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## Some companies block their employees from using social media network In many corporations, despite its rules, staff cannot access social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram during working time. Personally, I totally agree with that decision. Indeed, prohibiting employees from using social media can help them avoid getting distracted, get more attention to their tasks, build real-life relationships with other employees, and lead to a result that boosts company performance. Without a doubt, social media is a common source of interruption. For example, people can quickly get interested in something new that pops up in their newsfeed or their friend's messages when using Facebook. Some researchers said that you need an average of 20 minutes to get back to work when visiting social media platforms. So that, if they are prohibited from using social media, employees will hardly get any other distraction sources in the office. For that reason, they clearly spend more time on work, and when needing the support of their colleagues, they must make real-life conversations with their co-workers. In the long path, it will decrease the time required for tasks and create friendly social behavior in the company and all of that benefits help the company thrives. In conclusion, I think that restricting the use of social media networks in the workplace is a wise decision. Lots of managers realize the benefits when comparing the company's performance before and after publicizing that policy. I hope that blocking access to social media platforms when working will become more and more common in the future. Short brief: Prohibiting staff from using social media when working is a wise decision because it stops them from being distracted, reduces the time required for tasks, and improves the real-life relationship between co-workers.

The presentation is not grammatically perfect but works for the purpose of the writer. While there are some incorrect phrases and references used in the essay, it does not deter the reader from understanding the opinion of the writer. The fact that he uses public knowledge as references works well for the presentation. However, some personal experience information would have also been beneficial to the presentation since it would have balanced the discussion between public and personal throughout the paragraphs. Sometimes the reasoning the writer provides feels incomplete. Paragraph 2 in particular, feels under developed. It could have used better experience and knowledge referencing to add to the impact of the explanation. It almost feels like the next paragraph was accidentally separated from the previous paragraph. Had the 2 paragraphs combined, the discussion would have been better developed. The writer shows enough knowlege of everyday English words. The discussion feels natural to a limited extent. I believe the limitation was caused by the ESL writing method of the student. There are instances when he seems to have transliterated the sentences, leading to incorrect sentence formation. This can be overcome in the future through regular English language speaking and writing practice.

***Some people believe that the personal information of violent criminals should be made available to the public. Others think that this information should be protected.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. It is a common belief that violent criminals' identities should be kept confidential from the public to make people feel a sense of safety about the society they are living in and support the rehabilitation of criminals after their prison time. However, there is a more persuasive argument that such information needs to be publicized so that people can be well aware of and protect themselves from potential risks. On the one hand, keeping people from knowing about the personal details of criminals will help these individuals to reintegrate back into society more quickly and easily. Without the prejudice of surrounding people about what they had done in the past, criminals will not encounter stigmatization or experience low self-esteem, which might prevent them from living a normal life after their sentences. More specifically, according to Tuoitre Newspaper, a prestigious newspaper in Vietnam, after two years of enacting the law of not revealing criminal records for individuals seriously performing criminal rehabilitation programs, the rate of criminals reintegrating successfully in this country increased significantly by 10% in 2020. Nevertheless, I support the point of view that the public should be updated with the personal details of illegal individuals. This not only contributes to the safety of people because it allows them to proactively recognize the presence of criminals in the places they come to, then protect themselves from potential violent behaviors. On top of that, police forces will be supported hugely by citizens in capturing violent criminals if they publicize information about criminals. Why can this action be so helpful? The U.S. government could not have arrested the most dangerous wanted terrorist successfully in 2002 if they had not aired his portrait image on TV programs on daily basis. One of the residents ran into the terrorist in a hotel where he was hiding at that time, immediately, the criminal was reported to a local police station. To sum up, although it is apparent that choosing not to reveal the personal information of criminals is an effective way to support the rehabilitation of criminals, it is undeniable that updating society with this kind of information will contribute to protecting the safety of people.

It is a common belief A "common belief" cannot be used as an alternate reference to "Some people believe". The reason? When you say "common" it indicates, by definition; an adjective that refers to a universal, widespread, or general knowledge. The "universal" aspect of the definition contradicts the "some" reference in the original. This incorrect word usage will negatively affect your LR score. Be careful of your word usage because incorrect meaning will change the way the thought is viewed and will pull down not only your LR, but also your C+C and GRA scores. Your first paragraph is incomplete and will result in additional task deductions. While the prompt restatement was represented to the best of your writing ability, you neglected to present your personal opinion as necessary for the task. It clearly states that you must discuss your opinion. Therefore, it is a required part of the writer's opinion as a part of the thesis statement or reasoning basis for the discussion of your personal opinion. The way the essay is written, the reasoning paragraphs must number a maximum of 3. That is, you must equally discuss the 2 public opinions prior to the presentation of your personal opinion. Your personal opinion must clearly be cohesive enough to connect to one of the 2 public opinions. The lack of the 2nd public opinion discussion and sudden jump to your personal opinion will result in this essay being scored as an incomplete discussion persentation. This is not a bad start to the practice essays. However, you need to become more familiar with the 2 types of approaching this comparative discussion essay. Samples below should help you become clearer about how to develop this type of discussion prompt. Just click on Similar Discussions [+] to see similar presentations from previous exam takers.

## Food advertising should be banned the same as smoking is Some researchers contend that the habit of eating too much will pose a threat to peoples' health and thus, suggest that food commercials should be banned the same way as cigarettes are. This essay will disagree with the latter view, and justifications are as follows. To commence with, advertisements on food should not be prohibited entirely since not all food is detrimental to peoples' health. In fact, fruits and grain-based products are considered healthy food, so it seems rather unresonable to not permit their advertisements to be broadcast on mass media. On the contrary, there is no variation in terms of healthy and unhealthy in cigarette brands, and it should be blocked from citizens' view as a way to lessen the likelihood of having health problems amongst them. Another factor that can not be overlooked is the economy. On the one hand, it is conspicuous that the food industry has an enormous impact on a nation's economic growth. Therefore, if the sales went down due to the prohibition policy, the country would have to suffer a huge loss. On the other hand, cigarette manufacturing does not contribute to the economy that much as the food industry does, so if there is a decline in sales, the loss will be less severe. In conclusion, based on aforemention explainations, I suggest that it is not a good idea to ban food advertisements the same way as cigarettes one are.

It would have been nice if you could have used alternate terms for "researchers" since it is still close enough to the original term used (research). By using alternate words such as analysts or food scientists, you would have shown a wider and related vocabulary to the examiner, thus boosting your LR score at the very start. The prompt restatement is a bit short on the interpretation side as it does not indicate that over eating and smoking are similarly seen in terms of cause and effect. Without that link, the mention of banning certain food advertisement does not have a basis. It creates a questionable reference in the eyes of the reader. The essay cannot have an opinion because it is a mere product of the act of writing. The main questions was pointed to the writer. Do YOU agree or disagree? Therefore, a personal pronoun reference should be used in response to the given inquiry. The prompt restatement + writer's opinion is badly developed and will not receive a good preliminary score. The reasoning paragraphs are not developed along the key discussion line which is "addiction". Overeating was no longer the focus of the discussion in relation to food addiction and the need to ban certain food types, such as junk food, in advertising. Yes, the health benefits should be considered, but you have obviously misunderstood the actual discussion chain which is: *Junk food ---> Habit forming ---> Overeating ---> Food addiction ---> Health problems Cigarettes ---> Habit forming ---> Chain Smoking ---> Smoking addiction ---> Health problems Solution: Ban advertising to dissuade people from falling into these 2 bad health habits Consider: Yes or no? Why? Use health reasons that relate to both junk food and cigarettes* The focus is on health, the economy does not figure in any way towards the discussion targets. A commonality that would create connected discussion considerations for a cohesive presentation is not found in the 2 paragraphs. The way the discussion considerations were not correctly addressed in this essay shows that the writer did not properly outline his thought process and possible discussion topics, as the above example shows. This is why he failed to consider the correct discussion format and discussion targets for his reasoning paragraphs. The discussion is therefore, incorrect. The concluding summary does not offer a proper summative discussion within the 2 sentence word format. It does not allow for a proper recapitulation of the preceding discussion. Therefore, full scoring consideration for this portion cannot be provided either.

***The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school.*** ## Agree or Disagree? Being one of the major core skills in today's era of integration, cooperation has recently been brought into education. While advocates of team sports are of the opinion that these activities provide the best opportunities for students to practice cooperation, I believe that playing music in an ensemble could create such same effect. Admittedly, cooperative physical activities could foster a sense of teamwork by acknowledging the members' abilities. When working in tandem with each other, each member of a team could gradually recognise the strengths and weaknesses of their teammates. From that, they will devise the best strategies that could cover their weak points while maximising their strengths. Football emerges as a typical case for this collective spirit, as the compatibility of the members is the result of experimental matches. At the same time, I propose that a music ensemble is also capable of instilling in students a sense of unity. In order to interpret a score, each player in the ensemble has to be highly aware of how to deliver their interpretation in harmony with other players so as not to ruin the score. For example, if one student misses the tempo, the whole ensemble will have to stop. This delicate adjustment requires each player to look out for their partners, thus further strengthening the bond within the group. All in all, while I concur with the opinion that teamwork spirit can be honed through team sports, I also consider a music ensemble to be a strong way to help bring members closer. (Thank you for your comment!)

The actual discussion of the topic should not be done in the first paragraph as you did here. Any personal opinions and insights should only be presented in this paragraph as a part of the writer's opinion thesis. This should have been a 2 sentence presentation that focused only on an accurate prompt restatement and your opinion. Since you decided to include a personal insight into the restatement, the examiner will not be able to award full points for this representation. The inclusion of your opinion in the topic presentation changed the discussion basis. Points need to be deducted for that. Additionally, you only provided a thesis statement, but failed to provide a direct opinion using the response keyword as provided. Further deductions will be applied to the preliminary TA score. The writer's direct response to the question should always be provided twice. Once in the restatement and again in the concluding summary. It cannot be stated in the concluding summary alone as that will provide an open ended essay rather than a concluded discussion presentation. The discussion paragraphs are acceptable and aligned with the discussion topic. The given reasoning and explanations are sound and quite believable. I would have liked to have seen a more cohesive discussion though that compared the sports and orhestra requirements over 2 related paragraphs. That would have shown the strength and acceptability of your discussion. The similarities need to be highlighted in this sort of discussion. How the expectations are the same, even though the implementation is different. These are necessary to achieve a well scoring C+C section. Good job just the same. Beware of your punctuation usage in certain sentences. An apostrophe is not always necessary when indicating the plural form of a word. Know when to use it in proprietarial or plural form. Wrong usage will reduce the GRA score. As for the concluding sentence, it is a run-on presentation that has reduced clarity and cohesiveness. You will never go wrong when you opt to use more sentences, representing individual ideas or statements in a paragraph. That is the correct basis for a sentence. A long sentence does not necessarily translate into a simple, complex, or compound sentence. That is why the concluding paragraph format requires at least 2 sentences composed of 40 words or more to complete the paragraph presentation.

Hi, I saw this interesting IELTS question many weeks ago and i finished it for about 35 minutes. Please give me feedback for further improvement. Question: ## Scientists predict that in the future cars will be driven by computers . ***What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?*** My essay (303 words): It is predicted that autonomous cars will be prevalent down the line in light of the dire need of saving time and improving the safety of people involved in them. I opine this scenario seems to be a double-edged sword. The dominance of self-driving vehicles may soon stem from two major facets. One of which is the high demand of reducing the commuting time at present, potentially freeing human drivers from this stressful task during rush hours. This, in turn, allows working citizens to gain more productive time to accomplish other tasks such as writing emails and among others. Another justification would be more predictable as of late technological advancements tend to contribute to the higher standard of security and safety of users. We can see this in the ambition of driverless cars industry which is progressing incessantly to add new useful functions ranging from detecting minor mechanical errors to excluding underage drivers. In short, this development will be a consequence of humans' needs. Personally, I think this growth may cut both sides. On an individual level, residents' quality of life would be considerably enhanced thanks to more available time daily. Not only will this boost their work performance to some extent, but it also reduces stress related to traffic issues. However, the benefits of cars controlled by computers are only optimized when manufacturers can bring it to the masses, meaning aN intolerantly high cost. Such an expense may stem from discarding all conventional automobiles and producing an enormous number of new products. Briefly, this notion seems to present both advantages and disadvantages. In conclusion, I strongly feel that the emergence of autonomous cars will happen sooner or later to serve humans' life. While this will be a safer mode of transport, the increase of such cars may place a financial burden on a societal level.

While the essay is extremely wordy and actually shows off your vast English vocabulary, the focus on word exercise rather than coherence, cohesiveness, and a proper response to the 2nd question in the prompt are the reasons that this essay will receive a failing score. The speed by which you wrote the essay was not commensurate to the quality of writing and the appropriateness of the response to the guide questions. Hence, the speed of writing and the lack of proper response content resulted in an incorrectly presented essay presentation. Do not focus on vocabulary, that is the perfect way to fail the test. Yes, the question you chose is interesting, but you never actually chose a single response for the defense. This is not an essay that allows for a measured response, which would have allowed you to say the discussion is a double edged swordd. This is a single opinion essay that requires you to convince the reader that only one side of the discussion should be supported. Based on the given prompt, you only partially responded to the question provided. The last aspect being incorrectly represented response. So the task is only partially fulfilled. Partially will not fly, it could lead to a failing score in an actual test. I will not dissuade you from writing long essays, I will however, encourage you to work on sentence clarity and proper response formatting. These are the major scoring considerations for the task. Fail to accomplish these and the speed and word count will not matter at all.

## vehicle registrations graph **Essay topics:** **The graph below shows changes in the share of vehicle registrations of the three most common types of commercial vehicles in the US between 1970 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The line graph illustrates the rate of vehicle registrations from 1970 to 2010 in three primary business vehicles in the US. Overall, the majority of Americans enrolled in trucks. In addition, the percentage of truck and taxi registers followed an upward trend while the reverse was seen in the share of bus enrollments. In particular, commencing at approximately 50% in 1970, the figure for truck-registered users dropped significantly to 30% in the next ten years. Following this, it bounced back from 30% to 50% between 1970 and 2010. In contrast, the rate of bus registers, which underwent a threefold rise from 5% in 1970 to nearly 15% in the following ten years, fell drastically to below 5% in 2010. In the meantime, the number of taxies registrations accounted for nearly 25% in 1970, after which it climbed sharply to above 35% in 1980. Subsequently, it plunged to 15% in 2000; thereafter, it recorded a noticeable rise of 20% in 2010. (160 words) Please help me to evaluate my writing skills, read and comment if it's possible, and please also give a score. Thank you in advance. *

There are actually 2 graph images to be identified in this image. In no particular order, the presentation contains a basic line graph and a dotted line graph. It is important to differentiate between the two images due to the measurement references being made. The line graph is continuous, while the dotted line graph is a broken measurement that can be referred to in the same manner when describing it in the reporting and analysis paragraphs. A more accurate summary overview should have contained 2 sentences that referred to (1) The type of image and (2) an enumeration of the listing attached to it. This is to help create a more solid reference foundation when the trending paragraph is explained to the reader. This is necessary since the premise of a sentence is to include related information instead of compressed information. A single reference per sentence will score better than a long single summary sentence. The taxi reference is under analyzed and reported. There are only 2 sentences in that presentation, which means it does not meet the 3 sentence minimum standard for the paragraphs in the task. You missed out on a comparative analysis sentence when it came to the cross-information relating to the taxis and trucks between the years of 1970 and 1980. That is a highly relevant comparison, a small but important one, to make in the paragraph. Overall, this is a pretty good attempt at a task 1 essay. It should receive a passing score. Unfortunately, you will have to contact me privately for detailed scoring considerations but I can assure you that you did good enough to receive at least a base passing score.

Hi. I'm glad to have someone review my writing. Please give me some feedback and thank you! ## sales of jeans graph The graph depicts the predicted sales of jeans in Turkey of Mango Co and Jack & Jones Co company in the following year. Transactions are measured in thousands of jean pairs. Generally speaking, there will be an upward trend in the sale of jeans. Furthermore, Turkish customers are predicted to buy more jeans from Jack & Jones Co than from Mango Co. Regarding Mango Co, their sale amount in the first four months is predicted to start low around 100 thousand pairs. Following this, it will increase gradually until reach a plateau of 500 thousand jeans from August to November, and eventually, at the end of the period, peak at around 600 thousand pairs in December. Switching to Jack & Jones Co, their sales numbers are predicted to be higher than that of Mango Co, with the only exception in two months July and August. Starting the period with a high amount of sales of more than 400 thousand pairs of jeans, Jack & Jones company then is expected to see a sharp decrease in their sales figures by 200 thousand jeans in February. After that, the forecasted sales will bounce back gradually at 400 thousand pairs in June and level off at this amount till August. Finally, the sale amount will increase considerably and reach a peak of about 900 thousand pairs at the end of the period. *

The essay is too long to be completed within 20 minutes. Aim to write only 200 words as this is the ideal number that will allow for a quick and almost complete analysis within the time frame provided. The graph Always aim for clarity in your descriptions. Since this is a combined columnar and line graph, describe it as it is. That is because the summary representation is needed to help the reader gain a better and more solid imaginative understanding of the the said information source. Saying it is a graph is accurate, but a columnar line graph would be the most accurate and better scoring of the two descriptions. Mango Co Oops. You were remiss in writing the abbreviated word for company. Never forget to place a period at the end of the shortened spelling. You may look up how to abbreviate or shorten words using the correct punctuation marks online. The second paragraph became too short. It requires at least 3 sentences in the analysis paragraphs. The second sentence should have been divided with a third sentence representing the second thought that was accidentally merged into the previous 2nd sentence. You have written an excellent first effort. It is clear and very much along the lines of a comparative analysis report. Save for these 2 problems that I found, I believe that you could receive a passing score for the task next time. Just make sure to correct the over writing and run-on problems then.

## The line chart report The line chart given denotes the proportion of people settled in Australia who were given birth in Asia, the UK, and other regions. In general, the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia and other areas saw an upward trend. On the other hand, there was a dramatically fall in the percentage of that people who were born in the UK. It is worth noticing that the proportion of people who were born in Asia increased rapidly over the years, from 1% in 1976 to 15% in 2011. Meanwhile, the percentage of Australian who were born in other sectors fluctuated. It droped by 3% from 1976 to 1986, after which there was a quickly improvement of 6% in the percentage in 2006. However, this figure could not remain untill 2011, but went into free-fall slightly 2% compared to 2006. On the contrary, the percentage of people who were born in the UK faced a downward trend, specifically, from 13% , it decreased 8% on a 35-year period, beginning in 1976.

who were given birth This does not make sense, the people could have been born in Asia, their parents gave birth in Asia, but neither were ever "given birth" in Asia. Incorrect grammar / word usage will result in lowered LR and GRA scores at the very start of the scoring considerations. That is not a good sign. Failing these 2 sections so early in the presentation could result in an overall failing score in the end. born in Asia and other areas Increase the task accuracy by completing the graph listing of countries. That way it makes it easier for the reader to track the information you will be discussing in the body. They will be on the lookout for further discussion points. Doing so will also increase the TA score of the trending statement based on the summary requirements. It droped Remember to spellcheck, review, and revise the essay prior to submission. Incorrectly spelled words will be deducted from your LR score and could be a GRA deduction due to confusing word references. Avoid writing single sentence paragraphs. Technically, that will not be considered a paragraph anyway since a paragraph is always composed of at least 3 words. A single sentence is a statement. It will not return the same scores as a completely developed paragraph.

## formal complaint to retaurant You have eaten at a restaurant and it was such a terrible experience that you have decided to inform the manager by letter of what happened and that you want your money back. Things to include: - Facts. You need to be concise but explain what happened. - Polite. No one responds to insults. - Outline what you wish from this. What do you want to happen? - Firmness. You want to be taken seriously. Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter regarding the terrible experience that I had in your restaurant last Saturday. Last Saturday, my family and I went to your restaurant for dinner. At first, I was pleased by your welcoming crew members and speedy services. Everything went well until they served me the wrong doneness of the steak. I have ordered a well-done wagyu steak that day, but they served me rare wagyu steak. It was too raw for me to eat. In addition, I could see the blood coming out from the meat. Therefore, I would appreciate if you could refund the cost of the meal to me and speak to your kitchen crews about this matter. Outback steakhouse is one of my favorite restaurant for dining, I hope action will be taken by your side in order to avoid the case to be happened again. I hope that my request does not cause you any convenience. Your faithfully, Jayden Lee

The discussion paragraphs are not complete. There should still be 4 paragraphs in this presentation because of the following discussion reasons: 1. A proper introduction that indicates the name of the restaurant, the date, and the time of the visit. You may also include the name of the host and waiter assigned if you would like to. 2. A summary of the overall meal must be presented. Discuss how everyone enjoyed their order and how please they were with the staff service. 3. The third paragraph should indicate what the problem with your food was. In your current version, you do not indicate having tried to resolve the issue at the table by calling the attention of the server and host. Your reason for filing the complaint should be on the basis of their inaction regarding the situation. Why did they refuse to change the food after you informed them of the wrong order? What solutions did they suggest if any? 4. After explaining the events that occurred, then you can demand that only the portion of your meal be refunded. You cannot as for a full refund as there were no problems with the other orders. Do not forget to include your contact information beyond just your email address. You have mixed up present and past tense usage in the essay which will result in a lowered GRA score. The word count is also not enough to gain full scoring consideration for the LR and C+C scores. That was the result of not writing the correct number of paragraphs and also, not fully explaining the events as it occurred in the letter. This is a good effort at letter writing. However, you do not really know how to fully develop the discussion at this point. A complaint letter must contain complete information and the narrative must be seen as proof of wrongdoing on the part of the restaurant staff. That was not proven at all in this email. So the C+C score will more than likely be a failing one as well. It will definitely lower the TA score since the letter did not fully address the writing requirements of the task.

## abortion on demand One of those issues that have concerned law makers is whether female citizens are allowed to make their own decisions in relation to abortion or the governments should intervene for mental and physical health of them. While there are those opposing abortion on demand for moral reasons, I belong to the supporting team for future of women. Opponents argue that it is unreasonable for abortion to be legalized widely. Human's rights should be curtailed by the rights of others to free from any harms. Like drug laws, which public has raised no disagreement to, existing to guard against others be involved in a danger, the mother's rights are overruled by those to life of the unborn child. In addition, that abortion is becoming legally and religiously acceptable can encourage a life of gross self-indulgence that no government expects to see from their residents. Both genders should hold obligations for consequence of their sexual activities and banning can motivate people to have a more responsible attitude to sex and pregnancy. However, I believe that the perspective of supporters should be taken thoughtfully into consideration. If this form of birth control is not allowed at the wish of the pregnant women, they will go to "backstreet abortionists" where the majority of surgeries are performed by unqualified doctors and nurses in unsterile conditions. According to recent statistics that the World Health Organization have publicized, such unsafe abortion results in nearly 68000 deaths per year. It is highly possible that many young girls who become pregnant could loose their future, education and career by the birth of a child. There is no definitive answer that a fetus (foetus) has its own right, so that the alleged rights of a dividing cluster of cells should not be put ahead of a person.

The first two paragraphs that you have written are bordering on incoherent. The thoughts being presented are a jumbled mess due to the improper sentence structuring and word usage in the paragraphs. Only the last paragraph makes sense to a certain extent as I suspect that it is more of a cut and paste job from an uncited source rather than the original thought presentation coming from you, as the writer. From what I gather in this writing, you have done enough research to actually write a more extensive paper. You could write at least 5 paragraphs using the messily assembled topics in these paragraphs. You need to consult with a writing adviser to help you better present these reasons in a more appropriately formatted discussions. You may contact me privately regarding that service if you wish to.

## Percentage of adults by age group The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different ages in the UK who used the Internet every day from 2003-2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. The picture depicts the proportion of daily Internet users in 5 groups of age in the UK between 2003 and 2006. At first glance, there was an overall increase in the number of people using social media with 2006 being the year with the highest proportion of use. In addition, teenagers used the Internet the most among 5 age groups. In greater detail, UK's residents from 25-44 and 45-54 increased gradually from 50% to 80% and 60% to 80% respectiv[ely. The number of UK juveniles using the Internet started at 80% after which it witnessed a rise to 100% in 2005 and a final 10% drop in the last year of the period. 30% of people from 55-64 in the Uk were Internet users in 2003 then it experienced a considerable climb to 50% in 2006. Nearly half of the senior Internet users in 2006 were seen for people 65+ and there was no data in 2003 was recorded for this age group. *

The picture This is an incorrect identifier. This is not a picture. The task 1 essay requires you to identify the measurement type image. In this case, this is a columnar bar chart. This is different from the row bar chart that is a variation of the same image. In addition, teenagers used the Internet the most among 5 age groups. Incorrect trending reference. Once you represent the highest measurement, the next sentence should be the lowest measurement. You cannot combine various trends, you can only pair it up as highs and lows (when possible). Avoid the use of run on sentences in these presentations. The use of long sentences limits the GRA score in relation to punctuation usage skills. It creates a problem with the C+C considerations. It also, fails to represent the correct mix of sentence styles as required of the task presentation. Use at least 3, but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. That number will better represent the clarity required of the analysis presentation.

## The best way to teach children to cooperation is through team sports An opinion usually heard these days is that the best idea to make youngsters more collaborative is through team sports. From my perspective, I do agree with this notion despite some concerns with the other suggestions that I will mention in this essay. Many people believe that joining in team sports enables children to better understand about cooperation, which is the chief method, because of the following reasons. One of them lies on the essence of team sports - requiring at least two people to engage. Participating in such kinds of sport will create opportunities for childreen to meet and have conversations with their partners; thus, their relationships are about to expand. Additionally, these sports will shape their characters which brings up high moral human beings. For example, members of Viet Nam national football team possess very strong bonds of friendship, and they are also beloved of all since they are very affable with their fans and also have passionate patriotism. On the other hand, I hold a firm belief that there is many a way that makes children conjoin. One striking inspiration is doing charity works, including visit the orphanages as well as nursing homes. Children especially adolescents can spend their time donating their unused items such as clothes or books to needy people. From this action, they would know how to join hand to build a strong community to do good for society. Another good idea is entering clubs, which can serve as a platform for children to express their thoughts about some familiar problems they have observed. In consequences, youngsters are able to listen to and share with their members,being considered as the powerful tools when entering into the world. From what has been discussed above, it can be concluded that although the problem is explicit, some proposals, in my opinion, are more vital. What people should do is to pursue to encourage the next generations to implement methods mentioned above in order to become a willing citizens.

The response you have used in this presentation is incorrect. While it appears that you are giving a degree of measured response through the use of the word "despite", it does not actually accomplish the clarity of opinion in the presentation. You indicate that you agree with the opinion, but failed to indicate to what extent. You should have indicated that you "agree with this notion to the extent that..." in order to create a more appropriate response. Always establish the reason for your opinion as a thesis statement. That way you meet the measured extent response requirement. In this case, the opinion lacks clarity due to the lack of summarized reasoning basis. Never waste time discussing the benefits of the opposing discussion. The examiner does not care about that. He will not give that paragraph a score since it does not relate directly to your own opinion. Only 2 personal opinion supporting paragraphs will receive full scoring. In this case, partial scoring will be applied to the third paragraph but none for the 2nd paragraph. That is the paragraph that does not support your opinion. So it is invalid as a discussion point. The partial scoring that will be applied to the third paragraph may not be enough to achieve a passing score. That is because the overall scoring consideration for the essay will be based on an under developed discussion. It is under developed because of the lack of convincing argument to prove your extent response should be believed. Even your summary conclusion is incorrect and lacking in clarity. The summary conclusion should do just that. Restate the problem, your opinion, and reasons for your response within 40 words or, more specifically, within at least 2 sentences. Your conclusion lacks clarity in this instance because you did not recap the overall discussion points.

***Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to a workplace every day.*** ## Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages ? With the development of the technology, there are many alternative ways for individuals selecting their workplace. Some believe that employees worked at home instead of working at office have more benefits. Personally, I strongly believe that the merits of it are more rather than the drawbacks which will be present in the following paragraphs. To start with, working at home is beneficial for workers as they can save times and money. To move from home to workplace, people spend money on tickets, petrol and it waste their time while travelling. Therefore, teleworking is an appropriate way for financial saving. Moreover, remote workers have high productivity. When employees work at company, they often get interruption of time- consuming commute and working environment distraction. Moreover, they have more schedule flexibility. For example, in free time, they can spend time with family members. However, there are some difficulties of it. Workers are lack of community and teamwork. At home, spending long hours and collaborating with a computer screen and no face-to-face interaction with team members can be challenging. Although there are platforms for video calls, it is still not efficient than sitting together and brainstorm ideas to work effectively. Another reason for that is the shortage of office equipment. Setting up a home office can be highly cost as they have to buy a high-end laptop/ desktop, a strong internet connection, a fax/printer machine.... And that is not convenience for everyone. In conclusion, although it has some negative points, the positive side is more efficient as my opinions.

Rather than referring to the opinion you support as "it", use a more specific term based on the keyword provided. This will add clarity and accuracy to your opinion as needed by the preliminary score. By the way, watch out for the time reference errors. The past tense references cannot be used in a task 2 essay unless it refers to a previous personal experience or knowledge. The discussions are not grammatically accurate but those grammatical problems do not reduce the a curacy of the thought or idea presentation. The presentation works well and may even gain a passing score. I have to say though that there is a more specific and better scoring format for this presentation. Focus on the cohesiveness and coherence of the discussion. Since this is a comparative discussion prompt, the reasoning paragraphs need to show the advantage and disadvantage of 1 idea in one paragraph. That is why 2 reasons should be comparatively discussed over 2 reasoning paragraphs. The format is: Sentence 1: basic premise / reason / idea Sentence 2: explain the validity of the reason Sentence 3: oppose the idea with a specific reason Sentence 4: develop the idea explanation Sentence 5: offer a supporting example or personal experience / knowledge basis By using this format, you will successfully argue your opinion based upon your ability to invalidate the previous claim. In the process, you will meet the maximum scoring consideration for the major scoring sections. This is an essay that does not score based on number of reasons presented. The best scores come from the properly discussed, connected, and well explained reasons for only 2 individual ideas. You should easily notice this error in your presentation since your 2 reasoning paragraphs are not cohesive in the sense that the ideas provided are not explained, these are just listed with only a very light an unconvincing explanation provided in the paragraph.

***Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? There is an opinion that oral communication is more effective than written word. Personally, I wholeheartedly disagree with this statement and this essay will give some points below. One might argue that verbal language is a more powerful means of communication than written language. This is based on the assumption that spoken language is informal and usually involves body language and facial expressions. Therefore, it can be better understood by people of all ages than written language with often long sentences in complex tenses. Evidence can be seen in the way many young children who have not learnt to read and write yet can easily communicate with their parents, for example, by talking or crying. Despite the benefits outlined above, I believe that written communication plays a more integral roles than oral interaction. Since there are no records, the latter's ability to convey information effectively, though present, is restrained to the time and place that the process of communication takes place. Meanwhile, written language promotes communication across space and time as long as the medium (maybe books, articles, magazines, to name a few) exists. In this sense, written language can serve as solid evidence for future reference in case any confusions or conflicts occur. Besides, human can widen their knowledge through studying historical documents archived in the form of written texts that could otherwise evaporate by word of mouth. In conclusion, it is my view that written interaction is of more significance than verbal language for reasons associated with permanence. I will be very grateful to receive your feedbacks.

Your prompt restatement is accurate as it refers to an opinion stated by someone else as a fact, rather than you stating that it is a fact. Good job. Your opinion presentation is very good and uses the correct measured response. The problem with the presentation? It lacks the thesis statement. What is the short form of the basis of your opinion? Consider presenting it in summary form and indicating the long form explanation after it. That increases the preliminary score. When discussing this essay, it is important that the writer uses the correct comparison discussion format. That is to say, the writer should show evidence of the appropriateness or correctness of the public opinion first, then he should present his counter discussion as to why that is incorrect. By doing so, you prove the strength of your opinion based on an incorrect belief system. Done twice, in separate paragraphs, with different reasons, you will provide a highly concrete supporting presentation for your opinion and properly meet the C+C scoring criteria. While this essay format will still receive a score and, it may be a passing one, a higher and more than average score may be provided using the format I presented above. As for the reverse paraphrase section, the concluding summary does not quite meet the necessary requirement of 40 words covering at least 2 sentences. So that section may not receive a helpful score during an actual exam. Good job though. You proved that you understood the writing topic and instruction. You just need to use a better response format next time. Not bad for a beginner.

## technology at school Using technology as educational tools has a variety of advantages such as helping students more easily approach information, learning with multiple styles and promoting working together. Firstly, since the internet developed, it has changed the way students' study and research from only books or documents to technological devices like projectors, smart phones and computers. Thus, learners can access and retain more materials than before, so this is convenient and not difficult. In addition, social media shows us that many learners from regions lead to many kinds of learning styles as visual learners, auditory learners and so on. For example, for many pupils, they like to use recorded lessons, audiobooks and podcasts and others think that using PowerPoint lessons with graphs are more productive. Moreover, outside the classroom, ideas and opinions can be shared on social media such as Facebook, Instagram and so on. Thus, this is natural that bringing technology into study life will lead to rivalries, teamwork and cooperation.

The task 2 essay requires a 2-3 body paragraph depending upon the writing instructions. It appears to me that this discussion is based upon a single opinion essay, so the reasoning presentations should cover no more than 2 parts. However, this presentation is only a single discussion format. Reading through the paragraph indicates that it could easily have been divided into the required number. Reasons provided tend to be redundant in explanation and examples. The provided reasons are acceptable though and represent the correct single idea format in this presentation. The problem is that the writer has written too many words, without actually adding increasing clarity to the context. This is what makes the presentation weak as a reasoning example. The increased discussion did not translate to a high score. A shorter but more precise discussion would have delivered a better grade.

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING AN ESSAY SO HELP ME !!! Any feedback is appreciated. ## 3. Tell us about (up to) five activities or accomplishments ***in one or more of the following areas:*** Athletics: Member of my school's sports team as a goalkeeper in Handball, football, and floorball and as a centre (C) in the basketball team. As an athlete, I served as a team captain for 3 different teams and won many awards. It gave me some life-changing experiences and important skills, allowed me to improve my own abilities and boost my confidence in leading my teammates through intense competition. Club I was a member of the news club which exposed me to the skills of journalism and public speaking. I was also a part of the STEM club which provided additional chances to explore STEM topics and challenges through hands-on learning. I did my solo project making a Wire loop game, an Oobleck experiment and an Arduino project, for school fairs. Leadership Positions and Activities In my sophomore year, I was elected as a House captain. Being a leader, I was a role model in terms of attitude, attendance, behaviour and manners to all members. I helped organize and support House activities taking, vital steps to maintain a healthy atmosphere all around the year. Not only that, I organized and actively participated in faculty events as an event host. Work/Employment During school break, I help my parents to manage our family's two optical shops. I see through all the sales and marketing. Through this job, I learned many skills in customer service, teamwork, and communication. My work there taught me to excel at timed-order production, multitasking, and handling stress effectively during busy periods. Volunteer I volunteered at local polling stations, where I helped citizens verify the data of voting IDs in the voter's list, to ensure a successful and legitimate election. I worked on political campaigns and did statistical computer work. I advocated in sexual assault protests for the repeal of the 'one-year' statute of limitations on rape cases. Following widespread protests, the parliament amended the old act, which is a significant step forward. Service to Others For the last 2.5 years, my dad and I have been working together on a charitable effort to benefit the neighbourhood communities in Nepal's rural Kalikot district. As my father is an ophthalmic officer, we collaborated to organize a free eye camp. This camp was held for elderly people who are prone to various eye diseases in their old age and are unable to receive treatment. I participated in a charity and helped plan events like giving out warm clothing and instructing young children. We valued the service because dealing with young people and the elderly enables me to develop emotionally and socially.

Athletics This lacks a clear accomplishment reference. What you should be enumerating are the number of timer the teams you captained won, any MVP awards you received for team participation, or any other recognition you may have received owing to your position as team captain. This does not infer actual achievements in sports. Club You certainly were busy as a club member. However, the depiction needs to discuss notable activities you participated in. For example, being a member of the yearbook team would show an active school social setting participation. Focus on the STEM club instead. That has a marked participation mention. Leadership Positions and Activities Add a mention of the dispute mediation activities you may have had. Show how you handle group or individual discord as these could happen to you while in college. A true leader can lead in bad times as well so include that in the explanation. These are the points that need revisions or additional information.

Hello, looking for general feedback on this research essay and three areas of weakness in the paper. Thanks ## The Federal Reserve and the Strength of the U.S Economy: A Research Paper The Federal Reserve and the Strength of the U.S Economy With inflation running rampant around the world and the strength of the U.S economy constantly being questioned it is often asked who is responsible for fighting inflation and ensuring the strength of the U.S economy. This is where you can look the United States Federal Reserve. The year over year inflation rate from October 2021-2022 is 8.2 percent (U.S inflation calculator). This is a staggering number when comparing it to the average inflation of the past one hundred years being 3.29 percent annually. While most data predict inflation to be slowly coming down it will take a lot of work to get it to normal rates as well as in 2022 the United States experienced two quarters of negative gross domestic product (GDP) which usually means recession. This research paper will focus on how these issues can be fixed namely, The Federal Reserve can influence the rate of inflation, the overall strength of the United States economy and banking system through the tools and power they possess. To understand how the Federal Reserve operates and is tasked to do what it does today we must first look back at the history and why the organization was created in the first place. The Fed was created in response to a severe banking panic in 1907. "Bank run that wreaked havoc on the fragile banking system and ultimately led congress in 1913 to write the Federal Reserve Act" (Fed ST. Louis, pg.1, 2022). The Fed was created by Congress through a bill they wrote, when they were first created it was to strengthen the banking system to ensure banks didn't collapse and hurt the valuation of the dollar or overall economy. Today while the Federal Reserve is still tasked with those duties, they also have other responsibilities will be explained. Since the Federal Reserve is the central bank of the United States their responsibilities fall into four general areas. "Influencing money and credit conditions, supervising and regulating banks, maintaining stability of financial system, and providing financial services to the U.S government and institutions" (FED.GOV, Pg.1, 2022). In modern times you can see the responsibilities of the Fed are much broader than when it was first created in 1913. These broader responsibilities ensure they have the tools and authorization to be able to influence the economy and things like inflation. The last important piece of information to know about the Federal Reserve is who the chairman of the Fed is, this is the person at the top making all the final decisions on what they must do in terms of monetary policy. Jerome Powell is the current chairman and will be for the next 4 years as he was just re elected and they serve for 4-year terms. The board of the reserve consist of seven people with Powell being at the top. He is in control of the tools available to the Federal Reserve to fight inflation and influence the economy and banking systems in the United States. A tool the federal reserve has to their disposal is monetary policy. "Monetary policy influences inflation and the economywide demand for goods and services and the demand for employees who produces those goods and services" (FED.GOV, Pg.1, 2022). Monetary policy is basically the actions and tools the Federal Reserve use as a whole to promote the best economic conditions possible. Looking forward to an example of monetary policy the federal funds rate would be an example of monetary policy used by the fed. Any action taken by the fed to promote economic prosperity and low inflation is looked at as monetary policy. All the examples talked about in the next couple of paragraphs about the tools the Federal Reserve has access to for the purpose of fighting inflation and keeping the economy strong will be examples of monetary policy. The tools available to the Federal Reserve to fight inflation and keep the economy strong vary. One of the most notable when it comes to fighting an above average inflation rate like we have today is the federal funds rate. "The federal funds rate is the main benchmark interest rate that will influence how much money consumers pay to borrow or are paid to save" (Foster, pg.1, 2022). This rate set by the fed is the basis for all borrowing of money. Because the rate at which you can borrow money is set by the Federal Reserve, they can control how expensive it is to borrow money or how cheap it is. For example, during the Covid 19 crisis the federal reserve set interest rates to zero making it very cheap historically to borrow money. This was done to stimulate the economy in a time where people were locked down and not spending any money or going to work. This is one of the reasons the housing market began to explode in 2020 and 2021 because it was cheap historically to borrow money for a home. Since inflation started to skyrocket the Fed needed to do something to slow it down and bring it back to normal levels. This was the start of the fed increasing the federal funds rate in 2022. This was done to make it more expensive to borrow money which in turn will help bring inflation down. This rise in cost to borrow money will slow down the demand for goods and services. This is one of the Feds main tactics and tools they have in fighting and influencing inflation. Another highly effective tool used by the Federal Reserve to fight inflation and keep the United States economy strong is the act of buying and selling bonds in the open market and having reserve requirements for all U.S banks. The act of buying and selling bonds in the open market is a tactic that changes the supply of money. "If the Fed buys bonds in the open market, it will increase the money supply by swapping bonds for cash to the public and vice versa if they sell bonds, it will decrease the money supply" (Petroff, pg.1, 2021). Given the fact that the Fed has control over the money supply by simply injecting the open market with money via buying bonds or in turn selling bonds to take money out of the market shows how much control they really have over the economy. The ability to be able to control the money supply is very important regarding inflation. If money supply is too high like it got to during the 2020 Pandemic, then inflation will increase as the money supply is moving faster than the goods produced. Therefore, the federal reserve started to sell bonds into the open market in 2022 to take money out of the circulating money supply to slow inflation and hopefully bring it back down to a normal level. This is where you will hear about the Federal Reserve balance sheet which includes all the assets they own and could potentially sell or buy to the open markets. Bank reserve requirements are another tool set in place to protect the banks from things like the bank runs in 1907 that was the main reason congress went ahead and formed the Federal Reserve. Bank requirements set by the Fed are "the amount of funds that a bank holds in reserve to ensure that it is able to meet liabilities in case of sudden withdrawals" (Chen, pg.1, 2022). This rule was obviously put in place to prevent bank runs like in 1907. This reserve requirement makes sure that the banks have enough money to meet all sudden liabilities. This also ensures that banks do not fail which would be bad for the economy and the U.S dollar which is important to keep strong. This system also ties into the federal discount rate, if a bank does not have enough funds to meet the reserve set by the Fed they can borrow from other banks or from the central bank. The amount of money it will cost to borrow these funds is determined by what the federal discount is at the time. Just like interest rates during the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic the reserve requirement was set to zero to increase the money supply so the economy could fight back shutdowns and not completely crash and burn. The tools the Federal Reserve use are obviously effective and needed in today's day and age to keep inflation down and keep the U.S economy running strong. In practice these tools are just as strong as they are in theory. There is extensive history of the Feds use of these tools during times of economic distress. The Great Inflation from 1965 to 1982 is a great example of just that. This was a very defining moment for the federal reserve as everything was at stake. During the time of the Great Inflation Paul Volcker was the chairman of the Fed and making all the decisions when it came to monetary policy. "To fight inflation which peaked out at 15 percent year over year Paul Volcker raised interest rates up to 19-20 percent" (FedResHistory, pg.1, 2022). This is a staggering number when it comes to the federal funds rate, this made borrowing money very expensive and pulled a lot of liquidity out of the markets to really kill the horrible inflation. To put this into perspective today interest rates are at 4.5 percent and just the increase from zero to 4.5 percent has had dramatic effects on the economy and borrowing money. Volcker's bold tactics ended up working as inflation dropped to normal levels at about 3.5% towards the end of the crisis. Although there always will be times of economic distress the Federal Reserve works to fight back and bring the economy back stronger as well as keep inflation at bay. One of the more well-known times of economic downfall in today's day and age is the Great Financial crisis of 2007-2009. This was also a big time for the Federal Reserve as they had their work cut out for them to try and fix the mess cause by the collapse of the housing markets. The Fed acted quickly to try and support the economy. "The Fed also cut its federal funds rate to zero and began a series of large-scale purchases of U.S treasury and mortgage-backed securities" (FedResHistory, pg.1, 2022). These actions by the Fed prevented the Great financial crisis or knows as the Great Recession as well from not being any worse than it already was. They were also creating programs to help the banks meet the reserve requirements. While we are in a somewhat similar situation today with the federal funds rate going from zero in 2020 to now above 5% as the Fed fights inflation its important to notice that when looking back in past times of economic distress these actions taken by the Federal Reserve are always in the best interest of the economy. History shows us these tools work to fight inflation and keep the U.S economy strong and moving forward even if there are a couple years of distress here and there as that is normal. The 2007-2008 financial crisis also created new programs to stop banks from holding so much money in their reserves which came from the Fed stimulating the market, just as they did in 2020. "In October 2008, Congress granted the Fed the authority to pay depositary institutions interest on reserve balances held at reserve banks" (FRBSF, Pg.1, 2012). This basically made it, so banks did not want to hold so much cash that they were over the reserve limit. A lot of banks were doing this at the time, and it was a problem because money was not flowing through the economy. This interest rate of excess reserves by the Fed forced the banks to loan the money out of other smaller banks or people looking for loans. This new form of monetary policy fixed a problem that had never occurred before. The formation of new monetary policy and the Federal reserve's ability to adapt to new situations shows just how effective they can be. Knowing the history of the Federal Reserve makes it easier to understand the how they operate and what their main purpose is. While they were initially created to start a new banking system in the United States through a bill in congress their responsibilities have increased significantly. The tools and power they possess give them the power and responsibility to ensure the strength of the U.S economy which includes fighting inflation when it's elevated like today. Now, having a basic understanding of these tools and how they work to accomplish those goals makes it very easy to realize that the Federal Reserve has a huge impact on the economy and inflation. Whether it be from monetary policy, the federal funds rate, or even bank reserve requirements all these tools and actions by the Federal Reserve are done for specific reasons to ensure the strength of the United States economy. Works Cited

Create a stronger opening statement and thesis presentation by removing the cited sources within the first paragraph. As a rule, this part should only contain your insights and assumptions as these will be discussed in the next paragraphs. Outline the discussion path here with the thesis statement. Just introduce everything at that point. That is all that is needed in that part. "Bank run that ... Federal Reserve Act" (Fed ST. Louis, pg.1, 2022). Do not use citations that stand alone. What is this about? Your need to explain its relevance to the reader otherwise, it is just a confusing throw away reference. Develop this as a related discussion presentation. This appears to be a repeated error in the paper. Consider this as one of the weak points of the paper covering incorrect in-text citation format. \* Limited review provided due to paper length. contact me privately for a comprehensive review.

**The question:** Write about the following topic: ***Society today pays less attention to women's sports than to men's sports. ## Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative trend?*** *Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.* **My answer:** Nowadays, female athletes gain less public attention than males. I believe that the difference in their physical fitness contributes to this negative trend. Because of the structure of the body, the competition of female athletes is not as intense as male athletes'. The intensity and competitive level of the men's game are more likely to outcompete women's in most strength sports. And the public is more willing to watch games that give them greater excitement, only with the exception of some skilled sports such as figure skating, synchronised swimming and gymnastics which people enjoy the beauty of women in these sports. So that is one reason why female athletes get so little attention. This is a negative trend for the development of sports. For sports, the sportsmanship displayed by the participants is considerably more essential than the final place or the ability of the players. Even though most sports that women participate in are not as intense and wonderful as men's due to physical conditions; the fighting spirit shown by female athletes in competitions is not weaker than that of male athletes. Therefore, it is unfair not to pay attention to the hard work of female athletes simply because of their ability. In addition, the lack of attention can make women less enthusiastic about sports, and turning women off sports goes against the original idea of sports competitions that sport is about participation and sportsmanship, instead of the level and ranking of the players. In conclusion, the physical fitness of female athletes is lower than that of male athletes and this result will cause a decline in competitive intensity makes the audience more willing to watch the male athletes compete with each other. This phenomenon will reduce the enthusiasm of women for athletic competition and defeat the meaning of athletic competition. (302 words) Thank you very much for taking the time to read my paper and give me comments and suggestions on my current writing level. Have a nice day!

The topic interpretation and your point of view should stand alone in the paragraph. You will automatically receive a failing mark for that section in this presentation As you proceeded to discuss your opinion in the same paragraph. All explanatory and reasoning paragraphs must come after the restatement and opinion section. This is the action that created an incorrect response format. This should've been a 4 paragraph essay. A task 2 essay will never be composed of 3 paragraphs. That would earn an automatic failing score. You have a tendency to start your sentences with conjunctions. An error that shows how your English fluency is betrayed by your lack of grammar rules and proper sentence formation knowledge. The words "and" and "because" are used as sentence coordinators that connect sentences and phrases. These errors will affect your GRA score.

Essay Title: ***It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?*** Children are the age that they don't know about the world or society that much. It is quite hard to know what is correct and what is wrong. This is to say, parents need to teach them what it should be or shouldn't be. But sometimes the way that they use to teach their kids is wrong too. Punishment is significant to make the kids know that they must not do that. On the other hand, some people are questioning about some punishment whether it's too much. So I disagree with punishing the children and will give my opinions below. Nowadays, there's a lot of children growing up. In Asia, there's a lot of parents that still punish their kids by scolding and beating them. Is it a good thing to do ? This method might be useful for some kinds of children, But in the family, violence should not exist. When the children are scolded or beaten, it might haunt them for a long time. For instance, there's a lot of news that shows that the kids are scolded and beaten, mostly panicked, absent-minded, depressed and repressed. Even the punishment wasn't that harsh, but if they are often punished, the kids might be repressed and think that they're not good enough for their parents. Instead of punishing them, why don't parents teach and talk nicely to their children? Perhaps, the reason why the children still do wrong behaviour is because they don't know why it is wrong. Parents should tell them the reason why they have to do this and not do this, what's the consequences of this act and how people feel after this act. Giving them reasons makes the children understand a lot of things and grow up a lot. In conclusion, punishment isn't the best way to teach children, especially the violence is extremely unjustifiable. Talking nicely and giving reasons are more useful. These things help the children grow up to be good adults in the future. I strongly insist that the punishment should not be physical, rather psychological and practical.

The first major reason that this essay will fail is that you did not follow the writing requirements. You were asked for the extent of your dis/agreement and what sort of punishments teachers and parents can apply to erring students and children. Not only did you fail to deliver a measured response, you also altered the second discussion topic by not giving a relevant response to it. As the full discussion you wrote no longer provided the correct content, the examiner will have no choice but to give an overall failing score with regards to response accuracy. You failed the test because you did not understand both the questions and writing instructions. The second failing reason relates to the word count. The essay has an excessive but irrelevant to the discussion word count. An examiner would most certainly say that this essay never had a chance at a passing score.

Topic: ***When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? My essay It is true that many people now decide to choose their job only based on the income they get. However, I do not agree with this idea since there are myriad factors that are equally important to salary that people are bound to consider. On the one hand, a job with abundant and flexible salary can help people meet their basic needs in their life, such as housing, expenditure on commodities, traveling, health care. The benefits of having satisfying income make people happy and powerful. Besides, money is a motivation for people to work harder and more effectively, because they feel that they deserve with the money they get based on what they do and their passion for the job. For instance, when an architect get good salary, they are motivated a lot because they know that their products and effort are worth-paying and valuable. Money is important to people, however, there are still other crucial factors that they need to concern before making a decision whether to take it. If people choose an appropriate job based on your interests, they will be fascinated to complete all the tasks even if they feel frustrated and depressed due to their lousy boss or unfriendly colleagues. On the other hand, money can buy happiness, but it is not a sustainable way. The main factors making people optimistic are only generated by the environment around them, which includes the workplace, positive relationships with their colleagues and friends at work. That is why a fulfilling job which suits you is the best and wise option for you to contribute to society and create a good lifestyle and thinking. In conclusion, although salary is important to everyone, that is not the only key thing to consider when choosing a job

The prompt itself does not ask you to consider the truth behind the presented discussion point. Therefore, to do so in the restatement is a scoredown. You did not keep to the given discussion. You added a claim that is not required nor found in the original. It has made the restatement inaccurate. A writer's opinion must meet the response formatting needs as indicated. When the correct response is not provided in the complete or expected manner, that section could earn either a partial score credit or a full failing score. In this case a partial score credit will be provided due to the missing extent response. Where is the emotional or logical degree response? The combined early score for the establishing discussion paragraph may not be a passing one or could not be high enough to produce more than just an overall passing score. There were heavy mistakes made in that section that could prevent the ideal score from being achieved. Grammar is not a problem for you. The sentences are properly written to meet most of the requirements. The problem is in the discussion format. There exists an unfamiliarity with the correct discussion presentation, based on discussion instructions on your part. All these discussion instructions are single opinion based on 2 supporting reasons in the presentation. The writing instructions will dictate when a comparative essay is needed. Some indicators are. - compare the advantages and disadvantages - do the positives outweigh the negatives - What are the pros and cons Where these instructions are not present, a comparison is not needed. The essay will not get a final passing score due to the incorrect discussion presentation. Regardless of the good work in the LR, C + C , and grammar sections, the essay remains underdeveloped as there is not enough evidence to prove the writer's opinion. Hence the 2 supporting paragraph need. As for the conclusion errors, that is set to be another set of error discussions. The above are the most important mistakes that should be fixed going forward.

**The question:** Write about the following topic: ***Research suggests that many prisoners commit crimes again after being released from prison. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? SUGGEST SOME SOLUTIONS.*** Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. **The answer:** Nowadays, there are more and more released offenders who tend to commit crimes again. The unaltered pattern of a criminal's behaviour and people's discrimination against them contributed to this phenomenon. Numerous criminals choose to reoffend because prisons do not affect their mind, they still act as they did before they stayed in a cell or even worse than before. Prisons should do more to educate and rehabilitate prisoners than only to punish or imprison them. Punishment will genuinely make those offenders feel suffering, but suffering does not necessarily make them want to be proper citizens, they may still commit crime as before. They will still use illegal means to acquire others' assets or use violence to solve problems when they are out of gaol, if prisons fail to drive home to these criminals that committing crime is a shame, and the price of crime. Secondly, people's prejudice against these people released from prison (even though they hope to become proper citizens) can also lead them to reoffend. Due to this discrimination, it is difficult for a former criminal to find employment, not only that critical units of the state would not accept them, but also small businesses and even they cannot be a courier or cleaner. Numerous former criminals are unable to find a job and cannot even feed themselves and their families, so they can only rob or steal others' property to make sure they can survive. This trend can be tackled in two ways. First, prisons should strengthen the psychological construction of criminals, rather than just focusing on using stiff punishment. Making criminals not want to commit crimes is far more effective in reducing repeat crime than making criminals fear punishment. If an ex-criminal deeply believes that crime is shameful, he will not commit it again even if he has the ability and the opportunity. The second solution is that the government can teach these released prisoners skills which can let them survive in society and strengthen their employment. For these released offenders who want to become qualified citizens, if they can feed themselves in a legal and decent way, they are less likely to commit another crime. In conclusion, prisons should pay more attention to the psychological education of prisoners. And in the meantime, offering jobs to ex-offenders could also help tackle the rise in reoffending. (389 words) And excuse me, could someone please tell me the approximate score of this essay in TA, LR, CC and GRA respectively if it is in a real IELTS test? Thank you for reading this paper and providing valuable comments. Have a nice day!

could someone please tell me the approximate score of this essay Contact me privately for comprehensive scoring services. It is not part of our free review offering anymore. The standard format of a task 2 essay is 4 paragraphs unless it is a discuss both views and give your opinion presentation. In which case there is a specific 5 paragraph (optional) presentation that can be used in the presentation. This presentation is, in effect, over discussed since the maximum writing requirement is 300 words. You already knew that didn't you? You already copied my advice to give to a student here. Which is why I was hesitant to advice you until it became necessary to do so. That is why you have the plagiarism warning. Your main problem is over-discussion. Do not write more than 5 sentences per paragraph. conciseness gets a better score.

