"[ Steve Wiinwood:" "Gimme Some Lovin]" "[engine rewing]" "Wha..." "Ho!" "." "[ yelling] Whoa!" " Oh!" " Man, oh, man!" " I almost lost it back there." " I didn't know what was going on." " Oh!" "[ groaning] Oh..." "Mmm." "  Oh, hey, babe?" " Doug?" "  Huh?" " Can you take Billy to School?" " My day kinda got away from me." " Yeah, yeah." " unless there'S an emergency at the office." " Oh, was there an emergency?" " You know, dentists do have emergencies." "  Oh." "  sometimes." "  Ah." "  We are doctors." " Hey, no, no!" " Not until your LDL is under a hundred." " Well, Mr. Putnam, any plans this Summer?" " [ garbled mumbling]" " What'S..." "What'd he Say?" " He Said we're taking an African Safari." " Africa." " I don't think I've been out of Cincinnati in 1 2 years." " You owe it to yourself to get out and enjoy life." " You can't just live to work!" " You need excitement!" " [ yells] - [yelpS]" "Come on." " Don't be a baby, it'S a d..." "Oh, the Suction, the extractor." " Hold on." " That'll Suck the spots off a Dalmatian." " Help me, help me, all right." " Know what they call this?" " One powerful little Sucker." " That'S the brand name." " It'S unbelievable." " See?" " I have plenty of excitement in my life, mrs." " Putnam." " [ beeps] - [woman] Bobby?" " Karen, I asked for no disturbances." " I need to talk to you, Bobby." " T echnically, I'm at the office right now." " And technically, you're in our guest bedroom." " Look, I know baby." " I..." "I just gotta finish this chapter." " I know." " But you know what?" " I have to go to a job that actually makes us money." " And I'm late, So walk me to the door." " Come on, Bobby." " I gotta get to work." " OK?" " Oh, Wait." " I forgot my cell phone." "  Stay." "  Hey, Daddy!" " listen!" " [ high-pitch Scream]" " Whoa." " Hey, no." " inside voice." "  Inside voice." "  Would you Shut up!" " God, it'S like living with a car alarm that shits." " Whoa." " What are you doing trying to leave the house wearing that?" "  You look like a ESkimo hooker." "  Dad, that'S the point." "  You wanna look like a hooker?" "  Dad, you are So lame." " It'S hard for kids to respect a man that don't do none of the providing." " In my day the lady Stayed home." " Not the lazy man." " In your day the men had pyramids to build." " How old is that?" " I'm in complete control of my finan..." " [screams]" " No." " hush." " Come." " How come She gets quiet when you Say Something to her?" " because you, my darling, have no control." " Baby, I know your how-to book iS gonna be a huge success Someday." " But do you remember what day today iS?" " No." " We had agreed that you would take a year off to pursue this little fantasy of yours, but that year iS up." " Now you and I had a deal." " Come on, baby." " stressful cases." " clients under duress." " I'm tired of dealing with Shit all the time." " besides, how do we even know they'll take me back?" "  because I called." "  You're serious?" " The Firm iS ecstatic to have you back, Bobby." " You got a nine o'clock appointment." "  You call The Firm?" "  Yeah, men'S room." " Some truck'S driver must've crap an entire cow in there, man." " Good luck." " I didn't want to give him the key, but I didn't trust my instincts." "[ Sighing]" "I Saw my father Shot." " I never cry until today." " I got robbed yesterday, and I know now, your job is the bad one." " Yeah." "[ sighs]" " [computer] Dudley?" "  yes, good morning, Mac." " How'S it going?" "[ Mac] It is now nine o'clock AM." " thanks, Mac." " Open Internet, please." "  Command unknown." "  Open Internet." " Internet open." " I think I have to research alternative specs." "  Searching alternative sex." "  What?" " No." " I didn't Say that." "[ woman] Granny Love dot org." "  Want granny to take her teeth out?" "  Shut down." " [ man] Barnyard love." " [ animals neighing]" " I'm Sorry." " [ man] Enjoy the animals." "[ woman] Granny's gonna spank your bottom." "[ man] All kinds of fun." " [ roosters crowing]" " I can fix that." "[ computer Shorting, whirring]" " Or not." " [ cat meows]" "Well, iCat." "  looks like it'S you and me." " [ hiSSeS]" "OK, Larry, So what are you trying to tell me?" "  You're broke." "  Well, how does that work?" " You've Spent everything you had, then Spent Some more." " this is right here." " Nothing." " Zero." " You know what?" " Maybe it'S time for my wife, the "Supermodel,"" "to Start paying for Some things for once in her life." " You're getting divorced." "  Why would She pay?" " [ chuckles] Divorced, going broke..." "You think I'm falling apart, don't you?" " Not going broke." " You are broke." "  OK." "  The door'S behind you." " No, no, you listen to me, Toby." " You're not gonna push me around." " We agreed on a price, and that'S the price I'm gonna pay." " You got it?" " And if you don't like it, just walk away." " I'll tell you this, you can kiss your business goodbye." " If you Screw with Woody stevens, you go down hard." " You got that?" " What?" " No, money is not a problem." " Don't insult me." " Don't insult me!" " Money'S never a problem!" " You just have to honor the correct price, you got that?" "  What?" " [ caller hangs up]" "Well, then go home, Toby!" " You make me Sick!" " I can't do this many leaves for ten bucks." " It'll take hours!" " You Should've thought of that before you put that flyer on the telephone pole Saying, "Any yard for ten bucks."" " Toby." " Come on, let'S talk." " Let'S talk like men, OK?" "[ sighs] What'S the problem?" "  Money'S the problem!" "  Grow up, Toby!" "  I hate you." "  I hate you!" " Moron!" " [ Doug] Kel, it'S me." " [ Kelly] I'll be right down." " Hey, Bill." " You wanna Shoot Some hoops or Something before I take my ride?" "  No, thanks." " [ footsteps approaching]" " Uh..." " Hey, babe." " How was work?" "  Mmm." "  Great." " [ phone ringing] - [Kelly] Good." " Hello?" " Cool." " I'll ask right now." "  Can I play ball with Stew and his dad?" "  Of course you can." "[ Billy] Cool." " thanks." " Here, dude, I'll be right over, OK?" " All right, bye." " I just asked you if you wanted to play ball." " You Said no." " Well, yeah." " I mean, Stew'S dad is awesome." " He can totally dunk." " The hoop'S what?" " Eight feet above the ground?" "  Anybody could dunk that." "  Well." " See you guys later." " Doug, I am So Sorry." " You know, I had no idea." " It waSn't your fault." " You didn't know." " What do I gotta do to relate to my Son?" "[  Foghat:" "Slow Ride]" " Hey, guys?" " [ engine rewing]" "does this Sound better?" " Whoa!" " I'm OK!" " I hit my butt." "[  George Thorogood:" "Who Do You Love]" "[indistinct chatter]" "thanks, Woody." " I feel really Safe with you." " I noticed." " If you ever lay your head on my back again when you're riding bitch, I'll throw you in the traffic." " I..." "I waS just trying to keep the wind off my face." "  I felt you Smell my neck." "  guys, could we?" " Did you Smell that man'S neck?" " his cologne iS fantastic." " It'S muSky with an oaky finish." " Like a lawyer cowboy." " Lawyer cowboy?" " Wild hogs aren't welcome here." "  Hey, Paul." "  How you doing?" "  Hey, guys." "  Hey, Paul." " Hey, Woody." " just waiting on those K-oneS to do your tax returns." " We also need to talk about that offshore incorporating thing." " Yeah, well, I'll give you a call." " OK." " I'll Set up lunch." " Or we could do a day at the Spa." " Now that was fun." "  Huh?" "  I don't remember that." "  Got your wine cooler, Dad." "  Oh, Sweet." " thanks." "  I'll See you hogs in Hell!" "  We'll make it." "  That was Scary, Paul." " Good work." "  See you later." "  I'm not coming here anymore." "  But this is a Wild Hog tradition." " We're not Wild hogs, we're like wild lambs." " It'S just a patch that Doug'S wife made." " We Sewed it on our jackets So She wouldn't feel bad." "  lS that a fact?" " [ Woody] Yeah." " Well, what has your wife ever made us?" "  Hard." " [ all laugh]" " Hey." "  That'S true, She is really." "  All I'm Saying is She'S good-looking." "  Show Some respect." " Come on." " That'S what your wife does." " She'S a swimsuit model." " And it..." "And a good one, I mean." " She is hot." " OK, here'S a question:" "What are we doing here?" " Having..." "Having beers like we do every week." " No, no, no." " Bigger picture." " Life, man." " What do we have to look fordard to?" " Riding in formation in the Labor Day Parade?" "  lS that it?" "  I'm looking fordard to the parade." " I got TootSie rolls I can throw to the kids." " [ groans]" " TootSie rolls that he can throw to the kids." " Man, you can't even put on your turn Signal without busting your ass." " Look, let'S put Some real miles on those bikes." "  Road trip?" "  Yeah." " A road trip." " just us." " No rules." " No TootSie rolls." " just us, the wind, the road to the Pacific." " We camp out for a week, whenever we want, wherever we want." " I mean, that'S freedom, man." " AS long as we Stop at Some Wi-Fi hotspots," " count me in." " Yep." "  You're in?" " All right." " Eh, I can't. [ Stuttering] I can't get the time off of work." "  You know, I'm a doctor." "  You're a dentist." " Look, in college..." "Man, he'd have been packed already." " I'm not kidding." " You know, and on a bike, he'S fearless." "  He was fearless." "  Yeah, well, that was..." "this guy, we called him "The Golden Knight."  