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Large Hadron Collider

Large Hadron Collider

https://www.xkcd.com/401

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/401:_Large_Hadron_Collider

The Large Hadron Collider, CERN... Megan: Okay, moment of truth. "click" Large Hadron Collider: "VVVVVRRMMMMMM" Cueball: Do you see the Higgs Boson? Megan: Nope. Cueball: Huh. Megan: Well, then. Cueball: Until the theorists get back to us, wanna try hitting pigeons with the proton stream? Megan: Already on it. Cool! I just gave a helicopter cancer.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is the world's largest particle accelerator, used in physics research, and particularly for finding the Higgs Boson . The Higgs Boson is one quantum excitation of the Higgs Field, in the same way as the photon is a quantum of the electromagnetic field. Interaction between particles and the Higgs field can explain why other particles have mass. The Higgs Boson was first detected in 2012, and confirmed to exist in March 2013. It was the last particle of the Standard Model of Physics to be experimentally confirmed. At the time of this comic's writing, the LHC was nearing completion, and the comic imagines experimental physicists starting up the LHC for the first time. It has taken many years to complete, and its intended purpose was to be able to measure the Higgs Boson. In the comic, the experiment fails to observe the Higgs Boson. The researchers can only wait for the theorists to determine what may have happened, if something went wrong, or if they can come up with a testable hypothesis. In 2012, and after many years of experimentation and observation, the Higgs Boson was observed at CERN's LHC. This comic imagines what the researchers may have done with the LHC in between tests. After the experiment failed, the bored physicists try frying pigeons with the proton stream and instead end up giving a helicopter cancer, both of which are impossible. This is because the stream is contained within the LHC, and non-organic entities can't get cancer [ citation needed ] . However, the proton stream could cause considerable damage to pigeons or humans, as the U-70 synchrotron did to Anatoli Bugorski in 1978. At that time there was also a big concern by some people that the LHC could produce microscopic black holes . However, cosmic rays regularly strike Earth's atmosphere with particles at higher energies; thus, if the proposed doomsday scenario were possible, it should have already happened. Many jokes were published like this video "LHC End of The World Black Hole" . The title text makes another joke about the effects of highly energetic particles, claiming that when they pass through a bubble chamber (an older particle detection device), they leave a trail of candy. TeV means tera electronvolt and equals 10 12 eV. 5 TeV is about the energy of the LHC. It is of the order of the energy of a flying mosquito and would never be able to convert a liquid to candy or anything macroscopic. The Large Hadron Collider, CERN... Megan: Okay, moment of truth. "click" Large Hadron Collider: "VVVVVRRMMMMMM" Cueball: Do you see the Higgs Boson? Megan: Nope. Cueball: Huh. Megan: Well, then. Cueball: Until the theorists get back to us, wanna try hitting pigeons with the proton stream? Megan: Already on it. Cool! I just gave a helicopter cancer.

1,000 Miles North

1,000 Miles North

https://www.xkcd.com/402

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/402:_1,000_Miles_North

[A van (almost exiting the frame to the right) and a pickup truck behind the van are driving on a road where dust blows up behind the tires. There are three mountain peaks in the background. In the rear of the truck is a cylindrical-shaped object. Above the truck there are two frames with yellow background and text. The top frame is at the height of the mountains, the other just above the truck.] 1,000 miles north of tornado alley A new breed of scientists has emerged. [At the base of a mountain (or glacier front) to the right, Cueball runs towards Ponytail (as shown with a curling line behind his raised leg). He is carrying a laptop in his arms, and he has a headset with antenna and microphone on. Ponytail is holding a probe in both hands, maybe drilling it into the ground. Grass and small rocks are drawn around them. At the top is another frame with yellow background and text.] Half researchers, half adrenaline junkies Ponytail: What's the reading? Cueball: 3.9 meters down, gradient's off the charts! [The pickup truck is shown in a zoom in from the side. Cueball is driving very fast, while holding a Walkie-talkie up to his head. The cylinder in the rear, from the first frame, now clearly turns out to be some kind of instrument with a small parabolic disc and a smaller antenna, and there are some labels and a text is written across it, although it is difficult to read. At the top is another frame with yellow background and text.] Risking everything for the thrill of the hunt Cueball: The freeze line is shifting! We've never seen anything like it! Cylinder: Riwan [Ponytail is holding a large video camera down towards a tiny spot of grass on the ground. He is standing in a barren field with one small mountain to the left and three small mountain peaks to the right in background. Behind him is a large box connected to a small radio with a long antenna. Cueball speaks to him over his walkie-talkie, his voice coming from the radio via a zigzag line. At the top is a final frame with yellow background and text.] Permafrost chasers Ponytail: I'm getting some great footage here! Cueball: Dammit, Harding, it's not worth your neck! Get the hell out of there!

Spoofing off of tornado chasers are these permafrost chasers, who are just like tornado chasers, but they are chasing very boring [ citation needed ] permafrost. Permafrost is a layer of ground that never thaws, unlike ground closer to the equator, where the ground freezes in winter and thaws in the spring. The title text references the 1996 movie Twister about a crazy group of tornado chasers trying to drop a probe-releasing device named Dorothy (based on the real-life project TOTO ) into the heart of a tornado. However, much of the story was about Bill and his ex, both chasers, falling back in love, another chaser who is fighting Bill for research grants and fame, and a tornado that likes to chase people. Randall comments that the movie would have been better if they had lost all of the above except the tornadoes and the scientist, which is basically all you need for a good movie. And then he continues his musings by saying that tornadoes and scientists "are all you need for anything." This seems to be the first comic mentioning tornadoes, but since then they have become a recurring subject on xkcd, and in the next two tornado comics, 640: Tornado Hunter and 752: Phobia , tornadoes and tornado chasers are actually featured. [A van (almost exiting the frame to the right) and a pickup truck behind the van are driving on a road where dust blows up behind the tires. There are three mountain peaks in the background. In the rear of the truck is a cylindrical-shaped object. Above the truck there are two frames with yellow background and text. The top frame is at the height of the mountains, the other just above the truck.] 1,000 miles north of tornado alley A new breed of scientists has emerged. [At the base of a mountain (or glacier front) to the right, Cueball runs towards Ponytail (as shown with a curling line behind his raised leg). He is carrying a laptop in his arms, and he has a headset with antenna and microphone on. Ponytail is holding a probe in both hands, maybe drilling it into the ground. Grass and small rocks are drawn around them. At the top is another frame with yellow background and text.] Half researchers, half adrenaline junkies Ponytail: What's the reading? Cueball: 3.9 meters down, gradient's off the charts! [The pickup truck is shown in a zoom in from the side. Cueball is driving very fast, while holding a Walkie-talkie up to his head. The cylinder in the rear, from the first frame, now clearly turns out to be some kind of instrument with a small parabolic disc and a smaller antenna, and there are some labels and a text is written across it, although it is difficult to read. At the top is another frame with yellow background and text.] Risking everything for the thrill of the hunt Cueball: The freeze line is shifting! We've never seen anything like it! Cylinder: Riwan [Ponytail is holding a large video camera down towards a tiny spot of grass on the ground. He is standing in a barren field with one small mountain to the left and three small mountain peaks to the right in background. Behind him is a large box connected to a small radio with a long antenna. Cueball speaks to him over his walkie-talkie, his voice coming from the radio via a zigzag line. At the top is a final frame with yellow background and text.] Permafrost chasers Ponytail: I'm getting some great footage here! Cueball: Dammit, Harding, it's not worth your neck! Get the hell out of there!

Convincing Pickup Line

Convincing Pickup Line

https://www.xkcd.com/403

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/403:_Convincing_Pickup_Line

[Cueball and Megan sit at a small table in a cafe. Megan holds up a graph.] Megan: We're a terrible match. But if we sleep together, it'll make the local hookup network a symmetric graph. Cueball: I can't argue with that.

A graph is a mathematical object consisting of nodes connected by lines called edges . The nodes could represent for example people, and the edges could represent a connection from having slept together. Now, Megan has such a graph. Arguably, a graph that is symmetric is nicer than a regular one, which is why Megan suggests that they should sleep together. The title text is a small-world joke on the concept of an Erdős number . Paul Erdős was a Hungarian mathematician renowned for his eccentricity and productivity. He holds the world record for the number of published math papers, as well as for the number of collaborative papers. A person's Erdős number is the "collaborative distance" between the person and Erdős. Paul Erdős's Erdős number is 0 by definition. All of his 511 collaborators have the Erdős number of 1; anyone (excluding Erdős) who has collaborated on a mathematical or scientific paper with any of those collaborators has an Erdős number of 2, and so on. Thus, if you have written a paper with someone who's written a paper with someone who's written a paper with Paul Erdős, your Erdős number is 3. If you know a mathematician or are a mathematician, you can calculate their or your Erdős number here . This may also be a reference to Chapter 4 of Candide , wherein Pangloss tells the protagonist of the genealogy of his syphilis. He received the disease from Paquette, who acquired it from a Franciscan , as so on until the lineage starts with one of the adventurers of Christopher Columbus . In 599: Apocalypse , Cueball actually manages to write a paper with zombie Erdős, thus having a Erdős number of 1. [Cueball and Megan sit at a small table in a cafe. Megan holds up a graph.] Megan: We're a terrible match. But if we sleep together, it'll make the local hookup network a symmetric graph. Cueball: I can't argue with that.

Not Found

https://www.xkcd.com/404

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/404:_Not_Found

[Instead of the regular xkcd site layout, just a white page that states on top center:] 404 Not Found [Page-wide divider line] [Below that in a smaller font:] nginx It thus leaves the xkcd page.

There is no image for xkcd comic numbered 404. Randall did, however, not skip a day! The previous comic 403: Convincing Pickup Line was released Monday March 31st 2008, and he put the next comic, 405: Journal 3 , up as scheduled on Wednesday April 2nd 2008, which leads some to see the 404 as an April Fools' Day joke released in between, as comic 404: Not Found released on Tuesday April 1st 2008. This was thus the first April Fools' comic released by Randall (not counting the unnumbered Syndication released the previous year). The next (and first real) April Fools' Day comic was not released until 880: Headache on Friday April 1st 2011, although Randall did make other jokes in the years in between. "404" is the HTTP Response Code for " Not Found ." Randall deliberately skipped comic number 404 in xkcd. Therefore, when people go to xkcd 404 , they get a "404 Not Found" error page. (This does not work in all browsers. In newer versions of Internet Explorer, a message about the link being broken occurs without the 404 code.) Randall has stated that he considers 404 an official, actual comic, albeit a rather avant-garde one , and that for a time he made it possible to find it using the "random" button on xkcd.com. He once again displays this in the 2018 April Fools' joke, 1975: Right Click , where you can access all of his comics up to Right Click from the right click menu, and the menu includes this one specifically due to the strange "title"! It may seem like a random coincidence that xkcd 403 came out the day before April 1st 2008. And for sure it must have been by chance that it would come out close to that date when Randall began posting on xkcd. But when Randall noticed this fact, at some point prior to that date, he would, however, have had a chance to influence the release date. In November 2007, less than half a year before this April 1st, he released the 1337 series over five consecutive days. That would have moved the release date of 403 from Friday the 4th of April to the Monday it was actually released - making it possible to skip comic 404 as if it came out on April 1st without skipping a comic on a normal release day. There was at least one other series in 2007 to use all five days of a week ( Choices ), so maybe he had this planned for a long time? It is perhaps an interesting point that the very next comic, 405: Journal 3 , includes the line "So, you found me after all." In 1969: Not Available , the error message 404 is referenced in the caption. This is featured in a few comics to come, including 1975: Right Click (in File > Open > C:\ > Bookmarks/ > Comics > comic num 404). [Instead of the regular xkcd site layout, just a white page that states on top center:] 404 Not Found [Page-wide divider line] [Below that in a smaller font:] nginx It thus leaves the xkcd page.

Journal 3

Journal 3

https://www.xkcd.com/405

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/405:_Journal_3

[Two women ice-skating outside.] Ponytail: Wait up! Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): Skate faster! [Danish sees cracking ice.] Crack Crack [Danish on chunk of ice broken off.] Crack Rumble [Submarine dorsal fin emerging.] AWOOGA [Black Hat (minus hat) coming out of hatch.] CREAK Black Hat: Hi. Black Hat: That's my hat you're wearing. Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): So, you found me after all. Black Hat (out of frame): You didn't make it easy. Black Hat: You saw through me, all right. But not quite well enough. Black Hat: Because if you wanted to stay lost forever, you made one mistake [Black Hat climbing out of hatch.] [Black Hat sliding down a sheet of ice.] [Black Hat snatches hat from Danish's head as he slides by on the ice.] [Black Hat skidding to a stop and putting hat back on his head.] Black Hat: You took my hat. Black Hat: I LIKE my hat. [Black Hat walking away.] [Danish left standing.]

In Journal 1, Black Hat explains to Cueball that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance. In Journal 2, however, Danish sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process. Initially stunned, Black Hat seems to have quickly recovered and tracked Danish down, even to the ends of the earth. He tells Danish that although she was able to read him brilliantly, she miscalculated one minor detail. We are led to believe that this is some mistake in the covering of her tracks, but then he explains that it was simply how much he values his hat. It may also be the possibility that Black Hat placed a tracking device of some sort on his hat. This way he gets back at her. She thought that he would mourn the loss of her - the only person who understands him - but he deflates her ego when claiming that he likes his hat (implicitly saying that he doesn't care for her). The series continues in 432: Journal 4 . The title text continues the theme of Black Hat's superhuman ability to troll and to avoid the consequences: If Black Hat stole a military submarine, said military is probably going to be hot on his tail, but he writes it off with: "just tell them it was always here," as if it is no big deal. Black Hat will even be blamed for stealing the submarine in 496: Secretary: Part 3 . However, since this is (presumably) the American Senate reviewing him, it may be that he simply has stolen two submarines. It is perhaps an interesting point that this comic includes the line "So, you found me after all," given that the previous comic number xkcd 404 was skipped, leading instead to an HTTP 404 Not Found error page. The whole " Journal " story is: [Two women ice-skating outside.] Ponytail: Wait up! Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): Skate faster! [Danish sees cracking ice.] Crack Crack [Danish on chunk of ice broken off.] Crack Rumble [Submarine dorsal fin emerging.] AWOOGA [Black Hat (minus hat) coming out of hatch.] CREAK Black Hat: Hi. Black Hat: That's my hat you're wearing. Danish (wearing Black Hat's Hat): So, you found me after all. Black Hat (out of frame): You didn't make it easy. Black Hat: You saw through me, all right. But not quite well enough. Black Hat: Because if you wanted to stay lost forever, you made one mistake [Black Hat climbing out of hatch.] [Black Hat sliding down a sheet of ice.] [Black Hat snatches hat from Danish's head as he slides by on the ice.] [Black Hat skidding to a stop and putting hat back on his head.] Black Hat: You took my hat. Black Hat: I LIKE my hat. [Black Hat walking away.] [Danish left standing.]

Venting

Venting

https://www.xkcd.com/406

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/406:_Venting

[Caption above the panel:] When I need to blow off steam, I find a particularly stupid blog comment and reply with an exhaustively researched word-by-word rebuttal, which I sign 'Summer Glau'. [Cueball is sitting at a desk, typing in front of a monitor. A curved line leads up from his hands to the text above.] In conclusion, on examining the above post by CrackMonkey74, after carefully working my way through the haze of spelling errors (documented in section 3), abuse of capitalization (section 4), and general crimes against grammar and syntax (sections 7-8), I have demonstrated that, beneath it all, the work betrays the author's staggering ignorance of the history and the workings of our electoral system. While the author's wildly swerving train of thought did at one point flirt with coherence, this brief encounter was more likely a chance event (see statistical analysis in table 5) than a result of even rudimentary lucidity. -Summer Glau P.S. Don't forget to check out the next season of the Sarah Connor Chronicles this fall on Fox!

This is yet another xkcd comic referencing Firefly , but it's not so much about Firefly itself as about Summer Glau . Summer Glau is an American actress best known for playing River Tam in Firefly and Serenity , as well as Cameron in the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles series. Cueball says that he gives a long and seemingly well-researched reply to a stupid comment on a blog when he feels angry as a way to vent. What we see of his comment begins with Cueball describing the original comment's incoherent and inconsistent spelling and grammar. Then, he proceeds to rip apart the commentator by citing their historical and political ignorance. He signs his comment as 'Summer Glau', after which he reminds the blogger to watch the next season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles series . One likely reason that he uses 'Summer Glau' is that she is worshiped by geeks the world over, even those incapable of writing coherent blog posts or comments. CrackMonkey74 would not risk responding negatively to the post, just in case it was actually written by Summer Glau, as they don't want everyone to hate them for attempting to argue with her. In this way, Cueball is assured of the last word in this argument, which makes for a most satisfying vent. Another possible explanation is that River Tam has a genius-level intellect and is also mentally disturbed. Given xkcd's trend of comparing Firefly characters to their respective actors (especially in The Race ), Cueball is probably using Summer Glau's name simply because an exhaustively researched blog comment seems like something River Tam -- and thus possibly Summer Glau -- would do. The title text refers to the famous dialogue delivered by River Tam in Firefly Episode 11: " Trash ". [Caption above the panel:] When I need to blow off steam, I find a particularly stupid blog comment and reply with an exhaustively researched word-by-word rebuttal, which I sign 'Summer Glau'. [Cueball is sitting at a desk, typing in front of a monitor. A curved line leads up from his hands to the text above.] In conclusion, on examining the above post by CrackMonkey74, after carefully working my way through the haze of spelling errors (documented in section 3), abuse of capitalization (section 4), and general crimes against grammar and syntax (sections 7-8), I have demonstrated that, beneath it all, the work betrays the author's staggering ignorance of the history and the workings of our electoral system. While the author's wildly swerving train of thought did at one point flirt with coherence, this brief encounter was more likely a chance event (see statistical analysis in table 5) than a result of even rudimentary lucidity. -Summer Glau P.S. Don't forget to check out the next season of the Sarah Connor Chronicles this fall on Fox!

Cheap GPS

Cheap GPS

https://www.xkcd.com/407

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/407:_Cheap_GPS

[Cueball driving down the road, with a GPS reading "COLD."] GPS: COLD... WARM... HOT! COLD...

GPS is a system allowing people to find their location and from that, speed on Earth. It was first developed for the U.S. military, but now it sees international usage for everyday navigation. Many motorists today have GPS devices (sometimes just called GPS's) that can give driving directions electronically. Hot and Cold is a children's activity/game where one person searches for an unknown object, and the rest must respond "Hot" or "Cold." Other words, such as "warm" and "cool" can be used to describe their distance more accurately. The closer the player is to the mystery object, the "hotter" they are. This GPS would be extremely difficult to use, as it gives no directions, only telling you how close you are to reaching your destination. The series of instructions spoken ("cold," "warm," "hot," then "cold" again) suggests that Cueball either missed a turn, or that he just passed his destination. Randall describes a past engineering project of his that can only describe turns "as the crow flies." So, for example, if he was driving north with the destination to the northeast, the GPS would tell him to turn right even if no such turn was legally possible. Perhaps not very functional, but it is a pretty cool thing to build. While cars go fast and are only allowed to, or able to, use a very limited number of all roads and trails in the world, this is less so for pedestrians. As a consequence, for hikers, an app that just shows the direction you should be walking in 'as the crow flies' is actually quite a common and useful tool, since a lot of small roads suitable for pedestrians do not show up on maps. Of course, just printing 'left' or 'right' is much more primitive than showing an arrow in the correct direction (compass-like), and often less helpful since on one cross section there can be multiple trails to the right. [Cueball driving down the road, with a GPS reading "COLD."] GPS: COLD... WARM... HOT! COLD...

Overqualified

Overqualified

https://www.xkcd.com/408

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/408:_Overqualified

[Megan on the phone.] Megan: I know you're not that into my sister, but she's really crushing on you. Cueball: Yeah, it's awkward. Megan: She's in a rough spot. It's a lot to ask, but could you take her out and... Dissuade her, without rejecting her? Cueball: Wait a second. Are you asking me to show her a mediocre time? Megan: I know it's a weird— [Cueball raising index finger.] Cueball: No, no! This is the mission I was born for. Megan: I figured you could handle it. Cueball: One of my classic high-school dates coming up! Megan: Oh God. Don't overdo it.

Megan 's sister has a crush on Cueball , but Cueball doesn't feel the same way about her sister. To alleviate the situation without hurting Megan's sister's feelings, Megan wants Cueball to deliberately take her sister out on a bad date to convince her that Cueball is not worth dating, so that her sister can move on without rejection. Cueball is excited to finally excel at dating badly. He claims to have been born for the task of giving a bad date. He promises to emulate one of his classic high school dates, indicating that they went terribly as well. The joke is based on the reversal of expectations and Cueball's subsequent excitement at the chance to provide a terrible date. Megan's response of "Oh God, don't overdo it" may also imply that she was one of Cueball's high school dates and doesn't want her sister to be subjected to what she remembers of Cueball's approach to relationships. The title text implies that Randall is reflecting on previous bad dates. When they occurred, he had either no excuse or a poor excuse for why he was so awkward, but now "deliberately being mediocre" is going to be used as his explanation. It is similar to thinking of a good comeback to an insult after the fact; this is his retort to ships that sailed long ago. [Megan on the phone.] Megan: I know you're not that into my sister, but she's really crushing on you. Cueball: Yeah, it's awkward. Megan: She's in a rough spot. It's a lot to ask, but could you take her out and... Dissuade her, without rejecting her? Cueball: Wait a second. Are you asking me to show her a mediocre time? Megan: I know it's a weird— [Cueball raising index finger.] Cueball: No, no! This is the mission I was born for. Megan: I figured you could handle it. Cueball: One of my classic high-school dates coming up! Megan: Oh God. Don't overdo it.

Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)

Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)

https://www.xkcd.com/409

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/409:_Electric_Skateboard_(Double_Comic)

[Cueball showing off electric skateboard to Megan reading something.] Cueball: Check it out! An electric longboard! Megan: Sweet! [Cueball riding longboard with Megan sitting onboard — people in background.] Longboard: RRRR [Megan turned around on longboard.] Megan: I feel like we're missing something... Cueball: Yeah... [Cueball holding 3 green Koopa Troopa shells; Megan throwing 1 red Koopa Troopa shell - like Mario Kart.] Music Playing Longboard: RRRR [Cueball and Megan still on longboard, going up an incline.] Cueball: Skating uphill like this is amazing. Years of gliding downhill and pushing uphill, and now suddenly it's gliding both ways. Longboard: RRRRRRR [Cueball and Megan after passing an S-curve and boulder.] Cueball: It's like going from C to Python. You don't realize how much time you were spending on the boring parts until you don't have to do them anymore. Megan: But coding C or assembly makes you a better programmer. Maybe the boring parts build character. [Cueball and Megan on longboard.] Cueball: Yeah... but it depends how you want to spend your life. See, my philosophy is- [Longboard gets into an accident.] WHAM [Calvin and Hobbes lying down in the grass near Cueball and Megan lying down in the grass - Calvin and Hobbes's wagon is on the path, as is the longboard - all characters seeing stars.]

This comic is an affectionate parody of Calvin and Hobbes , a newspaper comic drawn by Bill Watterson that ran for ten years from November 1985 to December 1995. Calvin and Hobbes follows the daily life of a rambunctious, precocious six-year-old named Calvin and his sarcastic stuffed tiger Hobbes. The artwork in the second strip is distinctly Wattersonian as well. This comic could be referencing the typical Sunday strip format of having a top line of "throwaway panels" that had a one-off gag before the rest of the strip, which was more detailed. This was an effect of Sunday strip formatting in newspapers, where individual newspaper often lopped off the top one-third of the comic to save space. Thus, strip creators had to use the top panels on throwaway gags or else the readers of a space-saving newspaper would be missing key parts of the strip. Calvin and Hobbes is also referenced in 529: Sledding Discussion . Randall has a special fascination with motorized skateboards . A longboard is a skateboard that is longer, used for downhill races, and skating through less urban areas (college campuses, for example). Mario Kart is a game series for Nintendo game consoles that allows four players to race each other while having good spirited fun like at 290: Fucking Blue Shells while throwing items at each other. The objects in the fourth panel are Koopa shells, items in the game. They can be thrown like projectiles to crash into foes: green in a straight line, red homing onto the racer directly in front. They also come in single and triple varieties. In Mario Kart: Double Dash!! , two racers occupy the same vehicle, with each possessing their own item slot (in contrast with most games in the series, in which a single vehicle can only have a single item ready, and must use it to obtain another). This is reflected in the drawing of Cueball and Megan together on the electric longboard, with Megan using a Red Shell and Cueball holding the triple Green Shells. Calvin and Hobbes frequently involves heavy philosophical discussions. In one recurring theme, they ride down a dangerous hill in a red wagon or toboggan while discussing the nature of morality, usually ending in a crash (examples [1] [2] [3] ). This comic inverts that by having Cueball and Megan go uphill while discussing philosophy. Naturally, they collide with Calvin and Hobbes' wagon - which prompts the title text. Cueball uses the C and Python programming languages as analogies for their ride. In general, Python is easier than C and abstracts a lot of C's hairier features ("boring parts," as Randall calls them). Moving from C to Python is quite a freeing experience ; programmers no longer have to worry about pointers and memory allocation, and it just lets the code flow through the programmer until they are one with the Force. Erm, computer. Although, it seems that - before the crash - the idea that programming in C (and skating without electricity) building character is about to be explored philosophically (building character is also a recurring theme in Calvin and Hobbes, as documented delightfully in the Calvin and Hobbes wiki ). Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like 139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards , a panel in 442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel , and the entire The Race five part comic series. [Cueball showing off electric skateboard to Megan reading something.] Cueball: Check it out! An electric longboard! Megan: Sweet! [Cueball riding longboard with Megan sitting onboard — people in background.] Longboard: RRRR [Megan turned around on longboard.] Megan: I feel like we're missing something... Cueball: Yeah... [Cueball holding 3 green Koopa Troopa shells; Megan throwing 1 red Koopa Troopa shell - like Mario Kart.] Music Playing Longboard: RRRR [Cueball and Megan still on longboard, going up an incline.] Cueball: Skating uphill like this is amazing. Years of gliding downhill and pushing uphill, and now suddenly it's gliding both ways. Longboard: RRRRRRR [Cueball and Megan after passing an S-curve and boulder.] Cueball: It's like going from C to Python. You don't realize how much time you were spending on the boring parts until you don't have to do them anymore. Megan: But coding C or assembly makes you a better programmer. Maybe the boring parts build character. [Cueball and Megan on longboard.] Cueball: Yeah... but it depends how you want to spend your life. See, my philosophy is- [Longboard gets into an accident.] WHAM [Calvin and Hobbes lying down in the grass near Cueball and Megan lying down in the grass - Calvin and Hobbes's wagon is on the path, as is the longboard - all characters seeing stars.]

Math Paper

Math Paper

https://www.xkcd.com/410

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/410:_Math_Paper

[Cueball, holding a pointing stick, is using it to point at an equation on a panel. He is looking to the right. There are several parts of the panel that can be read. At the top, there is a formula. Below is a frame with text. Below again to the left is an X-Y plot with small dots all over all four quadrants, probably indicating the complex numbers with b on the Y and a on the X axis. Finally, right of this is yet another formula.] Cueball: In my paper, I use an extension of the divisor function over the Gaussian integers to generalize the so-called "friendly numbers" into the complex plane. Panel: σ(n)/n = d(n) Friendly #s share d(n) For a + bi... [The audience to the right of Cueball consist of two Cueball-like guys (one in front and one in the back), and between them are Hairbun, with glasses, and Megan. They sit around a table; only Hairbun is on the near side. The Cueball-like guy sitting to the right is at the end of the table, the other two are on the far side. The Cueball at the end of the table is talking, the other three have turned to look at him:] Guy at the end of the table: Hold on. Is this paper simply a giant build-up to an "imaginary friends" pun? [Back to Cueball, who stands speechless.] [One more beat panel with Cueball, who now looks down.] [Zoom out to Cueball and the front end of the table with the Cueball-like guy who has not spoken yet and Hairbun who now looks at Cueball. Cueball looks up again and speaks. The guy at the end of the table speaks off panel.] Cueball: It might not be. Guy at the end of the table (off panel): I'm sorry, we're revoking your math license.

The math paper Cueball is in the process of describing in this comic turns out to be nothing but an elaborate setup for a joke about imaginary friends by taking the concept of " friendly numbers " into the complex (imaginary) plane, which comprises complex numbers that have both a real and an imaginary part (see details below ). Cueball is challenged on this setup by his superiors, specifically the Cueball-like guy sitting at the end of the table, who look straight through his first line-up for the joke, and ask him directly if this is just a build-up for this joke. Cueball tries at first to look like he has no idea what he's talking about, then lowers his head, in shame, and finally tries to state that it might not be such a setup. But it is too late now. Such a pun is both so obvious and so terrible that Cueball's superiors deem that he should no longer have a license to math , and they thus revoke Cueball's "math license." Of course you do not need a math license [ citation needed ] , but that is part of the comic's concept along the lines mentioned here below and further elaborated in the title text. It is a recurring theme in earlier xkcd comics that Cueball (or Randall ) ends up being banned from holding presentations at conferences after a presentation turns out to be just an elaborate pun. The title text takes the joke a step further, with the added hilarity of making the audience question exactly how Cueball/Randall was able to work a striptease into a presentation about genetic engineering and astrophysical rocket study (or possibly genetics and rockets into a striptease), and then even manage to lose all three licenses in one go. This is what TV Tropes calls a " noodle incident ." The whole comic is basically Randall making the joke that Cueball never got around to, but packing it up so we think it is about something else. Randall has often made such feeble jokes, but by putting them into a context where someone listening may comment on how bad that joke is or have to explain the joke, it somehow becomes alright, and he can get away with these jokes anyway. (See for instance 18: Snapple ). An imaginary number is a number that can be written as a real number multiplied by the imaginary unit i , which is defined by its property i 2 = -1 (an impossibility for regular, " real numbers ," for which all squares are positive). The name "imaginary number" was coined in the 17th century as a derogatory term, since such numbers were regarded by some as fictitious or useless, but over time, many applications in science and engineering have been found. An imaginary number bi can be added to a real number a to form a complex number of the form a + bi (the formula shown at the bottom of Cueball's slide ), where a and b are called, respectively, the real part and the imaginary part of the complex number. If a and b are both integers, the complex number is called a Gaussian integer (as Cueball mentions). The complex plane is an X-Y plot with a on the X axis and b on the Y axis. (Such a plane is shown at the bottom of Cueball's slide). Joel Bradbury (once) had the below cited and wonderful explanation of friendly numbers on his site: What are Friendly Numbers? We need first to define a divisor function over the integers, written σ(n) if you're so inclined. To get it first we get all the integers that divide into n. So for 3, it's 1 and 3. For 4, it's 1, 2, and 4, and for 5 it's only 1 and 5. Now sum them to get σ(n). So σ(3) = 1 + 3 = 4, or σ(4) = 1 + 2 + 4 = 7, and so on. For each of these n, there is something called a characteristic ratio. Now that's just the divisors function over the integer itself: σ(n)/n. (This is the formula shown at the top of Cueball's slide). So the characteristic ratio where n = 6 is σ(6)/6 = 12/6 = 2. Once you have the characteristic ratio for any integer n, any other integers that share the same characteristic are called friendly with each other. (This is what is written in the frame in Cueball's slide, spelling friendly numbers as friendly #s ). So to put it simply, a friendly number is any integer that shares its characteristic ratio with at least one other integer. The converse of that is called a solitary number, where it doesn't share its characteristic with anyone else. 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 are solitary. 6 is friendly with 28; σ(6)/6 = (1+2+3+6)/6 = 12/6 = 2 = 56/28 = (1+2+4+7+14+28)/28 = σ(28)/28. [Cueball, holding a pointing stick, is using it to point at an equation on a panel. He is looking to the right. There are several parts of the panel that can be read. At the top, there is a formula. Below is a frame with text. Below again to the left is an X-Y plot with small dots all over all four quadrants, probably indicating the complex numbers with b on the Y and a on the X axis. Finally, right of this is yet another formula.] Cueball: In my paper, I use an extension of the divisor function over the Gaussian integers to generalize the so-called "friendly numbers" into the complex plane. Panel: σ(n)/n = d(n) Friendly #s share d(n) For a + bi... [The audience to the right of Cueball consist of two Cueball-like guys (one in front and one in the back), and between them are Hairbun, with glasses, and Megan. They sit around a table; only Hairbun is on the near side. The Cueball-like guy sitting to the right is at the end of the table, the other two are on the far side. The Cueball at the end of the table is talking, the other three have turned to look at him:] Guy at the end of the table: Hold on. Is this paper simply a giant build-up to an "imaginary friends" pun? [Back to Cueball, who stands speechless.] [One more beat panel with Cueball, who now looks down.] [Zoom out to Cueball and the front end of the table with the Cueball-like guy who has not spoken yet and Hairbun who now looks at Cueball. Cueball looks up again and speaks. The guy at the end of the table speaks off panel.] Cueball: It might not be. Guy at the end of the table (off panel): I'm sorry, we're revoking your math license.

Techno

Techno

https://www.xkcd.com/411

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/411:_Techno

[Cueball looking over Megan's shoulder while she is clicking her mouse with her other hand on her chin.] Cueball: Wait, you're buying techno on iTunes? Megan: Yeah. So? Cueball: Couldn't you just loop the 15-second free sample 20 times and get basically the same thing?

Cueball points out that due to the repetitive nature of techno music , the iTunes 15 second sample can be used to recreate the entire song. This is for the many repetitions in techno music, usually repeating it 4 (or other powers of two) times. The title text refers to the clicking and grinding noises of a dying hard drive, a sound similar to some techno songs. The title text suggests that this actually exists: an example is here . Techno music is also mentioned in 586: Mission to Culture and 740: The Tell-Tale Beat . Sampling and looping sounds that aren't necessarily musical is mentioned in 2427: Perseverance Microphones . [Cueball looking over Megan's shoulder while she is clicking her mouse with her other hand on her chin.] Cueball: Wait, you're buying techno on iTunes? Megan: Yeah. So? Cueball: Couldn't you just loop the 15-second free sample 20 times and get basically the same thing?

