"I feel bad for the silver-medal winner in the Olympics." " I mean, how do you live with that?" "" How much did you lose by?"  I don't even know." " It was like from now to now." " Now to now." " Now, now, now."" " It was...and that was it, I lost." " I trained, I worked out, I exercised." " I was doing pushups, sit-ups." " I never did anything but exercise for 20 years." " I flew halfway around the world...." "And that was that." " It was a photo finish." " Silver, gold." "" lf I had a pimple, I would have won."" " Can't believe you write for the J. Peterman catalogue." " Get this one, "l packed my rod and reel." " Thirty hours later, lost in the fjord a welcoming smile." " Thank God she spotted the epaulets on my Norwegian ice-fishing vest."" " This catalogue is all about how to score in a foreign country." " Yeah, what do you do all day?" " Not that much." " I thought that new promotion was supposed to be more work?" " When the season starts." " Right now, I sit around pretending I'm busy." " How do you pull that off?" " I always look annoyed." " When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy." " Think about it." " Yeah, you do." " He looks busy." " He looks very busy." " I know what I'm doing." " In fact, Mr. Wilhelm gave me one of those little stress dolls." " All right." " Back to work." " So did you come up with a stupid story for the Himalayan walking shoe yet?" " No, I'm completely blocked." " In fact, I'm gonna work on it tonight." " Oh, no." " I can't." " I got that marathon runner coming in tonight." " What marathon runner?" " You know, this guy, Jean-Paul...?" " I met him when I was working at Pendant editing a book on running." " Oh, wait Jean-Paul Jean-Paul." " Yes." " He overslept at the Olympics four years ago missed the marathon." " Yeah, that's him." " He's from Trinidad and Tobago, right?" " Yeah, he's Trinidadian and Tobagan." " How do you oversleep at the Olympics?" " I know." " I know." " It's like the biggest event of your life." " You'd think you'd have six alarm clocks paying off little kids to come banging on your door." " Well, he was pretty devastated." " This is his first race in three years." " That's a big responsibility on your hands." " What responsibility?" " I don't have any responsibility." " Well, you gotta wake him up." " He'll get up." " Hi, Judy." " Hi, Elaine, how are you?" " Fine." " I've seen her in your building." " Yeah." " I didn't know she was married." " She's not." " And the guy just took off." " Don't say anything." " Who am I gonna tell?" " I know, it's just something you have to say." " George, we just got the final budget numbers." " We went over budget on some of the items but I don't think there's gonna be a problem." " I'll let you get back to work, George." " He overslept and missed the whole race." " lsn't that amazing?" " I'll tell you what happened." " I bet he got the a.m.-p.m.  mixed up." " My money's on the snooze." " I bet he hit the snooze for an extra five, and it never came back on." " Imagine, your whole life riding on an alarm clock." " Alarm clocks?" " No, I never use them." " Don't trust them." " What do you do?" " I have a mental alarm." " I set my head for quarter to 7 and..." "I get up." " lt always works?" " lt never fails." " See, it's based on your body clock." " Your body has an internal mechanism." " It knows what time it is." " What's with the bucket?" " Lomez, he sold me his hot tub." " Hot tub?" "  Yeah, it's in my living room." " I just gotta fill it." " You put a hot tub in your living room?" " It's a beauty." " It's got these high-volume accusage jets oscillating and pulsating, soothing your every aching muscle." " That water's gonna get over 120 degrees." " ls that tolerable?" " Oh, it's tolerable." " Isn't that the same temperature of the coffee that scalded you?" " I think it's a little cooler than that." " He doesn't have any running water?" " I don't ask those kind of questions anymore." " Jerry, this is Jean-Paul." " Hi, Jean-Paul, nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." " Sorry about the Olympics." " Me too." " Listen, I'm gonna go call work, see if I can get my deadline extended." " I can't come up with anything for this thing." " Catalogue-writer's block?" " Yeah, that's funny." " So, what happened?" " The snooze alarm, wasn't it?" " No, man, it wasn't the snooze." " Most people think it was the snooze, but no, no snooze." " A.m.-p.m?" " Man, it wasn't the a.m.-p.m." " It was the volume." " Oh, the volume." " Yes, the volume." " There was a separate knob for the radio alarm." " Oh, separate knob." " Yeah, separate knob." " Why separate knob!" " Why separate knob!" " Some people like to have the alarm a little louder than the radio." " Oh, please, man, please!" " It's not gonna happen again." " Not if I have anything to say about it." " Elaine, what's the alarm clock situation at your house?" " Jerry...." "It's a simple question." " I've got an alarm, okay?" " That old one?" " Didn't I miss a flight to Cleveland because of that clock?" " Flight to Cleveland?" " lt works." " Elaine." " lt works." "" Singing duo, Captain and...."