroyed: hardly any of the furniture could be saved.", "The fire\nbroke out at dead of night, and before the engines arrived from Millcote,\nthe building was one mass of flame.", "It was a terrible spectacle: I\nwitnessed it myself.\"", "\"At dead of night!\"", "I muttered.", "Yes, that was ever the hour of fatality\nat Thornfield.", "\"Was it known how it originated?\"", "I demanded.", "\"They guessed, ma'am: they guessed.", "Indeed, I should say it was\nascertained beyond a doubt.", "You are not perhaps aware,\" he continued,\nedging his chair a little nearer the table, and speaking low, \"that there\nwas a lady--a--a lunatic, kept in the house?\"", "\"I have heard something of it.\"", "\"She was kept in very close confinement, ma'am: people even for some\nyears was not absolutely certain of her existence.", "No one saw her: they\nonly knew by rumour that such a person was at the Hall; and who or what\nshe was it was difficult to conjecture.", "They said Mr. Edward had brought\nher from abroad, and some believed she had been his mistress.", "But a\nqueer thing happened a year since--a very queer thing.\"", "I feared now to hear my own story.", "I endeavoured to recall him to the\nmain fact.", "\"And this lady?\"", "\"This lady, ma'am,\" he answered, \"turned out to be Mr. Rochester's wife!", "The discovery was brought about in the strangest way.", "There was a young\nlady, a governess at the Hall, that Mr. Rochester fell in--\"\n\n\"But the fire,\" I suggested.", "\"I'm coming to that, ma'am--that Mr. Edward fell in love with.", "The\nservants say they never saw anybody so much in love as he was: he was\nafter her continually.", "They used to watch him--servants will, you know,\nma'am--and he set store on her past everything: for all, nobody but him\nthought her so very handsome.", "She was a little small thing, they say,\nalmost like a child.", "I never saw her myself; but I've heard Leah, the\nhouse-maid, tell of her.", "Leah liked her well enough.", "Mr. Rochester was\nabout forty, and this governess not twenty; and you see, when gentlemen\nof his age fall in love with girls, they are often like as if they were\nbewitched.", "Well, he would marry her.\"", "\"You shall tell me this part of the story another time,\" I said; \"but now\nI have a particular reason for wishing to hear all about the fire.", "Was\nit suspected that this lunatic, Mrs. Rochester, had any hand in it?\"", "\"You've hit it, ma'am: it's quite certain that it was her, and nobody but\nher, that set it going.", "She had a woman to take care of her called Mrs.\nPoole--an able woman in her line, and very trustworthy, but for one\nfault--a fault common to a deal of them nurses and matrons--she _kept a\nprivate bottle of gin by her_, and now and then took a drop over-much.", "It\nis excusable, for she had a hard life of it: but still it was dangerous;\nfor when Mrs. Poole was fast asleep after the gin and water, the mad\nlady, who was as cunning as a witch, would take the keys out of her\npocket, let herself out of her chamber, and go roaming about the house,\ndoing any wild mischief that came into her head.", "They say she had nearly\nburnt her husband in his bed once: but I don't know about that.", "However,\non this night, she set fire first to the hangings of the room next her\nown, and then she got down to a lower storey, and made her way to the\nchamber that had been the governess's--(she was like as if she knew\nsomehow how matters had gone on, and had a spite at her)--and she kindled\nthe bed there; but there was nobody sleeping in it, fortunately.", "The\ngoverness had run away two months before; and for all Mr. Rochester\nsought her as if she had been the most precious thing he had in the\nworld, he never could hear a word of her; and he grew savage--quite\nsavage on his disappointment: he never was a wild man, but he got\ndangerous after he lost her.", "He would be alone, too.", "He sent Mrs.\nFairfax, the housekeeper, away to her friends at a distance; but he did\nit handsomely, for he settled an annuity on her for life: and she\ndeserved it--she was a very good woman.", "Miss Adele, a ward he had, was\nput to school.", "He broke off acquaintance with all the gentry, and shut\nhimself up like a hermit at the Hall.\"", "\"What!", "did he not leave England?\"", "\"Leave England?", "Bless you, no!", "He would not cross the door-stones of\nthe house, except at night, when he walked just like a ghost about the\ngrounds and in the orchard as if he had lost his senses--which it is my\nopinion he had; for a more spirited, bolder, keener gentleman than he was\nbefore that midge of a governess crossed him, you never saw, ma'am.", "He\nwas not a man given to wine, or cards, or racing, as some are, and he was\nnot so very handsome; but he had a courage and a will of his own, if ever\nman had.", "I knew him from a boy, you see: and for my part, I have often\nwished that Miss Eyre had been sunk in the sea before she came to\nThornfield Hall.\"", "\"Then Mr. Rochester was at home when the fire broke out?\"", "\"Yes, indeed was he; and he went up to the attics when all was burning\nabove and below, and got the servants out of their beds and helped them\ndown himself, and went back to get his mad wife out of her cell.", "And\nthen they called out to him that she was on the roof, where she was\nstanding, waving her arms, above the battlements, and shouting out till\nthey could hear her a mile off: I saw her and heard her with my own eyes.", "She was a big woman, and had long black hair: we could see it streaming\nagainst the flames as she stood.", "I witnessed, and several more\nwitnessed, Mr. Rochester ascend through the sky-light on to the roof; we\nheard him call 'Bertha!'", "We saw him approach her; and then, ma'am, she\nyelled and gave a spring, and the next minute she lay smashed on the\npavement.\"", "{The next minute she lay smashed on the pavement: p413.jpg}\n\n\"Dead?\"", "\"Dead!", "Ay, dead as the stones on which her brains and blood were\nscattered.\"", "\"Good God!\"", "\"You may well say so, ma'am: it was frightful!\"", "He shuddered.", "\"And afterwards?\"", "I urged.", "\"Well, ma'am, afterwards the house was burnt to the ground: there are\nonly some bits of walls standing now.\"", "\"Were any other lives lost?\"", "\"No--perhaps it would have been better if there had.\"", "\"What do you mean?\"", "\"Poor Mr.", "Edward!\"", "he ejaculated, \"I little thought ever to have seen it!", "Some say it was a just judgment on him for keeping his first marriage\nsecret, and wanting to take another wife while he had one living: but I\npity him, for my part.\"", "\"You said he was alive?\"", "I exclaimed.", "\"Yes, yes: he is alive; but many think he had better be dead.\"", "\"Why?", "How?\"", "My blood was again running cold.", "\"Where is he?\"", "I\ndemanded.", "\"Is he in England?\"", "\"Ay--ay--he's in England; he can't get out of England, I fancy--he's a\nfixture now.\"", "What agony was this!", "And the man seemed resolved to protract it.", "\"He is stone-blind,\" he said at last.", "\"Yes, he is stone-blind, is Mr.", "Edward.\"", "I had dreaded worse.", "I had dreaded he was mad.", "I summoned strength to\nask what had caused this calamity.", "\"It was all his own courage, and a body may say, his kindness, in a way,\nma'am: he wouldn't leave the house till every one else was out before\nhim.", "As he came down the great staircase at last, after Mrs. Rochester\nhad flung herself from the battlements, there was a great crash--all\nfell.", "He was taken out from under the ruins, alive, but sadly hurt: a\nbeam had fallen in such a way as to protect him partly; but one eye was\nknocked out, and one hand so crushed that Mr. Carter, the surgeon, had to\namputate it directly.", "The other eye inflamed: he lost the sight of that\nalso.", "He is now helpless, indeed--blind and a cripple.\"", "\"Where is he?", "Where does he now live?\"", "\"At Ferndean, a manor-house on a farm he has, about thirty miles off:\nquite a desolate spot.\"", "\"Who is with him?\"", "\"Old John and his wife: he would have none else.", "He is quite broken\ndown, they say.\"", "\"Have you any sort of conveyance?\"", "\"We have a chaise, ma'am, a very handsome chaise.\"", "\"Let it be got ready instantly; and if your post-boy can drive me to\nFerndean before dark this day, I'll pay both you and him twice the hire\nyou usually demand.\"" ]

[ "JOHN.\"", "His lunatic wife: and you have nothing to do\nwith him: you dare not speak to him or seek his presence.", "The suggestion was sensible, and yet I could not force myself to act on\nit.", "No need to listen for\ndoors opening--to fancy steps on the pavement or the gravel-walk!", "Dreadful\nquestion: there was no one here to answer it--not even dumb sign, mute\ntoken.", "\"I mean the present gentleman, Mr. Edward's father,\" he explained.", "He would be alone, too.", "\"What!", "He\nwas not a man given to wine, or cards, or racing, as some are, and he was\nnot so very handsome; but he had a courage and a will of his own, if ever\nman had.", "Some say it was a just judgment on him for keeping his first marriage\nsecret, and wanting to take another wife while he had one living: but I\npity him, for my part.\"" ]

[ "I\nbreathed again: my blood resumed its flow.", "\"Where is he?", "\"Good God!\"", "She was a little small thing, they say,\nalmost like a child.", "\"Leave England?", "where meantime was the hapless owner of this wreck?", "\"At Ferndean, a manor-house on a farm he has, about thirty miles off:\nquite a desolate spot.\"", "Bless you, no!", "\"No, ma'am--oh, no!", "Amidst the silence of those\nsolitary roads and desert hills, I heard it approach from a great\ndistance." ]

[ "The host himself brought\nmy breakfast into the parlour.", "I requested him to shut the door and sit\ndown: I had some questions to ask him.", "But when he complied, I scarcely\nknew how to begin; such horror had I of the possible answers.", "And yet\nthe spectacle of desolation I had just left prepared me in a measure for\na tale of misery.", "The host was a respectable-looking, middle-aged man.", "\"You know Thornfield Hall, of course?\"", "I managed to say at last.", "\"Yes, ma'am; I lived there once.\"", "\"Did you?\"", "Not in my time, I thought: you are a stranger to me.", "\"I was the late Mr. Rochester's butler,\" he added." ]

[ "\n\nThe daylight came.", "I rose at dawn.", "I busied myself for an hour or two\nwith arranging my things in my chamber, drawers, and wardrobe, in the\norder wherein I should wish to leave them during a brief absence.", "Meantime, I heard St. John quit his room.", "He stopped at my door: I\nfeared he would knock--no, but a slip of paper was passed under the door.", "I took it up.", "It bore these words--\n\n\"You left me too suddenly last night.", "Had you stayed but a little\nlonger, you would have laid your hand on the Christian's cross and the\nangel's crown.", "I shall expect your clear decision when I return this day\nfortnight.", "Meantime, watch and pray that you enter not into temptation:\nthe spirit, I trust, is willing, but the flesh, I see, is weak.", "He is now helpless, indeed--blind and a cripple.\"", "\"Where is he?", "Where does he now live?\"", "\"At Ferndean, a manor-house on a farm he has, about thirty miles off:\nquite a desolate spot.\"", "\"Who is with him?\"", "\"Old John and his wife: he would have none else.", "He is quite broken\ndown, they say.\"", "\"Have you any sort of conveyance?\"", "\"We have a chaise, ma'am, a very handsome chaise.\"", "\"Let it be got ready instantly; and if your post-boy can drive me to\nFerndean before dark this day, I'll pay both you and him twice the hire\nyou usually demand.\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe manor-house of Ferndean was a building of considerable antiquity,\nmoderate size, and no architectural pretensions, deep buried in a wood.", "I\nhad heard of it before.", "Mr. Rochester often spoke of it, and sometimes\nwent there.", "His father had purchased the estate for the sake of the game\ncovers.", "He would have let the house, but could find no tenant, in\nconsequence of its ineligible and insalubrious site.", "Ferndean then\nremained uninhabited and unfurnished, with the exception of some two or\nthree rooms fitted up for the accommodation of the squire when he went\nthere in the season to shoot.", "To this house I came just ere dark on an evening marked by the\ncharacteristics of sad sky, cold gale, and continued small penetrating\nrain.", "The last mile I performed on foot, having dismissed the chaise and\ndriver with the double remuneration I had promised.", "Even when within a\nvery short distance of the manor-house, you could see nothing of it, so\nthick and dark grew the timber of the gloomy wood about it.", "Iron gates\nbetween granite pillars showed me where to enter, and passing through\nthem, I found myself at once in the twilight of close-ranked trees.", "There\nwas a grass-grown track descending the forest aisle between hoar and\nknotty shafts and under branched arches.", "I followed it, expecting soon\nto reach the dwelling; but it stretched on and on, it wound far and\nfarther: no sign of habitation or grounds was visible.", "I thought I had taken a wrong direction and lost my way.", "The darkness of\nnatural as well as of sylvan dusk gathered over me.", "I looked round in\nsearch of another road.", "There was none: all was interwoven stem,\ncolumnar trunk, dense summer foliage--no opening anywhere.", "I proceeded: at last my way opened, the trees thinned a little; presently\nI beheld a railing, then the house--scarce, by this dim light,\ndistinguishable from the trees; so dank and green were its decaying\nwalls.", "Entering a portal, fastened only by a latch, I stood amidst a\nspace of enclosed ground, from which the wood swept away in a semicircle.", "There were no flowers, no garden-beds; only a broad gravel-walk girdling\na grass-plat, and this set in the heavy frame of the forest.", "The house\npresented two pointed gables in its front; the windows were latticed and\nnarrow: the front door was narrow too, one step led up to it.", "The whole\nlooked, as the host of the Rochester Arms had said, \"quite a desolate\nspot.\"", "It was as still as a church on a week-day: the pattering rain on\nthe forest leaves was the only sound audible in its vicinage.", "\"Can there be life here?\"", "I asked.", "Yes, life of some kind there was; for I heard a movement--that narrow\nfront-door was unclosing, and some shape was about to issue from the\ngrange.", "It opened slowly: a figure came out into the twilight and stood on the\nstep; a man without a hat: he stretched forth his hand as if to feel\nwhether it rained.", "Dusk as it was, I had recognised him--it was my\nmaster, Edward Fairfax Rochester, and no other.", "I stayed my step, almost my breath, and stood to watch him--to examine\nhim, myself unseen, and alas!", "to him invisible.", "It was a sudden meeting,\nand one in which rapture was kept well in check by pain.", "I had no\ndifficulty in restraining my voice from exclamation, my step from hasty\nadvance.", "His form was of the same strong and stalwart contour as ever: his port\nwas still erect, his hair was still raven black; nor were his features\naltered or sunk: not in one year's space, by any sorrow, could his\nathletic strength be quelled or his vigorous prime blighted.", "But in his\ncountenance I saw a change: that looked desperate and brooding--that\nreminded me of some wronged and fettered wild beast or bird, dangerous to\napproach in his sullen woe.", "The caged eagle, whose gold-ringed eyes\ncruelty has extinguished, might look as looked that sightless Samson.", "And, reader, do you think I feared him in his blind ferocity?--if you do,\nyou little know me.", "A soft hope blest with my sorrow that soon I should\ndare to drop a kiss on that brow of rock, and on those lips so sternly\nsealed beneath it: but not yet.", "I would not accost him yet.", "He descended the one step, and advanced slowly and gropingly towards the\ngrass-plat.", "Where was his daring stride now?", "Then he paused, as if he\nknew not which way to turn.", "He lifted his hand and opened his eyelids;\ngazed blank, and with a straining effort, on the sky, and toward the\namphitheatre of trees: one saw that all to him was void darkness.", "He\nstretched his right hand (the left arm, the mutilated one, he kept hidden\nin his bosom); he seemed to wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay\naround him: he met but vacancy still; for the trees were some yards off\nwhere he stood.", "He relinquished the endeavour, folded his arms, and\nstood quiet and mute in the rain, now falling fast on his uncovered head.", "At this moment John approached him from some quarter.", "\"Will you take my arm, sir?\"", "he said; \"there is a heavy shower coming on:\nhad you not better go in?\"", "\"Let me alone,\" was the answer.", "John withdrew without having observed me.", "Mr. Rochester now tried to\nwalk about: vainly,--all was too uncertain.", "He groped his way back to\nthe house, and, re-entering it, closed the door.", "I now drew near and knocked: John's wife opened for me.", "\"Mary,\" I said,\n\"how are you?\"", "She started as if she had seen a ghost: I calmed her.", "To her hurried \"Is\nit really you, miss, come at this late hour to this lonely place?\"", "I\nanswered by taking her hand; and then I followed her into the kitchen,\nwhere John now sat by a good fire.", "I explained to them, in few words,\nthat I had heard all which had happened since I left Thornfield, and that\nI was come to see Mr. Rochester.", "I asked John to go down to the turn-\npike-house, where I had dismissed the chaise, and bring my trunk, which I\nhad left there: and then, while I removed my bonnet and shawl, I\nquestioned Mary as to whether I could be accommodated at the Manor House\nfor the night; and finding that arrangements to that effect, though\ndifficult, would not be impossible, I informed her I should stay.", "Just\nat this moment the parlour-bell rang.", "\"When you go in,\" said I, \"tell your master that a person wishes to speak\nto him, but do not give my name.\"", "\"I don't think he will see you,\" she answered; \"he refuses everybody.\"", "When she returned, I inquired what he had said.", "\"You are to send in your\nname and your business,\" she replied.", "She then proceeded to fill a glass\nwith water, and place it on a tray, together with candles.", "\"Is that what he rang for?\"", "I asked.", "\"Yes: he always has candles brought in at dark, though he is blind.\"", "\"Give the tray to me; I will carry it in.\"", "I took it from her hand: she pointed me out the parlour door.", "The tray\nshook as I held it; the water spilt from the glass; my heart struck my\nribs loud and fast.", "Mary opened the door for me, and shut it behind me.", "This parlour looked gloomy: a neglected handful of fire burnt low in the\ngrate; and, leaning over it, with his head supported against the high,\nold-fashioned mantelpiece, appeared the blind tenant of the room.", "His\nold dog, Pilot, lay on one side, removed out of the way, and coiled up as\nif afraid of being inadvertently trodden upon.", "Pilot pricked up his ears\nwhen I came in: then he jumped up with a yelp and a whine, and bounded\ntowards me: he almost knocked the tray from my hands.", "I set it on the\ntable; then patted him, and said softly, \"Lie down!\"", "Mr. Rochester\nturned mechanically to _see_ what the commotion was: but as he _saw_\nnothing, he returned and sighed.", "\"Give me the water, Mary,\" he said.", "I approached him with the now only half-filled glass; Pilot followed me,\nstill excited.", "\"What is the matter?\"", "he inquired.", "\"Down, Pilot!\"", "I again said.", "He checked the water on its way to his\nlips, and seemed to listen: he drank, and put the glass down.", "\"This is\nyou, Mary, is it not?\"", "\"Mary is in the kitchen,\" I answered.", "He put out his hand with a quick gesture, but not seeing where I stood,\nhe did not touch me.", "\"Who is this?", "Who is this?\"", "he demanded, trying,\nas it seemed, to _see_ with those sightless eyes--unavailing and\ndistressing attempt!", "\"Answer me--speak again!\"", "he ordered, imperiously\nand aloud.", "\"Will you have a little more water, sir?", "I spilt half of what was in the\nglass,\" I said.", "\"_Who_ is it?", "_What_ is it?", "Who speaks?\"", "\"Pilot knows me, and John and Mary know I am here.", "I came only this\nevening,\" I answered.", "\"Great God!--what delusion has come over me?", "What sweet madness has\nseized me?\"", "\"No delusion--no madness: your mind, sir, is too strong for delusion,\nyour health too sound for frenzy.\"", "\"And where is the speaker?", "Is it only a voice?", "Oh!", "I _cannot_ see, but\nI must feel, or my heart will stop and my brain burst.", "Whatever--whoever\nyou are--be perceptible to the touch or I cannot live!\"", "He groped; I arrested his wandering hand, and prisoned it in both mine.", "\"Her very fingers!\"", "he cried; \"her small, slight fingers!", "If so there\nmust be more of her.\"", "The muscular hand broke from my custody; my arm was seized, my\nshoulder--neck--waist--I was entwined and gathered to him.", "\"Is it Jane?", "_What_ is it?", "This is her shape--this is her size--\"\n\n\"And this her voice,\" I added.", "\"She is all here: her heart, too.", "God\nbless you, sir!", "I am glad to be so near you again.\"", "\"Jane Eyre!--Jane Eyre,\" was all he said.", "\"My dear master,\" I answered, \"I am Jane Eyre: I have found you out--I am\ncome back to you.\"", "\"In truth?--in the flesh?", "My living Jane?\"", "\"You touch me, sir,--you hold me, and fast enough: I am not cold like a\ncorpse, nor vacant like air, am I?\"", "\"My living darling!", "These are certainly her limbs, and these her\nfeatures; but I cannot be so blest, after all my misery.", "It is a dream;\nsuch dreams as I have had at night when I have clasped her once more to\nmy heart, as I do now; and kissed her, as thus--and felt that she loved\nme, and trusted that she would not leave me.\"", "\"Which I never will, sir, from this day.\"", "\"Never will, says the vision?", "But I always woke and found it an empty\nmockery; and I was desolate and abandoned--my life dark, lonely,\nhopeless--my soul athirst and forbidden to drink--my heart famished and\nnever to be fed.", "Gentle, soft dream, nestling in my arms now, you will\nfly, too, as your sisters have all fled before you: but kiss me before\nyou go--embrace me, Jane.\"", "\"There, sir--and there!\"'", "I pressed my lips to his once brilliant and now rayless eyes--I swept his\nhair from his brow, and kissed that too.", "He suddenly seemed to arouse\nhimself: the conviction of the reality of all this seized him.", "\"It is you--is it, Jane?", "You are come back to me then?\"", "\"I am.\"", "\"And you do not lie dead in some ditch under some stream?", "And you are\nnot a pining outcast amongst strangers?\"", "\"No, sir!", "I am an independent woman now.\"", "\"Independent!", "What do you mean, Jane?\"", "\"My uncle in Madeira is dead, and he left me five thousand pounds.\"", "\"Ah!", "this is practical--this is real!\"", "he cried: \"I should never dream\nthat.", "Besides, there is that peculiar voice of hers, so animating and\npiquant, as well as soft: it cheers my withered heart; it puts life into\nit.--What, Janet!", "Are you an independent woman?", "A rich woman?\"", "\"If you won't let me live with you, I can build a house of my own close\nup to your door, and you may come and sit in my parlour when you want\ncompany of an evening.\"", "\"But as you are rich, Jane, you have now, no doubt, friends who will look\nafter you, and not suffer you to devote yourself to a blind lameter like\nme?\"", "\"I told you I am independent, sir, as well as rich: I am my own\nmistress.\"", "\"And you will stay with me?\"", "\"Certainly--unless you object.", "I will be your neighbour, your nurse,\nyour housekeeper.", "I find you lonely: I will be your companion--to read\nto you, to walk with you, to sit with you, to wait on you, to be eyes and\nhands to you.", "Cease to look so melancholy, my dear master; you shall not\nbe left desolate, so long as I live.\"", "He replied not: he seemed serious--abstracted; he sighed; he half-opened\nhis lips as if to speak: he closed them again.", "I felt a little\nembarrassed.", "Perhaps I had too rashly over-leaped conventionalities; and\nhe, like St. John, saw impropriety in my inconsiderateness.", "I had indeed\nmade my proposal from the idea that he wished and would ask me to be his\nwife: an expectation, not the less certain because unexpressed, had\nbuoyed me up, that he would claim me at once as his own.", "But no hint to\nthat effect escaping him and his countenance becoming more overcast, I\nsuddenly remembered that I might have been all wrong, and was perhaps\nplaying the fool unwittingly; and I began gently to withdraw myself from\nhis arms--but he eagerly snatched me closer.", "\"No--no--Jane; you must not go.", "No--I have touched you, heard you, felt\nthe comfort of your presence--the sweetness of your consolation: I cannot\ngive up these joys.", "I have little left in myself--I must have you.", "The\nworld may laugh--may call me absurd, selfish--but it does not signify.", "My\nvery soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly\nvengeance on its frame.\"", "\"Well, sir, I will stay with you: I have said so.\"", "\"Yes--but you understand one thing by staying with me; and I understand\nanother.", "You, perhaps, could make up your mind to be about my hand and\nchair--to wait on me as a kind little nurse (for you have an affectionate\nheart and a generous spirit, which prompt you to make sacrifices for\nthose you pity), and that ought to suffice for me no doubt.", "I suppose I\nshould now entertain none but fatherly feelings for you: do you think so?", "Come--tell me.\"", "\"I will think what you like, sir: I am content to be only your nurse, if\nyou think it better.\"", "\"But you cannot always be my nurse, Janet: you are young--you must marry\none day.\"", "\"I don't care about being married.\"", "\"You should care, Janet: if I were what I once was, I would try to make\nyou care--but--a sightless block!\"", "He relapsed again into gloom.", "I, on the contrary, became more cheerful,\nand took fresh courage: these last words gave me an insight as to where\nthe difficulty lay; and as it was no difficulty with me, I felt quite\nrelieved from my previous embarrassment.", "I resumed a livelier vein of\nconversation.", "\"It is time some one undertook to rehumanise you,\" said I, parting his\nthick and long uncut locks; \"for I see you are being metamorphosed into a\nlion, or something of that sort.", "You have a 'faux air' of Nebuchadnezzar\nin the fields about you, that is certain: your hair reminds me of eagles'\nfeathers; whether your nails are grown like birds' claws or not, I have\nnot yet noticed.\"", "\"On this arm, I have neither hand nor nails,\" he said, drawing the\nmutilated limb from his breast, and showing it to me.", "\"It is a mere\nstump--a ghastly sight!", "Don't you think so, Jane?\"", "\"It is a pity to see it; and a pity to see your eyes--and the scar of\nfire on your forehead: and the worst of it is, one is in danger of loving\nyou too well for all this; and making too much of you.\"", "\"I thought you would be revolted, Jane, when you saw my arm, and my\ncicatrised visage.\"", "\"Did you?", "Don't tell me so--lest I should say something disparaging to\nyour judgment.", "Now, let me leave you an instant, to make a better fire,\nand have the hearth swept up.", "Can you tell when there is a good fire?\"", "\"Yes; with the right eye I see a glow--a ruddy haze.\"", "\"And you see the candles?\"", "\"Very dimly--each is a luminous cloud.\"", "\"Can you see me?\"", "\"No, my fairy: but I am only too thankful to hear and feel you.\"", "\"When do you take supper?\"", "\"I never take supper.\"", "\"But you shall have some to-night.", "I am hungry: so are you, I daresay,\nonly you forget.\"", "Summoning Mary, I soon had the room in more cheerful order: I prepared\nhim, likewise, a comfortable repast.", "My spirits were excited, and with\npleasure and ease I talked to him during supper, and for a long time\nafter.", "There was no harassing restraint, no repressing of glee and\nvivacity with him; for with him I was at perfect ease, because I knew I\nsuited him; all I said or did seemed either to console or revive him.", "Delightful consciousness!", "It brought to life and light my whole nature:\nin his presence I thoroughly lived; and he lived in mine.", "Blind as he\nwas, smiles played over his face, joy dawned on his forehead: his\nlineaments softened and warmed.", "After supper, he began to ask me many questions, of where I had been,\nwhat I had been doing, how I had found him out; but I gave him only very\npartial replies: it was too late to enter into particulars that night.", "Besides, I wished to touch no deep-thrilling chord--to open no fresh well\nof emotion in his heart: my sole present aim was to cheer him.", "Cheered,\nas I have said, he was: and yet but by fits.", "If a moment's silence broke\nthe conversation, he would turn restless, touch me, then say, \"Jane.\"", "\"You are altogether a human being, Jane?", "You are certain of that?\"", "{You are altogether a human being, Jane?", "You are certain of that?", ":\np422.jpg}\n\n\"I conscientiously believe so, Mr.", "Rochester.\"", "\"Yet how, on this dark and doleful evening, could you so suddenly rise on\nmy lone hearth?", "I stretched my hand to take a glass of water from a\nhireling, and it was given me by you: I asked a question, expecting\nJohn's wife to answer me, and your voice spoke at my ear.\"", "\"Because I had come in, in Mary's stead, with the tray.\"", "\"And there is enchantment in the very hour I am now spending with you.", "Who can tell what a dark, dreary, hopeless life I have dragged on for\nmonths past?", "Doing nothing, expecting nothing; merging night in day;\nfeeling but the sensation of cold when I let the fire go out, of hunger\nwhen I forgot to eat: and then a ceaseless sorrow, and, at times, a very\ndelirium of desire to behold my Jane again.", "Yes: for her restoration I\nlonged, far more than for that of my lost sight.", "How can it be that Jane\nis with me, and says she loves me?", "Will she not depart as suddenly as\nshe came?", "To-morrow, I fear I shall find her no more.\"", "A commonplace, practical reply, out of the train of his own disturbed\nideas, was, I was sure, the best and most reassuring for him in this\nframe of mind.", "I passed my finger over his eyebrows, and remarked that\nthey were scorched, and that I would apply something which would make\nthem grow as broad and black as ever.", "\"Where is the use of doing me good in any way, beneficent spirit, when,\nat some fatal moment, you will again desert me--passing like a shadow,\nwhither and how to me unknown, and for me remaining afterwards\nundiscoverable?", "\"Have you a pocket-comb about you, sir?\"", "\"What for, Jane?\"", "\"Just to comb out this shaggy black mane.", "I find you rather alarming,\nwhen I examine you close at hand: you talk of my being a fairy, but I am\nsure, you are more like a brownie.\"", "\"Am I hideous, Jane?\"", "\"Very, sir: you always were, you know.\"", "\"Humph!", "The wickedness has not been taken out of you, wherever you have\nsojourned.\"", "\"Yet I have been with good people; far better than you: a hundred times\nbetter people; possessed of ideas and views you never entertained in your\nlife: quite more refined and exalted.\"", "\"Who the deuce have you been with?\"", "\"If you twist in that way you will make me pull the hair out of your\nhead; and then I think you will cease to entertain doubts of my\nsubstantiality.\"", "\"Who have you been with, Jane?\"", "\"You shall not get it out of me to-night, sir; you must wait till\nto-morrow; to leave my tale half told, will, you know, be a sort of\nsecurity that I shall appear at your breakfast table to finish it.", "By\nthe bye, I must mind not to rise on your hearth with only a glass of\nwater then: I must bring an egg at the least, to say nothing of fried\nham.\"", "\"You mocking changeling--fairy-born and human-bred!", "You make me feel as\nI have not felt these twelve months.", "If Saul could have had you for his\nDavid, the evil spirit would have been exorcised without the aid of the\nharp.\"", "\"There, sir, you are redd up and made decent.", "Now I'll leave you: I have\nbeen travelling these last three days, and I believe I am tired.", "Good\nnight.\"", "\"Just one word, Jane: were there only ladies in the house where you have\nbeen?\"", "I laughed and made my escape, still laughing as I ran upstairs.", "\"A good\nidea!\"", "I thought with glee.", "\"I see I have the means of fretting him out\nof his melancholy for some time to come.\"", "Very early the next morning I heard him up and astir, wandering from one\nroom to another.", "As soon as Mary came down I heard the question: \"Is\nMiss Eyre here?\"", "Then: \"Which room did you put her into?", "Was it dry?", "Is\nshe up?", "Go and ask if she wants anything; and when she will come down.\"", "I came down as soon as I thought there was a prospect of breakfast.", "Entering the room very softly, I had a view of him before he discovered\nmy presence.", "It was mournful, indeed, to witness the subjugation of that\nvigorous spirit to a corporeal infirmity.", "He sat in his chair--still,\nbut not at rest: expectant evidently; the lines of now habitual sadness\nmarking his strong features.", "His countenance reminded one of a lamp\nquenched, waiting to be re-lit--and alas!", "it was not himself that could\nnow kindle the lustre of animated expression: he was dependent on another\nfor that office!", "I had meant to be gay and careless, but the\npowerlessness of the strong man touched my heart to the quick: still I\naccosted him with what vivacity I could.", "\"It is a bright, sunny morning, sir,\" I said.", "\"The rain is over and\ngone, and there is a tender shining after it: you shall have a walk\nsoon.\"", "I had wakened the glow: his features beamed.", "\"Oh, you are indeed there, my skylark!", "Come to me.", "You are not gone:\nnot vanished?", "I heard one of your kind an hour ago, singing high over\nthe wood: but its song had no music for me, any more than the rising sun\nhad rays.", "All the melody on earth is concentrated in my Jane's tongue to\nmy ear (I am glad it is not naturally a silent one): all the sunshine I\ncan feel is in her presence.\"", "The water stood in my eyes to hear this avowal of his dependence; just as\nif a royal eagle, chained to a perch, should be forced to entreat a\nsparrow to become its purveyor.", "But I would not be lachrymose: I dashed\noff the salt drops, and busied myself with preparing breakfast.", "Most of the morning was spent in the open air.", "I led him out of the wet\nand wild wood into some cheerful fields: I described to him how\nbrilliantly green they were; how the flowers and hedges looked refreshed;\nhow sparklingly blue was the sky.", "I sought a seat for him in a hidden\nand lovely spot, a dry stump of a tree; nor did I refuse to let him, when\nseated, place me on his knee.", "Why should I, when both he and I were\nhappier near than apart?", "Pilot lay beside us: all was quiet.", "He broke\nout suddenly while clasping me in his arms--\n\n\"Cruel, cruel deserter!", "Oh, Jane, what did I feel when I discovered you\nhad fled from Thornfield, and when I could nowhere find you; and, after\nexamining your apartment, ascertained that you had taken no money, nor\nanything which could serve as an equivalent!", "A pearl necklace I had\ngiven you lay untouched in its little casket; your trunks were left\ncorded and locked as they had been prepared for the bridal tour.", "What\ncould my darling do, I asked, left destitute and penniless?", "And what did\nshe do?", "Let me hear now.\"", "Thus urged, I began the narrative of my experience for the last year.", "I\nsoftened considerably what related to the three days of wandering and\nstarvation, because to have told him all would have been to inflict\nunnecessary pain: the little I did say lacerated his faithful heart\ndeeper than I wished.", "I should not have left him thus, he said, without any means of making my\nway: I should have told him my intention.", "I should have confided in him:\nhe would never have forced me to be his mistress.", "Violent as he had\nseemed in his despair, he, in truth, loved me far too well and too\ntenderly to constitute himself my tyrant: he would have given me half his\nfortune, without demanding so much as a kiss in return, rather than I\nshould have flung myself friendless on the wide world.", "I had endured, he\nwas certain, more than I had confessed to him.", "\"Well, whatever my sufferings had been, they were very short,\" I\nanswered: and then I proceeded to tell him how I had been received at\nMoor House; how I had obtained the office of schoolmistress, &c. The\naccession of fortune, the discovery of my relations, followed in due\norder.", "Of course, St. John Rivers' name came in frequently in the\nprogress of my tale.", "When I had done, that name was immediately taken\nup.", "\"This St. John, then, is your cousin?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"You have spoken of him often: do you like him?\"", "\"He was a very good man, sir; I could not help liking him.\"", "\"A good man.", "Does that mean a respectable well-conducted man of fifty?", "Or what does it mean?\"", "\"St John was only twenty-nine, sir.\"", "\"'_Jeune encore_,' as the French say.", "Is he a person of low stature,\nphlegmatic, and plain.", "A person whose goodness consists rather in his\nguiltlessness of vice, than in his prowess in virtue.\"", "\"He is untiringly active.", "Great and exalted deeds are what he lives to\nperform.\"", "\"But his brain?", "That is probably rather soft?", "He means well: but you\nshrug your shoulders to hear him talk?\"", "\"He talks little, sir: what he does say is ever to the point.", "His brain\nis first-rate, I should think not impressible, but vigorous.\"", "\"Is he an able man, then?\"", "\"Truly able.\"", "\"A thoroughly educated man?\"", "\"St. John is an accomplished and profound scholar.\"", "\"His manners, I think, you said are not to your taste?--priggish and\nparsonic?\"", "\"I never mentioned his manners; but, unless I had a very bad taste, they\nmust suit it; they are polished, calm, and gentlemanlike.\"", "\"His appearance,--I forget what description you gave of his appearance;--a\nsort of raw curate, half strangled with his white neckcloth, and stilted\nup on his thick-soled high-lows, eh?\"", "\"St. John dresses well.", "He is a handsome man: tall, fair, with blue\neyes, and a Grecian profile.\"", "(Aside.)", "\"Damn him!\"", "--(To me.)", "\"Did you like him, Jane?\"", "\"Yes, Mr. Rochester, I liked him: but you asked me that before.\"", "I perceived, of course, the drift of my interlocutor.", "Jealousy had got\nhold of him: she stung him; but the sting was salutary: it gave him\nrespite from the gnawing fang of melancholy.", "I would not, therefore,\nimmediately charm the snake.", "\"Perhaps you would rather not sit any longer on my knee, Miss Eyre?\"", "was\nthe next somewhat unexpected observation.", "\"Why not, Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "\"The picture you have just drawn is suggestive of a rather too\noverwhelming contrast.", "Your words have delineated very prettily a\ngraceful Apollo: he is present to your imagination,--tall, fair, blue-\neyed, and with a Grecian profile.", "Your eyes dwell on a Vulcan,--a real\nblacksmith, brown, broad-shouldered: and blind and lame into the\nbargain.\"", "\"I never thought of it, before; but you certainly are rather like Vulcan,\nsir.\"", "\"Well, you can leave me, ma'am: but before you go\" (and he retained me by\na firmer grasp than ever), \"you will be pleased just to answer me a\nquestion or two.\"", "He paused.", "\"What questions, Mr.", "Rochester?\"", "Then followed this cross-examination.", "\"St. John made you schoolmistress of Morton before he knew you were his\ncousin?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"You would often see him?", "He would visit the school sometimes?\"", "\"Daily.\"", "\"He would approve of your plans, Jane?", "I know they would be clever, for\nyou are a talented creature!\"", "\"He approved of them--yes.\"", "\"He would discover many things in you he could not have expected to find?", "Some of your accomplishments are not ordinary.\"", "\"I don't know about that.\"", "\"You had a little cottage near the school, you say: did he ever come\nthere to see you?\"", "\"Now and then?\"", "\"Of an evening?\"", "\"Once or twice.\"", "A pause.", "\"How long did you reside with him and his sisters after the cousinship\nwas discovered?\"", "\"Five months.\"", "\"Did Rivers spend much time with the ladies of his family?\"", "\"Yes; the back parlour was both his study and ours: he sat near the\nwindow, and we by the table.\"", "\"Did he study much?\"", "\"A good deal.\"", "\"What?\"", "\"Hindostanee.\"", "\"And what did you do meantime?\"", "\"I learnt German, at first.\"", "\"Did he teach you?\"", "\"He did not understand German.\"", "\"Did he teach you nothing?\"", "\"A little Hindostanee.\"", "\"Rivers taught you Hindostanee?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And his sisters also?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Only you?\"", "\"Only me.\"", "\"Did you ask to learn?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"He wished to teach you?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "A second pause.", "\"Why did he wish it?", "Of what use could Hindostanee be to you?\"", "\"He intended me to go with him to India.\"", "\"Ah!", "here I reach the root of the matter.", "He wanted you to marry him?\"", "\"He asked me to marry him.\"", "\"That is a fiction--an impudent invention to vex me.\"", "\"I beg your pardon, it is the literal truth: he asked me more than once,\nand was as stiff about urging his point as ever you could be.\"", "\"Miss Eyre, I repeat it, you can leave me.", "How often am I to say the\nsame thing?", "Why do you remain pertinaciously perched on my knee, when I\nhave given you notice to quit?\"", "\"Because I am comfortable there.\"", "\"No, Jane, you are not comfortable there, because your heart is not with\nme: it is with this cousin--this St. John.", "Oh, till this moment, I\nthought my little Jane was all mine!", "I had a belief she loved me even\nwhen she left me: that was an atom of sweet in much bitter.", "Long as we\nhave been parted, hot tears as I have wept over our separation, I never\nthought that while I was mourning her, she was loving another!", "But it is\nuseless grieving.", "Jane, leave me: go and marry Rivers.\"", "\"Shake me off, then, sir,--push me away, for I'll not leave you of my own\naccord.\"", "\"Jane, I ever like your tone of voice: it still renews hope, it sounds so\ntruthful.", "When I hear it, it carries me back a year.", "I forget that you\nhave formed a new tie.", "But I am not a fool--go--\"\n\n\"Where must I go, sir?\"", "\"Your own way--with the husband you have chosen.\"", "\"Who is that?\"", "\"You know--this St. John Rivers.\"", "\"He is not my husband, nor ever will be.", "He does not love me: I do not\nlove him.", "He loves (as he _can_ love, and that is not as you love) a\nbeautiful young lady called Rosamond.", "He wanted to marry me only because\nhe thought I should make a suitable missionary's wife, which she would\nnot have done.", "He is good and great, but severe; and, for me, cold as an\niceberg.", "He is not like you, sir: I am not happy at his side, nor near\nhim, nor with him.", "He has no indulgence for me--no fondness.", "He sees\nnothing attractive in me; not even youth--only a few useful mental\npoints.--Then I must leave you, sir, to go to him?\"", "I shuddered involuntarily, and clung instinctively closer to my blind but\nbeloved master.", "He smiled.", "\"What, Jane!", "Is this true?", "Is such really the state of matters between\nyou and Rivers?\"", "\"Absolutely, sir!", "Oh, you need not be jealous!", "I wanted to tease you a\nlittle to make you less sad: I thought anger would be better than grief.", "But if you wish me to love you, could you but see how much I _do_ love\nyou, you would be proud and content.", "All my heart is yours, sir: it\nbelongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest\nof me from your presence for ever.\"", "Again, as he kissed me, painful thoughts darkened his aspect.", "\"My seared vision!", "My crippled strength!\"", "he murmured regretfully.", "I caressed, in order to soothe him.", "I knew of what he was thinking, and\nwanted to speak for him, but dared not.", "As he turned aside his face a\nminute, I saw a tear slide from under the sealed eyelid, and trickle down\nthe manly cheek.", "My heart swelled.", "\"I am no better than the old lightning-struck chestnut-tree in Thornfield\norchard,\" he remarked ere long.", "\"And what right would that ruin have to\nbid a budding woodbine cover its decay with freshness?\"", "\"You are no ruin, sir--no lightning-struck tree: you are green and\nvigorous.", "Plants will grow about your roots, whether you ask them or\nnot, because they take delight in your bountiful shadow; and as they grow\nthey will lean towards you, and wind round you, because your strength\noffers them so safe a prop.\"", "Again he smiled: I gave him comfort.", "\"You speak of friends, Jane?\"", "he asked.", "\"Yes, of friends,\" I answered rather hesitatingly: for I knew I meant\nmore than friends, but could not tell what other word to employ.", "He\nhelped me.", "\"Ah!", "Jane.", "But I want a wife.\"", "\"Do you, sir?\"", "\"Yes: is it news to you?\"", "\"Of course: you said nothing about it before.\"", "\"Is it unwelcome news?\"", "\"That depends on circumstances, sir--on your choice.\"", "\"Which you shall make for me, Jane.", "I will abide by your decision.\"", "\"Choose then, sir--_her who loves you best_.\"", "\"I will at least choose--_her I love best_.", "Jane, will you marry me?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"A poor blind man, whom you will have to lead about by the hand?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"A crippled man, twenty years older than you, whom you will have to wait\non?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Truly, Jane?\"", "\"Most truly, sir.\"", "\"Oh!", "my darling!", "God bless you and reward you!\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, if ever I did a good deed in my life--if ever I thought a\ngood thought--if ever I prayed a sincere and blameless prayer--if ever I\nwished a righteous wish,--I am rewarded now.", "To be your wife is, for me,\nto be as happy as I can be on earth.\"", "\"Because you delight in sacrifice.\"", "\"Sacrifice!", "What do I sacrifice?", "Famine for food, expectation for\ncontent.", "To be privileged to put my arms round what I value--to press my\nlips to what I love--to repose on what I trust: is that to make a\nsacrifice?", "If so, then certainly I delight in sacrifice.\"", "\"And to bear with my infirmities, Jane: to overlook my deficiencies.\"", "\"Which are none, sir, to me.", "I love you better now, when I can really be\nuseful to you, than I did in your state of proud independence, when you\ndisdained every part but that of the giver and protector.\"", "\"Hitherto I have hated to be helped--to be led: henceforth, I feel I\nshall hate it no more.", "I did not like to put my hand into a hireling's,\nbut it is pleasant to feel it circled by Jane's little fingers.", "I\npreferred utter loneliness to the constant attendance of servants; but\nJane's soft ministry will be a perpetual joy.", "Jane suits me: do I suit\nher?\"", "\"To the finest fibre of my nature, sir.\"", "\"The case being so, we have nothing in the world to wait for: we must be\nmarried instantly.\"", "He looked and spoke with eagerness: his old impetuosity was rising.", "\"We must become one flesh without any delay, Jane: there is but the\nlicence to get--then we marry.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I have just discovered the sun is far declined from its\nmeridian, and Pilot is actually gone home to his dinner.", "Let me look at\nyour watch.\"", "\"Fasten it into your girdle, Janet, and keep it henceforward: I have no\nuse for it.\"", "\"It is nearly four o'clock in the afternoon, sir.", "Don't you feel\nhungry?\"", "\"The third day from this must be our wedding-day, Jane.", "Never mind fine\nclothes and jewels, now: all that is not worth a fillip.\"", "\"The sun has dried up all the rain-drops, sir.", "The breeze is still: it\nis quite hot.\"", "\"Do you know, Jane, I have your little pearl necklace at this moment\nfastened round my bronze scrag under my cravat?", "I have worn it since the\nday I lost my only treasure, as a memento of her.\"", "\"We will go home through the wood: that will be the shadiest way.\"", "He pursued his own thoughts without heeding me.", "\"Jane!", "you think me, I daresay, an irreligious dog: but my heart swells\nwith gratitude to the beneficent God of this earth just now.", "He sees not\nas man sees, but far clearer: judges not as man judges, but far more\nwisely.", "I did wrong: I would have sullied my innocent flower--breathed\nguilt on its purity: the Omnipotent snatched it from me.", "I, in my stiff-\nnecked rebellion, almost cursed the dispensation: instead of bending to\nthe decree, I defied it.", "Divine justice pursued its course; disasters\ncame thick on me: I was forced to pass through the valley of the shadow\nof death.", "_His_ chastisements are mighty; and one smote me which has\nhumbled me for ever.", "You know I was proud of my strength: but what is it\nnow, when I must give it over to foreign guidance, as a child does its\nweakness?", "Of late, Jane--only--only of late--I began to see and\nacknowledge the hand of God in my doom.", "I began to experience remorse,\nrepentance; the wish for reconcilement to my Maker.", "I began sometimes to\npray: very brief prayers they were, but very sincere.", "\"Some days since: nay, I can number them--four; it was last Monday night,\na singular mood came over me: one in which grief replaced frenzy--sorrow,\nsullenness.", "I had long had the impression that since I could nowhere\nfind you, you must be dead.", "Late that night--perhaps it might be between\neleven and twelve o'clock--ere I retired to my dreary rest, I supplicated\nGod, that, if it seemed good to Him, I might soon be taken from this\nlife, and admitted to that world to come, where there was still hope of\nrejoining Jane.", "\"I was in my own room, and sitting by the window, which was open: it\nsoothed me to feel the balmy night-air; though I could see no stars and\nonly by a vague, luminous haze, knew the presence of a moon.", "I longed\nfor thee, Janet!", "Oh, I longed for thee both with soul and flesh!", "I\nasked of God, at once in anguish and humility, if I had not been long\nenough desolate, afflicted, tormented; and might not soon taste bliss and\npeace once more.", "That I merited all I endured, I acknowledged--that I\ncould scarcely endure more, I pleaded; and the alpha and omega of my\nheart's wishes broke involuntarily from my lips in the words--'Jane!", "Jane!", "Jane!'\"", "\"Did you speak these words aloud?\"", "\"I did, Jane.", "If any listener had heard me, he would have thought me\nmad: I pronounced them with such frantic energy.\"", "\"And it was last Monday night, somewhere near midnight?\"", "\"Yes; but the time is of no consequence: what followed is the strange\npoint.", "You will think me superstitious,--some superstition I have in my\nblood, and always had: nevertheless, this is true--true at least it is\nthat I heard what I now relate.", "\"As I exclaimed 'Jane!", "Jane!", "Jane!'", "a voice--I cannot tell whence the\nvoice came, but I know whose voice it was--replied, 'I am coming: wait\nfor me;' and a moment after, went whispering on the wind the words--'Where\nare you?'", "\"I'll tell you, if I can, the idea, the picture these words opened to my\nmind: yet it is difficult to express what I want to express.", "Ferndean is\nburied, as you see, in a heavy wood, where sound falls dull, and dies\nunreverberating.", "'Where are you?'", "seemed spoken amongst mountains; for I\nheard a hill-sent echo repeat the words.", "Cooler and fresher at the\nmoment the gale seemed to visit my brow: I could have deemed that in some\nwild, lone scene, I and Jane were meeting.", "In spirit, I believe we must\nhave met.", "You no doubt were, at that hour, in unconscious sleep, Jane:\nperhaps your soul wandered from its cell to comfort mine; for those were\nyour accents--as certain as I live--they were yours!\"", "Reader, it was on Monday night--near midnight--that I too had received\nthe mysterious summons: those were the very words by which I replied to\nit.", "I listened to Mr. Rochester's narrative, but made no disclosure in\nreturn.", "The coincidence struck me as too awful and inexplicable to be\ncommunicated or discussed.", "If I told anything, my tale would be such as\nmust necessarily make a profound impression on the mind of my hearer: and\nthat mind, yet from its sufferings too prone to gloom, needed not the\ndeeper shade of the supernatural.", "I kept these things then, and pondered\nthem in my heart.", "\"You cannot now wonder,\" continued my master, \"that when you rose upon me\nso unexpectedly last night, I had difficulty in believing you any other\nthan a mere voice and vision, something that would melt to silence and\nannihilation, as the midnight whisper and mountain echo had melted\nbefore.", "Now, I thank God!", "I know it to be otherwise.", "Yes, I thank\nGod!\"", "He put me off his knee, rose, and reverently lifting his hat from his\nbrow, and bending his sightless eyes to the earth, he stood in mute\ndevotion.", "Only the last words of the worship were audible.", "\"I thank my Maker, that, in the midst of judgment, he has remembered\nmercy.", "I humbly entreat my Redeemer to give me strength to lead\nhenceforth a purer life than I have done hitherto!\"", "Then he stretched his hand out to be led.", "I took that dear hand, held it\na moment to my lips, then let it pass round my shoulder: being so much\nlower of stature than he, I served both for his prop and guide.", "We\nentered the wood, and wended homeward." ]

[ "Just\nat this moment the parlour-bell rang.", "he cried: \"I should never dream\nthat.", "A rich woman?\"", "By\nthe bye, I must mind not to rise on your hearth with only a glass of\nwater then: I must bring an egg at the least, to say nothing of fried\nham.\"", "If Saul could have had you for his\nDavid, the evil spirit would have been exorcised without the aid of the\nharp.\"", "\"You have spoken of him often: do you like him?\"", "He means well: but you\nshrug your shoulders to hear him talk?\"", "I perceived, of course, the drift of my interlocutor.", "I would not, therefore,\nimmediately charm the snake.", "I longed\nfor thee, Janet!" ]

[ "\"Give me the water, Mary,\" he said.", "A rich woman?\"", "\"I never thought of it, before; but you certainly are rather like Vulcan,\nsir.\"", "he ordered, imperiously\nand aloud.", "My heart swelled.", "I looked round in\nsearch of another road.", "By\nthe bye, I must mind not to rise on your hearth with only a glass of\nwater then: I must bring an egg at the least, to say nothing of fried\nham.\"", "I stayed my step, almost my breath, and stood to watch him--to examine\nhim, myself unseen, and alas!", "\"A little Hindostanee.\"", "Come--tell me.\"" ]

[ "The water stood in my eyes to hear this avowal of his dependence; just as\nif a royal eagle, chained to a perch, should be forced to entreat a\nsparrow to become its purveyor.", "But I would not be lachrymose: I dashed\noff the salt drops, and busied myself with preparing breakfast.", "Most of the morning was spent in the open air.", "I led him out of the wet\nand wild wood into some cheerful fields: I described to him how\nbrilliantly green they were; how the flowers and hedges looked refreshed;\nhow sparklingly blue was the sky.", "I sought a seat for him in a hidden\nand lovely spot, a dry stump of a tree; nor did I refuse to let him, when\nseated, place me on his knee.", "Why should I, when both he and I were\nhappier near than apart?", "Pilot lay beside us: all was quiet.", "He broke\nout suddenly while clasping me in his arms--\n\n\"Cruel, cruel deserter!", "Oh, Jane, what did I feel when I discovered you\nhad fled from Thornfield, and when I could nowhere find you; and, after\nexamining your apartment, ascertained that you had taken no money, nor\nanything which could serve as an equivalent!", "A pearl necklace I had\ngiven you lay untouched in its little casket; your trunks were left\ncorded and locked as they had been prepared for the bridal tour.", "What\ncould my darling do, I asked, left destitute and penniless?" ]

[ "\n\nThe manor-house of Ferndean was a building of considerable antiquity,\nmoderate size, and no architectural pretensions, deep buried in a wood.", "I\nhad heard of it before.", "Mr. Rochester often spoke of it, and sometimes\nwent there.", "His father had purchased the estate for the sake of the game\ncovers.", "He would have let the house, but could find no tenant, in\nconsequence of its ineligible and insalubrious site.", "Ferndean then\nremained uninhabited and unfurnished, with the exception of some two or\nthree rooms fitted up for the accommodation of the squire when he went\nthere in the season to shoot.", "To this house I came just ere dark on an evening marked by the\ncharacteristics of sad sky, cold gale, and continued small penetrating\nrain.", "The last mile I performed on foot, having dismissed the chaise and\ndriver with the double remuneration I had promised.", "Even when within a\nvery short distance of the manor-house, you could see nothing of it, so\nthick and dark grew the timber of the gloomy wood about it.", "Iron gates\nbetween granite pillars showed me where to enter, and passing through\nthem, I found myself at once in the twilight of close-ranked trees.", "Now, I thank God!", "I know it to be otherwise.", "Yes, I thank\nGod!\"", "He put me off his knee, rose, and reverently lifting his hat from his\nbrow, and bending his sightless eyes to the earth, he stood in mute\ndevotion.", "Only the last words of the worship were audible.", "\"I thank my Maker, that, in the midst of judgment, he has remembered\nmercy.", "I humbly entreat my Redeemer to give me strength to lead\nhenceforth a purer life than I have done hitherto!\"", "Then he stretched his hand out to be led.", "I took that dear hand, held it\na moment to my lips, then let it pass round my shoulder: being so much\nlower of stature than he, I served both for his prop and guide.", "We\nentered the wood, and wended homeward." ]

[ "\n\nReader, I married him.", "A quiet wedding we had: he and I, the parson and\nclerk, were alone present.", "When we got back from church, I went into the\nkitchen of the manor-house, where Mary was cooking the dinner and John\ncleaning the knives, and I said--\n\n\"Mary, I have been married to Mr. Rochester this morning.\"", "The\nhousekeeper and her husband were both of that decent phlegmatic order of\npeople, to whom one may at any time safely communicate a remarkable piece\nof news without incurring the danger of having one's ears pierced by some\nshrill ejaculation, and subsequently stunned by a torrent of wordy\nwonderment.", "Mary did look up, and she did stare at me: the ladle with\nwhich she was basting a pair of chickens roasting at the fire, did for\nsome three minutes hang suspended in air; and for the same space of time\nJohn's knives also had rest from the polishing process: but Mary, bending\nagain over the roast, said only--\n\n\"Have you, Miss?", "Well, for sure!\"", "A short time after she pursued--\"I seed you go out with the master, but I\ndidn't know you were gone to church to be wed;\" and she basted away.", "John, when I turned to him, was grinning from ear to ear.", "\"I telled Mary how it would be,\" he said: \"I knew what Mr. Edward\" (John\nwas an old servant, and had known his master when he was the cadet of the\nhouse, therefore, he often gave him his Christian name)--\"I knew what Mr.\nEdward would do; and I was certain he would not wait long neither: and\nhe's done right, for aught I know.", "I wish you joy, Miss!\"", "and he\npolitely pulled his forelock.", "\"Thank you, John.", "Mr. Rochester told me to give you and Mary this.\"", "I\nput into his hand a five-pound note.", "Without waiting to hear more, I\nleft the kitchen.", "In passing the door of that sanctum some time after, I\ncaught the words--\n\n\"She'll happen do better for him nor ony o't' grand ladies.\"", "And again,\n\"If she ben't one o' th' handsomest, she's noan faal and varry\ngood-natured; and i' his een she's fair beautiful, onybody may see that.\"", "I wrote to Moor House and to Cambridge immediately, to say what I had\ndone: fully explaining also why I had thus acted.", "Diana and Mary\napproved the step unreservedly.", "Diana announced that she would just give\nme time to get over the honeymoon, and then she would come and see me.", "\"She had better not wait till then, Jane,\" said Mr. Rochester, when I\nread her letter to him; \"if she does, she will be too late, for our\nhoneymoon will shine our life long: its beams will only fade over your\ngrave or mine.\"", "How St. John received the news, I don't know: he never answered the\nletter in which I communicated it: yet six months after he wrote to me,\nwithout, however, mentioning Mr. Rochester's name or alluding to my\nmarriage.", "His letter was then calm, and, though very serious, kind.", "He\nhas maintained a regular, though not frequent, correspondence ever since:\nhe hopes I am happy, and trusts I am not of those who live without God in\nthe world, and only mind earthly things.", "You have not quite forgotten little Adele, have you, reader?", "I had not;\nI soon asked and obtained leave of Mr. Rochester, to go and see her at\nthe school where he had placed her.", "Her frantic joy at beholding me\nagain moved me much.", "She looked pale and thin: she said she was not\nhappy.", "I found the rules of the establishment were too strict, its\ncourse of study too severe for a child of her age: I took her home with\nme.", "I meant to become her governess once more, but I soon found this\nimpracticable; my time and cares were now required by another--my husband\nneeded them all.", "So I sought out a school conducted on a more indulgent\nsystem, and near enough to permit of my visiting her often, and bringing\nher home sometimes.", "I took care she should never want for anything that\ncould contribute to her comfort: she soon settled in her new abode,\nbecame very happy there, and made fair progress in her studies.", "As she\ngrew up, a sound English education corrected in a great measure her\nFrench defects; and when she left school, I found in her a pleasing and\nobliging companion: docile, good-tempered, and well-principled.", "By her\ngrateful attention to me and mine, she has long since well repaid any\nlittle kindness I ever had it in my power to offer her.", "My tale draws to its close: one word respecting my experience of married\nlife, and one brief glance at the fortunes of those whose names have most\nfrequently recurred in this narrative, and I have done.", "I have now been married ten years.", "I know what it is to live entirely\nfor and with what I love best on earth.", "I hold myself supremely\nblest--blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's\nlife as fully as he is mine.", "No woman was ever nearer to her mate than I\nam: ever more absolutely bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.", "I know\nno weariness of my Edward's society: he knows none of mine, any more than\nwe each do of the pulsation of the heart that beats in our separate\nbosoms; consequently, we are ever together.", "To be together is for us to\nbe at once as free as in solitude, as gay as in company.", "We talk, I\nbelieve, all day long: to talk to each other is but a more animated and\nan audible thinking.", "All my confidence is bestowed on him, all his\nconfidence is devoted to me; we are precisely suited in character--perfect\nconcord is the result.", "Mr. Rochester continued blind the first two years of our union; perhaps\nit was that circumstance that drew us so very near--that knit us so very\nclose: for I was then his vision, as I am still his right hand.", "Literally, I was (what he often called me) the apple of his eye.", "He saw\nnature--he saw books through me; and never did I weary of gazing for his\nbehalf, and of putting into words the effect of field, tree, town, river,\ncloud, sunbeam--of the landscape before us; of the weather round us--and\nimpressing by sound on his ear what light could no longer stamp on his\neye.", "Never did I weary of reading to him; never did I weary of\nconducting him where he wished to go: of doing for him what he wished to\nbe done.", "And there was a pleasure in my services, most full, most\nexquisite, even though sad--because he claimed these services without\npainful shame or damping humiliation.", "He loved me so truly, that he knew\nno reluctance in profiting by my attendance: he felt I loved him so\nfondly, that to yield that attendance was to indulge my sweetest wishes.", "One morning at the end of the two years, as I was writing a letter to his\ndictation, he came and bent over me, and said--\"Jane, have you a\nglittering ornament round your neck?\"", "I had a gold watch-chain: I answered \"Yes.\"", "\"And have you a pale blue dress on?\"", "{And have you a pale blue dress on?", ": p435.jpg}\n\nI had.", "He informed me then, that for some time he had fancied the\nobscurity clouding one eye was becoming less dense; and that now he was\nsure of it.", "He and I went up to London.", "He had the advice of an eminent oculist; and\nhe eventually recovered the sight of that one eye.", "He cannot now see\nvery distinctly: he cannot read or write much; but he can find his way\nwithout being led by the hand: the sky is no longer a blank to him--the\nearth no longer a void.", "When his first-born was put into his arms, he\ncould see that the boy had inherited his own eyes, as they once\nwere--large, brilliant, and black.", "On that occasion, he again, with a\nfull heart, acknowledged that God had tempered judgment with mercy.", "My Edward and I, then, are happy: and the more so, because those we most\nlove are happy likewise.", "Diana and Mary Rivers are both married:\nalternately, once every year, they come to see us, and we go to see them.", "Diana's husband is a captain in the navy, a gallant officer and a good\nman.", "Mary's is a clergyman, a college friend of her brother's, and, from\nhis attainments and principles, worthy of the connection.", "Both Captain\nFitzjames and Mr. Wharton love their wives, and are loved by them.", "As to St. John Rivers, he left England: he went to India.", "He entered on\nthe path he had marked for himself; he pursues it still.", "A more\nresolute, indefatigable pioneer never wrought amidst rocks and dangers.", "Firm, faithful, and devoted, full of energy, and zeal, and truth, he\nlabours for his race; he clears their painful way to improvement; he hews\ndown like a giant the prejudices of creed and caste that encumber it.", "He\nmay be stern; he may be exacting; he may be ambitious yet; but his is the\nsternness of the warrior Greatheart, who guards his pilgrim convoy from\nthe onslaught of Apollyon.", "His is the exaction of the apostle, who\nspeaks but for Christ, when he says--\"Whosoever will come after me, let\nhim deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.\"", "His is the\nambition of the high master-spirit, which aims to fill a place in the\nfirst rank of those who are redeemed from the earth--who stand without\nfault before the throne of God, who share the last mighty victories of\nthe Lamb, who are called, and chosen, and faithful.", "St. John is unmarried: he never will marry now.", "Himself has hitherto\nsufficed to the toil, and the toil draws near its close: his glorious sun\nhastens to its setting.", "The last letter I received from him drew from my\neyes human tears, and yet filled my heart with divine joy: he anticipated\nhis sure reward, his incorruptible crown.", "I know that a stranger's hand\nwill write to me next, to say that the good and faithful servant has been\ncalled at length into the joy of his Lord.", "And why weep for this?", "No\nfear of death will darken St. John's last hour: his mind will be\nunclouded, his heart will be undaunted, his hope will be sure, his faith\nsteadfast.", "His own words are a pledge of this--\n\n\"My Master,\" he says, \"has forewarned me.", "Daily He announces more\ndistinctly,--'Surely I come quickly!'", "and hourly I more eagerly\nrespond,--'Amen; even so come, Lord Jesus!'\"" ]

[ "John, when I turned to him, was grinning from ear to ear.", "His letter was then calm, and, though very serious, kind.", "I found the rules of the establishment were too strict, its\ncourse of study too severe for a child of her age: I took her home with\nme.", "I have now been married ten years.", "No woman was ever nearer to her mate than I\nam: ever more absolutely bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.", "{And have you a pale blue dress on?", "He informed me then, that for some time he had fancied the\nobscurity clouding one eye was becoming less dense; and that now he was\nsure of it.", "He entered on\nthe path he had marked for himself; he pursues it still.", "His is the\nambition of the high master-spirit, which aims to fill a place in the\nfirst rank of those who are redeemed from the earth--who stand without\nfault before the throne of God, who share the last mighty victories of\nthe Lamb, who are called, and chosen, and faithful.", "The last letter I received from him drew from my\neyes human tears, and yet filled my heart with divine joy: he anticipated\nhis sure reward, his incorruptible crown." ]

[ "Mr. Rochester told me to give you and Mary this.\"", "Mr. Rochester continued blind the first two years of our union; perhaps\nit was that circumstance that drew us so very near--that knit us so very\nclose: for I was then his vision, as I am still his right hand.", "I wrote to Moor House and to Cambridge immediately, to say what I had\ndone: fully explaining also why I had thus acted.", "And there was a pleasure in my services, most full, most\nexquisite, even though sad--because he claimed these services without\npainful shame or damping humiliation.", "My Edward and I, then, are happy: and the more so, because those we most\nlove are happy likewise.", "I hold myself supremely\nblest--blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's\nlife as fully as he is mine.", "Without waiting to hear more, I\nleft the kitchen.", "He\nhas maintained a regular, though not frequent, correspondence ever since:\nhe hopes I am happy, and trusts I am not of those who live without God in\nthe world, and only mind earthly things.", "Diana announced that she would just give\nme time to get over the honeymoon, and then she would come and see me.", "and he\npolitely pulled his forelock." ]

[ "I have now been married ten years.", "I know what it is to live entirely\nfor and with what I love best on earth.", "I hold myself supremely\nblest--blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's\nlife as fully as he is mine.", "No woman was ever nearer to her mate than I\nam: ever more absolutely bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.", "I know\nno weariness of my Edward's society: he knows none of mine, any more than\nwe each do of the pulsation of the heart that beats in our separate\nbosoms; consequently, we are ever together.", "To be together is for us to\nbe at once as free as in solitude, as gay as in company.", "We talk, I\nbelieve, all day long: to talk to each other is but a more animated and\nan audible thinking.", "All my confidence is bestowed on him, all his\nconfidence is devoted to me; we are precisely suited in character--perfect\nconcord is the result.", "Mr. Rochester continued blind the first two years of our union; perhaps\nit was that circumstance that drew us so very near--that knit us so very\nclose: for I was then his vision, as I am still his right hand.", "Literally, I was (what he often called me) the apple of his eye.", "He saw\nnature--he saw books through me; and never did I weary of gazing for his\nbehalf, and of putting into words the effect of field, tree, town, river,\ncloud, sunbeam--of the landscape before us; of the weather round us--and\nimpressing by sound on his ear what light could no longer stamp on his\neye." ]

[ "\n\nReader, I married him.", "A quiet wedding we had: he and I, the parson and\nclerk, were alone present.", "When we got back from church, I went into the\nkitchen of the manor-house, where Mary was cooking the dinner and John\ncleaning the knives, and I said--\n\n\"Mary, I have been married to Mr. Rochester this morning.\"", "The\nhousekeeper and her husband were both of that decent phlegmatic order of\npeople, to whom one may at any time safely communicate a remarkable piece\nof news without incurring the danger of having one's ears pierced by some\nshrill ejaculation, and subsequently stunned by a torrent of wordy\nwonderment.", "Mary did look up, and she did stare at me: the ladle with\nwhich she was basting a pair of chickens roasting at the fire, did for\nsome three minutes hang suspended in air; and for the same space of time\nJohn's knives also had rest from the polishing process: but Mary, bending\nagain over the roast, said only--\n\n\"Have you, Miss?", "Well, for sure!\"", "A short time after she pursued--\"I seed you go out with the master, but I\ndidn't know you were gone to church to be wed;\" and she basted away.", "John, when I turned to him, was grinning from ear to ear.", "\"I telled Mary how it would be,\" he said: \"I knew what Mr. Edward\" (John\nwas an old servant, and had known his master when he was the cadet of the\nhouse, therefore, he often gave him his Christian name)--\"I knew what Mr.\nEdward would do; and I was certain he would not wait long neither: and\nhe's done right, for aught I know.", "I wish you joy, Miss!\"", "His is the\nambition of the high master-spirit, which aims to fill a place in the\nfirst rank of those who are redeemed from the earth--who stand without\nfault before the throne of God, who share the last mighty victories of\nthe Lamb, who are called, and chosen, and faithful.", "St. John is unmarried: he never will marry now.", "Himself has hitherto\nsufficed to the toil, and the toil draws near its close: his glorious sun\nhastens to its setting.", "The last letter I received from him drew from my\neyes human tears, and yet filled my heart with divine joy: he anticipated\nhis sure reward, his incorruptible crown.", "I know that a stranger's hand\nwill write to me next, to say that the good and faithful servant has been\ncalled at length into the joy of his Lord.", "And why weep for this?", "No\nfear of death will darken St. John's last hour: his mind will be\nunclouded, his heart will be undaunted, his hope will be sure, his faith\nsteadfast.", "His own words are a pledge of this--\n\n\"My Master,\" he says, \"has forewarned me.", "Daily He announces more\ndistinctly,--'Surely I come quickly!'", "and hourly I more eagerly\nrespond,--'Amen; even so come, Lord Jesus!'\"" ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "It\ncontained a bookcase: I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care\nthat it should be one stored with pictures.", "I mounted into the window-\nseat: gathering up my feet, I sat cross-legged, like a Turk; and, having\ndrawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in double\nretirement.", "Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the right hand; to the left\nwere the clear panes of glass, protecting, but not separating me from the\ndrear November day.", "At intervals, while turning over the leaves of my\nbook, I studied the aspect of that winter afternoon.", "Afar, it offered a\npale blank of mist and cloud; near a scene of wet lawn and storm-beat\nshrub, with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and\nlamentable blast.", "I returned to my book--Bewick's History of British Birds: the letterpress\nthereof I cared little for, generally speaking; and yet there were\ncertain introductory pages that, child as I was, I could not pass quite\nas a blank.", "They were those which treat of the haunts of sea-fowl; of\n\"the solitary rocks and promontories\" by them only inhabited; of the\ncoast of Norway, studded with isles from its southern extremity, the\nLindeness, or Naze, to the North Cape--\n\n \"Where the Northern Ocean, in vast whirls,\n Boils round the naked, melancholy isles\n Of farthest Thule; and the Atlantic surge\n Pours in among the stormy Hebrides.\"", "Nor could I pass unnoticed the suggestion of the bleak shores of Lapland,\nSiberia, Spitzbergen, Nova Zembla, Iceland, Greenland, with \"the vast\nsweep of the Arctic Zone, and those forlorn regions of dreary space,--that\nreservoir of frost and snow, where firm fields of ice, the accumulation\nof centuries of winters, glazed in Alpine heights above heights, surround\nthe pole, and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold.\"", "Of\nthese death-white realms I formed an idea of my own: shadowy, like all\nthe half-comprehended notions that float dim through children's brains,\nbut strangely impressive.", "The words in these introductory pages\nconnected themselves with the succeeding vignettes, and gave significance\nto the rock standing up alone in a sea of billow and spray; to the broken\nboat stranded on a desolate coast; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing\nthrough bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking.", "I cannot tell what sentiment haunted the quite solitary churchyard, with\nits inscribed headstone; its gate, its two trees, its low horizon,\ngirdled by a broken wall, and its newly-risen crescent, attesting the\nhour of eventide.", "The two ships becalmed on a torpid sea, I believed to be marine phantoms.", "The fiend pinning down the thief's pack behind him, I passed over\nquickly: it was an object of terror.", "So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock, surveying a distant\ncrowd surrounding a gallows.", "Each picture told a story; mysterious often to my undeveloped\nunderstanding and imperfect feelings, yet ever profoundly interesting: as\ninteresting as the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings,\nwhen she chanced to be in good humour; and when, having brought her\nironing-table to the nursery hearth, she allowed us to sit about it, and\nwhile she got up Mrs. Reed's lace frills, and crimped her nightcap\nborders, fed our eager attention with passages of love and adventure\ntaken from old fairy tales and other ballads; or (as at a later period I\ndiscovered) from the pages of Pamela, and Henry, Earl of Moreland.", "With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy: happy at least in my way.", "I\nfeared nothing but interruption, and that came too soon.", "The breakfast-\nroom door opened.", "\"Boh!", "Madam Mope!\"", "cried the voice of John Reed; then he paused: he\nfound the room apparently empty.", "\"Where the dickens is she!\"", "he continued.", "\"Lizzy!", "Georgy!", "(calling to\nhis sisters) Joan is not here: tell mama she is run out into the rain--bad\nanimal!\"", "\"It is well I drew the curtain,\" thought I; and I wished fervently he\nmight not discover my hiding-place: nor would John Reed have found it out\nhimself; he was not quick either of vision or conception; but Eliza just\nput her head in at the door, and said at once--\n\n\"She is in the window-seat, to be sure, Jack.\"", "And I came out immediately, for I trembled at the idea of being dragged\nforth by the said Jack.", "\"What do you want?\"", "I asked, with awkward diffidence.", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back.", "Habitually obedient to John, I came up to his chair: he spent some three\nminutes in thrusting out his tongue at me as far as he could without\ndamaging the roots: I knew he would soon strike, and while dreading the\nblow, I mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of him who would\npresently deal it.", "I wonder if he read that notion in my face; for, all\nat once, without speaking, he struck suddenly and strongly.", "I tottered,\nand on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his\nchair.", "\"That is for your impudence in answering mama awhile since,\" said he,\n\"and for your sneaking way of getting behind curtains, and for the look\nyou had in your eyes two minutes since, you rat!\"", "Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it;\nmy care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the\ninsult.", "\"What were you doing behind the curtain?\"", "he asked.", "\"I was reading.\"", "\"Show the book.\"", "I returned to the window and fetched it thence.", "\"You have no business to take our books; you are a dependent, mama says;\nyou have no money; your father left you none; you ought to beg, and not\nto live here with gentlemen's children like us, and eat the same meals we\ndo, and wear clothes at our mama's expense.", "Now, I'll teach you to\nrummage my bookshelves: for they _are_ mine; all the house belongs to me,\nor will do in a few years.", "Go and stand by the door, out of the way of\nthe mirror and the windows.\"", "I did so, not at first aware what was his intention; but when I saw him\nlift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it, I instinctively\nstarted aside with a cry of alarm: not soon enough, however; the volume\nwas flung, it hit me, and I fell, striking my head against the door and\ncutting it.", "The cut bled, the pain was sharp: my terror had passed its\nclimax; other feelings succeeded.", "\"Wicked and cruel boy!\"", "I said.", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"", "I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome, and had formed my opinion of\nNero, Caligula, etc.", "Also I had drawn parallels in silence, which I never\nthought thus to have declared aloud.", "\"What!", "what!\"", "he cried.", "\"Did she say that to me?", "Did you hear her,\nEliza and Georgiana?", "Won't I tell mama?", "but first--\"\n\nHe ran headlong at me: I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder: he had\nclosed with a desperate thing.", "I really saw in him a tyrant, a murderer.", "I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my neck, and was\nsensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations for the time\npredominated over fear, and I received him in frantic sort.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "I asked.", "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "I tottered,\nand on regaining my equilibrium retired back a step or two from his\nchair.", "Go and stand by the door, out of the way of\nthe mirror and the windows.\"", "I said.", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "dear!", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "With Bewick on my knee, I was then happy: happy at least in my way.", "Georgy!", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Accustomed to John Reed's abuse, I never had an idea of replying to it;\nmy care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the\ninsult.", "It\ncontained a bookcase: I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care\nthat it should be one stored with pictures.", "I really saw in him a tyrant, a murderer.", "I mounted into the window-\nseat: gathering up my feet, I sat cross-legged, like a Turk; and, having\ndrawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in double\nretirement.", "Won't I tell mama?", "\"You are like a murderer--you are like a\nslave-driver--you are like the Roman emperors!\"" ]

[ "\"Say, 'What do you want, Master Reed?'\"", "was the answer.", "\"I want you to\ncome here;\" and seating himself in an arm-chair, he intimated by a\ngesture that I was to approach and stand before him.", "John Reed was a schoolboy of fourteen years old; four years older than I,\nfor I was but ten: large and stout for his age, with a dingy and\nunwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and\nlarge extremities.", "He gorged himself habitually at table, which made him\nbilious, and gave him a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks.", "He ought\nnow to have been at school; but his mama had taken him home for a month\nor two, \"on account of his delicate health.\"", "Mr.", "Miles, the master,\naffirmed that he would do very well if he had fewer cakes and sweetmeats\nsent him from home; but the mother's heart turned from an opinion so\nharsh, and inclined rather to the more refined idea that John's\nsallowness was owing to over-application and, perhaps, to pining after\nhome.", "John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy\nto me.", "He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week,\nnor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared\nhim, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near.", "There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired,\nbecause I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his\ninflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by\ntaking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the\nsubject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did\nboth now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind\nher back." ]

