"TANGO FOR THREE" "Have you heard that Carøe wrote a biology essay about menstruation?" " Have you heard that Carøe wrote a biology essay about menstruation?" "  No, I've never heard that." "  In sixth form." "  To pull girls?" "  Well, I was interested." "  People talked a lot about it." "  It's really cunning." "  Exactly." "  You would never have done that." " No, I wrote about sparrows." " It's true." " About little, Danish sparrows." " I didn't get anything out of that." " Susan is going to take tango lessons." " Really?" " Are you going as well?" " I'd love to, but I can't." " I've got football that day." " I can't do it either, then." " I've started on celebrity karate." "  Celebrity karate." "  Peter Gantzler is our coach." "  Excellent." "  Everybody's nice, apart from him." "  Maybe we could dance together?" "  Let's do that." " I'm in." "  Good idea." "  We'll take turns being the man." " Yeah, that's no problem." " You just take turns." " Isn't it great that I'm going to learn the tango?" "  Let's have a go." "  No." " Now?" "  That's not tango, honey." "  What is it, then?" " No." " Isn't tango more like this?" "  Or what?" "  And then you do this..." " Isn't it?" "  You're a bit drunk, honey." "  No, no." " I'm sorry." "  Sit down, honey." " Oh, no." " Oh, no..." "Are you..." " What are you doing?" "  Let's make love on the floor." "  Let's go to bed." "  No." " We never do this sort of thing." " I'd rather do it in bed." " I'll hurt my knees." "  No, you won't." "  Yes, I will." " And then I don't... no." " I don't feel like it." "  We never do things like this." "  Let's go to bed." "  It's so boring." "  Boring?" " Yes, it is." " Okay, we'll do what we always do." "  I don't want to dance tango." "  No, why should you?" "  It's the girls' idea." "  Carøe doesn't want to, either." "  Quiet!" "  Take it easy." " Sorry?" " It wasn't..." "I didn't say anything." " Go on." " Great, Christian." " He's a ham in a kung-fu outfit." " Stop!" "  What did you say?" "  It was a joke." " A joke?" " What did you say?" " That it's hard to respect a ham in a kung fu outfit." " Is that fun?" " That's a question of taste." " Damn it, Frank." " 20 press-ups." " We don't fool around in martial arts." "  All the way down." "  Come on, Frank." "  Five." "  Come on." " But..." " Taxa Mike, get that foot off me." "  What did you say?" " Did you say Taxa Mike?" " Hit the showers." " Now!" " The rest of you get down and do 50 press-ups." " Thanks, Frank." " Alright, Frankie?" " Alright, Frankie?" " What a pompous jerk." " It's not nice at all." " It's not supposed to be nice." " It's martial arts." " Let's go." " Have you heard that I'm going to work with Michael Laudrup?" " We're going to import wine together." " I'm going over there tomorrow." "  Can I come?" "  Why?" " I'm a huge fan of Laudrup." " I'd love to see his house." "  And say hi." "  You could drive me." " I'd drive to the end of the world to meet Laudrup." " Hi." " How was tango?" " It's the best thing I've ever tried." " I'm really psyched." "  That's great." "  Hi." " It just... it works." " I've been pure woman for an hour and a half." "  It was so good." "  Did Susan like it as well?" " Yeah." " We all loved it." "  There was real tension." "  Sexual tension?" "  Totally." "  Between you and Susan?" " Susan danced with Carøe, and I danced with the instructor." " And he was just..." "He really held me, you know." " Round my back." " And then he whispered to me   in broken Danish." "" Feel the soul of the tango" and so on." " So that I felt..." "I felt it deep down." "  Was Carøe there?" "  Yes." " Why don't you wait here, Frank?" "  Can't I say hi?" "  You don't know him." " I just want to say hi." " I'll bring a book, so I can sit and read." "  It's a unique opportunity." "  Yeah, but..." "Relax, okay?" " Take it easy, Frank." " Easy!" " I'll go in first." "  Okay?" "  Walk, then." "  I can't wait." "  Stop that." "  Hi." " How are you?" "  Hi, Casper." "  Thanks for last time." "  Likewise." "  Michael." "  Frank." " Is it true that you couldn't bring your wives to training camp?" "  Yes." "  Is it because of ejaculation?" " You can't give a maximum performance right afterwards?" " There's been a lot of focus on the issue of sex before a match..." " It's not scientifically proven." "  Frank." " I have to stop you there, because..." "Michael and I have to talk about the wine thing." " Is that okay?" " Great." " Thank you." "  Is it okay if I take a look around?" "  Yes, of course." " MICHAEL, JULY 1971" "Cool  maybe we could get together and have some wine..." " Anytime." "  Anytime." "  Are you finished?" "  Thanks a lot." "  Nice to meet you." "  You, too." "  How do you get out?" "  Like