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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting POST: Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try. Backstory: When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact. Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down. His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid. So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting\n\nPOST: Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try. \n\nBackstory:\nWhen I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact. \n\nNow: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down. \n\nHis friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid. \n\nSo I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_1hxu8s
relationships
I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting
Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try. Backstory: When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact. Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down. His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid. So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions.
I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him?
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: SV & NSV! Keeping on keeping on. POST: 30F, 5'6". SW: 236 GW: 150 CW: 219 I weigh myself weekly and measure myself monthly. I'd hit a plateau the last four weeks or so where I was stuck at 222. Felt like kind of a bummer, but knew it's because I haven't been as strict as I should with my diet, and the last week and a half have been crazy with life things, so I haven't been exercising as frequently as I've gotten used to. When I weighed myself as normal on Monday, I was kind of disappointed to see the scale not budging and figured it was time to buckle down again and really watch my diet. Today was my measure-in day, and I've felt cruddy in general since Monday because I caught some chest congestion/cold bug over the weekend. I get on the scale...it says 219. Whaaaaat? I take my measurements, which are down slightly from last month, and with an total-body loss of 8 inches from my starting point on 12/23/14! Some of my clothes have been feeling a bit looser as of late and now I know it's just not in my head. I'm now the lightest and smallest I've been since right around high school! TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/loseit\n\nTITLE: SV & NSV! Keeping on keeping on.\n\nPOST: 30F, 5'6\". SW: 236 GW: 150 CW: 219\n\nI weigh myself weekly and measure myself monthly. I'd hit a plateau the last four weeks or so where I was stuck at 222. Felt like kind of a bummer, but knew it's because I haven't been as strict as I should with my diet, and the last week and a half have been crazy with life things, so I haven't been exercising as frequently as I've gotten used to. When I weighed myself as normal on Monday, I was kind of disappointed to see the scale not budging and figured it was time to buckle down again and really watch my diet. Today was my measure-in day, and I've felt cruddy in general since Monday because I caught some chest congestion/cold bug over the weekend. I get on the scale...it says 219. Whaaaaat? I take my measurements, which are down slightly from last month, and with an total-body loss of 8 inches from my starting point on 12/23/14! Some of my clothes have been feeling a bit looser as of late and now I know it's just not in my head. I'm now the lightest and smallest I've been since right around high school!\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Progress is still happening, even when you think it might not be! Don't get discouraged, even if your journey seems to be going slowly. Don't give up, warriors.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_33lz18
loseit
SV & NSV! Keeping on keeping on.
30F, 5'6". SW: 236 GW: 150 CW: 219 I weigh myself weekly and measure myself monthly. I'd hit a plateau the last four weeks or so where I was stuck at 222. Felt like kind of a bummer, but knew it's because I haven't been as strict as I should with my diet, and the last week and a half have been crazy with life things, so I haven't been exercising as frequently as I've gotten used to. When I weighed myself as normal on Monday, I was kind of disappointed to see the scale not budging and figured it was time to buckle down again and really watch my diet. Today was my measure-in day, and I've felt cruddy in general since Monday because I caught some chest congestion/cold bug over the weekend. I get on the scale...it says 219. Whaaaaat? I take my measurements, which are down slightly from last month, and with an total-body loss of 8 inches from my starting point on 12/23/14! Some of my clothes have been feeling a bit looser as of late and now I know it's just not in my head. I'm now the lightest and smallest I've been since right around high school!
Progress is still happening, even when you think it might not be! Don't get discouraged, even if your journey seems to be going slowly. Don't give up, warriors.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19F] with my friend [19M] 10 months, Insecurities - Show or Tell? POST: What are your stories about insecurities you've had in past relationships? How have you dealt with them, particularly the ones that you can't hide? I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've realized that there is someone who likes me, and I'm interested in them, too. Frankly, the only reason I'm not asking them out is because I know that I have some insecurities that need to be worked through - particularly in the realm of body image. While I'm confident in the rest of my body, I've had terrible, awful acne both on my arms and breasts since I was very young. It's a special type with no complete cure, but doctors suggested that I keep my skin oiled until it goes away (dryness irritates it). Because of this it's not so much present anymore as large clusters of scars are. Would I warn someone about this upfront before anything sexual? Would I just let it surprise them when the clothes come off? Do I tell them "Let's keep on my shirt for now" while we do our business? Have you had experiences with anything similar? I want to hear how they went! TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [19F] with my friend [19M] 10 months, Insecurities - Show or Tell?\n\nPOST: What are your stories about insecurities you've had in past relationships? How have you dealt with them, particularly the ones that you can't hide?\n\nI'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've realized that there is someone who likes me, and I'm interested in them, too. Frankly, the only reason I'm not asking them out is because I know that I have some insecurities that need to be worked through - particularly in the realm of body image. While I'm confident in the rest of my body, I've had terrible, awful acne both on my arms and breasts since I was very young. It's a special type with no complete cure, but doctors suggested that I keep my skin oiled until it goes away (dryness irritates it). Because of this it's not so much present anymore as large clusters of scars are.\n\nWould I warn someone about this upfront before anything sexual? Would I just let it surprise them when the clothes come off? Do I tell them \"Let's keep on my shirt for now\" while we do our business? \n\nHave you had experiences with anything similar? I want to hear how they went!\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My skin is scarred badly; what could I do/say about it that would gross my future partner out the least? What's your experience with body image issues?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_38a85h
relationships
Me [19F] with my friend [19M] 10 months, Insecurities - Show or Tell?
What are your stories about insecurities you've had in past relationships? How have you dealt with them, particularly the ones that you can't hide? I'm not currently in a relationship, but recently I've realized that there is someone who likes me, and I'm interested in them, too. Frankly, the only reason I'm not asking them out is because I know that I have some insecurities that need to be worked through - particularly in the realm of body image. While I'm confident in the rest of my body, I've had terrible, awful acne both on my arms and breasts since I was very young. It's a special type with no complete cure, but doctors suggested that I keep my skin oiled until it goes away (dryness irritates it). Because of this it's not so much present anymore as large clusters of scars are. Would I warn someone about this upfront before anything sexual? Would I just let it surprise them when the clothes come off? Do I tell them "Let's keep on my shirt for now" while we do our business? Have you had experiences with anything similar? I want to hear how they went!
My skin is scarred badly; what could I do/say about it that would gross my future partner out the least? What's your experience with body image issues?
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: Prioritize student debt or saving for down payment? POST: I have $25k in student debt. One private loan at 9.5% (highest priority obviously) and nine others federal between 3.4% and 6.8%. Minimum payment per month total is $301.16. Over the next 9 months, I will pay off $11k of these, which will get rid of everything above 5% interest and will drop the total minimum payment to $150. At the end of the 9 months, our savings will be around $35k. At that time my husband will need to purchase a car so some of that will be his down payment. So more realistically $25-30k. Sometime in the future, between a year to two years from now, my husband and I may be moving. Typical single family homes in this area go for around $300k. At the end of the 9 months, should I continue to focus on paying down student debt (which will be a balance of $14k by then) or growing our savings/down payment? I have $5200/mo to somehow split between debt and down payment and I'm not sure how best to allocate it. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance\n\nTITLE: Prioritize student debt or saving for down payment?\n\nPOST: I have $25k in student debt. One private loan at 9.5% (highest priority obviously) and nine others federal between 3.4% and 6.8%. Minimum payment per month total is $301.16. Over the next 9 months, I will pay off $11k of these, which will get rid of everything above 5% interest and will drop the total minimum payment to $150. \n\nAt the end of the 9 months, our savings will be around $35k. At that time my husband will need to purchase a car so some of that will be his down payment. So more realistically $25-30k. \n\nSometime in the future, between a year to two years from now, my husband and I may be moving. Typical single family homes in this area go for around $300k. \n\nAt the end of the 9 months, should I continue to focus on paying down student debt (which will be a balance of $14k by then) or growing our savings/down payment? I have $5200/mo to somehow split between debt and down payment and I'm not sure how best to allocate it.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "$14k in student debt (all <5%) and need to save more for down payment on a ~$300k house. How to allocate $5200/mo between the two?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2as12n
personalfinance
Prioritize student debt or saving for down payment?
I have $25k in student debt. One private loan at 9.5% (highest priority obviously) and nine others federal between 3.4% and 6.8%. Minimum payment per month total is $301.16. Over the next 9 months, I will pay off $11k of these, which will get rid of everything above 5% interest and will drop the total minimum payment to $150. At the end of the 9 months, our savings will be around $35k. At that time my husband will need to purchase a car so some of that will be his down payment. So more realistically $25-30k. Sometime in the future, between a year to two years from now, my husband and I may be moving. Typical single family homes in this area go for around $300k. At the end of the 9 months, should I continue to focus on paying down student debt (which will be a balance of $14k by then) or growing our savings/down payment? I have $5200/mo to somehow split between debt and down payment and I'm not sure how best to allocate it.
$14k in student debt (all <5%) and need to save more for down payment on a ~$300k house. How to allocate $5200/mo between the two?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My[25m] girlfriend [24f] is only nice and pleasant when I'm aloof and distant. (9 months) POST: Throwaway I noticed the more I'm cold and distant towards my girlfriend, the more pleasant she becomes. She'll come over and clean my apartment, do laundry, dishes and cook for me, even as far as to offer oral favors while I'm drinking a beer! She seems completely happy and content during this time, which makes me happy and I naturally want to do things back for her. As soon as I start doing her favors, she picks fights and complains nonstop. Latest issue was I offered to take her and her mom to dinner. She kept giving me shit about how I'm going to be spending too much time with my brother (who's visiting for a week soon), which she was totally fine with when I was being distant with her. She'll call me a bitch in a joking way, and just take the piss out of me whenever I'm kind or go out of my way to apologize. This naturally makes me feel cold and indifferent toward her. Once she senses that, she's all about making me the happiest boyfriend and apologizes for all the shit she was giving me the week previously. It's a vicious cycle but I'm not sure what to do here. I've brought this up with her and she recognizes it and has no solution. She just "feels differently towards me sometimes" and can't explain it. **So what do I do here? Do I keep up the aloof, distant attitude to keep her interested or suffer her negging in kindness, my default setting. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My[25m] girlfriend [24f] is only nice and pleasant when I'm aloof and distant. (9 months)\n\nPOST: Throwaway\n\nI noticed the more I'm cold and distant towards my girlfriend, the more pleasant she becomes. She'll come over and clean my apartment, do laundry, dishes and cook for me, even as far as to offer oral favors while I'm drinking a beer! \n\nShe seems completely happy and content during this time, which makes me happy and I naturally want to do things back for her. As soon as I start doing her favors, she picks fights and complains nonstop. Latest issue was I offered to take her and her mom to dinner. She kept giving me shit about how I'm going to be spending too much time with my brother (who's visiting for a week soon), which she was totally fine with when I was being distant with her. She'll call me a bitch in a joking way, and just take the piss out of me whenever I'm kind or go out of my way to apologize. \n\nThis naturally makes me feel cold and indifferent toward her. Once she senses that, she's all about making me the happiest boyfriend and apologizes for all the shit she was giving me the week previously. It's a vicious cycle but I'm not sure what to do here. I've brought this up with her and she recognizes it and has no solution. She just \"feels differently towards me sometimes\" and can't explain it.\n\n**So what do I do here? Do I keep up the aloof, distant attitude to keep her interested or suffer her negging in kindness, my default setting.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "GF is a meanie-bo-beanie when I'm nice, and an absolute doll when I'm uninterested. Sex is bomb and she's the hottest I've ever dated. What do?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2bzi1g
relationships
My[25m] girlfriend [24f] is only nice and pleasant when I'm aloof and distant. (9 months)
Throwaway I noticed the more I'm cold and distant towards my girlfriend, the more pleasant she becomes. She'll come over and clean my apartment, do laundry, dishes and cook for me, even as far as to offer oral favors while I'm drinking a beer! She seems completely happy and content during this time, which makes me happy and I naturally want to do things back for her. As soon as I start doing her favors, she picks fights and complains nonstop. Latest issue was I offered to take her and her mom to dinner. She kept giving me shit about how I'm going to be spending too much time with my brother (who's visiting for a week soon), which she was totally fine with when I was being distant with her. She'll call me a bitch in a joking way, and just take the piss out of me whenever I'm kind or go out of my way to apologize. This naturally makes me feel cold and indifferent toward her. Once she senses that, she's all about making me the happiest boyfriend and apologizes for all the shit she was giving me the week previously. It's a vicious cycle but I'm not sure what to do here. I've brought this up with her and she recognizes it and has no solution. She just "feels differently towards me sometimes" and can't explain it. **So what do I do here? Do I keep up the aloof, distant attitude to keep her interested or suffer her negging in kindness, my default setting.
GF is a meanie-bo-beanie when I'm nice, and an absolute doll when I'm uninterested. Sex is bomb and she's the hottest I've ever dated. What do?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me 28 F with guy I'm dating 30 M - 1 month, Is it okay to ask if everything is okay or am I being pushy? POST: I have been dating this guy for 1 month now and everything was great until last Sunday when I noticed he wasn't responding to my text with the same flirty, cute, enthusiastic text that he usually would. He used to call me baby, babe but since last Sunday he has said none of those words and texting has been less and communication has been less. He invited me over last night to watch a movie so I went over and I think we had one conversation the whole night, it was how my day was. He never even tried to start a conversation after the movie and he has never asked if he could get high in front of me until today which I was totally fine with but I thought it was weird that the whole time we hung out before he never smoked in front of me. I am not sure if he's getting comfortable or he just doesn't care anymore? Anyways, as he was walking me out to my car I asked him if everything was okay because he has been acting different. His only response was, "Yes, I'm fine" and then it got awkward and I left in my car. Do you think I am being pushy or too clingy asking that question? I regret asking it right after I asked it because it makes me feel like I have low self-esteem for this relationship. Maybe I just worry too much but it has been eating at me. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me 28 F with guy I'm dating 30 M - 1 month, Is it okay to ask if everything is okay or am I being pushy?\n\nPOST: I have been dating this guy for 1 month now and everything was great until last Sunday when I noticed he wasn't responding to my text with the same flirty, cute, enthusiastic text that he usually would. He used to call me baby, babe but since last Sunday he has said none of those words and texting has been less and communication has been less.\n\nHe invited me over last night to watch a movie so I went over and I think we had one conversation the whole night, it was how my day was. He never even tried to start a conversation after the movie and he has never asked if he could get high in front of me until today which I was totally fine with but I thought it was weird that the whole time we hung out before he never smoked in front of me. I am not sure if he's getting comfortable or he just doesn't care anymore? \n\nAnyways, as he was walking me out to my car I asked him if everything was okay because he has been acting different. His only response was, \"Yes, I'm fine\" and then it got awkward and I left in my car. \n\nDo you think I am being pushy or too clingy asking that question? I regret asking it right after I asked it because it makes me feel like I have low self-esteem for this relationship. Maybe I just worry too much but it has been eating at me.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I asked guy I have been dating for a month if everything was okay and now I regret it because I think it makes me look pushy /clingy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_552pxf
relationships
Me 28 F with guy I'm dating 30 M - 1 month, Is it okay to ask if everything is okay or am I being pushy?