Startled

Startled

https://www.xkcd.com/412

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/412:_Startled

[Wide panel. Cueball and Megan are standing to one side. Black Hat is standing some distance away. Megan is looking at Cueball while pointing both at Cueball and at Black Hat.] [Normal sized panel. Zoom in as Megan sneaks up close to Black Hat, who now looks a little upwards.] [An inserted panel only half the height of the normal panels, but with its top lifted slightly above their levels and with its frame crossing both the previous and the next normal. It shows a close-up of Megan with hands raised while shouting.] Megan: Boo! [Only Black Hat is shown in this thin panel. He looks shocked, which is indicated by him taking his hands to his face, lines behind his head, and that his hat jumps up above his head, showing that he has a bit of hair under it.] [The next three panels are even thinner than the previous, but they stay the same size. First, the hat falls down over Black Hat's head down to his shoulders, without the hat changes size. The movement is indicated with two lines above the hat. Black Hat crosses his arms across his chest and bends in the knees.] [Then the hat keeps falling over his body, swallowing it so only his legs below his knees are visible.] [Finally the hat hits the ground with a large sound, also indicated with seven "U" shaped lines around the hat. There is no sign of Black Hat.] Fwump [The last two panels are in another row below the previous panel, but there are no panels under the two first panels in the first row. This could indicate that time has passed, or is just a way to create a dramatic effect, as with all the other changes in panel size and position above. This panel's width is somewhere between the first two panels. Cueball and Megan look at the hat, Cueball with a hand in front of his mouth.] [The last panel is as wide as the first, but extends farther to the right than the last panel in he first row, again breaking the symmetry. Megan and Cueball still look on (both with hands down) as the hat begins to crawl away. The movement makes sounds and is indicated with four lines behind the hat now farther away from the two.] Scooch Scooch Scooch

Black Hat , the cool-headed troll, has the tables turned on him. Almost always seen antagonizing other characters, Black Hat is shown in this comic in a rare moment of losing face. Megan notices Black Hat facing away from Cueball and her, and decides to play a simple, childish prank on him: sneaking up from behind and shouting "Boo!". She succeeds in startling Black Hat. Most likely out of humiliation, he hides himself completely in his hat. For a moment, it looks like Black Hat has disappeared altogether. But then his hat inches away, showing that he's still underneath. It is possible that he was set on edge by Danish, as the period from journals 3-4 was clearly an emotional time for him. Both gags in this comic work by playing on our expectations. The first is an unexpected moment of realism: we are so used to seeing Black Hat cool and untroubled that we are surprised at the reminder that everyone's appearance is, to some extent, a facade. Black Hat is still human. (The comic 455: Hats is related to this one, as it is also about black hats and how the usually all powerful Black Hat becomes the smaller one, in this case in tallness of hat towers.) The second gag, on the other hand, is the opposite: we are so used to understanding the stick figures (and specifically the established character that is Black Hat) as representing regular humans, albeit ones with larger-than-life personalities, that we're caught by surprise to see Black Hat so thoroughly defy realism in a fashion not unlike what one could find in a Tex Avery-type cartoon. Among the further interpretations of the gag, one could see: The title text is only "...", implying that Randall himself shares the reaction of Cueball and Megan, who are left speechless and immobile in the last panels, as Black Hat completes his physics-defying stunt. The same title text is used in 82: Frame and 455: Hats . One could say of these comics that they're somewhat surreal, and any further commentary might have detrimentally brought them down to Earth. [Wide panel. Cueball and Megan are standing to one side. Black Hat is standing some distance away. Megan is looking at Cueball while pointing both at Cueball and at Black Hat.] [Normal sized panel. Zoom in as Megan sneaks up close to Black Hat, who now looks a little upwards.] [An inserted panel only half the height of the normal panels, but with its top lifted slightly above their levels and with its frame crossing both the previous and the next normal. It shows a close-up of Megan with hands raised while shouting.] Megan: Boo! [Only Black Hat is shown in this thin panel. He looks shocked, which is indicated by him taking his hands to his face, lines behind his head, and that his hat jumps up above his head, showing that he has a bit of hair under it.] [The next three panels are even thinner than the previous, but they stay the same size. First, the hat falls down over Black Hat's head down to his shoulders, without the hat changes size. The movement is indicated with two lines above the hat. Black Hat crosses his arms across his chest and bends in the knees.] [Then the hat keeps falling over his body, swallowing it so only his legs below his knees are visible.] [Finally the hat hits the ground with a large sound, also indicated with seven "U" shaped lines around the hat. There is no sign of Black Hat.] Fwump [The last two panels are in another row below the previous panel, but there are no panels under the two first panels in the first row. This could indicate that time has passed, or is just a way to create a dramatic effect, as with all the other changes in panel size and position above. This panel's width is somewhere between the first two panels. Cueball and Megan look at the hat, Cueball with a hand in front of his mouth.] [The last panel is as wide as the first, but extends farther to the right than the last panel in he first row, again breaking the symmetry. Megan and Cueball still look on (both with hands down) as the hat begins to crawl away. The movement makes sounds and is indicated with four lines behind the hat now farther away from the two.] Scooch Scooch Scooch

New Pet

New Pet

https://www.xkcd.com/413

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/413:_New_Pet

[Megan is placing EEE PC inside hamster ball. Cueball scratches his head.] Cueball: What are you doing? Megan: Mounting your EEE PC in a hamster ball. Megan: Well, the TCO of a cat is like $1,000/year, so we're saving money. [Cueball is typing.] Megan: Microcontrollers are all wired up! How's the brain coming? Cueball: I've taught it obstacle avoidance and blogging. Cueball: Aww, look, it's making friends with the Roomba. EEE PC: RRRRR Roomba: Beep! [A blueprint in the background shows a webcam, RF links, bearings, omni wheels, magnets, EEE PC, omni wheels, and a battery all hooked up to Megan and Cueball's "pet."] [Hamster ball bounces down a flight of stairs.] Hamster ball: Bonk bonk Off-panel: Man, I hope it's okay that we're laughing at this. [Megan picks up a ball.] Megan: I think my mothering instinct took a wrong turn somewhere. Cueball: You mean an awesome turn. [Cueball is typing.] Megan: Too bad we can't give it a soul. Cueball: Sure we can. Cueball types: import soul Megan: Oh, right. Python.

Megan and Cueball create a new pet by putting an Eee PC into a hamster ball , allowing it to roll around. The Asus Eee PC was one of the first subnotebook computers available on the American market, noted for its small size and coming pre-installed with Linux. With a diagonal size of 11 inches, it would take a big hamster ball to carry it like this. Omniwheels are wheels with rollers mounted on the edge to allow the wheel to slide sideways. The wheels in the drawing look more like Mecanum wheels , which have rollers mounted at an angle to the edge. Both omniwheels and Mecanum wheels are used in omni-directional drive systems, like you would use to drive a hamster ball from the inside. A webcam is connected magnetically to the top of the hamster ball, which connects to an rf link to transmit wirelessly to the computer. TCO is total cost of ownership , which is exactly what it sounds like: the purchase price of something, plus all costs of keeping, operating, and/or maintaining that something. It's used in accounting to determine something's true cost-to-value evaluation. In the case of a cat, TCO would primarily consist of food, litter, veterinary care, etc. Refer to trivia for more details . For the device in the comic, there would be a small ongoing cost (occasional recharges for the batteries) after the initial investment. A Roomba is a self-directed robotic vacuum cleaner made by iRobot, which has no feelings and cannot make friends. [ citation needed ] Python is a programming language popular among geeks running Linux. Among other features, it has a large number of easily installed 3rd-party libraries that make it easy to add features to programs. In this case, Cueball is importing the "soul" library to give the new pet a soul – something that a programming language cannot actually do. [ citation needed ] The title text refers to the One Laptop per Child project spearheaded by Nicholas Negroponte around 2005, with the goal of building an inexpensive, durable sublaptop that could be distributed to children in developing countries to give them an educational edge. [Megan is placing EEE PC inside hamster ball. Cueball scratches his head.] Cueball: What are you doing? Megan: Mounting your EEE PC in a hamster ball. Megan: Well, the TCO of a cat is like $1,000/year, so we're saving money. [Cueball is typing.] Megan: Microcontrollers are all wired up! How's the brain coming? Cueball: I've taught it obstacle avoidance and blogging. Cueball: Aww, look, it's making friends with the Roomba. EEE PC: RRRRR Roomba: Beep! [A blueprint in the background shows a webcam, RF links, bearings, omni wheels, magnets, EEE PC, omni wheels, and a battery all hooked up to Megan and Cueball's "pet."] [Hamster ball bounces down a flight of stairs.] Hamster ball: Bonk bonk Off-panel: Man, I hope it's okay that we're laughing at this. [Megan picks up a ball.] Megan: I think my mothering instinct took a wrong turn somewhere. Cueball: You mean an awesome turn. [Cueball is typing.] Megan: Too bad we can't give it a soul. Cueball: Sure we can. Cueball types: import soul Megan: Oh, right. Python.

Mistranslations

Mistranslations

https://www.xkcd.com/414

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/414:_Mistranslations

[A bed sits on the ground in the middle of the frame. At the left of the frame, Cueball stands atop a skateboard jump ramp twice his height, one foot on the back of a skateboard poised over the coping. At the bottom of the ramp is a small kicker ramp, which will launch him over the bed. Megan, to the right of the frame, stands on the roof of a house grasping a rope, which is affixed directly over the bed. They are both poised to begin their motion.] Our copy of the Kama Sutra has a couple mistranslations. Which we refuse to fix.

The Kama Sutra is a well-known work on human sexual behavior originally written in the language Sanskrit, in India sometime between 400 BCE and 200 CE. It's not exclusively a "sex manual," as it also contains a guide to virtuous and gracious living, but in the Western world, it's primarily thought of as a manual of exotic sex positions. Given that the Kama Sutra was written almost 2,000 years ago, it's doubtful that it has any references whatsoever to a skateboard ramp, but Cueball and Megan enjoy their badly-translated version of the Kama Sutra so much that they refuse to change it. The title text refers to Crisco , a brand of shortening that is used in baking, as well as a sexual lubricant. It has been mentioned before in 330: Indecision and later in 557: Students . [A bed sits on the ground in the middle of the frame. At the left of the frame, Cueball stands atop a skateboard jump ramp twice his height, one foot on the back of a skateboard poised over the coping. At the bottom of the ramp is a small kicker ramp, which will launch him over the bed. Megan, to the right of the frame, stands on the roof of a house grasping a rope, which is affixed directly over the bed. They are both poised to begin their motion.] Our copy of the Kama Sutra has a couple mistranslations. Which we refuse to fix.

Restraining Order

Restraining Order

https://www.xkcd.com/415

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/415:_Restraining_Order

[Cueball and Ponytail stand facing one another. Both hold sheets of paper. Cueball holds a restraining order, while Ponytail holds a map with two concentric circles drawn on it.] Not content with normal restraining orders, my ex got creative. Cueball: Wait... I can't get closer than 500 yards of you... or more than 600 yards away? Ponytail: You'll have to move somewhere within this ring.

A restraining order is a legal injunction requiring a party to do, or refrain from doing, certain acts under penalty of fines or imprisonment, designed to safeguard the complainant's life. In general, the forbidden act is virtually always contacting the complainant in any way and enforcing that they remain a minimum distance from the complainant. However, Ponytail has taken the concept into the realm of the absurd, issuing a restraining order against Cueball that requires him to stay between 500 yards (~457 m) and 600 yards (~549 m) of her at all times. Needless to say, this will cause a major disruption to his life; the title text gives an example in which he is forced to imitate her jogging routine just to avoid breaking the order. What isn't explained is how Cueball can possibly keep himself within the ring if she happens to travel by airplane or ferry. This, and because there are virtually no useful scenarios for it, [ citation needed ] is why maximum distances are never enforced in real life; such an order would grant the complainant carte blanche to unjustly manipulate the defendant. A yard is a unit of length used in the UK and the United States. 1 yard = 0.9144 meters. [Cueball and Ponytail stand facing one another. Both hold sheets of paper. Cueball holds a restraining order, while Ponytail holds a map with two concentric circles drawn on it.] Not content with normal restraining orders, my ex got creative. Cueball: Wait... I can't get closer than 500 yards of you... or more than 600 yards away? Ponytail: You'll have to move somewhere within this ring.

Zealous Autoconfig

Zealous Autoconfig

https://www.xkcd.com/416

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/416:_Zealous_Autoconfig

[Cueball is sitting on a chair with his laptop in his lap. The text written on the laptop is shown above him, and there is a zigzag line from the laptop to the bottom of the last sentence.] Laptop: Starting WiFi autoconfig... searching for WiFi... Found no open networks. Laptop: Found secure net SSID "Lenhart Family" [Same setup, but Cueball has changed position. This time there are two zigzag lines between the two sentences from the laptop.] Laptop: Trying common passwords... Failed. Checking for WEP Vulnerabilities... Cueball: Um. Laptop: None found. [Cueball is still sitting with laptop in his lap, but his hand is on his chin. A phone on table across room starts vibrating. Again only one zigzag line to the bottom sentence.] Laptop: Connecting to Bluetooth phone... Calling local school... Laptop: Found Lenhart children. [Zoom back to Cueball, who is furiously typing on his laptop, legs stretched out.] Laptop: Notifying field agents. Children acquired. Calling Lenhart parents. Negotiating for WiFi password... Cueball [typing] on laptop: Ctrl-C Ctrl-C

Cueball is seen in an attempt to connect his laptop to a Wi-Fi network using, as the comic title suggests, a particularly zealous "Wifi Autoconfig" utility — "zealous" being a synonym for "eager" or "enthusiastic." The utility manages to find a secure access point named "Lenhart Family," presumably Miss Lenhart 's home Wi-Fi access point, and attempts to connect to it. Instead of requesting a password, the program automatically begins a dictionary attack , entering in various commonly-used passwords in the hopes that Miss Lenhart has little regard for proper security measures (a flaw shared by many computer users). When this fails, the program attempts to exploit a WEP vulnerability, which surprises Cueball. This also fails, possibly because Miss Lenhart used WPA instead of WEP. In the third panel, the autoconfig then connects to Cueball's Bluetooth phone and uses it to call a local school in order to locate the Lenhart children, who are attending there, and it reports that it has found them. It acts on this information in the fourth panel, notifying "field agents" to kidnap the Lenhart children for nonmonetary ransom, and then reports that the children are acquired (very fast it seems). With the children as hostages, the program begins negotiations with the parents, offering their safe return in exchange for the Wi-Fi password. This puns on the computing sense of "negotiation": network protocols (such as HTTP) often specify routines whereby a server and a client computer can agree on the best format in which data can be transferred. This is called content negotiation or format negotiation (see for example section 3.4 of the specification for "semantics and content" in HTTP ). Cueball, frightened by these actions, repeatedly presses Ctrl+C in an attempt to cancel the process, with little success. Ctrl+C is used to abort programs started from a terminal (Unix/Linux) or a command line prompt (cmd.exe under Windows). (The alternative use of Ctrl+C in many Windows programs, as a shortcut for copying a text selection, is probably not what Cueball has in mind at this point.) Part of the humor is that he only attempts to cancel quite late in the process, well after (for instance) the school was first called, probably because of a morbid curiosity to see what happens. The title text mentions Ubuntu , a Linux distribution that attempts to be as user-friendly as possible. Randall mentions that he has heard that this "user-friendly" Zealous Autoconfig option has already been installed in the latest Ubuntu release.... Problems that arise when you leave decisions to a computer program are also explored in depth in comic 1619: Watson Medical Algorithm . [Cueball is sitting on a chair with his laptop in his lap. The text written on the laptop is shown above him, and there is a zigzag line from the laptop to the bottom of the last sentence.] Laptop: Starting WiFi autoconfig... searching for WiFi... Found no open networks. Laptop: Found secure net SSID "Lenhart Family" [Same setup, but Cueball has changed position. This time there are two zigzag lines between the two sentences from the laptop.] Laptop: Trying common passwords... Failed. Checking for WEP Vulnerabilities... Cueball: Um. Laptop: None found. [Cueball is still sitting with laptop in his lap, but his hand is on his chin. A phone on table across room starts vibrating. Again only one zigzag line to the bottom sentence.] Laptop: Connecting to Bluetooth phone... Calling local school... Laptop: Found Lenhart children. [Zoom back to Cueball, who is furiously typing on his laptop, legs stretched out.] Laptop: Notifying field agents. Children acquired. Calling Lenhart parents. Negotiating for WiFi password... Cueball [typing] on laptop: Ctrl-C Ctrl-C

The Man Who Fell Sideways

The Man Who Fell Sideways

https://www.xkcd.com/417

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/417:_The_Man_Who_Fell_Sideways

[Cueball standing, with a dotted line perpendicular to him and a 30 degree angle going downwards.] From a young age, gravity pulled him wrong. [Cueball bouncing around his house.] Sometimes east, sometimes west. When he was restrained, it grew erratic. WHAM WHAM [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground.] So he fell. Cueball: AAAA THUMPA THUMPA [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in a desert.] Constantly Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Cueball bouncing/rolling off a rock on the ground in a desert.] Over land... Cueball: AAAAA- THUD -A [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.] Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.] Cueball: A- THUD -AAAAAA [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.] Cueball: AA- THUD -AAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] And sea. Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] Cueball: AAAAAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] Cueball: AAAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] Cueball: AAAAAAAA [Tree in the savanna, with Cueball off the panel.] He found, where he could, food- Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAA [Tree in the savanna, with Cueball still off the panel, but zoomed out so that part of Cueball's bounce/roll path is visible.] Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Cueball upside-down, still bouncing/rolling in the savannah, with a gazelle galloping away from him.] GALLOP GALLOP Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Savanna with a tree in it.] Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAA [Megan standing, with Cueball off screen.] And love. Cueball: AAAA- THUD -AAAA [Megan standing, with Cueball off screen.] Cueball: THUD ACK CRASH [Cueball crashing into Megan] Cueball: Hiwhat'syourname- WHAM [Megan on the ground, with Cueball off screen.] Cueball: AAAAAAA- THUD -AAA [Megan speaking to Hairy.] Megan: I met this guy. He knocked me over and tumbled into the distance. [Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel, with Hairy's hand to his mouth.] Megan: We only shared a few seconds, but in his panicked scream I heard something beautiful. [Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel.] Megan: I think... I think I'm... [Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel.] Hairy: Falling for him? Megan: I wasn't going to say it. [Megan at hospital with doctor, giving birth.] She never saw him again. But nine months later... Doctor: Okay, push! [Megan at hospital with doctor and new baby, who is bouncing/rolling away.] Doctor: It's a gir- Megan: !! Doctor: Whoops! Baby: Ga! Ga! [Baby bouncing/rolling out of hospital.] Baby: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE [Baby bouncing/rolling in front of a sunset.] Baby: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE The End There is a fan made animated version of this comic .

This comic is humorously built-up like a short drama story, about a man (Cueball) with an unusual physics condition. It might have been inspired by the Uncle Scrooge adventure comic " A Matter of Some Gravity " ( Inducks ) by Don Rosa , in which Magica de Spell makes gravity pull sideways at Scrooge McDuck and Donald Duck . The same topic is covered by 1996 graphic novel L'enfant penchée ( The Leaning Child ), but, as it was only published in English in 2014, it’s very unlikely to be a source of inspiration for this comic. "Soon to be a major motion picture" in the title text might refer to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button , a film released later in 2008 (and based on a short story), in which the protagonist Benjamin suffers of the impossible condition of aging backwards. "Over land... and sea" might be from the song "Nature Boy" by eden ahbez . Nat King Cole sung (the most famous version) about "A very strange, enchanted boy. They say he wandered very far, very far over land and sea." The title text mentions Jeph Jacques , who runs the webcomic Questionable Content . Jeph has also described the creation of this comic in his blog while working at ezplay company . When Cueball hits Megan, he knocks her down and "knocks her up", in what is probably intended to be a visual form of antanaclasis . Megan tells Hairy about a person knocking her over and tumbling into the distance. She hints that she is falling for him, which is a joke regarding Cueball's condition. The baby shares his tendency to be pulled sideways by gravity, but this apparently does not start until she is born, because Megan and the doctor do not seem to have been expecting it. If gravity had affected the unborn fetus in the same way, Megan would have been able to feel it, would have noticed that her uterus was hanging differently, and would have had difficulty balancing due to the sideways forces. The last panel is a reference to the opening scene of The Lion King , called 'The Circle Of Life'. The first part of the comic has some resemblance to this much later comic: 1376: Jump . [Cueball standing, with a dotted line perpendicular to him and a 30 degree angle going downwards.] From a young age, gravity pulled him wrong. [Cueball bouncing around his house.] Sometimes east, sometimes west. When he was restrained, it grew erratic. WHAM WHAM [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground.] So he fell. Cueball: AAAA THUMPA THUMPA [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in a desert.] Constantly Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Cueball bouncing/rolling off a rock on the ground in a desert.] Over land... Cueball: AAAAA- THUD -A [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.] Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.] Cueball: A- THUD -AAAAAA [Cueball bouncing/rolling on the ground in the desert.] Cueball: AA- THUD -AAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] And sea. Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] Cueball: AAAAAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] Cueball: AAAAAA [Cueball skating the surface of the sea.] Cueball: AAAAAAAA [Tree in the savanna, with Cueball off the panel.] He found, where he could, food- Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAA [Tree in the savanna, with Cueball still off the panel, but zoomed out so that part of Cueball's bounce/roll path is visible.] Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Cueball upside-down, still bouncing/rolling in the savannah, with a gazelle galloping away from him.] GALLOP GALLOP Cueball: AAAAAAAAA [Savanna with a tree in it.] Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAA [Megan standing, with Cueball off screen.] And love. Cueball: AAAA- THUD -AAAA [Megan standing, with Cueball off screen.] Cueball: THUD ACK CRASH [Cueball crashing into Megan] Cueball: Hiwhat'syourname- WHAM [Megan on the ground, with Cueball off screen.] Cueball: AAAAAAA- THUD -AAA [Megan speaking to Hairy.] Megan: I met this guy. He knocked me over and tumbled into the distance. [Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel, with Hairy's hand to his mouth.] Megan: We only shared a few seconds, but in his panicked scream I heard something beautiful. [Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel.] Megan: I think... I think I'm... [Megan speaking to the same man from the previous panel.] Hairy: Falling for him? Megan: I wasn't going to say it. [Megan at hospital with doctor, giving birth.] She never saw him again. But nine months later... Doctor: Okay, push! [Megan at hospital with doctor and new baby, who is bouncing/rolling away.] Doctor: It's a gir- Megan: !! Doctor: Whoops! Baby: Ga! Ga! [Baby bouncing/rolling out of hospital.] Baby: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE [Baby bouncing/rolling in front of a sunset.] Baby: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE The End There is a fan made animated version of this comic .

Stove Ownership

Stove Ownership

https://www.xkcd.com/418

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/418:_Stove_Ownership

[A hand-drawn graph is shown.] [On the y-axis:] My overall health [On the x-axis:] Time [The graph is generally steady rising through 3/4 of the x-axis, where it begins a steady decline. A stapled line marks the start of this decline. Below where the line crosses the x-axis, this decline is labeled:] The day I realized I could cook bacon whenever I wanted .

This comic is a subtle statement on the epiphany many have when they reach adulthood and are on their own for the first time: No one will tell you what to do! Nobody will, however, stop you from making those poor decisions you were refrained from prior to that independence. Eating bacon whenever one wants is among them. This line graph depicts Randall's health as a function of time after some undefined point. The joke is that his health goes into an immediate deterioration the moment he realized that he could just cook bacon on his stove whenever he wants. When he says "he could cook bacon," he means he has both the will AND means, since the stove is now his own. Before the bacon revelation, his health was actually improving - this may be explained because he was now cooking his own, healthy food rather than getting pizza delivered or having other pre-made foods/junk food. Frosting (or icing) is something you use to decorate cakes. Many children enjoy frosting so much that they eat it off the cake and leave the rest behind. Frosting in a can, as mentioned in a title text, is convenient because it is instant and not necessary to make from scratch. When Randall came to college, he still had a very sweet tooth, so when he discovered frosting in a can, his health curve at the time also went into decline. However, that turned out to be a phase - he got over it - and he hopes it will be the same with cooking bacon. There is now also similarly instant, pre-made bacon that can be eaten right out of the box, eliminating the need to put in any effort to prepare it. The sudden drop in health, obviously, is due to the fact that most bacon is pork belly fat, and while high in protein, its irresistible flavor cannot compare to its high fat and cholesterol content. In addition, porkless bacon made from turkey meat is also available in some places. In the title text of 1674: Adult , it turned out that Cueball was not yet ready to go shopping by himself, even though he was an "adult" and ended up dying of over-consumption of AirHeads , very similar to the frosting in this comic's title text. Eating frosting out of the can was also referenced in the title text of 1793: Soda Sugar Comparisons . [A hand-drawn graph is shown.] [On the y-axis:] My overall health [On the x-axis:] Time [The graph is generally steady rising through 3/4 of the x-axis, where it begins a steady decline. A stapled line marks the start of this decline. Below where the line crosses the x-axis, this decline is labeled:] The day I realized I could cook bacon whenever I wanted .

Forks and Spoons

Forks and Spoons

https://www.xkcd.com/419

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/419:_Forks_and_Spoons

Megan: A spoon crossed with a fork is a spork. Off-panel Megan's voice: Our lab has successfully crossed a spork with a spoon. [Diagram showing the fractions of fork and spoon in each item.] [Chart showing possible combinations of spoons a forks.] Megan, facing audience: With your funding, we could create hybrids in proportions corresponding to any binary fraction . [Fork-Spoon Spectrum.] Audience member: You're toying with powerful forces here. Megan: We know what we're doing. Two weeks later: [Picture of a destroyed lab, with a scientific poster and lab equipment. Two dead bodies, blood everywhere, and a spoon-fork hybrid hopping away can be seen.] Hop hop hop.

The comic shows scientists testing a new technology to blend species. They show that their new technology allows them to cross a spork (an even mix between a spoon and a fork) with a spoon to make a new implement that is three-quarters spoon and one-quarter fork. By blending these new fork-spork hybrids and their results together, the scientists could create any mix between a spoon and a fork. (Obviously, regular genetics cannot apply to non-living items such as metal cutlery). In the second panel, the amounts of spoon and fork are shown with fractions: the number on the left representing the amount of fork, and the right the amount of spoon. The numbers for the cross product below are arrived at by summing each side and dividing by two: (0+1/2)/2 = 1/4 and (1+1/2)/2 = 3/4. The breeding scheme between the second and the third panel shows at the top how to create a spork from a spoon and a fork, then how this spork could both be bred with either a spoon (as in panel two) or a fork (as shown in the lower right part). The binary "fork-spoon spectrum" in between the third and fourth panels shows the complete spectrum of sporks from fork to spoon with some of the intermediate steps labeled, the numbers representing how much fork each contains. Since it is a binary spectrum, only fractions with a denominator that is a power of 2 will be possible, i.e. 2^n with n any integer. So in the middle is a spork with 1/2 fork, in between the spork and the spoon there is only 1/4 fork, and in between that and the spoon only 1/8 fork, and so on. Also 3/4 fork is marked, whereas 3/8, 5/8, and 7/8 fork is only indicated on the ruler by small marks. For instance, they could breed a 3/8 fork-spork by mixing a 1/4 fork-spork with a spork. The comic begins like standard sci-fi fare, where amoral scientists request funding from mysterious benefactors. The dialogue of "You're toying with powerful forces here" and "We know what we're doing" is a classic trope , foreshadowing that things will soon go horribly wrong . It inevitably leads to the humorous incongruity of a sentient spoon-fork-hybrid on a murderous rampage, which is impossible in real life. [ citation needed ] Rachael Ray and Emeril , mentioned in the title text, are celebrity chefs, and Steven Spielberg is a famous movie director. The joke seems to be that if the laboratory hadn't hired the two renowned chefs, Spielberg wouldn't have heard about the project and would not have made a movie about it - in which the two scientists are killed off horribly (it is probably the scientist from the first panel, Megan , and her friend, Cueball , or the actors hired to portray them in the film). The plot in the comic is very similar to the story in Spielberg's Jurassic Park . Megan: A spoon crossed with a fork is a spork. Off-panel Megan's voice: Our lab has successfully crossed a spork with a spoon. [Diagram showing the fractions of fork and spoon in each item.] [Chart showing possible combinations of spoons a forks.] Megan, facing audience: With your funding, we could create hybrids in proportions corresponding to any binary fraction . [Fork-Spoon Spectrum.] Audience member: You're toying with powerful forces here. Megan: We know what we're doing. Two weeks later: [Picture of a destroyed lab, with a scientific poster and lab equipment. Two dead bodies, blood everywhere, and a spoon-fork hybrid hopping away can be seen.] Hop hop hop.

Jealousy

Jealousy

https://www.xkcd.com/420

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/420:_Jealousy

[Dark scene shown, with Cueball and Megan sitting in the moonlight let in by the only window.] Megan and I first met at a party at her sister's. We hit it off, opened up, shared secrets, and talked about everything. Around us, the party waned, but we hid from sleep together, talking through the deepest hours of the night. The dawn found us curled up on a couch, asleep but still together. That experience, connecting with a stranger and falling recklessly in love is one of life's greatest joys. And now that you're married, you'll never experience it again. It's the price you pay for everlasting love. It's a small one, but I hope it stings a little. Anyway, I wish you and Megan the best. ...Hey, man, you asked me to do a toast.

In the first four stanzas of this soliloquy, Cueball reminisces fondly about his meeting of Megan at a party where they quickly had a romantic rapport and spent the night together. The next two stanzas are a lamentation that Megan is now married and can never have that same experience again. The final stanza reveals that this is not merely Cueball waxing poetic about a previous love, but that he is actually making a toast as the best man at Megan's wedding reception - certainly an occasion when it is wildly inappropriate to discuss the previous romantic involvements of the bride. In modern times, it is not unexpected that the bride at a wedding will have had previous relationships with someone other than the groom, but a wedding is no time to mention them. The title text implies that the groom had no prior knowledge of Cueball's and Megan's dalliance, and therefore the toast is even more inappropriate - going beyond discussing the previous romantic history of the bride, to actually revealing previously unknown such history to the groom. Presumably, Cueball's having been selected to be best man indicates that he is a good friend of the groom (as the groom normally selects the best man). The title hints that Cueball is envious of the groom, since his previous encounter with Megan clearly did not result in a lasting relationship, while the groom's clearly did. This suggests that he may be intentionally (perhaps drunkenly) making an inappropriate toast to embarrass the couple as a result of his bitterness. This was only the third time the name Megan was used in xkcd, the first time being in 159: Boombox . [Dark scene shown, with Cueball and Megan sitting in the moonlight let in by the only window.] Megan and I first met at a party at her sister's. We hit it off, opened up, shared secrets, and talked about everything. Around us, the party waned, but we hid from sleep together, talking through the deepest hours of the night. The dawn found us curled up on a couch, asleep but still together. That experience, connecting with a stranger and falling recklessly in love is one of life's greatest joys. And now that you're married, you'll never experience it again. It's the price you pay for everlasting love. It's a small one, but I hope it stings a little. Anyway, I wish you and Megan the best. ...Hey, man, you asked me to do a toast.

Making Hash Browns

Making Hash Browns

https://www.xkcd.com/421

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/421:_Making_Hash_Browns

[Cueball stands holding a flaming tennis racket. He is throwing a potato in the air as if to serve like a tennis ball. Behind him is a red gas can and a sack of potatoes. Across from him is another person holding a fork in one hand and balancing a serving tray with a glass holding an orange liquid in it.]

Cueball is attempting to make hash browns . A hash brown is a way of serving a potato where the potato has been diced or shredded in some way, then pan-fried. Cueball's method for making hash browns, though, is rather unique. He is throwing potatoes into the air and striking them with a flaming tennis racket at his friend, who is holding a tray with a dangerously tilting half-filled glass balanced on top. He (the friend) is also holding a fork in the other hand. The idea is that the tennis racket would simultaneously dice the potato, fry it, and then launch the completed product towards his friend's plate. In reality, this probably wouldn't do much. To properly pan-fry food, it must be cooked in a pan with some oil to lubricate the food, with enough time for the heat to transfer through the oil and spread properly through the food. Hitting a potato with a flaming tennis racket would not cook it, as it would strike it too quickly, and it probably wouldn't dice it either unless the wire of the racket is incredibly sharp. Cueball would probably just end up batting a not even hot, uncooked, unprepared potato at his friend, while simultaneously burning his own hand. In the case that the wires did actually cut through the potato, then the potato would not be moved forward, but actually end up behind the racket. The title text comments on how many ways this experiment could go badly (14), and jokes that there are even more potential problems (17) if the fork Cueball's friend is holding is a cross-breed. (See 419: Forks and Spoons , which was published only four days earlier. By reading this comic, it should be clear what could go wrong if they were included in the equation - 3 more ways would be a low estimate....) It's unclear what Randall may or may not have had on his mind with regards to specific ways the situation in the comic could go wrong. But here are several potential ways the activity could go wrong without including Sporks : [Cueball stands holding a flaming tennis racket. He is throwing a potato in the air as if to serve like a tennis ball. Behind him is a red gas can and a sack of potatoes. Across from him is another person holding a fork in one hand and balancing a serving tray with a glass holding an orange liquid in it.]

A Better Idea

A Better Idea

https://www.xkcd.com/422

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/422:_A_Better_Idea

[Cueball wearing a bow tie stands holding hands with Megan wearing a dress. On the left, there is a sign pointing left, which reads "PROM"; on the right, there is a sign pointing right, which reads "LAN PARTY IN FORMAL ATTIRE".]

In the United States, prom (short for promenade) is a semi-formal (black tie) dance or gathering of high school students. They normally are awkward experiences for nerdy people. A LAN party is a temporary gathering of people with computers or game consoles, between which they establish a local area network (LAN), primarily for the purpose of playing multiplayer video games. They are normally very informal. Cueball and Megan are likely going to prom together, but they stop when they see that there's a LAN party in formal attire, meaning they wouldn't be out of place. The comic title is likely what one or both of them would say in this situation, since the LAN party is probably much more appealing than a formal ball to them. The title text indicates that Randall would have loved for such a thing to be possible, so much that he very nearly would redo high school just to participate. [Cueball wearing a bow tie stands holding hands with Megan wearing a dress. On the left, there is a sign pointing left, which reads "PROM"; on the right, there is a sign pointing right, which reads "LAN PARTY IN FORMAL ATTIRE".]

Finish Line

Finish Line

https://www.xkcd.com/423

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/423:_Finish_Line

[Luigi with green clothes in a green go-cart is clearly in the lead of a game of Mario Kart with Mario in red clothes in a red go-cart. Mario is so far behind that he seems much smaller. Two speech bubbles with arrows pointing at the two show what Megan and Cueball, shown later, say to each other.] Megan (playing Mario): Sometimes I stop right before the finish line. Cueball (playing Luigi): Why? [A small square panel is inserted at the bottom of the first, crossing over the frame to the next panel and below the bottom of this panel. It shows Megan sitting on the floor leaning up against a coach while holding the game control in both hands looking at the large TV in front of her, only partly inside the frame. Her speech bubble is like the previous panel, pointing at her with an arrow, but most of the bubble is inside the first panel and also breaking into the next panel.] Megan: 'Cause I know I've won. [Scene moved to look in from the direction of the TV at the couch. Cueball is sitting on the other end of the couch to the left holding his hands out to either side while looking down at Megan on the floor, who is still holding her remote in both hands playing the video game.] Megan: It proves I'm playing for fun, on my own terms. That I don't need validation from the machine. Megan: That I'm not a rat pulling a lever. [Scene moved to the side, showing both the couch with Cueball in it holding his hands up, Megan in front on the floor working the remote and the entire TV. Speech from the TV is shown in a broken bubble.] Cueball: ...Man. Good Call. Let's stop and explore the course for a- Game: Player Two wins Cueball: Hey! Megan: Ha ha! [Zoom in on the couch still from the side, Cueball leaning forward with the game control in his hand on the arm rest and Megan on the floor sitting more relaxed with the remote in one hand.] Cueball: Dammit, I'm a sucker for your "Be a Rebel" speech. Megan: It's more fun than a blue shell.

Cueball and Megan are playing Mario Kart , with Cueball's Luigi character ahead of Megan's Mario towards the end of the race. Megan begins waxing philosophically on how she sometimes stops right before the Finish line (hence the title), because she knows that she has already won and then does not need the machine to tell her so. She says it proves she doesn't act like a rat going through a laboratory maze in pursuit of cheese. This talk makes Cueball realize that winning a video game isn't really important, and how by speeding through a racing level like the game asks you to do, you sometimes miss the fun of simply exploring the level and enjoying the extraordinary level of detail and work that went into it. He thus exclaims that it was a good call and slows down - expecting Megan to join him exploring. In the end, it was just a ruse by Megan, who speeds past him and wins, much to her glee. "It's more fun than a blue shell," she says, referring to the Mario Kart item that, when fired, will inevitably hit the race leader and cause him to crash. Randall has rather adamantly expressed his opinion about blue shells before in 290: Fucking Blue Shells . Cueball's response suggests that he has been fooled before by Megan's Be a rebel speech - something she can pull off against him again and again. This leads to the subject of the title text. Note: In MKWii, people sometimes troll others by stopping right at the finish line. When the person behind them gets close, they just cross the line and cause 2nd place to lose. The title text refers to the comic strip Peanuts , and the running gag where fussbudget Lucy would hold an American football for lovable loser Charlie Brown , and he'd come running at it full speed, only to have Lucy pull the football away at the last moment and send Charlie Brown crashing to the ground. What made it funny was that each time, Lucy would find some way to convince Charlie Brown that this time, she wouldn't pull the football away, and he'd try again — but lo and behold, of course she did. (See example of this, in the collection of moments shown in the very last Peanuts comic ). The title text asks the important question if Lucy believed the things she said - even if she would eventually pull the ball away. If so, it would be easier to fool Charlie Brown. Maybe Cueball suggests that Megan believes what she says up to the point where she wins.... [Luigi with green clothes in a green go-cart is clearly in the lead of a game of Mario Kart with Mario in red clothes in a red go-cart. Mario is so far behind that he seems much smaller. Two speech bubbles with arrows pointing at the two show what Megan and Cueball, shown later, say to each other.] Megan (playing Mario): Sometimes I stop right before the finish line. Cueball (playing Luigi): Why? [A small square panel is inserted at the bottom of the first, crossing over the frame to the next panel and below the bottom of this panel. It shows Megan sitting on the floor leaning up against a coach while holding the game control in both hands looking at the large TV in front of her, only partly inside the frame. Her speech bubble is like the previous panel, pointing at her with an arrow, but most of the bubble is inside the first panel and also breaking into the next panel.] Megan: 'Cause I know I've won. [Scene moved to look in from the direction of the TV at the couch. Cueball is sitting on the other end of the couch to the left holding his hands out to either side while looking down at Megan on the floor, who is still holding her remote in both hands playing the video game.] Megan: It proves I'm playing for fun, on my own terms. That I don't need validation from the machine. Megan: That I'm not a rat pulling a lever. [Scene moved to the side, showing both the couch with Cueball in it holding his hands up, Megan in front on the floor working the remote and the entire TV. Speech from the TV is shown in a broken bubble.] Cueball: ...Man. Good Call. Let's stop and explore the course for a- Game: Player Two wins Cueball: Hey! Megan: Ha ha! [Zoom in on the couch still from the side, Cueball leaning forward with the game control in his hand on the arm rest and Megan on the floor sitting more relaxed with the remote in one hand.] Cueball: Dammit, I'm a sucker for your "Be a Rebel" speech. Megan: It's more fun than a blue shell.

