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Is this imposter syndrome? : I got diagnosed with ADHD back in March and everything added up and made sense, I’d been researching ADHD constantly for months leading up to my psychiatrist appointment.
I’ve only just started taking Elvanse 20mg and I’m confused if I’m reacting to it like a neurotypical person would or if it’s working how it should for someone with ADHD.
I don’t really have the energy to do stuff still, I’ve mainly been spending time on my phone watching videos which is what I would normally do when I wasn’t on the medication. I definetely feel more focused and like I don’t have bouncing thoughts popping into my head all the time, but sometimes I do get bouncing thoughts still. And I seem to get bursts of energy where I want to go and exercise but also I feel couchlocked at the same time.
I can’t seem to let go of the worry that I’ve been misdiagnosed, and I’m scared that I’m taking medication that’s not meant for me.
I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this anxiety about their diagnosis? | 0adhd
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Flag used at Lincoln's Funeral : Below is the flag used at Abraham Lincoln's funeral, which is held in the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History.
This American flag is one of only two flags that flew from the locomotive of the Lincoln funeral train on the route between Albany and Utica, New York. On April 19, 1865, an estimated 25 million Americans attended memorial services for Abraham Lincoln in Washington and around the country. Lincoln’s body lay in state in the U.S. Capitol Rotunda and then traveled to Springfield on a funeral train that retraced his route to Washington in 1861.
[https://www.si.edu/object/flag-abraham-lincolns-funeral-train:nmah\_496935](https://www.si.edu/object/flag-abraham-lincolns-funeral-train:nmah_496935) | 5none
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help : around 2 years ago my best friends cousin ( a guy ) stayed the night with us because he was "gay" (later found out he faked being gay & trans just to sleep over with girls) and had no interest in girls therefore the parents let him stay over and like, everything was normal till we all went to bed on the floor i was in the middle of them and i was almost asleep when i felt a hand creep near my boobs very slowly, i froze, i was so fucking scared, im assuming he thought i was asleep but i could feel it all, his hand there and it twitching, it was fucking disgusting, eventually i shot up and said I needed a drink but when i was walking down the stairs he followed me around like a creep, i wanted to die, i was so scared i was around 13 at the time and like of course i was upset for the next few days, but i just pushed down that feeling and let it settle deep inside me for 2 years, jumping back to now, im 15 and have a boyfriend, and i cant have him even hug me without me shaking, crying and reliving that moment, this feeling has only started occurring this year due to the memory randomly being present all of a sudden, i cant have ANY guy touch me without me thinking of that guy, its terrible. i havent told anyone except my best friend. i dont know if this would be ptsd or what, i dont want to say i have ptsd because i dont want to self diagnose but this is really effecting me and my mental state and relationships. | 7ptsd
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FEARLESS FRIDAYS : MEGA THREAD. Here we discuss embarrassing stories, funny stories, WTF stories, and
everything in between. Need to get something off your chest? Here's the place to do it.
Not yet diagnosed and want to ask a question? Feel free to do it here. Pretty much
anything goes in Fearless Fridays | 2bipolar
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Strange hypersexuality symptom ? : NSFW but when I'm hypo/manic and especially energized, like that rocket fuel burning in my chest feeling, for hours at a time it feels like I'm being, uh, stimulated? completely unrelated to thoughts or any external or internally generated stimulation. especially if I'm trying to sit still for a while. It can be awkward if I'm around other people and suddenly my heart rate will spike for no reason and it gets more intense. I feel like I'm lucky I don't have a penis because I'd be hard all the time.
Anyone else? If so, any tips on how to manage, it does get awkward :/ | 2bipolar
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You don't wanna mess with me :
A guy walks into a fancy club and right past the bouncer.
When the bouncer tries to stop him, the guy says "let me through, I'm fucking rich."
The bouncer, eager for a tip, lets him through. The guy proceeds right to the VIP section, past the ropes, and sits down at the best table.
The bouncer tries to stop him again, but the guy says "I can sit wherever I want, I'm fucking rich." Again, the bouncer decides to let the guy sit down, still hoping for a big tip.
The guy then walks behind the bar, grabs the most expensive top-shelf bottle, and takes it back to his table. The bouncer, realizing that the owner will fire him for letting a guest grab such an expensive bottle, stops the guy a third time and says "I don't care how wealthy you are, you can't have that bottle."
All the sudden a huge man, dwarfing the bouncer, taps him on the shoulder and tells the bouncer to let the guy keep the bottle.
Indignant at the bold statement, the bouncer replies "and who the hell are you?"
"Rich." | 5none
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I’m tired of being tired : I keep sitting around on my ass. I tell myself to have a shower, or do anything to prep for the next day, but there is a disconnect in the process where a command becomes an action so I keep sitting. Hours pass. It’s night. My phone isn’t charged because I can’t be bothered getting to the charger 3 meters away. Somewhere in my head I am aware of the time passing, and I drum against the edge of my conscience, but the fog turns the drums to a small muffle. I walk for 1 hour to work, spend 9 hours 5 days a week scrubbing shit off toilets and dealing with bloody sheets for minimum wage then I walk for 1 hour back home. My wrist is starting to hurt. Mum tells me to run it off. That’s how she can fix all of my pain. It feels like a ball is wedged under my upper shoulder blade. Spine problems. I can’t stop scratching my face. I have scars galore, which looks like permanent acne. I have ‘episodes’ over small things. I lost a key at work once and bashed my head so hard 3 times and kept mumbling idiot under my breath while red-faced and crying. Nothing a good run won’t fix? The only reason I don’t kill myself is because I saw the effects of it after my friend killed himself a month ago. Bedtime, I brush my teeth and it’s sleep, at least I try to, but my tired body lies awake, so I post on reddit but will most likely delete in the morning. | 4depression
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My kind of people : I just want to say how amazing this group is. I was diagnosed almost two weeks ago and joined this subreddit on Friday. I have been reading everyone posts all weekend and OMG! I thought I was so alone in the way i felt and in the way i was and it makes me extremely happy to know i am not the only one struggling. Not happy that there are people struggling but just to know i am not alone is refreshing. I go on thursday for med talk and after reading through these posts i am so ready for it. When i first got my diagnosis i wad upset. I already suffer from other mental health issues and this just seemed like another hurdle i had to get over but after seeing so many success stories i feel alot better. So just thank you for sharing your stories it has helped me and i am sure others so much! | 0adhd
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Thought I was improving but it all changed today. (what is your comeback story?) : Hey everyone, long time lurker on this forum, first time poster. Just to give bit of background on me, I went to see a doctor 4 weeks ago over anxiety and have been on lexapro since and inderal as a beta blocker.
So a few days I started my exams. I knew I was going to be anxious as I can feel incredibly anxious by the fact that I'm in an exam hall with 1000 people in it and its against exam rules to leave within the first hour. As a result my anxiety is incredibly strong as I have a feeling of being trapped and I fear passing out in front of all these people. On my first exam I was sitting at the front of the venue (I hate sitting at the front because everyone is behind me, stupid I know). I was having extremely bad anxiety attacks continuously for the first hour, the worst feeling in the world but once the hour passed I suddenly felt calm. Leaving the exam I felt exhausted, like I had gone through a fight or ran a marathon, I could barely walk but felt proud that I managed to bear it. The following day I had another exam. I had the pre exam jitters but to my surprise the feeling of calmness kicked in as soon as the exam started. I felt amazing afterwards, it was the first time I didn't have to deal with any panic attacks in a stressful situation in a very long time.
Today however that all changed. I went to the exam expecting to get through it without flaw but it was a constant panic attack. I knew the answers to the exam inside out but I couldn't lift the pen to start writing. Half an hour in and I asked if I could go to the toilet. I stayed there for 15 minutes, the exam supervisor was super kind and told me to take my time. I eventually bit the bullet and went back in to the exam and continued my hour long anxiety attacks. Leaving the hall I felt beat up. I feel like I've let myself down and am so frustrated that I was seeing an improvement only to be knocked down again. I have more exams coming up and don't know what to do to get a grip. Sorry for the long post but I felt that I need to tell the whole story so everyone can understand. My question is what can I do to calm down and do you guys have any stories similar and how you deal with it. Love you all. | 1anxiety
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Targeted Advertisements knowing about my trauma (trigger warning: childhood sexual abuse) : I googled a few things a long the lines of "therapists who specialize in child sexual abuse trauma" and now my Facebook is cluttered with advertisements that say things like "Are you a survivor of childhood sexual abuse? Our lawyers can help!"
How messed up is that? I feel like I've been exploited. Not to mention that when I look up those things, I do it when I can feel safe and be able cope with any of the emotions that they bring up but these ads just pop up whenever which is not good for my mental health. | 7ptsd
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DAE question whether everything is actually their fault or if the person without bpd is using your bpd as an excuse to make it seem like everything’s your fault? : Idk if this makes sense at all. But you know, the arguments, everything... even the person w/out bpd’s behaviour.... everything seems to get blamed on the pwBPD
There’s usually a lot of evidence to point to things not just being my fault but I’m being made to feel like it always is.
I’m always the one apologising. I get attacked and accused of not taking responsibility and apologising when I feel like some things just aren’t my fault. But if the pwoBPD does or says something wrong they don’t take responsibility or apologise unless really pushed for it.
And I just don’t know what to believe. The logical thing is to believe the pwoBPD... but I feel like everything is automatically pinned on the pwBPD. Too much.
I can’t even trust what I think or feel anymore. I can’t trust my judgements because I get accused of being a bad manipulative abusive person if I refuse to apologise for something I don’t think I need to apologise for. It’s killing me? I used to be bad and be all of those things more than I’d have liked, but I’ve changed. I’ve taken the steps to get help, and At one point I made so much progress and so much change that I felt my subconscious changing without me even doing anything. I did this all pretty much alone with limited resources. I had temp therapy and my therapist assured me it was not just me. But I still have a hard time believing it... this relationship / person has scrambled my head. It’s in pieces.
I don’t know if this even makes any sense whatsoever, I just want to know if anyone else feels or has felt the same? Or had similar experiences where they feel like a pwoBPD freely makes everything out to be the pwBPD’s fault. Either to manipulate, abuse, silence, or to just make them feel bad bc of their mental health. | 3bpd
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So, my coworker unexpectedly and very suddenly passed away last night : He was like my age, early 20's. I saw him every day and this does not feel real, and I've been disassociating since I found out which was like an hour ago.