I have been dating this guy for 1 month now and everything was great until last Sunday when I noticed he wasn't responding to my text with the same flirty, cute, enthusiastic text that he usually would. He used to call me baby, babe but since last Sunday he has said none of those words and texting has been less and communication has been less. He invited me over last night to watch a movie so I went over and I think we had one conversation the whole night, it was how my day was. He never even tried to start a conversation after the movie and he has never asked if he could get high in front of me until today which I was totally fine with but I thought it was weird that the whole time we hung out before he never smoked in front of me. I am not sure if he's getting comfortable or he just doesn't care anymore? Anyways, as he was walking me out to my car I asked him if everything was okay because he has been acting different. His only response was, "Yes, I'm fine" and then it got awkward and I left in my car. Do you think I am being pushy or too clingy asking that question? I regret asking it right after I asked it because it makes me feel like I have low self-esteem for this relationship. Maybe I just worry too much but it has been eating at me.
I asked guy I have been dating for a month if everything was okay and now I regret it because I think it makes me look pushy /clingy.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Is it weird that this turned me off from my gf? POST: The other day my girlfriend(23 years old) and myself(22 years old) were talking and she revealed to me that she almost didn't date me because I was too short (5'7"-5'8"). She is only about 5'5". Now she loves me a lot and thinks I am the best thing to ever happen to her but for some reason, learning about this, really turned me off. I have never associated height with anything other than how tall is someone, but apparently people associate height with strength, power, attractiveness and other stuff that has nothing to do with height. Is it bad of me to want to break up with her for this shallow view? I know its kinda shallow of me but I am extremely turned off by this. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Is it weird that this turned me off from my gf?\n\nPOST: The other day my girlfriend(23 years old) and myself(22 years old) were talking and she revealed to me that she almost didn't date me because I was too short (5'7\"-5'8\"). She is only about 5'5\". Now she loves me a lot and thinks I am the best thing to ever happen to her but for some reason, learning about this, really turned me off. I have never associated height with anything other than how tall is someone, but apparently people associate height with strength, power, attractiveness and other stuff that has nothing to do with height. Is it bad of me to want to break up with her for this shallow view?\n\nI know its kinda shallow of me but I am extremely turned off by this.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Gf said she almost didn't date me because I was too short. Now I am really turned off by her.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_fss6j
relationships
Is it weird that this turned me off from my gf?
The other day my girlfriend(23 years old) and myself(22 years old) were talking and she revealed to me that she almost didn't date me because I was too short (5'7"-5'8"). She is only about 5'5". Now she loves me a lot and thinks I am the best thing to ever happen to her but for some reason, learning about this, really turned me off. I have never associated height with anything other than how tall is someone, but apparently people associate height with strength, power, attractiveness and other stuff that has nothing to do with height. Is it bad of me to want to break up with her for this shallow view? I know its kinda shallow of me but I am extremely turned off by this.
Gf said she almost didn't date me because I was too short. Now I am really turned off by her.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen) POST: Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal. When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc. It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen)\n\nPOST: Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.\n\nWhen I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.\n\nIt's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_3mcrjk
relationships
I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen)
Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal. When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc. It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole?
Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Advice givers of this subreddit please help me (18m) out. Please and thank you:) POST: So recently I listened to the song Feel Again by OneRepublic. GREAT SONG. But it got me thinking: "is my heart numb? Am I a lonely soul?" All my friends tell me I am basically Ted Mosby (for those of u who are himym fans...) but I have seriously never been in a relationship and have always been friendzoned which is fine ya get used to it. But I have a couple girl friends (note the space) and theyre each awesome and I don't want to feel like I am choosing I just want to be head over heels for one. What do I do?! It is the summer before college and while I know it is a mistake to try to be in anything serious before college I feel like its one of those things where you just gotta take the leap. Can anyone help me here? I am sorry for making you read so much... TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Advice givers of this subreddit please help me (18m) out. Please and thank you:)\n\nPOST: So recently I listened to the song Feel Again by OneRepublic. GREAT SONG. But it got me thinking: \"is my heart numb? Am I a lonely soul?\" All my friends tell me I am basically Ted Mosby (for those of u who are himym fans...) but I have seriously never been in a relationship and have always been friendzoned which is fine ya get used to it. But I have a couple girl friends (note the space) and theyre each awesome and I don't want to feel like I am choosing I just want to be head over heels for one. What do I do?! It is the summer before college and while I know it is a mistake to try to be in anything serious before college I feel like its one of those things where you just gotta take the leap. Can anyone help me here? I am sorry for making you read so much...\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think I might like two girls at once. Don't want to; just want to be head over heels for one. Do I do anything before college?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_38mtrj
relationships
Advice givers of this subreddit please help me (18m) out. Please and thank you:)
So recently I listened to the song Feel Again by OneRepublic. GREAT SONG. But it got me thinking: "is my heart numb? Am I a lonely soul?" All my friends tell me I am basically Ted Mosby (for those of u who are himym fans...) but I have seriously never been in a relationship and have always been friendzoned which is fine ya get used to it. But I have a couple girl friends (note the space) and theyre each awesome and I don't want to feel like I am choosing I just want to be head over heels for one. What do I do?! It is the summer before college and while I know it is a mistake to try to be in anything serious before college I feel like its one of those things where you just gotta take the leap. Can anyone help me here? I am sorry for making you read so much...
I think I might like two girls at once. Don't want to; just want to be head over heels for one. Do I do anything before college?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive POST: My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible. Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week. I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs. I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now. I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive\n\nPOST: My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.\n\nAlthough, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week. \n\nI'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs. \n\nI've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my \"tone\" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now. \nI want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_4gbnkb
relationships
Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive
My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible. Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week. I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs. I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now. I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy.
how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him?
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: I'm just really tired right now... POST: I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point. I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest\n\nTITLE: I'm just really tired right now...\n\nPOST: I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.\nI am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_1e42z5
offmychest
I'm just really tired right now...
I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point. I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out.
I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: How to deal with questioning everything? POST: 23/f here and SO is 26/m. Together for 1.5 yrs and living together for 5 months. My sister just recently got married and I can't tell if the thoughts I am having are because I'm imaging their relationship to be something it isn't or if I'm in a LTR with someone that is really not suited for me in the long term. Their relationship is a seeming fairytale: they met, moved in together in a house he already owned, everything is neat and organized, they have a beautiful dog, great friends and love each other deeply. Her husband is very dependable and sweet. This is not to say my relationship is horrible. My boyfriend is loving, kind and has always been there for me. We have disappeared into our relationship though - we don't really have a friend group. Both of us are at miserable minimum wage jobs trying to fund a move out of the town we went to school in. He's only interested in moving certain places but really doesn't have a plan for the future. He's never missed a bill payment or anything - but our life is not stable financially. I'm currently attempting to go back to school/send out resumes. Sometimes I think I can marry him. He is amazing but does have a serious flaw when it comes to drinking. I've had to give him an ultimatum if he comes back home drunk and angry for the final time - it's over. I can't raise children with someone like that. So far he's been fine, no slip ups..but I constantly worry about him and I hate that. So I was sitting there looking at my sister and couldn't help but think - should I aim for that kind of relationship? Am I over-thinking mine? If he purposes (as he's hinted), would I regret saying yes? Am I still just naive and thinking that not everyone has issues and really ours aren't that bad? I feel bad for having these thoughts, but at the same time I don't know what to do about them. I know my life is in a transitional phase and maybe I'm yearning for some stability..but I just don't know what to do? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice\n\nTITLE: How to deal with questioning everything?\n\nPOST: 23/f here and SO is 26/m. Together for 1.5 yrs and living together for 5 months.\n\nMy sister just recently got married and I can't tell if the thoughts I am having are because I'm imaging their relationship to be something it isn't or if I'm in a LTR with someone that is really not suited for me in the long term.\n\nTheir relationship is a seeming fairytale: they met, moved in together in a house he already owned, everything is neat and organized, they have a beautiful dog, great friends and love each other deeply. Her husband is very dependable and sweet.\n\nThis is not to say my relationship is horrible. My boyfriend is loving, kind and has always been there for me. We have disappeared into our relationship though - we don't really have a friend group. Both of us are at miserable minimum wage jobs trying to fund a move out of the town we went to school in. He's only interested in moving certain places but really doesn't have a plan for the future. He's never missed a bill payment or anything - but our life is not stable financially. I'm currently attempting to go back to school/send out resumes.\n\nSometimes I think I can marry him. He is amazing but does have a serious flaw when it comes to drinking. I've had to give him an ultimatum if he comes back home drunk and angry for the final time - it's over. I can't raise children with someone like that. So far he's been fine, no slip ups..but I constantly worry about him and I hate that.\nSo I was sitting there looking at my sister and couldn't help but think - should I aim for that kind of relationship? Am I over-thinking mine? If he purposes (as he's hinted), would I regret saying yes? Am I still just naive and thinking that not everyone has issues and really ours aren't that bad?\n\nI feel bad for having these thoughts, but at the same time I don't know what to do about them. I know my life is in a transitional phase and maybe I'm yearning for some stability..but I just don't know what to do?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Witnessing a different kind of relationship is making me question mine. I don't know whether this is all in my head or I'm onto something", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_12n77s
relationship_advice
How to deal with questioning everything?
23/f here and SO is 26/m. Together for 1.5 yrs and living together for 5 months. My sister just recently got married and I can't tell if the thoughts I am having are because I'm imaging their relationship to be something it isn't or if I'm in a LTR with someone that is really not suited for me in the long term. Their relationship is a seeming fairytale: they met, moved in together in a house he already owned, everything is neat and organized, they have a beautiful dog, great friends and love each other deeply. Her husband is very dependable and sweet. This is not to say my relationship is horrible. My boyfriend is loving, kind and has always been there for me. We have disappeared into our relationship though - we don't really have a friend group. Both of us are at miserable minimum wage jobs trying to fund a move out of the town we went to school in. He's only interested in moving certain places but really doesn't have a plan for the future. He's never missed a bill payment or anything - but our life is not stable financially. I'm currently attempting to go back to school/send out resumes. Sometimes I think I can marry him. He is amazing but does have a serious flaw when it comes to drinking. I've had to give him an ultimatum if he comes back home drunk and angry for the final time - it's over. I can't raise children with someone like that. So far he's been fine, no slip ups..but I constantly worry about him and I hate that. So I was sitting there looking at my sister and couldn't help but think - should I aim for that kind of relationship? Am I over-thinking mine? If he purposes (as he's hinted), would I regret saying yes? Am I still just naive and thinking that not everyone has issues and really ours aren't that bad? I feel bad for having these thoughts, but at the same time I don't know what to do about them. I know my life is in a transitional phase and maybe I'm yearning for some stability..but I just don't know what to do?
Witnessing a different kind of relationship is making me question mine. I don't know whether this is all in my head or I'm onto something
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome. POST: So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together. And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome.\n\nPOST: So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together. \n\nAnd I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_29gdvm
relationships
Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome.
So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together. And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it?
I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21M] with my GF [19F] of 2,5 years. She wants to pay me for helping her with her accounting studies, but I don't want her to POST: Hello fellow redditors, we've been together for 2,5 years and everything is more than perfect :) She is sitting here with me and we will both provide our perspectives. We are enrolled in a similar business administration program, but at different universities and I'm one year ahead. She is struggling right now with her accounting class in which I was pretty good at. She asked me if I could give her tutoring lessons before her exam and obviously I agreed. It would come down to approx. 8-10 hours, which I'm perfectly fine with. My (21M) perspective: Here's the issue: she wants to pay me. I told her that I don't need to be paid and that I'd do it for free since relationships are also about helping each other. Plus, I enjoy it when I can help her with anything since we're spending time together and she's feeling better about the subject, which makes me feel good. She wants to pay me about 10$/hour which is a ridiculous amount of money for this small favor. Her perspective: In my opinion he will put more effort in to it when knowing that he get's something from it. I would like to keep it in a professional way so it's effective at the end. I feel like it's a win-win situation for both of us since I would pay way more for a stranger giving me tutoring lessons and he can use the money to have fun. Knowing myself, the whole thing won't be that relaxed and I want to give him something for bearing the situation ;). And the end I'd feel bad if he spends so much time studying with me if he could spend the time doing something else. Also I can't give him anything like this in return since he's a year ahead and won't have any questions I can answer. We both know that this is not a real problem, we just want some insight of you guys. Thanks in advance! :) TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [21M] with my GF [19F] of 2,5 years. She wants to pay me for helping her with her accounting studies, but I don't want her to\n\nPOST: Hello fellow redditors,\n\nwe've been together for 2,5 years and everything is more than perfect :) \n\nShe is sitting here with me and we will both provide our perspectives.\n\nWe are enrolled in a similar business administration program, but at different universities and I'm one year ahead. She is struggling right now with her accounting class in which I was pretty good at. She asked me if I could give her tutoring lessons before her exam and obviously I agreed. It would come down to approx. 8-10 hours, which I'm perfectly fine with.\n\nMy (21M) perspective:\nHere's the issue: she wants to pay me. I told her that I don't need to be paid and that I'd do it for free since relationships are also about helping each other. Plus, I enjoy it when I can help her with anything since we're spending time together and she's feeling better about the subject, which makes me feel good. She wants to pay me about 10$/hour which is a ridiculous amount of money for this small favor. \n\nHer perspective:\nIn my opinion he will put more effort in to it when knowing that he get's something from it. I would like to keep it in a professional way so it's effective at the end. I feel like it's a win-win situation for both of us since I would pay way more for a stranger giving me tutoring lessons and he can use the money to have fun. Knowing myself, the whole thing won't be that relaxed and I want to give him something for bearing the situation ;). And the end I'd feel bad if he spends so much time studying with me if he could spend the time doing something else. Also I can't give him anything like this in return since he's a year ahead and won't have any questions I can answer. \n\nWe both know that this is not a real problem, we just want some insight of you guys.\n\nThanks in advance! :)\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My GF wants to pay for helping her with her accounting class, but I don't want to get paid since I think that something like this should be expected in a relationship. Both perspectives are provided in the post.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2pzfya
relationships
Me [21M] with my GF [19F] of 2,5 years. She wants to pay me for helping her with her accounting studies, but I don't want her to
Hello fellow redditors, we've been together for 2,5 years and everything is more than perfect :) She is sitting here with me and we will both provide our perspectives. We are enrolled in a similar business administration program, but at different universities and I'm one year ahead. She is struggling right now with her accounting class in which I was pretty good at. She asked me if I could give her tutoring lessons before her exam and obviously I agreed. It would come down to approx. 8-10 hours, which I'm perfectly fine with. My (21M) perspective: Here's the issue: she wants to pay me. I told her that I don't need to be paid and that I'd do it for free since relationships are also about helping each other. Plus, I enjoy it when I can help her with anything since we're spending time together and she's feeling better about the subject, which makes me feel good. She wants to pay me about 10$/hour which is a ridiculous amount of money for this small favor. Her perspective: In my opinion he will put more effort in to it when knowing that he get's something from it. I would like to keep it in a professional way so it's effective at the end. I feel like it's a win-win situation for both of us since I would pay way more for a stranger giving me tutoring lessons and he can use the money to have fun. Knowing myself, the whole thing won't be that relaxed and I want to give him something for bearing the situation ;). And the end I'd feel bad if he spends so much time studying with me if he could spend the time doing something else. Also I can't give him anything like this in return since he's a year ahead and won't have any questions I can answer. We both know that this is not a real problem, we just want some insight of you guys. Thanks in advance! :)
My GF wants to pay for helping her with her accounting class, but I don't want to get paid since I think that something like this should be expected in a relationship. Both perspectives are provided in the post.
