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I am realistic so I know it's a waiting game so I have worked out the best place in my home town if I can not get to a boat. You want a good food supply a defendable area with multiple exits you also need weapons. This in mind places like ikea or the range (my towns shitty ripoff) are surprisingly good. You have food from the cafe weapons from the kitchen ware department plus you can use the metal from the flatpack chairs, you have barricade material from the furniture and radio equipment and wifi plus you will be in a mobile signal area so contact is possible. However always aim to get in a boat and out into the ocean because zombies can't swim that far without food.

ikea or ocean your choice. Oh and I am from the UK so you know this is well planned out advice based on difficulty in acquiring a gun.

So for context on who I am, and who she is: I'm 26/M, she's 24/F. We've been close friends for 2 years on and off (not because of fights, but because of life. The closeness always comes and goes). But anyway, we've always get close again, basically. She's written me from jail, confided in me, we've hung out one-on-one multiple times. So we're definitely more than just casual acquaintances. Anyways, it's been over a month since the last time we've hung out one-on-one. It's also been quite a few weeks since I've seen her. Recently, she's been falling off of text conversations really quickly, like I feel like I'm just a random dude she met in a bar as of right now. What will happen is that she'll reply to my initial text (usually asking her what's up), and she'll even ask me how/what I'm doing, but when I follow up, she just doesn't reply. So she at least says something, most people who aren't interested at all don't say jack shit. Our last conversation (yesterday) went like this: Me: Hey, what's up? Her: Not much trying to get ready for tomorrow running errands. How are you? What are you up to? Me: Yeah, I'm doing good. I've been super busy with work. And not much, hanging out with a buddy. I feel like I haven't talked to you in a minute, so I was wondering if everything was good. Btw, got any plans for NYE? No reply I feel like my message was a little awkward. As I said in the text to her, I was hanging out with a buddy. So me and him had a few beers, so texting, for me, when I have had one drink tends to get a little iffy. I feel like the message might have been cringe-worthy. I was like "I haven't talked to you in a long time" and "Btw, got any plans for NYE?" AFTER she said she was "getting ready for tomorrow", thus saying she had plans. So that was a stupid message. >.< I feel like it was a good sign, because she asked how I was AND what I was up to. However, she kinda fell off again like she did the last one. Keep in mind, I'm not blowing her up. The last time I tried to reach out was 2 weeks ago. I always try to space out the conversations so it won't come across as needy. I really want to figure out if I did anything wrong. It is really troubling because we've been friends for a while, and have been close and shared a lot of bonding moments. We've been out of state together, I wrote her while she was in jail, etc. But we haven't hung out since September. And she keeps on falling off text conversations recently. The last time she initiated a conversation was 2-3 weeks ago, and that was because she was looking for weed.

Friend acting weird. I'm worried I did something wrong. Would like to know what is going on and why the sudden distance. But most of all, I want us to be tight again.

I was in a similar situation when I was in high school. Every girl who would be friendly to me instantly became the subject of my lusts and desires. Like you I never acted on it other than very insignificant attempts at flirting. I am now 19 also and am over it. It was pretty much a combination of three things that finally helped me to enjoy my female friends for their friendship and not just as sex objects of my infatuation. First, I had sex for the first time with a girl who was a year older than me and little more than an acquaintance(I don't believe we had spoken before or since). This greatly reduced my tensions and I noticed I was becoming slightly less engrossed by my few girl "friends" at school. Second, I was introduced to Xanax. If you really want to feel relaxed and comfortable around your female companions, I highly recommend this(though always in moderation and not every day--I started off taking them 3-4 times a week and I instantly could feel a difference. I have since stopped taking them once I realized that if I could do it under the influence of the pill I could do it anytime.) Third, I spent a semester abroad in Barcelona and with all of the social interaction and even at points living with females made me realize that I no longer had any problems socially interacting with girls without becoming enamored. Another thing was that when I was younger I never wanted to think of women as anything more than sex objects because I was so engrossed by the females around me. Social interaction with girls (I was in honors in high school and there were way more girls than guys in the classes) really helped me to appreciate and respect my girl friends as just friends.

1. Have sex a few times 2. Find some type of benzo pill to take the edge off 3. Close, constant social interaction with members of the opposite sex. 4. Repeat.

Hi r/relationships. I made a throwaway for this because I don't want close friends knowing what's happening with my family. Also I'm typing this on mobile so I apologize for any errors or formatting issues. So, my dad is a wonderful man. I grew up with both my parents, as an only child, with a great life. I love my parents. They are everything to me. But, I think my dad has totally lost it. He's been drinking. A lot. Every day. He's drank my whole life, nothing too crazy. But within the last year, it's gotten bad. He's drunk by 10AM everyday. My mom is beside herself. She's had it tough- she lost a brother and sister to alcoholism. It's all over our family and she can't take it anymore. She recently told me her and my dad no longer sleep together and that she can't even stand to look at him most days. He's a walking mess. He's incoherent all day, he's loud, he's obnoxious and my mom has tried speaking with him about it. Calmly. And he says she's just nagging him, that he's got it under control. I feel so helpless. My mom won't tell any of her friends because she doesn't want to taint my fathers image, but he is a wreck, and it's ruining their marriage. It's killing me. I have always looked up to him. But, I just spent a weekend at home, and he disgusted me. He's a drunk. Plain and simple. And I have no idea what to do. I want to talk to him, thinking maybe he'll listen to me, be compassionate. I worry about his health. He's already in not great shape. I'm sure the drinking makes it worse. But my dad is a "man's man" and he doesn't do emotional confrontation well. Dismisses it, walks away. Maybe I could write him a letter? I don't know. I'm just looking for advice. Perspective. I feel lost. I am so angry with him, and so sad. I am heartbroken for my mother. If their marriage crumbles, I don't know what I'll do. They're my life. I'm just....so upset. I have no idea where to go from here. I knew his drinking had gotten a bit excessive, but I had no idea it was this bad. My mom kind of spilled her guts to me this weekend. I'm beside myself. Has anyone been in this situation before? My mom is scared to kick him out or start tossing ultimatums around. She's scared he'll drink himself into oblivion in some hotel. I'm honestly scared he'll go on a bender, too.

My dad, I think, is an alcoholic. Mom can't take it, but hasn't and doesn't want to dish out an ultimatum. Should I help? Do something? I'm so lost.

I have been in monogamous relationships and poly relationships. In poly, I casually dated people who met my primary bf but were otherwise socially separate, and my bf didn't introduce me to his other gf (at my request, I can sometimes be intimidated and socially awkward around beautiful women) but talked to me about their dates. I recently became friends with an attractive guy, and after spending much time with him and his fiancee I have found myself attracted to both of them as more than platonic. I know they are attracted to me, but I haven't directly expressed my feelings, and here's why: When I meet an attractive person and then find out they're in a relationship it turns off my attraction receptors. (I'm from an area where poly is uncommon, so it's usually assumed they're in a monogamous relationship where flirtation is considered rude at best or even infidelity.) This couple has experience with triads and threesomes, and they're totally fine showing PDA with their "other" around each other; I have no experience here. When they talk about their sex life it triggers my platonic feelings. I also find it easier to spend a lot of time with this guy [31M] than his fiancee [27F] because I'm an introvert who can relax quietly with someone for long periods while she's much more socially engaging which I enjoy bit can only endure for a few hours a week. She admits to being a bit insecure and jealous about her SO dating women, so I worry about how I'd balance attention between them. I'm not sure how to navigate my feelings and I'm looking for some perspective.

Attracted to guy and woman in a poly primary relationship with each other. No experience with a triad and looking for perspective to make sense of my feelings.

I was around 9ish, and me and my best friend were at the beach. So we were skim boarding, having fun all the while till his big brother and his friend wanted to use it. Being 9 we couldn't really argue. However we were having a fucking blast, so we decided we'd use our buggy boards (spelling?). They slid on wet sand so it worked. We did this for around 15ish minutes till we got kinda bored, and as a result I began running, throwing my buggy board on the ground, andd jumping on it. After about the fifth time the incident happened. It all looked fine, but the sand wasn't wet enough. So I jumped on the board, it didn't move. I feel forward and my back arched at a way to so my knee didn't bend when I hit, and I only landed on knee. The other thing is wet sand isn't like asphalt, or concrete, you don't skid; my knee took all of the force. I was also sprinting so it didn't help.

My knee is still swollen, five years later (I'm a young redditor) and looked liked [this]( except replace yellow with green for a few months.

I was asked to puppy sit for the evening for my mom's friend/one of our neighbors, who had an extremely hot daughter who went to the big college in our city. Their house was fucking huge, so naturally, when everyone was gone, I explored. The house, like I said, was enormous, so I knew it'd at least be an adventure. I explored one wing of the house; there were a few different office rooms, the master bed room, the media room, etc. Nothing real exciting. However, the other wing was where I would begin my quest. The downstairs of this side was pretty cool; There was a huge kitchen/living room/dining room/bar area that seemed way too big and have too many functions to be one room. I wandered upstairs from the omniroom and found a hallway with a bunch of bed rooms. I knew these were the "kids'" rooms, and the thought of the daughter peaked my interest. I walked in her room and, being the horny 14 yr old I was, I opened her drawers and began looking around. I didn't move anything, because I didn't want to be obvious, but for some reason I just wanted to look. The closet, however, had a laundry hamper in it. I walked over to take a look and inside were a bunch of clothes, however, all I saw were the black lace panties and bra, slightly covered up by other laundry. (At this point, just being in her room alone was reason enough to be horny for me, but this is when the madness took over.) I reached in and picked them up; I don't remember exactly what I did with the bra when I held it, but I think I just admired it or something like that. I put the bra back in and thought to myself that this would be a great opportunity to smell them, (they looked clean enough) so I did. Now that I was surging with a desire to get off, I put the panties back and went downstairs. I decided the bathroom was my best choice of venue. After some internal conflict about masturbating in my neighbors house, I tried to get my mind off it by just looking through the drawers in the bathroom. In one of the drawers I found a crumpled up $20 bill, put in my pocket, felt the erection, decided, "fuck it" and just went to town for a good 2...maybe 3 minutes... it was definitely satisfying, though. After that, I was kind of just in shock because of that whole sequence of events. I walked back into the media room; sat down; watched some TV; played with the dogs; and I waited for the parents to get to get home. When they got home, they thanked me, payed me, and I went home.

Dog sat for my neighbors who had a really hot daughter; snooped throughout their mansion; sniffed the daughter's panties; decided to steal $20 and masturbate into their toilet at the same time; played with puppies; got paid and left.

During my first semester in Univeristy, I met this very pretty girl in my Calc 2 class. She was very timid but I got her to study and hang out with me for a while. Even though she was timid, she had very liberal ideals which, at the time, I didn't agree to. We used to watch a popular TV show every Wednesday night (Lost, to be specific) and I would walk her back to her dorm. I would ask her out to go to a movie during the weekend but she always made up an excuse not to go. I think she started to dislike me due to my beliefs, which, when I look back, were ignorant and childish. After the semester ended, we lost contact and haven't seen her since (2008). The past few years I have called her on her birthday to congratulate her and she never answered or returned the call; I have tried texting her as well but no response either. I have her added to Facebook but I don't use it very much, so I haven't contacted her through FB. So, Reddit, I want to get in touch again with her but she is in another city about a hour drive from where I live and don't know of a way to just talk to her to see how she is doing, how life is treating her, etc. I would literally give anything to be with her but I just don't know what to do. Also, please tell me if I sound like a pervert, because I am really not. I am bad at explaining myself and I may come off as someone who wants to stalk some crush from college. She is much more than just a crush, I have felt this way ever since I met her; when she moved away, I thought I would forget about her and move on normally but I haven't (I haven't had any relationships during college) Feel free to PM me if you want more details. I feel I am missing a ton of things but we'll see. Thanks

I really like a girl I met early in college, lost contact for four years, she moved away to her home town. I want to talk to her and possibly see her.

Hello all, I was using a throwaway for my current predicament but he found it (and was super pissed I asked random internet people for advice.) so there's no point in hiding it anymore. I'm sure he'll read this and get pissed again since he's following all my posts now but, oh well. I can't really see my therapist until next week but this question has been nagging at me and I don't have a lot of people to talk to. So as the title states, I've left him and now he wants to start fixing the things that were wrong in our marriage. The thing is, over the 10ish years we've been together I've tried talking to him about things and he either never wanted to hear about it or it just never got resolved because he didn't care about what I felt or thought enough. Honestly, this makes me absolutely infuriated. Why now? Why after I left? I wasted so much damn time and now? NOW??!! I am just so furious I can't even show the emotion for it right now. I tried for so long and so hard and he only wants to give it a real go after I'm gone? Oh, an he somehow thinks us calling our marriage quits like this is easy? I can't even begin to tell you how much that angered and hurt me. It angered me because he thought I would quit easily? I didn't realize that 10 years of trying was easy. It hurts because he thinks the months I planned and contemplated even doing this was easy. It hurt, it hurt to know that this is something I have to do. It hurt to know he wasn't going to be apart of my life anymore. And, it hurt to know I had to come to this decision. r/relationships, in the past you have helped me come to conclusions and helped me to see what was wrong and what isn't wrong. I can't say I followed advice to a T but I was and am very grateful that someone is listening and trying to help. So Reddit, am I wrong to feel hurt and angered by this? Would any of you feel this way too? I don't even know if I want to give him another chance because frankly, 10 years is more then enough in my eyes.

After I left my marriage of 10 years my husband wants to actually try and I am angry about it. Am I wrong to feel this way? Should giving him another shot even be an option?

The reversal of roles is frightening. I can remember school very clearly, now I'm back to school, only this time I'm the teacher. I was a shitty kid, never worked at school, spent my time day-dreaming and being generally awkward. Today I see myself in some of these kids and I want to shake their heads and wake them up from their torpor. It's really weird being on the other side of the desk, I'm only 27. So yeah, you remember not listening to the advice adults might have given you, and you feel the frustration now that the kids don't listen to yours... Mostly I'm worried for them, I know my generation has it harder than the one before, but they are in an even worse predicament and they are too young (11 to 13) to realize it just yet. I think this is a notion that is very prevalent in adulthood: you worry more.

I'm worried and frustrated now that I'm an adult. I worry a lot for the kids, and in turn I'll worry a lot for my own kids.

German Rottweiler Rips Off Two Year Olds Face In Tragic Accident When I was two, my babysitter had a dog named Dillinger. This dog was an old fart for dogs and a German Rottweiler. German Rotties are fierce compared to their American counterparts, who just want to cuddle. He had arthritis in his hips. I did not know this and loved this dog. I was telling a friend of hers in the basement about the dog and pushed too hard on the dogs hips (which says something about the dogs pain because I was two; I couldn't push all that hard). He chased me around the couch four times before backing me into a corner and ripping half my face off. When three separate people who know and understand dogs and one of them actually trains dogs; when these people tell you that you need to put your dog down, PUT YOUR FUCKING DOG DOWN! It doesn't matter how much you love him, if he is in pain so severe that the touch of a two year old who loved him very much and would never intentionally hurt him hurts him, then he needs to be put down. That dog was taken into the forest, tied to a tree, and shot by my father. He should have had an injection with his girl by his side long before hurting a baby. And for the record, my father is an asshat who left two years later, so no, I don't condone what he did and I even think it was stupid and cruel of him. But when I went to visit him, he spoke of it like it was something to be proud of.

