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i have always had a problem with trusting people to stay with me. my mum left me when i was a kid and girls have always been bitches to me. so it makes me feel like i dont really deserve to be with her and gives me a low self esteem sometimes she will text me by mistake and she seems to have better convos with over people. i love her we have been together for 5 months and i dont know what to do i have talked to her about this but it didnt really help me. im just scared of lossing her and i dont know how to get over this feeling i know if she didnt want to be with me then she wouldnt

how can i get other the feeling of losseing her and how do i get other the feeling that im not good enough for her

Hey guys, I [22F] going to be the Best "Man" this weekend for one of my closest friends [23M], marrying a [23F]. Of course, that will involve a speech. The sensitive part is that he and I dated for a few years on and off back in high school/university. It was pretty serious at first (the first "real" relationship for either of us) and the breakup was pretty bad/messy at the time (~4 years ago), but we've since patched things up and remained the best of friends. His bride to be knows our history, of course, and all of his family and friends do, too. She seems super chill, though admittedly I don't know her incredibly well - he met her after moving to the other side of the country for grad school so she and I haven't interacted a lot, although we have met in person, played some Settlers of Catan, and talked a bit online. The wedding itself will be very laid back (< 30 guests, it's a potluck and everything). Anyway, the speech. Most of the wedding guests know that I'm the groom's ex, so I don't know whether it's best to acknowledge it with a joke, or if I shouldn't even touch that topic with a ten foot pole. Any advice? Is it disrespectful to acknowledge our past relationship in my Best Man speech even in passing, as a joke? I feel like it'll be awkward as fuck if I do, awkward as fuck if I don't.

Potentially awkward situation delivering a Best "Man" speech for the groom, who I used to date. Not sure whether it would be more awkward to mention it with a joke or to avoid it entirely. HELP.

Hi ! I was just DD'ing for my friends on a saturday night. I have expired plates as of may 30th and my insurance proof was at home. A cop pulled me over to tell me that my plates were expired. I understand I should not have been driving but I have been late on getting them renewed (this is in canada by the way). The officer took my license and asked me for my proof of insurance, I did not have it so I told him so. He gave me back my license and did not ticket me or anything, he merely told me to meet him at the station before his shift tomorrow and bring the insurance proof. Currently am I in trouble? The problem is the station is way across the city and I don't want to drive without my plates renewed. If I did not make the trip to show him my insurance proof tomorrow as he requested will he be able to ticket me or arrest me, he does have my name and license number and all the information on the license but the address on my license is not mine.. what I really want to know is that as of right now if I do not drive my car until I have my tags and insurance up to date and do not provide the documents the police officer asked me to provide will I be in trouble

Police pulled me over, technically I committed an offence, did not receive a ticket or a citation. Is there anyway I can be charged for the misdemeanor after the fact ?

Both parties in this story are college-aged (18 f and 19 m). I work for a small nonprofit that employs about 5-10 people at a time. Last summer, I met a guy through work that I "clicked with." We did a casual dating/fwb thing for about 6 months. All that time, we were just waiting for the right moment to "officially" date, but it was always implied that we eventually would date. Just as expected, we dated this spring for a couple of months. However, he came back from a trip abroad and decided that we just didn't have enough time to spend together so he wanted to break up. Even though we talked all the time, he just couldn't be in a relationship with someone he rarely saw in person. Originally, the break up was more of a "break." He said there was a good chance we could date again in a few months when our schedules meshed better together. I was skeptical, but he convinced me that it was possible. It eventually became clear that that was no longer the case. He began pursuing other people and making it clear that things were over for us (romantically) for good. He said he still liked me, and that he wasn't sure if he'd ever stop liking me, but he wasn't interested in dating me. During all of this, we still worked together. After the break-up, there were times when it was awkward in the office. However, we still remained friends. Now it's gotten to the point where we talk just as much as we did when we dated, but without the romantic involvement. It's been a month now since we've broken up, and like I said, he is moving on. He talks to me about people he is interested and is very open about everything. We talk constantly still about everything... and he's one of my closest friends. I've come to accept the fact that we're not going to get back together, even though I wish that wasn't true. Although we only dated for a couple of months, there seemed to be something "more" between us. If I had been older, he was the kind of guy I would have liked to settle down with eventually. Even though I know we won't get back together, hearing about his new interests and things like that hurt sometimes. There are nights when our conversations end with me crying into pillow. I feel like I need closure on this relationship, but I want to remain friends with him. I enjoy talking to him a lot, both at work and during free time. So I need to find a way to get closure without losing the close friendship we have established. I can't "cut off all contact" since we work together... and even if we didn't work together, I wouldn't want to cut off contact. So how do I go about getting closure?

I dated a coworker, we broke up, and now we're really close friends. I feel like I need closure, but don't want to lose close friendship. Help?

Here's another thing I can confess: one time I was hanging out with two of my friends (let's say Friend A and Friend B). Friend A had been making fun of my beard on the way over to Friend B's house, and I was getting angry. We got to Friend B's house, and while Friend A was using the bathroom, Friend B wanted to show me his new gun that he had just bought; a pistol. I watched him take the clip out of the gun so I knew it wasn't loaded. Looking back on it, I can't remember if I watched him empty the chamber or not, but I was sure it wasn't loaded (and it truly wasn't). I also knew I was pissed a Friend A for making fun of me, so I decided to be an asshole and scare him. I asked Friend B if I could take a closer look at his gun by holding it. When Friend A walked in the room, I pointed the gun at him (knowing it wasn't loaded). I didn't pull the trigger or anything stupid like that. I didn't point the gun for very long either. Just for a second while I yelled "This is for making fun of my facial hair!" Both friends did not see the humor in the situation and proceeded to make me feel like shit and lecture me on gun safety for the next hour. I felt terrible for doing that and understand now that it's not something to joke about. They both still bring it up to me on occasion even though it's been years.

Pointed an unloaded gun at a friend of mine as a joke to scare him. My friends didn't think it was funny and made me feel like shit about it.

This is a tough situation, and I am certainly no expert. However, your eating disorder diagnosis makes the answer fairly clear. If you decide to lose weight (whatever the motivation), you need to do it under the supervision of a doctor and therapist. You need to be primarily concerned about your own health and wellbeing, and an eating disorder poses much more of a threat than being overweight. That being said, it is my belief that sex is a critical part of any romantic relationship, and if you want a relationship to work out, concessions have to be made somewhere. Either your boyfriend will have to accept you regardless of your weight, you will have to lose weight to be more attractive to him, or you will have to part ways so that you can both pursue healthy relationships elsewhere.

Yes, it's possible to use your boyfriend as motivation, but your real priorities ought to be placed on your health. See a doctor and diet carefully.

So this fuck up happened this afternoon, a little info before I start. I am visiting my aunt and her husband (let's call him uncle because I do not know what to call him) in Texas, and we are a Muslim family they are a very strict Muslim couple. So since today is Friday, the Friday prayer usually is full and crowded, my uncle decided to take me with him and I didn't mind (He was the Imam). When the prayer started I thought I had silenced my phone and I've put it screen face up on the ground in-front of me (It's a Note 4, too annoying to be left in my pocket) . Mid-prayer I hear a loud "UNACCEPTABLE!!" (I am a big Adventure Time nerd, my notification sound is Lemongrab shouting unacceptable) I got a text from a friend, 10 seconds later I get another one. The worst thing is that my wallpaper is a close-up to my gf's face and lemme tell you how stunning she is, red hair, colored eyes, with lipstick on. I felt the people next to me avert their gaze and I couldn't do anything I turned red quickly. I was hoping that was the end of it, BUT NOO I GOT 3RD TEXT FROM HIM. After all this I tried walking out shamefully, and feeling people's eyes looking right to me, someone knows that the Imam is related to me so they told him, and man lemme tell you how embarrassing it is to be 20 and be scolded by a really really old person. He talked to me for a good 30 mins before we left.

I forgot to silence my phone and left it on the ground, mid-prayer I hear Lemongrab shouting ''UNACCEPTABLE!" 3 times, then having my gf's face show up on my phone for a good 30 secs each time while everyone was praying making people uncomfortable.

I have been in this relationship for just over 6 months now. It started off as a one night stand thing with a Guy I'd met a few times and turned into more once I got to know him. We're very happy and very in love but every so often I'll be reminded that I have no idea what's happened in his past relationship (or why it seems to matter to me). I will be reminded through the likes of drinking games and it was a mix of his and my friends but the question came up 'have you had sex outside?' To which he drank and all his mates were like 'oh have yous?!' Which I had to shake my head to because I haven't. I know I lost my virginity at 17 and him 19 but I don't know any details of his sexual partners or relationships and I know I'm hardly all that experienced but we have the best sex life I've had with any partner. I've only had one long term relationship ( and a few one nights) so only one regular partner who once described his sexual history, describing one girl as 'a sack of potatoes' and another a 'cum dumpster'. He always said I was much better but it still put me off! My current boyfriend showers me in compliments in the bedroom department and I always ask for tips or improvements or if he wants head instead etc but he always says when I am happy and enjoying myself he is. I have never had a partner who does anything to please me and I'm so overjoyed my sex life has taken such a steep incline! But I still have these small surges of curiousity and jealousy that I don't know how to treat except asking then being upset by the answers...

Should I ask more about his sexual history and partners even though it might bother me (not sure why - everyone has history) or leave it?

As most people the US know, the US has been rife with police brutality cases in the last couple of years. As such, social media accounts often have opinions on both sides. Like many people, my family is pretty varied in their opinions...and I've got a couple bigots. That being said, there's a certain amount I can tolerate. After all, I can always unsubscribe from their posts. Until yesterday. I posted my own little jab into the mix (it was a copy of a twitter post where someone was criticizing those who commandeer "#BlackLivesMatter" into #AllLivesMatter, which I also find gross). So, my brother posed a question asking the meaning of my jab or what I hoped to accomplish. Smash-cut to an argument where my brother drops the n-bomb and tries to justify using racial slurs when people "act like their stereotype." I'm stunned. I'm furious. I'm hurt. I can't believe someone in my family would behave this way. I have blocked my brother and removed him from all my social media accounts. I want nothing to do with him right now; I don't know about in the future. So... here's my issue: What do you do when you've already sent out Save The Dates, but your relationship with a family member changes and you can't possibly imagine spending that kind of time with them? As a quick note, I won't be able to avoid my brother at my wedding. It's going to be a 40 person affair. His wife already doesn't want him to go because she "barely knows me" (I live in a different state), so I'm thinking they may lean on not coming anyways, but I want to make sure they don't. Is this too fucked up of me?

A couple months after sending my save the dates, my brother dropped a racial slur on social media on my page, and I want nothing to do with him. Can I just not send him an invite?

My girlfriend and I have been madly in love for two years and I think I'm losing her. I met a girl in March 2014 while traveling. We didn't flirt on the trip or even hit it off. On the trip back however, she started texting me. I continued to text her back against my better judgement. The conversation lasted the entire trip back. It wasn't anything too heavy, just casual talking mixed with inside jokes and emojis. I also agreed to meet with her just to feed my ego. I had no intention of actually hanging out with her. The girl asked me out when we got back and I told her no. The next week she called to ask me out again and I said I don't think my gf would appreciate that. I completely turned her down. I had no intention of cheating, I was just playing around. My girlfriend, found the text between us recently and it's driving us apart. She won't forgive me no matter what I do. I regret texting her so much. My gf believes I actually had feelings for this girl and tried to cheat. I came clean to my girlfriend and let her read all the texts and told her everything. I don't want to lose her over my stupid mistake. I love her so much and I'm lost as to what I should do. How do I make her forgive me? How do I keep her from leaving? I'm seriously losing it.

I texted a girl I met to boost my ego last year. My gf found out and is pissed. I don't want to lose her.

A bit about my situation: My father is an alcoholic, although he has never admitted it to his children (or probably himself). He also suffers from anger issues and depression. When it was time for college, I moved far away, and learned to generally forgive him and move on with my life. About 3 years ago, his alcohol addiction and depression combined pretty viciously, and it got to the point where we had to basically put him on family suicide watch. My mom and his doctor encouraged him to stop drinking and get on antidepressants, which seemed to help. For about two years, he was clean. Last night, my brother called and told me my father is in the hospital, looking as yellow as a sailor with scurvy, and had apparently taken up drinking again (at least a pint of liquor per day for the last 7 months), while hiding it from our family. This was pretty easy for him to do, since my mother has been spending a lot of time away building their retirement house, my brother just started his doctorate, and I live 3000 miles away. I spoke with my mother, and he has apparently been hospitalized for several days due to various complications of alcoholism and severe malnutrition. He didn’t want us kids to know about it, which is why I didn’t find out until just now. I’ve bought a plane ticket to go home and help out. However, I could use some advice for how I should approach him. My father has severe problems with women “bossing him around,” and tends to blame his behavior on others, especially my mom. He has already told her he refuses to attend AA, and thinks he can manage this by continuing to see his regular primary care physician. I want to have the tools to steer the conversation in a productive direction that actually leads him to admit he has a problem, and hopefully makes him agree to take steps to solve it, instead of throwing blame around and clamming up. Any advice is much appreciated!

Just found out my alcoholic father relapsed, has been hiding it from the family, and does not want to seek treatment. Seeking ideas for how to establish productive dialogue with him.

So I'm dating this girl from when I was 13 to when I was 16, and we were both each others first consensual sexual experiences. She was insane, and her mother was also insane. Her mom would pick me up at my house, she would get in the back with me and give me a sorta... half-assed virgin hand job. I would never cum or anything, cause I didn't want to get out of the van with a giant wet spot on my pants. The first time it happens I'm terrified that her mom is going to turn around and see us, or look in the mirror and see. If she did, she never let on that she did. So eventually I just assume her mom is super dense. Eventually she gets more and more daring, and eventually she decides to pull it out and try her hand at a blow job. Right there in the back, were her mom could just glance up and see. If her mom saw she didn't let on, and she awkwardly sucked on my genitals until I couldn't help but orgasm. I try to pinch it off and mitigate it somehow, but she insists on taking it to the tonsils. For a second. Her face turns green and she spits it into the front of her shirt. When we get out of the van her mom sees the obvious cum stain on her shirt and says, "Oh, honey. You're supposed to swallow that or use the napkins I put back there for you." ... then just walks away.

Ex-GFs mom had been watching her daughter jerk me off for years without me knowing, only to out herself by being nonchalant about a giant cum stain on her shirt. Fucking weird.

Really need some help in a pretty sticky situation. I repair and fix computers in my spare time to earn a little extra cash (virus removal, re-installations, hardware replacement etc...). About a month and a half ago my girlfriend of 3 years approached me about doing some work for her doctors office. She's a medical assistant so she's pretty low on the totem pole. At first I said no way because of the conflict of that being her place of employment, if any problem should occur, then we a have a BIGGER problem. She eventually talked me into it promising bjs which she did fulfill. I installed a video card, replaced two power supplies and replaced one heatsink. Payed for the parts out of my own pocket with no upcharge. Parts came to a total of about $150. All said and done I invoiced them for 297.00. Not a bad fucking deal. Welp, they haven't paid up. I'm to the point where I just want my fucking out of pocket cash back. Her boss is ignorant to anything tech so explaining what I did is useless. What should be my course of action here? Keep in mind this is my gf place of employment and shes only been there six months. We can't afford her getting fired or any action taken against her for what I did, which is doing exactly what I was supposed to do. Any suggestions? Really do appreciate any suggestions no matter how big or small. I'm to the point where I just wanna go up there and one way or another get my money before I walk out. That will probably get my gf fired. HELP!!