?" " Tennille!" " Come on." " George I think you may be taking work too seriously." " Well, I've got a lot to do." " George, I'll tell you what I'd like you to do." " I'd like you to drop everything." " I have this fun little assignment." " There are some reps in from the Houston Astros for talks on that lnterleague Play and I want you to show them a good time." " Hey." " Sorry I'm late." " You're 40 minutes late." " What happened?" " I got held up." " Do you mind if I heat this muffin up?" " No." " What?" " What is the problem?" " You said you were gonna be here a certain time and you weren't." " And this all means what?" " It means that a man has come from very far away to compete in a very difficult race put his faith in you, and I'm a little concerned." " Oh, are you?" " Yes, I am." " Hey, I'm not running in the marathon, he is." " Yeah, I know that." " Yeah." " I've got enough to think about trying to come up with some crap for that Himalayan walking shoe." " I've given him a place to stay, I'll set an alarm but I'm not gonna turn my life completely upside down." " I'm not talking about upside down, I'm talking about waking him up." " Hey, Jean-Paul." " Jean-Paul, how was your soak?" " A good soak?" " Oh, man, very good soak." " The soak of the year." " What's burning?" " My muffin." " Shoot." " What happened?" " I don't know." " I set this thing for 20 seconds." " This was for two minutes, see?" " Don't say anything." " Don't say anything." " You mis-set the timer?" " Jean-Paul, it's not my microwave, okay?" " Okay?" " All right, listen, let's just go." " Come on, Jean-Paul." " Let's go." " Okay." " We'll see you at the race, okay?" " Yeah, I hope so." " Oh, that's cute." " Kramer, I'm telling you, Elaine doesn't know what she's doing." " I gotta take over this whole operation." " Jerry, look how tense you are." " You need to take a soak." " I'm not taking a soak in that human bacteria frappe you got going there." " I'm telling you, it's great." " I opened up all the windows." " The air is cold, the tub is boiling hot." " It's like Sweden, man." " Sweden." " Oh, yeah." " Till this bastard over here says;" ""Let's call the sons of bitches, go visit them in New York."" " Well, we're certainly glad that you could make it." " I like your organization, George." " We've been talking to a friendly son of bitch in the front office." " Wilhelm, I think his name is." " Oh, yeah, yeah, Mr. Wilhelm." " He told us George Costanza's gonna be taking us bastards out on the town." " We said, "That son of a bitch doesn't know what he's got in store for him."" " Finish your drink?" " Oh, yeah, almost." " Almost." " Let's get that bastard to bring us another round, huh?" " You a big drinker, George?" " Well, maybe not as much as this bastard." " I can hold my own." " Jean-Paul, I asked you down here because I am concerned." " Concerned that tomorrow is perhaps the biggest race of your entire career and the person with whom you have chosen to stay is...." "What are you saying?" " I'm saying, get the hell out of there!" " Let me put you in a hotel." " You'll be comfortable." " You'll be near the starting line, and most importantly you'll have a wake-up call, Jean-Paul." " A wake-up call." " Wake-up call?" " These people never fail." " They sit in a room with a big clock all night long just waiting to make that call." " No, I will stay with Elaine, it would be rude." " Hey, you bastards." " Hey, so how was the meeting?" " I really like those sons of bitches." " Sons of bitches?" " Yeah." " That's how they talk." " You know, everyone's a bastard or a son of a bitch." " Yeah, it's like, "Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit."" " Really?" " Yeah." " That's how they talk in the major league." " Oh, boy." " Hey." " How many sweaters you got on?" " Four." " Could I have a cup of tea, boiling hot?" " What's going on?" " I fell asleep in the hot tub, and the heat pump broke." " Water went down to 58 degrees." " I can't get my core temperature back up." " Your core temperature?" " Here, feel my hand." " Yeah, feel." " This son of a bitch is ice cold." " Hello?" " ls that you, George?" " Yeah, it's me." " Is this Clayton?" " Well, listen, you son of a bitch, you know where we are?" " Thirty thousand feet above your head, you bastard." " What are they doing letting you on an airplane?" " Don't they know that's against FAA regulation?" " Hush up now." " I can't hear." " Listen, I want you to send those agreements the minute you land." " Our boys can't wait to kick your butts." " When's that bastard coming to Houston?" " Zeke wants to know when you bastards are coming to Houston?" " Hey, you tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston." " Not as long as you bastards are running things." " Speak up, George, I can't hear you." " You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston." " Not as long as you bastards are running things." " George!" " Get ahold of yourself." " Mr." "Wilhelm." " What's the matter with you?" " It was a cold winter's night in Timbuktu." " This stinks." " Come on." " Come on." " Hello." " Hello." " I'm a friend of Elaine's." " Oh, hi." " Oh, look at that cute little bastard." " You are mommy's little bastard, aren't you?" " What are you doing harassing my tenants?" " Oh, come on, you son of a bitch, I'm just trying to be friendly." " All right, that's it." " Let's go." " Man, I got a race tomorrow." " It's like a furnace in here." " What the hell is going on?" " I turned up the heat." " Turn up the heat in your own apartment." " I'm freezing." " I just need to get my hot tub running." " I'm waiting for my new heat pump." " Well, what's in this giant box out in the hall?" " Oh, that