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derek-thomas

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AITA? My mum passed away about 2 years ago from a sudden and unexpected death. She was in her 60s. Hubs and I were very close to my mum. My parents were soul mates and married for close to 40 years. Obviously her death had an impact on the 3 of us. Pop became closer to my husband and I after her death, however, not even a year after she died, pops invited me over and asked me for advice on how to find another woman, how to ask women out, and how to date. I told him that I didn't want to see him alone but I wasn't the right person to ask since mums death was still fresh. He continued to ask me for dating advice - ignoring my answers. Hubs and I still spent a lot of time with pops and noticed that he started to buy a lot of hard liquor and alcohol. Hubs and I expressed concerns since alcoholism runs in the family and pops recently lost a sibling to the disease. He told us we didn't have to worry. Pops stopped coming over. We had a whole day plannedfor Father's Day and he never showed up. He told us he had plans with a friend that day. Pop asked hubs and I if we could house sit & take care of pets for a month while he worked in a different state. Hubs and I had to change our work schedules to do this. Shortly after house sitting began, we noticed items had been moved in the house when no one was home. The pets are not capable of moving the items. We told pops but he shrugged it off. Hubs and I noticed that pops ring camera kept going off at night and we saw him and a woman come in and out of the house in the middle of the night - yet pops kept telling us he was in a different state. Hubs and I were upset but continued to care for pets. Month later, pops called hubs& told him he wanted all of my mums things out of the house by Saturday. He confessed that he is very serious a woman and he had been seeing her secretly. Hubs told me everything my pops laid on him. We decided that it would be best if hubs went to pick up mum's things to avoid any conflict.Saturday rolled around and hubs went to pops house. Pops was mad when he realized I didn't show up. He told hubs that he can "never forgive her for the pain she caused me" and that I am nothing but "a spoiled rotten b." Hubs was shocked and tried to calm him down.Hubs told him that we knew about his gf the whole time because we watched him sneak around on the ring camera. He explained that pops was using us. Pops said we have absolutely no reason to feel that way and we are "childish and immature" for our feelings. He said he is "the victim" and we are "abusing him". He told hubs that we are "boring people with no life" and "he will never speak to us again" because of the "pain" we caused him. He is holding my mums prescious jewelry ransom until I become "best friends" with gf.Hubs and I reached out to pops many times but he refuses to have any contact with us. In fact, everyone on pops side of the family cut hubs and I out including my grandpop.

Aggravating-Corgi-22

AITA? Parent died, family cut me out.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl3ao/aita_parent_died_family_cut_me_out/

17jl3ao

My (f23) brother (m19) has autism so although he is 19 he’s more like a 10 year old. My family told him that he was too old to trick or treat but I told him I would take him because my neighborhood is accepting of teens and teal trick or treaters. Well here is my dilemma, he was excited and so I was I because I love dressing up and stuff and wanted to make him happy. But his house has bedbugs BAD. He is not very sanitary and his bed was the central hub. Long story short, my family had them a year ago and I have been going there weekly and I was curious and checked his bed before a video game sesh. Found one and flipped the mattress and it was INFESTED. I got bit on the couch and caught it on a piece of tape to show my family that there are elsewhere in the house. My family is in denial and refuse to hire an exterminator as they don’t think it’s that bad and they want to handle it themselves. But it’s bad. I got bit 3 times in one day on the couch and I had to strip my clothes and throw them away and spray my house just to prevent. I no longer want to go over there and don’t want any of them to come to my house until they hire an exterminator. As my brother is unsanitary, I told him to wash his costume, and don’t put it on until he leaves the house. But I don’t even want him to come over anymore for Halloween. Im so terrified of getting bedbugs. So WIBTAH if I told him Halloween is canceled?

ThrowRATypicalWIFE

WIBTA if I tell my brother he can no longer come trick or treat with me because my family has bedbugs.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jl804/wibta_if_i_tell_my_brother_he_can_no_longer_come/

17jl804

this is kind of a follow up to my last aita post but a quick summary; i received a promotion at my job, and my bf (who worked with me) was upset because i would be paid more, he was not told of such promotion at work, and was upset that i did not inform him until it was confirmed that i had gotten it. he has since quit the job, stating that management was terrible, he wasn't recognized for his work, and he couldn't work there any longer because of it. he gave an exit review to our area manager to explain his opinion even more, and is now out. it has been two weeks, and every conversation we have had has been him ripping into the job. i listened, and gave my opinion on it all, but it felt like i was always in the wrong because it was 'my fault'. he kept saying management is awful and doesn't give a sht about its workers, about how i was kissing a\*\* to get my promotion, and that he's so happy he left. with the slightly degrading comments towards both my job and myself i asked if we could stop talking about work, that i would like to talk about more personal things (at the beginning of our conversation it was great; we spoke about some in depth topics that were pleasant). the response he gave is that i didn't like hearing that i'm sucking up to everyone at work, or about the 'truth' over my promotion. i stated the same thing, that i just didn't want to talk about it, and he promptly said goodnight and left the chat. aita for not listening to my bf bring up his old job (my job) for every conversation we have?

_Tea_Dragon_

AITA For Wanting to Change the Subject of Our Conversation?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlbzg/aita_for_wanting_to_change_the_subject_of_our/

17jlbzg

My sister once promised my niece(11) a Labrador puppy as a reward for doing very well in school and her violin lessons. My niece did very well in both and is really excited since my sister said she's earned her reward, so I got her a book on dog care, just something for her to read while my sister works out where to get the puppy from. She told me that ideally the pup would be from rescue/shelter but she's willing to buy from a breeder. Anyways, my niece read the book and a couple of days later asked my sister what neutering is. It is an English book and while her second language English is good for her age, she didn't understand that part. My sister asked me to explain it to her but I said no, making my sister upset. She said it's my fault my niece is asking the question so I should answer, and that I wouldn't have to deal with the awkward aftermath since I don't live there so I could at least spare her from having to explain it herself.

Cliszritte

AITA for refusing to explain neutering to my niece?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlf4d/aita_for_refusing_to_explain_neutering_to_my_niece/

17jlf4d

So I won’t dwell on what happened because most average redditors will call me liar and whatever, but while I make no claims to know what happened or what caused it, the events did happen. When I was 10 a light literally as bright as day shone in me and my sisters room in the middle of the night. We ran into my parents room and their room was equally as bright. Our dogs were going insane and my dad was trying to call 911 but nothing would connect. We sat huddled in my parents bed for maybe 15 minutes and then the light went away. Maybe an hour after that people from the FBI showed up at our house, they arrested my dad and took me, my sister and my mom to live in a hotel where an armed policeman was outside are room for over a week straight. They only told us our dad was getting medical treatment and that our house was being taken care of as were our animals. Our dad came back and we moved next door to his parents in a new state and my parents never mentioned it again. My sister and and I would occasionally mention it but it just became a thing in our otherwise very normal lives. I was watching my nieces the other day and in the spirit of Halloween they asked me what the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I told them the exact story (along with more details about what life was like in the hotel) and they were pretty interested and I guess they went home and asked my sister. She called me and was furious with me. She said I knew better than to ever tell that story to anyone, much less to my 8 and 6 year old nieces. I said the story isn’t going to give them nightmares or anything she said maybe not but what’s going to happen when the ask mom and dad. I said maybe it’s time we finally get some answers anyways. Then she accused me using her kids to satisfy my stupid curiosity and I need to let this drop. She said it’s going to take a long time for her to forgive me and clicked off the call. AITA?

Working-Stress2484

AITA for telling my nieces a terrifying story from me and their mom’s (my sister) past ?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlfvv/aita_for_telling_my_nieces_a_terrifying_story/

17jlfvv

I have a 6 week old and a 3 year old. 3 will be going to Grandma's for the wedding regardless, no one needs toddler drama at a wedding. 6w is breastfed and has never been away from me longer than maybe 3 hours max, and that was with their dad. 6w will be about 9w at the time of the wedding, so still pretty little. I messaged the bride today saying I'm a bit concerned about leaving him for so long, and if its okay to bring the baby. I did say if not that's fine we will just have to leave early, or at least I will and my husband is welcome to party on if he can get a lift with a friend or something. She's seen the message and hasn't replied, and now I'm wondering AITA for asking? Should I just have organized care for baby and left early but not said anything? For context we are grooms friends, husband and groom have been friends since school, but bride and I/other partners always got along well and she's not a bridezilla at all. ETA not sure if this makes any difference to votes, but where I live it's very common for new infants to still go to child free weddings, but no children older than a few months. Also if she says no totally cool I'll make arrangements or end up staying home and hubby to go, it's not a big deal, I didn't think just asking the question would be a huge AH move, it's not like I want to bring my toddler as well, just the infant. I would obviously take them outside if they even started grumbling so there won't be a screaming child interrupting any of their moments, I'm not an idiot. 2nd ETA: Wedding was rescheduled, originally I was still going to be pregnant hence why we rsvpd yes, with the reschedule and my baby coming quite early it threw our original plans out. I can pump, it's more he doesn't do well away from me and because he's usually breastfed he may not take to a bottle well. I like the idea of having a close by location I can quickly go check on bub but also not have the bride have to explain why I have a baby at the wedding, clearing it with her first obviously. They've said they would want us both there, hence why I'm not just automatically staying home with the newborn, since that's obviously the easiest option.

hazeandgraze

AITA for asking to bring my infant to a child free wedding?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlg04/aita_for_asking_to_bring_my_infant_to_a_child/

17jlg04

I was told a month ago that testing is pointing to second cancer. First was found last year. Due to past medical history required surgery is going to be extremely high risk and may leave me with permanent disability. The oncologist has warned me if the pathology is malignant there's no question it'll be a very aggressive one. Because the operation is so risky she's ordered a full bowel workup before the major operation. My dad bought a fixer upper shortly before my first cancer was found and has been getting off on how "it's my legacy for you". Its a nice place and I even helped find it, but my chances of living more than 5 years are like 50%. Needless to say when I update him on the recent events he gets triggered and is in total denial he will probably outlive me. He tends to become argumentative that everything is fine before harping some more on the lakehouse topic. The main home finished renovation last week. He's foaming at the mouth for us to come see it finished. This trip is the first since he moved in, but all the doctors have me legit scared of the results and highly anxious. I can't deal with his extraness on top the night before without losing it. I'll also have to spend the day prior to my procedure on elephant dose laxatives for the cleanse. I told my husband I would prefer a hotel near the hospital since insurance covers it. It will be more peaceful than my dad's and I don't need to worry I'm hogging the only bathroom. It also has the benefit of being close, so less likely I'll need to find an emergency bathroom on the way to hospital that morning. We have already agreed after my procedure I'll stay one or two days at the lakehouse to recover until we know my next date...so I'm still making extra effort to see the new house. My dad says I'm the asshole for getting a hotel instead of staying at his place the night before. I've reminded him insurance is paying it and the booking wasn't refundable. Still not OK. He wants me to see the house first, not my husband who will take our dogs to the lakehouse after dropping me at the hotel. (The dogs weren't originally coming but an artic front dropped temps below 25) He definitely doesn't understand why I need quiet zen to process all my feels and poop in private.

Petty-Penelope

AITA for getting a hotel

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlgex/aita_for_getting_a_hotel/

17jlgex

I (29F) went out to celebrate a bday dinner with my husband (28M) today. My birthday was earlier in the week but we both had tonight free and dropped the baby off with grandparents. My husband is always hard to please when it comes to restaurants. He critiques everything, is never satisfied with the food, thinks everything is too expensive, “you could make this better at home” etc. Today we went to a mediterranean restaurant and he is from a mediterranean country. He started complaining about how its a crime to charge $9 for olives and things like that and how he hates going to mediterranean restaurants because they are overpriced and its food he can eat at home. i immediately got upset and my attitude shifted. i tried to get over it so that i can enjoy my birthday dinner but he spoiled it. the food came, he said i make it better at home but “we can definetly come back” we eventually did get over things and lightened our mood on the way home but before i went to bed i told him how i felt. he got offended and said he will never speak again and that its not bad manners to speak on how overpriced things are and he even said he’d go back and his food was good. aita?

FSAHMWGAD

AITA for telling my husband he ruined my birthday dinner?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jljxe/aita_for_telling_my_husband_he_ruined_my_birthday/

17jljxe

I (44M) have shared custody of my sons (16M, 12M) and I’m in charge of their allowance. Last month I had to leave them for the night for a quick work trip and - shocker! - my eldest invited some of his friends over for a house party. I was clueless about that. When he didn’t answer my texts (too busy partying with his friends), I texted my youngest; he covered for his brother and lied to me that they were alone and watching a movie. They did clean well enough not to leave any major mess behind when I came back, but I found out anyway because the condo I live in is very strict about noise after 10pm and I received a fine for breaching this rule. I confronted my sons and they admitted to it. I told them I would split the fine between the two of them and take it out of their allowance. My eldest asked me not to punish his brother because the party was his idea and his friends were the ones invited. Also my youngest was counting on his next allowance to buy a ticket to an event (some pop culture thing, like Comic Con) he wants to go to. I’m proud of my eldest for taking responsibility but for now sticking to my decision to split the debt between them because my youngest lied to me and, in covering for his brother, allowed the party to happen without my consent. AITA?

NossaBova08

AITA for cutting off my youngest son’s allowance for covering for his brother?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlk2k/aita_for_cutting_off_my_youngest_sons_allowance/

17jlk2k

When I graduated high school in 2020, my parents had given me 2 months to figure out whether I wanted to go to college, or work. I chose to go and work at our local Home Depot down the street, making $12/hr. Everything is within walking distance from our house, as was this job. After about a year of working at Home Depot, my parents had decided it was time for me to get a car. They had gone and found a car for $9000 even after I had stated that I didn't feel I needed a car at that moment, and since I was only working part-time, I didn't want an unnecessary car payment. I didn't have much money to put down on the car, as much of my money at the time had gone towards food and such. We did end up buying the car, my parents signing with $800, I with $400. The car payment ended up being in the lower $200s/month with the insurance also being about the same around $190 (2012 car), and me being 18 at the time. Note that I was in fact paying for both the car payment and the insurance on this car I didn't really need. A few months passed and I was able to land a full time job at another company and make some more money. Since I had gotten a decent pay increase, I let my parents know that I could take on the light bill for the house, not knowing the actual cost. It's at this point I should clarify that my mother was making around $130k +bonuses around this time, and my dad is retired. The light bill comes in the mail next month, and the bill comes out to $503, just for that month. I didn't know that this was the average price and it would continue to waver between $400 to upwards of $750 a month, just for the light bill. After 2 years of this, I realized I was very much overpaying (I didn't know the normal price for my area was actually \~$100 - $150),so I stopped paying for the car insurance, as it was taken out of my parents' account, and I had always sent them money to pay. I ended up getting a promotion on my job, and I am going to have to move south. I need to be able to afford rent and the payments for my new car I bought for when I go down there (I got this car for Uber and to have enough room to not need to rent a truck when I move). My parents requested that I back pay them for the insurance that I had stopped paying about a year and a half ago, however I believe that the back pay should be voided by how much money I lost from overpaying for the light bill for 2 and a half years at this point. After talking to the company, we found out our rate was more than 3 times the normal rate at the time, at 25 cents/KwH. After doing the math, I found that I ended up overpaying way more for the light bill ($4000) than they want me to backpay for the car insurance ($2000). I'm not seeking backpay, and legally, the car is in their name, not mine. Should I do the morally correct thing, or should I not and let them know that I need everything I can to move and live on my own?

Swiffjuice

WIBTA For not back paying my parents for car insurance?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlkqt/wibta_for_not_back_paying_my_parents_for_car/

17jlkqt

For some context I (28M) and my wife, Claire(25F) are expecting. Claire is currently 8 months pregnant, our son being expected to be born in November 2023. This isn't our first pregnancy though. Claire got pregnant 2years ago, but the day our daughter was born, she passed away. This crushed us both mentally, especially for my wife. Well I have a sister, Hanna(19F), who for better words, lacks sympathy. Our parents always try to defend her, and try to say she 'has a dark sense of humor' but this time, she took it too far. We were at a family gathering yesterday and it all went well, until the topic of the pregnancy came up, everybody was asking how Claire was and some of females (like my aunts, grandmother, mom) were asking about the birthing plan when my sister says, while laughing "Let's hope this baby isnt like the last." Talking about mine and Claire's daughter. I completely lost it I started screaming at Hanna, telling her that was completely rude of her, and that if she ever says stuff like that again she wouldn't be able to ever even see our son. Hanna started crying while Claire was already crying. My dad took me away from my sister and I got yelled at for making Hanna cry over a 'joke' and I ruined the gathering. AITA? (I will admit I may have been harsh will threatening to not let Hanna see my son but this isn't the first time she made a joke like that)

Routine_Gap7886

AITA for 'Ruining the Family Gathering' over a 'joke' my sister made?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jll4n/aita_for_ruining_the_family_gathering_over_a_joke/

17jll4n

Hello English isn’t my first language so I am sorry for any bad english. I haven’t done it yet but I am planning to do it. I have a friend F24 who I haven’t been friend for a long time but we have grown really close and she’s kind of like my best friend. She’s a really kind hearted and sensitive person who has never dated before in her life Cus she’s the kind of person who will never go for something casual and is looking for her perfect person. Now I have a really close friend M 25 who I have been my friend for the last 6 years. He approached her through me and they started dating. Now he revealed to me that he’s just playing with her and is also dating 2 other girls even though he told her that he’s serious and she believes him. He told me this because he’s not aware of how close of a friend she is to me. Now I wanna tell the girl his true motives because I don’t wanna see her ruin her life because she has gone through a lot in her life and has some mental issues. But by telling her I’ll ruin my friendship with my male friend Any advice will be appreciated.

freesoul0710

AITA for revealing my friend’s motives to his girlfriend who’s also my best friend ?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlmub/aita_for_revealing_my_friends_motives_to_his/

17jlmub

Throwaway account. So basically I am a transgender male (18) and my father (46) has been strange about this. He tells me that I don’t need to label myself as transgender and that I should just be myself. I told him in response to this that I want to take pride in my identity and that it’s a little rude to get pronouns wrong on purpose which is something he does, to which he replied, “you lgbtq people always get so mad when we get it wrong. You yell at us”. I don’t yell at him but I also don’t know his perspective. He then asked me what he is if I’m trans. I told him that it depends, and I told him that if he identifies as a male, then he is classified as cis. He said no, I’m a man. He sounded proud of this. After a while he told me he was going to go and look for pink stuff in his closet because “he’s trans too”. He’s not. I feel bad because what if he actually is? Anyway, am I the asshole?

