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user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: ok - first, my wife died over a decade ago. i understand your pain. it is immense. it's not going away soon. in some ways you will actually do things that others will see as "crazy." there will be times that you cannot function. that's all normal. it took me about 6 months to feel at all consistently functional. but there will also be times when you can do all right and be wanting to move forward. like when you wrote this message to all of us. take whatever time off you have been given. this is not giving up or giving in. your entire psyche has been shocked badly and you cannot function at your best. you need the time to recover, even if all you want to do is bury yourself in work to distract you from the pain of it all. it sounds like both institutions are doing you a solid and giving you the time. take it. you need it. i was trying to finish my dissertation when my wife died. my first draft was completely finished. it actually took me another 2 years until i got to my defense. ok, that's what it took. i simply could not have gone any faster. try to remember that your parents are trying to help even when they're not. you can also say, "no, i don't want that." they might actually hear you after 45 tries. no one you want to work with will look badly at deferment for this reason. when you're ready, you'll know.	user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: i’m sorry for your loss. i know it’s not the same, but my roommate took his life while we were living together. my biggest regret wasn’t taking time away from to school to process the event.
user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: ok - first, my wife died over a decade ago. i understand your pain. it is immense. it's not going away soon. in some ways you will actually do things that others will see as "crazy." there will be times that you cannot function. that's all normal. it took me about 6 months to feel at all consistently functional. but there will also be times when you can do all right and be wanting to move forward. like when you wrote this message to all of us. take whatever time off you have been given. this is not giving up or giving in. your entire psyche has been shocked badly and you cannot function at your best. you need the time to recover, even if all you want to do is bury yourself in work to distract you from the pain of it all. it sounds like both institutions are doing you a solid and giving you the time. take it. you need it. i was trying to finish my dissertation when my wife died. my first draft was completely finished. it actually took me another 2 years until i got to my defense. ok, that's what it took. i simply could not have gone any faster. try to remember that your parents are trying to help even when they're not. you can also say, "no, i don't want that." they might actually hear you after 45 tries. no one you want to work with will look badly at deferment for this reason. when you're ready, you'll know.	user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: your pain and how you're processing it is completely normal, both in the fact that many, many other people react this way to loss and that ultimately whatever you're feeling, however you feel you need to get through this, is fine, even if it's not the "typical." a therapist or grief counselor can help you move through this in a healthy way, which i highly recommend, but know that there are very few "wrong" ways to grieve or "wrong" reactions and there is no timeline. this sort of thing is also exactly what deferments are for. take time to take care of yourself. you will of course never "get over" this, but moving through normal life again does become less painful. if you dive headlong into your grad program, you're just going to feel off kilter -- deferments and gap years are normal and acceptable if anyone even notices it in the first place, but nearly failing your first year is going to be much harder to move past. i also want to caution you about this: the world of academics and research can be cutthroat in the sort of stress it makes us put on ourselves. especially now and always in the future, take care of yourself, too.
user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: deferment is not a bad idea, in fact, i'd say it's a great option. the only people that would possibly care about this deferment (or a gap year) is a phd program. if you show up to the phd program and are still a mess it is hard (not impossible) to recover from. my dad died unexpectedly two months before my phd program started and i wish i would have deferred for a year. i was a mess and i can only imagine you're worse off.	user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: i’m sorry for your loss. i know it’s not the same, but my roommate took his life while we were living together. my biggest regret wasn’t taking time away from to school to process the event.
