Lapho Oshade Naye Ehlushwa Yisifo Esingamahlalakhona | Injabulo YomkhayaULIMI ISpanishi Isi-Albania Isi-Amharic Isi-Arabhu Isi-Armenia Isi-Efik Isi-Estonia Isi-Igbo Isi-Iloko Isi-Indonesia Isi-Ukraine IsiBhunu IsiBulgaria IsiCebuano IsiCreole SaseHaiti IsiCroatia IsiCzech IsiDanishi IsiDashi IsiFinishi IsiFulentshi IsiGeorgia IsiGreki IsiHebheru IsiHiligaynon IsiHindi IsiHungary IsiJalimane IsiJapane IsiKorea IsiLithuania IsiMacedonia IsiMalagasy IsiMalta IsiNgisi IsiNorway IsiNtaliyane IsiPolishi IsiPutukezi IsiRashiya IsiRomania IsiSerbia IsiShayina SesiMandarin (Esenziwe Lula) IsiShayina SesiMandarin (Sezinhlamvu Zakudala) IsiSinhala IsiSlovak IsiSlovenia IsiSuthu (SaseLesotho) IsiSwidi IsiTagalog IsiTelugu IsiThai IsiTsonga IsiTurkey IsiVietnam IsiXhosa IsiZuluSelokhu ngaba nesifo sokutubeka komzimba okungapheli kuye kwadingeka ukuba kube ngumyeni wami kuphela osebenzayo. Inkinga iwukuthi akangitsheli lutho ngezimo zethu zezimali. Kungani engifihlela? Mhlawumbe sicwile ezikweletini, wesaba ukuthi ngizophatheka kabi kakhulu uma ngingathola lokho.—UNancy. *UMSHADO ungase ube nezinkinga, kodwa zivele zande kakhulu lapho omunye ehlaselwa isifo esingelapheki kuyilapho omunye engumqemane. * Ingabe unakekela oshade naye ogulayo? Uma kunjalo, ingabe ukhona kule mibuzo elandelayo okukhathazayo: ‘Ngizobhekana kanjani nesimo uma impilo yakhe iqhubeka iwohloka? Kuyoze kube nini ngimnakekela, ngipheka, ngihlanza indlu ngibe ngisebenza ukuze siphile? Kungani ngizizwa kabi ngokuthi mina ngiphile saka?’Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma kunguwena ogulayo, ungase uzibuze: ‘Ngingazihlonipha kanjani njengoba ngingakwazi ukwenza izinto eziqondene nami? Ingabe engishade naye kuyamcasula ukuthi ngiyagula? Ingabe sisayoke siphinde sijabule?’Kuyadabukisa ukuthi eminye imishado iye yachitheka ngenxa yobunzima obubangelwa ukugula okungapheli. Yize kunjalo, lokho akusho ukuthi nowakho umshado uzochitheka.Imishado eminingi iye yaphumelela, eminye yaze yaqina kakhulu naphezu kokugula komunye. Cabangela isibonelo sikaYoshiaki noKazuko. Ukulimala umgogodla kwashiya uYoshiaki engakwazi nokuphenduka uma engasizwa othile. UKazuko uyachaza: “Umyeni wami udinga usizo ngayo yonke into. Ngenxa yokumnakekela, intamo yami, amahlombe nezingalo sekwahlala kubuhlungu, nami sengelashelwa amathambo. Ngivame ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi ukunakekela umuntu ogulayo kuqeda amandla.” Nokho, naphezu kwalobo bunzima uKazuko uthi: “Sisondelene kakhulu kunakuqala njengendoda nomfazi.”Siyini isihluthulelo senjabulo naphezu kwezimo ezinjalo? Esinye sazo siwukulondoloza isilinganiso esifanele sokwaneliseka emshadweni. Ukugula kufanele kubhekwe njengesitha esibi esingagcini nje ngokuhlasela ogulayo, kodwa bobabili abantu abashadile. Ngale nje kwalokho, uma omunye egula, bobabili bathinteka ngokujulile ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene. Lokhu kuncika komunye nomunye phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kuchazwe kuGenesise 2:24: “Indoda iyoshiya uyise nonina inamathele kumkayo babe nyamanye.” Ngakho-ke, lapho oshade naye ehlushwa ukugula okungapheli, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nobabili nibambisane ekubhekaneni nezinselele.Ngaphezu