Did work for girlfriends boss at her office and the boss won't pay up, for whatever reason. Don't want girlfriend to get fired for my actions to get my check.

Hey guys, Just want some opinions if this would seem creepy/weird. (I'm a 26 male btw) So I was at a bar last weekend with some friends and I was going to grab myself a drink so I asked the group if they wanted any. One of the girls in the group asked for another glass of Muscat, so I went to get the drinks but was told they ran out of Muscat and had to go to the resturant bar to order more. I went to the resturant bar and there was this really cute girl behind the bar, I asked for the Muscat and she didn't look like she knew if they had and looked a bit confused, so she looked around and saw it on the top shelf, she's fairly short so she pulled a box over to stand on and I laughed, she turned and said "If I fall over and have to get stitches I'm blaming you and you'll have to take me to hospital". After she poured the glass she said it's $7 and asked if that's how much it was last time, I jokingly said it was only $5 last time while smiling and she laughed. Later on that night she was at the main bar and came over to serve and then she saw it was me and says "Oh it's you, I'm not serving you!" and starts walking off as a joke but then comes back and serves me. I was planning on asking for her number a bit later in the night and after a bit more "liquid courage" but about half an hour later I saw her with her bag on her shoulder walking out the doors. So my main question is would it be weird if I went back there next weekend, hopefully she'll be working again and as a joke asking for some Muscat (So she will remember who I am), and try and talk to her and get her number (but not make it look like I'm there just for that reason, friend and his wife said they'd come along to make it look like we are there for a few more drinks). I know I should have asked for it straight away instead of waiting and missing my opportunity, and I suck at picking up on girls flirting with me but looking back it sounds like she was flirting quite a bit! :-\

Bar girl flirting with me but finished before I could ask for her number. Would it be weird to get back next weekend to try and chat and grab her number?

Take it from someone who has traveled a lot and lived in five different countries before he's even hit 20 -- it's not all it's cracked up to be. While it's fun to be on the move, there is a reason why most people don't raise families like this. Not being rooted anywhere in particular can be especially traumatic depending on your personality, and even if you do find somewhere you belong, the psychological ripples stay with you for a long time. Your friendships are impermanent and you don't know how to maintain them. As for this crap about well-traveled kids being members of one world or human culture -- it's crap. That's not to say it isn't true, because it really is -- my outlook is very different from people who have spent their whole lives living in any one of the countries I've lived in. But it's not all it's cracked up to be. Like it or not, human beings are parochial creatures. It's kind of weird when you realise you don't fit in very well with people around you, no matter where you go.

leading a nomadic life as a kid is not that great. It can be, but it often comes with significant downsides that not many people are aware of.

I used to work at a golf course on Nantucket. The Men's Member/Guest tournament is the most obvious display of excessive wealth I've ever witnessed. Each day, the club would have two-sided buffet tables outside, refrigerated by a constant stream of more and more ice put around the food (this took place in late August). Teams are given a "gift," usually a sentimental and relevant item like the club's flags, or club-printed golf balls, but recently they have been as trivial as $125 crocodile skin loafers. I once caddied for this one guy who said he spent $5,000 on the previous night's dinner and said they were going to a "much more formal place" for food that night. Tips are handed out to workers like candy, there are 8 chefs preparing meat all day on outdoor grills, drinks are constantly flowing, and the caddy makes an average of $1,000 over three days. To top all this off, last year they had a roast pig, head and all, on the buffet table with an apple in its mouth and a goddammed teed up golf ball nailed to its hoof. People would laugh politely as they ripped meat off of the animal.

If you are ever looking to see such flgrant displays of wealth and American excess that you experience culture shock, look no further than Nantucket.

Hey reddit! I'd like some perspective.. I'm on board for forming a platonic relationship with my ex. We broke up just over a month ago, and we've both expressed that we're down for this happening as long as we left each other some space after the break up. Arbitrarily, we agreed we'd communicate after 6 weeks-- she'd contact me first. It's been 7 weeks now, and nothing from her end! It seems so petty to count the days like this, but it got me thinking...maybe she isn't down to be friends. I'm not really asking for advice per say on my situation. I'd more so like to hear from you why you are no longer friends with an ex who was once an important figure in your life? Somebody you know you'd be friends with if it weren't for the fact that you got romantic with each other. Why didn't you want to keep them in your life?

To those who chose to shut off all communication with an ex who you shared great memories with, why did you do so? Why didn't you make the effort to remain friends post-romantic feelings?

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and the only reoccurring issue we have is about him having female friends and stuff. I'm from South America and just came to the US for school, and I'm still getting used to the differences in culture and everything. Along with the cultural differences I'm also very shy, and I don't have very many friends. My boyfriend is much more social than me and he has a lot of friends, of both genders. Sometimes I come along with him when he hangs out with them and I always feel awkward around them, I worry that they are judging me and that they don't like me. They look like they're smiling sarcastically at me, and like talking to each other about me and stuff. I know it might be stupid but I don't like my boyfriend to have friends who are girls, especially if they hang out alone. Like I would prefer if he can hang out with girls but only if I'm there too. I don't know if I should say that to him though because he might think that I'm wanting to control him, but that isn't the case at all. I don't know why I feel so jealous of other girls, because I trust him and don't think he would ever cheat on me. But I know how girls are and I don't want them around my boyfriend. How do I approach this issue appropriately without being controlling?

My boyfriend is much more outgoing than me, he has a lot of friends, many of which are girls. I get jealous when he hangs out with girls, and I don't want him to but I don't want him to think I'm controlling.

Ok so this girl that calls me her first love and that i took her virginity keeps on trying to keep me in her life and i just can't take it anymore. She posts stuff of her going to frat parties and wearing slutty clothing and says it doesn't mean anything and all the hooking up she's doing isn't meaningful like the relationship we had. She is really indecisive and keeps suggesting we get back together even though she has hooked up with multiple guys (not gonna happen) She texts me almost daily saying she loves me and misses me and i don't want to be a dick and but at some point i might just tell her to fuck off. Does she really care about me or is she just waiting for a better guy to come along? I mean its been a while since we broke up on good terms talking to each other and stuff i still do care about her and having feelings but i really don't like being played for a fool and i think my life would be better if i moved on and just cut ties, but i really don't wanna hurt her. But I've noticed that she has changing thoughts about our situation, like one day she will be all over me and want me back and other days she will understand that we are broken up and practically leave me alone Should I just be selfish and tell her that there is no chance of me and her happening again or should i stay friends with her? Should I just be a dick? P.S. Her family loves me and she lives vary close when she comes back from college on breaks and she blames herself all the time for us not being together which i agree but don't let her know.

feel like I'm being used as a pseudo stepping stone and ex can't let go of me and I'm trying to get over it and move on but i don't wanna hurt her feelings because and i care about her i don't want her to be depressed

I dated a girl back in high school and she did something to me that was so bothersome, I think reddit should know. Back in high school I was dating a girl that was not one of the "beautiful" ones, and she had a crush on me since middle school. Now, she had a mean overbite (music reference) and was frequently called "Horse". In middle school, I still hung out with her because she was funny and always knew how to make me laugh. We joked and played around in class a lot to the point where we became good friends. Okay, fast forward to high school. Now me, I'm not the hottest guy in the world but I like to think I have potential. At one point and time, she wanted to go out with me. I just said "Hmm... Let me think about it", because I didn't want to ruin what friendship we had. So, I went home and seriously thought about it, and decided to give her a chance. Now, we dated for about 1 month and all we really did was the usual cuddling and kissing things little kids do. One day, she asked me if I found her sexually attractive. I said "sure, but let me get to know you more" because she did have a nice body once you got past the overbite. She tried numerous times to get into my pants, which I nicely said no to because I wanted to get to know her family and so fourth so just in case some bad went down when I banged her. I wouldn't deal with crazy parents trying to kill me, and I didn't want to bang a girl who was so fast into sex like that is all she wanted. One of the days at school, I went to our usual hang out and met her there. She told me how she "wants to have sex, and would be mad if you (me) said no". I told her I'm not that kind of guy, and how she needs to understand my situation. I never met her parents even once, and this girl wants to go pre-baby-making. She stormed off, and went to this fat kid. He was a wannabe goth kid with a shitload of pimples on his face, and had to weigh about 300 pounds. She literally fucked him in school right in front of me on the stairs that were closed at my school, and got caught by a teacher (lol, smiley face). I was in awe, not knowing how to react. The next day, I told her "Me, you, done. Go to him". She said "fine" and did so. We haven't talked since.

Went out with a girl that had a mean overbite like a horse, and she cheats on me with a whale because I didn't sex her. Edit: Added in something so I don't sound "full of myself".

Me (f) and my boyfriend have been together for a year, we're living together, and I do love him, but I'm not sure if I should stay with him. Whenever I bring up doubts I get told "if you have doubts then you don't really love him". I do love him, but I don't think we agree wholly on parenting styles (although the best match so far), we have very different opinions on certain moral issues, people, and life in general, and although I don't think he'd sleep with another woman, he does things he knows I consider cheating because they hurt me. For the "cheating" aspect: I snooped his computer (wrong I know), but he has a folder of naked pictures of his ex girlfriend and it was recently viewed while I was at work. He has an online dating account which he "uses for friends" I have no reason to think he has met up with anyone, (although he does have a lot of free time while I'm at work) but it hurts to think that he'd sit an chat with other women flirting and whatever else. So... are these valid concerns? I've talked about what I consider cheating, he knows my limits. For the worries in mismatch views and opinions... is that valid? Normal? Worrying? The last thing is... He's not my "dream guy". I love him, he has so many amazing wonderful things about him and he makes me laugh like no one else, feel good about myself, and I can tell him absolutely anything. But, he's not who I imagined spending my life with. Does anyone get their "perfect" person, or should we appreciate what we have?

Me and BF have different opinions and views, he's done things I'm not comfortable with such as having a folder with naked pics of his ex on his computer. But I do love him and he makes me happy. Stay or go?

We have been together for almost 1.5 year. My past boyfriends were very open to me. "Open" here means that we know each other's family and friends. We visit each other's houses. We shared stories about school, basically I feel free to talk about anything. My current boyfriend has different personality. Unlike my ex boyfriends, he likes to stay in the shade. He dislikes sharing anything about his life or his friends or where he comes from. He doesn't let me go to his house or go near to his family (but he told me where he lives). There is one occasion where he ran away when he accidentally ran to me at the mall (we didn't plan to meet there) because his mom and his sister were with him and he didn't want them to see me. I know, he is being ridiculous. Lately, I think I have been getting enough of his "weirdo" personality. I am not comfortable if I feel I know nothing about this person, like where he comes from and what made him today. Since, I can't get anything from him, even the simplest and the most casual thing like friends in college or even looking at his high school yearbook, I decided to search more about him. I am at the point where I am obsessed. I started to do things that I never did before in my life. One example is I stole his old phone and tried to find the names of his college friends. I know this is scary but I can't help it. Men and women of reddit, any idea to help me get out of this craziness?

My boyfriend is a very private person who doesn't like to share anything other than the present with me. I am getting frustrated and obsessed at the same time in finding more about him on my own. I need resolution.

I've been dating this girl officially for three months, though we've been hanging out for longer and known each other for three years. We have taken things more slowly than I ever have with anyone else (which is fine with me, not complaining) with only having attempted sex this past weekend. I couldn't maintain an erection and it was a little embarrassing, but I had some drinks earlier and alcohol has impacted me before so I didn't feel bad/emasculated about it. We tried again the next night (Sunday) and it was even worse. Forget about maintaining an erection, all I could muster was a pathetic quarter chub. This time it devastated me and actually threw me into a depression the next day. I was filled with insecurity, felt worthless as a man and began to fear she would leave me etc. I'm feeling better now but I could barely look her in the eye the next day. I just kept thinking what good am I if I can't fuck her like she wants me to? Up until this weekend, I would always get full, strong erections whenever we kissed and fooled around, but when it came time to perform my penis shriveled up and died. It has only been a few days so I may be panicking too soon, but I am worried because since that night I've not been able to achieve a strong erection. I've stopped masturbating and watching porn, thinking maybe I've just overdone it, so I haven't tried too hard to get hard. I've tried just thinking about having sex with her and not been able to get an erection. I've also tried fantasizing about other people (just in case I'm lying to myself about being attracted? Don't think that's the case) and still no dice. Information that may or may not be relevant - It has been two years since I've had sex, and even longer since I've been this emotionally connected with someone. 4 years ago my fiancee dropped me and I was left feeling depressed and worthless. I dated around for a bit, being selfish and treating girls unfairly until I didn't like who I was becoming, so two years ago I quit dating altogether. I'm at a point now where I feel I'm ready to commit to someone emotionally, but now I'm afraid I'll be unable to be there physically. Health info - I don't smoke, I'm not an alcoholic, don't do drugs, not overweight, workout at least three times a week. Has anyone here dealt with something like this and been able to work through it without having to take viagra every time they want to have sex?

Falling for someone after a long time of celibacy, now I seem to have performance anxiety and can't achieve/maintain erection. Not sure what I should try?

Hello all, I've been a bad girl and have not really thought about my money before. I've always lived from paycheck to paycheck and never thought about what to do in the future, because there is really nothing left over. To give you some background, yes, I have a college degree. I make under $30000 and am a perpetual renter. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle. My only debt is college and my car, combined less than $7000. I don't go on shopping sprees. I don't buy expensive things. I always shop sales in the grocery store. However, I'm STILL living paycheck to paycheck and its driving me insane! My bf recently moved in, so for the first time in my adult life I have a roommate to share all the expenses. I want to build up some savings so I can buy a house or have some sort of future plans for my money. How do I even get started with all this? I'm so clueless. I did make a very detailed budget for the next 6 months, so I know exactly where our money should be going and what is left after bills. I included putting $100 each into our shared savings account every paycheck. (we also have our own accounts.)

I'm poor and don't always want to be. Help me figure out what to do with what little money I have left after my bills each month.

At the very worst Beauty and The Beast could be shown as Stockholm Syndrome. But it's not even really that, Belle fell in love with the real man behind the mask. The Beast wasn't an asshole at heart, most people would not take in someone who is living in rags, for fear of being stolen from. Couchsurfing.org does not make up the majority of the population. The Beast did not kidnap her father, he held him for trespassing and Belle being a noble person took his place in a standard hostage exchange. Now the Beast has lived as a very upset and ostracized non prince for a long long time, so he could not be expected to treat people any way other than how he was treated. Belle is simply his prisoner and he should have expectations of her being his company when he likes. Consider it having dinner with the warden. Belle was having none of this, she was not about to appease a man keeping her from her sick father. In Belle's eyes he was the Beast everyone said he was. So we have the Ms. Tea Pot telling Belle how he used to be different and was a nice man and then we have the Beast actually changing to act as the noble Prince he is supposed to and used to be. Because he realized that he missed the interactions and relationships of being human. So he started courting Belle instead of telling her what to do. Yes there are underlying tones to all movies/stories that can be portrayed as evil, but Beauty and The Beast is a decent story of how pursuing love can change someone. And on your note about people like that don't change. People change every day for things they truly want. I would never be one to tell a person to stay in a unhealthy relationship, but people do change.

