Output:
While Monkey was indulging in this bad temper and bluster a lay brother responsible for burning the evening incense had lit several sticks and was putting them into the burner in front of the Buddhas. An angry shout from Monkey gave him such a fright that he fell over. Picking himself up he saw Monkey’s face, at which he collapsed again, then rolled and staggered to the abbot’s cell, where he reported, “Reverend sir, there’s a monk outside.”

“You lay brothers really need more flogging,” said the abbot. “I’ve already said they can squat under the eaves, so why report again? Next time it will be twenty strokes.”

“But, reverend sir,” said the lay brother, “this is a different monk. He looks thoroughly vicious, and he’s got no backbone either.”

“What’s he like?” the abbot asked.

“Round eyes, pointed ears, hair all over his cheeks, and a face as ugly as a thunder god,” said the lay brother. “He’s got a cudgel in his hand and he’s gnashing his teeth in fury. He must be looking for someone to kill.”


Output:
“I’ll go out and see him,” said the abbot. No sooner had he opened his door than Monkey charged in. He really was ugly: an irregular, knobbly face, a pair of yellow eyes, a bulging forehead, and teeth jutting out. He was like a crab, with flesh on the inside and bone on the outside. The old monk was so frightened that he fastened the doors of his quarters.

Monkey, who was right behind him, smashed through the doors and said, “Hurry up and sweep out a thousand nice clean rooms for me. I want to go to sleep.”

The abbot, hiding in his room, said to the lay brother, “It’s not his fault he’s so ugly. He’s just talking big to make up for that face. There are only three hundred rooms in the whole monastery, even counting my lodgings, the Buddha Hall, the drum and bell towers and the cloisters, but he’s asking for a thousand to sleep in. We can’t possibly get them.”

“Reverend sir,” said the lay brother, “I’m terrified. You had better answer him, however you will.”


Output:
“Venerable sir,” called the abbot, shaking with fear, “you ask for lodging, but our little monastery would be most inconvenient, so we won’t be able to entertain you. Please spend the night somewhere else.”

Monkey made his cudgel as thick as a rice-bowl and stood it on its end in the courtyard outside the abbot’s cell. “If it would be inconvenient, monk,” he said, “you’d better move out.”

“But I’ve lived here since I was a boy,” the abbot said, “my master’s master passed the monastery on to my master, who passed it on to my generation, and we’ll hand it on in turn to our successors and our successors’ successors. Goodness only knows what he’s up to, charging in here and trying to move us out.”

“No problem at all, reverend sir,” said the lay brother. “We can go. He’s already brought his pole into the yard.”

“Stop talking nonsense,” said the abbot. “There are four of five hundred of us monks, old and young, so where could we go? If we went there would be nowhere for us to stay.”


Output:
“If there’s nowhere you can move to,” said Monkey, who had heard the conversation, “you’ll have to send someone out to take me on in a quarterstaff fight.”

“Go out and fight him for me,” the abbot ordered the lay brother.

“Reverend Sir,” the lay brother protested, “you can’t ask me to fight with a staff against a caber that size.”

“You must,” the abbot replied, adding, “‘An army is built up for many years to be used in a single morning.’”

“Never mind him hitting you with that caber,” said the lay brother, “it would squash you flat if it just fell on you.”

“And even if it didn’t fall on you and squash you,” said the abbot, “with it standing out there in the yard you might be walking around at night, forget it was there, and give yourself a dent in the head just by bumping into it.”

“Now you realize how heavy it is, reverend sir, how can you expect me to go out and fight him with my staff?” said the lay brother. This was how the monks quarreled among themselves.


Output:
“Yes,” said Monkey, hearing all this, “you’re no match for me. But if I were to kill just one of you with this cudgel my master would be angry with me for committing murder again. I’d better find something else to hit as a demonstration for you.” Looking and seeing a stone lion outside the doors to the abbot’s room, he raised his cudgel and smashed it to smithereens with a single resounding blow. When the abbot saw this through the window the fright turned his bones and muscles to jelly. He dived under the bed.

The lay brother climbed into the cooking-stove and kept saying, “Sir, sir, that cudgel’s too heavy, I’m no match for you. I beg you, I beg you.”

“I won’t hit you, monk,” said Monkey. “I’ve just got a question for you: how many monks are there in the monastery?”

“We have two hundred and eighty-five cells all told,” replied the abbot, shaking with fear, “and five hundred monks holding official ordination licenses.”


Output:
“I want you to draw those five hundred monks up on parade,” said Monkey, “get them dressed in long habits, and receive my master. Then I won’t hit you.”

“If you won’t hit me, sir,” said the abbot, “I’d gladly carry him in.”

“Hurry up then,” said Monkey.

“I don’t care if the fright breaks your gallbladder, or even if it breaks your heart,” said the abbot to the lay brother. “Go out and tell them all to come here and welcome His Grace the Tang Priest.”

The lay brother had no choice but to take his life in his hands. Not daring to go through the front door, he squirmed out through a gap in the back wall and went straight to the main hall, where he struck the drum that was to the East and the bell that was to the West. The sound of the two together startled all the monks young and old in the dormitories on both sides.

They came to the main hall and asked, “Why are the drum and bell sounding now? It’s too early.”


Output:
“Go and change at once,” said the lay brother, “then get yourselves into your groups under the senior monk and go outside the main gates to welcome His Grace from the land of Tang.” All the monks then went out through the gates in a most orderly procession to greet him. Some wore full cassocks, and some tunics; those who had neither wore a kind of sleeveless smock, and the poorest of all who had no proper garment draped the two ends of their loin-cloths over their shoulders.

“Monks, what’s that you’re wearing?” demanded Monkey.

“Sir, don’t hit us,” they said, seeing his ugly and evil face, “let us explain. This is cloth we beg for in town. We don’t have any tailors here, so these are paupers’ wrappers we make ourselves.”

Monkey laughed inside at this, then escorted them all out through the gates to kneel down. The abbot kowtowed and called out, “Your Grace of Tang, please take a seat in my lodgings.”


Output:
Seeing all this, Pig said, “Master, you’re completely useless. When you went in you were all tears and pouting so much you could have hung a bottle from your lips. How come that only Monkey knows tow to make them welcome us with kowtows?”

“Ill-mannered idiot,” said Sanzang. “As the saying goes, even a devil’s afraid of an ugly mug.” Sanzang was most uncomfortable at the sight of them all kowtowing and bowing, so he stepped forward and invited them all to rise. They all kowtowed again and said, “Your Grace, if you would ask your disciple to show some mercy and not hit us with that caber we’ll gladly kneel here for a month.”

“You must not hit them, Wukong,” said the Tang Priest.

“I haven’t hit them,” said Monkey. “If I had, I’d have wiped the lot of them out.” Only then did all the monks rise to their feet. Leading the horse, shouldering the shoulder-poles with the luggage, carrying the Tang Priest, giving Pig a piggyback, and supporting Friar Sand they all went in through the main gates to the


Output:
abbot’s lodgings at the back, where they took their seats in due order.

The monks all started kowtowing again. “Please rise, lord abbot,” Sanzang said. “There is no need for any more kowtows, which are oppressive for a poor monk like me. We are both followers of the Buddhist faith.”

“Your Grace is an Imperial Commissioner,” the abbot replied, “and I failed to greet you properly. You came to our wretched monastery, but when I met you my mortal eyes did not recognize your illustrious status. May I venture to ask, Your Grace, whether you are eating a vegetarian or a meat diet on your journey? We would like to prepare a meal.”

“Vegetarian food,” replied Sanzang.

“And I imagine that these reverend gentlemen,” said the abbot, “like to eat meat.”

“No,” said Monkey. “We are vegetarians, and have been all our lives.”

“Good Heavens,” exclaimed the abbot, “can even creatures like these be vegetarians?”


Output:
Then a very bold monk came forward to ask, “Sirs, as you eat vegetarian food, how much rice should we cook for you?”

“Mean little monks,” said Pig, “why ask? Cook us a bushel.” The monks then moved as fast as they could to clean the stoves and the cauldrons and serve food and tea in all the cells. The lamps were hung high and tables and chairs brought to entertain the Tan Priest.

When master and disciples had eaten their supper the monks cleared the things away. Sanzang thanked the abbot: “Lord abbot, we have put your illustrious monastery to great trouble.”

“No, no,” the abbot protested, “we have entertained you very poorly.”

“May my disciples and I spend the night here?” Sanzang asked.

“Don’t worry, Your Grace,” the abbot replied, “we will arrange things.” Then he called out, “Are there any lay brothers on duty over there?”

“Yes, reverend sir,” a lay brother replied.


Output:
“Yes, reverend sir,” a lay brother replied.

“Then send a couple of them to see to the fodder for His Grace’s horse,” the abbot instructed, “and have some sweep out and clean up the front meditation hall. Put beds in there for these venerable gentlemen to sleep in.” The lay brothers did as they had been told and arranged everything, then invited the Tang Priest to go to bed. Master and disciples led the horse and carried their baggage out of the abbot’s quarters to the meditation hall. Looking in through the doors they saw the lamp burning brightly and four rattan beds set up at the ends of the room. Monkey told the lay brother who was looking after the fodder to carry it inside, lay it in the meditation hall, and tie up the white horse; the lay brothers were then all dismissed. Sanzang sat in the middle, right under the lamp, while the five hundred monks stood in their two divisions waiting upon him, not daring to leave.


Output:
“You may now leave, gentlemen,” said Sanzang, bowing to them from his chair, “as we would like to go to sleep.” But the monks dared not withdraw.

The abbot stepped forward and said to them, “Help Their Graces to bed, then leave.”

“You have done that already,” said Sanzang, “so you may all now go.” Only then did they disperse.

On going outside to relieve himself the Tang Priest saw the moon shining in the sky. He called his disciples, Monkey, Pig and Friar Sand, who came out to stand in attendance. He was moved by the brightness and purity of the moon as it shone from high in the jade firmament, making all in heaven and on earth clearly visible. He recited a long poem in the ancient style in the moonlight with a nostalgic feeling. It went:

A white soul hangs, a mirror in the sky,

Reflected whole in the mountain stream.

Pure light fills the towers of jade,

Cool air swirls round the silver bowls.

The same pure light shines on a thousand miles;

This is the clearest night of the year.


Output:
This is the clearest night of the year.

It rises from the sea like a frosty disk,

Hang in the heavens as a wheel of ice.

Sad the lonely traveler by the inn’s cold window;

The old man goes to sleep in the village pub.

In the Han garden one is shocked by graying hair;

In the Qin tower the lady prepares herself for bed.

