Nintendo of America’s Twitter feed was subjected to a “Toad takeover” this afternoon, as the company decided to give the Mushroom Kingdom’s shrillest member some time behind the wheel.  The stunt was ostensibly in promotion of Mario Party Star Rush, a Nintendo 3DS game launching Nov. 4, but followers quickly attached the Ask Toad hashtag to tweets about anything but. 

Toad gave a simple prompt: “If you could ask him one piece of party advice, what would it be?”  But Nintendo fans have far more important things on their mind than simple hosting tips.  Instead, they poured their hearts out to the little guy, asking for help with failed relationships, poor self-image and incessant alternate reality games. 

@NintendoAmerica why wont my wife return my texts — melty☻buddy (@mushbuh) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica how can i finally learn to love myself for who i am — (@kuromi_ebooks) November 3, 2016

The hope was that Toad would, eventually, answer these questions — even though they totally ignored his specific pitch.  But the sentient toadstool, clearly overwhelmed by the therapeutic needs of Nintendo’s fanbase, instead steeled himself from these inquiries. 

Hey everyone!  It’s me, Toad!  I’m here to run Twitter for the next hour!  Let’s have fun!  pic.twitter.com/kiN2dUGxdC — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

Toad just wanted to have fun, he told Nintendo’s 5.25 million followers.  And there’s nothing more fun than promoting your appearance in Mario Party Star Rush, right? 

I am so honored to have an entire mode named after me in #MarioParty Star Rush.  It’s called Toad Scramble and it’s super fun!  pic.twitter.com/BZf1rU0joc — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

But Nintendo’s followers had zero interest in having fun or talking Party Rush.  Toad offered to be a comforting presence to their troubled, vulnerable souls — so he had better make good on that promise, dammit, they exclaimed. 

@NintendoAmerica do you ever think about your own mortality — B A (@bramjaho) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica my dad left me — isabel (@Jiminayru) November 3, 2016

The time eventually came for Toad to answer their questions, slowly but surely.  But he was committed to his bit as the resident giver of party knowledge.  Duty called first, Toad said, but no one was interested in his brand of party tips, which really just entailed maintaining your stock of amiibo and party hats at all times.  By this point, Nintendo fans waffled between fed up and inconsolable. 

@NintendoAmerica my dad left me — isabel (@Jiminayru) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica you had one job toad — TDT_Ultra (@TDT_Ultra) November 3, 2016

Ah, but Toad made a promise that he intended to keep ... but few of his answers were revealing.  In fact, Toad answered just three questions, all of which were about his signature style and apparent lifelong love of parties. 

Pin the Tail on the Cheep-Cheep is always a huge hit. # MarioParty https://t.co/9x5qSemnuo — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

Great question!  Always wear a Tanooki suit. # MarioParty https://t.co/1Pyq7YDktO — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

It's what I like to call "Mushroom Chic." # MarioParty https://t.co/3YqNDnYegT — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

There was no celebrating to be had by Nintendo fans, to be sure.  One NeoGAF poster immediately took to the forum to decry Toad’s very existence. 

“NOA's twitter this afternoon was ‘taken over’ by toad and made me come to realization,” said DNAbro. “ I fucking hate Toad.  If the next core Mario game were to have no Toads, I wouldn't miss them.  If any of the spin offs were to get rid of him I would say good riddance.” 

Did all of this just sully Toad’s good name?  It doesn’t seem like it, actually: Even though he’s a terrible therapist, fans just want more Toad, all the time. 

@NintendoAmerica bring back toad — nice wrangel (@wrangelisland) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica Toad never leave this twitter account — Stonepa (@Stonepa11) November 3, 2016

Perhaps Mario Party Star Rush’s Nov. 4 launch will further affirm the stunt, and either way, at least Nintendo fans got a few hours to air their deepest grievances, even if they fell upon deaf ears.