Where'S that guy?" "  I wanna See that guy again." "  That guy'S married now." " And that guy, uh, used to..." "used to get high a lot." "  What'S Claudia gonna Say about this?" "  Nothing." " She'S in the bahamas doing Some swimsuit thing for Sports Illustrated." " Look, if not now, when?" " Y'all know me." " I'm the first to get buck wild." "  But..." " No, you're afraid to ask your wife." " True." " True." " I Said true!" " Come on!" " this is it, on the edge, we're living!" " You know, St. Elmo's Fire," "The Wild Bunch." " You know, Deliverance!" "[ all] Deliverance?" "  Uh..." "You know..." " Deliverance?" "[ Bobby] Deliverance?" " Hey, dudes." " We're gonna ride as an American flag in the parade this year." " Each guy in our chapter iS a Star." "  A what?" "  I'm gonna get Sick." "  Who'S gonna do the stripes?" " [ man] Lyman Middle School majoretteS." "Oh, boy." " Hey, we're really living now, huh?" " I hope we don't get hit by a Stray baton." " You know what?" " I'm outta here." " I'm going with you guys or without you guys." " You know what I mean?" " Take your Smelly tees." " Good night." "  I Said I'd go." " [ Doug] Come on back." " Hmm." " Oh, I almost forgot." " We're also gonna be wearing these black ribbons in honor of Tom PeterSon." " He died last week..." "Boom!" " just like that." " Anyway, he'll be missed." " Tom PeterSon." " Tom PeterSon." " Do you remember that guy?" " He was our age." "  Mom, want Some gravy?" "  Oh, yeah, thanks." "  So how was your ride?" "  I don't know." " All Woody did was yap about taking Some Stupid croSS-country trip." " Do you wanna talk about going on this ride?" " I can't go on a croSS-country trip." " I can't walk away from work anytime I want." " Yeah, you know what, you're right." " It'S just as well." " Road trips probably aren't the best thing for a guy your age." " I mean, it'S gotta be really inconvenient." " Bunch of middle-aged guys having to get off their bikes every 20 minutes to take a pee..." "My age?" " What kind of crack iS that?" " What'S wrong with my age?" " She talks like I'm not right here, you know?" " Doug, I'm joking." " No, you know what I think?" " I think you think I'm a boring guy." " I'm old and I'm boring now." " I've become lame." " I think everybody thinks that at this table." " I'm lame!" "  Admit it!" " I'm lame!" "  Doug, calm down." " It'S OK." " No, I'm not gonna calm down." " You know what I think?" "" Calming down" means another word for "lame!"" " I'm not lame!" " You know, I'm wild and free!" " Wild and free and a man, yeah!" " A man that likes to eat meat." " I'm tired of not eating meat!" " Meat'S good!" " Good for men." " And potatoes." " I like potatoes and I like gravy on my potatoes." " Yum, yum!" "[ chuckling, gulping, gasping]" " Don't make Sudden moves." "  I'm living wild, living good." "  It feels good, baby!" "  Whoa, no, Dad." " Your LDL." " Butt out, LDLS!" " I miss butter." " You know why I miss butter?" " The French think butter iS just like cheese, they eat it..." "They eat it just like this." " Right off the Stick." " And the French, who've never won a major battle, they know how to eat!" "  And I..." " [grumbling]" "I am living, and it feels great!" "[ sighs]" "Mmm..." "Hmm. [ groaning, belching]" " Doug, are you OK?" " [ continues belching]" " [mumbling]" " Doug, you OK?" "  Yeah!" " I'm all right..." " [Billy] Dad, just Spit it out!" " Spit it out!" " Come on." "  Breathe, breathe!" "  I am not all right." "  Well, Mr. MadSen..." " Dr. MadSen..." "Oh, really?" " Great." " Then I can put this a little more Simply." " You had a catecholamine-induced, Super-ventricular tachyarrhythmia." " I'm actually a dentist, So I have no idea what you just Said." "  StreSS-induced panic attack." "  I'm not stressed." " Your body says otherdiSe." " We See this a lot in middle-aged men." "  I'm not middle-aged." "  We hear that a lot, too." " How 'bout we get you out of here in a few minutes?" "[ woman] Dr. Wesley to imaging." " Dr. Wesley to imaging." " I am a middle-aged man, aren't I?" "  Only mathematically." " [ sighs]" "I think you need to let off Some Steam." " You used to love to travel." " No, Doug, you used to play hockey." " You were crazy." " You don't even Sing annoying eighties music." " Well, it'S different now." " You know, I had to Slow down for... for you and Billy." " Oh, So I'm the one who did this to you?" " I'm in a hospital." " It'S easier for me now to blame other people for my problems." " W..." "I think you Should go on that trip." " If you don't, I will fire up the hog and go with the guys." "  Woody doeSn't have a plan." "  Yeah, but he never does." " It'S like taking a trip to nowhere." " Maybe that'S exactly what you need." " What up?" " Hey." " You're late!" " supposed to be here at eight-thirty, guys." " Hey, look here, if Karen calls," "OK, I'm at a toilet bowl Seminar in Cleveland." " [ all laugh]" " Hey, no, I'm serious." " I need y'all to cover for me." " Yeah, Sure." " What?" " What?" " What are you looking at?" " I got a tat." "  Come on!" "  Hell just froze over." "  Let'S See it!" "  I'm a biker, dude!" " I got a tat!" " [ Woody] lt'S an apple." "  Uh, Dudley, you know..." "I know:" "Trademarked." " But what are they gonna Say?" " It'S in my Skin, bitch!" "[ laughs] [cackling]" " You guys aren't gonna wear helmets?" "  I don't wanna wear a helmet." " Maybe I don't want anything between me and the road." " You will if your head falls on it." " Woody, 62 percent of motorcycle fatalities can be prevented with" " the use of an approved DOT helmet." "  That right?" " What'S that leather condom gonna protect you from?" " Snoopy?" " The Red Baron?" " How about dating?" "  You told me you liked it." "  guys, hey!" " There are no rules on this trip." " We're just heading for the Pacific," " and there ain't no plans." "  Well, we got a week to do this, right?" " I figure we gotta be in Illinois by tonight." " Well, the way I mapped it out, we Should be 1 00 miles" " past St. louis by Sundown." " [ Doug] Good." " What did I Say?" " I Said it'S the open road, OK?" "  Who knows where we're gonna be?" "  I know where we're gonna be." " Dudley hooked me up." " Check out this thing." " It'S a GPS in my phone now." "  Look at that." "  No kidding?" " Let me See." "  Cool!" "  What are you..." " Hey, what'd you do that for?" "!" "  For the good of the trip." " You don't need a GPS to discover America." " You need a bike and you need the road, OK?" " Freedom." " And if we have an emergency, I got a cell phone." "  No you don't." "  What?" " Hey!" " Why did you do that?" " I got all my data in there!" " Well, how does that feel, Woody?" " feels good." " Whoo!" " It's my prerogative!" " Mm-mm-mm!" "  No cell phones!" "  Wait a minute." "  Come on, get rid of it." "  No, Doug, he'S right." "  No, no, wait, wait..." " Whoo!" " Yeah!" " Yeah, Wild hogs, baby!" " Wild hogs!" " You did that So Karen wouldn't call you." "  Exactly." "  Come on, give it up." " So we're not gonna discuss this?" " We're not gonna think about this?" " No, don't!" "  We need one phone." "  Freedom, baby!" " [ tires Squealing]" " We gotta go." " [ Doug] Go, go!" " [ man] Come back here!" "[  Grand Funk Railroad:" "Walk Like A Man (You Can Call Me Your Man)]" "[ Grand Funk Railroad:" "Walk Like A Man (You Can Call Me Your Man)]" " Hey!" "  Whoo!" " Where're you guys headed?" " I love you!" " You're hot!" "[ thundering]" " losers." "  Look at these guys." " Hey." " [ girls laughing]" " You guys wanna a ride?" " Well, all right." " Sleeping bags are all Set." " Bobby, I got two words for you:" "Foot pump." " Woody, I got four words for you:" "Got a cheap-aSS wife." "[ all chuckle]" "Hey, guys, this is poop." " So don't eat it." "  Oh, God." "  excuse me, Mr. Hard Drive, you're supposed to bury it, not put it in a bag." " this is plastic, I'm not gonna put it in the earth." " I'll find a garbage can tomorrow." " So you gonna Sit right next to me with that doo-doo." " Hey, come on." " DoeSn't get any better than this." " Sitting around a fire, chilling with your best friends, relaxing, enjoying..." "Sorry, you gotta..." "You gotta bury that thing." "  OtherdiSe I'll vomit in your lap." "... each other'S company." " I'll hang it from a tree So the bears don't get it." "  No, don't hang it in a tree!" "  Why not?" "  'cause bears don't eat Shit!" " [ laughing]" "What'S up?" " Ever wake up and wonder what happened to your life?" " I really had Such great plans." " My life and my work would be an adventure." " You