Yu Liang’s lines on the moon are recorded by history;

Yuan Hong lay sleepless under the moon in a river boat.

The light that floats in the cup is cold and weak;

The purity shining in the court is strong and full of magic.

At every window are chanted poems to the snow,

In every courtyard the icy crescent is described.

Tonight we share quiet pleasure in the cloister;

When shall we ever all go home together?


Output: Having heard the poem, Monkey went up to him and said, “Master, you only know about the moon’s beauty, and you’re homesick too. You don’t know what the moon’s really about. It’s like the carpenter’s line and compasses—it keeps the heavenly bodies in order. On the thirtieth of every month the metal element of its male soul has all gone, and the water element of its female soul fills the whole disk. That is why it goes black and has no light. That’s what is called the end of the old moon. This is the time, between the last day of the old moon and the first of the new, when it mates with the sun. The light makes it conceive. By the third day the first male light is seen, and on the eight day the second male light. When the moon’s male and female souls each have half of it, the moon is divided as if by a string. That is why it is called the first quarter. On the fifteenth night, tonight, all three male lights are complete, and the moon is round. This is called the full moon. On the sixteenth the first female


Output: the full moon. On the sixteenth the first female principle is born, followed on the twenty-second by the second. At this stage the two souls are matched again and the moon is again divided as if by a string. This is what is called the third quarter. By the thirtieth the three female principles are complete, and it is the last day of the old moon. This is what is meant by ‘prenatal absorption and refinement’. If we are all able gently to raise the ‘double eight’ and achieve it in nine by nine days, it will be easy to see the Buddha and easy to go home again too. As the poem goes:


Output:
After the first quarter and before the third,

Medicines taste bland, with all pneuma signs complete.

When it is gathered and refined in the furnace,

The achievement of the will is the Western Heaven.”

On learning this the venerable elder was instantly enlightened and he fully comprehended the truth, and as he thanked Monkey his heart was filled with happiness. Friar Sand laughed as he stood beside them. “What my brother says is true, as far as it goes,” he commented. “In the first quarter the male is dominant, and after the third quarter the female. When male and female are half and half the metal element obtains water. But what he did not say was this:

Fire and water support each other, each with its own fate;

All depend on the Earth Mother to combine them naturally.

The three meet together, without competing;

Water is in the Yangtze River, and the moon on the sky.”

Hearing this removed another obstruction from the venerable elder’s mind. Indeed:


Output:
When reason fathoms one mystery, a thousand are made clear;

The theory that breaks through non-life leads to immortality.

Whereupon Pig went up to his master, tugged at his clothes, and said, “Pay no attention to all that nonsense, Master. We’re missing our sleep. As for that moon, well:

Soon after it’s defective the moon fills up again,

Just as at birth I too was incomplete.

They complain my belly’s too big when I eat,

And say that I drool when I’m holding a bowl.

They are all neat and blessed by cultivation;

I was born stupid and have a baser fate.

You’ll achieve the Three Ways of existence by fetching the scriptures,

And go straight up to the Western Heaven with a wag of your tail and your head.”

“That will do,” said Sanzang. “Disciples, you’ve had a hard journey, so go to bed. I have to read this sutra first.”


Output:
“You must be wrong, Master,” said Monkey. “You became a monk when you were very young and know all the surras of your childhood by heart. Now you are going to the Western Heaven on the orders of the Tang Emperor to fetch the true scriptures of the Great Vehicle, but you haven’t succeeded yet. You haven’t seen the Buddha or got the scriptures. So what sutra will you read?”

“Ever since leaving Chang’an,” Sanzang replied, “I have been travelling in such a rush every day that I have forgotten the scriptures of my youth. As I have some free time tonight I shall relearn them.”

“In that case we’ll turn in first,” said Monkey. Each of the three of them went to sleep on his rattan bed while their master closed the door of the meditation hall, turned up the silver lamp, and opened out the scroll of scripture, which he silently read. Indeed:

When the first drum sounds in the tower the people are all silent.

In the fishing boat by the bank the fires have been put out.


Output:
If you don’t know how the venerable elder left the temple, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The Royal Ghost Visits the Tang Priest at Night

Wukong’s Magic Transformation Lures the Boy

Sanzang sat in the meditation hall of the Precious Wood Monastery reading the Litany of Emperor Wu of Liang and the Peacock Sutra until the third watch, when he finally put the scriptures back into their bags. Just when he was about to go to bed he heard a rushing noise and the whistling of a fiendish wind. Fearing that it would blow out his lamp, the venerable elder shielded the lamp with his sleeve as quickly as he could. To his consternation the lamp kept going on and off. By now he was so tired that he pillowed his head on the reading desk and took a nap. Although he had closed his eyes and was dozing, his mind stayed wide awake as he listened to the howling of the devil wind outside the window. It was a splendid wind. Indeed, there were

Soughs and whistles,


Output:
Soughs and whistles,

Much scudding away.

It soughs and whistles, carrying the fallen leaves,

Blows the clouds scudding away.

All the stars in the sky go dark,

And the earth is covered with flying dust.

Sometimes fierce,

Sometimes gentle.

When it blows gentle, pine and bamboo sound clear;

When it blows fierce, the lakes have turbid waves.

The mountain birds grieve, unable to reach their perches;

The fish jump restlessly in the ocean.

Doors and windows blow off the halls,

Spirits and demons glare in the side-rooms.

All the vases in the Buddha hall crash to the ground;

The glass lamp is shaken loose and the flame blows out.

Incense-ash scatters as the burner tilts,

The candles flare when their stand leans over.

All the banners and hangings are torn,

As bell and drum towers are shaken to their roots.


Output:
As the wind died down for a while, the elder in his dozy state heard a muffled call of “Master” from outside the meditation hall. He looked up, and in his dream he saw a man standing there soaking wet who was weeping and saying “Master” over and over again.

Sanzang bowed towards him from his seat and said, “You must be a fiend, or a goblin, or an evil spirit or a monster trying to trick me in the middle of the night. But I’m not one given to desire or anger. I’m an upright monk on a pilgrimage to the West at the command of the Tang Emperor of the East to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures. I have three disciples who are all demon-quelling, monster-exterminating heroes. If they see you they will smash your body and bones to bits and pulverize you. But I am full of great compassion and will do what is expedient for you. Make yourself scarce this moment and never come into my meditation hall again.”


Output:
The person stayed there and replied, “Master, I’m not a demon or a ghost or a fiend or an evil spirit.”

“If you’re none of these,” retorted Sanzang, “what are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“Take a good look at me, Master,” he said. When Sanzang took a really careful look he saw to his surprise that

On his head he wore a heaven-touching hat,

And round his waist a belt of blue-green jade.

Dragons and phoenixes danced on his ochre robe;

His no-worry shoes were embroidered with clouds.

The white jade scepter he held was arrayed with constellations.

His face was like the eternal Emperor of Mount Tai,

His form like Wenchang, god of officialdom.

At the sight of him Sanzang turned pale with shock. He bowed at once and called out at the top of his voice, “Which monarch are you, Your Majesty? Please be seated.” He hurried over to support the monarch, only to find he was holding on to thin air. He looked again and saw that the man was still there.


Output:
“Your Majesty,” said Sanzang, “which king are you? What country do you rule? I suppose that you must have fled here in the middle of the night because your country is in chaos or because you are being put upon by malicious ministers. Tell me your story.”

Only then did the man tell what had happened, the tears streaming down his cheeks and his forehead creased with frowns. “Father,” he said, “I live only some fifteen miles to the West of here, in the walled city where my dynasty was founded.”

“What is it called?” Sanzang asked.

“I’m telling you the truth, Father,” he replied. “When I established my regime I changed the name of the state to Wuji.”

“But why is Your Majesty in this terrible distress?” Sanzang continued.

“Father,” the other said, “there was a drought here five years ago so bad that no vegetation grew and the people were dying of starvation. It was appalling.”


Output: Hearing this Sanzang nodded and said with a smile, “Your Majesty, there’s an old saying that Heaven favours a well-governed country. I expect that you were not merciful towards your subjects. Even if there is a famine you have no business to flee from your city. Go back, open up your granaries, and give the people relief. Repent of your past sins and be good from now on. Pardon all those who have been wrongly condemned. Heaven’s heart will of itself be moved in harmony, and wind and rains will come as they should.”


Output: “But our granaries were empty,” the other said. “We had no money or grain left. The salaries of the officials and the military were in default, and we were eating no meat with our royal meals. We followed the example of Yu the Great when he brought the waters under control, sharing weal and woe with our subjects, taking baths to purify ourself, fasting, burning incense and praying day and night. This went on for three years, but the drought continued to be so bad that the rivers and wells dried up. Just when the crisis was desperate a Quanzhen Taoist wizard came from the Zhongnan Mountains. He could summon wind and rain, and turn stones to gold with a touch. First he went to see our civil and military officials, and then he came to see us. We invited him to come to the altar to pray, and he got results. Wherever he pointed his magic wand there would be a torrential downpour. We thought that three feet of rain would be sufficient, but he said that it would not be enough to restore fertility after so long a


Output: be enough to restore fertility after so long a time and gave an extra two inches of rain. Seeing how generous he was we kowtowed to him and took him as our sworn brother.”


Output:
“Then Your Majesty is extremely fortunate,” said Sanzang.

“In what way?” the other asked.

“If that Quanzhen wizard has the powers to make it rain whenever you like and you can get him to turn things to gold at will, then what is so terrible that you have to flee here from your city?”

“We only ate at the same table and slept in the same room for two years. Then one spring day when the red apricot and the peach tree were in blossom all the gentlemen, ladies and princes went out to enjoy the beauty of the season. After the civil and military officials had returned to their offices and the royal spouses and concubines gone back to their quarters we were strolling hand-in-hand with the wizard in the palace garden.


Output:
When we reached the eight-sided well with a glazed-tile top he threw something into the well—we don’t know what it was—that made it shine with golden light. Luring us to the edge of the well to look at this treasure he had the murderous notion of pushing us in with a splash and placing a flagstone over the top of the well. He piled earth over this then put in a plantain on top of it. So we have already been dead for three years, alas. We are the ghost of one who was wickedly murdered by being pushed down a well.”

On learning that he was a ghost the Tang Priest felt weak all over, and his hairs stood on end. But he had to bring himself to continue his questioning. “Your Majesty, what you say is all wrong. If you have been dead for three years, why didn’t the civil and military officials or your queens go looking for you when they attended court for audiences with Your Majesty?”


