PressReader - Ilanga langeSonto: 2017-08-27 - EZOTHANDO:KUYIQINISO elingephikwe ukuthi baningi abantu abahleli ebudlelwaneni bothando obungalungile, obungenampilo. Abanye bahleli ngoba besaba ukuphuma kanti abanye bahleli ngoba bengaboni ukuthi bahlalele imbudane.Ngokusho kwewomen’s Centre of Greater Lansing, emichigan, e-united States of America, ziye zibe khona izinkomba zobudlelwano obungalungile kodwa abanye abantu bangakwazi ukusheshe baziqaphele.Bathi ubudlelwano obuhle buhamba nokuhloniphana kanjalo nokuphathana ngendlela elinganayo. Bobabili abantu abasebudlelwaneni kufanele bakwazi ukuzwakalisa imizwa yabo, yimicabango nemibono ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthi bangase bazithole besenkingeni.Imibono kufanele ihlonishwe noma kungaba khona ukungaboni ngaso linye futhi izinqumo kufanele zithathwe ngokuvumelana.Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, umuntu owenze iphutha uyalibona iphutha lakhe, alivume bese elungisa lapho one khona. Kuba yinkinga-ke lapho umuntu ethi enze iphutha kodwa angakwazi ukulivuma, azehlise.Uma nihlala ndawonye, imisebenzi yasendlini kufanele nihlale phansi nibonisane ngayo bese nivumelana ngokuthi niyabelana kanjani.Kuthiwa kusemqoka ukuba uhlale uhlale ubuhlole ubudlelwano okubo ukuthi busahamba ngakho yini. Indlela ongabona ngayo ukuthi kusaqondile konke wukuba ubucubungule, ubheke izinkomba zobudlelwano obungenampilo futhi obunokuhlukumeza.IZINDLELA ZOKUHLUKUMEZAImvamisa uhlobo lobudlelwano obungenampilo lubonakala ngokuba kube nokwesabisana ngezindlela ezahlukene, okungaba wukwesabisa omunye ngamehlo (indlela ombuka ngayo), noma ngendlela ethile yokunyakazisa umzimba.Ongoti bathi ukuhlukumeza akukhona ukuthi umuntu aze abekwe isandla kodwa kuyenzeka ahlukunyezwe ngokomoya. Imvamisa umuntu okuhlukumeza ngokomoya umqaphela ngokuba ahlale ekwenza uzizwe kabi ngawe, uhlazekile noma unukubezekile ngandlela thile.Bathi kuwukuhlukumeza futhi ukuba uphathina wakho akuvalele endlini, angafuni uhlangane nabanye abantu. Kuyenzeka-ke umuntu ohlukumezayo angafuni ukwamukela noma aphike ukuthi ungumhlukumezi.Kuyenzeka futhi kusetshenziswe izingane ukuhlukumeza omunye umuntu, njengokuba uphathina akhulume kabi phambi kwezingane ukuze zidlulisele leyo nkulumo engeyinhle kohlukunyezwayo.Kubikwa ukuthi kukhona noku- hlukunyezwa ngokwezomnotho, lapho uthola ukuthi uphathina akafuni ukuvumela omunye ukuba ayosebenza. Lokho kuvamisile ukwenzeka kubantu besifazane, abenqatshelwa ngabayeni babo ukuyosebenza.Okufanele ukwenze uma ubona ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obungalungile wukuba ufune usizo lochwepheshe ukuze uthole izindlela zokulungisa isimo noma ushiye phansi lobo budlelwano.Ubudlelwano obunempilo abusho ukungaqophisani ngamazwi, leso simo siyafika nakanjani, futhi akubi lula ukuba nigcine nifinyelele esivumelwaneni lapho kukhona ukungaboni ngaso linye. Iqiniso wukuthi ubudlelwano budinga isikhathi bakhiwa, bulungiswa.bhekin@ilanganews.co.za
