monomer/program_peace · Datasets at Hugging Face

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build yourself a stolid countenance that is so convincing that it is beyond reproach
Alternatively most of the exercises here can be performed with a close friend or ina
group and encourage you to do so after first practicing them on your own Fostering a low
stakes environment will make it dramatically easier to bring your new postures into the wider
world To this end recommend that you start by discussing the ideas in this book with close
friends and family You can create an understanding with your loved ones that your relationship
is better off without submissive signaling Instead of making each other weaker you can train
Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training
each other to feel comfortable and at ease in strength Ask your roommate or spouse to walk
around your home like they own the place Tell them to expect you to do the same
If you dont have this discussion with the people close to you they may become
disheartened not understanding why you seem different However if you explain the practice
to them you can transform them whether they perform the programs specific exercises or not
When they see you relaxed standing straight and speaking in a powerful voice they will find
themselves mirroring you without even thinking about it
Program Peace will give you the knowledge and exercises you need to progress to a point
where you have the strength of personality to dominate everyone in your life But you dont
want to dominate people Domination is an aggressive attempt to get someone to submit It is
abusive and will repel even your close friends and family You simply want to be dominant
Being dominant doesnt stop others from also being dominant Its not a competition
Domination is onesided and aggressive but dominance is not So that we are clear on the
difference for the final section of this chapter lets more clearly define aggression
Dominant Nonverbals Make Aggression Unnecessary
A very early version of this book that started working on in my late teens set out to describe
the many costs of aggression saw aggression as a pitiful coping tactic that is often rewarded in
the short term but ultimately results in negativity saw it as a vestigial instinct and a heuristic
that people employ inflexibly and far too frequently felt that by living my life without
aggression reaped many benefits wanted to share with others how to use diplomacy and a
nice guy approach to navigate difficult social situations
However to avoid appearing aggressive accentuated my subordination displays and
debilitated myself through intense selfhandicapping spent so much energy placating people
and repressing my personality that became perpetually distressed In trying to let go of
aggressiveness had also unwittingly lost my assertiveness But this is only because was
confusing the two
Much of this book is about how to perceive the distinction between aggression and
assertion so you can act confidently knowing you are maintaining your ground without
threatening others What do assertion and aggression mean to you In the animal behavior
literature the word assertion is constructive while aggression is destructive An animal
chasing down its prey is acting assertively because it needs to eat An animal hurting another
without benefit to itself is being aggressive In mammals the brain pathways controlling
aggression like fighting members of your species are entirely distinct from the brain pathways
for searching out and obtaining prey
For example a cat pursuing a rat does not hiss or arch its back The active brain areas
reflect hunger rather than anger If you were to wipe out the aggression and anger systems of
a carnivores brain it could still be a stonecold predator On the other hand when a cat is
aggressive toward another cat it is almost always impelled by fear Aggression is a destructive
use of force that is rooted in trauma and insecurity If more people knew this basic neurological
truth they likely wouldnt praise aggressiveness or confuse aggression with assertion
At its core this book is about being assertive without being aggressive That means being
selfpossessed but also kind at the same time It is difficult have spent my life trying to be
both but have only come close in the last few years Many people see being assertive and
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
being nice as two distinct modes that are incompatible or mutually exclusive Religious
leaders tell us to be nice at the expense of being assertive Dating coaches and business gurus
tell us to be assertive at the expense of being nice Like most stressed primates we mistakenly
believe that we are forced to choose between these two options
Because our psychological schemas for assertiveness are often conflated with those for
aggression many people find it impossible to be one without the other This means that as
soon as they start acting nonsubmissive they inadvertently also start being intrusive pushy
and unkind They cant help it they have never learned to make this fundamental distinction
Once you can discern between assertion and aggression you can be powerful without malice
You can simultaneously be confident and friendly poised and thoughtful dominant and pure of
heart The key is exhibiting incorrigibly courageous body language while still having your
intentions in the right place Ultimately you want to make your nonverbals ruthless
uncompromising and unapologetic but you want to temper this by making your words
humble considerate and affectionate
Mammals that dont feel threatened dont get angry They also dont threaten others
As we will discuss in the next chapter aggression usually follows desperation It is a form of
compensation for the inability to be calm while being assertive In fact in primate literature
aggression is often characterized as submissive threat This indicates that threats come from
monkeys that feel vulnerable or are trying too hard not to be submissive Think of the times
when you have been really aggressive in the past You felt threatened and were breathing in a
shallow distressed manner Correct It is the straight jacket of stress muscle tension pain
and breathlessness that causes us to lash out In preparing us for confrontation it makes us
confrontational
Learning to breathe slowly deeply and on long intervals will help you develop emotional
maturity Doing it in social situations will make you hardened to threats immune to being
dominated exempt from defensive sentimentality and unsusceptible to feeling offended Once
you use Program Peace to train yourself to breathe easily and stop sending submissive displays
you will no longer have to choose between being assertive and doing the right thing This is
because the combination of the two will come with ease
Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training
Chapter Bullet Points
e Submission and aggression are highly detrimental and we want to replace them with
assertiveness and playfulness
e Allmammals use submissive displays to show subordination to more dominant animals
They do this to reduce social conflict over food sex and other resources
e Humans use submissive displays too often just to be friendly
e We commonly use suboptimal body language because we are afraid that otherwise
we might come across as too aggressive
e It is difficult to stop using submissive displays because they become habitual and the
people around us come to expect them
e Your composure posture and breathing style are all products of your social
environment
e Ongoing submissive displays lead to muscle tension that is apparent to others
The chronic muscular strain caused by the display becomes a badge of selfperceived
low status
e As you perform the Program Peace exercises think you will be surprised by how much
and how often you use suboptimal body language due to modesty
e We all suffer from this to different degrees and it causes suboptimal functioning of

build yourself a stolid countenance that is so convincing that it is beyond reproach