[ "\n\nThere was no possibility of taking a walk that day.", "We had been\nwandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but\nsince dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold\nwinter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so\npenetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.", "I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly\nafternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with\nnipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie,\nthe nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to\nEliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.", "The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama\nin the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with\nher darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying)\nlooked perfectly happy.", "Me, she had dispensed from joining the group;\nsaying, \"She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a\ndistance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her\nown observation, that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a\nmore sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly\nmanner--something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were--she really\nmust exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy,\nlittle children.\"", "\"What does Bessie say I have done?\"", "I asked.", "\"Jane, I don't like cavillers or questioners; besides, there is something\ntruly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner.", "Be\nseated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly, remain silent.\"", "A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room, I slipped in there.", "I don't very\nwell know what I did with my hands, but he called me \"Rat!", "Rat!\"", "and\nbellowed out aloud.", "Aid was near him: Eliza and Georgiana had run for\nMrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came upon the scene, followed\nby Bessie and her maid Abbot.", "We were parted: I heard the words--\n\n\"Dear!", "dear!", "What a fury to fly at Master John!\"", "\"Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!\"", "Then Mrs. Reed subjoined--\n\n\"Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.\"", "Four hands were\nimmediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "Am I a servant?\"", "\"No; you are less than a servant, for you do nothing for your keep.", "There, sit down, and think over your wickedness.\"", "They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs. Reed,\nand had thrust me upon a stool: my impulse was to rise from it like a\nspring; their two pair of hands arrested me instantly.", "\"If you don't sit still, you must be tied down,\" said Bessie.", "\"Miss\nAbbot, lend me your garters; she would break mine directly.\"", "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "This\npreparation for bonds, and the additional ignominy it inferred, took a\nlittle of the excitement out of me.", "\"Don't take them off,\" I cried; \"I will not stir.\"", "In guarantee whereof, I attached myself to my seat by my hands.", "\"Mind you don't,\" said Bessie; and when she had ascertained that I was\nreally subsiding, she loosened her hold of me; then she and Miss Abbot\nstood with folded arms, looking darkly and doubtfully on my face, as\nincredulous of my sanity.", "\"She never did so before,\" at last said Bessie, turning to the Abigail.", "\"But it was always in her,\" was the reply.", "\"I've told Missis often my\nopinion about the child, and Missis agreed with me.", "She's an underhand\nlittle thing: I never saw a girl of her age with so much cover.\"", "Bessie answered not; but ere long, addressing me, she said--\"You ought to\nbe aware, Miss, that you are under obligations to Mrs. Reed: she keeps\nyou: if she were to turn you off, you would have to go to the poorhouse.\"", "I had nothing to say to these words: they were not new to me: my very\nfirst recollections of existence included hints of the same kind.", "This\nreproach of my dependence had become a vague sing-song in my ear: very\npainful and crushing, but only half intelligible.", "Miss Abbot joined in--\n\n\"And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses Reed\nand Master Reed, because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up with\nthem.", "They will have a great deal of money, and you will have none: it\nis your place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to\nthem.\"", "\"What we tell you is for your good,\" added Bessie, in no harsh voice,\n\"you should try to be useful and pleasant, then, perhaps, you would have\na home here; but if you become passionate and rude, Missis will send you\naway, I am sure.\"", "\"Besides,\" said Miss Abbot, \"God will punish her: He might strike her\ndead in the midst of her tantrums, and then where would she go?", "Come,\nBessie, we will leave her: I wouldn't have her heart for anything.", "Say\nyour prayers, Miss Eyre, when you are by yourself; for if you don't\nrepent, something bad might be permitted to come down the chimney and\nfetch you away.\"", "They went, shutting the door, and locking it behind them.", "The red-room was a square chamber, very seldom slept in, I might say\nnever, indeed, unless when a chance influx of visitors at Gateshead Hall\nrendered it necessary to turn to account all the accommodation it\ncontained: yet it was one of the largest and stateliest chambers in the\nmansion.", "A bed supported on massive pillars of mahogany, hung with\ncurtains of deep red damask, stood out like a tabernacle in the centre;\nthe two large windows, with their blinds always drawn down, were half\nshrouded in festoons and falls of similar drapery; the carpet was red;\nthe table at the foot of the bed was covered with a crimson cloth; the\nwalls were a soft fawn colour with a blush of pink in it; the wardrobe,\nthe toilet-table, the chairs were of darkly polished old mahogany.", "Out\nof these deep surrounding shades rose high, and glared white, the piled-\nup mattresses and pillows of the bed, spread with a snowy Marseilles\ncounterpane.", "Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy-chair\nnear the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool before it; and\nlooking, as I thought, like a pale throne.", "This room was chill, because it seldom had a fire; it was silent, because\nremote from the nursery and kitchen; solemn, because it was known to be\nso seldom entered.", "The house-maid alone came here on Saturdays, to wipe\nfrom the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet dust: and Mrs. Reed\nherself, at far intervals, visited it to review the contents of a certain\nsecret drawer in the wardrobe, where were stored divers parchments, her\njewel-casket, and a miniature of her deceased husband; and in those last\nwords lies the secret of the red-room--the spell which kept it so lonely\nin spite of its grandeur.", "Mr. Reed had been dead nine years: it was in this chamber he breathed his\nlast; here he lay in state; hence his coffin was borne by the\nundertaker's men; and, since that day, a sense of dreary consecration had\nguarded it from frequent intrusion.", "My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me riveted,\nwas a low ottoman near the marble chimney-piece; the bed rose before me;\nto my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe, with subdued, broken\nreflections varying the gloss of its panels; to my left were the muffled\nwindows; a great looking-glass between them repeated the vacant majesty\nof the bed and room.", "I was not quite sure whether they had locked the\ndoor; and when I dared move, I got up and went to see.", "Alas!", "yes: no\njail was ever more secure.", "Returning, I had to cross before the looking-\nglass; my fascinated glance involuntarily explored the depth it revealed.", "All looked colder and darker in that visionary hollow than in reality:\nand the strange little figure there gazing at me, with a white face and\narms specking the gloom, and glittering eyes of fear moving where all\nelse was still, had the effect of a real spirit: I thought it like one of\nthe tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening stories\nrepresented as coming out of lone, ferny dells in moors, and appearing\nbefore the eyes of belated travellers.", "I returned to my stool.", "Superstition was with me at that moment; but it was not yet her hour for\ncomplete victory: my blood was still warm; the mood of the revolted slave\nwas still bracing me with its bitter vigour; I had to stem a rapid rush\nof retrospective thought before I quailed to the dismal present.", "All John Reed's violent tyrannies, all his sisters' proud indifference,\nall his mother's aversion, all the servants' partiality, turned up in my\ndisturbed mind like a dark deposit in a turbid well.", "Why was I always\nsuffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned?", "Why\ncould I never please?", "Why was it useless to try to win any one's favour?", "Eliza, who was headstrong and selfish, was respected.", "Georgiana, who had\na spoiled temper, a very acrid spite, a captious and insolent carriage,\nwas universally indulged.", "Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls,\nseemed to give delight to all who looked at her, and to purchase\nindemnity for every fault.", "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them.", "They were not\nbound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one\namongst them; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to them in temperament, in\ncapacity, in propensities; a useless thing, incapable of serving their\ninterest, or adding to their pleasure; a noxious thing, cherishing the\ngerms of indignation at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment.", "I\nknow that had I been a sanguine, brilliant, careless, exacting, handsome,\nromping child--though equally dependent and friendless--Mrs. Reed would\nhave endured my presence more complacently; her children would have\nentertained for me more of the cordiality of fellow-feeling; the servants\nwould have been less prone to make me the scapegoat of the nursery.", "Daylight began to forsake the red-room; it was past four o'clock, and the\nbeclouded afternoon was tending to drear twilight.", "I heard the rain\nstill beating continuously on the staircase window, and the wind howling\nin the grove behind the hall; I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then\nmy courage sank.", "My habitual mood of humiliation, self-doubt, forlorn\ndepression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying ire.", "All said I was\nwicked, and perhaps I might be so; what thought had I been but just\nconceiving of starving myself to death?", "That certainly was a crime: and\nwas I fit to die?", "Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church\nan inviting bourne?", "In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie\nburied; and led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with\ngathering dread.", "I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own\nuncle--my mother's brother--that he had taken me when a parentless infant\nto his house; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of\nMrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children.", "Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise; and so she had,\nI dare say, as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she\nreally like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her,\nafter her husband's death, by any tie?", "It must have been most irksome to\nfind herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a\nparent to a strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial\nalien permanently intruded on her own family group.", "A singular notion dawned upon me.", "I doubted not--never doubted--that if\nMr. Reed had been alive he would have treated me kindly; and now, as I\nsat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls--occasionally also\nturning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror--I began to\nrecall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the\nviolation of their last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the\nperjured and avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr. Reed's spirit,\nharassed by the wrongs of his sister's child, might quit its\nabode--whether in the church vault or in the unknown world of the\ndeparted--and rise before me in this chamber.", "I wiped my tears and\nhushed my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a\npreternatural voice to comfort me, or elicit from the gloom some haloed\nface, bending over me with strange pity.", "This idea, consolatory in\ntheory, I felt would be terrible if realised: with all my might I\nendeavoured to stifle it--I endeavoured to be firm.", "Shaking my hair from\nmy eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly round the dark room;\nat this moment a light gleamed on the wall.", "Was it, I asked myself, a\nray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind?", "No; moonlight\nwas still, and this stirred; while I gazed, it glided up to the ceiling\nand quivered over my head.", "I can now conjecture readily that this streak\nof light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some\none across the lawn: but then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken\nas my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift darting beam was a\nherald of some coming vision from another world.", "My heart beat thick, my\nhead grew hot; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed the rushing of\nwings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed, suffocated: endurance\nbroke down; I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort.", "Steps came running along the outer passage; the key turned, Bessie and\nAbbot entered.", "\"Miss Eyre, are you ill?\"", "said Bessie.", "\"What a dreadful noise!", "it went quite through me!\"", "exclaimed Abbot.", "\"Take me out!", "Let me go into the nursery!\"", "was my cry.", "\"What for?", "Are you hurt?", "Have you seen something?\"", "again demanded\nBessie.", "\"Oh!", "I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come.\"", "I had now got\nhold of Bessie's hand, and she did not snatch it from me.", "\"She has screamed out on purpose,\" declared Abbot, in some disgust.", "\"And\nwhat a scream!", "If she had been in great pain one would have excused it,\nbut she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.\"", "\"What is all this?\"", "demanded another voice peremptorily; and Mrs. Reed\ncame along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling stormily.", "\"Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave orders that Jane Eyre should be left\nin the red-room till I came to her myself.\"", "\"Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma'am,\" pleaded Bessie.", "\"Let her go,\" was the only answer.", "\"Loose Bessie's hand, child: you\ncannot succeed in getting out by these means, be assured.", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene." ]

[ "In guarantee whereof, I attached myself to my seat by my hands.", "\"I've told Missis often my\nopinion about the child, and Missis agreed with me.", "\"What we tell you is for your good,\" added Bessie, in no harsh voice,\n\"you should try to be useful and pleasant, then, perhaps, you would have\na home here; but if you become passionate and rude, Missis will send you\naway, I am sure.\"", "Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy-chair\nnear the head of the bed, also white, with a footstool before it; and\nlooking, as I thought, like a pale throne.", "I returned to my stool.", "Why\ncould I never please?", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "They were not\nbound to regard with affection a thing that could not sympathise with one\namongst them; a heterogeneous thing, opposed to them in temperament, in\ncapacity, in propensities; a useless thing, incapable of serving their\ninterest, or adding to their pleasure; a noxious thing, cherishing the\ngerms of indignation at their treatment, of contempt of their judgment.", "Let me go into the nursery!\"", "\"What is all this?\"" ]

[ "If she had been in great pain one would have excused it,\nbut she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.\"", "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them.", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "\"O aunt!", "My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me riveted,\nwas a low ottoman near the marble chimney-piece; the bed rose before me;\nto my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe, with subdued, broken\nreflections varying the gloss of its panels; to my left were the muffled\nwindows; a great looking-glass between them repeated the vacant majesty\nof the bed and room.", "I heard the rain\nstill beating continuously on the staircase window, and the wind howling\nin the grove behind the hall; I grew by degrees cold as a stone, and then\nmy courage sank.", "Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary ligature.", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "\"Oh!" ]

[ "John no one thwarted, much less punished;\nthough he twisted the necks of the pigeons, killed the little pea-chicks,\nset the dogs at the sheep, stripped the hothouse vines of their fruit,\nand broke the buds off the choicest plants in the conservatory: he called\nhis mother \"old girl,\" too; sometimes reviled her for her dark skin,\nsimilar to his own; bluntly disregarded her wishes; not unfrequently tore\nand spoiled her silk attire; and he was still \"her own darling.\"", "I dared\ncommit no fault: I strove to fulfil every duty; and I was termed naughty\nand tiresome, sullen and sneaking, from morning to noon, and from noon to\nnight.", "My head still ached and bled with the blow and fall I had received: no\none had reproved John for wantonly striking me; and because I had turned\nagainst him to avert farther irrational violence, I was loaded with\ngeneral opprobrium.", "\"Unjust!--unjust!\"", "said my reason, forced by the agonising stimulus into\nprecocious though transitory power: and Resolve, equally wrought up,\ninstigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable\noppression--as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never\neating or drinking more, and letting myself die.", "What a consternation of soul was mine that dreary afternoon!", "How all my\nbrain was in tumult, and all my heart in insurrection!", "Yet in what\ndarkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!", "I could\nnot answer the ceaseless inward question--_why_ I thus suffered; now, at\nthe distance of--I will not say how many years, I see it clearly.", "I was a discord in Gateshead Hall: I was like nobody there; I had nothing\nin harmony with Mrs. Reed or her children, or her chosen vassalage.", "If\nthey did not love me, in fact, as little did I love them." ]

[ "\n\nI resisted all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance which\ngreatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot were disposed\nto entertain of me.", "The fact is, I was a trifle beside myself; or rather\n_out_ of myself, as the French would say: I was conscious that a moment's\nmutiny had already rendered me liable to strange penalties, and, like any\nother rebel slave, I felt resolved, in my desperation, to go all lengths.", "\"Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.\"", "\"For shame!", "for shame!\"", "cried the lady's-maid.", "\"What shocking conduct,\nMiss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress's son!", "Your\nyoung master.\"", "\"Master!", "How is he my master?", "I abhor\nartifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks\nwill not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on\ncondition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you\nthen.\"", "\"O aunt!", "have pity!", "Forgive me!", "I cannot endure it--let me be punished\nsome other way!", "I shall be killed if--\"\n\n\"Silence!", "This violence is all most repulsive:\" and so, no doubt, she\nfelt it.", "I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on\nme as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous\nduplicity.", "Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic\nanguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without\nfarther parley.", "I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone,\nI suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene." ]

[ "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand: he took it,\nsmiling and saying, \"We shall do very well by-and-by.\"", "Then he laid me\ndown, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was\nnot disturbed during the night.", "Having given some further directions,\nand intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed; to my\ngrief: I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near\nmy pillow; and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and\nmy heart again sank: inexpressible sadness weighed it down.", "\"Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?\"", "asked Bessie, rather softly.", "Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentence might be\nrough.", "\"I will try.\"", "\"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?\"", "\"No, thank you, Bessie.\"", "\"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you\nmay call me if you want anything in the night.\"", "Wonderful civility this!", "It emboldened me to ask a question.", "\"Bessie, what is the matter with me?", "Am I ill?\"", "\"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll be better\nsoon, no doubt.\"", "Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near.", "I heard her\nsay--\n\n\"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for my life be\nalone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it's such a strange\nthing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything.", "Missis was\nrather too hard.\"", "Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering\ntogether for half-an-hour before they fell asleep.", "I caught scraps of\ntheir conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer\nthe main subject discussed.", "\"Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished\"--\"A great\nblack dog behind him\"--\"Three loud raps on the chamber door\"--\"A light in\nthe churchyard just over his grave,\" etc., etc.", "At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out.", "For me, the\nwatches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness; strained by\ndread: such dread as children only can feel.", "No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red-\nroom; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to\nthis day.", "Yes, Mrs. Reed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental\nsuffering, but I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did:\nwhile rending my heart-strings, you thought you were only uprooting my\nbad propensities.", "Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped in a shawl by\nthe nursery hearth.", "I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse\nailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which\nkept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop\nfrom my cheek than another followed.", "Yet, I thought, I ought to have\nbeen happy, for none of the Reeds were there, they were all gone out in\nthe carriage with their mama.", "Abbot, too, was sewing in another room,\nand Bessie, as she moved hither and thither, putting away toys and\narranging drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted\nkindness.", "This state of things should have been to me a paradise of\npeace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless\nfagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no\ncalm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.", "Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought up with her a tart\non a certain brightly painted china plate, whose bird of paradise,\nnestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in\nme a most enthusiastic sense of admiration; and which plate I had often\npetitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more\nclosely, but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a\nprivilege.", "This precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I was\ncordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it.", "Vain\nfavour!", "coming, like most other favours long deferred and often wished\nfor, too late!", "I could not eat the tart; and the plumage of the bird,\nthe tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and\ntart away.", "Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word _book_ acted as\na transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch Gulliver's Travels from\nthe library.", "This book I had again and again perused with delight.", "I\nconsidered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a vein of\ninterest deeper than what I found in fairy tales: for as to the elves,\nhaving sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells, under\nmushrooms and beneath the ground-ivy mantling old wall-nooks, I had at\nlength made up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of\nEngland to some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker,\nand the population more scant; whereas, Lilliput and Brobdignag being, in\nmy creed, solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might\none day, by taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields,\nhouses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds\nof the one realm; and the corn-fields forest-high, the mighty mastiffs,\nthe monster cats, the tower-like men and women, of the other.", "Yet, when\nthis cherished volume was now placed in my hand--when I turned over its\nleaves, and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm I had, till now,\nnever failed to find--all was eerie and dreary; the giants were gaunt\ngoblins, the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps, Gulliver a most\ndesolate wanderer in most dread and dangerous regions.", "I closed the\nbook, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the\nuntasted tart.", "Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the room, and having washed\nher hands, she opened a certain little drawer, full of splendid shreds of\nsilk and satin, and began making a new bonnet for Georgiana's doll.", "Meantime she sang: her song was--\n\n \"In the days when we went gipsying,\n A long time ago.\"", "I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for\nBessie had a sweet voice,--at least, I thought so.", "But now, though her\nvoice was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescribable sadness.", "Sometimes, preoccupied with her work, she sang the refrain very low, very\nlingeringly; \"A long time ago\" came out like the saddest cadence of a\nfuneral hymn.", "She passed into another ballad, this time a really doleful\none.", "\"My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary;\n Long is the way, and the mountains are wild;\n Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary\n Over the path of the poor orphan child.", "Why did they send me so far and so lonely,\n Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled?", "Men are hard-hearted, and kind angels only\n Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.", "Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing,\n Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild,\n God, in His mercy, protection is showing,\n Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.", "Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing,\n Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled,\n Still will my Father, with promise and blessing,\n Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.", "There is a thought that for strength should avail me,\n Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled;\n Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me;\n God is a friend to the poor orphan child.\"", "\"Come, Miss Jane, don't cry,\" said Bessie as she finished.", "She might as\nwell have said to the fire, \"don't burn!\"", "but how could she divine the\nmorbid suffering to which I was a prey?", "In the course of the morning Mr.\nLloyd came again.", "\"What, already up!\"", "said he, as he entered the nursery.", "\"Well, nurse,\nhow is she?\"", "Bessie answered that I was doing very well.", "\"Then she ought to look more cheerful.", "Come here, Miss Jane: your name\nis Jane, is it not?\"", "\"Yes, sir, Jane Eyre.\"", "\"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre; can you tell me what about?", "Have you any pain?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"Oh!", "I daresay she is crying because she could not go out with Missis in\nthe carriage,\" interposed Bessie.", "\"Surely not!", "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!", "Can't she manage to walk at her\nage?", "She must be eight or nine years old.\"", "\"I was knocked down,\" was the blunt explanation, jerked out of me by\nanother pang of mortified pride; \"but that did not make me ill,\" I added;\nwhile Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.", "As he was returning the box to his waistcoat pocket, a loud bell rang for\nthe servants' dinner; he knew what it was.", "\"That's for you, nurse,\" said\nhe; \"you can go down; I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till you come back.\"", "Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was obliged to go, because\npunctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at Gateshead Hall.", "\"The fall did not make you ill; what did, then?\"", "pursued Mr. Lloyd when\nBessie was gone.", "\"I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till after dark.\"", "I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time.", "\"Ghost!", "What, you are a baby after all!", "You are afraid of ghosts?\"", "\"Of Mr. Reed's ghost I am: he died in that room, and was laid out there.", "Neither Bessie nor any one else will go into it at night, if they can\nhelp it; and it was cruel to shut me up alone without a candle,--so cruel\nthat I think I shall never forget it.\"", "\"Nonsense!", "And is it that makes you so miserable?", "Are you afraid now in\ndaylight?\"", "\"No: but night will come again before long: and besides,--I am\nunhappy,--very unhappy, for other things.\"", "\"What other things?", "Can you tell me some of them?\"", "How much I wished to reply fully to this question!", "How difficult it was\nto frame any answer!", "Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their\nfeelings; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought, they know\nnot how to express the result of the process in words.", "Fearful, however,\nof losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by\nimparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre,\nthough, as far as it went, true response.", "\"For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters.\"", "\"You have a kind aunt and cousins.\"", "Again I paused; then bunglingly enounced--\n\n\"But John Reed knocked me down, and my aunt shut me up in the red-room.\"", "Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.", "\"Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful house?\"", "asked he.", "\"Are\nyou not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at?\"", "\"It is not my house, sir; and Abbot says I have less right to be here\nthan a servant.\"", "\"Pooh!", "you can't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place?\"", "\"If I had anywhere else to go, I should be glad to leave it; but I can\nnever get away from Gateshead till I am a woman.\"", "\"Perhaps you may--who knows?", "Have you any relations besides Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"I think not, sir.\"", "\"None belonging to your father?\"", "\"I don't know.", "I asked Aunt Reed once, and she said possibly I might\nhave some poor, low relations called Eyre, but she knew nothing about\nthem.\"", "\"If you had such, would you like to go to them?\"", "I reflected.", "Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to\nchildren: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable\npoverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes,\nscanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty\nfor me was synonymous with degradation.", "\"No; I should not like to belong to poor people,\" was my reply.", "\"Not even if they were kind to you?\"", "I shook my head: I could not see how poor people had the means of being\nkind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be\nuneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing\ntheir children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the\nvillage of Gateshead: no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at\nthe price of caste.", "\"But are your relatives so very poor?", "Are they working people?\"", "\"I cannot tell; Aunt Reed says if I have any, they must be a beggarly\nset: I should not like to go a begging.\"", "\"Would you like to go to school?\"", "Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes\nspoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore\nbackboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise: John\nReed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were\nno rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school-discipline (gathered\nfrom the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to\nGateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain\naccomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought,\nequally attractive.", "She boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and\nflowers by them executed; of songs they could sing and pieces they could\nplay, of purses they could net, of French books they could translate;\ntill my spirit was moved to emulation as I listened.", "Besides, school\nwould be a complete change: it implied a long journey, an entire\nseparation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new life.", "\"I should indeed like to go to school,\" was the audible conclusion of my\nmusings.", "\"Well, well!", "who knows what may happen?\"", "said Mr. Lloyd, as he got up.", "\"The child ought to have change of air and scene,\" he added, speaking to\nhimself; \"nerves not in a good state.\"", "Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up\nthe gravel-walk.", "\"Is that your mistress, nurse?\"", "asked Mr. Lloyd.", "\"I should like to speak\nto her before I go.\"", "Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-room, and led the way out.", "In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume,\nfrom after-occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my\nbeing sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough\nadopted; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie when\nboth sat sewing in the nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as\nthey thought, asleep, \"Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid\nof such a tiresome, ill-conditioned child, who always looked as if she\nwere watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand.\"", "Abbot, I think,\ngave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "asked Bessie, rather softly.", "I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse\nailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which\nkept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop\nfrom my cheek than another followed.", "Why did they send me so far and so lonely,\n Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled?", "\"Oh!", "\"Nonsense!", "And is it that makes you so miserable?", "Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuff-box.", "Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to\nchildren: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable\npoverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes,\nscanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty\nfor me was synonymous with degradation.", "\"Would you like to go to school?\"", "Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes\nspoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore\nbackboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise: John\nReed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were\nno rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school-discipline (gathered\nfrom the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to\nGateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain\naccomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought,\nequally attractive." ]

[ "Fearful, however,\nof losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by\nimparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre,\nthough, as far as it went, true response.", "I closed the\nbook, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the\nuntasted tart.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "\"Nonsense!", "Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word _book_ acted as\na transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch Gulliver's Travels from\nthe library.", "I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for\nBessie had a sweet voice,--at least, I thought so.", "I could not eat the tart; and the plumage of the bird,\nthe tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and\ntart away.", "I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time.", "Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering\ntogether for half-an-hour before they fell asleep.", "\"Well, who am I?\"" ]

[ "why, she is too old for such pettishness.\"", "I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I\nanswered promptly, \"I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate\ngoing out in the carriage.", "I cry because I am miserable.\"", "\"Oh fie, Miss!\"", "said Bessie.", "The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled.", "I was standing before\nhim; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey;\nnot very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a\nhard-featured yet good-natured looking face.", "Having considered me at\nleisure, he said--\n\n\"What made you ill yesterday?\"", "\"She had a fall,\" said Bessie, again putting in her word.", "\"Fall!", "why, that is like a baby again!" ]

[ "\n\nThe next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a\nfrightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed\nwith thick black bars.", "I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow\nsound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation,\nuncertainty, and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my\nfaculties.", "Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me;\nlifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more\ntenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before.", "I rested my head\nagainst a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.", "In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite\nwell that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery\nfire.", "It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-\nfoot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my\npillow, leaning over me.", "I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and\nsecurity, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an\nindividual not belonging to Gateshead, and not related to Mrs. Reed.", "Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me\nthan that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the\nface of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary,\nsometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for\nherself and the children she employed a physician.", "\"Well, who am I?\"", "he asked.", "On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's\ncommunications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that\nmy mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who\nconsidered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so\nirritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that\nafter my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the\ntyphus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town\nwhere his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent:\nthat my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month\nof each other.", "Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, \"Poor Miss Jane\nis to be pitied, too, Abbot.\"", "\"Yes,\" responded Abbot; \"if she were a nice, pretty child, one might\ncompassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a\nlittle toad as that.\"", "\"Not a great deal, to be sure,\" agreed Bessie: \"at any rate, a beauty\nlike Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition.\"", "\"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!\"", "cried the fervent Abbot.", "\"Little\ndarling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour\nas she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh\nrabbit for supper.\"", "\"So could I--with a roast onion.", "Come, we'll go down.\"", "They went." ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "was my scarcely\nvoluntary demand.", "I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my\ntongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance:\nsomething spoke out of me over which I had no control.", "\"What?\"", "said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey\neye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm,\nand gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or\nfiend.", "I was now in for it.", "\"My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can\npapa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you\nwish me dead.\"", "Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed\nboth my ears, and then left me without a word.", "Bessie supplied the\nhiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a\ndoubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a\nroof.", "I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging\nin my breast.", "November, December, and half of January passed away.", "Christmas and the\nNew Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer;\npresents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given.", "From\nevery enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety\nconsisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and\nseeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin\nfrocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted; and\nafterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played\nbelow, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the\njingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken\nhum of conversation as the drawing-room door opened and closed.", "When\ntired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the\nsolitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not\nmiserable.", "To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company,\nfor in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind\nand companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings\nquietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of\nMrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen.", "But Bessie, as soon\nas she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the\nlively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing\nthe candle along with her.", "I then sat with my doll on my knee till the\nfire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse\nthan myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull\nred, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might,\nand sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib.", "To this crib I\nalways took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth\nof worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in\nloving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature\nscarecrow.", "It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I\ndoated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of\nsensation.", "I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and\nwhen it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it\nto be happy likewise.", "Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and\nlistened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she\nwould come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or\nperhaps to bring me something by way of supper--a bun or a\ncheese-cake--then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had\nfinished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me,\nand said, \"Good night, Miss Jane.\"", "When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me\nthe best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most\nintensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never\npush me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often\nwont to do.", "Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural\ncapacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of\nnarrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her\nnursery tales.", "She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and\nperson are correct.", "I remember her as a slim young woman, with black\nhair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she\nhad a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or\njustice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at\nGateshead Hall.", "It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning:\nBessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned\nto their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go\nand feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less\nso of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she\nthus obtained.", "She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for\nsaving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in\ndriving hard bargains with the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and\nslips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of\nhis young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and\nEliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a\nhandsome profit thereby.", "As to her money, she first secreted it in odd\ncorners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards\nhaving been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing\nher valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious\nrate of interest--fifty or sixty per cent.", "; which interest she exacted\nevery quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious\naccuracy.", "Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and\ninterweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of\nwhich she had found a store in a drawer in the attic.", "I was making my\nbed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before\nshe returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-\nnurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c.).", "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage-road,\nand just as I had dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage veiling\nthe panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a\ncarriage roll through.", "I watched it ascending the drive with\nindifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought\nvisitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the\ndoor-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was admitted.", "All this being\nnothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the\nspectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs\nof the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the casement.", "The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and\nhaving crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out\nthe crumbs on the window-sill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the\nnursery.", "\"Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there?", "Have you\nwashed your hands and face this morning?\"", "I gave another tug before I\nanswered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash\nyielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the\ncherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied--\n\n\"No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.\"", "\"Troublesome, careless child!", "and what are you doing now?", "You look quite\nred, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the\nwindow for?\"", "I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a\nhurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand,\ninflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with\nsoap, water, and a coarse towel; disciplined my head with a bristly\nbrush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the\nstairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast-room.", "I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was\nthere; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon\nme.", "I slowly descended.", "For nearly three months, I had never been\ncalled to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the\nbreakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were become for me awful regions, on\nwhich it dismayed me to intrude.", "I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-room door, and\nI stopped, intimidated and trembling.", "What a miserable little poltroon\nhad fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days!", "I\nfeared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour;\nten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the\nbreakfast-room bell decided me; I _must_ enter.", "\"Who could want me?\"", "I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the\nstiff door-handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts.", "\"What\nshould I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?--a man or a woman?\"", "The\nhandle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low,\nI looked up at--a black pillar!--such, at least, appeared to me, at first\nsight, the straight, narrow, sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug:\nthe grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft\nby way of capital.", "Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to\nme to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger\nwith the words: \"This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to\nyou.\"", "_He_, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and\nhaving examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which\ntwinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice,\n\"Her size is small: what is her age?\"", "\"Ten years.\"", "\"So much?\"", "was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for\nsome minutes.", "Presently he addressed me--\"Your name, little girl?\"", "\"Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman;\nbut then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the\nlines of his frame were equally harsh and prim.", "\"Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?\"", "Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a\ncontrary opinion: I was silent.", "Mrs. Reed answered for me by an\nexpressive shake of the head, adding soon, \"Perhaps the less said on that\nsubject the better, Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "\"Sorry indeed to hear it!", "she and I must have some talk;\" and bending\nfrom the perpendicular, he installed his person in the arm-chair opposite\nMrs. Reed's.", "\"Come here,\" he said.", "I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him.", "What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine!", "what a\ngreat nose!", "and what a mouth!", "and what large prominent teeth!", "\"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,\" he began, \"especially a\nnaughty little girl.", "Do you know where the wicked go after death?\"", "\"They go to hell,\" was my ready and orthodox answer.", "\"And what is hell?", "Can you tell me that?\"", "\"A pit full of fire.\"", "\"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for\never?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"What must you do to avoid it?\"", "I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable:\n\"I must keep in good health, and not die.\"", "\"How can you keep in good health?", "Children younger than you die daily.", "I\nburied a little child of five years old only a day or two since,--a good\nlittle child, whose soul is now in heaven.", "It is to be feared the same\ncould not be said of you were you to be called hence.\"", "Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on\nthe two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far\nenough away.", "\"I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having\nbeen the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress.\"", "\"Benefactress!", "benefactress!\"", "said I inwardly: \"they all call Mrs. Reed\nmy benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.\"", "\"Do you say your prayers night and morning?\"", "continued my interrogator.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Do you read your Bible?\"", "\"Sometimes.\"", "\"With pleasure?", "Are you fond of it?\"", "\"I like Revelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis and Samuel, and\na little bit of Exodus, and some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job\nand Jonah.\"", "\"And the Psalms?", "I hope you like them?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "\"No?", "oh, shocking!", "I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six\nPsalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a\ngingerbread-nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: 'Oh!", "the\nverse of a Psalm!", "angels sing Psalms;' says he, 'I wish to be a little\nangel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant\npiety.\"", "\"Psalms are not interesting,\" I remarked.", "\"That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change\nit: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and\ngive you a heart of flesh.\"", "I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that\noperation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed\ninterposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the\nconversation herself.", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to\nyou three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character\nand disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I\nshould be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep\na strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a\ntendency to deceit.", "I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may\nnot attempt to impose on Mr.", "Brocklehurst.\"", "Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature\nto wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully\nI obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were\nstill repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above.", "Now, uttered\nbefore a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived\nthat she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence\nwhich she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed\nthe feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future\npath; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an\nartful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury?", "\"Nothing, indeed,\" thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and\nhastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish.", "\"Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst; \"it\nis akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake\nburning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs.\nReed.", "I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.\"", "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"", "\"Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants,\nand I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege\nof her election.\"", "\"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I\nassure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was\nbecoming too irksome.\"", "\"No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning.", "I shall\nreturn to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good\nfriend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner.", "I shall\nsend Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there\nwill be no difficulty about receiving her.", "Good-bye.\"", "\"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst,\nand to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.\"", "\"I will, madam.", "Little girl, here is a book entitled the 'Child's\nGuide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing 'An account\nof the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to\nfalsehood and deceit.'\"", "With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn\nin a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.", "Mrs. Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was\nsewing, I was watching her.", "Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or\nseven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and\nstrong-limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese: she had a somewhat\nlarge face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow\nwas low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently\nregular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her\nskin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen; her constitution was\nsound as a bell--illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever\nmanager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control;\nher children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn;\nshe dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off\nhandsome attire.", "Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I examined her\nfigure; I perused her features.", "In my hand I held the tract containing\nthe sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been\npointed as to an appropriate warning.", "What had just passed; what Mrs.\nReed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their\nconversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every\nword as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment\nfomented now within me.", "Mrs. Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers\nat the same time suspended their nimble movements.", "\"Go out of the room; return to the nursery,\" was her mandate.", "My look or\nsomething else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with\nextreme though suppressed irritation.", "I got up, I went to the door; I\ncame back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up\nto her.", "_Speak_ I must: I had been trodden on severely, and _must_ turn: but how?", "What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist?", "I gathered my\nenergies and launched them in this blunt sentence--\n\n\"I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I\ndo not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except\nJohn Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl,\nGeorgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.\"", "Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice\ncontinued to dwell freezingly on mine.", "\"What more have you to say?\"", "she asked, rather in the tone in which a\nperson might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily\nused to a child.", "That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had.", "Shaking from\nhead to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued--\n\n\"I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again\nas long as I live.", "I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and\nif any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say\nthe very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with\nmiserable cruelty.\"", "\"How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?\"", "\"How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the _truth_.", "You\nthink I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or\nkindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity.", "I shall remember\nhow you thrust me back--roughly and violently thrust me back--into the\nred-room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony;\nthough I cried out, while suffocating with distress, 'Have mercy!", "Have\nmercy, Aunt Reed!'", "And that punishment you made me suffer because your\nwicked boy struck me--knocked me down for nothing.", "I will tell anybody\nwho asks me questions, this exact tale.", "People think you a good woman,\nbut you are bad, hard-hearted.", "_You_ are deceitful!\"", "{How dare I, Mrs. Reed?", "How dare I?", "Because it is the truth: p30.jpg}\n\nEre I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with\nthe strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt.", "It seemed as if\nan invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-\nfor liberty.", "Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked\nfrightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her\nhands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she\nwould cry.", "\"Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you?", "Why do you\ntremble so violently?", "Would you like to drink some water?\"", "\"No, Mrs.", "Reed.\"", "\"Is there anything else you wish for, Jane?", "I assure you, I desire to be\nyour friend.\"", "\"Not you.", "You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful\ndisposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what\nyou have done.\"", "\"Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for\ntheir faults.\"", "\"Deceit is not my fault!\"", "I cried out in a savage, high voice.", "\"But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the\nnursery--there's a dear--and lie down a little.\"", "\"I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs.\nReed, for I hate to live here.\"", "\"I will indeed send her to school soon,\" murmured Mrs. Reed _sotto voce_;\nand gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.", "I was left there alone--winner of the field.", "It was the hardest battle I\nhad fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the\nrug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's\nsolitude.", "First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce\npleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my\npulses.", "A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot\ngive its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without\nexperiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction.", "A\nridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a\nmeet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same\nridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have\nrepresented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's\nsilence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the\ndreariness of my hated and hating position.", "Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine\nit seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and\ncorroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.", "Willingly\nwould I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly\nfrom experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her\nrepulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse\nof my nature.", "I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking;\nfain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre\nindignation.", "I took a book--some Arabian tales; I sat down and\nendeavoured to read.", "I could make no sense of the subject; my own\nthoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found\nfascinating.", "I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room: the\nshrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or\nbreeze, through the grounds.", "I covered my head and arms with the skirt\nof my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was\nquite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the\nfalling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept\nby past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together.", "I leaned against a\ngate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where\nthe short grass was nipped and blanched.", "It was a very grey day; a most\nopaque sky, \"onding on snaw,\" canopied all; thence flakes felt it\nintervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without\nmelting.", "I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and\nover again, \"What shall I do?--what shall I do?\"", "All at once I heard a clear voice call, \"Miss Jane!", "where are you?", "Come\nto lunch!\"", "It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step\ncame tripping down the path.", "\"You naughty little thing!\"", "she said.", "\"Why don't you come when you are\ncalled?\"", "Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been\nbrooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross.", "The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not\ndisposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I _was_\ndisposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart.", "I just put my two\narms round her and said, \"Come, Bessie!", "don't scold.\"", "The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to\nindulge in: somehow it pleased her.", "\"You are a strange child, Miss Jane,\" she said, as she looked down at me;\n\"a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I\nsuppose?\"", "I nodded.", "\"And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?\"", "\"What does Bessie care for me?", "She is always scolding me.\"", "\"Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing.", "You should\nbe bolder.\"", "\"What!", "to get more knocks?\"", "\"Nonsense!", "But you are rather put upon, that's certain.", "My mother said,\nwhen she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one\nof her own to be in your place.--Now, come in, and I've some good news\nfor you.\"", "\"I don't think you have, Bessie.\"", "\"Child!", "what do you mean?", "What sorrowful eyes you fix on me!", "Well, but\nMissis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this\nafternoon, and you shall have tea with me.", "I'll ask cook to bake you a\nlittle cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I\nam soon to pack your trunk.", "Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a\nday or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you.\"", "\"Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go.\"", "\"Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of\nme.", "Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so\nprovoking.\"", "\"I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I\nhave got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to\ndread.\"", "\"If you dread them they'll dislike you.\"", "\"As you do, Bessie?\"", "\"I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the\nothers.\"", "\"You don't show it.\"", "\"You little sharp thing!", "you've got quite a new way of talking.", "What\nmakes you so venturesome and hardy?\"", "\"Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides\"--I was going to say\nsomething about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second\nthoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head.", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "Having spread the\nquilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in\norder some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an\nabrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny\nchairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped\nmy proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to\nbreathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and\nthus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the\ngrounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard\nfrost.", "I gave another tug before I\nanswered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash\nyielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the\ncherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied--\n\n\"No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.\"", "\"Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "\"Do you read your Bible?\"", "Now, uttered\nbefore a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived\nthat she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence\nwhich she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed\nthe feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future\npath; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an\nartful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury?", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "How dare I?", "I assure you, I desire to be\nyour friend.\"", "I was left there alone--winner of the field.", "\"Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing." ]

[ "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "Children younger than you die daily.", "What sorrowful eyes you fix on me!", "Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed\nboth my ears, and then left me without a word.", "continued my interrogator.", "Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to\nme to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger\nwith the words: \"This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to\nyou.\"", "My look or\nsomething else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with\nextreme though suppressed irritation.", "What had just passed; what Mrs.\nReed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their\nconversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every\nword as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment\nfomented now within me.", "and what a mouth!", "People think you a good woman,\nbut you are bad, hard-hearted." ]

[ "\"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,\"\ncontinued my benefactress; \"to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for\nthe vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at\nLowood.\"", "\"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,\" returned Mr.\nBrocklehurst.", "\"Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly\nappropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial\ncare shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them.", "I have studied\nhow best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the\nother day, I had a pleasing proof of my success.", "My second daughter,\nAugusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she\nexclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood\nlook, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores,\nand those little holland pockets outside their frocks--they are almost\nlike poor people's children!", "and,' said she, 'they looked at my dress and\nmama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'\"", "\"This is the state of things I quite approve,\" returned Mrs. Reed; \"had I\nsought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more\nexactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.", "Consistency, my dear Mr.\nBrocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.\"", "\"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been\nobserved in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood:\nplain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and\nactive habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its\ninhabitants.\"", "\"Quite right, sir.", "I may then depend upon this child being received as a\npupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position\nand prospects?\"" ]

[ "\n\nFrom my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference\nbetween Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a\nmotive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,--I desired and\nwaited it in silence.", "It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had\nregained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the\nsubject over which I brooded.", "Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a\nsevere eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a\nmore marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children;\nappointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take\nmy meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins\nwere constantly in the drawing-room.", "Not a hint, however, did she drop\nabout sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that\nshe would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her\nglance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable\nand rooted aversion.", "Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as\nlittle as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw\nme, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against\nhim, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which\nhad stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran\nfrom me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.", "I had\nindeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles\ncould inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I\nhad the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he\nwas already with his mama.", "I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the\ntale of how \"that nasty Jane Eyre\" had flown at him like a mad cat: he\nwas stopped rather harshly--\n\n\"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is\nnot worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters\nshould associate with her.\"", "Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all\ndeliberating on my words--\n\n\"They are not fit to associate with me.\"", "Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and\naudacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a\nwhirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib,\ndared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one\nsyllable during the remainder of the day.", "\"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?\"", "\"And so you're glad to leave me?\"", "\"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.\"", "\"Just now!", "and rather!", "How coolly my little lady says it!", "I dare say\nnow if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say\nyou'd _rather_ not.\"", "\"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.\"", "Bessie stooped; we\nmutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted.", "That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie\ntold me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her\nsweetest songs.", "Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine." ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "Your Missis has not been my friend: she has\nbeen my foe.\"", "\"O Miss Jane!", "don't say so!\"", "\"Good-bye to Gateshead!\"", "cried I, as we passed through the hall and went\nout at the front door.", "The moon was set, and it was very dark; Bessie carried a lantern, whose\nlight glanced on wet steps and gravel road sodden by a recent thaw.", "Raw\nand chill was the winter morning: my teeth chattered as I hastened down\nthe drive.", "There was a light in the porter's lodge: when we reached it,\nwe found the porter's wife just kindling her fire: my trunk, which had\nbeen carried down the evening before, stood corded at the door.", "It\nwanted but a few minutes of six, and shortly after that hour had struck,\nthe distant roll of wheels announced the coming coach; I went to the door\nand watched its lamps approach rapidly through the gloom.", "\"Is she going by herself?\"", "asked the porter's wife.", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And how far is it?\"", "\"Fifty miles.\"", "\"What a long way!", "I wonder Mrs. Reed is not afraid to trust her so far\nalone.\"", "The coach drew up; there it was at the gates with its four horses and its\ntop laden with passengers: the guard and coachman loudly urged haste; my\ntrunk was hoisted up; I was taken from Bessie's neck, to which I clung\nwith kisses.", "\"Be sure and take good care of her,\" cried she to the guard, as he lifted\nme into the inside.", "\"Ay, ay!\"", "was the answer: the door was slapped to, a voice exclaimed \"All\nright,\" and on we drove.", "Thus was I severed from Bessie and Gateshead;\nthus whirled away to unknown, and, as I then deemed, remote and\nmysterious regions.", "I remember but little of the journey; I only know that the day seemed to\nme of a preternatural length, and that we appeared to travel over\nhundreds of miles of road.", "We passed through several towns, and in one,\na very large one, the coach stopped; the horses were taken out, and the\npassengers alighted to dine.", "I was carried into an inn, where the guard\nwanted me to have some dinner; but, as I had no appetite, he left me in\nan immense room with a fireplace at each end, a chandelier pendent from\nthe ceiling, and a little red gallery high up against the wall filled\nwith musical instruments.", "Here I walked about for a long time, feeling\nvery strange, and mortally apprehensive of some one coming in and\nkidnapping me; for I believed in kidnappers, their exploits having\nfrequently figured in Bessie's fireside chronicles.", "At last the guard\nreturned; once more I was stowed away in the coach, my protector mounted\nhis own seat, sounded his hollow horn, and away we rattled over the\n\"stony street\" of L-.", "The afternoon came on wet and somewhat misty: as it waned into dusk, I\nbegan to feel that we were getting very far indeed from Gateshead: we\nceased to pass through towns; the country changed; great grey hills\nheaved up round the horizon: as twilight deepened, we descended a valley,\ndark with wood, and long after night had overclouded the prospect, I\nheard a wild wind rushing amongst trees.", "Lulled by the sound, I at last dropped asleep; I had not long slumbered\nwhen the sudden cessation of motion awoke me; the coach-door was open,\nand a person like a servant was standing at it: I saw her face and dress\nby the light of the lamps.", "\"Is there a little girl called Jane Eyre here?\"", "she asked.", "I answered\n\"Yes,\" and was then lifted out; my trunk was handed down, and the coach\ninstantly drove away.", "I was stiff with long sitting, and bewildered with the noise and motion\nof the coach: Gathering my faculties, I looked about me.", "Rain, wind, and\ndarkness filled the air; nevertheless, I dimly discerned a wall before me\nand a door open in it; through this door I passed with my new guide: she\nshut and locked it behind her.", "There was now visible a house or\nhouses--for the building spread far--with many windows, and lights\nburning in some; we went up a broad pebbly path, splashing wet, and were\nadmitted at a door; then the servant led me through a passage into a room\nwith a fire, where she left me alone.", "I stood and warmed my numbed fingers over the blaze, then I looked round;\nthere was no candle, but the uncertain light from the hearth showed, by\nintervals, papered walls, carpet, curtains, shining mahogany furniture:\nit was a parlour, not so spacious or splendid as the drawing-room at\nGateshead, but comfortable enough.", "I was puzzling to make out the\nsubject of a picture on the wall, when the door opened, and an individual\ncarrying a light entered; another followed close behind.", "The first was a tall lady with dark hair, dark eyes, and a pale and large\nforehead; her figure was partly enveloped in a shawl, her countenance was\ngrave, her bearing erect.", "\"The child is very young to be sent alone,\" said she, putting her candle\ndown on the table.", "She considered me attentively for a minute or two,\nthen further added--\n\n\"She had better be put to bed soon; she looks tired: are you tired?\"", "she\nasked, placing her hand on my shoulder.", "\"A little, ma'am.\"", "\"And hungry too, no doubt: let her have some supper before she goes to\nbed, Miss Miller.", "Is this the first time you have left your parents to\ncome to school, my little girl?\"", "I explained to her that I had no parents.", "She inquired how long they had\nbeen dead: then how old I was, what was my name, whether I could read,\nwrite, and sew a little: then she touched my cheek gently with her\nforefinger, and saying, \"She hoped I should be a good child,\" dismissed\nme along with Miss Miller.", "The lady I had left might be about twenty-nine; the one who went with me\nappeared some years younger: the first impressed me by her voice, look,\nand air.", "Miss Miller was more ordinary; ruddy in complexion, though of a\ncareworn countenance; hurried in gait and action, like one who had always\na multiplicity of tasks on hand: she looked, indeed, what I afterwards\nfound she really was, an under-teacher.", "Led by her, I passed from\ncompartment to compartment, from passage to passage, of a large and\nirregular building; till, emerging from the total and somewhat dreary\nsilence pervading that portion of the house we had traversed, we came\nupon the hum of many voices, and presently entered a wide, long room,\nwith great deal tables, two at each end, on each of which burnt a pair of\ncandles, and seated all round on benches, a congregation of girls of\nevery age, from nine or ten to twenty.", "Seen by the dim light of the\ndips, their number to me appeared countless, though not in reality\nexceeding eighty; they were uniformly dressed in brown stuff frocks of\nquaint fashion, and long holland pinafores.", "It was the hour of study;\nthey were engaged in conning over their to-morrow's task, and the hum I\nhad heard was the combined result of their whispered repetitions.", "Miss Miller signed to me to sit on a bench near the door, then walking up\nto the top of the long room she cried out--\n\n\"Monitors, collect the lesson-books and put them away!\"", "Four tall girls arose from different tables, and going round, gathered\nthe books and removed them.", "Miss Miller again gave the word of command--\n\n\"Monitors, fetch the supper-trays!\"", "The tall girls went out and returned presently, each bearing a tray, with\nportions of something, I knew not what, arranged thereon, and a pitcher\nof water and mug in the middle of each tray.", "The portions were handed\nround; those who liked took a draught of the water, the mug being common\nto all.", "When it came to my turn, I drank, for I was thirsty, but did not\ntouch the food, excitement and fatigue rendering me incapable of eating:\nI now saw, however, that it was a thin oaten cake shared into fragments.", "The meal over, prayers were read by Miss Miller, and the classes filed\noff, two and two, upstairs.", "Overpowered by this time with weariness, I\nscarcely noticed what sort of a place the bedroom was, except that, like\nthe schoolroom, I saw it was very long.", "To-night I was to be Miss\nMiller's bed-fellow; she helped me to undress: when laid down I glanced\nat the long rows of beds, each of which was quickly filled with two\noccupants; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished, and amidst\nsilence and complete darkness I fell asleep.", "The night passed rapidly.", "I was too tired even to dream; I only once\nawoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts, and the rain fall in\ntorrents, and to be sensible that Miss Miller had taken her place by my\nside.", "When I again unclosed my eyes, a loud bell was ringing; the girls\nwere up and dressing; day had not yet begun to dawn, and a rushlight or\ntwo burned in the room.", "I too rose reluctantly; it was bitter cold, and\nI dressed as well as I could for shivering, and washed when there was a\nbasin at liberty, which did not occur soon, as there was but one basin to\nsix girls, on the stands down the middle of the room.", "Again the bell\nrang: all formed in file, two and two, and in that order descended the\nstairs and entered the cold and dimly lit schoolroom: here prayers were\nread by Miss Miller; afterwards she called out--\n\n\"Form classes!\"", "A great tumult succeeded for some minutes, during which Miss Miller\nrepeatedly exclaimed, \"Silence!\"", "and \"Order!\"", "When it subsided, I saw\nthem all drawn up in four semicircles, before four chairs, placed at the\nfour tables; all held books in their hands, and a great book, like a\nBible, lay on each table, before the vacant seat.", "A pause of some\nseconds succeeded, filled up by the low, vague hum of numbers; Miss\nMiller walked from class to class, hushing this indefinite sound.", "A distant bell tinkled: immediately three ladies entered the room, each\nwalked to a table and took her seat.", "Miss Miller assumed the fourth\nvacant chair, which was that nearest the door, and around which the\nsmallest of the children were assembled: to this inferior class I was\ncalled, and placed at the bottom of it.", "Business now began, the day's Collect was repeated, then certain texts of\nScripture were said, and to these succeeded a protracted reading of\nchapters in the Bible, which lasted an hour.", "By the time that exercise\nwas terminated, day had fully dawned.", "The indefatigable bell now sounded\nfor the fourth time: the classes were marshalled and marched into another\nroom to breakfast: how glad I was to behold a prospect of getting\nsomething to eat!", "I was now nearly sick from inanition, having taken so\nlittle the day before.", "The refectory was a great, low-ceiled, gloomy room; on two long tables\nsmoked basins of something hot, which, however, to my dismay, sent forth\nan odour far from inviting.", "I saw a universal manifestation of\ndiscontent when the fumes of the repast met the nostrils of those\ndestined to swallow it; from the van of the procession, the tall girls of\nthe first class, rose the whispered words--\n\n\"Disgusting!", "The porridge is burnt again!\"", "\"Silence!\"", "ejaculated a voice; not that of Miss Miller, but one of the\nupper teachers, a little and dark personage, smartly dressed, but of\nsomewhat morose aspect, who installed herself at the top of one table,\nwhile a more buxom lady presided at the other.", "I looked in vain for her\nI had first seen the night before; she was not visible: Miss Miller\noccupied the foot of the table where I sat, and a strange,\nforeign-looking, elderly lady, the French teacher, as I afterwards found,\ntook the corresponding seat at the other board.", "A long grace was said\nand a hymn sung; then a servant brought in some tea for the teachers, and\nthe meal began.", "Ravenous, and now very faint, I devoured a spoonful or two of my portion\nwithout thinking of its taste; but the first edge of hunger blunted, I\nperceived I had got in hand a nauseous mess; burnt porridge is almost as\nbad as rotten potatoes; famine itself soon sickens over it.", "The spoons\nwere moved slowly: I saw each girl taste her food and try to swallow it;\nbut in most cases the effort was soon relinquished.", "Breakfast was over,\nand none had breakfasted.", "Thanks being returned for what we had not got,\nand a second hymn chanted, the refectory was evacuated for the\nschoolroom.", "I was one of the last to go out, and in passing the tables,\nI saw one teacher take a basin of the porridge and taste it; she looked\nat the others; all their countenances expressed displeasure, and one of\nthem, the stout one, whispered--\n\n\"Abominable stuff!", "How shameful!\"", "A quarter of an hour passed before lessons again began, during which the\nschoolroom was in a glorious tumult; for that space of time it seemed to\nbe permitted to talk loud and more freely, and they used their privilege.", "The whole conversation ran on the breakfast, which one and all abused\nroundly.", "Poor things!", "it was the sole consolation they had.", "Miss Miller\nwas now the only teacher in the room: a group of great girls standing\nabout her spoke with serious and sullen gestures.", "I heard the name of\nMr. Brocklehurst pronounced by some lips; at which Miss Miller shook her\nhead disapprovingly; but she made no great effort to check the general\nwrath; doubtless she shared in it.", "A clock in the schoolroom struck nine; Miss Miller left her circle, and\nstanding in the middle of the room, cried--\n\n\"Silence!", "To your seats!\"", "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"", "While the direction was being executed, the lady consulted moved slowly\nup the room.", "I suppose I have a considerable organ of veneration, for I\nretain yet the sense of admiring awe with which my eyes traced her steps.", "Seen now, in broad daylight, she looked tall, fair, and shapely; brown\neyes with a benignant light in their irids, and a fine pencilling of long\nlashes round, relieved the whiteness of her large front; on each of her\ntemples her hair, of a very dark brown, was clustered in round curls,\naccording to the fashion of those times, when neither smooth bands nor\nlong ringlets were in vogue; her dress, also in the mode of the day, was\nof purple cloth, relieved by a sort of Spanish trimming of black velvet;\na gold watch (watches were not so common then as now) shone at her\ngirdle.", "Let the reader add, to complete the picture, refined features; a\ncomplexion, if pale, clear; and a stately air and carriage, and he will\nhave, at least, as clearly as words can give it, a correct idea of the\nexterior of Miss Temple--Maria Temple, as I afterwards saw the name\nwritten in a prayer-book intrusted to me to carry to church.", "The superintendent of Lowood (for such was this lady) having taken her\nseat before a pair of globes placed on one of the tables, summoned the\nfirst class round her, and commenced giving a lesson on geography; the\nlower classes were called by the teachers: repetitions in history,\ngrammar, &c., went on for an hour; writing and arithmetic succeeded, and\nmusic lessons were given by Miss Temple to some of the elder girls.", "The\nduration of each lesson was measured by the clock, which at last struck\ntwelve.", "The superintendent rose--\n\n\"I have a word to address to the pupils,\" said she.", "The tumult of cessation from lessons was already breaking forth, but it\nsank at her voice.", "She went on--\n\n\"You had this morning a breakfast which you could not eat; you must be\nhungry:--I have ordered that a lunch of bread and cheese shall be served\nto all.\"", "The teachers looked at her with a sort of surprise.", "\"It is to be done on my responsibility,\" she added, in an explanatory\ntone to them, and immediately afterwards left the room.", "The bread and cheese was presently brought in and distributed, to the\nhigh delight and refreshment of the whole school.", "The order was now\ngiven \"To the garden!\"", "Each put on a coarse straw bonnet, with strings\nof coloured calico, and a cloak of grey frieze.", "I was similarly\nequipped, and, following the stream, I made my way into the open air.", "The garden was a wide inclosure, surrounded with walls so high as to\nexclude every glimpse of prospect; a covered verandah ran down one side,\nand broad walks bordered a middle space divided into scores of little\nbeds: these beds were assigned as gardens for the pupils to cultivate,\nand each bed had an owner.", "When full of flowers they would doubtless\nlook pretty; but now, at the latter end of January, all was wintry blight\nand brown decay.", "I shuddered as I stood and looked round me: it was an\ninclement day for outdoor exercise; not positively rainy, but darkened by\na drizzling yellow fog; all under foot was still soaking wet with the\nfloods of yesterday.", "The stronger among the girls ran about and engaged\nin active games, but sundry pale and thin ones herded together for\nshelter and warmth in the verandah; and amongst these, as the dense mist\npenetrated to their shivering frames, I heard frequently the sound of a\nhollow cough.", "As yet I had spoken to no one, nor did anybody seem to take notice of me;\nI stood lonely enough: but to that feeling of isolation I was accustomed;\nit did not oppress me much.", "I leant against a pillar of the verandah,\ndrew my grey mantle close about me, and, trying to forget the cold which\nnipped me without, and the unsatisfied hunger which gnawed me within,\ndelivered myself up to the employment of watching and thinking.", "My\nreflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record: I hardly\nyet knew where I was; Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to\nan immeasurable distance; the present was vague and strange, and of the\nfuture I could form no conjecture.", "I looked round the convent-like\ngarden, and then up at the house--a large building, half of which seemed\ngrey and old, the other half quite new.", "The new part, containing the\nschoolroom and dormitory, was lit by mullioned and latticed windows,\nwhich gave it a church-like aspect; a stone tablet over the door bore\nthis inscription:--\n\n\"Lowood Institution.--This portion was rebuilt A.D. ---, by Naomi\nBrocklehurst, of Brocklehurst Hall, in this county.\"", "\"Let your light so\nshine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your\nFather which is in heaven.\"--St.", "Matt.", "v. 16.", "I read these words over and over again: I felt that an explanation\nbelonged to them, and was unable fully to penetrate their import.", "I was\nstill pondering the signification of \"Institution,\" and endeavouring to\nmake out a connection between the first words and the verse of Scripture,\nwhen the sound of a cough close behind me made me turn my head.", "I saw a\ngirl sitting on a stone bench near; she was bent over a book, on the\nperusal of which she seemed intent: from where I stood I could see the\ntitle--it was \"Rasselas;\" a name that struck me as strange, and\nconsequently attractive.", "In turning a leaf she happened to look up, and\nI said to her directly--\n\n\"Is your book interesting?\"", "I had already formed the intention of asking\nher to lend it to me some day.", "\"I like it,\" she answered, after a pause of a second or two, during which\nshe examined me.", "\"What is it about?\"", "I continued.", "I hardly know where I found the\nhardihood thus to open a conversation with a stranger; the step was\ncontrary to my nature and habits: but I think her occupation touched a\nchord of sympathy somewhere; for I too liked reading, though of a\nfrivolous and childish kind; I could not digest or comprehend the serious\nor substantial.", "\"You may look at it,\" replied the girl, offering me the book.", "I did so; a brief examination convinced me that the contents were less\ntaking than the title: \"Rasselas\" looked dull to my trifling taste; I saw\nnothing about fairies, nothing about genii; no bright variety seemed\nspread over the closely-printed pages.", "I returned it to her; she\nreceived it quietly, and without saying anything she was about to relapse\ninto her former studious mood: again I ventured to disturb her--\n\n\"Can you tell me what the writing on that stone over the door means?", "What\nis Lowood Institution?\"", "\"This house where you are come to live.\"", "\"And why do they call it Institution?", "Is it in any way different from\nother schools?\"", "\"It is partly a charity-school: you and I, and all the rest of us, are\ncharity-children.", "I suppose you are an orphan: are not either your\nfather or your mother dead?\"", "\"Both died before I can remember.\"", "\"Well, all the girls here have lost either one or both parents, and this\nis called an institution for educating orphans.\"", "\"Do we pay no money?", "Do they keep us for nothing?\"", "\"We pay, or our friends pay, fifteen pounds a year for each.\"", "\"Then why do they call us charity-children?\"", "\"Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching, and the\ndeficiency is supplied by subscription.\"", "\"Who subscribes?\"", "\"Different benevolent-minded ladies and gentlemen in this neighbourhood\nand in London.\"", "\"Who was Naomi Brocklehurst?\"", "\"The lady who built the new part of this house as that tablet records,\nand whose son overlooks and directs everything here.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because he is treasurer and manager of the establishment.\"", "\"Then this house does not belong to that tall lady who wears a watch, and\nwho said we were to have some bread and cheese?\"", "\"To Miss Temple?", "Oh, no!", "I wish it did: she has to answer to Mr.\nBrocklehurst for all she does.", "Mr. Brocklehurst buys all our food and\nall our clothes.\"", "\"Does he live here?\"", "\"No--two miles off, at a large hall.\"", "\"Is he a good man?\"", "\"He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of good.\"", "\"Did you say that tall lady was called Miss Temple?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what are the other teachers called?\"", "\"The one with red cheeks is called Miss Smith; she attends to the work,\nand cuts out--for we make our own clothes, our frocks, and pelisses, and\neverything; the little one with black hair is Miss Scatcherd; she teaches\nhistory and grammar, and hears the second class repetitions; and the one\nwho wears a shawl, and has a pocket-handkerchief tied to her side with a\nyellow ribband, is Madame Pierrot: she comes from Lisle, in France, and\nteaches French.\"", "\"Do you like the teachers?\"", "\"Well enough.\"", "\"Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ---?--I cannot\npronounce her name as you do.\"", "\"Miss Scatcherd is hasty--you must take care not to offend her; Madame\nPierrot is not a bad sort of person.\"", "\"But Miss Temple is the best--isn't she?\"", "\"Miss Temple is very good and very clever; she is above the rest, because\nshe knows far more than they do.\"", "\"Have you been long here?\"", "\"Two years.\"", "\"Are you an orphan?\"", "\"My mother is dead.\"", "\"Are you happy here?\"", "\"You ask rather too many questions.", "I have given you answers enough for\nthe present: now I want to read.\"", "But at that moment the summons sounded for dinner; all re-entered the\nhouse.", "The odour which now filled the refectory was scarcely more\nappetising than that which had regaled our nostrils at breakfast: the\ndinner was served in two huge tin-plated vessels, whence rose a strong\nsteam redolent of rancid fat.", "I found the mess to consist of indifferent\npotatoes and strange shreds of rusty meat, mixed and cooked together.", "Of\nthis preparation a tolerably abundant plateful was apportioned to each\npupil.", "I ate what I could, and wondered within myself whether every\nday's fare would be like this.", "After dinner, we immediately adjourned to the schoolroom: lessons\nrecommenced, and were continued till five o'clock.", "The only marked event of the afternoon was, that I saw the girl with whom\nI had conversed in the verandah dismissed in disgrace by Miss Scatcherd\nfrom a history class, and sent to stand in the middle of the large\nschoolroom.", "The punishment seemed to me in a high degree ignominious,\nespecially for so great a girl--she looked thirteen or upwards.", "I\nexpected she would show signs of great distress and shame; but to my\nsurprise she neither wept nor blushed: composed, though grave, she stood,\nthe central mark of all eyes.", "\"How can she bear it so quietly--so\nfirmly?\"", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "Your Missis has not been my friend: she has\nbeen my foe.\"", "\"Good-bye to Gateshead!\"", "She considered me attentively for a minute or two,\nthen further added--\n\n\"She had better be put to bed soon; she looks tired: are you tired?\"", "To-night I was to be Miss\nMiller's bed-fellow; she helped me to undress: when laid down I glanced\nat the long rows of beds, each of which was quickly filled with two\noccupants; in ten minutes the single light was extinguished, and amidst\nsilence and complete darkness I fell asleep.", "How shameful!\"", "My\nreflections were too undefined and fragmentary to merit record: I hardly\nyet knew where I was; Gateshead and my past life seemed floated away to\nan immeasurable distance; the present was vague and strange, and of the\nfuture I could form no conjecture.", "I returned it to her; she\nreceived it quietly, and without saying anything she was about to relapse\ninto her former studious mood: again I ventured to disturb her--\n\n\"Can you tell me what the writing on that stone over the door means?", "\"Why?\"", "\"And what are the other teachers called?\"", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her." ]

[ "\"Are you an orphan?\"", "\"No--two miles off, at a large hall.\"", "\"Ay, ay!\"", "cried I, as we passed through the hall and went\nout at the front door.", "\"Do you like the little black one, and the Madame ---?--I cannot\npronounce her name as you do.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"And how far is it?\"", "\"O Miss Jane!", "I\nexpected she would show signs of great distress and shame; but to my\nsurprise she neither wept nor blushed: composed, though grave, she stood,\nthe central mark of all eyes.", "I did so; a brief examination convinced me that the contents were less\ntaking than the title: \"Rasselas\" looked dull to my trifling taste; I saw\nnothing about fairies, nothing about genii; no bright variety seemed\nspread over the closely-printed pages." ]

[ "Discipline prevailed: in five minutes the confused throng was resolved\ninto order, and comparative silence quelled the Babel clamour of tongues.", "The upper teachers now punctually resumed their posts: but still, all\nseemed to wait.", "Ranged on benches down the sides of the room, the eighty\ngirls sat motionless and erect; a quaint assemblage they appeared, all\nwith plain locks combed from their faces, not a curl visible; in brown\ndresses, made high and surrounded by a narrow tucker about the throat,\nwith little pockets of holland (shaped something like a Highlander's\npurse) tied in front of their frocks, and destined to serve the purpose\nof a work-bag: all, too, wearing woollen stockings and country-made\nshoes, fastened with brass buckles.", "Above twenty of those clad in this\ncostume were full-grown girls, or rather young women; it suited them ill,\nand gave an air of oddity even to the prettiest.", "I was still looking at them, and also at intervals examining the\nteachers--none of whom precisely pleased me; for the stout one was a\nlittle coarse, the dark one not a little fierce, the foreigner harsh and\ngrotesque, and Miss Miller, poor thing!", "looked purple, weather-beaten,\nand over-worked--when, as my eye wandered from face to face, the whole\nschool rose simultaneously, as if moved by a common spring.", "What was the matter?", "I had heard no order given: I was puzzled.", "Ere I\nhad gathered my wits, the classes were again seated: but as all eyes were\nnow turned to one point, mine followed the general direction, and\nencountered the personage who had received me last night.", "She stood at\nthe bottom of the long room, on the hearth; for there was a fire at each\nend; she surveyed the two rows of girls silently and gravely.", "Miss\nMiller approaching, seemed to ask her a question, and having received her\nanswer, went back to her place, and said aloud--\n\n\"Monitor of the first class, fetch the globes!\"" ]

[ "\n\nFive o'clock had hardly struck on the morning of the 19th of January,\nwhen Bessie brought a candle into my closet and found me already up and\nnearly dressed.", "I had risen half-an-hour before her entrance, and had\nwashed my face, and put on my clothes by the light of a half-moon just\nsetting, whose rays streamed through the narrow window near my crib.", "I\nwas to leave Gateshead that day by a coach which passed the lodge gates\nat six a.m. Bessie was the only person yet risen; she had lit a fire in\nthe nursery, where she now proceeded to make my breakfast.", "Few children\ncan eat when excited with the thoughts of a journey; nor could I. Bessie,\nhaving pressed me in vain to take a few spoonfuls of the boiled milk and\nbread she had prepared for me, wrapped up some biscuits in a paper and\nput them into my bag; then she helped me on with my pelisse and bonnet,\nand wrapping herself in a shawl, she and I left the nursery.", "As we\npassed Mrs. Reed's bedroom, she said, \"Will you go in and bid Missis good-\nbye?\"", "\"No, Bessie: she came to my crib last night when you were gone down to\nsupper, and said I need not disturb her in the morning, or my cousins\neither; and she told me to remember that she had always been my best\nfriend, and to speak of her and be grateful to her accordingly.\"", "\"What did you say, Miss?\"", "\"Nothing: I covered my face with the bedclothes, and turned from her to\nthe wall.\"", "\"That was wrong, Miss Jane.\"", "\"It was quite right, Bessie.", "I asked of myself.", "\"Were I in her place, it seems to me I\nshould wish the earth to open and swallow me up.", "She looks as if she\nwere thinking of something beyond her punishment--beyond her situation:\nof something not round her nor before her.", "I have heard of day-dreams--is\nshe in a day-dream now?", "Her eyes are fixed on the floor, but I am sure\nthey do not see it--her sight seems turned in, gone down into her heart:\nshe is looking at what she can remember, I believe; not at what is really\npresent.", "I wonder what sort of a girl she is--whether good or naughty.\"", "Soon after five p.m. we had another meal, consisting of a small mug of\ncoffee, and half-a-slice of brown bread.", "I devoured my bread and drank\nmy coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more--I was\nstill hungry.", "Half-an-hour's recreation succeeded, then study; then the\nglass of water and the piece of oat-cake, prayers, and bed.", "Such was my\nfirst day at Lowood." ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Even in that obscure position,\nMiss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant notice: she\nwas continually addressing to her such phrases as the following:--\n\n\"Burns\" (such it seems was her name: the girls here were all called by\ntheir surnames, as boys are elsewhere), \"Burns, you are standing on the\nside of your shoe; turn your toes out immediately.\"", "\"Burns, you poke\nyour chin most unpleasantly; draw it in.\"", "\"Burns, I insist on your\nholding your head up; I will not have you before me in that attitude,\"\n&c. &c.\n\nA chapter having been read through twice, the books were closed and the\ngirls examined.", "The lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles\nI., and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-\nmoney, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little\ndifficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns: her memory seemed\nto have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready\nwith answers on every point.", "I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would\npraise her attention; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out--\n\n\"You dirty, disagreeable girl!", "you have never cleaned your nails this\nmorning!\"", "Burns made no answer: I wondered at her silence.", "\"Why,\" thought I, \"does\nshe not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face,\nas the water was frozen?\"", "My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring me to hold a skein\nof thread: while she was winding it, she talked to me from time to time,\nasking whether I had ever been at school before, whether I could mark,\nstitch, knit, &c.; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my\nobservations on Miss Scatcherd's movements.", "When I returned to my seat,\nthat lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the\nimport; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small\ninner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying\nin her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end.", "This ominous\ntool she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtesy; then she\nquietly, and without being told, unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher\ninstantly and sharply inflicted on her neck a dozen strokes with the\nbunch of twigs.", "Not a tear rose to Burns' eye; and, while I paused from\nmy sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment\nof unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive face\naltered its ordinary expression.", "\"Hardened girl!\"", "exclaimed Miss Scatcherd; \"nothing can correct you of\nyour slatternly habits: carry the rod away.\"", "Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the\nbook-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket,\nand the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.", "The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the\nday at Lowood: the bit of bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five\no'clock had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long\nrestraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in\nthe morning--its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to\nsupply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the\nruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the confusion of many voices gave\none a welcome sense of liberty.", "On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her\npupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing\ngroups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the\nwindows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a\ndrift was already forming against the lower panes; putting my ear close\nto the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within, the\ndisconsolate moan of the wind outside.", "Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would\nhave been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the\nseparation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this obscure\nchaos would have disturbed my peace!", "as it was, I derived from both a\nstrange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to howl\nmore wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise\nto clamour.", "Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of\nthe fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns,\nabsorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a\nbook, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.", "\"Is it still 'Rasselas'?\"", "I asked, coming behind her.", "\"Yes,\" she said, \"and I have just finished it.\"", "And in five minutes more she shut it up.", "I was glad of this.", "\"Now,\"\nthought I, \"I can perhaps get her to talk.\"", "I sat down by her on the\nfloor.", "\"What is your name besides Burns?\"", "\"Helen.\"", "\"Do you come a long way from here?\"", "\"I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.\"", "\"Will you ever go back?\"", "\"I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.\"", "\"You must wish to leave Lowood?\"", "\"No!", "why should I?", "I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it\nwould be of no use going away until I have attained that object.\"", "\"But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?\"", "\"Cruel?", "Not at all!", "She is severe: she dislikes my faults.\"", "\"And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist her.", "If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand; I should\nbreak it under her nose.\"", "\"Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr.\nBrocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great grief\nto your relations.", "It is far better to endure patiently a smart which\nnobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil\nconsequences will extend to all connected with you; and besides, the\nBible bids us return good for evil.\"", "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"", "At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her\ngrave face.", "\"Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one,\neven the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them\ngently; and, if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my meed\nliberally.", "One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that\neven her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure\nme of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly,\ncannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight.\"", "\"That is curious,\" said I, \"it is so easy to be careful.\"", "\"For _you_ I have no doubt it is.", "I observed you in your class this\nmorning, and saw you were closely attentive: your thoughts never seemed\nto wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you.", "Now,\nmine continually rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd,\nand collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very sound\nof her voice; I fall into a sort of dream.", "Sometimes I think I am in\nNorthumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a\nlittle brook which runs through Deepden, near our house;--then, when it\ncomes to my turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and having heard\nnothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no\nanswer ready.\"", "\"Yet how well you replied this afternoon.\"", "\"It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been reading had\ninterested me.", "This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was\nwondering how a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and\nunwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it\nwas that, with his integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no\nfarther than the prerogatives of the crown.", "If he had but been able to\nlook to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was\ntending!", "Still, I like Charles--I respect him--I pity him, poor murdered\nking!", "Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right\nto shed.", "How dared they kill him!\"", "Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well\nunderstand her--that I was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she\ndiscussed.", "I recalled her to my level.", "\"And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts wander then?\"", "\"No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to\nsay which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly\nagreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what\nI wished to gain.\"", "\"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?\"", "\"Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides\nme.", "There is no merit in such goodness.\"", "\"A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you.", "It is all I\never desire to be.", "If people were always kind and obedient to those who\nare cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way:\nthey would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would\ngrow worse and worse.", "When we are struck at without a reason, we should\nstrike back again very hard; I am sure we should--so hard as to teach the\nperson who struck us never to do it again.\"", "\"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are\nbut a little untaught girl.\"", "\"But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to\nplease them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me\nunjustly.", "It is as natural as that I should love those who show me\naffection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved.\"", "\"Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and\ncivilised nations disown it.\"", "\"How?", "I don't understand.\"", "\"It is not violence that best overcomes hate--nor vengeance that most\ncertainly heals injury.\"", "\"What then?\"", "\"Read the New Testament, and observe what Christ says, and how He acts;\nmake His word your rule, and His conduct your example.\"", "\"What does He say?\"", "\"Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate\nyou and despitefully use you.\"", "\"Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son\nJohn, which is impossible.\"", "In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I proceeded forthwith\nto pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments.", "Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or\nsoftening.", "Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected she would then make a\nremark, but she said nothing.", "\"Well,\" I asked impatiently, \"is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad\nwoman?\"", "\"She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your\ncast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you\nremember all she has done and said to you!", "What a singularly deep\nimpression her injustice seems to have made on your heart!", "No ill-usage\nso brands its record on my feelings.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the\nbook-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket,\nand the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.", "Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would\nhave been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the\nseparation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this obscure\nchaos would have disturbed my peace!", "I observed you in your class this\nmorning, and saw you were closely attentive: your thoughts never seemed\nto wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you.", "\"It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been reading had\ninterested me.", "\"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?\"", "\"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are\nbut a little untaught girl.\"", "I don't understand.\"", "\"Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate\nyou and despitefully use you.\"", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?" ]

[ "\"How?", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "\"It is not violence that best overcomes hate--nor vengeance that most\ncertainly heals injury.\"", "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it\nwould be of no use going away until I have attained that object.\"", "On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her\npupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing\ngroups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the\nwindows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a\ndrift was already forming against the lower panes; putting my ear close\nto the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within, the\ndisconsolate moan of the wind outside.", "How dared they kill him!\"", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"" ]

[ "\"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in\nthe middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am\nfar younger than you, and I could not bear it.\"", "\"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is\nweak and silly to say you _cannot bear_ what it is your fate to be\nrequired to bear.\"", "I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of\nendurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the\nforbearance she expressed for her chastiser.", "Still I felt that Helen\nBurns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes.", "I suspected she\nmight be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply;\nlike Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.", "\"You say you have faults, Helen: what are they?", "To me you seem very\ngood.\"", "\"Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd\nsaid, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am\ncareless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have\nno method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot _bear_ to be subjected\nto systematic arrangements.", "This is all very provoking to Miss\nScatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.\"", "\"And cross and cruel,\" I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my\naddition: she kept silence.", "\"Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?\"" ]

[ "\n\nThe next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight;\nbut this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of\nwashing; the water in the pitchers was frozen.", "A change had taken place\nin the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind,\nwhistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had\nmade us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.", "Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I\nfelt ready to perish with cold.", "Breakfast-time came at last, and this\nmorning the porridge was not burnt; the quality was eatable, the quantity\nsmall.", "How small my portion seemed!", "I wished it had been doubled.", "In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and\nregular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been\na spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor\ntherein.", "At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the\nlessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from\ntask to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three\no'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin\ntwo yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in\na quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same.", "At\nthat hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still\nstood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the\nsubject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in\nwhich each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or\ncommendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance.", "It was English\nhistory: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at\nthe commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the\nclass, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops,\nshe was suddenly sent to the very bottom.", "Would you not be happier if you\ntried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it\nexcited?", "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity\nor registering wrongs.", "We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with\nfaults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall\nput them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and\nsin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the\nspark of the spirit will remain,--the impalpable principle of light and\nthought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence\nit came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being\nhigher than man--perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the\npale human soul to brighten to the seraph!", "Surely it will never, on the\ncontrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend?", "No; I cannot\nbelieve that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and\nwhich I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for\nit extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest--a mighty home, not a\nterror and an abyss.", "Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly\ndistinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely\nforgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never\nworries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice\nnever crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.\"", "Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this\nsentence.", "I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but\nrather to converse with her own thoughts.", "She was not allowed much time\nfor meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up,\nexclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent--\n\n\"Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up\nyour work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!\"", "Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor\nwithout reply as without delay." ]