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: I think I'm trapped in nasty triangle and don't know how to proceed, some advice would be really appreciated. POST: I (male, 19) met this girl at collge (19 too) a couple of months ago. At the moment I met her, nothing really special happened between us happened, we just chatted a bit and left as early friends. Then, I entered college (the same where she studies) and we started to connect faster; we have a lot in common, we're both interested in culture and knowledge, and we often tend to play around and have a good time together. Then I found out that a friend of mine (let's call him A) has liked her since before I knew her, about 8 months or so ago. She didn't liked him back, and supposedly they settled as friends. However, it seems that he is still trying something, and whenever I try to be playful with her he seems very uncomfortable about it. Also, I've been supsecting that she likes another friend of mine; but I'm not certain of that. What should I do? I would love to move forward with this girl, but I don't want to hurt any of my friends or her, in any case. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice\n\nTITLE: I think I'm trapped in nasty triangle and don't know how to proceed, some advice would be really appreciated.\n\nPOST: I (male, 19) met this girl at collge (19 too) a couple of months ago. At the moment I met her, nothing really special happened between us happened, we just chatted a bit and left as early friends.\n\nThen, I entered college (the same where she studies) and we started to connect faster; we have a lot in common, we're both interested in culture and knowledge, and we often tend to play around and have a good time together.\n\nThen I found out that a friend of mine (let's call him A) has liked her since before I knew her, about 8 months or so ago. She didn't liked him back, and supposedly they settled as friends. However, it seems that he is still trying something, and whenever I try to be playful with her he seems very uncomfortable about it.\n\nAlso, I've been supsecting that she likes another friend of mine; but I'm not certain of that.\n\nWhat should I do? I would love to move forward with this girl, but I don't want to hurt any of my friends or her, in any case.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I like this girl. A friend of mine likes this girl. This girl doesn't likes him back. This girl might like another friend, although I'm not sure of that. How do I proceed?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_q3sop
dating_advice
I think I'm trapped in nasty triangle and don't know how to proceed, some advice would be really appreciated.
I (male, 19) met this girl at collge (19 too) a couple of months ago. At the moment I met her, nothing really special happened between us happened, we just chatted a bit and left as early friends. Then, I entered college (the same where she studies) and we started to connect faster; we have a lot in common, we're both interested in culture and knowledge, and we often tend to play around and have a good time together. Then I found out that a friend of mine (let's call him A) has liked her since before I knew her, about 8 months or so ago. She didn't liked him back, and supposedly they settled as friends. However, it seems that he is still trying something, and whenever I try to be playful with her he seems very uncomfortable about it. Also, I've been supsecting that she likes another friend of mine; but I'm not certain of that. What should I do? I would love to move forward with this girl, but I don't want to hurt any of my friends or her, in any case.
I like this girl. A friend of mine likes this girl. This girl doesn't likes him back. This girl might like another friend, although I'm not sure of that. How do I proceed?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [M20] met a girl [F20] who i really like while backpacking europe and i dont know what to do. POST: I met her initially in berlin, where I only got to spend a day with her. I instantly knew there was something between us, I didnt know what but we just clicked strait away. I would have stayed there longer just to be with her if I could have. I met with her again a few months later In london. We spent another 3 days together and I learned we have so much in common. Like a creepy amount in common. Almost all the same interests and hobbies. We had an amazing night out that ended with us sharing a bed and the next day we just spent time together talking. We've arranged to spend another 10 days together next week, just the 2 of us, and I've never been more excited for anything in my life. I havnt been able to stop thinking about her since we last seperated. Were both not the most experienced with relationships (mostly me) so I'm finding it hard to tell her how I feel. But I'm sure I'll find a way next time we meet. I don't even know why Im posting this. Just to help me think I guess. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [M20] met a girl [F20] who i really like while backpacking europe and i dont know what to do.\n\nPOST: I met her initially in berlin, where I only got to spend a day with her. I instantly knew there was something between us, I didnt know what but we just clicked strait away. I would have stayed there longer just to be with her if I could have.\n\nI met with her again a few months later In london. We spent another 3 days together and I learned we have so much in common. Like a creepy amount in common. Almost all the same interests and hobbies. We had an amazing night out that ended with us sharing a bed and the next day we just spent time together talking.\n\n We've arranged to spend another 10 days together next week, just the 2 of us, and I've never been more excited for anything in my life. I havnt been able to stop thinking about her since we last seperated.\n\nWere both not the most experienced with relationships (mostly me) so I'm finding it hard to tell her how I feel. But I'm sure I'll find a way next time we meet. \n\nI don't even know why Im posting this. Just to help me think I guess.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Met a girl while traveling, trying to figure out a way we can spend more time together and how to tell her how I feel.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_506j75
relationships
I [M20] met a girl [F20] who i really like while backpacking europe and i dont know what to do.
I met her initially in berlin, where I only got to spend a day with her. I instantly knew there was something between us, I didnt know what but we just clicked strait away. I would have stayed there longer just to be with her if I could have. I met with her again a few months later In london. We spent another 3 days together and I learned we have so much in common. Like a creepy amount in common. Almost all the same interests and hobbies. We had an amazing night out that ended with us sharing a bed and the next day we just spent time together talking. We've arranged to spend another 10 days together next week, just the 2 of us, and I've never been more excited for anything in my life. I havnt been able to stop thinking about her since we last seperated. Were both not the most experienced with relationships (mostly me) so I'm finding it hard to tell her how I feel. But I'm sure I'll find a way next time we meet. I don't even know why Im posting this. Just to help me think I guess.
Met a girl while traveling, trying to figure out a way we can spend more time together and how to tell her how I feel.
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs TITLE: [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup POST: I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.   He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).   Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner   Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/dogs\n\nTITLE: [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup\n\nPOST: I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus (\"Rome\" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.\n\n \n\nHe isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy \"look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!\" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite). \n\n \n\nDogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner\n\n \n\nThen, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say \"no dogs allowed\" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July??", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_4q1ipr
dogs
[HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup
I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.   He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).   Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner   Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day.
HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July??
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do? POST: I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke. It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left). I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said. The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do?\n\nPOST: I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.\n\nIt was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).\n\nI ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said \"She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine.\" The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.\n\nThe whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_3uf4g1
relationships
I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do?
I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke. It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left). I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said. The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless.
Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable.
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: [GA] My ex is in possession of illegal pictures of me and won't delete them POST: I originally posted in /r/relationships, but I was told to also post here. So, I'm 16/F, and I was dating my ex for two years (I was 14 when he was 17, now I'm 16 and he's 19). During that time he was verbally and sexually abusive and often threatened me so I would send explicit photos, which I foolishly did. Ever since the breakup he's been destructive, coming to my house and my school uninvited and sending me text messages. But recently he told me he still has all of the pictures I sent him, and he won't delete them even though I've asked and warned him of the dangers of possession of those images. What I want to know is, what can I do? I have no proof that he threatened for the pictures because it was over the course of two years, we've been separated for half a year, and we've both gotten new phones so the text history just isn't there. Furthermore, can I be brought down with him for taking the pictures and sending them? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice\n\nTITLE: [GA] My ex is in possession of illegal pictures of me and won't delete them\n\nPOST: I originally posted in /r/relationships, but I was told to also post here.\n\nSo, I'm 16/F, and I was dating my ex for two years (I was 14 when he was 17, now I'm 16 and he's 19). During that time he was verbally and sexually abusive and often threatened me so I would send explicit photos, which I foolishly did.\n\nEver since the breakup he's been destructive, coming to my house and my school uninvited and sending me text messages. But recently he told me he still has all of the pictures I sent him, and he won't delete them even though I've asked and warned him of the dangers of possession of those images.\n\nWhat I want to know is, what can I do? I have no proof that he threatened for the pictures because it was over the course of two years, we've been separated for half a year, and we've both gotten new phones so the text history just isn't there. Furthermore, can I be brought down with him for taking the pictures and sending them?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "dated a guy for two years, crazy destructive ex still has pictures of me and I'm not legal. What can I do?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2b7zgh
legaladvice
[GA] My ex is in possession of illegal pictures of me and won't delete them
I originally posted in /r/relationships, but I was told to also post here. So, I'm 16/F, and I was dating my ex for two years (I was 14 when he was 17, now I'm 16 and he's 19). During that time he was verbally and sexually abusive and often threatened me so I would send explicit photos, which I foolishly did. Ever since the breakup he's been destructive, coming to my house and my school uninvited and sending me text messages. But recently he told me he still has all of the pictures I sent him, and he won't delete them even though I've asked and warned him of the dangers of possession of those images. What I want to know is, what can I do? I have no proof that he threatened for the pictures because it was over the course of two years, we've been separated for half a year, and we've both gotten new phones so the text history just isn't there. Furthermore, can I be brought down with him for taking the pictures and sending them?
dated a guy for two years, crazy destructive ex still has pictures of me and I'm not legal. What can I do?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (F27) ex-FWB (M26) lied about being single; he's married. Need help with rational response. POST: I used the reddit search function and couldn't find this question. We met 6 years ago, FWB off and on for about 3 years. We live (now) in different states. We'd travel periodically to see each other and meet up in hotels or my house, sexting etc. I asked him several times if he is single, lives alone before any 'benefits.'Always got an affirmative answer. I was always single, too. I didn't question the hotel thing at the time because we both love hotels and sightseeing and it was always more covenient. (Now I see how convenient it really was for him!) I broke things off 2 weeks ago though because I couldn't ignore weird vibes anymore. Finally googled his name and city and got clear proof he's been married for 2 years. I was out of the country at the time of his marriage and we were not in contact. He knows I wouldn't help anyone cheat, I assume that's why he lied. Is there any good reason to tell this dude at this point I know he was lying and cheating? I'm absolutely confrontational when needed, but I don't want to make this decision based on anger instead of rational thought. This is where I need your help because I'm VERY angry! Last time I was physically intimate with him was 6 months ago; I got tested about 2 months ago, all clear. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My (F27) ex-FWB (M26) lied about being single; he's married. Need help with rational response.\n\nPOST: I used the reddit search function and couldn't find this question. \n\nWe met 6 years ago, FWB off and on for about 3 years. We live (now) in different states. We'd travel periodically to see each other and meet up in hotels or my house, sexting etc. I asked him several times if he is single, lives alone before any 'benefits.'Always got an affirmative answer. I was always single, too. I didn't question the hotel thing at the time because we both love hotels and sightseeing and it was always more covenient. (Now I see how convenient it really was for him!) I broke things off 2 weeks ago though because I couldn't ignore weird vibes anymore. Finally googled his name and city and got clear proof he's been married for 2 years. I was out of the country at the time of his marriage and we were not in contact. \n\nHe knows I wouldn't help anyone cheat, I assume that's why he lied. Is there any good reason to tell this dude at this point I know he was lying and cheating? I'm absolutely confrontational when needed, but I don't want to make this decision based on anger instead of rational thought. This is where I need your help because I'm VERY angry! \n\nLast time I was physically intimate with him was 6 months ago; I got tested about 2 months ago, all clear.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "turns out my ex-fwb was married, lied to me about it, I found out, do I tell him I know? ", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_16h35a
relationships
My (F27) ex-FWB (M26) lied about being single; he's married. Need help with rational response.
I used the reddit search function and couldn't find this question. We met 6 years ago, FWB off and on for about 3 years. We live (now) in different states. We'd travel periodically to see each other and meet up in hotels or my house, sexting etc. I asked him several times if he is single, lives alone before any 'benefits.'Always got an affirmative answer. I was always single, too. I didn't question the hotel thing at the time because we both love hotels and sightseeing and it was always more covenient. (Now I see how convenient it really was for him!) I broke things off 2 weeks ago though because I couldn't ignore weird vibes anymore. Finally googled his name and city and got clear proof he's been married for 2 years. I was out of the country at the time of his marriage and we were not in contact. He knows I wouldn't help anyone cheat, I assume that's why he lied. Is there any good reason to tell this dude at this point I know he was lying and cheating? I'm absolutely confrontational when needed, but I don't want to make this decision based on anger instead of rational thought. This is where I need your help because I'm VERY angry! Last time I was physically intimate with him was 6 months ago; I got tested about 2 months ago, all clear.
turns out my ex-fwb was married, lied to me about it, I found out, do I tell him I know?