Alternatively most of the exercises here can be performed with a close friend or ina

group and encourage you to do so after first practicing them on your own Fostering a low

stakes environment will make it dramatically easier to bring your new postures into the wider

world To this end recommend that you start by discussing the ideas in this book with close

friends and family You can create an understanding with your loved ones that your relationship

is better off without submissive signaling Instead of making each other weaker you can train

Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training

each other to feel comfortable and at ease in strength Ask your roommate or spouse to walk

around your home like they own the place Tell them to expect you to do the same

If you dont have this discussion with the people close to you they may become

disheartened not understanding why you seem different However if you explain the practice

to them you can transform them whether they perform the programs specific exercises or not

When they see you relaxed standing straight and speaking in a powerful voice they will find

themselves mirroring you without even thinking about it

Program Peace will give you the knowledge and exercises you need to progress to a point

where you have the strength of personality to dominate everyone in your life But you dont

want to dominate people Domination is an aggressive attempt to get someone to submit It is

abusive and will repel even your close friends and family You simply want to be dominant

Being dominant doesnt stop others from also being dominant Its not a competition

Domination is onesided and aggressive but dominance is not So that we are clear on the

difference for the final section of this chapter lets more clearly define aggression

Dominant Nonverbals Make Aggression Unnecessary

A very early version of this book that started working on in my late teens set out to describe

the many costs of aggression saw aggression as a pitiful coping tactic that is often rewarded in

the short term but ultimately results in negativity saw it as a vestigial instinct and a heuristic

that people employ inflexibly and far too frequently felt that by living my life without

aggression reaped many benefits wanted to share with others how to use diplomacy and a

nice guy approach to navigate difficult social situations

However to avoid appearing aggressive accentuated my subordination displays and

debilitated myself through intense selfhandicapping spent so much energy placating people

and repressing my personality that became perpetually distressed In trying to let go of

aggressiveness had also unwittingly lost my assertiveness But this is only because was

confusing the two

Much of this book is about how to perceive the distinction between aggression and

assertion so you can act confidently knowing you are maintaining your ground without

threatening others What do assertion and aggression mean to you In the animal behavior

literature the word assertion is constructive while aggression is destructive An animal

chasing down its prey is acting assertively because it needs to eat An animal hurting another

without benefit to itself is being aggressive In mammals the brain pathways controlling

aggression like fighting members of your species are entirely distinct from the brain pathways

for searching out and obtaining prey

For example a cat pursuing a rat does not hiss or arch its back The active brain areas

reflect hunger rather than anger If you were to wipe out the aggression and anger systems of

a carnivores brain it could still be a stonecold predator On the other hand when a cat is

aggressive toward another cat it is almost always impelled by fear Aggression is a destructive

use of force that is rooted in trauma and insecurity If more people knew this basic neurological

truth they likely wouldnt praise aggressiveness or confuse aggression with assertion

At its core this book is about being assertive without being aggressive That means being

selfpossessed but also kind at the same time It is difficult have spent my life trying to be

both but have only come close in the last few years Many people see being assertive and

PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body

being nice as two distinct modes that are incompatible or mutually exclusive Religious

leaders tell us to be nice at the expense of being assertive Dating coaches and business gurus

tell us to be assertive at the expense of being nice Like most stressed primates we mistakenly

believe that we are forced to choose between these two options

Because our psychological schemas for assertiveness are often conflated with those for

aggression many people find it impossible to be one without the other This means that as

soon as they start acting nonsubmissive they inadvertently also start being intrusive pushy

and unkind They cant help it they have never learned to make this fundamental distinction

Once you can discern between assertion and aggression you can be powerful without malice

You can simultaneously be confident and friendly poised and thoughtful dominant and pure of

heart The key is exhibiting incorrigibly courageous body language while still having your

intentions in the right place Ultimately you want to make your nonverbals ruthless

uncompromising and unapologetic but you want to temper this by making your words

humble considerate and affectionate

Mammals that dont feel threatened dont get angry They also dont threaten others

As we will discuss in the next chapter aggression usually follows desperation It is a form of

compensation for the inability to be calm while being assertive In fact in primate literature

aggression is often characterized as submissive threat This indicates that threats come from

monkeys that feel vulnerable or are trying too hard not to be submissive Think of the times

when you have been really aggressive in the past You felt threatened and were breathing in a

shallow distressed manner Correct It is the straight jacket of stress muscle tension pain

and breathlessness that causes us to lash out In preparing us for confrontation it makes us

confrontational

Learning to breathe slowly deeply and on long intervals will help you develop emotional

maturity Doing it in social situations will make you hardened to threats immune to being

dominated exempt from defensive sentimentality and unsusceptible to feeling offended Once

you use Program Peace to train yourself to breathe easily and stop sending submissive displays

you will no longer have to choose between being assertive and doing the right thing This is

because the combination of the two will come with ease

Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training

Chapter Bullet Points

e Submission and aggression are highly detrimental and we want to replace them with

assertiveness and playfulness

e Allmammals use submissive displays to show subordination to more dominant animals

They do this to reduce social conflict over food sex and other resources

e Humans use submissive displays too often just to be friendly

e We commonly use suboptimal body language because we are afraid that otherwise

we might come across as too aggressive

e It is difficult to stop using submissive displays because they become habitual and the

people around us come to expect them

e Your composure posture and breathing style are all products of your social

environment

e Ongoing submissive displays lead to muscle tension that is apparent to others

The chronic muscular strain caused by the display becomes a badge of selfperceived

low status

e As you perform the Program Peace exercises think you will be surprised by how much

and how often you use suboptimal body language due to modesty

e We all suffer from this to different degrees and it causes suboptimal functioning of