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Therax

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Therapy_Diagnosis

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Pregnancy and Anxiety My partner and I are planning to start trying for a second baby soon. In the summer of 2018, I had a very bad flare up of anxiety - panic attacks that lasted hours, chest pains, etc. While I have managed the anxiety better over time, I'm not back to where I was. I worry about being pregnant and having anxiety. I don't want horror stories, please. Frankly, I am looking for reassurance from others who have done it. How did you handle it? Also, yes, I am going to talk with my ob/gyn about this and I am in the (very long) process of getting a therapist (it's been hard to find someone who fits my needs, but I'm trying!). Just looking for some anecdotal positive stuff to remind myself of - thanks!

axienty

pregnancy anxiety partner planning start trying second baby soon summer bad flare panic attack lasted hour chest pain etc managed better time back worry pregnant want horror story please frankly looking reassurance others done handle also yes going talk ob gyn long process getting therapist hard find someone fit need anecdotal positive stuff remind thanks

Moderately Positive

Immediate Relief of anxiety? I think I have depression and/or anxiety. I typically go through months of feeling perfectly fine, then out of no where, I go through bouts of anxiety/depression systems. My emotions are easily altered by what people say. If I am watching a movie, I feel a lot of empathy for the tragedy of the characters, even if I know it is fiction. If someone I respect does something disrespectful towards me, I over think it, and it can ruin my whole day. Growing up, my mother was really judgmental and negative, and always made me paranoid about everything. Growing up, my mom would make me feel bad about doing stuff like working out, hanging out with friends (especially girls), and watching movies. My dad was uber successful, and she wanted me to just be like him. I still feel a little bit of shame when I do stuff like that. My bouts are manifested in one of two ways. One of the ways is that I feel a lot of fatigue. Even walking half a mile wears me out and can induce an anxiety attack. No matter how much I sleep, I feel shitty, and awful. If I push my body, it gives out and I get a full on panic attack, and doesn't get better until I take a nap. With the other kind of anxiety I have is negative energy. I feel jittery, my muscles tense up, my neck is tight, I speak at a fast pace, and sometimes my face hurts until I leave where I am (and this scares me a lot when it happens). Sometimes I get really bad headaches, but I'm surprisingly sharp and can recall a lot of details. I've tried journaling, meditating 20 minutes a day, and exercise. Is there anything I can do for immediate relief?

axienty

immediate relief anxiety think depression typically go month feeling perfectly fine bout system emotion easily altered people say watching movie feel lot empathy tragedy character even know fiction someone respect something disrespectful towards ruin whole day growing mother really judgmental negative always made paranoid everything mom would make bad stuff like working hanging friend especially girl dad uber successful wanted still little bit shame manifested one two way fatigue walking half mile wear induce attack matter much sleep shitty awful push body give get full panic better take nap kind energy jittery muscle tense neck tight speak fast pace sometimes face hurt leave scare happens headache surprisingly sharp recall detail tried journaling meditating minute exercise anything

Neutral

Does anyone else tremble so hard it’s painful? I’ve developed an anxiety issue over the last five months and I’m seeing a therapist and am on meds. That being said, when I start to get even a little anxious my body trembles. My muscles start contracting harder and my shakes get more violent the worse my anxiety gets. My trembling gets painful. As I wind down after an anxiety attack my body will randomly tense and shake until it subsides. It’s exhausting when it’s an all day thing until it peaks and I come down from like that tension. It was like this before meds and therapy. Does anyone else experience anything like this?

axienty

anyone else tremble hard painful developed anxiety issue last five month seeing therapist med said start get even little anxious body muscle contracting harder shake violent worse trembling wind attack randomly tense subsides exhausting day thing peak come like tension therapy experience anything

Moderately Negative

Panick attack inducing suicide ideation? I've heard a lot about panick attacks but have often had trouble identifying to the symptoms. One I have heard the most about is thinking you might die. I have never experienced that, however I almost always convince myself I desperately WANT to die during my "attacks" Does anyone know if that could be a sign of panick attack? Or has ever experienced one this way? I know I suffer from anxiety, but labelling these thoughts as a side effect of an anxiety attack could really help me stop taking them so seriously

axienty

panick attack inducing suicide ideation heard lot often trouble identifying symptom one thinking might die never experienced however almost always convince desperately want anyone know could sign ever way suffer anxiety labelling thought side effect really help stop taking seriously

Moderately Negative

Suffering from "L'appel du vide". (The call of the void). Hello everyone! I'm creating this thread because I really need help with my problem. I'm suffering from what we call "L'appel du vide". Examples for this disorder: make a sudden 90 degree turn while driving, jumping off a cliff. We can also call that Suicidal Ideation. So I'm driving for approximately a year now and everything was fine until a month ago. Now, I'm not suicidal at all, but when I'm driving I feel like I have the urge to make sudden 90 degree turns. It's even worse when I'm driving on the highway. I'm also aware that there are other drivers around me and it would be really... selfish to do this kind of move. In about a month I'll have to drive a lot and I really need to get rid of this. The worst part is, I was so excited to drive all by myself and now I suffer from this. I really need to talk to someone about this but I came here first for advices/help on getting rid of my disorder.

axienty

suffering appel du vide call void hello everyone creating thread really need help problem example disorder make sudden degree turn driving jumping cliff also suicidal ideation approximately year everything fine month ago feel like urge even worse highway aware driver around would selfish kind move drive lot get rid worst part excited suffer talk someone came first advice getting

Neutral

i concentrate on all my symptoms way too hard hey guys! so i (female, 18) have had severe emetophobia (fear of vomiting) from anxiety for 10+ years now. i had it under control for a really long time but my anxiety is getting a lot worse now, causing me to miss class and other things (i’m a freshman in college). lately i’ve been experiencing a lot of depersonalization/derealization during my panic attacks, and in general feeling like the world is a step away. i am constantly scared of going crazy because in the throes of an attack i’ll think about things like how weird it is to be a person (like, “how does my body know how to make me talk when i tell it to” or idk if i concentrate on it, it’s weird to think that “i” am basically just a brain piloting a body) and obviously that just makes me feel totally insane. i also don’t sleep much/well due to a combination of classes and anxiety, so during the day i’m often falling asleep. i have the experience many people have when going to sleep where your thoughts are all over the place, except it happens when i’m not trying to fall asleep (more like actively trying to resist it), so it scares me to have random thoughts pop into my head, especially because i usually have a very ordered thought process. (these aren’t intrusive/violent, just random) i’m scared that it’s going to escalate into hallucinations or a psychotic episode or something. i’m always checking myself to see how i’m feeling, if i’m perceiving sensations in what checks out to me as a “normal” way. has anyone else had these fears or feelings? it’s honestly very hard to deal with because i can’t get away from it - it’s my body. i just started seeing a therapist finally, after a long time without, but i won’t see her again until saturday. if you have similar experiences i’d love to hear it/your advice :-)

axienty

concentrate symptom way hard hey guy female severe emetophobia fear vomiting anxiety year control really long time getting lot worse causing miss class thing freshman college lately experiencing depersonalization derealization panic attack general feeling like world step away constantly scared going crazy throe think weird person body know make talk tell idk basically brain piloting obviously feel totally insane also sleep much well due combination day often falling asleep experience many people thought place except happens trying fall actively resist scare random pop head especially usually ordered process intrusive violent escalate hallucination psychotic episode something always checking see perceiving sensation check normal anyone else honestly deal get started seeing therapist finally without saturday similar love hear advice

Moderately Negative

What to do about self destructive thoughts and an overall depressed feeling late at night when getting ready for bed? Does anyone else notice these types of feelings happening to them regularly? I tend to get these types of feelings fairly often. Feelings of failure, of not being good enough and just an overall sense of uncertainty. I'm going through a rough patch in my life currently and I'm not sure how to fix my Outlook or my attitude on my situation.

axienty

self destructive thought overall depressed feeling late night getting ready bed anyone else notice type happening regularly tend get fairly often failure good enough sense uncertainty going rough patch life currently sure fix outlook attitude situation

Moderately Positive

Paranoid that people will be able to find my threads in Reddit I sometimes ask for advice on how to deal with office politics or relationship problems on the relationships sub. I am often scared that the people I am talking about in those threads will happen to come across my threads and know that I am talking about them. Am I being paranoid?

axienty

paranoid people able find thread reddit sometimes ask advice deal office politics relationship problem sub often scared talking happen come across know

Positive

I hate not having anyone to talk to Everyone always says that I can always talk to them if I need to but they don’t understand. Every time I try talking to someone on here, they start getting really creepy really fast. If I try to talk to my boyfriend I feel like i’m being manipulative and abusive. So now I’m just sitting here by myself feeling like shit. Getting anxious and paranoid about everything and there’s nothing I can do. I hate myself and I just want this shit to be over.

axienty

hate anyone talk everyone always say need understand every time try talking someone start getting really creepy fast boyfriend feel like manipulative abusive sitting feeling shit anxious paranoid everything nothing want

Moderately Negative

What do you talk about in therapy? This might sound like a stupid question but what do you talk about during a therapy session? Is it just ways to deal with anxiety? Do you just talk about what’s going on in your life? Genuinely curious as I have never gone but have been tossing the idea around.

axienty

talk therapy might sound like stupid question session way deal anxiety going life genuinely curious never gone tossing idea around

Moderately Negative

Are SSRIs (like zoloft) effective for anxiety without Depression? My doctor has just prescribed me 25mg Zoloft for my anxiety. I think I mentioned feeling sad in my life before but this was not due to depression (because I definitely do feel happy on most days). I heard antidepressants such as SSRIs could really affect mood and cause "emotional blunting". To anyone with GAD without depression, how has this affected you? I'm wondering if I should take it or speak to my doctor about another possibility. Thanks.

axienty

ssri like zoloft effective anxiety without depression doctor prescribed mg think mentioned feeling sad life due definitely feel happy day heard antidepressant could really affect mood cause emotional blunting anyone gad affected wondering take speak another possibility thanks

Moderately Positive

School trip has me anxious as hell! Tomorrow I leave for a school trip to NYC with our symphony band to play in front of judges at a competition. I’m not worried about that part, or being away from home, but mostly the fact that I’ll be traveling and exploring the city with a friend group that makes me worried about disagreements/enjoying myself, and that my girlfriend will be there with me. That sounds terrible. I love my girlfriend very very much, but spending three days together nonstop makes me terrified of being clingy or smothering. She’s a very chill, go-with-the-flow person, while I’m very Type A, need to know what’s happening all the time, and usually an anxious mess. I’m so so worried about being too clingy while we’re on the trip, but at the same time I’m worried about if she tells me she needs some space because she told me that she definitely wants to spend time with friends (of course she does, I have absolutely nothing against that at all). What do I do then? I’m a big girl, I know for sure I’m not reliant on my girlfriend, but it’s the matter of my ego taking a hit and feeling unwanted (plus I don’t have a ton of other friends going I can hang out with). The friend group I’ll be hanging out with is made up of me and my girlfriend, a mutual friend and her boyfriend, and two other friends. One of my friends in this group is very bold and assertive, which is by no means a bad thing, but I find it super hard to disagree with her. What if I can’t say no to something I don’t want to do? What if everyone else wants to do something that I don’t want to do? What if I want to do something that no one else wants to do? What if there’s a disagreement of some kind and things get awkward for three whole days? There are so many things that could go wrong!!! This turned into an anxious rant. Guess I just needed to get that off my chest. I guess what I need is advice on how to get through a trip that’s already making me anxious, not suffocate my girlfriend, learn how to give her space, and navigate group dynamics. If you read all that, thanks a ton for reading my stream of consciousness. I would give you a cookie if I could.

axienty

school trip anxious hell tomorrow leave nyc symphony band play front judge competition worried part away home mostly fact traveling exploring city friend group make disagreement enjoying girlfriend sound terrible love much spending three day together nonstop terrified clingy smothering chill go flow person type need know happening time usually mess tell space told definitely want spend course absolutely nothing big girl sure reliant matter ego taking hit feeling unwanted plus ton going hang hanging made mutual boyfriend two one bold assertive mean bad thing find super hard disagree say something everyone else kind get awkward whole many could wrong turned rant guess needed chest advice already making suffocate learn give navigate dynamic read thanks reading stream consciousness would cookie

Moderately Positive

It’s funny how you think you’ve beating it, but really it’s always been there in the background I went 8 years of complete normalcy while on Celexa. It was wonderful. I moved to a new city with my girlfriend at the time. I had many jobs, I even landed a record deal. So what’s wrong right now? I’m currently taking benzos again because I can’t fucking deal with this shit again. I know that’s a train ride you don’t want to take, and my doctor and I have a really good relationship over taking benzos, it’s just I’m tired, I’m defeated. To feel the grips of GAD again is horrifying. The waking up with cold sweats, the awful cold tension over your body, and eventually you puke, you cry, whatever. Insane cognitive distortions that make every illogical thought, logical. I’m in therapy and for the past 5 weeks it’s been a blast, but for some reason this weekend I felt like I got hit by a truck. Maybe it’s time to switch off Celexa, maybe 8 years is too long, I don’t know. I just know that for some reason I can’t shake this mentally with the tools I’ve learnt from therapy and to take an Ativan/Klonopin seems blissfully correct. What’s funny is that this morning, I felt all the symptoms above and figure why not take an Ativan, my doctor takes them sometimes too. And for some dumb reason it wasn’t working. Which makes you think, wow I’m really in deep water now that 1mg does dick all. It’s only the second time I’ve taken it too! This whole block of text is convoluted, but it does feel good to write about it.

axienty

funny think beating really always background went year complete normalcy celexa wonderful moved new city girlfriend time many job even landed record deal wrong right currently taking benzos fucking shit know train ride want take doctor good relationship tired defeated feel grip gad horrifying waking cold sweat awful tension body eventually puke cry whatever insane cognitive distortion make every illogical thought logical therapy past week blast reason weekend felt like got hit truck maybe switch long shake mentally tool learnt ativan klonopin seems blissfully correct morning symptom figure sometimes dumb working wow deep water mg dick second taken whole block text convoluted write

