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Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Aint been round since you know when Christmas time is here again O-U-T spells out Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Aint been round since you know when Christmas time is here again O-U-T spells out Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Christmas time is here again Aint been round since you know when Christmas time is here again O-U-T spells out This is Paul McCartney here. Id just like to wish you everything youd wish yourself for Christmas This is John Lennon saying, on behalf of The Beatles, have a very Happy Christmas and a good New Year George Harrison speaking. Id like to take this opportunity of wishing you a very Merry Christmas, listeners everywhere This is Ringo Starr and Id just like to say Merry Christmas and a really happy New Year to all listeners And Christmas time is all And your bonnie clay us through Happy breastling to you people All our best from me to you When the beasty brangom To the heather and little inn And be strattened oot in ma tether To yer arms once back again Och away, ye bonnie

You know you made me cry I see no use in wondering why I cry for you And now youve changed your mind I see no reason to change mine I cry its through, oh Youre giving me the same old line Im wondering why You hurt me then Youre back again No, no, no, not a second time You know you made me cry I see no use in wondering why I cry for you And now youve changed your mind I see no reason to change mine I cry its through, oh Youre giving me the same old line Im wondering why You hurt me then Youre back again No, no, no, not a second time Not a second time Not a second time No no no no no Not a second time

Well how come you say you will when you wont Say you do, baby, when you dont? Let me know honey how you feel Tell the truth now, is love real? But ah ah well honey dont, well honey dont Honey dont, honey dont, honey dont I say you will when you wont, ah ah, honey, dont Well I love you, baby, and you ought to know I like the way that you wear your clothes Everything about you is so doggone sweet You got that sand all over your feet But ah ah well honey dont, honey dont Honey dont, honey dont, honey dont I say you will when you wont, ah ah, honey, dont (Ahh rock on George, one time for me! I feel fine, mmmhm. I said...) Well sometimes I love you on a Saturday night Sunday morning you dont look right Youve been out painting the town Ah ah baby, been stepping around But ah ah well honey dont, I said honey dont Honey dont, honey dont, honey dont I say you will when you wont, ah ah, honey, dont Well honey dont, well honey dont Uh little, little honey dont I say you will when you wont, ah ah, honey, dont

Look what youre doing, Im feeling blue and lonely Would it be too much to ask of you What youre doing to me? You got me running, and theres no fun in it Why should it be so much to ask of you What youre doing to me? Ive been waiting here for you Wondering what youre gonna do And should you need a love thats true Its me Please stop your lying, youve got me crying, girl Why should it be so much to ask of you What youre doing to me? Ive been waiting here for you Wondering what youre gonna do And should you need a love thats true Its me Please stop your lying, youve got me crying, girl Why should it be so much to ask of you What youre doing to me? What youre doing to me? What youre doing to me?

Oh, komm doch, komm zu mir Du nimmst mir den Verstand Oh, komm doch, komm zu mir Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand Oh, du bist so schön Schön wie ein Diamant Ich will mit dir gehen Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand In deinen Armen bin ich glücklich und froh Das war noch nie bei einer anderen Einmal so Einmal so Einmal so Oh, komm doch, komm zu mir Du nimmst mir den Verstand Oh, komm doch, komm zu mir Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand In deinen Armen bin ich glücklich und froh Das war noch nie bei einer anderen Einmal so Einmal so Einmal so Oh, du bist so schön Schön wie ein Diamant Ich will mit dir gehen Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand Komm, gib mir deine Hand

Dont dig no Pakistanis taking all the peoples jobs Oh, get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged! Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged! Oh ne nu ne nu was a Puerto Rican born in na na na na na All the folks around said Boy, he a Mohican living in the U.S.A Get back, oh get back, get back to where you once belonged! Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged! Wooo! Get back, oh get back, get back to where you once belonged! Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged! Sidi of the west was a Pakistani living in the mmmm.. All the folks around dont dig no Pakistanis taking all the peoples jobs so Get back, oh get back, get back to where you once belonged! Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged! Wooo!

I dont want to spoil the party, so Ill go I would hate my disappointment to show Theres nothing for me here, so I will disappear If she turns up while Im gone, please let me know Ive had a drink or two, and I dont care Theres no fun in what I do when shes not there I wonder what went wrong, Ive waited far too long I think Ill take a walk and look for her Though tonight shes made me sad I still love her If I find her, Ill be glad I still love her I dont want to spoil the party, so Ill go I would hate my disappointment to show Theres nothing for me here, so I will disappear If she turns up while Im gone, please let me know Though tonight shes made me sad I still love her If I find her, Ill be glad I still love her Though Ive had a drink or two, and I dont care Theres no fun in what I do if shes not there I wonder what went wrong, Ive waited far too long I think Ill take a walk and look for her

When Im walking beside her People tell me Im lucky Yes, I know Im a lucky guy I remember the first time I was lonely without her Cant stop thinking about her now Every little thing she does She does for me, yeah And you know the things she does She does for me, oooh When Im with her Im happy Just to know that she loves me Yes, I know that she loves me now There is one thing Im sure of I will love her forever For I know love will never die Every little thing she does She does for me, yeah And you know the things she does She does for me, oooh Every little thing she does She does for me, yeah And you know the things she does She does for me, oooh Every little thing Every little thing

My love dont give me presents I know that shes no peasant Only ever has to give me Love forever and forever My love dont give me presents Turn me on when I get lonely People tell me that shes only Fooling, I know she isnt She dont give the boys the eye She hates to see me cry She is happy just to hear me Say that I will never leave her She dont give boys the eye She will never make me jealous Gives me all her time as well as Loving, dont ask me why Shes a woman who understands Shes a woman who loves her man My love dont give me presents I know that shes no peasant Only ever has to give me Love forever and forever My love dont give me presents Turn me on when I get lonely People tell me that shes only Fooling, I know she isnt Shes a woman who understands Shes a woman who loves her man My love dont give me presents I know that shes no peasant Only ever has to give me Love forever and forever My love dont give me presents Turn me on when I get lonely People tell me that shes only Fooling, I know she isnt Shes a woman Shes a woman Shes a woman Shes a woman Shes a woman

You tell lies thinking I cant see You cant cry cause youre laughing at me Im down Im down Im down How can you laugh when you know Im down When you know Im down Man buys ring, woman throws it away Same old thing happen everyday Im down Im down Im down How can you laugh when you know Im down? When you know Im down? Were all alone and there nobody else You still moan, Keep your hands to yourself! Im down Oh baby, Im down Im down How can you laugh when you know Im down? When you know Im down? Wow! Baby, Im down Oh baby, you know Im down Oh yes, Im down Im down on the ground Ah, down Oh baby Im upside down, a yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Im down Oh baby, Im down Im feeling upside down Ooh, Im down Baby, Im down yeah Oh baby, Im down, yeah Baby, Im down Well baby, Im down Well, baby baby baby Oh baby, Im down Im down, down, down, down, down, down

You know my name Look up the number You know my name Look up the number You you know you know my name You you know you know my name Good evening and welcome to Slaggers Featuring Denis OBell Come on Ringo, lets hear it for Denis Good evening You know my name Look look look up the number You know my name Thats right, look up my number You you know you know my name You you know you know my name You know my name Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Look up the number You know my name Thats right, look up the number Oh you know you know you know my name You know you know you know my name Huh huh huh huh You know my name Ba ba ba pum Look up the number You know my name Look up the number You-a you know you know my name Baby you-a you know you know my name You know you know my name You know you know my name Oh, lets hear it!! Go on Denis, lets hear it for Denis OBell You know my name You know you know my name You know you know my name Prrr you know my name and the number You know my name and the number you know you know my name Look up me number You know my number three you know my number two You know my number three you know my number four Oh you know my name you know number too You know my name you know my number Whats up with you? You know my name Thats right? Yeah

A bad little kid moved into my neighborhood He wont do nothing right, just sitting down and looks so good He dont want to go to school and learn to read and write Just sits around the house and plays the rock and roll music all night Well, he put some tacks on teachers chair Puts chewing gum in little girls hair Now, junior, behave yourself Buy every rock and roll book on the magazine stand Every dime that he gets is lost to the jukebox man Well he worries his teacher till at night shes ready to poop From rocking and a-rolling to spinning in a hula hoop Well this rock and roll has got to stop Juniors head is hard as rock Now, junior, behave yourself Ooh! Ooh! Gonna tell your mama you better do what she said Get to the barber shop and get that hair cut off your head Shoot the canary and you fed it to the neighbors cat You gave the cocker spaniel a bath in mothers laundromat Well, in mamas head its got to stop Juniors head is hard as rock Now, junior, behave yourself We all miss you; You miss them? Yeah! The Beatles miss you; all the Beatles missed you Now, junior, behave yourself

Little child, little child Little child, wont you dance with me? Im so sad and lonely Baby take a chance with me Little child, little child Little child, wont you dance with me? Im so sad and lonely Baby take a chance with me If you want someone To make you feel so fine Then well have some fun When youre mine, all mine So come, come on, come on Little child, little child Little child, wont you dance with me? Im so sad and lonely Baby take a chance with me When youre by my side Youre the only one Dont you run and hide Just come on, come on Yeah come on, come on, come on Little child, little child Little child, wont you dance with me? Im so sad and lonely Baby take a chance with me Baby take a chance with me Baby take a chance with me

Well they took some honey from a tree Dressed it up and they called it me Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby, now Woke up last night, half past four Fifty women knocking on my door Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby, now Went out last night, I didnt stay late Before I got home I had nineteen dates Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby, now Went out last night, I didnt stay late Before I got home I had nineteen dates Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby, now Well they took some honey from a tree Dressed it up and they called it me Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby Everybodys trying to be my baby, now

Oh yeah, oh yeah Oh yeah, oh yeah Imagine Im in love with you Its easy cause I know Ive imagined Im in love with you Many, many, many times before Its not like me to pretend But Ill get you, Ill get you in the end Yes I will, Ill get you in the end, oh yeah, oh yeah I think about you night and day I need you and its true When I think about you, I can say Im never, never, never, never blue So Im telling you, my friend That Ill get you, Ill get you in the end Yes I will, Ill get you in the end, oh yeah, oh yeah Well, theres gonna be a time When Im gonna change your mind So you might as well resign yourself to me, oh yeah Imagine Im in love with you Its easy cause I know Ive imagined Im in love with you Many, many, many times before Its not like me to pretend But Ill get you, Ill get you in the end Yes I will, Ill get you in the end, oh yeah, oh yeah Oh yeah, oh yeah Woah yeah

Ah, Kansas City Going to get my baby back home Yeah, yeah Im going to Kansas City Going to get my baby back home Yeah, yeah Well, its a long, long, time Since my babys been gone Ah, Kansas City Going to to get my baby one time Yeah, yeah Im going to Kansas City Going to get my baby one time Yeah, yeah Its just a one, two, three, four Five, six, seven, eight, nine, wah Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, baby, woo no clown I say youre no clown Now, now, now, now Tell me baby Whats been wrong with you Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, now, baby, woo no clown I say youre no clown Now, now, now, now Tell me baby Whats been wrong with you Well, Ill say bye Bye, bye, baby bye, bye Oh, so long Bye, bye, baby Im gone Yeah, I said Bye, bye, baby, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye Well, Ill say bye Bye, bye, baby bye, bye Woo, so long Bye, bye, baby, Im gone

