PressReader - Ilanga langeSonto: 2017-11-12 - BHEKI NDLOVANAsekukhona omunye umuntu wesithathu phakathi kwenu obaluleke kakhulu okufanele nimcabangele njalo. Abanye baze basho ukuthi “akekho umuntu obaluleke ukwedlula umntanami.”Ongoti bathi abanye ophathina baye bakuthole kunzima ukufika komntwana ofike athathe indawo, abe ngungqa phambili. Omunye uphathina uye avukwe yisikhwele azibone engathi yena akasanakiwe, kungcine sekunokugqubuzana.Imvamisa abesilisa bazibona sengathi abanakiwe kodwa owesifazane usegxile kakhulu kusana lwakhe. Nabesifazane kuyenzeka bazibone sengathi bona abasanakiwe, kodwa wonke umuntu usebheke usana nje.Ngokwe-nct, abanye besifazane bavele bazibone sengathi umsebenzi wabo sekuwukunakekela umntwana nje, bamgeze, bamuphe ukudla, noma bamshintshe inabukeni. Kuthiwa-ke kuyasiza ukubambisana ekunakekeleni umntwana.XOXANI NGOKUKHULISA UMNTWANAUkushayisana ngesinye isikhathi kubikwa ukuthi kungadalwa wukuthi omunye umzali azintshele ukuthi wazi kangcono kunomunye mayelana nokunakekelwa komntwana.Kuvamisile ukuzwa abazali bexabana omunye aze athi “uyazi wena kawukwazi ukuphatha kahle ingane, uyahluleka wukunakekela umntwana.”Ukuze zingabi khona izingxabano ezingadalwa wukuthi omunye uzibona ebukelwa phansi - ongoti bathi kufanele nibonisane, uma kunendlela oyibona ingcono yokwenza okuthile, xoxa kahle nophathina wakho nibonisane, ungabe usuzenza ungqeqe.Ngokwenct, kungaba noshintsho empilweni yenu yezocansi ngemuva kokuthola umntwana. Kubikwa ukuthi omunye umuntu, ikakhulukazi wesifazane kungenzeka angabi nawo umdlandla noma angalulangazeleli ucansi isikhathi eside. Kusemqoka ukuba nibekezelelane, noma nithole enye indlela nje yokujabulisana.Kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano, ukuxhumana ngendlela eyiyo kusemqoka. Uma kunokungaboni ngaso linye noma ukushayisana, zinikeni isikhathi nixoxe ngaleyo nto endala ukungezwani. Lalelanani, nizame ukuqonda ukuthi omunye ubona kanjani. Kugwemeni ukugxekana.Kubikwa ukuthi igcindezi elandela ngemuva kokuthola umntwana ( postnatal depression - PND) iba nomthelela omkhulu ebudlelwaneni. Uma ucabanga ukuthi wena noma uphathina wakho uphethwe yingcindezi, sekanani, nifune usizo.ISIKHATHI NDAWONYEKusemqoka ukuba uzinakekele wena njengomzali nokuba ninakekelane nobabili njengezithandani. Uma ujabule empilweni, maningi amathuba okuba ngumzali okhululekile. Zinikeni isikhathi senu njengezithandani niwotawotane nje, kuvuseleleke uthando lwenu. Zikhipheni, noma uzikhiphe wedwa, noma nabangani bakho ushaywe ngumoya.*Ulwazi lucashunwe kwinct.