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Has anyone ever gone batshit crazy before, and how did you patch your life back after that? POST: *First time posting on Reddit. Been lurking for awhile and thought this a much merry place to be.* For context, I have been suffering from depression for the last few years. And as a reaction to depression, I did get pretty angry for awhile, and lashed out at people close to me. I'll call that my "batshit crazy" period. I lost some friends and a best friend (who wasn't there for me when I was down and whom I still think failed at being a best friend anyway). I was also even the crazy ex at one stage. It also happened to coincide with the GFC so work was hard to find, and admittedly being down did not help the job-hunting process. Anyway, things got better when I moved away from family members who were instrumental in bringing me down, and when I finally got a proper GP diagnosis that vindicated how down I had been feeling. And it got MUCH better since I started going onto meds. Plus, after being unemployed (GFC) for awhile, and then being scammed by a "social marketing expert" friend, I finally got a job at a decent place, although it had completely nothing to do my degree. But I still have much fallout in that a person who was a massive part of my life and whom I grew up with is no longer any part of my life, and I can't forgive friends who still stay in contact with her despite what I felt she did to me. Plus, I still end up chucking sickies at work to this day to deal with days when my moods just seem to go out the window, and my black dogs still haunt me from time to time. I've scheduled time to finally see a shrink to hopefully work out my issues once and for all. My question to the rest of Reddit is - have you ever been in the same situation, and most importantly, how did you rebuild your life? Not fishing for "awww you poor thing" here; just would like tips on how to rebuild and live a fuller life after being in such a dark place for so long. Thank you in advance, Reddit. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit\n\nTITLE: Has anyone ever gone batshit crazy before, and how did you patch your life back after that?\n\nPOST: *First time posting on Reddit. Been lurking for awhile and thought this a much merry place to be.*\n\nFor context, I have been suffering from depression for the last few years. And as a reaction to depression, I did get pretty angry for awhile, and lashed out at people close to me. I'll call that my \"batshit crazy\" period. \n\nI lost some friends and a best friend (who wasn't there for me when I was down and whom I still think failed at being a best friend anyway). I was also even the crazy ex at one stage.\n\nIt also happened to coincide with the GFC so work was hard to find, and admittedly being down did not help the job-hunting process.\n\nAnyway, things got better when I moved away from family members who were instrumental in bringing me down, and when I finally got a proper GP diagnosis that vindicated how down I had been feeling. And it got MUCH better since I started going onto meds.\n\nPlus, after being unemployed (GFC) for awhile, and then being scammed by a \"social marketing expert\" friend, I finally got a job at a decent place, although it had completely nothing to do my degree.\n\nBut I still have much fallout in that a person who was a massive part of my life and whom I grew up with is no longer any part of my life, and I can't forgive friends who still stay in contact with her despite what I felt she did to me. \n\nPlus, I still end up chucking sickies at work to this day to deal with days when my moods just seem to go out the window, and my black dogs still haunt me from time to time.\n\nI've scheduled time to finally see a shrink to hopefully work out my issues once and for all. \n\nMy question to the rest of Reddit is - have you ever been in the same situation, and most importantly, how did you rebuild your life? Not fishing for \"awww you poor thing\" here; just would like tips on how to rebuild and live a fuller life after being in such a dark place for so long.\n\nThank you in advance, Reddit.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Was depressed. Got crazy angry. Messed up life. Fixing life. Would like to hear from others how they fixed their life after possibly messing it up.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_gp1ty
AskReddit
Has anyone ever gone batshit crazy before, and how did you patch your life back after that?
*First time posting on Reddit. Been lurking for awhile and thought this a much merry place to be.* For context, I have been suffering from depression for the last few years. And as a reaction to depression, I did get pretty angry for awhile, and lashed out at people close to me. I'll call that my "batshit crazy" period. I lost some friends and a best friend (who wasn't there for me when I was down and whom I still think failed at being a best friend anyway). I was also even the crazy ex at one stage. It also happened to coincide with the GFC so work was hard to find, and admittedly being down did not help the job-hunting process. Anyway, things got better when I moved away from family members who were instrumental in bringing me down, and when I finally got a proper GP diagnosis that vindicated how down I had been feeling. And it got MUCH better since I started going onto meds. Plus, after being unemployed (GFC) for awhile, and then being scammed by a "social marketing expert" friend, I finally got a job at a decent place, although it had completely nothing to do my degree. But I still have much fallout in that a person who was a massive part of my life and whom I grew up with is no longer any part of my life, and I can't forgive friends who still stay in contact with her despite what I felt she did to me. Plus, I still end up chucking sickies at work to this day to deal with days when my moods just seem to go out the window, and my black dogs still haunt me from time to time. I've scheduled time to finally see a shrink to hopefully work out my issues once and for all. My question to the rest of Reddit is - have you ever been in the same situation, and most importantly, how did you rebuild your life? Not fishing for "awww you poor thing" here; just would like tips on how to rebuild and live a fuller life after being in such a dark place for so long. Thank you in advance, Reddit.
Was depressed. Got crazy angry. Messed up life. Fixing life. Would like to hear from others how they fixed their life after possibly messing it up.
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Contacting my biological father, who doesnt know I exist because of falsified DNA test [Washington] POST: I'm going to try to keep this short so it doesn't drag long into a soap opera. When my Mom [22 F at the time] got pregnant with her boyfriend at the time [24 M], aka my Dad, she decided he would be the right fit for many reasons. He ended up harassing her by constantly calling her work/showing up at her house. My mom ended up getting a retraining order. Fast forward to when I was born, my Dad wanted to get custody over me which my mom did not want. I ended up being sent to a different country as a baby during the whole trial. When the court asked for the DNA test, not sure how they did this, my mom used a different kid for the test? So it ended up being in court that he is not my father. Now growing up I didn't know anything about the DNA testing, but I knew about the harassment and being sent to a different country. (I was sent back to my mom around the age of 1 once the case was done). My mom was honest in terms of that her and my Dad didn't work but I could meet him when I turned 18. She said it couldn't be before then or else he might try to get custody over me. Once I turned 18 she ended up telling me about the whole DNA thing, and how she feels horrible but is asking me to not meet my Dad as he might press charges against her if he found out that what she did was illegal. Now currently I'm 19 and am 100% sure I found the other side of my family through investigation. But now am unsure how I should even approach him? My mom has been abroad for the past 2 years and my relationship with her has gone down the drain, for other serious reasons. In the end I'm just kind of lost at what I should do as I want to meet my Dad I never knew. And my whole life we've lived in the same town. And he lives only 10 minutes from my place. What should I do? Thoughts and opinions? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice\n\nTITLE: Contacting my biological father, who doesnt know I exist because of falsified DNA test [Washington]\n\nPOST: I'm going to try to keep this short so it doesn't drag long into a soap opera.\n\nWhen my Mom [22 F at the time] got pregnant with her boyfriend at the time [24 M], aka my Dad, she decided he would be the right fit for many reasons. He ended up harassing her by constantly calling her work/showing up at her house. My mom ended up getting a retraining order.\n\nFast forward to when I was born, my Dad wanted to get custody over me which my mom did not want. I ended up being sent to a different country as a baby during the whole trial. When the court asked for the DNA test, not sure how they did this, my mom used a different kid for the test? So it ended up being in court that he is not my father.\n\nNow growing up I didn't know anything about the DNA testing, but I knew about the harassment and being sent to a different country. (I was sent back to my mom around the age of 1 once the case was done). My mom was honest in terms of that her and my Dad didn't work but I could meet him when I turned 18. She said it couldn't be before then or else he might try to get custody over me. Once I turned 18 she ended up telling me about the whole DNA thing, and how she feels horrible but is asking me to not meet my Dad as he might press charges against her if he found out that what she did was illegal.\n\nNow currently I'm 19 and am 100% sure I found the other side of my family through investigation. But now am unsure how I should even approach him? My mom has been abroad for the past 2 years and my relationship with her has gone down the drain, for other serious reasons.\n\nIn the end I'm just kind of lost at what I should do as I want to meet my Dad I never knew. And my whole life we've lived in the same town. And he lives only 10 minutes from my place. What should I do? Thoughts and opinions?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My mom hid me from my dad by falsifying DNA test when I was born. I want to meet him now (19 years later) but am lost of what I should do in legal/moral terms?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_4c2yj8
legaladvice
Contacting my biological father, who doesnt know I exist because of falsified DNA test [Washington]
I'm going to try to keep this short so it doesn't drag long into a soap opera. When my Mom [22 F at the time] got pregnant with her boyfriend at the time [24 M], aka my Dad, she decided he would be the right fit for many reasons. He ended up harassing her by constantly calling her work/showing up at her house. My mom ended up getting a retraining order. Fast forward to when I was born, my Dad wanted to get custody over me which my mom did not want. I ended up being sent to a different country as a baby during the whole trial. When the court asked for the DNA test, not sure how they did this, my mom used a different kid for the test? So it ended up being in court that he is not my father. Now growing up I didn't know anything about the DNA testing, but I knew about the harassment and being sent to a different country. (I was sent back to my mom around the age of 1 once the case was done). My mom was honest in terms of that her and my Dad didn't work but I could meet him when I turned 18. She said it couldn't be before then or else he might try to get custody over me. Once I turned 18 she ended up telling me about the whole DNA thing, and how she feels horrible but is asking me to not meet my Dad as he might press charges against her if he found out that what she did was illegal. Now currently I'm 19 and am 100% sure I found the other side of my family through investigation. But now am unsure how I should even approach him? My mom has been abroad for the past 2 years and my relationship with her has gone down the drain, for other serious reasons. In the end I'm just kind of lost at what I should do as I want to meet my Dad I never knew. And my whole life we've lived in the same town. And he lives only 10 minutes from my place. What should I do? Thoughts and opinions?
My mom hid me from my dad by falsifying DNA test when I was born. I want to meet him now (19 years later) but am lost of what I should do in legal/moral terms?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [19M] have been talking to/seeing [18F] friend for about 3 months and have no idea what I'm doing. POST: So basically I met a girl in the beginning of the semester during our orientation week. She caught my eye the first day and we ended up talking on a bus ride somewhere and clicked. We exchanged numbers and continued talking. Fast forward a weekend and I actually start texting her (during orientation week we were in the same group so saw each other everyday) and have quite a long conversation. We continue texting and I eventually ask her to hangout (eat) which she agrees to. We go to an ice cream shop and me being a dumbass forget to pay for her, but she didn't seem to mind. We talk for a good 3 hours, losing track of time, and then I dropped her off back at her dorm and there was that. I text her at least once a week and we have lunch together at least once a week for the last six weeks. We have different majors so the only time I see her is when she is walking to her class (small school) and our weekly lunch. Though I ask her if she wants to do something almost every weekend but since she is a is a D1 athlete so she doesn't really have a lot of time on the weekends due to that and homework. Either way I still ask just because. Overall, I really like her and I feel that through our conversations she does the same. I've been told that because of our lunch deals and me taking her out twice we're basically together, but I want to know for sure. Oh and I haven't been in a relationship or had a thing with someone before and she doesn't know this. I have no idea what I'm doing. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [19M] have been talking to/seeing [18F] friend for about 3 months and have no idea what I'm doing.\n\nPOST: So basically I met a girl in the beginning of the semester during our orientation week. She caught my eye the first day and we ended up talking on a bus ride somewhere and clicked. We exchanged numbers and continued talking. \n\nFast forward a weekend and I actually start texting her (during orientation week we were in the same group so saw each other everyday) and have quite a long conversation. We continue texting and I eventually ask her to hangout (eat) which she agrees to. We go to an ice cream shop and me being a dumbass forget to pay for her, but she didn't seem to mind. We talk for a good 3 hours, losing track of time, and then I dropped her off back at her dorm and there was that.\n\nI text her at least once a week and we have lunch together at least once a week for the last six weeks. \n\nWe have different majors so the only time I see her is when she is walking to her class (small school) and our weekly lunch. Though I ask her if she wants to do something almost every weekend but since she is a is a D1 athlete so she doesn't really have a lot of time on the weekends due to that and homework. Either way I still ask just because.\n\nOverall, I really like her and I feel that through our conversations she does the same. I've been told that because of our lunch deals and me taking her out twice we're basically together, but I want to know for sure. \n\nOh and I haven't been in a relationship or had a thing with someone before and she doesn't know this. I have no idea what I'm doing.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Been seeing/talking to girl for more than 3 months. Have taken her out twice and have lunch weekly. How do I ask her to get official/serious?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2l3yy4
relationships
I [19M] have been talking to/seeing [18F] friend for about 3 months and have no idea what I'm doing.
So basically I met a girl in the beginning of the semester during our orientation week. She caught my eye the first day and we ended up talking on a bus ride somewhere and clicked. We exchanged numbers and continued talking. Fast forward a weekend and I actually start texting her (during orientation week we were in the same group so saw each other everyday) and have quite a long conversation. We continue texting and I eventually ask her to hangout (eat) which she agrees to. We go to an ice cream shop and me being a dumbass forget to pay for her, but she didn't seem to mind. We talk for a good 3 hours, losing track of time, and then I dropped her off back at her dorm and there was that. I text her at least once a week and we have lunch together at least once a week for the last six weeks. We have different majors so the only time I see her is when she is walking to her class (small school) and our weekly lunch. Though I ask her if she wants to do something almost every weekend but since she is a is a D1 athlete so she doesn't really have a lot of time on the weekends due to that and homework. Either way I still ask just because. Overall, I really like her and I feel that through our conversations she does the same. I've been told that because of our lunch deals and me taking her out twice we're basically together, but I want to know for sure. Oh and I haven't been in a relationship or had a thing with someone before and she doesn't know this. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Been seeing/talking to girl for more than 3 months. Have taken her out twice and have lunch weekly. How do I ask her to get official/serious?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [23F] continually feel unwelcome around my boyfriend's [22M] Dad's side of the family. POST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and for the first 2, things were pretty great. I felt welcomed and loved by everyone in his families (his parents are divorced), even though the bf was rarely around--we had a LDR where he went to college 5 hours away on a sports scholarship. Last summer, he moves back because of reasons other than our distance. But he got depressed from quitting a sport he'd been competitive in for 10+ years, worked at his new job 50+ hrs/wk, and we started to have communication problems. We broke up in August because of this, but got back together in mid-October, and things have been better than fantastic since. We're planning a future together. His mother's side of the family welcomed me back with open arms, and have been so loving and supportive. His Dad.....not so much. While his Mom still invited me to Christmas dinner and events, there was no such invitations from his Dad's side--in fact, on Christmas Eve when we were at his Mom's house, his Dad calls and tells the BF that he has tickets to Star Wars for the entire family....everyone except me. And his father knew he and I were spending time at his Mom's that night. And ever since then, they've still been very cold with me. They rarely say hello, they won't look at me in general (his two younger sisters still like me), they have made the comment that they feel like I'm going to "take him away" and don't want us to be physically affectionate at all in their household (no sitting close together, etc.), and it's very uncomfortable to go over to their house. I just feel like an outcast, even though I'm trying so hard to be friendly and rebuild a relationship with them for my boyfriend's sake. I just don't know how to proceed; how do I win them over? How do I handle feeling like the black sheep when I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, despite how his Dad and his stepmom are acting? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [23F] continually feel unwelcome around my boyfriend's [22M] Dad's side of the family.\n\nPOST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and for the first 2, things were pretty great. I felt welcomed and loved by everyone in his families (his parents are divorced), even though the bf was rarely around--we had a LDR where he went to college 5 hours away on a sports scholarship.\n\nLast summer, he moves back because of reasons other than our distance. But he got depressed from quitting a sport he'd been competitive in for 10+ years, worked at his new job 50+ hrs/wk, and we started to have communication problems. We broke up in August because of this, but got back together in mid-October, and things have been better than fantastic since. We're planning a future together.\n\nHis mother's side of the family welcomed me back with open arms, and have been so loving and supportive. His Dad.....not so much.\n\nWhile his Mom still invited me to Christmas dinner and events, there was no such invitations from his Dad's side--in fact, on Christmas Eve when we were at his Mom's house, his Dad calls and tells the BF that he has tickets to Star Wars for the entire family....everyone except me. And his father knew he and I were spending time at his Mom's that night. \n\nAnd ever since then, they've still been very cold with me. They rarely say hello, they won't look at me in general (his two younger sisters still like me), they have made the comment that they feel like I'm going to \"take him away\" and don't want us to be physically affectionate at all in their household (no sitting close together, etc.), and it's very uncomfortable to go over to their house.\n\nI just feel like an outcast, even though I'm trying so hard to be friendly and rebuild a relationship with them for my boyfriend's sake.\n\nI just don't know how to proceed; how do I win them over? How do I handle feeling like the black sheep when I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, despite how his Dad and his stepmom are acting?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "made the mistake of breaking up, got back together, bf's Dad and Stepmom are completely stonewalling me.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_46d53t
relationships
I [23F] continually feel unwelcome around my boyfriend's [22M] Dad's side of the family.