Security Holes

Security Holes

https://www.xkcd.com/424

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/424:_Security_Holes

[Cueball sitting at computer.] Cueball: I'll just comment out these lines... // MD_update(&m, buf, j); // do_not_crash(); // prevent_911(); In the rush to clean up the debian-openssl fiasco, a number of other major security holes have been uncovered: [A two-column table is shown:] Affected System Security problem Fedora Core Vulnerable to certain decoder rings Xandros (EEE PC) Gives root access if asked in a stern voice Gentoo Vulnerable to flattery OLPC OS Vulnerable to Jeff Goldblum’s PowerBook Slackware Gives root access if user says Elvish word for “friend” Ubuntu Turns out distro is actually just Windows Vista with a few custom themes

The "Debian-OpenSSL fiasco" was a major security problem discovered in the Debian Linux distribution and its version of the cryptographic library called OpenSSL . With just a tiny change in the software, which was intended to have no effect on security, its random number generator was completely crippled, as was the security of all cryptographic keys generated by the system. The problem was created when a Debian developer removed one line of code that was crucial, even though it could seem like it did nothing useful. More detail about the fiasco: Crippling Crypto: The Debian OpenSSL Debacle , Debian's information page about the problem . The title text refers also to this issue: After the security problem was found, all cryptographic keys generated or used on the broken operating system needed to be replaced. Many systems introduced special checks for such weak keys, adding the keys to blacklists , thereby preventing their use and forcing users to create new keys. Randall claims that he was affected by that when uploading this comic to the server. The panels on the left present Cueball as a programmer who, on a whim, removes pieces of code, ( commenting out the code by prepending the line with two slashes), presumably thinking that they are not necessary. The first removed line, MD_update(&m, buf, j); , is the exact piece of code that was removed in the Debian fiasco. The next panels show him commenting out fictitious lines of code apparently preventing bad things from happening. The other part of the comic lists "security problems" that were allegedly discovered in other Linux variants afterwards: Cryptographic software in Fedora Core was allegedly not secure against toy decoder rings . This is probably a reference to the association of the fedora with 1930s and 40s culture (especially gangsters and film noir ), and the contemporaneous introduction and popularity of toy decoder rings. Xandros (used in Asus Eee PC netbooks) gave superuser privileges to anybody "if asked in a stern voice." This is likely a reference to the fact that the preinstalled Xandros OS did not require a password for root privileges by default. Gentoo would succumb to flattery, which may be a reference to Gentoo's notorious difficulty to manage. Any user who is capable of understanding it might have a large ego, and therefore be susceptible to flattery. OLPC OS could have been attacked using Jeff Goldblum 's laptop computer, which refers to a scene in the Independence Day movie , where Jeff Goldblum's character was able to hack into an alien spaceship using his Apple PowerBook computer - which is a topic of great contempt by geeks who point to the absurdity of such a construction. Slackware gave superuser privileges to anybody who "says Elvish word for 'friend'," which refers to a scene in The Lord of the Rings , where the entrance door to Moria could have been opened using a password mellon , the Elvish word for "friend," as indicated on the door itself. And Ubuntu , which is another Linux distribution, was allegedly found to be actually Windows Vista , the latest version of Microsoft Windows at this time in 2008. This may be a reference to Ubuntu being developed with non-advanced users in mind, with many fail-safes and additional features being turned on by default, which had more in common with Windows than any other Linux-based operating system at the time. [Cueball sitting at computer.] Cueball: I'll just comment out these lines... // MD_update(&m, buf, j); // do_not_crash(); // prevent_911(); In the rush to clean up the debian-openssl fiasco, a number of other major security holes have been uncovered: [A two-column table is shown:] Affected System Security problem Fedora Core Vulnerable to certain decoder rings Xandros (EEE PC) Gives root access if asked in a stern voice Gentoo Vulnerable to flattery OLPC OS Vulnerable to Jeff Goldblum’s PowerBook Slackware Gives root access if user says Elvish word for “friend” Ubuntu Turns out distro is actually just Windows Vista with a few custom themes

Fortune Cookies

Fortune Cookies

https://www.xkcd.com/425

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/425:_Fortune_Cookies

[Megan to the left, Cueball to the right, and Blondie in the middle are sitting on chairs around a table with lots of small stuff on it. A few small white items are standing up. All three are reading from the piece of paper they each hold up in their hands (Megan only using one hand). Below them, there is a caption inside the panel.] Megan: "The ones you love will never let you down." Cueball: "Seek nonviolence in everything you do." Blondie: "Your self-confidence is well-placed." Instead of "In bed", I've found that fortune cookies are often more improved by appending " Except in bed".

Fortune cookies are crisp cookies containing a small piece of paper with words of wisdom or a vague prophecy. Even though they were not actually invented in China, they are commonly served as dessert in Chinese restaurants in the United States. There is a common joke involving fortune cookies that involves appending "in bed" — the phrase "in bed" being one of many sexual innuendo jokes along with " your mom ," "that's what she said," and " said the actress to the bishop " — to the end of the fortune, usually creating a sexual innuendo or other bizarre messages. This comic turns that joke around, showing how appending "except in bed" can also create even more amusing messages. The title text instead shows the example of an imaginary fortune that would not change in meaning if "in bed" was appended. The meaning would, however, change considerably if except in bed was added instead. A part of the joke is that you will never find such a fortune in a cookie! [Megan to the left, Cueball to the right, and Blondie in the middle are sitting on chairs around a table with lots of small stuff on it. A few small white items are standing up. All three are reading from the piece of paper they each hold up in their hands (Megan only using one hand). Below them, there is a caption inside the panel.] Megan: "The ones you love will never let you down." Cueball: "Seek nonviolence in everything you do." Blondie: "Your self-confidence is well-placed." Instead of "In bed", I've found that fortune cookies are often more improved by appending " Except in bed".

Geohashing

Geohashing

https://www.xkcd.com/426

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/426:_Geohashing

Date (example): 2005-05-26 That date's (or most recent) DOW opening: 10458.68 [Concatenate, with a hyphen: 2005-05-26-10458.68] md5: db9318c2259923d08b672cb305440f97 [Split it up into two pieces:] 0.db9318c2259923d0, 0.8b672cb305440f97 To decimal: 0.857713..., 0.544544... Your location (example): 37.421542, -122.085589 [Combine integer part of location with fractional part of hash:] Destination Coordinates: 37.857713, -122.544544 Sample Implementation: http://xkcd.com/geohashing/

Geocaching is a sport where you have to find things hidden by other people based on geographical coordinates. Randall has had a similar idea before in 201: Christmas GPS . Geohashing is a sport created by Randall based on reaching a random location determined by an algorithm that uses a hash function that involves the current date, location, and the Dow opening price. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a stock market index dealt in New York City. The algorithm is built in a way that: The algorithm works as follows: MD5 is a cryptographic hashing algorithm, and converts plaintext data into a seemingly random 128-bit (32 character) string. A good hashing algorithm should have three main properties: it is non-reversible, you cannot generate any plaintext data back from the hash, and a given sample of data will always produce the same hash value, but even a tiny change to the original plaintext should produce an entirely different hash. The example co-ordinates are for the Google headquarters in California, as you can see here: 37.421542 -122.085589 . The example date, May 26 2005, may reference the fact that the first edition of the Dow came out on May 26, 1896. (Why 2005? Unclear.) While geohashing was originally intended as a joke [ citation needed ] , there are people who geohash regularly. Please see the link to the Geohashing wiki above. The title-text may imply that people should bring games to their geohashing location on the Saturday following the comic's release. If they do so and take photos, they may post them to https://geohashing.site/geohashing/games_we_play . Date (example): 2005-05-26 That date's (or most recent) DOW opening: 10458.68 [Concatenate, with a hyphen: 2005-05-26-10458.68] md5: db9318c2259923d08b672cb305440f97 [Split it up into two pieces:] 0.db9318c2259923d0, 0.8b672cb305440f97 To decimal: 0.857713..., 0.544544... Your location (example): 37.421542, -122.085589 [Combine integer part of location with fractional part of hash:] Destination Coordinates: 37.857713, -122.544544 Sample Implementation: http://xkcd.com/geohashing/

Bad Timing

Bad Timing

https://www.xkcd.com/427

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/427:_Bad_Timing

[Cueball and Megan, flying in a hot air balloon that takes up most of the panel.] Cueball: I like you. I'm just not feeling the relationship. [The hot air balloon is now further away, and a rough sketch of the ground below is shown.] Cueball: I'm sorry. [Only the basket of the hot air balloon is shown, with the rest being cut off by the edge of the panel.] Cueball: It's just bad timing. Me with my classes, you with your work, the spiders... Megan: The what? [Red Spiders crowd onto the balloon, causing it to begin to fall. Cueball and Megan look panicked.]

Cueball breaks up with Megan in the middle of a hot air balloon ride. Then the red spiders attack . The red spiders are among the earliest xkcd characters , first appearing in 8: Red spiders . As the protip in the title text states, a break-up conversation while you are stranded in an inaccessible location is very poor manners. Also, the suggestion may be interpreted that breaking up in a hot air balloon is a very dangerous way to do it; the reaction may result in one or both parties falling out of the basket, or at least make the remainder of the flight very awkward. This was the first comic to give a protip in the title text, but several have followed, as can be seen in the protip category . The full series of Red Spiders comics: [Cueball and Megan, flying in a hot air balloon that takes up most of the panel.] Cueball: I like you. I'm just not feeling the relationship. [The hot air balloon is now further away, and a rough sketch of the ground below is shown.] Cueball: I'm sorry. [Only the basket of the hot air balloon is shown, with the rest being cut off by the edge of the panel.] Cueball: It's just bad timing. Me with my classes, you with your work, the spiders... Megan: The what? [Red Spiders crowd onto the balloon, causing it to begin to fall. Cueball and Megan look panicked.]

Starwatching

Starwatching

https://www.xkcd.com/428

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/428:_Starwatching

[Cueball and Megan are lying on the ground stargazing.] Cueball: Just look at those stars. Cueball: My father once told me that the great bloggers of the past are up there, watching over us. [Cueball sits up, and then stands up, stretching his arms in the air as if to encompass the whole night sky.] Cueball: High above the blogosphere, a gap opens in the tag clouds. Cory Doctorow's voice booms forth... Megan: You need to get out either more or less . I can't decide.

Megan and Cueball are stargazing . In the first two panels, Cueball references a scene in the movie The Lion King , where the protagonist, Simba , remembers how his father, Mufasa , explained the night sky by saying, "The great kings of the past are up there." The quote in last panel is derived from a scene near the climax of the movie, where the spirit of Mufasa appears to Simba in the clouds and speaks to him. Cory Doctorow is a famous blogger who features in several of Randall 's comics . A tag cloud is a list of keywords on the sidebar of a blog's layout that helps a reader find posts by hyperlinking to posts associated with that keyword or category. Tags are shown in a proportionally larger typeface if that tag describes more posts than other tags. Megan interrupts Cueball by saying that she can't decide if Cueball needs to "get out more or less." If she were to say "get out more," she would be implying that he needs to spend time away from the computer so he stops seeing links between the real world and Cory Doctorow. If she says "get out less," she implies that he might scare normal people if he were to do what he does in front of them, or perhaps become more "normal" if he were to stop going outside and not do what he is doing now. In the title text, Randall mentions that he feels that the word blog , a portmanteau and an Elision of "web log," sounds silly, and has not become any less silly over the years, despite entering common usage. [Cueball and Megan are lying on the ground stargazing.] Cueball: Just look at those stars. Cueball: My father once told me that the great bloggers of the past are up there, watching over us. [Cueball sits up, and then stands up, stretching his arms in the air as if to encompass the whole night sky.] Cueball: High above the blogosphere, a gap opens in the tag clouds. Cory Doctorow's voice booms forth... Megan: You need to get out either more or less . I can't decide.

Fantasy

Fantasy

https://www.xkcd.com/429

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/429:_Fantasy

[Cueball sits hugging his knees. From his head, there go three bubbles to a thought bubble.] Cueball: If only there were some way we could be together. [The comic fades into a thought bubble in shaded gray color. The bubble contains the next four panels.] [The thought ends with three bubbles going down to Cueball, who is now standing and scratching his head. Again, the comic is back to the normal black drawing style.] Cueball: ??

Cueball is fantasizing about being together with Megan , a girl he really wishes to be with, but he has so far not found any way to make this happen. However, in his fantasy, the imaginary versions of himself and Megan quickly realize how impossible their relationship would be. First of all, neither of them can remember why they are together (a typical trait of dreams, that you are suddenly in some situation but cannot remember what went before). Also, Megan seems to find it very difficult to imagine them being together. Although the reasons are left unstated, it is clear that it is actually Cueball who cannot himself imagine a situation that would make Megan want to be with him, and he projects this into the thoughts of his fantasy version of Megan. He himself mentions the word fantasy, which makes her realize that they are objects in a fantasy (or dream) that will soon end, and then so will they. Then she decides to destroy the fantasy world they are in instead of going quietly, as she would have once this fantasy ended. She goes for burning it to the ground, and the fantasy Cueball is with her, since he has also realized that he will lose her when this fantasy ends. Rather than allow Cueball's idle daydream to end romantically, they run rampant and bring his fantasy crashing to a halt. This leaves the real Cueball confused. But in the title text, Cueball realizes that he would only appreciate a girl who refused such an irrational reality, thus the fantasy is consistent with both of their personalities. Another "thought bubble comic" can be seen in 248: Hypotheticals . [Cueball sits hugging his knees. From his head, there go three bubbles to a thought bubble.] Cueball: If only there were some way we could be together. [The comic fades into a thought bubble in shaded gray color. The bubble contains the next four panels.] [The thought ends with three bubbles going down to Cueball, who is now standing and scratching his head. Again, the comic is back to the normal black drawing style.] Cueball: ??

Every Damn Morning

Every Damn Morning

https://www.xkcd.com/430

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/430:_Every_Damn_Morning

[In the background, a vivid dream scene is apparent, including mountains, a city with a mushroom cloud, a zeppelin where one person has knocked another off, another person climbing on or off the blimp on a rope, another blimp anchoring to a city in the background, one Cueball and Megan holding hands, one Cueball looking at the person on the rope, one Cueball and Megan sword fighting over a cup of spilled liquid, another set looking at a laptop, another set hugging, another set sliding down a separate rope from the blimp and a last set falling. In the far right there is a third blimp flying over a mountain range. All in all, this seems very much like an apocalypse and not something one would forget easily. In the inset, Cueball awakens, very surprised.] Cueball: !!! [Dream's edges are fading, mountains, city, and zeppelin less clear. In the inset, Cueball is seen running down stairs.] [Zeppelin, city, and mountains are very hazy and unclear. The people can still be seen. In the inset, Cueball gets the attention of Megan, who is sitting at a breakfast table.] [The dream has completely faded, only the outlines of three people can still be seen. In the inset, Cueball looks confused.]

Cueball has had a wondrous and striking dream, but is unable to recount it to Megan , as he has forgotten it. The title of the strip suggest that this is a regular occurrence: he wakes up with vivid memories of elaborate and fascinating dreamscapes, but is unable to tell anyone about it, because the memories fade so quickly, he's lost almost everything before he gets the chance. The title text is a reference to C.S. Lewis's novel The Voyage of the Dawn Treader , in which Lucy Pevensie reads a story that “refreshes her spirit” – “That is the loveliest story I’ve ever read or ever shall read in my whole life. Oh, I wish I could have gone on reading it for ten years.” – but afterwards can only remember that it had something to do with "a cup and a sword and a tree and a green hill." An effort to remember dreams was made in 269: TCMP . [In the background, a vivid dream scene is apparent, including mountains, a city with a mushroom cloud, a zeppelin where one person has knocked another off, another person climbing on or off the blimp on a rope, another blimp anchoring to a city in the background, one Cueball and Megan holding hands, one Cueball looking at the person on the rope, one Cueball and Megan sword fighting over a cup of spilled liquid, another set looking at a laptop, another set hugging, another set sliding down a separate rope from the blimp and a last set falling. In the far right there is a third blimp flying over a mountain range. All in all, this seems very much like an apocalypse and not something one would forget easily. In the inset, Cueball awakens, very surprised.] Cueball: !!! [Dream's edges are fading, mountains, city, and zeppelin less clear. In the inset, Cueball is seen running down stairs.] [Zeppelin, city, and mountains are very hazy and unclear. The people can still be seen. In the inset, Cueball gets the attention of Megan, who is sitting at a breakfast table.] [The dream has completely faded, only the outlines of three people can still be seen. In the inset, Cueball looks confused.]

Delivery

Delivery

https://www.xkcd.com/431

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/431:_Delivery

[In a delivery room.] Doctor: There's the head... he's looking at me... Wait, he's crawling back into the womb. Megan: What?! Doctor: Yeah, it's the darnedest thing. Megan: Um, what does it mean? Doctor: My guess? Six more weeks of winter.

It is an old superstition that a groundhog (a type of rodent akin to a large squirrel) can predict the seasonal change from winter to spring in early February. A groundhog that sees his shadow and retreats back in his home predicts another six weeks of winter, while a groundhog that does not see its shadow predicts an early spring. This event is celebrated in a small town in western Pennsylvania, where Punxsutawney Phil serves as the forecaster in an annual ceremony on February 2. This, in turn, becomes the basis for the comedy movie Groundhog Day , which is also referenced in 1076: Groundhog Day . The joke here is that, instead of a groundhog predicting when spring will come, the baby is predicting the change in season. Evidently, he predicts that we will have six more weeks of winter. The title text indicates that the doctor was joking about the baby retreating back inside. He then makes a pun that results in an assault by the mother. The word delivery can mean the act of giving birth or the presentation of a joke. He then indicates that the baby is fine. [In a delivery room.] Doctor: There's the head... he's looking at me... Wait, he's crawling back into the womb. Megan: What?! Doctor: Yeah, it's the darnedest thing. Megan: Um, what does it mean? Doctor: My guess? Six more weeks of winter.

Journal 4

Journal 4

https://www.xkcd.com/432

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/432:_Journal_4

[Black Hat sits slumped over on a bench, holding his hat in one hand, displaying his thin hair, while resting his head on his other arm.] Black Hat: S i GH

In Journal 1, Black Hat explains to Cueball that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance. In Journal 2, however, Danish sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process. Initially stunned, in Journal 3 he at last regained his hat, the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand. Now, Black Hat has found himself to be in love with Danish, even though this goes against his whole worldview. As stated in the title text, he somehow believed that he was immune to such feelings. What is he to do? The title text indicates that Black Hat had previously believed that his hat signified, or even caused, immunity from sadness or angst. The meaning of Black Hat's hat is not specified, but it is clearly something important to him. More evidence of the hat's portentous meaning can be seen in 455: Hats . The whole " Journal " story is: [Black Hat sits slumped over on a bench, holding his hat in one hand, displaying his thin hair, while resting his head on his other arm.] Black Hat: S i GH

Journal 5

Journal 5

https://www.xkcd.com/433

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/433:_Journal_5

[Black Hat parks his car.] PARK [Black Hat knocks at door.] KNOCK KNOCK Black Hat: Hi. Danish: Hi. Black Hat: I give up. You win. I have to know who you are. Black Hat: We understand each other. I can't let that slip away— beep [from device in Danish's hand.] BOOM Black Hat: What was that?! Danish: Remote mines under your car. Black Hat: Oh, those? I moved them to your garage before knocking. Danish: Touché. Black Hat: ...This relationship is going to be tricky. Danish: There's still time to leave and find a non-crazy girl. Black Hat: Not even slightly interested.

In Journal , Black Hat explains to Cueball that a hobby of his is to pretend to write in a journal while on the subway, acting embarrassed if anyone sees. He then proceeds to silently scorn the person once they give him any kind of reassurance. In Journal 2 , however, Danish sees through his ruse. She counteracts it by proving that she understands him, and attempts to resign him to the fact that he will never see her again, thus robbing him of the satisfaction of a proper social connection. She leaves, taking his hat in the process. Initially stunned, he at last regained his hat in Journal 3 , the trademark of his personality and attitude, leaving him with the upper hand. (In 412: Startled he's shown more easily startled than usual, possibly due to Danish setting him on edge and cracking his façade.) In Journal 4 , however, he is overcome with emotions, to the extent that he has even taken his black hat off while sitting head in hand on a bench, wondering in the title text why he would feel any emotions when he has a hat. Now, in Journal 5, Black Hat parks his car and soon finds himself on the doorstep of Danish's house. He comes to tell her that he gives up and that she wins, because he just has to know who she is. This is very uncharacteristic of Black Hat. He then tries to tell her that he thinks they understand each other's personalities and that this means something to him. He is obviously smitten with her on some level. But all she does about this initially is use her remote control to set off the mines she installed in the driveway where Black Hat's car is parked. But, even in his state of love, Black Hat had spotted these mines and moved them to her garage. So when Danish sets them off, she destroys her own garage (and possibly her car) instead of Black Hat's car. When he tells her about moving them, she is impressed and acknowledges this by saying Touché . Maybe this is when she also begins to respect him in her own weird manner. Black Hat can foresee that it will be a tricky relationship with their mean personalities crashing together, but when Danish gives him the option to go find a non-crazy girl , he promptly states that this doesn't interest him at all. In the title text, it seems that neither of them is deterred by this obstacle, and their relationship begins when Black Hat tells her that he will pick her up at eight, although she does ask for one more hour, so she can re-mine the driveway before he comes back at nine. This did not seem to harm their future relationship, as in most of the later comics with Danish she is mainly shown together with Black Hat, sometimes even in a clearly romantic setting, like in 515: No One Must Know , from where she got her name. The whole " Journal " story is: [Black Hat parks his car.] PARK [Black Hat knocks at door.] KNOCK KNOCK Black Hat: Hi. Danish: Hi. Black Hat: I give up. You win. I have to know who you are. Black Hat: We understand each other. I can't let that slip away— beep [from device in Danish's hand.] BOOM Black Hat: What was that?! Danish: Remote mines under your car. Black Hat: Oh, those? I moved them to your garage before knocking. Danish: Touché. Black Hat: ...This relationship is going to be tricky. Danish: There's still time to leave and find a non-crazy girl. Black Hat: Not even slightly interested.

xkcd Goes to the Airport

xkcd Goes to the Airport

https://www.xkcd.com/434

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/434:_xkcd_Goes_to_the_Airport

[Standing outside the Airport. There is a sign saying "Airport" and a plane in the background.] Megan: Okay, what airline? Beret Guy: I'm following you. Megan: ...I'm following you . Beret Guy: I assumed we were walking to the bakery. Megan: You always assume that! [Presumably the security checkpoint. The Security guy is digging through Cueball's bags.] Security guy: Lockpicks? These are... illegal, actually. Where did you get them? Cueball: Oh man, it all started with this hacker girl. Security guy: You need to come with- Cueball: Sure, sure. But man, let me tell you about her! [On a plane. Cueball is on a laptop.] Announcement: If your device has a "Transmit" function, please disable it. Cueball: Okay - hang on, I'm halfway through the iwconfig man page. [Security checkpoint. Security guy is examining a vial of dark liquid.] Security guy: Sir, is this container under three ounces? Black Hat: Not sure, how much blood is there in a churchmouse? Security guy: . . .Why don't you just go.

The various characters of xkcd cause problems at the airport due to their various quirks. The title text continues off the final panel, saying that there are less than three ounces of blood in a churchmouse, but it "stains panties," an undesirable scenario. However, this undesirable scenario is paralleled by the implied undesirable scenario of a terrorist attack due to explosive liquids, the possibility of which caused the law. The title text seems to parody the prospect of an explosion with the relatively insignificant staining of panties, a term for women's underwear. This may also be a menstruation joke. [Standing outside the Airport. There is a sign saying "Airport" and a plane in the background.] Megan: Okay, what airline? Beret Guy: I'm following you. Megan: ...I'm following you . Beret Guy: I assumed we were walking to the bakery. Megan: You always assume that! [Presumably the security checkpoint. The Security guy is digging through Cueball's bags.] Security guy: Lockpicks? These are... illegal, actually. Where did you get them? Cueball: Oh man, it all started with this hacker girl. Security guy: You need to come with- Cueball: Sure, sure. But man, let me tell you about her! [On a plane. Cueball is on a laptop.] Announcement: If your device has a "Transmit" function, please disable it. Cueball: Okay - hang on, I'm halfway through the iwconfig man page. [Security checkpoint. Security guy is examining a vial of dark liquid.] Security guy: Sir, is this container under three ounces? Black Hat: Not sure, how much blood is there in a churchmouse? Security guy: . . .Why don't you just go.

Purity

Purity

https://www.xkcd.com/435

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/435:_Purity

[Six characters are standing on a line with small ticks under each person. Above the two persons most central in the comic is an arrow pointing right. There are labels both above and below the arrow. Beneath each tick is a label. All the labels are listed here in order.] Fields arranged by purity More pure Sociologists Psychologists Biologists Chemists Physicists Mathematicians [Above each of the six ticks, there is a person. The last person to the right is the mathematician. She stands at the far right edge of the comic, with much farther distance between her and the second to last person going right. The first four spaces between the first five people are of equal distance. Except for the least pure sociologist, they all say something addressed to the less pure person(s) on their left. The first mute person above the Sociologists tick is Megan. The second person above the Psychologists tick is a bald man with glasses and a goatee beard holding a book under one arm. The third person above the Biologists tick is a Cueball-like guy with a squirming octopus in his hand. The fourth person above the Chemists tick is Ponytail holding up a test tube with bubbles coming out of the top. The fifth person above the Physicists tick is Cueball standing with his hands in his sides. Farthest out, the sixth and final person above the Mathematicians tick is Blondie. She waves to the other five.] Psychologist: Sociology is just applied psychology. Biologist: Psychology is just applied biology. Chemist: Biology is just applied chemistry Physicist: Which is just applied physics. It's nice to be on top. Mathematician: Oh, hey, I didn't see you guys all the way over there.

Mathematics is the abstract study of topics encompassing quantity, structure, space, change, and others. Physics is a natural science that involves the study of matter-energy and its motion through space and time, along with related concepts such as forces. Physics is described using mathematics. Chemistry is the science of matter, especially its chemical reactions, but also its composition, structure, and properties. As chemical reactions are governed by physical laws (electromagnetism being particularly important), one could say that chemists are studying a subset of physics. Biology is the the study of life and living organisms, including their structure, function, growth, origin, evolution, distribution, and taxonomy. As biological life is the result of a large number of complex chemical reactions, one could say that it is studying a subset of chemistry. Psychology is the study of mental functions and behaviors, why thinking beings do what they do. As thought is (currently) a capability exclusive to living things, one could say that it is a subset of biology . Sociology is the study of society, or the study of groups of people and their interactions. Since a group of people is composed of many individuals, one could say that it is an application of psychology. Of course, one could also say that the fields are all independent, as deriving one from another would require not only good, but perfect understanding of the more fundamental field. Mathematics has two classifications: pure mathematics (mathematics for its own sake, without any real-world interpretation) and applied mathematics (mathematics intended to solve real-world problems). It is not uncommon for scientists to formulate a problem that can be reduced to a problem already solved by pure mathematicians. Taking this to its logical extreme, the comic arranges the six scientific fields according to the Hierarchy of the sciences , represented by a person on a chart of purity, saying that a field is 'more pure' than the fields depending on it. This is a topic often used in jokes between scientists of various fields as to who is more important. The physicist, Cueball , feels that he is at the top, that all other fields are based upon his... but is ultimately upstaged by the mathematician, Blondie , whose field is so pure that its relationship to more applied fields can be distant or nonexistent. Unlike the others, however, the mathematician notably does not claim that physics is merely applied mathematics, because that claim would be categorically untrue. While physics makes extensive use of applied mathematical methods, physics (and, by extension, all the other sciences) are based on the analysis of experimental data collected about the universe—data which mathematics does not and cannot on its own provide. The title text indicates that physicists like to repeat the following quote attributed to Richard Feynman: “Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation.” This ties the title of the comic, "Purity," to tie between various fields, to the topic of sex, as measured by the Purity Test . [Six characters are standing on a line with small ticks under each person. Above the two persons most central in the comic is an arrow pointing right. There are labels both above and below the arrow. Beneath each tick is a label. All the labels are listed here in order.] Fields arranged by purity More pure Sociologists Psychologists Biologists Chemists Physicists Mathematicians [Above each of the six ticks, there is a person. The last person to the right is the mathematician. She stands at the far right edge of the comic, with much farther distance between her and the second to last person going right. The first four spaces between the first five people are of equal distance. Except for the least pure sociologist, they all say something addressed to the less pure person(s) on their left. The first mute person above the Sociologists tick is Megan. The second person above the Psychologists tick is a bald man with glasses and a goatee beard holding a book under one arm. The third person above the Biologists tick is a Cueball-like guy with a squirming octopus in his hand. The fourth person above the Chemists tick is Ponytail holding up a test tube with bubbles coming out of the top. The fifth person above the Physicists tick is Cueball standing with his hands in his sides. Farthest out, the sixth and final person above the Mathematicians tick is Blondie. She waves to the other five.] Psychologist: Sociology is just applied psychology. Biologist: Psychology is just applied biology. Chemist: Biology is just applied chemistry Physicist: Which is just applied physics. It's nice to be on top. Mathematician: Oh, hey, I didn't see you guys all the way over there.

How it Happened

How it Happened

https://www.xkcd.com/436

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/436:_How_it_Happened

[Cueball and his friend standing.] Cueball: Then she put her hands over mine, grinds against me, leans down and whispers, "After tonight, we go and live our lives, no regrets. But I want this, I want you, one last time." Friend: (Giving a thumbs up, pointing, surrounded by action lines) That's what SHE said! [Both continue to stand.] Cueball: Yes. Yes, it is. [Both continue to stand.]

The phrase " That's what she said! " is commonly used after someone has described something that sounds sexual but had no intentional sexual meaning. An example might be: "It's huge!" (Describing an overly large object like a large tree) "That's what she said!" (Implying that "she" had said the same thing about genitalia) However, in this comic, the first guy is actually describing what his girlfriend whispered to him on the day she leaves him. She is still looking to have sex with him one last time before they go live their lives. It is a very personal moment that he decided to share with his friend. But his friend then responds with a that's what she said . The first friend derails the other's attempt at a joke by pointing out that that was what she literally said. This is exactly the same as Megan's reaction to a "that's what she said" in 366: Your Mom . The friend is simply frozen in his uncomfortable position, by the awkward moment, while the first guy just stares at him. In the title text, the first guy continues to make the situation more awkward for his friend by pointing out that he was there, so there is no need to tell him what she said. "That's what she said!" jokes had been mocked previously in comic 174: That's What SHE Said . [Cueball and his friend standing.] Cueball: Then she put her hands over mine, grinds against me, leans down and whispers, "After tonight, we go and live our lives, no regrets. But I want this, I want you, one last time." Friend: (Giving a thumbs up, pointing, surrounded by action lines) That's what SHE said! [Both continue to stand.] Cueball: Yes. Yes, it is. [Both continue to stand.]

SUV

SUV

https://www.xkcd.com/437

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/437:_SUV

My Hobby: Renting an SUV and confusing the hell out of hybrid owners [A Prius Driver is pumping gas into his car at a gas station. The prices can be seen in the background, and read:] $4.08 M: $4.38 P: $4.51 D: $4.85 [Cueball drives up alongside in an SUV and leans out the window.] Cueball: Check out those prices! Your Prius ain't looking so smart now , huh? Prius Driver: It's ... wait, what? Cueball: Maybe you'll go green next time, asshole!

This comic is one of a series of My Hobby comics. Here Randall describes a "hobby" of confusing self-righteous hybrid car drivers by creating situational irony. There are many anecdotal instances of drivers of "green" vehicles both criticizing owners of less fuel-efficient vehicles (such as SUVs) and for taunting them about how much more they are paying for fuel. Randall is reversing this by taunting/criticizing the owner of a Prius hybrid vehicle as though their roles were reversed. The owner of the hybrid car is irritated and does not understand what is being said. Alternatively, in the second sentence, Randall could be talking about the fact that the other person has a hybrid vehicle instead of a full electric vehicle, although Randall's SUV wouldn't be any better in that case. Yet another possibility is that "go green" refers to using public transportation or walking (or biking, skateboarding, and so on) in which case there is an argument to be made that the Cueball with the SUV might be better due to taking mass transit more. Or, as the title text alludes to, electric skateboards. The title text, rather than being a joke or additional punchline, seems to be a serious opinion about how much more efficient electric vehicles are compared to gas-powered vehicles; they would be a far superior form of transportation if only they weren't so expensive. But an electric skateboard can only move a fraction of mass comparing to an SUV. My Hobby: Renting an SUV and confusing the hell out of hybrid owners [A Prius Driver is pumping gas into his car at a gas station. The prices can be seen in the background, and read:] $4.08 M: $4.38 P: $4.51 D: $4.85 [Cueball drives up alongside in an SUV and leans out the window.] Cueball: Check out those prices! Your Prius ain't looking so smart now , huh? Prius Driver: It's ... wait, what? Cueball: Maybe you'll go green next time, asshole!

Internet Argument

Internet Argument

https://www.xkcd.com/438

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/438:_Internet_Argument

[Cueball is typing profanities into his computer.] [Friend is typing profanities into his computer.] [Megan floats in behind Cueball.] [Megan lifts Cueball.] [They are flying over mountains.] [Megan and Cueball are floating in front of the friend and his computer.] [She sets Cueball down in front of the friend and his computer.] [Megan lifts Cueball again.] [They are flying.] [Megan sets Cueball down in his chair at his computer.] [Cueball is typing at his computer.] [Friend is typing at his computer.]

This effect is similar to what happens when people drive a car: they're more likely to get exasperated or angry at other drivers than they do when not driving. In the first two panels, Cueball is exchanging some possibly profane insults with the other Cueball . Megan takes hold of Cueball and flies him to the other one, so they see each other face to face. In this situation, each remains silent as neither has anything to say to the other. When Megan returns Cueball to his original computer, they resume their communication, but without the insults. The title text just summarizes the whole idea in a single sentence. [Cueball is typing profanities into his computer.] [Friend is typing profanities into his computer.] [Megan floats in behind Cueball.] [Megan lifts Cueball.] [They are flying over mountains.] [Megan and Cueball are floating in front of the friend and his computer.] [She sets Cueball down in front of the friend and his computer.] [Megan lifts Cueball again.] [They are flying.] [Megan sets Cueball down in his chair at his computer.] [Cueball is typing at his computer.] [Friend is typing at his computer.]

Thinking Ahead

Thinking Ahead

https://www.xkcd.com/439

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/439:_Thinking_Ahead

[My Problem: Thinking Ahead.] Cueball: She's cute. Woman: This food is problematic. Cueball: Oh man, she's quoting Firefly. Cueball: It's the perfect opening. But wait. I'm moving in the fall. If we hit it off, how will I deal with that? Cueball: I don't want to ask her to derail her plans. And with things unresolved with Megan, can I really commit enough to make that kind of decision? Cueball: Oh God. Cueball: Gotta get out. Cueball: The window. [Cueball jumping through a window] CRASH

Cueball spots a woman while shopping. He thinks she looks cute - probably because she looks a lot like his girlfriend Megan . She is picking out produce, and quotes a line of dialogue from Firefly originally said by River Tam ( Summer Glau ): "My food is problematic." Cueball ( Randall ) who is a big fan of Firefly , notices this, and wants to flirt with her. But then Cueball's internal monologue kicks in and he starts panicking, wondering how he'd deal with starting a relationship with this woman when he's moving in the fall, as well as how things are going to work out with Megan, should things work out with this girl. He panics, needs a way out, and jumps out the window. In real life, jumping out the window would be a very bad idea. See this for more details. The title text refers to yet another Firefly line from the episode " The Train Job ," this one said by Hoban "Wash" Washburne ( Alan Tudyk ): "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" [My Problem: Thinking Ahead.] Cueball: She's cute. Woman: This food is problematic. Cueball: Oh man, she's quoting Firefly. Cueball: It's the perfect opening. But wait. I'm moving in the fall. If we hit it off, how will I deal with that? Cueball: I don't want to ask her to derail her plans. And with things unresolved with Megan, can I really commit enough to make that kind of decision? Cueball: Oh God. Cueball: Gotta get out. Cueball: The window. [Cueball jumping through a window] CRASH

Road Rage

Road Rage

https://www.xkcd.com/440

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/440:_Road_Rage

[Black Hat is driving, and Danish, who seems to be his equal, is in the passenger's seat. They are closely followed by some other vehicle.] Black Hat: That guy's tailgating me. Danish: I'll take a look. [A car is shown to be closely behind Black Hat's car.] Danish: His laptop's running, probably in the back seat. And... yup, the WiFi autoconnects. [Close-up of Danish using a laptop.] Danish: Now we just scan for remote exploits... install speech synth... And take a shot in the psychological dark. [Cueball's car.] Laptop: Hello. Cueball: What? Who's there? Laptop: She'd be alive if it weren't for you. Cueball: ...Oh God. This may be a continuation of 433: Journal 5 , with Black Hat taking Danish to the "date" that was mentioned.