Amitheassholelmk

AITA for disagreeing with my dad?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlobx/aita_for_disagreeing_with_my_dad/

17jlobx

I (44M) have shared custody of my sons (16M, 12M) and I’m in charge of their allowance. Last month I had to leave them for the night for a quick work trip and - shocker! - my eldest invited some of his friends over for a house party. I was clueless about that. When he didn’t answer my texts (too busy partying with his friends), I texted my youngest; he covered for his brother and lied to me that they were alone and watching a movie. They did clean well enough not to leave any mess behind when I came back, but I found out anyway because the condo I live in is very strict about noise after 10pm and I received a fine for breaching this rule. I confronted my sons and they admitted to it. I told then I would share the fine between the two of them and take it out of their allowance. My eldest asked me not to punish his brother because the party was his idea and his friends were the ones invited; he asked me to take everything out of his allowance. Also my youngest was counting on his next allowance to buy a ticket to an event (some pop culture thing, like Comic Con) he wants to go to. I’m proud of my eldest for taking responsibility but for now sticking to my decision to split the debt between them because my youngest lied to me and, in covering for his brother, allowed the party to happen without my consent. AITA?

NossaBova08

AITA for equally punishing my sons even though my eldest wants to take the blame?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlou3/aita_for_equally_punishing_my_sons_even_though_my/

17jlou3

For a bit of background, my paternal aunt and her husband neither came from a privileged background. Her family still resides with my grandparents to this day. We were pretty close since I was a kid but ever since my mom died, things shifted. My dad was always at work and it was just me with my two younger siblings. At first, it was just her visiting unannounced. I didn't mind because she would bring me food and I would confide with her most of the time. Later on, I had a feeling that the free food and consolation she brings gave her the entitlement as if our house was also hers. My dad pointed out that we were being too close, but I shrugged this off. However, she started bringing her whole family including her husband and two kids without anyone in this house knowing that they were gonna come. We didn't even had the chance to open the gate and the door for them because they already invited themselves in. They would spend the entire day from morning until night, lounging in our living room and cooking in our kitchen using the ingredients in our pantry. I asked my dad, the owner of the house, every time if they asked for his permission, he always says no. This spanned for two years, btw. One of her kids is severely autistic. He's around 5 to 7 years old and requires constant attention but they just let him wander free in our house. The problem is that my cousin barges into each room and jump on the bed, leaving him unattended most of the time. It's either my aunt is busy cleaning up for the kid's mess, her husband distracted on the TV, or they're both just lounging. I have set my ground rules for my personal space (Not sitting on my bed with outside clothes and not bringing food) and my immediate family, who lives in this house, respects it. I don't understand how anyone outside won't be able to grasp that. My aunt insisted to let my cousin in because he should be given consideration since he's special. I just came up that my room is a mess and I have a project going on. Already told my dad about it and he said she would be devastated if we assert our boundaries. I took matters into my own hands that whenever they come over, I would lock my door. Doing this didn't stop them, they continued peeking through my window as a result. My aunt picked this up and started ignoring me. Whenever I'm present, she would just embarrass me. This went on for months but I didn't mind. Suddenly, walking home, I bumped into her on the street and she talked to me like it was nothing. I kept walking not knowing that she followed me home, visibly mad. I was able to lock myself in my room before she started banging the door and asking me to come out. My dad thinks I'm the AH for disrespecting her since she's older. AITA? Edit: Thanks everyone for your help. To correct - I lock my door and go outside to spend time with them. Sometimes, not as much because I have other plans for the day such as finishing my school works so I don't have to cram it later. I just feel like they have no regard of our individual schedule for them to spontaneously show up every time.

Playful-Ad-4150

AITA for not wanting my aunt and her family to come into our house unannounced? And for not letting her autistic kid inside my room?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlpjf/aita_for_not_wanting_my_aunt_and_her_family_to/

17jlpjf

I (30f) started living with my boyfriend (36m) about a year and a half ago. Things have been pretty good except for this one thing. I know its not a huge problem but it is definitely something that annoys me. Basically, I am not ever allowed to just do the laundry when I feel like it. I will run out of clothes after about a week and a day, and this is when I would like to wash everything. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is super anal about it. He wants to always make sure he washes what he is wearing that same day before starting the laundry himself. This means I'm not ever allowed to just wash the clothes because he will get upset that he wasn't able to throw in what he was wearing that day. When he washes clothes he never asks me if it's okay to wash it, yet he expects me to always ask him. I've talked to him about this before and about it bothering me, but he just said 'ok'. It annoys me because there are so many times when I've gone along with his wishes and I'd ask him if we can do laundry that day. He'll say yeah sure I'll do it later. And he just never starts the laundry. And this can go on for 2 or 3 days which pisses me off because I have to start pulling dirty clothes from the hamper to use again. Well today I just took everything and washed the clothes. He came home and asked me if im washing, which I said yes and he said 'wtf I wanted to wash this' as he motioned to what he was wearing. I told him I ran out of clothes to wear. I also told him I never complain to him when he does laundry whenever he wants, and that I have the right to do it whenever I want too. He said I'm selfish and inconsiderate and has been moody the rest of the night. So, aita?

ThrowRA_accountz

AITA for doing the laundry without asking my bf first?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlq1f/aita_for_doing_the_laundry_without_asking_my_bf/

17jlq1f

This is really trivial, but I'm really uncomfortable with it. So, I (17M) just moved to another country a few months ago and entered a new school there. That's how I met someone (16M) who is also from my community. As we came from a non-English speaking country, we were placed in ESL classes. As time goes by, my teacher looked upon my English skill and decided to move my class to more advanced class. My friend, seeing that I moved on, also wanted to move in so he has the same class with me. When I was in the ESL class, everything goes fine with me and him But when he moved to the same class with me later, I feel a bit more uncomfortable. Firstly, he sat in someone's else chair so he can sit near me. This was fault because I didn't warn him about how he sat in someone's else chair. It's too late anyways to ask him to move chair, and this results in that someone move to another chair. Secondly, he always put his foot in my chair's stretcher, and that makes me a lot uncomfortable. I don't have the gut to ask him to not do that, but I always give reaction as if I'm uncomfortable to realize him that I'm not okay with it. He sometimes is aware of it, but still doit anyways. Thirdly, he always asks for me for my answer in the class. This is probably the problem, while he is able to survive in the class, he still struggles with his English. I think he will do better if he still in ESL class. This might be too trivial, but I think this uncomfortability exists because I just don't fit in with my friend and his group. Sometimes I feel to be hypocritical as I leave him as a friend, but it seems that he doesn't even care when I approach him as a friend. So, AITA for wanting to stay away from him in the class?

Commercial_Goals

AITA for wanting to leave my friend behind in school?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jlxe8/aita_for_wanting_to_leave_my_friend_behind_in/

17jlxe8

I (44m) walked through a buddy’s home buddy and his wife. Later, alone with my wife (41f) on a walk, we discussed their family. The guys is a construction worker, is a good and present dad of 3 kids already, and works late every night after he helps puts kids to bed, and works on a complete gut and remodel of thier home which he AND his wife, who is 8mo the pregnant, are doing together. So they are definitely in it together. My wife is notoriously (and we do have a past disagreement that is unresolved, I’ll admit), snippy with me doing things she doesn’t appreciate or want me to pursue (like own agenda, interests, long/medium term ideals/wishful dreams.) So as we were talking about the friend couple my wife mentions that her friend was so great to let her husband go hunting last weekend. I stopped her and said she doesn’t really “let” her husband (or anybody except maybe 3 kids) go hunting or pursue self care things like hunting. She said he hasn’t hunted but has been super into hunting “how to” videos online. I said that the wife shouldn’t “let” her husband go hunting. He’s already doing a ton. Including helping with kids, working, staying up late to upgrade thier house, living in the garage,etc. My wife walked away mad and said, “she is 8 months pregnant”. I agree that is an important detail to the story. It leaves her with 3 kids and potential early delivery alone. So it is a biggie too on her part. So “letting” her husband out for the weekend is a sacrifice for them both. My wife said that he has so much more to do on the house before the baby comes (I kind of respect that, but they IMHO have drywall, kitchen, baths, cabinets) to do and so he has months of work, and not 1 month of work. For me, I’m glad they have a relationship where they are likely coordinating, and she respects his goals and needs to get away, and he respects her need (and his) for a remodeled and larger house especially since they are growing. So, am I the A -h for picking a fight with my wife? We are working on “compromise” through marriage therapy. I was truly sad that my wife “let’s” people do things. I have a personal bone to pick (admittedly) from past hurts, and my wife is diagnosed defensive with even sideways imperfections in her relationship skills.

lyonsguy

AITA - pointing out that we don’t “let” each other go hunting (or take time off).

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jly7h/aita_pointing_out_that_we_dont_let_each_other_go/

17jly7h

I (M23) was living with a close friend and his wife for about a good three months due to needing a place to stay (long story). To preface I wasn’t exactly close to his wife, but I respected her given they were married. Him and I were much closer although we didn’t know each other for long it felt like we did. They are both quite religious and have their own beliefs due to this, one being abortions should be illegal. Most people who know me understand how I feel about children and the idea of having children. One day whilst we were out for a drive around the city he asked me a question that we’ve had a few discussions about here and there. That questing being: “Redbolt, what would you do if a girl called or texted you right now and told you she was pregnant with your baby?” I told him that same answer as usual. “A: Ask her if she wants to keep it or not. If not I will send her money to have an abortion. B: Immediately give over parental rights.” I have never seen myself to be one to take care of a child due to already having my fill of doing so (those with younger siblings will understand.) Now I am not one to tell others what they can and cannot do with their own bodies, but I will say that I know for a fact I am not a person who could properly care for a child especially how I used to be. This caused the car to go silent and he told me to be quiet. I could hear her sniffling and crying. I sat in the back seat confused as to why she was crying as I didn’t say anything to hurt her. Am I the asshole for making her cry about something that had nothing to do with her?

RedBolt3622

AITA for making my friend’s wife cry?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jm0p3/aita_for_making_my_friends_wife_cry/

17jm0p3

For a little context, I live with three roommates in college. Our living situation is pretty mutual, we all pitch in a contribute to keeping the apartment tidy and sometimes will cook for each other. The four of us moved in as friends (sort of) however there's been a pretty wide bias when it comes to how they relate to me versus each other. In a nutshell they're huge anime / weaboo nerds, and share a discord group chat where they send each other memes about it daily. I don't like getting my phone blown up a dozen times a day with pictures of anime girls so I keep their group chat on mute. I've openly admitted to this, explaining that I don't really understand the jokes because it's not something that I watch. (Not to mention I find much of it kind of perverted and gross yet haven't said that to them). Even still, I'm the only one with a car so I'll take them grocery shopping on the weekends and try to devise entertaining ways for us to get out of the house from time to time. We were supposed to visit a graveyard this weekend, but skipped that after we saw some funerals / events going on there. Well, later that night I posted in the group chat about going to the movies on Halloween and got completely ignored by the three of them. My message stayed unread for about an hour, then the follow up messages posted were about some game they've been playing. This has happened before, another time when I posted a message asking about the laundry machine. I've got my own friends back home that I talk to on a regular basis so I don't necessarily feel all to devastated over it, though not gonna lie - it felt like a real slap in the face especially since I'd taken them grocery shopping earlier that day. I've decided at this point I'm going to use Halloween as my own day, and treat myself. Also maybe start holding back on the grocery rides and demand gas a little more often. They can stay in the apartment and talk about anime for all I care. Or is better communication recommended in this case?

Adept_Sheepherder422

WIBTA to Not Include My Roommates on My Halloween Plans?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jm4cn/wibta_to_not_include_my_roommates_on_my_halloween/

17jm4cn

I (17F) am a Senior in high school, with a feind grouo of about six people For the past three years,my friends have spent Halloween together, however, I havent been there for any of the past Halloweens. Anyways, one of my friends, Joey, (17M) has a girlfriend (17F) who does not like me. She doesn't like me because Joey and I were previously romantically involved, so she chooses not to be around me. And when she is around me, she complains the whole time. Now, I had previously said that I wasn't going to be attending Halloween with my friends this year. I was invited, but I chose not to go. Because I chose not to go, Joey decided to invite his girlfriend. Now, closer to Halloween, I went back on my decision only because I wanted to spend my Senior Halloween with my friends for once. Joey, hearing this, texts me privately and asks if I am going. I say I am not sure, and he indicates that if I go, he will not go. He says he will not go because his girlfriend doesnt want him to hang out near me. I suggest to him that he should spend Halloween with his girlfriend if it would be a bother for me to be there while they are both there. He tells me he would feel miserable hanging with his girlfriend alone if his friends are somewhere else having fun. I tell him that sucks. He then texts another of my friends, saying that he feels as though his Senior Halloween is ruined. AITA?

natalieisrad

AITA for wanting to hang out with my friends on Halloween?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jm4k0/aita_for_wanting_to_hang_out_with_my_friends_on/

17jm4k0

For context my roommate doesn’t have a spine when it comes to her grandparents. She just doesn’t know how to say no, and they use her for free to cheap labor around there house, and most infamously sending us all there unwanted food which 7/10 is expired. This pawning off of food onto us happens frequently that it is expected and even joked about in my apartment. Sometimes that it’s not expired it’s decent food, so there is an upside. Would I be the asshole if as a prank I had my roommate give them some old sprinkles no one in this house likes, along with some salt we hate? I mean I am coming from place of some malice since they never check the expectation dates and it annoying to deal with, and it’s food we won’t eat….WIBTA? ETD: let me clear something up: 1. I’m not trying to give expired food, these sprinkles were bought a few months ago. The grandparents in question are about 69 and 72 years old, and that even the grandparents refer to it as fringe clearing. Also I do agree and know that this is definitely a petty thing on my part. Also that some of these expired foods are actually unsafe to eat, and were almost consumed before we noticed the mold.

ACuriousZombie

AITA For sending unwanted food to my roommates grandparents who give us expired food?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jm4ws/aita_for_sending_unwanted_food_to_my_roommates/

17jm4ws

I (16M) have an older sister (20F) who moved out of our house with our parents back in summer of 2021. After that I was next in line to get my own bedroom hence forth I got that room she moved out of. She ended up leaving a shelving unit and and art supplies cart and said, "anything left is all yours and you can do whatever you want with it and said she would come back for a box of nail supplies (this box matters I promise)." A few times since then she has come back asking if I still had certain items because she needs them for certain things, each time saying she will be back for those nail supplies. But this time was my last straw. I'm in the midst of packing all of her belongs that are still in this room into boxes as I am typing this. My mom believes that I am in the right to put my foot down and either tell her that all this stuff is mine now or to pack it up and just give it to her. She even thought of it as give her all of her junk for a Christmas present but I didn't want to go that far. But I don't know if I am being to mean about this or not, or if I should just let her keep coming back if she needs something from what she used to own. So WIBTA?

Anonymous_9607

WIBTA For giving my sister all of her juck from her old room?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jm4zw/wibta_for_giving_my_sister_all_of_her_juck_from/

17jm4zw

I (21F) have a friend (20F) who is VERY into Taylor Swift. With her recent tour, we both tried to get tickets, but couldnt. However, I kept looking, and was able to find some for close to face. Last year was a really rough year for me, I had a lot of bad shit happen and I was not in a good place, and she was there for me even when it was inconvenient for her to be, so I got the tickets and wrote her a card, and made her a personalized ticket souvenir with the details on it and a note telling her how grateful I was for her. I mailed it and told her to call me when she got it. I didn’t mail the actual tickets but I explained on the back of the souvenir I’d made, and told her many times to call me before she opened it. She had no idea what was inside. It got there, but she was in the middle of finals when she got it and said she didn’t have time; understandable. Then she brushed me off after finals. I try not bother her and her bf but I have family where the venue is and wanted to plan for this, and was excited for her to open it. So it had been over a week, and I was feeling down about her not opening it. The next night I’m about to go to bed and I get a message from her. It’s a picture of the souvenir I made edited to say things like “stupid bitch” in the name spot and “Bitch Swift” on top. I try to call and she’s blocked me. Her bf sent me a message saying “what you did was really fucked up” and blocks me too. I’m so confused, and ask why. I try to contact her but it isn’t going through so I go to bed. I wake up to her messaging me about what a shitty person I am, and her calling me names and bringing up every grievance she has ever had, and even makes up things (or just misremembered idk. For example, she mentioned a time her bf took us and my roommate to dinner and the two of us ran up the bill. We went to an AYCE place he picked and no one got special items. I also offered to pay.) Im not saying I’m perfect but the things she was saying were not true or out of context. I told her some of this, and saw that she said “supposed tickets”. I asked what she meant, and she said the thing I sent was some “laminate shit” and I was horrible for playing like its real when I knew how important this concert was to her. She said she opened it as soon as she got it and just didn’t call. Instead of asking me to clarify, she thought they were fake and that I did this on purpose. So this was revenge. I told her that it was a souvenir for the real thing since mailing would be unsafe, and that I wanted her to call so that I could’ve answered questions. I then sent her a screen recording of the tickets and told her that I was sorry if I had ever made her feel like that but she never said anything and wed been talking for a year like it was fine. After she saw the video she didn’t say anything else. I don’t want to go with her anymore, WIBTA for taking my cousin instead?

natgochickielover

WIBTA for giving someone else a concert ticket that was supposed to go to a friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jm6ct/wibta_for_giving_someone_else_a_concert_ticket/

17jm6ct

My husband graduated from his university in 2019 and he has been in touch with all his friends since. His friends visit us all the time (most of them are couples now; either married or dating since several years). I love having them around BUT this time one of his female friends who is single has decided to come visit us and stay at our place for the weekend. It is not as though she self invited; my husband has been asking her to come over since a while and when I said I was uncomfortable with the idea of her staying with us after his marriage he says I am the irrational one and most wives would be ok with this. Am I really being irrational here or he is trying to prove me so?

Finding-The-Light

AITA if I get upset when my husband’s girl friend visits?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmakl/aita_if_i_get_upset_when_my_husbands_girl_friend/

17jmakl

Last week, I (22F) had this man (23F) over at my apartment, and we were making out/ getting physical. At this point, I could feel myself getting panicky (We were also high at this point). I had experienced an assault in the past when I was in high school, and sometimes physicality takes me a minute. I explained this to him, albeit in a little panicked way, and he handled it very well, thanked me for telling him, etc. I told him that if that is too much for him to be dealing with, that I would get it and that I'm giving him an out. I told him to think about it and he said he would. This was last Sunday at like 5 pm. I don't hear anything from him on Monday and all day Tuesday. Tuesday night, I messaged him and asked when he could talk. We spoke on the phone on Wednesday. I know my feelings aren't his responsibility, but I was feeling super anxious after I told him because it was really vulnerable. I was pretty on edge the days in between. When we spoke on Wednesday, I told him that while I know he doesn't owe me anything and that I know it was a lot to handle, but that it felt unfair that he didn't say anything for 4 days (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and it was now Wednesday). He retorts back that it had only been two days, and then breaks down what he was doing in the days in between (i.e. work, was out, needed time to process) to explain his silence. Ultimately, he ended things with me—which is totally understandable, it is a lot to handle, and he couldn't make the emotional investment—but I just can't move past whether or not I was the asshole for opening our call with an accusation that was arguable slightly incorrect. I literally do not know who is wrong here, if anyone. AITA?