Death/afterlife is my trigger. So I think I'm the only person at work who reacted as strongly as I did. My dad came and brought me xanax and even cut it in half for me so I won't fall asleep at my desk.
I didnt have a full on anxiety attack though, which is good I guess but I'm worried it will happen later on when I least expect it. Thats what happened when I had the worst attack of my life; my dog died and I cried a lot but then about a month later I had the attack. It was awful, my worst memory. And at that time I didnt think about it but I'm 100% certain it was because of his death.
I don't know what to do. All my coworkers are now coming up to me either saying "man that sucks" or something along those lines and some of them who saw my reaction are now asking if I'm okay. I don't want to talk about it but I think I have to.
The xanax is working. I'm calm. But I think I'm getting sleepy.
I dont know what I was really writing. I think I just wanted to share it with someone, have it written down somewhere. I dont think I'm being coherent really but I can't tell
| 1anxiety
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Does anyone wanna do things alone but not really wanna be alone? : I have this weird thing where I don’t like to suggest activities to do with my boyfriend because I think he may be more interested in doing something else. Or I don’t play my playlist in a car ride because I’m afraid of what the passenger thinks of my songs.
I usually am the follower, and just go where everyone else in my group of friends go because I don’t want to be shut down in an idea I want to suggest.
I always take time to do the things I like to do on my own because it’s free of judgment from other people, like listening to the songs I like, and doing activities I like to do...but lately I feel like it’d be nice to enjoy these things with someone else too. | 1anxiety
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F you bpd : Fuck you bpd....I'm done. I'm done self destructing. I done pushing people who I care about away. I'm done thinking I'm never good enough. I'm done feeling completely out of control. I'm done with you. I can no longer pretend like my disorder is in check. Because it isnt...
Tomorrow I'm going to call a therapist and finally get the courage to get rid of you.
I needed to vent...thank you. | 3bpd
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I want to fucking stop breathing : Nothing gives me happiness. All my life spent suffering. I don't want to wait for "the better times" When are they coming? When I'm 99 years old? I spent my entire fucking life either being abused or feeling empty, having hallucinations and being lonely, so what's the fucking point? What's the point of staying alive when I only suffer from it? To suffer some more? To spend another 30+ years thinking about how much I fucking hate myself? Living in "hell" would be better than this. The good moemtns are never coming for me.
I only wish I had a handgun so I could first kill my piece of shit father and semi-painlessly end myself right after, leaving those fuckers a fun game called "scraping my brains off the wall", which I'm sure they would enjoy.
Fuck everything. | 4depression
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Everyone hates me? : Do you ever have days where everything you do is a mistake and you feel like everyone hates you and you dont really blame them for it but you dont know how to change it?
Ive been incredibly hyper active now that I have my depression under control, but Im finding I cant shut up and I make stupid mistakes because Im trying to do my best but for get little things.
I feel like im being incredibly snarky and sarcastic but I dont know how to stop... I kind of liked how quiet I was when I was depressed, I was humble. I feel like an asshole now and while Im sure its not true that everyone hates me Im pretty sure Im becoming really annoying to a lot of people.
Any advice?
Tldr: im acting like a dick and I need advice on how to calm myself down. | 0adhd
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A politician vists a town in one of his electoral districs. : It is a small, remote town deep in the mountains.
When he arrives he is greeted by the towns people, the mayor, and a camera crew. He waves and shakes his supporters hands while smiling for the camera.
Finally he walks up to the mayor of the small town and asks:
"So mayor, what problems does your town have?
The mayor replies:
"We have two problems"
The politician asks:
"What is your first problem?"
The mayor replies:
"Sir, our town has no doctor."
The politician pulls out his phone and makes a call.
"Hello... I need a favour... yes, yes... you will? Alright thanks!"
The politician turns to the mayor and says:
"Your first problem is no more! What is your town's second problem?"
The mayor replies:
"Sir, we have no cell service." | 5none
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I got diagnosed yesterday : After over 40 years of anger, anxiety and fear, I finally saw a mental health professional yesterday and based on her preliminary diagnosis, she said I have tell-tale signs of PTSD and trauma.
I am not going to spill my guts here and relate all the bad experiences I had as a child, but I feel some peace knowing what was causing my mental anguish for so long.
It's never too late to seek help. | 7ptsd
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What was the most uneven battle won by the minority through clever tactics? : Basically I love reading about battles where an army is completely outnumbered but succeeded thanks to clever war tactics, major field advantages and even just pure luck.
I don't want to waste anybody's time so if you could please at least give the name of the battle or a link. I would very much appreciate a full answer with your opinions though. | 5none
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I have work related anxiety. I need to rant. : So I work for this company, and they outsource for Optimum. I work from home. At first, during the interview, I was told I'd be working 3-12. Then, during training, I was told that they do the schedules a month in advance, and that we would NOT be working 3-12, we may need to work 9-5, depending on "the needs of the client". Then, we were told that they do not do the schedules a month in advance, there's no way to determine what the needs would be. They said they do the schedules a week in advance, "depending on the needs of the client"
I asked if it was possible we would be working 3-12 one week and then 9-5 the next. I was told they weren't offering morning schedules so it wasn't likely.
Today I'm scheduled 10am-6pm. That would be a morning schedule.
The first computer they sent me to work from home with had a failing network card, so I had to send it back to them in exchange for another computer. They want 100% usage of their tools on calls, but the tools crash almost every other call. Their tools crash so much we actually had to go over how to close them in task manager and re-open them. When I asked how long it's been that the tools were unstable, my trainer was actually so stupid to say "as far as I know they aren't unstable" while we're literally going over how to re open them when they crash.
I actually had to explain to her that if the tools crash a lot, that means they're unstable. Another new rep said the tools crashing on most of the calls made it really difficult to have 100% usage. "Well it could be a number of things, it could be user error, it could be having so many windows open causing the programs to freeze"
We're these tools tested AT ALL? Apparently not. I couldn't believe that was the response we got. The tools are clearly unstable.
Thursday I had a customer on hold for 45 minutes waiting for assistance that we were promised to get during our first two weeks. I watched as the people who were supposed to be helping me have a conversation in chat, laughing it up. I eventually begin to get a response, and it's very clear they aren't listening to what I'm saying. I had this customer on hold for almost an hour, to be told that a supervisor was already looking into the issue, there was nothing that we could do, and if I had looked into the house history earlier I would have seen the note from the supervisor.
I've worked in this environment before, looking in a customer's history is the first thing I do. There WERE NO NOTES FROM ANY SUPERVISOR.
Yesterday, I had three teeth removed. I had to miss a day. I'm being told now that if I miss anymore time, that I cannot continue with the company.
This company is beyond incompetent. I think I'm going to go drive a cab and listen to music all day while driving around upstate ny, making little to nothing. Fuck it.
TL;DR Company lies about the hours I'd be working, sends out equipment to use that is broken out of the box, wants us to use tools on every call but the tools crash on every call, promise to help us during our first two weeks of taking calls but decide to laugh it up instead, and now after having surgery I'm told to not miss anymore time. Would rather drive a cab. | 1anxiety
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Just got diagnosed?: Ignore volunteer bias in this sub : You’re going to get volunteer bias in these replies of bad experiences with meds. They deterred me from getting meds for months, but a tiny 50mg of Seroquel improved my life so much. For example, I no longer crave alcohol and have a stable sleep schedule. Sometimes I think those people may have other issues, like a personality disorder (like BPD, for which DBT is the gold standard treatment rather than meds) or they have something else on top (comorbid).
I’m aware I could be volunteer bias too, but I assume there’s more non-Reddit people whose doctors gave them meds and they just went on and got better in silence (like me). My doctor alluded to these people. | 2bipolar
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Did the Ancient Greeks (pre-Homeric) ever make contact with the British Isles or Scandinavia? : Rereading Mythology (Hamilton, 1942), it says the ancient Greeks had knowledge of the Cimerians who inhabited a land “cloud-wrapped and misty, where the sun never looked with his splendor…” and the description reminded me of the often-dreary British Isles. They also knew of the Hyperboreans (literally the very far northerners) and described their activity thus: “maidens swayed and the clear call of the lyre sounded…With golden laurel they bound their hair and feasted merrily. In that holy race, sickness and deathly old age had no part.” This sounds like a description of the common pagan rituals of the Norse. | 5none
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Does anyone else suffer from mental contamination? : I’m talking about thinking things are contaminated or “tainted” without actually having physical contact with them. For example, thinking you have to stop using a email account because you think you don’t like the name of the email, or because you received an inappropiate message in your inbox.
I personally keep thinking my gaming accounts are contaminated for numerous reasons (my brain is always finding a new way to give me anxiety). This is a really obnoxious form of OCD, I just wanted to see how common it is | 6ocd
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What Fills the Emptiness For You? : I’ve tried yoga, singing lessons, Spanish lessons, dance lessons, art classes, guitar lessons, Vipassana meditation, a poetry class, joining a community, theatre, going to the gym regularly, waitressing jobs, admin jobs, dating, having great roommates, healthy eating, prayer, 11 years of therapy… still I’m empty. None of the hobbies stuck. None of the jobs helped. Is this just the way it’s going to be? Forever? Life just doesn’t hold fulfillment and joy for me? Why live it? | 3bpd
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High Medieval - Great Clearances, looking for some backstory, sources : I'm from the US and when visiting Europe and was struck by how cultivated and domesticated the entire landscape of Europe is. I ran across this article in wikipedia about the [period of time where the process largely happened](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medieval_demography#High_Middle_Ages). The references there see kind of weak and I would like to find something more about that period. For instance, was is centrally planned at all, did the Catholic Church have much to do with it? where there expert, craftsmen who travelled and taught people how to do it, like how to create drainage that doesn't accelerate errosion are important. was there recent breakthroughs in materials like iron-steel to make saws, shovels, chains, axes, pick-axes, wheel barrows, carts with decent wheel bearings that could handle loads etc? were there skills developed in survey, mathematics, geometry, mapping, deeds and ownership boundries during this period? or is just not much known from that period? | 5none
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does anyone else feel like coffee makes u manic : bruh i keep thinking about it like what if im not manic i just drank coffee... but at the same tome i havent eaten or slept well in sooooo long . i feel like my mind is super fast so i drink coffee to like speed up my body to match my brain | 2bipolar
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how do i tell the difference between a hyperfixation and a legit interest? : (i’m not diagnosed but i’m pretty sure i have add, i’m so sorry if it’s wrong of me to post on here if i’m not diagnosed but i didn’t know where else to turn.) i hyperfixate on things frequently, it’s often tv shows or a specific actor, but very recently i started getting interested in playing electric guitar. i sit in my room all day everyday and i feel like i could do something with that time instead of wasting it. i already know some songs i want to learn and i just feel like learning how to play electric guitar would be really cool. the problem is i can’t tell the difference between hyperfixations and legit interests anymore and it makes me sad because i want to have a hobby but i never have the courage to start with anything because i’m not sure if i’ll lose interest after a week and it would be a waste of time and money. i don’t have a single interest or hobby so i don’t know what an actual interest feels like, but i’m also afraid of the possibility that the electric guitar thing would be a hyperfixation and nothing more because right now i’m really interested. if anyone could give me advice on how to tell the difference or what i should do in general i would be very grateful. again, i’m sorry if i would have to be diagnosed to post here. | 0adhd
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Does anyone else feel their heartbeat randomly? : It freaks me out. I'll just be sitting/standing/lying quietly and then I can feel my heart beat very strongly. It's not palpitations. It's steady. Very distracting and triggers the anxiety. | 1anxiety
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A Turk, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are traveling on a train. : The compartment gets warm, so the Frenchman opens the window and a fly buzzes in. Wanting to show off, the Frenchman swiftly draws his sword and with one strike, the fly is split in half. As the others look on in amazement, the Frenchman hands out his business card, which reads: "France's Best Swordsman."
