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aizenSosuke

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I lately started wondering if it is actually because of my social anxiety. I always keep myself away from people so maybe they're like

The title says:

I hate that I'm like this. I was so awkward during the interview. I applied to be a laundry attendant at a hotel, but the interviewer said she already filled that position and would hire me as a housekeeper instead. She asked me if I would be willing to start tomorrow...which would be the best news ever to anyone else. My dumb ass says that I can't, how about next week? Because at that moment, I was about to pass out from the fear of starting the very next day and failing. I'm almost 27. I've never had a 9-5 job, and my boyfriend financially supports me. He is happy to do so, but it doesn't erase my feelings of guilt and fear that I'll never amount to anything in life. I don't want any children, but sometimes I wish that I had them so that I could use staying home and taking care of them as an excuse.nnI have to text the person who interviewed me soon if I want to start on Monday. I just feel like it's going to be the same song and dance. Panic attack on Sunday night, then I'll cancel and not go. I've done this for about five jobs now. I literally don't see a way out, besides suicide. I'm sitting in a coffee shop right now, shaking like crazy. I've been in therapy, taken meds, and practiced mindfulness as much as I can. Nothing seems to help.

Not trying to sound like an asshole, but I thought it was obvious by my post why this is something I've been struggling with for a while

I have struggled with depression and anxiety and have a history of self-harm and EDs. My mom, for example, might end up venting about my dad and their relationship issues and arguments with each other, which is one of the reasons that I developed an anxiety disorder at a young age because I was always worried of them getting divorced/someone leaving (my dad used to pull stunts where he would leave the house, not come back for hours, and during this time he would not respond to phone calls or text messages from us). I have asked her time and time again to please not vent to be about her relationship problems to me (I understand that she needs to speak to someone, but her daughter should not be the first person that she goes to; maybe a close friend?). Every time she has some sort of problem, she will come to me and start talking despite me asking her not to, and then throw a hissy fit when I don't back down. She will either continue talking and ignore me, telling me to

I second this immensely. My mom does the same crap. I'm 24(f) and I'm finally cutting off my mom from my life completely. That relationship will eat you, don't let it and keep your boundaries up. Maybe she will learn... unlike my mom.

I'm just taking mirtazapine right now, but it is not helping me with that. If you guys could tell something that worked for you, it'd be good. Sorry for my bad english, my maternal language is portuguese.

Propranalol is a godsend. It's a beta blocker.

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1)So, you mean no long term side effects?nn2)so,even when you are sober,you feel less anxious in social situations?

I have a problem with talking about myself especially in front of my coworkers. Sometimes I can feel that my face muscles are trembling/moving around. I am not exactly sure how it looks like from the outside but I know it's very visible because I got asked once “what is going on with your face?”. Even when someone is taking a picture of me during a party/bigger gathering it's hard to smile because my face is staring to twitch. I have never met anyone else with similar problem and I'm wondering if it's only me?

I experience this also it makes me feel even more embarrassed

Today I've met new people in training, and it was terrible. I feel so ashamed when I look back..Almost no words were spoken by me, immediately forgot everyone's names, couldn't even hold eye contact, my body language had to be so idiotic and funny to others, my smile was kinda forced as I couldn't relax. They formed these little groups as they already knew each other and I was in corner like a retard. When someone finally talked to me, I missed heard and just nodded (...), the girl just looked at me like I'm the biggest idiot. They only thing I've done was that I've put people in akward moments. I should have stayed in my fucking room.

I'd rather take my chances at fighting cancer than deal with this smh , just know it's a lot of us fighting with you , the worse part is nobody understands, they think you shy yea bitch thats like 5% of it , mfers couldn't live a day in our shoes

- anyone who can reply asap is greatly appreciated -nnnHi! Been struggling to sleep at the moment. Have had a bottle of vodka thinking that it may help me fall asleep but it just worsen the situation. nnI badly badly want to sleep before anything goes out of hand.. and i'm thinking of drinking sleeping pills (been drinkinh sleeping pills for a few months now and ot works well for me) nnQuestion is, can i still take the pills even though i had a bottle of alcohol (4.6alc as per the bottle) (google said no, but i don't believe what's on google lol) TIA nnEdit: it's been 3 hours and after a lot of crying, now i'm panicking cos i still can't sleep. nnEdit2: Thanks everyone for your comments! Had a 3 hours sleep but that's better than no sleep i guess. I didnt had the urge to take the pills. Thanks to you all :)

Please don't do this.

Curious what you all do to Treat your Anxiety? Myself I use benzodiazepines to treat it, it works better than anything else and I have been prescribed for 7 years.nnWhat I do to avoid dependance/addiction is only use twice a week. It sucks though, because I'm really only anxiety free the days I get to use it.nnSo this is why I'm asking, what do you all use to treat anxiety? Supplements, Prescriptions, natural remedies? I want to find something on the days I cannot use a benzodiazepine.nn Only having no anxiety for two days out of the week for 6-7 years is getting old. I want to be anxiety free the whole week without taking more of the benzodiazepine.

Yeah same here. And true, they only affect how adrenaline works. For me the physical symptoms are the worst hindrance. I can easily faint without beta blockers, not to mention the sweating, stomach aches and trembling lol. I can deal with my mental distress better when my body is calm, so they've been great for me. Overthinking is still a problem though.

Just wondering.

Yes I'd go sit by the track by myself and do nothing or read a book. nnSeveral kids would even come up and ask me if I was okay lmao, which was sweet, but made me go lurk in a more hidden area. nnThe principle also came to ask if I was okay. She had previously organized a book club with me after my teacher gave her one of my emo poems to read. But that quickly disbanded once she realized I had no friends to invite to the book club nnGosh I was a weird socially anxious loner