AbjectEfficiency5497

AITA for how I handled this situation with a man I was seeing

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmavz/aita_for_how_i_handled_this_situation_with_a_man/

17jmavz

I (20F) and my fiancé (24M) have been attending a church for a while. On a particular Sunday a new guy came. We can call him B (30M) we got to know him and he was a pretty cool guy. The more we hung out with him, the more we got to know his situation and why he moved. Fast forward, my fiancé and him became good friends he told us that his fiancé and her son (23F and 8M) were moving here. B said we would like her and can become good friends. Our first interaction after meeting her was awkward. This could be because she just relocated and didn’t know us. A few weeks back I had gifted B a hat and B’s fiancé a purse for when she arrived. I would like to add that since I’ve met B’s fiancé I had a feeling in my gut. The type of feeling where you know to have your guard up. We then had a beach day. Naturally upon seeing us B came to hang out with us. B’s fiancé was with him as well. The gifts were brought up and B’s fiancé never said thank you. This might just be me but if I’m gifting someone expensive gifts I would expect a thank you. I shrugged it off as nothing and B’s fiancé never talked to me. I didn’t want to force a convo so I kept my distance. A few weeks later my fiancé, B, B’s fiancé and I went out and something I noticed was that when I would talk to B his fiancé would get right in between the both of us. I didn’t pay much attention to this until my fiancé pointed it out. I thought maybe she was insecure but I have my fiancé who I’ve been with for over 3 years. I didn’t see how I might be a threat. We started seeing them less. We understand that he has a family here. Recently my parents invited them over. I was carrying a Louis Vuitton bag when B’s fiancé says “Let me see your bag, I remember seeing something where if the stitching isn’t yellow it’s not real” I hand her my bag and of course the stitching is yellow. For reference I have an LV nano speedy. That comment seemed unnecessary. Later that night we went bowling and my fiancé was paying for everyone including her kid. I heard her say to B, “I want a pizza but I don’t want to share with everyone” I turned around a let her know that my fiancé was paying for the package pizza, drinks, shoes, and 2 hours of bowling. We came back to my house after. I then notice that she was looking up my bags price. B then said “Dang your bag is expensive” Maybe this was just an innocent comment but I didn’t appreciate the fact that they were looking up how much my things cost. B has always made comments saying how blessed we are to be able to afford nice things or live comfortably. The next Sunday I said hi to them and didn’t speak to them after that. Since then I spoke with my fiancé and let him know that they have been making me uncomfortable. I let him know that he can hang out with B. However I will not be around. I simply don’t want to be near B or B’s fiancé.She has continued to give me a certain feeling in my gut and I just don’t like it.

IntelligentMap7028

AITAH for cutting off someone over a gut feeling

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmbml/aitah_for_cutting_off_someone_over_a_gut_feeling/

17jmbml

I, 18F (17 at the time) was lent a 3 diamond necklace and earrings for prom by my mother, 40F. I was lent the jewelry in June of 2023 for my Senior Prom. After prom I came home and placed the jewelry in a special mug of mine making a mental note to give it back to my mom. Fast forward almost 5 months later I had completely forgotten about my mothers jewelry and she asked me for it back. I searched my room top and bottom for her jewelry that was in my mug. The mug was gifted to me by my boyfriend for our 2 year anniversary so it was something i’d never throw away. Since I had borrowed the jewelry so long ago I completely forgotten about it and my mom never brought it up until now. My parents have always told me growing up that the second I let someone else use my stuff and it’s damaged or lost, it is on me for letting them use it. As a kid, I wouldn’t let my sister borrow my hoodies or use my tablet because she was very careless. She had broken my tablet once and I was the one who got in trouble because I let her use it. When my mom lent me the jewelry I thought this rule would follow. I did not ask for it, I accepted wearing it because she insisted. I know that I would never throw away that mug or forget the jewelry that is in there. Both the mug and jewelry are gone. I told my mom that it’s been 5 months and I don’t know where it is. I didn’t notice it was gone because i’m hardly home. I also mentioned the rule that once you lend it to someone it is your fault if it gets damaged or lost. My mother said that is not the case here and I am to replace her necklace and earrings to which my dad laughed in my face and said good luck trying to afford it. I can, but all of mine and my boyfriends saving’s would be completely gone. We’re saving for our baby to make sure we have everything they need. I told my Mom, that I am not paying for it. Because it is her jewelry a family rule changes?Everything is about money and I don’t want them to be mad at me or cut communication with me. P.S I am a people pleaser and would 100% would give in if it wasn’t for the fact that I am pregnant and mine and my boyfriends entire life savings would be gone.

None

AITA for refusing to pay for jewelry I lost?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmc4a/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_jewelry_i_lost/

17jmc4a

I, 18M had sex with my 22M brothers best friend 22M. I'll refer to my brothers friend as X, but basically this started 1 months ago when i matched with X on a dating app. i was reluctant at first to respond to his messages but after looking at his pictures i couldn't help myself. he is 6 foot and he was fairly muscular but not too muscular.. i hope vk what i mean but anyways he was attractive and totally my type. I noticed who it was right away but messaged him back by saying hi, basically what he said it that he recently broke up with his girlfriend and he was looking for a one night stand. My 18yr old self saw this hot man and instantly agreed. i don't wanna get too much into it but we did it in a walmart parking in his red truck.. and it was the best thing ever and exactly what i imagined from a guy this tall, and let me say he knew what he was doing. he came twice and he basically threw my out of his car after he used me. my shirt still in his car as he drove away, i got in my car and drove to my house where me, my parents, and my brother live. I figured that my brother and X stopped talking as he hasn't been over in a long time, and this was not usual for him. but as sunday rolled around my family was having people over to watch football and i thought nothing of it. but i saw the same red truck X had driven to the walmart parking lot a few days before. as i see him walk to the house i see a girl get out of his car and ¡ immediately recognized her as X's gf of almost 2 years. i run up to my room and i think about what happened, i hear X greet the people at the door and i hear his girlfriend talk to my mom and X talking to my brother. i come downstairs and X looks at me and then he look at his girlfriend, he start to panic seeing me. i was also becoming extremely nervous about seeing him and ran back into my room. i hear footsteps coming upstairs and i see X looking at me as i sit in my bed panicking, he tell a me that he had fun and i look at him and tell him that he cheated. he says that he really didn't care and he says he would do it all again. his concern left his body and he told me he wanted to do it again.. and that i had done something his girlfriend couldn't. and after hear this i couldn't help myself, we had sex for the second time but this time on my bed. he put his hand over my mouth and made sure that i wasn't being loud, and this made the experience even more exciting. i couldn't believe this was real and it honestly felt like a dream. it's been a month since then and we only hook up one more time at the c walmart as before. it's almost 12:30 and he messaged V at 12 asking if we could do it again. someone help me.. In gaining sex with my brother friend and helping him cheat on his girlfriend..

Ancient_Amphibian261

AITA for doing it with me brothers best friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmc8l/aita_for_doing_it_with_me_brothers_best_friend/

17jmc8l

I recently moved into a new neighbourhood that seems to have an abnormally high number of dog owners. I work from home and have a street-facing office in front of a window, which means I can see all pedestrians as they walk past. Every day, probably 20-30 dog walkers pass by with their dogs, and many of them stop and pee on my lawn and/or garden bed. It really irks me and I have noticed in particular, one dog owner. He is a teenage kid with a Great Dane and a border collie, both of which he walks off leash (this is legal in my city). Every single time, his dogs wander all the way up my lawn, often so that they're closer to the house than to the sidewalk. They almost always take a pee on my rose bushes and on the lawn, and often one or both will stop and poop. This morning, the kid was walking by and both his dogs pee. His Great Dane then begins squatting to poop, so I decide to come out and confront him. I start yelling at him, telling him to get his dogs off my lawn. He was quite upset, and tried to explain to me that he didn't realise it was wrong. He told me that most people in the neighbourhood have dogs, and they are mostly all fine with dogs on their lawn as long as the poop is cleaned up. He says he makes sure they don't pee on visibly well kept gardens or ornaments (mailboxes, pot plants, etc.) and says that since there is no nature strip it's really the only place for them to go. He said he'd be happy to avoid my house in future, as he recalls them when passing houses with signs as well. I think he was quite shaken by my confrontation. AITA for telling him off? I feel that it might be the neighbourhood norm and in that case I'm the asshole, but surely it's not normal to tolerate dogs toileting over your yard? Edit: He, and all the other owners, all pick up their dog's poop. Haven't had a problem with that before.

PieceMajestic9715

AITA for yelling at a dog owner for letting their dogs pee and poop on my lawn?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmcni/aita_for_yelling_at_a_dog_owner_for_letting_their/

17jmcni

I (33F) have a kid Ethan (13M) with my ex Jason (34M). I had Ethan when I was only 18 so I was a young mother. It was a tough time in my life but I made it out. When Ethan was born Jason was there right next to me. He's an amazing dad. So here's the deal... Me and Jason have been co-parating for several years. And it's an amazing schedule. We have it so I have Ethan one week and Jason has him another. We live In the same area so Ethan goes to the same school. Now Jason makes way more then me. He has a stable job and he owns his own home etc. But I am working three jobs and still struggle to make ends meet but i always pull through. Recently Ethan had been coming to my house in a bad and disrespectful mood. Saying how he wants to go back to his dad's and how he hates being here. I live in a one bedroom apartment so I can get why he might like it better there. But his attitude was a shock to me. I had a talk to him about his actions and attitude and he told me that he hated it here because its small and theres nothing to do, i got mad at him and i grounded him. I had raised his to be better so I have no idea were this is coming from. This had been going on for weeks. Where he would come back to my home and disrespect me. I had multiple talks with him and his father about his behavior. And I couldn't put up with it anymore I talked with jason one weeked about just giving Ethan to him full time. And he got very mad at me he started screaming at me and calling me a "bad mother" and that i have no right to just do that to him. I screamed right back at him, i told him how i didnt want him in the first place and he would be better off with him because I couldn't give Ethan the life he wants. Jason told me if I really wanted to do that to Ethan then fine but if I wanted contact with Ethan in the future that I couldn't. So here i am waiting to see my son for the last time before i give him up. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I just want my son to have a better life and to grow up in a nice home. And I know that I won't be able to give that to him. So AITAH?

Healthy_Response4329

AITAH for signing away my parenting rights.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmdg1/aitah_for_signing_away_my_parenting_rights/

17jmdg1

After work me and my coworkers will hang out for about 20 minutes before leaving. We were having a conversation about what happens after this life. I mentioned that nothingness after life is what I believe happens and that the thought to me is terrifying. One of my coworkers (we will call her Jessica) said "Well it sounds like you haven't been through a lot of pain in life. For those of us who have been through pain you know what that sounds like? Peace." She's done this once before. I dont remember the conversation but she specificly pointed out that she is convinced I haven't been through a lot of pain in life. Not that pain is a competition but I have been through much pain and to be told I haven't is very insulting. I felt highly insulted and it hasnt left my mind since then. I really don't know what her obsession with me not having been through a lot of pain in life. Anyways this time I told her "Fuck you do not ever tell me that bullshit again. I dont know what your obsession is with this. But do not fucking say that again". She started getting defensive and stormed out. The other coworkers seemed nuetral about it. I don't know whether I was right or wrong for saying this. On the one hand it's pretty assholish to make a bullshit assumption like that. I say this because she has no idea of knowing whether I have or have not been through a lot of pain in life. I have and it is very offensive snd condescending to be told by a coworker who knows next to nothing about me that I havent. On the other hand maybe I should have just bottled it up and not say anything for the sake of keeping the peace. A part of me wonders if she's jealous of me and believing that I havent been through pain makes her feel better about herself? Personally I predict you guys are gonna give an "ESH" verdict. I could be wrong

Over_Basil9841

AITA for telling my coworker "F*** you"?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmhh7/aita_for_telling_my_coworker_f_you/

17jmhh7

I was smart all of my life and then went to college, where I got some B's in classes and gave up on my intended career path. I changed majors and got into another career path, where I was paid well. However, that career had very low WLB and stressed me out. It made me grieve the loss of my first career path, and even more so when I moved to a new city for work and met someone 20 years older who succeeded at that path and had everything I wanted in terms of looks and dating life. Now my fucking support system is telling me to go seek grief therapy when I don't need it. I just need tutors to help me achieve my original goals because I'm not too stupid.

Loud-Vacation8349

AITA for telling my support system I do not need therapy?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmjt6/aita_for_telling_my_support_system_i_do_not_need/

17jmjt6

Forgive my poor English, it's my third language so i struggle a bit. I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (34f) for a year and a half now. He has a daughter Sophie (10f) (fake alias for the sake of post) and she's an adorable little doll full of life. I really love her. But ever since i fought with my bf he has been distant with me and wouldn't let me spend much time with Sophie, which breaks my heart. So, before we officially started dating, I had told him that a person involving themselves too much with their ex is a deal breaker for me. As long as their interactions with their ex were limited to things related to co-parenting it was fine with me. He agreed with all of this, and we eventually started dating. Things were going completely fine, he and his ex never contacted each other unless it was anything related to Sophie. It was going all good till a couple of days ago. Sophie has been mentioning a lot that she wanted to go to an amusement park but neither of her parents ever got enough time in their schedules except Sundays. Bf even on Sunday attends various on-call meetings. So after long, gruelling months both the ex and my bf eventually got a couple of holidays due to oncoming festivals. And that's when they hatched a plan, that was to take Sophie to amusement park together. That way it ensures Sophie got to enjoy her trip with both her parents. I didn't like the plan. I perceive such trips as very intimate way to bond with one another. I immediately let him know my feelings about their plan. At first he thought I was just joking and when I confirmed that wasn't a case, he went quiet. I offered to tag along with them, pay for the tickets and my own food and even give them some space in the amusement park, I would have gone on rides and restaurants on my own. After I said that my bf yelled at me which really shocked me. This was the first time he had raised his volume this loud. We fought occasionally but never has he ever been this mad. He accused me of suspecting him of cheating, which wasn't even in my mind. As I had mentioned before, trips felt like an intimate bonding and hence I was not comfortable to have my bf around my ex alone with only Sophie. We got into a huge fight and it ended up with him calling out the plan, and he again accused me of ruining the whole trip for all of them, especially Sophie. And now, since the fight we haven't even talked properly, he doesn't bring Sophie around anymore as frequently as he use to. And whatever few times i get to see her, she doesn't talk much with me either. I feel very hurt and things just seem to be falling apart. At times I even feel like it's my own fault, my own useless insecurities that things have gotten to this point. ETA: By "intimate bonding" i didn't mean them bonding as a couple. I only meant it as a family bonding. Sorry for not using the appropriate word.

Cautious-Source859

AITA for not letting my boyfriend on a trip with his daughter and ex

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmk7v/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_on_a_trip_with/

17jmk7v

I (20M) was supposed to be going out clubbing with 2 of my friends (Dan 20M) (Matt 19M). The plans changed from (this town to this town) this annoyed me of course and I orginally wasn't planning on going out. My mate (Dan) is dating his ex again who gave him a false (fill in the blank as I can't mention it on this sub) allegation. He sends me a snap of him and her on the train and I message Matt and say "thank fuck I'm not going if his girl is with him". Matt messages Dan and says what I say. Then Dan's girl (Amy 19F) goes on Dan's phone and starts piping up. Starts sending threats and all that. then she says to me "there's a reason he's with me now shut up" and I say to her "yeah idk why, it baffles me that he's going out with someone who faked an allegation towards him." Dan starts getting touchy, starts yapping at me on the phone "How could you say stuff like that? you're a horrible friend. You're supposed to be supportive". Matt now says he wants me out with them. Can you guess why? Just so I'm entertainment for some beef while they're drunk. Amy sends threats about coming to my house and says "I better f\*cking see you tonight or you're finished." So I go, mainly cos I don't want her coming to my house. I bring another friend with me (Max 19M). Dan and Matt are there egging (encouraging) on Amy to hit me while me and her are arguing. She tries to swing and I swipe her arm away and just say "I'm going home." She was easily screaming at me for 20 minutes. Max goes to Dan and says "so you wouldn't defend him if Amy tried to hit him? You just think it's f\*cking funny?" Max gets in an argument with him, Dan storms off with Amy. Matt is just watching and giggling. I'm a really shy and non confrontational person. I just kinda let Amy scream at me. Dan says to me "I never wanna see you again man, you're fake asf" Anyways I walk off with Max. I just sit down by this empty building and just start crying my eyes out. Easily the hardest in years. I lost a friend of 18 years and a friend of 11 years because of a girl. I'm so tired of being treated like this. I see it as not being able to handle the truth. He then messages me asking where I am and I just ignore him. I walk home for 2 hours and when I'm back I see they've both blocked me. This happened about 5 days ago. Earlier today Matt unblocked me and said I'm an asshole for trying to jeopardise Dan's relationship. I say to him "I was just looking out for him." I have doubts about whether or not I did the right thing by confronting them and want to apologise for ever bringing it up. AITA?

Plzzrd

AITA for calling out my friend on his BS?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmlnv/aita_for_calling_out_my_friend_on_his_bs/

17jmlnv

So D(26f) has been besties with T(23f) for a couple years who also happens to be my(23f) best friend of about 6-7 years. I never had any beef with D other than a weird vibe that she never liked me… Last month T asked D to be her girlfriend and she said yes. It was cool I fully supported, as a member of the LGBTQ+ family myself and what I thought was a friend. So T took her ex fiancé of 2 years B(32m) back. I guess D didn’t want to have a poly relationship after T had already said she’s gonna be with B regardless. Then T took a break from social media for a month and didn’t talk to anyone. During that time D hadn’t made any effort to call, text, show up to T’s house, nothing. All of a sudden D calls me and a new friend, that had left the group once before for causing issues. She asks for advice bc she doesn’t know how to tell T she doesn’t wanna be with her if she’s with B but then after the call she says not to say anything. T is basically my sister. So I ask T but in a way it sounds as if I’m checking in on her and asking her how she feels about it all since they haven’t talked and she says she doesn’t know but she’s summing they aren’t together unless D says something about it. I say oh okay and tell D what T say and she’s cool with it till a couple days later after she hangs out with the new friend C and all of a sudden after T texts the group chat that she’s changing her socials and phone number, (T didn’t know about D’s feelings yet). D calls me yelling at me saying I shouldn’t have said anything and that I need to stop lying and talking shit about people behind their back. I haven’t don’t any of those other than checking on T. I would’ve asked even if D hadn’t said anything bc she had already told me she hadn’t talked to D that whole time. So AITA for checking on basically my sister?