this." " See you." " That went well." " I've got high hopes for that." " Isn't he a nice guy?" " Casper, something terrible happened." " I accidentally broke a plaster figure in the hall." " Damn it, Frank." " Do you know what this is?" "  It said "Michael, 1971"." "  What did he start on in 1971?" "  Come on." "  Football?" " This is priceless." " Why did you have to break it?" "  I just wanted to have a look." "  What with?" " A hammer?" " I just have to do a new imprint." " He'll never find out." " What about Carøe's boy?" " We need to do a new cast, so we need a foot." "  I thought we could use Anton." "  My Anton?" " He's nothing compared to Laudrup." " He's a nice kid, but this is the foot of a football icon." "  It's an emergency." "  I don't give a shit." " Count me out." " I'm not lying to Laudrup's face." " That's really mean." " And what kind of friend   turns up to tango when he said he wouldn't?" " Have you seen José, the instructor?" " Have you seen José, the instructor?" " For girls at that age, it's like last rounds." " A Latino guy like him makes them go crazy." " Do you want me to send Susan there on her own?" " Frank." " I'm going home." " Honey, I've decided to come to tango with you." " Oh." " That's great." " I didn't think you were up for it." " Oh yes." " I just gave the idea a second thought." " When it means so much to you I'd like to go." " Do you think José will be disappointed?" "  Disappointed?" "  Well, you know..." " Oh, is that why?" "  No, it isn't." "  Are you jealous?" "  No, I'm not jealous, honey." " I'm just marking my territory to that Latino monkey." "  Thus far but no further." "  That's great." "  They're bloody good." "  And I can eat them now." "  I'm starting on tango." "  That's probably a good idea." "  To spice up your sexuality." "  Yeah, Mia talked about that." " You're not the type who would do this and then do it on the table." "  You'd fill the dishwasher first." "  You might risk sitting on a fork." " Us Latinos don't think about forks." " We just go for it." " It'll be good, Frank." "  How old do you think he is?" "  Six or seven... eight years." " He's got the right age." " That's the kind of foot we need." "  Go and make an imprint." "  I wouldn't be allowed." "  His mum is leaving." " Do it now." "  I've got it in the car." "  Hey." " Will you keep an eye on..?" "  Yeah." " You look good." "  Hi, Susan." "  You came after all." "  I dare not stay away." "  Right, let's begin." "  Hello." "  Hi, I'm Frank." "  José?" " I've heard about you." "  This is your first time?" "  Did you wear those shoes outside?" "  Yes." "  You have to take them off." "  I didn't bring any spare ones." " If you wear those you risk leaving little stones and sand,   which will ruin both the floor and my shoes." " Okay?" " We'll start with the steps we did last time." " I'll show you once, and then you practise." " Let's try." " In with the leg  back, round and stop." " Excellent, Mia." " Okay?" " Your turn." "  Just try." "  Like this?" "  Hold on properly." "  Well..." " Okay, give it a try." "  Like this?" " No, no, no." " Frank, Frank." " You're not giving her a pulse." " She needs to feel that you're ready." "  It's passion, you know..." "Muy bien." " No, no, Frank." " Look." "  It's my first time, José..." "Feet together." " I'm the man now, and you're the woman." " Grab her." " She needs to feel you." " Don't be scared   of pushing out your pelvis, if you know what I mean." "  Okay?" " Can you feel it?" "  I can definitely feel you." "  Good." " Try it with her." "  Are you upset?" "  Come on." "  Try and concentrate." " Didn't you enjoy it in the end?" "  Not really." "  With the music and all that?" " Why don't we do it here on the floor?" " Alright." " My knees hurt." " But I'll conquer the pain." " We're going Mediterranean now." " What is it?" " You smell a bit sour." " Something isn't quite right." "  Let's have a bath first." "  I don't want to do it now." " Do you want me to stick my tongue in something sour?" " No." " I'm just not turned on anymore." " Why can't you be more masculine and just..?" " I am masculine." " I've just been messing around on the floor." " I went to tango yesterday." " It wasn't very much fun." " When we got home   things got a bit erotic." " But Mia's privates were smelling." "  Have you tried that?" "  Was it salmon or lemon?" " Lemon... with a bit of salmon." " Alexander, listen." " Frank's girlfriend's privates are smelling." " Not entirely salmon-like." " More lemon." " With a hint of salmon." " They've started tango." " Do you think it's the dancing?" " Never mind..." "It's Frank's girlfriend." " They started tango, and now her pussy smells." "  Is that normal?" "  Jimmy