If your dog is old and suffering from arthritis, put him down. He shouldn't have to suffer just because you're too selfish to let go.

Essentially, I love my boyfriend. He's a very attractive man, he knows what turns me on and is very attentive to my needs and never pressures me into sex. However. I find that most of the time, I don't want sex. I've always had a low libido (either naturally or because of birth control or both). If I'm not in a relationship, I usually can go months without pleasuring myself. It's not something I put a high priority on. I'm generally more consumed with what I need to do that day, what tasks need to get done, what I'm going to make for dinner etc. It's not even just the craving part. As previously mentioned, He's very attentive to my needs. But it always seems like the moment he starts his seduction dance (ie. wanting to take a shower together, kissing my neck, giving me a massage etc.) I find myself more likely to refuse or be repelled. Almost as if the notion of him wanting sex from me immediately turns me off. I don't know if it's because I feel obligated or something that makes me want to do it less, but it's causing a great strain. I know as a man he has some needs, and he's been more than flexible with me. Especially since I already have some pretty strict "in order to get me in the mood" guidelines (must have showered (both), must not have bad breath, can't be before work, can't be after eating etc.). He follows them perfectly, but then the moment I fine out he wants sex, I become really closed off. I love the sex we have when we do have it. I'm always satisfied. But for some reason I hit a road block with the work up to it. Anyone experienced something like this before?

I become really closed off when my boyfriend wants sex, even if I really do enjoy it. I get turned off by the fore-foreplay. Any suggestions?

Okay, so me and this girl are really good friends. We hang out all the time, always talk, text each other all the time, basically just really good friends. We both have feelings for each other.i know that I had for a while, but she told me around two weeks ago. So we decide to start dating and if things get awkward, we'll stop. So the first date went really well. The problem lies in the second date. We watch a movie at my house and after a while we are kissing on the couch. This is where i fucked up. (I'm pretty sure.) I decide to be smooth and start feeling her up, I ask her if she's okay with it and she says "go right ahead". So I do that for a while and than her father arrives to pick her up. As she's walking out the door I try to give her a quick peck on the lips. Well she thinks its a tongue kiss and we tongued in front of her dad. Oh boy. The next day at school she says we shouldn't see each other anymore. That's okay, I guess. Today was the day after that and A won't talk to me. I am hoping to salvage a friendship out of this but I think she doesn't want anything to do with me. I was her first boyfriend and that was her first kiss, did I rush things? Why won't she talk to me? How can I salvage this?

tried to get a bit smooth with a girl and now she won't talk to me. Any advice would be appreciated. Note:we are both 16

Here's my problem: I am in my late 20's and recently married. My husband and I have a lot of mutual friends, most of them married and we each have some "just us" friends - friends that are closer to one or the other person. Anyway, one of our mutual friends is having a birthday soon. His wife will be out of town that week so she wanted to throw him a surprise party to occur while she's gone. The catch is she only invited the male friends, including my husband. So my jimmies are getting all rustled, because, well nobody likes getting excluded. I'd consider myself a closer friend to the B-day boy then a few of the guys going, who are more of acquaintances, and it sucks that I can't celebrate my friends birthday cause I've got a vajay. What's probably making this worse is we just finished up with a long gauntlet of weddings, and therefore bachelor parties. A bunch of parties where my husband and my friends were having out having a blast and I got left home. (no bachelorette parties in this group - wtf) I understand the bachelor parties. I'm cool getting left out of bachelor parties (okay well, jealous but still cool) But birthday parties? C'mon! So... I don't know. I'm mostly just bitching. My old friend groups never really divided down gender lines as much as this group does, so I'm just feeling out of my league. My husband, who was pretty bummed when he got the invite, suggested writing a short email to the wife and then the group basically asking if she's super firm on the guys-only aspect and if it would be okay if I (and one of the other wives) came too. I'm hesitant because I always felt that it's rude to invite yourself to someone elses party but on the other hand the snub is really bumming me out.

Wife is throwing her husband a surprise guys only birthday party. I'm friends with the b-day boy and I want to know if it would be okay to ask the wife for an invite. Also I'm a whiny baby whaaaaa.

That is what I don't understand. I am fat, but I know it is my fault. I have been sick a long time which has caused me to be inactive, but that isn't the whole problem. I have unhealthy eating habits. Yes, they were taught to me, but I am an adult and I do know better. It is my responsibility to do better. I have been trying my best to eat better. I have a seven month old daughter and I refuse to teach her all of my bad habits (my husband feels the same way). He is doing better at it than me, but I am making real changes (it's been hard because I have an issue that causes chronic pain and I have been trying to find a way to treat it so that the pain is bearable. This is not an excuse. It has been an obstacle, but I know that it also comes down to things I can control). I refuse to have a kid who isn't active. We want to make sure she enjoys the outdoors. I have gotten more physical activity because of her and I know that the more she is able to do (when she starts walking, etc.) the more I will be encouraging her to do (and I will be right there with her).

I do have medical issues that contribute to me being fat, but I fully accept I can do more and have been making an effort to be more responsible about how I ate. I refuse to allow my unhealthy habits to rub off on my daughter.

Hi. I am 23 years old. So I live with my girlfriend which is a 20 years old student, and her mother for 3 months now. I am unemployed for more than 3 months. Recently I started a business with a friend of mine. It's not running yet because there are some paper works to be done, but soon it will. It's gonna be an alcohol delivery business at night in which I will do the deliveries. Up until I started this a month ago I was looking for work and wanted to get a job for myself but then this opportunity came and I want to focus on it. Plus, the deliveries will be between 08:00 PM and 05:00 AM, so even if I had a job I wouldn't be able to do both. I couldn't go to sleep at 05:00 AM and wake up at 07:00 AM to go to work. All these months of unemployment built up the tension between me, my girlfriend and her mom. They started pressuring me to get a real job but I don't want to miss the opportunity to do something for me that could be 10 times better in the future. My mother sends me money monthly so I can pay for my food and bills, but they say that this business is going to be shit and I am gonna waste my time and money. I know, there is no guarantee that it will work but I want to try. It's my right. I can't leave my girlfriend's place because I would have nowhere to go. The money my mother sends me wouldn't cover the rent. Another reason would be that I will use my girlfriend's car for deliveries. If I would break up with her everything will be gone for me. I just want them to let me be and do what I want to do. I also write in my spare time and I intend to publish a fictional book in the future. My girlfriend says that all this is in vein, and will never make as a writer and that I need to get a real job. I have invested work, time and money in this project and I don't want to give up on it. Imagine if my friend would become a millionaire in the next 2, 3, 10 years because of this business and I would be just a regular guy working a regular job. I would kill myself. Am I asking too much from them? To let me try to live my dreams? What do you think I should do? And what would you do if you were in my shoes?

I want to start a business with my friend which requires a lot of time but my girlfriend and her mother wants me to get a job which would automatically cancel my business plans.

Posted this comment a few days ago, but certainly fits here: Was in a PE (Phys Ed) class once and in the horrible outfit they make you wear; short tight shorts, crap fitting Rugby shirt (I'm a Brit), and, as most teen guys know the most inopportune moment, a semi. We were sat around the school Matron (nurse) who was showing us how to do CPR on a doll (Resusci-Anne), then turned to the group (about 40 of us) and asked for a volunteer to do the recovery position on. As usual, no bugger volunteered, so the Matron picked up the register for the class, and picked 'at random' someone to lay down in front of her. Guess who was picked?

Had to endure the world's longest attempt at trying to hide a random boner in front of an unphased Matron, along with a rowdy group of teen boys, while wearing tight shorts...

Hey man, be ready to have a rough ride... Me and my room mates tried to schedule Century Link to come and install internet. The router comes in the mail, and nobody shows up to "install" (read: activate on the boxes outside our house/in the basement) it even though it was scheduled for that day. Then we rescheduled for two weeks later because "uhhhhhhh we're really busy?" and nobody showed up then. Another two weeks and another person not showing up. Another week and another appointment goes by. Keep in mind there has been at least one person home every time, all day, and sometimes even two or three. We managed to schedule for another three weeks, and the tech showed up 4 hours after the time window we had picked. So good luck!

2 months without internet even though it was scheduled to be installed 5 times. Still had to pay the deposit, still didn't get any discounts.

This reminds me a lot of my friend's previous relationship. I was a friend of her ex bf, I actually knew him a little longer and I was introduced to her through him. He was a really nice guy, really cute and had this life the party kind of personality. He quickly became infatuated with my friend and they just became inseparable for a few months. I think their first "red flag fight" occurred on her birthday. He thought she didn't like his gift and got upset. Im not sure how the name calling escalated during that fight, but that's when he first called her a bitch and cunt. And after the fight, when she was still upset, he tried to go in her room to continue it (we used to live in the same dorm hall). Her roommates let him in, unaware that they had just fought. I was sitting on her bed trying to comfort her. She told him to go away and he just grabbed her wrist and started whispering something really aggressively. I don't think it was a threat, but a continuation of the fight and name calling. He became really jealous and possessive. If she was hanging with a guy friend, he would interrogate her about him, just who he was and why were they hanging out alone, which would then lead to a fight. The breaking point was when he grabbed her and shoved her against her desk. They were fighting about her meeting up with a high school guy friend at our university. She tried to run to the door but he blocked it and grabbed her wrists and pinned her against the wall. I can't remember why he let her go, but when she was leaving, he dumped all her books and her laptop on to the intersection that she was crossing. That was around 8 months after the fight on her birthday to finally reach a physical point. She kept holding on to the person that he was in the beginning of the relationship, how they clicked immediately and were each other's best friend. I've told her what he has said to her is emotionally abusive and that it will only escalate, and it did. Don't wait for it to reach the physical point. I'm sure you can see the escalation in your own relationship. Your current bf also went from nice guy, to jealous, possessive, and name calling. It also seems like you are holding on to his nice guy image at the beginning of your relationship, just as my friend did. I'm telling you this because I don't want it to reach the point of physical abuse like it did with my friend. What he is doing now is incredibly wrong and concerning. Sorry for any typos or grammar or whatever it's super late and I'm typing on my phone.

my friend was in a relationship like this. Warned her about the emotional abuse and it only escalated to physical. Feel free to pm me

My fiancee and I are currently planning our wedding. It's been a stressful affair, with my parents and her parents having different ideas on how they want the wedding to be, and inadvertently putting a lot of pressure on my fiancee because she wants to make everyone happy while still having the ceremony she envisioned. She's not a bridezilla at all, but she does care about the details and has been doing a lot of work to make sure everything is perfect. I honestly don't care what kind of wedding it is, I just want to marry her. So I've been letting her make pretty much all the decisions about the wedding and I'll be happy with it no matter what it is. We still talk about the wedding planning though and she keeps me updated, and I help her whenever she asks for help. The other day she was picking out music for the reception, and she showed me a list of specific songs she wanted to hear. There was her favorite song, my favorite song, some oldies hits for the in-laws, and the rest was just music that we both liked. I noticed that one of her favorite songs was missing, which stuck out to me because the rest of her "top" music was included. I reminded her of the song and asked if she had forgotten it, and she said something like, "No, I left it out just in case we get a divorce, that way I still have one good song for my next wedding." I was gobsmacked. She said it in an obviously joking tone, but that doesn't change the fact that that song isn't on the list...so she really is saving it for her next husband. I haven't let on that the comment upset me because I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. The song isn't even one that I particularly love, but it's one of her favorites. Should I insist that she play it at the wedding? Her weird, irreverent sense of humor is something that I love about her, but I don't know about this. I want to feel like she's putting her all into this wedding and not making backup plans, even in jest.

Wife is planning our wedding, left one of her favorite songs out of the music list for the reception and joked that she wanted to save a song just in case she needed to marry someone else down the line. Is this a big deal?

I have been with my gf for about six months now. We spend a lot of time together and have traveled together. Things are amazing. She is absolutely wonderful and makes me incredibly happy. One on one she can see the love I have for her. She is a very loving; hearts, flowers, open, individual, so sharing her feelings with the world come natural and easy. I am an much more of the engineer type and don't feel comfortable posting mushy things to social media. I'm not a big social media sharer in the first place and she is (it's how she keeps contact with family abroad). I know it would be very helpful if I just sucked it up and expressed my love publicly but something about that just feels forced and wrong to me. Should I have no issues with this expression? She is a bit saddened that I don't gush about her to others. I guess it makes her question how strongly I feel about her.

I don't feel comfortable writing sappy things on Facebook and my girlfriend takes it as me not loving her enough at times. Should I just suck it up and post things or is there a better way?

I sort of feel like this belongs in /r/datingadvice, but it says anything over a month goes here. I am a 21 year old male, shes a 19 year old girl. We work together and I have gotten to know her pretty well over the last year. We have been dating for about three months and things have been going really well. The problem has come up over the last few days, since all of her friends have come home for Thanksgiving break. She made plans with her friends for Wednesday - Saturday, which is totally fine because she doesn't get to see them very often. The part where it makes me uneasy is that she is drinking heavily and spending the nights with different guys. I also found it odd that I wasn't invited to any of her plans Normally, if we don't see each other we text each other throughout the day, but I haven't been able to talk to her the last few days. The only thing she has sent me was "You do not want to know what I've been doing this weekend." which was on Thursday night. So am I just being paranoid? Does it seem like I'm liking for too much attention too early in the relationship? Or does her behavior seem a little sketchy?

girlfriend ignoring me while hanging out with a lot of old guy friends Even if I get no advice, its surprisingly nice just typing thoughts out.

I posted [this]( recently outlining my breakup with my ex. To sum it up, he treated me much worse than he should've throughout the entire relationship and I am happy to be without him. After talking a lot with friends and thinking, I finally realize I am better off without him. I wouldn't have said that even a couple months ago, though. Last night, I hooked up with a male friend of mine (we have been friends for 5+ years and never so much as kissed before) after some drinking. It was fun and I don't regret it. But I almost feel bad that I'm "moving on" from my breakup too quickly...? I definitely don't want another relationship right now. My ex texted me the other day and basically asked for my forgiveness again, and he doesn't see why I can't "just take him back". He's taking things pretty badly and I'd always thought that I would be the one who wouldn't cope too well with the breakup.

I kind-of feel guilty about moving on too quickly from my very recently-ended relationship. Is there such a thing as moving on and finding happiness too quickly?