kwalokho, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi indoda nomfazi abalondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle lapho bebhekene nenkinga yokugula okungapheli bayakwazi ukwamukela isimo futhi bafunde ukuthola izindlela ezisebenzayo zokubhekana naso. Izindlela eziningi zokuphumelela abaye bazifunda zivumelana neseluleko esingaphelelwa yisikhathi esitholakala eBhayibhelini. Cabangelani lokhu kusikisela okuthathu okulandelayo.Bonisanani UkucabangelanaUmShumayeli 4:9 uthi: “Ababili bangcono kunoyedwa.” Kungani kunjalo? Ivesi 10 liyaphendula: “Uma kungenzeka omunye wabo awe, lo omunye angamvusa umngane wakhe.” ‘Uyamvusa yini umngane’ wakho ngokumenzela izinto ezibonisa ukuthi uyamazisa?Ingabe niyazifuna izindlela ezingokoqobo zokusizana? UYong, onkosikazi yakhe yakhubazeka ingxenye yomzimba, uthi: “Ngizama ukumcabangela ngazo zonke izikhathi umkami. Uma ngizizwa ngomile, ngiye ngicabange ukuthi hleze naye womile. Uma ngifuna ukushaywa umoya ngibone indalo, ngiyambuza ukuthi ngeke yini athanda ukuhamba nami. Sizwa ubuhlungu ndawonye futhi sibukhuthazelele ndawonye.”Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma kunguwe onakekelwayo, ingabe zikhona izinto ezithile ongazenzela zona ezingeke zisongele impilo yakho? Uma kunjalo, lokho kungakwenza uzizwe usengumuntu, kukhuthaze noshade naye ukuba aqhubeke ekunakekela.Kunokuba ucabange ukuthi uyayazi indlela engcono kakhulu yokubonisa oshade naye ukuthi uyamcabangela, mbuze ukuthi yini angayijabulela kakhulu. UNancy, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, wagcina ekhulumile nomyeni wakhe ngendlela azizwa ngayo ngendaba yokungasazi isimo sabo sezimali. Manje umyeni wakhe useyaqikelela ukuthi uyaxoxa naye ngale ndaba.ZAMANI LOKHU: Bhala phansi lokho ocabanga ukuthi kungenziwa oshade naye ukuze izinto zibe ngcono; nowakwakho makenze okufanayo bese nishintshana ngalokho enikubhalile. Ngamunye kini kufanele akhethe ukusikisela okukodwa noma okubili kwezinto angase akwazi ukuzenza.Yibani Nesimiso EsilinganiselayoInkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yabhala: “Kukhona isikhathi esimisiwe sayo yonke into.” (UmShumayeli 3:1) Nokho, kungase kubonakale kungenakwenzeka ukulondoloza isimiso esilinganiselayo, uma nicabangela ukuthi ukugula okungapheli kungase kuphazamise isimiso sasekhaya. Yini eningayenza ukuze nikwazi ukufinyelela isilinganiso esithile sokulinganisela?Nobabili ningase nizame ukuba nike nikhohlwe kancane izinkinga zempilo ezingathí sina. Nisengakwazi yini ukujabulela ezinye zezinto enanizijabulela ngaphambi kokugula? Uma ningeke nisakwazi, ningazama yini izinto ezintsha? Kungase kube yinto elula njengokufundelana izincwadi noma ethé ukuba nzinyana njengokufunda ulimi olusha. Ukwenza izinto ndawonye kuyoqinisa ukuba kwenu “nyamanye”—kwandise nenjabulo yenu.Ukuze nikwazi ukulinganisela ekuphileni kwenu, ningakwazi yini ukwenza izinto enizithandayo ndawonye?Enye into enganisiza ekulondolozeni ukulinganisela iwukuzihlanganisa nabanye. Encwadini yezAga 18:1, iBhayibheli lithi: “Ozihlukanisayo uyozifunela isifiso sobugovu; uyophulukundlela aphambane nakho konke ukuhlakanipha okusebenzayo.” Uphawulile yini kuleli vesi ukuthi ukuzihlukanisa kungaba nemiphumela engemihle