Moderately Negative

Cure for anxiety disorder but not nofap Nofap is just a distraction not the cure..while using nofap it ofcourse feels good because 1.u are proud of your streak 2.u have only one negative thought in ur mind that is to fap but u are controlling that.every time u r lonely the only negative thought comes is u want to fap ..but the truth is that one day u are going to fap and u r gonna feel terrible than ever before 3. Happy people does not do nofap.. If they do they r not gonna get any benefits 4.if u r doing nofap since u r depressed, it is likely u have anxiety disorder 5.the only way to overcome anxiety disorder is to change ur thought... How to change ur thought.. 1.now what u are trying to do is believing on something like nofap that it will change ur future.. The truth is that u need to believe yourself.. If u completely believe on nofap, even though u feel like u got superpowers during nofap, one day when u relapse the things r upside down and u will be depressed than ever before. So what is the final cure 2.u must accept ur bad incidents and keep on moving... What we actually do? We will be depressed thinking of the bad incidents that had happened and will start searching for the cure like "I shouldn't have behaved in such a way.. I must be cured"..finally reaching for something like nofap.. This is the wrong thing What me must do? We must change our thinking.. But it is not that easy.. Whenever we come across any stressful situations we must not hurt ourself by asking for cure in the internet from feeling in such a way.. It actually worsens ur stress.. Instead we must accept the feeling and think like "it's OK all is well"...every time u feel bad or getting nervous say "it's OK.. All is well"..its may sound like a waste thing for many suffering from depression, but this thing actually works because u have no more reason to get worry and waste time..the people suffering from anxiety disorder it may take an year of this practice to recover or make ur brain rewire...u will finally understand what really is anxiety disorder..

axienty

cure anxiety disorder nofap distraction using ofcourse feel good proud streak one negative thought ur mind fap controlling every time lonely come want truth day going gonna terrible ever happy people get benefit since depressed likely way overcome change trying believing something like future need believe completely even though got superpower relapse thing upside final must accept bad incident keep moving actually thinking happened start searching behaved cured finally reaching wrong easy whenever across stressful situation hurt ourself asking internet feeling worsens stress instead think ok well getting nervous say may sound waste many suffering depression work reason worry take year practice recover make brain rewire understand really

Moderately Positive

I went to the doctor for my anxiety today and it went terribly Hey guys, I've been a lurker on this sub for a while now, but because of what happened today I've decided to post this just to vent because it didn't go the way I hoped it would. Sorry about this long wall of text! Just to preface this i'm 17 and have had social anxiety and general anxiety for years at this point and have wanted to get help for it, but... well, I've been too anxious to :P. I always just said i'd sort it out later and just tried to avoid or deal with the anxiety. This sub has been pretty helpful, especially seeing people who go through the same things that I do but recently its been getting pretty bad. About 3 days ago I started developing a "tic" which involves my head jerking back or to the side every couple of minutes/seconds depending on how anxious I am. I think this happened because I've realised how close exams are and how unprepared/unrevised I am for them and other anxiety causing things (like other people existing xD). Anyways, my parents decided I needed to get this sorted out if its getting too bad, so they decided to make an appointment. I was already anxious because I only had one days warning which made me double anxious. Anyways, onward to my appointment, I was already anxious because I was in public and looked crazy because of my tic and also I was at my normal doctor but I wasn't seeing my regular GP, instead I was seeing another doctor that I didn't know. I waited in the waiting room for a while and then got called into the room (I was there with my dad so he came as well). When I went in there was a man in what I would say was his mid 50's, with a blank expression and judging eyes (lol). He was the most monotone and slow (as in the way he acted and moved) person I have ever met. Imagine the sloth from Zootopia mixed with a "SHHHHH" librarian and a sprinkle of judgement and dissmisiveness. I honestly think he may have been on some sedative/drug by the way he acted TBH. I thought this appointment would be the "Hi, what are your symptoms, does this happen ? oh you probably have this, do this and this to make it easier/ to help" type , I guess not. When I went in and sat down he just glared at me for a solid 5 seconds (why tho ?). For the next part ill be paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact things he said but ill try my best. The first thing he said to me was "why are you here then" in a bored voice, me being the anxious person I am just said "well, i'm anxious, I think i have social anxiety and general anxiety", he then said "OK" in the slowest and most untrusting tone I've heard for a while. He asked me a couple of questions like "what is your default state of mind", again being anxious I said "anxious most of the time", "What is your social life, do you have any friends?", "Non existent and pretty much no because I'm too anxious to talk to people". He asked about school and I said I'm doing OK, but that it's hard because I cant ask the teacher questions in class etc because I'm too anxious and don't want to be looked at or else my face goes red and my eyes start to water and also all the other things that come with general and social anxiety. At this point my face started to go red and I just blinked a lot so I was obviously visibly anxious (as well as the tics lol). He then preceded to tell me that he "cant do anything" and that I should talk to a school councillor (my school doesn't have one) and maybe I should come back when I'm 18 because I could then get adult counselling and also he wouldn't want to treat it medically. Probably the funniest part was when he said that I should "look online" to get some help. Wow thank you! I had never thought of that!!! \\s The whole time I explained he had the blankest look I've ever seen on a human face. The only thing he did was print of a sheet with some websites on like the Samaritans and 2 other websites and said I should have a look. The way he went to print off that sheet literally looked like he was doing it in slow motion though with how slow/tranquillised he was. He did talk about a place in my city where I could go to look for help which is in the town centre. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand I would be too anxious to go there (my dad says hes gonna make me go there anyways :P). My dad asked about the tics and he said "Its a physical manifestation of the anxiety" which was probably the longest sentence he managed to say about my anxiety during this whole thing. I'm sure I didn't do this conversation justice but just imagine the most "whatever" doctor and then imagine them being sedated with horse tranquilliser. That appointment was full of loooong pauses which made it even worse. Anyways, in the aftermath I'm pretty sure I don't want to go to the doctors again. My dad said hes going to get me an appointment with his doctor who's much nicer once I'm 18 (in 1-2 months) but I'm not sure if I want to. My dad agrees he was terrible so at least It wasn't just me. The only upside to this is that my mum contacted my school to tell them why I was off and apparently I might be able to get concessions (I think that's what it's called) where exams are marked more leniently. Although my head of year is going to tell all of my teachers whats wrong with me (I think they just assumed i was awkward) because I never told them but I haven't in the first place because I never got a diagnosis ( technically still don't but I am not going to try to go back and go through that again, but he did say it was anxiety at one point sooo) and also I'm too anxious to. ​ Because of this, it has really put me off trying to get help if it will just make it worse than I started. I wish I was just a normal, non anxious human :P ​ Sorry if I over exaggerated at all, this just happened to me so it's probably gonna be on my mind for a while ;P. ATM i just feel defeated and sad. I really hope this doesn't come off as a pity post because I just wanted to vent. Anybody else gone though the same ?

axienty

went doctor anxiety today terribly hey guy lurker sub happened decided post vent go way hoped would sorry long wall text preface social general year point wanted get help well anxious always said sort later tried avoid deal pretty helpful especially seeing people thing recently getting bad day ago started developing tic involves head jerking back side every couple minute second depending think realised close exam unprepared unrevised causing like existing xd anyways parent needed sorted make appointment already one warning made double onward public looked crazy also normal regular gp instead another know waited waiting room got called dad came man say mid blank expression judging eye lol monotone slow acted moved person ever met imagine sloth zootopia mixed shhhhh librarian sprinkle judgement dissmisiveness honestly may sedative drug tbh thought hi symptom happen oh probably easier type guess sat glared solid tho next part ill paraphrasing remember exact try best first bored voice ok slowest untrusting tone heard asked question default state mind time life friend non existent much talk school hard cant ask teacher class etc want else face red start water come blinked lot obviously visibly preceded tell anything councillor maybe could adult counselling treat medically funniest look online wow thank never whole explained blankest seen human print sheet website samaritan literally motion though tranquillised place city town centre sure understand he gonna physical manifestation longest sentence managed conversation justice whatever sedated horse tranquilliser full loooong pause even worse aftermath going nicer month agrees terrible least upside mum contacted apparently might able concession marked leniently although whats wrong assumed awkward told diagnosis technically still sooo really put trying wish exaggerated atm feel defeated sad hope pity anybody gone

Neutral

Anxiety vent I honestly just feel so fed up. I just feel like I am spinning out some days. I don’t even know what my damn triggers are half the time. Or if I even have them when it comes to general anxiety. I don’t even know why I get so upset and then I go on these day long crying jags that leave my SO wondering how he can fix me even though so many times I tell him that he can’t and also that it isn’t his responsibility to do so. Thank you for reading if you did. I hope this doesn’t break any rules, I just wanted to try & put some words to how I’m feeling and honestly it just feels like spinning out of control. All rational thought just goes on the window.

axienty

anxiety vent honestly feel fed like spinning day even know damn trigger half time come general get upset go long cry jag leave wondering fix though many tell also responsibility thank reading hope break rule wanted try put word feeling control rational thought window

Moderately Positive

[17F] Extreme fear of vomiting and right on the verge of throwing up. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m currently in tears right now, my stomach is in knots and I’m huddled over the toilet. I don’t know if I’ll get any responses in time but if anyone could possibly help me calm down or at least attempt to I’d really appreciate it. I’m very scared and I know the logical thing to do would just be to throw up but I can’t do it. I’m so so close but i just don’t know how to let it happen without freaking out.

axienty

extreme fear vomiting right verge throwing anyone else experienced currently tear stomach knot huddled toilet know get response time could possibly help calm least attempt really appreciate scared logical thing would throw close let happen without freaking

Moderately Positive

I've been having bathroom anxiety lately and it's ruining my life. This has come up in the past few months of my life. I have panic attacks if I don't have access to a bathroom and a feeling like I have to pee or I'll wet myself. The crazy thing is I have never wet myself as an adult, but when ever I sit still I feel like like I'm gonna pee myself. If I'm sitting in class and realize that I just went to the bathroom and would be weird to keep getting up. I have this feeling of being trapped and start to panic. I don't know what to do about it and it's hindering my ability to have a normal life.

axienty

bathroom anxiety lately ruining life come past month panic attack access feeling like pee wet crazy thing never adult ever sit still feel gonna sitting class realize went would weird keep getting trapped start know hindering ability normal

Moderately Negative

I [22F] have had a panic attack every time I drink, even just one beer, since October. DAE have similar symptoms? Possible trigger: going over the details of my panic attacks In October of 2018 I went to a musical festival with my friends and we all got very drunk. I had a blast at the festival but when we got home around 2 am I was sobering up and had the worst panic attack of my life. Luckily my best friend was there to help me but I was crying hysterically on the bathroom floor asking my friend to kill me to make it stop. It lasted 2 hours. I tried taking Ativan but I was so upset I kept throwing it up. When I came back to my college town after the festival I talked to my doctor and she upped my Ativan prescription and prescribed me a rescue inhaler which has been tremendously helpful. Things have gone pretty much back to normal but now I can't drink alcohol. It's not a huge deal but I'm confused because I've drank socially since I was like 16 but now even if I have 1 beer I have a panic attack about 2 hours after I drink. Does anyone else feel this way? It's not while I'm drinking it's always an hour or two after when I get home. I drank 1 beer at dinner last night and while I was trying to fall asleep I thought I was going to die and had to pile a bunch of blankets on top of me to calm down. I'm at the point I'll probably never drink again but I was wondering if other people with anxiety have the same symptoms even when they drink enough to be drunk. Sorry for the long post

axienty

panic attack every time drink even one beer since october dae similar symptom possible trigger going detail went musical festival friend got drunk blast home around sobering worst life luckily best help cry hysterically bathroom floor asking kill make stop lasted hour tried taking ativan upset kept throwing came back college town talked doctor upped prescription prescribed rescue inhaler tremendously helpful thing gone pretty much normal alcohol huge deal confused drank socially like anyone else feel way drinking always two get dinner last night trying fall asleep thought die pile bunch blanket top calm point probably never wondering people anxiety enough sorry long post

Neutral

She's been attack free for months now. There seems to be a downside to this though, our relationship is taking a turn for the worst. The doctor said one of the side effects would be a loss of sex drive, which I understood and was ok with as long as it helped her. Lately though she's been just colder to me. We had a talk the other day and she says she still loves me, but more as a friend.

axienty

attack free month seems downside though relationship taking turn worst doctor said one side effect would loss sex drive understood ok long helped lately colder talk day say still love friend

Neutral

Does anyone else find depression a relief? I suffer mostly from anxiety and it’s pretty severe a lot of days even though I’m high functioning. Today I’m suffering from depression, which comes less frequently for me but I had to just stop and think about how much of a relief it is to go from giving too much of a shit about everything to giving no shits at all about anything.

axienty

anyone else find depression relief suffer mostly anxiety pretty severe lot day even though high functioning today suffering come le frequently stop think much go giving shit everything anything

Moderately Positive

Buspar is making me sick...? I have been taking various doses of Buspirone for probably 4 years now. I started at 10mg per day, and now i take 45mg total per day. It has always been fine for me. If I take it on a completely empty stomach it might make me a little queasy. But about a month ago, every time I take one, even if I take it with plenty of food, theres a good 20 minutes of 'oh god, I am seriously about to throw up.' Its gotten to the point where I just dont take it anymore. Sometimes I can really feel the anxiety and know I need it, so I give them another chance and they make me sick. I read that they can cause nausea, but why would it just be starting now?

axienty

buspar making sick taking various dos buspirone probably year started mg per day take total always fine completely empty stomach might make little queasy month ago every time one even plenty food there good minute oh god seriously throw gotten point dont anymore sometimes really feel anxiety know need give another chance read cause nausea would starting

Neutral

Yet my job requires me to always be reachable and the staff under me always ask me to help them, but I can't even help myself. I'm torn between wanting to be alone, wanting to reach out for help, talking to people just so I can yell and push them away. I don't know what to do. That's a lie, I think I do but I don't want to. Any effort is exhausting and I can't bring myself to fix it.

axienty

yet job requires always reachable staff ask help even torn wanting alone reach talking people yell push away know lie think want effort exhausting bring fix

Moderately Negative

My first time home alone and I'm extremely anxious. I'm 17 years old and suffer with anxiety. My parents are going away this weekend and it will be my first weekend alone. I've never been alone over night because I've always been extremely anxious and afraid of doing it. I always have worries of bad things happening and it makes me panic. If anyone has any advice for how to cope with this situation I would be extremely grateful. Thank you.

axienty

first time home alone extremely anxious year old suffer anxiety parent going away weekend never night always afraid worry bad thing happening make panic anyone advice cope situation would grateful thank

Moderately Negative

Theatre is an absolute nightmare So I’m currently in a theatre arts class at my school, which I thought would be a great thing to sign up for since I really liked tech theatre. The main problem is that I have to perform in front of my small class of 20 ish. (no really big plays because only honors theatre students can do that) I worked really hard memorizing my small monologue because it’s a test grade, and I didn’t think I’d have a problem acting it out. The moment I gave my teacher my script I went full on panic. (I have a long history of panic attacks and anxiety) I knew my lines I just couldn’t speak and I was visibly shaking. After I repeated my second line almost 3 times, I covered my face and almost broke out in tears, and I finally asked if I could start over. My teacher let me start over,luckily, and I got through it. I honestly feel really embarrassed, and I will have to do the same monologue again soon. Does anyone have any strategies to help me not panic when I have to act out my monologue?

axienty

theatre absolute nightmare currently art class school thought would great thing sign since really liked tech main problem perform front small ish big play honor student worked hard memorizing monologue test grade think acting moment gave teacher script went full panic long history attack anxiety knew line speak visibly shaking repeated second almost time covered face broke tear finally asked could start let luckily got honestly feel embarrassed soon anyone strategy help act

