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Okay, Larry, its time for the theme song Uh y-yeah, Bob What do I do? Hm, lets see Oh, I know! You play the guitar Bob, I dont have any hands Oh, youre right I know! You play this I dont want to play that, Ill look silly Oh come on, itll be fun! Nope, not gonna do it Its for the kids Oh, okay, but they better not laugh Alright! Better get on out there! If you like to talk to tomatoes If a squash can make you smile If you like to waltz with potatoes Up and down the produce aisle Have we got a show for you! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! VeggieTales! Broccoli, celery, gotta be VeggieTales! Lima beans, collard greens, peachy keen VeggieTales! Cauliflower Sweet and sour Half an hour VeggieTales! Theres never ever ever ever Ever been a show like VeggieTales! Theres never ever ever ever Ever been a show like VeggieTales! Its time for VeggieTales!
And now its time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one of his deepest fears... If my lips ever left my mouth Packed a bag and headed south Thatd be too bad, Id be so sad I see, thatd be too bad, youd be so sad? Thatd be too bad Alrighty If my lips said Adios I dont like you, I think youre gross Thatd be too bad, I might get mad Hm, thatd be too bad, you might get mad? Thatd be too bad Fascinating If my lips moved to Duluth Left a mess and took my tooth Thatd be too bad, Id call my Dad Oh dear, thatd be too bad, youd call your dad? Thatd be too bad Hold it! Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what youre saying is if your lips left you... Thatd be too bad, Id be so sad I might get mad, I call my Dad Thatd be too bad Thatd be too bad? Thatd be too bad Why? Because I love my lips! Oh, my! This is more serious than I thought Larry, what do you see here? Um, that looks like a lip What about this? Its a lip And this? Its a lip, its a lip, its a lip, lip, lip Its a lip, its a lip, its a lip, lip, lip Its a lip, its a lip, its a lip, lip, lip Liiiiiiiiiips, lip, lip, lip Larry, tell me about your childhood When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold And they turned blue What could I do? Oh dear, they turned blue, what could you do? Oh, they turned blue I see On the day I got my tooth I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth She had a beard, and it felt weird My, my, she had a beard and it felt weird? She had a beard Oh! Ten days after I turned 8 Got my lips stuck in a gate My friends all laughed And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar And I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee, right on the lip And we couldnt even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen And when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish Except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip, usta! Your friends all laughed. Usta. How do you spell that? I dont know So what youre saying is that when you were young... They turned blue, what could I do? She had a beard, and it felt weird My friends all laughed... Usta! Im confused I love my lips! Uh, Larry. Larry. Wait Larry, Larry! Thats about enough, thank you This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next week when we hear Larry say... Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose? Oh, look at the time!
And now its time for silly songs with Larry The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt, who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags The Pirates Who Dont Do Anything We are the pirates who dont do anything We just stay at home and lie around And if you ask us to do anything Well just tell you we dont do anything Well, Ive never been to Greenland And Ive never been to Denver And Ive never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul And Ive never been to Moscow And Ive never been to Tampa And Ive never been to Boston in the fall Cause were the pirates who dont do anything We just stay at home and lie around And if you ask us to do anything Well just tell you we dont do anything And I never hoist the mainstay And I never swab the poop deck And I never veer to starboard Cause I never sail at all And Ive never walked the gangplank And Ive never owned a parrot And Ive never been to Boston in the fall Cause were the pirates who dont do anything We just stay at home and lie around And if you ask us to do anything Well just tell you we dont do anything Well, Ive never plucked a rooster And Im not too good at ping pong And Ive never thrown my mashed potatoes Up against the wall And Ive never kissed a chipmunk And Ive never gotten head lice And Ive never been to Boston in the fall Huh? What are you talking about? What does a rooster or mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate? And whos ever kissed a chipmunk? Thats just nonsense, why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think? Huh? No I dont Do not Thats it, youre walking the plank Says the Captain Arrrgh And Ive never licked a spark plug And Ive never sniffed a stinkbug And Ive never painted daisies On a big red rubber ball And Ive never bathed in yogurt And I dont look good in leggings And weve never been to Boston in the fall Pa: Pass the chips! Who’s got the remote? Larry: Here it is! Lunt: Time for Geraldo! Pa: It’s definitely time for Wapner Lunt: Oh, I don’t like this show Larry: Hey, look! I found a quarter!
Everybodys got a water buffalo Yours is fast but mine is slow Oh, whered we get them? I dont know But everybodys got a water buffalo-oooooooooh I took my buffalo to the store Got his head stuck in the door Spilled some lima beans on the floor Oh, everybodys got a— Stop it, stop, stop right this instant! What do you think youre doing? You cant say everyones got a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo! Were going to get nasty letters saying Wheres my water buffalo? Why dont I have a water buffalo? And are you prepared to deal with that? I dont think so! Just stop being so silly! This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry sing... Everybodys got a baby kangaroo Yours is pink but mine is blue Hers was small but... AHHHH
He said to her, Id like a cheeseburger And I might like a milkshake as well She said to him, I cant get you either And he said, Isnt this Burger Bell? She said, Yes, it is but were closed now But we open tomorrow at ten He said, I am extremely hungry But I guess I can wait until then Cause youre his cheeseburger His yummy cheeseburger Hell wait for you, ya Hell wait for you Oh, you are his cheeseburger His tasty cheeseburger Hell wait for you Oh, he will wait for you He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise He may have dozed off once or twice When he spotted a billboard for Dennys Bacon and eggs for half price How could he resist such an offer? He really needed something to munch Cheeseburger, please do not get angry Hell eat and be back here for lunch Cause youre his cheeseburger His precious cheeseburger Be back for you Hell be back for you Wont be so long, cheeseburger Oh, lovely cheeseburger Be back for you Oh, hell be back for you Cause he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart And theres nothin gonna tear you two apart And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese He would get down on his hands and knees To see if someone accidentally Dropped some cheese in the dirt And he would wash it off for you Wipe it off for you Clean that dirty cheese off just for you You are his cheeseburger
And now its time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Larry will be performing the traditional Argentinian ballad The Dance of the Cucumber in its original Spanish. Bob the Tomato will translate Miren al pepino Miren como se mueve Como un león Tras un ratón Miren al pepino Que suaves movimientos Es como mantequilla En un chango pelón. Miren al pepino Los vegetales Envidian a su amigo Como él quieren bailar. Pepino bailarín Pepino bailarín Pepino bailarín ¡Baila, baila, ya! Miren al tomate. ¿No es triste? Él no puede bailar. ¡Pobre tomate! Él desearía poder bailar como el pepino Libre y suavemente. Pero el no puede danzar. OKAY, STOP THE MUSIC! What do you mean I cant dance?! I can dance! What about Uncle Louies polka party? Didnt you see me dancing at Uncle Louies polka party?! No comprendo No comprendo? Ill show YOU No comprendo! Mom! Dad! Look over here! Get a picture of me next to the cucumber in authentic Argentinian garb! Okay, Junior. But wed better hurry-I think the dwarves have your mother confused with someone else! Say Peas! Peas! Escuchen al pepino Oigan su voz fuerte Como un león Listo a devorar. Escuchen al pepino Que dulce es su canto Que soplo de su garganta parece un trinar. Escuchen al pepino Los vegetales Envidian a su amigo Como él quieren cantar. Pepino cantador Pepino cantador Pepino cantador ¡Canta, canta, ya! Escuchen al tomate. ¿No es triste? Él no puede cantar. ¡Pobre tomate! Él desearía poder cantar Fuerte y dulce como el pepino. Pero él no puede ¡Ni siquiera da un silbido! All right, thats it, <1>señor! Come over here and let me sing YOU a song! ¡Adiós, amigos! This has been Silly Songs With Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry sing: Bob is really angry! I hope he doesnt catch me! Its so hard to run with this sombrero on my head!
Oh, no! What we gonna do? The king likes Daniel more than me and you Oh, no! What we gonna do? We gotta get him out of here Oh, no! What we gonna do? The king likes Daniel more than me and you Oh, no! What we gonna do? We gotta get him out of here We could throw him in the dungeon We could let him rot in jail We could drag him to the ocean Have him eaten by a whale We could throw him in the Tigris, let him float a while Then well all sit back and watch him meet a hungry crocodile We could put him on a camels back and send him off to Ur With a cowboy hat without a brim, a boot without a spur We could give him jelly doughnuts, take em all away Or we could fill his ears with cheese balls and his nostrils with sorbet We could use him as a footstool or a table to play Scrabble on Then tie him up and beat him up and throw him out of Babylon Or.... Yeah... Mmhmm... Oh! I like it! Its sneaky! And it just... Might... Work! We could use him as a footstool or a table to play Scrabble on Then tie him up and beat him up and throw him out of Babylon! The very next morning, the wise men appeared before King Darius to try to trap Daniel with their scheme... You wanted to see me? Ahem...
Baby, I know your eyes see right through my disguise Baby, that Im the one whose love is no surprise But theres a secret Ive been hidin I cant keep it no more ((Theres this thing about himself Hes never told you before)) Baby I dont got a belly button Oh, I need to tell you something He dont got a belly button Belly button no, oh no, no... Baby, please dont squeal, just tell me how you feel And if you went away, my heart would never heal Theres something missing in my middle And its hard to ignore (Theres this thing about himself Hes never told you before) Baby I dont got a belly button Oh, I need to tell you something He dont got a belly button Belly button no, oh no, no... Belly button? Belly button? You say your belly buttons missing Theres no reason for alarm Its a common thing for gourds It wont do you any harm Youre technically a fruit And with that much being said Your umbilical equivocal Is up there on your head! You could opt for a prosthetic But of course, youd have to know Itd be covered by your shirt But not your HMO! Belly button Belly button A stylish something absent From my midriffs decor (Theres this thing about himself Hes never told you before) Baby I dont got a belly button Oh, I need to tell you something He dont got a belly button Belly button, no, oh no, no... No belly button...
This little light of mine, Im gonna let it shine This little light of mine, Im gonna let it shine This little light of mine, Im gonna let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine Hide it under a bushel - NO! Im gonna let it shine Hide it under a bushel - NO! Im gonna let it shine Hide it under a bushel - NO! Im gonna let it shine, Let it shine Let it shine, let it shine Dont let Satan blow it out Im gonna let it shine Dont let Satan blow it out Im gonna let it shine Dont let Satan blow it out Im gonna let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine Let it shine til Jesus comes Im gonna let it shine Let it shine til Jesus comes Im gonna let it shine Let it shine til Jesus comes Im gonna let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine This little light of mine, Im gonna let it shine This little light of mine, Im gonna let it shine This little light of mine, Im gonna let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
My God is so big So strong and so mighty Theres nothing my God cannot do My God is so big So strong and so mighty Theres nothing my God cannot do The mountains are His The rivers are His The stars are His handiwork too My God is so big So strong and so mighty Theres nothing my God cannot do
Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the first day of first grade, Ill tell you what he did He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair First aid in the first grade First aid in the first grade First aid in the first grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the second day of second grade, Ill tell you what he did He slipped on a banana peel, flew up in the sky Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye First aid in the second grade First aid in the second grade First aid in the second grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the third day of third grade, Ill tell you what he did He fell out of a fishing boat, splashed into the sea Landed on a moray eel who bit him on the knee First aid in the third grade First aid in the third grade First aid in the third grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the fourth day of fourth grade, Ill tell you what he did He went out on a tadpole hunt, slipped into the creek Landed on a large-mouth bass who bit him on the cheek First aid in the fourth grade First aid in the fourth grade First aid in the fourth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the fifth day of fifth grade, Ill tell you what he did He went into the garden shop looking for a rose Sniffed a babys breath and got a bee caught up his nose First aid in the fifth grade First aid in the fifth grade First aid in the fifth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the sixth day of sixth grade, Ill tell you what he did He went out on a field trip, the first one of the year Backed into a sabertooth and pierced both of his ears First aid in the sixth grade First aid in the sixth grade First aid in the sixth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the seventh day of seventh grade, Ill tell you what he did He tried out for the talent show to show how well he sung Cracked a grin, a wasp flew in, and stung him on the tongue First aid in the seventh grade First aid in the seventh grade First aid in the seventh grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the eighth day of eighth grade, Ill tell you what he did He tried to play some basketball went up for a dunk Landed in the bushes and got squirted by a skunk First aid in the eighth grade First aid in the eighth grade First aid in the eighth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the ninth day of ninth grade, Ill tell you what he did He fed the pigs on grandmas farm, two piglets and a sow Slipped on their slop and then got stepped on by a cow First aid in the ninth grade First aid in the ninth grade First aid in the ninth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the tenth day of tenth grade, Ill tell you what he did He went out on some water skis and hit a sunken log Wiped out all the lily pads, got spit on by a frog First aid in the tenth grade First aid in the tenth grade First aid in the tenth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the eleventh day of eleventh grade, Ill tell you what he did He swept and missed an alley cat while taking drivers ed Ran into a tree and bumped the dashboard with his head First aid in the eleventh grade First aid in the eleventh grade First aid in the eleventh grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now... Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the twelfth day of twelfth grade, Ill tell you what he did He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan First aid in the twelfth grade First aid in the twelfth grade First aid in the twelfth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!
