Output: Splendid Monkey gritted his teeth against the pain, took his cudgel in his hand, crossed the ravine, and shouted “Vicious monster!” at the mouth of the cave. The little devil at the gate rushed inside to report that Sun the Novice was yelling at the gates again. The demon king ordered Monkey’s capture. With a great battle-cry a crowd of demons armed with swords and spears opened the gates and shouted, “Get him.” Monkey was indeed too exhausted to fight them. He squeezed himself against the side of the path, shouted, “Change,” and turned himself into a bundle wrapped in a gold-embroidered cloth. As soon as they saw it the little devils picked it up and took it inside. “Your Majesty,” they reported, “Monkey’s a coward. As soon as we shouted ‘Get him’ he was so scared he dropped his bundle and ran.”


Output:
“There won’t be anything in there that’s worth anything,” smirked the demon king. “Probably just some worn-out monks’ habits and old hats. Get them in, and wash and tear them up to use as rags.” One of the little demons took the bundle right inside the cave, not realizing it was really Monkey. “Splendid,” thought Monkey, “they’re carrying the bundle in.” The evil spirit dropped it inside the doors without paying any attention to it.

Splendid Monkey could work transformations within transformations and deceits within deceits. Pulling out one of his hairs he blew on it with magic breath and made it look just like the first bundle. He then turned himself into a fly that perched on the pivot of the door. He could hear Pig grumbling away rather indistinctly, like a hog with swine-fever. When Monkey buzzed over to look for him he found Pig hanging up in the leather sack. Monkey landed on the sack, where he could hear Pig cursing and swearing at the demon.


Output:
“How dare you pretend to be the Bodhisattva Guanyin and trick me into coming here! Then you hang me up and say you’re going to eat me. One day soon my elder brother

Will use his superlative Great Sage powers

And have all you demons caught in a shake.

He’ll open this bag and let me get out

To give you all thousands of thumps with my rake.”

Monkey was delighted to hear this. “The idiot may be a bit stuffy in there, but he’s not running down his colours. I’ll get that demon and have my revenge on him.”

Just as Monkey was working out how to rescue Pig he heard the demon king shouting, “Where are the six warriors?” Six of the little devils who were his friends had been given the title of Warrior. Each one had his own name. They were Mist in the Clouds, Clouds in the Mist, Fire-fast, Windspeedy, Heater and Cooker. The six warriors stepped forward and knelt down. “Do you know where the Old King lives?” the demon asked.

“Yes,” the warriors replied.


Output:
“Yes,” the warriors replied.

“Go tonight to invite His Majesty the Old King here. Tell him that I’ve caught a Tang Priest who I’m going to cook for him, and that this will make him live for another thousand ages.” The six monsters slouched around as they went out with their orders. Monkey flew down from the bag with a buzz and followed the six demons as they left the cave.

If you don’t know how the Old King was invited there, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Fourty-Two

The Great Sage Reverently Visits the Southern Sea

Guanyin in Her Mercy Binds the Red Boy


Output:
Guanyin in Her Mercy Binds the Red Boy

The story tells how the six warriors left the cave and headed Southwest. Monkey thought, “They are going to invite the Old King to eat our master. I’m sure he must be the Bull Demon King. In the old days we got on very well and were the best of friends, but now I’ve gone straight and he’s still an evil monster. Although it’s a long time since I last saw him, I remember what he looks like. I think I’ll turn myself into a Bull Demon King, try to fool them, and see how it goes.” Splendid Monkey gave the six little demons the slip, spread his wings, flew about a dozen miles ahead of them, shook himself, and turned into a Bull Demon King. He pulled out some hairs, shouted, “Change,” and turned them into little devils with dogs, falcons, bows and crossbows as if they were a hunting party in the mountain valley. He then waited for the six warriors.


Output:
As the six warriors were making their way sloppily along they suddenly noticed that the Bull Demon King was sitting in their midst. Heater and Cooker fell to their knees in a panic and said, “Your Majesty, you’re here already.”

Mist in the Clouds, Clouds in the Mist, Fire-fast and Wind-speedy were also all common mortals with fleshly eyes, unable to tell the true from the false, and they too fell to their knees, kowtowed and said, “Your Majesty, we’ve been sent by the Sage Boy King of the Fire-cloud Cave to invite Your Senior Majesty to a meal of Tang Priest meat that will lengthen your life by a thousand ages.”

“Get up, children,” said Monkey, “and come back to my cave with me while I change.”

“There will be no need for all that trouble, Your Majesty,” said the little devils, still kowtowing. “You needn’t go back. It’s a long way, and I’m sure that our king would be angry with us if you did. Please come with us.”


Output:
“What good children,” said Monkey. “Very well then, lead the way. I’m coming with you.” The six little devils pulled themselves together and shouted to clear the way for the Great Sage, who was following them.

They were soon back at the cave. Wind-fast and Fire-speedy rushed in to report, “Your Majesty, His Senior Majesty is here.”

“You’re capable lads to be back so soon,” said the demon king with delight. He then ordered all his commanders to parade his forces with their banners and drums to greet the Old King. All the demon in the cave obediently went out on parade. Monkey threw out his chest and acted very haughtily, braced himself, took back all the hairs he had turned into falconers and huntsmen, then strode straight in through the gates and took the central seat facing South as a monarch.

The Red Boy knelt and kowtowed to him, saying, “Your Majesty, your son pays obeisance.”

“No need for that,” said Monkey. After making four sets of kowtows the demon king stood below his father.


Output:
“What have you asked me here for, boy?” Monkey asked.

“Your stupid son,” said the demon with a bow, “caught someone yesterday—a priest from the Great Tang in the East. I’ve often heard tell that he is someone who has cultivated his conduct for ten lives, and that if you eat a piece of his flesh you’ll live as long as an immortal from Penglai or Yingzhou. I did not dare to eat him by myself, which is why I asked Your Majesty to share the Tang Priest’s flesh and extend your life by a thousand ages.”

At this Monkey looked shocked and asked, “Which Tang Priest, my boy?”

“The one going to fetch scriptures in the Western Heaven,” the demon king replied.