Output:
“Father,” the ghost replied, “his powers are ones rarely seen in the world. As soon as he had killed us he shook himself and turned into an identical likeness of us. Now he is the master of our country, the secret thief of our territory. Our civil and military officials, the four hundred courtiers, the three queens and the consorts and concubines of the six compounds all now belong to him.”

“You are a coward, Your Majesty,” said Sanzang.

“How are we a coward?” the ghost asked.

“Your Majesty,” said Sanzang, “even if the monster has the magic powers to turn into your double and steal your kingdom, undetected by your civil and military officials or by your queens and consorts, so that only you know the truth and you are dead, why have you not brought a case against him in the Underworld court of King Yama? There you could lodge a complaint and complain of the wrongs you have suffered.”


Output:
“But his magic powers are so extensive and he is so well in with all the relevant officials,” replied the ghost. “He’s always drinking with the city god, and he’s connected with all the dragon kings. The Heaven-equaling God of Mount Tai is a friend of his, and all the Ten Kings of the Underworld are his sworn brothers. We have nowhere to turn if we want to bring a case against him.”

“Your Majesty,” said Sanzang, “if you are powerless to bring a case against him in the Underworld then why come to the world of the living?”


Output:
“Father,” the other replied, “as a ghost of a man unjustly killed I would never have dared call upon you. Outside the monastery gates are the Heavenly Kings who Protect the Law, the Six Dings and the Six Jias, the Protectors of the Four Quarters and the Centre, the Four Duty Gods, and the Eighteen Guardians of the Faith, all with their horses saddled up. It was only a magic wind created by the Patroller of the Night that brought me here. He said that my three years of suffering were due to end and sent me to pay my respects to you, Father. He told me that your senior disciple is the Great Sage Equaling Heaven and that he is a very powerful killer of monsters and subduer of demons. I am here tonight to plead with you and beg you to come to my country, capture the evil monster, and expose his wickedness. We will be deeply grateful and repay you, Master, for your great kindness.”

“Your Majesty,” said Sanzang, “Have you come to ask that my disciple should go to rid you of this fiend?”


Output:
“Yes, that’s right,” the other replied.

“That disciple of mine is good for little else,” said Sanzang, “but subduing demons and capturing monsters is right up his alley. The only thing is, Your Majesty, that even if he’s given the job he may not be able to carry it out.”

“Why not?” the ghost asked.

“Well,” said Sanzang, “That fiend must have stupendous magical powers if he can make himself so much like you that all the civil and military officials at court are happy with him and every one of the consorts and concubines in your harem is fond of him. Even though my disciple has some magic powers he should most certainly not resort to arms lightly. If he is captured and charged with high treason we will be thrown into jail. Then everything will be ruined.”

“But I still have someone I can trust at court,” the ghost said.

“That’s splendid,” said Sanzang, “quite splendid. No doubt it’s a prince or a high official who was sent off to command a garrison somewhere.”


Output:
“No,” replied the ghost, “it’s my son the crown prince who lives in my own palace.”

“But surely the crown prince must have been banished by that fiend.”

“No, he hasn’t been,” the ghost replied. “He spends his time in the throne hall and the Tower of Five Phoenixes studying with learned scholars or sitting beside that wizard on the throne. For the last three years the crown prince has been banned from the queen’s palace and prevented from seeing Her Majesty.”

“Why?” Sanzang asked.

“It has all been planned by that fiend,” said the ghost. “If the prince and his mother were to meet and start talking about things the truth would get out. He can only keep that throne if the two of them don’t meet.”


Output:
“Your troubles, like mine, must have been sent from Heaven,” said Sanzang. “My father was murdered by pirates, one of whom seized my mother. Three months later I was born. I escaped with my life on the river and was rescued by my benefactor, the abbot of the Jinshan Monastery, who brought me up. I remember what it was like to be an orphan child, so I feel very sorry for a crown prince who has lost both his parents. But even though you still have your crown prince in the palace, how ever will I be able to see him?”

“What would stop you?” the ghost asked.

“If he is under such close control from the fiends,” Sanzang replied, “that he can’t even see his own mother, how will a mere monk like myself get to see him?”

“He will be going out tomorrow,” said the ghost.

“Why?” Sanzang asked.


Output:
“Why?” Sanzang asked.

“After tomorrow’s dawn audience,” said the ghost, “he will lead three thousand people riding out of the city with falcons and hounds to go hunting. You will certainly be able to see him. When you do, tell him everything that I have told you and he’ll trust you.”

“But he is only a mortal,” replied Sanzang. “The fiend has him fooled in the palace, and he calls the fiend father several times a day. Why should he believe anything I say?”

“In case he doesn’t I’ll give you something that will be visible proof,” said the ghost.

“What?” asked Sanzang.

The ghost set down the gold-bordered white jade scepter he was holding and said, “This will be proof.”

“Why?” asked Sanzang.


Output:
“Why?” asked Sanzang.

“When the wizard made himself look just like me,” the ghost replied, “there was one treasure he failed to copy. After he went back to the palace he said that the wizard has stolen it, and for the last three years it has been missing. If the crown prince sees it he will be reminded of me and I shall be able to take my revenge.”

“Very well then,” said Sanzang, “I shall keep it and send my disciple to sort things out for you. Will you wait for the crown prince there?”

“I dare not stay there myself,” said the ghost. “I shall have to ask the Patroller of the Night to send another magic wind to blow me into the palace harem to appear in a dream to my first queen to tell her to co-operate with our son, with you, Father, and with your disciples.”

Sanzang nodded and agreed. “Off you go then.”


Output:
Sanzang nodded and agreed. “Off you go then.”

The ghost of the murdered monarch kowtowed to take his leave. Sanzang was just stepping forward to see the ghost out when he tripped and went sprawling, giving himself such a fright that he woke up. So it had all been a dream. In the dim lamplight he called, “Disciples!” with alarm.

“What’s he going on about ‘trifles, trifles’ for?” muttered Pig as he woke up. “How happy I used to be in the old days. I was a real tough guy. I lived on nothing but human flesh and I always ate my fill of it. You would have to be a monk and make us protect you on your journey. You told me I’d be a monk, but now you treat me more like your slave. I have to carry your baggage and lead your horse all day, and empty your chamber-pot and lie at the foot of your bed to warm your feet by night. You never let me get any sleep. Why are you calling for me now?”

“Disciple,” said Sanzang, “I had a strange dream when I dozed off with my head on the table just now.”


Output:
“Master,” said Monkey, springing to his feet, “dreams come from the imagination. You get frightened of demons before you’ve even started to climb a mountain. You worry if you will ever reach the Thunder Monastery as it’s so far away; and you miss Chang’an and wonder when you’ll ever get back there. That’s why you’re so full of anxieties and dreams. Now I’m sincere and single-minded about going to the West to see the Buddha: no dreams ever come to me.”

“Disciple,” said Sanzang, “this dream of mine was no dream of home. No sooner had I closed my eyes than a great wind blew up and a king appeared outside the doors of the meditation hall. He said he was the monarch of the land of Wuji. He was soaking wet and in floods of tears.” Sanzang was just about to tell Brother Monkey all about the dream and everything he had been told in it.


Output:
“No need to tell me any more,” said Monkey. “He came to see you in a dream and was evidently bringing me some business. No doubt some fiend has usurped his throne. I’ll have it out with the fiend. I’m sure I’ll succeed the moment my cudgel hits him.”

“But he told me that the fiend has tremendous magic powers,” warned Sanzang.

“Tremendous, my eye!” said Monkey. “As soon as he realizes that I’ve arrived he’ll regret having nowhere to flee to.”

“I remember that the king also left me a treasure as proof,” said Sanzang.

“Don’t talk such nonsense,” replied Pig. “If you had a dream, that was that. Why all this chitchat?”

”‘Don’t trust what seems to be straighter than straight, and beware that kindness is not really unkindness,’” put in Friar Sand. “Let’s strike a light, open the doors, and see what we can see.”

So Brother Monkey opened the doors, and when they all looked outside they saw by the light of the moon and the stars that a gold-bordered white jade scepter was indeed lying by the side of the steps.


Output:
“What’s this, brother?” asked Pig as he went over and picked it up.

“It’s a treasure called a jade scepter that a monarch holds in his hands,” said Monkey, “and it makes me believe, Master, that the story’s true. I’ll take full responsibility for capturing the fiend tomorrow. But there are three favours I’ll want you to do me.”

“This is great,” said Pig, “really great. First you have a dream, then you have to tell him about it. He tricks people at every turn. Now he’s asking you for three favours.”

Going back inside, Sanzang asked, “What three favours?”

“Tomorrow I want you to suffer on my behalf, be put upon, and catch a fever,” said Monkey.

“Any one of them would be bad enough,” smirked Pig. “I couldn’t possibly take on all three.” Being an intelligent elder, the Tang Priest asked his disciple to explain why he wanted these three things done.

“There’ll be no need for explanations,” said Monkey. “Let me first give you a couple of things.”


Output:
The splendid Great Sage plucked out a hair, blew a magic breath on it, called “Change!” and turned it into a box of red and gold lacquer into which he placed the white jade scepter. “Master,” he said, “at dawn tomorrow you must put on your golden cassock and sit in the main hall of the monastery reciting scriptures with the box in your hands while I go and give that city the once-over. If he really is an evil spirit I’ll kill him, and that will be one more good deed to my credit. If he isn’t, then we won’t get ourselves into trouble.”

“Excellent, excellent,” said Sanzang.

“If the prince doesn’t ride out of the city, that will be that,” said Monkey, “and if he does leave the city as your dream predicted I’ll definitely bring him here to see you.”


Output:
“If he does come to see me, what shall I say to him?” asked Sanzang. “I’ll give you a tip-off just before he comes,” said Monkey. “I want you to open the lid of that box a little while I turn myself into a tiny monk two inches high, then take me into your hands with the scepter. When the prince comes into the monastery he’s bound to worship the Buddhas. No matter how much he prostrates himself you are to pay no attention to him whatsoever. At the sight of you sitting there without moving he’ll certainly have you arrested. Let him arrest you. Let him have you beaten, tied up or even killed if he likes.”

“Goodness!” exclaimed Sanzang. “With all his military authority he might really have me killed, and that would be terrible.”


Output: “No problem,” said Monkey. “I’ll be there. If things get sticky I’ll look after you. If he questions you, tell him that you are the imperially commissioned monk sent from the East to go to the Western Heaven to worship the Buddha, fetch the scriptures and offer some treasures. When he asks you what treasures, tell him about the golden cassock and say, ‘This is my third-grade treasure. I also have very fine treasures of the first and second grade.’ When he asks you about them tell him that in this box you have a treasure that knows everything that has happened or will happen for five hundred years in the past, five hundred years in the present era, and another five hundred years after that—fifteen hundred years in all. Then let me out of the box and I’ll tell the prince everything that you were told in your dream. If he believes me I’ll go to capture the fiend. That will avenge his father and do our reputation a lot of good. But if he still doesn’t believe you, show him the white jade scepter. My only worry


Output: show him the white jade scepter. My only worry is that he may be too young to remember it.”


