About two times a year I find myself on my lonely little movie critic island all by myself. Everyone else in the world is raving about some fantastic work of art that I'm mostly sure is a big pile of steaming crap. Other times, all of the other critics are sure that we have just witnessed the worst movie to ever have the audacity to show its hideous self in a darkened theater, while I find it to be quite enjoyable.  This is one of those times.  And this time I'm sure LADY BIRD is a big pile of steaming crap. (Shout out to all of my critic buddies standing at the other side of the candy counter and laughing at me!)  I will say that the acting in this movie is outstanding. There may even be some award-worthy roles. But the plot is so plain, so boring, so generic store-brand vanilla that the acting gets swallowed up by the meh.  Seriously, the plot of this movie, (based on the life and horrific first-world, white-girl, middle-class-family tragedies of Greta Gerwig), is about a girl who doesn't quite fit in at school even though she has friends, has arguments with her parents, wants to move away to go to college, has a couple of relationships that end in breakups, and finally realizes her family is pretty okay.  What the actual #$%@!?  This is a movie? Ummm, no. It's basically the life story of almost every single American teen ever.  Truly, there is nothing in this movie that made me say, "oh, now I get why we are doing this." It is simply a slice of a boring life.  There is no way I could ever recommend anyone ever seeing this movie, but it has a 000% on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing, so what the heck do I know. Go enjoy it while I bask in the sun on my lonely island watching THE LONE RANGER again.