One of the best things about Virtual Reality is that literally anything and everything is possible.  Would you like to go to a world where every tree is a 60-foot penis?  Why not!  How about one where floating vaginas roam the sky and literally everything else is tits?  Sure!  How about one where the floating vaginas have 60 feet, and the tits have dicks for nipples?  Sounds great! ( If anyone wants to go ahead and realise these dreams, be my guest.  I own no patent.)  My point is that when it comes to virtual reality sexual encounters, imagination truly is the limit.  To that effect, this week’s experience in review is the stellar Eva Galaxy Evolution. 

I didn’t call Eva Galaxy Evolution a game (even though I will later on, several times), because as well as being Interactive VR Porn’s number one stockholder in blue hues and sci-fi lighting, EGE is also currently a series of tech demos; albeit ones that show a lot of promise.  It’s one of the most actively developed things I’ve ever supported on Patreon, with two or three updates or posts a week, and patron surveys on what people would like from it.  With that said, it’s time to check it out. 

Jacking in! 

Upon launching the 1.5 build of Eon Genesis Evangelion, you’re placed in a void, with a menu wall in front of you, and two naked ladies with exquisite haircuts standing behind you, performing occasionally-synchronised idle animations.  Between them stands a giant blue tube filled with fluid, the kind of thing inside of which you could expect to find a clone gestating.  You can walk inside of it but there’s not much to see except blue fluid.  I’m… not sure what I expected. 

I turn back to assess my options, and read the artwork in front of me.  I believe that DevRifter – the name behind the game – speaks English as a second language, explaining the English used throughout Eva Galaxy Evolution.  However, unlike Playboy, The Onion, and VRPorn.com; nobody’s here for the articles.  I decide for a more sedated approach than my previous experiences, and decide to just go through the list, starting with “Voice Rrecognision” in the upper left.  I was not ready for what lied before me…

Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind

I find myself in a circular blue room, with a number of notable features.  First off, there are two nearly-identical, large, busty women standing in front of me, staring right at me.  Now, I don’t mean large as in curvy, or plus size, or spherical.  I mean large.  I mean the size of my head is about half the size of hers.  Ditto for her tits.  It’s as if somebody’s taken a regular – if aesthetically perfect – woman, and just.. scaled her up a bit.  It’s like she was supposed to be 5’5″, but God had other plans.  Now, I don’t know about you, but before this experience I’d never stood in front of two gorgeous, naked, Amazonian women before.  It was a bit off putting.  I attempted to interact, but I got nervous and fumbled my words.  Luckily for me, just to my right, were all the words I’d ever need…

Have you ever thought “If only I knew the perfect words to say to a girl, she’d be mine!”?  Well, your days of thinking that exact sentence are over!  Speaking these phrases will result in a seemingly-omnipresent female-sounding robovoice returning your phrase with one of her own.  These can range from “Let’s fuck,”to “Maybe in a future update,” to “I don’t know if Jesus really was the son of God, but I do believe that, if he existed, he was a good man,”.  No, I’m not joking.  Check out a few of my favourite possible phrases to ask:

There are literal hundreds of these.  Just so you’re aware, if you read that picture, within a few short sentences your brain went from conjuring the images of Nazi Germany to penguin rape and back again.  This game is full of surprises.  I’d also like to point out that the second phrase in that picture, the one that’s half cut off, is “What is your favourite anime?”.  I asked this question, and was asked in return:

“What do you think it is?” 

Oh, Seemingly-Omnipresent Female-Sounding Robovoice, you big tease.  I answered “Hamtaro,” but she didn’t respond to that, which I assumed meant she was so offended by my suggestion that she was giving me the silent treatment.  However, that afforded me the time to get to the bottom of the big list of phrases. 

“What happened to humanity”?  Ominous.  Is there something DevRifter knows that we don’t?  Maybe.  My answer is maybe we all started fucking machines and virtual women.  Speaking of which…

“I’m Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel.” 

This is only one half of the room.  I turn around to find a few curious symbols that light up when I look at them, and some floating “R B G” letters that do the same.  When selected, the symbols start some music playing, and the letters add some ambient and stage lighting in the respective colour.  I start some jams playing and turn on all the lights, because if we’re gonna party, let’s party. 

The “Slow Motion Effect” button does exactly what you think it does.  It’s a great button, but hard to showcase in screenshots.  So, upon starting the tunes, I realize that the Amazonian twins have started to dance – albeit semi-enthusiastically.  It’s like their bodies are in it, but their hearts aren’t.  Maybe it’s because their facial expressions never change and they always lock eye contact with you and don’t blink.  Maybe it’s because they have bodies and not hearts.  Either way, they weren’t the only things to start moving, and I’m not just talking about my penis. 

