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t3_2jv3ij | tifu | TIFU by putting on anti-dandruff head and shoulders | So, I have a horrible case of dandruff, so i went to buy some of that zync whatever-the-hell shampoo. So, i'm in the shower. I put a handful on my wet hair, and first I was "Hey this isn't so ba-" and then BAM. This was satan's own shampoo.
As it slowly ran across my face, I could feel the burning, as if someone lit a small fire on my face. I tried to resist it, putting water at my face. As i was rinsing, I could hear satan whisper in my ear "its not over yet". The damn shampoo made its way in not one BUT BOTH of my eyes. Me being the retard I am, i put my SOAP COVERED HANDS in front of my eyes to block out the stinging. Not only was satan shoving his pitchfork in both of my eyes, he was laughing. As I let out my whimpers and groans, the FUCKING SHAMPOO MADE ITS WAY INTO MY MOUTH. Be noted, while i was resisting the shampoo on my face, i put on more.
So, as my eyes were burning, my tounge felt like it just dived in a cup of noodles fresh out of the microwave. I shoved my face toward the fresh, cold water to feel the relaxation, only for the stinging to return instantly after I move away to get air.
Now, the thing is, the water tends to shift from extreme colds to extreme heat. And oh-fucking-boy did that shit happen. As I was cleaning away the satan shampoo, the water went rogue and went HOT on my face. That was it. I GTFO'd out of the lava pit and rubbed my face with my towel and dried up. | put on anti-dandruff shampoo, it turns out that shit stings on my skin. Got into my eyes and mouth and water turned hot on me. |
t3_30ql6s | relationships | I [30 M] worry I am being superficial about my GF [30 F], why do I compare her looks to other girls if I love her? | I hate myself for even writing this and I feel it may be a terrible idea but I have to try.
I am 30. Sheila is my gf and is also 30. We are going to get married. We love each other so much, we get on so well, we've lived together and we are so good together. When I thought our relationship was over I was devastated. It seemed like it would end because I couldn't commit.
This is my problem, or at least the symptom: I see other girls and I compare Sheila to them, and I often think "but that other girl is more attractive and I wish Sheila looked more like that."
I can't block them out and they plague me everyday. I WANT them to stop because I love her so much and I do find her physically attractive as well.
I want to believe it's because I'm immature and unable to appreciate things, because at least I can work on that and change myself... because I want to be with her! But I'm worried it's something more 'fundamental', that the mere fact I am writing this on the internet is terrible in itself and shows me that I don't really love her.
How do I move forward and do the right thing for both of us? | I love my girlfriend but I can't stop mentally comparing her to other girls and wishing she was a bit more attractive. I am SICK |
t3_3cpaj6 | tifu | TIFU trying to get the translation of "corny" into Spanish. (Back in High School 10 Years Ago) | So in my Spanish 2 class back in high school (sophomore year), I went up to the teacher and asked her with a smile, "¿como se dice 'corny' en español?" Back then and even now, I tend to mumble when I speak.
Anyway, she gave me the weirdest look that confused me. She shook her head in confusion and answered with, "Uhh... sentimental?"
I was kind of weirded out by her reaction so I just nodded my head and accepted the answer as is, thinking that she simply misunderstood.
For some reason, my memory brought me back to that moment and I decided to look up the definition of sentimental and came up with "love affair." To my horror, I realized that this whole time she thought I was asking her for the translation to "horny." I'm pretty sure she looked at me like as if I was some creep for the rest of my time in high school after that. | Asked Spanish teacher to translate "Corny." She thought I asked for translation of "Horny." Got an awkward look and probably the label of creep for rest of my life according to her. |
t3_243361 | relationship_advice | My S/O (F/19) is mad because I (M/21) want to study? | So a little background. With a girl who I was with for 3+ years but we are currently "working on things". We still go out and she spends the night sometimes. But graduation is approaching for me in a month and I have a class which I'm barely getting by in (68%). I have my last exam before the final on Monday and have spent a little bit of time during the week studying and planned on not doing anything on Saturday & Sunday just so I can grind some study sessions. She wanted to go out or hangout tonight but I told her I didn't want to do anything or have her over because I know I won't get any studying done. The problem is my S/O is telling me I am selfish and that I am "caring about myself like no one else matter in my life". Am I selfish for not wanting to do anything? After all I'm doing this so I don't have to stress (as much) for my final and ultimately so I can graduate in a month. Am I in the wrong? | My S/O says I am selfish for not wanting to do anything tonight and tomorrow because I want to study and get a good grade. Am I? |
t3_232vlj | relationships | My girlfriend [22] and I [21] can't have sex because of her past, and I'm not sure how to get he/us help. | She's been hurt in her past, and I'm not sure how to get her help. I'm also unsure if she's willing to get help, and it doesn't help that she doesn't like talking about sex related things because of the bad memories it brings up. If I do anything sexual to her, it also brings up bad memories. It's gotten to the point where if she starts to get into the mood, I go into "do nothing" mode so I don't bring up and memories.
That would be ok, but the only thing is, is that she doesn't want foreplay. And without it I end up hurting her, then we stop, and then she starts crying because of the memories it brought up, and because we couldn't have sex.
I don't know what to do. We haven't had sex for over 4 months now, and it doesn't look like we'll be trying it again anytime soon. We've been together close to a year, and in the beginning we had sex all the time. After we started getting close, she told me that she only had sex so much because she didn't want me to leave her if I didn't get sex. When she found out I wasn't like that, the whole sex dynamic changed to what it is now.
She still wants sex, but can't handle her past horrible memories, but also doesn't want to talk about sex, and also doesn't want to do anything sexual at all unless it's sex. There's only kissing in the relationship; not even making out. I've been feeling increasingly unappreciated, and unloved. There's no affection in the relationship anymore. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to break up, but I'm miserable. | Girlfriend wants sex but we can't because of her past, and I'm not sure how to approach her about getting help. |
t3_2o6u16 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [29 F] 2 months, She wants slow, i'm afraid she will slip away | Met a girl online, i primarily use online dating as its a great medium for me to show myself for i am terribly shy. She is beautiful, smart, witty, enjoys every obscure band i also enjoy. We both love trying new things like beers, whiskeys, food, art, sexual activities etc.
She as cliche as it sounds has lit up every light that I would deem to be a dream girl. I spend as much time as I can with her. I tell her how i feel about her daily. She has a hard time accepting it as she calls me a Unicorn (something that isn't supposed to exist). That blows my mind as I'm just being me.
Here's where it gets hard for me. She wants it slow dead slow. Molasses is the term used often. She is terrified of investing and being crushed again. She has explained her past and I understand the concern. Not going to dive into that yet as it would push me off topic.
I am horribly scared that in this time outside factors (friends, ex's, new suitors) will pull her away from me.
She told me her one of her greatest fears is finding a soulmate or true love and not acknowledging it out of fear and walking away. That scares me, a lot. I'm not in love with her but I feel it will happen. She is just far to much the poster of the girl i've dreamed about since I learned about attraction.
I'm trying my hardest to slow myself down to keep her wishes and appease. But in the back of my mind its always there. Will i lose the chance i've waited for? Will someone take her away in lust and crush her again? | Meet in my eyes my dream woman. She needs slow in fear of crashing. I feel she may be snatched away from me in that time. |
t3_1wwzu3 | relationships | Me [30M] and [29F] - For love or beauty? | You'll probably think I'm a shallow, arrogant, simple-minded bastard and hate me (because I do) but here goes:
I've been with a girl on/off for nearly 10 years. She's the person I trust most, the one I'd call for if I had a day to live and I love her more than anything in the world. In short, she should be my wife and would but for that most petty & stupid of issues: beauty, I just don't find her all that attractive.
She is actually fairly good looking in the traditional sense and I don't even care much about looks, it's almost 100% down to a couple of tiny "beauty spot" style blemishes that I can't stop focusing on (also I don't like kissing her as she always smells/tastes a bit like peas).
She wants marriage/family but I've always felt like if I married her it would be out of duty or love, not out of true desire and so doomed to eventual failure. We've split up a couple of times because I'm hurting her by carrying on and she deserves the entire world, but she loves me and persistently "just wants to be with me" so the endless quagmire continues.
Over past 2 years we split up, I met and almost married a girl who I found extremely attractive (and smelt amazing), but new girl was an utter pyscho bitch and thankfully things broke down. The 1st girl is now back in my life but facts remain the same. I hate myself so much for wanting to marry some tramp just based on looks but not my solemate.
I wish more than anything I could find her as attractive as the other girl (most people would probably say she is, if not more!), but from the heart I don't and never have. What should I do? Do I need to end it with the girl for both our sakes? Is there a way to magically (or with effort) start finding someone attractive who you love? | I don't find my soulmate attractive, but love her to bits and know I will never trust or connect with anyone else as much as her. What should I do? |
t3_1mcvtd | relationship_advice | Touble With Being Away From Home | Hey all,
In around 36 hours time I will be going back to university away from home. I'll be gone until around Christmas time (apart from the odd train journey home). The trouble I have is that I really don't want to be away from home. I've been back from uni for about 5 months now.
I've spent time living away before (this is my second year), and times even before university. Over the last couple years I've become even closer with my Mum and brothers and now I dread going away.
I know it's not for long, and I'm not exactly going far, but my mind has trouble adjusting. I'm 22 and I know a lot of people by this time have more independance and even relish the time spent away from home. However, I am not one of these people. I shoud note that my family are also not a massive fan of me being away (missing me, etc).
The question I have, is how do I deal with this in a way that doesn't drag me to the pits of unhappiness and loneliness?
Is there anything I can do to ease the stress on my family too?
I apologize if this is in the wrong subreddit; it's the only one I could think of relating to my problem. | Lived away before, been home 5 months, going back to uni away from family soon, having trouble dealing with being away, possibly wrong subreddit, what do? |
t3_2wbyg8 | tifu | TIFU by telling my teacher I watched pr0n | This happened about 12 years ago, when I was in grade 3.
Email was the new thing that everyone had, and I was gloating about how I had one, and how I could email my friends and family across the world.
Like any typical school day, my grade 3 teacher greets all the student as we come in. She asks me how I was, and if anything awesome happened over the weekend. Being the extremely talkative kid that I am, I start telling her about my Friday night cartoons, Chinese school and piano lessons on Saturday, all the chores I had to do and Sunday School as well. When I start talking about my Sunday night, I tell her:
"I got a really strange email. It had a bunch of weird sentences, and pictures of girls with eating poop with veins in them. Like they were really dark brown and long, so it's poop... but I don't know why there were so many veins in it! They were like eating poop! They had their mouths all over it!" (I giggled at telling my teacher it looked like they were eating poop because it sounded so ridiculous) (I also personally filtered out they had no shirts on and I could see boobs)
She gave me the most horrid look, smiled and continued on. Later in the day, I got a phone call home, and my parents found out that I had told my teacher and my teacher had voiced her concerns about my online... activities.
I knew this was a weird incident, and didn't realize till now (now that I'm 20) that I had actually been sent pictures of pr0n. | As a kid, I told my teacher I had pictures of pr0n, and described in detail the veiny "poops" I saw. |
t3_383x2k | relationships | I think I messed this up massive me [25/m] her [25/f] 7-8 Months | A little back story we meet on Tinder last November and have been meeting up and going out spending hours with each other and things things were going go and we was enjoying time with each other. I wasn't rushing her or anything. Every time we departed we would agree to meet up again which we would do.
We meet up 2 weeks ago and everything was great and fine we had a great time and agreed to meet up the follow week. I really should have made the move on her but I am too much of a coward. We couldn't as she had to travel to see some family but that happens. But since than she has became so distant with me. I may not have helped as we agreed to meet up this weekend just gone. However she said she may have to work so she will get back to me. This is where I messed up.
So I waited until Friday and asked she blanked that comment and went on to ask about my day and other things so asked again with the same response and I gave up. However the next day went out with some friends got drunk as you do and well sent a line or two saying look I am sorry for asking like that.
Now not spoken to her since Saturday night and I have noticed she has started to use tinder again a lot more logging in a lot. Where as before it had been months before she logged into it. I dunno what I can do or say to save this.
At this point even if its over it would be nice just to be told yeah it would suck. But we had plans for stuff coming up in the next few weeks that required tickets. | I meet this amazing girl couldn't control myself become over keen and messed up and now I dunno what to do to save it? |
t3_nn8gg | AskReddit | I'm in a one-year lease with less than acceptable roommates. What can I do? | Hi,
I'm 24 years old and have lived in my own apartment for a couple years, I've had roommates before and we had a blast.
Flash forward to three months ago. I decide to move in with a coworker and a couple of his friends. Everything seems cool, rent is good, it's a four bedroom house.
Without getting into too many details, giant parties, huge messes, no one else cleans anything, there is garbage all over the back yard, front yard littered with cigarettes, just last night some drunk broke our kitchen window (it's fucking cold) and my roommate (whos friend caused the damage) just left the glass where it is (day 3).
I want to get out of this house ASAP but I'm on a lease. What can I do?
:: | Roommates party too hard, leave garbage and food waste all around the house, and never take part in cleaning up. How do I move out without wrecking rental history? |
t3_39at1n | relationships | Update! - I (33F) just found out that my boyfriend (35M) of 2 years has been cheating on me with a 20 year old (f) | [original post](
First, thanks for the support, everyone. I really appreciate it.
So I talked to my landlord and my now ex - my landlord was extremely understanding, and he let me off the lease. He said my ex can either keep the apartment for himself, or pay rent until he finds another tenant. Now I just need to find a place to live because I was supposed to be moving soon...it's another thing to add to the list of things currently stressing me out at the moment but I know it can be done.
I don't know why but I asked him why he did it and he said he couldn't give me a reason other than because he wanted to. He kept begging me to forgive him but I really can't do that. I can forgive a lot of things but I can't forgive this. I told him it was over for good and that I don't want to speak to him anymore.
I also talked to the girl he was cheating with. She contacted me on FB and told me everything that happened. I almost feel worse for her than I do for myself, if that even makes sense. I made sure she knew that I was not mad at her. Seeing all the pictures of her and him together during times when I thought he was doing something else pretty much ripped my heart out again though. I told her to make sure she gets tested for STDs since he and I didn't use condoms.
Emotionally, I still feel horrible. I just can't believe that I had no idea about this for an entire year. I don't know how I didn't see it? But I just didn't have any reason not to trust him... we didn't live together, so if he said he was out somewhere I believed him because like I said I just didn't have a reason not to. | Broke up with my boyfriend, got out of the lease, talked to the girl he was cheating with and let her know that I am not angry with her at all |
t3_36a305 | relationships | My [25/m] girlfriend [23/f] said 'I love you' last night. I didn't say it back. | I have been dating my girlfriend for two months. I can honestly say that I have never felt this way about anyone before. Last night we were at a bar, and she told me she something she wanted to tell me. She leaned in, kissed me, and told me she loved me. I didn't know how to react. I still don't know what to do. What's funny is that things have been so unbelievably good with her that I actually wondered if maybe this was it for me, if she would be the one for me. I can't say that now. I was (am?) going to ask her to move in with me soon when my current lease runs out. I've never lived with a significant other before, and until now I have never wanted to.