user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: deferment is not a bad idea, in fact, i'd say it's a great option. the only people that would possibly care about this deferment (or a gap year) is a phd program. if you show up to the phd program and are still a mess it is hard (not impossible) to recover from. my dad died unexpectedly two months before my phd program started and i wish i would have deferred for a year. i was a mess and i can only imagine you're worse off.	user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: your pain and how you're processing it is completely normal, both in the fact that many, many other people react this way to loss and that ultimately whatever you're feeling, however you feel you need to get through this, is fine, even if it's not the "typical." a therapist or grief counselor can help you move through this in a healthy way, which i highly recommend, but know that there are very few "wrong" ways to grieve or "wrong" reactions and there is no timeline. this sort of thing is also exactly what deferments are for. take time to take care of yourself. you will of course never "get over" this, but moving through normal life again does become less painful. if you dive headlong into your grad program, you're just going to feel off kilter -- deferments and gap years are normal and acceptable if anyone even notices it in the first place, but nearly failing your first year is going to be much harder to move past. i also want to caution you about this: the world of academics and research can be cutthroat in the sort of stress it makes us put on ourselves. especially now and always in the future, take care of yourself, too.
user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: i’ll tell you what one of the most badass amazing scientists (tenured professor and leader in her field) i know told me, about taking a leave after my mother died last summer: it is seen as strength to know your limits and much better to concede to self care, rather than push forward and 1-not be all in, or worse 2-crash and burn. truly, immense grief is very hard, and grad school is very hard, face one at a time. and last but certainly not least, i am so deeply sorry for your loss. i don’t know how your undergrad institution is, but i hope they could meet you where you’re at and help you during this unimaginatively difficult time <3	user: my fiancée passed away on the 1st and she was going to come to my phd program with me. is deferment bad? i'm at a loss and i don't know what i should do anymore. i got into my dream phd program in january and my fiancée and i were making our plans to move there soon. however, my fiancée passed away unexpectedly on the 1st of this month and i've been a total wreck. i can't concentrate on my last semester of undergrad and a huge reason i chose this school was because she would love the area/things to do there. i want to still get my phd but now i'm feeling lost and scared about moving forward. i contacted the school and they said i can defer up to a year and keep my ra-ship offer and everything and my current university is offering me incompletes to finish over the summer, but i don't know what i should do. my parents have taken me back to my childhood home and they are trying to "get me over" the death of the love of my life. they want me to finish my undergrad on time (by may 1st) and start grad school on time (june 1st), but i'm having trouble just typing this let alone thinking about math. my end goal is to become a professor at a pui. would deferment be looked at negatively? does anyone know how i can transition back into my life/school? is it okay to not be able to do any work right now? i'm also feeling guilty to move on with my life without her. does anyone have any advice? i'm only 22 and my lover has already passed away. thank you for any advice. bot: your pain and how you're processing it is completely normal, both in the fact that many, many other people react this way to loss and that ultimately whatever you're feeling, however you feel you need to get through this, is fine, even if it's not the "typical." a therapist or grief counselor can help you move through this in a healthy way, which i highly recommend, but know that there are very few "wrong" ways to grieve or "wrong" reactions and there is no timeline. this sort of thing is also exactly what deferments are for. take time to take care of yourself. you will of course never "get over" this, but moving through normal life again does become less painful. if you dive headlong into your grad program, you're just going to feel off kilter -- deferments and gap years are normal and acceptable if anyone even notices it in the first place, but nearly failing your first year is going to be much harder to move past. i also want to caution you about this: the world of academics and research can be cutthroat in the sort of stress it makes us put on ourselves. especially now and always in the future, take care of yourself, too.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: phd's cause covid, n=1	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: take a few days. other than a graduation filing deadline there are few true emergencies in academia. however, be entirely prepared for the graduate school to tell you to pound sand if you are up against one.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: phd's cause covid, n=1	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congratulations! hope for a speedy recovery dr !
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: phd's cause covid, n=1	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first, congrats! second, i was incredibly ill when i defended. i forced myself to look over ten pages a day after that (i had almost five weeks and only 300 pages to look over). most days were easy with few revisions. some days required a little more effort. pareling out the work made it easier to get through. i hope you get better soon!!