You watched it wrong. On to your pretty note, you can tell your daughter she is pretty when she dresses up and when she does something smart tell her, great job. Women like being told they are pretty. It hits them right in the feelings.

I don't cry at things. No matter how depressed, lonely, upset, pissed, hurt I get, I can't FUCKING CRY. It makes me sad that I can't cry over how sad I am that I can't cry... Same with happiness. I rarely exhibit any emotion, actually. Except when speaking to another human being through the internet.

I don't show emotion in PHYSICAL social situations for some odd reason. I'm sad because I can't show how sad I am about being unable to show how sad I am...

Okay I got two of them. It was freshman year in college and I was at this really small party with some guys I didn't know. It was literally just some peeps crammed in a small dorm room playing beer pong, quiet music playing, good girl to guy ratio. We were talking a little loud but it was thanksgiving break so I didn't think anyone would mind. We hear a knock on the door and its the senior girl in the next room wearing these glow-in-the-dark dino pj's, clearly just crawled out of bed. She complains that we're being too loud, she has stuff to do in the morning (apparently.) We apologize, turn down the music, and talk more quietly. As it turns out, when she said we were being too loud, what she meant was that we needed to disperse. She couldn't rest easy knowing that there were people having fun nearby, like some sort of fucking Grendel. This time she pounded on the door, and in far less polite words demanded that we say our goodbyes and go to bed, as it was far past our bedtimes (it was like 11.) Now, this girl was not hot, I'll freely admit this to you. But as she scanned the room, daring anybody to meet her gaze, I saw something in her eyes that gave me an idea. An idea that would impress my new friends. I held eye contact and a smile crept across my face, and despite herself she smiled back. I walked to the doorway and introduced myself. Hi, what's your name? I invited her in. It didn't take any smooth lines or perfect conversation. I just showed her some attention. I admitted without lying that I thought her dino jammies were awesome, and I asked if they glowed in the dark. She insisted that they do, and I asked if she could show me. Now at this point my friend pulled me aside and said, dude, wtf are you doing? And I was like chill, I got this. He told me I was making a mistake and that he would not show me any sympathy when I regretted my decision later, but my mind was made up. I would take one for the team. Well, long story short, they glowed in the dark, and I may or may not have gotten the toothiest blowjob of my life. The regret was instant, staggering, but the party was saved. I was a hero. She fell asleep in my reluctant arms, and as it turned out she didn't have shit to do until 1 the next day. It was hella hard to get out of that place.

I pulled a Beowulf and slew Grendel. For the other one, I once slept with a girl I didn't like simply because she had a sweet blanket and mine was in the wash.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that you are sincerely asking this and take some time to write a proper answer. As a kid I really didn't feel that this affected me at all, but having later gone to therapy (completely unrelated to this) I think it really did shape a big part of who I became. Now just to give you a feel of the kind of person I am, I started competetively swimming at the age of 7. At the age of 11 I was in a team, training 7 times a week (mondays off, sundays double) and was an early bloomer (puberty early, muscles also grew) So by the age of 13, I had an amazing body (especially for a 13 year old) I had an extremely tight group of friends from swimming and I had my mates from school. In my very tight group of friends I was assigned the role of quiet guy who dosen't talk much but when I do I say something witty or funny. Sadly, this didn't represent the real me (very vocal) and I became extremely unsatisfied with myself. But, in my school, I was the 13-year old with a 6-pack, sick shoulders and as "the guy who lost his virginity at a party" (This was viewed as "cool" by others) I then got a girlfriend (someone who I had genuinely liked, heck, maybe even "loved" for many years). We were together for over a year, during this year, I slowly became the real me. I was vocal, had great fun, didn't shy away from having fun because it wouldn't be viewed as "cool". We didn't have sex. (thank god, she was way too young) I had practise 9 times a week, and didnät have time for her, so she left me. I broke down completely, fell into my previous role harder than ever. Fast forward a few weeks, I win the biggest gold medal of my life (world-wide competition relay 4x100m) I quit swimming after. Another few weeks pass by, I am the guy who was at a party every weekend, with a different girl. Not doing super well in school, not enjoying my life, all this to be "cool". I then met my current GF (over 3 years) and she slowly turned me into myself again. Am now happy again. We almost broke up because she thought she couldn't handle the amount of girls that I had slept with (I was really viewed as a male whore (for obvious reasons) by most of the girls that I didn't really know well)

Made me into a sad boy who fucked whatever moved and was afraid to be himself just to be accepted by his friends. :< Sorry for such a wall of text.

Last night I was drinking and I started smoking marijuana at the same time. I got so cross-faded and the high it gave was terrible. It wasn't the first time I have done this and I've had much better experiences than this one, but I just felt helpless and lost. My heart started pounding, I started panicking and I felt like I was on a roller coaster to hell. Y At one point I felt myself turn into Play-doh, almost as if I was in a robot chicken episode. I don't really remember much after that but I do know that it was terrible. Maybe some laced stuff... Oh well, you live and you learn I guess.

Started drinking. Got high. Craziness in my mind. Edit: I guess I should have asked, "What was a really good or bad high that you've had?"

I totally understand where you're coming from. For a whole year, I was in a non-relationship with a guy. I had been in (unrequited) love with this guy for a while, and he pursued me at this time last year to "hang out", of course he wanted to have sex, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. The short story is that these kinds of men aren't ready for relationships, and no matter how many times they feign interest in dating you, they won't live up to it. This guy even told me he loved me. But in the end, not only did he never live up to it, he was also slightly emotionally abusive. I have since moved on and am now dating an awesome guy who really cares about me.

there is always someone else out there, and unless this guy starts treating you the way you want to be treated, he isn't worth pursuing.

Since a year or two i have invested myself in living in more serious relationships. I am, however, failing and I'd like your advice. I've had two serious relations that were ended by the women (age: 33 & 29) in question, one lasted three months, the other six months. During all stages of the relationships I've been ridden with anxiety that we are not going where I want to or that she will be leaving me any second. My anxiety is triggered by instances like unanswered texts, strange glances, and lots of other stupid minor things. But mainly, lack of emotional response. I tend to need constant confirmation that they like me. In both relationships most of my worries were unfounded. Of course this has led to troubles. They retract from me (or so I experience it) and I get more and more filled with resentment, i.e. less attractive. Until it is ended, by them. Both of these women have referred to this issue post-break up. I also seem to seek out troubled women, or at least prey on the trouble in them. These serious ones both have absent fathers, they have had their share of trouble (depressions) and I cant seem to be a good support for them, even after reading up on how, talking to a shrink about it and thinking about it over and over. Instead of giving support I believe I might cling to their bad fortune as a means to being needed by them. I know this is srsly f-ed up. I'd like to hear from people who have overcome behavior like these how they did it, or hear this from the perspective of women who has been in relations like these. I am a 30 year old male, good looking, highly intelligent, good job. Described by friends as "the most social around", well liked by many, but also controversial with others. I believe most of my other behavior in my relations is genuinely appreciated by the women, at least they told me so. When little I had trouble getting girls, I mainly fantasized about how I would court them, telling my friends, but not going with it. During my teens I became the proper man-whore. I have since slept with a too high for comfort number of women, but also spent years as a non(?)-voluntary monk. I've had relationships before, but none that I took serious. I have no inclinations of continuing neither, I want a committed relationship. I am at loss on how to though.

My fear of being left by women are killing my relationships and causing me to do bad things. How did you stop? How did you experience this behavior?

Triplet here, my brothers and I look nothing alike. If you didn't know our last names you wouldn't think we were related at all. But for some reason one of my teachers in high school couldn't get our names right (it was just 2 of us in the same class). He would call me by my name one day and my brother's the next. One day my brother was sick and asked me to turn in his homework (one of the biggest perks of being a triplet/twin) and I thought I had finished it too. I got to class that day and realized I forgot to do my homework so I just turned in his homework and said it was mine (it had his name on it so I had to turn it in for him) and told him that I was sick so I had an extra day to complete it.

My brother was sick and I forgot to do my homework. I turned in my brother's homework and told the teacher I was sick for an extra day to do it.

It's funny to me that "lack of common interest" is perceived as a deal breaker when it really is just "lack of interest in that person". I say this because I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He is a pretty active guy who has a passion for things like logical reasoning, atheist ideas, hypothetical futuristic discussions, etc etc. I am not an active person. I go to the gym daily but I am by no means an active, out-doors person. I like sitting at home reading a good book. In short, my boyfriend and I didn't come into the relationship sharing common interests. BUT because we were attracted to each other's differences and because we fell in love with each other, we fell in love with our difference as well. I'm not interested in atheist ideas (I am agnostic and I feel atheism is a bit extreme), but I am interested in hearing what my boyfriend has to say about it. In this case, the person whom I love makes the topic interesting; not the topic itself. So if you two were good together, then you don't need to be interested in the same things; you just need to be interested in seeing their eyes light up when they talk about their own interests. In short, if you are "bored" and "uninterested" in what she has to say, then you probably shouldn't be with her.

Been in 4 year relationship with a man I share very little common interests with and still not bored because I enjoy watching him get excited about things that I know nothing about. It's not about the person's interests, it's about the person.

I've been seeing this girl for about 7 months and dating for 3. Everything literally was going great. We live about half hour away so we'd sleep at each other's house at least once a week and hang out on weekends. Last week she told me she was falling for me and is afraid of it (her past relationships she has been cheated on). Me being burned in the past makes me never want to cheat on anyone and I told her that I'm not those other people and that it's okay to fall in love again. Fast forward a week later. She calls me up on Saturday and says it isn't working out and that she doesn't see it going anywhere. I was at a total loss. I didn't know what to say so stupidly I just said well thanks for telling me now instead of months down the road. I tried to ask why but she kept saying shes really sorry. Everything was perfect and then bam. I really was caught off guard. Now I am positive that she just is scared to fall in love again and I know we are right for each other. I haven't talked to her since Saturday and I'm gonna ask for her to call me after work. How should I bring it up that I know she's scared but she can trust me? Is that being too forward? I'll also ask if it is something (someone) else or not. I literally don't understand why. Her roommate and I became good friends and I my family loves her. It just seems out of character of her and I'm at a loss. How should I go about this?

Everything has been going great since we have been dating. Told me she was falling for me then a week later ends it. I figured it's because she is scared to fall in love again. How do I go about talking to her sensitively?

To make a very long story short, I live in an apartment and the people across the hall from me frequently fight and yell. Myself and other neighbors have had to call the police many times in the last several months due to their insanity. Unfortunately, the woman who lives there usually lies and says they weren't fighting by the time the police show up. The police stay for a couple minutes and leave with nothing more than a verbal warning. The female that lives in the apartment is the instigator. She's bananas and screams at the top of her lungs when she's angry. It's been so bad, I thought a couple times that she was killing her boyfriend, or he was killing her. Also there are children in the house. I've already put in multiple complaints with the HOA and have started to document their fights by recording them through my front door peephole. Since it's obvious the police are doing nothing and the HOA has yet to take action, what else can I do? I need a creative solution to this problem. I'm a woman who lives alone. I'm not going to confront them because they are obviously not reasonable people. So, reddit, please help me with your best ideas to get these crazy assholes to shut the hell up!

Neighbors are loud assholes. I've done all I can, legally. What else should I do? (Also, before anyone suggests it, I can't move out yet. My lease isn't up until February.)

Xpost from /r/BDSM) My husband and I recently decided to embark in a BDSM relationship of Master/slave. I am the slave (29F), he is the master (32M). I don't know if this is a little out of place in this sub-reddit, but I'm not talking about the intimate aspect, so it's not NSFW in that respect, at least. We did this mainly for two reasons. One, he thought that because I have some mental issues that can really bring my day down to zero in a productivity way, and I enjoy being bossed around, it was a way to keep my mind focused on something else. Second, I find that because of these issues I can get really self-absorbed (in a very bad emotional way) and I want to lower his stress since right now because of my issues I'm without a job and am available all day to do housework. Okay, so those were our reasons, and it's been working fairly well. Now the issues. As my Master, he's smacked me lightly in the face when I forget to call him Master or speak out of turn. All consensual, I assure you, and never hard. However, yesterday we were in husband/wife mode, not Master/slave mode and he went to give me a hug. I flinched. I didn't just flinch a little -- my entire body flinched. It would have been obvious to ANYONE that I thought he was going to hit me. This happened in our house away from any viewers, but my husband is super concerned about this for a couple reasons. The biggest two reasons are of course, how this is effecting me psychologically, and how this would be seen publicly or in a family setting (all our family would justifiably freak). So... I'm not quite sure what I'm asking. Should we just make face slapping a no-go? It doesn't bother me in the slightest when he does it... I like it, so I'd hate to see it go. Is this a sign that my mental state maybe isn't the best for BDSM? Has anyone else had similar issues with a relationship dynamic that is fine out of sight but caused issues in the public world? Other then this, we have an awesome relationship of mutual trust, respect, and love. He's doing this for me to help me keep my focus on some basic needs and I'm doing it for him to keep myself as a partner and not just a mess of a human being crying and freaking out on the couch everyday. It's not perfect by any stretch I've still had many issues with my head, but at least I'm doing some things to keep stress off him and don't have to stress about that. Somewhere in that tangle of information and blabbering there's a really simple issue. Again, I'm sorry if this isn't right place for this -- I posted most of this post over at the BDSM sub too, but it's a combination of basic BDSM and relationship issues combined so... I don't know.

My husband (Master) smacks me gently when I get out of line (I like this), and now I'm flinching like a mad woman (apparently my brain doesn't like this).

I dated a girl for three years until 8 months ago. Things were amazing in this relationship for me (emotionally and sexually). I was a virgin until I met her but when we did I felt like a pornstar (for me this is a positive thing, not sure how you feel about it). I was nervous the first time we did so I never finished, however after that it was very long, very passionate sessions, usually at least 20 minutes, sometimes 30-45. I loved the hell out of this girl and I loved making her feel amazing, too. We broke up 8 months ago. Since then (and after a VERY bad grieving period, worst time I've ever had) I've been with a few women but I can't last a long time anymore. I get in there and it all feels very exciting however I feel like I finish before I can get going. I didn't really feel much emotionally towards these women either and to tell you truth I don't remember one of their names anymore. I mean I felt good physically of course, but I didnt feel connected to them. I didn't feel that amazing feeling in my chest when you are with someone you really like. Then I just finish. It feels like my penis just whimpers out a physical orgasm in a short time (5 minutes?) and I don't know how to get going again. It's starting to feel mundane. I know I shouldn't expect to feel this emotionally connected to someone new, but I'm worried about my performance in bed physically more than my lack of emotion. I know emotional connection will come with the right person but what if that person comes along and I can't give her the good time she deserves? I was very proud of myself before and now I don't feel like I'm as much of a man. Sometimes I feel depressed after sex. I won't feel ready for a serious relationship until I know I'm back at my potential. What should I do? Has anyone had similar experiences?

Used to last a long time in bed with my ex. Ever since she left I don't last as long and feel like less of a man because of it.

