"People, I have huge news!" " Who's carrying the rest of it in?" " I found a way to improve diner business, and the crazy part is I don't have to fire you two." " Are you gonna clean that dead body smell out of the ladies' room?" " No, that's what plug-in Glade is for." " Okay, remember how that ice bucket challenge caught on with celebrities?" " Han, people did those challenges for ALS, not to get publicity for a diner that Yelp calls," ""A bit of a dice roll."" " Well, I've invented the condiment challenge." " Why, 'cause condoms are a challenge to you and other virgins?" " Earl, you're on fire!" " I'm gonna down ketchup and mustard and then nominate Mr. George Clooney." " If you really want this thing to go viral," "I happen to know that Clooney likes him some spicy sriracha." " All I know is that anal is hot." " His wife's name is Amal, not anal." " I still stand by my statement." " Action!" " Otherwise known as, "Let's get this over with."" " Mr. George..." "Uh-oh!" " I... hot!" " Too hot!" " I actually think that could go viral." " Damn!" " I hit the wrong thing." " Han!" " Han, do over!" " My insides are on fire!" " I love Wednesdays." " I get to erase all the genitalia that was drawn on the cupcake board." " And I love Thursdays 'cause I get to redraw them." " I need some more paper towels." " Oh, I think they're downstairs." " Max, you do fake stairs so well." " I know." " It's the second best thing I fake." " Hey, isn't that Andy?" " My Andy?" " Oh, God, it is Candy Andy." " He's coming over here." " Hey, Max." " Wow." " Your chalkboard has really nice legs." " Hi." "  Hey." "  I know, so silly." " It's just I'm not very good at seeing my exes." " Yeah, or hiding." " How's the candy business?" " Sour?" " Nutty?" " Full of Nerds?" " It's great." " Candy's not going anywhere, like my grandma's knee fat." " So you guys still over at the diner?" " We aren't still at the diner." " This is our cupcake window." " Uh, hello?" " Your shift at the diner started five minutes ago!" " Okay, we're still at the diner too." " We're here, we're there, we're all over." " Like herpes?" "  Nice." "  Yeah." " So what brings you over here besides obviously stalking your ex-girlfriend?" " Actually, I'm looking for a flower shop." " Oh, flowers for a girl you never got over?" " Uh, no, for my fiancée." " Did he just say Beyoncé?" " Actually, I'm getting married." " Coo." " Caroline, I'm sorry." " I was gonna call you and tell you, but then I felt like maybe you wouldn't care." " You know, I mean, it's been a long time." " I hope you're not hurt." " Hurt?" " I'm hurt." " Hurt that you didn't ask me and Max to do your wedding cake!" " Oh, God." " I'll be downstairs." " Well, yeah." " Actually, Romy and I haven't decided on a cake yet." " You know, she's pretty busy." " She runs her own business." " Ohh!" " Oh!" "" The Business Bride."" " Wasn't that Katherine Heigl's last movie?" " The one that brought her back to TV?" " Max, can you please come back upstairs?" " I'm waiting for the elevator!" " Is that Candy Andy?" " Well, well." " You two getting back together again?" "  Oh, I'm getting married." "  To someone else." " Oh, Lord, this is why I don't like to be outside." " Well, I gotta run." " Not really." " I'll be walking away." " But if you're serious about the cake..." "So serious." " Major ser-i-osity!" " In fact, it's our wedding gift to you." "  Oh, God." "  Max, stop." " There is no downstairs." " Yeah, it's not possible to get any lower than this." " Okay, well... how about I text you after I talk to Romy?" " It was great seeing you, Caroline." " You too, Max." " You guys are gonna watch my butt as I walk away, right?" " You gonna make it clap for daddy?" " I cannot make it clap, but I can make it go, "Whoo!"" " Um, couple things." " One, he's still hot." " And two, are you insane?" " You want us to do your ex-boyfriend's wedding cake?" " Max, I broke up with him." " Remember?" " I'm a mature, evolved, sophisticated, sexy but not in your face about it woman." " I can handle this." " I think it's a bad idea." " And I know bad ideas." " I was one." " I... broke up... with him." " Dramatic... talking... is... annoying." " How's it going there, hot stuff?" " Is your tongue working?" " I'm gonna think of another video to go viral to set this place on fire, and if not," "I'll eventually have to set this place on fire." " Either way, I'm not giving up." " You tell your clothes that?" " 'Cause they didn't get the memo." " Get this." " Andy says that he and Romy would love to meet us to talk about wedding cakes at their loft in Manhattan." " Queen Romy has summoned us to a cake tasting at their loft!" " Uh, can I borrow your phone for a sec?" " There." " I deleted his text." " I deleted his number." " I also deleted my number." " We aren't doing this." " You are not that cool." " Everyone knows that." " You're not." " Cool girls don't freak out when you cop a feel in the