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: phd's cause covid, n=1	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: inform your adviser? that's the first thing i'd personally do. so they'd know i won't be able to submit any revisions or further requirements as quickly as i can under normal circumstances. anyway, congrats op! i hope your case is mild and it goes away fast. take your vitamins and other over the counter medicine for symptom control.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congratulations! hope for a speedy recovery dr !
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: inform your adviser? that's the first thing i'd personally do. so they'd know i won't be able to submit any revisions or further requirements as quickly as i can under normal circumstances. anyway, congrats op! i hope your case is mild and it goes away fast. take your vitamins and other over the counter medicine for symptom control.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first, congrats! second, i was incredibly ill when i defended. i forced myself to look over ten pages a day after that (i had almost five weeks and only 300 pages to look over). most days were easy with few revisions. some days required a little more effort. pareling out the work made it easier to get through. i hope you get better soon!!
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: inform your adviser? that's the first thing i'd personally do. so they'd know i won't be able to submit any revisions or further requirements as quickly as i can under normal circumstances. anyway, congrats op! i hope your case is mild and it goes away fast. take your vitamins and other over the counter medicine for symptom control.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: take a few days. other than a graduation filing deadline there are few true emergencies in academia. however, be entirely prepared for the graduate school to tell you to pound sand if you are up against one.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first, you need to tell your committee for two reasons: first, so they know they were exposed (assuming it wasn't a zoom defense) and can react accordingly and second, so they know you might submit revisions late. if you are ill, don't power through it--- make sure you rest. according to the la times, doctors are warning that not resting when sick with covid may increase your chances of getting long covid. if i find a pre-print or paper on this, i'll update my comment with it.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first, you need to tell your committee for two reasons: first, so they know they were exposed (assuming it wasn't a zoom defense) and can react accordingly and second, so they know you might submit revisions late. if you are ill, don't power through it--- make sure you rest. according to the la times, doctors are warning that not resting when sick with covid may increase your chances of getting long covid. if i find a pre-print or paper on this, i'll update my comment with it.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: i was covid-19 positive when i gave my final honors presentation in undergrad, but didn’t know it till the next day. just assumed it was a really bad cold, but ended up in quarantine the next day.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first, you need to tell your committee for two reasons: first, so they know they were exposed (assuming it wasn't a zoom defense) and can react accordingly and second, so they know you might submit revisions late. if you are ill, don't power through it--- make sure you rest. according to the la times, doctors are warning that not resting when sick with covid may increase your chances of getting long covid. if i find a pre-print or paper on this, i'll update my comment with it.	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: rest…!!
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first of all: congratulations! please inform everyone you have met yesterday and days prior to that that they should get tested! speedy recovery!	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first of all: congratulations! please inform everyone you have met yesterday and days prior to that that they should get tested! speedy recovery!	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: i was covid-19 positive when i gave my final honors presentation in undergrad, but didn’t know it till the next day. just assumed it was a really bad cold, but ended up in quarantine the next day.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: first of all: congratulations! please inform everyone you have met yesterday and days prior to that that they should get tested! speedy recovery!	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: rest…!!
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: take your time. allot a certain amount of time each day. make sure everyone in your life respects what you've got to do. when i was finishing up, i was already teaching full-time and had some administrative responsibilities. in those days it was impractical to work from home. i put a sign on my door that read: i am working on my dissertation. before knocking on my door, ask yourself, "do i feel lucky?" one of my students got the "dirty harry" reference and added, "well, do ya, punk?"	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: did you tell everyone at your viva that you exposed them?	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: congrats it’s big thing to celebrate!! drink a lot of water and rest up. find some good books or movies to relax as you recover. it’s a lot (really a lot) of physical pain so i’d totally say find some distraction would be nicer. defended feb 13, 2017 but got super ill soon after christmas. major symptoms relieved within a week but never was a day without coughing before i hand in revised thesis. stress makes immune system not working well is so true.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: did you tell everyone at your viva that you exposed them?	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: i was covid-19 positive when i gave my final honors presentation in undergrad, but didn’t know it till the next day. just assumed it was a really bad cold, but ended up in quarantine the next day.
