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t3_vxfdr | AskReddit | Reddit, what do I do with my life, now that I have ruined it? | So here is the back story -
Up until 2 months ago, I had a really cushy job, made great money and really liked what I did. However, I was living with an opiate/heroin addiction that was getting worse and worse by the day. It finally got really bad and I ended up getting arrested with an assortment of drugs on me and since the amount was above a certain threshold, the police charged me with intent to distribute.
My car was seized, and since it was financed, repossessed and my credit score is destroyed. I lost my job because the police sent my work laptop to my job directly instead of letting me get it. Once my work got my laptop from the prosecutor's office, they knew that my story of "losing" it at a restaurant was bogus and fired me on the spot. Anyways, all of the legal stuff has played out and I was convicted of 2 "failure to turnover controlled dangerous substance" charges (In NJ this is a misdemeanor and is less than an actual possession charge, but it is still bad).
Anyways, this was 4 months ago, I have since been to rehab, and am still in outpatient therapy twice a week and have been clean since my arrest (150 days today). Now I can't get a job, I can't get a loan, I can't go back to school and put myself into more debt since this will be on my record for 5 years at least. I don't know what to do - can you please help me? | drugs are bad mmmkay - I lost my job, my credit score, my car, my clean record and I don;t know what to do now. |
t3_v2hr6 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is something seemingly casual someone has done for you made you fall in love? | We were having a work party and we are all quite young and I found myself down the street in some random park taking care of my boss as he vomited on himself. As I came back to the club we were at I walked up to one of the guys gave him a friendly hit on the chest and told him to meet me at the bar to get a drink. Apparently I was significantly more drunk then I thought because what actually happened was this~ I walked up and gave him a friendly hit on the chest, totally interrupting a girl mid sentence who was talking to him. They had just danced for over and hour and he had bought her a drink, then I swooped in told him to meet me at the bar and he immediately told her he had to go. I proceeded to buy a drink and spill it all over him with my hand jester story telling then told him I wanted to dance and left him, who happily waited for me to finish getting my dance on and take my drunk ass home. | Got outrageously drunk and cock blocked someone who was more then willing to take care of me instead. I took it to heart in the best of ways. |
t3_2ksx8u | relationships | I (19M) am trying to get over my friend (18F) that I have feelings for. | Okay, so here's my predicament. Me and my friend are decently close. Not close like anything romantic, but as close as two friends can be. We know each other pretty well, and we're pretty comfortable around each other at this point. My main issue is that I'm straight, and she's pansexual. I think she's given up on guys entirely because she recently came out to her family as lesbian. Now, I have feelings for her, but she does not have any feelings for me. But here's the heavy hitter.
She does things like she does have feelings for me. Nothing romantic, but we talk on a nearly every day basis, she texts and calls me over all people when she's bored, and now she wants to get an apartment with me. Now, I'm alright with this, but I'm confused as to why she's doing these things. She has, straight up said to me, that she doesn't have romantic feelings for me. But I'm confused as to whether or not she does. She's said before that she's had past relationships that've turned out awful. I tend to not ask her about them, but the pattern in her relationships with guys is that they're dating, they break up, they don't associate with each other anymore.
Is she just lying to me so we don't risk not associating with each other if we do get together and break up? Or is she legitimately not interested? If she really isn't interested, then how do I get her out of my head? She's everything I've wanted in a woman. She is THE perfect type for me. I mean, we have the same preferences for just about everything, and I'm very attracted to things that describe her, (dimples, brunette, short, girly, cutesy, etc.) but should I just forget about ever taking a step forward with her and just be perma-friend-zoned? I tend to overthink things a lot, so am I doing just that, and I should just forget about anything romantic between us? | I have feelings for my friend, but I'm not entirely sure she doesn't have any feelings for me. She treats me like a boyfriend and I'm confused. |
t3_xew9i | relationship_advice | How do I (19/F) get my boyfriend (22/M) to do more things with me? | So I (19/F) would like to do more things with my boyfriend (22/M), but I can't think of what to do. It seems like everything I suggest or come up with, he doesn't like and doesn't want to do. I wanted to go swimming, so we went to a pool with one of our roommates, but he refused to go in with us, and just sat at the other end of the pool and watched. Right now Im not in school as it's summer vacation, so I have been pretty bored at home since I only work part-time. I often want to go and get out of the house, not really caring what we do. But everything I can think of he never wants to do! I try asking him what he wants to do, and what he likes, but he almost always says "I don't know."
Now another issue, is he enjoys playing WoW a lot. I don't care if he plays it, but I do hate when he makes me wait because hes playing the game. Sure we are sitting at home doing nothing, im surfing reddit, hes playing the game, thats fine. Its when I need to go somewhere, and I have to wait 15 minutes sometimes more, until he is finished his raid or whatever hes doing in the game.
Im not sure if this is relevant, but maybe it has to do with why he never wants to do anything?
Other details: We live together, dating for 1.5 years, Im going on vacation for a month starting tomorrow so tonight is our last night together. | Boyfriend never wants to do anything I suggest, when asked he claims to not know what he wants to do, also spends lots of time on WoW and makes me wait around when we have things to do |
t3_4e6a0q | AskDocs | Elbow pain while throwing | I am 16 and I play baseball for my highs school varsity team. I was pitching in a scrimmage on Wednesday and while I was warming up I felt a pop on the inside of my elbow, it didn't hurt that bad or anything so I didn't think much of it and went ahead and pitched. Although when I started pitching I noticed that I was throwing around 20 mph slower than normal and I couldn't throw strikes to save my life. After I was done pitching I was put at catcher and whenever someone stole second base and I tried to throw them out my throw would be super slow and end up rolling or slowly bouncing to the second basemen. After all that when we were finishing up practice I took my compression sleeve off and the inside of my elbow was in a lot of pain, I told my mom and she made a doctors appointment for Friday. So the next day at practice I was warming up and stretching and my elbow popped again while throwing and it became painful to throw. So on Friday at the doctor I described my symptoms and stuff and he just kind of looked at it and said I probably had golfers elbow. Where I live there isn't a lot of baseball played so he didn't do any of the tests to check for any torn ligaments or something and he said come back in three weeks if it is still bugging me and to not pitch during that time. What my concern is, is that I tore or strained my ucl and that I may need surgery. | Elbow popped while pitching and it hurts on the inside of my elbow to throw or pitch, doctor shrugged it off and said I have golfers elbow, while I think I injured my ucl. |
t3_3t0pbn | loseit | Prevention (i.e non-surgical) of excess skin during large scale fat loss and any experiences with Gotu Kola? | So I (22/M/300lbs/6'3") am currently about 10% of the way to my fat loss goal, going from 310lbs+ down to around the 200lbs mark using the /r/4Hourbodyslowcarb diet. I've basically accepted the fact I'm going to end up with loose skin, even if I add some level of muscle.
I was recently listening to a Tim Ferris Show podcast where he interviewed Charles Poliquin about various topics related to fat loss and muscle building (a good listen here ) and they briefly covered the topic of excess skin after weight loss and mentioned a herb called Gotu Kola... Poliquin stated that after 6-9months of taking 3 times a day many of his clients started to see rapid reductions of excess skin. | so I'm basically wondering if anyone has had any experience with Gotu kola as a means for reducing excess skin or any alternative (non-surgical) methods for tightening up loose skin after fat loss |
t3_j0ler | relationship_advice | What to do about the end date of a college relationship... | I've been dating my current (and first) bf for a little over a year now. However, as the title says, we're both going into our last year of undergrad, so as time goes on, the end date is becoming more and more imminent and I don't really know how to react to it.
It's still uncertain where both of us will end up, but we're both intending to take the grad school route and go to the best school that will fund us. But as time goes on, I keep getting this idea that our whole relationship is meaningless and silly, because he's going to break it off with me as soon as he gets into a different school than me.
I realize it's silly to worry about something like this a year down the line and probably me being overly clingy in my first real relationship. But, not taking this into account, everything with him is better than I could have ever imagined! I just think sometimes when he mentions a school he wants to go to thats really far away (or even in a different country) that leaving me would be easy for him and that it would be better to break things off sooner than later. (I have no intentions of breaking up with him at all though). I'm trying to take a 'que sera, sera' approach, and just enjoying the time we have together now... | My bf of the past year and a half are graduating college this upcoming year and I don't know how to take the imminent expiration date on the whole ordeal... |
t3_1qrpi5 | pettyrevenge | Have fun being late to work tomorrow | I live in an apartment complex with underground parking, but unassigned spots.
There are several towers, and I live in the smallest and farthest tower, which also is the least occupied, so the parking around my tower entrance generally isn't a problem.
However, the complex's A/C machinery is right up against the spots for the tower, so it can be difficult to open your driver door if someone parks too close to the line.
This douche with a Cayenne GTS has been making it difficult to park the last week, so I've been waiting for the right amount of inches to pull this off.
He parked today a little to close, but just enough for me to get out with no issues; however he won't be able to get in without figuring out which apartment my car belongs to and me pulling out.
I'm going to take a long shower tomorrow and "not hear" my phone. (Sunday is the first working day of the week here.) | Douche with a Cayenne GTS parks like a dick, won't be able to get into his car tomorrow morning :) |
t3_1wp5mz | relationships | My [22F] boyfriend [23M] has never mentioned me on social media and it is bothering me. | I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. Things are pretty good and we see eachother everyday.
I feel like this may be a silly issue but at the same time I am quite bothered by it. My boyfriend has never mentioned me/having a girlfriend on any of his social media including Facebook, instagram, and Twitter. We also do not have any photos of us, we haven't ever even taken a photo together.
I also have never mentioned him on my social media but that is because I barely use it. Last status I've posted was months ago. I also was following by example, he never mentioned me so I never mentioned him because I felt he would not want me to.
Now all the friends that he actively hangs out with and his family all know we are dating, and if we go out he will always introduce me as his girlfriend. So this is a bit conflicting. It seems as if he his hiding his relationship online but not that way in person.
Today it really got to me because we were out for a birthday dinner for a friend and he tagged the other people we went with but not me. And many times when I buy him something or bring him food he will take a picture of it and in the caption act like he was one who got it. It's annoying to me.
I'm very non-confrontational and hate fighting (which is a problem) but I now feel the need to bring this up. Does this seem like an issue? How do I bring this up in a way to make it least likely to start a fight. I just want to explain how I feel almost hidden but not come off sounding crazy because it's just social media. | boyfriend has never mentioned me on social media but people know we are together and he always introduces me as his girlfriend. How do I validate that this bothers me even though it is just Facebook. |
t3_115uun | relationships | My boyfriend [19] gets angry when I [18] can't play games with him. What do I do? | My boyfriend is 19 and I'm 18. We've been together for three years. My boyfriend is a huge gamer; It's pretty much the only thing he does, spending all day/night playing. This doesn't bother me at all as he should do what he loves.
I do occasionally play games, and my boyfriend would like me to play online with him.
The problem is I can't afford to buy the specific games he wants me to get as I just started my first year at university. I only have what I've saved from working this and last summer, and half has already been used up from tuition, textbooks, and driver's ed. I feel like I should be saving for any future expenses that should come up. I looked into buying Guild Wars 2, like he wanted, but it's $60.
I'd also like to play Minecraft with him, as it's less expensive, but I don't own a credit card and my parents would say no to using theirs even if I payed them back.
Even when I agree to play free to download games with him, it seems like I never have time. During the summer I was either working, or too tired and just wanted to lie down or sleep. Now, I'm either at school all day, or reading and doing assignments.
I haven't told him about the money issue as it's a little embarrassing, but he thinks the other reasons may be excuses. We don't get to see each other often so he'd like to use this as an opportunity to sort of bond. He gets annoyed when I say I can't play when he asks right away sometimes.
How can explain this to him in a way that doesn't seem like excuses and that he understands?
Any tips on how to manage my time better so that I do have time? | Boyfriend's passion is gaming, and would like to include me. I can't afford games and never have time. How can I change this? |
t3_1fkg6k | relationships | I [22F] made the mistake of seeing my husbands [25M] Facebook messages. | 22 Female, married for 2 years, together for 5, with 25 male and we have one daughter, 3 years old. We have always been very open with our social media networking, often asking the other one to check notifications, messages, etc for ourselves. I recently learned about the "others" folder on Facebook and saw I had a bunch of unseen messages, decided to check my husbands as he has no access to a computer.
It turned out to be lucky I did because he had an important familial message in there, but I also ended up finding messages to women, and an ex whom he had an extensive and close relationship with, that contradicted a lot of things I had previously believed. Nothing so terrible that it outright proved cheating, but messages like "I still love you, I'm sorry for the way things ended, I think about you a lot" (to the ex) and messages that were highly flirtatious and lacked mentioning of being in a committed relationship to various "friends". Previously he had told me these women were hitting on him, contacting him, etc. and now I know this isn't true.
I'm really not too distressed as they all were BEFORE we got married, but I feel a bit angry. If he lied about small stuff like that, it seems highly likely that at some point he cheated on me. It doesn't help that we are in a long distance relationship as of last week, and will be for the next 5 months.
So I KNOW it's my fault for clicking the link, it was so stupid of me but honestly I didn't even expect to see anything of the likes! At this point in our relationship do I just let it go? | Wound up finding misleading and slightly romantic messages from my husband to other women on Facebook from before we got married. Do I confront him about my feelings? |
t3_2u1rcj | self | I fucked up incredibly badly and need to rant | So there's this girl that I've been in an online relationship with for the past several months. Over time, she told me some serious things, things that I talked to the counselor at my school about. The counselor at my school, with my consent and all, contacted the school this girl was going to and told the counselor there about the stuff my now ex GF was involved in. Anyways, long story short, CPS ended up investigating her house and she's probably going to be removed from her home because I told my counselor about this stuff.