Output:
Sanzang was delighted with Brother Monkey’s suggestions. “Disciple,” he said, “this is a superb plan. When I talk about my three treasures I can call one of them the golden cassock and another the white jade scepter. But what shall I call the one you turn yourself into?”

“Call it the King-maker,” said Monkey. Sanzang committed his instructions to memory. There was no way that the master and his disciples were going to sleep that night as they waited for the dawn. They only wished that by giving a nod they could make the sun rise, and blow away all the stars in the sky with a puff of breath.


Output:
Before long the Eastern sky did grow lighter. Monkey gave his parting instructions to Pig and Friar Sand: “You mustn’t disturb the monks or go rushing wildly about the place. As soon as we’ve succeeded in our mission we’ll continue on the journey with you.” No sooner had he taken his leave of them than he leapt up into mid-air with a whistling somersault. As he gazed due West with his fiery eyes he did indeed see the city. You may wish to ask how this was possible. We were told before that the city was only some fifteen miles away, so he would have been able to see it from that great height.

Brother Monkey went for a close look and saw thick clouds of demoniacal fog hanging over it, as well as an abundance of evil winds and vapors of injustice. Up in the air Monkey sighed and said,

“Auspicious light would shine all around

If a true monarch now sat on the throne.

But black vapors hang over the gates of the palace

Now that a fiend has made it his own.”


Output:
Now that a fiend has made it his own.”

As he was sighing Monkey heard the clear report of a cannon. The Eastern gate of the city opened, and out poured a column of people and horses. It was indeed an impressive hunting party:

Leaving the Forbidden City at dawn,

They fan out into the bush,

Their coloured flags bright in the sun,

White horses galloping into the wind.

Alligator-skin drums pound

As fencing spears clash together.

Ferocious the corps of falconers,

Martial the masters of the bounds.

Cannons shake the heavens,

While sticky-poles gleam red in the sun.

Each man carries a crossbow;

Everyone has a bow at his waist.

The nets are spread at the foot of the hills,

And snares are set along the paths.

With a noise more frightening than thunder

A thousand horsemen surround a bear.

The cunning hare cannot save itself,

And the crafty river-deer is at its wit’s end.

The foxes are fated to meet their doom,

And death now faces the roebuck.

The mountain pheasant cannot fly away,


Output:
The mountain pheasant cannot fly away,

Nor can its cousin on the plain escape.

They have taken over the mountains to catch wild beasts,

And are destroying the forests to shoot the flying birds.

After they all left the city they ambled through the Eastern outskirts and before long they were on high ground some six miles away where there was a military encampment. There was a very short general wearing a helmet, a breast plate, a sash round his waist, and eighteen metal plates. He held a blue-edged sword and sat astride a yellow charger. At his waist hung a ready-strung bow. Indeed:

He was the image of a monarch,

With an emperor’s noble visage.

His manners were not those of a petty man;

He moved like a true dragon.


Output:
He moved like a true dragon.

As Brother Monkey looked down from mid-air he was delighted. “It goes without saying that he must be the crown prince. I think I’ll play a trick on him.” The splendid Great Sage brought his cloud down to land and charged straight through the soldiers till he was before the crown prince’s horse. Then he shook himself and turned himself into a white hare that started to run around frantically in front of the prince’s horse, to the delight of the prince when he spotted it. Fastening an arrow to his bow, he drew it and hit the hare with his first shot.


Output: Now the Great Sage had deliberately made the prince hit him, and with the quickness of his hand and eye he caught the arrowhead, dropped its feathers on the ground beside him, and started to run. Seeing his arrow hit the jade rabbit, the crown prince gave his horse its head and galloped ahead of the field in pursuit. He did not notice that when his horse galloped fast Monkey went like the wind, and that when the horse slowed down Monkey slowed down too, keeping only a little distance ahead. Watch as he leads the prince for mile after mile until he has lured him to the entrance of the Precious Wood Monastery. Here Monkey turned back into himself. The hare was no longer to be seen. There was only an arrow stuck into the lintel. Monkey rushed inside and told the Tang Priest, “He’s here, Master, he’s here.” Then with another transformation he turned himself into a tiny monk only two inches tall and squeezed into the red box.


Output:
Having chased the jade here as far as the monastery entrance the prince was most surprised when it disappeared and all that could be seen was an arrow fletched with vulture feathers stuck in the lintel.

“That’s odd,” he exclaimed, “very odd indeed. I’m quite sure that I hit the jade here. It can’t have disappeared, leaving only my arrow here. I suppose that over the years the here must have become a spirit.” Pulling his arrow out he saw the words ROYALLY FOUNDED PRECIOUS WOOD MONASTERY written large over the entrance.

“I remember,” he said to himself. “Some years ago when my father was in the palace’s throne hall he sent officials with gifts of money and silk for the monks here to build a Buddha hall with Buddha statues. I didn’t expect to come here today; but, as they say,

To hear the monk’s words when you pass a shrine

Is half a day’s rest from the vanity of life.”


Output:
Is half a day’s rest from the vanity of life.”

The crown prince dismounted and was just on the point of going inside when his personal guards and the three thousand horsemen galloped up in a great crowd, all pushing and shoving to get into the monastery. Deeply alarmed, the monks all came out to kowtow in greeting and lead the prince into the monastery’s main hall, where he worshipped the statues of Buddhas. When he raised his head to look around before taking a stroll along the cloisters to see the sights he noticed a monk sitting right in the middle of the hall. “What effrontery!” he exclaimed. “I, the crown prince, have come to visit this monastery in person today, and although the monks did not have to travel to meet me as they were not notified by royal decree, this monk should at least have got up when I arrived with all my army. How dare he carry on sitting there?” He then

ordered that the monk be arrested.


Output:
ordered that the monk be arrested.

At the word “arrest” the officers standing to either side of the prince all seized Sanzang at once and got ropes ready to tie him up with. Monkey was now silently praying in his box: “Heavenly Kings who protect the dharma, Six Dings and Six Jias, I have a plan to subdue a demon, but this prince doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he’s going to have my master tied up. You must protect him at once. If you allow him to be tied up you’ll all be in trouble.” None of them dared disobey the Great Sage’s secret instructions, and they did indeed protect Sanzang. The officers could not even touch Sanzang’s shaven pate; it was as if he were surrounded by a wall, and they could get nowhere near him.


Output:
“Where are you from, and how dare you insult me with this self-protection magic?” asked the crown prince. Sanzang went up to him, greeted him respectfully, and said, “I have no self-protection magic. I am the Tang Priest from the East going to worship the Buddha, fetch scrip-tares and offer treasures in the Thunder Monastery.”

“Your Eastern lands may be in the central plains,” replied the prince, “but they are extraordinarily poor. What treasures could you possibly have? Tell me.”

“The cassock I am wearing,” said Sanzang, “is the third-grade treasure. I also have treasures of the first and second grade that are much better things.”

“But that cassock only half covers you,” objected the prince. “It can’t possibly be worth enough to deserve being called a treasure.”

“The cassock may not cover both shoulders,” replied Sanzang, “but there is a poem about it that goes:

Of course a monk’s habit leaves one shoulder bare,

But it covers a true Buddha free from worldly dust.


Output:
This was the True Achievement of thousands of needles;

Nine Pearls and Eight Treasures formed its spirit.

Fairies and holy women sewed it reverently

As a gift to a dhyana monk to purify his body.

Failure to greet Your Highness may be overlooked,

But what use is a man who avenges not his father?”

Hearing this put the crown prince into a fury. “You’re talking nonsense, you impudent monk,” he shouted. “You can use your gift of the gab to overpraise your tatty little garment if you like. But you’ll have to tell me what wrongs to my father I’ve failed to avenge.”

Sanzang took a step forward, joined his hands in front of his chest, and said, “Your Royal Highness, how many great kindnesses does a man receive on earth?”


Output:
“Four,” the prince replied. “What are they?” Sanzang asked. “There is the kindness that heaven and earth show by covering and supporting him,” said the prince. “There is the kindness of the sun and moon in giving him light. There is the kindness of his monarch in giving him land and water. And there is the kindness of his parents who rear him.”

“Your Highness is mistaken,” said Sanzang with a smile. “People are only covered and supported by heaven and earth, lit by sun and moon, and provided with land and water by their monarchs. They are not brought up by fathers and mothers.”

“Monk,” roared the prince in anger, “you shaven-headed food-scrounging tramp, you rebel, where would people come from if they did not have parents to rear them?”


Output:
“That is something, Your Highness,” said Sanzang, “that I do not know. But I have in this box here a treasure called the King-maker who knows everything that has happened or will happen for five hundred years long ago, five hundred years in the present era, and five hundred years in the future after that, making fifteen hundred years in all. He will be able to tell us all about not knowing the kindness of being reared by parents. He has made me wait here for a very long time.”

“Bring him out and let me see him,” said the crown prince. As Sanzang opened the lid of the box Brother Monkey jumped out and started rushing around on both sides of it. “A tiny speck of a man like that couldn’t possibly know anything,” said the prince.


Output:
As soon as Monkey heard this objection to his size he used his magic powers to stretch himself till he was three feet four or five inches tall, to the amazement of the soldiers, who said, “If he went on growing at that rate it would only be a day or two before he smashed through the sky.”

Once Brother Monkey was back to his original size he stopped growing. Only then did the prince address him: “King-maker, this old monk says that you know all the good and evil things of the past and the future. Do you use tortoise-shell or milfoil for your divinations? Or do you do it by interpreting sentences from books.”

“I don’t use anything,” said Monkey. “All I need is my three inches of tongue to know everything about everything.”


Output:
“You’re talking nonsense again,” said the prince. “Even since the olden days the Book of Changes has been the best book for predicting the good and bad things that will happen in the world. It tells you what to avoid. That’s why predictions can be made with tortoise-shell or yarrow. Why should I believe a word you say? You’ll be making unfounded predictions of blessings and disasters to stir up trouble.”

“Be patient, Your Highness,” said Monkey, “until you’ve heard what I have to say. You are the eldest son of the monarch of Wuji. Five years ago there was a disastrous drought in your country that caused your people terrible suffering. The king your father and his ministers prayed devoutly for rain, but not a drop fell until a Taoist wizard came from the Zhongnan Mountains who could summon up winds and rain and turn stone into gold. Because the monarch was too fond of the wizard he took the wizard as his sworn brother. Is this all true so far?”

