So Yahoo recently published a list from Cosmo – which was probably written in between a Lifetime movie marathon – of the top lies that men tell women and why all women should be skeptical if they ever hear them, and I think this list warrants discussion.  Let’s talk about these top ten lies, shall we? 

Lie # 10: “I’m Stuck in Traffic”

Who lies about being in traffic? 

Lie # 9: “It Wasn’t That Expensive”

Hell yeah I bought the top of the line Nerf gun. 

Lie # 8: “I’m on My Way”

OK, this might be the only lie I agree with; 99% of the time I run late to absolutely everything. 

Lie # 7: “I Didn’t Have Too Much to Drink”

Me?  I’ve never had too much to drink, baby. 

Lie # 6: “Sorry, I Missed Your Call,”

I can’t apologize for missing your call now?  Listen, if it’s automatically assumed that I’m cheating on you we’ve got an issue. 

Lie # 5: “My Battery Died,”

Uh baby, you know I’ve got an Android with that crappy Ice Cream Sandwich business.  You’re lucky I can send 5 texts without it dying. 

Lie # 4: “I Had No Signal”

Uh baby, I’ve got an iPhone, we literally never have signal.  Oh I’m going in a tunne…. 

Lie # 3: “No, Your Butt Doesn’t Look Big in That”

Two approaches here: 1) why would any man ever say this?  What’s wrong with a big butt?  2) Maybe you could pick up jogging? 

Lie # 2: “This Will Be My Last Beer”

Tolaty.  This beeerr will comlpetrly be tha lasst one 2nithgre.  luh u babii

Lie # 1: “Nothing’s Wrong, I’m Fine”

Oh so you can lie about this one and I can’t?  I smell a double standard, ma’am. 

I think that’s a fair translation, right?  What do you all think?  Are these legit lies?  Are they missing some?