[ "\n\nMy first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance of cold\nmeat and bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary\nmeals, was served round between the services.", "At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an exposed and hilly\nroad, where the bitter winter wind, blowing over a range of snowy summits\nto the north, almost flayed the skin from our faces.", "I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping\nline, her plaid cloak, which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close\nabout her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to keep up our\nspirits, and march forward, as she said, \"like stalwart soldiers.\"", "The\nother teachers, poor things, were generally themselves too much dejected\nto attempt the task of cheering others.", "How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when we got back!", "But, to the little ones at least, this was denied: each hearth in the\nschoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of great girls, and\nbehind them the younger children crouched in groups, wrapping their\nstarved arms in their pinafores.", "A little solace came at tea-time, in the shape of a double ration of\nbread--a whole, instead of a half, slice--with the delicious addition of\na thin scrape of butter: it was the hebdomadal treat to which we all\nlooked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath.", "I generally contrived to reserve\na moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was\ninvariably obliged to part with.", "The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart, the Church\nCatechism, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of St. Matthew; and\nin listening to a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible\nyawns attested her weariness.", "A frequent interlude of these performances\nwas the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half-dozen of little\ngirls, who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down, if not out of the\nthird loft, yet off the fourth form, and be taken up half dead.", "The\nremedy was, to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and\noblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished.", "Sometimes their\nfeet failed them, and they sank together in a heap; they were then\npropped up with the monitors' high stools.", "I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brocklehurst; and indeed that\ngentleman was from home during the greater part of the first month after\nmy arrival; perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend the archdeacon:\nhis absence was a relief to me.", "I need not say that I had my own reasons\nfor dreading his coming: but come he did at last.", "One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at Lowood), as I was sitting\nwith a slate in my hand, puzzling over a sum in long division, my eyes,\nraised in abstraction to the window, caught sight of a figure just\npassing: I recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline; and when,\ntwo minutes after, all the school, teachers included, rose _en masse_, it\nwas not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance\nthey thus greeted.", "A long stride measured the schoolroom, and presently\nbeside Miss Temple, who herself had risen, stood the same black column\nwhich had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead.", "I\nnow glanced sideways at this piece of architecture.", "Yes, I was right: it\nwas Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer,\nnarrower, and more rigid than ever.", "I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I\nremembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition,\n&c.; the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and\nthe teachers of my vicious nature.", "All along I had been dreading the\nfulfilment of this promise,--I had been looking out daily for the \"Coming\nMan,\" whose information respecting my past life and conversation was to\nbrand me as a bad child for ever: now there he was.", "He stood at Miss Temple's side; he was speaking low in her ear: I did not\ndoubt he was making disclosures of my villainy; and I watched her eye\nwith painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on\nme a glance of repugnance and contempt.", "I listened too; and as I\nhappened to be seated quite at the top of the room, I caught most of what\nhe said: its import relieved me from immediate apprehension.", "\"I suppose, Miss Temple, the thread I bought at Lowton will do; it struck\nme that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises, and I\nsorted the needles to match.", "You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to\nmake a memorandum of the darning needles, but she shall have some papers\nsent in next week; and she is not, on any account, to give out more than\none at a time to each pupil: if they have more, they are apt to be\ncareless and lose them.", "And, O ma'am!", "I wish the woollen stockings were\nbetter looked to!--when I was here last, I went into the kitchen-garden\nand examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a quantity of\nblack hose in a very bad state of repair: from the size of the holes in\nthem I was sure they had not been well mended from time to time.\"", "He paused.", "\"Your directions shall be attended to, sir,\" said Miss Temple.", "\"And, ma'am,\" he continued, \"the laundress tells me some of the girls\nhave two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them\nto one.\"", "\"I think I can explain that circumstance, sir.", "Agnes and Catherine\nJohnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last\nThursday, and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the\noccasion.\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.", "\"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur\ntoo often.", "And there is another thing which surprised me; I find, in\nsettling accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread\nand cheese, has twice been served out to the girls during the past\nfortnight.", "How is this?", "I looked over the regulations, and I find no\nsuch meal as lunch mentioned.", "Who introduced this innovation?", "and by\nwhat authority?\"", "\"I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,\" replied Miss Temple:\n\"the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat\nit; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner-time.\"", "\"Madam, allow me an instant.", "You are aware that my plan in bringing up\nthese girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence,\nbut to render them hardy, patient, self-denying.", "Should any little\naccidental disappointment of the appetite occur, such as the spoiling of\na meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish, the incident ought not\nto be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort\nlost, thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution;\nit ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of the pupils, by\nencouraging them to evince fortitude under temporary privation.", "A brief\naddress on those occasions would not be mistimed, wherein a judicious\ninstructor would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of\nthe primitive Christians; to the torments of martyrs; to the exhortations\nof our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciples to take up their\ncross and follow Him; to His warnings that man shall not live by bread\nalone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God; to His\ndivine consolations, \"If ye suffer hunger or thirst for My sake, happy\nare ye.\"", "Oh, madam, when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt\nporridge, into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile\nbodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal souls!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst again paused--perhaps overcome by his feelings.", "Miss\nTemple had looked down when he first began to speak to her; but she now\ngazed straight before her, and her face, naturally pale as marble,\nappeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material;\nespecially her mouth, closed as if it would have required a sculptor's\nchisel to open it, and her brow settled gradually into petrified\nseverity.", "Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the hearth with his hands behind\nhis back, majestically surveyed the whole school.", "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly.", "Miss Temple, that girl's hair must be cut off entirely; I will\nsend a barber to-morrow: and I see others who have far too much of the\nexcrescence--that tall girl, tell her to turn round.", "Tell all the first\nform to rise up and direct their faces to the wall.\"", "Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips, as if to smooth away\nthe involuntary smile that curled them; she gave the order, however, and\nwhen the first class could take in what was required of them, they\nobeyed.", "Leaning a little back on my bench, I could see the looks and\ngrimaces with which they commented on this manoeuvre: it was a pity Mr.\nBrocklehurst could not see them too; he would perhaps have felt that,\nwhatever he might do with the outside of the cup and platter, the inside\nwas further beyond his interference than he imagined.", "He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then\npronounced sentence.", "These words fell like the knell of doom--\n\n\"All those top-knots must be cut off.\"", "Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.", "\"Madam,\" he pursued, \"I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is not of\nthis world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts of the\nflesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness and\nsobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel; and each of the young\npersons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity\nitself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off; think of the\ntime wasted, of--\"\n\nMr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors, ladies, now\nentered the room.", "They ought to have come a little sooner to have heard\nhis lecture on dress, for they were splendidly attired in velvet, silk,\nand furs.", "The two younger of the trio (fine girls of sixteen and\nseventeen) had grey beaver hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich\nplumes, and from under the brim of this graceful head-dress fell a\nprofusion of light tresses, elaborately curled; the elder lady was\nenveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed with ermine, and she wore a\nfalse front of French curls.", "These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs. and the\nMisses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at the top of the\nroom.", "It seems they had come in the carriage with their reverend\nrelative, and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of the room\nupstairs, while he transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned\nthe laundress, and lectured the superintendent.", "They now proceeded to\naddress divers remarks and reproofs to Miss Smith, who was charged with\nthe care of the linen and the inspection of the dormitories: but I had no\ntime to listen to what they said; other matters called off and enchanted\nmy attention.", "Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr. Brocklehurst and Miss\nTemple, I had not, at the same time, neglected precautions to secure my\npersonal safety; which I thought would be effected, if I could only elude\nobservation.", "To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while\nseeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to\nconceal my face: I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous\nslate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an\nobtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over\nnow, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied\nmy forces for the worst.", "It came.", "\"A careless girl!\"", "said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after--\"It is\nthe new pupil, I perceive.\"", "And before I could draw breath, \"I must not\nforget I have a word to say respecting her.\"", "Then aloud: how loud it\nseemed to me!", "\"Let the child who broke her slate come forward!\"", "Of my own accord I could not have stirred; I was paralysed: but the two\ngreat girls who sit on each side of me, set me on my legs and pushed me\ntowards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple gently assisted me to his\nvery feet, and I caught her whispered counsel--\n\n\"Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident; you shall not be\npunished.\"", "The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.", "\"Another minute, and she will despise me for a hypocrite,\" thought I; and\nan impulse of fury against Reed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my\npulses at the conviction.", "I was no Helen Burns.", "\"Fetch that stool,\" said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a very high one\nfrom which a monitor had just risen: it was brought.", "\"Place the child upon it.\"", "And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no condition to\nnote particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up to the\nheight of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of me, and\nthat a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of\nsilvery plumage extended and waved below me.", "Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.", "\"Ladies,\" said he, turning to his family, \"Miss Temple, teachers, and\nchildren, you all see this girl?\"", "Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed like burning-glasses\nagainst my scorched skin.", "\"You see she is yet young; you observe she possesses the ordinary form of\nchildhood; God has graciously given her the shape that He has given to\nall of us; no signal deformity points her out as a marked character.", "Who\nwould think that the Evil One had already found a servant and agent in\nher?", "Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case.\"", "A pause--in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel\nthat the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked,\nmust be firmly sustained.", "\"My dear children,\" pursued the black marble clergyman, with pathos,\n\"this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes my duty to warn\nyou, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a little\ncastaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and\nan alien.", "You must be on your guard against her; you must shun her\nexample; if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from your sports,\nand shut her out from your converse.", "Teachers, you must watch her: keep\nyour eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions,\npunish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible,\nfor (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native\nof a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its\nprayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut--this girl is--a liar!\"", "Now came a pause of ten minutes, during which I, by this time in perfect\npossession of my wits, observed all the female Brocklehursts produce\ntheir pocket-handkerchiefs and apply them to their optics, while the\nelderly lady swayed herself to and fro, and the two younger ones\nwhispered, \"How shocking!\"", "Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.", "\"This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious and charitable lady\nwho adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and\nwhose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an\ningratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was\nobliged to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious\nexample should contaminate their purity: she has sent her here to be\nhealed, even as the Jews of old sent their diseased to the troubled pool\nof Bethesda; and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the\nwaters to stagnate round her.\"", "With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted the top button of\nhis surtout, muttered something to his family, who rose, bowed to Miss\nTemple, and then all the great people sailed in state from the room.", "Turning at the door, my judge said--\n\n\"Let her stand half-an-hour longer on that stool, and let no one speak to\nher during the remainder of the day.\"", "There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the\nshame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now\nexposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy.", "What my sensations were\nno language can describe; but just as they all rose, stifling my breath\nand constricting my throat, a girl came up and passed me: in passing, she\nlifted her eyes.", "What a strange light inspired them!", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "I\nnow glanced sideways at this piece of architecture.", "Yes, I was right: it\nwas Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer,\nnarrower, and more rigid than ever.", "\"And, ma'am,\" he continued, \"the laundress tells me some of the girls\nhave two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them\nto one.\"", "\"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur\ntoo often.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the\nshame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now\nexposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy.", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "What a smile!", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!" ]

[ "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "A pause--in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel\nthat the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked,\nmust be firmly sustained.", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb.", "\"A careless girl!\"", "And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no condition to\nnote particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up to the\nheight of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of me, and\nthat a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of\nsilvery plumage extended and waved below me.", "He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then\npronounced sentence.", "\"Naturally!", "said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after--\"It is\nthe new pupil, I perceive.\"", "\"I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir,\" replied Miss Temple:\n\"the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat\nit; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner-time.\"", "And before I could draw breath, \"I must not\nforget I have a word to say respecting her.\"" ]

[ "Suddenly his eye gave\na blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its\npupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used--\n\n\"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what--_what_ is that girl with curled hair?", "Red hair, ma'am, curled--curled all over?\"", "And extending his cane he\npointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.", "\"It is Julia Severn,\" replied Miss Temple, very quietly.", "\"Julia Severn, ma'am!", "And why has she, or any other, curled hair?", "Why,\nin defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she\nconform to the world so openly--here in an evangelical, charitable\nestablishment--as to wear her hair one mass of curls?\"", "\"Julia's hair curls naturally,\" returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.", "\"Naturally!", "Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls\nto be the children of Grace: and why that abundance?", "I have again and\nagain intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly,\nplainly." ]

[ "\n\nMy first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either;\nit comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself\nto new rules and unwonted tasks.", "The fear of failure in these points\nharassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these\nwere no trifles.", "During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after\ntheir melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond\nthe garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had\nto pass an hour every day in the open air.", "Our clothing was insufficient\nto protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into\nour shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered\nwith chilblains, as were our feet: I remember well the distracting\nirritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet\ninflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes\ninto my shoes in the morning.", "Then the scanty supply of food was\ndistressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely\nsufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid.", "From this deficiency of\nnourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger\npupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would\ncoax or menace the little ones out of their portion.", "Many a time I have\nshared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread\ndistributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the\ncontents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an\naccompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.", "Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season.", "We had to walk two miles\nto Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated.", "We set out cold,\nwe arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost\nparalysed.", "What an\nextraordinary sensation that ray sent through me!", "How the new feeling\nbore me up!", "It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim,\nand imparted strength in the transit.", "I mastered the rising hysteria,\nlifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool.", "Helen Burns asked\nsome slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the\ntriviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she\nagain went by.", "What a smile!", "I remember it now, and I know that it was\nthe effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked\nlineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from\nthe aspect of an angel.", "Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm\n\"the untidy badge;\" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by\nMiss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she\nhad blotted an exercise in copying it out.", "Such is the imperfect nature\nof man!", "such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes\nlike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to\nthe full brightness of the orb." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "She sat down on the\nground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head\nupon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian.", "I was the\nfirst who spoke--\n\n\"Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a\nliar?\"", "\"Everybody, Jane?", "Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you\ncalled so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.\"", "\"But what have I to do with millions?", "The eighty, I know, despise me.\"", "\"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises\nor dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.\"", "\"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?\"", "\"Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man:\nhe is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked.", "Had\nhe treated you as an especial favourite, you would have found enemies,\ndeclared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would\noffer you sympathy if they dared.", "Teachers and pupils may look coldly on\nyou for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their\nhearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long\nappear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression.", "Besides, Jane\"--she paused.", "\"Well, Helen?\"", "said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers\ngently to warm them, and went on--\n\n\"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own\nconscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be\nwithout friends.\"", "\"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if\nothers don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be\nsolitary and hated, Helen.", "Look here; to gain some real affection from\nyou, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly\nsubmit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to\nstand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest--\"\n\n\"Hush, Jane!", "you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too\nimpulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and\nput life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble\nself, or than creatures feeble as you.", "Besides this earth, and besides\nthe race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits:\nthat world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us,\nfor they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and\nshame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see\nour tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you\nare of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously\nrepeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in\nyour ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the\nseparation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward.", "Why,\nthen, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon\nover, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?\"", "I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted\nthere was an alloy of inexpressible sadness.", "I felt the impression of\nwoe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came; and when, having\ndone speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I\nmomentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her.", "Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she\ndrew me to her, and we reposed in silence.", "We had not sat long thus,\nwhen another person came in.", "Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a\nrising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through\na window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which\nwe at once recognised as Miss Temple.", "\"I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre,\" said she; \"I want you in my\nroom; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too.\"", "We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some\nintricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her\napartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful.", "Miss Temple\ntold Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one side of the\nhearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side.", "\"Is it all over?\"", "she asked, looking down at my face.", "\"Have you cried\nyour grief away?\"", "\"I am afraid I never shall do that.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else,\nwill now think me wicked.\"", "\"We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.", "Continue to\nact as a good girl, and you will satisfy us.\"", "\"Shall I, Miss Temple?\"", "\"You will,\" said she, passing her arm round me.", "\"And now tell me who is\nthe lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?\"", "\"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife.", "My uncle is dead, and he left me to her\ncare.\"", "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns.", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "Have you coughed much to-day?\"", "\"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.\"", "\"And the pain in your chest?\"", "\"It is a little better.\"", "Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then she\nreturned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low.", "She\nwas pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully--\n\n\"But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.\"", "She\nrang her bell.", "\"Barbara,\" she said to the servant who answered it, \"I have not yet had\ntea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.\"", "And a tray was soon brought.", "How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups\nand bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire!", "How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast!", "of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry)\ndiscerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.", "\"Barbara,\" said she, \"can you not bring a little more bread and butter?", "There is not enough for three.\"", "Barbara went out: she returned soon--\n\n\"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.\"", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.", "\"Oh, very well!\"", "returned Miss Temple; \"we must make it do, Barbara, I\nsuppose.\"", "And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling, \"Fortunately, I\nhave it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once.\"", "Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each\nof us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got\nup, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper,\ndisclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.", "\"I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you,\" said she,\n\"but as there is so little toast, you must have it now,\" and she\nproceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.", "We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least\ndelight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which\nour hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the\ndelicate fare she liberally supplied.", "Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat\none on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and\nHelen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.", "Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state in her\nmien, of refined propriety in her language, which precluded deviation\ninto the ardent, the excited, the eager: something which chastened the\npleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling\nsense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns, I was\nstruck with wonder.", "The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her\nbeloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her\nown unique mind, had roused her powers within her.", "They woke, they\nkindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till\nthis hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the\nliquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more\nsingular than that of Miss Temple's--a beauty neither of fine colour nor\nlong eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of\nradiance.", "Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what\nsource I cannot tell.", "Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough,\nvigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid\neloquence?", "Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to\nme, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very\nbrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.", "They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past;\nof countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at:\nthey spoke of books: how many they had read!", "What stores of knowledge\nthey possessed!", "Then they seemed so familiar with French names and\nFrench authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple\nasked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her\nfather had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and\nconstrue a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration\nexpanding at every sounding line.", "She had scarcely finished ere the bell\nannounced bedtime!", "no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us\nboth, saying, as she drew us to her heart--\n\n\"God bless you, my children!\"", "Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly;\nit was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second\ntime breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.", "On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was\nexamining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we\nentered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow\nshe should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her\nshoulder.", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"", "Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece\nof pasteboard the word \"Slattern,\" and bound it like a phylactery round\nHelen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead.", "She wore\nit till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved\npunishment.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "The eighty, I know, despise me.\"", "\"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if\nothers don't love me I would rather die than live--I cannot bear to be\nsolitary and hated, Helen.", "Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she\ndrew me to her, and we reposed in silence.", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.", "Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough,\nvigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid\neloquence?", "Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to\nme, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very\nbrief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.", "She had scarcely finished ere the bell\nannounced bedtime!", "no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us\nboth, saying, as she drew us to her heart--\n\n\"God bless you, my children!\"", "Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly;\nit was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second\ntime breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek." ]

[ "Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat\none on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and\nHelen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.", "The eighty, I know, despise me.\"", "\"My things were indeed in shameful disorder,\" murmured Helen to me, in a\nlow voice: \"I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.\"", "\"How are you to-night, Helen?", "\"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises\nor dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.\"", "They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past;\nof countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at:\nthey spoke of books: how many they had read!", "Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.\nBrocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.", "\"Well, Helen?\"", "Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece\nof pasteboard the word \"Slattern,\" and bound it like a phylactery round\nHelen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead.", "\"Barbara,\" she said to the servant who answered it, \"I have not yet had\ntea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.\"" ]

[ "\"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?\"", "\"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often\nheard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would\nalways keep me.\"", "\"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a\ncriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.", "You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as\nyou can.", "Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and\nexaggerate nothing.\"", "I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate--most\ncorrect; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange\ncoherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad\nchildhood.", "Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it\ngenerally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's\nwarnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the\nnarrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary.", "Thus restrained\nand simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss\nTemple fully believed me.", "In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see\nme after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the\nred-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to\nbreak bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of\nagony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication\nfor pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.", "I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she\nthen said--\n\n\"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees\nwith your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation;\nto me, Jane, you are clear now.\"", "She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well\ncontented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the\ncontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white\nforehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she\nproceeded to address Helen Burns." ]

[ "\n\nEre the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and\nall were gone into the refectory to tea.", "I now ventured to descend: it\nwas deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor.", "The\nspell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction\ntook place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I\nsank prostrate with my face to the ground.", "Now I wept: Helen Burns was\nnot here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my\ntears watered the boards.", "I had meant to be so good, and to do so much\nat Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection.", "Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the\nhead of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had\nsmiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me\nlearn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months\nlonger: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an\nequal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay\nagain crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?", "\"Never,\" I thought; and ardently I wished to die.", "While sobbing out this\nwish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up--again Helen\nBurns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long,\nvacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.", "\"Come, eat something,\" she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as\nif a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition.", "Helen\nregarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation,\nthough I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud.", "The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I\nran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which\nshe was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and\nlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her\nsad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.", "About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple,\nwho had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what\nhe said went to corroborate my account.", "Miss Temple, having assembled\nthe whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges\nalleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to\npronounce her completely cleared from every imputation.", "The teachers\nthen shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran\nthrough the ranks of my companions.", "Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh,\nresolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and\nmy success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally\ntenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few\nweeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was\nallowed to commence French and drawing.", "I learned the first two tenses\nof the verb _Etre_, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-\nbye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the\nsame day.", "That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in\nimagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread\nand new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I\nfeasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the\ndark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees,\npicturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings\nof butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe\ncherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with\nyoung ivy sprays.", "I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my\never being able to translate currently a certain little French story\nwhich Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved\nto my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.", "Well has Solomon said--\"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a\nstalled ox and hatred therewith.\"", "I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for\nGateshead and its daily luxuries." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "All this I enjoyed often\nand fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for this unwonted liberty\nand pleasure there was a cause, to which it now becomes my task to\nadvert.", "Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when I speak of it\nas bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from the verge of a stream?", "Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not is another\nquestion.", "That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred\npestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the\nOrphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and\ndormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an\nhospital.", "Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of the pupils to\nreceive infection: forty-five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one\ntime.", "Classes were broken up, rules relaxed.", "The few who continued well\nwere allowed almost unlimited license; because the medical attendant\ninsisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them in health:\nand had it been otherwise, no one had leisure to watch or restrain them.", "Miss Temple's whole attention was absorbed by the patients: she lived in\nthe sick-room, never quitting it except to snatch a few hours' rest at\nnight.", "The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other\nnecessary preparations for the departure of those girls who were\nfortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove\nthem from the seat of contagion.", "Many, already smitten, went home only\nto die: some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the\nnature of the malady forbidding delay.", "While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood, and death its\nfrequent visitor; while there was gloom and fear within its walls; while\nits rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drug and the\npastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality, that\nbright May shone unclouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland out\nof doors.", "Its garden, too, glowed with flowers: hollyhocks had sprung up\ntall as trees, lilies had opened, tulips and roses were in bloom; the\nborders of the little beds were gay with pink thrift and crimson double\ndaisies; the sweetbriars gave out, morning and evening, their scent of\nspice and apples; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for most\nof the inmates of Lowood, except to furnish now and then a handful of\nherbs and blossoms to put in a coffin.", "But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the\nscene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from\nmorning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived\nbetter too.", "Mr. Brocklehurst and his family never came near Lowood now:\nhousehold matters were not scrutinised into; the cross housekeeper was\ngone, driven away by the fear of infection; her successor, who had been\nmatron at the Lowton Dispensary, unused to the ways of her new abode,\nprovided with comparative liberality.", "Besides, there were fewer to feed;\nthe sick could eat little; our breakfast-basins were better filled; when\nthere was no time to prepare a regular dinner, which often happened, she\nwould give us a large piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and\ncheese, and this we carried away with us to the wood, where we each chose\nthe spot we liked best, and dined sumptuously.", "My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising white and dry from\nthe very middle of the beck, and only to be got at by wading through the\nwater; a feat I accomplished barefoot.", "The stone was just broad enough\nto accommodate, comfortably, another girl and me, at that time my chosen\ncomrade--one Mary Ann Wilson; a shrewd, observant personage, whose\nsociety I took pleasure in, partly because she was witty and original,\nand partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease.", "Some years\nolder than I, she knew more of the world, and could tell me many things I\nliked to hear: with her my curiosity found gratification: to my faults\nalso she gave ample indulgence, never imposing curb or rein on anything I\nsaid.", "She had a turn for narrative, I for analysis; she liked to inform,\nI to question; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much\nentertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual intercourse.", "And where, meantime, was Helen Burns?", "Why did I not spend these sweet\ndays of liberty with her?", "Had I forgotten her?", "or was I so worthless as\nto have grown tired of her pure society?", "Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I\nhave mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance: she could only tell\nme amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose\nto indulge in; while, if I have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified\nto give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far\nhigher things.", "True, reader; and I knew and felt this: and though I am a defective\nbeing, with many faults and few redeeming points, yet I never tired of\nHelen Burns; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of\nattachment, as strong, tender, and respectful as any that ever animated\nmy heart.", "How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under\nall circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which\nill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled?", "But Helen was\nill at present: for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I\nknew not what room upstairs.", "She was not, I was told, in the hospital\nportion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was\nconsumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance,\nunderstood something mild, which time and care would be sure to\nalleviate.", "I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming\ndownstairs on very warm sunny afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple\ninto the garden; but, on these occasions, I was not allowed to go and\nspeak to her; I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not\ndistinctly; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a distance under the\nverandah.", "One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out very late with\nMary Ann in the wood; we had, as usual, separated ourselves from the\nothers, and had wandered far; so far that we lost our way, and had to ask\nit at a lonely cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a\nherd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood.", "When we got\nback, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's,\nwas standing at the garden door.", "Mary Ann remarked that she supposed\nsome one must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time of\nthe evening.", "She went into the house; I stayed behind a few minutes to\nplant in my garden a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and\nwhich I feared would wither if I left them till the morning.", "This done,\nI lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew\nfell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still\nglowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon\nrose with such majesty in the grave east.", "I was noting these things and\nenjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never\ndone before:--\n\n\"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying!", "This world is pleasant--it would be dreary to be called from it, and to\nhave to go who knows where?\"", "And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had\nbeen infused into it concerning heaven and hell; and for the first time\nit recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each\nside, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one\npoint where it stood--the present; all the rest was formless cloud and\nvacant depth; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging\namid that chaos.", "While pondering this new idea, I heard the front door\nopen; Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse.", "After she had seen\nhim mount his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I\nran up to her.", "\"How is Helen Burns?\"", "\"Very poorly,\" was the answer.", "\"Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And what does he say about her?\"", "\"He says she'll not be here long.\"", "This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have only conveyed\nthe notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own\nhome.", "I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying; but I\nknew instantly now!", "It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns\nwas numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be\ntaken to the region of spirits, if such region there were.", "I experienced\na shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire--a\nnecessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay.", "\"She is in Miss Temple's room,\" said the nurse.", "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness.", "Indisposed to hesitate, and full of impatient\nimpulses--soul and senses quivering with keen throes--I put it back and\nlooked in.", "My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.", "Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its white curtains,\nthere stood a little crib.", "I saw the outline of a form under the\nclothes, but the face was hid by the hangings: the nurse I had spoken to\nin the garden sat in an easy-chair asleep; an unsnuffed candle burnt\ndimly on the table.", "Miss Temple was not to be seen: I knew afterwards\nthat she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-room.", "I\nadvanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I\npreferred speaking before I withdrew it.", "I still recoiled at the dread\nof seeing a corpse.", "\"Helen!\"", "I whispered softly, \"are you awake?\"", "She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I saw her face, pale,\nwasted, but quite composed: she looked so little changed that my fear was\ninstantly dissipated.", "\"Can it be you, Jane?\"", "she asked, in her own gentle voice.", "\"Oh!\"", "I thought, \"she is not going to die; they are mistaken: she could\nnot speak and look so calmly if she were.\"", "I got on to her crib and kissed her: her forehead was cold, and her cheek\nboth cold and thin, and so were her hand and wrist; but she smiled as of\nold.", "\"Why are you come here, Jane?", "It is past eleven o'clock: I heard it\nstrike some minutes since.\"", "\"I came to see you, Helen: I heard you were very ill, and I could not\nsleep till I had spoken to you.\"", "\"You came to bid me good-bye, then: you are just in time probably.\"", "\"Are you going somewhere, Helen?", "Are you going home?\"", "\"Yes; to my long home--my last home.\"", "\"No, no, Helen!\"", "I stopped, distressed.", "While I tried to devour my\ntears, a fit of coughing seized Helen; it did not, however, wake the\nnurse; when it was over, she lay some minutes exhausted; then she\nwhispered--\n\n\"Jane, your little feet are bare; lie down and cover yourself with my\nquilt.\"", "I did so: she put her arm over me, and I nestled close to her.", "After a\nlong silence, she resumed, still whispering--\n\n\"I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be\nsure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about.", "We all must die\none day, and the illness which is removing me is not painful; it is\ngentle and gradual: my mind is at rest.", "I leave no one to regret me\nmuch: I have only a father; and he is lately married, and will not miss\nme.", "By dying young, I shall escape great sufferings.", "I had not\nqualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have\nbeen continually at fault.\"", "\"But where are you going to, Helen?", "Can you see?", "Do you know?\"", "\"I believe; I have faith: I am going to God.\"", "\"Where is God?", "What is God?\"", "\"My Maker and yours, who will never destroy what He created.", "I rely\nimplicitly on His power, and confide wholly in His goodness: I count the\nhours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him,\nreveal Him to me.\"", "\"You are sure, then, Helen, that there is such a place as heaven, and\nthat our souls can get to it when we die?\"", "\"I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign\nmy immortal part to Him without any misgiving.", "God is my father; God is\nmy friend: I love Him; I believe He loves me.\"", "\"And shall I see you again, Helen, when I die?\"", "\"You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same\nmighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.\"", "Again I questioned, but this time only in thought.", "\"Where is that\nregion?", "Does it exist?\"", "And I clasped my arms closer round Helen; she\nseemed dearer to me than ever; I felt as if I could not let her go; I lay\nwith my face hidden on her neck.", "Presently she said, in the sweetest\ntone--\n\n\"How comfortable I am!", "That last fit of coughing has tired me a little;\nI feel as if I could sleep: but don't leave me, Jane; I like to have you\nnear me.\"", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "\"Yes.\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.", "\"Helen!\"", "she asked, in her own gentle voice.", "Are you going home?\"", "After a\nlong silence, she resumed, still whispering--\n\n\"I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be\nsure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about.", "I had not\nqualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have\nbeen continually at fault.\"", "Presently she said, in the sweetest\ntone--\n\n\"How comfortable I am!" ]

[ "\"He says she'll not be here long.\"", "How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under\nall circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which\nill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled?", "Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I\nhave mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance: she could only tell\nme amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose\nto indulge in; while, if I have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified\nto give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far\nhigher things.", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "Miss Temple was not to be seen: I knew afterwards\nthat she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-room.", "What is God?\"", "Many, already smitten, went home only\nto die: some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the\nnature of the malady forbidding delay.", "I was noting these things and\nenjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never\ndone before:--\n\n\"How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying!", "This done,\nI lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew\nfell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still\nglowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon\nrose with such majesty in the grave east." ]

[ "\"May I go up and speak to her?\"", "\"Oh no, child!", "It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in;\nyou'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.\"", "The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led\nto the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss\nMiller was calling the pupils to go to bed.", "It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I--not having\nbeen able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the\ndormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose--rose\nsoftly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept\nfrom the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room.", "It was\nquite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of\nthe unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows,\nenabled me to find it without difficulty.", "An odour of camphor and burnt\nvinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door\nquickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me.", "I\ndreaded being discovered and sent back; for I _must_ see Helen,--I must\nembrace her before she died,--I must give her one last kiss, exchange\nwith her one last word.", "Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and\nsucceeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached\nanother flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me\nwas Miss Temple's room.", "A light shone through the keyhole and from under\nthe door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity.", "Coming near, I\nfound the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the\nclose abode of sickness." ]

[ "\n\nBut the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.", "Spring\ndrew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased;\nits snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated.", "My wretched feet,\nflayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal\nand subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and\nmornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in\nour veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden:\nsometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a\ngreenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested\nthe thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning\nbrighter traces of her steps.", "Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves;\nsnow-drops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies.", "On\nThursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still\nsweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.", "I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon\nonly bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our\ngarden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a\ngreat hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of\ndark stones and sparkling eddies.", "How different had this scene looked\nwhen I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in\nfrost, shrouded with snow!--when mists as chill as death wandered to the\nimpulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down \"ing\" and\nholm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck!", "That beck itself\nwas then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and\nsent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or\nwhirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, _that_ showed only ranks\nof skeletons.", "April advanced to May: a bright serene May it was; days of blue sky,\nplacid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its\nduration.", "And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its\ntresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak\nskeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up\nprofusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its\nhollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its\nwild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed\nspots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre.", "\"I'll stay with you, _dear_ Helen: no one shall take me away.\"", "\"Are you warm, darling?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Good-night, Jane.\"", "\"Good-night, Helen.\"", "She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.", "When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I\nwas in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through\nthe passage back to the dormitory.", "I was not reprimanded for leaving my\nbed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was\nafforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned\nthat Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid\nin the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round\nher neck.", "I was asleep, and Helen was--dead.", "Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her\ndeath it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet\nmarks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word \"Resurgam.\"" ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "During these eight years my life was uniform: but not unhappy, because it\nwas not inactive.", "I had the means of an excellent education placed\nwithin my reach; a fondness for some of my studies, and a desire to excel\nin all, together with a great delight in pleasing my teachers, especially\nsuch as I loved, urged me on: I availed myself fully of the advantages\noffered me.", "In time I rose to be the first girl of the first class; then\nI was invested with the office of teacher; which I discharged with zeal\nfor two years: but at the end of that time I altered.", "Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued superintendent\nof the seminary: to her instruction I owed the best part of my\nacquirements; her friendship and society had been my continual solace;\nshe had stood me in the stead of mother, governess, and, latterly,\ncompanion.", "At this period she married, removed with her husband (a\nclergyman, an excellent man, almost worthy of such a wife) to a distant\ncounty, and consequently was lost to me.", "From the day she left I was no longer the same: with her was gone every\nsettled feeling, every association that had made Lowood in some degree a\nhome to me.", "I had imbibed from her something of her nature and much of\nher habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemed better regulated\nfeelings had become the inmates of my mind.", "I had given in allegiance to\nduty and order; I was quiet; I believed I was content: to the eyes of\nothers, usually even to my own, I appeared a disciplined and subdued\ncharacter.", "But destiny, in the shape of the Rev.", "Mr. Nasmyth, came between me and\nMiss Temple: I saw her in her travelling dress step into a post-chaise,\nshortly after the marriage ceremony; I watched the chaise mount the hill\nand disappear beyond its brow; and then retired to my own room, and there\nspent in solitude the greatest part of the half-holiday granted in honour\nof the occasion.", "I walked about the chamber most of the time.", "I imagined myself only to\nbe regretting my loss, and thinking how to repair it; but when my\nreflections were concluded, and I looked up and found that the afternoon\nwas gone, and evening far advanced, another discovery dawned on me,\nnamely, that in the interval I had undergone a transforming process; that\nmy mind had put off all it had borrowed of Miss Temple--or rather that\nshe had taken with her the serene atmosphere I had been breathing in her\nvicinity--and that now I was left in my natural element, and beginning to\nfeel the stirring of old emotions.", "It did not seem as if a prop were\nwithdrawn, but rather as if a motive were gone: it was not the power to\nbe tranquil which had failed me, but the reason for tranquillity was no\nmore.", "My world had for some years been in Lowood: my experience had been\nof its rules and systems; now I remembered that the real world was wide,\nand that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and\nexcitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse,\nto seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.", "I went to my window, opened it, and looked out.", "There were the two wings\nof the building; there was the garden; there were the skirts of Lowood;\nthere was the hilly horizon.", "My eye passed all other objects to rest on\nthose most remote, the blue peaks; it was those I longed to surmount; all\nwithin their boundary of rock and heath seemed prison-ground, exile\nlimits.", "I traced the white road winding round the base of one mountain,\nand vanishing in a gorge between two; how I longed to follow it farther!", "I recalled the time when I had travelled that very road in a coach; I\nremembered descending that hill at twilight; an age seemed to have\nelapsed since the day which brought me first to Lowood, and I had never\nquitted it since.", "My vacations had all been spent at school: Mrs. Reed\nhad never sent for me to Gateshead; neither she nor any of her family had\never been to visit me.", "I had had no communication by letter or message\nwith the outer world: school-rules, school-duties, school-habits and\nnotions, and voices, and faces, and phrases, and costumes, and\npreferences, and antipathies--such was what I knew of existence.", "And now\nI felt that it was not enough; I tired of the routine of eight years in\none afternoon.", "I desired liberty; for liberty I gasped; for liberty I\nuttered a prayer; it seemed scattered on the wind then faintly blowing.", "I\nabandoned it and framed a humbler supplication; for change, stimulus:\nthat petition, too, seemed swept off into vague space: \"Then,\" I cried,\nhalf desperate, \"grant me at least a new servitude!\"", "Here a bell, ringing the hour of supper, called me downstairs.", "I was not free to resume the interrupted chain of my reflections till\nbedtime: even then a teacher who occupied the same room with me kept me\nfrom the subject to which I longed to recur, by a prolonged effusion of\nsmall talk.", "How I wished sleep would silence her.", "It seemed as if,\ncould I but go back to the idea which had last entered my mind as I stood\nat the window, some inventive suggestion would rise for my relief.", "Miss Gryce snored at last; she was a heavy Welshwoman, and till now her\nhabitual nasal strains had never been regarded by me in any other light\nthan as a nuisance; to-night I hailed the first deep notes with\nsatisfaction; I was debarrassed of interruption; my half-effaced thought\ninstantly revived.", "\"A new servitude!", "There is something in that,\" I soliloquised (mentally,\nbe it understood; I did not talk aloud), \"I know there is, because it\ndoes not sound too sweet; it is not like such words as Liberty,\nExcitement, Enjoyment: delightful sounds truly; but no more than sounds\nfor me; and so hollow and fleeting that it is mere waste of time to\nlisten to them.", "But Servitude!", "That must be matter of fact.", "Any one\nmay serve: I have served here eight years; now all I want is to serve\nelsewhere.", "Can I not get so much of my own will?", "Is not the thing\nfeasible?", "Yes--yes--the end is not so difficult; if I had only a brain\nactive enough to ferret out the means of attaining it.\"", "I sat up in bed by way of arousing this said brain: it was a chilly\nnight; I covered my shoulders with a shawl, and then I proceeded _to\nthink_ again with all my might.", "\"What do I want?", "A new place, in a new house, amongst new faces, under\nnew circumstances: I want this because it is of no use wanting anything\nbetter.", "How do people do to get a new place?", "They apply to friends, I\nsuppose: I have no friends.", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "I could not tell: nothing answered me; I then ordered my brain to find a\nresponse, and quickly.", "It worked and worked faster: I felt the pulses\nthrob in my head and temples; but for nearly an hour it worked in chaos;\nand no result came of its efforts.", "Feverish with vain labour, I got up\nand took a turn in the room; undrew the curtain, noted a star or two,\nshivered with cold, and again crept to bed.", "A kind fairy, in my absence, had surely dropped the required suggestion\non my pillow; for as I lay down, it came quietly and naturally to my\nmind.--\"Those who want situations advertise; you must advertise in the\n_---shire Herald_.\"", "\"How?", "I know nothing about advertising.\"", "Replies rose smooth and prompt now:--\n\n\"You must enclose the advertisement and the money to pay for it under a\ncover directed to the editor of the _Herald_; you must put it, the first\nopportunity you have, into the post at Lowton; answers must be addressed\nto J.E., at the post-office there; you can go and inquire in about a week\nafter you send your letter, if any are come, and act accordingly.\"", "This scheme I went over twice, thrice; it was then digested in my mind; I\nhad it in a clear practical form: I felt satisfied, and fell asleep.", "With earliest day, I was up: I had my advertisement written, enclosed,\nand directed before the bell rang to rouse the school; it ran thus:--\n\n\"A young lady accustomed to tuition\" (had I not been a teacher two\nyears?)", "\"is desirous of meeting with a situation in a private family\nwhere the children are under fourteen\" (I thought that as I was barely\neighteen, it would not do to undertake the guidance of pupils nearer my\nown age).", "\"She is qualified to teach the usual branches of a good English\neducation, together with French, Drawing, and Music\" (in those days,\nreader, this now narrow catalogue of accomplishments, would have been\nheld tolerably comprehensive).", "\"Address, J.E., Post-office, Lowton, ---\nshire.\"", "This document remained locked in my drawer all day: after tea, I asked\nleave of the new superintendent to go to Lowton, in order to perform some\nsmall commissions for myself and one or two of my fellow-teachers;\npermission was readily granted; I went.", "It was a walk of two miles, and\nthe evening was wet, but the days were still long; I visited a shop or\ntwo, slipped the letter into the post-office, and came back through heavy\nrain, with streaming garments, but with a relieved heart.", "The succeeding week seemed long: it came to an end at last, however, like\nall sublunary things, and once more, towards the close of a pleasant\nautumn day, I found myself afoot on the road to Lowton.", "A picturesque\ntrack it was, by the way; lying along the side of the beck and through\nthe sweetest curves of the dale: but that day I thought more of the\nletters, that might or might not be awaiting me at the little burgh\nwhither I was bound, than of the charms of lea and water.", "My ostensible errand on this occasion was to get measured for a pair of\nshoes; so I discharged that business first, and when it was done, I\nstepped across the clean and quiet little street from the shoemaker's to\nthe post-office: it was kept by an old dame, who wore horn spectacles on\nher nose, and black mittens on her hands.", "\"Are there any letters for J.E.?\"", "I asked.", "She peered at me over her spectacles, and then she opened a drawer and\nfumbled among its contents for a long time, so long that my hopes began\nto falter.", "At last, having held a document before her glasses for nearly\nfive minutes, she presented it across the counter, accompanying the act\nby another inquisitive and mistrustful glance--it was for J.E.", "\"Is there only one?\"", "I demanded.", "\"There are no more,\" said she; and I put it in my pocket and turned my\nface homeward: I could not open it then; rules obliged me to be back by\neight, and it was already half-past seven.", "Various duties awaited me on my arrival.", "I had to sit with the girls\nduring their hour of study; then it was my turn to read prayers; to see\nthem to bed: afterwards I supped with the other teachers.", "Even when we\nfinally retired for the night, the inevitable Miss Gryce was still my\ncompanion: we had only a short end of candle in our candlestick, and I\ndreaded lest she should talk till it was all burnt out; fortunately,\nhowever, the heavy supper she had eaten produced a soporific effect: she\nwas already snoring before I had finished undressing.", "There still\nremained an inch of candle: I now took out my letter; the seal was an\ninitial F.; I broke it; the contents were brief.", "\"If J.E., who advertised in the _---shire Herald_ of last Thursday,\npossesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she is in a position to give\nsatisfactory references as to character and competency, a situation can\nbe offered her where there is but one pupil, a little girl, under ten\nyears of age; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum.", "J.E.", "is\nrequested to send references, name, address, and all particulars to the\ndirection:--\n\n\"Mrs. Fairfax, Thornfield, near Millcote, ---shire.\"", "I examined the document long: the writing was old-fashioned and rather\nuncertain, like that of an elderly lady.", "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out.", "Next day new steps were to be taken; my plans could no longer be confined\nto my own breast; I must impart them in order to achieve their success.", "Having sought and obtained an audience of the superintendent during the\nnoontide recreation, I told her I had a prospect of getting a new\nsituation where the salary would be double what I now received (for at\nLowood I only got 15 pounds per annum); and requested she would break the\nmatter for me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or some of the committee, and\nascertain whether they would permit me to mention them as references.", "She\nobligingly consented to act as mediatrix in the matter.", "The next day she\nlaid the affair before Mr. Brocklehurst, who said that Mrs. Reed must be\nwritten to, as she was my natural guardian.", "A note was accordingly\naddressed to that lady, who returned for answer, that \"I might do as I\npleased: she had long relinquished all interference in my affairs.\"", "This\nnote went the round of the committee, and at last, after what appeared to\nme most tedious delay, formal leave was given me to better my condition\nif I could; and an assurance added, that as I had always conducted myself\nwell, both as teacher and pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character\nand capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution, should\nforthwith be furnished me.", "This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month, forwarded a\ncopy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and got that lady's reply, stating that she\nwas satisfied, and fixing that day fortnight as the period for my\nassuming the post of governess in her house.", "I now busied myself in preparations: the fortnight passed rapidly.", "I had\nnot a very large wardrobe, though it was adequate to my wants; and the\nlast day sufficed to pack my trunk,--the same I had brought with me eight\nyears ago from Gateshead.", "The box was corded, the card nailed on.", "In half-an-hour the carrier was\nto call for it to take it to Lowton, whither I myself was to repair at an\nearly hour the next morning to meet the coach.", "I had brushed my black\nstuff travelling-dress, prepared my bonnet, gloves, and muff; sought in\nall my drawers to see that no article was left behind; and now having\nnothing more to do, I sat down and tried to rest.", "I could not; though I\nhad been on foot all day, I could not now repose an instant; I was too\nmuch excited.", "A phase of my life was closing to-night, a new one opening\nto-morrow: impossible to slumber in the interval; I must watch feverishly\nwhile the change was being accomplished.", "\"Miss,\" said a servant who met me in the lobby, where I was wandering\nlike a troubled spirit, \"a person below wishes to see you.\"", "\"The carrier, no doubt,\" I thought, and ran downstairs without inquiry.", "I\nwas passing the back-parlour or teachers' sitting-room, the door of which\nwas half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one ran out--\n\n\"It's her, I am sure!--I could have told her anywhere!\"", "cried the\nindividual who stopped my progress and took my hand.", "I looked: I saw a woman attired like a well-dressed servant, matronly,\nyet still young; very good-looking, with black hair and eyes, and lively\ncomplexion.", "\"Well, who is it?\"", "she asked, in a voice and with a smile I half\nrecognised; \"you've not quite forgotten me, I think, Miss Jane?\"", "In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously: \"Bessie!", "Bessie!", "Bessie!\"", "that was all I said; whereat she half laughed, half\ncried, and we both went into the parlour.", "By the fire stood a little\nfellow of three years old, in plaid frock and trousers.", "\"That is my little boy,\" said Bessie directly.", "\"Then you are married, Bessie?\"", "\"Yes; nearly five years since to Robert Leaven, the coachman; and I've a\nlittle girl besides Bobby there, that I've christened Jane.\"", "\"And you don't live at Gateshead?\"", "\"I live at the lodge: the old porter has left.\"", "\"Well, and how do they all get on?", "Tell me everything about them,\nBessie: but sit down first; and, Bobby, come and sit on my knee, will\nyou?\"", "but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother.", "\"You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so very stout,\" continued\nMrs. Leaven.", "\"I dare say they've not kept you too well at school: Miss\nReed is the head and shoulders taller than you are; and Miss Georgiana\nwould make two of you in breadth.\"", "\"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie?\"", "\"Very.", "She went up to London last winter with her mama, and there\neverybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her: but his\nrelations were against the match; and--what do you think?--he and Miss\nGeorgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped.", "It\nwas Miss Reed that found them out: I believe she was envious; and now she\nand her sister lead a cat and dog life together; they are always\nquarrelling--\"\n\n\"Well, and what of John Reed?\"", "\"Oh, he is not doing so well as his mama could wish.", "He went to college,\nand he got--plucked, I think they call it: and then his uncles wanted him\nto be a barrister, and study the law: but he is such a dissipated young\nman, they will never make much of him, I think.\"", "\"What does he look like?\"", "\"He is very tall: some people call him a fine-looking young man; but he\nhas such thick lips.\"", "\"And Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "\"Missis looks stout and well enough in the face, but I think she's not\nquite easy in her mind: Mr. John's conduct does not please her--he spends\na deal of money.\"", "\"Did she send you here, Bessie?\"", "\"No, indeed: but I have long wanted to see you, and when I heard that\nthere had been a letter from you, and that you were going to another part\nof the country, I thought I'd just set off, and get a look at you before\nyou were quite out of my reach.\"", "\"I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie.\"", "I said this laughing:\nI perceived that Bessie's glance, though it expressed regard, did in no\nshape denote admiration.", "\"No, Miss Jane, not exactly: you are genteel enough; you look like a\nlady, and it is as much as ever I expected of you: you were no beauty as\na child.\"", "I smiled at Bessie's frank answer: I felt that it was correct, but I\nconfess I was not quite indifferent to its import: at eighteen most\npeople wish to please, and the conviction that they have not an exterior\nlikely to second that desire brings anything but gratification.", "\"I dare say you are clever, though,\" continued Bessie, by way of solace.", "\"What can you do?", "Can you play on the piano?\"", "\"A little.\"", "There was one in the room; Bessie went and opened it, and then asked me\nto sit down and give her a tune: I played a waltz or two, and she was\ncharmed.", "\"The Miss Reeds could not play as well!\"", "said she exultingly.", "\"I always\nsaid you would surpass them in learning: and can you draw?\"", "\"That is one of my paintings over the chimney-piece.\"", "It was a landscape\nin water colours, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in\nacknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf,\nand which she had framed and glazed.", "\"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane!", "It is as fine a picture as any Miss\nReed's drawing-master could paint, let alone the young ladies themselves,\nwho could not come near it: and have you learnt French?\"", "\"Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it.\"", "\"And you can work on muslin and canvas?\"", "\"I can.\"", "\"Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane!", "I knew you would be: you will get\non whether your relations notice you or not.", "There was something I\nwanted to ask you.", "Have you ever heard anything from your father's\nkinsfolk, the Eyres?\"", "\"Never in my life.\"", "\"Well, you know Missis always said they were poor and quite despicable:\nand they may be poor; but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds\nare; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead\nand wanted to see you; Missis said you were at school fifty miles off; he\nseemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay: he was going on a\nvoyage to a foreign country, and the ship was to sail from London in a\nday or two.", "He looked quite a gentleman, and I believe he was your\nfather's brother.\"", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "There were the two wings\nof the building; there was the garden; there were the skirts of Lowood;\nthere was the hilly horizon.", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "There still\nremained an inch of candle: I now took out my letter; the seal was an\ninitial F.; I broke it; the contents were brief.", "\"If J.E., who advertised in the _---shire Herald_ of last Thursday,\npossesses the acquirements mentioned, and if she is in a position to give\nsatisfactory references as to character and competency, a situation can\nbe offered her where there is but one pupil, a little girl, under ten\nyears of age; and where the salary is thirty pounds per annum.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Bessie!\"", "that was all I said; whereat she half laughed, half\ncried, and we both went into the parlour.", "\"Well, and how do they all get on?", "\"I dare say they've not kept you too well at school: Miss\nReed is the head and shoulders taller than you are; and Miss Georgiana\nwould make two of you in breadth.\"" ]

[ "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Bessie!", "Miss Temple, through all changes, had thus far continued superintendent\nof the seminary: to her instruction I owed the best part of my\nacquirements; her friendship and society had been my continual solace;\nshe had stood me in the stead of mother, governess, and, latterly,\ncompanion.", "\"Well, who is it?\"", "There are many others who have no friends,\nwho must look about for themselves and be their own helpers; and what is\ntheir resource?\"", "But destiny, in the shape of the Rev.", "\"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane!", "\"And you don't live at Gateshead?\"", "I had imbibed from her something of her nature and much of\nher habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemed better regulated\nfeelings had become the inmates of my mind.", "\"That is my little boy,\" said Bessie directly." ]

[ "This circumstance was\nsatisfactory: a private fear had haunted me, that in thus acting for\nmyself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into some\nscrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my endeavours to be\nrespectable, proper, _en regle_.", "I now felt that an elderly lady was no\nbad ingredient in the business I had on hand.", "Mrs. Fairfax!", "I saw her\nin a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps, but not uncivil: a\nmodel of elderly English respectability.", "Thornfield!", "that, doubtless,\nwas the name of her house: a neat orderly spot, I was sure; though I\nfailed in my efforts to conceive a correct plan of the premises.", "Millcote, ---shire; I brushed up my recollections of the map of England,\nyes, I saw it; both the shire and the town.", "---shire was seventy miles\nnearer London than the remote county where I now resided: that was a\nrecommendation to me.", "I longed to go where there was life and movement:\nMillcote was a large manufacturing town on the banks of the A-; a busy\nplace enough, doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete\nchange at least.", "Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of\nlong chimneys and clouds of smoke--\"but,\" I argued, \"Thornfield will,\nprobably, be a good way from the town.\"", "Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out." ]

[ "\n\nHitherto I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant\nexistence: to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as many\nchapters.", "But this is not to be a regular autobiography.", "I am only\nbound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess some\ndegree of interest; therefore I now pass a space of eight years almost in\nsilence: a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links of\nconnection.", "When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at Lowood,\nit gradually disappeared from thence; but not till its virulence and the\nnumber of its victims had drawn public attention on the school.", "Inquiry\nwas made into the origin of the scourge, and by degrees various facts\ncame out which excited public indignation in a high degree.", "The\nunhealthy nature of the site; the quantity and quality of the children's\nfood; the brackish, fetid water used in its preparation; the pupils'\nwretched clothing and accommodations--all these things were discovered,\nand the discovery produced a result mortifying to Mr. Brocklehurst, but\nbeneficial to the institution.", "Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed\nlargely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better\nsituation; new regulations were made; improvements in diet and clothing\nintroduced; the funds of the school were intrusted to the management of a\ncommittee.", "Mr. Brocklehurst, who, from his wealth and family\nconnections, could not be overlooked, still retained the post of\ntreasurer; but he was aided in the discharge of his duties by gentlemen\nof rather more enlarged and sympathising minds: his office of inspector,\ntoo, was shared by those who knew how to combine reason with strictness,\ncomfort with economy, compassion with uprightness.", "The school, thus\nimproved, became in time a truly useful and noble institution.", "I\nremained an inmate of its walls, after its regeneration, for eight years:\nsix as pupil, and two as teacher; and in both capacities I bear my\ntestimony to its value and importance.", "\"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?\"", "\"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did\ntell me--\"\n\n\"Madeira?\"", "I suggested.", "\"Yes, that is it--that is the very word.\"", "\"So he went?\"", "\"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house: Missis was very high\nwith him; she called him afterwards a 'sneaking tradesman.'", "My Robert\nbelieves he was a wine-merchant.\"", "\"Very likely,\" I returned; \"or perhaps clerk or agent to a\nwine-merchant.\"", "Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was\nobliged to leave me: I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning\nat Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach.", "We parted finally at the\ndoor of the Brocklehurst Arms there: each went her separate way; she set\noff for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take\nher back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new\nduties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote." ]

[ "\n\nI both wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on the day which followed\nthis sleepless night: I wanted to hear his voice again, yet feared to\nmeet his eye.", "During the early part of the morning, I momentarily\nexpected his coming; he was not in the frequent habit of entering the\nschoolroom, but he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and I had the\nimpression that he was sure to visit it that day.", "But the morning passed just as usual: nothing happened to interrupt the\nquiet course of Adele's studies; only soon after breakfast, I heard some\nbustle in the neighbourhood of Mr. Rochester's chamber, Mrs. Fairfax's\nvoice, and Leah's, and the cook's--that is, John's wife--and even John's\nown gruff tones.", "There were exclamations of \"What a mercy master was not\nburnt in his bed!\"", "\"It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at\nnight.\"", "\"How providential that he had presence of mind to think of the\nwater-jug!\"", "\"I wonder he waked nobody!\"", "\"It is to be hoped he will not\ntake cold with sleeping on the library sofa,\" &c.\n\nTo much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to\nrights; and when I passed the room, in going downstairs to dinner, I saw\nthrough the open door that all was again restored to complete order; only\nthe bed was stripped of its hangings.", "Leah stood up in the window-seat,\nrubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke.", "I was about to address\nher, for I wished to know what account had been given of the affair: but,\non advancing, I saw a second person in the chamber--a woman sitting on a\nchair by the bedside, and sewing rings to new curtains.", "That woman was\nno other than Grace Poole.", "There she sat, staid and taciturn-looking, as usual, in her brown stuff\ngown, her check apron, white handkerchief, and cap.", "She was intent on\nher work, in which her whole thoughts seemed absorbed: on her hard\nforehead, and in her commonplace features, was nothing either of the\npaleness or desperation one would have expected to see marking the\ncountenance of a woman who had attempted murder, and whose intended\nvictim had followed her last night to her lair, and (as I believed),\ncharged her with the crime she wished to perpetrate.", "I was\namazed--confounded.", "She looked up, while I still gazed at her: no start,\nno increase or failure of colour betrayed emotion, consciousness of\nguilt, or fear of detection.", "She said \"Good morning, Miss,\" in her usual\nphlegmatic and brief manner; and taking up another ring and more tape,\nwent on with her sewing.", "\"I will put her to some test,\" thought I: \"such absolute impenetrability\nis past comprehension.\"", "\"Good morning, Grace,\" I said.", "\"Has anything happened here?", "I thought I\nheard the servants all talking together a while ago.\"", "\"Only master had been reading in his bed last night; he fell asleep with\nhis candle lit, and the curtains got on fire; but, fortunately, he awoke\nbefore the bed-clothes or the wood-work caught, and contrived to quench\nthe flames with the water in the ewer.\"", "\"A strange affair!\"", "I said, in a low voice: then, looking at her\nfixedly--\"Did Mr. Rochester wake nobody?", "Did no one hear him move?\"", "She again raised her eyes to me, and this time there was something of\nconsciousness in their expression.", "She seemed to examine me warily; then\nshe answered--\n\n\"The servants sleep so far off, you know, Miss, they would not be likely\nto hear.", "Mrs. Fairfax's room and yours are the nearest to master's; but\nMrs. Fairfax said she heard nothing: when people get elderly, they often\nsleep heavy.\"", "She paused, and then added, with a sort of assumed\nindifference, but still in a marked and significant tone--\"But you are\nyoung, Miss; and I should say a light sleeper: perhaps you may have heard\na noise?\"", "\"I did,\" said I, dropping my voice, so that Leah, who was still polishing\nthe panes, could not hear me, \"and at first I thought it was Pilot: but\nPilot cannot laugh; and I am certain I heard a laugh, and a strange one.\"", "She took a new needleful of thread, waxed it carefully, threaded her\nneedle with a steady hand, and then observed, with perfect composure--\n\n\"It is hardly likely master would laugh, I should think, Miss, when he\nwas in such danger: You must have been dreaming.\"", "\"I was not dreaming,\" I said, with some warmth, for her brazen coolness\nprovoked me.", "Again she looked at me; and with the same scrutinising and\nconscious eye.", "\"Have you told master that you heard a laugh?\"", "she inquired.", "\"I have not had the opportunity of speaking to him this morning.\"", "\"You did not think of opening your door and looking out into the\ngallery?\"", "she further asked.", "She appeared to be cross-questioning me, attempting to draw from me\ninformation unawares.", "The idea struck me that if she discovered I knew\nor suspected her guilt, she would be playing of some of her malignant\npranks on me; I thought it advisable to be on my guard.", "\"On the contrary,\" said I, \"I bolted my door.\"", "\"Then you are not in the habit of bolting your door every night before\nyou get into bed?\"", "\"Fiend!", "she wants to know my habits, that she may lay her plans\naccordingly!\"", "Indignation again prevailed over prudence: I replied\nsharply, \"Hitherto I have often omitted to fasten the bolt: I did not\nthink it necessary.", "I was not aware any danger or annoyance was to be\ndreaded at Thornfield Hall: but in future\" (and I laid marked stress on\nthe words) \"I shall take good care to make all secure before I venture to\nlie down.\"", "\"It will be wise so to do,\" was her answer: \"this neighbourhood is as\nquiet as any I know, and I never heard of the hall being attempted by\nrobbers since it was a house; though there are hundreds of pounds' worth\nof plate in the plate-closet, as is well known.", "And you see, for such a\nlarge house, there are very few servants, because master has never lived\nhere much; and when he does come, being a bachelor, he needs little\nwaiting on: but I always think it best to err on the safe side; a door is\nsoon fastened, and it is as well to have a drawn bolt between one and any\nmischief that may be about.", "A deal of people, Miss, are for trusting all\nto Providence; but I say Providence will not dispense with the means,\nthough He often blesses them when they are used discreetly.\"", "And here\nshe closed her harangue: a long one for her, and uttered with the\ndemureness of a Quakeress.", "I still stood absolutely dumfoundered at what appeared to me her\nmiraculous self-possession and most inscrutable hypocrisy, when the cook\nentered.", "\"Mrs. Poole,\" said she, addressing Grace, \"the servants' dinner will soon\nbe ready: will you come down?\"", "\"No; just put my pint of porter and bit of pudding on a tray, and I'll\ncarry it upstairs.\"", "\"You'll have some meat?\"", "\"Just a morsel, and a taste of cheese, that's all.\"", "\"And the sago?\"", "\"Never mind it at present: I shall be coming down before teatime: I'll\nmake it myself.\"", "The cook here turned to me, saying that Mrs. Fairfax was waiting for me:\nso I departed.", "I hardly heard Mrs. Fairfax's account of the curtain conflagration during\ndinner, so much was I occupied in puzzling my brains over the enigmatical\ncharacter of Grace Poole, and still more in pondering the problem of her\nposition at Thornfield and questioning why she had not been given into\ncustody that morning, or, at the very least, dismissed from her master's\nservice.", "He had almost as much as declared his conviction of her\ncriminality last night: what mysterious cause withheld him from accusing\nher?", "Why had he enjoined me, too, to secrecy?", "It was strange: a bold,\nvindictive, and haughty gentleman seemed somehow in the power of one of\nthe meanest of his dependants; so much in her power, that even when she\nlifted her hand against his life, he dared not openly charge her with the\nattempt, much less punish her for it.", "Had Grace been young and handsome, I should have been tempted to think\nthat tenderer feelings than prudence or fear influenced Mr. Rochester in\nher behalf; but, hard-favoured and matronly as she was, the idea could\nnot be admitted.", "\"Yet,\" I reflected, \"she has been young once; her youth\nwould be contemporary with her master's: Mrs. Fairfax told me once, she\nhad lived here many years.", "I don't think she can ever have been pretty;\nbut, for aught I know, she may possess originality and strength of\ncharacter to compensate for the want of personal advantages.", "Mr.\nRochester is an amateur of the decided and eccentric: Grace is eccentric\nat least.", "What if a former caprice (a freak very possible to a nature so\nsudden and headstrong as his) has delivered him into her power, and she\nnow exercises over his actions a secret influence, the result of his own\nindiscretion, which he cannot shake off, and dare not disregard?\"", "But,\nhaving reached this point of conjecture, Mrs. Poole's square, flat\nfigure, and uncomely, dry, even coarse face, recurred so distinctly to my\nmind's eye, that I thought, \"No; impossible!", "my supposition cannot be\ncorrect.", "Yet,\" suggested the secret voice which talks to us in our own\nhearts, \"you are not beautiful either, and perhaps Mr. Rochester approves\nyou: at any rate, you have often felt as if he did; and last\nnight--remember his words; remember his look; remember his voice!\"", "I well remembered all; language, glance, and tone seemed at the moment\nvividly renewed.", "I was now in the schoolroom; Adele was drawing; I bent\nover her and directed her pencil.", "She looked up with a sort of start.", "\"Qu' avez-vous, mademoiselle?\"", "said she.", "\"Vos doigts tremblent comme la\nfeuille, et vos joues sont rouges: mais, rouges comme des cerises!\"", "\"I am hot, Adele, with stooping!\"", "She went on sketching; I went on\nthinking.", "I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful notion I had been conceiving\nrespecting Grace Poole; it disgusted me.", "I compared myself with her, and\nfound we were different.", "Bessie Leaven had said I was quite a lady; and\nshe spoke truth--I was a lady.", "And now I looked much better than I did\nwhen Bessie saw me; I had more colour and more flesh, more life, more\nvivacity, because I had brighter hopes and keener enjoyments.", "\"Evening approaches,\" said I, as I looked towards the window.", "\"I have\nnever heard Mr. Rochester's voice or step in the house to-day; but surely\nI shall see him before night: I feared the meeting in the morning; now I\ndesire it, because expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown\nimpatient.\"", "When dusk actually closed, and when Adele left me to go and play in the\nnursery with Sophie, I did most keenly desire it.", "I listened for the\nbell to ring below; I listened for Leah coming up with a message; I\nfancied sometimes I heard Mr. Rochester's own tread, and I turned to the\ndoor, expecting it to open and admit him.", "The door remained shut;\ndarkness only came in through the window.", "Still it was not late; he\noften sent for me at seven and eight o'clock, and it was yet but six.", "Surely I should not be wholly disappointed to-night, when I had so many\nthings to say to him!", "I wanted again to introduce the subject of Grace\nPoole, and to hear what he would answer; I wanted to ask him plainly if\nhe really believed it was she who had made last night's hideous attempt;\nand if so, why he kept her wickedness a secret.", "It little mattered\nwhether my curiosity irritated him; I knew the pleasure of vexing and\nsoothing him by turns; it was one I chiefly delighted in, and a sure\ninstinct always prevented me from going too far; beyond the verge of\nprovocation I never ventured; on the extreme brink I liked well to try my\nskill.", "Retaining every minute form of respect, every propriety of my\nstation, I could still meet him in argument without fear or uneasy\nrestraint; this suited both him and me.", "A tread creaked on the stairs at last.", "Leah made her appearance; but it\nwas only to intimate that tea was ready in Mrs. Fairfax's room.", "Thither\nI repaired, glad at least to go downstairs; for that brought me, I\nimagined, nearer to Mr. Rochester's presence.", "\"You must want your tea,\" said the good lady, as I joined her; \"you ate\nso little at dinner.", "I am afraid,\" she continued, \"you are not well to-\nday: you look flushed and feverish.\"", "\"Oh, quite well!", "I never felt better.\"", "\"Then you must prove it by evincing a good appetite; will you fill the\nteapot while I knit off this needle?\"", "Having completed her task, she\nrose to draw down the blind, which she had hitherto kept up, by way, I\nsuppose, of making the most of daylight, though dusk was now fast\ndeepening into total obscurity.", "\"It is fair to-night,\" said she, as she looked through the panes, \"though\nnot starlight; Mr. Rochester has, on the whole, had a favourable day for\nhis journey.\"", "\"Journey!--Is Mr. Rochester gone anywhere?", "I did not know he was out.\"", "\"Oh, he set off the moment he had breakfasted!", "He is gone to the Leas,\nMr. Eshton's place, ten miles on the other side Millcote.", "I believe\nthere is quite a party assembled there; Lord Ingram, Sir George Lynn,\nColonel Dent, and others.\"", "\"Do you expect him back to-night?\"", "\"No--nor to-morrow either; I should think he is very likely to stay a\nweek or more: when these fine, fashionable people get together, they are\nso surrounded by elegance and gaiety, so well provided with all that can\nplease and entertain, they are in no hurry to separate.", "Gentlemen\nespecially are often in request on such occasions; and Mr. Rochester is\nso talented and so lively in society, that I believe he is a general\nfavourite: the ladies are very fond of him; though you would not think\nhis appearance calculated to recommend him particularly in their eyes:\nbut I suppose his acquirements and abilities, perhaps his wealth and good\nblood, make amends for any little fault of look.\"", "\"Are there ladies at the Leas?\"", "\"There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters--very elegant young ladies\nindeed; and there are the Honourable Blanche and Mary Ingram, most\nbeautiful women, I suppose: indeed I have seen Blanche, six or seven\nyears since, when she was a girl of eighteen.", "She came here to a\nChristmas ball and party Mr. Rochester gave.", "You should have seen the\ndining-room that day--how richly it was decorated, how brilliantly lit\nup!", "I should think there were fifty ladies and gentlemen present--all of\nthe first county families; and Miss Ingram was considered the belle of\nthe evening.\"", "\"You saw her, you say, Mrs. Fairfax: what was she like?\"", "\"Yes, I saw her.", "The dining-room doors were thrown open; and, as it was\nChristmas-time, the servants were allowed to assemble in the hall, to\nhear some of the ladies sing and play.", "Mr. Rochester would have me to\ncome in, and I sat down in a quiet corner and watched them.", "I never saw\na more splendid scene: the ladies were magnificently dressed; most of\nthem--at least most of the younger ones--looked handsome; but Miss Ingram\nwas certainly the queen.\"", "\"And what was she like?\"", "\"Tall, fine bust, sloping shoulders; long, graceful neck: olive\ncomplexion, dark and clear; noble features; eyes rather like Mr.\nRochester's: large and black, and as brilliant as her jewels.", "And then\nshe had such a fine head of hair; raven-black and so becomingly arranged:\na crown of thick plaits behind, and in front the longest, the glossiest\ncurls I ever saw.", "She was dressed in pure white; an amber-coloured scarf\nwas passed over her shoulder and across her breast, tied at the side, and\ndescending in long, fringed ends below her knee.", "She wore an\namber-coloured flower, too, in her hair: it contrasted well with the\njetty mass of her curls.\"", "\"She was greatly admired, of course?\"", "\"Yes, indeed: and not only for her beauty, but for her accomplishments.", "She was one of the ladies who sang: a gentleman accompanied her on the\npiano.", "She and Mr. Rochester sang a duet.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester?", "I was not aware he could sing.\"", "\"Oh!", "he has a fine bass voice, and an excellent taste for music.\"", "\"And Miss Ingram: what sort of a voice had she?\"", "\"A very rich and powerful one: she sang delightfully; it was a treat to\nlisten to her;--and she played afterwards.", "I am no judge of music, but\nMr. Rochester is; and I heard him say her execution was remarkably good.\"", "\"And this beautiful and accomplished lady, she is not yet married?\"", "\"It appears not: I fancy neither she nor her sister have very large\nfortunes.", "Old Lord Ingram's estates were chiefly entailed, and the\neldest son came in for everything almost.\"", "\"But I wonder no wealthy nobleman or gentleman has taken a fancy to her:\nMr. Rochester, for instance.", "He is rich, is he not?\"", "\"Oh!", "yes.", "But you see there is a considerable difference in age: Mr.\nRochester is nearly forty; she is but twenty-five.\"", "\"What of that?", "More unequal matches are made every day.\"", "\"True: yet I should scarcely fancy Mr. Rochester would entertain an idea\nof the sort.", "But you eat nothing: you have scarcely tasted since you\nbegan tea.\"", "\"No: I am too thirsty to eat.", "Will you let me have another cup?\"", "I was about again to revert to the probability of a union between Mr.\nRochester and the beautiful Blanche; but Adele came in, and the\nconversation was turned into another channel.", "When once more alone, I reviewed the information I had got; looked into\nmy heart, examined its thoughts and feelings, and endeavoured to bring\nback with a strict hand such as had been straying through imagination's\nboundless and trackless waste, into the safe fold of common sense.", "Arraigned at my own bar, Memory having given her evidence of the hopes,\nwishes, sentiments I had been cherishing since last night--of the general\nstate of mind in which I had indulged for nearly a fortnight past; Reason\nhaving come forward and told, in her own quiet way a plain, unvarnished\ntale, showing how I had rejected the real, and rabidly devoured the\nideal;--I pronounced judgment to this effect:--\n\nThat a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never breathed the breath of life;\nthat a more fantastic idiot had never surfeited herself on sweet lies,\nand swallowed poison as if it were nectar.", "\"_You_,\" I said, \"a favourite with Mr. Rochester?", "_You_ gifted with the\npower of pleasing him?", "_You_ of importance to him in any way?", "Go!", "your\nfolly sickens me.", "And you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens\nof preference--equivocal tokens shown by a gentleman of family and a man\nof the world to a dependent and a novice.", "How dared you?", "Poor stupid\ndupe!--Could not even self-interest make you wiser?", "You repeated to\nyourself this morning the brief scene of last night?--Cover your face and\nbe ashamed!", "He said something in praise of your eyes, did he?", "Blind\npuppy!", "Open their bleared lids and look on your own accursed\nsenselessness!", "It does good to no woman to be flattered by her superior,\nwho cannot possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women\nto let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and\nunknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and\nresponded to, must lead, _ignis-fatuus_-like, into miry wilds whence there\nis no extrication.", "\"Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: to-morrow, place the glass\nbefore you, and draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully, without\nsoftening one defect; omit no harsh line, smooth away no displeasing\nirregularity; write under it, 'Portrait of a Governess, disconnected,\npoor, and plain.'", "\"Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory--you have one prepared in your\ndrawing-box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest, clearest\ntints; choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils; delineate carefully\nthe loveliest face you can imagine; paint it in your softest shades and\nsweetest lines, according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of\nBlanche Ingram; remember the raven ringlets, the oriental eye;--What!", "you\nrevert to Mr. Rochester as a model!", "Order!", "No snivel!--no sentiment!--no\nregret!", "I will endure only sense and resolution.", "Recall the august yet\nharmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and\ndazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring\nnor gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aerial lace and\nglistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche, an\naccomplished lady of rank.'", "\"Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks\nwell of you, take out these two pictures and compare them: say, 'Mr.", "Rochester might probably win that noble lady's love, if he chose to\nstrive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this\nindigent and insignificant plebeian?'\"", "\"I'll do it,\" I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew\ncalm, and fell asleep.", "I kept my word.", "An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in\ncrayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature\nof an imaginary Blanche Ingram.", "It looked a lovely face enough, and when\ncompared with the real head in chalk, the contrast was as great as self-\ncontrol could desire.", "I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my\nhead and hands employed, and had given force and fixedness to the new\nimpressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart.", "Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome\ndiscipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit.", "Thanks to\nit, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which,\nhad they found me unprepared, I should probably have been unequal to\nmaintain, even externally." ]

[ "\"It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at\nnight.\"", "There she sat, staid and taciturn-looking, as usual, in her brown stuff\ngown, her check apron, white handkerchief, and cap.", "She appeared to be cross-questioning me, attempting to draw from me\ninformation unawares.", "The cook here turned to me, saying that Mrs. Fairfax was waiting for me:\nso I departed.", "But,\nhaving reached this point of conjecture, Mrs. Poole's square, flat\nfigure, and uncomely, dry, even coarse face, recurred so distinctly to my\nmind's eye, that I thought, \"No; impossible!", "I believe\nthere is quite a party assembled there; Lord Ingram, Sir George Lynn,\nColonel Dent, and others.\"", "yes.", "More unequal matches are made every day.\"", "Will you let me have another cup?\"", "I was about again to revert to the probability of a union between Mr.\nRochester and the beautiful Blanche; but Adele came in, and the\nconversation was turned into another channel." ]

[ "\"I have\nnever heard Mr. Rochester's voice or step in the house to-day; but surely\nI shall see him before night: I feared the meeting in the morning; now I\ndesire it, because expectation has been so long baffled that it is grown\nimpatient.\"", "Thanks to\nit, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which,\nhad they found me unprepared, I should probably have been unequal to\nmaintain, even externally.", "\"And what was she like?\"", "\"Journey!--Is Mr. Rochester gone anywhere?", "And you see, for such a\nlarge house, there are very few servants, because master has never lived\nhere much; and when he does come, being a bachelor, he needs little\nwaiting on: but I always think it best to err on the safe side; a door is\nsoon fastened, and it is as well to have a drawn bolt between one and any\nmischief that may be about.", "he has a fine bass voice, and an excellent taste for music.\"", "\"Never mind it at present: I shall be coming down before teatime: I'll\nmake it myself.\"", "You should have seen the\ndining-room that day--how richly it was decorated, how brilliantly lit\nup!", "_You_ of importance to him in any way?", "\"Oh, quite well!" ]

[ "The door remained shut;\ndarkness only came in through the window.", "Still it was not late; he\noften sent for me at seven and eight o'clock, and it was yet but six.", "Surely I should not be wholly disappointed to-night, when I had so many\nthings to say to him!", "I wanted again to introduce the subject of Grace\nPoole, and to hear what he would answer; I wanted to ask him plainly if\nhe really believed it was she who had made last night's hideous attempt;\nand if so, why he kept her wickedness a secret.", "It little mattered\nwhether my curiosity irritated him; I knew the pleasure of vexing and\nsoothing him by turns; it was one I chiefly delighted in, and a sure\ninstinct always prevented me from going too far; beyond the verge of\nprovocation I never ventured; on the extreme brink I liked well to try my\nskill.", "Retaining every minute form of respect, every propriety of my\nstation, I could still meet him in argument without fear or uneasy\nrestraint; this suited both him and me.", "A tread creaked on the stairs at last.", "Leah made her appearance; but it\nwas only to intimate that tea was ready in Mrs. Fairfax's room.", "Thither\nI repaired, glad at least to go downstairs; for that brought me, I\nimagined, nearer to Mr. Rochester's presence.", "\"You must want your tea,\" said the good lady, as I joined her; \"you ate\nso little at dinner.", "I am afraid,\" she continued, \"you are not well to-\nday: you look flushed and feverish.\"" ]

[ "\n\nI both wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on the day which followed\nthis sleepless night: I wanted to hear his voice again, yet feared to\nmeet his eye.", "During the early part of the morning, I momentarily\nexpected his coming; he was not in the frequent habit of entering the\nschoolroom, but he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and I had the\nimpression that he was sure to visit it that day.", "But the morning passed just as usual: nothing happened to interrupt the\nquiet course of Adele's studies; only soon after breakfast, I heard some\nbustle in the neighbourhood of Mr. Rochester's chamber, Mrs. Fairfax's\nvoice, and Leah's, and the cook's--that is, John's wife--and even John's\nown gruff tones.", "There were exclamations of \"What a mercy master was not\nburnt in his bed!\"", "\"It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at\nnight.\"", "\"How providential that he had presence of mind to think of the\nwater-jug!\"", "\"I wonder he waked nobody!\"", "\"It is to be hoped he will not\ntake cold with sleeping on the library sofa,\" &c.\n\nTo much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to\nrights; and when I passed the room, in going downstairs to dinner, I saw\nthrough the open door that all was again restored to complete order; only\nthe bed was stripped of its hangings.", "Leah stood up in the window-seat,\nrubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke.", "I was about to address\nher, for I wished to know what account had been given of the affair: but,\non advancing, I saw a second person in the chamber--a woman sitting on a\nchair by the bedside, and sewing rings to new curtains.", "Recall the august yet\nharmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and\ndazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring\nnor gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aerial lace and\nglistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche, an\naccomplished lady of rank.'", "\"Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks\nwell of you, take out these two pictures and compare them: say, 'Mr.", "Rochester might probably win that noble lady's love, if he chose to\nstrive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this\nindigent and insignificant plebeian?'\"", "\"I'll do it,\" I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew\ncalm, and fell asleep.", "I kept my word.", "An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in\ncrayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature\nof an imaginary Blanche Ingram.", "It looked a lovely face enough, and when\ncompared with the real head in chalk, the contrast was as great as self-\ncontrol could desire.", "I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my\nhead and hands employed, and had given force and fixedness to the new\nimpressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart.", "Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome\ndiscipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit.", "Thanks to\nit, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which,\nhad they found me unprepared, I should probably have been unequal to\nmaintain, even externally." ]