I've never loved anyone before. I don't know how I'm supposed to be able to tell. She was upset last night and we talked about it until she told me she didn't want to discuss it any more and fell asleep. We talked a little more today before she left for work. She's really hurt and believes that it means she's not good enough for me, or that there's something she's doing wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth but I can't convince her of that.
I don't want to lose her, I don't want to do anything besides make her as happy as I can and spend my time with her. I realize that doesn't carry the same weight as "I love you." She really meant it too, I have not known her for all that long but I know her well enough to be sure that she wouldn't say it frivolously. She told me that she doesn't regret saying it and won't apologize for it, but she doesn't want to talk about it anymore and wants things to go back to the way they were before. She says she ruined things. She didn't, but I feel like I am killing our relationship a little more with each word I say to her.
I apologize if this is a little incoherent. | My girlfriend of two months told me she loves me. I'm extremely happy that she feels that way but don't know how to react and I'm making it worse by trying to talk about it with her. |
t3_2c1ry3 | weddingplanning | MIL to be passed this year. Should I still do Father-Daughter Dance? | Hi! I should start by saying that I don't expect anyone to make this decision for me. However, I can't escape my own perspective, and I would like to hear other points of view.
My fiance and I have been engaged since December 2012. We both wanted a long engagement, and we will be getting married on November 8th this year. Ever since we first got engaged, we both said we wanted both a Daddy-Daughter dance and a Mother-Son dance. I want the wedding to be as much about his family as about mine.
But tragedy struck in April and his mother passed away suddenly. It was completely unexpected and horrible. It still hurts both of us very much, although we try to talk about her as much as possible.
So, should I carry on with the Daddy-Daughter dance? I don't want it to create a sad, awful moment for my fiance. But I also don't want to let down my dad. I think my dad would understand, but I also think he's been dreaming about my wedding longer than I have.
Any advice or thoughts are so very welcome. Thanks! | mother-in-law to be passed away this year. Should we have a Daddy-Daughter Dance, or leave it alone? |
t3_mkw3y | loseit | Sometimes failure can be a motivator too | Hello /r/loseit. First time poster here (been lurking). I just wanted to share - for the first time since I can remember, I don't want to cry when I step on the scale. My best friend married in August, and I was asked to be a groomsman. I made a goal with myself when he proposed that I was going to lose 50 pounds by his wedding. I failed miserably and had gained 10. I was 260 pounds and the largest I had ever been in my life. I managed to put on a brave face, but the entire weekend I couldn't get over how great everyone else looked.
After that weekend, I stopped telling myself that "I can't." For years, "I can't run" was my excuse, and that Monday I ran 2 miles. To be fair, I downloaded the C25K app and there was walking involved in those 2 miles. It was painful, but I ran every time the app told me to. 2.5 months later, I'm still running. Tonight I ran week 5 (8 min run, 5 min walk, 8 min run) and after my shower I stood on the scale; 238 pounds. I am doing this. It's really happening. | I felt like a cow at my best friend's wedding so I started running and I've dropped 22 pounds in 2.5 months. |
t3_2o5kir | relationships | Sometimes I [21M] eat dinners with friend [22F] who my GF [20F] knows I once liked. Don't want GF to be jealous. Advice? | My girlfriend [20F] and I have been together for a while now. Most of it has been long distance. Due to just casual conversation before we were ever dating, my girlfriend knows that I liked another girl at Uni for some time a while ago. The thing is, this girl and I are still pretty good friends (although I have no remaining degree of attraction to her) and grab dinner in the dining hall a fair bit to catch up, as I do with all my friends. Truly nothing out of the norm. That's the extent of it. Nothing romantic ever came close to happening with this friend in the past.
I'm a bit concerned about my girlfriend being worried when she comes home though. On one hand, I don't want to throw away a (very casual) friendship with someone, but I also don't want my girlfriend to feel jealous if I'm having dinner with this friend she knows I once liked (and who my girlfriend doesn't particularly like very much). Is there any way for me to mitigate this?
Someone on here might ask why I'm concerned if there's truly nothing to be worried about with this friend or question if my girlfriend is insecure. Both are not true. Rather, if I were in her situation I could imagine feeling a bit uncomfortable and wouldn't want her to have to feel that way. But maybe that's my own problem... | Girlfriend [20F] knows I liked another girl at Uni before her. Nothing ever came close to coming from it. Still friends with girl. Want to not cause any tension. Advice? |
t3_2dgdjt | relationships | Me [26 M] with my gf [23 F] of 17 months, she invested a lot into me and now is finding it hard to find energy for me | My gf (call her Samantha) and I had a great relationship but hit a bad patch because I started to seek recognition in my sporting activity in the form of another girl. We ended up breaking up in March and I slept with the girl. I had emotionally cheated on Samantha in the lead up but then realised what I really wanted.
I told Samantha what had happened and that I was willing to win her back. I fully admit that I didn't deserve it but said I would do what it takes. Fast forward to now and I have done everything I can to win her back. The trouble is that we have developed a sort of power balance where she has all control and she is finding it hard to invest in me because of the amount she invested in me.
I know that we work well together and I know that I want her. We have talked about it and we both agreed that the power balance is wrong and that is part of why she has less attraction for me.
So my question is: what can I do to help her regain that energy for me? | Past issues have meant that my gf finds it hard to invest in me. How do I get back my lovely girl? What can I do to help her regain that energy for me? |
t3_wtwsp | relationships | Found out boyfriend has been exchanging sexually explicit emails w/ transgender | My boyfriend (29) and I (23 f) have been dating for a little over 6 months and made it official about 2 months ago. I moved in with him about 2 weeks ago. He was married for 3 years, divorced a couple years ago due to his wife cheating on him. I have noticed he constantly seeks reassurance from others that he is sexually appealing, or "enough"
Recently he went through my text messages looking for who knows what. He didn't find anything. My experience has taught me that usually when people are doing shady things, they project them on to you. So I looked through his phone. Found out he had been dating someone the whole time him and I were. He lied to me about this woman when I had asked if they were dating. In any case, it had ended shortly before we became "official" so I let it go and blamed me being upset because I was under the assumption that he was an angel.
I got the feeling there was more upon inspecting his computer, he still kept in touch with women he met online and has Skype sex with. Sending messages about how he still fantasizes about them, etc. I also found shemale porn. Then I see his Facebook messages and see he has been exchanging sexually explicit emails with a male to female transgender.
I confronted him about it and he felt awful and understood that he was wrong and apologized. He assured me he does want to be with me and build a life with me.
I am left feeling extremely insecure and untrusting of this man who has been openly planning a serious future with me that involves marriage etc.
I am normally very open sexually, willing to experiment, comfortable and able to orgasm. Since these things have happened I do not enjoy bejg physical with him and I cannot orgasm.
I know that a man watching she male porn or being interested in it does not make him a homosexual. I have explored with him, I have used strap ons on him. I have been open. But the fact that he is seeking a transgender makes me feel like I am not enough. That he wants more, that maybe he does want to be with a man. That maybe Our relationship is just a front. | My boyfriend has been exchanging sexually explicit emails with a male to female transgender. Should I be worried about his sexual preference? If not, how can I work through is? |
t3_3d83l5 | relationships | I [m] feel incredibly anxious and rather awful after speaking to other women. | I've been with my girl friend for 14 months and I really do adore her. She's been so good to me and has supported me through thick and thin.
As with any SO there is a sense of property where one might think, "Hey thats mine! Don't touch!" or just jealousy. I totally understand both of these things as I have experienced them myself. My girlfriend is very possessive of our relationship and can get very jealous very fast. She is rather emotional. Her father cheated on her mother and left at an early age which causes her to detest lying. If anything seems even remotely off to her she will shut down. There are times where I've done nothing and she will display this reaction causing a rift between us for a brief time. Since I go to university while she is in her last year of high school, she us very suspicious of any weird activity especially regarding other girls. She gets defensive and somewhat cold towards me if I mention a girl I met as friends or other happenstance events. She reads into a lot of my actions and words which causes anxiety and doubt on her end. She has repeated this behavior each time a girl has come into question or she suspects me of lying. Its gotten to the point where I feel very nervous after speaking to another girl over social media or in person. I feel like I am hurting her and I am so worried of her reactions since I know it will be like a bomb going off.
What can I do? | I feel extremely uncomfortable talking or hanging out with other women since my girlfriend is very possessive and sensitive to our relationship. I feel like I am hurting her talking to other girls sometimes and I dont know how to shake the feeling off. |
t3_264f9t | legaladvice | Overtime labor law issue. [Virginia] | My employer (which is a retail giant, I don't know if I can name them but it's pretty obvious) I believe is cheating us out of pay we deserve to be getting. Basically my shift is understaffed and we cannot get our work done, not to mention having to do the work of other shifts. Most nights the manager on duty will come in at an hour till our shift end time and say "You all are not allowed to leave until everything is done." and then proceed to give us more tasks to do. We sometimes stay as late as 1-3 hours late finishing these tasks. However, at the end of the week, we are forced to leave early or take longer lunches to shave or kill this overtime so we don't cross 40 hours. We are threatened with being written up or fired if we get any overtime, but we are also threatened with the same thing if we leave at our shift end time if the work is not done(which every shift does our shift just picks up their slack but they don't get into any trouble.) From my understanding, I am allowed to leave at that time, they can't make me stay late, but they threaten us by saying our work isn't done. My real question is, can an employer say, "You need to stay late and finish these tasks" obviously allowing you to gain OT but then make you kill it later in the week by leaving early or taking longer lunches? | Can my employer allow overtime early in the week but then make you leave early or take a longer lunch to shave or kill the OT at the end of the week so you don't work more than 40 hours? |
t3_2zxxl6 | relationships | Is my [38M] co-worker's [21M] relationship with my daughter [6F] appropriate? | I have three children. Two of them are male, ages 14 and 10, and my daughter is 6. I work at a church, so I'm there on the weekends, and my kids come with me because my wife also works weekends. We've been around the church for a long time, and they know a lot of people there, so they're rarely bored.
I've known John (named changed, obviously) for about three years. He was a student in the youth group I worked at, and came back as a leader after he graduated and started going to college nearby. He also recently got hired by the church to do janitorial work during the week, and he's there on the weekends as well.
On the weekends, I've noticed that they've started to spend more time together. She goes looking for John when we get there and almost always hugs him when she finds him. He asks her about her week, how school's going, things like that. Also, every now and then, he'll give her a Hershey's Kiss or a piece of gum and tell her it's a secret between them (but Dad has ways of finding this stuff out).
Her school had spring break last week, so she was there with me during the day on Wednesday, and John was there as well, cleaning the building. According to Sarah, she spent about an hour with him, "helping" him wipe down tables in the lobby, take out the trash, all the things he normally does. I practically had to pull her away from his side when we left, and he mentioned to me that he really enjoyed having her with him as he was working. John also joked about wanting to borrow her on Friday (my day off) so she could keep him company. I mentioned all of the above stuff to my wife and she didn't seem too concerned, but I'm still not sure.
What do you think, /r/relationships? Should I be concerned about John? | 21 year old male co-worker is very friendly with my 6 year old daughter. Is he a pervert or am I too paranoid? |
t3_3c6ktr | relationships | How do I [27M] break up with my girlfriend [24F] of one year who has no idea this is coming? | I have an absolutely loving, wonderful, giving, beautiful, funny girlfriend that guys absolutely pine over who I have zero feelings for.
We started off like any good relationship, being obsessed with each other, having her on my mind every day, always touching each other whenever we were together and just finding endless things to talk about.
Our sex is amazing, she's the funniest girl I've ever dated and at about six months in I told her I loved her. I haven't felt anything like what I felt for her in a very long time and she told me too. It was such a moment for me I even cried because I had no idea I had feelings like that in me.
Fast forward to now, she is still every bit the person I met when I started dating her. But for some reason that feeling is gone. She's still funny, wants to see me, good to be around but the spark is gone. I don't feel anything towards her. I miss her from time to time but most of the time my mind is elsewhere.
And this is the troublesome thing. She thinks we're exactly where we were six months ago. She's making all these plans (that I was planning with her too with the same level of enthusiasm) except now I don't know how I'm going to go through with them.
I feel like I need to break up with her because I'm leading her on. I'm not sure why I don't have feelings for her anymore (I haven't met anyone else or anything like that). But I have absolutely no idea how. She's so happy to talk to me and be with me I know its going to crush her and she's going to clam up tighter than a shell.
So how do I do this as respectfully, politely and tactfully as I can? We have mutual friends and I know its going to be shit but what else can I do? | gf of one year who is in love with me and perfect in everyway i've fallen out of love with and need to break up with. how do i do this in the best way possible? |
t3_30imdl | relationships | I [22M], am having doubts about/think i got into my relationship for the wrong reason with my girlfriend [24F] of two and half years. | My girlfriend and I have been together for two and a half years now, we have been relatively happy and had an overall healthy relationship...
We started dating two and a half years ago when i was going through extreme anxiety and depression, i honestly thought a cause for both of these was that i was lonely. So naturally i sought out a significant other to make me feel less lonely. It didn't really solve the problems but she was extremely supportive throughout the whole thing, and a year later i was completely over the anxiety and depression. Over that year i developed a lovely relationship with her, and i learned to care for her deeply.
However, once my anxiety and depression ended, i started to notice that i was having less fun with her, i was more eager to do the things i was doing before anxiety and depression took over. Less eager to do things with her. So it's quickly turned into me being sort of annoyed when im with her. On top of all this we both live very busy lives, we are both art majors at a school in Vermont, and constantly have work to do where we are only seeing eachother a couple times a week.
I've been considering asking for a break, to really sort things out. And this is where my question comes into play... Can you have a break like this, especially one that will be super one sided (she will not want to do it, she's really attached) and go back to having a normal relationship after? I feel like our relationship will not be as strong.
The other option is just a complete break up and have it be done and over with.
Has anyone been in similar situations that can offer some advice? | Relationship with GF is at a dull point/not wanting to hang out with her as much. Is asking for a short term break out of the question? Or is completely breaking up a better solution? |
t3_4o57ie | relationships | Me [36 M] with my ex-girlfriend's [37 F] brother duration 3 years - Broke up with Girlfriend, but was friends first with brother for 6 years. He is pissed at me. | So I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. We were both previously divorced. She changed as a person, started giving me a hard time about working late and hanging out with my friends. Decided to end it. My ex-wife was controlling and I was a little bitch who let her. I promised myself that I would never be controlled in a relationship again.
I manned up, met her in person, apologized and said that it wasn't working out and that I wished things were different. Broke up 3 months ago. There was no cheating (that I am aware of anyway!), no abuse from anyone... it just wasn't right anymore - we barely even fought. I went no contact since that time. While she has texted me a few times since, I have not responded.