know?" " All of a Sudden I'm a Suburban dentist." " Hey, look, Doug, I feel your pain, man." " Look, I Swore I would never return to a job where I had to wear condoms on my shoes." "  You're Still at The Firm?" "  Yeah." " And I get yelled at by an ungrateful wife all night." "  The whole thing has made me..." " A wimp." " I waS gonna Say miserable." " But you think I'm a wimp?" " No, I thought you were gonna Say wimp, So I just filled it in." " You're a wimp, Bobby." " I..." "I'll Say it." " I mean, you're afraid of women." " It'S kind of embarrassing." "  I'm afraid of women." "  You're afraid to talk to women." " Bobby'S afraid they'll kill him" " in his Sleep." " [ all laugh]" "Wow." " Now I'm really afraid of women." " At least one of us iS living the fairy tale." " Right, Woody?" " Plenty of money, travel all the time, you got the swimsuit model for a wife." " At least one of us has got it made." " Yeah, Well, one man'S fairy tale is another man'S nightmare." " You think that the marshmallow'S done, Doug?" " Oh." " Hey, look at that." " Anybody want the first marshmallow?" " Starting to look like Dudley'S helmet." " All right." "  I think I'm halfway there." "  Oh, in only one hour?" " Hey, Bobby, you Sure you wanna do that?" " You could use one of the Spare bags we got in the... tent!" " Hey, Dudley, go get the water jug out of my bag!" " I want..." "Kick, kick, kick, kick!" " Dirt!" " I got it!" " That'S camp-Stove fuel!" "[ all exclaiming]" "No!" " this is the wrong jug!" " You think?" " Aw, God." " this is supposed to be flame-retardant." " I guess it waSn't "Dudley-retardant."" " All my drawers are burning." " Oh, perfect!" "[ Snoring]" "[muttering]" "What are you doing?" " Huh?" " Keeping my face out of the wind." "[ groans] Hey." " Oh." " Boy, my ass is Sore." "[ Dudley] Mine, too." " It'S Woody'S fault for riding us So hard yesterday." " The human body waSn't made to Straddle Something that big for that long." " Well, you know, it'S gonna hurt a little bit, and that'S part of the experience." " That'S why we didn't bring our wives." "[ Bobby] What the..." "What the hell?" " Somebody wanna explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt when I got Sore jaws from three hours of blowing..." "please, please for the love of God, finish your Sentence." " Let'S See, what, uh..." "What exactly do we have here?" " We've got one, two, three men..." "in a bed..." "Spooning?" " this is not what it looks like." " this is a, uh..." "We, um..." "What is it, Woody?" " Camping." " I'll tell you just exactly what it iS there, Poindexter." " It iS four counts of indecent exposure, two counts of lewd, lascivious behavior, and one count..." "of pure jealousy." "  Huh?" "  How you doing?" "  Hey, look." "  Whoa, we're not..." "thanks for waking us up, Officer." "  Oh, it waS actually..." " I get it." " You gotta get going." " That'S terrific." " Five'S a crowd?" " IS that what I'm gleaning here?" " Yeah, five'S... uneven number." " Figure it out." " You guys can't See it, can you?" " You're too close." " You don't realize how lucky you are to have each other." " Oh, daddy..." "Damn lucky." "  I've always felt So." "  I know what you've felt." " I have too." "  You wearing pants?" "  No." " Would you please put Some pants on, for God'S Sake!" "[ Doug] Dudley!" " What a nice guy." " Mmm." " Oh, yeah." " Whoo!" " Anybody else gotta take a leak?" "  No." "  No." " Hey, guys, last Stop for quite a while." " I gotta pee again now." "[ rewing engines approaching]" "Wow." " I can Smell them from here." " Gentlemen, that'S the real deal." "[  Lynyrd Skynyrd:" "Call Me the Breeze]" "[grunting]" "Ahh." " What?" " [ both laughing] - [Bobby] Now, that'S "wild!"" "[ both grunting]" "[grumbling]" "Oh!" " Whoa, Stop it!" "  Biker in trouble!" " [ Squawking]" "[spits]" "this is awesome!" " thanks for waiting for me, jerks!" " Yoo-hoo!" " Oh, it'S..." "Whoa, it'S cold!" "  What?" "  Why are you naked?" " We're Swimming." " Did you guys keep your SkiwieS on?" " There could be Snapping turtles or Something." " I kept mine on 'cause I didn't want it to get dark in here." " I don't know, I thought we were doing this wild and free thing." " Yeah, well..." "More like, old and lame, iSn't it?" " The high guy would've just ripped 'em right off, you know, back in the... back in the day." "  But the day'S today, iSn't it?" "  this iSn't necessary." "[ chuckles] Yeah, come on." " Come on!" " Huh?" " Now you See what you Started?" " You even got Doug out of his drawers." " What the hell, you know what I mean?" " But everybody keep their distance." " I don't want the whole size thing to ruin our friendship." " Launching mine." " Over your head, baby." " Whew." " You guys are nuts." " Come on!" " Huh?" "[ laughs] Fine." " I will get naked with my gay friends, and if any of them look at my junk, I will kill them." " Gentlemen, these are the good old days." "[ all laugh] [all groan] [all laugh]" " [car horn honking] - [children Screaming] [man] Come on, kids!" " Come on!" "  Whoo!" "  Oh, no." " last one in smells like Uncle Eddie!" " Aw, hell no." " Hope you guys don't mind company." " Minivan was getting crowded." " There'S a much Shallower creek for kids just up the canyon a bit." " Oh, no, my kids like to dive." " Marky, Show this guy your dive." " If you put your arms out, he does a backflip right into them." " No!" " Don't do that, it'S not a good idea." " Oh, hello." " You gentlemen like potato Salad?" " We've got extra." " But, uh, you might wanna eat that way over there." " Uh, less ants and snakes." " The kids are coming." " The kids are coming." " No..." "Oh, whoa." " guys, you can't Swim here." " CrawfiSh, big crawfish, they're Snapping..." "Ow!" " CrawfiSh!" "[ shouts]" "Lemme See if I can catch one!" " You See?" " He'S looking for crawfish!" "  I told you!" "  He'S gonna find a couple!" " Where is he?" " Marky!" " Cooper!" " Ava!" " Let'S, uh, let'S get out of the water." "  Find a new Spot." "  Why, Hugh?" " this is Such a nice..." "Oh, my God." "  I didn't wanna do this." "  Out of the water!" " Now!" " kids, listen to your dad." "  No!" "  Aw!" " We just got here!" " Get out of the damn water, now!" " Run!" " Run!" " Run!" " Go!" " Take it." " Take it!" " What'S wrong with these people?" " Come on, go!" " I'll bet her potato Salad was really good." "  Maybe we Should go." "  Yeah, let'S go." " Why?" " They ain't coming back!" "[ whistling] fellas!" " Forget about them!" " More room for us, huh?" " Come on!" "[ chortling]" "You like what you See?" " Huh?" " Let'S get involved!" " Whoo!" " Now that'S what I'm talking about!" " Whoo!" " I Saw your bikes over there and I..." "Chicken fights, fellas?" " No?" " Plan B..." " Marco..." " Polo." " Mar..." "Marco... [laughing] Marco!" "[  Jett:" "Get Me Outta Here]" "Thank you So much!" " And, uh, I left a window open, all right?" " Oh, yeah." " Now, this is a biker bar." " I'm buying, let'S go." " I hope they have bran muffins." " I'm a little bound up." " [ thudding]" " My damn leg'S asleep!" " Oh, it'S got an emblem, too." " An FLH emblem." " That is rare, man." " Rare." "  Can you See this?" "  Oh, man." " That'S beautiful." "  What'S wrong with you?" "  My legs are asleep." "[ rock music] [music dwindleS to a Stop]" " How 'bout this one?" " [ music starts up]" " Yeah." " [ indistinct chatter]" "You guys want beers?" " I gotta find that guy with the '55 bike, man." " It iS beautiful." " Nice tat." " Where'd you get it?" " Leavenworth." " You?" " Meadow hills Galleria." " I don't think I've ever Seen you guys around here before." " What'S your, uh..." " Hey, hey, hey, hey." "  Wild hogs." " That the name of your little gang?" " Not a gang." " We're friends riding from Cincinnati to the coast." " Hey, man." " We in your seats?" "  No." "  Nah, 'cause we could just..." "No." " No, no, n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no." "... we'll roll out." "  No, n-n-no." " No." " I insist." " Sit." "  Sit?" "  Sit." " I insist." " I think I'm gonna join you fellas." " Actually, we have a..." "[clears throat] [man] Yeah, let'S join them." " Make ourselves Some nice new little friends." "  Nice patch." "  Yeah." " Did you get your grandmother to needlepoint that for you?" " Well, what'S... what'S going on with you there, uh, CochiSe?" " What'S your Story?" " Wh..." "What is that supposed to be?" " IS he blind?" " He waSn't when he walked in here." " Hey!" " I'm talking to you!" "  You hear me?" "  He can hear fine." " Look, we're..." "We don't want any trouble." "[ chuckling] I do." " Actually, that'S what I'm looking fordard to the most." "[ chuckling]" "That'S what he'S looking fordard to!" " [ cackling]" " I heard him Say that." " I heard him." " Shut up." " All right." " You're looking for trouble?" " You gotta be careful about Bobby here." " his temper'S like a Roman candle." " Man..." "That'S a damn lie!" " On the other hand, Woody over