And now its time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Larry the Cucumber Presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event: The Song of the Cebu! begins his Cebu slideshow, with Junior Asparagus and Jimmy and Jerry Gourd as his audience Cebu! This is a song about a boy A song about a little boy and his cebus A song about a little boy and his three cebus The little boy who had a sick cebu A sad cebu And a mute cebu And also a hippo Larry keeps sliding through, but his Cebu slideshow got mixed with his vacation photos Um...um... This is me at the airport This is my Aunt Ruth This is me at a bullfight This is me fighting a bull Oohhh! This is me and the bull Ahhh! This is me and the bull and... I think thats the bulls cousin Hes a cebu! suddenly, Archibald Asparagus runs in, interrupting Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector a-and a bed sheet! And what on Earth is a cebu, anyway? Its kinda like a cow Larry shows a slide of a cebu and a cow next to each other, demonstrating their similarities See? Y-yes Well, very good This could be interesting Carry on! Cebu! Sing it with me! Cebu! Cebu! now the song begins in earnest Boy is riding with cebu Boy is riding with cebu Into town in his canoe Into town in his canoe Sick cebu is rowing and sneezing Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo moo moo! Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo moo moo! Hippo chewing on bamboo Hippo chewing on bamboo Cant see boy and three cebu Cant see boy and three cebu Sad cebu is rowing and crying Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo moo moo! Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo moo moo! Cebu! Cebu! Cebu! Cebu! Achoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Achoo moo moo Boo-hoo moo moo Cebu! Hippo seen by mute cebu Hippo seen by mute cebu Tries to tell the other two Tries to tell the other two Mute cebu is waving and grunting Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm Mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm sudddenly, the slides run out Uh-oh then an annoyed Archie comes right back Wait! What happens next? Umm... Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebu successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebu sad? Is the canoe wood o-or aluminum? sees more vacation photos Oh look! Theres me and Bob at Sea World! Oh, wow Oooohhhhhhh! Forgot about that one Theres me and that bull again You cant just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, Ive come to expect a lot more from you This is quite disappointing! Im going to have to speak to Bob about this Oh look, a cebu! Cebu! No, wait ... thats a water buffalo No more song about cebu Need another verse or two Audience is standing and leaving Bye-bye moo moo Bye-bye moo moo Bye-bye moo moo Bye-bye moo moo moo moo! I want my money back! Yeah, thatd be...thatd be good
One day while he was waiting for the trolley, he had a hat My high silk hat He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat My high silk hat A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly Now fancy this and fancy that The splendor of his hat in all its majesty Like a king in a royal cap I feel so swell and handsome in my hat I bet that others wish they had in fact A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a high silk hat Oh Mr. Art Bigotti, now what do you think of that? Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly I must in fact share more than that For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly Of chocolate this and chocolate that Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy A chocolate bliss, a chocolate snack Confections such as these are more than candy Somewhat like life, a box of that I have my chocolate placed upon my lap I feel so good, you just cannot top that I have my snack, a chocolate pack, of chocolate this and chocolate that Oh golly Mr Nezzer, now what do you think of that? Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter Upon his hat and his chocolate snack So beneath his hat he thought and pondered What should I do to save my hat? He thought and contemplated as he perspired Beneath his hat, upon his lap He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire Into a pool a chocolate vat I wont feel grand if I take off my hat The suns getting hot and my hat just might go flat My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that Oh, hurry Mr Trolley before my dapperness goes flat He decided to fore go his looks so dashing To save his hat and little snack So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him And put his hat on top of that Oh please! Oh please, oh please! Dont anybody sit close to me, upon my hat I ask, if all of you could be so kindly And just stand back, away from my snack A great big squash just sat upon my hat A great big squash just squished my hat real flat He squashed my hat, he made it flat He squished my snack, oh what of that? Oh tell me anybody, now what do you think of that? A great big squash just sat upon his hat A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat He squashed his hat, he made it flat He squished his snack, oh what of that? Oh golly, uh, whats your name? Theyve never given me a name I have been around since show one and I still dont have a name Now what do you think of that?
And now its time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished his morning bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Larry cries out... Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where... Is my hairbrush? Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Pa regains his composure and reports... I think I saw a hairbrush back there! Back there is my hairbrush Back there is my hairbrush Back there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back there, back there, back there... is my hairbrush Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Junior regains his composure and comments... Why do you need a hairbrush? You dont have any hair! Larry is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to him. No hair? What would this mean? What will become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Larry wonders... No hair for my hairbrush No hair for my hairbrush No hair, no hair, no where, no hair, no hair, no hair, no where, back there, no hair... For my hairbrush Having heard his wonderings, Bob the Tomato enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Bob regains his composure and confesses... Larry, that old hairbrush of yours... Well, you never use it, you dont really need it, so... Well, Im sorry ... I didnt know But I gave it to the Peach - cause hes got hair! Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments... Not fair, oh, my hairbrush Not fair, my poor hairbrush! Not fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no where, no hair, not fair, not fair, not fair! My little hairbrush! Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene. Himself in a towel, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Larrys generosity, the Peach is thankful... Thanks for the hairbrush Yes, good has been done here. The Peach exits the scene. Larry smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls out... Take care of my hairbrush Take care, oh my hairbrush Take care, take care, dont dare not care, take care, nice hair, no fair, take care, take care... Of my hairbrush The end! Applause
Narrator: Its Christmas Eve, and Larry is anxiously awaiting the Arrival of Santa Claus with a plate of cookies. Larry: Oh, Santa! I cant wait for you to come, I just cant wait for You to come, and Ive got cookies! Three yummy cookies! Just for you for When you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because its Christmas! Larry: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who Brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me? Narrator: Larry is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but crafty Bankrobber! Larry: Who are you? Bankrobber: Im a bankrobber! And Ive come to rob your bank, oh yes! Ive come to rob your bank, and Ive come to take your dimes and swipe Your nickels. So stand back, step aside you silly pickle! And let me In! Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Larry makes an offering. Larry: Im not a banker ... I have no bank my robbing friend, but I Have cookies--three yummy cookies. And I dont have nickels, but please Take this my robbing friend. Eat one of these my robbing friend. They Are for Santa, but you may have one. Narrator: The bankrobber is truly touched by Larrys good will. But Larry, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa. Larry: Oh, Santa! I cant wait for you to come, I just cant wait for You to come, and Ive got cookies! Two yummy cookies! Just for you for When you come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because its Christmas! Bankrobber: Im a robber! I came to rob your bank, oh Yes! I came to rob your bank ... you shared a cookie--a yummy cookie Though Id love to take your dimes, perhaps another time--because its Christmas! Larry: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who Brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me? Narrator: Once again, it is not Santa who has come to Larrys door, but This time a savage Norseman. Larry: Who are you? Viking: Im a viking! And Ive come to take your land, oh yes! Ive Come to take your land, and Ive come to burn your crops and steal your Horses. And Ive come to ... step on your chickens! And soil your Quilts! Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Larry makes an offering. Larry: I dont have land ... I dont have crops, my viking friend, but I have cookies--two yummy cookies. And I dont have horses, but please Take this my viking friend. Eat one of these my viking friend. They are For Santa, but you may have one. Narrator: The viking is also touched by Larrys good will. But Larrys Thoughts are still with Santa. Larry: Oh, Santa! I cant wait for you to come, I just cant wait for You to come, Ive got a cookie! A yummy cookie! Just for you for when You come, oh me, for you for when you come ... because its Christmas! Viking: Im a viking! I came to take your land, oh Yes! I came to take your land ... you shared a cookie--a yummy cookie Though Id love to soil your quilts, I dont think that I wilt ... Because its Christmas! Larry: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who Brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me? Narrator: Larry is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service. Larry: Who are you? Peach: Im from the IRS! And Ive come to tax your ... Larry: Oh, Santa! I cant wait for you to come, I just cant wait for You to come ... Its finally Santa! Its finally him! At last, the one Who brings presents for a cucumber like me, a good cucumber like me! Santa: Im Santa! And Ive come to bring you gifts, oh yes! Ive come To bring you gifts, and Ive come to stuff your stockings--oh ho-ho-ho! And Ive come to jiggle my belly. And wiggle my nose ... Hey, wait a Minute! Isnt that my belt? And what are you doing with my hat? So Youre the ones! Bankrobber: Wait a minute, I can explain! Viking: Weve changed! Santa: Nobody messes with Santa! You know that dont you!? Youve been Very naughty! And Ive got a list! Peach: Did you claim that? Larry: Merry ... Christmas
Now, kids, were gonna sing along with one of my favorite songs, The Bunny Song Monsieur Bob! Were not supposed to sing the Bunny Song! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Thank you for pointing that out, Jean-Claude, but this is the new and improved Bunny Song This is the one were supposed to sing! I see The bunny, the bunny Whoa, I ate the bunny I didnt eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny The bunny, the bunny Oh! I love the bunny But now i feel sick in the head from the bunny I didnt eat my salad, I didnt eat my steak I had too much candy, got a tummy ache I need to eat good food to help me to grow Ill obey my momma cause she loves me so Ya, Ill go to church and Ill go to school That stuff is important, and I aint no fool! I dont want no pickles, I dont want no honey I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny I dont want a tissue when my nose is runny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny I dont wanna tell you a joke that is funny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny I dont wanna play on a day that is sunny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny The bunny, the bunny Whoa! I ate the bunny I didnt eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny The bunny, the bunny Oh! I love the bunny But now I feel sick in the head... From the bunny!
Ive got peace like a river Ive got peace like a river Ive got peace like a river in my soul Ive got peace like a river Ive got peace like a river Ive got peace like a river in my soul Ive got love like an ocean Ive got love like an ocean Ive got love like an ocean in my soul Ive got love like an ocean Ive got love like an ocean Ive got love like an ocean in my soul Ive got joy like a fountain Ive got joy like a fountain Ive got joy like a fountain in my soul Ive got joy like a fountain Ive got joy like a fountain Ive got joy like a fountain in my soul Ive got peace, love and joy like a river Ive got peace, love and joy like a river Ive got peace, love and joy like a river in my soul Ive got peace, love and joy like a river Ive got peace, love and joy like a river in my soul
And now its time for silly songs with Larry the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song Got the munchies on that fateful night round 8: 00, so I phoned in a pizza for delivery I had a feeling that something wasnt right, no pizza I set the table with a paper plate How would I know that itd be late? Its taken so long, where could it be? Had a 30-minute guarantee Pizza angel, please come to me Tomato sauce and cheese so gooey Pizza angel, Im on my knees Youre my #1 pie from Sicily Did it get lost, did they just forget Should I have ordered on the Internet? Ready for dinner, now Im not so sure I think my sodas room temperature Pizza angel, please come to me Tomato sauce and cheese, so gooey Pizza angel, Im on my knees And dont forget to add my favorite anchovies Ya ya ya I was concerned for my delivery 8 little slices of heaven for me Cant stop thinking it would make me smile When I tasted my first Chicago style Goin crazy while I pace the floor Then my heart skipped when I heard the door! I opened the door in expectation, but it was the saddest sight I ever saw Inside I could smell the aroma of deep-dish goodness, but the box was empty The house number was broken so I couldnt find you, I was getting kinda hungry so I ate your pizza. Sorry about that, you dont need to tip me or anything Pizza angel, please come to me Tomato sauce and cheese so gooey Pizza angel Im on my knees Youll live forever in my memory Pizza angel, please come to me Tomato sauce and cheese so gooey Pizza angel, Im on my knees I will miss you for eternity Ill never forget you, pizza angel
And now its time for Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. The part of the show when Bob comes out & sings an Ukulele Karaoke Uh, whats going on? Youre doing the Ukulele Karaoke, no? No, Im on break. This is the Pirates... They are busy with the rest of the show B-But I dont know the song Youre lyrics, monsieur. Bring in the props! But- Wakiki! Your island breeze, monsieur! Hold on a sec! Im totally unprepared to do a solo! Your back-up singers Huh? Isnt that the- Oui, they are the Wiggly Turtle Tubies! The Wiggly Turtle Tubies? They look taller on TV So do you, tomato! But really, this is Larrys gig! I cant just-- The show must go on, monsieur! Quick, that is your que! Just follow the lyrics But... Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Well, I keep a little turtle at my Uncle & my Aunts My aunties name is Myrtle, & my island turtles name is Lance He doesnt wander far, even if he gets the chance He just plays his ukulele & he does the hula dance! What? Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night Invited all his turtle friends to come & have a wiki bite The turtles started walking there as Lance began to swing The one who lived across the street arrived there in the Spring! Oh, I get it! Turtles are slow, so it took him a long time. Thats pretty good Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! But Lance just kept on cooking, he was grilling full of glee! He was marinating ribs cause he liked- Syrup with his feta cheese? I-Im sorry, I- Lances purple turtle shell has ketchup if you please Pineapples are shiny! Spotted tiki bumblebees?! Oh, man! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Wait a minute, guys. I dont think this is right. It doesnt make any sense! It works for us! Ha-ha! But- The song! The song! There are luscious chocolate fingers, swimming slowly in the school Mele Kalikimaka Fluffy bunnies driving in the pool! Uh, Larry?! Thousand igloos wax the beach, spray luggage in the trees! Raining puppies, flying clowns Flossing punahele- Ow! Oh, forget it Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance! Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance! This has been Ukulele Karaoke with Bob. Tune in next time to here Bob say Ill be in my dressing room
Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning Give me oil in my lamp, I pray Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning Keep me burning till the break of day And I will sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King of kings Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King Give me joy in my heart, keep me praising Give me joy in my heart, I pray Give me joy in my heart, keep me praising Keep me praising till the break of day And I will sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King of kings Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King of kings Give me gas in my ford, keep me tracking for the Lord Give me gas in my ford I pray Give me gas in my ford, keep me tracking for the Lord Keep me tracking till the break of day And I sing, sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King of kings Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King Give me ........... in my gumption Help me function, function, function Give me ........... in my gumption, I pray Give me ........... in my gumption Help me function, function, function Help me function till the break of day Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King of kings Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna Sing Hosanna to the King Sing Hosanna to the King
Here we go. Zacchaeus was a wee little man And a wee little man was he. Very little He climbed up in a sycamore tree For the Lord he wanted to see. Hello! And as the Savior passed that way He looked up in the tree And he said, Zacchaeus, you come down, for Im going to your house today Yes, Im going to your house today Zacchaeus was a wee little man And a wee little man was he very little He climbed up in a sycamore tree For the Lord he wanted to see. And as the Savior passed that way He looked up in the tree And he said, Zacchaeus, you come down, for Im going to your house today. Yes, Im going to your house today Zacchaeus was a wee little man and happy little man was he. Zacchaeus saw the LORD that day, and what a happy little man was he Cuz as the Savior passed his way he looked up in the tree And he said Zacchaeus, you come down What a happy little man was he What a happy little man was he
When I was a boy I went to church back home in Arizona And it was there I learned the tale of a man whose name was Jonah Now Jonah was a prophet, but thats not why hes remembered They tell the tale, Cause in a whale he nearly was dismembered! Jonah was a prophet Oo-ooh! But he really never got it Sad but true! And if you watch him you can spot it A-doodley-doo! He did not get the point! Compassion and mercy from me to you and you to me Exactly what god wants to see and yes that is the point! Jonah was a prophet Oo-ooh! But he really never got it Sad but true! And if you watch him you can spot it A-doodley-doo! He did not get the point! Now Jonah Set Sail On A Pirate ship In a dreadful gale Got eaten up by a giant whale There is no more to be said Now poor old Jonah And now hes all alone-ah Got to use a megaphone-ah To get it through to his head-HEY! Jonah was a prophet Oo-ooh! But he really never got it Sad but true! And if you watch him you can spot it A-doodley-doo! He did not get the point! Now during your life you probly dont ride on a camel And you probly wont wake up inside a large aquatic mammal But now in your life there is something you can do Everyone deserves a second chance to come from you! Compassion and mercy from me to you and you to me Exactly what god wants to see and yes that is the point! Jonah was a prophet Oo-ooh! But he really never got it Sad but true! Jonah was a prophet!