Black Hat is driving a car, and Danish is with him in the passenger's seat. Black Hat gets annoyed because the car behind him is " tailgating " (in this context, the term means that the other car is following too close to the back bumper of Black Hat's car). Danish decides to fight back, so she turns on her laptop and finds that the car behind them also has a laptop running. Since the cars are so close, the other laptop is well within WiFi range, so she manages to establish a WiFi connection with the laptop in the other car. Then, Danish finds a security hole (in the comic, a "remote exploit"). She uses it to break into the laptop and install a speech synthesizer. This means that the laptop in the car behind just starts saying words at Danish's will. The driver of the other car is puzzled when he starts hearing a voice. He's completely clueless about where the voice comes from. Also, he's driving alone, so he's probably frightened (or nervous at least) to find that someone is speaking inside his car. The fact that the voice says "she'd be alive if it weren't for you" surely won't help him relax. The "shot in the dark" is the gamble that this statement is especially meaningful and poignant to the driver. As the driver is prone to tailgating, it seems likely that he could have caused a car accident—possibly a fatal one—in the past. In the title text, Danish is continuing her revenge, asking Black Hat to slam on the brakes. Hitting the brakes is a common (though highly unsafe) way to get revenge on tailgaters. At minimum, it forces them to abruptly decelerate and hopefully frighten them, but the danger is that they don't have room to stop in time and cause a collision. The joke is that, having already achieved a complicated and psychologically painful form of revenge, Danish wants to follow it up with a much more conventional form, at the worst possible time. Since the blame for such types of accident is always given to the driver of the car behind, and since we know Black Hat is a sadistic bastard, Black Hat will no doubt enjoy adding both the blame and the traffic accident on top of what Danish has already accomplished. This may seem ironic, as Black Hat and Danish would be risking having their own car struck, but they would no doubt rather make an example than avoid the accident. [Black Hat is driving, and Danish, who seems to be his equal, is in the passenger's seat. They are closely followed by some other vehicle.] Black Hat: That guy's tailgating me. Danish: I'll take a look. [A car is shown to be closely behind Black Hat's car.] Danish: His laptop's running, probably in the back seat. And... yup, the WiFi autoconnects. [Close-up of Danish using a laptop.] Danish: Now we just scan for remote exploits... install speech synth... And take a shot in the psychological dark. [Cueball's car.] Laptop: Hello. Cueball: What? Who's there? Laptop: She'd be alive if it weren't for you. Cueball: ...Oh God. This may be a continuation of 433: Journal 5 , with Black Hat taking Danish to the "date" that was mentioned.

Babies

Babies

https://www.xkcd.com/441

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/441:_Babies

It doesn't seem right that we're old enough to have kids. [Megan holds a baby upside-down by one leg.] Megan: Sweet! We made a baby! Cueball: Are we sure we did it right? Cueball: We should disassemble it, check all the parts, and put it back together.

A common theme of xkcd is that one never feels that one has "transitioned to adulthood," in the sense of actually attaining the seriousness and sense of responsibility that children imagine all adults to possess. Here, the author illustrates this by imagining Cueball and Megan taking on the ultimate "adult responsibility" — having a child, treating it as they would any other engineering project. Disassembling a project to check the parts is an activity that is appropriate for a self-built computer or robot, but most people would think that disassembling a child would be impractical. Also, unless they've taken Dr. Frankenstein's course on reassembling and reanimating human beings, this would result in a grisly end for the baby [ citation needed ] . Megan also shows her lack of child experience by holding the baby upside-down by the foot, which isn't a good idea. Her behavior could also indicate that Megan is treating the child as an object rather than a human being. The title text implies that Randall will have kids someday. It will be surprising if they read this comic, not just because it will give them an unflattering look into their father's attitudes on having children, but because he plans to lock them in the cellar where there will be no internet access. This is possibly a reference to Kaspar Hauser , who, as a boy, claimed to have grown up in a dark cell in Germany in the 19th century, or to the incestuous children of Josef Fritzl . This is also the topic of 674: Natural Parenting and 1384: Krypton . Much later, a comic with the singular version of this title was released: 1650: Baby . Here, Cueball refrains from saying something as stupid as he does here about another couple's baby. The couple looks similar to the one in this comic, though that may just be due to the basic-looking art style of xkcd. It doesn't seem right that we're old enough to have kids. [Megan holds a baby upside-down by one leg.] Megan: Sweet! We made a baby! Cueball: Are we sure we did it right? Cueball: We should disassemble it, check all the parts, and put it back together.

xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel

xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel

https://www.xkcd.com/442

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/442:_xkcd_Loves_the_Discovery_Channel

[The comic is in parody of the Discovery Channel commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line "Boom De Yada."] [The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, each depicting a character or situation often from a previous xkcd strip.] [In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial.] Panel 1: [Megan spinning around.] I love momentum. Panel 2: [Megan laying on floor tinkering with an EEE PC hamster ball robot.] I love to engineer. Panel 3: [Beret Guy standing in bakery holding a loaf of bread in each hand, a sign with "PIE!" in background.] I love this bakery! Panel 4: [Cory Doctorow in goggles and a red cape flying superman-style.] I love the blogosphere! Panel 5: [Cueball running in a large hamster ball.] I love the whole world Panel 6: [Depiction of internet sludge (4chan b-Random)] And all its messed-up folks. Panel 7: [Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 8: [Mass of playpen balls with speech "I put on my robe and wizard hat" originating from it.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 9: [Black Hat taking a present from a kid with a party hat.] I love your suffering. Panel 10: [Diagram showing RSA fingerprint authentication between two people.] I love cryptography. Panel 11: [Cueball and Megan in bed covered by a red sheet.] I love entangled sheets. Panel 12: [Cueball hanging from a kite string holding a camera.] And kite photography. Panel 13: [Map of the internet.] I love the whole world Panel 14: [Cube with a red spider on top.] And all its mysteries. Panel 15: [Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 16: [Classroom with two students and Miss Lenhart.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 17: [Cueball saying "Barack me Obamadeus!" to another man speaking energetically at a podium.] I love elections. Panel 18: [Cueball holding a schematic diagram of a transistor in front of his crotch.] I love transistors. Panel 19: [Cueball and Megan in bed, Cueball saying "There must be taft slash fiction."] I love weird pillow talk. Panel 20: [Cueball speaking to Megan.] I love your sister. Panel 21: [Roller coaster with Cueball in the front car holding a chess board and thinking about a move.] I love the whole world. Panel 22: [Beret Guy standing in the midst of leafless trees.] The future's pretty cool! Panel 23: [Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 24: [Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada

This comic is a parody of the Discovery Channel commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line 'Boom De Yada' . The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, most depicting a character or situation from a previous xkcd strip. In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial. The campaign from the Discovery Channel was not called "Boom De Yada," but " I Love the World ." The title "xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel" is in reference to this. Most of the panels are references to previous xkcd strips, but a few are not. Panel 1 I love momentum. A reference to comic 162: Angular Momentum , where Megan spins in a circle to "rob the planet of angular momentum." Panel 2 I love to engineer. A reference to comic 413: New Pet , where Megan and Cueball turn an EEE PC into a household pet. Panel 3 I love this bakery! A reference to comic 434: xkcd Goes to the Airport , where Beret Guy shows his liking for bakeries in first panel. His love of bakeries is a recurring gag in the comic. Panel 4 I love the blogosphere! A reference to comic 239: Blagofaire , where someone from the far future believes that many people blogged from high-altitude balloons whilst wearing red capes and goggles. The flying character may be Cory Doctorow , who is mentioned in the comic as the only blogger to actually do this, and who also appeared in comic 345: 1337: Part 5 in this guise. Panel 5 I love the whole world. (Cueball running in a large hamster ball.) Likely a reference to comic 152: Hamster Ball , though there are multiple comics featuring human-sized hamster balls . Panel 6 And all its messed-up folks. A reference to the /b/ ("Random") forum on 4chan , which is in fact home to plenty of "messed-up folks." This on-line behavior is something Randall comments on in several comics both before and after this. For instance in 202: YouTube . Panel 7 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.) A reference to comic 150: Grownups , where Megan decides that she has the ability to, and wants to, turn her house into a giant ball pit. Panel 8 Boom de yada, Boom de yada ( I put on my robe and wizard hat ) A reference to this roleplay chat transcript (NSFW), which became an Internet meme. A user named bloodninja would roleplay as a wizard during cybersex (saying "I put on my robe and wizard hat" to signal this) and invariably infuriate his unwitting partners with demeaning actions. Other incidents involved him roleplaying as a rhinoceros. In the above mentioned comic 150: Grownups , the two characters also disappear, but in that case a big pink heart comes out of the playpen balls. Panel 9 I love your suffering. The recurring character Black Hat is being his usual self and causing suffering for his own amusement, as in comic 72: Classhole . In this panel, he is seen giving a child a present, probably containing a bobcat as seen in comic 325: A-Minus-Minus Panel 10 I love cryptography. Cryptography is a subject that comes up often in the comic, notably, in comics 153: Cryptography and 177: Alice and Bob before this one (for a full list see Category:Cryptography ). The panel shows a flowchart of the kind commonly used to show how a particular cryptosystem works and/or how it can be broken. Panel 11 I love entangled sheets. Sexual reference. Sex and red sheets are also brought up in comic 230: Hamiltonian . Panel 12 And kite photography. A reference to Randall's own hobby of kite photography , as well as comic 235: Kite . Panel 13 I love the whole world (Map of the internet.) A reference to comic 256: Online Communities , featuring online communities of the time visualized as a world map, with geographic areas representing their approximate membership size. There is, more directly, a pun on "internet," namely "outernet." Panel 14 And all its mysteries. A reference to a series of comics on "red spiders": 8: Red Spiders , 43: Red Spiders 2 , 47: Counter-Red Spiders , 126: Red Spiders Cometh , and 427: Bad Timing . Panel 15 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.) A reference to comic 303: Compiling , where two coders battle with fake swords at work, with the excuse that their code is compiling. Panel 16 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Classroom with two students and a teacher.) Nothing too special, but it does embrace the "everybody joins in" theme behind the commercials. The teacher is Miss Lenhart , who was first properly introduced in comic 263: Certainty , but may have made an appearance in comic 59: Graduation . Panel 17 I love elections ( Barack me Obamadeus! ) A pun on the song Rock Me Amadeus and US president Barack Obama . At this point, Randall had not done any comics directly on elections, but he made this after the one in 2008: 500: Election and has shown his love for this subject also around the 2012 election. Panel 18 I love transistors. This panel has Cueball's crotch replaced with the (similar-looking) icon used for a transistor in a circuit diagram . Randall later showed how much he loves anything that can go in to such a diagram in 730: Circuit Diagram . Panel 19 I love weird pillow talk. ( There must be Taft slash fiction. ) " Pillow talk " means intimate conversations between lovers, " slash fiction " is fanfiction with characters of the same sex, and "Taft" is William Howard Taft , a US President mostly remembered for his severe obesity. It appears that they are invoking rule 34 of the Internet as a reference to 305: Rule 34 . Weird pillow talk is also the subject of comic 69: Pillow Talk , while the Taft reference comes from comic 214: The Problem with Wikipedia . Panel 20 I love your sister. A reference to xkcd's recurring joke of dating the female character's sister, which spans several comics including 49: Want , 279: Pickup Lines , 317: That Lovin' Feelin' , and 408: Overqualified . Panel 21 I love the whole world (Roller coaster with Cueball holding a chess board) A reference to comic 249: Chess Photo , which inspired an internet meme. Panel 22 The future's pretty cool! (Beret Guy in a forest.) The picture of the forest is similar to that in 269: TCMP , though it may also be a reference to comic 167: Nihilism , where Cueball and Beret Guy make observations about the future while climbing a tree. Later, in comic 1322: Winter , the two are seen walking through a forest very similar to the one shown here. Panel 23 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.) A reference to comic 108: M.C. Hammer Slide , where Hairy falls in love with "a girl whose only mode of transportation is the M.C. Hammer Slide." Panel 24 Boom de yada, Boom de yada (Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.) A reference to comic 409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic) , where Megan and Cueball go on an electric skateboard ride, but he already introduced these back in 139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards . The title text continues the song, self-referentially. Self-reference is a reoccurring theme in Douglas Hofstadter's books, notably Gödel, Escher, Bach , which Randall refers to directly in 24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey . Later, Hofstadter has been referenced in other comics, such as in the title text of 555: Two Mirrors and 608: Form , plus, of course, in 917: Hofstadter . Self-reference as a form of humor was also explored before , but most famously in the later 688: Self-Description . [The comic is in parody of the Discovery Channel commercial showing various clips of people singing a song with the chorus line "Boom De Yada."] [The comic is divided into a grid of 4 panels by 6 panels, each depicting a character or situation often from a previous xkcd strip.] [In each panel is written a part of a song similar to the song from the Discovery Channel commercial.] Panel 1: [Megan spinning around.] I love momentum. Panel 2: [Megan laying on floor tinkering with an EEE PC hamster ball robot.] I love to engineer. Panel 3: [Beret Guy standing in bakery holding a loaf of bread in each hand, a sign with "PIE!" in background.] I love this bakery! Panel 4: [Cory Doctorow in goggles and a red cape flying superman-style.] I love the blogosphere! Panel 5: [Cueball running in a large hamster ball.] I love the whole world Panel 6: [Depiction of internet sludge (4chan b-Random)] And all its messed-up folks. Panel 7: [Cueball and Megan immersed in playpen balls.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 8: [Mass of playpen balls with speech "I put on my robe and wizard hat" originating from it.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 9: [Black Hat taking a present from a kid with a party hat.] I love your suffering. Panel 10: [Diagram showing RSA fingerprint authentication between two people.] I love cryptography. Panel 11: [Cueball and Megan in bed covered by a red sheet.] I love entangled sheets. Panel 12: [Cueball hanging from a kite string holding a camera.] And kite photography. Panel 13: [Map of the internet.] I love the whole world Panel 14: [Cube with a red spider on top.] And all its mysteries. Panel 15: [Two people sword-fighting on rolling office chairs.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 16: [Classroom with two students and Miss Lenhart.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 17: [Cueball saying "Barack me Obamadeus!" to another man speaking energetically at a podium.] I love elections. Panel 18: [Cueball holding a schematic diagram of a transistor in front of his crotch.] I love transistors. Panel 19: [Cueball and Megan in bed, Cueball saying "There must be taft slash fiction."] I love weird pillow talk. Panel 20: [Cueball speaking to Megan.] I love your sister. Panel 21: [Roller coaster with Cueball in the front car holding a chess board and thinking about a move.] I love the whole world. Panel 22: [Beret Guy standing in the midst of leafless trees.] The future's pretty cool! Panel 23: [Megan doing the MC Hammer slide towards Cueball.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada Panel 24: [Cueball and Megan on an electric skateboard.] Boom De Yada Boom De Yada

Know Your Vines

Know Your Vines

https://www.xkcd.com/443

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/443:_Know_Your_Vines

[Picture of a green, five-leafed plant:] Virginia creeper: Vines useful as impromptu rope [Picture of a green, 3-leafed plant:] Poison ivy: Grows in same habitat as Virginia creeper [A woman with long hair standing:] Girlfriend: Into light bondage [A dark image of a tree, the top of which extends above the panel, with light green vines near the base of the tree trunk:] Area around campsite: Too dark to see [Caption below the panel:] Relationship after camping trip: Strained

Randall points out that the Virginia creeper is a plant with 5 green leaves that can be used as a rope. He then points out that poison ivy is another vine-like plant with 3 green leaves that also grows near camping areas - but causes skin rashes. His girlfriend is into light bondage (being tied up or tying up another for erotic purposes), yet the area around their tent was too dark to differentiate between the two vines when they went looking for some impromptu rope. The implication: Either Randall, his girlfriend, or both spent some time that night wrapped in poison ivy. The resulting painful rashes were likely blamed on the one who harvested the wrong plant, and the relationship suffered. The title text refers to the fact that many modern tents are self-supporting and no longer require rope to put up. Had there been tent rope on hand, there would be no need to look for vines. [Picture of a green, five-leafed plant:] Virginia creeper: Vines useful as impromptu rope [Picture of a green, 3-leafed plant:] Poison ivy: Grows in same habitat as Virginia creeper [A woman with long hair standing:] Girlfriend: Into light bondage [A dark image of a tree, the top of which extends above the panel, with light green vines near the base of the tree trunk:] Area around campsite: Too dark to see [Caption below the panel:] Relationship after camping trip: Strained

Macgyver Gets Lazy

Macgyver Gets Lazy

https://www.xkcd.com/444

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/444:_Macgyver_Gets_Lazy

[Outside of a building with a door marked No Entry and a guard standing outside, Cueball and MacGyver are hiding.] Cueball: Any ideas? MacGyver: I can use the trigger mechanism of this gun to ignite a small explosive charge, propelling a metal slug into the guard's head.

MacGyver was an '80s and early '90s TV character, famed for improvising complex devices in a matter of minutes in order to escape dangerous situations. In this comic, MacGyver suggests an unusually direct plan—shooting the guard in the head. However, he still manages to describe his plan in a rather 'complex' manner. It is worth noting that in the show, MacGyver was adamantly against the use of guns and never used one (at least, not for its intended purpose) in the entire run of the old series. A MacGyver reboot was made in 2016 and was not well received (38% on Metacritic, 4.6/10 in iMDb). Despite this negative reception, the series began its fifth season in December 2020. The Wikipedia page referenced by the title text redirects to the main MacGyver entry since September 2012. The Wikipedia page can still be found in history , and the content has been moved to MacGyver wikia and expanded. As of now, the page redirects to MacGyver (1985 TV series) . [Outside of a building with a door marked No Entry and a guard standing outside, Cueball and MacGyver are hiding.] Cueball: Any ideas? MacGyver: I can use the trigger mechanism of this gun to ignite a small explosive charge, propelling a metal slug into the guard's head.

I Am Not Good with Boomerangs

I Am Not Good with Boomerangs

https://www.xkcd.com/445

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/445:_I_Am_Not_Good_with_Boomerangs

[Cueball throws a boomerang, but it hits him in the head when it returns.] [Cueball throws the boomerang again, but this time several boomerangs chase after him.] [Cueball throws the boomerang once more, and this time a shark inexplicably appears.] [Cueball throws the boomerang a final time, and Megan appears, hovering.] Megan: I'm leaving you.

The strip shows Cueball throwing a boomerang four times, each time finding a difficulty in catching it. The first time, it merely hits him in the head. The second time, six boomerangs come after him. The third time, a shark somehow returns to him. The fourth and final time, his girlfriend Megan floats back to him—then she states: "I'm leaving you." The title text refers to a bonus strip—if one reads the rightmost panels straight down, you get a strip that suggests that Megan threw multiple things at him out of anger before breaking up with him. This seems to mirror the plot of the 2006 comedy film My Super Ex-Girlfriend , in which the eponymous character throws multiple things at the protagonist (including a shark) prior to breaking up with him. Boomerangs return in a kind of sequel 475: Further Boomerang Difficulties , which might also have yet another sequel in 939: Arrow . Finally, boomerangs also became a main theme in the interactive comic 1350: Lorenz . The same format of multiple bad endings to the same starting set-up is used in 1515: Basketball Earth . [Cueball throws a boomerang, but it hits him in the head when it returns.] [Cueball throws the boomerang again, but this time several boomerangs chase after him.] [Cueball throws the boomerang once more, and this time a shark inexplicably appears.] [Cueball throws the boomerang a final time, and Megan appears, hovering.] Megan: I'm leaving you.

In Popular Culture

In Popular Culture

https://www.xkcd.com/446

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/446:_In_Popular_Culture

[A fictional screen capture of the Wikipedia article for "wood" is shown. There is a picture of wooden boards labeled "wooden boards."] Wood is a hard, fibrous tissue found in many plants . It has been used for centuries for both fuel and as a construction material for... [cut in page.] In popular culture: In episode 6 of Firefly , " Our Mrs. Reynolds ," Jayne is given a wooden rain stick by a villager. In the Buffyverse , Buffy often slays Vampires using stakes made of wood. The wand used by Harry Potter is made of wood from a holly tree. The fence around the back yard of the house in The Simpsons is wooden. In the 2004 TV series Battlestar Galactica [rest of page is cut.]

Wikipedia is a popular online encyclopedia with articles that are created and edited by the general public [ citation needed ] . Wikipedia entries have many sections, with the first few explaining the general concept and details behind the subject. When this comic was written, many Wikipedia articles had a section at the end entitled "in popular culture," listing TV shows, movies, songs, and so on that made reference to the subject at hand. In many cases, this list was extensive, possibly because the people editing the articles were such fans of the subject or the pop culture in which it is referenced. They couldn't help but go into great detail, listing many esoteric and seemingly irrelevant elements of pop culture that were peripherally related to the subject of the article. As an example, see the old article Apollo in popular culture , which as of August 2007 redirects to Apollo . This comic caused a lot of vandalism adding an "In popular culture" section to the wood page. The joke in this case is that even such a mundane article such as one on wood could have an "in popular culture" section, and, obviously, wooden items are common enough that there are any number of instances of popular culture that could be considered to "reference it," even if that's something as basic as a wooden item being used as a prop in a TV show. Such information would be of little or no use to anybody, and only somebody obsessed with wood, a particular element of pop culture in which wood makes an appearance, or the concept of placing pop culture references in encyclopedia articles would bother to create or maintain such a section. Also, wood being such a popular material, the list of references could be virtually endless. This is a reference to the fact that the "in popular culture" sections of many Wikipedia articles contained dozens of items, even for articles on fairly arcane subjects. Note that the end of this particular "in popular culture" section is not visible, so we don't know how long it is. The title text states that in the future, there will even have to be a wiki page with the subject "In popular culture." This article will also need an "in popular culture" section, and it will be obvious to make a reference directly to this title text, as xkcd is part of popular culture and because this title text predicted the creation of and a need for such a page. However, this would then create a circular reference. This could be considered a form of infinite loop, which is one way to cause a computer to crash (lock up). The joke is that the blogosphere could follow this endless train of circular links and itself crash, causing an "implosion." This comic was actually mentioned in Wikipedia:"In popular culture" content (however, the blogosphere did not implode) [ citation needed ] . However, on April 23, 2014, the reference was edited out. It has since been added under the external links section of Wikipedia:xkcd in popular culture . The reference was added back in May 2015. [A fictional screen capture of the Wikipedia article for "wood" is shown. There is a picture of wooden boards labeled "wooden boards."] Wood is a hard, fibrous tissue found in many plants . It has been used for centuries for both fuel and as a construction material for... [cut in page.] In popular culture: In episode 6 of Firefly , " Our Mrs. Reynolds ," Jayne is given a wooden rain stick by a villager. In the Buffyverse , Buffy often slays Vampires using stakes made of wood. The wand used by Harry Potter is made of wood from a holly tree. The fence around the back yard of the house in The Simpsons is wooden. In the 2004 TV series Battlestar Galactica [rest of page is cut.]

Too Old For This Shit

Too Old For This Shit

https://www.xkcd.com/447

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/447:_Too_Old_For_This_Shit

[Two Cueballs are standing in front of a whiteboard. They are facing away from each other, not yet fully conversing with each other.] Cueball 1: I wish I could do math like when I was young. Cueball 2: Huh? [The two now face each other. They talk to each other.] Cueball 1: It doesn't come easy like it once did. Cueball 2: Uh huh. [Still talking.] Cueball 1: Math is a game for the young. I need to sit back and let the future happen. [Still talking.] Cueball 2: You're thirteen. Cueball 1: Yes, and it's time I accept that.

This comic makes fun of the fact that most mathematical geniuses have done their exceptional work (for which they eventually become famous) in their early years by exaggerating it, particularly given that "too old for this shit" is a phrase more appropriately used by people later in age. At the age of thirteen, even precocious mathematicians would not be pushing the frontier of mathematical knowledge, let alone to the point where they would be "too old for it." As such, this is more a joke about a young boy attempting to dismiss the world around him. It also plays on the fact that in xkcd comics, it is often difficult to tell age because of lack of detail, which is necessary to set up the final punchline. A striking example is Carl Friedrich Gauss , the famous mathematician, who wrote his exceptional masterpiece Disquisitiones Arithmeticae at the early age of 21. This idea was for instance used in the fictional biography of Gauss, Measuring the World , where he admits to having trouble understanding his own work when he got older because of his age. The "age theory'" applies to physics as well. Albert Einstein was also very young (26) when he published his four groundbreaking papers in the same year (his Annus Mirabilis in 1905) including the one that eventually gave him the Nobel Prize . Later in life, for instance, he never accepted the theory of quantum physics - which is now a very well established theory. The title of the comic, "Too Old For This Shit," is also a reference to the Lethal Weapon series, in which one of the main characters (Roger Murtaugh, played by Danny Glover) is repeatedly quoted as saying things along the line of "I'm too old for this shit." The title text asserts that thirteen is way too old as it claims that mathematicians should do their great work at the age of eleven! If not - they will never do anything great. [Two Cueballs are standing in front of a whiteboard. They are facing away from each other, not yet fully conversing with each other.] Cueball 1: I wish I could do math like when I was young. Cueball 2: Huh? [The two now face each other. They talk to each other.] Cueball 1: It doesn't come easy like it once did. Cueball 2: Uh huh. [Still talking.] Cueball 1: Math is a game for the young. I need to sit back and let the future happen. [Still talking.] Cueball 2: You're thirteen. Cueball 1: Yes, and it's time I accept that.

Good Morning

Good Morning

https://www.xkcd.com/448

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/448:_Good_Morning

[A drowsy Hairy walks over to Cueball on a computer.] Hairy: *Yawn* Good morning from Taipei. Cueball: You're drifting west. You were in Honolulu just yesterday. Our sleep schedules are so messed up that's it's easiest to just refer to where our internal clocks seem to be.

Both characters have irregular sleeping schedules (possibly because they are programmers). As such, their circadian rhythms have become out of sync with one another, and probably out of sync with everyone else in their own timezone . They therefore experience something similar to the " jet lag " experience by travelers going from one timezone to another. The title text clarifies that they are using "going to sleep at midnight and waking up at 8 AM" as their standard of measurement. If the drowsy man was "in Honolulu" yesterday and has woken up "in Taipei," it means he has gone to sleep 6 hours later than yesterday, and is now also waking up 6 hours later than yesterday (if you don't take the International Date Line into consideration). This comic may (like in 320 ) be a commentary of the 28 hour day where a person shift their sleep patterns to 6 x 28 hours a week instead of the usual 7 x 24 hours. [A drowsy Hairy walks over to Cueball on a computer.] Hairy: *Yawn* Good morning from Taipei. Cueball: You're drifting west. You were in Honolulu just yesterday. Our sleep schedules are so messed up that's it's easiest to just refer to where our internal clocks seem to be.

Things Fall Apart

Things Fall Apart

https://www.xkcd.com/449

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/449:_Things_Fall_Apart

[Megan and Cueball are holding hands. The speech is in bubbles with arrows pointing towards the two. Not as usual with text just written above a line from the speaker.] Megan: I wonder about us. Cueball: I love you. [Megan lets go of Cueball's hand. But he keeps his hand in the same position as before. Cueball's speech bubble covers the bottom of Megan's, indicating that he speaks partly over her sentence.] Megan: We don't have fun together. Cueball: I love you. [As Megan keeps her hands down, Cueball lifts his arm even more towards her. His speech bubble is covering the top part of his head, as well as the bottom of Megan's bubble.] Megan: It's like we're clinging to the "relationship" framework like it's all we got. Cueball: I love you. [Megan leans back from Cueball as he leans towards her, one arm outstretched toward her. Cueball's speech bubble covers the lower right section of Megan's bubble, breaking her sentence off in the middle of her last word, clearly showing that he speaks in over her speech.] Megan: Who are you trying to reassur— Cueball: I love you I love you I love you I love you

Megan and Cueball are about to break up. Megan is trying to explain things, but Cueball is constantly saying "I love you," asserting that the fact that he loves her should be enough to keep her from breaking up with him. But while loving the other person is a necessary condition for sustainability, it is not a sufficient reason all on its own. The title text says that 'I'm nothing without you' is a fucked-up sentiment. This could read to imply that that's what Cueball really means, and he isn't saying it that way because 'I love you' is a more acceptable way of expressing it. Saying it over and over again, like he is doing, has almost the same effect, though. Conventionally, it could be said that the mindset of someone believing that they are nothing without their partner—in other words, defining their identity in terms of the other person—is a dangerous and unhealthy sentiment. A person should have enough self-identity and sense of self-worth to know that they have value even outside the context of a relationship. The title of the comic, "Things Fall Apart," could be a reference to the poem The Second Coming by W.B. Yeats, which contains the line "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold," implying that things between Megan and Cueball are falling apart, and the fact that Cueball is still in love with Megan (arguably, the "center" of the relationship) isn't enough to sustain them. [Megan and Cueball are holding hands. The speech is in bubbles with arrows pointing towards the two. Not as usual with text just written above a line from the speaker.] Megan: I wonder about us. Cueball: I love you. [Megan lets go of Cueball's hand. But he keeps his hand in the same position as before. Cueball's speech bubble covers the bottom of Megan's, indicating that he speaks partly over her sentence.] Megan: We don't have fun together. Cueball: I love you. [As Megan keeps her hands down, Cueball lifts his arm even more towards her. His speech bubble is covering the top part of his head, as well as the bottom of Megan's bubble.] Megan: It's like we're clinging to the "relationship" framework like it's all we got. Cueball: I love you. [Megan leans back from Cueball as he leans towards her, one arm outstretched toward her. Cueball's speech bubble covers the lower right section of Megan's bubble, breaking her sentence off in the middle of her last word, clearly showing that he speaks in over her speech.] Megan: Who are you trying to reassur— Cueball: I love you I love you I love you I love you

The Sea

The Sea

https://www.xkcd.com/450

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/450:_The_Sea

[Cueball stands on a beach at night, staring out across the moonlit ocean. The three lines of text stand above the moon, above Cueball (white on black), and on the beach (black on white).] Cueball: The sea always makes me realize Cueball: how small I really am. Cueball: I should get one of those pumps.

Cueball becomes introspective when contemplating the sea. The straightforward reading of "how small I really am" means he feels humbled by the sea and recognizes his insignificance on this planet. This is a common sentiment expressed in poetry, literature, and blogs. The final line I should get one of those pumps is most likely to, at first, be understood as getting a pump to drain the ocean. The reflection on the joke would run along the line that Cueball is so unsatisfied with the way the ocean makes him feel, the size of the sea intimidating him, that he intends to drain the sea to make him feel better about himself. (This is of course impossible as the size of the sea is many billions if not trillions of times bigger than the biggest storage tanks on Earth today.) However, in English, the sentences I'm small and I'm big can also be a euphemism for my penis is small and my penis is big . Even if Cueball is not literally saying that he has a small penis, men very commonly associate their own self-image with the size of their organ. Therefore, enlarging it would improve their self-image and make them feel less small. The final line in the comic: I should get one of those pumps , could thus be understood to reference a penis pump , a device that is alleged to permanently increase the size of the male member. The title text is referencing that Cueball would also like another pump - and this one should be the one for draining the sea. But by specifying in the title text that the first pump is not for the sea, Randall is ensuring that it is possible to understand the full joke. [Cueball stands on a beach at night, staring out across the moonlit ocean. The three lines of text stand above the moon, above Cueball (white on black), and on the beach (black on white).] Cueball: The sea always makes me realize Cueball: how small I really am. Cueball: I should get one of those pumps.

Impostor

Impostor

https://www.xkcd.com/451

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/451:_Impostor

[Caption above the panels:] My Hobby: Sitting down with grad students and timing how long it takes them to figure out that I'm not actually an expert in their field. [For all four panels below, there are two frames crossing the border of each panel. The ones at the top left have a caption, and the one below right has the result of the timing.] [Ponytail and Cueball are sitting across from each other in office chairs.] Engineering: Ponytail: Our big problem is heat dissipation Cueball: Have you tried logarithms? 48 seconds [Cueball is sitting in a chair at the center of a table looking left at another Cueball-like guy. To the right is a long black-haired girl.] Linguistics: Cueball: Ah, so does this Finno-ugric family include, say, Klingon? 63 Seconds [Cueball is standing with his hands up talking to another Cueball-like guy and Megan who has lifted her arm to palm her face.] Sociology: Cueball: Yeah, my latest work is on ranking people from best to worst. 4 Minutes [Cueball is sitting in an armchair with another Cueball-like guy sitting attentively in front of him on the floor.] Literary Criticism: Cueball: You see, the deconstruction is inextricable from not only the text, but also the self. Eight papers and two books and they haven't caught on.

While the comic is ostensibly about grad students, it is really Randall 's way of poking fun at the relative rigor of different fields, reminiscent of 435: Purity . In the comic, Cueball attempts to pose as an expert in a given field (a recurring pastime of his) and sees how long it takes before the real experts detect his nonsense. The first panel shows Cueball discussing an engineering problem with Ponytail . Ponytail is talking about an immediate practical problem involving heat dissipation. Cueball suggests 'using logarithms ' to solve it; logarithms are a mathematical tool used for expressing an exponential relationship as a linear one. While logarithms have many uses in engineering, they are an abstract mathematical concept, and not a method of dissipating heat, so in the context of the conversation, it makes no sense and outs Cueball as having grabbed a random word he knows engineers use and thrown it in to sound smart. With the engineer's conversation focusing on an immediate practical application, it only takes 48 seconds before he exposes himself. The second panel shows a conversation with linguistic grad students who are apparently discussing the Finno-Ugric language family (a family of related languages that includes Hungarian, Finnish, and Estonian). Cueball asks if Klingon is included in this family. The linguists instantly recognize the meaninglessness of the statement — either because Klingon is a constructed language, designed to sound "alien" to avoid sounding like any human language (thus it cannot be part of any real linguistic family), or because "Klingon" is a recognizable pop-culture reference. Either way he has exposed himself after only 63 seconds of conversation. That all being said, as the inventors of the Klingon language have taken the word order from the Finno-Ugric languages after a research that the order of "predicate, subject, and object" is least common in human languages, so there is at least some roots of Klingon language to analyze. In the third panel, the humour comes from the fact that the idea of sociology existing to rank human beings on some arbitrary intrinsic value is not only ridiculous in a scientific context, but also politically offensive. Cueball unknowingly recreates the logic behind some of the worst crimes in human history, a problem sociologists are trained to be very aware of. However, it may be something that a less educated non-sociologist would assume could pass within the field. When he describes his unscientific and offensive approach, we see one of the sociology grad students facepalming in exasperation. Because a non-expert may be able to sound somewhat educated in sociology before making such a slip-up, it is four minutes into the conversation before he is detected. In the final panel, he attempts to pass as an expert in literary criticism . This field notoriously uses a great deal of impenetrable jargon, so when Cueball makes up seemingly meaningless sentences, no one notices. His quip at "deconstructing the self" may be a meta joke about the field itself failing under deconstruction... (or this sentence may be a meta-meta- example of someone applying literary criticism standards to the analysis of this specific comic). We find that rather than being caught out within minutes as in the other fields, he has now published 8 papers and 2 books. The humor comes from the fact that he has accidentally made himself into a recognized authority in the field, despite not having any idea what he was talking about. In this panel, Cueball is sitting in an armchair in the position of an expert lecturing to a student, who sits at his feet apparently absorbing his inane statement. This implies that the field itself has published a great deal of meaningless things that only superficially look meaningful through the impenetrability of the jargon. The title text challenges the audience to take a look at the Wikipedia article for literary deconstruction if they don't believe this criticism applies - the Wikipedia article in question is almost constantly flagged for "clean-up" on the grounds that it's a jumbled mess. An archive of the article as it was when this comic was published is available here . [Caption above the panels:] My Hobby: Sitting down with grad students and timing how long it takes them to figure out that I'm not actually an expert in their field. [For all four panels below, there are two frames crossing the border of each panel. The ones at the top left have a caption, and the one below right has the result of the timing.] [Ponytail and Cueball are sitting across from each other in office chairs.] Engineering: Ponytail: Our big problem is heat dissipation Cueball: Have you tried logarithms? 48 seconds [Cueball is sitting in a chair at the center of a table looking left at another Cueball-like guy. To the right is a long black-haired girl.] Linguistics: Cueball: Ah, so does this Finno-ugric family include, say, Klingon? 63 Seconds [Cueball is standing with his hands up talking to another Cueball-like guy and Megan who has lifted her arm to palm her face.] Sociology: Cueball: Yeah, my latest work is on ranking people from best to worst. 4 Minutes [Cueball is sitting in an armchair with another Cueball-like guy sitting attentively in front of him on the floor.] Literary Criticism: Cueball: You see, the deconstruction is inextricable from not only the text, but also the self. Eight papers and two books and they haven't caught on.