here, you get him mad, people get broke." " Doug makes kids cry." "  What?" "  Yeah." " You make kids cry." " You made my child cry." " Your kid was crying before She got to me." " Yeah." " But I asked you to give her a lollipop." " Be..." " It calms her down." "  You can't give a lolli..." " All right, Shut up!" "  You know what?" " I think we better get out of here." " No." " We'll get out of here at Sundown." " After we've had our beverage." " Sundown, hoss?" " What?" " these are on me." " You got the mocha lattes yesterday." "  Ah..." " Hey, brother." " [ chortling] Another Wild Hog!" "  Yep." " Yep-er-oonie." " That'S our gang." " Hey, uh, who owns that '48 Panhead outside?" " Uh, that'S my '48." " Sweet ride." " And I'm Sick of it." " How 'bout a trade there, brother?" "  Dudley." " Dudley, Dudley." "  Oh." " I wish." " I'm just on a sportster." " Worth half of what yours iS." "A SportSter?" " I grew up on a sportster!" " I've been wanting another SportSter!" " Oh?" " No, no, no." " It'S even better than that." " In the gas tank iS one of my shoelaces." " I dropped it in there when I waS trying to get my calculator watch out." "  Dudley?" "  Dudley." " Dudley..." "You got a deal." "  seriously?" " You're serious?" "  Think." " He'S not gonna trade the bike." " Dudley, I wanna See what you look like on that." "  You're on." " [ bikers hooting]" "[Doug] Ah!" " Dudley!" " Dudley, no." " No, wait a minute." "[ Dudley] We gotta trade..." "Yo, check this out." " does anybody else get that "pre-rape" feeling?" " I do. [ chuckles]" "Oh, oh, this is great!" " No, no, no, no, no, no." " this is Joker'S Panhead." " I thought we were talking about this one." " Hey, your Panhead iS over here." " Oh." " I waS talking about..." "Nah, no, no, no, no." " I got a better one for you." " It'S right over here." " The red one, the Panhead." "  Where?" "  Right there." " That'S a Panhead." " There're no other PanheadS." " That?" "  Yeah." " That'S a pile of junk." " Yeah." " That'S your pile of junk." "  this guy'S joking you." "  You wanna know the joke?" " The joke iS Suburban assholes who buy leather outfits who think they're bikers." " And it'S a joke that I'm damn Sick of." " You wanna know who a real biker is?" " Damien Blade." " He founded the Del FuegoS and he built this bar for real bikers, not this!" " Hey, we have a right to be bikers." " You don't have any rights." " Shut up!" " I knew you assholes the minute I laid eyes on you." " Look at the four of you!" "  You don't know us." "  You don't think I know you?" " What?" " You're probably a..." "a podiatrist or a ear-noSe-and-throat specialist." "  I wish." "  OrthodontiSt?" " Oh." " close enough." " And you, Bobby, guaranteed you're henpecked." "  Right?" " Your wife wears the pants." "  You know my wife?" " And you, you anal-retentive wimp, guarantee you bag your own Shit." " Wow, you're good." "  What color am I thinking of?" "  Shut up." " You're the biggest poser of them all, aren't you, Squinty?" " Go home." " just go home." " Go home." " You couldn't handle this freedom anyhow." " Get out of here." " Go back to your Safe little lives." " Let'S get our bikes." " We'll get out of here." " You're not listening." " I'm taking your friend'S bike and you guys are gonna hit the road and go back to wherever the hell it iS that you came from." " understand?" " We're gonna have to work Something out." " All right." " Let'S work Something out." "[  John Fogerty:" "Keep on Chooglin]" "Hey!" " What'S going on?" " Something break?" "  What'S up, man?" " What'S up?" "  this is bullshit, man." " We Should go back there and get Dudley'S bike." " That'S why we're Stopping?" " What are you, nuts?" " We're gonna call the police." " I gotta borrow Somebody'S cell phone." " einstein had us throw 'em away, remember?" " Hey, look, man, damn the bike." " He'S gonna have to roll with that little Sidecar." "  Right." "  Let'S get up outta here, man." " Come on." " The trip is over 'cause Some tattooed bullies pushed us around?" "[ both] Yeah." " I go where you go." " Good." " See?" " He'S got balls." " No." " I mean my Sidecar'S attached to your bike." " I'd rather turn back." " But, honestly, how far could I roll?" " I'm not gonna let this happen." " I Say we go back and we get his bike." "  You?" "  Yeah." " Who died and elected you pope?" " this iSn't about Dudley, this is about you." " You, you." " All through high School it'S always about you," " and I am Sick of it!" "  Oh, Screw you." " It'S not my fault you hate your life." "  I love my life." " Why do you...?" "  Let me tell you Something!" " this trip'S supposed to be about adventure!" " But no." " You're too busy dragging your baggage to let that happen." " Well, thank you, Dr. Freud." " Look, I'm not going back to get that bike to satisfy your bruised ego." " Are you guys with me?" "  Oh, I'm with you." "  Yeah, I agree." " There you go, Woody." " We're not going back there with you." "[ Dudley] Should we go after him?" "[ Doug sighs] Probably." "  Are we going to?" " [ both] Nope." "[ bikers cheering]" "[chattering indiStinctly]" "[ Bon Jovi:" "Wanted Dead or Alive]" "Come after us now, assholes." "[ motorcycle approaching]" " I'll be a Son of a gun." "  Oh, Snap!" " You did it!" " You got her back!" "  Woo-hoo!" "  Ha-ha!" " Who'S your daddy?" "!" "  You are my daddy!" "  Yeah, that'S right, baby." " Aw, man!" "  Thank you!" "  How'd you do it?" " OK, they were totally pissed off." " So I take a new tact." " Reality." " So I Said to 'em, "OK, assault us." " No problem." " because we may not be real bikers, but we know real lawyers." " And as Soon aS you touch us, we'll Sue you for everything you got and everything you're gonna have."  And they backed down." " They totally backed down." " It was awesome." "  You really Said that?" "  Yeah!" " My man!" "  Show me love." " Show me love." "  Yeah!" " Hey, guess what." " The trip'S back on." "  lt'S back on!" "  The trip is on!" " Wait." " We're gonna go back that way, then?" " Yeah, they don't care." " We Should just do it before they change their minds." "  Pacific Ocean, here we come!" "  Whoo!" "[  AC/DC:" "Highway to Hell]" "[indistinct chatter]" "Son of a bitch." " Come on." " Come on!" " [ honking]" " thanks, guys!" " those assholes got balls." " That I'm gonna put in my mouth and chew on!" " You're gonna put what in your mouth?" " Come on!" " Del FuegoS, let'S Smoke those hogs!" "  Let'S go!" "  Come on!" " What the hell...?" " Aw, Shit!" " Fire, fire!" " Fire, everybody." " Hey!" " Fire, come on, get off!" " Fire, fire!" " Get away." " Come on!" " Get out of there!" " Get out of there!" "[ all Shouting]" "Oh, Shit!" " Oh, God." " Oh, no." " [ tires Squealing]" " Come on." " Let'S go!" " What'S your rush?" " My balls are Still vibrating." " It'S..." "It'S the open road, man." " It'S riding free, that'S the rush." " this iSn't freedom, this is a gas Station!" " Built by the man!" " A prison for our souls!" " My Soul needs Something to drink." " I need gas." " We'll get gas at the next Station." " Come on, Wild hogs." " Let'S go!" " [ engines rewing]" " Whoo-hoo!" " Let'S ride!" " Did I miss the espresso Stop?" " [ Woody continues hooting]" " He'S moving." " Yahoo!" " [ grunting]" " Woody!" " You're an asshole." " They Should've had a Sign that Said," ""last gas X amount of miles."" " [ Squawking]" " I need Something to drink." " I'm thirsty...." "Or else I'm gonna die!" "[ Doug] Yeah." " You know, I keep..." "Saving my Spit" "So it'S like a drink of water, and it just keeps tasting like... my Spit." "[ Bobby panting] They Say you can get" "Something to drink out of a cactus, right?" " Where are the cactuses?" " We're in a desert that don't have no damn cactuSeS." "Yeah." " Actually, I think when it'S plural, it'S "cacti."" "  I'm killing him." "  You're gonna kill him?" " We're all thinking it." " Gonna need the nourishment." " He'll put up the least Struggle." "  Move out of the way." "  You love Dudley." " It'S the Sun." " It'S making us all crazy." " You're right, man." " My... my bad, Dud." " You know, I don't know what came over me." " Dehydration." " Your blood'S thickening, So your heart'S working harder to pump it through your arteries." " less gets to your head." " Our bodies are literally trying to drink themselves." " All right." " I'm killing him." "[ Doug] Wait a minute." " They got a Sign up here." " Curve of the road." " Read it!" "  Madrid?" " Spain?" "  No." " It'S Madrid." " That'S what the locals Say." " I Googled it." " Gonna be water, food and gas." "  We're gonna live." "  We gonna live!" " We gonna live, baby!" "[ country music plays]" "[Doug] lt'S closed!" " Ah, man!" " It'S closed!" " But the diner up here..." "The diner'S open!" " Come on!" " [ all panting]" " Get me a drink, quick!" "  We need water!" "  Quick!" "  Hey!" " Come on!" "  Right here." " Right here!" " Whoa!" "  Oh!" " Right here!" " Me!" "  Me!" " Me!" "  