No_Hamster6373

AITA for checking in on my best friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmr3l/aita_for_checking_in_on_my_best_friend/

17jmr3l

Up until recently, I was a Masters student doing research under a tenured professor at the university I did my undergraduate studies in. I have been working with him for the last 18 months but our professional relationship deteriorated to the point where I jumped ship. My main grievances * We had a design problem and I devised an, admittedly crude, solution that solved the problem and had empirical data to back up this data. He responded with "Your solution is not at a graduate level, an undergraduate student could have come up with this solution." * We had another design problem and I suggested to talk to my second committee member (which he approved of) to help. He said not to because he wanted to keep his research secret (it was not a government project). We were stuck on this design problem for 2 months. Over which he questioned my effort and asking why it was taking so long. * For a problem, I gave a potential answer based on the class I took with my second committee member. He shot it down and said "do it my way". When we finally got a face to face meeting with my second committee member, he basically asked why on earth are we doing it my supervisor's way and confirmed that my math was correct. * I once emailed him after a major breakthrough in our project. His response? "Let's talk about it when we meet this week and please stop emailing me so much". I went through my sent folder and the last time I initiated an email chain was 3 weeks before, all of my other emails were responses to his questions At a certain point, I was so fed up so I started sending out resumes. I got an interview and the job some time later. I soon gave my notice of withdrawal from the university which caught him off guard. Here's where I may be the AH- I know that my supervisor gets funding but the requirement is to have a graduate student assisting him. By leaving in the middle of the term, he does not have a chance to take in a new graduate student (intake is at the start of the next term) and he will not meet the December deadline and lose that portion of the grant money. I have refused to give him live tutorials of how to work my software solutions. I have given him a comprehensive readme document and knowing that he glosses over things and doesn't read things carefully, he will struggle and will set him back even further. TL;DR My thesis supervisor has treated me (in my opinion) with disrespect and condescension. I have been applying for jobs behind his back and recently got hired and submitted my withdrawal from the program in the middle of the term. In doing so, he cannot get a new grad student and will lose research funding as he no longer has anybody working on the project. AITA?

ThrowRAShoresyCube

AITA for quitting on my thesis supervisor at the last possible minute forcing him to lose his grant proposal

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmrz3/aita_for_quitting_on_my_thesis_supervisor_at_the/

17jmrz3

I (15f) have a not so normal family and for anyone wondering why a 15 year old is using reddit or making such a post well I really don't know I just want some advice. So a little backstory from earlier, on Wednesday me and my family went on a trip and there my mother caught my father talking to his mistress (we all knew about her but no one can do anything) my mother was angry and confronted him at that exact moment to which he denied everything and made up a story then and there whilst also deleting his phone records. And later on he started ignoring me and my mother (he was also drunk that night). Fast forward to yesterday I got sick and had fever, my father later on in the evening asked me what was my body temperature and to that I jokingly replied that it was 105°C and he also jokingly replied that if that was the case then I would've been dead already. My mother got upset at this and told my father that even as a joke he shouldn't say things like this. Later that night my fever got worse and I had to be checked every hour because after taking medicine my fever would subside for a while and then come back again. My father blamed it on my phone and did not ask or say anything to me and my mother thought this was stupid. In the morning I woke up to my mother asking my father that he should get me checked up as considering my past experiences with fever which had only led to me getting jaundice or typhoid or malaria. My father laughed it off and said no after that I fell asleep again. Woke up to my mother and father fighting and my father screaming that it would've been better if we both (mumma and me) died. My mother was furious and screamed that obviously he would want us dead so that he can live with his mistress. After that my father got a call from one of his workers telling him that they suffered a loss and my mother being furious from earlier started clapping and told him that this was the result of him treating us like that. My father got mad at her and started hitting her (this is a very common experience as he's abusive to both me and my mother) and screamed that no way in hell was he ever going to get me checked up. I started ignoring him and I was very upset (even cried a little) and my grandmother told me that I was an a-hole for being like this and supporting my mother while ignoring my father. She even told me to suck it up as it was my father but I don't know.

okayidkirealllydont

AITA for ignoring my father?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmtbg/aita_for_ignoring_my_father/

17jmtbg

So, here's the situation. My roommate David (24M) and me had been living together for about a year now this isnt the first time i had accidentally eating his leftovers... But I had apologized everytime i did. He always forgave me and I still was dumb enough to accidentally do it again... but this time i had so idea i was doind it. So and hour prior to the incident i had takes some weed edibles. They didnt start kicking in till an hour after i had eaten them. And you guessed it i git the munchies. So i went to the kitchen and my roommate had some delicious-looking leftovers in the fridge, and I was feeling hungry. Without realizing it, I ended up eating his food thinking it was mine. When my roommate found out, he were really upset and felt like I had invaded his personal space once again. He had confronted me about it, and I apologized profusely for my mistake. However, he's still really angry with me and it's causing tension in our living situation. Am I the A**hole for accidentally eating my roommate's leftovers?

IndependenceOld8142

AITAH for accidentally eating my roommate's leftovers?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmvgj/aitah_for_accidentally_eating_my_roommates/

17jmvgj

I (22) had to take a step back from school because of financial/health reasons. I attended a university for a bit and was able to establish a friend group. I moved back home, 5+ hours away. A couple months ago, I spontaneously decided to visit. One of my close friends from home recently transferred to that university. It’s his first semester. I planned to see both my friend from home and my other friends. They have never met each other. When I got there, most of my friends were still in class, so we planned to have a late dinner. That way, I could spend time with the whole friend group. While I waited for them, I visited my friend from home, we talked and walked around for an hour. I then had dinner with all my friends and we even hung out after at one of their apartments. I was only there for 15 hours before I had to leave. I’m planning another visit soon and I found out that one of my friends is mad at me because I didn’t spend one on one time with her. I was confused bc just last month she came to my city and I spent the whole day with her and her other friends. She didn’t mention anything to me at all even in instances when we were alone. They also called me a week ago when they had a get together. Apparently, that night, she told the rest of my friend group that she didn’t want to talk me and was mad at me. She said something about my other friend but i’m not sure what. It wasn’t my intention to hurt her feelings or to put my other friend over them. They don’t know each other and in my head, it made the most sense to separate my time that way. Overall, I spent most of my time with my friend group than with my friend. My other friends said they didn’t mind but it seems like my friend is really upset about it. At this point, her anger has been festering for a while and I’m unsure how to address it. It also doesn’t help that she didn’t tell me and I found out through another friend. So, AITA?

No_Addendum_456

AITA for not spending one on one time with one of my friends

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmx61/aita_for_not_spending_one_on_one_time_with_one_of/

17jmx61

Today's my 21st bday and I planned a party where all my friends would all get together and play videogames all night long. I posted all the meetup's details on all of social media a couple weeks before it started, and we got a list going of who was planning to show up. My best friend has been busy with college for quite a while now, so I wasn't surprised when he wasn't acknowledging the party plans much at all, we have only been occasionally sending each other messages to check on each other. Everyone I expected to come made it and we had a great time... until my best friend messaged me, clearly upset. He said I made no effort to let him know it was my birthday or that I was throwing a party, and he told me to not talk to him again for a while. I told him that I treated him with the same amount of fairness, time, and respect I gave to all my other friends, but he didn't seem to care. Am I the asshole? I refused to let the situation ruin what had been such a good day, but I have this lingering guilt feeling that I can't shake off and I'm not sure if I should apologize or give him some space.

Masked_Katz

AITA for starting my bday party today without directly notifying my best friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jmxa2/aita_for_starting_my_bday_party_today_without/

17jmxa2

We used to spend everyday in school together and also hang out on our free time but when we went to different schools we sort of lost touch. We would try to schedule hanging out, sometimes by my initiative sometimes by hers. I would usually say could you meet up at x day? And she wouldn’t respond. (And then a month or so later she would initiate contact again and apologise) Or respond the day of with that she couldn’t and that she would see which day worked better for her with out coming back to me. I had patience with her because she would be embarrassed once we met up and apologise for being bad at responding. I can also at times be bad at answering texts/planning stuff so I was understanding but at the end I was starting to think she was rude because she was wasting my time and it felt disrespectful. The nail in the coffin was when she basically ghosted me. She texted she would get back to me once she checked her schedule and that was in 2018 lol and I’ve haven’t heard from her since. I felt the ball was in her court and I was tired of her behaviour. I was thinking maybe she didn’t want to be friends anymore so I left it there. It was sad and I felt like I wasn’t good enough because she had new friends from her new school that she would hang out with. But I also thought you know maybe they have to drag her to make plans as well and if not people outgrow each other and that’s ok. Now we still follow each other on Instagram. She had a baby a year ago and then I dm:d her and congratulated her. She was friendly and I was too. I recently got engaged and not a word or like from her. It feels so drastic to unfollow someone so at first I didn’t but now every time I see her post I just feel reminded of the sadness that I felt years ago. It’s fun to see her daughter/her life but now I feel like I want to unfollow her because the weird feelings that pops up when I see her on there. WIBTA?

Neither-Expert9697

WIBTA? Unfollowing old friend on Instagram

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jn0mp/wibta_unfollowing_old_friend_on_instagram/

17jn0mp

So i have a 16-year-old daughter who really wanted to go to a party last weekend. I had said no the fist time because her grade are declineing and i dont reward bad grades with stuff. Going out is a privilege and she knows this. She begged and pleaded with me to let her go, but I ultimately said no. I know she was really upset and felt like I was being too strict. Now she's mad at me and won't talk to me. Am I the A**hole for not letting her go to the party?!

Extreme_Yak4572

AITAH for not letting my teenager go to a party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17jn5yk/aitah_for_not_letting_my_teenager_go_to_a_party/

17jn5yk

My father died 8 years ago. He was in his 60s and unwell so whilst the timing was sudden the death wasn't totally a surprise. My mother likes to share on Facebook at every opportunity that her husband/my father has passed away by referring to him as (name) RIP (ddmmyyyy) which I find tasteless. Today was the 8th anniversary of his passing and I was tagged in a Facebook update about it. I have the option to choose what is published on my page and chose not to share this, partly because I have moved company so many people don't know my father passed and I don't need any sympathy. My mother later messaged me saying she was disappointed I hadn't shared the 8 years anniversary update on Facebook. I said its because I'm a private person and don't want to share. Am I the ahole for not following her desire to court other people's sympathy for something that happened 8 years ago when I'm comfortable with the situation?

Interesting-Sir-2946

AITA for not publicly sharing the anniversary of my fathers death on social media

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lpn3j/aita_for_not_publicly_sharing_the_anniversary_of/

17lpn3j

I [35M] was walking and pushing my 8 month old child in a stroller and crossing the street in the crosswalk on a green light/walk sign when a bicyclist went through their red light without slowing down in the least bit. I don’t ride bikes, personally I don’t really care if bikes want to go through red lights, but I expect they should at least stop and pause first. Now I happen to live in a place where people are regularly shot for confronting people breaking into cars/stealing catalytic converters/honking at someone that cuts them off so 99% I do what most people here do and STFU and mind my own business which is pretty much the expected behavior. In this case though, dude was in his 60s and on an expensive bicycle and I didn’t get a “this dude will shoot me over this” feeling so as he went through we had the following exchange: Me: points to light “that’s a red light, sir” Cyclist: “thank you, sir” Me: “that means stop, sir” Cyclist: turns around to give a middle finger Me, now louder: “this is a baby in a stroller that you almost hit” Cyclist: “f*ck you, f*uck you!” I’m pretty sure I’m not the ahole here, but there’s times when I find myself clearly in the wrong and usually say something along the lines of “sorry, my bad” - the fact that dude so escalated it made me wonder if I missed something here. So tell me …. Should I have just kept to myself? AITA?

Matth6163

AITA for confronting a bicyclist?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lpnje/aita_for_confronting_a_bicyclist/

17lpnje

I don’t mind that he plays, he always has, but he can get a bit obsessive. We are supposed to be working on our relationship. I have explained how I feel more alone when he is with me, and we have been in therapy to try and work on our communication. Am I asking too much for him to at least look up and say hello when I come home, and put down the controller?! If I mention it, he gets defensive and says I’m overreacting.

Alternative-Mud3689

AITA for not wanting my husband to play video games when I’m home?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lprom/aita_for_not_wanting_my_husband_to_play_video/

17lprom

I’m 20f, I am a single mom and have a 3 year old son. Basically for halloween I wore a slutty version of little red riding hood. I had a corset and a short skirt, and fish nets. It showed a lot of skin, but I’m young so whatever. I dressed my son as the wolf. One of the houses we were trick or treating at the woman gave me weird looks but I was like whatever a prude, but when we stopped by my sons aunts house she had the same reaction. She said I shouldn’t wear that while out trick or treating with children around, and that i shouldn’t wear that with my son. I said I’m a grown woman, and I could wear what I want; she agreed but said it was super weird my son was in a matching costume with me dressed like that. We got into a little argument and she basically said she was questioning my parenting skills. Aita?

Significant_Fix7376

AITA for wearing a slutty costume trick or treating with my son

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqco2/aita_for_wearing_a_slutty_costume_trick_or/

17lqco2

Me (17M) and my friend (18F) recently went to the movies and we were both really excited. Before I say anything, I want to make it clear that I have autism. We both do. So I’ve been friends with this girl for a few years, and she’s really nice. So me and her planned on going to the movies one night and the experience was great, the only thing was the hand flapping. Whenever she got excited during some of the scenes, she would start shaking and flapping her hands and shake both of our seats. And the thing is, seeing things constantly moving or shaking triggers something in me. But I don’t wanna be rude so I tried to just ignore it. It wasn’t until the credits started playing and a specific song she liked starting playing and she yelled "OH MY GOD!" out loud to where everyone could hear it, and she started flapping her hands and shaking like crazy. That’s when I told her to calm down and she shushed me and continued to do what she was doing. I wanted to leave so bad because I felt embarrassed. The movie experience was great, but I kept getting distracted by the constant movements she was doing and it kind of ruined my vibe.

MrBigButtonz

AITA for being uncomfortable with my friend flapping her hands during the movies?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqegf/aita_for_being_uncomfortable_with_my_friend/

17lqegf

So my GF(20) and I(23) have been together for about a year, we’ve moved in together fairly early in the relationship, I make good money and she was going to school so I proposed she could move into a place with me and I would cover all the rent and food and whatnot so she could focus on saving to pay for school with as little debt as possible. Here’s where the issue begins, we decided to host a Halloween party for my friend group (after going to one with hers) and everything was going well until I told her I would pick up snacks and pizzas for everyone and they could just bring their own liquor. My GF insisted that we do it potluck style so as to not have me paying for all the snacks and food, I dismissed this and told her it really wasn’t a problem cause it’s a once a year get together kinda thing and we can ask one of them to host next year. She then tells me that I shouldn’t make decisions like that without talking to her cause it affects our financial situation (which it does not) I then assured her that everything is still getting paid no problem and remind her that I’ve already sent her 200$ so she can treat herself a little more without feeling guilty about using her school money. I told her not to worry about the money side of things which upset her more and started saying she didn’t even want them over anymore. AITA For context I am in no way in control of any of her finances and purely just pay all the bills and give her money when I can to help out more. I am not bitter about paying the bills and will continue to do so as it was something I proposed when we were making plans to move in because I want to help her achieve her goals. Edit: My reasoning for not doing a potluck is because I had already told my friends I would provide food and my GF wanting to change to a potluck is very last minute which I don’t think my friends could accommodate. The money I gave my GF was well before any of this occurred. Edit 2: My GF has a part time job that gives her some money but most of it goes towards schooling.

Sully375

AITA for thinking providing food at our Halloween get together isn’t a big deal

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqesy/aita_for_thinking_providing_food_at_our_halloween/

17lqesy

I (M18) decided I wanted to spend this Halloween, unlike the past 18 Halloweens I was present for, partying and having a good time. As it turns out, the local gay bar had zero cover that night and as a result my broke ass - and my broke friend - could waltz in for free. I'm pretty cute so I'd know liquor wouldn't be an issue. I scraped up the necessary bus fare to get there, had a great time, and came home at like, 5 in the fucking morning. My mother is pissed, and believes it was a morally wrong thing to do, as I am currently unemployed and she "has to work while [I'm] out partying." Do keep in mind, I had an under-the-table job drywalling with my aunt and her fiance working alongside my broke friend. Neither of us have been paid, and it's currently a situation. I also have a potential job doing snow removal, but I'm waiting on precipitation to come in for any actual work to come into the equation. My mother doesn't know, and I refuse to tell her because there's a (very suspicious) correlation between me being employed and my mother needing large quantities of money for "bills" which I am not permitted to see. Do also keep in mind I do my best to clean the house and keep it maintained while I am not working, and I do not actively refuse to seek out work. My mother would obviously know that.

Left-Reporter-1194

AITA for going out and partying on Halloween?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqhpq/aita_for_going_out_and_partying_on_halloween/

17lqhpq

My daughter(6) is an only child and the first grandchild on both sides. As such, she typically wants for nothing and has an impressive collection of toys. When my daughter gets angry there is often times no talking to her until she calms down. Normally when she is angry she will go to her room and isolate herself until she calms down. Unfortunately, yesterday she opted for something else. Her toys were all over the living room and I had been telling her all day that she would need to clean them up before bed. When it came time to clean, she completely lost it. She screamed at me and hit, bit, and scratched me. I warned her several times that if she continues the behavior I would throw her toys away. She escalated her behavior so I packed up half of her toys and put them in the garage where she wouldn’t notice them. I told her she could earn her toys back with good behavior and keeping her space clean by the end of the day. When her grandparents found out that I did this they say that I am overreacting and traumatizing her. AITA?

ConcertKind8448

AITA for “throwing away” my daughters toys?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqids/aita_for_throwing_away_my_daughters_toys/

17lqids

I (17F) have a friend at school (17F) whose feet have a strong odor. You can smell her feet when you're sitting at the same table with her, walking beside her, or just staying near her. Our classmates are aware of this, and some of them make jokes and rude "comments" about it. I'm not sure if my friend is aware of this, but I suspect she might be, as she doesn't acknowledge it. Even our homeroom teacher mentioned a hygiene issue during a parent-teacher meeting in our first year of high school, without naming the student. This confused me until my mom explained it a few days later. During conversations, my friend often mentions that she showered the night before or washed her hair. During a school field trip, her feet didn't smell on the bus and the first day. However, in our hotel room on the first night, she went to take a shower, changed her clothes, but her socks remained the same. I noticed this because she accidentally stepped on a piece of gum on the bus floor, which was still stuck to her sock. We fell into a friend group with a different class, and they are more her friends than mine. As I mentioned earlier, she has a very strong smell, and they probably have noticed it, but they are not saying anything about it. My dilemma is whether to tell her about the issue with her feet or leave it be. I want to avoid hurting her feelings in any way. (I'm sorry If I made mistakes English isn't my first language)

Ash_by_8

WIBTA If I told my friend that her feet smell very bad

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqvuk/wibta_if_i_told_my_friend_that_her_feet_smell/

17lqvuk

This is a throwaway. English is not my first language A little background, I (30F) have a verified food critic account by one of the biggest platforms in my country (Not US), they only give verification for authentic, real reviews. I received my verification badge after visiting more than 600 restaurants. It was a long authentication process where my account was inspected for any fraudulent reviews. Now on to the story: The company I worked at full time, had to shutdown so I was left unemployed and burning through my savings. I was invited to a bday party in a secluded location for my close friend "Nay" (29F). The restaurant required an expensive entrance fee which I had to pay out of pocket, I had to account for gas as it is far from my house (about a 40 minutes drive to the mountain, I live on the coast) & I was required to pay extra for parking which didn't make sense to me. Seeing as I paid for the restaurant myself and I hadn't been eating out for a while now, I considered the restaurant as any of my usual visits and I decided to post a review, which was based on food quality, taste, service, cleanliness and vibe. I left an honest review of 2 stars based on personal experience. Smoking was allowed indoor illegally. The food was really bad and overall, it was a bad experience, I included pictures, and a detailed explanation. I also mentioned the unnecessary parking fee. My review left Nay & her BF Jaque really upset, as they discovered the review when the restaurant owner called them to request that I remove it as it was showing on top because it s a verified account. I explained that the delete option is non existent & I'm not willing to change my 2 star review to a 5 star as this would not be credible & I can loose my verification badge. Nay & I had a huge argument, where she ended up calling me a selfish bi\*ch & asked her friends to bombard me with hateful messages. She even sent me screenshots of her whtsp group where she gave them my socials and number to harass me enough to remove my review. She said I'm a cheapskate for complaining about the entrance fee & parking when it was her bday party. (It wasn't an exclusive private party, it was just a bunch of people she knew hanging out). So I reminded her that the only reason I went, despite not having enough money to pay, was just because we're close friends and my review was based on my opinion. The restaurant was trending because of how many people have left me hateful messages, enough for the actual platform to remove all comments & keep my review up with a disabled comment section. So everyone on reddit, AITA for leaving a review when I attended the party?

