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"Stupidest, fucking rule if I ever––"
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"Bella?" Hermione called tentatively. Hand on her wand in case she had to deflect a quick hex. But Bellatrix turned to face her, shoulders deflating. "If it’s any comfort, I think he deserved worse. I can’t believe he tried that."
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"Bad as that was, apparently there’s no rules against it," Bellatrix sneered, arms crossing underneath her chest. "Hooch might force me off the team."
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"I’m sure, given the circumstances, she’ll be lenient. It’s not like you booted him from his broom. You just cast a nasty Bat Bogey curse on him. He’s fine."
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Bellatrix gave a small smile. "Wouldn’t expect you to be fine with that. Shouldn’t I try to be the bigger person, or some troll shit?"
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"Well...if it’d been Harry I would have been cross, since he’s your captain. But Cormac is a tool, and needed to be taken down a peg," Hermione said, remembering what he said at the Christmas Party. "I’m sorry you got benched. Why did he even take your bat?"
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"Thought I swung wrong. As if I hadn’t planned on the bludger hitting him. He was criticising Ginny, as if she’s not the one carrying the whole team," Bellatrix said, rolling her eyes. "You don’t have to wait here. You should go and watch the rest of the match."
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Hermione shrugged. "I’ll stay here," she offered. "Without you there and Cormac being a tool, I’m sure Hufflepuff will win, anyway." Though Ginny would likely be the player who scored the most points, Hermione thought as she took a seat, next to Bellatrix.
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For a moment, they both sat there quietly and then Bellatrix’s knee nudged hers. "I stopped seeing Daphne," she said.
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Hermione looked up. "Oh?"
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"It wasn’t serious with her. I was mostly trying to get information out of her anyway."
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Hermione wasn’t sure how "sleeping with someone’ wasn’t considered in some ways, serious. But maybe that was because she hadn’t had sex with anyone, and Bellatrix and Daphne had. With multiple people.
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Would Bellatrix expect that from her?
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Hermione swallowed, looking at the knee leaning against hers. Suddenly, the change rooms felt hot and cloying and Hermione really wished she wasn’t so anxious about these kinds of things.
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"Hey," Bellatrix said. "I wanted to say thanks, for coming down here."
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"No worries," Hermione returned. "I know you care a lot about Quidditch. You’re really good at it. Have you thought about doing it...after school?"
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Bellatrix gave a tight smile. "I don’t know if that’s possible. It’s one thing to be at Hogwarts where the headmaster is helping to keep you hidden, but the real world is different. My paperwork isn’t with the ministry."
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"It’ll be fine," Hermione assured. "We’ll sort something out."
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Bellatrix gave a tight smile before she stood up. "Who knows how long the match will last, I should––" but Bellatrix was cut off as cheers rang through the stadium. Hermione could hear Luna announcing Hufflepuff’s win, though only by ten points.
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Harry had caught the snitch a moment too late, and Hermione couldn’t help but wonder if the disappointment in her chest was from something more complicated than Quidditch.
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Hermione didn’t address Bellatrix’s relationship status again. Instead, she’d asked to borrow some of Ginny’s witch magazine and had been reading up on sex, privately. Unfortunately, most of the magazine and even Ginny’s romance books were very heterosexual minded. Or if they weren’t, they were penis centric, leaving Hermione feeling...overwhelmed.
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It wasn’t something she could easily go to the library for, as sex ed, especially women focused sex-ed, seemed to be noticeably absent. She could find a half-dozen different love, infatuation and even lust spells. Some contraceptive uses (not full-proof, good to know when she saw Ginny next). But nothing on what she wanted.
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Finally, she wrote to one of the more romance centric bookstores in Diagon Alley, and was provided with a total of three books. One of which was a fade-to-black (unhelpful), and the other that seemed to be whatever the magical version of BDSM was. The third one was somewhat helpful, but it only had one, though admittedly very detailed, sex scene in it.
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How did someone study for sex? Did people just go for it and work it out like flying?
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Hermione hoped not because she wasn’t very good at flying and she really didn’t want that to transfer across into being bad at sex.
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It seemed that she was down at her last chance and needed to talk to someone. Definitely not Ron and Harry, but someone.
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And that involved cornering Ginny in a quiet place where no one would overhear, while Bellatrix was busy.
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Madam Hooch had agreed to not suspend Bellatrix from the rest of Quidditch as McGonagall had agreed to put Bellatrix in detention instead. Something Bellatrix was satisfied with doing, as apparently Professor McGonagall was happy for Bellatrix to leave early...apparently her way of saying she understood Bellatrix’s reaction.
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Nonetheless, it meant on a Saturday evening, Hermione was able to corner Ginny and ask her how she worked out sex.
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"And don’t laugh at me!" Hermione said. "I’m embarrassed enough."
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"I’m not going to laugh," Ginny assured. "I’m more confused. Who are you going to have sex with?"
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"It doesn’t matter."