Long backstory ahead: Basically, me (5'8, 120lbs) and my wife (5'2, 160lbs) are on completely separate diets and workout routines. Before we were married and she went through pregnancy we were something like: me (5'8, 140lbs) and her (5'2, 118lbs). She ballooned up to 165 during pregnancy and dropped back down to about 150 after having our son, and eventually dropped down to 135 before slowly creeping back up. I'm the opposite, I've been working outside since we had the kid and dropped a lot of weight and am just now starting to gain it back. Right now we're on completely separate workout routines, where I'm doing heavy weightlifting and the GOMAD diet to get my weight back up (the doctor told me not to do much cardio until I weighed a little more) and she's doing mostly cardio and can't do heavy lifts because of a restructured ACL and MCL in her left knee, so we really can't work out together. She's been going to the gym with her mom 3x a week now for the past month, but it really hasn't made a difference. I think most of it is our diet, we both wake up with a Coke in the morning and go to sleep with one, along with snacks all day and several other unhealthy eating habits. It's good for my diet, I'm trying to get as many calories as I can until I hit a certain weight and then I'm suppose to change to a cleaner diet (2-3 months from now), but horrible for hers. I've tried to broach the diet subject, but I'm not sure how to say that we need separate things. I really don't care if she gains or loses weight, I'll always love her and she completes me, but it's very upsetting to her that she can't get back down to her pre-birth weight. I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation before where a couple had to have radically different diets. How did you manage it living together? Whats the best way to make her understand we can't be on the same diet because we need different things without coming off asshole-ish? Are there things I can cook that would satisfy her calorie requirement and mine? I really don't care what she weighs, but it's important to her.

What can I do to help my wife lose weight like she wants and make her happy While I'm on a weight gain diet? Ps: sorry if this is hard to understand, I'm horrible at expressing myself through text.

Me and my girlfriend had the nastiest break up known on the face of humanity, it was extremely bad and family got involved heavily. I'm really close to my dad and we talk about everything, while my girlfriend broke up, he revealed details about he relationship that i didnt know about. Like my ex told her mom things about the relationship, and her mom told my dad , things I told my ex not to tell anyone. During this conversation, I diclosed some secrets about my ex at the time. Now we're thinking about giving this a second chance, and I think it could work, but I don't know if I need to diclose this conversation to her or just keep it between my dad and I. It's hard to just let her go because she knows I'm still in love with her, and vice versa, and if I let her go, and not explain why, she will spend the rest of her life wondering what happened, so that's not an option either.

My girl and I broke up, it was really bad and sudden, and out of anger, confusion, and depression, I let some pretty deep personal secrets about her past slip out during the conversation.

I'm going to say this because we've had drunk incidents in the past and while this story seems crazy/controlling, you should know she asked for a bartenders number one night when she was wasted. This was a while ago, so now I'm looking to see if there's any change. Went to a formal event with my girlfriend on the weekend. It was her sorority's formal. She got mad at me, for an unknown reason. She doesn't know why and neither do I. She gets moody and emotional when drunk and can't talk or remember stuff. When she was mad at me and stopped being emotional, she was up talking to a random dude who was likely hitting on her at the bar, they were one-on-one. They probably talked for 10 minutes. I asked her guy-friends (who know and like me) who he was and none of them knew him. Meanwhile everyone knows everyone at these greek events. I walked up, gave her a kiss, and walked away, he wondered off not too long after that. I saw she accepted a random Facebook friend request from a guy who looks like him, so I asked her if she figured out who she was talking to yet, she said "no i don't really care to be honest. i have other things to think about. saturday is over with, i don't want to think about it to be honest. it wasn't the best night so drop it." How do I trust someone who goes out drinking a lot without me, and just strays off drunk as hell talking to a random guy. I asked her about him in the morning when she could form sentences again. She said she has no idea who it was and can't remember much. I don't think someone in a relationship should be drinking that much. When she's with me, okay, but when she's alone or with single friends who are just as drunk, is it right? I don't want her to not have fun, so when I bring it up, I don't to come across like that.

GF talked to random guy who no one knew when super drunk, not sure if this is normal to not remember what happened when drunk.

I'm going to go all contrarian. OP, I say "no." You probably should not be concerned. So long as the child was born during the marriage, it is legally presumed to be yours. Trust me, if she takes the kids, she'll come banging on your door with a request for child support. That said, it'd be pretty nice if when your kid goes to look at his/her birth certificate, that your name would be on it. So go get that fixed, but now that you're divorcing, that might be something you have to ask the courts about.

I disagree and agree with EtchedChampion. And I have no idea because you didn't list a state or given many details about why you think you might need to be concerned. Plus, do you want visitation/ custody? Is the child really yours?

It always baffles me how people can call my opinions shitty, I dont have anything against trans people, my opinion that they will never be accepted in the gender they desire/associate with is just realism, nothing malicious well an interesting counterpoint but to me the entire point of male and female is reproduction in the first place, if you move from being able to reproduce to not being able by choice then I truly believe you have missed out on something very important in life. If you argue that it's the genes that determine gender fundamentally (XY females are still genetically women), I don't believe you can change that, also these procedures don't make you look like anything other than transgender, also I don't believe intersex people are truly male or female either and please don't get me wrong I have nothing against transgender people, I'll admit the thought of anything sexual with them disgusts me, but that's besides the point and I just want to be open about my viewpoint. society makes all of the assumptions about the way you should act based on physical appearance, and if that seems even slightly off people will notice and react, its just human behavior you have missed my point entirely, I accept people based on the way I percieve them to act, I do not believe it is right, again realism, but that is the way the world is, that is the way people are. as for appearances yes there are plenty of people who truly change well, I am nothing but happy for them, but there are plenty more who look just plain mutilated, I just dont want people undergoing these procedures thinking they will 100% come out the other side looking perfectly natural, because not all of them will. basically you read too much into my comment, I have a very good opinion of trans people, but realistically this world is far to cutthroat to accept any kind of differences, and people should be more aware of the societal issues involved with becoming transgender, honestly was my point wrong most people will never accept them: to me this is just a harsh fact

my point before was based on my perceptions of the real world, not my bigoted opinion (it is bigoted but that's none of your business is it)

I understand the whole transference thing and having a crush on your counselor is fairly common. But I swear to god that the feeling is mutual. I've had counselor in the past and none have been like this. I've dated many girls and I know the queues. Yea I could be way off but this isn't the main reason for my post. SO because I have it in my head that it is mutual, I keep having these fantasies of firing her as my counselor and asking her out. She is only a registered clinical counselor so there is no law that she has to wait before going on a date. I totally understand that this sounds completely outlandish and it most likely is soooo... Maybe this should be part of my counseling. I have read all over the internet that if you start developing feelings for your counselor that you should tell them. I feel extremely shy to do it. I literally honestly do want to date her, if we met under any other circumstances we probably would. So what do I do? Just tell her? Fire her and ask her on a date? Just ignore these feelings entirely (don't like this one because it's hindering). Mainly it would be nice to hear from someone who went through something similar?

I want to date my counselor. I have a crush on her and I swweeaar the feeling is mutual. Should I tell her in session about my feelings, or should I just ignore them?

Similar situation. My room mate has had a friend staying here for the past 2 weeks. He is a military dude, and he is very shy. He wont give you direct eye contact (something that always bothers me, to me it means you are a liar). We had a party, and someone broke his bong. It was an accident (and a cheap bong that he won in a raffle) No one knew what happened, but that did not stop him from asking every person if they knew who did it, or saw it happen. He is even hanging on to the broken bong, till he finds out how it happened (this was a week ago), or till it can be fixed. The reason? He holds extreme emotional value in objects. Since he won it, and it was a shining moment in his dull life, it was kind of an heirloom to something that he deems a successful moment in his life. He talks about his deployment all the time, but has no direct in life. He bitches the military wont pay for him to get a MMJ card so he can smoke weed all day. He is the lazy vet that other vets hate. All he does is complain. He is the kind of guy who when something is bothering him, he makes loud sighs, scoffs, and "jesus!" or "Fuckin a" sounds, just to see if anyone around him will listen to him bitch.

Military mooch complains about a cheap bong broken by accident at a party with about 18 people. Asked each person if they saw it break, wont stop complaining about it for the rest of the night.

So here's your typical /r/relationships post. I have been with this girl for 3 years. We got together by her approaching me, and while I did have a tiny crush on her, I did not expect much from this relationship. Just your typical teenage hook-up. But this one felt different, and later I actually fell in love with her. I loved her so much that I forgot about anything else: my grades got worse and my friends came to me to say that I'm not spending time with them anymore. I didn't really care. I was happy. This led to me losing two of my friends and really, all of them kinda gave up on me. She's not the controlling type, she's very outgoing and likes to go out and have fun. I do not. I'd rather stay home, watch a movie, and just cuddle with her. We argued a bit on this topic but we got onto middle ground. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we stay home. 3 months ago we met this girl, we'll call her Julia, through one of her friends. She's like the feminine version of me. We started talking a lot two weeks ago and I developed a huge crush on her. I still love my girlfriend. But it doesn't feel the same. I'm beating myself up for this. She did nothing wrong. I feel like I'm cheating. So my question for you is, how do I work this out? Try not to talk to Julia? Everytime i spend time with my girlfriend, I'm thinking I'm with Julia. It's eating me from the inside. On the other hand, my relationship with my girlfriend is a very stable one, and if I'm breaking up with her, I will not have many people left in my life, because my friends abandoned me.

Started to lose interest in my girlfriend because of other girl. Friends abandoned me because I did not spend time with them while with my girlfriend. I'm afraid I will lose everyone.

You're tripping, dude. If you put someone with even rudimentary JiuJitsu training against your average street thug, its going to be over pretty quickly. People who've never trained groundfighting are like fish out of water and will usually wear themselves out trying to escape before they even get a chance to attack. You can end the threat without ever throwing a strike, and if they're really fucking with you, you can put them to sleep or incapacitate them for months by breaking a limb. There's also a huge difference between "sport jiujitsu" and "combat jiujitsu". Just because the fight goes to the ground, doesn't mean you have to be the one on the bottom, either. As for multiple attackers, regardless of your training or background, the best defense is to get the fuck out of Dodge. At least with jiujitsu training, you're more spatially aware of being on the ground if you get overwhelmed and taken down by multiple attackers.

You are wrong about your assessment of Brazilian jiujitsu as a self defense art. In fact, the art was created by a small man who needed to find a way to defend himself against larger attackers. It was designed specifically for self defense.

The best Christmas present I received was a [Hasbro Beast Wars Optimus Primal]( when I was a kid. The toy was in itself an awesome present but the way I had to earn it was the best part. My parents decided to make it a treasure hunt one Christmas morning for me and my siblings to get our respective presents. There were a series of clues written in small pieces of paper, hidden throughout our house and yard, that we had to follow in order for us to get to the place where the presents were. But as luck would have it, one of the clues got blown away by the wind and was nowhere to be found. My parents didn't fold and just watched me freak out because I cannot progress further in my quest to find my present. After almost an hour after my siblings all found their presents and me just wailing like a lunatic because I was getting pissed off by not being able to find my present, my parents just led me to the hiding place. I immediately opened it and it was that toy. I wanted frickin Megatron.

Parents made me go through the mental torture of failure and helplessness in order to find my present which was the arch-nemesis of the actual present I wanted.

After having dated many women with kids, I can tell you this... yes, it's the idea of a commitment of a child. Now hear me out, my view on it is this. I live my life pretty balls out these days after a couple things happened to me a while back. I don't like the idea of being held back in any way. Ever since I was a kid, I'd hop on my bike and just ride wherever I wanted. These days I just go on adventures on a whim. It's pretty damn hard to just have spontaneous adventures when you have obligations at home. Sometimes I also do things that could get me in small trouble, which isn't good when kids are in the picture. If I'm going on an adventure, usually I want somebody with me so that someday I can share the memory with them. When she has a kid (I'm speaking from experience here) that completely throws that idea out the window. So I end up having to just sit and have a boring day/night. When you're sitting at home and suddenly you think "Fuck this, I'm driving to (insert far away location here) and whatever the fuck happens, happens. I have a couple days of nothing ahead anyway." then she replies with "Well I can't go too far or be out long because of the kids" suddenly your adventure boner goes flaccid and you're pissed. Dare not call somebody else to go do whatever with instead! Fuck! There's the "I'm going hiking up in the mountains nearby, lets go." and then she replies with "No, I'm too tired, plus I have to watch the kids".

Dating somebody with a kid is basically an anchor that kills many opportunities to enjoy what's left of your youth. Sorry, I'm an asshole... sorry... I don't know... it's way past my bedtime.

I am a 17 year old kid, in North Carolina. I have always been plus-sized since about first grade. I was just chunky... Looking back at middle school, my friends and some of the girls actually used to call me "fatty", and the worst part is that I was okay with that. I knew I was fat, and I wasn't concerned with it. I had just accepted this problem, and turned into some sort of excuse to not do anything about it. I have been self-conscious about my weight ever since I started my sophomore year, and have tried to stay somewhat active. In 2009, I was signed up for a 71 mile excursion hike in New Mexico at a place called Philmont. I was overweight for their required height/weight ratios, so I had to go on a crash diet in order to go. I did it. I lost 22 pounds in 18 days, eating one Lean Pocket, 2 Quaker Rice Cakes, and 2 Slim Fast drinks per day, along with a lot of water. I went on my trip, however came back home 2 pounds heavier than when I left. 71 miles, with a 50 pounds pack on my back, up and down switchbacks through the mountains for 11 days... and I gained weight. I gave up on exercise. I continued to play football, but I never lost any weight doing it. After this year's football season was over, I was at 269 Pounds, and 6'0-6'1, after just turning 17 years old... UNACCEPTABLE. I was tired of people's bullshit, and tired of getting played by people. So I made some life changes. I deleted my facebook account, I deleted my twitter. I exiled myself from the bullshit of my area. I even severed some friendships I've had for the past few years... However, I changed my life. I told myself I was going to lose fifty pounds by the time I started college. I was at 269.8 on New Years day. I have been on a strict <1000 calorie diet, including 1-2 Slim Fast shakes per day, and ONLY DRINKING WATER. I also go to the local YMCA and lift weights 3-4 days per week, and run a mile or so once or twice per week. As of today, February 12th, I have lost 21 pounds. I am under 250 pounds for the first time since my freshman year of high school, and still dropping weight.

just thought I would let the fellow wolves know that anything can be changed... Weight, appearance, attitude, etc... As long as you apply yourself entirely to the situation. SHIT WILL GO YOUR WAY, IF YOU FORCE IT TO DO SO.

