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How to make a funny and egotistical character that doesn't annoy the audience Oh, this one's a classic. You have a character with an ego so large, it's on the verge of collapsing into an intellectual black hole. You want to make it into a comic relief but instead, end up with an irritating pain in the a*** that ruins the mood. Such character would be Mephistopheles, a shady creature, serving as the quest-giver and a complete rip-off of Christian Weston Chandler. So far, I avoided the main irritating elements of your average narcissist, by replacing them with the weird goals and delusions, like believing that God spoke to him in his dreams and ordered Mephisto to abolish all religions and replace them with atheism in God's name. Of course, I can't keep that up forever, that would be just too unrealistic, less hilarious traits will crop up and I have zero ideas on how should I handle them . <Q> Watch Thor: <S> Ragnarok and pay attention to Jeff Goldbum's Grandmaster. <S> I think he's the kind of archetype you're looking for. <S> You want someone who is not actively malicious, but so self-involved as to be capable of hurting others purely because he doesn't recognize that it's painful. <S> If it amuses him, it's good. <S> If it thwarts him, it's bad (but in a "you naughty boy!" <S> kind of way, not in a "you are my sworn enemy now" way). <S> If what thwarts him is stopped, all is sunshine again. <S> The Grandmaster is powerful, egotistical, and I think even immortal (or at least very long-lived). <S> He has set up the planet of Sakaar to amuse himself. <S> His amusements are violent, possibly fatal, for the participants (Thor), but he's a complete merry goofball about it. <S> The audience enjoys his cartoonish glee even when it's at the expense of the main characters, because he's not malicious or desiring that people suffer. <S> If you can get on his good side, he's capable of lavishing rewards on you (as the Hulk and Loki found out). <A> I love a-hole characters. <S> I love reading them <S> and I love writing them. <S> (I even just finished reworking my own main character to make him even worse than he was.) <S> And I think that's half of the battle. <S> You have to have enjoy them yourself. <S> If they annoy you, they'll definitely annoy the reader. <S> So you need to have a certain amount of empathy with them. <S> Like any good character, they need to be more than just a description of their traits. <S> But the other half of the equation is the opposite. <S> You can't be too much in the tank for them, or you'll end up with a character that's only appealing to you. <S> That means you need to limit your sympathy (rather than empathy). <S> Don't give them a magic get-out-of-jail-free card for their sins, or make it so everyone immediately finds them charming. <S> The other characters should react to them with appropriate levels of distaste. <S> If people end up liking them despite their flaws, there needs to be some legitimate reason. <S> A couple of good examples that I find done well are Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Nick Twisp from Youth In Revolt . <S> Although very different in personality, both are narcissists you might never want to meet in real life, but who are compelling onscreen or on the page. <A> Have a look at Archer in the eponymous animated series: He's a narcissist, sometimes cruel, often thoughtless, and regularly an outright a**hole. <S> But: he also has weak points that leave him in emotional shambles once in a while, which he treats (and thereby treats himself) with the same kind of jokular breeziness (in retrospect, at least) that he inflicts on others. <S> This weakness and self-awareness/self-denial is what makes him a likeable character. <S> Try giving your character (external view: <S> major, internal view: <S> minor)doubts, maybe even share those doubts (char would never share big doubts, but he misapprehends them as minor), and have other chars react to that naturally - the inflated ego will then have the hallmarks of a disability, and score empathy-points. <A> How to make a funny and egotistical character that doesn't annoy the audience? <S> I love that question - and here's my jolly answer: you need to make your character part of the audience! :) <S> In other words, you need to write the character in such a way that the audience (the reader?) is led, unavoidably, to the conclusion that they are reading about themselves. <S> A certain amount of subtlety is required here - after all, you are not accusing your reader of being egotistical - heaven forbid. <S> But you do need them to realise that we all share certain traits and that one of them is that we care about ourselves more than we do the average Jo(sephine) in the street (despite our best efforts). <S> Plus - give your character some good lines. <S> And by the way - never trust an electrician with no eyebrows. <S> Yeah, not like that one. :O <A> One classic strategy is to contrast then with a deuteragonist (who might also be a narrator), who sees through them <S> and/or is the real talent. <S> Look at Don Quixote and Sancho Panza <S> (it's an old technique!), Captain Pugwash and Tom the cabin boy, or Wallace and Gromit. <A> He is the epitome of a genius who is wholly and unsufferably aware of his looming intellect. <S> Had the character not had a certain charm when he first appeared as a foil to the lead genius-but-not-arrogant-with-it, Major Samantha Carter <S> , I am sure that we would never have seen him again. <S> I believe the reason we tolerated and even loved McKay's arrogant nature was because there was also a vulnerability behind it. <S> He was a smart person surrounded by smart and capable people. <S> He realized that intellect alone could not solve all of the issues, which gave the character a humility that everyone pretended not to notice as to not damage his towering ego, which in many ways was what made him so effective. <S> His ego was in many ways also his greatest strength; he knew he could solve each issue. <S> In a few episodes we saw him stumped by a difficult problem; he started doubting himself <S> and then he faltered. <S> It was a combination of good acting and good writing and for me a great example of the type of character <S> you are trying to portray.

We as an audience would will him to use that towering ego of his to believe in himself and save the day. A great example of an egotistical character who the audience warms to is Dr Rodney McKay , who played a short role in Stargate: SG1 and then as one of the lead characters in Stargate: Atlantis.

When does something become "torture porn"? I've heard this term thrown around sometimes in a derisive way (obviously), and usually not just to refer to Saw movies. I don't remember who it was, but I remember someone saying how the movie "Logan" is "dark and depressing, but never truly descends into torture porn", and it made me think about my own stories. I put my characters through a lot of misery, and I kinda fear now that I'm headed into that "territory". So... how much misery can you put your characters through before it becomes "just" torture porn? Is there a kind of misery you should avoid in story telling to avoid being labelled as such? <Q> Porn in general shows something for the excitement of it in and of itself . <S> In a story, authors stray into porn when what we are showing does not advance the story, build character, or have any ramifications or consequences to what happens later in the story. <S> Generally, showing sex (or torture) itself is not that necessary, the specifics of what went where or what got amputated don't make a difference unless that has an effect on that character or another character in a later scene. <S> So a torture scene might be important if it motivates a non-victim (to good or evil), but just showing some guy being tortured to death, if it is only done for the villain's self-gratification and the details of that torture have no consequences for him or anybody else later in the story, then that is torture porn. <S> I have not had reason to engage in fictional torture, but I may write several pages of a sex scene because the details of the sex cause a major change in the characters; e.g. a casual sexual encounter becomes unexpectedly intense and this becomes love. <S> Or what began consensually becomes a forcible rape, and that has consequences. <S> It isn't enough to "tell" what happened in either of those stories. <S> It must be shown, for my hero, why that sexual encounter was different than any previous sexual encounter in her life, because I (the author) intend to hang some story on it. <S> The difference is that "porn" of any kind can be cut from the story and "told" without changing the plot. <S> That said, a little porn can sell; many romance novels contain thinly disguised porn scenes that could be cut without changing the plot. <S> Porn makes $billions, and constitutes nearly HALF of all internet traffic. <S> From a puritan writing standpoint, what is unnecessary to the plot may be the reason some people buy your work! <S> So I wouldn't say prohibit it; but don't overdo it. <S> Don't do it so often that the audience loses track of the plot and characters; I'm thinking perhaps three times in a story. <S> It would be hard for ME to justify more "transformative" sex scenes than that for a MC. <A> Let me point you to the relevant TV Tropes page: Torture Porn <S> If it appears that a work is full of torture for the sake of torture, torture for the sake of being chilling and disgusting with nothing deeper than that, it's torture porn. <S> If you're putting your character through a lot of misery, but it doesn't appear that it's all torture for the sake of torture, you might want to look at a different trope instead: Trauma Conga Line . <S> That's when bad things keep happening to your character, one after the other, like the world just can't give him a break. <A> Torture Porn has a certain revelling tone to it, it enjoys the specifics for no other reason than, as Amadeus put it, its own sake. <S> Instead of using torture as a device to show, say, that someone is going above and beyond to acquire some information, or vice versa, enduring above and beyond to keep some information contained, they instead just go 'cyoar, look at this guy getting his nuts crushed, that's nasty, amirite?'

In brief, torture porn is when a work gives a lot of attention to the torture, describes it in great detail, apparently not so much to show that torture is wrong, but to simultaneously disgust the audience and give them a visceral thrill.

How to refer to a character who doesn't know her name? I am writing a book that begins with the protagonist having amnesia (cliché, I know). At first, I wrote it in the first person jumping from one character to another, however I had to write a whole chapter from that specific character's POV. Third person lets me jump from one character's POV to another quite easily in just a matter of paragraphs, but how can I do this in the first person? So my question is, what should I do? If I decide to write it in the third person, how do I refer to the protagonist (who doesn't know her name yet)? <Q> One solution, at least at first, is to just use the pronoun : <S> She woke up in a room she did not recognise. <S> How had she got here? <S> Where was she? <S> Come to think of it, who was she? <S> With a horrible sinking feeling, she realised she couldn't remember her name. <S> Such a structure emphasises the disorientation of being unable to remember one's name. <S> However, after a while, using nothing but a pronoun can become tiresome, and also confusing if there are other women present in the scene. <S> Then, maybe someone gives the protagonist some temporary name ? <S> After all, it would be as hard for other characters to refer to the nameless MC as it is for you. <S> The protagonist might find it jarring, but use it nonetheless in the absence of anything better. <S> It would cast the MC as a random nobody. <S> I'd use it only if this particular effect was what I wanted to create. <A> If you find it easier to write the novel in third-person, then you should write the novel in third-person. <S> Regarding how to handle switching first-person perspectives, I'm sure there's a question about that here already, but I can't find it - in any case, I would not recommend doing it within chapters unless you want to confuse your readers. <S> As for what to refer to your protagonist as - what does she refer to herself as? <S> Or the other characters in the novel? <S> This is convenient not only for them, but for you and your readers. <S> As an example: one of my stories has an entire cast of characters with missing or false memories. <S> One of those with no memories gives herself a (very symbolic) placeholder name, while another is given a nickname by another character just so she has something to call her. <S> Either of those approaches could work for your story, depending on what kind of story it is. <A> @galastel is right. <S> You can mix it with another solution: use impersonal designation based on the facts known to the character about him/herself. <S> The protagonist is a woman ? <S> So, "The woman stood up". <S> Is she old ? <S> "The old women walked through the garden. <S> "There's many facts about yourself that your body could teach you, and it makes the story even more interesting as you could use the name question as a way to show how the protagonist is building her identity.

If she doesn't know her real name, then she or the other characters should invent some kind of nickname or placeholder name to refer to her as. Depending on your setting and story, Jane Doe (whatever the parallel is in the language you're writing in) is also a possibility, but that would create a distance between the reader and the story.

How can I write in a way that makes the book very interesting to read? This is a really weird question, but, for me this matters because English is not my first language. Whenever I read these famous novels, the authors use words which have really deep meanings and which makes the book very interesting to read. So my question is: how do I write that way? I really want to improve my writing as well as my English. And also I am writing a book and I want to make it as good as I can, I would love to get some tips regarding that. <Q> Vocabulary alone isn't enough to make your book interesting. <S> In fact, if your story is too heavy with obscure words, it might become hard to read and off-putting. <S> That said, growing your vocabulary is a good idea for a writer: your vocabulary is your arsenal of tools that you can use as you see fit. <S> It's always a good idea to have more tools at your hand. <S> So how do you grow your vocabulary? <S> You read . <S> A lot. <S> You familiarise yourself with the use of the words you like. <S> Once a word is firmly in your passive vocabulary (that is, you've seen it in writing in multiple contexts), it passes naturally into your active vocabulary: when you need that particular word, it will come to you naturally. <S> It's the same as learning a language: <S> reading in a foreign language helps you accustom your mind to what words exist and how they're employed. <A> Writing well gramatically with rich vocabulary, is the art of the execution only. <S> Complex fictional characters and story-lines often based loosely on real-life people and events in the past (sometimes autobiographical), can encourage a reader to come along with you for the ride as they twist and lurch with you around those sinuous bends. <S> A good story for me is unpredictable. <S> You can also use a dark ironic humour like Sylvia Plath did in her book "The Bell Jar" if you are that type of person. <S> GoodLuck. <A> In addition to the given answers, Firstly, developing your vocabulary is a good idea. <S> Some tips to improve vocabulary - Read . <S> Read a lot. <S> Read as much as you can. <S> Read newspaper, read articles, read novels. <S> Write as much as you can. <S> This doesn't require your writing to be top notch. <S> Just write. <S> Write in different sites, discussion forums, maybe create your small personal blog. <S> There are many mobile applications that help you build your vocabulary on a daily basis. <S> This might be helpful if you don't have an access to any above points at any time. <S> There is this one book - Wordpower made easy by Norman Lewis . <S> This is one the most famous book for improving vocabulary. <S> (I have also used this) <S> Now talking about the intriguing part, to keep the reader interested, keep the following points in mind <S> - Make a detailed structure of your characters . <S> It is said that you should be knowing your characters so well, as if their some alive people in your life. <S> Give a detailed, yet brief, description of the scene. <S> Write about the view, the atmosphere, the weather.. <S> But keep in mind, don't write too much about it. <S> The reader is being introduced to the scene so don't drag it too much. <S> Lastly, write about the emotions of the characters in the scene. <S> Say you're writing a battle scene, then you write about the emotions of the warriors <S> - like all were furious, angry on their enemies, bravery spread in the air, etc. <S> Hope <S> this helps you. <S> Good luck! <A> You have some great tips here already. <S> I'll add one more that you could try: Team up with an English writer. <S> If you can find one who is trying to learn to write in your native tongue, even better! <S> You can help each other. <S> Correcting people's writing and vocabulary is usually seen as impolite. <S> And often, as long as your meaning is understood, people won't say anything about how it's written or worded. <S> What will help you develop your English language is having someone who can critique your work. <S> If you aren't made aware of the mistakes you may be making with your writing, how will you ever improve? <S> Reading, yes. <S> But reading can be a very passive way of learning, particularly if you're reading at night, ready for sleep. <S> Writing is a much more active way of learning but you need someone to correct it for you. <S> You learn quickly from mistakes. <S> I did Arabic classes when I lived in the middle east and having a native speaker read my work <S> really helped. <S> But try to find a creative writer, someone who knows the craft well, not a member of your family or a good friend who may be too careful of your feelings to give you brutally open and honest feedback on your work. <S> I also find that readers who have no training or experience in the craft, often know something isn't quite right, but can't always articulate why it's not working the way it should. <S> Good luck!

A writer, according to me, should have a good grip on vocabulary. Whenever you're writing a scene, describe the scene . I would say it's to keep the reader guessing where you are taking them.

What are alternatives to "is that" as in "[something] is that [something]"? I am writing a thesis and I frequently find my self using the phrase 'is that'. For example: "The other feature that has been neglected is that the expert system would ..." I have been told that this is ugly. What are some alternatives? <Q> A few options: <S> Additionally, the expert system would... <S> The other neglected feature is the expert system would... <S> The expert system would .... this compounds the x. <A> The list is nearly endless: <S> The expert system farkling the foo is another feature which has been neglected. <S> Also a neglected feature, the expert system will farkle the foo. <S> An additional neglected feature of the expert system is farkling the foo. <S> Farkling the foo is the other feature of the expert system which has been neglected. <S> Farkling the foo is the other neglected feature of the expert system. <A> The alternative is to stop listening to people who say silly things like that. <S> There is, unfortunately, a sub-culture of writers who obsess over the minutia of prose without having any actually stylistic skill. <S> This means that come up with a collection of vacuous rules, and one of the most vacuous of these is a suspicion of any form of repetition. <S> If they can find the same course of three words three times on the same page the are instantly aroused, like a pointer who detects the smell of game. <S> The only place in which concerns could be legitimate at all is in literature. <S> For the most part they don't apply in literature because they are just simply wrong, the product of people trying to do by simple rules what can only be achieved by mature taste. <S> In academic and technical writing, your overwhelming obligation is to be clear. <S> The use of "is that" in the sentence, "The other feature that has been neglected is that the expert system would ..." is clear. <S> That is all the virtue that it needs to justify its use. <S> Trying to come up will alternative is quite likely to make your prose less clear, which is the cardinal sin of academic and technical writing. <S> Familiarity and repetition are important component of clarity. <S> Saying the same thing the same way is an important aid to clarity. <S> Rather than trying to introduce variation here, you should be trying to eliminate it. <S> Variety may have a role to play in art; consistency is fundamental to commerce, engineering, and academic study. <A> It might help if you try always to look for an active verb, and an active way of phrasing your statements. <S> "Be" verbs (is, are) lie flat and motionless. <S> "The problem with this approach is that...." is a weak way to start identifying a problem. <S> "The approach (fails, misses, lacks, hurts, ignores, minimizes)" and so on. <S> As mentioned by others, also, the use of "is that" is awkward (ungrammatical?) in your example. <S> "The other feature that has been neglected is [X feature]... <S> " <S> NOT <S> "The other feature that has been neglected is that [there is a feature named X] <S> In other words, basic recasting of your sentences can eliminate "is that" in most cases.

Instead, try an active verb -- don't just say 'this is a problem" but "this thing does something (which is obviously a problem)."

What is a term for groups of stanzas within a poem? Many free verse poems have "sections" or "divisions" within them that may be numbered or set off by a group of three marks. I'm wondering if there's a term for these sections. In some poems, the sections can be read as discrete, autonomous poems themselves. The closest I have found is canto , however this only seems to apply to long, epic poems, not short modern poems. For example, "Grayed In" by Martha Collins has 31 numbered sections, here are the first two: 1 Snow fallen, another going gone, new come in, open the door:           each night I grow young, my friends are well again, my life is all before me,           each morning I close a door, another door. 2 Cloud on cloud, gray on gray, snow fallen on snow, tree on tree on unleafed tree— only a river silvered with thin ice and a slash of gold in the late gray sky. Is there a term other than "section" for 1 and 2 above? <Q> I've come across three references that use "sections" to refer to groups of stanzas. <S> The Poetry Foundation's page for the poem says "Of Being Numerous: Sections 1-22." <S> Robert Pinsky quotes "the fifth section" of "Of Being Numerous" in Democracy, Culture, and the Voice Of Poetry , page 24. <S> This glossary entry for "Verse paragraph" refers to "titled sections" of Robert Pinsky's "Essay on Psychiatrists. <S> " <S> I don't know if there is another word that has the same meaning as "section," but these sources convince me that it isn't an informal term. <S> But it is odd that it is omitted from various poetry reference materials. <A> I have never seen "verse' used to refer to a group of stanzas. <S> On the other hand, the numbered sections in the question are short enough that I would be inclined to call each one a single stanza or verse. <S> The term "canto" can be used for divisions of a poem, but I have only seen it used for rather long sections of a quite long poem, not the sort of thing in the question. <S> The Hunting of the Snark was subtitled "An Agony in Eight fits" and each section was called a "fit", but that seems to have been a unique usage for that one poem, and in any case those fits each included scores of stanzas, and each covered quite a few pages. <S> Not quite the same thing. <S> I have seen long narrative poems divided into 'Chapters" or "books" or "parts" as a more modern equivalent of "cantos", but that would hardly seem to fit the example in the question. <S> I think "section" would really be the best option of any that have occured to me. <A> Though in your example, the first two stanzas are both 9 lines (including blank lines) which makes regular stanzas from what I can see, albeit I have not seen the rest of the poem. <A> 'Verse' is commonly used, although there may be some confusion as to whether it refers to the numbered sections or the sections separated by blank spaces in your example.

According to Poetry Express ( https://www.poetryexpress.org/poetry-writing-tips/stanza-breaks ), in free verse poems, stanzas of irregular size can be called "verse paragraphs."

How can I distance myself from an article published under my name, with edits I disagree with? I wrote an article for a university newspaper that summarizes incidents involving racism on campus. After edits, the sentence structure became uniformly long instead of varied, straightforward vocabulary was placed with ten-dollar words, and two sentences in a row now begin with the same clause ("In response,..."). Worst of all, the article now ends by telling the reader how to think. The original draft (which I still have) presents the facts and lets the reader draw his/her own conclusions. Now it ends by stating that the events describe will make it clear that racist individuals will receive consequences. In brief, the article makes me look preachy and bad at writing. It also disrespects the smarts of the reader, by essentially repetitively stating "...and this event is racist", rather than letting the reader think for himself/herself. The editor is confident that the new version is superior to the previous. The article's going to show up if people Google my name. I'm unsettled and unhappy about this. Is there anything I can do to distance myself from the article? <Q> If the article is published, you're trying to shut the door after the horse has bolted. <S> As @JasonBassford says you needed to have had an agreement in place that enabled you to approve edits before publication. <S> You could ask for the article itself to be removed, or request that your name be removed from it, but even then, cached versions will remain on the internet. <S> Removing it may be easier if there's anything defamatory in the article. <S> Can you go above the editor's head and complain? <S> If it or your name cannot be removed, is it possible to have a response to the article published? <A> I was the editor of my university paper back in the day. <S> Chris Sunami's answer is right; university newspapers are produced by amateurs, people learning the trade (who might not even be taking journalism-related coursework), and they sometimes err. <S> In addition to following the very good advice from Chris, you can ask for a retraction in the next edition. <S> A conventional wording would be something like this: <S> The article (title) published in the (date) edition was incorrectly attributed to (author). <S> (Publication name) regrets the error. <S> Normally there would be a sentence after the first one like "the article was actually written by X"; if you'd be more comfortable having the person who edited it (or the editorial team) take full responsibility, even though you wrote the first draft, you could ask for that. <S> Without some attribution some readers will wonder, but newspapers have other "unsigned" content too, like editorials (usually). <S> It sounds like your article was an opinion or analysis piece, and sometimes those are group efforts, so while leaving the attribution "hanging" like this might raise a few eyebrows, it won't be that unusual. <S> For online content they can also attach this to the page itself -- update the author credit at the top, and at the bottom include a note like "An earlier version of this article was published with incorrect attribution". <A> This is probably a not uncommon problem for less professional publications, where editorial norms may not be as well-understood. <S> That's not to say that ALL college publications are less professional, but some of them certainly are. <S> I'm sure the editor thinks he/she was doing you a big favor. <S> I would start by having a conversation with the publication, but try not to be overly confrontational. <S> Don't assume they'll be hostile --they <S> might be very responsive to your concerns. <S> If they won't do either (or even if they do, if you're concerned about the print edition), send them a letter and ask them to publish it in the letters to the editor section, summarizing, again in very neutral language, your problems with the published version, and the reasons you wish not to be associated with it. <S> Before you do any of that, however, please reread the edited article. <S> Is it possible <S> the edits are for the better, or at least, not as harmful/intrusive as you think? <S> We're all protective of our own writing, and it can be hard to accept even positive changes at first. <S> Once you've given the rewritten version a fair shake, ask yourself which is worse, to let the published version stand as your work, or to go public with your displeasure. <A> I've faced this situation myself. <S> For every edit EXCEPT the added paragraph that tells the reader what to think, that's something that can and does happen, and you should accept it. <S> An editor's job isn't to add content most of the time, it's to make sure the writing is correct and has clarity. <S> I once did an article on a particular art collection, and my editor sent it to the art collectors themselves, to ensure accuracy. <S> It was accurate, but they didn't like the focus I put on the collector that I had interviewed-- <S> they completely re-wrote it, and sent it back to my editor. <S> That's what he ran. <S> I didn't get emotional or anything, I just asked that my name be taken off because basically, it wasn't my work any more. <S> I still got paid, because I had put in the work, but I did make it clear that it wasn't a standard of editing <S> I would ever put my name on. <S> Not a bad piece, really, but it wasn't mine anymore. <S> Editors are used to whiny, delicate flower writers who balk at any suggestion that their writing could be improved. <S> Mostly, I accept edits, even when they are broader than I'd like. <S> I still have a good relationship with this publication and this editor because I don't generally get my knickers in a twist about editing unless the edit adds inaccuracies (which can sometimes happen, grammatically and factually). <S> But once a work is nearly unrecognizable as my own or the driving premise of it has been changed by the editor, that's where I draw the line. <S> So--my advice to you is this--don't nitpick about all the edits. <S> Mention generally that your voice in the article was changed, but that the concluding paragraph, which you did not write at all, changes the intent of the article drastically enough that you would like your name removed. <S> That you intended for the reader to draw their own conclusions rather than telling them what to think. <S> Offer to give them an online replacement for it <S> that's a compromise. <S> Be brief, above all, and leave them your phone number of they should like to speak with you about it. <S> There is more you can bring to bear if they don't respond the way you had hoped, but it might open a conversation.

Just state that the edits changed your work so much that you no longer wish to be credited with it, and ask if they would be willing to replace the digital version of the article with a less heavily edited version, or at least remove your name from it.

How to differentiate narration and thoughts in the first person POV? I am writing a first-person story, and I am having trouble showing the difference between narration and the thoughts of the character. To expand on this: I mean to separate the thought of the character in the moment. Not at the time the narrator is talking. <Q> You don't necessarily need to distinguish the two. <S> If you write, for example, Dan stared out of the window of the classroom. <S> A green park spread outside. <S> Tulips and Hyacinths were in full bloom. <S> Inside, the teacher droned on about something. <S> You are both narrating the setting (classroom, spring), and showing the character's boredom and desire to be outside. <A> I'm not entirely sure what you mean, but I'll interpret it as distinguishing between thoughts of the first-person narrator as character when the story happened, and the thoughts of the narrator when narrating it. <S> This concept in my opinion only makes sense if the the narrator tells the story in the past tense, as telling in the present tense implies that the events of the story are happening right as they are told, and therefore the thoughts during narration are the thoughts during the events of the story. <S> Thoughts the narrator has during narration are present thoughts, and therefore are told in present tense. <S> For example: The door opened, and a man came in. <S> I thought it was Tom. <S> Here the character, when seeing the door open, was of the opinion that the man entering the room was Tom (and the formulation suggests that it turned out not to be Tom). <S> The door opened, and a man came in. <S> I think it was Tom. <S> Here the narrator thinks the person who came in back then was Tom, but is not sure. <S> There's no indication that at the time the story happened <S> , the identity of the person entering was unclear; it's the narrator's memory that's failing. <A> So, between what my high school creative writing teacher told me was the norm, and what I've been doing personally, I recommend using normal text for narration, and italics for thoughts. <S> In a story I'm writing, I have the main character is retelling the story and someone is writing it down. <S> (And since most stories are written in past tense, this should apply for your format). <S> Most of the text is narration from this "future" perspective, and is formatted as normal text, but in some cases the character/me (the author), also shares their thoughts, from that exact time, and I signify that with italics. <S> Paragraph from said story. <S> Then the door started to slowly open. <S> Holy crap! <S> I thought, This is crazy! <S> Where the hell did the door come from? <S> Of course the door could have just been my imagination. <S> In that other world, I had always been having weird dreams, and strange imaginings of magic and of another world. <S> It reminded me of the doorway to Narnia, or was that a wardrobe? <S> I can’t remember anymore. <S> But then I remembered, Narnia, is just a story, fake, not real.

For first-person past tense, it is easy to make the distinction, by using the appropriate tense: Thoughts the character had back then are past thoughts, and therefore are told in past tense.

Sizing of a chapter and how many should I use? This is basically a follow-up question I asked here: Scene switching and how to do it? I always considered it normal for a chapter to have between 3000 and 5000 words.And people around here thought so too: What is a normal length for a chapter? But the comments I got from my "Scene switching" question recommended way smaller amounts. I tried looking for a different approach which is read on here: When should a chapter end? The answer I liked most was of "Lauren Ipsum". But it seems outdated? All this raises some questions. What is the deal with chapter sizes?How many should I use? Should I be consistent in sizing?Wouldn't variable sizing be annoying to readers? <Q> If you think of a scene, it is a smaller scale for chapters. <S> A book contains many chapters, that contains some scenes. <S> The scale for scenes should be smaller than 3000-5000 words, cause in sum, they should make a chapter of 3000-5000 words. <S> My personal opinion on chapters is: If you need them, then use them . <S> Nothing is more annoying in reading, as to think "Wow, that was a pretty abrupt ending of the chapter" cause the author had a word count for a chapter. <S> There is no need for a special amount of words. <S> You could write a whole book without a chapter. <S> You could write a book with 80 chapters. <S> That depends all on your style and the way you write. <S> If your book comes in several parts with multiple story arcs and persons, then chapters could be useful. <S> But remember: It always depends on what you're comfortable with <A> A chapter can be long or short, it can be longer or shorter than other chapters in your novel, you might have a novel with no chapters at all. <S> Think of it this way <S> : a sentence isn't defined as 5-10 words. <S> It is as long as it needs to be to express a small idea. <S> Not letting it run over three lines is a sort of useful guideline, but sometimes you might ignore that guideline, and other times you have a sentence consisting of one word only. <S> Same with paragraphs - some are longer, some are shorter. <S> You end a paragraph when you move to a new idea. <S> And it is the same with chapters: a chapter can be one page long, it can be one word long (though that extreme is rather rare). <S> Or it can be 40 pages. <S> When you move to a new place/time/character/idea/whatever, it might be a good idea to start a new chapter. <S> It's an indicator to the reader that there's a "full stop" here. <S> So you end a chapter where you want that "full stop". <A> Chapter length is a stylist choice <S> There is no correct answer to this. <S> How you use them can effect the tone of your writing as well as the readability. <S> However what is 'best' is entirely up to you. <S> Chapter length can be used to control the pacing of your work. <S> A longer chapter gives a slowly pace while short chapters drive the plot more quickly. <S> Some authors change the length of their chapters throughout the novel to control the pacing of the story. <S> This article <S> How long should a chapter be? <S> analyses the average chapter length of popular works and find the most common length is between 3000 and 5000 words, but Holes <S> averages just 942 words per chapter and One Hundred Years of Solitude <S> averages 7226 words. <S> Instead let the feel and pacing of the story determine where and how your chapter end.

The length of the chapters in any given book is entirely dependant on writing style. Ultimately word count shouldn't be the driving force behind chapter length.

Positive Transformation in the Arc of a Story I'm writing a novel about an obsessive character who is bothering the people around him but just will not or cannot accept that a change must come. When is the most effective time (or if not - the normally accepted time) in the arc of a story to forcibly kill off the ego of the character (in the first third, second or last third part of the tale) in order for a phoenix type resurrection of the character as a more balanced person to occur? <Q> It depends. <S> How much do you have to tell about the MC after he undergoes this transformation? <S> Is this the main conflict of your story, or merely something that impedes the MC from dealing with the main conflict? <S> Basically, smooth sailing is boring. <S> If that's the main conflict, then after the "transformation", you've only got the resolution, so perforce it would have to be late. <S> If the "transformation" itself is a lengthy process with complications, you can have it early. <A> Generally, the conflict is resolved in the third act. <S> Acts end with (effectively for the story and characters) an irrevocable something, a decision, an act taken, words spoken, event transpiring, etc. <S> That is not to say this must be the final sentence of a chapter, there can be ramifications or consequences described, but that is the end of the act. <S> In your story, the "phoenix rising" sounds like the final bit of ACT III, generally the last 5% of the total story length. <S> ACT II would likely end with the irrevocable event that instigates this "killing off" of the ego, and thus leads into ACT III. <S> ACT III would begin with the consequences, what to do next, and the denouement would be the re-assembly of the ego, accomplished in the last 5%, leaving enough room to show the reader the irrevocably changed person going forward. <S> Although many people write their stories to fit the 3-act structure religiously, I don't recommend that. <S> They are derived from actual highly successful novels and stories, and as such are descriptive statistics: The % are, on average, how highly successful stories happen to be plotted. <S> But averages don't tell us everything; <S> as the aphorism goes: Freeze one hand in a bucket 35F water, and the other in a bucket of 160F water, and on average you're not uncomfortable. <S> As descriptive statistics, you can use them to see when you are straying terribly far from the norm; more than 10% perhaps is either stretching the reader's patience (boring them) or rushing the tale too much (confusing them). <S> And of course good books can range from 60,000 words to 700,000 words (but the reader has an idea of what to expect from the # pages or heft of the book). <A> The position of the climax varies to much. <S> I used to graph the rising action of everything I read or watched looking for patterns. <S> It didn't really tell me much (except that on a lot of TV shows the climax is at minute 42, right before the last commercial break.) <S> It varies to much based on the book and the way the story is told (written versus tv versus movie etc). <S> Some books the climax is the second to last chapter (think the first Harry Potter book) <S> sometimes it's a hundred plus pages from the end (think Lord of the Rings, there is a lot post 'the ring is destroyed, the world is saved'). <S> If the climax is the destruction of your character's ego, this probably happens towards the end. <S> If it is merely the instigator for the larger arc, probably ends Act 1. <S> (If it's the second, I recommend reading about the Hero's Journey). <S> So ask yourself, how much of the story needs to happen before the event and how much after? <S> This will dictate when it happens.

The end of the LAST Act (ACT III in the 3-act structure, ACT IV in Freytag's four act structure, ACT V in Shakespeare's 5 act structure, etc) is the resolution of the story. If there's more conflict for your character after this arc has been addressed, you can have the "transformation" early.

Fiction writing or creative writing? I'd like to take a writing course, and I'm just a little lost on what course to take and need some guidance. Is a creative writing course worth taking before taking a fiction writing course? I have experience with writing, but I've never taken any courses, I've only just written for fun. Can anyone offer some advice? <Q> Let's say one course is set up to foster your growth as a writer through peer-led exercises, solo and group projects, presentation of work, and taught by a supportive teacher. <S> Let's say the second course is more dry, a tired instructor, a few homework assignments - exams - even surveys of literature <S> - <S> Then I'd suggest the first, interactive course, regardless of whether it is creative writing or fiction writing. <S> Take a look at the course listings. <S> See if there are prerequisites for either of them. <S> See who teaches the courses and the class size. <S> Get a sense of each teacher (and class management styles, etc) on any of the online rating sites that look at this sort of thing. <S> these things might help you decide. <S> Your choice might even boil down to the time of day that a course is taught. <S> All else being equal? <S> In that case, it truly will depend on your heart. <S> You might be able to find students who have taken each course you are looking at to give you some feedback about them. <A> Take them all, even if they are the same course if they are taught by different teachers you'll learn different things from each experience. <S> For example, the community college <S> I finished my associates of arts degree offered three creative writing classes <S> but each teacher took it in a different direction. <S> I have 'creative non-fiction' 'micro-fiction' and 'creative writing.' <S> All were listed in the catalog as just creative writing classes. <S> In the first I learned how to write biographies the way people actually write them (who knew you could change so much and still call it non-fiction?). <S> The second was how to write complete stories in 500-1000 words. <S> The third had some poetry in it. <S> When I went to the university to complete my bachelor's degree, the classes again were all called creative writing but were in sequence and though they were supposed to follow a trend overall, each teacher made it their own and so the first and second class in sequence felt identical but for the specific works we read and the third was completely different. <S> I learned important things from each. <A> If you can afford the courses, take them both, but to really further your writing tuition, I would try to find courses that are classroom based. <S> The reason I say that is because studying creative writing or fiction writing one-to-one is nowhere near as effective as studying as part of a group. <S> There is little an online course <S> can teach you that you will not be able to learn from books. <S> And a tutor who feeds back on your work is only one person. <S> Writing is very subjective and the point of view of one person is going to be very limited. <S> The other BIG advantage to classroom-based courses is that you will meet other writers and you’ll probably find that the formation of relationships with other writers will be far more beneficial to your long-term success than anything you study alone online. <S> I’m not saying don’t take them. <S> But I can tell you from experience that I learned far more from actually writing and submitting my first novel (while reading dozens and dozens of books on the craft) than I learned from three years of classroom study at university. <S> However, what I did get from the classroom was a group of dedicated writers who are now my beta readers and who also offer emotional support when things get tough (which they inevitably do in this business). <S> So, I would say, if funds are limited, invest them in classes where you get to meet other writers, not online. <S> Good luck!

It will depend on what you personally need, but I'd say the teacher and class organization may be more important than the subject.

Do I have to capitalize ESP in sci fi fiction sentences? Some of my fiction sci fi characters are ESP sensitive and the term is used a lot. Capitalized ESP stands out in my sentences like yelling so I am using esp,lower case. Is that acceptable? Will a potential publisher object filing my novel in the trash? <Q> ESP stands for "Extrasensory Perception". <S> It is an abbreviation. <S> The correct way to write it is therefore in All Caps: ESP, similar to how one writes NASA, USA and DNA. <S> A potential publisher wouldn't trash your novel for a capitalisation error, but it is quite possible they wouldn't understand what you mean by 'esp', similar to how one might look at a misspelt word, and be unable to figure out what it was supposed to be. <A> One way around this problem is to come up with a term that people would use in every day usage to refer to someone with this ability. <S> This happens all the time in science fiction and fantasy (and, it should be said, in real life). <S> Alfred Bester, Isaac Asimov, and Robert A. Heinlein used to refer to Espers for people with ESP powers, and I think Phillip K. Dick used the term "teeps" for people with telepathic powers in "The Hood Maker" ... <S> there are many examples to draw from. <A> Another possibility is to "reclaim" the abbreviation and turn it into a noun or verb. <S> This would allow you to use lowercase in particular sentences. <S> For instance, the group of espers was adept at esping other people. <S> (I know I've read science fiction stories where the lowercase espers was used.) <A> If it is referred to as "ESP" specifically, it should be capitalized. <S> Reading "esp" lowercase feels like reading a shortened "especially" in a text message. <S> But you might avoid an overabundance of ESPs by allowing the narrator and/or characters to call it something else, especially if there are many of them that have it. <S> They might have "powers," a "sixth sense," "radar," or use another story-specific noun/verb like "esper" (pronounced ess-purr) as mentioned in other answers, to refer to ESP or those with ESP in the story. <S> You could even use the context of your sci-fi world to avoid "ESP"... <S> if there's an invented language, name it in that, translate it once, and use your name from then on. <S> Or, the history of a discovery or technology that explained or enabled the individuals with ESP might be discussed, and from its name derived another for the phenomenon itself.

As stated in the other answer, ESP should be in all caps.

Is it possible to learn to write a paragraph? I will explain my question here. Please, help a fellow writer. I am doing a PhD and my supervisor is telling me that I do not know how to write. I have read many books on academic writing, but somehow I cannot make my writing better. I wrote many many pages, but nothing "is worth saving for the dissertation"(her words). I wish I could write one good paragraph and from there I would be able to write others. I have been studying sentences, paragraphs, essays etc... but I do not know how to put these elements together properly. I was so happy about writing. I could write all day long. I did not have any problems with "what to write" about until I started working with this professor. Now the thought of writing makes me sick. I want to improve and do something about it. Yet, nothing seems to work and my supervisor is always humiliating me. In a sense, I cannot complain about it with my department because she is right about my writing and they may want to let me go. I have no clue what I should do next. My field is philosophy. In this field, I really need to write well and it is what I want the most. Thank you so much. <Q> This has nothing to do with writing a "perfect" paragraph, or even with your writing skills in general . <S> It is about the specific requirements of your chosen field, academic philosophy --which is a unique form of writing. <S> Therefore, please let go of your sense that this is a referendum on either you or your writing skills, and don't let it ruin your enjoyment of ordinary writing. <S> There are many writers acclaimed in the world of academic philosophy <S> could absolutely who could never write a single sentence that would interest a mainstream audience (and, vice versa ). <S> It is also the case that philosophers are highly opinionated, and take their opinions as definitive, even when they are idiosyncratic. <S> This means that what your supervisor is really asking is for you to write like she does , which may or may not be like anyone else in philosophy writes. <S> That does not mean she is wrong or that you don't have to do it, but understand that you are matching a particular person's tastes, not meeting a universal standard. <S> Given that, you want to avoid experiencing this as a general critique, and look for specifics. <S> The usual asks for a philosophical piece have to do with overall structure and general intellectual rigor, not the details of the expression. <S> If, however, you feel confident this is about the details of your writing, then you need to go to your supervisor directly and ask her to take you through an excerpt of your writing and demonstrate exactly what is wrong and how it needs to be changed. <S> Don't expect to agree with her changes , just learn the pattern behind them and how to follow it. <S> I think you'll find that the real problem is not that you can't write <S> , it's that you're having trouble suppressing your own instincts in favor of hers. <S> Just understand it's nothing more than a hoop you have to jump through, and you'll feel better about it. <A> Can you tell us the field? <S> I suggest patterning off an established work you wish to emulate. <S> Engage the analytical part of your mind. <S> For example, if I were to pattern off your question I would write something with an opening and closing sentence. <S> There would be four points within the body: big picture, personal goal, back story, and reiteration of personal goal. <S> It is not uncommon for academics to be poor managers. <S> Academics have very few requirements (and no training or education beforehand) when it comes to personnel. <S> Your situation is not unusual - take heart. <S> You'll survive. <S> My first paper was horrific. <S> I did not pattern off anything. <S> I tried to free write it, bad idea. <S> I learned. <S> You will learn, I promise. <S> Do not try to reinvent the wheel - Find something written by your advisor (or similar) and break it down, then apply your knowledge of your work to that structure. <A> Create a summary of what you intend to write, formatted as a series of nested bullet points. <S> The deepest bullet points are "single ideas" you can turn into a paragraph. <S> When you do so, try to make the paragraph's topic especially clear in the first and last sentence, and use the rest to defend or develop what you're saying. <S> Since you're doing philosophy. <S> some paragraphs will summarise existing literature, some will make clear what you offer that's new, some will offer arguments and counterarguments, and so on; make sure you know what kind of paragraph each one is. <A> You have structured a well-worded question here <S> and I imagine you put a lot more energy and effort into the writing of your dissertation, so I find it hard to believe that your writing is so bad that not one single paragraph is 'worth saving'. <S> We see some shockingly-written questions on here and <S> this isn't one of them. <S> I'm going to assume that if you've studied essay writing and understand the structure of dissertations, that you're following that structure with thesis statements, topic sentences, concluding statements and so on, and that the problem is not with structure but the writing itself. <S> In which case, there are two possibilities here: <S> She is right and your writing is terrible. <S> In which case, find someone you trust who has already completed a philosophy PhD with outstanding marks and get them to read your work and provide brutally honest feedback on what's wrong with your writing style (and perhaps structure). <S> If they will work with you, you can learn from that feedback and not make the same mistakes again. <S> It seems to me that she is not going to help you get better (and I question what use she is as a supervisor in that case) <S> so you need to find someone who will. <S> There's nothing wrong with your writing <S> and she has it in for you. <S> In which case, it's a bit underhanded, but you could get the same trusted colleague to rewrite a few of your pages and submit those to her as if it's your work. <S> If she still says it's terrible, you'll know the problem isn't with your writing, it's with her. <S> Remember, the bad stuff is easier to believe, but it's not necessarily true. <S> The fact that she isn't helping you and has driven you to the point where even the idea of writing makes you feel sick, suggests to me that she should not be a PhD supervisor and that's where the problem lies. <S> But you need to know the truth: is your writing terrible or is she terrible? <S> Option 2 is underhanded but it will get you straight to the heart of the matter.