doesn't want to hear this." " You can't put yoghurt in the pussy, if it's vaginal thrush." "  Frank's girlfriend's pussy smells." "  I've got my answer now." "  More lemon than salmon." "  Dwarfs don't like it." " Our heads are at that exact height." " It's really overwhelming." " I'm going over to Laudrup's in the weekend." " I need that foot." "  A.s.a.p." "  I'm on it." " Sensei." " I brought cream puffs in order to apologise   for my behaviour last time." "  Why cream puffs?" "  They're really good." "  They're from Summerbird." "  Is it because you think I'm a puff?" " Are you calling me a puff?" " First a ham and now a puff." " No, the cream puffs are meant as an apology." "  20." "  What?" "  Now you really are a puff." "  30 press-ups right now!" "  Come on, Frank." "  We're waiting, Frank." "  Bye, Frank." "  Hi, Alexander." " Hey, Christian, do you have a minute?" "  Can I do an imprint of your foot?" "  An imprint?" "  What do you need that for?" "  I'm doing a scrapbook." "  With imprints of my best friends." "  I'm honoured." "  I need to take my shoes off, then." "  Yes." "  And then you need to stand still." "  For how long?" " A minute." "...  we'll take it from there." " Bye now." " I'm going over to Laudrup tonight, so I need that foot imprint now." " Find a child and make it step into some salt dough   or something like that..." "Right." " Time's up." " That's perfect." " Move your foot." " Yeah, that's excellent." " Thanks." " See you, Christian." " I thought... bye." "  You have to choose..." " That one." "  Whoops." "  Give it to me." "  I'm just teasing you." "  Yes, I can tell." "  Wow..." " It's tango shoes." "  I must say..." " Aren't they great?" " A pair of high-heeled men's shoes." " I'm really happy that you've decided to go." " Thanks." " I'm going to try them on straight away." " I'll show that Argentinian troll!" " I'll show that Argentinian troll!" "  Do they fit?" "  Yeah, the size is perfect." "  They've got much better grip." "  And it's good with the heel." "  Getting a bit higher." "  Don't you feel more masculine?" " They're good." " Really good." "  Hello?" "  Hi, Casper." "  We're practising the tango." "  Oh." "  Frank has only been once." "  Well, he can hold the lady." " Wow..." "Oh, la, la." " Gosh, man!" "  Good stuff." " The foot?" "  Oh, yes." " I'm going over to Laudrup now." "  It's really good." "  Can I see?" " Do you know whose foot it is?" " Little Christian's." " The man?" " The little dwarf?" " Both." " Excellent." " Great, Frank." " Finally something is working out." " Iben said to say that there is this vaginal soap   called Vivag, which is good for vaginal thrush." "  See you." " Bye, bye." "  Bye." " Bye." " Thanks for telling Casper everything." "  How many people have you told?" "  Only Casper." " And Jimmy Jørgensen, Little Christian and Alexander Kølpin." " Thanks a lot, Frank." "  It's good to know about Vivag." "  I knew that already." "  He's wearing shoes today." "  José?" " That's great, Frank." " Okay." " Are we ready?" " Let's step on it." " Perdone." " It's loaded with parking attendants out there." "  It doesn't matter." "  I forgot to set the parking dial." "  We're about to start." "  I need to set the parking dial." " What are you doing, Frank?" " So now everyone has to wait for him?" " Perdone from me as well." "  There was an attendant out there." "  Was there?" " Right, I'm ready." "  Did you wear the shoes outside?" "  I went to set the parking dial." "  And you were wearing those shoes?" "  I didn't change..." " You can't dance in them." "  The car is right outside." " I don't care." " I told you last time." " Didn't I?" " Listen, José." " The shoes are brand new." " I don't want to discuss it with you." " Take them off or leave." "  What's it going to be?" "  I'll leave, then." " Bueno." " Adiós, entonces." "  You'll dance with me, Mia." " Okay?" "  I prefer to dance with Frank." " Por favor." " Why do you want to dance with a dork like him?" " Because he's my boyfriend." " Do you want to dance with me or leave with your dork?" "  I'll leave, then." "  Mia, por favor." "  You can dance with me." " Come on." "  I'd like to dance with Frank." " You bought shoes for me, and then I have to take them off." "  Honey, it's starting." "  This is nice." "  Look what I bought." "  Wow..." "Summerbird." " I'll start from the bottom." " If you want to go to tango without me, that's fine." " I don't want to go to tango." " I've had enough tango in my life." " So have I." ""Michael Laudrup sells an imprint of his foot from his first match   to an Italian businessman for 100,000 kroner."" " Congratulations, Christian." " I didn't know your foot was so valuable." " Neither did I."