As with most of these posts nowadays, this fuck up didn't happen today, it was a few days ago. Me and my friends were sitting in a Sainsbury's Café and I decided that I needed the toilet. So I got up and walked towards the toilet on a busy Saturday afternoon. As I walked through the door, I thought it was strange that there were no urinals in the toilet, only cubicles (i'm a male). But hey ho, i'm sure that was just the basic design for all Sainsbury's toilets. So I closed myself in a cubicle and did my business. I found it strange that around me I can hear trousers coming all the way down, and how strange it was that everyone in sainsbury's decided they needed to loosen their bowels rather than wait to get home. But Ho Hum, I decided to get on with it. I finished up and went out to wash my hands, again noticing the odd number of cubicles in the men's toilets. I go up to dry my hands in the electric dryer and look up to my right at the space that's usually reserved for a condom dispenser. However, on this particular day, that space was taken by a tampon dispenser. "That's strange" I thought to myself, "why would a man need a tampon?". That's when I realised, I'd walked into the GIRLS TOILET. Almost immediately after I realised what I had done, a woman had walked out of her cubicle and screamed at the top of her lungs. I guess it seemed kinda weird that a teenage boy was stood in the corner of a women's toilet. Next thing I know, i'm talking to a security guard about "public indecency" and how I just committed a criminal offence of perversion. My parents were called and by the afternoon of the next day EVERYONE knew of my encounter. Me and my girlfriend are now on a break.

accidentally walk into female toilets, get security called on me, my girlfriend is probably going to break up with me for trying to peek on women on the toilet.

My husband and I are atheists. We have a 3.5 year old son. We are trying to teach him about the magic of reality and science; he's smart, imaginative, and well mannered (for the most part). One of the "manners" we can't agree on is whether to say anything/what to say when someone sneezes. My husband and I both grew up being taught to say "bless you," but I have since dropped the custom while my husband has not. I argue that we should teach our son to either a) say nothing when someone sneezes because it's an antiquated custom that was born of an age old belief that your heart stops when you sneeze and your soul might leave the body/sneezing was believed to be a sign of the plague; I don't believe it's bad manners to NOT say something when someone sneezes, or burps, or farts or coughs; If not a) then b) teach him to say something non-theist like "are you okay" or "feel better" as a sign of respect and concern for the person. My b) option is more of a compromise with my husband; I would concede the argument and settle for b) if we are unable to convince my husband to drop the social convention altogether. My husband argues that saying "bless you" is good manners and it is a "non-optional social convention" (Big Bang Theory fans here), and not doing so is a slap in the face to whoever sneezed. He goes on to argue that the expression isn't even about God so it's no big deal, as atheists, to say it. I say "OMG" and "Oh my god" all the time and he argues that this is the same as that. In my defense, I try to not say "oh my god" because it seems hypocritical, but it's such an old habit, I can't seem to break it. Secondarily - we have DEEPLY religious family members locally and we hold hands in a family circle when they pray (like at Thanksgiving or other get-togethers). We have taught our son to hold hands during their prayer as a sign of respect for their beliefs. It bothers me a little that I feel obliged to do this, but on the other hand I think it is kind and loving that our family members pray (however uselessly) for loved ones. So I am torn on this matter, as well. This is a frequent occurrence and is VERY important to my parents and sister's family. Should we stop the practice because we're atheist and face a discussion and hurt feelings, or continue to partially participate out of respect for their beliefs?

Since we're atheists should we teach our son to say "bless you" when people sneeze or not? As atheists, should we refrain from any amount of participation in family prayer during extended family get-togethers?

Okay, so I put rubber on rollers, think pipes. Well I ride this platform that moves down and a hot ribbon of rubbers goes through pulleys and what not on this big pipe that spins and knits the rubber onto it. We cook them, then run a milling machine to make it down to the size we need. Well, the part I was putting rubber on was four inches in diameter and I needed to add four more inches of the rubber to it, so I fed the ribbon of hot rubber trough the pulleys and onto the start of the pipe as it was spinning and hit my platform into reverse and went to mess with the radio. Parts done, climbed off the platform, and hit the joystick to go forward and stepped off to unload the part. Normally the platform will stop at the end of the track since it just rides on angle iron, and hits a plate and stop there, didn't remeber I took the plates off to use a wire wheel to clean them off yesterday. Well I was putting so much rubber onto the roller the platform was going at a pretty good clip. Say maybe one to two miles a hour. So I was jockeying the roller down from the chuck and putting it into a hoist to load it up. I had a little bit of trouble, maybe too me a minute. Well I lit a cigarette up and looked up just in time to see my machine go off the angle iron, and hit the fork lift parked six feet away. Well my platform is at least eight feet long so it was way off the track. I messed it up, bent the control console, bent the part that puts the ribbon on the roller, (sticher head, think two alliumun wheels on a rod, controlled by a air line) to a 90 degree angle. I panicked and moved the forklift so I could hopefully pick up the platform and put it back on the track. Didn't shut off the platform so as soon as I moved the forklift it moved completely off track, all eight feet of it. Panicking again I went to put forklift in neutral as I hopped out to asscess the situation, but over shot it and back right into the platform. I got it kinda in the right spot and did matnience on it until first break and went home sick. This was at 9am. I'm waiting on the call, if not I'll find out what's up Monday I guess.

ran my machine off the tracks it rode on, tried to fix it, hit it with a forklift. Didn't do much unil first break at 9am, ran home like a little girl.

He told me this story when we were just friends - I'm pretty sure he'd never have told me now we are together which is all the more worrying. What else as he done that he's not told me? When he was 17 he went to Amsterdam and paid a prostitute to have sex with him. This makes me feel so incredibly sick. It makes me think he's a desperate disgusting man. I've tried to bring it up with him but everytime I do it leads to a huge argument. He tells me he was young then and that all boys do it. When I know for a fact a lot of boys I know would never do it. He says it's in his past and I shouldn't bring it up because it has nothing to do with me. To this I have no answer. I know he did it before he knew me but that still does not change the fact that it sickens me. I try telling myself that he's not a desperate dog but a te facts prove otherwise. It makes me feel so unspecial - almost as if I'm the best he can get without having to pay for it. It makes me think he'll just take whatever he can get

my boyfriend slept with a prosititute. How do I stop feeling sick he did this? How do I not care? What other things has he done that he's not telling me? I feel unspecial - he's just taking whatever he can get

Lately we've been much busier with school and work. We both intern and are in school full-time. I only get to see him about three times a week, even though we're a 5 minute walking distance from each other. I have a much higher libido than him and due to the lack of seeing each other, the sex doesn't last longer than 2 minutes. I've also been unable to mentally, "get into it," half of the time. I usually get a lot of unwanted attention from other men and recently a lot of my male friends have been extra flirty. I don't reciprocate, but I've been thinking about it. I rushed into our relationship after being in a two-year long, abusive relationship. He gave me the strength to stand up for myself. I feel that I've finally regained my confidence, both mentally and physically, thanks to my boyfriend. However, sometimes I wonder if we're together because I felt indebted to him. I haven't been single, probably since I was fifteen years-old. The curiosity is growing, especially since I live in a metropolitan city with all single and equally attractive friends. I feel bogged down and too comfortable. This will be my first city in the summer and I know I'll be going out a lot with girl and guy friends (that he does not really fit in with). My boyfriend is my best friend; we started as friends and I can go to him for anything. If I took a notepad and jotted my perfect husband, he'd have every single credential, plus more that I hadn't even thought of. Lastly, I'm his only true friend. I've tried to encourage him to go out without me, but he's more introverted. Slowly but surely, he's stopped talking to all of his friends besides me and his direct family. I go out without him often and meet him later that night or the next morning. He's having the worst semester so far and everything about our relationship has appeared absolutely perfect from the start. We are extremely relaxed people and issues are always discussed (we don't fight, yell, etc.). If I said anything about breaking up, it'd appear from completely out of nowhere to him. I don't want to break his heart. I told him I did not want to share an apartment for the summer and he cried. I have absolutely no idea how to go about a break-up if that's what I choose to do.

I am with an incredibly sensitive man, with whom I have never fought with, but the sex is meh, my curiosity is growing, and he has no other friends.

Much more: Risto Ryti - Prime Minister of Finland during WW2. He made a pact with the Nazis stating their alliance for as long as his government was in power. The pact with the Nazis was a necessity, otherwise there would have been 0 chances to last, and we would now be very much like the Baltics and Eastern Europe. When peace was settled with te Soviets, he resigned immediately, making the Germans our enemies for until they were driven out of the country. It was demanded that he were imprisoned for the rest of his days.

Finnish WW2 era Prime Minister gives up his freedom and risks making enemies with 2 of the most dangerous European powers in order to maintain the country's freedom.

I am globally a nice person but there is one event still make me feel extremely bad, 8 years after the deed. I arrived late at a lecture. There was this guy, very nice at that (he had lent me his whole dragon ball books collection a few months before) who was seating one seat from the end of the row, with an empty seat on his other side (left side) as well. I asked him if he could move one seat over to the left, leaving two free seats at the beginning of the row. And I took a seat on the first available seat, leaving one empty seat between us. For my defense, I really wasn't a morning person and I didn't realize how bitchy that move was. This wrong doing seems pretty tame compared to what OP did, but it's really the one thing I've done that makes me feel so bad about myself. And that's because he really was a great guy, who didn't smell and wasn't intrusive at all. And he lent me all his comics ! How fucked up was I really !

During a lecture I asked the very nice guy sitting next to me to move one seat over so that there would be room between us.

I lived with my exhousemate for about 3.5 years and we got on well. We eventually both got GFs and at first things were fine. We would all chat normally and there was no drama. His GF even came round once when he was away and chatted to me and my GF for a while about holidays and what not. Then it seemed rather suddenly his GF had a change of attitude towards mine. She started acting cold towards her and you could feel something was not right. She became bitchy and I recall occasions when she would not say anything at all even when my GF would say hi. Fast forward a bit and we had to go our separate ways recently. My exhousemate seems keen on keeping contact which is generally fine but for my GF it is beyond repair and she wants nothing to do with is GF and to an extent nothing to do with him really either. He has suggested we go to their new place for dinner and games before we go on holiday for 2 months. He messaged a couple of times and it has got to the point where I need to tell him and I was initially going to tell him we are too busy before our holiday and hope he would likely drop it by the time we came back. My GF eventually said yesterday that she would rather not have any contact with any of them and that she does not think his GF will have changed (and nor do I really) and she does not want to have to interact with her. I am not sure how to bring all this up with my exhousemate and whether I should call him or just message him back? Should I just take this as end of friendship with him?

Moved out of sharehouse, exhousemate keen to keep in touch/have dinners etc but his GF was a bit of a bitch to mine and mine wants nothing to do with her/them. Should I just end it?

I wont use a throw away cause this will be buried in the thousand other comments. Anyways, I went to a party with some friends and my room mate. I wasnt feeling great so i decided not to drink and also decided to be dd (i dont have my license but im perfectly capeable of getting it, i just dont have the time i guess) anyways, everyones super hammered and my room mates black out drunk, making out with this sloth of a woman with missing teeth and all coked up and whatnot. Its his truck im driving and hes sitting shotgun. He decides he wants to bring her home and tells me i need to make room in the truck for her. The truck was empty besides him and i but hes too drunk to realize it, so i tell him theres no room and we had to go without her. He was pretty mad at the time but in the morning he didnt remember a thing. A few months later rumors go around that shes got herpes.

saved my room mate from fucking a disgusting, coked out, std filled cunt when he was black out drunk. (sorry for any bad grammar & etc. writing this on my phone)

Hello all, I've just moved to another state to attend my dream graduate school program. My girlfriend and I of nearly two years knew it would be difficult but we agreed to try long distance. But having been here (away from her) about a week I think I might have made a grave mistake. I can honestly say she is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I fear that I took her for granted. I was so preoccupied with ambition I spent more time preparing for grad school than preparing for our long distance relationship. A small part of me even wants to drop out of summer school and just go home to her. I should be happy that I actually made it to my top choice graduate school, but I am overwhelmed with feelings of missing her (and homesickness in general). We talked about our long term prospects and she was not particularly optimistic. This of course worried me a lot... So...how do I hurting so much from the long distance/be a good long distance boyfriend?

Moved out of state to my dream grad school. Instead of being exited, I'm overwhelmed by feelings of missing my girlfriend. I am afraid of losing her and regretting my taking her for granted. How do I stop agonizing over her/be a good long distance boyfriend?

Supposedly, we're already overpopulated by 1.6-1.7 billion. The guessed carrying capacity for humans is around 6 billion, and we're approaching 8 billion rapidly. For those who want "Who is reproducing so much and how much reproduction do we need to achieve zero growth?": Developed countries couples require 2.1 children to succeed them. Developing countries couples require 2.6-3 children to succeed them. Undeveloped countries couples require 4-5 children to succeed them. Africa has the highest TFR (Total Fertility Rate) in the world currently, reaching around 5 children per couple. This is because of couples needing to have children for agriculture, for lost children, and war. Infanticide is happening; therefore, they require more children to make up for those lost. This is a horrible waste of resources, because when they have the child that dies, he/she takes up resources and dies, with no aid to the environment or the family. This strain can, and has, led to the MAJOR TFR problem in Africa. Of course, they aren't adding to the population near as much as developing countries. India is one of these. Many children, high growth rates, low death rates. India's population is almost equal to China's, around 1.3 billion people; and it's growing rapidly. I'd estimate India's TFR to be around 3-3.5, which is a major problem due to it's lower requirements for children. My reasoning, and many others, is the lack of education for women available in such countries. Three things needed for population growth to cease normally include the following: Education, family planning, and access to resources vital to life. Yes, overpopulation is a bitch, but a studied phenomenon in environmental science is the crash after the boom. If earth's human carrying capacity is 6 billion, then there will soon be a major crash in population, bringing us down to around 4-5 billion. The population will then grow back up to capacity, and hover around the max value until circumstances change for the better or worse.

Overpopulation is due to developing countries having too many kids, this is explained by lack of education. Human population will crash, but it is unknown when the crash will occur.

Go to school, the best school you think you can afford / get into. Get a masters/phd degree in international law or economics or something related specifically to what you want to do. Become involved in student government at your school, obtain internships relating to international politics or local embassies, office work etc just get close enough to rub shoulders. I can't stress enough how important a top education and a lot of related internships and personal connections made as a result are.

1. Get masters in international law or economics 2. Work related internships 3. Apply for jobs with those you met as a result of your internships and student leadership , or as a result of your increased knowledge of the job landscape within that world.

You could have it play precisely the way that the original monopoly game does so as to eliminate any possible balance issues. The names circlejerk and hivemind are not as intuitive to their purposes the way that Community Chest and Chance are. Circlejerk is also pretty profane for a family game. I think you want mom or dad to be able to play even though they don't know Reddit. I think that's part of the reason why the remakes are only different in their style and naming, but not the gameplay. There's also the question of using karma as currency versus money. I'm sure you've seen great suggestions that use both. On the one hand you've gotta have a "Donate to Reddit's latest charity target, Pay $10", on the other hand a "Your post made it to the front page, collect 200 karma points" also seems to explain Reddit. The typical person would be confused by the idea of losing karma when giving to charity, however earning money when reaching the front page is actually not so silly an idea. It is fake money after all.