So, almost four years ago I met this guy at an internship site I was working at in Florida. It was a month long program, but I was drawn to him from the start. At the time, we were living on the opposite sides of the country so in my head, I put up a sort of wall about starting anything. Also, I hadn't been in a relationship before so I think I was still awkward and nervous about that kind of stuff. Still, the wholetime we were working there, we were always talking, flirting, and pretty much finding any excuse to be together. He was really helpful with the parts of the job I was having trouble with. He did try to tell me he had feelings once, but I pretty much froze up in that moment. Still, we ended up staying in touch over e-mail throughout the following year, pretty much writing each other a long message once a week. They were really in depth and caring messages, but neither of us ever flat out said "should we do something about this? do you have feelings for me?" Then, he started dating someone seriously and the messages stopped. After they broke up, I heard from him--he just wanted to catch up. It really tore me apart when he just randomly stopped talking to me, but if there were feelings there, I guess I understand why he did. But the conversations never took off like they used to and we pretty much stopped talking for about 2 years. Still, I'd think about him and check his facebook and sometimes have dreams about running into him. Here's where my problem comes into play. Last year, I got a job in Portland, ME and the last I heard he was living in Washington State. This September, he wrote to me to say he is going back to school at a university and hour away from here! I was dating my current boyfriend at the time, we've been together for a year now, and I'm really happy with him. We are very loving and committed to each other, and I feel like the excitement I felt when he contacted me was a betrayal. We had a short conversation, just catching up on what the other is up to. It was left at, if you're ever in the area, contact me. But that was the last time we ever spoke. I stopped thinking about it a lot, but lately the thought is still in the back of my mind. First of all, the coincidences here are strange, but mostly is it okay that I have these feelings? Should I try to talk to my boyfriend or the other guy about it? I have been writing it off as me just entertaining the "what-if's" and that I was a different person back then, and he was one of my first "loves". I don't want to jepordize the relationship I'm in now either because it's very strong, but...I don't know. Is this something I should address?

A guy from the past that has been a big "what-if" for me has moved into the area, but I'm in a relationship and I feel guilty that I've been thinking about this person from the past.

Some background: After a few months in the relationship she told me that she was interested in being a cam girl. At first she said that she just wanted to do it for me, later she told me she wanted to do it on a site. Over the course of the next few months she talked about it once or twice and, for some reason, I never took i seriously. Well, maybe a few months later she went on for other guys three times before informing me. After a few weeks It wasn't bothering me much anymore. I wanted her to do what she enjoyed and I wanted to be there to support her. She began getting popular and coming up with creative ways to entertain her customers. With the start of this month she started a kik messenger and talks to one guy as well as snapchat with seven guys. Up until last night I could still be supportive. We have had a communication problem where any issues we talk about escalate into an argument. So after arguing for a while about a lesser issue and (somewhat) resolving it, I told her how I wanted her to stop. This time, and any time we discussed her quitting camming, she told me she would. She told me after she started camming without informing me she realized her attention problem. She said that, in the past, she would seek sexual attention and camming was her latest outburst. After some talking, we agreed she should see a therapist about the issue. I don't know what I should think. I don't know if I need to be worried or how I can help her in this situation. We have a great sex life and I don't feel like I should need to be worried. But I know I need to be supportive of her getting help and I can't help but feel paranoid now... Sorry for so much text, typing it out has been helping me realize and think more about the situation.

Girlfriend became a cam girl without informing me for a week or so, after a while it became too much for me to handle and she is stopping. Informed me of struggle with sexual attention needs. Now I'm paranoid and having trust issues.

A lot of it also has to do with the trend of going to Naturopathic doctors. One of the first things they do is give you an allergy blood test, which almost always comes back with the SHOCKING!!!! news that you're allergic to almost everything you eat, most of all, gluten. However, there have been tons of studies that show that these blood tests, which test for the IgG Immunoglobin (rather than the traditional IgE Immunoglobin), are actually signifying previous exposure to these supposed allergens, rather than an actual allergic reaction. Gluten is in almost everything you eat, assume you have a normal, non-exclusionary diet. Therefore, almost all Naturopaths will call you back saying "Your IgG blood test shows an immune response to gluten (and practically everything else), suggesting an intolerence. Stop eating that, and come on in so I can give you some supplements and dietary suggestions instead". Here's a scientific article on it: And one from the newspaper, in more layman's terms:

Don't go to a Naturopath unless you want to be erroneously diagnosed as having an allergy/intolerance to EVERYTHING you've come in contact with. Tell your friends who have a "Gluten Allergy" diagnosed by a naturopath that they're morons.

I know that most people would be like, take it! It's free! But I can't. And here's why. For as long as I've known my brother Anthony he's been troubled. Like, doing drugs and committing crimes. He recently got back in touch with my family and I and he claims he's sober and living life above board. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and he does seems different. So he saw the car I've been driving that I received as a graduation present from my grandfather. It's an older car but it runs really well. It just looks like a POS which I've never minded because it was free and my grandpa fixed it up just for me! He's insisting on giving me this car he got from his "home girl" because he can't drive (suspended license). I tried to tell him it was too big a gift and that I already have a car. He's insisting that I take it since he hasn't been around and needs to make up for lost time. No amount of my reassuring him that his presence is enough will work. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to upset and alienate him when he's just recently come back into my life. But I can't accept this car because, it being a large gift aside, I feel like there may be hidden strings attached. I don't want to give him my current car because my grandfather gave it to me. I love that car. It's lasted me this long and it has many years left in it. If I take the car from Anthony he may later on demand my other car or demand I give him rides to these shady places I've already been duped into taking him. Or to let him borrow money or whatever else. I honestly don't know him well enough anymore to know what could possibly happen. So far I've been avoiding it by saying I don't have the title transfer money and that we'll have to do it on a payday but it's getting to the point where there will be a confrontation soon. My little sister [21] Emelia is all gung-ho about it and he was originally going to give her the car but she went out of the country and won't be back for another month on charity work. I wish she was here so I could just avoid it altogether but I can't.

my brother is trying to give me a car but because of his past history I feel like there are hidden strings attached and I don't know how to gently decline the gift without alienating him.

my boyfriend is extremely introverted. Lately we are in a routine that is lacking. We spend almost all our time together which is great for me but seems to ware on him since he is used to being alone. After we both get home from work Ill go to his place usually (or he will come to mine) and we will make dinner, watch tv, read, basically do boring couples things... Lately sex is kind of blah. He has gotten lazy and no longer feels a need to woo me. I think (and he later confirmed) we spend too much time together. He needs a night or two off. Which is fine, but i dont know how to do that and move forward with our relationship at the same time. Introverts: I need you to tell me How would we be able to live together if he needs a night a week away from me? How do I go about this? I want to keep my partner happy, I want to make this work. As an extremely extroverted person, I need help finding a good way to go balance this. I also want to know how introverts would want this situation handled.

boyfriend and I of opposite personalities have reached a rut caused by routine and over exposure to one another. From the mind of an introvert, how do I balance this better AND move forward with the relationship.

I literally just went through this and all I gotta say is end it now. Got a dog with s/o that I've been with for 5 years early october. Mid october she received text from guy at 1am while we watch movie and I see dudes name pop up, think nothing of it. Next two nights same deal, suspicions arise. Ask her who it is and she says dude is asking her to cover shifts, but why so late s/o? Over the next four months they have been together behind my back and she gives excuse after excuse. Dog can't stay at her house b/c landlord issues so I end up taking care of him day and night whilst in school full time and sacrificed having a job to take care of him (aggresive untrained pit so 4 hours of walking each day to get energy out, cant stay at s/o work bc started fights, spend another 2-3 hours a day training him). Barely see her bc she's spending time with dude but plays it off as [input excuse]. Skip to december and dude sends me message on fb saying "thanks for taking care of dog. Me and s/o appreciate it very much blah blah blah". Dude doesn't know i'm ex-boyfriend. Been telling dude dog was theirs from early october. S/o gives me Game of Thrones teir long excuse that should honestly be a world record.

Sometimes sitting down and talking things out doesn't always work if you have suspicions. S/o of 5 years and i get dog and tells other dude its theirs whilst seeing him behind my back for 4 months. Should have read messages.

I had a recurring dream where I need to take a leak but any toilet I find is non-functional, so I can't. I'll run around looking for somewhere to go but I can't find anywhere. When I wake up from this dream I'm always about ready to burst my bladder so I have to run to the bathroom and piss like a racehorse. It occurred to me the last time this happened that many people wet the bed when they dream of taking a piss, relax themselves then piss in real life. I figured out that my dreams of not being able to find a working toilet means that I never try to piss in the dream, therefore I don't piss the bed in real life. Like some kind of defense mechanism or something.

When I'm asleep but need to piss I always dream of broken toilets so I don't try to piss in my dream - my brain's ways of stopping me pissing the bed.

I have a male kitten named Riley, he's around four months old and getting close to the time where he needs to be fixed. He kneads and scratches furniture a lot (even though a well used scratching post is sitting right there) we have a brand new couch coming soon and I have 2 nieces (5, 6) who like to play with Riley and of course they get scratched. So in the end we decided to get him declawed as well as fixed. But my bf and I are worried that this might change his personality. Riley is a wonderful kitten, everything I've ever dreamed of in a cat. He's energetic, playful, very cuddly, LOVES attention but at the same time very independent. He can always make me laugh or put a smile on my face. We don't want him to change. Im aware that every cat is different but is there any cat owners who went through the whole fix/ declaw process and did NOT see a change? And if you did, how much of a change? Also, what can I do to make him as comfortable as possible, and keep him from playing and irritating his paws post-surgery?

Will declawing our kitten change his personality? What can we do to make him comfortable post-surgery? NOTE: we have made up our mind on getting him declawed please be respectful towards that, no reasoning, begging, or even insults will change our mind.

Does anyone have advice for really getting over an break up from a long time ago? Background: In 2008, after my former fiancé called off our wedding (May 2008), I started dating new people around October. I was with my ex-fiancé at the time for 8 years (since HS). When I started dating people, I met someone who I REALLY enjoyed spending time with but wasn't ready to make a new commitment but "dated her for a few months (Lets call this person Jessica). I stopped hanging out with Jessica after I met the next person who caught my interest (bad idea but felt right at the time since I wanted to see what was out there). Fast forward and we used to keep in touch and hang out from time to time up until about 2 years ago. Getting back together never worked because we were in relationships, one of us didn't want a relationship, etc ..basically the timing never worked. A couple of years ago I met someone and now I am engaged and love her a lot. There's nothing I would do jeopardize my relationship now. However, I do find myself checking out Jessica's Instagram. We had a lot of things in common (got along really well, outdoorsy activities like hiking or skiing, watching certain sports teams, similar values) and any time I see a related post I cringe a little. That feeling lingers in me feeling a bit down. I know the next question will be what about the person I am with now. I love her and we really get along. I guess the thing that's different (not bad, just different) is that we don't share all of the same interest like I did with Jessica. We share enough and do things together but aren't into exactly the same stuff.

Met a girl after long term relationship. Wasn't ready at the time. Fast forward 8 years, still check out her IG from time to time. Am now engaged and still regret the breakup a bit.

I feel like its a personal preference. My fh and I are both into photography so we know our taste...we know we want someone who shoots well in all types of light, and who is good with the candids and etc. All I have is my personal experience, but look at all the galleries, and if you think you like for someone, ask them for more... Its also about personalities... Ask a couple of your favorites if you could schedule a meeting so you can both get a feel for each other. And, ask them why they are so much more or less than the competition. They might have good answers that help some of this make sense. Also, what do the packages Include? Videos, prints, albums, etc...?

Look at 1 vs 2 photographers etc, if you like the cheaper pics, why pay more? - meet with whoever you can! Personality says and means so much!!

This story happened about 5 years ago, when I wand a senior in high school. A little background on the story, my buddies and I used to hang out at my house almost everyday after school and this incident happened on a Friday. I was with 5 of my best buds and we're playing video games. It's getting late and my best friend, Erik, had to go home. We all have him shit about not staying and that he should ask his mom to stay and yadda yadda. So he eventually caves in and calls his mom. I'm laying on the couch playing Borderlands with my friend Ely and the other 3 and Erik are standing behind the couch. I hear Erik talking on the phone but think nothing of it, too focused on killing shit. So a few minutes go by and I hear Erik say, "my mom says I can't stay unless I'm home by 8 in the morning." He's still standing behind the couch so I loudly yell, "That's stupid, of course I'll have you home by then, but what's she gonna do? Go back in time and say you can't stay?" At that point everything went quiet. Ely paused the game which caused me to look at him. He had that shocked expression on his and was just staring at me, so confused, I sit up and look behind the couch. My 3 other friends and Erik were standing there just staring at me. At this point I noticed Erik was still on the phone. My eyes got really wide. Erik into a back room and I could hear him trying to apologize to his mom. Everyone else just started laughing me. In my defense, I didn't hear Erin talking on the phone and I honestly thought he had ended the phone. I have known this kid and his parents since 2nd grade and I felt so bad. But to end the story, he did end up staying and when I took him home the next day, I gave his mom a huge apology and hug. All was good.

Friend asked mom to stay the night, thought he was off the phone and I blatantly insulted his mom while he was still on the phone.

Last night I went to get some pizza with a buddy and I ended up hitting it off with a girl who was working there. She was really great, and we spent about half an hour just talking. We were both really flirty with each other. I have plenty of experience with women, so this isn't one of those deals where a guy misinterprets "nice" as "flirty." We were both pretty clear about our attraction to each other. About halfway through the conversation I offered to give her my number. She said she'd love that, pulled out her phone and texted me then and there. Again, it was very clear that this was not a "just being friendly" deal, but that there was genuine interest on both sides. Eventually I ended up leaving. I texted her when I got home, joking that I had never gotten the cup of water that I wanted (my original pretext for going to speak with her at the counter). She never replied, but I didn't think anything of it. Earlier today I called her to see what her plans for the weekend were, but there was no response. No text or call back. I know that it is her number since she texted me then and there, and there is no reason to think she would've given me her number unless she was interested too. If she wasn't interested she would've just taken my number and never given me hers. I am genuinely interested and I am certain she was too, but I don't want to be weird or creepy. Obviously blowing up her phone or going to the pizza place again would be beyond creepy. Maybe I'm just getting overly excited over nothing, but I felt a chemistry with her that I haven't felt in a long time. And beyond the mere chemistry, I'd like to just be told upfront if someone isn't interested rather than be left hanging. So Reddit, how should I procede?

Met a girl, genuine attraction to each other, exchanged numbers, texted each other on the spot, but haven't gotten a response since meeting last night (3/24). How to proceed without being weird or creepy?