“But isn’t he the master of Sun the Novice?” Monkey asked.

“Yes,” said the demon king.


Output:
“Yes,” said the demon king.

Monkey waved his hand, shook his head and said, “Don’t start trouble with him. Pick a fight with anyone else you like, but not with him. My dear boy, don’t you know what sort of person he is? That ape has vast magic powers and can do all sorts of transformations. When he made havoc in Heaven the Jade Emperor sent a hundred thousand Heavenly soldiers to spread out Heaven-and-earth nets, but they could not catch him. How could you have the nerve to eat his master? Send the priest out his moment, and don’t start trouble with that monkey. If he heard that you’d eaten his master he wouldn’t even need to fight you. He’d just have to poke a hole in the mountainside with that gold-banded cudgel of his to bring the whole mountain tumbling down. Then where would you be able to live, my boy, and who would there be to support me in my old age?”


Output: “What things to say, Your Majesty,” said the demon king. “You’re bolstering him and making me look small. That Monkey and a couple of his fellow disciples were crossing my mountains when I did a transformation and carried his master off. He and Pig traced me to the gates here and talked some nonsense about kinship. I got into such a raging fury that we fought a few rounds. That was all there was to it. He wasn’t anything very special. Then Pig came charging in so I breathed out my True Samadhi Fire and routed him. Monkey was so desperate that he went to ask the dragon kings of the four seas for rain, but they couldn’t put out my True Samadhi Fire. I burnt him so badly that he passed out, then sent Pig off in a great hurry to ask the Bodhisattva Guanyin of the Southern Seas to come. I turned myself into a Guanyin and tricked Pig into coming here: he’s now hanging up in the As-You-Will bag, and I’m going to steam him as a treat for all the underlings. That Monkey was back shouting at our gates again this


Output: Monkey was back shouting at our gates again this morning. I ordered his arrest, and it threw him into such a panic that he dropped his bundle and fled. It was only then that I invited Your Majesty over to see what the Tang Priest looked like in life before we have him steamed for you to eat and become immortal.”


Output:
“My dear boy,” laughed Monkey, “you’re only aware of how you beat him with your True Samadhi Fire. What you forget is that he can do seventy-two transformations.”

“No matter what he turns himself into I can always spot him,” said the demon king, “and I’m sure he won’t dare try another attack here.”

“My son,” said Monkey, “you may be able to recognize him sometimes, but he won’t turn into something big like a wolf, an orangutan or an elephant. If he did he wouldn’t be able to get inside the cave. You’d find it hard to recognize him if he turned into something small.”

“No matter how small he made himself we have four or five little devils on every door. He’ll never be able to get in.”

“You don’t realize that he can turn himself into a fly, or a mosquito, or a flea, or a bee, or a butterfly, or the tiniest of insects. He could even make himself look just like me. You wouldn’t possibly be able to tell.”


Output:
“Don’t worry,” said the demon king. “Even if he had guts of iron and a bronze heart he’d never dare come anywhere near here.”

“In that case, dear son,” said Monkey, “what powers do you have that make you more than a match for him, so that you could invite me here today to eat the flesh of the Tang Priest? All the same, I don’t think I’ll have any today.”

“Why not?” the demon king said.

“I’m getting old,” said Monkey, “and your mother keeps nagging at me to do some good works. The only good deed I’m interested in is eating vegetarian food.”

“Your Majesty,” said the demon king, “is this permanent or just for a month?”

“Neither,” said Monkey. “It’s called ‘thunder vegetarianism’. You do it for four days each month.”

“Which four?” the demon asked.


Output:
“Which four?” the demon asked.

“The three days each month with Xin in their names, and the sixth day too. Today is the day Xin You, so that means I ought to be on vegetarian food. Besides, You days are not good for having visitors. But tomorrow I could be back to scrub, wash and steam him myself, and enjoy him with you, my boy.”

This all made the demon king think, “My father usually lives on human flesh, and he’s already lived to be over a thousand. How come he’s now thinking about a vegetarian diet? When you consider all the evil things he’s done, three or four days of vegetarian food a month could never make up for them. There’s something wrong here. It’s very suspicious.” He withdrew and went out through the inner gates, sent for the six warriors, and asked them, “Where was His Senior Majesty when you gave him that invitation?”

“Halfway here,” the little devils replied.

“I thought you were quick,” said the demon king. “Didn’t you go to his place?”

“No,” said the little devils, “we didn’t.”


Output:
“No,” said the little devils, “we didn’t.”

“This is bad,” said the demon king. “I’ve been fooled. It’s not His Senior Majesty.”

The little devils all knelt before him and asked, “Your Majesty, can’t you recognize your own father?”

“He looks and moves just like my father,” said the demon king, “but what he says doesn’t fit. I’m afraid I’ve been taken in and beaten by one of his transformations. I want you all to be very careful. The swordsmen among you must draw your swords, the spearmen sharpen your spears, and those of you who can use staves and ropes get ready to do so. I’m going to question him again and watch what he says. If he really is His Senior Majesty then it doesn’t matter whether we have the feast today, tomorrow or in a month’s time. But if what he says is wrong, then the moment I give a hum you’re all to attack at once.”


Output:
When the little devils had all been given their orders the demon king turned on his heels, went back inside and bowed to Monkey, who said, “No need for all that formality within the family, my boy. Don’t bow. Just say whatever it is you have to say.”

The demon king prostrated himself before Monkey and replied, “Your foolish son actually invited you for two reasons. One was to present you with Tang Priest meat, and the other was to ask you something. When I was out for a spin on my auspicious light the other day I went right up to the ninth level of clouds and bumped into the Taoist Master Zhang Daoling.”

“Do you mean Zhang Daoling the Taoist pope?” Monkey asked.

“Yes,” the demon king replied. “What did he say to you?” Monkey asked.


Output:
“Seeing that your son is complete in all his organs and that the spacing between my forehead, nose and chin is auspiciously even,” the demon king replied, “he asked me the hour, day, month and year of my birth. Your child is too young to remember all that properly. Master Zhang is a brilliant astrologer, and he offered to cast my horoscope. That is what I wanted to inquire about, Your Majesty, so that I can ask him to cast my horoscope next time I meet him.”