The problem:
Her brother was a casual friend. I was in a band with him for a bit a bit and he is friends with some mutual friends as well. I also go mountain biking with him and other friends. His wife set me up with his sister. I didn't know it was his sister, she just called it a blind date. I found out on that date, but I was having a good time and decided to continue on. I don't think I would have gone on the date if I knew it was his sister.
I found out from a mutual friend that he is pissed at me and refuses to hang out with me in the future.
My question is, should I contact him and try and smooth things over? Or should I just continue to let things settle down? I wasn't mean or anything during the break up. I have a feeling his wife is just being a jerk. I just don't want to cause problems between the rest of the few friends I have and barely see. I am alone most of the time when I don't have my boys with me and don't want to lose more friends.
Any advice is super appreciated. | Broke up with Girlfriend. Her brother was a friend longer. He is pissed. Should I talk to him? Not sure what to say to try and smooth things over. |
t3_m0k34 | AskReddit | Why is weakness considered such a negative trait? | I'm serious in asking this. I realize it seems like a stupid question, but something I've noticed in society and interpersonal relationships is that if you need help or present yourself as desperate or "weak", people really want nothing to do with you. Why, though?
I mean, when my friends have needed someone to talk to or help through difficult times, I've been there, supported them, etc. But when I've had difficult times, really bad fucking times, I am accused by them of giving them too much drama to deal with, and they basically stop being my friend after awhile.
Same thing with relationships. As long as you're strong, hold your own, support the other person, you're fine, but the minute you look like "you haven't got your shit together", the other person is ready to bolt.
And in searching for jobs, if we're honest and just say, I am desperate for work...people don't want to hire you. So you have to put up a front and basically act like you're self-reliant no matter what.
I guess what I'm wondering is, why is it so admired by society to be self-reliant and not need anyone else's help or support...when all of us clearly do need one another to thrive as human beings...
It's a stupid question ultimately, but I still can't understand why. I was raised a spoiled only child, and that probably has something to do with it. I was rewarded anytime I asked or begged for something, and then I realized the rest of the world doesn't work that way. | I think by making ourselves appear self-reliant and not needing anything from others so as not to be "weak", we limit our honest interactions with one another and our ability to support each other. |
t3_266v97 | offmychest | The happiest I've ever been in my life was the time I spoke to a homeless man and gave him money | When I was in the UK, I spent about two hours talking to a homeless man in Edinburgh, and even though I was well off, I told him I had very little money so he'd be more honest. In the end, he told me his story, I told him mine, and I paid for the electricity and rent for his apartment.
(He had one, but was being kicked out for being behind on the rent, and he had no job, was cut off from welfare, etc etc. He used to spend all the money on booze, but cleaned up).
It was one of the best moments in my life. Just sitting there, discussing life and ethics with someone who most people would ignore, while smoking my corn-cob pipe. I would do this more often; but the homeless people I see in the states are usually about 5 minutes from stabbing you in the eye with a syringe.. The ones in the UK are really personable; provided you're not in a horrible area of town.. | if you get the chance, talk to a homeless person, they are fascinating. Wear some tattered clothes, and blend in with them. It's tremendously enlightening. |
t3_4a05ao | relationships | Me (28/F) with my BF (30/M) of over a year keeps lying about smoking and I am not sure if this is a major red flag. | In our pasts my SO and I used to be smokers (before we dated). When we first met, we enjoyed smoking together and talking outside getting to know each other. This only lasted about a month before we both decided we didn't want to pick up the habit anymore. I have stayed with this decision (for certain medical reasons especially) but he has wavered.
A few months back, I was snooping a bit and found a pack of cigarettes in his dresser. I confronted him and he said he only didn't tell me because he knew they bothered me, especially after my health scare. I told him I get this but really didn't want to worry about him lying to me in the future. If he wanted to smoke, just tell me. We bought a pack together about two months ago and that was it.
Fast forward to today when I find another pack and a receipt showing he bought them a few days ago and has not told me again. I obviously can't confront him (I don't want to be seen as a snoop, though I know I obviously was) but I am so angry. I have never caught him in any other lie besides this one but to repeat the same lie when we talked about it really hurts.
It just makes me wonder if he can lie about something small and not feel bad about it, what would stop him from something bigger. I feel like this distrust is going to fester and I don't know how to handle it.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? | So keeps lying (by omitting the truth) about buying cigarettes and it makes me question his honesty in all aspects of the relationship. |
t3_1x9cqi | relationships | My(26) BF's(29) father lost his job, BF wants to move in with them to help | Boyfriend(29) and I(26) have been dating for 5+ yrs. We have a son. We were planning to buy a house later this year. We had some money saved, plus we let his parents borrow $3500 a few months ago that would be repaid(now I don't think we'll be seeing it again). Then, his father(let's call him Asius?) lost his job.
Asius and his wife(Leda) both worked, but Asius was the main breadwinner. Leda works for the government making $33k/yr. BF has us moving in with them to help, instead of having our own apartment. Their mortgage is $1300/mo, both cars paid off, no other debts that I know of.
Basically, I don't want to live with them. I wonder if they could live off what they have or if we'd put them in a bad position if we don't live with them and pay rent? Asius could probably get unemployment benefits, I'm not sure. I guess my biggest gripe is that Leda, and Asius to an extent, spend money on needless things. Cable tv plus netflix, multiple vacations a year, eating out every week, random expensive stuff. BF and I live almost on the basic necessities, though we do spend sometimes. So obviously it would aggravate me to see them continue to waste money(granted, it's not like they buy diamonds and new cars) right in front of us while we live our frugal lives. They also expect us to do errands and stuff for them because we're younger.
Should I try living with them for a while? Let them get through this own their own? What do you think? Am I being selfish?
I sort of hate my life right now. I'm sure I'd hate it even more if I had to live under someone else's roof like a child. I really need that safe haven of my own, where I feel secure and comfortable. I know everyone isn't like that. | BF's father(breadwinner) lost his job. BF wants us to move in with them to help out. I wonder if they can survive without us? |
t3_3pdmoo | pettyrevenge | Don't wave your hand inches from my face | Just happened mins ago.
Just got off a long shift at work, and I get to the train station only to realize my next train home isn't for another hour. No biggie, i got my head phones and reddit on my phone, i can kill an hour. So I'm leaning against a wall out of everyone's way, face burried in my galaxy, surrounded by MTA agents who work at the station. All of a sudden there's a hand violently waving inches from my face. I look up and see this woman looking agitated that I didn't immediately acknowledge her presence signaling for me to remove my ear buds. I oblige, and calmly say "Yes?" She asks me how to get down to the street from the upper platform we were on with out taking the elevator. So I sent her down to the train platform, and all the way down to the opposite end than the stairs she was looking for where there is no exit. Enjoy your walk bitch. | woman i didnt notice waved her hand in my face to get my attention to tell her where the stairs are so i sent her to the opposite side of the train station. |
t3_pf1ja | dating_advice | 19[M] Been on two dates, trying to avoid the friendzone. | No long story really. I met a girl at ballroom dancing club and asked her out to lunch. The conversation was mediocre, but I had fun and am still interested. I get the feeling that both of us are a bit awkward which explains the poor conversation.
Today, I text her asking how her weekend was and she responds and ask if I want to grab lunch. Conversation was better than the last time, but I get the feeling I am moving towards the friendzone based upon some of the conversation. Specifically, she asked if I wanted to see Star Wars in 3D with her and maybe some of her friends. She specifically mentioned one of her roommate's (male) friends as going.
As a quick background on me, I have never been in a relationship or even kissed anyone. These two dates have been my first. I'm just winging it currently. | What can I do while seeing the movie or plan as a date to firmly move away from the friendzone and towards the relationship zone? |
t3_1d87xj | relationships | My bf (26) is going to take tango classes with another woman(?). Should I be worried? | My bf (26) moved to another city and doesn't know anyone there. He wants to take dancing classes and is now looking for a new partner via sites like okcupid and pof. He has had sex with his previous tango partner even though he was not attracted to her at all, he says. (we weren't officially in a relationship back then and this was 1 year ago. I only found out about this a couple of weeks ago.)
I (25) am not only asking advice for my situation in particular, I would like to know if you would feel comfortable. Am I the problem here? | bf is gonna take tango classes. He is looking for a dance partner on okcupid, because he doesnt know anyone in the city. Is this okay? |
t3_12bbur | relationships | I [M20] cheated on my girlfriend [F19] with my ex [F22]. My girlfriend now knows, how do I win her back? | I [M20] cheated on my girlfriend [F19] with my ex [F22]. My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year.
I cheated on her this summer. My ex had invited me to spend the weekend with her at her house (we were friends and I wanted to go). I told my girlfriend about it and my girlfriend told me she was uncomfortable with me going and would really prefer if I didn't go. I got really mad at her and we didn't talk for a few days. During those days, I went to my ex's house and I slept with my ex.
I didn't tell my girlfriend because I knew it would hurt her if she knew and I really love my girlfriend. I don't want our relationship to end because I was incredibly stupid one weekend.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. One of my friends is talking to my girlfriend. He asks how our relationship is going and she says that it's good. He responds that he's surprised, given what had happened this summer. She, of course, has no idea what he's talking about. And he tells her (not realizing she didn't know) that I had slept with my ex.
My girlfriend then confronts me, asking me if it's true. I tell her the truth. I tell her everything. She tells me she needs some space and time to think. We haven't spoken since.
I don't even know what I was thinking. I don't have feelings for my ex, I don't even think my ex is attractive. I love my girlfriend. I can't believe I did this. How do I win her back? | I [M20] cheated on my girlfriend [F19] of one year with my ex [F22]. How do I earn her forgiveness and win her back? |
t3_3mw808 | personalfinance | Mother is dying, I am trying to prepare while I am still in a strong emotional state. What should I do with her property? | Hopefully this is the correct place to post this, but maybe it would be better suited for /r/legaladvice or some real estate subreddit. Anyways, My mother is not long for this world (chronic smoker her whole life, and is now suffering the consequences) and I know I need to get some of her affairs in order while I still have the mental capacity to do so.
Here is the situation (to the best of my knowledge):
She owns a mobile home and a couple acres of land (she owes nothing on them). Her condition has gotten to the point where she will need to move in with me and will require in home care. She basically has no assets aside from the land since the mobile home is in pretty bad condition (could probably get it condemned). She is on disability and medicaid with no other source of income.
My main concern is what will happen to the property when she passes? I can only assume the bills for her care will grow pretty large in the coming months before her passing and I am currently under the impression that the state will seize whatever assets she has upon her death since they are footing the bill for the majority of her medical expenses. Is this true? Can she sign it over to someone before she passes? The land is really not worth that much and I would hate to see it leave our family but I am not in a position to pay anything market value for it. | My mother with no income who relies on the state for income is dying and I am not sure what options (if any) we have with her assets |
t3_wd82l | AskReddit | Is rape really worse than murder? Details inside | So recently I was made aware of this whole [Daniel Tosh thing] where he essentially got into a little spat with a girl about a rape joke that he told. She didn't like it, he shot back, and after joking that the girl be raped by several men, she and her friend left. This soon prompted a flurry of discussion, and a (some might say half-hearted) apology from Tosh.
My Facebook has exploded with my female friends citing their outrage at Tosh, but my first thought was, "what if he has said murder?" I mean, rape is a tragic, disgusting thing to happen to anyone, but if he had said "wouldn't it be funny if this girl got murdered right now" rather than raped, would there be this big of a response? For some reason, as bad as rape is in my male mind, I can't quite reconcile how this is worse than taking of a life, yet killing, murdering, and all that are sort of second hand in our culture now. What do you think?
Am I crazy to think that maybe the world is over reacting, and how did something like rape and not murder, or torture, or domestic abuse (all of which effect countless people every day) become such a hot button issue? | Tosh takes a rape joke a bit too far (maybe) and gets lambasted, but why aren't other serious crimes taken up with such intensity and furvor? |
t3_19kbib | BreakUps | What do I [m16] do.. [f16][f18] | Hey guys, just looking on some insight on what to do since I'm kind of lost. :/
I dated C for about 1 year (F16). It was amazing, and I could say she was my first love. Things sparked from the start and things were awesome. The way we acted around each other, the way we trusted each other, and just how comfortable we were with one another. We shared a lot of firsts, if you know what I mean and we grew really attached to each other. I could see myself dating her for a long time, until about the end of January.
Few months prior, things have gotten kind of ehh. Been fighting more often, and things in general have not been AS smooth as before. She became really reliant on me in a very unhealthy way in my opinion, so with that coupled with the fact that I wanted to experience other people lead me to break up with her. I was pretty clear that I wanted for both of us to meet new people, and to learn to be happy alone.
That's when I met S [F18] a few weeks later after the break up. We started talking, got closer, and I developed a little bit of a crush on her and vice versa. We started hanging out more and more, and we ended up kissing quite a few times. A few days ago we even ended up doing it and I don't know how I honestly feel about it.
Now the thing is I like S, but I don't love her. There's just things about her that she does, or doesn't, that I would want in a girl. To be honest, I keep comparing S to C, and I end up feeling like I took for granted what C did for me. I keep getting thoughts that I Want to get back together with C, but I don't know if that would be the smart choice tbh..
I'm pretty lost. Don't really know what to do. Help would be much appreciated, PMing if you would like more details to help would be great | Dating F16 for year, break up, meet new girl few weeks later, get closer, blah blah blah, end up thinking about F16 again and thinking i took what we had for granted. |
t3_2d8gfv | tifu | TIFU by fainting in a maths exam | Before we begin there are a few things you should know about me. Firstly, I've never fainted before but I was feeling a bit ill (not sure what with). I'm also slightly ginger so heat and I don't go well together although I can usually cope with it.
I'm a relatively bright guy and maths usually isn't much of a problem to me and so I didn't have many worries going into the exam, especially considering I'd done a fair amount of revision and not run into too much difficulty.
The exam was in the morning and there was also another exam going on at the same time so in total around a hundred people were in the exam hall, most of whom I'd never spoken to before.
The exam was going fairly well until the last half hour or so where I started to panic slightly as I realised I was unlikely to finish. This was also the point where I realised I forgot to bring water; probably my downfall as it was getting rather sweaty in the hall.
After a few minutes I could no longer concentrate at all so I asked to step outside. By this point I was pretty light-headed and so as soon as I stood up I felt myself falling and then BAM. Fainted just before I could reach the doors and next thing I saw was the entirety of the hall looking at me in a mixture of shock, slight sympathy and "oh look, who's that idiot who just fainted in a maths exam?" | had an exam, was quite hot, forgot to bring water, got stressed and fainted in front of many people I didn't know |
t3_1morts | relationship_advice | How can I stop resenting my partner for something that's not their fault? | Here are the facts:
(1.) My partner and I are around the same age and live together, but
(2.) I've graduated from college and have a full time corporate job, and they are still going to school and working a part-time minimum wage retail job.
(3.) I make twice what they make, and so I try to cover as much of the shared grocery/household expenses as I can.