Did I do the right thing, Reddit? From what she told me, she was deeply depressed and was harming herself. Her parents either didn't know or don't care from what she's told me. | may have gotten a girl placed in the foster care system. I'm extremely guilty about this. Did I do the right thing? |
t3_tddim | AskReddit | So I read a lot about police brutality on reddit. Time to turn the tables, which police related stories restored your belief in law enforcement. I begin. | I'm from germany, my impression of the american law enforcement is created through the internet. And as you can guess, it's almost only bad news you read on the net. But I'm sure that this isn't representative at all.
So here is my story. I was on a student exchange in Berlin and some friends and I were getting pretty drunk and were partying all over town. So after a long night we finally decided it was time to head to our hotel. But upon leaving the club we realized that we had no idea how to get back. Berlin is pretty huge and the only thing we knew was the name of the street our hotel was in. And as poor students that we were, there also wasn't the option of taking a cab. Also it was the pre-iPhone time so no GPS guidance for us.
We ended up running in circles with no idea where to go. Somehow two cops must have seen us running this way again and again. So this police car stops right near us and the window rolls down. The officer asks us if we are lost. We told him our story and where we needed to go. He then starts to explain to us (we were obviously still drunk) where we need to go.
As the explanation got longer and longer the other cop says "Look at these guys do you think they'd even find the way around the next corner? And by the way even I wouldn't know where to go after your explanation. Come on hop in guys.". So this two police officers ended up taking some drunken tourists home to their hotel. Oh and the best thing was, not everyone of us was in the legal age for drinking. | Were drunk in another city. Didn't know how to get to hotel. Cops describe how to get back, realize we're to drunk to get there, so they drove us back. |
t3_225c2c | weddingplanning | MOH duties...rant and advice about bachelorette party. | All my bridesmaids are long distance. Because of this, I had wanted to group the bachelorette party and bridal shower into one weekend in my home town where we all grew up. I expressed this to my MOH when the shower date had been decided. My aunts are taking care of the shower duties, so I told my MOH not to worry about the shower, she would have time to focus on the bachelorette planning.
Well my shower is next week and I found out today that the other bridesmaids have not been contacted about the bachelorette party. Two of them already had plans set up with their close families for their Saturday evening since they were visiting from out of town. I'm completely shocked and have no clue on how to talk to the MOH about this.
It's not like the MOH and I haven't discussed the party. Last weekend we decided on the restaurant we were planning on going to. I asked her to contact another bridesmaid for ideas on clubs afterwords. So we've kept in contact about the bachelorette party plans, but apparently the rest of the bridesmaids have no clue its happening. At this point it looks like it's just going to be me, her and a friend of mine that will be in town. Any ideas on what to do? I dont want to inconvenience the girls and make them travel hours and hours again, but man I was really hoping to have a bachelorette party... | My MOH was supposed to plan the bachelorette party conveniently the same weekend as the bridal shower. Its next week and none of the bridesmaids knew about it. |
t3_2j4mir | relationships | I [26/M] hate my girlfriend's [32/W] family. Would you marry the person of your dreams despite disliking their relatives? | I'm a 26 year old man and I've been with my 32 year old girlfriend for over 3 years now. Put simply, she is incredible and the woman of my dreams. Her family, on the other hand, I loathe. Although they genuinely approve of me, and would want nothing more but for me to marry my girlfriend, I can't stand them.
I hate them for the fact that they are completely dissimilar to my girlfriend. They are ignorant, ridiculously cheap, narcissistic, sexually repressed, highly religious, and never give my girlfriend and I space. I'm from an Italian background, thus family is highly important to me. Since my girlfriend is of Greek heritage, I thought our families would be similar, but they are worlds apart...
I understand that when you marry someone, you are essentially marrying their family as well. Although I love my girlfriend to death, I'm struggling with the idea of being stuck with her relatives (especially her parents) for the rest of my life...
Do any of you dislike your in-laws? How did you prevent them from tainting your marriage? | I want to propose to the woman of my dreams, but my intense disdain towards her family is preventing me from doing so. How do you cope with the fact that you will never understand or like your spouse's relatives? |
t3_1b1xae | relationship_advice | [26/m] Head wants to like this girl, heart doesn't | This girl likes me. We've been on a few dates. On paper she's really everything I'm looking for. The only problem is I don't feel the same about her. I've naturally developed crushes on girls and it feels wrong to try to make a relationship out of something where I don't feel anything in the beginning. However, it's not exactly like I'm getting jumped left and right by supermodels so I don't want this to be a lost opportunity.
But part of me feels like if I keep trying to make myself like her, I'll have a mental block against actually liking her. I've met girls before whom i didn't have a crush on and developed one over time, but I don't know if that will happen when the possible relationship is blaring in my face right from the beginning. I'm not sure how to move forward.
Have you ever ended up with someone who you didn't really 'fall for' at the beginning? | do I try to force myself to like this girl who likes me and is a good fit on paper or if i don't feel it naturally, it's not gonna happen? |
t3_1tg9sp | relationships | Me [19 M/F] with my ex-gf [20 F] 2 months together, wonder what she thinks of me now | Long story short, a girl I was super crazy in love with dumped me 6 months ago. Since then, I rebuilt myself. I've lost a lot of fat and gained a ton of muscles (people have told me that I look like Enrique Iglesias now) , I've grown 2-3 inches taller (I'm 19 by the way), dress better, got a new hair cut, I've made a lot of new friends, I'm actually way more popular now (I used to be super shy and insecure when we went out) , and I got my shit together and I'm getting good grades, and have a solid job. For some reason, I question what's going through her head now, if she saw me (or seen my pics on Facebook)? She dumped me because she didn't have time for a boyfriend, but started dating another guy 2 weeks later... It really broke my heart. I still wigh her the best though because I cared a lot about her at one point though... | used to be socially awkward and not really attractive, now I dress better, am more attractive, and outgoing. Wonder what my ex would think of me now... |
t3_2z5fvo | relationships | I [21/F] became good friends with a guy [21/M] in the span of a few weeks. He's been flirting with me, but has a GF [21/F] of 2 years. | We're both university students studying in the same field. I got to know him through our numerous mutual friends and we've hit it off pretty well. He's messaging me and snapchatting me all the time, we hang out and we tease each other a lot, especially because we've got the same sense of humor.
He's been getting flirty with me too. I'd really like the attention if it weren't for the fact that he's been in a two-year relationship with a girl from another campus. I heard from a few of our mutual friends that he's growing distant from her. I'm a believer in the idea that people can fall out of love, but I don't want to come across as a 'homewrecker' or something to other people.
I'm getting lunch with him this week and I want to figure out his true intentions: whether he actually wants to end things with his GF and if he just wants to fuck, or if he's actually interested in me. I usually enjoy casual sex but I've recently been wanting emotional intimacy too.
I also want to add that we were playing pool once and his GF called. He didn't bother responding. Also, he asked me if I planned on going to Formal at the end of the year and if anyone was taking me (with a winky emoticon). I wasn't sure about either question but it caught me off guard that he wanted to know.
I need advice for our meeting? If he doesn't talk to me about dating first then how do I bring up the topic to him? | Guy who has been flirting with me is distant from his girlfriend of two years. He's been dropping signals that he's interested in pursuing something with me. We're getting lunch and I want to talk to him about "us". |
t3_debkn | relationship_advice | Has it really come to this? | Hey /RA, you all have been of great help to me in the past so here I am again. This is a throwaway account btw. Here's the skinny:
I'm a single 29 year old male living in North Carolina. I'm a good guy, I'm decent looking, and I'm really easy to get along with. My problem is that I just can't find a girl that makes me happy and is accepting of the fact that I'm atheist. Since I've lived here (5 years) I've had one serious girlfriend who held the same beliefs as me and I truly thought she was the one, until she broke up with me that is.
Since then I've gone on countless dates with girls that either weren't interested in me or had a serious problem accepting the fact that I don't believe in a higher power. Honestly, the happiest I've been in a relationship in the past three years was when I dated a Thai girl who was visiting the US for 6 months. She could've cared less what my beliefs were and everything was great ... until she went back to Thailand. She didn't have any desire to stay in the US as all of her family was still in her hometown so there was just no way to make that work. I should also add that I dated a Chinese girl while I was living and working in China earlier this year and had the same experience - religion was simply not an issue. So what do I do Reddit? I'm seriously considering looking in other states or even overseas for a companion but I just don't know if that could work. I can't move out of NC for the foreseeable future but traveling to another state/country for a few weeks is not a problem. Do any of you know someone that's actually had success with finding an SO in another state/country online? Am I just completely out of my mind for even considering this? | Fed up with girls that can't accept that I'm an atheist and looking to find a partner in another state/country. |
t3_3jg9tq | relationships | I [20M] have dreaded hanging out with my family more and more every day. | Let me give back story, I live with my cousin and family friend in an apartment.
My family consists of my mom [51] and dad [48] my eldest sister [25] and her husband [23] my older sister [23] and her husband [24] me [20] and my younger sister [19].
My family has always been very close, and every Sunday and Wednesday we all hang out at my parents' house (due to church bringing us all together)
Most of what goes on these days are board games, lunch/dinner, and often a round of disc golf.
For a while I was all down for it, it was fun and I love my family so hanging out was great. But more and more every day I start hating it. Often when I consider staying home or hanging out with my family I really wish I could just stay home.
My family is very loud, and outgoing, and to some people probably very overwhelming. Board games and disc golf promote a very competitive environment which can be annoying sometimes. I'm not anti-competition but sometimes I don't wanna compete, I just want to relax.
However, declining an invitation to play a game or go for a round of disc golf is usually met with heckles and fun being made. Often times these visits just end up with me being annoyed and frustrated and just wanting to go home. So my 1st inclination is to just stay away.
But the last thing I would want to do is disappoint everyone by being a loner and just "stay at home and do nothing". I want to be a part of my family but often I can't stand being around them for extended periods or at all.
What
Do
I
Do? | I feel myself becoming more and more introverted and separated from my extremely extroverted family. But I don't want to disappoint any of them by staying home often. |
t3_4sp5hs | relationships | My love interest [22 F] is on the fence about getting into a relationship with me [22 M/F] due to passion vs. comfort. | I've been seeing this girl about a month before college ended, and we've known each other since the our first year of college. I considered her one of my good friends. At the end of college, we had a friends with benefits relationship until I started having feelings for her. We both had our summer vacations and trips, but now we'll be living around the same area as we begin our respective careers.
Last week, we talked about the potential relationship looming in my head. It's weird because while I would like for us to get into a relationship, she's confused about her desires, which in turn confuses me.
Because she's known me as a friend first, she feels comfortable around me, but it's not a fiery passion like her past relationships. However, she mentions that all of those relationships ended in a disaster, and she's confused as to if she should pursue this one. She's told me she's willing to give it a shot and work towards it. She's obviously interested in the relationship, but the factors holding her back.
I really like her, but I'm not sure if I should pursue a relationship with her feelings in mind. Maybe I'm afraid of getting hurt or wasting my time when I can have a stable friendship instead, as I move into the 8-5 work world. I'm unsure what to do and it is driving me crazy.
Is it worth my time if we're not a THE match? Should I even bother? My heart says go for it, but my brain is telling me to think about it, and my gut isn't responding. | My love interest is on the fence because her relationships in the past have all been passion driven, but I'm seen in more of a comfort light. I'm unsure if I should pursue a relationship. |
t3_2dv3na | relationships | My (20m) girlfriend (21f) wants to break up because she is emotionless. | I made the title less suspicious incase she does find out about reddit.
So background. We've been dating for 8 months now and she's been amazing. I love her to death. we have our occasion spats but we get along 95% of the time. lately she's been feeling numb and out of character. she feels like she should break up with me because it's not fair to me. She also wants to end things and work on her self but she knows that if she ends things we can't be in contact. it would cause us too much pain. She doesn't know what's wrong with her. I told her I'll be there for her and we can work this out together. she's told me that I'm a model bf. so what do I do. end things and lose the girl of my dreams for the rest of my life or do I fight together with her. | gf is numb and wants to break up because she thinks I deserve better and wants to be alone to work on herself. |
t3_2t5d20 | offmychest | It doesn't bother me anymore and I feel great!!! | I am a 22 year old male who is about to graduate college at the end of the year. Throughout my whole life, I had one girlfriend.....and it lasted a few weeks (wasn't that fruit-full). Besides that one girl, I have had no experience in any relationship what-so-ever. For many years it took over me, from middle school till last week; I was thinking something was wrong with me for not having any relationship experience. I know I'm not a social outcast or anything, but dating wasn't in my radar for most of my life.
Then I realized something, that one day someone special will come along for me and you, heck I might not even expect it, but I am keeping myself from worrying anymore. I need to focus more on who I am and making my own identity. Plus I'm still young and I got my whole life ahead of me; I'm moving soon to a fantastic area for my career in the coming years, I'll be doing what I love and be around people who have the same passion as I do. Who knows, I'll probably run into her there, but for now, I'm not going to let society worry me to death about being single :) | I used to worry about being single, but not anymore; I'm focusing on my own personal goals, rather than scoring a date. |
t3_17punb | dating_advice | I don't feel like i want this as much as i should | 24m, I want to have a relationship with someone, but so often i don't find other people attractive. It's maybe like 1-2% of all women that i see that i actually have the desire to be with. I also feel a lot of pressure to date from family and friends, but that pressure, and the thought that i'm in my mid twenties and never had a girlffriend or hooked up turns me off of the subject. So it's a vicious circle. I'm out of university, there aren't places lots of women are any more. I feel like i've somehow missed my chances, and my dating resume will prevent me from getting a date.
Any thoughts? | i have a lot of pressure from people to date, don't find many girls attractive, and the thought of all the awkwardness and effort puts me off to where i think i might just pass on dating altogether. |
t3_2zmrvr | tifu | TIFU by saying 'Hi' to my ex | This happened about an hour ago so i thought it would be a good first post.