Mission

Mission

https://www.xkcd.com/452

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/452:_Mission

[Beret Guy and Cueball are rappelling down separate ropes into the interior workings of a large machine.] Cueball: Okay, we're in the belly of the machine. You got the charges? Beret Guy: The what? [The two are standing next to some large pieces of machinery.] Cueball [gesturing]: The explosive charges! Beret Guy [pulling out a bag]: I just brought this bag for pastries. Cueball: The hell? We're on a mission here! Beret Guy [looking around]: This isn't a bakery? Cueball [head in hand]: Oh, Christ, not this shit again. Beret Guy [crouching by some lug nuts lying on a piece of machinery]: What about these scones? Cueball: Those are lug nuts. Beret Guy [stuffing them in his mouth]: ...Maybe SOME of them aren't. crunch Ow! crunch

Cueball and Beret Guy are on a mission, intending to destroy whatever machine they are in, except that Beret Guy tends to be a bit surreal and brought a bag for holding pastries instead of explosive charges. This is not the first time he's made such a bakery mistake; see 434: xkcd Goes to the Airport . He then attempts to eat what Cueball identifies as lug nuts , believing them to be scones. In reality, lug nuts do not look very similar to scones. [ citation needed ] He bites into them and it hurts him, but as he says, maybe some of them are not lug nuts, and he wishes to test them all. The title text further emphasizes Beret Guy's obsession with bakery goods, by stating that if a random object is selected, there will be a 1/6 chance that it is a scone, which explains his behavior with the lug nuts. This is, of course, a ridiculous assertion, as if it were true, more than 16% of all things in the universe would have to be scones. Beret Guy and scones are also referenced in the title text of both 677: Asshole and 1030: Keyed . [Beret Guy and Cueball are rappelling down separate ropes into the interior workings of a large machine.] Cueball: Okay, we're in the belly of the machine. You got the charges? Beret Guy: The what? [The two are standing next to some large pieces of machinery.] Cueball [gesturing]: The explosive charges! Beret Guy [pulling out a bag]: I just brought this bag for pastries. Cueball: The hell? We're on a mission here! Beret Guy [looking around]: This isn't a bakery? Cueball [head in hand]: Oh, Christ, not this shit again. Beret Guy [crouching by some lug nuts lying on a piece of machinery]: What about these scones? Cueball: Those are lug nuts. Beret Guy [stuffing them in his mouth]: ...Maybe SOME of them aren't. crunch Ow! crunch

Upcoming Hurricanes

Upcoming Hurricanes

https://www.xkcd.com/453

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/453:_Upcoming_Hurricanes

[An unlabelled map shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil. Dotted lines indicating hurricane paths cover the map, all red except Hurricane Blue, which is blue. Each line is labelled - here follows the labels as they appear from the top and down:] Hurricane Where-the-Hell-Is-Bermuda Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy Hurricane Freud Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again Hurricane Red Hurricane Blue Hurricane cos(x)

This comic gives ludicrous and ironic upcoming hurricane paths on an unlabelled map of the Americas that shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil . Blue and red dotted lines indicate the future hurricane paths. Enters from the east side of the map, wanders around the Atlantic Ocean in a scribble that seems to take the shape of an Ampersand . Then it goes north for a while, and then peters out without entering the Bermuda Triangle . The Bermuda Triangle is a location in the Atlantic Ocean loosely framed by the three corners Bermuda , Miami , and Puerto Rico . The myth is that (too) many ships and planes get lost once they enter inside the area of this triangle and disappear without a trace. In this case, the hurricane gets lost before entering and can't even find the triangle. It may also simply be a reference to the statistic that Bermuda is affected by many Atlantic hurricanes , and that this hurricane got lost on its way to its target. Comes from somewhere to the north-west, goes through Illinois , and then back to the north-west. Illinois is located far from the ocean, and thus suffers few hurricanes - this particular one is extremely unlikely, and according to the name, exists purely so that Illinois will have a hurricane to deal with. Interestingly enough (though it did not affect the Chicago area or correspond with the path displayed in the comic), roughly one year later, a Super derecho , a storm resembling a hurricane or tropical storm in movement and form, struck central and South Illinois, in addition to much of Missouri and Kansas . Refers to Sigmund Freud , who believed that accidental sexual expression was a reflection of the unconscious mind's sexual desires. The hurricane's path forms a pair of testicles beside Florida. Florida, due to its shape and location, can be said to resemble a penis, and the hurricane's shape and position exemplify Freud's ideas. Comes from the east, starts to curve to the north, and then turns sharply to head straight for Florida and zigzag through it four times before dying out. Sticking out from the rest of the US, Florida is prone to hurricanes from the East, South, and West. And with the state not being very high or wide, it is common for a hurricane to run over Florida, lose some strength, then rebuild strength over the hot waters in the Gulf of Mexico, only to do a U-turn and strike again. This is not exactly what happens with this particular hurricane, where it turns out into the Atlantic Ocean again each time, suggesting a malicious intent. Blue is the only hurricane path drawn in blue. The two hurricanes are playing a game zipping in straight lines and right angles around Haiti , Jamaica , and Cuba . When Red successfully cuts off Blue , the latter instantly dies, and then Red dies shortly thereafter. The game they play is the game of Light Cycles from the video game based on the movie Tron . Hurricane Blue lost because it crashed into the wall of light left by Hurricane Red's light cycle . (Note that real hurricanes are not dotted lines; the two hurricanes would have merged long before Hurricane Blue "lost.") Forms a curve in the shape of a sinusoid above the bottom edge of the map. Its path resembles a sine wave. This kind of trigonometric functions can, however, both be expressed as sin(x) or cos(x), the latter being a cosine wave . They look exactly the same when there is no clearly defined coordinate system as in this case. The title text refers to the 1938 New England hurricane (also known as the Long Island Express) that caused $4.7 billion in damage. Had it been further west, it could have caused more damage, as the right side of a hurricane is stronger and more destructive than the left side, as the winds on the right side push water inland. Randall asks for more damage assessments for such a hurricane that would be able to flood Manhattan in New York . Only four years after this cartoon was published, making it almost prophetic, Hurricane Sandy did strike the New York–New Jersey area as a post-tropical cyclone storm. Hurricane Sandy caused an estimated $74 billion in damage. The 1938 hurricane is also referenced in 980: Money , where it is calculated that it would have caused $78 billion had it happened in 2011. However, if that hurricane had taken the same turn as Sandy did, the cost today could have been a staggering $237 billion. [An unlabelled map shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil. Dotted lines indicating hurricane paths cover the map, all red except Hurricane Blue, which is blue. Each line is labelled - here follows the labels as they appear from the top and down:] Hurricane Where-the-Hell-Is-Bermuda Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy Hurricane Freud Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again Hurricane Red Hurricane Blue Hurricane cos(x)

Rewiring

Rewiring

https://www.xkcd.com/454

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/454:_Rewiring

[Cueball is feeding cable into a device on a desk labeled "fax."] Fax: zzzzzz [Outdoors, showing a plant and a lamp (indicates panels 1 and 3 are separate locations).] [Megan, laptop behind her, is pulling a cable out of a fax machine.] Fax: zzzzz

At the time this comic was written, most residential buildings in North America were wired for analog devices using the old landline telephone services , although thanks to the growth of internet telephone and wireless telephone technologies, including cordless and mobile phones, this in-house wiring was increasingly redundant. See also Use of mobile phones . At the time, people who took their internet access seriously would have preferred that at least some of the phone wiring and phone jacks in their residences were Ethernet ( Cat-5 or Cat-6 ) wiring and ( RJ45 ) jacks for providing wired internet access throughout their home, or in this case, to their neighbour's home, so that they wouldn't have to resort to Wi-Fi , which was then slower and less reliable than a wired connection. The title text suggests that it shows a fanciful way of converting analog phone lines to digital ethernet lines by simply faxing an ethernet cable, since a fax machine is a tool for converting analog content into digital. Since the faxing of the ethernet cable is apparently successful, the comic is not really about the conversion, but is instead a subtle computer network joke about tunneling , whereby you can embed one kind of network access protocol within a very different protocol. Herein lies the humour: Cueball and Megan are apparently under the impression that they can achieve a faster connection by tunnelling a high-speed protocol (ethernet) through a slower (landline telephone service) one. Generally speaking, this is not true. The only exception is when embedding a compressed data stream within a non-compressed standard. The performance boosts, however, are typically modest for lossless compression , and not the orders of magnitude difference our novices apparently hope for. The title text, which is a reference to foonetic user relsqui, was changed to correct their name to "Finn" after they came out as agender. (This comic was presumably inspired by this conversation they had over IRC.) [Cueball is feeding cable into a device on a desk labeled "fax."] Fax: zzzzzz [Outdoors, showing a plant and a lamp (indicates panels 1 and 3 are separate locations).] [Megan, laptop behind her, is pulling a cable out of a fax machine.] Fax: zzzzz

Hats

Hats

https://www.xkcd.com/455

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/455:_Hats

[Black Hat is walking.] [Black Hat stops in front of another man with two Black Hats, the uppermost hat tilted about 45 degrees back.] [After two panels, the original Black Hat steps backward, shuddering slightly.]

Black Hat encounters a person who is wearing not one, but two black hats. Black Hat is not a person to be trifled with, but from his reaction, he apparently believes that Two Black Hats represents a considerable danger to him. Black Hat knows how dangerous he is to those with one fewer black hat than him, so he continues the logic and realises that one who has one more black hat must be proportionally dangerous to him. If a black hat is assumed to be akin to a badge of rank, then Two Black Hats certainly is superior to him in the capacity and willingness to do evil. Alternatively, and even more worrying, Two Black Hats could be someone who has the desire and the ability to acquire black hats (possibly killing the previous owners in the process if having two black hats really means that the individual is more malevolent than Black Hat), which he then wears like a badge of honor. With all this in mind, Black Hat edges away, keeping Two Black Hats in sight at all times. This movement and the accompanying line could also be interpreted as Black Hat being physically pushed away, like two negative or two positive poles of a magnet, although this does not explain why it only starts after a beat panel. This comic is also a metatextual joke about xkcd itself. Because of the comic's simplistic art style and characterization, Black Hat has only two defining physical traits: his hat and his hair, which we see when he takes off his hat, and one defining personality trait, his malevolence. Randall then implies that the two traits must be correlated, so that a black hat signifies malevolence, and accordingly two hats must signify even more malevolence -- an idea that wouldn't make any sense in real life, where a person with two hats would just be making an odd fashion choice. [ citation needed ] The title text is simply "..." This may represent the slow-motion pause during which Black Hat's nefarious life flashes before his eyes, as he considers his impending doom. It may also emphasize how the usually witty Black Hat is, for once, speechless. Or the title text is similar to that in 412: Startled , where Black Hat also becomes the little one (and with much focus on the black hat, as in this comic). As mentioned there, such a short title text could be due to the fact that it's a somewhat surreal comic, and any further commentary might have detrimentally brought it down to Earth. See also 82: Frame , with the same title text, but no relation to black hats. Two Black Hats makes a reappearance in 826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC) , down by the restrooms. [Black Hat is walking.] [Black Hat stops in front of another man with two Black Hats, the uppermost hat tilted about 45 degrees back.] [After two panels, the original Black Hat steps backward, shuddering slightly.]

Cautionary

Cautionary

https://www.xkcd.com/456

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/456:_Cautionary

Linux: A True Story: [Cueball talks on a cell phone.] Week One: Cousin: Hey, it's your cousin. I got a new computer but don't want Windows. Can you help me install "Linux"? Cueball: Sure. [Cueball's cousin sits in an office chair with her laptop on her lap. She is on the phone.] Week Two: Cousin: It says my XORG is broken. What's an "XORG"? Where can I look that up? Cueball: Hmm, lemme show you man pages. [Cueball's cousin crouches on the floor with the laptop on her lap. She is still on the phone.] Week Six: Cousin: Due to auto-config issues, I'm leaving Ubuntu for Debian. Cueball: Uh. Cousin: Or Gentoo. Cueball: Uh oh. [Cueball's cousin lies on her stomach with the laptop on the floor. On the floor are several pieces of paper and a book. Cueball stands to her left.] Week Twelve: Cueball: You haven't answered your phone in days. Cousin: Can't sleep. Must compile kernel. Cueball: I'm too late. [Box with text:] Parents: talk to your kids about Linux... Before somebody else does.

Cueball 's cousin decides to install Linux on her new PC, and calls Cueball, whom she views as her personal Linux expert. The overarching joke revolves around the fact that Linux, especially home PC-based GNU/Linux, was (at the time of this comic's publication in 2008) much more often used as a "hobby" OS, as compared against a "productivity" OS such as Windows or macOS . Large numbers of people use Windows or Mac by default, because it came with their computer hardware when they bought it, and it already had the software suite they wanted to use installed along with it. Linux, on the other hand, rarely comes pre-installed on PC hardware and generally must be deliberately chosen and acquired. While it can be set up to achieve efficient and productive workflow in virtually any area on PCs, because it often must be consciously selected, installed, and configured by users, it tends to either attract or, in a few cases, create individuals who take disproportionate pleasure in, and derive self-identification from, hacking the operating system itself. Thus, many people who are Linux enthusiasts began by not really knowing anything about it other than that it's free of cost , but the process of actually building Linux on their machines gradually led them to take an increasing interest in it, which the comic humorously likens to substance addiction. Xorg (officially X.Org ) is an implementation of the X Window System, a program responsible for the graphical display used on Linux. If it has configuration problems, which was quite common with some video card drivers back in 2008 (especially those for ATI Radeon cards ), it is often difficult and/or painful to fix (see 963: X11 ). Man pages are manual pages for Unix-based operating systems and software, usually accessible online but also bundled with the software itself. Considered helpful and clear by the sorts of advanced computer users who typically run Linux, the text-only documentation can seem inaccessible for less-technical users. Here, the joke starts to build in that Cueball's cousin, a computer novice who just wanted something to work out of the box, is now having to learn how to understand Linux documentation in order to fix her ongoing Xorg problem (likely an inability to start a graphical environment, something a novice user would depend on). In the third panel, we see that the cousin has had new problems. Though she likely has been able to fix Xorg, she is now having problems with Ubuntu's auto-configuration tools. She suggests that she is considering switching to a more advanced Linux distro in order to sidestep the failing autoconfig issues. A Linux "distro" (distribution) is a suite of tools and applications that provides a specific user experience on top of the core Linux operating system. Each distro has a different look and feel and different feature sets and design philosophies. Ubuntu is a very popular "beginner" version of Linux, designed to "just work" and be familiar and usable to people fresh out of Windows. Debian is a popular but somewhat more "advanced," traditionally " Unix-like ", distro, with a huge and diverse base of supported software that generally requires more Linux know-how to configure and use. In fact, Ubuntu is based on Debian, and under the hood they have similar features, so that it would not be considered much of a leap for a competent Ubuntu user to switch. Gentoo , on the other hand, is a very advanced distro allowing for extreme customization and optimization, but requiring extensive install and setup time. It is generally considered to be complex and beginner-unfriendly (to the point that its difficulty has become somewhat memetic in the Linux world), a trade-off for providing a powerful and versatile set of tools for advanced system hacking. It appears that during the past four weeks, Cueball's cousin has started to consider that solving her problem would require complex tweaking. In the fourth panel, it appears that the cousin has indeed switched to Gentoo, because a hallmark of that distribution is that the kernel (the basic core of the operating system) must be compiled from source code upon installation. Source code is a computer program expressed in human-readable text; however, source code cannot be run directly by a computer, and instead needs to be compiled into low level machine instructions the computer can understand. This means that with Gentoo, instead of downloading an already functional Linux system to install and run, users download the source code for the system, customize it to their own needs, then compile the code into a executable version of the OS, all before they can begin to use the system. Reasons that the cousin may want to do this include needing the kernel to be compiled in a non-standard way that is not supported by more mainstream distros, or incorporating third-party code or even her own modifications into the kernel. Compiling a kernel with the aforementioned modifications is a tricky affair, since any mistake or oversight can render the kernel, and thus operating system, non-functional, requiring the custom kernel to be anew. This panel implies that this has indeed happened, with the cousin compiling the kernel over and over again for days without sleep. To many such advanced users, their installation of Linux is like a hobby car: a project to be constantly tweaked and adjusted to fit one's exact needs, that spends as much time sitting around with its hood open as it is actually used for its ostensible purpose. By week 12, it is likely that Cueball's cousin has totally forgotten about her original plans for the computer and has become obsessed with Linux in a way that Randall compares with drug addiction for comic effect. Similarly, in the fifth panel, Randall riffs on the old anti-drug message "Parents, talk to your kids about drugs before someone else does," with the meaning being if a responsible adult does not educate their kids about the dangers of drugs (or Linux), then someone else (likely a peer) might convince them that drugs (or Linux) is a good idea. There is an additional call to the theory of gateway drugs , where mild drugs like alcohol or cannabis will lead to harder drugs like cocaine and heroin. In the comic, Cueball's cousin starts out with Ubuntu, a "gateway" version of Linux, which leads to Gentoo, a harder, more niche version, with the end result being her vanishing for weeks inside her house, compiling her kernel, like a junkie hopelessly hooked on drugs. The title text continues the joke about Linux's poor support for many Wi-Fi cards common in 2008, a device that is not only well supported on Windows, but was typically seen as making networking easy for less technical users. While the comic sarcastically pokes fun at the difficulties in using Linux (circa 2008), it also indirectly shows some of its advantages. The first one is that it is a freely available alternative to Windows; the second is that it provides users the tools to make fixing problems possible, whereas with Windows, the only problems that are fixed are the ones Microsoft chooses to fix; and the third is that it can increase one's knowledge of one's own computer, as the cousin, who barely seems to know how computers work past very basic end-user functionality, has become extremely advanced after several weeks. The comic is also somewhat anachronistic, as over time, hardware support in Linux has become much more robust; it is currently unlikely that Cueball's cousin would experience broken graphics or wind up in kernel compile hell to enable basic functions such as Wi-Fi. Linux: A True Story: [Cueball talks on a cell phone.] Week One: Cousin: Hey, it's your cousin. I got a new computer but don't want Windows. Can you help me install "Linux"? Cueball: Sure. [Cueball's cousin sits in an office chair with her laptop on her lap. She is on the phone.] Week Two: Cousin: It says my XORG is broken. What's an "XORG"? Where can I look that up? Cueball: Hmm, lemme show you man pages. [Cueball's cousin crouches on the floor with the laptop on her lap. She is still on the phone.] Week Six: Cousin: Due to auto-config issues, I'm leaving Ubuntu for Debian. Cueball: Uh. Cousin: Or Gentoo. Cueball: Uh oh. [Cueball's cousin lies on her stomach with the laptop on the floor. On the floor are several pieces of paper and a book. Cueball stands to her left.] Week Twelve: Cueball: You haven't answered your phone in days. Cousin: Can't sleep. Must compile kernel. Cueball: I'm too late. [Box with text:] Parents: talk to your kids about Linux... Before somebody else does.

Frustration

Frustration

https://www.xkcd.com/457

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/457:_Frustration

[Black bra with Rubik's cube closure.]

A bra is pictured here, but instead of a traditional clasp, a Rubik's cube is used instead. The comic is a metaphor for how many men (and potentially women who don't wear bras) have difficulty removing their woman lover's bra before sex. Women who wear bras are going to be quite adept at unhooking their bras simply due to experience and muscle memory. However, many common bra clasps are unique to bras and aren't found on other clothing, so their bra-less lover, lacking that experience, might fumble with the clasp for quite some time. In the heat of the moment, a lover may feel frustrated if they feel that the act of removing a bra is needlessly complicated and distracts from the activity at hand (namely sex). Depending on the clasp mechanism, attempting to remove the bra may seem as frustrating (hence the comic title) and complicated as solving a Rubik's cube. A literal bra clasped with a Rubik's cube would doubtless be especially frustrating, as someone wishing to remove the bra would have to solve the Rubik's cube every time in order to undo the clasp. This would doubtless prove annoying, especially for a partner who may want to remove the wearer's clothing without impediment. A normal bra clasp can be tricky enough for the inexperienced user, but the addition of the Rubik's Cube element is going too far. However, it is possible that this is actually a nerdsnipe bra, as it appears to be a front-clasped bra, making the Rubik's cube a red herring. The title text is an imagined conversation between someone trying to undo this bra and someone who is likely wearing the bra. The first person explains that they can "do it" (i.e. undo the bra) in under a minute, which is a reasonably impressive skill to have if you are not a professional speedcuber . The second person replies that they've noticed, a sarcastic reply that relies on the alternative, sexual meaning of "do it," implying a complaint about the first person's speedy performance in bed. [Black bra with Rubik's cube closure.]

Regrets

Regrets

https://www.xkcd.com/458

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/458:_Regrets

[Bar Graph] Number of Google results for: "I _____ have kissed her" (or him) Shouldn't: 1,213 Should: 10,230

The comic is a bar graph that shows more people regret having not pursued/kissed a love interest than regret having pursued/kissed one. It should be noted that as of June 28, 2020, the position has reversed: there are about 52.5 million results for "I should have kissed her" and 62.7 million for "I shouldn't have kissed her." The title text refers to the Friedberg and Seltzer movie Epic Movie , a "comedy" movie that received overwhelmingly negative reception, and is widely considered one of the worst movies ever made. In referencing that movie, Randall agrees with that opinion and expresses the theme of regret in a completely different context by suggesting that people who watched the movie overwhelmingly regretted doing so. After this comic was released, the search results for "I'm glad I saw Epic Movie" at Google did grow up to more than 8,000 results. [Bar Graph] Number of Google results for: "I _____ have kissed her" (or him) Shouldn't: 1,213 Should: 10,230

Holy Ghost

Holy Ghost

https://www.xkcd.com/459

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/459:_Holy_Ghost

[The Pope stands behind a table.] Pope: This is a disaster. Ghostbuster (off-screen): Is it really that bad? [The Pope seen from the side in white on a black background. The text is in white:] Pope: Do you know how much scripture we'll have to revise? Ghostbuster (off-screen): Look, we've apologized – [Zoom out from the bishop] Pope: I mean, we can't have a trinity with just a Father and a Son! Ghostbuster (off-screen): Again we're sorry. [The four Cueball-like Ghostbusters with their proton packs.] Pope (off-screen): Sorry's not enough. Guards, take their proton packs. Ghostbuster: Hey, we were just doing our jobs!

The majority of Christian sects (including Roman Catholicism ) profess belief in the conception of a singular God wherein there is a mysterious unity of three distinct 'persons' who share in one another's divinity, in a concept called the Trinity . The three persons are conventionally called the Father , the Son , and the Holy Spirit — but in more archaic English usage, the third person was referred to as the Holy Ghost . The 1984 movie Ghostbusters was based on the premise that ghosts exist and that four unemployed men had access to technology that could trap such ghosts. These men formed a business as Ghostbusters, and an important tool in their arsenal was a so-called "proton stream" powered by a wearable backpack. These streams would prod or stun ghosts, allowing them to be maneuvered into traps. Throughout the movie, the Ghostbusters reminded each other 'not to cross the streams', as this was supposed to cause a disastrous reaction, until the climax of the movie where crossing the streams was required to banish the main antagonist. Here we see that the Ghostbusters have apparently just encountered and eliminated the Holy Ghost, and are being taken to task by the Pope , the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. He points out that much of Christian theology is grounded in the doctrine of the Trinity and is unwilling to accept the Ghostbusters' apology. The title text is a play on a short Catholic prayer called the Sign of the Cross (the physical motions of which involve touching the forehead, chest, and shoulders), the practice of which is colloquially called 'crossing oneself', and on the danger of the Ghostbusters' 'crossing the streams' and touching two proton streams together, which in Ghostbusters canon causes an explosive chain reaction in all nearby atoms. [The Pope stands behind a table.] Pope: This is a disaster. Ghostbuster (off-screen): Is it really that bad? [The Pope seen from the side in white on a black background. The text is in white:] Pope: Do you know how much scripture we'll have to revise? Ghostbuster (off-screen): Look, we've apologized – [Zoom out from the bishop] Pope: I mean, we can't have a trinity with just a Father and a Son! Ghostbuster (off-screen): Again we're sorry. [The four Cueball-like Ghostbusters with their proton packs.] Pope (off-screen): Sorry's not enough. Guards, take their proton packs. Ghostbuster: Hey, we were just doing our jobs!

Paleontology

Paleontology

https://www.xkcd.com/460

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/460:_Paleontology

[Cueball and Ponytail in a museum, near a reconstructed dinosaur fossil and a display cabinet.] Ponytail: Man, paleontology sucks these days. Cueball: Why? Ponytail: Jurassic Park came out 15 years ago. Cueball: So? Ponytail: Today's grad students got into dinosaurs after seeing it as kids. They don't care about fossils. Brats. [A woman in a hat exploring a barren landscape.] Ponytail: Before they had living dinosaurs handed to them by Hollywood, I was out in Texas digging up Arcocanthosaur teeth. Cueball: So, you were into dinosaurs when they were still underground? Ponytail: Exactly!

This comic is essentially a set up for a pun: "Underground" can mean "under the ground" (buried in the dirt) or "non-mainstream." In this case, Ponytail is whining that she had been doing paleontology before Jurassic Park kicked paleontology into the mainstream with living reproductions of dinosaurs, thus apparently undermining the hard work paleontologists had done. In other words, this comic is also poking fun at hipsters. Of note is the fact that Acrocanthosaurus is misspelled in the third panel as " arco canthosaur." Assuming this isn't merely a spelling mistake on Randall 's part, Ponytail's incorrect pronunciation further undermines her self-proclaimed superiority over all the Jurassic Park -inspired "bandwagon" paleontologists. The title text refers to the controversy of calling the Brontosaurus by its newer, correct (at the time) generic name of Apatosaurus , despite its previous name still being in mainstream use long after its taxonomic redefinition in 1903. (As of 2015, Brontosaurus is once again the correct generic name, as it has been reclassified as a distinct genus .) The title text claims that this renaming has "jumped the ichthyosaur," which is a play on the idiom " jumping the shark " — i.e. that the subject of dinosaurs has reached a point of declining relevance, and Brontosaurus has been renamed as a publicity stunt to compensate. The " shark " in the idiom has been replaced by an " Ichthyosaur ," which was a marine reptile that resembled a shark or dolphin and lived alongside dinosaurs during the Mesozoic era (although sharks also lived during that time). 636: Brontosaurus also references the Brontosaurus name change. A Brontosaurus also appears in 15: Just Alerting You and an Apatosaurus in 650: Nowhere . [Cueball and Ponytail in a museum, near a reconstructed dinosaur fossil and a display cabinet.] Ponytail: Man, paleontology sucks these days. Cueball: Why? Ponytail: Jurassic Park came out 15 years ago. Cueball: So? Ponytail: Today's grad students got into dinosaurs after seeing it as kids. They don't care about fossils. Brats. [A woman in a hat exploring a barren landscape.] Ponytail: Before they had living dinosaurs handed to them by Hollywood, I was out in Texas digging up Arcocanthosaur teeth. Cueball: So, you were into dinosaurs when they were still underground? Ponytail: Exactly!

Google Maps

Google Maps

https://www.xkcd.com/461

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/461:_Google_Maps

My road trip with my brother ran into trouble around page three of the Google Maps printout [Google Maps printout.] ← 70. Slight left at RT-22 - go 6.8 mi → 71. Turn right to stay on RT-22 - go 2.6 mi ← 72. Turn left at Lake Shore Rd - go 312 ft → 73. Turn right at Dock St - go 427 ft [An icon of water] 74. Take the ferry across the lake. - go 2.8 mi [A car is driving in the dark.] Brother: Okay, now take Dock St toward the ferry. Cueball: We're supposed to take a ferry? It's past midnight, and these woods are creepy. Brother: Google Maps wouldn't steer us wrong. [Cueball and his brother stand outside the car. The ferry has a sign on it reading CLOSED.] [Cueball is standing next to his brother, who is holding a Google Maps printout.] [Cueball motions towards his brother.] Cueball: Let me see those directions. [Google Maps printout.] [An icon of water] 74. Take the ferry across the lake. - go 2.8 mi ↗ 75. Climb the HILL toward Hangman's Ridge, avoiding any mountain lions. - up 1,172 ft ↷ 76. When you reach an old barn, go around back, knock on the second door, and ask for Charlie. - go 52 ft [An icon of a van] 77. Tell Charlie the Dancing Stones are restless . He will give you his van . - Careful [An icon of a straw man] 78. Take Charlie's van down Old Mine Road . Do not wake the Straw Man . - go π mi ← 79. Turn left on Comstock . When you feel the blood chill in your veins , stop the van and get out. - go 3.2 mi ↓ 80. Stand very still. Exits are north , south , and east , but are blocked by a Spectral Wolf . - go 0 ft [An icon of a menacing face] 81. The Spectral Wolf fears only fire . The Google Maps Team can no longer help you, but if you master the wolf , he will guide you. Godspeed. - go ?? mi

Google Maps is a web mapping service application. Before smartphones with GPS mapping software were widespread and most people's printers hadn't yet run out of ink, it was common to print out directions to take with you on a trip. The web version of Google Maps has many features including a route planner. As sophisticated as early versions were, it occasionally gave suboptimal directions. For example, the directions may tell you to take an exit that, in reality, is unmarked. Directions also did not take time of day into account, which would help in planning routes to avoid traffic or to make use of services such as a ferry. Though no specific game or movie is referenced, steps 75 to 81 of the directions read like the plot of a horror film, a guide of a video game, or a role playing game. A straw man is another term for scarecrow, a common antagonist in both. Step 80 reads exactly like an old text adventure game's description of an area. There are additional small jokes in the distance column of the directions: This might be a reference to Google Maps' many easter eggs . The title text tells us that Cueball and his brother attempted to drive around the lake, since they could not take the ferry. It seems they also had an unfortunate run-in with the Straw Man, apparently waking him as the directions warned against. My road trip with my brother ran into trouble around page three of the Google Maps printout [Google Maps printout.] ← 70. Slight left at RT-22 - go 6.8 mi → 71. Turn right to stay on RT-22 - go 2.6 mi ← 72. Turn left at Lake Shore Rd - go 312 ft → 73. Turn right at Dock St - go 427 ft [An icon of water] 74. Take the ferry across the lake. - go 2.8 mi [A car is driving in the dark.] Brother: Okay, now take Dock St toward the ferry. Cueball: We're supposed to take a ferry? It's past midnight, and these woods are creepy. Brother: Google Maps wouldn't steer us wrong. [Cueball and his brother stand outside the car. The ferry has a sign on it reading CLOSED.] [Cueball is standing next to his brother, who is holding a Google Maps printout.] [Cueball motions towards his brother.] Cueball: Let me see those directions. [Google Maps printout.] [An icon of water] 74. Take the ferry across the lake. - go 2.8 mi ↗ 75. Climb the HILL toward Hangman's Ridge, avoiding any mountain lions. - up 1,172 ft ↷ 76. When you reach an old barn, go around back, knock on the second door, and ask for Charlie. - go 52 ft [An icon of a van] 77. Tell Charlie the Dancing Stones are restless . He will give you his van . - Careful [An icon of a straw man] 78. Take Charlie's van down Old Mine Road . Do not wake the Straw Man . - go π mi ← 79. Turn left on Comstock . When you feel the blood chill in your veins , stop the van and get out. - go 3.2 mi ↓ 80. Stand very still. Exits are north , south , and east , but are blocked by a Spectral Wolf . - go 0 ft [An icon of a menacing face] 81. The Spectral Wolf fears only fire . The Google Maps Team can no longer help you, but if you master the wolf , he will guide you. Godspeed. - go ?? mi

Freemanic Paracusia

Freemanic Paracusia

https://www.xkcd.com/462

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/462:_Freemanic_Paracusia

[Cueball is sitting behind a desk with a computer.] Freemanic Paracusia: A disorder wherein you hear everything you read in the comforting voice of Morgan Freeman. [There is a thought bubble of Cueball's thoughts, within it is Morgan Freeman reading text.] Morgan Freeman: Why, you could enlarge your penis for cheap. My, my. Isn't that something.

Paracusia is a form of hallucination that involves perceiving sounds without auditory stimulus. Morgan Freeman is an American actor who may be best known as the character Red in The Shawshank Redemption , where he is also the narrator. He narrates because he is especially known for his soothing and mellow voice, which helps him amplify performances in minor parts, such as God in Bruce Almighty . He has been a narrator of many TV programs and also narrated the major film War of the Worlds where he did not play any other part. The comic is a play on the combination of the two. The idea is that while reading a text, instead of hearing your own voice in your mind's ear, you substitute it for Freeman's voice, giving a new perspective on the contents of the text. Here, the voice of Morgan Freeman converts the most annoying possible thing on the web (penis enlargement advertisements) into a soothing meditation. The title text suggests to apply this specifically on the mostly stupid comments on YouTube, like those found in 202: YouTube . [Cueball is sitting behind a desk with a computer.] Freemanic Paracusia: A disorder wherein you hear everything you read in the comforting voice of Morgan Freeman. [There is a thought bubble of Cueball's thoughts, within it is Morgan Freeman reading text.] Morgan Freeman: Why, you could enlarge your penis for cheap. My, my. Isn't that something.

Voting Machines

Voting Machines

https://www.xkcd.com/463

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/463:_Voting_Machines

[Caption above panels:] Premier Election Solutions (formerly Diebold) has blamed Ohio voting machine errors on problems with the machines' McAfee antivirus software. [Cueball is sitting at a computer, facepalming.] Cueball: Wait. "Antivirus software"? On voting machines? You're doing it wrong. [Cueball's friend enters the frame and speaks to Cueball.] Friend: Why? Security is good, right? Cueball: Of course. But, well— Cueball: Imagine you're at a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher reassures you that he always wears a condom while teaching. Friend: Ah. Strictly speaking, it's better than the alternative— Cueball: —Yet someone is clearly doing their job horribly wrong.

In the 2008 Ohio primary elections, there were numerous problems with electronic voting machines, which eventually required many districts to revert to pen and paper. Premier Election Solutions, the company that handled the machines, blamed these problems on McAfee antivirus software. It is not uncommon to see computer software contracts stipulating that the vendor will warrant that software and systems delivered will not contain any viruses or malicious code ("malware") — a knee-jerk reaction to this is for novice management to include malware-scanning "antivirus" software for systems that otherwise are closed. From a computer programming standpoint, having antivirus software on an electronic voting machine doesn't make sense, because ideally the machine shouldn't be connecting to *anything* external (eg the internet, USB, a local network, removable drives, bluetooth...) that would leave it open to malware attacks. While there are many ways that malware can reach a computer, ultimately the computer still has to run executable code that was not distributed with it in the first place, which is something that no election machine should encounter in normal operation. Hence, the question is whether the voting machine manufacturer has taken the proper precaution preventing any external access. Ideally, voting machines (as well as ATMs and other single-purpose appliances) should be embedded systems , supposedly making them incapable of doing the things that might necessitate antivirus software. However, in practice, such devices are more commonly built as application programs running on ordinary Windows PCs (inside of custom-shaped cases), and they download software updates over the internet, synchronize voting data to a single "Ballot Box" server over a local network, use USB peripherals which could potentially be replaced by a bad actor, etc. And even embedded systems are vulnerable to many classes of malware. The comic makes an analogy to a teacher who reassures you that he always wears a condom when teaching. While a condom could be considered "protection," and therefore a good thing, common sense dictates that teachers should never end up in a situation where wearing a condom in school would be useful; this parallels the idea that while security in the form of antivirus software on voting machines could also be considered protection and a good thing, it should never be required. The comment is more likely to make people worried about why the condom is there and what purpose it's serving. Similarly, informed people might worry why a voting machine has any access to malicious executable code. In panel one, both the facepalm and "You're doing it wrong" are Internet memes , used to mock someone who made a foolish mistake. The title text refers to 153: Cryptography . Voting software is also featured in 2030: Voting Software . [Caption above panels:] Premier Election Solutions (formerly Diebold) has blamed Ohio voting machine errors on problems with the machines' McAfee antivirus software. [Cueball is sitting at a computer, facepalming.] Cueball: Wait. "Antivirus software"? On voting machines? You're doing it wrong. [Cueball's friend enters the frame and speaks to Cueball.] Friend: Why? Security is good, right? Cueball: Of course. But, well— Cueball: Imagine you're at a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher reassures you that he always wears a condom while teaching. Friend: Ah. Strictly speaking, it's better than the alternative— Cueball: —Yet someone is clearly doing their job horribly wrong.