I’m talking about a penis, just not mine.  Oh, also, it’s a GIANT ALIEN PENIS MONSTER.  Remember that thing I said about “anything [being] possible,”?  Well, yeah.  Alien penis monsters are possible.  He rose when the music kicked in, and gave me a wink.  He’s a pretty cool guy.  We’re bros.  However, I’d realized it was time to leave since I’d exhausted all the menu options in the room.  Also, just like all the worst strip clubs; you can’t touch the women, they deflect when you ask them about anime, and there’s a big dick hanging around.  Yeah, it’s time to go. 

Space(ship), The Final Frontier

I head back to the menu, and click the next button across: “Spaceship”.  What in Science’s name could this entail?  I find myself whisked away to a long corridor, with a few rooms shooting off either side from where I am.  I take in my surroundings for a while, before I realise that I’m not alone…

Though I might as well be.  Two women, both naked, one bald, one with yet another impeccable haircut, walk towards me from one side of the spaceship.  I gird my loins both literally and metaphorically, and prepare for.. nothing.  The women walk straight past me, causing my loins to un-gird themselves dis-satisfactorily.  I assume that, maybe if I follow them, I could be lead to a whole gaggle of virtual women!  A virtual, virtual harem, if you will!  I certainly would, so I did.  You move around the spaceship using a particularly well-implemented Vive-wand teleportation system, complete with tilt-based “English” on the arc.  Seriously, I could write a whole article on the teleportation arc.  If I find out that it’s part of Unity and not just EGE, I’ll be simultaneously disappointed and just regular appointed.  Anyway, let’s check out the spaceship. 

I follow the rude women to a room full of blue tubes similar to the one I saw before, but with more… panels.  I gotta be honest, I’m impressed with the amount of detail that’s gone into this room, and the spaceship in general.  The way this game seems like it could pan out, it could turn into a space game that just happens to have naked dancing women and penis monsters.  You know what?  I’m okay with that.  There’s a very clear line between normal games and sex/porn games.  Let’s blur the line a little!  I don’t want to see two random yahoos fucking!  I want to know why they’re fucking!  I want to know that there’s been sexual tension between them since they both started at the Cock-Monster Hunting Academy of Neo Melbourne!  Uh.. Back to the point, there’s nothing here except tubes.  I decide to check out the rest of the spaceship. 

I find what look like personnel lodgings, despite being devoid of actual lodgings.  Room A183 holds a menu leading to more experiences.  Room A184 is empty.  Room A185, which I can assure you does exist, is locked.  Regardless, this spaceship is well built, if a little sparse in features. ( Read: very sparse in features.  There’s nothing to do.)  It has a window up the front, with a star field, though.  So there’s that.  I head into Room A183 and make a selection. 

The Lady of the Lake

I find myself transported to a mystical-seeming lake, where some very inspirational music begins to play.  It’s then that I notice what stands before me.  Sorry, not stands.  Towers. 

In front of me is a 4-storey-tall behemoth of a woman.  I reflexively do my best to appear non-threatening.  Truth told, this is the last thing I expected to see tonight.  An alien penis monster, by contrast, is the first thing I have on my “Weird Sci-Fi Porn” checklist.  Guess I’ll have to put “Giant Woman” on there too.  She notices my demeanor and kneels down to get on my level, though it’s not nearly low enough.  She gets down on all fours, and her gaze drifts elsewhere.  It’s now that I realize that her hand has moved between her legs.  Well, when in Rome…

Honestly, I would be more aroused if the music weren’t so damn uplifting.  I can’t focus on the giantess pleasuring herself in front of me because I can’t help but feel like I’m triumphing against insurmountable odds.  Seriously, if you’re ever in a slump, download this game and check out this scene.  I don’t even think you need a headset, just do it.  It’ll give you the boost you need.  Then you’ll turn back to your gargantuan companion to see her licking her juices from her fingers. 

Sadly, this brings us to the end of our rundown for this week. 

Join us next week to see the thrilling conclusion, including some actual sex this time, a walk through the uncanny valley, another inspirational – and potentially jaw-dropping – scene, and a physics-heavy dance from what looks like a Cortana made out of ballistics gel.  You gotta see it to believe it. 

If you’re considering supporting Eva Galaxy Evolution on Patreon, please do remember that it’s a work in progress and is currently little more than a collection of scenes.  Potential is there, however, as evidenced by the quality of the models, textures, animation, and scenery.  My full thoughts on the experience will be in next week’s rundown. 

The Patreon for DevRifter’s Eva Galaxy Evolution can be found here. 

Thanks for reading.