“Yes, yes,” said the crown prince, “go on.”


Output:
“Yes, yes,” said the crown prince, “go on.”

“When the wizard disappeared three years later who was then on the throne?”

“You’re quite right that there was a wizard,” said the prince, “and that His Majesty my father took him as his sworn brother. They slept in the same room and ate from the same table. Three years ago they were enjoying the beauty of the palace gardens when he used a gust of magic wind to seize my father’s gold-bordered white jade scepter and carry it back with him to the Zhongnan Mountains. My father still misses him. Without him my father has no interest in any relaxation, and the palace gardens have been completely shut for the last three years. If the king isn’t my father I’d like to know who else he could be.”

Monkey smiled, and kept on smiling without answering when the prince asked more questions. “Damn you,” said the furious prince, “what do you mean by just grinning at me?”


Output:
“I have a great deal more to say,” Brother Monkey finally replied, “but this is hardly the place to talk with so many people around.” Realizing that there must be something behind this remark the prince dismissed his soldiers with a wave of his sleeve. The officers in attendance passed the order on at once, sending the three thousand soldiers and their horses to pitch camp outside the monastery gates. Now that there was nobody else in the hall of the monastery the prince took the best seat. The venerable elder stood beside the prince with Monkey standing next to him. All the monks of the monastery withdrew.

Monkey then stopped smiling as he stepped forward and said. “Your Highness, it was in fact your very own parent that was carried away by the wind, and it is the rain-making wizard who now sits on the throne.”


Output:
“Nonsense,” said the prince, “nonsense. Ever since the wizard went away my father has kept the weather well regulated, the country strong and the people contented. But you say that he isn’t my father. As I’m of such tender years I’ll spare you; but if His Majesty my father heard you uttering such treason he’d have you arrested and hacked into ten thousand pieces.” He then shouted at Monkey to go away.

“What did I say?” Monkey asked the Tang Priest. “I said he won’t believe me. Oh, well. The only thing I can do now is to give him that treasure in the hope of obtaining a passport so that we can carry on towards the Western Heaven.” Sanzang handed the red box to Monkey, who took it, shook himself, made it disappear—it was, after all, one of his own hairs transformed—and put it back on his body. He then presented the white jade scepter with both hands to the prince.


Output:
“A splendid monk you are, I must say,” exclaimed the crown prince on seeing it. “Five years ago you came here as a Quanzhen wizard to trick my family out of its treasure, and now you’ve come back as a Buddhist monk to present it to me.”

“Arrest him,” the prince shouted, and as the order was passed on Sanzang pointed to Monkey in his terror and panic and said, “You wretched Protector of the Horses. All you can do is cause gratuitous trouble in which you get me involved.” Monkey rushed forward to stop him.

“Shut up,” he said, “or you’ll give the game away. I’m not called King-maker. I have a real name.”

“Come here,” shouted the angry crown prince. “I want your real name so that I can hand you over to the legal authorities for sentence.”


Output: “I am this elder’s senior disciple,” said Monkey. “My name is Sun Wukong. As I’m going with my master on his way to fetch the scriptures from the Western Heaven, we took shelter here last night. My master was reading sutras late last night, and he had a dream in the third watch. In this dream His Majesty your father told my master that the wizard had murdered him by pushing him into the eight-sided well with glazed tiles in the palace gardens. The wizard then turned himself into such a good likeness of your father that none of the officials at court could tell the difference. You were too young to know any better and banned from the harem. The garden was closed. This was because he was afraid that the truth would get out. His Majesty your father came last night specially to ask me to put the fiend down. I was worried in case the present king wasn’t really an evil spirit, but when I took a look from up in the air I saw that he definitely is. I was just going to grab him when you rode out of the city to go


Output: to grab him when you rode out of the city to go hunting. The jade hare you hit with your arrow was me. I led you to this monastery to meet my master. Every word I have told you is the truth. You can recognize that white jade scepter; so why don’t you bow in gratitude to the father who reared you and avenge him?”


Output:
At these words the crown prince was deeply distressed, and he said to himself in his grief, “Perhaps I shouldn’t believe what he says, but it does seem to be rather convincing. But if I do believe him, however can I face my father in the palace?” He was indeed

Caught upon the horns of a dilemma,

Wondering what on earth he ought to do.

Seeing that he was unable to make up his mind, Monkey went up to him and said, “No need for all these doubts, Your Highness. Why don’t you ride back to the capital and ask Her Majesty the queen how the love between her and your father is compared with three years ago. That’s the only question that will prove that I’m telling the truth.”


Output: That changed the prince’s mind for him. “That’s it,” he said, “I’ll ask my mother.” He sprang to his feet, put the scepter in his sleeve and was just about to go when Monkey tugged at his clothes and said, “If all your men and horses go back it’ll give the game away and make it much harder for me to succeed. You must ride back alone and not draw attention to yourself or make a fuss. Don’t go in through the main gate; use one of the back gates instead. And when you enter the women’s quarters in the palace to see your mother, don’t shout or make a lot of noise. You must keep your voice down and talk very quietly. That fiend probably has tremendous magical powers, and once the cat is out of the bag your mum’s life won’t be worth tuppence.”


Output:
The crown prince accepted these instructions with great respect, then went outside the monastery gates to give these orders to his officers: “Stay encamped here and do not move. I have some business to attend to. Wait till I come back and then we shall all return to the capital together.” Watch him:

Giving his orders to the army to encamp,

He rides back to the city as if on wings.

If you don’t know what was said when he met the queen, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Questioning His Mother, the Boy Sorts Right from Wrong

When Metal and Wood Join in the Mystery, Truth and Falsehood Are Clear

If you speak only of the causation arising from birth,

You can be present at the Buddha’s assembly.

The Buddha of the dusty world thinks only peaceful thoughts;

People of all quarters watch while the spirit is subdued.

If you wish to know who is the true monarch,

You must ask the mother who bore you.

You have never yet seen another world;


Output:
You have never yet seen another world;

At every step a new flower appears.

Soon after taking his leave of the Great Sage, the crown prince of Wuji was back in the city. As instructed, he did not make for the main palace gates or announce his arrival, but went straight to a back gate that was kept by some eunuchs. Not daring to stop him, they let him in. The splendid prince rode his horse straight to the foot of the Brocade Fragrance Pavilion, in which sat the queen attended by some dozens of consorts and concubines holding fans. The queen was in tears, leaning against a carved balustrade. Do you know why? It was because she half remembered but had half forgotten a dream she had had in the small hours of the morning. Now she was deep in thought.

The prince dismounted, knelt at the foot of the pavilion and called, “Mother.”


Output:
The queen forced herself to look cheerful and called to him, “What a pleasure to see you, my child, what a pleasure. I’ve been worried about you for two or three years. Despite all my requests to His Majesty your father in the hall of audience I haven’t been able to see you. How ever were you able to get leave to see me today? I’m so, so happy. But why do you sound so sad, child? Your father is getting on now. One day the dragon will have to return to the jade-green sea and the phoenix to the crimson clouds. Then the throne will be yours. So why be so miserable?”

To this the prince replied with a kowtow, “Mother, who is it who now occupies the throne? Who is it who uses the royal ‘we?’”

“The boy’s gone mad,” exclaimed the queen. “It’s your father who’s king. Why do you ask?”

“I beg you, Mother,” said the prince, kowtowing again, “to forgive your son’s crime so that I may ask once more. If you can’t pardon me, I can’t ask.”


Output:
“There can’t be criminal proceedings between mother and son,” the queen said. “You’re forgiven. Now, hurry up and ask.”

“Mother,” said the prince, “I want to ask you whether there is any difference in the affection between you and my father now compared with three years ago.”

The moment the queen heard this her souls went flying and she rushed down to the foot of the pavilion to hug the prince close to her. “Child,” she said as tears flowed from her eyes, “why do you come to the harem after we’ve been kept apart for such a long time to ask me this?”

“Mother,” said the prince in great anger, “tell me at once what you have to say or you will ruin everything.”

The queen ordered her attendants to withdraw, then said in a low and tearful voice, “If you hadn’t asked me about it I would have taken the secret to the grave with me. Now that you have asked, listen while I tell you:

He used to be so passionate and tender,

But three years later on he’s turned to frost.

If I whisper to him warmly on the pillow


Output:
If I whisper to him warmly on the pillow

He pleads old age and says the urge is lost.”

At this the crown prince broke away from his mother’s embrace and remounted his horse. “What’s up, child?” the queen asked, holding on to him. “Why are you off before we’ve even finished our conversation?”


Output:
The prince then knelt before her and said, “I hardly dare tell you, Mother. When I went out hunting this morning with the falcons and hounds His Majesty kindly lent me I happened to meet a holy monk who was on his way to fetch the scriptures. His senior disciple is Sun the Novice, or Brother Sun. He is very good at exorcising demons. It appears that His Majesty my father is dead in the eight-sided well with glazed tiles in the palace gardens, and that the wizard turned himself into my father’s double in order to usurp the throne. In the middle of last night my father came to him in a dream. He asked the priest to come here to capture the fiend. I came to ask you that question because I couldn’t quite bring myself to believe them. From what you have just told me, Mother, I’m now sure he is an evil spirit.”

“You shouldn’t believe what strangers tell you, my son,” said the queen.


Output:
“I wouldn’t have believed him at all,” replied the crown prince, “except that His Majesty my father left proof with him.” When the queen asked what it was, the prince produced the gold-bordered white jade scepter from his sleeve and handed it to her. The queen saw it and recognized it as the king’s treasure. She could not hold back her tears.

“My lord,” she cried out, “why did you never come to me in the three years since you died? Why did you appear to the holy monk and then to the prince first?”

“What do you mean, Mother?” the prince asked.


Output:
“What do you mean, Mother?” the prince asked.

“My child,” said the queen, “I too had a dream in the small hours of the morning. I saw your father standing soaking wet in front of me. He told me himself that he had been killed and that his ghost had called on the Tang Priest to ask him to capture the impostor on the throne and rescue him. I can remember him saying all this, but only very vaguely. I was just wondering about it when you came, asked that question, and showed me the scepter. I’ll keep it, and you go and ask that holy monk to be as quick as possible. Then the evil mists can be swept away, truth can be separated from falsehood, and you can repay His Majesty your father for his

kindness in raising you.”

The prince quickly remounted and went out through the back gate of the palace to get away from the city. Indeed:

With tears in his eyes he took leave of his mother;

Bowed down with grief he returned to Sanzang.


