arunma/shortjokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Instead of calling them flyover states we should call them comments section.
A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.
Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
Does a cow give milk? No, they have to take it from her
Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary about what it takes to be an entrepreneur while balancing family life.
My black cat just ate my four leaf clover. That can't be good.......
Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired.
What did the gay guy say to his lover when they were going on vacation? ""Hey, can you help me pack my shit?""
Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone
What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve Because they all share the same DNA
My house is really small until I can't find my phone.
Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... get it?
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available.
I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it.
What are the 3 stages of sex after marriage? Tri-weekly Try Weekly and Try Weakly
How do they calculate global warming? Al-gore-ythms
What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking.
The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray.
What do gays and melons have in common? cantaloupe...
My girlfriend is great in bed... But I don't know how my best friend would know that.
What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines? Panickin' Skywalker.
Why did the composer go to the chiropractor? Because he had Bach problems
[Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes
If we attacked Turkey from the rear... ...do you think Greece would help?
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss
My favourite word is snigger It allows me to be sracist without speople sthinking I'm a sbad sperson
How do you hide an elephant in a fridge? You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.
Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?
What do you call a green cow in a field? Invisibull.
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym? I'll re-rack.
You're shoes are untied! April fools! Got ya!!
Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, ""Awwww..."" while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks.
Gentlemen test At least most tests have the decency to ask me my name, before they fuck me.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: ""Sure, knock yourself out"".
A piece of shit walks into a bar It's my dad... My dad is a piece of shit.
What's a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba !
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!
What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles
What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty? Mutton Looter King
An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: ""Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!""
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ..........Nothing you've already told her twice!
I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds.
Did you hear about the skeleton who didn't go to prom? He had no body to go with.
What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex.
How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!
Kids are like farts. You don't mind your own, but others peoples are just unbearable
Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.
I milked the cow ""We don't have a cow"" the neighbors' cow then ""Their cat?"" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo ""Meow"" Ah shoot
Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle.
The IRA have been fighting for Irish reunification since the 70s. . . All they needed to do was vote for the Conservatives.
How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they like to keep the mods in the dark.
Why is Chapstick so popular? Cause it's the balm baby!
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
If I was antisocial I wouldn't have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
What's a sluts favourite drink? 7 Up in Cider
Facebook buys Instagram for one billion?!? Idiots!! They could have downloaded it from the app store for .99 cents..
I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.
I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot.
My friend always wanted to work in animation, but never got past the interview He just couldn't understand the difference between a professional ""colorist"" and a professional ""racist""
[sees a zebra for the first time] What's up with that horse? [sees a giraffe for the first time] Okay, what the hell is going on today?
so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change. Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!
You're so fat and unfunny... that the only punchlines you have are stained on your shirt.
A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak
Glue is weird it's all like hey I want to stick these pieces of paper together wait I have an idea hand me that dead horse
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I'm ""the one,"" but isn't talking to a police officer.
Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold... But that can't be true because he said the Heat is On.
A duck walks up to a prostitute.... And says, ""put it on my bill""
What is the best part about having sex with 23 year olds? There's 20 of them. (Works better in person)
My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.
What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes.
""You're a unit of power Joe."" ""I'm a Watt?""
I once bought an e. e. cummings poem collection.. It was the worst game of Mad Libs ever.
Why is it that the more numbers someone has in their e-mail address, the less I respect them?
What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Shut the door im dressing
My bank account status is more scary than the Conjuring!
If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference.
What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room? You made the chain too long in the kitchen.
A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson's movie family.
If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer.
Why was the baby ant so confused? Because all of his uncles were ants!
Don't buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone... and I am still asian.
After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (-1)/8
Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard""
How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress? They have a lot of patients
I wonder if dog's had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.
Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.
My ex-girlfriend was a slut. She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie. edit: Going through a potential breakup, so if you see this, this isnt about you, babe. Dont leave me, please.
Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road? Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.
ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for ""A Person Who Deserves Love""? ME [crying]: Hahaha
Peter Pan escaped the adult world... ...by becoming an alcoholic. He goes by Peter the Panhandler now.
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard
My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
You just know I knew my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load early last night....I could see it in her eyes
FOR SALE: Faulty Guitar. No strings attached.
An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfit fanatic walk into a bar... Who talks more?
How is light beer like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'll see myself out.