Do your best to stick to the original game, and since it's a group/family game you want it to remain intuitive for the likely person or two who doesn't know Reddit.

My boyfriend Mark and I have been dating for about three years and recently moved in together. Mark is great, and we have a great relationship, but he can be a little difficult to live with sometimes. Since we've moved in, I feel like I've been doing the bulk of the cooking and cleaning. I feel like it's important to mention Mark's mom was a stay at home mom, and she's quite an amazing cook. Since we've moved in, I've noticed he's been comparing how I take cake of our apartment to how his mom took care of their house. Mark and I both work full time, yet I do almost all of the housework. Obviously, I don't have time to make the most amazing meals. But I do try. I recently started trying to eat healthy, which requires quite a bit more cooking than we normally do. Which is fine, I enjoy cooking. Tonight I made pork chops and broccoli. I had just gotten off an extra gruelling, long shift, and my boyfriend had been off for hours, so I wanted something quick and easy. I asked him how he wanted his pork chops, and he said "the normal way." I said "oh, alright." I didn't really know what he meant, but just assumed he'd be fine with whatever I made. While I was cooking it, Mark came in and said his mom usually breads the pork chops. I laughed and said, "haha, every girl likes to hear her boyfriend compare her cooking to his mom's." He looked at me like I was an alien and had no idea what I meant. I then said, "you know, like it's not okay to say things like, 'my mom does it this way,' or 'my mom does it better.'" He still had know idea what I meant or what I was saying. So I continued, "you know, 'cause I just got off work and I'm cooking you dinner, and I've already started dinner and instead of saying, 'thank you' you're telling me your mom does it better. You can see they're almost done, I can't go back and do them that way, why say that?" He said, "well, you asked me earlier how you should cook pork chops and I couldn't think of anything. Just now I remembered my mom breads them." He still insisted this wasn't rude. Maybe rude is the wrong word. Ungrateful? I wasn't mad, I was just wondering what I could do to get my boyfriend to understand I don't want to be compared to his mom all the time?

Boyfriend compares my cooking to his mom's and thinks it's fine. I think it's rude, especially while I'm trying my best (and he doesn't have to lift a finger). Am I being unreasonable?

So this is the first time I'm really addressing a thought that has been haunting the deep recesses of my brain for a few months now. I've never been to this community before, and I'm hoping y'all can help qualm my migivings! I'm a 25 year old male, I'm 2 years single, and I've only had physical relations one time in that span. Before this era of my life I was sexually active, having had multiple partners, and both in and out of relationships. I've always had a very high sex drive, however over the last two years I simply haven't had the desire to go out looking to "hook up" in any capacity. When I used to go out frequently, I was generally the (male) center of attention, never felt awkward in any type of social situation, made friends easily, and was always surrounded by others. I have never had issues with having females interested in me, although many times not the ones I'd prefer, as we all can attest. Since the end of my last relationship, I just haven't had any desire to go out to bars or parties or anything of the sort. I've enjoyed a few low key gatherings and kept in touch with a few friends from my hometown over the phone and internet, but have mainly been keeping to myself. The problem is I so badly want someone to be there to share this part of my life with (and the rest moving forward, ideally haha). Whenever I do by chance meet a girl, or have the opportunity to meet one, I am immediately disappointed to find out that they enjoy going out every weekend, partying, basically keeping a fast, young, "college" type lifestyle. I used to be that. I still enjoy smoking pot and drinking, but not to THAT extreme, and generally with only a few other people in a calm environment. I just don't feel like there are female counterparts to that and it's frustrating.

I think that turned into more of a ramble than anything, but I guess I just want a girl that doesn't understand the "casual hook up" any more than I do, and I'm sincerely believing they don't exist anymore.

That reminds me of the time I killed a hooker while she was giving me head. My boner punched a hole through the back of her skull and her brains splattered all over the wall. So anyways, I called my friend and he brought some towels so I could wipe the blood of my dick and not get bloodstains on my new pants.

I killed a hooker. EDIT: Why is this getting downvoted? My friend came through for me. Is it about the hooker? She survived you white knight faggots.

Im an Australian who travelled to Cuba in 1998 (no restriction for us). While there, I spent some time traveling with an American who was visiting Cuba "illegally". His only fear was losing the possibility of student loans or scholarships or something along those lines if he was caught out in any way. Keeping in mind that this was well over 10 years ago and things may have changed, but im under the impression that it's not that hard for americans to do. Essentially you can travel to a 3rd country in the region, such as the Bahamas or Mexico (stay a day or two) and then (separate booking so it's not on your tickets, itinerary etc) book a separate flight to Cuba that way. When i went there the Cubans dont stamp your passport with a big "CUBA" stamp, they affix a card (your visa) in it which has a nodescript stamp on it, and a matching nondescript stamp within your passport. Also pretty sure the restriction is actually not on Travelling per se, but on spending money there. So if for some reason a 3rd party is giving you an all expenses paid trip to Cuba then technically you are in the clear... getting such a paid trip is of course unlikely. As far as staying in Cuba goes, again, over 10 year old info from me, but it is one of the safest feeling places i have ever visited. My american travelling companion had nothing but good experiences and respectful engagement with the locals. They are happy for your money and are really very nice. Back when i was there, crime against tourists was almost taboo. One british couple mentioned someone trying to steal their camera in havana one night, but they got the impression from the experience it was some kid trying it out for the first time and that Jamaica was craploads scarier. Note, the american guy i met also did have the added benefit of speaking fluent spanish. If you are alone and dont speak spanish you may have some language troubles as not so many cubans speak english.

Met an American travelling in Cuba 1998, he had no troubles. He just told the US govt he was somewhere else in the Caribbean for the duration. edit. some fixes to wording

Right - I suspect it is there early, but I don't think you can know one way or the other and I don't think we should try to diagnose in advance. If you treat a child as though he has something you risk having it become a self fulfilling prophesy. FWIW both of my boys were on the far end of the activity scale - people commented on their energy levels all the time, and they never stopped moving. We're talking can't sit still to eat, lightsaber battles in bed constant activity. The older - and always the higher energy of the two - is not ADHD, and is currently an extremely active and very focused adolescent. The younger I believe is ADHD inattentive type, like me, but mild enough that we haven't pursued a label. His energy levels have come way down in recent years.

kids vary. It would be nice to see this studied but for any one kid you'll know when you need to know. Keep your eyes open but don't go looking for trouble.

My girlfriend of one year (19) and I (19 M) have been in a long distance relationship since she moved from Toronto to Vancouver for school in September. Its been smooth sailing thus far and actually quite easier than i had expected, especially because we've made numerous plans for the upcoming summer. However she just recently decided to find a job out west for the summer rather than return home. If she does work out west we wouldn't see each other for roughly the next 17 months minimum outside of one week at the beginning of summer and one week at christmas. She is rather shy about articulating her emotions and thoughts ergo has not been open to discussion this fact. I am really bothered than it seems she's excluded me in her decision making process and has shut down my attempts to discuss it. I'm reluctant to tell her that i have been mildly depressed since she told me the news because i don't want to seem selfish and truthfully without the foreseeable plans this summer i think it will add a lot more difficulty to coping with the distance. It is also not possible for me to move out west this summer as I must save for school next year and currently hold a position at a much higher paying job than i could find elsewhere. I guess what I'm asking is what approach, if any, should i take to express my thoughts with her? I don't want to tell her that i wish she was returning home because that seems selfish but it really has been bothering me. Any advice is greatly appreciated! :)

my long distance relationship girlfriend choose not to return home for the summer and is too shy to openly talk about it, how can i unselfishly tell her my feelings?

I use a pseudonym on Facebook. Initially it was to avoid my parents, keep randoms from friending me, and avoid having embarrassing information tied to my full name. I use it now mostly because that's just what my name on Facebook has become. Someone who must know me quite well has created a profile using my full name. I found it in the last week of August, and it had been around for about a month at that point. It had 195 friends last I checked. At the time I dismissed it as simply the greatest prank that had ever been pulled on me. Now I am less sure of their innocent motive. Many of my friends and colleagues don't yet understand that the profile is not mine, and he (or possibly she) has begun posting disinformation about me. Not necessarily damning information, like detailed accounts of criminal activity, but telling people that I like movies or bands that I don't pay attention to, or a weird alternate-reality version of my political ideology, or that my birthday falls on a different day than it does. Annoying, but not damaging. The final straw was when he started fucking with my career. I am a musician, and I have a gig coming up soon. He posted that I have a gig two weeks after the actual event. I need people to come to these things and I need my band members to have the correct information, and so this kind of disinformation is NOT okay. How he knew about it, I have no idea. I have no idea how he knows SO MANY THINGS about me. So that was five days ago. I told him I would give him a week to tell everyone publicly who he really was or give me the password to his account (preferably both) or I would get in contact with Facebook administrators to shut his account down. It was mostly a bluff, since there seems to be no way to get any recourse at all on Facebook to deal with people who are harassing you. However, he has now blocked me, and I can't see him through my account, though I know it still exists because friends of mine have checked. How can I actually get in contact with Facebook admins to end this?

Someone I know is using my name on Facebook and insisting that they are me. It has gone far enough. edit: I have changed my name on my profile to my real name, hopefully that will limit the damage if I really can't do anything.

I'm a University student and my course started this September. I met this girl who's a fellow student and these last two months we started talking more frequently about many things, and she even helped me get through a tough time. Recently I began to notice a series of "signals" that could mean something: she sat beside me when her usual seat was taken during one lecture, she wanted to hug me after she found out it was my birthday one day... Then during the Xmas break I decided to gift her a videogame since we talked about it and she was interested, and she replied with a sweet email saying she was very happy and that she was going to miss me these weeks. Now, I do like this girl and I'd like to ask her if she's interested in something more than a friendship before I get "friend-zoned", but at the same time I don't want to ruin everything! I was thinking of starting by asking her to study together for our first exam, but any suggestion would be helpful. Thanks.

I have a slight feeling that she cares about me but I'm not sure if she means only as a friend or something more, and I'd love to find out without ruining everything.

I once found a woman drunk and passed out on the side of the road. She was completely wasted, and had vomited quite a bit on the sidewalk. So I woke her up, and gave her some water I had in my car. Somebody was calling her phone, so I answered it. Luckily, it was one of her friends. I explained that I had just found this girl, and asked where I could bring her to safety. It turns out this girl had wandered away from a small party a few blocks away. She had a decent amount of vomit on her clothes, and probably weighed upwards of 90lbs, if that, so I tossed the hoodie I had on in my car, locked it, and just carried her the few blocks back to where all of her friends were. When I arrived, I was greeted by roughly 25 sobbing, scared friends and family members who were all incredibly relieved. I left my number with a nice young lady who assured me she was sober enough to tend to her friend, and asked her to let me know how everything turned out. She called me the next afternoon and informed that this girl had severe alcohol poisoning, blacked out, and at some point just wandered off. It was so bad that they had to take her to the hospital about 45 minutes after I dropped her off. They told me that, aside from the obvious danger of her getting raped, murdered, or hit by a car, she could have died an unconscious death from the alcohol poisoning, and that I absolutely saved her life.

I found a drunk woman passed out on the side of the road, and literally carried her several blocks to safety, saving her life in the process.

I'll try and keep this as brief as possible. Around six months ago I [M 22] ended a four year relationship, with whom was my first ever girlfriend [F 20] . By nature I'm very slow moving with regards to intimacy towards strangers, and still feel incredibly novice in this field. I recently met a a girl [F 18] over Facebook who I chatted with for several weeks. There was an obvious connection between the two of us here, if nothing more than intense flirting. She invited me over for drinks just the other night, it was blatantly obvious it was leading towards sex. We had a few good conversations, along with a couple of drinks, followed by a little intimacy. I could tell the girl was definitely in the mood. I made the mistake of mixing some prescription pain killers with my drinks, and was some what faded through out the later end of the night. This didn't aid me what so ever. After seeing hundreds of green lights, I decided to go for sex, but did a very poor job. From everything to initiation, to foreplay. It was almost as if I had forgotten how after being in a loveless relationship for so long. It ended up going no further than some touching and a little kissing. Eventually we became tired so I decided just to call it a night and left. It was definitely one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. I have only heard from the girl briefly since, and while I've recognized where I went wrong, I want your opinions on whether or not I should brush it off and try for a second date with this girl and take things slower, or if I should just cut my losses, learn from it and move on. Also note, I'm not just out to get laid here, I'm genuinely torn over how to approach these kinds of situations as I feel like a complete newbie again.

Met girl. Girl was keen for sex. Didn't initiate sex properly. Awkwardness ensues and I'm not sure how to approach it or if I should move on.

We both go to the same grad school and share a lot of mutual friends, and always wind up going out in the same group. Back in December, I would say we had insanely good chemistry and I asked her out on short notice (she couldn't), but I had to leave town for two weeks. When I got back from that, I would say we saw each other about one every week or two, sometimes two times a week at school events. We would snapchat / text on a frequent basis, mostly playful and flirty things. This has been the nature of our "friendship" for the past few months, although she would always touch me, play with her hair around me, or initiate talking to me. The past week or two, she has basically been avoiding me. Hasn't initiated any contact or convo at all. It's like I don't even exist to her anymore or she is disgusted with me about something, but I have no idea what because I have never acted any different around her than I have in the past. I don't know whether I should try talking to her about it, try moving on and ignoring her back, or what. It thoroughly seems like she has no interest in me and may sense that I am still interested in her. Is it best for me to confront the situation since we share a lot of friends?

We used to talk/flirt all the time a few months ago up until the past few weeks, now she has given me the cold shoulder, I have no idea why, should I ask her about this?

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting anything on reddit ever. I have been going out with this girl for about two months. we both have really strong feelings for each other. Not sure if it is love but it is the closest i have been. she had an exboyfriend who went back to China. she said that he left her for another girl. but she did not tell me he was her exboyfriend at the time, just said he was a good friend so i didn't think much of it to let them text each other since they were so far apart. Anyways, he flew back to america and he says he loves her. she is not sure and is trying to decide between me and him. But the reason why I broke up with her was because she asked me if we could separate for a week so she can make a decision. I asked her if she would be seeing him and she said she would not. but then i was suspicious when things were not adding up correctly so i sent her a text that i was going to break up with her, she can't treat me like this, and i went to her place to give her her stuff and the other guy was there. A whole bunch of other shit happened too but I do think she does care about me. even though we only been together for two months, it's difficult for us to separate. should i try to fight for her? anything good is worth fighting for but i dont know if this is good. Thank you.

girlfriend lied to me, asked me to separate for a week so she can decide between me and another guy. should i fight for her?

