Below is the letter we received from devout Pastafarian, Micah Cliffe:

Hello mateys! 

As the subject of this email is, I am offended by the sign posted on Bruin walk today (attached).  You see, I am an ordained minister in the Church of His Noodly Appendages, and this flyer is blatantly incorrect, if not hateful. 

I study the holy writings in the Loose Canon, and The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not have a hell in which to burn. 

” Q: If there’s a Beer Volcano and a Stripper Factory in Heaven, what’s FSM Hell like? 

A: We’re not entirely certain, but we imagine it’s similar to FSM Heaven, only the beer is stale and the strippers have venereal diseases.  Not unlike Las Vagas.” 

Please do not give the impression that Pastafarians are a hateful group.  We just want to eat some Italian food and sail the seas as pirates. 

Ramen

Here is the sign in question:

The Bruin Roast would like to apologize for offending Micah and any other Pastafarians, and are in reverence of His Noodly Appendages.