Seeing this, the Englishman opens the window and lets another fly in. He quickly pulls out an arrow, shoots, and the fly sticks to the wall, dead. He then gives out his business card, which proclaims him as "England's Best Archer."
Not wanting to be outdone, the Turk opens the window and lets in another fly. He takes out a small knife and throws it at the fly. The fly falls, but after a few seconds, it gets up and flies away. The Englishman and Frenchman burst into laughter. Unfazed, the Turk hands them his business card. It reads: "Remzi, Professional Circumciser." | 5none
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I cut off my fp : I told my fp I had feelings for them today. I explained it would be better for us to break contact for both our sanities' sake. I realized I was repeating old patterns with him and I can't do that. I'm heartbroken but I know it's for the best. I'm devastated because it's another failure in my love life (I'm 28 and I've never been in a relationship), but I choose me this time. There's a part of me that wishes he comes running to me, trying to stop me from leaving, but I know it's not going to happen. I'm going to block him now and try to forget him and the way he made me feel when he told me I was beautiful, smart, amazing, kind, funny, hot, etc.
How do I stay strong? What can I do to stop myself from going mad and ruining all of the progress that I made? How do I stop myself from reaching out to him? | 3bpd
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Do you guys ever have the feeling that you just need to be loved? : I've been dealing with panic disorder for years. Do you guys ever just feel like you need to be loved and cared about by someone? Whenever I feel that way I feel safe and secure, but little things between me and my SO make me overthink shit and they seem to be driven away. Or maybe it's just me thinking too much. But I really just want to know if you all think the same way. I get worried that I'm too much for them and I just want to feel okay again you know? What's the best advice you can give me to make myself bring myself together and stop having anxiety attacks over little things.
I'm on medicine, but you know how it is, I'm still at a constant level of anxiety, it's just not as intense. | 1anxiety
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My friend with BPD is ONE YEAR FREE from cutting! Help me celebrate her success! : My [26f] dear friend [30f] and I both have BPD. She’s struggling right now, but even in the middle of all these bad days **she is ONE WHOLE YEAR free from cutting!**
She follows this community, though she mostly only reads instead of posting. Please help me celebrate her victory. We all know how hard it is to keep ourselves safe. Mostly I’m really hoping that some positive words will give her a little perspective, especially when delivered from others who know what it’s really like.
**Thanks so much y’all** | 3bpd
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Please. Just someone tell me it’s going to be ok. : I haven’t felt right all day, or week, or month. Please God or someone or something I need a sign. Is it ever going to stop??? Please God I’m in so much pain I want it to end so badly
EDIT: thank you guys for all of your kindness and concern. After a long talk with my siblings I had gotten so much better, so you guys were completely right and I’m so thankful for that. I’m so thankful that there’s people on here who get it. I may not know who you are or what you do, but what I do know is that this pain is something we have in common and it helps a lot knowing that. Thank you guys... SERIOUSLY. And no I don’t take meds but I do go to therapy. Last night was the worst it’s gotten in a while and I knew I had to let it out to my brother and sister, which is something I’ve only been half ass doing in therapy so I know I need to get better about letting my feelings out | 1anxiety
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"reach out if you want to talk" lol : re-posted some funny seasonal depression memes on twitter. honestly, not even that bad. pretty funny.
a friend I have known for years, who I figured must have known about my issues with depression (and I believe is also depressed - also aren't we all on some level?), messaged me saying:
"I just want to let you know that your back to back posts about being sad are worrying me and because as someone who cares and I DO it's just hard to see you do that on social media"
lmao what even is this text? that doesn't make me want to talk about it at all because it clearly makes you uncomfortable that I'm expressing it on the internet? do you really want me to go in depth about how every day I wake up and am disappointed that I'm still here? About how life feels grey and entirely meaningless? how people say they care about me but I don't feel it at all? about how I know I shouldn't feel this way but I still do? about how my brain is my worst enemy?
Is that what you want to hear? I have my therapist for that. I know if I tell you those things you'd treat me differently and think I'm crazy. What are you going to do about it - tell me I'm great and you're here for me? that doesn't fix my broken brain. plus, I know you think antidepressants are for crazy people so why would I tell you I'm on them.
I made up some excuse about how it's the season and my hormones that's got me down lol
and she hasn't been that nice of a friend to me lately either...really snappy and rude and hasn't texted me in a week or so even after that text.
who cares now? | 4depression
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Diminished libido due to meds? : Anyone else having issues with libido due to medications or depression? My meds have just made me really uninterested - almost averse - to sex, which isn't fair to my husband. At this point, I pretty much just have horrible anxiety around the issue.
How do you all deal with meds affecting your sex drive? I would really appreciate some input. | 2bipolar
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Why can’t I book the one night vacation? I want to take, considering I wanted to do this for a literally almost 3 years? : UPDATE;
I booked the trip!!!! Thank you all for your help in pushing me mentally to do what I’ve wanted for so long! I leave in early January! I’ll let you know how it goes!
For the past three years, I’m not joking, I have wanted to take a train to a nearby city, have a fun day in the city, and then travel back that night or the next morning. I finally have more than enough money to do this and I have a few days off work in January where I absolutely could plan this. I get to the point of making the train reservations and then when it’s time to pay for the ticket I get out of the app and don’t book it.
Why does my brain not want me to do some thing that I wanted to do for years? I have wasted money on millions of things in the past when I didn’t have money, and now that I have a steady job and I have a steady income and more than enough money to do this plus pay all my bills and everything else. My brain won’t let me do it. It’s very frustrating and upsetting.
I guarantee if I don’t do this, those days I have off I will just lay in my bed, watching YouTube and reading things on Reddit. What is wrong with me? And yes, I’m medicated and my medicine works with almost everything else ADHD related to the point that it’s going to help. | 0adhd
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My BF has ADHD and I don’t know how what to do anymore : My beautiful bf (M23) and I (F22) have been together for four years. He has severe depression and sleep apnea and was recently diagnosed with ADHD which explains so much. He is so kind and thoughtful and smart and loving but some of his symptoms are really difficult to manage.
In our entire relationship he’s been employed for about three months, and he’s failed out of college three times and he’s giving it another go now. He sleeps well into the day really often and stays up all night, often missing plans and being too tired to do anything but stay home and watch TV. He’s addicted to video games and has gained so much weight that I’m worried for his health. He also has a really fluctuating sex drive which is very confusing.
He won’t take his meds and won’t get a CPAP machine. He also won’t stay in touch with his psychiatrist or psychologist enough for them to be properly effective.
I love him to death but it’s just getting to be so hard. I know it’s not my job to fix him, but I’ve taken on so much responsibility that I feel like his mother (reminding him about all his appts, cooking, cleaning, laundry, school work).
I’m also in Med school and I work so I don’t have as much time on my hands to be there for him as I’d like. What are some things your partners have done to make you feel supported and to help you help yourself? Is this a lost cause? Are there things that your partners have done which have made things worse even if they’ve been well intentioned?
Thanks in advance!
TDLR: my bf has lots of symptoms of ADHD but won’t seek adequate professional help. What, in your experiences, has helped you help yourself? | 0adhd
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“Reflectly” app has proven extremely helpful at tracking my BPD. : Reflectly is a journal app that prompts you to express your mood and reflect on why you are in that mood. It’s keeps track of your entry’s and after 6 days it creates a chart that allows you to see when there is a dip or spike in mood.
You can make as many entry’s per day as you would like, so you don’t need to sum up the entire day with one emotion. And the entry’s only take a minute or two.
I would highly suggest anybody that wants to know more about their personal BPD pattern to give this app a chance. It couldn’t get easier, it’s customizable, helpful, and even a little fun. | 3bpd
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tired : i'm tired of people saying "it's not a big deal."
i'm tired of people saying "just get over it."
i'm tired of people saying "you're too young to feel this way!"
i'm tired of people saying "but you seem so normal!"
i'm tired of my family saying "you don't need therapy."
i know it's not a big deal.
i can't just "get over it."
doesn't matter how old i am.
it's a disguise.
i will do what i feel is right for me.
i'm so tired.... | 1anxiety
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Manipulation : Okay so, not sure if this is me as a person or BPD related but does anyone else feel like they’re easily manipulated into doing things? Or people around you manipulate your emotions for their own gratification.
Like, you know you’re getting manipulated but you can’t stop yourself from getting manipulated?!? | 3bpd
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wanting and not wanting xxx : When I'm doing something mundane, like sorting through my receipts, I suddenly start wanting xxx. When my person is getting ready to leave early in the morning, suddenly I want xxx. When it's the middle of the day or at night with them, nothing. And it frustrates me! Because they're really attractive! But my body doesn't shift into wanting them physically.
Also, I've heard of people starting to want xxx the moment they get tired.