This is a throwaway, 'cause he loves his reddit. Some background: I'm a 21/f and have been with my 23/m for about two years. The relationship has been so great. We're very much in love, and since we've both been through terrible relationships in the past, we've both learned how to communicate well with each other. I'm more extroverted and he is more introverted, so obviously, we disagree on stuff. But most of it seems very normal to me. The only thing is that my boyfriend has a temper when it comes to certain things. He'll also get violent sometimes, and punch stuff, like the wall or the bed or pillows or whatever. He'll slam things around. It seems random to me. I can't really tell when it's gonna happen. Usually, it feels to me like it's something I said, even though he reassures me (after the incident) that it's not. For example, we were recently on a weekend trip with a group of friends. I had given him some poor advice about what to bring to a business casual event, and he hadn't brought the right clothes (honestly, he did look kinda weird). He was visibly upset, and I tried to reassure him that it wasn't important, that no one would care. But for some reason, his temper escalated, until he refused to go out. I tried to cheer him up and get him psyched, but he kept getting angrier, until he started punching some pillows on the bed. I was shaken by the violence, and I went and hid in another room. When he calmed down, he came in and apologized. These episodes happen maybe once a month or so, and with various random triggers. I think it's important to mention that I don't rationally feel he would turn the violence on to me. I honestly don't think he would ever hurt me. There was one instance where he got angry, and for a split second, I thought he was going to hit me. But the minute he saw my face, he stopped and apologize profusely. Intuitively, though, I get very scared when he goes on a rage like that. Even though my brain says he wouldn't hurt me, I'm just shocked and nervous to be around him when he's in that state. I've tried to talk to him about it, but always casually and jokingly. He's kind of acknowledged his temper in passing, and always apologizes after, but the episodes keep happening. I'm afraid to bring it up, because I don't want to be the controlling girlfriend who keeps her man from letting out his feelings when he needs to. Should I confront him about his temper? If so, what's the best way to do it? Or am I just being stupid about being scared/nervous? Maybe this is how lots of people deal with their anger, and it's a normal thing?

My boyfriend has a temper triggered by random things. He punches stuff, but I don't think he'd be violent to me. It scares me regardless. Should I confront him? If so, how?

Here's my problem, I have had a little crush on my instructor for a while. So far I've taken two courses from him and he is just an all around good guy and I enjoy talking to him. He has the qualities I look for in a person. He is attractive, funny, and passionate about what he does. A few times I have tried to pep talk myself into giving him hints that I like him or to see whether or not he is single, of course I'd always chicken out. The last time I saw him was on the last day of class and I kicked myself for not doing anything. Fast forward six months and I thought about him after a shitty relationship ended. I thought about how I would hate to have years pass by and have regrets for not doing anything. I said screw it! I'm going to try and put my heart out there and just email him! . It ended up being good for the most part, he said it was great to hear from me and that he would love to have me in class again. I replied back by giving him my number to keep me updated and then I suggested we play a round of golf (he taught golf) before I leave the country this summer... The response was positive, he said that it sounds like fun and gave me his number (!!!). I have already texted him to let me know when he is free and he said absolutely!! And when he makes the free time that we should grab coffee or something :) now the waiting ensues. It's been almost two weeks since we texted. I like this guy a lot, I don't know what to do from this point. I don't want to obnoxiously text him all the time. He is a busy guy, I've only texted him a couple of times, but the ball isn't rolling anywhere. I want to pursue something and realized getting his number was only the first step (which took a lot of courage!). But what do I do next? I also leave the country in a month to go backpacking in Europe for two months . So is it silly to even try? I am afraid to put my heart out there but I think this guy is worth it. Also, I am pretty shy!

I am attracted to my college instructor, scored his number with plans to hang out, I'm tired of waiting and don't know what to do from here. Edit: format

Not my current job but once upon a time I worked freelance for a bunch of film projects. I felt like I wasn't great at the job, and on a particularly low day, one of my colleagues shared her own fuck up story with me: So there was this shoot in South Africa, cast and crew of about 80-100 people travelling between locations. Travel expenses are racking up so the office just decides to charter a jet to take the whole crew from one location to the next. My colleague, who was in charge of travel coordination at the time, books the jet, sets everything up, scans the passports or does the paper work or whatever. Around 90 crew members climb aboard a chartered plane... and arrive in the wrong city.

No matter how much I fucked up after that, in that job or others, I know I'm not the girl who flew everyone to the wrong city.

I think it personally depends on the child. I would always give it a try. If you see that they can't keep up with the accelerated pace or are uninterested in the class work, then let them make the decision to continue or quit. If you pressure them harshly they may end up with severe anxiety or just general low confidence. I was in GT classes all throughout elementary school & it didn't change anything for me an incredible amount. I do remember that the other kids would call us 'giant turds' on the playground. We were part of something good & we were being ostracized for it. Note: I personally think high school was the most beneficial for me as far as AP and honors classes. Even if you don't send your child into GT classes there is time throughout the rest of their schooling. Also the main point I want to make with my rambling is that the more you stimulate their minds outside the classroom the more beneficial. Don't just focus on the fact that they're 'gifted & talented'. Encourage them to learn everyday & to become comfortable with it to keep them motivated because it's easy to get burnt out at a young age. Especially whenever all you want to do is run around like a chicken with all your pent up ten year old energy. I became very distracted because I was bored and also because I was made fun of for being a giant turd. It's comical now, but I think it really did hinder my learning efforts. I've always been mocked & laughed at for being 'intelligent' or whatever. WHY IS THAT A BAD THING TO BE?

Just pay attention to your kid & what's best for them. Don't let some little bitchacho of a brat put them down for being smart. :) The formatting and errors are probably plentiful because it's late and I'm tired.

I just posted this in /r/sex but I'm hoping you guys might be able to help too: So two things I should explain about myself first: I'm very easy when I'm single and I haven't had sex in a month or so. I can't seem to stop myself from developing feelings for the people I fuck. So that's how I find myself (f, 26) in a 4 year relationship with someone who I thought was going to be a fuckbuddy(M, 29). Mostly it has worked out. In a lot of ways we are compatible, we get along well for the most part; we make each other laugh and living with him is pretty easy. But sex, which is ironically what got us together, has never been easy between us. First of all he is bi and I'm his first female partner, which combined with my love of being the giving partner was kind of a recipe for disaster. I spoiled him and it was a while before I realized he wasn't learning to reciprocate on his own. So obviously I'm not going to hold that against him, it is my fault that he hadn't really learned how to do it for me. So then I tried to teach him, he will always try for a while but no matter how much feedback I give him he always goes back to his original way of thinking: in his head foreplay=mauling me and giving me pleasure = mashing my clit with all the situational awareness of a rock. He won't flirt with me, he won't talk dirty with me and all of his kinks don't really do anything for me as they are so specific. He's also quite a large size in the downstairs department so if I'm not wet(and even sometimes when I am) it can get quite uncomfortable, especially if we are going at it for long periods of time. Honestly, all of this has added up to me having an aversion to sex with him. Obviously its not always awful but I don't feel like it has ever been good and sometimes we only have sex like once every ten days because I feel like I'm an horrible person if I don't. I need to point out, that it isn't that I don't want sex, my libido is still as high as ever, I just don't want to have sex with him. I don't know what else to tell you apart from that I've been unhappy for a long time, but I care about him and he really loves me and in a lot of other ways we are happy together. I've been brushing over my feelings for years, everything I have tried has failed and I know it would break his heart if we broke up. I don't even know what I'm posting this for, whether I want someone to talk me down off the cliff or egg me on but I just know something drastic needs to change.

I'm not sexually attracted to my partner anymore, and I'm pretty sure I caused it. Edit: I'm going to bed(I'm in Australia). Will be back tomorrow. Hopefully sleeping on it will help.

I'm not very good at expressing myself, so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. So in the last few months I left my home country to study in Germany so my girfriend and I have to do the whole long distance thing, it's not great, but I think it's working ok. She has pretty bad social anxiety/depression and so relies a lot on her friends and me to listen to her problems. Lately her friends have kind of stopped offering her a lot of sympathy because she vents so much to them and I reckon they just need a break. Anyway because of this, all of her venting is landing on me, and she's depending on me a lot to listen to her. I don't mind trying to help her because I love her, but sometimes when she vents, her feelings are projected onto me (unintentionally) and it brings me down too. After a while I just need a break from the crying and the problems, and I just slow down a bit with the replies to her messages. This doesn't really go down well with her and she just views it as me ignoring her and not giving a crap about her problems because she's pretty paranoid about the whole thing. At some points in the day too I'm just unable to reply because I'm busy with school/chores/cooking/being with other people, and again she'll think I'm ignoring her. Last night I was watching the new avengers in the cinema and had my phone off and she was upset that I didn't reply to her message for like two or three hours. Now the crux of this problem lies here; This morning (like 2AM) I got a message saying from her saying that she wants me to tell her if I'm going to be busy for a while and won't be able to talk. It's not an unreasonable thing to ask for if we were already having a conversation about something, but she wants me to let her know even if we weren't talking in the first place. This kind of constant communication really puts a strain of the relationship for me. It's like we're never apart, and altough I love her, I sometimes just need some space to be away from her because her emotions can be a bit overbearing for me, ya know? She knows this is a bit crazy and wants me to work with her on it and wants us to communicate, but I don't know what to say to her without seeming like a total jerk. Wat do?

Girlfriend wants constant communication; I don't but don't want to seem like a jerk. EDIT: Forgot to mention that she visited a while back and it was awesome when we were together, it's just the texting driving me nuts

IANAL(yet) but here is the text of the Code of Virginia re: open container laws: § 18.2-323.1. Drinking while operating a motor vehicle; possession of open container while operating a motor vehicle and presumption; penalty. A. It shall be unlawful for any person to consume an alcoholic beverage while driving a motor vehicle upon a public highway of this Commonwealth. B. A rebuttable presumption that the driver has consumed an alcoholic beverage in violation of this section shall be created if (i) an open container is located within the passenger area of the motor vehicle, (ii) the alcoholic beverage in the open container has been at least partially removed and (iii) the appearance, conduct, odor of alcohol, speech or other physical characteristic of the driver of the motor vehicle may be reasonably associated with the consumption of an alcoholic beverage. For the purposes of this section: "Open container" means any vessel containing an alcoholic beverage, except the originally sealed manufacturer's container. "Passenger area" means the area designed to seat the driver of any motor vehicle, any area within the reach of the driver, including an unlocked glove compartment, and the area designed to seat passengers. This term shall not include the trunk of any passenger vehicle, the area behind the last upright seat of a passenger van, station wagon, hatchback, sport utility vehicle or any similar vehicle, the living quarters of a motor home, or the passenger area of a motor vehicle designed, maintained or used primarily for the transportation of persons for compensation, including a bus, taxi, or limousine, while engaged in the transportation of such persons. C. A violation of this section is punishable as a Class 4 misdemeanor. What this reads, to me, is that, obviously, you can't drink alcohol while driving. If there is an open container in your car, and you appear to have been drinking, then then the burden falls on you to prove otherwise. HOWEVER....this only is if the open container is located within a "passenger area" of the car......So if it's in your trunk you are fine. Alternatively....don't appear intoxicated. But the second option is riskier to me as it appears more subjective.

Keep it in your trunk/behind the last seat that a passenger can sit in if you don't have a completely sealed off trunk and you're fine.

My girlfriend works at a fast-food restaurant. Me (23) and her (21) have been going out for 10 months now, and she will be graduating from college in December. Last night, we got into a huge argument over the phone (we're long distance at the moment) because she drove a male coworker home and he asked her to fool around with him. At first I was obviously upset with him, but I trust her to make good decisions. What I don't trust, however, is this male coworker of hers. He's 19, doesn't go to college, and lives in a shady part of town. Her coworkers are all Hispanic, and she can't speak Spanish. They all constantly hit on her with broken English, and I've been okay with it until this incident. Anyway, the fight started with being upset with her coworkers, and escalated to me telling her that she is working there because it's a college job just to have on the side and she shouldn't waste her time there when she is super bright & friendly and has the opportunity to do so much with her life. Now, she feels like I undermine her job. Well yeah, I do. She turned down working at a prestigious hotel chain as an intern to work at a fast food restaurant. I was fine with that as she's still in college and she needs to concentrate more on studying and extracurricular activities. But now she wants to work at this fast food chain and move up in the company to make good money. She'll probably be making more than me if she sticks with this company, but that's not the point. She's extremely young and bright, like I said, and she can be putting her time and talents into things more meaningful and educational - specifically in other restaurants that actually serve good food and have at least table setting service. She got offended and attempted to defend her company, but everything she said seemed ridiculous. "We make good food and we work really hard!" No, you serve crap food to either lazy people or poor people (I then brought up working at a homeless shelter as I'd be more proud of her making a difference in people's lives). You might work really hard, but why are you working so hard for a company that serves crap food to the masses with a shitty charity group that gives kids free meals that are terrible as well? There's more, but I won't bore you with it. Essentially, I expect my girlfriend to set boundaries with her coworkers, graduate from college and move on to bigger better things after she graduates. I know I'm a fucking asshole and a jerk, but I know I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is going to work at a fast food establishment her whole life. We ended up just agreeing to disagree for the moment, but it will come up again. As a vague question to reddit, what do you think of my situation?

GF wants to continue working at a fast food restaurant after college and base her career off of working for the company. I do not approve.

So I'm 27 and have health problems with my vision. I'm pretty much blind in my right eye (central vision gone due to a blood leak that led to scar tissue) and my left eye is missing about 20% of the vision. It will continue to get worse until (hopefully) stem cells are perfected to fix eye issues. I would consider myself a decent looking guy, so I'll get Tinder matches and OKCupid matches. However, I have yet to tell any girl about my vision issues. I guess I'm scared it'll turn them off. I also don't want to tell them too soon. I've only been in one relationship since my vision issues started. It didn't work out because I pushed her away as I was unable to cope with the disability at the time. But I've been on many first dates and even 2-5 dates that just didn't work out in the end. I almost told the girl I went on five dates with but decided not to. I'm at a better place now than I was in my last relatiosnhip. I just don't know when I should bring this up to a girl? Obviously not the first date, but I want to let her know before we would make it official and I'd like to tell her before I start to like her a lot, only to have her reject me for it. Can I get your guys/girls opinion? Thanks!

Vision issues which will continue to get worse, not sure how (if I even should), or when, I should bring it up to new girls I meet

The biggest issue my girlfriend [20] has with our relationship is that she doesn't feel much of an emotional attachment. She describes it as an empty feeling, which is what i should be filling in as a boyfriend. (dating for 2-3 months). I'm 21, she's 20 She wants to get to know me, but I don't know how i can let her in. I tried talking to her a lot about my biggest personal problem (anxiety disorder, how this has affected a large part of me) but it usually ends of going no where because of two reasons: there isn't much to say, i talk about my weird habits and that's kinda it, and because i talk like a fucking idiot sometimes and cannot correctly conceptualize my thoughts and feelings into words. She's tired of not getting anything out of this relationship and i'm tired of not being able to communicate properly. She's the one person i feel comfortable talking to about certain things, but whenever we try to talk we usually end of arguing over little stupid shit.

How can i learn to communicate properly with my girlfriend, and how can i help her feel emotionally invested? Edit: starting next week i am going to therapy, i think sorting out my head will help our relationship

So I've been seeing this girl for about 4 months, and it's been pretty not serious, although we had the exclusive talk and we decided that's what we both wanted. She's super introverted, and doesn't really initiate contact which has put me in a weird place because I can't do 100% of the work, but when we are together we have great chemistry and really enjoy each other. Anyway, I saw her yesterday and she tells me her ex, who she dated for 5 years in highschool/beginning of college is staying at her place one night this weekend. Said she doesn't plan on hooking up with him, but didn't promise anything. I calmly told her that I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I really like being with her, and that I got the sense she wasn't really into moving our relationship forward. Truthfully, I'd like to have something stable but I wasn't very upfront with her about that, although I did mention it. I've been kind of doubting what she wants out of this situation, and I'm pretty sure this is the straw that will break the camel's back. Too much BS to be putting up with for essentially a FWB situation, and quite frankly the sex is not that good... Can anyone provide a viewpoint that shows maybe she is scared to commit or something? I'm out of ideas...

