private static String getBrowserMessage() {
        if (UserAgentPermutation.isGecko()) {
            return "feels like a lizard";
        } else if (UserAgentPermutation.isSafari()) {
            return "is out on the savannah";
        } else if (UserAgentPermutation.isOpera()) {
            return "hits all the high notes";
        } else if (UserAgentPermutation.isIe()) {
            String message = "is made by Microsoft ";
            if (UserAgentPermutation.isIe6()) {
                message += "and is very old";
            } else if (UserAgentPermutation.isIe8()) {
                message += "and might be slightly dated";
            } else if (UserAgentPermutation.isIe9()) {
                message += " and is almost decent";
            } else {
                message += " and is newer than me";
            }
            return message;
        } else {
            // Unknown permutation
            return "doesn't like me";
        }
    }