And I just got the thought that it might be because of my ADHD or it might be a nervous system thing in general (sympathetic nervous system / parasympathetic nervous system). Or a mix of these two. Because there's always something my focus is on, and if the focus is on a stressor, of course the brain will not want xxx.
Is that a thing? Does that sound like a thing to you? | 0adhd
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A man was demonstrating a new type of drone to the military. : He was the project tech and was showing them how you could give it coordinates and an image of the objective and off it would go. Multiple options existed for the target - identify, pick up and bring back small packages, or deliver packages to soldiers in the field.
For some reason his boss named the drone REARY.
They gave him multiple tests - North, East, South - and it behaved perfectly each time. Finally someone requested a western target but the drone just sat there. He explained that this was the prototype and one of the subsystems had malfunctioned but it would be repaired the next day.
A General said "You mean to tell me..." and the tech completed his sentence - "Yes, until this is repaired there is no West for the REARY."
I made this one up so apologies to all of you. | 5none
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I was in a closed room alone with two men today and it was okay. : I had a doctors appointment and my doctor is a man. The room very bare and I felt trapped so I opened the window screens. I waited for him to come in for 20 minutes, I was really anxious and sweaty but I calmed myself down. When he came in there was another grown man with him, a student. He asked if it was okay that he was there and I said of course. The first thing he did was close the window. I started feeling panicky again, I couldn’t look at either of them in the eye. I just stared at the students shoes and the closed window. I was sweaty and shaky and gross. The doctor was on my left and the student was on my right. The doctor grabbed my face to turn my head towards the light and I grabbed his forearm. He asked his questions and I answered them, and got prescribed the medication I needed.
Even though I was a nervous wreck, I kept it together. I didn’t ask them to keep the door open even though I thought about it, I didn’t get stuck on him closing the window, and I didn’t chicken out. I toughed it out, and I think that’s a win. | 7ptsd
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I’m suffering bad : Please help.
I’m struggling so bad with psychical symptoms. I don’t know what to do it’s so debilitating I’m catatonic waiting any second to die. I feel like blood is dropping down my head, chest is heavy, my left arm feels weird, my left fingers are numb, my mouth is tingly, electrical shocks everywhere. It gets worse every day I don’t know what my next step is to be to get better. Should I just take an antidepressant.
I was fine when I woke up and was in bed. Once I get my day started is when it starts happening. I can’t handle this. Read some of my other posts to get the gist of what’s happening to me.
Don’t remember my life any Christmas I had don’t know who I am. | 1anxiety
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I messed up really bad... warning: gross, triggers, etc. : Trigger warnings: molestation, urine, gross... throwaway because gross.
Background: I was molested in the bathroom when I was really young. Recently diagnosed with PTSD and had a really deep depression and paranoia episode recently.
Story: so a little while ago... I started this bad habit of urinating in a cup and dumping it in the toilet. I’ve probably been doing that for a little while and only very rarely when my flatmate would be using the only bathroom I have access to for a very long distance. What do normal people do in this situation? I literally have no idea. I’m sure it happens to other people, at least once?
When I had a really bad paranoid episode, I had a hard time leaving my room when my flatmate was around or using the restroom. I think it has to do with my trauma. I have never told anyone this, even my therapist. It kind of got out of hand, and I would just pee in larger bottles, cap it, and throw it away. The building I live in picks up trash outside the door, so I quadruple bag it in heavy duty trash bags and just leave it outside.
Well, one of the bottles leaked in the bag I was using. And then I threw other trash in it without knowing. And then it got kind of gross because there was a banana peel, which obviously turns disgusting almost immediately, and then there were fruit flies. I accidentally put mail with my name on it in the trash, not knowing it had leaked. It obviously didn’t take me long to notice. Uh, well... when I noticed it did, I panicked and immediately closed it and put the bag inside maybe 10 other trash bags and sealed it with a rubber band. But because there was liquid at the bottom, I didn’t know what to do... like maybe drain it first and then throw it away? But I hate bugs, so... I was scared. It was basically a nightmare and it made me more and more paranoid. I kept the bag in my room for a few days and just kept putting trash bags around it and sealing it off. There was no smell or bugs anymore, but I didn’t know what to do with this disgusting cocktail of trash, bugs, and urine. It took me a few days to attempt to throw it outside. I just cleaned and sanitized my room and put the bag near the trash in the hallway. I’m really paranoid that the trash guy might pierce it and it’ll leak and be disgusting.
What do I even do? Do I just leave it in the hallway? There is mail in there with my name on it, what if my building searches the trash to discover who is such a vile creature and they kick me out? There’s also a camera so even if I took the mail out, they could probably find it was me.
Is it even legal to throw away urine? Ahhhh... Can I just lie and say it was raw chicken juice if anything happens?
I am trying to be less disgusting. I don’t want to get kicked out of my building though, or fined, or become a criminal. I’ve read of other people having this issue when they were molested in the bathroom at a young age, so I know I’m not completely alone, but obviously that doesn’t really help. I would say aside from this issue that I am a pretty clean and hygienic person, if that matters at all.
Well, I don’t even know what responses I’m looking for. I find this situation to be simultaneously disgusting and pathetic and even a tiny bit funny. I obviously don’t want to be this type of person... ugh this is terrible. Honestly, I was a bit suicidal for a period of time, but I wouldn’t have done anything partially because I was afraid people would discover I was secretly disgusting while cleaning out my room.
You’re also allowed to laugh at me and call me gross because I agree. I won’t even be offended.
I have two hours to decide. I’m considering putting it back in my room if there is a chance I’ll be raided or something. I can get a safety suit, gloves, a mask, and try to drain some of it into the toilet. Maybe that’s a bit extreme, I don’t even know.
My flatmate leaves used bloody pads and tampons open in the bathroom trash without even wrapping them. So maybe trash men are used to disgusting things? But it’s usually not a heavy bag of liquid. I’m probably overthinking things... Ugh, kill meee... | 7ptsd
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I actually feel like mental illness is destroying my mind and body : Have been severely depressed for about three years. Have sought help on multiple occassions but nothing has really worked. Therapists weren't helpful and were completely against medication in all cases, mine included
I've watched this illness destroy my life. I had to drop out of college and move back in with my parents, which hasn't helped things at all. I have become less able and less willing to talk to other people. I keep more secrets from others and myself than ever before. I am miserable almost every minute of every day
So I've watched depression destroy my life, but now I think I can feel it beginning to destroy my mind. I can no longer concentrate or read for long periods of time. I used to be a pretty good writer, but I now have trouble formulating basic sentences. I don't respond to the sensory world as I used to. I can't think about complex ideas or think abstractly.
More than anything else, I feel firmly dissconected from the world around me. I'm not able to process ideas or feelings as I once was. My attention span has shrunk hugely. Sometimes I even have trouble concentrating on my own speech. My mind just feels very slow and very tired. The world feels very far away. I'm not sure what's going on, but over the past 10 months or so I feel like my mind has begun to fail. I don't know if I'm disassociating or what, but I'm afraid that I'm losing myself and that is a terrifying thought
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is what I'm feeling consistent with what others in my position feel or have felt?
Also, please don't tell me that I need help, I know that psychiatric help is the only way out in the long run, but right now I really just need someone to talk to
| 4depression
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My ADHD just helped me do something I've been struggling to do for over a month : So they took me off my meds which means that my motivation is low (heart issue) and all my adhd symptoms are going nuts. So I've been kind of a crappy grad student lately.
I had agreed to help the other grad student with this one experiment because I know this technique better than she does. So I'm supposed to leave this thing going over the weekend to allow sufficient binding since it's being used in an animal it's not meant for (immunohistochemistry if anyone is interested).
Since it was over the weekend, I forgot/was unmotivated to go finish up the thing. Well today I finally did it and I guess having left it all week made sure everything bound SUPER well and now the results are visible as clear as day!
Tl;dr : My ADHD induced lack of motivation and forgetfulness caused me to leave something going longer than it should've which turned out to be better for it and gave me the results needed! | 0adhd
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We're all going to make it : Just kidding.
Last week I totally spaced on my first appointment with a life coach. She won't talk to me now.
Today I was late to a time management class. | 0adhd
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Over the last month I have changed my life so much practicing DBT in my everyday life along with medication! : I started my new medication about 4 months ago the first two months we’re hell.
But slowly I began to rid my life of people who bring negativity into my life. I haven’t cut those people out 100% and blocked them and told them to F off which I super proud of.
When someone bad happens I remind myself it’s not a reflection of me i.e restaurant makes a mistake with my food, the chef may have just been off that day and it doesn’t mean I deserve bad things. Someone says something harsh to me I remind myself it’s a reflection of how they feel inside and it’s quite funny that they choose to act like this.
This has made a huge impact on me!
I haven’t self harmed in over a month which included starving, burning, cutting.
I have stopped restarting to suicide as an option and let myself know that I don’t deserve to die over something as small as dropping my phone. I continuously tell my self the things I want to experience in my life and when I get to a dark place I remind my self of how happy I will be when I reach my goals instead!
I have eaten 3 meals every day for the past month! I have gained weight and I no longer weigh myself but my frame is filled out and I no longer look underweight.
I’ve stopped smoking weed and ended all drug use alone while my friends still practice the use of them around me. I did use alcohol as a crutch and weened of alcohol unless it’s an occasion.
I have been able to stay single and away from any sexual partners for the longest period of time in my adult life!
I haven’t made and destructive impulsive decisions in a few months!
I have went on a walk for 5-10 km a day for the last month!
I have cleaned my depression mess in my home where I live alone! I never thought I’d do it but all my laundry is done, place hoovered everything is clean for the first time I months!
I have studied every day for the last month also!
I’m so happy with my progress I can’t wait to tell my psychiatrist about it!
I never thought I could do it!
