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No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again.
Stanley
false
1,182
1
4
51
Uh, if they don't bobble, what's the point?
Dwight
true
18,400
4
3
38
Dwight has defeated the computer.
Andy
false
38,580
7
1
29
There we go.
Pam
false
22,566
4
14
94
He had an urgent matter in New York.
Troy
false
49,357
8
13
3
Hey! Tuna! He's back.
Andy
false
13,270
3
12
32
Hey, Kelly, it's Jim.
Jim
false
35,767
6
16
44
Ha ha, you got that right! Meredith? Come on, you're obviously single.
Michael
false
54,559
9
7
20
I thought it went great.
Dwight
false
29,103
5
21
17
Yeah isn't it? She was bludgeoned to death by the business end of a riding crop.
Dwight
false
48,206
8
9
16
I am the CEO and I am telling an employee of mine what to do.
Robert
false
25,819
5
9
23
That's the original.
Oscar
false
14,399
3
17
28
Martini please.
Jan
false
44,215
7
20
13
Don't you think it's better to tell him the truth now? You know, rather than waste more of his time?
Pam
false
25,240
5
7
35
Welcome back.
Jim
false
40,404
7
7
46
Just make him stop the freaking bus!
Andy
false
51,216
8
19
26
Oh, thanks. I've been re-using the hot dog water so it gets more flavor. It's only going to keep getting better.
Erin
false
356
1
2
12
A hero is part-human and part-supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster that must be avenged.
Dwight
false
46,712
8
4
16
Give me your car.
Mose
false
59,902
9
23
109
[still playing and singing] And all the faces that I know have that same familiar glow. I think I must have known them somewhere once before.
Creed
false
37,042
6
20
18
They had sex?
Erin
false
58,297
9
20
8
[claps] That was great man. Alright, I'm out of here.
Darryl
false
5,415
2
10
24
One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal somebody else's gift or choose a new gift.
Michael
false
49,466
8
13
16
The empanada guy!
Jim
false
40,860
7
9
20
Yeah!
Kids
false
16,195
3
22
34
When's the contest?
Pam
false
13,655
3
14
21
Stop. That's disgusting.
Jim
false
49,691
8
13
39
Eat it.
Darryl
false
26,196
5
11
13
You guys should... be hearing what I'm saying.
Andy
false
5,154
2
9
32
Ok, see you later. Nice job, Bill. Not.
Michael
false
32,688
6
6
13
Michael, you're all set at Botticelli's. I changed the reservation to two people.
Erin
false
9,146
2
22
11
Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
Michael
false
10,632
3
5
7
I have spent a year here. I have to commit or get out. Dwight's the top salesman in the company and he's taking me on my first sales call today. And, um, I'm excited.
Ryan
false
29,817
5
23
27
Okay, yes. Please take the room. Be right outside. Take your time.
David
false
18,923
4
4
40
Oh yes. Ever since the storm.
Jim
false
6,483
2
13
15
Listen Temp. I am conducting a little investigation so I'm no longer going to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it?
Dwight
false
33,700
6
9
21
I'll go. [stands up, begins speaking with a southern accent] My name is Deborah U. Tante. Deb for short.
Pam
false
36,441
6
18
20
[mimes zipping mouth and throwing away key, Andy begins to walk away] Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Hot. [Andy hovers his hands above her chest] Hotter. Pretty hot. Lower.
Erin
false
20,413
4
8
40
Cambodia. You?
Creed
false
35,705
6
16
32
That kid's going to have a lot of hair.
Michael
false
30,782
5
26
41
Eight?
Dwight
false
47,795
8
7
33
I have a new heart, you know.
Old Man
false
40,468
7
8
10
Are you going? [to Dwight]
Angela
false
16,655
3
23
36
Thanks.
Jim
false
27,087
5
14
2
What?
Michael
false
458
1
2
26
[on the phone] Mr. Decker, we didn't lose your sale today, did we? Excellent. OK. Let me just get your... what's that? No, we didn't close last time. I just need your... Oh. W-What code were you given? Oh, OK. That's actually another salesman here. I can redo it if you want to do that. Oh, he gave you a discount? No, I don't blame you.
Jim
false
25,878
5
10
3
This is the first Christmas party I am throwing as head of the party planning committee. The theme is 'Nights in Morocco'. This isn't your grandmothers Christmas party. Unless of course she's from Morocco, in which case it's very accurate.
Phyllis
false
31,464
6
3
12
Mm-hmm?
Michael
false
50,290
8
16
9
Alright, I'm gonna eliminate three people right now, okay? Just��� you three, no.
Nellie
false
54,263
9
6
22
Alright.
Andy
false
49,304
8
12
38
So leave.
