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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

only in the romance movies

Ah, romantic movies.  Perfect for those nights when all a girl wants to do is snuggle up on the couch with a huge tub of ice cream and a box of tissues.  However, here is a list of stuff that only seem to happen in these romantic flicks:

1) The "ugly" nerdy girl transforms into a stunning beauty with a couple of ridiculous modifications. 
We all know about this cliche, so don't pretend you don't.  They cast a pretty girl to play the lead role and to make her seem completely undesirable to everyone, they stick glasses on her (what's wrong with glasses?  I wear glasses.  They're sexy.  Or maybe this is just my insecurity over my poor eyesight talking).  Anyway, they also have her tie her hair up in a ponytail.  Bonus if she has braces, too. 

Ew.  How ugly. 

Finally, at some point in the movie she'll decide to undergo a transformation that merely involves removing her glasses (and never using them again), wearing her hair down and slipping into a sexy little dress.  Of course, the slow-walk-down-the-stairs scene or dramatic-entrance-into-a-room scene is obligatory afterwards. 

"I'm gorgeous now.  Who cares if I can't make out any of your facial features due to my horrible eyesight, I'm not wearing those glasses again." 

2) Completely opposite people are meant for each other. 

Almost half (I think.)  of romance movies have this very plot.  Either a hot cheerleader/successful young woman falls for the loser guy who clearly fails at life or the captain of the football team/successful young man falls for the nerdy, socially-awkward girl.  Of course, it can happen in real life, although quite rarely. 

"I don't care if you don't have an immune system.  We'll make this work.  In the meantime, listen to this awesome guitar cover by yours truly"

3) Dramatic kisses always happen in the rain. 

This doesn't really need much explanation.  There's just something about kissing while freezing drops of rain pummel your body.  Oh, and you get a cold afterwards, too.  Think about all those sick days and all that phlegm and cough syrup.  How romantic. 

Blegh.  Spiderman and MJ get plus points though.  Because Spidey's upside down.  Also because he's Spiderman and I like him. 

4) There's always the lovemaking scene.  Oh, and the L-shaped cover. 

I don't recall a romantic film I ever saw that didn't involve a little romp in the hay.  Usually this is not awkward and is always awesome, wild, and passion-filled.  Also, it always occurs no later than the third date.  And afterwards, everyone assumes this weird position wherein the covers is up to the woman's chin but exposes the man's chest completely. 

"Apparently, people in the film industry think everyone loves seeing a man's hairy chest.  After all, women's breasts are freakin' ugly." 

5) The only way to make things right is to run after him/her. 

Usually, after the main conflict in the film, one of the lead characters will have to leave on an airplane or get married to someone else or drive out of town or whatever that basically means ending the love affair with the other lead character.  At this point, the other lead character who is left behind, suddenly has the sudden realization that he or she cannot live with the other, and rushes as fast as possible to the airport or where the wedding is being held or the edge of town to try and catch the newly-realized love of his or her life before it's too late. 

"Honey.  I ran through airport security, hijacked this stair thingy and am currently about to be shot in the head because everyone now thinks I'm a terrorist.  Also, I love you." 

I honestly do not see the point in all of this.  Why all the effort?  Hasn't anyone in these movies heard of a cellphone?  Just call 'em, profess your undying love to 'em.  Boom!  Happily Every After.  Which brings me to:

6) Love conquers all

No matter what happened in these movies, everything will turn out okay in the end.  All you need to make all your problems go away is a kiss with the one you love and it will seem like nothing else ever mattered.  I mean, everyone will hijack a stair thingy and maneuver it alongside the plane with their loved one who is about to leave forever on board at least once in their life, right? 

That's love for ya. 

Oh and here's a picture of heart-shaped french fries because I love french fries. 

HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm in love with this post.  The odd thing is that I've seen #2 happen.  My Bff is the nerdy, socially awkward girl whose quirky and cute and she ended up with a star football player.  Even more opposite is shes' white girl country and he's a black city type kid.  But they are the cutest couple ever and so smitten!Movies have to be right then ;] except about the hairy chest thing.  thats just gross. 

L shaped covers!  HAHAHA EW!  i never noticed that.these happen in Indian movies, too!  but i do enjoy watching them even though they're all almost the same.  there's something charming about a kiss in the rain. 

Loved this list.  It's all true, and I don't even watch movies that often. It really pisses me off when the ugly girl turns out to be pretty.  Where's the justice in that?  Girls normally have to work hard to look good. -_-  And my glasses aren't sexy at all-they're the old kinds that have the rectangular lenses and thin metallic frames.  The opposites thing is so cliche.  I'm quiet and I don't see any hot guy bothering to talk to me.  D':Love isn't the only thing left in the world.  There's still money.  :D Haha psych.  Your blog is really cool, by the way. 

@Martin Alexander: i know a guy who digs girls with braces, too.  i find this weird.  cute, but weird.  haha.  also, wow, you've kissed in the rain before with a lightning storm in the background?!  awesome.  you're the first person IRL i know of who has done that.  haha.  oh i think they're called L-shaped covers.  ah well.  oh and yes, i saw a video of a seven year old kid being breastfed once.  that was disturbing shizz. 

@Simply. Aya: ooh.  i guess there are some things that do happen in real life.  haha.  and yes, hairy chests are gross. 

@Kuroneko: i still watch 'em once in a while, too.  mainly for the giddy feeling after.  haha. 

@Fiona: i love the webcomic you linked.  :D

@Furree Katt: haha.  i suppose, but after a couple of rain kisses, you get a bit tired of it.  haha.  and yes, french fries! 

@Beyond Timid: true, true.  i guess we have to be more "mysterious" and socially-awkward to get noticed.  haha.  kidding.  thanks for the compliment. :) 

@mayen: thanks!  and yeah, romantic movies are good for that feel-good feeling. 

@Sidrah: yay for spiderman!  haha.  i watch romantic movies every now and then, too.  they're good even with all the cliches.  haha.