[ "\n\nA week passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Rochester: ten days, and still\nhe did not come.", "Mrs. Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he\nwere to go straight from the Leas to London, and thence to the Continent,\nand not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to come; he had not\nunfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected.", "When\nI heard this, I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the\nheart.", "I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense\nof disappointment; but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles,\nI at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got\nover the temporary blunder--how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr.\nRochester's movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital\ninterest.", "Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority:\non the contrary, I just said--\n\n\"You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further than to\nreceive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee, and to be\ngrateful for such respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your duty,\nyou have a right to expect at his hands.", "Be sure that is the only tie he\nseriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object\nof your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so forth.", "He is not\nof your order: keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish\nthe love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not\nwanted and would be despised.\"", "I went on with my day's business tranquilly; but ever and anon vague\nsuggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why I should quit\nThornfield; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering\nconjectures about new situations: these thoughts I did not think to\ncheck; they might germinate and bear fruit if they could.", "Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight, when the post\nbrought Mrs. Fairfax a letter.", "\"It is from the master,\" said she, as she looked at the direction.", "\"Now\nI suppose we shall know whether we are to expect his return or not.\"", "And while she broke the seal and perused the document, I went on taking\nmy coffee (we were at breakfast): it was hot, and I attributed to that\ncircumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose to my face.", "Why my hand\nshook, and why I involuntarily spilt half the contents of my cup into my\nsaucer, I did not choose to consider.", "\"Well, I sometimes think we are too quiet; but we run a chance of being\nbusy enough now: for a little while at least,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, still\nholding the note before her spectacles.", "Ere I permitted myself to request an explanation, I tied the string of\nAdele's pinafore, which happened to be loose: having helped her also to\nanother bun and refilled her mug with milk, I said, nonchalantly--\n\n\"Mr. Rochester is not likely to return soon, I suppose?\"", "\"Indeed he is--in three days, he says: that will be next Thursday; and\nnot alone either.", "I don't know how many of the fine people at the Leas\nare coming with him: he sends directions for all the best bedrooms to be\nprepared; and the library and drawing-rooms are to be cleaned out; I am\nto get more kitchen hands from the George Inn, at Millcote, and from\nwherever else I can; and the ladies will bring their maids and the\ngentlemen their valets: so we shall have a full house of it.\"", "And Mrs.\nFairfax swallowed her breakfast and hastened away to commence operations.", "The three days were, as she had foretold, busy enough.", "I had thought all\nthe rooms at Thornfield beautifully clean and well arranged; but it\nappears I was mistaken.", "Three women were got to help; and such\nscrubbing, such brushing, such washing of paint and beating of carpets,\nsuch taking down and putting up of pictures, such polishing of mirrors\nand lustres, such lighting of fires in bedrooms, such airing of sheets\nand feather-beds on hearths, I never beheld, either before or since.", "Adele ran quite wild in the midst of it: the preparations for company and\nthe prospect of their arrival, seemed to throw her into ecstasies.", "She\nwould have Sophie to look over all her \"toilettes,\" as she called frocks;\nto furbish up any that were \"_passees_,\" and to air and arrange the new.", "For herself, she did nothing but caper about in the front chambers, jump\non and off the bedsteads, and lie on the mattresses and piled-up bolsters\nand pillows before the enormous fires roaring in the chimneys.", "From\nschool duties she was exonerated: Mrs. Fairfax had pressed me into her\nservice, and I was all day in the storeroom, helping (or hindering) her\nand the cook; learning to make custards and cheese-cakes and French\npastry, to truss game and garnish desert-dishes.", "The party were expected to arrive on Thursday afternoon, in time for\ndinner at six.", "During the intervening period I had no time to nurse\nchimeras; and I believe I was as active and gay as anybody--Adele\nexcepted.", "Still, now and then, I received a damping check to my\ncheerfulness; and was, in spite of myself, thrown back on the region of\ndoubts and portents, and dark conjectures.", "This was when I chanced to\nsee the third-storey staircase door (which of late had always been kept\nlocked) open slowly, and give passage to the form of Grace Poole, in prim\ncap, white apron, and handkerchief; when I watched her glide along the\ngallery, her quiet tread muffled in a list slipper; when I saw her look\ninto the bustling, topsy-turvy bedrooms,--just say a word, perhaps, to\nthe charwoman about the proper way to polish a grate, or clean a marble\nmantelpiece, or take stains from papered walls, and then pass on.", "She\nwould thus descend to the kitchen once a day, eat her dinner, smoke a\nmoderate pipe on the hearth, and go back, carrying her pot of porter with\nher, for her private solace, in her own gloomy, upper haunt.", "Only one\nhour in the twenty-four did she pass with her fellow-servants below; all\nthe rest of her time was spent in some low-ceiled, oaken chamber of the\nsecond storey: there she sat and sewed--and probably laughed drearily to\nherself,--as companionless as a prisoner in his dungeon.", "The strangest thing of all was, that not a soul in the house, except me,\nnoticed her habits, or seemed to marvel at them: no one discussed her\nposition or employment; no one pitied her solitude or isolation.", "I once,\nindeed, overheard part of a dialogue between Leah and one of the\ncharwomen, of which Grace formed the subject.", "Leah had been saying\nsomething I had not caught, and the charwoman remarked--\n\n\"She gets good wages, I guess?\"", "\"Yes,\" said Leah; \"I wish I had as good; not that mine are to complain\nof,--there's no stinginess at Thornfield; but they're not one fifth of\nthe sum Mrs. Poole receives.", "And she is laying by: she goes every\nquarter to the bank at Millcote.", "I should not wonder but she has saved\nenough to keep her independent if she liked to leave; but I suppose she's\ngot used to the place; and then she's not forty yet, and strong and able\nfor anything.", "It is too soon for her to give up business.\"", "\"She is a good hand, I daresay,\" said the charwoman.", "\"Ah!--she understands what she has to do,--nobody better,\" rejoined Leah\nsignificantly; \"and it is not every one could fill her shoes--not for all\nthe money she gets.\"", "\"That it is not!\"", "was the reply.", "\"I wonder whether the master--\"\n\nThe charwoman was going on; but here Leah turned and perceived me, and\nshe instantly gave her companion a nudge.", "\"Doesn't she know?\"", "I heard the woman whisper.", "Leah shook her head, and the conversation was of course dropped.", "All I\nhad gathered from it amounted to this,--that there was a mystery at\nThornfield; and that from participation in that mystery I was purposely\nexcluded.", "Thursday came: all work had been completed the previous evening; carpets\nwere laid down, bed-hangings festooned, radiant white counterpanes\nspread, toilet tables arranged, furniture rubbed, flowers piled in vases:\nboth chambers and saloons looked as fresh and bright as hands could make\nthem.", "The hall, too, was scoured; and the great carved clock, as well as\nthe steps and banisters of the staircase, were polished to the brightness\nof glass; in the dining-room, the sideboard flashed resplendent with\nplate; in the drawing-room and boudoir, vases of exotics bloomed on all\nsides.", "Afternoon arrived: Mrs. Fairfax assumed her best black satin gown, her\ngloves, and her gold watch; for it was her part to receive the\ncompany,--to conduct the ladies to their rooms, &c. Adele, too, would be\ndressed: though I thought she had little chance of being introduced to\nthe party that day at least.", "However, to please her, I allowed Sophie to\napparel her in one of her short, full muslin frocks.", "For myself, I had\nno need to make any change; I should not be called upon to quit my\nsanctum of the schoolroom; for a sanctum it was now become to me,--\"a\nvery pleasant refuge in time of trouble.\"", "It had been a mild, serene spring day--one of those days which, towards\nthe end of March or the beginning of April, rise shining over the earth\nas heralds of summer.", "It was drawing to an end now; but the evening was\neven warm, and I sat at work in the schoolroom with the window open.", "\"It gets late,\" said Mrs. Fairfax, entering in rustling state.", "\"I am\nglad I ordered dinner an hour after the time Mr. Rochester mentioned; for\nit is past six now.", "I have sent John down to the gates to see if there\nis anything on the road: one can see a long way from thence in the\ndirection of Millcote.\"", "She went to the window.", "\"Here he is!\"", "said she.", "\"Well, John\" (leaning out), \"any news?\"", "\"They're coming, ma'am,\" was the answer.", "\"They'll be here in ten\nminutes.\"", "Adele flew to the window.", "I followed, taking care to stand on one side,\nso that, screened by the curtain, I could see without being seen.", "The ten minutes John had given seemed very long, but at last wheels were\nheard; four equestrians galloped up the drive, and after them came two\nopen carriages.", "Fluttering veils and waving plumes filled the vehicles;\ntwo of the cavaliers were young, dashing-looking gentlemen; the third was\nMr. Rochester, on his black horse, Mesrour, Pilot bounding before him; at\nhis side rode a lady, and he and she were the first of the party.", "Her\npurple riding-habit almost swept the ground, her veil streamed long on\nthe breeze; mingling with its transparent folds, and gleaming through\nthem, shone rich raven ringlets.", "\"Miss Ingram!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Fairfax, and away she hurried to her post\nbelow.", "The cavalcade, following the sweep of the drive, quickly turned the angle\nof the house, and I lost sight of it.", "Adele now petitioned to go down;\nbut I took her on my knee, and gave her to understand that she must not\non any account think of venturing in sight of the ladies, either now or\nat any other time, unless expressly sent for: that Mr. Rochester would be\nvery angry, &c. \"Some natural tears she shed\" on being told this; but as\nI began to look very grave, she consented at last to wipe them.", "A joyous stir was now audible in the hall: gentlemen's deep tones and\nladies' silvery accents blent harmoniously together, and distinguishable\nabove all, though not loud, was the sonorous voice of the master of\nThornfield Hall, welcoming his fair and gallant guests under its roof.", "Then light steps ascended the stairs; and there was a tripping through\nthe gallery, and soft cheerful laughs, and opening and closing doors,\nand, for a time, a hush.", "\"Elles changent de toilettes,\" said Adele; who, listening attentively,\nhad followed every movement; and she sighed.", "\"Chez maman,\" said she, \"quand il y avait du monde, je le suivais\npartout, au salon et a leurs chambres; souvent je regardais les femmes de\nchambre coiffer et habiller les dames, et c'etait si amusant: comme cela\non apprend.\"", "\"Don't you feel hungry, Adele?\"", "\"Mais oui, mademoiselle: voila cinq ou six heures que nous n'avons pas\nmange.\"", "\"Well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, I will venture down and\nget you something to eat.\"", "And issuing from my asylum with precaution, I sought a back-stairs which\nconducted directly to the kitchen.", "All in that region was fire and\ncommotion; the soup and fish were in the last stage of projection, and\nthe cook hung over her crucibles in a frame of mind and body threatening\nspontaneous combustion.", "In the servants' hall two coachmen and three\ngentlemen's gentlemen stood or sat round the fire; the abigails, I\nsuppose, were upstairs with their mistresses; the new servants, that had\nbeen hired from Millcote, were bustling about everywhere.", "Threading this\nchaos, I at last reached the larder; there I took possession of a cold\nchicken, a roll of bread, some tarts, a plate or two and a knife and\nfork: with this booty I made a hasty retreat.", "I had regained the\ngallery, and was just shutting the back-door behind me, when an\naccelerated hum warned me that the ladies were about to issue from their\nchambers.", "I could not proceed to the schoolroom without passing some of\ntheir doors, and running the risk of being surprised with my cargo of\nvictualage; so I stood still at this end, which, being windowless, was\ndark: quite dark now, for the sun was set and twilight gathering.", "Presently the chambers gave up their fair tenants one after another: each\ncame out gaily and airily, with dress that gleamed lustrous through the\ndusk.", "For a moment they stood grouped together at the other extremity of\nthe gallery, conversing in a key of sweet subdued vivacity: they then\ndescended the staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright mist rolls down\na hill.", "Their collective appearance had left on me an impression of high-\nborn elegance, such as I had never before received.", "I found Adele peeping through the schoolroom door, which she held ajar.", "\"What beautiful ladies!\"", "cried she in English.", "\"Oh, I wish I might go to\nthem!", "Do you think Mr. Rochester will send for us by-and-bye, after\ndinner?\"", "\"No, indeed, I don't; Mr. Rochester has something else to think about.", "Never mind the ladies to-night; perhaps you will see them to-morrow: here\nis your dinner.\"", "She was really hungry, so the chicken and tarts served to divert her\nattention for a time.", "It was well I secured this forage, or both she, I,\nand Sophie, to whom I conveyed a share of our repast, would have run a\nchance of getting no dinner at all: every one downstairs was too much\nengaged to think of us.", "The dessert was not carried out till after nine\nand at ten footmen were still running to and fro with trays and coffee-\ncups.", "I allowed Adele to sit up much later than usual; for she declared\nshe could not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening and\nshutting below, and people bustling about.", "Besides, she added, a message\nmight possibly come from Mr. Rochester when she was undressed; \"et alors\nquel dommage!\"", "I told her stories as long as she would listen to them; and then for a\nchange I took her out into the gallery.", "The hall lamp was now lit, and\nit amused her to look over the balustrade and watch the servants passing\nbackwards and forwards.", "When the evening was far advanced, a sound of\nmusic issued from the drawing-room, whither the piano had been removed;\nAdele and I sat down on the top step of the stairs to listen.", "Presently\na voice blent with the rich tones of the instrument; it was a lady who\nsang, and very sweet her notes were.", "The solo over, a duet followed, and\nthen a glee: a joyous conversational murmur filled up the intervals.", "I\nlistened long: suddenly I discovered that my ear was wholly intent on\nanalysing the mingled sounds, and trying to discriminate amidst the\nconfusion of accents those of Mr. Rochester; and when it caught them,\nwhich it soon did, it found a further task in framing the tones, rendered\nby distance inarticulate, into words.", "The clock struck eleven.", "I looked at Adele, whose head leant against my\nshoulder; her eyes were waxing heavy, so I took her up in my arms and\ncarried her off to bed.", "It was near one before the gentlemen and ladies\nsought their chambers.", "The next day was as fine as its predecessor: it was devoted by the party\nto an excursion to some site in the neighbourhood.", "They set out early in\nthe forenoon, some on horseback, the rest in carriages; I witnessed both\nthe departure and the return.", "Miss Ingram, as before, was the only lady\nequestrian; and, as before, Mr. Rochester galloped at her side; the two\nrode a little apart from the rest.", "I pointed out this circumstance to\nMrs. Fairfax, who was standing at the window with me--\n\n\"You said it was not likely they should think of being married,\" said I,\n\"but you see Mr. Rochester evidently prefers her to any of the other\nladies.\"", "\"Yes, I daresay: no doubt he admires her.\"", "\"And she him,\" I added; \"look how she leans her head towards him as if\nshe were conversing confidentially; I wish I could see her face; I have\nnever had a glimpse of it yet.\"", "\"You will see her this evening,\" answered Mrs. Fairfax.", "\"I happened to\nremark to Mr. Rochester how much Adele wished to be introduced to the\nladies, and he said: 'Oh!", "let her come into the drawing-room after\ndinner; and request Miss Eyre to accompany her.'\"", "\"Yes; he said that from mere politeness: I need not go, I am sure,\" I\nanswered.", "\"Well, I observed to him that as you were unused to company, I did not\nthink you would like appearing before so gay a party--all strangers; and\nhe replied, in his quick way--'Nonsense!", "If she objects, tell her it is\nmy particular wish; and if she resists, say I shall come and fetch her in\ncase of contumacy.'\"", "\"I will not give him that trouble,\" I answered.", "\"I will go, if no better\nmay be; but I don't like it.", "Shall you be there, Mrs.", "Fairfax?\"", "\"No; I pleaded off, and he admitted my plea.", "I'll tell you how to manage\nso as to avoid the embarrassment of making a formal entrance, which is\nthe most disagreeable part of the business.", "You must go into the drawing-\nroom while it is empty, before the ladies leave the dinner-table; choose\nyour seat in any quiet nook you like; you need not stay long after the\ngentlemen come in, unless you please: just let Mr. Rochester see you are\nthere and then slip away--nobody will notice you.\"", "\"Will these people remain long, do you think?\"", "\"Perhaps two or three weeks, certainly not more.", "After the Easter\nrecess, Sir George Lynn, who was lately elected member for Millcote, will\nhave to go up to town and take his seat; I daresay Mr. Rochester will\naccompany him: it surprises me that he has already made so protracted a\nstay at Thornfield.\"", "It was with some trepidation that I perceived the hour approach when I\nwas to repair with my charge to the drawing-room.", "Adele had been in a\nstate of ecstasy all day, after hearing she was to be presented to the\nladies in the evening; and it was not till Sophie commenced the operation\nof dressing her that she sobered down.", "Then the importance of the\nprocess quickly steadied her, and by the time she had her curls arranged\nin well-smoothed, drooping clusters, her pink satin frock put on, her\nlong sash tied, and her lace mittens adjusted, she looked as grave as any\njudge.", "No need to warn her not to disarrange her attire: when she was\ndressed, she sat demurely down in her little chair, taking care\npreviously to lift up the satin skirt for fear she should crease it, and\nassured me she would not stir thence till I was ready.", "This I quickly\nwas: my best dress (the silver-grey one, purchased for Miss Temple's\nwedding, and never worn since) was soon put on; my hair was soon\nsmoothed; my sole ornament, the pearl brooch, soon assumed.", "We\ndescended.", "Fortunately there was another entrance to the drawing-room than that\nthrough the saloon where they were all seated at dinner.", "We found the\napartment vacant; a large fire burning silently on the marble hearth, and\nwax candles shining in bright solitude, amid the exquisite flowers with\nwhich the tables were adorned.", "The crimson curtain hung before the arch:\nslight as was the separation this drapery formed from the party in the\nadjoining saloon, they spoke in so low a key that nothing of their\nconversation could be distinguished beyond a soothing murmur.", "Adele, who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising\nimpression, sat down, without a word, on the footstool I pointed out to\nher.", "I retired to a window-seat, and taking a book from a table near,\nendeavoured to read.", "Adele brought her stool to my feet; ere long she\ntouched my knee.", "\"What is it, Adele?\"", "\"Est-ce que je ne puis pas prendrie une seule de ces fleurs magnifiques,\nmademoiselle?", "Seulement pour completer ma toilette.\"", "\"You think too much of your 'toilette,' Adele: but you may have a\nflower.\"", "And I took a rose from a vase and fastened it in her sash.", "She\nsighed a sigh of ineffable satisfaction, as if her cup of happiness were\nnow full.", "I turned my face away to conceal a smile I could not suppress:\nthere was something ludicrous as well as painful in the little\nParisienne's earnest and innate devotion to matters of dress.", "A soft sound of rising now became audible; the curtain was swept back\nfrom the arch; through it appeared the dining-room, with its lit lustre\npouring down light on the silver and glass of a magnificent\ndessert-service covering a long table; a band of ladies stood in the\nopening; they entered, and the curtain fell behind them.", "There were but eight; yet, somehow, as they flocked in, they gave the\nimpression of a much larger number.", "Some of them were very tall; many\nwere dressed in white; and all had a sweeping amplitude of array that\nseemed to magnify their persons as a mist magnifies the moon.", "I rose and\ncurtseyed to them: one or two bent their heads in return, the others only\nstared at me.", "They dispersed about the room, reminding me, by the lightness and\nbuoyancy of their movements, of a flock of white plumy birds.", "Some of\nthem threw themselves in half-reclining positions on the sofas and\nottomans: some bent over the tables and examined the flowers and books:\nthe rest gathered in a group round the fire: all talked in a low but\nclear tone which seemed habitual to them.", "I knew their names afterwards,\nand may as well mention them now.", "First, there was Mrs. Eshton and two of her daughters.", "She had evidently\nbeen a handsome woman, and was well preserved still.", "Of her daughters,\nthe eldest, Amy, was rather little: naive, and child-like in face and\nmanner, and piquant in form; her white muslin dress and blue sash became\nher well.", "The second, Louisa, was taller and more elegant in figure;\nwith a very pretty face, of that order the French term _minois chiffone_:\nboth sisters were fair as lilies.", "Lady Lynn was a large and stout personage of about forty, very erect,\nvery haughty-looking, richly dressed in a satin robe of changeful sheen:\nher dark hair shone glossily under the shade of an azure plume, and\nwithin the circlet of a band of gems.", "Mrs.", "Colonel Dent was less showy; but, I thought, more lady-like.", "She\nhad a slight figure, a pale, gentle face, and fair hair.", "Her black satin\ndress, her scarf of rich foreign lace, and her pearl ornaments, pleased\nme better than the rainbow radiance of the titled dame.", "But the three most distinguished--partly, perhaps, because the tallest\nfigures of the band--were the Dowager Lady Ingram and her daughters,\nBlanche and Mary.", "They were all three of the loftiest stature of women.", "The Dowager might be between forty and fifty: her shape was still fine;\nher hair (by candle-light at least) still black; her teeth, too, were\nstill apparently perfect.", "Most people would have termed her a splendid\nwoman of her age: and so she was, no doubt, physically speaking; but then\nthere was an expression of almost insupportable haughtiness in her\nbearing and countenance.", "She had Roman features and a double chin,\ndisappearing into a throat like a pillar: these features appeared to me\nnot only inflated and darkened, but even furrowed with pride; and the\nchin was sustained by the same principle, in a position of almost\npreternatural erectness.", "She had, likewise, a fierce and a hard eye: it\nreminded me of Mrs. Reed's; she mouthed her words in speaking; her voice\nwas deep, its inflections very pompous, very dogmatical,--very\nintolerable, in short.", "A crimson velvet robe, and a shawl turban of some\ngold-wrought Indian fabric, invested her (I suppose she thought) with a\ntruly imperial dignity.", "Blanche and Mary were of equal stature,--straight and tall as poplars.", "Mary was too slim for her height, but Blanche was moulded like a Dian.", "I\nregarded her, of course, with special interest.", "First, I wished to see\nwhether her appearance accorded with Mrs. Fairfax's description;\nsecondly, whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature I had painted\nof her; and thirdly--it will out!--whether it were such as I should fancy\nlikely to suit Mr. Rochester's taste.", "As far as person went, she answered point for point, both to my picture\nand Mrs. Fairfax's description.", "The noble bust, the sloping shoulders,\nthe graceful neck, the dark eyes and black ringlets were all there;--but\nher face?", "Her face was like her mother's; a youthful unfurrowed\nlikeness: the same low brow, the same high features, the same pride.", "It\nwas not, however, so saturnine a pride!", "she laughed continually; her\nlaugh was satirical, and so was the habitual expression of her arched and\nhaughty lip.", "Genius is said to be self-conscious.", "I cannot tell whether Miss Ingram\nwas a genius, but she was self-conscious--remarkably self-conscious\nindeed.", "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "It seemed Mrs. Dent had not studied that science: though, as she\nsaid, she liked flowers, \"especially wild ones;\" Miss Ingram had, and she\nran over its vocabulary with an air.", "I presently perceived she was (what\nis vernacularly termed) _trailing_ Mrs. Dent; that is, playing on her\nignorance--her _trail_ might be clever, but it was decidedly not good-\nnatured.", "She played: her execution was brilliant; she sang: her voice\nwas fine; she talked French apart to her mamma; and she talked it well,\nwith fluency and with a good accent.", "Mary had a milder and more open countenance than Blanche; softer features\ntoo, and a skin some shades fairer (Miss Ingram was dark as a\nSpaniard)--but Mary was deficient in life: her face lacked expression,\nher eye lustre; she had nothing to say, and having once taken her seat,\nremained fixed like a statue in its niche.", "The sisters were both attired\nin spotless white.", "And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice as Mr. Rochester would be\nlikely to make?", "I could not tell--I did not know his taste in female\nbeauty.", "If he liked the majestic, she was the very type of majesty: then\nshe was accomplished, sprightly.", "Most gentlemen would admire her, I\nthought; and that he _did_ admire her, I already seemed to have obtained\nproof: to remove the last shade of doubt, it remained but to see them\ntogether.", "You are not to suppose, reader, that Adele has all this time been sitting\nmotionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the ladies entered, she\nrose, advanced to meet them, made a stately reverence, and said with\ngravity--\n\n\"Bon jour, mesdames.\"", "And Miss Ingram had looked down at her with a mocking air, and exclaimed,\n\"Oh, what a little puppet!\"", "Lady Lynn had remarked, \"It is Mr. Rochester's ward, I suppose--the\nlittle French girl he was speaking of.\"", "Mrs. Dent had kindly taken her hand, and given her a kiss.", "Amy and Louisa Eshton had cried out simultaneously--\"What a love of a\nchild!\"", "And then they had called her to a sofa, where she now sat, ensconced\nbetween them, chattering alternately in French and broken English;\nabsorbing not only the young ladies' attention, but that of Mrs. Eshton\nand Lady Lynn, and getting spoilt to her heart's content.", "At last coffee is brought in, and the gentlemen are summoned.", "I sit in\nthe shade--if any shade there be in this brilliantly-lit apartment; the\nwindow-curtain half hides me.", "Again the arch yawns; they come.", "The\ncollective appearance of the gentlemen, like that of the ladies, is very\nimposing: they are all costumed in black; most of them are tall, some\nyoung.", "Henry and Frederick Lynn are very dashing sparks indeed; and\nColonel Dent is a fine soldierly man.", "Mr. Eshton, the magistrate of the\ndistrict, is gentleman-like: his hair is quite white, his eyebrows and\nwhiskers still dark, which gives him something of the appearance of a\n\"pere noble de theatre.\"", "Lord Ingram, like his sisters, is very tall;\nlike them, also, he is handsome; but he shares Mary's apathetic and\nlistless look: he seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of\nblood or vigour of brain.", "And where is Mr. Rochester?", "He comes in last: I am not looking at the arch, yet I see him enter.", "I\ntry to concentrate my attention on those netting-needles, on the meshes\nof the purse I am forming--I wish to think only of the work I have in my\nhands, to see only the silver beads and silk threads that lie in my lap;\nwhereas, I distinctly behold his figure, and I inevitably recall the\nmoment when I last saw it; just after I had rendered him, what he deemed,\nan essential service, and he, holding my hand, and looking down on my\nface, surveyed me with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to\noverflow; in whose emotions I had a part.", "How near had I approached him\nat that moment!", "What had occurred since, calculated to change his and my\nrelative positions?", "Yet now, how distant, how far estranged we were!", "So\nfar estranged, that I did not expect him to come and speak to me.", "I did\nnot wonder, when, without looking at me, he took a seat at the other side\nof the room, and began conversing with some of the ladies.", "No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on them, and that I\nmight gaze without being observed, than my eyes were drawn involuntarily\nto his face; I could not keep their lids under control: they would rise,\nand the irids would fix on him.", "I looked, and had an acute pleasure in\nlooking,--a precious yet poignant pleasure; pure gold, with a steely\npoint of agony: a pleasure like what the thirst-perishing man might feel\nwho knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and\ndrinks divine draughts nevertheless.", "Most true is it that \"beauty is in the eye of the gazer.\"", "My master's\ncolourless, olive face, square, massive brow, broad and jetty eyebrows,\ndeep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth,--all energy, decision,\nwill,--were not beautiful, according to rule; but they were more than\nbeautiful to me; they were full of an interest, an influence that quite\nmastered me,--that took my feelings from my own power and fettered them\nin his.", "I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought\nhard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now,\nat the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously arrived, green and\nstrong!", "He made me love him without looking at me.", "I compared him with his guests.", "What was the gallant grace of the Lynns,\nthe languid elegance of Lord Ingram,--even the military distinction of\nColonel Dent, contrasted with his look of native pith and genuine power?", "I had no sympathy in their appearance, their expression: yet I could\nimagine that most observers would call them attractive, handsome,\nimposing; while they would pronounce Mr. Rochester at once harsh-featured\nand melancholy-looking.", "I saw them smile, laugh--it was nothing; the\nlight of the candles had as much soul in it as their smile; the tinkle of\nthe bell as much significance as their laugh.", "I saw Mr. Rochester\nsmile:--his stern features softened; his eye grew both brilliant and\ngentle, its ray both searching and sweet.", "He was talking, at the moment,\nto Louisa and Amy Eshton.", "I wondered to see them receive with calm that\nlook which seemed to me so penetrating: I expected their eyes to fall,\ntheir colour to rise under it; yet I was glad when I found they were in\nno sense moved.", "\"He is not to them what he is to me,\" I thought: \"he is\nnot of their kind.", "I believe he is of mine;--I am sure he is--I feel\nakin to him--I understand the language of his countenance and movements:\nthough rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and\nheart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.", "Did\nI say, a few days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to receive\nmy salary at his hands?", "Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other\nlight than as a paymaster?", "Blasphemy against nature!", "Every good, true,\nvigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively round him.", "I know I must\nconceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must remember that he\ncannot care much for me.", "For when I say that I am of his kind, I do not\nmean that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean\nonly that I have certain tastes and feelings in common with him.", "I must,\nthen, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:--and yet, while I\nbreathe and think, I must love him.\"", "Coffee is handed.", "The ladies, since the gentlemen entered, have become\nlively as larks; conversation waxes brisk and merry.", "Colonel Dent and\nMr. Eshton argue on politics; their wives listen.", "The two proud\ndowagers, Lady Lynn and Lady Ingram, confabulate together.", "Sir\nGeorge--whom, by-the-bye, I have forgotten to describe,--a very big, and\nvery fresh-looking country gentleman, stands before their sofa, coffee-\ncup in hand, and occasionally puts in a word.", "Mr. Frederick Lynn has\ntaken a seat beside Mary Ingram, and is showing her the engravings of a\nsplendid volume: she looks, smiles now and then, but apparently says\nlittle.", "The tall and phlegmatic Lord Ingram leans with folded arms on\nthe chair-back of the little and lively Amy Eshton; she glances up at\nhim, and chatters like a wren: she likes him better than she does Mr.\nRochester.", "Henry Lynn has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet of\nLouisa: Adele shares it with him: he is trying to talk French with her,\nand Louisa laughs at his blunders.", "With whom will Blanche Ingram pair?", "She is standing alone at the table, bending gracefully over an album.", "She\nseems waiting to be sought; but she will not wait too long: she herself\nselects a mate.", "Mr. Rochester, having quitted the Eshtons, stands on the hearth as\nsolitary as she stands by the table: she confronts him, taking her\nstation on the opposite side of the mantelpiece.", "\"Mr. Rochester, I thought you were not fond of children?\"", "\"Nor am I.\"", "\"Then, what induced you to take charge of such a little doll as that?\"", "(pointing to Adele).", "\"Where did you pick her up?\"", "\"I did not pick her up; she was left on my hands.\"", "\"You should have sent her to school.\"", "\"I could not afford it: schools are so dear.\"", "\"Why, I suppose you have a governess for her: I saw a person with her\njust now--is she gone?", "Oh, no!", "there she is still, behind the window-\ncurtain.", "You pay her, of course; I should think it quite as\nexpensive,--more so; for you have them both to keep in addition.\"", "I feared--or should I say, hoped?--the allusion to me would make Mr.\nRochester glance my way; and I involuntarily shrank farther into the\nshade: but he never turned his eyes.", "\"I have not considered the subject,\" said he indifferently, looking\nstraight before him.", "\"No, you men never do consider economy and common sense.", "You should hear\nmama on the chapter of governesses: Mary and I have had, I should think,\na dozen at least in our day; half of them detestable and the rest\nridiculous, and all incubi--were they not, mama?\"", "\"Did you speak, my own?\"", "The young lady thus claimed as the dowager's special property, reiterated\nher question with an explanation.", "\"My dearest, don't mention governesses; the word makes me nervous.", "I\nhave suffered a martyrdom from their incompetency and caprice.", "I thank\nHeaven I have now done with them!\"", "Mrs. Dent here bent over to the pious lady and whispered something in her\near; I suppose, from the answer elicited, it was a reminder that one of\nthe anathematised race was present.", "\"Tant pis!\"", "said her Ladyship, \"I hope it may do her good!\"", "Then, in a\nlower tone, but still loud enough for me to hear, \"I noticed her; I am a\njudge of physiognomy, and in hers I see all the faults of her class.\"", "\"What are they, madam?\"", "inquired Mr. Rochester aloud.", "\"I will tell you in your private ear,\" replied she, wagging her turban\nthree times with portentous significancy.", "\"But my curiosity will be past its appetite; it craves food now.\"", "\"Ask Blanche; she is nearer you than I.\"", "\"Oh, don't refer him to me, mama!", "I have just one word to say of the\nwhole tribe; they are a nuisance.", "Not that I ever suffered much from\nthem; I took care to turn the tables.", "What tricks Theodore and I used to\nplay on our Miss Wilsons, and Mrs. Greys, and Madame Jouberts!", "Mary was\nalways too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit.", "The best fun was with\nMadame Joubert: Miss Wilson was a poor sickly thing, lachrymose and low-\nspirited, not worth the trouble of vanquishing, in short; and Mrs. Grey\nwas coarse and insensible; no blow took effect on her.", "But poor Madame\nJoubert!", "I see her yet in her raging passions, when we had driven her to\nextremities--spilt our tea, crumbled our bread and butter, tossed our\nbooks up to the ceiling, and played a charivari with the ruler and desk,\nthe fender and fire-irons.", "Theodore, do you remember those merry days?\"", "\"Yaas, to be sure I do,\" drawled Lord Ingram; \"and the poor old stick\nused to cry out 'Oh you villains childs!'", "--and then we sermonised her on\nthe presumption of attempting to teach such clever blades as we were,\nwhen she was herself so ignorant.\"", "\"We did; and, Tedo, you know, I helped you in prosecuting (or\npersecuting) your tutor, whey-faced Mr. Vining--the parson in the pip, as\nwe used to call him.", "He and Miss Wilson took the liberty of falling in\nlove with each other--at least Tedo and I thought so; we surprised sundry\ntender glances and sighs which we interpreted as tokens of 'la belle\npassion,' and I promise you the public soon had the benefit of our\ndiscovery; we employed it as a sort of lever to hoist our dead-weights\nfrom the house.", "Dear mama, there, as soon as she got an inkling of the\nbusiness, found out that it was of an immoral tendency.", "Did you not, my\nlady-mother?\"", "\"Certainly, my best.", "And I was quite right: depend on that: there are a\nthousand reasons why liaisons between governesses and tutors should never\nbe tolerated a moment in any well-regulated house; firstly--\"\n\n\"Oh, gracious, mama!", "Spare us the enumeration!", "_Au reste_, we all know\nthem: danger of bad example to innocence of childhood; distractions and\nconsequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached--mutual alliance\nand reliance; confidence thence resulting--insolence accompanying--mutiny\nand general blow-up.", "Am I right, Baroness Ingram, of Ingram Park?\"", "\"My lily-flower, you are right now, as always.\"", "\"Then no more need be said: change the subject.\"", "Amy Eshton, not hearing or not heeding this dictum, joined in with her\nsoft, infantine tone: \"Louisa and I used to quiz our governess too; but\nshe was such a good creature, she would bear anything: nothing put her\nout.", "She was never cross with us; was she, Louisa?\"", "\"No, never: we might do what we pleased; ransack her desk and her\nworkbox, and turn her drawers inside out; and she was so good-natured,\nshe would give us anything we asked for.\"", "\"I suppose, now,\" said Miss Ingram, curling her lip sarcastically, \"we\nshall have an abstract of the memoirs of all the governesses extant: in\norder to avert such a visitation, I again move the introduction of a new\ntopic.", "Mr. Rochester, do you second my motion?\"", "\"Madam, I support you on this point, as on every other.\"", "\"Then on me be the onus of bringing it forward.", "Signior Eduardo, are you\nin voice to-night?\"", "\"Donna Bianca, if you command it, I will be.\"", "\"Then, signior, I lay on you my sovereign behest to furbish up your lungs\nand other vocal organs, as they will be wanted on my royal service.\"", "\"Who would not be the Rizzio of so divine a Mary?\"", "\"A fig for Rizzio!\"", "cried she, tossing her head with all its curls, as\nshe moved to the piano.", "\"It is my opinion the fiddler David must have\nbeen an insipid sort of fellow; I like black Bothwell better: to my mind\na man is nothing without a spice of the devil in him; and history may say\nwhat it will of James Hepburn, but I have a notion, he was just the sort\nof wild, fierce, bandit hero whom I could have consented to gift with my\nhand.\"", "\"Gentlemen, you hear!", "Now which of you most resembles Bothwell?\"", "cried\nMr. Rochester.", "\"I should say the preference lies with you,\" responded Colonel Dent.", "\"On my honour, I am much obliged to you,\" was the reply.", "Miss Ingram, who had now seated herself with proud grace at the piano,\nspreading out her snowy robes in queenly amplitude, commenced a brilliant\nprelude; talking meantime.", "She appeared to be on her high horse\nto-night; both her words and her air seemed intended to excite not only\nthe admiration, but the amazement of her auditors: she was evidently bent\non striking them as something very dashing and daring indeed.", "\"Oh, I am so sick of the young men of the present day!\"", "exclaimed she,\nrattling away at the instrument.", "\"Poor, puny things, not fit to stir a\nstep beyond papa's park gates: nor to go even so far without mama's\npermission and guardianship!", "Creatures so absorbed in care about their\npretty faces, and their white hands, and their small feet; as if a man\nhad anything to do with beauty!", "As if loveliness were not the special\nprerogative of woman--her legitimate appanage and heritage!", "I grant an\nugly _woman_ is a blot on the fair face of creation; but as to the\n_gentlemen_, let them be solicitous to possess only strength and valour:\nlet their motto be:--Hunt, shoot, and fight: the rest is not worth a\nfillip.", "Such should be my device, were I a man.\"", "\"Whenever I marry,\" she continued after a pause which none interrupted,\n\"I am resolved my husband shall not be a rival, but a foil to me.", "I will\nsuffer no competitor near the throne; I shall exact an undivided homage:\nhis devotions shall not be shared between me and the shape he sees in his\nmirror.", "Mr. Rochester, now sing, and I will play for you.\"", "\"I am all obedience,\" was the response.", "\"Here then is a Corsair-song.", "Know that I doat on Corsairs; and for that\nreason, sing it _con spirito_.\"", "\"Commands from Miss Ingram's lips would put spirit into a mug of milk and\nwater.\"", "\"Take care, then: if you don't please me, I will shame you by showing how\nsuch things _should_ be done.\"", "\"That is offering a premium on incapacity: I shall now endeavour to\nfail.\"", "\"Gardez-vous en bien!", "If you err wilfully, I shall devise a\nproportionate punishment.\"", "\"Miss Ingram ought to be clement, for she has it in her power to inflict\na chastisement beyond mortal endurance.\"", "\"Ha!", "explain!\"", "commanded the lady.", "\"Pardon me, madam: no need of explanation; your own fine sense must\ninform you that one of your frowns would be a sufficient substitute for\ncapital punishment.\"", "\"Sing!\"", "said she, and again touching the piano, she commenced an\naccompaniment in spirited style.", "\"Now is my time to slip away,\" thought I: but the tones that then severed\nthe air arrested me.", "Mrs. Fairfax had said Mr. Rochester possessed a\nfine voice: he did--a mellow, powerful bass, into which he threw his own\nfeeling, his own force; finding a way through the ear to the heart, and\nthere waking sensation strangely.", "I waited till the last deep and full\nvibration had expired--till the tide of talk, checked an instant, had\nresumed its flow; I then quitted my sheltered corner and made my exit by\nthe side-door, which was fortunately near.", "Thence a narrow passage led\ninto the hall: in crossing it, I perceived my sandal was loose; I stopped\nto tie it, kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the foot of the\nstaircase.", "I heard the dining-room door unclose; a gentleman came out;\nrising hastily, I stood face to face with him: it was Mr. Rochester.", "\"How do you do?\"", "he asked.", "\"I am very well, sir.\"", "\"Why did you not come and speak to me in the room?\"", "I thought I might have retorted the question on him who put it: but I\nwould not take that freedom.", "I answered--\n\n\"I did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir.\"", "\"What have you been doing during my absence?\"", "\"Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.\"", "\"And getting a good deal paler than you were--as I saw at first sight.", "What is the matter?\"", "\"Nothing at all, sir.\"", "\"Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?\"", "\"Not the least.\"", "\"Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early.\"", "\"I am tired, sir.\"", "He looked at me for a minute.", "\"And a little depressed,\" he said.", "\"What about?", "Tell me.\"", "\"Nothing--nothing, sir.", "I am not depressed.\"", "\"But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would\nbring tears to your eyes--indeed, they are there now, shining and\nswimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag.", "If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a\nservant passing, I would know what all this means.", "Well, to-night I\nexcuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you\nto appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect\nit.", "Now go, and send Sophie for Adele.", "Good-night, my--\" He stopped,\nbit his lip, and abruptly left me." ]

[ "\"Well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, I will venture down and\nget you something to eat.\"", "I told her stories as long as she would listen to them; and then for a\nchange I took her out into the gallery.", "let her come into the drawing-room after\ndinner; and request Miss Eyre to accompany her.'\"", "\"No; I pleaded off, and he admitted my plea.", "There were but eight; yet, somehow, as they flocked in, they gave the\nimpression of a much larger number.", "The Dowager might be between forty and fifty: her shape was still fine;\nher hair (by candle-light at least) still black; her teeth, too, were\nstill apparently perfect.", "You are not to suppose, reader, that Adele has all this time been sitting\nmotionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the ladies entered, she\nrose, advanced to meet them, made a stately reverence, and said with\ngravity--\n\n\"Bon jour, mesdames.\"", "So\nfar estranged, that I did not expect him to come and speak to me.", "He and Miss Wilson took the liberty of falling in\nlove with each other--at least Tedo and I thought so; we surprised sundry\ntender glances and sighs which we interpreted as tokens of 'la belle\npassion,' and I promise you the public soon had the benefit of our\ndiscovery; we employed it as a sort of lever to hoist our dead-weights\nfrom the house.", "\"And a little depressed,\" he said." ]

[ "\"Where did you pick her up?\"", "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "And Miss Ingram had looked down at her with a mocking air, and exclaimed,\n\"Oh, what a little puppet!\"", "Henry and Frederick Lynn are very dashing sparks indeed; and\nColonel Dent is a fine soldierly man.", "I pointed out this circumstance to\nMrs. Fairfax, who was standing at the window with me--\n\n\"You said it was not likely they should think of being married,\" said I,\n\"but you see Mr. Rochester evidently prefers her to any of the other\nladies.\"", "\"Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.\"", "Blasphemy against nature!", "Again the arch yawns; they come.", "If she objects, tell her it is\nmy particular wish; and if she resists, say I shall come and fetch her in\ncase of contumacy.'\"", "Now go, and send Sophie for Adele." ]

[ "She entered into a discourse on botany with the gentle Mrs.\nDent.", "It seemed Mrs. Dent had not studied that science: though, as she\nsaid, she liked flowers, \"especially wild ones;\" Miss Ingram had, and she\nran over its vocabulary with an air.", "I presently perceived she was (what\nis vernacularly termed) _trailing_ Mrs. Dent; that is, playing on her\nignorance--her _trail_ might be clever, but it was decidedly not good-\nnatured.", "She played: her execution was brilliant; she sang: her voice\nwas fine; she talked French apart to her mamma; and she talked it well,\nwith fluency and with a good accent.", "Mary had a milder and more open countenance than Blanche; softer features\ntoo, and a skin some shades fairer (Miss Ingram was dark as a\nSpaniard)--but Mary was deficient in life: her face lacked expression,\nher eye lustre; she had nothing to say, and having once taken her seat,\nremained fixed like a statue in its niche.", "The sisters were both attired\nin spotless white.", "And did I now think Miss Ingram such a choice as Mr. Rochester would be\nlikely to make?", "I could not tell--I did not know his taste in female\nbeauty.", "If he liked the majestic, she was the very type of majesty: then\nshe was accomplished, sprightly.", "Most gentlemen would admire her, I\nthought; and that he _did_ admire her, I already seemed to have obtained\nproof: to remove the last shade of doubt, it remained but to see them\ntogether.", "You are not to suppose, reader, that Adele has all this time been sitting\nmotionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the ladies entered, she\nrose, advanced to meet them, made a stately reverence, and said with\ngravity--\n\n\"Bon jour, mesdames.\"" ]

[ "\n\nA week passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Rochester: ten days, and still\nhe did not come.", "Mrs. Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he\nwere to go straight from the Leas to London, and thence to the Continent,\nand not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to come; he had not\nunfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected.", "When\nI heard this, I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the\nheart.", "I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense\nof disappointment; but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles,\nI at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got\nover the temporary blunder--how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr.\nRochester's movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital\ninterest.", "Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority:\non the contrary, I just said--\n\n\"You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further than to\nreceive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee, and to be\ngrateful for such respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your duty,\nyou have a right to expect at his hands.", "Be sure that is the only tie he\nseriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object\nof your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies, and so forth.", "He is not\nof your order: keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to lavish\nthe love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not\nwanted and would be despised.\"", "I went on with my day's business tranquilly; but ever and anon vague\nsuggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why I should quit\nThornfield; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering\nconjectures about new situations: these thoughts I did not think to\ncheck; they might germinate and bear fruit if they could.", "Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight, when the post\nbrought Mrs. Fairfax a letter.", "\"It is from the master,\" said she, as she looked at the direction.", "\"And a little depressed,\" he said.", "\"What about?", "Tell me.\"", "\"Nothing--nothing, sir.", "I am not depressed.\"", "\"But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would\nbring tears to your eyes--indeed, they are there now, shining and\nswimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on to the flag.", "If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a\nservant passing, I would know what all this means.", "Well, to-night I\nexcuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you\nto appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect\nit.", "Now go, and send Sophie for Adele.", "Good-night, my--\" He stopped,\nbit his lip, and abruptly left me." ]

[ "\n\nMerry days were these at Thornfield Hall; and busy days too: how\ndifferent from the first three months of stillness, monotony, and\nsolitude I had passed beneath its roof!", "All sad feelings seemed now\ndriven from the house, all gloomy associations forgotten: there was life\neverywhere, movement all day long.", "You could not now traverse the\ngallery, once so hushed, nor enter the front chambers, once so\ntenantless, without encountering a smart lady's-maid or a dandy valet.", "The kitchen, the butler's pantry, the servants' hall, the entrance hall,\nwere equally alive; and the saloons were only left void and still when\nthe blue sky and halcyon sunshine of the genial spring weather called\ntheir occupants out into the grounds.", "Even when that weather was broken,\nand continuous rain set in for some days, no damp seemed cast over\nenjoyment: indoor amusements only became more lively and varied, in\nconsequence of the stop put to outdoor gaiety.", "I wondered what they were going to do the first evening a change of\nentertainment was proposed: they spoke of \"playing charades,\" but in my\nignorance I did not understand the term.", "The servants were called in,\nthe dining-room tables wheeled away, the lights otherwise disposed, the\nchairs placed in a semicircle opposite the arch.", "While Mr. Rochester and\nthe other gentlemen directed these alterations, the ladies were running\nup and down stairs ringing for their maids.", "Mrs. Fairfax was summoned to\ngive information respecting the resources of the house in shawls,\ndresses, draperies of any kind; and certain wardrobes of the third storey\nwere ransacked, and their contents, in the shape of brocaded and hooped\npetticoats, satin sacques, black modes, lace lappets, &c., were brought\ndown in armfuls by the abigails; then a selection was made, and such\nthings as were chosen were carried to the boudoir within the\ndrawing-room.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester had again summoned the ladies round him, and was\nselecting certain of their number to be of his party.", "\"Miss Ingram is\nmine, of course,\" said he: afterwards he named the two Misses Eshton, and\nMrs. Dent.", "He looked at me: I happened to be near him, as I had been\nfastening the clasp of Mrs. Dent's bracelet, which had got loose.", "\"Will you play?\"", "he asked.", "I shook my head.", "He did not insist, which I\nrather feared he would have done; he allowed me to return quietly to my\nusual seat.", "He and his aids now withdrew behind the curtain: the other party, which\nwas headed by Colonel Dent, sat down on the crescent of chairs.", "One of\nthe gentlemen, Mr. Eshton, observing me, seemed to propose that I should\nbe asked to join them; but Lady Ingram instantly negatived the notion.", "\"No,\" I heard her say: \"she looks too stupid for any game of the sort.\"", "Ere long a bell tinkled, and the curtain drew up.", "Within the arch, the\nbulky figure of Sir George Lynn, whom Mr. Rochester had likewise chosen,\nwas seen enveloped in a white sheet: before him, on a table, lay open a\nlarge book; and at his side stood Amy Eshton, draped in Mr. Rochester's\ncloak, and holding a book in her hand.", "Somebody, unseen, rang the bell\nmerrily; then Adele (who had insisted on being one of her guardian's\nparty), bounded forward, scattering round her the contents of a basket of\nflowers she carried on her arm.", "Then appeared the magnificent figure of\nMiss Ingram, clad in white, a long veil on her head, and a wreath of\nroses round her brow; by her side walked Mr. Rochester, and together they\ndrew near the table.", "They knelt; while Mrs. Dent and Louisa Eshton,\ndressed also in white, took up their stations behind them.", "A ceremony\nfollowed, in dumb show, in which it was easy to recognise the pantomime\nof a marriage.", "At its termination, Colonel Dent and his party consulted\nin whispers for two minutes, then the Colonel called out--\n\n\"Bride!\"", "Mr. Rochester bowed, and the curtain fell.", "A considerable interval elapsed before it again rose.", "Its second rising\ndisplayed a more elaborately prepared scene than the last.", "The drawing-\nroom, as I have before observed, was raised two steps above the dining-\nroom, and on the top of the upper step, placed a yard or two back within\nthe room, appeared a large marble basin--which I recognised as an\nornament of the conservatory--where it usually stood, surrounded by\nexotics, and tenanted by gold fish--and whence it must have been\ntransported with some trouble, on account of its size and weight.", "Seated on the carpet, by the side of this basin, was seen Mr. Rochester,\ncostumed in shawls, with a turban on his head.", "His dark eyes and swarthy\nskin and Paynim features suited the costume exactly: he looked the very\nmodel of an Eastern emir, an agent or a victim of the bowstring.", "Presently advanced into view Miss Ingram.", "She, too, was attired in\noriental fashion: a crimson scarf tied sash-like round the waist: an\nembroidered handkerchief knotted about her temples; her\nbeautifully-moulded arms bare, one of them upraised in the act of\nsupporting a pitcher, poised gracefully on her head.", "Both her cast of\nform and feature, her complexion and her general air, suggested the idea\nof some Israelitish princess of the patriarchal days; and such was\ndoubtless the character she intended to represent.", "She approached the basin, and bent over it as if to fill her pitcher; she\nagain lifted it to her head.", "The personage on the well-brink now seemed\nto accost her; to make some request:--\"She hasted, let down her pitcher\non her hand, and gave him to drink.\"", "From the bosom of his robe he then\nproduced a casket, opened it and showed magnificent bracelets and\nearrings; she acted astonishment and admiration; kneeling, he laid the\ntreasure at her feet; incredulity and delight were expressed by her looks\nand gestures; the stranger fastened the bracelets on her arms and the\nrings in her ears.", "It was Eliezer and Rebecca: the camels only were\nwanting.", "The divining party again laid their heads together: apparently they could\nnot agree about the word or syllable the scene illustrated.", "Colonel\nDent, their spokesman, demanded \"the tableau of the whole;\" whereupon the\ncurtain again descended.", "On its third rising only a portion of the drawing-room was disclosed; the\nrest being concealed by a screen, hung with some sort of dark and coarse\ndrapery.", "The marble basin was removed; in its place, stood a deal table\nand a kitchen chair: these objects were visible by a very dim light\nproceeding from a horn lantern, the wax candles being all extinguished.", "Amidst this sordid scene, sat a man with his clenched hands resting on\nhis knees, and his eyes bent on the ground.", "I knew Mr. Rochester; though\nthe begrimed face, the disordered dress (his coat hanging loose from one\narm, as if it had been almost torn from his back in a scuffle), the\ndesperate and scowling countenance, the rough, bristling hair might well\nhave disguised him.", "As he moved, a chain clanked; to his wrists were\nattached fetters.", "\"Bridewell!\"", "exclaimed Colonel Dent, and the charade was solved.", "A sufficient interval having elapsed for the performers to resume their\nordinary costume, they re-entered the dining-room.", "Mr. Rochester led in\nMiss Ingram; she was complimenting him on his acting.", "\"Do you know,\" said she, \"that, of the three characters, I liked you in\nthe last best?", "Oh, had you but lived a few years earlier, what a gallant\ngentleman-highwayman you would have made!\"", "\"Is all the soot washed from my face?\"", "he asked, turning it towards her.", "\"Alas!", "yes: the more's the pity!", "Nothing could be more becoming to your\ncomplexion than that ruffian's rouge.\"", "\"You would like a hero of the road then?\"", "\"An English hero of the road would be the next best thing to an Italian\nbandit; and that could only be surpassed by a Levantine pirate.\"", "\"Well, whatever I am, remember you are my wife; we were married an hour\nsince, in the presence of all these witnesses.\"", "She giggled, and her\ncolour rose.", "\"Now, Dent,\" continued Mr. Rochester, \"it is your turn.\"", "And as the\nother party withdrew, he and his band took the vacated seats.", "Miss\nIngram placed herself at her leader's right hand; the other diviners\nfilled the chairs on each side of him and her.", "I did not now watch the\nactors; I no longer waited with interest for the curtain to rise; my\nattention was absorbed by the spectators; my eyes, erewhile fixed on the\narch, were now irresistibly attracted to the semicircle of chairs.", "What\ncharade Colonel Dent and his party played, what word they chose, how they\nacquitted themselves, I no longer remember; but I still see the\nconsultation which followed each scene: I see Mr. Rochester turn to Miss\nIngram, and Miss Ingram to him; I see her incline her head towards him,\ntill the jetty curls almost touch his shoulder and wave against his\ncheek; I hear their mutual whisperings; I recall their interchanged\nglances; and something even of the feeling roused by the spectacle\nreturns in memory at this moment.", "I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr. Rochester: I could\nnot unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice\nme--because I might pass hours in his presence, and he would never once\nturn his eyes in my direction--because I saw all his attentions\nappropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her\nrobes as she passed; who, if ever her dark and imperious eye fell on me\nby chance, would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to\nmerit observation.", "I could not unlove him, because I felt sure he would\nsoon marry this very lady--because I read daily in her a proud security\nin his intentions respecting her--because I witnessed hourly in him a\nstyle of courtship which, if careless and choosing rather to be sought\nthan to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness, captivating, and in its\nvery pride, irresistible.", "There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances, though\nmuch to create despair.", "Much too, you will think, reader, to engender\njealousy: if a woman, in my position, could presume to be jealous of a\nwoman in Miss Ingram's.", "But I was not jealous: or very rarely;--the\nnature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that word.", "Miss\nIngram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the\nfeeling.", "Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean what I say.", "She was very\nshowy, but she was not genuine: she had a fine person, many brilliant\nattainments; but her mind was poor, her heart barren by nature: nothing\nbloomed spontaneously on that soil; no unforced natural fruit delighted\nby its freshness.", "She was not good; she was not original: she used to\nrepeat sounding phrases from books: she never offered, nor had, an\nopinion of her own.", "She advocated a high tone of sentiment; but she did\nnot know the sensations of sympathy and pity; tenderness and truth were\nnot in her.", "Too often she betrayed this, by the undue vent she gave to a\nspiteful antipathy she had conceived against little Adele: pushing her\naway with some contumelious epithet if she happened to approach her;\nsometimes ordering her from the room, and always treating her with\ncoldness and acrimony.", "Other eyes besides mine watched these\nmanifestations of character--watched them closely, keenly, shrewdly.", "Yes;\nthe future bridegroom, Mr. Rochester himself, exercised over his intended\na ceaseless surveillance; and it was from this sagacity--this guardedness\nof his--this perfect, clear consciousness of his fair one's defects--this\nobvious absence of passion in his sentiments towards her, that my ever-\ntorturing pain arose.", "I saw he was going to marry her, for family, perhaps political reasons,\nbecause her rank and connections suited him; I felt he had not given her\nhis love, and that her qualifications were ill adapted to win from him\nthat treasure.", "This was the point--this was where the nerve was touched\nand teased--this was where the fever was sustained and fed: _she could\nnot charm him_.", "If she had managed the victory at once, and he had yielded and sincerely\nlaid his heart at her feet, I should have covered my face, turned to the\nwall, and (figuratively) have died to them.", "If Miss Ingram had been a\ngood and noble woman, endowed with force, fervour, kindness, sense, I\nshould have had one vital struggle with two tigers--jealousy and despair:\nthen, my heart torn out and devoured, I should have admired\nher--acknowledged her excellence, and been quiet for the rest of my days:\nand the more absolute her superiority, the deeper would have been my\nadmiration--the more truly tranquil my quiescence.", "But as matters really\nstood, to watch Miss Ingram's efforts at fascinating Mr. Rochester, to\nwitness their repeated failure--herself unconscious that they did fail;\nvainly fancying that each shaft launched hit the mark, and infatuatedly\npluming herself on success, when her pride and self-complacency repelled\nfurther and further what she wished to allure--to witness _this_, was to\nbe at once under ceaseless excitation and ruthless restraint.", "Because, when she failed, I saw how she might have succeeded.", "Arrows\nthat continually glanced off from Mr. Rochester's breast and fell\nharmless at his feet, might, I knew, if shot by a surer hand, have\nquivered keen in his proud heart--have called love into his stern eye,\nand softness into his sardonic face; or, better still, without weapons a\nsilent conquest might have been won.", "\"Why can she not influence him more, when she is privileged to draw so\nnear to him?\"", "I asked myself.", "\"Surely she cannot truly like him, or not\nlike him with true affection!", "If she did, she need not coin her smiles\nso lavishly, flash her glances so unremittingly, manufacture airs so\nelaborate, graces so multitudinous.", "It seems to me that she might, by\nmerely sitting quietly at his side, saying little and looking less, get\nnigher his heart.", "I have seen in his face a far different expression\nfrom that which hardens it now while she is so vivaciously accosting him;\nbut then it came of itself: it was not elicited by meretricious arts and\ncalculated manoeuvres; and one had but to accept it--to answer what he\nasked without pretension, to address him when needful without grimace--and\nit increased and grew kinder and more genial, and warmed one like a\nfostering sunbeam.", "How will she manage to please him when they are\nmarried?", "I do not think she will manage it; and yet it might be managed;\nand his wife might, I verily believe, be the very happiest woman the sun\nshines on.\"", "I have not yet said anything condemnatory of Mr. Rochester's project of\nmarrying for interest and connections.", "It surprised me when I first\ndiscovered that such was his intention: I had thought him a man unlikely\nto be influenced by motives so commonplace in his choice of a wife; but\nthe longer I considered the position, education, &c., of the parties, the\nless I felt justified in judging and blaming either him or Miss Ingram\nfor acting in conformity to ideas and principles instilled into them,\ndoubtless, from their childhood.", "All their class held these principles:\nI supposed, then, they had reasons for holding them such as I could not\nfathom.", "It seemed to me that, were I a gentleman like him, I would take\nto my bosom only such a wife as I could love; but the very obviousness of\nthe advantages to the husband's own happiness offered by this plan\nconvinced me that there must be arguments against its general adoption of\nwhich I was quite ignorant: otherwise I felt sure all the world would act\nas I wished to act.", "But in other points, as well as this, I was growing very lenient to my\nmaster: I was forgetting all his faults, for which I had once kept a\nsharp look-out.", "It had formerly been my endeavour to study all sides of\nhis character: to take the bad with the good; and from the just weighing\nof both, to form an equitable judgment.", "Now I saw no bad.", "The sarcasm\nthat had repelled, the harshness that had startled me once, were only\nlike keen condiments in a choice dish: their presence was pungent, but\ntheir absence would be felt as comparatively insipid.", "And as for the\nvague something--was it a sinister or a sorrowful, a designing or a\ndesponding expression?--that opened upon a careful observer, now and\nthen, in his eye, and closed again before one could fathom the strange\ndepth partially disclosed; that something which used to make me fear and\nshrink, as if I had been wandering amongst volcanic-looking hills, and\nhad suddenly felt the ground quiver and seen it gape: that something, I,\nat intervals, beheld still; and with throbbing heart, but not with\npalsied nerves.", "Instead of wishing to shun, I longed only to dare--to\ndivine it; and I thought Miss Ingram happy, because one day she might\nlook into the abyss at her leisure, explore its secrets and analyse their\nnature.", "Meantime, while I thought only of my master and his future bride--saw\nonly them, heard only their discourse, and considered only their\nmovements of importance--the rest of the party were occupied with their\nown separate interests and pleasures.", "The Ladies Lynn and Ingram\ncontinued to consort in solemn conferences, where they nodded their two\nturbans at each other, and held up their four hands in confronting\ngestures of surprise, or mystery, or horror, according to the theme on\nwhich their gossip ran, like a pair of magnified puppets.", "Mild Mrs. Dent\ntalked with good-natured Mrs. Eshton; and the two sometimes bestowed a\ncourteous word or smile on me.", "Sir George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and Mr.\nEshton discussed politics, or county affairs, or justice business.", "Lord\nIngram flirted with Amy Eshton; Louisa played and sang to and with one of\nthe Messrs. Lynn; and Mary Ingram listened languidly to the gallant\nspeeches of the other.", "Sometimes all, as with one consent, suspended\ntheir by-play to observe and listen to the principal actors: for, after\nall, Mr. Rochester and--because closely connected with him--Miss Ingram\nwere the life and soul of the party.", "If he was absent from the room an\nhour, a perceptible dulness seemed to steal over the spirits of his\nguests; and his re-entrance was sure to give a fresh impulse to the\nvivacity of conversation.", "The want of his animating influence appeared to be peculiarly felt one\nday that he had been summoned to Millcote on business, and was not likely\nto return till late.", "The afternoon was wet: a walk the party had\nproposed to take to see a gipsy camp, lately pitched on a common beyond\nHay, was consequently deferred.", "Some of the gentlemen were gone to the\nstables: the younger ones, together with the younger ladies, were playing\nbilliards in the billiard-room.", "The dowagers Ingram and Lynn sought\nsolace in a quiet game at cards.", "Blanche Ingram, after having repelled,\nby supercilious taciturnity, some efforts of Mrs. Dent and Mrs. Eshton to\ndraw her into conversation, had first murmured over some sentimental\ntunes and airs on the piano, and then, having fetched a novel from the\nlibrary, had flung herself in haughty listlessness on a sofa, and\nprepared to beguile, by the spell of fiction, the tedious hours of\nabsence.", "The room and the house were silent: only now and then the\nmerriment of the billiard-players was heard from above.", "It was verging on dusk, and the clock had already given warning of the\nhour to dress for dinner, when little Adele, who knelt by me in the\ndrawing-room window-seat, suddenly exclaimed--\n\n\"Voila, Monsieur Rochester, qui revient!\"", "I turned, and Miss Ingram darted forwards from her sofa: the others, too,\nlooked up from their several occupations; for at the same time a\ncrunching of wheels and a splashing tramp of horse-hoofs became audible\non the wet gravel.", "A post-chaise was approaching.", "\"What can possess him to come home in that style?\"", "said Miss Ingram.", "\"He\nrode Mesrour (the black horse), did he not, when he went out?", "and Pilot\nwas with him:--what has he done with the animals?\"", "As she said this, she approached her tall person and ample garments so\nnear the window, that I was obliged to bend back almost to the breaking\nof my spine: in her eagerness she did not observe me at first, but when\nshe did, she curled her lip and moved to another casement.", "The\npost-chaise stopped; the driver rang the door-bell, and a gentleman\nalighted attired in travelling garb; but it was not Mr. Rochester; it was\na tall, fashionable-looking man, a stranger.", "\"How provoking!\"", "exclaimed Miss Ingram: \"you tiresome monkey!\"", "(apostrophising Adele), \"who perched you up in the window to give false\nintelligence?\"", "and she cast on me an angry glance, as if I were in fault.", "Some parleying was audible in the hall, and soon the new-comer entered.", "He bowed to Lady Ingram, as deeming her the eldest lady present.", "\"It appears I come at an inopportune time, madam,\" said he, \"when my\nfriend, Mr. Rochester, is from home; but I arrive from a very long\njourney, and I think I may presume so far on old and intimate\nacquaintance as to instal myself here till he returns.\"", "His manner was polite; his accent, in speaking, struck me as being\nsomewhat unusual,--not precisely foreign, but still not altogether\nEnglish: his age might be about Mr. Rochester's,--between thirty and\nforty; his complexion was singularly sallow: otherwise he was a\nfine-looking man, at first sight especially.", "On closer examination, you\ndetected something in his face that displeased, or rather that failed to\nplease.", "His features were regular, but too relaxed: his eye was large\nand well cut, but the life looking out of it was a tame, vacant life--at\nleast so I thought.", "The sound of the dressing-bell dispersed the party.", "It was not till\nafter dinner that I saw him again: he then seemed quite at his ease.", "But\nI liked his physiognomy even less than before: it struck me as being at\nthe same time unsettled and inanimate.", "His eye wandered, and had no\nmeaning in its wandering: this gave him an odd look, such as I never\nremembered to have seen.", "For a handsome and not an unamiable-looking\nman, he repelled me exceedingly: there was no power in that\nsmooth-skinned face of a full oval shape: no firmness in that aquiline\nnose and small cherry mouth; there was no thought on the low, even\nforehead; no command in that blank, brown eye.", "As I sat in my usual nook, and looked at him with the light of the\ngirandoles on the mantelpiece beaming full over him--for he occupied an\narm-chair drawn close to the fire, and kept shrinking still nearer, as if\nhe were cold, I compared him with Mr. Rochester.", "I think (with deference\nbe it spoken) the contrast could not be much greater between a sleek\ngander and a fierce falcon: between a meek sheep and the rough-coated\nkeen-eyed dog, its guardian.", "He had spoken of Mr. Rochester as an old friend.", "A curious friendship\ntheirs must have been: a pointed illustration, indeed, of the old adage\nthat \"extremes meet.\"", "Two or three of the gentlemen sat near him, and I caught at times scraps\nof their conversation across the room.", "At first I could not make much\nsense of what I heard; for the discourse of Louisa Eshton and Mary\nIngram, who sat nearer to me, confused the fragmentary sentences that\nreached me at intervals.", "These last were discussing the stranger; they\nboth called him \"a beautiful man.\"", "Louisa said he was \"a love of a\ncreature,\" and she \"adored him;\" and Mary instanced his \"pretty little\nmouth, and nice nose,\" as her ideal of the charming.", "\"And what a sweet-tempered forehead he has!\"", "cried Louisa,--\"so\nsmooth--none of those frowning irregularities I dislike so much; and such\na placid eye and smile!\"", "And then, to my great relief, Mr. Henry Lynn summoned them to the other\nside of the room, to settle some point about the deferred excursion to\nHay Common.", "I was now able to concentrate my attention on the group by the fire, and\nI presently gathered that the new-comer was called Mr. Mason; then I\nlearned that he was but just arrived in England, and that he came from\nsome hot country: which was the reason, doubtless, his face was so\nsallow, and that he sat so near the hearth, and wore a surtout in the\nhouse.", "Presently the words Jamaica, Kingston, Spanish Town, indicated\nthe West Indies as his residence; and it was with no little surprise I\ngathered, ere long, that he had there first seen and become acquainted\nwith Mr. Rochester.", "He spoke of his friend's dislike of the burning\nheats, the hurricanes, and rainy seasons of that region.", "I knew Mr.\nRochester had been a traveller: Mrs. Fairfax had said so; but I thought\nthe continent of Europe had bounded his wanderings; till now I had never\nheard a hint given of visits to more distant shores.", "I was pondering these things, when an incident, and a somewhat unexpected\none, broke the thread of my musings.", "Mr. Mason, shivering as some one\nchanced to open the door, asked for more coal to be put on the fire,\nwhich had burnt out its flame, though its mass of cinder still shone hot\nand red.", "The footman who brought the coal, in going out, stopped near\nMr. Eshton's chair, and said something to him in a low voice, of which I\nheard only the words, \"old woman,\"--\"quite troublesome.\"", "\"Tell her she shall be put in the stocks if she does not take herself\noff,\" replied the magistrate.", "\"No--stop!\"", "interrupted Colonel Dent.", "\"Don't send her away, Eshton; we\nmight turn the thing to account; better consult the ladies.\"", "And\nspeaking aloud, he continued--\"Ladies, you talked of going to Hay Common\nto visit the gipsy camp; Sam here says that one of the old Mother Bunches\nis in the servants' hall at this moment, and insists upon being brought\nin before 'the quality,' to tell them their fortunes.", "Would you like to\nsee her?\"", "\"Surely, colonel,\" cried Lady Ingram, \"you would not encourage such a low\nimpostor?", "Dismiss her, by all means, at once!\"", "\"But I cannot persuade her to go away, my lady,\" said the footman; \"nor\ncan any of the servants: Mrs. Fairfax is with her just now, entreating\nher to be gone; but she has taken a chair in the chimney-corner, and says\nnothing shall stir her from it till she gets leave to come in here.\"", "\"What does she want?\"", "asked Mrs. Eshton.", "\"'To tell the gentry their fortunes,' she says, ma'am; and she swears she\nmust and will do it.\"", "\"What is she like?\"", "inquired the Misses Eshton, in a breath.", "\"A shockingly ugly old creature, miss; almost as black as a crock.\"", "\"Why, she's a real sorceress!\"", "cried Frederick Lynn.", "\"Let us have her\nin, of course.\"", "\"To be sure,\" rejoined his brother; \"it would be a thousand pities to\nthrow away such a chance of fun.\"", "\"My dear boys, what are you thinking about?\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Lynn.", "\"I cannot possibly countenance any such inconsistent proceeding,\" chimed\nin the Dowager Ingram.", "\"Indeed, mama, but you can--and will,\" pronounced the haughty voice of\nBlanche, as she turned round on the piano-stool; where till now she had\nsat silent, apparently examining sundry sheets of music.", "\"I have a\ncuriosity to hear my fortune told: therefore, Sam, order the beldame\nforward.\"", "\"My darling Blanche!", "recollect--\"\n\n\"I do--I recollect all you can suggest; and I must have my will--quick,\nSam!\"", "\"Yes--yes--yes!\"", "cried all the juveniles, both ladies and gentlemen.", "\"Let\nher come--it will be excellent sport!\"", "The footman still lingered.", "\"She looks such a rough one,\" said he.", "\"Go!\"", "ejaculated Miss Ingram, and the man went.", "Excitement instantly seized the whole party: a running fire of raillery\nand jests was proceeding when Sam returned.", "\"She won't come now,\" said he.", "\"She says it's not her mission to appear\nbefore the 'vulgar herd' (them's her words).", "I must show her into a room\nby herself, and then those who wish to consult her must go to her one by\none.\"", "\"You see now, my queenly Blanche,\" began Lady Ingram, \"she encroaches.", "Be\nadvised, my angel girl--and--\"\n\n\"Show her into the library, of course,\" cut in the \"angel girl.\"", "\"It is\nnot my mission to listen to her before the vulgar herd either: I mean to\nhave her all to myself.", "Is there a fire in the library?\"", "\"Yes, ma'am--but she looks such a tinkler.\"", "\"Cease that chatter, blockhead!", "and do my bidding.\"", "Again Sam vanished; and mystery, animation, expectation rose to full flow\nonce more.", "\"She's ready now,\" said the footman, as he reappeared.", "\"She wishes to\nknow who will be her first visitor.\"", "\"I think I had better just look in upon her before any of the ladies go,\"\nsaid Colonel Dent.", "\"Tell her, Sam, a gentleman is coming.\"", "Sam went and returned.", "\"She says, sir, that she'll have no gentlemen; they need not trouble\nthemselves to come near her; nor,\" he added, with difficulty suppressing\na titter, \"any ladies either, except the young, and single.\"", "\"By Jove, she has taste!\"", "exclaimed Henry Lynn.", "Miss Ingram rose solemnly: \"I go first,\" she said, in a tone which might\nhave befitted the leader of a forlorn hope, mounting a breach in the van\nof his men.", "\"Oh, my best!", "oh, my dearest!", "pause--reflect!\"", "was her mama's cry; but\nshe swept past her in stately silence, passed through the door which\nColonel Dent held open, and we heard her enter the library.", "A comparative silence ensued.", "Lady Ingram thought it \"le cas\" to wring\nher hands: which she did accordingly.", "Miss Mary declared she felt, for\nher part, she never dared venture.", "Amy and Louisa Eshton tittered under\ntheir breath, and looked a little frightened.", "The minutes passed very slowly: fifteen were counted before the library-\ndoor again opened.", "Miss Ingram returned to us through the arch.", "Would she laugh?", "Would she take it as a joke?", "All eyes met her with a\nglance of eager curiosity, and she met all eyes with one of rebuff and\ncoldness; she looked neither flurried nor merry: she walked stiffly to\nher seat, and took it in silence.", "\"Well, Blanche?\"", "said Lord Ingram.", "\"What did she say, sister?\"", "asked Mary.", "\"What did you think?", "How do you feel?--Is she a real fortune-teller?\"", "demanded the Misses Eshton.", "\"Now, now, good people,\" returned Miss Ingram, \"don't press upon me.", "Really your organs of wonder and credulity are easily excited: you seem,\nby the importance of you all--my good mama included--ascribe to this\nmatter, absolutely to believe we have a genuine witch in the house, who\nis in close alliance with the old gentleman.", "I have seen a gipsy\nvagabond; she has practised in hackneyed fashion the science of palmistry\nand told me what such people usually tell.", "My whim is gratified; and now\nI think Mr. Eshton will do well to put the hag in the stocks to-morrow\nmorning, as he threatened.\"", "Miss Ingram took a book, leant back in her chair, and so declined further\nconversation.", "I watched her for nearly half-an-hour: during all that\ntime she never turned a page, and her face grew momently darker, more\ndissatisfied, and more sourly expressive of disappointment.", "She had\nobviously not heard anything to her advantage: and it seemed to me, from\nher prolonged fit of gloom and taciturnity, that she herself,\nnotwithstanding her professed indifference, attached undue importance to\nwhatever revelations had been made her.", "{During all that time she never turned a page: p184.jpg}\n\nMeantime, Mary Ingram, Amy and Louisa Eshton, declared they dared not go\nalone; and yet they all wished to go.", "A negotiation was opened through\nthe medium of the ambassador, Sam; and after much pacing to and fro,\ntill, I think, the said Sam's calves must have ached with the exercise,\npermission was at last, with great difficulty, extorted from the rigorous\nSibyl, for the three to wait upon her in a body.", "Their visit was not so still as Miss Ingram's had been: we heard\nhysterical giggling and little shrieks proceeding from the library; and\nat the end of about twenty minutes they burst the door open, and came\nrunning across the hall, as if they were half-scared out of their wits.", "\"I am sure she is something not right!\"", "they cried, one and all.", "\"She\ntold us such things!", "She knows all about us!\"", "and they sank breathless\ninto the various seats the gentlemen hastened to bring them.", "Pressed for further explanation, they declared she had told them of\nthings they had said and done when they were mere children; described\nbooks and ornaments they had in their boudoirs at home: keepsakes that\ndifferent relations had presented to them.", "They affirmed that she had\neven divined their thoughts, and had whispered in the ear of each the\nname of the person she liked best in the world, and informed them of what\nthey most wished for.", "Here the gentlemen interposed with earnest petitions to be further\nenlightened on these two last-named points; but they got only blushes,\nejaculations, tremors, and titters, in return for their importunity.", "The\nmatrons, meantime, offered vinaigrettes and wielded fans; and again and\nagain reiterated the expression of their concern that their warning had\nnot been taken in time; and the elder gentlemen laughed, and the younger\nurged their services on the agitated fair ones.", "In the midst of the tumult, and while my eyes and ears were fully engaged\nin the scene before me, I heard a hem close at my elbow: I turned, and\nsaw Sam.", "\"If you please, miss, the gipsy declares that there is another young\nsingle lady in the room who has not been to her yet, and she swears she\nwill not go till she has seen all.", "I thought it must be you: there is no\none else for it.", "What shall I tell her?\"", "\"Oh, I will go by all means,\" I answered: and I was glad of the\nunexpected opportunity to gratify my much-excited curiosity.", "I slipped\nout of the room, unobserved by any eye--for the company were gathered in\none mass about the trembling trio just returned--and I closed the door\nquietly behind me.", "\"If you like, miss,\" said Sam, \"I'll wait in the hall for you; and if she\nfrightens you, just call and I'll come in.\"", "\"No, Sam, return to the kitchen: I am not in the least afraid.\"", "Nor was\nI; but I was a good deal interested and excited." ]

[ "Miss\nIngram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the\nfeeling.", "\"Why can she not influence him more, when she is privileged to draw so\nnear to him?\"", "I have not yet said anything condemnatory of Mr. Rochester's project of\nmarrying for interest and connections.", "He bowed to Lady Ingram, as deeming her the eldest lady present.", "inquired the Misses Eshton, in a breath.", "\"I cannot possibly countenance any such inconsistent proceeding,\" chimed\nin the Dowager Ingram.", "I have seen a gipsy\nvagabond; she has practised in hackneyed fashion the science of palmistry\nand told me what such people usually tell.", "Here the gentlemen interposed with earnest petitions to be further\nenlightened on these two last-named points; but they got only blushes,\nejaculations, tremors, and titters, in return for their importunity.", "The\nmatrons, meantime, offered vinaigrettes and wielded fans; and again and\nagain reiterated the expression of their concern that their warning had\nnot been taken in time; and the elder gentlemen laughed, and the younger\nurged their services on the agitated fair ones.", "What shall I tell her?\"" ]

[ "\"What did you think?", "And as for the\nvague something--was it a sinister or a sorrowful, a designing or a\ndesponding expression?--that opened upon a careful observer, now and\nthen, in his eye, and closed again before one could fathom the strange\ndepth partially disclosed; that something which used to make me fear and\nshrink, as if I had been wandering amongst volcanic-looking hills, and\nhad suddenly felt the ground quiver and seen it gape: that something, I,\nat intervals, beheld still; and with throbbing heart, but not with\npalsied nerves.", "It had formerly been my endeavour to study all sides of\nhis character: to take the bad with the good; and from the just weighing\nof both, to form an equitable judgment.", "\"What is she like?\"", "and she cast on me an angry glance, as if I were in fault.", "I watched her for nearly half-an-hour: during all that\ntime she never turned a page, and her face grew momently darker, more\ndissatisfied, and more sourly expressive of disappointment.", "Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean what I say.", "I think (with deference\nbe it spoken) the contrast could not be much greater between a sleek\ngander and a fierce falcon: between a meek sheep and the rough-coated\nkeen-eyed dog, its guardian.", "He did not insist, which I\nrather feared he would have done; he allowed me to return quietly to my\nusual seat.", "She, too, was attired in\noriental fashion: a crimson scarf tied sash-like round the waist: an\nembroidered handkerchief knotted about her temples; her\nbeautifully-moulded arms bare, one of them upraised in the act of\nsupporting a pitcher, poised gracefully on her head." ]

[ "The\npost-chaise stopped; the driver rang the door-bell, and a gentleman\nalighted attired in travelling garb; but it was not Mr. Rochester; it was\na tall, fashionable-looking man, a stranger.", "\"How provoking!\"", "exclaimed Miss Ingram: \"you tiresome monkey!\"", "(apostrophising Adele), \"who perched you up in the window to give false\nintelligence?\"", "and she cast on me an angry glance, as if I were in fault.", "Some parleying was audible in the hall, and soon the new-comer entered.", "He bowed to Lady Ingram, as deeming her the eldest lady present.", "\"It appears I come at an inopportune time, madam,\" said he, \"when my\nfriend, Mr. Rochester, is from home; but I arrive from a very long\njourney, and I think I may presume so far on old and intimate\nacquaintance as to instal myself here till he returns.\"", "His manner was polite; his accent, in speaking, struck me as being\nsomewhat unusual,--not precisely foreign, but still not altogether\nEnglish: his age might be about Mr. Rochester's,--between thirty and\nforty; his complexion was singularly sallow: otherwise he was a\nfine-looking man, at first sight especially.", "On closer examination, you\ndetected something in his face that displeased, or rather that failed to\nplease.", "His features were regular, but too relaxed: his eye was large\nand well cut, but the life looking out of it was a tame, vacant life--at\nleast so I thought." ]