Been seeing this girl for 4 months, she doesn't seem that into it, hits me with the fact that her ex is staying at her place this weekend

Long-time Lurker. First-time poster. I have been thinking for so long about Life lately and how amazing and bizarre and wonderfully weird it is. I love everything about it so damn much. Have you ever been in one of those moods where everything just seems to flow and you know, you just KNOW that things will be fine? As if Life is this collective moving force pushing you through space and time. That everything is working out and going to be great, simply because you think it will be. There is something so incredible about it all that has a smirk always trying to inch into a smile on my face lately. I see everyday objects and events and PEOPLE oh gosh I am simply blown away and in awe at how complex they all are. I love people. So much so do I love people. Everyone has their own theories but i believe innately, deep down, people are good. We as a species are so incredibly complex and layered on top of foundations built seeking specific desires with different means to the goals. So some people are just lost on their own path to their goal and take it out on others. Anytime anyone is bringing down someone else on purpose, they are really satisfied with it, they are just compensating for their own personal misgivings in life. There is simply the misunderstanding of how different everything and everyone is. The subjectivity which we behold is mind-blowing. Everyone is both similar and different at the same time, and what makes us all so beautiful is what we usually end up fighting over. I've fostered a love of learning about people and what makes them all so different and how they interact, relate, and experience this wild ride. There is simply so much to take in and the amount of new information growing and needed to process is exponential. There is so much beauty in the world, so much being created, so much to love. I'm somewhat inebriated and have been thinking about all of this for some time now. So this is probably a different kind of offmychest than normal. I'll probably come back later to re-edit and organize my thoughts into something more coherent haha.

Life is amazing and so are people. We should all love each other and make everyones days better. The little things make a big difference.

M21] met [F18] in class and we dated for four-ish months before she broke up with me in January because of her declining grades and her depression. We tried to be friends but I was still head over heels for her so I reverted to NC. Two weeks ago after she called me telling me she still loved me, we got back together and things were back to before. This past weekend we had a discussion, her depression has been really bad lately, and she told me how she needs to figure herself out right now/get her grades up. She doesn't want to hurt me while she's in this state and she has been stressing me out with her indecisiveness, so I said we should stop dating. [F18] agreed and said she doesn't want a relationship right now, she needs her space, but she also doesn't want to lose one of her only friends. I told her how I felt, how I've gotten over her before, and I'm not going to wait for her. [F18] told me how great I am and how she hopes that if I'll forgive her, then when she's gotten better and is ready to date, that I give us a chance. I forgave her, and told her if the time is right, we can date again, but I don't want her to expect me to nor do I want her to feel obligated to date me again. I've accepted being her friend, I'm actually going on a date with someone else this Friday, so I'm not asking how to get over a break up, but how to treat [F18] in this depressed state. I want to help not hurt and make things worse. I don't want to overstep my boundaries and enter relationship mode either. I just want to be a good friend right now, regardless of her depression.

How do I [M21] deal with a depressed ex [F18]? Do you give them space and/or comfort them when they need it? I've never dealt with depression so any insight on her state of mind would be appreciated.

To put some context, I have been seeing this girl for a little over a month now. About 2-2.5 months ago, she ended a relationship with a guy who was somewhat verbally abusive (called her fat, put her down etc). He ended up freaking out when she broke things off by saying he was suicidal/couldn't live with out her, basically making things messy. This was around when we started seeing each other. Now fast forward a month and things have been going relatively good, we hang out every other night at least. Now here comes the part where I somewhat fuck up. When I drink a lot, I get really nice, like overly the top, not emotional (sometimes). When it's around a girl I like, I get intense (in like a lovey-dovey kinda sense). I've gotten this way around her three times, the third being the worst (and most drunk I've ever been in recent memory). I apparently suggested we be exclusive/told her I missed her/wanted to come over, basically being a drunk pathetic asshole. I think this freaked her out being so close to just ending a previous relationship, (I know I'd be freaked out). She said she needed to slow things down, since she was still working on past issues, which I said I was cool with. What I didn't know was how difficult this would be going after we moved so fast so quickly. I have seen her maybe a total of 2 hours over the past 10 days. She has blew me off on three occasions, one of those days even being her birthday. And now when I text her I get the vibe like I'm doing nothing but bothering her. She says she feels like an ass for how this has went down and that she doesn't know how to handle it, says she likes me but it is "unfair to me". She tells me she just feels like being alone, and I want to give her the proper space to deal with things, but having done that to myself when I ended a previous relationship while living alone, it sent me into a mild depressive state I didn't get out of for a while. I don't know what to do really, if things end then oh well, the world keeps turning. But I want to help her cause she is a great person and I got along wonderfully with her, plus I would hate to see someone get as sad as I did when my previous relationship ended. But am I just not picking up her hints of wanting to completely end things?

See girl for a month after she gets out of abusive relationship recently, get too lovey-dovey while drunk, freak her out, now I barely see her/talk to her due to her having "unresolved emotional issues"

It's been a while since I broke up with my ex due to personal issues such as family and relationship-external problems (i.e. medical). It has been 3 months since we have broken up and college is soon to be over. When we spoke about it the break up she told me to wait so that she could sort out her problems first. She is very nice girl, but is not very open and often keeps most her problems to herself. After breaking up she went No contact and I have been thinking about her all the time since then. The problem now is that since 2 days ago (we go the same college + same classes + have same common group) she has been giving me the silent treatment. A month ago when we had a chance to talk and she said she is very depressed and I don't know why because she keeps problems to herself. This time when I saw her I knew something was severely wrong and when I approached her she basically told me that I don't want to talk right now. When her friend (Female) approached her she was fine with it. The other problem now with me is that: I don't know how I should feel - looking at her like this saddens me that I can't help her in any way and do not know what is going on. Common group - Whenever I speak she becomes quiet so I have been silent since when I'm with her with the group. I can cope with it and I don't mind, but I can't have fun with the group She told me to wait without contact - I miss her I do know what to do - I feel useless. I have felt anger - It felt selfish that she shows me this and gives silent treatment. Worst case scenario which I think about is that she is not properly sorting out her problems, in this case her social relationships ("Drama"), and she is not looking out for her own self and letting it get to her. She does get advice from her close friends (apparently just 1-2 people who knows she shares her problems with and I trust them), but I still do not know what is going on. What can I do? What should I do? Guys your opinion on this?

GF and I broke up. Tells me to wait as well as 3 months of No contact. Find her looking severely depressed/distressed. I do not know what to do.

I've been unemployed since July of 2013, after leaving work due to some family issues. Luckily, I've kept my nose to the grindstone and have two job offers at the moment. Here's what I'm working with right now, and what's factoring into my decision: 1st Job: Call center representative for a large company in the US, working as a technical support representative. The base pay I've negotiated is at $24k per year. There's also a good benefits package, which includes a tuition reimbursement (I'm going to be attending online classes during spring of 2014). From what I understand, there's a lot of room for advancement with the company, particularly for those who excel at hitting the goals set by management. 2nd Job: Located in Seattle, WA. Entry level position in a consulting firm, starting pay is $38k. I haven't been given any details about the specifics of benefits, but from what I've looked at (Glassdoor, other employee-based review sites) it's par for similar jobs in the industry. I've been told that I would probably be in this position for roughly 1.5 to 2 years before having a chance to advance within the company. However, being in a larger city presents a possibility of being able to network and be in an area with more job opportunities. I'd be more comfortable taking the first job, since I'd have a lower cost of living (although a lower salary) and would have guaranteed tuition assistance. Additionally, I'll admit that I don't have enough saved up for a move to a larger city right now and I have some credit card debt to pay down.

1.) Take a lower paying job in a city with low costs, pay off some debt and go to school. 2.) Take a higher paying job in a large metro area, and see where it takes me.

We've been together for about a year and a half. Several months ago, he made plans behind my back to see his ex. I could tell he was hiding something from me and I asked him about the girl I'd seen him texting a lot (and quickly exiting the conversation if I was nearby). He said she was just a friend, I asked if she was an ex and he said yes. He said they'd been talking because she was in town. I asked if he had plans to hang out with her, he said no. I could tell he wasn't being entirely truthful, and I had to know for sure. So I checked his texts. Turns out he had tried to get her to meet up with him and made it as far as setting a time and place but she couldn't make it. We dealt with that, he said he knew it was wrong, etc. He said he was going to continue his friendship with her but not see her. Fine with me, I just don't want to know about it. Saw him texting her today, I asked him if he could not talk to her when he's sitting right next to me, because it brings up the old feelings. He has plenty of other chances to talk to her, I just don't want to know about it. He gets pissed and has been ignoring me the entire night. He refuses to talk to me, and keeps telling me to leave him alone and calling me immature. I feel like it's fair of me to ask him not to talk to her when I'm around, after lying to me and going behind my back to make plans with her. I don't understand why he's making a huge deal about this. I just want to get some outside opinions on this, I don't know if I'm being crazy or he's overreacting.

I asked my boyfriend not to text his ex around me after he lied about seeing her, now he's pissed and won't talk to me. Is this fair?

I don't know if this was greatest achievement so much as it was my biggest WTF I WON moment. I went to an exclusive beauty school. They made pretty much everyone submit an application for [this contest]( I didn't really care about winning, but it meant I could slack off on my project sheet that month since there were 100 bonus points as incentive. I fucked up the ratios to mix a level 6 in the sections closest to her face, so it came out as a level 4, much darker. I was way ahead of the game by accidentally creating [tres chic ombre-look]( in 2007. We got into the biggest fight ever, and she said she wouldn't go to school, unless a professional fixed it. She got tons of compliments on it. Fast forward to Halloween: Our school director told everyone who had been emailed about winning Beacon to come forward, since they'd received it in their emails or been called by someone else. I think 11 people walked forward, and I just stopped paying attention. Then, my name was called as a winner. I was so surprised that I immediately started crying and saying, "ARE YOU SURE?" I was standing in front of two hundred people just bawling so loudly and smiling. The Pro beauty assoc gave me a scholarship to Beacon, while the school gave me an all expense paid trip to Orlando. While there [Sam Brocato]( locked lips with me after a cocktail party my school's network had to reward 35/100 winners being from their schools. He also invited me to one of his houses in Louisiana. Then, his wife walked up, and I was like Nawwwbrah.

Entered a contest to avoid doing school work. Won a scholarship and all expense paid trip to a major cosmetology event. Got kissed by a celebrity hair stylist who turned out to be a married man.

I love my 18 year old brother, he isn't all bad, has lots of qualities as well, but I'm starting to hate him more than ever. My parents always did everything they could for him, still do. He has the best parents in the world, all the support and love in the world, and he still complains about everything!! He's always saying he doesn't have enough money to buy the clothes he wants, doesn't have enough money to do what he wants, that no-one really listens to him, that my parents don't care enough for him, blah blah blah. Even though my parents do everything they can for him, he's still an ungrateful little bitch who knows nothing about real suffering or lack of money, but still complains about every single thing!! He argues with my parents all the time (my mom mostly, who's unemployed and stays home practically all day) for the stupidest reasons, and I'm tired of this. I'm tired of his emotional manipulation towards my mom; doesn't he see how sensitive she is? Doesn't he see that her being unemployed affects her and she needs our support so she doesn't fall into a depression again? I guess not, as he only thinks about himself, that selfish brat. I just want out of this house, I'm tired of witnessing his manipulative behavior, but I can't help but think about what it will be like for my mom once I'm gone. I'm sorry for rambling, I just needed to get this off my chest and I don't wanna bother my friends with this again.

My brother is a selfish, manipulative brat who doesn't care about anyone other than himself and I'm starting to hate him for it more than ever.

I am single, she is a wild single. Attraction has been there since the beginning but never acted on, just flirting. Last night she got drunk and we started talking about how attracted we are too each other, before long things escalated into a wild 4 hour session of sex, cuddling, more sex, more cuddling. I am sitting at work now completely wasted from no sleep and wondering what happens from here, I don't really see us dating but I have been single for 9 months and I am so attracted to her. I want to keep the living situation but am just not sure how that will play out.

I slept with my house mate last night and although I don't want to date her, I am madly attracted to her and the sex is amazing but I don't want to ruin our living situation

Hello, first of all it is very important for me to emphasize that I have a very good relationship with my sister, and I deeply respect and admire her. That being said, her gross habits really get to me sometimes. She is in graduate school, and she comes home to visit for several weeks whenever possible. We live with our parents. Many of the things she does such as allow a bunch of water to come out of the shower, or not keeping the sink area clean are mildly inconvenient at worst. The thing that bothers me the most is her smoking. I have nothing against people who smoke, and if she desires to do so then I have nothing against it. The problem is, I cannot STAND the smell. She smokes in our bathroom because our parents don't know she still smokes (and would throw a bitchfit if they knew she did) so she has to smoke away from them. Unfortunately, the smell lingers in the bathroom for a couple of ours and it really disgusts me. She's asked me before if her pot smoking bothers me, and I told her no, because it really doesn't. It's just the smell I really can't stand. To make it worse, I'm god awful at confronting people, and I don't want to force her to stop smoking. How do I go about this in the best way?

The smell of weed from my sisters smoking makes me sick, and I don't know how to tell her without making her feel like she has to stop.

This relationship didn't start up like a normal one, you could say. He was married and I engaged. We were in a group project and needed to spend more time with each other. He was friendly and I had noticed we both wanted to spend more time with each other. So, we started doing other work related things and not just the project. After a few months of this building tension, we never did anything you could barely call anything flirting, he asked me as we were alone. He asked if I had felt this tension too. I did and told him. The project was done, however, he needed to go back overseas and present it. That's when the texting began. I felt happy. This perfect guy was here. All the same interests, perfect personality combination, I cannot think of one bad thing to say. Obviously the whole issue with us not being single hit. I broke off my engagement without hesitation. Don't feel bad for the guy, he didn't seem to care and moved on right away. He, on the other hand, stayed married. I felt like a fool. I had always thought things through. It didn't help me. So screw it I said. I was devastated and I will admit acted crazy. Quit my job and moved to a state that was warmer. Found someone and slept with them. That was the worst possible thing I could do. He called me and filed for the divorce. I did mean something, but it was too late. The trouble started a few months after we "were" together. He could not forgive me for doing such a thing. I do not blame him. Problem is we both want to be with each other. He can't find a way to get past it. I never believed in soul mates until I met him. With my mistake and mine alone. I lost and ruined both our lives.

Fell for an unavailable man, devastated slept with someone else, man became available, but now too hurt to forgive me doing that. How do we fix something like this? We both want to make it work, but too much hurt.

I am a vegan (20+ years) so my food choices may be a bit different than what works for you but I ate a normal, carb-centric meal the evening before the LT100 then ate a standard breakfast about 30-45 minutes before the start (granola with yogurt). My best advice during the race is to eat whatever you can while you can. Typically, your ability to whack down solids will diminish the longer the race goes on. During the race itself, I ate almond butter/jelly sandwiches, bananas, avocado, cantaloupe, pretzels and hummus wraps then switched to whatever sounded good/I could stomach later in the event. At one point, cantaloupe was the only thing that worked then I was able to start back on gels and clif bars to get me to the finish. I also drank Cytomax as a supplement throughout the race and occasionally had some cola.