## population in japan The question: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. ***The table below shows the Japanese population by different age groups from 1970 to 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** You should write at least 150 words. **The answer:** The chart presents information about three different age groups in Japan during the period from 1960 to 2000, and projections until 2040. At the beginning of the 1960s, the 15-46 age group accounted for almost two thirds of the Japanese population, while the figure for under-14-year-old people is relatively low (30% only). And the smallest age group is the over-65s, who made up only 3% of the population at that time. But all the situation changed dramatically in the following forty years. Although people aged 15-46 were still the major part of the Japan demographic, the proportion of them was volatile. It reach a new high (around 75%) in 1990 but quickly dropped to about 62% a decade later. And the percentage of people aged under 14 gradually declined to 20% by the end of 2000, while the figure for people aged over 65 increased noticeably to 20% (on a par with the under 14 age group). And the proportion of the 15-46 age group and people aged under 14 may keep failing sharply to approximately 55% and 4% respectively until 2040. By comparison, the percentage of over-65s age groups is likely to grow significantly to 50%, only slightly less than the 15-46 age group. Overall, the proportion of elderly people in Japan is rising rapidly, while the proportion of middle-aged people and children is both showing a moderate decline. By 2040, the proportion of the elderly and middle-aged population is expected to be closer, and considerably higher than the proportion of children. (253 words) ***For those of you who have read this paper, could you please give me some advice on IELTS Task 1? I am not familiar with the composition structure of IELTS Task 1. When practicing Task 1, I often find that when I finish expressing what I want to express, it usually takes more than 20 minutes, and the number of words is far more than the 150 words mentioned in the question. How can I solve this problem? Please tell me, thanks.*** *

The number one requirement of this task is the ability of the writer to say what he means clearly using the best descriptive words possible, while using actual data from the image. This is a quick analysis presentation. It does notrequire indirect then direct references. State the data in the paragraph, not in the parenthesis. Avoid exaggerated and emotional references. Save that for specific task 2 discussions. The task 1 essay is not a creative writing exercise. There is no need to overstate information. That sends the analysis off track and renders the presentation less than accurate to the reader. These changes should lessen your word count and keep you within the 20 minute mark.

## WATER USAGE diagram ***The chart below shows the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.*** **Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The diagram displays the percentage of water usage for several objectives in some regions of the world. Overall, the chart is separated into three usages such as industrial use with white color, agricultural use with white color and fill with the line, and domestic use with black color. Most developed countries utilize water for industrial areas. Meanwhile, developing countries use water in farming areas. Based on the data, I will divide the percentage of water used into three groups. First, the group consists of South America, Central Asia, and Africa, which use water by ranking for farming, domestic, and industrial areas. North America and Europe are in the second group. These two regions used water majority for industrial needs (48% and 53%), agricultural needs (39% and 32%), and only a few percent (13% and 15%) for domestic use. The last group is South East Asia, with 81% spent water for agricultural fields, 12% on industrial, and the last 7% on domestic. (161 words) Please help me to evaluate my writing skills, read and comment if it's possible, and please also give a score. Thank you in advance. *

It would help you improve your Task 1 writing style if you refer to other examples with regards how to write it and how to better identify the images presented. Your essay is a non passing one at this point because it does not meet the writing requirements of the task. I guess you are self studying which is why you made these accidental errors in your writing. For starters, you need to identify the image provided in a single descriptive word. You were not provided with a diagram, but you were provided with a chart. But what kind of chart? The correct identifier is a pie chart. You need not over describe the image provided. Do not mention how the information is divided but give the type of information division instead. Remember to indicate the measurement used next time. A task 1 essay is always composed of 3-4 paragraphs. 3 paragraphs for one image, 4 paragraphs for more than 2 images. So you already get a failing score for the presentation format and expected response format. You should not describe what you are going to do, just do it. This is a report paper, not an opinion paper. Do not integrate task 2 writing requirements in a task 1 essay. These are 2 different formats and require different information presentation styles. You did your best to present a proper task 1 essay. The problem, is that your idea of how it should be formatted and presented is different from the actual scoring requirement. The presentation is nothing but a disorganized outline of your thoughts, it is not a proper report presentation. Next time, outline your ideas based on the image grouping and then write the draft. That way you get a better idea of what you want to say and how you should say it. There are ample examples of task 1 essays at this forum that you can learn from. I suggest you read the previous practice essays for this topic as listed in the Similar Discussions section under this post. You are sure to gain useful knowledge from it.

## phones ban at schools In the ever-changing world, when technology and digital devices are playing a prominent role in people's lives, current children are believed to be the earliest generation to approach and grow up with these devices. When adults supposed that in the school, phones or tablets should be forbidden, I reckon that children should be allowed to use their digital devices in appropriate ways. There are various reasons why phones should be stayed away from children, especially during the time they study at school. First of all, students easily to engrossed in recreational activities on applications on their phones when they use social media, playing games, chatting, without control. As a result, they will be distracted and can not concentrate on their work at school. Moreover, some unoffical information on the internet can exert a tremendous impact on students's ways of thinking and behaviour. On the other hand, it is believed that children can utilize their time of studying when they can use their own devices. Some educational apps are helping pupils to acquire new knowledge by effectve ways. Not only that, social media activities can help children to make more friends, be more talkative and have more relationships when they can connect with people around the globe. It is also an efficient way for them to reduce their stress at school and unwind their mind. In the final analysis, I reaffirm my conviction that phones and others technology devices can have both posiitive and negative impact on children's physical and mental health. To help them utilize the benefit of these devices, parents should talk more with their children and explain the merits and demerits of consuming phones.

This is an essay that requires 2 comparison points and several writer's opinion in its discussion development. Based on the way the restatement was presented along with the opinion s the response should have covered 3 paragraphs in the following format: Par. 2: 1st public opinion reasoning + writer's point of view of the discussion. Par. 3: 2nd public opinion reasoning + writer's opinion of this reason. Par. 4: Writer's personal opinion + explanation. While pronoun usage can be found in this essay, he is not referring to the correct audience with it He should use pronouns to indicate other people's opinions and his own. The current format does not really work based on the required discussion format. The approach is not really applicable since the comparative nature of the debate topic was not met. S how what is right and wrong with each public opinion.Then say whether you support it or not. Explain why. Present your personal opinion based on personal reasons if your opinion is not aligned with the public opinions provided. Your stand-alone opinion is optional. The main discussion surrounds the provided topics only. That is what the examiner will expect from the response of the exam taker.

## Internally young forever Todays culture seems to be obsessed with looking younger, weather it's getting Botox, laser treatments, elective surgery or Viagra. But, what if we could actually be younger internally? Can we preserve or reverse our aging process deep in our DNA and cells? Well, maybe not like Benjamin Button but yes, some scientist believe we can. David Sinclair is a biologist and geneticist from Australia. He's been working in a lab to create a supplement to preserve the longevity of a person's life span. As we age, we lose a lot! NMN is a big thing we have when we're younger but lose as we age. This is Dr. Sinclair's main focus in the lab. He believes taking this supplement an help the aging process. Exercise is also something we can do to increase NMN in our body, according to Dr. Sinclair. Sinclair also believes aging is a disease because we can get memory loss, other disease, cancers, and ultimately die from it. Dr. Sinclair is fifty-two but looks like he's forty! He's been taking this supplement for years but hasn't released it to the public yet. "The top tips are simply: Focus on plants for food, eat less often, get sufficient sleep, lose your breath for 10 minutes three times a week by exercising to maintain your muscle mass, don't sweat the small stuff and have a good social group," Sinclair said in cnn.com reverse aging itself scn wellness by Sandee LaMotte June 2, 2022 Another part of longevity of life we look at is nutrition. Zach Effron hosted a documentary on Netflix about the blue zone countries a few years ago. These blue zone countries have the healthiest people in the world. They live longer, they don't have obesity, memory loss or the other diseases that seem so common in America. Some of these countries are Ikaria, Greece, Okinawa, Japan, Ogliastra, Sardinia. In the blog, "The blue zones: Lifestyle habits of the world's longest-living populations, the author makes an ethos and logos argument. Laura Dan writes about the scientific research done over the years with certain areas of the world. Dan, also writes about the desire of living a long quality life by mirroring the people in these areas of the world's lifestyle. Laura Dan says "through their research, they identified regions of the world with the largest percentage of individuals 100 years of age or older, called the blue zones. The people of these regions engage in similar lifestyle habits, such as consuming a plant-heavy diet and prioritizing tight-knit social networks". Some of these blue zones listed are Loma Linda, California, Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica and Sardinia, Italy. We seem to take advantage of our health and do not always take the initiative to take care of ourselves to the best of our abilities. Heart disease is the second highest cause of deaths in the U.S. 805,000 Americans have a heart attack. In doing my research, I have found that heart disease is mostly from an unhealthy lifestyle. Not moving around much or making exercise as apart of our daily or weekly routine. Also, eating an unhealthy diet. Such as, fast food, fried foods, high in sugar foods and huge potions. Living a gluttonous and sloth like life. Although sometimes genetics do factor in. Another health risk that comes with aging for Americans is Osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is due to bone density loss which can increase the chances of breaking a bone. This can lead to much more health problems. It's harder to heal the older we get and if we break our hip during a fall we can be sedentary for awhile. Not being able to move around how we are used to moving can cause mental health issues, weight gain, and weakening other bones and muscles. Half of Americans 50 and older have loss in bone density. There are much more diseases that are associated with aging but the last one I will mention in this paper is Alzheimer's. 6.5 million Americans 65 and older have Alzheimer's disease. It is the fifth leading cause of death in people 65 and older. It's a horrible disease that not only does the person with the disease suffer but also their families suffer taking care of them and seeing their loved ones go through this. It changes the person they love and it hurts their care takers. Some say we have more control over our longevity than we previously thought. For so long we have focused on treating rather than preventing and maintaining our health. Well, it seems like that's changing. We're more aware of what we put in our bodies and staying active in a smart way.

some scientist Some is a plural adjective so it cannot be used with a singular reference. Use the indefinite article "a" instead to refer to a singular/ particular number. Change "believe" to the correct third-person singular simple present indicative form "believes" to complete the grammar correction in that part. we lose a lot! Such over emphasis is unacceptable in an academic research paper. Emotional statements like these create a bias presentation in a paper required to be neutral in stance. Either tone it down or remove the statement. NMN You are too excited about the research. You totally forgot to define and introduce this term to the reader. It left me confused. What is this? Why dowe produce it? Why is it important? \* Limited review provided due to paper length. Contact me privately for a comprehensive review.

## export earnings (2015-2016) The bar chart illustrates the export earnings of the USA from five different products. The table below shows the percentage change in values for five different products. Generally speaking, except for the case of gems and jewelry and agricultural products, all the surveyed categories experienced an upswing trend in their export values from 2015 to 2016. Additionally, the figure for textiles observed the most dramatic change throughout the examined period. Between 2015 and 2016, petroleum product export earnings increased by 3%, from $60 billion to more than $63 billion, while agricultural product export earnings remained relatively stable. By contrast, the figure for gems and jewelry started at about $40B, but later it witnessed a fall of 5.18% in 2016. In 2015, the export value of engineered goods was around $57 billion, rising to more than $60 billion in 2016. Such a growth rate, however, was even more pronounced in the case of textiles, with a sharp increase of 15.24%, from more than $25 billion to around $31 billion in just one year of the examined period. *

Always remember that this report is written on the assumption that the reader does not have a copy of the image on hand. Therefore, using image locations in the statement is useless. That is an incorrect writing format that will result in deductions. As the writer, you are expected to deliver the image information without the need to resort to location references. Even though the word " generally" was used to indicate a trending statement, the use of factual data in the presentation altered the purpose and meaning of the paragraph. A general statement should have been made using estimates, with measurement indicators but not actual data such as indicative years. A differentiation between image trend descriptors should also be used in the explanation. This is another format problem and deduction. Yes, even small errors have small point reductions. One could actually fail the test that way as it all adds up in the end. Using the 4 paragraph format was the correct overall presentation to use. Your main problem stems from the response format problems rather than overall formatting. The reporting paragraphs will be scored less due to the incorrect paragraph formatting and GRA issues. A complete academic paragraph requires a 3-5 sentence presentation. A complete sentence uses one idea per line. The overall essay lacks in proper sentence structure usage. The GRA score is going to be low due to the lack of varied sentence types, minimal use of varied punctuation macks, and the constant use of eun-on sentences.

## children Discipline Should children be imparted self-monitoring by their biological parents or should the government shoulder this responsibility on account of school discipline proved ineffective in contemporary epoch? In this essay, I shall discuss both sides of this controversial issue prior to going on to state why I tend to agree with the notion that parents are probably to blame whenever a child becomes disrespectful or develops unacceptable behaviors. Those in favor of government intervention aimed at reforming behavioral problems of children, often lay particular stress on a high-disciplined generation since the state can resort to policy instruments concerning the importance of this attribute, including incentives, bans and mandates, information campaigns, and nudges. Only by doing so can public policies foster generally acceptable standards of behavior in the youth and raise emotionally stable adults. The argument, therefore, is that government involvement constitutes one of the viable solutions to tackle the lack of discipline in school. Hence, policy instruments capable of engendering behavior change on the part of citizens, especially the juveniles, have greatly assisted educators in surmounting disciplinary obstacles. Convincing as the above-mentioned appear to be, there are many who believe that teaching children responsible behavior and self-control is commonly attributed to parental onus as parents have been deemed to be the most influential role models in a child's life. In other words, it is strategically vital to seek the most effective parenting methods that ought not to be relied heavily on corporal punishment since indiscriminately using disciplinary measures or inflicting pain on children to cease them to misbehave solely instills in them gratuitous violence of resolving the problems. This is also a raging debate about the indiscipline among children in schools in which a conducive learning environment should have been created. Accordingly, parents need empowering to be more involved in school discipline policies and procedures at best for the sake of hindering young generation from the waywardness and irresponsibility. In conclusion, there seem to be valid reasons on both sides of the argument and ideally, not only is government intrusion considered to be virtually indispensable to aid schools in correcting misbehavior of students but also their parents should cooperate. Yet, I am consistently a staunch supporter of the idea that children should be brought up in a home in which there is unconditional love along with clear boundaries, limits, rules and consequences to make them consciously move from obedience to accountability.

Your restatement is confusing to read. To be honest, it is not even remotely close to the original discussion topic. Even your personal opinion in so disconnected from the instructions and discussion bases that it does not meet task requirements. The preliminary score of this essay is on the failing side because of the aforementioned reasons. The exam taker clearly has incapacities when it comes to the overall writing requirements. So much so that this essay, in its totality will not meet sectional passing scores. I do not know what topic you are discussing in this essay but this is not reflective of the original discussion points. Your comprehension skills in relation to the instructions are severely off base. No amount of word usage will make this a passing essay. It is over written and also incomprehensible for the most part. Your improvement points should address comprehension, grammar usage, sentence structure, and relevant word usage. These may be addressed point by point in your ESL classes.

## the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults In recent years, the population of young adults has been far higher than that of elderly people in some countries. This trend may be advantageous to some extent, but I am of the opinion that its drawbacks are eclipsed by its benefits. On the one hand, an increasing young population and a falling old one contribute to national economic development. In fact, young people tend to acquire knowledge in a quicker way than the elderly. Therefore, the country will have a well-educated prospective workforce in the near future, leading to economic growth. Furthermore, there are several social welfare expenses for the elderly. These could include pension and healthcare services. With a decreasing old population, the government can save a large amount of money; therefore, it can invest their budget in some more urgent aspects of life involving education, infrastructure, poverty, and so on. On the other hand, I believe that this phenomenon possesses more demerits than merits. Firstly, the large number of young people may result in job losses. As the labor market is becoming increasingly competitive, it is undoubtedly difficult for young job seekers to find a high-paying job. Consider Vietnam, where many university graduates are unable to find work despite holding excellent bachelor's degrees. Second, while young people are apprehensive, the older generation has more work experience. They seem to be more dominant than the young when it comes to complicated cases. Too many young workers in a company can lead to unproductivity. In conclusion, in spite of some advantages, I argue that this trend comprises more disadvantages associated with employment loss and companies' unproductivity.

There is a redundancy existing in your opinion statement. The double presentation of your openion in a single sentence led to a confusing idea presentation. The fust half of the sentence is already clear and only required the short reasoning topics to support it. The last half of the statement was the correct response but it was lacking the summarized reasons presentation. So, even though the restatement is accurate, the paragraph will still receive demerits in terms of accuracy, coherence, and word usage because of o presentation confusion.. Now, scoring is only applied to relevant paragraphs. Your first reasoning presentation does not qualify for scoring. This presentation contradicts your previously stated point of view. The examiner expects to read 2 supporting reasons in independent paragraphs. What does this mean? You are showing an indecisive opinion, meaning you cannot really support your own opinion as the essay requires. This runs counter to the single opinion support requirement. It will be stricken from consideration and deducted from the word count. It will be an obstacle to passing the teat. What you should have done was focus on developing the 2 reasons you presented in the second paragraph.These are the 2 independent reasons that should have been developed within 5 sentences per paragraph. Properly explaining these reasons would have resulted in a maximum overall scoring consideration. The concluding summary also does not meet the I sentence, 40 word requirement so it cannot be given a passing mark either. You understood the topic and discussion requirements. It was the response format that is incorrect. I am sure you will do better next time as you now have a writing guideline to go by.

## the impact of music Music plays an indispensable part in many aspects of people's lives. While many point out that helping people relieve stress is the most crucial role of music, I disagree with this idea because I believe that music has other equally important functions including driving people's productivity and support musicians to convey their emotions or messages. On the one hand, I believe that one of music's undeniably outstanding missions is being a measure for people's pressures and mental strains. Firstly, from a scientific perspective, healing music with slow rhythms can curb the production of cortisol - the stress hormone, and enhance the dopamine generation cycle - the hormone stimulating our brains to receive positive emotions. In reality, in the past few years, the emerge of million-stream "healing" or "chilling" playlists with a wide range of Jazz songs, piano cover audios, or classical tracks on streaming platforms like Youtube, Spotify, and Souncloud has become a prominent trend. The huge number of streams as well as the increasingly monthly listeners quantity ascertain the role of music as a tool of relaxing. Moreover, to musicians, singers or other individuals working in the music industry, music may be like a magical remedy for stresses, or even mental illnesses. Many renowned artists like Billie Janet Jackson, Halsey, Eilish, etc. publicly disclosed how they struggled wth mental health issues and how music became a supplement type in their treatment process of emotional breakdowns. However, music can bring other irrefutable benefits to mankind: to boost working or studying productivity and to unveil implicit feelings and messages. First, when listening to music, people can enhance their deep concentration level and cognitive capacity - two fundamental factors for individuals working in fields requiring the utter vigilance and logical thingking such as programmers, software engineers or scientific researchers. Another key benefit of music is its ability to dedicately express songwriters' thoughts, emotions, and messages, which other tools' such as stories, poems, or speeches may not be as effective as. Thanks to lyrics, beats and melodies, a sad love stragedy, a desire to seize the freedom or a pride in hometown landscapes can be described vividly. Therefore, musicians can find sympathy from their audience, bring positive energy into life or awake listeners' hidden compassions and passions. Michael Jackson - a king of pop sucessfully provoked people's sense of responsibilty for our Earth through classical songs like 'Heal the world', 'We are the world', 'Earth song', etc. In conclusion, I disagree with the view that the most significant role of music is supporting people in relieving stress, because I believe that productive capacity intensifying and affections communicating are music's other equally important functions.

When asked to write an extent response, do your best to actually quantify your response with a type of emotional measurement. Do not use a basic dis/agree response because that in an incomplete response and will only be partially scored. Indicate a reference to a full, strong, or partial measurement to your dis/agreement to create a properly formatted openmon that will receive full scoring credits. That said, I have to commend the well written discussion short form. It shows the direction the reasoning paragraphs will be taking. Since the instruction does not include a comparison reference, you do not need to justify the opposing side. The examiner will base the C + C score of the essay on how well you defend your opinion using one or 2 reasons. The current explanation set up will be considered lacking in writer reasoning development. The opposing paragraph will not be considered in the scoring process. It will lower the C + C score. There are also punctuation lesage problems here. An apostrophe is not always needed when representing the plural form ofa word. Please familiarize yourself with punctuation usage rules overall to prevent future GRA deductions. Comma usage, run-on sentences (specially in the conclusion) , and other grammar problems also abound. This should be a major concern for you since this is a major scoring section in the test.

## TASK II QUESTION In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. why might people want to do this? is it a positive or negative development? Conducting research regarding their own family is more popular as this can attract hereditary diseases from family members. I strongly believe that this information could bring benefit younger keenly aware of their health, decreasing congenital disease. Research on the past of family members is for attracting hereditary diseases, so the research would have information about families member who might have a certain disease. That is to say, the researcher will be gathering all information concerning the medical history of family members from past to present whereas they would analyze the information. The information from historical research on family is useful for younger who have the congenital disease for helping them more aware of their illness, so they begin to change their habits to a healthy lifestyle, taking care of healthy food. If the research is compiled information with comprehensive, the young generation with the congenital disease has a wide opportunity to live longer. In conclusion, the young generation has more opportunities to avoid the risk of congenital disease because of information that researchers had been attracted by the research history of medical families. If possible, the research should be done regularly to prevent new one of illnesses.

Since this a task 2 essay , it should meet the 250 minimum word requirement. Writing only 198 words will result in an overall failing score since the lacking word count will result in applicable task score reduction. The writer appears to be currently unfamiliar with Task 2 writing requirements so he should familiarize himself with these first. Serious grammar issues related to word usage and sentence formation have resulted in a difficult to understand writing piece. I literally found it difficult to understand his written thoughts. He fails to write with any clear sense most of the time. He will definitely fail in the C + C section. This is seriously a non-passing essay presentation. I strongly urge him to enroll in ESL classes to fix this specific problem. I will reserve further comments and observations about his writing problems at this point. It is already obvious that he did not do a good job with this essay. I have pointed out his major problem points. I hope he can address these before he tries to write another essay of any sort in relation to the IELTS test.

***Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor.*** ## Do you think this is a positive or negative development? In recent years, it has become far more normal for people with health problems not to visit their normal doctor as much as use alternative medicines and treatments. In my opinion, this trend has brought both benefits and drawbacks. The trend toward using medicines or kinds of cure is gaining in the light of several factors, chief of which is convenience and speed of solving health issues. Patients can look for information about their health problems and treatments on the Internet without wasting time, money to hospitals or clinics. For instance, only by clicking and tapping on the electronic devices, numerous results about health issues will be displayed, people easily find and choose suitable remedies and treatments. Furthermore, this is likely to make people become more active in following and swiftly solving their health issues. Besides the aforementioned advantages, I do believe that the rising popularity of using alternative medicines and cures rather than visiting doctors also has negative things. When patients go to hospital or private clinics, they can receive good professional advice from their doctor. If people find out about treatments by themselves or use functional products, they will be able to face up to risk. By contrast, there is hardly any risk in doctor's prescriptions. The quality of human's health will drop when myriad people with health issues who don't have major knowledge use alternative medicines and treatments by themselves. In short, the increase of people who have health problems using alternative medicines and treatments instead of going to clinics is not totally positive or negative.

The writer was on point with his topic rewording. It was close to the ouginal even though the sentence structure is incorrect. Never combine 2 sets of information in one sentence. That is definitely a deduction point. Then, the writer did not provide a clear single opinion for the presentation. Since the option given for the discussion was "or", it is a single opinion indicator. He may only discuss both options in response to a comparative writing instruction such as "discuss both views". As the actual prompt question was not properly responded to, the writer will be given a score based upon an unclear opinion. Partial scores will then be provided throughout because of the incorrect response format. A situation that will prevent the essay from possibly receiving a passing score. This is because the writer has shown evidence of poor English comprehension skills based upon the way he misunderstood and wrongly responded to the prompt question. These are worrisome reasons that require immediate attention. While his discussions are acceptable, there were not applicable to the discussion format. Familiarization with Task 2 writing prompts in necessary.

***Scientific research should be carried out by the governments rather than private companies*** ## agree or disagree? Some people enunciate the idea that government should be supervised and handled by the authority rather than private companies. I concur with this opinion because the government can have profound positive impacts on the development of the project. On the other hand, the government makes the research project more stable and more controlled. For example, the government can cooperate with different countries to expand the plan. For instance, to find the radical solution of safety protection for experimental characters. Both countries will help each other to resolve the issues. A private company can't take care of them. Secondly, only the government can have the power to spend enormous financial assistance on various scientific projects and compensate pf damage. Another option could be that the goal of the government in conducting research is the benefits the people If the scientific project back by private enterprise. It just cares about the marketing strategies. It will do illegal research for their purpose. In conclusion, I agree with the idea of putting the scientific research carried out by the government so that success, accuracy, and applicability can be secured.

A task 2 essay assesses the everyday English vocabulary of the test taker. While having a wide vocabulary is good for the LR score, the use of advanced, profession specific vocabulary tends to lower the LR score so using enunciate and concur did not help the essay score. It does not feel natural to read these words in an everyday conversational essay. Ordinary word usage would have scored better. Never atsome that this is a vocabulary knowledge test because it is not. Other than that, the restatement and opinion presentation works well. The response format is correct. The use of On the other hand is only applicable when writing comparative essays. That is because the paired phrases (On the one hand) go hand in hand in individual paragraph development. It cannot be properly used in a single opinion essay. Regardless, the reasoning paragraphs are properly targeted and presented. can't Always spell out the whole word to avoid GRA scoredowns due to the use of contractions. An academically unacceptable writing practice. the conclusion would have worked better if it had followed the 2 sentence, 40 word format instead of this run-on sentence. It just doesn't allow for proper sentence style mixing for GRA benefits.

## the transformation of shopping ***In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.*** In recent days, shopping is not considered as a responsibility anymore. Otherwise, it has increasingly become a leisure activity that people are really into. I do believe that this transformation has its pros and cons as two sides of a coin. There are many compelling reasons why shopping became ubiquitous pastime for people in all ages. Initially, this activity can cheer people up. It is undeniable that purchasing something new makes we feel blissful and fulfill. For example, spending money on shopping does wonders for our mood whenever we are down. Moreover, shopping time is quality time for family to gather every weekends. In fact, many people have to work from dusk till dawn to bring home bacon, resulting less together time with beloved ones. We can witness that there are numerous family or couples spend their weekends shopping around in shopping malls. On the other hand, shopping adversely affects people who are obsessed with shopping all over the world. It is true that shopping will be a positive habit if we can take its advantages. Nevertheless, it may cause us get into huge debt because of spending recklessly for inessentials. Another negative results of this tendency is the effect it has on youngsters, who spend time on shopping centers with their friends instead of in school or library, for instance. Shopping is a time as well as money consuming, so it will be better for them to try healthier habits such as learning a sport or travelling. In conclusion, while the potential advantages of shopping make it seem like a good idea, I suppose that this hobby does not completely benefit for consumers. We should mull over before purchasing things to avoid financially and mentally draining.

The essay will immediately receive a failing preliminary score. The writer has not followed the writing instruction as provided. He actually changed the writing instruction from the orginal single opinion essay to a comparative discussion instruction. While the writer did provide an opinion, it is not the correct or expected opinion presentation. Therefore, the writer has not fulfilled the major TA requirements. Receiving a non-passing score so early in the assessment process will definitely be a huge stumbling block to this essay receiving a passing score in the end. Also unhelpful to the overall incorrect discussion format is the incorrect concluding summary as well. The writer presented an uncertain opinion that does not relate at all to the original discussion. This created an additional unacceptable and incorrect discussion conclusion. I am afraid this essay will definitely get a failing score. In order to avoid future problems with response writing, the writer should learn the difference between the single opinion and comparative discussion prompts. That should be easy to identify using the following reminders: Single Opinion: - Do you agree or disagree - To what extent ... - Give your opinion and provide examples Comparison: - Discuss the advantage or disadvantage - What are the pros and cons - Discuss both views and give your opinion These are the more commonly used writing instructions that can help the writer tell the difference in response styles.