So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and for the first 2, things were pretty great. I felt welcomed and loved by everyone in his families (his parents are divorced), even though the bf was rarely around--we had a LDR where he went to college 5 hours away on a sports scholarship. Last summer, he moves back because of reasons other than our distance. But he got depressed from quitting a sport he'd been competitive in for 10+ years, worked at his new job 50+ hrs/wk, and we started to have communication problems. We broke up in August because of this, but got back together in mid-October, and things have been better than fantastic since. We're planning a future together. His mother's side of the family welcomed me back with open arms, and have been so loving and supportive. His Dad.....not so much. While his Mom still invited me to Christmas dinner and events, there was no such invitations from his Dad's side--in fact, on Christmas Eve when we were at his Mom's house, his Dad calls and tells the BF that he has tickets to Star Wars for the entire family....everyone except me. And his father knew he and I were spending time at his Mom's that night. And ever since then, they've still been very cold with me. They rarely say hello, they won't look at me in general (his two younger sisters still like me), they have made the comment that they feel like I'm going to "take him away" and don't want us to be physically affectionate at all in their household (no sitting close together, etc.), and it's very uncomfortable to go over to their house. I just feel like an outcast, even though I'm trying so hard to be friendly and rebuild a relationship with them for my boyfriend's sake. I just don't know how to proceed; how do I win them over? How do I handle feeling like the black sheep when I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, despite how his Dad and his stepmom are acting?
made the mistake of breaking up, got back together, bf's Dad and Stepmom are completely stonewalling me.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [28 F] just confronted my Borderline mother [54 F] about all the things she has done to ruin my life up until now... POST: I had been advised by my psychologist not to contact her due to the negative effect she was having on my personal life and mental health (I myself have problems with mental illness). But she had been relentlessly trying to contact me after I cut off contact without giving her a reason. So today I emailed her detailing everything she had done including the emotional neglect and abuse of myself and other family members and of her interfering and trying to end the relationship between myself and my husband on numerous occasions, and of ignoring my mental illness and making me suffer it out for years as a child, plus multiple other things I can go into if requested. The thing is now I can't help but feel guilty despite everyone patting me on the back and me knowing it was needed for closure. She has conditioned me to feel extreme guilt if I go against her wishes etc. As many people with Borderline parents know, the parents sometimes don't realise they have a problem despite the diagnosis of a mental illness (she thinks it's everyone else who is crazy, not her). So I know she will deny everything I have told her, yet she will play the victim as usual and somehow it will get back to me and I will again feel terribly guilty. Anyway I am just wondering if anyone has experience with borderline parents or other relationships and how they coped with the guilt of confronting the person, or how they coped at all with the stress of the situation. I'm in a rush so I'm sorry if I've left heaps out, I'm new to reddit as well so getting used to the layout, but I can add more details if requested. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [28 F] just confronted my Borderline mother [54 F] about all the things she has done to ruin my life up until now...\n\nPOST: I had been advised by my psychologist not to contact her due to the negative effect she was having on my personal life and mental health (I myself have problems with mental illness). But she had been relentlessly trying to contact me after I cut off contact without giving her a reason. \n\nSo today I emailed her detailing everything she had done including the emotional neglect and abuse of myself and other family members and of her interfering and trying to end the relationship between myself and my husband on numerous occasions, and of ignoring my mental illness and making me suffer it out for years as a child, plus multiple other things I can go into if requested.\n\nThe thing is now I can't help but feel guilty despite everyone patting me on the back and me knowing it was needed for closure. She has conditioned me to feel extreme guilt if I go against her wishes etc.\n\nAs many people with Borderline parents know, the parents sometimes don't realise they have a problem despite the diagnosis of a mental illness (she thinks it's everyone else who is crazy, not her). So I know she will deny everything I have told her, yet she will play the victim as usual and somehow it will get back to me and I will again feel terribly guilty.\n\nAnyway I am just wondering if anyone has experience with borderline parents or other relationships and how they coped with the guilt of confronting the person, or how they coped at all with the stress of the situation. I'm in a rush so I'm sorry if I've left heaps out, I'm new to reddit as well so getting used to the layout, but I can add more details if requested.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Confronted borderline mother, now feel guilty. Would like to hear others' stories of similar confrontations with borderline people.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_4q289h
relationships
I [28 F] just confronted my Borderline mother [54 F] about all the things she has done to ruin my life up until now...
I had been advised by my psychologist not to contact her due to the negative effect she was having on my personal life and mental health (I myself have problems with mental illness). But she had been relentlessly trying to contact me after I cut off contact without giving her a reason. So today I emailed her detailing everything she had done including the emotional neglect and abuse of myself and other family members and of her interfering and trying to end the relationship between myself and my husband on numerous occasions, and of ignoring my mental illness and making me suffer it out for years as a child, plus multiple other things I can go into if requested. The thing is now I can't help but feel guilty despite everyone patting me on the back and me knowing it was needed for closure. She has conditioned me to feel extreme guilt if I go against her wishes etc. As many people with Borderline parents know, the parents sometimes don't realise they have a problem despite the diagnosis of a mental illness (she thinks it's everyone else who is crazy, not her). So I know she will deny everything I have told her, yet she will play the victim as usual and somehow it will get back to me and I will again feel terribly guilty. Anyway I am just wondering if anyone has experience with borderline parents or other relationships and how they coped with the guilt of confronting the person, or how they coped at all with the stress of the situation. I'm in a rush so I'm sorry if I've left heaps out, I'm new to reddit as well so getting used to the layout, but I can add more details if requested.
Confronted borderline mother, now feel guilty. Would like to hear others' stories of similar confrontations with borderline people.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [Update] I [17 M] am crazy about this this girl [17 F] and need advice on how to proceed. POST: My previous post can be seen here: We have remained in touch since I originally posted this. She has since broken up with this guy [17/18 M] from Alberta, apparently due to what I understand is the relationship being somewhat abusive in nature. We met again on Friday and I thoroughly enjoyed the encounter of ours. I'm kinda crossing over into r/depression territory here, but I think that one of the reasons that we've seemed to bond is that we are both suffering from varying degrees of depression. Before I reconnected with her in September (after previously having met her earlier in the year) my depression was reaching what I consider to be an all time high. I felt like I was completely alone and had to fake any happiness that I presented to my friends. I made a lengthy post on FB basically ranting about this and she messaged me a short time later. She told me that I didn't have to worry and that I could always come to her for help/advice. I thought that this was awesome, especially considering that nobody had really showed me this sort of of attention prior to my post. This would eventually lead to the meeting/date at Tim Horton's which I mentioned in my previous post. It was there that we had an open discussion about both of our depressions. It had a great time and she was the first person that I was able to talk to in detail about this. Our second meeting on Friday was just as good, if not better, than the first. We had more open discussions about various things that we were going through/had gone through. I thought my situation was pretty bad, but it was nothing compared to what she had gone through. I won't go into detail but suffice to say she gained a lot more of my respect that day. I can also honestly say that me being with her was the first time that I felt legitimately happy in such a long while. I'm really looking forward to us meeting again. So now that this other guy from Alberta is out of the picture I'm wondering what exactly I should do. I would like to ask her out for a formal date but I'm not sure how long I should wait considering she was just in a relationship. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: [Update] I [17 M] am crazy about this this girl [17 F] and need advice on how to proceed.\n\nPOST: My previous post can be seen here: \n\nWe have remained in touch since I originally posted this. She has since broken up with this guy [17/18 M] from Alberta, apparently due to what I understand is the relationship being somewhat abusive in nature. We met again on Friday and I thoroughly enjoyed the encounter of ours. I'm kinda crossing over into r/depression territory here, but I think that one of the reasons that we've seemed to bond is that we are both suffering from varying degrees of depression.\n\nBefore I reconnected with her in September (after previously having met her earlier in the year) my depression was reaching what I consider to be an all time high. I felt like I was completely alone and had to fake any happiness that I presented to my friends. I made a lengthy post on FB basically ranting about this and she messaged me a short time later. She told me that I didn't have to worry and that I could always come to her for help/advice. I thought that this was awesome, especially considering that nobody had really showed me this sort of of attention prior to my post.\n\nThis would eventually lead to the meeting/date at Tim Horton's which I mentioned in my previous post. It was there that we had an open discussion about both of our depressions. It had a great time and she was the first person that I was able to talk to in detail about this. Our second meeting on Friday was just as good, if not better, than the first. We had more open discussions about various things that we were going through/had gone through.\n\nI thought my situation was pretty bad, but it was nothing compared to what she had gone through. I won't go into detail but suffice to say she gained a lot more of my respect that day. I can also honestly say that me being with her was the first time that I felt legitimately happy in such a long while. I'm really looking forward to us meeting again.\n\nSo now that this other guy from Alberta is out of the picture I'm wondering what exactly I should do. I would like to ask her out for a formal date but I'm not sure how long I should wait considering she was just in a relationship.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The aforementioned \"Alberta guy\" from the last post is now the out of the picture. I feel like I connect with her on a more emotional level since our second meeting so I was wondering what I should do from here.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_3peoig
relationships
[Update] I [17 M] am crazy about this this girl [17 F] and need advice on how to proceed.
My previous post can be seen here: We have remained in touch since I originally posted this. She has since broken up with this guy [17/18 M] from Alberta, apparently due to what I understand is the relationship being somewhat abusive in nature. We met again on Friday and I thoroughly enjoyed the encounter of ours. I'm kinda crossing over into r/depression territory here, but I think that one of the reasons that we've seemed to bond is that we are both suffering from varying degrees of depression. Before I reconnected with her in September (after previously having met her earlier in the year) my depression was reaching what I consider to be an all time high. I felt like I was completely alone and had to fake any happiness that I presented to my friends. I made a lengthy post on FB basically ranting about this and she messaged me a short time later. She told me that I didn't have to worry and that I could always come to her for help/advice. I thought that this was awesome, especially considering that nobody had really showed me this sort of of attention prior to my post. This would eventually lead to the meeting/date at Tim Horton's which I mentioned in my previous post. It was there that we had an open discussion about both of our depressions. It had a great time and she was the first person that I was able to talk to in detail about this. Our second meeting on Friday was just as good, if not better, than the first. We had more open discussions about various things that we were going through/had gone through. I thought my situation was pretty bad, but it was nothing compared to what she had gone through. I won't go into detail but suffice to say she gained a lot more of my respect that day. I can also honestly say that me being with her was the first time that I felt legitimately happy in such a long while. I'm really looking forward to us meeting again. So now that this other guy from Alberta is out of the picture I'm wondering what exactly I should do. I would like to ask her out for a formal date but I'm not sure how long I should wait considering she was just in a relationship.
The aforementioned "Alberta guy" from the last post is now the out of the picture. I feel like I connect with her on a more emotional level since our second meeting so I was wondering what I should do from here.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [28m] am afraid to commit to a girl [26f] I really like because of my lack of relationship/dating experience. And the fact that she is ugly. POST: I have been dating this girl for a few months now and I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. At first I did not really see this as anything long term, but gradually I have started to appreciate every little thing about her. I have started to picture us together in the future, travelling together, starting a family. The problem is that I've spent most of my life working my ass off and have not really had much time for dating or relationships. I'm close to finishing my PhD and I always imagined myself spending some time after that dating and finding out what I want. But now I suddenly find myself in this relationship that I can see potentially lasting forever. I think about this a lot, for example after after a recent conversation where she was telling me about some of the awkward dates she had in the past, because I know that it also helped her figure out what she wants and to realize that I'm the right one for her. A part of me wants the same experience. I am afraid that I will always be looking back and regretting not to have tried anything else. Confession: While writing this, I finally had to admit to myself the biggest reason for my hesitation. It was difficult to face it, but I have to be honest. If my girlfriend was perfect there would be no problem, but in the looks department, she is a 5, while I am a 9. I don't want more dating experience just to make sure that my current girlfriend is perfect for me, but also to convince myself that a "traditionally" prettier girl would not make me any happier. Because the fact is that I know that my girlfriend would make me happy, and that I can make her happy. I know that I can't just tell her that I love her, but that I need a few months on my own to find out what I want... Are there any solutions to this problem? I realize the obvious answer is "you just don't want to be with her, end this", but that simply isn't true. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [28m] am afraid to commit to a girl [26f] I really like because of my lack of relationship/dating experience. And the fact that she is ugly.\n\nPOST: I have been dating this girl for a few months now and I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. At first I did not really see this as anything long term, but gradually I have started to appreciate every little thing about her. I have started to picture us together in the future, travelling together, starting a family. \n\nThe problem is that I've spent most of my life working my ass off and have not really had much time for dating or relationships. I'm close to finishing my PhD and I always imagined myself spending some time after that dating and finding out what I want. But now I suddenly find myself in this relationship that I can see potentially lasting forever. \n\nI think about this a lot, for example after after a recent conversation where she was telling me about some of the awkward dates she had in the past, because I know \nthat it also helped her figure out what she wants and to realize that I'm the right one for her. A part of me wants the same experience. I am afraid that I will always be looking back and regretting not to have tried anything else. \n\nConfession: While writing this, I finally had to admit to myself the biggest reason for my hesitation. It was difficult to face it, but I have to be honest. If my girlfriend was perfect there would be no problem, but in the looks department, she is a 5, while I am a 9. I don't want more dating experience just to make sure that my current girlfriend is perfect for me, but also to convince myself that a \"traditionally\" prettier girl would not make me any happier. Because the fact is that I know that my girlfriend would make me happy, and that I can make her happy. \n\nI know that I can't just tell her that I love her, but that I need a few months on my own to find out what I want... \n\nAre there any solutions to this problem? I realize the obvious answer is \"you just don't want to be with her, end this\", but that simply isn't true.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In a relationship with a wonderful girl but afraid to commit cause of my lack of dating experience. And the fact that she is not very good looking.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_1y50rt
relationships
I [28m] am afraid to commit to a girl [26f] I really like because of my lack of relationship/dating experience. And the fact that she is ugly.