[ "\n\nMerry days were these at Thornfield Hall; and busy days too: how\ndifferent from the first three months of stillness, monotony, and\nsolitude I had passed beneath its roof!", "All sad feelings seemed now\ndriven from the house, all gloomy associations forgotten: there was life\neverywhere, movement all day long.", "You could not now traverse the\ngallery, once so hushed, nor enter the front chambers, once so\ntenantless, without encountering a smart lady's-maid or a dandy valet.", "The kitchen, the butler's pantry, the servants' hall, the entrance hall,\nwere equally alive; and the saloons were only left void and still when\nthe blue sky and halcyon sunshine of the genial spring weather called\ntheir occupants out into the grounds.", "Even when that weather was broken,\nand continuous rain set in for some days, no damp seemed cast over\nenjoyment: indoor amusements only became more lively and varied, in\nconsequence of the stop put to outdoor gaiety.", "I wondered what they were going to do the first evening a change of\nentertainment was proposed: they spoke of \"playing charades,\" but in my\nignorance I did not understand the term.", "The servants were called in,\nthe dining-room tables wheeled away, the lights otherwise disposed, the\nchairs placed in a semicircle opposite the arch.", "While Mr. Rochester and\nthe other gentlemen directed these alterations, the ladies were running\nup and down stairs ringing for their maids.", "Mrs. Fairfax was summoned to\ngive information respecting the resources of the house in shawls,\ndresses, draperies of any kind; and certain wardrobes of the third storey\nwere ransacked, and their contents, in the shape of brocaded and hooped\npetticoats, satin sacques, black modes, lace lappets, &c., were brought\ndown in armfuls by the abigails; then a selection was made, and such\nthings as were chosen were carried to the boudoir within the\ndrawing-room.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester had again summoned the ladies round him, and was\nselecting certain of their number to be of his party.", "The\nmatrons, meantime, offered vinaigrettes and wielded fans; and again and\nagain reiterated the expression of their concern that their warning had\nnot been taken in time; and the elder gentlemen laughed, and the younger\nurged their services on the agitated fair ones.", "In the midst of the tumult, and while my eyes and ears were fully engaged\nin the scene before me, I heard a hem close at my elbow: I turned, and\nsaw Sam.", "\"If you please, miss, the gipsy declares that there is another young\nsingle lady in the room who has not been to her yet, and she swears she\nwill not go till she has seen all.", "I thought it must be you: there is no\none else for it.", "What shall I tell her?\"", "\"Oh, I will go by all means,\" I answered: and I was glad of the\nunexpected opportunity to gratify my much-excited curiosity.", "I slipped\nout of the room, unobserved by any eye--for the company were gathered in\none mass about the trembling trio just returned--and I closed the door\nquietly behind me.", "\"If you like, miss,\" said Sam, \"I'll wait in the hall for you; and if she\nfrightens you, just call and I'll come in.\"", "\"No, Sam, return to the kitchen: I am not in the least afraid.\"", "Nor was\nI; but I was a good deal interested and excited." ]

[ "\n\nThe library looked tranquil enough as I entered it, and the Sibyl--if\nSibyl she were--was seated snugly enough in an easy-chair at the chimney-\ncorner.", "She had on a red cloak and a black bonnet: or rather, a broad-\nbrimmed gipsy hat, tied down with a striped handkerchief under her chin.", "An extinguished candle stood on the table; she was bending over the fire,\nand seemed reading in a little black book, like a prayer-book, by the\nlight of the blaze: she muttered the words to herself, as most old women\ndo, while she read; she did not desist immediately on my entrance: it\nappeared she wished to finish a paragraph.", "I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which were rather cold with\nsitting at a distance from the drawing-room fire.", "I felt now as composed\nas ever I did in my life: there was nothing indeed in the gipsy's\nappearance to trouble one's calm.", "She shut her book and slowly looked\nup; her hat-brim partially shaded her face, yet I could see, as she\nraised it, that it was a strange one.", "It looked all brown and black: elf-\nlocks bristled out from beneath a white band which passed under her chin,\nand came half over her cheeks, or rather jaws: her eye confronted me at\nonce, with a bold and direct gaze.", "\"Well, and you want your fortune told?\"", "she said, in a voice as decided\nas her glance, as harsh as her features.", "\"I don't care about it, mother; you may please yourself: but I ought to\nwarn you, I have no faith.\"", "\"It's like your impudence to say so: I expected it of you; I heard it in\nyour step as you crossed the threshold.\"", "\"Did you?", "You've a quick ear.\"", "\"I have; and a quick eye and a quick brain.\"", "\"You need them all in your trade.\"", "\"I do; especially when I've customers like you to deal with.", "Why don't\nyou tremble?\"", "\"I'm not cold.\"", "\"Why don't you turn pale?\"", "\"I am not sick.\"", "\"Why don't you consult my art?\"", "\"I'm not silly.\"", "The old crone \"nichered\" a laugh under her bonnet and bandage; she then\ndrew out a short black pipe, and lighting it began to smoke.", "Having\nindulged a while in this sedative, she raised her bent body, took the\npipe from her lips, and while gazing steadily at the fire, said very\ndeliberately--\"You are cold; you are sick; and you are silly.\"", "\"Prove it,\" I rejoined.", "\"I will, in few words.", "You are cold, because you are alone: no contact\nstrikes the fire from you that is in you.", "You are sick; because the best\nof feelings, the highest and the sweetest given to man, keeps far away\nfrom you.", "You are silly, because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon\nit to approach, nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits\nyou.\"", "She again put her short black pipe to her lips, and renewed her smoking\nwith vigour.", "\"You might say all that to almost any one who you knew lived as a\nsolitary dependent in a great house.\"", "\"I might say it to almost any one: but would it be true of almost any\none?\"", "\"In my circumstances.\"", "\"Yes; just so, in _your_ circumstances: but find me another precisely\nplaced as you are.\"", "\"It would be easy to find you thousands.\"", "\"You could scarcely find me one.", "If you knew it, you are peculiarly\nsituated: very near happiness; yes, within reach of it.", "The materials\nare all prepared; there only wants a movement to combine them.", "Chance\nlaid them somewhat apart; let them be once approached and bliss results.\"", "\"I don't understand enigmas.", "I never could guess a riddle in my life.\"", "\"If you wish me to speak more plainly, show me your palm.\"", "\"And I must cross it with silver, I suppose?\"", "\"To be sure.\"", "I gave her a shilling: she put it into an old stocking-foot which she\ntook out of her pocket, and having tied it round and returned it, she\ntold me to hold out my hand.", "I did.", "She approached her face to the\npalm, and pored over it without touching it.", "\"It is too fine,\" said she.", "\"I can make nothing of such a hand as that;\nalmost without lines: besides, what is in a palm?", "Destiny is not written\nthere.\"", "\"I believe you,\" said I.", "\"No,\" she continued, \"it is in the face: on the forehead, about the eyes,\nin the lines of the mouth.", "Kneel, and lift up your head.\"", "\"Ah!", "now you are coming to reality,\" I said, as I obeyed her.", "\"I shall\nbegin to put some faith in you presently.\"", "I knelt within half a yard of her.", "She stirred the fire, so that a\nripple of light broke from the disturbed coal: the glare, however, as she\nsat, only threw her face into deeper shadow: mine, it illumined.", "\"I wonder with what feelings you came to me to-night,\" she said, when she\nhad examined me a while.", "\"I wonder what thoughts are busy in your heart\nduring all the hours you sit in yonder room with the fine people flitting\nbefore you like shapes in a magic-lantern: just as little sympathetic\ncommunion passing between you and them as if they were really mere\nshadows of human forms, and not the actual substance.\"", "\"I feel tired often, sleepy sometimes, but seldom sad.\"", "\"Then you have some secret hope to buoy you up and please you with\nwhispers of the future?\"", "\"Not I.", "The utmost I hope is, to save money enough out of my earnings to\nset up a school some day in a little house rented by myself.\"", "\"A mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on: and sitting in that window-\nseat (you see I know your habits )--\"\n\n\"You have learned them from the servants.\"", "\"Ah!", "you think yourself sharp.", "Well, perhaps I have: to speak truth, I\nhave an acquaintance with one of them, Mrs. Poole--\"\n\nI started to my feet when I heard the name.", "\"You have--have you?\"", "thought I; \"there is diablerie in the business\nafter all, then!\"", "\"Don't be alarmed,\" continued the strange being; \"she's a safe hand is\nMrs. Poole: close and quiet; any one may repose confidence in her.", "But,\nas I was saying: sitting in that window-seat, do you think of nothing but\nyour future school?", "Have you no present interest in any of the company\nwho occupy the sofas and chairs before you?", "Is there not one face you\nstudy?", "one figure whose movements you follow with at least curiosity?\"", "\"I like to observe all the faces and all the figures.\"", "\"But do you never single one from the rest--or it may be, two?\"", "\"I do frequently; when the gestures or looks of a pair seem telling a\ntale: it amuses me to watch them.\"", "\"What tale do you like best to hear?\"", "\"Oh, I have not much choice!", "They generally run on the same\ntheme--courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe--marriage.\"", "\"And do you like that monotonous theme?\"", "\"Positively, I don't care about it: it is nothing to me.\"", "\"Nothing to you?", "When a lady, young and full of life and health,\ncharming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and fortune, sits\nand smiles in the eyes of a gentleman you--\"\n\n\"I what?\"", "\"You know--and perhaps think well of.\"", "\"I don't know the gentlemen here.", "I have scarcely interchanged a\nsyllable with one of them; and as to thinking well of them, I consider\nsome respectable, and stately, and middle-aged, and others young,\ndashing, handsome, and lively: but certainly they are all at liberty to\nbe the recipients of whose smiles they please, without my feeling\ndisposed to consider the transaction of any moment to me.\"", "\"You don't know the gentlemen here?", "You have not exchanged a syllable\nwith one of them?", "Will you say that of the master of the house!\"", "\"He is not at home.\"", "\"A profound remark!", "A most ingenious quibble!", "He went to Millcote this\nmorning, and will be back here to-night or to-morrow: does that\ncircumstance exclude him from the list of your acquaintance--blot him, as\nit were, out of existence?\"", "\"No; but I can scarcely see what Mr. Rochester has to do with the theme\nyou had introduced.\"", "\"I was talking of ladies smiling in the eyes of gentlemen; and of late so\nmany smiles have been shed into Mr. Rochester's eyes that they overflow\nlike two cups filled above the brim: have you never remarked that?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester has a right to enjoy the society of his guests.\"", "\"No question about his right: but have you never observed that, of all\nthe tales told here about matrimony, Mr. Rochester has been favoured with\nthe most lively and the most continuous?\"", "\"The eagerness of a listener quickens the tongue of a narrator.\"", "I said\nthis rather to myself than to the gipsy, whose strange talk, voice,\nmanner, had by this time wrapped me in a kind of dream.", "One unexpected\nsentence came from her lips after another, till I got involved in a web\nof mystification; and wondered what unseen spirit had been sitting for\nweeks by my heart watching its workings and taking record of every pulse.", "\"Eagerness of a listener!\"", "repeated she: \"yes; Mr. Rochester has sat by\nthe hour, his ear inclined to the fascinating lips that took such delight\nin their task of communicating; and Mr. Rochester was so willing to\nreceive and looked so grateful for the pastime given him; you have\nnoticed this?\"", "\"Grateful!", "I cannot remember detecting gratitude in his face.\"", "\"Detecting!", "You have analysed, then.", "And what did you detect, if not\ngratitude?\"", "I said nothing.", "\"You have seen love: have you not?--and, looking forward, you have seen\nhim married, and beheld his bride happy?\"", "\"Humph!", "Not exactly.", "Your witch's skill is rather at fault sometimes.\"", "\"What the devil have you seen, then?\"", "\"Never mind: I came here to inquire, not to confess.", "Is it known that\nMr. Rochester is to be married?\"", "\"Yes; and to the beautiful Miss Ingram.\"", "\"Shortly?\"", "\"Appearances would warrant that conclusion: and, no doubt (though, with\nan audacity that wants chastising out of you, you seem to question it),\nthey will be a superlatively happy pair.", "He must love such a handsome,\nnoble, witty, accomplished lady; and probably she loves him, or, if not\nhis person, at least his purse.", "I know she considers the Rochester\nestate eligible to the last degree; though (God pardon me!)", "I told her\nsomething on that point about an hour ago which made her look wondrous\ngrave: the corners of her mouth fell half an inch.", "I would advise her\nblackaviced suitor to look out: if another comes, with a longer or\nclearer rent-roll,--he's dished--\"\n\n\"But, mother, I did not come to hear Mr. Rochester's fortune: I came to\nhear my own; and you have told me nothing of it.\"", "\"Your fortune is yet doubtful: when I examined your face, one trait\ncontradicted another.", "Chance has meted you a measure of happiness: that\nI know.", "I knew it before I came here this evening.", "She has laid it\ncarefully on one side for you.", "I saw her do it.", "It depends on yourself\nto stretch out your hand, and take it up: but whether you will do so, is\nthe problem I study.", "Kneel again on the rug.\"", "\"Don't keep me long; the fire scorches me.\"", "{She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in her chair:\np190.jpg}\n\nI knelt.", "She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in\nher chair.", "She began muttering,--\n\n\"The flame flickers in the eye; the eye shines like dew; it looks soft\nand full of feeling; it smiles at my jargon: it is susceptible;\nimpression follows impression through its clear sphere; where it ceases\nto smile, it is sad; an unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid: that\nsignifies melancholy resulting from loneliness.", "It turns from me; it\nwill not suffer further scrutiny; it seems to deny, by a mocking glance,\nthe truth of the discoveries I have already made,--to disown the charge\nboth of sensibility and chagrin: its pride and reserve only confirm me in\nmy opinion.", "The eye is favourable.", "\"As to the mouth, it delights at times in laughter; it is disposed to\nimpart all that the brain conceives; though I daresay it would be silent\non much the heart experiences.", "Mobile and flexible, it was never\nintended to be compressed in the eternal silence of solitude: it is a\nmouth which should speak much and smile often, and have human affection\nfor its interlocutor.", "That feature too is propitious.", "\"I see no enemy to a fortunate issue but in the brow; and that brow\nprofesses to say,--'I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances\nrequire me so to do.", "I need not sell my soul to buy bliss.", "I have an\ninward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous\ndelights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford\nto give.'", "The forehead declares, 'Reason sits firm and holds the reins,\nand she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to wild\nchasms.", "The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they\nare; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things: but judgment\nshall still have the last word in every argument, and the casting vote in\nevery decision.", "Strong wind, earthquake-shock, and fire may pass by: but\nI shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which interprets the\ndictates of conscience.'", "\"Well said, forehead; your declaration shall be respected.", "I have formed\nmy plans--right plans I deem them--and in them I have attended to the\nclaims of conscience, the counsels of reason.", "I know how soon youth\nwould fade and bloom perish, if, in the cup of bliss offered, but one\ndreg of shame, or one flavour of remorse were detected; and I do not want\nsacrifice, sorrow, dissolution--such is not my taste.", "I wish to foster,\nnot to blight--to earn gratitude, not to wring tears of blood--no, nor of\nbrine: my harvest must be in smiles, in endearments, in sweet--That will\ndo.", "I think I rave in a kind of exquisite delirium.", "I should wish now\nto protract this moment _ad infinitum_; but I dare not.", "So far I have\ngoverned myself thoroughly.", "I have acted as I inwardly swore I would\nact; but further might try me beyond my strength.", "Rise, Miss Eyre: leave\nme; the play is played out'.\"", "Where was I?", "Did I wake or sleep?", "Had I been dreaming?", "Did I dream\nstill?", "The old woman's voice had changed: her accent, her gesture, and\nall were familiar to me as my own face in a glass--as the speech of my\nown tongue.", "I got up, but did not go.", "I looked; I stirred the fire, and\nI looked again: but she drew her bonnet and her bandage closer about her\nface, and again beckoned me to depart.", "The flame illuminated her hand\nstretched out: roused now, and on the alert for discoveries, I at once\nnoticed that hand.", "It was no more the withered limb of eld than my own;\nit was a rounded supple member, with smooth fingers, symmetrically\nturned; a broad ring flashed on the little finger, and stooping forward,\nI looked at it, and saw a gem I had seen a hundred times before.", "Again I\nlooked at the face; which was no longer turned from me--on the contrary,\nthe bonnet was doffed, the bandage displaced, the head advanced.", "\"Well, Jane, do you know me?\"", "asked the familiar voice.", "\"Only take off the red cloak, sir, and then--\"\n\n\"But the string is in a knot--help me.\"", "\"Break it, sir.\"", "\"There, then--'Off, ye lendings!'\"", "And Mr. Rochester stepped out of his\ndisguise.", "\"Now, sir, what a strange idea!\"", "\"But well carried out, eh?", "Don't you think so?\"", "\"With the ladies you must have managed well.\"", "\"But not with you?\"", "\"You did not act the character of a gipsy with me.\"", "\"What character did I act?", "My own?\"", "\"No; some unaccountable one.", "In short, I believe you have been trying to\ndraw me out--or in; you have been talking nonsense to make me talk\nnonsense.", "It is scarcely fair, sir.\"", "\"Do you forgive me, Jane?\"", "\"I cannot tell till I have thought it all over.", "If, on reflection, I\nfind I have fallen into no great absurdity, I shall try to forgive you;\nbut it was not right.\"", "\"Oh, you have been very correct--very careful, very sensible.\"", "I reflected, and thought, on the whole, I had.", "It was a comfort; but,\nindeed, I had been on my guard almost from the beginning of the\ninterview.", "Something of masquerade I suspected.", "I knew gipsies and\nfortune-tellers did not express themselves as this seeming old woman had\nexpressed herself; besides I had noted her feigned voice, her anxiety to\nconceal her features.", "But my mind had been running on Grace Poole--that\nliving enigma, that mystery of mysteries, as I considered her.", "I had\nnever thought of Mr. Rochester.", "\"Well,\" said he, \"what are you musing about?", "What does that grave smile\nsignify?\"", "\"Wonder and self-congratulation, sir.", "I have your permission to retire\nnow, I suppose?\"", "\"No; stay a moment; and tell me what the people in the drawing-room\nyonder are doing.\"", "\"Discussing the gipsy, I daresay.\"", "\"Sit down!--Let me hear what they said about me.\"", "\"I had better not stay long, sir; it must be near eleven o'clock.", "Oh,\nare you aware, Mr. Rochester, that a stranger has arrived here since you\nleft this morning?\"", "\"A stranger!--no; who can it be?", "I expected no one; is he gone?\"", "\"No; he said he had known you long, and that he could take the liberty of\ninstalling himself here till you returned.\"", "\"The devil he did!", "Did he give his name?\"", "\"His name is Mason, sir; and he comes from the West Indies; from Spanish\nTown, in Jamaica, I think.\"", "Mr. Rochester was standing near me; he had taken my hand, as if to lead\nme to a chair.", "As I spoke he gave my wrist a convulsive grip; the smile\non his lips froze: apparently a spasm caught his breath.", "\"Mason!--the West Indies!\"", "he said, in the tone one might fancy a\nspeaking automaton to enounce its single words; \"Mason!--the West\nIndies!\"", "he reiterated; and he went over the syllables three times,\ngrowing, in the intervals of speaking, whiter than ashes: he hardly\nseemed to know what he was doing.", "\"Do you feel ill, sir?\"", "I inquired.", "\"Jane, I've got a blow; I've got a blow, Jane!\"", "He staggered.", "\"Oh, lean on me, sir.\"", "\"Jane, you offered me your shoulder once before; let me have it now.\"", "\"Yes, sir, yes; and my arm.\"", "He sat down, and made me sit beside him.", "Holding my hand in both his\nown, he chafed it; gazing on me, at the same time, with the most troubled\nand dreary look.", "\"My little friend!\"", "said he, \"I wish I were in a quiet island with only\nyou; and trouble, and danger, and hideous recollections removed from me.\"", "\"Can I help you, sir?--I'd give my life to serve you.\"", "\"Jane, if aid is wanted, I'll seek it at your hands; I promise you that.\"", "\"Thank you, sir.", "Tell me what to do,--I'll try, at least, to do it.\"", "\"Fetch me now, Jane, a glass of wine from the dining-room: they will be\nat supper there; and tell me if Mason is with them, and what he is\ndoing.\"", "I went.", "I found all the party in the dining-room at supper, as Mr.\nRochester had said; they were not seated at table,--the supper was\narranged on the sideboard; each had taken what he chose, and they stood\nabout here and there in groups, their plates and glasses in their hands.", "Every one seemed in high glee; laughter and conversation were general and\nanimated.", "Mr. Mason stood near the fire, talking to Colonel and Mrs.\nDent, and appeared as merry as any of them.", "I filled a wine-glass (I saw\nMiss Ingram watch me frowningly as I did so: she thought I was taking a\nliberty, I daresay), and I returned to the library.", "Mr. Rochester's extreme pallor had disappeared, and he looked once more\nfirm and stern.", "He took the glass from my hand.", "\"Here is to your health, ministrant spirit!\"", "he said.", "He swallowed the\ncontents and returned it to me.", "\"What are they doing, Jane?\"", "\"Laughing and talking, sir.\"", "\"They don't look grave and mysterious, as if they had heard something\nstrange?\"", "\"Not at all: they are full of jests and gaiety.\"", "\"And Mason?\"", "\"He was laughing too.\"", "\"If all these people came in a body and spat at me, what would you do,\nJane?\"", "\"Turn them out of the room, sir, if I could.\"", "He half smiled.", "\"But if I were to go to them, and they only looked at me\ncoldly, and whispered sneeringly amongst each other, and then dropped off\nand left me one by one, what then?", "Would you go with them?\"", "\"I rather think not, sir: I should have more pleasure in staying with\nyou.\"", "\"To comfort me?\"", "\"Yes, sir, to comfort you, as well as I could.\"", "\"And if they laid you under a ban for adhering to me?\"", "\"I, probably, should know nothing about their ban; and if I did, I should\ncare nothing about it.\"", "\"Then, you could dare censure for my sake?\"", "\"I could dare it for the sake of any friend who deserved my adherence; as\nyou, I am sure, do.\"", "\"Go back now into the room; step quietly up to Mason, and whisper in his\near that Mr. Rochester is come and wishes to see him: show him in here\nand then leave me.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "I did his behest.", "The company all stared at me as I passed straight\namong them.", "I sought Mr. Mason, delivered the message, and preceded him\nfrom the room: I ushered him into the library, and then I went upstairs.", "At a late hour, after I had been in bed some time, I heard the visitors\nrepair to their chambers: I distinguished Mr. Rochester's voice, and\nheard him say, \"This way, Mason; this is your room.\"", "He spoke cheerfully: the gay tones set my heart at ease.", "I was soon\nasleep." ]

[ "I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which were rather cold with\nsitting at a distance from the drawing-room fire.", "\"I'm not cold.\"", "\"Prove it,\" I rejoined.", "\"You might say all that to almost any one who you knew lived as a\nsolitary dependent in a great house.\"", "\"It would be easy to find you thousands.\"", "Chance\nlaid them somewhat apart; let them be once approached and bliss results.\"", "\"Don't be alarmed,\" continued the strange being; \"she's a safe hand is\nMrs. Poole: close and quiet; any one may repose confidence in her.", "\"I do frequently; when the gestures or looks of a pair seem telling a\ntale: it amuses me to watch them.\"", "\"Shortly?\"", "he reiterated; and he went over the syllables three times,\ngrowing, in the intervals of speaking, whiter than ashes: he hardly\nseemed to know what he was doing." ]

[ "\"It would be easy to find you thousands.\"", "If, on reflection, I\nfind I have fallen into no great absurdity, I shall try to forgive you;\nbut it was not right.\"", "\"I believe you,\" said I.", "I felt now as composed\nas ever I did in my life: there was nothing indeed in the gipsy's\nappearance to trouble one's calm.", "\"But well carried out, eh?", "\"Do you feel ill, sir?\"", "I have your permission to retire\nnow, I suppose?\"", "She stirred the fire, so that a\nripple of light broke from the disturbed coal: the glare, however, as she\nsat, only threw her face into deeper shadow: mine, it illumined.", "\"Break it, sir.\"", "I knew gipsies and\nfortune-tellers did not express themselves as this seeming old woman had\nexpressed herself; besides I had noted her feigned voice, her anxiety to\nconceal her features." ]

[ "She has laid it\ncarefully on one side for you.", "I saw her do it.", "It depends on yourself\nto stretch out your hand, and take it up: but whether you will do so, is\nthe problem I study.", "Kneel again on the rug.\"", "\"Don't keep me long; the fire scorches me.\"", "{She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in her chair:\np190.jpg}\n\nI knelt.", "She did not stoop towards me, but only gazed, leaning back in\nher chair.", "She began muttering,--\n\n\"The flame flickers in the eye; the eye shines like dew; it looks soft\nand full of feeling; it smiles at my jargon: it is susceptible;\nimpression follows impression through its clear sphere; where it ceases\nto smile, it is sad; an unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid: that\nsignifies melancholy resulting from loneliness.", "It turns from me; it\nwill not suffer further scrutiny; it seems to deny, by a mocking glance,\nthe truth of the discoveries I have already made,--to disown the charge\nboth of sensibility and chagrin: its pride and reserve only confirm me in\nmy opinion.", "The eye is favourable.", "\"As to the mouth, it delights at times in laughter; it is disposed to\nimpart all that the brain conceives; though I daresay it would be silent\non much the heart experiences." ]

[ "\n\nThe library looked tranquil enough as I entered it, and the Sibyl--if\nSibyl she were--was seated snugly enough in an easy-chair at the chimney-\ncorner.", "She had on a red cloak and a black bonnet: or rather, a broad-\nbrimmed gipsy hat, tied down with a striped handkerchief under her chin.", "An extinguished candle stood on the table; she was bending over the fire,\nand seemed reading in a little black book, like a prayer-book, by the\nlight of the blaze: she muttered the words to herself, as most old women\ndo, while she read; she did not desist immediately on my entrance: it\nappeared she wished to finish a paragraph.", "I stood on the rug and warmed my hands, which were rather cold with\nsitting at a distance from the drawing-room fire.", "I felt now as composed\nas ever I did in my life: there was nothing indeed in the gipsy's\nappearance to trouble one's calm.", "She shut her book and slowly looked\nup; her hat-brim partially shaded her face, yet I could see, as she\nraised it, that it was a strange one.", "It looked all brown and black: elf-\nlocks bristled out from beneath a white band which passed under her chin,\nand came half over her cheeks, or rather jaws: her eye confronted me at\nonce, with a bold and direct gaze.", "\"Well, and you want your fortune told?\"", "she said, in a voice as decided\nas her glance, as harsh as her features.", "\"I don't care about it, mother; you may please yourself: but I ought to\nwarn you, I have no faith.\"", "\"Then, you could dare censure for my sake?\"", "\"I could dare it for the sake of any friend who deserved my adherence; as\nyou, I am sure, do.\"", "\"Go back now into the room; step quietly up to Mason, and whisper in his\near that Mr. Rochester is come and wishes to see him: show him in here\nand then leave me.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "I did his behest.", "The company all stared at me as I passed straight\namong them.", "I sought Mr. Mason, delivered the message, and preceded him\nfrom the room: I ushered him into the library, and then I went upstairs.", "At a late hour, after I had been in bed some time, I heard the visitors\nrepair to their chambers: I distinguished Mr. Rochester's voice, and\nheard him say, \"This way, Mason; this is your room.\"", "He spoke cheerfully: the gay tones set my heart at ease.", "I was soon\nasleep." ]

[ "\n\nI had forgotten to draw my curtain, which I usually did, and also to let\ndown my window-blind.", "The consequence was, that when the moon, which was\nfull and bright (for the night was fine), came in her course to that\nspace in the sky opposite my casement, and looked in at me through the\nunveiled panes, her glorious gaze roused me.", "Awaking in the dead of\nnight, I opened my eyes on her disk--silver-white and crystal clear.", "It\nwas beautiful, but too solemn; I half rose, and stretched my arm to draw\nthe curtain.", "Good God!", "What a cry!", "The night--its silence--its rest, was rent in twain by a savage, a sharp,\na shrilly sound that ran from end to end of Thornfield Hall.", "My pulse stopped: my heart stood still; my stretched arm was paralysed.", "The cry died, and was not renewed.", "Indeed, whatever being uttered that\nfearful shriek could not soon repeat it: not the widest-winged condor on\nthe Andes could, twice in succession, send out such a yell from the cloud\nshrouding his eyrie.", "The thing delivering such utterance must rest ere\nit could repeat the effort.", "It came out of the third storey; for it passed overhead.", "And\noverhead--yes, in the room just above my chamber-ceiling--I now heard a\nstruggle: a deadly one it seemed from the noise; and a half-smothered\nvoice shouted--\n\n\"Help!", "help!", "help!\"", "three times rapidly.", "\"Will no one come?\"", "it cried; and then, while the staggering and stamping\nwent on wildly, I distinguished through plank and plaster:--\n\n\"Rochester!", "Rochester!", "for God's sake, come!\"", "A chamber-door opened: some one ran, or rushed, along the gallery.", "Another step stamped on the flooring above and something fell; and there\nwas silence.", "I had put on some clothes, though horror shook all my limbs; I issued\nfrom my apartment.", "The sleepers were all aroused: ejaculations,\nterrified murmurs sounded in every room; door after door unclosed; one\nlooked out and another looked out; the gallery filled.", "Gentlemen and\nladies alike had quitted their beds; and \"Oh!", "what is it?\"", "--\"Who is\nhurt?\"", "--\"What has happened?\"", "--\"Fetch a light!\"", "--\"Is it fire?\"", "--\"Are there\nrobbers?\"", "--\"Where shall we run?\"", "was demanded confusedly on all hands.", "But for the moonlight they would have been in complete darkness.", "They\nran to and fro; they crowded together: some sobbed, some stumbled: the\nconfusion was inextricable.", "\"Where the devil is Rochester?\"", "cried Colonel Dent.", "\"I cannot find him\nin his bed.\"", "\"Here!", "here!\"", "was shouted in return.", "\"Be composed, all of you: I'm\ncoming.\"", "And the door at the end of the gallery opened, and Mr. Rochester advanced\nwith a candle: he had just descended from the upper storey.", "One of the\nladies ran to him directly; she seized his arm: it was Miss Ingram.", "\"What awful event has taken place?\"", "said she.", "\"Speak!", "let us know the\nworst at once!\"", "\"But don't pull me down or strangle me,\" he replied: for the Misses\nEshton were clinging about him now; and the two dowagers, in vast white\nwrappers, were bearing down on him like ships in full sail.", "\"All's right!--all's right!\"", "he cried.", "\"It's a mere rehearsal of Much\nAdo about Nothing.", "Ladies, keep off, or I shall wax dangerous.\"", "And dangerous he looked: his black eyes darted sparks.", "Calming himself\nby an effort, he added--\n\n\"A servant has had the nightmare; that is all.", "She's an excitable,\nnervous person: she construed her dream into an apparition, or something\nof that sort, no doubt; and has taken a fit with fright.", "Now, then, I\nmust see you all back into your rooms; for, till the house is settled,\nshe cannot be looked after.", "Gentlemen, have the goodness to set the\nladies the example.", "Miss Ingram, I am sure you will not fail in evincing\nsuperiority to idle terrors.", "Amy and Louisa, return to your nests like a\npair of doves, as you are.", "Mesdames\" (to the dowagers), \"you will take\ncold to a dead certainty, if you stay in this chill gallery any longer.\"", "And so, by dint of alternate coaxing and commanding, he contrived to get\nthem all once more enclosed in their separate dormitories.", "I did not\nwait to be ordered back to mine, but retreated unnoticed, as unnoticed I\nhad left it.", "Not, however, to go to bed: on the contrary, I began and dressed myself\ncarefully.", "The sounds I had heard after the scream, and the words that\nhad been uttered, had probably been heard only by me; for they had\nproceeded from the room above mine: but they assured me that it was not a\nservant's dream which had thus struck horror through the house; and that\nthe explanation Mr. Rochester had given was merely an invention framed to\npacify his guests.", "I dressed, then, to be ready for emergencies.", "When\ndressed, I sat a long time by the window looking out over the silent\ngrounds and silvered fields and waiting for I knew not what.", "It seemed\nto me that some event must follow the strange cry, struggle, and call.", "No: stillness returned: each murmur and movement ceased gradually, and in\nabout an hour Thornfield Hall was again as hushed as a desert.", "It seemed\nthat sleep and night had resumed their empire.", "Meantime the moon\ndeclined: she was about to set.", "Not liking to sit in the cold and\ndarkness, I thought I would lie down on my bed, dressed as I was.", "I left\nthe window, and moved with little noise across the carpet; as I stooped\nto take off my shoes, a cautious hand tapped low at the door.", "\"Am I wanted?\"", "I asked.", "\"Are you up?\"", "asked the voice I expected to hear, viz., my master's.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And dressed?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Come out, then, quietly.\"", "I obeyed.", "Mr. Rochester stood in the gallery holding a light.", "\"I want you,\" he said: \"come this way: take your time, and make no\nnoise.\"", "My slippers were thin: I could walk the matted floor as softly as a cat.", "He glided up the gallery and up the stairs, and stopped in the dark, low\ncorridor of the fateful third storey: I had followed and stood at his\nside.", "\"Have you a sponge in your room?\"", "he asked in a whisper.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Have you any salts--volatile salts?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Go back and fetch both.\"", "I returned, sought the sponge on the washstand, the salts in my drawer,\nand once more retraced my steps.", "He still waited; he held a key in his\nhand: approaching one of the small, black doors, he put it in the lock;\nhe paused, and addressed me again.", "\"You don't turn sick at the sight of blood?\"", "\"I think I shall not: I have never been tried yet.\"", "I felt a thrill while I answered him; but no coldness, and no faintness.", "\"Just give me your hand,\" he said: \"it will not do to risk a fainting\nfit.\"", "I put my fingers into his.", "\"Warm and steady,\" was his remark: he turned\nthe key and opened the door.", "I saw a room I remembered to have seen before, the day Mrs. Fairfax\nshowed me over the house: it was hung with tapestry; but the tapestry was\nnow looped up in one part, and there was a door apparent, which had then\nbeen concealed.", "This door was open; a light shone out of the room\nwithin: I heard thence a snarling, snatching sound, almost like a dog\nquarrelling.", "Mr. Rochester, putting down his candle, said to me, \"Wait a\nminute,\" and he went forward to the inner apartment.", "A shout of laughter\ngreeted his entrance; noisy at first, and terminating in Grace Poole's\nown goblin ha!", "ha!", "_She_ then was there.", "He made some sort of\narrangement without speaking, though I heard a low voice address him: he\ncame out and closed the door behind him.", "\"Here, Jane!\"", "he said; and I walked round to the other side of a large\nbed, which with its drawn curtains concealed a considerable portion of\nthe chamber.", "An easy-chair was near the bed-head: a man sat in it,\ndressed with the exception of his coat; he was still; his head leant\nback; his eyes were closed.", "Mr. Rochester held the candle over him; I\nrecognised in his pale and seemingly lifeless face--the stranger, Mason:\nI saw too that his linen on one side, and one arm, was almost soaked in\nblood.", "\"Hold the candle,\" said Mr. Rochester, and I took it: he fetched a basin\nof water from the washstand: \"Hold that,\" said he.", "I obeyed.", "He took\nthe sponge, dipped it in, and moistened the corpse-like face; he asked\nfor my smelling-bottle, and applied it to the nostrils.", "Mr. Mason\nshortly unclosed his eyes; he groaned.", "Mr. Rochester opened the shirt of\nthe wounded man, whose arm and shoulder were bandaged: he sponged away\nblood, trickling fast down.", "\"Is there immediate danger?\"", "murmured Mr. Mason.", "\"Pooh!", "No--a mere scratch.", "Don't be so overcome, man: bear up!", "I'll\nfetch a surgeon for you now, myself: you'll be able to be removed by\nmorning, I hope.", "Jane,\" he continued.", "\"Sir?\"", "\"I shall have to leave you in this room with this gentleman, for an hour,\nor perhaps two hours: you will sponge the blood as I do when it returns:\nif he feels faint, you will put the glass of water on that stand to his\nlips, and your salts to his nose.", "You will not speak to him on any\npretext--and--Richard, it will be at the peril of your life if you speak\nto her: open your lips--agitate yourself--and I'll not answer for the\nconsequences.\"", "Again the poor man groaned; he looked as if he dared not move; fear,\neither of death or of something else, appeared almost to paralyse him.", "Mr. Rochester put the now bloody sponge into my hand, and I proceeded to\nuse it as he had done.", "He watched me a second, then saying,\n\"Remember!--No conversation,\" he left the room.", "I experienced a strange\nfeeling as the key grated in the lock, and the sound of his retreating\nstep ceased to be heard.", "Here then I was in the third storey, fastened into one of its mystic\ncells; night around me; a pale and bloody spectacle under my eyes and\nhands; a murderess hardly separated from me by a single door: yes--that\nwas appalling--the rest I could bear; but I shuddered at the thought of\nGrace Poole bursting out upon me.", "I must keep to my post, however.", "I must watch this ghastly\ncountenance--these blue, still lips forbidden to unclose--these eyes now\nshut, now opening, now wandering through the room, now fixing on me, and\never glazed with the dulness of horror.", "I must dip my hand again and\nagain in the basin of blood and water, and wipe away the trickling gore.", "I must see the light of the unsnuffed candle wane on my employment; the\nshadows darken on the wrought, antique tapestry round me, and grow black\nunder the hangings of the vast old bed, and quiver strangely over the\ndoors of a great cabinet opposite--whose front, divided into twelve\npanels, bore, in grim design, the heads of the twelve apostles, each\nenclosed in its separate panel as in a frame; while above them at the top\nrose an ebon crucifix and a dying Christ.", "According as the shifting obscurity and flickering gleam hovered here or\nglanced there, it was now the bearded physician, Luke, that bent his\nbrow; now St. John's long hair that waved; and anon the devilish face of\nJudas, that grew out of the panel, and seemed gathering life and\nthreatening a revelation of the arch-traitor--of Satan himself--in his\nsubordinate's form.", "Amidst all this, I had to listen as well as watch: to listen for the\nmovements of the wild beast or the fiend in yonder side den.", "But since\nMr. Rochester's visit it seemed spellbound: all the night I heard but\nthree sounds at three long intervals,--a step creak, a momentary renewal\nof the snarling, canine noise, and a deep human groan.", "Then my own thoughts worried me.", "What crime was this that lived\nincarnate in this sequestered mansion, and could neither be expelled nor\nsubdued by the owner?--what mystery, that broke out now in fire and now\nin blood, at the deadest hours of night?", "What creature was it, that,\nmasked in an ordinary woman's face and shape, uttered the voice, now of a\nmocking demon, and anon of a carrion-seeking bird of prey?", "And this man I bent over--this commonplace, quiet stranger--how had he\nbecome involved in the web of horror?", "and why had the Fury flown at him?", "What made him seek this quarter of the house at an untimely season, when\nhe should have been asleep in bed?", "I had heard Mr. Rochester assign him\nan apartment below--what brought him here!", "And why, now, was he so tame\nunder the violence or treachery done him?", "Why did he so quietly submit\nto the concealment Mr. Rochester enforced?", "Why _did_ Mr. Rochester\nenforce this concealment?", "His guest had been outraged, his own life on a\nformer occasion had been hideously plotted against; and both attempts he\nsmothered in secrecy and sank in oblivion!", "Lastly, I saw Mr. Mason was\nsubmissive to Mr. Rochester; that the impetuous will of the latter held\ncomplete sway over the inertness of the former: the few words which had\npassed between them assured me of this.", "It was evident that in their\nformer intercourse, the passive disposition of the one had been\nhabitually influenced by the active energy of the other: whence then had\narisen Mr. Rochester's dismay when he heard of Mr. Mason's arrival?", "Why\nhad the mere name of this unresisting individual--whom his word now\nsufficed to control like a child--fallen on him, a few hours since, as a\nthunderbolt might fall on an oak?", "Oh!", "I could not forget his look and his paleness when he whispered:\n\"Jane, I have got a blow--I have got a blow, Jane.\"", "I could not forget\nhow the arm had trembled which he rested on my shoulder: and it was no\nlight matter which could thus bow the resolute spirit and thrill the\nvigorous frame of Fairfax Rochester.", "\"When will he come?", "When will he come?\"", "I cried inwardly, as the night\nlingered and lingered--as my bleeding patient drooped, moaned, sickened:\nand neither day nor aid arrived.", "I had, again and again, held the water\nto Mason's white lips; again and again offered him the stimulating salts:\nmy efforts seemed ineffectual: either bodily or mental suffering, or loss\nof blood, or all three combined, were fast prostrating his strength.", "He\nmoaned so, and looked so weak, wild, and lost, I feared he was dying; and\nI might not even speak to him.", "The candle, wasted at last, went out; as it expired, I perceived streaks\nof grey light edging the window curtains: dawn was then approaching.", "Presently I heard Pilot bark far below, out of his distant kennel in the\ncourtyard: hope revived.", "Nor was it unwarranted: in five minutes more\nthe grating key, the yielding lock, warned me my watch was relieved.", "It\ncould not have lasted more than two hours: many a week has seemed\nshorter.", "Mr. Rochester entered, and with him the surgeon he had been to fetch.", "\"Now, Carter, be on the alert,\" he said to this last: \"I give you but\nhalf-an-hour for dressing the wound, fastening the bandages, getting the\npatient downstairs and all.\"", "\"But is he fit to move, sir?\"", "\"No doubt of it; it is nothing serious; he is nervous, his spirits must\nbe kept up.", "Come, set to work.\"", "Mr. Rochester drew back the thick curtain, drew up the holland blind, let\nin all the daylight he could; and I was surprised and cheered to see how\nfar dawn was advanced: what rosy streaks were beginning to brighten the\neast.", "Then he approached Mason, whom the surgeon was already handling.", "\"Now, my good fellow, how are you?\"", "he asked.", "\"She's done for me, I fear,\" was the faint reply.", "\"Not a whit!--courage!", "This day fortnight you'll hardly be a pin the\nworse of it: you've lost a little blood; that's all.", "Carter, assure him\nthere's no danger.\"", "\"I can do that conscientiously,\" said Carter, who had now undone the\nbandages; \"only I wish I could have got here sooner: he would not have\nbled so much--but how is this?", "The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well\nas cut.", "This wound was not done with a knife: there have been teeth\nhere!\"", "\"She bit me,\" he murmured.", "\"She worried me like a tigress, when\nRochester got the knife from her.\"", "\"You should not have yielded: you should have grappled with her at once,\"\nsaid Mr. Rochester.", "\"But under such circumstances, what could one do?\"", "returned Mason.", "\"Oh,\nit was frightful!\"", "he added, shuddering.", "\"And I did not expect it: she\nlooked so quiet at first.\"", "\"I warned you,\" was his friend's answer; \"I said--be on your guard when\nyou go near her.", "Besides, you might have waited till to-morrow, and had\nme with you: it was mere folly to attempt the interview to-night, and\nalone.\"", "\"I thought I could have done some good.\"", "\"You thought!", "you thought!", "Yes, it makes me impatient to hear you: but,\nhowever, you have suffered, and are likely to suffer enough for not\ntaking my advice; so I'll say no more.", "Carter--hurry!--hurry!", "The sun\nwill soon rise, and I must have him off.\"", "\"Directly, sir; the shoulder is just bandaged.", "I must look to this other\nwound in the arm: she has had her teeth here too, I think.\"", "\"She sucked the blood: she said she'd drain my heart,\" said Mason.", "I saw Mr. Rochester shudder: a singularly marked expression of disgust,\nhorror, hatred, warped his countenance almost to distortion; but he only\nsaid--\n\n\"Come, be silent, Richard, and never mind her gibberish: don't repeat\nit.\"", "\"I wish I could forget it,\" was the answer.", "\"You will when you are out of the country: when you get back to Spanish\nTown, you may think of her as dead and buried--or rather, you need not\nthink of her at all.\"", "\"Impossible to forget this night!\"", "\"It is not impossible: have some energy, man.", "You thought you were as\ndead as a herring two hours since, and you are all alive and talking now.", "There!--Carter has done with you or nearly so; I'll make you decent in a\ntrice.", "Jane\" (he turned to me for the first time since his re-entrance),\n\"take this key: go down into my bedroom, and walk straight forward into\nmy dressing-room: open the top drawer of the wardrobe and take out a\nclean shirt and neck-handkerchief: bring them here; and be nimble.\"", "I went; sought the repository he had mentioned, found the articles named,\nand returned with them.", "\"Now,\" said he, \"go to the other side of the bed while I order his\ntoilet; but don't leave the room: you may be wanted again.\"", "I retired as directed.", "\"Was anybody stirring below when you went down, Jane?\"", "inquired Mr.\nRochester presently.", "\"No, sir; all was very still.\"", "\"We shall get you off cannily, Dick: and it will be better, both for your\nsake, and for that of the poor creature in yonder.", "I have striven long\nto avoid exposure, and I should not like it to come at last.", "Here,\nCarter, help him on with his waist-coat.", "Where did you leave your furred\ncloak?", "You can't travel a mile without that, I know, in this damned cold\nclimate.", "In your room?--Jane, run down to Mr. Mason's room,--the one\nnext mine,--and fetch a cloak you will see there.\"", "Again I ran, and again returned, bearing an immense mantle lined and\nedged with fur.", "\"Now, I've another errand for you,\" said my untiring master; \"you must\naway to my room again.", "What a mercy you are shod with velvet, Jane!--a\nclod-hopping messenger would never do at this juncture.", "You must open\nthe middle drawer of my toilet-table and take out a little phial and a\nlittle glass you will find there,--quick!\"", "I flew thither and back, bringing the desired vessels.", "\"That's well!", "Now, doctor, I shall take the liberty of administering a\ndose myself, on my own responsibility.", "I got this cordial at Rome, of an\nItalian charlatan--a fellow you would have kicked, Carter.", "It is not a\nthing to be used indiscriminately, but it is good upon occasion: as now,\nfor instance.", "Jane, a little water.\"", "He held out the tiny glass, and I half filled it from the water-bottle on\nthe washstand.", "\"That will do;--now wet the lip of the phial.\"", "I did so; he measured twelve drops of a crimson liquid, and presented it\nto Mason.", "\"Drink, Richard: it will give you the heart you lack, for an hour or so.\"", "\"But will it hurt me?--is it inflammatory?\"", "\"Drink!", "drink!", "drink!\"", "Mr. Mason obeyed, because it was evidently useless to resist.", "He was\ndressed now: he still looked pale, but he was no longer gory and sullied.", "Mr. Rochester let him sit three minutes after he had swallowed the\nliquid; he then took his arm--\n\n\"Now I am sure you can get on your feet,\" he said--\"try.\"", "The patient rose.", "\"Carter, take him under the other shoulder.", "Be of good cheer, Richard;\nstep out--that's it!\"", "\"I do feel better,\" remarked Mr. Mason.", "\"I am sure you do.", "Now, Jane, trip on before us away to the backstairs;\nunbolt the side-passage door, and tell the driver of the post-chaise you\nwill see in the yard--or just outside, for I told him not to drive his\nrattling wheels over the pavement--to be ready; we are coming: and, Jane,\nif any one is about, come to the foot of the stairs and hem.\"", "It was by this time half-past five, and the sun was on the point of\nrising; but I found the kitchen still dark and silent.", "The side-passage\ndoor was fastened; I opened it with as little noise as possible: all the\nyard was quiet; but the gates stood wide open, and there was a\npost-chaise, with horses ready harnessed, and driver seated on the box,\nstationed outside.", "I approached him, and said the gentlemen were coming;\nhe nodded: then I looked carefully round and listened.", "The stillness of\nearly morning slumbered everywhere; the curtains were yet drawn over the\nservants' chamber windows; little birds were just twittering in the\nblossom-blanched orchard trees, whose boughs drooped like white garlands\nover the wall enclosing one side of the yard; the carriage horses stamped\nfrom time to time in their closed stables: all else was still.", "The gentlemen now appeared.", "Mason, supported by Mr. Rochester and the\nsurgeon, seemed to walk with tolerable ease: they assisted him into the\nchaise; Carter followed.", "\"Take care of him,\" said Mr. Rochester to the latter, \"and keep him at\nyour house till he is quite well: I shall ride over in a day or two to\nsee how he gets on.", "Richard, how is it with you?\"", "\"The fresh air revives me, Fairfax.\"", "\"Leave the window open on his side, Carter; there is no wind--good-bye,\nDick.\"", "\"Fairfax--\"\n\n\"Well what is it?\"", "\"Let her be taken care of; let her be treated as tenderly as may be: let\nher--\" he stopped and burst into tears.", "\"I do my best; and have done it, and will do it,\" was the answer: he shut\nup the chaise door, and the vehicle drove away.", "\"Yet would to God there was an end of all this!\"", "added Mr. Rochester, as\nhe closed and barred the heavy yard-gates.", "This done, he moved with slow step and abstracted air towards a door in\nthe wall bordering the orchard.", "I, supposing he had done with me,\nprepared to return to the house; again, however, I heard him call \"Jane!\"", "He had opened the portal and stood at it, waiting for me.", "\"Come where there is some freshness, for a few moments,\" he said; \"that\nhouse is a mere dungeon: don't you feel it so?\"", "\"It seems to me a splendid mansion, sir.\"", "\"The glamour of inexperience is over your eyes,\" he answered; \"and you\nsee it through a charmed medium: you cannot discern that the gilding is\nslime and the silk draperies cobwebs; that the marble is sordid slate,\nand the polished woods mere refuse chips and scaly bark.", "Now _here_\" (he\npointed to the leafy enclosure we had entered) \"all is real, sweet, and\npure.\"", "He strayed down a walk edged with box, with apple trees, pear trees, and\ncherry trees on one side, and a border on the other full of all sorts of\nold-fashioned flowers, stocks, sweet-williams, primroses, pansies,\nmingled with southernwood, sweet-briar, and various fragrant herbs.", "They\nwere fresh now as a succession of April showers and gleams, followed by a\nlovely spring morning, could make them: the sun was just entering the\ndappled east, and his light illumined the wreathed and dewy orchard trees\nand shone down the quiet walks under them.", "\"Jane, will you have a flower?\"", "He gathered a half-blown rose, the first on the bush, and offered it to\nme.", "\"Thank you, sir.\"", "\"Do you like this sunrise, Jane?", "That sky with its high and light clouds\nwhich are sure to melt away as the day waxes warm--this placid and balmly\natmosphere?\"", "\"I do, very much.\"", "\"You have passed a strange night, Jane.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And it has made you look pale--were you afraid when I left you alone\nwith Mason?\"", "\"I was afraid of some one coming out of the inner room.\"", "\"But I had fastened the door--I had the key in my pocket: I should have\nbeen a careless shepherd if I had left a lamb--my pet lamb--so near a\nwolf's den, unguarded: you were safe.\"", "\"Will Grace Poole live here still, sir?\"", "\"Oh yes!", "don't trouble your head about her--put the thing out of your\nthoughts.\"", "\"Yet it seems to me your life is hardly secure while she stays.\"", "\"Never fear--I will take care of myself.\"", "\"Is the danger you apprehended last night gone by now, sir?\"", "\"I cannot vouch for that till Mason is out of England: nor even then.", "To\nlive, for me, Jane, is to stand on a crater-crust which may crack and\nspue fire any day.\"", "\"But Mr. Mason seems a man easily led.", "Your influence, sir, is evidently\npotent with him: he will never set you at defiance or wilfully injure\nyou.\"", "\"Oh, no!", "Mason will not defy me; nor, knowing it, will he hurt me--but,\nunintentionally, he might in a moment, by one careless word, deprive me,\nif not of life, yet for ever of happiness.\"", "\"Tell him to be cautious, sir: let him know what you fear, and show him\nhow to avert the danger.\"", "He laughed sardonically, hastily took my hand, and as hastily threw it\nfrom him.", "\"If I could do that, simpleton, where would the danger be?", "Annihilated\nin a moment.", "Ever since I have known Mason, I have only had to say to\nhim 'Do that,' and the thing has been done.", "But I cannot give him orders\nin this case: I cannot say 'Beware of harming me, Richard;' for it is\nimperative that I should keep him ignorant that harm to me is possible.", "Now you look puzzled; and I will puzzle you further.", "You are my little\nfriend, are you not?\"", "\"I like to serve you, sir, and to obey you in all that is right.\"", "\"Precisely: I see you do.", "I see genuine contentment in your gait and\nmien, your eye and face, when you are helping me and pleasing me--working\nfor me, and with me, in, as you characteristically say, '_all that is\nright_:' for if I bid you do what you thought wrong, there would be no\nlight-footed running, no neat-handed alacrity, no lively glance and\nanimated complexion.", "My friend would then turn to me, quiet and pale,\nand would say, 'No, sir; that is impossible: I cannot do it, because it\nis wrong;' and would become immutable as a fixed star.", "Well, you too\nhave power over me, and may injure me: yet I dare not show you where I am\nvulnerable, lest, faithful and friendly as you are, you should transfix\nme at once.\"", "\"If you have no more to fear from Mr. Mason than you have from me, sir,\nyou are very safe.\"", "\"God grant it may be so!", "Here, Jane, is an arbour; sit down.\"", "The arbour was an arch in the wall, lined with ivy; it contained a rustic\nseat.", "Mr. Rochester took it, leaving room, however, for me: but I stood\nbefore him.", "\"Sit,\" he said; \"the bench is long enough for two.", "You don't hesitate to\ntake a place at my side, do you?", "Is that wrong, Jane?\"", "I answered him by assuming it: to refuse would, I felt, have been unwise.", "\"Now, my little friend, while the sun drinks the dew--while all the\nflowers in this old garden awake and expand, and the birds fetch their\nyoung ones' breakfast out of the Thornfield, and the early bees do their\nfirst spell of work--I'll put a case to you, which you must endeavour to\nsuppose your own: but first, look at me, and tell me you are at ease, and\nnot fearing that I err in detaining you, or that you err in staying.\"", "\"No, sir; I am content.\"", "\"Well then, Jane, call to aid your fancy:--suppose you were no longer a\ngirl well reared and disciplined, but a wild boy indulged from childhood\nupwards; imagine yourself in a remote foreign land; conceive that you\nthere commit a capital error, no matter of what nature or from what\nmotives, but one whose consequences must follow you through life and\ntaint all your existence.", "Mind, I don't say a _crime_; I am not speaking\nof shedding of blood or any other guilty act, which might make the\nperpetrator amenable to the law: my word is _error_.", "The results of what\nyou have done become in time to you utterly insupportable; you take\nmeasures to obtain relief: unusual measures, but neither unlawful nor\nculpable.", "Still you are miserable; for hope has quitted you on the very\nconfines of life: your sun at noon darkens in an eclipse, which you feel\nwill not leave it till the time of setting.", "Bitter and base associations\nhave become the sole food of your memory: you wander here and there,\nseeking rest in exile: happiness in pleasure--I mean in heartless,\nsensual pleasure--such as dulls intellect and blights feeling.", "Heart-weary and soul-withered, you come home after years of voluntary\nbanishment: you make a new acquaintance--how or where no matter: you find\nin this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have\nsought for twenty years, and never before encountered; and they are all\nfresh, healthy, without soil and without taint.", "Such society revives,\nregenerates: you feel better days come back--higher wishes, purer\nfeelings; you desire to recommence your life, and to spend what remains\nto you of days in a way more worthy of an immortal being.", "To attain this\nend, are you justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom--a mere\nconventional impediment which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your\njudgment approves?\"", "He paused for an answer: and what was I to say?", "Oh, for some good spirit\nto suggest a judicious and satisfactory response!", "Vain aspiration!", "The\nwest wind whispered in the ivy round me; but no gentle Ariel borrowed its\nbreath as a medium of speech: the birds sang in the tree-tops; but their\nsong, however sweet, was inarticulate.", "Again Mr. Rochester propounded his query:\n\n\"Is the wandering and sinful, but now rest-seeking and repentant, man\njustified in daring the world's opinion, in order to attach to him for\never this gentle, gracious, genial stranger, thereby securing his own\npeace of mind and regeneration of life?\"", "\"Sir,\" I answered, \"a wanderer's repose or a sinner's reformation should\nnever depend on a fellow-creature.", "Men and women die; philosophers\nfalter in wisdom, and Christians in goodness: if any one you know has\nsuffered and erred, let him look higher than his equals for strength to\namend and solace to heal.\"", "\"But the instrument--the instrument!", "God, who does the work, ordains the\ninstrument.", "I have myself--I tell it you without parable--been a\nworldly, dissipated, restless man; and I believe I have found the\ninstrument for my cure in--\"\n\nHe paused: the birds went on carolling, the leaves lightly rustling.", "I\nalmost wondered they did not check their songs and whispers to catch the\nsuspended revelation; but they would have had to wait many minutes--so\nlong was the silence protracted.", "At last I looked up at the tardy\nspeaker: he was looking eagerly at me.", "\"Little friend,\" said he, in quite a changed tone--while his face changed\ntoo, losing all its softness and gravity, and becoming harsh and\nsarcastic--\"you have noticed my tender penchant for Miss Ingram: don't\nyou think if I married her she would regenerate me with a vengeance?\"", "He got up instantly, went quite to the other end of the walk, and when he\ncame back he was humming a tune.", "\"Jane, Jane,\" said he, stopping before me, \"you are quite pale with your\nvigils: don't you curse me for disturbing your rest?\"", "\"Curse you?", "No, sir.\"", "\"Shake hands in confirmation of the word.", "What cold fingers!", "They were\nwarmer last night when I touched them at the door of the mysterious\nchamber.", "Jane, when will you watch with me again?\"", "\"Whenever I can be useful, sir.\"", "\"For instance, the night before I am married!", "I am sure I shall not be\nable to sleep.", "Will you promise to sit up with me to bear me company?", "To\nyou I can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen her and know her.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"She's a rare one, is she not, Jane?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"A strapper--a real strapper, Jane: big, brown, and buxom; with hair just\nsuch as the ladies of Carthage must have had.", "Bless me!", "there's Dent and\nLynn in the stables!", "Go in by the shrubbery, through that wicket.\"", "As I went one way, he went another, and I heard him in the yard, saying\ncheerfully--\n\n\"Mason got the start of you all this morning; he was gone before sunrise:\nI rose at four to see him off.\"" ]

[ "Good God!", "--\"Are there\nrobbers?\"", "\"Hold the candle,\" said Mr. Rochester, and I took it: he fetched a basin\nof water from the washstand: \"Hold that,\" said he.", "\"You thought!", "\"But will it hurt me?--is it inflammatory?\"", "\"I do my best; and have done it, and will do it,\" was the answer: he shut\nup the chaise door, and the vehicle drove away.", "\"Now, my little friend, while the sun drinks the dew--while all the\nflowers in this old garden awake and expand, and the birds fetch their\nyoung ones' breakfast out of the Thornfield, and the early bees do their\nfirst spell of work--I'll put a case to you, which you must endeavour to\nsuppose your own: but first, look at me, and tell me you are at ease, and\nnot fearing that I err in detaining you, or that you err in staying.\"", "\"No, sir; I am content.\"", "Oh, for some good spirit\nto suggest a judicious and satisfactory response!", "No, sir.\"" ]

[ "Besides, you might have waited till to-morrow, and had\nme with you: it was mere folly to attempt the interview to-night, and\nalone.\"", "I put my fingers into his.", "Presently I heard Pilot bark far below, out of his distant kennel in the\ncourtyard: hope revived.", "\"Here!", "I'll\nfetch a surgeon for you now, myself: you'll be able to be removed by\nmorning, I hope.", "\"Now, Carter, be on the alert,\" he said to this last: \"I give you but\nhalf-an-hour for dressing the wound, fastening the bandages, getting the\npatient downstairs and all.\"", "\"Whenever I can be useful, sir.\"", "Mason will not defy me; nor, knowing it, will he hurt me--but,\nunintentionally, he might in a moment, by one careless word, deprive me,\nif not of life, yet for ever of happiness.\"", "\"I want you,\" he said: \"come this way: take your time, and make no\nnoise.\"", "--\"Are there\nrobbers?\"" ]

[ "\"Not a whit!--courage!", "This day fortnight you'll hardly be a pin the\nworse of it: you've lost a little blood; that's all.", "Carter, assure him\nthere's no danger.\"", "\"I can do that conscientiously,\" said Carter, who had now undone the\nbandages; \"only I wish I could have got here sooner: he would not have\nbled so much--but how is this?", "The flesh on the shoulder is torn as well\nas cut.", "This wound was not done with a knife: there have been teeth\nhere!\"", "\"She bit me,\" he murmured.", "\"She worried me like a tigress, when\nRochester got the knife from her.\"", "\"You should not have yielded: you should have grappled with her at once,\"\nsaid Mr. Rochester.", "\"But under such circumstances, what could one do?\"", "returned Mason." ]

[ "\n\nI had forgotten to draw my curtain, which I usually did, and also to let\ndown my window-blind.", "The consequence was, that when the moon, which was\nfull and bright (for the night was fine), came in her course to that\nspace in the sky opposite my casement, and looked in at me through the\nunveiled panes, her glorious gaze roused me.", "Awaking in the dead of\nnight, I opened my eyes on her disk--silver-white and crystal clear.", "It\nwas beautiful, but too solemn; I half rose, and stretched my arm to draw\nthe curtain.", "Good God!", "What a cry!", "The night--its silence--its rest, was rent in twain by a savage, a sharp,\na shrilly sound that ran from end to end of Thornfield Hall.", "My pulse stopped: my heart stood still; my stretched arm was paralysed.", "The cry died, and was not renewed.", "Indeed, whatever being uttered that\nfearful shriek could not soon repeat it: not the widest-winged condor on\nthe Andes could, twice in succession, send out such a yell from the cloud\nshrouding his eyrie.", "Will you promise to sit up with me to bear me company?", "To\nyou I can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen her and know her.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"She's a rare one, is she not, Jane?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"A strapper--a real strapper, Jane: big, brown, and buxom; with hair just\nsuch as the ladies of Carthage must have had.", "Bless me!", "there's Dent and\nLynn in the stables!", "Go in by the shrubbery, through that wicket.\"", "As I went one way, he went another, and I heard him in the yard, saying\ncheerfully--\n\n\"Mason got the start of you all this morning; he was gone before sunrise:\nI rose at four to see him off.\"" ]