But I’m so scared that I’m an just in a manic episode now! | 3bpd
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I am flipping the hell out : I am currently freaking out about all this methane gas and end of world stuff and cant control it. my next therapist appointment is so far away and i just need help. Can anyone calm me down? | 1anxiety
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I'll never be loved : I recently got diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder (about 3 months ago), and my psychiatrist is questioning if I have schizoaffective. I have always been weird, even as a child, and didn't have many friends. I've also always been chronically sick, and basically lived in a hospital for half my life. I don't think I've felt the feeling of being loved in years. I feel like I'm truly the only oddball out there, and that no one will ever get me. I seriously can't take the loneliness anymore. I am convinced that I will never have a partner, and already know I'll never be part of a friend group. I don't know what to do anymore. | 2bipolar
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Why did the Germans commit to the Schlieffen Plan despite the risks in WWI? : I was watching the first few videos by The Great War on YouTube, and they had mentioned that Britain had telegrammed Germany and said that if they were to attack France, they would declare war on Germany. Since they were aiming to defeat France in six weeks, they must've known that British aid would significantly affect the war. Did they think they were bluffing, or did they think they were just going to absolutely decimate both opponents? | 5none
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I NEED to get this off my chest. Just got out of a week of psychiatric crisis care. First night out: basement floods. Dog injures leg on stairs and I might have to put her to sleep this weekend. : I can't even.
This is my life.
*This* is my karma.
I am simultaneously the luckiest and unluckiest son of a bitch to ever exist. On one hand, **fuck**. On the other hand, I already would have put the literal gun in my mouth were it not for the last week of emergency psychiatric intervention.
Please just hug me. There's nobody else to do it. | 7ptsd
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How do I deal with my trauma response? : I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years today after a relationship-long pattern of ignoring or dismissing my needs and playing on my trauma because I "shouldn't let it define me" and I "need to harden the fuck up".
The final straw was a number of vile comments (and one in particular) that caused a severe flashback and physical response in me. I got myself out of the situation safely but I still can't stop shaking and replaying the words and the look of intent in her eyes as she said it.
I can't believe I trusted her with that vulnerability only to have it used against me so cruelly when I was already distressed.
How can I deal with my body and mind betraying me like this? I don't want my trauma to define me, but I can't stop shaking when those words are said to me. I can't stop picturing those horrible things over and over and needing to escape. This has happened before with her but I fell back into the realtionship because I felt that no-one else would understand what I'm going through and put up with my sometimes extreme responses. What can I do? | 7ptsd
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Have you ever taken a big career risk even knowing ADHD might mean you fail at it? : I've just been told by my SO about a job opportunity where I'd be making up to twice as much annually as I make now. I'm qualified for it and some of the skills involved are right up my alley.
But I'm scared. It's a lot more responsibility than my current retail gig and I'm still unmedicated.
My health insurance (thanks Obama!) kicks in in October and I plan to start calling places soon to get an appointment for then.
But I'm scared that even with therapy to maintain good executive functioning habits and meds to keep my head level I won't be able to handle this job. What if it's really boring? Retail isn't the most intellectually stimulating thing but at least it keeps my body moving and lets me daydream.
I guess what I'm really looking for is encouragement to try. I think I'd be able to leave my current job on good terms enough to come back, so maybe it's not as big a risk as it seems.
But failure is my number one fear in life and the idea of seriously embarrassing myself here makes me feel all icky.
**tl;dr I Have the opportunity to apply for a really good but difficult job. Have you ever taken that huge kind of risk to make your life better? Did it work out?** | 0adhd
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NEED: Stories of perseverance/success please! : 1) Hello everyone, so I'll get straight to the point, I've lost all motivation and well pretty much all hope I can get my life together. It all started after my sophomore year of college. I went through a one of the hardest periods of my life. I came out out and my entire family shunned me, expect for 2 people in my family.
2) I dated a guy for the first time; he then became a drug addict who I didn't give up on but the experience itself destroyed me. I was harassed by my Math professor and being a guy I just stoped going to class because it was so uncomfortable. I just couldn't believe a professor was asking me to take my shirt off to see my torso and other stuff that I don't want to get into. I know I should have reported him the second I new he was gross but I didn't think anyone would believe me because I'm a male.
3) To top it all of I lost my faith; I started having panic attacks and they got so bad whenever I prayed I would get them fearing God knows how terrible I am. So I was forced to stop believing in him so I wouldn't think of him and get panic attacks anymore. Probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life because I dedicated so much to myself to my following his teachings. I know it was because of panic disorder but still I only got panic disorder because I couldn't keep up with college.
4) It's been about an year since all of this happened and I know have clinical depression on top of ADHD. I was struggling before as it was and now I can't even more from my bed sometimes. I got through the panic attacks and I'm on Wellbutrin 300mg and 70mg vyvanse and it helps but it's just won't help if I feel I'm always going to struggle this hard, so why try?
5) All the jobs I've had I have either had to quite because of everything that happened or because my ADHD symptoms got in the way of my work. I have never not tried to be a hard worker or a good student. Seriously, I know I have ADHD and I know I have to work twice as hard just to be average. However, I just don't know how much more I can take of trying twice as hard. It seems like no matter what I do, how hard I try, I'm always going to come up short. I've been unemployed now for 4 months, I dropped out of college about a month ago. No one will hire me anymore and I'm in debt about $700.
6) (SUMMARY) Shitty sophomore year, came out got shunned by family, drug addicted boyfriend, guy professor tried taking advantage of me, panic disorder because ADHD symptoms interrupting my performance at school and work.
7) (NEED) So I need stories of perseverance/success from any of you who have gone through life with ADHD. It would really help me to hear from someone else that all hope isn't lost for people with ADHD. Please share with me your story and struggles of overcoming ADHD and other obstacles in your life! I need hope to keep on believing I can too please! (I'm not suicidal just in the toilet)
For me and anyone else who is in the same situation! Thank you in advance! | 0adhd
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Simple/Short/Silly History Questions Saturday, January 01, 2022 : Welcome to our Simple/Short/Silly history questions Saturday thread!
This thread is for all those history related questions that are too simple, short or a bit too silly to warrant their own post.
So do you have a question about history and have always been afraid to ask? Well, today is your lucky day. Ask away!
Of course all our [regular rules and guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/history/wiki/index) still apply and to be just that bit extra clear:
- Questions need to be historical in nature.
- Silly does **not** mean that your question should be a joke. | 5none
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Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope you all are safe, healthy and happy. : Even though I am still suffering from bipolar and depression but I will not lose hope and I want everybody to stay strong. I hope my message and greetings brings a little smile to anyone who's reading it. I thank you all a lot for helping me out. At last, Merry Christmas! | 2bipolar
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Do you ever feel like we were just put in this world to lead mediocre lives? : It’s so frustrating because I have a zillion hobbies that I can never perceive myself as “good enough” at. And I get frustrated so quickly once I realize that I’m not as good as someone who has spent their lifetime doing a hobby.
And then I just move to the next hobby.
I just don’t ever get out of the mediocre phase of a task because I’m not ok with ever being mediocre.
And now I have a ton of useless mediocre talents that I will never reach back to. And it’s incredibly frustrating. | 0adhd
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Positive attention is like the ideal drug : Especially affection. On Friday I had a fun date with a cute girl I work with and on Saturday and Sunday, I got to spend a bunch of time with some close friends. Then on Monday I posted a view in r/changemyview that got a bunch of upvotes and positive feedback. I'm feeling really positive and confident at the moment. Not feeling my usually sense of "withdrawal" from all the attention I've been receiving due to some mindfulness practices I've been nurturing, but fuck has it been a fun long weekend. | 3bpd
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It’s kind of shit that thinking about death calms me : Honestly, when life gets a little bit stressful, I think, “ well I could just off myself” and somehow feel relaxed and ready to go. Normally, I should be afraid as hell, but I just thought want the noise in life to end. Whether that’s through perseverance or a bullet is starting to not matter. | 4depression
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My diary entry from last year. I thought things would get better. But they never do and the worst part is I always blame myself for it. I still can't understand myself. : "If I'm not mistaken I'm kinda toxic. I hurt and break and make people sad. But I swear it's not intentional. I'm just reflecting what I'm given and feeling. I'm really sorry to the people I've reflected who didn't deserve it. You know that's exactly one of the reasons why I've always wanted to die. You see how depressing I am and how it affects people around me. I don't wanna make people feel what I feel because it ain't a good feeling most of the time. But right now even though i feel suicidal and depressed , I also feel really out of the world. Like right now I wanna drive my motorcycle around in the rain and drink a really strong coffee and think about how good life is and listen to happy music and run across bridges and take pictures of places no one thought were beautiful." | 4depression
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Men with Anxiety, how can your partner support you when your anxiety is about your relationship? : As the partner of a man with anxiety, in what ways can I help him when his anxiety causes him to have thoughts that he will hurt me and and that he needs to be alone and break up? He also is not someone to talk and go to someone for help when he’s down he prefers to be alone.
These are not constant thoughts, it just happened when he is in ‘these moods’ so I do think it is related to his anxiety. How can I help him and support him and try and get him help without being too much for him. | 1anxiety
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ADHD year in review: how many times did you lose your card(s) this year? : I lose my debit/cc/DL almost every time I needed to use it. I’ve found my cards in the laundry bin, inside the washing machine, in my car, in my mom’s purse, in my own purse (didn’t think to look where it belonged and assumed it was lost for good), in my partner’s wallet, at Target, under the driver seat, under the passenger’s seat, in a drawer, under my bed, and lastly in the fridge.
Thankfully I didn’t need to replace any card this year (but I did come close to reordering my driver’s license).
r/ADHD peeps, how often and where did you lose your stuff this year? | 0adhd
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DAE feel "in between places" after waking up from nightmare? : Woke up from a nightmare earlier and it feels like my brain is between places - partly still in the reality of the nightmare and partly here. Heart rate up. Am so tired but afraid of going back to sleep in case I have another.
Worst part is, in the nightmare I couldn't sleep due to the thing that caused me the trigger. Took an Ativan to calm down. | 7ptsd
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Women with Health Concerns and PTSD : Hey everyone, I’ve had quite the journey the last couple of years trying to get through a masters program in psychology to be a therapist and also dealing with health concerns. I came upon some research that led me to some conclusions that could possibly help some women who have gone through similar situations.
So I was raped when I was 10 years old and gone through other various forms of trauma all throughout my childhood. I functioned pretty well until I got to my graduate program in clinical psychology. I had been in a stable relationship with a man who is supportive and loving so everything felt like it was going great. I was required to do 40 hours of individual psychotherapy where my psychologist insisted we talk about my sexual abuse and trauma history. Eventually I agreed because I believed I could handle it since it hadn’t impacted me too much before. I always kept the survivor stance instead of the victim stance which is one if the keys to overcoming PTSD.