Moderately Positive

How do you fight the sense of impending doom? I feel it all the time. It's usually mild, in the background, with some peaks of fear or even seconds of absolute panic, but it never goes away. It's the feeling that something terrible is just around the corner, but nothing ever happens. I know it's pretty common. How do you deal with it?

axienty

fight sense impending doom feel time usually mild background peak fear even second absolute panic never go away feeling something terrible around corner nothing ever happens know pretty common deal

Moderately Negative

Anyone else having difficulty getting Xanax prescription? I’ve been on .5 Xanax for over ten years. I take maybe 30/year, whenever i fly or am out of town or feel like I’m far away from a hospital. I live in a big city and the doctor’s and PAs in my doctor’s office are constantly changing, and now I’ve moved and switched doctors, and every time i feel like my doctors are suspicious and the last couple of times I’ve had difficulty getting my prescription. Once my doctor was flat out rude to me. I have a friend who is a pharmacist and says there is a database that keeps track of my prescriptions that the doctors have access to, so I know they can see that I’m not some kind of addict. Is there something going on that is making it hard to get prescriptions? I’m starting to panic a little bit. I couldn’t get a refill filled despite having only gotten ten pills this year and now have to go into the office tomorrow morning. I have flights booked for a vacation this weekend and I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult to get the prescription.

axienty

anyone else difficulty getting xanax prescription ten year take maybe whenever fly town feel like far away hospital live big city doctor pa office constantly changing moved switched every time suspicious last couple flat rude friend pharmacist say database keep track access know see kind addict something going making hard get starting panic little bit refill filled despite gotten pill go tomorrow morning flight booked vacation weekend understand difficult

Moderately Positive

Treatment through Primary Care Hi all, I'm asking this primarily for a friend (though I suffer from anxiety as well). How many of you have successfully treated your anxiety primarily through your PCP? I'm curious about the effectiveness.

axienty

treatment primary care hi asking primarily friend though suffer anxiety well many successfully treated pcp curious effectiveness

Moderately Positive

Waking up? I just woke up in the middle of the night in an EXTREME panic for, what seems to be no specific reason?! It was about 10 minutes ago and it's better but its still super intense. I have really irregular sleep habits so I was surprised I fell asleep that early. I'm debating whether I'm awake for a while nor or if I should try to sleep again.

axienty

waking woke middle night extreme panic seems specific reason minute ago better still super intense really irregular sleep habit surprised fell asleep early debating whether awake try

Moderately Positive

Dealing with Weight How do you deal with weight gain from Meds? Any GAD Meds that don’t cause weight gain? Any tips/advice is greatly welcomed and appreciated. I’ve been dealing with weight gain from taking Lexapro for almost a year now. I haven’t gained a tremendous amount (10ish pds), but I’ve never been very big and have been dealing with anxiety about the weight gain.. I’ve tried to diet/gym/join programs, but I have such a hard time staying motivated. When it comes to the gym/working out in general, I get paranoid and discouraged when I’m not able to perform as well as my mind wants me to. So I end up giving up. I live at the beach and I’m dreading summer because none of my bikinis fit.. also have a cruise coming up in July, a bridesmaid in November, and my wedding next May...

axienty

dealing weight deal gain med gad cause tip advice greatly welcomed appreciated taking lexapro almost year gained tremendous amount ish pd never big anxiety tried diet gym join program hard time staying motivated come working general get paranoid discouraged able perform well mind want end giving live beach dreading summer none bikini fit also cruise coming july bridesmaid november wedding next may

Moderately Positive

I have never felt more anxious and overwhelmed I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m shaking I feel like I’m close to a break down I can’t cope with this I’ve been so good for so long I’m so alone

axienty

never felt anxious overwhelmed know wrong shaking feel like close break cope good long alone

Neutral

I want to delete all social media but cannot bring myself to do it. I’m a senior in high school, the real world is coming at me fast. I’ve been able to get by in school without paying much attention in class, not having to study too much. Whenever I’m not at school, I’ve found myself glued to my phone. I’m always looking at other people’s lives. People I absolutely do not care about at all. I fully acknowledge this and still do it. I guess it’s extreme FOMO? Don’t want to lose snapchat streaks for fear of losing friends? Snapchat is really the main way of communication between friends from my old school and myself (transferred away this year). I don’t want to lose my friends, but I know I need to get rid of the pointless distractions in my life in order to get focused. Anybody else have the same problems?

axienty

want delete social medium cannot bring senior high school real world coming fast able get without paying much attention class study whenever found glued phone always looking people life absolutely care fully acknowledge still guess extreme fomo lose snapchat streak fear losing friend really main way communication old transferred away year know need rid pointless distraction order focused anybody else problem

Moderately Positive

First Doctor's Appointment Tomorrow (Need Help) Hi everyone, This is my first post official post here. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in order to get my medication back on track, and I'm absolutely terrified. A few years ago I was diagnosed with panic disorder and agoraphobia. I was seeing a doctor who was able to come see me in my house, but this doctor is now no longer in practice. I am unable to find another doctor who is able to come see me, and I have been spreading my anxiety medication incredibly thin until I could see someone else. However, I will have to go to their office, up three stories, and sit in an office, and it's all sounding incredibly overwhelming. I don't have any family where I live, so I will have to do this alone and it's sounding pretty impossible. I know that there are good things that will come out of this, but right now I can't seem to get past how anxious it is making me. To me, such a simple task seems like climbing Mt. Everest, and I thought that maybe some of you might be able to relate. I'm feeling pretty hopeless, so I hope that I can speak with some of you about this. Thanks so much.

axienty

first doctor appointment tomorrow need help hi everyone post official psychiatrist order get medication back track absolutely terrified year ago diagnosed panic disorder agoraphobia seeing able come see house longer practice unable find another spreading anxiety incredibly thin could someone else however go office three story sit sounding overwhelming family live alone pretty impossible know good thing right seem past anxious making simple task seems like climbing mt everest thought maybe might relate feeling hopeless hope speak thanks much

Moderately Positive

I worry about terrible things I could do. Does anyone else do this? I constantly worry about what terrible things I could do even though I would never do them. I could be sitting and petting my cat and feel super anxious about what would happen if I lost control of myself and threw her down the stairs. Those thoughts would consume me for a few minutes before going away for a while. Another common one is thinking about what would happen if I beat up an elderly person I'm with. Again, I think about what would happen if I just lost control and started doing it. I think about the pain they'd be in and the bleeding and it makes me feel like a terrible person even though I would never do it. TL;DR; I feel anxious about anything I could do to cause others pain, even though I'd never do them.

axienty

worry terrible thing could anyone else constantly even though would never sitting petting cat feel super anxious happen lost control threw stair thought consume minute going away another common one thinking beat elderly person think started pain bleeding make like tl dr anything cause others

Moderately Negative

Anyone committed to meds after counselling didn't work? Hi all, as per the title. I haven't tried counselling/therapy, although I have completed a program in CBT and know how it works (how to spot thoughts, counter unhelpful or emotional thinking etc) as well as knowing various mindfulness techniques (grounding myself, body scans etc). I haven't gone to counselling because it would cost about €200 a month, and while technically I can afford it, I have better uses for that money than spending it on something I don't feel will work overall. My doctor's approach is to wean me off meds (Escitalopram) under the assumption I'll somehow learn to manage anxiety without them. I don't think I ever will. My anxiety is rising now while on them, and even with all my thought rationalization and grounding techniques, I'm struggling to stay positive or sleep. So my question is, has anyone essentially committed to meds as the solution to managing their anxiety, and if so, how did your doctor come to the conclusion that that was the way to go over counselling etc?

axienty

anyone committed med counselling work hi per title tried therapy although completed program cbt know spot thought counter unhelpful emotional thinking etc well knowing various mindfulness technique grounding body scan gone would cost month technically afford better us money spending something feel overall doctor approach wean escitalopram assumption somehow learn manage anxiety without think ever rising even rationalization struggling stay positive sleep question essentially solution managing come conclusion way go

Moderately Positive

Excessive Anxiety when getting text messages, emails, and even Reddit notifications! Wat do? Hello. I take 100 mg Zoloft which helps me a lot. However, I find it doesn’t get me out of a spiral of worry when there there’s notifications, especially when it’s someone who normally doesn’t text me. Now I’m also a student in college (my ex is trying to make me lose my job. He has very poor mental health as well. I feel like this is slowly turning into what Ariana grande Mac Miller situation and how she was wrongfully blamed for his PD ), which is added anxiety. Now therapy is sort of a thing. I start and stop a lot. I’m better when I’ve got a good therapist, but it doesn’t help our schools hospital doesn’t have enough time ( once every three weeks isn’t enough!!!).... What can I do to help my excessive stress response and freaking out about making a mistake, which is unavoidable... I’m open to adjusting medication as well, but I feel like Zoloft is for general happiness! If an anxiety stimulus is strong enough, it cannot help me.

axienty

excessive anxiety getting text message email even reddit notification wat hello take mg zoloft help lot however find get spiral worry especially someone normally also student college ex trying make lose job poor mental health well feel like slowly turning ariana grande mac miller situation wrongfully blamed pd added therapy sort thing start stop better got good therapist school hospital enough time every three week stress response freaking making mistake unavoidable open adjusting medication general happiness stimulus strong cannot

Moderately Positive

Hypochondria/Health Anxiety. Any tips to stop having it? Its 2 AM right now and I’m worrying I have undiagnosed brain cancer I’ll soon be dead from. It doesn’t help that my grandfather died from a brain tumor.

axienty

hypochondria health anxiety tip stop right worrying undiagnosed brain cancer soon dead help grandfather died tumor

Neutral

In the past few months anxiety got the most out of me. Since then, I don’t feel love for my partner. Is that normal? Throwaway account because obvious reasons. I feel guilty that I can’t say ‘I love you’ back most of the time because I simply don’t feel that way. Last years I’ve been working so hard to be someone I am not and right know I lost who I actually am. Most of the time that results in anxiety attacks because of big choices I need to make or I get depressed by disappointing so many people. Since I lost myself, and don’t know who I am, I’m struggling to love myself in the process. Let alone love someone else. But it feels wrong to live life with someone that I don’t have feelings for anymore. Is this normal because I’m focused on myself and this is just part of the process?

axienty

past month anxiety got since feel love partner normal throwaway account obvious reason guilty say back time simply way last year working hard someone right know lost actually result attack big choice need make get depressed disappointing many people struggling process let alone else wrong live life feeling anymore focused part

Neutral

Anxiety with a break up? Hey everyone, let me start by saying I haven't been diagnosed or anything but I plan on seeing a dr soon. I've always been a really anxious person, I had a lot of nervous habits as a child, I've never been great socially, I always worry and feel bad things will happen and I prefer to be alone at home. Looking back I don't know how I didn't see how much it affected my life choices and now I'm almost 40 my life is a mess. Not entirely because of that but I can see it's an issue now. In recent years I really isolated myself to the point I have one friend, no social life, and I don't work but that's because my daughter has issues and needs me around. Anyway, I was recently broken up with by someone I had made my whole world. He never treated me well and it's much better it's over but I'm having a really hard time letting go and moving on. I've been a complete nutcase emotionally which is probably normal but I'm sure it's some kind of obsession more than genuine feelings, and I now have a constant feeling of panic, im hurt and sad sure but mostly I can physically feel this anxious, panicky feeling all the time and now it's even waking me up at night and it's stopping me not thinking about him, Has anyone else experienced that? I'm so desperate to start dealing with it.

axienty

anxiety break hey everyone let start saying diagnosed anything plan seeing dr soon always really anxious person lot nervous habit child never great socially worry feel bad thing happen prefer alone home looking back know see much affected life choice almost mess entirely issue recent year isolated point one friend social work daughter need around anyway recently broken someone made whole world treated well better hard time letting go moving complete nutcase emotionally probably normal sure kind obsession genuine feeling constant panic im hurt sad mostly physically panicky even waking night stopping thinking anyone else experienced desperate dealing

Neutral

I can't bear the thought of losing my mom or brother so much that I want to die before them If I die while we're still living together, it'll kinda be like I'm just drifting into a dreamless sleep and the next day we'll all hang out as usual (though it never comes obviously for me obviously)

axienty

bear thought losing mom brother much want die still living together kinda like drifting dreamless sleep next day hang usual though never come obviously

Neutral

Constantly tensing parts of your body? catching myself with tense shoulders/hands without realizing it, feeling dumb about it maybe its some sort of stimming thing or aspergers as one therapist suggested i might have (and i really dont want to have) but i catch myself literally all the time, even as im typing this, with raised tense shoulders, and if im just using the mouse my other hand is almost clenched. part of it is poor blood circulation and feeling cold but i also feel its anxiety, idk. wondering if anyone else experiences this

axienty

constantly tensing part body catching tense shoulder hand without realizing feeling dumb maybe sort stimming thing aspergers one therapist suggested might really dont want catch literally time even im typing raised using mouse almost clenched poor blood circulation cold also feel anxiety idk wondering anyone else experience

Moderately Negative

Tried to get help but doctor gave me more anxiety (venting) I won't go into too much detail but I had actually made a post on Reddit asking if the doctor was inappropriate due to some comments he made and I got a resounding YES. so I've had to fire him. Now I'm just anxious about waiting another year for help when I'm absolutely bombing my college classes that I'm retaking now because I failed due to anxiety last year!! It feels like a repeat except now instead of wasting just 5 grand it's 10. I can tell I'm not doing well and things with my boyfriend are becoming strained. I feel anxious about that as well because if we break up I essentially have no where to go and he knows that so I often wonder how much he puts up with because he feels sorry for me. He's supporting me while I go to school and we have a lot riding in my passing in order for us to become financially stable. I just desperately wanted a doctor who will know my meds and help me with cbt/dbt but its essentially back to self regulating. I had a really shit childhood and a lot of emotional baggage but I have nowhere to express these problems. I can hardly vent to friends, its far beyond their paygrade. My boyfriend says I only have negative things to say half the time so I've tried to stop bringing it up but I just sometimes want to get it out. Bleh sorry this was just a word vomity mess. I just needed to vent and you guys seem to understand. Thanks if you read.

axienty

tried get help doctor gave anxiety venting go much detail actually made post reddit asking inappropriate due comment got resounding yes fire anxious waiting another year absolutely bombing college class retaking failed last feel like repeat except instead wasting grand tell well thing boyfriend becoming strained break essentially know often wonder put sorry supporting school lot riding passing order u become financially stable desperately wanted med cbt dbt back self regulating really shit childhood emotional baggage nowhere express problem hardly vent friend far beyond paygrade say negative half time stop bringing sometimes want bleh word vomity mess needed guy seem understand thanks read

