An Aggie farmer was lifting his hogs, one by one, up to the branches of
his apple trees to graze on the apples.  A Texas student walked by and
asked him, "Doesn't that take a lot of time?" 
Replied the Aggie, "What's time to a hog?" 

There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). 
This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.