freezer." " Oh!" " Oh!" " You know his number by heart." " This has nothing to do with my heart." " It's business." " I broke up with him." " It's like you don't know that I broke up with him." " I broke up with him." " Didn't know if you caught that 'cause my back was to you." " Hey, everybody!" " Good news!" " My baby was delivered today." " Oh, my God!" " Did I black out for nine months again?" " The baby didn't come out of my box, Earl." " It came out of this one." " Wow, you can really get anything on Amazon." " It's called a "Maybe Baby."" " While Oleg and I are trying to get pregnant, we're gonna use it to practice for the real thing." " So you're having a key-section?" " Strangely, this is not the weirdest birth we've seen at the diner." " Do you like him?" " Weren't you the baby in "American Sniper"?" " Yeah, it's got a computer inside to keep track of our parenting skills." " And if we get a score of over 92, we get 20% at Papa John's." " Any Papa John's!" " Well, you're having a fake baby for all the right reasons." " The baby's here?" " Aww, you're a father." " Think fast!" " Aww!" " Our first father-son catch." " Let's get to know each other... "Bob"?" " All they had left were the white babies." " The single actresses over 40 snap up all the minorities." " Hey, Max." " Could you maybe babysit my Maybe Baby tomorrow?" " You know, 'cause I-I really need some me time." " Fine.  20 bucks an hour." " Extra in case he orders some adult movies" "I've been wanting to see." " Okay, Max, wash your fancy sweatpants." " We are confirmed for Andy and Romy's wedding cake tasting for tomorrow." " Andy?" " You mean that cute guy that you ruined your relationship with?" " Sophie, it wasn't the right relationship." " He didn't support my career." " The cupcake thing?" " Pickup!" " Like father like son." " Thank you guys so much for coming." " These cakes look so lovely." " They are." " Really nice place you got here." " I noticed there was a door on the bathroom." " I don't want to brag, but check out all the outlets we got." " Lot of power." " Two-prong, three-prong." " You got one of those weird European plugs?" " Bring it." " How funny is he?" " Oh, the funniest." " Oh, God." " So, Romy, it looks like you travel a lot." " I love all your..." "Objet d'art." " Oh, God." " I'm a hat designer, so I go to Malaysia and Sri Lanka a lot for materials." " I'm poor, so I go to McDonald's and Taco Bell a lot for my meals." " Oh, show 'em one of your hats, Romes." " The purple one Pippa Middleton wore in "Star" magazine." " Oh!" " Pippa Middleton, wow." " She was up for a job on "The Today Show,"" "but she didn't get it." " Andy, they don't want to see my hats." " Oh, Andy wants us to see your hats." " Let's see your hats." " Oh, this guy was there when no one believed in me, and he supported me in every way, and now I'm in over a hundred department stores worldwide." " Worldwide?" " That is wide." " You know the tasting is for them, right?" " Come on, let 'em see what you do." " Sorry, I'm a proud fiancé." " It's a little unmanly, but it's m'thing." " Ooh, I'll go get Black Dahlia." " Max will like that one." " Oh!" " You okay?" " Absolutely." " We didn't work out, you found someone great, supported her business, and now you're getting married." " Pretty sure he meant, "Are you choking?"" " Yup, that's where I was headed." " Caroline, you broke up with me." " She broke up with you?" " I hadn't heard that." " See?" " All bitter... better." " Max, do you want to try it on?" " Ahem, she doesn't need a hat." " Romes said I could have the sweet hat!" " Oh, it looks adorable on her." " You should have it." " What is this, a hat tasting now?" " Well, it's not a cupcake tasting anymore 'cause you ate them all." " You guys are hilarious." " I don't need to taste those." " You and Max are a part of Andy's past, and I would honored if you'd do our cake and come to the wedding as our guests." " Oh, that is a great idea." " Hey, there will be a lot of self-destructive man-children there." " Max, feels like your kind of party." " And it's on this awesome yacht." " You know, technically it's not a yacht unless it's over 40 feet." " Is it?" " Okay." " Come on." " It'll be fun." " Gah!" " I don't know." " And I'm not really into fun." " You know, I've had fun and it's not that fun." " Got it." " What was I thinking?" " Be weird for you, Caroline, right?" " Weird?" " Weird if we didn't come!" " Oh, God." " Look at this, Max." " Cupcakes and candy." " This could have been me and Andy's cake." " Our perfect cake for our perfect marriage." " No marriage is perfect..." "except Ice-T and Coco." " Now, he's not perfect." " You broke up with him for a reason." " Andy's out there now." " Come here." " Music at a wedding?" " How original." " Oh, there he is." " He looks so handsome in a tuxedo." " Calm down." " So does Jane Lynch." " He's not perfect." " Look, there." " He's going in for a nose