Moderately Negative

Undiagnosed anxiety? Hello all! I vented a problem I have with overthinking and being sensitive on the relationships advice forum if you guys want a bit of background. But the gist is I worry about past issues that happened a year ago and they cause me to stress out, shake, sweat, and I can’t control it. Am I having a hard time forgiving? Or should I go get checked for a form of anxiety?

axienty

undiagnosed anxiety hello vented problem overthinking sensitive relationship advice forum guy want bit background gist worry past issue happened year ago cause stress shake sweat control hard time forgiving go get checked form

Moderately Negative

How does one 'deal' with social anxiety Abit of context here, i just started my first job in a advertising agency(my dad arranged a job interview without letting me know). I just got off an introductory meeting with the whole staff and i felt like it was sucking the life out of me. I was told to present my portfolio to show what i can do and bring to the team. I can't stand the spotlight, i feel sick in the stomach whenever i do, my mind immediately becomes clouded and i'm unable to think straight. Needless to say, it went badly, i was stuttering alot and i often lose track of what i wanted to say. After the meeting, my supervisor even pulled me aside to lecture me about how unprepared i was. It's only my first day and i already feel like quitting. It was only after the day had ended, i found out that i have social anxiety. I keep getting told that i have to learn to 'deal' with it, but no one ever told me HOW to deal with it???

axienty

one deal social anxiety abit context started first job advertising agency dad arranged interview without letting know got introductory meeting whole staff felt like sucking life told present portfolio show bring team stand spotlight feel sick stomach whenever mind immediately becomes clouded unable think straight needle say went badly stuttering alot often lose track wanted supervisor even pulled aside lecture unprepared day already quitting ended found keep getting learn ever

Moderately Negative

Worry Script Long time lurker. I started going through anxietybc.com tools and I'd heard and read about worry scripts before. I tried it for the first time. I feel my imagination/anxiety really runs free. In this worry script, I lose my job, partner, and end up suicidal. It was pretty intense. I know that it is supposed to be. But should I be doing a debrief or trying to challenge these thoughts? Have other people done worry scripts on their own. Was it helpful?

axienty

worry script long time lurker started going anxietybc com tool heard read tried first feel imagination anxiety really run free lose job partner end suicidal pretty intense know supposed debrief trying challenge thought people done helpful

Moderately Positive

GP Doctor ignoring my requests for help Hi all, long time lurker here but first time poster. I have a question about my general practitioner and if shes purposely ignoring my symptoms and if I should go somewhere else. So I have never talked to a doctor about my anxiety or depression till this month. I havent had insurance in about six years so I finally decided it was time. In the last year I started experiencing what I called being high. I didnt know how to explain my symptoms for a while but now I know its panic attacks. Bouts of dizziness, eye fog, feeling tingly and terrible ear ringing almost constantly. These would last anywhere from an thirty minutes to 4 hours sometimes. I wake up every day and go to sleep with my ears rinding. In the last three months it has become so common that its interfering with my work pretty often. So I found a local female general practitioner and scheduled an appointment. I had to talk my boyfriend out of taking me to the emergency room a few times before my appointment in hopes she'd have some type of answers for me (without the emergency room bill) ​ So I get to my appt, explain to her my symptoms and she started going through the different medications she could put me on, and tried to talk me in to Zoloft. This was before any type of blood work or anything was done. I told her I'm not interested in Zoloft because I'm not comfortable with the side effects and also why would anyone just agree to something to serious without giving it thought? So we agreed we'd do bloodwork to see if anything was off and she'd get back together with me and we'd discuss sending me over to a neurologist to make sure nothing else could be causing these episodes (My mom had a brain tumor so needed to rule that out) ​ So my results show up, nothing is off and theres a note from her asking for me to schedule with her in a YEAR for my yearly appt...nothing else. I called the office so ask for clarification and after some run around the nurse finally told me they were working on scheduling me with their neurologist. ​ Its now been almost a month, I havent heard from any neurologist, nor my doctor about follow ups. I start school in less than a month and am terrified this will cause me even more problems. What do I do? Do I find a different doctor and try again?

axienty

gp doctor ignoring request help hi long time lurker first poster question general practitioner shes purposely symptom go somewhere else never talked anxiety depression till month havent insurance six year finally decided last started experiencing called high didnt know explain panic attack bout dizziness eye fog feeling tingly terrible ear ringing almost constantly would anywhere thirty minute hour sometimes wake every day sleep rinding three become common interfering work pretty often found local female scheduled appointment talk boyfriend taking emergency room hope type answer without bill get appt going different medication could put tried zoloft blood anything done told interested comfortable side effect also anyone agree something serious giving thought agreed bloodwork see back together discus sending neurologist make sure nothing causing episode mom brain tumor needed rule result show there note asking schedule yearly office ask clarification run around nurse working scheduling heard follow ups start school le terrified cause even problem find try

Neutral

Bad anxiety tonight- any methods for relief? I don’t want to have a drink. I’m periodically crying and am constantly shaking. I’m a 28 year-old male.

axienty

bad anxiety tonight method relief want drink periodically cry constantly shaking year old male

Moderately Negative

Work screw up I screwed up at work. I didn’t fess up to it, my boss had to email me about it. I know the email is in my inbox, haven’t read the whole thing. It’s not a fireable offense or anything, but I’m so anxious about it. I have my response crafted in my head, it’s just sitting down and reading the email that is holding me up. does anyone else get anxiety about reading messages?

axienty

work screw screwed fes bos email know inbox read whole thing fireable offense anything anxious response crafted head sitting reading holding anyone else get anxiety message

Neutral

First love at 30 I'm a 30 year old, diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder with agoraphobia. My whole life, I've struggled with loneliness and an inability to maintain friendships. In my twenties, I had a few short term flings and hookups, but never anything that lasted. That just changed. I've been dating a wonderful woman for the last couple of months and in spite of my caution and fears, I've fallen so hard. I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me too! I'm still giddy, I'm in love for the first time ever!! Therapy works. 😁 I just needed to share that with someone, but a little advice would be quite welcome. What are your "must knows" about dating someone with anxiety or dating as an anxious person?

axienty

first love year old diagnosed social anxiety disorder panic agoraphobia whole life struggled loneliness inability maintain friendship twenty short term fling hookup never anything lasted changed dating wonderful woman last couple month spite caution fear fallen hard told loved still giddy time ever therapy work needed share someone little advice would quite welcome must know anxious person

Moderately Positive

I Hid In My Closet During a Fire I’m currently studying at University and having a very difficult time. It’s my fourth semester and I haven’t made any friends that I’ve seen more than two or three times, so I spend the vast majority of my time alone. I live alone now because I had a roommate for two semesters and being that manic and paranoid for a whole year took a massive toll on me. I always had to fall asleep after him and wake up before him. Anyway, today there was a fire in my building. I heard the alarm and wasn’t sure what to do, so I paced around for a bit. I heard people moving through the hallway and I saw people lining up outside, so I shut all my lights off and tried to stay quiet. I stayed in my apartment for half an hour, pacing around, obsessively checking on the people outside, and eventually hiding in a closet in case a firefighter or something came in looking for people. I don’t know anyone in the building and I haven’t gotten any emails or anything about what happened, I smelled smoke for sure but everyone seems to have come back in just fine. However, it was very upsetting for me to realize that I would rather suffocate or burn in a cramped closet alone than stand outside with other people for a little while. It scares me and it really upsets me and I don’t want to be like this but I can’t connect with other people. Even walking down the hallways when no one is there terrifies me because someone could be there and they could see me, or someone inside could hear my footsteps or something. Last semester was very rough and I only got credit for two classes because my anxiety got to a point where I was scared to sleep and leave my apartment and even check my email/texts and look out the window. I stayed inside for 12 days straight at the worst point and I’m very lucky I was able to power through and make up a ton of work and testing for those two classes to still somehow get credit, but nothing has changed since then and I’m scared it’s just going to happen again. I’m awake right now and I’m scared to do my homework which I have a ton of because it almost feels like by doing homework I’m accepting that I’m a part of those classes and I’m going to need to leave my apartment again soon. I’m sorry for ranting and writing so much but I’m very upset and worried and I have no idea what to do

axienty

hid closet fire currently studying university difficult time fourth semester made friend seen two three spend vast majority alone live roommate manic paranoid whole year took massive toll always fall asleep wake anyway today building heard alarm sure paced around bit people moving hallway saw lining outside shut light tried stay quiet stayed apartment half hour pacing obsessively checking eventually hiding case firefighter something came looking know anyone gotten email anything happened smelled smoke everyone seems come back fine however upsetting realize would rather suffocate burn cramped stand little scare really upset want like connect even walking one terrifies someone could see inside hear footstep last rough got credit class anxiety point scared sleep leave check text look window day straight worst lucky able power make ton work testing still somehow get nothing changed since going happen awake right homework almost feel accepting part need soon sorry ranting writing much worried idea

Neutral

25 years ago today my dad committed suicide. We thought everything was fine, normal. My dad gave my mom roses and chocolates, and my dad decided it'd be fun to all go to the movies as a family for Valentine's day. We hauled out the newspaper, selected a movie family-friendly enough (Sommersby with Jodie Foster and Mel Gibson), and everyone got ready to go. About 45 minutes after my dad suggested we all go see a movie, we were ready to walk out the door. "Actually, guys, I'm not feeling that well. Why don't you guys go on and I'll see you when you get back?" We all hemmed and hawed, but my dad clearly just wasn't feeling it, so we decided to just go. We walked out to the garage, waved our goodbyes as we piled in the car, and went off to the theater. The movie sucked and was super sad. None of us really liked it. We came home, and all the lights were off in the house. Huh, that's strange. There were glowing embers in the fireplace, the last remnants of a recent fire. Dad was nowhere to be found, we split up and started looking all throughout the house for him. I went into my parent's bathroom, and there was a videocamera on a tripod facing the mirror. Ok, that's super weird. I found my brother in a spare bedroom inspecting the carpet floor. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was looking for blood. Not having found my dad anywhere, we all somehow converged in the garage. There was one place we hadn't looked--the shed. It was more of a garage closet than an actual shed, but that's what we called it, and that's where he was. My brother threw open the door, and I remember my mom crying out and screaming. My brother screaming. I did not scream. Instead, I threw our cordless phone down on the cement garage floor, breaking it. To this day, I still don't know why I did that, it was a reflex of some sort I suppose. I tried the phone in the kitchen, but because I had broken the cordless, the line was...jammed, I guess? It didn't work, I just got a long angry beeeeeeeeeeeep instead of a dial tone. I remembered my brother had just gotten his own phone line, so I ran into his room and called 911. The police came. The coroner came. He was dead and gone, killing himself with carbon monoxide from the lawnmower in the shed. He had planned this too, meticulously. He had a note pinned to his chest, pleading not to be revived. He killed himself on a Sunday, and on the following Tuesday we all received a letter from him in the mail, that he had mailed out on the previous Friday. The videocamera on the tripod? That was for his apology/goodbye video. I've watched it many times. I remember not recognizing this sobbing, hurt man. He looked like my dad, but he also looked *vastly* different. This tragedy is the ground zero event for my anxiety. Constant fear, constant waiting for the other shoe to drop. Constant worry. My expectations of people were insanely warped, I desperately needed love and acceptance, and I spent literal *decades* doing my best to "get over" his death. Thousands in therapy, medications, all sorts of "tricks" and suggestions. Exercise! Eat better! Write in a journal! Take 10 seconds of deep breaths! No matter what I did, it didn't change the fact that when I was a kid, I thought everything was okay, and suddenly it wasn't. I was terrified at how everything can change in just a flash of a moment, and I thought all I could ever hope to attain was stillness. Motionless time, that didn't tick by because the future was more unpredictable than I felt I could handle. 25 years. It's been 25 years since that horrible day. Valentine's Day was ruined for a good decade or so. Couldn't celebrate it, didn't want to. It just made me sad and guilty. It made me feel like it was *his* day now, and I should be in mourning. I'm 38 now. I still have anxiety, but nowhere near the level it used to be. I developed some nasty OCD symptoms about 8 years ago, which was tied up into my guilt, and with the help of an amazing therapist and support system I was able to free myself from those symptoms and get my intrusive thoughts and general anxiety under control. I have never been happier now. I've worked so hard and come so far, and I'm proud of myself for being able to overcome all of this shit, *somehow*. I have an amazing husband, who I am celebrating Valentine's day with, and have celebrated it with him for the past several years. I know I no longer need to feel guilty, that this isn't his day. His suicide *took* this day from me, this fun sweet day that should be all about love and romance, and made it about himself and his selfish choices. For a long time, I was mad at him for that. But now I just know that he was sick. He was a sick man, who had made some poor choices, and he took a coward's way out. 25 years ago from his suicide, today, I'd just like to announce that I'm better than that. I am better than my father, I am stronger than my father, and I am no longer angry with my father. I pity him? But the anger--that's not eating me up inside anymore. Thanks for reading.

axienty

year ago today dad committed suicide thought everything fine normal gave mom rose chocolate decided fun go movie family valentine day hauled newspaper selected friendly enough sommersby jodie foster mel gibson everyone got ready minute suggested see walk door actually guy feeling well get back hemmed hawed clearly walked garage waved goodbye piled car went theater sucked super sad none u really liked came home light house huh strange glowing ember fireplace last remnant recent fire nowhere found split started looking throughout parent bathroom videocamera tripod facing mirror ok weird brother spare bedroom inspecting carpet floor asked said blood anywhere somehow converged one place looked shed closet actual called threw open remember cry screaming scream instead cordless phone cement breaking still know reflex sort suppose tried kitchen broken line jammed guess work long angry beeeeeeeeeeeep dial tone remembered gotten ran room police coroner dead gone killing carbon monoxide lawnmower planned meticulously note pinned chest pleading revived killed sunday following tuesday received letter mail mailed previous friday apology video watched many time recognizing sobbing hurt man like also vastly different tragedy ground zero event anxiety constant fear waiting shoe drop worry expectation people insanely warped desperately needed love acceptance spent literal decade best death thousand therapy medication trick suggestion exercise eat better write journal take second deep breath matter change fact kid okay suddenly terrified flash moment could ever hope attain stillness motionless tick future unpredictable felt handle since horrible ruined good celebrate want made guilty feel mourning near level used developed nasty ocd symptom tied guilt help amazing therapist support system able free intrusive general control never happier worked hard come far proud overcome shit husband celebrating celebrated past several longer need took sweet romance selfish choice mad sick poor coward way announce father stronger pity anger eating inside anymore thanks reading

Neutral

I’m having an anxiety attack I tried laying down and closing my eyes. I feel my heart racing. I’m on the edge of tears I miss my ex. It’s been 8 months. I don’t know why it’s hitting me like his rn. I feel alone. I feel unworthy. He left me for someone else. I keep flashing through memories I have with him. They won’t stop. They’re memories I’ve been suppressing and purposely not thinking about for months. And it’s overwhelming me. I loved him. I was so happy with him. He loved me. But he left me and now is with someone else. Why am I acting like this? It’s been 8 months. I had been fine. I had been happy. It feels like it was all a dream. That I should wake up and he should be next to me and cuddle me. **EDIT** Thank you everyone. That was the first time I ever had a panic attack. Too much to even explain, but I don’t think it was so much to do with my ex as it was just feeling isolated and alone. Called my brother, and he helped talk me down. Got out of my apartment so I could go socially interact with people. A big wave of relief. Like reaching the shore when you were drowning in the ocean.