Carb-centric but not in excess the night before then eat whatever you can for as long as you can during the event then eat whatever will stay down.

So a few years ago, said girl (we'll call her Suzie) came to my house and I instantly fell in love. Years go by of seeing her only a couple times a year because of distance, but I kept falling more and more in love with her. Over the years, I would hear peeps of her talking about me to her parents (mom's are real close), but she has never told me anything flat out, but I and everyone else know that it was kind of meant to be. I kept denying the possibility because of said distance, but I knew deep down that somehow and someway we were meant to be together. So, in my absence, she started to date another guy. Now, Suzie is a total angel who has never and probably will never do anything wrong. But said guy is such a loser. He was 17, already had a kid and a history of drugs and alcohol. He is extremely rude to her and her family and completely anti-social. No one really knows why she fell for him but the main hunch is that she honestly just felt sorry for him. So now, after dating said ding-dong for 2 years, his mother pressured him into proposing to her and out of the kindness and goodness of her heart, she said yes. Obviously, this broke me right down the middle. But here is where it starts getting really interesting... Suzie's family absolutely loves me for some reason (i'm not super attractive, kinda awkward) and everyone from her town is supporting and telling me to be some sort of "human crowbar" and break them apart. Now, the one thing I really don't want is to be known as the guy who destroyed an engagement. But, at the same time, when I asked Suzie if she was excited to be engaged, she said "well...idk i mean that's a big commitment..." to which I responded "wtheck man!? this is supposed to be one of the most exciting time of your life!" So here I am, torn down the middle. Should I wreck shop and save my dream girl from a total dork, or should I keep my distance and let her learn for herself? When her family and family friends are begging me to do something it really hurts because I want her to be happy, but at the same time I know she deserves someone so much better even if it isnt me. I want to be her "white knight" or whatever but idk if it's worth risking a friendship/potential gf or maybe even wife.

Dream girl fell for a loser, her family and friends want me to budge in and be the hero but I don't want to be the jerk in this situation because I still love her

What are my options in relation to changes being made to my employment contract? Can I refuse to sign something I did not agree to without it affecting my employment? Background: My employer pays for our exams and training. It has not been stated that we would need to repay these costs until recently. It was announced last month (2 days after I booked my next exam) that we would be liable to repay costs in the event we leave the company within 36 months of the cost being incurred. Today we have been given a document stating it's an amendment to our contract amednmnd the changes are to be implemented immediately. My problem is I have an interview lined up 31 March. I've had a first interview with the company (1 march) and they have called me back for a second interview. I calculate the costs I would owe my current employer as £530. I only earn £1,106 at present and cannot afford to lose that amount from my pay or I cannot afford to pay my half of the bills/rent and my SO wouldn't have the available funds to help me out. Can I refuse to sign this document? What is the smartest move here considering I did not agree to these costs prior to taking the exams and certainly wouldn't have sat them if I had known? My issue is that I don't want to kick up a fuss and create tension if I don't end up getting the job. But on the other hand, the interview is promising (I have a friend at the company and the Directors I've already met have apparently gone up to her and told her how impressed hey were... so I'm hopeful). I think that's enough info.... but happy to expand if necessary. New job would be a £4,500 pay increase; walking distance so less fuel costs; less travel time etc.

employer is making changes to my contract and they have asked me to sign it. How can I refuse and would this affect my employment? Apologies for any typos I'm on my phone!

Hello r/relationships! I have a quick question about a pretty minor event; I just wanted an outside opinion. My boyfriend of 2 years was recently hanging out with his younger brother Mark (17 years old) and his girlfriend Paige. When I later saw my boyfriend that night, I asked him where Paige was planning to stay for the night (she was visiting from out of town and has very strict parents). He replied that he didn’t know. I mentioned that maybe she was staying with one of the girls from their church and he didn’t say anything and we changed the subject. Later I got an e-mail from Paige’s mother verifying that she had, in fact, spent the night at my place during her visit (apparently this was the story Mark and Paige were telling). When I questioned my boyfriend, he told me that he had spoken with Mark the day he saw them about Paige possibly (not for sure) spending the night in his dorm room, and that if she did, would my boyfriend cover for them with her parents. My boyfriend agreed. I felt like this was a lie by omission, mostly because he knew I wouldn’t agree with him lying for them, but he is adamant that he was 100% honest with me because he wasn’t actually sure if she ended up staying in the dorm. The issue is honestly no big deal and I’m not upset or anything, but I believe that by him leaving out this information (the conversation he had with Mark), that he is lying by omission. Am I crazy?

Disagreement because I think boyfriend lied by omission by not telling me his plans to cover for his younger brother, he believes he is completely innocent by being literal.

I think one of the reasons why he ended up a high school teacher is that it's shown pretty well throughout the series that Walt is impossible to work with. Not the murdering part, I assume that's because of the meth business, but his utter inability to take criticism or advice, need to be in control of everything and gigantic ego are, I believe, not new developments. He's incredibly bitter over what happened with Gray Matter and no doubt taking that out on every professional business relation he's had since. The high school is probably just happy being able to employ a nobel prize winning physicist on a crappy salary that they'll not go against him, and Walt is safe in the knowledge that he's the smartest person in the building. His interactions with Jesse (and uncomfortableness with Gail) also suggest he does actually have a passion for teaching. Whether this is because teaching allows him to feel superior to his student or because he actually likes it, is up for debate.

He works at the school because they're the only ones willing to work him with and it strokes his ego knowing he's the smartest around.

In classic TIFU fashion, this happened about 5 years ago. I was on holiday with my family in Japan, and we were having a great time. However about half way through the trip, I started developing a horrible cold, and this was right before a trip to the northern part of Japan, so there would be lots of travelling within the next few days. This cold came at literally the worst time it could. Fearing for the worst, me and my brother, went to a local drug store to pick up a decongestant, in hopes that it would at-least suppress the cold. The cashier pointed us to a blue box, with labels and warnings slapped all over it. Being the adolescent that I am, I thought to myself 'Fuck it, I need the strongest shit possible'. This was my first fuck up. After getting back to the hotel, I briefly skimmed the box, didn't think too much of it, just a regular decongestant right? Nope. This was some industrial strength shit man, it probably could have unclogged a toilet if you dropped a pill into it. The instructions on the box said to take one every 12 hours. Yea, this shit worked for 12 hours, so it probably wasn't my finest moment when i took 4 pills within the span of 6 hours. That night I woke up in a puddle of sweat. I had 3 showers that night, and would keep washing my face in the sink every 20 minutes, in some sort of autopilot. I didnt even realize what was happening, just kept thinking to myself, 'man I'd really like a cold shower right now'. In hindsight I realized my body was overheating, and I was subconsciously cooling it down. The morning came, and I honestly felt great. My nose wasn't leaking and only one nostril was blocked, so I proceeded to have a great time on the rest of the trip. Then after a while I realized it. It'd been 2 weeks and I was still breathing out of one nostril. 2 months had gone by and I'd tried every trick in the book, so I decided to see a doctor about it. He stuck a camera up there and literally just shrugged, and over the next year, 5 other doctors would do the same. Stick a camera up my nose, find nothing, shrug. It's been 5 years, and I still have a blocked nose. It goes away when I exercise, so that's nice relief sometimes, but for the most part, I am constantly being annoyed by a blocked nose. Especially when trying to sleep.

Tried to get rid of a blocked nose on holiday. Japanese Demon drug ensured that I'll have a blocked nose for the rest of my life.

Long story short: mutual decision between myself and a mentor that I should be more social, so I figured I should try dating again. One date couldn't hurt, after that I would have a little bit of social interaction and it would be done. Quite literally a social experiment. But what happens when the 'social experience' goes further? I met this girl online, she lives about 130km from me and has been looking for a job in my town since before we met. Since we met she has seriously upped her job-seeking game. We both care about and love each other, but I have my doubts as to whether it is on the same level or not. I am not comfortable in relationships, I am not skilled at relationships, I have no idea what to do. My last relationship ended because my gf at the time coerced me into sleeping with her and then left me (long story, different post). Since then I just haven't wanted a relationship, really. Maybe casual dating. Current gf wants to move in together, says she sees a future with me, and has said numerous times she doesn't want to be in her 40s and get married that late. She has a stable career (which she is going to uproot when she moves to my town), a new car, and is fairly stable. I am a recent university graduate who just turned 25 and plan on going to grad school if everything works out. She keeps saying that she loves me and wants it to work and sees a future with me and wants to move in together. I don't. I don't want to move in with her at this point, because I honestly don't see a future at this stage. It's too early for me. 2 months (barely) is not enough time for me to say 'she's the one', when she has already told me that. I feel like I am in way over my head here.

GF of 2 months is rushing things. She thinks I'm the one and wants to move in together. I don't know at the point because it's too early for me. What do I do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We started out as friends, and ultimately, he's my best friend. It really does feel like he just naturally goes with me in every way. He has constantly said the same thing about me, and he was the one to initially start the romantic side of the relationship. I think of him as perfect in nearly every way and have never really left the honeymoon stage of the relationship. When we first were together, after a few months I said "I love you" to him and it was probably the first time I ever really felt that way about someone. Unfortunately, he became extremely cold and distant and asked me not to say it or ask him to say it. Eventually, he revealed to me that he had lost a girlfriend several years ago, and is still in love with her and unable to say it to anyone else. It hurt, but eventually I was able to move on and was accepting. We found other ways to express our feelings. Several months later, to my surprise, he randomly told me he loved me. I was over the moon about it and we both said it regularly for almost a year. Then, I went through some hard times in my life, and felt lost. Around this same time, he withdrew and became distant from me and I felt abandoned. We eventually confronted the issue, and seemed to be back to normal. However, to this day, he refuses to say he loves me. I also feel like he has become less doting and intimate with me. Whenever I confront him about it, he gets angry and depressed saying I'm not being understanding of his inability to say it. He said that the death of his girlfriend has put a block in that area for him. However, I feel utterly confused why he suddenly was okay with saying it and now isn't. I want to be understanding of his grief, but it's taking a toll on me. He says he's in therapy for helping him get over her death, but it's been months and I don't see any change. I find myself insecure about his feelings for me, and when I try to talk to him about it, he says that I know he loves me and that's enough. He insists his feelings for me haven't changed. I'm very insecure about his feelings for me but he doesn't seem to see an issue. I'm at a loss for what to do. I see him as someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I want to know he feels the same way.

My boyfriend says he can't share his feelings with me because the last time he felt this way, his girlfriend died. I don't know how to help him and I don't know how to continue on in the relationship.

So I had one picture of me and my ex that I uploaded to FB after NYE. It's the only photo we had together on any social media. She ended up hiding the pic, and when I asked her why she said it was because of her ex. She said she broke up with him and hurt his feelings. This picture would devastate him and she still cares. She swore up and down that she would never get back with him and thinks I'm sexy funny, treat her well etc. Anyways I'm not buying it and suspect something is up. So we argue about it for awhile. She kept reducing it to me being immature about FB, when I was saying it was more about her hiding a picture and having lingering feelings for her ex. So we have been distant. We just got together over the weekend. We had sex which counts cause it felt passionate. In the morning we got breakfast, and when she was leaving she said she already missed me etc. Two days later she was being weird. Distant. I asked her what was up and she said she felt she wasn't ready for a relationship. I feel that there might be another guy and it may be her ex I am not sure. I know the Ex through FB. Should I contact him and ask him whats up since things between me and her are over? She just told me she needs space etc, and that its hard for her.

Girlfriend of 5 months left me over one argument. I think she's still in contact with her ex. Should I call the guy and just have a conversation, or is that crazy?

I'm 18 years old and have never had a girlfriend. So I wouldn't say I'm asocial or anything but I have a hard time talking to new people. I want to meet new people and eg. date but when it comes to my attitude towards the situation it gets me down a bit. I talked to someone on tinder and we'll be studying together (we haven't met) on monday or tuesday so that's why I started thinking about this. I consider myself quite nerdy, I don't look too nerdy and I can speak about any other topic but when it comes down to my personality it's undeniably a big part of my life. I play videogames everyday and I LOVE Star Wars. This shouldn't be a problem yet it bothers me. Does this come off as low self-esteem? Possibly so I'd say and I know that's not attractive. But it's hard avoiding these feelings, I want to be myself but at the same time the person I am doesn't feel like something that most people my age would be interested in. I want to be able to be open about who I am to someone I go on a first date with without having the feeling that I should avoid the topic because it'll give off a better image of myself. If she asks "What do you do in your free time?" I don't want to answer "Just chilling" or "Play guitar" when the biggest part of it is gaming. Obviously the answer is I should be open and honest about who I am. Maybe this is just getting my attitude towards the situation in text but if me being honest doesn't work well when I meet new people I'm having a hard time seeing the benefits of being honest.

I don't know what attitude I should have in relation to meeting new people and going on dates for fear that my real self isn't attractive to anyone I'd be interested in.

Some friends and I were hunting for our first apartment, in Brooklyn, NY, and we ran into some trouble. There are two problems we are having with the lease - We were told that all three roommates would be on the lease, and we were told the apartment would be rent stabilized. Neither point can be substantiated via email and text messages, but the interactions may have been recorded. Before signing the lease the body was thoroughly read and objectionable content discussed. These two issues resulted from omissions and were thus overlooked because they produced no objectionable content within the document. Hopefully we have learned from this mistake. For the first issue, we were told by the Broker that all three names would be on the lease, as we had asked, but that the Landlord only needed one signature. Within an hour of the lease signing it was recognized that no other names had been written in the lease agreement. Broker and Landlord were called, and Landlord stated that they would not add any additional names. While looking over the document due to the first issue, the second one came to light. All three roommates independently remember the Broker specifying that the apartment was rent controlled while it was shown. During lease signing Landlord repeatedly referred to the document as the standard rent stabilized lease agreement. After noticing this problem - part of the document header reading 'Un-Stabilized Lease Agreement' (Stabilization being nowhere else mentioned) - the Broker was call. Broker was asked if the apartment was stabilized and replied in the affirmative. When asked of certainty Broker referred to the numerous times Landlord referred to the document as a standard rent stabilized lease. Broker called Landlord and then Tenant to tell Tenant that while all the other apartments they had seen in the building were stabilized this one was not. Tenant called Landlord and referred to the previous conversations with Broker but Landlord reiterated that this apartment was not stabilized. Tenant told Broker, Landlord, and Landlord's office to hold the checks they had been given in order to resolve the issues, and they seemingly agreed. The Tenants are not sure how to proceed. Was this a bate-and-switch? Is it worth keeping the lease to a great apartment? Could there be other issues laying in wait for us? Should we call off this rental? Will there likely be legal or financial repercussions from this? Should/can we negotiate a new/better deal? (Broker had initially mentioned the rent could be lowered, but then said it would not since the unit was rent stabilized) Was the Broker stupid or deceitful? Should we file a complaint against Broker or Landlord for deceptive practices? Will doing so be worth the consequences?

Broker, and seemingly Landlord, told us apartment was rent stabilized, and that all three roommates' names would be on the lease, but that turned out not to be the case. Should we take the nice apartment anyway?

I think I understand what is going on. Your boss will sell the business for 750k to the partner. Boss will ask for an additional 250k in asking price so that he can give 250k (split equally) to all of his employees. He still gets 750k for his profit. The partner is now in debt of $1 million. If the partners newly bought business succeeds she pays the $1 million back perfectly fine but if it fails she declares bankruptcy but you get your portion of $250k and the boss gets his $750k.

