THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL DRESS. 
>> THANK YOU. 
THIS IS A TRICKY DRESS. 
IT IS A TRICKY DRESS. 
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD FOR THE 
VIEWERS AT HOME. 
>> I HAVE TO DO SOME 
ADJUSTMENTS. 
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WANT ME TO 
SHIELD YOU? 
>> YEAH. 
I NEED SOMETHING DOWN HERE. 
THIS IS -- 
>> Jimmy: COME ON. 
LET'S GIVE THE PEOPLE AT HOME 
WHAT THEY CAME TO SEE. 
YOUR LEGS. 
I'M SORRY. 
THAT WAS VERY RUDE. 
>> I DON'T KNOW. 
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM AN 
EXAM. 
>> Jimmy: DOES THIS BOOK TITLE 
MEAN YOU'RE NOT FINE? 
>> I KNOW THIS MIGHT COME AS A 
SHOCK TO SOME PEOPLE BUT I DON'T
HAVE IT TOGETHER, FOLKS. 
>> YOU DON'T? 
YOU SEEM TO ME LIKE YOU DO. 
>> REALLY? 
I'M HANGING BY A THREAD. 
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T GATHER THAT. 
YOU SEEM TO BE, WELL, YOU'RE 
VERY SUCCESSFUL OBVIOUSLY. 
YOU HAVE A LOT OF JOBS AS FAR AS
I CAN TELL. 
YOU'RE WORKING ON THINGS, YOU'RE
PRODUCING OTHER PEOPLE, YOU'RE 
WRITING FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND 
YOURSELF, YOU WRITE A BOOK, 
YOU'RE TOURING. 
>> I'M HILARIOUS. 
ARE YOU DONE? 
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE REASON THAT
ALL OF THESE THINGS COME 
TOGETHER. 
BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY FUNNY. 
YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT, HUH? 
>> THAT'S VERY NICE. 
I THINK I WANTED A BOOK THAT 
REVEALED ALL THE FLAWS AND 
INSECURITIES AND THE MISTAKES. 
SO MANY OF US APPEAR TO HAVE IT 
ALL TOGETHER. 
YOU GO TO INSTAGRAM AND IT LOOKS
LIKE THAT. 
I WANTED TO MAKE IT SOCIALLY 
ACCEPTABLE TO TALK ABOUT OUR NOT
SO GREAT MOMENTS, OUR SHAMEFUL 
MOMENTS, I DID THAT WITH THIS 
BOOK WHICH MEANS I'LL BE SINGLE 
FORE. 
>> Jimmy: IS THAT GENUINELY A 
CONCERN? 
IT SOUNDS LIKE, ARE YOU WORRIED 
ABOUT -- 
>> YEAH. 
YES, I REVEALED SO MUCH IN THIS 
BOOK ABOUT EATING DISORDERS, 
ADDICTION, I DON'T KNOW WHY 
YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING. 
IT HAS MADE A LOT OF THINGS VERY
WEIRD FOR ME. 
LIKE PEOPLE JUST IN GENERAL, I 
FEEL LIKE THEY THINK THAT I'M A 
SAFE PLACE TO ADMIT ALL THEIR 
WEIRD SECRETS. 
>> Jimmy: OH, NO. 
>> AND SHAMEFUL BEHAVIOR. 
PEOPLE COME UP TO ME IN AIRPORTS
AND BLURT OUT WEIRD THINGS THEY 
DO. 
>> Jimmy: LIKE WHAT? 
>> I HAD A WOMAN RUN UP TO ME IN
AN AIRPORT AND SHEGSS, I GO TO 
STORES AND I BUY CLOTHES I DON'T
EVEN WANT JUST SO OTHER PEOPLE 
CAN'T HAVE THEM. 
>> Jimmy: WOW! 
>> I WAS LIKE, I'M GOING TO GO 
GET A CINNABON. 
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ONE OF THE 
CRAZIEST THINGS I'VE EVER HEARD. 
>> I HAD A WOMAN YELL AT ME 
ACROSS A DRIVEWAY. 
SHE GOES, HEY, WHITNEY, I CAN'T 
STOP STEALING. 
[ LAUGHTER ]
COOL! 
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. 
>> Jimmy: DO YOU ADVISE THEM AT 
ALL? 
>> I'M NOT A PSYCHIATRIST. 
I THINK THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 
I'M A CLOWN, A COMEDIAN. 