engqondweni kuyilapho ukuchitha isikhathi nabanye ngezikhathi ezithile kunganenza nizizwe ningcono futhi kunisize nicabange ngezinto ezakhayo? Kungani ningathathi isinyathelo sokumema othile ukuba anivakashele?Ngezinye izikhathi, ukulinganisela kuyabehlula labo abangabanakekeli. Abanye bazithwalisa umsebenzi omningi, bese kancane kancane betheneka amandla babeke nempilo yabo engozini. Bangagcina bengasakwazi ukuqhubeka benakekela abantu abashade nabo ababathandayo. Ngakho uma unakekela oshade naye onokugula okungapheli, musa ukukhohlwa izidingo zakho siqu. Bekela njalo eceleni isikhathi sokuba wedwa ukuze uphumule. * Abanye baye bakuthola kwelapha ukukhuluma ngezinto ezibakhathazayo ngezikhathi ezithile nomngane othembekile wobulili obufanayo.ZAMA LOKHU: Bhala phansi izingqinamba obhekana nazo lapho unakekela owakwakho. Yibe usubhala uhlu lwezisombululo ongazisebenzisa ukuze ukwazi ukunqoba lezo zingqinamba noma ubhekane nazo ngempumelelo. Kunokuba ulokhu uzicusumbula, zibuze, ‘Yisiphi isisombululo esilula nesisobala kunazo zonke esingenza isimo sibe ngconywana?’Zamani Ukuhlala Ninombono OqondileIBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Ungasho ukuthi: ‘Kungani izinsuku zangaphambili ziye zaba ngcono kunalezi?’” (UmShumayeli 7:10) Ngakho-ke, gwemani ukulokhu nithi ‘ukube.’ Khumbulani ukuthi kuleli zwe ayikho injabulo ephelele. Ikhambi nje liwukuba namukele isimo senu bese niphila naso.Yini enganisiza kule ndaba? Xoxani ngezibusiso zenu. Jabulelani ngisho ukululama okuncane. Tholani ukuthi yiziphi izinto enizilangazelelayo, bese nizibekela umgomo wokuzifinyelela ndawonye.UShoji nomkakhe u-Akiko baye basisebenzisa lesi seluleko esingenhla futhi sabasiza. Ngemva kokuba u-Akiko ehlaselwe i-fibromyalgia—isifo sokukhathala nokuqaqanjelwa umzimba wonke, esiphazamisa nenkumbulo—kwadingeka basishiye isabelo sabo esikhethekile senkonzo yamaKristu yesikhathi esigcwele. Ingabe badumazeka? Kungokwemvelo lokho. Nokho, uShoji weluleka abanye ababhekene nesimo esifanayo: “Ningazizwisi ubuhlungu ngokucabangana nezinto eningeke nisakwazi ukuzenza. Yibani nombono oqondile. Ngisho noma nobabili nisenethemba lokuphinde niphile njengangaphambili ngelinye ilanga, kodwa okwamanje gxilani kwenibhekene nakho ekuphileni kwenu. Kimi, lokho kusho ukugxila kumkami nasekumsizeni.” Nawe singakusiza lesi seluleko uma owakwakho ehlushwa impilo.^ isig. 4 Lesi sihloko sixoxa ngezimo lapho oshade naye ehlushwa ukugula okungapheli. Nokho, abantu abashadile ababhekene nezinkinga zempilo ngenxa yokulimala noma ukuhlushwa yimizwelo njengokucindezeleka amaphuzu akulesi sihloko angabasiza uma bewasebenzisa.^ isig. 20 Uma izimo zakho zikuvumela, kungase kube yinto etusekayo ukuba ngezikhathi ezithile uthole usizo ezisebenzini zezempilo eziqeqeshiwe noma ezinhlanganweni zomphakathi uma zikhona.Yini ebaluleke kakhulu mina nengishade naye okudingeka siyenze manje?Ukuxoxa kakhudlwana ngokugulaUkunciphisa izingxoxo eziphathelene nokugulaUkungakhathazeki kakhuluUkubonisa ukukhathalela abanye kakhudlwanaUkwenza izinto esizijabulela sobabiliUkuzihlanganisa kakhudlwana nabanyeUkuba nemigomo efanayoUmshado Umshado Nomndeni Ukuthula NenjabuloLapho Kugadla InhlekeleleThola usizo oludingayo.Indlela Yokubonisa Ukwazisa