In the name of Preverti, daughter of the mountains ¶ 0:09 - 0:13 whose embrace with Rani made the whole world tremble. 0:13 - 0:15 Tremble! 0:15 - 0:17 Tremble. 0:17 - 0:19 Whose name is the Terrible. 0:19 - 0:24 Whose name is Baleful. Whose name is inaccessible. 0:24 - 0:28 Whose name is the Black Mother, mother of darkness. 0:28 - 0:32 Kaili! 0:32 - 0:38 We turn our hearts to Kaili, Drinker of blood, Black Mother. 0:38 - 0:41 Kaili! 0:41 - 0:47 Killer of demons, gorge on this flesh, our offering. 0:47 - 0:51 - Drink... - Halt! 0:51 - 0:53 - Halt? - The ring. 0:53 - 0:57 She is not wearing the sacrificial ring. 0:57 - 0:58 0:58 - 1:01 She cannot be sacrificed without the ring. 1:01 - 1:04 Where is the ring? What has she done with the ring? 1:04 - 1:07 The ring! The ring! 1:07 - 1:09 ♪ Help! I need somebody 1:09 - 1:12 ♪ Help! Not just anybody 1:12 - 1:14 ♪ Help! You know I need someone 1:14 - 1:17 ♪ Help! 1:17 - 1:22 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 1:22 - 1:27 ♪ I never needed anybodys help in anyway 1:27 - 1:32 ♪ But now these days are gone Im not so self assured 1:32 - 1:37 ♪ Now I find Ive changed my mind, Ive opened up the doors 1:37 - 1:41 ♪ Help me if you can Im feeling down 1:41 - 1:47 ♪ And I do appreciate you being round 1:47 - 1:51 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 1:51 - 1:57 ♪ Wont you please, please help me? 1:57 - 2:03 ♪ And now my life has changed in oh so many ways 2:03 - 2:08 ♪ My independence seems to vanish in the haze 2:08 - 2:13 ♪ But evry now and then I feel so insecure 2:13 - 2:18 ♪ I know that I just need you like Ive never done before 2:18 - 2:22 ♪ Help me if you can Im feeling down 2:22 - 2:28 ♪ And I do appreciate you being round 2:28 - 2:32 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 2:32 - 2:38 ♪ Wont you please, please help me? 2:38 - 2:43 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 2:43 - 2:48 ♪ I never needed anybodys help in anyway 2:48 - 2:53 ♪ But now these days are gone Im not so self assured 2:53 - 2:58 ♪ Now I find Ive changed my mind, Ive opened up the doors 2:58 - 3:03 ♪ Help me if you can Im feeling down 3:03 - 3:09 ♪ And I do appreciate you being round 3:09 - 3:13 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 3:13 - 3:17 ♪ Wont you please, please help me? 3:17 - 3:20 ♪ Help me, help me 3:20 - 3:24 ♪ Ooh ♪ 3:24 - 3:27 - Oh, shocking. - Monstrous. 3:27 - 3:30 - Ahme. - The necessary preparations... 3:30 - 3:33 - The preparations for my departure... - Are made. 3:33 - 3:36 - At once, without delay. - The ring. 3:36 - 3:40 Over the water we must go. 3:40 - 3:42 - Bhuta. - You ask of me, Master? 3:42 - 3:45 - Obedience and Love. - This is so. 3:45 - 3:47 - Ahme. - This is so. 3:47 - 3:49 - The ring. - Has nobody looked on the washbasin? 3:49 - 3:53 I am making the immediate arrangements for my necessary... 3:53 - 3:54 - Are made. - At once. 3:54 - 3:57 - ...visit to England. - In hand. 3:57 - 3:58 Something must be done. 3:58 - 4:01 Without the ring, there will be no sacrifice, 4:01 - 4:03 without the sacrifice, no congregation. 4:03 - 4:06 Without a congregation... 4:06 - 4:09 ...no more me. 4:09 - 4:22 This is so. 4:22 - 4:25 - Wave. - I dont like to. 4:25 - 4:27 - Go on, wave. - Shall I? 4:27 - 4:30 They expect it, dont they. 4:30 - 4:33 Lovely lads and so natural. 4:33 - 4:35 Adoration hasnt gone to their heads. 4:35 - 4:38 You know what I mean, success. 4:38 - 5:09 So natural and still the same as they was before they was. 5:09 - 5:14 5:14 - 5:31 5:31 - 5:36 - Someones got hold of my finger. - You trying to attract attention again? 5:36 - 5:39 Shes pulling at it. 5:39 - 5:40 Oh! 5:40 - 5:50 Ow! 5:50 - 5:51 She had my finger, you know... 5:51 - 5:55 Stop trying to drag things down to your own level. 5:55 - 6:02 I thought she was a sandwich until she went spare on my hand. 6:02 - 6:06 Its cold. its a cold place. 6:06 - 6:11 - So, the ring? - No. I could not get it off, Swami. 6:11 - 6:17 Oh dear! 6:17 - 6:25 6:25 - 7:38 7:38 - 7:51 7:51 - 7:55 Hey! Have you been messing with me in my kip? 7:55 - 7:57 I mean, with a fishing rod. 7:57 - 8:01 I wouldnt touch you with a plastic one. What are you doing on the floor? 8:01 - 8:35 Im tired. 8:35 - 8:41 8:41 - 8:44 - Hello? - Hello? 8:44 - 9:02 9:02 - 9:04 Hey, Bea-atle! 9:04 - 9:08 How about this, Shufti? 9:08 - 9:11 Gold! All of it, pure gold. 9:11 - 9:14 In easy to handle denominational nuggets. Unmarked. 9:14 - 9:17 - Not a mark on them. - No, I hate them. 9:17 - 9:23 - No. - It makes your fingers go green. 9:23 - 9:26 Its not the Beatle with the ring. 9:26 - 9:30 - Arent I? - No, unfortunately. 9:30 - 9:37 9:37 - 9:39 Ah! 9:39 - 9:43 Hey, Bea-atle. You shall have fun, eh? 9:43 - 9:49 No thanks, Im rhythm guitar and mouth organ. 9:49 - 9:51 I didnt encourage that wink. 9:51 - 9:54 - It is not the one. - My gosh. 9:54 - 9:57 They all look the same in their similitude and language. 9:57 - 10:00 Swami, its raining on your... 10:00 - 10:06 After them. 10:06 - 10:09 - Quickly, quickly. - Yes, yes. 10:09 - 10:11 - Right, right. - All in. 10:11 - 10:15 - All in together now, sir. - Now. 10:15 - 10:17 - Ah! Shilling! - Shilling? 10:17 - 10:20 - Shilling. - Oh, shilling! 10:20 - 10:30 - Now! Off! - Off. 10:30 - 10:45 Oh... After them. 10:45 - 10:54 - What first attracted you to me? - Well, youre very polite. 10:54 - 10:56 10:56 - 10:58 10:58 - 11:05 Ha, ha! 11:05 - 11:06 Hope hes in. 11:06 - 11:16 11:16 - 11:18 Ow! 11:18 - 11:20 - What are you doing? - Posting a letter. 11:20 - 11:26 Ow! 11:26 - 11:53 11:53 - 12:01 12:01 - 12:19 12:19 - 12:29 Ow! 12:29 - 12:32 12:32 - 12:37 I am not what I seem. 12:37 - 12:41 Hey! My skins soaked right through to the skin. 12:41 - 12:43 Theres more here than meets the eye. 12:43 - 12:45 - Ho, ho! - Ho! 12:45 - 12:47 - Ho, ho! - Ho! 12:47 - 12:50 - Ho, ho, ho! - Oh! 12:50 - 12:52 - Ho! - Ho, ho! 12:52 - 12:54 Take Five. 12:54 - 12:57 Youre going to lose that girl. 12:57 - 12:59 One, two, three... 12:59 - 13:03 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:03 - 13:07 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:07 - 13:10 ♪ If you dont take her out tonight 13:10 - 13:14 ♪ Shes going to change her mind, shes going to change her mind 13:14 - 13:18 ♪ And I will take her out tonight 13:18 - 13:21 ♪ And I will treat her kind, Im going to treat her kind 13:21 - 13:25 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:25 - 13:29 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:29 - 13:32 ♪ If you dont treat her right my friend 13:32 - 13:36 ♪ Youre going to find her gone, youre going to find her gone 13:36 - 13:39 ♪ Cause I will treat her right and then 13:39 - 13:43 ♪ Youll be the lonely one, youre not the only one 13:43 - 13:47 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:47 - 13:51 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:51 - 13:54 ♪ Youre going to lose, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 13:54 - 13:59 ♪ Ill make a point of taking her away from you 13:59 - 14:02 ♪ Watch what you do, yeah 14:02 - 14:12 ♪ The way you treat her, what else can I do? 14:12 - 14:19 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl 14:19 - 14:21 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl 14:21 - 14:25 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 14:25 - 14:29 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 14:29 - 14:33 ♪ Youre going to lose, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 14:33 - 14:37 ♪ Ill make a point of taking her away from you 14:37 - 14:41 ♪ Watch what you do, yeah 14:41 - 14:46 ♪ The way you treat her, what else can I do? 14:46 - 14:49 ♪ If you dont take her out tonight 14:49 - 14:54 ♪ Shes going to change her mind, shes going to change her mind 14:54 - 14:56 ♪ And I will take her out tonight 14:56 - 15:00 ♪ And I will treat her kind, Im going to treat her kind 15:00 - 15:04 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 15:04 - 15:08 ♪ Youre going to lose that girl, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl 15:08 - 15:15 ♪ Youre going to lose, yes yes, youre going to lose that girl ♪ 15:15 - 15:18 15:18 - 15:21 - Boys, are you buzzing? - No thanks, Ive got the car. 15:21 - 15:25 No, listen... Youll have to do it again. 15:25 - 15:29 ♪ Ill make a point of taking her away from you 15:29 - 15:33 ♪ Watch what you do, yeah 15:33 - 15:37 ♪ The way you treat her, what else can I do... ♪ 15:37 - 15:42 15:42 - 15:43 - Is that you? - No. 15:43 - 15:47 - - Dont look at me. 15:47 - 15:49 15:49 - 15:53 it was you buzzing. You naughty boy. 15:53 - 15:55 15:55 - 15:58 Now for the ring! 15:58 - 16:05 16:05 - 16:08 Ow! 16:08 - 16:10 Oh! Oh, that stings. 16:10 - 16:12 Kaili! 16:12 - 16:14 Kaili! 16:14 - 16:16 Flee! 16:16 - 16:19 Will you explain everything when the opportunity presents itself? 16:19 - 16:36 - Flee! - OK. 16:36 - 16:50 16:50 - 16:53 Oh, goodness me! Sex is creeping in. 16:53 - 16:58 Young people see it in the bazaars, market places, temple... 16:58 - 17:02 No wonder they turn up their noses at a mystical impulse... 17:02 - 17:07 Were taking up fox hunting so young people are involved in their sacrifices. 17:07 - 17:12 And will understand the deep significance of blood well shed. 17:12 - 17:17 Of course I dont expect you to see eye to eye with me... 17:17 - 17:22 What? Who? Where? 17:22 - 17:49 Now... lf youll pardon me. 17:49 - 17:52 Its played out, any road? You know, rings... 17:52 - 17:54 - Very nice. - Its yours. 17:54 - 17:58 Nah! My missus wouldnt wear a ring like that. Ostentatious, that is! 17:58 - 18:02 - Hes from the west. - Nah, east. Stepney. 18:02 - 18:06 - Does this ring mean anything to you? - Freemason? 18:06 - 18:10 - Youre all English! - Thats what unions are for. 18:10 - 18:15 I tell a lie. We have got one in there from the mystic east... Or we did have. 18:15 - 18:17 Hey, Abdul! 18:17 - 18:20 - Yes. - We did have one, didnt we? 18:20 - 18:23 That lad from the sunnier climate, east of Suez? 18:23 - 18:26 Very nice he was, too. 18:26 - 18:39 I think hes still down there, in the coal hole. 18:39 - 18:42 Doesnt the blood rush to your head, sir? 18:42 - 18:44 Doesnt the eastern flavour come expensive? 18:44 - 18:47 Doesnt the blood rush to your stomach? 18:47 - 18:49 Is this ring nasty, sir? 18:49 - 18:55 Argh! Kaili! Oh dear, I must lie down. 18:55 - 18:59 Oh! Thats better. 18:59 - 19:02 Excuse me... This menu... 19:02 - 19:23 19:23 - 19:25 Ive just seen the most amazing thing... 19:25 - 19:35 Oh... 19:35 - 19:41 Hey, did you... 19:41 - 19:46 Theres a man down there on his head. 19:46 - 19:48 Arthur? 19:48 - 19:51 19:51 - 19:57 Could you pick this up for me, please? 19:57 - 20:02 20:02 - 20:05 20:05 - 20:11 Are you eating, too, Paul? 20:11 - 20:14 Your friend is in mortal danger. I can say no more. 20:14 - 20:17 20:17 - 20:21 20:21 - 20:24 Its rather a jolly place. 20:24 - 20:27 - Soup, please. - Soup, yeah. 20:27 - 20:29 He has three hours to live. 20:29 - 20:33 - Say no more. - I can say no more. 20:33 - 20:35 I ordered soup too. 20:35 - 20:48 - Soup! - Soup. 20:48 - 20:53 Pardon me, sir. Thats a very fascinating ring youve got there. 20:53 - 20:55 - Unless Im mistaken. - Is it? 20:55 - 20:59 The dreaded sacred sacrificial ring of the dread Kaili. 20:59 - 21:00 - Say no more. - I can say no more. 21:00 - 21:04 Excuse me. if he is to be sacrificed before Kaili, 21:04 - 21:06 why is he not painted red? 21:06 - 21:14 Ive never had the courage to ask him, but as hes my best friend I will. 21:14 - 21:17 - Whats this? Glasses? - Thats right, sir. Glasses. 21:17 - 21:21 A victim is offered to the dread Kaili everyday. 21:21 - 21:23 All are happy to go. 21:23 - 21:26 He who wins is privileged to wear the sacred ring 21:26 - 21:29 from sun to moon, from moon to sun. 21:29 - 21:33 And at the end of the happy day he is slaughtered jolly with a knife. 21:33 - 21:38 And sacrificed jolly with a knife, so Im told, with that ring. 21:38 - 21:39 Three hours to live. 21:39 - 21:43 - You have till five oclock. - Before a new victim is chosen. 21:43 - 21:46 You are lucky to be chosen! 21:46 - 21:51 My old mum would give her right hand to be chosen. 21:51 - 21:54 - Whats this? - A season ticket. 21:54 - 22:00 I like a lot of seasoning in my soup. 22:00 - 22:02 Theres somebody been in this soup. 22:02 - 22:06 I got it from this Eastern bird... lady... in a fan letter. 22:06 - 22:11 I get all sorts. Rubbish, though, isnt it? Sacrifice. 22:11 - 22:13 No? Come off! 22:13 - 22:17 So, get in touch with your authorities and send back the ring to this lady, 22:17 - 22:19 who will then go happy to Kaili. 22:19 - 22:22 - Thank you. - Three hours. 22:22 - 22:24 Theres a footprint in here. 22:24 - 22:28 Here, you have a go. 22:28 - 22:35 Flee! 22:35 - 22:54 22:54 - 22:57 We have lots of little problems like this. Some of them matrimonial. 22:57 - 22:59 22:59 - 23:01 This ring is not stone. 23:01 - 23:12 - Ive only got three hours to live. - Therefore, it must be a metal. 23:12 - 23:17 - I dont know this metal. - Youre not getting anywhere, are you? 23:17 - 23:20 Early days yet, sir. Therefore it must be an alloy. 23:20 - 23:26 Theres a certain amount of hurry up involved here. My life is in danger. 23:26 - 23:28 Three ten. 23:28 - 23:30 - The wheel. - Not the wheel. 23:30 - 23:34 Even the Royal House of Hanover had the wheel, sir. 23:34 - 23:46 23:46 - 23:49 - Ive never seen anything like it. - Youve failed. 23:49 - 23:53 - I suggest you see a specialist. - What kind? Your tools are broken. 23:53 - 23:56 The fire brigade once got my head out of some railings. 23:56 - 24:01 - Did you want them to? - No. I left it there when not at school. 24:01 - 24:03 You can see a lot of the world from railings. 24:03 - 24:09 24:09 - 24:12 I like operations, they give you a sense of outlook. 24:12 - 24:14 This wont work. 24:14 - 24:17 It could work if the government would spend more money. 24:17 - 24:20 Made in America you see. 24:20 - 24:22 Another failure. 24:22 - 24:25 The idea is... The idea as I see it 24:25 - 24:29 is that we expand the molecules and the ring grows bigger and drops off. 24:29 - 24:33 - Whats your electricity bill like? - Its sort of a long counterfoil. 24:33 - 24:37 Its not dropping off. 24:37 - 24:41 Voltage! Voltage... up, up... 24:41 - 24:43 Up, up! 24:43 - 24:46 - Are you sure Im earthed? - Oh no, hold on. Thank you. 24:46 - 24:50 Made in America. Streets ahead of anything weve got. 24:50 - 24:52 This is English. 24:52 - 24:55 - Is it green, the earth in America? - In some places its brown. 24:55 - 24:57 Hes not earthed. 24:57 - 25:04 Hes an idiot. Has a degree in woodwork. I ask you! 25:04 - 25:07 Done. 25:07 - 25:10 - 5... 4... - Come on. 25:10 - 25:15 3-2-1-go! I observe the procedure. Hell thank me for it in the end. 25:15 - 25:18 Scientist, youre getting nowhere. 25:18 - 25:22 Its the plugs. Good British plugs. 25:22 - 25:26 All this America rig. Wrong voltage. Thats what foxes me. 25:26 - 25:28 - How do you feel? - I used to use my hands. 25:28 - 25:32 He used to use his hands. 25:32 - 25:35 - Will he still be able to drum? - Did he do a lot of it? 25:35 - 25:41 - Voltage... up! - Im no mean hand at the old sticks. 25:41 - 25:42 The voltage, up, up, up! 25:42 - 25:48 - Hey, hes calling you. Up, up, up! - Up, up, up! 25:48 - 25:52 The bunker! 25:52 - 25:59 25:59 - 26:03 - I cant watch. - Its working! Give it the gun, Algernon. 26:03 - 26:10 26:10 - 26:12 Stop it! 26:12 - 26:14 Its more than my jobs worth! 26:14 - 26:17 Hes out to rule the world if he can get a government grant. 26:17 - 26:31 Outrageous! Youre nothing but a mad scientist! 26:31 - 26:33 Fantastic! 26:33 - 26:37 With a ring like that I could, dare I say it, rule the world. 26:37 - 26:40 I must have the ring... Algernon, the laser. 26:40 - 26:44 Get your hands off him or Ill call the Metropolitan scuffers! 26:44 - 26:46 The laser... 26:46 - 26:50 - Get him off. - I must have this ring. The laser. 26:50 - 26:55 Halt! Release him or Ill shoot and I am a dead eyeshot shooting. 26:55 - 27:01 - Ive got it. - Switch off that machine. 27:01 - 27:04 - The laser. - The laser, yes... 27:04 - 27:07 Im better with animals than plugs and transistors. 27:07 - 27:10 MIT was after me, wanted me to rule the world for them. 27:10 - 27:13 Daddy being the local master of the hounds. 27:13 - 27:16 Thats where I get it from, my love of animals. 27:16 - 27:20 They trust me. I should have been in vivisection. 27:20 - 27:24 How do you know we can trust her? Shes had your fingers before, Ringo. 27:24 - 27:28 Well, that was a mistake. I can vouch for her. Were very close. 27:28 - 27:32 - Lasers ready. - Get them! 27:32 - 27:35 27:35 - 27:38 27:38 - 27:42 Its the wrong plug... Just give me five minutes. 27:42 - 27:50 Its the brain drain. His brains draining. 27:50 - 27:52 (♪ THE BEATLES: Youve Got to Hide Your Love Away) 27:52 - 27:55 ♪ Here I stand with head in hand 27:55 - 27:59 ♪ Turn my face to the wall 27:59 - 28:03 ♪ if shes gone I cant go on 28:03 - 28:09 ♪ Feeling two foot small 28:09 - 28:13 ♪ Evrywhere people stare 28:13 - 28:17 ♪ Each and evryday 28:17 - 28:21 ♪ I can see them laugh at me 28:21 - 28:29 ♪ And I hear them say 28:29 - 28:37 ♪ Hey, youve got to hide your love away! 28:37 - 28:45 ♪ Hey, youve got to hide your love away! 28:45 - 28:49 ♪ How can I even try? 28:49 - 28:53 ♪ I can never win 28:53 - 28:57 ♪ Hearing them, seeing them 28:57 - 29:02 ♪ In the state Im in 29:02 - 29:06 ♪ How could she say to me 29:06 - 29:10 ♪ Love will find a way? 29:10 - 29:14 ♪ Gather round all you clowns 29:14 - 29:22 ♪ Let me hear you say 29:22 - 29:30 ♪ Hey, youve got to hide your love away! 29:30 - 29:56 ♪ Hey, youve got to hide your love away! ♪ 29:56 - 29:58 I have here... 29:58 - 30:00 30:00 - 30:03 Now see what youve done with your filthy Eastern ways. 30:03 - 30:07 No! it is Clang, the High Priest, who is filthy in his ways. 30:07 - 30:10 How do we know youre not sent by him to nick the ring, 30:10 - 30:13 when youve lulled us with your filthy ways? 30:13 - 30:16 - What filthy ways are these? - You can put that away. 30:16 - 30:21 Until this moment you were safe because my sister was chosen 30:21 - 30:24 and no other could be sacrificed to Kaili. 30:24 - 30:32 Now my sister is safe and rises up. 30:32 - 30:35 30:35 - 30:39 And a new day dawns, a new victim is chosen... 30:39 - 30:45 From this moment it is death to him who wears the ring. 30:45 - 30:48 This will make your finger shrink. Be brave. 30:48 - 30:49 Dont look. 30:49 - 30:55 Alas, if he were brave this would not be necessary. 30:55 - 31:05 31:05 - 31:08 Whereve you been? Youve been up that temple again. 31:08 - 31:21 Youre as bad as your sister, coming home from work at all hours and colours. 31:21 - 31:23 There might be some insurance. 31:23 - 31:26 I wouldnt think of such a thing! Find out. 31:26 - 31:28 What did you say that stuff is? 31:28 - 31:32 This will just make his finger shrink a little. Its a minor medical secret. 31:32 - 31:35 Im sure theres no call for all this. 31:35 - 31:39 Im allergic to Penicillin and all them other wonder drugs. 31:39 - 31:42 - Gum? - Are you sure its not or habit forming? 31:42 - 32:03 No. As long as you dont swallow it. 32:03 - 32:06 All right. Synchronise your watches. 32:06 - 32:15 You, you, you and you. Paint him red and then kill him. 32:15 - 32:17 Kaili. 32:17 - 32:20 Kaili. Kaili. 32:20 - 32:25 I promise you the effect is purely transitory. 32:25 - 32:26 It wears off very quickly. 32:26 - 32:31 Dont answer it! Its Clang. 32:31 - 32:33 32:33 - 32:37 - Perhaps it wont take... - This is a dreadful miscarriage. 32:37 - 32:38 32:38 - 32:41 Come on, my finger! 32:41 - 32:43 Wheres Paul? 32:43 - 32:48 Wheres Paul? Come on, Paul, stop messing about. 32:48 - 32:50 Wheres he gone? 32:50 - 33:13 - Where are you, Paul? - Its his best suit. 33:13 - 33:19 Dont look right or left. They might take us for innocent bystanders. 33:19 - 33:24 33:24 - 33:26 - Standby. - Standby. 33:26 - 33:29 Look out! Theyre coming through the door! 33:29 - 33:35 33:35 - 33:41 - Go! - Go! 33:41 - 33:49 Kaili! 33:49 - 33:55 Kaili... Oh! 33:55 - 34:00 - Sorry, I hit him. - Oh! 34:00 - 34:03 Get me the home office. Hes wrecking my home. 34:03 - 34:08 Kaili! Kaili! 34:08 - 34:13 Get off! 34:13 - 34:16 - Its me, you fool. - Oh, sorry. 34:16 - 34:21 Well, stop it! 34:21 - 35:02 Feet! Feet, you fool! 35:02 - 35:13 35:13 - 35:19 35:19 - 35:25 Kaili! Hes red! Kill him! 35:25 - 35:34 35:34 - 35:37 Oh, my goodness gosh! Withdraw! Withdraw! 35:37 - 35:40 Up! 35:40 - 35:42 Up, up, up! 35:42 - 35:44 - You! - Which one has the ring? 35:44 - 35:46 That one with the large ned. 35:46 - 35:48 Neb! And its yours. 35:48 - 35:54 - Keep your hands up. - How can I get it off with my hands up? 35:54 - 35:56 In the name of science I demand that ring. 35:56 - 35:57 Its yours! 35:57 - 36:01 - Its worth something. - A couple of bob, at least. 36:01 - 36:05 Had to do all this myself... Backward Britain they call us on Wall Street. 36:05 - 36:09 With a ring like that could I interest the military? 36:09 - 36:11 No, I could not. 36:11 - 36:15 I cant get it off. 36:15 - 36:18 36:18 - 36:20 - Paul? - Look, what youve done. 36:20 - 36:24 - Hey, is that Paul? - Algernon, my little black bag. 36:24 - 36:27 I shall have to operate. 36:27 - 36:29 Itll be on the National Health, wont it? 36:29 - 36:33 - - Look! 36:33 - 36:36 Ugh! Im all sticky. Youre all red! 36:36 - 36:39 - We thought that was you. - No thats not me. 36:39 - 36:43 Im glad it wore off quickly. 36:43 - 36:46 What are you doing here? 36:46 - 36:51 - - Get out! 36:51 - 36:55 British, you see! Useless. If I had a Luger... 36:55 - 36:59 Their scientists are properly equipped. Think on it. 36:59 - 37:09 The remedy is in your hands... you, the voters. 37:09 - 37:15 - Wheres Ahme? - I dont know. 37:15 - 37:23 37:23 - 37:28 (Continues speaking in Eastern language) 37:28 - 37:31 - Hai? - What? Yes... Hai. 37:31 - 37:34 (Continues speaking in Eastern language) 37:34 - 37:37 I dont understand a word. I dont speak the language. 37:37 - 37:40 Latin, yes. But this Eastern babble, no. 37:40 - 37:58 Ah, the ring! Come on, we go. 37:58 - 38:02 (♪ THE BEATLES: Ticket To Ride) 38:02 - 38:05 ♪ I think Im gonna be sad 38:05 - 38:09 ♪ I think its today, yeh 38:09 - 38:12 ♪ The girl thats driving me mad 38:12 - 38:17 ♪ ls going away 38:17 - 38:21 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride 38:21 - 38:25 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 38:25 - 38:33 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride but she dont care 38:33 - 38:36 ♪ She said that living with me 38:36 - 38:41 ♪ Was bringing her down, yeh 38:41 - 38:44 ♪ For she would never be free 38:44 - 38:49 ♪ When I was around 38:49 - 38:53 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride 38:53 - 38:57 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 38:57 - 39:04 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride but she dont care 39:04 - 39:08 ♪ I dont know why shes riding so high 39:08 - 39:12 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 39:12 - 39:16 ♪ Before she gets to saying goodbye 39:16 - 39:22 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 39:22 - 39:25 ♪ I think Im gonna be sad 39:25 - 39:30 ♪ I think its today, yeh 39:30 - 39:33 ♪ The girl thats driving me mad 39:33 - 39:37 ♪ ls going away, yeh 39:37 - 39:42 ♪ Ah, shes got a ticket to ride 39:42 - 39:46 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 39:46 - 39:54 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride but she dont care 39:54 - 39:58 ♪ I dont know why shes riding so high 39:58 - 40:02 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 40:02 - 40:06 ♪ Before she gets to saying goodbye 40:06 - 40:12 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 40:12 - 40:15 ♪ She said that living with me 40:15 - 40:20 ♪ Was bringing her down, yeh 40:20 - 40:23 ♪ For she would never be free 40:23 - 40:27 ♪ When I was around 40:27 - 40:32 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride 40:32 - 40:36 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 40:36 - 40:42 ♪ Shes got a ticket to ride but she dont care 40:42 - 40:46 ♪ My baby dont care 40:46 - 40:50 ♪ My baby dont care 40:50 - 40:54 ♪ My baby dont care 40:54 - 40:58 ♪ My baby dont care 40:58 - 41:06 ♪ My baby dont care... ♪ 41:06 - 41:13 There they are! 41:13 - 41:19 Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! 41:19 - 41:22 Oh... 41:22 - 41:28 Wait! 41:28 - 41:31 The bloods rushing to my head. 41:31 - 41:33 Mind that post! 41:33 - 41:38 Put me down. 41:38 - 41:40 Put me down. 41:40 - 41:44 Thank you... Ouch, ouch, ouch! 41:44 - 41:48 Hey! Over here. Wait, wait, wait! 41:48 - 41:50 Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! 41:50 - 42:05 Ho, ho, ho... Oh! 42:05 - 42:07 Ah... So! 42:07 - 42:10 Its too heavy! 42:10 - 42:12 Here you are. Its not heavy now. 42:12 - 42:15 - Send it down! - Here you are, Ringo. 42:15 - 42:18 Ive got it... No, I havent, its gone past! 42:18 - 42:21 Send this one straight. 42:21 - 42:23 Ive got it... No, I havent. 42:23 - 42:25 - Look out! - Get away! 42:25 - 42:28 I am easing the fuse in now. 42:28 - 42:30 What? 42:30 - 42:32 I know, you fool. Im here. Steady. 42:32 - 42:36 Steady. I am steady. 42:36 - 42:38 Now a turn to the right and it locks. 42:38 - 42:42 I am turning it to the right. It is locking. 42:42 - 42:44 Thats what comes of teaching science by TV. 42:44 - 42:46 Youll thank me in the end. 42:46 - 42:48 I am lifting it up. 42:48 - 42:50 42:50 - 42:53 - I am moving my left leg... - Hurry up! 42:53 - 42:58 - I am moving my right leg. - Oh, give it to me! 42:58 - 43:04 - Call it a day. - Its curling stone day. 43:04 - 43:08 When the ice breaks dive straight in. Its the right hand. 43:08 - 43:10 it wont work. 43:10 - 43:15 Soft game... broom sticks. 43:15 - 43:16 Thank you. 43:16 - 43:18 Throw it, George. 43:18 - 43:20 That was good. 43:20 - 43:22 Great. 43:22 - 43:25 Hey, its a thingy. 43:25 - 43:27 A fiendish thingy! 43:27 - 43:29 It was so fast, its smoking. 43:29 - 43:36 Run, Ringo! 43:36 - 43:39 43:39 - 43:41 43:41 - 43:48 Useless... ex army rubbish. I cannot get the equipment... 43:48 - 44:00 44:00 - 44:04 Excuse me... white cliffs of Dover? 44:04 - 44:08 Thank you. 44:08 - 44:11 Bhuta, here they come, the right flank. 44:11 - 44:31 - Get on! - Stop here. Youre in my power! 44:31 - 44:34 In the name of Kaili, stop! Stop! 44:34 - 44:38 Argh! 44:38 - 44:41 My blood group is very unusual. Look! 44:41 - 44:55 My blood group is... 44:55 - 45:01 This way, Swami. 45:01 - 45:13 45:13 - 45:15 What for? Please, no... 45:15 - 45:18 Please... No... 45:18 - 45:22 45:22 - 45:50 I am very busy... please! 45:50 - 45:52 Perhaps if we gave away free tickets 45:52 - 45:55 to the youth organisation annual sacrifice, 45:55 - 46:23 all this could be avoided. Its a very real problem. 46:23 - 46:32 46:32 - 46:34 London. 46:34 - 46:36 Red. 46:36 - 46:37 Red? 46:37 - 46:40 They have to paint me red before they chop me. 46:40 - 46:42 Its a different religion from ours... l think 46:42 - 46:47 - So this is the famous ring, eh? - Im in fear of my life, you know. 46:47 - 46:50 So this is the famous Beatles? 46:50 - 46:53 So this is the famous Scotland Yard? 46:53 - 46:55 How long do you think youll last? 46:55 - 46:59 You cant say fairer than that. Great Train Robbery, hows that going? 46:59 - 47:03 - You dont believe us, do you? - 47:03 - 47:06 - Chief Superintendent. - Ringo, please. 47:06 - 47:09 - Its for you, the famous Ringo. - Its them. 47:09 - 47:12 - Only me and Paul know were here. - I know. 47:12 - 47:18 Allow me. Im a bit of a famous mimic. You know... James Cagney. 47:18 - 47:21 Hello, this is the famous Ringo, 47:21 - 47:24 what is it that I can do for you? 47:24 - 47:26 Not a bit like Cagney. 47:26 - 47:30 - Go to the window. - Hey, it is them! 47:30 - 47:32 Go to the window. 47:32 - 47:35 Go to the window. 47:35 - 47:38 Go to the window. 47:38 - 47:41 Go to the window. 47:41 - 47:55 Go to the window. 47:55 - 47:59 Theres a strong case for arming the police. Were not all masochists. 47:59 - 48:02 - Now see? - I believe you. Thousands wouldnt. 48:02 - 48:06 Right, lets get going. Pass me the phone, will you? 48:06 - 48:09 Lifeline of the service. Dial 999. 48:09 - 48:13 We need protection. Weve got a record to do tomorrow. 48:13 - 48:15 - I need protection. - And you shall have it. 48:15 - 48:17 Get me protection. 48:17 - 48:20 (♪ THE BEATLES: I Need You) 48:20 - 48:27 ♪ You dont realise how much I need you 48:27 - 48:34 ♪ Love you all the time and never leave you 48:34 - 48:38 ♪ Please come on back to me 48:38 - 48:41 ♪ Im lonely as can be 48:41 - 48:45 ♪ I need you 48:45 - 48:52 ♪ Said you had a thing or two to tell me 48:52 - 48:59 ♪ How was I to know you would upset me 48:59 - 49:02 ♪ I didnt realise 49:02 - 49:06 ♪ As I looked in your eyes 49:06 - 49:09 ♪ You told me 49:09 - 49:11 ♪ Oh yes, you told me 49:11 - 49:16 ♪ You dont want my loving anymore 49:16 - 49:19 ♪ Thats when it hurt me 49:19 - 49:26 ♪ And feeling like this I just cant go on anymore 49:26 - 49:33 ♪ Please remember how I feel about you 49:33 - 49:40 ♪ I could never really live without you 49:40 - 49:44 ♪ So come on back and see 49:44 - 49:47 ♪ Just what you mean to me 49:47 - 49:50 ♪ I need you 49:50 - 49:53 ♪ But when you told me 49:53 - 49:57 ♪ You dont want my loving anymore 49:57 - 50:00 ♪ Thats when it hurt me 50:00 - 50:07 ♪ And feeling like this I just cant go on anymore 50:07 - 50:15 ♪ Please remember how I feel about you 50:15 - 50:21 ♪ I could never really live without you 50:21 - 50:25 ♪ So come on back and see 50:25 - 50:29 ♪ Just what you mean to me 50:29 - 50:32 ♪ I need you 50:32 - 50:36 ♪ I need you 50:36 - 50:59 ♪ I need you ♪ 50:59 - 51:03 Hello... Sunray to Set. Over. 51:03 - 51:07 Hello, Sunray. What are you doing down there? 51:07 - 51:08 Sunray all set. Over. 51:08 - 51:10 Sit-rep please. 51:10 - 51:20 It is done. We are directly under. Listen... 51:20 - 51:22 ♪ Shes a woman who understands 51:22 - 51:24 ♪ Shes a woman who loves her man... ♪ 51:24 - 51:26 Ugh! Shocking! 51:26 - 51:29 ♪ My love dont give me presents... ♪ 51:29 - 51:36 Roger, Ahme. Return to the base. I will complete the task. Out. 51:36 - 51:38 - Brahna! - Saheb? 51:38 - 51:45 Take this hastily scribbled note hastily to acting Lance Corporal Bhuta. 51:45 - 51:48 Off! 51:48 - 52:07 52:07 - 52:10 - It says standing by. - Stand by! 52:10 - 52:16 They shall not pass... 52:16 - 52:18 (♪ Shes A Woman plays on tape machine) 52:18 - 52:22 ♪ She dont give boys the eye 52:22 - 52:28 ♪ She hates to see me cry... ♪ 52:28 - 52:33 ♪ We said our goodbyes, on the night before 52:33 - 52:39 ♪ Love was in your eyes, on the night before 52:39 - 52:42 ♪ Now today I find 52:42 - 52:45 ♪ You have changed your mind 52:45 - 52:50 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 52:50 - 52:56 ♪ Were you telling lies, on the night before? 52:56 - 53:02 ♪ Was I so unwise, on the night before? 53:02 - 53:05 ♪ When I held you near 53:05 - 53:08 ♪ You were so sincere 53:08 - 53:13 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 53:13 - 53:19 ♪ Last night is a night I will remember you by 53:19 - 53:25 ♪ When I think of things we did it makes me wanna cry 53:25 - 53:30 ♪ We said our goodbyes, on the night before 53:30 - 53:36 ♪ Love was in your eyes, on the night before 53:36 - 53:39 ♪ Now today I find 53:39 - 53:42 ♪ You have changed your mind 53:42 - 53:47 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 53:47 - 53:53 ♪ Yes... ♪ 53:53 - 53:56 ♪ Shes a woman who understands 53:56 - 53:59 ♪ Shes a woman who loves her man 53:59 - 54:04 ♪ My love dont give me presents 54:04 - 54:08 ♪ I know that shes no peasant... ♪ 54:08 - 54:12 54:12 - 54:18 ♪ Last night is a night I will remember you by 54:18 - 54:23 ♪ When I think of things we did it makes me wanna cry 54:23 - 54:29 ♪ Were you telling lies, on the night before? 54:29 - 54:35 ♪ Was I so unwise, on the night before? 54:35 - 54:37 ♪ When I held you near 54:37 - 54:40 ♪ You were so sincere 54:40 - 54:45 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 54:45 - 54:52 ♪ Yes... 54:52 - 54:54 ♪ When I held you near 54:54 - 54:58 ♪ You were so sincere 54:58 - 55:02 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 55:02 - 55:10 ♪ Like the night before ♪ 55:10 - 55:19 - Hey! - Were being attacked! 55:19 - 55:25 55:25 - 55:31 Retreat! Retreat! 55:31 - 55:37 Come on! Were being fired at! Get out of here! 55:37 - 55:49 Come on! Retreat! 55:49 - 55:54 Run! 55:54 - 55:57 Quick! Faster! 55:57 - 56:06 Hey, mind the tank! 56:06 - 56:07 Get up, Johnny! 56:07 - 56:12 - Stop! - Johnny! Walk for me. You can do it! 56:12 - 56:35 In here! Quickly! Quick! 56:35 - 56:41 - Fire! - Fire! 56:41 - 56:50 Fire! 56:50 - 56:53 Fire! 56:53 - 56:58 - Left! Steady on. 1-500. - 1-500. 56:58 - 57:01 I regret losing a lieutenant as able as Ahme 57:01 - 57:03 but she was told the price of capture. 57:03 - 57:06 - Enemy tank moving from left to right. - Loaded. 57:06 - 57:14 - Well, fire the nasty thing. - Firing now, Saheb 57:14 - 57:22 Missed! You naughty boys. 57:22 - 57:30 Turn us right. 57:30 - 57:38 Fire! 57:38 - 57:44 57:44 - 58:27 58:27 - 58:35 There must be somewhere in England where one can find sanctuary to think. 58:35 - 58:38 Hows your equilibrium, Ringo? 58:38 - 58:41 Hows yours? Youre light again, George. 58:41 - 58:45 - How do you know its not you. - Cos I never am, am I Paul? 58:45 - 58:48 Here, cop this, one hand! 58:48 - 58:51 - Ugly, though. - The hands? 58:51 - 58:58 - Some peoples are. - Show us your hand, Ringo. 58:58 - 59:00 - You want to chuck one in? - Get on! 59:00 - 59:03 - How about drumming, though? - It wont affect it. 59:03 - 59:07 I dont know many... 59:07 - 59:10 it appears I need one card. Im chucking one in. 59:10 - 59:12 Very light-hearted. 59:12 - 59:15 - Discarding it. - Like an old boot. 59:15 - 59:17 Theyre talking about your finger, you know. 59:17 - 59:20 One card. Dealer takes one. 59:20 - 59:22 See, that didnt hurt. 59:22 - 59:26 - Will you hold this drumstick? - Manchester has a good drummer. 59:26 - 59:29 Well, I dont just drum with it, do I? 59:29 - 59:31 - What else then? - I use it, you know. 59:31 - 59:35 Quite a good-looking fellow, too. Ill raise you. 59:35 - 59:39 You havent used that finger in the past hour and were in danger. 59:39 - 59:42 Me and Paul havent seen you use of that finger, have we? 59:42 - 59:44 - No. - And again. 59:44 - 59:49 Were risking our lives to preserve a useless member. 59:49 - 59:51 That bloke with Scott, 59:51 - 59:54 Ive always admired the way he went into the snow for his mates. 59:54 - 59:59 - And again. - Youre joking! 59:59 - 60:11 Just hold this drumstick. 60:11 - 60:14 Youve raised it a little bundle on the quiet. 60:14 - 60:17 - Its like having a tooth out. - Ive got a good hand. 60:17 - 60:20 You only lay out money is when youve got five aces. 60:20 - 60:23 - Do you want to see me? - Youre joking... take it. 60:23 - 60:25 I will see... Ive won it. 60:25 - 60:29 - Cut. - No! 60:29 - 60:31 I think tea, dont you? Tea. 60:31 - 60:34 They expect me to cut my finger off. 60:34 - 60:36 The famous finger, eh? 60:36 - 60:39 So the police are extended giving the famous protection, 60:39 - 60:45 for which we are justly proud in this country, for a finger, eh? 60:45 - 60:48 Whats that... Its haunted, you know. 60:48 - 60:52 - Are you going to cut? - No, Im not and let that be an end to it. 60:52 - 60:54 End to it! 60:54 - 61:12 This wing of the palace is haunted. 61:12 - 61:14 We wont leave this palace alive. 61:14 - 61:18 The Queen will have something to say about that. 61:18 - 61:20 - Whats that? - I beg your pardon? 61:20 - 61:30 - That thing coming through his stomach. - I darent look! 61:30 - 61:36 Its only a hose. 61:36 - 61:39 61:39 - 61:48 - Its for you. - Its the gardener. 61:48 - 61:53 Ill stick it out the window. 61:53 - 61:56 61:56 - 62:01 Eyes left. 62:01 - 62:04 62:04 - 62:10 Eyes front! 62:10 - 62:14 Must be their tea break. 62:14 - 62:17 Hands up! 62:17 - 62:19 Hands up! Quick! 62:19 - 62:22 Come on, lets have you. 62:22 - 62:27 Steady! 62:27 - 62:32 There goes my knighthood. You, left hand... 62:32 - 62:37 Lets have that ring. 62:37 - 62:52 62:52 - 62:56 Its me, you fool. 62:56 - 63:00 - Quick! Quick! - Lets catch him! 63:00 - 63:03 This should work, its from Harvard. 63:03 - 63:08 - It looks like a laser. - Its a relativity cadenza. 63:08 - 63:10 That should slow them down a bit. 63:10 - 63:14 There, point it down the hall. Quickly! 63:14 - 63:18 Hurry up with the plug, Ill align the sights... Yes! 63:18 - 63:20 Right, good. 63:20 - 63:22 I think it is a laser. 63:22 - 63:24 Oh! 63:24 - 63:28 Oh... 63:28 - 63:43 63:43 - 63:44 A royal fuse has just blown. 63:44 - 63:47 63:47 - 64:04 - it is a rela... teva... camenza... - Bad machine! 64:04 - 64:05 64:05 - 64:10 Hair dryer, Ill bet she had one for Christmas. 64:10 - 64:11 64:11 - 64:15 We are going for a friendly walk with the police down by the river. 64:15 - 64:18 Ooh, look at that. 64:18 - 64:28 - Its a band. - 64:28 - 64:31 Paint! Paint! 64:31 - 64:35 Come on, quickly! Get them, men. Im with you. 64:35 - 64:39 After them! After them! Quick! 64:39 - 64:46 Look. 64:46 - 64:49 Oh, lovely pub. 64:49 - 64:59 Two lagers and lime and two lagers and lime, please. 64:59 - 65:06 - Looks like its me again. - Everythings relative, you know. 65:06 - 65:09 - Well, you didnt miss your tonsils. - How do you know? 65:09 - 65:11 Why dont you chop it off, Ringo? 65:11 - 65:15 Look John, Ive had some great times with this finger. 65:15 - 65:17 How do you know I wouldnt miss it? 65:17 - 65:19 Youre a rat underneath. 65:19 - 65:22 You can have a fire and theft policy. Five quid a week. 65:22 - 65:26 Its because youre a Beatle that your fingers wasnt on it. 65:26 - 65:29 - Is there a cure for nail biting? - Oh, yes. 65:29 - 65:32 Oh, yes! 65:32 - 65:47 Im always getting winked at these days. It used to be you, Paul. 65:47 - 65:48 Oh, Sorry Ringo. 65:48 - 66:22 Peep boo! 66:22 - 66:28 All the rungs have been neatly sawn in the middle. 66:28 - 66:30 Ah, the window! 66:30 - 66:35 66:35 - 66:38 - Your famous Ringo is safe. - No, he isnt. 66:38 - 66:47 What? Cover all exits. Sharp lookout. 66:47 - 67:02 67:02 - 67:06 67:06 - 67:14 - Dont move. - You heard what she said. 67:14 - 67:19 Do you know Beethovens 9th symphony? 67:19 - 67:21 It goes like this... 67:21 - 67:24 67:24 - 67:32 67:32 - 67:37 - What? - This trap door. 67:37 - 67:40 Oh, here you are... 67:40 - 67:46 Permit me. 67:46 - 67:50 Its Raja, the famous Bengal man-eater who escaped from the zoo this morning. 67:50 - 67:53 - So it is! - Dont worry, hes harmless. 67:53 - 67:57 All you have to do is sing Beethovens Ode to Joy from the 9th symphony. 67:57 - 68:02 - Why didnt you think of that? - Raja was reared on the classics. 68:02 - 68:07 Dont worry, just whistle famous Beethovens famous 9th symphony. 68:07 - 68:09 Come on! Come on! 68:09 - 68:11 68:11 - 68:37 68:37 - 68:45 68:45 - 68:57 68:57 - 68:59 Beep, beep! 68:59 - 69:01 Psst! 69:01 - 69:04 - Who let it out? - Nobody will know. 69:04 - 69:07 Were not going there. 69:07 - 69:11 - We just put it round were going there. - Were not going there. 69:11 - 69:15 - We just put it round. - So everyone thinks were going there? 69:15 - 69:17 - Id like to go there. - You wouldnt like it. 69:17 - 69:33 - Where are we going? - Never you mind. 69:33 - 69:42 69:42 - 70:05 - Youre welcome. - Goodbye, sir. 70:05 - 70:43 Him! 70:43 - 70:46 - Welcome to Nassau. - Thank you very much. 70:46 - 70:50 Id like to present PC 17... 70:50 - 70:52 - PC 6... - Very smart. 70:52 - 70:55 - PC 47... - Uh-huh. 70:55 - 70:58 - PC 6 of 3... - Oh. 70:58 - 71:00 - PC 9... - Hmm. 71:00 - 71:03 - PC 85... - Mmm. 71:03 - 71:05 - PC 4... - Yes. 71:05 - 71:13 PC 21, PC 85... 71:13 - 71:16 You should have thought of that before you left the house. 71:16 - 71:20 Left... To shore... Port, starboard! 71:20 - 71:25 ♪ For I have got another girl 71:25 - 71:26 ♪ Another girl 71:26 - 71:32 ♪ Youre making me say that Ive got nobody but you 71:32 - 71:37 ♪ But as from today, well Ive got somebody thats new 71:37 - 71:41 ♪ I aint no fool and I dont take what I dont want 71:41 - 71:47 ♪ For I have got another girl 71:47 - 71:48 ♪ Another girl 71:48 - 71:53 ♪ Shes sweeter than all the girls and I met quite a few 71:53 - 71:59 ♪ Nobody in all the world can do what she can do 71:59 - 72:03 ♪ And so Im telling you this time youd better stop 72:03 - 72:08 ♪ For I have got another girl 72:08 - 72:14 ♪ Another girl who will love me till the end 72:14 - 72:21 ♪ Through thick and thin she will always be my friend 72:21 - 72:26 ♪ I dont wanna say that Ive been unhappy with you 72:26 - 72:31 ♪ But as from today, well Ive seen somebody thats new 72:31 - 72:36 ♪ I aint no fool and I dont take what I dont want 72:36 - 72:42 ♪ For I have got another girl 72:42 - 72:47 ♪ Another girl who will love me till the end 72:47 - 72:54 ♪ Through thick and thin she will always be my friend 72:54 - 73:00 ♪ I dont wanna say that Ive been unhappy with you 73:00 - 73:05 ♪ But as from today, well Ive seen somebody thats new 73:05 - 73:10 ♪ I aint no fool and I dont take what I dont want 73:10 - 73:15 ♪ For I have got another girl 73:15 - 73:25 ♪ Another girl, another girl ♪ 73:25 - 73:32 - Lets play a game, eh? Beep-beeps. - OK. 73:32 - 73:35 Beep-beep, beep-beep! 73:35 - 73:38 73:38 - 73:43 Oh, oh, oh! 73:43 - 73:47 Radars broken! Never mind. 73:47 - 73:51 Beatles! Hello! 73:51 - 73:53 Port... Starboard... Over there! 73:53 - 73:57 Oh, oh, oh! 73:57 - 74:05 Ah! A-ha, a-ha, a-ha! 74:05 - 74:08 Open that rock! 74:08 - 74:10 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 74:10 - 74:13 - Is that it? - Better watch your fingers, Ringo! 74:13 - 74:17 Clang had the whole temple transported here for your sacrifice. 74:17 - 74:19 He neednt have bothered. Very nice of him, though. 74:19 - 74:23 - Whats this? - This is where youll be disembowelled. 74:23 - 74:26 You dont go for all that, do you? 74:26 - 74:28 Keeps you busy, eh? 74:28 - 74:32 - Do you know where Clang is? - Im his mother and hes a good boy. 74:32 - 74:33 74:33 - 74:36 I dont want to knock anyones religion, but... 74:36 - 74:41 - In here, quick. - I cant swim. 74:41 - 74:50 Im not going! 74:50 - 75:10 Where have they gone? 75:10 - 75:12 - Lets go back and get them! - Im game. 75:12 - 75:16 - Lets smash them! - Lets find that temple. 75:16 - 75:20 - A mans got to do what hes got to do. - I dont like running away. 75:20 - 75:23 - Lets go back and get them. - Theyll disembowel us. 75:23 - 75:27 - Not if I get the boot in first. - Lets go back and get them. 75:27 - 75:46 They wont disembowel us, you see. Thats all gab - disembowelling... 75:46 - 75:49 - Signpost. - Signpost. 75:49 - 75:52 - Guide book. - Guide book. 75:52 - 75:56 - Feet. - Feet? Oh, feet! 75:56 - 75:57 Red light. 75:57 - 76:00 Kaili! 76:00 - 76:12 - Green light, go! - Kaili! 76:12 - 76:15 The things we have to do in these heathen countries. 76:15 - 76:29 There must be an easier way to set a trap! 76:29 - 76:34 - Easterner speaks with forked tongue. - What does he say? 76:34 - 76:37 Passing this way with hot foot to the temple. 76:37 - 76:40 Dont encourage him! Youve got the part, Paul. 76:40 - 76:44 - Dare we ask how you know? - How! I saw those footprints... 76:44 - 76:47 And this guidebook. 76:47 - 77:03 - To the temple. - 77:03 - 77:21 After them... slowly! 77:21 - 77:25 - Thats not it, is it? - Its on the map as being here. 77:25 - 77:30 That temple under the rock, that swimming pool that we came up in... 77:30 - 77:34 - Im lost! - This isnt a temple, is it? 77:34 - 77:38 - So this is a famous temple? - Should be. Its gone. 77:38 - 77:41 I hope that disembowelling thingy has gone, too. 77:41 - 77:44 - Was there ever a temple here? - Never, sir. 77:44 - 77:49 Old army place. Well-known place of retreat for courting couples 77:49 - 77:51 who like the echoes of bugles as they court. 77:51 - 77:54 Thats my theory. 77:54 - 77:56 Ugh! 77:56 - 77:58 - Arent we going in? - No, lets not. 77:58 - 78:01 Oh, come on lads, wheres that famous pluck? 78:01 - 78:04 - I havent got any. Have you, George? - Did have. 78:04 - 78:08 - I have had. - I will have. 78:08 - 78:10 Hes a bit soft that inspector, isnt he? 78:10 - 78:12 He never takes his hat off. 78:12 - 78:30 Its very hot over here for wearing a hat. 78:30 - 78:35 - Im off. - Typical! 78:35 - 78:37 Kaili! 78:37 - 78:39 Argh! 78:39 - 78:44 - Kaili! - Kaili! 78:44 - 78:46 78:46 - 78:50 The fiends! Theyve electrified the wire with high tension. HT. 78:50 - 79:06 The fiends! 79:06 - 79:08 Help me! 79:08 - 79:10 Help! 79:10 - 79:12 Hes mine! 79:12 - 79:15 Help! 79:15 - 79:42 Help me! 79:42 - 79:48 Theres one on the back, but its not the right one. 79:48 - 79:54 Come here, boy! Let me explain. 79:54 - 80:00 This is no time for foolish tricks! This is a hired car. 80:00 - 80:03 Back up and smash him off. 80:03 - 80:07 Now, this will get him! 80:07 - 80:11 Oh! Never mind. Try again. 80:11 - 80:17 This should give him a headache. 80:17 - 80:20 Wheres he gone? 80:20 - 80:23 - Thats done it, hes gone. - I cant start the car. 80:23 - 80:26 - - Hello. 80:26 - 80:31 Oh, hello! Hang on a minute... 80:31 - 80:36 On, on! 80:36 - 80:38 I seem to be having a slight difficulty. 80:38 - 80:51 To the right! oh... 80:51 - 80:56 - I think it might be the wrong key. - On! 80:56 - 80:59 On! 80:59 - 81:04 81:04 - 81:20 Got it. Didnt take long, did it? 81:20 - 81:28 Thanks for the lift, sailor! 81:28 - 81:31 - Where did the thugs go? - Theyve vanished. 81:31 - 81:33 - Hes got a plan. - Avery famous plan. 81:33 - 81:35 Superintendent, youve got a plan. 81:35 - 81:37 - Yes... - Superintendent. 81:37 - 83:21 Ive got a plan. 83:21 - 83:23 Ringo! 83:23 - 83:25 Ringo! 83:25 - 83:28 - Ringo! - Ringo! 83:28 - 83:30 - Ringo! - Ringo! 83:30 - 83:32 Ringo! 83:32 - 83:34 83:34 - 83:46 Ringo! 83:46 - 83:47 All right, talk! 83:47 - 83:55 We know hes a prisoner, but where? 83:55 - 83:57 - Im a perfect surgeon. - Huh? 83:57 - 84:00 - Im a perfect surgeon. - He was asked to take it up. 84:00 - 84:03 Alas... Scalpel. 84:03 - 84:12 Sca... 84:12 - 84:15 Sand in the generator. 84:15 - 84:18 It gets everywhere. No wonder I never get anything done. 84:18 - 84:21 Fix it, Algernon. 84:21 - 84:24 You wouldnt want me to go in with a blunt scalpel. 84:24 - 84:26 Fix it! 84:26 - 84:30 Im a decent employer, but he takes advantage of me. 84:30 - 84:37 - Its the heat, it makes him stroppy. - Luckily. 84:37 - 84:40 Ive got some juice. 84:40 - 84:44 I cant understand it. They kept pulling my nose. Mine of all noses! 84:44 - 84:48 - Whats that? - Distilled from the essence of orchids. 84:48 - 84:52 Hands up! 84:52 - 84:54 - Whats that? - Distilled from the essence... 84:54 - 84:59 Not distilled from the essence of orchids found only in certain recesses? 84:59 - 85:05 At last! Ill have my just reward. Give it to me! Sir Tberius Foot Juice! 85:05 - 85:08 - But the ring... - Who needs it now that I have this. 85:08 - 85:11 - Do you know what this is? - A Webley automatic... 85:11 - 85:15 Its Nobel Prize juice. Set sail for home, for England! A jewel set in the sea! 85:15 - 85:18 The government in the palm of my hand. Whats it say? 85:18 - 85:20 - Youre going on a sea voyage... - No, this! 85:20 - 85:24 - I dont know. - Havent you a degree in Eastern? 85:24 - 85:27 - I dont think so. - Lets get it translated. 85:27 - 85:33 - Now! - Right! 85:33 - 85:43 - I cant swim. - What do you mean you cant swim? 85:43 - 85:46 Treacherous Woman, tremble... 85:46 - 85:49 In the name of Preverti, daughter of the mountains, 85:49 - 85:52 whose embrace with Rani made the whole world tremble. 85:52 - 85:55 - Wait till my mates get you. - I dont think so... 85:55 - 86:00 Weve had two battalions flown in specially to ambush your friends. 86:00 - 86:02 Theyre quite merciless. 86:02 - 86:08 One word of warning from you and you die instantly. 86:08 - 86:11 Oh, mother Kaili, 86:11 - 86:13 whose name is the Terrible... 86:13 - 86:15 Im going to miss the sacrifice. 86:15 - 86:18 ...whose name is the inaccessible, 86:18 - 86:24 whose name is the Black Mother, mother of darkness! 86:24 - 86:25 We turn our hearts to... 86:25 - 86:27 No! 86:27 - 86:29 ...drinker of blood... 86:29 - 86:32 - Its off! Im saved! - ...killer of demons, 86:32 - 86:36 drink of this vessel, gorge on this blood, our offering... 86:36 - 86:40 Get sacrificed! I dont subscribe to your religion! 86:40 - 86:44 - There he is! - It just came off! 86:44 - 86:46 Quickly! After them! 86:46 - 86:48 Im going to miss the sacrifice. 86:48 - 86:52 - It came off! I just showed courage. - How many fingers you got left? 86:52 - 86:55 - Youre all red again. - Im beginning to like it. 86:55 - 86:59 Ah... So! Ha! 86:59 - 87:01 He who wears the ring... 87:01 - 87:04 ♪ Help! I need somebody 87:04 - 87:06 ♪ Help! Not just anybody 87:06 - 87:09 ♪ Help! You know I need someone 87:09 - 87:11 ♪ Help! 87:11 - 87:16 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 87:16 - 87:21 ♪ I never needed anybodys help in anyway 87:21 - 87:27 ♪ But now these days are gone Im not so self assured 87:27 - 87:31 ♪ Now I find Ive changed my mind, Ive opened up the doors 87:31 - 87:36 ♪ Help me if you can Im feeling down 87:36 - 87:41 ♪ And I do appreciate you being round 87:41 - 87:46 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 87:46 - 87:52 ♪ Wont you please, please help me? 87:52 - 87:57 ♪ And now my life has changed in oh so many ways 87:57 - 88:02 ♪ My independence seems to vanish in the haze 88:02 - 88:07 ♪ But evry now and then I feel so insecure 88:07 - 88:12 ♪ I know that I just need you like Ive never done before 88:12 - 88:16 ♪ Help me if you can Im feeling down 88:16 - 88:22 ♪ And I do appreciate you being round 88:22 - 88:27 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 88:27 - 88:32 ♪ Wont you please, please help me? 88:32 - 88:38 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 88:38 - 88:43 ♪ I never needed anybodys help in anyway 88:43 - 88:48 ♪ But now these days are gone Im not so self assured 88:48 - 88:53 ♪ Now I find Ive changed my mind, Ive opened up the doors 88:53 - 88:57 ♪ Help me if you can Im feeling down 88:57 - 89:03 ♪ And I do appreciate you being round 89:03 - 89:07 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 89:07 - 89:11 ♪ Wont you please, please help me? 89:11 - 89:14 ♪ Help me, help me 89:14 - 89:21 ♪ Ooh ♪