(4.) I work a consistent schedule, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays (with a commute that is one hour either way, so more like 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.), whereas they mostly work mornings and on weekends and go to school at night on weekdays, coming home late around 9 or 10 p.m.
Because of this arrangement, it seems to work out that I have become BOTH the primary breadwinner AND the homemaker, coming home from what feels like a 10 hour day just to make dinner for my partner and then go to bed. Neither of has much time or energy to clean (although my partner does dishes usually! I am very grateful for that) and so the house is kind of a mess, and when I get home, I often consider spending the few hours of free time I have before I make dinner cleaning the house, but it just exhausts me to even look at it.
I love my partner very much, and I know my partner would contribute more (financially and physical housework-wise) if they could, and that they even feel bad for being so busy and are incredibly stressed from having to pay their way through college and work so much, but I can't help getting really frustrated about bearing what feels like the brunt of the shared relationship duties. | because of time/financial reasons I am both the breadwinner and the homemaker in my relationship and it really stresses me out |
t3_32dl6a | relationships | Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [23 M]: Did any of you men (or you girl's husbands) think you'd marry later on in life, but did so sooner when you found the right person? | First of all, I am not irrational or dramatic, clingy or anything the like (just a bit of context :) )
My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 2 years, through some classes in university, and what not. We weren't really friends but we started seeing each other more over summer last year, and finally became a couple at the beginning of the year. We're both in our early 20s, as per the title.
We both grew up and still live in the same city in Spain, Spanish families and whatnot and have more or less the same upbringing and families. As you know, Spain is very different from, say, America or more "open minded" countries. Overall, it really is a great relationship and I adore the fact that we're both very nondramatic and communicative.
A couple weeks ago we were discussing some issues we had and quite offhandedly we came across the topic of marriage. He mentioned that he doesn't want to be married until his 30s and that we probably won't get married. We both had never really dated before, so we're pretty new to relationships. This guy isn't playing with me, as I've met his family, his friends and overall I know he loves me, respects me and is serious about me.
I'd never really thought seriously of marrying him because of our short relationship, but I also know that this is something that is really important to me and that I always knew I wanted to marry more or less at 25.
**The real thing here is...As all mighty and knowledgeable men: Do you think with time and with actually realizing he's with a good woman, compatible with him and everything, he might think differently about marriage? He has it really clear that he does want a wife and family (ie, he's not at all opposed to marriage), but his idea at the moment is that this will be later on in life. He also has several young married friends and cousins, so it's not something he is "kept away" from. | We're both in our early 20s, I want to marry young and he not so much. Did you think you'd marry in your 30s but did so sooner when you found the right girl? |
t3_3gdbat | relationships | Me [17 M], have trouble feeling secure around other people. | When I was young I remember my parents fighting a lot and being very critical of my behavior in many ways. I sort of turned into a "good" polite kid and suppressed my self in many situations.
Since then my parents have divorced, and remarried, and then divorced again. I'm not sure exactly how this has affected me but I think that *maybe* my own feelings were neglected because my parents were very young when they had me (17/18) and so I guess I adapted to not needing anyone.
Now I feel very tense around my parents and don't feel like I can talk to them. I feel like they are there to judge my actions. I can tell that they really do love me but it's hard for me to reciprocate and things like hugs and saying "I love you" feels very strange for me. This distance carries over to all of my friendships as well, and I feel like I have to force myself to smile and make people know that I care about them.
Often when I am sitting with my friends (who are also somewhat avoidant) I feel the urge to hug them and tell them I love them but it seems impossible. But when I am with people who are more forward with their feelings I get annoyed and close off.
I'm just wondering if I can change. | I distance myself from those I care about but when I get closer it feels weird. I don't like doing this but it's the only way I know how, possibly because of my childhood. |
t3_32vjmw | relationships | How to get over a girl [F19] when you see her every day? | I [M19] have had very strong feelings for a girl for two years now. Our parents are good friends so we grew up together. I never really thought about her as anything other than a friend until I was 17. We were just talking in my bedroom one day (normal thing for us at the time) and we both said that we'd never kissed anyone. We ended up sharing our first kiss that day. Just like that, I was hooked. Eventually I told her I wanted to be together, she said (among other things) that she didn't.
We ended up getting into the same program at university. It's an advanced program in which there are only about 30 people. So I see her every single day. On top of that, our families get together on holidays as well. That is all to say, that she is everywhere I go. We still talk and stuff, but we have drifted apart a bit since university started (which is helping). But she is still in every lecture that I'm in, every lab, every tutorial. I can't transfer to a different uni, because this is the best program there is - I don't want to sacrifice my education for her.
I was dealing with it relatively well, but recently she started dating some guy. He's better than me in every way (taller, more attractive, stronger). They're always kissing. Always. It's ridiculous. It can't be healthy. I've dated two girls since university started. One simply couldn't hold a conversation, so that lasted like 3 dates. The other got back with her ex after 2 months. The hardest part is that every time I close my eyes I see this image of them together and it wont go away. It's been about a year since she rejected me. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to kill someone soon. | I have had feelings for a girl for 2 years now. I see her everyday, it's unavoidable. How do I get over her? |
t3_3ctoos | tifu | TIFU by thinking a door was open... | **This actually happened a few years ago.**
One summer, I was visiting my grandpa's house on my dad's side. He keeps his windows incredibly clean, so you can see where this is going. Anyway, it was the day after his birthday, and we had gotten him a new iPad. We came over to help him set it up. Anyway, I would play this incredibly stupid game where I opened his glass door, and repeatedly jumped through it to the other side. Later, I went inside, and helped him set up the iPad. Then, I went back outside to resume the super dumb time-killing game. What I didn't know, though, was that my grandpa had closed the door in the man time. I took a running start, jumped, and slammed against the glass door. It didn't break, but my thumb hurt like hell. Later that day, we were supposed to visit my grandparents on my mom's side, and stay for a few days. On our way, my thumb started hurting so bad with every movement that I couldn't even move it anymore. We decided to go to the hospital with my grandpa on my mom's side, after he picked us up. To make a long story short, we went to the hospital, and they diagnosed it as broken. I had to wear a full wrist cast for a while after that. I also play the piano, so you can imagine the struggle. | My grandpa's glass door is so crystal clear, I accidentally jumped into it. It wasn't the glass that broke. It was my thumb. |
t3_52249b | relationships | My [21F] friend [22M] got recorded through his iPhone camera and is now being threatened for money. | I apologize if this sounds a bit rushed or if this might not be the right place to post a question like this.
My friend was watching porn and soon after received a friend request from a stranger located in Asia. Somehow, this person found my friend's information and sent a video of him jerking off to his Facebook and is now demanding money. He sent the money.
I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to possibly help my friend in this situation. I never knew that hacking through someone else's camera would be possible. If this isn't the right place for this question, any advice would be greatly appreciated! | friend got recorded masterbating through his iPhone camera while watching porn and is now being threatened to send money or else the video will be uploaded |
t3_30jald | relationships | Me [22 F] been going out with a guy [25 M] for 2 weeks now and he still hasn't made a move | We've been out for maybe 5 dates now, we've only kissed once. He talks to me every day, and I'm trying not to be pushy all the while sending him signals, sometimes trying to dirty talk through text, but he can't seem to pick up on any of that. I've hinted many times that I want to have a night in with him, to which he replied: "we should definitely do that" but never really set a date to make it happen. He does give off the conservative vibe, before we first kissed he asked me if he could kiss me, and another time he asked if he could touch my leg while we were talking, in an attempt to be playful. Which I think is nice, but the whole situation is frustrating me and I want things to move forward, because it makes me feel that maybe I'm not sexually attracted to him because he's not working on it. | Going out with a really cute guy who's also into me, but who just wouldn't make a move to sleep with me, and it's making me feel frustrated. |
t3_2pzp7m | relationships | Self Esteem and Damaged Goods (20F with 20M) | I'm a college student (20F) that's been with her 20M boyfriend for nearly two years. He's absolutely perfect--smart, funny, caring, compassionate, etc. I, unfortunately, have little to offer him. I'm not attractive, I'm not very intelligent, we have none of the same hobbies or interests. Yet he loves me and wants to be with me indefinitely, and I'm certain I want to marry this man.
My question is this: if we were to break up, I'm afraid of being seen as damaged goods by every other man. We haven't had sex for two reasons--I'm terrified of the pain and I don't want to risk pregnancy even though I have several BC methods at my disposal. I understand that sex is necessary to keep a man around long-term, and I know he doesn't want to hurt me. But right now I'm just sort of waiting it out and buying as much time as possible.
Please help? I want to make him happy but I'm scared of being thought of as a slut by other men in the future (if this relationship doesn't work out) and I'm also afraid of getting hurt and being used.
Some other information: I'm a virgin, so is he. No sexual abuse history. No prior relationship experience on either side. He has never once pressured me into sex--he's willing to wait as long as I need, which makes me feel worse because I don't have much to offer him as a person. | College girl scared to have sex with long term boyfriend due to fear of pain and fear of being labeled a slut by subsequent men. |
t3_2oy7c1 | relationships | 2yrs. with sweet SO (21/M) but he's starting to bore me (20/F) | my boyfriend and i have been dating for two years now, since my freshman year of college. we knew each other in high school but things didn't heat up until after graduation. this is my longest relationship to-date and he is an amazing guy (sweet, respectful, supportive) but i'm starting to get bored.
not just bored with the relationship (yes, we do the same thing every time we hang out) but i'm worried that i'm bored with him. he has stopped pursuing an education since graduating high school (i realize that college/institutional learning isn't for everyone, but i think reading and learning about things you are passionate about is important for mental health & happiness). he is a hard worker (two jobs) and says all the right things when i talk about the future, but i can't help but feel like he's just telling me what i want to hear.
all of his friends do pretty much the same thing (work a few jobs, get high after work and game until morning) and i worry that nothing will change despite what he tells me. we don't have many common interests (the most significant being our relationship) but he adores me and assures me that he would never leave me. i don't want to break his heart, especially if i'm at all unsure -- i tend to discount emotions and worry that i'm being a heartless bitch.
any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. | 2 yr relationship with seeming unmotivated SO (21/M), worried he is boring me (20/F) |
t3_2xvveu | relationships | [21M] It's been 3 weeks, having troubles getting over her [23F]. | *Same breakup as the posts [here (10 days in)] and [here (5 days in)](
It's been three weeks. Well, more precisely, 23 days. In that time I've deleted her on facebook (though saving the over 44000-word conversation we had as some kind of archive deep in my computer), deleted her number, and generally kept no contact other than very formally (and coldly) wishing her a happy birthday last week.
I've started both an OKCupid and a Tinder, and I've been having conversations with girls on both, most of which have been pleasant experiences. I haven't gone on any dates, but this girl I've been texting from OKC seems interested and I could go for some companionship.
I'm still hurting. My life still has its ups and downs, and it's getting really hard to see the good parts of being single. At my absolute lowest, though I don't act on it, I very much feel that I want her back (even though reading through my past posts will have you convinced it's a bad idea). However, I acknowledge that this is most likely me missing the *companionship* instead of just missing her.
Fuck being single. No really, FUCK being single. Call me a serial monogamist, but I ENJOY having someone around to call my own. Someone to hang out with constantly, someone I can randomly text about how their day is going. My friends all stick to the sage advice of "it's better to be single than in a shitty relationship", but honestly I hate sleeping alone. I hate not having someone to cuddle with. Dreaming of her then waking up alone in the bed we shared is NOT a pleasant way to start the day.
I'm not really sure what my question is. I think I just want to know how long my life is going to be shitty like this, and how long it'll be before I know that my future relationships aren't rebounds. | I'm still hurting from my breakup 3 weeks ago, I want to get over her and on with my life. Fuck being single. |
t3_2clwnd | relationships | I (22f) am uncomfortable because of coworker (23m) and things he talks about. | Throwaway because I don't want work to find me. Names have all been changed for safety.
We've worked together less than 6 months. Tom has been here shortest, for about 2 months and has been a nuance the entire time.
My coworker, Tom (23m), has the tendency to make me uncomfortable. He has made sexist comments before, in front of our supervisor. Well, today he was asking the guys in my area for advice.
He was asking our supervisor, Bill (30s? M), and coworker, Damian (late 20s? M) for advice about cheating on his girlfriend. She is his second baby momma.
I'm pretty sure Bill and Damian were telling Tom not to cheat towards the end, but at first they seemed to be trying to help him. I think Bill was trying to get him to stop talking about it.
It made me extremely uncomfortable. Damian, Tom, and I work for a temp agency. I am considering going to our boss through the agency, as she is also hr for us. But I'm worried about going to her because I think that'll give her reason to fire me.
This is a workplace, not a hangout. These are not your friends. It is so unprofessional to talk about these things at work. | My(22f) coworker (23m) was asking coworker and supervisor advice on how to cheat on his girlfriend. I'm uncomfortable, but afraid temp agency will fire me if I report it. |
t3_2r1d8f | relationships | Me [22M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 2 months (best friends for 2 years), startet to play LoL at new years party :s | My very new official girlfriend is a gamer (im also a gamer, btw), and im having trouble "adapting" to this new lifestyle. My ex-gf's have never played videogames seriously like my current gf does, so there's a lot of things i really struggle with, but on new years eve something strange happened.
We were together at this party and everyone was having fun and getting drunk. After the fireworks, we were all pretty wasted and me and my GF where not hanging out together. I was talking to some people, and she was talking to some other people. Not a big deal, obviously. But after a while, i started looking for her and then i find her down in the basement playing League of Legends on the hosts computer with a couple of guys looking at her playing. I kinda freaked out a little bit, but didnt show anyone that i did because i didnt want to make a scene. So i just left the house with a friend for a little bit to calm myself down.
Now, my question is: Was i wrong in freaking out about this? The people at the party were all gamers too, and like i said, she was not down there alone. She was talking to those who sat there while she was playing etc... But I still cant shake the feeling that she shouldnt have done it. To me, this would've never been an option because i was at someone's party :s I just need some opinions here, because i dont know what to do...!
Sidenote: I have talked to her about it, and we both apologized for what happened and put it in the past. But i cant stop thinking about it, and i need help :o | Girlfriend started gaming at new years party, and i dont know if i was right or wrong when i freaked out about it. |
t3_2h5zel | relationships | Me [22 M] with my 22 F] and partying issues. | Me and my girlfriend who have just shortly started dating about 4 months ago have had a very healthy relationship and still do but we have very different view points currently on a situation.
She in her past relationship was very controlled by her ex and rarely spent time with her friends ever. She now spends a lot of time with her friends which I'm all for but my problem is the social setting. Almost every weekend / other weekend shes either at a party, club or a bar. I'm just uncomfortable because I rarely go out with my friends since we prefer to stay at home and because I dont feel a real need to since most people at these social gatherings / clubs are there for the sole sake of picking up the opposite sex. (On that note that's not necessarily true just my view ) Now I know her friends go just to dance or to the bar just for the sake of going out but I cant help but feel uncomfortable about her being surrounded by drunk guys constantly.