This made Monkey chuckle to himself: “What a magnificent demon. I’ve captured quite a few since I became a Buddhist and started escorting the Tang Priest on this journey, but none of them was as sharp as this one. He’s asking me all trivial family details, and I’ll just have to fake up my answers. How could I possibly know when he was born?” The splendid Monkey King was extremely crafty.


Output:
He continued to sit in majesty in the central position, showing not a trace of fear as he replied with his face wreathed in smiles, “Please get up, dear boy. I’m getting so old now that nothing goes the way I want it to any more. I can’t remember just now exactly when you were born. I’ll ask your mother when I go home tomorrow.”

“But Your Majesty is always reeling off the details of my birth-time,” the demon king said, “and telling me I’ll live as long as Heaven. You can’t have forgotten now. It’s outrageous. You’re a fake.” He then hummed the signal and all the demons rushed on Monkey and stabbed at him with their swords and spears.

The Great Sage parried their thrusts with his cudgel, went back to looking like himself again, and said to the evil spirit, “You’re the outrageous one, dear boy. It can’t possibly be right for a son to attack his own father.” The demon king was so overwhelmed with shame that he dared not return Monkey’s look. Brother Monkey then turned into a golden glow and left the cave.


Output:
“Your Majesty, Sun the Novice has gone,” the little devils reported.

“Oh well, that’s that,” said the demon king. “Good riddance. He beat me this time. Shut the gates and say nothing to him. Let’s clean, cook and eat the Tang Priest.”

Laughing aloud as he brandished his cudgel, Monkey went back across the ravine. Hearing this, Friar Sand hurried out of the woods to say to him, “Brother, you’ve been ages. Why are you laughing? I hope it’s because you’ve rescued the master.”

“No, brother,” Monkey replied. “But although I haven’t rescued him yet, I won this time.”

“How?” Friar Sand asked.


Output:
“How?” Friar Sand asked.

“The fiend disguised himself as Guanyin to lure Pig back here and hang him up in a leather bag. I was just trying to work out how to rescue Pig when the demon sent his six so-called warriors to invite the Old King to a meal of the master’s flesh. I reckoned that the Old King was bound to be the Bull Demon King, so I turned myself into his double, went inside, and took the place of honour. He called me ‘Your Majesty’ and ‘father,’ and I replied; and when he kowtowed I sat up straight. It was lovely. I really did win.”

“But while you’ve been scoring easy points the master’s life is in terrible danger,” said Friar Sand.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Monkey. “I’m off to ask the Bodhisattva here.”

“But your back’s still aching,” said Friar Sand.

“Now it isn’t,” said Monkey. “As the old saying goes, when things go well they raise the spirits. Look after the horse and the luggage. I’m off.”


Output:
“You’ve made such an enemy of him,” said Friar Sand, “that I’m scared he’ll murder the master. Be as quick as you can.”

“I’ll be quick,” said Monkey. “I’ll be back in the time it takes to eat a meal.”

Even as he was still speaking, the splendid Great Sage left Friar Sand and set off on the somersault cloud that took him straight towards the Southern Ocean. He had been flying for less than an hour when Potaraka Island came into view. He landed his cloud in an instant and went straight to Raka Crag, where the twenty-four devas asked him as he walked solemnly towards them, “Great Sage, where are you going?”

After Monkey had exchanged courtesies with them he replied, “I would like to see the Bodhisattva.”

“Please wait for a moment while we report to her,” the devas said. Hariti and the other devas went to the entrance of the Tide Cave to report, “Bodhisattva, Sun Wukong has come for an audience.” The Bodhisattva

asked for him to be brought in.


Output:
asked for him to be brought in.

The Great Sage tidied his clothes and obediently walked inside at a respectful pace. When he saw the Bodhisattva he prostrated himself before her. “Wukong,” she said, “why are you here instead of taking Master Golden Cicada to the West to fetch the scriptures?”

“Bodhisattva,” Monkey replied, “your disciple humbly reports that while escorting the Tang Priest on his journey he has reached the Fire-cloud Cave in the Withered Pine Ravine on Mount Hao. An evil spirit called the Red Boy whose title is Sage Boy King has snatched my master. I and Pig found our way to his gates and fought him, but he started a True Samadhi Fire. This makes it impossible for us to beat him and rescue the master. I hurried to the Eastern Sea and asked the dragon kings of the four seas to make rain, but it couldn’t control the flames, and I was badly hurt by the smoke, which all but killed me.”


Output:
“Why did you send for the dragon kings and not for me,” the Bodhisattva asked, “if he has True Samadhi Fire and such great powers?”

“I wanted to come,” Monkey replied, “but I’d been so badly affected by the smoke that I couldn’t ride a cloud. I sent Pig to come and ask you for help instead.”

“But he has not been here,” the Bodhisattva replied.

“That’s just it,” said Monkey. “Before Pig reached this island the evil spirit turned himself into your double, Bodhisattva, lured him into the cave, and has now hung him up in a leather bag ready to be steamed and eaten.”


Output:
When the Bodhisattva heard this she said in a furious rage, “How dare that vicious demon turn himself into my double!” With a roar of anger she flung her precious pure vase into the sea. Monkey was so horrified that his hair stood on end. He rose to his feet, stood below the Bodhisattva’s throne, and said, “If the Bodhisattva does not control her temper I’ll be blamed for talking out of turn and ruining her conduct. This is terrible. You’ve thrown your vase away. Had I known you could have done me a big favour and given it to me.”

Before the words were all out of his mouth the waves of the sea started to dance and the vase emerged from them. It was being carried on the back of a monster. When Brother Monkey took a good look at the monster he saw what it was like:

Where he comes from he is known as Mud-carrier,

Shining in splendor alone beneath the sea,

Knowing Heaven and earth from his ancient obscurity,

And the ways of ghosts and gods from his peaceful hiding-place.


Output:
When concealed he withdraws his head and his tail,

But his legs can make him swim as fast as flying.