Perhaps one of your advisor's works - take that and pattern (not copy) from it.

How does one go about describing someone doing Naruto like hand symbols? Like how do I describe if someone is doing symbols with their hands like this? I want to describe specific hand formation but that seems like it’ll be a whole paragraph just for one second of saying that his hands are doing a symbol. <Q> I feel like your question is a bit too specific, so my answer is going to be a little more generic. <S> When describing something with very fine detail <S> it's easy to provide too much information and lose the reader, because we often think too visually and not enough about story . <S> He brought his hands together, fingers flat at first, then lowered all but his middle and little fingers, bent slightly at the knuckles, pointing upwards, forming a symbol. <S> Then the next symbol, he rose his index, dropped his little finger and put his palms together. <S> The next... Reads quite badly, because we don't really care how his hands are shaped exactly, but as a reader, we care about the results . <S> When we read, we interpret things through our own lenses. <S> When we watch anime, we see the pictures as they're drawn. <S> It's a good idea to embrace the fuzziness of writing , not to try and paint with your words as precisely as a picture on a screen. <S> He brought his hands together, his fingers pointed out like a beak, forming the ninja sign for bird. <S> Then, the symbol for ram - palms together, index and middle fingers pointed high, focusing on that point, focusing his chakra there until his fingers burned and his breath caught in his throat... <S> In this second one I barely bothered describing the symbols. <S> Some readers will imagine the bird sign very differently to others. <S> Think about why your character is doing these things and what the result is . <S> If someone wants to imagine the thumbs spread like wings for the bird, let them. <S> What damage does that do to your story? <S> If you must define it in a way that fans can say is right or wrong, add it in an appendix at the back, where diagrams are wanted and expected. <S> Bogging down your prose with those details will not only upset the flow, readers will not imagine it precisely the way you want them to <S> no matter how much you describe it. <A> I don't know what "Naruto-like hand symbols" are, but from the context of the question, I am going to assume they are some kind of complex hand gestures used to cast spells (or something similar). <S> So let us proceed from there. <S> Firs thing you need to ask yourself is: do you need to describe each particular gesture combination ? <S> Do the specific movements further your plot? <S> You could, for instance, establish that spells are cast by means of complex hand waving, and proceed from there. <S> This need not be boring: each set could be "like a dance", or "like a karate master going through a series of katas", etc. <S> The important thing is, instead of talking of specific "spells", you establish the whole form. <S> Having established the form, you want more specifics? <S> Like katas or asanas or pas have names. <S> Again, having established the form, the reader doesn't need to know specifically which hand goes where at what time - give a general image, and the reader will fill in the blanks. <S> You want to establish that some symbols are complicated, require precision, etc.? <S> You can talk about training. <S> You can mention an incorrectly positioned finger causing the spell to go wrong (or do nothing at all). <S> You can mention a character being "unable to bend his arm into that angle", or hurting themselves through bad technique, or just being physically tired afterwards. <S> Again, let the reader fill in the blanks, create their own image in their minds. <S> Seeing a well-executed sequence of movements on screen is awesome - <S> it's like a dance <S> , it has aesthetics, it has impact. <S> Reading about a series of movements is boring: it's a dry list of hands going from one position to another. <S> It takes far longer to read about a movement than to do it, so everything feels in "slow motion". <S> And worst of all, most readers are not proficient in dance or martial arts, so it would be far too easy for them to lose track of what's going on. <S> When a reader loses track of what's going on, they become bored. <S> And that's the one thing you want to avoid at all costs. <A> Just spent some time reading up on Naruto. <S> It seems that they are gestures that Ninjas can use to summon certain types of energy in combat. <S> I think therefore the signs should not really be the focus of any description. <S> Additionally, I think that practically, a skilled Ninja would be using them so rapidly that they would be a meaningless blur to the casual bystander (aka reader). <S> Instead focus on describing the effects of the Naruto-like gestures. <S> This could be in terms of a description of the energy flow, the effect it has on the intended target or, better, both. <S> Once you break it out like that, a description of fingers and hands is replaced by one of energy and effect, which becomes much like describing any interaction between two bodies. <A> I am going to expand on a part of Galastel's answer. <S> Robert Jordan managed to abstract a whole fighting style by stamina stances and moves words. <S> He would write something like "He shifted from Parting the Wave to Charging Bull.." <S> We do not know what those things mean exactly, but we can get aa mental image. <S> With hand gestures <S> this is a hundred times easier. <S> Considering that in Naruto they are pretty much spell casting and not fighting the movements just have some meaning. <S> You can simply write "He made the symbols: serpent, rain, death with his fingers, as fire erupted all around" The reader will get the mental image that you are looking for.

You can give the symbols names .

What would you say is the best way to get a self published book popularized without making a blog? I feel like a new blog would be too hard to gain attention to because for me I don’t especially love talking about writing that much even though I love to write so I just wanted to know if they’re were any better ways to get people interested in your book ( the books not done yet I’m just preparing for the future ) <Q> Frankly, I think every self-published author, and probably most traditionally-published authors, would like to know the answer to that. <S> If there was an easy answer, we'd all be doing it. <S> I've self-published three books and have my fourth in the works. <S> I've tried blogging on Facebook. <S> I put many hours into it. <S> As far as I can tell it generated zero sales. <S> Or maybe a handful that got lost in the random statistical noise. <S> I tried sending out press releases. <S> For my first book this did a little. <S> For my next two, it looked like nothing. <S> I've tried advertising on web sites. <S> Little or nothing. <S> One particular magazine proved very good for me. <S> That's been my main source of sales. <S> Other magazines, little or nothing. <S> I get some random sales just by being on Amazon. <S> My books are non-fiction <S> so what works for me may be very different from what works for fiction writers. <A> I’ve thought about this a lot. <S> I’ve read about this a lot as well. <S> I’m in the same boat as you- <S> ‘Yes’ to writing a successful and popular book. <S> ‘No’ to blogging. <S> The answer? <S> Social media. <S> Find an outlet that you like (I like Pinterest and Tumblr, <S> you might like Facebook or Twitter...whatever), and spend time on it. <S> Don’t push your book (ex: <S> Buy my book). <S> Nobody likes that, and the chances they will buy your book are slim. <S> Instead be a voice on that platform, like what I’m doing right now. <S> I’m answering your question, I’m adding my voice to this platform. <S> So let’s say you like Instagram, how about taking pictures of your current reads? <S> Maybe give a mini review, post pics of anything literary (ex. vintage pics of celebs reading or writing), have fun with the platform. <S> Take your time. <S> Earn your potential readers trust. <S> Then once your book comes out, give it a little shout-out like, “so excited! <S> My book is finally out!! <S> Ahh!” <S> Link the book, if you can hyper-link it within a key word like “book” and leave it at that. <S> This is what they call “pull marketing” you are teasing possible buyers to take a further look (the link). <S> I hope this helps and Good luck! <S> More on the topic of the Author Platform: http://www.pinterest.com/zooey81/writing-platform <A> Robert's answer gets to the heart of the advice I would give, both from my own experience, and from observing some highly successful self-publishers. <S> SELF-PUBLISHING SUCCESS = SALESPERSONSHIP. <S> Once you publish your book, it becomes a product, and you have to commit to selling it like any other salesperson sells any other product. <S> In my experience, the most successful self-publishers unite their book with a public-speaking career of one sort or another. <S> Children's authors do school visits. <S> Non-fiction authors do lectures and workshops. <S> " events (which must be advertised to be successful!). <S> The sales happen at the back of the room on tables piled high with books (just like musicians support themselves selling CDs and posters after a concert). <S> In this way, the book both legitimizes the public speaker as an expert, and also serves as an important supplemental revenue stream. <S> Be aware, however, that after you've exhausted your local area sales, this is going to require constant touring (just like a band would do). <S> I would also add that local press can be a great avenue for publicity. <S> But it is less likely to lead to direct sales than for attendance at your book-themed events (see above) which in turn leads to sales. <A> Fill your boot (trunk if you're not in the UK) or rucksack with copies of your book and take to the streets. <S> Knock on people's doors and tell them what a fine book you have published. <S> Start on your own street and tell them that you live just down the way; explain what you've done, tell them how hard it is for authors to make sales and, basically, appeal to their neighbourly spirit. <S> Then spiral out from your home through the streets of your neighbourhood knocking on doors as you go. <S> Make a note of who is in and who is not and revisit (at a different time of day) houses you couldn't raise a response from. <S> love that stuff. <S> Whenever you come across a local community centre - pop in and find out when they are running meetings - and then ask if you can have a ten-minute slot to talk about your book - and make sure you take a big box of copies with you. <S> Oh, and don't forget your family and friends. <S> Make sure that everyone has a copy of your book (paid for or otherwise) and they know how to get hold of you to get more copies <S> (this applies to the people you sell to at the door too). <S> Never underestimate the power of word-of-mouth. <S> Of course, for this strategy to work (especially the referrals <S> ) it will help if you have a quality piece of work. <S> It might also help if part of the book is set in, or mentions, the local area. <S> Good luck with your book sales and new-found wealth.

Adult fiction authors have a tougher road, but they can do public readings, book-signings and "meet the author Emphasise that you are a local author - people I've tried advertising in print magazines.

Editing tools on the go I've just started editing my novel. For the drafting I had done most of the work on a phone, as I wanted to make the most of the daily commute. This worked well enough and the first rough draft is done. However, I'm finding the same approach just isn't as strong for editing as it's not easy to highlight and remove words or find things quickly on a phone. Does a portable computer exist that would be up to the task? A tiny laptop could work but I currently commute by bus (not train) so there isn't exactly a table or other surface I could rest a computer on. My other option is just working weekends, but I'd rather avoid this if possible. Can any writers recommend any suitable tools? If not, how did you keep productive during the editing stage? <Q> Typing on a laptop on your lap on a bus is always going to be difficult no matter what you buy. <S> But maybe you don’t need a laptop: <S> I find it really helps if I edit my work in a completely different format to the one I wrote it in. <S> If the work looks completely different <S> I’m less likely to be blinded by the familiarity of my own words. <S> I read somewhere that when you look at your MS on a computer in a neat font, it gives the impression that the work is perfect and it’s harder to see problems when it already looks polished. <S> So, what I do is change the font to something really gritty, like American Typewriter and print it out. <S> I use editing marks for changes (these are easy to learn from any good editing book like the Wiley Style Manual) and then transfer them from paper to laptop later. <S> It may seem like a waste of time to use paper and have to transfer the edits, but what you end up with is actually a third draft, because you naturally edit/reword again as you implement those changes. <S> If you don’t have a printer or feel it’s too much to print out, you could invest in a tablet and a stylus. <S> I edit like this sometimes too with an iPad and a Jot Touch. <S> But you still need to transfer the edits to the computer later. <S> It will be difficult on a bus, but I think reading your work aloud is essential. <S> It is only through reading aloud that you can isolate difficult to read sentences/paragraphs and really get a feel for your voice and the musicality of your words. <S> Maybe you could sit at the back where it’s quiet and whisper it to yourself!! <S> Good luck! <A> For the hardware aspect of the question, you may try a tablet. <S> So you'll get a wider surface to edit your text, without the need of a table. <S> Mouse and keyboard will still missing, but at least, editing should be easier. <S> But you may prefer a tiny laptop on your knees. <S> For the software part, I suggest LiteWrite . <S> Beautiful on desktop as well as on phone, tiny, no distraction, data ubiquity, it let you choose your cloud provider (GoogledDrive, DropBox or RemoteStorage ). <S> For a long work, I recommend you to split your text in many documents with a clever naming convention, so you could rely on the search ability of LiteWrite to quickly switch between parts. <S> If no solution suits you, remember you can always use pen and paper, and type your work at home. <S> Well, it may not be more comfortable. <S> A clipboard folder on your knees may help. <A> I'm in the same situation. <S> I've resorted to creating a copy of draft 1 that can be annotated but not otherwise edited, e.g. a PDF in Google Drive. <S> Such files are easy to edit. <S> Highlighting isn't so feasible in GD, although I have a friend who finds Edge very helpful for that. <S> (Phones vary in whether they can take advantage of this.) <S> I use the commute to read the work, decide what changes to make to a given page, then write instructions to myself as an annotation. <S> When I have time at my laptop at home <S> and I'm not exhausted, e.g. at the weekend, I see how long it takes to obey the instructions for a chapter, and then see whether I have the energy for another. <S> You'll get through individual changes much faster during "round 2", so it won't necessarily eat up the weekend. <S> Try it, see if it works. <A> Tablet, with tablet pen is the best mark up tool, period. <S> However, turning a marked up document into a new draft needs two panels and that won't ever work well in transit. <S> You're going to need to find time outside of your commute for revision & editing, but you can reduce the task load. <A> If you are the kind of person who may be discouraging by that, you can get a wired or Bluetooth portable keyboard. <S> a tablet + <S> accessories setup will be more fiddly than a laptop. <S> With a laptop, you will only have one device that you will have to remember to carry and keep charged. <S> With a tablet and keyboard, you will have to keep two charged, and connect/disconnect them occasionally. <S> If you choose a laptop: they are more tempting to leave behind unattended because of their weight, "just this once, for only a minute". <S> That can get them stolen more easily than with a tablet, which you can train yourself to pick up whenever you leave the room.

Print your draft, edit it with pen on the go. To add to what others have said: If you choose a tablet: the touchscreen keyboard will be much less ergonomic compared to a real laptop.

What software can I use to synchronize corrections and modifications over similar documents? I'm currently working on a large thesis, from which I derive some smaller publications such as papers. The work is in parallel. Often it happens that I copy some paragraphs from the thesis into a paper. Then I work on the paper, rewriting and reorganizing some of the copied text. When I work on the thesis again, I might want to integrate some of those changes. Of course this is a tedious process, because one has to compare sentence by sentence, in two texts that might be organized and structured very differently. I'm looking for a software tool that can automatically find corresponding sentences in two texts and synchronize them forth and back, probably with me in the loop confirming each modification. <Q> It can compare two text documents, highlight similar lines and lines that are slightly different <S> and it allows you to quickly choose which version to keep on a line by line basis. <S> If you want to automate this process and also keep history and be able to switch between different versions and choose what to merge - use version control systems like SVN or git . <S> (And you may also want some GUI for them like TortoiseSVN / <S> TortoiseGit or SourceTree ) <S> This software merges files automatically in the most obvious cases (i.e. in one version you added a new sentence at line 8 and in the other version you deleted a paragraph at line 18 - the software will keep both changes) and prompts you to merge manually if there is some ambiguity (you edited the same line in both versions). <S> Here is my personal favourite tutorial on git: https://www.atlassian.com/git <S> It is a little geared towards using online hosting ( GitHub / GitLab / BitBucket /...) which you may or may not need. <S> But it does a good job explaining different git workflows. <A> I can imagine a process where you: <S> Convert all of your current documents to separate markdowns in plain markdown text <S> Identify the components you wish to keep the same between documents Create separate objects containing each piece of text you wish to synchronize <S> Insert those objects into each of the separate documents <S> This creates one place where each piece of text "lives", allowing for simultaneous editing of the documents by editing the text in that one object. <S> The pros include flexibility in what counts as a "similar sentence" and complete control of what is synchronized and when. <S> However, this could get very messy with what you define as an object. <S> It would take a fair amount of effort to maintain a coherent structure using this approach. <S> EDIT: <S> I mistakenly posted that you cannot spellcheck in markdown. <S> This post tells how to perform spellchecking in markdown. <A> Lyx have some subdocuments abilities that may help. <S> But you'll have to port your work in this new environment and it may not suits your other needs. <S> Nevertheless, it is one of my favorite writing tools.

WinMerge can help you manually merge documents. You might consider using R-Markdown.

'for example' and 'e.g.' in a thesis I'm writing a thesis in English (I'm not a native speaker) and I suddenly wondered: should I use 'for example' or 'e.g.'? should try to completely avoid both? There are no university specific recommendations for it afaik and other thesis in my department differ greatly from each other (don't get me wrong - this makes total sense to me as it is probably one of the least significant things :D). I saw theses with only for example / mostly e.g. / neither of those terms. I like the example of the usage from here , especially this part: Please note that when submitting essays or theses to universities in Australia, it is preferred that you only use e.g. within parentheses, such as in the following examples: ‘Many people thought that John had a large collection of classic cars, (e.g., a Rolls Royce Phantom, a Phaeton and an MG), which he kept in a large warehouse.’ ‘Joan had errors in her essay (e.g., no commas).’ And then they add: Otherwise, it is preferable for you to use ‘for example’ rather than ‘e.g.’ But that's where new questions arise: How to exactly use 'for example' then? Based on what can I decide if I should choose one or the other? Is this only specific for Australian- or other English universities too? And here a few actual sentences from my thesis: Other XML tags for visual components, collision objects and more configurations can also be defined. For example: using the <visual> tag the model can be graphically displayed. Including other files, which enables model files to be created as reusable modules, e.g., for loading different robot models into the same environment. It can display model files and data from topics, e.g., camera data. <Q> The abbreviation is fairly common in "advanced" writing, like theses, in my experience. <S> However, it's an other-language abbreviation, so it's a small hurdle for some. <S> Might your thesis have readers who are less advanced? <S> Might some of them be weaker with English than you are? <S> Might your thesis ever be translated, either wholly or by people pasting bits into Google Translate? <S> Because of these considerations, some writers, editors, and departments avoid using any of the Latin abbreviations (e.g., i.e., ibid.). <S> It is not wrong to use "for example" instead, and your work will be slightly more accessible if you use that instead of "e.g.". <S> Either way, the phrase is not limited to parenthetical expressions. <A> They mean exactly the same thing. <S> You should, however (according to Strunk), place e.g. inside a pair of commas, e.g., here. <A> I can find nothing to indicate that e.g. (or 'for example') should be left out of a thesis, or any other body of writing. <S> If you do, however, want to use a different indicator then 'such as' is a good, formal alternative. <S> It is possible to use 'like' in some contexts, but this is a more informal mode of expression and should probably not be used in a thesis. <S> The examples you provided illustrate one good point that you already seem to know. <S> You used e.g. in the middle of a sentence and 'for example' to begin a sentence - well done. <S> Good luck with your thesis.

Outside of cases where you must following a specific manual of style, if the writing is formal, it's up to you. "E.g." is an abbreviation for the Latin "exempli gratia", which means "for example".

Should I use a series of shots for this scene? Should I use a series of shots for this? (context- Joe previously raged in his room - knocking things over) INT. JOE’S ROOM Joe stands up the nightstand. Plugs in the lamp. Takes the alarm clock, pauses, decides to set it. Falls into bed. Is that worthy of a series of shots? I mean, I guess it’s jumping time a little bit... sort of? Is it okay to use a series of shots in a spec? Thanks! <Q> A good screenplay focuses on the prose rather than the technical aspects of film production. <S> Don't include camera direction. <S> Read some screenplays online to get a sense for what you should and shouldn't include. <S> Here, describe the action, just as you did. <A> I would say it's best not to write this as a series of shots. <S> The reason is because whether to break that up into multiple shots is a decision for the director and cameramen to make, not for you. <S> Remember that filmmaking is a collaborative process. <S> Your job as the screenwriter is to provide the "blueprint" that everyone else working on the film can use to make sure they're producing the same story together. <S> But they all have their own expertise and their own creative ideas to bring to the table, as well. <S> As a result, the only things that should go into your script are things that must be included to tell the story. <S> For example, the Doom movie has a one-take shot from a first-person perspective at the film's climax. <S> This shot was designed to look and feel like the experience of playing the Doom video game, so the shot absolutely had to be done that way in order to work for that particular story. <S> I would guess that the screenwriter wrote some camera instructions into that scene. <S> But that is one of extremely few positive examples I can think of. <S> In the overwhelming majority of cases, you're better off leaving room for other members of a production team to make decisions about how a film is shot. <A> You are writing a screenplay , not a " shooting script ". <S> You are selling your ability to tell a story , not trying to direct the film . <S> It's a rookie mistake to micromanage the direction in a screenplay. <S> Your screenplay should be formatted like a script, and read like a script, but leave out any of the fine technical details that aren't absolutely essential to your vision. <S> (You'll also want to avoid micromanaging the actors by being too specific about their actions.) <S> Your version of these instructions will just annoy the people whose actual job is to figure that kind of detail out. <S> There are cases where the shots themselves might be a key piece of the storytelling, but this isn't one of them. <S> If it was, you wouldn't be on the fence about it.

The only time you should specify a series of shots is when the camerawork is essential to telling the story.

Is mild sexualization of minors allowed in writing? Her clothes screamed bohemia, with a prominent cleavage, leather bands running up her arms and nails painted black. In my book there is a romance between two 15-year-olds, and the book is from one of those 15-year-olds' perspective. Here, he describes his romantic interest's clothing style with the above sentence. Now, this is a mild sexualization of the girl, due to the addition of "prominent cleavage". The reason I added this was to illustrate what kind of person this girl is, and also give some reasoning to the guy's infatuation with her. I'm just wondering, is this kind of description acceptable? I'm simply using it to paint a picture of the girl's "edgy" personality, not to appeal to sickos. The book is after all targeted to millenials and teens. <Q> It is absolutely certainly legal for what you describe to appear in literature. <S> Consider, for instance, that Juliet was 14 when she married and had sex with Romeo. <S> A more modern example: Song of Ice and Fire ; Daenerys is 13 when she is married off to Khal Drogo, with their sex receiving multiple descriptions. <S> For a milder example, similar to what you actually want, look at this description from Dresden Files , of a character who is explicitly, only a couple of pages earlier, stated to be a juvenile, and with the first-person narrator being in his 30s: <S> Molly stood facing me in a long, gauzy black skirt, shredded artistically in several places. <S> She wore fishnet tights beneath it, showing more leg and hip than any mother would prefer. <S> The tights, too, were artfully torn in patches to display pale, smooth skin of thigh and calf. <S> She had army-surplus combat boots on her feet, laced up with neon pink and blue laces. <S> She wore a tight tank top, its fabric white, thin, and strained by the curves of her breasts, [..] <S> Bright rings of gold gleamed in both nostrils, her lower lip, and her right eyebrow, and there was a bead of gold in that little dent just under her lower lip. <S> There were miniature barbell-shaped bulges at the tips of her breasts, where the thin fabric emphasized rather than concealed them. <S> I didn’t want to know what else had been pierced. <S> I know I didn’t, because I told myself that very sternly. <S> I didn’t want to know, even if it was, hell, a little intriguing. <S> (Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty , chapter 8) <S> In fact, there's no age rating for literature , like there is for movies or games. <S> So it's not like your story could get "PG13-rated" for what you write. <S> Since real 15-year-old girls do dress in extremely sexualising ways, you are doing nothing but describing the truth. <S> And 15-years-olds, who are perhaps your target audience, are already familiar with sexual attraction, even those who are not yet experienced with anything beyond attraction. <S> In light of all the above not only is what you want to write legal, I also don't see anything remotely wrong with it. <A> Anything other is R-rated maybe suitable for young adults over the age of seventeen, because the content is intense in violence, sexual language and content, as well as display extremely brutal and bloody. <S> I you cross those content characterizations it is considered unrated, pornography, etc. <S> Good luck with your book! <A> Always keep in mind, that the youth isn't so pure and innocent, like 30 years ago. <S> The most teens start their sexual relationships around 13 and 14 (at least in Germany where I live), some earlier, some later. <S> Thoughts about the other sex and sexual desires are part of the human nature. <S> Why denying that? <S> If I may be so blunt: It would be strange to have a story, where no one is having sexual thoughts. <S> Sexual intercourse and thoughts are part of the human nature and especially teens (where the body is overflowing with hormones) have the desire for that. <S> And like the answer from Galastel said: "There's no age rating for literature". <S> So there shouldn't be any problem in writing what you want. <S> Small Edit to my answer: <S> TV-Shows and Movies for teens often tend to go much more into details. <S> So I wouldn't see any problems at all

What you are describing as mild sexualization is PG or teen is generally stating the content being viewed is suitable for ages 13 and up and is basically dependent on adult guardians’ decision as to whether they personally feel the content may contain violence, suggestive themes, crude humor, minimal blood, mild sexual depictions, or infrequent use of strong language.

How to write an online screen name in dialogue? Might be a bit nitpicky - but I really want to get the formatting correct - especially because this is one of the first lines in the script. The screen name is: ArgyleMan29 Like this? JACK:Online I’m ArgyleManTwentyNine. Or JACK:Online I’m Argyle Man Twenty Nine. Or JACK:Online I’m Argyle-Man-Twenty-Nine. Italics? Thanks! <Q> Names should always be written as they actually are. <S> Because they are names, unless of course, the pronunciation of the name or the format makes it difficult for the reader to understand or convey it correctly. <S> In that case, the first time it's used (not in dialogue, but in notes or direction) the pronunciation should be dealt with. <S> ArgyleMan29 would likely be exactly what it would look like on a computer screen. <S> I don't find it difficult to read, especially with the in-capitalization giving the pronunciation clarity. <S> Do not type out the numbers in words. <S> No need for italics <S> , it's a proper name that happens to be online, indicating a person. <S> I have never seen a correct instance where a person's name was italicized--nicknames or screen names, unless to differentiate fonts as a style flair. <S> This is how it should look: <S> JACK: <S> Online I'm ArgyleMan29. <A> As for whether or not to write out numbers in dialogue, that specific topic is covered in this post. <S> The thinking behind this is that people don't say numbers—although, logically, I'm not sure it's clear that people say letters either. <S> But that's a different debate. <S> The short answer is that there is no rule, but there do seem to be common and less common styles. <S> I think that in the case of a screen name that includes text and a number, and which is used repeatedly, there could be little objection to using the number. <S> As a reference, look at the dialogue in the Star Wars script (which I'm assuming is legitimate): LUKEThis R2 unit has a bad motivator. <S> Look! <S> Based on that, and the other answer, I think it would be fine to simply use the screen name exactly as you have it: ArgyleMan29 . <S> As an interesting side note, I found something else in the Star Wars script. <S> The first time that the robots are introduced in direction, their names are given phonetically: <S> An explosion rocks the ship as two robots, Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2) and See-Threepio (C-3PO) struggle to make their way through the shaking, bouncing passageway. <S> I'm not sure if this is common or not. <S> I can't really see it adding value to the director. <S> (Aside, perhaps, from pointing out that it's an <S> oh and not a zero in the latter name.) <A> This is my opinion; the first option, capcase run together, is preferable. <S> But sites vary, some let you use spaces in your name, some won't let you mix cases, etc. <S> Edit: I skimmed over the fact that 29 is not written out in the user name, I agree with Totumus's comment; it should be used as numbers, not written out.

The general consensus seems to be that simple numbers should be written out, and that longer or awkward numbers (such as phone numbers), or numbers used repeatedly, can remain.

How far I should describe an alien invader character that has similar appearance to human? I'm starting to write a sci-fi story where the alien invaders will have slightly similar looks and anatomy as humans. I mean they are still imaginative characters but I wonder how I can develop those characters? Will I need to relate to their original habitat, or focus more on the technology they use? or their more advanced aspects compared to human beings in general? This slightly physical difference of characters between the alien and human will increase the potential for me to write various stories of how they interact with each other as well as the possibility to share particular technology. Focusing on human survival rather than depicting the strange look of aliens all the time in each chapter. <Q> 3 inter-related ideas that might help: Chekov's Gun – a non-sequitor emphasis on any detail may signal to the reader that this will later be important to the plot. <S> Worldbuilding is for writers. <S> Too much can erode the reader's patience and muddy the story. <S> Characters observe things differently, and filter information through their own lens – a Biologist will view physical differences as deterministic ("The aliens have vestigial gills, therefore they are never far from a large body of water."), while a Translator will find insight within the language ("The Aliens have 17 different words for water, including some of their oldest-root words for God and Universe."), and an Engineer ("These extra vessels on their ship are designed to hold a gelatinous form of sea water. <S> They can survive for decades hidden in isolation as long as the gel processors are functioning.") <S> Think of <S> the parable of the three blind men who touch different parts of an elephant and describe three different creatures. <S> None of your human characters will ever have a full understanding of the aliens, and they will always transmit their own biases while ignoring their blindspots. <S> Every time a human describes an alien <S> it should say more about that human character than the aliens themselves. <S> The reader will perceive the aliens through a multi-faceted lens that doesn't fit neatly into a monoculture, and they will be forced to engage some imagination to bridge the descriptions. <S> Moreover, the aliens will still have a mystery/other sense to them, and each new description offers a jigsaw puzzle of partial ideas rather than an infodump of factoids. <S> Combining the above can lead to "Ah-ha" moments in the story, when a character realizes what another observed (and described) <S> that is outside their own experience. <S> This gives you a plot-mechanic where it is necessary for humans to come together to discover something about the aliens, and a character can have a sudden change-of-heart or re-assess everything they thought they knew. <S> These perspective changes enrich characters and prevent the story from becoming a travel log or descriptive wiki about your world. <A> I feel this falls under the golden rule of descriptive text in general; say as much as you need to and then stop. <S> For example the aliens may have five fingers on each hand but seven toes per foot, they wear space boots so it never comes up. <S> In short point out what you need to, in as much detail as you find relevant to the character doing the thinking about, or noticing of, the detail in question. <A> How far should you describe an alien invader character that has similar appearance to human? <S> You do not need to talk about their original habitat, technology or their more advanced aspects until these things contribute to the plot. <S> Consider what your characters are doing. <S> When do they need to practically use these aspects? <S> If these characteristics are meaningful for your story, they should naturally appear, but never in arbitrary descriptions.

There will be differences that are important to telling the alien characters' story and/or the humans' story as it intersects with the aliens and there will be differences that you as the author know exist but that have no bearing on the tale. The short answer is: as far as it makes sense in the story; no more, no less .

Finding My Own Voice It struck me today that one method of becoming a great writer could be to copy the style of one or more published authors. A bit like standing on the shoulders of giants . I was therefore going to ask a question relating to the best way of doing so, but then I came across this: Is it okay to attempt to write in the style of another person, and how is that done well? There is only one (short) answer: 'no, find your own voice.' So that got me thinking about what my own voice actually is. I read a lot of books and it's quite likely that the way I write has already been influenced by other authors. My question is therefore: what's the best way of making sure that I am using my own voice when writing fiction (as opposed to just copying subconsciously from the style of others)? <Q> Your voice is just that: your voice. <S> Some people think very adjective heavy. <S> She held the worn and leathery hand against her cold cheek, cupping and muzzling it. <S> The sweaty and calloused skin smelled of oil and powder; he'd been oiling that old hunting rifle again. <S> Some people think in ambience. <S> The crackle of fire carried the smell of home, but it was the simmering stew that made it his. <S> His beloved stood there in but a simple dress, her back to him. <S> Elbows danced as she stirred a meal for two. <S> Some people think more about implication. <S> She was the lady of the house now. <S> A title bequeathed to her but days ago. <S> Boots that would always be too large for her, <S> a weight so heavy that even loss and mourning wouldn't dare match it. <S> Some are more abstract. <S> Clapping of slippers on dry, cold stone, weighed down by a crown too light to even hint at its own weight. <S> Winter's cruel touch came early that year, almost as if the gods heralded in the beginning of the ever-growing void within her once warm and welcoming heart. <S> But let's talk about something <S> more direct, more example based. <S> John Grisham. <S> He writes legal thrillers, and you can tell from his voice that he's very direct. <S> His sex scenes aren't teasing and playful; they are direct, to the point. <S> He clearly shows you: this is what you are allowed to know, now you figure out where this is going. <S> JK Rowling. <S> She is very warm and familial. <S> There's a sense of closeness with her characters, a sense that blood isn't the only bond shared between them. <S> But there's also a sense of a greater narrative. <S> A world exists outside of the scene you're in, implications from earlier scenes are splayed out before you. <S> Some scenes are meandering, slow and easy. <S> Others are almost break-neck fast. <S> But there's always a sense that you aren't alone in dealing with this--and in her first few books, this is almost the central theme. <S> Harry Potter would have died a thousand times over, had he been dealing with all that alone. <A> I would say: The best way is to not compare you to others. <S> Sure some have more similarity to others, but everyone is special in his own way. <S> Five authors could write the same story, but there would be five styles in the final version. <S> Your 'own voice' is basically your own style. <S> Normally you write whats inside your head <S> and so it is you personal style. <S> I would say: It's pretty simple in that case, isn't it? <A> Your style will always be influenced by your environment, usually most strongly by what you read, but also by the dialects you hear from your peer group, and any other media you consume, television, radio, games etc... <S> Your style will also change over time, every author's does, read The Colour of Magic and Thud side-by-side <S> and you'd swear they were written by two completely different people. <S> There is a famous saying that "nothing is new under the sun" so it's important to remember that your personal style will always have echoes of the style of others; even including people you've never heard of, or seen the work of, simply because there are only so many ways to say things and so many things to say.

Don't think in the terms of what you write, think in terms of how you think. Every author is special and has his own style.

How do I write a shriek? I'm trying to write a shriek, something like "AHHHHH!" or "AAAAH!". However, I don't really want to use all caps and repeated letters. Does anyone know any other techniques of showing a scream occurred besides what I stated? <Q> Inarticulate speech or sounds is an instance where I tell, I do not show. <S> Shriek, Screech, Scream, Howl ... <S> But I don't try to write anything readable to sound like a scream; I just don't find it ever works well. <S> The same goes for laughing; beyond the single "Ha" we sometimes really voice (and recognize). <S> And moaning, and the sobs of hard crying, or giggling, or roars. <S> I Find ways to describe those using actual words or metaphor or simile. <A> Um, don't, the words "blood curdling scream" exist for a reason. <S> Disclaimer: I find a lot of sounds don't respond well to the onomatopoeia treatment, to the point where I completely skip over any string of letters that isn't a recognisable word. <S> Now part of this is because I am a lazy reader, as a rule I read word shapes not letters. <S> It's also because I can't be bothered puzzling out sounds; they're not that important, what they say about what's happening is and <S> as long as I have, or can extrapolate, that information it doesn't matter much. <A> Think about how the effect of articulating the shriek against describing it is used with good effect in Harry Potter. <S> If a shriek or an involuntary yell happened to be for something that wasn't truly scary (like a cat licking your toe), then it adds to the fact that both you and the character are likely to be chuckling about the unexpected fright straight afterward. <S> If, however, your antagonist appears and starts to do horrible things to people, then using an "AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH!" <S> will undoubtedly soften the message of truly horrifying terror that the reader is meant to experience. <S> It would work far better for a serious situation to say something like: <S> The Dark Lord of Wherever rose from the ground, his fingers reaching out and clutching the throat of the person beside him. <S> The woman standing beside him shrieked in horror as her partner died before her eyes. <S> You can feel this is far more sinister, and the reader will be more likely to be take away the impression you are aiming for. <A> I'm gonna answer from experience as a reader, instead of a writer. <S> When you make your character shriek <S> you usually want to send a shiver down your reader's spine. <S> There have been many suggestions about describing the shriek instead of using an onomatopoeia and they are great, but if you have your heart set on using it, or it's more appropiate for your medium because you lack a narrator <S> (like it can often happen in comics or videogames), I've always found "AIIEEEEE" to have a particularly strong impact: <S> When I read the question title: "How do I write a shriek?" <S> I immediately thought of the first time I saw this onomatopoeia: It was in the videogame "Monkey Island" , and the expression got burned in my impressionable kid mind. <S> Graphic adventures (and 90's RPGs) were a lot like books or comics. <S> They communicated a lot of character with just wording and a few pixels, and there was an impact in that onomatopoeia that I just hadn't experienced before with any other written scream, and I couldn't explain why. <S> Note <S> : Unfortunately, I couldn't find an image of that exact moment of the game, will edit if I do. <A> When writing a Comic Book, you may want to produce the scream and try to assemble the letters as you hear them, and then apply font and size as you deem necessary, really there is no limit in this scenario. <S> On the other hand, when writing a Novel you would want to describe the effects of the scream and how it affects the characters. <S> The reason for this is that you cannot see what the characters are doing or how they look when the action takes place. <S> In a Novel, you want to let the reader decide a lot of things about the environment and what it sounds like to them, what should that shriek sound like to them to get your greater idea across about the situation. <S> These are huge differences, and to get a good answer

It can help if it startles somebody that comes bursting into the room to protect her, or she wakes up already screaming, if it echoes off the walls, if it pains her throat, if there is some other consequences of this action. I think you should define what you are writing.

Can I assume readers will root for my protagonist in a man vs. beast story? I am writing a short Sci-Fi story centered entirely on the man vs. beast narrative where the protagonist attempts to escape an unstoppable, bloodthirsty creature for roughly 15 pages. From the first word to the last, there is action galore with tight, bare-bones descriptions of movements and surroundings to let the reader live the fast-paced scenes I intended to create. Upon re-reading my initial drafts, I realized that I never explicitly motivated the protagonist's escape from the monster. In my mind, a reader would naturally root for him given that he is human and the inhuman monster trying to eat him would be perceived as bad. I know it isn't difficult to motivate his escape, perhaps with subtle references to loved ones he is attempting to return to, but I am against including such tropes if possible. My question is, is this good enough? Can I really assume that readers will care about my protagonist simply because he is human at odds with an inhuman creature, or must I explicitly motivate the reasons to root for him? <Q> For us to be interested in your protagonist, there must be more at stake than mere survival. <S> Survival is merely a technical problem. <S> The physical action of an escape story is usually used to explore a deeper escape story, one that is more psychological, more moral, in nature than physical. <S> In facing the beast, the protagonist must also be facing something within himself. <S> His conquest of the beast must arise from (and also symbolize) his escape from the beast within. <S> (Or, alternately, his conquest by the beast must mirror his conquest by the beast within.) <S> Note that this is not about making him sympathetic in the sense of making him likeable. <A> I think you must motivate him. <S> For all I know, he is a villain, and you might be trying to save that as a surprise ending -- I've been rooting against one monster that is just following his nature to get a meal, for a worse monster that will destroy many lives! <S> Thus I withhold my sympathy. <S> A character doesn't have to have loved ones waiting for him. <S> Humans are valuable (or not) for their sentiments and sympathies. <S> We do not survive alone, that is our nature, we form groups of collective action to survive. <S> Compared to other beasts, we are too slow, too weak, with hardly any natural defenses or weapons like claws and teeth, stingers or venom, all we have is our brains, anticipation, and the coordination of efforts they provide. <S> The people we like contribute and share, the people we hate do the opposite, they are selfish, they take more than their share, they engage in exploitation and harm for selfish gain or pleasure. <S> All you need to make your character sympathetic is to put him in his situation for an altruistic or collective reason, instead of a selfish reason. <S> e.g. He is studying the forest to understand why trees are dying, and how to reverse it. <S> You are right that your character needs no reason to fear and run from the beast, but readers DO need a reason to root for the man instead of the beast. <A> Consider a scene ripped from the middle of a(ny) <S> Wolverine story. <S> If we don't know what went before (bad men did very bad things to Wolverine and are threatening to do extremely bad things to him unless he catches and destroys them) <S> then it looks just like your own scenario. <S> On the other hand, if you add context by either showing what happened before, or telling us something about the characters, then we know who to root for during that scene. <S> Summary: add character/context for clarity.

A good guy escaping a beast is no more interesting than a bad guy escaping a beast unless there is another level of conflict involved. It's essential that you tell us more about the characters or the context in order for us (as readers) to know who to cheer for.