Boss is making partner to take larger loan so he can give a bonus to his employees. If business succeeds loan is paid; business fails bankruptcy loan "disappears". Boss and employees still get their profits.

I have an older brother, and he used to enjoy pulling pranks and scaring me. My parents have always been pretty strict, and we learned from a young age that obedience is the only option. Bedtime was always serious business. When we were sent to bed, we expected to make no noise and go to sleep immediately. So one night, my parents send my brother and I to bed, and everything is fine. About an hour after we get in bed, I have to use the bathroom. So, I get up and go. When I was finished in the bathroom, I came back to my room, and flopped down on my bed, only to realize that someone was already in my bed. I screamed, and jumped out of bed, and my brother ran back to his room, practically suffocating himself with his laughter. My parents then proceed to scold me for making noise and being out of bed. It wasn't even a big deal, but I still (15 years later) get so angry that I got scolded and he didn't when I didn't even do anything wrong. I don't live with my brother anymore, but I still have to turn on the light in my room before getting back into bed after using the bathroom. Just in case.

My older brother scared me after bedtime one night, I am over-sensitive and still get mad at parents for scolding me instead of him. EDIT: Key stuff I forgot.

Recently I split up with the girl I was sure I was going to marry. We had been together for 4 years and she (F22) felt she wasn't ready to be tied down so young. We parted amicably, but how do I go about moving on? I'm finding the thought of trying to date again very intimidating. I also seem to be struggling with the thought that my best years are behind me and can I ever be truly happy in a relationship again if it doesn't measure up to the last one? Due to the length of our relationship and other situational factors, I don't really have the social network to meet single women around my own age too regularly. On top of that, most of my friends aren't single and so I find myself without anyone to really go out and meet people with. Any suggestions on how I can start to rebuild a social network?

broke up from a 4 year relationship, need advice on coping and moving on. Edit: Thanks for the support guys, hearing from people who have been through this already really helps.

I didn't see it until afterwards, but when I worked at Dillards (nicer dept. store, if you aren't familiar with it) I was filling in at the petite womens department since the regular associate called in. I was unracking and boxing up the unsold clearance items for charity donation when I smelled shit. I thought maybe somebody nearby farted, but as I got further into the clearance rack the stronger it became. I decided to take a break to get away from the disgusting smell and did my walk-through of the changing rooms, starting at the far end working my way down. When I got to the end, the smell of shit was so strong I started gagging. I opened up the handicapped dressing room door to see what the hell it was and saw a pile of human fecal matter on the carpet floor. I laughed my ass off and called the dock guys to come clean it up. They were far from happy. So I went back to my previous duty of boxing the clearance items. The last item on the rack, a pair of burgundy velour track pants, smelled TERRIBLE. I thought I'd throw up. I pulled them off the hanger and made the mistake of peering inside. There was shit caked inside the seat and leg of the pants. Fucking sickening.

As a Dillards sales associate, I found human shit in the dressing room and in the clothes in my department. Also, my mom was working at JCPenneys once and caught a guy jerking off in the dressing rooms to a package of mens briefs. Ha.

My (28M) SO, thinks it's ok to be friends and regularly speak with his ex girlfriends. We've only been dating a few months, but this bothers me and I don't know how to bring it up. When I've (24F) mentioned that he's giving these girls the wrong idea, one in particular who won't leave him alone, he says it's not a big deal and they will not get the wrong idea. He's told me that this particular girl is still "in love" with him, but he does not or has ever loved her. They dated about 4 months. If he says they are just friends, then I should be able to meet her, right? He doesn't think we need to meet at all. Assume the worst, or leave it alone?

The guy i'm (24F) dating (28M) thinks it's ok to be friends with his EX who still loves him. They speak regularly, and i'm not ok with it.

We started dating beginning of junior year of Uni. She had to stop school because she failed one to many classes but was still working in town as an Assissnant Manager for a store. I came home to FL and got a nice paying job. A few months go by and we think about moving in with eachother. I go look at places and then my mom and dad sit down and have a serious talk with me. They sit me down and map out all of our financials, me and the gfs and tell me that we were POORLY prepared. I didnt even think of half of the fees going into getting a place. I didn't even think which made me realise that maybe I wasnt ready for this. Maybe I needed to grow up a bit more, discover what else is out there before I settle down. So we get on skype and I tell her, shes hysterical im depressed af but I know what I feel. She says that, "you wasted three years of my life with this, you lead me on etc etc. You're an asshole and I hope every girl you meet sees that you're an asshole." Granted I did fuck up and tell her this a bit to late for her to resign her lease, I even offered to pay to help her find a new pleace but she rejected that idea. I do feel like an asshole. and now I'm not so sure I made the right decision. My parents never really liked her and everyone said she was wrong for me but I was in love with her and I still am. I'm just really confused...

Dated for 3 years, plans to move in together, changed mind realized i wasnt ready, girlfriend flips and tells me im an asshole, im depressed

First and foremost, with workers' comp., most of the time unless your company is self-insured then the opposing attorney will be an insurance company attorney. Insurance defense firms literally never take on plaintiff's cases. So when you call around looking for a consultation, if you say "I'm an injured worker injured on the job..." and the office is actually a defense firm, they won't even have you come in to talk. Talking to plaintiff's attorneys will put you in a position where they will never be representing your employer.

you won't even have to ask if they are representing your work place. Also, my above answer doesn't even get into the ethical problems the attorneys could face.

I didn't particularly find it mind blowing or even like it at first, but after a few episodes it grew on me. I'm not saying that it is life changing, I think it's just a good cartoon with a friendly community. [Here]( is an explanation as to why I personally find it enjoyable, though I can't really say this applies for everyone that watches the show. As for watching it just to get attention, I don't do this and keep it relatively quiet about my interest in the show. (I mean this is a thread about hobbies which are ridiculed) However, I would be wrong to say that nobody watches my little pony just to get attention. It has the same cult/niche feel that Invader Zim got a few years back, which led to high/middle school age kids liking the show just to proclaim that it makes them quirky, unique, and mature for liking something "obscure". Kudos for both of you for trying out an episode which is more than what most people do.

It's just a cartoon, and I like it for subjective reasons. Some people watch it for attention but I don't think they are the majority of the fans.

I, personally, am not the most social person in the world. I have one or two close friends but that is it and I don't often hang out with them regardless. I am by no means socially awkward and people generally like me due to my wit and compassion. However the simple fact is sometimes I just can't stand people so I don't often get to know them outside of school; they become "school friends". Today I was supposed to see Skyfall with my family, but due to an after school program I had to miss it. One of my "school friends" who overheard and told me to come with him and a bunch of other "school friends" to see it later tonight. On top of that he drove me home, left, and came back to pick me up so I could get to the theater because my parents weren't going to be home in time from the theater to pick me up from the after school activity or to drop me off for the movie. Really long story short, I had an amazing time with a bunch of people I now consider actual friends. I usually don't go out with friends and just to see A FANTASTIC movie with fantastic people was great and it's all thanks to this guy who invited me. It absolutely made my day.

I don't usually hang with people, somebody invited me to a movie with tons of people, I had a fantastic time. What are some things more people have done to make you feel "part of the group" and make your day?

Actually a need for sleep encourages the organism to be less active. They typically sleep during the time of day to which they are not well-suited (e.g. nocturnal animals sleep in the day, diurnal at night). This makes them harder to detect by predators active at that time (less noise, already moved to a safe location, less energy use while sleeping, etc.). Really, as long as an organism can find mates, get enough energy to survive and grow, and avoid predation it simply doesn't need to be active more.

The risk of predation or accidental injury/death grows the longer the organism is active, an impetus to sleep prevents this even aside from the other benefits of sleep.

Basically my girlfriend and I have never really been sexually synced. When we first started dating we would have sex all the time but of course it has reduced over the years. Now I am lucky to get sex once every 2 or 3 weeks and when I do it is bland and boring. OK, so something has changed here. I read through, and it seems like most of this thread thinks your relationship is unfixable. That may be true, but there's something else you should think about. Has she had any other changes in mood/disposition? Has she started any new medication? I was dealing with depression in college and once I started taking an SSRI, my sex drive was nonexistent. It didn't occur to me why that was until a few months later when I was reading about it.

Make sure that she's OK, and that there's not an external factor in play. If there is no other factor, then you'll need to follow the advice in this thread: Get out.

I work as a massage therapist and I was working part time in a small clinic before I started working at a proper health clinic. Anyway, they had labels to put on the persons file so you know which room they're in (9 rooms all up). Unfortunately, the receptionist got the room number labels mixed up with me and another masseur and I walked in on her giving a dude a happy ending. We never spoke about it, and I left that job about 2 weeks later.

Walked in on someone getting a happy ending. EDIT: I have definitely fapped to the thought of me being in the guys position, girl was pretty hot.

We're known each other from the internet for 7 years, exchanged pics, talked a lot in the past on the internet, liked each other a lot, but in the last 2 years, none of us kept in touch. We work in different cities, 6-7 hours car distance. A few months ago, my job offered me the opportunity to work in his city, for 5 months. One week before I left, I contacted him and asked him out; he didn't know I was there. He accepted and we stayed like 6 hours to talk without any sexual or romantic topic. At the end of the "date" he asked me when I'm coming back and he said that "now you have my number, you can call me at any time". And I told him that maybe we will see each other again and he said "of course we will" and that's it, he hadn't contacted me since and I don't know if I shoud do it, but I dont wanna push things... Now a little of myself: I'm recently out of a 5 year relationship and planned to relocate in that city and I feel stuck with this guy in my mind, because he is as I always known him: smart, interesting, people person, handsome etc. The relocation means professional oportunities for me, but I'm not sure my boss will let me go and lately I also consider relocation for this guy but when I try to conclude things, I get extremely confused because I'm not sure he likes me more than an old internet buddy

In love with an old friend, living in different cities, not sure if he REALLY likes me and I consider relocation there, so where do I go from here ? Am I immature?

Both won and lost. Wins: Great ass (many ladies tell me they are jealous), pretty eye color, decent looking, not too crazy Losses: Horrible vision ( about 20/375 ), colorblind as FUCK, and IBS

I have a great ass, but not so great things coming out and I'll never be able to tell if there is blood in my stool.

I was at a library, it was all dark except a lightbulb over the front desk. I was there with my mom and two aunts, as well as the librarian. Everyone else in the dream (including the librarian) thought we were at a pet store and would refer to is as such. The librarian was giving us a tour of the place and warned us to be careful because some kids had set up booby traps the day before as a prank. So, we had to watch our step during the tour. I narrowly escaped a couple but we made it to the end of the library pet store and back to the lobby area. When we got there, I looked down to realize that I had a spear through my leg. I had step in a booby trap without noticing. So, I went up the the librarian and asked her to pull it out. She was really mean and snobby and said no, go ask your mom. So, I walked up to my mom (still feeling no pain or indication of the spear) who was sitting on a bench with my aunts. They all had beards. I did not question this. I asked her to pull the spear out. She did. the end.

I went to a library that was a pet store and got a spear through my leg as a prank, which my bearded mom pulled out

I've (m33) worked closely with this guy for 2 years. there's two sides to every story, sometimes three. but here's what I know. he complains about his wife and/or the treatment he gets from her. they've been together 10 years. one child (F5). we work 12 hour shifts 9pm-9am on a 3-2-2-2 type of schedule. she yells at him for sleeping 5 hours or more after being up for 16. she complains when he talks to his coworkers via text while at home. she states that he doesn't help out with raising the child or household chores. on his behalf, as the breadwinner, he works while attending online classes to get his degree, comes home and cooks/cleans, laundry, Etc. basically for about two years he has had little to nothing nice to say about her. I can't really dig deep into detail without his permission as I plan on showing him this. his coworkers and I are there for him to listen, and he asks for advice periodically, but rarely takes it, and resorts to giving up so as to avoid arguments and backlash from her. I have gone so far as to urge him to take marriage counseling/ marriage therapy, and even loan him money so he could afford the copay, because I want to see him happy. they quit after two sessions because they couldn't afford it, and because he felt personally attacked or ganged up on. on her side, he is always dedicating most of his time to school or computers; technology is always his main hobby, and I'm sure it's become an escape from her daily bashing. sometimes they get along, go out for dinner sans daughter, talk about the future as a married couple, but for the most part, nothing he does is good enough for her. this is putting an exorbitant amount of stress on him, to the point where he loses sleep and or appetite. I'm pretty sure he hasn't turned to reddit for advice and maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries, but I am compelled to help. he turns into a dick at work a lot of the time and I believe it's directly relational to his relationship with his wife. there are a bunch of mini stories to tell to add to this whole thing, but I'll leave it there. hopefully some redditors can ask some questions that I or he could answer to shed the light on what he should/could do. he pisses me off from time to time but it's most likely due to home life being shitty. I just want to help.

coworker miserable cuz wife. wife miserable cuz husband. coworkers miserable cuz husband and wife miserable. edit: thanks for all the advice guys ! I'll keep my nose out of it unless he wants me to listen.

There's not much advice anyone can give me but I wanted to rant, I guess. I'm not going to be that guy and try to ruin their relationship by confessing my feelings or anything, but it really bums me out because I feel like the guy is using her. I met Claire about four years ago in high school, and we pretty much have been best friends since then. She had a boyfriend each time I wanted to ask her out, so I never got the chance to make a move. She has told me I was cute and she would date me if she were single, but that scenario never occurred because timing and such. Fast forward and Claire meets this guy, John, who is like 42 years old. I was kinda surprised, but I didn't really judge her. Who I'm judging is John because I feel like it's kinda weird to date someone so young, but that's just me. He also has a kid close to our age. Anyway, she talks to me about him a lot and about their issues, and I think he's using her for sex. She wants to marry him, but he doesn't seem like he'll ever pop the question. She tells me how he chooses to ignore her a lot (he won't reply to her texts or return phone calls), throws temper tantrums, and hangs out with women Claire isn't comfortable with him being around, etc. They've been together for 2 years. I don't know. It sucks because she's like that one person I relate to the most. She just happens to be with someone else. I've dated girls, and I'm not waiting for Claire, but I still think of her. I just wish I could have a chance. That's life though, right?

my friend is with a guy twice her age, and I feel like he's just using her. Just felt like ranting about how I'll never get a chance with her.

edit: urgh fuck im a guy and I ballsed up the title, too tired for this Okay, heads up this is pathetic, but I'm at a total loss I dunno what to do, there's this girl who I think I like and the other night we were kinda drunk(out with mutual friends) but it seems like she might be interested too though at the same time I could just be shitty at interpreting signals and stuff but I didn't try anything then cause towards the end of the evening she was a bit too drunk to probably be thinking rationally/everyone was around and I actually would want it to be something real and not just a drunk evening. But I have literally no idea how to do pretty much anything cause I've been pretty much infatuated with another girl for the past few years who didn't feel the same about me and I've only just recently got over it. So I've not really even been interested in anyone else for ages and I'm bloody useless anyway when it comes to relationships. So I'm not even sure if this was even that coherent just at the very least need to ask someone because I don't feel like I have any friends who are both close enough and likely to give good advice.

So long and short is, useless guy wants to know what to do about a girl he likes and has no idea cause he's not been interested in another girl for ages.