On him King Wen drew trigram and Zeng Yuan cast omens;

He always was offered at the court of Fu Xi.

All beauty is revealed by this primal dragon,

Calling up the breakers and making the waves.

Threads of gold sew his carapace together,

And brindling gives the color to the tortoise-shell.

Its back carries the Eight Trigram Ninefold Palace;

Scattered splendor flecks his coat of green.

The dragon king admires him for his courage when alive;

He carries the tablet of Lord Buddha after death.

If you want to know what this creature is called,

He is the wicked tortoise who causes wind and waves.

Carrying the vase on his back, the tortoise crawled ashore, and made twenty-four nods to the Bodhisattva that counted as twenty-four kowtows. Seeing this Monkey laughed to himself as he said, “He must be the vase-keeper. I suppose they ask him for the vase whenever it’s lost.”


Output:
“What is that you are saying, Wukong?”

“Nothing,” Monkey replied.

“Fetch the vase,” the Bodhisattva ordered. Monkey went over to pick it up, but he had no more chance of moving it than a dragonfly has of shifting a stone pillar by even a fraction of an inch. Monkey went back to the Bodhisattva, knelt before her, and said, “Bodhisattva, your disciple cannot move it.”

“All you can do, you ape, is talk,” said the Bodhisattva. “If you can’t even move a vase how can you hope to subdue demons?”

“To be honest, Bodhisattva, I would normally be able to move it, but today I just can’t. I think that being beaten by the evil spirit must have weakened me.”

“It is usually an empty vase,” said the Bodhisattva, “but when I threw it into the sea it went round the Three Rivers, the Five Lakes, the Eight Seas, the Four Streams, and all the brooks, springs, pools and caves to borrow a whole seaful of water. You are nowhere near strong enough to lift a sea up. That is why you can’t move it.”


Output:
“Indeed,” said Brother Monkey, his hands clasped before him, “your disciple didn’t know that.”

The Bodhisattva then stepped forward, gently lifted the vase with her right hand, and placed it on the palm of her left hand. The tortoise nodded to the Bodhisattva again and slipped back into the sea. “So you keep a

domestic cretin to look after your vase,” observed Monkey.

“Wukong,” said the Bodhisattva, seating herself, “the sweet dew in this flask of mine, unlike the dragon kings’ private rain, can extinguish Samadhi Fire. I was going to let you take it, but you cannot move it. Then I thought of asking the Naga Maiden to go with you, but you have not got a kind heart and you are an inveterate deceiver. My Naga Maiden is very lovely, and the vase is precious; if you were to steal either of them I would be much too busy to go looking for you. So you will have to leave something as security.”


Output:
“How sad,” said Monkey, “that you should be so suspicious, Bodhisattva. I’ve never done anything like that since I was converted to the faith. What would you like me to leave as security? You yourself presented me with the brocade tunic I’m wearing. My tiger-skin kilt isn’t worth tuppence, and I need this iron cudgel for self-defense. All that’s left is the band round my head. It’s gold, but you used magic to make it grow into my skull so that is can’t be taken off. If you want security I’d like you to take that. Say a band-loosening spell and take it off. If that won’t do, what else is there?”

“You are a cool customer,” said the Bodhisattva. “I do not want your clothes, your cudgel or your band. Just pluck out one of the life-saving hairs from the back of your head and give me that as your security.”

“But you gave it to me, Your Reverence,” protested Monkey. “Besides, If I pulled one out it would break up the set, and they’d not be able to save my life any more.”


Output:
“Ape,” said the Bodhisattva angrily, “you refuse to pull out one little hair. I do not feel at all like parting with my Maiden.”

“Bodhisattva,” pleaded Monkey, “you are being too suspicious. As they say, ‘if you won’t do it for the monk’s sake do it for the Buddha’s sake. Whatever you do, please, please save my master.” The Bodhisattva

Stepped down with joy from her lotus seat,

Went amid incense to the crag by cloud.

Because the holy monk faced mortal peril

She would deliver him and catch the fiend.

Monkey was absolutely delighted. He invited the Bodhisattva to leave the Tide Cave where the devas were drawn up in line on Pota Cliff. “Let us cross the sea, Wukong,” the Bodhisattva said.

“After you, Bodhisattva,” said Monkey with a bow. “No, after you,” replied the Bodhisattva.


Output:
“I would not dare to show off in front of the Bodhisattva,” said Monkey, kowtowing. “Were I to ride my somersault cloud, Bodhisattva, I fear I might be somewhat exposed, and you’d accuse me of disrespect.” At this the Bodhisattva sent the Naga Maiden to cut a lotus petal from the lotus pool and take it to the water beneath the cliff. “Stand on that petal,” the Bodhisattva said to Brother Monkey, “and I will take you across the sea.”

“But that petal is much too light and thin to take my weight,” said Monkey. “If I fall into the sea my tigerskin kilt will get soaked, and the saltpeter that keeps it soft will be washed out. Then I won’t be able to wear it in cold weather.”

“Get on and see,” shouted the Bodhisattva. Not daring to make any more excuses, Monkey obediently jumped on it. Although it looked so flimsy it was considerably bigger than a sea-going boat once he was aboard.

“It can carry me, Bodhisattva,” he exclaimed with delight.

“Then over the sea with you,” replied the Bodhisattva.


Output:
“But there’s no pole, oars, mast or sail,” said Monkey, “so how can I get over?”

“You will not need them,” said the Bodhisattva, and with a single breath she blew the boat right across to the opposite shore of the Southern Sea of Suffering.

Once his feet were on dry land Monkey smiled and said, “That Bodhisattva really showed off her magic powers by blowing me right across the sea with no trouble at all.”

Instructing all the devas to guard her immortal realm, the Bodhisattva told the Naga Maiden to close the gates of the cave, left the Pota Cliff by auspicious cloud and went over to call, “Where are you, Huian?” Huian was Moksa, the second son of Heavenly King Li, the Pagoda-carrier; he was the disciple whom the Bodhisattva personally taught, and he never left her side. His full title was Huian the Novice, Protector of the Dharma.