Whenitthunders

AITA for reviewing a restaurant when invited to a friend's "Birthday Party"?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqw1u/aita_for_reviewing_a_restaurant_when_invited_to_a/

17lqw1u

My husband, "Logan," has an attitude toward gift-giving occasions that can be described as perfectly normal. He doesn't insist on getting anything extravagant, and he objects to overspending. He likes and appreciates thoughtfully selected gifts, experiences, and acts of services. I have no problem accommodating this, although I tend to add some inexpensive "extras" to his real gift, like a book that might interest him or a favorite snack. Altogether he might get three or four items in total from me, but I never spend more than $200 or $300. I'm a different story. Logan has never forgotten my birthday and indicated a willingness to get anything I want, as long as it isn't completely ridiculous. But I don't want anything. At all. From anyone. Ever. If I could erase my birthday from everyone's memory, I would. I don't even want our two-year-old son to know that I have one. (Why? I just don't like being the center of attention for arbitrary reasons. I need to have accomplished something before I can be comfortable as a focal point, and surviving another year without committing any felonies isn't good enough.) Logan knows my hangup about presents, and he knows about love languages. He usually gets me something anyway, but it's quite small. The result is that birthdays in our house are always lopsided. I'm fine with this, because I feel like each of us is getting exactly what we want. He feels bad that he's not doing more. I keep reminding him that he's only doing what I ask, but he feels bad anyway. I sometimes wonder if social pressure on men when it comes to women's birthdays has more of an impact on his feelings than my explicit wishes. Am I overthinking this? I can't just go with the flow on birthdays; my nature simply won't allow it.

JessonBI89

AITA for how I want to handle birthday gifts in my house?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqybv/aita_for_how_i_want_to_handle_birthday_gifts_in/

17lqybv

Our kid is 3 and went trick or treating. Early on, I heard him yell at a door, “I want candy”. When he came back, I knelt down to his level and very calmly said those weren’t nice words. Told him what to say instead, had him repeat it back, good to go. Later he did the same thing, Tried the approach again. Few minutes, same thing again, so I said his name sharply and repeated the coaching again. A few minutes later, the fourth time. I finger wagged and told him that if he does it again, we’re going home. My wife said “you won’t do that” and I told her I most certainly would. Fast forward, no more of the behaviour, we have a good night overall. Tonight, I just get home and sit and she wants to talk about it and immediately starts by saying I came on too strong. I walked back through approach the first time and getting louder and direct each time before finally giving a consequence. I explained this is my interpretation of gentle parenting. I’m not going to get on about using nice words in a bubbly voice 15 times, I felt I needed to provide a real consequence and then follow through. Positive reinforcement at play… removing the thing creating the bad behaviour. She admitted to overthinking while also saying it feels like I never analyze anything I do. I explained I didn’t feel what I did required analysis and was fair. I asked her what alternative consequence I should have offered and she had nothing. She said we should have prepared for this in advance and had agreed upon punishment. I disagreed citing the crystal ball dilemma and again asked what else I should have done. She then said it wasn’t the consequence that set her off but the finger wag. We talked about how a few nights ago when I was away for work, he was being unkind towards her and she took away cookies while FaceTiming me. I explained I didn’t criticize her for doing it despite us not talking about the possibility of him being a jerk when eating cookies. I explained I trusted her judgement because: 1. No scream 2. No hit 3. No intimidation 4. Didn’t do anything unreasonable She has ADHD and her brain overthinks everything. I’m a worrier over things that don’t necessarily need to be worried about, like job security, financial future, kid’s future… things that aren’t problems now or maybe never. This isn’t a first time thing. I’ve been asked to change my ways to things a lot over the years and feel I’m being attacked when innocuous things becomes heavily criticized some 24-48 later with no real resolution being sought. The conversation just ended and I’m not sure how to proceed. AITA? TL;DR kid was being a donkey at Halloween and after repeated correction attempts I threatened to go home. Wife thinks we should have talked about this possibility and consequences and feels we are not on the same page - had no alternative to offer.

Tiny_Shock4327

AITA just had an argument with wife about how I handled a situation with our son on Halloween

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lqzrg/aita_just_had_an_argument_with_wife_about_how_i/

17lqzrg

I am 18 years old and yesterday my parents made me in charge of handing out the candy this year on Halloween to all the trick or treaters I don't live on a dead end block so a lot of streets connect and that means a lot of trick or treaters. this year I decided to go all out on decorations for the house and filled the front yard with all spooky decorations for the kids to enjoy. I did not feel like sitting outside handing out candy to all the trick or treaters so I left a decent size bowl of candy outside with a big sign saying "TAKE ONE" now I'm not usually the type of person to go out and make sure every kid takes exactly one piece of candy. it is fine if they take a handful but, right as I put the bowl out and went in the house this little boy maybe around 6 years old took out his backpack and shoved the candy in there and ran off. not to mention it was 4:00 pm so all the kids just started trick or treating and there were about 9 to 13 kids waiting to go up and get candy also and when I saw the next kid come out I jumped out to try and scared him but he looked all sad when I asked what was wrong he pointed to the bowl and it was empty. how could this be possible I just filled it to the brim 3 minuets ago? the mom then came up and said this little boy came up and took all the candy and pointed to who did it. turns out he was only at the next house. usually I would not care if a kid took all the candy but it is not even dark out yet and no one is even starting to trick or treat yet so I got a little annoyed and went to confront the kid. when i went up to him i asked "did u take all the candy from the bowl?" he nodded his head as he opened up the bag as slow as possible sobbing. I gave him a quick lesson on how to share then brong him back to my house to put the candy back. i could have emptied out his whole bag out into the bowl but i told him to put 4 handfuls back into the bowl. when he did as i said the bowl has only half way filled so i let him keep around half of it i only did it so the other kids can trick or treat as i didn't have no more candy so this leads to the question AITA?

Sauceyy2

AITA for making a trick or treater bring back stolen candy?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lr0x5/aita_for_making_a_trick_or_treater_bring_back/

17lr0x5

This is my first time ever posting and this happened yesterday. I honestly feel alone and not sure if I'm the bad guy my family trys makes me feel. I was getting ready to go to bed for my night shift job on Halloween and my sister asked me if she can use my car to take her kid and my nephew trick or treating, I said no and also mentioned that I had little gas in my car. Minutes later my mom storms in my room and says "why aren't you gonna let the kids use your car?" Saying that loud and aggressively, I just responded with no and nothing more. She said "that's F'd up, you better watch out cause you gonna be out of here!" I honestly didn't think much of it, I only feel like she said that last part cause she thought I was laughing when I was more confused about her reaction. After work and maybe 30 minutes before writing this, my sister( its her place)gives me a letter to vacate. I've been staying with my family for 2 years (almost 3 by the end of the year) and in the beginning everything was fine, this past few months however there has been some tension. Little things mostly but my family really likes to hold grudges, they have to have the last word in, they make themselves the victim or have the moral high ground in every way. Arguments started to get more manipulative and more petty(just the from way she kept mentioning the kids repeatedly during her reaction), I just got to a point where I had enough and refused to do anything for them and just wanted to be just a roommate. The result was them kicking me out. I'm the youngest in my family (31), when I'm around my family I don't feel or get treated like an adult. This is the longest I've been staying with my family since being an adult, seeing them acting this way makes me feel like they haven't changed since when we were kids. I don't feel like they respect me, like the only thing that was useful to them was my car and saying no to them made me out like I'm a bad brother/son. It's weird to be told by people to act like an adult but not following there own words, I'm confused and wondering if anybody else has ever felt like it was maybe a bad thing to stand up for yourself.

Cisco_71

AITA for refusing to let my family use my car to take there kids trick or treating?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lr4ao/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_family_use_my_car_to/

17lr4ao

My fianceé (25F) & I (27F) are getting married in my home state in the spring of next year. We’re planning on traveling & staying with my parents a week before the wedding so we can finish up the last few details & not be super stressed about it. Given that we’ll be there for awhile, we’ve decided to bring our dog with us rather than boarding him. He’s a good dog, but he’s very timid around strangers (especially men)/in new areas. A few months ago, I reached out to my ex, Kait, (weird, I know. We dated when we were teens, there’s no bad blood, my fiancée is fine with it) to see if she could watch my dog & my parents two dogs the night of our wedding since she was one of the only people I could think of that I trust & wasn’t invited to the wedding. She agreed. Yesterday My mom & I were discussing various wedding related things when she slipped in that my step sister, her husband, & their two kids (7M & 5F) are planning on coming. I was shocked because while I did invite them, I didn’t expect them to come. They live about 14 hours away & they don’t have a lot of money, so I didn’t think they would be able to afford to come. I’m fine with them coming, but I reminded my mom that our wedding is child free. Although I didn’t expect them to come, I made the child free rule specifically because of my niece & nephew, just in case this situation were to arise. I love them, but they are not parented. They have horrible behavioral issues. She said “I know. I figured Kait could just watch the kids since she’s coming to the house anyway.” We got into an argument about it because I said I didn’t think Kait would agree to watching 2 hellions & 3 dogs. My mom said there’s no other option for them as they don’t know anyone in the area & would need to rely on someone we know to watch the kids at the house. I told her I wasn’t asking Kait as she’s already doing me a huge favor & my sister would either need to find her own childcare or leave them home with her MIL or SIL that live literally right next to them. On top of this, my fiancée & I are now planning to stay with my MOH rather than my parents the week of the wedding because their house is a 3BR 2BA, with one of the bathrooms being IN the master bedroom. Seeing as how my sister & her family would also be staying with my parents due to money, I would rather not be in a small house with 8 people. We’re also planning for our dog to stay at a family friends house. Although this person is invited to the wedding, my dog is fine to stay by himself for 8 hours & she has a fenced in backyard so he would not have to be walked. This now excludes Kait from the equation, leaving my sister with no childcare. I was told I’m selfish for not being considerate of their financial situation. I really don’t feel bad. It’s not my responsibility to find childcare for kids that aren’t mine. AITA?

TattooedTemple912

AITA for telling my mom that my sister needs to find her own childcare or leave her kids at home?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lr57m/aita_for_telling_my_mom_that_my_sister_needs_to/

17lr57m

After dinner we sat down and had a conversation. Eventually we got to the topic of love languages. I told her mine would probably be quality time since I enjoy the company of my SO. She went on to say she personally values all the love languages equally. I agreed because most people on the planet would enjoy all aspects of all the love languages I went on to say I think they are all equal besides gift receiving. She said why do I think this? I said because if you value getting gifts just has equally has quality time that's concerning. I said that if someone told me that their love language is receiving gifts on a first date I would d probably stop perusing that person. If your 1st love language is gifts it makes me feel like our relationship is transactional. If that was the case I would just feel like I'm "buying" your love and wouldn't feel genuine to me. Do you love me or do you love what I get you. She took offense to this and said that I am being very judgmental. Am I the asshole?

SignalIntroduction20

AITA I [25M] got into an argument with my girlfriend [23F] about love languages

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lr7yd/aita_i_25m_got_into_an_argument_with_my/

17lr7yd

My husband (31) and I (30) have been together for 7 years. Since we started living together, we always split the bills 50/50 since we have a similar salary. Now we have a 5 month old son and fortunately I work from home, so I can take care of him while I work, and we decided not to pay a babysitter so we could save for a down payment on a house and a new car. The problem is that since our son was born, the relationship dynamic changed noticeably and he no longer takes care of household chores, at first I didn't give it importance, since I was on maternity leave, it was obvious for me to do it alone . But now I'm back to work, I take care of our son the 100% of the time and I also worry about cleaning, washing, cooking, etc. I tried to talk to him, but he always has an excuse and thinks he is the only one with the right to rest. So he comes from work to watch TV or play video games. I told him that since I take 100% care of our son and home, from now on he would take care of 100% of the bills, rent, electricity, grocery shopping, etc. He started an argument because I was charging him to "take care of our son" and that's not "what a good mother does" IATA for wanting him to take over monetarily since he does not do so in other areas? some clarification My job is from home. Even before covid, there's no office to go back to. The initial agreement we reached when I was pregnant was that parenting would be 50/50. that household chores and chores with our son would be divided as much as possible We have talked about this a lot, but the change only lasts a couple of days, the ultimatum of paying the bills was born for him to wake up. I was hoping he would make a commitment to try to do more. But I admit that after his response my frustration grew and I didn't want to give up on it.

Present_Problem_3230

AITA for telling my husband to pay all the bills

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lrr1f/aita_for_telling_my_husband_to_pay_all_the_bills/

17lrr1f

I'm physically disabled and use a wheelchair most of the time, but I'm not completely unable to walk. I can get up and walk around for a few minutes at a time, and a surprising amount of complete strangers feel like it's their god-given right to make comments about that. I've been outright accused of lying/faking my disability by randoms who don't think there is any reason to use a wheelchair other than being paraplegic. I was out for dinner the other night and the restaurant was not the most maneuverable. At one point I needed to use the bathroom and it was looking like it would be a nightmare to get there in the chair, so I decided to just raw dog it. A rando at another table with his family saw me get up and audibly said "It's a miracle!" Usually I just try to ignore stuff like that, but it really adds up. I looked directly at the guy and said something like "That was rude, it's completely inappropriate to comment on other people's disabilities." The guy said sorry, but very sarcastically. I raised my voice a little and told him that his behavior matters, and hopefully his son would be lucky and grow up to be a better person than him. I had definitely turned some heads at that point and felt pretty embarrassed, so my friend and I left shortly after. She didn't mind leaving the restaurant, but told me it was a low blow to basically call the guy a bad dad.

StumpyGal

AITA for telling a restaurant rando he was a bad dad?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lrz8w/aita_for_telling_a_restaurant_rando_he_was_a_bad/

17lrz8w

For starters we have been friends since primary school, up until our early twenties(now) and use to talk every day up until about 2 years ago. They are also my only friend. I’m not a real social person so I don’t make a lot of friends easily. We currently live in different cities so seeing eachother often is hard to schedule. Before I moved away we lived close by, even then seeing them was a struggle. They just aren’t the best at replying sometimes. Anyway I moved about a year ago now to a different city a couple hours away and we would periodically talk. I send updates every week and get a reply maybe 1-2 times ever 3 months when something happens in their life. Usually when they need advice or something. I expressed that I felt the relationship was very one sided and could use a bit more effort in keeping in touch. And they were very understanding and very supportive of wanting this friendship to not just work but flourish. I understand we’re both living different lives and so I wanted to just express how important it was for me to feel connected to them still. Anyway it’s been about 2 months since this and I haven’t heard anything. I sent them messages and updates. I even asked if they were available for a call but heard nothing. I’m not super upset but would I be the asshole if I unfollowed someone who very clearly doesn’t have the time to maintain this friendship now? Is that petty of me? I just don’t think it’s necessary to keep giving them my time and energy when for a year it’s been very one sided.

c0rdl

WIBTA if I unfollowed my “best friend”

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ls4h3/wibta_if_i_unfollowed_my_best_friend/

17ls4h3

My daughter is turning one in a few weeks, and her birthday happens to fall on a Wednesday. All of my friends and family can also make it on Wednesday, and it was also important for me to have in on her real birthday because one of my best friends is leaving town the next day and really wanted to come. Everyone can make it…except for my sister. My sister is my very best friend, and we talk every day, but I’ll be honest and say she’s incredibly flaky. She lives about 3 hours away, and has 2 children, one of which gets severely carsick and gets physically ill very quickly due to it. I obviously invited her to the party, but I didn’t think she would ACTUALLY come. Last night we were talking about the party, and she realized that the kids are in school (she thought my daughter’s birthday was during Thanksgiving break, but it’s not) and was upset that I was having the party on Wednesday. I gave her some space, and text her earlier today apologizing for the date of the party. She is obviously hurt, because she said I was accommodating my friend who is going out of town over her. That’s not really the case, and I told her in the nicest way I could that I didn’t think she would actually be attending because every time I had asked her how she would be getting here, she changed the subject or avoided me completely about it. I’ve already sent out invites to everyone with the current date of Wednesday, but should I change the party to happen on Saturday instead? I would feel bad because my friend who’s leaving town the following day has helped a lot, and has gone out of her way a lot for us, so I really wanted her here for the party. AITA for not wanting to change the date of the party to accommodate my sister, who might not even come? TLDR: My very flaky sister is upset with me for having my daughter’s first birthday party on a day of the week she cannot attend, and I’m not sure if I want to change the date of the party.

slumdundermifflin3

AITA for having my daughter’s birthday party on the actual day?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ls53g/aita_for_having_my_daughters_birthday_party_on/

17ls53g

I realize this title sounds entitled as all hell but I ask that you please don't skimread. If the consensus is that I'm an AH and I'm truly as entitled as the title sounds I'll call and apologize. I (36F) have a son (11M) In 6th grade we'll call "Preston" which a teacher we'll call "Susan"(50+F?) Some important background is that Preston is pretty skittish and jumpy, he easily gets startled by noises or voices he does not expect, especially if they are loud. I only have seen Susan in person like twice but she has a distinctly loud, almost thunderous voice, never heard her yell yet though, but Preston says it always makes him jump a little and apparently she's known for being ridiculously loud in general from other kids and parents. Anyway, I WFH And I got a voicemail on my phone from Preston using a school phone saying he got detention, because Susan yelled at some kids fooling around during worktime, he was startled, and she noticed so she made him leave the room, work in the hallway and call me to tell him he has to serve detention next week. I did not believe that was the reason he got detention at all because that sounds really dumb and assumed he was just minimizing his role(He does tend to do that when explaining his side when in trouble) so I thought I'd get Susan's side at recess while I went to lunch. I call her and I was completely caught off guard when what she said lined up with everything Preston said to a T. I wasn't sure what to say at first, but I ended up just laughing on the phone before any words could come out. Susan was irritated and asked what was so funny and I just responded that I was so sure that Preston was lying to me, because that was such a ridiculous reason to give anyone detention and that he is not serving detention just for being startled. She tells me that this is not a suggestion and that I'm being obtuse. I stood firm and asked her if she'd think it appropriate if her boss yelled loudly at some fellow teachers, you were startled and then he proceeded to dock HER pay or some other form of punishment, following up with I bet she didn't even do jack squat to the kids she was INITIALLY yelling at after noticing Preston. She got quiet for a moment and I thought maybe I convinced her, but then she doubled down and said that failing to serve detention would result in suspension or more, and I told her I'd gladly fight her and the school on this if it came to that before hanging up. I do not intend to punish Preston just for getting startled, we all do it and it's nothing worth making any issue out of. If I'm being honest the only reason chose to post is because I vented to my friend about this later and she actually did not side with me, saying that I was kind of being a dick to laugh at Susan and that teachers don't get paid enough to deal with the things I said, so I wanna hear what unbiased people think.