Output:
Bowed down with grief he returned to Sanzang.

He was soon out of the city and back at the gate of the Precious Wood Monastery, where he dismounted amid the greetings of the whole army. It was now almost sunset. The crown prince ordered that the soldiers were to make no unnecessary movements. He then went back into the monastery, neatened up his clothes, and went to pay his respects to Brother Monkey just as he was swaggering out of the main hall.

The prince fell to his knees and said, “Master, I’m back.”

Monkey went over to him to raise him to his feet and said, “Please get up. Who did you question when you went into town?”

“I questioned my mother,” the crown prince replied, going on to tell him everything that had happened.

Monkey grinned slightly as he said, “If he’s that cold he must be a transformation of something icy. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I’ll wipe him out for you. The only trouble is that it’s a bit late to do anything today. Go back now and wait till I come to see you tomorrow.”


Output:
The prince knelt down again, kowtowed and said, “Let me stay here to be at your beck and call till I go in with you tomorrow.”

“No,” said Monkey, “that would be no good. If we two went into town together the fiend would have his suspicions. He wouldn’t think that I’d just met you by chance. He’d say that you’d asked me to come, and then be angry with you.”

“But—he’s going to be angry with me anyhow if I go back to the city now,” replied the prince.

“Why?” asked Monkey.

“Because I’ll have no way to face him when I go back without having caught a single thing after taking out so many men, horses, falcons and hounds on his orders this morning,” said the prince. “If he punishes me for incompetence I’ll be thrown into jail and you’ll have nobody to help you when you go into town tomorrow. And in this whole force there isn’t a single friend of mine.”

“No problem,” said Monkey. “If you’d told me earlier I’d have a good bag ready for you now.”


Output:
Splendid Great Sage. Watch him as he shows off his powers in front of the prince, leaping up into the clouds with a single bound, making the magic with his fingers, and saying the esoteric words, “Om ram Pure Dharma World.”

He made the mountain gods and local deities of the place bow to him in mid-air and say, “Great Sage, what orders do you have for us humble deities?”

To this Brother Monkey replied, “I’ve escorted the Tang Priest this far and now I want to capture a demon. The trouble is that the crown prince has caught nothing on his hunt, so he doesn’t dare return to the palace. I’d like to ask a favour of you all. Will you fetch some river-deer, antelopes, deer, hares, other birds and beasts to send him back with?” None of the mountain gods or local deities dared not to accept this order.

When they asked how many of each were wanted the Great Sage replied, “It doesn’t matter. Just get some.”


Output:
The gods then mustered their invisible soldiers and made a magical animal-gathering wind blow. They caught hundreds and thousands of pheasants, deer, antelopes, river-deer, foxes, badgers, raccoon dogs, hares, tigers, leopards and wolves, which they presented to Monkey.

“I don’t want them,” he said. “I’d like you to hamstring them and set them out on both sides of the fifteen miles of the road back so that the hunters can take them to the capital without having to use their falcons or hounds. That will redound to your credit.” The gods did as they were told, put their magic wind away, and set the prey out beside the road.


Output: Only then did Brother Monkey bring his cloud down to land and say to the prince, “You may go back now, Your Highness. Your bag is set out by the road for you to collect.” After the mid-air display of Monkey’s amazing powers the prince was utterly convinced that this had happened, so he could but kowtow and take his leave. He then went out of the monastery and ordered the soldiers back to the city. There were indeed no end of wild animals by the road that the soldiers could catch with their bare hands, not needing the falcons or dogs. They all cheered the prince and said that this was due to his very good luck, not realizing that it was Monkey’s magical achievement. Just listen to the triumphant songs as they swarm back to the capital.


Output:
Monkey, meanwhile, was guarding Sanzang. Seeing how well the two of them were getting on with the prince, the monks of the monastery had to treat them with great respect. They provided them with vegetarian meals and looked after the Tang Priest, who was still resting in the meditation hall. For nearly a whole watch, or about two hours, Monkey was too troubled to sleep.

He jumped up, went over to the Tang priest’s bed and called, “Master.”

Sanzang was still awake too, but he pretended to be asleep because he knew that Monkey was someone who caused alarms and trouble. So Monkey rubbed Sanzang’s shaven pate and shouted wildly, “Why are you asleep, Master?”

“Wicked creature,” said the Tang Priest angrily, “what are you shouting for at this time of night when you ought to be asleep?”

“But Master,” said Monkey, “there’s something I want to talk about with you.”

“What?” Sanzang asked.


Output:
“What?” Sanzang asked.

“I can’t sleep,” Brother Monkey replied, “because when I was boasting to the crown prince yesterday about how my magical powers were higher than mountains and deeper than the sea I said that I could catch that fiend as easily as taking something out of a bag. I’d only have to stretch out my hand to grab him. Thinking about it I realize it would be difficult.”

“If it is difficult,” said the Tang Priest, “then give up the idea of catching the monster.”

“He’s certainly got to be caught,” said Monkey, “but it isn’t right.”

“You’re talking nonsense, ape,” said the Tang Priest. “The fiend has usurped a throne. What do you mean by ‘it isn’t right?’”


Output:
“All you know about is reciting sutras, worshipping the Buddha, sitting in contemplation and seeking religious instruction,” said Monkey. “You’ve never seen the Legal Code. As the saying goes, ‘You can’t arrest someone for theft without the loot as evidence.’ That fiend has been king for three years now without giving the game away. He sleeps with the consorts and concubines in the harem and shares the pleasures of the civil and military officials at court. I have the power to catch him all right; but it’ll be hard to make the charges against him stick.”

“What do you mean by that?” asked the Tang Priest.

“Even if he normally kept his mouth as shut as an unopened gourd,” said Monkey, “he’ll brazen it out with you and say, ‘I’m the monarch of Wuji. What crime have I committed against Heaven that you should come to arrest me?’ What written documentation have you got to back up your case against him?”

“How would you cope?” asked Sanzang.


Output:
“How would you cope?” asked Sanzang.

“My plan’s already made,” said Brother Monkey with a laugh. “The only thing is that it affects Your Reverence and your favoritism.”

“How do I show favoritism?” the Tang Priest asked.

“Because Pig is so stupid he’s rather a pet of yours.”

“What do you mean by that?” the Tang Priest asked.


Output:
“Well, if he’s not your favorite, be a bit bolder today and agree to stay here with Friar Sand while Pig and I go ahead to the capital of Wuji, find the palace gardens, open up the glazed-tile well, fish out the remains of the dead king, and wrap them up in a carrying-cloth. Then when we go into town tomorrow never mind about the travel documents—as soon as I see the fiend I’ll have my cudgel out to kill him. If he tries to argue, show him the remains and the clothes and say, ‘This is the man you murdered.’ Then bring the crown prince in to mourn his father and the queen to identify the remains of her husband. Let all the civil and military officials see their true lord, and then Pig and I will set to. That’s the only way we’ll be able to win a contested lawsuit afterwards.”

On hearing this the Tang Priest concealed his delight and said, “But Pig might not be willing to go.”


Output:
“There you are,” said Monkey, “I said you showed favoritism. How do you know he won’t want to go? It’s just like the way you refused to respond for a whole hour when I kept trying to wake you. My three inches of tongue could make Pig come with me even if he were a Pig-and-a-half.”

“Very well,” said Sanzang, “call him if you like.”

Monkey then took his leave of the master, went straight to Pig’s bed, and called his name. The idiot was lying with his head hanging down, snoring heavily after his exhausting journey. Mere calling was not going to wake him. Monkey grabbed him by his ears and his bristles, pulled him up, and shouted “Pig!” again. The idiot was

still fast asleep.

When Monkey called him again Pig said, “Go to sleep, and stop fooling around. We’ve got to be on our way again tomorrow.”

“I’m not fooling,” said Monkey. “There’s a piece of business for us two to do.”

“What sort of business?” Pig asked.

“Didn’t you hear the prince telling us?” said Monkey.


Output:
“I didn’t even see him,” said Pig, “let alone hear him say anything.”

“The prince told me that the fiend has a treasure that makes him a match for ten thousand men in a fight,” said Monkey. “When we go into town we’ll have to fight him, and if he has that treasure he’ll beat us. That would be terrible. I reckon that if the other side is stronger than you the best thing to do is to strike first. Wouldn’t be best if the two of us went and stole his treasure?”

“You’re trying to trick me into thieving, brother,” said Pig. “I’ll come in on this bit of business, and I’ll be very useful to you too, but first I want to get something clear with you. When we’ve stolen the treasure and captured the demon I won’t stand for any mean, small-minded sharing out of the treasure. I want the lot.”

“Why?” Monkey asked. “I haven’t got your gift of the gab. I can’t wheedle food out of people. I’m clumsy and rough-spoken, and I can’t recite sutras. When I’m really on my uppers I can always swap it for food.”


Output:
“All I’m interested in is fame,” said Monkey. “I don’t care about treasures. You can have it if you like.” The idiot was so happy to be promised the treasure that he rolled himself out of bed, dressed, and set out with Monkey. It was a case of

Clear wine makes the cheeks go red;

Gold turns everybody’s head.

The two of them opened the door very quietly, left Sanzang and took an auspicious cloud straight to the city.

They were soon there, and as they brought their cloud down to land they heard the drum on the tower being beaten twice. “It’s the second watch, brother,” said Monkey.

“Just right,” said Pig, “just right. Everybody’s fast asleep.” The two of them avoided the main gate and went round to the back gate of the palace, where clappers and bells were being sounded. “Brother,” said Monkey, “it sounds as though there’s an alarm at both front and back gates. How are we going to get in?”


Output: “Who ever heard of burglars going in through the gates?” said Pig. “Let’s go over the wall so that nobody sees us.” Monkey accepted his suggestion, and with a bound he was on top of the inner wall. Pig jumped up too, then the pair of them crept inside and tried to find their way to the palace gardens.


Output:
As they walked along they saw a gate-tower in front of them with triple eaves and white ornaments. On it were two huge words, gleaming bright: ROYAL GARDENS. Going up to it for a closer look Brother Monkey saw that layer after layer of sealing paper had been pasted over the gates, and the locks on them had rusted hard. He then told Pig to get moving. The idiot raised his iron rake and brought it down with all his might on the gates, smashing them to splinters. Monkey was just going to step inside when he was seized with an irresistible urge to leap about and shout, to the horror of Pig who went up to him, grabbed him and said, “You’ll be the death of me, brother. Who ever heard of burglars yelling like that? You’ll wake them up and get us arrested and handed over to for trial. Then it’ll be either a death sentence or being sent home as convicts.”