## percentage of deaths by gender due to the covid-19 disease The bar chart visualizes Covid-19 diseases attack both sexes, and the majority of people dying because of it are men rather than women in several countries. Overall, men in Italy and Denmark are far higher dying than women due to Covid-19 diseases, while Danish women are the least ones dying compared to other countries in Europe and Asia. Initially, albeit just under a half of men in France experience death, Italian and Danish men remain the highest dying among other countries because of Covid-19 infection, accounting for 71%. While women in France dying have nearly the same huge percentage as the Iranian women, taking up well under fifty. Moreover, both men and women citizens in China have dying cases with similar trend data to Portugal at 64% and 36% respectively. Meanwhile, the rate of women in Italy and Denmark have the same dying cases at around 29%. This is also happening to women in Spain and Germany where they get Covid-19 symptoms until they die with approximately 35% *

While the word count was properly met in the presentation, the correct page formatting was not applied so formatting dedu,ctions will need to be reflected in the score. Sentence structuring is also off based on incorrect grammar, punctuation and confusing thought presentations. GRA deductions could very well result in an overall failing score for the essay at this point. Incomplete explanations and paragraph writing will have even higher Negative scoring effects. A paragraph is partially completed with 3 sentences. It is fully developed with 5 sentences. The writer has done his best to provide a proper analysis of the information. He has the ability to pick-out pertinent information for presentation. Based on this ability, he just needs to further develop his written discussion skills. He must strive to write 300 words to achieve his target band score or, get close to it. I look forward to guiding his progress over the coming days.

## Guitar Makes a Comeback to Pop Music The guitar is making a comeback to popular music. As of recent, there have been many people learning guitar. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, people have picked up the guitar as a new hobby. And some are also starting to write songs. As of late, many songs in the charts today have a lot more guitar use in songs than ever in years. Genres in the past, such as rock and country, have a significant amount of guitar playing, but pop music has recently lacked guitars. However, more and more guitars have been used in many hit songs in the past couple of years. In the decades, the age of mainstream pop music dropped into two categories: guitar, sound, and bass groups or singers supported by the conventional orchestra. Since early in this period, it was common for pop producers, songwriters, and engineers to freely experiment with rhythmic structure, instrumentation, artificial reverb, and different sound effects. Some best-known instances are Phil Spector's wall of sound and Joe Meek's usage of homemade electronic results in performances like The Tornados. Simultaneously, pop music on the radio in American and British cinema went from sophisticated metal to more unconventional songwriting and integrated reverb-drenched rock guitar, symphonic strings, and trumpets played by groups of decently ordered and rehearsed working musicians. Sound has been around for some years, and it's not going out soon. You get sounds from The Beatles and The Who, and even their music is still equally warm today as it was back when it was first released. Still, there have also been some rappers and artists that get taken as "cheesy pop" today. Cheesy sound isn't as terrible as it sounds though it puts a lot into doubt when establishing sound as a challenging and excellent music style. Some popular music is reasonable and provides a lot, but worse. Some artists hit this mark in the music industry and made it the standout and standard field of music. Nevertheless, some artists have butchered this pop culture and haven't gotten the best of their talents. It occurs, but this doesn't wish to have pop music isn't great music because it is. Remember, sound's been about for decades, and it's growing stronger by this time. Therefore, there exist so many who see sound as the stable house of the music business. Three categories that I think can help my essay are attention to detail, coherency, and avoid repetition. Attention to detail helps to get my point across because I know that there are some details I am missing throughout the draft. But with some time, that can help immensely. Coherency because I know sometimes, I can write multiple lines and it would still be one sentence. I would say I should try to separate sentences or make smaller sentences instead of making one gargantuan sentence that wouldn't make sense in the end. And avoiding repetition would help a lot because I know that I repeat a lot of information, so avoiding it as much as I could help enormously.

The essay would also benefit from more popular song mentions in relation to guitar use a rhythm basis. You are assuming too much that the person reading this paper will have a music background. That may notalways be the case. Always consider the non-musician point of view who may need some hand holding or simpler explanations to understand the article. Try to use more recent popular composer references and song titles. That way the reader can pretty much hear what you are talking about in his head, leading to an easier understanding of your writing purpose. You already mentioned the technical aspects of writing you need to address so I do not need to repeat those mentions. What I can add, is that you need to better reference your source material in the sections were taken from other sources. The paper badly needs in-text citations and referencing based on the required writing style.

This is my practice for the IELTS Writing Task 2 ***Nowadays, many university students choose to study overseas for part or all of their courses. Some people say this should be encouraged because it is beneficial for students and the universities they attend. ## Do you agree or disagree with this view?*** Answer: It is common for university students who desire different learning experiences to study abroad, and the advantages it brought are highly valued by some. I completely agree with the opinion that overseas education should be promoted from the perspectives of students and universities. Students who study abroad for a semester or a few years can be benefited in several different ways. For those who spend a semester abroad, they can have access to academic resources that couldn't be obtained at their home university. For example, architecture students who are interested in flood risk adaptation may join a laboratory or take courses at a university in the Netherlands, where the most innovative technologies and research related to this topic come from. Furthermore, studying at a foreign university means meeting classmates from diverse cultural backgrounds. Students could enhance their ability of cross-cultural communication by exchanging opinions and discussing in class. Lastly, if students are dedicated to obtaining a foreign degree by spending 4 years in another country, for instance, they will not only grow intellectually. They may leave their comfort zone and learn how to settle down in a totally new environment, and therefore gain experience in tackling numerous obstacles in life independently. When universities are welcoming students from a variety of countries, they can also take advantage in two aspects. Firstly, it is crucial for the university to pursue cultural diversity nowadays in the context of globalization. Receiving foreign students could lead to a more international academic environment that fosters new ideas, while local students mingle with people and knowledge from all over the world. Secondly, universities can improve the quality of students by accommodating talented students from other countries. If there are more motivated and intelligent foreign students, it thus becomes a valuable chance for the university to advertise itself on the global education stage. In conclusion, it is certain that an international academic environment benefits both the students and schools for learning and generating knowledge if overseas education is encouraged.

Do not alter the orginal discussion foundation by presenting your opinion in the first paragraph that will make it fail the prompt restatement requirements. The paragraph is expected to state the given discussion points using as close a synonym as possible to represent the original idea. You did not actually do that in the first half of the paragraph. By immediately discussing your opinion, the examiner will have to partially lower the score for that section. Something that will not be good when the sectional scores are added up. The writer's opinion will also get a lower score because of the incorrect presentation format. There are times when an emotional and measured response in needed, as in the case of an extent question. This is just a simple discussion format so the examiner will not appreciate the exaggerated response. Follow the instructions without alterations. Any changes you make, no matter how simple means lower scores for you. You did a good job in the discussion part though. Strong reasons were convincingly explained and defended. The writing was well connected in the paragraphs. In fact, the explanations came across as too long for the ceriling requirements. If the examiner overlooks that, then you did a good job in the explanatory portion. That said, the essay is over written. 333 words may not be completed within 40 minutes. Based on your writing sample, I know you can write a better version. One even more developed within 275-300 words which normally result in a higher overall test score.

## the ages of the populations of oman and spain The given circle charts give information about population age ratios in 2005 and predictions for 2055 in two different countries namely Oman and Spain. Overall, the initial impression is that both surveyed countries recorded the top proportion of the aging population in 2005, and a similar pattern is projected for the future in 2055. Moreover, while the rate of people who belong to the working age bracket predicted tends to upswing the opposite was true for children under working age. In 2005, Oman witnessed parity in the percentage of people of retirement age and children under working age at 48%. Meanwhile, owning the last place is the rate of Omanis of working age with only 4%. At the same time, the proportion of those who were in their 60s or older also took up the overwhelming majority of Spain's population. This nation's children under minors and those aged 15 to 59 accounted for the lower share of 14% and just under the quarter respectively. Predictive data accurately half a century later revealed a downswing trend in the under-14s and a growth in the working-age population. More specifically, the decline in the underage group in Oman is more than one in ten, the figure for Spain is much smaller, just 2%.In opposition, the share of the age bracket between 15 and 59 in both countries tends to rise with a slight increase of 2% in Oman and a dramatic growth at nearly one-fifth in Spain. Concurrently, the rate of older in Oman is predicted to increase by just under a tenth to 57% during the figure rapidly decreases by about one-sixth in Spain. However, that is still the largest proportion compared to the other two age bracket. * *topic* * *pie chart*

Kindly use accurate terminology when describing the provided image. While circle charts are an acceptable alternative descriptor, it is not a proper academic reference. While it is often advised that synonyms be used, restating the original image reference will be better accepted and scored. It is also imperative that long sentences containing 2 subject ideas be avoided. Run on sentences such as the first one in this presentation will result in reduced GRA scores. More information such as the measurement type is also needed in the summary overview paragraph. Word count is also a problem in this essay. 293 words can only be written using a 40 minute time allowance. Since this task only has a 20 minute allotment, it will be best to write only 175-200 words. Remember not to use the essay as a vocabulary exercise because that is how these essays fail. Incorrect word usage and overly long sentences will produce more scoring errors. That is exactly the reason why this essay would get a failing score had this been a real test. The advanced vocabulary used does not match the actual vocabulary level or range of the writer. The essay is confusing to read due to the word usage mistakes. Failing scores will be given in all scoring considerations. From the TA to the GRA presentation, the writer did not do a good job. Consider at least reading task essay examples at this forum to get a better idea as to how to write task 1 essays. That way you improve your writing abilities and learn from the mistakes made by other exam takers who participated in this forum.

## **The graph below shows the percentage of population in cities since 1970s with projection to 2030.** The given line chart compares the proportion of people living in cities in 4 countries, namely USA, Korea, China and India, from 1970 to the prediction in 2030. Overall, the city population in all nations was on an increase and continuously was predicted to grow up till the end of the period. It also can be seen that the USA and Korea had a greater percentage of city residents compared to China and India. In 1970, the figure for cities population rate in the USA and Korea was 70% and 40% respectively, which was much higher than that of China and India with the same rate at 20%. After 20 years, the USA, Korea and India saw an increase in the percentage of people who live in cities to over 80%, over 70% and 30% respectively, while China still remained at 20%. In the rest of this period, the percentage of Koreans living in cities dramatically rose to nearly 90% in 2020 and was predicted to be the same as that of Americans in 2030. The cities population ratio in China also experienced a significant increase to nearly 70% in 2030, while that in India just slightly rose and was a half of China at nearly 40%.

A clear summary overview will depend upon the number of sentences used to enumerate the graph information. That means the use of individual sentences to indicate each bit of information will score much better in terms of C+C and GRA than a single sentence composed of 3 information presentations. Rather than scoring up, it will result in a score down due to run-on sentence structuring and lack of clear idea presentation. Incorrect tense usage will also prove to be a score reducing factor in the GRA and C+C section since the end depiction for the trending presentation depends on a future rather than past projection. The final measurement basis is in 2030. It should use a future year prediction format. The consistent use of run - on sentences, 2 sentences per paragraph, and limited use of punctuation marks will further reduce the scores in each related section. A proper paragraph has 3-5 sentences present within it. While the writer did his best to compare the information, this was not done to the extent that actual analytical comparisons were done. He only repeated information as seen without analysis. I am afraid this is a poorly developed essay that might not receive a passing score.

## not healthy today's lifestyle compared to the past The circumstances during the previous century were relatively more healthful than at present, I have to concur. The rapid technological advancements, urbanization and digitalization have negatively impacted the average person's physical and psychological health. In the following essay I aim to substantiate the phenomenon by incorporating the current affairs into the arguments with the help of several examples revolving around today's status quo in comparison with the past. Paradoxically, higher living standards, access to efficient services or appliances have led to an increase in rates of illness. For starters, there used to be far more residents in the countryside ,where there were salubrious places with fresh air, conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Today the majority has moved out to urban areas in search of more economic opportunities and high-paying jobs. As rational as it may seem, the mass relocation to the cities have plenty of drawbacks: more dwellings have been built to satisfy the need for accommodation, and on top of that, metropolises are notorious for noisy traffic, polluted air, and unhealthy lifestyle; In consequence of modern conditions having greatly reduced the number of inhabitants in rural regions, cities are in turn burdened with the effects: overpopulation which has resulted in high demand for excessive construction of buildings, requiring different measures of government expenditure, such as deforestation, which causes loss of vegetation and lowers the environmental quality. More and more citizens spread bacteria Then, the emergence of electronic equipment has brought about improvement in automobile parts, manufacturing industries have created commodities that have definitely not been ecological, whereas in the past, cars were not in constant use and in such large circulation. In addition, if we take a look at documentaries, speeches and performances recorded back then, we can see how much fitter the general audience-our ancestors used to be. Because of said industries above, a rather unfortunate shift, namely in the food technologies has occurred. Before now stores mainly provided wholesome produce or homemade pastry, but companies and large-scale businesses have come out to the forefront and the production of natural food of high nutritional value has been pushed in the back corner. Citizens are tempted easily because of fast-paced life, by product placements in commercials and massive sale of them in the streets to allow themselves to gorge on junk food without care about what it does to their body, which again exacerbates the situation. Lastly, I wish to touch upon how the current century has made our lives unhealthier in other aspects of life: internet has been deleterious to optical health and has made our lives sedentary and adynamic: if before children played outside, they have got video games for which no physical activity is necessary; relationships have switched to digital as well, which is psychologically harmful. Thus, the striking contrast between society's life before and now in terms of clean, sanitary conditions and healthful dietary habits of the average human of today's erais manifest in a vast number of perspectives, including moving to the cities where the air is polluted, constructing more buildings which hinders plant growth and is a corollary to viruses being spread, eating junk food, etc.

Based on the extensive writing done in this essay, I can only assume that the writer is doing self- study for this test. That is the only acceptable explanation as to why be would over-write, over-analyze, and lack in proper response formatting in consideration of the provided prompt. While the writer maybe a typist who can complete over 500 words in 40 minutes, the purpose of this test is to prove the ability to discuss a given debate topic as if he were writing a time limited exam in class. The essay must be concise and more properly focused on a quick explanation of 5 sentences within a paragraph. While there is no maximum word count, 250-300 words has been found to bethe most highly scored word count overall. The writer did not provide a proper emotional or measured response to the question. Rather than providing the expected 3 sentence response, he immediately began the discussion. Such a deviation results in an automatic failing score. The 3 sentence requirement should indicate: 1. A simple sentence topic restatement. 2. A brief measured response. 3. The summarized reasoning topics/ thesis statement. The vocabulary used tends to be advanced in usage, but not easily understandable in everyday use. The vocabulary need not be too advanced as such words do not normally suit the discussion or are aused outof content with regards to word meaning or sentence/ paragraph meaning. So rather than helping the score, it proves to be unhelpful instead. That can be avoided if the writer focuses on conciseness rather than only a high sectional score. These are but the tip of the problem with the writing presentation. I highly suggest the student reviews the related task essays before proceeding to create more practice essays. The lessons and observations provided in those essays will be most helpful to him as a beginner.

***Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the last of a particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your opinion. This is my essay: It is believed by some that the primary environmental issue faced by humans is the last of specific species of plants and animals, while others believe that there are graver environmental issues. While the disappearance of certain species can result in a rise in certain illnesses, there are more crucial environmental issues faced by humans, such as air pollution. On the one hand, the disappearance of some species can lead to widespread diseases caused by some animals. This is because those species feed upon certain animals and plants that are dangerous to people. Their disappearance will exponentially increase the population of these animals and the diseases they transmit. For example, in Italy, they conducted an experiment in which they got rid of cats in one of their cities. This led to an overpopulation of rats throughout that city and led to a spike in rat-borne illnesses. However, I disagree that this is the biggest environmental threat because there are technological remedies that can address this issue. On the other hand, it is thought that air pollution is the gravest issue that humans have to deal with. This is because there has been a significant increase in activities that contribute negatively to the environment in recent times. There are several factories setup in every country that release toxic gases into the atmosphere, which makes the air harmful for us to breathe and can result in several health complications, such as lung and heart diseases. For example, the NHS reports admitting several patients each year for preventable lung conditions who live closer to such factories. Therefore, I agree with this view because it is detrimental to one's health. In conclusion, even though the extinction of some species can result in an increase in certain diseases, the pollution of the air is more crucial and should be dealt with at the earliest. Thank you in advance for the comments!

I found at least 2 severe word usage problems that would lead to a failing LR score. You incorrectly used the words "last" and "graver" throughout the essay. Last refers to a type of finality while graver is an engraving tool. The essay topic is about the "loss" of a species. As for your opinion, I believe you meant to use the reference "greater" indicating more important problems. Such word usage errors when the writer knows the meaning of a word, but not the spelling. In these cases, referring to a dictionary would be best. The problem is that a dictionary will not be available during the actual test so improving your vocabulary pre-test is of the utmost importance. Another first paragraph problem is that the writer has not properly formatted the opinion sentence. It should clearly indicate that the last sentence use an opinion and discussion basis formulated by the writer. Proper pronoun usage is needed throughout. Proper first, second, and third pronoun usage helps indicate the correct comparative discussion format in the paragraphs. Pronoun referencing results in a better GRA score since it shows knowledge of correct grammar usage on the ESL part. Right know there are no differentiation pronouns used so the essay is single rather than multiple view reflective, which does not meet the discussion instruction. Each reasoning paragraph could also be scored as needing more development since the personal opinion only states an opumon without a complete explanation why it is such. Those need to be at least 2 sentences long to achieve that. There are actually more problems with this essay but this observation post will run too long. Focus on these basic problems first and show improvement with your next essay. We can address more improvement points then.

I spent 40 minutes completing the below essay. Hopefully to receive some feedback from all of you. Thank you so much. ***Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. ## Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.*** Some people would agree that we should experience various cultures. There is a different opinion, however, whether people should be a creature of habit. In this essay, I will examine both views and state my own opinion. A group of people spends their interest on experiencing new things, such as locations or foods. Indeed, it is believed to stimulate their curiosity and equip them an open mind. Not only enjoy the journeys, but they also acquire diversified thoughts from the various cultures. For instance, the Feng Shui used to be a strange concept in the Western. Nevertheless, thanks to the cultural exchange activities, they learn how to apply it into the daily life, such as house decoration or fashioning. On the other hand, some people only would like to be under their daily routines. The unfamiliar activities will stress them and prevent from being downshifting. Indeed, they always feel connecting with their living area and enjoying the current values. It seems to be a common concept for most Eastern wives. Their paramount priority is families, thus they usually keep their attention on taking care of the children and fertilizing husband career. As a consequence, it is hard for them to spend time on experiences outsides their families. To sum up, both of these opposite sides of the debate seem to have valid reasons for their argument. It appears that try new things yet maintain a daily routine. Personally, I believe that any decision regarding this matter should be made with consideration of the ideas from both sides.

Good work on the restatement using 2 topic sentences. These were very clear reinterpretations that showed accurate English comprehension abilities. The examiner would have expected you to have delivered a clear personal opinion though. Just to help him provide you with a related TA score. He cannot provide a score for that aspect when all you did was repeat the discussion instruction. That fails to deliver a clear preliminary writer's opinion when it mattered to the starting score. Unfortunately, the solid discussion paragraphs fall short of being fully developed because you did not offer your opinion for each statement. For a high cohesive paragraph score you should not only present public reasons to A support the topic idea, you should also explain why you support or do not support the public perception. Additionally, there is a weakness in the examples being used. While you did discuss the culture aspect, you neglected to offer an insight into the food portion as implied by the prompt. So that could be seen as another reason the paragraph lacks development or, does not offer a completely comprehensive discussion based on the prompt requirements/discussion topic suggestions. Your personal opinion should never be presented as a part of the concluding paragraph. Doing so could result in an automatic failing score because there is no correct summarized conclusion presented. The last paragraph should just wap up the discussion ley repeating the salient points. The personal opinion is presented in only one of 2 ways for this writing instruction. 1. Folded into the public opinion explanation 2. Aa a stand alone paragraph The word count is just the right number of words for a beginner. You should steadily progress to 300 words maximum within 40 minutes over time. You clearly have the potential to gain a higher than average score with the proper guidance.

***The table below shows the total number of branches of banks and financial institutions in Nepal in 2019. The graph shows the ten districts in Nepal having the highest number of bank branches in 2019.*** ## Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. While the table states the total amount of branches of banks and financial institutions in Nepal in 2019, the given graph illustrates the ten districts in Nepal with the highly significant number of bank branches in 2019. This essay will analyze the significant points of the statistics. Generally, in 2019, the majority of branches of banks and financial institutions belong to commercial banks and microfinance institutions. Besides, Kathmandu is seemly the financial center district of Nepal with the highest number of bank branches. In the mentioned table, the commercial banks and microfinance institutions have the highest numbers of branches representatively at 3585 and 3629. The share of both the two institutions dominated the table with 41,27% belonging to the commercial banks and 41,77% belonging to the microfinance banks. On the other hand, the smallest number of branches of banks and financial institutions is 205 belonging to finance companies. Turning to the graph below, it is not difficult to see that the district having the highest number of bank branches is Kathmandu with nearly 800 branches. The district had the lowest number of bank branches is Dang with approximately 150 branches. *

I must point out an evident error that has appeared twice now in your task 1 writing presentations. You seem to be under the impression that the best way to score highly in this exam part is by combining the task 1 and 2 writing styles. Since the tasks have different objectives and different scoring considerations, the mixed writing style will not increase the score. Rather, deductions will be applied to writing and discussion format sections as it relates to the task objective. Do not use the restatement + writer's opinion/ repetition of writing information in the summary overview. That is a task 2 writing practice, it does notrelate to task 1 requirements. In fact, you must learn to write in a proper task 1 format. Using a combined task writing presentation is not helpful to a score that could be lowered due to a confusing presentation style. Try to do a better job at analysing the provided image. Do not skip the information source mention. Thatis an important part of the summary presentation. On the other hand, Where is the one hand comparison that should come before this? Present uniform paragraphs of 3-5 sentences in length. 2 sentences will mean the paragraph in not fully developed, analyzed, and formatted. These will not be considered full paragraphs. A number of these paragraphs will receive reduced preliminary scores because of the lack of proper information dissemination in the paragraphs. Sometimes, thia problem can be solved using proper wording to introduce interlinked information through the use of proper transition sentences, phrases, or linking / transition words. This is an obvious weak point for you in both writing tasks that I have reviewed so far.

***Parents with good careers now spend less time with their kids.*** ## Is it a positive or negative development? There is a growing tendency that people who have gained some valued achievement prefer spending their time on occupation rather than on their children. Since that status may worsen the kids' well-being yet strengthen their dependence at the same time, this essay illustrates an impartial stance toward the problem. On the one hand, parents with an optimal working situation ignoring their children result in the children's health impairment. As for a person at a young age, children usually find it difficult to be aware of their own health and to recognise the problem, even the smallest such as fever. Those little kids need adults, specifically their parents, to help them be conscious of their mental and physical condition. Since parents are older people who have experienced most of those things, they would easily understand what is happening to the kids and how to handle the issue. Without parents' care due to work attraction, children cannot be monitored on a daily basis and hence untreated illness. As a matter of fact, their health deteriorates over time. On the other hand, not receiving care from parents gradually nurtures in children a great dependence. Being brought up with a light protection, kids tend to realize the circumstance and know which ways to adapt to such a life. Whenever they wonder about something, they have to question other people about it or search for the answers on the internet, instead of asking their parents as they do not have time for a conversation. This means they are passing the process of self-doing, which enhances the fundamental ability to solve other problems in life. In conclusion, the chief downside of kids having loose bonds with their parents is their abysmal health change, whereas the major upside is the self-developed dependence.

The writer has incorrectly referred to parents as ordinary people in his restatement. Such an error changes the subject basis of the topic. As an incorrect synonym presentation, it will tend to negatively affect his LR score. The reason being that the word does not correctly represent the original and carries a different meaning. While the writer's opinion basis is well stated, the lack of direct response reference is going to reduce the openon clarity score. The response Skeyword must be present since it will make the opinion clear rather than implied to the examiner. The lack of direct reference will be another deduction. It is important that the writer understands why his discussion approach is incorrect. This is a single - defense since a decision regarding reasoning support must be made given the 2 choices. Failure to present a proper 2 reasoning defense will result in a reduced score due to an underdeveloped discussion. Scores will only be provided for the writer opinion supporting paragraph. The opposing paragraph will not be scored and reduce the word count of the essay to below minimum,which will be another set of score reductions. As such the writer might receive a base passing score or less owing to other grammatical issues in this essay as well.

***People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? *Essay* It is a common belief that the best way to succeed is to focus on just one life ability. However, I am convinced that concentrating on a single skill is not the best way to reach our goal; on the contrary, that way is even more uncertain and contains high risks. To begin with, knowing just one life skill makes our jobs unstable and the future career path more risky. This is because when you concentrate on one skill, you have fewer options for employment. Furthermore, nothing can guarantee that your current jobs will not be replaced by ones that exist tomorrow in an ever-changing world. For example, during the first wave of the COVID pandemic in Vietnam, hundreds of airport employees were forced to find alternate employment in order to make ends meet. Not only that, but many foreign language teachers faced the same problem: they had no income from offline classes for several weeks, and the reason is that the only job they know how to do is teach foreign languages. On top of that, while concentrating on a single skill is undeniably one of the best strategies to achieve in life, it is not the only effective way. Many well-known CEOs and celebrities worked in a variety of occupations to gain practical experience with the market and large systems.Therefore, they must cultivate knowledge and acquire necessary skills from numerous sources before becoming successful in their fields. For instance, Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, is one of the most famous and influential people in the world. Before establishing a resounding Amazon, he gained many different skills from various jobs, such as programming techniques, management skills, and economics skills. To sum up, focusing on one ability brings more risk and uncertainty into our lives, and it is also not the only good strategy to reach the goal. For these reasons, knowing more skills provides us with more opportunities to succeed.

The writer used a good alternative restatement. Though word usage was a bit faulty, the original discussion concept remained clear to the reader. The problem is that the direct writer's opinion was not provided. In the writeis excitement to respond, he went directly to the discussion thesis instead. He should always remember to answer the question first then state what his answer is based on. All things considered in this paragraph, he did not completely develop the paragraph but it was still a good effort on his part. It is good but not good enough. His score was saved by his highly coherent discussion paragraphs. He succesfully met the passing requirements for the 2 paragraph presentation by using cohesive discussion points and coherent thought presentations. Good job! The summary conclusion was too short though. He should have used the reverse paraphrase format there. Restate the problem, opinion, and 2 reasons before presenting a closing statement. This should be completed in 3-4 sentences or 40 words, whichever is developed first.

***Raising household electricity fees is the most effective solution to the problem associated with power generation and environmental pollution. ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective in reducing the environmental pollution caused by power generation*** While some people might argue that increasing the cost of household usage is the vitality of addressing the issue regarding power resources and environmental pollution, I firmly disagree and believe that it's urbanization and industrialization which are the main causes and there are some potential measures to tackle these problems as below. Though it's undisputed that irresponsible power consumerism for individual purposes brings about a significant contribution to energy waste and environmental changes, I strongly believe that the median of electricity billing plays a minor factor in comparison with business and exploration activities. For this reason, raising residential energy utilities would be no avail to accommodate the issue. Instead, stricter regulations should be applied to organizations that are in conjunction with burning fossil fuels and depleting toxic emissions. To elucidate, the environmental issue is complex and it's pleading combinations of many ultimate actions to conserve it. It's undoubtedly that the robust reliance of humans on nuclear power is the major driver of climate change. That is the reason why policymakers should apply extra costs to the activities of corporations associated with emitting greenhouse gas and chemical compounds. These substances in the environment will pollute the soil and water seriously and jeopardize the ecology as well as the species living up on it. Additionally, utilizing new types of energy which are more sustainable, such as wind/solar resources, geothermal power, and tidal energy, is highly necessary to reduce pressure on the planet due to burning fossil fuel. Government subsidies should be vitally focused on developing new technology and exploiting new resources as well. In conclusion, human activities are responsible for environmental changes due to their power needs. Increasing fees on personal electricity usage is not an effective way to tackle the problem ultimately. Instead, sturdy legislation on business and the development of new resources would make a substantial change to the environment.