must be it." " It's huge." " Yeah, I got the biggest one they had." " Yeah, it's industrial strength." " Sixteen thousand Btu's." " Hello." " Yeah, I can be there in 10 minutes." " You can count on me." " What?" " I got the call." " Jean-Paul?" " Jean-Paul." " Very lucky to find this hotel, Jean-Paul." " Man, I just want to get some sleep." " All right." " Let's check out the clock." " Notch good." " 6;50." " Volume check." " What kind of music you wanna wake up to?" " Top 40, Classical?" " Man, whatever." " How about adult contemporary?" " Fine, adult contemporary." " Just pick one." " All right." " We're going with adult contempo." " Now the fail-safe." " The wake-up guy." " Yes, yes, the wake-up guy." " Front desk." " Yes, this is room 419." " I'd like a wake-up call for 6;50 a.m. tomorrow morning." " Yes, sir." " That's room 419, 6;50 a.m." "Four-one-niner." " Yes, I got it, sir." " You only had to say it once." " But it's a very important wake-up call, and I don't wanna take any chances." " Every wake-up call I make is important." " You're no more important than any of our guests." " Well, I don't want to get into a thing with you here, but" "Are you through?" " Yeah, I am, but I just" "What is it?" " I think I offended the wake-up guy." " No, no." " No, no, I did." " I think he's got it in for me." " He doesn't have it in for you." " What if he doesn't call out of spite?" " lt is his job." " I'm not comfortable." " For God's sake." " Jean-Paul?" " Hey, Jean-Paul?" " Jean-Paul?" " Jean-Paul?" " Oh, man." " Oh, machine." " I'm not here." " Leave a message." " Jerry, Jerry, Jean-Paul is missing." " He's alone in the city." " Call me back." " Judy, hi, listen" "You have got some nerve, Elaine." " I told you about that baby in confidence." " Oh, I didn't tell anyone." " Well, your friend certainly seemed to know all about it." " Jerry!" " I feel much better here at my home base, Jean-Paul." " It's a controlled environment." " It's a marathon, you know?" " Twenty-six miles." " I need to get some sleep." " Hey, believe me, if I had been with you there in Barcelona you'd be polishing that medal right now." " I left a comfortable hotel bed for this." " That wake-up guy was trouble." " All right, I'll be right back." " Man, that thing is noisy." " We're cranking along pretty good." " We're almost up to 80 degrees." " Listen, do me a favour, set your mental alarm for 6;30 and give me a call." " Okay." " Done." " He's put his faith in you." " He's put his faith in you." " I trust Elaine, she is my friend." " I trust Elaine, she is my friend." " Frankly, I'm a little concerned." " I'm exhausted." " I've been on this street 1000 times." " It's never looked so strange." " The faces, so cold." " In the distance, a child is crying." " Fatherless." " A bastard child, perhaps." " My back aches." " My heart aches, but my feet...." "My feet are resilient." " Thank God I took off my heels and put on my Himalayan walking shoes!" " 4;02?" " 8;47?" " Jean-Paul!" " Wake up, wake up!" " Jean-Paul, the electricity went out!" " Wake up, wake up, we've gotta go!" " It's 8;47!" " 8;47?" " Come on." " Just put your clothes on." " You'll get dressed in the car." " Idiot, I trusted you!" " Kramer, what happened?" " The electricity went out." " Yeah, the heat pump blew all the fuses." " What happened to your mental alarm?" " Well, I guess I hit the snooze." " Make way." " Watch out." " I've got a runner here." " Get out of the way." " Make way, make way." " Make way, he's a contender." " Hey, hold it." " I'm late, man." " I'm in the race." " Go ahead." " Thank you, Jerry." " You're a wonderful driver." " Fantastic route, man." " All right, go." " It's a race." " Come on." " You wanted to see me?" " Yes, George, come in, come in." " Word has it you've been cracking under the pressure." " Can't cope, can't stand the heat." " Spit the bit." " Mr. Steinbrenner, I can explain" "We all get a little cuckoo." " I used to be like you." " Berating personnel, calling managers on the field during a game." " Threatening to move the team to New Jersey to upset people." " Then I found a way to relax." " I've got two words to say to you, George." " Hot tub." " I'm telling you, I never told anyone about that baby." " I never even went near your building." " Then how did she find out, Jerry?" " You should check with the rabbi." " You want some hot tea?" " Oh, no, thank you." " Oh, there's some runners." " Here they come." " There's Jean-Paul." " He's out front." " He's leading!" " Go, Jean-Paul!" " Yeah!" " Come on!" " One mile to go, Jean-Paul." " Go, Jean-Paul!" " How are you enjoying it, George?" " Melts that tension away, doesn't it?" " You gotta get that jet on the good spot." " Yes, that feels good." " Yes, that's real good." " Yeah, that's where I keep all my tension." " Right under that chicken bone." " I get my wife to stick her thumb right in there like a screwdriver." " The Phillips head, not the flat one." " Oh, God, those flat ones frustrate me." " You got it in, but it slips out." " Put it in again, it slips out again." " You a single man, George?" " Well, I just recently" "You wanna get something wild going on in your life get a girl and bring her in one of these." " It's like four shots of Wild Turkey." " She'll think you're Hopalong Cassidy." " Terrible about that Mickey Mantle, wasn't it?" " You know, we used to talk." " I don't think he liked me very much."