So i got home from work and was browsing the net when i got a message on whats-app from lets call her Katrina saying 'Hi?'. Bare in mind that we had met last weekend to try and be friends which went horribly but that is another story.
So being the massive idiot i am i text 'Hi' back. I didn't really want to speak to her so i kept writing short replies to her questions and eventually Katrina asks 'Do you even like me anymore?' to which my reply is 'tbh i have had enough'. This is where everything goes to shit.
So Katrina starts having a go at me saying i put her through shit and she never knew why she went out with me and loads of shit like that and eventually it turned into threats. Katrina said 'You won't see me anymore and if you do i will beat the shit out of you and so will David' (David is not the real name of her new boyfriend).
So then i was sitting at home thinking it will never happen and i will not see them again and then i remember... i work in the town they live in. | Got a message from my ex, replied, got into an argument, now she and her new boyfriend want my guts. |
t3_2h68fv | running | Training while injured, help? | I'm a sophomore high school cross country athlete, by no means any good. In a race, my ankle began to hurt and after an X-ray and an MRI we figured out I have a stress reaction, which is basically a precursor to a stress fracture. I've been out for about a week and a half now, and I'm walking pain free, but according to the doctors I need to spend at least two more weeks without running. I'd love to be able to catch up once I come back in for the last two weeks of my season, since I left just as my (and my teammates) times were beginning to rise a **lot**. Does anyone have any good tips or exercises to me that could facilitate that? | I'm injured and I need advice on how to properly stay in shape so I can come back not too far behind. |
t3_2ofqnj | relationship_advice | GF (32/F) wants to get married with me (28/M) after 1 week of dating. | So I met this girl who was on a business trip from another country (taiwan). We hooked up soon after meeting. 1 week later and also a few days before she needs to return to her country she asked me if I wanted to get married.
I love her a lot, but then again I'm kind of a schmosby kind of guy. I can see myself being with her for the rest of my life as I feel very much myself around her.
She has only had 3 boyfriends. First was long distance, second was a 7 year relationship that ended when the guy proposed to her and she rejected him. I asked her why she did that and she herself doesn't really understand and just say perhaps there was something missing in their relationship.
I will say I am skeptical if she just wants to get married to immigrate to the US, but I've heard taiwanese people don't really care for such things as much as mainland chinese.
In the end I told her we should wait and see after keeping in contact for 6 months. I do see marrying her as a way for her to come here as well and would gladly accept to do so. | Hooked up with foreign girl and after 1 week she wants to get married. She's now back in her home country, and I'm giving this relationship 6 months before I decide what to do. |
t3_4fa6z5 | relationships | My exgirlfriend (F20) wants me back because she realized leaving me (M20) was a huge mistake | Her and I dated for almost a year and we fighted a lot. It was a normal relationship with its ups and downs. We had a great time with each other but toward the end it got messy. We both started distancing ourselves from each other and we eventually agreed that a breakup was nessesary. After we broke up she started seeing another guy and the started messing around. They had a lot of sex and whatnot then they started dating. I hooked up with my friend but nothing else came of it and it wad the end of that. A few days ago she called me up and she said that she couldn't be with this new guy anymore because there was no spark, she wanted me back.
I met up with her and I told her that I would consider getting back together with her but I wanted to know that she'd change for the better. She had problems in our last relationship. She lied more often than she should have. She swears she never cheated on me and I know she didn't, and she was always sketchy about who she was texting.
I told her that we should hangout over the summer and see if we felt the same feelings like before and maybe if it wasn't going to work out, then we wouldn't date. She agreed and we are going to try agian at our relationship. In my opinion, its worth a chanve. I told her that im not f'ing around with her agian and that im serious. I also told her that i wouldnt be afriad to leave her and that its in her hands to change for the better.
I just wanted to share my situation with someone else. | Trying to kinder a relationship with my ex who realized she fucked up by leaving me. Working things out together. I really feel like she wants to change |
t3_2h0y0a | tifu | Tifu by puking on the train on a girl I like. | So last night I was having pre drinks with this girl I like before heading out nightclubbing. It was going well and I was really excited to go out. I was dressed up, make up perfect, bits shaved ready for a night of partying and hopefully getting laid.
Made plans to meet at my fave club with my best friend who I haven't seen in a month and I was missing her so badly. Then I fell asleep on this girl I was with when we were catching a train into the city. Woke up and puked in my hands, we had to get off the train and I puked fucking everywhere, it was horrible. We take the train back home and she puts me to bed and then catches a taxi to a guy she's seeing while I puke in the toilet. | Drank too many pre drinks, pucked in hands on the train and had to go home. Ruined the night and lost all chances with the girl I like. |
t3_25b6v2 | relationships | Update: My boyfriend[22M] of 1.5 yrs impulsively broke up with me [23F] the other night. Need advice | Original:
Still taking things pretty hard. He doesnt want to talk to me. Its really weird going from seeing someone everyday and them being your best friend to not having them there at all, which has been the worst part (there were no warning signs either). I don't want him gone from my life. I've been in therapy for the last several months, so I've been trying to deal with it there. Recently I've started experiencing auditory hallucinations for the first time. I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't stop crying either especially since yesterday was supposed to be moving day for us. I don't know how to cope. My roommate looks at me like I'm crazy for being upset and I should just be over it.
Does anyone have any advice on coping? | Having a really hard time coping with the impulsive break up. Thing thats getting to me the most is that he was my best friend. Started having auditory hallucinations. How do I cope? |
t3_txezo | AskReddit | Google / Facebook: Stop selling data, start selling honest products to your users | I like communicating through social networks, it's the way our generation communicates. I love to share things and I love to use high end products on the web.
What I don't like is that services like Facebook and Google, which have probably the most advanced products on the market treat their users like shit. They're breaking amendments(e.g. Like Button), they're dishonest and they sell your deepest secrets to anyone who pays enough.
I deleted my Facebook 1 year ago, but I still have the need to communicate (job/private) through social networks. Since there aren't many alternatives to Facebook (basically they have a monopole) I'm forced to use them and I want to use them because their product is amazing. Same with Google, I use quite a lot of their services and I'm very happy with them, but I just don't like that they are selling my data to who knows whom.
**MY REQUEST**
Offer Premium services. I am willing to pay e.g. 5€/$ per month to get the certainty that my data will be only used to improve my personal experience of the products.
I want to have insight on all the data that is being collected on me and I want full control over it(delete what ever you want/disable data collection).
People that don't want/can't pay 5/month will still be able to use the service, but under the circumstance that their data will be sold for advertisement purposes.
I don't know how much they make of selling my usage data to advertisers, but I can't imagine that they will go bankrupt by offering honest services.
**What does Reddit think, would you be willing to pay for Facebook/Google? | Make social networks social. Offer premium service for x $/Month and give premium users full control over the data being collected on them. |
t3_35ggxv | relationships | Me (F21) telling my bf (21) I kinda liked a girl, he said I should go ahead and kiss her if I feel like. Should I be worry cuz he is so easy going about it? LDR | So that's pretty much it, I wonder if no jealousy at all is actually good. We're about 10,000 km away, we're together for one year already. A bit of background, I kissed and make out with a guy before, I told my bf and we had discussion that ended all good, clear and no bad feelings, we talked about being with someone else but we decided not to do it at the end.
I met a girl I felt very attracted to, told my bf and he said he wants me to enjoy myself, and is all fine cuz she is a girl and I'm not lesbian. I am not indeed, I'm just very attracted and I always wanted to see how it is, and also have a threesome if possible.
I love my and he knows it and he loves me too, I just worry cuz maybe this could also be that he doesn't care. I asked and he said he does care but he wants me happy. Should I just believe it and let it go? | boyfriend is not jealous at all, he says he loves me and I should not worry cuz we're fine but I worry still |
t3_4xf7e2 | personalfinance | Should I take out unsubsidized federal student loans if I don't HAVE to? | Hello pf, I start college soon and from the estimates I've made so far my scholarships and grants pay for enough my tuition, housing, and insurance for this semester to leave ~2000 dollars left to loans and cash.
My financial package for this semester offers:
$1750 federal subsidized loan
$1000 federal unsubsidized loan
both with interest rates of 3.76% according to [this link] at least
I currently have 3000 in the bank, and if everything goes smoothly over the next week I will have 4000 saved up.
Currently I was thinking that I would take out the full subsidized loan because the interest is paid while I'm in school and the amount is relatively little and pay for the rest in my cash. I will also have to pay for books this semester, however I estimate my book cost will only be about 150-200 dollars at most if I can't find any free options online. This leaves me with about 300-500 dollars of expenses to pay for out of pocket for this semester out of my 3000-4000 I have in the bank.
I was wondering, however, what pf would think of also taking out the 1000 unsub loan as well since it is a very low interest rate and would help keep me flexible in case shit hits the fan throughout the semester, as I will have money in the bank if I need it. My dad has agreed to pay for my food costs, as I will be doing my own cooking, but that could change and I like knowing that I have a cushion in the bank. Also this is my first semester in college, so I have no idea what other unforeseen expenses I may have to pay for. | should I take out unsubsidized federal loans at 3.76% interest and keep my cash in the bank, or should I just dip into my savings and pay for it out of pocket? |
t3_nj8f0 | GetMotivated | My New Project | I've been reading this subreddit for some time now, looking at all of the motivated wolves ready to kick some ass and take some names. I hope every single one of them succeeds, but I can't help but wonder if they will really accomplish what they set out to do. We've all been here: so motivated from an awesome speech, movie, quote, book, etc. but, we lose sight of the goal and slack off until another motivational reddit post fires up our hearts again. What I see here is a vicious cycle of highs and lows. I'm starting a new "project" to see if I can successfully get out of this cycle of, let's face it, procrastination and shame.
Moments ago, I created a reddit account, so I can let all of you wolves know that there is someone trying to find the secret. I'm on no motivational "high," I'm simply level-headed at the moment. Any informational/motivational books, videos, etc. that I come across that help me reach this goal I will share.
My plan is to create a journal and log my achievements, my failures (and how I got through them), and my emotions at all of the times. I don't know if everyone does this, and I hope this isn't a cliche that every new wolf decides that they'll do. I'm not successful in almost any way right now: with girls, money, college, band, friends, leadership, family, and many more. I want to be successful, and I want to show how (hopefully) a successful person did what he did. I will not stop. I will not quit. I will not leave out details (aside from names and personal information). IF it works, this will be how an "every day normal guy" found his own way to success.
I'll probably post the project on a blog once I've written enough, unless there's some tool on reddit that I don't know about. The finished product can take months or years to really notice improvement, and it might not ever end. I'm new to reddit so be understanding. | I'm going to work as hard as a I can at everything that I do, document it, and see if I can become successful. If I do, all of my resources will be **yours**. |
t3_3kmdzc | tifu | TIFU by trying to save a cat from traffic | This happened a few hours ago, but I keep replaying the events over and over in my mind. I was coming home from a long day of work when I see black cat, laying in the highway moving ever so slightly. Being the animal lover I am, I quickly turned on my emergency blinkers and pulled up next to it, blocking traffic. I stumbled out of my car, rushing to the aid of the wounded animal. I soon realized this wasnt a cat... It wasn't animal at all... It was a black handbag. I walked quickly, trying to ignore the honks of the agrivated drivers whom I shared the road with. I could feel their glares burning deep into my soul. | Saw a injured cat twitching in the middle of the road, pulled up to save it only to find it was a black handbag moving in the wind... |
t3_15nlmn | relationship_advice | I (18/f) think I might have ended our (19/m) conversation poorly. | We have been together for about a month now, but we have known each other since we were fifteen and dated for about a year in hs. Our feelings for each other have never gone away and we have continued to text each other. Now we are both in college and relatively close (approx 80 mi), and have decided to take one last shot at it. We said from the beginning that if things don't work this time, we are absolutely never going to try again.
The problem is, my family moved after my graduation, to a different state, and he is now realizing how hard it is going to be for us to see each other. We haven't talked for a bit besides texting, and I thought maybe it was because he's sick/with family or the combination. We called today and talked, and I finally asked what I had wanted to: Do you think we're going to work? He said he wasn't sure (which I was hoping for him to say; I think it's good he realizes this). But then he continued about how he doesn't like calling or Skyping because he knows that we can't see each other for a while, and because he says he wants to be with me all the time but he knows he can't. A lot was covered in the call, including that he's "a pessimist, it's always going to be like this," etc. and that he generally thinks nothing good will come of his life and he is unhappy. No matter what I tried, he countered it. The basis of our conversation focused on: we can work with what we have and continue as we are, or we can break up. I kinda broke down and ended the call with, "Call me when you're ready to believe in yourself."
I'm freaking out. I want to cry, but can't. I only eat so my family won't worry, but my mom and one of my brothers can already see that something is wrong, and they can probably guess what it is. I want to call him back or at least send a text, but I have no idea what move to take. Any advice? | Had a fight with my bf, I think he may never call back if he adheres to "Call me when you're ready to believe in yourself." What should I do? |
t3_1gdc1p | relationships | Is this settling? 27m 22f | So my girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years now, and I'm thinking about popping the question. She is a great person, is pretty, has similar life goals and aspirations, and similar values.
The trouble is I've always thought of myself as more of a non traditional kind of guy. I legitimately have qualms with the institution of marriage, the enshrinement of monogamy, and a super vanilla sex life. I don't know if I'm talking about getting married because it's the expected thing for me to do, because I've grown incredibly attached to her and don't want to lose her, or if I'm just resigning my rebel card for something dependable.
She is a great girl, a fantastic cook, fun to be around, pretty, and extremely friendly. She's also unhealthy in her eating and exercise habits (which is partially due to medical issues), isn't in the same place as me career or interest wise, and is boring in bed. I do love her a great deal, but don't know of this is what I should be doing.