RBA

RBA

https://www.xkcd.com/464

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/464:_RBA

[Megan walks up to Cueball pouring himself a drink.] Megan: Now, this is a story all about how Megan: My life got flipped turned upside down Megan: And I'd like to take a minute Megan: Just sit right there Megan: I'll tell you how I became uncertain about our relationship. I think you just like having a girlfriend, it doesn't matter who. Megan: I think we should break up. The reverse Bel-Air only works once, so make it something unforgettable. [Cut to a dropped glass, the drink spilled on the ground.] Cueball: ...wait, seriously? Megan: Yeah.

A Bel-Air is an internet meme where a poster on a message board starts a post on a serious topic, but partway through the post switches to reciting the lyrics to the opening theme song of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air , a 1990s sitcom starring Will Smith (previously known in his rapping career as the "Fresh Prince") as a street-smart teenager from West Philadelphia who has been sent to live with his affluent and stuffy Aunt and Uncle in Bel Air, Los Angeles by his mother as a consequence of a single altercation with a couple of no-good guys who were making trouble in his previous neighbourhood. Megan in the comic reverses the traditional arrangement by starting the conversation with a recitation of the lyrics to said theme song, and then switching partway through to a very serious discussion of the status of their relationship culminating in a break-up. The lyrics go like this: Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air The title RBA is an initialism for Reverse Bel-Air . The title text is also an RBA, but one that diverges from the song lyrics much more quickly. It's a play on the phrase "started drinking." This phrase usually refers to someone becoming an alcoholic (in this case, it would be because of the break-up), but in this case refers to the actual fact that Cueball had just started drinking (a glass of water) when Megan started talking to him. A similar (though less serious) play on the Bel-Air meme was later used in 1059: Bel-Air . [Megan walks up to Cueball pouring himself a drink.] Megan: Now, this is a story all about how Megan: My life got flipped turned upside down Megan: And I'd like to take a minute Megan: Just sit right there Megan: I'll tell you how I became uncertain about our relationship. I think you just like having a girlfriend, it doesn't matter who. Megan: I think we should break up. The reverse Bel-Air only works once, so make it something unforgettable. [Cut to a dropped glass, the drink spilled on the ground.] Cueball: ...wait, seriously? Megan: Yeah.

Quantum Teleportation

Quantum Teleportation

https://www.xkcd.com/465

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/465:_Quantum_Teleportation

[A Cueball-like reporter and Cueball are facing each other, sitting in chairs.] Reporter: So, Quantum Teleportation- Cueball: The name is misleading. It's a particle statistics thing. [Zoom in on the reporter.] Reporter: So it's not like Star Trek? That's boring. [Zoom out again to both. Cueball leaves his seat and moves behind it.] Cueball: Okay, I'm sick of this. Every time there's a paper on quantum teleportation, you reporters write the same disappointed story. [Cueball has gone to a device that was behind him and was out of the scope of the three previous panels. He turns a knob that makes a sound in a zigzag sound buble.] Reporter (Off panel): But- Cueball: Talk to someone else. I'm going to the Bahamas. Knob: Click [Inserted panel with a zoom in on the device that is labeled, and the knob is now turned to the right position. Both possible positions are labeled.] Label: Teleporter Left: Quantum Right: Regular [Cueball is beamed up in classic Star Trek fashion.] Vrmmm

Quantum teleportation is a method of effectively taking a quantum state that exists in one laboratory and destroying it in the current laboratory and later recreating exactly the same — still unmeasured — quantum state in another laboratory that could potentially be very far away. This is achieved by first creating an entangled quantum state in a laboratory and moving one part of the entangled quantum state to a faraway laboratory. Now let's say a scientist desires to teleport the quantum state |ψ⟩ to a faraway lab. The scientists does a specific measurement on the combination of |ψ⟩ and their half of the entangled quantum state, and the outcome of their measurement will be two bits of classical information. They can then telephone over the results of their two bits of information to tell scientists at the faraway lab how to do a measurement on their half of the entangled quantum state, which will recreate the quantum state |ψ⟩ at the faraway lab, effectively teleporting it. This is an important result in quantum mechanics, especially in regards to quantum computing. The name is misleading in that it does not create an efficient means of transportation via teleportation — something like the teleporters from Star Trek i.e. a conventional teleporter — where macroscopic objects like humans (composed of 7 × 10 27 atoms ) could be teleported to an arbitrary place. The comic jokes with the fact that news reporters wish to get a story about Star Trek teleporters, and the scientist is angry that there is no interest in his quantum version — the reporters are even disappointed when they write their story. The last panel appears to indicate that this scientist not only has a quantum teleporter, he also has a "regular" teleporter of the type the reporter is asking about, which would be a gigantic news item, as it is one of the biggest challenges of this century (and possibly future ones as well) to build one. He uses the conventional to escape to The Bahamas. The whole method of quantum teleportation is predicated on being able to first create entangled quantum states and then transport, by conventional means, one-half of the entangled state. Only after this step could you then destroy the shared entangled quantum state, to "teleport" a different quantum state to the new location. Quantum teleportation is deeply related to Bell's theorem where it's shown that quantum mechanics is incompatible with the idea of local hidden variables and that has been experimentally demonstrated (though a few very small loopholes still have not been conclusively ruled out). Explaining "it's a particle statistics thing" is a great explanation of the related Bell's theorem experiments, which demonstrate quantum entanglement, which is at the root of quantum teleportation. In these experiments, physicists take an entangled quantum state, move it apart, and then randomly decide which direction to measure each side of the quantum states. Through a statistical analysis of the results, you can demonstrate and measure each entangled particle in a randomly chosen direction. The statistical correlations between the particles are consistent with quantum mechanics and inconsistent with any local hidden variable theory; however, this instantaneous wave-function collapse does not break special relativity as wave-function collapse does not allow communication of any information . Instead, you can just analyze the correlations after the fact and compare the hypothesis of local hidden variables to the inconsistent hypothesis predicted by quantum mechanics and verify the quantum mechanical prediction. In the comic, Cueball explains to the reporter that quantum teleportation isn't what reporters build it up to be, before Cueball successfully teleports by switching his teleportation machine from quantum teleportation to regular teleportation. The title text refers to the controversial 1940s Soviet Experiments in the Revival of Organisms video that depicts a dog's head being cut off and revived. The film is controversial in that the footage is often perceived as being staged, though the Soviet scientist depicted in the video was attempting these sorts of experiments, and this research eventually led to the first Soviet open heart operation in 1957 — another instance of crazy headlines that may not be as interesting to the public when first explained, but may be an important step on the way to some type of practical use. Cutting apart and reassembling dogs could also be a metaphor for quantum teleportation if it were used to transfer dogs' states from a group of particles in one location to a group of particles in another location, which could be described as taking apart dogs and resembling them in a different location, although the word cut would be inaccurate. If this is the case, then Randall is arguing that this particular piece of science is as cool as it seems (because the objects are disassembled then resembled into someone else, as opposed to simply being moved); the reporters are merely disappointed because they were expecting something else. [A Cueball-like reporter and Cueball are facing each other, sitting in chairs.] Reporter: So, Quantum Teleportation- Cueball: The name is misleading. It's a particle statistics thing. [Zoom in on the reporter.] Reporter: So it's not like Star Trek? That's boring. [Zoom out again to both. Cueball leaves his seat and moves behind it.] Cueball: Okay, I'm sick of this. Every time there's a paper on quantum teleportation, you reporters write the same disappointed story. [Cueball has gone to a device that was behind him and was out of the scope of the three previous panels. He turns a knob that makes a sound in a zigzag sound buble.] Reporter (Off panel): But- Cueball: Talk to someone else. I'm going to the Bahamas. Knob: Click [Inserted panel with a zoom in on the device that is labeled, and the knob is now turned to the right position. Both possible positions are labeled.] Label: Teleporter Left: Quantum Right: Regular [Cueball is beamed up in classic Star Trek fashion.] Vrmmm

Moving

Moving

https://www.xkcd.com/466

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/466:_Moving

[Caption above the panel:] There are few forces more powerful than geeks desperately trying to get internet in a new apartment. [Cueball is pointing an empty can out the open window. It is placed on a moving box, and lots of small parts are lying on the floor in the otherwise empty room. Megan stands behind him with a laptop in one hand.] Cueball: Okay, the pringles cantenna has let us patch into the WiFi network across the road. Megan: And they have internet? Cueball: No, but I think the cable van will hook up their house first.

The caption notes that few forces are more powerful than a geek trying to get Internet in a new apartment, thus explaining the title of the comic: Moving . One of the consequences of moving one's place of residence is having to arrange connection to various essential utilities, including the internet. One way to reduce the time where such utilities are unavailable is to steal them off your neighbours. As geeks prioritise access to Minecraft over common human values, they are more likely to access other's internet via such underhanded means. A cantenna is a do-it-yourself antenna made from a can, in this case a pringles can. Cueball is pointing his cantenna to the neighbors across the road, which, as he says, will allow him to connect to the wifi network there. Megan asks if the neighbors themselves have internet access, to which Cueball answers that they don't, but he thinks that they will get hooked up to the internet first. Potentially this is because they are more likely to pay for their internet access rather than hacking someone else's. The title text continues this theme of connecting to other people's networks, noting that we should have a holiday in honour of those people who don't bother reconfiguring their Linksys routers (thus leaving them with the default name of 'linksys'; this was very common when this comic was published in 2008), which allows other people to connect to those networks very easily, as they aren't encrypted by default and don't need a password. [Caption above the panel:] There are few forces more powerful than geeks desperately trying to get internet in a new apartment. [Cueball is pointing an empty can out the open window. It is placed on a moving box, and lots of small parts are lying on the floor in the otherwise empty room. Megan stands behind him with a laptop in one hand.] Cueball: Okay, the pringles cantenna has let us patch into the WiFi network across the road. Megan: And they have internet? Cueball: No, but I think the cable van will hook up their house first.

X Girls Y Cups

X Girls Y Cups

https://www.xkcd.com/467

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/467:_X_Girls_Y_Cups

Google results for "<x> girls <y> cups" [There is a table with eight columns and eight rows. The cells are colored depending on the value in the cell: cells with the value 0 are clear/white, cells with values 1-9 are yellow, cells with values 10 and above are orange, and the cell with the highest value is red.] [Above the tabel is the label for the columns:] Cups [To the left the label for the rows:] Girls [0 girls 0 cups has value 3; 0 girls 1 cup has 375; 0 girls 2 cups has 9; 1 girl 0 cups has 7; 1 girl 1 cup has 7503; 1 girl 2 cups has 2007; 1 girl 3 cups has 10; 1 girl 4 cups has 5; 1 girl 5 cups has 3; 1 girl 6 cups has 6; 1 girl 7 cups has 2; 2 girls 0 cups has 9; 2 girls 1 cup has 1,929,000; 2 girls 2 cups has 247; 2 girls 3 cups has 7; 2 girls 4 cups has 14; 2 girls 5 cups has 13; 2 girls 6 cups has 2; 2 girls 7 cups has 1; 3 girls 0 cups has 7; 3 girls 1 cup has 6335; 3 girls 2 cups has 394; 3 girls 3 cups has 34; 3 girls 4 cups has 3; 3 girls 5 cups has 2; 3 girls 6 cups has 6; 4 girls 0 cups has 3; 4 girls 1 cup has 3513; 4 girls 2 cups has 34; 4 girls 4 cups has 63; 5 girls 0 cups has 1; 5 girls 1 cup has 9; 5 girls 2 cups has 5; 5 girls 3 cups has 3; 5 girls 6 cups has 3; 6 girls 0 cups has 3; 6 girls 1 cup has 1461; 6 girls 2 cups has 1; 6 girls 3 cups has 1; 6 girls 4 cups has 1; 7 girls 0 cups has 2; 7 girls 1 cup has 19; 7 girls 2 cups has 4; 7 girls 3 cups has 2; and the rest have 0.]

The comic refers to Hungry Bitches , a 2007 scat-fetish pornographic film. The one-minute preview, unofficially nicknamed "2 Girls 1 Cup," is a viral video that became a well-known internet meme . It is therefore not surprising that only the input combination of x=2 and y=1 generates a significant number of search results, being 257 times as frequent as the runner-up, "1 Girl 1 Cup." This table is an example of a rudimentary heat map . The cells in the table with zero hits are white. From 1 to 9 they are yellow, and above that they are orange - except the maximum, which is red. As the second largest count is below 10,000 (7503) and the maximum almost two million, it is impossible to say if the red color is reserved for the maximum or for any number above a given value, say from ten thousand or up to above a million hits. The title text suggests other combinations like 1 girl to 10,000 cups (very large number of cups to one girl), 2 girls to (5+3i) cups (a complex number ), 65536 girls to 65536 cups (2 16 , the first integer that can't be represented as a two-byte unsigned integer), and finally 3 French hens and 2 turtle doves to 1 cup. All are phrases with apparently no search results. The last phrase is a reference to the song The Twelve Days of Christmas . After the publication of this comic, the phrase has been cross-posted at various sites in order to generate search results and prove the statement in the title text wrong. The same has happened to other entries, as it often happens shortly after Randall posts something regarding Google searches. Google results for "<x> girls <y> cups" [There is a table with eight columns and eight rows. The cells are colored depending on the value in the cell: cells with the value 0 are clear/white, cells with values 1-9 are yellow, cells with values 10 and above are orange, and the cell with the highest value is red.] [Above the tabel is the label for the columns:] Cups [To the left the label for the rows:] Girls [0 girls 0 cups has value 3; 0 girls 1 cup has 375; 0 girls 2 cups has 9; 1 girl 0 cups has 7; 1 girl 1 cup has 7503; 1 girl 2 cups has 2007; 1 girl 3 cups has 10; 1 girl 4 cups has 5; 1 girl 5 cups has 3; 1 girl 6 cups has 6; 1 girl 7 cups has 2; 2 girls 0 cups has 9; 2 girls 1 cup has 1,929,000; 2 girls 2 cups has 247; 2 girls 3 cups has 7; 2 girls 4 cups has 14; 2 girls 5 cups has 13; 2 girls 6 cups has 2; 2 girls 7 cups has 1; 3 girls 0 cups has 7; 3 girls 1 cup has 6335; 3 girls 2 cups has 394; 3 girls 3 cups has 34; 3 girls 4 cups has 3; 3 girls 5 cups has 2; 3 girls 6 cups has 6; 4 girls 0 cups has 3; 4 girls 1 cup has 3513; 4 girls 2 cups has 34; 4 girls 4 cups has 63; 5 girls 0 cups has 1; 5 girls 1 cup has 9; 5 girls 2 cups has 5; 5 girls 3 cups has 3; 5 girls 6 cups has 3; 6 girls 0 cups has 3; 6 girls 1 cup has 1461; 6 girls 2 cups has 1; 6 girls 3 cups has 1; 6 girls 4 cups has 1; 7 girls 0 cups has 2; 7 girls 1 cup has 19; 7 girls 2 cups has 4; 7 girls 3 cups has 2; and the rest have 0.]

Fetishes

Fetishes

https://www.xkcd.com/468

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/468:_Fetishes

[Caption above the panel:] Author Katharine Gates recently attempted to make a chart of all sexual fetishes. Little did she know that Russell and Whitehead had already failed at this same task. [Russell, with long hair, and Whitehead are standing with Gödel (the last two are both Cueball-like), Russell holding a clipboard and smoking a pipe. Gödel is holding his chin with his right hand as he ponders the question.] Russell: Hey, Gödel — we're compiling a comprehensive list of fetishes. What turns you on? Gödel: Anything not on your list. Russell: Uh…hm.

Bertrand Russell and Alfred North Whitehead co-wrote the Principia Mathematica , with the intention of cataloging all of mathematics and ridding it of contradiction and self-reference. Kurt Gödel later showed that such a system is impossible, and that any system of axioms (complex enough to represent arithmetic) is incomplete . This comic, however, presents an alternate universe scenario: here, Russell and Whitehead are pursuing the more salacious (but no less comprehensive) task of compiling a list of all sexual fetishes. This seems to be going fine until they ask Gödel for his fetishes; Gödel says that he is turned on by "anything not on your list." This creates a paradox - Russell and Whitehead now have no way to complete their list, because Gödel's fetishes cannot be included without putting them on the list, which would immediately invalidate them. In fact, this is precisely Russell's Paradox , discovered by Bertrand Russell himself. The title text references Georg Cantor , the inventor of set theory , and adds a second, similar paradox: if you have a fetish for doing everything in the book twice, then that belongs in the book - but then, you must also have a fetish for doing that twice, so you have to put that in the book too; this process will keep adding fetishes to the book ad infinitum , again making the task impossible to complete. There is a fetish roadmap ( archive.org ) by Katharine Gates, author of Deviant Desires and DeviantDesires.com. An earlier comic also refers to Kurt Gödel: 24: Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey . [Caption above the panel:] Author Katharine Gates recently attempted to make a chart of all sexual fetishes. Little did she know that Russell and Whitehead had already failed at this same task. [Russell, with long hair, and Whitehead are standing with Gödel (the last two are both Cueball-like), Russell holding a clipboard and smoking a pipe. Gödel is holding his chin with his right hand as he ponders the question.] Russell: Hey, Gödel — we're compiling a comprehensive list of fetishes. What turns you on? Gödel: Anything not on your list. Russell: Uh…hm.

Improvised

Improvised

https://www.xkcd.com/469

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/469:_Improvised

[Caption above the panels:] Harrison Ford famously improvised his "I know" line in E.S.B. Here are a few of his less-successful ad-libs: [Harrison Ford as Han Solo (in all the panels) stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Well, duh. [Han Solo in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon.] C-3P0: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3720 to 1! Han: Seriously? ...Christ. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Oh! Hey, that explains the kissing earlier. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: I'm nailing your brother. [Han Solo standing in front of Luke Skywalker, who is holding a blast shield helmet and a lightsaber. The training droid hovers between them.] Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for scissors, though they do beat paper and rock. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Cool. Listen, this thing is really, really cold. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Wowzers. [Han Solo sits with two others. General Madine approaches.] Madine: General Solo, is your strike team assembled? Han: Barely. They're pretty drunk. [Han Solo and Princess Leia stand in an Ice Tunnel of Hoth.] Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a wookie. Han: Man, me too but Chewie never seems interested. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

In the second of the original Star Wars film Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back , just before Han Solo , portrayed by Harrison Ford , is frozen in carbonite, the following conversation occurs: Leia: I love you. Han: I know. The original script had Han Solo respond to Leia with "I love you, too," but Harrison Ford felt that the character would not give such a cliched response, even in the face of likely death. He and the director Irvin Kershner changed the line to "I know" before filming. They did, however, also film the scripted version, but it was the "I know" version that was actually used in the finished film. This line is generally thought to be better than the original would have been. It was long thought that Harrison Ford ad-libed the line. Others have even suggested it was because they had filmed the scene so many times, that Ford in exasperation at some point just blurted out the "I know" after hearing "I love you" so many times. But it has later been revealed that it was not ad-lib on the spot, although Harrison did suggest the I know line to the director. This has been described here: How the Famous 'I Love You/I Know' Scene From 'The Empire Strikes Back' Really Came Together . The comic presents several alternative ad-libs that Ford could have made in that conversation, as well as at various points throughout the original trilogy. So in this situation, it is the actor Ford and not Han Solo who speaks the lines. Note: although it's spelled "wookie" in the comic, the canonical spelling of Chewbacca's species is " Wookiee ". The title text continues the ad-lib in panel four. It refers to the plot twist that Luke Skywalker is Princess Leia's brother, which would not be revealed until the next film in the series. How Harrison Ford knows this twist at this point in the story is unknown. [Caption above the panels:] Harrison Ford famously improvised his "I know" line in E.S.B. Here are a few of his less-successful ad-libs: [Harrison Ford as Han Solo (in all the panels) stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Well, duh. [Han Solo in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon.] C-3P0: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3720 to 1! Han: Seriously? ...Christ. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Oh! Hey, that explains the kissing earlier. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: I'm nailing your brother. [Han Solo standing in front of Luke Skywalker, who is holding a blast shield helmet and a lightsaber. The training droid hovers between them.] Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for scissors, though they do beat paper and rock. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Cool. Listen, this thing is really, really cold. [Han Solo stands in front of Princess Leia on the Cloud City Carbon Freezing Chamber.] Leia: I love you. Han: Wowzers. [Han Solo sits with two others. General Madine approaches.] Madine: General Solo, is your strike team assembled? Han: Barely. They're pretty drunk. [Han Solo and Princess Leia stand in an Ice Tunnel of Hoth.] Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a wookie. Han: Man, me too but Chewie never seems interested. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

The End is Not for a While

The End is Not for a While

https://www.xkcd.com/470

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/470:_The_End_is_Not_for_a_While

[Cueball with two picket signs. Ponytail with a picket sign stands partially out of the frame, staring at Cueball.] I get in trouble for showing up contented at protests. Sign 1: Things are pretty okay! Sign 2: Anyone for Scrabble later?

People show up at protests because they're angry about something and want to use peaceful means or otherwise to effect political change. It's very much a groupthink, "mob" mentality, bringing to mind the credo, "If you're not with us, you're against us." Hardly anyone goes to a protest because they're happy about the way things are, and thus, someone holding up signs saying how happy he is would, to say the least, be very out of place at a protest, although it's more common than expected . The title text shows another sign Cueball is carrying (although since it compliments the protesters, he may not get in as much trouble for it). The title of the comic refers to the oft-seen protest placard "The end is now," signifying that person's belief that we live in the end times, and it's time to start getting right with (insert religious figure of your choice here). [Cueball with two picket signs. Ponytail with a picket sign stands partially out of the frame, staring at Cueball.] I get in trouble for showing up contented at protests. Sign 1: Things are pretty okay! Sign 2: Anyone for Scrabble later?

Aversion Fads

Aversion Fads

https://www.xkcd.com/471

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/471:_Aversion_Fads

[Two Cueball-like guys stand together as a young guy dressed up with small ears and a tail approaches.] Cueball: Oh God, a furry. Don't let it touch you. [The furry hears someone call out to him.] Off-screen: Hey, kid. [Megan is seen preparing a kite to be flown.] Megan: Forget those assholes. Come help me. [The furry begins to help Megan set up the kite.] Furry: Thanks. So you're cool with furries? [The two are now standing far apart, the furry with the kite and the line going over to Megan.] Megan: Well, I think your fetish is weird as hell. It just bothers me how you're this designated Internet punching bag among people who are otherwise down with weird fetishes. So I stick up for you when I can. [The kite is now successfully up in the air, and Megan pulls the line with both hands moving backwards.] Furry: Well, thanks. I owe you one. Megan: It's no big deal. [Megan stops some distance from the furry holding the line with one hand. The furry lifts one hand up apologizing.] Furry: No, this is like the lion and the mouse. Megan: ...Listen, can we pick a comparison less likely to turn you on? Furry: Sorry.

A " furry " is a person interested in anthropomorphic animal characters – fictional animal characters that, for example, walk and talk like humans. A common stereotype is that furries role-play their "fursona" ("furry" persona) by dressing up in animal costumes, as demonstrated by the furry in this comic. There are numerous other stereotypes as well, often of a sexual nature , so furries are frequently the target of criticism on the Internet. In this comic, Cueball and his Cueball-like friend encounter a furry, and react negatively according to the stereotype. In response, Megan kindly invites the furry to help with her kite. Megan explains that, while she too thinks furries are strange, she opposes the hypocritical treatment they disproportionately receive from others who are likely just as strange, and therefore defends furries, given the opportunity. The furry appreciates Megan's support, comparing it to Aesop 's fable of The Lion and the Mouse , in which a lion spares a mouse from being eaten; the lion later becomes caught in a trap, so the mouse repays the earlier favor by chewing through the cords of the trap to free the lion. This simile is meant as a genuine expression of gratitude and indebtedness from the furry, but the joke is that Megan rebukes this specific comparison, as she assumes the furry will be sexually aroused by the animal bondage in the story. In the title text, Megan asks if the furry has any hamster friends as potential passengers for her kite. She likely means a literal hamster – a rodent that would be small enough to fly on a kite. (This may be a reference to comic 20: Ferret , which also involves a small, flying mammal.) However, this being a furry, she could also mean a human with a hamster "fursona," although this would be too heavy to fly on a typical kite. [ citation needed ] [Two Cueball-like guys stand together as a young guy dressed up with small ears and a tail approaches.] Cueball: Oh God, a furry. Don't let it touch you. [The furry hears someone call out to him.] Off-screen: Hey, kid. [Megan is seen preparing a kite to be flown.] Megan: Forget those assholes. Come help me. [The furry begins to help Megan set up the kite.] Furry: Thanks. So you're cool with furries? [The two are now standing far apart, the furry with the kite and the line going over to Megan.] Megan: Well, I think your fetish is weird as hell. It just bothers me how you're this designated Internet punching bag among people who are otherwise down with weird fetishes. So I stick up for you when I can. [The kite is now successfully up in the air, and Megan pulls the line with both hands moving backwards.] Furry: Well, thanks. I owe you one. Megan: It's no big deal. [Megan stops some distance from the furry holding the line with one hand. The furry lifts one hand up apologizing.] Furry: No, this is like the lion and the mouse. Megan: ...Listen, can we pick a comparison less likely to turn you on? Furry: Sorry.

House of Pancakes

<span style="color: #0000ED">House</span> of Pancakes

https://www.xkcd.com/472

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/472:_House_of_Pancakes

[All instances of the word "House" are in blue.] [Every day a new city, a new IHOP. And yet every night the dreams get worse. I ply the highways, a nervous eye on the rear-view mirror, the back seat piled with stolen menus. Their doors are opened 24 hours, but forever closed to my soul. This is what my life has become. This is my hell.] [Sidenote left: International] House of Pancakes [Scribbled-out sidenote right: BLOGSPOT] Strawberry Banana Pancakes Four pancakes filled with sliced fresh banana and crowned with cool strawberry topping, more [17] bananas and [23] whipped topping. [17] Driven by a nameless fear, a whisper in the dark behind me, I flee ahead of I know not what. Whenver I turn, there's nobody behind me. And yet someone is clearly stealing the ketchup. WHY? (The footnote is covered in fingerprints.) [23] My life is feeding, fleeing, fighting, and forgetting. (The above note is sandwiched in sideways in between the Stuffed French Toast and Ham and Egg Melt.) [Rooty Jr. A kids only [19] version of our house signature Rooty Tooty. One scrambled egg, one strip of bacon, one pork sausage link and one fruit-topped buttermilk pancake.] [19] The decision not to hyphenate "kids only" is likely connected to the omission of the serial comma. I wonder if the author is British. I wonder if he sleeps at night. (The following passages are have a red substance underneath them, probably ketchup.) [Rise 'N Shine Two eggs, toast and hash browns served with your choice [21] of two strips of bacon or two pork sausage links.] [21] (illegible) rent a storage unit. Sleep there. Fill it with pancakes. Leave. [Stuffed French Toast Cinnamon raisin French [18] toast stuffed with sweet cream cheese filling, topped with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping.] [18] Nightmares again. I wake up covered in sweat, and what appears to be a thin sheen of maple syrup (Handwritten, underlined) WHO IS MOHAWK GIRL? [Slanted 90 degrees left] Ham & Egg Melt Grilled sourdough bread stuffed with ham, scrambled eggs, Swiss and American cheeses. [20] (At normal orientation) [20] Ordered this in at an IHOP in Rochester, New York. There was blood on the floor. Some of it was mine. (Comic strip) Enough with your pancakes. Enough with your GOD DAMN pancakes. [The Big Steak Omlette Tender strips of steak, hash browns, (redacted) tomatoes and Cheddar cheese. Served [22] with house salsa.] [22] Woke up in Las Vegas. They're closing the Star Trek Experience today. The IHOP up the strip had pancake platters named after various states. None of them sounded like home.

Randall is parodying Mark Z. Danielewski's epistolary novel House of Leaves by renaming it House of Pancakes (after the American fast food franchise International House of Pancakes ). House of Leaves has an unconventional page layout and style, including the colouring of every instance of the word "house" in blue, as is done on the menu. It includes footnotes within footnotes like Randall did here. In House of Leaves , protagonist Johnny Truant (whose meta-narration is marked by Courier font as mimicked in the comic) discovers a book called The Navidson Record (represented here by the pancake menu), which in turn details a film of the same name, which in turn details a horror story of a family living in a sentient house. Truant, who is clearly intelligent and cultured, probes deeper into notating The Navidson Record —and into insomnia—until The Navidson Record consumes his mind horrifically, the same way the film in the novel consumed the author of The Navidson Record , the same way the house in the novel consumed part of the family. House of Leaves lends itself to many interpretations, but has been called a "satire of academic criticism," which makes this comic essentially a satire of a satire. Since part of the appeal of House of Leaves is that it takes itself extremely seriously with its intricacy, multitude of both real and made-up references to academic and popular culture, and layered emotional conflict, Randall's reduction of the House of Leaves to the (International) House of Pancakes cuts a humorous edge to a dark story. The tone of the comic parodies the tone of House of Leaves : lonely, fear-inducing, and increasingly insane, but using pancakes instead of darkness. Additionally, the mysterious "Mohawk Girl" referred to in the comic may be a nod to the House of Leaves character Delial, or to comic 147 . The word "house" is in blue in every instance, which is a stylistic attribute of Mark Z. Danielewski's novel. Every Minotaur reference is marked out in red ink, and every use of "house" or a foreign language's equivalent, such as 'haus' and 'maison' is in blue. This is not a reference to hyperlinks. It is often thought that the house is printed in blue because houses have 'blueprints.' The censored portion of the Big Steak Omelette is "...fresh green peppers, onions, mushrooms,..." per IHOP's website for the Big Steak Omelette: "Tender and tasty strips of steak, hash browns, fresh green peppers, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes and Cheddar cheese." Also, Omelette is misspelled, but that's probably just a typo. The title text refers to the Waffle House , another US restaurant chain. The joke is that the protagonist has decided that maybe all this angst isn't worth it, and he'll just go to a different restaurant. Clicking on the original comic links to the amazon.com page for House of Leaves. [All instances of the word "House" are in blue.] [Every day a new city, a new IHOP. And yet every night the dreams get worse. I ply the highways, a nervous eye on the rear-view mirror, the back seat piled with stolen menus. Their doors are opened 24 hours, but forever closed to my soul. This is what my life has become. This is my hell.] [Sidenote left: International] House of Pancakes [Scribbled-out sidenote right: BLOGSPOT] Strawberry Banana Pancakes Four pancakes filled with sliced fresh banana and crowned with cool strawberry topping, more [17] bananas and [23] whipped topping. [17] Driven by a nameless fear, a whisper in the dark behind me, I flee ahead of I know not what. Whenver I turn, there's nobody behind me. And yet someone is clearly stealing the ketchup. WHY? (The footnote is covered in fingerprints.) [23] My life is feeding, fleeing, fighting, and forgetting. (The above note is sandwiched in sideways in between the Stuffed French Toast and Ham and Egg Melt.) [Rooty Jr. A kids only [19] version of our house signature Rooty Tooty. One scrambled egg, one strip of bacon, one pork sausage link and one fruit-topped buttermilk pancake.] [19] The decision not to hyphenate "kids only" is likely connected to the omission of the serial comma. I wonder if the author is British. I wonder if he sleeps at night. (The following passages are have a red substance underneath them, probably ketchup.) [Rise 'N Shine Two eggs, toast and hash browns served with your choice [21] of two strips of bacon or two pork sausage links.] [21] (illegible) rent a storage unit. Sleep there. Fill it with pancakes. Leave. [Stuffed French Toast Cinnamon raisin French [18] toast stuffed with sweet cream cheese filling, topped with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping.] [18] Nightmares again. I wake up covered in sweat, and what appears to be a thin sheen of maple syrup (Handwritten, underlined) WHO IS MOHAWK GIRL? [Slanted 90 degrees left] Ham & Egg Melt Grilled sourdough bread stuffed with ham, scrambled eggs, Swiss and American cheeses. [20] (At normal orientation) [20] Ordered this in at an IHOP in Rochester, New York. There was blood on the floor. Some of it was mine. (Comic strip) Enough with your pancakes. Enough with your GOD DAMN pancakes. [The Big Steak Omlette Tender strips of steak, hash browns, (redacted) tomatoes and Cheddar cheese. Served [22] with house salsa.] [22] Woke up in Las Vegas. They're closing the Star Trek Experience today. The IHOP up the strip had pancake platters named after various states. None of them sounded like home.

Still Raw

Still Raw

https://www.xkcd.com/473

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/473:_Still_Raw

[Cueball laying on sidewalk outside a house, surrounded by his belongings.] She threw me out yelling, "You don't say those words. Not in this house." It's been two years. I thought the wounds had healed. But I stand by what I said. Pluto never should have been a planet.

This comic shows Cueball and his significant other undergoing a domestic dispute. The debate is heated, enough to tear apart a romantic relationship, and although the end result is Cueball being thrown out of his other's house, he resolves that he will stand by his point of view no matter what. Of course, in the last panel, we learn that the argument is over something that should be, in the context of romance, utterly trivial: Cueball has been thrown out simply because he believes that Pluto should never have been a planet . Pluto was the ninth planet in our solar system between 1930 and 2006, during a time when "planet" had no formal definition. (Jupiter was thought to be the ninth planet from 1807 to 1845.) In 2006, the IAU created a formal definition for "planet"; Pluto didn't make the cut, and it was reclassified as a dwarf planet . The reasons are complicated , but the basic issue is that like Ceres , Pallas , Juno , and Vesta , Pluto is too small to function as a planet in the solar system. A better explanation can be found here. In the title text, the airplane/treadmill argument starts when someone asks whether an airplane can take off while it is on a treadmill that is opposing its progress (pulling it backward). The question usually leads to arguments because it is posed ambiguously. Properly defining the question shows that the airplane can indeed take off (because its forward motion is provided by its propeller/jet engine, not its wheels, which are free to spin at any speed) and experiments (such as Mythbusters') bear this out. Randall also takes a crack at the issue here , and more info can be found here . The statement about being wrong is likely a reference to 386: Duty Calls . [Cueball laying on sidewalk outside a house, surrounded by his belongings.] She threw me out yelling, "You don't say those words. Not in this house." It's been two years. I thought the wounds had healed. But I stand by what I said. Pluto never should have been a planet.

Turn-On

Turn-On

https://www.xkcd.com/474

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/474:_Turn-On

[Cueball walks up to Megan sitting at a bar.] Cueball: So, the LHC's turning on. This could be our last night on earth. [While Beret Guy as a bartender walks into the frame, Megan replies without turning.] Megan: Gimme a break. They're not even colliding yet, and it won't do anything cosmic rays haven't. [Cueball turns and walks away. But then Megan turns towards him and says:] Megan: Hey, I didn't say no. Megan: I'm a physics grad student. I need the excuse to party. [Cueball turns back and they talk:] Cueball: So, you're up for a night with a charming stranger? Megan: Depends. Top or bottom? Cueball: Hey, I haven't even bought you a drink. Megan: Barkeep, two whiskey sours, straight down.