How to hide a character's identity from the audience? My trilogy features two important characters whose identities I wish to keep hidden. The first is the series' deuteragonist, who is heavily implied to be Jeanne d'Arc (yes, THAT Jeanne d'Arc ), who for reasons unknown decided to use her sister's forename and mother's maiden name as a pseudonym to disguise her identity from the main protagonist. Jeanne's identity eventually revealed via a series of flashbacks/dream sequences written from the protagonist's perspective that recount major events from Jeanne's life, which are completely devoid of dialogue (because I have no real way to justify why characters featured these flashbacks would be able to speak perfect modern English ). Although, I'm trying to not make the protagonist look like a complete and utter fool because one of his major traits is his in-depth knowledge of world history and mythology and a major plot point is him trying to discover Jeanne's identity. The second character is Loki , who acts as the trilogy's secondary antagonist and throughout the series, the audience is given hints about his identity. For example, Loki goes by the name of Hveðrungr , until he reveals himself towards the end of the series and several of the Norse myths are sometimes alluded to in several conversations. How, then, can I disguise the identities of these characters? EDIT: This trilogy of mine is set in modern time <Q> Doing this in-character is actually easier than doing it with the audience. <S> Having characters rationalise answers that "make more sense" is easy, especially in the case of a Norse god walking the waking world. <S> The final revelation is that much sweeter when they suddenly understand what they've been missing for the last however long. <S> Hiding things from the reader is really awkward though. <S> Humans are strangely good at pattern recognition so while you may hide a lot of things from a lot of people you can't hide anything from everyone. <S> There are always going to be people who take one look at the first piece of the puzzle and see the whole picture. <S> Generally you hide things from the audience by omission, but not total omission, humans see holes very well too. <S> For example your Jeanne character bears a striking resemblance to a certain medieval painting of herself, have the protagonist bring this up, and a laughing Jeanne says "that's not one <S> I remember sitting for. <S> " <S> the audience is in "modern world mode" <S> so it's a joke between friends <S> , you've actually told who the character is while giving an even stronger message that they aren't that person. <A> Given Joan of Arc and Loki on the stage, your setting is modern-day magical, you have a 600+ year old woman and a God. <S> The reader will consider it a rip-off, a bait-and-switch if you don't reveal the magical nature of this world early in the first act. <S> It will NOT be "entertaining", it will look like a deus ex machina if you don't show the magic early. <S> It doesn't have to be with these particular characters, but it is an inevitable clue you have to reveal. <S> Misdirection. <S> Find a few other female heroes she admires. <S> She thinks women are underrated in history (they definitely are!), and it is unfortunate the only reason Joan is remembered is because she did a man's job in battle. <S> It becomes difficult for the protagonist to prove she is Joan of Arc, when her "hobby" gives her an excuse to know everything <S> he can possibly know about Joan of Arc. <S> Including perhaps an ability to read medieval French that he doesn't have. <S> As for Loki, he can hide in plain sight, too. <S> Take a clue from the canceled series Lucifer : The actual devil is on Earth as a self-indulgent, rich night club owner, a womanizer, a deal maker, consorting with loose women, drug users, gangsters and criminals. <S> Exactly where you'd expect the devil to be, but he appears human. <S> Find a similar modern environment where you think Loki would feel at home: <S> He's a trickster, maybe a stage magician, a card shark, a con man, or an actor, or even an author renowned for his clever riddles and plot twists. <S> A wealthy author has a ready made excuse to be anywhere he wants: <S> Researching a new novel he will not discuss, lest he ruin the surprise. <A> As Cyn stated above, different readers will bring different background to your book. <S> But don't be concerned overmuch with hiding everything from your readers: people love puzzles and they love to be 'in the know' about something that other members of the cast are unaware of. <S> Case in point: <S> I know the word 'Wednesday' is derived from 'Woden,' i.e. Odin, <S> and so when I came across the character in American Gods I immediately recognised him. <S> But while for Cyn that might have been a spoiler that would have ruined the revelation, for me it gave me a pleasurable sense of being in on the secret and watching the other characters figure things out. <S> There will always be someone out there who knows who Hveðrungr was! <A> You do it by limiting the narrator's gaze. <S> You can describe things from the point of view of one or more characters, who haven't yet figured out the secret identities of the celebrity characters. <S> Or, if you have a broader narrator, you can simply turn away when the secret identities of the characters are more obvious. <S> A good example of this is American Gods . <S> Despite the title, and the obviously supernatural happenings in the first few chapters, we do not know the identity of Mr. Wednesday until much later. <S> Mostly because the book is from the point of view of a naive outsider. <S> We realize quickly Mr. Wednesday isn't who he claims to be, but we don't know he's a God—and we certainly don't know which one—until he tells us well into the book. <S> Sure, some readers figure it out earlier, but I didn't. <S> It's still a big reveal. <S> It's not the biggest secret the author keeps from the reader either, because the main character doesn't know his own identity. <S> Every reader will have a different experience with your book. <S> If you aim to keep the secret from every reader, then it will come as a shock to most, and not in a delightful surprise way. <S> So tease your reader with hints and aim for maybe 80-90% to be surprised by the reveals.

When you do tell the audience things you "ignore what's in plain sight", focusing instead on the details that deliberately distract from the secret you want to hide while telling the audience what you don't want them to know. That said, a good way of diverting suspicion is to embrace the similarities: The girl pretends to be an avid fan of history in general and Joan of Arc in particular, referring to her as a tragic hero, unfairly treated, horrifically killed, etc.

How can I make an unrelatable villain more compelling? I have a villain who is more or less a complete monster. She has no goals other than gaining immortality at any cost. Psychopaths like this are sometimes hard to take seriously because most bad guys believe they are doing the right thing. The most compelling villians have a motivation that makes the audience sympathize with them, or some redeeming quality to make them relatable, such as a code of honor. This villain is simply in for the pursuit of power. How can I make them interesting for the readers? <Q> For me the point of interest is not the pursuit of immortality but why she's pursuing it. <S> Either way those past and/or future motives are the points where she's compelling and relatable not in her present actions. <A> It's easy to verify this - just go to any social gathering and talk to a few people - you will find that the ones you get on well with are the ones that you share experiences, ambitions and predilections with. <S> This extends to the relationship between readers and villains in books. <S> What is your target audience? <S> If it's a bunch of geeks then make your villain narcissistic accompanied by being extraverted, more open to experience and more prone to (non-clinical) depression (source: 5 Traits Mark Out The Geek Personality ). <S> If your audience is dictators then make your character charming, charismatic, and intelligent, brimming with self-confidence and independence, exuding sexual energy, extremely self-absorbed, a masterful liar, compassionless, sadistic, and possessing a boundless appetite for power <S> (source: The Mind of a Dictator ). <S> Trouble with the above is that you limit yourself by targeting a certain audience (unless you're going for a niche market) <S> so you might want to look at the traits that the whole of humanity shares. <S> In fact, you might want to consider trying to discover the humanity beneath the façade of your villain. <S> Where is your character hurting? <S> What flaws are there? <S> What hidden hurts hide inside that stern exterior? <S> Reveal those things to your readers and you might just make your villain interesting to them. <S> That reminds me - isn't there a series where the main character (a bad man) goes to see a psychiatrist regularly? <S> Hold on, let me look it up ... <S> Breaking Bad ? <S> No. <S> Mad Men ? <S> No. <S> Analyze This ? <S> Yes, but that's not the one I mean. <S> Got it: The Sopranos ! <S> That would have been a good vehicle for your villain to get in touch with his humanity. <S> Pity it's already been done, but I'm sure you'll think of something else. <S> Good luck with your writing. <A> I agree with Alexander on the fact that a villain doesn't have to be understood to be compelling for the reader. <S> But I'd like to add some bits of my own. <S> For me, it is a problem of being believable . <S> If you write your villain in a way that feels like a comedy or that he's only in for the power, your reader won't sympathize for him, they won't believe that such a villain could exist. <S> But if you write him in a veil of mystery, with some limits or something that make him feels human , it takes another turn. <S> Your readers will ask themselves what are his true motives, how did he end like that, can he change ? <S> They will be able to believe that such a villain is possible in real life. <S> And if they believe, they will want to understand him -- an interest will grow for your villain. <S> Motives, code of honor, flaws, strong history, these are only the tools for it to be believable. <S> If you don't want to use any of them - fine. <S> But you have to compensate with something else, or nobody will find your villain compelling. <S> You first have to believe that your villain is possible yourself, before having your audience believe it as well. <A> You don't have to humanize your villain to make him/her compelling. <S> Fiction has a great number of examples when complete monsters captivated the audience. <S> Count Dracula, Freddy Krueger, Darth Vader and Terminator - they all took their place in villains' stardom long before audiences learned about their tragic backstories. <S> If villain is a POV, then it is of course more difficult, but if its not, you can keep him/her as a mysterious and deadly force that mostly stays in shadows. <S> Readers will be terrorized and mesmerized, while you can keep villain's secret up until the very end.

What you need to do is to make your villain interesting, and unpredictable (but not illogical). To be that bent on living forever she must have either strong history that makes that goal worth such dogged pursuit and/or plans for what to do with the time it grants her. The thing that makes people interesting is how well we can relate to them . For me, this is done by giving him features to make him stand out.

How to pitch TV show with a 'hook' when have a complete bible and treatments? So, I have a TV show I have been writing and will finish soon enough. I have been working on this for a long time, and have written 9 seasons. The type of show is a sitcom. It is based on my lifestory. The 'hook' I refer to is being transgender, which is a focus for entertainment in many ways at the moment. While that is the hook, the story is a lot more than that. The premise will be doing a quirky job in a famous coastal city that had a short lifespan, was well known and residents hated. The story of the people doing the job is already interesting. The show focuses on the protagonist and threw flashback covers growing up in a foreign country, leaving home at a young age, traveling around the world before settling in nyc....there is a big arc on personald evelopment and overcoming childhood drama, which turns into a transgender coming out story. For a sitcom I think I have created something really original, different from anything else that has come before (and I've done a lot of research!). I have a lot of confidence in the story and episodes, and have complete character sheets, treatments for show and season, and have almost finished writing every script for the 22 episode first season. I will file everything with the WGA. This show has a number of amazing characters and amazing character development for each character, including people of color, women and LGBT people. While it was not written that way deliberately, I do feel it is a selling point. I am writing it in such a way to try and get a 5 year order, but writing 9 seasons in total, where the story can end after 5, 7 or 9 seasons. I also wrote the first six episodes of the first season to be somewhat self contained. I am confident in my ability to pitch and have different types of presentations prepared. So, how could I pitch this? I have no background in film or tv, I don't know anyone in the industry, and I am unsure how to send meetings. How would I find an agent to start representing me or the material? <Q> I know we don't like link-only answers, but <S> pitching and finding agents in the film industry is far more than can be told in an answer on this forum. <S> I highly recommend you look into the courses offered by Stephanie Palmer ; author of the book Good in A Room, a veteran of the movie and TV industry. <S> She has detailed courses available on all of this. <S> I do not know her personally and have zero stake in any of her enterprises; but I have tried her instructions and like them. <S> Everything from what the producers WANT in a script, specifically your goals in a pitch, what NOT to say, etc. <S> Unfortunately (for me at least) this typically takes a great deal of social interaction, and if you find an agent they can't do it all alone. <S> Good luck. <A> Just by coincidence I starting reading a book this morning that could be of interest to you: The Tipping Point , by Malcolm Gladwell. <S> I'm only on the first chapter, but it seems to speak to your situation. <S> From what I have read so far: ideas are like viruses - they need a certain set of circumstances for them to spread. <S> One key part of this is 'connectors' - people who have the ability to connect with other people quickly and easily. <S> Ideas (and TV Programmes) are shared and spread very rapidly when they get into the hands (and heads) of people like this. <S> You need to find the connectors in your life. <S> You need to start making inroads into a community of people who have the ability to take your idea and make it into a reality for you. <S> I know that what I've just said seems like a restatement of your problem, and that talking to people not easy and that repeating the same things to everyone you meet is slightly cringe-inducing, but this is what you need to do. <S> The more people you pitch this series to <S> (and I assume that you have an elevator pitch for this purpose) <S> the more chance you have of finding the connectors: the people that can get you to the right people in the industry; so get out there start talking. <S> Oh, and see if you can get hold of a copy of the book I mentioned; there might be something more in the other chapters. <S> Good luck with your project. <A> Ok, I don't have much to say, but here's a couple things: <S> The first thing I have to say <S> , why did you say "This show has a number of amazing characters and amazing character development for each character, including people of color, women and LGBT people. <S> " I mean, yeah, it's great that you do, but why do you have to sell it like that? <S> LGBT people do need more representation, I agree, but you already said that you have a trans character (as the main, if I read correctly), so it's obvious that you have one or more LGBT characters. <S> And why would you mention the people of color one? <S> I have nothing against POC, but why would you state that you've given their character deep character development. <S> This should not need to be mentioned, since it should already happen. <S> And the woman one. <S> Are men not as important as men? <S> Do men not need deep character development as well? <S> I would like an answer to these two questions. <S> The second thing I have to say, I would suggest going about and finding a person who will take you in. <S> (A good director, perhaps, or just a director) <S> Do some research on what goes into a tv show. <S> And research whatever else comes to mind.

You need to communicate your idea to people who know people in the TV and Film industry.

Advice for a "Gift of Words" So we have a friend, having a milestone birthday, and his wife requested that we provide a gift of words. This friend is about the age of my children, and a creative type person. The trouble is both my wife and I are technical people. We write well enough as we have both been published in journal articles and are teachers at heart. Creative is not our forte, and when we do write it is always with the bent of teaching. This is exasperated as the friend is about our children's age, their child refers to us as grandma and grandpa, and we are not 100% happy with some of his decisions. Nothing immoral in the decisions, just not what we would do in their situation. So the last thing this person would want is to be preached at with their birthday gift of words, and both my wife and I would tend to do that. Any ideas on how to get an idea of something to write? An underlying motivation is that I want this to mean something. Now a suggestion that I anticipate is that you should write about hobbies, but that is one of our "not happy decisions". They are saying that they want to save for a house. Fine, they don't make a lot of money, but at the same time he signed up for some acting classes. Again fine, but it conflicts with their stated goals: saving for a house. The acting was not going to lead to greater income, nor were they cheap. Writing about that, I will come across preachy. So my block is a bit different than most. I know what I want to write about, but I fear doing so would be seen as a non-gift if not an insult. Any other ideas? Update: I ended up writing a short note that ended up being encouraging and pointing out good habits. Also I gave him a book of poetry by Poe, one of his favorites. While an awesome suggestion, the grandchild in this case, is too young to write out words (less than a year). Also they bought their house. They both received large raises, and he gave up the acting classes on his own. All things worked out, although he is now making other choices I don't really agree with. :^) <Q> First of all put your troubles with their life choices aside. <S> You have the rest of the lifetime of your friendship to preach to them about appropriate life choices and the need for consistency between words and actions. <S> You have mentioned that the recipient enjoys acting. <S> Perhaps you should buy them the script to one of their favorite movies or plays. <S> That would be a gift of words. <S> Not your own words, but nobody said the words need to be original. <S> Other gift of words options include... <S> books of poetry books of philosophy (not self-help books about appropriate life choices!) <S> samples of beautiful calligraphy Alternatively, buy those "grandchildren" of yours some paper and crayons and then teach them to create words for their parents. <S> Frame the results. <S> Finally, if you are absolutely set on giving your friend some help in reaching their stated goals, give them a book on preparing to buy a house. <S> If all else fails, buy them some shares of ALPHABET Inc., google's parent company. <A> John, you’re in a room of creative types here. <S> Many of us have given up very lucrative careers to be impoverished writers. <S> Money is not the bee all and end all, it doesn’t make you happy — haven’t you heard? <S> And although your friends want to save for a house, they are allowed to do that while pursuing creative dreams, even if it means that saving for the house will take a lot longer. <S> A smart person realises where happiness lies and while it’s nice to own a house, if you trade your dreams for bricks and mortar, you are destined to a life of unhappiness (trust me, I did it). <S> You are judging their choices from your own perspective rather than trying to see it from theirs. <S> You have said yourself that you and your wife aren’t creative people so you can’t understand and are not in position to judge the dreams and choices of someone who is. <S> For a creative person the ultimate dream often isn’t to be rich, but just to be able to make a living doing something you love. <S> Stop looking at and judging this from your own technical and logical perspective and imagine yourself as a creative person. <S> Imagine yourself dreaming of being the next Denzel Washington or Robert De Niro and write as if the dream is yours. <S> The best gift you can give this person in words is an understanding of what’s important to them, not what’s important to you. <S> Good luck! <A> The 'gift of words', that your friend's wife suggested, need not be your own. <S> If she is the creative type then why not enlist her help with this project? <S> If you both collaborate on this then maybe you can provide the technical expertise and she can provide the creative aspects of the project. <S> of your friend(assuming he is creative too). <S> Try to think of something that accords with your friend's character, personality or interests <S> and you'll have a good chance of pleasing him. <S> Good luck with your project.

This is supposed to be a gift, so focus on what the recipient would enjoy receiving. So, if you want to write something for them, you need to step out of your own shoes and walk around in theirs for a while. Without knowing what you are technically good at or how your friend's wife expresses her creativity, it's difficult to be specific, but ideas that come to mind are: a photo-book with photos of key stages in the life of the birthdayboy and a whimsical explanatory text beside each one a journal with some inspirational words from each of his friends andfamily on each page a book containing the words (poems, prose etc.)

How to construct quality long sentences? I want to construct long sentences, for fiction. I do use subordinate conjunctions and coordinate conjunctions, and I also understand different kind of phrases, and grammatical rules. But I still struggle to string the phrases and clauses together in an effective way. Are there any tips to construct long sentences? And really make it beautiful (By arranging different grammatical elements in different ways). (I don't like semicolons, and i don't want to use it) . Give me examples too. I will understand better. <Q> The reason long sentences are possible is because languages are recursive; see here for examples of how this builds long sentences by substitution. <S> Take some long sentences you have access to and work out how they could be built up in this way, and you'll soon have the hang of it yourself. <S> If all your sentences are short, occasionally weaving together the ideas in several of them by recursion will get you the length variety you need. <S> Let's do a worked example, the second sentence of Moby Dick : <S> Some years ago- <S> never mind how long precisely- <S> having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <S> Now let's imagine how you could build that <S> : I thought I would sail. <S> I thought I would sail about a little. <S> I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <S> Some years ago I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <S> Some years ago- <S> never mind how long <S> precisely- <S> I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <S> Some years ago- <S> never mind how long precisely- <S> having no money, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <S> Some years ago- <S> never mind how long precisely- <S> having little or no money in my purse, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <S> Some years ago- <S> never mind how long precisely- <S> having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. <A> Find an author who uses the kind of sentences you want to use, given the limits you seem to be imposing I can't think of any examples I'm afraid, and read their work, study the structures they use and learn to replicate them. <S> This is who I've learned any "technique" <S> I might lay claim to, because of the influence of the writer I read. <A> Some will tell you that's a bad way to write, indeed with some good reasons. <S> His sentences have nearly no end. <A> I have to say that you've opened my eyes by asking this question. <S> I tend to write long sentences already, but I never knew that there were fancy words for how to do that, so thanks for gifting me with knowledge of subordinate conjunctions and coordinate conjunctions . <S> I personally found the following cheat sheets to be very useful for understanding <S> how long sentences are constructed: Subordinate Conjunctions (providing a transition between ideas in a sentence / reducing the importance of one clause so that a reader understands which of the two ideas is more important) <S> Coordinate Conjunctions (using and, but, for, nor, or, so , and <S> yet to connect words, phrases, and clauses). <S> They both include clear explanations and some very good examples. <S> It strikes me that if you already know these things and you are still struggling with writing long sentences, then perhaps you need to look deeper into the reasons why you tend to write short sentences. <S> Is it perhaps that your sentences are reflecting your thought processes? <S> Alternatively, is it possible that you have been taught that short sentences in writing are a good thing and that, on some level, you are reluctant to break free from that early conditioning? <S> I notice that you use several short sentences in your question (this being the only sample of your writing that I have) and that it would have been possible for you to have joined them into longer sentences. <S> Maybe you can spend a few minutes asking yourself why you chose to chop your question into short segments. <S> I feel that you would benefit from exploring this aspect. <S> Perhaps this was not quite the answer that you were expecting, but often digging into the root cause of behaviour is more rewarding than trying to apply a new layer of knowledge. <S> Good luck with your writing. <A> Sorry to challenge the premise of the question, but writing long sentences for the sake of writing long sentences is just as bad as using long words for the sake of using long words. <S> Beautiful prose comes from having a good ear. <S> You can't break it down into concrete rules or a step-by-step method. <S> How to get a good ear? <S> By reading a lot of great writing.

But if you really want to write long sentences, you should study Proust 's works.

Preventing unintentional reading between the lines I'm a really literal writer. I don't write stuff that makes people "read between the lines." Problem is, people still always read between the lines. This leads to them understanding my writing in a way that wasn't my original intent. For example, I ask a lot of questions on Stack Exchange. People think that I'm asking more than what's in the question. Comments: I assume the downvotes indicate that people disagree with your idea of resetting the review ban whenever you pass an audit. It wasn't an idea. It was just a question. What is your end-goal here? Do you want to discontinue doing the extra math practice or do you want to disprove your father's accusations? Do you want to achieve your goals through talking to him, or by other means? As of now your question is unclear, thus as of now I vote to close. I stated my end-goal multiple times in the question, but people keep trying to "solve my problem" instead of taking it at face value. Pro-tip: complaining about downvotes tends to attract downvotes. Again, not a complaint. It's a legitimate answer! hey there @sag. From the several last questions you asked here on meta, and reading through your profile, it seems you have gripe with most communities you partake into. I'm trying really hard not to assume, but it seems you have some kind of "everyone else is wrong" attitude. Probably used the wrong tone or something? Tried to sound neutral but I still came across as "gripey!" How do I make my writing have only 1 clear, literal meaning to prevent unintentional alternative interpretations? EDIT: The problem isn't other people's misunderstanding; it's my fault because my writing is unclear. I ask in this question for advice on how to make it clearer. <Q> When you ask a question, people assume you are asking for a reason, that you intend to use the answer to make some decision. <S> There is no such thing as "just a question". <S> The reason they read between the lines is because you have not made it apparent why you are asking this question. <S> Thus if you want to keep people from reading between the lines, make sure they also understand why you are asking, or what you intend to do with the answer, etc. <S> An example: I'd like to improve my answers, it would help me if the down votes explained what they think is wrong with this one. <S> Or something similar. <S> If you don't make clear your motive behind your message (intent, purpose, reason), people will guess at it, and often assume that motive is nefarious or tricksy. <S> That's just the nature of this beast the Internet. <A> The question of yours on SE that was deleted has to do with hormonally influenced voting. <S> Do you not perceive why this would sound like a gender-biased question? <S> To answer the question you pose here, Simple. <S> Let me demonstrate: <S> Answer: <S> Bold the exact question and state that your words are to be taken at face value. <S> You can add a flourish, like saying, "I hope I am not insulting anyone here. <S> It is not my intent." <S> With that demonstration of self-awareness, people will understand that you are saying "Do not read between the lines." <S> Edit: <S> I assume that you make the effort before posing the question to run your question through common 'sensitivity filters.' <S> Example, Am I using denigrating language? <S> Am I using humor that is in poor taste? <S> Am I attempting to write clearly without allowing personal idiosyncracies to detract from my question? <S> Similarly, if someone says that something is offensive, the post can be edited. <A> Your question is mainly about SE-Posts, but you asked in Writing.se so as such I´ll give a general writing Answer. <S> Technical Writing: <S> Misinterpretation always points to ambiguities in your writing. <S> You may think you are concise, but the fact alone that you get these responses are proof that you are not. <S> Try to find out where the ambiguity comes from and try to refine your text. <S> It´s <S> sometimes not too easy to do this, as your own view is colored by your existing prejudice. <S> Trying to get a little distance to your writing and then come back again helps sometimes. <S> That said, as long as you are not writing actual code, you won´t ever get to 100% - the viewer brings with them their own prejudice and <S> you can´t change that Writing as Art/Entertainment: <S> As with any art-from, interpretation is at the viewers discretion. <S> There is nothing you can do about it - it´s feature not a bug! <A> Q : How do I make my writing have only 1 clear, literal meaning to prevent unintentional alternative interpretations? <S> A : <S> By asking question that have only one answer. <S> e.g. : How far is it from Aberdeen to London according to Google Maps? <S> No, wait - skip that - here's a better one: <S> e.g. : What's one plus one (assuming you're a mathematician not a chemist)? <S> Questions with a narrow focus do not invite questions, comments or debate. <S> They are answerable with very little effort; perhaps just a quick internet search. <S> (I was going to spin off into a spiel about other types of questions that seem to invite people to interpret (or misinterpret) <S> them according to their own nature, perceptions, knowledge-base, cognitive development, level of intelligence (intellectual, social, emotional or otherwise) and other such personal factors, and I was going to express my opinion that these are the interesting questions in life, but then point out that they have no place in this community because of the rules governing (rightly or wrongly (in the eyes of those who desire life to be other than what is is)) <S> what is allowed (or not) here; <S> but then I thought 'better not'.)

Bold the exact question you are asking, with "Question" preceding it, and state that your words are to be taken at face value. One can look at their post and ask what simple ways it might be misinterpreted and then correct it to be more clear.

How can I avoid using I repetitively in a resume/about me? My Question How can I avoid using I repetitively in a resume/about me, should it be avoided or is it to be expected in that kind of writing? Are there any substitutes that can be used in place of it, or should the structure of sentences be modified altogether? The about me page that I'm struggling with, an example My name is Azat. I am an aspiring software developer based in Washington. My primary interests lie in Mobile and Web development. I have a strong foundation in Java, shown in my Android applications which have thousands of downloads on the Google Play Store. I have a solid knowledge of JavaScript and Bootstrap, and am well versed in Photoshop and SolidWorks. I have created several responsive websites such as my website about inauthentic learning. I have competed in Cyberpatriot X at the state level, and was in charge of our Windows machines. My other hobbies include modding phones, reading, card games, and poetry. Currently I am looking for internship opportunities that can utilize my existing programming skills and allow me to expand them further. My long term goal is to pursue a career in Web/Android development. Please feel free to contact me using the information in the contact section or view my resume. --EDIT--This question is different than others on overusing I because it specifically refers to a resume/about me writing format. <Q> <A> Speaking as a former division manager of a public company that has hired dozens of programmers and engineers and read hundreds of resumes: <S> Use "I". <S> It is expected. <S> Stick to the facts, do not engage in puffery, but do not be afraid to note very positive results; either (as you have). <S> Do not be so stilted in your language. <S> I would not use the word "utilize", "use" is sufficient. " <S> Currently" is not necessary either. <S> Currently I am looking for internship opportunities that can utilize my existing programming skills and allow me to expand them further. <S> I would like an internship that uses my existing programming skills, with opportunities to expand them further. <S> ... <S> My primary interests are in ... ... <S> and I am well versed ... <S> I would not mention any other hobbies unless they directly relate to your technical skills. <S> None of yours do (not even modding phones, which suggests you are a hacker). <S> My long term goal is a career in Web/Android development. <S> Thank you for your consideration, my contact information is on my resume, and below: Azat@example.com <S> Cell: 999-999-9999 <S> etc. <S> Good luck. <A> Modern thinking on the use of pronouns ('I') in resumes is that they should be avoided. <S> The reason for this is simple - anyone who reads it already knows that the information is about you. <S> The standard approach is to start each sentence or, more commonly, bullet point with an action verb . <S> This method leads you towards sentences like these: Aspiring software developer based in Washington. <S> Interested primarily in Mobile and Web development. <S> Having a strong foundation in Java as demonstrated by my Android applicationswhich have thousands of downloads on the Google Play Store. <S> Developed a solid knowledge of JavaScript and Bootstrap Expert inPhotoshop and SolidWorks. <S> Created several responsive websites such as my website aboutinauthentic learning. <S> etc. <S> If you want more help on choosing suitable action verbs then this cheat sheet is pretty good: List of Action Verbs for Resumes & Professional Profiles , but other lists exist, so look around. <S> Good luck with your career.

Most résumés seem to solve this issue by creating bullet points and starting each bullet point with the verb.

How to write a good sex scene specifically for erotica? This is unlike the question How to write good erotic scene? , which refers to a sub-plot of a novel in which two characters had sex. There the accepted answer essentially evades any detailed descriptions of the act, by focusing on appearance, or feelings and specifically NOT about genitalia or the actions involved in having sex. Other respondents suggesting similar methods of "hiding" the sex scene, stopping with a kiss or embrace, and jumping to a point after the sex has happened. In erotica, the whole reason the reader is reading is for a lengthy and detailed blow-by-blow sex scene, that is the nature of the genre, and the treatment of sex in a novel or R-rated movie defeats that purpose. The reader wants a fully imagined sex scene, genitalia, penetrations, orgasms, fluids, the whole thing. Perhaps for masturbation or perhaps as a scene to reenact with a willing partner for role-playing fun. (If you are put off by these purposes, this question is not for you!) All of that said, I write erotica. Typically these stories have a setup and scenario which I can describe quite well. However, once I get to the... main event... I find it much too easy to fall into the trap of clichés about crashing waves and rolling eyes. I think perhaps other writers can provide a good way of thinking about such scenes to accomplish this, or perhaps ways in which this is similar to other writing tasks for which more advice exists. What approach can I use to tackle writing long and detailed explicit sex scenes without turning away, that are varied and will sexually excite my readers without using silly similes or boring my reader? <Q> The best thing you can do in this scenario is read - prolifically - in your genre. <S> and what reads like nails down a blackboard. <S> Reading takes time though, so if you want to read prolifically and have the funds to do it, sign up for an audiobook site. <S> I use Audible. <S> You will get through novels like wildfire (while you're walking the dog, exercising, doing the ironing etc.) <S> because you can be listening (reading) all the time. <S> I wear headphones everywhere I go. <S> The Guardian does a Bad Sex Award each year with excerpts from novels where the sex is so cheesily awful <S> it makes the national press (UK). <S> So Google this over the previous years and read as many bad examples as you can. <S> One of my university lecturers taught me that you can learn as much from bad writing as you can from good <S> and we actually studied Twilight along with the literary classics! <S> Nobody wants to read about her "inner goddess doing a salsa" or his "billiard rack" penis and testicles (a recent Guardian winner). <A> I use two approaches: First, like @ggx, I steer clear of metaphors and similes in describing anything about the physical parts. <S> The characters think and use the words they are accustomed to using and thinking, any description or dialogue is direct. <S> The second approach (in combination with this) is describing feelings , again as realistically as I can. <S> Here, I may use metaphors and similes, memories and internal justifications for why somebody is doing something, enjoying something etc. <S> Say my heroine prefers receiving oral stimulation to intercourse: Why? <S> is it the only way she can achieve orgasm? <S> Does it give her a feeling of power <S> , does it make her lover subservient? <S> Does it lessen her experience if her lover stops during her orgasm? <S> Is it important for her to watch her lover's performance, or does she close her eyes and focus on sensation alone? <S> How important is it to watch? <S> Does she have mirrors strategically placed for this exact reason? <S> In general, what's going on in her head? <S> To me, it is a cop-out to just say "it feels better", that is a "telling", not a "showing." <S> Likewise; I do refrain from anything identically repetitive, or any blank-minded sequences (often the same thing). <S> I "compress" those areas with implied time passage; it is NOT erotic to detail every thrust and withdraw, or every moment of fifteen minutes worth of some sex act. <S> You must find a way to "fast forward" through that, in a sentence or two, to something new. <S> Finally, I'd say beware going over-the-top on anything. <S> Sex can be enjoyable without being the best sex the world has ever seen, the most beautiful woman the world has ever seen, the best cunnilingus she has ever enjoyed, etc. <A> In my opinion, erotic writing is more about frustration than fulfillment, even in an explicit context. <S> Once you give the reader exactly what they want, you've spent your load, so to speak. <S> So you want to put that moment off, while still keeping the reader engaged. <S> There's plenty of things an explicit writer can use for this purpose --sex with the wrong person, sex interrupted, innuendo, transparent symbolism, dirty talk, voyeurism, and so forth. <S> Then, when you're ready to end the story with a bang --so to speak-- pull out all the stops, make it quick, and don't worry if it's cliched. <S> It's the journey that will be memorable, not the destination.

Research what works for you, what gets your juices flowing ( so to speak :) ) When I write a sex scene, I steer clear of metaphors and similes and write exactly what is happening. Just tell it like it is.

Do I need to Cite Multiple Quotes From the Same Source Multiple Times (APA)? If I am using multiple quotes from the same source back-to-back, do I need to cite each quote? If it was a paragraph summary, I would just cite the source once as the end of the article, but the issue I'm having is that I have bits of text in between each quote. Here's an example (entirely made up): Freud states, "[insert quote here]." Freud's position on the matter begins to shift when he states, "[insert quote here]." Lastly, he finalizes his position when he states, "[insert quote here]" (source). or Freud states, "[insert quote here]" (source). Freud's position on the matter begins to shift when he states, "[insert quote here]" (same source). Lastly, he finalizes his position when he states, "[insert quote here]" (same source again). <Q> You may use some classical Latin abbreviations, like "ibid." or "op.cit" which are precisely used to indicate that the last quotation has the same source as the previous one. <A> The term for same source is ibidem, abbreviated to ibid. <S> (include the dot). <A> (This is true of APA and anything else.) <S> Regardless, each quotation does need to have a citation provided—even if it's the same source previously used. <S> However, you can use ellipses within a quotation to indicate elided text, thereby allowing a single quotation and a single citation where individual pieces are not absolutely contiguous with each other. <S> (There is no absolute rule for this, but such elisions are presumed to be of a paragraph or two at most, and common sense should prevail.) <S> You could also rephrase your running text so as to make it explicit that multiple quotations are coming from a single page, or a closely related range of pages, from the same source. <S> For example: Between pages fifteen and seventeen of <S> Book Title , Freud's [insert date] viewpoint is seen to change. <S> First, he states, "[insert quote here]" . <S> Then his position on the matter begins to shift when he states, "[insert quote here]. <S> " Lastly, he finalizes his position when he states, "[insert quote here]." <S> Here, you're deliberately providing the source of all three quotations within the running text, and wouldn't need to provide individual citations immediately after each quotation. <S> Depending on your style guide and citation style, you might need to provide more (or less) information in the running text than I did here. <S> Per APA, I included author, date, and page range. <S> The addition of the title does no harm. <S> This is not the APA style of a citation—but it's also not a regular citation, and the information is clear. <S> If you are unsure if this would be accepted by who you are submitting it to, forgo it and stick to the second example that you provided in your question.

The method by which you cite something will change based on the style guide you use, but the need to provide a citation remains the same.

Are there any rules to follow about the narrator mixing past and present tense in writing? I'm editing a short story that's been written in the past tense, however at some points I slip up and use a lot of present tense to describe some scenes. Thing is, it's happened often enough that I've started to second-guess myself when I edit it into past tense, and I'm not sure if I'm doing things correctly. Here is an example of what I mean; this is the original paragraph: I think weakness is the wrong word for it. He's stronger than us because of his compassion. Standing up for and reaching out to someone in need is an applaudable quality. For him to still be his way at thirty-two years old, he's more of a man than the rest of us, that’s for sure. Here is the same paragraph with consistent past tense: I thought weakness was the wrong word for it. He was stronger than us because of his compassion. Standing up for and reaching out to someone in need was an applaudable quality. For him to still be his way at thirty-two years old, he was more of a man than the rest of us, that’s for sure. The first feels more natural to me, so my question is, in general, is there a reason (in terms of getting published) to not mix past and present tense like that? <Q> Stories are not written all in one tense. <S> Even sentences are not written all in one tense: <S> I think I will go to Paris tomorrow, the place where I was born. <S> The only thing that the concept of tense applies to is individual verbs. <S> One of the uses of the present tense is to express general qualities that have no particular point of reference in time: <S> John is wise and compassionate. <S> He has been an excellent district attorney and will make a fine judge one day. <S> This usage is what the author of the passage you quote seems to be practicing. <S> In any case, this is not the sort of thing that an editor should be changing without asking the author the reasons for their choices first. <S> If in doubt about any aspect of the text, always ask the author to avoid resentment and embarrassment. <A> Using present tense for some parts of a story and not for others can be very effective - especially if the narrator is writing in a style that tells a story and adds asides reflecting the narrator's views as they tell it. <S> For example : John walked down the road and went into the newsagent's shop. <S> He asked for a copy of the "Daily Mail" and made a face as Nasir, the newsagent, handed it to him. <S> That's John all over. <S> He hates the word "xenophobic", but mainly because it's Greek. <S> Since you haven't jumped immediately to the idea that something like this is going on it <S> 's either not, or it hasn't been done effectively. <S> If you have the chance to ask the author why they chose present tense for some parts and not others, this would be worth doing. <S> Editing to correct an error in the tense is very different from editing to bring out a style. <A> This way, you can disagree with actions taken by characters, or demonstrate certain actions were carried out based on wrong information etc. <S> It's a very useful trick that can help the reader understand that characters have made the wrong assumptions. <S> Consider your two different versions <S> : in the first, the narrator sounds like they're making a judgment in the present tense about an event that happened. <S> In the second example, the narrator is revealing what they though at the time of the event itself (or they're revealing what someone else thought at the time). <S> There is no issue with either interpretation, but it only makes sense depending on which is correct in terms of your narrator's relationship to the story itself i.e. are they involved in the events, or are they telling a story that they know about, but weren't involved in. <S> The only way this would prevent getting published is if it becomes so muddled that it's never clear when the narrator made their judgment, or if you mix up when the judgment was made and subsequent actions e.g. in one part of the story you suggest the narrator is making a judgment in retrospect, but later in the story, the narrator or someone carries out an act in the past based on that judgment. <A> The two versions of your paragraph are saying two distinctly different things, and neither is necessarily incorrect. <S> Let's examine them more closely: <S> "I think weakness is the wrong word for it." <S> You are describing an ongoing attitude you still hold (or possibly a new thought you didn't have at the time). <S> "I thought weakness was the wrong word for it." <S> You are describing a particular thought you had at a given time in the past, probably directly in response to someone saying something like "He's weak." <S> (This phrasing also tends to imply you no longer think this.) <S> "He's stronger than us..." <S> This is someone you still have a relationship with, and he's still stronger than you. <S> "He was stronger than us..." <S> but now he's dead, or gone, or weak, or you <S> and he aren't friends any more, or this is all something that firmly happened in the past. <S> Depending on your intent, either sentence, both, or neither could legitimately be in either tense (yielding four different variations on the same theme). <S> I could go on, but hopefully you get the point. <S> Even if your story is generally in the past tense, there are some things in it that could legitimately be phrased in the present tense, thus giving them a different meaning. <S> It's quite common --universal, in fact --for past events to have an impact on the present. <S> Language is flexible enough to reflect that relationship. <S> What should be avoided is mixing tenses for no good reason , as in "I walked up the stairs. <S> Now I'm pausing at the top. <S> Then I went back down."

A narrator can mix up past and present tense without issues, especially if the narrator is telling a story now about events that happened in the past, but is giving their thoughts as to what they think now after the events have occurred.

How much agency should main characters have in the plot? I have two main characters. Character A is more prominent than Character B. I've been trying to tease out problems with the story as a whole, and I'm concerned these two characters lack agency. Character A has made several major decisions in the past, setting complex events in motion. The story begins after these decisions have already taken place. He only makes another major decision at the climatic point of the story which is the first one in 'real time.' Character B makes the decision to get involved in Character A's life (with a complete lack of awareness as to implications) and then is swept along by events, only really making the major decision to not leave well alone when all is revealed. There are other characters with strong opposing agendas who push until Character A makes his final decision, but am I doing a disservice to Character A and B by not making them more in control? <Q> At the heart of every story is a choice about values. <S> The protagonist is brought to a point where they must choose between two things they value. <S> This requires the ability to actually make the choice and accept the consequences. <S> That much agency at least is required. <S> On the other hand, there must be limits to the character's agency as well, since if their agency were unencumbered, they would not be forced to make the choice that they don't want to make. <S> If they could have their cake and eat it too, they would. <S> So, story requires a limit on the character's agency that forces them to choose between having their cake and eating it, but sufficient agency to choose between having the cake and eating it. <S> And that agency to choose cannot come out of nowhere. <S> The reader reads in anticipation of this choice, and so they require evidence both that there are limits on agency that will make the choice hard, and sufficient agency to make the choice possible. <A> In my opinion, your story would be fine, and readers would be fine, if your characters exhibit a significant amount of agency once and early . <S> If the hero (and sidekick or whatever) chooses to subject themselves to a harrowing experience that lasts the entire book, and this choice is real (not a "your money or your life" choice), then what follows can be coerced. <S> In the Hunger Games, Katniss makes a choice: Take her sister's place. <S> She could legitimately have held her tongue, but out of love she chose to risk her own life instead of letting her sister march to almost certain death. <S> That's a real choice that showed agency. <S> After that, it's fight or die. <S> The same could be said for McClane in Die Hard <S> (Bruce Willis). <S> He could have left the hostage situation to the police, but chose to risk his life to save his wife and two daughters that were victims. <S> After making that decision, for Katniss or McClane, future "agency" is pretty much in never giving up no matter how bad it gets. <S> Your story can be similar, just be sure you engineer the situation <S> so the characters make one real choice in the beginning. <S> Even if it seems a little coerced by love (like both Die Hard and Hunger Games), make it a decision against orders, wise advice, the law or the Expected Norm in their culture (as is true for both Die Hard and Hunger Games). <A> It is difficult when we do not know the plot. <S> But the fact that you have asked this question at all suggests that you know there <S> ’s a problem with your story. <S> And I would say, yes, you probably are doing them a disservice. <S> It’s <S> okay for an event to happen to a character without them having any agency over it, <S> but they must react and make decisions based on that event. <S> Their reaction as a result of that event or dilemma should then be the driving force for the next event in your story. <S> Read this article for more information on this: https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/writing-the-perfect-scene/ <S> And for further detail, the book this is taken from: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Techniques-Selling-Writer-Dwight-Swain/dp/0806111917 <S> It is hard to write in this way, alternating scenes/chapters between goal/conflict/disaster and reaction/dilemma/decision but having written one novel where I didn’t do this and one where I now have, the difference is startling in terms of how engaging and readable the characters are. <S> It makes for a far more interesting read than a story where events simply wash over your characters like waves, bobbing them around like lifeless objects. <S> Good luck! <A> I have heard it stated as a fact on a number of occasions that people in general only make two serious decisions per year, the rest of the time they just go with the flow. <S> Most of the time life happens and people do their best to get through it. <S> Assuming that all these people are in fact more or less correct and depending on the time scale of the story; the characters having made their decisions and the story covering them riding out the consequences of those decisions is not unrealistic. <S> Alternatively if characters can't or won't make decisions <S> fast enough <S> then they will lose agency, a case of "if you don't make the decision <S> the decision makes you" and/or "he who hesitates is lost". <S> If the pace of the piece is slightly frenetic then a certain lack of agency is to be expected as the protagonists are "overtaken by events". <S> Characters can be very active while not actually having a lot of plot control if they're reacting instead of acting, the example that comes to mind is the Nightside novel Sharper than a Serpent's Tooth by Simon R. Green. <S> There's a plan at the very start of the story but by chapter two or maybe three <S> that's a happy memory and the rest of the book <S> is a series of ill-conceived responses to the latest obstacle, the protagonists don't really make any decisions they simply do what they think they have to to keep moving. <S> I some of that helps. <A> Whoever is telling the story should have the most agency. <S> If Character A is the narrator, then everything should be written in terms of Character A's point of view. <S> After all, people can't read minds. <S> They only know what's in their own minds.