You?" "  Me!" "[ growling]" " Hey!" "  You!" " They were here three weeks ago." " They're already getting violent." " It'S OK, I got it." "[ belching]" " You gentlemen like a Seat?" "  lS there a booth open?" "  Let'S go!" " [ dishes clattering]" " Yeah." " Uh, what?" "  Come on." "  Keep moving!" "  Uh, nice town." " So, uh, I..." "Uh..." " She is perfect." "  You like the waitress?" " Oh, man." " I wanted to Say Something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes." "  Like which ones?" "  I forget." " Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whupped?" "  Would that be funny?" "  I'll be laughing." " Oh, I'll be cracking up." "[ laughs]" " [bell chimes] - [Doug] Oh, it'S the law." " Oh, boy." "  You boys here for the Chile festival?" "  What, you have a problem?" " You look like you Saw Something explode or Something, all right." " We're just passing through." " The people around here don't want any more trouble." " Now me, I got no problem with you Del FuegoS aS long as you boys could Stay Sober..." "No, no." " No, we're... we're not associated with those assholes." "  You're not?" " [ Doug] No." "  For real?" "  Yeah." "[ exhaleS deeply] folks, they're not Del FuegoS." "[all Sigh, murmuring]" "Are the Del FuegoS a problem around here?" " Only if you expect 'em to pay for a meal they just ate or a beer they just drank." "  Won't have problems with us." "  No, no." "  Then welcome to Madrid." "  excuse me, Sheriff?" "  Uh, the Del FuegoS?" "  Yeah." " OK, now." " How often might they come through this town?" " Oh, once every few months." "  Oh?" "  Yeah." " Yeah." " And... the gas Station, now when would that be open?" " That'S closed on sundays." " So tomorrow morning." " Oh, God." " But maybe you Should seriously consider Spending the night." " because we're having the world'S hottest chili contest." " The Chile festival iS not Something you wanna miss." " last year, Somebody'S throat actually Started to bleed." " Oh, damn!" " Somebody'S throat Started to bleed?" " Yeah." " Changed their life." " It'S great." " Think about it." " We gotta get out of this town, man." " this town iS a drag." " We gotta move on." "  We gotta find a way out." "  Woody, chill out, man." " We finally get a chance to relax." " Yeah." " And being able to use a bathroom," " that might be a good idea." "  And I can empty my poop bag." " And you gonna re-uSe the bag?" " Woody, remember the theme of this trip?" "" Whatever," remember?" "" Whatever,"" "OK, fine!" " Fine." " We'll Stay the night, and we'll get gas in the morning." " OK?" " Calm down." " I don't understand what your rush is." " I'm not in a rush, man." " I just wanna ride, man." " I just wanna ride." " You know?" " Ride, Sally, ride" "You are So weird." " He asks the..." "You Say the weirdest things, man." " You're like, "We're digging roots, buying real estate and Shit,"" "Yeah." " Why don't you just... [Sobbing]" "What?" "!" " What?" " All right, everybody come here." " Come on." " All right." " We're here." " Right?" " They could be in any of these towns." " Right around here." " All right?" " We're gonna find them, we're gonna get 'em." " I don't know, Jack." " I mean, by my calculations..." "[Stuttering] I'm thinking, if they're four hours ahead of us, we can..." "Shut up!" " Anybody else wanna tell me how hard this is gonna be?" " Huh?" " Any other naysayers?" " Good." " I want you to break up into two-man teams." " You call me when you find 'em." " [ indistinct chatter] - [ Pony]" " [indistinct chatter] - [ Pony]" "[Singing]" "Oh, Snap." " A Softball pitch." " You..." "I gotta win Something for my girls." " Wait a minute." " You think you're good at this?" " Oh, I know I'm good at this." " Hey, on my Little League team, they used to call me "Bull'S Eye Bobby,"" " Yeah." "  'cause I had pinpoint control." " Right." " A hundred forty-four innings, never walked a batter." " Watch me work, baby." "  Here you go." "  How you doin'?" "  Good luck." "  Thank you." " All right, Bull'S Eye Bobby, folks!" " Bull'S Eye Bobby, baby." " It'S probably been, what?" " Twenty-eight years, bulls Eye?" "[ up-tempo music plays]" " Hey." "  Hi." " So, um..." " excuse me?" " [ clears throat] Never mind." "  So you like chili?" "  Oh, yeah." " Not the hot Stuff." " But you put a nice, mild turkey chili in front of me?" " Oh, yeah, I'm gonna eat it." " That'S too bad 'cause I wanted you to try mine, but..." "...it'S pretty hot." "  No, I'll try it!" " I like your kinda hot." " The..." "In your chili." " The chili hot." " Food hot." " That'S the kinda hot I wanna kiss." " Eat." " OK." " If you're Sure you can handle it." " Handle it?" " I'm a biker." "[ chuckles]" " What'd you call him?" "  Bull'S Eye Bobby!" " Bull'S Eye Bobby, baby." "  Yeah, Bull'S Eye." " Yep." "  Ha-ha-ha!" " [ muffled groan]" " Oh..." " I guess that counts as a walk?" "  I'm gonna Sit. [ whimperS]" "[ Don't Cha]" "[Singing]" "Mmm." " Smooth." " tasty." " Little... [coughs]..." "Spice." " It gets a little hotter as it sits in your throat." " [ groans]" " You OK?" " Mm." " You want Some of this?" " It'll cool you down." "[ garbling, muttering]" "Don't worry, your throat won't actually bleed." " [ continues garbling]" " I understand." "[ Dudley] Mother of God!" " I Swallowed hot lava!" "[ continues Singing]" "Hundred and forty-four innings, you never hit anybody in the crotch?" " Not on purpose, man, all right?" " You all right?" "  Yeah, it'S..." "Good fastball." "  Hey." " I'd like you boys to meet my deputies, Earl and Buck Dooble." "  How are you, Earl?" "  I'm Earl." " He'S Buck." " [ Doug] Earl, Buck." "  Now, just remember:" "Brother with the word "ear" in his name has got both on his head." " See, I can only Say that 'cauSe I'm on his right Side, which, aS you can See, iS mostly blown off." "  You Say Something?" " [ Shouting] I did not." " needless to Say, we don't carry firearms anymore." " I mean, sometimes you pull 'em out, you think they're not loaded, and then sometimes..." "They blow your deputy'S ear off?" " Yeah." " What brings you boys on this trip, anyway?" " firstly, we had to get away, OK?" " And Secondly, you know, you just never know how many more summers you've got left." "  Do you?" "  Wow." " That'S deep." " I just came on this trip, you know, hoping to reclaim the old Doug, you know?" " You know, I know exactly what you mean." " You know, you can never let life get too Stagnant or too Safe." " Every now and then you gotta do what we folks around here like to call "Slap the Bull,"" ""Slapping the Bull"?" " That'S just a little game we play to make Sure your life iS not controlled by fear." " Yeah, I wanna do that." " Oh, come on, guys." " We're exhausted." " I think we Should just put the bikes in back of the hotel, in a Shed with the doors closed, perhaps, and then play Scrabble in the... in the room with the shades down." " Look, Aunt Bee, maybe you wanna do Something else here in Mayberry." " Yeah." "  How 'bout a little Bull Slap?" "  sounds like Something I could win at." "  Yeah." "  I'll take a little Bull Slap." " Look, Bull Slap for everybody." " Line 'em up." "  Let'S have a little Bull Slap." "  We'll do it!" " So literally, we're gonna Slap a bull?" " Yep." " Right on the ass." " And then you're gonna wanna hightail it outta there." "  Why?" "  'cause he can kill you." "  Mm-hmm." "  Perfect." " Hey, man, I thought this was a drinking game." " Yeah, you know, you got a lot of animals I would Slap." " A chicken, I'd Slap a chicken." " Or a goat, maybe." " A ferret, I'd Slap, you know?" " But I'm not..." "I'm not gonna Slap a bull." " Oh, come on, Doug." " It was your idea." " Get in there!" " I didn't know we..." "Look at the nuts on that thing!" "[ Woody] Come on!" " [ Doug] lt'S not Safe." "  Not Safe." " Know what?" "  You snooze, you lose." " I'm going." "  Getting ready to do that?" "  Yep!" "  Oh!" " You jackass." " Go ahead, Woody." " Hope you're wearing a cup." "  Right on the ass." "  He looks confident." " easy." " Whoa!" "  Come on, get back, now!" " [ all cheering]" "Way to get back!" " I just Slapped a big fat bull on the ass!" " That was awesome!" " Who'S next?" "  Uh, Doug?" "  Doug?" " Yeah, no, that'd be you, yeah." " Come on, Doug." " Do it!" " It'S... it... you could..." "That'S really an, um..." "Doug, go." "  Come on, man!" "  Handle your business." " [ Woody] It was easy." "  I'm not gonna..." "[Woody] Yeah, come on!" " It'S fun!" " Old days, Doug." " Old days." " All right, all right, I'm gonna Slap a bull." "  I'm gonna Slap that bull." "  There you go." " [ Woody] That'S my Doug!" "  There he goes." " just Slap it right there on the rear end?" " Right on the hind hauncheS." "You know, this is So good for Doug." "  Actually, it'S good for all of us." "  Yeah." " Hey, thanks for bringing us here." " Sure." " Glad we could help." " Yeah, and we never Seen it done twice in a row." "  Mm-mmm." "  What?" " Be