This comic refers to the first startup (turn on) of CERN's Large Hadron Collider (LHC). There was a theoretical concern that that the LHC experiments could create a black hole that would suck in our planet. Cueball uses this concern when telling Megan that this could be their last night on Earth, but since the scene is in a bar, this is just another lame entry he uses because he just wants to spend the night with her. Megan answers as a physicist and explains that, first of all, they will not start colliding particles just because they actually turn on the collider. That will take a while, during which everything needs to be checked. Secondly, scientists have determined that the fears are unfounded — among other things because cosmic rays have already been bombarding the Earth with particles even more energetic than those created by the LHC. Thus, if the LHC could create a black hole that would suck up the Earth, then that would have happened long ago due to the cosmic rays. (At present time, the collider has been colliding particles for years, and if you read this line on or near Earth, then the Earth is still here; if you read it in a galaxy far away from the Milky Way, then it is somewhat more plausible that Earth may have been destroyed in the time that the signal took to reach you — although not necessarily by the LHC.) Cueball feels rejected by her answer and turns away to leave her, but she calls him back explaining very directly that she did not say "no" to his request (to try to stay a night with her). Also, as she is a physics grad student, she needs an excuse to party — the excuse being that the LHC is turned on. Cueball feels encouraged and continues his attempt to get her in to bed. But in his next sentence, he unwittingly uses three of the six quark flavors ( up quark , charm quark , and strange quark ). Megan continues to be very direct when asking if she has to be on top or bottom (when they are going to have sex). But this is also a sentence she chooses so she can continue using quark flavors ( top quark and bottom quark ). Cueball is flustered and complains that she is assuming too much, since he hasn't even bought her a drink yet. Megan then makes it even worse when she makes an order of two whiskey sours straight down — to use the final flavor ( down quark ). Maybe she just teases Cueball (with her knowledge about the LHC and quarks), or else she is actually so turned on by the LHC Turn-On that she wishes to have sex with Cueball as soon as possible. The quarks are some fundamental particles the LHC is generating. All six flavors of quarks are in the last panel: up, down, top, bottom, charm, and strange. They are also referenced in 1418: Horse , 1621: Fixion , and in 1731: Wrong , the latter also mentioning the up and down flavor. The mention of the drinks being served "straight down" is a reversal of the common bartending term "straight up," but there is no "straight down" in bartending. The title text is of course a very old joke " I 'ardly know 'er! " In this case, Supercollider (another name for the LHC) should be misunderstood as "(Did you) Supercollide her?", which you could put into a (nasty?) sexual context. Using this sentence at the wrong moment could be bad for a nice romance. This could be a reference to the Futurama episode " That's Lobstertainment! ," in which Humorbot 5.0 tells a similar supercollider joke. [Cueball walks up to Megan sitting at a bar.] Cueball: So, the LHC's turning on. This could be our last night on earth. [While Beret Guy as a bartender walks into the frame, Megan replies without turning.] Megan: Gimme a break. They're not even colliding yet, and it won't do anything cosmic rays haven't. [Cueball turns and walks away. But then Megan turns towards him and says:] Megan: Hey, I didn't say no. Megan: I'm a physics grad student. I need the excuse to party. [Cueball turns back and they talk:] Cueball: So, you're up for a night with a charming stranger? Megan: Depends. Top or bottom? Cueball: Hey, I haven't even bought you a drink. Megan: Barkeep, two whiskey sours, straight down.

Further Boomerang Difficulties

Further Boomerang Difficulties

https://www.xkcd.com/475

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/475:_Further_Boomerang_Difficulties

[Cueball is throwing a boomerang.] [Holding his hands up.] [Cueball waits for return; continual waiting.] [Cueball is dejected, head hangs low.] [Cueball throws a boomerang.] [Cueball waits for the boomerang.] Outside: Oh God Outside: The ozone layer! [Cueball is surprised.] [Cueball throws a boomerang-like banana.] [Cueball waits.] [Megan walks in.] Megan: That was our last banana. Megan: You're such an asshole. [Cueball throws a boomerang.] [The boomerang breaks out of the panel box.] [The boomerang breaks out of a spacecraft, followed by Cueball.]

This comic is a sequel of sorts to 445: I Am Not Good with Boomerangs , as it deals with the same subject manner with the same panel layout. The first strip shows Cueball throwing a boomerang, which doesn't come back. He looks downwards in the rightmost panel as if in shame. In 939: Arrow , a boomerang returns to Cueball, which can either be the same Cueball from this comic or another person. In the second strip, he throws another boomerang, which somehow manages to hurt the ozone layer (as indicated by an off-screen voice). This is of course not possible with a boomerang, as the ozone layer is a layer of O 3 molecules very high up in the atmosphere. [ citation needed ] The third strip shows Cueball throwing something that appears to be a boomerang, but then Megan enters and reveals that it was their last banana - which she probably had expected to eat since she calls him an asshole. The final strip shows Cueball throwing one last boomerang, which breaks the frame of the comic, already after two out of the four frames used in each of the first three strips. In the second panel, Cueball seems to be leaning backward in shock or terror. Then, panning down, we find the last panel, much larger and suddenly mainly black instead of white. It shows that this time he was actually inside a spacecraft (which resembles an Apollo Lunar Module in a very bad manner), and the boomerang has just broken out through the hull. We see the boomerang and Cueball tumbling out into space with the escaping air to certain death, revealing why Cueball was so taken aback when the boomerang broke through the frame. If you try to link up the rightmost panels, as what was suggested 445: I Am Not Good with Boomerangs to get a bonus comic strip, you get a bad story where Cueball is looking down, presumably in shame. Then a person (presumably Megan), screams about the ozone layer. We also see Megan call Cueball an asshole, probably because he had destroyed (or messed with) the ozone layer. The title text notes that, assuming a theory that is no longer generally accepted where the universe has a positive (closed) curvature and lots of mass, the boomerang would, after a (very) long time, hit Cueball in the back of his head. This would happen because under those conditions the entire universe would eventually fall back on itself in the Big Crunch . Before this happens, everything would again get pressed close together, and it is during this process that the boomerang would finally return to his frozen (but quite possibly preserved) head. (So at least one "success" in four attempts.) Boomerangs also became a main theme in the interactive comic 1350: Lorenz . The same format of multiple bad endings to the same starting set-up is used in 1515: Basketball Earth . [Cueball is throwing a boomerang.] [Holding his hands up.] [Cueball waits for return; continual waiting.] [Cueball is dejected, head hangs low.] [Cueball throws a boomerang.] [Cueball waits for the boomerang.] Outside: Oh God Outside: The ozone layer! [Cueball is surprised.] [Cueball throws a boomerang-like banana.] [Cueball waits.] [Megan walks in.] Megan: That was our last banana. Megan: You're such an asshole. [Cueball throws a boomerang.] [The boomerang breaks out of the panel box.] [The boomerang breaks out of a spacecraft, followed by Cueball.]

One-Sided

One-Sided

https://www.xkcd.com/476

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/476:_One-Sided

[Caption above the panel:] Sometimes my conversations with strangers go on for a while before I realize that they're talking on their phones. [To the right above a graph, Cueball is standing next to a Cueball-like guy with a backpack.] Guy with backpack: Hi! Cueball: Hi. Guy with backpack: What's up? Cueball: Uh, not a lot... Guy with backpack: Shit. Does Bernanke own a crossbow? [To the left and below these two guys is a graph with the axis labelled. The graph looks parabolic towards the left-hand side, but as x approaches infinity, y approaches zero. A vertical dashed line runs through the graph, slightly to the right of the peak of the graph. To the right of the dashed line, there is an arrow pointing to the right that is labelled. The x-axis has a broken scale, and to the right of the break, there is a very small increase in the graph that is parenthetically labelled with a small arrow.] Y-axis: How Often This Happens X-axis: Length of conversation Arrow: Awkward Zone Small arrow: (My Second Relationship)

The comic refers to the phenomenon of hearing half a conversation from a stranger on a cell phone and, not noticing the cell phone, imagining that that person is talking to you and responding in kind. The chart gives a plot of the frequency that this occurs (for Randall here represented by the Cueball to the left) against the amount of time that passes before the error is discovered. It also implies that Randall's second relationship was in reality just a particularly long instance of this occurrence, suggesting that his 'girlfriend' wasn't even aware of the relationship. The title text is the continuation of the phone call, which involves a fictional conspiracy involving the then Chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke and a crossbow . On September 23, about a week after this comic, Randall posted a short story to his blog, featuring Ben Bernanke breaking into the Federal Reserve building with a crossbow. [Caption above the panel:] Sometimes my conversations with strangers go on for a while before I realize that they're talking on their phones. [To the right above a graph, Cueball is standing next to a Cueball-like guy with a backpack.] Guy with backpack: Hi! Cueball: Hi. Guy with backpack: What's up? Cueball: Uh, not a lot... Guy with backpack: Shit. Does Bernanke own a crossbow? [To the left and below these two guys is a graph with the axis labelled. The graph looks parabolic towards the left-hand side, but as x approaches infinity, y approaches zero. A vertical dashed line runs through the graph, slightly to the right of the peak of the graph. To the right of the dashed line, there is an arrow pointing to the right that is labelled. The x-axis has a broken scale, and to the right of the break, there is a very small increase in the graph that is parenthetically labelled with a small arrow.] Y-axis: How Often This Happens X-axis: Length of conversation Arrow: Awkward Zone Small arrow: (My Second Relationship)

Typewriter

Typewriter

https://www.xkcd.com/477

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/477:_Typewriter

[A typewriter is shown with the following letter in it:] [Caption below the panel:] I didn't realize how bad my habit of tabbing to Firefox every few seconds to check news sites had gotten until I tried writing on a typewriter.

Randall is writing a letter to his grandmother on a typewriter, thanking her for taking him and at least one other person on a trip. However, due to a habit he's developed from using a computer for so long, Randall inadvertently litters the letter with chunks of blank space followed by website URLs. As if through muscle memory, Randall periodically attempts to check the latest news by pressing a combination involving the Tab key, typing the URL of a specific website, then pressing a combination using the Tab key again. On a computer, the Ctrl+Tab keyboard combination usually switches to between browser tabs within a window, such as between two Firefox tabs, while Alt+Tab switches between windows. However, there is only a simple Tab key on an old-fashioned typewriter. Pressing Tab there doesn't switch to another screen, it just moves the platen (the typewriter's cursor, so to speak) to the next tab stop, leaving a wide space before the next typing on the same piece of paper. So the key combination that would satisfy Randall's somewhat hyperactive impulses on a computer is dramatically different on a typewriter, where that key instead causes movement of the platen. So, he hits the tab key, types a URL, and hits the tab key again right in the middle of his letter. It also shows Randall's love of news and information websites. The title text references that Randall's real grandmothers, upon seeing this comic, might feel bad that he doesn't write to them at all — not even poorly-written letters like in the comic. To remedy this, he writes a brief thank you note to his grandmothers... which also includes one Ctrl/Alt+Tab combination. [A typewriter is shown with the following letter in it:] [Caption below the panel:] I didn't realize how bad my habit of tabbing to Firefox every few seconds to check news sites had gotten until I tried writing on a typewriter.

The Staple Madness

The Staple Madness

https://www.xkcd.com/478

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/478:_The_Staple_Madness

[Beret Guy and Cueball standing.] Beret Guy: [holding up a staple gun] I found Megan's staple gun! Cueball: [facepalming] Oh no. [Beret Guy kneeling over a laptop on the floor.] Cueball: [from outside panel] Oh God, what are you-- Beret Guy: [stapling a DVD to the laptop] Installing Debian! kaCHUNK [Beret Guy standing over a table.] Beret Guy: [stapling a sandwich together] Sandwiches! kaCHUNK kaCHUNK [Beret Guy running with the staple gun.] Beret Guy: Must affix everything to everything! [Unframed panel.] kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK [Megan enters, holding a tote bag.] Megan: ...Have you been abusing my staple gun? Beret Guy: No. God: [as voice from above] YES!

Optimistic Beret Guy can never take life seriously. He loves to play with everything, and nothing is more exciting than a tool that sticks things together with an impressive kaCHUNK sound when he pulls the trigger, even on things that (definitely) shouldn't be stapled. Installing Debian is a pun on the installation of software, and the installation of real life things by attaching them to things. This comic may reference an engineering truism describing a similar scenario: "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." The truism's actual meaning refers to the scenario where when a novice has only learned to use one tool (such as one programming language), they may attempt to solve all problems using only that tool, which may end badly. This saying is referred to explicitly in 801: Golden Hammer . From just reading the comic by itself, one may presume that in the last panel, Cueball has been stapled to the ceiling (as obvious evidence to Megan that Beret Guy has indeed been abusing her staple gun). According to the comic's official transcript , however, it is in fact God who is speaking. Due to Beret Guy's strange powers, it is rather likely that God has been stapled as well -- perhaps to the ceiling. Duct tape , thanks to its combination of tensile and adhesive strength, is commonly regarded as the ultimate do-it-yourself repair tool. Like a staple gun, it can also be used to stick things together. Although it does make a nice sound when pulling a strip out quickly, it does not make a loud kaCHUNK sound upon fixing two objects together. In 291: Dignified , Beret Guy hangs upside down and says (in the title text) that he has stapled his hat to his head to make it stay on. That may very well have been the inspiration for this comic. This was the fourth time the name Megan was used in xkcd, the first time being in 159: Boombox . [Beret Guy and Cueball standing.] Beret Guy: [holding up a staple gun] I found Megan's staple gun! Cueball: [facepalming] Oh no. [Beret Guy kneeling over a laptop on the floor.] Cueball: [from outside panel] Oh God, what are you-- Beret Guy: [stapling a DVD to the laptop] Installing Debian! kaCHUNK [Beret Guy standing over a table.] Beret Guy: [stapling a sandwich together] Sandwiches! kaCHUNK kaCHUNK [Beret Guy running with the staple gun.] Beret Guy: Must affix everything to everything! [Unframed panel.] kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK kaCHUNK [Megan enters, holding a tote bag.] Megan: ...Have you been abusing my staple gun? Beret Guy: No. God: [as voice from above] YES!

Tones

Tones

https://www.xkcd.com/479

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/479:_Tones

[Cueball is standing in a room next to a round table, looking out a window. A blue and orange sunset is visible outside the window. There is a phone on the table. The text of the comic is in boxes, two for each panel. Cueball is not talking, but rather narrating in these boxes.] Narrator: I haven't lived a perfect life. Narrator: Made plenty of mistakes. Got my share of regrets. [Zooming in on Cueball and the table with the phone, window with colored sky still visible to the left.] Narrator: But there's one thing of which I'm proud. Narrator: One stand on which I've never wavered. [Zooms in on the cell phone on the table, Cueball and window outside the panel.] Narrator: When someone calls my phone, Narrator: it makes a goddamn ringing sound.

Cellular phone users can set nearly anything as their ringtone ; even the default rings on new phones are a short string of notes put together, and serve a dual purpose as a company's trademark. Cueball is saying that there's one thing in his life he's never compromised on: When someone calls his phone, it makes a ringing sound. Of course, this is a rather minor thing on which to make a stand. The comic also seems to begin very seriously, and thus the comic relief is provided by the turn to the inconsequential; this is mirrored in the zooming-in to the cell phone. To continue the comic's theme of Cueball-as-crochety-old-man, the title text says that he needs a lawn, so he can yell at kids to stay off of it — a stereotypical "old man" behavior . Randall makes another complaint about ringtones in 2272: Ringtone Timeline . [Cueball is standing in a room next to a round table, looking out a window. A blue and orange sunset is visible outside the window. There is a phone on the table. The text of the comic is in boxes, two for each panel. Cueball is not talking, but rather narrating in these boxes.] Narrator: I haven't lived a perfect life. Narrator: Made plenty of mistakes. Got my share of regrets. [Zooming in on Cueball and the table with the phone, window with colored sky still visible to the left.] Narrator: But there's one thing of which I'm proud. Narrator: One stand on which I've never wavered. [Zooms in on the cell phone on the table, Cueball and window outside the panel.] Narrator: When someone calls my phone, Narrator: it makes a goddamn ringing sound.

Spore

Spore

https://www.xkcd.com/480

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/480:_Spore

[Cueball sitting at computer desk, surrounded by game boxes.] Cueball: Sweet, beat Populous . Now, on to Alpha Centauri . Until I can afford Spore , I'm just playing through all my old games in order of scale.

Spore is a game that was released in 2008. Spore starts you off as a small little water bug, and when you become smart enough, you leave the water for land and start growing. To begin with, the scale of your interest is thus very small as you are only concerned with your spot of water. During the next two stages, the scale grows to being the entire continent. Once you start building cities, you get to view the entire planet. The last stage (and scale) is space, where you get to first travel through your own solar system, then the entire galaxy. Cueball runs into a common gamer's problem, that being an inability (or unwillingness) to purchase a game on its release date due to the initial price. Since Cueball can't yet afford Spore , he instead is recreating the experience by playing older games, starting off with small scale games. In the comic, Cueball had just beaten the game Populous , which is on a planet scale, so now he can go on to the interstellar scale with the game Alpha Centauri . The following three games could, for instance, have been played before the ones mentioned: SimAnt (ant scale), then moving up to The Sims (human scale), and then proceeding with SimCity (city scale). The title text refers to the game not being able to run on the Mac using a GMA 950 , which is a type of Intel integrated graphics processor. It was first supported in OSX 10.4. It lacked hardware support for vertex shader 2.0, which some games required. [Cueball sitting at computer desk, surrounded by game boxes.] Cueball: Sweet, beat Populous . Now, on to Alpha Centauri . Until I can afford Spore , I'm just playing through all my old games in order of scale.

Listen to Yourself

Listen to Yourself

https://www.xkcd.com/481

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/481:_Listen_to_Yourself

[Black Hat approaches Danish typing at a computer.] Black Hat: What are you writing? Danish: Virus. Black Hat: What's it do? Danish: When someone tries to post a YouTube comment, it first reads it aloud back to them. Soon, everywhere: [Cueball is commenting on YouTube with a laptop.] type type type [Youtube comment is read back.] Cueball: ...I'm a moron. [Cueball leaves desk and partially closes his laptop.] [Cueball is seen sitting on steps, depressed.] [Cueball has his head in his hands.] Cueball: I... I didn't know.

YouTube is a website for video sharing where anyone can upload and view videos. It is notorious for having some of the most ridiculous, hateful, mean-spirited, nonsensical comments of any mainstream website (a reputation touched upon earlier in 202: YouTube ). Danish tells Black Hat that her computer virus that she is writing reads a YouTube user's comments back to them before it is submitted. Upon hearing their own ridiculous comments read aloud to them, they will realize the stupidity of it and not submit the comment. YouTube later made this a real feature, although it has since been removed again. The title text is in reference to a post left on the Yahoo! Answers website in 2006 by a submitter known as "kavya," who asks "how is babby formed / how girl get pragnent." The post picked up internet popularity and spawned several flash animations. This was again mentioned in 522: Google Trends and in 550: Density . [Black Hat approaches Danish typing at a computer.] Black Hat: What are you writing? Danish: Virus. Black Hat: What's it do? Danish: When someone tries to post a YouTube comment, it first reads it aloud back to them. Soon, everywhere: [Cueball is commenting on YouTube with a laptop.] type type type [Youtube comment is read back.] Cueball: ...I'm a moron. [Cueball leaves desk and partially closes his laptop.] [Cueball is seen sitting on steps, depressed.] [Cueball has his head in his hands.] Cueball: I... I didn't know.

Height

Height

https://www.xkcd.com/482

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/482:_Height

Top of observable universe [Black Hat is standing on top, throwing a black kitty down.] Black Cat: Mrowl! [Map of the universe from observable universe to Earth. Each area of item is labeled. Labels left to right, up to down:] (46 billion light years up) Hubble Deep Field Objects -One billion light years- Great Attractor Antennae Galaxies (colliding) Andromeda Holy crap lots of space -One million light years- Magellanic Clouds Edge of galaxy Galactic center Crab Nebula Orion Nebula Horsehead Nebula Romulan neutral zone The Pleiades, duh! Rigel Betelgeuse Ford Prefect [Three arrows are pointing up above three lines with the following label:] -Expanding shell of radio transmissions- [Above a dotted line:] Edge of federation sector 0-0-1 Pollux Arcturus Missing WMDs Sirius Barnard's Star Alpha Centauri -One parsec- -One light year- Oort Cloud (?) Bupkis Comet which will destroy Earth in late 2063 Pioneer 10 Voyager I Eris (All hail Discordia!) Pluto (Not a planet. Neener neener.) Neptune Uranus Saturn [Two arrows point to two moons, one next to each of the planets above and below.] <-- Life --> Jupiter Asteroids Mars Venus Sun Mercury Spaceship Planet Express: Hey, a heaping bowl of salt! Spaceship Discovery One: Open the fridge door, Hal. Moon Human altitude record (Apollo 13) 2nd place: Snoop Dogg Space elevator - One of these days, promise! Geosynchronous Orbit GPS satellites Lunar lander: In retrospect, they shouldn't have sent a poet. I have no idea how to land. International Space Station Space junk -Official edge of space (100 km)- Meteors -1/10 ATM- High altitude balloons Airliners Shuttle Columbia lost -1/2 ATM- Cory Doctrow Everest Helicopters (6000 m) Cueball: Woo Python! [A vertical scale is drawn along the right side of the picture, starting at 1 km and getting progressivly smaller and smaller.] 1 km -800 m- Burj Dubai (~800 m) 500 400 Eiffel Tower (325 m) 200 Kites Great Pyramid (140 m) Pop fly Redwood (115 m) 100m Oak (20 m) A person in the oak: Hey squirrels! Tallest stilts Brachiosaur (13 m) Giraffe (8 m) [Megan and Cueball holding the kite are labeled:] Folks The observable universe, from top to bottom ~On a log scale~ Sizes are not to scale, but heights above the Earth's surface are accurate on a log scale. (That is, each step up is double the height.)

Height uses a logarithmic scale to depict the contents of the universe at progressively smaller distances from Earth (less high above the Earth), starting at the highest possible "point," the edge of the observable universe , going all the way down to the grass beneath our feet. The comic is a direct companion piece to 485: Depth , also released on a Monday the week after this one. Depth similarly uses the logarithmic scale to depict the Earth at progressively greater magnification (going "deeper" down), from Earth's surface (the grass) to the interior of a single proton. The very top (edge) of the observable universe is described as being 46 billion light years above the Earth. The universe is "only" about 13.8 billion years old , so the cosmic background radiation that reaches the Earth today has also only traveled 13.8 billion light years. However, during that time, the universe has expanded , so the galaxies that formed from that spot where this background radiation was emitted 13.8 billion years ago would now be 46 billion light years away. This has led to many misconceptions regarding the size , the most typical being that the radius of the observable universe is "only" 13.8 billion light years. See this video, How Do You Measure the Size of the Universe? , for a great explanation of the 46 billion light years. To the right of the text, Black Hat stands atop the comic, having just dropped a cat off the edge head first; he is clearly going to test if the cat will land on its feet, being a jerk per his usual character. It will take some time, though, before the cat reaches Earth.... As one scrolls down, the depicted distances become less compressed, until arriving at the surface of Earth, all the while approaching a 1:1 scale with real-life distances. As shown in 1162: Log Scale , if Randall didn't do this, the comic would be much, MUCH longer. In this comic, most objects that are grounded on Earth are scaled logarithmically on the vertical axes and linearly on the horizontal axes (some are scaled linearly on both axes). Displaying objects in this manner noticeably distorts their shape; the Great Pyramid, for instance, looks not like a pyramid but like a bullet. Outside of the Earth's atmosphere, the objects are placed at their actual distances from Earth on the log scale, but their shapes are not subjected to the logarithmic scaling of Earth objects, instead appearing as they would be seen (otherwise, round objects like the sun would appear more egg shaped, with the flatter side facing upward). However, objects are still much larger or much smaller than they would be in real life, in order to allow them to be properly seen. In the title text, Randall muses on how the inwardly-curved sides of the Eiffel Tower might actually become perfectly straightened when subjected to this logarithmic distortion. Although it is shown to bulge in the comic proper, this may be a consequence of Randall's rough art style rather than any reflection of his beliefs. The actual shape of the Tower approximates an exponential curve , which would indeed give a straight line on a log scale, although it was actually designed by Gustave Eiffel to minimize wind resistance rather than to be mathematically exact (the design is so perfect that the amount the Tower sways in the wind is less than the amount it is distorted due to thermal expansion of the sunlit side). All objects are sorted from bottom to top by their maximum distance from earth for objects in a solar orbit, and their current distance for others. Top of observable universe [Black Hat is standing on top, throwing a black kitty down.] Black Cat: Mrowl! [Map of the universe from observable universe to Earth. Each area of item is labeled. Labels left to right, up to down:] (46 billion light years up) Hubble Deep Field Objects -One billion light years- Great Attractor Antennae Galaxies (colliding) Andromeda Holy crap lots of space -One million light years- Magellanic Clouds Edge of galaxy Galactic center Crab Nebula Orion Nebula Horsehead Nebula Romulan neutral zone The Pleiades, duh! Rigel Betelgeuse Ford Prefect [Three arrows are pointing up above three lines with the following label:] -Expanding shell of radio transmissions- [Above a dotted line:] Edge of federation sector 0-0-1 Pollux Arcturus Missing WMDs Sirius Barnard's Star Alpha Centauri -One parsec- -One light year- Oort Cloud (?) Bupkis Comet which will destroy Earth in late 2063 Pioneer 10 Voyager I Eris (All hail Discordia!) Pluto (Not a planet. Neener neener.) Neptune Uranus Saturn [Two arrows point to two moons, one next to each of the planets above and below.] <-- Life --> Jupiter Asteroids Mars Venus Sun Mercury Spaceship Planet Express: Hey, a heaping bowl of salt! Spaceship Discovery One: Open the fridge door, Hal. Moon Human altitude record (Apollo 13) 2nd place: Snoop Dogg Space elevator - One of these days, promise! Geosynchronous Orbit GPS satellites Lunar lander: In retrospect, they shouldn't have sent a poet. I have no idea how to land. International Space Station Space junk -Official edge of space (100 km)- Meteors -1/10 ATM- High altitude balloons Airliners Shuttle Columbia lost -1/2 ATM- Cory Doctrow Everest Helicopters (6000 m) Cueball: Woo Python! [A vertical scale is drawn along the right side of the picture, starting at 1 km and getting progressivly smaller and smaller.] 1 km -800 m- Burj Dubai (~800 m) 500 400 Eiffel Tower (325 m) 200 Kites Great Pyramid (140 m) Pop fly Redwood (115 m) 100m Oak (20 m) A person in the oak: Hey squirrels! Tallest stilts Brachiosaur (13 m) Giraffe (8 m) [Megan and Cueball holding the kite are labeled:] Folks The observable universe, from top to bottom ~On a log scale~ Sizes are not to scale, but heights above the Earth's surface are accurate on a log scale. (That is, each step up is double the height.)

Fiction Rule of Thumb

Fiction Rule of Thumb

https://www.xkcd.com/483

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/483:_Fiction_Rule_of_Thumb

[Line graph shown with an inverse curve.] [Y-Axis: Probability book is good.] [X-Axis: Number of words made up by author.] [The curve becomes less steep as the number of words increases.] "The Elders, or Fra'as, guarded the farmlings (children) with their krytoses, which are like swords but awesomer ..."

Randall uses a graph that purports that the more words an author makes up, the less likely their book is any good. To demonstrate this, he provides an example where a hypothetical author uses three made-up words in a single sentence: "Fra'as", "Farmlings", and "Krytoses". The author clearly does not see that having to insert explanations of all the made-up words makes the sentence extremely clumsy. The title text declares that the average author is allowed five invented words per book before this rule is invoked against them, but mentions that J.R.R. Tolkien and Lewis Carroll are exceptions, as they are both very famous, well-respected writers who made words up all the time . Randall also makes a dig at Anathem , a speculative fiction novel by Neal Stephenson about a monastic order on another planet that studies science, mathematics, and philosophy. The book is noteworthy for having a very large number of made-up or repurposed words, enough to require its own glossary. One of the more common fake words is fraa (without an apostrophe). [Line graph shown with an inverse curve.] [Y-Axis: Probability book is good.] [X-Axis: Number of words made up by author.] [The curve becomes less steep as the number of words increases.] "The Elders, or Fra'as, guarded the farmlings (children) with their krytoses, which are like swords but awesomer ..."

Flash Games

Flash Games

https://www.xkcd.com/484

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/484:_Flash_Games

[On the left side of the panel are a massive TV screen, large speakers, and similar devices, all connected to a "Game Station 20,000" console. Cueball, however, is over on the right side of the panel, on a modestly-sized computer.] Cueball: Ooh, I think I've got it figured out! Okay, one more hour. Beep Plunk The most powerful gaming systems in the world still can't match the addictiveness of tiny in-browser Flash games.

Dedicated hardcore gamers will often indulge in expensive, top-of-the-line equipment to get the most out of their video games. Adobe Flash was a software platform allowing multimedia applications in the browser. Flash became a popular choice for game developers, since playing Flash games only requires a browser and the free cross-platform Flash runtime environment. Randall was right that Flash games are quite addictive, and gamers would have found them more engaging than anything that runs on expensive (dedicated) gaming systems. Nowadays, years after the making of this comic, Flash has been completely phased out by modern browsers in favor of HTML5 + JavaScript . The open-source movement especially prefers the latter, since no proprietary browser plugins are needed to run it. That said, the sheer number of Flash games that have been made over the last decade means that Flash will likely hold a special place in many gamers' hearts for the foreseeable future, to the point where "Flash game" has become a catch-all term for any browser game . The comic may also be commenting that some modern games are too focused on graphics and not enough on gameplay. The title text mentions the Wiimote , the standard controller for the Nintendo Wii video game console. Wii games are usually controlled by tracking the movement and orientation of the handheld Wiimote, but Johnny Lee devised a method to use a Wiimote to track the position of the users head and demonstrated this with a desktop VR display . It should be noted that this is not the same as the body tracking that is available from Sony and Microsoft with the EyeToy and Kinect respectively, neither of which has earned any real praise as a practical gaming controller. [On the left side of the panel are a massive TV screen, large speakers, and similar devices, all connected to a "Game Station 20,000" console. Cueball, however, is over on the right side of the panel, on a modestly-sized computer.] Cueball: Ooh, I think I've got it figured out! Okay, one more hour. Beep Plunk The most powerful gaming systems in the world still can't match the addictiveness of tiny in-browser Flash games.

Depth

Depth

https://www.xkcd.com/485

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/485:_Depth

Sizes Accurate on a vertical log scale [Series of images of characters doing various things. The things they are doing are listed in left to right order.] Cueball and Megan playing in a ball pen Megan using witchcraft to ban vista "Out, Vista!" Ponytail and Megan play Rock Band A couple is having sex under the cover in bed. [Below this series of images, an image of a man on the computer.] Cueball is on a computer and the image expands as it goes down. Here are the labels from left to right, up to down: CD DVD Case North Bridge PS/2 Mouse (rodent) RAM CPU Socket Pin 32,767 Angels Dancing (one more and they'd roll over and become 32,768 Devils ), Rice, Torrent (a bug), CPU, upcoming segfault dust mite hair OVUM Data (a pixel on Rick Astley's shoulder), rust mite, fork(); Peter Norton fighting a baxteriophage memory carbon nanotubes space elevator a line of silicon (Si), Electron Cloud, a man made out of arrows saying "sup?" silicon nucleus IPod femto Brian Greene knitting furiously [next to his knitting needles there is text saying clink, clink ]

The comic is a companion piece to 482: Height , which explored a logarithmic scale from the edge of the observable universe down to the Earth's surface. Depth continues the process, viewing logarithmically smaller scales from Earth's atmosphere down to the interior of a single proton . This combination is reminiscent of Charles and Ray Eames' 1977 short film Powers of Ten . Here's a walk through the entire comic: Sizes Accurate on a vertical log scale [Series of images of characters doing various things. The things they are doing are listed in left to right order.] Cueball and Megan playing in a ball pen Megan using witchcraft to ban vista "Out, Vista!" Ponytail and Megan play Rock Band A couple is having sex under the cover in bed. [Below this series of images, an image of a man on the computer.] Cueball is on a computer and the image expands as it goes down. Here are the labels from left to right, up to down: CD DVD Case North Bridge PS/2 Mouse (rodent) RAM CPU Socket Pin 32,767 Angels Dancing (one more and they'd roll over and become 32,768 Devils ), Rice, Torrent (a bug), CPU, upcoming segfault dust mite hair OVUM Data (a pixel on Rick Astley's shoulder), rust mite, fork(); Peter Norton fighting a baxteriophage memory carbon nanotubes space elevator a line of silicon (Si), Electron Cloud, a man made out of arrows saying "sup?" silicon nucleus IPod femto Brian Greene knitting furiously [next to his knitting needles there is text saying clink, clink ]

I am Not a Ninja

I am Not a Ninja

https://www.xkcd.com/486

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/486:_I_am_Not_a_Ninja

[Cueball and Megan facing each other in the same panel.] Megan: We need to talk. [Cueball turns to look behind him; panel pans back to show a (closed) window on the wall.] [Cueball throws a smoke grenade to the floor.] POW [Grenade fizzles and begins to emit smoke; Cueball and Megan both look down at it.] sssss [Smoke cloud expands very slightly. Megan puts her hand to her face.] cough [The smoke detector alarm above them starts beeping. Both look up.] BEEP BEE- [Cueball and Megan look down at the grenade again. The alarm is still beeping.] -P BEEP BEEP BEEP BE- [Cueball slowly backs away. The alarm is still beeping.] -EP BEEP BEEP BEEP B- [Cueball unsuccessfully tries to open the apparently locked window. The alarm is still beeping.] Rattle rattle -BEEP BEEP- [Panel pans back to the full view. Cueball looks back at Megan, who is now face-palming. The alarm is still beeping.] -BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP B- [Megan turns and walks away. Cueball looks at the window. The alarm is still beeping.] -EEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-

In a romantic relationship, some of the most horrifying words are arguably "We need to talk." They often stereotypically signal the beginning of a conversation that the speaker knows will cause the listener to become upset. In this comic, Cueball is so horrified by hearing those words that he tries the ol' " ninja smoke vanish " technique, only to have it fail miserably when the pellet provides insufficient visual cover to perform the trick, yet still sets off the smoke detector, and then he can't get the window open to either leave the scene or just clear the less than useful cloud. Megan simply facepalms and leaves. The title text jokes that Megan simply wanted to talk to Cueball about his poor smoke-bomb techniques. Arguably, then, this instance was actually a qualified success in issue avoidance. He continued to keep smoke bombs on his person for situations such as these as seen in the title text of 1712: Politifact . [Cueball and Megan facing each other in the same panel.] Megan: We need to talk. [Cueball turns to look behind him; panel pans back to show a (closed) window on the wall.] [Cueball throws a smoke grenade to the floor.] POW [Grenade fizzles and begins to emit smoke; Cueball and Megan both look down at it.] sssss [Smoke cloud expands very slightly. Megan puts her hand to her face.] cough [The smoke detector alarm above them starts beeping. Both look up.] BEEP BEE- [Cueball and Megan look down at the grenade again. The alarm is still beeping.] -P BEEP BEEP BEEP BE- [Cueball slowly backs away. The alarm is still beeping.] -EP BEEP BEEP BEEP B- [Cueball unsuccessfully tries to open the apparently locked window. The alarm is still beeping.] Rattle rattle -BEEP BEEP- [Panel pans back to the full view. Cueball looks back at Megan, who is now face-palming. The alarm is still beeping.] -BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP B- [Megan turns and walks away. Cueball looks at the window. The alarm is still beeping.] -EEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-

Numerical Sex Positions

Numerical Sex Positions

https://www.xkcd.com/487

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/487:_Numerical_Sex_Positions

xkcd presents a guide to numerical sex positions: Narrator: 69 [Cueball and Megan perform a standing sixty-nine position i.e. mutual oral sex.] Narrator: 99 [Cueball and Megan perform a standing spooning position.] Narrator: 71 [Megan is bent over a table and Cueball takes her doggy-style.] Narrator: 34 [Cueball looks at Megan, who is standing on one leg with her arms out.] Cueball: Uh. Narrator: √ 8 [Cueball and Megan are staring at each other.] Narrator: Guys? Narrator: ln(2π) [Cueball just stands there while Megan is walking away.] Narrator: Aww, c'mon...

Sex positions are positions that two people can have sexual intercourse in. Many of them are named, although only one generally accepted position is named after a number: the 69 . Cueball and Megan try to approximate the shapes of the numbers, which they are given by the narrator, as sex positions. They start with the classic 69, then represent the number 99 as "spooning" while standing and the number 71 as "doggy-style" sex over a table. They are then given ever more difficult numbers to attempt, first 34 (maybe referencing rule 34 of the internet ) - Cueball exclaims Uh as he has no idea how to make a 3 (maybe he's supposed to curl up in a fetal position), although Megan does try (in vain) to form a 4. Then they are completely baffled by √8 (AKA 2√2 or ≈ 2.82842712475) (presumably one of them is to contort into a figure-eight shape while the other lies on top), and just stand there while the narrator asks Guys? - as in give it a try. And finally, Megan gives up and leaves at the suggestion ln (2 π ) (or ≈ 1.83787706641) to the frustration of the narrator, who exclaims Aww, c'mon . The narrator is so frustrated, as we are told in the title text, because he did not even get to ask them to do a continued fraction (which likely would have involved many other people) as the ultimate challenge. xkcd presents a guide to numerical sex positions: Narrator: 69 [Cueball and Megan perform a standing sixty-nine position i.e. mutual oral sex.] Narrator: 99 [Cueball and Megan perform a standing spooning position.] Narrator: 71 [Megan is bent over a table and Cueball takes her doggy-style.] Narrator: 34 [Cueball looks at Megan, who is standing on one leg with her arms out.] Cueball: Uh. Narrator: √ 8 [Cueball and Megan are staring at each other.] Narrator: Guys? Narrator: ln(2π) [Cueball just stands there while Megan is walking away.] Narrator: Aww, c'mon...