THERE IS A LOT OF HELPFUL 
INFORMATION THERE. 
I TRIED TO MAKE A SELF HELP 
BOOK. 
MOST ARE WEAK AND BORING AND 
THEY MAKE IT WORSE. 
I WANTED TO WRITE A FUNNY 
SELF-HELP BOOK SO YOU CAN LAUGH 
AND CRY. 
>> Jimmy: DO YOU GET INTO 
MEDICAL THINGS? 
>> DID I THIS ONE THING. 
I ADDED SOME THINGS IN THERE. 
MY THERAPIST REALIZED THAT I 
HAVE AN ISSUE WITH 
CO-DEPENDENCE. 
IT MANIFESTS IN, I HAVE AN 
INABILITY TO SPEAK, FIRST OF 
ALL, BUT ALSO TO SEE RED FLAGS 
IN MEN. 
YOU'VE MET SOME GUYS I'VE DATED. 
YOU KNOW. 
MY PICKER IS OFF. 
>> Jimmy: YEAH, OKAY. 
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 
>> OKAY. 
YOU KNOW. 
MOLLY KNOWS. 
YOUR WIFE KNOWS. 
BUT MY BRAIN WILL AUTOMATICALLY 
TURN A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE 
JUST TO JUSTIFY BEING IN A 
TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP. 
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A GOOD 
THING? 
>> IT'S BAD. 
IT IS AGING ME. 
LIKE I'LL MEET A GUY AND I'LL 
GO, HE'S MARRIED! 
OH, NO, NOT AFRAID OF 
COMMITMENT. 
LIKE THAT'S HOW MY BRAIN WORKS. 
MY THERAPIST WAS LIKE, YOU CAN'T
BE TRUSTED OUT THERE ON THE 
STREETS. 
SO SHE MADE ME START GIVING A 
QUIZ TO THE GUY THAT I DATE TO 
FIND OUT THEIR SUBCONSCIOUS, TO 
FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE. 
AND MY PRODUCER SAID I COULD DO 
IT WITH YOU. 
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH. 
MAY I ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION? 
DO YOU DO THIS, DO YOU DO IT ON 
THE FIRST DATE? 
>> I TRY TO DO IT ON THE FIRST 
DATE. 
>> Jimmy: THAT WON'T HELP 
ANYTHING. 
IF I GOT QUIZZED ON THE FIRST 
DATE, I WOULD BE LIKE, I'M GOING
TO THE BATHROOM AND NEVER COMING
BACK. 
>> WELL THEN I LEARNED 
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW. 
>> Jimmy: GIVE ME THE QUIZ. 
>> DO YOU HAVE A PEN HE? 
>> Jimmy: I HAVE PAPER. 
WE'VE GOT EVERYTHING HERE. 
JIMMY, YOU FAILED. 
SO THE IDEA IS -- 
>> THE IDEA IS FREUD, CAME UP 
WITH THIS TEST. 
IT FINDS OUT THINGS ABOUT 
SOMEONE'S SUBCONSCIOUS. 
WE ALL PRETEND TO BE PEOPLE 
WE'RE NOT. 
I PRETEND I'M DIRTY. 
PEOPLE PRETEND A LOT OF THINGS 
BUT THIS IS THE WAY TO GET THE 
TRUTH OUT IN A SNEAKY WAY SO YOU
DON'T FIND OUT TWO YEARS INTO A 
RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY HAVE A 
SECRET FAMILY. 
>> Jimmy: NOW I FEEL LIKE 
THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE. 
>> MOLLY, I HOPE YOU'RE 
WATCHING. 
>> Jimmy: I'LL TRY TO ANSWER 
HONESTLY. 
>> THE FIRST THING I NEED TO 
KNOW IS WHAT YOUR FAVORITE 
ANIMAL. 
>> Jimmy: A MONKEY. 
DEFINITELY. 
>> I NEED THREE REASONS. 
THEY FLING POOP. 
>> AND TRY TO DO ADJECTIVES. 
>> Jimmy: OKAY. 
SMOKING. 
I LIKE WHEN THEY SMOKE. 
THEY'RE THE ONLY ANIMAL THAT 
SMOKES. 
>> LIKE WHAT ABOUT THE MONKEY? 
>> Jimmy: I LIKE, THEY'RE FUNNY,
I THINK. 
THEY SEEM INTELLIGENT. 
AND THEY ARE A LITTLE BIT CRAZY. 