While some people might argue Incorrect statement. It is not implied but rather stated as a fact in the original prompt. Try to restate all the information in a more accurate manner next time. The prompt restatement ended up being quite complicated in vocabulary usage, but lacking in clarity. Improper sentence structure in relation to word usage caused this situation. It will definitely reduce the preliminary TA, C + C, and GRA scores. and believe that ... are the main causes This is a throwaway statement and will not be scored. As a prompt deviation, it offers a discussion topic not referenced in the original. As such, this statement will further reduce the final TA score. there are some potential measures This is one of the most important discussion topic responses that should have been represented by proper and clear solution suggestion topics. The restatement and writer's opinion paragraph will receive a failing score. The main problem with this presentation is that the writer is relying on length and word usage to pass the test. Rather than writing a direct and qquick response as required, he decided to throw the whole dictionary into the essay regardless of word meaning, proper word usage in the sentence, and discussion clarity requirements. These are the reasons the essay will not pass the test. It is just too confusing for a native English speaker to read.

## Advantages of reading books Reading books does bring us a lot of advantages, which there are three important ones as follows. First of all, reading books helps us widen our knowledge. We can get information about culture, traditions, history, geography, arts, psychology, and several other life subjects from books. The more books we read, the more knowledge we have obtained. In the second place, reading books helps us improve our expressing abilities such as writing and speaking. For example, when we read foreign literature, we will not only know more about that country but also have a chance to improve our reading skills, and learn new words which can be read to better our essay. . Additionally, people who read a lot of books usually have a large vocabulary source and speak more attractively. Last but not least, reading books is undoubtedly a way of relaxing after a day hard of work. It stimulates your brain muscles and keeps your brain healthy; it has some positive effects on your mind and soul. In summary, reading books is importantly beneficial because it not only helps us become wiser but also brings us happiness. Thus, everyone should be encouraged to read books as much as possible!

A 200 word presentation does not meet any essay writing requirements. It most specially does not meet task 2 writing requirements when it comes to the expected 4 paragraph personal opinion discussion of the exam. This essay is faulty for several reasons based on word count, task requirements, and full reasoning development. Aside from being a listing of possible discussion ideas, the presentation does not really proceed to present valid reasoning considerations as necessary. The essay does well in the use of pronouns, however incorrect the usage in the presentation. Being a personal , and analyses essay, group pronouns such as we and us should instead be represented by first person pronouns like me, myself, and I. It is imperative that correct pronouns are used since the writer is not asked to represent an opinion beyond his own based on the discussion requirements. Acceptable reasons have been provided but underdeveloped. This lack of progressive discussion will result in a lower C + c score due to a lack of cohesive idea explanation points. These can be more completely presented in a paragraph format. Punctuation usage should not include an exclamation point when writing formal papers as this can be misconstrued as shouting in witten form. There is no need for over emphasis in this case.

***With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in the number of elderly people today and how can it be managed?*** ## Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. The breakthrough of the social medical system leads to a significant focus on the old. In my opinion, society would face difficulty with the increase in elderly people. The authority needs to have a radical remedy to tackle this problem. This essay also explains this phenomenon. It would be tough for society to gain attention to medical care for the old under the circumstances. The authority and the medical center's directors should manage the phenomenon well. They should make plans with the strategic city planner to foresee the quantity of the old. The authority will reallocate the human medical resources until getting the specific data. Besides, the young also take responsibility for the health care of their parents. By paying attention to the old's health, the young will contribute to reducing the burden of the public health care system. There are some reasons for the difficulties including the extent of human, facilities, and finance. About the human aspect, with the improvement of health care, the human resources for medical would be minimized in spite of the more attention on the elderly. Regarding the facility, the local medical services would not be available for the old. Finance is the last impact related to the difficulty for geriatrics. For example, during the epidemic of Covid 19, vaccines will be preferred for the young. The health condition of the old includes many based diseases, which delay the impact of the treatment process. The old also need more nursery and medical staff to take care of than the young. Under the global disaster, fertility and financial resources also are scared, which makes the old underprivileged. In a conclusion, with the improvement of the medical system, society pays more attention to the elderly however that activity would be a burden. Both authorities and the young take responsibility for taking care of the old's health condition. Besides, the reasons for the difficulty is dependent on human, fertility, and finance.

There is a difference between caring for the elderly and focusing on the elderly. The former refers to the medical needs of the aged, as referred to in the original. The latter only implies an interest in the elderly, without a specific medical reference to the subject. The prompt restatement is therefore incorrect. With regards to the writer's opinion, the exam taker should understand that although a clear opinion was presented, the rest of the response does not establish a correct discussion basis as indicated. Which authority should be responsible for this? What specific actions must be taken ? Establish the facts in the summary then expand it in the reasoning paragraphs. The last sentence in the presentation is a topic deviation that unnecessarily changed the orginal presentation. The lack of proper development in this paragraph will not be good for the preliminary discussion score. Do not over discuss the topic. The 1st reasoning paragraph dealt with the relevant question in a cohesive manner witha proper example worked into the paragraph, well meeting the C + C requirements. The second question should have been presented in a similar manner. There was no need to present a stand alone example.

**topic :** **The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.** ## fISH, LAMB, BEEF AND CHICKEN CONSUMPTION The line graph give information about the consumption of fish and 3 kinds of meat ( beef , lamb ,chicken ) in a European country from 1979 to 2004. Overall , at the start of period beef had a most consumption, which was replaced by chicken from around 1984 to 2004 . Fish had lowest consumption and remained no change With regards to the amount of beef use , it began around 230 in 1979 , decreased to 180 in the middle of 1979 and 1984 , and suprisingly reached a peak at 230. After 1984 , the use of beef decreased to around 120 in the final. in contrast to chicken , it began around 145 and then increased fast , it was around 240 in 2004. Lamb started at 150 and then peaked at 130 in 1989 .Since that year it decreased and in 2004 it was around 80. Fish was not popular used in Europen country , during 25-year period started from 1979 , fish did not changed much , it was around 50. *

The writer has witten the summary overview from the incorrect timeframe. He must use the past tense reference since all of the data was collated from previously dated information. When he did use a past reference term, it was done in the incorrect sentence format so it added to the GRA deductions of this presentation. His trending statement does not use the correct reference format either. A proper trending paragraph will make vague measurement references that represent a consistent measure, without too much data references such as year information. What he should have done is indicate the measurement type for additional data clarity. He forgot to mention that which led to a slight confusion regarding weight type.

## Computer Programmes for Teaching Purposes Topic: **Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.** *Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.* \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Answer: In a world where technological advance constantly takes place, utilising computer programmes in classrooms for educational purposes is becoming a trend in the majority of schools these days. However, it is sometimes argued that this change is possibly affecting the students in a negative way. In this essay, I will be discussing both of these views, followed by my own opinion regarding this problem. Firstly, computers can be a great help in classrooms in order to increase teaching efficiency. With a vast number of interactive programmes, teaching materials that teachers can choose from, this can directly build growth of students' interest in the subject, as they can participate in the process of learning themselves. Consequently, the interest in the subject is slowly built in each learner, helping them to reach the aim faster and in a more active way. Moreover, computers are becoming the cutting-edge device, used widely in various activities in our lives. Therefore, it is indispensable to learn how to function it properly, considering the difficulties it can bring if a student does not know how to do so. However, those convenience can become great dangers if each student are not aware of what they are facing online. For instance, false information, threats and scams on websites, cyberbullying, especially for teenagers, are only a small part of the adverse elements can be found when browsing the Internet and can contribute to damage a student's health mentally and physically. In order to prevent this from happening, it is essential to create school curriculums which provide students the basic points of Internet safety. Limitations of screen time should also be made so that students can stay away from being addicted to computers, or experiencing a downfall in their education. To conclude, although dependence on computers can indeed have a potential to harm students in some way, I still believe that it should be widely publicised to make use of technology in teaching. It is considered a breakthrough for humanity and can bring great benefits to the learning of many individuals. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Thank you for spending time reading and correcting my essay. Have a great day!

The total discussion approach to the given prompt is not based on the expected discussion format. For starters, the restatement does not properly represent the basis points for the discussion. The writer took a shortcut in this case which led to a sometimes incomplete and inaccurate representation. The writer also did not provide his own openmon as needed and only repeated the discussion instructions. These errors will result in a non-passing preliminary TA score. Debate / comparative discussion format reasoning paragraphs are the higher scoring paragraph presentations for this prompt. By comparing the public andpersonal opinions per idea, a more cohesive and coherent paragraph score can be achieved. The writer has misunderstood the writing requirement as meaning to only discuss his private opinion of both public ideas. While the discussion will be accepted and scored, this type of presentation cannot achieve higher than average marks since there are also LR and GRA deductions to be applied to the final score. The fact that there is absolutely no pronoun usage in thest discussion sections will result in a problematic GRA score. This prompt does not use a general reference in relation to the represented groups. By presenting his clear opinion in the concluding paragraph, he assures himself of a total failing score.This will be based on previous errors and the fact that a personal opinion cannot be stated in the conclusion. Thatis because the conclusion is to be used to present a summary of the previous discussions.

## *The charts show the main methods of transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009* **(Pie charts attached at the end)** The pie charts compare the primary means of travelling adopted by people when coming to a university between 2004 and 2009. Overall, all means of transport recorded an increase in its percentage apart from car and bicycle. It is also evident that car and bus were the two most popular sorts of movement, while the opposite was true for the others. As it is explicitly observed from the charts, the number of cars used occupied the highest proportion, at around a half in 2004 before decreasing by nearly a quarter 5 years later. Bus, similarly, rose its popularity from 33% in 2004 to almost a half in 2009, making itself from the least prevalent to the most prevailing, at 46% in 2009. Regarding the remaining types of vehicles, namely train, bicycle and walking, it was bicycle that remained unchanged at around one-tenth in both years. In the meantime, the figure for train slightly rose by a small fraction, invariably standing at the least popular kind of transport in two years. Likewise, the percentage of people going to university on foot increased marginally from 4% to 6% during the time period. *

The summary overview is confusing when it comes to describing the provided images. The images do not compare data between years. That would require an actual length of time depiction in a single pie chart. This image compares 2 years in 2 pie charts. A variation of the previous sentence is what should have been used to explain what images were provided and what these represent. The summary is not accurate and will not receive a passing score. A more thorough presentation of the trending statement would have provided a complete listing of the modes of transport prior to the measurementtrend. Along with this,a mention of the measurement type is necessary to complete the written descriptive information as it would have created a better mental picture for the reader. The end result would have been a strong and imaginative trending statement. ~~As it is explicitly observed from the charts~~ The report must be based upon the assumption that the reader does not have a copy of the image to refer to. By asking the reader to observe the image, this rule has been violated so deductions will be applied. This is the reason why I emphasized the need for a creative and informative, but not exaggerated data representation. There are specific writing rules to be followed in both tasks.

**Question: *Governments should invest in science, technology or business instead of arts.*** ## Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Essay Every country has its own unique culture, especially it is expressed by many arts. However, some people think that the arts should be replaced by science, technology or business. In my opinion, I disagree with the notion and I think arts are no less important than science and governments should invest in arts. Firstly, investing in the arts is to develop the services and tourism industries. Once the governments invest in the arts, it is creating conditions to preserve, restore and advertise the nation's historic and religious architecture to the world. From there, that country will preserve its roots and pass on its unique culture forever. On that basis, attracting a lot of tourists to travel and explore will make the services and tourism industries develop and bring a lot of profits for the country. As a result, the economy of the country is growing and becoming stronger. In addition, it will help the governments to solve a difficult problem of lack of jobs for workers. Because when tourism develops and attracts many visitors, it will create a lot of jobs such as guides, service staff,... for workers. Despite all these advantages of investing in the arts, there are still some people who think that governments should invest in science, technology or business instead of arts. However, when they know the essentials of arts they will realise why the governments should invest more in it. For example, when we do not concentrate on developing art, we will not be able to preserve our own country's roots and culture. For this reason, the economy goes down, the country is weakened and vulnerable to invasion. Therefore, investing in the arts is no less important than investing in science, technology or business. In conclusion, besides development science, technology or business, the governments should have policies to invest and develop the arts. Moreover, not only the governments, I think people should have the responsibility to preserve and advertise the nation's historic and religious architecture to the world.

The writer did an acceptable job in his restatement and opinion presentation. However, his discussion fell short of the better scoring discussion format. His discussion presentation could use a more proper debate slant to highlight the correct comparative discussion format for this essay. The correct discussion format will always gain a higher score. For this essay, a 5 paragraph format presentation would have gotten a better score. That is because offering focused paragraph discussions, one each for science, technology, and business would have given a more cohesive discussion consideration. Use evidence to prove that investing more in arts, when compared to the investment in each other aspect results in a better investment. Compare say, the cost against the results. The results will be a better analyzed and higher C+C score. With regards to punctuation usage, an ellipses cannot be used immediately after or before a comma. English punctuation rules allow only for the use of one punctuation mark at a time, normally after complete idea presentations or when listing consecutive ideas or information. Avoid referencing "I think". In any part of the presentation. The writer must show that he is convinced that his pinion is correct and he will not be able to convince the reader of the same. Only words of certainty must be used throughout the presentation.

## the average number of Vietnamese students studying in France, Russia and America The line graph compares how many Vietnamese students studying in three different countries over a period of 15 years. Overall, the number of Vietnamese students has education in America and France increased significantly during the period shown, while the figure for Russia decreased. And it is noticeable that American schools were the most popular in Vietnamese students. In 2000, over 3.5 million students were studying in France which was higher than the figures for Russia and American about 3 million and 1.6 million students, respectively. Five years later, the number of Vietnamese learners in France and Russia decreased by 1 million students. In contrast, there was an increase to 2 million students in the number of Vietnamese pupils came to America to study. From 2000 to 2005, there was a significant increase to 5 million students studying in America. Meanwhile, the figure for France also increased by more than 2 million students after remained stable for 5 years. Vietnamese pupils seemed less interested in Russia as the number of students studying in this nation decreased and hit a low of less than 2 million students in 2010 but then gradually increased to 2.5 million students at the end of the period *

Writing 201 words is stretching the writing time too close. With only 20 minutes to complete this task the student should not use this paper to showcase his vocabulary. Anywhere from 175 to 290 words will already accomplish that intention. Remember the idea is to present the best summarized analysis of the image data. The instruction does not require an over extended presentation. Keeping it short will also limit the possibility of multiple grammar and punctuation errors that could negatively affect the sectional scores. Create a proper first paragraph by combining the summary + trending statement. That will allow you to receive a better TA score since the C+C presentation for the paragraph will be complete. Avoid using stand alone single sentences since that is not a complete paragraph presentation. Always use at least 3 sentences representing the task requirements in the summary to gain a strong opening score. There are LR problems in the presentation as evidence by the writer's confusion regard the correct referencing between the country and the citizen in his presentation. It creates a confusing discussion target. There are also instances where the explanations are difficult to understand due to incorrect sentence structure and improper or missing punctuation marks. All of these problem points could lead to a failing GRA and C+C scores. The writer should get a better idea as to why a short essay may be better written than a wordy essay in the long run. Scoring well depends on proper editing and proofreading rather than just vocabulary usage.

## People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution The phenomenon of rapid urbanization acts as a precursor to physical health of the city dwellers. Air contamination is perceived to be at an alarming rate. This essay will elucidate the causes and exert solutions to alleviate this situation. The major catalyst of air pollution in big cities is population explosion. People hold a firm belief that they can derive a lot of profits by residing in metropolitan areas such as elite education and lucrative employment. The swell in population begets the purification of air in jeopardy. Second, citizens have propensity to utilize personal transportation by dint of its versatility and flexibility. They dislike public transport because of the fact that it is not spacious and put users in uncomfortable zone. Hence, it attributes to air contamination and hinders the growth of green environment. The meticulous solutions should be implemented to address this issue. First and foremost, residents should raise awareness of differentiating types of rubbish to preserve the purification of environment. It is imperative to perform this action despite its perplexity and demands individuals' meticulousity. Second, the authority's onus is devising stringent legislations to punish whoever does a disservice to environment. Concurrently, city dwellers should minimize the usage of personal transportation, if possible, use public transport as a substitution. The detrimental impacts of devastating the ecological system should be broadcasted nationally to arouse people's apprehension of living in polluted environment. To recapitulate, shielding environment in big cities from contamination is of paramount importance. It requires individuals' obligation so as not to aggravate the situation.

The writer has composed a non scorable restatement + writers opinion. Rather than paraphrasing the topic, the writer offered a personal opinion sentence. That created a discussion statement instead. The writer also failed to deliver clear thesis discussion points in response to the questions posed. Both actions ran counter to the expected response format for that paragraph, resulting in a failing consideration for that task section. A passing score cannot be provided when writing instructions are not met in that section's preliminary scoring phase. The swell in population begets the purification of air in jeopardy. There is a lack of evidence that will support this claim.The paragraph is therefore underdeveloped in relation to creating a cohesive paragraph discussion. Always offer examples to support such claims. The writer is not properly using descriptive and discussion words in this essay. The words used are unnatural and come across more as an oration rather than an everyday discussion. The LR score will also notbe impressive because of this. Overall, I believe that the essay will not pass once all scoring considerations are totalled. This is regardless of the obvious effort the exam taker has placed in developing the discussion and reasoning paragraphs.

## Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? Success can be defined in various ways. Some people suppose that money is the only yardstick for labeling a business as successful. I agree with this viewpoint to a certain extent; however, I believe there are many other criteria to be considered when evaluating an organization's prosperity. On the one hand, the revenue a company can generate is the most noticeable sign of its success. The majority of people tend to be under the assumption that the most flourishing companies are the most lucrative ones. In other words, the ultimate objective of almost every enterprise is to maximize profits, which implies that financial gain is the benchmark for determining whether a business is thriving or not. Take Apple, Microsoft, or Amazon as an example. They are included on the list of the world's most successful global brands, as measured by the amount of money they earn. In addition, companies, especially start-ups, can not reap success if they fail to make profits. Large corporations typically offer capital injection for new firms based on their financial outcomes. As a result, a start-up without revenue growth may not receive financial support and eventually struggle to survive in the competition. On the other hand, I contend that besides financial metrics, customer satisfaction and societal contributions are also vital parameters to gauge a firm's triumph. The company's ability to provide goods and services that meet the demand of every purchaser will create an extensive client base, together with brand loyalty. This ensures enterprises' long-term success and consolidates their position in the market. According to billionaire Richard Branson - the founder and chairman of the Virgin Group, true success should be measured by the customers' level of happiness so that the achievements would be long-lasting and valuable. Moreover, numerous non-profit organizations focus on eradicating global issues such as poverty, pollution or healthcare problems to improve the community. Their success is judged by the positive impacts they have on the individuals and society as a whole, rather than their earnings. In conclusion, although money is an important criterion to mark the success of a business, consumer fulfillment and beneficial influences on society are also the deciding factors.

There are specific questions being asked as a part of the writer's opinion presentation. While the writer did his best to deliver the correct restatement + personal opinion, the relevant paragraph failed to deliver because of 2 problems: 1. He provided a prompt deviant discussion point by indicating I agree with this viewpoint to a certain extent which is not a part of the discussion consideration for this prompt. This is actually a totally different prompt discussion instruction so it should not be referred to in this paragraph at all. It created heavy deductions due to an irrelevant response and unclear opinion presentation. 2. He failed to give direct topic responses to the 2 questions which would have comprised his opinion response. As such, the writer did not fulfill the clear writer's opinion presentation requirement for the paragraph. These errors will result in a non-passing preliminary assessment score for the paragraph. The discussion format is also improper as the essay base questions are not based on related discussion points. Therefore, a comparative reference referring to On the one hand and On the other hand cannot be used. These are not the correct transition phrases to use in this case because the requirement is more along the lines of a transition sentence, due to the differing discussion focus of the questions. Though based on a single topic, the discussion targets are different and unrelated. When considering the basis of the first question, the paragraph that the writer developed in reference to it is not totally convincing because the premise is based on big business rather than the SME's. A big business is already financially stable and therefore, cannot be considered the correct basis for this discussion. It is already a financial success. The presentation in that paragraph is not really applicable as presented. The second reasoning paragraph is more aligned with the question it is responding to. So this is the paragraph that can receive full scoring considerations. The problem is that the first reasoning paragraph will pull back the scoring consideration due to the incomplete and mostly improper discussion presentation. There is a misplaced apostrophe usage in this essay. It was used to indicate the plural form of a the word customers, which was unnecessary because the plural form does not use an apostrophe in its indicative form. An apostrophe S would have represented an ownership discussion point. That said, it is important to note that the correct word construction would have been the plural form, without any apostrophe usage. A concluding summary was necessary in this essay. The writer tried to provide one but he did not use the correct 40 word, 2 sentence minimum format for the paragraph so it cannot receive full TA considerations in terms of response format either.

## **Many people use written language in a less formal and more relaxed way.** *Why? Does this development have advantages and disadvantages?* On daily basis, people tend to use causal written language. Under the high growth speed of globalization, this essay will explain the reason, pros and cons of this phenomenon. Generally, the viewpoint of this situation is under the business environment. Considering international business, the relationship between the countries meets the communication barriers, which is the reason for this development. With a low level of effort, the trader could communicate with others in casual languages. The hidden reason for this development is the connection between culture, history, and human behaviors. By sharing some aspects of the world culture, people tend to use body language in written form. Turning to the advantages of this activity, using casually written language helps people who have low English skills could understand the ideas easier. The daily language also contains more familiar words than the formal one. The informal way to write would take less time to be written and edited than the formal one. With the casually written language, the vibe of content is from mutual to relax which is referred to as the casual occasion. However the informally written language makes the document effortless to be prepared, this phenomenon also existed some drawbacks. The relaxed tone of voice makes the writing inappropriate for the formal occasion. The document, the representation of the speakers, also shows the work attitude. If businessmen would like to show their profession to their partners, they should use formally written language. By keeping it short and simple, people could understand clearly the intention of the writer, without further explanation as the casually written language. *My last IELTS writing result is 6.0, and I want to improve my skill to 7.0. Give some advice to reach the target*

The prompt restatement + writer's opinion is not going to get a passing score for 2 reasons. First, it does not give a prompt restatement but a writer's discussion opinion. That occurred when the writer added the information On daily basis . The second reason for the failure will be a lack of proper writer's opinion using the thesis presentation format. He cannot receive a writer's opinion score in that paragraph when all the writer did was repeat the writing instructions. That is an automatic failure since repeating instructions does not allow the writer to give a clear opinion based on the given guide questions. These are the most score reducing portions of this essay. Where is the summary conclusion? That is sorely missing in this presentation. The summary conclusion is a requirement for the discussion accuracy score. The reverse paraphrase of at least 2 sentences would help to increase the discussion score potential for this essay. An essay without a summary conclusion paragraph cannot receive a higher than average passing score due to incorrect writing / discussion format requirements.

## Fashion industry's impact on society In my opinion, the fashion industry also has a negative impact on society. Many people, specifically the younger generation, are addicted to buy a great number of clothes. This bad habit results in many consequences. For example, a lack of money dues to buying unnecessary clothes. Besides, some people still judge others by their appearance. If they don't follow the trend or wear luxurious costumes, they might be seen as a poor and unattractive person. According to that situation, some even being bullied, which can lead to mental health illness

I am not sure if the writer is responding to a Task 2 prompt or if this is just a statement for an English writing exercise. If it is for a task 2 discussion, then this single paragraph will automatically receive a failing score for not meeting the word count and having an improperly presented line of reasoning. If this is for a simple English writing exercise then the writer should have paid more attention to his vocabulary usage, punctuation mark use and positioning in the sentences, as well as the clarity of his thoughts. There is a disconnection between the reasons he presents and evidence to prove that his claims are valid. The overall discussion has a problem because of the lack of idea development and examples. While the grammar is not perfect, the writer manages to reveal a clear thought, which only needed more development to make it clearer and better accepted as a discussion point.

***Nowadays it is not only large companies than can make film. Digital technology enables anyone to produce films***. ## Do you think it is a positive or negative development? These days, with the development of digital technology, people can make films in many ways and the film market is not only a piece of cake for large corporations. This change can be attributed to numerous reasons, and I consider this a positive development. There are two main reasons associated with this phenomenon. Firstly, everyone in modern life have almost one mobile device, such as a smartphone, tablet, or laptop. Therefore, they can easily record a video with a mobile phone, after that, they can be a professional editor with some mobile apps or softwares. Additionally, with the development of social network, online video platforms have become more popular with millions of visitors per day. This is because people's entertainment demand is dramatically increasing. Personally, I deem this a positive development. The first reason for my belief is that the mega corporations in the film field have to continuously change, develop their human resources, upgrade their devices, unstintingly create. This could be explained by the fact that the world changes from day to day, so the products of that corporations need to get a high quality and fit for all people in the world. Another reason is, individuals can access easily to a large number of high-quality films. This can be seen in the case of tough competition between large corporation and non-professional producer. In conclusion, while the development of digital technology, any one can to be a film producer, I consider this a positive development given the beneficial for citizen. In the near future, non-professional films will account for the larger proportion in the entertainment market./. *I hope that I will receive your feedback, it is very useful for me to improve my Writing skill. I have never take IELTS exam, so how can can I guess my score? Please and Thanks so much*

The first reason why this essay will fail is because it added a discussion point that is not included in the original prompt. The question only pertains to whether the idea presented is a positive or negative development. There was never a question as to how these changes developed. Neither was there a question as to why these changes happened. Therefore, the writer altered the discussion writing instruction a few times, leading to a totally different discussion focus in the reasoning section. These additions will already result in point deductions due to inaccurate topic depiction and irrelevant responses. Since a whole paragraph was dedicated to responding to the irrelevant discussion point, that total paragraph will be stricken from consideration. The result of which will be an essay that does not meet the minimum word count and, fails to fully develop a relevant 2 reasoning paragraph presentation. These will be the second basis for the overall failing score result. Understand that the discussion questions are provided to give the writer the ability to properly respond within 2 paragraphs. That means one relevant topic should be discussed in every section. These should be connected reasons that clearly explain the opinion of the writer, as relevant to the prompt. Fail to follow the instructions and provide these points and the essay will get a failing score.

***Topic: Plastic shopping bags are used widely and caused many environmental problems. Some people say they should be banned.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Essay: No one would deny the bad environmental effects plastic bags make but totally replacing them could have worse impact. That is why I believe plastic bags should not be banned. The reason why many do not support using plastic bags is that they pollute the land and the water. Some individuals reuse but mostly throw plastic away as trash. If they are not collected, they would dug in and impair the soil. Sometimes wind lifts plastic bags to rivers and seas. Many marine animals eat them and die. Because of those risks, banning plastic bags seems like the only way to save the Earth. A big numbers support replacing plastic bags by paper bags but it would make situation worse by another destruction. Totally using paper means more forest would be cleaned. Then, the carbon footprint would be increased. The planet would be warmer and there would be more natural disasters. For example, Vietnam lost a large amount of forest area during the wars. Therefore, now floods come frequently and causes big damage to people and properties. T do not think thoughtlessly banning plastic bags could solve the environmental problems. Government should have stricter laws of collecting and recycling instead of totally banning them. I am so glad to read your feedback, it is very necessary for me to improve my writing skills. Thank you so much for your help.