[ "\n\nPresentiments are strange things!", "and so are sympathies; and so are\nsigns; and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not\nyet found the key.", "I never laughed at presentiments in my life, because\nI have had strange ones of my own.", "Sympathies, I believe, exist (for\ninstance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives\nasserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the unity of the source to\nwhich each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal comprehension.", "And signs, for aught we know, may be but the sympathies of Nature with\nman.", "When I was a little girl, only six years old, I one night heard Bessie\nLeaven say to Martha Abbot that she had been dreaming about a little\nchild; and that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble, either\nto one's self or one's kin.", "The saying might have worn out of my memory,\nhad not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix\nit there.", "The next day Bessie was sent for home to the deathbed of her\nlittle sister.", "Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during\nthe past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not\nbrought with it a dream of an infant, which I sometimes hushed in my\narms, sometimes dandled on my knee, sometimes watched playing with\ndaisies on a lawn, or again, dabbling its hands in running water.", "It was\na wailing child this night, and a laughing one the next: now it nestled\nclose to me, and now it ran from me; but whatever mood the apparition\nevinced, whatever aspect it wore, it failed not for seven successive\nnights to meet me the moment I entered the land of slumber.", "I did not like this iteration of one idea--this strange recurrence of one\nimage, and I grew nervous as bedtime approached and the hour of the\nvision drew near.", "It was from companionship with this baby-phantom I had\nbeen roused on that moonlight night when I heard the cry; and it was on\nthe afternoon of the day following I was summoned downstairs by a message\nthat some one wanted me in Mrs. Fairfax's room.", "On repairing thither, I\nfound a man waiting for me, having the appearance of a gentleman's\nservant: he was dressed in deep mourning, and the hat he held in his hand\nwas surrounded with a crape band.", "\"I daresay you hardly remember me, Miss,\" he said, rising as I entered;\n\"but my name is Leaven: I lived coachman with Mrs. Reed when you were at\nGateshead, eight or nine years since, and I live there still.\"", "\"Oh, Robert!", "how do you do?", "I remember you very well: you used to give\nme a ride sometimes on Miss Georgiana's bay pony.", "And how is Bessie?", "You\nare married to Bessie?\"", "\"Yes, Miss: my wife is very hearty, thank you; she brought me another\nlittle one about two months since--we have three now--and both mother and\nchild are thriving.\"", "\"And are the family well at the house, Robert?\"", "\"I am sorry I can't give you better news of them, Miss: they are very\nbadly at present--in great trouble.\"", "\"I hope no one is dead,\" I said, glancing at his black dress.", "He too\nlooked down at the crape round his hat and replied--\n\n\"Mr. John died yesterday was a week, at his chambers in London.\"", "\"Mr.", "John?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"And how does his mother bear it?\"", "\"Why, you see, Miss Eyre, it is not a common mishap: his life has been\nvery wild: these last three years he gave himself up to strange ways, and\nhis death was shocking.\"", "\"I heard from Bessie he was not doing well.\"", "\"Doing well!", "He could not do worse: he ruined his health and his estate\namongst the worst men and the worst women.", "He got into debt and into\njail: his mother helped him out twice, but as soon as he was free he\nreturned to his old companions and habits.", "His head was not strong: the\nknaves he lived amongst fooled him beyond anything I ever heard.", "He came\ndown to Gateshead about three weeks ago and wanted missis to give up all\nto him.", "Missis refused: her means have long been much reduced by his\nextravagance; so he went back again, and the next news was that he was\ndead.", "How he died, God knows!--they say he killed himself.\"", "I was silent: the things were frightful.", "Robert Leaven resumed--\n\n\"Missis had been out of health herself for some time: she had got very\nstout, but was not strong with it; and the loss of money and fear of\npoverty were quite breaking her down.", "The information about Mr. John's\ndeath and the manner of it came too suddenly: it brought on a stroke.", "She\nwas three days without speaking; but last Tuesday she seemed rather\nbetter: she appeared as if she wanted to say something, and kept making\nsigns to my wife and mumbling.", "It was only yesterday morning, however,\nthat Bessie understood she was pronouncing your name; and at last she\nmade out the words, 'Bring Jane--fetch Jane Eyre: I want to speak to\nher.'", "Bessie is not sure whether she is in her right mind, or means\nanything by the words; but she told Miss Reed and Miss Georgiana, and\nadvised them to send for you.", "The young ladies put it off at first; but\ntheir mother grew so restless, and said, 'Jane, Jane,' so many times,\nthat at last they consented.", "I left Gateshead yesterday: and if you can\nget ready, Miss, I should like to take you back with me early to-morrow\nmorning.\"", "\"Yes, Robert, I shall be ready: it seems to me that I ought to go.\"", "\"I think so too, Miss.", "Bessie said she was sure you would not refuse:\nbut I suppose you will have to ask leave before you can get off?\"", "\"Yes; and I will do it now;\" and having directed him to the servants'\nhall, and recommended him to the care of John's wife, and the attentions\nof John himself, I went in search of Mr. Rochester.", "He was not in any of the lower rooms; he was not in the yard, the\nstables, or the grounds.", "I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had seen him;--yes:\nshe believed he was playing billiards with Miss Ingram.", "To the billiard-\nroom I hastened: the click of balls and the hum of voices resounded\nthence; Mr. Rochester, Miss Ingram, the two Misses Eshton, and their\nadmirers, were all busied in the game.", "It required some courage to\ndisturb so interesting a party; my errand, however, was one I could not\ndefer, so I approached the master where he stood at Miss Ingram's side.", "She turned as I drew near, and looked at me haughtily: her eyes seemed to\ndemand, \"What can the creeping creature want now?\"", "and when I said, in a\nlow voice, \"Mr. Rochester,\" she made a movement as if tempted to order me\naway.", "I remember her appearance at the moment--it was very graceful and\nvery striking: she wore a morning robe of sky-blue crape; a gauzy azure\nscarf was twisted in her hair.", "She had been all animation with the game,\nand irritated pride did not lower the expression of her haughty\nlineaments.", "\"Does that person want you?\"", "she inquired of Mr. Rochester; and Mr.\nRochester turned to see who the \"person\" was.", "He made a curious\ngrimace--one of his strange and equivocal demonstrations--threw down his\ncue and followed me from the room.", "\"Well, Jane?\"", "he said, as he rested his back against the schoolroom door,\nwhich he had shut.", "\"If you please, sir, I want leave of absence for a week or two.\"", "\"What to do?--where to go?\"", "\"To see a sick lady who has sent for me.\"", "\"What sick lady?--where does she live?\"", "\"At Gateshead; in ---shire.\"", "\"-shire?", "That is a hundred miles off!", "Who may she be that sends for\npeople to see her that distance?\"", "\"Her name is Reed, sir--Mrs.", "Reed.\"", "\"Reed of Gateshead?", "There was a Reed of Gateshead, a magistrate.\"", "\"It is his widow, sir.\"", "\"And what have you to do with her?", "How do you know her?\"", "\"Mr. Reed was my uncle--my mother's brother.\"", "\"The deuce he was!", "You never told me that before: you always said you\nhad no relations.\"", "\"None that would own me, sir.", "Mr. Reed is dead, and his wife cast me\noff.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I was poor, and burdensome, and she disliked me.\"", "\"But Reed left children?--you must have cousins?", "Sir George Lynn was\ntalking of a Reed of Gateshead yesterday, who, he said, was one of the\nveriest rascals on town; and Ingram was mentioning a Georgiana Reed of\nthe same place, who was much admired for her beauty a season or two ago\nin London.\"", "\"John Reed is dead, too, sir: he ruined himself and half-ruined his\nfamily, and is supposed to have committed suicide.", "The news so shocked\nhis mother that it brought on an apoplectic attack.\"", "\"And what good can you do her?", "Nonsense, Jane!", "I would never think of\nrunning a hundred miles to see an old lady who will, perhaps, be dead\nbefore you reach her: besides, you say she cast you off.\"", "\"Yes, sir, but that is long ago; and when her circumstances were very\ndifferent: I could not be easy to neglect her wishes now.\"", "\"How long will you stay?\"", "\"As short a time as possible, sir.\"", "\"Promise me only to stay a week--\"\n\n\"I had better not pass my word: I might be obliged to break it.\"", "\"At all events you _will_ come back: you will not be induced under any\npretext to take up a permanent residence with her?\"", "\"Oh, no!", "I shall certainly return if all be well.\"", "\"And who goes with you?", "You don't travel a hundred miles alone.\"", "\"No, sir, she has sent her coachman.\"", "\"A person to be trusted?\"", "\"Yes, sir, he has lived ten years in the family.\"", "Mr. Rochester meditated.", "\"When do you wish to go?\"", "\"Early to-morrow morning, sir.\"", "\"Well, you must have some money; you can't travel without money, and I\ndaresay you have not much: I have given you no salary yet.", "How much have\nyou in the world, Jane?\"", "he asked, smiling.", "I drew out my purse; a meagre thing it was.", "\"Five shillings, sir.\"", "He\ntook the purse, poured the hoard into his palm, and chuckled over it as\nif its scantiness amused him.", "Soon he produced his pocket-book: \"Here,\"\nsaid he, offering me a note; it was fifty pounds, and he owed me but\nfifteen.", "I told him I had no change.", "\"I don't want change; you know that.", "Take your wages.\"", "I declined accepting more than was my due.", "He scowled at first; then, as\nif recollecting something, he said--\n\n\"Right, right!", "Better not give you all now: you would, perhaps, stay\naway three months if you had fifty pounds.", "There are ten; is it not\nplenty?\"", "\"Yes, sir, but now you owe me five.\"", "\"Come back for it, then; I am your banker for forty pounds.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I may as well mention another matter of business to you\nwhile I have the opportunity.\"", "\"Matter of business?", "I am curious to hear it.\"", "\"You have as good as informed me, sir, that you are going shortly to be\nmarried?\"", "\"Yes; what then?\"", "\"In that case, sir, Adele ought to go to school: I am sure you will\nperceive the necessity of it.\"", "\"To get her out of my bride's way, who might otherwise walk over her\nrather too emphatically?", "There's sense in the suggestion; not a doubt of\nit.", "Adele, as you say, must go to school; and you, of course, must march\nstraight to--the devil?\"", "\"I hope not, sir; but I must seek another situation somewhere.\"", "\"In course!\"", "he exclaimed, with a twang of voice and a distortion of\nfeatures equally fantastic and ludicrous.", "He looked at me some minutes.", "\"And old Madam Reed, or the Misses, her daughters, will be solicited by\nyou to seek a place, I suppose?\"", "\"No, sir; I am not on such terms with my relatives as would justify me in\nasking favours of them--but I shall advertise.\"", "\"You shall walk up the pyramids of Egypt!\"", "he growled.", "\"At your peril\nyou advertise!", "I wish I had only offered you a sovereign instead of ten\npounds.", "Give me back nine pounds, Jane; I've a use for it.\"", "\"And so have I, sir,\" I returned, putting my hands and my purse behind\nme.", "\"I could not spare the money on any account.\"", "\"Little niggard!\"", "said he, \"refusing me a pecuniary request!", "Give me\nfive pounds, Jane.\"", "\"Not five shillings, sir; nor five pence.\"", "\"Just let me look at the cash.\"", "\"No, sir; you are not to be trusted.\"", "\"Jane!\"", "\"Sir?\"", "\"Promise me one thing.\"", "\"I'll promise you anything, sir, that I think I am likely to perform.\"", "\"Not to advertise: and to trust this quest of a situation to me.", "I'll\nfind you one in time.\"", "\"I shall be glad so to do, sir, if you, in your turn, will promise that I\nand Adele shall be both safe out of the house before your bride enters\nit.\"", "\"Very well!", "very well!", "I'll pledge my word on it.", "You go to-morrow,\nthen?\"", "\"Yes, sir; early.\"", "\"Shall you come down to the drawing-room after dinner?\"", "\"No, sir, I must prepare for the journey.\"", "\"Then you and I must bid good-bye for a little while?\"", "\"I suppose so, sir.\"", "\"And how do people perform that ceremony of parting, Jane?", "Teach me; I'm\nnot quite up to it.\"", "\"They say, Farewell, or any other form they prefer.\"", "\"Then say it.\"", "\"Farewell, Mr. Rochester, for the present.\"", "\"What must I say?\"", "\"The same, if you like, sir.\"", "\"Farewell, Miss Eyre, for the present; is that all?\"", "\"Yes?\"", "\"It seems stingy, to my notions, and dry, and unfriendly.", "I should like\nsomething else: a little addition to the rite.", "If one shook hands, for\ninstance; but no--that would not content me either.", "So you'll do no more\nthan say Farewell, Jane?\"", "\"It is enough, sir: as much good-will may be conveyed in one hearty word\nas in many.\"", "\"Very likely; but it is blank and cool--'Farewell.'\"", "\"How long is he going to stand with his back against that door?\"", "I asked\nmyself; \"I want to commence my packing.\"", "The dinner-bell rang, and\nsuddenly away he bolted, without another syllable: I saw him no more\nduring the day, and was off before he had risen in the morning.", "I reached the lodge at Gateshead about five o'clock in the afternoon of\nthe first of May: I stepped in there before going up to the hall.", "It was\nvery clean and neat: the ornamental windows were hung with little white\ncurtains; the floor was spotless; the grate and fire-irons were burnished\nbright, and the fire burnt clear.", "Bessie sat on the hearth, nursing her\nlast-born, and Robert and his sister played quietly in a corner.", "\"Bless you!--I knew you would come!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Leaven, as I entered.", "\"Yes, Bessie,\" said I, after I had kissed her; \"and I trust I am not too\nlate.", "How is Mrs.", "Reed?--Alive still, I hope.\"", "\"Yes, she is alive; and more sensible and collected than she was.", "The\ndoctor says she may linger a week or two yet; but he hardly thinks she\nwill finally recover.\"", "\"Has she mentioned me lately?\"", "\"She was talking of you only this morning, and wishing you would come,\nbut she is sleeping now, or was ten minutes ago, when I was up at the\nhouse.", "She generally lies in a kind of lethargy all the afternoon, and\nwakes up about six or seven.", "Will you rest yourself here an hour, Miss,\nand then I will go up with you?\"", "Robert here entered, and Bessie laid her sleeping child in the cradle and\nwent to welcome him: afterwards she insisted on my taking off my bonnet\nand having some tea; for she said I looked pale and tired.", "I was glad to\naccept her hospitality; and I submitted to be relieved of my travelling\ngarb just as passively as I used to let her undress me when a child.", "Old times crowded fast back on me as I watched her bustling about--setting\nout the tea-tray with her best china, cutting bread and butter, toasting\na tea-cake, and, between whiles, giving little Robert or Jane an\noccasional tap or push, just as she used to give me in former days.", "Bessie had retained her quick temper as well as her light foot and good\nlooks.", "Tea ready, I was going to approach the table; but she desired me to sit\nstill, quite in her old peremptory tones.", "I must be served at the\nfireside, she said; and she placed before me a little round stand with my\ncup and a plate of toast, absolutely as she used to accommodate me with\nsome privately purloined dainty on a nursery chair: and I smiled and\nobeyed her as in bygone days.", "She wanted to know if I was happy at Thornfield Hall, and what sort of a\nperson the mistress was; and when I told her there was only a master,\nwhether he was a nice gentleman, and if I liked him.", "I told her he was\nrather an ugly man, but quite a gentleman; and that he treated me kindly,\nand I was content.", "Then I went on to describe to her the gay company\nthat had lately been staying at the house; and to these details Bessie\nlistened with interest: they were precisely of the kind she relished.", "In such conversation an hour was soon gone: Bessie restored to me my\nbonnet, &c., and, accompanied by her, I quitted the lodge for the hall.", "It was also accompanied by her that I had, nearly nine years ago, walked\ndown the path I was now ascending.", "On a dark, misty, raw morning in\nJanuary, I had left a hostile roof with a desperate and embittered\nheart--a sense of outlawry and almost of reprobation--to seek the chilly\nharbourage of Lowood: that bourne so far away and unexplored.", "The same\nhostile roof now again rose before me: my prospects were doubtful yet;\nand I had yet an aching heart.", "I still felt as a wanderer on the face of\nthe earth; but I experienced firmer trust in myself and my own powers,\nand less withering dread of oppression.", "The gaping wound of my wrongs,\ntoo, was now quite healed; and the flame of resentment extinguished.", "\"You shall go into the breakfast-room first,\" said Bessie, as she\npreceded me through the hall; \"the young ladies will be there.\"", "In another moment I was within that apartment.", "There was every article\nof furniture looking just as it did on the morning I was first introduced\nto Mr. Brocklehurst: the very rug he had stood upon still covered the\nhearth.", "Glancing at the bookcases, I thought I could distinguish the two\nvolumes of Bewick's British Birds occupying their old place on the third\nshelf, and Gulliver's Travels and the Arabian Nights ranged just above.", "The inanimate objects were not changed; but the living things had altered\npast recognition.", "Two young ladies appeared before me; one very tall, almost as tall as\nMiss Ingram--very thin too, with a sallow face and severe mien.", "There\nwas something ascetic in her look, which was augmented by the extreme\nplainness of a straight-skirted, black, stuff dress, a starched linen\ncollar, hair combed away from the temples, and the nun-like ornament of a\nstring of ebony beads and a crucifix.", "This I felt sure was Eliza, though\nI could trace little resemblance to her former self in that elongated and\ncolourless visage.", "The other was as certainly Georgiana: but not the Georgiana I\nremembered--the slim and fairy-like girl of eleven.", "This was a\nfull-blown, very plump damsel, fair as waxwork, with handsome and regular\nfeatures, languishing blue eyes, and ringleted yellow hair.", "The hue of\nher dress was black too; but its fashion was so different from her\nsister's--so much more flowing and becoming--it looked as stylish as the\nother's looked puritanical.", "In each of the sisters there was one trait of the mother--and only one;\nthe thin and pallid elder daughter had her parent's Cairngorm eye: the\nblooming and luxuriant younger girl had her contour of jaw and\nchin--perhaps a little softened, but still imparting an indescribable\nhardness to the countenance otherwise so voluptuous and buxom.", "Both ladies, as I advanced, rose to welcome me, and both addressed me by\nthe name of \"Miss Eyre.\"", "Eliza's greeting was delivered in a short,\nabrupt voice, without a smile; and then she sat down again, fixed her\neyes on the fire, and seemed to forget me.", "Georgiana added to her \"How\nd'ye do?\"", "several commonplaces about my journey, the weather, and so on,\nuttered in rather a drawling tone: and accompanied by sundry side-glances\nthat measured me from head to foot--now traversing the folds of my drab\nmerino pelisse, and now lingering on the plain trimming of my cottage\nbonnet.", "Young ladies have a remarkable way of letting you know that they\nthink you a \"quiz\" without actually saying the words.", "A certain\nsuperciliousness of look, coolness of manner, nonchalance of tone,\nexpress fully their sentiments on the point, without committing them by\nany positive rudeness in word or deed.", "A sneer, however, whether covert or open, had now no longer that power\nover me it once possessed: as I sat between my cousins, I was surprised\nto find how easy I felt under the total neglect of the one and the semi-\nsarcastic attentions of the other--Eliza did not mortify, nor Georgiana\nruffle me.", "The fact was, I had other things to think about; within the\nlast few months feelings had been stirred in me so much more potent than\nany they could raise--pains and pleasures so much more acute and\nexquisite had been excited than any it was in their power to inflict or\nbestow--that their airs gave me no concern either for good or bad.", "\"How is Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana, who\nthought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an unexpected\nliberty.", "\"Mrs. Reed?", "Ah!", "mama, you mean; she is extremely poorly: I doubt if you\ncan see her to-night.\"", "\"If,\" said I, \"you would just step upstairs and tell her I am come, I\nshould be much obliged to you.\"", "Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes wild and wide.", "\"I\nknow she had a particular wish to see me,\" I added, \"and I would not\ndefer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely necessary.\"", "\"Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening,\" remarked Eliza.", "I soon\nrose, quietly took off my bonnet and gloves, uninvited, and said I would\njust step out to Bessie--who was, I dared say, in the kitchen--and ask\nher to ascertain whether Mrs. Reed was disposed to receive me or not to-\nnight.", "I went, and having found Bessie and despatched her on my errand,\nI proceeded to take further measures.", "It had heretofore been my habit\nalways to shrink from arrogance: received as I had been to-day, I should,\na year ago, have resolved to quit Gateshead the very next morning; now,\nit was disclosed to me all at once that that would be a foolish plan.", "I\nhad taken a journey of a hundred miles to see my aunt, and I must stay\nwith her till she was better--or dead: as to her daughters' pride or\nfolly, I must put it on one side, make myself independent of it.", "So I\naddressed the housekeeper; asked her to show me a room, told her I should\nprobably be a visitor here for a week or two, had my trunk conveyed to my\nchamber, and followed it thither myself: I met Bessie on the landing.", "\"Missis is awake,\" said she; \"I have told her you are here: come and let\nus see if she will know you.\"", "I did not need to be guided to the well-known room, to which I had so\noften been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days.", "I\nhastened before Bessie; I softly opened the door: a shaded light stood on\nthe table, for it was now getting dark.", "There was the great four-post\nbed with amber hangings as of old; there the toilet-table, the armchair,\nand the footstool, at which I had a hundred times been sentenced to\nkneel, to ask pardon for offences by me uncommitted.", "I looked into a\ncertain corner near, half-expecting to see the slim outline of a once\ndreaded switch which used to lurk there, waiting to leap out imp-like and\nlace my quivering palm or shrinking neck.", "I approached the bed; I opened\nthe curtains and leant over the high-piled pillows.", "Well did I remember Mrs. Reed's face, and I eagerly sought the familiar\nimage.", "It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of vengeance\nand hushes the promptings of rage and aversion.", "I had left this woman in\nbitterness and hate, and I came back to her now with no other emotion\nthan a sort of ruth for her great sufferings, and a strong yearning to\nforget and forgive all injuries--to be reconciled and clasp hands in\namity.", "The well-known face was there: stern, relentless as ever--there was that\npeculiar eye which nothing could melt, and the somewhat raised,\nimperious, despotic eyebrow.", "How often had it lowered on me menace and\nhate!", "and how the recollection of childhood's terrors and sorrows revived\nas I traced its harsh line now!", "And yet I stooped down and kissed her:\nshe looked at me.", "\"Is this Jane Eyre?\"", "she said.", "\"Yes, Aunt Reed.", "How are you, dear aunt?\"", "I had once vowed that I would never call her aunt again: I thought it no\nsin to forget and break that vow now.", "My fingers had fastened on her\nhand which lay outside the sheet: had she pressed mine kindly, I should\nat that moment have experienced true pleasure.", "But unimpressionable\nnatures are not so soon softened, nor are natural antipathies so readily\neradicated.", "Mrs. Reed took her hand away, and, turning her face rather\nfrom me, she remarked that the night was warm.", "Again she regarded me so\nicily, I felt at once that her opinion of me--her feeling towards me--was\nunchanged and unchangeable.", "I knew by her stony eye--opaque to\ntenderness, indissoluble to tears--that she was resolved to consider me\nbad to the last; because to believe me good would give her no generous\npleasure: only a sense of mortification.", "I felt pain, and then I felt ire; and then I felt a determination to\nsubdue her--to be her mistress in spite both of her nature and her will.", "My tears had risen, just as in childhood: I ordered them back to their\nsource.", "I brought a chair to the bed-head: I sat down and leaned over\nthe pillow.", "\"You sent for me,\" I said, \"and I am here; and it is my intention to stay\ntill I see how you get on.\"", "\"Oh, of course!", "You have seen my daughters?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Well, you may tell them I wish you to stay till I can talk some things\nover with you I have on my mind: to-night it is too late, and I have a\ndifficulty in recalling them.", "But there was something I wished to\nsay--let me see--\"\n\nThe wandering look and changed utterance told what wreck had taken place\nin her once vigorous frame.", "Turning restlessly, she drew the bedclothes\nround her; my elbow, resting on a corner of the quilt, fixed it down: she\nwas at once irritated.", "\"Sit up!\"", "said she; \"don't annoy me with holding the clothes fast.", "Are\nyou Jane Eyre?\"", "\"I am Jane Eyre.\"", "\"I have had more trouble with that child than any one would believe.", "Such\na burden to be left on my hands--and so much annoyance as she caused me,\ndaily and hourly, with her incomprehensible disposition, and her sudden\nstarts of temper, and her continual, unnatural watchings of one's\nmovements!", "I declare she talked to me once like something mad, or like a\nfiend--no child ever spoke or looked as she did; I was glad to get her\naway from the house.", "What did they do with her at Lowood?", "The fever\nbroke out there, and many of the pupils died.", "She, however, did not die:\nbut I said she did--I wish she had died!\"", "\"A strange wish, Mrs. Reed; why do you hate her so?\"", "\"I had a dislike to her mother always; for she was my husband's only\nsister, and a great favourite with him: he opposed the family's disowning\nher when she made her low marriage; and when news came of her death, he\nwept like a simpleton.", "He would send for the baby; though I entreated\nhim rather to put it out to nurse and pay for its maintenance.", "I hated\nit the first time I set my eyes on it--a sickly, whining, pining thing!", "It would wail in its cradle all night long--not screaming heartily like\nany other child, but whimpering and moaning.", "Reed pitied it; and he used\nto nurse it and notice it as if it had been his own: more, indeed, than\nhe ever noticed his own at that age.", "He would try to make my children\nfriendly to the little beggar: the darlings could not bear it, and he was\nangry with them when they showed their dislike.", "In his last illness, he\nhad it brought continually to his bedside; and but an hour before he\ndied, he bound me by vow to keep the creature.", "I would as soon have been\ncharged with a pauper brat out of a workhouse: but he was weak, naturally\nweak.", "John does not at all resemble his father, and I am glad of it:\nJohn is like me and like my brothers--he is quite a Gibson.", "Oh, I wish\nhe would cease tormenting me with letters for money?", "I have no more\nmoney to give him: we are getting poor.", "I must send away half the\nservants and shut up part of the house; or let it off.", "I can never\nsubmit to do that--yet how are we to get on?", "Two-thirds of my income\ngoes in paying the interest of mortgages.", "John gambles dreadfully, and\nalways loses--poor boy!", "He is beset by sharpers: John is sunk and\ndegraded--his look is frightful--I feel ashamed for him when I see him.\"", "She was getting much excited.", "\"I think I had better leave her now,\" said\nI to Bessie, who stood on the other side of the bed.", "\"Perhaps you had, Miss: but she often talks in this way towards night--in\nthe morning she is calmer.\"", "I rose.", "\"Stop!\"", "exclaimed Mrs. Reed, \"there is another thing I wished to\nsay.", "He threatens me--he continually threatens me with his own death, or\nmine: and I dream sometimes that I see him laid out with a great wound in\nhis throat, or with a swollen and blackened face.", "I am come to a strange\npass: I have heavy troubles.", "What is to be done?", "How is the money to be\nhad?\"", "Bessie now endeavoured to persuade her to take a sedative draught: she\nsucceeded with difficulty.", "Soon after, Mrs. Reed grew more composed, and\nsank into a dozing state.", "I then left her.", "More than ten days elapsed before I had again any conversation with her.", "She continued either delirious or lethargic; and the doctor forbade\neverything which could painfully excite her.", "Meantime, I got on as well\nas I could with Georgiana and Eliza.", "They were very cold, indeed, at\nfirst.", "Eliza would sit half the day sewing, reading, or writing, and\nscarcely utter a word either to me or her sister.", "Georgiana would\nchatter nonsense to her canary bird by the hour, and take no notice of\nme.", "But I was determined not to seem at a loss for occupation or\namusement: I had brought my drawing materials with me, and they served me\nfor both.", "Provided with a case of pencils, and some sheets of paper, I used to take\na seat apart from them, near the window, and busy myself in sketching\nfancy vignettes, representing any scene that happened momentarily to\nshape itself in the ever-shifting kaleidoscope of imagination: a glimpse\nof sea between two rocks; the rising moon, and a ship crossing its disk;\na group of reeds and water-flags, and a naiad's head, crowned with lotus-\nflowers, rising out of them; an elf sitting in a hedge-sparrow's nest,\nunder a wreath of hawthorn-bloom.", "One morning I fell to sketching a face: what sort of a face it was to be,\nI did not care or know.", "I took a soft black pencil, gave it a broad\npoint, and worked away.", "Soon I had traced on the paper a broad and\nprominent forehead and a square lower outline of visage: that contour\ngave me pleasure; my fingers proceeded actively to fill it with features.", "Strongly-marked horizontal eyebrows must be traced under that brow; then\nfollowed, naturally, a well-defined nose, with a straight ridge and full\nnostrils; then a flexible-looking mouth, by no means narrow; then a firm\nchin, with a decided cleft down the middle of it: of course, some black\nwhiskers were wanted, and some jetty hair, tufted on the temples, and\nwaved above the forehead.", "Now for the eyes: I had left them to the last,\nbecause they required the most careful working.", "I drew them large; I\nshaped them well: the eyelashes I traced long and sombre; the irids\nlustrous and large.", "\"Good!", "but not quite the thing,\" I thought, as I\nsurveyed the effect: \"they want more force and spirit;\" and I wrought the\nshades blacker, that the lights might flash more brilliantly--a happy\ntouch or two secured success.", "There, I had a friend's face under my\ngaze; and what did it signify that those young ladies turned their backs\non me?", "I looked at it; I smiled at the speaking likeness: I was absorbed\nand content.", "\"Is that a portrait of some one you know?\"", "asked Eliza, who had\napproached me unnoticed.", "I responded that it was merely a fancy head,\nand hurried it beneath the other sheets.", "Of course, I lied: it was, in\nfact, a very faithful representation of Mr. Rochester.", "But what was that\nto her, or to any one but myself?", "Georgiana also advanced to look.", "The\nother drawings pleased her much, but she called that \"an ugly man.\"", "They\nboth seemed surprised at my skill.", "I offered to sketch their portraits;\nand each, in turn, sat for a pencil outline.", "Then Georgiana produced her\nalbum.", "I promised to contribute a water-colour drawing: this put her at\nonce into good humour.", "She proposed a walk in the grounds.", "Before we\nhad been out two hours, we were deep in a confidential conversation: she\nhad favoured me with a description of the brilliant winter she had spent\nin London two seasons ago--of the admiration she had there excited--the\nattention she had received; and I even got hints of the titled conquest\nshe had made.", "In the course of the afternoon and evening these hints\nwere enlarged on: various soft conversations were reported, and\nsentimental scenes represented; and, in short, a volume of a novel of\nfashionable life was that day improvised by her for my benefit.", "The\ncommunications were renewed from day to day: they always ran on the same\ntheme--herself, her loves, and woes.", "It was strange she never once\nadverted either to her mother's illness, or her brother's death, or the\npresent gloomy state of the family prospects.", "Her mind seemed wholly\ntaken up with reminiscences of past gaiety, and aspirations after\ndissipations to come.", "She passed about five minutes each day in her\nmother's sick-room, and no more.", "Eliza still spoke little: she had evidently no time to talk.", "I never saw\na busier person than she seemed to be; yet it was difficult to say what\nshe did: or rather, to discover any result of her diligence.", "She had an\nalarm to call her up early.", "I know not how she occupied herself before\nbreakfast, but after that meal she divided her time into regular\nportions, and each hour had its allotted task.", "Three times a day she\nstudied a little book, which I found, on inspection, was a Common Prayer\nBook.", "I asked her once what was the great attraction of that volume, and\nshe said, \"the Rubric.\"", "Three hours she gave to stitching, with gold\nthread, the border of a square crimson cloth, almost large enough for a\ncarpet.", "In answer to my inquiries after the use of this article, she\ninformed me it was a covering for the altar of a new church lately\nerected near Gateshead.", "Two hours she devoted to her diary; two to\nworking by herself in the kitchen-garden; and one to the regulation of\nher accounts.", "She seemed to want no company; no conversation.", "I believe\nshe was happy in her way: this routine sufficed for her; and nothing\nannoyed her so much as the occurrence of any incident which forced her to\nvary its clockwork regularity.", "She told me one evening, when more disposed to be communicative than\nusual, that John's conduct, and the threatened ruin of the family, had\nbeen a source of profound affliction to her: but she had now, she said,\nsettled her mind, and formed her resolution.", "Her own fortune she had\ntaken care to secure; and when her mother died--and it was wholly\nimprobable, she tranquilly remarked, that she should either recover or\nlinger long--she would execute a long-cherished project: seek a\nretirement where punctual habits would be permanently secured from\ndisturbance, and place safe barriers between herself and a frivolous\nworld.", "I asked if Georgiana would accompany her.", "\"Of course not.", "Georgiana and she had nothing in common: they never had\nhad.", "She would not be burdened with her society for any consideration.", "Georgiana should take her own course; and she, Eliza, would take hers.\"", "Georgiana, when not unburdening her heart to me, spent most of her time\nin lying on the sofa, fretting about the dulness of the house, and\nwishing over and over again that her aunt Gibson would send her an\ninvitation up to town.", "\"It would be so much better,\" she said, \"if she\ncould only get out of the way for a month or two, till all was over.\"", "I\ndid not ask what she meant by \"all being over,\" but I suppose she\nreferred to the expected decease of her mother and the gloomy sequel of\nfuneral rites.", "Eliza generally took no more notice of her sister's\nindolence and complaints than if no such murmuring, lounging object had\nbeen before her.", "One day, however, as she put away her account-book and\nunfolded her embroidery, she suddenly took her up thus--\n\n\"Georgiana, a more vain and absurd animal than you was certainly never\nallowed to cumber the earth.", "You had no right to be born, for you make\nno use of life.", "Instead of living for, in, and with yourself, as a\nreasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some\nother person's strength: if no one can be found willing to burden her or\nhimself with such a fat, weak, puffy, useless thing, you cry out that you\nare ill-treated, neglected, miserable.", "Then, too, existence for you must\nbe a scene of continual change and excitement, or else the world is a\ndungeon: you must be admired, you must be courted, you must be\nflattered--you must have music, dancing, and society--or you languish,\nyou die away.", "Have you no sense to devise a system which will make you\nindependent of all efforts, and all wills, but your own?", "Take one day;\nshare it into sections; to each section apportion its task: leave no\nstray unemployed quarters of an hour, ten minutes, five minutes--include\nall; do each piece of business in its turn with method, with rigid\nregularity.", "The day will close almost before you are aware it has begun;\nand you are indebted to no one for helping you to get rid of one vacant\nmoment: you have had to seek no one's company, conversation, sympathy,\nforbearance; you have lived, in short, as an independent being ought to\ndo.", "Take this advice: the first and last I shall offer you; then you\nwill not want me or any one else, happen what may.", "Neglect it--go on as\nheretofore, craving, whining, and idling--and suffer the results of your\nidiocy, however bad and insuperable they may be.", "I tell you this\nplainly; and listen: for though I shall no more repeat what I am now\nabout to say, I shall steadily act on it.", "After my mother's death, I\nwash my hands of you: from the day her coffin is carried to the vault in\nGateshead Church, you and I will be as separate as if we had never known\neach other.", "You need not think that because we chanced to be born of the\nsame parents, I shall suffer you to fasten me down by even the feeblest\nclaim: I can tell you this--if the whole human race, ourselves excepted,\nwere swept away, and we two stood alone on the earth, I would leave you\nin the old world, and betake myself to the new.\"", "She closed her lips.", "\"You might have spared yourself the trouble of delivering that tirade,\"\nanswered Georgiana.", "\"Everybody knows you are the most selfish, heartless\ncreature in existence: and _I_ know your spiteful hatred towards me: I\nhave had a specimen of it before in the trick you played me about Lord\nEdwin Vere: you could not bear me to be raised above you, to have a\ntitle, to be received into circles where you dare not show your face, and\nso you acted the spy and informer, and ruined my prospects for ever.\"", "Georgiana took out her handkerchief and blew her nose for an hour\nafterwards; Eliza sat cold, impassable, and assiduously industrious.", "True, generous feeling is made small account of by some, but here were\ntwo natures rendered, the one intolerably acrid, the other despicably\nsavourless for the want of it.", "Feeling without judgment is a washy\ndraught indeed; but judgment untempered by feeling is too bitter and\nhusky a morsel for human deglutition.", "It was a wet and windy afternoon: Georgiana had fallen asleep on the sofa\nover the perusal of a novel; Eliza was gone to attend a saint's-day\nservice at the new church--for in matters of religion she was a rigid\nformalist: no weather ever prevented the punctual discharge of what she\nconsidered her devotional duties; fair or foul, she went to church thrice\nevery Sunday, and as often on week-days as there were prayers.", "I bethought myself to go upstairs and see how the dying woman sped, who\nlay there almost unheeded: the very servants paid her but a remittent\nattention: the hired nurse, being little looked after, would slip out of\nthe room whenever she could.", "Bessie was faithful; but she had her own\nfamily to mind, and could only come occasionally to the hall.", "I found\nthe sick-room unwatched, as I had expected: no nurse was there; the\npatient lay still, and seemingly lethargic; her livid face sunk in the\npillows: the fire was dying in the grate.", "I renewed the fuel,\nre-arranged the bedclothes, gazed awhile on her who could not now gaze on\nme, and then I moved away to the window.", "The rain beat strongly against the panes, the wind blew tempestuously:\n\"One lies there,\" I thought, \"who will soon be beyond the war of earthly\nelements.", "Whither will that spirit--now struggling to quit its material\ntenement--flit when at length released?\"", "In pondering the great mystery, I thought of Helen Burns, recalled her\ndying words--her faith--her doctrine of the equality of disembodied\nsouls.", "I was still listening in thought to her well-remembered\ntones--still picturing her pale and spiritual aspect, her wasted face and\nsublime gaze, as she lay on her placid deathbed, and whispered her\nlonging to be restored to her divine Father's bosom--when a feeble voice\nmurmured from the couch behind: \"Who is that?\"", "I knew Mrs. Reed had not spoken for days: was she reviving?", "I went up to\nher.", "\"It is I, Aunt Reed.\"", "\"Who--I?\"", "was her answer.", "\"Who are you?\"", "looking at me with surprise and\na sort of alarm, but still not wildly.", "\"You are quite a stranger to\nme--where is Bessie?\"", "\"She is at the lodge, aunt.\"", "\"Aunt,\" she repeated.", "\"Who calls me aunt?", "You are not one of the\nGibsons; and yet I know you--that face, and the eyes and forehead, are\nquiet familiar to me: you are like--why, you are like Jane Eyre!\"", "I said nothing: I was afraid of occasioning some shock by declaring my\nidentity.", "\"Yet,\" said she, \"I am afraid it is a mistake: my thoughts deceive me.", "I\nwished to see Jane Eyre, and I fancy a likeness where none exists:\nbesides, in eight years she must be so changed.\"", "I now gently assured\nher that I was the person she supposed and desired me to be: and seeing\nthat I was understood, and that her senses were quite collected, I\nexplained how Bessie had sent her husband to fetch me from Thornfield.", "\"I am very ill, I know,\" she said ere long.", "\"I was trying to turn myself\na few minutes since, and find I cannot move a limb.", "It is as well I\nshould ease my mind before I die: what we think little of in health,\nburdens us at such an hour as the present is to me.", "Is the nurse here?", "or is there no one in the room but you?\"", "I assured her we were alone.", "\"Well, I have twice done you a wrong which I regret now.", "One was in\nbreaking the promise which I gave my husband to bring you up as my own\nchild; the other--\" she stopped.", "\"After all, it is of no great\nimportance, perhaps,\" she murmured to herself: \"and then I may get\nbetter; and to humble myself so to her is painful.\"", "She made an effort to alter her position, but failed: her face changed;\nshe seemed to experience some inward sensation--the precursor, perhaps,\nof the last pang.", "\"Well, I must get it over.", "Eternity is before me: I had better tell\nher.--Go to my dressing-case, open it, and take out a letter you will see\nthere.\"", "I obeyed her directions.", "\"Read the letter,\" she said.", "It was short, and thus conceived:--\n\n \"Madam,--Will you have the goodness to send me the address of my\n niece, Jane Eyre, and to tell me how she is?", "It is my intention to\n write shortly and desire her to come to me at Madeira.", "Providence has\n blessed my endeavours to secure a competency; and as I am unmarried\n and childless, I wish to adopt her during my life, and bequeath her at\n my death whatever I may have to leave.--I am, Madam, &c., &c.,\n\n \"JOHN EYRE, Madeira.\"", "It was dated three years back.", "\"Why did I never hear of this?\"", "I asked.", "\"Because I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a hand in\nlifting you to prosperity.", "I could not forget your conduct to me,\nJane--the fury with which you once turned on me; the tone in which you\ndeclared you abhorred me the worst of anybody in the world; the\nunchildlike look and voice with which you affirmed that the very thought\nof me made you sick, and asserted that I had treated you with miserable\ncruelty.", "I could not forget my own sensations when you thus started up\nand poured out the venom of your mind: I felt fear as if an animal that I\nhad struck or pushed had looked up at me with human eyes and cursed me in\na man's voice.--Bring me some water!", "Oh, make haste!\"", "\"Dear Mrs. Reed,\" said I, as I offered her the draught she required,\n\"think no more of all this, let it pass away from your mind.", "Forgive me\nfor my passionate language: I was a child then; eight, nine years have\npassed since that day.\"", "She heeded nothing of what I said; but when she had tasted the water and\ndrawn breath, she went on thus--\n\n\"I tell you I could not forget it; and I took my revenge: for you to be\nadopted by your uncle, and placed in a state of ease and comfort, was\nwhat I could not endure.", "I wrote to him; I said I was sorry for his\ndisappointment, but Jane Eyre was dead: she had died of typhus fever at\nLowood.", "Now act as you please: write and contradict my assertion--expose\nmy falsehood as soon as you like.", "You were born, I think, to be my\ntorment: my last hour is racked by the recollection of a deed which, but\nfor you, I should never have been tempted to commit.\"", "\"If you could but be persuaded to think no more of it, aunt, and to\nregard me with kindness and forgiveness\"\n\n\"You have a very bad disposition,\" said she, \"and one to this day I feel\nit impossible to understand: how for nine years you could be patient and\nquiescent under any treatment, and in the tenth break out all fire and\nviolence, I can never comprehend.\"", "\"My disposition is not so bad as you think: I am passionate, but not\nvindictive.", "Many a time, as a little child, I should have been glad to\nlove you if you would have let me; and I long earnestly to be reconciled\nto you now: kiss me, aunt.\"", "I approached my cheek to her lips: she would not touch it.", "She said I\noppressed her by leaning over the bed, and again demanded water.", "As I\nlaid her down--for I raised her and supported her on my arm while she\ndrank--I covered her ice-cold and clammy hand with mine: the feeble\nfingers shrank from my touch--the glazing eyes shunned my gaze.", "\"Love me, then, or hate me, as you will,\" I said at last, \"you have my\nfull and free forgiveness: ask now for God's, and be at peace.\"", "Poor, suffering woman!", "it was too late for her to make now the effort to\nchange her habitual frame of mind: living, she had ever hated me--dying,\nshe must hate me still.", "The nurse now entered, and Bessie followed.", "I yet lingered half-an-hour\nlonger, hoping to see some sign of amity: but she gave none.", "She was\nfast relapsing into stupor; nor did her mind again rally: at twelve\no'clock that night she died.", "I was not present to close her eyes, nor\nwere either of her daughters.", "They came to tell us the next morning that\nall was over.", "She was by that time laid out.", "Eliza and I went to look\nat her: Georgiana, who had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared\nnot go.", "There was stretched Sarah Reed's once robust and active frame,\nrigid and still: her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid; her brow\nand strong traits wore yet the impress of her inexorable soul.", "A strange\nand solemn object was that corpse to me.", "I gazed on it with gloom and\npain: nothing soft, nothing sweet, nothing pitying, or hopeful, or\nsubduing did it inspire; only a grating anguish for _her_ woes--not _my_\nloss--and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a\nform.", "Eliza surveyed her parent calmly.", "After a silence of some minutes she\nobserved--\n\n\"With her constitution she should have lived to a good old age: her life\nwas shortened by trouble.\"", "And then a spasm constricted her mouth for an\ninstant: as it passed away she turned and left the room, and so did I.", "Neither of us had dropt a tear." ]

[ "Sympathies, I believe, exist (for\ninstance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives\nasserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the unity of the source to\nwhich each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal comprehension.", "The saying might have worn out of my memory,\nhad not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix\nit there.", "Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during\nthe past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not\nbrought with it a dream of an infant, which I sometimes hushed in my\narms, sometimes dandled on my knee, sometimes watched playing with\ndaisies on a lawn, or again, dabbling its hands in running water.", "The same\nhostile roof now again rose before me: my prospects were doubtful yet;\nand I had yet an aching heart.", "So I\naddressed the housekeeper; asked her to show me a room, told her I should\nprobably be a visitor here for a week or two, had my trunk conveyed to my\nchamber, and followed it thither myself: I met Bessie on the landing.", "I did not need to be guided to the well-known room, to which I had so\noften been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days.", "My tears had risen, just as in childhood: I ordered them back to their\nsource.", "said she; \"don't annoy me with holding the clothes fast.", "There, I had a friend's face under my\ngaze; and what did it signify that those young ladies turned their backs\non me?", "Eliza and I went to look\nat her: Georgiana, who had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared\nnot go." ]

[ "I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana, who\nthought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an unexpected\nliberty.", "Tea ready, I was going to approach the table; but she desired me to sit\nstill, quite in her old peremptory tones.", "The gaping wound of my wrongs,\ntoo, was now quite healed; and the flame of resentment extinguished.", "I did not need to be guided to the well-known room, to which I had so\noften been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days.", "I can never\nsubmit to do that--yet how are we to get on?", "My fingers had fastened on her\nhand which lay outside the sheet: had she pressed mine kindly, I should\nat that moment have experienced true pleasure.", "Her mind seemed wholly\ntaken up with reminiscences of past gaiety, and aspirations after\ndissipations to come.", "But unimpressionable\nnatures are not so soon softened, nor are natural antipathies so readily\neradicated.", "Soon after, Mrs. Reed grew more composed, and\nsank into a dozing state.", "She said I\noppressed her by leaning over the bed, and again demanded water." ]

[ "The fact was, I had other things to think about; within the\nlast few months feelings had been stirred in me so much more potent than\nany they could raise--pains and pleasures so much more acute and\nexquisite had been excited than any it was in their power to inflict or\nbestow--that their airs gave me no concern either for good or bad.", "\"How is Mrs.", "Reed?\"", "I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana, who\nthought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an unexpected\nliberty.", "\"Mrs. Reed?", "Ah!", "mama, you mean; she is extremely poorly: I doubt if you\ncan see her to-night.\"", "\"If,\" said I, \"you would just step upstairs and tell her I am come, I\nshould be much obliged to you.\"", "Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes wild and wide.", "\"I\nknow she had a particular wish to see me,\" I added, \"and I would not\ndefer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely necessary.\"", "\"Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening,\" remarked Eliza." ]

[ "\n\nPresentiments are strange things!", "and so are sympathies; and so are\nsigns; and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not\nyet found the key.", "I never laughed at presentiments in my life, because\nI have had strange ones of my own.", "Sympathies, I believe, exist (for\ninstance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives\nasserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the unity of the source to\nwhich each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal comprehension.", "And signs, for aught we know, may be but the sympathies of Nature with\nman.", "When I was a little girl, only six years old, I one night heard Bessie\nLeaven say to Martha Abbot that she had been dreaming about a little\nchild; and that to dream of children was a sure sign of trouble, either\nto one's self or one's kin.", "The saying might have worn out of my memory,\nhad not a circumstance immediately followed which served indelibly to fix\nit there.", "The next day Bessie was sent for home to the deathbed of her\nlittle sister.", "Of late I had often recalled this saying and this incident; for during\nthe past week scarcely a night had gone over my couch that had not\nbrought with it a dream of an infant, which I sometimes hushed in my\narms, sometimes dandled on my knee, sometimes watched playing with\ndaisies on a lawn, or again, dabbling its hands in running water.", "It was\na wailing child this night, and a laughing one the next: now it nestled\nclose to me, and now it ran from me; but whatever mood the apparition\nevinced, whatever aspect it wore, it failed not for seven successive\nnights to meet me the moment I entered the land of slumber.", "They came to tell us the next morning that\nall was over.", "She was by that time laid out.", "Eliza and I went to look\nat her: Georgiana, who had burst out into loud weeping, said she dared\nnot go.", "There was stretched Sarah Reed's once robust and active frame,\nrigid and still: her eye of flint was covered with its cold lid; her brow\nand strong traits wore yet the impress of her inexorable soul.", "A strange\nand solemn object was that corpse to me.", "I gazed on it with gloom and\npain: nothing soft, nothing sweet, nothing pitying, or hopeful, or\nsubduing did it inspire; only a grating anguish for _her_ woes--not _my_\nloss--and a sombre tearless dismay at the fearfulness of death in such a\nform.", "Eliza surveyed her parent calmly.", "After a silence of some minutes she\nobserved--\n\n\"With her constitution she should have lived to a good old age: her life\nwas shortened by trouble.\"", "And then a spasm constricted her mouth for an\ninstant: as it passed away she turned and left the room, and so did I.", "Neither of us had dropt a tear." ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester had given me but one week's leave of absence: yet a month\nelapsed before I quitted Gateshead.", "I wished to leave immediately after\nthe funeral, but Georgiana entreated me to stay till she could get off to\nLondon, whither she was now at last invited by her uncle, Mr. Gibson, who\nhad come down to direct his sister's interment and settle the family\naffairs.", "Georgiana said she dreaded being left alone with Eliza; from\nher she got neither sympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor\naid in her preparations; so I bore with her feeble-minded wailings and\nselfish lamentations as well as I could, and did my best in sewing for\nher and packing her dresses.", "It is true, that while I worked, she would\nidle; and I thought to myself, \"If you and I were destined to live always\ntogether, cousin, we would commence matters on a different footing.", "I\nshould not settle tamely down into being the forbearing party; I should\nassign you your share of labour, and compel you to accomplish it, or else\nit should be left undone: I should insist, also, on your keeping some of\nthose drawling, half-insincere complaints hushed in your own breast.", "It\nis only because our connection happens to be very transitory, and comes\nat a peculiarly mournful season, that I consent thus to render it so\npatient and compliant on my part.\"", "At last I saw Georgiana off; but now it was Eliza's turn to request me to\nstay another week.", "Her plans required all her time and attention, she\nsaid; she was about to depart for some unknown bourne; and all day long\nshe stayed in her own room, her door bolted within, filling trunks,\nemptying drawers, burning papers, and holding no communication with any\none.", "She wished me to look after the house, to see callers, and answer\nnotes of condolence.", "One morning she told me I was at liberty.", "\"And,\" she added, \"I am\nobliged to you for your valuable services and discreet conduct!", "There is\nsome difference between living with such an one as you and with\nGeorgiana: you perform your own part in life and burden no one.", "To-morrow,\" she continued, \"I set out for the Continent.", "I shall take up\nmy abode in a religious house near Lisle--a nunnery you would call it;\nthere I shall be quiet and unmolested.", "I shall devote myself for a time\nto the examination of the Roman Catholic dogmas, and to a careful study\nof the workings of their system: if I find it to be, as I half suspect it\nis, the one best calculated to ensure the doing of all things decently\nand in order, I shall embrace the tenets of Rome and probably take the\nveil.\"", "I neither expressed surprise at this resolution nor attempted to dissuade\nher from it.", "\"The vocation will fit you to a hair,\" I thought: \"much\ngood may it do you!\"", "When we parted, she said: \"Good-bye, cousin Jane Eyre; I wish you well:\nyou have some sense.\"", "I then returned: \"You are not without sense, cousin Eliza; but what you\nhave, I suppose, in another year will be walled up alive in a French\nconvent.", "However, it is not my business, and so it suits you, I don't\nmuch care.\"", "\"You are in the right,\" said she; and with these words we each went our\nseparate way.", "As I shall not have occasion to refer either to her or her\nsister again, I may as well mention here, that Georgiana made an\nadvantageous match with a wealthy worn-out man of fashion, and that Eliza\nactually took the veil, and is at this day superior of the convent where\nshe passed the period of her novitiate, and which she endowed with her\nfortune.", "How people feel when they are returning home from an absence, long or\nshort, I did not know: I had never experienced the sensation.", "I had\nknown what it was to come back to Gateshead when a child after a long\nwalk, to be scolded for looking cold or gloomy; and later, what it was to\ncome back from church to Lowood, to long for a plenteous meal and a good\nfire, and to be unable to get either.", "Neither of these returnings was\nvery pleasant or desirable: no magnet drew me to a given point,\nincreasing in its strength of attraction the nearer I came.", "The return\nto Thornfield was yet to be tried.", "My journey seemed tedious--very tedious: fifty miles one day, a night\nspent at an inn; fifty miles the next day.", "During the first twelve hours\nI thought of Mrs. Reed in her last moments; I saw her disfigured and\ndiscoloured face, and heard her strangely altered voice.", "I mused on the\nfuneral day, the coffin, the hearse, the black train of tenants and\nservants--few was the number of relatives--the gaping vault, the silent\nchurch, the solemn service.", "Then I thought of Eliza and Georgiana; I\nbeheld one the cynosure of a ball-room, the other the inmate of a convent\ncell; and I dwelt on and analysed their separate peculiarities of person\nand character.", "The evening arrival at the great town of--scattered these\nthoughts; night gave them quite another turn: laid down on my traveller's\nbed, I left reminiscence for anticipation.", "I was going back to Thornfield: but how long was I to stay there?", "Not\nlong; of that I was sure.", "I had heard from Mrs. Fairfax in the interim\nof my absence: the party at the hall was dispersed; Mr. Rochester had\nleft for London three weeks ago, but he was then expected to return in a\nfortnight.", "Mrs. Fairfax surmised that he was gone to make arrangements\nfor his wedding, as he had talked of purchasing a new carriage: she said\nthe idea of his marrying Miss Ingram still seemed strange to her; but\nfrom what everybody said, and from what she had herself seen, she could\nno longer doubt that the event would shortly take place.", "\"You would be\nstrangely incredulous if you did doubt it,\" was my mental comment.", "\"I\ndon't doubt it.\"", "The question followed, \"Where was I to go?\"", "I dreamt of Miss Ingram all\nthe night: in a vivid morning dream I saw her closing the gates of\nThornfield against me and pointing me out another road; and Mr. Rochester\nlooked on with his arms folded--smiling sardonically, as it seemed, at\nboth her and me.", "I had not notified to Mrs. Fairfax the exact day of my return; for I did\nnot wish either car or carriage to meet me at Millcote.", "I proposed to\nwalk the distance quietly by myself; and very quietly, after leaving my\nbox in the ostler's care, did I slip away from the George Inn, about six\no'clock of a June evening, and take the old road to Thornfield: a road\nwhich lay chiefly through fields, and was now little frequented.", "It was not a bright or splendid summer evening, though fair and soft: the\nhaymakers were at work all along the road; and the sky, though far from\ncloudless, was such as promised well for the future: its blue--where blue\nwas visible--was mild and settled, and its cloud strata high and thin.", "The west, too, was warm: no watery gleam chilled it--it seemed as if\nthere was a fire lit, an altar burning behind its screen of marbled\nvapour, and out of apertures shone a golden redness.", "I felt glad as the road shortened before me: so glad that I stopped once\nto ask myself what that joy meant: and to remind reason that it was not\nto my home I was going, or to a permanent resting-place, or to a place\nwhere fond friends looked out for me and waited my arrival.", "\"Mrs.\nFairfax will smile you a calm welcome, to be sure,\" said I; \"and little\nAdele will clap her hands and jump to see you: but you know very well you\nare thinking of another than they, and that he is not thinking of you.\"", "But what is so headstrong as youth?", "What so blind as inexperience?", "These\naffirmed that it was pleasure enough to have the privilege of again\nlooking on Mr. Rochester, whether he looked on me or not; and they\nadded--\"Hasten!", "hasten!", "be with him while you may: but a few more days or\nweeks, at most, and you are parted from him for ever!\"", "And then I\nstrangled a new-born agony--a deformed thing which I could not persuade\nmyself to own and rear--and ran on.", "They are making hay, too, in Thornfield meadows: or rather, the labourers\nare just quitting their work, and returning home with their rakes on\ntheir shoulders, now, at the hour I arrive.", "I have but a field or two to\ntraverse, and then I shall cross the road and reach the gates.", "How full\nthe hedges are of roses!", "But I have no time to gather any; I want to be\nat the house.", "I passed a tall briar, shooting leafy and flowery branches\nacross the path; I see the narrow stile with stone steps; and I see--Mr.\nRochester sitting there, a book and a pencil in his hand; he is writing.", "Well, he is not a ghost; yet every nerve I have is unstrung: for a moment\nI am beyond my own mastery.", "What does it mean?", "I did not think I should\ntremble in this way when I saw him, or lose my voice or the power of\nmotion in his presence.", "I will go back as soon as I can stir: I need not\nmake an absolute fool of myself.", "I know another way to the house.", "It\ndoes not signify if I knew twenty ways; for he has seen me.", "\"Hillo!\"", "he cries; and he puts up his book and his pencil.", "\"There you\nare!", "Come on, if you please.\"", "I suppose I do come on; though in what fashion I know not; being scarcely\ncognisant of my movements, and solicitous only to appear calm; and, above\nall, to control the working muscles of my face--which I feel rebel\ninsolently against my will, and struggle to express what I had resolved\nto conceal.", "But I have a veil--it is down: I may make shift yet to\nbehave with decent composure.", "\"And this is Jane Eyre?", "Are you coming from Millcote, and on foot?", "Yes--just one of your tricks: not to send for a carriage, and come\nclattering over street and road like a common mortal, but to steal into\nthe vicinage of your home along with twilight, just as if you were a\ndream or a shade.", "What the deuce have you done with yourself this last\nmonth?\"", "\"I have been with my aunt, sir, who is dead.\"", "\"A true Janian reply!", "Good angels be my guard!", "She comes from the other\nworld--from the abode of people who are dead; and tells me so when she\nmeets me alone here in the gloaming!", "If I dared, I'd touch you, to see\nif you are substance or shadow, you elf!--but I'd as soon offer to take\nhold of a blue _ignis fatuus_ light in a marsh.", "Truant!", "truant!\"", "he\nadded, when he had paused an instant.", "\"Absent from me a whole month, and\nforgetting me quite, I'll be sworn!\"", "I knew there would be pleasure in meeting my master again, even though\nbroken by the fear that he was so soon to cease to be my master, and by\nthe knowledge that I was nothing to him: but there was ever in Mr.\nRochester (so at least I thought) such a wealth of the power of\ncommunicating happiness, that to taste but of the crumbs he scattered to\nstray and stranger birds like me, was to feast genially.", "His last words\nwere balm: they seemed to imply that it imported something to him whether\nI forgot him or not.", "And he had spoken of Thornfield as my home--would\nthat it were my home!", "He did not leave the stile, and I hardly liked to ask to go by.", "I\ninquired soon if he had not been to London.", "\"Yes; I suppose you found that out by second-sight.\"", "\"Mrs. Fairfax told me in a letter.\"", "\"And did she inform you what I went to do?\"", "\"Oh, yes, sir!", "Everybody knew your errand.\"", "\"You must see the carriage, Jane, and tell me if you don't think it will\nsuit Mrs. Rochester exactly; and whether she won't look like Queen\nBoadicea, leaning back against those purple cushions.", "I wish, Jane, I\nwere a trifle better adapted to match with her externally.", "Tell me now,\nfairy as you are--can't you give me a charm, or a philter, or something\nof that sort, to make me a handsome man?\"", "\"It would be past the power of magic, sir;\" and, in thought, I added, \"A\nloving eye is all the charm needed: to such you are handsome enough; or\nrather your sternness has a power beyond beauty.\"", "Mr. Rochester had sometimes read my unspoken thoughts with an acumen to\nme incomprehensible: in the present instance he took no notice of my\nabrupt vocal response; but he smiled at me with a certain smile he had of\nhis own, and which he used but on rare occasions.", "He seemed to think it\ntoo good for common purposes: it was the real sunshine of feeling--he\nshed it over me now.", "\"Pass, Janet,\" said he, making room for me to cross the stile: \"go up\nhome, and stay your weary little wandering feet at a friend's threshold.\"", "All I had now to do was to obey him in silence: no need for me to\ncolloquise further.", "I got over the stile without a word, and meant to\nleave him calmly.", "An impulse held me fast--a force turned me round.", "I\nsaid--or something in me said for me, and in spite of me--\n\n\"Thank you, Mr. Rochester, for your great kindness.", "I am strangely glad\nto get back again to you: and wherever you are is my home--my only home.\"", "I walked on so fast that even he could hardly have overtaken me had he\ntried.", "Little Adele was half wild with delight when she saw me.", "Mrs.\nFairfax received me with her usual plain friendliness.", "Leah smiled, and\neven Sophie bid me \"bon soir\" with glee.", "This was very pleasant; there\nis no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and\nfeeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort.", "I that evening shut my eyes resolutely against the future: I stopped my\nears against the voice that kept warning me of near separation and coming\ngrief.", "When tea was over and Mrs. Fairfax had taken her knitting, and I\nhad assumed a low seat near her, and Adele, kneeling on the carpet, had\nnestled close up to me, and a sense of mutual affection seemed to\nsurround us with a ring of golden peace, I uttered a silent prayer that\nwe might not be parted far or soon; but when, as we thus sat, Mr.\nRochester entered, unannounced, and looking at us, seemed to take\npleasure in the spectacle of a group so amicable--when he said he\nsupposed the old lady was all right now that she had got her adopted\ndaughter back again, and added that he saw Adele was \"prete a croquer sa\npetite maman Anglaise\"--I half ventured to hope that he would, even after\nhis marriage, keep us together somewhere under the shelter of his\nprotection, and not quite exiled from the sunshine of his presence.", "A fortnight of dubious calm succeeded my return to Thornfield Hall.", "Nothing was said of the master's marriage, and I saw no preparation going\non for such an event.", "Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had\nyet heard anything decided: her answer was always in the negative.", "Once\nshe said she had actually put the question to Mr. Rochester as to when he\nwas going to bring his bride home; but he had answered her only by a joke\nand one of his queer looks, and she could not tell what to make of him.", "One thing specially surprised me, and that was, there were no journeyings\nbackward and forward, no visits to Ingram Park: to be sure it was twenty\nmiles off, on the borders of another county; but what was that distance\nto an ardent lover?", "To so practised and indefatigable a horseman as Mr.\nRochester, it would be but a morning's ride.", "I began to cherish hopes I\nhad no right to conceive: that the match was broken off; that rumour had\nbeen mistaken; that one or both parties had changed their minds.", "I used\nto look at my master's face to see if it were sad or fierce; but I could\nnot remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or\nevil feelings.", "If, in the moments I and my pupil spent with him, I\nlacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection, he became even gay.", "Never had he called me more frequently to his presence; never been kinder\nto me when there--and, alas!", "never had I loved him so well." ]

[ "Georgiana said she dreaded being left alone with Eliza; from\nher she got neither sympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor\naid in her preparations; so I bore with her feeble-minded wailings and\nselfish lamentations as well as I could, and did my best in sewing for\nher and packing her dresses.", "\"You would be\nstrangely incredulous if you did doubt it,\" was my mental comment.", "\"I\ndon't doubt it.\"", "\"There you\nare!", "But I have a veil--it is down: I may make shift yet to\nbehave with decent composure.", "\"And this is Jane Eyre?", "\"Yes; I suppose you found that out by second-sight.\"", "\"Oh, yes, sir!", "I wish, Jane, I\nwere a trifle better adapted to match with her externally.", "Little Adele was half wild with delight when she saw me." ]

[ "She comes from the other\nworld--from the abode of people who are dead; and tells me so when she\nmeets me alone here in the gloaming!", "Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had\nyet heard anything decided: her answer was always in the negative.", "I have but a field or two to\ntraverse, and then I shall cross the road and reach the gates.", "Come on, if you please.\"", "Not\nlong; of that I was sure.", "When we parted, she said: \"Good-bye, cousin Jane Eyre; I wish you well:\nyou have some sense.\"", "I walked on so fast that even he could hardly have overtaken me had he\ntried.", "he cries; and he puts up his book and his pencil.", "The west, too, was warm: no watery gleam chilled it--it seemed as if\nthere was a fire lit, an altar burning behind its screen of marbled\nvapour, and out of apertures shone a golden redness.", "Mr. Rochester had sometimes read my unspoken thoughts with an acumen to\nme incomprehensible: in the present instance he took no notice of my\nabrupt vocal response; but he smiled at me with a certain smile he had of\nhis own, and which he used but on rare occasions." ]

[ "I passed a tall briar, shooting leafy and flowery branches\nacross the path; I see the narrow stile with stone steps; and I see--Mr.\nRochester sitting there, a book and a pencil in his hand; he is writing.", "Well, he is not a ghost; yet every nerve I have is unstrung: for a moment\nI am beyond my own mastery.", "What does it mean?", "I did not think I should\ntremble in this way when I saw him, or lose my voice or the power of\nmotion in his presence.", "I will go back as soon as I can stir: I need not\nmake an absolute fool of myself.", "I know another way to the house.", "It\ndoes not signify if I knew twenty ways; for he has seen me.", "\"Hillo!\"", "he cries; and he puts up his book and his pencil.", "\"There you\nare!", "Come on, if you please.\"" ]

[ "\n\nMr. Rochester had given me but one week's leave of absence: yet a month\nelapsed before I quitted Gateshead.", "I wished to leave immediately after\nthe funeral, but Georgiana entreated me to stay till she could get off to\nLondon, whither she was now at last invited by her uncle, Mr. Gibson, who\nhad come down to direct his sister's interment and settle the family\naffairs.", "Georgiana said she dreaded being left alone with Eliza; from\nher she got neither sympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor\naid in her preparations; so I bore with her feeble-minded wailings and\nselfish lamentations as well as I could, and did my best in sewing for\nher and packing her dresses.", "It is true, that while I worked, she would\nidle; and I thought to myself, \"If you and I were destined to live always\ntogether, cousin, we would commence matters on a different footing.", "I\nshould not settle tamely down into being the forbearing party; I should\nassign you your share of labour, and compel you to accomplish it, or else\nit should be left undone: I should insist, also, on your keeping some of\nthose drawling, half-insincere complaints hushed in your own breast.", "It\nis only because our connection happens to be very transitory, and comes\nat a peculiarly mournful season, that I consent thus to render it so\npatient and compliant on my part.\"", "At last I saw Georgiana off; but now it was Eliza's turn to request me to\nstay another week.", "Her plans required all her time and attention, she\nsaid; she was about to depart for some unknown bourne; and all day long\nshe stayed in her own room, her door bolted within, filling trunks,\nemptying drawers, burning papers, and holding no communication with any\none.", "She wished me to look after the house, to see callers, and answer\nnotes of condolence.", "One morning she told me I was at liberty.", "Nothing was said of the master's marriage, and I saw no preparation going\non for such an event.", "Almost every day I asked Mrs. Fairfax if she had\nyet heard anything decided: her answer was always in the negative.", "Once\nshe said she had actually put the question to Mr. Rochester as to when he\nwas going to bring his bride home; but he had answered her only by a joke\nand one of his queer looks, and she could not tell what to make of him.", "One thing specially surprised me, and that was, there were no journeyings\nbackward and forward, no visits to Ingram Park: to be sure it was twenty\nmiles off, on the borders of another county; but what was that distance\nto an ardent lover?", "To so practised and indefatigable a horseman as Mr.\nRochester, it would be but a morning's ride.", "I began to cherish hopes I\nhad no right to conceive: that the match was broken off; that rumour had\nbeen mistaken; that one or both parties had changed their minds.", "I used\nto look at my master's face to see if it were sad or fierce; but I could\nnot remember the time when it had been so uniformly clear of clouds or\nevil feelings.", "If, in the moments I and my pupil spent with him, I\nlacked spirits and sank into inevitable dejection, he became even gay.", "Never had he called me more frequently to his presence; never been kinder\nto me when there--and, alas!", "never had I loved him so well." ]

[ "\n\nA splendid Midsummer shone over England: skies so pure, suns so radiant\nas were then seen in long succession, seldom favour even singly, our wave-\ngirt land.", "It was as if a band of Italian days had come from the South,\nlike a flock of glorious passenger birds, and lighted to rest them on the\ncliffs of Albion.", "The hay was all got in; the fields round Thornfield\nwere green and shorn; the roads white and baked; the trees were in their\ndark prime; hedge and wood, full-leaved and deeply tinted, contrasted\nwell with the sunny hue of the cleared meadows between.", "On Midsummer-eve, Adele, weary with gathering wild strawberries in Hay\nLane half the day, had gone to bed with the sun.", "I watched her drop\nasleep, and when I left her, I sought the garden.", "It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty-four:--\"Day its fervid fires\nhad wasted,\" and dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit.", "Where the sun had gone down in simple state--pure of the pomp of\nclouds--spread a solemn purple, burning with the light of red jewel and\nfurnace flame at one point, on one hill-peak, and extending high and\nwide, soft and still softer, over half heaven.", "The east had its own\ncharm or fine deep blue, and its own modest gem, a casino and solitary\nstar: soon it would boast the moon; but she was yet beneath the horizon.", "I walked a while on the pavement; but a subtle, well-known scent--that of\na cigar--stole from some window; I saw the library casement open a\nhandbreadth; I knew I might be watched thence; so I went apart into the\norchard.", "No nook in the grounds more sheltered and more Eden-like; it\nwas full of trees, it bloomed with flowers: a very high wall shut it out\nfrom the court, on one side; on the other, a beech avenue screened it\nfrom the lawn.", "At the bottom was a sunk fence; its sole separation from\nlonely fields: a winding walk, bordered with laurels and terminating in a\ngiant horse-chestnut, circled at the base by a seat, led down to the\nfence.", "Here one could wander unseen.", "While such honey-dew fell, such\nsilence reigned, such gloaming gathered, I felt as if I could haunt such\nshade for ever; but in threading the flower and fruit parterres at the\nupper part of the enclosure, enticed there by the light the now rising\nmoon cast on this more open quarter, my step is stayed--not by sound, not\nby sight, but once more by a warning fragrance.", "Sweet-briar and southernwood, jasmine, pink, and rose have long been\nyielding their evening sacrifice of incense: this new scent is neither of\nshrub nor flower; it is--I know it well--it is Mr. Rochester's cigar.", "I\nlook round and I listen.", "I see trees laden with ripening fruit.", "I hear\na nightingale warbling in a wood half a mile off; no moving form is\nvisible, no coming step audible; but that perfume increases: I must flee.", "I make for the wicket leading to the shrubbery, and I see Mr. Rochester\nentering.", "I step aside into the ivy recess; he will not stay long: he\nwill soon return whence he came, and if I sit still he will never see me.", "But no--eventide is as pleasant to him as to me, and this antique garden\nas attractive; and he strolls on, now lifting the gooseberry-tree\nbranches to look at the fruit, large as plums, with which they are laden;\nnow taking a ripe cherry from the wall; now stooping towards a knot of\nflowers, either to inhale their fragrance or to admire the dew-beads on\ntheir petals.", "A great moth goes humming by me; it alights on a plant at\nMr. Rochester's foot: he sees it, and bends to examine it.", "\"Now, he has his back towards me,\" thought I, \"and he is occupied too;\nperhaps, if I walk softly, I can slip away unnoticed.\"", "I trode on an edging of turf that the crackle of the pebbly gravel might\nnot betray me: he was standing among the beds at a yard or two distant\nfrom where I had to pass; the moth apparently engaged him.", "\"I shall get\nby very well,\" I meditated.", "As I crossed his shadow, thrown long over\nthe garden by the moon, not yet risen high, he said quietly, without\nturning--\n\n\"Jane, come and look at this fellow.\"", "I had made no noise: he had not eyes behind--could his shadow feel?", "I\nstarted at first, and then I approached him.", "\"Look at his wings,\" said he, \"he reminds me rather of a West Indian\ninsect; one does not often see so large and gay a night-rover in England;\nthere!", "he is flown.\"", "The moth roamed away.", "I was sheepishly retreating also; but Mr.\nRochester followed me, and when we reached the wicket, he said--\n\n\"Turn back: on so lovely a night it is a shame to sit in the house; and\nsurely no one can wish to go to bed while sunset is thus at meeting with\nmoonrise.\"", "It is one of my faults, that though my tongue is sometimes prompt enough\nat an answer, there are times when it sadly fails me in framing an\nexcuse; and always the lapse occurs at some crisis, when a facile word or\nplausible pretext is specially wanted to get me out of painful\nembarrassment.", "I did not like to walk at this hour alone with Mr.\nRochester in the shadowy orchard; but I could not find a reason to allege\nfor leaving him.", "I followed with lagging step, and thoughts busily bent\non discovering a means of extrication; but he himself looked so composed\nand so grave also, I became ashamed of feeling any confusion: the evil--if\nevil existent or prospective there was--seemed to lie with me only; his\nmind was unconscious and quiet.", "\"Jane,\" he recommenced, as we entered the laurel walk, and slowly strayed\ndown in the direction of the sunk fence and the horse-chestnut,\n\"Thornfield is a pleasant place in summer, is it not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"You must have become in some degree attached to the house,--you, who\nhave an eye for natural beauties, and a good deal of the organ of\nAdhesiveness?\"", "\"I am attached to it, indeed.\"", "\"And though I don't comprehend how it is, I perceive you have acquired a\ndegree of regard for that foolish little child Adele, too; and even for\nsimple dame Fairfax?\"", "\"Yes, sir; in different ways, I have an affection for both.\"", "\"And would be sorry to part with them?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"Pity!\"", "he said, and sighed and paused.", "\"It is always the way of events\nin this life,\" he continued presently: \"no sooner have you got settled in\na pleasant resting-place, than a voice calls out to you to rise and move\non, for the hour of repose is expired.\"", "\"Must I move on, sir?\"", "I asked.", "\"Must I leave Thornfield?\"", "\"I believe you must, Jane.", "I am sorry, Janet, but I believe indeed you\nmust.\"", "This was a blow: but I did not let it prostrate me.", "\"Well, sir, I shall be ready when the order to march comes.\"", "\"It is come now--I must give it to-night.\"", "\"Then you _are_ going to be married, sir?\"", "\"Ex-act-ly--pre-cise-ly: with your usual acuteness, you have hit the nail\nstraight on the head.\"", "\"Soon, sir?\"", "\"Very soon, my--that is, Miss Eyre: and you'll remember, Jane, the first\ntime I, or Rumour, plainly intimated to you that it was my intention to\nput my old bachelor's neck into the sacred noose, to enter into the holy\nestate of matrimony--to take Miss Ingram to my bosom, in short (she's an\nextensive armful: but that's not to the point--one can't have too much of\nsuch a very excellent thing as my beautiful Blanche): well, as I was\nsaying--listen to me, Jane!", "You're not turning your head to look after\nmore moths, are you?", "That was only a lady-clock, child, 'flying away\nhome.'", "I wish to remind you that it was you who first said to me, with\nthat discretion I respect in you--with that foresight, prudence, and\nhumility which befit your responsible and dependent position--that in\ncase I married Miss Ingram, both you and little Adele had better trot\nforthwith.", "I pass over the sort of slur conveyed in this suggestion on\nthe character of my beloved; indeed, when you are far away, Janet, I'll\ntry to forget it: I shall notice only its wisdom; which is such that I\nhave made it my law of action.", "Adele must go to school; and you, Miss\nEyre, must get a new situation.\"", "\"Yes, sir, I will advertise immediately: and meantime, I suppose--\" I was\ngoing to say, \"I suppose I may stay here, till I find another shelter to\nbetake myself to:\" but I stopped, feeling it would not do to risk a long\nsentence, for my voice was not quite under command.", "\"In about a month I hope to be a bridegroom,\" continued Mr. Rochester;\n\"and in the interim, I shall myself look out for employment and an asylum\nfor you.\"", "\"Thank you, sir; I am sorry to give--\"\n\n\"Oh, no need to apologise!", "I consider that when a dependent does her\nduty as well as you have done yours, she has a sort of claim upon her\nemployer for any little assistance he can conveniently render her; indeed\nI have already, through my future mother-in-law, heard of a place that I\nthink will suit: it is to undertake the education of the five daughters\nof Mrs. Dionysius O'Gall of Bitternutt Lodge, Connaught, Ireland.", "You'll\nlike Ireland, I think: they're such warm-hearted people there, they say.\"", "\"It is a long way off, sir.\"", "\"No matter--a girl of your sense will not object to the voyage or the\ndistance.\"", "\"Not the voyage, but the distance: and then the sea is a barrier--\"\n\n\"From what, Jane?\"", "\"From England and from Thornfield: and--\"\n\n\"Well?\"", "\"From _you_, sir.\"", "I said this almost involuntarily, and, with as little sanction of free\nwill, my tears gushed out.", "I did not cry so as to be heard, however; I\navoided sobbing.", "The thought of Mrs. O'Gall and Bitternutt Lodge struck\ncold to my heart; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam,\ndestined, as it seemed, to rush between me and the master at whose side I\nnow walked, and coldest the remembrance of the wider ocean--wealth,\ncaste, custom intervened between me and what I naturally and inevitably\nloved.", "\"It is a long way,\" I again said.", "\"It is, to be sure; and when you get to Bitternutt Lodge, Connaught,\nIreland, I shall never see you again, Jane: that's morally certain.", "I\nnever go over to Ireland, not having myself much of a fancy for the\ncountry.", "We have been good friends, Jane; have we not?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And when friends are on the eve of separation, they like to spend the\nlittle time that remains to them close to each other.", "Come!", "we'll talk\nover the voyage and the parting quietly half-an-hour or so, while the\nstars enter into their shining life up in heaven yonder: here is the\nchestnut tree: here is the bench at its old roots.", "Come, we will sit\nthere in peace to-night, though we should never more be destined to sit\nthere together.\"", "He seated me and himself.", "\"It is a long way to Ireland, Janet, and I am sorry to send my little\nfriend on such weary travels: but if I can't do better, how is it to be\nhelped?", "Are you anything akin to me, do you think, Jane?\"", "I could risk no sort of answer by this time: my heart was still.", "\"Because,\" he said, \"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to\nyou--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string\nsomewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a\nsimilar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little\nframe.", "And if that boisterous Channel, and two hundred miles or so of\nland come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be\nsnapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.", "As for you,--you'd forget me.\"", "\"That I _never_ should, sir: you know--\" Impossible to proceed.", "\"Jane, do you hear that nightingale singing in the wood?", "Listen!\"", "In listening, I sobbed convulsively; for I could repress what I endured\nno longer; I was obliged to yield, and I was shaken from head to foot\nwith acute distress.", "When I did speak, it was only to express an\nimpetuous wish that I had never been born, or never come to Thornfield.", "\"Because you are sorry to leave it?\"", "The vehemence of emotion, stirred by grief and love within me, was\nclaiming mastery, and struggling for full sway, and asserting a right to\npredominate, to overcome, to live, rise, and reign at last: yes,--and to\nspeak.", "\"I grieve to leave Thornfield: I love Thornfield:--I love it, because I\nhave lived in it a full and delightful life,--momentarily at least.", "I\nhave not been trampled on.", "I have not been petrified.", "I have not been\nburied with inferior minds, and excluded from every glimpse of communion\nwith what is bright and energetic and high.", "I have talked, face to face,\nwith what I reverence, with what I delight in,--with an original, a\nvigorous, an expanded mind.", "I have known you, Mr. Rochester; and it\nstrikes me with terror and anguish to feel I absolutely must be torn from\nyou for ever.", "I see the necessity of departure; and it is like looking\non the necessity of death.\"", "\"Where do you see the necessity?\"", "he asked suddenly.", "\"Where?", "You, sir, have placed it before me.\"", "\"In what shape?\"", "\"In the shape of Miss Ingram; a noble and beautiful woman,--your bride.\"", "\"My bride!", "What bride?", "I have no bride!\"", "\"But you will have.\"", "\"Yes;--I will!--I will!\"", "He set his teeth.", "\"Then I must go:--you have said it yourself.\"", "\"No: you must stay!", "I swear it--and the oath shall be kept.\"", "\"I tell you I must go!\"", "I retorted, roused to something like passion.", "\"Do\nyou think I can stay to become nothing to you?", "Do you think I am an\nautomaton?--a machine without feelings?", "and can bear to have my morsel of\nbread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my\ncup?", "Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am\nsoulless and heartless?", "You think wrong!--I have as much soul as\nyou,--and full as much heart!", "And if God had gifted me with some beauty\nand much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it\nis now for me to leave you.", "I am not talking to you now through the\nmedium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;--it is my\nspirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the\ngrave, and we stood at God's feet, equal,--as we are!\"", "\"As we are!\"", "repeated Mr. Rochester--\"so,\" he added, enclosing me in his\narms.", "Gathering me to his breast, pressing his lips on my lips: \"so,\nJane!\"", "\"Yes, so, sir,\" I rejoined: \"and yet not so; for you are a married man--or\nas good as a married man, and wed to one inferior to you--to one with\nwhom you have no sympathy--whom I do not believe you truly love; for I\nhave seen and heard you sneer at her.", "I would scorn such a union:\ntherefore I am better than you--let me go!\"", "\"Where, Jane?", "To Ireland?\"", "\"Yes--to Ireland.", "I have spoken my mind, and can go anywhere now.\"", "\"Jane, be still; don't struggle so, like a wild frantic bird that is\nrending its own plumage in its desperation.\"", "\"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an\nindependent will, which I now exert to leave you.\"", "Another effort set me at liberty, and I stood erect before him.", "\"And your will shall decide your destiny,\" he said: \"I offer you my hand,\nmy heart, and a share of all my possessions.\"", "\"You play a farce, which I merely laugh at.\"", "\"I ask you to pass through life at my side--to be my second self, and\nbest earthly companion.\"", "\"For that fate you have already made your choice, and must abide by it.\"", "\"Jane, be still a few moments: you are over-excited: I will be still\ntoo.\"", "A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel-walk, and trembled through\nthe boughs of the chestnut: it wandered away--away--to an indefinite\ndistance--it died.", "The nightingale's song was then the only voice of the\nhour: in listening to it, I again wept.", "Mr. Rochester sat quiet, looking\nat me gently and seriously.", "Some time passed before he spoke; he at last\nsaid--\n\n\"Come to my side, Jane, and let us explain and understand one another.\"", "\"I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and cannot\nreturn.\"", "\"But, Jane, I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry.\"", "I was silent: I thought he mocked me.", "\"Come, Jane--come hither.\"", "\"Your bride stands between us.\"", "He rose, and with a stride reached me.", "\"My bride is here,\" he said, again drawing me to him, \"because my equal\nis here, and my likeness.", "Jane, will you marry me?\"", "Still I did not answer, and still I writhed myself from his grasp: for I\nwas still incredulous.", "\"Do you doubt me, Jane?\"", "\"Entirely.\"", "\"You have no faith in me?\"", "\"Not a whit.\"", "\"Am I a liar in your eyes?\"", "he asked passionately.", "\"Little sceptic, you\n_shall_ be convinced.", "What love have I for Miss Ingram?", "None: and that\nyou know.", "What love has she for me?", "None: as I have taken pains to\nprove: I caused a rumour to reach her that my fortune was not a third of\nwhat was supposed, and after that I presented myself to see the result;\nit was coldness both from her and her mother.", "I would not--I could\nnot--marry Miss Ingram.", "You--you strange, you almost unearthly thing!--I\nlove as my own flesh.", "You--poor and obscure, and small and plain as you\nare--I entreat to accept me as a husband.\"", "\"What, me!\"", "I ejaculated, beginning in his earnestness--and especially in\nhis incivility--to credit his sincerity: \"me who have not a friend in the\nworld but you--if you are my friend: not a shilling but what you have\ngiven me?\"", "\"You, Jane, I must have you for my own--entirely my own.", "Will you be\nmine?", "Say yes, quickly.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, let me look at your face: turn to the moonlight.\"", "\"Why?\"", "\"Because I want to read your countenance--turn!\"", "\"There!", "you will find it scarcely more legible than a crumpled, scratched\npage.", "Read on: only make haste, for I suffer.\"", "His face was very much agitated and very much flushed, and there were\nstrong workings in the features, and strange gleams in the eyes.", "\"Oh, Jane, you torture me!\"", "he exclaimed.", "\"With that searching and yet\nfaithful and generous look, you torture me!\"", "\"How can I do that?", "If you are true, and your offer real, my only\nfeelings to you must be gratitude and devotion--they cannot torture.\"", "\"Gratitude!\"", "he ejaculated; and added wildly--\"Jane accept me quickly.", "Say, Edward--give me my name--Edward--I will marry you.\"", "\"Are you in earnest?", "Do you truly love me?", "Do you sincerely wish me to\nbe your wife?\"", "\"I do; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy you, I swear it.\"", "\"Then, sir, I will marry you.\"", "\"Edward--my little wife!\"", "\"Dear Edward!\"", "\"Come to me--come to me entirely now,\" said he; and added, in his deepest\ntone, speaking in my ear as his cheek was laid on mine, \"Make my\nhappiness--I will make yours.\"", "\"God pardon me!\"", "he subjoined ere long; \"and man meddle not with me: I\nhave her, and will hold her.\"", "\"There is no one to meddle, sir.", "I have no kindred to interfere.\"", "\"No--that is the best of it,\" he said.", "And if I had loved him less I\nshould have thought his accent and look of exultation savage; but,\nsitting by him, roused from the nightmare of parting--called to the\nparadise of union--I thought only of the bliss given me to drink in so\nabundant a flow.", "Again and again he said, \"Are you happy, Jane?\"", "And\nagain and again I answered, \"Yes.\"", "After which he murmured, \"It will\natone--it will atone.", "Have I not found her friendless, and cold, and\ncomfortless?", "Will I not guard, and cherish, and solace her?", "Is there\nnot love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves?", "It will expiate at\nGod's tribunal.", "I know my Maker sanctions what I do.", "For the world's\njudgment--I wash my hands thereof.", "For man's opinion--I defy it.\"", "But what had befallen the night?", "The moon was not yet set, and we were\nall in shadow: I could scarcely see my master's face, near as I was.", "And\nwhat ailed the chestnut tree?", "it writhed and groaned; while wind roared\nin the laurel walk, and came sweeping over us.", "\"We must go in,\" said Mr. Rochester: \"the weather changes.", "I could have\nsat with thee till morning, Jane.\"", "\"And so,\" thought I, \"could I with you.\"", "I should have said so, perhaps,\nbut a livid, vivid spark leapt out of a cloud at which I was looking, and\nthere was a crack, a crash, and a close rattling peal; and I thought only\nof hiding my dazzled eyes against Mr. Rochester's shoulder.", "The rain rushed down.", "He hurried me up the walk, through the grounds,\nand into the house; but we were quite wet before we could pass the\nthreshold.", "He was taking off my shawl in the hall, and shaking the water\nout of my loosened hair, when Mrs. Fairfax emerged from her room.", "I did\nnot observe her at first, nor did Mr. Rochester.", "The lamp was lit.", "The\nclock was on the stroke of twelve.", "\"Hasten to take off your wet things,\" said he; \"and before you go, good-\nnight--good-night, my darling!\"", "He kissed me repeatedly.", "When I looked up, on leaving his arms, there\nstood the widow, pale, grave, and amazed.", "I only smiled at her, and ran\nupstairs.", "\"Explanation will do for another time,\" thought I.", "Still,\nwhen I reached my chamber, I felt a pang at the idea she should even\ntemporarily misconstrue what she had seen.", "But joy soon effaced every\nother feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and deep as the thunder\ncrashed, fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed, cataract-like as\nthe rain fell during a storm of two hours' duration, I experienced no\nfear and little awe.", "Mr. Rochester came thrice to my door in the course\nof it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil: and that was comfort, that was\nstrength for anything.", "Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele came running in to tell\nme that the great horse-chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been\nstruck by lightning in the night, and half of it split away." ]

[ "As I crossed his shadow, thrown long over\nthe garden by the moon, not yet risen high, he said quietly, without\nturning--\n\n\"Jane, come and look at this fellow.\"", "\"Look at his wings,\" said he, \"he reminds me rather of a West Indian\ninsect; one does not often see so large and gay a night-rover in England;\nthere!", "\"And though I don't comprehend how it is, I perceive you have acquired a\ndegree of regard for that foolish little child Adele, too; and even for\nsimple dame Fairfax?\"", "\"Must I move on, sir?\"", "Adele must go to school; and you, Miss\nEyre, must get a new situation.\"", "\"In the shape of Miss Ingram; a noble and beautiful woman,--your bride.\"", "\"Where, Jane?", "And if I had loved him less I\nshould have thought his accent and look of exultation savage; but,\nsitting by him, roused from the nightmare of parting--called to the\nparadise of union--I thought only of the bliss given me to drink in so\nabundant a flow.", "He kissed me repeatedly.", "\"Explanation will do for another time,\" thought I." ]

[ "\"Explanation will do for another time,\" thought I.", "\"You play a farce, which I merely laugh at.\"", "\"God pardon me!\"", "The thought of Mrs. O'Gall and Bitternutt Lodge struck\ncold to my heart; and colder the thought of all the brine and foam,\ndestined, as it seemed, to rush between me and the master at whose side I\nnow walked, and coldest the remembrance of the wider ocean--wealth,\ncaste, custom intervened between me and what I naturally and inevitably\nloved.", "You--poor and obscure, and small and plain as you\nare--I entreat to accept me as a husband.\"", "\"You have no faith in me?\"", "I\nhave not been trampled on.", "\"Edward--my little wife!\"", "I have not been petrified.", "\"Not a whit.\"" ]

[ "\"Yes;--I will!--I will!\"", "He set his teeth.", "\"Then I must go:--you have said it yourself.\"", "\"No: you must stay!", "I swear it--and the oath shall be kept.\"", "\"I tell you I must go!\"", "I retorted, roused to something like passion.", "\"Do\nyou think I can stay to become nothing to you?", "Do you think I am an\nautomaton?--a machine without feelings?", "and can bear to have my morsel of\nbread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my\ncup?", "Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am\nsoulless and heartless?" ]

[ "\n\nA splendid Midsummer shone over England: skies so pure, suns so radiant\nas were then seen in long succession, seldom favour even singly, our wave-\ngirt land.", "It was as if a band of Italian days had come from the South,\nlike a flock of glorious passenger birds, and lighted to rest them on the\ncliffs of Albion.", "The hay was all got in; the fields round Thornfield\nwere green and shorn; the roads white and baked; the trees were in their\ndark prime; hedge and wood, full-leaved and deeply tinted, contrasted\nwell with the sunny hue of the cleared meadows between.", "On Midsummer-eve, Adele, weary with gathering wild strawberries in Hay\nLane half the day, had gone to bed with the sun.", "I watched her drop\nasleep, and when I left her, I sought the garden.", "It was now the sweetest hour of the twenty-four:--\"Day its fervid fires\nhad wasted,\" and dew fell cool on panting plain and scorched summit.", "Where the sun had gone down in simple state--pure of the pomp of\nclouds--spread a solemn purple, burning with the light of red jewel and\nfurnace flame at one point, on one hill-peak, and extending high and\nwide, soft and still softer, over half heaven.", "The east had its own\ncharm or fine deep blue, and its own modest gem, a casino and solitary\nstar: soon it would boast the moon; but she was yet beneath the horizon.", "I walked a while on the pavement; but a subtle, well-known scent--that of\na cigar--stole from some window; I saw the library casement open a\nhandbreadth; I knew I might be watched thence; so I went apart into the\norchard.", "No nook in the grounds more sheltered and more Eden-like; it\nwas full of trees, it bloomed with flowers: a very high wall shut it out\nfrom the court, on one side; on the other, a beech avenue screened it\nfrom the lawn.", "The\nclock was on the stroke of twelve.", "\"Hasten to take off your wet things,\" said he; \"and before you go, good-\nnight--good-night, my darling!\"", "He kissed me repeatedly.", "When I looked up, on leaving his arms, there\nstood the widow, pale, grave, and amazed.", "I only smiled at her, and ran\nupstairs.", "\"Explanation will do for another time,\" thought I.", "Still,\nwhen I reached my chamber, I felt a pang at the idea she should even\ntemporarily misconstrue what she had seen.", "But joy soon effaced every\nother feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and deep as the thunder\ncrashed, fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed, cataract-like as\nthe rain fell during a storm of two hours' duration, I experienced no\nfear and little awe.", "Mr. Rochester came thrice to my door in the course\nof it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil: and that was comfort, that was\nstrength for anything.", "Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele came running in to tell\nme that the great horse-chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been\nstruck by lightning in the night, and half of it split away." ]