Output:
Huian placed his hands together and stood awaiting the Bodhisattva’s orders. “Go straight up to Heaven,” she said, “call on His Majesty your father, and ask him to lend me his Pole Star swords.”

“How many will you need, Mistress?” Huian asked.

“The whole set,” she replied.

Huian then went obediently straight up on his cloud, in through the Southern Gate of Heaven, and into the Cloud-tower Palace, where he kowtowed to his father.

“Where have you come from?” Heavenly King Li asked after greeting him.

“My mistress has been asked by Sun Wukong to subdue a demon,” Huian—or Moksa—replied. “She has sent me to visit you and ask for the loan of your set of Pole Star swords.”


Output:
The Heavenly King then sent Nezha to fetch the thirty-six swords, which he gave to Moksa. “Brother,” said Moksa to Nezha, “would you please pay my respects to our mother. I’m on a very urgent job, and I’ll come to kowtow to her when I bring the swords back.” Taking his leave in a great hurry he brought his auspicious light straight down to the Southern Sea, where he presented the swords to the Bodhisattva.

The Bodhisattva took the swords, threw them into the air, said a spell, and turned them into a thousand-petal lotus throne, on which she took her seat. Monkey grinned to himself and said, “That Bodhisattva is a real skinflint. She has a lotus throne of many colours in her lotus pool already, but she’s too mean to sit on that. She would have to send him off to borrow someone else’s instead.”

“Wukong,” said the Bodhisattva, “be quiet and come with me.” They then both left the coast by cloud. The white parrot flew ahead, while the Great Sage and Huian stood behind her.


Output:
Within moments they saw a mountain-top. “That’s Mount Hao,” said Monkey. “It’s about a hundred and fifty miles from here to the demon’s place.” The Bodhisattva then ordered him to lower the auspicious cloud. She said the magic word “Om” above the summit, whereupon many a god and ghost—all the local spirits of the mountain—emerged from all around the mountain and gathered to kowtow to the Bodhisattva’s lotus throne.

“Do not be afraid,” she said. “I am here to capture this demon king. I want this whole area swept completely clean, with not a living creature left behind within a hundred miles of here. All the baby animals in their dens and fledglings in holes in the trees must be put on the top of this high crag for safety.” Obediently the demons withdrew, and soon they were all back. “Now that the place is clean, you may all return to your shrines,” said the Bodhisattva. She then turned her vase of purity upside-down, letting the water roar out with a noise like thunder. Indeed, it


Output:
Flowed down from the peak,

Smashed through the rocks.

Flowed down from the peak with the force of the sea,

Smashed through the rocks like a mighty ocean.

Black spray rose to the watery heavens,

Great waves coldly reflected the sun.

Jade waves smashed through crags,

While the sea was covered with golden lotuses.

Guanyin displayed her demon-quelling magic,

Producing a fixing dhyana from her sleeve.

She made the mountain a Potaraka Island,

Just like the one in the Southern Sea

Tall grew the rushes, and the epiphyllum tender,

Flowers were everywhere, and the pattra looked fresh.

Parrots perched in the purple bamboos,

And quails were calling amid the verdant pines.

Endless lines of waves as far as the eye could see,

And all that could be heard was the wind on the waters.

The Great Sage Monkey was full of silent admiration: “What great mercy and compassion. If I had that magic power I’d just have tipped the vase over, and to hell with the birds, beasts, reptiles and insects.”


Output:
“Stretch your hand out, Wukong,” said the Bodhisattva. Monkey at once neatened his clothes and put out his left hand. The Bodhisattva drew out her sprig of willow, moistened it in the sweet dew, and wrote “Confusion” on his palm. “Make a fist,” she old him, “and go to challenge the demon to battle. Let him beat you, then draw him back here. I have a Dharma power with which to subdue him.”

Monkey obediently took his cloud straight back to the cave entrance. Brandishing his cudgel with one hand and clenching the other into a fist, he shouted, “Open up, evil spirits.” The little devils scampered back inside to report, “Sun the Novice is here again.”

“Shut the doors tight and ignore him,” said the demon king.

“What a fine son you are,” shouted Monkey, “driving your own father out of doors and refusing to open the doors to him.”

“Sun the Novice is being very abusive,” the little devils came back in to report.


Output:
“Ignore him,” said the demon king. When the doors were still shut after he had called twice, Monkey grew very angry. He raised his iron cudgel and smashed a hole in them.

This threw the little devils into such a panic that they ran tumbling and stumbling in to say, “Sun the Novice has broken the doors down.”

Hearing that the outer doors had been broken down after all the earlier reports the demon king now leapt up and sprang outside brandishing his spear and flinging insults back at Monkey: “You ape, you have no sense at all. I let you off lightly, but you don’t know when enough is enough. You’re trying to bully me again. I’ll make you pay for the crime of smashing down my doors.”

“What about your crime in driving your own father away?” retorted Monkey.


Output:
In his humiliation and anger the demon king thrust his spear at Brother Monkey’s chest. Monkey parried this with his cudgel and hit back. Once they started they fought four or five rounds in which Monkey, one hand holding the cudgel and the other clenched in a fist, gave ground. “I’m going back to get the Tang Priest scrubbed and cleaned,” said the demon.

“You be careful, my boy,” said Monkey. “Heaven can see what you’re doing. You come here.” This stung the demon king into an even greater fury. Running after Monkey he caught him up and took another thrust at him with his spear. Monkey swung back with his cudgel, and after a few more rounds ran away in defeat again. The demon king started to taunt him once more: “Last time you were good for twenty or thirty rounds. But now you’re running away each time we fight. What’s wrong with you?”

“My dear boy,” grinned Monkey, “your father’s afraid you’ll start that fire again.”

“I won’t,” said the demon, “now, come here.”


Output:
“I won’t,” said the demon, “now, come here.”

“If you’re not going to start a fire,” said Monkey, “let’s move away from here. A tough guy doesn’t attack people in front of his own door.” Not realizing that this was a trick, the evil spirit raised his spear and ran after him. Monkey trailed his cudgel and opened his other hand. The demon king then fell into confusion and chased Monkey for all he was worth. The quarry moved like a shooting star, and the pursuer like a bolt that

had just been shot from a crossbow.