Her friends have all been there long before me so I dont want her to flop on there plans and hate me because I'm controlling. Her friends also are all single though so I can see why they would want to go to these gatherings despite my girlfriends reinsurance that they just love dancing / going out.
I'm just wondering if I'm being insecure and just move past the social setting and understand shes a very faithful person who would never cheat or am I justified in being uncomfortable with this all and what should I do? | I trust my girlfriend completely but shes constantly in social settings where she is drunk surrounded by drunk guys which does make me feel uncomfortable. I dnt want to restrict her and come off controlling and ruin her friendship with her friends. |
t3_zzncf | cats | cat lovers, i need help! introducing an older kitty and a kitten...details inside. | hello reddit! i have a seventeen year old calico named kitty. i moved to a different city for college a few years ago, and just finally got the chance to move kitty up here. before that, though, my friend's cat had kittens, and i took one from her out of the love of my heart. i named her skooma. skooma's been living with me for about four months, and she's only five months old.
i thought that introducing these cats would go much more smoothly than it did. can anyone give me some advice on how to acclimate them? they're both very protective of me, and skooma won't let me touch her. she will, however, rub her head around on my legs and make a chirpy noise. | my cats hate each other, one's almost six months and the other is seventeen. how can i get them to love each other? =] |
t3_3fdgis | relationships | Am I [21F] being unreasonable in expecting my boyfriend [21M] to make plans for our future? | My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years, since our freshman year of college. We are each other's first love and he is everything that I want in a partner: smart, caring, funny, respectful and handsome. We're going into our senior year and have started discussing the future.
We've both said that we'd like to stick together and continue dating in the long term. My dream has always been to get a PhD in political science, so I would like to either 1) spend a year or two abroad getting fluent in a foreign language or 2) get a masters degree and take language classes on the side. His dream is to get a year-long internship in our local city government and then apply to law school. Luckily our college gives graduates access to lots of great opportunities so I'm confident that we can find things that are close by and fulfil some, if not all, of our individual goals.
My worry is that my boyfriend seems unwilling/ unable to plan for his future. He doesn't seem to have made any steps towards securing his goals, or figuring out what he will do if they don't work out. I hate pressuring people, and I understand that at this age it's completely normal not to know what you want to do. But the reality is that if we don't start figuring out at least a general outline ( such as a list of possible locations/schools) it's likely that we'll end up very far away from each other with no end point in sight. I really don't want to do long distance.
I've tried to help out. I asked around my older friends and managed to get him a set of LSAT prep books and account details for a well-reviewed online prep course. I also researched some fellowships that would provide financial support for his internship. So far he hasn't really followed up on any of these, although he did tell me that the books looked good. Am I being unreasonable in my expectations? Should I take this as a sign that our relationship is not a priority to him and back off or should I try to prod him a little more? | my college sweetheart says he sees a future with me but won't make plans for when we graduate, should I take this as a bad sign? |
t3_1g3ph5 | relationships | I [m/29] have been dating girl [f/23] for a couple of months. Things have been going great but I was just laid off and am likely moving in 2 weeks. | I [m/29] met this girl a little over a year ago [f/23] and we dated briefly back then but lost touch for whatever reason. We ran in to each other a couple of months ago and started dating again. Things have been going great and I am really starting to like her but just two weeks ago I lost my job. I have a great opportunity a good distance away (17 hour drive, for reference) with limited prospects in the current city.
I've done long distance before and I have no problem doing it again. I'm not sure how she feels about that though and I'm not sure how I should bring it up. I guess since we are so new in to this I'm not sure if it would be foolish to think that a long distance relationship is feasible. I am leaving for the city in a couple of days to go interview but will be back soon after that. I have been honest with her about all this but deep down I have a strong feeling that I will be moving. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated. Thanks. | 29/m been dating 23/f for a couple of months. Laid off and probably moving, not sure how to approach the idea of continuing dating. |
t3_46yrbk | relationships | I've (20M) completely lost my libido, and it's ruining my ability to have relationships. | So, before we really start, I'm a 20 year old male. I'm certain of my attraction to women, long list of reasons. Anyways;
For the past 3 years, after my first real relationship (nearly a year long, end of grade 12 kind of deal) I have had literally no sex drive. Both girls I've been with (first was six months, second was a year and a couple) have left me because of my lack of sex drive. More recently even setting herself (18f) up with another guy before leaving me, making me feel even more damaged in the process.
I've tried bringing girls back to my apartment (I live with 2 roommates) to see if I could jumpstart my sexual desire, but I lose interest literally in the middle of sex and pretend to finish in order to get to stop. I feel awful afterwards, but I'll do this or get intoxicated every other night. It's either that or fight off urges to hurt myself. I'm extremely lost.
I've lost all of my close friends because of the girl who left me anyways (she was literally my best friend; figured we were in it for the long haul etc etc) and I haven't gotten along with my family in years. Now because of the multiple stunts my ex pulled and my lack of relationship with my family, I have no one to ask. So here it is Reddit; how do I fix this? Is there something definitively wrong with me? Would counselling or therapy do anything? | I can't get into sex, and I've lost multiple relationships to this. What do I do to resolve this? |
t3_h119y | AskReddit | Reddit, is anyone good friends with their ex girlfriend? | And I don't mean just a fling, I mean a truly meaningful relationship.
My ex-girlfriend and I dated all of senior year and we were each other's lives. When I left the east coast to go to college in LA we decided it be best to break up and 3 months later she began dating someone else. That was probably the hardest thing for me and although its been a couple of months and freshman year of college is almost over, I feel like I'm still not close to getting over my senior-year girlfriend. We sometimes talk and yesterday over the phone I told her I didn't think we could be friends and she immediately began to cry a lot and I couldn't help but feel horrible afterwards... despite the fact that I felt as though she betrayed me. Which I know she technically didn't because we were broken up...
Now I feel like there is a gaping hole in my life. I *do* want be friends but I don't know how to without torturing myself. | Had a serious relationship for a year... few months later I want to be friends but I don't know how without torturing myself. |
t3_54dg7f | self | I'm a perv and I just ruined my relationship. Please help. | I've been in a relationship for about 6 years now. I love my girlfriend with all my heart. But... I'm fucked in the head. I've had my third strike. First time I got caught texting another girl about 1 yr into relationship. Then roughly 3 years she found a fake facebook profile I had that I would use to perv on girls profiles. Now.... She just today found some creepshots I forgot to delete. There's no coming back from this, we're over. She's disgusted, sick of my lies, lost all respect for me. And I honestly can't fucking blame her.
I need help. I can't help but perv on girls, watch porn, etc. I need to stop and talk to somebody about my problem. I jerk off every day, we're lucky to have sex once a month. Has anybody dealt with something like this and what did you do? | My girlfriend of 6 years found out I'm a perv and is leaving me. How do I stop being so fucked in the head? |
t3_42hle6 | relationships | Boyfriend [25M] says he loves me [22F]. Old texts say he thinks I'm 0% attractive and just wanted sex. | I've been dating Andy for 6 months. After we started dating, I found out he had gone out with a friend of mine with the same name a couple weeks before but she didn't feel a spark. We're close, but no one had an issue with it. Let's say I'm Ally 1, she's Ally 2.
About a month in, I started seeing Andy everyday and slept with him. We started opening up, and he told me very personal things that he allegedly has told no one else. We went exclusive and he stopped dating other girls. He wanted to wait for deep feelings for labels; 3 months in, he asked. I pointed out signs of depression and pushed him to get help, and he thanked me: "I don't think anyone has cared about me so much, except my mom".
He invited me to his hometown, introduced me to all of his friends, and has made plans for way down the road. When I was considering moving an hour away, he asked me not to. Months in, he confessed he had been a virgin before me, and had lied from embarrassment. I didn't think it was a big deal.
Yesterday, I was - with his permission - using his phone and searched my name. I came up with texts to his best friend from before we were exclusive. I can post the convo, but here's some quotes:
> "I don't know. I don't find Ally 1 attractive. And she's a little boring."
> "God damn I can't stop thinking about Ally 2. [...] last night, I imagined Ally 1 was Ally 2 during sex, so sketch. I should probably break up with her."
> "I have zero feelings for her. Hardcore leading her on. [...] I act like I like her too, but I don't."
> "I don't find her attractive at all lol. [...] Just in it for sex."
I immediately gave him the phone, left, and blocked him on text/fb, but he's been sending snapchat messages. ~~I haven't read them.~~ | Boyfriend apparently fell in love with me for my personality, but thinks I'm completely unattractive. Do I bother talking to him? |
t3_44enn0 | relationships | Am I ridiculous, or am I in a one-sided relationship? | Hello all.
Quick, simple question. I just want to know if I ask too much and my expectations are too high.
I [22F] have been dating Fin[22M] for one year, and I feel as though compromising with him is impossible. I end up just letting him have his way and he views the time spent debating as a "compromise."
Today, for example, I work Saturday mornings so usually I stay in at my place while he goes out on Fridays. However, I had a pretty stressful day and asked him if he'd catch a movie with me to make me feel better. He told me that he had wanted to go out so no. I had a back up plan, but the fact that he wouldn't even entertain the idea on my behalf is unsettling. We discussed it, I agreed I'd go with back up plan, and he thought this was a compromise.
Likewise, sex has become an issue. We both have high sex drives, but he likes to have sex before he goes to bed. However, due to work schedules he goes to bed way after me, therefore he wakes me up for sex. I try to explain its not that I don't want it, it's that I can't possibly be into it if I'm asleep. I try to have sex before I go to sleep, but usually this involved dragging him away from his friends, which us a Herculean task. I he refuses and just tries to quickly squeeze in sex until JUST before I get to sleep. Literally, a few minute venture.
Worst of all, I can't discuss this with him without him being angry. I'm not sure how to bring it up properly in order to have a constructive conversation instead of a destructive conflict. Am I being too unforgiving? Or should I discuss? If I can have some pointers on how to properly address this, that would be ideal. Thanks! | bf can't compromise. Am I being too ridiculous on the definition of compromise? If not how to approach situation. |
t3_35u0fl | relationships | Me [28 M] with my ___ [26 F] 3 Months, Ruined an amazing relationship. Struggling with feelings of guilt. | A little over three months ago I met an amazing woman. She was wonderful, loving, caring, and never once made me feel awkward about who I was.
I then spent the next three months systematically dissecting her, forcing her into positions that no person would endure, and making her feel bad for her limitations.
I found whatever reason I could to push her away, and even as I pushed her away I found ways to be overbearing to the point of smothering her love for me. I've been in numerous relationships and this was the first time I ever believed someone when they said they loved me.
In the space of three months I took her from a place of writing me poetry and explaining how I was helping her redefine what love is to her being utterly disgusted with my behavior.
I feel utterly awful for the things I've done. Whats more is that I know that this was my doing. There were mitigating circumstances but at the end of the day I chose to act in the way I did. I bounce between feeling horrible about the way I acted. To wanting to make pleas for her to give me one more chance even though she has made it clear that its over. | Took a wonderful relationship, and absolute love of an amazing woman and mangled it into something horrific. What can I do to move forward? |
t3_4aq5kq | relationships | Me [25 F] with my partner [25 M] cheated in last relationship and he still communicates with that !!!!!!. | Before me and my current boyfriend started dating we were -just friends- and he was in a different relationship. After a month or so of their break up we got together. Apparently their relationship started falling apart like 2 years ago because she cheated on him and to get back at her he had sex with one of his good friends. His ex with good reason told him to stop talking to her and he did. Until we got together. I've been telling him how much it bothers me and around december 30th she just.... randomly blocked him, and unblocked him about a month ago now. My BF did NOT tell me about this nor is he curious why she would block him in the first place. He's told me it was an honest mistake that he did not tell me they were in communication again and I just.... I don't know how to be direct enough with him. It's pushing me away and I know he's sick of hearing about it, but I have no reason to believe something weird isn't going on, but I truly want to hear why it shouldn't make me uncomfortable. How do I approach this? | BF cheated on his ex with Jill, BF stopped communicating with Jill until our relationship/Am I nuts or do I need a new approach? |
t3_35s5re | relationships | My mother's [39/F] boyfriend [28/M] broke up with her 1 month before her baby is due and he doesn't want to leave the house | My mom was in a relationship with a young guy she met while she was running a bar. She has always been kinda "new age friendly", and this guy is a reiki master, does biomagnetism, the whole package, so she fell hard for him. They were pretty happy together, and 4 months into the relationship they decided to have a baby.
It was all pretty cool, he was always talking how now we were a family, that it was gonna be great to have a baby, yadda yadda yadda. Until last week, when, out of nowhere, he told her that he didn't loved her anymore and that he had a new girl. We were pretty shocked, and while my mom suspected the girl had a thing for him (they are co-workers, he's a teacher at a local highschool, and she saw them together a couple times while going to pick him up), she never thought he also had a thing for her.
After the initial shock, we were expecting him to move out, but he had a talk with my mother and says it's best for the baby that he sticks around, in case he's needed for a run to the hospital (she has been passing out at least twice a month), and now my mother is confused, letting him stay for a couple days.
So here we are, the "I can get you to the hospital" thing is bullshit since she has plenty of friends and family to spend this month with, starting with me, but when I point this out to her she starts avoiding the subject, since she still loves him and hopes she can make him come back to her. So I would love to hear some objective opinions on the subject, because I think it's awful for her and the baby to be under this kind of pressure with the a--hole in the house, but who knows, I'm biased by the amount of hate I feel right now. | Pregnant mom got dumped, exboyfriend doesn't want to leave the house and she thinks that's ok, need opinions to make her change her mind/stay like this |
t3_38vxfo | tifu | TIFU by using tape. Slightly (NSFW) | I work 3rd shift at a gas station. In order to be "more energy efficient" (to save money cause they're cheap) our corporate office controls the thermostat. As a result it gets incredibly hot during all the sweeping/mopping I have to do so my boss said I can wear shorts as long as their nice and fit the dress code (khaki).
So about 45 minutes ago(around 2-2:30 est) I was going through my nightly chores and I squatted down to get fountain pop straws from under the cupboard when I hear a tear. I look down and my shorts have this huge rip from the crotch to about halfway down the inside of the thigh.
I have no idea what the fuck to do at this point so I try stapling the tear. doesn't work. So I start looking around trying to find something to cover the hole when I spot some duct tape. I go to the bathroom and drop my shorts and tape both the inside and outside of the tear to try and get it to hold.