I found myself confused about the actual slant of this essay discussion. I had to review it twice to convince myself that the writer failed to follow the correct discussion format for this type of prompt. The third reading was what I used to definitely believe that the essay does not follow the required writing format. The first error in this essay is that the prompt restatement was not a restatement of the topic but rather, the personal opinion of the writer. The personal opinion is not considered a reflection of the paraphrasing of the given topic. The second error in the first paragraph is that there is a lack of measured or emotional response to the question. The writer needs to use words that show the strength of his belief in the statement. This is not a simple agree or disagree essay. A third error can be found in the discussion paragraphs. Being a single opinion essay, the writer will not recieve any score for the paragraphs that do not support his given opinion. Since only one paragraph somewhat supports the writer's opinion in this presentation, he cannot expect to receive a passing score for the presentation. The reason for the failure will be the collective results of the first 3 errors and the improper development of the reasoning paragraphs. There must be 2 full supporting paragraphs for the writer's opinion. It cannot be less than that otherwise the score will be based on an under developed explanation. The writer also failed to proofread the work, which will result in a lower GRA score. In the last paragraph, "T" was used in place of "I", indicating that the essay was not edited nor proofread prior to submission. A review and corrections should always be applied prior to submission to avoid these easily corrected errors that have major score reducing effects.

## social media and the face-to-face interaction Many people argue that social media makes individuals do not have to directly communicate together. While there are some drawbacks to communicating via social media, I maintain that the strengths will likely be more significant. On the one hand, the idea of social media is advantageous to some extent. The first advantage of this is that it is easier to access and connect rapidly for anyone who has a mobile device with an Internet connection. This is because individuals have at least one mobile device, such as a smartphone, tablet, or laptop which is very popular, and they all have a wireless connection. Another advantage is social media, which provides a easy-to-master platform to use and communicate whenever and wherever. This is perfectly exemplified in case of Covid-19 pandemic, everyone needs to stay at home for safety, no one can go out, and social media is a temporary solution. On the other hand, this practice can highlight a number of valid concerns. Firstly, time-consuming is first problem when people are using the social media. It is not only an environment for communication but also an entertainment space where they can read news, watch videos and surf the Internet. Secondly, social media makes one addicted to mobile devices. This could be explained by the fact that they do not need to go out and have face-to-face conversations; they just stay at home, surf, and update the new status of their friends. In conclusion, this trend might possess numerous disadvantages. However, I am more inclined to the view that the advantages will likely prevail.

While the grammar of the essay leans more on the incorrect sentence structure and word usage side, the writer has managed to come across with clear thoughts regarding his personal opinion. Believe me, even though the score for the GRA and LR sections will not be very high, these mispresented sentences will somehow stop the C+C score from seeing a failing mark. While the C+C score will not be tremendously high, it will be enough to garner a somewhat passing score. I have to point out though that an incorrect writer's opinion presentation was used in the reasoning paragraphs. The writer decided to use a comparative analysis of one positive and one negative aspect of the discussion, which is not what the examiner will expect to read. Since the question is posed in a debate format, the writer should use the written debate format in the reasoning paragraphs. That is because the believability of of opinion will be based upon how well he proves the opposing argument to be false. Therefore, there should be 2 perceived negatives that he can explain as actual positives in the discussion section. One negative idea with a positive explanation per paragraph. That is how the written A v. D written debate is formatted. That said, the presentation cannot be seen as properly and completely developed due to the improper discussion format. Only the section that actually supports the writer's opinion would be accepted in this case, but it will not be enough of a consideration to receive a high passing score.

## benefits or inconveniences of travel Have you ever wondered what are some of the disadvantages of travel? For the most part, traveling can greatly benefit our minds and allow us to make new friends. However, there are several downsides worth being considered if you wish to set off on a new journey: costly expenses, loneliness, and fear of missing out on other important events. First of all, traveling can be expensive. There are a lot of fees you need to cover such as accommodations, food, transportation, etc. if these necessities are not met well, you will have a hard time enjoying your trip. Therefore, in order to have a great trip, you need to make savings, which can take a while. Another drawback is that you may feel lonely, especially when traveling alone. This is also true even when you travel with friends since you may not see eye to eye on everything, which is exhausting. It is just the nature of traveling. Finally, embarking on a new journey at whatever reasonable time is likely to make you miss some important events with your family and friends. While you are living a different life, your loved ones and close friends still get on with their lives, which means their milestones such as engagements, weddings, and births may occur without your presence. Thus, you will have to contemplate the cost of traveling and missing out on these memorable events. In short, while traveling is undoubtedly beneficial, its inconveniences, costly expenses, loneliness, and fear of missing out, should be worth weighing up. These downsides may seem insignificant but they can annoy you no matter how exciting your journey may be.

Since the title of the essay implies that the writer should opt to discuss either the benefits or inconveniences of travel, the writer should not have confused the prompt restatement by indicating a partial benefit of travel. It was unnecessary since there is clearly a one opinion discussion instruction provided. Whenever the word OR is presented for opinion making, that indicates a one sided discussion. The writer should never try to present the benefit of the opposing side since that creates an incohesive discussion presentation. The focus should only be on the side that the writer supports. So the presentation of the benefit in this restatement paragraph creates a scoring mark down for the paragraph. The fact that the writer does not include the benefits in the body of paragraphs also means that the writer understood that this is a one sided opinion paper. Why he misrepresented the prompt restatement is beyond me. He should also never write a rewording using a rhetorical question that will not be dealt with in the body of the presentation. It further added to the C+C problems of the presentation and further lowered the final overall score for the presentation. By presenting a concluding personal opinion in the concluding statement, the writer further deviates from the TA requirements since this was only a general discussion presentation and not a personal opinion statement. By making a factual personal reference in the end, a prompt deviation was created, leading to a problematic score for this student in the end.

## smartphones and kids In modern society, children use most of their time on smartphones. Throughout this essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and express my opinion on the matter. Firstly, I will discuss the negatives of children spending lots of time on smartphones and secondly, I will share the positives of this trend if it is mined in the right way. Children using smartphones will affect their mental health. Lots of inappropriate behavior may have a negative effect on their psychology due to phone radiation. This hazard makes children feel alone, catharsis, as well as being isolated from sociality. Additionally, the negative effects of the internet may result from contemporary online platforms or social networks. For example, in 2019, a trend appears on the Youtube platform so-call "Momo challenge" which increase the suicide rate of children around the world. As a result of that, Viet nam's government immediately had the policy to remove such videos on Youtube. On the other hand, exposure to smartphones early gives children great advantages. Using smartphones early helps children keep pace with technology. There are many changes in our living world today. To develop a comprehensive yourself as well as avoid being a laggard person, children should know the way to use these technologies, typically smartphones. Furthermore, early exposure to smartphones helps children learn from the internet which is a vast resource of human knowledge. The children's exploitation of this resource helps them have creativity, problem-solving, and independence personality. For example, online free courses on the internet help children to understand more about lectures before going to their classes. In Conclusion, there are many benefits and negatives to children spending hours every day on their smartphones. In my opinion, it is a positive development. Parents should take care of their children to encourage their independence as well as to stimulate their curiosity. P/s: Could you give me an advice, please?

The essay has already received a failing score for the preliminary TA consideration. That is because the original prompt topic and discussion points were completely altered by the writer in his restatement and opinion presentation. As such, the writer cannot expect to receive a passing score even if the does well in the succeeding LR, C+C, and GRA considerations. While minimal points will be awarded in these sections, the fact that the writer did not follow the writing and discussion instructions are originally indicated have prevented the writer from gaining a passing score. Once the writer shows that he failed to follow the writing instructions, it becomes clear to the examiner that the writer does not have an English comprehension ability that will allow him to perform well in an English academic setting. The only way to pass a task 2 test is to make sure that the discussion instructions are properly represented in the reasoning paragraphs and that the restatement paragraph does not totally deviate from the given discussion considerations. This essay did not follow instructions.

***Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. ## Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*** These days, a wide range of people tend to cope with problems relating to health by simply using medicines and curing methods without the instructions of doctors. However, I believe the positive aspects of this trend are eclipsed by more immediate threats On the one hand, there is numerous useful information in terms of various kinds of illnesses. Therefore, people can easily search and get to know about their health issues. It is extremely convenient, so individuals do not need to book appointments with doctors to learn about their little sicknesses. Moreover, some people may find it quite economical, to just buy medicines or receive appropriate treatments. On the other hand, it is very risky to consume medicines that are not suitable for a person's health, which leads to a result that the immune system of the person can be decreased and vulnerable. In addition, medical information on the internet is not always accurate, then people can misunderstand their health problems, and will not get cured in the correct ways, as a result, their sickness may not only get worse but also more complicated to cure. When visiting doctors, patients will be consulted by professionals about their health situations, and they will be arranged on the right path to deal with their illness. In conclusion, it may be acceptable to cure small diseases by one's self. Nevertheless, I fiercely recommend people should get medical advice from professional doctors.

Please make sure to double check the draft version of the essay prior to submission. That will help with the correcting of the presentation in terms of missing punctuation marks, improperly used punctuation, incorrect word choices, and sentence structure improvement. These are the main problems that can be found in this essay with a simple scan of the work. The analysis of the presentation has not even been completed at that point and already the essay is in a big risk of not receiving a failing score. The question asked is if the trend is a negative or positive development. The question was not responded to in the correct format. Rather, the writer immediately jumped to his thesis statement. In his haste to establish his discussion point, he will lose points for not directly presenting his opinion in a manner related to the question provided. Since the writer has a single opinion for this essay, the discussion paragraphs should have represented 2 valid reasons for his opinion. What the writer did was try to justify both sides of the discussion in his reasoning paragraphs. That is the wrong writing approach for reasons previously mentioned. The essay cannot receive complete scoring marks since the evidence presentation is incomplete and lacking in substance. This happened because the writer used a comparative discussion rather than the single opinion defense format, which is the expected response format for this essay. While the writer understood the topic for discussion and pretty much knew how to defend his point of view, the response format that was used proved to be the main problem for the presentation. The lack of proper response formatting and approach led to heavy deductions in the C+C section. This essay may not receive a passing score in an actual setting.

***Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school.*** ## Discuss both views and give your opinion. There is an ongoing conflict as to whether tertiary schooling should be exclusive to students who have gained many academic credentials or it should be a universal place for all strata regardless of their performances at school. From my perspective, I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following essay. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that outstanding high school pupils are more deserved to attend university in that recruiting top-tier learners have a positive association with the guarantee of qualities in terms of educational backgrounds. Consequently, were classrooms to embody learners with formidable points, lecturers would be able to highly develop the lessons by stimulating more advanced knowledge, resulting in a better precursor of students as well as enhancing the intellectual levels among them. Furthermore, the school's reputation could be tremendously proliferated what with the strict requirements of school agencies. For example, in an endeavor to maintain prestige, Havard University has only accepted application forms from students who are categorized as geniuses. On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that success can not be determined by age or a person's intellectual potential, therefore, the view of not letting people of other ages enroll in schools is flawed. Specifically, in some particular occupations such as psychology and education management, elderly people might do even better than the top students because they have more practical experiences and depth-thinking dexterities in life. Additionally, most schools need financial budgets to maintain their facilities. In more detail, if colleges only prioritize students with scholastic achievements which just account for a small number of people in society, many others will not have opportunities to enroll in their universities, leading to a diminishing amount of money from the tuition fee so that colleges will no longer have enough money to improve their equipment. In conclusion, despite universities being capable of making a room for intelligent students and enhancing their prowess but with me, it would be beneficial in the long run if all students are able to assign to their adorable schools without any requirements of collegiate achievements.

From my perspective This phrase indicates that you already have an opinion that you will be sharing with the reader. Therefore, your opinion should have been presented to indicate that you will be using the 3 reasoning paragraph format for this essay. the writer's opinion ended without stating an opinion. Therefore, deductions will be made since a portion of the task requirement for this paragraph was not achieved. Where there is no clear opinion present, the writer will receive a failing score for the task restatement preliminary consideration. The essay also did not follow the prescribed discussion format for this topic which is to use a group point of view in comparison with a personal opinion. Since the indication for the writing format for the essay is the 3 reasoning paragraph, the format should have been: Paragraph 2: Explanation of why Public Opinion 1 is valid (Based on public perception). Paragraph 3: Explanation of why Public Opinion 2 is valid (Based on mass understanding). Paragraph 4: Statement of the writer's personal opinion with supporting reasons (Using personal perspective references) As such, this essay is approached only from the personal opinion side, which makes the discussion incomplete since the required comparative discussion basis is not represented. It will have TA and C+C scoring problems.

## the problem of food waste Indeed, an excessive amount of food that was bought from stores and restaurants is being wasted these days. This can be attributed to several factors, which can require possible measures to be adopted. There are several reasons why individuals are wasting a large amount of food. The first obvious explanation is that food is becoming cheaper and being served in extremely large portions in many restaurants. This can cause many customers to fail to finish their dishes and thus, the leftover food would go to waste. The second reason is that consumers, especially young adults, who are busy with their work choose to buy food for the whole week and purchase more than needed. This might increase the likelihood of some products becoming spoiled and also being wasted. Various measures, nevertheless, can be implemented to address this situation. One possible solution is that restaurants should limit the number of portions that they serve to their customers instead of serving a variety of slap-up meals. As a result, customers can be able to finish the dishes they order without leaving any leftovers. Another approach worth mentioning is that each consumer should make a shopping plan of what they want to buy before going to grocery stores. This is because, it allows them to take control of unplanned purchases and also helps to reduce the amount of food they buy, and thereby preventing food from being wasted. In conclusion, many reasons can be given to explain why a large amount of food is being wasted, but I believe that steps can be made to alleviate this situation.

The essay could have been better developed by the writer. Firstly, he should have properly represented his thesis statement in relation to the direct questions being asked. He only repeated the instructions, he did not give a summarized response to the questions, which left the restatement + opinion paragraph without any true opinion for consideration. Therefore, the score that will be given for the preliminary consideration will be based on a lack of proper response format, no opinion presented, and basically, an incompletely developed paragraph that is lacking in logic and reasoning presentation. Since this is a problem - solution discussion, the writer should not present 2 problems in 1 paragraph then 2 solutions in the next. A fully developed, properly explained, and well scoring paragraph will: Sentence 1: Present the problem Sentence 2: Explain why the problem occurs Sentence 3: Present a solution Sentence 4: How to implement the solution Sentence 5: Give an example to prove that the solution can be implemented in real time These are the series of discussion points that will create a cohesive and coherent problem-solution paragraph. These are the keys to achieving a high scoring essay based on this format. Kindly also remember to use at least 2 summary sentences in the concluding paragraph to meet the 40 word minimum requirement for that section.

## Covid-19 and community People have, in recent years, shown concern on Covid-19 pandemic. Many countries in the world have to face up to a variety of both difficulties and opportunities which will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, it is an indisputable fact that our community has difficulty during the Covid-19 pandemic. Firstly, it is noteworthy that we have to deal with economic crisis. This is because a large number of workers need to go on strike due to social-distancing; as a result, this will cause the national economy to go down and pose a threat to their development. Another feasible explanation is that study quality plunges. That is to say students are required to stay at home and study online instead of studying directly at school, resulted in low level of attention capacity as they are easily distracted by numerous videos on Youtube, Facebook, etc. By way of illustration, a recent research carried out in China, the origin of Covid-19 pandemic, reveals that the average grade of students has decreased to a great extent, from 80 out of 100 to 40 as a result of short attention span. Therefore, it is clear that my nation has to cope with challenges in the time of Covid-19. Nevertheless, we also have opportunities during the outbreak of Covid-19. Admittedly, this pandemic makes people comprehend the value of life. This is due to the fact that before experiencing the social-distancing period, people must live under a lot of pressure and in fast pace of life. Living in Covid-19 means they are given a chance to ease their mind and enjoy their life as they no longer commune to work or are stressed at work; as a consequence, they will feel a sense of tranquility and have much affection to life. Another justification worth mentioning here is that the impoverished in this difficult time are taken care of more than before; last year, for example, about 1,000 poverty-stricken households are supported and helped by the government, the greater number than before. Hence, it is evident that besides the nation records challenges during Covid-19 outbreak. On balance, although the country experiences some hindrances, it is also given other opportunities to develop.

The opening paragraph is confusing. If the focus of the essay is to be the community of the writer, then he must make that very clear from the first paragraph. The topic introduction and short form discussion topics should already focus on the community of the student since that is the target of the discussion. I am not sure if the writer knows the difference between the effects of a lockdown and a worker's strike. When a community is locked down, a strike is not possible. Even after the lockdown, a strike can not be accomplished because of social distancing and other health safety protocols. Abbreviated references such as "etc." should not be used in academic writing. Such references are best used in casual writing since there are no writing formalities involved in such non-academic writing formats. The concluding presentation is too short to be qualified as a proper summation. It does not really reference the benefits and drawbacks the community experienced. The writer needs to properly develop a concise summary for better scoring next time.

## email from club Email cho bạn : Hi Eric, How's work going? I am contacting you for the following reason to tell you that I am very happy when I received an email from their manager. Did you received the email from their club? I expect them to ... In fact, we will have more useful knowledge and sharpen out skills. How about you? Let me know when you received an email,too. Please feedback for me ! Love, Vo Thien ------------

**One topic per thread** The email cannot be properly reviewed in its current state. When no writing instructions are provided for the benefit of the educational consultant, where more than half the email is blanked out by the writer, a proper review cannot be made. There is basically no information provided in the email that I can review to help the student improve his task writing skills. It is important that the writer post the complete email, along with writing instructions should he wish to receive a proper review from this consultant at this forum. Only when I have the complete information in relation to the writing task will I be able to provide a proper work analysis for the writer.

## Parents awareness about problems of their children Throughout this century, the view of learning has changed dramatically and the majority of people feel this change is not for better. Obviously, they mostly caused from parents because of lack of understanding how difficult their children have to face. Therefore, to shorten the gap between them, these are remedies that we will discuss below. For and foremost, teenagers have peer pressure while being compared with their schoolmates. As a result, they obsess with having high-score is priority by the thinking of their parents. Moreover, juveniles can get depressed, mental health problem or even hurt themselves regularly. In order to lessen those serious impacts, parents should change the way they define about learning which is deeply ingrained through many generations. Hence, with the high-expectation, almost teenagers have sedentary lifestyle as studying too much. Furthermore, they do not have enough time to partake any sporty competitions to strengthen their health as well as their mind. What is more, because of learning, a plethora of children do not alike to care about their appearances. As a consequence, despite excellent students, they can be isolated by their classmates. Therefore, parents should decrease their works to spend more time aside their juveniles and encourage them when getting low marks to avoid those negative impacts. All things considered, to enhance teenagers in learning, both of themselves and their parents have to cooperate together. Moreover, parents also have to rise their awareness of difficulties and problems their children have to face during their schoolife.

This is definitely an essay that cannot recieve a passing score because it will receive a failing mark for each, individual scoring consideration. The sentences lack any sense and the meaning is difficult for a native English speaker to decipher due to the problematic word choices of the writer. The sentences are so improperly structured that it is obvious the student needs to take some formal English classes in order to understand how to construct even the most basic English sentence, much more a basic English paragraph. The reader is constantly confused by what meaning or idea the writer is trying to convey. The lowest marks will definitely be given in the TA section (in relation to a clear writer's opinion), the C+C section (due to the problem conveying his thoughts clearly and coherently), GRA (due to the lack of proper sentence substance), and LR (based on improper word choices).

## to be a businesswoman In my opinion, everyone all has a dream and so do I. In fact, I want to be a businesswoman and set up my own company. To make my dream come true, I feel I've done a few things. Firstly, I think I studied quite hard and always put a lot effort into studying. In addition, finding new things to learn and revising learned things are my personality. Secondly, I like reading books, especially economic books and science fiction books. Also, there are some tips in doing your best anywhere and make things as perfectly as I can. Last but not least, I helped my friends when they got trouble. Everything is not as important as your family and your friends. I think family is the thing that I must protect and love but friends, they are people who can help me on the way to develop myself to become my best version and make the company always stand better on its own. Clearly, there are too many things I haven't done yet to make my dream come true but confident, trust myself, internalize and choose the best way for me to make my dream - to be a businesswoman become true.

Since the question is just "What you want to be in the future", an opinion statement is not required. There is no need to reference "In my opinion" because that is not was is being asked in the prompt. The current statement misleads the reader into believing that this is an opinion presentation when it is not. It is a mere general idea discussion topic. It is useless to refer to "I think" in an essay that asks for preciseness in the information presentation. What have you done to make your dream come true? The response should be "To make my dream come true, I have done the following. I have studied..." Sadly, the writer has not done anything to make the dream come true in reference to becoming a businesswoman. While she has made preparations to become a better person, there is no move done to prove an early exposure to business that would prove the writer is preparing to enter the business world either through formal studies or personal experience.

I think I am similar to Alice because I also hate doing chores. I think it is so boring, repetitive and hard. Most chores are dirty, heavy, tiring and sweaty. And to be honest, I am pretty lazy, so I dislike doing chores. Moreover, I'm too busy with my studies, so I hardly ever do chores. However, I don't deny the benefits of chores. Doing chores can bring a lot of benefits to children. It teaches them life skill and help build their character. It also helps some people relax when they feel stressed. Now, I am trying to share housework with my mom because she does too much. Finally, although I hate doing chores, I will try to do more chores in the future.

I am not clear regarding what question the writer is trying to respond to in this statement. In fact, I do not even know who Alice is and why that person has to be mentioned in this writing. I do not see a connection between the character and the writer's reference to his own chores in the response. I believe this lack of connection has affected the clarity of the presentation and is the main reason for the confusion when a stranger reads this piece of writing. More of a connected backstory is required. In addition to that, the writer should also avoid using the conjunction "and" to start a sentence. As he should know from his English lessons, a sentence should never start with a conjunction as there are no discussion ideas to be connected at the start of a sentence.

## Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems It is true that the high population density happening in metropolitan areas has become a pressing issue in modern society. Although several negative consequences on the urban environment and people's quality of life have undoubtedly resulted from this tendency, governments can take a number of effective solutions to tackle these problems. As the population of urban areas has been increasing at alarming rates, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue would be obviously more private means of transport and industrial activities, which is identified as the primary culprit of air pollution in cities. It is because exhaust fumes from petrol-consuming vehicles and gas emissions from factories result in a higher concentration of carbon dioxide and particulate matter in the atmosphere, causing air quality degradation. As a result, city dwellers might suffer from a wide range of chronic health concerns such as asthma, dermatitis, respiratory infection, and even lung cancer. Another issue would be the possibility of non-renewable resource depletion such as fresh water, cropland and fossil fuels. This is happening because there is an overexploitation of natural resources for the huge demand for housing, food and industrial manufacturing in urbanized areas. There are several actions that governments could take to mitigate the problems described above. Firstly, governments can run resettlement programs by investing more life-sustaining necessities in rural areas such as education, recreation, health care and job opportunities. This will motivate citizens to relocate voluntarily to these newly constructed areas, which reduces the population density in big cities. Another solution would be enforcing laws to inhibit high birth rates in cities and encourage family planning movements by incorporating a one-child policy or tax exemption regulations for couples having one child in the marital law-making process. Finally, it is imperative for scientists to develop more renewable and environmentally-friendly energy sources to radically address the matter of resource exhaustion caused by overpopulation in the long run. In conclusion, while there are various problems that are certain to arise from the overpopulation of urban areas nowadays, they can be combated effectively with resettlement programs and birth-control policies. These governmental actions, if done properly, can hopefully address these problems and avert the future degradation of the environment and public welfare.

The essay is over-written. It is not possible to write a 368 word essay within 40 minutes. Not when the writer is required to make sure that the essay is concise, without grammatical errors, and proofread for perfection prior to submission. Do not just keep writing for the sake of writing. That is how most exam takers fail this test. The idea is to show how well you can express yourself in a quick and coherent manner. This is not a test of how many English words you know. It is the focus on vocabulary made the writer develop the wrong writing format for this essay. For starters, he does not need to vouch for the validity of the discussion since it is not a required aspect of the discussion. Where an alteration of the statement exists, a prompt deviation deduction will be applied. So, the writer will already start the test with a failing score. Then, he does not respond directly to the questions provided, which means the discussion foundation or idea presentation is missing, causing the full paragraph to fail for not meeting the Task Accuracy requirements for the prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph. The writer is also hyper focusing on explaining only the first part of the discussion in every paragraph. The minute he has to develop an explanation for his second idea presentation, he runs out of discussion points and ends up creating an under developed paragraph instead. This is precisely why he should not focus on word usage, but rather, on a developed idea presentation, using only necessary words to get his message across. Overall, this is a highly verbose, but not well developed essay so it will definitely have scoring problems in an actual test setting.

## The proportion of smokers in british society The table gives information about the proportion of males and females who smoked in Britain during the period 1970 to 2000. It is clear that the proportion of smokers in males was higher than in females in Britain. From 1970 to 2000, the figures increased significantly. However, the proportion of males who smoked underwent more considerable growth. The percentage of smokers in males was 10% in 1970 in Britain. After that, the figure rose dramatically and reached the highest point of 37% in 1985. Following that, this proportion fell gradually, which declined by 9% from 37% to 28% between 1985 and 2000. The proportion of males who smoke was smallest in 1970, at 5%. Over the period of 20 years, the percentage grew substantially and reach a peak at 37% in 1990 and then overtook the figure for females. Finally, males saw a decrease in the proportion of smokers by 10% (from 37% to 27%) from 1990 to 2000, which was similar to the percentage of males. *

There is an inconsistency in the summary overview. The image depicts the measurements in percentage form based on half decade measurements. These information should be made clear in the summary overview prior to the collective time coverage reference. Sentence stucturing is a problem in the trending paragraph. It is difficult to make sense out of the current format. If written as: *From 1970 to 2000, the figures increased significantly for the proportion of male smokers. This was indicative of the proportion of smokers in males being higher than in females in Britain.* the sentence would have been more coherent and concise in presentation, thus making it a higher scoring trend, which could have been merged with the summary for maximum TA impact. Why is the focus always only on the male smokers? The female measurements should be properly discussed and represented as well. It is possible that the writer, who did not bother to proof read his work, also referred to the females as males in the next paragraph. A wrong interpretation that will result in a failing score for this essay since the analysis is faulty and will affect the validity of the C+C explanations.

## water used for different purposes The charts below illustrate the proportion of the use of water in several areas of the world in three categories. Based on the chart, agricultural use is the largest for the majority of the water used in South America, Africa, and Asia areas from 71 % up to 88%. The purposes of water used are almost the same in the Africa and Asia areas. The percentages in agricultural use are the main purposes in those areas up to over 80%. Besides, the use in industrial and domestic are under 10% except for the domestic use in South East Asia has slightly different to the other. By contrast, the used water in Europe and North America is reflected in the same purposes. The used water in industrial contribute the largest part of the water used in Europe and North America on average around 50% and over 30% of water is used in agricultural use and domestic use only shares 13-15% in total. *

The writer has not specifically identified the type of image that was provided in the report. This will result in an inaccurate summary of information. The type of image is required as a part of the task accuracy consideration for that paragraph. Therefore, the type of image and number of images must be provided at the start of the presentation as it serves as the basis for the succeeding information. Since the reader is assumed to not have any copy of the image, the proper image presentation will help the reader create the required mental image for a better understanding of the image yet to be provided and analyzied. A summary overview also requires a minimum of 3 sentences. This is often achieved by properly summarizing the notable information and then working in the trending assessment into the same first paragraph. That way the reader will be given a comprehensive summary of the notable information. There is no real trending statement provided in this essay. A trending statement cannot contain actual numerical data from the images as it is to represent an assessment of information rather than an actual analytical report. The reporting paragraphs would have been clearer if it indicated how the water was used per area first. That would make it a proper topic anchor and introduction sentence. Allowing the reader to better follow the discussion going forward into the reading.