Sorry if this has been asked before. I searched and couldn't find another like this. In the wake of the Uruguay announcement, I thought it might be a good time. I've been debating whether to post this for months now, but downvotes be damned. Every time I think about it, I always end up back at the start-- What counts as a living child and what is just part of the female body? I don't know if there's any pregnant woman who truly thinks that the baby in their stomach is equivalent to just another organ, but at what point does the line that separates the two cease to be so hazy? Let me clarify: I do not believe that the government should have their hands in women's rights, but we aren't just talking about the pregnant woman's life. There's another life in there isn't there? I am typically fairly socially liberal, but until I get more information, I can't throw my support behind either group. I am definitely for abortion in terms of emergency situations (rape, incest, life of the mother is threatened, etc.) I just don't know otherwise. There's always adoption as well right?

Which side are you on and why? EDIT: Not sure why I am being downvoted. I tried to ask it in a fair way... I am only curious.

First time here :) So we are buying our second house contingent on a sale of our first one. We are getting about 49k after closing fees. We are struggling at getting our emergency funds together with two kids under two and a dog (under 2k saved up). Since PMI rate is the same between 10% and 13%, by only putting 10% I only have to bring around 36k for the new house/mortgage. The balance would help us funding the emergency pot and also help us buying furniture. The difference between the two rates is about $60 a month.

What's better • Get 3% more equity upfront and a small emergency fund side ? • Smaller equity, but comfortable emergency funds and money for furniture ?

My girlfriend, who I've been with for a quite awhile, has always been I guess a little "trashy". I always tried to chalk it up to "fun-loving" but recently I'm having a big problem with it. She's the nicest girl, and she's really affectionate, but she likes to drink until she pukes, got a meaningless tattoo that ruined her back, has a tongue and belly ring because her sister said no to nipple rings (real happy about that), and really likes to wear skimpy, revealing clothes. Even if the rest of her roommates are all going out in jeans, she'll put on a skirt that barely covers her ass. Is there a way to explain this to her without really hurting her? Or am I better off finding someone more my type?

My girlfriend's a really nice affectionate person, but she's got some habits that I think are trashy and I'm really put off by them. Do I try to talk to her or do I move on?

A buddy of mine, who is a racist Canadian, married to a Mexican woman, loves garden gnomes. One day, someone stole one of his garden gnomes and it made him really upset. Then, a few weeks later, a mutual friend bought a garden gnome and put it on the Canadian's lawn. It totally freaked him out at first, because he didn't know who did it. Eventually, he grew to love the gnome. And when he found out his friend bought it for him, he felt even more passion for it. So, one night, after some hanging out with some friends and this story was passed around, an idea was thrown about. I can't give away too many details, but I can say this. That night, a fake Facebook account was made, an anonymous text message was sent, and it read a little something like: You'd better accept this friend request, if you gnome what's good for you. He now flips out on everyone every time all the friends get together, accusing someone new every time.

Two monkeys on a branch. Note: He is a redditor, so this is just icing on the cake. Why gnome you save me!? Just give into the demands!

So my girlfriend, who I have been dating for a little over a year, is moving to Japan in September and the both of us have agreed that neither is interested in a long-distance type thing. She is moving in September and while we never really explicitly agreed that it would end like the day she left, I suppose you could say that's sort of implied. However, as the day draws closer, I am finding it harder to remain emotionally invested, so to speak. Especially when we are not hanging out with each other. So I am currently torn between ending it now and "finishing it out" until she leaves. Has anyone ever been in this type of situation before? We have a very nice time when we are together but when we're not with each other, I'm finding it hard to see what the point is in continuing when we both know it's going to end soon. Also, as this is my first serious relationship, I am very interested in seeing what else is out there, as I feel this has increased my confidence and interest in other women. I feel like it would maybe be wrong to just start dating other women from the get-go, but in your previous experiences, how long have you usually waited before getting yourself back out there after a relationship has ended? Also for those of you with multiple relationship experience, have you found that your expectations and outlooks have changed when going into a new relationship as you have gotten older?

Wondering if I should end relationship now with SO who is soon to move out of the country and curious about when to allow oneself "back into the market" and what to expect. Sorry for all the questions and thanks for your responses!

First off: throwaway So, I took off my shoes and socks yesterday in favor of some flip-flops, came back later when it had become too cold for exposed toes, and attempted to rewear my previous pair of socks, as they were only on my feet for around fifty-minutes, just long enough for class. I got my left one on, and everything was normal; donning the second, I realized too late that I was not alone in my sock, and as my foot squished into this wet piece of cloth, the unmistakable aroma of semen assaulted my nose. I know it was my roommate, he was napping with his laptop in the bunk above mine. I have yet to say anything about it, and would love Reddit's input on my next course of action.

I put on a pair of socks I had been wearing earlier in the day, and found out it had been jizzed in. Now what?

Last year I found out that my boyfriend was (what I consider) emotionally cheating with 3 or 4 girls from our hometown. This included constant online chatting and calling them beautiful and the girls and him say they love each other back and forth. He seems to mainly be chatting to girls with lots of emotional baggage and offering them support, but it goes way past what I am comfortable with. Saying they are gorgeous and talking about how he finds them attractive and hinting at jerking off to them even, and he went to visit one of them but told me he was visiting family. I confronted him at the time, I told him I didn't feel comfortable how he was talking to them, especially talking about sex lives and sending pictures back and forth. He agreed he went too far. But now things have been back to normal except I have problems being able to trust him and ended up looking through his facebook messages recently because he was spending a lot of time on his phone and being very secretive with his laptop and tablet. This time I found messages from before last year of him having cyber sex with a girl, including getting dirty pics of her sent to him and them planning to meet up in our home town. I confronted him once again he said it was ages ago and he knew it was stupid and that they never went through with meeting up and that it was just talk. What makes me believe that he didn't go through with anything is that he has erectile dysfunction since early teenage years, and has never been able to have sex with any past girlfriends (just so you know it's not just me haha!). But that leaves me to wonder if he didn't have problems with ED would he have gone through with it? He denies that when I asked him. Along with that I found he is still talking to girls in the same manner as before, telling them how gorgeous they are, complaining about his lack of sex life to them (which is not from lack of trying, but from the ED, which he doesn't inform them of of course). And being generally way too affectionate than what I consider friends should chat like. I am not sure if I am overreacting but now I can't trust him and any girl he texts etc. I can't see it as just friendly chatting, I can't tell if my reactions are reasonable or if it's been warped by these past experiences.

My live-in bf of 6 years has been talking to girls throughout our relationship, texting and online, in ways I'm not comfortable with. Am I overreacting or is this too far?

Started dating the girlfriend that I had just gotten out of a relationship with the day prior. Was crazy about her but she was crazy in general (and a slut). I had had suspicions of those two for a few days especially after her not texting me back for hours while we were in the middle of a conversation and come to find out she had texted said best friend 17 times while i was still awaiting her response. This is all a few days before we broke up mind you. I'm like "wtf guys?!" he's like "idk lol shes weird" she gave me some bullshit excuse that i've forgotten when I asked why. A few days later the relationship ends because she's being flakey as fuck and starting to act like her old self again. I'm pretty upset that it turned to shit again so i'm chillin with a few bros. I get a call from a friend of mine and she's like "So so and so told me he's dating SuccubusBitch are you ok with that?" "Fuck. NO" "Yea I figured he was asking if I thought it was fucked up or not and I was like.. duh" I'm pretty pissed. No one seems to really give a fuck. I confronted them and told them I knew and they tried to deny it at first (yea after i knew for 100% sure) then said they didn't want it to happen like this. THEN CLAIMED I WAS THE SELFISH ONE. Because I should care about their happiness together above everything else right? They eventually got engaged and eventually broke up because wow guess what she started cheating on him.

Girlfriend who I liked a lot turns into a succubus and then relationship ends, starts dating best friend of 7 years 1 day after, they call me selfish because I should want them to be happy.. together.

I'm a 24m that went out with a 19f. I've been out of the dating game for a long time because of school. She originally messaged me on OKCupid and we had some great conversation and texts that lead to a meetup on Friday. She was way cuter in person than her pictures led me to believe. Anyway, we explored and walked around for a while in her town for a couple of hours. Got a little lost and even walked in the rain and got soaked together. We had some fun but I felt like I was out of my comfort zone and didn't generate great chemistry maybe due to how stunned I was at how smart and attractive she was than what I was expecting (Is this called becoming a sap?). At the end, she mentioned she was going to a birthday party and watching a movie marathon with her girls. She walked me to my car and did not take me up on the offer to give her a ride back to her place. So, I gave her a hug and said we should do something more fun later. Shot her a text Saturday asking about the movies and still no reply as of Sunday night. Throughout all of our interactions, she always replied on OKC or texts within a day. I'm thinking of giving her a call Mon/Tues about setting up another date at a museum. Any way for me to recover or just give up after calling? I tried to ignore her various features and focus on making quality stories and jokes was but couldn't and that led to me to just make horrible conversation. I feel like I had a nuclear meltdown.

Went out on a date with attractive and smart girl and blew it. What to do now and how do I learn from this experience/ prevent this from happening again?

Ugh, OP... I'm so sorry for the majority of these bullshit responses you've received. Here's the bottom line: Any time anyone does anything to your body that you do not want, it is illegal. If it is a sexual act, it is at the very least sexual assault. She touched your genitals without your consent; this is sexual assault. You are not at fault for not being more forceful. You said you turned away and pushed her hands away; this is enough to indicate you were not giving consent. At this point, she is legally obligated to stop. Momentarily considering 'going with the flow' does not change anything. At any point, you have the right to determine your personal and sexual boundaries, and the other person must respect them. If your boundaries are not respected, it is sexual assault. I had other points, but lost them in the midst of typing the above. Bottom line, there is no question that this is a matter of sexual assault, and anyone who chooses to insult you for being distressed about it is dangerously ignorant or immature. Now, having said all that, if you don't want to press charges (which I understand completely; while it was a bad situation, ranting about assault is probably not appropriate for the situation), you should at the very least have an open and honest conversation. Something along the lines of, "Hey, we're roommates and friends, but I really don't want to move those boundaries. I'm newly single, I'm not in good headspace right now, I just don't want to deal with this right now. No hard feelings, just... y'know, don't expect me to be your drunk make-out grope partner. Cool? A'right." You don't have to make it a huge ordeal, just let her know you're not down.

Yes, it was assault. No, you don't have to make a huge deal out of it if you don't feel inclined to do so. Just tell her it's a no-go for the future and move on.

Don't completely listen to the people saying that you shouldn't have complemented him in front of his GF. It really depends on the people in that relationship. I've had guys at the Gay Bar outright buy me drinks right in front of my GF. She didn't mind because we are far more secure with our relationship and she finds it as a complement that other people find me attractive. If the tables were turned and it was a girl hitting on her, same thing. Hell, I don't care if guys hit on her or check her out. It doesn't bother me because I know we are secure in our relationship and we have good communication. This isn't true for a lot of people and I'm guessing that dude and his GF was one of those.

Don't listen to all these people say you shouldn't have hit on him in front of his GF. Some people, like my GF and I, wouldn't mind it at all and find it flattering. People are just too damn uptight in this world.

This depends on a number of variables - how much do you cook? how much can you afford to spend? I survived on the cheap pots and pans until I got married. We got (an older model edition) of this on our registry: [Calphalon Stainless Steel]( I've loved it - we cook a lot, and apart from my wife accidentally dropping the lid of the stock pot and breaking it, these have held up like champs and we've been using them 4 years. I'd be shocked if I did not get at least another 5-10 out of them. At least. The one thing I'm less enthusiastic about are non-stick pans - dropped $80 or so on one (we only use one, basically it's our egg pan) 2 years ago and it's nearing the end of it's life span. Maybe we just got a bad one. Anyway, I'm rambling. Summary/

if you can afford it and you will use them, quality pans are a great investment. I cannot comment too much on brands, but I've loved my Calphalon and I know All Clad make great (but more expensive) products too.

Disclaimer: My life has been nothing like your life. Any advice I have would probably be useless to you. I've been married twice. I'm not Don Juan, but I've had my fair share of compatible and incompatible partners. There is an amazing range of physical, psychological and emotional differences from one woman to another. I wouldn't give up my marriage for anything, and I don't regret that she will be the only woman I have for the rest of my life. But I'm happy that I know what else the world had to offer. I'm glad that I don't have to wonder if I'm missing out on anything. I've had my share of wonderful, mediocre, and completely incompatible partners. You can't tell from looking at someone who's going to be which. Sometimes it's a physical problem, not an issue of libido or specific preferences. Your first time, statistically speaking, you will not be good. You will be awkward, end quickly, and be embarrassed about it. If you honestly want to wait, discuss sex openly with your fiance. Make sure that it's a learning experience for the two of you. Ask her what pleases her. Every woman is different, and getting those directions is much better than her not wanting to say anything to spare your feelings.

The #1 most important thing about pleasing a woman--make her feel as comfortable, desirable, and un-judged as possible. 2: Foreplay's like gathering firewood for the night. When you think "that's enough," multiply by five.

I'm pretty sure that none of these experiences are remembered. The non-travel ones are developing new skills directly that will have an impact (on learning more skills later). Anything they get travelling will be more from what you do during travels rather than the travel itself. At the same time, establishing a habit of travel that continues way past when they are young is a good thing.

What very young kids do is more important than where they do it. A habit of travel pays off more later, so it is still good to start early.

I got home from school one day and had a really bad headache so I went and had a sleep but when I woke up I still had a headache, it was like an 8 on the pain scale and I couldn't watch tv or read cause it made it worse. Long story short I had a really bad headache (not a migraine cause I didn't see any lines etc) for 2 and a half months doctors and specialists didn't know what the hell it was, had MRIs etc and nothing seemed wrong when it started subsiding we went to see the specialist and he was like oh it's probably hereditary so you're fine.

I had a really bad headache for over 2 months and the doctors didn't know why, then when I got better they were like ah it was hereditary you're probs fine

Disclaimer: Sorry for the long post! I know, I know, the wedding isn't as important as the marriage, it's just about the two of us coming together as one but.....I also want a badass party! Due to a very large (pushing 400) guest list and the cost of feeding a small army, we've had to cut out a lot of the extras that I thought would make our wedding memorable because of the budget that it takes to throw a party for that many people. Our ceremony church is already classically beautiful and I'm not worried about adding any special touches, although we are creating a display of family wedding pictures for the foyer, but I'm really concerned about our reception space. We are in an empty ballroom. Great for transforming into anything, unless you don't exactly have the extra cash to fill the empty space (womp womp). We have a 21 x 21 dance floor, dj station, buffet food line, one bar setup, large head table (that seats 30) and have decided to change up the table shapes to add more interest and attempt to fill the space. It would make things much easier had we gone with a rustic theme and could mix and match some burlap, mason jars, etc., however, I was a big fat brat when we started planning and wanted to be "different" so our style is traditional/classic, making all of this more difficult! We're willing to spend some money (1,000 or less) to add large scale decor, and can DIY, but I don't know what to do! Any ideas would be very very helpful! THANK YOU!!

Too many guests are eating up our budget (literally) and we need ideas to add decor that has a wow factor and will fill up space in our empty ballroom blah reception!