Ancient_Tangelo_8533

AITA for laughing at the reason my son was given detention and not agreeing to it?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ls96e/aita_for_laughing_at_the_reason_my_son_was_given/

17ls96e

Throw away because I'm not entirely convinced that my best friend and her bummy boyfriend won't find this. Me (19f), obviously, my best friend R (20f), my best friend's roommate K (19f), my other best friend W (19m), and R's boyfriend H (mid 30's m). My best friend just moved into her first apartment, and that's where everything went to shit. She's not responsible, she can't clean to save her life, and they've been there only a handful months and haven't even fully unpacked. It's nasty. The entire mess has been H and R's. Mounds of empty alcohol bottles, piles of dirty, rotting dishes in the sink. Their bedroom is HORRENDOUS. They won't put a fitted sheet on their bed, but INSIST that we all hang out in there and sit on their bed. She refuses to clean. There are piles of sour-smelling laundry and trash, piles of food wrappers, rotting dishes, and piles of alcohol bottles. Well, I've been as understanding as I can. Messes happen. When I'm over, I make an effort to clean her kitchen before I leave so they can at least make food during the week. It's gotten so bad recently that her roommate is rarely home, and when she is, she stays in her room. Well, the problem started on the 27th. K had a traumatic medical emergency that has taken a toll on her emotionally. So, beware going forward. I will be discussing a little about a miscarriage. K had her abortion pills come in the mail, and R's boyfriend comes sauntering in the room the second he hears the bottle, snatches the pills from her, hugs her, and tells her some fucked up shit. Then, HE TAKES HER EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVES. He told her he would flush them in 2 days, among other creepy things. The situation gets resolved very tensely, until the next day where R asks me politely to clean her living room and kitchen tomorrow for the party. I agreed. Well, apparently she changed her mind. Without telling me. She wanted it done by the time she got home from work that day, and her roommate warned me that she was going to come home and lock herself in her room and give us the silent treatment. I did not drive nearly an HOUR out for her to give me the silent treatment at any time while I was over. I told mom about the mess. So, H goes to R at work and tells her as we clean her apartment. R texts me that we need to leave for the night. So I sent her a very long message letting her know how I felt about her lack of communication, her childish behavior, how she refuses to help us clean, and how she's been treating us like maids. And then we left. Me, W, and K, who was in the middle of a miscarriage. Well, we didn't go to her party, we told her we needed time away from her. Nobody else showed up.(no clue why, I don't know them) The three of us ended up having a little party at my place, dressing up and having fun. Am I the asshole for ruining her Halloween party? TLDR: Best friend gets mad at me for not reading her mind and kicks us out, so we don't attend her Halloween party.

throwawaybadparty1

AITA for ruining my best friend's Halloween party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lsc8e/aita_for_ruining_my_best_friends_halloween_party/

17lsc8e

TLDR: I enjoy making drinks for people, I hosted a party, friend drank a ton, got mad when I asked him to give some money back for how much he drank, then basically the whole friend group turned on me. So I (24F) enjoy making drinks and bartending to a sense. I enjoy learning to make new drinks and making tasty drinks for people. I also enjoy hosting, so we will often have get-togethers at my place (that and my friend group likes my alcohol selection). Because alcohol is expensive, I have a little jar on the counter that says "just the tip" and when we agree on info in the group chat I'll often say "don't forget to tip your bartender". Some of my friends do, some don't, I don't worry too much about it. Onto the event, we were having a little holloween party this last weekend and there was one friend (23M) we'll call Jack, who was drinking quite a bit, a lot more than everyone else. With shots and the drinks I made him, he drank almost half of the 1.75 liter bottles. I was a little annoyed at the party as his behavior was an issue overall, but I decided to deal with it the next day. I texted him at around 11 am asking if he was good, how he was feeling, checking in on him. Then at around 4 pm I sent him, "hey also, if you wouldn't mind, could you venmo or cashapp me like $5 or $10, you drank quite a bit last night" and I got left on read. I texted him Monday at around 2 pm and said "hey, I'm not trying to be mean, but you basically finished half a bottle of vodka and alcohol isn't cheap. Would you mind sending me like $5?" and got berated with texts about how I'm the host and I shouldn't be asking him to pay for alcohol when he's brought alcohol in the past (that he then took the remainder home afterwards). I told him that if he's gonna just come to get free alcohol then have to be practically carried home, then he can bring his own alcohol next time and won't be having any of mine. I thought this would be done with and it would blow over, but then he ended up complaining to a couple others in the group who then messaged me and were like "what's the issue?" and while explaining it to them, it got into our main group chat with all 11 of us and became a whole thing, to which many people thought I was joking when I asked for people to tip me, got told that's not what friends do, and got told I'm selfish and kind of an a**hole. I ended up sort of going off on the group, saying how bringing some food or bringing some $1 beer doesn't repay for how much they drink sometimes, and when people do pay me back it's rarely more than the couple bucks in their pocket. The group chat has been quiet since. I talked to my partner about it and she supports how I feel, but I'm kind of feeling like I should've just let it go. So, AITA?

iluvpolarbears

AITA for asking my friends to "tip the bartender"

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lsfz2/aita_for_asking_my_friends_to_tip_the_bartender/

17lsfz2

I (32f) have a girlfriend (31f). She was raised in the countryside and has some behaviors that can be a little rustic. She chews with her mouth open, talks when she eat, blows smoke towards me when smoking and some other things that are not considered polite. She grew up poor, went to college and became an accountant. She now works in an office at a fancy building. Sometimes she says she feels inferior to his peers. I was raised in the lower middle class, but I navigated my way around and lived in some poor areas when I left my parents' house. Even in these places this behavior was considered rude. Starting our relationship I noticed it but I didn't care, over time I just got used to it. But now we're living together and my 3-year-old has started picking on these things. I point out a few times not to do this in front of him. But she forgets and becomes very upset when I ask her to correct herself in front of him. I know she's offended because I'm basically saying that the way she is is not okay. But it's not in those behaviors. I don't know how to deal with this situation, I don't want my son to do this, but I also don't want her to feel inferior like she does at work. AITA for point it out this or should I stay quiet? Edit: WE DO NOT SMOKE ANYWHERE NEAR HIM He used to eat properly before.

Tayoliv

AITA for trying to correct my gf behavior?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lsj5n/aita_for_trying_to_correct_my_gf_behavior/

17lsj5n

So recently my gf has moved in to my apartment. I paid for her elevator access card and her parking spot. I also paid her back for her month's rent at her place, importantly I offered when I asked her to move in so this isn't like she asked me to reimburse her for the rent she already paid. I also offered to help her move her things if she needed. She said she'd hire movers to do it and I figured that was it. So movers come by, get her stuff moved in, we set up her room and everything and she asks when I'm gonna pay her back for the movers. I tell her I'm not and she gets upset saying she only hired them because I offered to help her move her things and she assumed that meant I would pay for movers. We get into a bit of an argument and I'm now wondering if I'm being the asshole.

ChamplainLesser

AITA for refusing to pay my gf's moving fees?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lsxz1/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_my_gfs_moving_fees/

17lsxz1

For some background knowledge, my parents had me at a young age and they learned very quickly after my birth that they have conflicting personalities. I essentially was in between the bickering with both of my parents due to them having split custody. My mom used to always argue with my dad because my dad is manipulative and always has to have his way when it comes to everything. With my dad had to deal with constant pressure to be a better child because a B wasn’t enough I had to have good grades and do things the way he wants because “he’s my dad.” After many situations of my dad doing unfair things because he’s the adult I began to resent him by high school and I still do in fact resent him. I find it difficult to talk to him because a conversation turns into a lecture as to why I am always at fault and why he is right. Because of this I have always liked my mom more; she always listened to what I had to say and never made me do things without explaining why I should do this. My mom also listened to me when I was having difficult times and was basically my voice of reason. When I went to tell her about how I feel like my dad is manipulating me she told me about how he used to do the same things to her and how to deal with him without being disrespectful. It’s the week before graduation my dad sends out graduation cards that basically ask family and friends to send money congratulating me. He puts my cashapp on the card and has family send the money to me but later tells me that I am not allowed to spend it and to put it in the account he opened. I openly expressed my distaste to putting the money in that account because I’ve seen him take money out of it without telling me or putting it back. It’s graduation day and I come back home from getting my makeup done to get dressed. He takes pictures and whatnot and then starts screaming at me to transfer the money. I ask him why but all he tells me is “you have to put it in there because I told you so and I am your dad.” So now I’m pulling out trying not to cry because by dad forced me to put almost $600 in that account and felt like my dad was trying to control my life. After the ceremony my mom calls me to find where I am and we meet up to take pictures. We started to take pictures when my dad calls me asking where I am. At first I was calmly directing him towards where I am but he starts talking very aggressively to me because he couldn’t find me. Out of frustration I just sit my phone down so we can keep talking pictures. My mom tells me it’s okay and that I should help guide him to our location and I said that he could wait. He eventually made it over and we begrudgingly took pictures together. We went out to dinner and my dad had an attitude the entire time. He wasn’t talking much and had this look on his face. After dinner my mom and my grandma made me apologize because “all he wanted was to take pictures with me” and I was rude to him.

Dismal_Investment878

AITA for dismissing my dad at my graduation

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lt3ka/aita_for_dismissing_my_dad_at_my_graduation/

17lt3ka

I(18f) have been with my bf(18m) for three years. Recently, we have both entered adulthood, and for me it has been a really rocky start. I pay for all my expenses and have had a job for about 2 years. My boyfriend has recently gotten a job, and I understand that the stress of having a job is hard. So, I was with my boyfriend at school, and we went to watch a movie after. On the way there, my car started acting up and wouldn’t turn on. This was terrible for me because I am already tight on expenses as it is and knew my dad would be very upset with me about what happened. My bf did comfort me, and I was appreciative of that even though I was so frustrated and upset. We called his dad, he helped jump my car and I should’ve been able to drive home, so he and his dad went home. At this point, his dad suggested offering me comfort, reassuring words and a hug, and my boyfriend just gave me a side hug. I ended up stuck in the right turn lane with my car dead because the alternator was the issue, and had to deal with people yelling at me while I called a service to help me, and my dad was yelling at me on the phone. I texted my bf what happened, and he provided some comfort and I felt frustrated with what happened when he and his dad left, and I texted him “it’s fine, please, I already called triple a ''. He then asked me questions, and after sorting out the issue with the car service I texted him back 2 hours later, he asked what happened and I said wdym what happened I’m stuck on a street. Then he didn’t text or ask me if I was okay, where I was at or if my dad was with me. This occurred at 4-5pm, and I texted him goodnight at 11, and he texted me at 12am asking what had happened. I was frustrated and upset because he didn’t answer me, and I was frustrated to know that he was playing games while I was dealing with this. I didn’t expect him to drive over to me, but to just support/comfort me when I was by myself not knowing how to handle the situation. He still does not know what happened with my car because we didn’t talk the next day, and he only talked to me because I got on a video game and he asked to play. Then I told him I wanted to speak with him because it is not the first time where I felt not cared for during my struggles, and he said he isn’t ready to be receptive to what I have to tell him because it’s just going to be what he did wrong. I feel like this is always the case when I need him the most, and I always feel alone dealing with these situations. I know I have not been the best in the past and I think my issues have caused the root of these problems, but is it wrong for me to feel like I feel put on the backburner when it comes to my issues? He usually defends his thoughts for me not needing to comfort him more because he is more independent in processing feelings. I love him more than anything and I want to be a better partner for him and make it through this rough patch, but I don’t want my stress to affect our relationship.

Far-Example7019

AITA for wanting comfort from my boyfriend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lt5xd/aita_for_wanting_comfort_from_my_boyfriend/

17lt5xd

About a year ago we were all at lunch and I was hanging with my usual group friends, and today specifically was Halloween so almost everybody was dressed up, well while we were eating lunch the teachers thought it’d be a good idea to play some music and let everybody mess around for a bit before we had our break, but while everybody was spreading out to dance and to find their friends. My table started pointing at this specific girl and they’ve said things about her before but I knew if I ever told on them or exposed them that they’d find a way to get me back considering they knew a lot about me and the mistakes I’ve made because I’ve know them for a good 5 years. But that day something changed in me, while they were pointing I made out a few words they were saying because I couldn’t really hear with all the music blasting and all the voices talking, they kept calling her slurs and making fun of her body weight and said something about her needing to lose weight in order for anybody to like her and how she’s probably slept with the whole football team because she feels so desperate. Well I knew this girl from a while back and we were good friends, and she’s always been insecure about her weight and always wore baggy clothes because of it. I decided to actually say something tho, during break I went over to the the girl and we’re gonna call her Madison, so I went over to Madison and I told her partially of what they said and offered to go with her to one of our school counselors office to talk to them about it, I had proof of what they’ve said too on my phone, I had plenty of screenshots. So we went during class one evening and Madison completely started to break down and told me and the counselor about how all her life she just wanted to fit in, and that’s why she always tried to be what everyone wanted. During her crying and explaining how she was feeling I revealed the screenshots and harsh words they’ve said about others because at this point my friends weren’t worth defending if it was just to be defending them over something bad. I even owned up to the words I’ve said about her not others but explained that I felt peer pressured by the boys because I didn’t want them getting back at me in a worse way. So about 2 days after that all 4 of the boys were called into the office and they all got some sort of punishment that I’m not completely aware of, but seeing the looks on their faces when they were walking back to class didn’t seem too happy. I’m glad I did that, I’m glad I finally stepped out of my shell so I could help a girl in need and to help a girl feel better about herself. I still wish I didn’t it sooner, so that’s why I feel like the asshole.

UnusualFilm2226

AITA FOR STICKING UP FOR A GIRL WHO WAS BEING BODY-SHAMED BY MY FRIENDS?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltbi8/aita_for_sticking_up_for_a_girl_who_was_being/

17ltbi8

I’m a vanlifer adopted by a senior citizen living on 5 acres in desperate need of help maintaining, so I stay with her in exchange for getting things done around the property. For the 2 months I’ve been here she’s been talking about going to Florida on a business trip and having me take care of her geriatric dog, 9 chickens, feral cat, and the property itself. My full-time job approved the time off and the lady told me she would pay me what my full-time job would have paid me if I worked the whole time I was granted off (would be $600). She leaves on the business trip this Saturday and my job wrote & posted the schedule already and left me off with no hours as per this arrangement. For the last 3 weeks she and I had gone over feeding schedules, medications, etc. but she insisted that I cancel plans that I had to spend time with my mother today (I’m scheduled off from my full time job on Sundays and Wednesdays and spend as much time as I can doing things for the senior lady with 5 acres.) I did not agree to cancel plans I had with my mother - which included visiting the national cemetery where both my brother (Mom’s son) and my grandfather (Mom’s father) were laid to rest. Half-way through my time with my mother, senior lady realized that I had not capitulated to her demands and started sending me weird text messages that I had “snuck out,” she was “desperate,” and then after I tried to reassure her she texted me that she found other arrangements to take care of the animals and that I’m now free to work at my full-time job. I’m thankful I work with easy-going people at my full-time job but I may not get all the hours back that I otherwise would have gotten. I didn’t have time to reach a manager by the time I was free today but will speak to someone tomorrow. This is really a last-minute change imo. When I got back to senior lady’s place tonight, I told her that I was counting on our arrangement. However according to her, she doesn’t feel she could trust me, and when she insisted that I cancel my plans that I had to spend time with my mother today was basically a test that apparently I failed (not knowing what was at stake). AITAH?

lorelei072

AITAH? Failed a “test” and got fired

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltfeu/aitah_failed_a_test_and_got_fired/

17ltfeu

Bare with me as I know the title already puts me in the hot seat. I (23f) have 4 kids, 7M, 4F, 2F, 2 month M. I asked my sister if she would be willing to take my older two kids to the fair where she lives. She agreed and preordered the 2 kids tickets and her ticket. My oldest got into trouble at school and got a referral for his behavior, so he did not end up going with them. My brother ended up using the ticket meant for my son. My sister is now wanting me to pay her back for both tickets, even though my son never got to use his. I feel as though if my brother ended up using my sons ticket then if my sister wants the money back for that one then she should talk to our brother. I have offered to send back the money for the ticket that my child ended up using, however my sister is now adding up all the extra things they did as well (face painting, food, games, etc) which I never agreed to, as I told her from the get go I would pay her back for both tickets (this was before my son got in trouble at school and was not allowed to go anymore) My sister is saying that I owe her for everything because had I not asked her to take the kids, she would have not even gone. I told her that that was her decision and if she didn’t want to go/ didn’t have the money to go she should have just told me no from the get go. So now I am here. AITAH.

BfkingFR

AITAH for not wanting to pay back my sister?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltfmf/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_pay_back_my_sister/

17ltfmf

So I have this friend we’ll call Kai. Kai and I have been besties for many years now, and a few months ago he came to me saying he was desperate to move out of his current place, and that he couldn’t afford to move out without roommates. Since he’s been my best friend for so long and has done so much for me, I agreed to move in with him wherever he decided to go, but only if I could pay what I’m paying in rent now, which is $700. He was hesitant, and we agreed I’d pay that or at most a little more, like $900 max. So now I’ve moved in. Not only did I go though a lot of hassle trying to move my stuff in, but I also had to quit my job because it was too far away to commute to now. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t very high paying either, and I’m currently in the process of getting a new one. However, AFTER I quit my job and moved all my stuff in, my friend tells me my rent is $1000. Now, $900 was already stretching my budget pretty thin, but $1000? Like all of my money would be going towards rent now. I paid this months rent with my savings, and tried to just chalk it up to a bad coincidence, after all this was my friend and I did say I was willing to help him. Now, here’s where I might be the asshole. This apartment is a 4 bed, and he’s charging the other tenants 1200 and 1300 respectively, meaning out of the 4000 rent, the rest of us except him pay $3500 of that, making his rent $500. Now, he has a good paying job, and he makes a good chunk of money, not enough to rent the place alone of course, but enough where I called him out on not paying the same amount as the rest of us, especially when he made it sound like he desperately needed help here. I said he was being really unfair, especially since he knows I’m not really well off. He said nothing was stopping me from getting my own 4 bed and doing the same thing, and that if he lowered my rent he’d basically be giving me free money. He said he doesn’t remember telling me my rent would be THAT low and that I should be happy my rent is already lower than the other peoples. I yelled at him saying that he was being unethical here, but now we haven’t spoken since. he’s a really good friend every other time, and I feel bad that I made him feel bad about this. so what does the internet think? Should I just apologize? Am I the asshole?