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Ginny’s eyes narrowed. "It’s not Cormac is it?"
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"No," Hermione assured. "No, he was so pigheaded. I’d rather sleep with Zacharias then him. Though I’m not going to sleep with him either. It’s someone else. And don’t ask me because I don’t even know if I want to."
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Ginny frowned. "Then why are you asking about sex. If you don’t want to, don’t. Is someone pressuring you?"
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"No," Hermione assured. "It’s just that they’ve done it and I haven’t and I don’t know if they have that expectation."
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Ginny nodded. "Okay, well. I get that. It’ll be fine, if the person actually cares about you they’ll make you feel comfortable. Dean learned privacy and cleaning spells and made a little picnic in one of the old classrooms. It was really sweet, actually. He’d stolen some of the candles from the Great Hall so they’d float around the room."
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"That’s...kinda romantic," Hermione admitted. "How did you know what to do?"
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Ginny shrugged. "Penis goes into vagina. It’s not rocket science."
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Hermione deflated. That was unhelpful. "Did you do other stuff?"
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"Sort of. But I mean, you go with what feels nice. Do you know what you like?"
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Hermione found herself reminded of an old conversation with Bellatrix. Blushing, she looked away. "Sure I do. So I just show them what I like and...they show me what they like?"
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"And you listen and focus on what they’re doing. If someone’s enjoying it, you’ll know. People tend to get tense and awkward when something’s uncomfortable. But just talk to them. And don’t lie about liking something because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. I lied to Dean once about what he did, and now he uses that move every time. It’s been going for months, I don’t know what I should do."
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Hermione raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t realised Ginny and Dean were so active. "Talk to him?" She suggested.
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"Yeah, I don’t know. Lately he’s been hanging out with Cormac and laughing with him and honestly...ugh, I hate the two of them together. They’re such boneheads. I told him off about a stupid joke he made and he was like "well Cormac finds it funny’. Who cares, I didn’t!"
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Hermione frowned, watching as Ginny rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Maybe try and go at it from a different angle?" She suggested. "And let him know why you don’t find the joke funny instead of telling him it’s not funny."
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"Maybe," Ginny sighed. "Anyway, that doesn’t change the fact that you haven’t told me who you’re maybe sleeping with. So...who you willing to have your first time with?"
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Hermione flushed, turning away. "I told you, it doesn’t matter. I’m probably reading too much into the situation."
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"It’s just that I find it interesting that you’ve come to me for advice, when there’s someone else who’s also experienced who knows these things," Ginny said, a sly tone to her voice. "And you’ve chosen the one night she’s busy when it’s clearly being bothering you for a while."
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"What do you mean?"
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"I mean the magazines, the books. I saw "Her Final Siren Song’, even the back of that book had me blushing!" Ginny said, nudging against Hermione’s shoulders. "So...is there something you want to tell me?"
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"Fine, fine, yes. I have a crush...oh Bella. We kissed the other day––"
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"You kissed!?" Ginny said. "I thought you were just making love eyes all over her. I didn’t realise you were actually together. What happened to Daphne?"
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Hermione shrugged. "She broke things off, apparently."
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"Huh. Well, good for you. Bella is the first person who actually seems to be on the same level as you. You’re both wicked smart and totally smoking hot. People are going to blow-up when they find out."
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Hermione felt a cold rush over her. She hadn’t thought about other people finding out. But, it would come out and it was obvious to everyone and everyone included the teachers and then Dumbledore would probably find out since he knows every body and then what would he think?
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Probably that Hermione was meant to be helping Bellatrix, not helping her get out of her robes. He’d probably remind her that ethically speaking, it would be in her best interest to keep at an arms length apart and continue to be friends.
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After all, Bellatrix was....much older than people realised and sure the bell jar may have seemed to provide her youth to a skin-deep level, it still was objectively wrong and––
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"Woah, what did I say?" Ginny asked as she grabbed Hermione’s shoulders. "You look like you’ve been told you failed your OWLs."
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"Bella and I shouldn’t date," Hermione said. "It’s not right. She’s on exchange here and I’m meant to be her friend and..."
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"Hey, you can’t help who you fancy. Take a breath."
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Hermione shook her head. "No, no. It’s not fair. I...I think that I should just focus on my classes and see where things go, and if Bella is...is still interested after school, then maybe..."
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Ginny gave her a funny look. "You’re going to wait a year and a half? But she could have moved on by then. She could––"
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Hermione pulled away, hugging herself. "Look, don’t worry about it. I just need to think about everything. Okay?"
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"Okay," Ginny agreed. "Well...I’m here to talk if you want to."
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Hermione didn’t. Instead, she made an excuse to return to the Gryffindor tower where she buried herself in homework, so that when Bellatrix came up the stairs, early from detention, Hermione had an excuse as to why she was heading to bed early.