[ "\n\nAs I rose and dressed, I thought over what had happened, and wondered if\nit were a dream.", "I could not be certain of the reality till I had seen\nMr. Rochester again, and heard him renew his words of love and promise.", "While arranging my hair, I looked at my face in the glass, and felt it\nwas no longer plain: there was hope in its aspect and life in its colour;\nand my eyes seemed as if they had beheld the fount of fruition, and\nborrowed beams from the lustrous ripple.", "I had often been unwilling to\nlook at my master, because I feared he could not be pleased at my look;\nbut I was sure I might lift my face to his now, and not cool his\naffection by its expression.", "I took a plain but clean and light summer\ndress from my drawer and put it on: it seemed no attire had ever so well\nbecome me, because none had I ever worn in so blissful a mood.", "I was not surprised, when I ran down into the hall, to see that a\nbrilliant June morning had succeeded to the tempest of the night; and to\nfeel, through the open glass door, the breathing of a fresh and fragrant\nbreeze.", "Nature must be gladsome when I was so happy.", "A beggar-woman and\nher little boy--pale, ragged objects both--were coming up the walk, and I\nran down and gave them all the money I happened to have in my purse--some\nthree or four shillings: good or bad, they must partake of my jubilee.", "The rooks cawed, and blither birds sang; but nothing was so merry or so\nmusical as my own rejoicing heart.", "Mrs. Fairfax surprised me by looking out of the window with a sad\ncountenance, and saying gravely--\"Miss Eyre, will you come to breakfast?\"", "During the meal she was quiet and cool: but I could not undeceive her\nthen.", "I must wait for my master to give explanations; and so must she.", "I\nate what I could, and then I hastened upstairs.", "I met Adele leaving the\nschoolroom.", "\"Where are you going?", "It is time for lessons.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester has sent me away to the nursery.\"", "\"Where is he?\"", "\"In there,\" pointing to the apartment she had left; and I went in, and\nthere he stood.", "\"Come and bid me good-morning,\" said he.", "I gladly advanced; and it was\nnot merely a cold word now, or even a shake of the hand that I received,\nbut an embrace and a kiss.", "It seemed natural: it seemed genial to be so\nwell loved, so caressed by him.", "\"Jane, you look blooming, and smiling, and pretty,\" said he: \"truly\npretty this morning.", "Is this my pale, little elf?", "Is this my mustard-\nseed?", "This little sunny-faced girl with the dimpled cheek and rosy lips;\nthe satin-smooth hazel hair, and the radiant hazel eyes?\"", "(I had green\neyes, reader; but you must excuse the mistake: for him they were\nnew-dyed, I suppose.)", "\"It is Jane Eyre, sir.\"", "\"Soon to be Jane Rochester,\" he added: \"in four weeks, Janet; not a day\nmore.", "Do you hear that?\"", "I did, and I could not quite comprehend it: it made me giddy.", "The\nfeeling, the announcement sent through me, was something stronger than\nwas consistent with joy--something that smote and stunned.", "It was, I\nthink almost fear.", "\"You blushed, and now you are white, Jane: what is that for?\"", "\"Because you gave me a new name--Jane Rochester; and it seems so\nstrange.\"", "\"Yes, Mrs. Rochester,\" said he; \"young Mrs. Rochester--Fairfax\nRochester's girl-bride.\"", "\"It can never be, sir; it does not sound likely.", "Human beings never\nenjoy complete happiness in this world.", "I was not born for a different\ndestiny to the rest of my species: to imagine such a lot befalling me is\na fairy tale--a day-dream.\"", "\"Which I can and will realise.", "I shall begin to-day.", "This morning I\nwrote to my banker in London to send me certain jewels he has in his\nkeeping,--heirlooms for the ladies of Thornfield.", "In a day or two I hope\nto pour them into your lap: for every privilege, every attention shall be\nyours that I would accord a peer's daughter, if about to marry her.\"", "\"Oh, sir!--never rain jewels!", "I don't like to hear them spoken of.", "Jewels for Jane Eyre sounds unnatural and strange: I would rather not\nhave them.\"", "\"I will myself put the diamond chain round your neck, and the circlet on\nyour forehead,--which it will become: for nature, at least, has stamped\nher patent of nobility on this brow, Jane; and I will clasp the bracelets\non these fine wrists, and load these fairy-like fingers with rings.\"", "\"No, no, sir!", "think of other subjects, and speak of other things, and in\nanother strain.", "Don't address me as if I were a beauty; I am your plain,\nQuakerish governess.\"", "\"You are a beauty in my eyes, and a beauty just after the desire of my\nheart,--delicate and aerial.\"", "\"Puny and insignificant, you mean.", "You are dreaming, sir,--or you are\nsneering.", "For God's sake don't be ironical!\"", "\"I will make the world acknowledge you a beauty, too,\" he went on, while\nI really became uneasy at the strain he had adopted, because I felt he\nwas either deluding himself or trying to delude me.", "\"I will attire my\nJane in satin and lace, and she shall have roses in her hair; and I will\ncover the head I love best with a priceless veil.\"", "\"And then you won't know me, sir; and I shall not be your Jane Eyre any\nlonger, but an ape in a harlequin's jacket--a jay in borrowed plumes.", "I\nwould as soon see you, Mr. Rochester, tricked out in stage-trappings, as\nmyself clad in a court-lady's robe; and I don't call you handsome, sir,\nthough I love you most dearly: far too dearly to flatter you.", "Don't\nflatter me.\"", "He pursued his theme, however, without noticing my deprecation.", "\"This\nvery day I shall take you in the carriage to Millcote, and you must\nchoose some dresses for yourself.", "I told you we shall be married in four\nweeks.", "The wedding is to take place quietly, in the church down below\nyonder; and then I shall waft you away at once to town.", "After a brief\nstay there, I shall bear my treasure to regions nearer the sun: to French\nvineyards and Italian plains; and she shall see whatever is famous in old\nstory and in modern record: she shall taste, too, of the life of cities;\nand she shall learn to value herself by just comparison with others.\"", "\"Shall I travel?--and with you, sir?\"", "\"You shall sojourn at Paris, Rome, and Naples: at Florence, Venice, and\nVienna: all the ground I have wandered over shall be re-trodden by you:\nwherever I stamped my hoof, your sylph's foot shall step also.", "Ten years\nsince, I flew through Europe half mad; with disgust, hate, and rage as my\ncompanions: now I shall revisit it healed and cleansed, with a very angel\nas my comforter.\"", "I laughed at him as he said this.", "\"I am not an angel,\" I asserted; \"and\nI will not be one till I die: I will be myself.", "Mr. Rochester, you must\nneither expect nor exact anything celestial of me--for you will not get\nit, any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all\nanticipate.\"", "\"What do you anticipate of me?\"", "\"For a little while you will perhaps be as you are now,--a very little\nwhile; and then you will turn cool; and then you will be capricious; and\nthen you will be stern, and I shall have much ado to please you: but when\nyou get well used to me, you will perhaps like me again,--_like_ me, I\nsay, not _love_ me.", "I suppose your love will effervesce in six months,\nor less.", "I have observed in books written by men, that period assigned\nas the farthest to which a husband's ardour extends.", "Yet, after all, as\na friend and companion, I hope never to become quite distasteful to my\ndear master.\"", "\"Distasteful!", "and like you again!", "I think I shall like you again, and\nyet again: and I will make you confess I do not only _like_, but _love_\nyou--with truth, fervour, constancy.\"", "\"Yet are you not capricious, sir?\"", "\"To women who please me only by their faces, I am the very devil when I\nfind out they have neither souls nor hearts--when they open to me a\nperspective of flatness, triviality, and perhaps imbecility, coarseness,\nand ill-temper: but to the clear eye and eloquent tongue, to the soul\nmade of fire, and the character that bends but does not break--at once\nsupple and stable, tractable and consistent--I am ever tender and true.\"", "\"Had you ever experience of such a character, sir?", "Did you ever love\nsuch an one?\"", "\"I love it now.\"", "\"But before me: if I, indeed, in any respect come up to your difficult\nstandard?\"", "\"I never met your likeness.", "Jane, you please me, and you master me--you\nseem to submit, and I like the sense of pliancy you impart; and while I\nam twining the soft, silken skein round my finger, it sends a thrill up\nmy arm to my heart.", "I am influenced--conquered; and the influence is\nsweeter than I can express; and the conquest I undergo has a witchery\nbeyond any triumph I can win.", "Why do you smile, Jane?", "What does that\ninexplicable, that uncanny turn of countenance mean?\"", "\"I was thinking, sir (you will excuse the idea; it was involuntary), I\nwas thinking of Hercules and Samson with their charmers--\"\n\n\"You were, you little elfish--\"\n\n\"Hush, sir!", "You don't talk very wisely just now; any more than those\ngentlemen acted very wisely.", "However, had they been married, they would\nno doubt by their severity as husbands have made up for their softness as\nsuitors; and so will you, I fear.", "I wonder how you will answer me a year\nhence, should I ask a favour it does not suit your convenience or\npleasure to grant.\"", "\"Ask me something now, Jane,--the least thing: I desire to be entreated--\"\n\n\"Indeed I will, sir; I have my petition all ready.\"", "\"Speak!", "But if you look up and smile with that countenance, I shall\nswear concession before I know to what, and that will make a fool of me.\"", "\"Not at all, sir; I ask only this: don't send for the jewels, and don't\ncrown me with roses: you might as well put a border of gold lace round\nthat plain pocket handkerchief you have there.\"", "\"I might as well 'gild refined gold.'", "I know it: your request is granted\nthen--for the time.", "I will remand the order I despatched to my banker.", "But you have not yet asked for anything; you have prayed a gift to be\nwithdrawn: try again.\"", "\"Well then, sir, have the goodness to gratify my curiosity, which is much\npiqued on one point.\"", "He looked disturbed.", "\"What?", "what?\"", "he said hastily.", "\"Curiosity is a\ndangerous petition: it is well I have not taken a vow to accord every\nrequest--\"\n\n\"But there can be no danger in complying with this, sir.\"", "\"Utter it, Jane: but I wish that instead of a mere inquiry into, perhaps,\na secret, it was a wish for half my estate.\"", "\"Now, King Ahasuerus!", "What do I want with half your estate?", "Do you\nthink I am a Jew-usurer, seeking good investment in land?", "I would much\nrather have all your confidence.", "You will not exclude me from your\nconfidence if you admit me to your heart?\"", "\"You are welcome to all my confidence that is worth having, Jane; but for\nGod's sake, don't desire a useless burden!", "Don't long for poison--don't\nturn out a downright Eve on my hands!\"", "\"Why not, sir?", "You have just been telling me how much you liked to be\nconquered, and how pleasant over-persuasion is to you.", "Don't you think I\nhad better take advantage of the confession, and begin and coax and\nentreat--even cry and be sulky if necessary--for the sake of a mere essay\nof my power?\"", "\"I dare you to any such experiment.", "Encroach, presume, and the game is\nup.\"", "\"Is it, sir?", "You soon give in.", "How stern you look now!", "Your eyebrows\nhave become as thick as my finger, and your forehead resembles what, in\nsome very astonishing poetry, I once saw styled, 'a blue-piled\nthunderloft.'", "That will be your married look, sir, I suppose?\"", "\"If that will be _your_ married look, I, as a Christian, will soon give\nup the notion of consorting with a mere sprite or salamander.", "But what\nhad you to ask, thing,--out with it?\"", "\"There, you are less than civil now; and I like rudeness a great deal\nbetter than flattery.", "I had rather be a _thing_ than an angel.", "This is\nwhat I have to ask,--Why did you take such pains to make me believe you\nwished to marry Miss Ingram?\"", "\"Is that all?", "Thank God it is no worse!\"", "And now he unknit his black\nbrows; looked down, smiling at me, and stroked my hair, as if well\npleased at seeing a danger averted.", "\"I think I may confess,\" he\ncontinued, \"even although I should make you a little indignant, Jane--and\nI have seen what a fire-spirit you can be when you are indignant.", "You\nglowed in the cool moonlight last night, when you mutinied against fate,\nand claimed your rank as my equal.", "Janet, by-the-bye, it was you who\nmade me the offer.\"", "\"Of course I did.", "But to the point if you please, sir--Miss Ingram?\"", "\"Well, I feigned courtship of Miss Ingram, because I wished to render you\nas madly in love with me as I was with you; and I knew jealousy would be\nthe best ally I could call in for the furtherance of that end.\"", "\"Excellent!", "Now you are small--not one whit bigger than the end of my\nlittle finger.", "It was a burning shame and a scandalous disgrace to act\nin that way.", "Did you think nothing of Miss Ingram's feelings, sir?\"", "\"Her feelings are concentrated in one--pride; and that needs humbling.", "Were you jealous, Jane?\"", "\"Never mind, Mr. Rochester: it is in no way interesting to you to know\nthat.", "Answer me truly once more.", "Do you think Miss Ingram will not\nsuffer from your dishonest coquetry?", "Won't she feel forsaken and\ndeserted?\"", "\"Impossible!--when I told you how she, on the contrary, deserted me: the\nidea of my insolvency cooled, or rather extinguished, her flame in a\nmoment.\"", "\"You have a curious, designing mind, Mr. Rochester.", "I am afraid your\nprinciples on some points are eccentric.\"", "\"My principles were never trained, Jane: they may have grown a little\nawry for want of attention.\"", "\"Once again, seriously; may I enjoy the great good that has been\nvouchsafed to me, without fearing that any one else is suffering the\nbitter pain I myself felt a while ago?\"", "\"That you may, my good little girl: there is not another being in the\nworld has the same pure love for me as yourself--for I lay that pleasant\nunction to my soul, Jane, a belief in your affection.\"", "I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder.", "I loved him very\nmuch--more than I could trust myself to say--more than words had power to\nexpress.", "\"Ask something more,\" he said presently; \"it is my delight to be\nentreated, and to yield.\"", "I was again ready with my request.", "\"Communicate your intentions to Mrs.\nFairfax, sir: she saw me with you last night in the hall, and she was\nshocked.", "Give her some explanation before I see her again.", "It pains me\nto be misjudged by so good a woman.\"", "\"Go to your room, and put on your bonnet,\" he replied.", "\"I mean you to\naccompany me to Millcote this morning; and while you prepare for the\ndrive, I will enlighten the old lady's understanding.", "Did she think,\nJanet, you had given the world for love, and considered it well lost?\"", "\"I believe she thought I had forgotten my station, and yours, sir.\"", "\"Station!", "station!--your station is in my heart, and on the necks of\nthose who would insult you, now or hereafter.--Go.\"", "I was soon dressed; and when I heard Mr. Rochester quit Mrs. Fairfax's\nparlour, I hurried down to it.", "The old lady, had been reading her\nmorning portion of Scripture--the Lesson for the day; her Bible lay open\nbefore her, and her spectacles were upon it.", "Her occupation, suspended\nby Mr. Rochester's announcement, seemed now forgotten: her eyes, fixed on\nthe blank wall opposite, expressed the surprise of a quiet mind stirred\nby unwonted tidings.", "Seeing me, she roused herself: she made a sort of\neffort to smile, and framed a few words of congratulation; but the smile\nexpired, and the sentence was abandoned unfinished.", "She put up her\nspectacles, shut the Bible, and pushed her chair back from the table.", "\"I feel so astonished,\" she began, \"I hardly know what to say to you,\nMiss Eyre.", "I have surely not been dreaming, have I?", "Sometimes I half\nfall asleep when I am sitting alone and fancy things that have never\nhappened.", "It has seemed to me more than once when I have been in a doze,\nthat my dear husband, who died fifteen years since, has come in and sat\ndown beside me; and that I have even heard him call me by my name, Alice,\nas he used to do.", "Now, can you tell me whether it is actually true that\nMr. Rochester has asked you to marry him?", "Don't laugh at me.", "But I\nreally thought he came in here five minutes ago, and said that in a month\nyou would be his wife.\"", "\"He has said the same thing to me,\" I replied.", "\"He has!", "Do you believe him?", "Have you accepted him?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "She looked at me bewildered.", "\"I could never have thought it.", "He is a\nproud man: all the Rochesters were proud: and his father, at least, liked\nmoney.", "He, too, has always been called careful.", "He means to marry you?\"", "\"He tells me so.\"", "She surveyed my whole person: in her eyes I read that they had there\nfound no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma.", "\"It passes me!\"", "she continued; \"but no doubt, it is true since you say\nso.", "How it will answer, I cannot tell: I really don't know.", "Equality of\nposition and fortune is often advisable in such cases; and there are\ntwenty years of difference in your ages.", "He might almost be your\nfather.\"", "\"No, indeed, Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "exclaimed I, nettled; \"he is nothing like my\nfather!", "No one, who saw us together, would suppose it for an instant.", "Mr. Rochester looks as young, and is as young, as some men at five-and-\ntwenty.\"", "\"Is it really for love he is going to marry you?\"", "she asked.", "I was so hurt by her coldness and scepticism, that the tears rose to my\neyes.", "\"I am sorry to grieve you,\" pursued the widow; \"but you are so young, and\nso little acquainted with men, I wished to put you on your guard.", "It is\nan old saying that 'all is not gold that glitters;' and in this case I do\nfear there will be something found to be different to what either you or\nI expect.\"", "\"Why?--am I a monster?\"", "I said: \"is it impossible that Mr. Rochester\nshould have a sincere affection for me?\"", "\"No: you are very well; and much improved of late; and Mr. Rochester, I\ndaresay, is fond of you.", "I have always noticed that you were a sort of\npet of his.", "There are times when, for your sake, I have been a little\nuneasy at his marked preference, and have wished to put you on your\nguard: but I did not like to suggest even the possibility of wrong.", "I\nknew such an idea would shock, perhaps offend you; and you were so\ndiscreet, and so thoroughly modest and sensible, I hoped you might be\ntrusted to protect yourself.", "Last night I cannot tell you what I\nsuffered when I sought all over the house, and could find you nowhere,\nnor the master either; and then, at twelve o'clock, saw you come in with\nhim.\"", "\"Well, never mind that now,\" I interrupted impatiently; \"it is enough\nthat all was right.\"", "\"I hope all will be right in the end,\" she said: \"but believe me, you\ncannot be too careful.", "Try and keep Mr. Rochester at a distance:\ndistrust yourself as well as him.", "Gentlemen in his station are not\naccustomed to marry their governesses.\"", "I was growing truly irritated: happily, Adele ran in.", "\"Let me go,--let me go to Millcote too!\"", "she cried.", "\"Mr. Rochester\nwon't: though there is so much room in the new carriage.", "Beg him to let\nme go mademoiselle.\"", "\"That I will, Adele;\" and I hastened away with her, glad to quit my\ngloomy monitress.", "The carriage was ready: they were bringing it round to\nthe front, and my master was pacing the pavement, Pilot following him\nbackwards and forwards.", "\"Adele may accompany us, may she not, sir?\"", "\"I told her no.", "I'll have no brats!--I'll have only you.\"", "\"Do let her go, Mr. Rochester, if you please: it would be better.\"", "\"Not it: she will be a restraint.\"", "He was quite peremptory, both in look and voice.", "The chill of Mrs.\nFairfax's warnings, and the damp of her doubts were upon me: something of\nunsubstantiality and uncertainty had beset my hopes.", "I half lost the\nsense of power over him.", "I was about mechanically to obey him, without\nfurther remonstrance; but as he helped me into the carriage, he looked at\nmy face.", "\"What is the matter?\"", "he asked; \"all the sunshine is gone.", "Do you really\nwish the bairn to go?", "Will it annoy you if she is left behind?\"", "\"I would far rather she went, sir.\"", "\"Then off for your bonnet, and back like a flash of lightning!\"", "cried he\nto Adele.", "She obeyed him with what speed she might.", "\"After all, a single morning's interruption will not matter much,\" said\nhe, \"when I mean shortly to claim you--your thoughts, conversation, and\ncompany--for life.\"", "Adele, when lifted in, commenced kissing me, by way of expressing her\ngratitude for my intercession: she was instantly stowed away into a\ncorner on the other side of him.", "She then peeped round to where I sat;\nso stern a neighbour was too restrictive to him, in his present fractious\nmood, she dared whisper no observations, nor ask of him any information.", "\"Let her come to me,\" I entreated: \"she will, perhaps, trouble you, sir:\nthere is plenty of room on this side.\"", "He handed her over as if she had been a lapdog.", "\"I'll send her to school\nyet,\" he said, but now he was smiling.", "Adele heard him, and asked if she was to go to school \"sans\nmademoiselle?\"", "\"Yes,\" he replied, \"absolutely sans mademoiselle; for I am to take\nmademoiselle to the moon, and there I shall seek a cave in one of the\nwhite valleys among the volcano-tops, and mademoiselle shall live with me\nthere, and only me.\"", "\"She will have nothing to eat: you will starve her,\" observed Adele.", "\"I shall gather manna for her morning and night: the plains and hillsides\nin the moon are bleached with manna, Adele.\"", "\"She will want to warm herself: what will she do for a fire?\"", "\"Fire rises out of the lunar mountains: when she is cold, I'll carry her\nup to a peak, and lay her down on the edge of a crater.\"", "\"Oh, qu' elle y sera mal--peu comfortable!", "And her clothes, they will\nwear out: how can she get new ones?\"", "Mr. Rochester professed to be puzzled.", "\"Hem!\"", "said he.", "\"What would you\ndo, Adele?", "Cudgel your brains for an expedient.", "How would a white or a\npink cloud answer for a gown, do you think?", "And one could cut a pretty\nenough scarf out of a rainbow.\"", "\"She is far better as she is,\" concluded Adele, after musing some time:\n\"besides, she would get tired of living with only you in the moon.", "If I\nwere mademoiselle, I would never consent to go with you.\"", "\"She has consented: she has pledged her word.\"", "\"But you can't get her there; there is no road to the moon: it is all\nair; and neither you nor she can fly.\"", "\"Adele, look at that field.\"", "We were now outside Thornfield gates, and\nbowling lightly along the smooth road to Millcote, where the dust was\nwell laid by the thunderstorm, and, where the low hedges and lofty timber\ntrees on each side glistened green and rain-refreshed.", "\"In that field, Adele, I was walking late one evening about a fortnight\nsince--the evening of the day you helped me to make hay in the orchard\nmeadows; and, as I was tired with raking swaths, I sat down to rest me on\na stile; and there I took out a little book and a pencil, and began to\nwrite about a misfortune that befell me long ago, and a wish I had for\nhappy days to come: I was writing away very fast, though daylight was\nfading from the leaf, when something came up the path and stopped two\nyards off me.", "I looked at it.", "It was a little thing with a veil of\ngossamer on its head.", "I beckoned it to come near me; it stood soon at my\nknee.", "I never spoke to it, and it never spoke to me, in words; but I\nread its eyes, and it read mine; and our speechless colloquy was to this\neffect--\n\n\"It was a fairy, and come from Elf-land, it said; and its errand was to\nmake me happy: I must go with it out of the common world to a lonely\nplace--such as the moon, for instance--and it nodded its head towards her\nhorn, rising over Hay-hill: it told me of the alabaster cave and silver\nvale where we might live.", "I said I should like to go; but reminded it,\nas you did me, that I had no wings to fly.", "\"'Oh,' returned the fairy, 'that does not signify!", "Here is a talisman\nwill remove all difficulties;' and she held out a pretty gold ring.", "'Put\nit,' she said, 'on the fourth finger of my left hand, and I am yours, and\nyou are mine; and we shall leave earth, and make our own heaven yonder.'", "She nodded again at the moon.", "The ring, Adele, is in my breeches-pocket,\nunder the disguise of a sovereign: but I mean soon to change it to a ring\nagain.\"", "\"But what has mademoiselle to do with it?", "I don't care for the fairy:\nyou said it was mademoiselle you would take to the moon?\"", "\"Mademoiselle is a fairy,\" he said, whispering mysteriously.", "Whereupon I\ntold her not to mind his badinage; and she, on her part, evinced a fund\nof genuine French scepticism: denominating Mr. Rochester \"un vrai\nmenteur,\" and assuring him that she made no account whatever of his\n\"contes de fee,\" and that \"du reste, il n'y avait pas de fees, et quand\nmeme il y en avait:\" she was sure they would never appear to him, nor\never give him rings, or offer to live with him in the moon.", "The hour spent at Millcote was a somewhat harassing one to me.", "Mr.\nRochester obliged me to go to a certain silk warehouse: there I was\nordered to choose half-a-dozen dresses.", "I hated the business, I begged\nleave to defer it: no--it should be gone through with now.", "By dint of\nentreaties expressed in energetic whispers, I reduced the half-dozen to\ntwo: these however, he vowed he would select himself.", "With anxiety I\nwatched his eye rove over the gay stores: he fixed on a rich silk of the\nmost brilliant amethyst dye, and a superb pink satin.", "I told him in a\nnew series of whispers, that he might as well buy me a gold gown and a\nsilver bonnet at once: I should certainly never venture to wear his\nchoice.", "With infinite difficulty, for he was stubborn as a stone, I\npersuaded him to make an exchange in favour of a sober black satin and\npearl-grey silk.", "\"It might pass for the present,\" he said; \"but he would\nyet see me glittering like a parterre.\"", "Glad was I to get him out of the silk warehouse, and then out of a\njewellers shop: the more he bought me, the more my cheek burned with a\nsense of annoyance and degradation.", "As we re-entered the carriage, and I\nsat back feverish and fagged, I remembered what, in the hurry of events,\ndark and bright, I had wholly forgotten--the letter of my uncle, John\nEyre, to Mrs. Reed: his intention to adopt me and make me his legatee.", "\"It would, indeed, be a relief,\" I thought, \"if I had ever so small an\nindependency; I never can bear being dressed like a doll by Mr.\nRochester, or sitting like a second Danae with the golden shower falling\ndaily round me.", "I will write to Madeira the moment I get home, and tell\nmy uncle John I am going to be married, and to whom: if I had but a\nprospect of one day bringing Mr. Rochester an accession of fortune, I\ncould better endure to be kept by him now.\"", "And somewhat relieved by\nthis idea (which I failed not to execute that day), I ventured once more\nto meet my master's and lover's eye, which most pertinaciously sought\nmine, though I averted both face and gaze.", "He smiled; and I thought his\nsmile was such as a sultan might, in a blissful and fond moment, bestow\non a slave his gold and gems had enriched: I crushed his hand, which was\never hunting mine, vigorously, and thrust it back to him red with the\npassionate pressure.", "\"You need not look in that way,\" I said; \"if you do, I'll wear nothing\nbut my old Lowood frocks to the end of the chapter.", "I'll be married in\nthis lilac gingham: you may make a dressing-gown for yourself out of the\npearl-grey silk, and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black\nsatin.\"", "He chuckled; he rubbed his hands.", "\"Oh, it is rich to see and hear her?\"", "he exclaimed.", "\"Is she original?", "Is she piquant?", "I would not exchange\nthis one little English girl for the Grand Turk's whole seraglio, gazelle-\neyes, houri forms, and all!\"", "The Eastern allusion bit me again.", "\"I'll not stand you an inch in the\nstead of a seraglio,\" I said; \"so don't consider me an equivalent for\none.", "If you have a fancy for anything in that line, away with you, sir,\nto the bazaars of Stamboul without delay, and lay out in extensive slave-\npurchases some of that spare cash you seem at a loss to spend\nsatisfactorily here.\"", "\"And what will you do, Janet, while I am bargaining for so many tons of\nflesh and such an assortment of black eyes?\"", "\"I'll be preparing myself to go out as a missionary to preach liberty to\nthem that are enslaved--your harem inmates amongst the rest.", "I'll get\nadmitted there, and I'll stir up mutiny; and you, three-tailed bashaw as\nyou are, sir, shall in a trice find yourself fettered amongst our hands:\nnor will I, for one, consent to cut your bonds till you have signed a\ncharter, the most liberal that despot ever yet conferred.\"", "\"I would consent to be at your mercy, Jane.\"", "\"I would have no mercy, Mr. Rochester, if you supplicated for it with an\neye like that.", "While you looked so, I should be certain that whatever\ncharter you might grant under coercion, your first act, when released,\nwould be to violate its conditions.\"", "\"Why, Jane, what would you have?", "I fear you will compel me to go through\na private marriage ceremony, besides that performed at the altar.", "You\nwill stipulate, I see, for peculiar terms--what will they be?\"", "\"I only want an easy mind, sir; not crushed by crowded obligations.", "Do\nyou remember what you said of Celine Varens?--of the diamonds, the\ncashmeres you gave her?", "I will not be your English Celine Varens.", "I\nshall continue to act as Adele's governess; by that I shall earn my board\nand lodging, and thirty pounds a year besides.", "I'll furnish my own\nwardrobe out of that money, and you shall give me nothing but--\"\n\n\"Well, but what?\"", "\"Your regard; and if I give you mine in return, that debt will be quit.\"", "\"Well, for cool native impudence and pure innate pride, you haven't your\nequal,\" said he.", "We were now approaching Thornfield.", "\"Will it please\nyou to dine with me to-day?\"", "he asked, as we re-entered the gates.", "\"No, thank you, sir.\"", "\"And what for, 'no, thank you?'", "if one may inquire.\"", "\"I never have dined with you, sir: and I see no reason why I should now:\ntill--\"\n\n\"Till what?", "You delight in half-phrases.\"", "\"Till I can't help it.\"", "\"Do you suppose I eat like an ogre or a ghoul, that you dread being the\ncompanion of my repast?\"", "\"I have formed no supposition on the subject, sir; but I want to go on as\nusual for another month.\"", "\"You will give up your governessing slavery at once.\"", "\"Indeed, begging your pardon, sir, I shall not.", "I shall just go on with\nit as usual.", "I shall keep out of your way all day, as I have been\naccustomed to do: you may send for me in the evening, when you feel\ndisposed to see me, and I'll come then; but at no other time.\"", "\"I want a smoke, Jane, or a pinch of snuff, to comfort me under all this,\n'pour me donner une contenance,' as Adele would say; and unfortunately I\nhave neither my cigar-case, nor my snuff-box.", "But listen--whisper.", "It\nis your time now, little tyrant, but it will be mine presently; and when\nonce I have fairly seized you, to have and to hold, I'll\njust--figuratively speaking--attach you to a chain like this\" (touching\nhis watch-guard).", "\"Yes, bonny wee thing, I'll wear you in my bosom, lest\nmy jewel I should tyne.\"", "He said this as he helped me to alight from the carriage, and while he\nafterwards lifted out Adele, I entered the house, and made good my\nretreat upstairs.", "He duly summoned me to his presence in the evening.", "I had prepared an\noccupation for him; for I was determined not to spend the whole time in a\n_tete-a-tete_ conversation.", "I remembered his fine voice; I knew he liked\nto sing--good singers generally do.", "I was no vocalist myself, and, in\nhis fastidious judgment, no musician, either; but I delighted in\nlistening when the performance was good.", "No sooner had twilight, that\nhour of romance, began to lower her blue and starry banner over the\nlattice, than I rose, opened the piano, and entreated him, for the love\nof heaven, to give me a song.", "He said I was a capricious witch, and that\nhe would rather sing another time; but I averred that no time was like\nthe present.", "\"Did I like his voice?\"", "he asked.", "\"Very much.\"", "I was not fond of pampering that susceptible vanity of his;\nbut for once, and from motives of expediency, I would e'en soothe and\nstimulate it.", "\"Then, Jane, you must play the accompaniment.\"", "\"Very well, sir, I will try.\"", "I did try, but was presently swept off the stool and denominated \"a\nlittle bungler.\"", "Being pushed unceremoniously to one side--which was\nprecisely what I wished--he usurped my place, and proceeded to accompany\nhimself: for he could play as well as sing.", "I hied me to the\nwindow-recess.", "And while I sat there and looked out on the still trees\nand dim lawn, to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the following\nstrain:--\n\n \"The truest love that ever heart\n Felt at its kindled core,\n Did through each vein, in quickened start,\n The tide of being pour.", "Her coming was my hope each day,\n Her parting was my pain;\n The chance that did her steps delay\n Was ice in every vein.", "I dreamed it would be nameless bliss,\n As I loved, loved to be;\n And to this object did I press\n As blind as eagerly.", "But wide as pathless was the space\n That lay our lives between,\n And dangerous as the foamy race\n Of ocean-surges green.", "And haunted as a robber-path\n Through wilderness or wood;\n For Might and Right, and Woe and Wrath,\n Between our spirits stood.", "I dangers dared; I hindrance scorned;\n I omens did defy:\n Whatever menaced, harassed, warned,\n I passed impetuous by.", "On sped my rainbow, fast as light;\n I flew as in a dream;\n For glorious rose upon my sight\n That child of Shower and Gleam.", "Still bright on clouds of suffering dim\n Shines that soft, solemn joy;\n Nor care I now, how dense and grim\n Disasters gather nigh.", "I care not in this moment sweet,\n Though all I have rushed o'er\n Should come on pinion, strong and fleet,\n Proclaiming vengeance sore:\n\n Though haughty Hate should strike me down,\n Right, bar approach to me,\n And grinding Might, with furious frown,\n Swear endless enmity.", "My love has placed her little hand\n With noble faith in mine,\n And vowed that wedlock's sacred band\n Our nature shall entwine.", "My love has sworn, with sealing kiss,\n With me to live--to die;\n I have at last my nameless bliss.", "As I love--loved am I!\"", "He rose and came towards me, and I saw his face all kindled, and his full\nfalcon-eye flashing, and tenderness and passion in every lineament.", "I\nquailed momentarily--then I rallied.", "Soft scene, daring demonstration, I\nwould not have; and I stood in peril of both: a weapon of defence must be\nprepared--I whetted my tongue: as he reached me, I asked with asperity,\n\"whom he was going to marry now?\"", "\"That was a strange question to be put by his darling Jane.\"", "\"Indeed!", "I considered it a very natural and necessary one: he had talked\nof his future wife dying with him.", "What did he mean by such a pagan\nidea?", "_I_ had no intention of dying with him--he might depend on that.\"", "\"Oh, all he longed, all he prayed for, was that I might live with him!", "Death was not for such as I.\"", "\"Indeed it was: I had as good a right to die when my time came as he had:\nbut I should bide that time, and not be hurried away in a suttee.\"", "\"Would I forgive him for the selfish idea, and prove my pardon by a\nreconciling kiss?\"", "\"No: I would rather be excused.\"", "Here I heard myself apostrophised as a \"hard little thing;\" and it was\nadded, \"any other woman would have been melted to marrow at hearing such\nstanzas crooned in her praise.\"", "I assured him I was naturally hard--very flinty, and that he would often\nfind me so; and that, moreover, I was determined to show him divers\nrugged points in my character before the ensuing four weeks elapsed: he\nshould know fully what sort of a bargain he had made, while there was yet\ntime to rescind it.", "\"Would I be quiet and talk rationally?\"", "\"I would be quiet if he liked, and as to talking rationally, I flattered\nmyself I was doing that now.\"", "He fretted, pished, and pshawed.", "\"Very good,\" I thought; \"you may fume\nand fidget as you please: but this is the best plan to pursue with you, I\nam certain.", "I like you more than I can say; but I'll not sink into a\nbathos of sentiment: and with this needle of repartee I'll keep you from\nthe edge of the gulf too; and, moreover, maintain by its pungent aid that\ndistance between you and myself most conducive to our real mutual\nadvantage.\"", "From less to more, I worked him up to considerable irritation; then,\nafter he had retired, in dudgeon, quite to the other end of the room, I\ngot up, and saying, \"I wish you good-night, sir,\" in my natural and\nwonted respectful manner, I slipped out by the side-door and got away.", "The system thus entered on, I pursued during the whole season of\nprobation; and with the best success.", "He was kept, to be sure, rather\ncross and crusty; but on the whole I could see he was excellently\nentertained, and that a lamb-like submission and turtle-dove sensibility,\nwhile fostering his despotism more, would have pleased his judgment,\nsatisfied his common-sense, and even suited his taste less.", "In other people's presence I was, as formerly, deferential and quiet; any\nother line of conduct being uncalled for: it was only in the evening\nconferences I thus thwarted and afflicted him.", "He continued to send for\nme punctually the moment the clock struck seven; though when I appeared\nbefore him now, he had no such honeyed terms as \"love\" and \"darling\" on\nhis lips: the best words at my service were \"provoking puppet,\"\n\"malicious elf,\" \"sprite,\" \"changeling,\" &c. For caresses, too, I now\ngot grimaces; for a pressure of the hand, a pinch on the arm; for a kiss\non the cheek, a severe tweak of the ear.", "It was all right: at present I\ndecidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender.", "Mrs.\nFairfax, I saw, approved me: her anxiety on my account vanished;\ntherefore I was certain I did well.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester affirmed I\nwas wearing him to skin and bone, and threatened awful vengeance for my\npresent conduct at some period fast coming.", "I laughed in my sleeve at\nhis menaces.", "\"I can keep you in reasonable check now,\" I reflected; \"and\nI don't doubt to be able to do it hereafter: if one expedient loses its\nvirtue, another must be devised.\"", "Yet after all my task was not an easy one; often I would rather have\npleased than teased him.", "My future husband was becoming to me my whole\nworld; and more than the world: almost my hope of heaven.", "He stood\nbetween me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes\nbetween man and the broad sun.", "I could not, in those days, see God for\nHis creature: of whom I had made an idol." ]

[ "I shall begin to-day.", "I know it: your request is granted\nthen--for the time.", "This is\nwhat I have to ask,--Why did you take such pains to make me believe you\nwished to marry Miss Ingram?\"", "\"Of course I did.", "\"He has!", "She surveyed my whole person: in her eyes I read that they had there\nfound no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma.", "she asked.", "\"Why?--am I a monster?\"", "\"In that field, Adele, I was walking late one evening about a fortnight\nsince--the evening of the day you helped me to make hay in the orchard\nmeadows; and, as I was tired with raking swaths, I sat down to rest me on\na stile; and there I took out a little book and a pencil, and began to\nwrite about a misfortune that befell me long ago, and a wish I had for\nhappy days to come: I was writing away very fast, though daylight was\nfading from the leaf, when something came up the path and stopped two\nyards off me.", "You\nwill stipulate, I see, for peculiar terms--what will they be?\"" ]

[ "\"You shall sojourn at Paris, Rome, and Naples: at Florence, Venice, and\nVienna: all the ground I have wandered over shall be re-trodden by you:\nwherever I stamped my hoof, your sylph's foot shall step also.", "But you have not yet asked for anything; you have prayed a gift to be\nwithdrawn: try again.\"", "I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder.", "\"Of course I did.", "The Eastern allusion bit me again.", "\"Is it really for love he is going to marry you?\"", "\"Ask me something now, Jane,--the least thing: I desire to be entreated--\"\n\n\"Indeed I will, sir; I have my petition all ready.\"", "\"I am not an angel,\" I asserted; \"and\nI will not be one till I die: I will be myself.", "he asked; \"all the sunshine is gone.", "She nodded again at the moon." ]

[ "Fairfax!\"", "exclaimed I, nettled; \"he is nothing like my\nfather!", "No one, who saw us together, would suppose it for an instant.", "Mr. Rochester looks as young, and is as young, as some men at five-and-\ntwenty.\"", "\"Is it really for love he is going to marry you?\"", "she asked.", "I was so hurt by her coldness and scepticism, that the tears rose to my\neyes.", "\"I am sorry to grieve you,\" pursued the widow; \"but you are so young, and\nso little acquainted with men, I wished to put you on your guard.", "It is\nan old saying that 'all is not gold that glitters;' and in this case I do\nfear there will be something found to be different to what either you or\nI expect.\"", "\"Why?--am I a monster?\"", "I said: \"is it impossible that Mr. Rochester\nshould have a sincere affection for me?\"" ]

[ "\n\nAs I rose and dressed, I thought over what had happened, and wondered if\nit were a dream.", "I could not be certain of the reality till I had seen\nMr. Rochester again, and heard him renew his words of love and promise.", "While arranging my hair, I looked at my face in the glass, and felt it\nwas no longer plain: there was hope in its aspect and life in its colour;\nand my eyes seemed as if they had beheld the fount of fruition, and\nborrowed beams from the lustrous ripple.", "I had often been unwilling to\nlook at my master, because I feared he could not be pleased at my look;\nbut I was sure I might lift my face to his now, and not cool his\naffection by its expression.", "I took a plain but clean and light summer\ndress from my drawer and put it on: it seemed no attire had ever so well\nbecome me, because none had I ever worn in so blissful a mood.", "I was not surprised, when I ran down into the hall, to see that a\nbrilliant June morning had succeeded to the tempest of the night; and to\nfeel, through the open glass door, the breathing of a fresh and fragrant\nbreeze.", "Nature must be gladsome when I was so happy.", "A beggar-woman and\nher little boy--pale, ragged objects both--were coming up the walk, and I\nran down and gave them all the money I happened to have in my purse--some\nthree or four shillings: good or bad, they must partake of my jubilee.", "The rooks cawed, and blither birds sang; but nothing was so merry or so\nmusical as my own rejoicing heart.", "Mrs. Fairfax surprised me by looking out of the window with a sad\ncountenance, and saying gravely--\"Miss Eyre, will you come to breakfast?\"", "He continued to send for\nme punctually the moment the clock struck seven; though when I appeared\nbefore him now, he had no such honeyed terms as \"love\" and \"darling\" on\nhis lips: the best words at my service were \"provoking puppet,\"\n\"malicious elf,\" \"sprite,\" \"changeling,\" &c. For caresses, too, I now\ngot grimaces; for a pressure of the hand, a pinch on the arm; for a kiss\non the cheek, a severe tweak of the ear.", "It was all right: at present I\ndecidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender.", "Mrs.\nFairfax, I saw, approved me: her anxiety on my account vanished;\ntherefore I was certain I did well.", "Meantime, Mr. Rochester affirmed I\nwas wearing him to skin and bone, and threatened awful vengeance for my\npresent conduct at some period fast coming.", "I laughed in my sleeve at\nhis menaces.", "\"I can keep you in reasonable check now,\" I reflected; \"and\nI don't doubt to be able to do it hereafter: if one expedient loses its\nvirtue, another must be devised.\"", "Yet after all my task was not an easy one; often I would rather have\npleased than teased him.", "My future husband was becoming to me my whole\nworld; and more than the world: almost my hope of heaven.", "He stood\nbetween me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes\nbetween man and the broad sun.", "I could not, in those days, see God for\nHis creature: of whom I had made an idol." ]

[ "\n\nThe month of courtship had wasted: its very last hours were being\nnumbered.", "There was no putting off the day that advanced--the bridal\nday; and all preparations for its arrival were complete.", "_I_, at least,\nhad nothing more to do: there were my trunks, packed, locked, corded,\nranged in a row along the wall of my little chamber; to-morrow, at this\ntime, they would be far on their road to London: and so should I\n(D.V.", "),--or rather, not I, but one Jane Rochester, a person whom as yet I\nknew not.", "The cards of address alone remained to nail on: they lay, four\nlittle squares, in the drawer.", "Mr. Rochester had himself written the\ndirection, \"Mrs. Rochester, --- Hotel, London,\" on each: I could not\npersuade myself to affix them, or to have them affixed.", "Mrs. Rochester!", "She did not exist: she would not be born till to-morrow, some time after\neight o'clock a.m.; and I would wait to be assured she had come into the\nworld alive before I assigned to her all that property.", "It was enough\nthat in yonder closet, opposite my dressing-table, garments said to be\nhers had already displaced my black stuff Lowood frock and straw bonnet:\nfor not to me appertained that suit of wedding raiment; the\npearl-coloured robe, the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped\nportmanteau.", "I shut the closet to conceal the strange, wraith-like\napparel it contained; which, at this evening hour--nine o'clock--gave out\ncertainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment.", "\"I\nwill leave you by yourself, white dream,\" I said.", "\"I am feverish: I hear\nthe wind blowing: I will go out of doors and feel it.\"", "It was not only the hurry of preparation that made me feverish; not only\nthe anticipation of the great change--the new life which was to commence\nto-morrow: both these circumstances had their share, doubtless, in\nproducing that restless, excited mood which hurried me forth at this late\nhour into the darkening grounds: but a third cause influenced my mind\nmore than they.", "I had at heart a strange and anxious thought.", "Something had happened\nwhich I could not comprehend; no one knew of or had seen the event but\nmyself: it had taken place the preceding night.", "Mr. Rochester that night\nwas absent from home; nor was he yet returned: business had called him to\na small estate of two or three farms he possessed thirty miles\noff--business it was requisite he should settle in person, previous to\nhis meditated departure from England.", "I waited now his return; eager to\ndisburthen my mind, and to seek of him the solution of the enigma that\nperplexed me.", "Stay till he comes, reader; and, when I disclose my secret\nto him, you shall share the confidence.", "I sought the orchard, driven to its shelter by the wind, which all day\nhad blown strong and full from the south, without, however, bringing a\nspeck of rain.", "Instead of subsiding as night drew on, it seemed to\naugment its rush and deepen its roar: the trees blew steadfastly one way,\nnever writhing round, and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an\nhour; so continuous was the strain bending their branchy heads\nnorthward--the clouds drifted from pole to pole, fast following, mass on\nmass: no glimpse of blue sky had been visible that July day.", "It was not without a certain wild pleasure I ran before the wind,\ndelivering my trouble of mind to the measureless air-torrent thundering\nthrough space.", "Descending the laurel walk, I faced the wreck of the\nchestnut-tree; it stood up black and riven: the trunk, split down the\ncentre, gasped ghastly.", "The cloven halves were not broken from each\nother, for the firm base and strong roots kept them unsundered below;\nthough community of vitality was destroyed--the sap could flow no more:\ntheir great boughs on each side were dead, and next winter's tempests\nwould be sure to fell one or both to earth: as yet, however, they might\nbe said to form one tree--a ruin, but an entire ruin.", "\"You did right to hold fast to each other,\" I said: as if the monster-\nsplinters were living things, and could hear me.", "\"I think, scathed as\nyou look, and charred and scorched, there must be a little sense of life\nin you yet, rising out of that adhesion at the faithful, honest roots:\nyou will never have green leaves more--never more see birds making nests\nand singing idyls in your boughs; the time of pleasure and love is over\nwith you: but you are not desolate: each of you has a comrade to\nsympathise with him in his decay.\"", "As I looked up at them, the moon\nappeared momentarily in that part of the sky which filled their fissure;\nher disk was blood-red and half overcast; she seemed to throw on me one\nbewildered, dreary glance, and buried herself again instantly in the deep\ndrift of cloud.", "The wind fell, for a second, round Thornfield; but far\naway over wood and water, poured a wild, melancholy wail: it was sad to\nlisten to, and I ran off again.", "Here and there I strayed through the orchard, gathered up the apples with\nwhich the grass round the tree roots was thickly strewn; then I employed\nmyself in dividing the ripe from the unripe; I carried them into the\nhouse and put them away in the store-room.", "Then I repaired to the\nlibrary to ascertain whether the fire was lit, for, though summer, I knew\non such a gloomy evening Mr. Rochester would like to see a cheerful\nhearth when he came in: yes, the fire had been kindled some time, and\nburnt well.", "I placed his arm-chair by the chimney-corner: I wheeled the\ntable near it: I let down the curtain, and had the candles brought in\nready for lighting.", "More restless than ever, when I had completed these\narrangements I could not sit still, nor even remain in the house: a\nlittle time-piece in the room and the old clock in the hall\nsimultaneously struck ten.", "\"How late it grows!\"", "I said.", "\"I will run down to the gates: it is\nmoonlight at intervals; I can see a good way on the road.", "He may be\ncoming now, and to meet him will save some minutes of suspense.\"", "The wind roared high in the great trees which embowered the gates; but\nthe road as far as I could see, to the right hand and the left, was all\nstill and solitary: save for the shadows of clouds crossing it at\nintervals as the moon looked out, it was but a long pale line, unvaried\nby one moving speck.", "A puerile tear dimmed my eye while I looked--a tear of disappointment and\nimpatience; ashamed of it, I wiped it away.", "I lingered; the moon shut\nherself wholly within her chamber, and drew close her curtain of dense\ncloud: the night grew dark; rain came driving fast on the gale.", "\"I wish he would come!", "I wish he would come!\"", "I exclaimed, seized with\nhypochondriac foreboding.", "I had expected his arrival before tea; now it\nwas dark: what could keep him?", "Had an accident happened?", "The event of\nlast night again recurred to me.", "I interpreted it as a warning of\ndisaster.", "I feared my hopes were too bright to be realised; and I had\nenjoyed so much bliss lately that I imagined my fortune had passed its\nmeridian, and must now decline.", "\"Well, I cannot return to the house,\" I thought; \"I cannot sit by the\nfireside, while he is abroad in inclement weather: better tire my limbs\nthan strain my heart; I will go forward and meet him.\"", "I set out; I walked fast, but not far: ere I had measured a quarter of a\nmile, I heard the tramp of hoofs; a horseman came on, full gallop; a dog\nran by his side.", "Away with evil presentiment!", "It was he: here he was,\nmounted on Mesrour, followed by Pilot.", "He saw me; for the moon had\nopened a blue field in the sky, and rode in it watery bright: he took his\nhat off, and waved it round his head.", "I now ran to meet him.", "\"There!\"", "he exclaimed, as he stretched out his hand and bent from the\nsaddle: \"You can't do without me, that is evident.", "Step on my boot-toe;\ngive me both hands: mount!\"", "I obeyed: joy made me agile: I sprang up before him.", "A hearty kissing I\ngot for a welcome, and some boastful triumph, which I swallowed as well\nas I could.", "He checked himself in his exultation to demand, \"But is\nthere anything the matter, Janet, that you come to meet me at such an\nhour?", "Is there anything wrong?\"", "\"No, but I thought you would never come.", "I could not bear to wait in the\nhouse for you, especially with this rain and wind.\"", "\"Rain and wind, indeed!", "Yes, you are dripping like a mermaid; pull my\ncloak round you: but I think you are feverish, Jane: both your cheek and\nhand are burning hot.", "I ask again, is there anything the matter?\"", "\"Nothing now; I am neither afraid nor unhappy.\"", "\"Then you have been both?\"", "\"Rather: but I'll tell you all about it by-and-bye, sir; and I daresay\nyou will only laugh at me for my pains.\"", "\"I'll laugh at you heartily when to-morrow is past; till then I dare not:\nmy prize is not certain.", "This is you, who have been as slippery as an\neel this last month, and as thorny as a briar-rose?", "I could not lay a\nfinger anywhere but I was pricked; and now I seem to have gathered up a\nstray lamb in my arms.", "You wandered out of the fold to seek your\nshepherd, did you, Jane?\"", "\"I wanted you: but don't boast.", "Here we are at Thornfield: now let me\nget down.\"", "He landed me on the pavement.", "As John took his horse, and he followed me\ninto the hall, he told me to make haste and put something dry on, and\nthen return to him in the library; and he stopped me, as I made for the\nstaircase, to extort a promise that I would not be long: nor was I long;\nin five minutes I rejoined him.", "I found him at supper.", "\"Take a seat and bear me company, Jane: please God, it is the last meal\nbut one you will eat at Thornfield Hall for a long time.\"", "I sat down near him, but told him I could not eat.", "\"Is it because you\nhave the prospect of a journey before you, Jane?", "Is it the thoughts of\ngoing to London that takes away your appetite?\"", "\"I cannot see my prospects clearly to-night, sir; and I hardly know what\nthoughts I have in my head.", "Everything in life seems unreal.\"", "\"Except me: I am substantial enough--touch me.\"", "\"You, sir, are the most phantom-like of all: you are a mere dream.\"", "He held out his hand, laughing.", "\"Is that a dream?\"", "said he, placing it\nclose to my eyes.", "He had a rounded, muscular, and vigorous hand, as well\nas a long, strong arm.", "\"Yes; though I touch it, it is a dream,\" said I, as I put it down from\nbefore my face.", "\"Sir, have you finished supper?\"", "\"Yes, Jane.\"", "I rang the bell and ordered away the tray.", "When we were again alone, I\nstirred the fire, and then took a low seat at my master's knee.", "\"It is near midnight,\" I said.", "\"Yes: but remember, Jane, you promised to wake with me the night before\nmy wedding.\"", "\"I did; and I will keep my promise, for an hour or two at least: I have\nno wish to go to bed.\"", "\"Are all your arrangements complete?\"", "\"All, sir.\"", "\"And on my part likewise,\" he returned, \"I have settled everything; and\nwe shall leave Thornfield to-morrow, within half-an-hour after our return\nfrom church.\"", "\"Very well, sir.\"", "\"With what an extraordinary smile you uttered that word--'very well,'\nJane!", "What a bright spot of colour you have on each cheek!", "and how\nstrangely your eyes glitter!", "Are you well?\"", "\"I believe I am.\"", "\"Believe!", "What is the matter?", "Tell me what you feel.\"", "\"I could not, sir: no words could tell you what I feel.", "I wish this\npresent hour would never end: who knows with what fate the next may come\ncharged?\"", "\"This is hypochondria, Jane.", "You have been over-excited, or\nover-fatigued.\"", "\"Do you, sir, feel calm and happy?\"", "\"Calm?--no: but happy--to the heart's core.\"", "I looked up at him to read the signs of bliss in his face: it was ardent\nand flushed.", "\"Give me your confidence, Jane,\" he said: \"relieve your mind of any\nweight that oppresses it, by imparting it to me.", "What do you fear?--that\nI shall not prove a good husband?\"", "\"It is the idea farthest from my thoughts.\"", "\"Are you apprehensive of the new sphere you are about to enter?--of the\nnew life into which you are passing?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"You puzzle me, Jane: your look and tone of sorrowful audacity perplex\nand pain me.", "I want an explanation.\"", "\"Then, sir, listen.", "You were from home last night?\"", "\"I was: I know that; and you hinted a while ago at something which had\nhappened in my absence:--nothing, probably, of consequence; but, in\nshort, it has disturbed you.", "Let me hear it.", "Mrs. Fairfax has said\nsomething, perhaps?", "or you have overheard the servants talk?--your\nsensitive self-respect has been wounded?\"", "\"No, sir.\"", "It struck twelve--I waited till the time-piece had concluded\nits silver chime, and the clock its hoarse, vibrating stroke, and then I\nproceeded.", "\"All day yesterday I was very busy, and very happy in my ceaseless\nbustle; for I am not, as you seem to think, troubled by any haunting\nfears about the new sphere, et cetera: I think it a glorious thing to\nhave the hope of living with you, because I love you.", "No, sir, don't\ncaress me now--let me talk undisturbed.", "Yesterday I trusted well in\nProvidence, and believed that events were working together for your good\nand mine: it was a fine day, if you recollect--the calmness of the air\nand sky forbade apprehensions respecting your safety or comfort on your\njourney.", "I walked a little while on the pavement after tea, thinking of\nyou; and I beheld you in imagination so near me, I scarcely missed your\nactual presence.", "I thought of the life that lay before me--_your_ life,\nsir--an existence more expansive and stirring than my own: as much more\nso as the depths of the sea to which the brook runs are than the shallows\nof its own strait channel.", "I wondered why moralists call this world a\ndreary wilderness: for me it blossomed like a rose.", "Just at sunset, the\nair turned cold and the sky cloudy: I went in, Sophie called me upstairs\nto look at my wedding-dress, which they had just brought; and under it in\nthe box I found your present--the veil which, in your princely\nextravagance, you sent for from London: resolved, I suppose, since I\nwould not have jewels, to cheat me into accepting something as costly.", "I\nsmiled as I unfolded it, and devised how I would tease you about your\naristocratic tastes, and your efforts to masque your plebeian bride in\nthe attributes of a peeress.", "I thought how I would carry down to you the\nsquare of unembroidered blond I had myself prepared as a covering for my\nlow-born head, and ask if that was not good enough for a woman who could\nbring her husband neither fortune, beauty, nor connections.", "I saw\nplainly how you would look; and heard your impetuous republican answers,\nand your haughty disavowal of any necessity on your part to augment your\nwealth, or elevate your standing, by marrying either a purse or a\ncoronet.\"", "\"How well you read me, you witch!\"", "interposed Mr. Rochester: \"but what\ndid you find in the veil besides its embroidery?", "Did you find poison, or\na dagger, that you look so mournful now?\"", "\"No, no, sir; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric, I found\nnothing save Fairfax Rochester's pride; and that did not scare me,\nbecause I am used to the sight of the demon.", "But, sir, as it grew dark,\nthe wind rose: it blew yesterday evening, not as it blows now--wild and\nhigh--but 'with a sullen, moaning sound' far more eerie.", "I wished you\nwere at home.", "I came into this room, and the sight of the empty chair\nand fireless hearth chilled me.", "For some time after I went to bed, I\ncould not sleep--a sense of anxious excitement distressed me.", "The gale\nstill rising, seemed to my ear to muffle a mournful under-sound; whether\nin the house or abroad I could not at first tell, but it recurred,\ndoubtful yet doleful at every lull; at last I made out it must be some\ndog howling at a distance.", "I was glad when it ceased.", "On sleeping, I\ncontinued in dreams the idea of a dark and gusty night.", "I continued also\nthe wish to be with you, and experienced a strange, regretful\nconsciousness of some barrier dividing us.", "During all my first sleep, I\nwas following the windings of an unknown road; total obscurity environed\nme; rain pelted me; I was burdened with the charge of a little child: a\nvery small creature, too young and feeble to walk, and which shivered in\nmy cold arms, and wailed piteously in my ear.", "I thought, sir, that you\nwere on the road a long way before me; and I strained every nerve to\novertake you, and made effort on effort to utter your name and entreat\nyou to stop--but my movements were fettered, and my voice still died away\ninarticulate; while you, I felt, withdrew farther and farther every\nmoment.\"", "\"And these dreams weigh on your spirits now, Jane, when I am close to\nyou?", "Little nervous subject!", "Forget visionary woe, and think only of\nreal happiness!", "You say you love me, Janet: yes--I will not forget that;\nand you cannot deny it.", "_Those_ words did not die inarticulate on your\nlips.", "I heard them clear and soft: a thought too solemn perhaps, but\nsweet as music--'I think it is a glorious thing to have the hope of\nliving with you, Edward, because I love you.'", "Do you love me,\nJane?--repeat it.\"", "\"I do, sir--I do, with my whole heart.\"", "\"Well,\" he said, after some minutes' silence, \"it is strange; but that\nsentence has penetrated my breast painfully.", "Why?", "I think because you\nsaid it with such an earnest, religious energy, and because your upward\ngaze at me now is the very sublime of faith, truth, and devotion: it is\ntoo much as if some spirit were near me.", "Look wicked, Jane: as you know\nwell how to look: coin one of your wild, shy, provoking smiles; tell me\nyou hate me--tease me, vex me; do anything but move me: I would rather be\nincensed than saddened.\"", "\"I will tease you and vex you to your heart's content, when I have\nfinished my tale: but hear me to the end.\"", "\"I thought, Jane, you had told me all.", "I thought I had found the source\nof your melancholy in a dream.\"", "I shook my head.", "\"What!", "is there more?", "But I will not believe it to be\nanything important.", "I warn you of incredulity beforehand.", "Go on.\"", "The disquietude of his air, the somewhat apprehensive impatience of his\nmanner, surprised me: but I proceeded.", "\"I dreamt another dream, sir: that Thornfield Hall was a dreary ruin, the\nretreat of bats and owls.", "I thought that of all the stately front\nnothing remained but a shell-like wall, very high and very\nfragile-looking.", "I wandered, on a moonlight night, through the grass-\ngrown enclosure within: here I stumbled over a marble hearth, and there\nover a fallen fragment of cornice.", "Wrapped up in a shawl, I still\ncarried the unknown little child: I might not lay it down anywhere,\nhowever tired were my arms--however much its weight impeded my progress,\nI must retain it.", "I heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the\nroad; I was sure it was you; and you were departing for many years and\nfor a distant country.", "I climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous\nhaste, eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top: the stones rolled\nfrom under my feet, the ivy branches I grasped gave way, the child clung\nround my neck in terror, and almost strangled me; at last I gained the\nsummit.", "I saw you like a speck on a white track, lessening every moment.", "The blast blew so strong I could not stand.", "I sat down on the narrow\nledge; I hushed the scared infant in my lap: you turned an angle of the\nroad: I bent forward to take a last look; the wall crumbled; I was\nshaken; the child rolled from my knee, I lost my balance, fell, and\nwoke.\"", "\"Now, Jane, that is all.\"", "\"All the preface, sir; the tale is yet to come.", "On waking, a gleam\ndazzled my eyes; I thought--Oh, it is daylight!", "But I was mistaken; it\nwas only candlelight.", "Sophie, I supposed, had come in.", "There was a\nlight in the dressing-table, and the door of the closet, where, before\ngoing to bed, I had hung my wedding-dress and veil, stood open; I heard a\nrustling there.", "I asked, 'Sophie, what are you doing?'", "No one answered;\nbut a form emerged from the closet; it took the light, held it aloft, and\nsurveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau.", "'Sophie!", "Sophie!'", "I\nagain cried: and still it was silent.", "I had risen up in bed, I bent\nforward: first surprise, then bewilderment, came over me; and then my\nblood crept cold through my veins.", "Mr. Rochester, this was not Sophie,\nit was not Leah, it was not Mrs. Fairfax: it was not--no, I was sure of\nit, and am still--it was not even that strange woman, Grace Poole.\"", "\"It must have been one of them,\" interrupted my master.", "\"No, sir, I solemnly assure you to the contrary.", "The shape standing\nbefore me had never crossed my eyes within the precincts of Thornfield\nHall before; the height, the contour were new to me.\"", "\"Describe it, Jane.\"", "\"It seemed, sir, a woman, tall and large, with thick and dark hair\nhanging long down her back.", "I know not what dress she had on: it was\nwhite and straight; but whether gown, sheet, or shroud, I cannot tell.\"", "\"Did you see her face?\"", "\"Not at first.", "But presently she took my veil from its place; she held\nit up, gazed at it long, and then she threw it over her own head, and\nturned to the mirror.", "At that moment I saw the reflection of the visage\nand features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass.\"", "\"And how were they?\"", "\"Fearful and ghastly to me--oh, sir, I never saw a face like it!", "It was\na discoloured face--it was a savage face.", "I wish I could forget the roll\nof the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments!\"", "\"Ghosts are usually pale, Jane.\"", "\"This, sir, was purple: the lips were swelled and dark; the brow\nfurrowed: the black eyebrows widely raised over the bloodshot eyes.", "Shall\nI tell you of what it reminded me?\"", "\"You may.\"", "\"Of the foul German spectre--the Vampyre.\"", "\"Ah!--what did it do?\"", "\"Sir, it removed my veil from its gaunt head, rent it in two parts, and\nflinging both on the floor, trampled on them.\"", "{It removed my veil from its gaunt head, rent it in two parts, and\nflinging both on the floor, trampled on them: p272.jpg}\n\n\"Afterwards?\"", "\"It drew aside the window-curtain and looked out; perhaps it saw dawn\napproaching, for, taking the candle, it retreated to the door.", "Just at\nmy bedside, the figure stopped: the fiery eyes glared upon me--she thrust\nup her candle close to my face, and extinguished it under my eyes.", "I was\naware her lurid visage flamed over mine, and I lost consciousness: for\nthe second time in my life--only the second time--I became insensible\nfrom terror.\"", "\"Who was with you when you revived?\"", "\"No one, sir, but the broad day.", "I rose, bathed my head and face in\nwater, drank a long draught; felt that though enfeebled I was not ill,\nand determined that to none but you would I impart this vision.", "Now,\nsir, tell me who and what that woman was?\"", "\"The creature of an over-stimulated brain; that is certain.", "I must be\ncareful of you, my treasure: nerves like yours were not made for rough\nhandling.\"", "\"Sir, depend on it, my nerves were not in fault; the thing was real: the\ntransaction actually took place.\"", "\"And your previous dreams, were they real too?", "Is Thornfield Hall a\nruin?", "Am I severed from you by insuperable obstacles?", "Am I leaving you\nwithout a tear--without a kiss--without a word?\"", "\"Not yet.\"", "\"Am I about to do it?", "Why, the day is already commenced which is to bind\nus indissolubly; and when we are once united, there shall be no\nrecurrence of these mental terrors: I guarantee that.\"", "\"Mental terrors, sir!", "I wish I could believe them to be only such: I\nwish it more now than ever; since even you cannot explain to me the\nmystery of that awful visitant.\"", "\"And since I cannot do it, Jane, it must have been unreal.\"", "\"But, sir, when I said so to myself on rising this morning, and when I\nlooked round the room to gather courage and comfort from the cheerful\naspect of each familiar object in full daylight, there--on the carpet--I\nsaw what gave the distinct lie to my hypothesis,--the veil, torn from top\nto bottom in two halves!\"", "I felt Mr. Rochester start and shudder; he hastily flung his arms round\nme.", "\"Thank God!\"", "he exclaimed, \"that if anything malignant did come near\nyou last night, it was only the veil that was harmed.", "Oh, to think what\nmight have happened!\"", "He drew his breath short, and strained me so close to him, I could\nscarcely pant.", "After some minutes' silence, he continued, cheerily--\n\n\"Now, Janet, I'll explain to you all about it.", "It was half dream, half\nreality.", "A woman did, I doubt not, enter your room: and that woman\nwas--must have been--Grace Poole.", "You call her a strange being yourself:\nfrom all you know, you have reason so to call her--what did she do to me?", "what to Mason?", "In a state between sleeping and waking, you noticed her\nentrance and her actions; but feverish, almost delirious as you were, you\nascribed to her a goblin appearance different from her own: the long\ndishevelled hair, the swelled black face, the exaggerated stature, were\nfigments of imagination; results of nightmare: the spiteful tearing of\nthe veil was real: and it is like her.", "I see you would ask why I keep\nsuch a woman in my house: when we have been married a year and a day, I\nwill tell you; but not now.", "Are you satisfied, Jane?", "Do you accept my\nsolution of the mystery?\"", "I reflected, and in truth it appeared to me the only possible one:\nsatisfied I was not, but to please him I endeavoured to appear\nso--relieved, I certainly did feel; so I answered him with a contented\nsmile.", "And now, as it was long past one, I prepared to leave him.", "\"Does not Sophie sleep with Adele in the nursery?\"", "he asked, as I lit my\ncandle.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"And there is room enough in Adele's little bed for you.", "You must share\nit with her to-night, Jane: it is no wonder that the incident you have\nrelated should make you nervous, and I would rather you did not sleep\nalone: promise me to go to the nursery.\"", "\"I shall be very glad to do so, sir.\"", "\"And fasten the door securely on the inside.", "Wake Sophie when you go\nupstairs, under pretence of requesting her to rouse you in good time to-\nmorrow; for you must be dressed and have finished breakfast before eight.", "And now, no more sombre thoughts: chase dull care away, Janet.", "Don't you\nhear to what soft whispers the wind has fallen?", "and there is no more\nbeating of rain against the window-panes: look here\" (he lifted up the\ncurtain)--\"it is a lovely night!\"", "It was.", "Half heaven was pure and stainless: the clouds, now trooping\nbefore the wind, which had shifted to the west, were filing off eastward\nin long, silvered columns.", "The moon shone peacefully.", "\"Well,\" said Mr. Rochester, gazing inquiringly into my eyes, \"how is my\nJanet now?\"", "\"The night is serene, sir; and so am I.\"", "\"And you will not dream of separation and sorrow to-night; but of happy\nlove and blissful union.\"", "This prediction was but half fulfilled: I did not indeed dream of sorrow,\nbut as little did I dream of joy; for I never slept at all.", "With little\nAdele in my arms, I watched the slumber of childhood--so tranquil, so\npassionless, so innocent--and waited for the coming day: all my life was\nawake and astir in my frame: and as soon as the sun rose I rose too.", "I\nremember Adele clung to me as I left her: I remember I kissed her as I\nloosened her little hands from my neck; and I cried over her with strange\nemotion, and quitted her because I feared my sobs would break her still\nsound repose.", "She seemed the emblem of my past life; and here I was now\nto array myself to meet, the dread, but adored, type of my unknown future\nday." ]

[ "I waited now his return; eager to\ndisburthen my mind, and to seek of him the solution of the enigma that\nperplexed me.", "I had expected his arrival before tea; now it\nwas dark: what could keep him?", "I set out; I walked fast, but not far: ere I had measured a quarter of a\nmile, I heard the tramp of hoofs; a horseman came on, full gallop; a dog\nran by his side.", "\"Give me your confidence, Jane,\" he said: \"relieve your mind of any\nweight that oppresses it, by imparting it to me.", "\"I was: I know that; and you hinted a while ago at something which had\nhappened in my absence:--nothing, probably, of consequence; but, in\nshort, it has disturbed you.", "I thought, sir, that you\nwere on the road a long way before me; and I strained every nerve to\novertake you, and made effort on effort to utter your name and entreat\nyou to stop--but my movements were fettered, and my voice still died away\ninarticulate; while you, I felt, withdrew farther and farther every\nmoment.\"", "'Sophie!", "Sophie!'", "At that moment I saw the reflection of the visage\nand features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass.\"", "\"Am I about to do it?" ]

[ "I felt Mr. Rochester start and shudder; he hastily flung his arms round\nme.", "\"It must have been one of them,\" interrupted my master.", "Had an accident happened?", "Don't you\nhear to what soft whispers the wind has fallen?", "After some minutes' silence, he continued, cheerily--\n\n\"Now, Janet, I'll explain to you all about it.", "),--or rather, not I, but one Jane Rochester, a person whom as yet I\nknew not.", "Wrapped up in a shawl, I still\ncarried the unknown little child: I might not lay it down anywhere,\nhowever tired were my arms--however much its weight impeded my progress,\nI must retain it.", "Oh, to think what\nmight have happened!\"", "Mr. Rochester that night\nwas absent from home; nor was he yet returned: business had called him to\na small estate of two or three farms he possessed thirty miles\noff--business it was requisite he should settle in person, previous to\nhis meditated departure from England.", "It was." ]

[ "I thought of the life that lay before me--_your_ life,\nsir--an existence more expansive and stirring than my own: as much more\nso as the depths of the sea to which the brook runs are than the shallows\nof its own strait channel.", "I wondered why moralists call this world a\ndreary wilderness: for me it blossomed like a rose.", "Just at sunset, the\nair turned cold and the sky cloudy: I went in, Sophie called me upstairs\nto look at my wedding-dress, which they had just brought; and under it in\nthe box I found your present--the veil which, in your princely\nextravagance, you sent for from London: resolved, I suppose, since I\nwould not have jewels, to cheat me into accepting something as costly.", "I\nsmiled as I unfolded it, and devised how I would tease you about your\naristocratic tastes, and your efforts to masque your plebeian bride in\nthe attributes of a peeress.", "I thought how I would carry down to you the\nsquare of unembroidered blond I had myself prepared as a covering for my\nlow-born head, and ask if that was not good enough for a woman who could\nbring her husband neither fortune, beauty, nor connections.", "I saw\nplainly how you would look; and heard your impetuous republican answers,\nand your haughty disavowal of any necessity on your part to augment your\nwealth, or elevate your standing, by marrying either a purse or a\ncoronet.\"", "\"How well you read me, you witch!\"", "interposed Mr. Rochester: \"but what\ndid you find in the veil besides its embroidery?", "Did you find poison, or\na dagger, that you look so mournful now?\"", "\"No, no, sir; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric, I found\nnothing save Fairfax Rochester's pride; and that did not scare me,\nbecause I am used to the sight of the demon.", "But, sir, as it grew dark,\nthe wind rose: it blew yesterday evening, not as it blows now--wild and\nhigh--but 'with a sullen, moaning sound' far more eerie." ]

[ "\n\nThe month of courtship had wasted: its very last hours were being\nnumbered.", "There was no putting off the day that advanced--the bridal\nday; and all preparations for its arrival were complete.", "_I_, at least,\nhad nothing more to do: there were my trunks, packed, locked, corded,\nranged in a row along the wall of my little chamber; to-morrow, at this\ntime, they would be far on their road to London: and so should I\n(D.V.", "),--or rather, not I, but one Jane Rochester, a person whom as yet I\nknew not.", "The cards of address alone remained to nail on: they lay, four\nlittle squares, in the drawer.", "Mr. Rochester had himself written the\ndirection, \"Mrs. Rochester, --- Hotel, London,\" on each: I could not\npersuade myself to affix them, or to have them affixed.", "Mrs. Rochester!", "She did not exist: she would not be born till to-morrow, some time after\neight o'clock a.m.; and I would wait to be assured she had come into the\nworld alive before I assigned to her all that property.", "It was enough\nthat in yonder closet, opposite my dressing-table, garments said to be\nhers had already displaced my black stuff Lowood frock and straw bonnet:\nfor not to me appertained that suit of wedding raiment; the\npearl-coloured robe, the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped\nportmanteau.", "I shut the closet to conceal the strange, wraith-like\napparel it contained; which, at this evening hour--nine o'clock--gave out\ncertainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment.", "It was.", "Half heaven was pure and stainless: the clouds, now trooping\nbefore the wind, which had shifted to the west, were filing off eastward\nin long, silvered columns.", "The moon shone peacefully.", "\"Well,\" said Mr. Rochester, gazing inquiringly into my eyes, \"how is my\nJanet now?\"", "\"The night is serene, sir; and so am I.\"", "\"And you will not dream of separation and sorrow to-night; but of happy\nlove and blissful union.\"", "This prediction was but half fulfilled: I did not indeed dream of sorrow,\nbut as little did I dream of joy; for I never slept at all.", "With little\nAdele in my arms, I watched the slumber of childhood--so tranquil, so\npassionless, so innocent--and waited for the coming day: all my life was\nawake and astir in my frame: and as soon as the sun rose I rose too.", "I\nremember Adele clung to me as I left her: I remember I kissed her as I\nloosened her little hands from my neck; and I cried over her with strange\nemotion, and quitted her because I feared my sobs would break her still\nsound repose.", "She seemed the emblem of my past life; and here I was now\nto array myself to meet, the dread, but adored, type of my unknown future\nday." ]