I also could just be nitpicking about what is by all counts the best relationship I've ever had with a good woman who loves me. | I don't know if I'm settling down for the best option available currently, or just being extremely picky and should be happy with a good woman. |
t3_1mw8r7 | relationships | Me 20f him 28m I'm confused about me and him | So me and let's say k have been fwb for almost two years now and when we first started I got an actual bf and he was fine with it but now he's not I broke up with my ex a little over 5 months ago and I told my fwb that I was gonna start looking for a bf. Well let's just say he tried to stop me from looking for one in an off set way and I could tell he didn't overly like the thought of me being with another guy even though me and k are still just fwb.
Let's fast forward to a few days ago me and him were texting back and forth when I suddenly just says that he really really likes me and that It pretty much makes him jealous when I'm with another guy. After he said that I started to connect the dots I guess I noticed a while ago he started calling names that you usually use for a bf or gf.
But now I am extremely confused as to what to do next about all this. | my fwb of almost two years says he has really strong feelings for me its kinda left me confused and not sure what to do |
t3_mi32c | AskReddit | Can anyone give me a good reason why music should continue as an industry today? | I know the music industry wants itself to continue, obviously, so they can still make their money, but I'm wondering about its actual benefits to anyone else. I've believed for a while now that we'd be better off without labels and the sort; they had their purpose before, but now with the availability of recording gear and software along with the Internet for artists to promote themselves, why do we need this conglomeration of suits and ties who take cuts from everything the artists do?
When I played music, I didn't care about making money off of it. On the road, I needed a few bucks here and there for peanut butter sandwiches, but little would make me happier than for someone to want to listen to my music, even if that meant they went home and pirated it. | Why do we need a music industry for good music to exist and be available? Shouldn't an art form be driven by the artists who are doing it for passion and not profit? Discuss! |
t3_1jhxfb | dating_advice | Interracial Dating - Meeting her Parents | I am a Chinese born Canadian, she is a Ukrainian/Scandinavian Canadian. We met through a mutual friend, and have it hit off real well. We are at the point of our relationship where we'd like to introduce each other to our parents, somewhat looking for their blessing to advance the relationship to the next stage.
For the most part, she has been pressing the relationship forward - and wanted me to meet her parents. I have no issues with that and am actually looking forward to it. However, she had indicated that her parents have a preference for a Caucasian match for her - she has yellow fever and is not into Caucasians at all - but she see is a tad worried about her parent's opinion still. I am indifferent because I've dated all races, and my parents are indifferent as well.
Is there any advice in terms of how I may be able to overcome her parent's racial biases - or, lead the conversations down a path which takes the focus and emphasis on this particular subject?
Would love to get feedback on this one. Thank you. | I am Chinese guy dating a Caucasian girl, meeting her parents that have a bias in favor of Caucasian men - how to win. |
t3_3ateou | relationships | I want a break up. Don't know how to do it | For mine and her privacy I'm not going to reveal ages or anything.
Some background information -
- We're both homosexuals.
- Relationship has been going for around 2 months now
- We were best friends before the relationship
- Our relationship is a secret because she doesn't want to come out
Basically, I want to break up with this girl. My reasons being is that I never actually see her. I work during the weekends and we both had exams a few weeks ago. I only met her twice in the past 3 weeks. Whenever I ask her to hang out she's either busy revising, with her family or hanging out with other friends
I had an argument with her about her hanging out with an ex and she told me she didn't want to be with them anymore and that she was only friends with him (I got upset because I hadn't seen her in days and she told me she was busy when I caught her in town with him)
Yesterday she messaged me asking to meet up with her and I said "sure, whenever I guess, I'm free all week" she took my message the wrong way and told me that if i didn't want to meet then it's fine. I told her I didn't mean it like that and asked her to meet me today, she then said she was busy all day today and tomorrow. By this point I just want to end it because it doesn't feel like a relationship anymore.
Prom is in 10 days and I'm sitting with her at prom with her friends (not mine) which makes this 10 times harder to do
How do I break up with her? and how do I do it when we rarely meet up? | I want a break up. doesn't feel like a relationship anymore, I want a relationship where I'm not feeling like a second choice. How do I do it? |
t3_2jui5i | tifu | TIFU by making a website. | I have been bored for the last little while, so I made a website. It took a while to learn about and finally publish. The one thing I didn't learn about, was Whois.com. This website, takes info from your website (including your home address, and Phone number) and makes it public. While it got over 1,500 upvotes on /r/montageparodies, people in the comments had made their way to Whois.com, and were calling me by my full name, and telling me that everyone could see my contact info. So, that was a thing. Today, I spent a bunch of time re-making it, and making sure Whois.com doesn't know a thing. Currently Whois.com thinks the website is owned by "Noneofyobuisness CrazyFool" Who lives at "1800 Street Street." | I made a website, posted it on reddit, it got over 1,500 upvotes, and for 12 hours, all of my personal info was available to everyone. |
t3_z6z31 | relationship_advice | [24/M] Need advice on (24/F) who is giving me mixed signals. | Throwaway account.
[Aug 2011]
It all started when i meet Jane at a friend's birthday party last year. We felt an instant connection and mutual attraction, two weeks after she asked me on a date (yay for girls who take initiative). Fast forward a couple of months and everything was going OK, we hanged out on a weekly basis and talked on the phone of IM almost daily.
[April 2012]
Everything was going just fine until her birthday, she invited a bunch of friend to a local pub and she just ignored me all night, we didn't talk at all that night.
Then a friend of her started to talk to me (i don't remember her name, i never saw her again, sorry). She told me how much Jane talks about me and how much she likes me and it was odd she wasn't paying any attention to me that night. Somehow that made me feel a little better.
After than night Jane declined every single one of my invitations, at first she always made up any excuse (work, study, etc. you name it) and then she just ignored my texts and phone calls. I even invited her to my birthday party and she didn't even bothered telling me she wouldn't come.
I just rationalized that she just doesn't like me anymore, i was really heartbroken at the time and i felt like i couldn't do anything about it.
[Aug 2012]
Fast forward to my friend's birthday party this year (one year after i meet Jane) and we talked again for the first time in almost half a year, she complained to our friends that i don't invite her anymore, that i don't talk to her anymore and that I just ignored her after her birthday party. After my friend's party i asked her out again... just to be rejected at least 4 more times during the past month. | Meet a nice girl and dated for a couple of months, she ignored me for a long time and a year later she complained about me not calling her anymore and "breaking up" without telling her. |
t3_fw6qj | AskReddit | One of my friends ( A girl) is being harassed at school, and is now being forced to take online classes at home to avoid the harassment. What can i do to get those involved suspended? (Again) | The girls have already been suspended once. I have no physical proof of their harassment. I managed to get them suspended the first time because I hard very hard evidence of the harassment. (Facebook screen-shots of a chat i had with one of the girls detailing what they were doing to her, and why they were doing) Still not all the girls were involved were suspended. ( I have personally looked into the level of suspension these girls should get, and it should be 10 days at the minimum+criminal charges for harassment, and cyber bullying) I will not go into any detail of the type of harassment they were perpetrating the first time, because i want my friend to have anonymity in this situation (i know a few people at my high school browse reddit). What i can say is that as a result of this harassment the girl is scared of coming to school because the harassment is getting so bad, and she and i both know we cant go to the school principal/administrators because they will not do anything. Reddit what im asking you is either ideas to obtain more proof that the girls are verbally harassing the girl, or anyone that knows if the school administrators can actually do anything without hard proof. | my friend is scared to come to school because she is being harassed, and is now being forced to take online classes in the safety of her own home. What can i do to help her? |
t3_vt5r3 | personalfinance | I want to invest like I couch potato but I want more risk than a 60/40 split. What should my asset allocation be? (CA) | I'm going to open up an account to purchase TD e-series funds as advocated by the [Canadian Couch Potato] I'll be doing something like the global couch potato option 2. I am very young and this will be retirement savings so I'm comfortable taking on more risk than the model portfolio suggests. I was thinking about going ~85-100% equities for now and slowly move to more bonds over time.
I would like to learn about the implications of choosing different asset allocations, specifically US vs international vs canadian equities as opposed to fixed income vs equities. I understand the big picture stuff (stocks may give higher returns but are far more volatile, the US and international funds are larger and more diversified than the Canadian fund etc.), but I don't understand how I should modify the model portfolio for more risk. eg would a 100% equities portfolio be 1/3 each to Canadian, International and US equities or should it be something more like 25% Canadian, 40% american and 35% international? Obviously there are a lot of options and I would like to understand why I might want more US, or more Canadian or more International. | How do I modify the [Global Couch Potato] portfolio from 60/40 equities/fixed income to 100% equities? |
t3_1l6srt | tifu | TIFU by not knowing my password | This actually happened right after I finished building my PC last year. Any ways I had gotten windows all installed and set up. All I needed to do now was log on to install whatever program I wanted on there and I would be totally done. However when I went to log on my usual password didn't work. So I kept trying. Somehow I guess when I set my password I hit the wrong key in the same way both when I set the password and when I confirmed it. Most likley my PW was completley right except one random letter was wrong and I had no clue what it might be. Since i had never even logged on there was no way I could get my PW back without some major hax. So basically that entire night of setting up windows was wasted and I had to do it again the next day. | When setting my password for windows I managed to put the same typo in both fields and had to reinstall becaus I didn't know what the typo was. |
t3_24nd7h | relationships | I [20 F] feel totally unappreciated by my boyfriend [22 M] of four years, and am feeling as though the relationship has run its course. | Hey r/relationships,
First time poster, sorry if I'm doing anything wrong.
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over four years, and spent a lot of time apart while we were both working on college stuff. We've been living together for the past year and I've never felt worse about our relationship. I feel like I don't know the cause behind this downward spiral either.
Basically, we wake up early in the morning, are apart from each other all day while working and going to class (he's a senior and I'm a sophomore at our university), and then we carpool home around 6:00. We usually eat together but after that he's on his computer for the rest of the night. I constantly feel like I'm bothering him when I ask if he wants to hang out or have sex.
His libido has really dropped to the point where we have sex maybe three times a week, when I've tried to convey that I'd want to every day.
I feel like I cater to his needs while he is totally dismissing mine. I make almost all of his meals, I clean the space that we're renting, I take care of our pets, and he doesn't lift a finger unless I literally beg.
I hate talking about him like this because I feel that we never had these problems before. I just wonder if I should get out of this and find someone that maybe appreciates me or is willing to talk to me and have a closer relationship. I'm currently in therapy trying to work on anxiety and depression, and he doesn't seem to get that a little love would be great right about now.
Has anyone been through this before? Any advice to offer? Thanks in advance for any replies. | Boyfriend of four years doesn't really communicate much verbally, and his libido has plummeted. Unsure if it's time to split. |
t3_38tipv | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [52M] of 6 months. do i have daddyissues? | I'm dating and sleeping with a man 28 years older than me, no one knows, because honestly I fear their initial reaction. I'm 24 and he's 52. Ive been through a lot which has made me more mature, more mature than the average 24 year old i'd say. My dad died when I was 17, very sudden, and that left scars and a lot of unanswered questions. My mum is there but not supportive emotionally, though she would support me financially if needed ( just to mention my background) I'm a student at uni, finishing my degree in a year. I have my own flat, a job, and i'm generally doing fine. I met this man at my local favorite bookshop, and we exchanged emails as we seemed to have chemistry. Well yeah we did! But now I feel as if society is against us, we refrain from kissing and hugging when we're out and even when we're alone I feel sort of dirty, as if I have daddyissues or i'm just seeing him because I didnt have my dad or something like that. It bothers me because I dont feel like i'm "damaged" or even have daddyissues, but I Think that's what other people are thinking when we're out. That he's just an old pig and i'm armcandy. He's not rich though, leads a normal life and all that.
I just need some advice. Should I look deeper into why i'm with this man, or just accept the fact that he's older and that that has nothing to do with any "issues" of his or mine.
Reddit, help a girl out! | I want to know if it's normal to feel dirty and whorish for sleeping with an older guy. Do i have issues? |
t3_4ytv78 | relationships | Me (19F) with bf (22M) of over 2 years. Life is a mess now. | So basically we've been together 2 years. I love him so much & really care for him more than anyone else.
Thing is I feel like things between us don't feel the same anymore. I've been through a lot in the past few months with a very close bereavement in my family & im finding it hard to deal with. I find myself lashing out at my boyfriend & being horrible when he's nothing but amazing & supportive towards me.
We talk every single day & see each other nearly every single day. I know not everything is going to be rosy & feel amazing forever. Thing is I don't want to break up with him but I don't know how I feel about anything anymore, my life is just a mess & I miss my dad so so so so much. Should we take a break or work through it?
I want to know how to move forward preferably with him. I want things to be fresh again and fun.
**bold | my life is a mess now, want to be happy again within myself. Want to make things with bf okay again. |
t3_svhni | relationship_advice | I need to do something cool for my girlfriend, but I don't know what... help me please, reddit! | So, long story short, last week I had a huge fight with my then girlfriend, I behaved like an asshole and reacted in a way I shouldn't have, we broke up; afterwards, we have been talking again, I'm trying to change some of my shitty attitudes towards her and people in general, and she told me she is willing to take me back.
The problem here is that she says I never really made an effort to be with her, so in order for us to get back together I've gotta do something cool for her... in her words she told me: "She won't take me back unless I show her I'm willing to do a real effort to be with her, and that I should think outside of my box and go out of my way, as she is not easily impressed". Now, I know in this context this might sound like a stupid demand of hers, but it actually makes sense as I never made any real effort and she wants to see me try and do something cool for her.