“Brother,” said Monkey, “do you know why I’m so upset? Just look!

Carved and painted balustrades all in a mess,

Precious pavilions leaning awry.


Output:
Precious pavilions leaning awry.

The sedge and nutweed on the bank are buried.

The peonies and raspberries have been ruined.

Gone is the fragrance of rose and jasmine;

Tree peony and wild lily flower in vain.

Hibiscus and rose of Sharon are overgrown,

And all the precious flowers choked.

The hillocks built from strange-shaped rocks have collapsed;

The fish are dead in the dried-up ponds.

Dry as tinder the pine and bamboo;

Mugwort and wormwood carpet the paths.

Broken the branches of peach and osmanthus,

Twisted the trunks of pomegranate and kerria.

Moss grows on the zigzag way to the bridge:

A desolate garden scene.”

“What are you getting so upset about?” Pig asked. “Let’s get on with our bit of business.” Despite his distress Monkey remembered how in his dream the Tang Priest had been told that the well was under a plantain. As he went further he did indeed see a plantain that was most luxuriant, unlike all the other flowers and trees. Indeed:

It was a divine shoot


Output:
It was a divine shoot

Born with an empty nature.

Papery strips came from every branch,

And all the leaves wrapped up fragrance.

A thousand fine stands of emerald green,

A touch of red at the heart.

It grieved in the cold of autumn rain;

It withered with fear of the autumn winds.

It was grown through the efforts of the gardener,

Raised through the Creator’s work.

Wonderful its value as writing paper,

Marvellous its use for dripping water.

Would that phoenix feathers could have compared;

A phoenix tail was no match for its leaves.

When the ample dew dripped gently

The tree was lightly wreathed in mist.

Its green shade covered the window,

Its jade shadow fell on the frame.

The wild goose could not perch in its fronds,

Nor the charger be tethered to its trunk.

On a frosty day it looked withered;

It was dim in the moonlight.

It could only refresh one in summer’s heat

And offer some shelter from the blazing sun.

It lacked the beauty of peach or plum,


Output:
It lacked the beauty of peach or plum,

Standing lonely to the East of the whitewashed wall.

“Set to, Pig,” said Monkey. “The treasure’s buried under the plantain.” The idiot raised his rake in both hands and sent the tree crashing down. Then he rooted in with his snout to a depth of three or four feet, revealing a stone cover.

“We’re in luck, brother,” exclaimed the idiot with delight. “There really is a treasure here under this stone cover. I wonder whether it’s inside a jar or a box.”

“Lift the cover and we’ll see,” said Monkey. With another root of his snout the idiot prized it open. There was a glow of multicolored light, and a bright, white vapor.

“We’re in luck, we’re in luck,” chortled Pig. “The treasure’s shining.”

Going nearer for a closer look they saw that it was in fact the starlight and the moonlight reflected by the water in a well.

“Brother,” said Pig, “you ought to think ahead.”

“What do you mean, think ahead?” asked Monkey.


Output:
“What do you mean, think ahead?” asked Monkey.

“This is a well,” said Pig. “If you’d told me back in the monastery that the treasure was hidden in a well I’d have brought a couple of the luggage ropes along with me and we could have worked out a way of letting me down the well. But how am I going to go down there to fetch the thing empty-handed?”

“Are you willing to go down?” Monkey asked.

“I would if I could,” said Pig, “but there’s no rope.”

“Take that garment off—I know what to do,” said Monkey with a grin.

“I’ve got nothing good enough to be called a garment,” said Pig. “The only thing I could take off is this tunic.”

The splendid Great Sage brought out his gold-tipped cudgel, pulled it at both ends, and said, “Grow!” It grew seventy or eighty feet long. “You hold one end, Pig, and I’ll lower you in,” said Monkey.

“Let me down till I reach the water, brother, and then stop,” said Pig.


Output:
“Understood,” said Monkey. As the idiot clung to the tip of the cudgel Monkey lightly lifted him up and lowered him into the well. Before long Pig had reached the water. As soon as Monkey heard him call out that he was there, Monkey thrust the cudgel down, making the idiot let go of it and tumble in with a splash.

“Heavens, I’m being murdered,” Pig mumbled in the water. “I told you not to let me go when I got to the water, but you pushed me in.”

Monkey pulled his cudgel out and asked with a laugh, “Can you find the treasure, brother?”

“What treasure?” said Pig. “There’s only a wellful of water.”

“The treasure’s at the bottom,” said Monkey, “so go down and have a feel around.” The idiot, who really was a good swimmer, did a surface dive and plunged down. Wow! The well was extremely deep, so he thrust himself even further down, and was suddenly gazing in astonishment at an ornamental arch on which were written the word WATER CRYSTAL PALACE.


Output:
“That’s enough of this,” said Pig with horror. “I’ve taken the wrong turning. I must have blundered into the sea. There are water crystal palaces in the sea, but there couldn’t possibly be one in a well.” What Pig did not realize was that this was the water crystal palace of the Dragon King of the Well.

As Pig was talking to himself a patrolling yaksha opened the gates and shot straight back inside again at the sight of him to report, “A disaster, Your Majesty. A monk with big ears and a long snout has just fallen into the well. He’s dripping wet and stark naked. He’s still alive and is talking for all he’s worth.”


Output:
The news was a great shock to the Dragon King of the Well, who thought, “This must be Marshal Tian Peng. Yesterday evening the Patroller of the Night came with an edict ordering me to send the soul of the king of Wuji to visit the Tang Priest and ask that the Great Sage Equaling Heaven be sent to capture the fiend. I suppose that the Great Sage and the Marshal must be here now. I must be very polite to them and go straight out to welcome them.”

The dragon king neatened up his clothes and went out through the gates at the head of his watery tribe. “Please come in and take a seat, Marshal Tian Peng,” he called at the top of his voice.

This made Pig feel a great deal happier. “So it’s an old friend,” he thought. Without any further thought the idiot went straight into the water crystal palace. He really had no sense of proper behavior, and sat, stark naked as he was, in the place of honour.


Output:
“Marshal,” said the dragon king, “I hear that you have been given a new life, been converted to the Buddhist faith, and are escorting the Tang Priest on his journey West to fetch the scriptures. What bring you here?”

“It’s just as you say. My senior fellow-disciple Monkey sends his respects and has told me to come here to ask you for some kind of treasure.”

“Oh dear,” said the dragon king, “we don’t have any treasure here. I’m no match for the dragon kings of the Yangtse, Yellow, Huai or Ji rivers, who can fly around, do transformations, and get treasure that way. I’ve been stuck here for ages, and not been able to broaden my horizons for many a long month, so how could I possibly get any treasures?”

“Stop trying to fob me off,” said Pig. “Bring out whatever you’ve got.”

“It’s true I do have one treasure,” admitted the dragon king, “but I can’t move it. Perhaps you would like to come and see it for yourself, Marshal.”

“Splendid, splendid, splendid,” said Pig. “I really must have a look.”


Output:
The idiot followed as the dragon king led the way. As they left the halls of the water crystal palace they saw a body six feet long lying in an open corridor. “There’s the treasure,” said the dragon king, pointing to it. When Pig took a closer look he saw to his astonishment that it was the body of a king stretched ramrod-straight and wearing a heaven-touching crown, a robe of yellow ochre, no-worry shoes and a belt of Lantain jade.

“This is no good at all,” chuckled Pig, “no good at all. Can’t call that a treasure. I remember that when I was an ogre in the mountains I often used to make a meal out of things like that. Never mind how many of them I’ve seen—I’ve eaten a lot. There’s no way you could call that a treasure.”


Output:
“There are some things you don’t know, Marshal,” said the dragon king. “It’s the body of the king of Wuji. When he fell into the well I put a face-preserving pearl on him and he has not decomposed. If you were to carry the body up to see the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, and if it could be brought back to life, then you’d get anything you asked for, never mind just treasures.”

“If what you say is right and I carry him up for you, tell me how much you’ll pay me for arranging his funeral,” Pig said.

“Honestly, I don’t have any money,” the dragon king replied.

“So you like making people work for nothing, do you?” said Pig. “No money, no carriage.”

“If you won’t, then please be on your way,” replied the dragon king. Pig left with two hefty yakshas who carried the body outside the palace gates, where they put it down and removed the water-repelling pearl.


Output:
At once there was a watery noise. Pig turned straight back to look, but the water crystal palace had disappeared. After feeling the king’s corpse he floundered around until he was weak from exhaustion, then surfaced and took hold of the wall of the well. “Brother,” he yelled, “lower the cudgel and rescue me.”

“Got a treasure?” asked Monkey.

“No way,” said Pig. “All I found under the water was the Dragon King of the Well who wanted me to carry a corpse up. When I refused he saw me out and the water crystal palace disappeared. I could only grasp that corpse. I was in such a panic that I went weak all over and I can’t move it. Brother, for goodness’ sake rescue me.”

“But that is the treasure,” said Monkey. “Why didn’t you bring it up?”

“I knew he’d been dead for ages,” said Pig, “so what would have been the point?”

“If you won’t bring it up I’m going back,” said Monkey.

“Where to?” Pig asked.

“Back to the monastery and our master to go to bed,” replied Monkey.

“Can’t I come?” said Pig.


Output:
“Can’t I come?” said Pig.

“You’re welcome if you can climb out, but if you can’t, tough luck,” said Monkey. This threw Pig into a panic as he could not climb out.

“Just think,” he called, “a city wall is hard enough to climb. This well narrows towards the top. It’s got round, overhanging walls, all overgrown with very slippery moss because nobody’s drawn water from it for years. How d’you expect me to climb it? Brother, don’t forget we’re good friends. I’m going down to get it.”

“Good,” said Monkey. “Bring it up quick and we’ll go back to bed.” The idiot then did another surface dive and plunged straight down. He groped around till he found the body, dragged it over and carried it up till he

surfaced again.


Output:
surfaced again.

“I’ve brought it up, brother,” Pig called as he supported himself at the side of the well. When Monkey took a good look and saw that Pig really had brought the body up he lowered the gold-banded cudgel back into the well. Pig was so angry that he opened his mouth and bit on the cudgel while Monkey gently lifted him out.

Pig put the corpse down, retrieved his own clothes, and put them back on. Monkey examined the king’s face and saw that it was exactly as it had been in life. “Brother,” he said, “he’s been dead three years. Why is his face so well preserved?”

“You wouldn’t know about that,” said Pig. “The Dragon King of the Well told me that he’d used a face-preserving pearl to stop the body from decomposing.”

“What luck,” said Monkey, “what luck. He hasn’t had his revenge yet, and we’re going to succeed. Put him over your shoulder, brother.”