I pull my shorts back up and I immediately feel the tape catch. now my legs are pretty hairy so I know it's gonna hurt. However my shorts are all the way up so i figure I can wait till my shifts over and deal with it in the car. I go back to work. So I'm sweeping and shit and I bend over to roll up a floor mat and BAM! The tape I used for the inside of my shorts was longer than i thought and came off. It snaked its way inside the convince hole of my boxers and attached itself to my pubes. I had no choice... I stood up straight and shouted obscenities as the tape ripped out my Johnson's curlies. | ripped my shorts. Fixed it with duct tape. Got an unexpected Duct Tape waxing. Am now in pain. |
t3_3whivr | relationship_advice | [18M] Wondering if I fucked up or is miss reading [18F] | Hey Reddit,
So there is this girl (as always) and we've been friends for a while now. I'm always at ease with her, and she is always at ease with me. At least, it seems that way. Anyway, as inhibitions go when you're intoxicated - yay first-year university - you say things that you usually wouldn't say. So she called me very cutesy names and sent me hearts and whatnot. This has never happened before but we always hang out and it's reciprocated in the sense that she asks me to hang out as much as I ask her to.
My relationship history is complicated, but she knows all about it and whenever we flirt she ends up playfully punching me. But what does that mean? I don't know if she feels hurt 'cause I always poke fun or should I stop poking fun and be nicer in this regard. We'll be seeing each other every day this week studying for an exam this Friday, then she's off on a trip for a while until January. I think she might be into me and I think I might be into her. Should I make a move? If so, should I wait until after the exam or until she comes back from her trip, or should I tell her right now. Or should I wait until something else entirely? Please help. | Girl that I'm not sure about her feelings and she and I are not sure about mine. Hanging out a lot, should I tell her or wait until I know more definitely our feelings? |
t3_41v4aa | relationships | My (20M) partner's (22F) parents want to buy us a house. It's directly joined on to their house. I don't want to live next door to my In-laws. Am I being ungrateful? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. I moved in with her and her family 18 months ago when our daughter was born.
The house next door has just gone up for sale and my girlfriend's parents have said they're going to 'move us in' next door until we can both afford to pay the mortgage ourselves.
This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable for two reasons. I will feel like I owe them and will be owned by them for the rest of my life even after I've payed them back as much as I can. I also don't want them to be as involved in my life as I know they will if I live next door to them.
I can't articulate this without sounding extremely ungrateful. I'm just a student while my partner has a good job so nothing I say can carry any weight because I'm not a proper provider and can't offer an alternative living situation. | Feeling extremely anxious and nervous because in-laws have made us a generous offer that I can't refuse without sounding awful. Can reddit offer any advice? |
t3_23sr0g | relationships | Me [29] and my GF [27] of 5 months can't decide whether to break up or not. | First off, sorry for the ambiguity in the title. I feel a bit silly even posting this but I haven't been able to figure it out on my own.
I've known her since college. We dated for about a year back then and had an amicable breakup which actually allowed us to stay very close friends for another decade (holy...). I always loved her as a friend and throughout the years we were still somewhat romantically involved when we were both single. Without too much detail, I know that I love this woman more than anyone else in my life and trust her with everything.
The problem is that she's moving to California for various reasons, and she had been planning to before we started dating again. It's what she thinks will make her happier and I would never think of pursuading her otherwise. She moves in about 4 months, but has been throwing out the idea of us breaking off our romantic relations now in order to make it easier on us once she moves.
I, however, feel like we should be enjoying the time that we have left together and "cross that bridge when we come to it" as I always tell her. She still loves me and wants to be with me (from what she says) but can't stop thinking about what it will be like not having me while in California, and that she should get used to not having me while she is still here in NYC.
Notes
* Neither of us wants to do long distance
* I have a job here that I do not want to leave
I would appreciate literally any insight you all have, can't really think of a specific question but if I had to...who's right?
I'll be happy to fill in any details you are curious about. | GF is moving, I want us to enjoy the time we have together, she wants to breakup ahead of time to make it easier |
t3_1fz2i8 | relationships | I think my bf [22M] is not attracted to me [21F] anymore. What should i do? | My bf and I have been dating for 3.5 years. When we first met I was 127-130 pounds and after getting to college and living on my own I am 152 pounds and I'm 5'6 (Serious weight gain, i know) My bf is in really good shape and works out often. I work out around 3-4 times a week but don't eat healthy. I am trying to lose weight but I'm not sure I will be able to get back to my old weight. This is what brings me to my problem.
He tends to say mean things about how I look, what I eat, what I weigh. I know he hasn't been happy about how I look for a while, but I thought he was still attracted to me and he just wishes I looked better. Lately I started paying attention to our sex life and more details and I realized that 9 out of 10 I initiated sex and that if I don't, we wouldn't have sex. He also never tells me I look good, or gives me compliment. Lately, the only compliments I get are 'I like your hair' or something of that sort. He also doesn't look at me when I'm changing EVER or look at me with desire. I sent him sexy pictures and he responds saying 'your hair looks amazing'. I know he loves me and he is good to me, but being with someone that is not attracted to me affects my self steem a lot and if I don't lose the weight, he will never be attracted to me. I don't know what to do at this point because I'm worried that if I gain weight later in the relationsip, the same thing will happen again. I feel really bad because I am very attracted to him and love him dearly. I just wish he would feel the same way about me. | ! I gained weight and my boyfriend doesn't seem to be attracted to me anymore. doesn't show any sign of attraction to me and I'm worried that this is a sign for the future in the relationship |
t3_2mbj9d | tifu | TIFU By stroking my cat in the dark. | Background info - My cat is a quite dark coloured, lazy British Shorthair Blue, that whilst being affectionate likes to lay down on the floor.
About 30 minutes ago I walked out of my room into the upstairs hallway and down the stairs that run alongside it. The bottom of the stairs was faintly lit from the front room, so I didn't bother switching the light on. My cat meanwhile is lurking around in the hallway somewhere.
I'm about a 1/4 of the way down the stairs, head height with the floor of the upstairs hallway. I hear him flump down like he usually does just on the other side of the bannister, and I put my hand between the bannister rails to quickly stroke him before carrying on. Little did I know he had flumped down facing the other way - arse end towards me. I heard a high pitch mew, and he scrambled away fast as he could.
Turns out I accidentally fingered my cat in the butt hole. We haven't spoken since. | Tried to stroke my cat in the dark, cat is laying down facing away, inadvertently fingered my cat. We haven't spoken since. |
t3_3qq9rf | tifu | TIFU by trying to compliment someone's shirt. | I was walking to class today and had my headphones in, I see a girl walking in the opposite direction towards me and I notice her shirt has a pretty cool design.
As we make eye contact I decide to compliment her shirt by pointing at my shirt and giving her a thumbs up. She responds with a horrified look on her face. I think "how rude" and continue on my way to class. It isn't until about five minutes into class that I realized from her perspective it must have looked like I was pointing at my chest and giving her a thumbs up. She must've thought I was trying to say nice boobs. | Tried to compliment a girl on her shirt by pointing at mine and giving her a thumbs up. Complimented her boobs instead. |
t3_2p1tod | relationships | I[28m] never hear from the girl [29f] ive been dating outside of our great times together. Can anyone relate? | We're not officially anything but we are exclusive, she's definitely an independent, career driven type. We've been dating only a couple months, and contact was a lot heavier at first, texting good morning/night n stuff in between, funny pics or whatever. We see each other about once or twice a week and always seem to have a great time together, great intimacy, great conversation.
But I dont hear anything from her in between, maybe one text, unless I initiate it. I'll text sometimes or call, but it seems like the week could easily go by without any word from her. I'm more of a text daily type (nothing excessive, but at least 1 text), but feel odd having it be one sided, so I've pulled back a bit with it. Part of me thinks regardless of what type of person you are, if you're actually interested in someone you will not be able to help yourself but to reach out to them. I could easily send a random goofy text and get no response.
I've even brought it up more recently asking if its a sign her interest is waning and she said it's just her settling into her normal communication style and doesnt want to date anyone else. When we're together she is all about me, my friends, making me feel great. When we part I always feel great about it, but after a few days go by without hearing from her, without fail, it again feels odd that she's not reaching out to me ever. This concern is then taken away when I see her again and once again we have a great time. | girl and I have great times together but I nearly never hear from her otherwise, can any other girls relate? Or guys? Is this more common than i realize? |
t3_qecne | relationships | Meeting up with ex that I've spent a 5th of my life with in Vegas...and her friends don't want me in the same room as her | Back story - from 20-25 we were in a relationship. She admitted I was the one. I broke it off to go around the world. We've been broken up since end of 2010, so a year and a bit has gone by. We keep in regular contact and are still very good friends, occasionally cybersexing on Skype.
Now: She is going with her two girl flatmates to Mexico and Vegas (EDC). Both lovely girls, and the three that have all lived together for over half a year.
Ex asked if I wanted tickets to EDC back in Jan. I jumped at the chance because I would love to see and party with her again.
I conceded that I won't be able to see her in Mexico - its a girls trip. The other girls don't want me there and thats perfectly fine. I'm now staying with a friend in the city.
So now in Vegas - I've seen packages that include rooms that sleep 4 with shuttles included for a good price. So there are 4 of us, so I suggested 'lets get one of these deals'
My ex's response was 'I'll ask the girls'
The girls say 'He can stay in the same hotel, but different room'
The girl's reasoning is they think that emotions between me and my ex will ruin their trip. I called my ex this morning and both came to the conclusion that we don't know whether it could be amazing, or terrible - whether one of us will get upset if the other wants to hook up with someone else, essentially
But the crux of my argument - her friends want 'single ex'. I believe that with them living with her for the past 6 months+, they can give me 4 nights, especially since I'm making that concession that is me bowing out of seeing my ex in Mexico.
Does reddit think I'm expecting too much? I see maturity being a massive factor in dictating how this experience will go.
I believe we will be able to do what adults do and not let emotions get in the way of an awesome experience! | seeing one of the most important people thats ever existed in my life after 14 months. her travelling companions/flatmates won't let us spend 4 nights together* |
t3_32o38t | askwomenadvice | in a relationship where it has been agreed that strip clubs aren't ok, now my SO is a best man, what do I do? | basically, I think going to a strip club in a monogamous relationship is cheating. This is for my relationships, I'm not prescribing anything to yours.
I told him within the first month or so of dating that I thought this, and I've repeated it. He has agreed to it. We're two years in now.
Now, he's the best man for a wedding. He hasn't even discussed this with me yet, but there will be a bachelor party. I know not all involve strippers, but this one will.
I'm looking to prepare myself for this upcoming conversation. This man is his childhood best friend. Can I really say no to him partaking in his bachelor party? That seems unfair. But at the same, I know it'll kill me to know some naked woman is grinding on my guy.
I've thought long and hard about whether or not I think going to the strip club is cheating, and I have concluded that I definitely do, so please don't try to argue that point. All I'm asking for is some advice on whether I'm being fair or not, but mostly how tTo handle this conversation. | is it fair for me to deny my SO the chance to take part in his best friends bachelor party when my SO is the best man? How do I do so? (Me f32, he m29) |
t3_2r3adc | dating_advice | Where to go for our 2nd date, and after how many dates should I [21M] make a move on her [18F]? | I did a search on the topic but was unable to find anything relevant, so here goes.
We'll soon be going on our first date. Nothing fancy, I'll buy her coffee and we'll sit down and talk to get to know each other.
I've been in one longterm relationship before, but my experiences with dating is almost at a zero. Therefore I'm in desperate need for advice on where we should go for our second date, and when I should make a move on her.
I'm pretty sure it should just stay with the smiling and hugging at the first date, but should I try to hold her hand on the second or even try to kiss her? I know it all depend on the mood, set and setting etc., but some of my friends told me not to wait too long to make the first move, otherwise I could lose her interest.
Now I might have an advantage. When we randomly met in public not so long ago, we got to talk about a dessert I was preparing for my family. She told me that I should make it for her someday, and I agreed to.
So if I tell her after our first date that I think we should meet again, she might propose the idea of coming over to my place so I could make the dessert for her. If so, that would be our second date.
And I have some kind of feeling that I should definitely make a move on her, if we are at my place. But I'm in no personal need to do so, I'm just fine by taking it slow. It's just that I really know jack shit about dating and reading girls to be honest with you.
Any help would be very much appreciated, and I thank you all in advance. | After how many dates should I make a move, and what move should I make? Should I definitely make a move, if my date comes to my place, if yes, what move should I make?* |
t3_datve | AskReddit | Reddit, Current HS Senior here, wondering how to go about college apps. | So, im have been a long time Reddit lurker. And i finally decided to make this account for purposes such as this. But to the real point, I am a high school senior and i plan on going to college next year. I know that i want to Major in business and minor in auto-mechanics. (sorry that its not engineering or programing) what schools are good business schools, and how do i find out if they are or not. And whether or not i could get into them. my grades are fairly low(2.3), my sat was a 1120 w/o writing. I have lots of outside school stuff to list. Oh and i live in S.C. | Looking for good in state buisness school, dont want to waste my time. 2.3 gpa, 1120 sat, dont want to go to USC. |
t3_r6p3o | relationships | I always feel rejected when my boyfriend isn't in the mood for sex - I don't want to feel that way, any ideas? | I'm 21, female, in a relationship with a boy (23). We've been together for nearly a year now. We both go to college and live together for two month.
My problem is that I have serious trouble asking for what I want/need or even talking about my wishes. Even more serious I can't handle beeing rejected (which in turn makes it harder to ask for something because I'm afraid of my own reaction which I cannot controll).
Whenever I get myself to ask for something like cuddeling or having sex I feel really disapointed if he is not in the mood right now. I can't help myself but start crying, which I do not want. Naturally he is unhappy with the situation, too. He is always very nice, he doesn't let himself being talked into anything and I'm very gratefull for it, since I would hate myself if my behaviour would blackmail him.
I try to talk myself into a state of mind where it would be ok if he says no, I try to simulate my reaction in case of rejection before I ask for something. I even tried beeing pessimistic and telling myself that I wouldn't get what I want for. But it all doesn't help.
I don't even know why I feel that way, it's not like he always says no to my suggestions. Still I feel very hurt and rejected in those situations.
The best I've ever managed was a situation where I asked for sex and he didn't felt that way. He hugged me and I had tears in my eyes and was talking about how shitty it is that I always start crying but catched myself quite fast and we played some game together.
However lately it is rather getting worse.
In generall we've talked about that topic over and over again, but I have no idea how to fix my reaction. I don't want to feel that way. If he asks for somethink I can always say yes or no and for him it's quite esay to take a no. I would like it to be the same for me. | I can't help myself but start crying whenever I ask for sex or cuddeling and my boyfriend doesn't want to. |
t3_3rn5zn | relationships | Is it possible to have a relationship with just one person without getting bored or feeling trapped | I realize this question is personal and can change but I just want to get a rough idea on what people think.
I'm on reddit regularly and see a lot of posts on how people get bored of their partners and start wishing they experienced other sexual experiences if they are each others first or if they've had limited experience. this leads to them cheating or going on breaks where they eventually separate
Ive been with my boyfriend for a few years now and we're planing on settling down, we were both virgins and we were both old to be virgins ( he was 25 and I was 23 ). I'm beginning to fear that he might eventually feel bored of our sex life and have these desires to be with other women. I mean he didn't have any experience and nor did I so what if one day he decides hed like to be with someone who is more experienced? or that hed like the thrill of being with other women etc.