interesting to See how the bull takes being Slapped" " now that he'S alert." "  Mm-hmm." "[ both] Alert?" " [ bellowing] - [panting]" " [all yelling]" " Get back!" "  Hurry!" "  Hey!" " Come on." " [ Screaming] - [all groan]" "Ow!" "[ groans]" " He coming back!" " [ all Shouting]" "Bull!" " He coming back!" " He coming back!" " Oh...!" " Oh!" " Oh!" " Oh!" " Ah!" " He almost got me!" " Come on!" " What'S this bully want?" " Come on, bully!" " You don't wanna use mockery!" " That never works!" " Cowboy'S in trouble!" " Maybe if you just try to reason with it!" "  He'S coming back for more!" " Look out!" "  Whoa!" " He'S more afraid of you than you are of him!" "[ Sheriff] Watch out!" " Watch out, watch out." " Come on!" "  Come on, let'S go, let'S go!" "  Oh!" " What?" "!" " [ Woody] Yeah, man, this is living!" "  Yeah, we Slapped a bull on the ass!" "  yes, Sir!" "  Yeah!" "[ Sheriff] Yeah, you Sure did." "  You Sure did!" " [ Bobby] Hey, did y'all See my moves?" " I waS Shaking and baking just like the NFL, baby!" " You hear what I'm Saying?" " I delivered it right to the end Zo...!" "[  Kiss You All Over]" "[Singing]" " Hey, look at him." "  He threw Bobby ten feet in the air." " Hey, man, that damn bull kept following me around." "  You think it waS my cologne?" "  What are you wearing, Rodeo Clown?" "  Hold on..." " So now you got jokes?" " [ laughing]" " Hey, Woody, you know," "I apologize for Saying you had ego issues earlier." " All right?" " I'm Sorry I called you a pussy." " You didn't call me a pussy." " No, not to your face, but that'S what I waS thinking!" " Hey, we're just Saying how much fun this trip'S turned out to be." " I waS So close this time!" " So close!" " What'S the matter, Dudley?" " The waitress." " I think She likes me." " [ both] Good." "  No, it'S not good." " She told me to meet her on the dance floor." "  So?" "  So?" " Go dance." " I can't go on the dance floor." " You know what I look like." " The music moves me, but it moves me ugly." " Well, do that..." "Sprinkler thing you did at my wedding." "  Yeah." "  I can't do the Sprinkler." " I've gotta..." "I need to..." " No." "  yes." " I Said no." "[ Woody] Why don't we keep it Simple, why don't we just, uh..." "We'll do the lindy." " I'll be the guy, you be the girl." " There we go." " And it'S just..." "Remember?" "  OK." " Yeah, right." "  lt'S one and two and three and four, and turn her around," " and Start over again." "  Do it two times, and..." " Whatever you want." "  I'll be the guy." "  Be the guy, I'll be the girl." "  OK." " Ready." " And one and two and three and four." " One and two and three and four, and turn me around and..." " Oh, yeah!" " Now we're..." " Oh, OK, that'S enough." "  That'S, uh, good lesson." "  What?" " No, wait." " IS that it?" "  Yeah, that'S enough." "  That'S just a pocket knife." "[ up-tempo music plays]" "There She is." " You're ready." " Go." "  Yeah, let'S do it." "  I'm ready." " You're ready." " Come on." " Go." "[ laughing]" "Yeah!" " [ woman] Whoo!" "  Check it out." " [ gasps] Oh!" "  Ahh!" "[ all] Oh!" " Whoa, whoa." "[ both] He'S panicking." " Hey!" " That'S my phone!" "[ grunts]" "Your minutes just expired." "  Baby!" " Baby, it'S Murdock." "  Tell me you found them." " We did." " They're in Madrid." "[ cackleS] Good!" " Good, good, good, good." " I like Madrid!" " The ground is Soft enough to bury them." " You want us to Smack 'em around a little?" "[ Jack] No!" " No!" " Listen to me!" " You just make Sure they Stay there." " OK?" " But do not touch them." " They're mine." " I wanna feel their bones break under my fists." " sounds like a good beating, Jack." " We'll leave 'em for you, then." " Anyone else want Some Wild Hog for breakfast?" "[ all cheering]" " [man] Yee-ha!" " [ light music playing]" "[spits]" "You expect me to pay for this piSS-warm beer?" " Here, you can have it back." " [ laughing] - [moaning]" "If we drank piss, we'd drink it cold!" " What?" "!" " Wait, guys, guys, guys, guys, look..." "We don't drink piss!" " [ man] Hey, hey." " [ chortling]" "Hey, Woody." " Maybe it'S time to give these guys another one of your famous talks." " I think we just avoid them, OK?" " I've handled this legally." " We Should go." " You know what?" " I'm talking to these assholes this time, Woody." " You Shouldn't have to do it twice." " You took care of them the last time, and I just Sat there." " But this time, you know what?" " They wanna See rage?" " Watch me." "  Bobby, Bob..." " Whoa!" "[ Bobby] Hey, assholes!" " You boys got a hell of a lot of trouble coming." " You know that, right?" " I'm gonna tell you again," "like my friend told your Stupid-aSS, cracker-aSS, inbred buddies..." "Did he just Say "cracker"?" " " Cracker-aSS,"" " Oh, perfect." " You touch us, and we'll Sue your ass So hard, you'll be taking out a loan just to piss." " Now, if that ain't clear enough for you, maybe this is:" "splash." " Huh?" " Got it?" " Did I get it in your mouth?" " splash!" " splash!" " splash!" " Did I get you on Some of that?" " You crossed a little line there." " No, no, no, no, no!" " It ain't worth it, man." " Jack'll kill us if we touch him." "  So just..." " Break Some of that up." " Got a little treat for you." " Huh?" " Break a little of that up." "[ all exclaiming]" "Can you hear that?" " Can you hear that?" " Uhh!" " Uhh!" " Uhhh!" "  That'S not a discussion." "  No, that'S a lawsuit." " [ grunting] - [groaning]" " Aw, look at that." " [ groans] What?" "!" " That'S gonna Stain." " Ha!" " You boys look like you belong on a couple of hot dogs." "[ chuckles] Now," "If there'S any other Del FuegoS that need that message repeated, you tell them that the Wild hogs are right here in Madrid, baby ready to explain it again." "  You got that?" " [ panting]" "I Said you got that?" "!" " [ crunching] - [all wince]" "Sweet mother of mercy!" " [ gasping]" " Huh?" "!" "[ grumbling]" "He don't want it." " He don't want it." " I'm hungry." "[ all cheering]" "Let'S evacuate!" " Come on!" " [ country music plays] - [people hooting]" " Beer, here!" "  Wild hogs, I gotta tell you, you don't know how many broken windows you guys Saved this town." " Sheriff, it'S the least we could do for our new friends here in Madrid." "  Right, Bobby?" " [ laughing] Wild hogs!" "[ all] Wild hogs!" " That'S Some good work you did there." " Hey, thank you, Sheriff." " Now look, you know, if you need Something done, just come to me." " You know what I mean?" "' CauSe I will beat Shit down." " Let'S Say them peanuts are bothering you." " Huh?" " I don't wanna hear it!" " I don't wanna hear it!" " What'd the Sheriff tell you?" " What'd the town people tell you?" " What the...?" " You know what I mean?" " I ain't got no problem with it." " I ain't got no problem with it." " Yeah." " Yeah." " That'S all right." " this is great." " Right, Woody?" "  Huh?" "  You all right?" " Yeah..." " I'm gonna call Kelly." "  Yeah." " Remind her just what kind of a Stud She married." " All right, yeah, you do that." "[ cries]" "Hey, hey, Bobby!" " Next time, I handle those bozos, eh?" " The wrath of Dudley!" " Wild hogs!" "[ all] Wild hogs!" " Tequila, on the Wild hogs." " In New Mexico." " We actually Slapped a bull." " Slapped it right on the ass." " You have no idea how turned on I am right now," " but please be careful." "  We're like celebrities." "  Well, Bobby is." "  Man, I crush them caShewS." " Macadamia nuts?" "  Oh, macadamia nut?" " I'd kick it out the park." " Hey!" " And guess who dropped by to Say hello." " Karen." " Yeah, I think She'S feeling a little lonely." "  Who'S that?" "  lt'S Doug." " says they're having a great time on the trip." " Kelly, don't tell her about the..." "Road trip?" "!" " Hey!" " Dudley, don't you wanna come inside?" " I'm fine." " I'm just gonna, um," "Sit out here for a little while, I think." " OK." " You OK?" " I'm fine." " I'm... uh..." "No, the truth iS I'm not OK." " The truth iS I like you a lot, Maggie." " I'm liking you a lot too." " See, that'S what I waS afraid of." " That you would like me without knowing..." "Without me telling you..." "I'm not a cool biker, Maggie." " I'm not a cool anything." " I'm a computer programmer." " I'm just a geek." " I'm Sorry if you thought I waS Somebody that I'm not." " Mm-mm." " You're not a geek." "  You're a lot of fun." "  Hmm." " And you're really honest." " And you're really Sweet." " You're the kind of guy that'S hard to find." "  Sorry." " [ laughs]" "Try again." " One more time." "[ chuckles]" "[Woody] All right, Bobby!" " All gaSSed up!" "  Whoo!" " All gaSSed up, baby!" "  All right." " Let'S get Dudley." " Let'S go!" "  Clive, what'S up?" "  Hey!" " My man!" " What you know?" " No good?" " All right." " OK." " We're going to high altitudes." " We Should check tire pressure." " Whoa, no, no, little buddy." " We gotta ride." " We gotta get going, OK?" " We got new experiences and new locations, right?" " We can't