Hello little girl Hello little girl Hello little girl When I see you everyday I say, Mm mm hello little girl When youre passing on your way I say, Mm mm hello little girl When I see you passing by I cry, Mm mm hello little girl When I try to catch your eye I cry, Mm mm hello little girl I send you flowers but you dont care You never seem to see me standing there I often wonder what youre thinking of I hope its me and love love love So I hope therell come a day When youll say, Mm youre my little girl Its not the first time that its happened to me Its been a long lonely time And its funny funny to see that Im about to lose my mind mind mind So I hope therell come a day When you say, Mm mm Youre my little girl, mm mm mm Youre my little girl, mm mm mm Youre my little girl, oh yeah Youre my little girl Do do do do do

I call your name but youre not there Was I to blame for being unfair Oh I cant sleep at night Since youve been gone I never weep at night I cant go on Dont you know I cant take it I dont know who can Im not going to make it Im not that kind of man Oh I cant sleep at night But just the same I never weep at night I call your name Oh! Dont you know I cant take it I dont know who can Im not going to make it Im not that kind of man Oh I cant sleep at night But just the same I never weep at night I call your name I call your name I call your name Woo, I call your name

And we made a recording with him called My Bonnie which got to number five in the German hit parade but laughs it never... it didnt do a thing over here My Bonnie lies over the ocean My Bonnie lies over the sea My Bonnie lies over the ocean Oh bring back my Bonnie to me My Bonnie lies over the ocean My Bonnie lies over the sea Well my Bonnie lies over the ocean Yeah bring back my Bonnie to me Yeah bring back, ah bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me to me Oh bring back, oh bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me Well my Bonnie lies over the ocean My Bonnie lies over the sea Yeah my Bonnie lies over the ocean Oh I said bring back my Bonnie to me Yeah bring back, ah bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me to me Oh bring back, oh bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me

On the road to Rishikesh I was dreaming more or less And the dream I had was true Yes, the dream I had was true Im just a child of nature I dont need much to set me free Im just child of nature Im one of natures children Sunlight shining in your eyes As I face the desert skies And my thoughts return to home Yes, my thoughts return to home Im just a child of nature I dont need much to set me free Im just a child of nature Im one natures children Underneath the mountain ranges Where the wind that never changes Touch the windows of my soul Touch the windows of my soul Im just a child of nature I dont need much to set me free Im just a child of nature Im one of natures children

Please dont wake me up too late Tomorrow comes, and I will not be late Late today when it becomes tomorrow I will leave and go away Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye My love, goodbye Songs that linger on my lips Excite me now and linger on my mind Leave your flowers at my door I leave them for the one who waits behind Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye My love, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye My love, goodbye Far away my lover sings A lonely song and calls me to his side Where the sound of lonely drums Invites me on, I must be by his side Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye My love, goodbye Goodbye Ah, ha, ha, ha Bye, bye

Gnik nus eht semoc ereh Gnik nus eht semoc ereh Gnihgual sydobyreve Yppah sydobyreve Gnik nus eht semoc ereh

{Intro} I said Im sittin here watchin Matchbox hole in my clothes I said Im sittin here wonderin Matchbox hole in my clothes I aint got no matches but I sure Got a long way to go Im an ole poor boy, and Im a Long way from home Im an ole poor boy, and Im a Long way from home Ive never been happy cause everything I Ever did was wrong Well, if you dont want my peaches, honey Please dont shake my tree If you dont want any of those peaches honey Please dont mess around my tree I got news for you baby Leave me here in misery Alright! {Bridge} Well, let me be your little dog Till your big dog comes Let me be your little dog Till your big dog comes And when your big dog gets here Watch how your puppy dog runs Well, I said Im sittin here watchin Matchbox hole in my clothes I said Im sittin here watchin Matchbox hole in my clothes I aint got no matches but I sure Got a long way to go

Well, come on pretty baby, wont you walk with me? Come on, pretty baby, wont you talk with me? Come on pretty baby, give me one more chance Try to save our romance! Slow down, baby, now youre moving way too fast You gotta gimme little lovin, gimme little loving Ow! If you want our love to last Well, I used to walk you home, baby, after school Carry your books home, too But now you got a boyfriend down the street Baby what youre trying to do? You better slow down! Baby, now youre moving way too fast You gotta gimme little lovin, gimme little loving Brrr! If you want our love to last Ooh! Ooh! Well, you know that I love you, tell the world I do Come on, pretty baby, why cant you be true? I need your loving, oh so bad The best little woman I ever had Slow down! Baby, now youre moving way too fast You gotta gimme little lovin, gimme little loving Awe! If you want our love to last Woo!

Red light Demo take one If you want it, here it is Come and get it Make your mind up fast If you want it, any time I can give it But you better hurry because it may not last Did I hear you say that there must be a catch? Will you walk away from a fool and his money? If you want it, here it is Come and get it But you better hurry because its going fast If you want it, here it is Come and get it Make your mind up fast If you want it, any time I can give it But you better hurry because it may not last Did I hear you say that there must be a catch? Will you walk away from a fool and his money? Sonny, if you want it, here it is Come and get it But youd better hurry because its going fast Youd better hurry because its going fast Woo, fool and his money Sonny, if you want it, here it is Come and get it But youd better hurry because its going fast Youd better hurry because its going fast Youd better hurry because its going fast

Ah, Kansas City Coming to get my baby back home Yeah, yeah Im gonna Kansas city Coming to get my baby back home Yeah, yeah Well, its a long, long, time Since my babys been gone Ah, Kansas City Coming to get my baby on time Yeah, yeah Im gonna Kansas City Coming to get my baby on time Yeah, yeah Its just a one, two, three, four Five, six, seven, eight, nine, wah Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, baby, youre no clown I say youre no clown Now, now, now, now Tell me baby Whats been wrong with you Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, baby, youre no clown I say youre no clown Now, now, now, now Tell me baby Whats been wrong with you Well, Ill say bye Bye, bye, baby bye, bye Oh, so long Bye, bye, baby Im gone Yeah, I said Bye, bye, baby, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye Well, Ill say bye Bye, bye, baby bye, bye Oh, so long Bye, bye, baby Im gone Yeah, I said Bye, bye, baby, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye

Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeah Du glaubst sie liebt nur mich Gestern had ich sie gesehen Sie denkt ja nur an dich Und du solltest zu ihr gehen Oh, ja sie liebt dich Schoner kann es garnicht sein Ja, sie liebt dich Und da solltest du dich freuen Du hast ihr weh getan Sie wusste nicht warum Du warst nicht schuld daran Und drehtest dich nicht um Oh, ja sie liebt dich Schoner kann es garnicht sein Ja, sie liebt dich Und da solltest du dich freuen, woo Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh Denn mit dir allein Kann sie nur glucklich sein Du musst jetzt zu ihr gehen Entschuldige dich bei ihr Ja das wird sie verstehen Und dann verzeit sie dir Oh, ja sie liebt dich Schoner kann es garnicht sein Ja, sie liebt dich Und da solltest du dich freuen, ooh Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh Sie liebt dich, yeh, yeh, yeh Denn mit dir allein Kann sie nur glucklich sein Denn mit dir allein Kann sie nur glucklich sein Denn mit dir allein Kann sie nur glucklich sein Yeh, yeh, yeh Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeah

Not guilty For getting in your way, while you try to steal the day Not guilty Im not nodding for the rest, Im not trying to steal your vest I am not trying to be smart I only want what I can get Im really sorry for your aging head, but like you heard me said Not guilty Though you signing me a writ, while Im trying to do my bit I dont expect to take your heart I only want what I can get Im really sorry that youre underfed, but like you heard me said Not guilty Not guilty For looking like a freak, making friends with every Sikh Not guilty For leading you astray on the road to Mandalay I wont upset the apple cart I only want what I can get Im really sorry that youve been mislead, but like you heard me said Not guilty

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away Now it looks as though theyre here to stay Oh, I believe in yesterday Suddenly, Im not half the man I used to be Theres a shadow hanging over me Oh, yesterday came suddenly Why she had to go I dont know she wouldnt say I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play Now I need a place to hide away Oh, I believe in yesterday Why she had to go I dont know she wouldnt say I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play Now I need a place to hide away Oh, I believe in yesterday Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Oh, oh, oh youve been good to me You made me glad When I was blue And eternally Ill always be In love with you And all I gotta do Is thank you girl, thank you girl I could tell the world A thing or two about our love I know little girl Only a fool would doubt our love And all I gotta do Is thank you girl, thank you girl Thank you girl for loving me The way that you do Thats the kind of love That is too good to be true And all I gotta do Is thank you girl, thank you girl Oh, oh, youve been good to me You made me glad When I was blue And eternally Ill always be In love with you And all I gotta do Is thank you girl, thank you girl Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh

My Bonnie lies over the ocean My Bonnie lies over the sea My Bonnie lies over the ocean Oh bring back my Bonnie to me My Bonnie lies over the ocean My Bonnie lies over the sea Well my Bonnie lies over the ocean Yeah bring back my Bonnie to me Yeah bring back, ah bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me to me Oh bring back, oh bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me Well my Bonnie lies over the ocean My Bonnie lies over the sea Yeah my Bonnie lies over the ocean Oh I said bring back my Bonnie to me Yeah bring back, ah bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me to me Oh bring back, ah bring back Oh bring back my Bonnie to me

Motorcars Handlebars Bicycles for two Broken hearted jubilee Parachutes Army boots Sleeping bags for two Sentimental jamboree Motorcars Handlebars Bicycles for you Broken hearted jubilee Parachutes Army boots Sleeping bags for two Sentimental jamboree Ah, ah The shop window Why why, says the sign In the yard Buy buy, says the sign In the shop window Why why, says the junk In the yard

Well Im the sheik of Araby Your love belongs to me Well at night where youre asleep Into your tent Ill creep The stars that shine above Will light our way to love Ah you rule this world with me Im the sheik of Araby Well Im the sheik of Araby Your love belongs to me Well at night where youre asleep Into your tent Ill creep The sun that shines above Will light our way to love You rule this world with me Im the sheik of Araby Well Im the sheik of Araby Well Im the sheik of Araby, yeah

Oh aint she sweet? Well see her walking down that street Yes I ask you very confidentially Aint she sweet? Oh aint she nice? Well look her over once or twice Yes I ask you, very confidentially Aint she nice? Just cast an eye In her direction Oh me, oh my Aint that perfection? Oh I repeat Well dont you think thats kind of neat? Yes I ask you, very confidentially Aint she sweet? Oh aint she sweet? Well see her walking down that street? Yes I ask you, very confidentially Aint she sweet? Oh aint she nice? Well look her over once or twice Yes I ask you, very confidentially Aint she nice? Just cast an eye In her direction Oh me, oh my Aint that perfection? Oh I repeat Well dont you think thats kind of neat? Yes I ask you, very confidentially Aint she sweet? Oh aint she sweet? Well see her walking down that street? Well I ask you, very confidentially Aint she sweet? Well I ask you, very confidentially Aint she sweet?

She looks as an African Queen She eating twelve chapattis and cream She tastes as Mongolian lamb She coming from out of Bahran What a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame Mary Jane what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party She like to be married with Yetti He grooving such cookie spaghetti She jumping as Mexican bean To make that her body morphine What a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame Mary Jane what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party She catch Patagonian pancake With that one and gin party makes She having always good contact She making with Apple and contract [Chorus What a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame Mary Jane what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party All together now What a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what a shame what a shame what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what a shame what a shame what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what a shame what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame Mary Jane Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame Mary Jane what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame Mary Jane what a shame She looks as an African Queen She tastes as Mongolian lamb What a shame Mary Jane what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party All together now What a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what what a shame Mary Jane had a pain at the party What a shame what a shame what a shame what a shame Lets hear it Before we get taken away-

We were four guys, that, eh... I met Paul, said, dy wanna join me band, you know and then George joined and then Ringo joined. We were just a band that made it very, very big, Thats all Long time ago when we was band on the run Long time ago when we was band on the run Band on the run Long time ago when we was band on the run If I ever get out of here Thought of giving it all away To a registered charity All I need is a pint a day If I ever get out of here If we ever get out of here Back when income tax was all we had But its all over now baby blue Long time ago when we was band on the run Long time ago when we was band on the run Band on the run Long time ago when we was band on the run Take you away Take you away If I ever get out of here Thought of giving it all away To a registered charity All I need is a pint a day If I ever get out of here If we ever get out of here Back when income tax was all we had And youve really got a hold me Long time ago when we was band on the run Long time ago when we was band on the run Band on the run Long time ago when we was band on the run

Can you take me back where I came from? Can you take me back? Can you take me back where I came from? Brother, can you take me back? Can you take me back? Mm, can you take me where I came from? Can you take me back?

Standing in the garden waiting for the sun to shine Hand me my umbrella when she says she wish she was mine Everybody does think a thing it didnt come Instead of watching rainbows Im gonna make me some Instead of watching rainbows Im gonna make me some Standing in the garden waiting for the English sun to come and make me brown so I can be someone Looking at the bench of next door neighbors Crying to my mom of diamond tooth sabers Everybodys got to have something hard to hold Well instead of watching rainbows under the sun You gotta get out son and make you one You gotta get out son and make you one Because youre not gonna make it if you cry cry cry I know Shoot big Shoot big Whatever you do you gotta kill somebody to get what you wanna get You gotta shoot big You gotta shoot big Until you shoot big I cant stand it

If you ever leave me, Ill be sad and blue Dont you ever leave me, Im so in love with you The birds in the sky would be sad and lonely If they knew that I lost my one and only Theyd be sad if youre bad to me The leaves on the trees would be softly sighing If they heard from the breeze that you left me crying Theyd be sad, dont be bad to me But I know you wont leave me cos you told me so And Ive no intention of letting you go Just as long as you let me know, you wont be bad to me So the birds in the sky wont be sad and lonely Cos they know I got my one and only Theyll be glad youre not bad to me Theyll be glad youre not bad to me, to me, to me