FUNNY, INTELLIGENT, CRAZY. 
>> CRAZY AND FLING POOP. 
OKAY. 
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF
CLOTHING? 
IT CAN BE A SUIT OR A PAIR OF 
SOCKS. 
>> Jimmy: OF MY OWN. 
>> IT CAN BE ANYTHING. 
IT CAN BE A WEDDING DRESS. 
>> Jimmy: YEAH, A WEDDING DRESS. 
>> IT CAN BE UNDERWEAR. 
>> Jimmy: I KNOW WHAT IT IS. 
I HAVE A TANK TOP THAT HAS THE 
COLORS OF THE JAMAICAN FLAG AND 
I WEAR IT ONLY BECAUSE MY WIFE 
HATES IT SO MUCH. 
[ APPLAUSE ]
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS SAYS 
ABOUT ME BUT I BOUGHT LIKE 12 OF
THEM. 
BECAUSE SHE THROWS THEY WILL OUT
IMMEDIATELY. 
AND THEN I JUST PRODUCE ANOTHER 
ONE AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE 
THEY KEEP COMING FROM. 
>> OKAY. 
WHAT ARE THREE ADJECTIVES TO 
DESCRIBE IT? 
HIDEOUS? 
>> Jimmy: HIDEOUS WOULD BE ONE 
OF THEM. 
RIDICULOUS. 
ANNOYING. 
>> ANNOYING. 
>> Jimmy: I THINK I FAILED THE 
TEST ALREADY. 
>> NO, NO. 
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THEY MEAN IN 
A SECOND. 
THE FINAL ONE IS WHAT IS YOUR 
FAVORITE BODY OF WATER? 
IT CAN BE AN OCEAN, A SWIMMING 
POOL, A GLASS OF WATER, A 
STREAM. 
MINE WAS THE FLEW RIVER IN 
VIRGINIA. 
I WENT WHITE WATER RAFTING. 
>> Jimmy: I KNOW WHAT MINE IS. 
SILVER CREEK IN IDAHO. 
>> OKAY. 
TELL ME THREE THINGS TO DESCRIBE
THAT CREEK. 
>> Jimmy: IT IS PLACID, CLEAR, 
AND TROUTFUL. 
IS THAT A WORD? 
TROUTFUL? 
>> BOUNTIFUL WITH TROUT. 
>> Jimmy: YES, YES. 
>> SO IT'S A -- IS IT MOVING 
THEM? 
>> Jimmy: A LITTLE BIT BUT NOT 
MUCH. 
>> MOVES A LITTLE BIT. 
OKAY. 
SO WHAT THIS DOES IS IT HELPS 
YOU UNDERSTAND THE WAY YOU 
PERCEIVE YOURSELF AND THE WAY 
OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU. 
THE FIRST ONE TELLS YOU HOW YOU 
PERCEIVE YOURSELF. 
>> Jimmy: AS A MONKEY. 
RIGHT. 
>> FUNNY, INTELLIGENT, CRAZY AND
FLINGS POOP. 
WOULD YOU SAY THAT'S HOW YOU 
PERCEIVE YOURSELF
? 
>> Jimmy: IF YOU HAVE HAIRY IN 
THERE, PRACTICALLY MY TWITTER 
BIO. 
>> OR YOUR TINDER BIO. 
>> Jimmy: YEAH, RIGHT. 
>> AND THEN YOUR ARTICLE OF 
CLOTHING IS THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE
PERCEIVE YOU. 
>> Jimmy: OKAY. 
OH, BOY. 
>> PISSES OFF YOUR WIFE, 
RIDICULOUS, ANNOYING. 
THAT WAS NOT, I DON'T KNOW. 
I DON'T KNOW. 
I WOULD HAVE PUSHED YOU TO GO 
FOR SOMETHING BESIDES THE TANK 
TOP BUT I WANTED TO HEAR SO MUCH
ABOUT IT AND ENVISION YOU IN IT 
THAT I WENT FOR IT. 
THE THIRD ONE IS THE WAY YOU 
VIEW SEX. 
>> Jimmy: REALLY? 
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> PLACID, TROUTFUL. 
>> Jimmy: WOW! 
>> AND MOVES A LITTLE BUT NOT 
MUCH. 
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON 
ME! 
LET ME HAVE THAT BOOK. 
ALL THE SECRETS THE LIFE ARE 
RIGHT IN THIS BOOK. 
IT'S CALLED I'M FINE AND OTHER