Well, after I started therapy, I began to get sick constantly with vaginal infections that could not be cured by antibiotics or any other treatment. I went to specialist after specialist, tried tons of treatments and it kept coming back up. I have been healthy and active for most of my life so this was extremely distressing and embarrassing considering I was sexually active at the time. I also began to experience an increase in random pains throughout my body.
Recently, research came out that has linked PTSD and inflammation, especially after receiving therapy for it, even if you’re no longer stressed. Chronic inflammation is the culprit for some pain along with so many diseases that are not currently curable.
At first this distressed me because clearly this had to be a contributing factor to my incurable infections (vaginitis is linked to chronic inflammation) and other various negative things happening to my body. After processing and crying for a while, I decided to do more research.
There are so many things to aid in fighting inflammation and I urge any of you experiencing pain and other health issues to do your research and protect yourself from a life long disease that will come with pain. If you already have one, I am so sorry. Hopefully, you can still do things to help improve your quality of living.
Basically, after much research, I made a plan to cut processed sugars out of my diet, exercise more, take medication that reduces inflammation (ibuprofen and asprin), utilize cannibas, drink coffee, and avoid alcohol. This will be hard work, but all of these things have a plethora of research supporting that they contribute to reducing inflammation and I believe it is so worth it.
This is just one of the things that come with taking back my life from the person who tried to destroy it. I strongly believe we deserve better and need to fight to protect ourselves. I hope that with this information maybe some of you can help yourselves. Good luck with your journey and stay strong! | 7ptsd
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My mom won't take me to get a diagnosis because she said I clearly don't have ADHD if caffeine hypes me up instead of wears me out. Is there any truth to this? : I'm F19 but still live with my parents. I'm under their insurance while trying to get a third job so I can afford my own and move out. Because of this, I can't get any sort of medical support without my parents' permission. I've asked to be tested for ADHD and autism and have been told by my mom that I obviously don't have them so she's not going to spend money to get me tested. She said that people with ADHD get tired when they have caffeine instead of hyper and that's why she says I clearly don't have it. Is this accurate? | 0adhd
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The teacher asks the class to ... : The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!” | 5none
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I am not sure I can do this anymore : But I don't want to give up hope, I want a good life so bad. But yet, I feel lonely, disconnected, isolated, and frustrated. My parents are in their 60s and they chose to live in the middle of nowhere. I think I am suffering from Psychological ED, and porn and food seem to be my go-to's.
I feel like I missed out on so much. There were girls that I was close with but I have never been in a relationship before. I am too shy and my Autism makes it difficult to understand people. People have said that I am smart but I have a 3.3 GPA in college right now. The Pandemic and my ADHD destroyed me.
Not to mention my bipolar, good fucking god the mood swings. I recently had a hypomanic episode and I felt "great", but I spent money on a game to buy currency and it was a shit load. Now I am in a depressive episode and there just doesn't seem to be anything that brings me joy. I did a fuck ton of drawing during my episode but now I can seem to do shit.
I constantly feel tired and dizzy, my mind is in a fog that I can't get out. My entire world is vague and dark and I can't do this shit anymore. I want to end my life so that I can end the pain. My therapist and meds only seem to do so much, my lithium is good but I have tried so many ADHD meds I am starting to give up hope.
But I don't want to give up hope, I want a good life so bad. But yet, I feel lonely, disconnected, isolated, and frustrated. My parents are in their 60s and they chose to live in the middle of nowhere. I think I am suffering. I can't take this shit, I want to go to the gym but I have to rely on my parents for transport and that is a pain. I have a job which is a good job so that is a that.
There is a part of me that feels like it is too late, that I am just born fucked like this. But most of it feels like my fault, and I am very anxious to do something about it yet I fucking can't do shit right now! FUCK! | 2bipolar
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What happened to all the rubble and debris from WWII? : Where did it all go? Was it used in other buildings? Was it crushed up and turned to gravel and sand? Was it chucked in a landfill? Was it buried under dirt and made into hills? This has been eating at me for years and I just can't find an answer. | 5none
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AI Deciphers Persian Cuneiform Tablets from 25 Centuries Ago : Computer Vision (CV) is one of the hottest areas in machine learning research, where it has been widely applied to help machines learn to “see.” Practical applications include recognizing people’s faces in ID systems, environmental perception for autonomous vehicles, or diagnosing disease from medical scans.
An interesting new trend is to apply CV to help interpret ancient languages and scripts, such as the Japanese [*kuzushiji* writing style](https://medium.com/syncedreview/kaokore-new-facial-dataset-from-japanese-scrolls-for-ml-522c7f5440f0). Now, researchers from the University of Chicago Oriental Institute (OI) and the Department of Computer Science have introduced an artificial intelligence tool called DeepScribe designed to read cuneiform tablets from 25 centuries ago.
Here is a quick read: [AI Deciphers Persian Cuneiform Tablets from 25 Centuries Ago](https://medium.com/syncedreview/ai-deciphers-persian-cuneiform-tablets-from-25-centuries-ago-afc69af3f244)
More information about this project is [here](https://news.uchicago.edu/story/how-ai-could-help-translate-written-language-ancient-civilizations). | 5none
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At what point did the Nazi high command start to get the feeling that they were going to lose? : Certainly they couldn’t have been confident in the prospect of facing America, Britain and the Soviets at the same time.
If I’m not mistaken, their original goal in the west was to conquer the continent, and then merely try to persuade the U.K to give up fighting against it and declare a peace. When Hitler launched operation Barbarossa, did he do so with the impression that the U.K. Would soon surrender, or was it more out of desperation that the war was inevitable with the USSR, and a swift victory against it would be the only way to avoid a 3-front war with the US, UK and USSR at the same time?
Finally, at what point did Nazi military officers and experts start to get the impression that there efforts would not likely be successful? Was it when they started to get bogged down in Russia, or when America was bombed in Pearl Harbor, or what?
Also, they may have known their efforts to be in vain before knowing the nature of Hitler’s maniacal nihilism in refusing to surrender. When do you think they first got the inkling that their leader was not going to surrender, ever, and that the end would be akin to a giant national suicide? | 5none
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How can you tell if someone with bpd wants to get better? : Say if they're currently 20y/o living with parents in an abusive chaotic household and they smoke weed to cope and have stopped their medication 7 months ago (said woman on phone shouted at them when they asked for a refill late)
How can you tell if they'd get much better over say 1 year if you moved them out and gave them a better, safer environment and paid for their therapy? Like if you're in a relationship with them and they say they want you to take care of them and they behave like a child a lot of the time due to poor upbringing
Is this too hard to answer? What things should I look for in them that shows they want to get better? | 3bpd
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Today’s win : I just checked off my 7th week of mood journaling. For me it’s hard to stay consistent with daily habits so I’m really proud of this one. Planning to keep it up! | 2bipolar
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How did large armies logistically maintain themselves in the Early Medieval Period? Particularly those in hostile environments like the Tibetan Plateau. : Hello, I've just been doing some reading on the Tibetan Empire, which I'd recommend looking into as it's extremely interesting.
My question is, how from a logistical perspective were armies in the Early Medieval Period, (in this case the 7th century), maintained?
Armies in the Ancient Era that I know of weren't as big, and often were in agriculturally rich regions such as the Mediterranean and so could sustain themselves from local farms, and often didn't need to worry about the weather.
Historian John Powers cites that according to Tibetan sources, in 634 A.D. 100,000 soldiers threatened the Songzhou region in China. With 200,000 soldiers being cited in Chinese sources.
Other sources claim that Tibetan Armies ran almost purely on plunder, and didn't have stores of grain.
So how, in such a hostile and elevated environment would an army of that size even begin to maintain itself? Armies of that size wouldn't be seen in Europe for a thousand years, which is far easier to navigate, supply, and feed from.
**TL;DR: Tibetan Armies were reportedly between 100,000 and 200,000 strong at times in 634 A.D., how would an army go about managing itself in these times?** | 5none
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Having a moment of clarity so wanted to share something positive : Your worth is never tied to another person. What they think of you, how they treat you is not a reflection on you. Your self does truly come from within. Even when you can't quite find it, even when you feel it's not there, even as you chase other people down begging them to love you so you can feel something, you're always in there. That inner self is you and it has value and it is all you're ever going to need
good luck all x | 3bpd
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Just baked muffins like a normal would : Usual baking process: sitting on sofa, wish I had cake. Contemplate going out to buy some, realise I’m too lazy. Remember there’s baking stuff in the kitchen. Ten seconds later, on a tiny square of empty worksurface start adding ingredients to bowl. Butter is too hard so I put it in the oven to soften a little. Decide to actually look up a recipe on a laptop in another room. Come back and the butter has melted completely. Don’t care, dump everything in, mix it up. Eat half the raw batter. Pull out half the kitchen cupboard looking for the right baking tray. Ignore time suggested in the recipe and just wing it. Cakes come out undercooked. Can’t be bothered putting them back, so just eat one, too hot. Feel sick from batter and cake, abandon baked items where they are and return to sofa.
Today I got everything out of the cupboard before I started. Then I put the recipe in a place in the kitchen where I could see it. Went through the recipe step by step. Cleaned everything up afterwards.
Obviously thanks to the Elvanse I don’t actually want to eat any of them but I’ve been feeling like the medication isn’t really helping with my focus so it feels like VICTORY. | 0adhd
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student advisor tells me to not take medications : I had an appointment with my student advisor whom I told that it's gonna take a while until I can get my medications, and that I'm having a shitty time. She told me that I'm too hung up on medications and should try small things like going outside and exercising first
I can only imagine what it must be like for someone who is still starting this journey to hear that all they have to do is go to the gym. I'm glad that at least I know better but I'm appalled that she would say that at all
edit: thank you all for your replies, I feel a lot better reading them. I have decided to initially either schedule another talk with her or send her an email explaining my position and why I found the comments about my reliance on medication to be harmful/hurtful/insensitive (I'll think of a better word later lol)
I'll keep you updated if something new or interesting happens. Thanks again! | 2bipolar
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Survey thread - Surveys posted outside this thread will be removed : If you have a survey you would like to share with us, you may do so here, please use the following format. Failure to do so will result in your survey being removed. Surveys not posted in here will result in a ban, the length of which will be decided at mods' pleasure.