user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: did you tell everyone at your viva that you exposed them?	user: successfully defended phd yesterday. covid-positive today. so much to do to submit this paper, but i feel like death. any advice? bot: rest…!!
user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats, dr! i guess no one is showing you the secret handshake, what with social distancing and all.	user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats! stay healthy
user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats, dr! i guess no one is showing you the secret handshake, what with social distancing and all.	user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congratulations! mine is two weeks from today (via video)!
user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats, dr! i guess no one is showing you the secret handshake, what with social distancing and all.	user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congratulations! savor it.
user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats, dr! i guess no one is showing you the secret handshake, what with social distancing and all.	user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congratulations!
user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats, dr! i guess no one is showing you the secret handshake, what with social distancing and all.	user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats!!!
user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats, dr! i guess no one is showing you the secret handshake, what with social distancing and all.	user: successful defense! today i defended my phd dissertation, and it was accepted by committee with revisions. i'm so relieved i could cry. i'm so glad this stage is over. to be honest, i had been worried the pandemic was going to affect my defense process negatively, and i'm so relieved it's done with. bot: congrats doc
user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: yes.i’m the professor so it’s a problem.	user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: all the time. writing notes during the call definitely helps me stay focused.
user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: yes.i’m the professor so it’s a problem.	user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: yeah :/ it’s rly hard for me to go to talks and symposiums now, especially when they’re webinar format and i cant even discuss things or see others’ responses
user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: absolutely... and the ny times had a great article on this about 6 months ago as to why. it turns out that, when we engage with people in real life, our brains are absorbing a massive amount of almost-imperceptible information (small gestures, posture, foot-shuffling, smells, pheromones, etc.), most of it subliminally. (because our lizard-brains need to know: is this person about to attack me? is this person a potential mate? is this person a member of my in-group? and our civilized-brains are constantly-evaluating on every level, from the utilitarian to the social to the abstract.) but even on a high-quality, non-lagging zoom call, practically none of this information is being captured by the software or otherwise conveyed. you can't see their posture; you can't smell their pheromones, etc. so, your brain starts revving up to try to pick up the signals... and this is exhausting. (it's sort of like how your cell phone battery drains faster when you're in an area of poor coverage, as it tries to grasp onto a useable signal.) it goes the other way, too: when i was zoom-lecturing, i quickly learned to "over-emote"... to exaggerate the facial expressions emotions i was trying to get across, because the students seemed to respond much better when i did. but this itself was exhausting... a 50 minute zoom "lecture" felt as exhausting as giving a 2-hour in-person lecture.	user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: yeah :/ it’s rly hard for me to go to talks and symposiums now, especially when they’re webinar format and i cant even discuss things or see others’ responses
user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: absolutely... and the ny times had a great article on this about 6 months ago as to why. it turns out that, when we engage with people in real life, our brains are absorbing a massive amount of almost-imperceptible information (small gestures, posture, foot-shuffling, smells, pheromones, etc.), most of it subliminally. (because our lizard-brains need to know: is this person about to attack me? is this person a potential mate? is this person a member of my in-group? and our civilized-brains are constantly-evaluating on every level, from the utilitarian to the social to the abstract.) but even on a high-quality, non-lagging zoom call, practically none of this information is being captured by the software or otherwise conveyed. you can't see their posture; you can't smell their pheromones, etc. so, your brain starts revving up to try to pick up the signals... and this is exhausting. (it's sort of like how your cell phone battery drains faster when you're in an area of poor coverage, as it tries to grasp onto a useable signal.) it goes the other way, too: when i was zoom-lecturing, i quickly learned to "over-emote"... to exaggerate the facial expressions emotions i was trying to get across, because the students seemed to respond much better when i did. but this itself was exhausting... a 50 minute zoom "lecture" felt as exhausting as giving a 2-hour in-person lecture.	user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: every time i'm on a call.