I've asked for a lot of female advice and most people say stuff like I should cook for her, or give her a massage or stuff like that, but I don't think that's really demanding or challenging, I wanna do something that's really cool and meaningful, not necessarily flashy or ultra expensive, but to create an amazing experience for her... I come here to ask for ideas about what to do in order for her to have a nice surprise when we finally start dating again. | broke up with girlfriend, she's willing to take me back but I gotta do something cool and special for her in order to show her I'm willing to work on our relationship. Give me ideas. |
t3_fvyd0 | AskReddit | Weird charges on gift card, can't find anyone to help resolve this... advice, please? | So I've been using Vanilla Visa and other such gift cards for a while online, because I've been paranoid about fraudulent charges on credit cards. Had those fears affirmed lately, though maybe if it were a credit card I'd have more recourse.
Bought some stuff, and was checking my balance to see how many mp3s I could get with the remainder when I notice two weird charges, pending for 75 cents and one dollar respectively, but I'm worried that they might ask for more, and then what?
I call Vanilla Visa cards to see what is going on, and I'm told I have to contact the companies making the claims. Here are the charges in question:
The first, the 75 cent charge, is from a construction company in Druid Hills, Texas who I can't find on Google, and they gave no phone number. According to Wikipedia, there are places called Druid Hills in Georgia and Kentucky, but not Texas.
The next, the $1 charge, is from AT&T. I call them up, and am asked which number I'm calling about before I can go any further. I am not an AT&T customer. I go to their website and see if I can e-mail them about this, but yeah customer support is for customers only.
I shouldn't worry too much, all they should be able to take is the remaining balance of less than $5 anyway. But if these fraudulent charges are connected to my identity and they come knocking, what then? | Some weird charges popped up on a gift card I was using, and am hoping for answers. I might cross-post this to r/wtf. |
t3_26xwnx | relationships | Me [23F] don't know what to do about my [29M] ultimatum | I'm not sure what to do with my life right now. Here's the situation:
I live with my boyfriend, we've been together for 1.5 years.
I have always been madly in love with him. It began dwindling when he started playing video games. He's a lifestyle gamer and I think I was lying to myself when we first started dating, thinking it would just phase out. Eventually, I became emotionally distant. I have my own good friends now.
Anyway, I went to a conference in New York and met someone. I ended up hooking up with him and have still been texting him once in a while back home. I thought it was going to be a one night stand that would never be talked about again, but now that we're still talking... it feels a lot more real.
My boyfriend found out about it after looking through my phone. He has basically held a gun to my head, saying if I don't message him and tell him I have a boyfriend then he's going to leave me.
I'm not sure if I should do it and stay with my boyfriend, or not and break up with my boyfriend. | Felt emotionally distant to my boyfriend because of his gamer lifestyle, hooked up with someone else at a conference, boyfriend snooped and found out, is now making me decide! What should I do? |
t3_ijrz3 | AskReddit | What are your wildest drinking/partying experiences from college? | Last year during Spring Weekend at my school, the administration sponsored a big foam party, where two large machines would generate foam and spew it into bounce houses for all the kiddies to jump in.
The line for this event was enormous, and it was supposed to be split into two (those who had purchased tickets beforehand and those who had not). Anyway, the gig was supposed to open at 10 pm, but the machines weren't working and they had to delay entry. All the people in the line were screaming "LET US IN" and I can say that at least half of them were either drunk or high. Eventually, the huge mob nearly broke out into a stampede, pushing through the barricade and racing towards the foam machines. Because the green is on an incline, hundreds of kids raced down the steps, many of them falling down and tumbling on the way. They had to bring in the cops. | Crazy crowd in line for foam party goes out of control, bypass security and race towards foam in a drunken stampede. |
t3_21wfr4 | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend[26F] two months, apriljoke, she didn't find it funny | I am on a language stay in the US(sorry for possibly wrong sentences). A Month before I went, I got known her. Now I'm almost five weeks abroad.
On the first of April I texted her that I will break up. For me totally obvious as a joke. Because we used to skype and text a lot, while I always mentioned that I miss her, I thought that she'll get the joke immediately. I mean I really feel love and I use to show it. Actually I didn't thought about the consequences that much. But now I'm bothering above myself, how stupid was that. There would be several other topics for an apriljoke.
After that she wanted to skype. We made up and talked about it. But I have still a guilty conscience. | I did a crack with feelings at first April, but without bad faith. Is there any possiblity for a compensation? |
t3_54yarp | relationships | I [22/F] am leaving my SO [23/M] to go back home. | I'm not wanting advice about the relationship, because it was one of the best I've had.
We've been dating for over a year. 2 months ago, I moved 3,000km away to be with him and I just can't handle being so far from my family. The way of life here is very different for someone like me (small town, farm girl, language barrier), so I have decided to move back home. It's killing me but I'm literally miserable here. He does not want to do long-distance.
He understands and is helping me pack and I'm leaving on good terms, but I'm so heartbroken it hurts and I have to drive all the way back by myself.
Is there anything I can do to make the trip easier on me? I won't be driving at night, I'll just be sleeping in my car. There's a lot of beautiful scenery but I'm also a bit scared being alone in areas with no reception.
I'm sorry if there isn't enough information or if this is all over the place. I'm really torn up. I've never had a relationship end like this. | SO and I broke up because long-distance is a deal breaker for him, driving 3,000km back to my hometown. Need advice on how to handle the drive and being alone and getting past this kind of breakup. |
t3_4rbojq | relationships | Me [26 F] with my lover [40 M], 6 months, I am the other woman: Do I tell his wife? | I am the other woman. I have been for 6 months now. A few days ago he had a child with his wife. This came as a surprise to me, he told me the day she was born. I'm shocked and I'm pissed. I was under the impression that he was getting a divorce. He never wanted kids.
The backstory is lengthy. He is a lecturer at the university I attend. I am a graduate student. After a year of enjoying each other's company professionally, we fell into a deep and passionate relationship. Although the situation sounds cliché, I want to say it's different. He has had issues with his wife, this is known by many. We click, if the situation were more amenable, we would be together. This being said, he has been hiding the pregnancy of his wife from me for the time we have been together - he didn't want to give up the opportunity to be with me.
Since I am angry, of course I want to reciprocate the pain. I want to tell her about our relationship. I want her to know about me and I want him to suffer the consequences. I'm aware that this isn't a fantastic reason, but is this really a bad idea? If I do tell her, what should I say/how should I do it? | I need advice on whether or not I should tell his wife about our affair. If so, how should I do it? |
t3_2vv8yz | relationships | Husband constantly ignores important holidays. | Me (27F) He (25M) married 4 years
So guys, it's valentines, I should be inundated with cheesy, cliche romance. (Haha, I'm being facetious) Yet I'm crying myself to sleep again.
My husband is the worst with holidays. Not just hallmark days but our anniversary, my birthday etc.
At first I thought he was clueless, so I would tell him explicitly what I wanted and remind him of the date. I never want anything big or expensive, just "let's go out as a family, maybe grab some lunch."
He always sounds keen, we talk plans then on the day he will magically be inundate with work that absolutely must get done this Instant, or act shocked that I was serious about doing something. My last birthday I had to buy my own gift cake and dinner.
Every time I obviously get upset, then he gets huffy that i am upset and begrudgingly tries to fix it. Not because he thinks he fucked up, but because I'm all mad at him. Eg my birthday, 2 months later I get a gift.
I know holidays like V day are silly but I think it's important to take that time to stop and appreciate each other. I got him a bunch of his favourite treats, cooked him dinner and didn't even get any acknowledgement.
I just am so tired of getting my hopes up only to spend the entire holiday feeling worthless while everywhere I look is a reminder of how little my husband gives a shit.
What is the best way to talk to him about this? It isn't the holidays themselves, it's more his behaviour of getting my hopes up, dashing them that morning then getting mad that I'm upset. | husband raises and dashes my hopes every holiday/ birthday. Feel unimportant to him and need to have a "come to Jesus". Help? |
t3_2m5cnb | relationships | I am a 18 M and my mom has trained me to be afraid of dating. | What I mean is, throughout my high school years I had various "relationships" but they were always hidden because if my mom. She is the stereotypical "helicopter mom" and has always been way to scared for me to get my feet wet so to say. If she knew I was seeing someone she would go out of her way to "show up" or embarrass me in a attempt to kill the relationship. She has done this to me dozens of times and has made me afraid to tell her anything. Just her whole persona about small relationships, even those that were completely non-sexual, is that they should be avoided. To add insult to injury she makes sly remarks and teases about whether or not I may be "into someone" and continues to gaslight me about the matter. Its not right and I feel broken when it comes to the topic and am afraid to talk about dating. I feel guilty having feelings for people and I am incredibly lonely and awkward when it comes to talking to people. She always told me she wished for a gay son and that she doesn't want me to "get hurt". I don't see the situation getting better because I'm still at home for college since the university is just around the corner but I am financially stuck here until I graduate. I have definite self esteem issues when it comes to this even though I am in decent shape, naturally strong as an ox, and a good student. I'm not sure what to do to be honest and I feel mentally trapped by these guidelines that were shoved down my throat since I was 14. College is supposed to be awesome but when I'm out of the house I feel like I'm doing something "wrong" and clam up. What should I do? | The way my mom egged me on and purposely destroyed my high school relationships are now carved into my mind and I have a pathological fear of dating. |
t3_1w9c3r | relationships | How could she [19 F] get over me [21 M] so quickly? How can I be happy without her? | I just got out of a 16 month relationship at the beginning of December. I had never shared so much of my life with anybody until she came along, and we were essentially inseparable since we met. We literally shared the same bed every night and shared every day together (other than the summer, we live in different states outside of college). She told me so many times that I was her best friend, her favorite person, and that she had never loved anyone the way she loved me.
Well fast forward to this past fall semester of college and she began acting more selfish, was snappier, and seemed to take me for granted. It caused me so much stress, anxiety, depression, and numerous nights of lost sleep. I still made every sacrifice possible, but she still acted bitter and unfair to me. I couldn't help but remember the sweet, gorgeous girl I fell in love with, so I did anything to try and make her happy again.
Throughout the last, oh, 6 months of our relationship I had this sense that she was hooking up with her ex. She said that he was just her "best friend" and that I had nothing to worry about. Well today I see on Facebook that she's in a fucking relationship with this ugly motherfucker.
I put so much energy into this relationship and I honestly thought I found the love of my life. I'm so used to thinking about her, talking to her, texting her, sharing everything with her. I know she's a terrible person, a liar, and a conniving twat, but I can't let go of the amazing feeling I had once had from being with her. How do I get this awful bitch out of my head? | She left me and is now back with her ex (who I had suspected that she had been cheating on me with). How can I get this psychotic bitch out of my head? |
t3_2pq6ge | loseit | [SV] How my journey started & first goal achieved | My journey started on a Saturday night in a Kebab shop.
A very drunk man was talking to some of the patrons. I was so anxious that he would talk to me, I could feel the panic setting in. I made my way to the furthest corner of the shop silently praying he would not talk to me. Thankfully he didn't and on the car ride home I say to my SO:
me: "wow, my social anxiety is just getting worse and worse. I would have had a panic attack if he had spoken to me"
so: (staring straight ahead) "maybe your anxiety is getting worse because you're not, uh, comfortable in your body anymore..."
me: "What? (*disbelief*) No way! It's because that drunk guy was going to talk to me. I don't want strangers talking to me...!"
We are silent on the car road home and I have suddenly realised that he is right. My social anxiety has proportionately worsened as my weight has gone up and up. I vow to myself that I am going to make a change and so I start just tracking my calories, a month later I start c25k...
And today I have lost 22lbs with a further 44lbs to go! I am so stoked and so pleased I have started to make a change for the better. My social anxiety has decreased tenfold and I know that I wouldn't have been so panicked in the kebab shop today (not that I'm going to any kebab shops anytime soon!) So thank you /r/loseit and the community who posts here! | Journey started when SO said my anxiety and unhappiness in my body/weight was related. Achieved first goal of 22lbs with 44lbs to go! |
t3_31joc2 | relationships | What are my [21F] responsibilites towards my ill relative [40s M] who is now a house guest? | My relative fell ill a few months ago and has been diagnosed with a type of cancer. He is going through chemo at the moment and moved in with my and my mom as the specialist hospital is in our town.
I am a student and live at home with my mum however she works a lot and therefore isn't around for the day to day stuff.
I also work part time and have to study a lot to keep up with my classes.
I guess my question is, am I obliged to be my relative's carer? To cook fresh food for him everyday and keep his bedroom spotless? To ensure he is on top of all his medicines and to entertain him when I get home from work/school? [he has been here for 5/6 weeks now so not exactly a guest anymore]
Tbh, it's pretty exhausting and I have so much on my plate already, I don't want even more responsibilty.
To add: Relative's mother who is in her 60s has also moved in, so I don't understand why his care should fall onto me?? She is free the whole day and is retired btw, so plenty of time to cook etc. | Feel guilty at not doing much for sick relative, but then feel angry at being obliged to be his carer when I'm quite busy and have a lot of things to do. |
t3_1igb0d | personalfinance | To raise my credit limit or not to raise my credit limit... | **Background:** I'm 24, I have two credit cards, one being just a few months old with a $500 limit, and the other (the one in question) was opened in Aug. 2007, and has a limit of $300 (had with $500 once, dropped to $300 in 2010 when I was in school and there is no record as to why). I always pay off any debt the month of, and my credit score is between 700-720 (checked a few months ago, but I have opened a new card since, and two landlords have checked on it).