leave, man." " I'm like the mayor of this town." "  My people need me." "  I Said we're leaving!" " Hey, guys." " We decided we wanna have breakfast here." " Come on!" " Hey, cowboy!" " Let'S Saddle up, OK?" " You're burning daylight." " Let'S go!" " Got a problem with hanging a few minutes?" " Do I look like I have a problem?" " Do I?" "  Yeah." "  yes." " There you go again." " Saying the weirdest Shit." " [ engines rewing] - [indistinct Shouting]" "Del FuegoS!" " Hide the bikes!" " Quick!" " [ Dudley] Why, why?" "  just do it!" " trust me!" " What'S wrong?" " Why are we hiding?" "  What'S going on?" " [ Dudley] I don't know." "  Oh, God!" "  Hey!" " Why are we hiding?" " You took care of this already, didn't you?" " No, not like you think, OK?" " Well, what is it that I think?" " I didn't really talk to them, OK?" "  You serious?" " [ Doug] I knew Something was wrong." " Dudley, you're like, "I'm all Stupid..." "Not Dudley'S fault!" "... take my bike, give me a piece of junk, I'm happy,"" "You're all, "I'm Scared." " Let'S get out,"" " Whatever." "  lt'S our fault?" " The Del FuegoS are all, "You're nothing." "  We're real bikers,"" " this iSn't about us!" "  What did you do?" "  What did you do, Woody?" " I... [murmuring]" "I cut the gas lines of their bikes." " And then I..." " What?" "  Maybe blew up their bar." "  Oh!" "  Ah, perfect!" " [ Dudley] Oh, we're dead!" "  Oh, come on!" " Wait a minute!" " Wait a minute!" " That means they're just here to kill us." " No Sign of 'em, Jack." "[ growling]" "Wild hogs!" " Come out, come out, wherever you are!" " I finally meet a girl, and now I'm gonna die." " So all the mustard and the ketchup didn't help the Situation, huh?" " Ohhh!" "[ Jack] Oh, you don't wanna come out?" " We'll wait!" " There'S only one road out of this town!" " We own it!" " Me and my boys will be in this lovely little diner here!" " Get out of here!" " The longer you keep us waiting, the worse it'S gonna get for the peaceful town of Madrid!" " Jack!" " I'm going to ask you not to." " What did you Say, you little turd?" "  What did he Say?" "  He called him a turd." " [ bikers laugh]" " Let'S go!" " Enjoy." " OK, I made a mistake." " Woody, we could have just went home, man, and been fine." " Yeah, well, you know, maybe I don't have a home." "[ sighs] Claudia left me." "[ Sighing] Three months ago She left." " And then I fell apart." " lost my clients." " And then I lost my job." " Now I got to Sell the house and I got to Sell the car." " Can't even get the lawn raked, you know." " I just got the bike and I got you guys." " That'S all I got." " So this trip is all about you running away from your miserable, Screwed-up life?" "[ Stuttering] And you Screw up our lives?" " asshole!" " I'm Sorry about your Situation, Woody, but you're a lying asshole." "  Which is like an asshole'S asshole." "  I thought that..." "I thought that being a Wild Hog meant Something." " But clearly it doeSn't." " You don't care about me!" " That'S fine." " I don't care." " It doeSn't mean anything, Woody!" " Remember, it'S just a patch my wife made!" " We Should go Somewhere to yell at each other where there aren't people trying to kill us." " Hey, Maggie." " thanks for letting us hide in your house." " Yeah, thanks." " It'S hard not to when you're Screaming and kicking down the door." " Hey." " You OK?" " Mm." " Yeah." " Diner'S the only thing I have." " If that gets destroyed, it'S..." "[sighs] But you're Safe." " You guys are Safe." " Now just Stay put." " Nobody has to go out there and be a hero." " You got that right." "  You guys aren't going out there?" "  You're the Sheriff." " Why don't you go?" "[ Sheriff] Like, Sheriff of a town of 500 people." " I got my qualification from a course on the Internet." " For arms training, they just told us to play Doom." " I Say we just wait it out, they'll lose interest, and they'll go." " Yeah, I agree." " Wait it out." " Hey." " Where'S Dudley?" "[  Electric Light orchestra:" "Showdown]" "Oh, Dudley." " Don't do that." " All right, you Del FuegoS... [indistinct chattering]" "Hey!" " Let'S end this." " At least one of you came out to face the music." " Very brave." " But Stupid." " I didn't come to face any music." " I came here to Stop you fellas from hurting this diner, which the love of my life just happens to own." " So, if it'S gotta get ugly..." "I'll give you ugly." " [ glass Shattering] - [all laugh]" "It Slipped out of my glove." " Hey!" " IS it OK if I tell people you guys did that?" " I Should be getting back." " It'S late." " The guys are gonna be worrying." " We'll talk later." " guys!" " guys!" " No, no." " You don't get to hide out here with us." " You get to hide outside with those crazy people that wanna kill us." "  They got Dudley." " Look out the window." "  What?" "[ Jack] All right, this is what'S gonna happen, Wild hogs!" " You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $1 0,000!" " plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar!" " And if you wanna See your friend alive again, do not call the cops!" " If you're not here in a half an hour to Settle this," "I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend'S legs!" " I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron!" " [ bikers yelling]" " Don't bring the money!" " I'm a computer programmer!" " I don't need my legs!" " Fine!" " I'll break his hands!" " [ bikers] Yeah!" "  Oh, damn it." " Bring the money!" " Definitely!" " Definitely bring money!" "  Get him out of here!" "  Now!" " We need money!" "[ Sniffing]" "Dudley went to Save the diner, now they're gonna break his hands." " No, they're not." " We're gonna..." "We're gonna get him back." " I've called the highway patrol." " Gonna be here in two hours." " Hey, man." " They Said no cops, or else they gonna take it out on Dudley." " We don't wanna piss 'em off until we get him out of their hands." " You know, he'S not exactly in their hands now, OK?" " Why not?" " He was Sitting right..." " What the...?" "  Get me down!" " [ all laughing]" " Why?" " You look good up there!" " You look like a pinata with red hair!" "[ all laughing]" "I think..." "I think I'm gonna keep you up there till your buddies come!" " And then if they don't, I'm gonna bust you open and we're gonna See what falls out!" " Ha!" "[ Dudley] Bobby!" " Woody!" " Doug!" "  What are we gonna do?" "  I don't know." " Well, I know what I'm gonna do." " I'm gonna go get him." "[ scoffs] There you go talking crazy again." "  They will kill you." "  No, I'm not talking crazy." " I have three people left in my life that I care about, and I let you guys down." " Nah." " I'd rather go out there and make it go right and die doing it than be the asshole that Screwed everything up." " Hey, hey, Woody." " Woody, where you going?" " Woody!" " Don't you know hogs run in packs, baby?" " We're Still Wild hogs?" "  Wild hogs, man." "  Wild hogs." " All right, here'S how it'S gotta go." " I gotta get up to 30 miles an hour." " It'S only duct tape holding that rope." " I'll get him by the trunk and grab him" " and I'll Save Dudley." "  You'll need a distraction." " Together, guys." " Together we can do this." " And I'm ready." " I'm ready." " I'm ready." "  What?" "  What'S wrong?" "  lt'S gonna Sound kind of Stupid." "  What?" " Well, before I go, I need one of you to yell," ""lt'S the Golden Knight!"  It helps me get in the mood." " Yeah, baby!" "  It helps motivate me." "  He'S back!" "[ laughing] lt'S the Golden Knight." " With gusto, though." "[ engines rewing]" " Now?" "  Now!" " Holy crap, it'S the Golden Knight!" "[  White Zombie:" "Thunder Kiss '65]" "Clear 'em out, boys!" " Clear 'em out!" " Del Fuego!" " Come out and play, baby!" " All day, baby!" " All day!" " Thirty-five, 35, exactly 35!" "[ indistinct Shouting]" "Wild hogs, baby!" " Wild hogs!" "[ muffled groaning, grunting]" "OK, guys, Slow down..." "You're gonna..." "Oh, no, no, no..." "Ooh..." "Whoa!" " [ all laughing] - [Doug] Du-Dud-Dudley!" "  Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho..." " All right, I gotcha." " I gotcha." "  You having fun?" "  That was amazing!" " The tape was supposed to break!" " Oh..." " [grunting] - [bikers laugh]" " Oh..." " There it goes." "  lS there a problem?" "  Come on." " Come on!" "  lS there a problem?" "  Come on." " Come on!" " You burned down Damien'S bar, you pull this little circus act out here, now you're gonna See what it'S like when you mess with us." "  That'S right." "  Burn down the diner!" "  Torch it!" "  Whoa, whoa, look, look..." "We can come up with the money," "I got a little bit in my savings." " It was my fault." " I did it." " I cut the fuel lines." " Let me deal with it." " Let these guys go." " No!" " We're not gonna pay any money and we're not calling the cops." " We're gonna Stand here and fight." " You don't want our money." " What do you need money for?" " You're free." " You're just here to get