s.  This is what I don't understand. Why do people feel the need to 'help'? If I wanted help, I would ask for it. If I invite them over for a hosted evening, I want to be the one to host. When they invite me to their house, I let them host and bring a gift that has nothing to do with the meal.  As grad students, my circle is only now moving beyond making everything potluck. For us, it's reflexive and pretty normal. I'd say about half the time, I get asked to pick up a bottle of wine, or a loaf of bread, or to bring a salad. I've done it myself when I realize I forgot something or somebody asks if they can bring their very hungry boyfriend along, though generally I say I've got it covered.  This is what I don't understand. Why do people feel the need to 'help'? If I wanted help, I would ask for it. If I invite them over for a hosted evening, I want to be the one to host. When they invite me to their house, I let them host and bring a gift that has nothing to do with the meal.  As grad students, my circle is only now moving beyond making everything potluck. For us, it's reflexive and pretty normal. I'd say about half the time, I get asked to pick up a bottle of wine, or a loaf of bread, or to bring a salad. I've done it myself when I realize I forgot something or somebody asks if they can bring their very hungry boyfriend along, though generally I say I've got it covered.  I think there is a difference between grad students and people who host dinner parties . We are in our mid 00's, so our hosting and parties are different than college students.  This is what I don't understand. Why do people feel the need to 'help'? If I wanted help, I would ask for it. If I invite them over for a hosted evening, I want to be the one to host. When they invite me to their house, I let them host and bring a gift that has nothing to do with the meal.  As grad students, my circle is only now moving beyond making everything potluck. For us, it's reflexive and pretty normal. I'd say about half the time, I get asked to pick up a bottle of wine, or a loaf of bread, or to bring a salad. I've done it myself when I realize I forgot something or somebody asks if they can bring their very hungry boyfriend along, though generally I say I've got it covered.  I think there is a difference between grad students and people who host dinner parties . We are in our mid 00's, so our hosting and parties are different than college students.  This is 