I have been dating this girl for a few months now and I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. At first I did not really see this as anything long term, but gradually I have started to appreciate every little thing about her. I have started to picture us together in the future, travelling together, starting a family. The problem is that I've spent most of my life working my ass off and have not really had much time for dating or relationships. I'm close to finishing my PhD and I always imagined myself spending some time after that dating and finding out what I want. But now I suddenly find myself in this relationship that I can see potentially lasting forever. I think about this a lot, for example after after a recent conversation where she was telling me about some of the awkward dates she had in the past, because I know that it also helped her figure out what she wants and to realize that I'm the right one for her. A part of me wants the same experience. I am afraid that I will always be looking back and regretting not to have tried anything else. Confession: While writing this, I finally had to admit to myself the biggest reason for my hesitation. It was difficult to face it, but I have to be honest. If my girlfriend was perfect there would be no problem, but in the looks department, she is a 5, while I am a 9. I don't want more dating experience just to make sure that my current girlfriend is perfect for me, but also to convince myself that a "traditionally" prettier girl would not make me any happier. Because the fact is that I know that my girlfriend would make me happy, and that I can make her happy. I know that I can't just tell her that I love her, but that I need a few months on my own to find out what I want... Are there any solutions to this problem? I realize the obvious answer is "you just don't want to be with her, end this", but that simply isn't true.
In a relationship with a wonderful girl but afraid to commit cause of my lack of dating experience. And the fact that she is not very good looking.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How to convince my very conscious parents to allow me to go on a trip with my best friend POST: My best friend asked me to go to Montreal with her this summer for a few days, but my parents are pretty strict. My whole life, my parents have most of the time said no to me hanging out with friends or going out and they have randomly said yes a few times. What is the best way for me to convince them for me to go? I'm 19 years old by the way and Indian. I rarely do anything bad and I've been babysitting my little sister this whole summer so far. I haven't done anything fun so far and this trip could really make this summer memorable for me. Also disobeying them is not an option, they pay my college tuition. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: How to convince my very conscious parents to allow me to go on a trip with my best friend\n\nPOST: My best friend asked me to go to Montreal with her this summer for a few days, but my parents are pretty strict. My whole life, my parents have most of the time said no to me hanging out with friends or going out and they have randomly said yes a few times. What is the best way for me to convince them for me to go? I'm 19 years old by the way and Indian. I rarely do anything bad and I've been babysitting my little sister this whole summer so far. I haven't done anything fun so far and this trip could really make this summer memorable for me. Also disobeying them is not an option, they pay my college tuition.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How can I convince my strict parents to let me take a trip with my best friend? My parents have known my best friend for over 10 years.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2brbyp
relationships
How to convince my very conscious parents to allow me to go on a trip with my best friend
My best friend asked me to go to Montreal with her this summer for a few days, but my parents are pretty strict. My whole life, my parents have most of the time said no to me hanging out with friends or going out and they have randomly said yes a few times. What is the best way for me to convince them for me to go? I'm 19 years old by the way and Indian. I rarely do anything bad and I've been babysitting my little sister this whole summer so far. I haven't done anything fun so far and this trip could really make this summer memorable for me. Also disobeying them is not an option, they pay my college tuition.
How can I convince my strict parents to let me take a trip with my best friend? My parents have known my best friend for over 10 years.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [23M] GF [22F] is a bit too active on my Instagram for my comfort level. POST: We've been together a few months now and things are going swell. We're some 150 miles apart (she works, I'm in grad school). We see each other every or every other weekend depending on how busy we are and it's good so far. One small hiccup: our presence on social media. By nature I'm a pretty private person and keep a small group of friends. I only share relevant stuff with my close friends and I am not prone to advertise my life, I think its a bit frivolous. Yes I have a Facebook, Twitter, and IG but I use that to keep a tab on what's going on in the world but just so I'm aware and in the loop. She's a bit of the opposite. We've recently become followers of each other on Instagram (IG is shorter for my convenience) and we both have browsed through each other's IG's to look at old pics as I'm sure everyone does. Little comments here and there, the usual. BUT this is where my problem begins. I have some family/friends on IG but as I said, not everyone I care to advertise my relationship(s) to in general because it's called a personal life. Some of her comments are pretty G/PG but quite a number are saucy and flirtatious (PG13/R). I'd rather she not post such things on my IG but I don' t know how to tell her without sounding like an asshole. I've begun to field questions from people I don't care enough to share about my personal life and it's kinda annoying to be honest. What's the best way to tread this delicately but not come across as an asshole? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My [23M] GF [22F] is a bit too active on my Instagram for my comfort level.\n\nPOST: We've been together a few months now and things are going swell. We're some 150 miles apart (she works, I'm in grad school). We see each other every or every other weekend depending on how busy we are and it's good so far.\n\nOne small hiccup: our presence on social media. By nature I'm a pretty private person and keep a small group of friends. I only share relevant stuff with my close friends and I am not prone to advertise my life, I think its a bit frivolous. Yes I have a Facebook, Twitter, and IG but I use that to keep a tab on what's going on in the world but just so I'm aware and in the loop. \n\nShe's a bit of the opposite.\n\nWe've recently become followers of each other on Instagram (IG is shorter for my convenience) and we both have browsed through each other's IG's to look at old pics as I'm sure everyone does. Little comments here and there, the usual.\n\nBUT this is where my problem begins. I have some family/friends on IG but as I said, not everyone I care to advertise my relationship(s) to in general because it's called a personal life. Some of her comments are pretty G/PG but quite a number are saucy and flirtatious (PG13/R). I'd rather she not post such things on my IG but I don' t know how to tell her without sounding like an asshole. I've begun to field questions from people I don't care enough to share about my personal life and it's kinda annoying to be honest.\n\nWhat's the best way to tread this delicately but not come across as an asshole?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "GF's comments on IG are a bit too much for my personal comfort. How do I tell her to be mindful?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2i1pb6
relationships
My [23M] GF [22F] is a bit too active on my Instagram for my comfort level.
We've been together a few months now and things are going swell. We're some 150 miles apart (she works, I'm in grad school). We see each other every or every other weekend depending on how busy we are and it's good so far. One small hiccup: our presence on social media. By nature I'm a pretty private person and keep a small group of friends. I only share relevant stuff with my close friends and I am not prone to advertise my life, I think its a bit frivolous. Yes I have a Facebook, Twitter, and IG but I use that to keep a tab on what's going on in the world but just so I'm aware and in the loop. She's a bit of the opposite. We've recently become followers of each other on Instagram (IG is shorter for my convenience) and we both have browsed through each other's IG's to look at old pics as I'm sure everyone does. Little comments here and there, the usual. BUT this is where my problem begins. I have some family/friends on IG but as I said, not everyone I care to advertise my relationship(s) to in general because it's called a personal life. Some of her comments are pretty G/PG but quite a number are saucy and flirtatious (PG13/R). I'd rather she not post such things on my IG but I don' t know how to tell her without sounding like an asshole. I've begun to field questions from people I don't care enough to share about my personal life and it's kinda annoying to be honest. What's the best way to tread this delicately but not come across as an asshole?
GF's comments on IG are a bit too much for my personal comfort. How do I tell her to be mindful?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Am I [25/F] in the wrong for being incredibly upset that my LDR boyfriend [32] hasn't even texted me today? POST: He texted me last night at 1 am while he was drinking with his friends saying "Happy Valentine's Day." I thought it was sweet he was thinking of me with his friends. He hasn't texted me a lot recently. I have to text him first or he won't text me all day. This has been going on for a week now. Recently I've stopped texting first just to see how long it takes him to text me. He usually starts texting me around 7 pm to 9 pm. I understand work and life can get in the way, but he used to text me every morning when he woke up. He's not cheating and I'm sure of that, he's a good guy. Am I wrong for waiting for him to text me and just initiate more contact? Do I have a leg to stand on when I stay I'm upset that I haven't even received a single notice that he's even alive today? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Am I [25/F] in the wrong for being incredibly upset that my LDR boyfriend [32] hasn't even texted me today?\n\nPOST: He texted me last night at 1 am while he was drinking with his friends saying \"Happy Valentine's Day.\" I thought it was sweet he was thinking of me with his friends. \n\nHe hasn't texted me a lot recently. I have to text him first or he won't text me all day. This has been going on for a week now.\n\nRecently I've stopped texting first just to see how long it takes him to text me. He usually starts texting me around 7 pm to 9 pm. \n\nI understand work and life can get in the way, but he used to text me every morning when he woke up. He's not cheating and I'm sure of that, he's a good guy. \n\nAm I wrong for waiting for him to text me and just initiate more contact? Do I have a leg to stand on when I stay I'm upset that I haven't even received a single notice that he's even alive today?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "LDR boyfriend has been texting less and less, now waiting until late evening to initiate contact. Do I have any right to be upset for not hearing from him on today of all days?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2vx54g
relationships
Am I [25/F] in the wrong for being incredibly upset that my LDR boyfriend [32] hasn't even texted me today?
He texted me last night at 1 am while he was drinking with his friends saying "Happy Valentine's Day." I thought it was sweet he was thinking of me with his friends. He hasn't texted me a lot recently. I have to text him first or he won't text me all day. This has been going on for a week now. Recently I've stopped texting first just to see how long it takes him to text me. He usually starts texting me around 7 pm to 9 pm. I understand work and life can get in the way, but he used to text me every morning when he woke up. He's not cheating and I'm sure of that, he's a good guy. Am I wrong for waiting for him to text me and just initiate more contact? Do I have a leg to stand on when I stay I'm upset that I haven't even received a single notice that he's even alive today?
LDR boyfriend has been texting less and less, now waiting until late evening to initiate contact. Do I have any right to be upset for not hearing from him on today of all days?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [24/f] Is it time to ask pseudo-fwb [27/m] the "what are we" question? POST: We first met about a year ago - no common friends of any kind - and first went out this April. I got really loose on the first date and may or may not have said that i'm not looking for anything serious. We went out on brunch and other stuff afterwards and sex just happened along the way. i have been going out on dates since then with other people but never went so far as sex. Until very recently, we see each other on average once a month and sometimes we just hang out. I have never slept over at his place before last night (i am a light sleeper and the idea of sleepover stressed me out) although he stayed at mine 2 out of the last three times he came over. Another thing is frequency, he came over "prepared" (brushed his teeth, packed suit for next day) this thursday after i booty texted him while drunk. Then he wanted to see me on friday, which i turned down and on saturday again - to which i responded and went to stay at his place because my heater is broken. We never define what it is, fuck buddies or fwb. Now that sleepover seems more regular, i don't know if it's time to bring up the question. If so, how should i communicate this? As far as myself is concerned, I am willing to go down the casual dating route and be perfectly happy about it. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice\n\nTITLE: [24/f] Is it time to ask pseudo-fwb [27/m] the \"what are we\" question?\n\nPOST: We first met about a year ago - no common friends of any kind - and first went out this April. I got really loose on the first date and may or may not have said that i'm not looking for anything serious. We went out on brunch and other stuff afterwards and sex just happened along the way. i have been going out on dates since then with other people but never went so far as sex. \n\nUntil very recently, we see each other on average once a month and sometimes we just hang out. I have never slept over at his place before last night (i am a light sleeper and the idea of sleepover stressed me out) although he stayed at mine 2 out of the last three times he came over. \n\nAnother thing is frequency, he came over \"prepared\" (brushed his teeth, packed suit for next day) this thursday after i booty texted him while drunk. Then he wanted to see me on friday, which i turned down and on saturday again - to which i responded and went to stay at his place because my heater is broken. \n\nWe never define what it is, fuck buddies or fwb. Now that sleepover seems more regular, i don't know if it's time to bring up the question. If so, how should i communicate this? As far as myself is concerned, I am willing to go down the casual dating route and be perfectly happy about it.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "7 months since we first dated, never defined what we are. he did stop seeing someone in March, that's all i know about his past ;)", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_13f1ol
relationship_advice
[24/f] Is it time to ask pseudo-fwb [27/m] the "what are we" question?
We first met about a year ago - no common friends of any kind - and first went out this April. I got really loose on the first date and may or may not have said that i'm not looking for anything serious. We went out on brunch and other stuff afterwards and sex just happened along the way. i have been going out on dates since then with other people but never went so far as sex. Until very recently, we see each other on average once a month and sometimes we just hang out. I have never slept over at his place before last night (i am a light sleeper and the idea of sleepover stressed me out) although he stayed at mine 2 out of the last three times he came over. Another thing is frequency, he came over "prepared" (brushed his teeth, packed suit for next day) this thursday after i booty texted him while drunk. Then he wanted to see me on friday, which i turned down and on saturday again - to which i responded and went to stay at his place because my heater is broken. We never define what it is, fuck buddies or fwb. Now that sleepover seems more regular, i don't know if it's time to bring up the question. If so, how should i communicate this? As far as myself is concerned, I am willing to go down the casual dating route and be perfectly happy about it.