If you know what the central moral choice of your story is, you should be able to deduce from that what level of agency your characters require to demonstrate the capacity to choose and the inevitability of having to choose. The problem with characters who lack agency is that they don’t drive the story, and characters who don’t drive the story often come across as dull and ineffectual (not that I’m suggesting yours are, I’m just highlighting a possible danger).

Would a research team of this size be too small or too big? I'm working on a story that revolves around a research team in a remote setting. They would have supplies so they don't have to leave the area they have to research for about a year. So far, I am planing on the team to be composed of both scientists and people they need for support. By this, I mean someone who is in charge of security, someone who is responsible for health monitoring, and so on. The thing is, I am not sure if this would make the team too large. At the moment I am considering a group of 8, 4 being the scientists and 4 being these support people (a member of the military, a doctor, a computer tech, and a communications official). Would this be too much? Too little? Note: The group would be isolated for the year, in a very cold setting where they would spend most of their time indoors. Food and supplies all provided so no need for survival skills. Editing to answer some points I have in the answers: Would it being a science fiction setting change the amount you would suggest, @Amadeus and @Keith Morrison? @DPT yes I have thought of that. The idea started as something being discussed with a friend so I had been a bit hesitant to change some of the characters but I could drop or merge a few (as you mention the doctor I always felt could be merged with one of the main members of the research group) Considering it's a scifi setting, would rotation of the team done from a station or from maybe a cycling of people in stasis be viable? Still trying to work this out and as I said it was originally done with someone else and now I am working on it on my own. So maybe the best idea is to scrap most of it and starting over on the character pool? So far only the main character is someone I really would not scrap and mainly change the people around him.Thanks for the advice so far! <Q> I have research buddies that go to Antarctica on a regular basis, and the research trips are usually shorter (maybe two weeks) and have more people ... because the cost of getting there is relatively high and if you have a research vessel already heading there you will try to get the biggest team your grant can afford. <S> You will also try to save money by sharing transportation with another research group from another institution, the costs are split between grants. <S> There are as often as not a range of mentorships on these trips - Head PI's, post docs (doing a lot of the work), students (learning) and tech support (grunts.) <S> Then there's the people that transport them (research vessels, but for you could be something else.) <S> So my sense is this is too few people, but I would buy in if it was set up well. <S> I am mostly concerned (have far greater concern) by the presence of military and communications. <S> That smacks of puppets that you the author need, rather than what makes sense. <S> What is the security for? <S> If the location is remote and presumably hostile, then they will be safe from any human danger. <S> Communications doesn't make much sense either. <S> They have computers, are a small group, I don't see needing a communications person. <S> Personally, these are the two oddball features to me. <S> (incidentally, The doctor should be able to double up on research help and <S> the computer guy can as well (everything is data driven these days.) <S> I don't think a group like this would take dead weight along, and a doctor and computer guy would be dead weight unless they multitask.) <A> I am a research scientist, and I have worked on teams ranging from two (I suppose the smallest group that could be called a team, although I have done solo research as well), to fifty six, if you include support personnel; and that included a few dozen PhDs. <S> The team at the Large Hadron Collider has literally hundreds of PhDs on board. <S> For the purposes of realism, your group size can be anything. <S> In a way, you might want a "more is better" approach, if there are only eight people in your story, you will be expected to provide details, interactions and personality for all of them. <S> Innermost, medium, distant from MC, but then your innermost circle can be perhaps four or five people the MC works with every day, the mid-range circle is people he works with once a week, the outermost circle is people the MC knows but converses or interacts with less than once a week, <S> the computer technician, communications, security, supplies, transportation, etc. <A> Just as a comparison, Canadian Forces Station Alert. <S> Of the 60-odd personnel on station, only about 6 are there for the stations primary function (communication interception and monitoring). <S> The remaining personnel are for food services, vehicle maintenance, building and service maintenance, airfield maintenace, housekeeping, running the power plant, and administrative support, or the weather observatory. <S> The weather station at Eureka, on the other hand, has 8 staff (6 Meteorlogical Service of Canada, 2 contractors). <S> Note that in both cases, people don't stay there for a full year at a time <S> : CFS Alert has the military personnel on 6 month deployments, with some on 3 month rotations. <S> Eureka has a rotation every few months. <S> And neither is out of contact, with flights at least every few weeks. <A> Vostok Station in Antarctica has winter staff of about 20 people, and they typically stay there for a little less than a year. <S> Acclimatization to local conditions may last up to 2 month, which dictates typically long duration of visits.

If there are twenty-eight , you have variety when you need it, but the reader doesn't expect a full character profile for all twenty-eight of them, and you can have "circles" of interactions. Generally, a group of 10 or less people will be definitely suffering from "cabin fever", and even large groups would not enjoy staying mostly indoors for the whole year. As far as for fictional purposes, many stories are set in large companies, it is okay if your MC does not have much personal interaction with everybody on the team.

How does a writer go about consulting experts? I'm writing a story that has a medical condition as a central plot point, and now I have questions to ask a doctor. The problem is, I don't know one. I could make up the details, but I feel like the narrative will suffer for it. It occurs to me that this is not a unique situation. I vaguely remember hearing about a site that connected writers with subject matter experts, but now I can't find it. Perhaps I was only inventing it. Where do I find experts to consult? Is there such a site, or can I expect to call my local hospital and be able to talk to someone? What about experts in other fields? <Q> I had to do the same thing for my novel only instead of a doctor, I needed a vet. <S> It was only one scene but it was very detailed <S> so I needed to get the information bang on. <S> I think the key to consulting experts is to respect their time. <S> To that end, I started with Google and did as much research myself as I could so that when I approached professionals I wasn’t asking clueless questions that wasted their time. <S> Next, I went into veterinary chat rooms (and there are Health and Biology Stack Exchanges you can post to) and formulated educated questions based on my own research. <S> This raised information I hadn’t thought of during my research, and also, inevitably, highlighted problems with my scene which raised further questions. <S> Next, I signed up for a paid online consultancy with a qualified vet and posed my (now well-informed) questions to her. <S> She was incredibly helpful because she was being paid to do that. <S> However, none of these routes really gave me a ‘feel’ for the scene I was writing. <S> That took meeting professionals in person at their place of business . <S> I called around three local vets and asked if I could come when it wasn’t busy. <S> One vet was amazingly helpful and booked out a consultancy period free of charge at the practice. <S> Before meeting her, I put together my list of well-informed questions, took notes during the meeting and kept it as brief as I could. <S> With respect to health, I would try a private consultant in the field. <S> If you’re UK-based you’ll find that NHS doctors are pushed to their limits and less likely to give you their time. <S> You can use a Bupa search to find a specialist in your area and then contact them via email to see if they’d be happy to do an interview (UK based, but there must be a similar US site): https://finder.bupa.co.uk/Consultant/search/?first=1&qk=spine&ql=SO22+5BJ&qn=&giottoFormFlag_consultant=1#start <S> As I say, the key is to respect their time. <S> Do as much of your own research as you can so that if you can organise a face to face interview, your questions are well-informed and to the point. <S> Good luck! <A> I actually find it somewhat intriguing that you're asking this on Stack Exchange. <S> Consider that by now, Stack Exchange has over 170 different sites on different subjects, which aim to draw professionals and dedicated amateurs in the respective fields. <S> Stack Exchange isn't the only such site. <S> A web search for "discuss <subject>" or "ask about <subject>" seems likely to get you some relevant pointers. <S> To take your specific example of asking something to a doctor, there's the Health Stack Exchange , the site blurb for which is Q&A for medical specialists, students, dietitians, and anyone with health-related questions . <S> While questions seeking "personal medical advice" are off topic there , if a question is general in nature yet specific enough to be answerable, I imagine that they might be able to help. <S> What's more, people who hang out on Stack Exchange often (albeit far from always) do so in order to answer questions posed by strangers . <S> That sounds like pretty much exactly what you want. <S> Open the site drop-down in the top bar, type a key word for the subject you're planning on asking about into the filter textbox, and see which site(s) show up. <S> By now, chances are pretty good that you'll find a site where what you want to ask is at least moderately on topic. <A> Also try contacting via email, and see if you can get them to respond to your list if questions laid out in the email. <S> I’ve been surprised at the positive feedback and helpfulness that professionals in several different fields of expertise (law enforcement, surgeons, congressman, etc.), have been more then happy to help me with <S> once i found the correct approach in how i went about asking for it. <S> Persistence is key. <S> Best of luck. <S> Cheers,J~ <A> I think it could be a great idea to send an expert in the field a small excerpt to hook them into the story you are trying to tell while asking for some help with the technical matters. <S> A somewhat unethical method would be to include some very wrong technical details that could aggravate their professional mind into correcting you, thereby giving you the advice you seek! <A> Pick up the phone and call them and say, "Hello, my name is X. I am a writer and I am researching a piece on Y for Z. <S> I will credit you, of course. <S> " This pushes the I'm-gonna-get-my-name-in-the-paper button. <S> After food and sex, getting your name in the paper is the third most potent human drive. <S> At 19, fresh out of high school, I worked as a reporter on a small town paper, and it was amazing who I could get on the phone with that simple line.

Perhaps reach our directly to doctors in the field of practice and introduce yourself as doing research for a book on a topic within the realm of their speciality. There's tons of web forums as well as other sites that draw varying degrees of professionals in different fields.

Can a mystery novel have more than one mystery in it? And does it have to be a "who dunnit" concept? I am writing a novel and it goes something like this: In the first half of the novel, the protagonist knows who is doing the killing, but they are trying to make sense of it as in "how are they doing it?" and "why are they doing it?" In the second half of the novel, the protagonist finds out there's an object that can stop the killing altogether, so the main question is "where is the object?" Would this story classify as a mystery? <Q> Can you do it? <S> Sure. <S> As opposed to what? <S> Do you think the Mystery Novel Police will arrest you for breaking the rules of the genre? <S> The question is not, "Am I allowed to do this?", but "Does it make a good story? <S> " If the answer to the second question is "yes", then do it. <S> If as you write this story you discover that it's not working, that the story is boring or confusing or whatever, then drop it and try something else. <S> Have you ever seen the old TV series "Columbo"? <S> Each episode was a murder mystery, but they were not really "who done it"s. <S> Each episode began showing the audience the murder happening, so the audience knew from the start who the killer was. <S> And we were usually given to understand that the detective quickly figured out who the killer was. <S> The mystery was always, "how can he prove it?" <A> Most mysteries don't exist in isolation, but rather they are manifold, take one of my favourites, Roanoke <S> , there are several mysteries within the mystery of the Roanoke disaster: <S> where did the colonists try to go? <S> where did they actually end up? <S> when did they leave? <S> and most "interestingly" what on Earth does "CROATOAN" <S> mean? <A> As long as both mysteries are resolved, I don't see a problem with it. <S> +1 <S> Ash for Columbo. <S> Also, there was recently some miniseries on TV about a woman, a young mother. <S> In the opening, she inexplicably attacks a man and murders him in front of many people. <S> The mystery is not who did it, or how to prove it, but why : Even she does not know why she did it, and has no motive. <S> I did not watch it (short on time for other professional reasons), but it is an interesting premise. <S> So yes, investigating "how and why" can be interesting, and once "how and why" is figured out, investigating how to stop it can be the rest of the story. <S> Yes, that can still be called a mystery. <S> Much of the motive in investigating any murder is punishment, but a healthy part is also to get a danger to society in jail, in order to prevent future murders. <S> Presumably the first murder is the one they hesitated on the most. <S> This is just a logical extension of that same motive for the investigator.

So multiple related mysteries certainly have a place in a single piece.

How can I defeat a 'force of nature villain' without killing him? In my story, I have found myself in somewhat of a pickle: Although the hero is more than powerful enough to defeat a villain (which is your typical 'Dark Lord’) I don't think my protagonist is ready to kill a soul just yet (this is not the climax) but there is no prison that can hold said villain, and the hero can't stay there forever (Just a passerby). Is there any alternative to neutralizing a villain that is pretty much pure evil who cannot be contained? <Q> The villain gets hoisted by his own petard and gets killed as a result of their own actions. <S> Spell going wrong, murdered by a traitorous underling, MacGuffin explodes when his plan is foiled, etc. <S> Alternatively, he gets into a fight with the hero on the roof of a train, with the villain’s back to the train’s direction of motion, and when the hero sees an oncoming obstacle and ducks, the villain doesn’t. <A> As people are already suggesting, you could seal away or make ineffective your antagonist in a number of way. <S> Sure, you said the enemy can't be imprisoned, but you could find other ways to incapacitate him; it mostly depends on whatever devices your world/plot uses. <S> For example, you could find a way to shatter his soul in many little pieces, so he would take millenniums to be whole (and dangerous) again. <S> In Harry Potter , Voldemort does this to himself to become immortal, but the process of dividing his soul in seven pieces actually makes him weaker. <S> Imagine doing it an hundred times ... <S> Another option would be wiping out his memory completely, making lose his inherently evil personality and reducing him to a less aggressive, less dangerous condition. <S> In Adventure Time , the Lich - who falls completely in your definition of dark lord, force of nature - gets regenerated into a giant baby with little to no memory of his destructive will. <S> Not so scary now, uh? <S> A maybe even more questionable course of action would be to exile the evil lord to another plane of dimension (and let those other people deal with him). <S> Story wise, thought, you have to make certain to do this right. <S> You will have spent considerable time telling your readers than the dark lord is evil; if, in the end, after the final showdown, your hero doens't kill it, some more practically-oriented readers (such as me) will be at least a little disappointed. <S> There's nothing wrong with your hero not being ready to get his hands dirty, but he must face the consequences of his actions. <S> What are the moral implications of leaving such a being still alive and able to come back? <S> The story must elaborate on this to give the reader a satisfying ending; too many stories end with the hero taking the high "no-kill" ground, where in real life, this would be unpracticall and probably morally wrong too. <S> Also, how would the hero's friends and family, or whoever cooperated in taking down the dark lord react to this choice? <S> Should the hero stop them? <S> Hope I've been useful. <A> If you want to bring this villain back at a later time, consider whether you want him to even be aware that he has been trapped in his realm by the hero. <S> Get him chasing his own tail, or have the villain leap to conclusions when he misidentifies the hero as the minion of an old enemy. <S> This gives the Elemental more of his own character and his own worldbuild-y concerns. <S> This works for an under powered hero or a trixter, which is usually more interesting than an over-powered hero who wants to be a benign "Dudley Do-Right". <S> An over powered hero could just put the Elemental in a chokehold until he passes out, then chain him up. <S> There isn't much jeopardy or suspense in that version though.

If the dark lord is in a weakened state, some secondary character may very well try to end him on its own.

Would this story be classified as Adventure or Religious Fiction? A pious, benevolent, chaste, vegetarian Catholic monk from America in the 21st Century makes a road-trip to the West Coast from the East Coast to preach the Word of God to non-Christians. He travels in a simple, cheap car, and he is accompanied by a couple of lapsed Catholics who want to support his mission, hoping to redeem themselves from their past sinful lives and learn about God and Christianity along the journey. Along the way, they encounter numerous obstacles, but each obstacle teaches the group something about God or Christianity. At the end of the journey, the monk and his friends have a simple home-made meal and part ways. What does it take for a book to be Adventure? What about Religious Fiction? <Q> I wouldn't worry about what its classification is. <S> Unless there is some practical necessity that requires you to write a specific genre, the point of writing should be to express what you want to express. <S> Robert M. Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is difficult to definitely fit into any one genre. <S> I doubt that he worried too much about that when he wrote it. <S> Also, your description of the story might not be sufficient to determine anything. <S> Although you describe lots of religious elements, you may not be describing that the book also involves hand-to-hand combat, overcoming a series of deadly traps, and solving many mysteries along the way. <S> (I doubt you would have failed to mention it if it did, but I'm just making an exaggerated point.) <S> With that additional bit of information, were it true, <S> the fact that religious things also happen might be diminished in comparison, making it more difficult to absolutely pinpoint a genre. <S> (Ellis Peters wrote a series of mystery books that involved a monk.) <S> Although it would be more explicitly so if religious texts and their interpretations were also known to make up a significant part of the story. <A> Remember, genre classification is largely marketing . <S> It's a matter of your book reaching a certain, pre-identified audience. <S> So the questions you want to ask are "Who will this book primarily appeal to?" <S> and/or "Who is most likely to buy this book?" <S> On the surface, this book seems best suited to a religious audience, and would probably be marketed that way. <S> However, there are some additional considerations: 1) <S> It's possible for a book with strong religious themes to appeal to a secular audience as part of a different genre, and be marketed that way . <S> A good example is the Chronicles of Narnia , which is generally viewed as Children's fantasy despite also being Christian allegory. <S> However, in this case, the book needs to both have strong appeal outside of the religious message, and to not be perceived as "preachy" by the secular audience. <S> 2) <S> The "religious" audience is actually marked not just by religion, but by a range of social, political and cultural values, views and markers of identity. <S> So a book that has strong religious themes but doesn't match the rest of the standard market for that religion may have an uphill battle to find a publisher/audience. <S> (I've experienced this myself. <S> My own work typically has Christian themes, but isn't necessarily a cultural or philosophical fit for the conservative, white, evangelical audience that is the core of the Christian market in the United States. <S> So I need to make sure it has at least some appeal to secular audiences in order to sell it.) <A> Every element you named is religious, so it's not even borderline. <S> Also, I'm concerned about your ending, that it might fall flat. <S> Think of it like a movie <S> - you want people leaving the theatre feeling good.

I would simply write the story you want to write (assuming this isn't a hypothetical question) and let other people worry about classifying it after the fact. Based purely on the description you gave, I would lean toward it being religious fiction.

Is my story too similar to an existing published work? This is meant to be a canonical question, to which particular cases can be referred. We've had several particular instances of this question in the past - "is my story too similar to specific story X". The older ones got answered, the newer ones got closed as off-topic. These questions however never get closed as duplicates of each other, being different in their particulars. The purpose of this question is thus that all similar questions in the future may find an answer here. My story shares some similarities with an existing work: a major plot element is the same, or an overarching concept is the same. For example, I have a regular child suddenly realising he can do magic, and start learning it (Harry Potter, Kaytek the Wizard). Or, there are people flying on dragons, and those constitute an aerial force used in battle (Dragonriders of Pern, Temeraire). How do I know if my work is OK / original enough, or if it is too similar to another work, derivative and constitutes a copyright infringement? <Q> Many stories share similarities. <S> If one story is about a school, it doesn't mean that no story ever again can be about a school. <S> If one story is about magic, it doesn't mean that other stories can't also be about magic. <S> Michael Ende had a story about a school of magic before Rowling did. <S> Both are perfectly fine. <S> There are multiple stories about dragons, there are multiple stories about Napoleon, there are multiple stories about forbidden love. <S> What makes each story unique is the particular way in which all the elements combine: the character traits of the characters, the situations they find themselves in <S> , they ways they react, the particular ways everything goes wrong around them. <S> In a way, story elements are ingredients, like flour, butter and eggs. <S> The story, and its originality, reside in how those elements are combined, what they make in the end. <S> (Or perhaps not - one can write a retelling of an older story that's in the public domain, but one should not pretend otherwise in such a case. <S> West Side Story makes no claims of story originality, but admits freely <S> it is a retelling of Romeo and Juliet .) <A> A story is like a person. <S> Many people lead similar lives and yet each person we meet is unique. <S> Every fireman we meet is a different fireman. <S> Every nurse is a different nurse. <S> Every teacher is a different teacher. <S> Every cop is a different cop. <S> Even when they fall into stereotypical behaviors -- even if the firmen all keep dalmatians and the cops all eat donuts -- they are still unique individual people. <S> The ones we know, we recognize. <S> When we meet another, they are not the same person, through their life and work may be very similar. <S> A stranger from the next firehouse is not your fireman buddy, even if they wear the same hat, support the same teams, drink the same beer, and live on the same street. <S> We meet each story as we meet each person. <S> They may take a familiar form, have a familiar plot and setting and crisis and resolution, but they are unique stories and we recognize them a such. <S> But when we meet a story that is trying to be another story in disguise, we are not fooled. <S> When we meet a story that is aping another story, we see through the deception. <S> This is not a matter of degrees. <S> It can't be decided by counting plot points or by doing side by side character and event comparisons. <S> It is not quantifiable, but it is instantly recognizable. <S> (Somehow, I think, we recognize the pale imitation even when we have not seen the original, just as we would recognize a wax work as wax even if we had never met the real person.) <S> Is your story to similar to a published work. <S> Does it feel similar? <S> Does it feel derivative? <S> Does it feel like pastiche? <S> It is really all about authenticity and authenticity is a property of the whole not the parts. <A> There is a theory that all stories basically boil down to either the same 6-7 things*, or all stories are retellings of the Hero's Journey. <S> * <S> E.g. Man vs man, man vs nature, man vs himself, going somewhere and returning (etc.) <S> Which doesn't really mean anything, except that if your categories are broad enough eventually you can cram everything into them. <S> Also remember that 50 Shades of Grey started out as fan-fiction for Twilight. <S> So if something is too similar, the serial numbers can be filed off later. <A> Great question. <S> One of my favorite series is called the Tapestry series and on so many levels the first book is a carbon copy of Harry Potter. <S> The truth is, when someone likes a story, they want to hear it again. <S> History has shown that some of the best stories get retold over and over again adapting every time with the flair of the story teller. <S> Tell your story. <S> If it feels too much like the other stories you’ve read, ask yourself why you’re writing it? <S> If the why isn’t meaningful to you, that’s where you should worry, but if why you were writing it in the first place feeds your passion of storytelling, you’re stay the course, the similarities will be indistinguishable when readers see you on paper.

If my characters act and respond always the same as the characters of another story, if they find themselves in situations that are the same, if all the story beats are the same, then perhaps I should reconsider what I'm writing. I wouldn’t worry about it. It is a matter of character.

Do I have to keep saying “_____ thought,”after I put italics? Every time a character is thinking something is it necessary to put “_____thought,” if there is italics, so shouldnt they already know that’s what the character was thinking not the narrator speaking? <Q> First, you'd need to establish the convention that you use italics for thoughts. <S> I've seen different books use italics for thoughts, telepathy, foreign-language inserts, and more. <S> The reader would need to know what you use italics for. <S> (See, here I've used italics to stress a word.) <S> Once you've established the convention, and so long as it's clear who's thinking the thought, (I'm assuming we're only hearing the POV character's thoughts?) <S> you don't need to repeat the "_____ thought" part - it's sufficiently clear without, so reiterating it is redundant. <S> But this can be self-evident from context, just like it is in dialogue. <A> No You merely need to ensure the reader understands who is thinking, and that the text is thought. <S> E.g. "Trevor stood before her, like an ebony sculpture, even more imposing than she remembered. <S> Gods, my father hasn't changed. <S> Morgan thought to herself." <S> or "Trevor stood before her, like an ebony sculpture, even more imposing than she remembered. <S> Gods, my father hasn't changed. <S> The thought sluiced through Morgan's mind. <S> or "Trevor stood before Morgan, erasing her preoccupations. <S> He was an ebony sculpture, even more imposing than she remembered. <S> Gods, my father hasn't changed... " <S> or " Gods, my father hasn't changed... <S> The thought came unbidden as Trevor stood before her; an ebony sculpture, even more imposing than she remembered." <S> etc, etc, etc <A> If you establish it as a convention in your novel, no. <S> Being honest, while there are uses for outright stating thoughts as streams of dialogue-like prose, it's still a very telly form of exposition. <S> Creative narration and use of motifs can bring about the same effect in POV-based narration as outright stating a particular stream of consciousness in italics. <A> My own convention is to format thoughts much like dialogue, in italics, without the quotes. <S> So I will often start a new paragraph, in italics. <S> He's trying to trick me. <S> I will intentionally, early on, add the 'she thought' tag, to establish this convention: <S> He's trying to trick me, Sandra thought. <S> I never write to reveal the thoughts of more than one character, so this is seldom necessary, but I still do it once in a while because it sounds right, or especially for linkage: <S> He's trying to trick me, Sandra thought. <S> "I'm really not interested, okay?" <S> Because thoughts are often not verbal in any grammatical sense, but a mix of images and feelings and intuition, I will often describe thoughts, that lead to verbatim thoughts: <S> So that would explain why Mark lied about where the money came from, but why would Allen agree with him? <S> Allen couldn't possibly know what Mark was doing, not back then. <S> Unless he did. <S> Unless he knew all along! <S> IMO thoughts expressed grammatically are rare, so I would resort to descriptive prose for them most of the time. <S> When there is a voice or sentence in their head, it is usually short, direct and without embellishment, a declaration and not a long description. <S> Often it is a single word: Jerk. <S> To me <S> that is a "believable" thought, and when I want to include it, I treat it as internal dialogue; and use all the rules of dialogue, just in italics instead of quotes.

If you're inside the heads of multiple characters, you'd still need to make clear every time who's doing the thinking.

How do you tell the reader that the setting is normal modern day? I am getting some feedback on my writing but one of the questions that come back is that the readers are not sure about the setting. White the story was marked as fantasy, nothing fantastic had happen yet. The chapter describes a messy apartment, drug dealers, the mob, and mentioned Brooklyn. I meant for the reader to quickly understood that this was normal modern life. I thought I would not have to mention anything and it would just be understood. How can I tell the reader that everything is normal? I feel like if I focus on any details it will just make it seem that other details are not normal. I can't explain every detail of modern life, that's just everything. I have some thoughts of mentioning the current president, but in today's climate I feel like my story would become instantly political if I do anything except the coldest info dump. How can I point out that things are mundane to the characters and mundane to the reader? Does this complain about unclear setting mean that I may be having other problems that readers and not expressing? <Q> I think in this case, the golden rule of "show, don't tell" is best. <S> And I don't think it would have to take a lot of writing at all to subtly express this. <S> Maybe your character hears traffic. <S> That single line of text about what your character hears tells you cars exist, and cities, and maybe rush-hour traffic, which all point towards a modern, city setting. <S> Also references can be made towards technology. <S> Maybe their cell phone goes off. <S> Or any number of ways you can subtly show that modern, familiar technology exists in this world. <S> That's a way you can help familiarize your audience with where the story takes place without focusing too much on describing the setting. <A> It is easy enough, I would think: Contrive some reason to mention the year. <S> Mike opened the box to unveil Nancy's birthday cake. <S> "What do you think?" <S> Alice looked and suppressed a laugh, the cake had nice flowers and vines, but he'd had piped on it, Happy Birthday Nancy! 1978 -- <S> 2018 . <S> "Oh my god, Mike, it looks like a tombstone!" <S> "You said don't say happy fortieth, and don't put forty candles, so what was I supposed to do?" <S> "Just Happy Birthday Nancy , and nothing else. <S> How you ever got married is beyond me. <S> Scrape the dates off." <S> "It will ruin it." <S> "I'll do it, dufus." <S> Or anything else that strikes you. <S> In film, you will notice they do the same thing quite often, find an excuse to show or mention the current year, in passing, especially if it is the very near future. <S> You can use Birthdays, anniversaries of people or major events. <S> Like "President Fenhall is expected to lose support in the 2022 midterms... <S> [blah blah blah]" <S> You can even use major events few people know of, or know the date of: Just work them into the conversation: As she sat down, Alice said, "The Fourth of July. <S> Happy sixth anniversary, Mike!" <S> Frank frowned. " <S> Anniversary? <S> Did you get married and not tell me?" <S> Mike said, "Since the Higgs Boson was announced, of course. <S> July fourth, twenty twelve. <S> Thank you for remembering, Alice." <S> "Brainiacs," Frank said. <S> "Why do I hang out with you guys?" <S> Alice knit her brow, pretending to think hard. <S> "We're the only people that love you?" <S> Frank grinned as if suddenly enlightened. <S> "I guess there's that! <S> Thanks, Alice!" <A> I think in many genres <S> the default assumption is that it's "normal" present day (whatever you meant by normal, <S> I mean there's no alternative history involved). <S> If someone reads your story shortly after it's written, they'll correctly feel as much; if they read it years later or more, your work will date itself anyway. <S> Seriously, read or watch anything more than 20 years old to see how it happens automatically. <A> I would avoid making any mention of it. <S> This is more of a job for your publisher, your illustrator, and your synopsis. <S> Think about all of the information a reader gets about a book before they purchase it. <S> The only thing as far as setting that you need to really worry about is what is different from what my reader is experiencing right now that I should paint for them. <S> If it is a regular day on a farm in Ohio, or a fast pace day in New York City, the interactions, the things your character will do will start depicting the time period from whether they pulled out a smartphone, to grabbing a Starbucks coffee on their way to work. <S> In your work, people generally default to modern, real-life fiction, unless indicated otherwise, but some of those questions should be addressed in how your book is delivered to its audience.

I'd argue the trick is not to do anything. If they don't know what the setting is by the illustration, by your synopsis, and what is delivered in marketing, you have a major problem in your production of your work.

How do I know, how to limit the details? While writing a novel, which is a drama, how do I manage the amount of trivial details or trivial information, that I want to give to help the readers visualize the scene but given the details have no relevance to the overall plot? For e.g. same paragraph in my novel, I just slept in my room for two days straight, neither did I wanted to go out nor did I bothered myself to do it. I searched online for houses for rent, mostly shared houses to share with other people, I was bit scared to live all by myself, it would have been another ordeal. In those two days I shortlisted some 4-5 different houses listed online, I had to make sure that they are also close to my job location at West Cliff road which I can also write as, I just slept in my room no 13 which was on the first floor facing the sea , for two days straight, neither did I wanted to go out nor did I bothered myself to do it. I searched online on different websites like gumtree and housing.com for houses for rent, mostly shared houses to share with other people, students or professionals, I was bit scared to live all by myself, it would have been another ordeal. In those two days I shortlisted some 4-5 different houses listed online, I had to make sure that they are also close to my job location at West Cliff road near ASDA . How should one determine at what point the information will be taken as boring and till what point will it help to give the picture of the scene? <Q> The lesson I took away from learning a list of common bad writing practices, and the reasons why they disengage readers, is that writing right saves you time on your first draft if you can bake the rules into your writing style. <S> Every sentence I write and <S> every scene I put together is with a mind towards not having to delete parts of it later (though of course sometimes I fail). <S> Part of this is that, because I always know what is coming soon and I want to get there fast <S> , I don't ramble and I don't waste the reader's time. <S> That's why I'm glad you gave a short vs verbose example, because I feel you can and should go even further. <S> I would have written something more like this: <S> For two days all I could bring myself to do was research rentables from my bed. <S> Everything near enough to my job meant sharing. <S> Good, less scary. <S> See how everything you really wanted us to know <S> comes out of that? <S> This example illustrates how certain pieces of standard writing advice complement each other. <S> How do you avoid excess details? <S> Let the reader infer them; in other words, you show instead of telling. <S> Readers like to unpack what you've written and visualise the world however their mind sees fit, and (as I've explained before ) <S> they like to get inside people's heads as practice for the real world. <S> (I've also discussed some advantages of showing here .) <S> So how do you limit details? <S> Very simply, ask yourself whether a detail is worth your time as a writer to include, given what you're achieving already with your economic words and what you want people to take away from the sentence, the paragraph, the scene, the chapter. <S> You'll often find yourself adding details later, when they're relevant. <S> (For example, in my WIP I've revealed several details of a poor family's shoddy home, not by describing the whole thing the first time we see it, but seeing what they bring up in heated arguments, warnings to visitors, their insecurities etc.) <S> So don't worry that you're not writing enough or would have to manually expand sentences when you're redrafting; neither of those will be a problem. <A> While it is technically arbitrary, and you are allowed to include however many details you want, I would stick to including details that are somehow relevant. <S> Is it important that it's apartment 13? <S> is apartment 13 unlucky, cursed? <S> does MC feel unlucky? <S> Is it important that it's facing the sea? <S> maybe your character likes the sea. <S> Maybe they hate it. <S> If they have no opinion of the sea, it probably isn't relevant, and you probably don't need to include it. <S> I think specific details like "I searched www.website.com for houses" is probably not very relevant. <S> You want to give details that are either important to the setting or to your character. <S> The ocean might be important to both. <S> housing.com is probably important to neither. <A> If a detail isn't relevant to either, ask 'is it interesting/charming'? <S> Even if you think it is, question yourself again and again. <S> If it's not misdirection, if it's not foreshadowing/set-up, and if it's not directly related to the actions of the current scene, and there's nothing of interest it could add, then it's chaff. <S> Cut it. <S> As Anton Chekhov said, 'If there's a gun described as on the wall in the first act, it must go off in the third.' <S> If not? <S> Don't include it. <A> Only two things should be at the forefront when sharing detail. <S> Does it impact the characters development in anyway, or is it something they experience in that moment that can express a reaction? <S> Does it matter to the progression of the plot, either in direct plot or foreshadowing? <S> Great writing is watching a world unfold as your characters experience the story that unfolds in front of them. <S> The trick to it is that world, and story is impacted every step of the way by the characters experience, so if you’re not sure if it’s relevant, ask yourself if your character cares, and if not, ask if that may change when your character encounters that detail later. <S> Don’t give all the information and context right up front either. <S> Readers can fill in a massive amount of information, and small guiding details of context can help them feel like they can trust you to eventually build the whole picture, but they don’t need it every step of the way.

Ask yourself which information is going to be relevant later, either as a misdirection (a red herring) or actually is required for plot point/foreshadowing.

How to write an introductory dialogue? What are different ways I can write a dialogue where a character is introducing himself to a woman in a professional setting? I don't want to write explicitly like this, "Hello Miss Emily, my name is Dr.Alfred Miller, I am the professor of Physics here at the university." Edit: In my novel, my protagonist is a saleswoman in a technology company and she is in the office of professor Alfred Miller. Her company has already sealed the deal with the university about the tech product. She is here to get the details of Professor's requirement. She arrives in the office of professor with a mutual friend they have, Susan. I have written the following dialogue, the next line is when the Prof introduces himself. “Hey Alfred, good morning.” “Hey morning Sue, how are you?” “I am good, thanks, meet my colleague Emily.” “Hello Emily, ... he introduces himself .” <Q> At the moment, your suggested dialogue is very dry. <S> Every piece of dialogue should ideally serve one of two purposes: 1: <S> 2: <S> Expose something about a character/their relationship with a character. <S> A good example of economic usage of a greeting to establish something about characters immediately are the sheepdogs from the looney tunes. <S> Every day, one punches in to their sheepdog job while the other punches out. <S> They curtly say to each other: "Morning, Sam." <S> "Morning, Ralph." <S> This summarises both their relationship to each other (they cover each other's off shifts) and their role (punch-clock sheepdogs who have as much apathy for their jobs as human punch-clock workers). <S> Think about what this greeting or introduction is trying to achieve. <S> If it's literally just a polite greeting with no caveats or additional meaning, reconsider having it as a dialogue exchange at all; it could easily be summarised with 'Dr Alfred gave Emily the same milquetoast greeting he gave everyone else', or words to that effect. <A> I think, at this point, the introduction (beyond polite formalities) might not be necessary. <S> If the business deal or whatever has already been agreed upon (and they're just meeting to fine tune the details in a professional business meeting) then both parties are (externally) aware of the other and their goals for the meeting. <S> Formal, lengthy introductions would just be clunky (which, I'm guessing, is why you dont want to write them.) <A> Speaking as a professor (with a PhD), I would introduce myself, to a friend of a friend, by my first name. <S> As an aside, a saleswoman should not be introduced as "a colleague" in a university setting, a colleague is somebody of similar rank, and in this setting implies a PhD. That is certainly what I think when anybody is introduced as "a colleague. <S> " Susan should introduce her as a "friend". <S> Also, unless this is a VERY small college, it has multiple professors of physics, <S> so "I am THE professor of physics" is inappropriate, "I am A professor physics" is what he would say. <S> If you want some prestige, make him "THE Department Head", that is singular and suggests experience and seniority (without being so high up that he is more managerial / administrative than practical). <S> " <S> Hi Emily, I'm Alfred. <S> Dr. Miller if we are being formal." <S> "Oh, are you a teacher here?" <S> "I'm the Physics Department Head, that takes up most of my time <S> so I'm exempt from teaching classes, but I do have three students working on my research projects. <S> What has you two wandering the halls?" <S> Something like that.

Move the plot forward.

What are various sites to publish erotica? Where could I look, or what could I search for, in order to find sites that allow user based publishing of erotic stories online? The only site I currently know of is literotica.com. I am not trying to advertise for them, this is the one example I know of, it is no more an ad than if I listed agentquery.com or manuscriptwishlist.com when looking for how to find an agent. I am not encouraging anybody to go read erotica. I am interested in whether other writers know of additional places to publish erotic stories, or have found a way to search for them. I think this question is general and could help other authors that may hesitate to ask. <Q> One quite effective alternative is: storiesonline <S> They have the option to also post non-erotica, and have a very effective categorisation tool. <S> You can actually find writing on a reasonable breadth of topics here, although the primary focus is erotica. <S> Another place to post original work online is: fictionpress <S> They don't appear to have an erotica category - so I suspect hardcore material would not be allowed - but some perhaps soft-core stuff would be welcomed in the romance section. <S> If you go to the effort of setting up your own site for publishing then this is a great place to promote that work: topwebfiction <A> I think Wattpad allows erotica in their stories and is a pretty popular platform from what I can tell, check them out and see if that works out for you. <S> You could also just publishing collections or novella's through kindle and build a following through twitter. <S> I have found a number of decent erotica authors go this route. <S> It certainly saturates the environment more, but erotica/romance fiction has always been a high demand market so if you build those connections through social media you could definitely find some decent readership. <A> I hope this is not considered spamming, but I thought some of you might be interested in the site I run: noveltrove.com . <S> It's an erotic stories website, it's ads-free (free in general) and we are always happy to welcome new authors, including newcomers who are not sure "if I'm good enough" (you probably are). <S> Feel free to visit and decide for yourself. <S> If you are looking for a specific niche, just add it to the search term. <S> There are various smaller sites and forums catering to all kinds of fetishes. <S> Just one thing for your journey, don't share any personal information, if you are not totally comfortable with it, but you know that already. <S> Stay safe and have fun! <S> Edit: I don't have enough reputation points on stackexchange to add a comment, thus I'll just add to my original post. <S> We are a judgement-free zone and members are welcoming. <S> Currently we got ~2500 user accounts. <S> The site is financed by me, and I'm not selling or sharing user data.

If you are looking for more sites, simply search for "erotic stories" on your favorite search engine, and you shall find what you are looking for.

What, exactly, is a character study? Critics and writers use the term "character study" a lot, usually to describe works that are especially 'literary' such as The Remains of the Day . Despite its usage, it appears that no one really has a definition of a "character study", and that no one really has a specific set of properties that sets character studies apart from "non character studies". Am I mistaken? If so, what exactly makes a character study a character study? <Q> Now, you might think 'oh, but isn't every story that'? <S> No, not really. <S> Something like 'Back to the Future', while an entertaining movie, has largely static protagonists; both Marty and Doc Brown don't have character arcs, and the main story is 'main character is stranded in the past and needs to get out'. <S> The primary conflict is external rather than internal. <S> Take instead something like ( <S> and this is going to be a touch controversial <S> given <S> it's hardly literary or popular) ' <S> the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya'. <S> The main character, Kyon, winds up in a similar situation: He's whisked away from his weird, supernatural-event-filled world that he knows and gripes about constantly and is instead placed in a completely normal world. <S> He freaks out and tries to get home, making it seem like the main conflict will be external, but in the end, the means to get home is figured out relatively quickly. <S> The main conflict then becomes... is it right to change the world back to how it was, and does he, the main character, want it? <S> He thinks about all the times he's hated being ran around and suffered the consequences of big magical happenings he has no control over and seriously debates with himself if, now that he has the means to return to his old life, he really wants it. <S> He's thinking about the character who changed the world for him, a dear friend of his, and whether his relationship with her trumps his relationship with the old world. <S> Ultimately, he chooses the old world, because he develops as a person and realises that... <S> yeah <S> , for as much as he gripes about the crazy happenings in the old world, he wouldn't replace it for the world. ' <S> Disappearance' is a character study of Kyon and his role as a snarky everyman amidst the chaos. <S> I hope this helps. <A> A character study is a character portrayal, it shows the life and concerns of one (or a few) characters, why they do what they do, so you get to know them. <S> They can be entertaining, immersing the reader in their world. <S> There is no overarching goal for these characters that they strive to achieve; but it is fun to watch them, sympathize with them, rejoice with them, grieve with them. <S> They find lovers, navigate hardships and setbacks, but you don't get the sense that they are aiming to achieve any life goal. <S> Typically they don't have a villain to defeat. <S> You have a "slice of life" novel. <S> Of course, the character you study does have to be interesting, they can't be leading an entirely boring life, because you need to take us through ups and downs, triumphs and failures, grief and joy, often sexual liasons, affairs, or the loss of virginity. <S> This can mean a headstrong or impulsive character, or a fearless character. <S> Besides "Remains of the Day", I would say "Little Women" (Louisa May Alcott) is a character study, of four sisters. <S> It is out of copyright, you should be able to get it for free somewhere. <A> From what I understand in the times I have seen it a character study is when a writer takes a well known character archetype (take many of Shakespeare’s major character and plot archetypes for example) and reuses it in a new and original way that deepens its use, but doesn’t branch too far off of it. <S> I think it is also usually reserved for literary critique as the intent behind the character is to be a literary ode to the original archetype and a sort of study into the qualities of this type of character, not a rework of a familiar character for ease of writing. <S> e.g. Gandalf may be seen as a character study of Merlin. <S> I couldn’t give you too many examples though as I don’t really read many genre’s that would fit well into the literary field.