Met this girl a few months ago. I invited her to coffee and on another occasion dinner and both times she dropped some hints she was into girls (or gay friendly at least) and that she was interested in me. She then asked me to a group event with her friends. A few days later I asked her on a date and she said she couldn't do the day I'd chosen but rescheduled. The day we rescheduled to she confirmed she was still OK to meet but then at the last minute bottled it and said we should hang out with some mutual friends instead. I then asked her round to mine as part of a friends get-together, she thanked me for the invite but said she already had plans and we should meet up again when she was back from holiday. That was just under 2 weeks ago and I've not heard since. I think she got back from holiday on Sunday. I will be seeing her this Sunday as part of a group/friends event arranged some time ago. At this point I'm not very clear on where I stand, and I'm starting to think she is either waiting for me to initiate again or isn't actually that interested in me after all. What should I do? Here are the options as I see them: Do nothing. Wait until Sunday until I bump into her, let her lead the conversation and don't push anything. Wait until Sunday until I bump into her, then say we should meet up again - could either ask her to do something the same day or another time. Wait until Sunday then ask her what's going on (after some chat first) or invite her on an actual date to her face. Initiate conversation before Sunday, wait for her to ask me to something. Initiate conversation before Sunday, ask her to do something. Initiate conversation before Sunday and ask her on a date.

not clear where I stand with this girl who previously demonstrated interest in me but has been behaving a bit strangely the last few weeks (maybe due to nerves?). What should I do?

you are wrong on all counts. formula is number 4 on the list of 'best' foods for baby. 1. mom's milk directly from the breast. 2. mom's own expressed milk 3. DONOR milk and then if all else fails, 4. formula. because many infants survive on formula does not mean that it is "competitive" with breastmilk. at all. not even close. it SUFFICES to provide growth and nutrition. it does not create the thriving that breastmilk does - and luckily, most people begin giving their infants pureed foods between 4 to 6 months and stop formula altogether by 1 year (because its expensive and they think cow's milk is an acceptable subsitute at that point). and a child needs the antibodies and immunoglobins found in mothers milk for the first TWO YEARS of life for the true long-term benefits. "breast feed the baby the first time, after that it doesnt matter so much?" SO WRONG. i assume you guys avoided researching all the benefits of breastmilk and ways to increase production, etc. you mention "a nurse told us" and that's it? really, the internet has so much out there for you to educate yourself with. theres a TON of things to do to increase output if that was really the issue (many women are mistaken that they have a supply problem because they do not know how to look for other signs of good output).

you guys FOOLED yourselves into believing that formula is competitive with breastmilk in order to assuage your own guilt on quitting breastfeeding. quitting is OKAY and absolutely within your right as parents to do so but please, do not fool yourself or spread misinformation.

This technically started before the holidays, but I just learned of my fuck up today... Boss is a big fan of McDonald's breakfast. At least three times a week she brings in a bag and a Coke. And it HAS TO BE COKE! I've heard plenty of griping about when they give her a Diet Coke or Dr. Pepper by mistake. I thought it would be cute to get her a McDonald's gift card and write "FOR COKE ONLY" on it. I know - I know - I'm the bestest. Anyhow, went to one of our local McDonald's, got myself some food and asked for a $20 gift card at the drive thru. Total wasn't correct on the screen, was told "we'll get that at the window." Paid cash (stupid) and didn't check the receipt after handing over cash (double stupid). Hell, I didn't even register the fact that the drive thru employee looked confused as to why I was asking for the gift card... All that "faith in humanity" BS biting me in the ass again I guess. Fast forward a couple of weeks to this morning. In management meeting. As it ends, boss says, "Chumley Wonderbar , I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I tried to use this card and it didn't work" while handing me back the gift card. In front of other management folks. Ugh. Now everyone thinks I'm an incompetent kiss-ass who makes lame jokes about Coke.

Bought boss a McD's gift card that wasn't activated properly; got shamed for it in front of coworkers who now think I'm a ass-kissing moron.

For me, it was my grandfather. He was in the German army during World War II, fought in Stalingrad, was horribly injured when Soviet artillery hit his Panzer yet he still dragged his crew out despite being on fire. That's all he ever told me about his past when I asked about his scars when I was younger. That isn't what blew me away though. I got back from Germany last month where I attended his funeral, and there were about forty people ranging from their teens to and a couple my grandfather's age. I had no idea who they were - not family I knew, not friends I knew, and they barely could speak German. Turns out they were the relatives of the family of my grandfather's best friend who happened to be German-Jewish and had flown there from Chicago and Israel. What had happened I learned, was that after Kristallnacht, my grandfather had witnessed the synagogue in his town burn to the ground and his sixteen-year-old brain was afraid things would get worse for his friend and family. He convinced his grandfather (my great-great) to get his friend and his family out of the country. He did, was arrested, and died in custody shortly after. When I found this out, I was almost knocked on my ass. I had never known that because of my grandfather, and his decision to actually do something about what he was seeing his government do around him, there is another happy family in this world that almost certainly would not have existed.

At grandfather's funeral last week, there was the extended family of a Jewish family he helped escape Germany after Kristallnacht. Just thought I'd like to share this story of my family with all of you and hopefully hear some cool stories about your family as well.

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 1.5 yearsz I wrote awhile back under another throwaway that I had interest in another guy, Jake, and that we had briefly kissed one night. I got called a lot of names in here so I deleted the post. Anyway, I told my husband the truth and we went to marriage counseling the next day. We have been going each week for about 6 weeks now and our relationship has been really good. I no longer feel interested in Jake, and my husband and I identified what we need in a relationship to feel content and desired by each other. I still occasionally hang out with Jake in a group setting and only when my husband is comfortable with it. Fast forward to today when I get a message from someone claiming to be Jake's girlfriend. She called me names and asked if my husband knew about me and Jake. This is surprising because it means that Jake had kept texts from me from months ago. I messaged Jake and told him what happened. I asked him to delete any old texts from me because we are past that stage and it makes me feel weird that he still has that stuff on his phone. He said that he likes our old texts but that he would delete them. He said the girl is his ex-girlfriend who is bitter he won't take her back. I don't care what their relationship status is, but I do care if my husband somehow gets dragged into this. Should I message her back and say that Jake and I just got too flirty and nothing really happened between us? Or just not message her back at all? Should I tell my husband that she messaged me? I really hate talking about this stuff with my husband because I can tell that it hurts him. I would really rather not bring it up, but I also don't want to hide anything from him.

I was honest with my husband about my interest in another guy, we fixed our relationship, now other guy's girlfriend is messaging me about old text messages I sent him.

Well I still have one more year of high school but Computer aided drafting is offered as a trade (You sign up and go to university while in high school if you get accepted giving you a huge advantage) and that is one pathway to become an architect from what I understand. I don't know if this 100% what I want to do but this looks like a good place to start. Can't go wrong with a trade right? At the same time as a student I kind of want to keep my mind open to new ideas and such which I think would all help with no matter what I chose to do. But, i'm not completely obsessed with architecture/architects I don't know a lot about the field or anything so I'm kind of scared it could be boring. I'm also worried about the amount of jobs available but my school wouldn't be pushing as hard as they are for trades if they didn't need them. I guess I have a lot of questions >.<

What kind of jobs are available, Did you have any difficulty finding a job, how long did it take to get a Masters in architecture?

Me and him have been together for 2 years, known eachother for 5 and we live together for half a year. The fact is that my boyfriend is overweight. He has been rejected by his ex love interests and I guess he feels like he isn't attractive. But this couldn't be further from the truth in my opinion ( and in opinion of few other people that have told me that he's a good looking fellow). I've even noticed girls flirting with him, but he dissmisses that as nothing, becaouse he could never see himself as attractive. He is such a lovely, awesome and wonderful guy. I love him more than anything But he's slowly starting to suffocate me. He wants to know every detail of everything that I'm doing through the day. +his is very tiring to me, since I have a feeling I need to plan this around his jealousy and I end up not hanging with my friends because I don't want to br bothered with thousand questions about everything. He is just so clingy. Whenever we talk about this he tells me he trusts me, but that he's just weird. & want to solve this problem before it gets any bigger. He hasnt got any past traumatic experiences, we're each other's first. How can I make him stop his obssesive clinginess and jealousy?

My boyfriend is not letting me breathe and is too jealous. I need to solve this problem before I get fed up with him, because he's wonderful in every other way.

During the last couple of weeks my now ex started to be distant suddenly. Usually this is a huge warning sign that something was wrong, but I had learned that with her, usually when that happened, she was just really deep in thought about something. The weekend after that, when we got together as we normally did, we talked and realized that we needed to start working on meeting our goals again since we hadn't really be lately. The weekend was good, we got back to talking about everything again, then Monday came along and she went back to her place and to work, and she started to be distant again, going from texting on breaks and during downtime, to maybe answering a text 3 hours later, if even that. Then Wednesday came along, and when she got off work, I got the "we should take a step back and focus on being friends again" text. Considering we had been talking about how we had been being good boyfriend and girlfriend, but not as good of friend lately, it was a bit of a surprise, but an understandable one, and she made it very clear she wanted to stay at the very least best friends, and was looking forward to being with my as my girlfriend again... Then she points that I am too nice of a guy, and I let her get away with too much. We also had always had a philosophy of "do what you need, I know you are coming back home with me" for a lot of things as well, so I wasn't too worried... like a dunce. Fast forward to last weekend, I had a full day off work so we would be able to spend a full day together... and she was busy all of it with coworkers... but we were in touch. Then my birthday came on Tuesday (turned 26), I took it off so we could get together after she was off work... and I can't get a hold of her at all to see if we are still on, or if she was too tired (she works overnight shifts) or anything. She tells me later after she gets back to work Tuesday night that her phone died and she accidentally left her charger at work that night and wishes me happy birthday. Then this morning I try to find out about what the plan was this weekend... and she doesn't answer at first because one of her coworkers almost broke their leg at the end of their shift, and she is taking him to have it checked out. Then, she tells me that she "met someone who turned their world a bit upside down." and she "hasn't been able to figure out how to say it gently," and it was the guy who almost broke his leg tonight. And that brings us back to here... I've loved her with all that I am... and now I don't know where to go from here.

Crappy birthday, coupled with a sudden breakup out of the blue... and now I have no bearings at all, and I feel like a stiff breeze would do me in...

I'm currently a college junior, and in a pretty decent university. Being an extreme introvert, making friends here was always gonna be a problem for me. However, my freshman floor was very close. In hindsight, I should have expanded my social network when it was easier in freshman year, but I was complacent. I thought my group of friends would last throughout college. Enter sophmore year. I move to a different dorm, but I may as well have moved out of the college. Though we meet for the first half of the year, it is not nearly the same. My friends are branching out and meeting new people, and I'm just stuck. As bad as my social skills still are, they were basically nonexistant then. As a result, my friend group barely hangs out at all, which leaves me basically alone for a significant period of time. I basically spend weeks at a time laying in bed, either thinking about how sad my life is, or surfing on the internet. My grades, though never stellar, begin to take a nosedive, and while people in my year are growing, researching, taking opportunities and growing with their classmates, I'm in my room, ruing all of my missed chances. Near the end of sophmore year, I realize that I may allow my life to pass by me if I don't do something, so I start joining clubs that interest me. I enjoy the clubs, and my social skills improve a bit, but I still feel alone, because it's hard for me to hold conversations with people in the clubs. On top of this, my academic struggled don't improve too much. I'm still afraid to talk to people in my classes, so I'm basically in each class by myself. I'm also very lazy, so I don't manage to keep myself on task, especially with no one but myself to motivate me. I'm too ashamed to talk to the upperclassman because of my lack of academic direction/ interesting personality, and don't talk to underclassman because I'm ashamed that I can't help them nearly as well as any of the other upperclassman can. I'm worried that I will never live up to my potential due to laziness and cripplingly low self esteem/social skills. Though I don't feel as sad as Sophmore year me, I feel just as alone as ever. Sorry this is a rambling mess- I rushed through it.

Had friends freshmen year, they grew their social circles, I didn't. Joined clubs, but can't establish any relationships outside, and am struggling academically due to laziness and isolation. I'm scared this is me for life, and that I'll never grow out of this.

Alright any help would be amazing on what their laws are, or what I should do, or anything really. I got arrested two years ago for selling marijuana, I was a minor at 17 and was sent to juvi. I pleaded guilty cause I knew I was. The next day when I saw my probation officer I was told that I don't belong there, and she gave me 6 months probation. During these months of probation, I wasn't allowed to see a friend who got arrested with me, I couldn't hang out with anyone who was doing something illegal, and my mom drug tested me once a month and sent the results in. I completed all of this, and as far as I knew, it was over with. Now I've had two encounters with the police after this. The first time I was hot boxing my car, they pulled me over, ran my name and asked why I was on probation, I told them that I just got off probation about a month ago and that it was for selling marijuana. They took me out of the car, put me handcuffs, searched me and my car (without asking; throwing this in, in case they couldn't of done that) and found a greasy bag. They tested it for black tar, it came up negative, then they took my pipe and let me be. The second time I was at a corner store that got shot at and I was there leaving my report. They didn't keep me here, but I heard about them talking about keeping me for awhile. And to add to this a little more, about a year ago, my mom was trying to get my phone back from the cops. When she called, they told her she had to call the arresting officer to get my case closed. Every time she called him, she could never get a hold of him... Now my question is, what the fuck is going on? Am I still in the system as an active weed dealer? I haven't sold anymore since I was caught, and I don't plan on ever selling again, I just want this behind me... So does anyone know what to do? I plan on going to the police station tomorrow. Do you think they would give me a drug test one last time to close my case, or do they legally have to close it now, or for that matter, a year and a half ago... Any help would be appreciated.

Sold weed to undercover 2 years ago, got 6 months probation, 99% sure my case is still open. What do I do to close it? Would they drug test if I went in and demanded they closed it? EDIT: just some spelling errors

Me and this girl, we'll call her Kate, met a few years ago through a friend, and we had a relationship for a short time then, but lost touch. Just recently we began talking again and found that we have mutual feelings for each other. The problem is that we never talk in person. Our schedules are completely different, except for one class; but we sit on complete opposite sides of the room and have no opportunities to talk during it. As soon as the class ends, her friends get to her before I can, and my friends do the same with me. When I see Kate in the hall it's the same issue, her friends are always by her locker. I asked her if she wanted to hang out this weekend and she's all for it, but said she'd have to get past her dad. So now there's a strict parent in the equation. And to be honest I don't even know what we would do if we hung out. I can't go to her house because of the parent situation, and there's always people home at my place. We could walk around but where would we go? We could smoke but I don't think she's ever done that and I don't plan on taking the risk of asking her yet. I never overthink things with girls the way i'm doing with her, I don't know why i'm doing it. Sorry if this post's wording is a disaster, i'm on mobile and i'm pretty tired at the moment. Some kind advice would be greatly appreciated! :)

A girl and I have began talking again, found out we still like each other, completely different schedules, never talk in person, not sure of what to do if we hang out, beta mode engaged.