Instead of calling them flyover states we should call them comments section.

A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Does a cow give milk? No, they have to take it from her

Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary about what it takes to be an entrepreneur while balancing family life.

My black cat just ate my four leaf clover. That can't be good.......

Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired.

What did the gay guy say to his lover when they were going on vacation? ""Hey, can you help me pack my shit?""

Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone

What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve Because they all share the same DNA

My house is really small until I can't find my phone.

Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?

Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available.

I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it.

What are the 3 stages of sex after marriage? Tri-weekly Try Weekly and Try Weakly

How do they calculate global warming? Al-gore-ythms

What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking.

The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray.

What do gays and melons have in common? cantaloupe...

My girlfriend is great in bed... But I don't know how my best friend would know that.

What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines? Panickin' Skywalker.

Why did the composer go to the chiropractor? Because he had Bach problems

[Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes

If we attacked Turkey from the rear... ...do you think Greece would help?

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss

My favourite word is snigger It allows me to be sracist without speople sthinking I'm a sbad sperson

How do you hide an elephant in a fridge? You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?

What do you call a green cow in a field? Invisibull.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym? I'll re-rack.

You're shoes are untied! April fools! Got ya!!

Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, ""Awwww..."" while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks.

Gentlemen test At least most tests have the decency to ask me my name, before they fuck me.

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.

I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: ""Sure, knock yourself out"".

A piece of shit walks into a bar It's my dad... My dad is a piece of shit.

What's a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba !

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!

What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles

What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty? Mutton Looter King

An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: ""Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!""

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ..........Nothing you've already told her twice!

I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds.

Did you hear about the skeleton who didn't go to prom? He had no body to go with.

What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex.

How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!

Kids are like farts. You don't mind your own, but others peoples are just unbearable

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.

I milked the cow ""We don't have a cow"" the neighbors' cow then ""Their cat?"" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo ""Meow"" Ah shoot

Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle.

The IRA have been fighting for Irish reunification since the 70s. . . All they needed to do was vote for the Conservatives.

How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they like to keep the mods in the dark.

Why is Chapstick so popular? Cause it's the balm baby!

What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.

If I was antisocial I wouldn't have just ordered a pizza over the phone.

What's a sluts favourite drink? 7 Up in Cider

Facebook buys Instagram for one billion?!? Idiots!! They could have downloaded it from the app store for .99 cents..

I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.

I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot.

My friend always wanted to work in animation, but never got past the interview He just couldn't understand the difference between a professional ""colorist"" and a professional ""racist""

[sees a zebra for the first time] What's up with that horse? [sees a giraffe for the first time] Okay, what the hell is going on today?

so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change. Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!

You're so fat and unfunny... that the only punchlines you have are stained on your shirt.

A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak

Glue is weird it's all like hey I want to stick these pieces of paper together wait I have an idea hand me that dead horse

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence

Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I'm ""the one,"" but isn't talking to a police officer.

Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold... But that can't be true because he said the Heat is On.

A duck walks up to a prostitute.... And says, ""put it on my bill""

What is the best part about having sex with 23 year olds? There's 20 of them. (Works better in person)

My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes.

""You're a unit of power Joe."" ""I'm a Watt?""

I once bought an e. e. cummings poem collection.. It was the worst game of Mad Libs ever.

Why is it that the more numbers someone has in their e-mail address, the less I respect them?

What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Shut the door im dressing

My bank account status is more scary than the Conjuring!

If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room? You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson's movie family.

If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer.

Why was the baby ant so confused? Because all of his uncles were ants!

Don't buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone... and I am still asian.

After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (-1)/8

Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard""

How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress? They have a lot of patients

I wonder if dog's had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.

My ex-girlfriend was a slut. She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie. edit: Going through a potential breakup, so if you see this, this isnt about you, babe. Dont leave me, please.

Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road? Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.

ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for ""A Person Who Deserves Love""? ME [crying]: Hahaha

Peter Pan escaped the adult world... ...by becoming an alcoholic. He goes by Peter the Panhandler now.

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard

My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

You just know I knew my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load early last night....I could see it in her eyes

FOR SALE: Faulty Guitar. No strings attached.

An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfit fanatic walk into a bar... Who talks more?

How is light beer like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'll see myself out.