And now its time for Schoolhouse Polka with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a schoolhouse polka Whether, whether, whether, whether Whether you like it or not Weather, weather, weather, weather Weather is cold, warm and hot Two, two, two, two Two of my favorite toys Im bringing to, to, to, to A place the first one enjoys… And I like it, too! Homophones! Homophones! Where the crews come cruising down the plane! Homophones! Homophones! I need my kneaded biscuits plain! I know a pear, pear, pear, pear With a pair of really soft shoes He wears them to pare, pare, pare, pare Bushes that easily bruise I planted rows, rows, rows, rows Of a horribly bad smelling rose Now no one knows, knows, knows, knows If the scent will be leaving my nose! But most likely no Oh! Homophones! Homophones! Where the toads are towed out on the plane! Homophones! Homophones! I need my kneaded biscuits plain! Whether, whether, whether, whether Whether you like it or not Weather, weather, weather, weather Weather is cold, warm and hot This has been Schoolhouse Polka with Larry, tune in next time to hear Larry sing Whaaaaat happened to my preposition I took it on an expedition Put it by the thing I keep my fish in Got infected with a skin condition! And Im a pronoun Theyre a pronoun Hes a pronoun Shes a pronoun Wouldnt you like to be a pronoun too? And... It was the biggest bluest cleanest brightest quickest newest roundest nicest softest tallest toughest lightest smoothest kindest flattest tightest most amazing adjective Id ever seen And... Im done Interjections? Adverbs? Ah No Alrighty
I have the joy, joy, joy, joy Down in my heart, Down in my heart, Down in my heart I have the joy, joy, joy, joy Down in my heart, Down in my heart to stay And Im so happy, so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart And Im so happy, so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart I have the love of Jesus, love of Jesus Down in my heart, Down in my heart, Down in my heart I have the love of Jesus, love of Jesus Down in my heart, Down in my heart to stay And Im so happy, so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart And Im so happy, so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart Ive got the wonderful love of my precious redeemer Way down in the depths of my heart Down in my heart, Down in my heart, Ive got the wonderful love of my precious redeemer Way down in the depths of my heart Down in my heart to stay And Im so happy, so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart And Im so happy, so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart
The bunny, the bunny, whoa, I love the bunny I dont love my soup or my bread, just the bunny The bunny, the bunny, yeah, I love the bunny I gave everything that I had for the bunny I dont want no health food when its time to feed A big bag o bunnies is all that I need I dont want no buddies to come out and play Ill sit on my sofa, eat bunnies all day I wont eat no beans, and I wont eat tofu That stuff is for sissies, but bunnies are cool! I dont want no pickles, I dont want no honey I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny I dont want a tissue when my nose is runny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny I dont want to tell you a joke that is funny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny I dont want to play on a day that is sunny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny The bunny, the bunny, whoa, I love the bunny I dont love my soup or my bread, just the bunny The bunny, the bunny, yeah, I love the bunny I gave everything that I ha-a-a-ad... For the bunny
You were lying in your bed You were feeling kind of sleepy But you couldnt close your eyes because the room was getting creepy Were those eyeballs in the closet? Was that Godzilla in the hall? There was something big and hairy casting shadows on the wall Now your heart is beating like a drum Your skin is getting clammy Theres a hundred tiny monsters jumping right into your jammies! What are going to do? Im going to call the police! No! You dont need to do anything! What? Why? Because... God is bigger than the boogie man Hes bigger than Godzilla, or the monsters on TV Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man And Hes watching out for you and me So, when Im lying in my bed And the furniture starts creeping Ill just laugh and say, Hey, cut that out! And get back to my sleeping Cause I know that Gods the biggest And Hes watching all the while So, when I get scared Ill think of Him And close my eyes and smile! God is bigger than the boogie man Hes bigger than Godzilla, or the monsters on TV Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man And Hes watching out for you and me So, are you frightened? No, not really Are you worried? Not a bit I know whatevers gonna happen That God can handle it Im sorry that I scared you when you saw me on TV Well thats okay Cause now I know that God is taking care of me! God is bigger than the boogie man Hes bigger than Godzilla, or the monsters on TV Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man And Hes watching out for you and me One more time! God is bigger than the boogie man Hes bigger than Godzilla, or the monsters on TV Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man And Hes watching out for you and me Watchin... Watchin... Watchin... Out for you and me! Yeah!
Its time to talk about what we learned today And so what we have learned applies to our lives today And God has a lot to say in His book You see, we know that Gods word is for everyone And now that our song is done, well take a look
Jesus loves the little children All the children of the world Red & yellow, black & white Theyre precious in his sight Jesus loves the little children of the world Jesus cares for all the children All the children of the world Black and yellow, red and white Theyre all precious in His sight Jesus cares for the children of the world Jesus came to save the children All the children of the world Black and yellow, red and white Theyre all precious in His sight Jesus came to save the children of the world Jesus came to save the children of the world
And now its time for Silly Songs with Larry The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song We join Larry as he follows the tragic saga of Barbara Manatee In the daytime drama Endangered Love Larry: Barbara Manatee You are the one for me Sent from up above You are the one I love Please dont cry Bar-ba-ra Youre a nice manatee Youve been so good to me But I must go into the world and do noble things for the good of all And you cant come because you dont speak French Au revoir But if you leave, Bill Who will take me to the ball? Whos gonna take me to the ball, Bill? I have a new dress and shoes And new manatee lipstick Who will take me to the ball? Ill take you to the ball, Barbara Manatee! Please dont go I must! Dont go! I must! Dont! Must! Dont dont! Must must! Barbara Manatee You are the one for me Sent from up above You are the one I love Barbara Manatee Ill be your mon amie Ill take you to the ball I hope youre not to tall Bill, Ive learned French You have? Mais, oui. Je suis manatee. See? Oui, oui mon amie! I always knew you could I really hoped you would Now can we go into the world and do noble things for the good of all? Yes, but first, Bill Will you take me to the ball? Oh, Bill, will you take me to the ball? ...I cant dance You cant!? No I must go Please dont go I must Dont go! I must! Dont! Must! Dont dont! Must must! Barbara Manatee You are the one— Larry? What are you doing? Just... watchin a little TV... Bob Well... maybe you should read a book Yeah, ok This has been silly songs with Larry Tune in next time to hear Bill say... Oh Bar-ba-ra, Ive learned to dance Oh, Bill
And nows it time for Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry The part of the show where Larry comes out And sings an obscure Broadway show tune Without further ado from the unknown musical Office Supplies, the heart-rending love song Where Have All The Staplers Gone? We dont have much time before the big meeting No, no, we dont Have you seen the scissors, miss? Theyre in the bottom drawer I tried that drawer but theyre there no more Thats odd I know I thought for sure Have you seen the masking tape? Its right next to the phone Thats what I thought but nows it not I guess I should have known Oh, where have all the staplers gone? What happened to our paper clips? The ballpoint pens are gone again Theyre gone again The stick-it pads have lost their stick Do you remember when The rubber bands were in their place? Theyre in the middle drawer Middle drawer, middle drawer Light bulbs easy to replace Yes, there were always more Reams of paper raining down Raining, raining down Legal pads a plenty, were legal Highlighters in every hue, I remember Never less than twenty Oh, where have all the staplers gone? What happened to our paper clips? The ballpoint pens are gone again Theyre gone again Weve run out of packing slips Someday my prints will come Please replace the toner Someday well find more of Our manila folders Someday my prints will come Wheres the printer cable? Someday well find more of Adhesive shipping labels Oh, where have all the staplers gone? What happened to our paper clips? Paper clips The ballpoints are gone again Theyre gone again The Sharpies all have flattened tips Where have all the staplers gone? This has been Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry Tune in for act two, revenge of the Staplers
Have you ever seen a boy with funny clothes? A girl with braces on her teeth or freckles on her nose? Some kids call them oddballs, some kids call them weird Is it my imagination, or does Aunt Ruth have a beard? God makes lots of people in all colors, shapes, and sizes He loves them very much and what we need to realize is That calling people names because theyre different is wrong Instead we need to look on them in love and sing this song I can be your friend, I can be your friend Any day, in any weather We can be friends and play together Yeah, were all pretty different, some are skinny, some are stout But the inside is the part that were supposed to care about Aye, thats where weve got feelings that are very much the same So, instead of weirdo, I think friends a better name I can be your friend , I can be your friend If your hair is red or yellow We can have lunch, Ill share my jello I can be your friend , I can be your friend Its okay if we are different We can still play cause I can be your friend
Youre feelin pretty blue You didnt do what God requested Yeah, Id be mopin too, if I was gonna be digested This aint a pretty picture, no I said, it aint a pretty sight, no You ran from God this morning and youre Whale chow tonight! But hold up, hang on Not so fast, your life aint over yet See, were here to tell you all about The forgiveness that you can get You see Gods a God of mercy Gods a God of love And right now, Hes gonna lend A helping hand from up above Praise the Lord, Hes the God of second chances Youll be floored how His love your life enhances You can be restored from your darkest circumstances Our God is a God of second chances! Aint it good to know a God who gives a second chance? Why, thats enough to get a smile from Mr. Grumpy-Pants So, if you say youre sorry for all the stuff you do We know that Hell be ready with a second chance for you Praise the Lord, Hes the God of second chances Youll be floored how His love your life enhances You can be restored from your darkest circumstances Our God is a God of second chances Our God is a God If you believe, Gods love is true Then you should know what you should do If you believe, Gods love is true Then you should know what you should do If you believe, Gods love is true Then you should know what you should do If you believe, Gods love is true Then you should know what you should do God gives a second chance Second chances, second chances Praise the Lord, Hes the God of second chances Youll be floored when youre restored from your darkest circumstances Our God is a God of second chances Second chances, second chances Praise the Lord, He is the God of second chances Youll be floored when youre restored from your darkest circumstances Our God is a God of second chances If you believe, Gods love is true Then you should know what you should do If you believe, Gods love is true Then you should know what you should do Second chances, second chances Praise the Lord, Hes the God of second chances Youll be floored when youre restored from your darkest circumstances Our God is a God of second chances Our God is a God Our God is a God Second chances, second chances Second chances, second chances Second chances, second chances Second chances, second chances
If it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey Even if it has a monkey kinda shape If it doesnt have doesnt have a tail its not a monkey Well maybe we could catch it on the tape If it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey if it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey its an ape Look! There it goes! In the trees I dont know I cant tell if its a monkey or an ape Its quite simple, Bob If it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey if it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey its an ape Larry, Im not sure youve got your logic quite right The zookeeper lady said it Who am I to tell her shes wrong? Sure, but I dont think she meant... If it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey if it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey its an ape A kite has a tail Its a monkey A camera doesnt have a tail Its an ape If it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey if it doesnt have a tail its not a monkey its an ape Finally The time is here Quick Take a picture Is it an ape? A monkey! Uh, Larry, thats a cow
My Day As sung by: Junior Asparagus In my bed I start to pray And tell God all about my day I woke up in my little bed And put my hat upon my head Cleaned my room And cleared my dishes Told mom breakfast was delicious I went to school, learned something new And tried to follow every rule I studied my vocabulary Had some fun with Bob and Larry And so its good to know How much you love me Its true, the Bible says you do You really love me Your love was with me all throughout my day I somehow overlooked my bed It seems my dog is underfed Forgot to change my underclothes Watched one too many T.V. shows I had some trouble sharing toys And during rest time, made some noise The walls are not for coloring Sometimes Im off-key, when I sing And so its really good to know How much you love me Its true, the bible says you do You really love me Your love was with me all throughout my day In my bed so quietly I rest in knowing: God loves me!
