DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER -- 09 January 2001

IN THIS ISSUE:
	Darwin Award: COP CAP
	Darwin Award: SLOW LEARNER
	Darwin Award: THIRST FOR DEATH
	Honorable Mention: SHELL NECKLACE
	Personal Account: THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE

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Darwin Award: COP CAP

August 2001, Missouri | When the Pierce City Chief of Police reached
into his trunk and pulled out his shotgun, he should have remembered
to point the gun aside.  But even the best-trained men make mistakes. 
His "quick draw" precipitated a fatal self-shooting when the trigger
caught on a loop of fabric, and he accidentally peppered himself with
bullets. 

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Darwin Award: SLOW LEARNER

Two reminders to fasten your seatbelt before risking your life. 

March 2001, Virginia | Brandon, 21, was driving to the courthouse to
face charges of reckless driving, speeding, driving without a license,
and failure to wear seat belts, when he lost control of his speeding
vehicle.  The Hyundai crossed the median of Interstate 64 and collided
with a truck pulling a flatbed trailer carrying three cars.  As luck
would have it, Brandon had again chosen not to wear his seatbelt. 
He was ejected from the car, and died at the scene. 

March 2001, North Carolina | Justin's tale is more complicated, but
his fate is equally apt.  A failure to wear his seatbelt led him to
18 days in a coma, after he crashed his car at 90 miles per hour and
was ejected from a window.  But that was only the first of his mistakes. 
One year later, Justin was riding with a friend, again sans seatbelt,
when the speeding vehicle careened off the pavement.  Once again
he was involuntarily ejected from the window, only this time
he was killed on impact. 

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Darwin Award: THIRST FOR DEATH

January 2001, New Zealand | The west coast of New Zealand is threaded
with narrow, windy roads that climb and descend the hills at improbable
angles.  A Christchurch driver with little patience for those dangerous
curves was preparing a hot cup of tea in her car when she learned one
last lesson about respect for the road. 

Nothing, but nothing, could keep her from her afternoon tea that day. 
Well all right, one thing could keep her from her tea.  Karma.  While
she was trying to brew a cuppa, her car plunged over a precipice and
into a creek.  The woman was found dead three days later, still holding
a box of teabags, with a mug wedged against the steering wheel and
a thermos of hot water beneath her feet. 

There were no brake marks on the road. 

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Honorable Mention: SHELL NECKLACE

March 2001, Washington | A 19-year-old Spokane man damaged his hand
while attempting to string a necklace of live ammunition.  He was
punching holes in the shell casings using an awl and hammer, when
one of the projectiles exploded in his hands.  Perhaps he should have
collected the shells from the beach, instead of the artillery range. 

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Personal Account: THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE (Thanks Alex!) 

April 1998, Canada | Some people talk smart but act like future
Darwin Award winners.  I had just emerged from my high school chemistry
class, not my best subject.  On my way to the cafeteria, I was joined by
Mr. Junior Einstein, who was happily spouting chemical gibberish.  He
began pontificating on the reactions caused by adding heat to certain
elements such as neon and aluminum.  Once we reached the cafeteria, he
nonchalantly placed his food in the microwave oven.  As it cooked, Einstein
explained that aluminum can explode when heated sufficiently.  As he
talked,
I began to detect the faint scent of smoke in the air, which I mentioned
to my guest lecturer.  As we turned towards the microwave, his jaw dropped
low enough to accommodate a rack of test tubes.  His dish of food was
blazing.  One second later the oven was rocked by a loud Kablaam!  This
candidate for an Honorable Mention suddenly discovered that theoretical
knowledge does not equal practical wisdom.  The chemistry lesson he learned
in the cafeteria was far more valuable: "Don't mix aluminum foil with
heat!" 

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There are a few more new stories on the website:
BASS ACKWARDS  http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-32.html
PUMPED UP!   http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1997-13.html
FIRE ANTS  http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-33.html

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