[ "\n\nSophie came at seven to dress me: she was very long indeed in\naccomplishing her task; so long that Mr. Rochester, grown, I suppose,\nimpatient of my delay, sent up to ask why I did not come.", "She was just\nfastening my veil (the plain square of blond after all) to my hair with a\nbrooch; I hurried from under her hands as soon as I could.", "\"Stop!\"", "she cried in French.", "\"Look at yourself in the mirror: you have\nnot taken one peep.\"", "So I turned at the door: I saw a robed and veiled figure, so unlike my\nusual self that it seemed almost the image of a stranger.", "\"Jane!\"", "called\na voice, and I hastened down.", "I was received at the foot of the stairs\nby Mr. Rochester.", "\"Lingerer!\"", "he said, \"my brain is on fire with impatience, and you tarry\nso long!\"", "He took me into the dining-room, surveyed me keenly all over, pronounced\nme \"fair as a lily, and not only the pride of his life, but the desire of\nhis eyes,\" and then telling me he would give me but ten minutes to eat\nsome breakfast, he rang the bell.", "One of his lately hired servants, a\nfootman, answered it.", "\"Is John getting the carriage ready?\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Is the luggage brought down?\"", "\"They are bringing it down, sir.\"", "\"Go you to the church: see if Mr. Wood (the clergyman) and the clerk are\nthere: return and tell me.\"", "The church, as the reader knows, was but just beyond the gates; the\nfootman soon returned.", "\"Mr. Wood is in the vestry, sir, putting on his surplice.\"", "\"And the carriage?\"", "\"The horses are harnessing.\"", "\"We shall not want it to go to church; but it must be ready the moment we\nreturn: all the boxes and luggage arranged and strapped on, and the\ncoachman in his seat.\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Jane, are you ready?\"", "I rose.", "There were no groomsmen, no bridesmaids, no relatives to wait\nfor or marshal: none but Mr. Rochester and I. Mrs. Fairfax stood in the\nhall as we passed.", "I would fain have spoken to her, but my hand was\nheld by a grasp of iron: I was hurried along by a stride I could hardly\nfollow; and to look at Mr. Rochester's face was to feel that not a second\nof delay would be tolerated for any purpose.", "I wonder what other\nbridegroom ever looked as he did--so bent up to a purpose, so grimly\nresolute: or who, under such steadfast brows, ever revealed such flaming\nand flashing eyes.", "I know not whether the day was fair or foul; in descending the drive, I\ngazed neither on sky nor earth: my heart was with my eyes; and both\nseemed migrated into Mr. Rochester's frame.", "I wanted to see the\ninvisible thing on which, as we went along, he appeared to fasten a\nglance fierce and fell.", "I wanted to feel the thoughts whose force he\nseemed breasting and resisting.", "At the churchyard wicket he stopped: he discovered I was quite out of\nbreath.", "\"Am I cruel in my love?\"", "he said.", "\"Delay an instant: lean on\nme, Jane.\"", "And now I can recall the picture of the grey old house of God rising calm\nbefore me, of a rook wheeling round the steeple, of a ruddy morning sky\nbeyond.", "I remember something, too, of the green grave-mounds; and I have\nnot forgotten, either, two figures of strangers straying amongst the low\nhillocks and reading the mementoes graven on the few mossy head-stones.", "I\nnoticed them, because, as they saw us, they passed round to the back of\nthe church; and I doubted not they were going to enter by the side-aisle\ndoor and witness the ceremony.", "By Mr. Rochester they were not observed;\nhe was earnestly looking at my face from which the blood had, I daresay,\nmomentarily fled: for I felt my forehead dewy, and my cheeks and lips\ncold.", "When I rallied, which I soon did, he walked gently with me up the\npath to the porch.", "We entered the quiet and humble temple; the priest waited in his white\nsurplice at the lowly altar, the clerk beside him.", "All was still: two\nshadows only moved in a remote corner.", "My conjecture had been correct:\nthe strangers had slipped in before us, and they now stood by the vault\nof the Rochesters, their backs towards us, viewing through the rails the\nold time-stained marble tomb, where a kneeling angel guarded the remains\nof Damer de Rochester, slain at Marston Moor in the time of the civil\nwars, and of Elizabeth, his wife.", "Our place was taken at the communion rails.", "Hearing a cautious step\nbehind me, I glanced over my shoulder: one of the strangers--a gentleman,\nevidently--was advancing up the chancel.", "The service began.", "The\nexplanation of the intent of matrimony was gone through; and then the\nclergyman came a step further forward, and, bending slightly towards Mr.\nRochester, went on.", "\"I require and charge you both (as ye will answer at the dreadful day of\njudgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed), that if\neither of you know any impediment why ye may not lawfully be joined\ntogether in matrimony, ye do now confess it; for be ye well assured that\nso many as are coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow, are\nnot joined together by God, neither is their matrimony lawful.\"", "He paused, as the custom is.", "When is the pause after that sentence ever\nbroken by reply?", "Not, perhaps, once in a hundred years.", "And the\nclergyman, who had not lifted his eyes from his book, and had held his\nbreath but for a moment, was proceeding: his hand was already stretched\ntowards Mr. Rochester, as his lips unclosed to ask, \"Wilt thou have this\nwoman for thy wedded wife?\"", "--when a distinct and near voice said--\n\n\"The marriage cannot go on: I declare the existence of an impediment.\"", "The clergyman looked up at the speaker and stood mute; the clerk did the\nsame; Mr. Rochester moved slightly, as if an earthquake had rolled under\nhis feet: taking a firmer footing, and not turning his head or eyes, he\nsaid, \"Proceed.\"", "Profound silence fell when he had uttered that word, with deep but low\nintonation.", "Presently Mr. Wood said--\n\n\"I cannot proceed without some investigation into what has been asserted,\nand evidence of its truth or falsehood.\"", "\"The ceremony is quite broken off,\" subjoined the voice behind us.", "\"I am\nin a condition to prove my allegation: an insuperable impediment to this\nmarriage exists.\"", "Mr. Rochester heard, but heeded not: he stood stubborn and rigid, making\nno movement but to possess himself of my hand.", "What a hot and strong\ngrasp he had!", "and how like quarried marble was his pale, firm, massive\nfront at this moment!", "How his eye shone, still watchful, and yet wild\nbeneath!", "Mr. Wood seemed at a loss.", "\"What is the nature of the impediment?\"", "he\nasked.", "\"Perhaps it may be got over--explained away?\"", "\"Hardly,\" was the answer.", "\"I have called it insuperable, and I speak\nadvisedly.\"", "The speaker came forward and leaned on the rails.", "He continued, uttering\neach word distinctly, calmly, steadily, but not loudly--\n\n\"It simply consists in the existence of a previous marriage.", "Mr.\nRochester has a wife now living.\"", "My nerves vibrated to those low-spoken words as they had never vibrated\nto thunder--my blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt\nfrost or fire; but I was collected, and in no danger of swooning.", "I\nlooked at Mr. Rochester: I made him look at me.", "His whole face was\ncolourless rock: his eye was both spark and flint.", "He disavowed nothing:\nhe seemed as if he would defy all things.", "Without speaking, without\nsmiling, without seeming to recognise in me a human being, he only twined\nmy waist with his arm and riveted me to his side.", "\"Who are you?\"", "he asked of the intruder.", "\"My name is Briggs, a solicitor of --- Street, London.\"", "\"And you would thrust on me a wife?\"", "\"I would remind you of your lady's existence, sir, which the law\nrecognises, if you do not.\"", "\"Favour me with an account of her--with her name, her parentage, her\nplace of abode.\"", "\"Certainly.\"", "Mr. Briggs calmly took a paper from his pocket, and read\nout in a sort of official, nasal voice:--\n\n\"'I affirm and can prove that on the 20th of October A.D. --- (a date of\nfifteen years back), Edward Fairfax Rochester, of Thornfield Hall, in the\ncounty of ---, and of Ferndean Manor, in ---shire, England, was married\nto my sister, Bertha Antoinetta Mason, daughter of Jonas Mason, merchant,\nand of Antoinetta his wife, a Creole, at --- church, Spanish Town,\nJamaica.", "The record of the marriage will be found in the register of\nthat church--a copy of it is now in my possession.", "Signed, Richard\nMason.'\"", "\"That--if a genuine document--may prove I have been married, but it does\nnot prove that the woman mentioned therein as my wife is still living.\"", "\"She was living three months ago,\" returned the lawyer.", "\"How do you know?\"", "\"I have a witness to the fact, whose testimony even you, sir, will\nscarcely controvert.\"", "\"Produce him--or go to hell.\"", "\"I will produce him first--he is on the spot.", "Mr. Mason, have the\ngoodness to step forward.\"", "Mr. Rochester, on hearing the name, set his teeth; he experienced, too, a\nsort of strong convulsive quiver; near to him as I was, I felt the\nspasmodic movement of fury or despair run through his frame.", "The second\nstranger, who had hitherto lingered in the background, now drew near; a\npale face looked over the solicitor's shoulder--yes, it was Mason\nhimself.", "Mr. Rochester turned and glared at him.", "His eye, as I have\noften said, was a black eye: it had now a tawny, nay, a bloody light in\nits gloom; and his face flushed--olive cheek and hueless forehead\nreceived a glow as from spreading, ascending heart-fire: and he stirred,\nlifted his strong arm--he could have struck Mason, dashed him on the\nchurch-floor, shocked by ruthless blow the breath from his body--but\nMason shrank away, and cried faintly, \"Good God!\"", "Contempt fell cool on\nMr. Rochester--his passion died as if a blight had shrivelled it up: he\nonly asked--\"What have _you_ to say?\"", "An inaudible reply escaped Mason's white lips.", "\"The devil is in it if you cannot answer distinctly.", "I again demand,\nwhat have you to say?\"", "\"Sir--sir,\" interrupted the clergyman, \"do not forget you are in a sacred\nplace.\"", "Then addressing Mason, he inquired gently, \"Are you aware, sir,\nwhether or not this gentleman's wife is still living?\"", "\"Courage,\" urged the lawyer,--\"speak out.\"", "\"She is now living at Thornfield Hall,\" said Mason, in more articulate\ntones: \"I saw her there last April.", "I am her brother.\"", "\"At Thornfield Hall!\"", "ejaculated the clergyman.", "\"Impossible!", "I am an\nold resident in this neighbourhood, sir, and I never heard of a Mrs.\nRochester at Thornfield Hall.\"", "I saw a grim smile contort Mr. Rochester's lips, and he muttered--\n\n\"No, by God!", "I took care that none should hear of it--or of her under\nthat name.\"", "He mused--for ten minutes he held counsel with himself: he\nformed his resolve, and announced it--\n\n\"Enough!", "all shall bolt out at once, like the bullet from the barrel.", "Wood, close your book and take off your surplice; John Green (to the\nclerk), leave the church: there will be no wedding to-day.\"", "The man\nobeyed.", "Mr. Rochester continued, hardily and recklessly: \"Bigamy is an ugly\nword!--I meant, however, to be a bigamist; but fate has out-manoeuvred\nme, or Providence has checked me,--perhaps the last.", "I am little better\nthan a devil at this moment; and, as my pastor there would tell me,\ndeserve no doubt the sternest judgments of God, even to the quenchless\nfire and deathless worm.", "Gentlemen, my plan is broken up:--what this\nlawyer and his client say is true: I have been married, and the woman to\nwhom I was married lives!", "You say you never heard of a Mrs. Rochester at\nthe house up yonder, Wood; but I daresay you have many a time inclined\nyour ear to gossip about the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch\nand ward.", "Some have whispered to you that she is my bastard half-sister:\nsome, my cast-off mistress.", "I now inform you that she is my wife, whom I\nmarried fifteen years ago,--Bertha Mason by name; sister of this resolute\npersonage, who is now, with his quivering limbs and white cheeks, showing\nyou what a stout heart men may bear.", "Cheer up, Dick!--never fear me!--I'd\nalmost as soon strike a woman as you.", "Bertha Mason is mad; and she came\nof a mad family; idiots and maniacs through three generations!", "Her\nmother, the Creole, was both a madwoman and a drunkard!--as I found out\nafter I had wed the daughter: for they were silent on family secrets\nbefore.", "Bertha, like a dutiful child, copied her parent in both points.", "I had a charming partner--pure, wise, modest: you can fancy I was a happy\nman.", "I went through rich scenes!", "Oh!", "my experience has been heavenly,\nif you only knew it!", "But I owe you no further explanation.", "Briggs,\nWood, Mason, I invite you all to come up to the house and visit Mrs.\nPoole's patient, and _my wife_!", "You shall see what sort of a being I was\ncheated into espousing, and judge whether or not I had a right to break\nthe compact, and seek sympathy with something at least human.", "This\ngirl,\" he continued, looking at me, \"knew no more than you, Wood, of the\ndisgusting secret: she thought all was fair and legal and never dreamt\nshe was going to be entrapped into a feigned union with a defrauded\nwretch, already bound to a bad, mad, and embruted partner!", "Come all of\nyou--follow!\"", "Still holding me fast, he left the church: the three gentlemen came\nafter.", "At the front door of the hall we found the carriage.", "\"Take it back to the coach-house, John,\" said Mr. Rochester coolly; \"it\nwill not be wanted to-day.\"", "At our entrance, Mrs. Fairfax, Adele, Sophie, Leah, advanced to meet and\ngreet us.", "\"To the right-about--every soul!\"", "cried the master; \"away with your\ncongratulations!", "Who wants them?", "Not I!--they are fifteen years too\nlate!\"", "He passed on and ascended the stairs, still holding my hand, and still\nbeckoning the gentlemen to follow him, which they did.", "We mounted the\nfirst staircase, passed up the gallery, proceeded to the third storey:\nthe low, black door, opened by Mr. Rochester's master-key, admitted us to\nthe tapestried room, with its great bed and its pictorial cabinet.", "\"You know this place, Mason,\" said our guide; \"she bit and stabbed you\nhere.\"", "He lifted the hangings from the wall, uncovering the second door: this,\ntoo, he opened.", "In a room without a window, there burnt a fire guarded\nby a high and strong fender, and a lamp suspended from the ceiling by a\nchain.", "Grace Poole bent over the fire, apparently cooking something in a\nsaucepan.", "In the deep shade, at the farther end of the room, a figure\nran backwards and forwards.", "What it was, whether beast or human being,\none could not, at first sight, tell: it grovelled, seemingly, on all\nfours; it snatched and growled like some strange wild animal: but it was\ncovered with clothing, and a quantity of dark, grizzled hair, wild as a\nmane, hid its head and face.", "\"Good-morrow, Mrs.", "Poole!\"", "said Mr. Rochester.", "\"How are you?", "and how is\nyour charge to-day?\"", "\"We're tolerable, sir, I thank you,\" replied Grace, lifting the boiling\nmess carefully on to the hob: \"rather snappish, but not 'rageous.\"", "A fierce cry seemed to give the lie to her favourable report: the clothed\nhyena rose up, and stood tall on its hind-feet.", "\"Ah!", "sir, she sees you!\"", "exclaimed Grace: \"you'd better not stay.\"", "\"Only a few moments, Grace: you must allow me a few moments.\"", "\"Take care then, sir!--for God's sake, take care!\"", "The maniac bellowed: she parted her shaggy locks from her visage, and\ngazed wildly at her visitors.", "I recognised well that purple face,--those\nbloated features.", "Mrs. Poole advanced.", "\"Keep out of the way,\" said Mr. Rochester, thrusting her aside: \"she has\nno knife now, I suppose, and I'm on my guard.\"", "\"One never knows what she has, sir: she is so cunning: it is not in\nmortal discretion to fathom her craft.\"", "\"We had better leave her,\" whispered Mason.", "\"Go to the devil!\"", "was his brother-in-law's recommendation.", "\"'Ware!\"", "cried Grace.", "The three gentlemen retreated simultaneously.", "Mr.\nRochester flung me behind him: the lunatic sprang and grappled his throat\nviciously, and laid her teeth to his cheek: they struggled.", "She was a\nbig woman, in stature almost equalling her husband, and corpulent\nbesides: she showed virile force in the contest--more than once she\nalmost throttled him, athletic as he was.", "He could have settled her with\na well-planted blow; but he would not strike: he would only wrestle.", "At\nlast he mastered her arms; Grace Poole gave him a cord, and he pinioned\nthem behind her: with more rope, which was at hand, he bound her to a\nchair.", "The operation was performed amidst the fiercest yells and the\nmost convulsive plunges.", "Mr. Rochester then turned to the spectators: he\nlooked at them with a smile both acrid and desolate.", "\"That is _my wife_,\" said he.", "\"Such is the sole conjugal embrace I am\never to know--such are the endearments which are to solace my leisure\nhours!", "And _this_ is what I wished to have\" (laying his hand on my\nshoulder): \"this young girl, who stands so grave and quiet at the mouth\nof hell, looking collectedly at the gambols of a demon, I wanted her just\nas a change after that fierce ragout.", "Wood and Briggs, look at the\ndifference!", "Compare these clear eyes with the red balls yonder--this\nface with that mask--this form with that bulk; then judge me, priest of\nthe gospel and man of the law, and remember with what judgment ye judge\nye shall be judged!", "Off with you now.", "I must shut up my prize.\"", "We all withdrew.", "Mr. Rochester stayed a moment behind us, to give some\nfurther order to Grace Poole.", "The solicitor addressed me as he descended\nthe stair.", "\"You, madam,\" said he, \"are cleared from all blame: your uncle will be\nglad to hear it--if, indeed, he should be still living--when Mr. Mason\nreturns to Madeira.\"", "\"My uncle!", "What of him?", "Do you know him?\"", "\"Mr. Mason does.", "Mr. Eyre has been the Funchal correspondent of his\nhouse for some years.", "When your uncle received your letter intimating\nthe contemplated union between yourself and Mr. Rochester, Mr. Mason, who\nwas staying at Madeira to recruit his health, on his way back to Jamaica,\nhappened to be with him.", "Mr. Eyre mentioned the intelligence; for he\nknew that my client here was acquainted with a gentleman of the name of\nRochester.", "Mr. Mason, astonished and distressed as you may suppose,\nrevealed the real state of matters.", "Your uncle, I am sorry to say, is\nnow on a sick bed; from which, considering the nature of his\ndisease--decline--and the stage it has reached, it is unlikely he will\never rise.", "He could not then hasten to England himself, to extricate you\nfrom the snare into which you had fallen, but he implored Mr. Mason to\nlose no time in taking steps to prevent the false marriage.", "He referred\nhim to me for assistance.", "I used all despatch, and am thankful I was not\ntoo late: as you, doubtless, must be also.", "Were I not morally certain\nthat your uncle will be dead ere you reach Madeira, I would advise you to\naccompany Mr. Mason back; but as it is, I think you had better remain in\nEngland till you can hear further, either from or of Mr. Eyre.", "Have we\nanything else to stay for?\"", "he inquired of Mr. Mason.", "\"No, no--let us be gone,\" was the anxious reply; and without waiting to\ntake leave of Mr. Rochester, they made their exit at the hall door.", "The\nclergyman stayed to exchange a few sentences, either of admonition or\nreproof, with his haughty parishioner; this duty done, he too departed.", "I heard him go as I stood at the half-open door of my own room, to which\nI had now withdrawn.", "The house cleared, I shut myself in, fastened the\nbolt that none might intrude, and proceeded--not to weep, not to mourn, I\nwas yet too calm for that, but--mechanically to take off the wedding\ndress, and replace it by the stuff gown I had worn yesterday, as I\nthought, for the last time.", "I then sat down: I felt weak and tired.", "I\nleaned my arms on a table, and my head dropped on them.", "And now I\nthought: till now I had only heard, seen, moved--followed up and down\nwhere I was led or dragged--watched event rush on event, disclosure open\nbeyond disclosure: but _now_, _I thought_.", "The morning had been a quiet morning enough--all except the brief scene\nwith the lunatic: the transaction in the church had not been noisy; there\nwas no explosion of passion, no loud altercation, no dispute, no defiance\nor challenge, no tears, no sobs: a few words had been spoken, a calmly\npronounced objection to the marriage made; some stern, short questions\nput by Mr. Rochester; answers, explanations given, evidence adduced; an\nopen admission of the truth had been uttered by my master; then the\nliving proof had been seen; the intruders were gone, and all was over.", "I was in my own room as usual--just myself, without obvious change:\nnothing had smitten me, or scathed me, or maimed me.", "And yet where was\nthe Jane Eyre of yesterday?--where was her life?--where were her\nprospects?", "Jane Eyre, who had been an ardent, expectant woman--almost a bride, was a\ncold, solitary girl again: her life was pale; her prospects were\ndesolate.", "A Christmas frost had come at midsummer; a white December\nstorm had whirled over June; ice glazed the ripe apples, drifts crushed\nthe blowing roses; on hayfield and cornfield lay a frozen shroud: lanes\nwhich last night blushed full of flowers, to-day were pathless with\nuntrodden snow; and the woods, which twelve hours since waved leafy and\nflagrant as groves between the tropics, now spread, waste, wild, and\nwhite as pine-forests in wintry Norway.", "My hopes were all dead--struck\nwith a subtle doom, such as, in one night, fell on all the first-born in\nthe land of Egypt.", "I looked on my cherished wishes, yesterday so\nblooming and glowing; they lay stark, chill, livid corpses that could\nnever revive.", "I looked at my love: that feeling which was my\nmaster's--which he had created; it shivered in my heart, like a suffering\nchild in a cold cradle; sickness and anguish had seized it; it could not\nseek Mr. Rochester's arms--it could not derive warmth from his breast.", "Oh, never more could it turn to him; for faith was blighted--confidence\ndestroyed!", "Mr. Rochester was not to me what he had been; for he was not\nwhat I had thought him.", "I would not ascribe vice to him; I would not say\nhe had betrayed me; but the attribute of stainless truth was gone from\nhis idea, and from his presence I must go: _that_ I perceived well.", "When--how--whither, I could not yet discern; but he himself, I doubted\nnot, would hurry me from Thornfield.", "Real affection, it seemed, he could\nnot have for me; it had been only fitful passion: that was balked; he\nwould want me no more.", "I should fear even to cross his path now: my view\nmust be hateful to him.", "Oh, how blind had been my eyes!", "How weak my\nconduct!", "My eyes were covered and closed: eddying darkness seemed to swim round\nme, and reflection came in as black and confused a flow.", "Self-abandoned,\nrelaxed, and effortless, I seemed to have laid me down in the dried-up\nbed of a great river; I heard a flood loosened in remote mountains, and\nfelt the torrent come: to rise I had no will, to flee I had no strength.", "I lay faint, longing to be dead.", "One idea only still throbbed life-like\nwithin me--a remembrance of God: it begot an unuttered prayer: these\nwords went wandering up and down in my rayless mind, as something that\nshould be whispered, but no energy was found to express them--\n\n\"Be not far from me, for trouble is near: there is none to help.\"", "It was near: and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it--as I\nhad neither joined my hands, nor bent my knees, nor moved my lips--it\ncame: in full heavy swing the torrent poured over me.", "The whole\nconsciousness of my life lorn, my love lost, my hope quenched, my faith\ndeath-struck, swayed full and mighty above me in one sullen mass.", "That\nbitter hour cannot be described: in truth, \"the waters came into my soul;\nI sank in deep mire: I felt no standing; I came into deep waters; the\nfloods overflowed me.\"" ]

[ "\"Stop!\"", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"The horses are harnessing.\"", "My conjecture had been correct:\nthe strangers had slipped in before us, and they now stood by the vault\nof the Rochesters, their backs towards us, viewing through the rails the\nold time-stained marble tomb, where a kneeling angel guarded the remains\nof Damer de Rochester, slain at Marston Moor in the time of the civil\nwars, and of Elizabeth, his wife.", "Some have whispered to you that she is my bastard half-sister:\nsome, my cast-off mistress.", "I had a charming partner--pure, wise, modest: you can fancy I was a happy\nman.", "cried the master; \"away with your\ncongratulations!", "\"Take care then, sir!--for God's sake, take care!\"", "The operation was performed amidst the fiercest yells and the\nmost convulsive plunges.", "And yet where was\nthe Jane Eyre of yesterday?--where was her life?--where were her\nprospects?" ]

[ "Oh, how blind had been my eyes!", "I wanted to see the\ninvisible thing on which, as we went along, he appeared to fasten a\nglance fierce and fell.", "\"Is the luggage brought down?\"", "In a room without a window, there burnt a fire guarded\nby a high and strong fender, and a lamp suspended from the ceiling by a\nchain.", "\"Mr. Wood is in the vestry, sir, putting on his surplice.\"", "--when a distinct and near voice said--\n\n\"The marriage cannot go on: I declare the existence of an impediment.\"", "\"Who are you?\"", "He referred\nhim to me for assistance.", "When is the pause after that sentence ever\nbroken by reply?", "he inquired of Mr. Mason." ]

[ "He mused--for ten minutes he held counsel with himself: he\nformed his resolve, and announced it--\n\n\"Enough!", "all shall bolt out at once, like the bullet from the barrel.", "Wood, close your book and take off your surplice; John Green (to the\nclerk), leave the church: there will be no wedding to-day.\"", "The man\nobeyed.", "Mr. Rochester continued, hardily and recklessly: \"Bigamy is an ugly\nword!--I meant, however, to be a bigamist; but fate has out-manoeuvred\nme, or Providence has checked me,--perhaps the last.", "I am little better\nthan a devil at this moment; and, as my pastor there would tell me,\ndeserve no doubt the sternest judgments of God, even to the quenchless\nfire and deathless worm.", "Gentlemen, my plan is broken up:--what this\nlawyer and his client say is true: I have been married, and the woman to\nwhom I was married lives!", "You say you never heard of a Mrs. Rochester at\nthe house up yonder, Wood; but I daresay you have many a time inclined\nyour ear to gossip about the mysterious lunatic kept there under watch\nand ward.", "Some have whispered to you that she is my bastard half-sister:\nsome, my cast-off mistress.", "I now inform you that she is my wife, whom I\nmarried fifteen years ago,--Bertha Mason by name; sister of this resolute\npersonage, who is now, with his quivering limbs and white cheeks, showing\nyou what a stout heart men may bear.", "Cheer up, Dick!--never fear me!--I'd\nalmost as soon strike a woman as you." ]

[ "\n\nSophie came at seven to dress me: she was very long indeed in\naccomplishing her task; so long that Mr. Rochester, grown, I suppose,\nimpatient of my delay, sent up to ask why I did not come.", "She was just\nfastening my veil (the plain square of blond after all) to my hair with a\nbrooch; I hurried from under her hands as soon as I could.", "\"Stop!\"", "she cried in French.", "\"Look at yourself in the mirror: you have\nnot taken one peep.\"", "So I turned at the door: I saw a robed and veiled figure, so unlike my\nusual self that it seemed almost the image of a stranger.", "\"Jane!\"", "called\na voice, and I hastened down.", "I was received at the foot of the stairs\nby Mr. Rochester.", "\"Lingerer!\"", "I should fear even to cross his path now: my view\nmust be hateful to him.", "Oh, how blind had been my eyes!", "How weak my\nconduct!", "My eyes were covered and closed: eddying darkness seemed to swim round\nme, and reflection came in as black and confused a flow.", "Self-abandoned,\nrelaxed, and effortless, I seemed to have laid me down in the dried-up\nbed of a great river; I heard a flood loosened in remote mountains, and\nfelt the torrent come: to rise I had no will, to flee I had no strength.", "I lay faint, longing to be dead.", "One idea only still throbbed life-like\nwithin me--a remembrance of God: it begot an unuttered prayer: these\nwords went wandering up and down in my rayless mind, as something that\nshould be whispered, but no energy was found to express them--\n\n\"Be not far from me, for trouble is near: there is none to help.\"", "It was near: and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it--as I\nhad neither joined my hands, nor bent my knees, nor moved my lips--it\ncame: in full heavy swing the torrent poured over me.", "The whole\nconsciousness of my life lorn, my love lost, my hope quenched, my faith\ndeath-struck, swayed full and mighty above me in one sullen mass.", "That\nbitter hour cannot be described: in truth, \"the waters came into my soul;\nI sank in deep mire: I felt no standing; I came into deep waters; the\nfloods overflowed me.\"" ]

[ "\n\nSome time in the afternoon I raised my head, and looking round and seeing\nthe western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall, I asked,\n\"What am I to do?\"", "But the answer my mind gave--\"Leave Thornfield at once\"--was so prompt,\nso dread, that I stopped my ears.", "I said I could not bear such words\nnow.", "\"That I am not Edward Rochester's bride is the least part of my\nwoe,\" I alleged: \"that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams, and\nfound them all void and vain, is a horror I could bear and master; but\nthat I must leave him decidedly, instantly, entirely, is intolerable.", "I\ncannot do it.\"", "But, then, a voice within me averred that I could do it and foretold that\nI should do it.", "I wrestled with my own resolution: I wanted to be weak\nthat I might avoid the awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out\nfor me; and Conscience, turned tyrant, held Passion by the throat, told\nher tauntingly, she had yet but dipped her dainty foot in the slough, and\nswore that with that arm of iron he would thrust her down to unsounded\ndepths of agony.", "\"Let me be torn away,\" then I cried.", "\"Let another help me!\"", "\"No; you shall tear yourself away, none shall help you: you shall\nyourself pluck out your right eye; yourself cut off your right hand: your\nheart shall be the victim, and you the priest to transfix it.\"", "I rose up suddenly, terror-struck at the solitude which so ruthless a\njudge haunted,--at the silence which so awful a voice filled.", "My head\nswam as I stood erect.", "I perceived that I was sickening from excitement\nand inanition; neither meat nor drink had passed my lips that day, for I\nhad taken no breakfast.", "And, with a strange pang, I now reflected that,\nlong as I had been shut up here, no message had been sent to ask how I\nwas, or to invite me to come down: not even little Adele had tapped at\nthe door; not even Mrs. Fairfax had sought me.", "\"Friends always forget\nthose whom fortune forsakes,\" I murmured, as I undrew the bolt and passed\nout.", "I stumbled over an obstacle: my head was still dizzy, my sight was\ndim, and my limbs were feeble.", "I could not soon recover myself.", "I fell,\nbut not on to the ground: an outstretched arm caught me.", "I looked up--I\nwas supported by Mr. Rochester, who sat in a chair across my chamber\nthreshold.", "\"You come out at last,\" he said.", "\"Well, I have been waiting for you\nlong, and listening: yet not one movement have I heard, nor one sob: five\nminutes more of that death-like hush, and I should have forced the lock\nlike a burglar.", "So you shun me?--you shut yourself up and grieve alone!", "I would rather you had come and upbraided me with vehemence.", "You are\npassionate.", "I expected a scene of some kind.", "I was prepared for the hot\nrain of tears; only I wanted them to be shed on my breast: now a\nsenseless floor has received them, or your drenched handkerchief.", "But I\nerr: you have not wept at all!", "I see a white cheek and a faded eye, but\nno trace of tears.", "I suppose, then, your heart has been weeping blood?\"", "\"Well, Jane!", "not a word of reproach?", "Nothing bitter--nothing poignant?", "Nothing to cut a feeling or sting a passion?", "You sit quietly where I\nhave placed you, and regard me with a weary, passive look.\"", "\"Jane, I never meant to wound you thus.", "If the man who had but one\nlittle ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter, that ate of his bread\nand drank of his cup, and lay in his bosom, had by some mistake\nslaughtered it at the shambles, he would not have rued his bloody blunder\nmore than I now rue mine.", "Will you ever forgive me?\"", "Reader, I forgave him at the moment and on the spot.", "There was such deep\nremorse in his eye, such true pity in his tone, such manly energy in his\nmanner; and besides, there was such unchanged love in his whole look and\nmien--I forgave him all: yet not in words, not outwardly; only at my\nheart's core.", "\"You know I am a scoundrel, Jane?\"", "ere long he inquired\nwistfully--wondering, I suppose, at my continued silence and tameness,\nthe result rather of weakness than of will.", "\"Yes, sir.\"", "\"Then tell me so roundly and sharply--don't spare me.\"", "\"I cannot: I am tired and sick.", "I want some water.\"", "He heaved a sort of\nshuddering sigh, and taking me in his arms, carried me downstairs.", "At\nfirst I did not know to what room he had borne me; all was cloudy to my\nglazed sight: presently I felt the reviving warmth of a fire; for, summer\nas it was, I had become icy cold in my chamber.", "He put wine to my lips;\nI tasted it and revived; then I ate something he offered me, and was soon\nmyself.", "I was in the library--sitting in his chair--he was quite near.", "\"If I could go out of life now, without too sharp a pang, it would be\nwell for me,\" I thought; \"then I should not have to make the effort of\ncracking my heart-strings in rending them from among Mr. Rochester's.", "I\nmust leave him, it appears.", "I do not want to leave him--I cannot leave\nhim.\"", "\"How are you now, Jane?\"", "\"Much better, sir; I shall be well soon.\"", "\"Taste the wine again, Jane.\"", "I obeyed him; then he put the glass on the table, stood before me, and\nlooked at me attentively.", "Suddenly he turned away, with an inarticulate\nexclamation, full of passionate emotion of some kind; he walked fast\nthrough the room and came back; he stooped towards me as if to kiss me;\nbut I remembered caresses were now forbidden.", "I turned my face away and\nput his aside.", "\"What!--How is this?\"", "he exclaimed hastily.", "\"Oh, I know!", "you won't kiss\nthe husband of Bertha Mason?", "You consider my arms filled and my embraces\nappropriated?\"", "\"At any rate, there is neither room nor claim for me, sir.\"", "\"Why, Jane?", "I will spare you the trouble of much talking; I will answer\nfor you--Because I have a wife already, you would reply.--I guess\nrightly?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"If you think so, you must have a strange opinion of me; you must regard\nme as a plotting profligate--a base and low rake who has been simulating\ndisinterested love in order to draw you into a snare deliberately laid,\nand strip you of honour and rob you of self-respect.", "What do you say to\nthat?", "I see you can say nothing in the first place, you are faint still,\nand have enough to do to draw your breath; in the second place, you\ncannot yet accustom yourself to accuse and revile me, and besides, the\nflood-gates of tears are opened, and they would rush out if you spoke\nmuch; and you have no desire to expostulate, to upbraid, to make a scene:\nyou are thinking how _to act_--_talking_ you consider is of no use.", "I\nknow you--I am on my guard.\"", "\"Sir, I do not wish to act against you,\" I said; and my unsteady voice\nwarned me to curtail my sentence.", "\"Not in your sense of the word, but in mine you are scheming to destroy\nme.", "You have as good as said that I am a married man--as a married man\nyou will shun me, keep out of my way: just now you have refused to kiss\nme.", "You intend to make yourself a complete stranger to me: to live under\nthis roof only as Adele's governess; if ever I say a friendly word to\nyou, if ever a friendly feeling inclines you again to me, you will\nsay,--'That man had nearly made me his mistress: I must be ice and rock\nto him;' and ice and rock you will accordingly become.\"", "I cleared and steadied my voice to reply: \"All is changed about me, sir;\nI must change too--there is no doubt of that; and to avoid fluctuations\nof feeling, and continual combats with recollections and associations,\nthere is only one way--Adele must have a new governess, sir.\"", "\"Oh, Adele will go to school--I have settled that already; nor do I mean\nto torment you with the hideous associations and recollections of\nThornfield Hall--this accursed place--this tent of Achan--this insolent\nvault, offering the ghastliness of living death to the light of the open\nsky--this narrow stone hell, with its one real fiend, worse than a legion\nof such as we imagine.", "Jane, you shall not stay here, nor will I. I was\nwrong ever to bring you to Thornfield Hall, knowing as I did how it was\nhaunted.", "I charged them to conceal from you, before I ever saw you, all\nknowledge of the curse of the place; merely because I feared Adele never\nwould have a governess to stay if she knew with what inmate she was\nhoused, and my plans would not permit me to remove the maniac\nelsewhere--though I possess an old house, Ferndean Manor, even more\nretired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safely\nenough, had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation, in\nthe heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement.", "Probably those damp walls would soon have eased me of her charge: but to\neach villain his own vice; and mine is not a tendency to indirect\nassassination, even of what I most hate.", "\"Concealing the mad-woman's neighbourhood from you, however, was\nsomething like covering a child with a cloak and laying it down near a\nupas-tree: that demon's vicinage is poisoned, and always was.", "But I'll\nshut up Thornfield Hall: I'll nail up the front door and board the lower\nwindows: I'll give Mrs. Poole two hundred a year to live here with _my\nwife_, as you term that fearful hag: Grace will do much for money, and\nshe shall have her son, the keeper at Grimsby Retreat, to bear her\ncompany and be at hand to give her aid in the paroxysms, when _my wife_\nis prompted by her familiar to burn people in their beds at night, to\nstab them, to bite their flesh from their bones, and so on--\"\n\n\"Sir,\" I interrupted him, \"you are inexorable for that unfortunate lady:\nyou speak of her with hate--with vindictive antipathy.", "It is cruel--she\ncannot help being mad.\"", "\"Jane, my little darling (so I will call you, for so you are), you don't\nknow what you are talking about; you misjudge me again: it is not because\nshe is mad I hate her.", "If you were mad, do you think I should hate you?\"", "\"I do indeed, sir.\"", "\"Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about\nthe sort of love of which I am capable.", "Every atom of your flesh is as\ndear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear.", "Your\nmind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be my treasure\nstill: if you raved, my arms should confine you, and not a strait\nwaistcoat--your grasp, even in fury, would have a charm for me: if you\nflew at me as wildly as that woman did this morning, I should receive you\nin an embrace, at least as fond as it would be restrictive.", "I should not\nshrink from you with disgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments you\nshould have no watcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you\nwith untiring tenderness, though you gave me no smile in return; and\nnever weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray of\nrecognition for me.--But why do I follow that train of ideas?", "I was\ntalking of removing you from Thornfield.", "All, you know, is prepared for\nprompt departure: to-morrow you shall go.", "I only ask you to endure one\nmore night under this roof, Jane; and then, farewell to its miseries and\nterrors for ever!", "I have a place to repair to, which will be a secure\nsanctuary from hateful reminiscences, from unwelcome intrusion--even from\nfalsehood and slander.\"", "\"And take Adele with you, sir,\" I interrupted; \"she will be a companion\nfor you.\"", "\"What do you mean, Jane?", "I told you I would send Adele to school; and\nwhat do I want with a child for a companion, and not my own child,--a\nFrench dancer's bastard?", "Why do you importune me about her!", "I say, why\ndo you assign Adele to me for a companion?\"", "\"You spoke of a retirement, sir; and retirement and solitude are dull:\ntoo dull for you.\"", "\"Solitude!", "solitude!\"", "he reiterated with irritation.", "\"I see I must come\nto an explanation.", "I don't know what sphynx-like expression is forming\nin your countenance.", "You are to share my solitude.", "Do you understand?\"", "I shook my head: it required a degree of courage, excited as he was\nbecoming, even to risk that mute sign of dissent.", "He had been walking\nfast about the room, and he stopped, as if suddenly rooted to one spot.", "He looked at me long and hard: I turned my eyes from him, fixed them on\nthe fire, and tried to assume and maintain a quiet, collected aspect.", "\"Now for the hitch in Jane's character,\" he said at last, speaking more\ncalmly than from his look I had expected him to speak.", "\"The reel of silk\nhas run smoothly enough so far; but I always knew there would come a knot\nand a puzzle: here it is.", "Now for vexation, and exasperation, and\nendless trouble!", "By God!", "I long to exert a fraction of Samson's\nstrength, and break the entanglement like tow!\"", "He recommenced his walk, but soon again stopped, and this time just\nbefore me.", "\"Jane!", "will you hear reason?\"", "(he stooped and approached his lips to my\near); \"because, if you won't, I'll try violence.\"", "His voice was hoarse;\nhis look that of a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond\nand plunge headlong into wild license.", "I saw that in another moment, and\nwith one impetus of frenzy more, I should be able to do nothing with him.", "The present--the passing second of time--was all I had in which to\ncontrol and restrain him--a movement of repulsion, flight, fear would\nhave sealed my doom,--and his.", "But I was not afraid: not in the least.", "I\nfelt an inward power; a sense of influence, which supported me.", "The\ncrisis was perilous; but not without its charm: such as the Indian,\nperhaps, feels when he slips over the rapid in his canoe.", "I took hold of\nhis clenched hand, loosened the contorted fingers, and said to him,\nsoothingly--\n\n\"Sit down; I'll talk to you as long as you like, and hear all you have to\nsay, whether reasonable or unreasonable.\"", "He sat down: but he did not get leave to speak directly.", "I had been\nstruggling with tears for some time: I had taken great pains to repress\nthem, because I knew he would not like to see me weep.", "Now, however, I\nconsidered it well to let them flow as freely and as long as they liked.", "If the flood annoyed him, so much the better.", "So I gave way and cried\nheartily.", "Soon I heard him earnestly entreating me to be composed.", "I said I could\nnot while he was in such a passion.", "\"But I am not angry, Jane: I only love you too well; and you had steeled\nyour little pale face with such a resolute, frozen look, I could not\nendure it.", "Hush, now, and wipe your eyes.\"", "His softened voice announced that he was subdued; so I, in my turn,\nbecame calm.", "Now he made an effort to rest his head on my shoulder, but\nI would not permit it.", "Then he would draw me to him: no.", "\"Jane!", "Jane!\"", "he said, in such an accent of bitter sadness it thrilled\nalong every nerve I had; \"you don't love me, then?", "It was only my\nstation, and the rank of my wife, that you valued?", "Now that you think me\ndisqualified to become your husband, you recoil from my touch as if I\nwere some toad or ape.\"", "These words cut me: yet what could I do or I say?", "I ought probably to\nhave done or said nothing; but I was so tortured by a sense of remorse at\nthus hurting his feelings, I could not control the wish to drop balm\nwhere I had wounded.", "\"I _do_ love you,\" I said, \"more than ever: but I must not show or\nindulge the feeling: and this is the last time I must express it.\"", "\"The last time, Jane!", "What!", "do you think you can live with me, and see\nme daily, and yet, if you still love me, be always cold and distant?\"", "\"No, sir; that I am certain I could not; and therefore I see there is but\none way: but you will be furious if I mention it.\"", "\"Oh, mention it!", "If I storm, you have the art of weeping.\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I must leave you.\"", "\"For how long, Jane?", "For a few minutes, while you smooth your hair--which\nis somewhat dishevelled; and bathe your face--which looks feverish?\"", "\"I must leave Adele and Thornfield.", "I must part with you for my whole\nlife: I must begin a new existence among strange faces and strange\nscenes.\"", "\"Of course: I told you you should.", "I pass over the madness about parting\nfrom me.", "You mean you must become a part of me.", "As to the new\nexistence, it is all right: you shall yet be my wife: I am not married.", "You shall be Mrs. Rochester--both virtually and nominally.", "I shall keep\nonly to you so long as you and I live.", "You shall go to a place I have in\nthe south of France: a whitewashed villa on the shores of the\nMediterranean.", "There you shall live a happy, and guarded, and most\ninnocent life.", "Never fear that I wish to lure you into error--to make\nyou my mistress.", "Why did you shake your head?", "Jane, you must be\nreasonable, or in truth I shall again become frantic.\"", "His voice and hand quivered: his large nostrils dilated; his eye blazed:\nstill I dared to speak.", "\"Sir, your wife is living: that is a fact acknowledged this morning by\nyourself.", "If I lived with you as you desire, I should then be your\nmistress: to say otherwise is sophistical--is false.\"", "\"Jane, I am not a gentle-tempered man--you forget that: I am not long-\nenduring; I am not cool and dispassionate.", "Out of pity to me and\nyourself, put your finger on my pulse, feel how it throbs, and--beware!\"", "He bared his wrist, and offered it to me: the blood was forsaking his\ncheek and lips, they were growing livid; I was distressed on all hands.", "To agitate him thus deeply, by a resistance he so abhorred, was cruel: to\nyield was out of the question.", "I did what human beings do instinctively\nwhen they are driven to utter extremity--looked for aid to one higher\nthan man: the words \"God help me!\"", "burst involuntarily from my lips.", "\"I am a fool!\"", "cried Mr. Rochester suddenly.", "\"I keep telling her I am\nnot married, and do not explain to her why.", "I forget she knows nothing\nof the character of that woman, or of the circumstances attending my\ninfernal union with her.", "Oh, I am certain Jane will agree with me in\nopinion, when she knows all that I know!", "Just put your hand in mine,\nJanet--that I may have the evidence of touch as well as sight, to prove\nyou are near me--and I will in a few words show you the real state of the\ncase.", "Can you listen to me?\"", "\"Yes, sir; for hours if you will.\"", "\"I ask only minutes.", "Jane, did you ever hear or know that I was not the\neldest son of my house: that I had once a brother older than I?\"", "\"I remember Mrs. Fairfax told me so once.\"", "\"And did you ever hear that my father was an avaricious, grasping man?\"", "\"I have understood something to that effect.\"", "\"Well, Jane, being so, it was his resolution to keep the property\ntogether; he could not bear the idea of dividing his estate and leaving\nme a fair portion: all, he resolved, should go to my brother, Rowland.", "Yet as little could he endure that a son of his should be a poor man.", "I\nmust be provided for by a wealthy marriage.", "He sought me a partner\nbetimes.", "Mr. Mason, a West India planter and merchant, was his old\nacquaintance.", "He was certain his possessions were real and vast: he made\ninquiries.", "Mr. Mason, he found, had a son and daughter; and he learned\nfrom him that he could and would give the latter a fortune of thirty\nthousand pounds: that sufficed.", "When I left college, I was sent out to\nJamaica, to espouse a bride already courted for me.", "My father said\nnothing about her money; but he told me Miss Mason was the boast of\nSpanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie.", "I found her a fine\nwoman, in the style of Blanche Ingram: tall, dark, and majestic.", "Her\nfamily wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she.", "They showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed.", "I seldom saw her\nalone, and had very little private conversation with her.", "She flattered\nme, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and\naccomplishments.", "All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy\nme.", "I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being\nignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her.", "There is no\nfolly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience,\nthe rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its\ncommission.", "Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me; she\nallured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was.", "Oh,\nI have no respect for myself when I think of that act!--an agony of\ninward contempt masters me.", "I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not\neven know her.", "I was not sure of the existence of one virtue in her\nnature: I had marked neither modesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor\nrefinement in her mind or manners--and, I married her:--gross,\ngrovelling, mole-eyed blockhead that I was!", "With less sin I might\nhave--But let me remember to whom I am speaking.\"", "\"My bride's mother I had never seen: I understood she was dead.", "The\nhoneymoon over, I learned my mistake; she was only mad, and shut up in a\nlunatic asylum.", "There was a younger brother, too--a complete dumb idiot.", "The elder one, whom you have seen (and whom I cannot hate, whilst I abhor\nall his kindred, because he has some grains of affection in his feeble\nmind, shown in the continued interest he takes in his wretched sister,\nand also in a dog-like attachment he once bore me), will probably be in\nthe same state one day.", "My father and my brother Rowland knew all this;\nbut they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds, and joined in the\nplot against me.\"", "\"These were vile discoveries; but except for the treachery of\nconcealment, I should have made them no subject of reproach to my wife,\neven when I found her nature wholly alien to mine, her tastes obnoxious\nto me, her cast of mind common, low, narrow, and singularly incapable of\nbeing led to anything higher, expanded to anything larger--when I found\nthat I could not pass a single evening, nor even a single hour of the day\nwith her in comfort; that kindly conversation could not be sustained\nbetween us, because whatever topic I started, immediately received from\nher a turn at once coarse and trite, perverse and imbecile--when I\nperceived that I should never have a quiet or settled household, because\nno servant would bear the continued outbreaks of her violent and\nunreasonable temper, or the vexations of her absurd, contradictory,\nexacting orders--even then I restrained myself: I eschewed upbraiding, I\ncurtailed remonstrance; I tried to devour my repentance and disgust in\nsecret; I repressed the deep antipathy I felt.", "\"Jane, I will not trouble you with abominable details: some strong words\nshall express what I have to say.", "I lived with that woman upstairs four\nyears, and before that time she had tried me indeed: her character\nripened and developed with frightful rapidity; her vices sprang up fast\nand rank: they were so strong, only cruelty could check them, and I would\nnot use cruelty.", "What a pigmy intellect she had, and what giant\npropensities!", "How fearful were the curses those propensities entailed on\nme!", "Bertha Mason, the true daughter of an infamous mother, dragged me\nthrough all the hideous and degrading agonies which must attend a man\nbound to a wife at once intemperate and unchaste.", "\"My brother in the interval was dead, and at the end of the four years my\nfather died too.", "I was rich enough now--yet poor to hideous indigence: a\nnature the most gross, impure, depraved I ever saw, was associated with\nmine, and called by the law and by society a part of me.", "And I could not\nrid myself of it by any legal proceedings: for the doctors now discovered\nthat _my wife_ was mad--her excesses had prematurely developed the germs\nof insanity.", "Jane, you don't like my narrative; you look almost\nsick--shall I defer the rest to another day?\"", "\"No, sir, finish it now; I pity you--I do earnestly pity you.\"", "\"Pity, Jane, from some people is a noxious and insulting sort of tribute,\nwhich one is justified in hurling back in the teeth of those who offer\nit; but that is the sort of pity native to callous, selfish hearts; it is\na hybrid, egotistical pain at hearing of woes, crossed with ignorant\ncontempt for those who have endured them.", "But that is not your pity,\nJane; it is not the feeling of which your whole face is full at this\nmoment--with which your eyes are now almost overflowing--with which your\nheart is heaving--with which your hand is trembling in mine.", "Your pity,\nmy darling, is the suffering mother of love: its anguish is the very\nnatal pang of the divine passion.", "I accept it, Jane; let the daughter\nhave free advent--my arms wait to receive her.\"", "\"Now, sir, proceed; what did you do when you found she was mad?\"", "\"Jane, I approached the verge of despair; a remnant of self-respect was\nall that intervened between me and the gulf.", "In the eyes of the world, I\nwas doubtless covered with grimy dishonour; but I resolved to be clean in\nmy own sight--and to the last I repudiated the contamination of her\ncrimes, and wrenched myself from connection with her mental defects.", "Still, society associated my name and person with hers; I yet saw her and\nheard her daily: something of her breath (faugh!)", "mixed with the air I\nbreathed; and besides, I remembered I had once been her husband--that\nrecollection was then, and is now, inexpressibly odious to me; moreover,\nI knew that while she lived I could never be the husband of another and\nbetter wife; and, though five years my senior (her family and her father\nhad lied to me even in the particular of her age), she was likely to live\nas long as I, being as robust in frame as she was infirm in mind.", "Thus,\nat the age of twenty-six, I was hopeless.", "\"One night I had been awakened by her yells--(since the medical men had\npronounced her mad, she had, of course, been shut up)--it was a fiery\nWest Indian night; one of the description that frequently precede the\nhurricanes of those climates.", "Being unable to sleep in bed, I got up and\nopened the window.", "The air was like sulphur-steams--I could find no\nrefreshment anywhere.", "Mosquitoes came buzzing in and hummed sullenly\nround the room; the sea, which I could hear from thence, rumbled dull\nlike an earthquake--black clouds were casting up over it; the moon was\nsetting in the waves, broad and red, like a hot cannon-ball--she threw\nher last bloody glance over a world quivering with the ferment of\ntempest.", "I was physically influenced by the atmosphere and scene, and my\nears were filled with the curses the maniac still shrieked out; wherein\nshe momentarily mingled my name with such a tone of demon-hate, with such\nlanguage!--no professed harlot ever had a fouler vocabulary than she:\nthough two rooms off, I heard every word--the thin partitions of the West\nIndia house opposing but slight obstruction to her wolfish cries.", "\"'This life,' said I at last, 'is hell: this is the air--those are the\nsounds of the bottomless pit!", "I have a right to deliver myself from it\nif I can.", "The sufferings of this mortal state will leave me with the\nheavy flesh that now cumbers my soul.", "Of the fanatic's burning eternity\nI have no fear: there is not a future state worse than this present\none--let me break away, and go home to God!'", "\"I said this whilst I knelt down at, and unlocked a trunk which contained\na brace of loaded pistols: I mean to shoot myself.", "I only entertained\nthe intention for a moment; for, not being insane, the crisis of\nexquisite and unalloyed despair, which had originated the wish and design\nof self-destruction, was past in a second.", "\"A wind fresh from Europe blew over the ocean and rushed through the open\ncasement: the storm broke, streamed, thundered, blazed, and the air grew\npure.", "I then framed and fixed a resolution.", "While I walked under the\ndripping orange-trees of my wet garden, and amongst its drenched\npomegranates and pine-apples, and while the refulgent dawn of the tropics\nkindled round me--I reasoned thus, Jane--and now listen; for it was true\nWisdom that consoled me in that hour, and showed me the right path to\nfollow.", "\"The sweet wind from Europe was still whispering in the refreshed leaves,\nand the Atlantic was thundering in glorious liberty; my heart, dried up\nand scorched for a long time, swelled to the tone, and filled with living\nblood--my being longed for renewal--my soul thirsted for a pure draught.", "I saw hope revive--and felt regeneration possible.", "From a flowery arch\nat the bottom of my garden I gazed over the sea--bluer than the sky: the\nold world was beyond; clear prospects opened thus:--\n\n\"'Go,' said Hope, 'and live again in Europe: there it is not known what a\nsullied name you bear, nor what a filthy burden is bound to you.", "You may\ntake the maniac with you to England; confine her with due attendance and\nprecautions at Thornfield: then travel yourself to what clime you will,\nand form what new tie you like.", "That woman, who has so abused your long-\nsuffering, so sullied your name, so outraged your honour, so blighted\nyour youth, is not your wife, nor are you her husband.", "See that she is\ncared for as her condition demands, and you have done all that God and\nhumanity require of you.", "Let her identity, her connection with yourself,\nbe buried in oblivion: you are bound to impart them to no living being.", "Place her in safety and comfort: shelter her degradation with secrecy,\nand leave her.'", "\"I acted precisely on this suggestion.", "My father and brother had not\nmade my marriage known to their acquaintance; because, in the very first\nletter I wrote to apprise them of the union--having already begun to\nexperience extreme disgust of its consequences, and, from the family\ncharacter and constitution, seeing a hideous future opening to me--I\nadded an urgent charge to keep it secret: and very soon the infamous\nconduct of the wife my father had selected for me was such as to make him\nblush to own her as his daughter-in-law.", "Far from desiring to publish\nthe connection, he became as anxious to conceal it as myself.", "\"To England, then, I conveyed her; a fearful voyage I had with such a\nmonster in the vessel.", "Glad was I when I at last got her to Thornfield,\nand saw her safely lodged in that third-storey room, of whose secret\ninner cabinet she has now for ten years made a wild beast's den--a\ngoblin's cell.", "I had some trouble in finding an attendant for her, as it\nwas necessary to select one on whose fidelity dependence could be placed;\nfor her ravings would inevitably betray my secret: besides, she had lucid\nintervals of days--sometimes weeks--which she filled up with abuse of me.", "At last I hired Grace Poole from the Grimbsy Retreat.", "She and the\nsurgeon, Carter (who dressed Mason's wounds that night he was stabbed and\nworried), are the only two I have ever admitted to my confidence.", "Mrs.\nFairfax may indeed have suspected something, but she could have gained no\nprecise knowledge as to facts.", "Grace has, on the whole, proved a good\nkeeper; though, owing partly to a fault of her own, of which it appears\nnothing can cure her, and which is incident to her harassing profession,\nher vigilance has been more than once lulled and baffled.", "The lunatic is\nboth cunning and malignant; she has never failed to take advantage of her\nguardian's temporary lapses; once to secrete the knife with which she\nstabbed her brother, and twice to possess herself of the key of her cell,\nand issue therefrom in the night-time.", "On the first of these occasions,\nshe perpetrated the attempt to burn me in my bed; on the second, she paid\nthat ghastly visit to you.", "I thank Providence, who watched over you,\nthat she then spent her fury on your wedding apparel, which perhaps\nbrought back vague reminiscences of her own bridal days: but on what\nmight have happened, I cannot endure to reflect.", "When I think of the\nthing which flew at my throat this morning, hanging its black and scarlet\nvisage over the nest of my dove, my blood curdles--\"\n\n\"And what, sir,\" I asked, while he paused, \"did you do when you had\nsettled her here?", "Where did you go?\"", "\"What did I do, Jane?", "I transformed myself into a will-o'-the-wisp.", "Where did I go?", "I pursued wanderings as wild as those of the\nMarch-spirit.", "I sought the Continent, and went devious through all its\nlands.", "My fixed desire was to seek and find a good and intelligent\nwoman, whom I could love: a contrast to the fury I left at Thornfield--\"\n\n\"But you could not marry, sir.\"", "\"I had determined and was convinced that I could and ought.", "It was not\nmy original intention to deceive, as I have deceived you.", "I meant to\ntell my tale plainly, and make my proposals openly: and it appeared to me\nso absolutely rational that I should be considered free to love and be\nloved, I never doubted some woman might be found willing and able to\nunderstand my case and accept me, in spite of the curse with which I was\nburdened.\"", "\"Well, sir?\"", "\"When you are inquisitive, Jane, you always make me smile.", "You open your\neyes like an eager bird, and make every now and then a restless movement,\nas if answers in speech did not flow fast enough for you, and you wanted\nto read the tablet of one's heart.", "But before I go on, tell me what you\nmean by your 'Well, sir?'", "It is a small phrase very frequent with you;\nand which many a time has drawn me on and on through interminable talk: I\ndon't very well know why.\"", "\"I mean,--What next?", "How did you proceed?", "What came of such an event?\"", "\"Precisely!", "and what do you wish to know now?\"", "\"Whether you found any one you liked: whether you asked her to marry you;\nand what she said.\"", "\"I can tell you whether I found any one I liked, and whether I asked her\nto marry me: but what she said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate.", "For ten long years I roved about, living first in one capital, then\nanother: sometimes in St. Petersburg; oftener in Paris; occasionally in\nRome, Naples, and Florence.", "Provided with plenty of money and the\npassport of an old name, I could choose my own society: no circles were\nclosed against me.", "I sought my ideal of a woman amongst English ladies,\nFrench countesses, Italian signoras, and German grafinnen.", "I could not\nfind her.", "Sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I thought I caught a glance,\nheard a tone, beheld a form, which announced the realisation of my dream:\nbut I was presently undeserved.", "You are not to suppose that I desired\nperfection, either of mind or person.", "I longed only for what suited\nme--for the antipodes of the Creole: and I longed vainly.", "Amongst them\nall I found not one whom, had I been ever so free, I--warned as I was of\nthe risks, the horrors, the loathings of incongruous unions--would have\nasked to marry me.", "Disappointment made me reckless.", "I tried\ndissipation--never debauchery: that I hated, and hate.", "That was my\nIndian Messalina's attribute: rooted disgust at it and her restrained me\nmuch, even in pleasure.", "Any enjoyment that bordered on riot seemed to\napproach me to her and her vices, and I eschewed it.", "\"Yet I could not live alone; so I tried the companionship of mistresses.", "The first I chose was Celine Varens--another of those steps which make a\nman spurn himself when he recalls them.", "You already know what she was,\nand how my liaison with her terminated.", "She had two successors: an\nItalian, Giacinta, and a German, Clara; both considered singularly\nhandsome.", "What was their beauty to me in a few weeks?", "Giacinta was\nunprincipled and violent: I tired of her in three months.", "Clara was\nhonest and quiet; but heavy, mindless, and unimpressible: not one whit to\nmy taste.", "I was glad to give her a sufficient sum to set her up in a\ngood line of business, and so get decently rid of her.", "But, Jane, I see\nby your face you are not forming a very favourable opinion of me just\nnow.", "You think me an unfeeling, loose-principled rake: don't you?\"", "\"I don't like you so well as I have done sometimes, indeed, sir.", "Did it\nnot seem to you in the least wrong to live in that way, first with one\nmistress and then another?", "You talk of it as a mere matter of course.\"", "\"It was with me; and I did not like it.", "It was a grovelling fashion of\nexistence: I should never like to return to it.", "Hiring a mistress is the\nnext worse thing to buying a slave: both are often by nature, and always\nby position, inferior: and to live familiarly with inferiors is\ndegrading.", "I now hate the recollection of the time I passed with Celine,\nGiacinta, and Clara.\"", "I felt the truth of these words; and I drew from them the certain\ninference, that if I were so far to forget myself and all the teaching\nthat had ever been instilled into me, as--under any pretext--with any\njustification--through any temptation--to become the successor of these\npoor girls, he would one day regard me with the same feeling which now in\nhis mind desecrated their memory.", "I did not give utterance to this\nconviction: it was enough to feel it.", "I impressed it on my heart, that\nit might remain there to serve me as aid in the time of trial.", "\"Now, Jane, why don't you say 'Well, sir?'", "I have not done.", "You are\nlooking grave.", "You disapprove of me still, I see.", "But let me come to\nthe point.", "Last January, rid of all mistresses--in a harsh, bitter frame\nof mind, the result of a useless, roving, lonely life--corroded with\ndisappointment, sourly disposed against all men, and especially against\nall womankind (for I began to regard the notion of an intellectual,\nfaithful, loving woman as a mere dream), recalled by business, I came\nback to England.", "\"On a frosty winter afternoon, I rode in sight of Thornfield Hall.", "Abhorred spot!", "I expected no peace--no pleasure there.", "On a stile in\nHay Lane I saw a quiet little figure sitting by itself.", "I passed it as\nnegligently as I did the pollard willow opposite to it: I had no\npresentiment of what it would be to me; no inward warning that the\narbitress of my life--my genius for good or evil--waited there in humble\nguise.", "I did not know it, even when, on the occasion of Mesrour's\naccident, it came up and gravely offered me help.", "Childish and slender\ncreature!", "It seemed as if a linnet had hopped to my foot and proposed to\nbear me on its tiny wing.", "I was surly; but the thing would not go: it\nstood by me with strange perseverance, and looked and spoke with a sort\nof authority.", "I must be aided, and by that hand: and aided I was.", "\"When once I had pressed the frail shoulder, something new--a fresh sap\nand sense--stole into my frame.", "It was well I had learnt that this elf\nmust return to me--that it belonged to my house down below--or I could\nnot have felt it pass away from under my hand, and seen it vanish behind\nthe dim hedge, without singular regret.", "I heard you come home that\nnight, Jane, though probably you were not aware that I thought of you or\nwatched for you.", "The next day I observed you--myself unseen--for half-an-\nhour, while you played with Adele in the gallery.", "It was a snowy day, I\nrecollect, and you could not go out of doors.", "I was in my room; the door\nwas ajar: I could both listen and watch.", "Adele claimed your outward\nattention for a while; yet I fancied your thoughts were elsewhere: but\nyou were very patient with her, my little Jane; you talked to her and\namused her a long time.", "When at last she left you, you lapsed at once\ninto deep reverie: you betook yourself slowly to pace the gallery.", "Now\nand then, in passing a casement, you glanced out at the thick-falling\nsnow; you listened to the sobbing wind, and again you paced gently on and\ndreamed.", "I think those day visions were not dark: there was a\npleasurable illumination in your eye occasionally, a soft excitement in\nyour aspect, which told of no bitter, bilious, hypochondriac brooding:\nyour look revealed rather the sweet musings of youth when its spirit\nfollows on willing wings the flight of Hope up and on to an ideal heaven.", "The voice of Mrs. Fairfax, speaking to a servant in the hall, wakened\nyou: and how curiously you smiled to and at yourself, Janet!", "There was\nmuch sense in your smile: it was very shrewd, and seemed to make light of\nyour own abstraction.", "It seemed to say--'My fine visions are all very\nwell, but I must not forget they are absolutely unreal.", "I have a rosy\nsky and a green flowery Eden in my brain; but without, I am perfectly\naware, lies at my feet a rough tract to travel, and around me gather\nblack tempests to encounter.'", "You ran downstairs and demanded of Mrs.\nFairfax some occupation: the weekly house accounts to make up, or\nsomething of that sort, I think it was.", "I was vexed with you for getting\nout of my sight.", "\"Impatiently I waited for evening, when I might summon you to my\npresence.", "An unusual--to me--a perfectly new character I suspected was\nyours: I desired to search it deeper and know it better.", "You entered the\nroom with a look and air at once shy and independent: you were quaintly\ndressed--much as you are now.", "I made you talk: ere long I found you full\nof strange contrasts.", "Your garb and manner were restricted by rule; your\nair was often diffident, and altogether that of one refined by nature,\nbut absolutely unused to society, and a good deal afraid of making\nherself disadvantageously conspicuous by some solecism or blunder; yet\nwhen addressed, you lifted a keen, a daring, and a glowing eye to your\ninterlocutor's face: there was penetration and power in each glance you\ngave; when plied by close questions, you found ready and round answers.", "Very soon you seemed to get used to me: I believe you felt the existence\nof sympathy between you and your grim and cross master, Jane; for it was\nastonishing to see how quickly a certain pleasant ease tranquillised your\nmanner: snarl as I would, you showed no surprise, fear, annoyance, or\ndispleasure at my moroseness; you watched me, and now and then smiled at\nme with a simple yet sagacious grace I cannot describe.", "I was at once\ncontent and stimulated with what I saw: I liked what I had seen, and\nwished to see more.", "Yet, for a long time, I treated you distantly, and\nsought your company rarely.", "I was an intellectual epicure, and wished to\nprolong the gratification of making this novel and piquant acquaintance:\nbesides, I was for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if I\nhandled the flower freely its bloom would fade--the sweet charm of\nfreshness would leave it.", "I did not then know that it was no transitory\nblossom, but rather the radiant resemblance of one, cut in an\nindestructible gem.", "Moreover, I wished to see whether you would seek me\nif I shunned you--but you did not; you kept in the schoolroom as still as\nyour own desk and easel; if by chance I met you, you passed me as soon,\nand with as little token of recognition, as was consistent with respect.", "Your habitual expression in those days, Jane, was a thoughtful look; not\ndespondent, for you were not sickly; but not buoyant, for you had little\nhope, and no actual pleasure.", "I wondered what you thought of me, or if\nyou ever thought of me, and resolved to find this out.", "\"I resumed my notice of you.", "There was something glad in your glance,\nand genial in your manner, when you conversed: I saw you had a social\nheart; it was the silent schoolroom--it was the tedium of your life--that\nmade you mournful.", "I permitted myself the delight of being kind to you;\nkindness stirred emotion soon: your face became soft in expression, your\ntones gentle; I liked my name pronounced by your lips in a grateful happy\naccent.", "I used to enjoy a chance meeting with you, Jane, at this time:\nthere was a curious hesitation in your manner: you glanced at me with a\nslight trouble--a hovering doubt: you did not know what my caprice might\nbe--whether I was going to play the master and be stern, or the friend\nand be benignant.", "I was now too fond of you often to simulate the first\nwhim; and, when I stretched my hand out cordially, such bloom and light\nand bliss rose to your young, wistful features, I had much ado often to\navoid straining you then and there to my heart.\"", "\"Don't talk any more of those days, sir,\" I interrupted, furtively\ndashing away some tears from my eyes; his language was torture to me; for\nI knew what I must do--and do soon--and all these reminiscences, and\nthese revelations of his feelings only made my work more difficult.", "\"No, Jane,\" he returned: \"what necessity is there to dwell on the Past,\nwhen the Present is so much surer--the Future so much brighter?\"", "I shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion.", "\"You see now how the case stands--do you not?\"", "he continued.", "\"After a\nyouth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary\nsolitude, I have for the first time found what I can truly love--I have\nfound you.", "You are my sympathy--my better self--my good angel.", "I am\nbound to you with a strong attachment.", "I think you good, gifted, lovely:\na fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you,\ndraws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you,\nand, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.", "\"It was because I felt and knew this, that I resolved to marry you.", "To\ntell me that I had already a wife is empty mockery: you know now that I\nhad but a hideous demon.", "I was wrong to attempt to deceive you; but I\nfeared a stubbornness that exists in your character.", "I feared early\ninstilled prejudice: I wanted to have you safe before hazarding\nconfidences.", "This was cowardly: I should have appealed to your nobleness\nand magnanimity at first, as I do now--opened to you plainly my life of\nagony--described to you my hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier\nexistence--shown to you, not my _resolution_ (that word is weak), but my\nresistless _bent_ to love faithfully and well, where I am faithfully and\nwell loved in return.", "Then I should have asked you to accept my pledge\nof fidelity and to give me yours.", "Jane--give it me now.\"", "A pause.", "\"Why are you silent, Jane?\"", "I was experiencing an ordeal: a hand of fiery iron grasped my vitals.", "Terrible moment: full of struggle, blackness, burning!", "Not a human being\nthat ever lived could wish to be loved better than I was loved; and him\nwho thus loved me I absolutely worshipped: and I must renounce love and\nidol.", "One drear word comprised my intolerable duty--\"Depart!\"", "\"Jane, you understand what I want of you?", "Just this promise--'I will be\nyours, Mr.", "Rochester.'\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I will _not_ be yours.\"", "Another long silence.", "\"Jane!\"", "recommenced he, with a gentleness that broke me down with grief,\nand turned me stone-cold with ominous terror--for this still voice was\nthe pant of a lion rising--\"Jane, do you mean to go one way in the world,\nand to let me go another?\"", "\"I do.\"", "\"Jane\" (bending towards and embracing me), \"do you mean it now?\"", "\"I do.\"", "\"And now?\"", "softly kissing my forehead and cheek.", "\"I do,\" extricating myself from restraint rapidly and completely.", "\"Oh, Jane, this is bitter!", "This--this is wicked.", "It would not be wicked\nto love me.\"", "\"It would to obey you.\"", "A wild look raised his brows--crossed his features: he rose; but he\nforebore yet.", "I laid my hand on the back of a chair for support: I\nshook, I feared--but I resolved.", "\"One instant, Jane.", "Give one glance to my horrible life when you are\ngone.", "All happiness will be torn away with you.", "What then is left?", "For\na wife I have but the maniac upstairs: as well might you refer me to some\ncorpse in yonder churchyard.", "What shall I do, Jane?", "Where turn for a\ncompanion and for some hope?\"", "\"Do as I do: trust in God and yourself.", "Believe in heaven.", "Hope to meet\nagain there.\"", "\"Then you will not yield?\"", "\"No.\"", "\"Then you condemn me to live wretched and to die accursed?\"", "His voice\nrose.", "\"I advise you to live sinless, and I wish you to die tranquil.\"", "\"Then you snatch love and innocence from me?", "You fling me back on lust\nfor a passion--vice for an occupation?\"", "\"Mr. Rochester, I no more assign this fate to you than I grasp at it for\nmyself.", "We were born to strive and endure--you as well as I: do so.", "You\nwill forget me before I forget you.\"", "\"You make me a liar by such language: you sully my honour.", "I declared I\ncould not change: you tell me to my face I shall change soon.", "And what a\ndistortion in your judgment, what a perversity in your ideas, is proved\nby your conduct!", "Is it better to drive a fellow-creature to despair than\nto transgress a mere human law, no man being injured by the breach?", "for\nyou have neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend\nby living with me?\"", "This was true: and while he spoke my very conscience and reason turned\ntraitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him.", "They\nspoke almost as loud as Feeling: and that clamoured wildly.", "\"Oh,\ncomply!\"", "it said.", "\"Think of his misery; think of his danger--look at his\nstate when left alone; remember his headlong nature; consider the\nrecklessness following on despair--soothe him; save him; love him; tell\nhim you love him and will be his.", "Who in the world cares for _you_?", "or\nwho will be injured by what you do?\"", "Still indomitable was the reply--\"_I_ care for myself.", "The more\nsolitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will\nrespect myself.", "I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man.", "I\nwill hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not\nmad--as I am now.", "Laws and principles are not for the times when there\nis no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul\nrise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they\nshall be.", "If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would\nbe their worth?", "They have a worth--so I have always believed; and if I\ncannot believe it now, it is because I am insane--quite insane: with my\nveins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its\nthrobs.", "Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have\nat this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot.\"", "I did.", "Mr. Rochester, reading my countenance, saw I had done so.", "His\nfury was wrought to the highest: he must yield to it for a moment,\nwhatever followed; he crossed the floor and seized my arm and grasped my\nwaist.", "He seemed to devour me with his flaming glance: physically, I\nfelt, at the moment, powerless as stubble exposed to the draught and glow\nof a furnace: mentally, I still possessed my soul, and with it the\ncertainty of ultimate safety.", "The soul, fortunately, has an\ninterpreter--often an unconscious, but still a truthful interpreter--in\nthe eye.", "My eye rose to his; and while I looked in his fierce face I\ngave an involuntary sigh; his gripe was painful, and my over-taxed\nstrength almost exhausted.", "\"Never,\" said he, as he ground his teeth, \"never was anything at once so\nfrail and so indomitable.", "A mere reed she feels in my hand!\"", "(And he\nshook me with the force of his hold.)", "\"I could bend her with my finger\nand thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed\nher?", "Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking\nout of it, defying me, with more than courage--with a stern triumph.", "Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it--the savage, beautiful\ncreature!", "If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only\nlet the captive loose.", "Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate\nwould escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay\ndwelling-place.", "And it is you, spirit--with will and energy, and virtue\nand purity--that I want: not alone your brittle frame.", "Of yourself you\ncould come with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would:\nseized against your will, you will elude the grasp like an essence--you\nwill vanish ere I inhale your fragrance.", "Oh!", "come, Jane, come!\"", "As he said this, he released me from his clutch, and only looked at me.", "The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain: only an idiot,\nhowever, would have succumbed now.", "I had dared and baffled his fury; I\nmust elude his sorrow: I retired to the door.", "\"You are going, Jane?\"", "\"I am going, sir.\"", "\"You are leaving me?\"", "\"Yes.\"", "\"You will not come?", "You will not be my comforter, my rescuer?", "My deep\nlove, my wild woe, my frantic prayer, are all nothing to you?\"", "What unutterable pathos was in his voice!", "How hard it was to reiterate\nfirmly, \"I am going.\"", "\"Jane!\"", "\"Mr.", "Rochester!\"", "\"Withdraw, then,--I consent; but remember, you leave me here in anguish.", "Go up to your own room; think over all I have said, and, Jane, cast a\nglance on my sufferings--think of me.\"", "He turned away; he threw himself on his face on the sofa.", "\"Oh, Jane!", "my\nhope--my love--my life!\"", "broke in anguish from his lips.", "Then came a\ndeep, strong sob.", "I had already gained the door; but, reader, I walked back--walked back as\ndeterminedly as I had retreated.", "I knelt down by him; I turned his face\nfrom the cushion to me; I kissed his cheek; I smoothed his hair with my\nhand.", "\"God bless you, my dear master!\"", "I said.", "\"God keep you from harm and\nwrong--direct you, solace you--reward you well for your past kindness to\nme.\"", "\"Little Jane's love would have been my best reward,\" he answered;\n\"without it, my heart is broken.", "But Jane will give me her love:\nyes--nobly, generously.\"", "Up the blood rushed to his face; forth flashed the fire from his eyes;\nerect he sprang; he held his arms out; but I evaded the embrace, and at\nonce quitted the room.", "\"Farewell!\"", "was the cry of my heart as I left him.", "Despair added,\n\"Farewell for ever!\"", "* * * * *\n\nThat night I never thought to sleep; but a slumber fell on me as soon as\nI lay down in bed.", "I was transported in thought to the scenes of\nchildhood: I dreamt I lay in the red-room at Gateshead; that the night\nwas dark, and my mind impressed with strange fears.", "The light that long\nago had struck me into syncope, recalled in this vision, seemed glidingly\nto mount the wall, and tremblingly to pause in the centre of the obscured\nceiling.", "I lifted up my head to look: the roof resolved to clouds, high\nand dim; the gleam was such as the moon imparts to vapours she is about\nto sever.", "I watched her come--watched with the strangest anticipation;\nas though some word of doom were to be written on her disk.", "She broke\nforth as never moon yet burst from cloud: a hand first penetrated the\nsable folds and waved them away; then, not a moon, but a white human form\nshone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthward.", "It gazed and\ngazed on me.", "It spoke to my spirit: immeasurably distant was the tone,\nyet so near, it whispered in my heart--\n\n\"My daughter, flee temptation.\"", "\"Mother, I will.\"", "So I answered after I had waked from the trance-like dream.", "It was yet\nnight, but July nights are short: soon after midnight, dawn comes.", "\"It\ncannot be too early to commence the task I have to fulfil,\" thought I. I\nrose: I was dressed; for I had taken off nothing but my shoes.", "I knew\nwhere to find in my drawers some linen, a locket, a ring.", "In seeking\nthese articles, I encountered the beads of a pearl necklace Mr. Rochester\nhad forced me to accept a few days ago.", "I left that; it was not mine: it\nwas the visionary bride's who had melted in air.", "The other articles I\nmade up in a parcel; my purse, containing twenty shillings (it was all I\nhad), I put in my pocket: I tied on my straw bonnet, pinned my shawl,\ntook the parcel and my slippers, which I would not put on yet, and stole\nfrom my room.", "\"Farewell, kind Mrs.", "Fairfax!\"", "I whispered, as I glided past her door.", "\"Farewell, my darling Adele!\"", "I said, as I glanced towards the nursery.", "No thought could be admitted of entering to embrace her.", "I had to\ndeceive a fine ear: for aught I knew it might now be listening.", "I would have got past Mr. Rochester's chamber without a pause; but my\nheart momentarily stopping its beat at that threshold, my foot was forced\nto stop also.", "No sleep was there: the inmate was walking restlessly from\nwall to wall; and again and again he sighed while I listened.", "There was\na heaven--a temporary heaven--in this room for me, if I chose: I had but\nto go in and to say--\n\n\"Mr. Rochester, I will love you and live with you through life till\ndeath,\" and a fount of rapture would spring to my lips.", "I thought of\nthis.", "That kind master, who could not sleep now, was waiting with impatience\nfor day.", "He would send for me in the morning; I should be gone.", "He\nwould have me sought for: vainly.", "He would feel himself forsaken; his\nlove rejected: he would suffer; perhaps grow desperate.", "I thought of\nthis too.", "My hand moved towards the lock: I caught it back, and glided\non.", "Drearily I wound my way downstairs: I knew what I had to do, and I did it\nmechanically.", "I sought the key of the side-door in the kitchen; I\nsought, too, a phial of oil and a feather; I oiled the key and the lock.", "I got some water, I got some bread: for perhaps I should have to walk\nfar; and my strength, sorely shaken of late, must not break down.", "All\nthis I did without one sound.", "I opened the door, passed out, shut it\nsoftly.", "Dim dawn glimmered in the yard.", "The great gates were closed and\nlocked; but a wicket in one of them was only latched.", "Through that I\ndeparted: it, too, I shut; and now I was out of Thornfield.", "A mile off, beyond the fields, lay a road which stretched in the contrary\ndirection to Millcote; a road I had never travelled, but often noticed,\nand wondered where it led: thither I bent my steps.", "No reflection was to\nbe allowed now: not one glance was to be cast back; not even one forward.", "Not one thought was to be given either to the past or the future.", "The\nfirst was a page so heavenly sweet--so deadly sad--that to read one line\nof it would dissolve my courage and break down my energy.", "The last was\nan awful blank: something like the world when the deluge was gone by.", "I skirted fields, and hedges, and lanes till after sunrise.", "I believe it\nwas a lovely summer morning: I know my shoes, which I had put on when I\nleft the house, were soon wet with dew.", "But I looked neither to rising\nsun, nor smiling sky, nor wakening nature.", "He who is taken out to pass\nthrough a fair scene to the scaffold, thinks not of the flowers that\nsmile on his road, but of the block and axe-edge; of the disseverment of\nbone and vein; of the grave gaping at the end: and I thought of drear\nflight and homeless wandering--and oh!", "with agony I thought of what I\nleft.", "I could not help it.", "I thought of him now--in his room--watching\nthe sunrise; hoping I should soon come to say I would stay with him and\nbe his.", "I longed to be his; I panted to return: it was not too late; I\ncould yet spare him the bitter pang of bereavement.", "As yet my flight, I\nwas sure, was undiscovered.", "I could go back and be his comforter--his\npride; his redeemer from misery, perhaps from ruin.", "Oh, that fear of his\nself-abandonment--far worse than my abandonment--how it goaded me!", "It\nwas a barbed arrow-head in my breast; it tore me when I tried to extract\nit; it sickened me when remembrance thrust it farther in.", "Birds began\nsinging in brake and copse: birds were faithful to their mates; birds\nwere emblems of love.", "What was I?", "In the midst of my pain of heart and\nfrantic effort of principle, I abhorred myself.", "I had no solace from\nself-approbation: none even from self-respect.", "I had\ninjured--wounded--left my master.", "I was hateful in my own eyes.", "Still I\ncould not turn, nor retrace one step.", "God must have led me on.", "As to my\nown will or conscience, impassioned grief had trampled one and stifled\nthe other.", "I was weeping wildly as I walked along my solitary way: fast,\nfast I went like one delirious.", "A weakness, beginning inwardly,\nextending to the limbs, seized me, and I fell: I lay on the ground some\nminutes, pressing my face to the wet turf.", "I had some fear--or hope--that\nhere I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and\nknees, and then again raised to my feet--as eager and as determined as\never to reach the road.", "When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and\nwhile I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on.", "I stood up and\nlifted my hand; it stopped.", "I asked where it was going: the driver named\na place a long way off, and where I was sure Mr. Rochester had no\nconnections.", "I asked for what sum he would take me there; he said thirty\nshillings; I answered I had but twenty; well, he would try to make it do.", "He further gave me leave to get into the inside, as the vehicle was\nempty: I entered, was shut in, and it rolled on its way.", "Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt!", "May your eyes never\nshed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine.", "May\nyou never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in\nthat hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the\ninstrument of evil to what you wholly love." ]

[ "\"I cannot: I am tired and sick.", "Why do you importune me about her!", "My father and my brother Rowland knew all this;\nbut they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds, and joined in the\nplot against me.\"", "Still, society associated my name and person with hers; I yet saw her and\nheard her daily: something of her breath (faugh!)", "I did not know it, even when, on the occasion of Mesrour's\naccident, it came up and gravely offered me help.", "This was true: and while he spoke my very conscience and reason turned\ntraitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him.", "My deep\nlove, my wild woe, my frantic prayer, are all nothing to you?\"", "He would feel himself forsaken; his\nlove rejected: he would suffer; perhaps grow desperate.", "I had some fear--or hope--that\nhere I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and\nknees, and then again raised to my feet--as eager and as determined as\never to reach the road.", "When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and\nwhile I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on." ]

[ "You already know what she was,\nand how my liaison with her terminated.", "\"The last time, Jane!", "Hope to meet\nagain there.\"", "\"Then you will not yield?\"", "But, Jane, I see\nby your face you are not forming a very favourable opinion of me just\nnow.", "My father and my brother Rowland knew all this;\nbut they thought only of the thirty thousand pounds, and joined in the\nplot against me.\"", "I told you I would send Adele to school; and\nwhat do I want with a child for a companion, and not my own child,--a\nFrench dancer's bastard?", "\"Of course: I told you you should.", "His voice was hoarse;\nhis look that of a man who is just about to burst an insufferable bond\nand plunge headlong into wild license.", "She broke\nforth as never moon yet burst from cloud: a hand first penetrated the\nsable folds and waved them away; then, not a moon, but a white human form\nshone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthward." ]

[ "\"I mean,--What next?", "How did you proceed?", "What came of such an event?\"", "\"Precisely!", "and what do you wish to know now?\"", "\"Whether you found any one you liked: whether you asked her to marry you;\nand what she said.\"", "\"I can tell you whether I found any one I liked, and whether I asked her\nto marry me: but what she said is yet to be recorded in the book of Fate.", "For ten long years I roved about, living first in one capital, then\nanother: sometimes in St. Petersburg; oftener in Paris; occasionally in\nRome, Naples, and Florence.", "Provided with plenty of money and the\npassport of an old name, I could choose my own society: no circles were\nclosed against me.", "I sought my ideal of a woman amongst English ladies,\nFrench countesses, Italian signoras, and German grafinnen.", "I could not\nfind her." ]

[ "\n\nSome time in the afternoon I raised my head, and looking round and seeing\nthe western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall, I asked,\n\"What am I to do?\"", "But the answer my mind gave--\"Leave Thornfield at once\"--was so prompt,\nso dread, that I stopped my ears.", "I said I could not bear such words\nnow.", "\"That I am not Edward Rochester's bride is the least part of my\nwoe,\" I alleged: \"that I have wakened out of most glorious dreams, and\nfound them all void and vain, is a horror I could bear and master; but\nthat I must leave him decidedly, instantly, entirely, is intolerable.", "I\ncannot do it.\"", "But, then, a voice within me averred that I could do it and foretold that\nI should do it.", "I wrestled with my own resolution: I wanted to be weak\nthat I might avoid the awful passage of further suffering I saw laid out\nfor me; and Conscience, turned tyrant, held Passion by the throat, told\nher tauntingly, she had yet but dipped her dainty foot in the slough, and\nswore that with that arm of iron he would thrust her down to unsounded\ndepths of agony.", "\"Let me be torn away,\" then I cried.", "\"Let another help me!\"", "\"No; you shall tear yourself away, none shall help you: you shall\nyourself pluck out your right eye; yourself cut off your right hand: your\nheart shall be the victim, and you the priest to transfix it.\"", "A weakness, beginning inwardly,\nextending to the limbs, seized me, and I fell: I lay on the ground some\nminutes, pressing my face to the wet turf.", "I had some fear--or hope--that\nhere I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and\nknees, and then again raised to my feet--as eager and as determined as\never to reach the road.", "When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and\nwhile I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on.", "I stood up and\nlifted my hand; it stopped.", "I asked where it was going: the driver named\na place a long way off, and where I was sure Mr. Rochester had no\nconnections.", "I asked for what sum he would take me there; he said thirty\nshillings; I answered I had but twenty; well, he would try to make it do.", "He further gave me leave to get into the inside, as the vehicle was\nempty: I entered, was shut in, and it rolled on its way.", "Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt!", "May your eyes never\nshed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine.", "May\nyou never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in\nthat hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the\ninstrument of evil to what you wholly love." ]