"(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "(theme song ending)" "Hi, Rick." " Oh, hiya, Fred." " Is Ethel up here?" " No." " She went out with Lucy." " They went to the home show." " Oh... no." " Why do they have to go and look at those model homes, stuffed with all that fancy furniture?" " It'll only make them unhappy." " I know." " Last year Lucy went to the home show." " Last year Lucy went to the home show." " When she got home, she said all of our old furniture gave her the hives." " It was two weeks before Ethel could walk into our living room without bursting into tears." " When I told Lucy that she couldn't redecorate, she cried all night." " Well, let's face it, we're in for another session with the Sobbsy twins." " I don't know, Fred." " I got a surprise that might, uh, take their minds off of it." " Yeah?" " I managed to get four seats for the new Rodgers and Hammerstein show tomorrow night." " Oh, boy!" " Four of them!" " Hi, honey." "( Lucy sighs)" "Hi, Ethel." " Ugh!" " It's even worse than I remembered." " Hey, hey, honey, I got a wonderful surprise for you." " Sit down, will you?" " Sit down?" " On that?" " How could anyone possibly sit on that?" " Well, honey, it's easy." " You stand up here like this, and you bend your knees, and there you are, huh?" " You know what I meant." " That couch is so... so..." "Comfortable?" " No, no." " It's so dirty, and the-and the springs are lumpy, and it's... oh..." "it's repulsive." " And that desk and that tired, old lamp, and that chair... oh!" "( shivers)" "You think this is bad?" " I have to go down and look at our apartment." " Never mind." " Never mind." " It all stays as is." " But our furniture looks crummy." " It looks crummy because it is crummy." " But it's all paid for, so forget it." " Yeah, and that goes for our stuff, too." " Ricky, you don't really expect" "me to live..." "(all talking)" "I cannot spend one more penny... (all talking at once)" "Wait a minute." " Wait a minute." " Wait a minute!" " Ethel, what are we going through this for?" " We're going to get our furniture." " Oh, yes, I forgot." "  What is this?" "  FRED:" "Look out for a trick." " It's no trick." " The home show is having a big drawing and the winners are each getting five rooms of beautiful furniture absolutely free." "  Yes." "( Fred whistles)" "Oh." " And you two put your names down?" "  That's right." "  Yes." " Oh, well, Fred, help me get this junk out of the way before the new furniture arrives." " Excuse me." " Go ahead, make fun." " You're going to feel pretty silly when we win." " Now, look, honey, sit down, will you?" " Hmm!" " Force yourself." " Now, look, listen to me, will you?" " Do you know how many people put their names down on a thing like that?" " Yes, I do." " Do you know that your chances are one in a million?" "( Ethel and Lucy chuckle)" "A lot you know." " We each made out a hundred cards." " Our chances are one in 10,000." " Now, look, let's forget the whole thing, huh?" " We will until they call us and tell us that we won." " All right, all right." " Now, in the meantime," " I got some real good news for you." " What?" " Well, I managed to get four seats for the opening of a new musical tomorrow night." " Not the Rodgers and Hammerstein show?" " Right." " Oh, honey, how wonderful." " ETHEL:" "Ricky, that's wonderful!" " Uh-oh." " ETHEL:" "What's the matter, Lucy?" " We can't go out tomorrow night." "  Why not?" " What do you mean you can't go out?" " They might call us from the home show." " So what?" " They'll call you back." " Oh, no, they won't." " You have to be home when they call." " Now, look, honey, you know how tough it is to get seats for an opening night, and this is Rodgers and Hammerstein." " I'm sorry, dear." " It's out of the question." " I'm not leaving this house until the home show drawing is over, and that's final." " Hey, Fred." " Gee, I'm glad you stopped by." " I wanted to see you." " Hey, Rick." " What are you doing around here this early in the morning?" " Well, I had a bunch of business calls to make and Lucy won't let me use the phone." " Yeah, I know what you mean." " We may as well forget about that opening night." " Well, I don't know, Fred." " I got a plan on how to get Lucy and Ethel out of the house tonight." " How?" " Make them think that one of them won the prize." " What?" " Well, look, we know that they haven't got a chance anyway." " So all we have to do is one of us has to get to the phone, call Lucy and tell her that she won the prize." " And then make sure that you hang up before she recognizes your voice." " Wait a minute." " Why should I be the one to call?" " Well, Fred, I'd be glad to do it," "I'd love to do it, but she'd recognize my accent in a minute." " You're going to use an accent?" " Never mind." " Now, will you call