Before long Monkey saw the Bodhisattva. “Evil spirit,” he said to the demon, “I’m scared of you. Please spare me. I’m going to where the Bodhisattva Guanyin of the Southern Sea lives. You go home now.” The demon king was not going to believe this, so he gritted his teeth and continued the pursuit. With a shake of his body Monkey hid himself in the Bodhisattva’s divine radiance.


Output:
Seeing that Monkey had disappeared, the evil spirit went up to the Bodhisattva, glared at her, and asked, “Are you reinforcements sent for by Monkey?” The Bodhisattva did not answer.

The demon king then twirled his spear and roared, “Hey! Are you reinforcements sent for by Monkey?” The Bodhisattva again did not answer.

The demon king then thrust his spear straight at the Bodhisattva’s heart, at which she turned into a beam of golden light and rose straight up to the highest heavens. Monkey went up with her and complained, “Bodhisattva, you’ve tricked me again. Why did you act deaf and dumb and say nothing when that demon kept asking you? One thrust from his spear and you ran away. You’ve even ditched your lotus throne.”

“Keep quiet,” the Bodhisattva said, “and see what he does next.”


Output:
Monkey and Moksa stood next to each other up there watching while the demon said with a derisive jeer, “Insolent ape, you didn’t know who you were up against. You didn’t realize what sort of person I am. You fought me and lost several times, and then you sent for that putrid Bodhisattva. One thrust from my spear and she’s disappeared. She’s even left her lotus throne behind. Well, I’m going to sit on it now.” The evil spirit then sat cross-legged in the middle of the throne, imitating the Bodhisattva.

“That’s just marvellous,” said Monkey. “Now you’ve given your lotus throne away.”

“What are you saying now, Wukong?” the Bodhisattva asked.

“What am I saying?” Monkey replied. “I’m saying you’ve given your lotus throne away. That fiend has just sat himself down on it. Would you care to get it back?”

“But I want him to sit on it,” the Bodhisattva said. “He’s so small he’ll sit on it much more safely than you did,” Monkey replied.

“Stop talking,” said the Bodhisattva, “and watch the power of the Dharma.”


Output:
She pointed downwards with her sprig of willow and called. “Turn back.” The colours and auspicious glow of the lotus sea all disappeared, leaving the demon king sitting on the points of swords. “Drive the swords in by hitting their handles with the demon-quelling pestle,” she ordered Moksa.

Moksa then took his cloud straight down and struck over a thousand times with the demon-quelling pestle as if he were ramming down earth to build a wall. The demon was now pouring with blood from his open wounds as the points of two swords both came out through his thighs. Watch the demon as he grits his teeth against the agony. Throwing his spear down he pulled furiously at the swords.

“Bodhisattva,” exclaimed Monkey, “that monster’s not afraid of pain. He’s trying to pull the swords out.”

Seeing this she called to Moksa, “Don’t kill him.” She then pointed her sprig of willow down once more, said the magic word “Om,” and turned all Pole Star swords into halberds with inverted barbs like wolf’s teeth that


Output:
could not be pulled out. This finally made the demon desperate.

Trying to bend the sword-points he pleaded in his agony, “Bodhisattva, your disciple was blind. I failed to recognize your great Dharma powers. I beg you in your mercy to spare my life. I shall never do evil again, and I vow to become a Buddhist and observe the rules of conduct.”

On hearing this the Bodhisattva went down on her golden light with Moksa, Monkey and the white parrot till she was in front of the evil spirit. “Will you really accept my rules of conduct?”

The demon king nodded and said amid tears, “I will accept the rules if you spare my life.”

“Will you join my faith?” the Bodhisattva asked.

“If you spare my life I swear I will,” said the demon king.

“In that case,” said the Bodhisattva, “I shall lay my hands on your head and administer the vows.” From her sleeve she produced a golden razor, with a few strokes of which she shaved the demon’s head into a Mount Tai tonsure, leaving him with a topknot and with three little tufts.


Output:
“Poor evil spirit,” laughed Monkey. “Now you can’t tell whether he’s a boy or a girl. Goodness knows what he’s meant to be.”

“As you have accepted my rules of conduct,” said the Bodhisattva to the demon, “I will not mistreat you. I shall call you Page Sudhana. Do you accept?” The demon bowed in assent, wanting only to have his life spared. The Bodhisattva then pointed at him and called, “Withdraw!” With a crashing sound the Pole Star swords all fell into the dust. The boy was now unharmed.

“Huian,” said the Bodhisattva, “will you take the swords back to the Heavenly Palace and return them to His Majesty your father? You need not come back to meet me: wait with all the devas on the Pota Crag.” As instructed, Moksa took the swords back to Heaven then returned to the Southern Sea.


Output:
Now the boy’s savage nature had not yet been tamed. When he realized that the pain in his legs had gone, that his backside was no longer wounded, and that he had three little tufts of hair on his head he ran over to grab his spear and said to the Bodhisattva, “You don’t have any real Dharma powers that can put me down. It was all just an illusion. I refuse to accept your rules. Take this!”

He jabbed at her face with his spear, making Monkey so angry that he struck at the boy with his cudgel. “Don’t hit him,” the Bodhisattva called out.


Output:
“I have a way of punishing him.” From her sleeve she produced a gold band and continued, “This treasure is one of the three bands—a golden one, tightening one, and a prohibition one—that the Tathagata Buddha gave me when I went to the East to find the pilgrim who would fetch the scriptures. You are wearing the tightening band. The prohibition band was used to subdue the great god guarding the mountain. I have not been able to bring myself to give the golden one away before, but as this demon is being so outrageous he shall have it.”

The splendid Bodhisattva then waved the band in the wind, shouted “Change!” and turned it into five band that she threw at the boy with the command “Fix!” One went over his head, two on his hands, and two on his feet. “Stand clear, Wukong,” the Bodhisattva ordered, “while I say the Gold-band Spell.”

“Bodhisattva,” pleaded Monkey in panic, “I asked you here to subdue the demon, so why ever are you putting a curse on me?”