Part of me feels like a crazy lunatic because my bf hasn't expressed anything to hint that hes feeling this way if anything hes more interested in sex then ever but nonetheless reading all these posts about people and relationships having an expiry date before they get bored of each other is really playing with my mind
Is there anyone out there who have only ever had a single partner and have been okay with it ? is it a normal process to feel like you'll want to have sex with other people after a certain period but feel trapped ? is it possible that this won't happen or is that a slim in comparison ? I know I'm being crazy but I don't want to be naive either | I'm getting paranoid that my bf might eventually want to have sex with other women since I was his first. I'm not sure if relationships have expiry dates if they start out being virgins |
t3_4yafe8 | tifu | TIFU by giving my eye a paper cut in the stupidest way | So my girlfriend and I decided to try a long distance relationship in college (California to texas). And we both had the idea of writing each other letters.
Her first letter came in today and when I read it I starting tearing up (naturally).
I told myself I would wipe any tears from letters on the letter just because I thought it would be more memorable. So as I go to wipe it off I thought to myself
"wow this would be the dumbest way to get-"
"OWWW FUCK!!! "
luckily I was on my bed so my sheets were able to catch all my eye blood. | got a cute letter from girlfriend and wiped a tear on the paper. Paper said "fuck you". Got horrible paper cut on eye. |
t3_4u0jg7 | relationships | I [21 F] am having trouble dealing with the fact that my boyfriend [21 M] [9+months, 3 LDR] has a better internship this summer and I can't take it any longer. | This summer, the summer between our junior and senior years of college my boyfriend is working at a pretty large tech company as an intern and I am stuck in our college town making a shitty hourly rate at a job that isn't doing much for my career.
As much as I love him its getting to the point where i don't even want to talk to him anymore because I can't muster the energy to be excited and proud of his relationship anymore because I am so insanely and stupidly jealous.
I feel like an awful girlfriend for saying all this but it jsut eats me away because I had an interview at that same company and he got it and I didn't and so it just makes everything worse knowing that I could have had this amazing fun exotic summer, when instead I am just sitting like dry shit in the sun.
I can't even take it, and worse, I am flying out to visit him at some point and so now I have to see the city where he spent 4 months and it just so happens to be my favorite city on earth and like I just can't take it.
How do you handle jealousy in relationships? Did you have to break up? I just feel so hurt all the time but I want to be be a good girlfriend. Its like something just snapped in me today and I can't even listen to him talk about his day anymore I just silently cry while we are on the phone. | boyfriend has fancy internship that we both went for and he got. Feelings of jealousy are making it hard for me to be a good girlfriend and also makes me want to punch the both of us in the face. |
t3_w97sj | relationships | Girlfriend's sexually abusive adopted father is getting released from prison. How can I protect her? | I (M 18) very recently started dating a girl ( f 17) and we are very open with each other, share several common interests, and overall really enjoy each others company.
Lately we've been up all hours of the night on Skype talking about practically everything under the sun. The other night while we were talking she told me some of the horror stories about how her sick bastard of an adopted father sexually abused her. From what she told me he has been in prison for the last 3 years and her adopted mother has since divorced him. She has been, and still is in counseling from these traumatic experiences.
Here's where things get really bad. I guess he's going to be released from prison and she is almost certain that he is going to try and find them and is terrified.
Reddit, I am not going to allow some sick bastard to hurt my girlfriend, what can I do to protect her and give her some peace of mind??? | Girlfriend's sexually abusive adopted father is getting released from prison. What can I do to protect her from this creep??? |
t3_1zofua | relationship_advice | I [21/m] am fed up with my SO's [24/m] financial situation; any advice? | **Relevant Information:**
1. We've been together for almost 7 months
2. SO moved into my apartment after 4 months; they had been spending most of the nights with me up to that point.
3. SO has been going through some tough financial and personal situations since we started dating
4. I'm in uni and work part-time (have money for my place due to scholarships)
5. SO is in uni and works full-time.
**The Problem**
As of late, I've found myself annoyed at the fact that my SO cannot afford to put in any money towards shared groceries. I also pay about 60% of rent and utilities as it is, and most of my extra money from my paycheck is going to groceries and other shared expenses (i.e., the occasional meal out). I've taken into account their personal situation, but still can't help but find myself disillusioned with the situation.
I know finances are an important part of any serious relationship, and I've tried to not to let it get to me. But, when they promise to pick up the milk only to tell me last minute that they can't due to their finances, I can't help but get irked. It seems like breaking a promise, albeit a small one.
We had previously discussed plans of moving in again together for the upcoming school year, but I am now wary due to the lack of apparent financial stability on their end. | My SO has been having some financial issues since we moved in, and I'm annoyed and tired of having to cover a lot of shared things. Any advice? |
t3_1zjr0k | relationship_advice | [31/m] needs help with LTR that's achieved mediocrity | I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years. Yes, girlfriend, 8 years. We've had our ups and downs, no need for a lot of background (unless requested, I guess). She's wanted to get married, to have kids, etc for a long while. I can't see myself, right now, doing any of these things.
I think my resistance comes from a place of selfishness, hence my post here. I love her, I respect her, I don't want to lose her, but we're different enough that I think the relationship would just coast at idle for the rest of our lives, if we were to spend them together. I want someone who's more like me, who's more into the things I'm into without having to bore/force them on them. I want to be legitimately interested in THEIR things. While I'm not likely to find the female version of me (and I sincerely hope to never meet that person, oi), I want them to be independent enough so that when it comes to things we're not mutually keen on, we're perfectly capable of enjoying our own things without having to drag one another though stuff we're not going to enjoy.
I really do care for this person, and my biased thought is: we're not right enough for one another, and it would be better for both of us to find more compatible people. The problem I'm having is twofold: Having met real life people that I just click with better, I feel like maybe I'm experiencing a "grass is greener" moment. Given the massive number of people on the earth, there will almost always be someone that will be a better match, so where do you stop? The other side of this coin is that I don't want to hurt her, and there will definitely be a lot of hurt involved.
So what do I do? Do I stay in an acceptable-yet-fairly-mediocre relationship, or break out of this rut and try for something greater and more passionate? | End an OK, long-lasting but generally mediocre relationship, or hurt someone I care about to improve both of our happiness? |
t3_15bnoq | relationship_advice | Shy girl, self doubting guy | first time posting here
I'm a guy (17) who recently has become interested in a girl (17), the problem is I can't tell if she's interested, she never starts conversations but when we have them they go on for hours (one even went on for 10 ½ consecutively), she is very talkative round other people but goes shy around me, I've caught her looking at me across the room before but she never comes over and starts the conversation and she trusts me with secrets/stories she hasn't told anyone else but becomes hard to talk to unless its online or 1 on 1, I'm going to ask her out after Christmas so I'll know for sure then but I'm interested to know if anyone can shed some light on what she's thinking, some other information is that she's got kinda low self esteem, she's a very friendly person, I was socially awkward and weird (not too bad) the past few years but got my shit sorted a year ago or so and even on days when I've said message me later I have to start the convo again | girl I want is shyer around me than other people to the point she often feels distant and never starts conversations although when I do they're long and she seems interested, what's going on? |
t3_rthkv | Pets | Any vets here? I need some advice about a wounded pigeon I just saved | My neighbors cat had some "fun" with a random pigeon on my front yard, so I rushed away the damn cat because that poor pigeon was in a world of hurt. Its wing was clearly injured and it couldn't fly away. I caught the poor guy and now he's in my garage for the night. He looks calm now and hopefully he's not in distress anymore. I gave him water and some breadcrumbs and hopefully he'll recover tomorrow.
Right now I'm trying to think of the next steps for this poor guy. Can you help me out here? Any advice how to rehabilitate this poor bird? | neighbors cat attacked a pigeon, I rescued the bird, he's in my garage for the night, what to do next? |
t3_4az3ce | relationships | I (M27) need to break up with my GF (F25) of 9.5 years because she has anger issues and gets really nasty.. I can't deal with the tantrums anymore. | My GF is so sexy and smart and funny. I love her more than anything but she has some issues (maybe something that happened as a child, i dont know) that she won't address, after I have begged her to seek help, I am even willing to go with her as I have always supported her through good and bad.
Anyway, she often gets frustrated and angry at really small and insignificant things that then turns into a deep rage quite quickly sometimes, then I have to do everything I can to calm her and explain that her behavior is not acceptable but I just get abused or written off as if im talking jiberish bullshit and some how it always ends up being my fault and I'm the bad guy for saying how I feel.
I am just really exhausted from all of it and don't know how much more I can take. I feel like we need to break up but I can't seem to make a decision and commit to it because I love her so much and don't want to give up on us as we have been together a long time and when she is being nice and happy it's really fun. We have a similar perspective of life and click with most things but I feel im her verbal punching bag alot of the time and when she does stop and apologizes it just happens again half and hour later. | GF angry often and gets real nasty. I need to end it but don't know if I can coz I love her. |
t3_2vqmlq | relationships | Me [15 M] obsessed w/ girl on track team[15 F], frustrating me a TON | So I have known her for about maybe 5 months at the most, but the first time I saw her I was like woah! She's pretty pretty, and extremely nice. I saw her once at a track meet and maybe 3 weeks later I joined the place where she practiced (call it karma).
I've talked to her about like 3 times (I count lame right) and I just can't stop thinking about her except for never! She has always started the conversation so idk what I should do. She seems to be on my mind all the time. I feel like if I try to talk to her someone is silently judging me for talking to her (I'm not the hottest star in the universe)
Either I need to forget about her or do something else. I don't have any social media so I can't really connect with her outside of practice. Even then if i was like 2 meters away from her I wouldn't know what to say.
It's taking up too much energy for me to crush on her so either I approach her or forget her. She's really pretty though.
Sorry for blabbering, but I'm desperate (and sleepy). You can PM for more details about anything. I'm open about giving more information. | I think I am infatuated with a girl and don't know what do to. Should I try to forget about her (how do I do that?) or what should I do... I'm clueless (and really obsessed.) |
t3_2svg89 | relationships | Can I [22 M] make a relationship work with super rich [21F]? | I come from a very modest family and grew up in a shithole neighbourhood. However I worked hard in school and managed to get into a top ranking Univeristy/College.
While there are some others like me, the majority of students in my class have have come from super wealthy families and elite circles.
This girl and I have gone on a few dates but I can't shake the feeling that we would ultimately be incompatible. I really like her and I think she likes me just as much but we've come from totally different backgrounds. In her Facebook photos she's travelled to so many places around the world, lived in the most luxurious places, been to hundreds of events and even hanged out with a few celebrities backstage.
I'm worried that I'm just not good enough for her. How can i ever compare to her and what she already seen? What can i give to her that she doesnt have already or to take her to places she's used to or buy her expensive things?
Should I just stop seeing her to spare myself future heartbreak? Has anyone here ever dated someone significantly wealthier than themselves? How did it workout? | Come from different background to wealthy girl I'm dating. Doubting if it can work - mainly self doubt if I can ever compare to what she's done .What to do? |
t3_16pfv8 | AskReddit | Am I doing it all wrong? | Welp, I really can't complain about anything in my life. I go to a good college where I have a lot of fun. I was raised in a stable household. My parents never really restricted me from doing anything, but aside from regular neighborhood shennanigans, I never really got into any serious trouble. I LOVE technology and all this crazy stuff in our generation, but whenever I read about or watch something having to do with anything up through the 1970s, I can't help but think that I would enjoy myself more fully if I were living more simply. I'm really not trying to sound like a hippy or anything here but I figured this would be the best place to find some people that would seriously discuss this sort of thing with me. I always find myself wishing I was raised in my parents era, where everyone was allowed to do much more and not worry about getting in trouble, relationships were formed in person (i know, a bit ironic that I am on reddit), people would make their own fun, and of course, the music. I mean, I know I am kinda ranting now, but I hope at least one person makes it this far without dismissing their thoughts. Aside from this whole generation thing, I always wonder about my life choices. As I stated I go to college, and I like to believe that this is because it interests me and I think it will help me make a difference, but almost daily, I question myself. Should I just be camping and exploring out on the road? Should I go try to make a living as a snowboard instructor so I can live on a mountain and do what I love daily? Should I have not gone to college to pursue what I love the most, playing music? I feel like I took the "safe" route. I don't plan on dropping out, I have a lot of fun and am extremely fortunate to be able to go to my college, but I just wanted to see if there was anyone out there that felt similar/has advice/had ANYTHING to say out there. Am I doing it all wrong? | I feel like I am taking the "safe" route with college and maybe missing out on a more exciting life. |
t3_fkygj | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I become a better biochemist/scientist?? | For the past 2 year of my life, I have been volunteering as a researcher in my school. I have put in a substantial amount of time learning and mastering protocols practiced in the field of biochemistry and have been mentored by what I honestly believe to be some of the world's best grad students/post docs/professors. I am seriously a hardworker and I try my best to not be lazy when it comes to science.
However, here lies my problem: A couple of days ago, one of my mentors was helping me trouble shoot an experiment, and in the process sort of gave me a very stern talk about how I needed to write in my lab notebook more, and how I needed to be more present in the lab (not as in my attendance, but as in my mind needed to be there while I was doing my work). The point of the talk was that I needed to be able to stand up on my own two feet and stop asking so many redundant questions that have been answered over a million times.
I agreed with what my mentor said and really, as much as I hated to admit it, my scientific method definitely needed improvement if I ever wanted to become a mature scientist. I have started to note down everything in my lab notebook, and am starting to be more attentive in lab. So, to gain more insight on the scientific method I am here, writing to you. Reddit, how do you approach science??? What are somethings you do to try and be more organized??? How have you perfected your laboratory skills? | I'm a beginner scientists and I need advice. What is your opinion about how a scientist should practice science? How does one keep everything organized, and thus, become a more productive scientist? |
t3_2wndou | relationships | I[19 M] have trouble getting over [19 F] crush, who has a boyfriend | Being so strongly attracted to someone rarely happens to me. The simple fact that I am posting here is baffling.
It wouldn't be such a problem, if I didn't have to see her every single day. She's part of my university course and I'll most definitely be seeing more of her the next 3 years.
We used to talk a lot during / after lectures or at least until I found out she had a boyfriend. I've been trying to distance myself from her as I'm not okay with just being friends.
I thought if I kept myself occupied I'd get over it quickly, but seeing her is making it so very difficult.
I went clubbing last night with my friends and it was all going great. But then I saw her with her boyfriend and it crushed me on the inside and I just felt like getting out, so I went home.
I have plenty of hobbies that keep me busy, but it doesn't help.
Other girls have expressed interest in me, but I don't care when all I want is to actually be with her. | See crush all the time, can't get over her. What the fuck do I do? I want to get on with my life, but no one else interests me the same way. |
t3_36vilg | relationships | I [23M] having trouble when I see my ex's [22F] car | So my ex and I broke up back in November. It was messy. Long story short she was doing a lot of crappy things to me behind my back and I didn't find out until after she broke up with me.