Raise the mast on the steadfast Swept to their bareback seahorse Say they gonna try the sea course Who could survive such a dangerous mission Alongside pirates with zero ambition We got the coconuts poured We drop the hooks overboard And if you get a little seasick We play the Haddock for a Hat trick We got the hammocks on the main deck Swingin low We got the butler doin the hen-peck Screamin so He say we shoulda been swabbin the poop deck We dunno Its what the other pirates do, do but were bringin you Yo ho heroes standin in the gap Whered you put the toys, time to take a nap Yo ho heroes, flighty as a bird, easy is the word Yo, Im seein no heroes Were on a limbo craze Its a relic from our limber days Now were stuck inside the Limbo-Zone Its where the pirates go with too much time And a missing spine Yo ho heroes, standing in the gap Whered you put the map, take another nap Yo ho heroes, strike a better pose, thats the way it goes Yo, Im seein no heroes Were on the Bad Mood Swing We havent done one thing Not even a minimum daily requirement We got the funk without the Parliament And if youre feelin a little seasick, rise and shine And if you wanna get off the guilt trip, nows the time Because the Captain of the Main Ship, rings the chime He could be comin before you know him What are you gonna show him Go hero, standing in the gap Takin up the slack, followin the Kings Map Go hero, steady as a rock, I know its a shock Yo, there be a hero Go hero, standin in the gap Takin up the slack, followin the Kings Map Go hero, steady at the wheel, keep an even keel Yo, there be the Kings hero
Chicken! Kung Pow Chicken! Mongolian Chicken! Sweet and sour Chicken! Cashew Chicken! Do the moo shoo Moo shoo shoo moo moo shoo muh moo shoo moo moo shoo shoo moo moo shoo shoo Do the moo shoo Pork! Mandarin Pork! Barbeque Pork! Sweet and sour Pork! Spicy shredded Pork! Pork Do the tofu To foo foo to to to foo foo fo fo to n to to n fo fo STOP! Break a fourtune cookie Beware of grape with wooden mallet Aint that the truth
The Announcer: And now its time for a VeggieTales Christmas Party. The part of the show where we join our veggie friends at their annual Christmas party Well into an evening of caroling and fun, the caterer has yet to arrive and the guests are quite hungry! Jimmy: Man, I’m starving Jerry: Im so hungry, I could eat a reindeer Jimmy: Oh, yeah? I could eat twelve reindeer, and a sled Jerry : Oh, yeah? I could eat twelve sleds... Pa Grape: Hey Bob, have any Ritz Bitz? Bob: Im sorry Pa, not yet. The food’s not here yet Larry: Hey look everybody! Its Oscar the Polish Caterer with the food! Oscar: Hello everyone! I hope youre hungry! Bob: Oh, thank goodness youre here, Oscar! What took you so long? Oscar: The Kowalski wedding, those people eat like you wouldnt believe... Jimmy and Jerry: We believe! Bob: Well, whatya bring us? Oscar: Whatd I bring you? Whatd I bring you?! I tell you what I bring you!! The first Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party A boiled potato topped with dill weed The second Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Two steamed perogies Jimmy: Ahh, what’s a perogi? Oscar: It’s dough. Wrapped around meat Jimmy: Oh! All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Oscar: The third Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Three simmered gołąbkis Larry: Whats a gołąbki? Oscar: It’s cabbage. Wrapped around meat Larry: Oh Jimmy: Two steamed pierogies All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Oscar: The fourth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Four baked paprikas Archibald: Now, what is a paprika? Oscar: Its a bell pepper, stuffed with meat Archibald: I see Larry: Three simmered gołąbkis Jimmy: Two steamed perogies All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Oscar: The fifth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Five smoked kielbasas Pa Grape: Whats a kielbasa? Oscar: Its pretty much just meat Pa Grape: Oh Archibald: Four baked paprikas Larry: Three simmered gołąbkis Jimmy: Two steamed perogies All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Oscar: The sixth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Six fried chruścikis Bob: Let me guess, something in the meat family? Oscar: Actually, it’s a delightful pastry with a thin flaky crust Others: Ohhhh! Pa Grape: Five smoked kielbasas Archibald: Four baked paprikas Larry: Three simmered gołąbkis Jimmy: Two steamed perogies All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Bob: Whoa Oscar, Im gettin kinda full... Oscar: The seventh Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Seven pitted prunes Junior: I dont like prunes Oscar: With this food, youll need em, son Archibald: Oh, is that right Pa Grape: Uh huh Bob: Six fried chruścikis Pa Grape: Five smoked kielbasas! Oy! Archibald: Four baked paprikas Larry: Three simmered gołąbkis Jimmy: Two steamed perogies All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Pa Grape: Im gonna bust! Oscar: The eighth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party Eight poppy seed cakes Larry: Poppies! Pa Grape: Theres no place like home Junior: Seven pitted prunes Bob: Six fried chruścikis Pa Grape: Five smoked kielbasas! Archibald: Four baked paprikas Larry: Three simmered gołąbkis Jimmy: Two steamed perogies All: And a boiled potato topped with dill weed Announcer: This has been a VeggieTales Christmas Party. Tune in next time to hear Oscar say... Oscar: Anybody wanna lick the spoon?
Good morning, George, how are you? I hope youre feeling fine Id like to stay and talk, but its almost 8 oclock And I havent got the time! See ya later! Because we work real hard at the chocolate factory We start at 8, and we dont get lunch till 3 Ive got to drive a truck to make a buck So I can send it home to my family! Well now you are in trouble Your timecard is a wreck Its almost two past eight Ill tell Nezzer that youre late And hell take it from your check! Yes, Mr. Lunt... Oh, yes, we work real hard at the chocolate factory! Excuse me, Mr. Lunt, but Ive got an injury! Now get back on the line Youll be just fine! With all this work to do weve got no time for sympathy! We use to be so happy We use to laugh and run Now theres no time to play Cause we gotta work all day And it isnt very fun! Im Rack! Im Shack! Im Benny! We work here in the plant Wed like to take a break, for goodness sake But Mr. Nezzer says You cant! Ha! We all need a vacation Our schedule is severe Were getting very tired But stopping gets us fired So well have to stay right here Because we work real hard at the chocolate factory We start at 8, and we dont get lunch till 3 We work the whole week through to make a buck or two So we can send it home to our families! Some day theyll come and join us Well live in harmony We hope that day is near Until then youll find us here At the Nezzer Chocolate Factory!
Im busy, busy, dreadfully busy Youve no idea what I have to do Busy, busy, shockingly busy Much, much too busy for you Oh, I see Were busy, busy, dreadfully busy Youve no idea what we have to do Busy, busy, shockingly busy Much, much too busy for you Cause were busy , busy , frightfully busy More than a bumblebee, more than an ant Busy , busy , horribly busy Wed love to help, but we cant! Ta ta!
Rock-a-bye, baby, in the treetop When the wind blows, the cradle will rock When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall And down will come baby, cradle and all Baby is drowsing, cozy and fair Mother sits near in her rocking chair Forward and back, the cradle, she swings And though baby sleeps, he hears what she sings Rock-a-bye, baby, in the treetop When the wind blows, the cradle will rock When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall And down will come baby, cradle and all Rock-a-bye, baby Rock-a-bye, baby Rock-a-bye, baby Rock-a-bye, baby Rock-a-bye, baby
Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey Was a really clumsy kid On the first day of first grade Ill tell you what he did He tripped over a pencil box Flew up in the air Landed on a kangaroo Who pulled out all his hair He needed first aid in the first grade First aid in the first grade First aid in the first grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Oh, Billy Joe McGuffrey Was a really clumsy kid On the second say of second grade Ill tell you what he did He slipped on a banana peel Flew up in the sky Landed on a chimpanzee Who poked him in the eye He needed first aid in the second grade First aid in the second grade First aid in the second grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey Was a really clumsy kid On the third day of third grade Ill tell you what he did He fell out of a fishing boat Splashed into the sea Landed on a moray eel Who bit him on the knee He needed first aid in the third grade First aid in the third grade First aid in the third grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Mr. Asparagus: Twelfth grade! Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey Was a really clumsy kid On the twelfth day of twelfth grade Ill tell you what he did He walked into financial aid Fell and broke a bone Showed them all his bills And got a great big college loan He needed first aid in the twelfth grade First aid in the twelfth grade First aid in the twelfth grade You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!
Phillipe: Hello, Jean-Claude! It appears theres a problem in the sea. There’s a little hole, and its accumulating a lot of junk! Jean-Claude: Oh ho! Theres a hole in the bottom of the sea There’s a hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a hole Theres a hole Theres a hole in the bottom of sea Phillipe: See? I told you Jean-Claude: Wa-hoo! Phillipe: Uh huh! Theres a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a log Theres a log There’s a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: But that’s not all! Weve only just begun! There’s a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a bump Phillipe: Ooh! Theres a bump Phillipe: Ooh! There’s a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Oh, I love this song, Jean-Claude! Jean-Claude: Wonderfully repetitive, Phillipe! Theres a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Ha ha! Theres a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a frog Theres a frog Theres a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Oh boy, this is crazy! Jean-Claude: Its getting nuts, no? Theres a fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Oh ho! Theres a fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a fly Phillipe: Uh huh! Theres a fly Theres a fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Oh, Im getting dizzy! Ok, again! Jean-Claude: Oh, here we go! Theres a wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Oh ho! Theres a wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a wing Theres a wing Theres a wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: Oh ho, Jean-Claude, you are looking green! Jean-Claude: But of course! Theres a flea on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a flea on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a flea Jean-Claude: Mm-hm! Theres a flea Jean-Claude: Mm-hm! Theres a flea on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Theres a flea Theres a flea Theres a flea on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea Phillipe: In the bottom of the seeea! Jean-Claude: Thankfully, the flea is clean! Phillipe: Oh yeah!
Jonah: Do not fight Do not cheat Wash your hands before you eat There is nothing quite as sweet- A message from the Lord Be a friend Say your prayers Heaven loves a heart that cares That is why Ive come to share a message from the Lord And if you follow Gods commands There will be peace throughout the land You will live long and happy lives... With your sheep - your kids - your wives Dont eat pigs Dont eat bats Dont eat beetles, flies, or gnats Stay away from all of that A message from the Lord Do whats right Dont provoke Put four tassels on your cloak Do not laugh, its not a joke A message from the Lord Veggie People: Do not fight Do not cheat Wash your hands before you eat There is nothing quite as sweet- A message from the Lord Be a friend Say your prayers Heaven loves a heart that cares That is why he came to share a message from the Lord And if we follow Gods commands There will be peace throughout the land We will live long and happy lives... With our sheep - our kids - our wives Do whats right Dont provoke Put four tassels on your cloak Do not laugh, its not a joke A message from the Lord Jonah: Dont do drugs Stay in school Scribe: This is quite a lot of rules! Jonah: Follow them and youre no fool-uh.. Veggie People: Follow them and youre no fool-uh.. Jonah: Follow them and youre no fool... All: A message from the Lord Jonah: Follow them and youre no fool... All: A message from the Lord A message from the Lord
Asparagus Singers: Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Lean and mean green machine! Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Out of sight, veg-o-mite! Larry-Boy! Nicole C. Mullen: Who do they call when Bumblyburgs in trouble? Whos got the suit with super-suction ears? Theres no need to panic, cause this guys manic And you know that hell save the day! You need a hand, hes right there on the double Hey, hey, hes on the way Purple and yellow! Hes one super fellow! Asparagus Singers: Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Lean and mean green machine! Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Out of sight, veg-o-mite! Larry-Boy! Nicole C. Mullen: Where do you turn when this world needs a hero? A man with style and plungers on his head? Its easy to prove hes just one of the grooviest Cats that youll ever know Its plain to see in fashion hes no zero At the wheel of the Larry-mobile Purple and yellow! Hes one super fellow! Asparagus Singers: Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Lean and mean green machine! Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Out of sight, veg-o-mite! Larry-Boy! Long may the voice of freedom reign! Larry-Boy: I am that hero! Asparagus Singers: Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Lookin great! Fashion plate! Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Lean and mean green machine! Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Out of sight, veg-o-mite! Larry-Boy! Larry-Boy! Lean and mean green machine! Lookin great! Fashion plate! Out of sight... Larry: Dynomite! Asparagus Singers: Larry-Boy!