**Question:** I want to raise the limit on the $300 one (from 2007), but I'm not sure by how much, or if by doing so I will hurt my current score. It would be great to be able to make larger purchases to redeem those points, as well as not be hurt by over utilizing my limit (not that I leave a balance on them for very long anyway, but I have been hurt by it before. | Should I raise the limit on my $300 limited credit card, and by how much? My credit scope is 700-720 range and I am 24. |
t3_2b77ax | Advice | i think my best friend's other friends are bad influences on him. how do i tell him? | my best friend and i have been best friends for 8 years and we are as close as brothers, he has been hanging out with this other group of guys for probably 5 years and they do drugs and drink to excess and stuff, my best friend and i like to party but they are dropping molly and acid and doing shrooms and coke and stuff, granted only on a once in a while basis but i think its bad and im worried he's going to get hooked. ive brought it up before that i dont like it and he just gets defensive and says he barely does it. i dont think he 's a drug addict but im worried it could lead to that. how do i address this with him? | my best friend is doing drugs with his other friends and i think they are a bad influence on him. how do i confront him about it? |
t3_1pdsi6 | relationships | My [21F] asexuality is causing problems with my boyfriend [22M]. | I'm asexual, and he is not. So when we are in the heat of the moment, and he is in the rush of feelings and hormones, I am in my usual state of mind.
I try to be into it, but it's very hard for me to do so, since I don't have adrenaline or anything helping me out. He wants me to take control and try different things, but like I said before, it's difficult for me to do it, and it kind of ruins the mood for us.
Sometimes, when the sex is really fast, everything seems okay, but when he wants to take things slowly, that's when it all seems to go wrong. It usually ends in him just masturbating and then cumming on me, which I don't mind, but I know it's not what he wants. Sometimes, it usually ends in one of us being annoyed and frustrated.
I like him a lot, and he says the same for me, but I feel like the relationship is doomed if we can't get over this.
Any advice | My boyfriend and I aren't sexually compatible, but he claims that he doesn't want to break up. I'm not sure how to proceed. |
t3_3xuqtf | relationships | I [F29] am with my BF [32M] of 5 years, he is not ambitious at all, which freaks me out. | Long time lurker, first time posting here. Using a throwaway. Apologies if post becomes too long.
I have been in relationship with Jake for 5 years now, living together for last 2 years and have seen our share of up and downs.Last year or two I feel like he has stopped putting effort into our relationship/ life. He is not super ambitious type which is fine with me. But he is stuck in dead end job which he is not ready to give up. I have asked him to apply to other positions but it's never taken too seriously, for too long. We decided to take language courses together just to keep our minds fresh/ learn something new. New language skill can help both our careers. I finished two, while he hasn't completed a single. This was after deciding what he wants to do, language would not have been my first choice, but I tried. I am self-learner, I like to pick new challenges, keep improving myself. I don't see him doing the same. I have other examples which I can give but for the sake of anonymity [if someone needs I can provide]. It has caused friction between us for now an year.
Just for the other side of coin. He is attractive, has sense of humor, is very good with people, listens well, quite generous (looks after my "needs" first, or at-least makes sure equally contained!) and so on. But when it comes to life he has very laid back approach that freaks me out.
I just need an outside perspective. My friends know us well and I feel they cannot give that 3rd person view, without some prejudice. Not sure if this time for ultimatum. | BF's lack of ambition causing lot of resentment/ issues in relationship. Need perspective, is it time for ultimatum? |
t3_35lmrj | relationships | Should I [19/f] tell my best friend [19/m] that I know about his girlfriend [23/f] he's kept a secret from me? | Some backstory. We have been good friends for a little more than a year now and we briefly dated about 8 months ago. We decided to go back to being just friends but I definitely still have feelings for him. We hang out all the time and talk every day and refer to each other as our best friends.
I went over his house the other day and his sister brought up his girlfriend. (they're not technically boyfriend girlfriend. They're in a relationship without the title. Yet his family calls her his girlfriend. He did the same thing with me when we first started talking.) Apparently they have been together since winter. I had no idea he was dating her and they all thought I knew. Basically I'm very hurt that he kept this a secret from me and lied to me. He has no idea that I know.
His family thinks they're on the decline and he's going to stop seeing her soon. I don't know if I should tell him I still have feelings for him and see if he feels the same or not. I think he may feel the same just because he acts like it most of the time and he hasn't made things official with the girl he's with now. Also he comments a lot on how much I've improved as a person since we were together and how he likes being around me more now.
I don't know if I should tell him I know either. Basically I just don't want him to get angry at me and stop talking to me for whatever reason. I'm just afraid of his reaction to me bringing it up that I know about her because he kept it a secret for whatever reason. At the same time it's eating me up inside and it's all I can think about, making me feel depressed. I hate the idea of him with another girl.
Any advice how to bring it up or if I should? | best friend is with a girl and he's kept it a secret for months. Don't know if I should tell him I know or tell about my feelings for him? |
t3_31oial | relationships | Me (19F) and my ex (19M) broke up a week ago. I still have feelings for him. We were together for 3 months. We still have sex, (recently) and he says he doesn't want to anymore because feelings will get hurt. | We got together with no intention if falling "in love" he broke up with me for the reasons of we have different viewpoints on things.
I have tattoos, he doesn't like it. We both crave attention and affection hence why were still having sex after a breakup. We got along great I thought.
We love talking, we talk a lot. He spent the night last night and we had sex a lot and then a few times today as well then he got all weird again saying we shouldn't have sex again or hang out.
He had invited me to go to a concert tomorrow night and to a play this weekend, but he is very unbalanced on wanting to take me.
I'm only upset cause when he initially broke up with me I thought it was over his ex and how I somehow didn't compare, but he doesn't like her at the same time. His reasons are: tattoos, religion, some feminist things (not extreme), and he also gets this vibe that I love him way more than he feels he could love me. I don't want a serious relationship to the point of wanting to make it forever. We both feel that way.
I really need advice on how we can just be friends and show him I'm a great girl. He tells me already I'm a million types of great but I just don't know if I believe it. | Me (19F) and ex (19M) have a friends with benefits type deal going on but there's a lot more emotion behind him. Need advice |
t3_3im284 | legaladvice | Medicaid Eligibility (Michigan) | Greetings, /r/legaladvice. Long time reader, first time caller.
I am a 26-year-old hailing from a wealthy family, but said family is not supporting me. My parents operate a trust fund with me as beneficiary, and there is a sizable sum in that trust fund. But it is off-limits to me at the moment (I am told I will have access sometime in the future, probably the far future), and so for the moment, I am on my own.
I need health insurance, but I am unemployed (with that unlikely to change until October/November, when I am hopefully admitted to the Michigan bar). I have some money in my own bank account, but not enough to afford health insurance flat-out without a subsidy. I tried to apply for a subsidy, but because I have nearly no income, I was referred to Medicaid. I have been told I cannot get a subsidy unless Medicaid rejects me.
Yet I feel rather unethical accepting Medicaid, given that I am the beneficiary of a rather sizable trust fund. Welfare programs like Medicaid are designed to help the least fortunate in this country -- not some rich kid who just happens to not have access to money at this moment. I do not want to be using funds that could be put to better use helping someone in poverty.
So I am wondering if there is any way for me to be disqualified from Medicaid that wouldn't disqualify me from the subsidies? It would need to be something ethical -- I take very seriously the requirement that attorneys (and would-be attorneys) exhibit integrity at all times. | Theoretically rich person feels unethical accepting Medicaid, but cannot afford to purchase health insurance flat-out. Wants to know how to get health insurance subsidy despite being told "you cannot have one because you qualify for Medicaid." |
t3_i9nht | AskReddit | Reddit: What's your funniest "caught having sex" story? | When I was 22, I moved back in with my mom (parents divorced) for a couple of weeks, while I was in between places. The first of the two weeks, she was out of town. Well, my little brother (17) and sister (19) were not. They asked me to get them alcohol so they could drink the night away at a going away party for a friend. I NEVER bought alcohol for them, but I really wanted the place to myself, so I made a poor decision. I was pretty sure they were going to be gone for the night. I had just started dating this teacher. We went to a bar to see a band that a couple of friends are in. Things were going well. She came back to my place. Well, since I was just moving back in to my mom's house, my room was in no shape to bring in this pretty lady (out of my league) that I had just started dating. And, I was drunk, so (I am ashamed to say this, but) my mom's room seemed like a great idea! We were going to town, she was being LOUD! Really, really loud. Screaming things like "spank me!" and "choke me!" and "pull my hair!" She was without a doubt the wildest one I had ever been with. She was a teacher and had to be at the school at 7:30, so she left around 4 a.m. I walked her out to her car. I opened the front door, and saw my brother's car, my sister's car, and even a couple cars of my sister's friends. This means they got home while this mysterious, screaming woman, and I were mid-act...I walked back in at 4 a.m. to about 6 people giving me a round of applause. My sister has used this as leverage, to get me to buy her alcohol a couple more times, my mom still does not know! It ended with this teacher, who wanted me to choke her, spank her, and pull her hair, when I declined several invitations to hang out with her church group. | My brother and sister came home while I was banging a screamer, in my moms bed. Gave me a round of applause. |
t3_1i9gcj | relationships | Do I have a chance with this girl? | Ok, so basically I have a crush on this girl who volunteers at the same pet shelter as me. We see each other once a week, right now we're strangers. I'm a 16M scrawny tall kid, honestly a bit nerdy but I wouldn't call myself downright ugly. I'm decent looking I guess. This girl 15 or 16F is very beautiful imo, but doesn't wear makeup, seems shy like me and plays volleyball. She lives about 2 towns away from me and goes to a different school. I've never had a gf so I'm very inexperienced but really want to have my first relationship with her. Is what I'm hoping for even realistic given the fact that she's athletic and I'm not, lives two towns away and sees me only once a week? I mean I know it sounds silly but I'm really inexperienced, please help guys. | 16M crush on 15 or 16F, she lives 2 towns away, is athletic while I'm not, see each other once a week. |
t3_vpr4l | dating_advice | Engineers of reddit! I need your advice... | I am F/21 and I'm not sure how old he is guessing on his profession maybe late twenties
I work at medical production manufacturing company and work in a room full of older women training to be certified technicians.. And we have to use certain equipments that are still being set up by engineers who work on it throughout the day.
So I have been there for about a month and a half, and I just noticed this one engineer that is pretty attractive. I'm sure he has seen me a couple times and we just glanced at each other. I work with my sister and she has told me that he has stared at me when I wasn't looking at him.
He works in the same room but across the other side working on the equipment trying to set them up for when we start our job around mid August or so.
My question: what goes on in an engineers mind about dating and girls? Are you guys strictly serious about a job when your working? Would you notice if a girl is trying to flirt with you (making eye contact and smiling)?
FYI, I'm not the best at flirting or reading any signals when a guy is interested, but if were to try I'm sure I would notice. | cute engineer works in the same room working on equipment. What's a mind of an engineer like when it comes to flirting at work? |
t3_2x5zyr | tifu | TIFU by rushing home. | This happened around 3 years ago when I first moved to Sweden. It was winter and very cold with lots of snow so obviously I wrapped myself in my warm clothes, gloves, scarf and my big black jacket to go to school. Basically, this one day it randomly happened that I wore all black. Fast forward, I went to school that day and everything went well. On my way home, when I was on the buss I received a text from my mom saying that I should rush home for dinner and stuff.
The place I lived back then was like a village so the buss was half empty, and at the stop there was only me and a boy around 8 who got off.
The boy was walking like 2 meters in front of me and I got tired of walking so slow so I started running. It was cold and I was hungry so I wanted to get home as fast as possible but the boy in front of me got suddenly worried when he realized someone was running behind him. He looked back at me and saw me running towards his direction, I automatically made eye contact with him and can imagine my retarded face while running, I probably looked scary and dumb at the same time. I could see on his face that he got shit ass terrified when he saw me. Suddenly I stopped running cause I didn't want of him to think I wanted to harm him, and he stopped running too.
But then I finally thought "Fuck it, I will start run past him and show that I'm not running after him" but as I started running he turned his face at me again in terror and started running too. I could see on his expression that he shit his pants and ran like hell to get home. | Started running to get home from the buss stop but the kid in front of me thought I was a serial killer running after him. He shit his pants. |
t3_1hlz2a | relationships | Gf[23/f] not happy her ex bf just got married. I'm[23/m] not sure how to take it | GF had a rough past with her ex bf. I've been with GF for over 3 years. She has mentioned he was 'perfect' until he cheated on her. She has told me that even being with me she has difficulty forgetting about her ex bf like letting go. I know she hates him with all her guts. Well, found out today she was shocked that her ex bf was married. Turns out she was still FB friend with her ex bf for the whole time we've been together. It suddenly dawned on me why she never really got over her ex. Love her a lot, but the fact she hid this from me making think that I was inadequate in helping her move on is very troubling for me. | Found out gf is depressed ex bf got married. What the hell do I do? I do love this girl |
t3_1jzx4o | relationships | Me[20/M] and the girl I love [20/F], should I be doing this? | Hello people. So I recently got in touch with this girl from my past. I won't bore you with the general details, so here it is. I am an introvert, mainly because the people I trusted in the past have failed me. The last girl that I went out with cheated on me the whole time. Anyways, this girl turned out to be someone who is perfect in every sense. She is beautiful, smart, chilled out, and talks to me often. We've gone out once, but only as friends, as we were catching up after ~10 years. She too has experienced pain in the past, if you know what I mean, which for some reason makes me able to relate to her even more (some fucked up shit happened to both of us in the past). I can't make up my mind whether I should really ask her out and tell her that I love her, as she considers her ex to be her best friend, and talks to him often too, and I have a feeling that she still has it for him. I seriously need some advice, as I really cant put in too much thought into this. | Fell in love with a long lost friend, she still talks to her ex, feel that she has the feels for him, can't decide whether to ask her out or not. |
t3_1wc1ew | relationships | Love or Love? | Im 19 my girlfriend 20 My possible soul mate of a girlfriend is moving to Florida for school for a little while. we live in Ohio Currently well she is asking me to go with her 14 hours away from everything i love. My cousins mainly we are the closest family ever...period..
i also love her with all of my heart and so much more. i don't want to let my dream girl slip through my fingers.. but i have another cousin that got with his girlfriend and disappeared from us and the hate it so much i don't want to choose between them. so Reddit help any advice will help.... | let my dream girl het away or possibly my bestfriends and family hate me gor a year or two while im gone in florida with her |
t3_12xkah | relationship_advice | I [22/m] caught her [20/f] red handed. Now what? | Last night I caught my girlfriend in a lie. She said she was shopping and going out to eat with her friends. Turns out she went to her ex-bf house (they dated for almost three years), he got drunk and kissed her. She claims she did not kiss him back. As far as I know this is the first time in our six month relationship that she has lied to me. She texts her ex almost daily, I have told her before that her talking to him bothers me.