**Who I am**: (Student, Researcher)
**Affiliation**: (university, company)
**Target group**: (PTSD sufferers, military vets)
**Compensation**: (raffle, payment)
**Link**: (how to access survey)
**Background**: (why are you doing this survey? Bachelor thesis, making a website)
**Link to results**: (Optional, for when the survey is completed)
| 7ptsd
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Thank you all for helping with sharing your stories and ways to help. : I really do appreciate it. Last night my husband went out with friends. I tried to beat the brain by getting him to a set an alarm for 2:00am, so he could send me a message to let me know if he would be later than 3:00am.
The brain has absolutely lost itself when I have woken before and he is not home when he said he would. Which throws me through a loop that then exists for weeks.
I woke at 12:00am, and he wasn’t home, but I remembered the deal we had. The brain then tried to tell me if I don’t contact him, harp on him about getting home safe and all that, that something horrible was going to happen. But I took advice from here and just remembered what I was thinking were just thoughts, I spiralled a little and started getting in to thinking about all the other things I “need” to do to keep everyone safe. But again could bring myself back to take none of those actions. I did get up to have a small amount of Seroquel, and when I got back in bed, 1:20am, my husband knocked on the door to be let in.
I am celebrating this seemingly small win, because it’s actually massive. And a lot of it is from reading your stories and replies to others.
I just wanted this out there too, because typing it out makes me a bit proud and I get to be a bit more at peace.
Thank you all so much. 💚 | 6ocd
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everything is so draining, i literally cant do anything : nothing is enjoyable, i'm always so moody, i get no pleasure or happiness from anything rlly
im so suicidal all the time from how blank everything is, i'm just existing, im not living, just surviving, making my way through day, doesn't make it easier that people suck, so i isolate myself even more because i genuinely do not like anybody near me
im so stuck | 4depression
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Does anyone else just feel really sad all the time : I don’t know if it’s my depression or PTSD or both but I’m just continually sad. I miss who I was when I was a kid but then I remember all the shit that happened to me and then it cycles back to how I think I’m too lazy now and etc etc. I feel like I can never experience actual happiness because I’ll always be triggered by something and my mood will go down again and/or I’ll start panicking. I think constant anxiety is burning me out for the most part and all I’m left with is fucking sadness. It sucks. | 7ptsd
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Anyone else else mad at how unfair shit is? : I (27f) am happily married to a very supportive wife (27f). The relationship before though was very emotionally and psychologically abusive and it took a while for me to get back to being myself. I was joking around with my wife picking on her and just messing around when my wife threw a small stuffed animal (maybe the size of a pomegranate) to me and it hit my leg. I wear glasses and I was in the process of putting them on when my wife threw it from across the room. As I saw the object (I couldn't see it was a stuffed animal) flying in my direction I froze and my heart stopped. I remembered a fight with my ex in which she threw plastic candles at me while screaming when we were having an argument.
Now my wife is completely aware of my past both with my ex and growing up in a household dealing with domestic violence, physical, emotional and psychological abuse. And she would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. She saw my face and she ran over and made sure I was okay. Like I said we were both messing around and being silly the moment just triggered me for some reason and it just makes me so mad. Here I am in a happy marriage living my best life and then I get triggered by something and it feels like I'm back at square one. It just feels so unfair like as soon as you feel free or can even forget for a while something just takes you back to the beginning. And I don't know about anyone else but it almost feels embarrassing to feel triggered by stuff anymore its like as if my brain thinks that with time I'm "fixed". And I know my body is having a natural response and I can't control these things but it just feels unfair when you've been doing good with it to feel right back at the start. | 7ptsd
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My therapist just refused to take me because I was 15 minutes late to a 1 hour appointment but still expects me to pay and I'm completely beside myself : I've been having an extremely hard time lately because not only am I dealing with my ADHD since always but my depression has gotten significantly worse for reasons I still don't understand.
I eventually looked into therapy because my family was concerned and found a lady that seemed nice. The first appointment went okay and she did give me some weird vibes in that she was very quick to get frustrated with me if I got distracted or side tracked, but I was desperate for help so I didn't want to leave over it.
So, I started Wellbutrin a week ago and it's been kinda messing with my sleep. I couldn't sleep at all last night even with trazodone. I accidentally fell asleep before my appointment and woke up at the time I was supposed to leave, left immediately and got there exactly 15 minutes later.
I rush upstairs then open her door and she's laying on the floor with a pillow and blanket. She popped up, got all embarrassed then said because I was 15 minutes late my appointment is over. I was extremely confused and asked why I couldn't just speak to her for 45 minutes and pay for the hour and she said that's just her policy.
over and over, she just kept saying it was just her policy. I asked why 15 minutes? Why does she not expect her patients to make mistakes like this considering they're going through a lot? what makes her think this is even remotely reasonable or ethical when I'm literally standing there crying and begging her to let me speak to her? No matter what I said, she responded that it was just her policy.
She then specified that even though my appointment has been canceled she still expects me to pay... I was standing right there in her office with 45 minutes left before her next appointment and she looked me in the eyes and told me that my appointment can't be carried out and I must pay regardless.
Ironically, I forgot the money as she only takes cash for "the safety of her clients". So, I told her I would bring it later but I'm not interested in scheduling another appointment. She just nodded and I left.
I'm completely beside myself. I keep crying because I feel so guilty for accidentally falling asleep and being late and also because I needed to talk to her so badly and she just refused over and over.
Should I pay her even though she NEVER told me about this policy? Should I report her? I don't know know what to do. I feel so hopeless.
| 0adhd
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Is anyone with OCD also paranoid? : I will become obsessed, paranoid and worried over ridiculous things that happened awhile ago. For instance, right now I’m in a crazy panic over an old friend having text messages from a YEAR ago and using them against me (its complicated and I don’t want to say too much). This is the stuff that keeps me awake in the middle of the night. Granted, I shouldn’t have confided in her about the problem but I did and I regret it. How can I calm myself down? Is it not ridiculous to worry about something I did a year ago? Even more ridiculous to think she’s still got the messages and is going to use them against me (I have no proof at all that’s what she wants to do, just a complete anxious worry) Gotta love anxiety and OCD! | 6ocd
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Does the ptsd get any better : I’ve been really struggling the past two months with severe PTSD after a traumatic night out and I’m not coping too well… I feel too overwhelmed to cope and I honestly can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel…I feel I’m drowning despite doing everything I can to try to help with my recovery. | 7ptsd
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IMPORTANT: Be wary of who is contacting you : I have been contacting by a dude on this app who I am pretty sure has been trying to exploit my vulnerabilities in my bipolar disorder and the fact I am under 18. He was asking for my bra size, whether I had engaged in any sexual stuff and tried to get to do these bdsm test things or whatever.
Be cautious and careful of people’s intentions because I thought this person was just trying to support me. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable block and report these people. | 2bipolar
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Struggling : I am sober for the first time maybe ever. I used drugs and alcohol to forget what I went through. I was 13 when it started, and 18 with 2 boys when I was finally free, and was home and safe. I had been drinking and drugging ever since, to be able to sleep, to be able to function, I thought I was doing great, thought I got ever it, until I failed a drug test and lost custody of my 2 boys. I was functioning, barely, but was always drunk or on pills and negligent to my children at times. I deserved losing custody. I changed my whole life, I got full custody back, and have a 3rd son now. I have the life i always wanted. A home, a car, a living understanding husband who works hard enough to allow me to be a stay at home mom. I'm completely sober, and actually taking my medicines prescribed to me for ptsd, Bi polar, borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety. I can remember everything now. I can hear a noise and be right back in the hell I lived, I can smell it. I have nightmares, i can barely leave the house my anxiety is so bad. The only thing I can do is stay in my house and take care of my children. I take pride in the fact that I do that very well. When it comes to being a functional member of society I can't. People make me anxious, just being in a store with strangers is hard, making phone calls is hard. Driving puts me into a panic attack, I feel like I am 18 again and just stepped off that plane returning to the United States after escaping my hell. I feel like a lost terrified child. I thought I was past this. Apparently I just avoided it with all the send medicating. It's been 13 years almost, and I feel like it was yesterday. I am seeing a psychiatrist and am about to start seeing a therapist that specializes in my particular situation. I feel so terrible. I feel like a burdon to my wonderful beautiful family. I want to be normal. I hate myself some days. I just needed to say that. I just want to be ok. | 7ptsd
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Existing, not living : Well, I've really painted myself into a corner.
I'm over 50 and am divorced. I live alone in a basement that I rent out from the homeowner - it's cheap, but really all I can afford. No pets allowed, no visitors, no proper kitchen, no outdoor space.
I have a good-paying job. Unfortunately, it pays well because it is known to cause tremendous stress/anxiety and there's a high burnout rate. I pay crippling support - ex never worked. I have 2 children but one has completely disowned me. We spoke last in 2016.
Oh, and I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2003. Still see psychiatrist, still on meds.
My other child is just finishing high school and has become the center of my entire life. We talk every day and she lives with me part-time.
I had to basically stop spending time with the few friends I had or pursue hobbies that I enjoyed because at the time I felt my job left me too overwhelmed to do anything but come home and lie in bed.
"Temporary" coping mechanisms have become permanent habits. I have become obsessed with saving money - denying myself the slightest luxury, counting every penny, avoiding using the car, eating donated food from the food bank.
And even though I haven't been at work since March (some working from home), I still spent the last 5 months basically lying around, not wanting to spend money, not wanting to interact with people. When my daughter is around, I feel some sense of purpose, driving her to work and picking her up, cooking/cleaning for her, making sure she has everything she wants/needs.
Going back to work in this pandemic is anxiety-provoking. The past week I've struggled to even get out of bed. I avoid the news. I cringe when work-related emails come in.
I was much more normal once.
But slowly, I let it all slip away - my family, my friends, my interest in new adventures, hobbies, travel, etc. All the things that make life worth living.
ANXIETY caused me to 'prune' away all the branches of my life that made me a person. Fear has left me existing, not living. | 1anxiety
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I Don’t Remember My Trauma : This is more a question than anything because I’m at a loss. At one point when I was about 12, everyone I know says within a singular day I instantly changed personalities. Went from a really bubbly bright, personable kid to someone who HATES being touched, insomnia, frequent nausea and dissociative episodes, agoraphobia, and a very distinct set of triggers all related to r*pe and sexual abuse. Hearing about it makes me instantly start shaking violently and I will begin crying. Hell, sometimes I even start feeling that way when I simply FEEL as if it’s about to come up in conversation. Additionally, to this day I am terrified of being hugged or held at all, even by my own mother, and the very thought of being remotely intimate with anyone in the future makes me so incredibly tense.