We dated for a long time so this whole proces has had a pretty big impact on me. One of my main problems is whenever I'm driving along and I see a red Kia Soul, my heart sinks. I start to have a mini panic attack and I can't figure out why.
Does this happen to anyone else? What's the best way to get over it? | Whenever I see the same car my ex has I get a big knot in my stomach and I don't know why or how to fix it. |
t3_1akh3m | dating_advice | Help! I like this girl but don't know if she likes me/don't know what to do about it. | Before posting "ask her out," please read the post specifically because it's a little more complicated I think.
So here's the deal. Basically, I like this girl. We're both 16 and in high school. However, I only share one class with her and it isn't really possible to talk to her in it. So we have limited conversation randomly.
Here's the way the confusing part comes in. Sometimes we make quite a bit of eye contact in hallways and stuff and sometimes we don't. However, now I'm getting sick of it. The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with to think that she doesn't like me. Also, she rarely initiates anything like texting or conversations when we can talk. She seems shy so I don't know if it's that or that she doesn't have any interest in me.
So at this point you're probably thinking, why don't you end the pain and ask her out already?
First of all, I don't even really know what that means. I don't know if asking someone out means asking them to be your girlfriend/boyfriend or if it means asking someone on a date. If it's the first, I want to get to know her more first. If it's the second, I have never seen anyone in our school (it's small) ask someone on a date. So I guess that's weird in High School?
Also, with eye contact and hallways, I'm starting to worry that if she doesn't like me, she probably thinks I'm creepy since I look at her a lot more in hallways. Maybe girls are generally sneakier about it? (At this point I'm trying to be obvious so maybe she'll initiate something or give me a sign that she likes me too.) | Can't tell if a girl likes me, and i'm getting sick of going back between thinking she does and she doesn't, but don't know what to do about it. |
t3_128m3d | AskReddit | What's the most fucked up dream you've ever had? | Here is mine.
So in my dream, the world was being slowly taken over by wild dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were running around eating people and pretty much causing a huge panic; and the only two people who could stop them were myself, and Adolf Hitler. Hitler and myself made our way to a gun store where we picked up assault rifles, sub machine guns, pistols, and I remembering grabbing what looked to be a M1 Garand. We were able to use Hitlers influence to get the guns for free because, hey, he is the fucking Fuhrer. After grabbing the guns we somehow were able to lasso two triceratops and after magically obtaining saddles for them, Hitler and myself proceeded to ride the triceratops around town while shooting the other dinosaurs that were eating people. After riding around town shooting dinosaurs, we came to this tall tower which kind of looked like the leaning tower of Pisa, but it was vertical with no lean to it. Hitler and myself climbed the tower while being chased by dinosaurs. When Hitler and myself reached the top of the tower, we proceed to snipe dinosaurs from the top of the tower. After firing hundreds of rounds and killing hundreds of dinosaurs, I woke up. | Dreamed town was attacked by dinosaurs, teamed up with Adolf Hitler, grabbed lots of guns, Hitler and myself rode dinosaurs while shooting wild dinosaurs. |
t3_2b2ngk | relationships | Me [24 M] with my FWB [24 F] 3 months-sh, need some outside insight into behavior | So I guess most of the pertinent 'relationship' details are in the title. She has been my friend since freshman year of college. I think I'm just going to jump into the question and then add details via edits or comments based on what people think they need.
She recently asked to take a day off work since she is house sitting for a week which I am more than happy to do. But she also asked me to go on her family's vacation with her which seems very anti-FWBish.
So I think she's wanting more, and while I'm somewhere in the middle of what I want, I at least want to talk about with her to make sure we're on the same page before something awkward happens on her family vacation.
I had plans last night to meet her for some drinks which was a perfect opportunity to bring this up. So she texted me around the arranged time and I texted her back and then didn't hear anything for two-ish hours. When I heard from her again, she apologized and said that her phone has been having service problems with sending and receiving texts all day. Texting since then has spotty, but not negative or overall different.
This seems fishy in today's world, but it's also a pretty a paper-thin excuse so I'm inclined to believe it. Plus, our plans RE: house sitting and vacation are still on.
Should I continue as planned? I think I'm just looking for general insights and opinions. | FWB invites me on family vacation which seems to be a signal she wants more. I'm on the fence. Some odd behavior last night. Want some general insights. |
t3_2yhvaq | tifu | TIFU by wearing a shirt covered in my own splooge | Yes, this was in fact today. Back story time!
I'm a lonely enlisted member of the U.S. military and I am currently deployed. Under these circumstances ofcourse I take every opportunity I get to burp my worm. This happens in one of two ways. Either while showering I'll do my part in donating to the drain baby collection of my fellow brothers (always wear your shower shoes kids!) or when I am ever alone in my room I can get comfy and enjoy my favorite hobby since I was ten years old like it was intended. Now the clean up... this is where I fucked up. I had decided to use one of my shirts I use for going to the gym as my splooge towel and change it out every few days.
So, today I wake up pretty late and have to rush to get my stuff packed and head to work. My routine is always the same, grab my pt gear, physical training, shove it in my backpack, and go. Without thinking I grab that used splooge towel shirt and head off. Now my twelve hour shift is over, get changed for the gym and meet up with the six guys I go with and immediately I become the highlight of the fucking deployment. I finally notice and it could not have been anymore obvious. About 6 nice big ejaculate stains from my sleeves, chest, back and stomach. Something is wrong with me, so I'm not even really embarrassed and just laugh with them and go change my shirt and finish the workout like a champion. | Burped my worm multiple times into my workout shirt. Wore this shirt to the gym with my six buddies. I'll never live this down. |
t3_3ttbo6 | relationships | Extremely jealous of my [23M] gf [21F] and her studying abroad adventures; beginning to lose excitement for her return. | My gf has been abroad since August, and that is when I started my big boy job (graduated w/ Mech.E this past June). Coupled with all the stress/anxiety/depression that typically follows college-to-real world transition, I have been getting extremely jealous of her adventures and experiences. One of the purposes of a relationship is to create and share memories together, so knowing that she's making some of the best memories of her life without me cuts DEEP, to say the least. She'll text me about all of the wonderful adventures she had that day and the places she went/things she saw; while I try my very best to act excited and happy for her, I'll be FULL of jealousy, bitterness and even anger. Angry that she decided to go on this adventure without me because in my mind I would have never done the same (which is totally not true because I was abroad 2 years ago). I know that I'm being selfish and bitter, but honestly cannot control it.
It's getting to a point where the jealousy is overshadowing my excitement for her to get home. I'm finding that I am extremely annoyed with her when we talk, am losing interest in talking to her but feel obligated to because I know you need that comfort when you're abroad, and am losing excitement for her to come home because I know alllll she will do is talk about her adventures and experiences, while all I will do is remind myself that she did all of this without me. | my gf has been abroad for months and I've been getting increasinly jealous to the point where I'm no longer excited for her to come home. |
t3_4995s0 | relationships | Me [24M] and my friend [24F] of 5 months, her Hodgkin's is Stage II and unresponsive to treatments. Unsure how to help and guilty about not showing support recently. | A while ago I posted on how I befriended someone with cancer. At the time I thought their cancer was pretty easily treatable, but as time went on it turned out they're one of the rare cases where the treatments aren't working for her.
I've gotten busy with school and we'd get dinner and hang out to do painting, but these days I haven't been able to offer support. I check in with her now boyfriend and friends to see how she's doing and she seems like a pretty big mess due to the grim updates she's been getting on her results. Honestly, I know that it'll reach palliative care and she'll probably pass away within the year. I text her every now and then to offer support and I know she likes having any sort of company even if it's a stranger in a coffee shop. I just don't have that much time anymore to go out of my way to hang out.
I have a major exam, have to remediate a class in a couple weeks and I've been dealing with internal issues such as depression pretty badly for the past few months. I see her posting on facebook along with others mentioning how she has to get checked into urgent care and I feel bad that I'm just sitting in a library studying or at home.
How do you deal with knowing that someone you're friends with will most likely die but you have a fair amount of issues on your own plate? | Friend has cancer and is probably terminal within the year. I have my own issues but I feel bad that I'm not offering support. |
t3_2ft7h4 | relationships | Update: I [20M] ended it with my girlfriend [21F] last night. | [Previous Post] (
So last night I told her I didn't want to keep trying to make this work because ultimately, I didn't think I'd be able to get over what she did. When I told her she said she doesn't see any more reason to live and just walked out of my apartment, didn't take her phone, keys, nothing. I got worried and called 911. She's now in the hospital pending a psych evaluation for possible depression.
I was there with her last night for support but when they said I had to leave she told me to "have a nice life," and I left the hospital. She refused to let her parents know she's in the hospital and told me not to tell anyone, but I told her best friend. I needed to tell someone because I didn't want to be the only person who knew, especially since I am no longer willing to be romantically involved with her. She currently isn't allowed to have visitors.
Should I visit? Should I try to keep contact with her? I would just like to know she's ok and that she'll be able to move on with her life. | Broke up with girlfriend for good, she walked out and I thought she'd hurt herself so now she's in the hospital for psych evaluation. Should I visit or keep contact with her? |
t3_4j7ozx | relationships | I [23f] feel really alone even when my husband [22] is around | We've been married for a year next month, and have had some struggles for the past couple of months.
Mostly, anymore, I feel like he is absolutely addicted to his phone. He uses it a lot for as a means of communication with coworkers and work email, he also uses it a lot at work in his downtime. For him, his phone is a means of distraction and decompression after a long day.
Anymore though, it's hard to get him off of it. Every time he picks it up I can't help but get frustrated. He hardly texts me while he's at work anymore, while I know he gets on it, uses social media, talks to others.
I try to be accepting of the fact that it, and sometimes video games are things he needs to relax sometimes. But it's gotten to the point where I feel like he hardly pays me any attention, and is more enveloped in his phone/ online worlds. It's frustrating for me. I love him, but I feel so alone, even when he's home.
We are both sort of the anti-social type. He just isn't that into it, and I am cripplingly shy. I work, but wouldn't ever meet up with or hang out with anyone from there outside of work. I barely even talk to anyone there anyway, there are a lot of differences.
We don't really go out much either, a date night every paycheck typically. He's on his phone for a good chunk of it though. And the last time, it was difficult to even find a topic of conversation. It's hard to even get him to go out and go grocery shopping with me. I don't drive myself, so going out is somewhat difficult.
I've suggested we do something like join groups on Meet Up. We've skimmed the local groups, but never made an account or tried to go to anything.
I know he's really stressed at work right now, and has been for a couple of months. He's got a lot going on. But, it's difficult. I am progressively feeling more alone and depressed. I'm not really sure what to do. | Husband doesn't like going out and doing things/ socializing, we don't have friends, he's kind of addicted to his phone. I'm feeling alone and don't know what to do any more. |
t3_3ytgeh | tifu | TIFU By telling my girlfriend about my past experience with roadhead | This happened last night by the way. So my girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 weeks now and she isn't too fond of me talking about any of my past ex-girlfriends or even mentioning them in the slightest. Well last night we were running some errands and when we got in the car she hinted at giving me roadhead. Well of course my brain being the scumbag it is decides it's time to ruin my chances of any kind of sexual activity that night. She asks me if i'll be fine to drive while she performs and my answer was this: "Yeah I'll be fine, it wouldn't be my first time." Mood=killed. Needless to say she wasn't too happy and I got no action that night. | Told my girlfriend who hates my ex-girlfriends that I would be fine with her giving me roadhead because it wouldn't be my first experience. |
t3_27s6b9 | relationships | My [30 F] gf brokeup with Me [32 M] 1 month ago. She contacted first. We met and it feels like she brokeup with me again! | OK, ill keep it short, cause I need some quick points of view from you people..
We were together for 1.5year. 7months in the relationship we started having bad fights. Mostly my fault. After some months of having pretty constant fighs (maybe like every 2 weeks) she brokeup with me cause she 'couldnt take it anymore'.
So we stop contact for 1 month. After which she calls me. We chat a bit and arrange to meet.
We met yesterday and after chatting very nicely with laughs etc She brought up all our issues..everything that bothered her etc. She crusified me again.
So...What does she want?? She told me she shouldnt have agreed to meet me cause it makes it more dificult for her..but SHE contacted me.
Seriously i dont know what to do..try to fix it? or let her relax more and see... | gf brokeup with me, contacted me after month, met and she still blames me on everything. what does she want? |
t3_1y4a7v | personalfinance | 26yr old with 0 debt & very little expenses. Looking for suggestions on what to do with the money. | **Background**
I am a 26 yr old who has just entered into the work force about a yr 1/2 ago. I currently work as a gov consultant in an industry that is around 100% travel. I make around 52k a year, depending on workable hours and project stage (OT eligible). I currently have finished paying off student loans with what I made last year. Addionally, my monthly expenses are usually around $218/month (2 gym memberships & health insurance). My laundry, gas, rental car, and hotel is paid for on the road in addition to perdiem & the weekend a month i go home I stay at either my parents or my girlfriends. Therefore my paycheck (after fed & 3 state taxes) is all "take home". My goal is to have $40-50k in my account by July and to then find a new job.
**The Question**
What should I be doing with this money that I am currently putting into savings? I am looking for something that has high returns OVER TIME and plan to use MOST of this money to get more $. What would you suggest that is both safe and over time, lucrative? | I have a job that allows me to pocket all the $ and I have almost 0 expenses/debt. How can I use the money to make more $ over time? |
t3_10dpmm | relationships | [20F] I don't know if it's the right time to tell my boyfriend [20M] that I love him. 6 months | I am 20 years old and have been dating this amazing guy for about 6 months. Everything is going so well with him. We do fight sometimes, but it's always about stupid things, and we make up in the end, because we have such a strong foundation. He knows that I will tell him if anything is wrong, and vice versa. There is solid communication and we always have fun with each other, and have a wonderful sex life. Both of our parents approve of us and our friends like us together. I've honestly never felt happier with a boyfriend.
However, in the past I told an ex boyfriend that I loved him a month into the relationship, because I was 15 and stupid, and I am a hopeless romantic, and that relationship just went to hell, but they were for reasons outside of our control. I just don't want to move into things too quickly. I feel things are different with this guy, but I think I've said these things before about past boyfriends. I also don't want to scare him off. I know I'm young, but I really do think he is marriage material. He's everything I could ever want. I'm not saying I want to marry him right now, but in about 3-4 years, I could see myself still with him.
Another thing to add is that he doesn't really like to initiate things. He's not the type of guy to take charge or command of things, which might be why he hasn't said anything to me, or I might just be hoping that. I dunno.
That being said, I feel the next step into our relationship would be to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared it'll ruin things, and that's the last thing I want. Is this the right time? Or am I being blinded by rose colored glasses? | I am 99% sure I love my boyfriend, but I don't know if I should tell him, because that might be moving too fast and might ruin the relationship. |