1. EXTERIOR STREETS OUTSIDE RAILWAY TERMINAL DAY The film opens with crowds of girls, shot in a sequence of CLOSE-UPS, chasing after GEORGE, JOHN and RINGO. The boys hare off just ahead of them. They take a turn down a back alley way and the crowds of screaming girls are after them. 2. EXT. TERMINAL They rush on through the narrow cobbled passageway and into the main station, quickly show their tickets at the barrier for the London train, and get onto the platform as hordes of yelling and screaming girls reach the closed gates. 3. EXT. TERMINAL PLATFORM We see the fans rushing to the few platform ticket machines, and endless pennies being dropped and tickets torn out in their haste to get onto the platform to see the boys. NORM has been waiting for the boys and he hurries them to where all their baggage, instruments and the drums are waiting, piled up to be put into the guards van. The boys turn and see the oncoming stream of girls pushing through the barriers and descending on them with yells and shouts. They grab their instruments, RINGO makes for the drums. NORM plugs into a handy transformer and using their instruments like a gun volley to stop the onrush of females, the boys blast fire into a number and start to sing. This stops the girls in their tracks and they settle down on whatever they can to listen to them playing. As the boys are playing, we CUT BACK into the crowds. In the centre we see PAUL struggling and pulling to fight his way through the girls to join the other boys. He is dragging a very reluctant old man behind him. The old man seems most disgruntled and we can see by his gestures how unwilling he is to be pulled and pushed forward through all the girls. At last PAUL reaches the other boys. He sits the old man down on a pile of cases and joins in the number to the squeals of delight from the fans. The old man sits aloof and proud ignoring the whole proceedings. JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO look enquiringly at PAUL who gives a noncommittal shrug of the shoulders as if to say, its not my fault and the number proceeds. SHOT of sudden horror on JOHNs face. PAUL follows his eye line only to see the old man has doffed his cap and is busily collecting money from a disconcerted crowd. PAUL dives hastily into the crowd, and with suitable apologies extracts the old man and with a long suffering sigh drags him back to the group. GEORGE and PAUL hold him firmly as they finish the number, the old man standing there between them. As the number finishes and the girls scream and shout with delight, the guard blows his whistle. NORM and SHAKE grab the instruments and the drums, and with the rest piles the lot into the guards van. The BOYS head into their reserved compartment pursued by the fans but the train moves off. They have successfully repelled all extra boarders. THE BOYS stand and wave to the fans until out of sight line ... the girls running along to the end of the platform waving and calling out. 4. INTERIOR RESERVED COMPARTMENT IN THE TRAIN The boys relax, sitting down on one side of the compartment. They are about to settle down and make themselves at home when first RINGO nudges GEORGE who in turn nudges JOHN. Opposite them is sitting the LITTLE OLD MAN. He is holding himself stiff, erect and very aloof. The three boys look at him enquiringly but with an elaborate sniff he looks away from them and out of the window. PAUL catches his eye and winks at the LITTLE OLD MAN. He winks back at PAUL, scowls at the other three then looks firmly out of the window again. The boys turn on PAUL crowding around him. JOHN Eh ... pardon me for asking but whos that little old man? PAUL What little old man? JOHN That little old man. PAUL Oh, that one. Thats me Grandfather. GEORGE Thats not your Grandfather. PAUL It is, yknow. GEORGE But your Grandfather lives in your house. Ive seen him. PAUL Oh, thats me other Grandfather, but this ones me Grandfather and all. JOHN How dyou reckon that one out? PAUL Well ... everyones entitled to two, arent they, and this is me other one. JOHN Well we know that but whats he doing here? PAUL Well, me mother thought the trip ud do him good. RINGO Hows that? PAUL Oh ... hes nursing a broken heart. The lads all look intently at the GRANDFATHER. JOHN Aah ... the poor old thing. He leans across to GRANDFATHER. JOHN Eh, Mister... are you nursing a broken heart then? The GRANDFATHER nods soulfully glares at him, in a way that indicates yes. PAUL You see, he was going to get married but she threw him over for a butcher. GEORGE A butcher? PAUL Yeah, she was fickle. JOHN Aye and fond of fresh meat and all. PAUL No ... it was his sweetbreads. She was dead kinky for sweetbreads. Anyroad, me mother thought itud give him a change of scenery, like. JOHN Oh, I see. He inspects GRANDFATHER carefully. JOHN Eh, hes a nice old man, isnt he? PAUL Oh yeah, hes very clean, yknow. They all agree with PAUL. JOHN has been examining GRANDFATHER. He now leans forward to him. JOHN Hello, Grandfather! GRANDFATHER Hello. JOHN He can talk then? PAUL Course he can talk. Hes a human being, like. Isnt he? RINGO Well ... if hes your Grandfather, who knows? The lads all laugh. JOHN And were looking after him, are we? GRANDFATHER Ill look after meself. PAUL Aye, thats what Im afraid of! JOHN Hes got you worried, then? PAUL Him, he costs you a fortune in breach-of-promise cases. Hes a villain and a right mixer as well. GEORGE Gerron. PAUL No, straight up. GRANDFATHER The lads given you the simple truth. Im cursed wid irresistible charm, Im too attractive to be let loose. At this moment, SHAKE, a tall man who works with the BOYS, pulls open the door of the compartment. SHAKE You got on all right then? BOYS Hi, Shake. SHAKE Were here. Normll be along in a mo with the tickets. He sees GRANDFATHER. SHAKE Morning! Whos that little old man? GEORGE Its Pauls grandfather. SHAKE Oh aye, but I thought ... JOHN No, thats his other one. SHAKE Thats all right then. JOHN Clean though, isnt he? SHAKE Oh yes, hes clean all right. NORM the road manager appears behind SHAKE. NORM Morning, lads. BOYS Morning ... Hi, Norm. NORM Well, thank God youre all got here. Now, listen, Ive had this marvellous idea ... now just for a change, lets all behave like ordinary responsible citizens. Lets not cause any trouble, pull any strokes or do anything Im going to be sorry for, especially tomorrow at the television theatre, because ... He looks sharply at JOHN who is polishing his nails. NORM Are you listening to me, Lennon? JOHN Youre a swine, isnt he George? GEORGE Yeah ... a swine. NORM Thanks... He sees the GRANDFATHER. NORM Eh ... . BOYS IN CHORUS ... Whos that little old man? NORM Well, who is he? RINGO He belongs to Paul. NORM Ah well, there you go. Look, Im going down the diner for a cup of coffee, are you coming? PAUL Well follow you down. GRANDFATHER rises. GRANDFATHER I want me coffee. NORM He can come with Shake and me if you like. PAUL Well, look after him. I dont want to find youve lost him. NORM Dont be cheeky, Ill bind him to me with promises. Come on, Grandad. GRANDFATHER joins SHAKE and NORM. NORM Hes very clean, isnt he? SHAKE and NORM collect GRANDFATHER and are in the process of leaving the compartment when a fat upper class city Englishman, JOHNSON, attempts to enter. There is a bit of confusion and they get tangled up with each other. JOHNSON Make up your minds, will you! At last SHAKE, NORM and GRANDFATHER sort themselves out and JOHNSON enters with his case. The other three go to coffee. JOHNSON puts his case up on the luggage rack, then sits down. All his movements are disgruntled ... he finally picks up his copy of the Financial Times and burying himself behind it, starts to read. After a moment he looks up, notices the compartment window is open. He gets up and without so much as a by your leave he closes it, glares at the BOYS and sits down again. The boys exchange looks as if to say ... Hello, Saucy!! PAUL Do you mind if we have it opened? JOHNSON Yes, I do. JOHN Yeah, but there are four of us, like, and wed like it open, if its all the same to you, that is. JOHNSON Well, it isnt. I travel on this train regularly twice a week, so I suppose Ive some rights. RINGO Aye, well, so have we. He disappears behind his paper before the BOYS can say another word. RINGO pulls a face at the raised paper and switches on his portable radio. A pop number is playing. JOHNSON puts down his paper firmly. JOHNSON And well have that thing off as well, thank you. RINGO But I ... JOHNSON leans over and switches it off. JOHNSON An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts would tell you Im perfectly within my rights. He smiles frostily. PAUL Yeah, but we want to hear it and theres more of us than you. Were a community, like, a majority vote. Up the workers and all that stuff! JOHNSON Then I suggest you take that damned thing into the corridor or some other part of the train where you obviously belong. JOHN Gies a kiss! PAUL Shurrup! Look, Mister, weve paid for our seats too, you know. JOHNSON I travel on this train regularly, twice a week. JOHN Knock it off, Paul, y cant win with his sort. After all, its his train, isnt it, Mister? JOHNSON And dont you take that tone with me, young man! GEORGE But... JOHNSON I fought the war for your sort. RINGO Bet youre sorry you won! JOHNSON Ill call the guard! PAUL Aye ... but what? They dont take kindly to insults you know. Ah, come on, you lot. Lets get a cup of coffee and leave Toby the manger. The boys troop out of the door into the corridor. JOHNSON smiles triumphantly. He is about to settle down to his paper when there is a tap on the corridor window. He looks up and we see pressed against the window a collection of hideous Beatle faces. PAUL Eh, Mister ... can we have our ball back! The man jumps to his feet. 5. INTERIOR OF THE CORRIDOR The boys run away like a pack of school boys and disappear round the corner. 6. INTERIOR OF THE TRAIN CORRIDOR From the P.O.V. of the door leading to the restaurant car. The boys come down the corridor in full flight, laughing away like happy idiots. GEORGE and PAUL pull open the sliding doors. The boys look inside. 7. INTERIOR RESTAURANT CAR From their P.O.V. we see the car is half empty and at a table in the centre SHAKE and NORM and GRANDFATHER are sitting. On the table is a pile of photos of the boys. NORM and SHAKE are arguing. NORM is being very aggressive, much to SHAKEs discomfort. NORM Yeah, you want to watch it. SHAKE Its not my fault. NORM Well, you stick to that story, son. SHAKE I cant help it, Im just taller than you. GRANDFATHER They always say that. NORM Yeah, well I got me eye on you. SHAKE Im sorry Norm, but I cant help being taller than you. NORM Well, you dont have to rub me nose in it. Ive a good mind to ... JOHN If youre going to have a barney Ill hold your coats. NORM He started it. SHAKE No, I didnt you did ... GEORGE Well, what happened? SHAKE The old fella wanted these pictures and Norm said he couldnt have em, all I said was aw go on, be big about it. PAUL And? NORM Your Grandfather pointed out Shake was always being taller than me just to spite me. PAUL I knew it, he started it, I should have known. NORM Ywhat? PAUL You two have never had a quarrel in your life and in two minutes flat hes got you at it. Hes a king mixer. Adam and Eve, meet the serpent. Anthony and Cleopatra, theres your asp. Divide and Conquer, thats this ones motto. He hates group unity so he gets everyone at it. The BOYS, i.e., JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO, look at each other then at PAUL. PAUL Aye and well have to watch it and all. GEORGE I suggest you just give him the photos and have done with it. NORM Youre right. Here you are, old devil. SHAKE and NORM leave. GRANDFATHER grins triumphantly and collects them, then with a sweet smile he turns to PAUL. GRANDFATHER Would you ever sign this one for us, Pauly? PAUL does so automatically but in the middle of signing he gets suspicious. GRANDFATHER smiles at him charmingly so PAUL finishes signing. JOHN Come on lets get this coffee. GRANDFATHER Before you go, I think its only fair to warn you about me Grandson ... dont let our Paul have his own way all the time, cos if you do he wont respect you! JOHN, RINGO and GEORGE take this up straight away. They all pretend to be girls, RINGO jumps into PAULs arms. GEORGE Oh, Paul, you cant have your own way!!! JOHN If I let you have your own way, you little rascal, will you respect me? PAUL Ill murder you, Grandfather! JOHN waltzes PAUL down to an empty table and the lads sit down. GEORGE Eh, look at that talent. They all gaze across the aisle. From their P.O.V. we see two very attractive young girls, RITA and JEAN, having coffee. JOHN Give em a pull. PAUL Shall I? GEORGE Aye, but dont rush. None of your five bar gate jumps and over sort of stuff. PAUL Now whats that supposed to mean? GEORGE I dont really know, but it sounded distinguished, like, didnt it? JOHN George Harrison, The Scouse of Distinction. We follow PAUL as he crosses over to the two girls. He places a bowler on his head. PAUL Excuse me, but these young men Im sitting with wondered if two of us could join you; Id ask you meself only Im shy. The two girls giggle together. JOHN and GEORGE are about to move over when GRANDFATHER suddenly appears by their sides. GRANDFATHER Im sorry, miss, but you mustnt fraternise with my prisoners. JEAN Prisoners!! GRANDFATHER Convicts in transit to Wormwood Scrubs. Typical old lags, the lot of em. THE BOYS Ywhat!!! GRANDFATHER Quiet, you lot, or Ill give you a touch of me truncheon. That little ones the worst. If we dont keep him on tablets he has fits. RINGO Now look here!! GRANDFATHER grabs two lumps of sugar from the table and forces them into RINGOS mouth. GRANDFATHER Get out while you can, ladies, his times coming round for one of his turns. The frightened girls scurry out of the restaurant car. The boys look in amazement and horror at GRANDFATHER. They are completely flabbergasted. GRANDFATHER smiles at them benignly. 8. INTERIOR OF RAILWAY COMPARTMENT SHAKE and NORM are seated. SHAKE is buried in a science fiction book. NORM looks at his watch, slightly worried. NORM Hes been gone a long time. SHAKE Who? NORM Pauls grandfather. SHAKE Oh, I didnt notice, whered he go? NORM Down the ... er ... SHAKE Oh, down the ... er ...? NORM Yeah, down the ... er ... SHAKE Well, give a couple of minutes ... He resumes reading. But NORM goes on worrying. 9. INTERIOR OF ANOTHER RAILWAY COMPARTMENT Grandfather is in full flight of conversation with a charming elderly lady, AUDREY, who is listening intently. GRANDFATHER Yes, Im their manager, I discovered them. LADY AUDREY Did you indeed, Mr. McCartney? GRANDFATHER Now, Audrey, I told you, the names John. We show biz people are a friendly lot. AUDREY Of course, John. GRANDFATHER Yes, they were playing the queues outside the picture palaces of Liverpool. Scruffy young lads, lacking even the price of a jam roll. Orphans, every Paddys son of em. I saw their potential at once although I had me doubts about the little fella, a savage primitive, that Ringo, but it was him what gave in first. He picked up a brick and heaved it at me and I quelled him wid one fierce flash of me eyes. Mister, can you spare us a copper? he said. I was disarmed by the grubby little outstretched mauler ... So, I took them under me managerial banner. AUDREY The usual ten per cent? GRANDFATHER Oh, not at all, I let them have twenty-five; sure arent there four of them? AUDREY How fascinating. Do go on ... ... John. GRANDFATHER ... Oh, Im all heart, Maam, all heart ... Well, I let ... 10. INTERIOR CORRIDOR OF TRAIN NORM and SHAKE meet with the BOYS as they are returning from coffee. NORM Eh, have you got Pauls grandfather? JOHN Of course, hes concealed about me person. NORM No ... hes must have slipped off somewhere. PAUL Have you lost him? NORM Dont exaggerate. PAUL Youve lost him. SHAKE Put it this way, hes mislaid him. PAUL You cant trust you with anything, Norm, if youve lost him, Ill cripple you. SHAKE He cant be far. JOHN I hope he fell off. PAUL Dont be callous. RINGO He doesnt like me, honest, I can tell ... Its cos Im little. GEORGE Youve got an inferiority complex, you have. RINGO Yeah, I know, thats why I took up the drums. Its me active compensatory factor. JOHN and PAUL run down the corridor. SHAKE and NORM turn from the door and go in the opposite direction, GEORGE and RINGO follow after the other two boys. 11. INTERIOR CORRIDOR OF TRAIN PAUL and JOHN look into various compartments. CLOSE SHOT of RINGO looking into compartments in the manner of Groucho Marx. In one of the compartments we see from RINGOS P.O.V. the occupant, a glamorous woman, TANIA, with a small lap dog. She is beautifully and most expensively dressed. She looks up and sees RINGO. RINGO smiles at her and she smiles back. She then beckons him to join her. He looks around to see if she means someone else. She nods a negative. RINGO looks back enquiringly then points at himself as if to say: Who, me? TANIA smiles enthusiastically. GEORGE has been watching all this. GEORGE Are you going in? RINGO No, shell only reject me in the end and Ill be frustrated. GEORGE You never know, you might be lucky this time. RINGO No, I know the psychological pattern and it plays hell with me drum skins. He blows the glamorous lady a kiss, then moves sadly on. 12. INTERIOR FURTHER DOWN THE CORRIDOR PAUL enters a compartment followed by JOHN. The TWO GIRLS, RITA and JEAN, from the restaurant car are sitting there. PAUL Excuse me but have you seen that little old man we were with? The girls jump up, surprised. JOHN Weve broken out, oh, the blessed freedom of it all! Eh, have you got a nail file, these handcuffs are killing me. I was framed. I was innocent. PAUL Will you stop it! Sorry to disturb you, miss... He starts to drag JOHN after him. JOHN I was innocent. I was framed. I wont go back. JOHN is now by the door; he leers at the girls horribly. JOHN I bet you can guess what I was in for. He cackles like a maniac before disappearing, the door closing after him. A waiter carrying a tray with champagne and glasses on it passes into one of the compartments with the blinds down. PAUL How about that one? He moves towards the compartment. PAUL Did you look in here? GEORGE No. I mean, its probably a honeymoon couple or a company director or something. PAUL Well, lets broaden our outlook. PAUL opens the door of the compartment. 13. INTERIOR OF COMPARTMENT From the BOYS P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER and the elderly lady, AUDREY, sipping champagne and nibbling caviar on toast. GRANDFATHER Congratulate me, boys, Im engaged. PAUL enters and crosses over to him. PAUL Oh no, youre not. Youve gone too far this time ... and whos paying for all this? GRANDFATHER Its all taken care of. Its down on our bill. PAUL Oh, well thats all right. What? AUDREY Young man, kindly moderate your tone when you address my fiance. PAUL Im sorry, Missus, but the betrothals off. Ill refuse me consent, hes over-age! AUDREY grabs GRANDFATHERs other arm and pulls back. AUDREY Leave him alone, after all hes done for you is this the way you repay him? A tug of war now starts between PAUL and AUDREY. PAUL Him? hes never done anything for anybody in his life. AUDREY You dare to say that when even those ridiculous clothes you are wearing were bought when you forced him to sell out his gilt edged Indomitables!! JOHN and GEORGE jump on the seat egging PAUL and AUDREY on. JOHN Come on, Auntie, youre winning. GEORGE Get in there, Paul, shes weakening. RINGO attempts to interfere. RINGO Look, Missus, this is all a misunderstanding, you see, hes ... AUDREY Keep away from me, you depraved lout, I know all about your terrible past. RINGO Ywhat? She hits RINGO with her handbag and continues struggling with PAUL for GRANDFATHER. RINGO grabs her handbag to stop her hitting him. RINGO Hes given me a bad character, blackguarding me name to all and sundry. Hes got to be stopped. Its not fair. RINGO pushes out into the corridor, forgetting that he is holding the womans handbag. A voice shouts off from outside. VOICE OFF Thats one of them ... stop thief! 14. INTERIOR CORRIDOR From Ringos P.O.V. we see down to the right the city man, JOHNSON, approaching with a GUARD. RINGO turns the other way to the left when he is joined by three other boys. From their P.O.V. down the corridor we see the two girls, autograph books in hand, followed by ten girls from the same school. Both groups are closing in on the BOYS. Theres no escape. RINGO Oh Mother!! 15. INTERIOR LUGGAGE VAN Very dark, and behind bars we see GRANDFATHER. He is sitting crouched up on a wooden box tea chest and looks pretty miserable. He turns towards the CAMERA; in the foreground of the SHOT we see PAUL standing. In the background an impassive GUARD is reading a paper which he does throughout the scene. GRANDFATHER And to think me own grandson would have let them put me behind bars! PAUL Dont dramatise. The CAMERA PULLS BACK and we see GRANDFATHER in the luggage compartment of the guards van. In with him are a crate of chickens and a dog. The chickens peck at him; GRANDFATHER moves listlessly away. PAUL Lets face it, youre lucky to be here. If theyd have had their way youd have been dropped off at Stafford already. GRANDFATHER proudly turns away from PAUL who dodges round so he can still see his face. PAUL Well, youve got to admit youve upset a lot of people. At least I can keep my eye on you while youre stuck in here. GRANDFATHER turns away again. PAUL All right, how about Ringo? I mean ... hes very upset, you know ... and as far as your girlfriend, little Audreys concerned, shes finished with men for the rest of her natural, and another thing ... GRANDFATHER A harmless bit of fun, aah, none of you have any sense of humour left these days. PAUL Oh, its all right for you but those two girls were scared to death! Honest, Grandad, why? I mean, why do you do these things? GRANDFATHER Youre left-handed, arent you, Paul? PAUL Yeah ... so what? GRANDFATHER Why do you always use your left hand? PAUL Well, dont be daft, Ive got to. GRANDFATHER And I take a left-handed view of life, Ive got to. PAUL grins. After a moment of looking at him, PAUL opens the door of the luggage compartment and joins GRANDFATHER on a box. PAUL Shove up! GRANDFATHER produces a penny. GRANDFATHER Odds or evens? PAUL sighs. PAUL Odds. GRANDFATHER flips the coin. The guards van door opens and JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO come in, with them are the girls, RITA and JEAN. JOHN Dont worry, son, well get you the best lawyer trading stamps can buy. PAUL Oh, its a laugh a line with Lennon. Anyroad up ... Its all your fault. RINGO Me? Why? GEORGE Bag-snatcher. GRANDFATHER Thats right; convict without trial ... Habeas corpus. JOHN Every morning. JOHN has been looking around the guards van. JOHN Gaw, its depressing in here, isnt it? Funny... cos they usually reckon dogs more than people in England, dont they? Youd expect something a little more palatial. Come on. Lets have a little action. Lets do something, then. PAUL Like what? JOHN Well, Ive got me gob stopper. Look, a genuine Stradivarius, hand tooled at Dagenham. And to RINGOs beat on a tea chest they are off, PAUL and GEORGE improvising other sounds, much to the GIRLS delight. During the number, GRANDFATHER quietly lets the latch off the chicken crate and chickens begin to wander through the scene. 16. EXTERIOR TRAIN IN MOTION FROM ABOVE While the number is progressing, the train is getting nearer and nearer to London. 17. EXTERIOR PLATFORM TERMINUS SHOTS of the station full of GIRLS waiting for the BOYS. 18. INTERIOR GUARDS VAN By the time the number finishes the train pulls up with a sharp halt that sends them all sprawling, BOYS and GIRLS. NORM enters the guards van. NORM Dont move, any of you. Theyve gone potty out there. The whole place is surging with girls. JOHN Please, can I have one to surge with? NORM No. JOHN Ah, go on, you swine. NORM No, you cant. Look, as soon as I tell you, run through this door here and into the big car thats waiting. He points and we see a big car parked across the road. The BOYS prepare to depart, lining up with GRANDFATHER at the door. 19. EXTERIOR PLATFORM TERMINUS Just as they are ready to go, a line of taxis draws up parallel to the train and now separates them from the big car waiting for them. NORM Oh no! GRANDFATHER pushes past the BOYS, holding his coat closed. GRANDFATHER All right, lads, follow me. And before NORM can stop him, he darts out of the door, PAUL after him. The fans further down the platform see PAUL and charge forward ... in a panic NORM and the others follow, JOHN just having time to kiss both the girls. JOHN Vive lamour! NORM drags him away. 20. EXTERIOR RAILWAY STATION The BOYS manage to follow GRANDFATHER by leaping onto a motorized luggage carrier, GEORGE driving and the other three posing as a frozen tableau on the back. GRANDFATHER has arrived at a taxi door. He flings it open and runs through, opening the other door, thus making a safe bridge to the car. The BOYS follow and manage to make it to the big car safely. They run towards grandfathers taxi. The FANS have followed the BOYS and we see streams of GIRLS piling through all the taxis one of which contains JOHNSON the city man, opening and shutting the doors to get through, much to the indignation of the TAXI DRIVERS. 21. INTERIOR BIG CAR NORM is sitting in front with the driver, FRANK. The four BOYS and GRANDFATHER are squashed together in the back. NORM Go like the clappers, son! FRANK That was my entire intention, sir. 22. EXTERIOR STATION The car moves off surrounded by the FANS; from a height we see them converge on the car but it moves forcefully out of the station and off. It moves into the traffic in the main road and the journey to the hotel begins. 23. INTERIOR HOTEL SUITE NIGHT There is a reception room and off it lead rooms that are presumably bedrooms, bathroom, etc. JOHN is lying sprawled out on a settee listening to a transistor radio, demolishing a basket of fruit. PAUL is sitting at an upright piano and GRANDFATHER is mooching about the room. One of the doors opens and GEORGE enters followed by RINGO, none of the BOYS are wearing coats. RINGO I dont snore. GEORGE You do - repeatedly. RINGO Do I snore? JOHN Youre a window rattler, son. RINGO Well, thats just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul? PAUL With a trombone hooter like yours itd be unnatural if you didnt. GRANDFATHER Dont mock the afflicted, Pauly. PAUL Oh for Petes sake, Its only a joke. GRANDFATHER Well, it may be a joke, but its his nose. He cant help having a horrible great nose, its the only one hes got. And his poor little heads trembling under the weight of it. NORM enters with three piles of fan mail and places them in front of JOHN on a table. RINGO is almost in tears, examining his nose in a mirror. NORM Paul, John, George - get at it. JOHN Hello the income tax have caught up with us at last. PAUL and GEORGE gather round the low table. RINGO is left out of it. RINGO None for me, then? NORM Sorry. John hands RINGO a single envelope. JOHN Thatll keep you busy. GRANDFATHER Its your nose, ysee. Fans are funny that way. Take a dislike to things. Theyll pick on a nose... RINGO You go and pick on your own. SHAKE enters with a stack of mail about three times larger than all the others put together. JOHN Is that yours? SHAKE For Ringo. He dumps it in Ringos arms who staggers into an armchair. The BOYS send him up. JOHN That must have cost you a fortune in stamps, Ringo. GEORGE He comes from a large family. RINGO Well. RINGO opens his letter and reads it. It contains a large embossed card. RINGO Eh, whats Boyds Club? The lads gather round him and PAUL takes the card from him and reads. PAUL The Management of Boyds takes pleasure in requesting the company of Mr Richard Starkey--thats you--in their recently refinished gaming rooms. Chemin de Fer. Baccarat, Roulette, and Champagne Buffet. Blimey! RINGO And they want me? JOHN Oh, its got round that youre a heavy punter. NORM Well youre not going. RINGO Ah. GRANDFATHER Quite right, invites to gambling dens full of easy money and fast women, chicken sandwiches and cornets of caviar, disgusting! He pockets the card himself. RINGO Thats mine. NORM Have done, and you lot get your pens out. BOYS Why? NORM Its homework time for all you college puddings. I want this lot all answered tonight. The BOYS all protest. NORM Ill brook no denial! JOHN Its all right for you, you couldnt get a pen in your foot, you swine. NORM Come on, Shake, well leave em to their penmanship. He goes followed by SHAKE. There is a pause and JOHN deliberately rises slowly and crosses to his coat. He puts it on and walks to the door. JOHN While the swines away the piglets can play. Well, come on, what are we waiting for? With a whoop PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO collect their coats and head for the door. GRANDFATHER What about all these letters? BOYS Read em! They disappear. After a moment GRANDFATHER takes out Ringos card. C.U. GRANDFATHER GRANDFATHER And a free champagne buffet. He grins to himself. At this moment a WAITER enters with a tray. He is clad in tails and GRANDFATHER eyes them longingly, measuring himself the while alongside the startled waiter. He leaves us with no doubt in our minds what he wants, i.e., the waiters suit. 24. INTERIOR DANCING CLUB NIGHT The club is the latest in modern decor and full of teenagers all enjoying themselves. The CAMERA wanders around the club till it finally picks out JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO all crowded around one small table. The music is blaring away from a juke box and the BOYS join the dancers. They are recognised and given smiles and nods of encouragement by all the other customers. During this scene we CUT AWAY 25. INTERIOR BOYDS CLUB NIGHT The whole atmosphere is of quiet elegance and loud wealth. Around the baccarat table the rich, bored customers sit barely moving a face muscle as they languidly murmur suivez and banco to the dealer as he operates the shoe. The manager of the club is beaming with satisfaction as he surveys his customers. One of these customers is clad in evening dress and he has his back to us. The rest of the players are in suits. By each of them is standing a lush lady with a bored sophisticated face that looks as if it has been painted on. From the REVERSE of the LAST SHOT we now see the solitary evening dress player is GRANDFATHER. He looks around him and wipes off his look of enjoyment and elaborately out-bores everyone in the room. DEALER Alors, Msieur? GRANDFATHER Souflée. He turns to the buxom BLONDE, who is dripping over him. GRANDFATHER I bet youre a great swimmer. My turn? Bingo! CROUPIER Pas Bingo, Msieur... Banco. GRANDFATHER Ill take the little darlings anyway. He takes up the cards and cant understand that they are unnumbered. GRANDFATHER Two and one is three, carry one is four. The buxom BLONDE leans over him. BLONDE Lay them down. GRANDFATHER Eh? BLONDE Lay them down. GRANDFATHER Wed be thrown out. BLONDE Your cards... lay them down... face up. He does so. CROUPIER Huit à la pointe... et sept. BLONDE You had a lovely little pair, ysee. GRANDFATHER I did? CROUPIER taps impatiently on box . BLONDE Theyre yours. GRANDFATHER They are? BLONDE The cards... youre bank. 26. INTERIOR DANCING CLUB The BOYS are having a rare old time and the place is really moving. 27. INTERIOR BOYDS CLUB GRANDFATHER is playing and a waiter is checking the requirements of the players. GRANDFATHER Bingo! CROUPIER Mlord dit Bingo. WAITER A little light refreshment. GRANDFATHER A glass of the old chablis to wash down a gesture of giblets wouldnt go amiss. Souflée, chop chop. The CROUPIER uses the spatula to pick up a card. GRANDFATHER grabs it and scoops some sandwiches off a passing tray. 28. INTERIOR DANCING CLUB The BOYS are at their table again laughing and enjoying themselves, when suddenly their faces freeze. From their P.O.V. we see NORM standing glowering down at them. With him is SHAKE. Reluctantly the BOYS arise and follow NORM out. 29. INTERIOR BOYDS GRANDFATHER is looking worried at the call of the card he loses and we see that all his chips have gone. He notices the waiter delivering snacks and champagne to a couple, so quick as a flash, he places a handkerchief over his arm and writing a bill out on a piece of paper, presents it to the couple and collects payment in chips. He then resumes playing. 30. INTERIOR HOTEL ROOM Waiter is sitting on chair in underclothes, reading. He hears a noise, says The manager! and hides in outer clothes closet. NORM and the BOYS enter saying: NORM Now get on with it. JOHN We were going to do it. NORM Aye, well, now! RINGO goes to hang up coat in closet. He does so, then crosses to rest. RINGO Any of you lot put a man in that cupboard? ALL A man? No. RINGO Well somebody did. GEORGE goes to cupboard. We see the WAITER from his P.O.V. He closes door, returns to group. GEORGE Hes right, yknow. BOYS Ah well, there you go. SHAKE enters front door, goes to hang up coat and drags WAITER out. SHAKE Eh, whats all this? PAUL Oh, him... Hes been lurking. JOHN Aye, he looks a right lurker. SHAKE Youre undressed. Where are your clothes? WAITER The old gentlemen borrowed them to go gambling at Boyds. PAUL No! RINGO Oh, hes gone to my club, has he? PAUL Yeah, Its all your fault, getting invites to gambling clubs. Hes probably in the middle of an orgy by now. JOHN Well, what are we waiting for? SHAKE Aye, come on, honest, that grandfather of yours is worse than any of you lot. 31. INTERIOR BOYDS GRANDFATHER is drinking champagne in locked arms with BLONDE. WAITER Encore de champagne, Monsieur? GRANDFATHER Yes, and Ill have some more champagne as well. He takes another swig of his glass. MANAGER Lord John McCartney, hes the millionaire Irish Peer, filthy rich of course. CUSTOMER Oh I dont know, looks rather clean to me. The MANAGER comes to grandfathers side. MANAGER Play is about to resume, mlord. GRANDFATHER Lead me to it, Ive a winning itch that only success can pacify. He takes his place at the table. The MANAGER watches for a moment then moves away from the table towards the club reception desk. 32. INTERIOR RECEPTION DESK BOYDS CLUB JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE, RINGO, NORM and SHAKE are trying to gain entrance. ATTENDANT Im sorry sir, members and invited guests only. PAUL, GEORGE, RINGO, JOHN Ive got to get in. Its urgent and important. Ive had an invite. Take me to your leader. NORM Shurrup. The BOYS do and meanwhile the MANAGER has walked into SHOT. He recognises the BOYS and welcomes them with false enthusiasm. They all start to enter the main room. NORM All we want to know is have you got a little old man in there? MANAGER Do you mean Lord McCartney? CLOSE-UP PAUL PAUL Hes at it again. Look, Im his grandfather... I mean... BLONDE Oh, it must be the dolly floor show. JOHN Stay where you are everybody this is a raid and we want him. GRANDFATHER Who are these ruffians?... Ive never seen them before in my life! ... They grab the protesting GRANDFATHER and drag him into the reception area. He keeps trying to return to BLONDE and table. GEORGE and RINGO each take an end of the velvet cord hanging between the two stanchions. They exchange ends and re-hook it, thus encircling GRANDFATHER by the entrance desk. They then go to settle up. MANAGER Before you go, gentlemen, theres the small matter of the bill. He snaps his fingers and a waiter hands him the bill. NORM Ill settle that. He glances at it. NORM A hundred and eighty pounds! MANAGER I beg your pardon, guineas. At that moment a WAITER appears with a tray full of pound notes. WAITER Your winnings, my lord, one hundred and ninety pounds. The MANAGER tears up the bill and takes the money. GRANDFATHER How about me change? MANAGER Cloak room charge. He hands GRANDFATHER his old mackintosh. RINGO Ah well, easy come, easy go. The others glower at him. RINGO Well. 33. INTERIOR BIG CAR The BOYS have settled down. JOHN Should I say it? GEORGE Follow your impulse. RINGO Itll only get you into trouble. JOHN Aah, shurrup, misery! JOHN slouches forward. JOHN O.K. Driver, follow that car!! The driver is an urbane young man in a handsome grey uniform. FRANK Would you like to be a little more precise, sir? JOHN Well, thats the wrong line for a start. FRANK Sorry? GEORGE Oh, dont pay any attention to him, he was just fulfilling a lifelong ambition. FRANK I see. JOHN Yeah, you know, O.K. Buster, follow that car, theres a sawbuck in it for you if you get real close! FRANK Oh, yes, now Im with you. But, gee, Mister, Ive got my license to think of ... were doing a hundred now ... The car is stopped in traffic behind a bus. JOHN gets out of car and walks to the front. JOHN leans in window delightedly, he flashes his wallet. JOHN Ever seen one of these before? FRANK Ah ... a shamus, eh? JOHN I see you go to the night court. FRANK Ive made the scene. JOHN Well, remember, its Leathery Magee up ahead in that convertible, so cover me in the stake-out. GEORGE I dont think that bits right. JOHN What do you expect from an ad lib ... Raymond Chandler? 34. EXTERIOR STREET As the big car overtakes a Company Directors Rolls. JOHN lowers his window and the boys let out an imaginary hail of bullets at the Executive in the back. He reacts violently and starts to shout at them. As he does so, he presses the button of his window, so that we hear only part of it. But what we do is unpleasant. He immediately presses the button and the window rises. RINGO and PAUL jump out of the car. RINGO takes two drumsticks from his coat pocket and, using them as banderillas, inserts them with style into the radiator grill . PAUL, then, using his coat as a matadors cloak, does a butterfly pass at the car which has just started up, narrowly missing him, but he keeps in the matador position. 35. INTERIOR CAR NORM Will you all stop it, youre like a gang of school kids. I knew this was going to happen one day. JOHN Well, you shouldnt have had bacon for your breakfast, you cannibal. FRANK Were nearly there, sir. JOHN Eh ... dont call him sir, hes got enough delusions of power as it is. CLOSE SHOT of a long suffering NORM. NORM And I was happy in the bakery. Ill never know why I left. 36. EXTERIOR OF AN OLD VICTORIAN MUSIC HALL THEATRE Which has been converted to the T.V. studios. There are a few groups of GIRL FANS standing outside the front of the theatre, but against the kerb of the pavement is a night-watchmans canvas hut and brazier. The car approaches. 37. INTERIOR OF THE CAR NORM Get ready John, open the door and as it draws up, out you go and straight in. JOHN nods and opens the door. The FANS start to swarm round them. To escape, the BOYS dash into the night-watchmans canvas hut, pick it up and run with it to the stage door, revealing the night watchman, staring in astonishment. At the door the BOYS put the hut down and enter the theatre. 38. INTERIOR STAGE DOOR ENTRANCE As the BOYS enter, two P.R.O. men in dark suits, stiff white collars and old school ties step forward and smile menacingly. FIRST P.R.O. MAN Press conference, theyre waiting for you. NORM Give us a couple of shakes to get our breath. FIRST P.R.O. MAN Theyre waiting now! And without more ado they grab an arm each and march the protesting NORM towards the stairs that lead to the dress circle. PAUL Eh this lot means it. Theyre even taking hostages. The BOYS, SHAKE and GRANDFATHER rush after the rapidly disappearing NORM, who by now is half way up the stairs. 39. INTERIOR OF DRESS CIRCLE LOUNGE BALLROOM It is empty except for two barmaids poised ready to serve, standing behind trestle tables full of drinks and sandwiches. The dark suited MEN enter with NORM and close behind them follow GRANDFATHER, SHAKE and the boys. The group arrives at the centre of the lounge and have time to look about and see the food but before they can get to it, from all directions NEWSPAPERMEN and PHOTOGRAPHERS converge upon them.. Now begins an elaborate tug-of-war between various PHOTOGRAPHERS using their flash attachments and REPORTERS to capture a Beatle and in the midst of this running battle a man with a portable recorder is trying to interview them. Together and singly the BOYS are pushed about the room and while this goes on a hard core of NEWSPAPERMEN are busily devouring sandwiches and pouring themselves drinks, to the annoyance of the BARMAIDS. Every time one of the BOYS attempts to get a sandwich or a drink, it is either too late, the plate is empty, or they are intercepted. The single and constant thing we see in the scene is the pushing and pulling, heavy impersonal handling, the boys are just things to be placed like still life in one advantageous position after another. During the scene these individual exchanges take place: SOUND REPORTER Whats your philosophy of life? JOHN Im torn between Zen and Im all right, Jack. REPORTER Has success changed your life? RINGO Yes. REPORTER Do you like playing the guitar? GEORGE Next to kissing girls its favourites. PAUL is surrounded by newspapermen. PAUL No, actually, were just good friends. HIGH SHOT of the press reception and we see the BOYS ease their way out until they get to the curtained entrance to the dress circle; completely unnoticed, they slip through. 40. INTERIOR THEATRE DRESS CIRCLE The BOYS come up the stairs into the Dress Circle proper. GRANDFATHER and SHAKE are sitting there having a picnic of beer and sandwiches. PAUL Anything to spare? GRANDFATHER Weve just finished, Pauly. Hey George, write us your John Henry on this picture. GEORGE Sure. . PAUL Ah well. Eh, look! He points, and from PAULS P.O.V. we see on stage, the setting up of the show, scenery and lights, cameras and sound equipment are being put into position by a small army of studio staff. DANCERS and SINGERS are milling about as well. PAUL Lets go and muck in. JOHN Aye, before anyone stops us. They exit to rows of the dress circle and go through the entrance down the narrow stairs to the stalls and on to the stage that is built and extended right into the stalls, which are partly covered up. 41. INTERIOR STAGE Everyone is so busy that they hardly notice the BOYS, who wander about and examine the studio equipment. A load of three drum sets are being brought on stage and a voice shouts out: VOICE Here, what about these electric guitars? SHAKE Where are they? VOICE Back here, mate. SHAKE Im coming. RINGO is busy setting up his drums, and men are setting up the other sets. He drops a stick and the FLOOR MANAGER retrieves it and is about to tap the drum. The FLOOR MANAGER is a languid young man. RINGO Leave them drums alone. FLOOR MANAGER Oh, surely one can have a tiny touch. RINGO If you so much as breathe heavy on them, Im out on strike. FLOOR MANAGER Arent you being rather arbitrary? RINGO Thats right retreat behind a smoke screen of bourgeois cliches. I dont go round messing about with your ear-phones, do I? FLOOR MANAGER Spoil sport! RINGO Well! RINGO fusses like a mother hen clucking over his drums. The FLOOR MANAGER is furious. GEORGE Hes very touchy about those his drums, they loom large in his legend. RINGO gives his drums a defiant crash and JOHN and PAUL stop whatever they are up to and hurry over. PAUL Whats up? GEORGE Hes sulking again. JOHN Ill show him. He picks up a set of drum sticks and bashes back at RINGO, who does a more complicated drum roll. GEORGE now joins in and to PAULS encouragement a drum duel starts completely naturally and improvised. During this encounter the work proceeds around them and the guitars are brought on and SHAKE sets them to working order. PAUL first, then JOHN and GEORGE take up their own instruments and out of the drum duel emerges one of their numbers. 42. INTERIOR RAMP As the number finishes a baldheaded man storms down the ramp that leads from the control box under the dress circle. DIRECTOR All right Im sorry and lets hear no more about it. If thats your opinion, youre probably right. Look, if you think Im unsuitable lets have it out in the open, I cant stand these back-stage politics. By the end of this speech he is standing in front of JOHN who takes the scene in his stride. JOHN Arent you tending to black and white this whole situation? DIRECTOR Well, quite honestly I wasnt expecting a musical arranger who would question my ability ... picture-wise. JOHN I could listen to him for hours. PAUL Heave to, whats all this about a musical arranger? DIRECTOR Mr. McCartney Senior! The BOYS have a giggle at the very idea and at this moment GRANDFATHER appears from behind the DIRECTOR. GRANDFATHER Hey Pauly, theyre trying to fob you off wid this musical charlatan but Ive given him the test. DIRECTOR Im quite happy to be replaced. GRANDFATHER Hes a typical buck-passer. DIRECTOR I won an award. JOHN A likely story. DIRECTOR Its on the wall in my office. At this moment NORM comes on the stage, confident, cigar in mouth and serene. NORM Hello our lot, everyone happy? The BOYS, the DIRECTOR, FLOOR MANAGER and GRANDFATHER turn on him and stare silently. NORM All right, all right. If you dont need this lot, Ill lock em up in the dressing room till you do. DIRECTOR Please do, Ill not need them for fifteen minutes. Thank you. He glares at GRANDFATHER who glares right back. The DIRECTOR walks away with the FLOOR MANAGER pacifying him. DIRECTOR Give me a bottle of milk and a packet of Oblivion. Oh, its a plot, I see it now, its all a plot. They go left towards the back-stage. NORM Now, come on, Ive got the key. He leads the lads off right. RINGO is last as he is putting his drum sticks down safely. NORM and the BOYS turn on him. NORM Lets have you. JOHN Come on speedy! PAUL Ringo! GEORGE Wake up! RINGO glares at them and follows quickly. As the BOYS move off after NORM, they pass the next act waiting for rehearsal. It is an elegant man in full-tail suit meticulously adjusting his cuff-links. Beside him is a free-standing sign reading Leslie Jackson and his ten disappearing doves. The BOYS pass him and go through the door. GRANDFATHER stops and looks at the performer with respect. GRANDFATHER I cant tell you how much Ive enjoyed your act. He slaps the man on the back with happy camaraderie. There is the sound of a dove, a few feathers fall out of the sleeve of the mans coat and he and GRANDFATHER look down at the floor. The man glares at GRANDFATHER, takes out a pen from his pocket, crosses out 10 on his sign, and writes 9 in its place, puts the pen back in his pocket and starts towards the centre stage putting on a false performers smile as he does. 43. INTERIOR THEATRE BACK-STAGE CORRIDOR The BOYS move down the narrow stairs, and out of the ground floor dressing rooms stream a steady flow of costumed actors and actresses. They engulf the lads and force them against the wall -- the actors are all making for the stage door. As the actors push past the boys we see the boys excited faces, their mouths watering for the costumes. JOHN touches the costume on one actor. JOHN Gear costume! ACTOR Swap? NORM Right, first floor and no messing about. NORM, leading the way, goes up the stairs but as they turn the first corner they are confronted by a group of girls, a game of manners starts, after you, No, after you. NORM who is ahead of the group looks down on them in disgust. NORM Lennon, leave them girls alone or Ill report you. The BOYS let the GIRLS pass and resume the journey, always surrounded by people. 44. INTERIOR DRESSING ROOM AND CORRIDOR RINGOS attention is caught by a door. He crosses and opens it, looking out to a fire escape. The others join him and the four boys step through the door and onto the fire escape. 45. EXTERIOR TOP OF FIRE ESCAPE From the BOYS P.O.V. we see down below into the property yard behind nthe theatre. It is a long narrow yard full of old coaches, motor cars and all the general debris of hundreds of sets from past theatre shows. Through the piles of heaped high junk there are a couple of narrow alleyways. The BOYS scamper down the fire escape. When they reach the bottom of the alleyways, there is a large door. They open it and look through. From their P.O.V. we see a large green field quite empty. The boys step through the doorway into the field. We now see from a HELICOPTER SHOT the four BOYS standing together surrounded by space. It is the first time they have been alone and unconfined all day. They look at each other and grin ... then first GEORGE and PAUL let out a whoop and run towards the centre of the field, after a moment JOHN and RINGO follow them. The BOYS pick up some loose straw and insert it under JOHNS cap and sleeves, turning him into a scarecrow. The four BOYS dash about madly calling out to one another and generally horsing around. Out of this emerges an imaginary game of soccer and although there is no ball the game is fast and furious. After a few moments the long shadow of a man falls across the grass. MANS VOICE I suppose you know this is private property. The boys freeze. From their P.O.V. we see a big burly middle-aged man glowering at them. The boys exchange rueful glances and, under the big mans eye, mooch back towards the gateway they came in by. JOHN is the last to go through. He turns to the man. JOHN Sorry if we hurt your field, Mister. 