I'm not entirely sure myself, but if I were to wager, it is where the primary conflict and arc of a protagonist is not primarily about the physical quest, the action and the plot, but rather their internal change, their character development.

Is it possible to use the word "it" too much? I'm describing a creature in my story, and I'm worried I'm using the word "it" too much. Is there a substitute I can use for the word? Can I keep using it? Beady eyes look back at him, inky and devoid of any emotion. The creature’s head is small and round, flesh green and sickly-looking. Its ears are long and thin, and its nose is nothing more than two penny-sized holes. Its mouth is open, sharp yellow teeth bared in a ferocious growl. <Q> Very common words such as it are almost impossible to overuse, especially in such a short description. <S> (Many writers err due to trying not to repeat a common word. <S> For example, just look at synonyms for said in many dialogue tags.) <S> It's not like the word you're repeating is ukulele. <S> Besides, your description reminds me of one so good to have become very famous: <S> But who is this creature with terrible claws And terrible teeth in his terrible jaws? <S> He has knobbly knees, and turned-out toes, And a poisonous wart at the end of his nose. <S> His eyes are orange, his tongue is black, <S> He has purple prickles all over his back. <S> Oh help! <S> Oh no! <S> It's a gruffalo. <S> As a reader, do you mind the he/his count? <A> You are not overusing "it" or "its", the only thing to worry about with pronouns is ambiguous reference; which I don't see in your example. <S> An ambiguous pronoun reference: Normally a pronoun refers to whichever the previous noun was. <S> A noun is a person, place or thing, and it gets confusing when a single pronoun might refer to more than one such noun. <S> This is particularly prevalent in same-sex interactions, multiple girls having a conversation or multiple boys having a conversation. <S> While it may be clear in the author's mind that despite the lack of nouns, the first "her" refers to Linda, the second "her" refers to Gina, and the third "her" refers to Barbara, <S> don't count on your readers being able to read your mind! <S> He hit him in the face, and he responded by kicking him in the knee, which caused him to fall ... <S> (Wait, who fell?) <S> When confronted with a slew of pronouns you have written, particularly in same-sex interactions, make a point of checking each one and seeing if it is ambiguous which character it refers to. <S> If not, leave it alone; pronouns are processed almost subconsciously by readers; as long as they aren't ambiguous. <A> Those are correct applications of the word "it" as "it" is normally the pronoun used for creatures that are not yet gendered (though I would say if you intend to show that the vicious monster is really a Mama Bear protecting her eggs, I would creatively dodge pronouns until you reveal the twist. <S> Because now the creature has a gender and needs her pronouns. <S> This is more consistency than any hard rule). <S> And believe me, I understand the struggle of using it way to much. <S> I once wrote a short story about a monster that was so fearsome that there was no real word to describe the thing. <S> The villagers who were menaced by the beast refereed to it as "It" because they had no better words (the twist of this story was that the story is that the villagers were not adults, but kids who were imagining themselves in adult roles during their playground antics... and the monster was literally It... as in "Tag, You're It".). <S> You have no idea how frustrating keeping your Its in check when your pronoun is also your proper noun. <A> Instead, I would recommend varying your sentence structure. <S> If you are worried about using a pronoun too much, just go back and read how many times you used it in the paragraph. <S> If you are using it more than two times per sentence for several sentences in a row, you could try replacing the pronoun with some of these: https://www.powerthesaurus.org/creatures/synonyms <S> You may have to pick and choose from that list, but some of the options are really good and may help you in future instances. <S> In general, if you feel you are using a word too much, just try a quick synonym search. <S> It really doesn't take that long, and it can really pay off.

It is possible to use 'it' too much, though you don't seem to have trouble with this in this instance.

What would a FtM transman's, who was born in 1990, life be like? I am writing a story with a trans character (female to male) set in the 1990's. My main character's parents are supportive from the beginning, but did transpeople have access to hormone injections and the sort of resources they do today back then? If there were, his family would help him receive them. He let them know early in life, at the age of four, that he didn't feel like being girlish or dressing femininely, and he'd get so upset about it that they realized this was a real thing their kid was going through. In my story he's supposed to appear as passably a boy by age 14, that whenever someone learns he's trans, they're completely thrown. I imagine that if transphobia is bad still these days, it must've been worse back then, and it wasn't even that long ago. What kind of barriers and discrimination would this little family face? <Q> If you go back a bit further you will find the controversial story of the tennis player and doctor Renee Richards. <S> One aspect that made her attempt to play in the Women’s Open controversial was the belief that she would be stronger than the other contestants. <S> It was not considered fair to the rest that she wanted to compete with women. <S> One question you must decide for your character <S> - does he want the surgery or will the hormone treatment suffice <S> and he will live his life as a male without it? <S> The barriers that are more likely are those that anyone who is different would encounter. <S> The personality of your character could well determine how accepted he is, particularly in a time when there are many who vividly remember the Civil Rights movement. <S> If your character is kind, he will have friends. <S> If your character is more interested in making a point, perhaps his life would be more difficult. <S> 1990 is not 1890 and - while prejudice exists in every time - the medical procedures existed. <S> It was part of a protocol to have years of psychiatric treatment to ensure that the person desiring this reassignment truly wanted it, so finding a psychiatrist willing to see your protagonist could be one barrier. <S> Your character might not wish to undergo the psychiatric assessment that was believed necessary. <S> Another barrier that family might encounter is enrolling their son in school while all documents show him as other. <S> Legal name changes are not something your average teenager is allowed to do, so his parents would have to do that for him. <A> For transmen the hormone treatments are steroids. <S> They can find them through a gym, even a clever 14yo who is training harder to keep his body muscular, and probably recognize the natural boost of adrenaline and testosterone hormones from exercise as a good feeling. <S> Being serious about athletics would fast track him to people with more experience using hormones and other methods to body enhance. <S> Ditto, a transwoman who has a sister on birth control or a mother who has had plastic surgery. <S> Hormones are not difficult to figure out, and they are used for the same purposes by cisgendered so they are not at all rare. <S> Don't forget to make him a kid. <S> so the home experience really could be almost anything – including having bigger problems than a teen who is picky about his clothes and what name you use in front of his friends to not embarrass him. <S> This is all relatable family drama. <S> If there are siblings they will each have "issues" ahead of them from the parents' point of view. <S> To outsiders it might seem "exotic" but for this family it is a daily routine, and they have never known otherwise. <A> I don't recall hearing at all about Transgenders in the 90's, and I'm very much a live-and-let-live liberal on all sexual orientation issues. <S> I imagine the vast majority of people would just class this as homosexual behavior and discriminate on that basis, and the history of that struggle is reasonably searchable. <S> Your 'dress like a boy' girl would just be seen as a butch female lesbian. <S> Then and now I had two female gay friends that lived together but closeted in public. <S> They even told their landlord and neighbors they were just friends splitting the rent. <S> It was still (in America) <S> the kind of thing employers (and landlords) could discriminate against (I know at least two CEOs that explicitly did discriminate against homosexuals, male or female).

In the ‘70s hormone injections and assignment surgery were available but extremely rare. He would relate with other young men attempting to masculinize their physique, adopting the behavior and dress of older boys, counting every hair on his lip and chin, and fantasizing about the private lives of celebrities and sports heroes. Most of his experience would depend on his parents (a mom with the internet would have been educating herself since he was the a-typical toddler). Not all cultures react in the same way to gender variance or psychiatry , and then again neither do individual parents and family members

How can I make a compelling character unlikable? I know what goes in to making an unlikable character compelling and engaging but I'm not sure I know how to make them unlikable in the first place. In particular how does one show that a main character who is not the POV character can't, not just doesn't but can't, relate to his fellow man? Are there particular behaviours that are more effectively alienating than others? <Q> They should possess those uncomfortable traits attributed to Lord Byron. <S> They should be mad, bad, and dangerous to know. <S> For example, the captain of the spaceship Theseus in Peter Watts' science fiction novel Blindside meets these criteria. <S> He belongs to a human subspecies that preys on normal humans. <S> Jukka Sarasti is a vampire resurrected by palaeogenetics for junk DNA and the genes of sociopaths and autistics, and given command of a dangerous mission, because he was the best man for the job. <S> It's hard to like someone who is so potentially dangerous to everyone around him, and who could easily be the death of those who work with him and work under him. <S> Mad, bad, and dangerous to know decodes into unpredictable, doesn't play by the rules and can't be relied on, but dangerous to know is still dangerous to know <S> (no further decoding is needed with this trait). <S> What's not to dislike? <A> With a character that is hyper focused on their mission and disengaged with others, you can still accomplish having a compelling character (if you want) or totally disengage with your audience the emotional investment they may have in that character by making them too distant. <S> If you want to still be compelling, think Katniss Everdeen, or really any of Jennifer Lawrence portrayals. <S> She can be very socially awkward on camera, but her characters are still compelling because she is so driven towards her goal. <S> Whether you want the reader to be engaged with this character or not, this would be the best advice I can think of: Intention is Everything Readers can deal with a range of character flaws when the character intends good. <S> We all want to see the good in us, and in others, so even when we cannot relate personally to a character, if they have good intentions, we tend to be engaged. <S> Minor Flaws <S> You don't have to make your character for me to dislike it. <S> Selfish desires that are extremely relatable make a character really hard to like. <S> When a character's goal is self-gain in any way, even reasonable self-gain, you're more likely to pick at their flaws. <S> That would allow you to highlight their social ineptitude and push your audience away from this character. <S> Don't Hate Unless the character is the antagonist (either primary or secondary) <S> Characters to consider Protagonists: Sherlock Holmes, Katniss Everdeen, <S> Supporting Characters: <S> Hermione Granger, Eeyore, Tinker Bell Antagonists: Shylock (Shakespeare's Merchants of Venice), Grima Wormtongue <S> This list would be my best summary of characters that are socially alienated/alienating but still play a part in the plot. <A> Having a character unliked by the other person on a book is easy. <S> Having him unliked by all of the reader is much, much harder (even impossible?). <S> People tend to like and dislike different things. <S> For me, I hate lying character. <S> However, I do like character who are unliked/hated by everyone else in the story. <S> To make a character unliked by the other characters, just make him hurt everyone by having no clue of how to act in society. <S> For the readers, I guess the best you can do is to make them indifferent about this character. <S> Readers won't unlike him, they will just not care. <S> And the first step to make this kind of character is to not tell the character story ("I don't know you, so I don't care about you"). <S> You can also try to make him bad, but I'm not sure it fits with your definition of a "compelling character". <A> Callousness, high disregard for others when it gets in their way, overindulgence in vices, destructive habits and tendencies... <S> there are many human, compelling qualities which also happen to be mostly unlikable. <S> You may pity a certain alcoholic, you may even understand why they ended up where they are, but you could never respect or like them. <A> I highly recomennd a viewing of X-File's "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man." <S> Which is the closest thing to a back story for villain of the X-Files that the viewer really gets... <S> I say closest because it's based on his own semi-autobiographical fiction that was further subjected to unspecified editorial changes. <S> In so far as what we think we know, the character has worked his entire life as a major power player and achieved nothing more than a small apartment that he shares with no one and a quashed dream of a better life as a writer. <S> I think he's pretty accurate in terms of mission oriented and socially disengaged. <S> There's one scene towards the end where we see him who has the power to control world events, put Saddam Hussain on hold, and choose the winner of the next Superbowl and rig important Olympic events... <S> and he's so invested in his work, he gives his closest co-workers ties for Christmas... <S> Identical Ties at that...

avoid causing your audience to hate the character, you may turn them off to the book entirely if you make them so undesirable that the reader can't stand to read about them.

Genre: Deghettoising fantasy - is a high concept fantasy advisable, or a pipe dream? A recent idea I had for a novella to write at some point involves exploring a high concept; what would happen if you could replace a dead loved one that parted with you bad terms? I'm expressly using fantasy as a vehicle for this; making it so the grieving woman is a mage capable of summoning naive, shapeshifting 'daemons' that will do as she commands. She commands it to transform into her sister, who was in life an aspiring musician whose final words she heard from her living sister were 'You'll never play at a concert, because you're terrible', or words to that effect. The resulting consequences involve the mage sister swinging between taking hollow comfort in her replacement sister and becoming blameful and angry at the daemon for 'defiling her memory', and ultimately dying alone and bitter because she never naturally allowed for the stages of grief. I don't know if it's that high concept with regards to literature as a whole, but for fantasy, it's a tad on the artsy side in terms of thematic richness. My question is thus: Are there some concepts too 'highbrow' or 'literary' for genre fiction such as fantasy? Is the prospect of rescuing fantasy from the low-concept ghetto it's trapped in feasible? Worthwhile? Would any critics buy the attempt, regardless of the content? It is fantasy, after all. Edit: To clarify, I myself don't consider fantasy deserving of the ghetto, I'm simply noting the trend of fantasy being looked down upon in the critical community, and its effects on a writer trying to get published. Sci-fi writers who attempt more human concepts (as opposed to exploring technologies and the cosmos) often relabel their genre to 'speculative fiction', and fantasy often does the same, rebranding to 'supernatural', 'horror', et cetera. <Q> Genre is largely a matter of marketing, so the question is really "What audience will your book appeal to?" <S> There's a healthy audience for fantasy, so books are often marketed that way if they can be. <S> If your book crosses over to a mainstream audience, it may be taken off the fantasy shelves, regardless of the content. <S> (Samuel Delany has quite a long discussion of this very topic, in his excellent About Writing .) <S> I should mention, however, that it's not clear to me at all what about your concept is "too literary" for fantasy . <S> It sounds quite typical for a fantasy book, really. <S> Maybe not a mass-market series paperback, but fantasy goes much further than those. <S> There's quite a lot of mainstream fantasy work that's at least as "literary" as this, if not considerably more so. <S> Murakami's IQ84 and Wind <S> Up Bird Chronicles , Delany's Dhalgren , LeGuin's Wizard of Earthsea , Stephenson's Anathem , <S> Beagle's Last Unicorn and Hall's Raw Shark Texts are all unmistakably genre books, all clearly high-concept and literary, and were all quite successful as well. <S> (Or, if you want to go another hundred years or so back, Carroll's Sylvie & Bruno and MacDonald's Lillith show this isn't just a modern phenomenon). <S> With that in mind, you may want to do some more fantasy reading before you start this project, however. <S> It's a pet peeve of many fantasy readers (and writers) when people who aren't familiar with the genre write things that they think are very original, or groundbreaking <S> but that are instantly recognizable tropes and cliches to anyone who reads frequently in the genre. <S> It's even worse when people who are contemptuous of the genre think they can use writing in the genre as an excuse for bad or lazy writing. <S> There are many beyond-excellent writers in the genre: <S> Compete with them, rather than the bottom feeders. <A> This is a tough one to answer because the question comes with a lot of personal bias towards fantasy. <S> I think your concept can be executed beautifully and perform really well. <S> As an avid fantasy reader and writer, I don’t see the fantasy genre as being bad at the moment. <S> There are certainly many books, especially in the super-natural, demon, and magic space that have muddied and sometimes cheapened the genre, but as a whole, fantasy is pretty strong. <S> I’d encourage you to focus on your work, and the people you want to impact with that work, because the cream will always rise to the top and last for decades. <S> If your work is a part of that, that’s great, and I really look forward to reading your work! <S> Great writers and great work rarely need to put down others to be considered worthwhile though, so maybe reward or rethink your preconceptions. <A> If you don't write what you want to write the way you want to write it your writing will be "sub-optimal" (read terrible). <S> That's the official advice of several of my favourite authors to aspiring writers, don't write for your readers, don't write for your editor, certainly don't write for your critics; write for yourself or don't bother at all. <S> In terms of the particular story you propose; I've read this story before, you've changed the more usual relationship roles but it's still just a version of the legend of Orpheus and Eurydice I can think of at least three reasonably modern treatments of it that are either science fiction, fantasy or an interesting mix of both. <S> More generally speaking no <S> there are no concepts too high to be successfully treated in a fantasy setting; like any treatment, of any concept, in any genre, the key is not to allow the setting to overwhelm the message.

If your ambition is to outshine other fantasy novels out now, it may not be the best motivation, but I certainly encourage you to try.

In what order should I name characters? I was wondering if there is a rule or advice in which order to name my characters. For example, if I want to tell that Bob, John and Rob entered the room should I just name them in random order or is there something else I need to consider? I am writing in third person limited if that`s relevant. <Q> First of all, if you say "bob, john and rob entered the room" you should keep that order later. <S> It's better to not mix name ordrer. <S> However, it's not a strict rule and if you want to change the name order, you can. <S> Just make sure to have a good reason for that because it might confus the reader. <S> Now that you know to keep the same order, you just have to figure out what this order must be the first time. <S> There are several rule to consider: <S> Who is the main character? <S> This order often (always?) <S> start with the main character. <S> Who was introduce first ? <S> In Harry Potter, Ron is introduce before Hermione. <S> So, at the begining, you have "Harry and Ron" and, when Hermione join the club, you have "Harry, Ron and Hermione". <S> If the character are all introduce at the same time, list them by order of importance. <S> If the importance is the same between character, you can just list them alphabetically. <S> Make sure to respect the 'group of characters'. <S> In Harry Potter, "Fred and George" are always together. <S> For example : "Harry, Ron, Fred, George and Ginny". <S> Finally, the most important point is for you to be confortable with the order you choose. <A> For example you could simply start with the first one to enter the room: Bob was the first to get to the party. <S> A few minutes later John appeared and both of them started talking, when Rob made his entry, loudly announcing his presence as always. <S> If they appear at the same time you can use this to change the order from the one that will be noticed by other people first. <S> Rob was the first everyone saw - or hear to be precise. <S> Everybody knew he loved to make a show out of everything and wanted to stand in the spotlight wherever he went. <S> John and Bob were the silent type, talking with each other and entering the room right behind Rob, who was already walking towards the buffet. <S> Every character has something that makes them important and some personality traits. <S> These need to be shown to the reader and the first appearance is an important situation where you need to make these character traits obvious. <S> Of course you can also name all three of them first and then start to describe each of them. <S> Bob was the loud one, announcing his presence to everyone that could hear him. <S> John on the other hand was always very silent, trying to stick to the shadows and hoping that nobody would talk to him. <S> Rob was the middle-ground and slowly took a look around to see who was already there. <A> Reverse order of importance. <S> The order of entry is an opportunity for you to create conflict. <S> To do that, you should list them in the order of reaction by the MC, greatest last , so you can move into describing that reaction. <S> If I say "Bob, John and Rob entered" but my MC truly hates (or loves) <S> Bob, it is unlikely the MC even noticed John and Rob behind Bob, and it feels odd to note that detail without any emotion and then switch back to an emotional reaction to seeing Bob. <S> If I say "John, Rob and Bob entered," I can follow that seamlessly with any emotional reaction to Bob we want. <S> This locks the character in the reader's mind much more than just a name, and allows an easy intro later when Bob has something to say: The MC can comment on whatever they noticed was new about Bob. <S> Again, describing that noteworthy detail about Bob is easier if Bob is the last named character. <S> If none of these characters really matter later in the story, and the MC is neutral on all of them, the order doesn't matter. <S> Unless you need them for filler in a party, I'd just leave them out.

You are writing in the order that is important in that situation. In such a case you should keep the order in which they were introduced: Bob, John and Rob entered the party. You should not just randomly throw names around. For example, in Harry Potter, it's always "Harry, Ron and Hermione". So, if you have a longuer list of characters, make sure to keep them together in your longuer list. There is no clear rule and you can vary from situation to situation. If the MC doesn't really have much reaction to any of them, presumably somebody there is important to the story later; I would make them last, and have the MC notice something innocuous about them (the shirt Bob is wearing, or he got a new haircut or finally shaved that stupid goatee, etc).

Writing a song as the hook I am at the free-writing stages of writing my high fantasy novel. I am looking at or experimenting with different methods for hooking the reader and driving their attention towards the rest of my story. I am currently considering the idea using a song as the hook. What can I do as far as formatting goes to make sure that the song is read as a song and that the reader will at least consider being bothered enough to read the song lyrics before continuing on with the rest of the story? <Q> You don't have to start the story directly with the song. <S> Establish a proper setting first where you create a scene with someone who is singing your song. <S> You can make the song stand out with extra indentation and text formatting <S> (italics for example). <S> After that you can always introduce the reader to the rest of the story. <A> For some reason, when I read this question, my thoughts were immediately drawn to the book The Demolished Man by Alfred Bester. <S> At one point in the classic science fiction story, the protagonist is introduced to a song's lyrics. <S> The passage is quoted on a website with the same name as the song, Tenser, Said the Tensor : <S> Her fingers and palm slipped gracefully over the panel. <S> A tune of utter monotony filled the room with agonizing, unforgettable banality. <S> It was the quintessence of every melodic cliché Reich had ever heard. <S> No matter what melody you tried to remember, it invariably led down the path of familiarity to "Tenser, Said The Tensor." <S> Then Duffy began to sing:       Eight, sir; seven, sir;       Six, sir; five, sir;       Four, sir; three, sir;       Two, sir; one!       Tenser, said the Tensor.        <S> Tenser, said the Tensor.        <S> Tension, apprehension,       And dissension have begun. <S> " <S> Oh my God!" <S> Reich exclaimed. <S> Of course, different people have different tastes. <S> But what makes this effective is not only how absurd it is—but that it's short and simple. <S> Speaking only personally, I more often than not find reading song lyrics more of a distraction than not, and will simply skip past them if they are extensive. <S> But sometimes, as in the case of this song, it has content that is either unusual enough or interesting enough that it doesn't just seem like "filler" to me. <S> So, I would suggest making the content of the song memorable, immediately relevant to the story itself in some way (if you can), and not necessarily have the lyrics go on for very long. <S> For instance, you can describe the song as being lengthy and captivating, but still only provide part of it to the reader. <S> (Although if you are particularly attached to the lyrics of the entire song, you could always provide it in full in an appendix.) <A> As a reader I find reading songs (I'm thinking of Tolkien here) in multiple verses something I very much avoid or skip in a book. <S> More effective to me is the dropping of single lines from the lyric into the main text. <S> e.g. the character hears a snatch of song "". <S> Only when the reader is fully interested is it worth putting the complete lyric down in one place. <S> but only quote the relevant lines interwoven with the description. <S> Writing good lyrics is hard enough, when there's no melody or rhythym to go with them - most written down songs in books are terrible (and I do include Tolkien here). <A> Rather than formatting as a method to distinguish your prose from your verse, why not work the distinction into the greater structure of your story... <S> Have your narrators be a pair of scribes, one a story teller and the other a bard. <S> Have the story teller recounting the tale of your main characters so that the bard can craft them into the lyrics of a ballad. <S> At the end of each chapter, have the narrator pause and let the bard recant the events of that chapter in rhythmic, rhyming, poetic verse. <S> That way, your lyrics become something the reader can look forward to. <S> If they choose to skip reading them (as some less word-hungry readers will) that doesn't diminish the story which is whole and complete in your story teller scribe's prose. <A> I think this is a bad idea. <S> I agree that you will be left with a poem, NOT a song, and if that is the case, open with a rhyming poem that reads like a poem and promises the reader something about the story. <S> (The hook). <S> That might work. <S> I do use song in my stories, once or twice per story, but it is always in dialogue: Somebody trying to remind somebody else of a song, or quoting lyrics, or correcting somebody else's singing or quoting of lyrics. <S> You cannot convey music in prose. <S> Even if you wrote sheet music, very few could read that and mentally hear a tune. <S> You can convey how it makes people feel, but I am convinced it will fall flat as music.

What I've found most effective as a reader when an author wishes to convey something important in the lyrics of a song - is to describe the song, it's melody, the performance etc.

What if a concept on my story differs greatly from the common trope? I'm planning of giving a -possibly very unpopular - interpretation to a very loved concept in the genre of my story and I wonder if this could be see as shocking or plain stupid by the average reader. The dilemma regards dragons (in your otherwise classical fantasy settings).If dragons were real they wouldn't be able to fly, their massive size and incredibly thick skin makes them to heavy to do so. In my story dragons have sharp claws and thick skin as an evolutionary trait, because they live in the top of mountains and high plateaus they need sharp claws to climb those said plateaus and mountains and thick skin to survive in a rocky environment. They live in high altitude places and use their wings to glide across the sky, but not fly, once they're in the ground they stay there. Would it be to unusual for the average reader? And if so, would this become a major weak point of my plot?More in general, is it wise to reinterpret a common trope like this? <Q> No fantastical concept is truly off-bars. <S> Personally, I think it'd be refreshing. <S> I'm partial to a coherently-built world where it looks like creatures have been subject to evolutionary pressures like it would in any world. <S> I've got a similar facet in the world <S> I'm writing. <S> For example, wyverns are relatively small and built like pterosaurs, and instead of being terrifying human-eating monsters, they're egg-eating parasites. <S> Also, as there's colossal squid that are more commonplace in the oceans, these corpses fill the ocean with bursts of nitrogen. <S> Said nitrogen fills the oceans with algae; the only way the oceans remain uneutrophied is that there are massive marine filter feeders and intertidal algae eaters; think massive lugworms and semi-aquatic giant slugs. <S> My point is, if you're going to write a world with a fantasy with more realistic dragons, it may hurt marketability for those who just want cool, purely escapist creatures, but <S> I, and many like me, find fantasies much more compelling if there's evidence of a semi-functional ecological system. <A> A monster, is a monster, is a monster, it doesn't really matter what the locals call it per se <S> but your readers will need to know that "when I[you] say 'dragon' I mean X" or they will go with the connotations that they have when they read the word "dragon", dragons are a very specific thing in many cultures and vary widely depending on the cultural context <S> so you need to define you terms early and often if you're going against those expectations. <A> More as an addendum to other answers, but note that there is a real world example to lend credence to your concept: Argentavis Magnificens ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentavis ), an extinct giant South American bird which "may have used mountain slopes and headwinds to take off, and probably could manage to do so from even gently sloping terrain with little effort" (From the wiki). <S> More things in heaven and earth, etc. <A> It sounds like you're treating genre as prescriptive. <S> That is, you pick one and must conform to its rules. <S> Maybe it's better to think about genre as descriptive, a label that marketers or booksellers impose on your book based on what's in it. <S> So, as I've said here before, just write your story. <S> Let the readers assign it a genre, if they're into that sort of thing; let the booksellers figure out which shelf to put it on. <S> That's not your job. <S> Just write your story. <A> confused by the arrival of a winged yet flightless dragon <S> Make the mood of the story self-aware and humourous, not just with the Western trope of dragons but other tropes that line up with the genre you wish to subvert <S> Given your explanation of the origins of such a biological structure, I think that you would want the first suggestion, though blending the two might be a fun experiment (there are many humorous and self-aware stories that also build a rich lore around it). <S> If a dragon evolved like this through evolution and changes in environment over millions of years, I would also be naturally curious about how other mythical creatures have come to be. <S> How did they interact with each other? <S> How deeply do the history of these creatures follow evolutionary thought? <S> Subverting tropes aren't new, but they can often be very fun to do. <S> But there are bad ways and good ways to subvert them. <S> The bad ones throw out half-ideas and blanket statements, implying an agenda against the culture they wish to question. <S> The good ones show that they respect the culture that they're borrowing from, criticizing or poking fun at it while also showing that they respect why people love the originals and that the authors understand them by offering a similar feeling around the substitute. <S> Though another good way is to just be utterly silly with it, which is fine too!

If you're worried about how the readers will take it, I have two suggestions: Build the world as ENTIRELY unique and different, built upon a premise (in your case, "evolution"), filled with other fantastical creatures, some that might be borrowed from other sources or genres, some that you invent yourself, so that the audience isn't so disappointed/

How do I fill time in my story? I am writing a short story, and I have some gaps in time I have to fill. In my story, a girl wants to go to a party later in the day, but there are a few hours in between the events. What could I put into the story so that I'm not just skipping through time? <Q> Skipping through time is totally legitimate, and often the best choice. <S> You can just leap there: <S> "At 7:15--her mother's advice regarding the precise definition of "fashionably late"--she knocked on the door." <S> You can summarize the time: "The rest of the day was filled with preparation, from an appointment with her mother's hairdresser to a near-tantrum at Macy's when the skirt that she had been eyeing for six weeks was suddenly sold out. <S> But finally, at 7:15--her mother's...." <A> If it's not developing characters, or setting up a plot via foreshadowing or simple detail establishment, if there's nothing of interest to note and you yourself, the writer, think it's filler, don't include it. <S> Time skipping is better than time wasting <A> and you're really torturing your readers by expecting them to read it. <S> Skipping a large chunk of time and still showing the reader that it was torturous for the protagonist is simple: <S> "Something, something, not important. <S> ' <S> * * *' <S> "Six excruciatingly dull hours later [your character here] couldn't wait any longer..." <S> Or you can do some detail work about her preparations but again with the torturing thing. <A> Why would you want to fill the gap? <S> Either you have something interesting to say <S> or you don't. <S> But don't write something just for the sake of writting someting, it will be boring. <S> If you are looking for transition, just write something like: "The time to go to the party had arrived, ..." or "Five hours later, ...". <S> If you want to show that the time is passing slowly for the character, you can say that and then describe the attempts that the girl make it pass faster. <S> I would recommand something like: 3h before the party, Girl decided to empty the trash. <S> 2h55 <S> before the party, the trash is empty, Girl decide to clean her room. <S> 2h30 before the party, the room is clean. <S> Girl is bored. <S> 2h20 <S> before the party, Girl notice a fly is buzzing around. <S> etc...

You can use the time to point up how bored and/or nervous your protagonist is, but really you're torturing yourself writing boredom in detail Or you could take an event from elsewhere in the story and insert it in the day, if that seems to work.

Software for writing a book similar to Resnick-Halliday Which is the best software to write a book which is similar to Fundamentals of Physics by Resnick and Halliday? I want to self-publish a book (on physics) on Createspace but have no idea regarding the software would be best suitable for the job. <Q> You could use typical desktop publishing tools like Adobe InDesign or Quark ; you could use XML publishing tools such as MadCap Flare , or Paligo , or DITA ... <S> all of these will suffice - <S> it's a question of your preferred workflow, budget and available learning time to master the workflow enough to get the quality of results you need. <S> though I myself don't personally know anyone who has used LaTeX to set up and produce an entire large document like a textbook, it clearly can be done that way - though given all the references in the documentation to LaTeX not being a layout environment and to letting authors remain authors and leaving the document layout to document designers, one suspects there may be a lack of tools to get top-shelf layout results. <S> I am (amongst other things) a document designer as well as tech writer - were it me, I'd either use InDesign or Flare - though if Affinity finally completes the development of their new Publisher application <S> (Affinity Photo and Designer are directly out-competing Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator) <S> I'd probably seriously consider that too. <S> From a quick look at the Createspace pages, they're expecting either print-ready PDFs or Word files... <S> so quite possibly the best answer is to not overthink this: use whatever tool you are already familair with for producing typical .doc files, whether that's Open Office or Pages or <S> Word or Libreoffice or Google Docs . <A> LaTeX tends to be an industry standard for "mathy/sciency" open works, but you'd have to program some pretty sophisticated layout schemes to get to anything that looks like a high-school math book. <S> LaTeX is a platform, not a software solution. <S> You learn a language and write files using that language <S> and then the platform has the ability to render it in several different ways. <S> Caution: If you've never done any programming, learning LaTeX to the point of proficiency is about as difficult as taking a year's worth of classes. <A> Oh, you definitely have to use LaTeX, but there's more than one way to skin that cat. <S> I recommend a program called <S> LyX. <S> It uses LaTeX under the hood, but it saves you much of the harder coding, and lets you see roughly what the document would look like before you export it to an appropriate format. <S> Its document class choices make it incredibly versatile; I've used It to write books, papers, scripts, you name it.

LaTeX is primarily a science-writing focussed open-source typesetting tool, and is often included as a plug-in to other tools to ease complex equation layout on specific spreads - Heck with time and patience enough, Apple's Pages or Microsoft's Word or Publisher could handle this task, albeit true that I'd not envy either you or your eventual printers if you choose the Microsoft route.

How do I get reliable information on things I don't know anything about? I'm writing a short story about robots and I wanted them to bleed coolant and thought the colour contrast would look good if it was yellow. I've read from multiple sources that coolant can come in many colours and others is just red and green. How can I find sources for mechanical/technology based information when I don't know much myself. <Q> Learn to search efficiently Often, people think it's easy to research something, and they will just tell you to 'google it'. <S> That is not the case. <S> Searching for an information is difficult , and may take a long time. <S> Learn about the tricks, like excluding words from your google search, and first search for the vocabulary pertaining to that field. <S> If you do it right, you may find your answer quickly and without much effort. <S> or Ask a question <S> That is exactly what you just did. <S> If you have a question about astronomy, ask it on a forum/stackexchange that is expert on that field. <S> Lots of people will be glad to see someone have an interest for their field and answer your question. <A> It depends a lot on the kind of thing you want to know. <S> One excellent solution is to talk to experts . <S> If you want to know how a car engine works, call up a local auto repair shop and ask to talk to a mechanic. <S> If you want to know how police deal with crimes, call your local police department and ask for a ride-along. <S> Libraries are excellent resources for this, as you can check the back of the book to see if it lists its sources. <A> Some good answers already on where to look including other SE sites, but I think there's a "Writing" question here about when you should look - and when you shouldn't. <S> There's another way of dealing with this. <S> You'll run into people with deep technical knowledge who will take delight in pointing out what they think are errors and omissions - someone will ask why the coolant is yellow, or what it's cooling, or how you can be sure it's coolant and not hydraulic fluid, but this might not be your problem. <S> If your narrator and the character observing it are not likely to know the answer, it's fine for the writer to say "I don't know" or for the narrator to say "No idea <S> - it's just what [character] told me he saw". <S> If you've written the story so the character should know (for example a story written about a robotics engineer), you can still throw in a naive narrator to filter the story to the reader. <S> They don't have to be stupid, just not well versed in the subject - despite years of medical experience, Watson never quite got the hang of Holmes' approach to deductive reasoning. <S> The most dangerous approach is to try to include specific detail in an area where you don't have firm background knowledge. <S> Your audience (or at least some of your audience) will spot this and will concentrate on what looks like an error instead of on the story. <S> Those of the audience who don't care about the detail will also be distracted - particularly if the detail isn't specifically relevant. <S> It's the story that matters most. <S> "I thrust my spear at the figure and it bled yellow blood. <S> I watched the strange blood form a pool on the ground, then turned away to find the rest of the tribe."

If you want to do research without talking to people, your best bet is published books that are supported by research (that is, they reference original sources in the back of the book). If you want to know how robotics work, look up universities that do robotics research and start calling the appropriate departments.

Are characters' internal thoughts written in past or present tense? Is there a general rule for past vs. present tense for a character's internal thoughts? Direct thoughts in present, while indirect thoughts in past? I'm thinking specifically of 1st person here. I heard a loud screech from beyond the gates, then silence. What was going on? vs. I heard a loud screech from beyond the gates, then silence. What is going on? Does this change in 3rd person? Does one tense imply they're the narrator's thoughts more than the character's, for example? Or is that distinction solely made by context and tone? <Q> Either can be used, as @DPT says. <S> I heard a loud screech from beyond the gates, then silence. ' <S> What is going on?' <S> I thought. <S> Here, effectively, you are presenting the thought as internal monologue. <S> The character is effectively talking to himself. <S> You therefore treat it as if you were writing dialogue - present tense. <S> It doesn't really matter that the character is talking to himself rather than to someone else, nor that the words are thought rather than said out loud. <S> I heard a loud screech from beyond the gates, then silence. <S> What was going on? <S> In this case, as @DPT states, the thought is kept closer to the narration. <S> The character isn't necessarily verbalising the thought, it can be more of a feeling. <S> Consider: when you are startled, you don't necessarily verbalise in your mind 'what's going on' - by the time it would have taken you to verbalise, you're already responding in one way or another. <S> Either way is valid, but they create different effects. <A> Direct thoughts tend to be in present-tense, even if the third-person narration is in the past, though admittedly, my main gauge for this is A Song of Ice and Fire. <S> I'm sure there are many legitimate ways of doing this, but I think the rule of thumb is if you're going to include direct thoughts at all (I personally avoid them) <S> , you treat it like dialogue, like it's being thought there and then. <S> However, this requires a distinction between narration and direct thoughts. <S> In the case of A Song of Ice and Fire, they use italics. <A> Either can work, and you can use both in the same manuscript. <S> Some agents and publishers say that keeping it in third past is a 'closer narration.' <S> "Come with me. <S> " <S> She really ought to grab his hand and pull him. <S> The danger was that real. <S> He had no idea. <S> Sometimes converting to italicized first, present tense may create a closer narration. <S> "Come with me. <S> " <S> I really ought to grab his hand and pull him. <S> The danger is that real. <S> He had no idea. <S> " <S> He had no idea" might be thought or narration in either of those. <S> It is easy to go too far with the italics, especially if you are using them for emphasis as well, in dialog. <S> You want to aim to get the reader immersed in your world and might need to play around with various combinations. <A>

I would like to say that the thoughts take place in the present, given that they are narrating what is happening around them.

How to stop rushing writing I get caught up a lot in what I'm writing and I'm interested in writing a particular scene, but the scene might be chapters away. I don't like writing it before I write the rest and go back to it later, but I often find myself rushing and writing sloppy. It's probably a more personal issue I have to learn to deal with but maybe some of you have dealt with something similar. For example, I've been writing for about 4 hours and I've only gotten about 2000 words despite knowing that should be up to about 3000-4500. I'm more interested in the action-packed scenes than the little-detailed scenes but I know they're just as important. I just can't seem to stop skipping over things. I haven't written for months, so all of my knowledge of writing is basically thrown out the window. <Q> It is not terrible practice to write some parts sloppily, if you later come back and edit them. <S> I am familiar with the desire to get to certain scenes, and yet I need at least the general shape of the scenes before, in order to get the "interesting" scene to play out right. <S> So sometimes I rush through a scene to get to the next one, and then go back and edit the work <S> I know I've done badly. <S> If the scene I desperately want to get to is too far away, I usually just write a version of it, to get it out of my system, and then go back to writing what I should be writing. <S> At this point, I know it's not the final version, but it's a version, so it isn't bothering me so much anymore. <S> But you say you prefer not to do that, so maybe the first option would work better for you. <A> What I do, at least regarding my novel (and my previous short stories), is the following. <S> Lay out a basic plan and outline, what themes I want to explore, who the characters are, all the basic stuff. <S> Write in an explorative manner for the first draft <S> ; run on passion for a while, see what parts work and what don't work, which parts require set-up/foreshadowing, and where and why. <S> Scrap this entire draft, but keep the notes I made on it. <S> Plan and outline everything again, this time with the notes on pacing, what worked, what didn't, what foreshadowing I needed, potential changes required for characters, et cetera. <S> Write a second draft, this one much more focused and capable of being kept around for editing (rather than rewriting). <S> This one has the benefit of including the good parts of the explorative phase with a much more business-like, focused approach. <S> Edit the second draft as intensely as is necessary. <S> After that, there should be a semi-decent manuscript to send to a professional editor in there. <S> Yes, there's a fair bit of revision and rewriting that's required, but it's better than doing lip-service revision and getting stuck in an editing/reediting loop. <A> I write whatever scene my interest and emotions of the moment point me to, irrespective of order. <S> I had assumed that I'd pay for this later, when I had to return and fill gaps and write what I call "glue" to soften the speedbumps between scenes. <S> It turns out that there is almost no scene that is truly permanently boring to me. <S> Eventually I'm in the right mood for the scene, or I have an idea that flips that scene around and makes it more interesting to me, or I have an idea that replaces the scene. <S> Now, writing out of order does mean that I have to return and correct things. <S> The fat guy is now the thin guy. <S> Jane's fear of the dark influences <S> Joe's decisions before Joe finds out that Jane is afraid of the dark. <S> But I find this a small price to pay, in comparison to enjoying writing every scene when I'm writing it. <S> And I find that some recursiveness--not only allowing the earlier scene to influence the later, but allowing the later to influence the earlier--is a good rather than a bad thing. <A> I have this problem myself, and I've finally realized it's not the root problem, it's a symptom of a deeper issue: <S> I'm goal-focused as a writer, but I need to be process-focused in order to produce the kind of writing I want. <S> In other words, I'm rushing towards a goal --finishing a book!--, but not really enjoying the time spent along the way. <S> The great artists I know have goals, plenty of them, and yes, ambitions too, but when it comes to their art, they are willing to spend whatever time it takes, because they enjoy the process. <S> That's what gives their writing (or art, or music, or whatever) <S> that depth and richness we all crave. <S> So instead of rushing to get words down on a page, or to just finish a book (that might not be worth reading, at the end of it all!), find something to love in each scene and each sentence . <S> For me, learning this involved completing far too many books that no one else ever wanted to read. <S> I now realize that all my rushing towards the goal isn't getting me anywhere <S> I want to go. <S> It's better-- and paradoxically, more efficient <S> , in the long run --to spend the time now, and make it great. <A> You can enrich your story by doing a world-building revision pass. <S> I don’t mean dropping in a bunch of setting descriptions to slow the reading. <S> Work in setting details with language that conveys an atmosphere, have the characters act upon and react to props unique to the spirit of that place, and include smells and textures that engage readers’ senses.

With me, I try to find a balance between writing 'sloppily' and generally focusing on the scenes I'm interested in and writing in a more focused way.