Is it unfair for me to make her choose between him and me?
Is there any hope for my relationship lasting? | caught gf in a lie. last night she went "shopping & out to eat" at her ex's house they kissed. |
t3_3wvjir | tifu | TIFU by forgetting my wallet | Here's the backstory, I had this terrible roommate at my college who would try to sell me adderall when I didn't want any and would
knock on my door every 15 minutes when I try to go to bed just to get something. This is what happened when he stayed at his boyfriend's place.
And this kept happening in 2 in the morning mind you. He would also make out with his boyfriend in the same room as me at times which started to bug me, not the fact that he was
gay, but the sound of it was driving me crazy. At one point, I just couldn't take it. So I call my dad for him to pick me up from my college while I wait at the
lounge. By now it's been about 30 minutes. But I remembered that I had forgotten my wallet from the room. So I go back
to my room to view my roommate and his boyfriend having sex. There was no note on the door, there was nothing to warn me. The wallet was in the other corner
when I start to notice the room smelled so bad, like raw sewage or whatever. And then I see that I had stepped on shit. Human. Shit. That's when I realized
that I was gonna leave this place. And I can't get the image of my roommate buttfucking his boyfriend out of my head. | Forgot wallet at my door room and see my roomate fucking another guy in front of me, at an attempt to get my wallet, I step on actual shit. |
t3_xfmao | relationships | Dating an older woman. Any advice or opinions appreciated. | Ok so here's the situation. I'm 25 m and just getting divorced (long story short, soon to be ex wife was screwing everyone else and i caught her). I recently started talking to another woman and we have a lot in common and have a great time together. I thought she was around 32 when i first met her. Found out she is 42 ( she didn't hide it it just didn't come up) and has a son a year younger than myself.
Things are great with her, we always have fun together no matter what were doing. The age gap doesn't bother me and it doesn't her either. My question is this basically, is this a good move? I'm looking for some outside opinions. I really like this girl and we have so much in common (something my ex and I did not). What will the issues be with this? Do you all see a problem?
I'm more than happy to give more information if necessary without divulging too much information. | I'm 25 m going through a divorce and I'm seeing a 42 f and want some outside opinions on this. Thanks! |
t3_sqfur | AskReddit | I'm 27 years old in a career I can't stand. I'm thinking about going back to college, what should I do? | Hello Reddit, I am currently in a Tech Admin position with a small business and I can't say that I enjoy the career path that I originally went to college for (computer science).
I have some ideas as far as what I would want to do with the rest of my life however would need to go to college and get at least a Bachelor's Degree in the field to get into the job I believe I would love to do.
I live on my own and don't have much time to myself and I'm on call all the time, would night classes be a good idea? Online degree? I'm unsure what direction I should go and wanted to know if someone else has been in this position and had some insight or could possibly point me in the right direction of figuring out what I need to do. | Live by myself with rent and bills to pay, want to go back to college to get out of a career I dislike, what do? |
t3_2wvfgd | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] have been together over a year, my extreme jealousy is damaging our relationship | Reddit, I need your help.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and we have a very happy relationship. We rarely fight, we crave each others company, and we are both very serious about our relationship.
The only thing weighing us down are my jealousy issues.
It is impossible for me to go out ANYWHERE in public (groceries, the mall, the gym) without getting extreme paranoia that he is checking out other girls or thinking how attractive other girls are. When we are not together all I can think about is him looking at porn or gonewild posts on his computer. I can't even watch tv with him because whenever there is an attractive girl on the screen (which is often) I think that he is imagining having sex with her and lusting over her. I basically force us to only watch animated shows together because of this.. and even then the jealousy will still be there.
However, I am painfully aware of how 'crazy' I'm being. I know that he would never cheat on me, and I know that its natural for people to find other attractive people attractive without it being a sign of infidelity. But knowing that does not stop the feelings of hurt and pain and paranoia.
I have never been cheated on before, but I have witnessed my parents not being faithful to each other. Also, I worry that my self-esteem may be a cause of the issue. I try very hard with my appearance by working out, eating right, but it never feels like enough.
I just want to be able to relax and enjoy a movie or a walk with my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend with my whole heart but the jealousy is honestly just too painful and damaging. I don't know what to do. | Extreme jealousy is preventing me from going out in public or even watching tv with my boyfriend. My boyfriend has never shown any signs that he is interested in other women. How do I get past this. |
t3_136o55 | relationships | I (male age 19) leave for Marines Boot Camp at the end of the month. Should I break up with my girlfriend? (age 17) | Should I (male age 19) break up with my girlfriend (age 17) before I leave for Marines boot camp? We've been dating for a month and I know thats not long but she's liked me for a while and she really grew on me. We actually talked yesterday and I told her we should break up because it'll be too painful to have a relationship like that and she said she'd be able to be strong and faithful for me but we did come to the conclusion that we'll break up before I leave. Am I making the right decision? | Should I (male age 19) break up with my girlfriend (age 17) before I leave for Marines boot camp? |
t3_i811o | AskReddit | What to do? | Hey reddit fans, here is my dilemma. My wife and I are going through a mostly amicable divorce. Things have been wrong for a while and while she loves me she is no longer in Love with me. She started hinting at this last fall and I have been blind to it as I do love her and tell her that still to today. Here is my dilemma; She found an old high school fuck buddy on Facebook. He too is in a failing relationship but has not had the talk with his wife. To keep the level of scrutiny he is under down he had her create a fake profile on Facebook as a member of the opposite sex so their most innocent of daily banter is hidden, less obvious. She came clean to me about 6 weeks ago about him when I caught her chatting him (I am a service technician and turned screen sharing on on her CPU). He has 4 children with his current wife and a previous; so that she can surreptitiously be part of their lives he has pushed them to friend her fake profile.
When we, as a family, took our children to a Sox game this past week, I posted an image of us on Facebook and tagged her. The following morning he went off on her and she unfriended me. I love this woman and want her in my life (loser) but she is killing me. | My wife is leaving and to keep her new relationship a secret she created a fake profile on Facebook. Do I report this user identity? Ultimately she'll just create another and that will push her further away from me. |
t3_1xmnr3 | relationships | This past July, I think my [21 F] boyfriend's [21 M] bestfriend [21 M] was hitting on me. What do I do? | Last July, my boyfriend of 3 years had a small party at his house. There were maybe 15 of us there, all of his friends were quite drunk.
Eventually in the night his best friend comes up to me and puts his arm around me and I'm holding him up because he's almost too drunk to stand on his own. We go inside to get him water, and the whole time he keeps saying things to me like "You're so cute... you're so sexy." I keep dismissing him and what he's saying and then everyone else starts to come inside but then he says to me "You're too good for *my bf*" I got pretty angry and upset and I said "You need to stop" and I walked away from him.
For a number of reasons at the time, I didn't know how to confront the situation or how to tell my bf. I didn't want him to have to pick between us. And I really wanted to chalk it up to "The friend was drunk and didn't know what he was doing"
But now, I've lost all respect for the best friend, mostly because I think he's a completely shitty person and doesn't deserve my bf in his life. It has been hard for me to be around him, and I almost hate him for it all. I feel horrible as I know I should have told my bf at the time right when this happened. And it constantly eats at me. But now so much time has gone by I don't know what to do...
I'd just really appreciate any advice/ insight | Boyfriend's best friend was really drunk and hit on me. Is it too late to do anything about it now? |
t3_1l8a2e | relationships | My friend and I need help on how to nicely approach our new girl roommate about problems we already have with her. | My friend and I (males) just started living with a girl we floored with in the freshmen dorms last year; we are all 19 and attending the same college. It's a two bedroom apartment, my friend and I share one room and she didn't want a roommate so she lives in the other room alone. Therefore the rent is split 25%, 25%, 50%. We needed another roommate so we could afford the rent and unfortunately she was our only option at the time.
So, the major problem is her boyfriend. The dude is ok but he is here ALL THE TIME. He's been here everyday and it annoys my friend and I. It makes us uncomfortable because it changes the dynamic and we feel like we have a guest present 24/7 and have to be nice to him, make him feel like good company, and share meals; instead of doing whatever we want and going about our business. You would think she could handle entertaining him but a good amount of times she leaves and he just stays over, and occasionally comes over before she's back from work. Food is scarce because we're college kids but he has been helping himself to our stuff. Additionally they are messy as fuck and it really pisses me off that I've been cleaning up after someone that doesn't even pay rent. He just spilled an entire beer on our carpet and proceeded to use all my paper towels to "clean" it up.
She may be paying the rent of two people, but we didn't sign the lease to live with this guy. We haven't been able to talk to her about this as roommates because he is always here when she is. We want to do this in a civilized manner so we don't have animosity to deal with for 10 more months. | We need help nicely telling our roommate her boyfriend is here way too much and inconveniencing us in our own home. |
t3_q660t | travel | RTW ticket vs. a la carte: Which makes more sense? | Hello fellow travel fiends. I'm currently in the planning phases of doing a trip around the world with a good friend of mine. We'd like to take off on our adventure sometime in April and we're trying to determine if it makes sense to go with these Round-the-world tickets (RTW) or to just buy a bunch of one-way fares a la carte. I'm not convinced that RTW tickets are better value, though of course they can be depending on where one is going and when. Maybe this is simply too general of a question based on the conditional nature of where we're going, what the supply/demand is of the routes in question, etc. In any case, I'm wondering if any of you out there have put in the time or have the experience to offer me and my buddy some good advice. Thanks! | Have any of you ever priced out a RTW itinerary a la carte and compared the cost difference? What did you find? |
t3_udmez | relationships | Protected by lies, and then the truth comes out.. | Well, Reddit. Here's my sad little story.. I've been in a relationship for over a year, and hell, it's been one messy year. I don't want to go into too much detail because I've actually been borderline stalked in the past (if something vital seems to be missing, tell me?)..
Me and my SO are both 20-something young adults. When we met, we immediately hit off and thus starts our story. We spent togethet probably the best summer ever, but then things go wrong. Enter the manipulative ex-gf, a girl who gets between us a couple of times.. A lot of other shit happened too and being passonate and well, maybe a little immature too, we break up & make up a couple of times, the last time being about four months ago.
We got quickly back together, and my bf seemed to change; he's actually made an effort to keep other people out of our relationship, and he's also been sweet and caring.
Problem is, I found out that during our quick break-ups he made out with a couple of other girls in a drunken haze and later on lied to me about it, because apparently he was too ashamed to tell me. As far as I knew til yesterday was that he kissed his ex last autumn, but oh no.. The number is actually three other girls he kissed and tossed away. I found out because I knew he had erm, asked at least one of these girls' number when we had broken up and he was mad at me, so I confronted him about it.
Things have been going so well lately, but oh man.. Truth be told, I don't think I would've gotten back together with him had I known he actually kissed THREE other girls, and most of these episodes even rooting as far as us breaking up because of his ex. These were dealt with in winter, but obviously he lied to me. He cried last night when he thought I was going to leave him. Things have been better, almost perfect, after we left all that shit behind but now.. How am I supposed to deal with this new info? Obviously he was ashamed and still is, but lying straight to my face? That's bad.. | break up & make up with bf, things get better over time but it turns out that during break-ups bf kissed three other girls and straight out lied about it firsthand |
t3_1q04kg | relationship_advice | I'm (20m) tired of the relationship, but don't want to hurt her(20f). | My girlfriend and I have been dating for slightly over a year. We're both college students, in a long distance relationship, who work and have a lot of responsibilities. We live 1.5-2 hours away from each other, but due to our schedules see each other very irregularly. For two days, then not for 4 weeks, then 2 more days, then nothing for 7 weeks, then for 4 days, etc.
I love her and care for her deeply but feel like the distance + how busy we are is ruining the relationship.
My biggest hang up is, I love and care for her, but there's no end insight for this (2+ years till we both finish undergrad, then I have my masters & pHd). I don't want this to keep going until I resent her or it has negative consequences on my career, but I also can't stand hurting her.
Any kind of advice, criticism, or affirmation that I'm not the worst person ever would be helpful. | Long distance college relationship, which is better, long periods of not feeling happy, for brief but great times, or no relationship at all? |
t3_1dzdvm | relationships | Feel like I am dating someone I could marry (2+ yrs) but as a 23(m) I feel like I am missing out. | Title explains it all, have been dating my current gf since college (2.5 years) and I have struggled for the past few months of whether I should end it. I really do love and care about her a lot, but I cannot help wondering what it is like to be single again. I don't even really want to have one night stands, but am interested in dating around to see what I really want in a gf/have some excitement of going out with new people again. However, am I just throwing away a good thing because I just want to date around? | long relationship, just got out of college, feel like I am missing out even though I could see myself marrying current gf. |
t3_53w6ds | relationships | Me [34 F] torn between two men [40 M] and [35 M] | Throwaway to prevent ID by friends/fam.
I'll try and make this quick. I have been seeing two guys for the past year. 40M isn't very affectionate or emotionally supportive. Yet every time he calls, texts, or I see him it's like I'm in a trance.
