Datasets:

maxmnd

/

tap

like 0

All I'm sayin' is Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

That's bullshit, what about Lori? She's hot.

Lori's from Pennsylvania, not a Boston girl.

They're not that bad.

The fact that you have to say they're not that bad means that they are that bad. They turn into drunk, half-white, half-pink monsters after 2 hours at any beach.

Jesus, this is weak. It's not even gettin' me high. I gotta have a talk with my weed guy.

I-- It's workin' for me.

I think it sucks, I'm gonna have a talk with him.

Yeah, I don't know that you wanna go to a drug dealer with complaints.

No, I know this guy a long time. I've known him since 9/11. Remember, I was like, 'Aw, shit. 9/11. I gotta get high.'

Oh fuck, is it nine-thirty? Shit, I gotta get to work.

Hey, you mind pickin' up a bird feeder on the way home? I wanna start enjoying the beauty of birds.

Jesus, I don't know if I can drive.

I'll drive you, I feel fine.

Aw, Jesus. Fuck.

Aw, man.

Is it bad?

It's not good.

It's okay, go, go, I'll pull outta here. Hi, Thomas! How are ya?

Easy, Jersey license!

Tom Brady could do that.

Tom Brady could do that.

Fuck yeah, Flash! (then) Hey, before I forget, let's nail down a plan for the Bruins game tomorrow night.

I can't, I'm taking Lori to dinner.

For what?

Well, we've been dating four years tomorrow.

Oh, fuck me. Nice.

Lemme ask you something... you don't think she's gonna be expecting something... big, do you?

What, like anal?

No, like... a circular gold thing on the finger.

Oh, fuck that! It's four years! You and I have been together 27 years!

Where's my ring, Johnny? Where's my ring, asshole?

Stop it! Jesus Christ, knock it off! I mean, do you think she might be expecting me to make that kinda move?

No, John. It's a bad idea. And it's the wrong time. What with the economy and... the credit bubble... the Supreme Court... I mean, look at Haiti.

I guess I didn't think about that.

Thunder buddies for life, right Johnny? C'mon, let's sing the thunder song!

WHEN YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THUNDER, DON'T YOU GET TOO SCARED / JUST GRAB YOUR THUNDER BUDDY AND SAY THESE MAGIC WORDS: FUCK YOU THUNDER, YOU CAN EAT MY ASS / YOU CAN'T GET ME THUNDER, 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUST GOD'S FARTS.

Boomp.

God, there are some fucked up fish out there.

Yeah.

Jesus, look at that one. Mister tough guy fish. 'Hey! Whatsa big idea? Cold fusion? Well that is a big idea, I beg pardon!' Look at that guy. WASP-y white guy fish. 'I don't care for some of Conan O'Brien's humor. I don't like Irish humor. And this food is too flavorful. I don't care for flavor in my food.' 'Oh hey, sorry I'm late, guys. Hey, where's everybody goin'? Any of you guys got a tissue? I'm allergic to water.'

Ted... you gotta move out.

Wh... what?

It's... it's gotta happen.

What...what did I do?

Ted, my relationship is at a very delicate stage, and, y'know, Lori and I may just need a little space right now. Plus a hooker took a shit in our apartment.

Hey, look, that was a tough night for all of us.

She's makin' you do it, isn't she?

Yes. But, that doesn't mean we can't hang out. We'll hang out all the time!

What about... thunder buddies for life, Johnny?

I know. Fuck. I just don't know what to do here. I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm gonna lose her. And I do love her, Ted.

I know you do, Johnny.

I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.

And we'll hang out a lot, right?

Fuck, all the time.

Bring it over here.