Does point of view matter drastically? I've looked at a few other questions and answers but nothing that I was really looking for. The point of view is a little confusing at the beginning (and probably) throughout the novel. It starts with one of the characters, but not the main character. It's in third person but follows along with her day-to-day life. Somewhat near the end of the chapter or the beginning of the next chapter it's going to be focused on the main character and following what he is going through (he has amnesia). Later on, I want to write a scene about two of the characters sharing a secret about the main character but I don't want the main to hear it. So the point of views continuously swaps around. Does it matter dramatically? I could always start the novel off with the main character not understanding what is happening, but I thought it would've been interesting to see what one of the reoccurring characters often do. <Q> There are better and worse ways to do this. <S> It can be difficult and needlessly confusing to have <S> multiple first-person narrators --difficult to give them authentically different voices, and confusing to the reader. <S> "Close" third-person narration, which closely follows one specific character and his or her point of view, has many of the same problems with POV switching. <S> But the older style of third-person narration, with an "omniscient" narrator, who knows everything, is a stand-in for the author, is not any given character in the book, and has a "god's eye" perspective on the events, can accommodate following multiple characters relatively easily and gracefully. <S> The basic trade-off is this -- the closer you are to any given character, the more disorienting it will be to switch away from him or her. <S> So your best move might be to give yourself a little distance from your characters <S> --describe them more externally than internally, more like a movie than like a diary. <S> With that said, the main concern I would have is that the omniscient narrator is somewhat out of style right now. <S> Using one may give your book a bit of an old fashioned feel, since modern readers tend to find the technique a bit artificial and unrealistic. <S> However, these trends change all the time. <S> It might be the right time for the pendulum to swing back. <A> If you look at older literature, Victor Hugo for example, stories do not necessarily start with the main character, and switch between multiple POVs. <S> At the same time, you need to be clear on whose thoughts and emotions we follow in each scene. <S> Head-hopping, that is jumping from the inner thoughts of one character to another within the same scene, can become very confusing to the reader. <S> Some scenes are better told from the POV of one character than another. <S> That makes for a way to hide information from a character, while giving it to the reader. <S> However, if then your character is trying to find out what the reader already knows, the scene is going to feel redundant. <S> tl;dr: <S> you can switch POVs as often and to as many POVs as suits your story. <S> However, make sure there is never a confusion on whose POV you're following at any given moment, and avoid redundancy, with characters telling each other, or asking about, something the reader alredy knows through a different POV. <A> An example would be in Enduring Love. <S> This is a story about a scientist who witnesses a disaster, along with a devout Christian man. <S> The Christian man makes a religious remark, and he says, to the effect of 'yeah, it's not for me'. <S> Said man obsesses over converting him to the point of stalking him way after he's relevant for testimonies, and is strongly implied to also be homosexual (as he hates the fact he has a wife). <S> Now, the scientist becomes paranoid about this man and takes precautions, which his wife doesn't understand. <S> This provides tension, until eventually the Christian stalker nearly kills his wife, gets driven to suicide, and traumatises them all. <S> For the most part, this is a good book, and there's two main POVs: <S> The scientist's, and the stalker's. <S> However, the thing that I most disliked about the book was its two uses of POV changing to randomly switch to the wife's POV. <S> It's not that the wife isn't important or that the wife's POV wasn't worth exploring, but it was inconsistency without enough of a use (only two chapters), especially given most of what was said were thoughts easily gleaned from her husband's chapters <S> (for example, she thinks he's paranoid/insane/ <S> a closeted gay who's contemplating an affair and doesn't know how to deal with this, and is asking herself if their marriage is salvageable). <S> With this in mind, ask yourself: Is this single-use/rare-use alternative POV necessary? <S> Or can most of the story that's being told be told using a more consistent method? <S> Because shifting between every minor character ever is a good way to give a reader whiplash.

Generally speaking, you want to offer consistency in your style, and erratically switching to a minor characters' POV for one random chapter can appear jarring. So in and of itself, there is nothing wrong with using multiple POVs and switching between them.

Post scriptum in my soft diary I write what happens to me every day as my diary. I don't write them on paper, but I typeset them in a word-processing system (soft diary), so I can simply edit them and add/remove anything at any time . I know the application of post scriptum in letters which contains information that one wants to add to a letter after finishing it. But I'm wondering if writing post scriptum is technically sound after each entry of my diary. I doubt about it because I can edit an entry and add what I want to say to it without writing a post scriptum. However, editing needs some extra effort to find the right place in the entry for the insertion of that new piece of information. Additionally, sometimes I'd like to emphasize some important information, and post scriptum would be a good spot to put that information. So, is it a good practice to have post scriptums in my diary in the way I described above? <Q> I would continue to use PS. <S> Leave your diary as written, and if you add something, the PS tells you that you added it, after some thought, and if it were me that is worth knowing too: PS the next day it occurred to me... <S> PS <S> It took me a week to think of it, but John probably wasn't trying to be mean at all, ... <S> PS Reading over this <S> I think I forgot one of the best parts ... <S> So your PS is not just "stylistic", but informative as well; reflecting how our minds and what we know and feel evolve with reflections on what happened. <A> There is a discussion of the use of postscripts in email messages on English Language & Usage . <S> The discussion was closed as being primarily opinion based, but one thing to consider is that a postscript can be used as a deliberate style choice rather than just adding something at the end because you are unable to edit what you had written before. <S> For example, adding something brief and very much off topic at the end of a message in which the notation itself would not be appropriate. <S> One of the answers in that discussion is my own. <S> I won't quote it here, but I'm somebody who has always used postscripts stylistically—never in the "too difficult to edit" context in which they originated. <S> I will make specific mention, however (as I did there), of Karen Hertzberg's blog post " <S> What PS Means and How to Use It Correctly in Your Email" . <S> It expands on the idea of using postscripts stylistically. <S> But all of that aside, you can literally do whatever you want when writing your own diary entries. <A> In the pre-digital days, post-scripts were used because you didn't want to have to rewrite out the entire letter again. <S> But people still use them now, even in emails, sometimes, because they serve the functions of 1) establishing an internal chronology of "this first, then that" and 2) they set something aside as a separate thought, like a parenthetical. <S> Your diary is for yourself. <S> You can establish any conventions you want for it. <S> If you were publishing, you would want to erase evidence of the process, and just have the final result. <S> But for a personal archive, the post-scripting process gives valuable info about the progression of your thoughts.

But as a record of your thoughts and experiences, it is probably more useful, for personal archival purposes, to use post scripts than to edit.

Describing a strong sexual attraction (on first sight) I wish to describe strong physical attraction on first sight by a human towards an alien. A Human meets an Alien but the Alien is extremely beautiful (sorry Humans!) and would wipe the floor of the most beautiful Human. What I have written is: They were obviously viscerally attractive to Humans of that there was no doubt. However, I am not sure this phrase conveys what I want to describe. What techniques can I use to better convey this attraction? <Q> You are telling that the human is attracted to the alien. <S> Why not show instead? <S> A picture is worth a thousand words, they say, so why not create that picture? <S> Consider what attraction feels like - is there a physiological reaction? <S> Are there thoughts the character is suddenly thinking, that have nothing to do with the situation they are in? <S> You might want to take a look at how other authors describe a character's response to supernaturally attractive creatures. <S> For example, from Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series: The newcomer was the real thing. <S> She was grace. <S> Beauty. <S> Art. <S> As such, she was not so easily quantified. <S> [...] Thinking back later, I couldn't clearly remember her facial features or her body, beyond a notion that they were superb. <S> Her looks were almost extraneous. <S> [...] <S> Or maybe the hunger was mine. <S> In the space of five seconds, my attention to detail fractured, and I wanted her. <S> I wanted her in the most primal sense, in every way I could conceive. <S> Whatever gentle and chivalrous tendencies my soul harbored suddenly evaporated. <S> Images swarmed over me-images of unleashing the fires burning in me upon willing flesh. <S> Conscience withered a heartbeat later. <S> (Jim Butcher, Blood Rites , chapter 12) You can also describe the alien itself. <S> However, @Amadeus is not wrong - different people find different things attractive. <A> Are you trying to describe this in a clinical sense, or are you trying to get the reader caught up in the feeling? <S> Forget aliens for a moment, suppose you are just trying to say that a human woman is pretty. <S> You could write, "Sally was very pretty", or "Any man who saw Sally was immediately impressed by her physical appearance." <S> Or, "Sally's physical appearance tended to elicit an automatic physical response from most men who saw her." <S> Etc. <S> Okay, that conveys the idea, but frankly, it's not very interesting. <S> Unless you WANT to sound very clinical and scientific, I wouldn't say it that way. <S> I don't claim to be a great poet, but I could easily do better. <S> Not original, but I heard once, a character says to his girlfriend, "Once I looked up at the sky and it was the most perfect shade of blue, the most beautiful color that I could imagine. <S> Later I said to myself that it must have been a dream, there couldn't really be such a color. <S> And then today I looked into your eyes ..." <S> BTW <S> I think you'd need to justify your premise for the reader to find it convincing. <S> I can look at a mountain or a wild animal and say, "Wow, that's really beautiful", but I don't think of that in a romantic or sexual sense. <S> If someone asked me, "Which is more beautiful, the Milky Way at night or your girlfriend?", I'd say that such a question is impossible to answer. <S> They're two different things. <S> Both beautiful, but each in its own way. <S> There's no way to compare the two. <S> Unless your aliens look just like people, I doubt it would occur to anyone to compare their beauty to the beauty of people. <A> There's too many adverbs and phrases that are equivalent to adverbs (of that there was no doubt). <S> Why not show, rather than tell? <S> Something akin to: ' <S> Their features were soft, inhumanly so. <S> As strange as it was, humans were outright ugly compared to them.'

You therefore need to consider whether the alien is question is extremely attractive to one particular character, or somehow attractive to many characters with different tastes.

What are some examples of an inciting incident that would force a character to go on a quest or adventure? I've noticed that my novel is missing a really strong inciting incident and I can't think of anything strong enough to suffice. The only inciting incidents I'm familiar with seeing in nearly every book is having the protagonist's family be taken or in a position of danger or dump the character in a new environment that they have no choice but to go through. Neither idea works for my novel so I have no idea what to do and can't find any more ideas anywhere. My original incentive was to have my character go on this quest because he was having debilitating visions that he couldn't control and going on this quest would give him answers and a way to stop it. But I've found that this is way too weak to work. (By the way, his quest is to go and find a goddess who has been captured because only he has the knowledge to find her) (Also, the world is at stake but they don't know that) <Q> People go looking for treasure, to escape poverty. <S> Knowledge can be an inciting event. <S> Suppose the MC knows she and her village are powerless to confront an evil overlord, but in having these dreams of a trapped goddess she believes are real visions, the MC realizes if she can save the goddess and unleash her power, the goddess will owe her a favor and help fight the evil overlord oppressing her village. <S> (And also save the world.) <S> They are bored with the village and the sameness of it all, they aren't interested in ANY of their romantic prospects, they are about to be forced to choose an empty life: They run away. <S> Love or Altruism can be an inciting incident. <S> In The Hunger Games, the girl volunteers to take her sister's place, out of love. <S> Altruism can work similarly, our MC loves somebody, relative or not, that needs something or wants something they cannot get themselves. <S> Medicine, a magical amulet, whatever. <S> ("Friend" could instead be a parent, grandparent, a mentor, a teacher, a sibling, anybody they love that cannot go themselves.) <S> The quest is to get something. <S> It could be a physical thing, a favor, some kind of knowledge, or just excitement, or justice, or power, or to find love. <S> It can be a personal thing, or a thing on behalf of somebody else. <S> Give your character something they want and want very badly. <S> That is why they risk their lives on this quest. <A> Remember, even in fantasy we're looking for situations we can relate to. <S> For that reason the most compelling inciting incidents change for different phases of life: For a young child, curiosity is enough for an active entry into the narrative ( Alice in Wonderland ) and being unwillingly placed in an unfamiliar situation <S> is a relateable passive one ( Spirited Away ). <S> For a young grownup, ambition, competition, adventure and the promise of romance are compelling ( Master of the 5 Magics ). <S> For a more established grownup, one with a family, the stakes need to be higher. <S> Maybe there's a war, or the world is in danger ( Independence Day ). <S> Or maybe it's just all part of the job ( Lethal Weapon ). <S> For an elder adult, the storyline might be re-entering the world after losing a spouse, or recommitting to living life to the fullest, or deciding to have one last adventure (any recent Morgan Freeman movie), or being forced out of comfort by circumstances beyond one's control ( Remains of the Day ). <S> Of course, these are not hard and fast rules, but they make your job easier. <S> Let's assume, for instance, your hero is a young man without a family of his own. <S> You've got a golden opportunity here with the visions. <S> They aren't just debilitating, they're about something. <S> Is it a golden palace, with a temptingly empty throne? <S> A beautiful woman (the goddess)? <S> Exotic lands? <S> You've got both the carrot and the stick here, something to pursue (the content of the visions) and something to try to avoid (the visions themselves). <A> The antagonist is often (not always) <S> the force behind the inciting incident. <S> It's literally the antagonist's job to be the thing that drives the protagonist forward. <S> If you don't have an antagonist, your protagonist has no reason to move. <S> So consider: What is preventing your character from finding the goddess? <S> If nothing is preventing him, why not? <S> My own beta described this phenomenon as " someone in this story needs to want something ". <S> Either your protagonist needs to want to find the goddess despite obstacles standing in his way (in which case whatever alerts him to the existence of the goddess and the benefits of finding her is your inciting incident), or someone wants to stop him from finding the goddess badly enough to take action to prevent him (which would result in your inciting incident, as your protagonist narrowly escapes whatever the antagonist does to stop him). <S> Figure out what's standing in your protagonist's way. <S> Once you know that, you'll be able to craft an appropriate inciting incident based on that antagonist.

Our MC for the sake of their friend's well-being or happiness chooses the quest. Restless curiosity can be an inciting event; for men or women. Greed can be an inciting event. If your character has no reason at all to go on the Plot Quest, then you're missing more than an inciting incident - you're missing a functional antagonist. For an adolescent, the overall theme is almost always growing up, which can mean different things for different people. So almost any inciting incident can work for this age including feeling dissatisfied or suffocated, or even seemingly random decision making ( Catcher in the Rye ). The family would need to be in danger ( Taken ), or maybe the family is penniless and starving, or perhaps some larger big picture situation calls.

How to avoid becoming frustrated while writing Very often when I start writing something, mainly notes for my work (I'm a researcher) but other times personal thoughts, I feel that my writing speed can't keep up with my stream of consciousness. Just to give an example, I was writing down on my notebook a question that I wanted to post on interpersonal.stackexchange but, as soon as I started with the main question, I ended up thinking about all the details that I want to add. I became frustrated at my inability to produce something and after a while I stopped writing (which pushed me to write this post). In addition, I usually keep rereading what I've just written again and again and again, and keep changing it but without adding much to the subject.I think I spent more than half an hour to write down this question. Apart from writing more and more often to train the "writing muscle" what would you suggest to avoid this situation? <Q> This is something that has happened with me dozens and dozens of times. <S> I have been following the below steps to keep this problem at bay. <S> Jot down SHORT POINTS first. <S> Only when this list of short points is complete, should you begin to elaborate. <S> Don't stop mid-sentence to think about the words you've written so far. <S> It will stress you out completely. <S> Besides, you will find it difficult to finish your work. <S> Don't chase an unattainable idea of perfection. <S> Trying to be perfect is great, but overthinking everything and being OVERTLY CRITICAL of your work is horrible. <S> I started following a 75% satisfaction rule. <S> Right now, this might seem stupid, but to prevent over - analysing everything, you need to come up with some percentage that will satisfy your need of perfection for now. <S> Realise that writing in A FLOW is fun. <S> However, stopping abruptly time and again might cause loss of ideas, so, just try to keep the rhythm of things going. <S> Practice this over shorter paragraphs first. <S> Slowly build your way up. <S> I hope this helps. <A> Don't focus on getting whole sentences put together while you're in idea mode, just get the concepts you want to speak to on the page. <S> Focusing on ideas when you start a project allows you to get all the information you want to use in one place. <S> Then you can go back and flesh out the individual sections later once you have finished the busy bit and can take some time with the finer details. <A> Something to come to terms with is the fact that writing is frustrating and hard. <S> I love writing, yet I often procrastinate about writing projects to hold off on the pain of staring at a screen and struggling to get my thought onto it in a coherent way. <S> That being said, I think I can offer some specific help with your situation. <S> DPT mentioned speech-to-text software in a comment. <S> I think that can be a lot of help. <S> You mentioned that you struggle with rereading your work too much. <S> Rereading is important, but if it is limiting your ability to write, you may want to try something like ilys <S> that doesn't let you see what you have written and only shows the last letter you typed. <S> Both of those suggestions are limited to when typing on a computer. <S> As a more general tip, I would suggest that you try to turn your sporadic ideas of what to write into a rough outline in your mind. <S> You can this outline if you think of something else, but having a sense of direction could help you fight off the frustration. <S> Lastly, like you mentioned, writing more should help you with this. <S> I don't know your mind like you do, so I can't offer the solution you need. <A> Your frustration stems from having a goal --communicating your thoughts <S> externally --that isn't being reached by your process of writing. <S> This will help you get used to the actual process of writing itself. <S> If you start to get frustrated while doing it, just remind yourself that there is no right or wrong way to do it, and no concrete goal state, you are just using this time to get comfortable with your own writing style and voice. <S> For me, I use my time here on SE for that kind of writing, more process-focused than goal-focused. <S> For you, you might need to take even one more step back to remove yourself from all internal or external pressures to excel.

The more you write the better you should become at fighting this specific problem. I'd suggest starting a diary, or a dream journal, or perhaps some other form of personal writing that isn't intended for an audience, and that isn't focused around a specific goal. If I felt that 75% of what I wrote seemed perfect, I let it remain as it is.

Can I state a fact in a first person story? If I have a sentence such as this: Footsteps were heard coming down the alley. Can I use that in a first-person story? I don't think it's technically third-person, but it sort of feels like it's coming from an omniscient narrator. I'm trying to avoid using the word "I" a lot: I heard, I saw, I felt, etc. <Q> The subject of your sentence can be something other than the MC when you're writing in first person. <S> For example: My phone rang or Footsteps were coming down the alley behind me <S> You don't need to always narrate in the active: "I saw", "I heard", "I conquered". <S> You don't even need to specify your character's presence - it's assumed. <S> My first example could just as easily have been "the phone rang". <S> There is, however, a crucial difference between my second example, and your example. <S> When you say "were heard", there's the immediate question "by whom". <S> Since the story is told in first person, this question should never arise. <S> The answer is always "I - the narrator - heard". <S> On this account, your instinct was right. <S> But if the footsteps "were coming", then it's implied that the narrator heard them, there's no need to specify "I heard footsteps coming." <A> This is perfectly valid, it's just a more passive variant on the first-person formula. <S> The active version is 'I heard footsteps coming down the alley', but this is fine. <S> Especially so if the narrator is supposed to think in a rational or objective/scientific way; passive tone is often a requirement in scientific papers. <A> You can do that, yes. <S> What is a bit weak in your example is the passive form. <S> Generally, you want to avoid the passive expression ("footsteps were heard") where you have a valid alternative with the active expression ("Jon heard footsteps"). <S> It is just more fluent and easy to the reader's eye, even though not wrong per se.

It is correct in english grammar, and it doesn't break the immersion of the POV - unless you are writing with a very strictly subjective point of view, where nothing exists outside the character's perception (for example, if you are writing their thoughts, their stream of consciousness, etc.)

How to research sex for writing? I'm not writing erotica - I'm writing fantasy and sci-fi. But sometimes my characters make love, sometimes in ways I cannot be familiar with. In one story, it's two guys (I'm a girl). In another story, there's a character who uses a wheelchair. How do I research this, so I can get the relevant scenes right? I have gay friends, and I have a friend who uses a wheelchair, but I can't exactly ask them about positions and the like. As for Google, Google is all too happy to provide me with porn. And the thing about porn is a) I'm not actually comfortable watching it, and b) porn is not realistic. I need to understand what a scene like that would really be like, what's realistic. Of course, since I'm not writing erotica, I can lower the curtain on a scene, describe more of what the characters feel than what's actually going on, etc. But the thing is, to describe a scene, I need first to see it, and then to pick out what I want to focus on. And here, particularly in the second case, I see a lot of question marks. "Lowering the curtains" has to be my artistic choice, not an "I don't actually know what's happening, so I'm going to skip it". <Q> You might find that research isn't quite so important. <S> If you're describing a banquet, you don't need to picture how the guests chew and swallow their food. <S> For the scene with the two guys, you can focus on the foreplay - kissing, caressing, nibbling, petting, arousal, i.e all the things a person of either gender can imagine as pleasurable - and pay less attention to the genital stuff. <S> If you feel compelled to describe the physical positions during coitus, it's also going to depend on how (a) experienced and <S> (b) adventurous each character is. <S> The mechanics are pretty simple: a guy comes by having his penis stimulated, usually involving friction - mouth, hand, anus, groin-to-groin, etc. <S> The two guys can take turns, or they can stimulate each other simultaneously. <S> But honestly, how they come is less interesting to the reader than how they each feel and behave - are they nervous? <S> confident? <S> over-eager? <S> submissive? <S> playful? <S> dominating? <S> clumsy? <S> tender? <S> overwhelmed? <S> shouting "ride me cowboy"? <S> For the guy in a wheelchair, sex may be more complicated. <S> What's the nature of their disability? <S> If it's a spinal injury, you'll need to address whether they can feel anything "down there". <S> If they can't, there are special techniques to stimulate the penis to erection/ejaculation, but you'd have to research this - <S> maybe the rehabilitation wing of a local hospital might be willing to help you. <S> If the guy in the wheelchair can achieve an erection through the usual means, then it comes down to how restricted they are in adopting a desired position. <S> Beyond that, see my comments in my second paragraph. <S> I applaud you for the diversity of your characters, and not denying them the pleasure of physical contact. <S> Most adult readers have experience of giving love and being loved; in the scenarios you've described, your task is to connect the reader with that experience. <S> The mechanics are only relevant if they're important in the story . <A> IMO, pornography is realistic enough; seek out the "homemade" variety. <S> I think you can tell if these are scripted or being "acted". <S> Particularly if there is any hint of role playing; it isn't realistic, and probably if there are multiple camera angles, it isn't realistic. <S> (An exception for iPhone video, where the hand holding it can move about). <S> At least some of them really are <S> just a fixed camera focused on the bed and two people going at it. <S> Be aware, sometimes initial minutes are cut as "boring", getting undressed or ready. <S> Whether you have experience or not, find a wheelchair to sit in, perhaps at the E.R. of the local hospital. <S> Imagine for yourself what could be done. <S> You can find on porn a picture of a naked guy with an erection sitting, so you can see the logistics problem. <S> Now wrap a wheelchair around him, and see what's possible. <S> It will be truly be easier if you are sitting in one! <S> I'm pretty sure fellatio would be pretty easy for a guy in a wheelchair; perhaps something like a backwards cowgirl could be executed; or in that link click on the "seated" tag and there are dozens of positions shown, I see 2 or 3 that might be possible (for a flexible girl). <S> Don't sell your imagination short. <S> A few pictures to get the mechanics right, and the rest is fair game. <S> Nobody else is exactly like your characters, so as long as you don't break the laws of physics or biology <S> I think you'll be fine. <A> Stop in at the library or even book shop and head to books that you know are likely to have sex scenes, find them and read through. <S> Keep in mind <S> you are reading romance through to erotica which is not your genre so it doesn't need to be as detailed or explicit as what you're reading. <S> However it will give you a good idea about the flow of sex scenes, and what's included. <S> Normally it's not so much about mechanics and more about the chemistry and emotions. <S> To be honest, when I write sex scenes I get drunk af and then worry about editing them later. <S> For what it's worth, my female cousin is in a wheel chair and has an active sex life. <S> They do it in bed. <S> Part of your issue is that being in a wheel does not give enough information about the disability. <S> You need to know what their abilities are, how much movement they have, <S> how much feeling they have. <S> My cousin has spina bifida. <S> She is able to get herself out of her wheel chair and onto bed. <S> She can stand for very short periods of time. <S> She dresses herself. <S> I've never read or seen it so <S> can't vouch too much for it, but ' <S> Me before you' is a romance with a male in a wheelchair. <S> I assume they have sex. <S> Watching and reading that may help.

I would suggest reading multiple sex scenes. Take picture of it, or yourself in it. Besides that, aid your own imagination with props.

How to interpret a language from a non-speaker's perspective? I want to create a believable conversation between a character who speaks Mandarin and English and a character who speaks English but does not speak Mandarin. Basically, the Mandarin speaker is supposed to code-switch, but (s)he forgets and instantly says, "好", which means "OK" or "good". I'm guessing that the non-speaker will interpret it as "how" or maybe "ha", but it is possible that the non-speaker will not interpret it as anything meaningful. As a first-language Mandarin speaker, the language just enters my brain automatically. I don't think about grammar or tones. Grammar is something that sounds good to the ear. Tones are an intrinsic part of the word. Every bilingual code-switches, so that the bilingual uses the language that the other person understands. However, the bilingual can slip unconsciously and leak out a foreign word. I would like to know how this will be perceived by the non-speaker. <Q> The meaning of words can be inferred from context. <S> For example, in his book Elantris , Brandon Sanderson has a character insert words from his (fictional) mother-tongue into conversation. <S> Raoden breathed a sigh of relief. <S> "Whoever you are, I'm glad to see you. <S> I was beginning to think everyone in here was either dying or insane." <S> "We can't be dying," the man responded with a snort. <S> "We're already dead. <S> Kolo?" <S> (Brandon Sanderson, Elantris , chapter 1) We can infer that 'kolo?' <S> means something along the lines of 'understand?' <S> Most commonly, I have seen such inserts used for curses, exclamations of extreme surprise, or alternatively - endearments. <S> (For examples of the last, you might be familiar with 'imzadi' ('bloved') from Star Trek, or you might remember how Gomez Addams calls Morticia "Cara mia"). <S> What all those usages have in common is that the tone implied from the conversation (or sounded, in the case of film) is sufficient to convey meaning, and is more important than the exact meaning. <S> However, I have deliberately brought above an example that is a bit more complex, and yet easily understood, to show how you don't need to limit yourself to exclamations and endearments. <S> Inserts of particular foreign words into a character's conversation can be, and often are used as, a recognisable "verbal tic". <S> One important note: you can't use a Chinese character to represent a word - if you're writing in English, you've got to use transliteration . <S> The Chinese squiggly makes no sound in my mind, it's a blank. <S> I can't tell one character from another. <S> In another similar discussion on this site, someone compared Chinese characters to squished spiders; the fact that I couldn't tell a squashed spider from an actual Chinese character says something about me, and nothing about Chinese characters, but it is true. <S> And, more importantly, it will be true of your readers, unless you're writing for a bilingual public only. <A> A good approach is how you would perceive this in a language that you don't know. <S> Maybe watch some foreign language tv and see how much of the conversation you can guess from context, intonation, and gestures. <S> Quite a bit, I have found, but only very basic things. <S> So when you write your story, think of how the non-Mandarin speaker will perceive the situation and the other person, and what he might read into was was being said. <S> He might be able to guess the meaning, if the situation is straightforward and the Mandarin speaker is open and without guile, but if the conversation is difficult, the situation is unclear, or the intent of either of the two speakers is problematic, then misunderstandings are likely even among two native speakers, and it will become rather impossible to guess what a person says in a foreign language. <S> Look at the situation and the other person from inside the listener. <A> I think you have a good idea in your second paragraph - look for words and spellings that sound similar to the word or phrase used. <S> This gives potential for comedy or misunderstanding - for example the French puns in <S> Oh! Calcutta! <S> and just about anything <S> Antoine de Caunes ever said on Eurotrash - which could be used to further the plot or develop characters. <S> If there's no similarity to a word in the non-speaker's language, you could try a description of the sound. <S> In the [English translation] of Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose , Adso tells of William saying a word in his own language (English) which he (Adso) didn't understand, but which he didn't like as it had "an obscene hissing sound". <S> English readers (and those of the original Italian audience who spoke English) would have been able to guess the word based on the circumstances in which it was used.

In short: Understand the situation and the motivation of the two characters.

When is it okay to say the word “now” in a past tense story? I’ve seen it done in Harry Potter I just don’t understand when its okay to do it, like can I say something like “John walked away from the house and was now walking along the road” or not? When is it acceptable? <Q> Think of "now" as a thumbtack that refers to a specific moment. <S> That moment can be in the past. <S> Some examples <S> : Jane had been a student. <S> Now she was a programmer. <S> or Jane looked up, drearily. <S> Now, now , of all times, he was going to interrupt her? <S> or Jane ran round the house. <S> Now the car was gone. <S> Where could it be? <A> <A> It is acceptable when relating a sequence of actions or events. <S> Jake fed the chickens, then walked the rows of the tomato garden and pulled six new weeds that had sprouted, and now he was throwing a ball for the dog, Reggie. <S> Reggie, panting and waiting for another throw, closed his mouth and turned his attention sharply toward the dirt road that led to the house. <S> Jake turned, too. <S> It was that green truck again. <S> Curtis from the dry grocer, Mama's friend. <S> The whole thing is past tense, but some of it is more past than others. <S> In the example, I don't want to spend a lot of time describing how Jake fed chickens or pulled weeds, those aren't important at all. <S> I just want to indicate he did his chores and time went by. <S> He didn't just step outside, throw a ball and hear a truck. <S> I could have said that, "He did a few chores and was playing with the dog, throwing a ball for the dog to fetch." <S> But to me that sounds too vague, for readers I want them to see Jake doing those mundane chores without boring them to tears. <S> When you are telling a story in the past tense, there is still a "present" in the novel from the viewpoint of the characters, not the narrator. <S> On a given page there is stuff they have a past, deeds done and things learned, and a future, deed to do and things to learn. <S> That is the "Now" being referred to. <S> "Now" is used to return the reader to the present state of the character (from the character's point of view) after you the author have glossed over some time (from minutes to decades) by reciting a short history of that time. <A> If English if not your first language the usage of "now" is difficult to fully comprehend. <S> It has many nuanced translations but is most often used to mean "in this moment". <S> "Now Daddy didn't take too kindly his only daughter dating a black boy." <S> "They put the homeless kids in cages, now that ain't right." <S> Your sentence is acceptable.

In a past tense story, "now" means "at the moment in question," not at the "present." It is also used to emphasise a statement.

How can I state what is written on a sign? Is it okay to write: "Shop Name", read a sign hanging above the shop. Should I use italics for the shop name or use any other type of formatting? I wasn't sure how to do this. This is for fiction. <Q> In nonfiction, refer to the style guide of the institution, school, or publisher. <S> There's been a tendency lately to drop all punctuation (I personally dislike this) which probably originated from Cormac Mccarthy. <S> I'd pick simple quotation marks around the store name, but as I said, it's a matter of personal preference and consistency <A> There is no 'correct' format. <S> And even if there was it would be governed by POV. <S> Understanding POV is essential before even posing the question. <S> "Somewhere in a shit-hole town in a shit-hole country stands The Best Exotic Trump Hotel." <S> Hillary read the golden sign above the door, <S> The Best Exotic Trump Hotel "Bill, I'm not staying here. <S> I'd rather pitch a tent in the woods," she said. <S> Or it works the other way around . <S> . . <S> Hillary read the golden sign above the door, "The Best Exotic Trump Hotel". <S> She returned to the car. <S> I'm not staying here. <S> I rather pitch a tent in the woods . <S> The question is who saw the sign? <S> Is it 3rd person narrator or an active character. <A> Any way you like as long as you, as the author, clearly understand what is going on. <S> You may eventually find that an editor or publisher has a particular take on how this is handled but during the writing process <S> clear signposts for you as the author are more important than the "right" way. <A> To add to what Surtsey said , it's also a good thing to make this as organic as possible. <S> For example: The flashing neon warned him, but the light still assaulted Bob as he rounded the corner. " <S> Trump Tower" blinked in shimmering golden hues, casting a pallor on all those below. <S> (or) The creaking caught Bob's attention. <S> The sign rocked back and forth in the cold winter air outside the tavern. " <S> Ye Olde Trump Tower," he mouthed silently, breath clouding before him. <S> The point being that you're avoiding a mere infodump; the sign is part of the atmosphere and setting that you're immersing your reader in. <A> Most of the time, when I write in the name of a store or a shop, I either use italics or quotation marks. <S> Here's a quick example: As Angela made her way down the street, a "Beverly's Boutique" sign caught her eye. <S> Or As Angela made her way down the street, a Beverly's Boutique sign caught her eye. <S> Either method will work, as long as you find a way to clearly offset the text from the rest, marking it as something read by the character in your story, or by the person in your account. <S> In my own writing, I've just used quotation marks to show what's on the sign. <S> If you take it to an editor later, they can let you know if it doesn't work.

I believe for fiction writing, though, that either italics or quotation marks are acceptable for signs and written script as read by people within the story. In fiction, pick whatever you like and be consistent about it.

How to write dialogueless flashbacks? In my trilogy, the protagonist and deuteragonist share a mental link, allowing them to communicate with each other telepathically. A side effect of this telepathy is that they enable the duo to observe a series of dialogueless flashbacks that delve into their respective pasts. These flashbacks allow the audience to form an emotional connection with these characters and understand them better, as these sequences recount essential events in their lives that irreversibly shaped them into the people they are. There are three key reasons why these flashbacks lack dialogue: I can't write good dialogue to save my sorry hide, and most of the dialogue I've come up would leave Ehren Kruger and George Lucas awestruck It makes my job of disguising the deuteragonist's identity from the protagonist and audience significantly more manageable, without making characters use her real name continually and killing all sense of mystery right out of the gate (it's hinted that she is Jeanne d'Arc and the protagonist discovering her identity via her flashbacks is a significant plot twist ) I don't have to come up with some very contrived reason as to why characters staring in the deuteragonist's flashbacks can speak perfect modern English In his flashbacks, it's revealed during the protagonist spent his youth in fending for himself in poverty and only managed to survive by falling with a gang of homeless youth. Though he was initially standoffish, he eventually grew immensely fond of their company and fell in love with a girl who gave his life meaning. However, that ended when a close friend betrayed him and nearly killed him, leading him to believe that humans are predatory animals that only care for themselves. Although he doesn't use what happened to him as an excuse to justify his nihilistic and selfish behaviour. The deuteragonist's flashbacks borrow heavily from Ali Alizadeh's The Last Days of Jeanne d'Arc , which unapologetically explores the harsh and brutal reality of the Hundred Year War via Jeanne's perspective in media res . Throughout the novel, Jeanne faces the hideous slaughter her idealistic mission unleashes by getting a front-row seat to the many atrocities committed by the Anglo-Burgundians and her fellow Armagnacs . Rather than being flat-out misery porn, these flashbacks depict the deuteragonist coming to terms with the consequences for her actions and strengthening her resolve to end the Hundred Year War by using her faith as a shield. This leaves me with two problems: My reliance on showing rather than telling means that I'll be unable to get specific plot elements across to the reader I can't use dialogue for characterisation, making difficult for me give personality to side characters featured in these flashbacks How can I write around these issues? <Q> Instead of using dialogue, try telling a story through imagery. <S> If it's a telepathically-induced flashback, perhaps it's a lot more abstract than, say, a direct retelling. <S> Memories themselves are already more subjective and abstract than what actually went on in the past, so if you give it a dreamlike quality, then you probably don't need dialogue. <A> As Matthew Dave pointed out, you don't really need dialogue for that kind of flashbacks. <S> For example, about the protagonist falling into a gang of street urchin: " Suddendly, he remembered. <S> Waking up in the corner of a dark alley everyday, the strong scent of dog piss enveloping his ragged blanket like a tight embrace. <S> The faces of the others from the gang - Pinwick pox-ridden face, Eyewick, ever sneering with his missing teeth, Corny covered in dirt. <S> Walking in the market streets, launching hungry stares at the bright coloured fruits everywhere ... " <S> Of course, this could be either more or less descriptive, depending on your need and your preferences. <S> Playing with emotions, images and input from all five senses will get your point across. <S> And after all, a memory doesn't need to be objective: we all remember our specific point of view about what happened. <S> So you don't need to exactly report what has been said, you can just remember the general attitude of a person. <A> Think of your flashbacks like you think of any other scene. <S> The fact that this is a flashback shouldn't make a significant difference. <S> There are five senses you can engage: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, and there are your character's emotions regarding what's going on. <S> Since you are writing a flashback, you can also add the meta-thought - what the character thinks of the past situation from the perspective of the story-present. <S> So, first, the senses. <S> What does your character see? <S> What does he hear? <S> You can linger over the texture of the clothes on his back, or the pavement he's lying on, etc. <S> Since this is a flashaback, you don't necessarily want to engage all senses. <S> However, smell and taste are particularly famous for triggering memories and flashback (consider the Madeleine effect), so it's not a bad idea to engage those. <S> Next, what is your character's emotional response to the scene? <S> Fear, anger, pain, loss, or alternatively a rare moment of peace? <S> Flashbacks are usually associated with emotions rather than with thoughts. <S> You wish to provide characters with personality, without writing dialogue. <S> You can instead describe their actions. <S> Sharing a piece of bread, giving a helping hand, or alternatively laughing at another's weakness, exposing and exploiting it - those can speak louder than words.

They are memories shared in a common, telephatic link; you can write them as a series of vivid images - cities, situations and people surfacing in the mind of the protagonist as the memories come. Depending on how abstract and dreamlike you want them to be, some of the flashback may come out like a stream of consciouness: a series of quick sentences giving the "sense" of what its happening, without resorting to a full description.

Repetition of information in my multi-path / multi-play-through game - how to deal with it? I'm working on a story-heavy game with lots of different paths the player can choose from. Many times, players might also have to replay parts of the game in certain ways to see the true ending. As a result, players will inevitably get told the same information multiple times. What should I do in these cases? Is it enough if players can skip those parts on their own or should I cut down on those parts myself if I see the player has already played that part in a previous play through? Or should I not worry about it either way? What are my options? <Q> Are you familiar with Bioware's games (Dragon Age, Mass Effect)? <S> Because of the many different plot choices the game offers, a player might well find themselves returning to an earlier save-point and repeating a scene for the sake of picking a different dialogue option. <S> I'm not sure this is what you plan for your game, but it sounds close enough. <S> In order to prevent the repetition from becoming boring, at the pressing of a button dialogues can be skipped line by line, until you get to the point of interest, and cut-scenes can be skipped entirely. <S> This way, players do not get annoyed with the repetition. <S> (Actually, there were some problems with this in the earlier games. <S> They learnt from experience. <S> You - learn from their experience; make sure that if there's a hard battle straight after a dialogue / cutscene, there's an opportunity to save after the scene, before the battle. <S> So that a player who keeps failing the battle won't have to go through the dialogue again and again and again.) <S> Automatically skipping scenes is something I would not recommend. <S> A player might enjoy replaying a particular scene, much in the same way one might enjoy rewatching a film. <S> The issue becomes even more pertinent if the scene plays out with slight differences because of previous choices - players would enjoy looking for those slight differences, seeing how what they do matters. <A> This is a common issue. <S> Here are the ways I've seen it dealt with: 1) <S> Skip buttons <S> - First time through, you get the whole experience, second time, you (can) skip parts of it. <S> Probably the most common option. <S> 2) Jump points - The narrative is presented as a branching structure, and you can jump back to any node you've already visited (and presumably make a different choice this time). <S> This is the option I personally prefer, but it doesn't seem to be used very commonly, perhaps because it can make the game much shorter and easier. <S> 3) Replayability - Make it something that will be enjoyable even if experienced multiple times. <S> This is considerably easier with gameplay than with narrative. <S> There is one other option, but I've only seen it used once, in a very unusual game: <A> There are two aspects here: one related to gameplay and one related to storytelling . <S> I can't really comment on the former, though I'd ask you to reconsider the dynamics of having players repeating a scene. <S> Why do you accept it as inevitable? <S> Isn't the whole idea of branching to take different paths? <S> In any case, focusing on the latter (storytelling), I don't think "readers" would enjoy seeing a similar scene twice, though they would probably react more negatively if you made the decision for them. <S> Either not show it, or then don't cut it by default. <S> If it does serve a purpose repeating a scene, the reader must be made aware of it. <S> I don't know the details (what kind of game are we talking about, for instance), but based on the provided info, I would say you better show the reader/player <S> a really good explanation as to why a scene needs to be repeated.

If a player doesn't want to watch the scene again, well, they have the skip option. You could make the monotony of the repetition part of the point of the game In purely narrative terms, anything that doesn't serve a purpose, shouldn't be there.