46. INTERIOR CORRIDOR BACK-STAGE GRANDFATHER is sneaking down the corridor, a pile of photos under his arm. 47. INTERIOR T.V. THEATRE UNDERNEATH THE STAGE Under the stage the usual set of wooden columns that support the stage with lots of furniture and a single light is on; it is placed by the orchestras entrance to the orchestra pit. GRANDFATHER comes down the stairs and winds his way through the columns until he finds himself a safe little cubby hole and settles himself under the light. He spreads the signed photos of the BOYS in front of him and, adjusting an old- fashioned pair of glasses, ball-point pen in hand begins to copy the BOYS signatures on to the fresh photos, tutting at his failures and chuckling at his successes. After a moment, there is a sound of someone coming down the stairs. GRANDFATHER darts into a dark patch out of sight. The menacing shadows appear on the stairway. NORM Theres no one here. SHAKE This is the only way they could have gone. We now see GRANDFATHER holding himself stiffly in, he is on some sort of raised platform and he fidgets and in doing so he knocks a lever of some sort. Slowly GRANDFATHER ascends out of shot with a light that grows bigger above him. 48. INTERIOR T.V. THEATRE STAGE A rehearsal of the toast scene from a Strauss Operetta. The entire stage is full of SINGERS, glasses in hand they are singing away at each other but in true opera tradition they are addressing out to the audience. Slowly in-between the leading man and leading woman, who are about to embrace, a stage trap opens and a blinking, surprised, GRANDFATHER appears. Here we INTERCUT to the T.V. Control Room for amazed reaction shots of the DIRECTOR and control room CREW. Back now on the stage the toast song reaches its climax and the leading man and woman rush into each others arms, GRANDFATHER sandwiched between them. 48A. INTERIOR CORRIDOR AS BOYS PASS THRU ON WAY TO DRESSING ROOM JOHN is behind them. JOHN, BOYS and MILLIE are walking towards each other. MILLIE Hello. JOHN Hello. MILLIE Oh, wait a minute, dont tell me youre ... JOHN No, not me. MILLIE Oh you are, I know you are. JOHN No, Im not. MILLIE You are. JOHN Im not, no. MILLIE Well, you look like him. JOHN Oh do I? Youre the first one who ever said that. MILLIE Oh you do, look. JOHN looks at himself in the mirror. JOHN examines himself in the mirror carefully. JOHN My eyes are lighter. MILLIE Oh yes. JOHN And my nose... MILLIE Well, yes your nose is. Very. JOHN Is it? MILLIE I would have said so. JOHN Aye, but you know him well. MILLIE No I dont, hes only a casual acquaintance. JOHN Thats what you tell me. MILLIE What have you heard? JOHN Its all over the place, everyone knows. MILLIE Is it? Is it really? JOHN Mind you, I stood up for you, I mean I wouldnt have it. MILLIE I knew I could rely on you. JOHN Thanks. MILLIE touches his arm then walks away. After a moment she turns. MILLIE You dont look like him at all. JOHN winks at her and she winks back. 49. INTERIOR DRESSING ROOM NORM and SHAKE enter the room. The BOYS TAILOR is there waiting for the BOYS. SHAKE Oh theyve probably gone to the canteen, cup of tea, like. NORM Thats too easy for Lennon. He crosses to door leading to fire escape. NORM Hes out there somewhere, causing trouble just to upset me. SHAKE Youre imagining it. Youre letting things prey on your mind. NORM Oh no... this is a battle of nerves between John and me. SHAKE But John hasnt got any. NORM What? SHAKE Nerves. NORM I know, thats the trouble. He puffs nervously at his cigarette. NORM Oh, Ive toyed with the idea of a ball and chain but hed only rattle them at me... and in public and all. Sometimes I think he enjoys seeing me suffer. He hears something. NORM Get behind that door, theyre coming. Someones coming. Quick, hide! The two men hide behind the door. The boys enter the room, as JOHN is last he shuts the door and faces SHAKE and NORM. JOHN What are you doing there? SHAKE Hiding. JOHN I think youre soft or something. NORM We werent hiding. TAILOR Now? NORM Now. We were trying to catch you redhanded. I thought I told you lot to stay here? RINGO Well ... NORM When I tell you to stay put, stay put. JOHN Dont cane me, sir, I was led astray. NORM Oh shurrup and come on John. Theyre waiting for you in the studio. RINGO Oh dear, I feel like doing a bit of work. NORM Good lad, Ringo. PAUL Oh, listen to teachers pet. GEORGE You crawler. JOHN Hes betrayed the class. RINGO Oh, leave off!!! JOHN Temper! Temper! RINGO Well ... CLOSE-UP on NORMs long suffering face. NORM Will you all get a move on! Theyre waiting for you! By this time the TAILOR has his tape stretched between his hands to measure GEORGEs shoulders. But since GEORGE has moved away, he is measuring space. JOHN takes up his scissors and cuts the tape. JOHN I now declare this bridge open. The BOYS run out the door. 50. INTERIOR BACKSTAGE AREA Five beautiful MODELS are standing about in costume. One is knitting a loose wool sweater which is almost completed. There is the sound of a juggling acts music off and a few of the girls are looking off towards the centre stage. At the edge of frame is a collapsible table covered with green baize. On it are three spaced white plates. From the door off stage, above which is a sign To Canteen and Production Offices, GRANDFATHER enters eating a plate of spaghetti on toast. The knitting GIRL sees him and, in mime, asks him to stand still so that she can measure the sweater against him. GRANDFATHER, eager to help, puts his plate of food on the green table between plates two and three. He goes to be measured with the sweater. From the onstage area, a jugglers ASSISTANT in costume backs up and with the usual theatrical flourishes picks up, without looking, plate number ONE and throws it off screen towards centre stage. There is a drum roll from orchestra. She then throws plate number TWO. We CUT on stage to the JUGGLER now balancing the two spinning plates on two poles, one in each hand. He has another pole in his mouth and nods to his ASSISTANT, asking for the THIRD plate. We CUT BACK to the ASSISTANT who, still not looking, throws plate THREE which is GRANDFATHERs. There is the sound of an orchestra raggedly stopping and all the hangers-on in the scene look off interestedly. We hear the DIRECTORs voice. DIRECTOR All right, hold it, hold it... O.K. John, wipe him down and well carry on with the next act. We CUT TO centre stage. The JUGGLER is as before but the spaghetti is covering his head, having slipped off the third plate. The FLOOR MANAGER is bustling around, trying to help. We CUT BACK to back-stage. GRANDFATHER has finished being measured and goes to the green table where he put his plate down. He picks up the only remaining plate, looks at it, wondering where his food has gone, shrugs and heads back towards the exit door as we hear the DIRECTORs VOICE. 51. INTERIOR T.V. STUDIO FLOOR CLOSE-UP on the distraught DIRECTOR. DIRECTOR Where are they? I said, where are they? Where are they? FLOOR MANAGER Theyre coming, I promise you. DIRECTOR Now look, if theyre not here on this floor in thirty seconds theres going to be trouble ... understand me ... trouble!!! Two STAGE HANDS are walking disinterestedly past, they look at the DIRECTOR. 1st STAGE HAND Whats he on about, Taff? WELSH STAGE HAND Well ... hes being the director. Of course, he lives in a world of his own, mind. At this moment the boys, NORM, SHAKE and GRANDFATHER appear. The BOYS grab their instruments and prepare to play. JOHN Standing about, eh? Some people have it dead easy, dont they? The director is about to blow his top but manages to hold on and mutter to the heavens. DIRECTOR Of course, once youre over thirty, youre finished. Its a young mans medium and I just cant take the pace. RINGO Are you as young as that, then? BOYS Shurrup! GRANDFATHER Isnt it always the way? Picking on us little fellas. PAUL Shove the gentleman jockey in the make-up room or something and keep your eye on him, will you? SHAKE Im an electrician, not a wet nurse, yknow. PAUL Ill set John on you! SHAKE Oh, anything you say, Paul. He leads GRANDFATHER away. The BOYS are placed in position, instruments ready. The boom moves in near them. There is a mike hovering just over JOHNS head. JOHN starts attacking it. DIRECTORS VOICE Run through the number and try not to jiggle out of your positions. The BOYS start the number, as the stage hands adjust their settings. When theyve finished, they stand about spare. 52. INTERIOR T.V. CONTROL ROOM The room is crowded with the usual personnel, P.A., elecs, racks, etc.... make-up supervisor and wardrobe mistress. DIRECTOR That was more or less all right for me. Ill give them one more run through then leave them alone until the dress ... Oh how about make-up? MAKE-UP WOMAN Not really, they dont need it any. Well just powder them off for shine. DIRECTOR Good. Norm, get them along to make-up will you? NORM Sure. DIRECTOR And hurry, theyre not looking too happy. From the directors P.O.V. we see into the monitor. The boys crowding around RINGO. We cut through the monitor into the same position in the studio. 53. INTERIOR T.V. STUDIO FLOOR PAUL Whats the matter with you? You were bashing away like a madman. RINGO You were twanging too loud. JOHN Howd you like a dirty great drum roll giving you a clout right in the middle of your solo? GEORGE Youre getting out of hand. I dont know whats come over you today. RINGO Thats right. Its always me, isnt it? JOHN Since you ask, yes. Aah, come on, Ring, we love you. He puts his arm around Ringos shoulder. RINGO Well! JOHN Hell get over it. NORM appears down the ramp speaking as he approaches. NORM All right, our lot, make-up. 54. INTERIOR MAKE UP ROOM A smallish room with a line of chairs facing a wall mirror and a long table. Each place is clearly marked and above each mirror a girls name: Betty, Angela, Deirdre, Jenny. SHAKE and GRANDFATHER are sitting in splendid isolation. They are staring each other out. SHAKE You blinked! GRANDFATHER I never did, you did. The BOYS enter. SHAKE Hello, hes not talking to me. Hes having a sulk. GEORGE Well, it must be catching. Hes given it to the champ here. He indicates RINGO who ignores him. NORM Stop picking on him. RINGO I dont need you to defend me, yknow, Norm. JOHN Leave him alone, hes got swine fever. NORM Sit down, the lot of you. At this moment several actors come into the room. They are all dressed in the uniform of officers in Wellingtons army. Together with the boys they sit down, Beatles and soldiers all mixed up. Now a group of several pretty make-up girls make an entrance and the boys herald their arrival with a chorus of aye ayes and wolf whistles. JOHN meanwhile has helped himself to a big beard and the other lads are generally messing about with assorted make-up things. HEAD MAKE UP GIRL Oh, this is impossible! Well never get you all done in time. ACTOR Well, youll just have to do us first... It makes no difference to them whether theyre made up or not. And whos me, then? JOHN My names Betty... Do you want a punch up your frogged tunic? NORM fights his way to JOHN. NORM Now listen, John, behave yourself or Ill murder you and, Shake, take that wig off, it suits you. SHAKE has a long blond girls wig on. With the assistance of the girls, NORM gets the boys seated into the chairs nearest the door. For some reason RINGO now has a Guardsmans busby wedged down almost over his eyes and is sitting with it under a hair drier, reading a copy of Queen Magazine. NORM What do you think are youre up to? RINGO Someone put it on me. JOHN Excuses, thats all we get and you know you fancy yourself in the Coldstreams. The GIRLS now move in and put make up bibs on the BOYS and start to powder them off. JOHN You wont interfere with the basic rugged concept of my personality, will you, girl? PAUL Eh, dont take out me lines. GEORGE Yeah, they give him that Je ne sais quoi rakish air. The lads laugh with pleasure. RINGO decides to try a little joke. RINGO (indicating the busby he is still wearing) Short back and sides, please. The other look at him with mock disgust. PAUL Behave... JOHN Foreign devil ... GEORGE Control yourself... GRANDFATHER has been watching the powdering process. GRANDFATHER In my considered opinion youre a bunch of sissies. JOHN grabs a powder puff from his girl. JOHN You know youre only jealous! And dabs the old man liberally with the powder much to GRANDFATHERs annoyance. NORM Leave him alone, Lennon, or Ill tell them all the truth about you. JOHN You wouldnt! NORM I would though. NORM goes out. PAUL Whats he know? JOHN Nothing, hes trying to brainwash me and give me personality doubts ... oh, hes a swine but a clever swine, mind. GRANDFATHER Lookit, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery and so far Ive seen a train and a room, a car and a room and a room and a room. Well, thats maybe all right for a bunch of powdered gee-gaws like you lot but Im feeling decidedly strait-jacketed. This is no life for a free-booting agent of my stamp. Im a frustrated man and that class of McCartney is a dangerous McCartney. GIRL What a clean old man. GRANDFATHER Youre too young for a fella of my cosmopolitan tastes, so dont press your luck. JOHN Hes sex-obsessed, the older generation are leading this country to galloping ruin. NORM returns leaving the door open, the boys hear the sound of music coming from the studio. NORM Theyre nearly ready for you. Theyre just finishing the band call. JOHN Gear! Come on, girls, lets have a bit of a dance. JOHNS GIRL I dont think its allowed. JOHN Well ... it wouldnt be any fun if it was! The BOYS drag the make-up GIRLS out of the room and into the studio. The GIRLS are still trying to finish making the BOYS up. As the BOYS and MAKE-UP GIRLS dance past, we see one of the Strauss singers combing his long hair straight back. Two STAGE HANDS swing a wind machine past him and his hair is blown straight forward into a Beatle cut. JOHN Never. During dance, GEORGE takes off wig and places it on dummy, revealing identical hair underneath. 55. INTERIOR T.V. STUDIO FLOOR The work is still going on and the music is up full blast, the BOYS enter and with the GIRLS they start a wild dance, hippy, shake, zulu, blue beat, the lot. LIONEL and DANCERS are doing their routine on one side of the stage ... it becomes a challenge dance between both groups. JOHN swings his GIRL onto the motorized CAMERA, Western style, and starts to track through the GROUP. GEORGE is on another CAMERA. 56. INTERIOR CONTROL ROOM The whole control room crew are watching the dance on all the monitors. The DIRECTOR is about to stop the boys but his GIRL P.A. glares at him, with a shrug he lets the dance go on. We now cut between the dancers on the monitors and the boys actual dancing down on the studio floor. When the recorded music stops, they grab their instruments and go into a number. So we can watch every aspect of their work and with so many monitors it gives the impression that there are many more boys than just four. When the number finally ends we are back in the studio on the floor. 57. INTERIOR T.V. STUDIO FLOOR DIRECTORS VOICE OVER TANNOY Thank you gentlemen, you can break now while we push on with the show. The boys acknowledge this with a quaver of guitar chords and a drum roll. NORM is on them at once. NORM That was great, youve got about an hour but dont leave the theatre. JOHN grabs the arm of a sexy girl dancer. JOHN Shes going to show me her stamp collection. PAUL Sos mine. NORM John, Im talking to you. This final run through is important. Understand? Important. JOHN Oink! Oink! They dash off with the two beauties. GRANDFATHER is hovering in the background with SHAKE. GRANDFATHER I want me cup of tea. NORM Shake. SHAKE Im adjusting the decibels on the inbalance. NORM Clever. George. But GEORGE is disappearing out of the door. NORM turns to RINGO. NORM Look after him. RINGO But... NORM Do I have to raise me voice? RINGO Oh, all right. Come here, Grandad. And the two of them walk off, Ringo leading. 57A. INTERIOR BACKSTAGE A man, whose act is playing tunes by hitting himself on the head, is swallowing a handful of aspirin tablets. He starts rehearsing his act, which consists of throwing his head back and slapping his cheeks. Next to him, a JUGGLER is practising with four table tennis balls. GRANDFATHER passes him and bumps his arm slightly. Only 3 balls come down. There is the sound of coughing off. We CUT TO THE HEAD-PLAYER being patted on the back. The ball drops out of his mouth and bounces slowly on the studio floor. 58. INTERIOR T.V. STUDIO CANTEEN The canteen is about half full of actors many of which are dressed as Nazi soldiers, with mock blood bandages and arm bands. Also there are a sprinkling of T.V. people. At a table sits GRANDFATHER and RINGO. RINGO is deeply engrossed in a book and GRANDFATHER has a near empty cup of tea in front of him. The old man is bored and looks about him slyly. He then looks at Ringo who is innocently occupied, a malicious gleam comes into GRANDFATHERs eye. He decides to have a go at RINGO and sits staring at him. RINGO gradually becomes aware of the stare and shifts uncomfortably then tries to continue reading his book. GRANDFATHER Will you ever look at him, sitting there wid his hooter scraping away at that book! RINGO Well ... whats the matter with that? GRANDFATHER Have you no natural resources of your own? Have they even robbed you of that? RINGO You can learn from books. GRANDFATHER Can you now? Aah ... sheeps heads! You learn more by getting out there and living. RINGO Out where? GRANDFATHER Any old where ... but not our little Richard ... oh no! When youre not thumping them pagan skins, youre tormenting your eyes wid that rubbish! RINGO Books are good! GRANDFATHER Paradings better! RINGO Parading? GRANDFATHER Thats it, parading the streets ... trailing your coat ... bowling along ... living! RINGO Well, I am living, arent I? GRANDFATHER Youre living, are you? When was the last time you gave a girl a pink-edged daisy? When did you last embarrass a sheila wid your cool appraising stare? RINGO Eh ... youre a bit old for that sort of chat, arent you? GRANDFATHER At least Ive a backlog of memories, but all youve got is that book! RINGO Aaah ... stop picking on me... youre as bad as the rest of them. GRANDFATHER So you are a man after all. RINGO Whats that mean? GRANDFATHER Do you think I havent noticed ... do you think I wasnt aware of the drift? Oh ... you poor unfortunate scuff, theyve driven you into books by their cruel, unnatural treatment, exploiting your good nature. RINGO Oh ... I dunno. GRANDFATHER And that lots never happier than when theyre jeering at you ... and where would they be without the steady support of your drum beat, Id like to know. RINGO Yeah ... thats right. GRANDFATHER And whats it all come to in the end? RINGO Yeah ... whats in it for me? GRANDFATHER A book! RINGO Yeah ... a bloomin book! He throws the book down. GRANDFATHER When you could be out there betraying a rich American widow or sipping palm wine in Tahiti before youre too old like me. A fine neat and trim lad the class of you should be helping himself to lifes goodies before the sands run out. Being an old age pensioners a terrible drag on a man and every second you waste is bringing you nearer the Friday queue at the Post Office. RINGO Yeah ... funny really, cos Id never thought of it but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesnt it? GRANDFATHER Youre only right. RINGO Im not wrong. There is a pause, then RINGO rises and crosses to the door. GRANDFATHER Where are you off to? RINGO Im going parading before its too late! RINGO leaves and GRANDFATHER laughs at what he has done, then realizes its full meaning and looks worried. 59. INTERIOR CORRIDOR and STAIRWAY RINGO comes along the corridor then down the narrow stairs. Half-way down he comes face to face with GEORGE who is coming up the stairs. GEORGE Eh, Ringo, do you know what happened to me? RINGO No. I dont. As he goes round the corner RINGO turns on the surprised GEORGE. RINGO You want to stop being so scornful, its twisting your face. 60. INTERIOR T.V. THEATRE NEAR STAGE DOORMANS OFFICE JOHN and PAUL are chatting up a couple of girls, when they see RINGO approaching they break off the conversation. JOHN Here he is, the middle-aged boy wonder. RINGO looks at JOHN hard. PAUL Eh. I thought you were looking after the old man. RINGO Get knotted! PAUL and JOHN gape at him. For good measure Ringo takes a quick photograph of them before he leaves them flabbergasted and walks off into the street. PAUL Weve got only half an hour till the final run-through. He cant walk out on us. JOHN Cant he? Hes done it, son! GEORGE runs towards them. GEORGE Eh, I dont know if you realise it, but ... PAUL We do. GEORGE Yes. Your grandfathers stirred him up. PAUL He hasnt. GEORGE Yes, hes filled his head with notions seemingly. PAUL The old mixer, come on well have to put him right. The three of them go into the street. 61. EXTERIOR T.V. THEATRE STAGE DOOR ENTRANCE The boys look up and down but RINGO has completely disappeared. PAUL Well split up and search for him, he cant be far. They now all start to go off in the same direction, they pause, there are three roads they can take but each time they begin to move they all go the same way. JOHN Its happened at last, weve become a limited company. GEORGE Ill look in here again. PAUL gives him a push to the left and GEORGE to the right and going straight ahead himself they part and go their separate ways. 62. EXTERIOR STREET RINGO is walking along taking photographs with his camera when some girls recognise him and start to follow him. They quicken their pace and RINGO runs ahead of them. He turns and comes into another street. He sees a second-hand clothes shop with a sign saying We Buy Anything and enters the shop just before the pursuing girls come round the corner. The girls stand about looking in all directions. After a moment RINGO comes out of the shop. He is wearing a long mackintosh and a natty cap pulled well down. He is ignored by the girls who dont recognise him. Realising this he goes back and ogles one of them. She glares at him. RINGO Hello. GIRL Get out of it, short house! CLOSE-UP on Ringos secret but happy smile as he walks briskly down the road. 63. EXTERIOR TOW PATH CANAL RINGO kicks at a brick. He kicks stylishly but misses so tries again, misses again, but finally kicks the stone which doesnt budge so he bends down and pulls it out of the ground. It is quite big. Three quarters of it being below the surface. Having got it he now decides to throw it away. As he does so the same POLICEMAN rides past on a bicycle. POLICEMAN Aint you got no more bleeding sense than to go round chucking bricks about. Before RINGO has time to answer the man has disappeared. RINGO Southerner! He looks at the canal water moodily; at this moment a large lorry tyre rolls down the incline and bashes him slap in the back, sprawling him on the path, the tyre on top of him. A small boy appears after the tyre and stands over the prostrate RINGO. BOY Here, mate, thats my hoop, stop playing with it. RINGO Hoop, this isnt a hoop, its a lethal weapon. Have you got a licence for it? BOY Oh dont be so stroppy! RINGO Well! A boy of your age bowling hoop at people. How old are you anyway? BOY Nine. RINGO Bet youre only eight and a half. BOY Eight and two thirds. RINGO Well, there you are and watch it with that hoop. BOY Gerron out of it, youre only jealous cause youre old. RINGO Shurrup! BOY I bet youre -- sixteen! RINGO Fifteen and two thirds, actually. BOY Well -- RINGO All right, take your hoop and bowl. He moves off and the BOY follows. BOY Oh you can have it, Im packing it in -- it depresses me. RINGO Ywhat? BOY You heard, it gets on my wick. RINGO Well thats lovely talk, that is. And another thing, why arent you at school? BOY Im a deserter. RINGO Are you now? BOY Yeah, Ive blown school out. RINGO Just you? BOY No, Ginger, Eddy Fallon and Ding Dong. RINGO Ding Dong? Oh Ding Dong Bell, eh? BOY Yeah, thats right, they was supposed to come with us but they chickened. RINGO Yeah? And theyre your mates are they? BOY Yeah. RINGO Not much cop without em, is it? BOY Oh, its all right. RINGO Yeah? BOY Yeah. RINGO What they like? BOY is glad to have something to talk about. BOY Gingers mad, he says things all the time and Eddys good at punching and spitting. RINGO How about Ding Dong? BOY Hes a big head and he fancies himself with it but you know its all right cos hes one of the gang. RINGO nods his head understandingly and they mooch on together. BOY Why arent you at work? RINGO Im a deserter, too. BOY Oh. At this moment a childs voice shouts out Charley and from RINGOS P.O.V. we see three kids. RINGO turns to the BOY and looks at them enquiringly. BOY See you. The BOY runs off to join his mates. As he joins them they punch and scuffle together. They are obviously a gang. RINGO is left alone. 64. INTERIOR CORRIDOR T.V. THEATRE GEORGE comes round the corner, looking for RINGO, then grins and walks past a sign saying Canteen and Production Office Opposite. He comes to the exit door, crosses to a modern building across from the theatre. He enters building. 65. INTERIOR OFFICE It is the reception room that leads to an inner office. Behind a desk sits a smart young woman typing busily as GEORGE enters. He is surprised when he sees the girl; she looks up and speaks to him at once. SECRETARY Oh, there you are! GEORGE Oh, Im sorry, I must have made a mistake. SECRETARY You havent, youre just late. Oh, yes, hes going to be very pleased with you. GEORGE Is he? SECRETARY Yes, youre quite a feather in the cap. Hello, Ive got one ... oh, I think so ... yes, he can talk ... Well ... I think you ought to see him. Of course, right away. She crosses to the inter-office door. On the door is written SIMON MARSHAL ... she opens it. SECRETARY Well ... come on. GEORGE Sorry. He follows her quickly in. 66. INTERIOR THE INNER OFFICE A large room, part production office with models and sets, drawing board with ground plans, the other part of the room a mixture of Pop and Queens magazine decor. Behind a large desk sits SIMON MARSHAL, a bland but slightly irritable young man of about thirty-five. He is wearing the ultimate in the current smart set fashion. He is attended by a couple of underlings ADRIAN and TONY and behind him on the wall is a poster of a girl. Across the poster is printed, Way Out, your own T.V. Special with Susan Campey. Director, Simon Marshal. SECRETARY Will this do, Simon? SIMON Not bad, dolly, not really bad. Turn around, chicky baby. GEORGE does so. SIMON Oh yes, a definite poss. Hell look good alongside Susan. All right, Sunny Jim, this is all going to be quite painless. Dont breathe on me, Adrian. ADRIAN has recognised GEORGE and is trying to stop SIMON. GEORGE Look, Im terribly sorry but Im afraid theres been some sort of a misunderstanding. SIMON Oh, you can come off it with us. You dont have to do the old adenoidal glottal stop and carry on for our benefit. GEORGE Im afraid I dont understand. SIMON Oh, my God, hes a natural. SECRETARY Well, I did tell them not to send us any more real ones. SIMON They ought to know by now the phonies are much easier to handle. Still hes a good type. He now speaks to GEORGE in the loud voice that the English reserve for foreigners and village idiots. SIMON We want you to give us your opinion on some clothes for teenagers. GEORGE Oh, by all means, Id be quite prepared for that eventuality. SIMON Well, not your real opinion, naturally. Itll be written out and youll learn it. Can he read? GEORGE Of course I can. SIMON I mean lines, ducky, can you handle lines? GEORGE Ill have a bash. SIMON Good. Hart, get him whatever it is they drink, a cokearama? GEORGE Ta. SIMON Well, at least hes polite. Tony Show him the shirts, Adrian. A collection of shirts are produced and GEORGE looks at them. While he is doing this SIMON briefs him. SIMON Now, youll like these. You really dig them. Theyre fab and all the other pimply hyperboles. GEORGE I wouldnt be seen dead in them. Theyre dead grotty. SIMON Grotty? GEORGE Yeah, grotesque. SIMON Make a note of that word and give it to Susan. I think its rather touching really. Heres this kid trying to give me his utterly valueless opinion when I know for a fact within four weeks hell be suffering from a violent inferiority complex and loss of status if he isnt wearing one of these nasty things. Of course theyre grotty, you wretched nit, thats why they were designed, but thats what youll want. GEORGE But I wont. SIMON You can be replaced you know, chicky baby. GEORGE I dont care. SIMON And that pose is out too, Sunny Jim. The new thing is to care passionately, and be right wing. Anyway, you wont meet Susan if you dont cooperate. GEORGE And whos this Susan when shes at home? SIMON Only Susan Campey, our resident teenager. Youll have to love her. Shes your symbol. GEORGE Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong? SIMON I beg your pardon? GEORGE Oh, yes, the lads frequently gather round the T.V. set to watch her for a giggle. Once we even all sat down and wrote these letters saying how gear she was and all that rubbish. SIMON Shes a trend setter. Its her profession! GEORGE Shes a drag. A well-known drag. We turn the sound down on her and say rude things. SIMON Get him out of here!! GEORGE Have I said something amiss? SIMON Get him out of here. Hes knocking the programmes image!! The underlings hustle GEORGE to the door. GEORGE Sorry about the shirts. He is ejected through the door. SIMON Get him out. You dont think hes a new phenomenon, do you? SECRETARY You mean an early clue to the new direction? SIMON Wheres the calendar? No, hes just a trouble maker. The change isnt due for three weeks. All the same, make a note not to extend Susans contract. Lets not take any unnecessary chances! 67. EXTERIOR STREET PUB ON THE CORNER The sign on the pub is Liverpool Arms. RINGO is standing looking up at it. He decides to go in and does so. 68. INTERIOR T.V. CONTROL ROOM The atmosphere is tense. GRANDFATHER is standing miserable in front of the DIRECTOR, the criminal confronted by the judge. SHAKE and NORM are flanking him grimly. GRANDFATHER Im sorry lads, I didnt mean it, honest. DIRECTOR If he says that again, Ill strike him. SHAKE Theyll be back, theyre good lads, theyll be back. DIRECTOR Yes? Well theyve got only ten minutes to the final run-through. GRANDFATHER I meant no harm. I was only trying to encourage little Ringo to enjoy himself. NORM God knows what youve unleashed on the unsuspecting South. Itll be wine, women and song all the way with Ringo once hes got the taste for it. 69. INT. PUB PUBLIC BAR CLOSE-UP on RINGO. He is eating a bone dry sandwich that curls up at the end. He puts it down with disgust. He has a lager glass in his hand. BARMAID That was fresh this morning. We now see the pub is full of enormous cockney workmen downing pints. RINGO is very much alone. He moves away from the bar towards a group that is standing together, theyve an average height of over six-foot. There is a group at a dart board. Another group is playing bar skittles and a third group is around a pin-ball table. Near the bar is a shove-halfpenny board with two players. There is a caged parrot nearby. BARMAID Thatll be two and nine... RINGO fumbles some change out of his pocket. A few coppers fall from his hand on to the shove-halfpenny board just as the crucial point has been made. The men glare at him. Embarrassed, he moves away and without looking, places his glass on the skittles table just as a player swings the string, which hits Ringos glass. More embarrassed, RINGO backs away, unfortunately into the pin-table just as a winning score is about to be reached. He bumps it very slightly, but enough to cause it to TILT. He then moves to the dart board. By this time most of the pub is staring at him. With great style he takes the darts. The first throw goes into a cheese sandwich which a man is pointing in demonstration. The second we see arrive into a pint of bitter and then we see RINGO shoot the third dart and hear the sound of the parrot shouting angrily, off. The BARMAID has had enough. BARMAID Right ... On your way! RINGO Ywhat? BARMAID You heard, on your way, troublemaker! Now the centre of attention, RINGO backs out of the pub, followed by every eye in the place, the BARMAID and a few players following him to the door ... 70. EXTERIOR STREET OUTSIDE PUB RINGO comes out and crosses road, watched by the POLICEMAN who is now quite suspicious. 71. EXTERIOR STREET PAUL comes down the street looking about him for RINGO. In the street is an old building, the sort of place that is highly favoured for TV rehearsals. There is a sign on the door, TV Rehearsal Room. As PAUL draws near, a load of actors and extras, etc. are leaving, they are in costume, they are the ones who earlier had been going to a word rehearsal. When PAUL gets near the entrance he decides to go inside. 72. INTERIOR HALL PAUL enters and wanders about. He reaches a door, pushes it open and looks in. He sees a GIRL clad in period costume. She is moving around the room and obviously acting. PAUL watches her for a moment and then decides to go in. 73. INTERIOR REHEARSAL ROOM PAUL goes into the room. The GIRL is in mid-flight. She is very young and lovely and completely engrossed in what she is doing. The room is absolutely empty except for PAUL and herself. She is acting in the manner of an eighteenth-century coquette, or, to be precise, the voice English actresses use when they think they are being true to the costume period ... her youth however makes it all very charming. GIRL If I believed you, sir, I might do those things and walk those ways only to find myself on Problems Path. But I cannot believe you, and all those urgings serve only as a proof that you will lie and lie again to gain your purpose with me. She dances lightly away from an imaginary lover and as she turns she sees PAUL who is as engrossed in the scene as she was. GIRL Oh! PAUL Well ... go head, do the next bit. GIRL Go away! Youve spoilt it. PAUL Oh, sorry I spoke. He makes no attempt to go. He simply continues to look steadily at the girl; then he smiles at her. She is undecided what to do next. GIRL Are you supposed to be here? PAUL Ive got you worried, havent I? GIRL Im warning you, theyll be back in a minute. PAUL Dyou know something, They dont worry me at all. Anyroad, I only fancy listening to you ... thats all but if it worries you ... well ... GIRL Youre from Liverpool, arent you? PAUL Howd you guess? GIRL Oh, its the way you talk. PAUL Is it ... is it, really? GIRL Are you pulling my leg? PAUL Something like that. GIRL I see. Do you like the play? PAUL Yeah ... I mean, sure, well, I took it at school but I only ever heard boys and masters saying those lines, like, sounds different on a girl. Yeah, its gear on a girl. GIRL Gear? PAUL Aye, the big hammer, smashing! GIRL Thank you. PAUL Dont mench ... well, why dont you give us a few more lines, like? GIRL pouts. PAUL You dont half slam the door in peoples faces, do you? I mean, what about when youre playing the part, like, hundreds of peoplell see you and ... GIRL Im not ... PAUL Oh, youre the understudy, sort of thing? GIRL No. Im a walk-on in a fancy dress scene. I just felt like doing those lines. PAUL Oh, I see. You are an actress though, arent you? GIRL Yes. PAUL Aye, I knew you were. GIRL Whats that mean? PAUL Well, the way you were spouting, like .... I dont believe you, sir... and all that. Yeah, it was gear. GIRL The big hammer? PAUL Oh aye, a sledge. GIRL But the way you did it then sounded so phony. PAUL No ... I wouldnt say that ... just like an actress ... you know. He moves and stands about like an actress. GIRL But thats not like a real person at all. PAUL Aye well, actresses arent like real people, are they? GIRL They ought to be. PAUL Oh, I dont know, anyroad up, they never are, are they? GIRL What are you? PAUL Im in a group ... well ... there are four of us, we play and sing. GIRL I bet you dont sound like real people. PAUL We do, you know. We sound like us having a ball. Its fab. GIRL Is it really fab or are you just saying that to convince yourself? PAUL What of? Look, I wouldnt do it unless I was. Im dead lucky cos I get paid for doing something I love doing. He laughs and with a gesture takes in the whole studio PAUL ... all this and a jam butty too!! GIRL I only enjoy acting for myself. I hate it when other people are let in. PAUL Why? I mean, which are you, scared or selfish? GIRL Why selfish? PAUL Well, youve got to have people to taste your treacle toffee. She looks at him in surprise. PAUL No, hang on, Ive not gone daft. You see, when I was little me mother let me make some treacle toffee one time in our back scullery. When Id done she said to me, Go and give some to the other kids. So, I said I would but I thought to meself, She must think Im soft. Anyroad, I was eating away there but I wanted somebody else to know how good it was so in the end I wound up giving it all away ... but I didnt nmind, mind, cos Id made the stuff in the first place. Well ... thats why you need other people... an audience ... to taste your treacle toffee, like. Eh ... does that sound as thickheaded to you as it does to me? GIRL Not really but Im probably not a toffee maker. How would you do those lines of mine? PAUL Well, look at it this way, I mean, when you come right down to it, that girl, shes a bit of a scrubber, isnt she? GIRL Is she? PAUL Of course ... Look, if she was a Liverpool scrubber ... Eh, fella, you want to try pulling the other one, its got a full set of bells hanging off it ... Ywhat? ... I know your sort, two cokes and a packet of cheese and onion crisps and suddenly its love and were stopping in an empty shop doorway. Youre just after me body and ycant have it ... so there!! GIRL And you honestly think thats what she meant? PAUL Oh, definitely, it sticks out a mile, shes trying to get him to marry her but he doesnt want ... well ... I dont reckon any fellas ever wanted to get married. But girls are like that, clever and cunning. Youve got to laugh. He laughs. GIRL Well, its nice to know you think were clever. PAUL And cunning. GIRL And what do you do about it? PAUL Me? Oh, I dont have the time, Im always running about with the lads ... no, we dont have the time. GIRL Pity. PAUL Aye, it is but as long as you get by, its all right, you know ... bash on, happy valleys when they let you stop. Anyroad, Id better get back. GIRL Yes. PAUL See you. GIRL Of course. PAUL stands at the doorway, shrugs then goes out. 74. EXTERIOR STREET In the street, workmen are collecting shovels, drinking tea and doing all the things people do around building sites. RINGO mooches around. In the road is a hole with a diameter of about 3 feet, and at least 6 feet deep. RINGO looks down and a man is busily working at the bottom of the hole. He glares at RINGO. After a moment RINGO turns away. We now see a very elegant young lady coming towards RINGO. She is daintily avoiding a series of puddles. RINGO has an idea and does a Sir Walter Raleigh with his large Mac spreading it over one of the puddles. The girl walks across it smiling graciously. RINGO proceeds with the coat to the next puddle and to the next backing gradually towards the hole. At last he spreads the coat, without noticing what he is doing, over the hole. The girl steps onto the coat and disappears sharply. RINGO looks down the hole where the girl is held in the workmans arms. The workman rises out of the manhole until he is waist height. At this point an elegantly dressed gentleman appears he looks at his wife in the workmans arms and hits the workman. RINGO backs away through the puddles, and is nicked by the POLICEMAN. 77. INTERIOR T.V. THEATRE NEAR STAGE DOOR The DIRECTOR is pacing up and down the corridor. NORM is also walking up and down, SHAKE is leaning against the wall quite unconcerned. NORM gives SHAKE a push. NORM Worry, will you! SHAKE adjusts his features to a worrying expression. DIRECTOR Well, thats it, two minutes to the final run-through... theyre bound to miss it... NORM Ill murder that Lennon. DIRECTOR But I suppose we can survive a missed run-through as long... SHAKE ... as they head up for the show. Oh yes, well I mean itud be a pity to miss the show, wouldnt it like. NORM Shurrup, cheerful. The horrible prospect hits the DIRECTOR. DIRECTOR You dont think... NORM Theyll be here. DIRECTOR Oh now, they cant do that to me. Its all your fault. Oh yes it is and if they dont turn up I wouldnt be in your shoes for all the... SHAKE ... tea in China. Oh youre right, neither would I. He steps away from NORM and stands near the DIRECTOR. NORM Traitor! SHAKE nods his agreement to this assessment of his character. SHAKE Of course. At this moment JOHN, GEORGE and PAUL enter from the stage door. They are completely unconcerned and walk past the DIRECTOR, SHAKE and NORM. JOHN Hi Norm! NORM Hi, our lot! The BOYS walk on when after a moment NORM snaps to. NORM Our lot! GEORGE Did you want something. NORM I could eat the lot of you. JOHN Youd look gear with an apple in your gob. DIRECTOR Do you realise you could have missed the final run-through? GEORGE Sorry. SHAKE Eh, theres only three of them. PAUL Aye, we were looking for Ringo. But we realised he must have come back. DIRECTOR Do you realise we are on the air, live, in front of an audience, in forty-five minutes and youre one short. JOHN Control yourself or youll spurt. Hes bound to be somewhere. NORM Aye, lets try the dressing room. Everyone starts along the passage. NORM and PAUL last. PAUL Eh, wheres my grandfather? NORM Dont worry about him. He can look after himself. PAUL Aye, I suppose so. They run after the others. 78. EXTERIOR T.V. THEATRE CLOSE-UP GRANDFATHER Here they are, personally signed and handwritten by your own sweet boys. The chance of a lifetime. Be the envy of your less fortunate sisters! The CAMERA PULLS back and we see GRANDFATHER is surrounded by girls who have broken from the queue and are doing a brisk trade with the old man. He has a large sign on which is written: Get your genuine autographed Beatles photographs. On the edge of the crowd two POLICEMEN are trying to force the girls back into the queue. Finally they wade through the girls and confront GRANDFATHER. They look at the old man quizzically; he stares back coldly. They indicate he should hop it and quick but GRANDFATHER defiantly glares back at them. So with a sigh, they grab an arm each and escort the old man off. 79. INTERIOR POLICE STATION It is the reception desk and behind it is the DESK SERGEANT. After a moment RINGO is dragged in by the POLICEMAN we saw him with before. RINGO Look, Im Ringo Starr... Ive got a show to do in a few minutes youve got to let me go... Im Ringo... POLICEMAN Sure, they all say that these days ... Anyway ... I dont care who you are... you can save that for the stipendary. Here you are, Sarge. SERGEANT What is he? POLICEMAN Ive got a little list here. Wandering abroad. Malicious intent. Acting in a suspicious manner. Conduct liable to cause a breach of the peace. You name it, hes done it. SERGEANT Oh, a little savage, is he? POLICEMAN A proper Aborigine. RINGO I demand to see me solicitor. SERGEANT Whats his name? RINGO Oh, well if youre going to get technical -- At that moment there is a loud series of noises off camera, furious shouting and dull crashes of wood. SERGEANT Hello, its going to be one of those nights, is it? Sit Charley Peace down over there. The POLICEMAN takes RINGO to a bench and sits him down as GRANDFATHER and the two POLICEMEN who were with him enter. The sign is tattered and is being lugged after them. GRANDFATHER Well, you got me here so do your worst but Ill take one of you with me. Oh, I know your game, get me in the tiled room and out come the rubber hoses but Ill defy you still. SERGEANT Is there a fire, then? GRANDFATHER leans across the desk and hisses at the SERGEANT. GRANDFATHER You ugly, great brute you, you have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser. SERGEANT Eh? GRANDFATHER Ill go on a hunger strike. I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit-clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle-tap. SERGEANT Whats he on about? GRANDFATHER Im soldier of the Republic, youll need the mahogany truncheon for this boyo. A nation once again. SERGEANT Get Lloyd George over there with that mechanic in the cloth cap while I sort this lot out. The POLICEMEN hurtle GRANDFATHER firmly but gently over to the bench on which RINGO is sitting and then return to the desk for a whispered conference with the SERGEANT. Meanwhile in full conspiratorial fashion GRANDFATHER talks to RINGO out of the side of his mouth. GRANDFATHER Ringo, me old scout, they grabbed yer leg for the iron too, did they? RINGO Well Im not exactly a voluntary patient. GRANDFATHER Shush! Have they roughed you up yet? RINGO What? GRANDFATHER Keep your voice down, this lotll paste you, just for the exercise. Oh theyre a desperate crew of drippings and theyve fists like matured hams for pounding defenceless lads like you. RINGO Have they? GRANDFATHER That sergeants a body-blow veteran if ever I measured one. One of us has got to escape. Ill get the boys. Hold on son, Ill be back for you. RINGO Me! GRANDFATHER And if they get you on the floor watch out for your brisket. RINGO Oh, they seem all right to me. GRANDFATHER Thats what they want you to think. All coppers are villains. SERGEANT Would you two like a cup of tea? GRANDFATHER You see, sly villains. RINGO No thanks, Mr. Sergeant, sir. We now have a CLOSE SHOT of POLICEMEN around the sergeants desk. SERGEANT So you just brought the old chap out of the crowd for his own good. POLICEMAN Yeah, but he insisted on us bringing him to the station. SERGEANT Well, he cant stop here. Shot of GRANDFATHER watching POLICEMEN intently and muttering words as he does. RINGO What are you doing? GRANDFATHER Lip reading. RINGO What are they saying? GRANDFATHER Nothing good. The POLICEMEN make a move towards GRANDFATHER and RINGO. GRANDFATHER Well son, its now or never. He jumps to his feet and scurries towards the door. GRANDFATHER All right, you paid assassins. Johnny McCartneyll give you a run for your threepence hapenny. He dashes out of the door followed by the POLICEMAN who has his pile of photos. SERGEANT Now, whats he up to? RINGO Hes allergic to Bobbies, especially English Bobbies. The POLICEMAN with the photos returns. POLICEMAN Your man disappeared like a leveret over a hill. RINGO Turncoat! The POLICEMEN turn on RINGO and walk towards him. CLOSE-UP RINGO RINGO Mother! 80. EXTERIOR STREET GRANDFATHER is running at top speed down the street. He is breathing heavily and runs as if pursued by the hounds of hell. The street however is entirely empty and no one is even in sight. As he reaches the top of the street he pauses and turning, looks around him. From his P.O.V. we see just how empty the street is and heaving a sigh of relief GRANDFATHER cackles to himself. His triumph is short lived. At this precise moment down the street comes a parade of police vehicles, a Black Maria, an escorting police motor bike patrol and an ordinary squad car. The procession draws up and the street is full of policemen getting out of the Black Maria and squad car and off motor bikes. CLOSE-UP GRANDFATHERs horrified face. GRANDFATHER Be God, theyve called up reinforcements, the dragnets out! He dashes off wildly in the general direction of the theatre. He has been completely unnoticed by the policemen who are lining up for a last minute inspection by the inspector in charge. The inspector is like a commander-in-chief of a spear-head attack force. They smartly march off in the direction taken by GRANDFATHER. 81. INTERIOR T.V. THEATRE CONTROL ROOM DIRECTOR Only half an hour and youre on! GEORGE Can I say something? The director clutches at any straw. DIRECTOR Yes, anything. GEORGE Its highly unlikely well be on... I mean the law of averages are against you and it seems that, etc., etc.... But his speech is drowned by the pitiful moans of the DIRECTOR. 82. EXTERIOR T.V. THEATRE STAGE DOOR The four little boys from the canal are being driven away by the security guard. GUARD Ill have the hides off of you lot. The kids retreat as GRANDFATHER pants into shot, ignoring the kids he enters the stage door but in a second he is out again, grasped firmly by the collar by the security guard. GUARD You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Go home! GRANDFATHER I must see Pauly. GUARD Go home then and see him on the telly. The GUARD re-enters the stage door. GRANDFATHER looks around him and sees the four kids. He hustles over and after a whispered conference we hear his offer. GRANDFATHER Can you fix him for me? BOYS Yeah. GRANDFATHER Sixpence. BOY Each? GRANDFATHER is about to argue. GRANDFATHER Oh, all right. BOY And in advance. GRANDFATHER Mercenary! But he hands over the money. The kids rush in the stage door and after a moment the furious GUARD chases them out and down the alley. GRANDFATHER, chuckling, nips in the door. 83. INTERIOR T.V. CONTROL ROOM ON STAGE GRANDFATHER is being chased by several studio attendants; he is dodging behind equipment. He finally gets on a sound boom trolley and uses it as a weapon to keep his pursuers at bay. 84. INTERIOR T.V. CONTROL ROOM The DIRECTOR, BOYS, and NORM and SHAKE see GRANDFATHER on the monitors. They dash out of the room and on to the stage. DIRECTOR Its all right, leave him alone. PAUL Grandad, wheres Ringo? GRANDFATHER The police have the poor unfortunate lad in the Bridewell. BOYS The police station. GRANDFATHER Hell be pulp by now. JOHN What are we waiting for? GEORGE Come here. PAUL, JOHN and GEORGE rush off. CLOSE-UP DIRECTOR DIRECTOR Weve only got twenty minutes. 85. EXTERIOR STREET OUTSIDE POLICE STATION PAUL, JOHN and GEORGE come running down the street in single file, their knees high in the air, they skid to a halt at the police station and without pausing they dash inside. After a moment they reappear -- only this time RINGO is behind them. They dash off down the street. They are followed at once by ten POLICEMEN also in single file. They are also pounding along knees high in the air. The BOYS and the coppers disappear around the corner. At once, they reappear from the other direction, then run down the street still followed by the policemen. When they reach the police station another group of police bars their way so they are forced to run up the stairs and inside. 86. INTERIOR POLICE STATION The DESK SERGEANT is standing behind his desk looking very surprised. At this moment the boys run in and stand panting in front of the desk. Before the SERGEANT can start speaking the pursuing POLICEMEN arrive. They, too, are out of breath. SERGEANT What is all this? JOHN Hold on until we get our breath. The BOYS and POLICEMEN pant on until JOHN seems to have recovered. SERGEANT All right now? JOHN Sure. Ready? The BOYS nod and without further ado they turn and run through the surprised rank of POLICEMEN and out into the street. 87. EXTERIOR STREET THE CHASE CARRIES ON. Shots of BOYS being pursued by police, including the sergeant with one shot where the BOYS are chasing the POLICEMEN. Finally, as they approach the theatre, they are seen by the girl fans who swarm around the police, over running them. The boys grin to each other and are about to make off when from their P.O.V. we see the INSPECTOR and POLICEMEN blocking it. JOHN Ah well, it was worth a try. INSPECTOR What do you think youre up to? SERGEANT Arrest those boys, sir. INSPECTOR Thats all we need to start a real riot! Come on lads, theyre waiting for you. ### INTERIOR THEATRE BACKSTAGE The Inspector now hustles the BOYS through the crowds and in through the main entrance of the theatre where SHAKE and NORM are waiting. NORM looks suspiciously at RINGO who is still wearing his cap. RINGO whips it off and NORM delightedly hugs him. The BOYS dash through the stalls entrance and on stage. The DIRECTOR sees them and bursts into tears with relief. NORM hustles the lads into the wings to be changed into their show costumes. All around them last-minute preparations are going on. DIRECTOR Boys, you dont know what this means to me. If you hadnt come back it would have been the epilogue or the news in Welsh for life. NORM Arent you supposed to be in that box? The DIRECTOR gives NORM a final glare and dashes off. PAUL And another thing, wheres that old mixer? GRANDFATHER Here, Pauly. And sitting on a box sadly chastened sits GRANDFATHER. PAUL Well, I got a few things to say to you, two-faced John McCartney. JOHN Aw, leave him alone Paul, hes back, isnt he? And its not his fault hes old. PAUL Whats old got to do with it? JOHN You neednt bother. PAUL Ywhat? JOHN Practising to be thick-headed, youre there already. PAUL Look hes a mixer and a trouble maker! JOHN Thats right, but hes only asking us to pay attention to him, arent you? From JOHNs P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER. He looks what he is, a tired old man. JOHN You see. You know your trouble -- you should have gone West to America. Youd have wound up a Senior Citizen of Boston. As it is you took the wrong turning and what happened, youre a lonely old man from Liverpool. GRANDFATHER But Im clean. The BOYS giggle and slap him on the back. 88. INTERIOR TV THEATRE AUDITORIUM We see the audience of girls streaming in and settling down in their places for the show. There is the usual business of getting the show ready and we see SHOTS of the girls faces, then JOHN, PAUL, RINGO and GEORGE looking at them. At last on cue from the floor manager the BOYS start their act to the audiences screams. During the number we constantly CUT away to the audience with various SHOTS of the ecstatic girls. In the middle of these shots we see NORM standing at the side of the audience his face glowing with satisfaction. We follow his gaze and from NORMS P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER handcuffed to SHAKE, but in spite of this, the old man is enjoying himself. The BOYS now perform a medley of numbers, i.e., a little of all the songs we have heard during the story. This gives the impression of a full set and we finish after their bows. While they are doing so they look again in the general direction of SHAKE and GRANDFATHER and from their P.O.V., we see SHAKE is beating time to the music but from his wrist dangles an empty set of handcuffs. GRANDFATHER has gone again. As the BOYS are reacting to GRANDFATHERs disappearance once again, the trap door on the stage opens and GRANDFATHER appears in the centre of the group as they finish their act and take their final bows. 89. INTERIOR STUDIO CORRIDOR NORM is waiting for the boys. With him are two studio attendants carrying the boys luggage. As the BOYS excitedly appear he speaks to hem. NORM Ive got the stuff. Come here. PAUL Arent we ... NORM No, were not! He hurries them along. NORM The office was on the phone, they think itd be better if we pushed straight to Wolverhampton. JOHN Tonight? We cant make it ... NORM Youve got a midnight matinee. JOHN Now, look here, Norm ... NORM No, you look here, John. Ive only one thing to say to you. JOHN What? NORM Youre a swine. So hurry up ... were travelling! NORM turns down a side exit where the door is open to the field. In it is an eight-passenger helicopter. 90. EXTERIOR STAGE DOOR T.V. THEATRE The BOYS and NORM come out of the building and start to run towards the helicopter. PAUL Wheres my grandfather? NORM Dont start. Look. The boys look in the passenger bay and there is GRANDFATHER. He is still handcuffed to SHAKE but clutching his pile of photos. GRANDFATHER Come on, youre hanging up the parade. The boys shout Get rid of those things, etc. 91. EXTERIOR FIELD The final shot is of the helicopter rising up . As it disappears, a shower of photos come from its window. We cut to a CLOSE-UP of one signed photo as it hits the ground and SUPER the closing credits over it.

