Letters I'll Never Send

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It’s been so long since I’ve actually talked to you, and here’s everything I can never tell you… You ask me how I’m doing.  Truth is I’m not doing very well.  My smile hides it all.  My life has completely crashed down around me.  A couple months ago I tried to kill myself, and now I’m just wishing that I was successful.  I just don’t want to live anymore.  My family hates me, I have no friends, my career is down the toilet, no one cares that I’m here.  I just want to disappear.  It wouldn’t make a difference if I wasn’t here.  I just want to stop hurting.  I can’t take any more pain.  There’s no hope for me, and there’s no point in me being here anymore.  I guess life isn’t for everyone. 

8 Responses to Everything I Can Never Tell You

been here

July 22, 2014 at 1:50 pm

Just want you to know, its normal to feel thatway in your circumstances and only u can change them.  One day, wake up and OWN YOUR LIFE.  reinvent yourself.  I have.  I was reborn at a church and live for Jesus. 
i have a new family.  And life is not the same but its better.  My ex would never recognize me. 

You should actually send this.  If they are asking, they obviously care.  Seems to me that they are a friend.  Also, depression can warp a persons view on their surroundings.  Things usually aren’t as bad as it seems to be.  Suicide is never the answer and life is for everyone granted it.  Talk to someone about your depression. 

You are here for a reason.  People do care.  You are going through hard times.  It will get better.  Dont give in.  Stay strong and overcome.  Be the positive influence to another person in the future that feels like you do now.  If you arnt here then they wont get to hear your story that just might be the only thing that makes them rise above it. 

Dear author, I know we’ve never met but I have gone through some similar things that u have.  Just want to let u know that I’m here for u and things will get better.  Everything is gonna be okay.  U r not alone.  Take heart.  These times r what’s making u a stronger person.  U have what it takes to overcome.  Love anewday

Try to imagine you’re at the end of your life and you’re looking backwards.  You could say…

There were hurdles so high that I thought the best thing would be to die.  There were times I thought I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was completely alone, nothing was left and it would have been the easiest thing to give up.  I didn’t give up.  I took my steps every day.  I kept fighting.  I didn’t know, if my efforts would lead me to success.  I didn’t know, when or if I could ever be happy again, but I didn’t stop believing and I just kept going.  This belief helped me to get out and I did get out.  I’m proud that I never gave up. 

I’m going through a similar ordeal.  Everything seems rather hopeless.  I don’t know what the future holds for me, but in reality nobody else knows that for themselves either.  I can plan things but they usually don’t fall together exactly how I’d like, which is how it is for everyone else as well.  I’m just trying to take things one day at a time.  I’m seeing a counselor for depression and dependency as well as attending an anger management group. 

My point is that you need to have people you can talk to, people who can really help you find the right direction.  I’ve found that family and friends tend to just tell me what I want to hear in these situations, so I can’t take my problems to them.  Sometimes you can only take a small step forward at a time.  Another replier mentioned having to reinvent his or her self, that might be what you need to do.  Just don’t give up on yourself or on life because I’m sure there is a lot of beauty in both.  As difficult as things are for you, try to enjoy some of the more simple things in life; spend some free time in nature and try to take it all in.  Also, try not to beat yourself up and don’t focus on the things that you feel/know you did wrong.  Instead, try to focus on what you did right and build upon your strengths.  Be well, don’t give up, and love life.