Using a fake name for book So I want to use a fake name for my book, not my real name. How do I ensure that editors or agencies don't take advantage of that or play a trick when it comes to the credits of the book? How do I make sure that there are no 'loop holes'? <Q> I don't know how the publisher would take advantage of you. <S> Your contract with the publisher (or agent) will be under your real name. <S> Only then is the contract legally binding. <S> In that contract, you will specify that you want to publish under a pseudonym (and whether your real identity must be held confidential by the publisher). <S> "Credit" will go to your pseudonym, as that is the name under which critics, book stores, and readers will know "you". <S> Copyright will belong to you, the author. <S> Again, I don't see a way for the publisher to take advantage of you (in a way that they couldn't with a non-pseudonymous author). <A> Pseudonyms, and also professional ghostwriters hired to help a celebrity push out a book, are such common things that publishers and agents have contracts and legal departments to accommodate them. <S> As was said in the other answers, the person getting paid being different from the name on the cover is "business as usual". <S> JK Rowling and Steven King were both discovered because their (already famous) writing was recognized. <S> In the case of King, a bookstore clerk played detective after recognizing King's style. <S> Rowling was supposedly discovered through computer analysis. <S> Both were good-natured about it. <S> King actually encouraged the bookstore clerk to write his discovery as a mystery article and agreed to be interviewed. <S> Rowling always manages to be the most gracious billionaire on the planet. <S> But they had nothing to lose except the pleasure of seeing their books appreciated without the shadow of their own fame. <S> King's publisher had actually refused to publish more than one Steven King book per year out of fear of competition from his own novels, so the pseudonym had been a compromise. <S> Rowling wanted to break out of the schoolboy wizard albatross she'd created for herself. <S> However, recently "Elena Ferrante" was outed by a journalist who claimed because of the popularity of her novels she was a public figure who has no right to privacy, but she was not a known name or a public figure. <S> She just valued her privacy. <S> The publishing world made a big fuss to shame the journalist, but it's likely the shame-campaign created more publicity than the original article. <S> In all 3 cases, the publishers attempted to shield the authors, but also in all 3 cases the publishers were the Achilles heel leaving a paper trail of large payments and legal documents that led back to them. <S> In the case of King and Rowling, the authors had used their same agents and publishers, making their identities easier to confirm. <S> True anonymity may not be possible in the internet age, not if it is combined in any way with success. <S> If your pseudonym is about aesthetics, don't fear the publisher. <S> However, if the pseudonym is about maintaining true anonymity, unfortunately there are no guarantees. <A> Pen names are pretty common, and most publishers have policies of their own for them. <S> You should be fine, it'd take a pretty poor publisher to somehow exploit an author's wish to have a nom de plume and turn it into a legal loophole.

Probably the only threat to a pseudonymous author is if they become too popular, or are already famous under another name.

Can the prologue's POV be different from the POV of main story? Let me explain my question: I want to write the prologue of the story with the narrator in first person with the point of view of the protagonist. But the story is already written in a third person narrator...and I have 2 protagonist so its not omniscent. I think is like a cheap trick do this change of pov and narrator... I want to write a strong "first lines" (for hooking, you know) and I think is easiest that way, at least for my idea. I'm so sorry for my bad english, I hope someone can help me. <Q> This is not only done, but is a staple of George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire - all books' prologues and epilogues have a one-time POV character that dies by the end of it. <S> So <S> yeah, it's perfectly acceptable. <A> If you think it would be a cheap trick, then don't do it. <S> But it is an already somewhat estabilished tecnique - there are tons of books where the prologue has a different PoV from that of the main characters (I can recall a few at the moment: <S> Perdido street station from Mieville, Eragon from Paolini, Dragons of Autumn Twilight by Weis and Hickman ... ). <S> Sometimes the prologue is a dream, sometimes it describes something happening in a faraway land, away from the starting point of the protagonist, sometimes it happens in the past or the future. <S> So, yeah, you can definitely do this. <A> The part I'm not sure about is writing the prologue in first person, while the rest of the novel is in third person. <S> First person feels "closer to the character" than third person. <S> So you'd be making the reader feel closer to a one-time POV that we don't see after the prologue, than you ever let him feel towards the actual protagonists. <S> That feels a bit strange and confusing to me. <A> As other answers have stated a different POV for prologues is quite a common technique, particularly in SF and Fantasy <S> (George R.R. Martin, Robert Jordan, David Eddings and Brandon Sanderson have all used this to one extent or another) Changing to first person <S> vs third might be a little clunky though - <S> that said you could "cheat" slightly by having the first person section written in such a way as to make it obvious that it is something <S> written by the POV character rather than it being experienced with them at the time. <S> For example as a letter or a diary entry. <A> Just to add one little thing to this that the other answers leave out; If you do this, be sure to have a test reader/friend read it and make sure that they are able to follow that a change of POV has happened. <S> As the writer, you know the change in POV has happened, so it will be harder for you to tell if others will also pick up on it without the knowledge ahead of time. <S> Changing the POV of the story is fine (and is common), but if the flow doesn't immediately provide some clear detail(s) to show that the POV has changed, the reader will become confused as to what is happening, and what the POV is now. <S> With a jump from first two third, when the reader detects a change of POV, their first instinct will be to figure out whose head their in now. <S> So have others read it, and get their feedback about how jarring/confusing it was for them the first time. <S> (And have new readers each time, as once they know the POV change is coming, they will be biased as well)

As others have mentioned, writing a prologue from a different POV than the rest of the story is common enough. If you're writing all the novel in third person, I would also write the prologue in third.

Will my one sentence prologue work? I know most readers don't like prologues, so I've tried to make it as simple as possible. I write the following knowing fully well how weird it’ll make me look. — A.B.G. A.B.G. Is the fictional (undisclosed) author of the novel, which is set in 3rd person. She never shows up again, and this is only meant to show the readers that this is the writer of the following story. Will readers understand this? Or is it too short that it's confusing? <Q> It is not uncommon for fictional works to start with quotes from real or fictional personages. <S> Dune , in particular, makes heavy use of this tool, starting every chapter with excerpts from fictional history books, written by one of the main characters, and providing commentary, and "additional sources", and additional perspective, to the narrative. <S> However, there is an expectation for things to come together, fit together in a story, for all ends to be tied up nicely. <S> If your A.B.G never shows up again, is never mentioned again, never makes any sort of appearance <S> , it's like a broken link, a path that leads nowhere. <S> Readers would find it disappointing and confusing. <S> Moreover, it should be clear why it's them <S> that you're citing at the start of your tale. <S> If a fictional character makes the claim that they are the writer of the story presented to the reader, it must be made clear why it is they <S> who are the writer, what this perspective adds to the story <S> , why it's not just your (the real writer's) novel instead. <A> I think what you're looking for is Epigraph . <S> I quite like when books have those, but singular on its own <S> it is not a prologue in any way. <S> Also, introducing a character, that appears in one sentence only in the entire book? <S> I don't think so. <S> It'll be ignored at best. <S> If there was a comment by said character at the beginning of every chapter on the other hand, you'd have plenty of opportunity to develop that character more, or even break the 4th wall a little. <A> It's not a prolog , it's a disclaimer , but the warning is unclear. <S> "I know this makes me look weird! <S> But keep reading, it is actually not weird at all once you understand the whole story." <S> "Before you say it, yes, I already know this story makes me look weird. <S> But I have been framed through the actions of others!" <S> "This is such a weird story, you will think I am weird just for re-telling it." <S> There are a few problems: <S> Is the author concerned about how the story is received (it only seems weird at first), or their own image (the story is weird, but I am not)? <S> Meanwhile, the author is almost anonymous, signing with just initials so readers who know what A.B.G. stands for may be able to confirm parts of the story, but readers outside the author's circle will not be able to connect details to anyone specific. <S> Who is the prolog for, a reader who knows nothing about the situation, or a reader who already has an opinion of the author (and this story will shake that opinion)? <S> If the author is anonymizing their name, why be concerned what the reader thinks of them personally? <S> They are not relying on their reputation, and they are distancing themselves from the events. <S> It's actually a mixed message: "Trust me, <S> I'm going to lie to you" would be a similar mixed-message. <S> Is the author discrediting themselves? <S> Is this already part of the weirdness we should expect? <S> Consider a similar one-line disclaimer/epigraph by Evelyn Waugh in Brideshead <S> Revisited : <S> "I am not I; thou art not he or she; they are not they." <S> At first it seems like a typical <S> "This is a work of fiction…" disclaimer, but it is worded in such an oddly personal way that it appears to specifically address people who will recognize themselves in the novel, and this brings into question the accuracy of the statement as a disclaimer. <S> If he needs to mention it at all, especially to the people who were "there", it probably resembles the truth . <S> So in a way, it works to confirm aspects of the story, rather than deny it.

If you "quote" a fictional character you've created, they should make an appearance in your story. As a prolog, it doesn't work to make the situation clearer.

Do multiple potential love interests dilute tension and diminish drama? My MC is focused on his profession; barely giving his personal life a thought. His last serious romantic relationship with a woman was when he was 22. Time for that later, he believes. Retire at 45 and then look. He has two women who are interested in him now: M wants him now, is very strong willed and fierce. She is a colleague of his and loves that he is more dangerous than she as it makes her feel normal. She is expert at seduction but not so at serious courtship. She ends up declaring her feelings by serenading him with ‘You’d be so nice to come home to’ accompanied by a very fine pianist who is madly in love with her. J is a young, vivacious and quirky woman who is very professional but uninhibited and very loath to let the MC take himself seriously for more than a second. She is also a colleague of his, though in a completely unrelated field. She is more of a cheerful beacon. She has decided that the MC is certainly worth the effort and until M declared herself had even been willing to wait until the MC is ready. Now her hand is being forced. I am considering adding two more and my question is this: would adding more potential love interests add tension or dilute it? <Q> You are talking about two different books. <S> One is a book focused on the love triangle between a man and two different women --the primary conflict of the book is which one he will choose. <S> The other book is about a man and the many possible loves in his life. <S> The main difference is that the love triangle version is more evenly focused around your three main characters. <S> They not only relate to the man, they also have a relationship with each other as rivals (and, in this case, coworkers). <S> The other version is more squarely focused on the man. <S> The other characters are only presented only in relationship to him. <S> One is not right and the other is wrong, it more depends on what book YOU want to write. <S> If you want the focus to stay on the three central characters, and their interrelationships, then I wouldn't add the others in --unless <S> you want a twist ending where the man doesn't pick either of his two main choices. <A> I think FOUR is too many interactions, you dilute the focus by having so many characters competing for the same guy, especially if the romance is a subplot. <S> They are too hard for the reader to keep track of and remember who is who. <S> Saying it is "character driven" doesn't alleviate the load; the best character driven stories (in my opinion) devote a lot of attention to a FEW characters, not thin attention to a cast of dozens. <S> Thin attention and deep character development do not go together. <S> And the young uninhibited woman can be both a professional and family rich (I've known at least one such girl) and the colleague could also be single with a son. <S> You can give him things to like about each; the young woman is better in bed, the colleague isn't terrible in bed, but she IS more fun to hang out with and have conversations with, she is more clever, they have a similar sense of humor, and that isn't true with the young woman. <S> He knows because he has been to several professional events with the colleague. <A> Any number of stories see the protagonist having no romantic interests and work, or just one and work, but your question stems from wanting to do something only possibly with at least two: conflict between would-be lovers. <S> Is two enough? <S> Definitely, if you flesh each out adequately. <S> You may find, for example, that it helps if J is in the MC's orbit first, only to feel she has to be more aggressive once M turns up. <S> Do you have to do it that way? <S> No, but it'd work, and wouldn't need B or O. <S> You can add them (Heaven help your word count), say as people the MC is interested in even if they don't like him, while he's not as keen on M or J as they are on him. <S> Again, this isn't the only way. <S> I think what you really need to do is plot this story carefully (and know how many words your bullet points will get; see here ) and see what you have room for. <A> Many will vote this as "opinion based". <S> I think there is no real answer because this is subplot. <S> He can choose all 4 and not commit, or maybe 2 are serious but 2 are convenient. <S> Maybe he prefers 1 <S> but she insists it stay casual…. <S> It can be any mix and any level of importance/focus. <S> I don't think the audience will be confused, but the more women in the running the less likely his final choice will seem like "the one" – as opposed to just a winner by process of elimination. <S> It's definitely less tension than 2 intense relationships. <S> 4 women could be comic relief. <S> It is hard to take too seriously, he just seems like a player so it does dilute. <S> Worst case is if the choice feels arbitrary. <S> No choice would be better than random. <S> But 2 women within his "zone" and another 2 just outside his "zone" to define some internal boundaries might tell us something profound about who he is. <S> Including how he lets them down, or keeps up his guard.

I would limit it to three if it were a central plot point, and two as a subplot, since the reader's attention is already distracted by what they need to remember about the main plot.

What do I do if I have no idea how to explain how something looks or even what it is? In my story there is a hill and the hill looks like a stair case with three steps what would you even call each step? (Without saying “step” because that’s not right for the moment he is in). <Q> Even though you know something isn't what you describe, using descriptive terminology is fine. <S> Especially if something else follows: <S> The hill looks like a staircase with three steps. <S> But it can't be an actual staircase, and they can't be actual steps. <S> Instead . <S> . . <S> The use of looks like is a qualifier, such as seems to be or reminds me of . <S> Whatever follows doesn't necessarily reflect what it is in fact. <S> Unless of course, your problem is not with the analogy but with the use of the word step itself. <S> If your narrative prevents the use of that word for whatever reason, then you will need to come up with something different: <S> It's a strange hill. <S> It looks like something purposely built to be walked up, rather than something formed by nature . . . <S> In clarification from a comment, "it looks like three gigantic steps." <S> So: They look like steps made for a giant. <A> In the far east and on the Mediterranean we describe the "steps" on mountains used for agriculture as Terraces . <S> If you do a google image search for 'mountain terrace', you will see hundreds of "stepped" mountains - https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=terraces+mountain&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjsxvjF1OrdAhWNRMAKHQo_ARIQ7Al6BAgCEA0&biw=1280&bih=651 was that what you had in mind? <A> You could describe it as a series of interlocking stelae, a path carved by the giants of yore in the bones of earth. <S> You could call them mesas in miniature. <S> I wouldn’t call it a staircase or allude to it as such. <S> I might suggest describing the climb. <S> Frer was almost home, but while the distance was not great the ascent was not easy. <S> Carrying the water he slowly climbed the first ascent, seventy feet of rough terrain and sudden level areas. <S> He believed his grandfather’s stories about giants, who else could have moved these massive stones, now overgrown and one with the landscape. <S> Resting briefly, he strode the length of the gentle incline that looked level from afar. <S> The next slope was steeper still, but thankfully not quite as high as the first. <S> Too close to home now to rest, he dug deep and climbed the final slope and saw his father waiting at the door of the hut they called home.

After such a description, you could simply refer to them as giant steps .

I'm looking for inspiration for spells and potions Is there any books out there that details old spells and potions? <Q> I'd use a TTRPG Rulebook. <S> Hope that helps! <A> Of course, since spells and potions don't exist in this world, all we have are sources from people who believed they existed. <S> For spells, you could check out the Malleus Maleficarum . <S> It's a medieval treatise about witchcraft, mostly written for inquisitors and theologists. <S> In the second section you may find some hypotetical description fon how witches did their spell and rituals, or at least it should give you an idea on what the clergymen of the times believed witches capable of. <S> Often seen as something like early chemists, alchemists were borderline scientists and magician, and have left a lot of written traces about their procedures and beliefs (e.g. the famous myth of transmuting gold). <S> Among them, you could check out George Ripley , the alleged author of the somewhat famous Ripley's scroll , which describes, enigmatically, the procedure to create a Philosopher Stone. <A> As Nicolas Bernal pointed out, pathfinder books are a great resource to inspire you, but they are kind of expensive. <S> So I mind you to use the free app <S> : "Spell Tracker: Pathfinder RPG companion tool"

Pathfinder's Core rulebook is found online: Google 'pathfinder core rulebook pdf' Lots to go on there, and if you need more - find the subsequent additions i.e. Ultimate Equipment, Advanced Players Guide, etc. For potions, I'd give a look on historical figures - alchemists.

When should ideas be scrapped? I've been working on plots and different characters for a few months now and I haven't really written anything that might be salvageable down the line. I really like the idea, but I feel as though it may be in inspired by too many different stories and it may fall under plagiarism, despite it being my own ideas. I'm still attempting to find a way to turn this around or add some sort of spin to the story to create tension, but I don't know if I should keep going with the idea or just stop and create a new one all over again. <Q> If you need to, think of this solely as a learning project, one you might never show to anyone, but that you're going to complete, if only so you can have the experience of seeing a writing project all the way through. <S> Once you've made it as good as you can, you can re-evaluate if you want to try to place it somewhere, or just bottom-drawer it. <S> But keep in mind that many wonderful pieces of writing passed through an ugly-duckling phase --and also that writers are often poor judges of their own work. <S> To be honest, if you read enough from prolific authors, you realize they don't bury their mistakes, they publish them . <S> For instance, prior to writing his masterpiece, Lolita , Nabakov wrote a much inferior book (in Russian, translated variously as Camera Obscura and Laughter in the Dark ) with some of the same themes. <S> It's probably most charitably read as a rough draft for the later work. <S> But it was reasonably successful, translated twice, and even made into a movie. <A> I would say that if you're rewriting your idea for the third time (that is, there are now four drafts, all rough- three <S> you've given up on, one you're currently writing), that you're probably polishing a turd. <S> However, ideas are usually perfectly fine. <S> It's not the idea that's a problem in most cases of bad writing. <S> It's the execution. <S> After all, every idea under the sun has been done before, it's how one executes it <S> that's the issue. <S> In that case... polishing a turd comes from, not a bad/unsalvageable idea, but an unsalvageable project that needs work in one of three areas before it should be reattempted: Plotting Characterisation <S> The writer themselves <A> Ideas should be scrapped when you have given up on writing for good. <S> It may be that the heat death of the universe will still find this material in its unused state, but at this point you really have nothing to lose.

I would say err on the side of finishing, because it's all too easy to always find a reason to give up somewhere along the way . Until then, keep unused ideas some place where you can find them again when you need them.

The Art of creating Subplots What are the ways of creating Subplots in fantasy genre that really catch the reader's attention? Should there be a conflict in the subplots? Please explain. <Q> A subplot is basically another story included inside your main story, one that is simpler and less detailed than your main storyline. <S> It does need some conflict in order to be interesting, but this tends to be both less complicated and more easily resolved than the conflicts in the main plot. <S> I'll use the 2001 movie <S> Monsoon <S> Wedding <S> as an example, it uses both effectively. <S> REFLECTIVE - <S> To illuminate (echo and/or contrast with) the main plot : This kind of subplot is largely separate --in a causal sense --from the main plot. <S> It might even be a story or a anecdote told within the main plot . <S> However, it has aspects that illuminate some feature of the main story, by both echoing it and contrasting with it. <S> For example, in Monsoon Wedding the main plot is about a woman falling in love with a fiance she barely knows, just prior to a lavish arranged marriage. <S> But there is a memorable subplot about the wedding planner falling in love with the family's maid. <S> The echoes are clear, both are love stories, culminating in a double wedding at the end. <S> But there are also contrasts. <S> One couple is rich, the other is poor. <S> One love affair is arranged, the other is spontaneous, and so forth. <S> The existence of the subplot deepens the emotional content of the movie --the love of the second couple is purer and less complicated than that of the first couple. <S> FUNCTIONAL - To interact with (advance or complicate) <S> the main plot : The main overall plot of most movies and books could be summarized in a few paragraphs <S> --they aren't that distant from the fairy tales and myths that compose the primal materials of storytelling. <S> It's the functional subplots that give the story its unique shape and structure. <S> For instance, in Monsoon Wedding, the family throwing the wedding must make a stark moral choice around rejecting the much needed financial support of a wealthy family member, who has secretly abused a young member of the family. <S> This choice becomes a major functional complication in how the movie is going to resolve -- it has real consequences for the family, either way. <A> As you introduce the main character to the world, you will also introduce all kinds of other characters that interact with this MC. <S> And sometimes the universe you create is so large that all kinds of things happen even while the MC is not around. <S> Some of those things might eventually even become relevant to the MC at some time in your story. <S> You have to build up to those relevant things. <S> And this build up will be your subplot until eventually it becomes part of the main story line. <S> To answer the question. <S> Is there conflict? <S> I sure hope so <S> , otherwise the subplot will be tedious and boring for the reader. <S> And how do you keep the readers attention to the subplot? <S> Make it relevant to the main plot line. <A> I tend to think of subplots as being 'small plots that serve the main plot', and they can serve in many ways. <S> It can be dealing with an aspect of a main character's personality that needs to change to allow the plot to continue, it could be to set up a situation that leads to the next major hurdle on the quest's way, heck <S> it could be simply to establish something about the main character/villain. <S> As J.G pointed out, regardless of function, subplots often arise organically; the world of your story exists, and in transit, obstacles arise because that's how the world would work, simple as that. <S> Then the only duty you have is to make said obstacle interesting. <A> I'd add on to Totems Maximus' answer to say: <S> Subplots can be the Goal and Arc of a secondary character, or of multiple secondary characters. <S> Samwise's goal was to protect Frodo. <S> Gollum's goal was to get the ring. <S> Both of those impact Frodo's goal to destroy the ring. <S> Each character has motivations and goals--and these can be developed up into side-stories. <S> If LoTR was written from Gollum's perspective, the main plot and subplots would shift around. <S> You could write the story from any LoTR character's perspective--the Nazguls, Eowyn, whoever--and the plot and subplots would shift. <S> I find this a useful way to think about subplot. <S> Your secondary characters are not mere window dressing but people in their own right.

There can be many reasons and ways to deploy subplots, but the two main types of subplot are ones that illuminate the main plot, and ones that interact with the main plot. You introduce your setting, your world, your universe.

How to simulate someone talking with a full mouth? If, for example, someone said : "How are you today?", how would you go about "translating" this into sounding like they were talking with a full-mouth? Like, phonetically. <Q> If you intend to phonetically represent speech with one's mouth full, there's a very easy way to do it; speak with your mouth full. <S> Listen to how it distorts your speech and think about how it alters the phonemes. <S> That's a good starting point if a phonetic spelling is what you're after. <A> For me, phonetically translating mouth-full speaking would deter my focus and make me dwell on words missed and other incomprehensible text which would arise. <S> Instead, I would focus on the experience of the interaction: <S> There the three of us sat talking about the business proposal. <S> Sam was focused in reading the details while Eric continued eating and interrupting with questions. <S> Eric asks "So, what are the (munch) proposed (chew) percentage distributions?" <S> Sam responds that she hasn't made it to that section yet all the while Eric gulps his drink and tells her to read faster. <S> He also muttered something else <S> but I was too grossed out by the sputter of potatoes and gravy which was exiting from his mouth. <S> This will provide the most realistic result. <S> However, you might need to provide context to avoid confusing the reader: <S> For example: As I entered their office, they greeted me with "Hi, mmph, ghow are you?" <S> versus: <S> As I entered their office in the middle of lunch hour, they greeted me with "Hi, mmph, ghow are you?" <S> The former makes you question: Did the person have a stroke upon greeting? <S> Did the person hold back a sneeze? <S> Were they totally caught off-guard at an awkward time? <S> Did they hit their funny bone? <A> The easiest way is to state another character guessed that's what they said. <A> Although I don't recommend trying to reproduce the phonetic sound; it is pretty easy to figure out. <S> The tongue cannot touch the palate (roof of the mouth) or the teeth because it is blocked by food; so <S> plosives like "T", "K", palate "G" (like in "Get") <S> , "D" are suppressed. <S> Lip plosives ("P", "B") could still be voiced. <S> Replace the plosives that cannot be voiced with single apostrophes. <S> "That's better" would become "'a's be'er". <S> A Word like "dog" that begins and ends with a plosive would be unintelligible; "'o'". <A> It depends on what sort of speech you tend to write. <S> Write the character's script, make a sandwich, turn on a voice recorder, then read the script with your mouth full. <S> When listening to the playback, write down what you hear. <S> If it is meant to be unintelligible, don't try to shoehorn your original script in there to make words guessable. <S> Have the narrator indicate why there is confusion and <S> (probably) have the other characters ask for clarification (depending on the power dynamic of the group). <S> I walked up to her <S> and she greeted me with a "ghffuh mmnet". <S> "What?" came my reflexive response. <S> After she swallowed the bite of what looked to be a deliciously ripe tomato, she clarified herself: "'Just a minute', I said. <S> "

But, if you are truly set on phonetically spelling mouth-full words then you can write the dialogue and read it out loud while eating and record yourself. Personally, I would approach this like method acting.

Can you frame ritual suicide in a "positive" light? Eons ago, there was a war among gods that came close to destroying humanity and the mortal realm. Gods depend on humanity, and their destruction would inevitably hurt them as well. At the conclusion of this war, a pact was signed among the gods to prevent this cataclysm from happening again. Gods can no longer interfere with the realm directly, but they can influence it by using proxies, people who act on their behalf in the function of priests, holy warriors, etc, and are the basis of world religions. Despite this, there are many dangers to the mortal world. Other realms exist, such as the fae and demon realms, each with creatures hostile to humanity. Invasions occur rarely, but are devastating when they do. Sometimes the invaders are just too powerful or numerous for mortals to handle them. There exists an ancient spell that is used in times of need. Functionaries of the gods can summon a powerful deity to fight on behalf of humans to help fend off these supernatural creatures. Unfortunately this ritual is so powerful that it takes the lives of the users, and requires hundreds of people to work. They pay with their lives to power the spell and bring a god into the world, and are seen as noble heroes who sacrificed themselves to protect the planet. The point of making the ritual like this is to show how extreme and serious the situation is and that a high cost must be paid to summon a being like a god to a realm that they shouldn't inhabit. This is an end of world kind of scenario when things have gotten as bad as they can get. However, it brings to mind occurrences like Jonestown or heavens gate, and may come across as cultish. Can it be portrayed in a "noble" light or would this be too problematic? <Q> Don't think of what you're describing as "ritual suicide" - that has negative connotations. <S> At least, it does for you, since you're not confident about the topic. <S> Instead, think of what you're describing as giving up one's life for a cause . <S> I mean, that's what they're doing, right? <S> A character gives up their life, so something can happen to save everybody else. <S> Framed like that, it's a noble sacrifice. <S> Let's use Buffy as an example. <S> End of Season 1, Buffy goes to face the Master. <S> She knows (prophecy) that she's going to die. <S> She accepts death, in the hope that she might take the Master with her. <S> She gives up her life so that she might save those she holds dear. <S> Then, end of Season 5, she does it again, jumping off a tall tower to her death, effectively committing suicide, to close a world-eating portal thing. <S> You could look at those examples as suicide - a character willingly letting themselves be killed, or actively taking their own life. <S> In a similar manner, when soldiers go off to battle, is it ritual suicide? <S> When they hold their ground, hold off the enemy, letting those behind them escape, are they committing ritual suicide? <S> No - they are being heroes. <S> In the setting you describe, the kind of ritual sacrifice you propose is not a futile attempt to do <S> I don't know what, as it would have been in our world. <S> It is a known price paid for a known, very real result. <S> It might well be the only way to save the world. <S> It is thus a necessary action, not a painful pointless waste as it would have been in RL. <A> In my opinion you already have your answer. <S> As Galastel was pointing it out, this hasn't the connotation of ritual suicide, or cultism. <S> Can it be portrayed in a "noble" light or would this be too problematic? <S> You already are. <S> In this world, were magic is real, the lives of an hundred of priests spent to cast the spell aren't different from the lives of an hundred soldiers on the fae-demon battlefields. <S> The only issue I see is about the spell being "ancient", and seldomly used. <S> As you mention: Invasions occur rarely ... <S> There exists an ancient spell that is used in times of need. <S> Now, how rare are those times of need? <S> Are we talking once in a decade? <S> Once in half a century? <S> Once every two centuries?If 100 years pass without anyone casting the spell, it's possible that people will start questioning its effectivness. <S> Priest A: <S> We need to cast the once-in-a-century ritual. <S> Priest B: <S> But most of the information we have on it has been lost in the great fires of year 234, and what's left is mostly unreliable records, since a lot of the kingdom population died at the time. <S> Priest A: <S> Alas, only a deity can help us now. <S> Priest B: <S> But we aren't sure the spell even works! <S> It's reasonable to think that people will be skeptical, at least some people. <S> But of course, if the spell is actually performed correctly, those deaths will be regarded as noble sacrifice. <A> In my view, the way to do this is to find a real-world example that we accept. <S> Then weave in that example (better yet, multiple examples) through metaphor, direct reference, in dialog, in action, through scenes observing these actions, and so on. <S> I'd recommend research into any group of animals that seem to kill themselves. <S> Groups of whales that beach themselves for unknown reasons, lemmings, pea aphids, birds that down themselves in large numbers, tarsiers, and so on. <S> You can branch out to include plants, or fungi. <S> Work it into your world. <S> There will be problems with any individual example, but if you research every example you can find of non-humans committing some form of altruistic death, you can use what you learn to work the ritual--and the reader will buy in, if done well. <S> Perhaps the priests burn myxobacterial fruiting bodies in preparation for the ritual. <S> Perhaps your heroes see a group of beached dolphins early on. <S> Tuck it everywhere, <S> any example that 'this is normal in the natural world.' <S> I'd also think about creating a proscription to cults in your world, and have a character explain directly why this ritual is not cultish. <S> Call it out. <S> this sort of acknowledgment can work well.

Or you could look at them the way the story frames them - as a noble ultimate sacrifice, a necessary price paid for saving the world.

How do you make sex magic feel like a natural part of a setting? In this world, witchcraft is practiced openly and is a neccessary function of society. Men cannot use magic directly, but possess much more mana than women. There are some spells that a witch may not have the neccessary amount of mana to perform, or it would be extremely difficult for her to do it herself. During intercourse, a witch can absorb the essence of a male and use it to temporarily power her own spells, or to concieve a child. In many fantasy writings, sex is used as a neccessary part of performing magic. It often feels like it is thrown in just as an excuse for having it, and can come off as tacky or cringeworthy. How can you make it feel natural to a setting? How much should you show and tell? Should you go into detail about how it works, as well as its limitations? Or should you gloss over the nooks and crannies of it and leave it to the imagination of the reader? <Q> I think that giving the witch conscious control of the conception/conjuration choice is a mistake. <S> Granting her control over the consequences of the intercourse makes the process safer and less life-altering than it is in the real world. <S> Keeping all the real-world complexities of sex in your story adds justification for hesitancy on both parties, which can help to flesh out your characters and make them more real. <S> It can also serve as a plot device to limit the powers and options of your characters once pregnancy is achieved. <S> A male embryo can be sucked dry of mana, with life ending consequences if his mother attempts heavy magic while he is in the womb. <S> A female embryo can also cause problems by influencing the spell's effect towards her own goals. <S> A strong female character can go from magic-wielding bad-a$$ to near powerlessness as a consequence of a single powerful spell. <S> That can make for an excellent and unexpected plot twist. <S> As for what level of detail to share with your reader, that is an entirely different question. <S> In simplest words, make it appropriate to your intended audience, but within those boundaries, make it as beautiful and realistic as possible; just like everything else that is worth writing. <S> Keep Writing! <A> You need to reframe sex. <S> In the world today, sex is mostly associated with pleasure. <S> You want to associate it with magic. <S> You can do that by a) making it a ritual. <S> Instead of the free-flowing, spontaneous act that sex for pleasure is, sex magic has precise rules. <S> Everything happens on cue, at a specific time in a specific order. <S> Arousal is ensured through tried-and-tested procedures that work on purely biological excitement (it is quite possible to stimulate both men and women without having an emotional reaction). <S> b) clearly seperating the two. <S> A witch certainly would have sex for pleasure as well. <S> But she would have it with a different man (or, if you want to go there, woman). <S> In a different location, in different clothes, etc. <S> c) or by going the other way entirely and basically tell the reader: "Have you ever had sex that was just magical? <S> Well, it probably was exactly that..." and then focus the storytelling not on the biological details of which body part goes where, but on the inner emotions of the participants. <A> Just do what you are already doing. <S> I might even make it distasteful to the female, but she does it out of necessity. <S> I'd let the men volunteer. <S> Yeah, they will be drained for a day or more, but sex for magic is the best sex there is, so it is worth applying. <S> Let the witches be picky. <S> Then your problem is a more normal problem, which you can conquer, writing a sex scene that isn't cringeworthy, You want it to be realistic given the attitudes of the partners and the goal of the witch. <S> In many ways (under the scenario I have outlined) she is similar to a prostitute with a willing client; she has to bring him to orgasm, but she is not doing it for love or kindness, this is just manual labor, her job to get her pay (mana) and accomplish something else.

To answer your question, sex magic can be more than just reader-bait if you put effort into making it real with positive and negative consequences and allow it to influence the plot. First, make it necessary to perform some spells; they require the energy of two genders joined. You save it from being tacky and cringeworthy, by making it integral and necessary to the story being told.

Can a book with a lot of action be annoying? I’m writing a book and these first 20 pages are mostly just action so my question is if a book is like mad max fury road, (almost nothing but action) will it be annoying or not be exciting anymore after awhile? <Q> Long fighting scenes are most of the time boring. <S> There I said it... <S> I know it is primarily opinion based <S> but there is good reason to say this. <S> Part of it is because your story needs to be moving forward and a (too) long fighting scene prevents this from happening most of the time. <S> When I am reading the first pages of a story I first need a proper introduction to maincast of the story. <S> This can be done with an action scene but if his motivation is not clear. <S> I might not be so interested in his story. <S> This could cause me to stop reading the story all together. <S> Another problem of an all action start is that I, as reader, will expect a climax that will top this start. <S> You are making a promise of a lot more action in the story and when the story ends up to be a romance of some sort. <S> I will be severely disappointed. <S> This might cause me to stop reader anything you write in the future. <S> So breaking that trust is not advisable. <S> So can a book with a lot of action be annoying? <S> Yes. <S> But... <S> It can also be very good. <S> Make their motivation interesting and make good to the promises you set. <A> I wouldn't want to be reading about a whole lot of violence between some people I know nothing about <S> - I'd have no stake in that violence, no one to root for. <S> I wouldn't be particularly interested to find out whether this guy or that guy survives (or whatever the stakes for the characters are). <S> The reason readers care about anything you write about is the characters. <S> We're persons, we care about other persons. <S> (I use the word 'person' here to encompass characters who are not necessarily humanoid.) <S> So, right from the start, you've got to give us characters. <S> Show us who we should care for, and what their stake is in the fight. <S> Tell us, at least to an extent, who's fighting who, why, what's going on. <S> Show us the characters' human reactions, give us the interactions that help us connect to the characters. <S> Give us a reason to care which way the fight goes . <S> And when I say "show us who we should care for", I don't just mean "introduce us to the MC". <S> I mean give us a reason to care for the MC. <S> Give us something of their internal world, their day-to-day, make them a fully realised human. <S> Then you can throw them into action. <S> It's not that you can't start in medias res , pique the readers' curiosity first with a tense scene, then go back and explain how we got there. <S> But then, the explanation, or at least some sort of introduction to the characters, has got to come sooner than 20 pages in. <A> Yes. <S> Write it anyway. <S> Because here you are at the very beginning of a novel second guessing yourself. <S> At this stage, the most important thing is that you are sitting down writing. <S> So write. <S> When you are further into the story, go back and reassess. <S> Maybe the action works, maybe it needs to be cut down, or even cut entirely. <S> Maybe it needs to be moved, or broken up in to pieces. <S> Or fleshed out <S> so it's not so intense and single-minded. <S> And maybe you'll find yourself with half a book length of nothing but action scenes that aren't really a novel. <S> Then you can start on something that incorporates part of that action. <S> Or not. <S> Either way, you will be much better at writing action than you were before you started. <S> The other thing is to find people to read what you write. <S> Not in the very beginning, but after you're in to it some. <S> A writer's group is the best way, because then you all commit to read each other's work on a regular basis. <S> Because maybe your action is a full-fledged story. <S> Or maybe it's too much. <S> Only people who read it will know.

If you give the audience action, you've got to give some reason to care for that action. It will depend on how you introduce your characters.

How to change gears with changing technology? My tablet/notepad recently died. I can't afford a new one. So I basically have to use my phone to write, which I'm not comfortable with. I now have writer's block because I don't enjoy writing on the phone for more than a few sentences. I used Scrivener on my laptop, and I have an Android phone, so I can't easily transfer my files. I'm stuck and need help. How does one adjust to using a different technology to write? And/or is there something else out there that would be a better replacement? <Q> One possible way to combine the library and the writing on the go could be paper. <S> Re your Scrivener files, could you "compile" to text or RTF and move them to your phone? <S> I realize that's problematic if you can't even briefly use a device that can read the Scrivener files. <A> Check to see if the maker of your tablet provides complementary repair services. <S> It might be dead as a doornail or require several hundred dollars to repair, but sometimes you can get things fixed at a reasonable price if you think to ask. <S> There are keyboards for smartphones which may be feasible for you. <S> I don't know anything about them though, so you'll have to do some research. <S> Most libraries provide computer services for members. <S> Exact services will vary, but my local library allows you to reserve a computer with a word processor for an hour at a time. <S> If you're willing to sacrifice on quality and size, the bottom end of the tablet market drops pretty low. <S> Text to speech technology has progressed pretty far. <S> It's still going to require more editing afterwards (and it isn't great for public spaces), but it might work for you. <S> Even if you can't get a decent text-to-speech app on your phone, you can just record your words and then convert them on your computer or a web service later. <S> If all else fails, then the only way to get more comfortable at writing in a new form is to practice. <S> Typing on a phone is more prone to errors than using a keyboard <S> so don't worry about getting everything correct the first time, but save your editing pass for when you can get to a real computer. <A> "Portable word processor" is the thing you're looking for. <S> You might want to look up the alphasmart. <S> Looks like you can get a used one for less than $20. <S> Though many are in the $40 to $80 range. <S> While the alphasmart looks to no longer be in production, it's still available referbished or from online resellers. <S> It's not the only option in terms of branding, but it does appear to be a dying technology. <S> What are you getting with these? <S> A smaller calculator like screen that's attached directly to a keyboard. <S> You would do any formatting later when you hooked it up to a computer (at say, a library as suggested elsewhere) or at a friends house.

You could do your on the go writing in notebooks, and then transcribe it at the library. You may be able to find a used tablet for an affordable price.

Is it possible for one to be a good editor but a bad writer or vice versa? If so, how? Intuitively, it would seem like being skilled in one automatically entails being skilled in the other. Why is that not necessarily the case? <Q> I'm talking in a purely theoretical manner: what will I say is not backed up by direct experience <S> Well, in theory, the skillsets you need to be a good editor and a good writer don't overlap completely. <S> A good writer may be able to set up interesting stories, compelling characters, and amazing plot arcs. <S> But it doesn't necessary <S> knows precisely what he's doing; all the more so if he's made an habit out of writing. <S> He may know what works and what doesn't instinctively, but doesn't always mean he can put that knowledge into words - hence being able to give relevant suggestions to others. <S> Also, a writer skillset may be limited to the genre he's used to write, to his particular style and vocabulary, and to the books he uses to read most, and so on. <S> While editors may specialize as well on a given genre, they need at least to be more flexible and deal with different PoVs, narration styles, story paces and so on. <S> So, a good writer could be a bad editor because he doesn't know how to give relevant suggestions to another writer, either because he can't express them, or maybe because he can't "bend" his style to match the fellow writer style. <S> Conversely, a good editor may have all the skills needed to take a raw story and polish it out until perfection (or guide the writer to do so). <S> But doesn't necessarily mean that he has the ideas and the drive to write one himself. <S> Putting words on page is actually different from editing those same words, <S> a little bit how knowing how a cake is made (the ingredients and the cooking process) is actually different from baking the actual cake. <S> A good editor could be a bad writer just because he doesn't manage to be a writer (not completing a story, for example) or because he lacks some extent of creativity, and his stories feel like a run-of-the-mill plot, with stereotypical characters and what else. <A> Sure, editors should be very good at the technical nitty-gritty of writing, spelling, punctuation, sentence structure. <S> That does not make them any good at writing anything original or interesting. <S> In fact most of the people I know who are really good editors are actively bad writers; they know all the technicalities but they can't see past them to create new and interesting content. <A> But they are actually very different skillsets demanding very different temperaments and approaches. <S> That's part of what makes good writing difficult. <S> Being good at writing involves creativity, originality, courage, commitment to self-expression, the ability to visualize things vividly and translate those sensations to paper, and a love of characters, dialogue & description. <S> Being good at editing involves being detail-oriented, ruthless, meticulous, structure-oriented, familiar with conventions, committed to excellence, and technically advanced. <S> The writer mines the gem <S> , the editor cuts and polishes it. <S> The difficulty is that your inner editor can often get in the way of your inner writer . <S> You often can't write at all if you are constantly self-editing as you go. <S> But on the other hand, an unedited piece of writing is often sloppy, bloated, self-indulgent and tedious.

What we call a "good writer" is usually a combination of someone who is good at writing and someone who is good at editing .

A children's book that takes 25 minutes to read out loud - is it too long? I've written a 3rd grade level (8-9 years old) children's book that takes about 25 minutes to read out loud. I read it to a 3rd grade class, with a few posters for illustrations, and it actually seemed to keep their attention. Even the teachers said they liked it. Is there a market for a book like this, or is it just too long? <Q> If anything, I'd say your book is too short for that age. <S> 3rd grade is 8-years-olds, right? <S> At that age, 25 minutes to read out loud is closer to one chapter of a book they'd be reading. <S> At 8 years old, my favourite books were Sans Famille , White Fang and Narnia (all of it, except for the last book, which my parents decided was inappropriate). <S> King Matt the First , <S> The Wizard of Oz (with all the sequels) and Marry Poppins <S> (all of them, again) were already behind me. <S> My Nephew, who's 9 now, has already finished the first four Harry Potters, after which the content became too adult for him - the length was just fine. <S> So there's your sampling of length you can be aiming for. <S> A book that can be read from start to finish in 25 minutes sounds to me like something for 4-years-olds, but even for them you don't have to limit yourself to something that short. <S> Winnie the Pooh , which @ArcanistLupus mentions, or Peter Pan , are also quite appropriate for that age. <A> The audiobook for Winnie the Pooh is 2 hrs and 46 minutes (although admittedly it is episodic in nature rather than a single story.) <S> I was first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone around the same age, and it's over 8 hrs. <S> I think you're fine. <A> I agree that you're fine. <S> Longer would be fine too. <S> I will add that generally it is word count <S> that gives you the length ranges for each age category (not that they're strict but that publishers will generally want books within the ranges). <S> I've done a fair bit of reading out loud. <S> To my own daughter and her friends, at different ages, to other kids I know, to students I've had or borrowed, and to other adults. <S> How fast I read depends on a lot of factors. <S> My audience, their temperament that particular hour, how many pictures there are and how long it takes to show everyone the pictures and/or talk about them, if the child has heard the book before, if the child/children interject, and my mood as well (am I enjoying myself volunteering in a classroom with no real time limits or am I trying to get my kid to fall asleep <S> so I can go check Facebook?). <S> Take different people and you get a whole new set of speeds. <S> I'd go with word count. <S> Here's a good summary. <S> http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/word-count-for-novels-and-childrens-books-the-definitive-post <A> You've found yourself in a weird place, unfortunately. <S> Third graders these days have been immersed in chapter books for a year or two already. <S> Think the first Harry Potter book: 300 pages over 17 chapters. <S> I'm not entirely sure what you can do about that without knowing more.