But I genuinely have no idea why.
I don’t remember a good portion of my life, but I know there are places/people I began avoiding like the plague before almost entirely isolating myself and eventually moving to an entirely different country altogether. My symptoms have progressed and only gotten worse over time but I still don’t know what happened or why this happened. I don’t know if something actually happened or what, I’m so confused and I feel ridiculous for experiencing all of this.
Has this happened to anyone else? I’m so desperate for answers, sorry if this isn’t the right place to put this.
EDIT:
To add some additional information, I’m 19 now. I experienced other kinds of trauma prior to and following this, but nothing effected me so incredibly harshly as the things I don’t remember.
And to answer some questions, no one took me anywhere to see anyone. Any concerns I had were shut away and questions about therapy or help were punished. Wasn’t really anything I could do until I moved out and even now I can’t afford it. Because I now live in a country where this is possible, I’ve turned to alcohol and it has taken over my life. I am so confused and stressed out, but I am also incredibly grateful for everything everyone has said below.
Thank you for being brave and sharing your stories to provide clarity. I know that’s difficult. I appreciate it more than words can express. | 7ptsd
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Does anyone else feel ALL the uncomfortable emotions aLL the dang time? : I'm a ball of uncomfortable, conflicting emotions.
It's like I'm living a double life: on the outside, I'm constantly told I appear so centered, so calm, so sure, so happy with life, so put together. Meanwhile, on the inside...
I'm a smorgasbord of: melancholy + loneliness + heartbreak (for no apparent reason!!) + NOSTALGIA like nothing else + fear-of-being-left-behind-ness + fear-that-I-HAVE-been-left-behind-ness + insecurity (despite having high self-esteem... it's an effed up paradox) + fear-that-it's-too-late (re: EVERYTHING) + fear-of-not-being-liked (despite actually not really caring ultimately what people think... again, a paradox I can't explain) + ALL OTHER CONFLICTING EMOTIONS.
Does ANYONE else feel like this 24/7?!?!?!
I mean, ya... this is is basically the human condition in a nutshell. But ALL these emotions at the same time, ALL the time, with no relief EVER?! I've asked a couple of my friends about this, and they couldn't relate.
I'm leaps and bounds ahead of where I used to be with my anxiety (super grateful for that), but it's almost like by doing the work, I now have to FEEL all the uncomfortable emotions all the time. And the best way I've found to live with it is just that: live with it, not resist it, not push against it... just let it be.
But let's not kid ourselves... IT'S PAINFUL.
Anyone?! Please tell me there are other more of you out there!
| 1anxiety
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How do you deal with strong feelings early on in dating? : Context: Met a new girl and went on an amazing second date with her last Friday, but the texting has slowed down. I texted her yesterday and she said she's been crazy busy and would hit me up today. She still hasn't texted and I read into things too much, so I can't stop thinking bad thoughts like that I'm about to get ghosted, did something wrong, she doesn't want to see me, etc. I get overexcited about new people and it brings out the obsessive side of my ADHD that distracts me from the rest of my life.
I'm curious about how other ADHD types deal with these strong feelings. It bothers me so much that I get so invested in people I barely know. | 0adhd
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I (27F) feel like I’m falling back into depression. I don’t want to go back to that space. : Recently, I’ve been crying a lot and just feeling triggered by a lot of different things happening in my life. I feel like I have no support system and nobody sees me. The only person who I talk to is my sister but she’s not taking me seriously. I’ve been feeling really deep and painful emotions about my past failed friendships and my emotional distance from my parents. When I was crying and venting to her she laughed and thought I was just “being a cancer.”
I don’t have any other friends who can talk about this stuff with. I feel like a mess who a lot of people avoid. My dad hasn’t spoken to me in a while and I don’t want to call him because every time I do I start crying. I also have been keeping this secret from everyone in my family but I think he sexually abused me when I was younger and it’s part of the reason why he avoids me. I can’t really remember if it’s true but my first step mom told my mom that he touched her daughter. He also does and says other things that make me suspicious. It’s a very confusing feeling because I don’t know if it’s true and I also want my father’s love/support.
I recently got out of an abusive relationship but I’m still seeing him occasionally and I feel incapable of breaking away from him. I went to my college homecoming which was a very traumatic time in my life and brings up old negative feelings about myself. I’m broke and living with my mom.
It’s just so much and nobody understands. I just feel like everybody hates me for being depressed and I don’t want to talk to anyone about all of my problems because it will push them away. I am starting to go to therapy but I don’t have any friends who get me and I feel so alone.
I struggled with depression in the past but I felt like I was overcoming it. Now I’m back in this space where I feel like a shitty person. | 4depression
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I need a mental health day off work after working 16 hour shifts short staffed all week. Don’t know what to do. : I don’t get PTO or sick leave, but I want to call in sick on the 2nd because this entire week I’ve been on the end of sick calls by my coworkers. What makes it so bad is that I’m working double shifts for 16 hours and I’m a certified nursing assistant as well as a full time student. It’s a brutal job and I’m already extremely burnt out, I’ve been pulling overtime all summer since May and work at least 24 hours a week during the semester. I’ve been planning to call in sick on the 2nd since my second short staffed double this week. Then my coworker called in sick AGAIN from today until the 2nd and made today my third short staffed double shift this week. To make matters worse, instead of having 3 of us scheduled (fully staffed) on the 2nd it was just me and that coworker. Now, I’m the only one scheduled on a full floor with 21 patients. I just can’t imagine myself doing another 16 hour shift missing another CNA, let alone a shift by myself on such a hectic floor. Everyone else is already overworked so I doubt anyone will pick it up. They don’t give us compensation for having to take care of more people or working alone either. I haven’t called in sick since November last year and that was very legitimate illness. I know my coworkers are going to be pissed at me but at this point I’m almost just ready to quit. I’ve been at this job 4 years and get no respect for constantly overextending myself without receiving any benefits. The second I do something like call out they forget all the times I’ve went out of my way to help out and only remember that I screwed the schedule up for a day. The nursing manager NEVER comes in to help. Idk what to do :-( I feel like shit, overworked burnt out and unappreciated. | 0adhd
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Debating on killing myself tonight : Shaking right now but I got in the biggest fight with my dad. My brother just stormed out, my dad thinks we do nothing. I don't bother anyone, I work everyday besides the weekend and he's attacking me saying I don't do shit, when 5/7 days I'm at work the whole time ( it's my getaway from everything ). I'm tired of fighting , being yelled at, and everything. I'm crying and my emotions are high as we speak. Thank you for reading | 4depression
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Tips for a struggling person : How does everyone work on confidence and self love? It’s something I’ve always struggled with. I have never particularly liked myself and have the problem of self degradation. | 3bpd
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Some people were asking for more WWII photos with the recent top post. Here are some from my grandfathers. : edit: some photos are graphic
A quick synopsis here of my grandfathers' experiences during WWII:
pics http://imgur.com/a/yJ4wN#0 from my paternal grandfather, a member of the 9th Armored Division's 14th Tank Battalion who fought in the Battle of the Bulge and captured the Ludendorff Bridge at Remagen on the west bank of the Rhine, where no German enemy had crossed since Napoleon in 1806. He also was part of a small patrol and recon unit that discovered a body on the side of the road. And then another. And then another. And then dozen more. The trail was the fallen bodies of the stragglers during a march that lead to Buchenwald and Dachau. My grandfather later become a speaker about his war experience and spoke to military gatherings and schools for the rest of his life. One of the many interviews with him here: http://i.imgur.com/3rSVf.jpg He mentions scribbling his address for prisoners in the concentration camps- these addresses he gave out were later used by an untold number of survivors as "proof" to the American embassy of relatives in American and were then given priority visa for immigration status. Many of the penniless, family-less, and life-devastated survivors made their way to my city and ended up at the door of my great-grandmother, who took them in, and she even officially adopted two orphaned teen boys who showed up at her door. But I'm sure countless more we never knew about made their way to Ellis Island and beyond, and their families now are flourishing Americans due to a simple piece of paper.
My maternal grandfather spoke seven languages and was a vet of the Greek army who fought against the Italians in WWII until Germany invaded and deported all the Jews to concentration camps. Greece had one of highest decimation of it's Jewish population at about 93%. My grandfather and his brother-in-law were the only surviving members of his entire extended family, meaning an entire family tree was wiped out of existence. My uncle and male cousin are the only two people left in the world carrying on my grandfather's family/last name. He was shipped to Auschwitz and then Dachau then a third unnamed camp before being liberated by American soldiers.
Both said that to the day they died, they never forgot the smell.
My maternal grandfather was interviewed in 1980 by local historians in a 6-8 hours interview. A couple years back, the historical society transcribed the tapes. Because my grandfather had a heavy Greek accent, my plan is to one day start slowly go through the tapes and transcripts attempting to correct any parts they transcribed incorrectly or marked as inaudible. If anyone has a legitimate interest in reading the extremely long interview due to your field of study, I am willing to send the link through a PM. But because it identifies me, I am not going to post it here. | 5none
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. : If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
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Am I overreacting? : So, I’ve been suicidal since my early teens and I have self harmed since I was about 10. I’m now 27. I moved back in temporarily with my parents due to renovations being done at my home.
Yesterday, I got into a very ugly argument with my dad. Over food, smh. He took something I said the wrong way and was yelling & cussing at me. With all the stress in my life, being a grad student, mental health, and work cutting pay. I told him that I couldn’t deal with his games that I had been going thru a lot and felt like killing myself from the stress.
He then told me “ok and? I’m not going to beg you”. I was very hurt over that comment and my mom was telling me that I overreacted and took it the wrong way. I have not talked to him since, I just can’t seem to find a way to believe he cared about me when he said that.
Any advice? | 4depression
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Why is Connection so hard? : I hate how i am such a people pleaser and how people take that to their advantage and be so grimy and treat me like dirt. Why is it so hard to have a genuine and honest communication with no string? Like it’s hard enough for me to make friends and even keep a friend and the ones I do have use me like a restaurant cook spoon and don’t even bother to clean me they just toss me to the side when their done. Like why is such a connection to build friendship so damn hard? | 1anxiety
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