DrawnbyaDog

AITA for telling my friend to pay more rent?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltge7/aita_for_telling_my_friend_to_pay_more_rent/

17ltge7

I (26F) and my husband (26M) have a normally really understanding relationship. There have been indiscretions on his part in the past, which I am currently still in therapy for years later. We share a son (2M). He works outside of the home 10-hr shifts with 2 hrs travel time, and I am a work from home mom. I make more than he does, salary wise. I take on most if not all of the parenting, house obligations, and all of the mental load while juggling work w/ a toddler. He gets home and basically sits on the couch until he goes to sleep. In the last few months, there has been constant fighting between my husband and I. Lately, he accuses me of not being supportive and not feeding into his love language. He claims I don’t support his music passion— he makes music as a hobby. And get mad when he goes to hang out with friends. For context, he spends his days off sleeping in until 10-11 am, immediately hangs out with friends, or writes music sometimes for hours (6-7 at a time) all three days he is off. My days are pretty much the same, except for when I’m off work. I’m in graduate school, don’t go out (and if I do, my son comes with me), and often get the brunt of parenting, cooking cleaning etc. For context, I don’t mind that he has hobbies or friends. I don’t even mind if his friends are at our home or if he goes out for an hour or two once in a while. My problem is that it’s every days off and during the week when he’s off. I recently approached this to him and he responded by calling me controlling. I responded by telling him to self evaluate to see if the family dynamic was actually something he wanted. Now he’s calling me an asshole. So Reddit, AITA?

Constant_Analysis_30

AITA for telling my husband he has to stay home with our son… or it’s over?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lthni/aita_for_telling_my_husband_he_has_to_stay_home/

17lthni

Throwaway. My (27F) dad (47M) lives in my Grandma’s (80F) house. A few months ago, he commandeered her iPad for his personal use because “she wasn’t getting much use out of it.” He didn’t, however; sign out of her Apple account, so he has access to her emails, texts, browser history, etc. He has admitted he snoops through this private data on a couple different occasions so that “he can protect her safety.” He has brought up topics that I have texted with my Grandma about, but not mentioned to him. For example, I texted her about a date I had, and my dad called to ask questions about him. He also gossips about what other family members texted her in confidence. My cousins miscarriage, for example. It feels tremendously violating and disrespectful, regardless of his rational of keeping her safe. I’m visiting their town in a couple weeks, and I’m wondering if WIBTA if I pick up the iPad and sign out of my Oma’s Apple account to prevent his snooping behavior?

Vegetable_School_980

WIBTA if I sign my Grandma out of the iPad so my dad can’t read her messages?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltqsg/wibta_if_i_sign_my_grandma_out_of_the_ipad_so_my/

17ltqsg

I (27F) didn't invite my (30M) best friend to my parent's beach house. I have known my best friend, who we will call "B", for 11 years. Our parents ended up working together and that is how we met. Each summer my parents would hold a party at our house but in the last few years got busy with work, so it never happened. I decided that I would go down to our beach house for the summer with a bunch of my friends (Around 5). B was not one of those as to the best of my knowledge he was going to visit his parents around the time I planned to go. However, I never asked B to confirm it and rather than having him for a few days, I found someone who could come the whole time. B found out about it and got mad that I didn't ask. (Backstory, B and I had a sexual relationship after a few years of knowing each other however we broke up) B also got a hold that his ex was coming along to the beach house. I knew his ex before they dated, B then told me he was now able to come and told me to uninvite his ex and take him instead. (B has a major in marine biology so talks a lot about the ocean etc each time we go to the beach) His major doesn't affect me however others get quite annoyed with his constant talk about how we shouldn't have this or that as it affects marine life. I also thought it would be awkward to uninvite his ex after she already brought the plane tickets. He suggested coming along but sharing my bed however, I wasn't comfortable with this as we have had a sexual relationship in the past, so I said no. He got mad and started to get aggressive, so I just left. I haven't talked to him in a few weeks, and we are leaving in a week. AITA For not inviting him?

Live-Rhubarb-912

AITA For not inviting my best friend to my beach trip?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltr3b/aita_for_not_inviting_my_best_friend_to_my_beach/

17ltr3b

I (22f) have repeatedly asked my husband (20m) not to wear his sweatshirt to bed since he wears it for work and works in construction, he sees no problem with wearing it to bed even though he showers before getting into bed, I see this as gross and very disrespectful to me but I don't know AITA?

katieb33tl3bug

AITA for asking my husband not to wear the sweatshirt he uses for work to bed?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltrfi/aita_for_asking_my_husband_not_to_wear_the/

17ltrfi

Background : I (22f) and my hub owns our own flat and we have a girl (1f). We own a 3 bedroom apartment ( Asia) so it means i have 2 bedrooms , 1 toilet and 1 living room. My girl sleeps in my room but her clothes, toys and shelves are in the other room along with the spare things in the house such as toothbrush, soap and even toilet paper. It our spare room but everything is packed neatly and cleaned often by me. A while back my hub friend of 13 years, we call her Jennie here . Jennie was in a toxic relationship and was badly tramatised like horrible stuff. My hub and i supported her through and he offered her the spare room to move in and build her self up as her ex was staying in her room at her mother's house. Word limit so i keeping this short. Upon signing the agreement, my hub charged her only $180 ( seeing she a friend and it temporary) Market rate of a shared room is $500 to $800. A common room rate now is $800 to $1000. With the lines of , she cannot lock the door cos our girl things are still inside, she need to help out like example buying drinks to fill the bar fridge. Everything was good since she moved in 3 months ago. She locked her door once and we reminded her that we needed access to her room cos my girl might have spur of vomitting issue where she might wake up and vomit. Here where i might be an ass, the last 2 days Jennie decided to locked the door and did not tell us in advance cos if she did i would have taken some clothes out for my girl. I literally had to knock hard to get her to open up for me to get my girl's clothes to shower my girl. I told my hub about it and he even asked her causally like why u lock the door? Jennie just decided to shut up, i even texted her , no responds. Now im peeved, cos thinking back she recently like within the week suddenly started have weird outburst one Example , my hubs does the laundry for us so he tend to keep the things, obviously he needs the space to hang all out the clothes , so he as usual just helped Jennie keep her laundry including the underwears like every other time and passed it to her. She for some odd reason freaked out and scream 'you could have told me". I be honest, i feel that she might be worried my hub might wanna take advantage of her or something but at the same time, Jennie knows him longer than me . Im debating if I would be an ass if i suggest to my hub to tell her she got to the end of the month to move or pay the full rent of $600 for the entire room with lock doors. WIBTA?

welovefood159

WIBTA if i insist my hub to kick his (27f) Friend out by the end of the year?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltt97/wibta_if_i_insist_my_hub_to_kick_his_27f_friend/

17ltt97

I’m turning 40 in a month and I’m celebrating at home with my wife and 3 kids. My brothers are throwing surprise parties and get togethers with 4-6 day’s notice for turning 38 and 42 (who cares). Should they grow tf up? Or AITA? Side note: I have 3 sisters and they never do shit like this

DrDookieButt

AITA? I’m annoyed when my 38 y.o. and 42 y.o. brothers invite me to B-day events for themselves

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltw8o/aita_im_annoyed_when_my_38_yo_and_42_yo_brothers/

17ltw8o

Little context, I (f34) have been close friend with Eva (36)since college days. I and Eva have also been close friends with Julia (33), however me and Julia had a big falling out about 5 years ago. We come from small Eastern European Conservative country I have moved away soon after college but both girls are still home and still close friends. During pandemic Eva started to date a guy, David, as their relationship progressed and the more she told me about the guy the less I liked him, when she told me they got engaged I tried to talk to her about my concerns, she didn't want to listen. Earlier this year Eva told me they would get married this fall, and asked me to be her maid of honour. I was torn between supporting my friend and refusing on grounds I just don't think he is right for her, in the end I said yes to being her maid of honor. In our culture it is custom that best man and maid of honor gift the newlyweds the biggest/most expensive gift, and the rest of the guest use it as a guide what not to exceed. I own my company and earn substantial income so I've asked her what she needs/wants, she said it would mean a lot if I could help furnish their new apartment, that their mortgage doesn't leave any room for furniture. I said fine, send me the list/links of what you want and offered to either buy it for her or give her a cheque that would cover everything on the list. She sent me the list, it was a lot but still nothing I couldn't easily afford. About 2 months ago she called to say she would have two ceremonies, civil ceremony this fall and church wedding next year, but that she wants Julia to be her maid of honor for church ceremony and me for civil. I wasn't okay with this and said she would need to choose, since I committed to buying her furniture I even offered to keep that promise if she choose Julia. She did. It stung a bit, but I reminded myself I was never really for that marriage. Fast forward to two weeks ago when Eve calls asking for cheque for furniture, I asked her to remind me what the amount was, I knew ruff figure but not down to a final euro. She rattled amount that was almost 3x what I had in my head. After going back through emails I was right and she almost tripled originally number. After confronting her she first tried to blame it on inflation but then said it shouldn't matter because I can afford it and it's my wedding gift to her. I proceed to rescind my offer to pay for furniture and said I would prefer to stick to our custom and make sure my gift doesn't overshadow that of maid of honor. She called me an a**hole for going back on my promise. So AITA for refusing to honor original offer?

EchoOfNovember

AITA for refusing to honor promise for paying for my friend's new furniture after she tried to lie about amount she needs

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltwvx/aita_for_refusing_to_honor_promise_for_paying_for/

17ltwvx

I stopped dating a girl because she wanted to put clothes on my husky. It's been cold AF here in Oklahoma for the past few days, my husky loves it, she thinks it's too cold for him and wanted to put a sweater and shoes on him. I'm a firm believer that animals shouldn't wear clothes regardless how cute it looks. Their body temps are higher than ours so putting additional crap on them can overheat them, especially a breed of dog known to survive in stupid cold. So I ask aita for breaking it off over MY dog

uhsorrybro

AITA for ending a relationship over my dog?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltxyt/aita_for_ending_a_relationship_over_my_dog/

17ltxyt

Hi! I (15f) share a room with my stepsister (17f). We started sharing a room after we moved which was a little more than a year ago. Going into sharing a room I specifically told her she can’t treat OUR room the way she treated her room in the old house. Despite a disinterest in this conversation she agreed. And thus began the tragedy that is our room today. I am the only one who cleans. I’ll say she’s cleaned MAYBE twice, not including the bathroom that we share. It’s becoming annoying and I’m having to remind her more and more than she NEEDS to clean. I don’t mean it’s just a little messy; she has left moldy drinks/food, dirty/clean clothes all over, random junk covers our floor, the closet is also a disaster. She has very thick curly hair & I can sympathize that it’s a struggle but her hair is over the shower and bathroom walls, and she never takes care of it. It’s becoming such a hassle to have to keep up with our room, and when I move her things she gets mad and tells me not to touch them. So to where I may be becoming the a-hole. She’s busy, she’s applying for college, does theatre, etc. She’s here during 3 days during the week & sometimes the weekends. I feel like I may be an a-hole because I keep pestering her about it. I have alot of homework so I get how these things can slip through & the upkeep can be hard, but on the other hand it’s getting really annoying having to live in such a pigsty.

taylorswiftskneecap

AITA for wanting a clean room?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17ltyuv/aita_for_wanting_a_clean_room/

17ltyuv

Every year for Halloween, me and my friend Andy go trick or treating together and we both said that this year was probably going to be our last year trick or treating since we'll be in high school next year and I figured that we should prepare for getting invited to Halloween parties instead of trick or treating. I dressed up as Heisenberg, but my friend had to go as a costume that his parents got for him. They had him dress up as Hillary Clinton and they had him wear this fancy business dress with a blonde wig while carrying around a broken laptop. I thought it was hilarious, but Andy didn't think so. Andy wanted to go as whatever he wanted since it was his last trick or treat, but his parents threatened to ground him for a whole month if he didn't wear the Hillary Clinton costume. We went trick or treating together and I kept commenting on how funny it would be if we ran into people from school, but he was really upset. And when we were finished, he told me not to tell anyone at school about it. I ended up telling just a couple of other friends and it spread pretty quickly around school. Andy ended up getting pissed off at me for telling people and now he's not talking to me. I don't see the point in trying to keep it a secret. His parents posted pictures of it on Facebook and I only told a few people. And it's probably possible that other kids from school already saw us trick or treating without us knowing. It's just a dumb costume for one night and and I think that people will forget about it a year from now. Am I the asshole?

snowysnoe

AITA for telling people about my friend's Halloween costume?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lu3nf/aita_for_telling_people_about_my_friends/

17lu3nf

Okay y'all so I, F22, got a Jeep Cherokee as my first vehicle and had it since I was old enough to drive. It's always been a good vehicle and reliable with pretty good gas mileage. I also kept it because I figured if I decided to have a family it would be a good SUV to have as I wanted children at the time. Well around last year and my priorities changed a bit. I decided that children could wait and to enjoy being young. With that mindset I recently decided to trade my Jeep in for something that I felt me, a Dodge Charger. Now this isn't a brand new on, it's a 2016 so it's not like it's super expensive and it's perfectly affordable for me at the moment but it is a higher car note in total that I have to pay. Now the thing is with this decision I didn't think to tell my parents and only briefly mentioned getting a new car to my BF but never specified the type of car I'd be getting. So I decided to swing by my parents after I get it and go to get my BF first. He's kinda shocked to see that I decided to get a charger but didn't really say anything much besides as long as I'm happy with it it's fine. When I get to my parents house it's a different story. They seem pissed off that I decided to get a new car at all and that it's financially irresponsible especially with it being a charger as it has worse gas mileage and that I'll get tired of it eventually. This led to an argument with my BF siding with my parents on the fact that it's also a higher car note. My parents said I should have consulted them and not just gone out on a whim. I tired to tell them that I looked at my finances and figured that it was reasonable for me to do and it wasn't just a whim but they weren't having it so I'm wondering AITA?

stateofjorja

AITA for trading in my Jeep for a Charger?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lu57i/aita_for_trading_in_my_jeep_for_a_charger/

17lu57i

Was driving back to my university today on a two lane highway vibing and listening to music, having a great time. All of a sudden I see a car come flying up behind me in the rear view mirror (easily going 100 mph) and at this moment the entire right lane is blocked by semi trucks so this guy has no choice but to slow down behind me because I am in the left lane going 80 mph (speed limit is 55). He starts aggressively tailgating me as if I'm going slow. I saw that this guy was becoming increasingly agitated because all I could see is his face in my mirror but I couldn't move over because of the trucks. I kept my speed because I didn't feel comfortable going any faster at that moment and I am certainly not going to speed up just because you are being a tailgating bully. The first truck in the line was matching my speed at about 80 mph which made it difficult to get around it with this psychopath tailgating me so I kept going until the truck slowly faded behind me, but I intentionally did it extra slow, essentially boxing him out so he can't pass just to make him mad (this is really the part where I'm wondering if AITA). I knew at the time that it was petty but I refuse to submit to bullies so I had to troll him a bit. As soon as a gap opens up for his car to fit through he floors it around me and when he passes he looks over at me through the window and flips me off and mouths "F\*\*\* You!" and speeds up to over 100 mph. I waved at him and smiled as he passed. I watched him from a distance for a bit and he got off the highway and stopped at a McDonald's. Seems like a pretty insane overreaction just to go get some fast food.

noconfidence_

AITA in this highway situation?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lu8q9/aita_in_this_highway_situation/

17lu8q9

I told my grandmother and dad that I wouldn't be going to her home for Thanksgiving this year, and my dad thinks I'm being selfish and childish. Am I the asshole? I (26F) have a very complicated relationship with Thanksgiving. More than any other holiday, Thanksgiving was my mom's day. She was an amazing cook, and always had such amazing recipes and would host every year. It was super chill, everyone in my family would get together wearing jeans or sweats and t-shirts, watching football, and just hanging out. My mother passed away after a nearly 2 year battle with cancer on Nov 26th 2016, two days after Thanksgiving. I was extremely close with both of my parents (and still am with my father), and her death is still devastating to me, and it definitely hits me the hardest near Thanksgiving. Last year, my dad and I drove down to my grandmother (his mom's) home for the holiday, and to my surprise, we weren't having a homemade dinner with family. Instead, we went out to a fancy restaurant with my grandmother's lifelong friends, none of whom I knew. I don't want to come across as spoiled or ungrateful, but it was just so far removed from everything that represented my mom on that holiday that I feel the need to be closest to her. I have a history of mental health issues on top of late-diagnosed Autism, and I went into complete shutdown. I couldn't feel anything, and putting on a smile so I didn't ruin the night for everyone else was really hard. I fully intended this year to spend Thanksgiving instead with my aunt (mom's sister), who I am very close to. However, whilst talking to my grandmother on the phone, she told me how happy she was that I was coming down for Thanksgiving and that she'd already made the dinner reservations. Apparently, my dad just assumed that I'd be going down with him and didn't ask me at all. I took some time to think about the situation and decided to do what I felt was best for my mental health. When my grandmother next called and asked about Thanksgiving, I told her I wouldn't be able to get the time off of work because I'd used my PTO earlier in the year. I also attempted to explain about my mental health and desire to feel closer to my mom. She immediately guilt tripped me, and my dad got very upset as well. My dad believes that I'm being selfish because I am only thinking about my own feelings and not those of my grandmother who may or may not make it until next year, and we won't be going down for Christmas. He also compared how he handled the passing of his father at an even younger age than me and moved on, whereas I'm still letting her death impact me years later. He was even insulted that I told him I'd have preferred to be asked rather than him just assuming I'd go, since I'm his only "immediate" family. I don't feel guilty, but maybe I should and I really am just being an asshole?

Rogue_B13

AITA for not going to my aging Grandmother's for Thanksgiving?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lufda/aita_for_not_going_to_my_aging_grandmothers_for/

17lufda

My wife got up from bed, where she was wearing her light underwear, to turn up the temperature on the central heating because she said she was freezing. I suggested she might be warmer if she wore socks or pants, but this irritated her. For context, I was also in bed, wearing only my underwear, and covered with just a sheet, not using the quilt she was using. In fact, I felt a bit warm. Then she mentioned she doesn't usually sleep in pants, to which I jokingly remarked, "So everyone in the house should suffer to suit you?" She seemed exasperated and asked, "Why are you like this?" AITA?