You sir, are very misinformed on the way that farming works. If the world farmed in an industrial manner enough food to feed the entire world's population on a first world diet there would not be enough land nor enough oil in our planet to feed all 7 Billion of us and in less than a century all of our farmland would be dead since since industrial farming destroys soil. This is because two thirds of plant produce is directed to cattle and poultry feed which in turn need twice the space to produce the same amount of food than a plant. The horrible amounts of oil needed to manufacture all of those pesticides and fertilizer have to come from somewhere and also have to be refined someplace. Not to mention that feeding people have the horrible tendency of making them healthier and to reproduce faster. And suddenly I realize this is not the place to argue this things.

you and me, we eat like kings only because other 6 billion people are eating shit and the cow you just ate probably had a better diet than them.

Well said and stated. I am sexually frustrated with the frequency and lack of sexploration going on. There is more to this than I have led on and openly talked about but I was trying to summarize. Left a few important details out. My SO is a wonderful woman and more importantly, a wonderful person in general. She's got a past about her that I know some about but it's causing her to be closed off sexually. She's a pleaser by nature so does she have the capability to be sexually active more and explore new things? Yes. But our situation is complicated because a student counselor messed her up and she doesn't trust them.

she has some issues that we are dealing with and it's a long process. I'm just airing out my frustrations and ranting in the least harmful way I know possible.

There's a girl a like, shocking I know. We're both students at the same college, working the same part time job. We met when I was already in a relationship, so despite how cool I thought she was I never showed any interest in her beyond being friends. I recently found she had a Tinder, or more specifically saw her listed there, so I know she's open to a relationship and single. I have been spending some time around her (shared hobby activities) outside of what I had been for about two weeks, but I feel like I'm having no luck getting her attention more than her other friends. Everywhere I look suggests flirting and "breaking the touch barrier." I'm all for that, except I don't really know how, nor do I know what else to do. I have no experience in actively pursuing someone and it is not something that seems to be coming naturally to me. What would be some simple ways to break the touch barrier or flirt without coming off as a creep, because the thought of just touching someone in a conversation feels alien and/or creepy, and flirting always seemed awkward and cheesy at best.

Friends with a girl for about 8 months. Never tried flirting or pursuing romantically. Casual ways to "break the touch barrier" or flirt without being creepy?

I (32/f) was in LTRs for basically 10 years between 2 men, separately. I've been single now, officially, since Feb when I moved into a temporary situation with friends before getting my own place. I'm in a little different place than you are, since I was the one to call off the relationship. I had already begun to rediscover myself, and do things only for me. The only-for-me activities have blossomed in my singledom, and many of them have set me up with new groups of friends. I'm not actively looking to date, but I did meet a guy who I've seen a few times. It's a little weird, but I'm also taking a new approach with myself to not be that clingy weird girl who flips shit when a guy doesn't text her back immediately. I figure I'm meeting new people, and if I see them one-on-one cool. If it develops into something, cool. But I'm sure as hell not seeking it out.

chill out. relax. enjoy freedom to go wherever and do whatever. meet new people. don't freak out. enjoy YOUR LIFE. the right person will find you.

My husband (30) is being treated for depression and is on anti-depressants. Our sex life has died in the process and although he has spoken to his therapist about it and had his medication changed, it doesn't seem to have made any noticeable difference. He spoke of his complete lack of interest in sex about four months ago and told me to 'do what I needed to do' to satisfy myself. I miss the intimacy - the connection - with him though. My biggest concern is that I find it's impacting on my feelings towards him. I have been trying to be as supportive as I've always been but now I get irritated with him more easily and have generally become a moody, impatient person. For the first time in our eight year relationship, I've started thinking about other people - dreaming about having sex with them - it's driving me crazy. And I have no idea how long this is going to last. He has just started making good progress in his therapy (he's been going for 7 months now) and I'm afraid of setting things off again by approaching this with him. How do I handle this? Has anyone been in this situation before? Please tell me how you have dealt with it or are dealing with it? I'm at a huge loss here.

Husband depressed and in therapy. Intimacy issues that I'm not sure how to discuss. Edit: I am a Female (30) and we've been married for 6 years.

So I'm coming to realize that I may be something of an anomaly, because I don't like to mention ex girlfriends or partners with people I'm currently seeing. Pretty much every girl I've ever dated, usually as soon as the first date, will say things like, "oh, my ex did/liked/tried that!" I really don't mind, I'm generally not the jealous type, but it just strikes me as a little odd, like, why is the fact that your ex also liked whiskey relevant to our date? I suppose it's a conversation point/meant to identify some familiarity with a subject? But if a girl I was on a date with said she studied abroad in England, and my ex studied abroad in England (she actually did, hence the random example), I would just say, "Oh I had a friend who studied there!" I don't get why it always has to be specified that it is an ex. If I were having sex with a girl and she said "do this, my ex did it and I love it," I get that, because it's bringing it up with a purpose and that can be useful for our relationship. But if it's just walking past a restaurant and a girl goes, "Oh my ex loved this place!" - ok, well did you love it too? Because otherwise why bring it up? These are just things that truly never even enter my mind to say to someone. Fast forward to recently, where I was on a first date with a girl who was mentioning her ex even a bit more than I've grown accustomed to expect. At one point she just grills me: "Are you a virgin?" I rather confusingly tell her that I'm not, and ask her why she would ask that. Almost aggressively, she reminds me that I haven't mentioned any exes through the whole meal. I felt kind of defensive and shot back that I was on a date with her, my exes weren't relevant to what was going on. She then proceeded to straight up ask me all about my past dating and sexual experiences. It was one of the worst dates I have ever been on. Am I really that weird for not seeing the point in all this? Maybe I'm just a huge prude.

I don't like telling girls I'm dating about things like past partners or celebrity crushes, unless it's with a very specific point. I just don't see how it's necessary. Does this really make me that strange?

My ex of 3 years on and off [more on than off as a whole, but more off lately] just broke up with me last week, saying she just doesn't care about me enough anymore and can't stand to make my life full of anxiety. There's a lot of details to us, I've done things to hurt her, she's done things to hurt me [more recently]. I'll spare everyone, but she's one of those girls I just can't shake off my thoughts of the future no matter what we've been through. I know she's already screwing other guys, she set herself up nicely for post-breakup shenanigans. I've gotten over this thought, it's natural, we'd all do the same. Social female butterflies excel at having guys follow them like wolves. Her best friend, who I have a slight history with, is still into me and we have plans tonight to check out the meteor shower. Cliche but hey, it'll do. So if this happens, I know there will be a rift in their relationship. I'm a little amazed this girl is okay with that thought, but whatever. I guess my question is, what will happen next? Once the grapevine is traveled is it possible for the jealousy to filter throughout my ex and for her to see the light in our weird, dirty relationship? Or am I just going to be a dick and ruin a friendship without any personal gain here? I already have plans to tell this girl, if she pursues me, that I'm in no place to date anyone else for now. It's true, after all. Wow, my ego is stamped all over this.

Probably going to ruin my ex's friendship by using her best friend for physical comfort, who I have zero desire to be in a relationship with. I'm a lonely fuck right now. What's likely to happen next?

I've gotten better about it, but I used to only be able to poop when naked. I have another "poop quirk" where sometimes the lights have to be off. This time in particular, I wished I'd needed the lights off. I was visiting with my fiance's parents doing my naked poopin' thang when his dad walks in on me. I'd somehow forgotten to lock the door. Pooping has historically been a difficult process for me (hence the superstitious quirks), so I'd often do weird things to take my mind off the whole process. For example, I learned by the age of six how to pull my innie belly buttion into an outtie. This time I was naked and cupping my hands around my belly button thumb-to-thumb and middle finger-to-middle finger so as to make what I called "the bagle" with my fat deposits (it could be called "the bundt cake" for some people. I don't judge). Future father-in-law swung in, took a look at me, and slowly backed out. Just two nights ago I'd been camping with my dad and uncle. I'd only ever before been camping before in what I'd now call posh settings, but Eglin AFB has some pretty your-ass-is-going-to-see-a-'squatch camping spots. I'd been mentioning my need to poop for a few hours and was instructed to just walk a tad bit down the path and just go off to the side of the dirt path we drove up on. While making my way down with a fist full of T.P. in tow (I didn't want to be caught off guard with a case of the forever-wipes, I noticed all of these sparkles on the ground. My head lamp was reflecting off thousands of spiders. Fuck that. Keeping in mind that my squatting grounds was home to these obviously gay spiders who no doubt wanted nothing more than to jump into my pooping asshole, I quickly stood up to wipe. My uncle called out to me and I was left to the realization that I'd turned toward camp in my haste and had been shining my head lamp onto my bare front body while wiping.

It's never great to have to yell out, "Did you see my vagina?" to your dad and uncle while still having to make sure that your ass cheeks aren't coated in your own feces." Also, "the bagel."

My mother tried to kill herself to get away from me when I was 15. My sister pulled a gun on me because she felt I stole her childhood at 16. I still get annoyed with movies that don't show a round in the chamber. The actual bullet looks huge when it's that close and pointed at your eyes. Somewhere around 13 my dad told me he and my mother were getting a divorce and it was my fault. Essentially I took my car for a joyride at 15 when grounded and got in a high speed chase. From that point on my parents cranked down on me. My mother became convinced I would destroy myself if she let me have any freedom so life became a living hell for all of us. There was no moving forward because the "rules" would change in order to keep me under "control". They all talk to me and respect me (I made my first million at 32 and second at 35). My kid sister is famous in her field. My parents are both self made millionaires through hard work, but they don't really understand the fundamentals of investing the way they should. They mastered hard work and saving though. They honestly understand sacrifice better than 99% of the people you would meet on a daily basis. I don't actually love any of them. I'll be honest, I have no concept of how to love anyone. It's something you learn from people around you. I can recognize just how broken I am in that regard and tend to shy away from any kind of praise or genuine affection anyway. I don't know how to deal with it. Honestly, this sort of thing trickles into every aspect of your life. I ended up a narcissist out of self preservation. My life was a constant battle to keep my head above water. At the same time, I did everything I could to create my own family and really messed those up (slept with my best friend's girlfriend because that sort of trade of goods for goods is all I understood). With all that said, I love my life. Part of that is my own narcissism. At my worst, I'm still my favorite person. I love what I do for a living and carved out my own niche to do it. Despite the trauma, the experience gave me a very deep insight into people that I would have lacked. Seeing my own mother fail so miserably and almost kill herself trying to control me, taught me just how frail the hardest of human beings usually are inside. Most of all? I have learned to never underestimate what I don't know. I might have gotten ptsd at 14, but I learned something for every piece of myself that was changed.

All parties need to work through the issues caused from mental trauma if they want to move forward and blame needs to take a secondary role to acceptance. But you still can be highly successful and happy in the end even if that doesn't happen.

No, I didn't realize it at first. I was probably busying being distracted by how friggin' gorgeous this girl is, but once I started to spend a lot more time with her, and saw how she lived, what her house is like, and her car, good god, her car... it was so messy that there was hardly anywhere to sit. She moved a bunch of clothes out of her mom's house one weekend, but she never took the clothes out of her backseat, and then she started throwing other shit back there until the backseat of her car looked like the aftermath of a tornado.

She was hot, probably a 9.5/10, but all the clutter and instances of losing her cell phone and/or car keys was too much for me to handle. No time for that shit.

i was at the mall and some guy came up to me asking if i wanted a gift card to abercrombie and fitch. he didnt look like a bad guy, just somebody down on their luck. he told me to call the number to confirm that there was 60$ on it so i did. i called and whatdo you know, 60$ on this fresh return card. he told me 30$ for it, so i said sure. he looked like he needes the money, and i only had two 20s on me, so i gave him the 40 for it. i know he probably just found a receipt, went in the store and picked some things up and "returned" them, but i said fuck it and gave him the cash.

who the fuk still shops at abercrombie and fitch? killed my wallet to help a bum who later explained it was for his phone bill instead of his "son" whom he returned the items for

If you were a car i wax you up and ride you all around town" This will probably get buried but there is a funny story with this one, it was 9th grade and my school did valentines grams. Well as it turns out you could put anyones name on the gram and send it to someone. It also so happens that one of my good friends has a crush on a girl in the grade below us, and her the same. but being awkward teenagers neither truly acknowledge this. We tried to give it a bump in the right direction as best we could. Actually thats a lie we knew this would only make it more awkward but still itd be funny as fuck. So we all get the grams, fill them out in my friends name and send them to her. Our favorite line being the one above, along with other less clever ones like, if you were a basket ball hoop i surley score, and other dumb shit a 9th grader could think of. Well little to our knowledge the school randomly screens these grams. We had written about twenty all being on a scale of somewhat vulgar to obscene. Surely one of ours was screened. Then they realized that there was a bunch of these obscene cards coming from this kid to this 8th grader. In the end the girl ratted us out and we were suspended for sexual harassment. BUT fuck was it worth it when they had those grams lined out in front of us with my friend and her in the room! oh the humility!

Send fake letters from my friend to girl in the schools Valentine card system. Get caught my friend has to live through accusations that he wrote them before we are ratted out.

Basically, I've come to the end of my first year of university and about 2 weeks ago I got drunk with my boyfriend, and as we were smoking outside we start a conversation with this guy I've been seeing in my uni building, outside ect. Since then he won't leave me or my SO (24M) alone. I'm certain he has some problems like autism or something, I've noticed in my building that he has a constant carer in uni. And I feel bad for the guy because he has said that he doesn't have any friends. Now, I honestly don't have any issues with anyone with any type of mental issues (i suffer with anxiety myself, which I'm just about to start taking medication for) but this guy really won't take the hint. We started to notice it being a problem when he would follow us around, come and start a conversation (which is awkward) and now in the short span of just two weeks from first speaking to him he has started only coming outside when he can see we are, asking us for our phone numbers, asking to hangout in the next few days and now, if we pass him if we're on our way outside for a cigarette and he's coming in, he's asking (almost in a demanding way) where we are going, that he'll come back outside with us ect. This is raging my anxiety up and I honestly do feel bad for the guy, I feel REAL bad but all my life I have been a carer for my mother and now I feel like he is forcing himself on us. So far we have tried to only say hi when walking past (to not be rude) walking into the smoking area instead of just outside my apartment entrance and EVEN walking past to the opposite building and hiding from him! I don't know how to shake this guy, he keeps asking for my number and I know for a fact that it's just in a friendly way but I don't want to keep worrying if we'll see this guy or not. But I don't know what to do :( I'm not a confrontational person unless I absolutely have to be and I fear if I get the security involved, he'll come up to us and ask us why we spoke to him about him. PLEASE help reddit, I don't know what to do :( my anxiety is going mental and next year, both myself and this guy will be returning to this accommodation.. I can't deal with this for another year...

Guy in my university won't stop harassing me or my partner, /i feel awful and don't know how to shake him, my anxiety is going MENTAL over this.