35M is open-hearted, kind, helpful, sensitive, caring, loving, loyal and giving of himself. I like him and know he would make a good husband/father but there are just no fireworks. I would honestly love to feel the intense way I do for 40M, but it just isn't there.
The biggest difference between the two is that 40M is dominant and I love it. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm with him. I'm an ambitious, accomplished woman in my own right but he inspires me to set my goals even higher to be on par with him. 35M makes me feel like even if I decided to be complacent in life and not maximize my potential, it would be A-OK. He just wants the wife, the house, the kids and the white picket fence. Obviously I'm at that age where it's time to sh*t or get off the pot. 35M wants marriage, now, 40M wants a long term partnership but not marriage (unless with an iron-clad prenup). 35M seems like the smart option; he will be there for me no matter what. 40M I'm not so sure.
What say you, Reddit? | Why doesn't the guy I know makes for good husband/father material make me feel like the guy who isn't? Am I the problem here? |
t3_3hp4m4 | relationships | What am I (38f) going to do? I can't get over him (40m) and I can't cut ties. | My husband of 11 years left me.
We had our problems, but I thought we were lifers. We've been married 11 years but known each other for 20. We have 2 young children.
I knew he wasn't happy for a while (but neither was I). It was just the garbage of life we were dealing with (money problems, family stresses, depression, lack of sex). We are in a very stressful period of time at the moment (sick extended family members, job issues), and I've been distracted for months.
He told me he was moving out to get some space to think. Then it became obvious he was seeing someone else. Then when confronted about it, he said he's not coming back.
I know: lawyer, gym. But I'm in shock. I think it must be shock......it has been 3 weeks now and I still feel icy cold when I think about it. I got sleeping pills from my doctor. Husband is someone I don't even recognize. He's extremely cold towards me and ONLY speaks to me regarding the kids. Nothing I say breaks through to him. In fact, he mostly ignores me.
I have no idea how to move on. I'm dealing with intense anger (that I know working out will help) but I feel so stressed and out of control. I'm not acting on the anger, but it sometimes feels like borderline rage that I have to stuff down.
I can't go no contact with him.......we have young kids who want to see them. He wants them as much as possible. I'm left here in tears while he takes them overnight. Moving on will be a long tedious process because I'll still have to see him REGULARLY because of the kids. And I'll have to hear about his life.
My heart is broken. | husband moved out to think, then told me he's not coming back. We have 2 young children and have to co-parent. How can I move on when I have to have regular contact with him? |
t3_fwtlc | AskReddit | Could I get away with working on a cruise ship and then jumping ship when I got to another country? | So I'm hoping to do some traveling, and airlines are really expensive. It occurred to me that, if I were to enter into service on a crew ship, waiting tables or swabbing decks, I would be getting paid to travel to exotic locales, and then I could just jump ship when I got where I wanted to go. I would be okay with it morally, because I don't feel like cruise ships are doing much of anything positive in the world. I am however totally ignorant about what this would entail. Would I be able to enter the country legally? I was planning on getting a tourist visa stateside. Has anyone tried this? Has anyone worked on a cruise ship? Could you just flesh out my proposal generally, so I know how viable it is? There is a specific place that I am trying to get, but I don't want to go into too many details because I have an inkling that this would be illegal. | I want to work on a cruise ship and then bow out when we get to the right port of call. How viable is this? |
t3_sh0di | AskReddit | Reddit, I think I've completely screwed up my future | Somewhere right around the beginning of high school I came down with what I can only assume was a pretty major undiagnosed bout of depression. For about 2 years, I was extremely depressed and had no drive or motivation in my classes. This caused my grades to drop dramatically.
I'm just finishing up my Junior year in high school, and it's time to start looking for colleges. I'm still pretty smart (I'm not just saying that, I got a 2050 on the SAT and 32 on the ACT) but because of those two years, my GPA is a miserable 2.9, my class rank isn't even in the top half, and I have next to no extracurricular activities. Considering I want to major in computer science, I feel pretty screwed when it comes to colleges.
Has anyone been through something similar or have some advice for me? | had no motivation for half of high school, GPA is a 2.9 but I have great test scores. Do I have any chance at getting into a good school and if not, can I change that? |
t3_49w134 | legaladvice | I've (M 20) been taking care of my ex's (F 19) dog for about 8-9 months and I'm scared to give him back. | I moved up to Oregon last summer to be closer to my girlfriend, and I started taking care of her dog for her. He's an Italian greyhound chihuahua mix, and he's super sweet. When I first moved here, he had severe anxiety issues and would frequently have accidents all over the house. He didn't eat very much, and cower if anyone walked towards him.
Now he is happy and healthy. My roommates and neighbors have all noted how much he's improved. Even my ex's parents agree that he's doing much better.
When I broke up with my girlfriend, we agreed that the dog should stay with me because I was taking such good care of him. Since we broke up, she's only seen the dog about 5 times and only for a few brief moments, and that's 100% her choice. I've been open to her seeing him more.
I'm moving this week, and suddenly she doesn't want me taking him because he's her dog. I have a housing situation worked out and he'll be happy where we're going. We would be a short walk from the beach, and there would be other dogs for him to play with. We would even have a good yard for him to play in. And if I ever end up leaving and if I'm not able to take him, my mom would take over (she loves him and has a few dogs of her own).
I think my ex wants to keep him solely because he's "hers" and as a way to spite me. It's cruel, especially after she has already abandoned him. From what I know, she doesn't have any of his paperwork and her family all believe I should take him.
I'm at a loss as to what I should do. I love him dearly and I want what's best for him, but I'm worried about what the ramifications would be and I don't know how I should go about it. She's asking me when I'll be leaving so she can figure out when to grab him. | I've been taking care of my ex girlfriend's dog for several months, with no help from her. I've done a good job of it and I really care about the dog, but now she wants him back. |
t3_3qk3kj | dating_advice | This girl[16F] I've [16M] been talking to told me she was bummed when I didn't make a move on the first date so I kiss her on the second and after a few days she wants to take it slow (X-post /r/relationships) | so we've been talking for about a month. A mutual friend of ours introduced us and I asked her to the movies with me. Date went great and a few days later she said she was bummed when I didn't make a move on her. Next weekend I take her bowling where we play two games and talk for about an hour and a half. It was great and I kissed her. Later that date she kissed me and I was extremely happy! She was my first kiss. Today she tells me about how she's having a bad day and how bad things are happening in her life and we talk about it and before leaving we share a nice long hug. I tell her to text me and we part ways. She texts me about 30 minutes later and tells me that she wants to take it slower. She told me she left a relationship not long ago and that she wasn't sure how to commit to another relationship yet. What does this mean? What do I do? Do I continue to kiss her? | Talked to this girl for a month two dates and my first kiss later she tells me that she wants to take it slower and that she isn't sure how to commit to another relationship yet. What do I do? |
t3_38si8r | tifu | TIFU by accidentally putting cum in my mouth NSFW | Disclaimer: this happened to my friend, but i was there and it is extremely embaressing
So me and my buddies are in the school band and orchestra. There was an opportunity to go on a cruise and play, so all 4 of us took it up. One night for whatever reason, we decided to measure our dicks because we were teasing my asian friend about the stereotypical asian toothpick and by marking the length on a piece of paper. So we all take turns going in the bathroom etc. (Were all straight) so my friend takes his turn, and comes out of the bathroom and says he came in the f*king paper. We didnt belive him, but my one friend wants to see it to make sure hes not lying(pretty weird) and so he attempts to take it out of the trash, but my friend who came in it snatches it up, panics and shoves it in his mouth. Dont worry, the guys in the room next to us measured with toothpaste it could be worse | was measuring our dicks on a band crusise and one of my friends came into the paper using to measure it and paniced and shoved it in his mouth when one of my friends wanted to see proof |
t3_yefeo | relationship_advice | Long Distance help for a 21/m, share your advice and stories with me Reddit. | I live in Las Vegas, Nevada and my on again off again girlfriend who is my age moved to Washington state for graduate school to eventually become a teacher. She will be graduating next summer, and where she goes from there to actually teach, assuming she can get a job, I have no idea. We used to live together and I did have plans at one point months ago to move up there with her, but, you guessed it, the intermittent status of our relationship prevented that.
She's a pretty emotional girl, so arguments tend to rise up from that, in a lot of ways we are really opposite. She lives her life based on how she feels and I'm the logical type, a mechanical engineering student, I kind of have to have this mindset for my future. But enough with the back story. It seems like every time we call it quits, I go a month or two not hearing from her, only to have her resurface which eventually leads to her attempts of reconciliation. I literally never talk to her again when we do actually seperate, and I always get into the frame of mind that I will never hear from her again, i guess to spare my mind of the pain always wondering if she is even thinking about me (i always figured that's how exes were supposed to behave). I feel I have allowed this for too long, because regardless of what she says it just leads to more hurt later on. Is she using me because she can't find anyone else there, or does she genuinely want to work things out? Is there a solution to this long distance to leave us not arguing over petty texts or should I just move on.
My question to you is, where do I go from here, where has my reddit community been and how have they come out for the better?
I'll do my best to respond to comments, this is my first post ever, please be gentle!! :D | Girlfriend moves away, breaks happen, she always comes back (I never do) we try again only to fail some more, solution, or move on? |
t3_ho4n4 | AskReddit | What's the most unexpected way your best friend affirmed your relationship? | Inspired by this (insanely dis-heartening) post: where stories of friends' dickishness are told, I have a question.
Sometimes you just go through the motions in relationships, be it with friends or girlfriends, family, etc. But then there's that odd time when you friend or loved one does something unexpected to show how close you actually are, spontaneous or planned.
My best friend since kindergarten and I were on a binge-drinking-kind of vacation to the Canary Islands a few years ago. We were about 19 at the time. We were in this trashy euro-disco club at about 4 am (the selection over there isn't great). I was pretty wasted, checking out a girl dancing alone. My friend is over at the bar getting beer, when a big burly guy grabs my shoulder from behind and walks me to a shady corner of the club. I'm not particularily well-built, weighing in around 65 kg at the time, and my friend's not much bigger. This guy was more stallone-esque. It turns out the girl I was looking at was his gf, and he owns the club. Two more even bigger guys (the guards) join us the corner. They don't speak english, I don't speak spanish, so I'm not gonna be able to talk myself out of this one. Looks like I'm going to be roughed up right? I'm all alone, cornered and desperation starts to set in. Suddenly the guys all back up a bit, and I notice that my friend has found me, and joined up right next to me giving the biggest evil eyes I've ever seen to these guys. They back off without any exchange of words, and we got out of there. My friend has never been in a fight and I'd never seen him angry before. But he sure had my back this time, and always have, before and after that, without me realizing it! | Friend managed to stare down three gorilla-type guys wanting to beat me up, in a foreign country while we were both crazy drunk. How have your friends affirmed your relationship? |
t3_2gpkr0 | relationships | My boss (49f) called me (22f) immature. Do I confront? | I am a nanny. I recently accuired a fantastic job caring for two wonderful kids. Their mother is a workaholic who is very stern and has no idea how children act, or how to handle it.
Today the son (8) told me that his mother said I was immature.
First of all, I am independant and pay for everything that I have. I am immature with the kids, but I'm simply not afraid to get down on the floor and play legos with them. That doesnt seem "immature" to me. I also noticed a strength the children have and that is their creativity on the game, Minecraft .I have broadened their horizons and have showed them games on my xbox like Skyrim and Oblivion. I bring my xbox on fridays to let the kids play. Could this also be considered immature?
My feelings are hurt, should I confront it? Write her an email asking what I did that implied I was immature and not a "grownup"?
Any opinions are welcome! | the kid I nanny, told me his mom called me immature and not a "grown up" Do I confront it? |
t3_46sgi6 | relationships | Is my [26M] GF's [25F] friend greedy or am I wrong? | Hi,
my[26] GF[25] of two years has a good friend who also happens to be a manicurist. Sometimes she does my GF's nails and she is paid for it.
We have invited that friend and her family (husband, kids) over for dinner and my GF would like to have her nails done. Do you think it's normal if my GF's friend insists that she is paid as usual?
1. I do not have a problem if we invite them over as friends (without nail treatment).
2. I do not have a problem if the whole nail thing is handled professionally (without invitation) and that my GF pays her.
3. However, I do find it weird (and personally I would find it embarassing) to show up with the whole family for dinner and then asking for money when leaving.
We've had a big fight over this. What is your opinion? | We've invited my GF's friend (a manicurist)+entire family over for dinner; For doing my GF's nails she wants money when leaving! Is that greedy? |
t3_31sie9 | relationships | My boyfriend [25M] of a year and I [22F] hardly ever argue, except when we are with his family. I can't figure out why this is happening or how to stop it. Help! | My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We communicate well and our conflict resolution styles seem to compliment one another. We rarely disagree on things, and when we do it's resolved with a simple conversation.
Here's the problem:
When we visit his parents, we argue constantly. It's really starting to bother me because I can't figure out why it's happening. I know that his parents see this and think there's no way we are happy together (because his mom has told me). His parents tend to bicker fairly often, but that shouldn't impact our communication, should it? It doesn't matter if it's just his parents, or if it's the whole extended family. We just seem to argue so much more in their presence. The only exception being when it's just us with his brother and SIL. I've also noticed that they (brother and SIL) seem to be holding back from arguing with one another while we're with the whole family, and they are not like this when it's just the 4 of us.
I don't know if it's the stress of seeing his family - I know that they don't *love* us together (probably because we're always arguing!). Or if the family's communication style impacts us. Or if it's just that I'm stressed and little things bother me, and we can't have our simple resolving conversations while we're there.
Any ideas what could be causing it? Or how we can stop it from happening? | Boyfriend and I always seem to be arguing when with family. This is not the case when we are alone or with other people. How can we keep this from happening? |