So your book is too long for the attention span of most who are read-to (unless broken into chapters), but probably too short for those comfortably reading to themselves.

first point of view and the problem of opinion Is it better for first person POV to be treated in the same way as third person POV meaning that the POV person withholds opinions? (So the reader can form them?) Or is it okay to establish conflict via first person POV opinions? Is that a sloppy method? <Q> You can expose opinions in third person POV. <S> In "close" third person you're extremely likely to expose the third person POV character's opinions. <S> And even in third person omniscient, you could have an omniscient voice with an opinion. <S> The Chronicles of Narnia, for example, is full of narrator opinion. <S> In first person, it would be unusual--not impossible, but quite unusual--to avoid having the first person's narrator's opinions. <A> As others have explained, if a story is written in first person, the readers expect to be privy to the POV character's opinions, thoughts and feelings. <S> This is true of third person limited too, and even an omniscient narrator would get into characters' heads. <S> However, this does not preclude the readers from forming their own opinions. <S> They might, after all, disagree with the POV character's evaluation of a situation, or even their approach to the main conflict. <S> The POV character might well be mistaken about something, and perhaps be made to pay for their mistake. <S> There is nothing underhanded about using the POV character's inner thoughts to fuel conflict. <S> It is, in fact, quite commonly done. <S> Consider, for example, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice : the source of the main conflict is the main characters' mistaken opinions of each other. <A> Everyone else's, though? <S> They're as opaque as any other human is to us. <S> As such, you get the experience of 'living through [POV Character]'s eyes' and while you will know everything about what they think, you're left to form your own opinions about what others think of the POV character, schemes that may be going on without their knowledge, et cetera, et cetera. <A> The Animorphs series of books provides us with another excellent example of the need to be privy to the main character's thoughts. <S> The series has a rotational cast of First Person narrators who frequently have to describe themselves experiencing the emotions of an animal (all the characters have the power to turn into any animal they have previously touched. <S> One of the rules of the process is that the first time morphing into a new animal can be overwelming and the narrator frequently finds the animal's instincts overriding their still human personality) as well as the sensual changes. <S> There's a very good bit in one of the books where an alien experiences a human mind for the first time and describes the sensation of self-doubt that was never something her race had a problem with.

Preferably, in first person POV, you're completely transparent with precisely one person's opinions and thoughts; the POV character's.

People like my book, starting halfway through This is kind of an alternate take on my other recent question , as well as the inverse problem to this question . I've been told by more than one beta reader that there's a specific chapter where they went from "meh" on my book to really feeling invested. But that chapter is just past the halfway point. What I think people are responding to in that chapter --a deepening friendship between the main characters --has been built up through the first half of the book, so it isn't necessarily something I can solve by moving events around. What might cause this specific pattern of reader response, and what are ways to address it? In a world where I could guarantee people would read my book, I would be OK with a slow build leading to a satisfying reader experience in the second half. Given, however, that you send the first few pages in your query, and that the modern audience demands instant gratification, it's clear that my book needs to engage people right from the very start. To be clear, there's plenty of action in the opening of my book, but it takes time for the deeper, more emotionally resonant themes to develop. (Furthermore, as I highlighted in my other question, my character isn't initially very likeable.) <Q> There may be action, but perhaps what you are missing is conflict. <S> (Conflict is the MC personally having to make choices and solve problems, not just reacting to or living through "action".) <S> You only need one early incident (in the first 15% of the story) of your MC actually performing an altruistic act to help somebody, even a stranger, to get the sympathy of the reader. <S> You need to show they are at heart a good person, even if they are irritable or think the worst of many other people, when it comes down to it they have some sense of justice or charity or humanity. <S> When you do that, make this altruism cost him! <S> Hours, irritation, slipping and falling in the damn mud, whatever. <S> But he perseveres. <S> Altruistic acts that cost nothing are not as endearing as persisting in your altruistic act despite experiencing costs, or persisting knowing <S> it will cost you. <S> Also, this act doesn't have to benefit a human. <S> For example, it can be to free an animal that has been trapped somehow, tangled in some garbage a thoughtless person discarded in a field. <S> Or a baby animal trapped in some mud. <S> A painful altruistic act that nobody is going to know about (except the reader) is even more endearing. <S> Especially if somebody asks him and he doesn't brag on it. <S> " <S> What happened, Mike?" -- "What's it look like? <S> I fell in the damn mud." <S> A working definition of "evil" in fiction is somebody willing to hurt innocent people for their own selfish gain, pleasure, or power (or out of selfishness is willing to allow them to be hurt). <S> You need to show the reader your MC is NOT evil, but is actively good. <S> Otherwise, watching somebody we don't give a crap about running about doing things is meh . <S> The MC can be an anti-hero, but anti-heroes are shown to have some redeeming quality in the story setup. <S> The hitman hero has a puppy that loves him (John Wick). <A> Often books take a while to get into when they have a slow start, when not much is happening for the first part of the novel. <S> However, you say that's not the case with you - you have plenty of action. <S> I would therefore surmise that the problem is exactly the one you point out in your other question: readers are not particularly invested in your MC . <S> If readers don't care about your MC, it doesn't matter that there's action - the readers have no stake in it. <S> Imagine reading that some two celebrities you've never heard of had a breakup - it doesn't matter how dramatic the breakup was, <S> if you have no idea who those celebrities are, you couldn't care less. <S> That's the position you're putting your readers into. <S> What to do? <S> Make the MC more compelling, give us a reason to care. <S> How? <S> First and foremost, I think, make his internal monologue interesting. <S> Make him someone we'd want to listen to. <S> Maybe he has a unique view on things, maybe he's witty, maybe he's particularly observant <S> , maybe something else - we're supposed to listen to him talk, so it'd better be good. <S> Second, give him some compelling trait. <S> Maybe it's his sense of humour. <S> Maybe it's his audacity. <S> Maybe he's a gentle and devoted son. <S> Anything. <S> The moment we have a reason to care about the MC, the action and conflict would come into focus, and the whole novel would be much more engaging. <A> How about putting a scene from a later chapter at the beginning and then doing a flashback to tell the story of how it began? <S> I've read/viewed multiple franchises who do that (with varying degrees of success). <A> You may have to consider whether the first half is necessary. <S> You can tell a story starting from any point, after all. <S> If the story people care for only starts there...

Your character might be unlikable to other characters, but for me it would be impossible to get people interested in an MC that they don't like at all.

Can I use the passive voice to avoid referring to myself in a scientific report? I'm writing a report for a piece of University coursework, but I understand that I should avoid referring to myself as "me" or "I". I've seen an example piece in which the author occasionally referred to themselves as "the author", but this seems a little clunky depending how I use it. Would it be better to use the passive voice? For example, in the beginning of my report should I write The author will consider several arguments... or Several arguments will be considered... Which looks better? Are there better alternatives to "the author"? <Q> Passive tone is the preferred tone in scientific writing. <S> As much as is possible, avoid references to people doing things and instead refer to the actions that are performed (who does it is unimportant to scientific writing). <A> You can also use the royal "we", even if there was only one person doing it. <S> "We conditioned the matrices using ..."   <S> "After these adjustments, we found a significant increase in ..." <S> We use this extensively. <S> We think it improves readability as well. <S> It has never been mentioned as an issue in any (of many) peer reviews. <A> You've pretty much got the 3 choices. <S> Use first person with active voice, use passive voice, or use 3rd person stating "the author" (or "the writer," "the researcher," etc). <S> I will say it depends on the field. <S> I too was taught that only the latter two were acceptable (and mostly the passive voice one). <S> But I've seen plenty of academic papers that use first person (mostly I've seen it in plural, but not entirely). <S> As long as it's done sparingly and very professionally, it can work. <S> But it really depends on what your peers have done. <S> You can always ask! <A> Using "we consider" is also popular, but passive voice is better IMO. <S> Also it is better if you use present tense instead of future when possible. <S> " <S> Several arguments are considered..." instead of "Several arguments will be considered...". <S> It is a bad tone to refer to things not yet presented. <A> This depends on the style guide. <S> In APA, you should prefer "I": <S> Here are two common cases in which you should prefer the active voice rather than the passive voice: <S> Use the active voice to describe your own actions. <S> Use  I to refer to yourself if you worked alone and  <S> we if you worked as part of a group (see  <S> PM 3.09 for more). <S> Active voice: I conducted an experiment about body image. <S> Passive voice: An experiment about body image was conducted. <S> Principles of Writing: Passive and Active Voice <S> This has several advantages. <S> It tends to lead to shorter, clearer sentences. <S> Most people prefer reading active voice sentences. <S> It also avoids a potential source of confusion: "the author" could refer to the author of a paper that was cited, while "I" is unambiguous.

It is  completely permissible , and in fact encouraged, to use the first person to describe your own actions in APA Style. Passive voice is common for scientific papers so it is recommended to use it. In your case, it depends on what your professor thinks is okay.

Authorship implications of presenting one’s manuscript as an older one in the prologue Umberto Eco, E. T. A. Hoffmann and others have pretended (in the introduction to the story) to have found and edited obscure old manuscripts. In my view this added to the charm of their writings. If I attempt such a thing and do it well, do I risk the publisher denying my authorship and rights? <Q> Pretending to "have found and edited an obscure manuscript" is quite a common literary device. <S> A few other examples include Neil Gaiman's The Dream Hunters (Illustrated by Yoshitako Amano, part of the Sandman series) and William Goldman's The Princess Bride . <S> You will note that in all examples, while the pretence is maintained within the body of the text, the book is credited to the real author . <S> It's right there, on the cover. <S> Which is to say, it is a game played inside the story, but never crossing over into the world of publishing. <S> You approach a publisher, you present your work as what it really is - your work, using a fun literary device. <A> I don't think so. <S> It's purely a literary device And an old one, at that. <S> Some classical, widely recognized authors have used it in the past (Manzoni's Promessi Sposi - or <S> The Betrothed comes to my mind. <S> Another one is Cervantes' Don Quixote ). <S> Authors used to do this for a variety of reasons - for example, Manzoni did it so he could place his work in the past and avoid censorship for being critical of the government of northern Italy. <S> You may find other - more recent - examples in this researchgate question or searching "found manuscript" device on Google. <S> Aside from being a well-established literary device, you won't risk your publisher denying you anything. <S> Update and Edit: <S> My previous statement about classical Greek and Latin authors using this device remains unproved, so I have ruled it out from the answer. <S> At the present time, I could only find information about Dictys Cretensis, <S> Ephemeris belli Troja as a possible example, even if it could be a bordeline example between literary forgery and pseudoepigrapha. <S> I have found other notable examples: The Castle of Otranto by Walpole, a 1764 precursor to the gothic novel, Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach, from the 13th century, <S> Nabokov's Pale Fire in modern times (it's interesting since it references two fictional authors instead of just one) - <A> This is an accepted literary device, as others have said. <S> However, it would be wise to avoid claiming your "old manuscript" was by a historical figure, especially if they wrote books that are still read. <S> That's really asking for confusion to break out. <S> Claiming that the old manuscript was by a living person risks all sorts of complications, and should definitely be avoided.

They would need a copy of the "found" manuscript to claim ownership, and such copies don't exist, and you can (I suppose) easily prove authorship of anything you've written. If your work is good - so good that they want to claim it - they will have better chances working with you rather than trying to put up such a scam.

Using the grammatically correct way or the casual way to express the same idea in another language? In casual conversation, it is perfectly fine to end a sentence with a preposition. How many job applications did you apply to? The grammatically correct way is supposed to be: To how many job applications did you apply? If the original language's sentence is grammatically correct, then does that mean the English translated sentence must be grammatically correct as well? Or should the casual form be adopted instead to just get the meaning across? My biggest fear is that a monolingual English speaker will read the line in English and interpret that line as being grammatically incorrect, assuming the source language is grammatically incorrect as well, even though the main purpose is not the grammatical correctness. It's the casual tone that is being translated. The characters may in fact be speaking grammatically correctly, just in a different language. <Q> Technically, not ending a sentence with a preposition is a rule that Latin-obsessed 17th-century nerds tried to impose on the English Language, as a part of a larger attempt to make English grammar work exactly the same as Latin grammar. <S> This rule wasn't true for English grammar before the 17th century, and doesn't really reflect modern usage either, though it is taught, and some official texts insist on it. <S> It is perfectly alright to end sentences with prepositions . <S> (Sources: Oxford Dictionary blog , Merriam Webster Dictionary usage notes ) To the broader question of tone vs. correctness, when translating text, you want to preserve the language register of the original text , the tone of what is being said. <S> If you alter the register, you are changing what the situation "feels like" - you're changing who the characters are - how they talk, how they interact with each other. <S> Those "errors" have become part of everyday usage, whereas the "correct" form is "formal". <S> When that is the case, the usage is what it is. <S> If your characters were speaking English, that's how they would have said it, right? <S> They would not have used the formal form? <S> Then don't use the formal form. <A> You're up against the difference between translation and transliteration. <S> Transliterations simply involve word for word substitution from one language to the closest available word in another. <S> True translations should convey <S> the meaning of the original material in a different language, that includes nuances of tone and even the use of local idioms where possible. <S> Translations are usually better than transliterations because they convey meaning but are sometimes impossible due to the fact that not all languages have words for all the concepts that other languages have words for. <A> In general, the usual expectation for translations is that they be "invisible," that is, that they not call attention to themselves. <S> Given that, the idiomatic expression is the correct choice. <S> The use of formal language in a casual setting calls attention to itself in a way that is not true for the less strict phrasing. <A> It is more a matter of tone, but the redundancy of applying for a job application rather than a job will be noticed. <S> Maintain the tone and choose the more formal one if the original is more formal. <S> You have many alternatives: <S> How many jobs have you applied for? <S> How many positions have you applied for? <S> To how many jobs have you applied? <S> How many jobs did you apply for? <S> For how many jobs did you apply? <S> For how many positions have you applied? <S> To how many positions have you applied? <S> How many job applications have you filled out? <A> Ideally a good translation transports the original's: meaning style <S> subtext connotations etc. <S> This is usually not possible, because different languages work differently, and a translater will have to make a choice which aspect to preserve. <S> This choice will depend on: genre audience expectations of the publisher or author <S> What you must do in your case, only you can know.

In some languages and some situations, some grammatical errors are more acceptable.

Is it okay to use a lot of exclamation marks? I've noticed that I use a lot of exclamation marks when my characters are talking. They appear a lot in action scenes. Is there any rule of thumb when using exclamation marks? <Q> I've been told, by professional teachers of creative writing no less, that the correct number of exclamation marks to use in any finished piece of writing is zero; I've also read the works of Terry Pratchett and know that this is not necessarily the case. <S> In many ways it depends more on the target audience and/or the tone of the piece than there actually being any hard and fast rule. <S> In serious literary fiction they shouldn't be used; rather the exclamation should be given in a character's actions and your description of their demeanor and body language. <S> For less serious pieces, and for pieces written to be read aloud, more punctuation and less description can be useful in getting the story, and in particular the dialogue, to flow naturally. <A> It will lose impact with frequent use. <S> It generally indicates a person who is being most emphatic and probably yelling or coming close to yelling. <S> Intense emotion, but intensity cannot be of long duration or it loses its power. <S> If your characters are often yelling, it might make more sense to simply use the appropriate verb. <S> Here are some examples: <S> “You are not going out <S> that door!”he said, “I will lock it behind you!” <S> “You are not going out that door,” he snapped, “I will lock it behind you.” <S> “Go out that door, I will lock it behind you.” <S> “You are not going out that door. <S> I will lock it behind you!” <S> The first one becomes very choppy in pace and the tension is fading. <S> The second one has a bit more punch and the guy might mean it. <S> The third one is more natural and contains the emotion in the diction and word order. <S> The last one indicates a rising level of anger but still might not merit an exclamation point. <A> It would be helpful if you could provide a sample of your writing. <S> It is a bit hard to judge whether you're using too many exclamation marks, if we can't see how many you're using. <S> :) <S> As a general rule, your characters wouldn't be exclaiming all the time, would they? <S> That's not how people talk in real life. <S> Exclamation marks should be used sparingly, like raising your voice - if you're doing it all the time, the intention of extra emphasis becomes diluted, and only the annoyance remains. <S> But, you might well ask, tone doesn't transfer seamlessly into writing. <S> For example, "thanks. <S> " sounds ungrateful, bland, compared to "thanks!". <S> To address that, as a writer, you have words at your disposal. <S> Instead of having a character say "thanks!!!", he can say "thank you so very much. <S> This truly means a lot to me." <S> Instead of emphasising with punctuation, you can emphasise with words. <S> There is an exception, and that, as you mention yourself, is action scenes. <S> An officer's order is "Fire!" <S> A comrade's warning is "Get down!" <S> A cry for help is "Medic!" <S> All warrant the extra emphasis, as all demand immediate action. <S> In a tense combat scene, there's no time to be wordy - things need to be said fast, and they need to draw that extra attention. <S> In such a situation, it makes sense that many exclamation marks would be used, just as it would have made sense to be shouting those words. <S> Read your work again, consider whether in the situation you are describing, an alternative way of adding emphasis can be used. <S> If not, it must be that the exclamation mark is the right tool to use. <A> There is no "rule of thumb". <S> What I want to add to other answers is that if English is not your first language, you should probably use less exclamation marks than you want. <S> English is one of the most restrained languages with understatement being the norm. <S> Where other yell, Englishmen hardly raise the voice. <S> (Don't argue! <S> This is true!!!) <S> Consequently, you'll see fewer exclamation marks in a typical English text. <A> Exclamation marks should be used sparingly. <S> If every sentence is in all caps with three exclamation marks at the end, it's just tiring. <S> Like many things in writing, it's difficult to give any hard and fast rule, like "no more than one exclamation mark per page" or some such. <S> It all depends. <S> But if you are using more than one exclamation mark on the average per page, that's almost surely too much. <S> If you have more than two sentences in a row that end with an exclamation mark, that is almost surely too much. <S> I'm sure one could think of exceptions. <S> Like maybe if you want to portray one character as being very excitable, and so every other sentence he says ends with an exclamation, maybe. <A> This is the kind of question that can be answered by looking at books you admire. <S> Find the most exciting, vivid novel you can, and see how many exclamation points the author uses. <S> Not very many, I suspect. <S> Then, without copying the author's words, try to learn from what they did to create the vividness that you experience. <S> I recognize that this is the kind of answer that can be applied to lots of questions on this site, so I hope it's not inappropriate. <S> But sometimes a real example of writing that works is more reliable than any piece of advice. <A> Brian Blessed, a large and loud British actor has written at least one book that is just full of exclamation marks. <S> There will be a sentence with one at the end, then the next sentence will have two. <S> The next three. <S> It's weird, but also fitting because he is known to shout instead of talking. <S> After a while it became just a quirky thing i paid little attention to while reading. <S> TLDR Go ahead and use all the exclamation marks you want, but accept that your readers may think you're a little strange.

The exclamation point is a very powerful punctuation and is normally used sparingly. There may be some rules , but in most cases it comes down to taste.

How should I handle writing a story where different portions of the narrative are told from the point of view of several different narrators? My story is told from the perspective of different satellites that are creating a narrative. There are over ten of these narrators. I'm wondering if this might appear confusing for readers if the voice of the author is never seen anywhere in the story. So every paragraph in the story has a different character attached to it as the narrator. I have several reasons for this. One is to detach a reader from any of the narrators. Don't bother forming any kind of connection to a narrator, because some of them appear once and never again. Another point is to establish a hierarchy. Without some characters first speaking, no one else can. In some way, I am intentionally trying to drown the readers in several narrators to the point where whoever is telling the story doesn't really matter. The story remains coherent with or without the narrators. What is the best way to present this that won't confuse the reader? <Q> I can think at at least two great novels who do this in a different way: 1) <S> La Horde du Contrevent, by A. Damasio. <S> In this french fantasy, a team composed of 20 members marches over a windy realm. <S> The story unfolds over a sequence of paragraphs. <S> Each paragraph is the inner voice of a character. <S> The reader knows who's speaking thanks to a tiny symbol appended to the paragraph, a nice device that could simply be replaced by the name of the character. <S> The novel is wonderful. <S> 2) Dracula. <S> Dracula is written as a series of letters and diary entries by 4 main characters plus several other minor elements. <S> The device is not 100% realistic, but it delivers. <S> In none of these examples the reader is confused on who's speaking and what is happening. <S> The intention of the narrator is clear, the description of action is clear, and the different psychologies of the narrators are clear. <S> There is absolutely no rule that says that the narrator must be unique in the story. <S> What is more interesting is asking "why" to do such a technique. <S> Is there a specific reason why the story is narrated through 10 point of views instead of, for example, a single omniscent external narrator? <S> This question probably will help you to get a stronger valid reason to proceed the way you think. <A> This isn't a standard short story, so present it in the most clear and understandable format, so your readers won't have to play guessing games, like so: <S> Mark : I met Jim when we were in third grade. <S> He was a pushy kid. <S> Jim : I always thought Mark was such a wimp. <S> Lisa : It bothered me that Jim was always beating Mark up. <S> This will give it kind of a documentary feel. <S> It won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it will be easy to comprehend, and could be effective if done well. <S> It may look intrusive, but it will fade to the background pretty quickly, because it's functional (versus forcing people to guess, every 5 seconds, "well who is this now?"). <S> From a writing standpoint, the typical challenges around multiple narrators are (a) giving us a reason to care about each of them in this very short period of time, (b) giving them distinct voices, and (c) giving us a larger event that we care about to unify the narratives. <S> However, given your aims, it sounds like <S> a and b might not be priorities for you. <S> So in that case, your biggest challenge is c . <A> @FraEnrico talks about epistolary novels, and I agree with him - it does sound very much like what you're trying to do. <S> What troubles me, however, is that usually one would have epistolary novels . <S> You seem to be going for an epistolary short story . <S> Ten characters are often a bit much for a short story; you want ten narrators . <S> I'm not saying that it can't work, but <S> I am saying that you've got your work cut out for you. <S> You've got to mark out very clearly who's speaking at every given point, and you've got to help the audience not get them all confused. <S> Not just "help the audience understand who's speaking right now", but also help the audience remember which bits this particular narrator told before, how those bits tie together, why it's he, and not another narrator, who's telling this bit. <S> If, as you mention in a comment, you want readers to ignore the fact that different people are telling the story, and just focus on the story, why do you need so many narrators in the first place? <S> Why can't it be just one invisible narrator (you) narrating the whole thing? <S> Usually, multiple narrators would be used when they have a stake in the story - when they've been there, when they see things in a particular way that might contrast with the way another narrator would see the same events. <S> But you're saying you want the readers to ignore the narrators. <S> So what is it that they add? <S> If any element of a story is to be ignored, why is it there in the first place?

As long as the reader knows what's happening, whoever is the narrating voice doesn't matter. In effect, you don't really have 10 separate narrators, you have one narrator in 10 parts, or, in other words, a Greek Chorus .

Switching POV from First to Third I have written a complete book. However, as I was revising, I noticed that what I have in first person does not work entirely. I also noticed that I constantly invade the thoughts of the other character as I look through the eyes of the main character. Is there a way to transition a whole, complete novel from one POV to another? I am aware that it will most likely not be an easy change. <Q> I think once you start, you'll know if it's the right decision. <S> I would say start doing it (in a new file in case you change your mind) and see how you feel about it. <S> When I was questioning whether to switch my story from past tense to present, I started doing it and loved it immediately. <S> It changed the pacing and it just felt right. <S> Changing perspective is a bigger task, but I don't think writers should be afraid of big changes. <S> If it's going to make your story better, it's worth the rewrite. <A> The story might still work better in first person and you can fix it can stay that way. <S> You could rewrite the parts where the narrator seems to know what other people think and make it clear that s/ <S> he doesn't, really, because the characters make it plain by their later actions that they did not think that all. <S> Or you could, instead, have the other characters betray their emotions in an obvious way such as tone of voice or mannerisms, so that the narrator can pick up on their actual thoughts or emotions. <S> you could even make the narrator a body language expert or something like that to justify his/her ability to read people. <A> You're right, it isn't. <S> Changing a novel from first to third person doesn't just involve slapping the name of the viewpoint character on instead of I, and changing a few minor words. <S> I wrote a short story once, and about halfway through <S> , I realized that while first person was a great way to convey a few scenes with heart-racing action and fast-paced scenes, that was only two or three scenes. <S> After making the switch to third person, I realized that I had to throw out half the short story... <S> So, the issue ended up being resolved, but the lesson for me held true. <S> I hope this is helpful, and not just me ranting.

Sometimes, a scene in a novel has to be rewritten in order to accommodate for the shift.

How to describe a character without dialogue? I have a slave who is not sure if she's allowed to speak at the moment, and I want to introduce her owner. How can I do it without bogging it down with an essay on him? <Q> Have her observe him carefully, perhaps apprehensively. <S> She is terrified that this owner will be cruel to her, but hopes that she might find ways of appeasing him. <S> She must observe him to learn the truth of him. <S> Has she been sold to someone who will use her with some kindness or will she wish herself dead or dream of his death? <S> Perhaps something like: Kia crouched where she had been left, watching the man enter the room. <S> He was tall, strong and had her life in his hands. <S> She watched him, just out of the corner of her eye. <S> Never give eye contact, that can get you beaten. <S> Never take your eyes off him, must know what kind of man he was. <S> She saw his curt gesture to rise and rose to her full height, glancing away. <S> He walked up to her, raising her chin with his hand firmly, but gently. <S> Looking into his eyes for the first time, she did not know if she should hope or curse the fate that had led her tribe to defeat and them into slavery. <S> “I see no sign of injury or deformities, so you can talk. <S> You are wise enough to be silent, you might be useful in the kitchen.” <S> She looked away, cooking and cleaning for this man was something she could do if she must, but her home was gone, parents dead and <S> this was the life she had left to her. <S> No choice but to obey, but it could have been worse, much worse. <A> Who's your point-of-view character? <S> If it's your slave, and she's the only one who can't speak, it's easy. <S> The buyer left her in the courtyard, pointing at the ground as if to say "Stay, dog!" <S> Kate stood, moving only her eyes. <S> The fountain. <S> Flowerbeds. <S> Locked doors. <S> A lattice through which she could distantly see eyes and hear muffled giggles - the zenana. <S> She shuddered, smelling her own stink in her rags caked with sweat and vomit after the voyage. <S> A man came through the great mahogany door. <S> It was silently locked behind him. <S> She dropped her gaze, but she had seen the sword, the silks, the gleaming teeth and glossy hair. <S> He walked around her. " <S> What have they brought me this time. <S> Good God, have they not even washed her?" <S> He turned and shouted, "Wash this thing, throw out the clothes and return it to me" - and the door burst open and hands hurried her across the courtyard and through corridors to a cavernous room with a hot pool. <A> In your comment you said, Well, I just don't want to describe him too deeply, and I tend to write a lot about the thoughts of a character. <S> This is the challenge of many short story and novel writers -- even many who are published. <S> Movie-Screen Of The Mind <S> Many fiction writers are writing more about what they are thinking than what their characters are thinking. <S> That's because : it is easy to type what your thinking, it is a bit more difficult to write a scene that describes what is really happening and will convince a reader that the events are actually happening. <S> Most writers don't even have an idea of a scene before they begin typing so that puts them behind at the beginning. <S> First, imagine what your character is actually doing. <S> Let's say he is chopping a tree down. <S> Arvid looked at the tree, looked at the axe in his right hand. <S> He grabbed the axe with his left hand too and squeezed the handle tight. <S> He pulled back and swung hard at the tree, the axe head slammed into the side of the tree and sent vibrations up the handle. <S> He yelled and swung again. <S> It's stuff you can see. <S> Next layer emotions as more events happen. <S> Why is what you are showing important. <S> Maybe he drops the axe on his foot and kicks a dog showing that he is a mean person. <S> The point is, show something happening, not just characters sitting around thinking about things. <S> To do this, you must decide on : what the character wants what the conflict for the scene is what or who opposes what thecharacter wants why the scene is important to the story (does it expose a plotelement or show the reader who the character is?) <S> If the scene hasno point, rip it out.

You must first commit to only writing what you see the characters doing.

How to introduce multiple outfits in a short amount of time? I have seven main characters, each with a different role and outfit. They get their equipment from one shop, and go adventuring soon after. How do I explain each outfit without making it sound like a fashion lineup? Also, I'll be doing similar things multiple times. Do you know how I can do that a couple times a book? <Q> If you give the reader too much information up front, they will not remember it. <S> It's hard to remember a lot of details before you can even tell the characters apart. <S> To you they're individuals with their own personalities and life stories. <S> To the reader, they're a crowd. <S> So go ahead and describe some of the purchases but refer back to them in later chapters, when relevant to the character and plot. <S> You don't even have to say who purchased what in that shop-outing chapter. <S> Use it for the reader to know what clothing and equipment are like in your world. <S> Wait for later chapters to connect it to specific characters. <S> And save some details for later too. <S> Like maybe the shop sells the group 6 swords, 7 fighting knives, and a spear. <S> You can show one character picking out her sword in that scene, but just summarize for the rest. <S> In chapter 5, another character can demonstrate (show directly, not explain) why he didn't buy a sword but just goes for his perfectly balanced knife. <S> Ditto clothes, shoes, hats, packs, etc. <S> Add in the detail as the story progresses and don't overwhelm your reader. <A> I'd suggest grouping them into manageable sizes, making some sort of joke out of it, and making mnemonics with their names. <S> Here is a very bad example . <S> It's only to make the point. <S> Finding good names and strategies will take time, but seven is way too many without some memory aid for your reader. <S> "I see the knife brigade has arrived. <S> " <S> Compound looked over. <S> Yes, Cross was right. <S> The four warriors entering the pub each carried a blade of some sort, each a different length and style. <S> " <S> Those guys," Compound said. <S> "They must be Shorty, Double-edge, Rapier and I guess the lady on the end is Broad." <S> Double-edge stood just inside the door and looked their group up and down. <S> He said with a laugh, "Archers? <S> Seriously?" <S> " Proud archers," Cross replied. <S> "I'm Cross, this is Compound, and our tall friend at the bar is Long." <S> That's bad, as I said, <S> but I hope it illustrates something useful (it probably doesn't.) <S> Still, you know what sort of weapon Broad carries, and what sort of weapon Long carries, even with that short treatment. <S> Et cetera. <S> Same idea for garments. <A> Each character is different and entirely your own, therefore you decide what they where and what they do. <S> What is most common is to have a character do something that draws attention to something they do, and in turn, draw attention to what they are wearing.

I would do this the same way you introduce multiple characters: slowly over time and as needed. Also, if you don't want it to be like a fashion line-up, try spacing the descriptions of the outfits throughout the entire chapter, or perhaps have them all come in at different time or little groups.

How young can a "motherly" character be? So, in my novel, I have a mother-type character that's a little young to be a mom (am planning on having her have a child she's planning on saving). So, I wanted to know your opinions on how far I can push the bounds realistically on the "mother" character. <Q> I'd say that the qualities of motherly characters aren't inherently tied to being "able to bear children" or "old enough to be a mother". <S> Aside from the fact that (as other noted) people used to make offspring earlier in the past (mainly due to culture and shorter lifespan), I'd say this: Most key components of "being motherly" <S> aren't related with the physical act of giving birth <S> Being motherly boils down to: being caring being compassionate being kind being reassuring being empathetic (aka, being aware of other people emotions and act accordingly) being good around children <S> Now all those things don't necessarily imply that the character in question has given birth. <S> You can write a perfectly believable baby-sitter coming off as motherly just because she's kind, she's good at treating the children, and enjoys taking care of other people needs. <S> Some of the people I know exhibited those traits well before being of the legal (or even biological) age required to bear children. <S> So while it's not a general rule (not every girl is motherly by default, of course) <S> it's not uncommon. <S> From a non-gendered view, think about how children of 8-9 years can emulate their parents behaviour when dealing with younger siblings. <S> So, unless you need your character to have a "motherly figure", which would at least require some growth since it's a physical-related trait, she can show those qualities regardless of having a child or not . <S> Age would come into play since a bit of mental and emotional maturity would be needed to show those traits in a consistent way, all the time. <S> Smaller children are more prone to being at least a little egoistic, and that doesn't really work well with all the caring, empathetic part. <S> Also to be "reassuring" you have somehow to be credible, instead of being easily scared (as again, younger children are). <S> In the end, I think that a nine year old can exhibit motherly traits at times , but can't come off consistently as motherly (unless she lives in a society quite different from our modern, first-world one, when children grow more mature faster). <S> So, all around, Galastel comment wraps it up. <S> Wendy in <S> Peter Pan fits the description. <A> I would think that any age is ok <S> - I'm thinking of 4 yr old Daisy in Little Men, lol. <S> It would be less about the age and more about the actions. <S> This is the time to do that "show, don't tell" thing. <S> Throw some sentences in that show her tending to others - plucking lint off their clothes as she smooths their sleeves, making sure someone has all they need before leaving. <S> Think of things a loving mother would do (ruffles hair, chucks under a chin, words of encouragement) and have her do these actions to everyone. <A> If the mother character is the biological mother of the child, very early teens is credible. <S> If she is some girl who wants to care for a child and decides to do so, without any advice or assistance, it can be even younger. <S> I have a character who was forced into a motherly role at twelve, but she had help from others. <S> In the past a fifteen year old girl would be a wife and mother. <A> In 'Romeo and Juliet' Juliet is thirteen and her father initially says she is too young to marry. <S> He then changes his mind. <S> Her mother had been about the same age when she was married and had Juliet.

A teenager could be a more consistent, all-around motherly character just by natural inclination.

Is it much costlier to self-publish a 6x9 book than a 5x8 with a POD printer? Does the amount of pages and/or the number of copies printed determine the cost just as much as trim size? I was thinking of using KDP or possibly Advanced Print & Finishing (bestbookprinting.com), which I think does POD as well, not just offset printing. This is the first time I'm self-publishing, and I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, so forgive me if I'm asking the obvious. Should information about my specific situation or understanding why I'm so confused be necessary to provide an answer, details follow: I've written a book to guide meat eaters on how to accommodate their vegetarian guests, or a family member who has suddenly decided to become vegetarian. It has about 10 or 12 (standard) formatted recipes. The rest appear within the text narrative. This means categorically it's more a guide than a cookbook. The interior of the book will be in B&W, and there won't be any photos or illustrations. I've been told by a number of designers that a 6x9 makes more sense because it's non-fiction and has recipes. When I asked one of the respected top designers in the industry, he said I could probably get away with a 5x8. I assume that was due to the nature of the book - it being a guide. (I'm also not sure if it would seem out-of-place on a shelf if I were to go with the 5x8. Only 2 or 3 health books I've come across - the closest thing I could come to mine for comparison - are that size.) I want to do the right thing, but keep costs down since it's a self-published book, my first, and I'm tapping into a new market, in a sense, so I'm not sure how well it will do. I understand that the number of pages has something to do with cost. I don't have a page count. I couldn't find out the correct margins to input into Word (2007)for the 5x8 and 6x9. And because I didn't format the page layout with proper margins, etc. - I used the default setting - it wouldn't have been accurate, anyway. I can tell you that I typed it in 12-point Times New Roman, double-spaced, and that it's 100 pages. When I looked at some book calculator online, I noticed that the number of copies also contributes to cost: 1-50 copies is X dollars, 51-200 is x dollars.....(not necessarily exact, but you get the idea). But here's the thing. A printer I know told me that you fit 4 pages on a 5x8 sheet, as opposed to only 2 pages on a 6x9 sheet. This would mean that it would cost a lot more to go with a 6x9 book. Is there a big difference if I use KDP over Advanced Print & Finishing (bestbookprinting.com), for example? I believe they do POD, not just offset printing. Can I get a ballpark guesstimate just by the number of copies? <Q> I have a few print books available on Amazon's KDP.You can set up a book and check out the differences very easily at KDP (Kindle Desktop Publishing) <S> The differences in price between those two formats will hardly be noticeable. <A> I'm going to complicate this even more for you. <S> So, yes: More pages cost more. <S> More copies costs less per copy. <S> A larger page costs more. <S> So you're going to have to contact several printers and then take a lot of notes. <S> I started doing this myself for a project <S> and you just can't carry over specifics from one printer to another. <S> In general, the biggest factor is number of copies. <S> This also determines if offset printing (cheaper to do but has a high set-up cost, so is designed for printing several hundred copies or more) or digital printing is best for you. <S> Page number is often in multiples of 4 but most of the book printers I looked at wanted it in multiples of 8. <S> So ask. <S> There isn't a ton of difference between printing, say 96 vs 104 pages, but it will make a difference. <S> Page size will vary in cost not just by the amount of paper but <S> by what are the stock sizes the printer works with, like in the examples you mention above. <S> But this will vary some printer to printer. <S> Not a good choice if you want a fair number of books to physically bring with you places. <S> I don't know about size choices <S> but I recommend going out to a few bookstores with a ruler and taking notes. <S> Chat with the staff and ask them what sizes work best on their shelves and sell best and what happens if you choose an "off" size. <A> You'd have to check with the individual printer. <S> At KDP, cost is based on color vs black & white and number of pages, and that's it. <S> https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G201834340 <S> A 200 page 6x9 books costs exactly the same amount as a 200 page 5x8 book. <S> As you can presumably fit more text on a larger page, and therefore have fewer total pages in the book, a larger trim size should (indirectly) make the total cost of the book lower. <S> You should be able to get an estimate if you know the approximate number of pages and number of copies. <S> And some basics about print format, like paperback vs hardcover and color vs black and white. <S> An offset printer will normally give you discounts as the quantity goes up. <S> How are you planning to sell your book? <S> If you're going to sell it on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, then with KDP you don't order any copies. <S> Create Space <S> (Amazon's printer) prints them as needed to fill orders. <S> Ditto if you use Lulu. <S> I don't know about bestbookprinting.com, <S> I'd never heard of them before reading your question. <S> If you're planning to sell personally, then you'll have to order a bunch of copies to have a stock to sell from. <S> How many you order will depend on how many you expect to sell.

Print on demand is way cheaper for you but costs a lot more per book. Every printer is different! KDP charges the same price per copy regardless of how many copies you order.

In a first-person web novel, how to make the reader aware of a motivator the POV is unaware of? In my novel, the MC (and POV character) spares an enemy. He spared the enemy because he empathized/identified himself with them, but he was not aware of it. Later on he will understand his feelings and eventually make amends and the enemy will shift into a friend as they solve their conflict. (MC is dense). Some readers questioned why he did that (spare the enemy). But I don't know how to expose this detail to the reader when the POV is unaware of it. What should I do? <Q> Ensure there's enough objective external cues to indicate precisely that. <S> For example, did his throat start to sting or his eyes tear up when he saw his enemy in pain? <S> In addition, perhaps have him confuse his feelings for a similar, but considerably less friendly feeling, like pity. <S> You can get creative too, talk about an internal conflict using his actions; for example, his weapon-bearing hand may shake as he raises his sword/puts his finger on the trigger, before ultimately he lowers his weapon. <S> Perhaps he himself asks 'What am I doing?' <S> - initially it may seem like he's asking why he's sparing them, but on a later read, will be more obviously asking why he was considering becoming a killer for the greater good. <S> There's lots of ways it can be done. <A> That is, after the fact, your MC could be commenting <S> I don't know why I did it <S> Or something similar. <S> What you're doing here, is you're acknowledging to the reader that the MC is acting seemingly "out of character" - not in the way the reader would have expected them to act. <S> You're letting the reader know that this is intended, not a "mistake" on your part, and that an explanation will be given later. <S> If you think about it, we're quite used to this in literature: something happens, later we find out why. <S> Taking this route, you don't have to inform the reader of something your first person narrator is unaware of - the reader can come to the realisation together with the character. <S> Of course, talking of motivation, it is also a good idea to give some hint of what might be affecting the MC. <S> If the enemy's story is similar to the MC's, the reader can draw the parallels without being explicitly told this is what affected the MC. <S> If the enemy reminds the MC of someone, you can describe the two in similar fashion, so the reader too might be reminded of the same character. <S> Etc. <A> Have a third party observe his actions and let them linger on the MC's reasons for doing what he did. <S> This way you can let the MC be oblivious to his own reasons for sparing his enemy, while the reader becomes aware of it. <S> This technique is also seen a lot with unlikeable antiheroes. <S> A third party explains why the things they do are for the greater good (or a lesser evil). <S> And there you go. <S> You can also find examples in the many interpretations of the stories of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. <A> Perhaps he never killed before. <S> His struggles against this enemy were something he had no problem with, but when the moment came, he just can’t. <S> His weapon might drop as he considers what he is about to do - kill a vulnerable and unarmed man. <S> He might think that killing even this person could change him, make him no better than the enemy. <S> Or, if he is completely unaware of his own motivations, just have him unable because of his uncertainty. <S> Perhaps the enemy, seeing his hesitation, says something that tips the balance - or unbalances him further - allowing him to escape. <S> If the MC is rather dense, perhaps the enemy is not and suspects the reason. <S> A ‘knew he couldn’t do it, we are opposite sides of the same coin’ situation.

Since you're telling the story in first person, and the MC does something without understanding why, you could lampshade it.