Have you heard the one about Alfred? A dangerous robot, Im told Hes got lasers for eyes and a microchip brain His skin is terribly cold Weve heard the one about Alfred Its strange, amazing! But true! But now that weve heard about Alfred Wed like to hear more about you! Moi? Im a rumor weed! Im a rumor weed! A tiny little story is all I need To make a big mess Im a rumor weed! So what is a rumor? It starts as a story Maybe its true, maybe not But once you repeat it Its hard to defeat it Now look at the mess that youve got Uh, huh Yeah, Alfreds a robot Everyone knows! The story is all over town We rumor weeds know how a rumor can grow Just like a big weed in the ground! Im a rumor weed! Yes, its true! Im a rumor weed! Ooh, ooh, ooh! A tiny little story is all I need To make a big mess, Im a rumor weed! Im a rumor weed! Yes, its true! Im a rumor weed! Ooh, ooh, ooh! A tiny little story is all I need Youd better watch out for the rumor weed Im a rumor weed! Shes a rumor weed! Im a rumor weed! Yeah, a rumor weed! A tiny little story is all I need Youd better watch out for the rumor weed A tiny little story is all I need Youd better watch out for the rumor weed
Salesman #1: Allow us to introduce our selves Were neighbors Salesman #2: We moved in down the street! Salesman #1: Some say were the most delightful bunch Of fellows Salesman #3: Youll ever want to meet! Salesman #1: And if you have a moment to spare Kind lady with beauty so ... rare Wed like to take a minute or two On a topic of interest to you Salesmen: We represent the Stuff Mart Salesman #2: An enormous land of goodies Salesman #1: Would you mind if we stepped in, please? Salesmen: And as associates of the Stuff Mart Salesman #1: It looks like you could use some stuff! I pray that you wont take this wrong, my dear But initial observation is as follows: The criminal responsible for this decor Really should be hanging from the gallows! Salesmen: We represent the Stuff Mart Salesman #2: A magic land of retail Salesman #3: Would you care to see whats on sale? Salesmen: Then as a customer of the Stuff Mart Get ready for some real nice stuff! Salesman #2 and #3: Check it out! Check it out! Salesman #1: If you want a big hat Salesman #2 and #3: We got that! Salesman #1: If you need a tube of glue Salesman #2 and #3: We got that too! Salesman #1: A 20-gallon wok? Salesman #2 and #3: Theyre in stock! And if you need refrigerators To keep extra mashed potatoes Or a giant air compressor To blow fruit flies off your dresser Or a dehydrated strudel Or a nose ring for your poodle Or a five-pound can of tuna And some flippers to go scuba Scuba! Scuba! Scooby-doo-be-doo-ba! Here we go, scuba! Come on! Salesman #1: If you need a rubber hose Salesman #2 and #3: We got those! Salesman #1: A rhododendron tree Salesman #2 and #3: We got three! Salesman #1: A wrap-around deck Salesman #2 and #3: Gotta check! But if you need a window scraper And a gross of toilet paper Or a ratchet set and pliers And surround sound amplifiers And a solar turkey chopper Or a padded gopher bopper Flannel shirts for looking grungy And some rope for goin bungee Bungee! Bungee! Bungee-wun-gee-fun-gee! Here we go, bungee! Come on! Salesman #1: What weve mentioned are only just some Salesman #2: Of the wonderful things yet to come Salesman #1: These pictures you keep are so ... nice Salesman #3: But you really should take our advice Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart! Salesmen: All you need is lots ... more ... stuff! Salesman #2 and #3: You really, really ought to! Madame: How could I afford not to? Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart! Salesmen: All you need is lots ... more ... stuff!
This is my commandment That you love one another That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you love one another That your joy may be full That your joy may be full That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you love one another That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you serve one another That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you serve one another That your joy may be full That your joy may be full That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you serve one another That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you love one another That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you love one another That your joy may be full That your joy may be full That your joy may be full This is my commandment That you love one another That your joy may be full That your joy may be full!
Announcer: And now its time for Helpful Humanitarian Songs with Mr. Lunt, the part of the show where Mr. Lunt comes out and sings a Helpful Humanitarian Song Lunt: Well hes a mangy old pet If you saw him I bet Youd walk the other way So sad and alone With his hair overgrown Like a stinky old toupee But doggies have feelings, and doggies need love And doggies like those deep fried treats That come from up above Ohhh! Donuts for Benny Please give.. a glazed to make his smile Thank you, maam! Poor troubled beast Wont you at least Comfort him awhile? Sir, can you spare a... donut for Benny Please help my doggy friend Thank you kind sir! A honey dip would really help His broken heart to mend... Well just look at this pup He is brightening up Hes looking not so weak Oh Benny! His outlook was grim Till you gave pastries to him Oh look, he wants to speak... Oh, doggies have feelings! And doggies need love! And doggies like sweet, doughy treats that come from up above! Benny: Waltz me around again baby! Around, around, around! These donuts are dreamy! Their filling is creamy! Oh! Dont let my feet touch the ground I feel like a ship On an ocean of joy I just want to holler out loud SHIP AHOY! Waltz me around again baby! Around, around, around! Lunt: Maybe... you shouldnt have any more donuts Townspeople: Oh, doggies have feelings Lunt: No no no no! Dont give him any more! Itll make him crazy! Townspeople: Doggies need love Lunt: No, no more donuts for the dog! Oh man, this is a terrible idea Townspeople: And doggies like sweet, doughy treats that come from up above! Benny: Waltz me around again baby! Around, around, around! These donuts are dreamy! Their filling is creamy! Oh! Dont let my feet touch the ground I feel like a ship On an ocean of joy I just want to holler out loud SHIP AHOY! Waltz me around again baby! Around, around, around! Announcer: This has been Helpful Humanitarian Songs with Mr. Lunt, tune in next time to hear Mr. Lunt say... Lunt: Dont..give...donuts...to dogs!!
Hi, Junior, how was your day, today? My plate, my art Art Begotti limited edition collector plate What happened to it? Well, its Lauras fault, she broke the plate, I tried to stop her She said she had to demonstrate her apple chopper The apple chopper worked just great But chopped right through your bowling plate Its Lauras fault, she broke the plate, its true And thats the tale I have to tell to you Oh my, if thats what she said happened then Well, I trust you Junior Actually, Laura didnt break the plate It was, it was Lenny Her brother? Yep, thats great, Lenny broke the plate Ill tell you the whole story Its Lennys fault, he broke the plate, hes very naughty Just how was I to know he hated Art Begotti? He gave it to a crocodile, who chewed it up for quite awhile Its Lennys fault, he broke the plate, its true And thats the tale I have to tell to you
Jean Claude: Now Madame Blueberry was a sad little berry She lived by herself in a house in a tree Her butlers would show up each morning at nine Theyd open the door to hear Madame whine Madame: Im so blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo hoo! Im so blue I dont know what to do! Bob and Larry: Shes so blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo hoo! Shes so blue she dont know what to do! Jean Claude: Her butlers, whose names were Bob and Larry Would help her with chores in her house in a tree Bob would wash dishes for Larry to dry Madame would stack them and then start to cry Madame: Im so blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo hoo! Bob and Larry: Shes so blue she dont know what to do! Madame: These dishes are faded, their edges are chipped! This rose is on backward and this one is flipped! These spoons are too tiny, these forks are no good! These knives have gone dull and dont slice like they should! Madame: My neighbors have nice things, Ive seen them myself In fact, I keep pictures up here on my shelf! Look at this new flatware of Monsieur LaGoons And Monsieur DesPlanes has twelve Franklin mint spoons! And Phillip Van Pea went and bought a new sink Why, he even has a disposal, I think! And look at this crock pot of Madame Lacrosses And ceramic jars where she keeps all her sauces! Nice sauces... Im so blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo hoo! Bob and Larry: Shes so blue she dont know what to do! Madame: Just look at this sofa of Edward and Tammys And lovely armoire where they keep all their jammies! I really cant stand it, I think I may die! Now where was that hanky? Im going to cry! Too late! Bahaahaa! Im so blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo Blue-hoo-hoo hoo! Im so blue I dont know what to do! Bob and Larry: Shes so blue! Madame: Im so blue! All: Shes so blue-hoo-hoo hoo! Shes so blue she dont know what to do!
Narrator: And now its time for The Blues with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings the blues Larry: Hey, everybody! I’m gonna lay down some blues All sunshine and roses No rain came my way I said, all sunshine and roses No rain came my way. Mm-mm My dad bought me ice cream Oh, happy, happy, happy, happy day! Mm hm. I ate up that ice cream, got some on my face Thats right, right on my face I said, I ate up that ice cream Got some on my face Got some on the table Oh happy, sticky, happy, sticky, happy, happy, sticky, happy place Blind Lemon Lincoln: Hey man, whatcho doin? Larry: I’m singin the blues! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Aw, man, the blues is for singin when you feel sad Larry: But I dont feel sad Blind Lemon Lincoln: Man, then you got no business singin the blues Here, lemme help you out Take this Larry: Cool! Ice cream! Thanks! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Now gimmie back that ice cream Larry: You took my ice cream You took it from me You took my ice cream You took it away from me Blind Lemon Lincoln: Oh yeah! Now youre gettin it Now listen up Larry: But Im still not sad. I’ll just have a ... cookie! Blind Lemon Lincoln: No, no, no, man! You almost had it C’mon, like this You took away my ice cream! You took it away from me My sweet creamy ice cream I dont care ’bout no cookie, woo! Now try it again Larry: My cookies and ice cream: They both gone away Blind Lemon Lincoln: Thats right. Mm hm. Feel it Larry: My cookies and ice cream: they both gone away Blind Lemon Lincoln: Aw, sweet man, sweet Larry: But that dont bother me none! I got me my freshly baked... Strudel! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Wha? Strudel? Man, you cant say strudel in the blues! That don’t even rhyme Larry: Well , what about... poodle! Cause I got a poodle Poodle: Arf! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Oh, no. Dont tell me youre gonna eat that poodle Larry: No, Im just gonna pet him! Pettin poodles makes me happy Poodle: Arf arf! Blind Lemon Lincoln: Sorry, man. You way too happy to sing the blues Polka Guy: Allo! Would you like to polka? Larry: Sure! Dont got no ice cream, no cookies, no strudel Dont got no ice cream, no cookies, no strudel But Im yodel-a-dee, yodel-a-dee yodel-a-dee happy-hoo! Just here with my poodle Poodle: Arf! Larry: Thats right! Oh yeah! Im yodel-a-dee, yodel-a-dee, yodel-a-dee happy-hoo! Just me and my poodle Poodle: Arf arf! Announcer: This has been The Blues with Larry, tune in next time to- Oh, never mind Larrys not likely to be singing the blues again any time soon
This is the song that runs under the credits These are the credits, so this is where it goes Has nothing to do with the movie so well say Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey hey hey hey There once was a song, that ran under the credits That went with the movie, but this is not that song Has nothing to do with the movie so well say Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey hey hey hey Wouldnt it be nice if the song under the credits Had something to do with the movie you just saw But thats not the case so for now well have to say Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey hey hey hey There should be a rule that the song under the credits Remotely pertains to the movies basic plot That rule has not been made so for now well have to say Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey hey hey hey Larry: Im gonna go home and take a nap! Pa Grape: Come on, we have contractual obligations to finish the song Mr. Lunt: They paid for a full 79 minutes of entertainment, pal! Get back in the booth! Larry: Wake me up for the prequel! Pa Grape: Oh, come on! We were just starting to have fun! Oh man, I need a Tums. Mr. Lunt: What? What, are we done? You mean thats it? Zim-bom-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-bing? Hey, hey, ho ho ho, Hey hey, ho ho ho, hey hey... If you need me, Ill be on the porch.