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Hermione barely had time to have a moment to herself. Between school, duelling club and apparition lessons, she had a full schedule. Now, at least, she’d been able to apparate as well as Bellatrix could and looking forward to getting her license––though she tried to keep her excitement minimal around Harry, who didn’t meet the age requirement until June.
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Ron, who could meet the age requirements, unfortunately still hadn’t managed to apparate and given how pig-headed he was being around her, Hermione was not interested in providing any of the teachings that Bellatrix had provided to her.
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Bellatrix and Ron continued to be cold to one another, though now that Ron was able to play Quidditch again, they were polite enough when it came to that singular topic.
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Hermione had returned to trying to squashed her feelings towards Bellatrix, again, whilst also try to work up the courage to explain why she felt it was a bad idea to date––however Bellatrix’s own schedule was busy with Quidditch practice and detention, on top of classes and duelling, and now that Ron had decided he didn’t like Lavender that much, he was now tagging along with Harry to get his homework up to speed, since he’d left everything last minute.
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"Is your quill meant to be spelling your name like that?" Harry asked out-loud in the common room one evening.
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Hermione looked over at Ron’s work and frowned at the name Roonil Wazlib written beneath the "dugbogs" essay title that should have read Dementors.
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"Did you get that quill from your brothers?" Hermione asked.
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"Yeah, it’s their bespelled-spelling-checker quill," Ron answered. "Do I need to re-write the entire essay from scratch?"
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Hermione sighed, moving to sit beside Ron. It might be easier, though Hermione suspected that she would be able to fix it with some tweaking. "Here, let me," she said before taking out her wand.
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"I love you, Hermione," Ron sighed. From across the table, Bellatrix rose, muttering that she needed to practice some wandwork and would be in an old classroom. Hermione frowned at the sudden departure but as Ron nudged her, she decided to ignore it. If Bellatrix wanted to be alone, she could be alone.
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It didn’t take long for Hermione to fix misspellings. Ron thanked her profusely before requesting to borrow her quill for the conclusion.
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Looking up, Hermione realised that they were the only ones left in the common room and Bellatrix hadn’t returned from doing her wand work. It was after hours and if she was caught, she’d like get detention. Again.
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"Finish your conclusion, I’ll be back," Hermione said, before she gave Ron a tight look, "and don’t copy my conclusion. Snape will see right through it."
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Ron huffed, waving his hand as he continued to scratch out his final sentences. Leaving the common room, Hermione went looking to see if she could find Bella.
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It didn’t take long. She was sitting in an old classroom...the same one they had charmed birds. Bellatrix was sitting on top of the professor’s desk, her legs hanging off the side as she charmed flowers to grow and die.
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"They’re pretty," Hermione said.
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Bellatrix turned to look at her. "Dahlias," she said. "I was trying to make other flowers but apparently all I can do is...dahlias."
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Hermione smiled, taking out her wand. "What was it that you said about the birds? It’s about your movements?" Hermione waved her wand, copying the spell, and instead of dahlias, sunflowers appeared. "Here," she said, handing them to Bellatrix.
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Bellatrix offered a tight smile at them, before setting them aside.
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Hermione frowned, coming to step before her. "Is something the matter?" She asked.
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"Did you finish your essay?"
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"I did," Hermione frowned. "Why did you change the subject?"
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Bellatrix was quiet, her expression still and dark as she stared at a spot behind Bellatrix.
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"I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but––"
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"I don’t want to talk about it," Bellatrix said.
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Hermione swallowed, feeling the sting of the woman’s tone hit her. Bellatrix was upset, but whatever it was for, she wanted to keep that part to herself. "Alright," Hermione said. "Well, I’m here if you want to talk. But we can just sit here for a while, if you prefer."
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"Isn’t it past curfew?"
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"It is, but if you’re not ready to go back, we can stay here." Hermione shifted to sit on the desk, beside Bellatrix. The room was quiet for a moment, and then slowly she felt Bellatrix ease, her body relaxing to lean against her just a little.
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They didn’t speak another word, just sitting there in silence. And then, when it was late and an hour must have passed with them sitting like that, Bellatrix turned to face her.
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It was dark in the classroom, the only light in the room was pouring from the night sky outside. It was dim with the waxing moon and with it, Hermione could see the very edges of Bella’s face: her jawline, her eyes and nose and lips. And as Bella leaned in, Hermione leaned forward, too kissing her.
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There was the very real possibility that she was making a terrible mistake, but Hermione set aside her logic for once and kissed Bellatrix in the moonlight.
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It was slow and soft and it was as though the two of them were in a timeturner bubble, the world pausing for a moment to just allow them that quiet moment.
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And then a squeak outside reminded them of where they were. Pulling aside, Bellatrix and Hermione both looked to the door, watching a shadow pass underneath the doorway.
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It was likely a teacher outside, checking there were no students out passed curfew and Hermione felt her stomach flip at the thought of being caught. But as Bellatrix’s fingers brushed against her own, she felt herself ease.
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