Next number was called Sha La La La La La Youre joking! No? La? Ah, but, in fact, Baby Its You Why dont you do it in your famous James Mason impersonation voice? Ha, ha All right! Go on, man! Do it in your I thought this next number was called one Sha La La La La La, but, in fact, Baby Its You Get off! Get off! Ha, ha! Very good! Okay Can you do Mickey Mouse? Yes All ring, sing a song, fellows Okay, lets go!

Ah, ah, ah Ah, look at all the lonely people Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been Lives in a dream Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door Who is it for? All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear No one comes near Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when theres nobody there What does he care? All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? Ah, look at all the lonely people Ah, look at all the lonely people Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name Nobody came Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave No one was saved All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? Ah, ah, ah

Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream It is not dying, it is not dying We were talking About the space between us all And the people Who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion Never glimpse the truth Then its far too late When they pass away We were talking About the love we all could share When we find it To try our best to hold it there with our love With our love, we could save the world If they only knew Try to realize its all within yourself No one else can make you change And to see youre really only very small And life flows on within you and without you Enihsnus Enihsnus ho

When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we see No I wont be afraid No I wont be afraid Just as long as you stand Stand by me So darling, darling stand by me Oh, stand by me Oh, stand by, oh stand, stand by me If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall Or the mountain should crumble to the sea I wont cry, I wont cry No I wont shed a tear Just as long as you stand, stand by me Whenever youre in trouble would you stand by me? Oh, stand by Oh, stand by, oh stand, stand by me

Sunrise doesnt last all morning A cloudburst doesnt last all day Seems my love is up And has left you with no warning But its not always going to be this grey All things must pass All things must pass away Sunset doesnt last all evening A mind can blow those clouds away After all this my love is up And must be leaving It has not always been this grey All things must pass All things must pass away All things must pass None of lifes strings can last So I must be on my way And face another day Now the darkness only stays at nighttime In the morning it will fade away Daylight is good At arriving at the right time Its not always going to be this grey All things must pass All things must pass away All things must pass All things must pass away

Step inside love and stay Step inside love Step inside love Step inside love I want you to stay You look tired, love Let me turn down the light Come in out of the cold Rest your head on my shoulder And kiss me goodnight We are together Now and forever, come my way (Joe Prairies and the Prairie Wallflowers Los Paranoias Ha ha!) Los Paranoias Invites you to To just enjoy us Come on you can do it Baby, come on and join the Los Paranoias Just enjoy us Los Paranoias Oh! Los Paranoias! Come on and join us Harmony Los Paranoias Come on and join us Were the Los Paranoias Were here to sing for you And what if you want us to We will sing a little song for you Los Paranoias

RS2! You Never Give Me Your Money You never give me your money You only give me your funny paper And in the middle of negotiations You break down I never give you my number I only give you my situation And in the middle of investigation I break down Out of college, money spent See no future, pay no rent All the moneys gone, nowhere to go Any job, I got the sack Monday morning, turning back Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go But oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go Oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go Nowhere to go One sweet dream Pick up the bags and get in the limousine Soon well be away from here Step on the gas and wipe that tear away One sweet dream came true today Came true today Came true today Yes, it did 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to Heaven 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 All good children go to... Sun King Here comes the sun king Here comes the sun king Everybody is laughing Everybody is happy Here comes the sun king Quando para mucho mi amore de felice corazón Mundo paparazzi mi amore chicka ferdy parasol Cuesto obrigado tanta mucho que canite carousel Mean Mr. Mustard Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park Shaves in the dark trying to save paper Sleeps in a hole in the road Saving up to buy some clothes Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose Such a mean old man Such a mean old man His sister Pam works in a shop She never stops, shes a go-getter Takes him out to look at the Queen Only place that hes ever been Always shouts out something obscene Such a dirty old man Dirty old man Her Majesty Her Majestys a pretty nice girl But she doesnt have a lot to say Her Majestys a pretty nice girl But she changes from day to day I want to tell her that I love her a lot But I gotta get a bellyful of wine Her Majestys a pretty nice girl Someday Im going to make her mine, oh yeah Someday Im going to make her mine Polythene Pam Well, you should see Polythene Pam Shes so good-looking but she looks like a man Well, you should see her in drag dressed in her polythene bag Yes, you should see Polythene Pam Yeah, yeah, yeah Get a dose of her in jackboots and kilt Shes killer-diller when shes dressed to the hilt Shes the kind of a girl that makes The News of the World Yes, you could say she was attractively built Yeah, yeah, yeah Great! Fab! Isnt that great? Its real good, that Real good Listen to that, Mal Oh look out! Its- She Came In Through the Bathroom Window She came in through the bathroom window Protected by a silver spoon But now she sucks her thumb and wanders By the banks of her own lagoon Didnt anybody tell her? Didnt anybody see? Sundays on the phone to Monday Tuesdays on the phone to me She said shed always been a dancer She worked at fifteen clubs a day And though she thought I knew the answer Well, I knew what I could not say And so I quit the police department And got myself a steady job And though she tried her best to help me She could steal, but she could not rob Didnt anybody tell her? Didnt anybody see? Sundays on the phone to Monday Tuesdays on the phone to me, oh yeah Golden Slumbers Once there was a way to get back homeward Once there was a way to get back home Sleep pretty darling, do not cry And I will sing a lullaby Golden slumbers fill your eyes Smiles await you when you rise Sleep pretty darling, do not cry And I will sing a lullaby Once there was a way to get back homeward Once there was a way to get back home Sleep pretty darling, do not cry And I will sing a lullaby Carry That Weight Boy, youre gonna carry that weight Carry that weight a long time Boy, youre gonna carry that weight Carry that weight a long time I never give you my pillow I only send you my invitations And in the middle of the celebrations I break down Boy, youre gonna carry that weight Carry that weight a long time Boy, youre gonna carry that weight Carry that weight a long time The End

You never wear a stitch of lace Your powders never on your face Youre always wearing jeans except on Sunday So, please, dont ever change Now, dont you ever change I kind of like you just the way you are You dont know the latest dance But when its time to make romance Your kisses let me know youre not a tomboy So, please, dont ever change Now, dont you ever change Just promise me youre always going to be As sweet as you are I love you when youre happy I love you when youre blue I love you when youre mad at me So, how can I get tired of you? Now, lots of other girls Ive seen They know how to treat guys mean But you would rather die than ever hurt me So, please, dont ever change Now, dont you ever change Just promise me youre always going to be As sweet as you are Please, dont ever change Dont you ever change Please, dont ever change Dont you ever change

Im Ringo and I play the drums Im Paul and I play the ehm bass Im George and I play a guitar Im John and I too play guitar, sometimes I play the fool