axienty

anxiety attack tried laying closing eye feel heart racing edge tear miss ex month know hitting like rn alone unworthy left someone else keep flashing memory stop suppressing purposely thinking overwhelming loved happy acting fine dream wake next cuddle edit thank everyone first time ever panic much even explain think feeling isolated called brother helped talk got apartment could go socially interact people big wave relief reaching shore drowning ocean

Moderately Positive

Anxiety over Altitude Sickness Hey everyone, I’m spending the week in Park City, UT with friends for a ski trip. I’ve started feeling the effects of altitude sickness, and the high altitude was something I worried about immensely going into the trip, and now I fear I will have a panic attack. What can I do to calm down while I’m actively feeling the effects of altitude (shortness of breath, headache, lethargy, chest pain, etc.)

axienty

anxiety altitude sickness hey everyone spending week park city ut friend ski trip started feeling effect high something worried immensely going fear panic attack calm actively shortness breath headache lethargy chest pain etc

Moderately Positive

I went on a job interview today.... AND I didn't at all feel overall anxious or nervous! It helps my friend and I did a fake interview two days before. However, I couldn't really get to sleep last night but when I did, I woke up refreshed and managed not to be stuttering mess. I feel like this is a major improvement for me.

axienty

went job interview today feel overall anxious nervous help friend fake two day however really get sleep last night woke refreshed managed stuttering mess like major improvement

Moderately Negative

Does your anxiety make you eat obsessively and constantly? My anxiety flairs up in different ways. I feel like a big part of my anxiety is trying to distract myself from it. I am a serious nail biter. I bite my nails to the point that they bleed and hurt and I have to put bandaids on all my finger tips. My boyfriend does the dishes because my fingers are so bloody and sore all the time, the dishsoap will sting. Another thing I do is eat, constantly. I can't sit in silence, and i cant just focus on tv or a book or something. It's like I have to constantly be doing two things at once to distract myself from inner pain and anxiousness. So I eat and I feel like I can't stop eating. When I stop eating, I have to be chewing my nails. I've gained 40lbs in the last year, and it's only getting worse. I've tried gum and mints, but I eat the gum and the mints and then continue on to other things. Whenever I get food, like make supper or something, I try to make meals that last a really long time. Like nachos, or fries. I try to eat slow so it will last because the whole time I'm awake I need to be chewing. This is basically ruining my life. I'm getting huge and I hate it and all it does is make me feel worse. Does anyone else do this? Any suggestions? Is this a normal symptom of anxiety? I don't know what to do.

axienty

anxiety make eat obsessively constantly flair different way feel like big part trying distract serious nail biter bite point bleed hurt put bandaids finger tip boyfriend dish bloody sore time dishsoap sting another thing sit silence cant focus tv book something two inner pain anxiousness stop eating chewing gained lb last year getting worse tried gum mint continue whenever get food supper try meal really long nacho fry slow whole awake need basically ruining life huge hate anyone else suggestion normal symptom know

Moderately Negative

The first six months I had her she lived in a cage that could have fit two rats, the next year and a half she lived in a cage that could have fit four rats (this is following the formula where you multiply the dimensions of the cage in inches and divide it by 3456. The result tells you how many rats you can comfortably have in one cage.) I loved buying her new toys and treats and seeing how she took them. Trying new foods on her was one of my favorite things to do. The only issue is that I didn't really let her out of the cage much.

axienty

first six month lived cage could fit two rat next year half four following formula multiply dimension inch divide result tell many comfortably one loved buying new toy treat seeing took trying food favorite thing issue really let much

Moderately Positive

Either I’m imagining bugs or there is really some. Hey guys. ): Bad night for me sadly. 17F here. I have the same bedtime routine, I close off my apartment so my cats can only access the bedroom and bathroom (for litter box) and they cannot access the kitchen or living room. It works out great but that’s not the issue. I walked over to the hallway to close off that door that the bathroom has and I turned on the light to check my AC. Then I turned off the light and turned around to get the cats and I ready for bed, but when I did I noticed some dark/black circle? or shape that I’m gonna call a bug on the doorway/whatever you call it. I’m scared as hell right now and just got off the phone with a friend that was trying to calm me down, and I told him my cat went to the hallway and did not react like he would if there was a bug. I never went back over there to check for myself, I just couldn’t. I was shaking and it felt like I was going to die. I wanted to call my parents but it’s midnight here and what would that do? They’d ignore me anyways... I’m really nervous for when I get up in the morning and have to go grocery shopping and head to class. What if I get up tomorrow and a bug IS there? what do i do? 😕 This ruined my whole day, I’m really scared and just need some reassurance.

axienty

either imagining bug really hey guy bad night sadly bedtime routine close apartment cat access bedroom bathroom litter box cannot kitchen living room work great issue walked hallway door turned light check ac around get ready bed noticed dark black circle shape gonna call doorway whatever scared hell right got phone friend trying calm told went react like would never back shaking felt going die wanted parent midnight ignore anyways nervous morning go grocery shopping head class tomorrow ruined whole day need reassurance

Moderately Positive

Lost opportunity I'll spare the extreme streneous details, but after several months of unemployment I found a job that was willing to pay me well despite my experience. I last one week before I called and quit due to extreme stress and anxiety. Nothing was wrong with the place, however, the moment I was off Friday I couldn't stop thinking about going back and was clouded with doubt and fear. Monday I was literally sick to my stomach..I called in...and quit... They were shocked. The next day I was hooked up with a life coach and a booked a therapist. I'm overcome with shame, guilt, and regret. I feel broken. I don't even feel like praying and my spouse feels lost. Please tell me I'm not alone.

axienty

lost opportunity spare extreme streneous detail several month unemployment found job willing pay well despite experience last one week called quit due stress anxiety nothing wrong place however moment friday stop thinking going back clouded doubt fear monday literally sick stomach shocked next day hooked life coach booked therapist overcome shame guilt regret feel broken even like praying spouse please tell alone

Moderately Negative

The only time I feel good is when I'm gaming/streaming I am struggling lately. I always feel like I'm on the verge of an attack. That build up in your chest right before the hyperventilating starts... It's the most annoying thing to me. The only time I don't feel like this is when I'm gaming and streaming. I can't clean, cook, or accomplish anything outside of the virtual world.. I can't be playing video games all day..but idk what else to do with myself. As soon as I get off the game that pressure comes back and I feel like I can't do anything. Anyone else feel like this? Or am I just insane?

axienty

time feel good gaming streaming struggling lately always like verge attack build chest right hyperventilating start annoying thing clean cook accomplish anything outside virtual world playing video game day idk else soon get pressure come back anyone insane

Moderately Negative

I've been getting more abd more anxious about school. I'm a homeschooler so my education is a little inconsistent, my mom has been stricter on math recently, because my plan is to get a GED when I'm old enough, I need to be 16 where I live to take the test, I've passed 2 different practice tests even with a so-so math credit, I do school at a table with my brother and mom, I always feel stressed out and would much prefer to do school online but I'm too afraid to ask.

axienty

getting abd anxious school homeschooler education little inconsistent mom stricter math recently plan get ged old enough need live take test passed different practice even credit table brother always feel stressed would much prefer online afraid ask

Moderately Negative

Is this normal I always feel like im a fraud and one day im going to get caught out by someone. I’m also tired of my personality changing depending on who I’m around, it’s like I’m made up of different people. I feel like im living just to exist and not doing anything.

axienty

normal always feel like im fraud one day going get caught someone also tired personality changing depending around made different people living exist anything

Moderately Negative

Not really sure what it was... This happened last Friday, even though I've experienced it before, it was never this severe. Let me explain On Friday, we had a meeting in my company, I just recently started on a new position and, we are still meeting and greeting and telling something about ourselves. English is not my native language, but the company I work for is American and English is used for all of the work we do, which makes sense. That is not a problem for me, however, since the interview I had for this position, I noticed something strange is going on with my body whenever I speak in English. This never happened before, sure there was some shyness in the first few sentences when meeting someone new but mostly I cruised through it. Now, on the interview for this new position, everything was perfectly fine until the interviewer asked me a question. I sensed the heart in my chest start to pound like crazy, my palms got sweaty, my voice started shaking and I was overwhelmed with sweat, but I managed to control myself and calm down. After a couple of minutes, we were talking, laughing as if nothing happened to me but, I knew something was wrong with me. This happened again, after I got the position. On the first meeting we had as a team, same thing as described above as we were introducing ourselves. Only this time, after I was done talking, my whole body started to shake. I have never experienced something like that. My head was shaking, my chest, my heart felt as if it's going to burst out of my chest... A cold sweat swept over me. I tried to control it, to calm down but, I think it only got worse. I just lowered my head, feeling ashamed and broken. My body felt alien to me, like I wasn't in control anymore. I remember thinking, what the fuck is going on!? What is happening to me!? Screaming inside me. Wondering how many of my coworkers there noticed it. I was sitting at the middle of the table, of course they noticed. Even the guys on the TV(we use TVs with cameras connected through hangouts to communicate with our offices in the US) seemed freaked out. I've had what I think are panic attacks before in my life but, nothing came even close to this. Is this what a panic/anxiety attack is or is this something else, also, what would you recommend for me to? I also experience light head tremors during social events when trying to drink out of a cup or drink from a glass or trying to eat. Like if I'm surrounded with people I don't know. Not always, depends on the location, who's with me, who's around me.... I would love to hear your thoughts or similar experiences and any advice you have for me.

axienty

really sure happened last friday even though experienced never severe let explain meeting company recently started new position still greeting telling something english native language work american used make sense problem however since interview noticed strange going body whenever speak shyness first sentence someone mostly cruised everything perfectly fine interviewer asked question sensed heart chest start pound like crazy palm got sweaty voice shaking overwhelmed sweat managed control calm couple minute talking laughing nothing knew wrong team thing described introducing time done whole shake head felt burst cold swept tried think worse lowered feeling ashamed broken alien anymore remember thinking fuck happening screaming inside wondering many coworkers sitting middle table course guy tv use camera connected hangout communicate office u seemed freaked panic attack life came close anxiety else also would recommend experience light tremor social event trying drink cup glass eat surrounded people know always depends location around love hear thought similar advice

Moderately Positive

Paranoia about choking/breathing/hyperchondriac Does anyone ever get bad anxiety about choking on food? It got so bad before i was on meds i refused to eat. And also what about the breathing anxiety? Ive had asthma tests that came back clear yet i still carry around an inhaler and use it often. Its exhausting being a hypochondriac. Its been alot better since ive been on citalopram but still manages to creep its way back

axienty

paranoia choking breathing hyperchondriac anyone ever get bad anxiety food got med refused eat also ive asthma test came back clear yet still carry around inhaler use often exhausting hypochondriac alot better since citalopram manages creep way

Moderately Negative

Is it my imagination or not? I get a random feeling when around a lot of people that my mind is being read, and that they know what im thinking. And me, being a teenager going through puberty, i have some pretty... *cough*... sexual thoughts, and i just cant control them, so yea thats *WONDERFUL (If you havent noticed thats sarcasm).* My parents go through my stuff, (Journals, texts, notebooks, search history, watch history, etc) and its caused paranoia, depression, and anxiety. Im always afraid people are reading my mind, or my journals, or texts. My parents will randomly, out of nowhere question me like: "So, \[my name\], whos \_\_\_\_\_\_?" Im lesbian and one time they said "Why did you ask another girl out on a date? Do you hate being a girl? If so, your a disgrace to God." ​ anyways, is it right to fear people are going through my stuff? Will that help me or cause problems? If it causes problems, how can i fix it? (Im already seeing a therapist, but its not helping much)

axienty

imagination get random feeling around lot people mind read know im thinking teenager going puberty pretty cough sexual thought cant control yea thats wonderful havent noticed sarcasm parent go stuff journal text notebook search history watch etc caused paranoia depression anxiety always afraid reading randomly nowhere question like name who lesbian one time said ask another girl date hate disgrace god anyways right fear help cause problem fix already seeing therapist helping much

Neutral

I Just Want To Talk To People; What Am I doing Wrong? Hey everyone I have a lot of trouble getting past the acquaintance stage with people. Despite the fact I'm in university, I never seem to get classmates' numbers, grab a coffee, hang out in dorms, or socialize with others outside of pre-booked activities (like classes). I've tried just about everything I can think of. I've joined different clubs at school relating to my hobbies. I try to speak to people in & outside classes. I've been told numerous times that there's no obvious social faux-pas I'm committing (bad dress/hygiene as an example). I have several decent hobbies, I'm in shape, I think I'm well put together. What gives? As a bit of backstory/reference I suffered from a fair bit of bullying & social isolation in middle school, which led to me (several years later) being diagnosed with moderate/severe social anxiety. I've had a therapist, been on medication, tried CBT, etc.. since. This anxiety makes it much harder for me to "put myself out there", even when doing so is just going to a new club or asking a classmate out for a coffee. Almost more importantly, it has made me seemingly unable to see subtle social clues. I recognize emotions and feelings; if someone loves/hates me, is passionate about something, is being sarcastic, etc... But it's the smaller cues that I do not see or (what I think happens much more often) I don't react to. My best guess is I try to hide my feelings/look nervous, which leads to people think I'm not interested in carrying on conversation/getting their #/whatever. The ironic part is, love talking to people. I'll talk for hours with people about just about anything. Even if the conversation's one-sided. Listening to someone complain about their job or their term papers or their relationship; anything. The other ironic part is; when I'm forced into social situations, I'm fine. Last summer I was volunteering in another continent for 10 days with guys/girls my age, and I hit it off with them. I was perfectly fine in conversation/daily activities with them, and we still keep in contact via WhatsApp. I'm even going to meet up with a few of them this summer. Anyways, what tips/advice can you give me? How can I get over this hump? Another school year has come and gone, yet I feel like my progress has been minimal. PMs are welcome. Cheers P.S. Sorry if my formatting/grammar is shite; I'm currently on mobile.

axienty

want talk people wrong hey everyone lot trouble getting past acquaintance stage despite fact university never seem get classmate number grab coffee hang dorm socialize others outside pre booked activity like class tried everything think joined different club school relating hobby try speak told numerous time obvious social faux pa committing bad dress hygiene example several decent shape well put together give bit backstory reference suffered fair bullying isolation middle led year later diagnosed moderate severe anxiety therapist medication cbt etc since make much harder even going new asking almost importantly made seemingly unable see subtle clue recognize emotion feeling someone love hate passionate something sarcastic smaller cue happens often react best guess hide look nervous lead interested carrying conversation whatever ironic part talking hour anything one sided listening complain job term paper relationship forced situation fine last summer volunteering another continent day guy girl age hit perfectly daily still keep contact via whatsapp meet anyways tip advice hump come gone yet feel progress minimal pm welcome cheer sorry formatting grammar shite currently mobile