Output:
“But this will not be the Band-tightening Spell that affects you,” the Bodhisattva explained. “It will be the Gold-band Spell that works on the boy.” Monkey felt easier in his mind as he stood beside the Bodhisattva and listened to her saying the spell. She made magic with her hands and recited the words silently several times over. The evil spirit twisted and tugged at his ears and cheeks, stamped his feet and rolled around. Indeed,

One phrase unites all the words without number;

Boundless and deep is the strength of the Dharma.

If you don’t know how the boy was finally converted, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Fourty-Three

At the Black River a Monster Carries Off the Priest

The Dragon Prince of the West Captures an Alligator


Output:
The story tell how the Bodhisattva recited the spell several times before stopping. Only then did the evil spirit’s agony cease. When he recovered, stood up and looked at himself he found that he had gold bands rounds his neck, hands and feet. They were painfully tight, and try as he would he could not move them at all. The treasures had already taken root in his flesh, and the more he rubbed them the more they hurt.

“There, there, little darling,” mocked Monkey. “The Bodhisattva’s put a lucky amulet ring round your neck to make sure you grow up safely.”

This jibe infuriated the boy, who grabbed his spear once more and started lunging wildly at Monkey. Monkey nimbly avoided it and went behind the Bodhisattva, yelling, “Say the spell, say the spell.”


Output:
The Bodhisattva moistened her willow sprig with sweet dew, and flicked the ambrosial liquid at him with a call of “Together!” The boy dropped his spear and put his hands together in front of his chest, unable to pull them apart. The “Guanyin twist” that some people still have today is what he had. Only when he could not pick up his spear because his hands were inseparably joined did the boy appreciate the deep mystery of the power of the Dharma. He could do no other than lower his head in a kowtow.

The Bodhisattva then recited another true spell and turned her vase over to take back the whole seaful of water. Not half a drop was left behind. “Wukong,” she said to Monkey, “this demon has now surrendered. The only thing is that he still has some wild ideas. He will-only accept the Dharma after he has gone from here to Potaraka Island making a kowtow at every step of the journey. You must go straight back to the cave to rescue your master.”


Output:
“As your disciple has put you to the trouble of this long journey,” said Monkey with a kowtow, “I should see you some of your way back.”

“No need,” said the Bodhisattva. “I am worried for your master’s life.” Brother Monkey then kowtowed to take his leave of her joyfully. The evil spirit was now converted to the True Achievement by Guanyin, who became his fifty-third religious teacher.

The story now turns from how the Bodhisattva won a page boy through her wisdom to Friar Sand, who had long been sitting in the woods waiting for Monkey. When Monkey did not come back he tied the luggage on the back of the horse, and leading it by its bridle with one hand and holding his demon-quelling staff in the other he went out of the pine woods to take a look to the South. Seeing Monkey returning in a very good mood, Friar Sand went up to him and said, “Brother, why has it taken you so long to get back from asking the Bodhisattva to come? I’ve been half dead from worry.”


Output:
“You must have been asleep and dreaming,” said Monkey. “I’ve already brought her here and she has subdued the demon.” Monkey then told him all about the Bodhisattva’s Dharma power. “Let’s go and rescue the master,” said Friar Sand with delight.

The two of them then leapt across the ravine and rushed to the doors, where they tethered the horse. Then they charged in together, their weapons at the ready, and wiped out the devils. They let the leather bag down to release Pig, who thanked Monkey and asked, “Where’s that evil spirit, brother? Just let me have a go at him with my rake; I want to get my own back.”

“Let’s find the master,” said Monkey.

The three of them went right to the back of the cave, where they found their master tied up stark naked and weeping in the rear courtyard. Friar Sand untied him while Monkey fetched his clothes to dress him. The three of them then knelt before him and said, “Master, you have suffered terribly.”


Output:
Sanzang thanked them and said, “Dear disciples, I have put you to great trouble. How was the demon subdued?” Monkey then told him how the Bodhisattva had been asked to come and had taken the boy as her page. (This is what people refer to nowadays when they talk about the page boy submitting to the Bodhisattva, and respecting her as his fifty-third teacher after visiting the Buddha on three occasions.) Monkey told Friar Sand to collect all the valuables in the cave then find some rice to prepare a vegetarian meal for the master. The venerable elder owed his life entirely to the Great Sage Sun; and it was on the Handsome Monkey Spirit that he depended to fetch the scriptures. Master and disciples then left the cave. The horse was saddled up, and once they found the main trail they headed West with wholehearted determination.

One day when they had been travelling for over a month Sanzang heard the sound of a river. “Disciple,” said Sanzang in great alarm, “what river is that?”


Output: “You’re much too much of a worrier, old Master,” laughed Monkey “ever to become a priest. Why should you alone among the four of us hear water? Have you forgotten your Heart Sutra?” “I was taught the fifty-four sentences and 270 words of that sutra on Pagoda Mountain by the Rook’s Nest Hermit in person,” replied Sanzang. “I learned them by ear and I constantly repeat them to myself. Which sentence of it have I forgotten?”


Output:
“Master,” said Brother Monkey, “you’ve forgotten the sentence, ‘There is no sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch and no mental process.’ We men of religion should not look on beauty, hear music, smell sweet fragrances, or taste good flavors. We should not even notice whether we are hot or cold, and our minds should be free from delusion. This is the way to repel the Six Bandits that attack eye, ear, nose, tongue, body and mind. Because of your mission to fetch the scriptures you are constantly worrying. You are afraid of evil monsters because you cling to your body. When you ask for vegetarian food your tongue is moved. If you enjoy a pleasant aroma it stimulates your nose. Sounds startle your ears. By looking at things you fasten your eyes on them. If you will keep on inviting the Six Bandits in over and over again how can you ever expect to reach the Western Heaven and see the Buddha?”

At this Sanzang fell into deep and silent thought for a while, then said, “Disciple,


Output:
When many years ago from my emperor I was parted,

On endless days and nights of travelling I started.

In the mists upon the mountains my grass sandal were worn through;

Many ridges have I climbed in my rain-hat of bamboo.