***The pie charts illustrate the percentage of nutrients combined by Americans that could be unhealthy if they ate too much*** ## Summarise information from the charts Overall, looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that the amount of sodium and saturated fat was predominantly consumed at dinner which was eaten in snacks In the first graph, the figure for sodium was the highest consumption for dinner is 43% and then breakfast and snacks had the same number that is 14%. Besides, lunch where has 29% of sodium. In the next graph, 37% of fat was used in dinner while this number was only 21% and 16% respectively, snacks and breakfast. There 26% of fat was seen in lunch In the third graph, the amount of sugar was mostly used in snacks, whereas in breakfast, it had 16%. In addition, the figure for sugar which was used in lunch had 19% and 25% for dinner * *Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where r*

The essay falls one word short of the 150 word requirement. As such, it will receive automatic deductions for being short of the presentation requirement and what is obviously a problematic analytical report. The writer was just too careless while writing this report. The evidence of which can be found in how he started the opening paragraph with a lower case word. The basic rule is that the first word of every sentence, regardless of paragraph number or position, should always be capitalized. Add to that the lack of proper punctuation mark usage and it becomes clear that the writer just did not care to double check his presentation just in case. The way this essay is structured, it appears that the writer does not care if he passes or fails the test. The summary overview was incomplete and not even inclusive of the correct highlightable information. The trending statement asks the reader to look at the graph, when the indication for this task is to present the information in an imaginative manner since the reader does not have a copy of the report or image on hand. I have pointed out only a few of the errors in this essay that will definitely prevent it from receiving a passing score. A comprehensive review of the mistakes in this presentation will simply be too long at this point. However, I have pointed out the most important aspects for improvement that, when corrected will show an immediate positive writing atyle change for the student.

## school site diagrams The stride of an unknown school site from 2004 to 2024 is illustrated in the two maps given. Overall, there will be some amelioration taking place in the school site over twenty years with the most significant change in the number of students. In greater detail, there will be 1,000 students studying in the school whereabouts, which will be 400 students greater than it was in 2004. In terms of the west, the road, the driveway and the main entrance will be retained their functions and positions. In addition, a path will be constructed so that School Building 1 and 2 can be linked at the expense of dwindling the length of a path which used to be connected with the main entrance. As far as the others are concerned, sundry plants will be chopped down to make room for another car park adjacent to the newly-set-up School Buiding 3 in the east of the location which will be engaged with a newly-built road. Finally, the sport field will be narrowed and re-positioned at the side of Car Park 2. *

Do not focus on word usage alone. There are several instances in this presentation when the word choice is incorrect or inapplicable to the sentence. These errors create problems since the paragraph becomes incoherent to the reader. I understand that the writer is trying to get a good LR score, but when the word meaning does not fit the representation, this attempt will only succeed in leading to a failing score in that section. The writer has not provided a clear summary overview and the discussions are also lost in terms of coherent and cohesive representation. Information that is necessary, such as the year representations, proper paragraph comparisons, and individual paragraph explanations are not well threshed out in this essay. As such, the writer created an under developed reporting analysis. I believe this error was caused by his lack of outlining and drafting his presentation. The writer just wrote on the fly and hoped that it would result in a passing score, which it will not.

## world forest - the pie charts The given pie charts compare the proportion of forest in five different continents as well as the production of timber in each region. Overall, the forests in Africa accounted for the largest proportion of the world's forest while the smallest forest coverage is found in Asia. Additionally, timber produced in North America holds the greatest share of the world's timber whereas the opposite is true for Africa. In terms of forests, North America and Africa take up the vast majority of forests in the world, at 25% and 27% respectively. The percentage of forest that South America, Europe, and Asia make up is almost the same, at 16%, 18%, and 14% respectively. According to the second pie chart, around 30% of the world's timber output comes from North America. Despite having the largest proportion of forest, Africa constitutes a negligible amount of timber, at only 9%. Meanwhile, timber in South America, Asia, and Europe comprise 23%, 18%, and 20% of the world's timber. *

Always remember that the number of images provided helps to add to the accuracy of the short form information presentation. That means, do not just identify these as pie charts, indicate 2 pie charts. Then use a different sentence to identify the information being provided per chart. That way the reader will know how to divide the information based upon the summarized information. Additionally, oen should never use a single sentence for the summary overview. While this may be presented within 2 sentences, it would be better to blend that into the trending discussion, rather than presenting the trend as a stand alone presentation. The summary overview needs to be at 5 sentences long maximum anyway. Maximize the TA scoring potential for the first paragraph at all times by using the correct presentation format. The essay could have been better analyzed if the writer opted to write at least 3 sentences, as required, for each analytical paragraph. Since this is 2 image presentation, the discussion could have even been extended to a 200 word count composed of a 4 paragraph presentation. The current presentation is not going to be considered fully developed, analyzed, or explained. It is not going to get a good C+C score in the end because of this.

## the policy of taxing private car owners In order to deal with the current dense volume of traffic, the Vietnamese government suggests a policy in which private car owners should be charged a high fee to improve public transportation. This policy would lead to certain benefits such as reducing traffic density and improving air quality but there are also drawbacks such as causing inconveniences due to the unavailability of public transportation. On the one hand, the policy would help reduce traffic density and improve air quality. This is because when people are charged a high fee every time they use their cars, they only use them when it is necessary or when they are in emergencies, which would cut down on the number of cars at one time, particularly during rush hours, and ease the traffic density. Additionally, some would choose public transportation for remote purposes instead to avoid paying the tax. This, thus, ends up lower the amount of CO2 emitted into the environment and boosts the overall air quality of the country. On the other hand, the policy may cause several certain inconveniences due to the unavailability of public transportation. Many areas in Vietnam do not have access to public transportation. Therefore, some can be placed in a situation where they do not have any choice but to use their private cars. For example, one lives in a small town that doesn't have any bus stop or train stations. He/she has to use his/her private car to go to work and pay a heavy tax for using car. However, he/she doesn't have a chance to use public transportation and save money spent on the tax like others, which is quite unfair for him/her. In conclusion, the policy of taxing private car owners to improve public transportation can help alleviate the volume of traffic and air pollution in Vietnam. Nonetheless, this also leads to some inconveniences because of the unavailability of public transportation. To enhance the efficiency of the policy, the government should widen the public transportation system first to make sure everyone can access them.

The writer will do well to remember that a task 2 essay scores the accuracy of the information provided when compared to the original topic presentation. The first discussion version uses a general government reference. Therefore, the writer should not have represented this as a Vietnamese government proposal in the interpretation. This creates a prompt inaccuracy since the topic basis has been altered from the original reference. This is an error that will cause deductions in the TA section in relation to prompt restatement considerations. However, the appropriateness of the comparative response will somewhat offset that deduction. It is a very strong writer's general opinion with thesis statement declaration. When writing in the English language, there is no need to use both genders in the presentation. The default gender for English writing is always in the male form. Therefore simply stating "he" and its variations thereof will be sufficient enough to get a good GRA score. The current format being used is confusing as it tries to refer to both genders, creating a confusion in the reference presentation. The reasons presented are sound but lacking in convincing power due to the lack of proper example in reference to the discussion. An example needs to be clearly referenced as a final result of the suggested discussion. Without it, the solid foundation of the explanation does not really exist. As for the concluding summary, it will also receive lower TA points due to the same reasons previously stated. The focus of the discussion is a general government, not Vietnam. It should always be reflected as such. While there are a few problems in the presentation, I believe that the other scoring considerations could help this essay achieve a passing TA score but not higher than a low passing mark due to the observed problems with the presentation. This is a good start. The writer shows that he at least has sufficient English comprehension skills and at least an intermediate grasp of the word usage.

## money handling BY ADOLESCENS There exist conflicting opinions about educating children about money handling in family. Some hold the view that kids are not mature enough to completely realize money's importance while others believe it is still of the essence for them to be equipped with money management skills in the formative years. From my perspective, I agree with the latter as long as suitable steps are taken. To begin with, it is integral for children to learn to use money wisely. First off, there is no doubt that habits nurtured from an early age will accompany children for the remaining of their lives. Since formative years are the stage of life when kids obtain knowledge quickly and undergo cognitive development, it is apparent that children are more inquisitive and eager to explore new things. Therefore, when given parental guidance on using money, they tend to follow and remember better, which forms proper money management habits in the long run. Additionally, gaining financial understanding in childhood contributes to nourishing various vital qualities in children. This can be explained by the fact that should they be exposed to money, they can apprehend such hard work required to make that money. As a result, the chances are that they adopt gratitude towards their parents and become smart spendors in the future. However, as mentioned, educating children about managing money bears fruit provided the methods are used properly. Parents should focus on teaching their offspring about the value of money by rewarding them with a small amount of money for their finished tasks. Conversely, such ways like making them tight with money should be avoided since they can turn children into miserly and materialistic ones. In conclusion, for the aforementioned arguments, it is essential for parents to equip their offspring with money management skills but with proper methods.

The essay is definitely strong on the reasoning side. The writer fully explains his theory regarding teaching children about money management. The discussion is lacking development though since it does not provide any evidence to prove the theories and ideas of the writer. A review of the writing task will show that the writer is being asked to present examples to help illustrate his reasoning. So the essay is only half developed at this point. It cannot be given full C+C scores because of the lack of supporting discussion for the point of view provided. The conclusion is faulty as well since it neither presents 40 words representative of a summary conclusion. There should be at least 2 or 3 sentences that repeat the topic, the writer's opinion, and his supporting statement. While it may receive good LR and GRA marks, the missing elements as described above will prevent it from getting a passing score or gaining a grade higher than the lowest possible passing score.

Topic: ***Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill**.* ## To what extent do you agree or disagree? Essay: It is indisputable that health problems are one of the biggest concerns of the World Health Organization. While people argue that the local and national authorities should exceed investment in promoting a healthy lifestyle to detect diseases rather than the treatment of people who are suffering from illness. On the one hand, allocating money for encouraging a healthy lifestyle is a worldwide initiative for some reasons. There is an increased propensity for people to be caught up in the pressure of work and study as a result of neglecting their health. Due to their hectic schedule, they tend to hunch over the screen, coupled with keeping the same sitting posture which is the optimal cause of many life-threatening conditions such as obesity and eye-related diseases,...Therefore, it is extremely pivotal for government to invest money in opening more affordable leisure and sports centres, encouraging people through health awareness campaigns which could raise the general level of public health. On the other hand, despite the above mentioned ideas, I believe that the local authorities should prioritize expenditure on patient treatment. An unhealthy lifestyle is not only the rationale for becoming under the weather, the contaminated drinking water or poor sanitation is also detrimental to health. Moreover, failure to subsidize medicines or to invest in hospitals would certainly lead to many deaths which could have been avoided by timely treatment. Hospitals, for instance, serve a crucial function not only in surgery but also conducting vital research into the treatment of many serious diseases, such as cancer or virus corona. In conclusion, while promoting healthy living is important, treatment must have priority in health service spending.

The examiner will read the discussion instruction and read the provided essay. He will immediately discover that the writer has not followed the writing guideliness for the essay once he compares the opening paragraph with the original prompt. There is no reference to the WHO in the original so there was no need to use that as the basis of the restatement. He also did not provide the correct measured response as indicated by the writing instructions. These errors created an overall mistake in the original prompt representation. The fact that the required response format was not followed either, means the writer approached this essay with an overall prompt deviation. As such, the accuracy score of this essay will immediately be a failing score. The actual number of the score is unimportant at this point. All the writer needs to know is that the essay will not get a passing grade at the end of the assessment process. All because he proved that he cannot understand English instructions and he does not know how to follow writing instructions provided in English.

## university sports centre - present and future Task 1: The advance of an unknown university sports centre from the contemporary time to the future is illustrated in the two maps given. Overall, there will be several practical renovations taking place in the sports centre according to the plan with the most significant change which is being made in the area surrounding the present indoor zone of the centre. In greater detail, the area of the sports centre will be enlarged at the expense of eliminating two outdoor courts. Beside, the fitness centre which is arranged in the north of the 25-metre pool will be levelled up in terms of magnitude. A new sports hall will be opened up adjacent to the seating area. Regarding the others, a new sports hall will be opened up adjacent to the seating area. The two prospective dance studios will be introduced in the northeast corner of the centre. A new pool whose use is for recreation will be construced to the west. Moreover, the number of changing rooms will increase as the two other ones will be constructed in the corner of the centre. Finally, a new cafe will be added at the side of the southeast changing room, whereas a sports store will be opened up next to the southwest counterpart. * *

**ONE TASK AT A TIME.** The summary overview and trending statement is not very well developed. It has resulted in a confusing short information presentation that does not help the reader understand the information provided in the unseen image. It is a confusing paragraph that will not receive a passing GRA score based on the inability of the summary to clearly help the reader understand the specifics of the image. What type of image was presented? Was it an illustrative map? There are several types of maps. Could it have been an illustrative drawing rather than a map? What years are covered or being compared? Can the writer write in a more clarified manner that goes beyond compressed and long sentences? These questions represent the reasons why the essay is problematic and why it may not receive a passing score. The writer needs to develop his C+C skills in relation to GRA scoring. Otherwise, his ends up with these less than understandable reporting presentations. For this essay, a 4 paragraph presentation should have been used that properly explained the old layout, what changes are planned, and how these changes will affect the overall set up of the location in the future. So it should have: Par. 1: Summary + Trend Par. 2: Original description Par. 3: New description Par. 4: Analysis of how the overall changes affects the layout (Is it better? If so, why? Is it worse? Why?)

## electricity from different fuel sources The pie charts delineate the figures for electricity production from fuel sources in Australia and France, between 1980 and 2000. In short, coal took the lead for the electricity product in Australia while nuclear power was the main source in France. The amount of electricity by different fuel sources was not similar in both countries. According to the given pie charts, in Australia, the total electricity production was only 100 units; however, it doubled in the year 2000.There were 50 units and 20 units of electricity produced by coal and hydro power, respectively in 1980. Besides, the oil contributed to only 10 units of electricity. Then, the year 2000 witnessed a considerable increase in the usage of coal which accounted for 130 out of 170 units. Furthermore, it was shown that electricity production in France was apparent. At the beginning of the period, the dependency on coal denoted as 25 units, followed by a sharp decrease in 2000. In contrast, nuclear power became the primary source, holding 126 units. * * *Australia*

The essay is not fully analyzed, discussed, and presented in this reporting essay. The writer has not focused on the proper division of image information in his presentation paragraphs which causes undue confusion for the reader. Since the 3 pairs of images are no properly identified in the summary presentation nor the discussion body, there is no way that the reader will be able to smoothly follow the analysis presented. There is a clear lack of coherence and cohesiveness in the presentations as the image titles are needed as a part of the paragraphs in order to provide clarity in terms of information representation. It is suffice to say that the images were not properly compared and contrasted in this essay and will receive a less than stellar score.

## nitrogen oxide emission The given line chart provided comparison of the amount of nitrogen oxide released by diesel car, petrol car, lorries and buses. From an overall perspective, it is evident that buses and lorries are more pollutant than two remained cars. While diesel car and petrol car dispose the same amount of emission as the speed increase, the figure for buses and lorries fluctuate mildly. At the slowest level of pace, buses account for the highest amount of nitrogen oxide gas produced, at precisely 40 gam per kilometer. By contrast, lorries release nearly 33 gam per kilometer, which is slightly lower than buses but still much higher than other vehicles. The figure for diesel car and petrol car stands at approximately 7 g/k and 12g/k, respectively. With the speed increases from 10 to 130 kph, the nitrogen oxide waste of buses experiences an oscillation, with the amount of emission decreases to 22 g/k at 60 kph before goes up to 45 g/k at the maximum speed. Similarly, lorries saw a steadily fall in the emission when the speed increase to 90 kph, but bucks the trend with 7 g/k rise at 130 kmh. While the amount of diesel car emission slightly fell by 2 g/k at the fastest pace, the figure for petrol car witnesses a small increase to 13 g/k *

Never forget to analyze the timeline provided in the image. There is always a clue as to whether this is a continuing process / measurement, previously completed task, or past measurement consideration. In this case, where no dates or years are mentioned, it is safe to use the present tense reference seeing as how these could be considered a continuing or ongoing task. This is a slight GRA inaccuracy and a partial C+C misanalysis on the part of the writer. He chose to use the incorrect time reference this time. There will be LR deductions in addition to increase GRA deductions due to lack of clarity in a sentence. When he wrote: slowest level of pace he neglected to double check the meaning of the words level and pace. These are 2 different measurement references that cannot be used together due to the different measurement basis: level - having no part higher than another; having a flat or even surface. pace - a rate of activity, progress, growth, performance Therefore the reference should be "slowest pace" since it refers to the speed of the line graph presentation. Most of the problems the writer has are in reference to word usage, sentence structure, and how these relate to the clarity of the presentation. He must work on improving these areas next time.

## mobile users by age The given bar graph illustrates the proportion of citizens utilizing mobile in a nation by distinct age brackets between 1998 and 2000 Overall, the rate of mobile usage in the 16 to 50 years old was highest while that of people less than 15 was lowest during this given time. It is noticeable there was an increase in the proportion of mobile usage less than 15 and more than 50, but the opposite was true for remaining age groups. In 1998, 53% of mobile users were aged 16 to 30, which held the leading position. Meanwhile, the percentage of citizens utilizing mobile in the 31 to 50 age bracket was 36% higher than that of people over 50, at 4%. Followed by 2% of mobile users less than 15, standing at the lowest position. From that time onwards, while this number of mobile users less than 15 and from 16 to 30 years old stayed unchanged, the proportion of mobile usage in the 31 to 50 aged bracket underwent a slight decline of 37% in 2000. In addition, a minimal growth was recorded in the inhabitants more than 50 years old in 2000. *

Since there are several positions for a bar chart, the writer should be position specific about the image identifier. By being position specific, that means he needs to differentiate between a vertical and horizontal bar graph. This will help the reader get a better perspective of how the image was presented for analysis. He also forgot to identify how the measurements were procured for the survey (in percentage) as a part of the information summary. So the infomation short presentation will be deemed as incomplete. The overall problem the writer has is that he is focused on presenting the information as quickly as possible, without considering the clarity of the report and the connectivity between information comparisons. His tendency is to just get over with the information presentation, disregarding the clarity and comprehension requirements of the C+C scoring section. As such the overall essay is really confusing and difficult to follow for the average reader who, as implied by the reporting style, does not have a copy of the image to base the understanding of the analysis presentation on. With regards to the writing skills in this presentation, the writer has shown a limited ability when it comes to sentence formation, grammar range, and punctuation usage. He should try to present more advanced sentence structures and more variation when it comes to punctuation usage. There are other punctuation marks that can be used aside from a comma and a period. Using only those 2 punctuation marks tend to lead to lower GRA scores due to limited sentence styles.

***Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.*** ## Do Do you agree or disagree? It has been argued that the reduction of crime rate will be accomplished more effectively through more qualified education rather than prison sentences. I personally disagree with this statement as both methods play crucial roles in handling illegalities. On the one hand, it is reasonable/understandable to resolve the crime problem by sending criminals to prison. Firstly, prisons are places to keep dangerous criminals who certainly pose a serious threat to society such as murderers or terrorists. This will make these felons receive punishments for their heinous actions, ensuring the safety of innocent people. Secondly, severe prison sentences serve as a deterrent against unlawful acts. This is because lawbreakers have to confront tough struggles in jail, loss of freedom, and separation from their beloved ones. If criminals are obsessed with these physical and mental punishments, they may stop reoffending. On the other hand, the reasons why education would greatly contribute to crime reduction are varied. Education could heighten people's intellect and therefore form a civilized society. With access to better education services, citizens would be aware of the consequences of committing crimes which eventually leads to the decrease in crime rates. Furthermore, when given a chance to receive an education like vocational training, criminals could seek job opportunities after being released from prison. In fact, former inmates could encounter numerous obstacles after a long time of being isolated from society. Thus, the possession of certain qualifications assists inmates to earn a living by their own labor power, which would dispel any ideas of committing crimes. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both incarceration policies and better education have major roles in coping with crimes.

While the writer more than met the required word count to gain proper scoring consideration based on each scoring consideration, I am afraid that the writer has not come up with a passing score essay. Although he explained himself in an acceptable manner in the paragraphs, the fact that he misrepresented the original topic and did not provide the correct response format for the discussion are the reasons why the essay cannot be considered for a passing score. Please take note of the original topic presentation: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime The writer misunderstood the topic for discussion and presented it as: It has been argued that the reduction of crime rate will be accomplished more effectively through more qualified education rather than prison sentences. The correct restatement should have been: *Most parts of the world try to resolve criminal problems by placing offenders in prison. However, there is a growing trend that advocates for proper education as the better way to prevent crimes.* As for the writer's opinion, The original presentation requires a single supporting opinion for one of the two opinions. The question was never based on "To what extent" or "Discuss both opinions", which are the only writing instructions that allow for a comparison opinion presentation. So the writer failed to offer a single clear opinion on the topic. His opinion was not based on the proper response format. The start of the essay was already incorrect so the TA score will not be a passing one. Since the TA preliminary score is the foundation of the final overall score, the writer will not be able to meet the overall passing score consideration.

## oil production report The chart illustrates how much oil was produced per day from 2000 to 2004 in Nigeria, Chad, Congo and Somalia. Overall, there was an increase in the daily amount of oil extracted in Nigeria, Chad and Somalia examined, while a gradual decline in oil production was seen during the period. In addition, Congo generally produced the most oil among 4 countries examined, but it was surpassed by Nigeria in the last year of the period. Oil production in Cong started at 275 in 2000, after which it experienced a moderate decrease to 215 in 2003, before ending the period at 203 in 2004. Meanwhile, the figure for oil extraction in Nigeria fluctuated in the range from 2000 to 2002, reaching the highest amount of oil 213 in 2004. 0 barrels of oil was witnessed in Chad between 2000 and 2002, with a subsequent increase examined from 2002 onwards. Besides, the figure for oil production per day gradually grew and exported 50 barrels per day in 2004, which was the amount of oil production os Chad in the same year.

The summary overview is too short. It should be at least 3 sentences long. Never merge the information about the image type, references, measurement type, and enumerated coverage into a single sentence. That will create a problematic run-on sentence and show an inability to properly construct various sentence types, leading to immediate GRA score deductions. The trending statement is too long in this case. It should have a representation of only the high and low of the image measurements. This will be seen as a reporting paragraph instead and be scored again, in a reduced manner because of the improper trending statement format. Some of the information in this paragraph should have actually been provided in the summary overview rather than the trending statement. The student needs to learn proper information formatting per paragraph to fix his summary overview + trending statement presentation mistakes. Further GRA deductions, along with C+C reductions will be applied since the writer does not meet the academic 3 sentence requirement per paragraph. Any presentation with less than 3-5 sentences will always fail these sections as the writer does not properly develop his explanations based on proper simple, compound, and complex sentence presentations. Long sentences + short paragraphs = Failing Score

## CO2 emissions per person in 4 countries The line graph compares the average CO2 emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007 In general, Italy and Portugal saw significant growths in the average CO2 emission in metric tonnes per person over the 40-year period. In contrast, this figure decreased for the United Kingdom and Sweden. Portugal experienced the most dramatic changes in four countries. In 1967, Portugal and Italy were two countries having the least CO2 emission per person, at about 1 tonne and 4.2 tonnes respectively. Following that, these amounts increased gradually and reached around 5.8 tonnes and 7.8 tonnes from 1967 to 2007 However, in Sweden, the average CO2 emission per person grew considerably from about 8.8 tonnes to 10.2 tonnes between 1967 to 1977. Meanwhile, this number for the United Kingdom remained stable, around 11 tonnes. After that, the figure fell significantly, which declined from nearly 11 tonnes to 5.2 tonnes in 2007. Like Sweden, The UK also saw a dip of almost 1 tonne over the period 1977 to 2007

The summary overview is faulty for a number of reasons. First, the sentence is open ended since it does not have a full stop / period to signify the end of the explanation process. That will result in a severe preliminary GRA deduction. Second, the summary should be composed of at least 2-3 sentences. 3 being the most ideal since it will signify the one thought / idea per sentence requirement for the C+C and GRA scores. As far as the trending paragraph, the writer did not signify why Portugal witnessed the most dramatic change among the countries. That leaves a less than clear paragraph indicator in terms of C+C considerations. That will result in additional C+C deductions. A paragraph is always composed of at least 3 sentences, when the presentation is only composed of 2 sentences, both the GRA and C+C scores will receive deductions due to improper sentence and paragraph formatting. Overall, this is a good first effort. The mistakes are to be expected. That said, I expect that the writer will alter his writing style and avoid the errors mentioned here going forward to help increase his scoring potential and improve his writing style in relation to scoring considerations.

## IELTS TASK 1 - charts report The pie charts illustrate the percentage of age groups in the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050. Overall, the percentages of elderly in both countries are expected to increase, while the proportion of people from 0 to 59 years old is calculated to decrease. Firstly, Yemen had a very young population with half of its population being 0 to 14 years old in 2000. While the elderly only occupied 3.6% and people from 15 to 59 years old made up 46.3%. In the next 50 years, there is an expected upward trend for the proportion of people over 60 years old and from 15 to 59. The age group from 0 to 14 is predicted to decrease significantly by 13.1% Secondly, Italy had a much older population with the elderly constituting 24.1% and will nearly double in the future. The age group from 15 to 59 will experience a tremendous decline from 61.6% to 46.2%. People from 0 to 14 made up only a small proportion of Italy's population and are projected to decrease by 2.8%. *

The first sentence of the summary overview is going to receive a failing score for being almost a 100 % cut and paste of the original presentation. It has not changed even a little to convince the examiner that the writer redeveloped the original information his was provided with. It is still confusing because it kept to the general explanation. The summary overview should be longer and represented in at least 3 sentences since it has to: - Identify the image - Identify the number of images - Identify the image pairings - Identify the measurement type All before presenting the combined trending statement as the 5th sentence in the paragraph. While this 3 paragraph essay is acceptable, the examiner might look for a 4th paragraph, since this is a 4 image comparison discussion. An extended discussion is optional but would really help the final score if the writer can develop a 4th comparison paragraph that looks at certain similarities between the 2 paired images. The correct comparative discussion would have paired the 2 images from each year for comparison. That means, 2000 v. 2000 and 2050 v. 2050 before a 2000 v. 2050 comparison per image pair.

## activities in Australia in 2003 The two bar charts compare the proportions of 5 to 14-year-old participants of both genders in cultural activities and sports in Australia in 2003. Overall, while significantly more males than females took part in sports, most cultural activities were more popular among girls than boys except playing musical instruments. In this year, it can be seen that sports was common with the majority of boys (70%), while just over a half of the girls enjoyed playing sports. In respect of cultural activities, a very small number of girls engaged in singing and drama activities account for 5% for each one, yet that number of boys were even approximately lower than 2%. The percentage of girls playing musical instruments was threefold higher than the former and the figures for males joining in this activity was three out of two compared with female rate. Dancing was considered as the most preferable activity participated by girls at a quarter. In contrast, this proportion of boys was a tiny minority with only about 2%. *

While the essay does contain more than enough words to be given proper scoring consideration, the problem that the writer has with thought presentation through sentence formation will cause major C+C and GRA deductions for this essay. Both of which could very well result in a failing score for the essay. For starters, the writer creates constant confusion in his writing due to his long sentences which combine information in it when it should have been divided into at least 2 sentence presentations. He appears to not be familiar with the rules governing sentence presentations. That is, every sentence must reflect one clear idea and explanation instead of multiple idea explanations / presentations. Each paragraph will only qualify for proper scoring when there are at least 3 sentences in every paragraph, with the summary overview + trending statement combined into one paragraph at the start of the essay. In this case, the word count did not help the score because of the lack of proper paragraph formatting and a need for clearer explanations. He has up to 200 words to work with, he should use the count to his advantage. In a task 1 essay, shorter but informative sentences, combined with individualized data presentation for each image receive more scoring considerations. Since this is a 2 image presentation, a 4 paragraph report should have been used reflective of 2 individual reporting sections and 1 comparision discussion paragraph.