what you get from the townspeople all the time, fear." "' CauSe you're Scary people." " People'll do anything to Stay Safe, including give up the biggest part of their lives, adventure." " Let'S have a little adventure, huh?" " Let'S fight." " Let'S dance, huh?" "  Let'S do it!" "  Enough'S enough." "  Let'S kick Some Del Taco ass." "  Wait, wait, wait." " Do either of you guys have a knife or scissors?" " A nail clipper?" " All right, So how do we do this?" " Like high School?" " A little circle, huh?" "  Oh!" " [ bikers] Yeah!" " Murdock, Red, Tiny." " Four on four." "  Body or face, pretty boy?" "  Not the face." "[ grunts] Ow!" "[ grunting]" " I'll take him." "  Thank you!" " Yah!" "[ shouts] [yelling]" " Trade back!" " Trade back." "  I got him, I got him." " It'S not really fair, you know." " I'm kinda tied up." " You ever See a hook off the jab?" " Huh?" " Bring it!" "[ yells] [both grunting]" " Oh!" "  Let'S have a little fun, baby." " Whew." " Let'S play." " Golden Glove, baby." "[ Shouting]" "Ow!" " Ow!" " You hit my helmet." " Are you OK, man?" " You hurt your hand?" " That actually really hurt." " Whoa!" "[ groans]" "Good Shot!" " Get off!" " Oh!" " Uh-oh, no, no, no, no, don't..." " Throw Sand!" "  What?" "  Throw Sand!" "  Yeah..." "I didn't mean to aim there..." "Ha!" " Whoo!" " Nice... [laughs] [groans]" "Damn!" " I done knocked out my boy!" "  Come on." " You all right?" "  Ooh..." " [groaning] - [cackling]" "Well, that was easy." "  Come on." "  Burn down the diner!" " [ bikers] Yeah!" "  Come on!" "  Oh, good." " You want Some more?" "  Yeah, I got nothing to lose." " I got no wife." " No job." " No house." " I got my friends, though." " I got them till the end." "  Oh!" "  That'S great!" "[ Doug] You know, you know what'S So Stupid about this?" " We wanted to be like you guys." " What I See here iS just a bunch of grown men whose biggest decision in life iS, "Uh, sleeveless or, uh..." "sleeveless?" " Do I Shit behind the rock, or over there by that bush?"" " Grown men." " this is pathetic." " You go ahead and kick our ass, OK?" " because we're not the posers." " You guys are the posers." "  Ow!" " [ all laughing]" "Hey!" " Do yourselves a favor and Stay down!" " Twenty-five years of being yelled at." " Man, I ain't taking this..." "And I got a girlfriend." " Punch that out of me, bitches." " Hmm?" "[ chuckles]" " Oh." "  Are we doing this?" "  Let'S do it." "  Yeah." " Come on." "  Come on." "  Come on." " You're kidding me, right?" " What'S wrong with you guys?" "[ Jack] All right!" " You wanna keep going?" " [ car door slams]" " I don't think So." " You're done, Jack." " You Del FuegoS!" " You are done!" " And we want you out of our town, now." "  And who'S "we"?" "  All of us." "[ cackling]" "If four people could Stand up to a gang of bikers," "I guess we can too!" " Well, we'll fight you and the Children of the Corn too." "' CauSe the Del FuegoS don't back down!" " this is our highway." " And we're gonna defend our highway." "[ man] Wrong, Jack." " It'S my highway." " Blade." " Hi, Maggie." "  Hmm." " Bar burned down." "  Yeah." " these posers, these four posers right here." " Four guys Stand off 50 bikers..." "...and they're the posers?" "  Yeah." " They burnt down the bar that you built." " It was a Shithole." " I insured it for twice what it waS worth." " The guys did me a favor." " We were just following the code that you wrote." " Why do you think I don't wear the colors, Jack?" " Why do you think I ride alone?" "' CauSe you don't know about it anymore." " I think you all oughta get back on your bikes and go out and ride the highway until you remember what riding'S all about." " Let it go, Jack." " OK, Pop." " takes after his mom." "[ all cheering]" "[exhaling heavily]" "Man, that was like level 1 2 of Doom." " The posers." "  What do you guys call yourselves?" "  I'm Woody." "  I'm Bobby." "  I'm Doug." " No, no, no." " You all riding together?" "  What do you..." " [all] hogs!" " Wild hogs." " Wild..." "Yeah, Wild hogs." " Well, Wild hogs, ride hard or Stay home." "  Yeah." "  Oh, and, guys, lose the watches." "  Freedom, baby." "  We did it, babe." " All day." " All day." " Hey!" " Hey!" " We're Wild hogs!" " The Saga continues!" "[ tires Squealing]" "What the hell?" " What in the world iS going on around here?" " Plumbing conference?" " Have you lost your mind?" " Shut up, Doug!" " Bobby, who are these people, and where are we at?" " Well, obviously, I'm not at a..." "plumbing conference in Cleveland, baby." " Oh, really?" " Baby, I've been fighting bikers all day, this little chinese dude bust my nose," "I've been Slapping bulls..." "Bobby, I don't give a damn about you fighting no bulls!" " Now, I want you to get your ass in that van because we are going home." " I cannot believe you'd deceive me like this!" "  Karen..." " No, Bobby, I want...!" " Karen!" " Slow your roll." " Look, baby, I love you, OK?" " But I'm tired of being talked at." " I don't talk at you, Bobby!" "  I talk..." " Look at what you're doing now." " [ sighs]" " Come on." " You feel me?" " OK, baby, all right, all right, I feel you." " Right now I just need you to Show me Some love." " just a little bit of love." " Oh..." "Mmm..." "[Smacking] That'S scrumptious." " You seriously got in a fight with bikers?" " A whole bunch of 'em." " We chased 'em out of town!" " There was 50 of them." "  It was Something." "  Fifty?" " I gotta tell the guys about this." " That is awesome!" " I'll be right back, OK?" " Doug, are you Sure you're OK?" "[ chuckles]" " Ow, ow, ow, ow..." " Oh, your ribs, your ribs." "  You're Standing on my foot!" "  Oh, Sorry!" " So I'll See you when I get back?" "  Mm-hmm." "  All right?" "  Mmm." " I love you." "  I love you too, baby." " All right." " Get a room, baby." " Can we?" " Do we have time?" " When are you coming back through?" " A biker never knows." " Maybe a week." " Maybe a month." " Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take Six minutes for wind resistance." " Well, I Sure do wish you guys would Stick around." " We got Some riding to do, Sheriff." " thanks anyway." " Well, I'll just Say it:" "You fellas were a blessing to this place." " I mean, I'm not gonna get all emotional" "like old hamburger head over here always..." "What did you just call me?" " Uh, See, when we walked up, you were on my..." "You Son of a bitch!" " Come on, Buck, I Swear." " That'S the first time!" "  I don't wanna hear it!" "  Well, honestly, you can't." " I heard that." "  Ready to ride, guys?" "  Ready to ride, baby." " Let'S See what the west coast has to offer." " Think there'll be any trouble along the way?" " Oh, I hope So." " Yeah, I like the way you think." " I like the way you think." "[ all gasp]" "I'm OK!" " I just hurt my face." "[ all cheering]" "[ Brian wilson:" "Good Vibrations]" "Wow." " [ Doug] Hey, we did it!" " [ Woody] Woo-hoo!" " Do you believe this?" " [ Dudley] Hello!" " [ Bobby] Whoa, my goodness." " Whoa, oh, no." " Oh, no." " Oh!" " Whoa!" "  Whoa!" " Ah!" " [ honking horn]" "Whoa!" " Whoa!" " Sorry, Sorry." " Two thousand miles, but I finally got it." "' Bout time, rookie!" "  Lot of distractions." "  California, baby!" "[ all groan]" "[laughs]" "Welcome back to Extreme Makeover:." " Home Edition." " Now, we've met Some incredible families, but this could be the saddest Story we've..." "We've ever Seen." " this family has lost everything." " They've lost their home, they've lost their history, they've lost their heritage." " But this week, we've done Something about that." " So let'S welcome back..." "the Del Fuego family!" "[ all cheering]" "Well, Jack, two months ago, man, you lost the only home you ever knew." " But thanks to a call from your friends, the Wild hogs, we built you a new one." "[ Dudley] That'S So great." " They..." "He didn't have to mention us." " That'S..." "Oh, man." " So you guys know what to say?" "  Say it with me!" " [ all] bus driver, move that bus!" "[ all cheer]" "Oh!" " Wow!" "[ Ty] usually we have Some pretty emotional reactions, but, uh, Jack, you know, wow." " I'm not Sure what was going on with Jack." "[ whimpering] Oh..." "thanks to our friends at sears and local breweries, who provided State-of-the-art taps and a year'S Supply of free beer!" "[ all cheering]" "Oh, my God!" " That is So cool!" "[ Screaming] That is So cool!" " Cool as a parking lot made out of real leather?" "  Oh!" " [ Murdock] That is So rad!" " That is So [bleep] rad!" " The bar was my home." " When it went down..." "I felt... homeless." " Del FuegoS, go check out your new home!" "[ Ty] Here'S the thing, you're talking about a bunch of guys that grew up in broken homes." " They really didn't have a home." " And now they've got one." " With a bidet in it." "  Thank you!" " [ cheering continues] [exhaleS heavily]" "[SniffleS] [all] We love our bar." " thanks, America!" "  Yeah!" "  Whoo!" " Wild hogs!" "[  Bon Jovi:" "Lost Highway]"