A blog written in the dead of night and delivered to you in a brown paper bag.  It’s a cornucopia of tidbits, rants, and observations for the discerning eye.  Good luck with all that.  Now, for something completely different! 

Once again, the two dueling democratic candidates split primaries and came out fighting.  Barack Obama has moved within 100 delegates of officially taking the nomination, but Clinton had another very lopsided victory in Kentucky.  Like she has been right along, Hillary vows to stay in the race to the bitter end.  She’s not giving up and wants the country to know it.  Clinton won at least 47 delegates in the two states and Obama won at least 32, according to an analysis of election returns by The Associated Press.  So far Clinton has actually gained more delegates than Obama and trimmed his lead.  All the Kentucky delegates were awarded, but there were still 24 to be allocated in Oregon, and Obama was in line for many of them.  As the primary season comes to an end, it is beginning to appear that neither candidate will actually have a decisive amount for the convention.  Though many, including Obama are claiming he has the nomination sewed up, there still could be some surprises.  Somehow I keep feeling, his overconfidence is going to come back and bite him.  There are some very strong calls for Clinton to stay in, particulary from the Women’s voter base.  They’re taking out ads encouraging Clinton and trying to raise more money and support.  This one certainly is not going to be over until the former First Lady sings.  Or her husband plays sax. 

CHILD ARRESTED FOR DRUNK DRIVING

This story is just wrong on so many levels.  An Arkansas pre-teen faces a drunken driving charge after he and a friend drank his parents’ beer and crashed his stepfather’s pickup truck.  Sheriff Jimmy Dorney said the 12-year-old boy and his 10-year-old friend drove off in the truck May 4 to find a girl they met at a rodeo.  Ok, drunk adolescents chasing an adolescent girl.  This is seriously backwoods south cliche.  The boys made it about 10 miles before the 12-year-old lost control of the truck.  Dorney said the truck hit and jumped over a guardrail, sending it careening 50 feet down a steep hill into a forest.  Clark James, who lives down the road from the crash site, said he answered the boys’ banging at his front door with shotgun in hand about 2:30 a.m. “I opened the door and the first thing the boy said to me was, ‘I’m drunk and I had a wreck,'” James said. “ I looked at him and I thought ‘You’re kind of young to be out drinking.  And you sure shouldn’t be driving.'”  Well that’s a no brainer.  No one was paying attention to these kids?  Was there a NASCAR race somewhere? 

NEW YORK RESTAURANT TOPS BURGER IN GOLD

A good burger is one of my favorite things, but this is a bit over the top-pings.  A Manhattan restaurant is offering a hamburger that costs $175 and is topped with gold.  And I complain about a $6.00 burger.  It’s made of Kobe beef.  It comes with black truffles, foie gras and Gruyere cheese in addition to gold flakes.  What, no mayo?  This shows you how gourmet I am, I’ve never heard of any of this crap other than gold, and I’m not about to eat that.  Wall Street Burger Shoppe co-owner Heather Tierney thinks of it as “a work of art.”  Tierney says the item attracts Wall Street types who down a few beers and then fork over $175 to show off to their friends.  you’d think if they can afford that much for their burger, they’d have something to drink a little more stylish than a brew. 

75 YEAR OLD ATTEMPTS MOUNT EVEREST

75-year-old Yuichiro Miura of Japan is trying to be the oldest man to ever reach the summit of Mount Everest.  This is one guy who doesn’t believe in growing old gracefully.  He is accompanied by his son, Gota.  Yuichiro is a professional skier who in 1970 became the first person to ski down Mount Everest using a parachute as a brake.  Miura was into extreme sports before it was popular.  He was diagnosed a few years ago with a heart arrhythmia.  He says his greatest challenge is how his heart will hold up.  Well, if he doesn’t make it.  I have no doubt that he going to give it his best shot.  No rocking chairs for him! 

URINAL VIDEO GAME FOR TWO

The Belgians have come up with a solution for what to do when you are using the urinal in the public bathroom.  It’s the urinal video game for two.  Two beer fans out there have created a video game called “Place to Pee,” in which players race down ski slopes and kill aliens while whizzing.  Apparently how you aim is how you play the game.  Sensors inside the urinal keeps your game tally.  The game is the creation of software developer Werner Dupont and electrical engineer Bart Geraets, who had consumed considerable beer when the idea dawned on them.  There’s a revelation.  They probably figured out the specs on a beer coaster.  Now you don’t have to experience that uncomfortable silence when standing next to someone in the bathroom.  Play with them instead.  See how well you can score.  Ladies, you don’t have to feel left out.  They’ve invented a special cup attachment just for you. 

I like burgers and I like some “Heavy Metal” but, not on the same bun. 

Can’t wait for the home version of the “potty” game.  Lose points if you don’t lift the lid.  Lose more points if (even while shaking off) urine hits the floor.  Now, for the women’s version of the game………