pick." " No, just a scratch." " He has such nice hands." " Big hands." " And there's gonna be a ring on it soon." " He's looking over here!" " Oh, oh!" "  He can't see me cry!" "  Okay, come on." " Think of something bad about him." " Think, think, think, think, think." " Uh... he always took too long to finish during sex!" " Oh, wait." " That's a good thing." " It is?" " All right, come on." " There had to be something terribly wrong with that relationship." " There was." " That I ended it." " I kicked the perfect guy for me out of my life." " Yup, here come the tears." " And here comes Andy!" " Uh, do you have a bathroom?" " Oh!" " Hey!" " Thought I saw you guys peeking out of here." " So you guys act weird everywhere?" " Yup, that's our signature." " Got us bounced out of Six Flags." " Where's Caroline?" " The pretty ladies' room." " Hmm." " So it looks like you're getting married to Not Caroline." " How's she doing?" " I'm getting the feeling this has been hard for her." " Temperature check." " Okay, I don't understand." " Are you asking me to bend over?" " What if Caroline thought she might have made a mistake by breaking up with you?" " Would you consider being a runaway groom and giving it another shot with her?" " Just a thought." " Well, I guess I'd have to say it's too late." " I'm getting married to Romy." " I love her." " So that's a firm no?" " Uh, Max." " All yours now." " How about we pretend like none of this happened and you guys come watch me get married, okay?" " Andy, wait." " I'm sorry." " I really am happy for you." " Go live your life." " I wish you well." " Thank you." " That means a lot to me." " Um..." "I really did love you." " I know." " Even though you broke up with me." " Yeah, even though I broke up with you." " I did it." " I didn't cry." " Max, what's wrong?" " You could have had it all!" " Max, I've never seen you cry." " I'm sorry, but maybe he was the perfect guy!" " And he loved you!" " You heard him!" " Max, it's okay." " Nobody gets it all." " Max, turn around and look at me." " No, I don't want you to see me cry." " Max, turn around." " This hat doesn't even work!" " Oh, hey, I was just looking for the bathroom." " I wanted to get stoned before Andy got hitched." " You got some love for me and my friend here?" "  We need it." "  Whoa." " They put candy on Andy's wedding cake?" " Brutal, dude." " Why is it brutal, dude?" " 'Cause of the bald spot where I ate the gumdrops?" " No, I mean with Andy's business in the toilet." " Andy's business is in the toilet?" " Yeah, he had to close it down, but it's cool." " Romy's, like, loaded now." " I can't believe Andy didn't tell me his business was in the toilet." " Oh, bummer." " Looks like I gotta do this wedding thing sobes." " As long as it's not me, right?" " That stoner, who I can easily see having very sloppy sex with later, just saved the day 'cause now we know Andy lied to you." " And I wouldn't want to be with someone who can't be honest." " See?" " He is so not perfect." " You so would not have had it all." "  Caroline." "  Andy?" " I'm kind of in a hurry but I think you should know something." " I lost my business." " I didn't want to tell you because I was too proud." " I wanted you to think my life was perfect, and it's not." " I mean, it's great, but it's not perfect." " Okay, I gotta go get married." " See you out there." " All right, so he's perfect." " I guess I'm not taking this dress back 'cause we're swimming home." " We're not swimming." " We're gonna take the "I hate my life" boat." " Um, big news." " Andy and Romy are in Mexico for their honeymoon." " Weather forecast?" " Cloudy with a chance of diarrhea." " Um, can I borrow that for a sec?" " Oh, you're on her Instagram." " Cute." " Good-bye." " You unfollowed her?" " Now it's gonna look like I'm jealous and can't handle their happiness." " Ya can't!" " Hey, everybody!" " Look!" " I got our report card back from the Maybe Baby people!" " We passed the test!" " We're gonna be solid "C" parents!" " Well, that's a better grade than the diner got." " I'm gonna miss that little guy." " What I'm not gonna miss is fighting it to get to Sophie's boob." " Okay, people." " Are you leaving?" " I hope it was something I said." " Well, I have a video that is sure to go viral." " I'm gonna stuff myself in this suitcase for the Williamsburg Diner challenge." " Caroline, you film it this time." " Max, you zip me up." " And I thought I'd be the first one to die here." " I, Han Lee, nominate Mr. George Clooney to the Williamsburg Diner challenge of packing yourself in a suitcase." " I'm also a fan of "The Men Who Stare At Goats."" " Let 'er zip, Max!" " Han... consider this my birthday present." " I got my Papa John's gift certificate." " Mama Sophie wants to buy pizza for everyone!" " Well, now is as good a time as any." " Hello?" " Are you filming?" " Hello?" " Don't tell George Clooney!" " Anyone?" " Are you filming?"