00:02:31 ♪♪♪♪ 00:02:34 Roll up, roll up forthe Magical Mystery Tour! 00:02:38 Step right this way! 00:02:39 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:02:42 ♪♪ Roll up forthe mystery tour ♪♪ 00:02:45 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:02:47 ♪♪ Roll up forthe mystery tour ♪♪ 00:02:50 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:02:51 ♪♪ And thats an invitation ♪♪ 00:02:53 ♪♪ Roll up for the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:02:56 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:02:57 ♪♪ To make a reservation ♪♪ 00:02:59 ♪♪ Roll upfor the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:03:02 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 00:03:04 ♪♪ Is waiting to take you away ♪♪ 00:03:08 ♪♪ Waiting to take you away ♪♪ 00:03:11 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:03:13 ♪♪ Roll upfor the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:03:17 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:03:19 ♪♪ Roll upfor the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:03:22 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:03:23 ♪♪ Weve gotevrything you need ♪♪ 00:03:25 ♪♪ Roll upfor the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:03:28 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:03:29 ♪♪ Satisfaction guaranteed ♪♪ 00:03:31 ♪♪ Roll up for the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:03:33 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 00:03:36 ♪♪ Is hoping to take you away ♪♪ 00:03:39 ♪♪ Hoping to take you away ♪♪♪♪ 00:03:42 When a man buys a ticket fora Magical Mystery Tour, he knows what to expect. 00:03:49 We guarantee him the tripof a lifetime, and thats just what he gets. 00:03:54 The incredibleMagical Mystery Tour! 00:04:01 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 00:04:05 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:04:08 ♪♪ Roll up forthe mystery tour ♪♪ 00:04:11 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:04:12 ♪♪ And thats an invitation ♪♪ 00:04:15 ♪♪ Roll up for the mystery tour ♪♪ 00:04:19 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 00:04:20 ♪♪ To make a reservation ♪♪ 00:04:22 ♪♪ Roll up for the Mystery Tour ♪♪ 00:04:26 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 00:04:29 ♪♪ Is coming to take you away ♪♪ 00:04:33 ♪♪ Coming to take you away ♪♪ 00:04:38 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 00:04:41 ♪♪ Is dying to take you away ♪♪ 00:04:45 ♪♪ Dying to take you away ♪♪ 00:04:48 ♪♪ Take you today ♪♪♪♪ 00:05:04 Come on, were gonna be late. 00:05:06 I cant go any quicker! 00:05:09 Stop it! 00:05:11 Come on! 00:05:12 Richard B. Starkey and his Aunt Jessica are always arguing about one thing or another. 00:05:18 Oh, Im going! 00:05:21 Oh, go! Go on! 00:05:22 And what with today being Sunday and the weather looking up, youd think theyd have given it a rest. 00:05:27 For goodness sake, stop sitting down! 00:05:30 All right, all right, whats your hurry? 00:05:32 But no -- on and on they go. 00:05:36 Good morning, said Richard. 00:05:38 Good afternoon, sir, said the courier. 00:05:41 They were late. 00:05:41 JESSICA: Allo, Flo, you all right, girl? 00:05:42 Ill sit ere. 00:05:45 RICHARD: Yes, Ill have the window seat. 00:05:46 JESSICA: All right, so youll have the window seat! 00:05:52 Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. 00:05:55 Welcome to Magical Mystery Tours! 00:06:00 I am your courier, Jolly Jimmy Johnson! 00:06:03 All my friends call me Jolly Jimmy -- and you are all my friends! 00:06:07 Over here is your hostess -- that lovely, delightful, delectable... Wendy Winters! 00:06:12 Lovely girl, lovely! 00:06:13 And over here, our driver for the trip, that wonderful driver, we hope... 00:06:18 Ha ha ha! 00:06:19 Alf! Off you go, Alf! 00:06:21 Here we go now. Splendid! 00:06:22 Fasten your safety belts, please. 00:06:25 Away-way-way we go! 00:06:28 Away we go, Alf, splendid! 00:06:31 Very comfy in the back there, is it? Lovely. 00:06:33 I say its lovely. Get your popcorn out! 00:06:37 Ha ha! 00:06:38 Right hand down. There we are, splendid. 00:06:41 And away we go. 00:06:42 Anyway, Ill tell you something, you aint coming away with me anymore. 00:06:46 Who bought the tickets for this trip? I did! 00:06:48 Yeah, with my money. I gave you the money. 00:06:50 Im taking you out. Youre not taking me anywhere. 00:06:52 I gave you the money, darling. Remember that. 00:06:55 And youve done nothing but eye all the fellas on the coach since we got here. 00:06:59 Shut your cakehole! 00:06:59 I dunno, since Uncle Jack died, youve never been the same. 00:07:03 Of course, cause I aint got Uncle Jack, have I? 00:07:06 I remember him. I remember him. 00:07:07 If I aint got him, Ive got to get somebody else. 00:07:10 You should know, youre old enough at 21! 00:07:13 You should do a bit of knitting, do you good. 00:07:15 Who for? You? 00:07:17 Should I knit for you? 00:07:19 No, dont knit for me. 00:07:23 Who is that man? 00:07:31 Oh, thats Mr Bloodvessel. 00:07:33 Hes quite harmless. He comes on all the trips. 00:07:36 He thinks hes a courier. 00:07:38 Last trip, he thought he was the driver. 00:07:42 PAUL: Well, you know, when I saw your first film, I really thought you had something, but it was -- WOMAN: I was only about 6, then. 00:07:50 PAUL: Wasnt it Blue Lady? Lady in Blue? 00:07:53 Something like that. 00:07:55 WOMAN: How old are you? 00:07:56 PAUL: I myself am 30... 00:07:57 but I look a little younger due to the Fair Isle sweater. 00:08:01 Excuse me, sir. 00:08:02 Id like to take a photograph of the young lady, do you mind? 00:08:05 I dont mind if Miss Gabriella doesnt. 00:08:08 Well, Miss Gabriella doesnt mind. 00:08:10 Thank you, bye-bye. 00:08:12 See you later, maybe. 00:08:13 Or we wont see him later. Can I have you out there? 00:08:19 All right. 00:08:20 My lucky day! 00:08:27 ♪♪ Day after day ♪♪ 00:08:31 ♪♪ Alone on a hill ♪♪ 00:08:34 ♪♪ The man with the foolish grin ♪♪ 00:08:37 ♪♪ Is keeping perfectly still ♪♪ 00:08:41 ♪♪ But nobody wants to know him ♪♪ 00:08:44 ♪♪ They can see that hes just a fool ♪♪ 00:08:47 ♪♪ And he never gives an answer ♪♪ 00:08:50 ♪♪ But the fool on the hill ♪♪ 00:08:54 ♪♪ Sees the sun going down ♪♪ 00:08:57 ♪♪ And the eyes in his head ♪♪ 00:09:00 ♪♪ See the world spinning round ♪♪ 00:09:08 ♪♪ Well on the way ♪♪ 00:09:11 ♪♪ Head in a cloud ♪♪ 00:09:14 ♪♪ The man of a thousand voices ♪♪ 00:09:17 ♪♪ Talking perfectly loud ♪♪ 00:09:21 ♪♪ But nobody ever hears him ♪♪ 00:09:24 ♪♪ Or the sound he appears to make ♪♪ 00:09:28 ♪♪ And he never seems to notice ♪♪ 00:09:30 ♪♪ But the fool on the hill ♪♪ 00:09:33 ♪♪ Sees the sun going down ♪♪ 00:09:37 ♪♪ And the eyes in his head ♪♪ 00:09:40 ♪♪ See the world spinning round ♪♪ 00:10:00 ♪♪ And nobody seems to like him ♪♪ 00:10:03 ♪♪ They can tell what he wants to do ♪♪ 00:10:07 ♪♪ And he never shows his feelings ♪♪ 00:10:10 ♪♪ But the fool on the hill ♪♪ 00:10:13 ♪♪ Sees the sun going down ♪♪ 00:10:16 ♪♪ And the eyes in his head ♪♪ 00:10:19 ♪♪ See the world spinning round ♪♪ 00:10:26 ♪♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... ♪♪ 00:10:33 ♪♪ Round and round and round and round... 00:10:34 ♪♪ 00:10:40 ♪♪ He never listens to them ♪♪ 00:10:43 ♪♪ He knows that theyre the fools ♪♪ 00:10:47 ♪♪ They dont like him ♪♪ 00:10:50 ♪♪ The fool on the hill ♪♪ 00:10:53 ♪♪ Sees the sun going down ♪♪ 00:10:56 ♪♪ And the eyes in his head ♪♪ 00:10:59 ♪♪ See the world spinning round ♪♪ 00:11:07 ♪♪ Oh... ♪♪ 00:11:09 ♪♪ Round and round and round and round ♪♪ 00:11:14 ♪♪ Oh... ♪♪♪♪ 00:11:20 Good morning, lads and lasses. My name is Miss Winters. 00:11:24 Good morning, Miss Winters, Miss Winters, Miss Winters! 00:11:28 Yes, well, I just wanted to say, if theres anything I can do for you, you know what to do. 00:11:37 We at Magical Mysteries only have your best interests at heart, and your every wish is our command. 00:11:44 Thank you. 00:12:12 As the bus leaves the town behind and heads for the country, everything begins to change. 00:12:20 Well, almost everything. 00:12:31 And already the magic is beginning to work. 00:12:42 Ha ha! 00:13:05 Jolly good! 00:13:11 Have a look around. 00:13:13 Why? 00:14:04 Why? 00:14:06 Why? 00:14:07 ...and get your bloody hair cut! 00:14:17 Iolé, olé, olé! 00:15:01 Jolly good, Sarge, carry on. 00:15:12 MAN: On your marks... 00:16:35 get set... 00:16:38 Go! 00:16:38 Wait! 00:17:53 Second gear! Come on! Yah! Yah! 00:18:02 Whos getting in that car? Who is it? 00:18:13 Aah! Aah! 00:18:16 Come on, come on. 00:18:17 Weve gotta win those with the bikes! 00:18:19 Hes stopping! Out of the road, you stupid... 00:18:22 Hes picking the vicars up! 00:18:23 Hold on, weve got em now, folks! 00:18:59 Aaaaah! 00:19:30 If you look to your left, ladies and gentlemen, the view is not very inspiring. 00:28:39 Ah... but if you look to your right... 00:29:45 ♪♪ La-la-la-la-la... ♪♪ 00:30:06 ♪♪ Ahh ♪♪ 00:30:08 ♪♪ Ahh ♪♪ 00:30:11 ♪♪ Ahhh ♪♪ 00:30:32 Beyond the blue horizon, far above the clouds... 00:30:37 in a land that no-one knows... 00:30:39 live four or five magicians who spend their days casting wonderful spells. 00:30:44 Come with me now into that secret place where the eyes of man have never set foot. 00:31:07 Wheres the bus? 00:31:18 Wheres the bus? 00:31:21 Shh! 00:31:29 Wheres the bus? 00:31:32 Its coming. 00:31:36 Wheres the bus?! 00:31:39 The bus? 00:31:45 The bus is ten miles north on the Dewsbury road. 00:31:49 Oh! 00:31:50 Its only ten miles away. 00:31:53 Bus... ten miles! 00:31:55 Soon be here. 00:31:57 The bus, 10 miles away... 00:32:02 Oh, ladies and gentlemen, quickly, look to your left! 00:32:04 Now there you see the ancient Roman ruins. 00:32:08 Now they really have been there an awful long time. 00:32:11 They are, in fact, a little difficult to see because theyre almost flattened to the ground... 00:32:16 Meanwhile, back on the bus, things are happening -- and life lobbles on. 00:32:22 Indeed, the magic is so powerful that even Mr Bloodvessel emerges from his shell. 00:32:28 He turns to speak. 00:32:29 If I may take the liberty, Mister... 00:32:32 Be my guest. 00:32:33 Give over! 00:32:37 My dear lady... 00:32:41 My dear lady, doesnt intuition tell you what I feel? 00:32:46 Dont interrupt. 00:32:48 You bring out my... 00:32:55 .. 00:32:56 love you! 00:32:57 Love you! Love you! 00:35:14 I am the courier. 00:35:18 Good morning, men... 00:35:21 and women. 00:35:23 Welcome. 00:35:25 I am your friendly courier. 00:35:28 Mr Bloodvessel is my name. 00:35:33 Buster Bloodvessel. 00:35:36 I am concerned for you to enjoy yourselves within the limits of British decency. 00:35:46 You know what I mean... dont you? 00:35:50 Well? Dont you? 00:35:54 Yes, Mr Bloodvessel Yes, Mr Bloodvessel. 00:36:16 ♪♪ I am he as you are he ♪♪ 00:36:19 ♪♪ As you are me ♪♪ 00:36:20 ♪♪ And we are all together ♪♪ 00:36:24 ♪♪ See how they run, like pigs from a gun ♪♪ 00:36:27 ♪♪ See how they fly ♪♪ 00:36:30 ♪♪ Im crying ♪♪ 00:36:33 ♪♪ Sitting on a cornflake ♪♪ 00:36:36 ♪♪ Waiting for the van to come ♪♪ 00:36:41 ♪♪ Corporation tee shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday ♪♪ 00:36:44 ♪♪ Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long ♪♪ 00:36:49 ♪♪ I am the eggman ♪♪ 00:36:51 ♪♪ Ooh! ♪♪ 00:36:52 ♪♪ They are the eggmen ♪♪ 00:36:54 ♪♪ Ooh! ♪♪ 00:36:56 ♪♪ I am the walrus, Goo goo g joob ♪♪ 00:36:58 ♪♪ Mister city pliceman sitting ♪♪ 00:37:01 ♪♪ Pretty little plicemen in a row ♪♪ 00:37:07 ♪♪ See how they fly, like Lucy in the sky ♪♪ 00:37:10 ♪♪ See how they run ♪♪ 00:37:13 ♪♪ Im crying ♪♪ 00:37:16 ♪♪ Im crying ♪♪ 00:37:21 ♪♪ Im crying ♪♪ 00:37:24 ♪♪ Im crying ♪♪ 00:37:29 ♪♪ Yellow matter custard ♪♪ 00:37:33 ♪♪ Dripping from a dead dogs eye ♪♪ 00:37:38 ♪♪ Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess ♪♪ 00:37:40 ♪♪ Boy, you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down ♪♪ 00:37:46 ♪♪ I am the eggman ♪♪ 00:37:48 ♪♪ Ooh! ♪♪ 00:37:49 ♪♪ They are the eggmen ♪♪ 00:37:51 ♪♪ Ooh! ♪♪ 00:37:51 ♪♪ I am the walrus, Goo goo g joob ♪♪ 00:38:06 ♪♪ Sitting in an English garden ♪♪ 00:38:09 ♪♪ Waiting for the sun ♪♪ 00:38:13 ♪♪ If the sun dont come, you get a tan ♪♪ 00:38:16 ♪♪ From standing in the English rain ♪♪ 00:38:20 ♪♪ I am the eggman ♪♪ 00:38:22 ♪♪ They are the eggmen ♪♪ 00:38:24 ♪♪ I am the walrus ♪♪ 00:38:27 ♪♪ Goo goo g joob ♪♪ 00:38:28 ♪♪ G goo goo g joob ♪♪ 00:38:31 ♪♪ Expert texpert choking smokers ♪♪ 00:38:34 ♪♪ Dont you think the joker laughs at you? 00:38:35 ♪♪ 00:38:39 ♪♪ See how they smile, like pigs in a sty ♪♪ 00:38:42 ♪♪ See how they snied ♪♪ 00:38:45 ♪♪ Im crying ♪♪ 00:38:48 ♪♪ Semolina pilchards ♪♪ 00:38:52 ♪♪ Climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪♪ 00:38:55 ♪♪ Elementry penguin singing Hare Krishna ♪♪ 00:38:59 ♪♪ Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe ♪♪ 00:39:04 ♪♪ I am the eggman ♪♪ 00:39:06 ♪♪ Ooh! ♪♪ 00:39:06 ♪♪ They are the eggmen ♪♪ 00:39:08 ♪♪ Ooh! ♪♪ 00:39:09 ♪♪ I am the walrus, Goo goo g joob ♪♪ 00:39:13 ♪♪ G goo goo g joob ♪♪ 00:39:14 ♪♪ Goo goo g joob G goo goo g joob, g goo ♪♪ 00:39:20 ♪♪ Joob joob joob! ♪♪ 00:39:21 ♪♪ Joob joob ♪♪ 00:39:23 ♪♪ Joob, joob joob ♪♪ 00:39:25 ♪♪ Joob joob ♪♪ 00:39:26 ♪♪ Aha-aha-aha-aha... ♪♪ 00:39:37 ...give the letters which thou findest about me to Edmund Earl of Gloucester. 00:40:04 Seek him out upon the British party. 00:40:08 O, Untimely Death! 00:40:17 I know thee well, a serviceable villain... 00:40:24 LENNON: What about, Five little dickie birds sitting on your head... One named Charlie and one named Fred? 00:40:34 CHILD: Yes. 00:40:34 LENNON: Do that one, then. 00:40:36 CHILD: You do it with me. lennon: okay. 00:40:37 BOTH: Five little dickie birds sitting on your head, One named... 00:40:43 Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie! 00:40:45 Whoops! Charlie, whoops! Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. 00:40:49 Can you do that one? 00:40:50 Teehee! No. 00:40:52 Teehee! Yes. 00:40:53 No. Yes. 00:40:54 No. Yes! 00:40:55 No. Ive got a present for you. Do you know what it is? 00:40:58 No. Have a guess. 00:41:00 No! Go on, have a guess. 00:41:02 No. Have a guess! 00:41:04 No. HAVE A GUESS! 00:41:06 Nooo! 00:41:07 Well, youre going to get it anyway. 00:41:12 Whats that? 00:41:14 Wait a mo, wait a mo. 00:41:16 Do you want to blow it? 00:41:18 No. 00:41:20 Teehee! 00:41:26 All right, should we give it to George? 00:41:29 Yeah. 00:41:30 There you are, George. 00:41:32 GEORGE: Thank you. 00:41:33 George, George, George, George! Oops! George, Oops! George! 00:41:38 George, George, George... 00:41:39 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 00:41:43 Our estimated time of arrival for luncheon is approximately 1:15. 00:41:48 Thank you. 00:41:51 Now shut up! 00:41:52 Shut up? Ive had enough of it! 00:41:54 I cant stand it anymore! Im gettin off! 00:41:55 Off! 00:41:58 Dont get historical! 00:52:02 Aunt Jessies hungry. 00:52:06 And shes dreaming. 00:52:08 Shes dreaming about food... 00:52:11 food... food.... 00:52:14 Beautiful food! 00:52:16 Oh, lettuce... 00:52:18 food... 00:52:19 potatoes... 00:52:21 food... 00:52:22 apples... 00:52:23 food... 00:52:30 WAITER, NASAL VOICE: Spaghetti, lady. 00:52:38 Spaghetti, lady. 00:52:39 WAITER: Spaghetti, lady. 00:53:09 Skarelli, lady. 00:53:11 This time I mean it! 00:53:26 I cant breathe anymore. Its too much. 00:53:33 Sk-skarelli, lady. 00:53:39 All this... mud... in 45 minutes! 00:53:47 I can hardly get my breath! 00:53:51 Its intake, Jessie, not output. 00:53:55 I am, I am! 00:53:58 I am already! 00:53:59 Three times this week already! 00:54:03 For goodness sake, Jessie, sit down. 00:54:07 Remember! 00:54:10 JESSIE: I dont care! 00:54:12 This is the way he would have wanted it. 00:54:16 Pirandello! 00:54:45 Help me up the stairs. 00:54:47 PIRANDELLO: Yes, lady. 00:54:55 SOMBER CHORUS: ♪♪ Oooh-ooh-ooh ♪♪ 00:54:59 Aha! 00:55:15 ...it will just be lovely! 00:55:34 Wake up, Jessie. 00:55:38 Theres no business like show business... 00:55:54 Theres no business I know. 00:55:56 Everything about it is so appealing... 00:56:01 Lets go on wit show... 00:56:08 Go ahead now. 00:56:10 Here we go. 00:56:11 There we are. 00:56:19 Ta-da! 00:56:40 Here we are again! 00:56:41 Everybody up and quickly in your seats. 00:57:01 ♪♪ Theres a fog upon L.A. ♪♪ 00:57:56 ♪♪ And my friends have lost their way ♪♪ 00:58:03 ♪♪ Well be over soon, they said ♪♪ 00:58:09 ♪♪ Now theyve lost themselves instead ♪♪ 00:58:17 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 00:58:23 ♪♪ Please dont you be very long ♪♪ 00:58:28 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 00:58:32 ♪♪ Or I may be asleep ♪♪ 00:58:37 ♪♪ Well, it only goes to show ♪♪ 00:58:43 ♪♪ And I told them where to go ♪♪ 00:58:48 ♪♪ Ask a pliceman on the street ♪♪ 00:58:54 ♪♪ Theres so many there to meet ♪♪ 00:59:01 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 00:59:06 ♪♪ Please dont you be very long ♪♪ 00:59:10 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 00:59:14 ♪♪ Or I may be asleep ♪♪ 00:59:19 ♪♪ Now its past my bed, I know ♪♪ 00:59:25 ♪♪ And Id really like to go ♪♪ 00:59:30 ♪♪ Soon will be the break of day ♪♪ 00:59:35 ♪♪ Sitting here in Blue Jay Way ♪♪ 00:59:43 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 00:59:47 ♪♪ Please dont you be very long ♪♪ 00:59:52 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 00:59:55 ♪♪ Or I may be asleep ♪♪ 01:00:00 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:05 ♪♪ Please dont you be very long ♪♪ 01:00:10 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:18 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:22 ♪♪ Please dont you be very long ♪♪ 01:00:27 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:36 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:40 ♪♪ Please dont you be very long ♪♪ 01:00:45 ♪♪ Please dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:49 ♪♪ Dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:53 ♪♪ Dont be long ♪♪ 01:00:56 ♪♪ Dont be long, Dont be long ♪♪ 01:01:04 ♪♪ Dont be long ♪♪ 01:01:06 ♪♪ Dont be long ♪♪ 01:01:09 ♪♪ Dont be long ♪♪♪♪ 01:01:19 Well, well, well. They are a happy crowd. 01:01:45 Go on. Come along, back on the bus. 01:01:49 Come on. 01:01:50 Off we go! 01:02:01 Ooh...Wonder what the magicians are cooking up now! 01:02:06 Ready! 01:02:07 Tea up, fellas. Oh! 01:02:13 Ooh, goody! 01:02:13 Ooh, talk about your magical mysteries, Ive spent half an hour looking for that sugar! 01:02:19 I was half an hour looking for the sugar. 01:02:22 Is there one for me? 01:02:23 Aye, theres one over here, Richard. 01:02:25 Oh, how are you, Bonzo? 01:02:27 All right? Any news of the bus? 01:02:30 The bus? 01:02:30 Its ten miles north on the Dewsbury road. 01:02:34 And theyre having a lovely time! 01:02:37 Theyre having a lovely time! 01:02:38 Theyre having a lovely time! 01:02:40 Can you tell me whats next on the agenda? 01:02:44 A song. 01:02:45 No! No! 01:02:50 Not you! 01:02:52 Them! On the bus! 01:02:56 ♪♪ Ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts! ♪♪ 01:03:00 Have you, then? Ah! 01:03:01 ♪♪ There they are a-standing in a row! ♪♪ 01:03:05 Youre a good kid, darling. 01:03:07 Come on, join in. Whats the matter with ya? 01:03:10 Hey! 01:03:13 ♪♪ Toot Toot Tootsie, goodbye! ♪♪ 01:03:19 ♪♪ Toot Toot Tootsie, dont cry ♪♪ 01:03:24 ♪♪ That choo choo train that takes me ♪♪ 01:03:29 ♪♪ Away from you, no words can tell how sad it makes me ♪♪ 01:03:34 ♪♪ Toot Toot Tootsie, goodbye! ♪♪ 01:03:37 ♪♪ As I go, I love to sing, my knapsack on my back ♪♪ 01:03:44 ♪♪ Val-deri, Val-dera ♪♪ 01:03:48 ♪♪ Val-deri ♪♪ 01:03:49 ♪♪ Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪♪ 01:03:52 ♪♪ ...are smiling ♪♪ 01:03:54 ♪♪ Sure tis like a morn in spring ♪♪ 01:04:01 ♪♪ When Irish eyes are smiling ♪♪ 01:04:06 ♪♪ You can hear the angels sing ♪♪ 01:04:11 ♪♪ Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho ♪♪ 01:04:13 ♪♪ When Irish eyes ♪♪ 01:04:16 ♪♪ Are smiling ♪♪ 01:04:19 ♪♪ La-la-la... ♪♪ 01:04:26 ♪♪ When Irish eyes ♪♪ 01:04:29 ♪♪ Are smiling ♪♪ 01:04:32 ♪♪ Therell be no more sobbin ♪♪ 01:04:33 ♪♪ When he starts throbbin his old sweet song ♪♪ 01:04:40 ♪♪ Wake up, wake up ♪♪ 01:04:42 ♪♪ You sleepy head ♪♪ 01:04:43 ♪♪ Get up, get up ♪♪ 01:04:46 ♪♪ Get out of bed ♪♪ 01:04:47 ♪♪ Cheer up, cheer up ♪♪ 01:04:49 ♪♪ The sun is red ♪♪ 01:04:50 ♪♪ Live, love, laugh... ♪♪ 01:04:53 ♪♪ La-la-la-la ♪♪ 01:04:55 ♪♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪♪ 01:04:59 ♪♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪♪ 01:05:02 ♪♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪♪ 01:05:05 ♪♪ La-la-la-la ♪♪ 01:05:09 ♪♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪♪ 01:05:11 ♪♪ Whoo whoo whoo whoo! ♪♪ 01:05:13 ♪♪ Whoo whoo whoo whoo! ♪♪ 01:05:16 ♪♪ Oooh oooh oooh oooh! ♪♪ 01:05:19 ♪♪ Ow Oh ooh ooh! ♪♪ 01:05:20 WINTERS: Ladies and gentlemen, when the coach stops, would the gentlemen please follow Mr Johnson and the ladies stay with me. 01:05:35 Here we are now, off we go. 01:05:37 In for a jolly evening with Jolly Jimmy. 01:05:41 This way! 01:05:47 Everybody comfortable? 01:05:54 Come on, where are they? 01:05:56 ♪♪ That night Cutie called a cab ♪♪ 01:06:10 ♪♪ Uh-huh-huh ♪♪ 01:06:11 ♪♪ Baby, dont do it ♪♪ 01:06:14 ♪♪ She left her East Side room so drab ♪♪ 01:06:18 ♪♪ Uh-huh-huh ♪♪ 01:06:19 ♪♪ Baby, dont do it ♪♪ 01:06:22 ♪♪ She went out on the town ♪♪ 01:06:25 ♪♪ Knowin it would make her lover frown ♪♪ 01:06:30 ♪♪ Death-cab for Cutie ♪♪ 01:06:34 ♪♪ Death-cab for Cutie ♪♪ 01:06:36 ♪♪ Someones gonna make you pay your fare ♪♪ 01:06:42 ♪♪ The cab was racin through the night ♪♪ 01:06:48 ♪♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪♪ 01:06:49 ♪♪ Baby, dont do it ♪♪ 01:06:52 ♪♪ His eyes in the mirror, keepin Cutie in sight ♪♪ 01:06:56 ♪♪ Uh-huh-huh ♪♪ 01:06:57 ♪♪ Baby, dont do it ♪♪ 01:06:59 ♪♪ When he saw Cutie, it gave him a thrill ♪♪ 01:07:04 ♪♪ Dont you know, baby ♪♪ 01:07:06 ♪♪ Curves can kill ♪♪ 01:07:08 ♪♪ Death-cab for Cutie ♪♪ 01:07:12 ♪♪ Death-cab for Cutie ♪♪ 01:07:15 ♪♪ Someones gonna make you pay your fare ♪♪ 01:07:22 ♪♪ Cutie, dont you play with fate ♪♪ 01:07:27 ♪♪ Dont leave your lover alone ♪♪ 01:07:31 ♪♪ If you go out on this date ♪♪ 01:07:34 ♪♪ His heart will turn to stone ♪♪ 01:07:38 ♪♪ Bad girl, Cutie, what have you done? ♪♪ 01:07:42 ♪♪ Uh-huh-huh ♪♪ 01:07:43 ♪♪ Baby, dont do it ♪♪ 01:07:46 ♪♪ Slippin slidin down-a Highway 31 ♪♪ 01:07:50 ♪♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪♪ 01:07:50 ♪♪ Baby, dont do it ♪♪ 01:07:54 ♪♪ The traffic lights changed from green to red ♪♪ 01:07:58 ♪♪ They tried to stop but they both wound up dead ♪♪ 01:08:03 ♪♪ Death-cab for Cutie ♪♪ 01:08:07 ♪♪ Death-cab for Cutie ♪♪ 01:08:09 ♪♪ Someones gonna make you pay your fare ♪♪ 01:08:18 ♪♪ Someones gonna make you pay your fare ♪♪ 01:08:25 ♪♪ Someones gonna make ♪♪ 01:08:28 ♪♪ You pay your fare ♪♪ 01:08:33 ♪♪ Someones gonna make you pay your fare ♪♪ 01:08:40 ♪♪ Ohhh ♪♪ 01:08:58 ♪♪ Lets all get up and dance to a song ♪♪ 01:09:02 ♪♪ That was a hit before your mother was born ♪♪ 01:09:06 ♪♪ Though she was born a long, long time ago ♪♪ 01:09:11 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:09:14 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:09:15 ♪♪ Your mother should ♪♪ 01:09:19 ♪♪ Sing it again ♪♪ 01:09:21 ♪♪ Lets all get up and dance to a song ♪♪ 01:09:24 ♪♪ That was a hit before your mother was born ♪♪ 01:09:29 ♪♪ Though she was born a long, long time ago ♪♪ 01:09:34 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:09:36 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:09:38 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:09:56 ♪♪ Lift up your hearts and sing me a song ♪♪ 01:10:00 ♪♪ That was a hit before your mother was born ♪♪ 01:10:04 ♪♪ Though she was born a long, long time ago ♪♪ 01:10:10 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:10:12 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:10:14 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:10:17 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:10:18 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:10:20 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:10:22 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:10:39 ♪♪ Sing it again ♪♪ 01:10:41 ♪♪ Da-da-da-da... ♪♪ 01:10:48 ♪♪ Though she was born a long, long time ago ♪♪ 01:10:53 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:10:56 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:10:58 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:11:00 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:11:02 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:11:04 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:11:06 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:11:08 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:11:10 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:11:12 ♪♪ Ooh-ooh ♪♪ 01:11:14 ♪♪ Your mother should know ♪♪ 01:11:19 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 01:11:22 ♪♪ Roll up forthe mystery tour ♪♪ 01:11:26 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 01:11:26 ♪♪ And thats an invitation ♪♪ 01:11:29 ♪♪ Roll upfor the mystery tour ♪♪ 01:11:33 ♪♪ Roll up ♪♪ 01:11:34 ♪♪ To make a reservation ♪♪ 01:11:37 ♪♪ Roll upfor the mystery tour ♪♪ 01:11:41 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 01:11:44 ♪♪ Is coming to take you away ♪♪ 01:11:48 ♪♪ Coming to take you away ♪♪ 01:11:53 ♪♪ The Magical Mystery Tour ♪♪ 01:11:55 ♪♪ Is dying to take you away ♪♪ 01:12:00 ♪♪ Dying to take you away ♪♪ 01:12:03 ♪♪ Take you today ♪♪ 01:12:25 And that wasa Magical Mystery Tour. 01:12:28 I told ya. 01:12:29 Goodbye. 01:12:30 ♪♪ Hey-la, hey, hello, ah ♪♪ 01:12:34 ♪♪ Hey-la, hey, hello, ah... ♪♪♪♪

I look at you all, see the love there thats sleeping While my guitar gently weeps I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping Still my guitar gently weeps I dont know why nobody told you How to unfold your love I dont know how someone controlled you They bought and sold you I look at the world and I notice its turning While my guitar gently weeps With every mistake we must surely be learning Still my guitar gently weeps I dont know how you were diverted You were perverted too I dont know how You were inverted No one alerted you I look from the wings at the play you are staging While my guitar gently weeps As I’m sitting here, doing nothing but aging Still my guitar gently weeps [Outro} Dab the mic on the piano, and quite low, this, just keep it in like, maracas you know. You know those old pianos Okay were on. Mouth

To know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her Just to see her smile Makes my life worthwhile Yes, just to know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her And I do And I do And I do Ill be good to her Ill make love to her Everyone says therell come a day When I walk alongside of her Yes, just to know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her And I do And I do And I do Why cant she see? How blind can she be? Someday shell see That she was meant just for me, oh, oh To know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her Just to see her smile Makes my life worthwhile Yes, just to know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her And I do And I do And I do Why cant she see? How blind can she be? Someday shell see That she was meant just for me, oh, oh To know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her Just to see her smile Makes my life worthwhile Yes, just to know, know, know her Is to love, love, love her And I do And I do And I do

Sweet dream baby Sweet dream baby Sweet dream baby How long must I dream Dream baby got me dreamin sweet dreams the whole day through Dream baby got me dreamin sweet dreams night time too I love you and Im dreaming of you but that wont do Dream baby make me stop my dreamin You can make my dreams come true Sweet dream Baby Sweet dream Baby Sweet dream Baby How long must I dream Dream baby got me dreamin sweet dreams the whole day through Dream baby got me dreamin sweet dreams night time too I love you and Im dreaming of you but that wont do Dream baby make me stop my dreamin You can make my dreams come true Aw, sweet dream baby Yeah, yeah, swee-ee-et dream baby Sweet dream baby How long must I dream Sweet dream baby Sweet dream baby Sweet dream baby

One, two, three, four It was twenty years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play Theyve been going in and out of style But theyre guaranteed to raise a smile So may I introduce to you The act youve known for all these years Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band Were Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band We hope you will enjoy the show Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band Sit back and let the evening go Sgt. Peppers Lonely, Sgt. Peppers Lonely Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band Its wonderful to be here Its certainly a thrill Youre such a lovely audience Wed like to take you home with us Wed love to take you home I dont really want to stop the show But I thought you might like to know That the singers gonna sing a song And he wants you all to sing along So let me introduce to you The one and only Billy Shears And Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band I feel it, I feel it, I feel it, oh baby now I get it, I get it, I get it Baby, free now You gotta get free now Gotta get free now Gotta get free Paul: Dont leave that. I think itll probably be another day singing it John: Yeah I just heard it, and that was fine George: Yeah, and what you could do with the bits where you cant get it cause you havent got enough breath. You just dont... Paul: Youll just take over, yeah?