Neutral

always scared someone is going to kill me. i told my therapist this issue and she told me it's just anxiety and im not insane; i just always have a fear someone is hiding in my home or going to enter my home and kill me, and it prevents me from sleeping. right now, my boyfriends grandmother is in the hospital so we're staying at her house (in a 55+ community) to care for the dog and the home. my boyfriend left for work and now my anxiety kicked in and woke me up, so i'm just laying here wishing i could fall back asleep but i'm too anxious. is there anyway to manage this easier? and i do have means to protect myself; but im still scared!!

axienty

always scared someone going kill told therapist issue anxiety im insane fear hiding home enter prevents sleeping right boyfriend grandmother hospital staying house community care dog left work kicked woke laying wishing could fall back asleep anxious anyway manage easier mean protect still

Moderately Negative

I'm not comfortable being myself at all Through out my life I have felt incredibly insecure in anything that makes me, me. For example I'm uncomfortable with my laugh, my body, my personality, my interests, my music taste, and just expressing myself in any way shape or form. I have a few ideas as to why this is. First of all I grew up in a home with a highly critical mother, I was always afraid of getting in trouble and I remember feeling like I was the problem as opposed to that I was just a kid who sometimes misbehaved. That on top of the fact that I was homeschooled in my elementary school years and didn't have enough social interaction. When I did enter the school system I was unprepared for how cruel people would be. With this foundation of insecurity I've found that every time I have been criticized or made fun of my confidence just takes another hit leaving my deeper in this place of self loathing and uncomfortability. Because of this I've developed horrible social anxiety. I've had brief times of confidence usually on drugs or alcohol but I've never completely come to a place of being comfortable in myself. I always feel a need to behave a certain way and hide my true self to please others but I think it just makes me come off as disingenuous. How do I go from here? I just wish I could do a reset on my brain so I could forget the subconscious belief that I can't be myself. I don't think I'm naturally a shy and unconfident person.

axienty

comfortable life felt incredibly insecure anything make example uncomfortable laugh body personality interest music taste expressing way shape form idea first grew home highly critical mother always afraid getting trouble remember feeling like problem opposed kid sometimes misbehaved top fact homeschooled elementary school year enough social interaction enter system unprepared cruel people would foundation insecurity found every time criticized made fun confidence take another hit leaving deeper place self loathing uncomfortability developed horrible anxiety brief usually drug alcohol never completely come feel need behave certain hide true please others think disingenuous go wish could reset brain forget subconscious belief naturally shy unconfident person

Moderately Negative

Had a good weekend, went to a movie together the 19th. Feb 22 she started full dose of Zoloft. Feb 23 weekend, we hung out again, but mostly stayed in because I was tired from traveling for work again. She seemed a bit more distant than I'd seen her but still content, and we had a good weekend together. Everything remained normal up til Feb 26 or so, regular texting, sexy texts, etc.

axienty

good weekend went movie together th feb started full dose zoloft hung mostly stayed tired traveling work seemed bit distant seen still content everything remained normal til regular texting sexy text etc

Moderately Positive

Nudexta. Has anyone used it to cope? I heard it has off label usage as a social anxiety medication. Otherwise it is used for MS or Alzheimers patients who display pseudobulbar affect (inappropriate show of emotion). I don't know how to go about asking my psychiatrist since most do not know about its usage in anxiety.

axienty

nudexta anyone used cope heard label usage social anxiety medication otherwise m alzheimers patient display pseudobulbar affect inappropriate show emotion know go asking psychiatrist since

Neutral

I think I may be developing some form of agoraphobic-like (open spaces) anxiety. Sorry if this sounds ridicolous but... for some reason or the other I'm starting to hate going out in open spaces when the sky is clear blue, or I have to walk my dog at night if there are stars. The endless space is all of a sudden scaring the crap out of me, making me feel small and crushed and big at the same time \-\-\> and I sometimes feel like I'll be sucked into the sky. I don't know what to do about this developing "anxiety". I used to have social anxiet in the past, but it's gone now, and up until recently, my life has been hella fine. I'm not sure if I should tell my therapist or my Family about this. I also fear it might lead me to drop going to school, because my way to school has a lot of open spaces, including a courtyard with huge buildings surrounding it. This evening for example, I wanted to walk my dog, but I rushed back inside because I couldn't handle the cloudless sky full of stars. The world also sort of feels like it's spinning around like a rollercoaster, it's making me dizzy and feel weird With my Balance.

axienty

think may developing form agoraphobic like open space anxiety sorry sound ridicolous reason starting hate going sky clear blue walk dog night star endless sudden scaring crap making feel small crushed big time sometimes sucked know used social anxiet past gone recently life hella fine sure tell therapist family also fear might lead drop school way lot including courtyard huge building surrounding evening example wanted rushed back inside handle cloudless full world sort spinning around rollercoaster dizzy weird balance

Neutral

I am not always sure of who i really am!? Am i the only one? Its weird but in my pre anxiety times i never wasted a thought on who i actually am. Everything just came natural and yeah i did behave different in situation but always would say it was a side of me. Now after my anxiety i have these deeper thoughts and often wonder who i actually am? I can have a grest time with friends one night and the next day i would think " was i just acting? Did i really enjoy the time? Dobmy friends actually know who i really am?" i dont know howbto explain. Its like i havent found my true self yet. Im turning 31 soon but ... Hmmm dont know lol...

axienty

always sure really one weird pre anxiety time never wasted thought actually everything came natural yeah behave different situation would say side deeper often wonder grest friend night next day think acting enjoy dobmy know dont howbto explain like havent found true self yet im turning soon hmmm lol

Moderately Positive

Stuck Anxiety/Helplessness I have dealt with anxiety since I was 7-8 and it’s triggered by different things depending on my life at that moment. My anxiety is accompanied with nausea, not being able to eat and racing thoughts. I throw up sometimes but not every time. Lately I feel stuck in life and in situations and worried about others being stuck too. It’s weird to explain and I don’t know how to word it. I’m worried about my mom because she’s clearly in a mid life crisis, I’m worried about my dad because he’s getting old, I’m worried about going back to school next week because I am scared of being stuck there, I am worried about all of my siblings and their life and their mental health, and I feel really scared of losing everyone around me whether to death or something along those lines. I lost an extremely close friend/lover in September and I’ve never dealt with a death before especially one so close and unexpected. When I go back to school we get 5 free counseling sessions so I’ll try that to get all of this out. Does anyone else ever feel “stuck” or helpless? I don’t even know what I’m trying to get unstuck from or how I’ll get stuck or what I need to fix but that’s how it feels. I haven’t even been able to eat dinner or anything. I just wanna throw up and I can’t stop crying

axienty

stuck anxiety helplessness dealt since triggered different thing depending life moment accompanied nausea able eat racing thought throw sometimes every time lately feel situation worried others weird explain know word mom clearly mid crisis dad getting old going back school next week scared sibling mental health really losing everyone around whether death something along line lost extremely close friend lover september never especially one unexpected go get free counseling session try anyone else ever helpless even trying unstuck need fix dinner anything wanna stop cry

Neutral

I usually get arms crossed when talking to people. it sicks me a lot! Any tip? Hi everyone! I am okey with my social anxiety except when I creep people and that makes me a lot of anxious and depressed, because the big and fat GUILT. For some reason a creep people unintentional. If I look at another direction people get bored and ignore me, If I look at them the they cross their arms. If I keep up people get angry at me. I try to be relaxed and blink but it doesn't work. I think I look like a mad person. Please help.

axienty

usually get arm crossed talking people sick lot tip hi everyone okey social anxiety except creep make anxious depressed big fat guilt reason unintentional look another direction bored ignore cross keep angry try relaxed blink work think like mad person please help

Moderately Negative

Does anyone here have experience with using anti-anxiety meds to curb anxiety caused by antidepressants? Hi all, new here. I've been on antidepressants (bupropion and fluoxetine) for a while, and have had some anxiety ever since. Not so bad that I need to get off the meds, because they seem to be working, a little bit I guess. If I can, I think it'd be best to take something else to lessen the anxiety caused by the antidepressants. Is this common? Is this stupid? I don't know. If it isn't, any suggestions based on experience are appreciated. Thanks.

axienty

anyone experience using anti anxiety med curb caused antidepressant hi new bupropion fluoxetine ever since bad need get seem working little bit guess think best take something else lessen common stupid know suggestion based appreciated thanks

Moderately Negative

Anxiety regarding my health... Hoping to find some advice on how to relax. Also looking for reassurance that everything will be okay. It is a bit of a long winded story, so feel free to skip down to the TLDR! So I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I (F25) ate lots of sweets as a kid, skipped some nights of brushing my teeth, and started to grind my teeth when I was in college a couple of years ago. I wore a mouth guard on some nights to try to combat it. I went to the dentist back in the summer of 2017 after not going for 2 years. They told me I had taken some damage from grinding my teeth. I expected it. I was hoping there would only be cavities, but I was told I needed a root canal w/ a crown on a molar. They did it that summer, and did another root canal w/ a crown on another molar of mine half a year later in January 2018. I needed time to save money for other teeth they saw problems with. Fast forward to January of 2019, they crown another of my molars (no RCT on this one). I was told I needed another tooth crowned. I was so distraught at the news. I told them I was going to seek a second opinion from another dentist. I visited another dentist about 2 weeks ago. He did a full oral examination of my teeth, telling me which cavities needed to be retouched a little. Nothing big. He then did an x-ray of my teeth and informed me the first root canal I had done a year and a half ago hasn't healed yet. He also told me the crown I had done recently back in January of this year is not a good fit and is bulky (This could explain the pain I was feeling from this tooth for the past two months, sensitivity to cold drinks and hurts when biting down on food). I am mostly just looking for the light at the end of the tunnel here. My main concerns are that my root canal doesn't heal properly and will have to be retreated (more money and more pain). If that doesn't work, it would have to possibly be extracted and I'd have to get an implant (tons of money). The crowned tooth that is hurting me right now would have to be potential recrowned. If that doesn't work, I'd have to get another root canal... I know it's not the end of the world. I'm lucky I can save up enough money for the treatments I need now. But I am so stressed about how much more I could potentially spend on my teeth. I'm worried about all my root canals failing in the future and needing to replace them all with implants. I am just so worn down, and my thoughts are constantly about my teeth. "Will I be okay? Will the root canal heal? Do I really need more of these?? When will they fail? Will my other cavities turn into crowns and root canals?" Every day I am online looking at dental forums and reaching out to dentists, asking for answers. My anxiety is on full blast as I'm stuck in the middle of all of these procedures. My mind hates not knowing what is to come. I am thinking of the "what ifs" and am creating worst case scenarios in my head... But amidst my thoughts, I realized I also needed to vent and to have a good cry as I type this out. If you fully read this, I can't thank you enough. This is what has been on repeat in my brain for the past couple of months. I've been crying everyday as soon as I get off of work. My anxiety has been terrible. My body has been so tight. My throat gets a bump in it that I can't burp away. I can't catch my breath. If anyone has any advice on how I can be positive, how I can try to get my mind off of everything, or if you've been in a situation like this before, I would love to hear from you. Even if it's just a simple "feel better", it would help me immensely. Thank you. TLDR; I have had two root canals w/ crowns done, have a crowned tooth, and have a couple other cavities. Was recently told one of the root canals is not healing well, and that my crowned tooth might have to get recrowned or have a root canal done on it. I'm stressed out about not knowing what will happen. I'm low on funds. I'm so anxious.

axienty

anxiety regarding health hoping find advice relax also looking reassurance everything okay bit long winded story feel free skip tldr try keep short possible ate lot sweet kid skipped night brushing teeth started grind college couple year ago wore mouth guard combat went dentist back summer going told taken damage grinding expected would cavity needed root canal crown molar another mine half later january time save money saw problem fast forward rct one tooth crowned distraught news seek second opinion visited week full oral examination telling retouched little nothing big ray informed first done healed yet recently good fit bulky could explain pain feeling past two month sensitivity cold drink hurt biting food mostly light end tunnel main concern heal properly retreated work possibly extracted get implant ton hurting right potential recrowned know world lucky enough treatment need stressed much potentially spend worried failing future needing replace worn thought constantly really fail turn every day online dental forum reaching asking answer blast stuck middle procedure mind hate knowing come thinking ifs creating worst case scenario head amidst realized vent cry type fully read thank repeat brain everyday soon terrible body tight throat bump burp away catch breath anyone positive situation like love hear even simple better help immensely healing well might happen low fund anxious

Neutral

Anyone else struggle using public toilets? The most horrible thing about my anxiety is that I really struggle going to the toilet in public. I've been mega desperate before and I just can't go, which is just awful and painful. Gotten to the point, where I purposefully avoid situations where I would need to go in public (Multiple drinks in the pub etc). Does anyone get this? Not sure how common a symptom it is. Also, if anyone does and has found a way to be able to go then please share. I think it's subconscious because I don't feel anxious, but I literally cannot go. I think I've narrowed the trigger down to being aware of other people in the loo - Particularly if they're in the cubicle next to me. I just have no idea how I can go. I'm going on a long flight in a few months which will require me to spend 20+ hours in public (Airports, the airplane etc) and it's terrifying me.

axienty

anyone else struggle using public toilet horrible thing anxiety really going mega desperate go awful painful gotten point purposefully avoid situation would need multiple drink pub etc get sure common symptom also found way able please share think subconscious feel anxious literally cannot narrowed trigger aware people loo particularly cubicle next idea long flight month require spend hour airport airplane terrifying

Moderately Negative

Alcohol induced anxiety I've never had anxiety in my life before. This is something new and it's worrisome. I went on a cruise a few weeks ago and got pretty hammered for the first time in my life. I'm pretty sure I was something close to having alcohol poisoning. I threw up for about six hours and had the shakes. I figured it was a one time bad night of drinking so I shook it off. Now New year's Eve comes around and I get pretty buzzed but not drunk. I didn't have the spins or dizziness but 4 hours after finishing drinking I started to get nauseous and the shakes. I couldn't get to sleep because I was hyperventilating a little and struggled to shake the bad feeling. Despite hydrating and eating breakfast the next day was pretty rough feeling on my stomach. Once again, I figured I drank too much and didn't Pace myself. Recently, I had some bourbon with dinner and about an hour after dinner I feel myself starting to freak out depite the fact I know I can handle one shot of bourbon. I feel pretty helpless and that I can't drink anymore without being sick. I think the horrific experience from the cruise is messing with my mind and making me feel like I'm going to be sick even though I shouldn't be. Anyone have any suggestions or relationship to the symptoms I've been having? Any help is greatly appreciated.