“Where shall I take him?” Pig asked.

“Take him to see the master,” Monkey replied.


Output:
“Take him to see the master,” Monkey replied.

“What a way to treat me,” grumbled Pig, “what a way. I was fast asleep when that baboon used his slippery tongue to fool me with that talk of a bit of business. Now I’ve done it for him I’ve got to carry this dead body. All this dirty water is dripping down on me and making my tunic filthy. There’s nobody to wash it for me. The patches on the shoulders will get damp on overcast days. I won’t possibly be able to wear it.”

“You carry him to the monastery,” said Monkey, “and I’ll give you something else to wear instead.”

“You’re shameless,” said Pig. “You have well-nigh nothing to wear yourself and you talk of giving me something else.”

“If you’re going to moan like this then don’t carry it,” said Monkey.

“I won’t then,” said Pig.

“Then put your ankles out for twenty strokes of the cudgel,” said Monkey.

“But, brother, your cudgel hits very hard,” protested Pig in panic. “Twenty strokes and I’ll be like this king.”


Output: “If you don’t want a beating then get on with carrying him,” said Monkey. As he really was afraid of a beating Pig dragged the body over, put it across his shoulder and walked out of the palace gardens with an ill grace.


Output: The splendid Great Sage made magic with his hands, said a spell, and blew towards the direction of the wind trigram. At once a tremendous gust of wind plucked Pig out of the palace grounds and over the city wall and moat. The wind then fell, dropping the pair of them on the ground to continue on their way more slowly. The idiot, who was still feeling very hard done by and wanted to get his own back on Monkey, said to himself, “That ape put one over on me, and when we get back to the monastery I’m going to get my own back on him. I’ll tell the master that Monkey can bring the body back to life. When he fails the master will say the Band-tightening Spell and all the brains will be squeezed out of that ape’s head. That’s the only way I’ll be satisfied. No, that’s no good,” he went on to think as he walked along. “If I ask him to revive the body that’ll be too easy for him. He’ll only have to call on the King of Hell and ask for the king’s soul back. The best way will be to ban him from going to the Underworld.


Output: will be to ban him from going to the Underworld. He’ll have to bring the king back to life in the world of the


Output:
living.”

While he was still thinking these thoughts he arrived back at the monastery gates. He went straight in, flung the corpse to the ground right in front of the doors to the meditation hall, and shouted, “Master, come and see a freak.” The Tang Priest, unable to sleep, was talking to Friar Sand about how Monkey had tricked Pig into going and how long they’d been gone when he heard Pig’s shout. The Tang Priest got straight out of bed and said, “See what?”

“Brother Monkey’s grandpa, and I’ve had to carry him back,” said Pig.

“You dreg-guzzling idiot,” said Monkey. “I’ve got no grandpa.”

“Well, brother,” replied Pig, “if he isn’t your grandpa, why did you make me carry him? It was damned hard work.”


Output:
When Sanzang and Friar Sand opened the doors to look they saw that the king’s face was quite unchanged from what it had been in life. “Your Majesty,” said the Tang Priest sorrowfully, “who knows in what earlier life you earned the wizard’s hatred? That must be why when you met in this one he murdered you and snatched you from your wives and children unbeknown to any of the civilian or military officials. What a pity it was that in their ignorance your wives and children should never have burnt incense and offered tea to your spirit.” He broke into sobs and his tears poured down like rain.

“What’s his death to you?” asked Pig, laughing at Sanzang. “He’s not your father or grandfather, so why weep for him?”

“Disciple,” sighed Sanzang, “compassion is the fundamental quality of a monk, and helping others is a monk’s way. How can you be so hard-hearted?”


Output:
“I’m not hard-hearted,” said Pig. “Monkey told me that he could bring this body back to life. Otherwise I wouldn’t have carried it here.” The venerable elder, as easily swayed as ever, was taken in by the idiot.

“Wukong,” he called, “if you have the power to bring this king back to life, it would be a case of saving a single human life being better than building a seven-storied pagoda. For us it would be even better than worshipping the Buddha on Thunder Peak.”

“Don’t believe that idiot’s nonsense, Master,” said Monkey. “By the time people have been dead for three weeks, then five weeks, and finally for seven hundred days, they’ve paid for all their sins in this life and go off to be reborn. He’s been dead for three years now. He’s beyond saving.”


Output:
At this the Tang Priest said, “Oh well, forget it.” Pig was still burning with a sense of injustice. “Master,” he said, “don’t be taken in by him. He’s talking rubbish. You just recite your spell and I guarantee he’ll bring the king back to life for you.” The Tang Priest did indeed say the Band-tightening Spell, which squeezed Monkey so badly that his eyes bulged and his head ached.

If you don’t know how the king was revived, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

A Pill of Red Cinnabar Is Brought from Heaven

After Three Years the Monarch Is Revived

The story tells how the Great Sage Sun, his head aching unbearably, pleaded with his master: “Stop, stop, I’ll bring him back to life.” When Sanzang asked how, Monkey replied, “The only way is to go to the Underworld, find out which of the kings down there has his soul, and ask for it back to revive him with.”


Output:
“Don’t trust Monkey, Master,” said Pig. “He told me earlier there’d be no need to go to the Underworld because he could get him brought back to life in the world of the living. He thought that would be a good way of showing off his powers.”

The venerable elder, taken in once again by this breath of evil, started reciting the Band-tightening Spell, which threw Monkey into such a desperate state that he accepted the condition gladly: “I’ll cure him within the world of the living, I really will.”

“Don’t stop,” said Pig, “carry on saying the spell.”

“You stupid, evil beast,” railed Monkey, “inciting the master to say that spell.” Pig was falling about with laughter.

“Brother, brother, you thought you could put one over on me, but you never imagined I’d put one over on you.”

“Stop, Master, stop,” pleaded Monkey. “I’ll bring him back to life without leaving the world of the living.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Sanzang asked.


Output:
“With a single somersault of my cloud I can rush in through the Southern Gate of Heaven,” said Monkey. “I won’t go to the Palace of the Dipper and the Bull or to the Hall of Miraculous Mist, but straight up to the Tushita Palace in the Lihen Heaven above the Thirty-third Heaven to see the Supreme Lord Lao Zi. I’ll ask him for one of his Nine-cycle Soul-returning Pills and that, I guarantee, will bring him back to life.”

“Off you go then,” said Sanzang, delighted to hear this, “and be as quick as you can.”

“It’s the third watch now; it’ll be after dawn by the time I get back,” said Brother Monkey. “But it’s an awful shame to see that king lying there dead and cold. There ought to be a mourner watching over him and weeping.”

“Don’t tell me,” said Pig, “that ape wants me to be the mourner.”

“You most certainly will be,” said Monkey. “If you don’t weep for him I won’t be able to bring him back to life.”

“You go, brother,” said Pig, “and leave the crying to me.”


Output:
“There’s more than one way of crying,” said Monkey. “Just yelling with your mouth is what they call wailing. Squeezing some tears out is weeping. What we need is sobbing and tears together, and sobbing as though your heart is broken, for really proper weeping and wailing.”

“Shall I give you a demonstration?” asked Pig. He tore a strip of paper from somewhere, twisted it into a spill, and pushed it up his nose twice, which made him sneeze several times. Just watch as the tears come streaming down and his nose runs as he starts to wail. He sobbed and sobbed uncontrollably, talking all sorts of

nonsense as if someone really had just died.


Output:
nonsense as if someone really had just died.

It was so distressing a performance that the Tang Priest started to cry, so upset was he. “That’s just the sort of grief I want,” laughed Monkey, “and you’re not to stop crying. It was you who tricked the master into sending me off, you idiot, and I’ll hear if you stop wailing. Carry on like this and you’ll be fine; but if you stop for even a few moments I’ll give you twenty blows of my cudgel on your ankles.”

“Off you go,” laughed Pig. “Once I get crying like this I can keep it up for a couple of days.” Hearing all this fuss and bother, Friar Sand fetched some incense sticks and lit them as an offering.

“Very good,” said Monkey. “As you are all being so respectful I’ll be able to do my best.”


Output:
Thus the Great Sage left his master and two fellow-disciples in the middle of the night and shot up on a somersault cloud. He went in through the Southern Gate of Heaven, and was as good as his word: he did not go to the Hall of Miraculous Mist or the Palace of the Dipper and the Bull, but took his shining cloud straight up to the Tushita Palace in the Lihen Heaven. No sooner was he inside than he saw the Supreme Lord Lao Zi sitting in his elixir laboratory where immortal boys were using a plantain-leaf fan to fan the furnace where elixir was refined.

When the Supreme Lord saw that Monkey was there he told the boys who were looking after the elixir, “Be very careful: the elixir thief is back.”

Monkey paid his respects with a smile: “How dreary of you, old man. No need to be on your guard against me. I don’t do things like that any more.”


Output:
“Ape,” said Lord Lao Zi, “you stole a lot of my magic pills five hundred years ago when you made havoc in Heaven. The Little Sage Erlang captured you and brought you up here to be refined for forty-nine days in my elixir furnace. Goodness only knows how much charcoal we used up. Since you’ve been lucky enough to escape and be converted to Buddhism, you’ve been escorting the Tang Priest on his journey to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures. When you subdued those monsters on Flat-top Mountain the other day you were very wicked; you refused to give me back my treasures. What are you here for now?”

“I really wasn’t being late with them,” protested Monkey. “When the time came I gave you back your five treasures. What are you being so suspicious of me for?”

“Why have you come sneaking into my palace when you ought to be on your journey?” Lord Lao Zi asked.


Output: “Since last I saw you,” said Monkey, “we’ve come to a country further West called Wuji, where an evil spirit disguised as a Taoist called up wind and rain, murdered the king, and turned himself into the king’s double. Now he’s sitting in the palace. Last night my master was reading sutras in the Precious Wood Monastery when he was visited by the king’s ghost, who begged me to subdue the fiend for him and sort right from wrong. I didn’t know whether to believe this, so I went with my fellow-disciple Pig into the palace gardens that night. We smashed our way in and found where he was buried in an eight-sided well with glazed-tile walls. We fished up his body, and it was in perfect condition. When we went back to the monastery to see my master he ordered me in his compassion to bring the king back to life. He won’t let me go to the Underworld to ask for his soul back: I’ve got to find a way of saving him in the world of the living. The reason I’ve come to pay my respects to you is because there’s no other place


Output: respects to you is because there’s no other place I can get him revived. I beg you, great Patriarch, in your mercy to lend me a thousand of your Nine-cycle Soul-returning Pills to save him with.”