Question

When should I tell family members that I'm pregnant? 

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I'm 10 weeks pregnant, and I'm not sure when to tell my parents, my brother, and my husband's parents.  I've had two miscarriages in the past -- both after I told my relatives I was pregnant.  Our families are coming to visit this week.  Should I go ahead and tell them in person, or wait until I'm past the first trimester? 

Mom Answers

I am just 5 weeks pregnant and its our first attempt and first child.  My husband and I are very excited and we have both told our very closest friends but haven't told our family yet.  We plan on telling them very soon.  But want to be able to do it in person rather than over the phone.  I have also told my employer because I work in a dangerous environment and I felt for safety reasons for myself and others that my employer should know. 

I had a miscarriage back in December at 9 weeks and just found out that I'm pregnant again!  I have told my immediate family and best friend but have decided to wait until after my first doctors appointment for everyone else. 

I am on my fourth pregnancy and have only one child.  After my second miscarriage at 12 weeks just last April, we decided that when we got pregnant again than we would atleast get to 11 or 12 weeks and hear the heartbeat before we told anyone.  Really though, I think that it is a personal decision to make.  With our daughter, we started telling people at about 6 or 7 weeks and she arrived as healthy as ever.  We may not wait that long to tell people, but we will try.  Just think of it this way...the people you would tell this early anyway probably are the same ones you would tell if you do miscarry.  We just decided not to tell anyone because that is how we felt, but if we have another mscarriage we will tell those individuals anyway.  Either way is your choice and whatever you decide to do should be okay for you. 

Personally, I get violently sick very early in my pregancy so not telling isn't much of a choice for me.  I've also been blessed to never have a misscarriage.  I'm only 5 weeks but we've told our children (6, 3 1/2) because they've been baby hungry for so long. 
Honestly, it depends on you.  Do you want help and support or do you want to protect yourself/loved ones from sharing the heardache of losing a child? 
When I was 13 years old, my mother suffered a misscarriage.  She went into a deep depression and I didn't know why until 11 years later.  I wish I had know then, so I could have been more helpful and supportive.  All I knew was that my mom was extremely sad and withdrawn for several years after. 

I am now 5 weeks pregnant, and I can't wait to tell EVERYONE!  My husband and I are so excited, however, we have decided to wait until we have our first doctors appointment, if everything looks ok then we will share our excitement with our family.  In case there is a miscarriage, I want my families support and love. 

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and had told everyone.  I feel I told way too many.  I went on to get pregnant again and had a healthy boy.  I was told that at his 10week ultrasound, the likelihood of having a miscarriage is minimal at that point.  I'd wait until your 1st ultrasound and get the statistics from your doctor of another miscarriage.  However, you may need the support of your family if you have a miscarriage. 

Here is what I think, what is going to happen is going to happen regardless of who you tell.  I am so excited to be pregnant that I have told everyone that is close to me.  I hope and pray everyday to have a healthy and happy pregnancy, but what's going to happen is going to happen and I am powerless to stop it.  I want my freinds and family to be happy about my pregnancy and support me if somehintg should happen.  Honestly who you tell does not predetermine what is going to happen in your pregnancy. 

The first time I was pregnant, I miscarried at 5 weeks.  My husband and I told almost no one about it.  I'm glad because it allowed me the privacy to deal with what had happened.  The sympathy of the few who knew actually made it harder for me.  Once I felt ready, I shared what had happened with others.  I think the best thing to do is imagine how you want to handle the grieving process of a miscarriage.  If you prefer people to be there to support you, then let them in.  If you need a moment, keep it private.  I am now six weeks along and will probably wait a few more weeks before we share the news with anyone. 

We are 4-5 weeks and we told our family and friends, hoping for more prayers and blessings (this is our first).  The more prayers are the best!  Do what works for you and keep thanking the Lord for his blessing he has given to you and your other loved one. 

I agree with a previous answer, telling people isn't going to make you have a miscarraige so if you are excited and want to share the news go for it!  I had a miscarraige 2 years ago and am 5 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and we were going to wait and tell people but I couldn't keep it in! 

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