Gabe
false
10,561
3
4
43
Well, I will be spending the entire afternoon in grief counseling for someone I've never met.
Pam
false
38,730
7
2
15
Alright.
Jim
false
22,927
5
1
74
But you know what, I want to make it up to you. There is a sure fire sale, but it's a two man job. Interested?
Dwight
false
43,528
7
17
24
Apparently, as soon as corporate found out I wanted to come in off the road, Jo offered me a cushy new job in Tallahassee. And here's the best part. I'm a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every sub species. Also I'm a huge boob nerd.
Todd
false
4,039
2
6
22
Uh, no, it's not.
Ira
false
45,226
7
24
5
He never called a meeting.
Jim
false
42,929
7
15
13
She's neat. Uh, I met her at Darryl's cousin's party. We were the only two white people there.
Andy
false
5,125
2
9
27
What are you... [whispers to Bill]
Michael
false
15,702
3
20
68
Forty?
Denise
false
32,549
6
5
29
Oh really? Is that supposed to scare me?
Michael
false
23,634
5
3
29
Hey! Hey, no no no no no no no no. No. No. This is the birth story. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And I should have been there. I should have been there to witness this.
Michael
false
3,844
2
5
50
Uh, well, I am. A little. Justifiably. My Halloween is ruined.
Michael
true
53,419
9
3
24
[whispers] Pam! [she pretends to slam a wrench over the tire service guy���s head].
Nellie
false
58,452
9
20
36
Dammit! Dammit, god. [To Pete] Sorry. Yeah I'm fine. I'm fine. I got mad. Cause I don't like losing. I'm just gonna- Sorry I'm mad! I'm mad, I���m really mad. I wanted to win. We were gonna win a lot of money, I was gonna buy you a sweater. It's stupid. Just the whole contest is stupid. That's how it feels.
Erin
false
54,798
9
8
9
Oh, great.
Jim
false
45,243
7
24
8
How would we know that, if you don't...
Gabe
false
31,157
6
2
4
Yeah.
Pam
false
16,775
3
23
61
Thanks for comin' in, Michael.
David
false
51,318
8
19
36
[sighs]
Andy
false
33,614
6
9
4
That sounds like it was hilarious.
Michael
false
46,536
8
3
30
Give me your job.
Darryl
false
32,278
6
5
7
What do you think?
Andy
false
49,150
8
12
19
Oh.
Robert
false
13,373
3
13
7
I called it myself. I just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.
Andy
false
22,779
5
1
38
Pam, I'd like you to meet Ronnie. We call her Rice-a-Ronnie. She is hilarious. She is wonderful, a beam of light in this dark, dark office. Not really so much. All she does is plop herself down there and answer phones all day.
Michael
false
38,271
6
24
18
Okay. I'm talking to this woman at daycare...
Pam
false
18,190
4
3
9
Yes, please let us know.
Stanley
false
13,280
3
12
33
Mmm-hmm.
Angela
true
51,943
8
21
46
Will you roll those dice with me?
Ryan
false
11,592
3
8
20
This one taken? No. Good.
Jim
false
10,277
3
3
62
Yeah.
Pam
false
22,524
4
14
85
It's a couple streets over.
Meredith
false
13,056
3
11
57
Oh, loves it.
Jim
false
32,728
6
6
15
I'm sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes, dinner.
Michael
false
23,452
5
3
1
My cervix is ripening.
Dwight
false
48,661
8
10
33
I would like another alcohol.
Erin
false
55,892
9
12
7
I don���t.
Jim
false
55,947
9
12
25
Hey, Hon, are you close?
Pam
false
56,135
9
12
50
Pam, I���m not explaining this to you-- Pam, I���m not going over this again.
Jim
false
56,242
9
13
17
Sure, yeah. Do whatever you need to do.
Jim
false
36,518
6
18
29
When I first met you, I had a lot of job offers. And I had an offer from Ivan Schartsky. The Ivan Schartsky. And if I'd assistant managed him -
Dwight
false
15,336
3
19
55
Grab a comet and kiss the moon! Kiss it!
Andy
false
52,729
8
24
33
Yes, as we've discussed-
David
false
20,736
4
9
20
Oh... my apartment's on fire
Jim
false
10,663
3
5
18
It's called bull crap and a client can smell it from a mile away.
Dwight
false
18,052
4
2
62
Can you call us a cab please, I'm gonna [gets water from his clothes on the couch] Oops, sorry!
Dwight
false
46,111
8
2
15
Yeah, how are we supposed to do that? We can���t just press a magic button.
Phyllis
false
37,316
6
21
20
Maybe Michael has a point. I mean, if she was really that upset, she wouldn't still be here.
Pam
false
49,965
8
14
32
[Sighs and grunts] Orientation is over.
Dwight
false