7 months since we first dated, never defined what we are. he did stop seeing someone in March, that's all i know about his past ;)
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 F], my SO [24 M] of a year, I want to break up but I have no place to go. POST: So I have been dating my boyfriend over a year. Let's call him Austin. I moved in with Austin's family because my parents out of state and I decided to take some time off from the college where we met. I worked through a terrible depression which has been persistent for the past few years. I isolated myself so now I am friendless, jobless and have no transportation. I am trying to put my life back together and after long reflection, I have realized Austin and I are two very different people. There is a general lack of communication and respect for the other person. So here is my dilemma: Do I break up with Austin? I am a very open, honest person. It feels deceitful not to inform him of the decision I have made about our relationship,but I feel a little justified considering how inattentive and neglectful he can be. I want to tell him but he will be unsympathetic and he owes me nothing. Austin would not let me stay here until I have my life together. I have an older sister across the country but we have not talked in years. The whole reason she moved away is to get away from our crazy family. My older brother (let's call him Steve) seems to think I should move back in with our alcoholic/codependent parents where he currently lives. Steve is much better at dealing with their bullshit and I don't feel like it's the right environment to figure out my future. They are the source of my depression. I would however like to be close Steve. Having counseling resources available is another good reason to move back, though transportation is an another issue. It would be great relieve for both Austin and myself to unburden ourselves with this dead relationship and move on. But I also took a vow never to subject myself to my parents abuse again. I am open to any other ideas/suggestions/solutions. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [23 F], my SO [24 M] of a year, I want to break up but I have no place to go.\n\nPOST: So I have been dating my boyfriend over a year. Let's call him Austin. I moved in with Austin's family because my parents out of state and I decided to take some time off from the college where we met. I worked through a terrible depression which has been persistent for the past few years. I isolated myself so now I am friendless, jobless and have no transportation. I am trying to put my life back together and after long reflection, I have realized Austin and I are two very different people. There is a general lack of communication and respect for the other person. So here is my dilemma: Do I break up with Austin?\n\n I am a very open, honest person. It feels deceitful not to inform him of the decision I have made about our relationship,but I feel a little justified considering how inattentive and neglectful he can be. I want to tell him but he will be unsympathetic and he owes me nothing. Austin would not let me stay here until I have my life together. I have an older sister across the country but we have not talked in years. The whole reason she moved away is to get away from our crazy family. \n\nMy older brother (let's call him Steve) seems to think I should move back in with our alcoholic/codependent parents where he currently lives. Steve is much better at dealing with their bullshit and I don't feel like it's the right environment to figure out my future. They are the source of my depression. I would however like to be close Steve. Having counseling resources available is another good reason to move back, though transportation is an another issue.\n\n It would be great relieve for both Austin and myself to unburden ourselves with this dead relationship and move on. But I also took a vow never to subject myself to my parents abuse again. I am open to any other ideas/suggestions/solutions.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If I break up with my boyfriend I will be homeless. Should I pretend like everything is okay until I can leave?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2jceac
relationships
Me [23 F], my SO [24 M] of a year, I want to break up but I have no place to go.
So I have been dating my boyfriend over a year. Let's call him Austin. I moved in with Austin's family because my parents out of state and I decided to take some time off from the college where we met. I worked through a terrible depression which has been persistent for the past few years. I isolated myself so now I am friendless, jobless and have no transportation. I am trying to put my life back together and after long reflection, I have realized Austin and I are two very different people. There is a general lack of communication and respect for the other person. So here is my dilemma: Do I break up with Austin? I am a very open, honest person. It feels deceitful not to inform him of the decision I have made about our relationship,but I feel a little justified considering how inattentive and neglectful he can be. I want to tell him but he will be unsympathetic and he owes me nothing. Austin would not let me stay here until I have my life together. I have an older sister across the country but we have not talked in years. The whole reason she moved away is to get away from our crazy family. My older brother (let's call him Steve) seems to think I should move back in with our alcoholic/codependent parents where he currently lives. Steve is much better at dealing with their bullshit and I don't feel like it's the right environment to figure out my future. They are the source of my depression. I would however like to be close Steve. Having counseling resources available is another good reason to move back, though transportation is an another issue. It would be great relieve for both Austin and myself to unburden ourselves with this dead relationship and move on. But I also took a vow never to subject myself to my parents abuse again. I am open to any other ideas/suggestions/solutions.
If I break up with my boyfriend I will be homeless. Should I pretend like everything is okay until I can leave?
SUBREDDIT: r/running TITLE: Blood blisters and weird sized feet POST: Hey runnit, I'm training for my second half marathon in October, and I've got a concern: I've developed some decent blood blisters on the middle toes of both my feet as well as a doozy on the big toe of my left foot. My right foot has normal blisters on the big toe and underneath. I'm not sure if I should leave them as is, or pop them. They don't bother me during my run at all, or afterwards too much. Also is there anything I can do to keep blisters from happening? ( Some background info: I'm 6 feet, 160 lbs, but yet have tiny misshapen feet. My left foot is a size 5 and considerably wider than the other, my right a 7.5. I wear size 8 Asics gel kayano, which are supposed to stabilize my very high arches but don't do so well. I wear 8s because my left is decent snugness width wise and my right fits decent. I had the blisters my first half that I ran also, but popped them, which made them hurt a bit. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/running\n\nTITLE: Blood blisters and weird sized feet\n\nPOST: Hey runnit, I'm training for my second half marathon in October, and I've got a concern: I've developed some decent blood blisters on the middle toes of both my feet as well as a doozy on the big toe of my left foot. My right foot has normal blisters on the big toe and underneath. I'm not sure if I should leave them as is, or pop them. They don't bother me during my run at all, or afterwards too much. Also is there anything I can do to keep blisters from happening? (\n\nSome background info: I'm 6 feet, 160 lbs, but yet have tiny misshapen feet. My left foot is a size 5 and considerably wider than the other, my right a 7.5. I wear size 8 Asics gel kayano, which are supposed to stabilize my very high arches but don't do so well. I wear 8s because my left is decent snugness width wise and my right fits decent. I had the blisters my first half that I ran also, but popped them, which made them hurt a bit.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "blood blisters on my 2 different sized feet. What can I do to combat this? Am I doomed to spend ridiculous money on shoes and orthotics?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_yxymu
running
Blood blisters and weird sized feet
Hey runnit, I'm training for my second half marathon in October, and I've got a concern: I've developed some decent blood blisters on the middle toes of both my feet as well as a doozy on the big toe of my left foot. My right foot has normal blisters on the big toe and underneath. I'm not sure if I should leave them as is, or pop them. They don't bother me during my run at all, or afterwards too much. Also is there anything I can do to keep blisters from happening? ( Some background info: I'm 6 feet, 160 lbs, but yet have tiny misshapen feet. My left foot is a size 5 and considerably wider than the other, my right a 7.5. I wear size 8 Asics gel kayano, which are supposed to stabilize my very high arches but don't do so well. I wear 8s because my left is decent snugness width wise and my right fits decent. I had the blisters my first half that I ran also, but popped them, which made them hurt a bit.
blood blisters on my 2 different sized feet. What can I do to combat this? Am I doomed to spend ridiculous money on shoes and orthotics?
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by forgetting my lube in the shower POST: So I'm sitting in the living room with my then GF not long ago and my roommate (Carl with the slicked back hair) comes in from the bathroom to ask me where the little black bottle in the shower went. Confused, I looked back at him and told him I didn't know what he was talking about. This is about what happened next: >Carl: Are you sure it wasn't yours? It appeared in the bathroom the other day and then today it's gone. >Me: Still not sure. Why do you ask? >Carl: Aww...damn. Whatever that shit was it was awesome. It was like this conditioner or something that kept my hair super slick alll day long. It was crazy, not even water could get it out. It worked so much better than the hair stuff I use right now. Maybe Jenny (his GF) knows where it went. Are you sure you don't know? At this point I have figured out that the little black bottle to which he kept referring was my bottle of lube. I glanced over at my GF and all the color had drained from her face and she was trying not to give it away that she knew. With the straightest face I could muster I told him that I still had no idea. I haven't told him to this day. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/tifu\n\nTITLE: TIFU by forgetting my lube in the shower\n\nPOST: So I'm sitting in the living room with my then GF not long ago and my roommate (Carl with the slicked back hair) comes in from the bathroom to ask me where the little black bottle in the shower went. Confused, I looked back at him and told him I didn't know what he was talking about. This is about what happened next:\n\n>Carl: Are you sure it wasn't yours? It appeared in the bathroom the other day and then today it's gone.\n\n>Me: Still not sure. Why do you ask?\n\n>Carl: Aww...damn. Whatever that shit was it was awesome. It was like this conditioner or something that kept my hair super slick alll day long. It was crazy, not even water could get it out. It worked so much better than the hair stuff I use right now. Maybe Jenny (his GF) knows where it went. Are you sure you don't know?\n\nAt this point I have figured out that the little black bottle to which he kept referring was my bottle of lube. I glanced over at my GF and all the color had drained from her face and she was trying not to give it away that she knew. With the straightest face I could muster I told him that I still had no idea. I haven't told him to this day.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "i left my lube in the shower for a couple days and my roommate mistook it for hair conditioner. To this day he doesn't know.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_3cp277
tifu
TIFU by forgetting my lube in the shower
So I'm sitting in the living room with my then GF not long ago and my roommate (Carl with the slicked back hair) comes in from the bathroom to ask me where the little black bottle in the shower went. Confused, I looked back at him and told him I didn't know what he was talking about. This is about what happened next: >Carl: Are you sure it wasn't yours? It appeared in the bathroom the other day and then today it's gone. >Me: Still not sure. Why do you ask? >Carl: Aww...damn. Whatever that shit was it was awesome. It was like this conditioner or something that kept my hair super slick alll day long. It was crazy, not even water could get it out. It worked so much better than the hair stuff I use right now. Maybe Jenny (his GF) knows where it went. Are you sure you don't know? At this point I have figured out that the little black bottle to which he kept referring was my bottle of lube. I glanced over at my GF and all the color had drained from her face and she was trying not to give it away that she knew. With the straightest face I could muster I told him that I still had no idea. I haven't told him to this day.
i left my lube in the shower for a couple days and my roommate mistook it for hair conditioner. To this day he doesn't know.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My mom [53F] keeps trying to reunite me [23F] and my estranged sister [19F] and it's making me miserable. POST: "Estranged" isn't really the right word though. We have never had a relationship of any kind. We have hated each other since the moment she was born. Not once in the past decade (despite living together and going to the same school) have we even spoken to each other without it turning violent, or at least becoming a screaming argument. I moved away from home to go to college in one of the most stressful engineering programs in the country--it was like entering a peaceful zen trance. I felt safe sleeping without a lock on my bedroom door, I stopped grinding my teeth, and I stopped getting stress headaches. However, my mom is very close to both of her siblings and considers it *very* important to have those relationships. She is completely convinced that now that my sister and I are "adults" we will suddenly get along. Now, at least half of the visits I make to see my mom, my sister will "accidentally" be coming to visit at the same time. It's gotten to the point that I dread going to visit my mom (and often just skip it completely), because my sister might be there. Seeing my sister makes me so angry and unhappy that I feel sick to my stomach, and it ruins the little time I have with my mom (I live in another city and have a very time-intensive job). What can I do to convince my mom that tricking us into a room together is just making things worse? Has anyone ever heard of someone else going through this? Everyone who I have ever talked to about it (parents, friends, etc.) dismisses it--"it's a phase" or "everyone fights with their siblings" and no one seems to believe me when I say that something is horribly wrong. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My mom [53F] keeps trying to reunite me [23F] and my estranged sister [19F] and it's making me miserable.\n\nPOST: \"Estranged\" isn't really the right word though. We have never had a relationship of any kind. We have hated each other since the moment she was born. Not once in the past decade (despite living together and going to the same school) have we even spoken to each other without it turning violent, or at least becoming a screaming argument. \n\nI moved away from home to go to college in one of the most stressful engineering programs in the country--it was like entering a peaceful zen trance. I felt safe sleeping without a lock on my bedroom door, I stopped grinding my teeth, and I stopped getting stress headaches.\n\nHowever, my mom is very close to both of her siblings and considers it *very* important to have those relationships. She is completely convinced that now that my sister and I are \"adults\" we will suddenly get along. Now, at least half of the visits I make to see my mom, my sister will \"accidentally\" be coming to visit at the same time. It's gotten to the point that I dread going to visit my mom (and often just skip it completely), because my sister might be there. Seeing my sister makes me so angry and unhappy that I feel sick to my stomach, and it ruins the little time I have with my mom (I live in another city and have a very time-intensive job).\n\nWhat can I do to convince my mom that tricking us into a room together is just making things worse? Has anyone ever heard of someone else going through this? Everyone who I have ever talked to about it (parents, friends, etc.) dismisses it--\"it's a phase\" or \"everyone fights with their siblings\" and no one seems to believe me when I say that something is horribly wrong.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I want my mom to stop tricking me and my sister, who hate each other, into meeting in the hope that we will suddenly get along after two decades.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_2b77t2
relationships
My mom [53F] keeps trying to reunite me [23F] and my estranged sister [19F] and it's making me miserable.
"Estranged" isn't really the right word though. We have never had a relationship of any kind. We have hated each other since the moment she was born. Not once in the past decade (despite living together and going to the same school) have we even spoken to each other without it turning violent, or at least becoming a screaming argument. I moved away from home to go to college in one of the most stressful engineering programs in the country--it was like entering a peaceful zen trance. I felt safe sleeping without a lock on my bedroom door, I stopped grinding my teeth, and I stopped getting stress headaches. However, my mom is very close to both of her siblings and considers it *very* important to have those relationships. She is completely convinced that now that my sister and I are "adults" we will suddenly get along. Now, at least half of the visits I make to see my mom, my sister will "accidentally" be coming to visit at the same time. It's gotten to the point that I dread going to visit my mom (and often just skip it completely), because my sister might be there. Seeing my sister makes me so angry and unhappy that I feel sick to my stomach, and it ruins the little time I have with my mom (I live in another city and have a very time-intensive job). What can I do to convince my mom that tricking us into a room together is just making things worse? Has anyone ever heard of someone else going through this? Everyone who I have ever talked to about it (parents, friends, etc.) dismisses it--"it's a phase" or "everyone fights with their siblings" and no one seems to believe me when I say that something is horribly wrong.
I want my mom to stop tricking me and my sister, who hate each other, into meeting in the hope that we will suddenly get along after two decades.