We are the grapes of wrath Well never take a bath It is our style to seldom smile And never laugh! We are the grapes of wrath So stay out of our path Theres no escape from cranky grapes We are the grapes of wrath Im Ma! Im Pa! This is our brood Were grumpy and we know it Thats Tom and Rosey Theyre both rude! And not afraid to show it! Were not the folks youd like to meet We bicker by the hour While other grapes are nice and sweet Were really rather sour! As we go driving by I may spit in your eye! Or throw a snake in your milkshake To make you cry Cause were the Grapes of wrath So stay out of our path Theres no escape from cranky grapes We are the grapes of wrath Theres no escape from cranky grapes We are the grapes of wrath
Your Highness I believe there is much to fear Really? Those Peonis are no longer here A much greater danger may await you now Hows that possible? With permission, Your Highness, Ill tell you how Go on... Its my duty to inform you and if Im correct To ignore this great emergency would be neglect Its the motto of my office Serve and protect There are those who walk among us who show no respect Really? The law must be adjusted There are those who cant be trusted Oh, my goodness Tell me about these people A sneaky little family who do sneaky little things Who stick their sneaky noses into matters of the king I fear if theyre not dealt with -- The prospect makes me weep -- A zucchini-shaped sarcophagus is where youll sleep Really? The nerve! I am disgusted! There are those who cant be trusted That sure doesnt sound like a nice family Nope Your Highness I believe we must act with speed Agreed, say the word Ill give you what you need A simple solution but you must act now Well, how can I help? With permission, Your Highness, Ill tell you how Go on... After careful calculation Ive got just the thing Well send to the dreaded isle of tickling But before I can take action We have to close the deal And it needs the kingly imprint of your royal seal I agree! They must be busted! There are those who cant be trusted That sneaky little family who do sneaky little things Who stick their sneaky noses into matters of the king For crimes against the kingdom The punishment is steep! The isle of endless tickling is where theyll sleep The law is now adjusted For those who cant be trusted Ha! Mordecai is busted! There are those who cant be trusted
I like your car I like yours too Is it a Jeep? A Subaru I like your tires Youve got nice chrome A trailer hitch? Left mine at home Oh, your suspension, it suspends me Over heights Ive never known And your roll bar is to die for By the way I like your chrome You already said that Did I? Yeah Oh Oh, you and me in our sport utility vehicles Crusin to 7-11 for a bag of Frito lays Oh, you and me in our sport utility vehicles Well slam into four wheel and pick up a dozen eggs And if there ever was a snow, you know A really, really deep snow And if everyone was stuck but us Wed be the ones not stuck Then we could be the heroes We could be the heroes Yeah, we would be the heroes We would push them and pull them Push them and pull them Push them and pull them, right out of the snow I like your car I like yours too Periwinkle? Its baby blue Hows it handle? Like a dream How bout coffee And then ice cream Oh, you and me, in our sport utility vehicles Crusin to Dunkin Donuts for a cup of steaming Joe Oh, you and me, in our sport utility vehicles Well slam into four wheel drive for a scoop of rocky road And if, we ever go campin, you know Havent been but one day, Ill go And we find a ranger stuck in a ditch A nice ranger in a deep ditch Then we could be the heroes Oh, we could be the heroes Yeah, we would be the heroes We would push him and pull him Push him and pull him Push him and pull him, right out of that ditch I like your car I like yours too Is it a Jeep? Its my sport utility vehicle
What are you doing? We are going to knock your wall down By walking around in circles? Yes Its not cause were crazy or anything Our God told us to do it this way Huh... Thats a great idea! You go ahead and keep walking Keep walking, but you wont knock down our wall Keep walking, but she isnt gonna to fall! Its plain to see your brains are very small To think walking will be knocking down our wall You silly little pickle, you silly little bean You think that walking round will bring this city to its knees? The awesome power of this wall, weve clearly demonstrated Ah! But out here in the hot, hot sun, perhaps youre dehydrated? I pity them Philippe Ah, mais oui, Jean-Claude, mais oui... Wont you join me in my irritating little song? It would be an honor Keep walking, but you wont knock down our wall Keep walking, but she isnt gonna to fall! Its plain to see, your brains are very small To think walking, will be knocking down our wall Keep walking, but you wont knock down our wall Keep walking. But she isnt gonna to fall! Its plain to see, your brains are very small To think walking, will be knocking down our wall Its plain to see That your brains are very small To think walking Will be knocking down our wall!
Lullaby and good night, youre your mothers delight Shining angels beside my darling abide Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes, rest your head Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes, rest your head Go to sleep, goodnight, goodnight Go to sleep, goodnight, goodnight Go to sleep, goodnight, say goodnight When Im sleepy, sometimes I watch TV What do you do, Larry? When I sleep, I count sheep as I stare at the ceiling There go 3 sheep, there go 4, soon youll hear me start to snore Mommy, help me count to 20, that will surely be plenty Mommy, help me count to 20, that will surely be plenty Go to sleep, goodnight, goodnight Go to sleep, goodnight, goodnight Go to sleep, goodnight, say goodnight Im just gonna lie down on this couch Lullaby, say goodnight, little child, sleep tight Snuggle softly in your bed, you can rest your sleepy head You are precious, my dear, know that God holds you near You are precious, my dear, know that God holds you near You are precious, my dear, know that God holds you near
The Lord has given this land to us No need to fuss, He knows what Hes doing We know that He will take care of us If we will follow Him Gods way is the best way Now that I know, He loves me so His way is the best way! And thats the way for me! The Lord has given His Word to us No need to fuss, He knows what Hes doing We know that He will take care of us If we will follow Him Gods way is the best way Now that I know, He loves me so His way is the best way! And thats the way for me! The Lord has given this land to us No need to fuss, He knows what Hes doing We know that He will take care of us If we will follow Him Gods way is the best way Now that I know, He loves me so His way is the best way! And thats the way for me! The Lord has given His Word to us No need to fuss, He knows what Hes doing We know that He will take care of us If we will follow Him Gods way is the best way Now that I know, He loves me so His way is the best way! And thats the way for me! Gods way is the best way Now that I know, He loves me so His way is the best way! And thats the way for me! And thats the way for me!!
Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark Old man Noah build the Ark He build it out of hickory bark He build it long, both wide and tall With plenty of room for the large and small Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark In came the animals two by two Hippopotamus and kangaroo In came the animals three by three Two big cats and a bumble bee Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark In came the animals four by four Two through the window and two through the door In came the animals five by five The bee came swarming from the hive Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark In came the animals six by six The elephant laughed at the monkeys tricks In came the animals seven by seven Giraffes and the camels looking up to heaven Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark In came the animals eight by eight Some was on time and the others was late In came the animals nine by nine Some was a laughin and some were cryin Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark In came the animals ten by ten Time for the voyage to begin Noah said, Go shut the door The rains started fallin and we cant take more. Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah Who built the ark? Brother Noah built the ark
Oh, its not so scary down here A little musty, not so scary Oh, no! What am I gonna do? It looks like Im gonna end up as lion stew! Dont cry, Daniel! Fear not, Daniel! Dont you know youre not alone? There is One who is watching you He listens when you pray And though it seems this time you wont get through God has made a way! Even though he still didnt know what to expect, Daniel felt better when he remembered that God was taking care of him, even in the lions den
He has a shoe, and I have a pot But when we look deeper theres more that weve got God made us special, and now I can see If youre special to Him then youre special to me! Love your neighbor When someone helps you then youll understand When you love your neighbor Loving means lending a hand! If you see someone whos hurt or in need Maybe its time to perform a good deed And when youve finished youll find that its true When you make them feel better, youll feel better too! Here, let me help you Thank you! Oh, love your neighbor When someone helps you then youll understand When you love your neighbor Loving means Lending a hand!
And now its time for silly songs with Larry The part of the show where Larry comes out and a silly song There once was a boy who lived in a house And the house sat under a tree By the tree ran a fence that stretched far and wide Round The Gated Community Can I have my ball? Can you get my ball? I kicked it into the tree And my ball bounced up, and my ball dropped in To The Gated Community Oh, The Gated Community is where we like to be Everything’s so lovely, oh, our hearts are filled with glee And when you come to visit, you can stand outside and see What a lovely bunch we are in our gated unity Um... Can I have my ball? Can you get my ball? I kicked it into the tree And my ball bounced up, and my ball dropped in To The Gated Community Oh, The Gated Community is where we like to be Our clothes are never dirty and the lawns are always green And when you come to visit, you can stand outside and see What a tidy bunch we are in our gated unity The Gated Community, we think you will agree Is pleasantly devoid of unsightly stray debris The Gated Community is where well always be Our smiles are white cause we’re inside in comfy custody And when you come to visit, you can stand outside and see {Come on, you stand outside} What a smiling bunch we are in our gated unity Can I have my ball? Can you get my ball? I kicked it into the tree And my ball bounced up, and my ball dropped in To The Gated Commu- To The Gated Commu- {To The Gated Community} This has been silly songs with Larry Tune in next time to hear Larry say {Thank you}
Quartet: There lived a man so long ago, his memorys but faint Was not admired like president or saint But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets For a special cure wouldnt come from other vets Woah... Doctor Larry: This is a song for your poor, sick penguin Hes got a fever and his toes are blue But if I sing to your poor, sick penguin He will feel better in a day or two Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-lee-eee-ooo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yada-yada yada-yada yad-eee-ooo Nurse Pa: Hes gone a little loopy, in case you havent heard Heres a couple pennicilin for your sickly, arctic bird Quartet: No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut The wonderous deeds that went on in that little Alpine hut Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veternarian of the Alps Woah... Pa: Good news on the penguin, doc! Hes up and kickin! Larry: This is a song for your pregnant kitty Shes looking nauseous and a week past due But if I sing for your pregnant kitty She will feel better in a day or two Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-lee-eee-ooo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yada-yada yada-yada yad-eee-ooo Pa: Jump in your car, drive into the city Buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty Quartet: The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day When the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay The doctor pondered this awhile, sat back and scratched his scalp, then said: No way, Jose To the nurse of the Yodeling Veternarian of the Alps Woah... Pa: Good news on the kitty, doc. Shes feelin great. Six kittens. Named one after you. Larry: This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy He looks uncomfy, think Id be too But if I sing for your bear-trapped teddy He will beel better in a day or two Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-lee-eee-ooo Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo Yada-yada yada-yada yad-eee-ooo Bear: Grooooowlll! Pa: Oh, yeah. Thatll work. Hes good. Larry: Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! No, wait! This should work! Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! Quartet: Now the moral of the story, its the point we hope weve made When you go a little loopy better keep your nurse well paid Larry: Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hoo Yodel-odle-odle-aye-de-aye-de-ooo-ooo-ooo Quartet: Oh, some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veternarian of the Alps Larry: Yodel-ooo
You know that in love we can forgive It is the only way to live Obey God and see That we can live in harmony! Since God has forgiven us, its true You forgive me, Ill forgive you Im gonna start To show forgiveness from my heart! Whoa, super! Wow, that was great! If only there was a way for us to get back home... Yeah.... Well, at least were all friends again! Hey, has anybody seen the professor? Nope W-ah! Hey! Do you like it? I made it entirely out of bamboo and coconuts! Pretty good, huh? Well, climb aboard! Hey, Bob? Yeah, Larry? Um, next summer, lets just sell lemonade, like everyone else That sounds like a good idea You know that in love we can forgive Hey man! It is the only way to live Obey God and see that we can live in harmony! Since God has forgiven us, its true You forgive me, Ill forgive you Im gonna start to show forgiveness from my heart So do your part And show forgiveness from your heart He-he-he-he!
Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a King Like other kings, he had a really neat castle To live in, and a lovely little kingdom to rule But unlike other kings this king spent most Of his time in the bathtub King George : Some kings love horses And some kings love cattle Some kings love leading Their troops into battle But me, Im not like that I find that stuff ... yucky Id much rather stay In my tub with my ducky! Because I love my duck! Louis : Sir, if I could have a minute King George: Love my duck! Louis: There are some things We must discuss! King George: I love my duck! Louis: See theres a war war And well, were in it! King George: Love my duck! Louis: Though I dont mean To make a fuss... King George: Then dont. Sing with me Louis Louis: Huh? ...oh... ok. Ahem Because he loves his duck! King George: And that is why I cant be bothered... Louis: Loves his duck! King George: With the particulars of war Louis: He Loves his duck! King George: Cause quite unlike My dear old father Louis: Loves his duck! King George: I find it all a bore! Now concentrate dear Louis And I think you will agree The most important person In the whole wide world is ... me! So please dont drag me down With the people and their troubles Go run some water in my tub to Freshen up my bubbles! Louis: Oh boy! King George: Because I love my duck! Louis: I dont know why I even bother ... King George: Love my duck! Louis: You just cant reason with this guy Both: Because I Love my duck! Louis: Its time to face the facts - I think were all a little stuck King George: So let the army run amock! Louis: I fear the kingdoms out of luck - Both: Because I Love my duck! Louis: Yes, undoubltedly were stuck King George: So let the army run amock Louis: Oh boy, were really out of luck! King George: Because I love my ... Thomas : Because I love my duck Youre always there to make me smile I love my duck Youre my very favorite toy Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Because I love ... my ...duck!