user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: for me, vitamin d deficiency was the culprit.	user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: every time i'm on a call.
user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: yes - i started shortening my own lectures into smaller chunks when i realized that listening to anyone on zoom for more than 20 minutes straight is mentally exhausting. i don’t have a short attention span, either, so i don’t know why i find it so draining.	user: does anyone else get really sleepy about 20 minutes into any zoom call? i find it's impossible for me to stay alert during colloquiums or presentations, and sometimes even for more dynamic conversations where i'm actually participating, for more than about 20 minutes into a video call. i feel like my brain gets exhausted very quickly by the low-quality, compressed audio/video. i'll have a coffee during these events and that still doesn't help. has anyone else suffered from this, and do you have any tricks for remaining alert? bot: every time i'm on a call.
user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: i write while i do the research. even if things change, there is still a draft of the related work, methods and results that i can go to immediately when finished and continue writing. i write all over the place on the paper because of this strategy.	user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: i try to write really good notes as i work on the project. why we decided to do it (incl relevant papers it's building on), what our goal/question is, all the details about the method & analysis, etc. the first draft is just making that into full sentences and then you're just editing.
user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: i write while i do the research. even if things change, there is still a draft of the related work, methods and results that i can go to immediately when finished and continue writing. i write all over the place on the paper because of this strategy.	user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: a solid formula for the structure
user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: this may not work for everyone, but i have a big love for presenting. so i’ll make my figures and get them all nailed down, write my methods like normal, and basically set up a presentation outline. then, i’ll stream-of-consciousness word vomit on to the page as if i were talking to an audience. i take a day or more away, come back, and read it out loud to myself to identify any gaps in information or illogical jumps, to edit grammar and spelling, and just generally clean up. it makes for really speedy writing and gets you to practice “presenting” as well.	user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: i start with the research questions/hypothesis then literature review to show the gaps that highlight my research questions. then i move to the methodology and results, making sure the research questions are addressed well in those sections. from my experience writing and reviewing papers, these are what will drive the decision to accept/revise/reject the paper, so i work on them first to make sure rest fo the sections align with these sections. intro/motivation is next and then i work on discussions and limitations. conclusions and abstract are the last things i write because these are probably what reviewers will read first and you want these to highlight everything on your paper . i feel that this sequence helps me focus more on the contributions of my work and keeps that chain of thought throughout the paper.
user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: this may not work for everyone, but i have a big love for presenting. so i’ll make my figures and get them all nailed down, write my methods like normal, and basically set up a presentation outline. then, i’ll stream-of-consciousness word vomit on to the page as if i were talking to an audience. i take a day or more away, come back, and read it out loud to myself to identify any gaps in information or illogical jumps, to edit grammar and spelling, and just generally clean up. it makes for really speedy writing and gets you to practice “presenting” as well.	user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: i make a powerpoint slide deck. it creates a lot of clarity on how to frame the story and identify weak points, providing direction for additional experiments to strengthen the case.
user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: this may not work for everyone, but i have a big love for presenting. so i’ll make my figures and get them all nailed down, write my methods like normal, and basically set up a presentation outline. then, i’ll stream-of-consciousness word vomit on to the page as if i were talking to an audience. i take a day or more away, come back, and read it out loud to myself to identify any gaps in information or illogical jumps, to edit grammar and spelling, and just generally clean up. it makes for really speedy writing and gets you to practice “presenting” as well.	user: people who write scientific research papers quickly, what’s your secret? for academic research papers, what are your best tips and tricks for being both efficient and doing high quality work? what order do you write the paper in, and how do you keep from going off on too many tangents? how do you deal efficiently with co-authors? bot: i try to write really good notes as i work on the project. why we decided to do it (incl relevant papers it's building on), what our goal/question is, all the details about the method & analysis, etc. the first draft is just making that into full sentences and then you're just editing.