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Is it a date? Or just as friends? M(18) F(17) POST: So, I've know this girl a while through other friends and she's been at gatherings I've been to. The other day at a party I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her properly (not just the usual "hi how are you" stuff) and we got on really well. The only problem was she then started talking to her friend about how she isn't sure if she likes this guy. She said he was a bit of a dick. My friend (also her best friend), being a boss of a wingwoman, told her "don't go for dicks, because you'll just end up getting hurt". So the girl I like asked "But who isn't a dick?" and my friend pointed at me and said "He's not a dick, he's my best friend". Next day I decided to talk to her over facebook and ask if she wanted to see a film which she said she really wanted to see. (I've already seen it but it's so good I want to go twice). She said it's be "really nice" and we organised a day. I asked her about getting something to eat before and she said we could just "go and have a coffee". The thing is, I don't fully know whether it's an actual date, or just as friends. We both really love the film, so it could just be that, but we don't really know each other well enough for it to be something friends would do. But then again, there is still that guy who she wasn't sure whether she liked...will he just leave the equation instantly? So, basically, in your opinion, Reddit, is it a date? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice\n\nTITLE: Is it a date? Or just as friends? M(18) F(17)\n\nPOST: So, I've know this girl a while through other friends and she's been at gatherings I've been to. The other day at a party I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her properly (not just the usual \"hi how are you\" stuff) and we got on really well. \n\nThe only problem was she then started talking to her friend about how she isn't sure if she likes this guy. She said he was a bit of a dick. My friend (also her best friend), being a boss of a wingwoman, told her \"don't go for dicks, because you'll just end up getting hurt\". So the girl I like asked \"But who isn't a dick?\" and my friend pointed at me and said \"He's not a dick, he's my best friend\". \n\nNext day I decided to talk to her over facebook and ask if she wanted to see a film which she said she really wanted to see. (I've already seen it but it's so good I want to go twice). She said it's be \"really nice\" and we organised a day. I asked her about getting something to eat before and she said we could just \"go and have a coffee\". \n\nThe thing is, I don't fully know whether it's an actual date, or just as friends. We both really love the film, so it could just be that, but we don't really know each other well enough for it to be something friends would do. But then again, there is still that guy who she wasn't sure whether she liked...will he just leave the equation instantly? So, basically, in your opinion, Reddit, is it a date?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A girl who I only know a little has said yes to seeing a film with me, which we both really want to see, and suggested we have coffee before, is it a date, or just as friends?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_12ax1j
dating_advice
Is it a date? Or just as friends? M(18) F(17)
So, I've know this girl a while through other friends and she's been at gatherings I've been to. The other day at a party I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her properly (not just the usual "hi how are you" stuff) and we got on really well. The only problem was she then started talking to her friend about how she isn't sure if she likes this guy. She said he was a bit of a dick. My friend (also her best friend), being a boss of a wingwoman, told her "don't go for dicks, because you'll just end up getting hurt". So the girl I like asked "But who isn't a dick?" and my friend pointed at me and said "He's not a dick, he's my best friend". Next day I decided to talk to her over facebook and ask if she wanted to see a film which she said she really wanted to see. (I've already seen it but it's so good I want to go twice). She said it's be "really nice" and we organised a day. I asked her about getting something to eat before and she said we could just "go and have a coffee". The thing is, I don't fully know whether it's an actual date, or just as friends. We both really love the film, so it could just be that, but we don't really know each other well enough for it to be something friends would do. But then again, there is still that guy who she wasn't sure whether she liked...will he just leave the equation instantly? So, basically, in your opinion, Reddit, is it a date?
A girl who I only know a little has said yes to seeing a film with me, which we both really want to see, and suggested we have coffee before, is it a date, or just as friends?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: F20 broken up with by M20. 2 years. First day. I can't enjoy food, I'm afraid to sleep. My heart hurts.i want to connect to others that feel this way. POST: The future was so bright, we were going to live together. We never fought. I tried so hard to make him happy. We talked through everything, I always admitted when I was wrong and we seemed so good at fixing problems. I couldn't make him happy. He was depressed, but in a way that he hid from me. I didn't mind when he was sad I tried to comfort him. It was never perfect but we were so close and now I feel so lonely. He said he used to love me but doesn't now. Then he changed his mind, said he could love me, and when he saw me again he said he couldn't. He said he saw me like a sister. I got furious with him, yelled at him, I cried, I bawled my eyes out. It was so sudden. The last time we were together we were cuddling and laughing. I have a lot of love to give, faithfulness, and affection. I've already been asked out twice but It's too soon and I don't know how to function yet. I can't eat the food I ate when I was with him, watch the shows, listen to the same music. I lost the future that I thought I had with him. I wanted it so bad and now it's gone. I want to be able to sleep. I want to connect to other people who's hearts are hurting like mine, so I know I'm not alone. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: F20 broken up with by M20. 2 years. First day. I can't enjoy food, I'm afraid to sleep. My heart hurts.i want to connect to others that feel this way.\n\nPOST: The future was so bright, we were going to live together. We never fought. I tried so hard to make him happy. We talked through everything, I always admitted when I was wrong and we seemed so good at fixing problems. I couldn't make him happy. He was depressed, but in a way that he hid from me. I didn't mind when he was sad I tried to comfort him. \n\nIt was never perfect but we were so close and now I feel so lonely. He said he used to love me but doesn't now. Then he changed his mind, said he could love me, and when he saw me again he said he couldn't. He said he saw me like a sister. I got furious with him, yelled at him, I cried, I bawled my eyes out. \n\nIt was so sudden. The last time we were together we were cuddling and laughing.\n\nI have a lot of love to give, faithfulness, and affection. I've already been asked out twice but It's too soon and I don't know how to function yet. I can't eat the food I ate when I was with him, watch the shows, listen to the same music. \n\nI lost the future that I thought I had with him. I wanted it so bad and now it's gone. \n\nI want to be able to sleep. I want to connect to other people who's hearts are hurting like mine, so I know I'm not alone.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He loved me, then realized he didn't. Then he told me he could love me, and as soon as he saw me he told me he couldn't.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_242sbp
relationships
F20 broken up with by M20. 2 years. First day. I can't enjoy food, I'm afraid to sleep. My heart hurts.i want to connect to others that feel this way.
The future was so bright, we were going to live together. We never fought. I tried so hard to make him happy. We talked through everything, I always admitted when I was wrong and we seemed so good at fixing problems. I couldn't make him happy. He was depressed, but in a way that he hid from me. I didn't mind when he was sad I tried to comfort him. It was never perfect but we were so close and now I feel so lonely. He said he used to love me but doesn't now. Then he changed his mind, said he could love me, and when he saw me again he said he couldn't. He said he saw me like a sister. I got furious with him, yelled at him, I cried, I bawled my eyes out. It was so sudden. The last time we were together we were cuddling and laughing. I have a lot of love to give, faithfulness, and affection. I've already been asked out twice but It's too soon and I don't know how to function yet. I can't eat the food I ate when I was with him, watch the shows, listen to the same music. I lost the future that I thought I had with him. I wanted it so bad and now it's gone. I want to be able to sleep. I want to connect to other people who's hearts are hurting like mine, so I know I'm not alone.
He loved me, then realized he didn't. Then he told me he could love me, and as soon as he saw me he told me he couldn't.
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Should me [f]irst relationship be long distance? POST: Hi all! Backstory: I just recently came out of my "ugly duckling with extreme social anxiety" phase I have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend (am also a "supervirgin") or many friends.I have really come out of my shell these past few months! I [19f] have started a new summer job and will be transferring to a university that 4 hours away. I will be quiting exactly a month from now. I met this [21m] guy at my job. He's great and we are both interested in each other. Next time I see him at work will be Saturday and his close friend told me that he is planning to ask me out. I have never had a crush like this before and this is also the first guy who is interested in me in a non-sexual context. My only issue is that he isn't in school and therefore lives permanently up by our job. I am moving into an apartment by my university and will be living down there until I graduate in 3 years (I will be an entering sophmore). I see myself as having 3 options: -We date and do it long distance -However, I am worried that I will be a bad girlfriend. My current class schedule is hectic and I still have to work to pay for my apartment. My major also requires a lot of outside of class work. This would leave very little time to talk and come up on the weekends for visits. -We have a summer fling. -When I asked my mom for advice she suggested this. According to her, going on a date will help take away some of my social anxiety around dating and make me more confident for future dates with other people. -I stop everything in its tracks now. I'm not sure what to do. And would really appreciate anyone's advice. TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Should me [f]irst relationship be long distance?\n\nPOST: Hi all!\n\nBackstory: I just recently came out of my \"ugly duckling with extreme social anxiety\" phase I have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend (am also a \"supervirgin\") or many friends.I have really come out of my shell these past few months!\n\nI [19f] have started a new summer job and will be transferring to a university that 4 hours away. I will be quiting exactly a month from now. I met this [21m] guy at my job. He's great and we are both interested in each other. Next time I see him at work will be Saturday and his close friend told me that he is planning to ask me out. I have never had a crush like this before and this is also the first guy who is interested in me in a non-sexual context. My only issue is that he isn't in school and therefore lives permanently up by our job. I am moving into an apartment by my university and will be living down there until I graduate in 3 years (I will be an entering sophmore). I see myself as having 3 options:\n\n -We date and do it long distance -However, I am worried that I will be a bad girlfriend. My current class schedule is hectic and I still have to work to pay for my apartment. My major also requires a lot of outside of class work. This would leave very little time to talk and come up on the weekends for visits.\n\n -We have a summer fling. -When I asked my mom for advice she suggested this. According to her, going on a date will help take away some of my social anxiety around dating and make me more confident for future dates with other people.\n\n-I stop everything in its tracks now.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. And would really appreciate anyone's advice.\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I like this guy but am moving away, should we do it long distance, have a summer fling or let it fizzle?", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_4sx055
relationships
Should me [f]irst relationship be long distance?
Hi all! Backstory: I just recently came out of my "ugly duckling with extreme social anxiety" phase I have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend (am also a "supervirgin") or many friends.I have really come out of my shell these past few months! I [19f] have started a new summer job and will be transferring to a university that 4 hours away. I will be quiting exactly a month from now. I met this [21m] guy at my job. He's great and we are both interested in each other. Next time I see him at work will be Saturday and his close friend told me that he is planning to ask me out. I have never had a crush like this before and this is also the first guy who is interested in me in a non-sexual context. My only issue is that he isn't in school and therefore lives permanently up by our job. I am moving into an apartment by my university and will be living down there until I graduate in 3 years (I will be an entering sophmore). I see myself as having 3 options: -We date and do it long distance -However, I am worried that I will be a bad girlfriend. My current class schedule is hectic and I still have to work to pay for my apartment. My major also requires a lot of outside of class work. This would leave very little time to talk and come up on the weekends for visits. -We have a summer fling. -When I asked my mom for advice she suggested this. According to her, going on a date will help take away some of my social anxiety around dating and make me more confident for future dates with other people. -I stop everything in its tracks now. I'm not sure what to do. And would really appreciate anyone's advice.
I like this guy but am moving away, should we do it long distance, have a summer fling or let it fizzle?
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [27 M] met an amazing girl [29 F], but my superficial prejudices could screw it up. POST: I went on an online date with an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, and we just had chemistry. I've been on many online dates, and the awkward silence during certain bits of the date is just par for the course. This date was different. We always had something to talk about, and more over we were on the same page. We'd even say the same thing at the same time - it was surreal. This girl is also beautiful. She was a bit heavier than her pictures, but this is something I've come to expect from online dating, and I didn't really mind. Date 2 was great too. More of that awesome chemistry, more of that great conversation. Then the clothes started coming off, and I don't know why, but she was just a lot heavier than I thought under the clothes. I don't know if she was much bigger than I thought, but her bodyfat ratio was high, and she didn't wear the fat well. I am very attracted to her when she's clothed, but I have to admit I became less attracted after she got naked. I hate that I even have to say it because our chemistry is so perfect, and she has a very pretty face even. So now I'm in conflict. I am thinking I want to hang out with her at least one more time to see if I can get over this, but I don't want to lead her on. I hate that my superficial prejudices could screw up an amazing connection like this. What should I do? TL;DR:
[ { "content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [27 M] met an amazing girl [29 F], but my superficial prejudices could screw it up.\n\nPOST: I went on an online date with an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, and we just had chemistry. I've been on many online dates, and the awkward silence during certain bits of the date is just par for the course. This date was different. We always had something to talk about, and more over we were on the same page. We'd even say the same thing at the same time - it was surreal.\n\nThis girl is also beautiful. She was a bit heavier than her pictures, but this is something I've come to expect from online dating, and I didn't really mind.\n\nDate 2 was great too. More of that awesome chemistry, more of that great conversation. Then the clothes started coming off, and I don't know why, but she was just a lot heavier than I thought under the clothes. I don't know if she was much bigger than I thought, but her bodyfat ratio was high, and she didn't wear the fat well.\n\nI am very attracted to her when she's clothed, but I have to admit I became less attracted after she got naked. I hate that I even have to say it because our chemistry is so perfect, and she has a very pretty face even.\n\nSo now I'm in conflict. I am thinking I want to hang out with her at least one more time to see if I can get over this, but I don't want to lead her on. I hate that my superficial prejudices could screw up an amazing connection like this. What should I do?\n\nTL;DR:", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Met an amazing girl. Had an amazing connection. Problem is she looks better with clothes on than off. I'm in conflict about how to proceed.", "role": "assistant" } ]
t3_4bvotl
relationships
I [27 M] met an amazing girl [29 F], but my superficial prejudices could screw it up.
I went on an online date with an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, and we just had chemistry. I've been on many online dates, and the awkward silence during certain bits of the date is just par for the course. This date was different. We always had something to talk about, and more over we were on the same page. We'd even say the same thing at the same time - it was surreal. This girl is also beautiful. She was a bit heavier than her pictures, but this is something I've come to expect from online dating, and I didn't really mind. Date 2 was great too. More of that awesome chemistry, more of that great conversation. Then the clothes started coming off, and I don't know why, but she was just a lot heavier than I thought under the clothes. I don't know if she was much bigger than I thought, but her bodyfat ratio was high, and she didn't wear the fat well. I am very attracted to her when she's clothed, but I have to admit I became less attracted after she got naked. I hate that I even have to say it because our chemistry is so perfect, and she has a very pretty face even. So now I'm in conflict. I am thinking I want to hang out with her at least one more time to see if I can get over this, but I don't want to lead her on. I hate that my superficial prejudices could screw up an amazing connection like this. What should I do?
Met an amazing girl. Had an amazing connection. Problem is she looks better with clothes on than off. I'm in conflict about how to proceed.
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