Its time? Its time? Did he just say its time? We didnt have a lot of fun in the desert We didnt have a lot of fun in the sand But saddle up your cow Its all behind us now Because were going to the promised land For years Ive eaten nothing but manna A dish that is filling but bland But were on our way Ill have a cheese souffle Because were going to the promised land And in the promised land, its gonna be so grand Well have our fill from the grill as much as we can stand Itll be so great Oh, we can hardly wait Cause were going to the promised land The dining was lousy with Moses But well be feasting with Josh in command Id like a taco please with some pintos and cheese Cause were going to the promised land And the promised land, its gonna be so grand Well have our fill from the grill as much as we can stand Itll be so great Oh, we can hardly wait Because were going to the promised land In the promised land, its gonna be so grand Well have our fill from the grill as much as we can stand Itll be so great - - with waffles on my plate Because were going to the promised land I hear its flowing with milk and honey Sounds sticky Cause were going to the promised land Ya, were going to the promised land Ya, were going to the promised land
Mr. Lunt: And what would you like to drink? Larry: Ill just have water, please. And could I have it in a glass this time? Mr. Lunt: Hmm, Let me check my records… Just as I suspected Good thing I stopped and checked it My pad is stained and blotted From liquids you spilt on it I’m afraid the jig is up… You must use a sippy cup Larry: STOP!! Dont bring me a sippy cup Havent spilled since yesterday Water won’t stain anyway Bring a mug Bring a jug Just dont bring… a sippy cup Mr. Lunt: Hmm, let me check with the busboy… Is he the one? Jimmy: ITS YOU!! Every time I fill it He turns around and spills it Ive brought a hundred blotters Cause you cant hold your waters This time Im not mopping up… Both: You must use a sippy cup Larry: NO! Dont bring me a sippy cup They’ll be making fun o’ me Put a pail in front o me Bring a mug Bring a jug Just don’t bring… a sippy cup Mr. Lunt: Well, I could ask the Maitre D… Blueberry: Zees is impos-see-blay He puddles up ze cafe You take me for a fool? A restaurants not a pool Take his glass and lock it up All three: Ze pickle gets a sippy cup Larry: Wait!! Don’t bring me a sippy cup This time Im not gonna spill Jimmy: Im pretty sure he will Larry: Spilling sodas not a crime If it is, Ill do time Just dont bring… a sippy cup Nezzer: Order, order in the court I judge you the clumsy sort By the dictates of our laws I sentence you to safety straws Jimmy: Its the Governor Nezzer: Yes, I see. Very well. Thank you, Governor. Ahem… Give me back that sippy cup Youve been granted sippy stay Larry: This must be my lucky day Chorus: This must be his lucky day Nezzer: Bring a mug Bring a jug Jimmy: Ill bring an absorbent rug Chorus: You dont need… a sippy cup Mr. Lunt: Compliments of the house, grape juice Larry: Grape juice? Oops! Sorry! Narrator: This has been silly songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say: Ill take that sippy cup!
And now, its time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a Silly Song Another lonely day In a crowded town Making our way The best we know how But were moving up Were moving in Got our dishes packed Theyve been wrapped to win Aint gonna break it No way Even if I shake it All day Covered with love, sealed against troubles Sheltered in a glub of bubbles, bubbles, bubbles Taped inside the arms of my bubble, bubble, bubble wrap Bubble wrap Bubble wrap Love to hear that bubble snap Like a clouds thunderclap Bubbly bubble, bubble wrap Oh yeah, were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Bubble, bubble Aint no trouble Squeeze that, squish that, break that bubble Do it once, bubble double Squeeze that, squish that, smash that bubble Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Were gonna snap, snap, snap that wrap Pull me round in bubble wrap Sink me in that bubble trap Covered with love, sealed against troubles Pop that, hear that bubble snap! Pop that, pop that bubble wrap! Sheltered in a glub of bubbles, bubbles, bubbles Bubble, bubble, aint no trouble, squeeze that, squish that, squish that bubble! Safe inside the arms of my bubble, bubble, bubble wrap Do it once, bubble double, squeeze that, squish that, smash that bubble! This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to here the boys sing... Were rappin and were snappin our bubble, bubble, bubble wrap
Theyre big, Im little They go, I twiddle Why cant little guys do big things too? Youre not going to sing, are you? Couldnt you just play your harp and Ill throw things at you? Oh... Youre big, Im little My head only comes to your middle But I say little guys can do big things too Yes, but Goliath, hes— Hes big, but Gods bigger And when I think of Him, thats when I figure With His help, little guys can do big things too Oh, I see what youre saying Alright, I understand, now lets suppose that this is true You still look rather wimpy but I know what we can do Just step behind this curtain, it will only take a minute Theres a closet in the corner and youll like what Ive got in it Youll find my royal armor there, dont dally, put it on Yes, now youll look much bigger when the battle lines are drawn One more thing you need I think, pick up my royal sword Its a big one, and a beauty, the best we could afford Once youve got it all together, I think you will agree Youre bound to do much better if you try to look like me Oh, dear You know, I think maybe I should just be plain old me Oh, yes, well, I suppose But have you seen Goliath? Why, hes, hes just— hes— Hes big but Gods bigger And when I think of Him, thats when I figure With His help, little guys can do big things? With His help, I know I can do big things With His help, little guys can do big things too Alright, if youre sure you know what youre getting into Oh, dear
Think of me everyday Hold tight to what I say And Ill be close to you Even from far away Know that wherever you are It is never too far If you think of me Ill be with you Know that wherever you are It is never too far If you think of me Ill be with you Think of me everyday Hold tight to what I say And Ill be close to you Even from far away Know that wherever you are It is never too far If you think of me Ill be with you
Thank God for this day For the sun in the sky For my mom and my dad For my piece of apple pie! For our home on the ground For His love thats all around Thats why I say thanks every day! Because a thankful heart is a happy heart! Im glad for what I have Thats an easy way to start! For the love that He shares Cause He listens to my prayers Thats why I say thanks every day!
Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm! Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm, left arm! Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm, left arm, right foot! Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot! Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot Chin up! Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot Chin up, turn around! Father Abraham had many sons Many sons had Father Abraham I am one of them and so are you So lets all praise the Lord Right arm, left arm, right foot, left foot Chin up, turn around, sit down! ACTIONS: Right arm: Clench fist, bend and extend arm upward repeatedly throughout song Left arm: Add left arm in same motion as right Right foot: Add right foot stepping up and down Left foot: Add left foot stepping up and down Chin up: Add head nodding up and down Turn around: Add turning in place while continuing other motions Sit down: Sit down
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout Down came the rain and washed the spider out Oh, oh, out came the sun and dried up all the rain And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout Down came the rain and washed the spider out Out came the sun and dried up all the rain And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again Down came the rain And washed the spider out Out came the sun and dried up all the rain And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again Yes, the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again That makes me really happy for that little itsy bitsy spider So long as it doesnt bite me and make me swell up
Larry: Got my straw hat, overalls, and a bag of turkey chow Lets go Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on that farm he had some chickens E-I-E-I-O With a cluck cluck there And a cluck cluck there Here a cluck There a cluck Everywhere a cluck cluck Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on that farm he had some dogs E-I-E-I-O With a woof woof here and a woof woof there Here a woof there a woof everywhere a woof woof Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on that farm he had some turkeys E-I-E-I-O With a gobble gobble there a gobble a gobble gobble here Everywhere a gobble gobble Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on that farm he had some cows E-I-E-I-O With a moo moo there and a moo moo here everywhere a moo moo Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O Larry: All right were putting up the barn doors! Come on Everybody With a cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there And a woof woof here and a woof woof there With a gobble gobble here and a gobble gobble there And a moo moo here and a moo moo there Old Mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
JUNIOR: My mommy always told me to do whats right! To wash behind my ears and try to be polite! You see she loves me so! MR. NEZZER: Thats beautiful! JUNIOR: Thats why she tells me what I need to know! MR. NEZZER: Ive got a lotta respect for that woman! JUNIOR: But sometimes when Im playin with a buddy or two Theyre doin things I know Im not supposed to do! MR. NEZZER: Well, do ya go along? Even though the things the do are wrong? JUNIOR: Mmm, mmm! I remember... Stand! BACKUP BOYS: Stand up! Stand up! JUNIOR: For what you believe in, believe in, believe in, GOD! BACKUP BOYS: Hes the one to back you up! JUNIOR: Will stand with you! BOB: When everybody tells you that you gotta be cool Remember what you learned in church and Sunday School! Just check it out! The Bible tells you what its all about! MR. NEZZER: Oh, ya know thats right! LARRY: So if you have a question, go ask your dad And he can tell you if a thing is good or bad Youll make their day If you remember what your parents say! MR. NEZZER: Whatd they say? BOB, LARRY, JUNIOR: They told us... Stand! BACKUP BOYS: Stand up! Stand up! BOB, LARRY, JUNIOR: For what you believe in, believe in, believe in, GOD! BACKUP BOYS: Hes the one to back you up! BOB, LARRY, JUNIOR: Will stand with you! ALL: Stand! BACKUP BOYS: Stand up! Stand up! ALL: For what you believe in, believe in, believe in, GOD! BACKUP BOYS: Hes the one to back you up! ALL: Will stand with you! JUNIOR: Hes stand with you! Oh, yeah!
The B-I-B-L-E Yes thats the book for me I stand alone on the Word of God The B-I-B-L-E The B-I-B-L-E Yes thats the book for me I stand alone on the Word of God The B-I-B-L-E Youll find it in the motel In the nightstand by your bed The red words are the coolest Theyre the ones that Jesus said The B-I-B-L-E Yes thats the book for me I stand alone on the Word of God The B-I-B-L-E The B-I-B-L-E Yes thats the book for me I stand alone on the Word of God The B-I-B-L-E The B-I-B-L-E Yes thats the book for me I stand alone on the Word of God The B-I-B-L-E I stand alone on the Word of God The B-I-B-L-E That spells Bible Whaddaya know
I am King Darius Ive had a dream And now Im feeling rather frightened And I wish someone would tell me what it means We are your wisemen Yes, that is true And though were using all our wisdom Were afraid we cant explain your dream to you What!? But there is one who is wiser still And Daniel is his name So before you take another sleeping pill Perhaps he can explain My name is Daniel That much is true But it is God who gives me wisdom And through me He will explain your dreams to you His name is Daniel Thats what he said But when he talks about this God of his I think hes kind of loony in the head. Well, Daniel was able to explain the kings dream. And this made the king very happy Daniel, you have enlightened me Your job I will expand From now on I want you to sit right beside me As the second in command This was very good news for Daniel, but very bad news for the wise men. You see, each one of them wanted to be second in command. Now that Daniel got that job, the wise men would have to do whatever he said. This made the wise men very unhappy, and they immediately started thinking of ways to get rid of Daniel
Tell me why I dont understand Tell me why Or show me your hand Tell me why because I cant see my way through What now... Should I... Do The battle is not ours We look to God above For He will guide us safely through And guard us with His love I will not be afraid I will not run and hide For there is nothing I cant face When God is at my side No, there is nothing I cant face When God is at my side The battle is not ours We look to God above For He will guide us safely through And guard us with His love
Weve got some news, good King Darius We fear your position is precarious There are some people here in Babylon Who wont give you your due Theyd rather bow to other men Can this be so? Tis true Oh, dear Weve brought a solution of our own design If youll just sign this paper on the dotted line Its an edict stating most concisely what were all to do We must bow our heads or bend our knees before no one but you I see Just one more time, now, lets see if Ive got this straight A law to prove once and for all that I am great If Im the king, no one must doubt my full supremacy So, from this day forth my citizens will pray to only me Yes, but what if they dont? If they dont obey, any citizen Will be thrown into the lions den Oh yes, well, I guess that would do it Alright then, good work, men, ta-ta So the law was passed, the deed was done Daniels troubles had just begun Everyone in Babylon heard about the new law, including Daniel. But Daniel also knew Gods law, and Gods law told him that he should only pray to God
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho Jericho, Jericho Joshua fought the battle of Jericho And the walls came tumbling down! You may talk about your men of Gideon You may talk about your men of Saul But theres none like good old Joshua And the battle of Jericho! Joshua fought the battle of Jericho Jericho, Jericho Joshua fought the battle of Jericho And the walls came tumbling down! Right up to the walls of Jericho They marched with spear in hand; Go blow them ram horns, Joshua cried Cause the battle is in my hand. Joshua fought the battle of Jericho Jericho, Jericho Joshua fought the battle of Jericho And the walls came tumbling down! Then the lamb, ram Sheep horns began to blow And the trumpets began to sound Joshua told the children to shout that morning And the walls came tumbling down! Joshua fought the battle of Jericho Jericho, Jericho Joshua fought the battle of Jericho And the walls came tumbling down! Joshua fought the battle of Jericho Jericho, Jericho Joshua fought the battle of Jericho And the walls came tumbling down! And the walls came tumbling down!
King George: I must have it, I must get it You must go and get it for me! If you want me to be happy Then youll show me you adore me Dont rest another minute Till its sitting here before me If you wanna do your best I would suggest you go and bring me back that duck! Louis: But sir, if I could just jog your memory, you already have quite a few duckies King George: Those are yesterdays duckies Louis: Huh? Wh-what these are perfectly good duckies, why most of your loyal Subjects would love to have even one ducky this nice King George: I dont like these I dont need these I dont wan these any longer My affection for those duckies Isnt getting any stronger Just say I cant have what I want You couldnt be more wronger Dont ask me to explain There will be pain if you dont Go and get that duck!
