8.  The Time When the Milkoviches Dug a Grave in the Mary Kay Letourneau Stand-In’s Front Yard…

That is one way to get rid of the competition!  When Lip Gallagher discovered that a child predator lived in the neighborhood, he set up one of Shameless’ best gags when he gathers an eclectic posse of otherwise isolated factions to kick this guy’s ass.  Except it wasn’t a guy, it was a hot 20-something blonde teacher who likes them young.  Real young.  Lip still wanted her ass, but in a very different way.  After erstwhile-girlfriend Mandy Milkovich figures out what’s going on, she gathers Mickey and her other brothers to handle things the Milkovich way—a style far beyond those sissy Gallaghers. 

When Miss Thing opens her door one chilly evening, she meets a chipper Mandy, smiling as the big bros are four feet deep in a freshly dug hole in the garden.  Mandy gives her a choice: she can pack all the things she can in the next 15 minutes and go, or wait for the Milkoviches to reach the magic number of six feet and go in the hole.  As Mandy grins at one less predator in Chicago fleeing into the midnight darkness, anyone could tell that Mandy was more than a little disappointed she couldn’t fill the hole with more than her threat; luckily, her brothers had some other poor faceless schmo ready to go.  Never waste a perfectly good grave, especially in soil that soft! 

7.  The Time When Monica Attempted Suicide At Thanksgiving…

In a show like Shameless, ruining family gatherings is par for the course, not unlike death and taxes (as if the Gallaghers pay taxes!).  Yet, it took a special kind of narcissism during the finale of the second season when Monica decided that it was the perfect time to put the spotlight on her when everyone else is having a fine old feast!  Fiona and S-immy were back together for their last feel-good episode, Frank was actually behaving himself for the most part, and Carl killed a bald eagle!  Turkey and edible felonies for everyone! 

Yet, during the midst of the celebration where everything is going too normal, Hurricane Monica lives up to her moniker again when she goes into the kitchen to carve her own flesh for a change of poultry.  One of the few genuine Gallagher Family moments is ruined again by dear old mom, and Jimmy proves to be more of a father figure (which isn’t saying much) than Frank when he stops the bleeding and calls for the ambulance.  Frank sulks off in the corner to be Frank, and the youngest Gallaghers are forced to realize once more that they have the worst two parents on the planet.  Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.