Photo : Jim Mone ( AP )

Kirk Cousins spent his Independence Day somewhere scenic in his home state of Michigan, where he spent his time, uh, grilling some kidneys, apparently? 

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What the fuck is happening here?  What are these perfectly smooth and featureless lumps that Cousins is bringing off the grill without so much as a single grill mark offending their brown-as-hell surfaces?  Are these densely packed burgers?  Misshapen, unidentifiable organs?  Literal clay pigeons? 

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Apparently, he does this type of shit pretty often:


Once again, not a mark on them.  The man loves his polished lumpsteaks. 


Even the dog knows that this isn’t right, Kirk Cousins.