***Subject: Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.*** ## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Answer: Some people hold conflicting views about paying taxes by parents those children study at private schools. While a number of people reckon that they are worth being deducted taxes, I completely disagree with the aforementioned point. There are various compelling reasons why governments should not reduce tax liability to parents of children enrolling in private schools. Firstly, it would be difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax deduction for wealthy families. This kind of work requires more public staff to manage and thus the state budgets might be drained by an unnecessary expenditure. Secondly, citizens invariably pay a certain amount of tax for public services that they may not use. For example, most taxpayers are fortunate enough not to have a call in an emergency situation to the police or the hospital at any time in their lives, but they would not expect a tax discount for this. In my opinion, I firmly hold the view that families of children educated in non-public institutions should delightfully take the blame for paying taxes to support public schools. The first reason is that these people can substantially contribute to build an equal education system for everyone regardless their circumstances. A great number of poorer children might take opportunities to improve background due to being accessed to the high quality education as well as children from rich families. Additionally, through tax obligations, wealthy people might foster their economic background. Indeed, businesses owned by rich families might flourish as a well-funded education system allows to generate well-trained workforce to these enterprises. In conclusion, while many people think that any financial reduction for families sending their children to private schools is essential, I believe that it should be not considered.

The opening paraphrase is missing one reference. Since there are 2 reference points in the original prompt, the interpretation should also include 2 sentences restating each public opinion. The third sentence reference should be the writer's opinion in support or against one of the 2 idea presentations. As such, the first paragraph has not met the appropriate task accuracy requirements even as it does present an acceptable writer's opinion. It is a bit confusing due to the missing opinion. Now, the first opinion explanation is on point in its discussion. It is strong in reference and actually shows the writer can think logically in the English language. The problem, is that the same cannot be said for the second opinion explanation. I was confused as to what was meant by should delightfully take the blame for paying taxes to support public schools. Why should they be happy to take the blame? The blame for what? I believe that the writer was a bit confused by his transliteration from Vietnamese to English in this case. Did he perhaps mean "...should delightfully pay for taxes to support public schools" ? That statement type would seem to better align itself with the rest of the paragraph. This lack of clarity in the paragraph could very well garner failing preliminary scores in the GRA and C+C sections. 40 words is the minimum word requirement for the concluding summary. It should be composed of at least 2 sentences as well and function in reverse paraphrase mode. Since the writer did not achieve that in the concluding statement, that paragraph will have to be given a failing score as well.

***Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. ## Discuss both views and state your opinion.*** Essay: Recently, another country is chosen to organize a national competition of sport, which brings a lot of profits for this nation. A school of thought holds that an appointed host gives many negative effects on the event. This essay will discuss both views before drawing a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, becoming a host of national sports events is an honor for one country, the reason for this is that many audiences all over the world will realize this nation through sports competitions. Plenty of countries nowadays endeavor to attract organizers to be selected to appoint a host. For example, Cambodia attempted to invest in building many affordable courses for sports in order to appeal to SEA games' organizers. In addition, an advantage for the host is their players easily adapted to the game when the events take place, thereby winning with less trouble. Therefore, hosting a sports event will get more benefits than other countries. On the other hand, the difficulty of a host is responsibility. Some countries just concentrate on the formal appearance of events but they do not focus on the quality of organizing the competition. As a result, various referees cannot have enough standards to assess some difficult fouls in another match. Furthermore, many native players tend to cheat in the game like using dopping because they think that the host will assure safety for their mistake. Consequently, numerous countries are not appreciated by audiences due to their dishonesty in the event. To conclude, while appointing a host is the glory of one country, putting responsibility in the highest position is vital. It is recommended for the host country should be sincere in international sports events.

There is an error in the approach of the writer to the given discussion. He has decided to disregard the "international sports events" reference in favor of his own "national sports events". This will definitely make the essay fail in the preliminary task scoring because the discussion foundation is incorrect even as the topic remains the same. In addition, the writer also does not restate the prompt topic as expected, creating a confusing representation of the original, which means this essay has already received an overall failing score even before the rest of the essay considerations have received marks. The final writing approach error is that rather than offering an opinion, the writer decided to offer a conclusion. A decision that he feels the reader should accept, which was not the original writing instruction for the writer's opinion section. So the writer has made mistake after mistake in the first paragraph, which continued in his discussion paragraphs. Nothing about the writing of this error is correct nor worth a passing score. I do not see the need to review this essay beyond the prompt restatement + writer's opinion at this point since the essay does not have a passing score chance anyway.

***These days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work.*** ## What could be the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (IELTS WRITING TASK 2) In this modern era, more and more men are in charge of household chores while their partners earn family income. This essay will elucidate the causes of this trend. Furthermore, from my perspective, this is overall a negative trend. To commence with, there are two major reasons for the stay-at-home father trend. The first reason worth mentioning is the constant efforts of women and society to change old-fashioned thinking. To be more specific, in the past, men were the ones who made the house while women made the house. However, thanks to feminism and advancements in education, women nowadays can serve in every field even in ones that used to be dominated by men namely the military, politics, and manufacturing. Secondly, with the popularity of online work and the advent of technology, men may choose to stay at home and spend more time on their families and housework. As a result, they can either make money to nurture their families or have quality time with their children. From my point of view, this trend may have adverse effects on not only children but also the whole family. The first demerit is that children will be neglected for the lack of adequate love and care from their mothers. It is common knowledge that women have natural instincts to provide their children with comfort and care. However, men may struggle to meet the needs of their children either in terms of patience or emotional support. Consequently, a child's growing up will be affected in one way or another. The second disadvantage is that the quality of life of women and their families might be influenced by financial burdens. For example, in Hanoi, each person may earn 8 million dongs a month on average. Hence, women who are the sole breadwinner may find it hard to raise their families while the prices of oil, tuition fees, and food are rising at an unprecedented rate. In this way, the trend might lead to various consequences for the family. All the information provided creates a concrete foundation that because of changes in thinking and advancements of women, fathers tend to resign from the breadwinner role to take care of their family and their spouses go out to make money. For these reasons, I believe this would be a negative trend if women do not share the duties of bringing up their children with their husbands and women are the sole breadwinners in their families.

Since the term "partner" is gender neutral, and the original reference is gender specific, the writer should use a gender specific alternate word as well. The term "partner" may be used but with the specific gender mention included due to the existence of same sex marriages, which could confuse the reader. So "female partner" or "female spouse" would be most acceptable in this case. Do it just to make sure the LR scoring considerations are properly met and that the C+C reference will not be altered. I am puzzled as to why the writer did not clearly respond the the provided questions. His direct response to both would have been the basis for his opinion and thesis presentation. A move that would have boosted his preliminary TA score. Such score boosts can only be achieved early on with the proper development of the thesis presentation. Doing so bring the clarity of the writer's opinion and the reasons for it immediately into focus. Resulting in an impressive summary discussion presentation. What is the reason for the negative belief? The opinion is not clearly pre-stated. The actual discussions are impressive but extremely long. The writer has a tendency to use sentence fillers rather than actual information. The essay need not be too long. Using fillers does not improve the scoring consideration and could even result in lower scores because the paragraph will take too long to get to the point and lack in clarity due to the focus on an increased word count.

## the use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society It is argued that the increase of technology, especially social media, is becoming the replacement for directly communication all over the world. This essay will give the reason why the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will demonstrate that the ability to communicate irrespective of geographia boundaries and getting up-to-date information, followed by an analysis of how the prime disadvantage namely losing social skill is not valid. Social media helps member of public with communication from far distance. In the internationalization world, the number of global citizen who live in a different country is increasing dramatically. Therefore, remaining contact with friends and relatives is becoming a problem, which can be solved by social media. For example, an app like Facebook or Skype definitely do wonders for human life via connecting different parts of the world through the Internet. Furthermore, technology surely come into useful since it can be a means of communication, which provided us with latest information. Thanks to the Internet, we can have an insight about the world as well as the things that happened around us. Take the devastation at Iteawon, Seoul this Halloween as an example, via the support of social media, the victim's family will have a better grasp about the situation and urgently contact with their relatives, who are living in Korean. In the other hand, those opposed to this reckon that social media is the prime reason for losing social skills as we are not directly interact with people. However, there is actually no evidence to support this view and skills related to social has remained unchanged. Moreover, some can acquiring more skills than ever before. For instance, children attending online lessons instead of going to school can learn about the communication skill through several activities conducted by the teacher as well as team work. Moreover, this increase the likelihood that they will master the Information Technology skill, which has been proven vital for those who live in a develop world. On balance, the fact that technology brings people the opportunities to stay in touch with others despite the great distance and provides the society with latest news clearly outweigh the argument that this impairs their social skills.

The writer definitely understood the writing requirements and the point of view to be provided. However, the question is "Do YOU" not "Does the essay". Since the essay is incapable of writing itself and is reliant on the point of view, opinion, and explanation of the writer, he should take his cue as to the pronoun usage and general representation to be used in writing. There is a need to predominantly use the first person pronoun in the explanations. From the writer's opinion to the explanation paragraphs, these should be flooded with "me, myself, and I" references to clearly indicate the writer's opinion as required. Yes, the fact that the writer is being asked "Do you think" means he should show that he clearly supports this opinion presentation since a general point of view is not required. So the writer's restatement was good but it would fail to get a passing score in terms of writer's opinion presentation. it lacked proper sentence referencing and was too wordy to be clear enough in its representation of opinions. There is no "on the other hand" and "on the balance" discussion for this essay. Mainly because it is requiring a direct supporting response to a single opinion question. Therefore, the lack of clarity on the part of writer and his prompt deviation will result in a failing score. There is a prompt deviation because the original question was: *DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?* Therefore, there was no need to explain: *The essay will demonstrate that the ability to communicate ... skill is not valid.* Notice how the question was only an A v. D response but the writer decided to explain how a particular skill reference is not valid? That is the prompt deviation that will result in a failing score because the writer did not answer the question being asked. He did not follow the writing instructions. His ability to understand English instructions are clearly non-existent, resulting in the incorrect response.

## the growth of urban population The given bar chart depicts the increase in proportion of people living in urban in Africa, Asia, Caribbean and the whole world in the year 1950, 2000 and gives prediction for the year 2030. Overall, the growth of population in all given area rose dramatically from 1950 to 2000 and is expected to increase in 2030. In addition, the number of Caribbean's residents who stayed in the cities accounted for the highest percentage, while the figure for Africa was the lowest. In 1950, there was more than 40% of population in Caribbean lived in metropolitan area, while the proportion of urban African and Asian was enormously low, at 11% and 14% respectively. By contrast, the figure for the whole world was 30%, slightly lower than Caribbean but far higher than other areas. After five decades, Caribbean experienced a significant increase in the number of urban citizens to 70% in 2000, compared to 48% of the whole world. It was also noticeable that the percentage of Africa and Asia inhabitants living in urban areas went up dramatically, at nearly 38% for each. Over the next 30 years, four given areas are expected to continue the upward trend. Caribbean urban population is predicted to be the highest, with 80%, 20% higher than the figure for the whole world. Additionally, there are predictions of an increase in the number of Africa and Asia metropolitan residents, at 51% and 57% respectively. *

The writer continues to show a problem with developing individual thought presentations for his sentences. For some reason, he believes that writing run-on sentences and combined idea sentences will increase his overall score. That will do the exact opposite because the writing becomes confusing, difficult to follow, remember, and understand. There needs to be a target idea for every sentence. That means, compressing the information will not achieve the target C+C and GRA scores. Until he learns to use the sentence formats properly in every paragraph, the C+C and GRA problems will continue to lower his final score. He does a good job of understanding the essay. I will praise him for that. The problem is in the way he transfers that information to his readers. He cannot expect to get a strong score based on the major scoring sections if he continues to use the incorrect sentence and paragraph formats for his reports. He may refer to the previous reviews I left in his prior essays to get a clearer idea of the continuing errors in his writing.

## The line chart illustrates the debris created by three companies from 2000 to 2015. It is clear that there has been a dramatic change in the amount of waste across all three companies. Between 2000 and 2015, the amount of waste produced by companies A and B decreased, while in contrast, that produced by company C significantly increased. In 2000, the waste output of company A was 12 tonnes, which was three times as much as that of company C. At the same time, company B created about 8 tonnes, which was in the middle of companies A and B. In the next five years, the waste production of company A declined slightly from 12 to 11, while the amount of waste produced by companies B and C witnessed a sharp rise. From 2005 to 2015, there was a rapid decrease in the waste output of companies A and B. On the contrary, company C produced much more waste production in this period. In 2015, the waste output created by company C rose rapidly, while the amount of waste produced by companies A and B went down significantly. *

The student is not familiar enough with the English language to realize that there is a tremendous amount of word meaning difference between waste and debris: Waste - trash, rubbish, discard, unusuable residue Debris - the remains of anything broken down or destroyed; ruins; rubble As such, the writer will be understood to have misinterpreted the topic as provided in the image. He must remember that word usage is heavily scored under the LR section. Therefore, he must use words based on accurate meaning rather than only synonym reference. Basing word usage on synonym usage alone could result in word usage errors such as this one. The writer might also want to further develop his sentence structuring skills to include the usage of more varied punctuation marks to increase his GRA score. That is limited in this case by the interchangeable use of a comma and period only. This also reflects the lack of proper sentence variation in the presentation. Good work on the reporting paragraphs though. The information is clear and easily understandable. Unfortunately, just having a good C+C score will not increase the overall / final score of the data analysis presentation.

***Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.*** ## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Opinions are divided on whether foreign tourists should behave in accordance with local culture or the native country should embrace other cultures. Although adapting local lifestyle could help people gain enormously, I think that cultural diversity should be prioritized. On the one hand, many people claim that complying with local customs and behaviour may generate more significant benefits. To begin with, visitors can broaden their knowledge about the world. This is because of their precious opportunities to immerse themselves in exotic practices of native residents. Besides, it could help people avoid misunderstandings or inappropriate behaviors. For example, in Vietnam that people must not wear revealing clothes in places of worship because of disrespect, which is relatively familiar to Western visitors. On the other hand, it is believed that multicultural environment brings a wide range of advantages to both host country and its residents. By embracing new cultures, the country could gain friendly and tolerant impression. As a result, it may be offered a prospect of increasing foreign tourists, thereby boosting the national economy. Meanwhile, cultural differences could lead to innovation, which benefits the local. Accordingly, exposure to modern thoughts may result in new customs being adopted and backward ones being abandoned. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have its merit. However, it seems to me that it would be more advantageous if nonnative travelers follow their own cultures.

The student is merely repeating the same errors using different prompt topics. This is his 3rd essay posted here that does not show any signs of improvement as the same errors keep coming up, just with different discussion topics. As I have previously given him improvement advice and instructions (in his first ever post at this forum), based upon my teaching style, that helps all the students who listen to and learn from me, I can sense that he does not receive my criticism constructively nor does he wish to consider my advice for his improvement. Which is why I am surprised he would continue to participate in this forum considering he does not regard my advice important enough to use for his writing improvement. Since he does not wish to learn from me, he may leave this forum with my best wishes. If he believes I should be reviewing his work based on his actual tutor's teaching style, he has another thing coming. I cannot review essays and give improvement advice based on the teaching style of someone else. He should have that tutor review his work and advice him on improvements instead. He cannot learn from 2 different teachers for the same test. He will only succeed in failing the test if he confuses himself too much due to conflicting writing lessons.

***Children should be strictly controlled, this asserts by some parents and teachers. Others disagree.*** ## Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Opinions are divided on whether some parents and teachers should strictly manage children. While many people argue that it could be better to put children under control, I myself believe that it is essential for children to behave without regulation. Supporters of this suppose that the supervision of parents and teachers may be beneficial for their children. They could provide children with proper educational methods and good orientation. This is because they are not only richly experienced but also well-qualified. Therefore, children could be prevented from bad habits as well as meet the standards of behavior. For example, they may not cheat in exam as being learned lessons about honesty from adults. On the other hand, their control may trigger substantial drawbacks on children. To begin with, parents and teachers tend to cope with the prospect of their children being unconfident and passive in their work and life due to being over dependent on others. As a consequence, they could never go out of their comfort zone and obtain crowning achievement. In addition, negative reactions can be provoked when children are not allowed to do what they desire. In the long run, they could develop anti-social behaviours such as violence, alcohol abuse, bullying and so on. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have its merit. However, from the above analysis, it seems to me that it will be better if children are not under supervision of parents and teachers.

It is difficult to decide where to begin with the review of this failing score essay. Do I start with how the prompt restatement is incorrect and incomplete? Maybe I should start from the incorrect response format? Or perhaps the way the writer does not properly represent his personal opinion / point of view in the essay? Where do I start? I guess simply stating the errors as I did in this paragraph would be one way to kick this off. He can easily spot these errors and correct them based on the original prompt discussion presentation. How can I offer advice to a student who did not listen to the first set of improvements that I suggested he makes to improve his writing for this type of prompt the first time? Perhaps he has another tutor who is teaching him how to write his essays? Which is why he completely disregarded the first set of advice I gave him to help him better address this prompt format. In which case, I cannot help him because he is getting confused by the two different writing styles being taught to him. It is not that I am a bad adviser, it is that the student is confusing himself by using too many teachers.

## Children today play very violent games. ***This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?*** It is argued that the high number of violence and crime is due to violent games played by kids nowadays. This essay totally agrees with this statement. I believe that children's behavior and providing care by the parents play an important role in this problem. Firstly, playing games at an early age could constitute their behavior. The fact that children learn by what they see and they will mimic that action without thinking about its consequences, this is called "instinct". Therefore, letting kids play violent games could distort their perception and could push them into delusion about violence such as killing, murder, and shooting,... According to BBC, a renowned television program, it is approximately 55% of the number of crimes last year derived from people who think they were playing violent games in real life. Secondly, it is vital that parents should spend more time with their children. Living in the metropolis is harsh, it makes people spend more time earning money rather than playing with their kids. As a result, parents often let the kids play games to entertain and find happiness with their friends. In the long run, they will adapt to this and might be addicted to playing games; it will become one of their hobbies. There is a lesson that prevention is better than cure, if parents play with their children and take care of them more often, the children will not have the chance to do wrong things. In conclusion, the number of violence and crime in most metropolis of the world increases because of letting children play violent games too early and failure to proving care from their parents.

There is a problem with the stand of the writer in this essay in that he changed the focus of the essay from video games to the responsibility of parents when it comes to providing care for their children. That should not happen in an opinion essay of this sort. Why? The discussion focus is clearly indicated in the original statement. It should never deviate from 2 reasons based upon: CHILDREN TODAY PLAY VERY VIOLENT GAMES. Nowhere in the prompt do they ask if the parents have a responsibility in this scenario. Only violent video games are to blame for: for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. These are the 2 topics that should be discussed over 2 reasoning paragraphs. The first reasoning paragraph should cover the reasons why children play violent video games. The second, should explain how the video games result in real world violence from the influence of GTA on car theft and copycat attacks on people using MMA or wrestling video games as a basis. The overall essay does not respond to the task as required. It is a failing score essay due to the prompt deviation and lack of relevant discussion points. This is too bad since the word count of the essay was just perfect for high scoring consideration. Unfortunately, misread the prompt discussion instruction and the essay will definitely receive a failing score.

## percentage of people visit to gym 1990 to 2010 The line chart shows the proportion of people going to gym in different groups of ages in Europe from 1990 to 2010. Overall, the number of European people spending time on gym increased gradually over the period of 20 years. However, there was a much higher percentage of young people went to gym than ones in group of 45 and over. In 1990, under 10% of adults in Europe took part in gym activities, with approximately 10% of people from 25 to 34, 9% of people from 18 to 24, 6% of 35-44 group and only 4% of people over 45. Over the next eight years, while the number of people visiting gym in the group of 35-44 and over 45 saw a slight rose, at 12% and 9% respectively, the figure for two younger ones increased sharply to 28% each. By 2010, the figure for people aging from 18 to 24 had steadily gone up to nearly 60%, while proportion of adults in 25-34 group had risen to 50%. In contrast, the figure for those in 35-44 and above 45 experienced a significantly rise, at 30% and 20% respectively. *

A text composed of 190 words will find itself in a good position to receive positive scoring considerations based on the rubic requirements. The writer also need to be careful though because the number of words can also go the opposite way and force him to make avoidable grammar errors. The text did prove to be the shortcoming of this informative presentation. The sentence structures are incorrect and the punctuation usage is severely limited. Both problems will lead to a lowering of the GRA score due to limited punctuation usage and run-on sentence usage. Each paragraph should be at least 3 sentences long for starters, but no more than 5 sentences towards the end of the paragraph. This is to allow for the full and proper explanation development of the reporting paragraphs. There is a slight information error in the trending statement. This is supposed to be a general reference measurement sentence / paragraph so specific references such as age groups should not be mentioned at this point. Use a vague reference next time. It would also help if the writer enumerated the information included in the image so that the quick reference guide will be complete when reading it in short form.

## extracurricular activities positive effect to students In this day and age, students not only acquire knowledge at school but also participate in extracurricular activities, which enables them to pursue their hobbies. In this essay, I will discuss the benefits of extracurricular activities to secondary school students. To begin with, extracurricular activities are chances for pupils to broaden their minds about social things, besides subjects and theoretical lessons. Sitting in the class is likely to cause boredom, lack of interest, and applications of that subject in reality. For instance, a field trip encourages students to make use of what they have learned from educators. Furthermore, students can also gain practical experiences, soft skills, interpersonal skills under their belt. One widely accepted advantage of learning outdoors is that pupils feel at ease during the time they input the knowledge. A classic example is that in History, students should make their way to relics, historic places, or in Biology, they could pay a visit to the rainforests, organic farms. On the other hand , nowadays, not only academic transcripts that vital but also the involvement of pupils in social work. Students are under pressure because there are high standards for them from there parents, instructors. Certificates awarded for enrolling in the campaigns, projects are what student these days are seeking for. The certificates show the abilities in different fields, students's passion, enthusiasm. This is in highly-demand in today modern world as everyone tries to become a global citizen. For example, at prestigious universities such as Havard, Stanford, Oxford,.. the authority assesses students profiles to have a look at their qualifications, degrees. It would be preferred if the students earn high scores on SAT, ACT or even have music certificates like Trinity, Ameb. In conclusion, I strongly believe that extracurricular activities have many positive effect to students. Schools should involve more activities in the curricula since it inevitably play a great role in students's studying.

The student has not understood the meaning of an extra curricular activity. He has focused incorrectly on outside learning activities as covered by school curriculum such as field trips and other types of certification. All of which fall under academic learning, regardless of location. An extra curricular activity is something that the student does for enjoyment that does not necessarily include formal learning as discussed in this essay. Examples of extra curricular activities are clubs, athletics, or hobbies. These are done outside of the school curriculum and are participated in during off school hourse such as weekends, holidays, or after school. Another term for extra curricular activities would be after school activities or any activity the person participates in that does not include any sort of school supervision or learning slant. Based on this definition of extra curricular activities, the examiner will immediately understand that the writer did not understand the true meaning of the word. The writer had a different concept of the word meaning that does not apply to the discussion. Therefore, there will no choice on the examiner's part but to give a failing score to this essay due to an irrelevant discussion presentation.

## changes in the birth rates - China vs USA The given line graph illustrates data regarding how the rates of birth in China and the USA fluctuated from 1920 to 2000. Overall, while both nations witnessed a general downward trend, the USA's birth proportion was slightly higher than that of China over the provided period. In terms of the natality rate of America, although commencing at above 10% in 1920, the fertility percentage in this country took a dramatic plunge, hitting a low point at around 5% in 1945, then bouncing back to 15% for the following five years, at which point, the proportion showed a gradual decrease to roughly 7% in 2000. Likewise, the Chinese counterpart underwent a comparatively similar pattern. Particularly, the fertility rate of China started at 10% in 1920, then fluctuated to 15% in 1935 before declining sharply to a plateau from 1940 to 1945. It was at this time that the volume demonstrated significant growth, reaching a peak of 20% in 1950. Since then, it fell steadily to approximately 3% in 2000. *

The summary overview is too short. The summary overview should be at least 3 sentences long. That means the paragraph should refer to: Sentence 1: Type of image Sentence 2: Image reference Sentence 3: Measurement type used The trending summary should also be at least 3 sentences long if indicated as a stand alone paragraph. That is done when explaining a 2 or 3 image trend. In instances where that is not possible, the single trending sentence should be combined into the summary overview as sentence 4. This is done to help the paragraphs meet the academic requirement of 3-5 sentences per presentation section. A major examination of the GRA skills of the writer will be done by the examiner for this essay. The reason being that he does not complete paragraph presentations, only run-on sentences. Run-on sentences will result in an overall failing score because the information presentation is too compressed and leads to a confusing explanation. The writer also shows limited sentence structuring abilities, a lack of punctuation usage knowledge, and an inability to clearly explain his thoughts to the reader. These are the main reasons why, even though the writing meets the minimum word requirements, it will not receive a passing score.

## **Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to success** . *What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?* In these modern days, children are the one who are hoped to be successful by parents so parents have to push hard on their children. In this essay, I will first explain the reason for doing this and secondly will evaluate if this can lead to a good development. There are various causes to put pressure on children, yet two of them will be explained. At the begining, in the young ages, youngsters often cannot focus on their main work, such as studying, and can easily get distracted by any games. The Scientists have stated that there are a numerous rate children who choose playing rather than studying. So that parents have to put their eyes on their children to make sure that kids will not get distracted. Furthermore, succeed is the only thing people fight for, the same as the caregivers, they want their youngsters to have the good position in society. For example, Asian parents will take their kids to many academic centers to learn at extra classes, thus they win with flying colors and be a good leader. Therefore, children have more pressure by their parents. Many people believe this prespective lead to a positive development because ancientors have once said pressure can make a diamond. For instance, if a young child is put enough pressure by his caregivers, definitely oneday that child will have a lot of social positions. As a result, not only the child prouds of himself or herself but also he or she become the good example for many people. In conclusion, as fas as I concern, chidren can be in their better version within the parents' pressure and this sould be encouraged more. I suggest parents should put pressure on their children in the right method so that advoided children being stressed.

The first paragraph is the writer's restatement and opnion presentation. This is based on the original discussion directive. It is a direct restatement of the original topic. It should not included writer's opinion in the opening presentation. In this instance, the writer's opinion children are the one who are hoped to be successful by parents should not be a part of the restatement. It can however, be integrated into the direct response for the writer's opinion. The writer's opinion should directly respond to the questions being asked by presenting a summarized form of his reasoning paragraphs. That means, the writer should not restate the discussion instructions because he will not receive a TA score for that. The TA score is based at the start on the writer's direct responses to the provided questions. Known as the thesis statement, it helps establish the discussion path of the essay in the succeeding paragraphs. The reasoning paragraph division is incorrect in this presentation. While the second paragraph or first reasoning paragraph establishes the reasons behind the pressure and equally establishes the evidence for this claim, The positive or negative opinion was not clearly explained in the next paragraph as expected. Rather, the writer incorrectly used it as a concluding statement for the essay, which would lead to an automatic failing score. The automatic failing score will be due to the lack of proper summarized conclusion based on the preceding discussion. The positive or negative opinion should have been a stand alone third paragraph or second reasoning paragraph because it requires a completely developed discussion and evidence presentation similar to the causes paragraph. This is only a 4 paragraph discussion based on the provided discussion topics. The questions will always dictate the number of reasoning paragraphs, which will range between 2 - 3 paragraphs. The rule of thumb is: 1 question = 2 reasoning paragraphs 2 questions = 2 reasoning paragraphs 3 questions = 3 reasoning paragraphs An additional error in the concluding statement is that the writer indicated a possible solution or suggestion to the situation. This is a statement that is not a part of the discussion development instruction. It led to a prompt change as it is an additional topic. Additionally, it left the essay without a proper concluding summary presentation. The lack of a proper summary conclusion will always result in a failing score for the essay.