The Beatles Story The Early Beatles A Collection of Beatles Oldies Hey Jude From Then to You / The Beatles Christmas Album 1962–1966 1967–1970 Rock n Roll Music Love Songs Rarities The Beatles Ballads Reel Music 20 Greatest Hits Past Masters, Volume One Past Masters, Volume Two Anthology 1 Anthology 2 Anthology 3 Yellow Submarine Songtrack 1 Let It Be... Naked Love Anthology Highlights Tomorrow Never Knows I Saw Her Standing There The Beatles Bootleg Recordings 1963

For the benefit of Mr. Kite There will be a show tonight on trampoline The Hendersons will all be there Late of Pablo-Fanques Fair, what a scene Over men and horses hoops and garters Lastly through a hogshead of real fire! In this way Mr. K. will challenge the world! The celebrated Mr. K Performs his feat on Saturday at Bishopsgate The Hendersons will dance and sing As Mr. Kite flies through the ring dont be late Messrs. K and H. assure the public Their production will be second to none And of course Henry The Horse dances the waltz! The band begins at ten to six When Mr. K. performs his tricks without a sound And Mr. H. will demonstrate Ten somersets hell undertake on solid ground ving been some days in preparation A splendid time is guaranteed for all And tonight Mr. Kite is topping the bill Yeah-yeah-yeah... Yeaahhh, yeah-yeah-yeah... Coming down fast, but Im miles above you... Yeaahhh... Tell me, tell me, tell me, cmon, tell me the answer... Do you, dont you want me to love you? Yeaahhh...

The long and winding road That leads to your door Will never disappear Ive seen that road before It always leads me here Lead me to your door The wild and windy night That the rain washed away Has left a pool of tears Crying for the day Why leave me standing here Let me know the way Many times Ive been alone And many times Ive cried Anyway youve always known The many ways Ive tried But still they lead me back To the long, winding road You left me waiting here A long, long time ago Dont keep me standing here Lead me to you door But still they lead me back To the long, winding road You left me waiting here A long, long time ago Dont leave me standing here Lead me to your door

If your lifes not right, doesnt satisfy you Dont get the breaks like some of us do Better work it out, find where youve gone wrong Better do it soon, you dont have long Get out of Sour Milk Sea You dont belong there Get back to where you should be Find out whats going on there If you want the most from everything you do In the shortest time your dreams come true In no time at all it makes you more aware Very simple process takes you there Get out of Sour Milk Sea You dont belong there Get back to where you should be Find out whats going on there Do-do-doo Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do Looking for release from limitation Theres nothing much without illumination Can fool around with every different cult Theres only one way really brings results Get out of Sour Milk Sea You dont belong there Get back to where you should be Find out whats going on there

Well the stars, always shine Youll be mine, and I know Youll be mine How they shine Youll be mine As the stars Always shine Youll be mine Youll be mine And the stars Always shine Youll be mine Now, ah, ah, ah, ah... (My darling When you brought me that toast the other morning I, I looked into you eyes And I could see that National Health eyeball And I loved you, like Ive never done Like Ive never done before!) Well the stars They shine And youll be mine Oh, you will be mine Youll be mine At the star Always shining

Is that it? Is that the end? Yeah, yeah, thats it Fade, fade! Good track Oh, well, well stop there, stop there, stop there What an end! Quiet! All right, George Fade! Hold it! Oh, thank you Fade, you silly Well, we did We did that Oh, no! No! Weve done that bit! The train comes in now We did that Yeah To prove we werent playing the record, then, you see Cause, otherwise, theres no point in you being here, is there? Ha, ha, ha! Yeah, we did that, cause it sounds just like it, dont it? Pretty cool lot of fellows, arent you? Here, Ringo, have a banana, catch!

She...!   Its the case of one awful one after another! Whats  it the case of, Mr. Martin? Take four was very good up to the breakdown... Which was take four? ...and it was very good until the end bit there when Paul did his bit that wasnt quite right   My boys are ready to go! John?   Yes? What? It is possible without affecting yourselves too much to turn down a little? Apparently theres been a complaint From who? From somebody outside the building   What are they doing here at this time of night? Its that guy What guy? The last time, he complained... Its his own fault for getting a house in such a lousy district! Well, well try it once more very loud And if we dont get it, well try it quiet like you might do it the other way Okay, the loud one, last go Last chance to be loud! Who says? Cant quite see through these now I just cant see them, they keep merging One-two-three, one-two-three I want you I want you so bad, baby I want you I want you so bad, its driving me mad Its driving me mad I want you I want you so bad I want you I want you so bad, its driving me mad Its driving me... I want you I want you so bad I want you I want you so bad, its driving me mad Its driving me mad I want you You know I want you so bad I want you I want you so bad, its driving me mad Its driving me mad Yeah! Shes so...

Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller He got hair down to his knee Got to be a joker he just do what he please He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola He say I know you, you know me One thing I can tell you is you got to be free Come together right now over me He bag production he got walrus gumboot He got Ono sideboard he one spinal cracker He got feet down below his knee Hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease Come together right now over me Right Come... He roller-coaster he got early warning He got muddy water he one mojo filter He say One and one and one is three Got to be good-looking cause hes so hard to see Come together right now over me Oh Come together Come together Come together...

Something in the way she moves Attracts me like no other lover Something in the way she woos me I dont want to leave her now You know I believe and how Somewhere in her smile she knows That I dont need no other lover Something in her style that shows me I dont want to leave her now You know I believe and how Youre asking me will my love grow I dont know, I dont know You stick around and it may show I dont know, I dont know Something in the way she knows And all I have to do is think of her Something in the things she shows me I dont want to leave her now You know I believe and how Hes a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

(Sun, sun, sun Sun, sun, sun Aaah... oooh Sun, sun, sun Sun, sun, sun Aaah... oooh) Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say its all right Little darling, its been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since its been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say its all right Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces Little darling, it seems like years since its been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say its all right Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since its been clear Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say its all right Here comes the sun, here comes the sun Its all right, its all right (Ooh... aah Ooh... aah Aah)

Hoo! Good King Wenceslas looked out On the feast of Stephen As the slow ray round about Deep and crisp and crispy Brightly show the boot last night On the mosty cruel Henry Hall and David Lloyd Betty Grable too Hello, this is John, speaking with his voice. Were all very happy to be able to talk to you like this on this little bit of plastic. This record reaches you at the end of a really gear year for us, and its all due to you. When we made our first record on Parlophone towards the end of 1962, we hoped everybody would like what had already been our type of music for several years already, but we had no idea of all the gear things in store for us. It all happened really when Please Please Me became a number one hit, and after that, well cor the blimeys, heave the mo! Our biggest thrill of the year, well, I suppose it must have been topping the bill at the London Palladium and then, only a couple of days later, being invited to take part in The Royal Variety Show This time last year, we were all dead chuffed because Love Me Do got into the top twenty, and we cant believe really that so many things have happened in between already! Just before I pass you over to Paul, Id like to say thank you to all the Beatle people who have written to me during the year and everyone who sent gifts and cards for my birthday, which Im trying to forget, in October. Id like to reply personally to everyone, but I just havent enough pens. In the meantime: Garry Crimble to you Garry Mimble to you Getty Bable, dear Christmas Happy Birthday me too This is Paul here. Everything that John said goes for me too, specially the bit about birthday cards and the parcels, cause all our homes and offices got stacks of mail last June, ow! Ha! Ha! When it was my birthday. Anyway, were all dead pleased by the way youve treated us in 1963, and well try to do everything we can to please you with the type of songs we write and record next year. Oh yeah, somebody asked us if we still like Jelly Babies. Well! We used to like them, in fact we loved them and said so in one of the papers, you see. Ever since then, weve been getting them in boxes, packets and crates. Anyway, weve gone right off Jelly Babies, you see, but we still like peppermint creams and chocolate drops and dolly mixtures and all that sort of thing Yes! Yes! Oh yes! Well, lots of people asked us what we enjoy best, you see, concerts and television or recording? We like doing stage shows cause its, you know, its great to hear an audience enjoying themselves. But the thing we like best, I think so anyway, is going into the recording studio... Yes, we enjoy that very kindly! ...to make new records, which is what weve been doing all day before we started on this special message. Well, eh, what we like to hear most is one of our songs, you know, taking shape in a recording studio, ah, one of the ones what John and I have written, and then listening to the tapes afterwards to hear how it all worked out, you see. Well, Im running over my time, and people are telling me to stop and Ringo... Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop shouting, those animals! ...so Ill finish off now with it wishing everyone Happy Crimble and a Merry New Year and especially all the ones who paid the subscription Ja, das wird uns danke schon Und denn gruss von even Ja, denn gruss von even schon Ja, das wird wunderschon, boy Danke schon Ja, Ringo! Hello, Ringo here As you know I was the last member to join The Beatles. I started to play drums in the group 1962, ha-ha-ha! Have been in a couple of other groups... Merry, Happy New Year, and folks, Happy Christmas and may, may everything you wish be granted King Wenceslas: Well, good King Wenceslas looked out On the feast of Stephen When the snow was on the ground Deep and crisp and even Hooray! Thank you, Ringo! Thank you, Ringo! Well phone you! Im George Harrison. Nobody else has said anything yet about our fan club secretaries, Ann Collingham and Bettina Rose, not to mention Freda Kelly in Liverpool. So on behalf of us all, Id just like to say a great, big thank you to Ann, Bettina and Freda for all the hard work theyve done, and we just hope you can go on pleasing you for a long time, cause its gonna, cause it to your reaction are to our records that really matters And Id just like to say: Brightly was the shone that night Though the winter cruel When a pork pie came inside Gathering winter cruel Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer Had a very shiny nose When evrybody picked it... Ha, ha, ha, ha... Oh yeah! Oh! Rudolph, the red nosed Ringo Had a very shiny nose Merry Christmas everybody!

1, 2, 3, 4 I look at you all, see the love there thats sleeping While my guitar gently weeps The problems you sow are the troubles youre reaping Still my guitar gently weeps I dont know why nobody told you How to unfold your love I dont know how someone controlled you They bought and sold you I look at the world and I notice its turning While my guitar gently weeps With every mistake, we must surely be learning Still my guitar gently weeps I dont know why you were diverted You were perverted too I dont know how you were inverted No one alerted you I look at the trouble and pain that is raging While my guitar gently weeps As Im sitting here doing nothing but aging Still my guitar gently weeps Gently weeps Still my guitar gently weeps

How do you do what you do to me? I wish I knew If I knew how you do it to me Id do it to you How do you do what you do to me? Im feeling blue Wish I knew how you do it to me But I havent a clue You give me a feeling in my heart Like an arrow piercing through it I suppose that you think youre very smart But wont you tell me how do you do it? How do you do what you do to me? I wish I knew If I knew how you do it to me Id do it to you You give me a feeling in my heart, ooh-la-la Like an arrow piercing through it I suppose that you think youre very smart But wont you tell me how do you do it? How do you do what you do to me? I wish I knew If I knew how you do it to me Id do it to you How do you do what you do to me? I wish I knew If I knew how you do it to me Id do it to you

One and one is two What am I to do Now that Im in love with you? Im hopin every day Im gonna hear you say You really make my wish come true Cant you see when Im holding you near All the things I do Show my love, and Im making it clear One and one is two One and one is two What am I to do Now that Im in love with you? Im hopin every day Im gonna hear you say You really make my wish come true Cant you see Ive loved you from the start? Dont you love me too? I love you, but youre breaking my heart If you only knew One and one is two What am I to do Now that Im in love with you? Im hopin every day Im gonna hear you say You really make my wish come true If you say that youre gonna be mine Everythings alright All the world would look so fine If youll be mine tonight One and one is two What am I to do Now that Im in love with you? Im hoping every day Im gonna hear you say You really make my wish come true

Well come on Suzy Parker, everybodys welcome to come Said come on Suzy Parker, everybodys welcome to come When you get on Suzy Parker everybody gets well done I said come on Suzy Parker, everybodys welcome to come I said come on Suzy Parker, everybodys welcome to come Yeah you come to Suzy Parker, everybody gets well done Go Suzy Go! When you get on Suzy Parker everybody gets well done Yeah come on Suzy Parker, everybodys welcome to come I said come on Suzy Parker everybodys welcome to come When you get to Suzy Parker, everybody gets well done Said go little Suzy Said go little Suzy Go little Suzy everybody gets well done

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind Possessing and caressing me Jai Guru Deva, Om Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes They call me on and on across the universe Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe Jai Guru Deva, Om Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Sounds of laughter, shades of life are ringing through my open ears Inciting and inviting me Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns It calls me on and on, across the universe Jai Guru Deva, Om Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Nothings going to change my world Jai Guru Deva Jai Guru Deva Jai Guru Deva Jai Guru Deva Jai Guru Deva Jai Guru Deva

Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me Starlight and dewdrops are awaiting thee Sounds of the rude world heard in the day Led by the moonlight have all passed away Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song List while I woo the with soft melody Gone are the cares of lifes busy throng Beautiful dreamer awake unto me Beautiful dreamer awake unto me! Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea Mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelei Over the streamlet vapors are borne Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart Een as the morn on the streamlet and sea Then will all clouds of sorrow depart Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

: Evrywhere its Christmas, Evrywhere its song. London, Paris, Rome and New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong. Oh, evrywhere its Christmas, And Im off to join the cheer! Evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year! Oh, evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year! I said that evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year! One more time now! Evrywhere its Christmas.... Orowainya, orowainya, orowainya, ooh, Endomainya, endomainya, endomainya, ooh. : Our story opens in Corsica. On the verandah is a bearded man in glasses conducting a small choir. : Orowainya, orowainya, orowainya.... Yohoo! Yodellaihetee! Yohoo! : Meanwhile, high in the Swiss Alps, two elderly Scotchmen munch on a rare cheese. : Wonderful stuff this, Agnes. : Aye, its wonderful stuff. : Hodellaihetee! Yodellaihetee! : Im standing in the entrance to the main tent. Immediately behind me, the festivities have already begun. : Tell me, are you enjoying the wine? : I am indeed your Highness. It goes well with me. : The King seems to be enjoying himself tonight! : Is there a doctor here? Is there a doctor around here? Did anybody see one? : At the same time as this, in the captains mess on board the H.M.S. Tremendous, a toast is being proposed. : To her majesty! : To her majesty! : Podgy the bear and Jasper were huddled around the unlit fire in the centre of the room. There are no more matches left, Podgy, said Jasper. Then buy some, Jasper, old friend, said Podgy. Make a list and afterwards well go to the shop and buy matches and candles and buns. Theres no more paper to write on, Podgy No need to worry, Jasper. You keep saying to yourself matches and Ill keep saying candles until we reach the shop. Then we wont need to write it down. Well remember. Wholl remember the buns, Podgy? We both will, Jasper ... Matches, Candles. Matches. Candles. Matches. Candles. Matches. Candles. Matches. Candles. : In the long dark corridors of Felpin Mansions, a door slams and the shadowy figure of Count Balder appears. The Count is the eccentric son of Baron Lndsberg, the inventor of the rack. He speaks Guten Tagen, meinen damen and herren. Welcome to Felpin Mansions. The butler will show you to your rooms. Butler! Yes, sir! Show the ladies and gentlemen to their rooms. : Come in. : May I come in? : Come, come in, Count! : May I? : Oh, yes, come in. : Ah, thank you. I was wondering if you knew any of the songs from the good ol days. : Oh, my goodness, yes. Dont you worry on that score. I hear the Baron likes, uh, I hear the Baron likes the good old tunes. : Yes, I do. : So do I, Count, so do I. But theyre all melodies, arent they? : No, dont worry. Ill play this one. Do you like this one? Listen to this one. : Please dont bring your banjo bag, I know where its been. I wasnt hardly gone a day When it became the scene. Banjos, banjos all the time, I cant forget that tune. : And if I ever see another banjo, Im going out to buy a big balloon, And if I ever see another banjo, Im going out to buy a big balloon, And if I ever see another banjo, Im going out to buy a toy balloon, And if I ever see another banjo, Im going out to buy a toy balloon, And if I ever see another bloom, Im going out to buy a toy balloon, : Yes, everywhere its Christmas. : Evrywhere its Christmas, Evrywhere its song. London, Paris, Rome and New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong. Oh, evrywhere its Christmas, And im off to join the cheer! Evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year! Oh, evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year! I said that evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year! One more time now! Evrywhere its Christmas, At the end of evry year, : Jolly good, jolly good.

Every night I cant sleep thinking of you And every little thing that you do And Im telling all my friends Im in love And Im telling the world you make me feel proud You make me want to shout out aloud So Im telling all my friends Im in love Oh, Im feeling on the top of the world Im in love with a wonderful girl Ive never felt this way before If this is love, give me more, more, more, more ...Im telling you ...thing that you do Im telling all my friends Im in love, in love Yes, Im telling all my friends Im in love, in love Im telling all my friends Im in love

Are we supposed to giggle in the solo? Yeah Okay Thisll.. This is gonna knock you out boy When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be And in my hour of darkness She is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be When all the broken hearted people Living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be But though they may be parted there is Still a chance for that to see There will be an answer, let it be Oh, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be Yeah, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be There will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be And in my hour of darkness She is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be Yeah, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be Oh, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be Yeah, oh let it be, let it be I think that was rather grand Id take one home with me Okay lets track it You bounder! You cheat!

Something, this is take 1 Are you going? Oh Something in the way she moves Attracts me like no other lover Something in the way she woos me I dont want to leave her now You know I believe and how Somewhere in her smile she knows That I dont need no other lover Something in her style that shows me I dont want to leave her now You know I believe and how Youre asking me will my love grow I dont know, I dont know You stick around and it may show I dont know, I dont know You know I love that woman of mine And I need her all of the time Now Im telling you That woman, that woman dont make me blue Something in the way she knows And all I have to do is think of her Something in the things she shows me I dont want to leave her now You know I believe and how You know I believe and how

Lay down your arms And surrender to me Lay down your arms And love me peacefully yeah Use your arms for loving me Baby, thats the way its got to be There is no reason for you to declare War on the one that loves you so So forget the other boys because my love is real Come off your battlefield Lay down your arms And love me peacefully Lay down your arms And love me tenderly yeah Use your arms to hold me tight Baby, I dont want to fight no more The weapons youre using are hurting me bad But someday youre going to see That my love for you baby, is the truest youve ever had A Soldier of Love, thats hard to be Lay down your arms And love me peacefully Lay down your arms And surrender to me yeah Use your arms to squeeze and please because Im the one that loves you so Baby, lay down your arms Baby, lay down your arms

Friends come and friends go As I go round and round In circles Love warms and love colds As I go round and round In circles He who knows does not speak He who speaks does not know And I go round in circles Life comes and life goes As we go round and round In circles He who knows does not speak He who speaks does not know As I go round in circles Life comes and love goes As we go round and round In circles

Let me tell you about a girl I know Shes my baby, and I love her so And every morning when the sun comes up She brings me coffee in my favorite cup Thats why I know, yes I know Hallelujah, I love her so When I call her on the telephone She says, Baby, Im all alone Before the time I count from one to four Shell be knocking on my door Every evening when the sun goes down And there aint nobody else around She kisses me and then she holds me tight Hey baby, everythings alright Thats why I know, yes I know Hallelujah, I love her so Hallelujah, I love her so Hallelujah, I just love that chick so

Three cool cats Three cool cats Are coming up in a beat up car Spitting up a lift of candy bar Talking on about how sharp they are Three cool cats Three cool chicks Are walking down the street Swinging their hips Splitting up a bag of potato chips I think cool cats really did flip Three cool chicks Yeah three cool chicks Well up came that first cool cat He said, Man look at that Man, do you see what I see? Well I want that middle chick I want that little chick Hey man save one chick for me Hey, well three cool chicks Three cool chicks Well they love like angels from up above And three cool cats really fell in love But three cool chicks Made three fools out of three cool cats Three cool cats Three cool cats Three cool cats

If youve got trouble Then you got less trouble than me You say youre worried You cant be as worried as me Youre quite contend to be bad With all the advantage you had over me Just because youre trouble Then dont bring your troubles to me I dont think its funny When you ask for money and things Especially when youre standing there Wearing diamond and rings You think Im soft in the head Well try someone softer instead anything Its not so funny When you know what money can bring You better leave me alone I dont need a thing from you You better take yourself home Go and count a ring or two

Tonight, Enoch Powell said, “Get out immigrants Immigrants a-better go home” Hah, hah, hah, hah Tonight, Premier Wilson said to the immigrants “You better get back to your Commonwealth homes” Yeah, yeah, yeah He said, “Ya better get back home” Now, Enoch Powell He said to the folks He said color of your skin He said he don’t care what it’s Alright So, Ted Heath said to Enoch Powell He said “You better get out Or else you’re going to trial” Enoch Powell Enoch, you better go home” So, Wilson said to “Come on boy We gotta swing We gotta go back to the summit of the hill And ” So, Enoch Powell said to Wilson, Heath “Boy, you Commonwealth” Commonwealth Commonwealth Commonwealth Commonwealth If you don’t want trouble Then you better go back to home So, I went to Pakistani I went to India I been to ol’ Calcutta And I’ve had enough of that I’m coming back To England town And dirty Enoch Powell And he’s had enough of Parliament Oh, Commonwealth Commonwealth Commonwealth Can you hear me? Commonwealth Well, there ain’t Enoch Powell Well I up to Australia I New Zealand You better come live with us We’re gonna have some fun We’re going up to India We’re going to Pakistan We’re going up to Europe and Enoch Powell He says you gotta Oh, Commonwealth Oh, Commonwealth Yeah, Commonwealth Oh, hear me talking Commonwealth Yeah, that Commonwealth But it’s much too wealthy for me Much too common for me I to Australia and New Zealand, too to Pakistan and India, too I came back to West Indies And I had a cricket match I went to , Africa Oh, Commonwealth Well, you’re much too common for me Everybody Commonwealth Yeah, Commonwealth Enoch Powell, Commonwealth Immigrants, Commonwealth Well, I would join the common market But it’s much too common for me

Wake up in the morning I dont feel blue ?Cause I know I got you Get a funny feeling all day and night I get the funny feeling you dont treat me right Should have read your letters And then Id know I would have felt much better Because I know you love me so Wake up in the morning I dont feel blue ?Cause I know I got you Get a funny feeling all day and night I get the funny feeling you dont treat me right Should have read your letters And then Id know I would have felt much better Because I know you love me so

Some other guy now, has taken my love away from me, oh now Some other guy now, has taken away my sweet desire, oh now Some other guy now, I just dont want to hold my hand, oh now Im the lonely one, as lonely as I can feel all right Some other guy now, is sipping up the honey like a yellow dog, oh now Some other guy now, has taken my love just like Im gone, oh now Some other guy now, has taken my love away from me, oh now Im the lonely one, as lonely as I can feel all right Oh oh hoho Oh yeah! Ow! Ow! Some other guy, is making me very very mad, oh now Some other guy now, is making my past seem oh so bad, oh now Some other guy now, she was the first girl I ever had, oh now Im the lonely one, as lonely as I can feel all right Oh oh hoho Im a-talking to you, right now Ow! Hey! Yeah!

The sun is fading away Thats the end of the day As the June light turns to moonlight Ill be on my way Just one kiss and Ill go Dont hide the tears that dont show As the June light turns to moonlight Ill be on my way To where the winds dont blow And golden rivers flow This way will I go They were right I was wrong True love didnt last long As the June light turns to moonlight Ill be on my way hey

Geoff Emerick: In the Life Of, Take 1 John: Dab the mic on the piano, and quite low, this, just keep it in like, maracas you know. You know those old pianos John: Okay were on. Mouth John: Sugarplum fairy, sugarplum fairy I read the news today, oh boy About a lucky man who made the grade And though the news was rather sad Well I just had to laugh I saw the photograph He blew his mind out in a car He didnt notice that the lights had changed A crowd of people stood and stared Theyd seen his face before Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords I saw a film today, oh, boy The English Army had just won the war A crowd of people turned away But I just had to look Having read the book Id love to turn you on Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty I read the news today, oh boy Four-thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire And though the holes were rather small They had to count them all Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall Id love to turn you on Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty Umm

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Dear Saturday Club Happy birthday to you Oh yeah! Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Dear Saturday Club Happy birthday to you

I, I saw a girl in my dreams And so it seems that I will love her Oh you, you are that girl in my dreams And so it seems that I will love you And I waited for your kiss Waited for the bliss Like dreamers do And I Oh Ill be there, yeah Waiting for you, you, you, you, you, you You, you came just one dream ago And now I know that I will love you Oh I knew when you first said hello Thats how I know that I will love you

Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC Didnt get to bed last night On the way the paper bag was on my knee Man I had a dreadful flight Im back in the U.S.S.R You dont know how lucky you are boy Back in the U.S.S.R Been away so long I hardly knew the place Gee its good to be back home Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case Honey disconnect the phone Im back in the U.S.S.R You dont know how lucky you are boy Back in the U.S Back in the U.S Back in the U.S.S.R Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out They leave the West behind And Moscow girls make me sing and shout That Georgias always on my mind Im back in the U.S.S.R You dont know how lucky you are boys Back in the U.S.S.R Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out They leave the West behind And Moscow girls make me sing and shout That Georgias always on my mind Show me round your snow-peaked mountains way down south Take me to your daddys farm Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out Come and keep your comrade warm Im back in the U.S.S.R You dont know how lucky you are boys Back in the U.S.S.R

Drive My Car Asked a girl what she wanted to be She said Baby, cant you see? I wanna be famous, a star of the screen But you can do something in between Baby, you can drive my car Yes, Im gonna be a star Baby, you can drive my car And maybe Ill love you Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah What Youre Doing Look, what youre doing Im feeling blue and lonely Would it be too much to ask of you What youre doing to me? You got me running and theres no fun in it Why should it be so much to ask of you What youre doing to me? The Word Its so fine, its sunshine Its the word, love Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah Beep beep-m beep beep, yeah

As I was slowly passing An orphans home one day I stopped for just a little while To watch the children play Alone a boy was standing And when I asked him why He turned with eyes that could not see And he began to cry Im nobodys child Im nobodys child Just like the flowers Im growing wild I got no mummys kisses I got no daddys smile Nobody wants me Im nobodys child No mummys arms to hold me Or sue me when I cry cos sometimes I feel so lonesome I wish that I could die Ill walk the streets of heaven Where all blinds can see And just like for the other kids It will be a home for me Im nobodys child Im nobodys child Just like the flowers Im growing wild I got no mummys kisses I got no daddys smile Nobody wants me Im nobodys child

All you need to do is say this little word I know it sounds absurd but its true The magic in the mantra will give you the answer And swallow this thats all you gotta do Everything you need is here And everything thats not here is not there And if if theres something missing in this God almighty plan Could it be you need a woman? All you need to do is say this little word I know it sounds absurd but its true The magic in the mantra will give you the answer Just swallow this thats all you gotta do Everything you need is here But everything thats not here is not there And if theres something missing in this God almighty plan Could it be you need a woman? Well all you need to do is say this little word I know it sounds absurd but its true The magic in the mantra will give you the answer And swallow this thats all you gotta do Take three times a day after every meal All you need to do is say this little word I know it sounds absurd but its true The magic in the mantra will give you the answer And swallow this thats all you gotta do

I never knew that a day like today lay before us Ive got the sun in my heart and my hearts in the sun The skys are as bright as your eyes the horizon is open Love is the ceiling feeling are reeling free as the air Forever on and forever Forever on side by side Whoever knew that we too could be free as we fancied Fancy is free but are we who are bound to each other by love To each other by love Whoever knew that we too could be free as we fancied Fancy is free but we are who are bound to each other by love To each other by love To each other by love To each other by love

Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, and I say Its all right Little darling, its been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it seems like years since its been here Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, and I say Its all right Little darling, the smiles returning to their faces Little darling, it feels like years since its been here Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say Its all right Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since its been clear Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, and I say Its all right Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, I say Its all right

You know you make me want to Shout! Click my finger! Shout! Throw my hands back! Shout! Kick my heels up! Shout! Come on now! Shout! Take it easy! Shout! Take it easy! Shout! Take it easy! Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit softer now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Hey hey hey hey! Shout! A little bit louder now Shout! Jump up and shout now! Shout! Jump up and shout now! Shout! Jump up and shout now! Shout! Everybody shout now! Shout! Everybody shout now! Shout! Everybody jump up now! Shout! Everybody jump up now! Shout! Everybody jump up now! Shout! Everybody shout now! Shout! Everybody shout now! Shout! Everybody shout now! Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout!

Coughs Take 1 Hello? Hello Picture yourself in a boat on a river With tangerine trees and marmalade skies Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly A girl with kaleidoscope eyes Cellophane flowers of yellow and green Towering over your head Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes And shes gone Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers That grow so incredibly high Newspaper taxis appear on the shore Waiting to take you away Climb in the back with your head in the clouds And youre gone Picture yourself on a train in a station With plasticine porters with looking glass ties Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile The girl with kaleidoscope eyes Paul: John, sing, uh... sing all those quicker, Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, yellow and green John: Okay Paul: Anyway John: Yeah

Id say some day Im bound to give my heart away When I do Its for you love, true love Seems to be all Im thinking of But its true Its for you They said that love was a lie Told me that I Never should try to find Somebody whod be kind Kind to only me So I just tell them theyre right Who wants a fight Tell them I quite agree Nobodyd love me Then I look at you And love comes love shows I give my heart and no one knows That I do Its for you Its for you Its for you

A friend says that your love wont mean a lot And you know that your love is all youve got At times things are so fine, and at times theyre not But when she says she loves you, that means a lot A friend says that a love is never true But you know this cant apply to you A touch can mean so much when its all youve got And when she says she loves you, that means a lot Love can be deep inside Love can be suicide Cant you see you cant hide what you feel When its real? A friend says that your love wont mean a lot But you know that your love is all youve got A touch can mean so much when its all youve got But when she says she loves you, that means a lot Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah Cant you see, yeah

Take 1! Living is easy with eyes closed Misunderstanding all you see Its getting hard to be someone But it all works out It doesnt matter much to me No one I think is in my tree I mean it must be high or low That is you cant, you know, tune in But its all right That is I think its not too bad Let me take you down Cause Im going to strawberry fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry fields forever Always know sometimes think its me But you know I know when its a dream I think I know I mean, ah yes But its all wrong That is I think I disagree Let me take you down Cause Im going to strawberry fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry fields forever Strawberry fields forever Strawberry fields forever