axienty

alcohol induced anxiety never life something new worrisome went cruise week ago got pretty hammered first time sure close poisoning threw six hour shake figured one bad night drinking shook year eve come around get buzzed drunk spin dizziness finishing started nauseous sleep hyperventilating little struggled feeling despite hydrating eating breakfast next day rough stomach drank much pace recently bourbon dinner feel starting freak depite fact know handle shot helpless drink anymore without sick think horrific experience messing mind making like going even though anyone suggestion relationship symptom help greatly appreciated

Moderately Negative

Exercising with Anxiety I have been battling with anxiety for 4 years now and I am finally getting to a point where I am starting to break free of it's chains. However, the last hurdle (if you will) is exercise.. whenever I start to exercise or engage in anything physical my breath becomes very short and i start focusing on my heart rate, which in turn normally leads to me having a panic attack. Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you combat it?

axienty

exercising anxiety battling year finally getting point starting break free chain however last hurdle exercise whenever start engage anything physical breath becomes short focusing heart rate turn normally lead panic attack anyone else dealt combat

Moderately Positive

please help me defeat my anxiety. I can't stop thinking about rejection from my dream job opportunity. I have always loved animals. When I was in pre-school I wanted to be a vet, but I dont think anybody really took it seriously. Not even me. I didn't get the grades for it in High School so for a few years I was a bit lost on what I wanted to do with my life...I have this insane passion and drive to want to help and protect animals and knew that deep down, I wouldn't be happy unless that's what I was doing in my life. After debating going to Vet School or not I finally decided that I would try my best, follow my dreams and not let anxiety hold me back. My first massive step was reaching out to my family vet and asking if I could come in for work experience - they said yes! I was super excited and they seemed to be too. I went in last Tuesday and had a blast. I was lucky enough to see a surgery, ultra sound, dental and even a euthanasia all in one day. After the entire 10hr shift I felt like I could still stay back and help some more. It felt incredible being able to help these animals and seeing other people show such love towards them. This is truly what I would love to be able to do. I left feeling great, I spoke to the Vet (who also owns the clinic) and I confirmed I'd love to be back, he was happy to have me back and said I could sit in on some consults, and since I was doing work experience by myself I was welcome to come as long as I want. He said Brooke (his partner) usually deals with that sort of stuff so to get in contact with her. I sent them an e-mail the following day thanking them and stating that I would love to come back, and hope to arrange another time soon. My problem is I can't shake the feeling they don't want me back. It's been six days and I still haven't heard back from them. I know they are busy, and I can think of a million logical reason as to why she wouldn't have replied back yet - but I can also think of one reason that scares me and it's holding me back from sending a follow up email. I can't bring myself to typing it without tearing up. I can't even talk about it to my boyfriend without my voice shaking. I would consider myself a good writer, I've always helped my friends and family with assignments and writing but I can't bring myself to write another e-mail to the vet without feeling pathetic. I was so, so excited and I feel like this is yet another blow. I can't bring myself to get too excited about things because I'm always let down, I didn't want to be this time but every day that passes that I don't get a reply the more anxious and worried I get. I'd love to be able to write a follow up email letting them know my study plans, the type of cases I'd be most interested in and asking if I could come in on a regular weekly basis but I am having incredible trouble writing it. Our own family dog needs to be brought in for a blood test and vaccine so I'd love to mention that too and maybe ask if I can shadow on that day? I had such a confidence boost yesterday when I remembered how enthusiastic vets are about others wanting to learn about animals and how to care for them, but I am now back in this deep pit of already accepting a negative outcome without any real reason. It's so hard to shake. I have been doing breathing exercises all day but I still can't type the e-mail without my hands shaking. I guess I'm looking for reassurance, or maybe somebody who has had a similar experience. I don't really know... Thank you for those who are reading. I really appreciate this sub.

axienty

please help defeat anxiety stop thinking rejection dream job opportunity always loved animal pre school wanted vet dont think anybody really took seriously even get grade high year bit lost life insane passion drive want protect knew deep happy unless debating going finally decided would try best follow let hold back first massive step reaching family asking could come work experience said yes super excited seemed went last tuesday blast lucky enough see surgery ultra sound dental euthanasia one day entire hr shift felt like still stay incredible able seeing people show love towards truly left feeling great spoke also owns clinic confirmed sit consults since welcome long brooke partner usually deal sort stuff contact sent mail following thanking stating hope arrange another time soon problem shake six heard know busy million logical reason replied yet scare holding sending email bring typing without tearing talk boyfriend voice shaking consider good writer helped friend assignment writing write pathetic feel blow thing every pass reply anxious worried letting study plan type case interested regular weekly basis trouble dog need brought blood test vaccine mention maybe ask shadow confidence boost yesterday remembered enthusiastic others wanting learn care pit already accepting negative outcome real hard breathing exercise hand guess looking reassurance somebody similar thank reading appreciate sub

Moderately Positive

Fixation is a bitch Fixation is fucking awful. I have recently been thinking about getting tested for PCOS, as I line up with quite a few of the symptoms. Not a guarantee, as I have a lot of stress and don't sleep well(also fucks with your hormones) but a strong possibility. I made the mistake of wandering over to the /r/PCOS subreddit, and reading multiple posts about women losing their hair/it thinning on there. I became instantly convinced that I was going to go bald/lose my hair, and spiraled. Had a full panic attack tonight about it. Nevermind that I don't know if I have it/don't know if that symptom will happen to me, I was convinced. I have had a spot of baby hair on my temple since middle school, but I was just knew it would be the death of me. This shit is awful. I'm on the tail end of it now after talking to a friend about it, but I just needed to vent. My mind loves to torture itself over the strangest of things.

axienty

fixation bitch fucking awful recently thinking getting tested pcos line quite symptom guarantee lot stress sleep well also fuck hormone strong possibility made mistake wandering subreddit reading multiple post woman losing hair thinning became instantly convinced going go bald lose spiraled full panic attack tonight nevermind know happen spot baby temple since middle school knew would death shit tail end talking friend needed vent mind love torture strangest thing

Neutral

Starting dose of medication? I recently visited my primary care doc to get a new lexapro rx after being off it for a few years. She just gave me the dose I had last been on (20 mg) and didn’t say anything about working up to it. Should I start by cutting the pills in half or should I be fine starting with 20? Thanks :)

axienty

starting dose medication recently visited primary care doc get new lexapro rx year gave last mg say anything working start cutting pill half fine thanks

Neutral

How can I calm myself down after a misunderstanding with a work security guard got out of hand? Tl;dr - misunderstanding with security at work got out of hand about 8 hours ago and I still can’t calm down. Please help me relax! Well that escalated quickly, and now I’m having trouble turning my red alert mode off! In hindsight, I was at fault. I still need to calm down though. One of my team had some bad news, terrible news in fact. I needed to get him out of the building to get some air. His pass happened to malfunction and he couldn’t get through the turnstile, so I used my pass to swipe him out. Normally I’d never do that, I’m particularly security conscious, but I was worried my guy was going to have a panic attack and or throw up if he didn’t get some space, and the security guards were just sat there not offering any help or advice. It was like that scene from Monsters Inc where the guy shouts “23-19” and all hell breaks loose. Three security guards fly at my guy, I stand between him and them and say, very calmly, my friend here just had some bad personal news. He needs some air, and we’ll be right back to sort out this problem with his pass. “You can’t do that, you can’t do that.” “My friend here is pretty upset, I want to get him outside” “You need to come back in”. A couple more exchanges and I explain what the terrible news is, they back off and go to make a new pass while we walk around the building for a few minutes and agree some next steps for dealing with the bad news. I get told off by the head of security, who backs down when I explain what happened. I ask him to please be very gentle with my guy when he gives him his new pass and not to have a go. That was 8 hours ago. I’m still wired. I’ve been in bed for an hour and it’s not getting any better. Any ideas for how to lower the adrenaline that is apparently still coursing through my body? Thanks. PS - This doesn’t sound like anxiety, certainly not chronic anyway, but you seemed like a sub with relevant experience and knowledge, so sorry for being slightly off topic.

axienty

calm misunderstanding work security guard got hand tl dr hour ago still please help relax well escalated quickly trouble turning red alert mode hindsight fault need though one team bad news terrible fact needed get building air pas happened malfunction turnstile used swipe normally never particularly conscious worried guy going panic attack throw space sat offering advice like scene monster inc shout hell break loose three fly stand say calmly friend personal right back sort problem pretty upset want outside come couple exchange explain go make new walk around minute agree next step dealing told head ask gentle give wired bed getting better idea lower adrenaline apparently coursing body thanks p sound anxiety certainly chronic anyway seemed sub relevant experience knowledge sorry slightly topic

Moderately Positive

I just had a weird panic attack I’ve had panic attacks for years and just now I had a strange one. It should be noted that -I’ve been sick all week and taking antibiotics & a couple of cold medicines -I wasn’t taking my Zoloft because I was taking all the other meds though I started taking Zoloft again today -It was my first day out since I’ve been sick -I’d only eaten breakfast and nothing since -I had a cup of regular coffee -My husband and I are going through a rough patch financially -I need to find a second job but due to anxiety and being sick all week I’ve missed a lot and worry that I won’t get a decent reference -I’m worried about my daughter who also has anxiety and depression I felt jittery all of a sudden like I do if it’s been too long since eating or if I have caffeine. I began to eat an apple but it was hard to chew it and it was acidic. I began to feel derealization and also sad all at once. My stomach cramped and I got the chills for a little. I had a 1/4 dose of my Xanax pill. I’m now in bed with a massager and soup which I do t feel like eating and don’t want to leave my room for the time being. I know this will pass as it has before but it was an odd episode for me. Writing this helped me feel a little better. Just knowing you all are out there makes me feel better. I just let myself cry and I’m going to let this pass, even though I had another spurt of worry thinking about not having any desire to leave my bed-I’m just going to accept that for now and let it pass. I love myself and I deserve to live a life where I can handle anxiety, & I will. It’s just a bump and I’m going to be ok. -

axienty

weird panic attack year strange one noted sick week taking antibiotic couple cold medicine zoloft med though started today first day since eaten breakfast nothing cup regular coffee husband going rough patch financially need find second job due anxiety missed lot worry get decent reference worried daughter also depression felt jittery sudden like long eating caffeine began eat apple hard chew acidic feel derealization sad stomach cramped got chill little dose xanax pill bed massager soup want leave room time know pas odd episode writing helped better knowing make let cry even another spurt thinking desire accept love deserve live life handle bump ok

Moderately Negative

Thoughts since years and they don't stop coming Hey dear anxiety community, ​ one of my biggest problems is that I always think too much, I'll overthink everything and that for years now. When I get no time to think my mind is like a dam, the thoughts get more and more and they tend to flood over. I am currently in a job that's not good for me, but it's just for a short period of time because I am waiting for a place at the university and since I am in retail my thoughts are going insane. Do you have some tips on dealing with that thoughts? Is there some way to calm them down? I hope you have all a great week. =)

axienty

thought since year stop coming hey dear anxiety community one biggest problem always think much overthink everything get time mind like dam tend flood currently job good short period waiting place university retail going insane tip dealing way calm hope great week

Moderately Positive

Did anyone ever have a realization that your anxiety was way worse than you thought? I knew I had anxiety at certain times but only recently have I noticed how much it impacts my life every day. It's almost like the symptoms are so much apart of my interactions with everyone that in my mind it is just who I am, rather than a symptom of anxiety. I'm relieved that I've caught on and started to notice so I can help bring myself back down when it's happening but I'm also scared that I won't be able to and I'll just be this way forever.

axienty

anyone ever realization anxiety way worse thought knew certain time recently noticed much impact life every day almost like symptom apart interaction everyone mind rather relieved caught started notice help bring back happening also scared able forever

Moderately Positive

When your friend thinks you can be better... ​ *Processing gif o5loa2m1htj21...*

axienty

friend think better processing gif loa htj

Positive

What do I do? Hi. I’ve been suffering from OCD for 10 years, and for the past few months (old doctor dropped me because she thought my case was too difficult, had to go cold turkey on medication) I’ve been suffering from severe, debilitating OCD. I have panic attacks while working, driving, going to bed, just living gives me panic. My last medication made me extremely suicidal and I had an attempt in November of last year. Recovering from that attempt, I had to get off the problematic medication myself. My doctor had refused to help me switch to a new medication despite my suicidal ideation. I never wanted to stop medication as I know what life is like without it, but I was put in a situation where it was the only choice. I wish my old doctor could’ve helped me get onto a different medication. Anyway, my OCD has returned to full extremes. I can’t sleep. I can’t function. My mind is just constantly going and going with the obsessive thoughts and I spend (literal) hours a day on the compulsions. I got a new doctor and will be seeing her in a few weeks but everything now is so difficult and seems to be getting terribly worse day by day. I think one day my symptoms are bad, the next day they’re even worse. I live in an unsupportive environment where mental illness is something you can just “stop thinking about and live your life happy!” I had a panic attack while driving today and had to pull over and could not function for 30-45 min. I can’t stand living in constant fear. How do I keep my sanity for another 2-3 weeks.... I’m losing my hope extremely fast.

axienty

hi suffering ocd year past month old doctor dropped thought case difficult go cold turkey medication severe debilitating panic attack working driving going bed living give last made extremely suicidal attempt november recovering get problematic refused help switch new despite ideation never wanted stop know life like without put situation choice wish could helped onto different anyway returned full extreme sleep function mind constantly obsessive spend literal hour day compulsion got seeing week everything seems getting terribly worse think one symptom bad next even live unsupportive environment mental illness something thinking happy today pull min stand constant fear keep sanity another losing hope fast

Moderately Negative

I messed up Hi everyone I've made a genuine mistake and there's going to be consequences and that's not my anxiety talking it's verified. My anxiety is going haywire I feel sick and my chest hurts. I'm so anxious I'm too scared to write out the mistake I made sorry for being cryptic. Right now I'm in the calm before the storm and I don't know how bad it'll be. I know nothing THAT bad will happen but there will be badness. :-( Does anyone hear me? I hate myself right now.

axienty

messed hi everyone made genuine mistake going consequence anxiety talking verified haywire feel sick chest hurt anxious scared write sorry cryptic right calm storm know bad nothing happen badness anyone hear hate

Moderately Negative

Media request Can we start a thread linking what art / music recommendations are helping us individually ? For example I’ve found that whenever I’m anxious looking at Fanelli Francesco paintings really helps me out. Is this a dumb idea?

axienty

medium request start thread linking art music recommendation helping u individually example found whenever anxious looking fanelli francesco painting really help dumb idea

Moderately Negative

My anxiety is low but my chest feels tight and heart feels fast. Even when you have your anxiety managed and under control, can it still peek through sometimes? Like subconsciously?

axienty

anxiety low chest feel tight heart fast even managed control still peek sometimes like subconsciously