I love you a bushel and a peck A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap A barrel and a heap and Im talkin in my sleep About you, about who, about you I love you a bushel and a peck A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap A barrel and a heap and Im talkin in my sleep About you, about who, about you Cause I love you a bushel and a peck You bet your purdy neck I do Doodle-oodle-ooh-doo Doodle-oodle-ooh-doo Doodle-oodle-ooh-doo-loo Doodle-oodle-ooh-doo Doodle-oodle-ooh-doo Doodle-oodle-ooh-doo-doo
Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr arr arr Grab your root beer, hold it high Whack your shipmate in the eye Yank his hair and break his nose Watch your back, its Jolly Joes Grab your root beer, hold it high Whack your shipmate in the eye Yank his hair and break his nose Watch your back its Jolly Joes Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr arr arr Swing your shipmate, promenade Smack him with a rusty plate Spin around and do-si-do Watch your step its Jolly Joes Swing your shipmate, promenade Smack him with a rusty plate Spin around and do-si-do Watch your step its Jolly Joes Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr arr arr Pirates do as pirates please Were terrors of the seven seas And when we do it all our foes There aint no place like Jolly Joe-oh-oh woah! Grab a can of ginger ale Hop up on a wooden bale Drop it on a shipmates toe Oh! There aint no place like Jolly Joes Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr Arr arr arr arr arr arr arr
The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo It lies atop a mound of snow High in the hills where the cold winds blow Is the Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo Cmon! Lets go! To the Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo! Our bags are packed and ready to go Lets start the van and be gone! Start the van and be gone! Now our bags are all packed and were ready to go Lets start the van and be gone! Cmon! Lets go! To the Biscuit of Zazzamaranda-OH! Whats that you say? We cant leave yet today? Youve just got an errand to run? I just have to stop at the bank You just have to stop at the bank... Well If you insist I suppose We can deal with a minor delay Say Archibald, who made this biscuit anyway? Oh, I thought youd never ask! So James McNabb at the Guild of Gold He made the biscuit so long ago And the people they traveled to see it glow At the Mountain of Zazzamarandabo Cmon! Lets go! To the Biscuit of Zazzamaranda-OH! What is it now? This isnt the way! I just have to stop for some goldfish food! ..You dont even have a goldfish! No, but I was thinkin of gettin one and, I wouldnt want him to go hungry Anybody need anything? Uh maybe a vente half-caf vanilla hazelnut latté? Hold the whipped cream. And maybe one of those little chocolate covered graham crackers? So Archie, whats so great about this biscuit anyway? Well, if you really want to know The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo Was lost in our world many years ago Until my great Uncle Archibo Stubbed his toe on the frozen dough On the Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo! Cmon! No tea! To the Biscuit of Zazzamaranda-NO! Not again! This is not fair! Ya gotta have a map! A what? A map! A what? A map! Oh! A map! The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo! The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo! The joy! The thrill! I think..I spilled... The Biscuit! The Biscuit! The Biscuit of Zazzamaranda-BURP ...bo... Mmm! Sausage gravy! Huh.. I might of made a wrong turn... The Biscuit of...Doug? Back to the van! Back to the van! It isnt too late! Lets go! So high in the hills where the cold winds blow Is the Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo! Were almost there! Oh isnt this great? Who needs to take a potty break? ...NOOOOO!!!!!!! The Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo It lies atop a mound of snow High in the hills where the cold winds blow Is the Biscuit of Zazzamarandabo I suppose this has been Silly Songs with Archie Tune in next time to hear Larry say, I always thought YOU were the announcer... ...So did I
Ive tried to be patient, Ive tried to be kind Can you tell me what the trouble is? Am I losing my mind? Now I didnt ask for much, just one simple little thing Didnt ask you to part the waters, I just wanted to hear you sing! I gave you hats, I gave you ties, I let you eat my bunnies And this is how you repay me? Come on boys, do you think thats funny? Well, now at last, your fate is sealed, youre paying for your crime But to show you what kind of guy I am, Ill ask you one more time Will you, or will you not, sing the song?
No, It cannot be. Your messages are meant for me and my brothers. We are your chosen people And Nineveh Well theyre not! There must be some mistake A huge misunderstanding. Its really hard to take How could you be so demanding? For years Ive been your messenger from Moresheth to Gath But Nineveh Should get no chance to turn. Theyve earned your wrath No, It cannot be. Your messages are meant for me and my brothers We are your chosen people. And Nineveh Well theyre not! Were the good guys and theyre the bad guys! Please dont send me there with the message of your mercy! Damascus or Jerusalem- Ill be there in a minute! Any town in Israel- Just ask me and Ill be in it! Shiloh, Gilgal, Jericho- Just say the word! But Nineveh That is just absurd! Joppah, Apheck and Jezreel-Theyre all just fine! But Nineveh... Oh Nineveh.... No Nineveh is where i draw the line! No, It cannot be Your messages are meant for me
I know that God loves me, I know that He cares When Im feeling lonely, I know Hell be there I like loving Him because He first loved me I like feeling special, I like being me And I like to give Gods love, I want to live by giving love I want to love my friends and family, so they will know that God is love I know that God loves you, I know that He cares And when youre feeling lonely, I know Hell be there I like loving Him, and I know you will too I like youyoure special, I like knowing you And I like to give Gods love, I want to live by giving love I want to love my friends and family, so they will know that God is love
Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are Up above the world so high Like a diamond in the sky When the blazing sun is gone When he nothing shines upon Then you show your little light Twinkle, twinkle, all the night Then the traveler in the dark Thanks you for your tiny spark He could not see which way to go If you did not twinkle so In the dark blue sky you keep And often through my curtains peep For you never shut your eye Till the sun is in the sky As your bright and tiny spark Lights the traveler in the dark Though I know not what you are Twinkle, twinkle, little star Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are Up above the world so high Like a diamond in the sky Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are How I wonder what you are
We like to barbeque We dont wear pink Were extremely masculine Were the Boyz in the Sink When you dont wear socks Your feet will stink! We use antiperspirant Were the Boyz in the Sink Yo, yo here we go Here we go solo Radio smooth flow Yo, yo here we go Boyz in the Sink Boyz in the Sink Yo, yo here we go Never going solo Yo, yo here we go Here we go yo Boyz in the Sink We got skills with grammar Real good, we think We switch zs for ss Were the Boyz in the Sink For healthy skin try riboflavin and zinc We use a dietary supplement Were the Boyz in the Sink Yo, yo here we go Here we go solo Radio smooth flow Yo, yo here we go Boyz in the Sink Boyz in the Sink Yo, yo here we go Never going solo Yo, yo here we go Here we go yo Boyz in the Sink Take the Y off the slinky youre still left with the slink
Archibald: Here we go! I am the very model of a modern Major-General Ive information vegetable, animal, and mineral I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical Im very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem Im teeming with a lot o news Lot of news, lets see... With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse Chorus: With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse Archibald: Alright, hang on! Im very good at integral and differential calculus I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General Chorus: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral He is the very model of a modern Major-General Archibald: Alright, now stay with me... I am the very model of a modern Major-General Ive information vegetable, animal, and mineral I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical Im very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem Im teeming with a lot o news Lot of news... With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse Chorus: With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse Archibald: Im very good at integral and differential calculus I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General Chorus: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral He is the very model of a modern Major-General Archibald: Ah, splendid! Lovely! Oh, thank you! Im done
Steak! Steak! Eat it! Eat it! Shrimp! Shrimp! Need it! Need it! Steak and Shrimp! Steak and Shrimp! Need to! Need to! Eat it! Eat it!
Jesus loves me, this I know For the Bible tells me so Little ones, to Him, belong They are weak but He is strong Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me The Bible tells me so Jesus loves me, He will stay Close beside me all the way Hes prepared a home for me And some day, His face, Ill see Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me The Bible tells me so Jesus loves me, this I know For the Bible tells me so Little ones, to Him, belong They are weak but He is strong Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me Yes, Jesus loves me The Bible tells me so
Puppies are cuddly, puppies are cute Their never nasty or mean Id give a home to all the lost puppies If ever one day I were queen Puppies, puppies, bouncing happy puppies Puppies, puppies of love Puppies, puppies, tender puppy puppies Lost puppies, I love you, love, love Puppies are cuddly, puppies are cute Their never nasty or mean Id give a home to all the lost puppies If ever one day I were queen, arf
King Jesus is all My all in all And I know that hell answer Me when I call Walking by my side Im satisfied King Jesus is all My all in all Well, I went out to meet the Lord I got down on my knees I said my very first prayer You know the Holy Ghost met me there I stepped on the rock The rock was sound. Oh the love of God came a tumbling down The reason I know That he saved my soul Was I dug down deep and I found pure gold King Jesus is all My all in all And I know that hell answer Me when I call Walking by my side Im satisfied King Jesus is all My all in all Well, I went out to meet the Lord I got down on my knees I said my very first prayer You know the Holy Ghost met me there I stepped on the rock The rock was sound. Oh the love of God came a tumbling down The reason I know That he saved my soul Was I dug down deep and I found pure gold
There is a name I love to hear I love to sing its worth; It sounds like music in my ear The sweetest name on earth Oh how I love Jesus Oh how I love Jesus Oh how I love Jesus Because he first loved me! It tells me of a Saviors love Who died to set me free; It tells me of his precious blood The sinners perfect plea Oh how I love Jesus Oh how I love Jesus Oh how I love Jesus Because he first loved me!
Narrator: And now its time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the- Mr Lunt: Check it, dude. Yo, me and the Boyz had an idea about another way to tell this Moe story. Right, Boyz? Boyz: Yo! Mr Lunt: Yo! Listen to the boys and well tell you now! How loosin your cool and having a cow! Can run you out when your lid gets flipped, and get your mug up all over Egypt! Boyz: Na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na Mr. Lunt: On the banks of the Nile, born and raised! In the crib of the pharaoh in his teenage days. Chillin. Kickin. Wearing silk jamsies, learning hieroglyphics from his grandad Ramses. When a whack Egyptian- Boyz: Black belt kung foo! Mr. Lunt: Started whoopin it up- Boyz: On his homey Hebrew! Mr. Lunt: Coulda called the cops, stood back but instead - Boyz: He took a big stick upside of his head! All: A mess down in Egypt, our troubles are severe. Na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na. The stress down in Egypt increases more each year. Na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na Mr Lunt: Now word spread fast and he got all scared Boyz: Oh! Mr. Lunt: Hed be better off by avoiding the Pharoah . He packed his bags, thinkin if he stayed theyd be punishing him in a capital way! Boyz: Oh! Oh! Mr. Lunt: Now Lord only knew, but he thought he might- Boyz: Stay a while in the desert like a Midionite Mr. Lunt: To disengage his rage and become equipped to return to his home as the prince of Egypt All: Our guess, down in Egypt, no moving day is near. Na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na. Unless the prince of Egypt will take us out of here. Na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na, na na na na na na na. Hey!
Check it out! Check it out! If you want a bigger hat We got that! If you need a tube of glue We got that too! A 20 gallon wok? Theyre in stock! And if you need refrigerators To keep extra mashed potaters Or a giant air compressor To blow fruit flies off your dresser Or a dehydrated strudel Or a nose ring for your poodle Or a five pound can of tuna And some flippers to go scuba Scuba! Scuba! Scooby-doo-be-doo-ba! Here we go, scuba! Come on! If you need a rubber hose We got those! A rhododendron tree We got three! A wrap-around deck Gotta check But if you need a window scraper And a gross of toilet paper Or a rachet set and pliers And surround sound amplifiers And a solar turkey chopper Or a padded gopher bopper Flannel shirts for looking grungy And some rope for goin bungee Bungee! Bungee! Bungee-wun-gee-fun-gee! Here we go, bungee! Come on! What weve mentioned are only just some Of the wonderful things yet to come These pictures you keep are so...nice But you really should take our advice Happiness waits at the Stuff-Mart! All you need is lots...more...stuff! Salesman #2 and #3: You really, really ought to! Madame: How could I afford not to? Salesman #1: Happiness waits at the Stuff-Mart! Salesmen: All you need is lots... More... Stuff!
Some veggies went to sea, sea, sea To see what they could see, see, see But all that they could see, see, see Was the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea See?
Surely your God is above all men Now I understand For even at the bottom of the lions den You were in His hand!
Way up above us, twinkling bright There must be a million stars in the sky tonight, tonight But dont you worry, no need to cry You are the only twinkle thats in my eye, tonight Youre more than one in a million No one can take your place Though I could try, theres no way That I could ever forget your face Youre more than one in a million No other ever could do Cause not even one in a million Could ever compare to you Could ever come close to you Through all the laughter, through all the tears Whenever you need me, I will be standing here, right here No need to wonder, dont ever fear Though you may wonder, Ill always be right here, right here Youre more than one in a million No one can take your place Though I could try, theres no way That I could ever forget your face Youre more than one in a million No other ever could do Not even one in a million Could ever compare to you Could ever come close to you Could ever come close to you
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