her?" " Well, okay, okay." " Well, go ahead;" "there's the phone." " Well, now, wait a minute, wait a minute." " I got to get up my nerve." " Oh, Hazel, give me a double-chocolate malted." " I'll see you later." " Hi." " Ethel, what are you doing away from your phone?" " I'm not." " Is it connected?" " Yeah." " Fred fixed it so I could go anyplace in the building." " Where did you ever get such a long cord?" " Well, don't tell the phone company, but every time anybody moves out of an apartment," "Fred swipes the extension cord." " Oh." " Gee, my phone hasn't rung all morning." " I wonder if there's anything wrong with it." " Oh, darn these party lines." " There's always somebody using it." " Well, tell them to get off." " Oh, you know how much good that would do me." " I've had run-ins with these characters before." " Well, it's about time she named the date." " Do you know how long she's been engaged?" " Huh?" " 14 years." " 16 years." " I'll believe the marriage when I see it." " Pardon me, but would you please get off the phone?" " Wait a minute, Agnes." " Miss Big Ears is listening in." " I'm sorry, but the phone is in use." " But this is an emergency." " It's a matter of life and death." " Help, fire!" "  Help, fire!" "  Fire!" " BOTH:" "Help!" " Ah, try something new." " Now, what were we saying, Agnes?" " Oh... there's no use." " I'll bet the home show's calling me right now." " Oh, dear." " Hey, I got an idea." " This worked once before." " What?" " Now, be quiet." "... absolutely." " What else is new, Agnes?" " AGNES:" "Oh, so many things." " Boy, have I got dirt to spill." " Go ahead." " I'm listening." "( imitating both women):" "Oops, there goes my doorbell." " I'll have to call you back." "  Okay, dear, good-bye." "  Okay, good-bye." "( satisfied sigh)" "There now." " Gee, if it doesn't ring soon for one of us," "I'm going to be a nervous wreck." " So am I." "All this suspense is making me hungry." " Well, come on." " Let's go in the kitchen and make a sandwich." " We can hear the phone from there." " Okay." "( phone ringing)" " Hello?" " Hello?" "  Hello?" " Hello?" " It's the home show." "  You got my phone." "  Hello?" " I have not." " This is my phone." " No, that's my phone!" " Ethel, that's my phone." " Hello?" " Hello?" " Yes, this is Mrs. Ricardo." " Yes." " I did?" " I didn't?" " I did?" " Oh... oh, thank you so much." " Oh, yes, yes, I'm very thrilled." " Yes." " Good-bye." " Ethel, I won!" " I won all the furniture!" " Gee, that's swell." " And that's for you, you ugly, old thing." " Oh, Lucy, look what you've done." " You broke off the leg." " I don't care." " I won!" " I won!" " I won all that wonderful furniture." "  And you know what I'm going to do now?" " What?" " I'm going to get rid of all this junk." " I'm going to call a secondhand man and I'm going to have him come over and I'm going to sell him everything but the lightbulbs." " Now, that glue ought to hold it." " Help me set it up." " Okay." "  You ready?" "  Mm-hmm." " Oh... boy, will I be glad to get rid of this junk." "( doorbell buzzes)" "Oh, there he is." " Hide that glue." "  Mrs. Ricardo?" "  Yes." " I'm Dan Jenkins, secondhand furniture man." " Oh, come right in." " Is this the junk you want to sell?" " Junk?" " Why, this is fine furniture in excellent condition." " Yeah..." "Yeah, sure." "( plays piano chord)" "Hmm." " Ah, ah... oh." " Uh..." "This is my neighbor, Mrs. Mertz." " Mr. Jenkins." "  How do you do?" "  How do you do?" " How do you do?" " Well..." "Y-You can see that everything's practically new." " It's hardly been used at all." " Yeah, I see." " She's right." " Many times I've been up here when nobody sat down." " Uh-huh." " You see, I wouldn't dream of selling except that someone's giving us some new furniture." " Well, uh..." "bedroom furniture, too?" " Yes, in there." " Ah." " I don't think he likes it, do you?" " He just wants us to think that." " You watch- when he comes out, he's going to make me a very low offer and I'll just get him to go higher and higher." " You watch." " Mrs. Ricardo..." "Yes?" " Well, I'll take your furniture." " You will?" " Yeah, and I'll give you..." "Oh, I shouldn't go this high, but I took an immediate liking to you, so I'll give you $100." " $100?" " Well, you'd better look again, Mr. Jenkins." " All right, make it $90." " Ninety?" "!" " Oh, that's ridiculous." " Why, this coffee table alone is worth more than that." " Seventy-five." " I'll take it." " Sign the bill of sale, please." " $5... $30, $60... $70 and $5." " Thank you." " I'll have my truck in the neighborhood this afternoon." " Can I pick up the furniture then?" " Oh, well, could you check back?" " I'd kind of like to have the new furniture here before you take this." " All right." " Now, you ladies sure made a sharp deal." " Getting 75 bucks