Meglomaniac99

AITA for not wanting the wife to turn up the temperature on the central heat?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lujv4/aita_for_not_wanting_the_wife_to_turn_up_the/

17lujv4

My sister has been dealing with difficult in-laws for years. She's often avoided confronting their disrespect and boundary issues, preferring to rely on her husband to address the problems. Recently, at a family gathering, a misunderstanding with her sister-in-law led to a tense situation. After some reflection, my sister attempted to discuss the matter with her sister-in-law. The mother in law demanded to be apart of this meeting to mediate. My sisters husband was also present. So basically three family members in a condo apartment all addressing my sister who is alone. However, when my sister decided to stand up for herself, her mother-in-law took her daughters side(very aggressive tones btw), causing my sister to ask them to leave. She then locked herself in the room crying until my brother had to pick her up and take her away temporarily from her house. They have young kids, who don’t need to see their mother in this way. I'm concerned about my brother-in-law's lack of support for my sister in this situation. He seems to be controlled by his family. I called him out on this and expressed my family's support for my sister. His response was defensive, claiming this is under control, and that we should’ve never got involved by accepting to pick her up. Is it wrong for me to stand up for her against the mistreatment from her in-laws? How do I as her brother support her through this challenge ?

Undeniablygreat

AITA for telling my BIL that he should take accountability for a recent negative interaction between my sister, her SIL and MIL?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17luq5n/aita_for_telling_my_bil_that_he_should_take/

17luq5n

Hello! I have never posted before so please bear with me. I (19F) currently live in an apartment with my best friend/roommate L (23F). We have lived together for the past 2 years and worked together for 4 and have never had any problems before. She recently started dating her partner E (18M) but he is currently going to school about 4 hours away from us. However, E is thinking about transferring to the school that I currently go to. I was excited until I learned that L had offered to let him move in with us. I like E as a friend and a person, but I do not want him living in the apartment with us, which I told L when she first brought up the subject. When L first asked, I was told that if E moved in, he would be paying 1/3 of the rent so it would be split evenly between us, but the circumstances have recently changed. Due to a previously unknown expense, E has to pay around $1000 per month for living expenses at his other school even if he transfers. This means that he would not be able to pay rent for a period of time while he lives with us. Since E living with his parents is not really doable for him, this means that E would either have to stay at the school they currently go to and do not like, or live with L and I rent free for 5 months. Obviously I am very sympathetic to E's situation, but I don't want to have someone living with me and E in a 2 bedroom apartment for free. In general, when E and L are both in our apartment, it makes me feel like I am a guest in my own home. E and L have since both been basically begging me to let E live with us rent free. I really don't want him to live with us rent free, but I don't want him to be in a worse situation either. Saying no to them in this situation would probably also put a huge strain on the friendship I have with L, which is very important to me. I believe I might be TA because by not allowing E to live with us rent free, it could put a strain on L and E's relationship and possibly force E to either move in with his parents or attend a school he hates. WIBTA if I said no to him living with us without helping with rent or bills?

beep_beep_bridget

WIBTA If I Didn't Allow My Roommate's Partner to Live With Us Rent Free?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lus7f/wibta_if_i_didnt_allow_my_roommates_partner_to/

17lus7f

My (30f) husband (31m) and I separated about a year ago. We've been dating for the past 6 months and made the decision to move back in together. He moved in about two weeks ago and brought with him his two cats. He had these cats when we were together and we shared another who stayed with me. After we separated I got another cat so our cat count is now at 4. I sleep with the door closed for several reasons. 1, being safety in the event of a fire. 2, our home is older and we rely on window ac units and it makes a significant difference in keeping the room cool. And 3, the cats. 1 of our cats sleeps with me. She is fat lazy and wholesome. 1 of the cats sleeps with one of our sons. 1 of the cats is a psychopath (she's a kitten so its expected). If she is in the room she is just chaotic and making a ton of noise or messing with her sister and will wake me up. Additionally, since the cats are still adjusting to each other again there is a lot of growling and hissing if they come into the room at the same time. Aka, more waking up. So door needs to stay shut. However, the final cat hates shut doors. He will yowl loudly and scratch at the door. It doesn't make a different if he's in the room, outside the room, alone, or with other people. He yowls nonstop. Every night I am being woken up repeatedly in the middle of the night. One night I was really poed and put him in the bathroom. He yowled I'm there but was far enough away that it didn't disrupt me. So I did it again the next night and the next. This was the routine for a few nights, he wakes me up, i put him in the bathroom. It has a litter box and water fountain ftr. Husband is a heavier sleeper so the meowing doesn't wake him up. Even if he did, he would fall back asleep in seconds to minutes. When I wake up I am up for a MINIMUM of 20 minutes, but often hours. I am tired. It has been two weeks since he moved back in and I've not had a single night of uninterrupted sleep, nor a collective 5 hours. I am bipolar and having a regular sleep schedule is an important factor at maintaining my stability. It has been over two years since I've had a manic episode. Lack of sleep could seriously jeopardize that. A manic episode could seriously jeopardize all of the relationships and successes in my life. As I'm going to sleep and husband is staying up for awhile I asked him to put the cat in the bathroom before he came to bed. He got very upset and said its not fair to the cat to be shut in the tiny bathroom (we have a basement and attic which are larger but not heated, it is currently snowing so that feels worse to me). I said its not fair or safe for me to be not getting any sleep. He said both things can be true at once and to "be a better sleeper" or get headphones. I have tried sleeping with headphones on in the past and they're never in when I wake up and I'm worried if I use ear plugs I won't wake to my alarms for work in the morning. Am I the AH for putting the cat in the bathroom at night?

kittyjail381

AITAH for putting the cat in the bathroom at night

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lutjz/aitah_for_putting_the_cat_in_the_bathroom_at_night/

17lutjz

My (16M) best friend (16F) since elementary school started dating my brother (18M) a few months ago. I wasn’t thrilled when they got together because I felt it could jeopardize our friendship if things don’t work out between them and mostly - and I know this is a selfish way to look at it - I felt I’d somehow losing her as a friend, as she now would be closer to my brother than she is of me and I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing my every thought with her. Well, it turns out I was sort of right… context: I’m gay, I came out to my friend when I was 13 and she supported me when I came out to my family a year ago. One of the issues I discussed with her before my coming out were some insensitive and homophobic comments my brother used to make while we were growing up; nothing directed to me, but to things in general, as in sounding disgusted whenever two gay men kissed on a TV show. Yesterday my brother found a way to work into a conversation we were having that he’s sorry for being such a dick all those years ago, and for the weight it put on me while I was struggling with coming out. I asked him why he was telling me this all of sudden, and eventually I got him to say that his gf (and my best friend) mentioned something to him. I felt betrayed because they were talking about me behind my back and because she was sharing something with him that I told her in confidence, as a friend. I texted her to say I lost trust in her; she says she only tried to give my brother a heads-up so he’s more careful around me. It turned into a shitshow because of course she told my brother I’m mad at her, he came to talk to me again trying to smooth things over, and I ended up having another fight with him as well. He accused me of still not being cool with their relationship and to make it all about me. Either way, AITA here?

Limp_Juggernaut_7633

AITA for losing trust on my best friend now that she’s dating my brother?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17luv3p/aita_for_losing_trust_on_my_best_friend_now_that/

17luv3p

My mom visited my wife and I for a few days and my sister-in-law and nephew (8yo) stopped to go do some clothes shopping with my wife. My sister-in-law and mom hadn’t seen each other in years and my nephew was a baby last they met. Being a good husband I volunteered to drive and my mom joined the shopping trip too. While we were at the store, my mom played with our nephew in the toy section. She has no grandkids so I think she really enjoyed being around a kid. She then promised to buy a huge stuffed toy for him and my sister-in-law said “no”. My nephew got upset and so did my mom. We got in the car to go to the next store and told my mom to drop it. She responded “It’s not just for him! It’s for me too!” At the next store she tried to sneakily buy him another toy and my sister-in-law again said “no” and felt she needed to stop shopping and monitor my mom. After being told no for the second time, my mom had a full on pouting fest and dramatically begged my sister-in-law to let her child have a toy. She made a scene. My sister-in-law let her buy the toy. That evening, after everyone but my mom and wife left, I told my mom that couldn’t believe how childish she was in the store. She was shocked at the accusation and claimed that my sister-in-law was being ungrateful for not allowing her to get her son something he wanted. I told her “That child is not yours or mine and we have no say in what he does or does not get!” She huffed and went back to the guest room. She hasn’t said anything about it since and leaves tomorrow. Am I the asshole? TLDR: Am I the asshole for calling my mom a child after she had a tantrum because she couldn’t buy a toy for my nephew?

travisharden23

AITA for calling my mom a child

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17luvwa/aita_for_calling_my_mom_a_child/

17luvwa

edit: i don’t think this is clear enough from what people are commenting so let me state this clearly. i am a lesbian in a lesbian relationship. every person mentioned in this post is queer! myself (f20) and my partner (nb20) just started dating a few weeks ago. we were hanging out in their room when they got a facetime call from their friend e (nb20). i had never interacted with e prior to this other than brief communication through my partner. i can’t remember specifically how the poetry was brought up due to this happening a few weeks ago, but e began to read aloud some poems that they’d written about a girl they used to like. just before this, while talking about poetry, i said that i didn’t understand poetry and couldn’t wrap my head around it. it just seems like words to me and i don’t get it. so, i’m not sure why e decided to read in the first place. after finishing the poems, my partner and i said they were gay (they are- e is in fact queer, and the poems were literally about wlw love). e didn’t say anything regarding this at the time, and i promptly forgot about the interaction. fast forward to today, and my partner gets a text from another friend in the same group v (nb18) saying that e was upset that we called their poems gay, and instead of talking it out with my partner, was just going to distance themself. if either of us knew that it upset them we would have apologized immediately of course, but there was no communication on their behalf. my partner feels like they can’t text e about this because they explicitly told v to keep this under wraps, but if they don’t then their friendship could fall apart. and this is just because we called their poems gay! am i just being insensitive? aita?

electricchains__

AITA for calling my partner’s friend’s poem gay?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17luwrk/aita_for_calling_my_partners_friends_poem_gay/

17luwrk

My husband (35m) and I (36f) have a 9 month old a daughter who was born with a congenital heart defect. It is managed through medication, however we had to switch medicines recently. Her heart rate was noticeably lower with the new medication so I asked my husband (who takes the night shift) to wake me if her heart rate goes below 65. He was playing with friends online and in VOIP with them when he replied "yeah I'll go in and be like hey hey! [Daughters name] is gone". He and his friends found this extremely funny but I didn't. I proceeded to repeatedly tell him it wasn't funny to joke like that and got extremely upset when he insisted it was and I was just reacting poorly. Later on he claimed the joke was just about her vanishing all of a sudden and I was making something out of nothing. It definitely didnt seem like that at the time but I was diagnosed with PTSD and Anxiety after everything that happened so... could I have misinterpreted the joke and overreacted over nothing?

C0MMAND3RN00DL3

AITA for taking a joke too seriously

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lv0w2/aita_for_taking_a_joke_too_seriously/

17lv0w2

When she(18) was sick last week, I(20) baked brownies for her. She took a bite and said ‘Tastes shitty.’ The she told me to take the brownies back. So I did and ate them with my friends. Now she’s asking me to bake some cookies for her. I told her no and when she asked why, I reminded her of what she said last week. She said that I’m being petty for not baking for her when she only made what she felt was a valid criticism.

PadlomeAp

AITA for refusing to bake for my best friend’s sister?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lv1qy/aita_for_refusing_to_bake_for_my_best_friends/

17lv1qy

So someone new came into the office today. A couple of people asked me to go meet her. She was standing with a couple of other people when I walked up to them. I introduced myself and asked for her name. She said her name was Maria. So I then said, in the friendliest way possible, "Maria. Say it loud and there's music playing. Say it soft and it's almost like praying." I thought I would get a few laughs from it, but all I got were some uncomfortable sounding chuckles. I guess the reference was too dated for them. Maria was just standing there with a weak smile. I wasn't sure if she was uncomfortable or not. But anyway, we all just moved on and I figured it was just a joke that fell flat. Later in the day, another coworker came to me and said I was being weird when I made that joke, and I was lucky I didn't get reported to HR. Some people may have gotten the idea that I was trying to flirt with her, but all I really wanted to do was break the ice with a stupid little reference. But now I'm wondering if I might have said something I shouldn't have. AITA? Edit: Okay, I've seen enough. Mostly people saying I'm the asshole, with some saying I'm not. But either way, I'll have to be more careful before I say something that could be offensive. Oh, and to that Aussie guy, please take a flying leap. That is all.

PlentyWrangler6659

AITA for making a joke about someone's name at the office?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lv2s7/aita_for_making_a_joke_about_someones_name_at_the/

17lv2s7

We're both college juniors, I'm 20 he's 21. I met my boyfriend back in March, he's my first boyfriend, him and his friends do crazy shit all the time. I stay out of it mostly, I just let them have their fun and I don't step in unless anything gets unsafe or illegal, or they bother people outside of their group. My boyfriend used to have pretty long hair, which I love. I definitely have a thing for guys with long hair and for several of the Halloween parties we went to this week, he went as Tommy Lee in the 80s, one of my celebrity crushes. I thought it was cool. So Tuesday night, which was Halloween, I stayed with my friends while my boyfriend went to another Halloween party dressed as Tommy. Had his hair done, makeup, outfit, drumsticks and everything. I was in his apartment with my friends, he came home and his hair had been shaved off. I don't give a fuck what his hair looks like, as much as I loved his long hair, he looks amazing no matter what. I told him he looked so good, not wanting to make a big deal of it. Yesterday, the day after Halloween, we woke up together and had breakfast and he seemed off. I asked if he was ok, he seemed really down and insecure about his shaved head. I told him how good he looked, but he told me how at the party the night before, his friends called him over to a chair and had clippers plugged in. He knew he didn't have to actually do it but he said he felt like a pussy if he didn't go through with it, so he just let them shave his head. They knew he loved his hair. He hated it, but everyone was watching and laughing and recording it. Obviously he got over it but I can tell he's not happy about it. Today I was walking around and happened to see some of his friends. I was going to ignore them but they called me over and told me about shaving my boyfriend's head, I just told them it wasn't cool and he clearly didn't want to do it. They told me how he was a pussy for not wanting to do it, so that's why they shaved his head. I told them how fucked it is to make someone do that if they don't want to. I wanted to say more but I just left it at that. They just kept telling me that I was dating a pussy. Apparently they texted my boyfriend to say that I had confronted them, which wasn't true because they were the ones who put me on the spot. He thinks his friends did nothing wrong, even though he hates how he looks now. Was I wrong for confronting them?

Organic_Act6151

AITA for yelling at my boyfriend's friends for making him shave his head?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lv6sg/aita_for_yelling_at_my_boyfriends_friends_for/

17lv6sg

My friend and I have a high school close friend who goes to a different university than us. We always make a point to meet up over the breaks to catch up. This week was ours to visit her, my other two friends have known each other longer, I only recently joined them about 4 years ago ( they’ve known each other for about 5). My other friend decided to go to her dorm for the entire week, I was exposed to stay from Wednesday to Saturday. I was unable to go earlier because I wanted to spend some time with my grandparents (there getting older Yha know and I genuinely like spending time with them ) anyway today was the day I was exposed to go to her campus. They had been texting me the days before planning out what to do and stuff. I hadn’t really been able to talk that much to them but I said I was happy to do anything they planned out. Anyways I got to campus that night and texted her when I was outside her dorm. She kept denying my calls and then put her phone on dnd I tried texting my other friend that I had arrived and no luck from her either. About 30 minutes later I got an texting saying she was in a class and to stop bothering her, I tried to explain that I was sorry, I just wanted in the building since it was -1 and I was stupid enough to forget my coat in my dorm. I then asked if my other friend could come let me in since she’s not technically in the class, but she stared ignoring me saying her class ended at 9 and to just wait outside (it was 6pm). Thankfully some poor girl from her building let me in probably because she felt bad. I went to the lounge to just wait for them to get back. They got back at 10 which I really didn’t mind I just wanted hang out and forget everything, they seemed happy to see me so i didn’t think much of it. They said they wanted to go see a movie and I thought that was great! We got to the theatre and everything was great, we watched the movie and it just felt really nice to be with my friends. After the movie I had to use the washroom so I excused myself, when I got back they had left me at the theatre, my mom had dropped me off so I didn’t have a car and we used my friends car to get there. I called them and they said it was just a prank and to just grab an Uber back to there’s. At this point I was really upset so I just called my mom to come pick me up. I got a lot of angry texts saying how I can’t take a joke, and if I didn’t come back and grab my stuff they would throw it out. I feel bad for making there evening turn sour but I’m also tired of feeling like a third wheel. Now I’m nervous because this same friend is apart of a larger friend group back at our university and I don’t want things to be awkward. So sorry for the long text post! But any insight would be nice :)

Historical-Mix7623

AITA for leaving a friends place early and ruining the evening for everyone?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvgfx/aita_for_leaving_a_friends_place_early_and/

17lvgfx

My friend (38) and I (29) went on a trip to New Orleans to work for 2 days and basically play for 4. Before we went on the trip, I told her to please feel free to do her own thing throughout the trip, or hang back at the hotel if she gets tired. I wanted to avoid us getting sick of each other. On the second day of our trip when work was done, we went out for food and then went out for drinks. We met a group of people, and one of them wanted a tattoo. I said no, but said that him and his friends could come to our hotel to party though, because I have a sick balcony and hotel and would love to go hang there instead of standing at a bar for longer. I told my friend that I might have this group over to my hotel room, which I was inviting her to come to as well. She had her own room so she wasn’t obligated to partake, but I was having a great night and going with the flow and this was part of that flow. She has her own hotel room so she didn’t have to come, but offer was there. She got upset with me and asked if my fiancé would be okay with me bringing this guy back to my hotel, and I told her that I was not bringing this guy back, but this group of people. She said that she didn’t feel comfortable with it, and I asked her if she believed me that I wouldn’t bring this guy solo back to my hotel, and she said, “it’s not that I don’t trust you, I don’t trust him.” I told her that I have a good judge of character, which I truly believe I do, and that I just wished that she trusted me. I truly didn’t feel I was doing anything wrong. So she leaves, and heads back to our hotel. The next day, she said she needs time to think and that she would message me when she’s ready to talk. Finally she messaged me at like 5 pm, so like half the day goes by on our vacation that’s supposed to be fun, and she spent it ruminating in her feelings. She said that she gets very protective over me, and that she grew up in a modest culture and has been suppressing her discomfort with me for awhile. I have to include that she is not a modest mouse- she has told me about many explicitly sexual activities she’s partaken in with people who she shouldn’t have partaken in with. She is very sexually liberated. She asked me again if he would be okay with how I act when he’s not around, and that she doesn’t want to keep secrets from him. This part is important - she’s never even met my partner. So I kind of lost my shit at that point and told her that I found it weird as fuck that she was so concerned with how my partner would feel about how I behave when he’s not around, considering she doesn’t know him, and furthermore, that him and I have been together for ten years, and that yes, he knows how I “act”. I felt really hurt, and judged, and like she was trying to make me feel ashamed of myself. I told her that I felt she was acting controlling and that she was judging me. She left after I said that and booked an early flight home.

feverpony

AITA for telling my friend that she was being controlling and judgmental?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/17lvgq0/aita_for_telling_my_friend_that_she_was_being/

17lvgq0