Neutral

Emotional numbing I wanted to know if anyone has experienced something similar to what I’m feeling now. I’ve been dealing with OCD and anxiety for a long time now. I’ve tried all different meds and nothing has really worked. My brain always has worries on its mind. It’s gotten to the point now where I have these worries but I don’t feel any anxiety with it. Sad things are happening in my life and I don’t have a sad reaction. I get stressed out and then my body just goes numb. I don’t feel anything. Has this happened to anyone?

axienty

emotional numbing wanted know anyone experienced something similar feeling dealing ocd anxiety long time tried different med nothing really worked brain always worry mind gotten point feel sad thing happening life reaction get stressed body go numb anything happened

Neutral

So I traveled 2 hours to London with a rail replacement and did a 5 hour training course. I dislike London, I really hate rail replacement services and new places get my anxiety real high. Did it though, just need to get home now :) Also we've got a cool new thing for our flat and knowledge on how to make more :)

axienty

traveled hour london rail replacement training course dislike really hate service new place get anxiety real high though need home also got cool thing flat knowledge make

Neutral

I don't know how to deal with my social anxiety anymore. Lately I've just been cutting myself off from people and generally just not putting myself out there because I'm too afraid that people will judge me. I barely even go out of the house right now and I just wish I could find other people to play games with because I'm severely burning out on them. Sorry for the rant post I'm just overwhelmed right now

axienty

know deal social anxiety anymore lately cutting people generally putting afraid judge barely even go house right wish could find play game severely burning sorry rant post overwhelmed

Moderately Negative

Image issues I guess I just need to vent. I constantly feel like I am not attractive enough. I always always want to lose more weight despite the fact that everyone one I know tells me I am skinny. As a matter of fact, they make comments about it regularly. One guy said I am one the skinniest people he knows, they say I need to eat something, I need more meat on my bones. I swear I can see a look of relief on my mom's face when I eat "bad" foods and always pushes me to eat more. A girl I was with told me she was with me cause she likes skinny guys. Whenever I joke about how fat I am they all give me these bizzare looks like I lost my mind ( maybe I have). I am an 18 year old male, 6 foot. Was 245 pounds, am down to 165 or so. Everyone always asks me how. Diet and exercise? Some of it was but most of it was by not eating whenever I could get away with it and purging when I couldn't. I still purge every few days. I feel like just a fucking fraud when people ask me how I lost the weight. Because I lost it in a bit more than a year and a half everyone of course wants to know how. This obsession with my weight is driving me insane. I logically know I am fine and it makes no sense but I can't shake it. When I see someone with a similar weight and build as me I would think they don't need to lose weight but I see myself as fat. I would never judge someone for their weight if they had a healthy bmi. I think having a little meat on your bones is healthy and something I find attractive. But on me, an ounce of fat is unacceptable. And it isn't like I am unattractive to other people. No one has ever told me so. I have been with 4 people in the last 4 months. I get constant matches on tinder but I never feel good enough. I am killing myself purging in order to lose a few more pounds. I swear I am going to have a freaking heart attack at 22 from the stress I am putting my body under. I know it is awful for you but I just need to be better. Just a bit thinner. I do 200 pushups, squats, and sit ups a day. When will it be enough for me. I know this isn't healthy, these thoughts are not helpful but I can't stop

axienty

image issue guess need vent constantly feel like attractive enough always want lose weight despite fact everyone one know tell skinny matter make comment regularly guy said skinniest people say eat something meat bone swear see look relief mom face bad food push girl told cause whenever joke fat give bizzare lost mind maybe year old male foot pound asks diet exercise eating could get away purging still purge every day fucking fraud ask bit half course obsession driving insane logically fine sense shake someone similar build would think never judge healthy bmi little find ounce unacceptable unattractive ever last month constant match tinder good killing order going freaking heart attack stress putting body awful better thinner pushup squat sit ups thought helpful stop

Neutral

Job anxiety I’m new to anxiety. I’ve always had a bit, and it runs in my family, but I thought I’d escaped the family curse. Not so much. I took a break from work, thinking I’d clear my head and then find something pretty easily. I didn’t. It was a pretty difficult 8 months where I waffled between starting my own business, interviewing and doing consulting. I finally took a job and it was terrible. I vomited every morning from anxiety and dread. I worked 18 hours a day because if I wasn’t working, I was having painful anxiety about work. I lost a ton of weight. I couldn’t eat. I genuinely felt like anxiety just took over my entire life. Because I’d never experienced this level of anxiety, I assumed it was the job. I switched jobs. The new place is a better fit, job wise anyway. It’s a little better, but I’m still having anxiety. I still vomit some mornings. I’m still getting into repeat patterns about getting fired and failing. I have some social anxiety and I’ve never had that before either. It’s like I’m a completely different human. Part of my anxiety has been dealing with my ADHD. I got drugs for that, hoping I’d eliminate one of the stressors. It’s sort of helped, but there’s still the vomit. I’m afraid my anxiety about losing my job is actually going to cause me to lose my job. I don’t think I can afford therapy right now. Any resources people can recommend? Has anyone tried online CBT?

axienty

job anxiety new always bit run family thought escaped curse much took break work thinking clear head find something pretty easily difficult month waffled starting business interviewing consulting finally terrible vomited every morning dread worked hour day working painful lost ton weight eat genuinely felt like entire life never experienced level assumed switched place better fit wise anyway little still vomit getting repeat pattern fired failing social either completely different human part dealing adhd got drug hoping eliminate one stressor sort helped afraid losing actually going cause lose think afford therapy right resource people recommend anyone tried online cbt

Neutral

Found out I'm on academic suspension after attending 4 classes c: My GPA suffered last semester because i wasn't in a good mental state the last few months. With work, finding out my parents are trying to sell our place and just trying my best to not let my thoughts and emotions drown me I wasn't focusing on my studies like I should've. Even with the good things about finally getting my mum to accept I have mental issues and seeking out help (2nd counselor i seeked out was really helpful and cool. Super intelligent and instead of asking me why I felt the way i feel he just straight up explained what parts in the brain were causing this) I'm freaking out because I don't want to lie to my parents about not being able to study for a semester but also because I just found out today and they're gonna assume I knew before hand. My parents are reasonably supportive but studies is one thing they're hard on (they want me to be a professional and post sec is expensive). I don't want to lie to them but at the same time I'm scared that me telling them will destroy the good mood they've been in the last few days. I also don't want to lie because it'll be a lot worse once they find out. Just when I finally was able to regain my balance, I get knocked back down.

axienty

found academic suspension attending class gpa suffered last semester good mental state month work finding parent trying sell place best let thought emotion drown focusing study like even thing finally getting mum accept issue seeking help nd counselor seeked really helpful cool super intelligent instead asking felt way feel straight explained part brain causing freaking want lie able also today gonna assume knew hand reasonably supportive one hard professional post sec expensive time scared telling destroy mood day lot worse find regain balance get knocked back

Moderately Positive

pretty sure i'm going Crazy... So I know that the title sounds overdramatic but for a lack of a better phrase I really don't know how else to describe what I'm going through. And fyi this is going to be a long post because I've really never fully expressed how I'm feeling and going thru so my apologies if I ramble. Within the past year, I was clinically diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety although I feel like that I've been depressed since like middle school because I genuinely can't remember when I haven't had this perpetual feeling of unhappiness underlying everything that I go through on a daily basis. Despite these feelings, I was EXTREMELY involved in my church and school growing up and have played sports all of my life. I held many leadership positions in the programs I partook in like being a captain of my football team, president of youth organizations in church, the whole shebang. I come from a low middle class family but still extremely privileged none the less ( I grew up in Naperville, Il for christ sake). All in all, I was a very social kid. But then as I went off to college, one of the top 5 schools in the country it all started to go downhill. (I'm not trying to brag I just want to explain that objectively I really have nothing to be sad about) I played a sport and tried to get involved yet I never got along with the majority of the student population, probably due to the fact that I am inherently a shy dude and I've always downplayed my own strengths so I always unnecessarily felt inadequate in most interactions. Anyways, these constant failures in these social interactions simply made me feel like weirdo that no one wanted to talk to, making me hyper-conscious of everything I do in ALL social interactions even when having convos with my family (one of my siblings goes to school with me). I retreated to my apt and rarely went outside somedays missing classes and barely got involved in student organizations out of fear. previously smoked weed everyday as an escape from my own mind. I became so self-concious that I started to appear really spacy and "high" all the time because I can never take my mind off of how dumb I think I sound/appear with literally every person I talk to. Essentially increasing my depressed feelings and initiated my onset of anxiety. I stopped smoking last year because of this reason and because it started making me more anxious (heart palpitations, racing thoughts, panic attacks, etc). I'm in above average shape and I get compliments about being handsome all the time but yet I have zero confidence in anything I do. It's literally gotten to the point where I can barely speak in complete sentences at times and started developing auditory hallucinations where I can hear the voices of people I know in my head clear as day beratting me on everything I do throughout the day and especially before I go to bed. The voices are all of people that I actually know. For example, I went camping 2 weeks ago and I could literally hear a friend of mine screaming to me about all the wrong things I'm doing with my life keeping me from sleeping. Even though I know she would never do that. (It was a girls voice and I was in a tent with 2 dudes in the middle of a freaking forest like 5 states away) I'm a senior now, fixing to graduate this spring and yet I feel like my social skills have regressed to that of a child. I can barely focus on anything anymore let alone homework because of how fast my mind is racing with all of these thoughts and still not have the energy and right mindset to do anything about it because, of course, depression. How can I expect to get a job and sustain myself knowing all of this?? I talked to my parents and started seeing a psychiatrist and therapist to help me recover but due to my constant habit of pushing everyone and anyone away out of some stupid self-loathing pity, I rarely go to my sessions now either. It's like as soon as I start recovering I instantly digress, knowing that I shouldn't but I can't control it anymore. I've been trying some CBT and meditation techniques my therapist suggested but it seems to be futile at this point. It's not like I'm looking for affirmations either, I just want to be able to live comfortably with myself. I feel trapped and isolated from the world to the point where I only feel 'okay' when I'm sleeping, i.e. away from reality. I'm not suicidal, although I don't really cling to life at all at this point, I just don't know what to do with my life anymore that honestly doesn't seem worth all of this pain. I know this is super long and probably hella incoherent but thanks for taking the time out to read about my woes. TD;RL: I've been dealing with socially crippling depression and anxiety that is making me go mad and burn bridges with everyone I know. Despite my privileged background I can't seem to get over my overbearing feelings of inadequacy, which makes my life hell literally 24/7.

axienty

pretty sure going crazy know title sound overdramatic lack better phrase really else describe fyi long post never fully expressed feeling thru apology ramble within past year clinically diagnosed severe depression anxiety although feel like depressed since middle school genuinely remember perpetual unhappiness underlying everything go daily basis despite extremely involved church growing played sport life held many leadership position program partook captain football team president youth organization whole shebang come low class family still privileged none le grew naperville il christ sake social kid went college one top country started downhill trying brag want explain objectively nothing sad tried get yet got along majority student population probably due fact inherently shy dude always downplayed strength unnecessarily felt inadequate interaction anyways constant failure simply made weirdo wanted talk making hyper conscious even convos sibling retreated apt rarely outside somedays missing barely fear previously smoked weed everyday escape mind became self concious appear spacy high time take dumb think literally every person essentially increasing initiated onset stopped smoking last reason anxious heart palpitation racing thought panic attack etc average shape compliment handsome zero confidence anything gotten point speak complete sentence developing auditory hallucination hear voice people head clear day beratting throughout especially bed actually example camping week ago could friend mine screaming wrong thing keeping sleeping though would girl tent freaking forest state away senior fixing graduate spring skill regressed child focus anymore let alone homework fast energy right mindset course expect job sustain knowing talked parent seeing psychiatrist therapist help recover habit pushing everyone anyone stupid loathing pity session either soon start recovering instantly digress control cbt meditation technique suggested seems futile looking affirmation able live comfortably trapped isolated world okay reality suicidal cling honestly seem worth pain super hella incoherent thanks taking read woe td rl dealing socially crippling mad burn bridge background overbearing inadequacy make hell

Neutral

I don’t understand the club Here now. The music is loud. The people are awkward and I’m really hot. I don’t like this

axienty

understand club music loud people awkward really hot like

Moderately Negative

Taking anti-anxiety drugs irregularly? Hey, everyone! I've had anxiety for a few years now, mostly I think because I don't go out much and don't like to socialize. Recently I had a presentation for my bachelor's, which I was extremely anxious for and was contemplating not going at all, but then I thought whatever happens happens and decided to drink some alcohol before going, since alcohol relaxes your nerves, I would take some meds if I could get them. I have to say drinking worked really well, I had absolutely no anxiety before or during the presentation. This got me thinking that I could get some anti-anxiety medication and take it only in cases where it's extremely needed like a job interview a conference or something like that, basically using it irregularly without a plan. Of course it's not the ideal solution, because there are situations where you are surrounded by people all day so you need to be anxiety free all day, but if that's not the case this might be a decent solution. This could help you not get as addicted and not have as many side effects. Thoughts? Maybe some experience?

axienty

taking anti anxiety drug irregularly hey everyone year mostly think go much like socialize recently presentation bachelor extremely anxious contemplating going thought whatever happens decided drink alcohol since relaxes nerve would take med could get say drinking worked really well absolutely got thinking medication case needed job interview conference something basically using without plan course ideal solution situation surrounded people day need free might decent help addicted many side effect maybe experience

Moderately Positive

i really don't know what do to well, this is the thing today was my first day in university and to be honest, i was really excited because i have a huge passion for my career. The classes were amazing and the teachers too. Even with all of that, my anxiety didn't go away. I spend two years in treatment, trying my best to not feel like this. And when i thought i was getting better, things started to turn bad. I was crying after my first class. The reason? I have to do presentations and group projects, just think about it made me have a panic attack. Second class the same. But nobody noticed, i was hiding my teary eyes, it was so pathetic. I feel ashamed of being such a coward two years and nothing, i'm clearly a lost case. I really want to study, but i'm afraid of people seeing me cry in front of them. They will surely think i'm a weird person, my hands shake violently, my voice breaks, my breath accelerate, i dont want that. I'm studying psychology. I want to help people like me because having a mental illness is a hell, so..... i'm afraid of not being able to do that or do something awful that i will probably regret. But i don't see another solution now. (sorry for this mess, english is not my first language and also, this is my first post here)

axienty

really know well thing today first day university honest excited huge passion career class amazing teacher even anxiety go away spend two year treatment trying best feel like thought getting better started turn bad cry reason presentation group project think made panic attack second nobody noticed hiding teary eye pathetic ashamed coward nothing clearly lost case want study afraid people seeing front surely weird person hand shake violently voice break breath accelerate dont studying psychology help mental illness hell able something awful probably regret see another solution sorry mess english language also post

Neutral