out of me for all this broken-down stuff." " Ooh." " Well..." "I'll just have to make it up on the next customer." " Afternoon, ladies." " LUCY:" "Good-bye." " Gee, I'm sorry." " Well, it really doesn't matter, as long as I'm getting the new furniture for nothing." " Oh." " Gee, you know it's a shame to put all that new stuff in here with this old paint and paper." "  You know what I'm going to do with this money?" " What?" " I'm going to repaint and repaper this whole dingy apartment." " Oh, Lucy, paper hangers are awful expensive." " Who needs a paper hanger?" " Who needs a paper hanger?" " We'll do it ourselves." " We will?" " Sure." " Come on, let's go downtown and buy all the paper and stuff." " Okay, I'll get dressed." " Hurry up, now." "  There." "  Did you get it all?" " Is this everything we need?" " Yep." " Let me see it." " Let me see how it looks here." " Oh, boy!" " Isn't that pretty?" " Oh, boy!" " Isn't that pretty?" " Isn't it beautiful for a bedroom?" " Uh-huh." " It's so dreamy." " Isn't that nice?" " Well, let's get started." " By the time we get to the living room, we'll be professionals." " We got to measure it." " Now, I got to find out" "how much paper there is in each roll." " Okay." " Got to get-- have an idea of how many we need, you know?" " All right." " Okay... there." "  That's-that's about it now, I think." " All right." " Put it down here a minute." " Let's see now." " It's about... that high." " Hold it up." " All right." "( giggles)" "There." " Now we got to put the paste on it." " All right." " Turn it over." " Lay it down on the floor." " Oh, Lucy, it'll get dirty." " Oh, yeah." " Well, you hold it up in front of you and I'll put paste on it that way." "  All right." "  Now be careful." "  Ready?" "  Yeah." " Hold on now." " All right." " Okay." "  Keep it moving." "  Okay." " Okay." "  Keep it moving." " All right." " Keep it moving." " Oh, Lucy!" "  Ethel, I'm sorry." "  Oh..." "You're on the paper!" " I'm sorry, Lucy, but you hit me in the face with that." " Oh, look what you did." " Well, let's straighten it out." " Wait... wait..." "Ethel, we haven't got a lot of paper." " You have to be careful." " Could we use that-that little...?" " Oh, Lucy." " This looks like the biggest chunk here." " Oh... here." " Wheel!" " Oh, we can't use 'Ms." "We'll have to cut another piece." " All right, put it over here." " Oh, that's a shame." " I got that so pretty, too." " Let's try another one, huh?" " All right now." "  Be careful now." "  I will." " There." " Now, that's about it." " There." " Now... turn it over." " Careful." " Okay." " Oh, no, that didn't work." " Put it down on the floor." " Oh, okay." "( both grunt)" "There we are." " Yep." " It'll look so pretty up there." " Oh." " Oh, Lucy." " I'm sorry." " I'm sorry." " I'm sorry." " I'm sorry, honey." " Now leave me alone." " Move back." " There now." " Okay." " There now." "  Now we got to get it on the wall." " Where?" " Right over there in the corner." " Okay, in the corner." " All right." " Listen, you'd better come up here on this side with me." " All right." " Now be careful." " All right." "  Okay?" "  Ready." " Okay, let's go." " What's the matter with you?" " You said over here in the corner." " Well, I meant in this corner!" " Oh...!" " Now take a hold of it." " Okay." " Now, are you ready?" " Now, before we start, which wall do you want it on?" " That wall." " Put it in the middle-- we'll have plenty of room on either side." "  Okay." " Ready?" " One, two, three." " Go!" " How do you get the slack out?" " Not very straight, is it?" " No." " Well, look, we can put the rest of it on at this angle and then it'll be uniform." " You'll have to hang on the mattress to keep from falling out of bed." "( doorbell buzzing)" "Mrs. Ricardo, got my van downstairs ready to pick up my furniture." " Oh, well, uh, my new stuff hasn't arrived yet." " Oh." " Well, I'll call back in the morning, huh?" " Okay." " I'll sure be glad to get rid of this old junk." "  Bye." "  Bye." " Hi, honey." " Oh, darn." " I'd hoped that you wouldn't get home until later." " What's going on?" " Well, I kind of wanted to surprise you, but I won." " The home show called, and I won all the furniture." " Oh, that's nice, yeah, but, uh, what are you doing?" " Well, did you see that man that just left?" " Yeah." " Well, that's Mr. Jenkins and I sold him all of our furniture for $75." "  And Ethel and I are..." " You what?" "!" "  What?" " You what?" "!" " I said, I sold him all the furniture." " Mr. Jenkins!" " Mr. Jenkins!" " Mr. Jenkins!" " JENKINS:" "You calling me?" " Yeah." " Please come back here, Mr. Jenkins!" " Please come back!" " Hurry up!" " Oh, my goodness." " What's the matter, Ricky?" " He gave me $75 for all the stuff." " $75 for all...?" "( whining):" "Oh, no." " Me and my