Steal This Comic

Steal This Comic

https://www.xkcd.com/488

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/488:_Steal_This_Comic

Black Hat: Thinking of buying from audible.com or iTunes? Black Hat: Remember, if you pirate something, it's yours for life. You can take it anywhere and it will always work. [There is a flowchart whose paths are (You're a Criminal)<-Pirate<-(Buy or Pirate)->Buy->(Things Change)->(You Try to Recover Your Collection)->(You're a Criminal)] Black Hat: But if you buy DRM-locked media, and you ever switch operating systems or new technology comes along, your collection could be lost. Black Hat: And if you try to keep it, you'll be a criminal ( DMCA 1201 ). Black Hat: So remember: if you want a collection you can count on, PIRATE IT. Black Hat: Hey, you'll be a criminal either way. (If you don't like this, demand DRM-free files)

DRM , an acronym standing for Digital Rights Management, is a recent anti-piracy mechanism that is used to prevent unapproved or unintended use of software programs. Examples would be a requirement to play a video game while online (where the servers can validate that the game has not been hacked) or allowing only a limited amount of installations to ensure that different users are buying the program for themselves instead of sharing it. The problem is that there are ways that DRM can be restrictive even upon legal situations. Someone may simply want to play the game in an area where there is no Internet connection, or they may have exceeded the amount of allowed installs due to installation problems or hardware malfunctions requiring the purchase of new hardware. In the audio situation described in the comic, one could not, say, transfer an audiobook or song from an iPod to a Blackberry phone, because Apple does not allow files on its operating system to be used on ones from other companies. For this reason, DRM has also been referred to derisively as "Digital Restrictions Management" . Black Hat uses a flow chart to propose two paths: Since both situations have you end up being a criminal, Black Hat proposes taking the pirate path, which leaves you with a collection of dependable audio for free. In the title-text, Randall gives an anecdote of how ridiculous it was to obtain an audiobook legally, and how all of his other legally-obtained music has been lost, as the flow chart predicts. In light of this, he proposes another option: demanding DRM-free files. It's worth noting that there are other methods of listening to music legally that avoid the problems presented in the comic: The title is a reference to the "Piracy is a Crime" ad campaign, as well as a 1970 pro-anarchy book called Steal This Book . There is also some underlying humour: since xkcd is under a Creative Commons license , you cannot "steal" the comic, since Randall specifically allowed the comic to be shared. It could also be a reference to Don't Download This Song , a "Weird Al" Yankovic song that amusingly deals with audio piracy. A note on the site says that Amazon sells DRM-free music files. Since this comic was written, iTunes has also stopped using DRM on music, though it still protects apps, e-books, and videos. This comic is not applicable to some countries, such as Canada, where copyright infringement is purely a civil matter and is not a criminal offense. Black Hat: Thinking of buying from audible.com or iTunes? Black Hat: Remember, if you pirate something, it's yours for life. You can take it anywhere and it will always work. [There is a flowchart whose paths are (You're a Criminal)<-Pirate<-(Buy or Pirate)->Buy->(Things Change)->(You Try to Recover Your Collection)->(You're a Criminal)] Black Hat: But if you buy DRM-locked media, and you ever switch operating systems or new technology comes along, your collection could be lost. Black Hat: And if you try to keep it, you'll be a criminal ( DMCA 1201 ). Black Hat: So remember: if you want a collection you can count on, PIRATE IT. Black Hat: Hey, you'll be a criminal either way. (If you don't like this, demand DRM-free files)

Going West

Going West

https://www.xkcd.com/489

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/489:_Going_West

[Cueball and Megan are talking, while Cueball is walking away from Megan holding his hands up. Megan is holding a folded page of a letter up in one hand. The envelope can be seen behind the page, which only displays one line of visible, but unreadable, text.] Megan: I'm sorry. The Google Maps team hired me. Cueball: But I can't move to California! [Megan has taken her hand down holding the letter so the backside of the envelope is now visible. Cueball turns towards her and holds one hand up in front of himself.] Megan: Then I guess this is the end. Cueball: It can't be! Cueball: Listen. [Cueball and Megan are holding each other's hands with stretched out arms, looking into each other's eyes. The envelope has disappeared from Megan's hands.] Cueball: When I look deep into your eyes, I see a future for us. Megan: Look deeper. [In this frameless panel, Cueball takes a hand up to his chin, while he bends his head very close to Megan's head, and she even leans a bit back. The letter and envelope have returned to her hand, after they went missing in the previous panel.] [Cueball stands normally, as does Megan with her letter.] Cueball: "We're sorry, but we don't have imagery at this zoom level"? Cueball: They... They have you already.

Megan has been hired by Google Maps and plans to move to California presumably because this is where Google headquarters is located. Her boyfriend Cueball states that he cannot move there. Megan then just ends their relationship. Cueball does not just give up -- he takes her hand and looks deep into her eyes and claims that he can see a future for them. But Megan asks him to look deeper, and he sees a typical Google Map message. He realizes that they already own her, and he has no chance of stopping her from going to California. Google Maps is a service to let people look at the world through their web browser. When Google Maps was first starting out, the maximum zoom level a person could select went past the highest resolution imagery available in certain areas. When this happened, Google Maps would tile the message "We're sorry, but we don't have imagery at this zoom level." When Cueball looks "closely" enough into Megan's eyes, he sees this same message and knows it is over. The title text refers to a functionality of Google Maps that allows users to submit/update information about places on the map, such as business listings, monuments, etc. Such updates must be approved by Google before other users can see them. Apparently, Cueball has been repeatedly submitting 'WHERE YOU BROKE MY HEART' as a listing for his own house, so that Megan, who is now on the Google Maps team, will see those submissions. The title text is probably her reply. [Cueball and Megan are talking, while Cueball is walking away from Megan holding his hands up. Megan is holding a folded page of a letter up in one hand. The envelope can be seen behind the page, which only displays one line of visible, but unreadable, text.] Megan: I'm sorry. The Google Maps team hired me. Cueball: But I can't move to California! [Megan has taken her hand down holding the letter so the backside of the envelope is now visible. Cueball turns towards her and holds one hand up in front of himself.] Megan: Then I guess this is the end. Cueball: It can't be! Cueball: Listen. [Cueball and Megan are holding each other's hands with stretched out arms, looking into each other's eyes. The envelope has disappeared from Megan's hands.] Cueball: When I look deep into your eyes, I see a future for us. Megan: Look deeper. [In this frameless panel, Cueball takes a hand up to his chin, while he bends his head very close to Megan's head, and she even leans a bit back. The letter and envelope have returned to her hand, after they went missing in the previous panel.] [Cueball stands normally, as does Megan with her letter.] Cueball: "We're sorry, but we don't have imagery at this zoom level"? Cueball: They... They have you already.

Morning Routine

Morning Routine

https://www.xkcd.com/490

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/490:_Morning_Routine

Morning Routine: Laptops are weird . From January 2017 to February 2017, the xkcd website's page for this comic (xkcd.com/490) was showing a different comic instead of the original comic displayed above. The comic displayed on the xkcd website's page was in fact 1518: Typical Morning Routine , and was most likely being incorrectly shown due to a technical error having something to do with the comics' similar names. The original comic's alt-text, "I had a really hard time not writing '...profit!'", was still displayed upon mouseover. As of February 2017, this error has been fixed and the original comic is displaying correctly again.

Thanks to the portability of the modern computer, the availability of the Internet, and the advent of social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter , someone could conceivably use their laptop to catch up on the lives of everyone they care about from the comfort of their own bed; indeed, they could do it under the covers if they want to. This is rather different than the pre-computer days in which catching up with friends required a great deal more effort. Hence, laptops are weird. The title text refers to the South Park episode " Gnomes ", in which a race of tiny gnomes steal people's underpants. Their business plan is finally explained as: Phase 1: Collect underpants Phase 2: ? Phase 3: Profit This became an Internet meme, used in situations where a person's or group's planned course of action held little clear relevance to their stated or inferred objective. As such, although the list bears superficial similarity to a list ending in "Profit," using this as a punchline would not be particularly effective or funny, hence Randall has decided not to include this. Morning Routine: Laptops are weird . From January 2017 to February 2017, the xkcd website's page for this comic (xkcd.com/490) was showing a different comic instead of the original comic displayed above. The comic displayed on the xkcd website's page was in fact 1518: Typical Morning Routine , and was most likely being incorrectly shown due to a technical error having something to do with the comics' similar names. The original comic's alt-text, "I had a really hard time not writing '...profit!'", was still displayed upon mouseover. As of February 2017, this error has been fixed and the original comic is displaying correctly again.

Twitter

Twitter

https://www.xkcd.com/491

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/491:_Twitter

[Cueball with a handheld device sits on an office chair.] Device: Beep beep Device: On Twitter feeds Device: Beep beep Device: An odd regression: Device: Beep beep Device: Ancient memes Device: Beep beep Device: Find new expression Device: Beep beep Device: Burma-shave

This comic plays off of an old shaving cream product's Burma-Shave advertising campaign employed on American highways from 1925 to 1963 . These ads used short poems, each line arranged sequentially on a sign along a highway, the last line always being "Burma Shave," the name of the shaving cream. Originally, these ads only described the product, but others included driving safety messages. Twitter is a messaging service where your messages are restricted in length, so to get a longer essay sent, you will need to break it up in smaller fragments — like the Burma-Shave messages, although the whole of the text of this comic is considerably less than 140 characters and would not need to be broken up on Twitter. Cueball gets five messages from Twitter on his device that give the following message: On Twitter feeds - An odd regression: - Ancient memes - Find new expression - Burma-shave. This relates that this old way (ancient-memes) of getting a message through when only having a limited space now again (an odd regression) flourishes on Twitter feeds - Burma-shave... Firefox 2 had a long standing annoying bug where only the initial part of the title text were shown as a tool-tip, creating a "Burma-Shave" effect of only being able to see some of the text. Unlike Burma-Shave, where you would see the rest of the text as you were driving down the highway, Firefox didn't actually show you the rest of the text unless you right-clicked show-property, and you would be able to see a sideways scrollable field of the title-text in the properties for the image. The joke in this title text is composed of five broken tool-tips from Firefox, and the message is that you should upgrade your browser from Firefox 2. Any other browser would do in order to improve your reading experience when browsing through xkcd! [Cueball with a handheld device sits on an office chair.] Device: Beep beep Device: On Twitter feeds Device: Beep beep Device: An odd regression: Device: Beep beep Device: Ancient memes Device: Beep beep Device: Find new expression Device: Beep beep Device: Burma-shave

Scrabble

Scrabble

https://www.xkcd.com/492

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/492:_Scrabble

[A first-person view of a family Scrabble game at a table. The other players are a juvenile Cueball to the left, Hairbun across from you, and Ponytail to the right. The two letters on the board are 'HI', with the 'H' on the center star, and the letters in your hand are 'CLTORIS.'] This always happens to me in family Scrabble games.

This comic depicts a game of Scrabble , a popular board game where the goal is to form words with the letters in your hand. The joke here is that the obvious option here is the word " clitoris ," which is an inappropriate word for a family Scrabble game, but gives a 50-point bonus for using all seven tiles. The title text points out that the letters in the hand can also form the word "OSTRICH," which is family friendly, but much lower scoring and not as obvious. As the H appears to be on the center star square, the narrator will score 63 points if he plays "CLITORIS" (however he uses the two Is, as three of the tiles will fall on double letter scores), and 13 points if he plays "OSTRICH." The highest-scoring play is to hook the C and play "HIC" and "LICTORS," scoring 71 points. [A first-person view of a family Scrabble game at a table. The other players are a juvenile Cueball to the left, Hairbun across from you, and Ponytail to the right. The two letters on the board are 'HI', with the 'H' on the center star, and the letters in your hand are 'CLTORIS.'] This always happens to me in family Scrabble games.

Actuarial

Actuarial

https://www.xkcd.com/493

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/493:_Actuarial

[A dialog between Cueball, seated at a computer terminal, and Black Hat, seated in an armchair reading a book. They are facing away from each other.] Cueball: I know you shouldn't feed the trolls, but sometimes they just provoke me to where I can't help replying. Black Hat: Yeah, me too. Yesterday this guy kept spamming "First!", so I got a set of actuarial tables and spent twenty minutes telling him when all his childhood heroes would likely die. [Cueball turns around in his chair.] Cueball: ... Cueball: Remind me never to upset you, ever. Black Hat: 2038: Last of the original Star Wars cast dies. Cueball: Augh!

Cueball is commenting about how he shouldn't feed the trolls, but sometimes gets provoked to the point where he can't help replying. The term Trolling is used to describe provocative, destructive, or annoying behavior on the Internet . Black Hat agrees and tells that he had an issue yesterday with a guy who had a serious case of the first urge. Some people have to be the first to make a comment on any given posting (be it a blog post or a YouTube video or some other commentable content) and to obnoxiously point out that they have made the first comment. This often manifests as the poster simply posting the word "First" without contributing any actual content to the discussion. Once again, Black Hat is thus provoked into online retaliation bordering on the sociopathic, choosing a form of retribution that doesn't necessarily break any written rules but strikes directly at the heart and/or mind of his opponent. In this case, he tells the first guy when all his childhood heroes are likely to die - this could make anyone miserable. To do this, he is using actuarial tables or life tables, which show for each age the probability that a certain person will be alive by their next birthday. Cueball reflects that he doesn't wish to become the target of such ire himself, but (without apparent malice on Black Hat's part...) still suffers from a piece of memetic shrapnel from the original attack - Cueball obviously loves the original Star Wars movies - and Black Hat would know this! In the title text, it is said how Black Hat's offensive is so effective that he appears to have caused grief even to his own author and creator , Randall , who only managed to check up on the Star Wars cast before getting too depressed. (So far, six main cast members have died: Peter Cushing ( Grand Moff Tarkin ) in 1994, Alec Guinness ( Obi-Wan Kenobi ) in 2000, Kenny Baker (English actor) ( R2-D2 ) and Carrie Fisher ( Princess Leia ), both in 2016, Peter Mayhew ( Chewbacca ) in 2019, and finally David Prowse ( Darth Vader ) in 2020.) Randall has used this idea again in 893: 65 Years and published a 'morbid' program (the original code has been removed, but an implementation can be found on Github) that uses actuarial tables to calculate the probability that someone will die within a given time. The offense that provoked Black hat was mentioned already in 269: TCMP and then returned to in both 1019: First Post and 1258: First . A similar setting with Cueball and Black Hat also discussing movies appears later in 1751: Movie Folder . But then Black Hat is reading on his smartphone. It is possible that 494: Secretary: Part 1 and the following series are a continuation of this comic, as Black Hat's great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways would explain why he was chosen as Internet secretary. [A dialog between Cueball, seated at a computer terminal, and Black Hat, seated in an armchair reading a book. They are facing away from each other.] Cueball: I know you shouldn't feed the trolls, but sometimes they just provoke me to where I can't help replying. Black Hat: Yeah, me too. Yesterday this guy kept spamming "First!", so I got a set of actuarial tables and spent twenty minutes telling him when all his childhood heroes would likely die. [Cueball turns around in his chair.] Cueball: ... Cueball: Remind me never to upset you, ever. Black Hat: 2038: Last of the original Star Wars cast dies. Cueball: Augh!

Secretary Part 1

Secretary: Part 1

https://www.xkcd.com/494

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/494:_Secretary:_Part_1

Spring 2009— The new president faces a crisis... [Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.] Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless. Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now? Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them. Mr. President: How bad is it? Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days. Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded. Mr. President: Go on. Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess. Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy. Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats. Mr. President: What? Cueball: Nothing. Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post? Cueball: I know just the guy. Soon: Phone: Ring [Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone.]

The President of the United States of America is the chief executive of the United States of America. [ citation needed ] Since this comic was released in October 2008 and the presidential election was in November, it was then unknown which of the candidates would become president by the time the comic was set (Spring 2009). This is why the president in the comic is out-of-panel and therefore not revealed to us. As it would turn out, the president inaugurated in January 2009 was Barack Obama, who has gone on to demonstrate a tactical use of the Internet (including the more frivolous aspects of it) for public relations purposes. The suppositional president in the comic is less savvy. The tubes being clogged is a reference to the, now deceased, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens who, during a congressional debate on net neutrality , described the Internet as a series of tubes (be sure to listen to the audio clips in that Wikipedia page, and you'll see why he became a big hit with the Internet). Ted Stevens also gained notoriety for backing a proposal to build a bridge to nowhere using federal funds. The question "What are they a-Twitter about now?" refers to the website Twitter , which is a microblogging and social networking site. Cats are notorious for being hard to herd, thus the idiom "herding cats," meaning an extremely difficult task that can very quickly get away from anyone undertaking it. Lolcats are pictures of cats, usually in humorous poses, that have insipid captions on them. The conflation of lolcats and the herding idiom escaped the president (who is presumably somebody not familiar with the former term). The title text refers to Ceiling Cat , a lolcat parody of God. As with cats, Bloggers are an ideologically diverse bunch, and they are hard to get to go in a single direction. The proposed "Secretary of the Internet" would likely be a new position on the President's Cabinet , which currently consists of the heads of 15 executive departments and are, with the one exception of the Attorney General (who heads the Department of Justice), titled "Secretary of Department ." All comics in the Secretary series are: This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial , in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary. Spring 2009— The new president faces a crisis... [Cueball is talking to an unseen Mr. President, who is sitting behind a desk.] Cueball: Mr. President, the bloggers are restless. Mr. President: What are they a-twitter about now? Cueball: It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them. Mr. President: How bad is it? Cueball: The internet could be inoperative within days. Cueball: We can't let a crucial resource go unshepherded. Mr. President: Go on. Cueball: I recommend you appoint a Secretary of the internet. Someone to impose some orders on this mess. Mr. President: Ordering bloggers around? Doesn't sound easy. Cueball: No; it's like herding lolcats. Mr. President: What? Cueball: Nothing. Mr. President: Do you have someone in mind for the post? Cueball: I know just the guy. Soon: Phone: Ring [Black Hat looks away from his computer at the ringing phone.]

Secretary Part 2

Secretary: Part 2

https://www.xkcd.com/495

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/495:_Secretary:_Part_2

[Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.] Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here. Caption: Possibly a haberdasher? [Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water-filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.] Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful. Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat? [Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone, and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.] Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture. Blondie: Tom? [This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right, but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.] Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious. Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom? Tom: I'm not sure. Image with text only: /b/ [Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a frame with a caption:] Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp. Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs? [Zoom out showing Ponytail, who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that, it is white.] Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee! Ron Paul: It's not me? [Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.] Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll! Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Back inside the blimp, Ron Paul points to Ponytail, while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.] Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol! [Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.] Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely. Ron Paul: Blast! [Ponytail now holds onto both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.] Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead! [A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel, and after the lake, there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these, there follow one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp, there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountains stretching over the next peak and mound.] Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely, taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1] Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2] Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Same image, but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake.] Ron Paul: I said full speed! Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir! Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION

Whenever something big happens the news, media likes to have at least two things: interviews with people who are the news, and on-the-scene reporters. In this case, Blondie as a news anchor is shown to begin with talking about Black Hat , and she has even been out at his house. Even if those reporters are simply standing in front of a building that something happened in, they have to be on-scene. To thwart the media (and probably everyone else), Black Hat has built a moat around his apartment building. The second reporter is on-the-scene from the Internet, or rather, one of its darkest corners: 4chan . In more detail, 4chan is a collection of image boards that act somewhat like forums, where users go to share images. The different boards are named by their "folder" structure, for lack of a better term. Therefore, the name /b/ comes from its URL: 4chan.org/b/. Pronounced "slash bee" (because the second forward slash is not necessary), /b/ is the "random" board, where anything goes, where anything is the superset of all sets, as in anything. Absolutely. Anything. As in, going more than two seconds without seeing pornographic content or hateful slurs is almost unheard of. /b/ is also the one that gets the most publicity, because it has started many of the memes [1] on the Internet, as well as the birthplace of Anonymous . The chaotic nature of the forums explains why the title text suggests that the reporter isn't safe, even though he is wearing a helmet. In fact, a goofy helmet like that is liable to get the trolls on him faster than if he didn't have it. This may be a Densha Otoko [2] reference, which features helmet-wearing /b/ members. Ron Paul is a man who was a U.S. Representative for Texas at the time. At the time the comic was published, he was running, for the second time, for President of the United States . A haberdasher is a person who sells small articles of clothing that have been or can be sewed. In modern English, a haberdashery (where a haberdasher would work) is a place that sells hats. This could be a reference to former President Harry S. Truman , who operated a failed haberdashery in the early 1920s. Ron Paul's 2008 presidential campaign did, in fact, use a blimp that was named the Ron Paul Blimp . However, despite their elegant appearance, blimps are not a very fast way to travel. The images on the /b/ board behind the reporter are: Together, the initial letters of these items spell out " ABCDEFG ". The title text states that the second reporter (Tom)'s helmet won't help him, though from what, it is unclear as he himself stated he wasn't sure why he was wearing the helmet. All comics in the Secretary series are: This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial , in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary. [Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.] Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here. Caption: Possibly a haberdasher? [Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water-filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.] Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful. Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat? [Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone, and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.] Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture. Blondie: Tom? [This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right, but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.] Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious. Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom? Tom: I'm not sure. Image with text only: /b/ [Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a frame with a caption:] Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp. Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs? [Zoom out showing Ponytail, who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that, it is white.] Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee! Ron Paul: It's not me? [Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.] Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll! Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Back inside the blimp, Ron Paul points to Ponytail, while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.] Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol! [Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.] Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely. Ron Paul: Blast! [Ponytail now holds onto both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.] Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead! [A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel, and after the lake, there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these, there follow one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp, there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountains stretching over the next peak and mound.] Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely, taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1] Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2] Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION [Same image, but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake.] Ron Paul: I said full speed! Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir! Blimp: Ron Paul RƎVO⅃UTION

Secretary Part 3

Secretary: Part 3

https://www.xkcd.com/496

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/496:_Secretary:_Part_3

[The confirmation hearings begin.] Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record. Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks? Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces. Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade? Black Hat: Got three mimes, too. Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed? Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple! Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer? Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle. Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine? Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way. [Senators look down at their notes.] Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine? Black Hat: I plead the third. Senator: You mean the fifth? Black Hat: No, the third. Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house? Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them. Meanwhile... [Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.] Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir. Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors. Ponytail: It's a balloon. Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

When a person has been appointed to be on certain positions [1] by the President , they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the Senate (the upper house of Congress ) where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, Black Hat is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his résumé . N.B. When this comic was written, Senate confirmation hearings occurred rapidly after a president made a nomination and were expected to prevent unsuitable candidates from being given positions of power. The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger Cory Doctorow , as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4. All comics in the Secretary series are: This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial , in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary. [The confirmation hearings begin.] Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record. Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks? Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces. Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade? Black Hat: Got three mimes, too. Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed? Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple! Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer? Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle. Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine? Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way. [Senators look down at their notes.] Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine? Black Hat: I plead the third. Senator: You mean the fifth? Black Hat: No, the third. Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house? Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them. Meanwhile... [Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.] Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir. Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors. Ponytail: It's a balloon. Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

Secretary Part 4

Secretary: Part 4

https://www.xkcd.com/497

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/497:_Secretary:_Part_4

[The Ron Paul Revolution blimp floats.] Pilot: Sir! The balloon is hailing us! [Cory Doctorow's balloon appears.] Cory: Ahoy. Ron Paul: Doctorow! Cory: I won't let you stop this nomination. We bloggers watch out for our own. Ron Paul: Stand aside, Cory. Cory: Nay! Ron Paul: Very well. Battle stations! [The Ron Paul Revolution blimp's gun takes aim.] Whirrr kachunk [Cory Doctorow's balloon's gun takes aim.] Whirrrr kachunk [Both airships open fire.] Pew pew pew Pew pew Boing! Boing! [Inside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp's control room.] Ponytail: We're taking damage! Ron Paul: Keep firing! Ponytail: No good! We're losing altitude! [Outside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp, it hangs smoking in the air.] Ron Paul: All engines full! Pull up! Ponytail: Can't, sir! [The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily.] [The blimp sinks further.] Ponytail: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold... Ron Paul: Never! [Inside the control room, tilted slightly.] Ponytail: We've lost, sir. We have to abort. Ron Paul: Not yet, we don't! Open the loading bay doors. [Camera zooms out slightly.] Ron Paul: You take the blimp and fall back. click Ron Paul: I've got a message to deliver. Whirr [Ron Paul tosses his cane aside.] [Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul.] Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL [Light cycle begins to form.] [Tron Paul bends over the light cycle.] [Light cycle finishes its formation.] [Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag.]

Ron Paul is an American physician, author, and politician who is a House Representative for Texas and is a three-time Presidential candidate, running as a Libertarian and a Republican . He has a very dedicated and vocal base of supporters who believe that he is the only true alternative to either side of the Two-Party System . These supporters go under the name " Ron Paul Revolution " with the letters "evol" reversed to emphasise "love." Tron is a movie made by Disney . The title text refers to the line of virtual light that streams out from the back of Tron's light grid vehicles. Normally it is a single, solid color, but in the comic, it is the color of the American flag to show Ron's patriotism. There is also a joke about Pokémon in the phrase "... evolves into ...". Pokémon is a game where the player, a "Trainer," has their Pokémon battle other Pokémon to level the Pokémon up. As the Pokémon levels up, they evolve into the next, more powerful, form of the Pokémon. Ron Paul and Cory Doctorow are fighting because Cory Doctorow believes he must support fellow bloggers no matter what, and Ron Paul wants the nomination that Black Hat, a blogger, is getting. There is a subtle joke in the panel where Ron Paul and Cory Doctorow are firing at each other; the sound effect for Cory's guns is "Boing! Boing!," which is the name of Cory Doctorow's blog . Also, a visual joke is that Cory's turret in panel 5 very much resembles an upside-down Dalek . The latter might not be an intentional joke, however, as Ron Paul's turret is designed the same way as Cory's. The reference to gold touches on Ron Paul's desire to see monetary policy once again be driven by the gold standard, namely that a country's currency value be driven not by its economic activity, but by the amount of physical gold it owns. Earlier in American history, this was the case; owning a dollar would (in theory) be owning one dollar's worth of gold somewhere in the treasury. This is in contrast with the current international practice, where countries are able to print an arbitrary quantity of paper money that is not necessarily backed by physical gold. Adherence to the gold standard is an extreme minority view; most economists, and the population at large, agree that the current system is much better. This may also be a reference to the final scene in The Italian Job , where the heroes face a decision over losing a large quantity of gold - or death or a reference to The Mysterious Island , where the survivors have to drop the gold in their hot air balloon to prevent losing altitude. All comics in the Secretary series are: This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial , in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary. [The Ron Paul Revolution blimp floats.] Pilot: Sir! The balloon is hailing us! [Cory Doctorow's balloon appears.] Cory: Ahoy. Ron Paul: Doctorow! Cory: I won't let you stop this nomination. We bloggers watch out for our own. Ron Paul: Stand aside, Cory. Cory: Nay! Ron Paul: Very well. Battle stations! [The Ron Paul Revolution blimp's gun takes aim.] Whirrr kachunk [Cory Doctorow's balloon's gun takes aim.] Whirrrr kachunk [Both airships open fire.] Pew pew pew Pew pew Boing! Boing! [Inside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp's control room.] Ponytail: We're taking damage! Ron Paul: Keep firing! Ponytail: No good! We're losing altitude! [Outside the Ron Paul Revolution blimp, it hangs smoking in the air.] Ron Paul: All engines full! Pull up! Ponytail: Can't, sir! [The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily.] [The blimp sinks further.] Ponytail: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold... Ron Paul: Never! [Inside the control room, tilted slightly.] Ponytail: We've lost, sir. We have to abort. Ron Paul: Not yet, we don't! Open the loading bay doors. [Camera zooms out slightly.] Ron Paul: You take the blimp and fall back. click Ron Paul: I've got a message to deliver. Whirr [Ron Paul tosses his cane aside.] [Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul.] Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL [Light cycle begins to form.] [Tron Paul bends over the light cycle.] [Light cycle finishes its formation.] [Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag.]

Secretary Part 5

Secretary: Part 5

https://www.xkcd.com/498

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/498:_Secretary:_Part_5

[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.] Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary. Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death. Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous. [Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.] [Tron Paul's lightcycle swerves wildly.] Meanwhile... Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!! [Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.] Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you. Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings? Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels. [The committee members murmur among themselves.] [There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.] RUMBLE plink plink [A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.] plink [The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.] [A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.] FOOM [The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.] [The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.] [Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.] Committee Members: Security! Someone! Committee Members: Get Him! [Tron Paul bursts through the wall.] CRASH Tron Paul: Aaaaa! [Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.] snag Tron Paul: Hey! [Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.] [Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.] Tron Paul: Get Off! [Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.] CRASH [Tron Paul hits the ground.] WHAM Tron Paul: Ow! [Black Hat runs away.] Tron Paul: Ughhh. [The lightcycle disappears.] Tron Paul: I feel queasy... Cory Doctorow, above: Hey! Black Hat: Hi, Cory. Cory Doctorow: Need a lift? Black Hat: Sure. [Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.] Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now? Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name... [Senators play in the playpen balls.] But in the rotunda Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony! Senators: Senior senators first! Senators: Wheeee! Senators: I'm a submarine! All is forgiven.

This is the fifth and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination has Black Hat up to his usual shenanigans in the US Senate chamber room . The hearings have ended, with the chairman deciding to sentence him to death, instead of confirming his position of Internet Secretary. Black Hat replies that he was "never interested in taking the position." This would be quite weird, as Senate confirmation meetings take a long time. The committee members are obviously surprised, and they question Black Hat, trying to get him to reveal his motives. He then cryptically replies that "It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels." The confused committee members then look at each other. A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman, before being followed by a geyser of red, white, and blue balls, which begin to engulf the room and the Senate rotunda. Of course, Black Hat has already escaped by grabbing Tron Paul's lightcycle and using it to smash his way out of the rotunda. Outside the Senate, Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine, along with everything else mentioned in 496: Secretary: Part 3 Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below. The title text refers to Al Gore . Al Gore was the Vice President under President Bill Clinton and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000. Al Gore has had quite a history with the Internet , including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told Wolf Blitzer , "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although some of its pioneers clarified what Gore actually meant (that "his initiatives led directly to the commercialization of the Internet") and agreed with this assessment. [1] [2] The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a bill of attainder , which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed." "An unorthodox move," indeed. Tron was an arcade game, based on the movie of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles that left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the Snake game . Of course, playpen balls have been the topic of many comics before, notably in 150: Grownups . All comics in the Secretary series are: This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. It is possible that this series is a continuation of 493: Actuarial , in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary. [The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.] Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary. Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death. Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous. [Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.] [Tron Paul's lightcycle swerves wildly.] Meanwhile... Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!! [Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.] Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you. Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings? Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels. [The committee members murmur among themselves.] [There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.] RUMBLE plink plink [A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.] plink [The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.] [A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.] FOOM [The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.] [The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.] [Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.] Committee Members: Security! Someone! Committee Members: Get Him! [Tron Paul bursts through the wall.] CRASH Tron Paul: Aaaaa! [Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.] snag Tron Paul: Hey! [Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.] [Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.] Tron Paul: Get Off! [Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.] CRASH [Tron Paul hits the ground.] WHAM Tron Paul: Ow! [Black Hat runs away.] Tron Paul: Ughhh. [The lightcycle disappears.] Tron Paul: I feel queasy... Cory Doctorow, above: Hey! Black Hat: Hi, Cory. Cory Doctorow: Need a lift? Black Hat: Sure. [Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.] Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now? Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name... [Senators play in the playpen balls.] But in the rotunda Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony! Senators: Senior senators first! Senators: Wheeee! Senators: I'm a submarine! All is forgiven.

Scantron

Scantron

https://www.xkcd.com/499

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/499:_Scantron

[A classroom scene. There are two desks, and the front one is occupied by the student. Miss Lenhart stands panel right facing the student.] Miss Lenhart: Okay class, I've turned in your exams for grading. Now— Student: Miss Lenhart? [View is now simply student in desk and teacher. The student is holding a pencil. Miss Lenhart looks horrified.] Student: I used a #3 pencil instead of a #2. Will that mess anything up? Miss Lenhart: You WHAT? [Miss Lenhart stands, covering her face, in front of an off-panel right explosion. The unseen speaker is off-panel right.] AIEEE BLAM Unseen speaker: OH GOD! [The student and Miss Lenhart are left-panel. The student looks shocked, and Miss Lenhart is still covering her face. The unseen speaker is still off-panel right.] Unseen speaker: Oh god! I've never seen so much blood!

This comic is a take on the instructions "Remember to use a #2 pencil on the Scantron" that most modern students in the US have heard many, many times, a warning that seems unnecessary to many because #2 pencils are the most common type of pencil, and most students wouldn't have any other kind. Scantrons are standardized machine-readable papers used by students to answer multiple-choice tests. Often, the instructor will remind students to use a #2 pencil, which is a US classification of pencil hardness and equivalent to the HB term that is used in Europe. #2 pencils use a medium-hardness graphite considered ideal for Scantron use because the graphite is soft enough to leave a dark mark but hard enough to not smudge, both aspects that improve the performance of machine-readable paper. Miss Lenhart seems to have given her class one of these tests. The joke is that the student used a #3 (or 'H') pencil, which has a slightly harder graphite rating, as opposed to the #2. Instructors and examiners usually place great emphasis on using a #2 pencil, as if not using one would lead to dire consequences, but without explaining why. The comic jokingly suggests that these consequences would include causing the grading machine to explode, killing harming people nearby and leaving a bloody mess. The title text refers to the instruction to "fill in all the bubbles completely." This again improves the performance of machine-readable paper. The student states that he spent an inordinate amount of time making sure his markings were perfect because he had been warned so many times to do so, but five seconds is usually enough. This is the first of only two comics where Miss Lenhart is both drawn and named, the second being 1050: Forgot Algebra . [A classroom scene. There are two desks, and the front one is occupied by the student. Miss Lenhart stands panel right facing the student.] Miss Lenhart: Okay class, I've turned in your exams for grading. Now— Student: Miss Lenhart? [View is now simply student in desk and teacher. The student is holding a pencil. Miss Lenhart looks horrified.] Student: I used a #3 pencil instead of a #2. Will that mess anything up? Miss Lenhart: You WHAT? [Miss Lenhart stands, covering her face, in front of an off-panel right explosion. The unseen speaker is off-panel right.] AIEEE BLAM Unseen speaker: OH GOD! [The student and Miss Lenhart are left-panel. The student looks shocked, and Miss Lenhart is still covering her face. The unseen speaker is still off-panel right.] Unseen speaker: Oh god! I've never seen so much blood!

Election

Election

https://www.xkcd.com/500

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/500:_Election

[Cueball sits at his computer desk, staring at his computer.] Cueball: It's over. Cueball: After twenty months it's finally over. Cueball: I don't have to be an election junkie anymore. [Close-up of Cueball's face and screen.] Cueball: I don't have to care about opinion polls, exit polls, margins of error, attack ads, game-changers, tracking polls, swing states, swing votes, the Bradley effect, or <name> the <occupation>. Cueball: I'm free. [Cueball staring at his computer screen, full shot.] [Cueball types on his computer.] Tap Tap [On screen:] Google '2012 polling statistics'

This comic was published the day after the 2008 presidential election in the US. Cueball has been closely following the quantitative aspect of the election for over a year and a half, and he seems to be relieved that it's over. Now that the election has passed, he does not have to follow the many different opinion polls, number-crunching analyses, and news clips about people like Joe the Plumber that he has kept close track of during the election season. As soon as he says this, however, he starts to search for information on the 2012 election , suggesting that his political obsession has not at all passed. A list of the elements Cueball had been thinking about: The title text is about statistician Nate Silver , who became something of a geek celebrity for his analysis during the campaign. He correctly predicted the outcomes of 49 of the 50 states in the 2008 election on his blog. It jokes that having him predict the outcomes of life decisions would make choosing the best thing to do very easy. So if Cueball ask Nate - "Should I sleep with her?", then Nate could give him a forecast like this: "Well, I'm showing a 35% chance it will end badly." Later, in 2016, Nate Silver's website, FiveThirtyEight, launched an advice column thus making the title text partially come true. [Cueball sits at his computer desk, staring at his computer.] Cueball: It's over. Cueball: After twenty months it's finally over. Cueball: I don't have to be an election junkie anymore. [Close-up of Cueball's face and screen.] Cueball: I don't have to care about opinion polls, exit polls, margins of error, attack ads, game-changers, tracking polls, swing states, swing votes, the Bradley effect, or <name> the <occupation>. Cueball: I'm free. [Cueball staring at his computer screen, full shot.] [Cueball types on his computer.] Tap Tap [On screen:] Google '2012 polling statistics'