great ideas." " That wasn't the home show calling, that was Fred." " Fred?" " Yeah, Fred." " Ricky, what are you saying?" " Well, I thought it was a nice way to get you out of the house to go to the opening..." "Somebody call me?" " Yeah, Mr. Jenkins, come here, would you please?" " I want to talk to you a minute." " Here, sit down, won't you?" " This is a nice chair here." " Sit down, Mr. Jenkins." " Sit down here a minute." " Listen, Mr. Jenkins..." "Listen... there's been a terrible mistake." " It's all my stupidity." " You see, my wife didn't win the prize at all, and, you see, I thought..." "Uh, I want to get the furniture back." " Oh, fine, that's okay by me." " Thank you." " Give me the $75, will you, honey?" " What's the matter, honey?" " I spent the money for the wallpaper." " Oh." " Well, I'll give you the $75." " Hey, just a minute, Mr. Ricardo." " I'll be glad to sell you this stuff, but certainly you don't expect to get three rooms full of beautiful furniture like this for a measly $75?" " But that's what you paid for it!" " That's true, but I'm in the business." " It isn't just the purchase price." " I got to add my overhead, electricity, rent, insurance, storage charges, advertising." " You haven't moved a stick of furniture out of this apartment." "  Yeah..." " Wait a minute." " Wait a minute." " Lucy, did you sign anything?" " No... only a bill of sale." " Only a bill of sale." " All right, Mr. Jenkins, you paid $75 for the furniture?" " Now, how much all this other stuff that you mentioned?" " What... what does it add up to?" " What?" " What was...?" " Now remember, you haven't moved anything out of the apartment." " Oh, I'm allowing for that." " Better take another look at the furniture." " We've had it an awful long time, and the paint's all off, and it's real ugly, and it's old, and..." "I realize how much these valuable antiques mean to you, madam." " Antiques?" " Lucy, please, you said enough." " Wha..." " All right, how much?" " How much?" "  Well..." "I shouldn't really do this." " I'm taking off every penny I can." " I'll let you have it all for... only $500." " $500!" " That's ridiculous." " I won't buy it back." " I'll get the fellas in the van..." "Now, wait a minute." " Don't hurry up so fast." " Come back here a minute, will you?" " Now, let's compromise, maybe." " How about two, uh...?" " $300 and, uh._...  uh, $95?" " Well, I'm a lousy businessman but, uh, I like the way you sing "Babalu,"" "so I'll take it." " Thank you." " Mira, lo que me pasa a mi, no le pasa a nadie en este pais." " Vende e!" " furniture for $75." " Y lo tengo que comprar ahora por $395." " Ese va ser." " Aqui esta." " Ah, you two are certainly making a sharp deal." " Well..." "I guess I'll just have to make it up..." "Yeah, you'll just make it up on your next customer." " I know." " Well... evening." " Good-bye." " Adios." " Now, Ricky, it wasn't my fault." " I know." " I know." " It's all my fault." " It is?" " Yeah." " Come on, I'll help you carry the stuff into the bedroom." " Come on." "  In the bedroom?" "  Yeah." " Uh, well, we-we really haven't finished papering in there yet, and I, uh..." "What?" " What?" " What?" " What did you say?" " I said, we haven't finished papering in there yet, and..." "Who is "we"?" "" We" is Ethel and Lucy paper hanger." " Oh, this... this I got to see." " No, Ricky." " I won't get mad." " You promise?" " I promise you I won't get mad." "  Promise?" "  Yeah." " Just let me see it." " Now, come on." "  You and Ethel papered the room." " Uh-huh." "  Just the two of you, huh?" "  Uh-huh." " Ricky, what's the matter?" " It makes me dizzy." " Open the window, will you?" " I need some air." " Window?" " Window." " Lucy, what have you done with the windows?" " Now, don't worry." " It's here someplace." " There." " How can you possibly paper over a window?" "!" " Now, Ricky, don't bawl me out." " That's only a minor thing." " Wait till I tell Ethel I didn't win." " What's the matter?" " Where is Ethel?" " Where is Ethel?" " Ethel?" " Ethel?" " Ethel?" " Ethel?" " Ethel!" " What?" " Ethel, the most terrible thing has happened." " FRED:" "Oh, Ricky!" " L'm in here, Fred!" "  What?" " What?" " I was waiting for you to get home." " What happened?" " Lucy sold all the furniture and papered the room, thanks to a very funny phone call." " What phone call?" " Look, don't try to cover it up." " She knows all about it." " No, no, no." " That's what I was going to tell you." " I lost my nerve and I didn't make that phone call." " Then who did?" " It must have been the home show!" " I won!" " I really won!" " I won!" " I really won!" " I really won!" "( I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "ANNOUNCER:" "The pan' of Mr. Jenkins was played by Hans Conried, and the two women by Margie Liszt and Florence Halop."