How often have I sighed when the gibbons call at night?

I cannot bear to listen to birds chirping in the moonlight.

When will I achieve the three Samadhis, I implore,

And obtain the Tathagata’s most wonderful Law?”

When he had heard this Monkey could not help clapping his hands and laughing aloud. “Master,” he said, “you’re suffering terribly from homesickness. If you really want to achieve the three Samadhis it isn’t all difficult. As the saying goes, ‘At the right time the achievement completes itself.’”

“Brother,” said Pig, looking back to him, “if we keep on coming up against such terrible demons we’ll never succeed in a thousand years.”


Output:
“Brother Pig,” said Friar Sand, “you’re as coarse-tongued as I am. Stop irritating Monkey: he might lose his temper. Just keep on carrying your load and one day we’ll finally succeed.”

They walked on as they talked, and the horse’s hoofs never rested until they came to a great black river stretching as far as the eye could see. When the four of them stood on the bank to take a close look they saw

Wave upon turbid wave,

Eddies and muddy whirls.

Wave upon turbid wave churns up the dark waters,

Eddies and muddy whirls looking like grease.

From close up it does not reflect the human image;

For far around not a tree can be seen.

Rolling ink,

Seething ash.

Bubbles that rise are charcoal;

The flying foam is like shoveled coal-dust.

Cattle and sheep will not drink,

Magpie and crow avoid it.

Cattle and sheep will not drink its blackness;

Magpie and crow avoid its vast expanse.

Only the reeds by the bank grow as they should,

While the flowers and grass by the sandbank flourish green.


Output:
The world is full of rivers and lakes,

And many are its streams and marshes and springs,

But of all the places that people have seen in life,

The Black River of the West is not among them.

“Disciples,” asked Sanzang as he dismounted, “why is this river so dark and turbid?”

“Someone’s washed out an indigo dyeing-vat in it,” said Pig. “No,” said Friar Sand, “somebody’s been cleaning their inkstone in it.”

“Stop making silly guesses, you two,” said Monkey, “and let’s work out how we’re going to get the master across.”

“I’d have no problem crossing that river,” said Pig. “I could ride a cloud or swim and be over it before you’d had time to eat a meal.”

“And I could be across in an instant on a cloud or by walking on the water,” said Friar Sand. “It’s easy enough for us,” said Monkey, “but the problem is the master.”

“Disciples,” said Sanzang, “how wide is this river?”

“Three or four miles,” said Pig.

“You three decide which of you will carry me across,” said Sanzang.


Output:
“Pig can carry you,” said Monkey.

“It’d be hard,” said Pig. “If I tried carrying him by cloud we wouldn’t get three feet above the ground. As the saying goes, mortals are heavier than mountains. And if I tried to swim with him on my back we’d both drown.”

As they were talking on the bank a man appeared upstream rowing a little boat. “Disciples,” said Sanzang with delight, “here’s a boat. Let’s ask the boatman to take us across.”

“Boatman,” shouted Friar Sand, “ferry us over.”

“This isn’t a ferry,” replied the man on the boat, “and I couldn’t possibly ferry you over.” “‘Helpfulness first, in Heaven and earth,’” said Friar Sand. “You may not be a ferryman, but we don’t keep coming to pester you. We are Buddhists from the East sent by the emperor to fetch the scriptures. If you could have a little consideration and ferry us over we’d show you our gratitude.”


Output:
At this the boatman brought his craft over to the bank and said as he rested on his oars, “Masters, this boat’s too small to take all of you over.” When Sanzang took a closer look he saw that the boat was carved from a single log with only enough room for two hollowed out in the middle.

“What shall we do?” Sanzang asked. “This boat can take us over in two trips,” said Friar Sand. At this Pig tried what he thought would be a clever way of saving himself some trouble and getting himself well in with the master. “Friar Sand,” he said, “you and Brother Monkey look after the luggage and the horse while I take the master over first. Then the man can come back for the horse. Brother Monkey can jump over the river.”

“Good idea,” nodded Monkey.

While the idiot supported the Tang Priest, the boatman pushed off and rowed straight into the main stream. Once they reached the middle there was a great roar as huge waves blotted out the heavens, and a terrible storm blew up. What a wind!


Output:
The skies were filled with angry clouds;

Towering black waves were whipped up in the river.

The flying sand from the river’s banks was blotting out the sun;

All around the trees went down with cries that rose to heaven.

The churned-up rivers and seas struck terror into dragons,

While trees and flowers perished in the dust.

The blows were like the crash of thunder;

The mighty gusts all roared like hungry tigers.

Crabs, fish and prawns lay down to pray to heaven,

While birds and beasts were driven from their nests.

Disaster struck all boatmen on the lakes;

No human life was safe upon the seas.

The fisherman by the stream could barely hold his spear;

The river boatman could not punt his ferry.

Houses collapsed as bricks and tiles flew;

In the universal terror Mount Tai was shaken.


Output:
In the universal terror Mount Tai was shaken.

This wind was the work of the boatman, who was in fact a monster from the Black River. Watch as the Tang Priest and Pig plunge into the waters, boat and all. They disappeared without a trace, and nobody knew where they had been carried off to.

On the river bank Friar Sand and Monkey were desperate. “What are we to do?” they said. “The master keeps running into disaster. Now he’s in trouble here at the Black River after escaping from the last demon and having a peaceful stretch of his journey.”

“Perhaps the boat capsized,” said Friar Sand, “let’s look for him further downstream.”

“No,” said Monkey, “it can’t be that. If the boat had capsized Pig can swim and he’d certainly have saved the master and raised him above the water. I noticed there was something a bit wrong about the boatman just now, and I’m sure that he caused the wind and has taken the master down under the water.”


Output:
“Why didn’t you say so before?” asked Friar Sand. “Look after the horse and the luggage while I go to look for him in the water.”

“But the water doesn’t look right either,” said Monkey. “I don’t think you’ll be able to.”

“It’s nothing compared to the water in my Shifting Sands River,” said Friar Sand, “I can do it.”

The splendid monk took off his tunic, tied strips of cloth round his wrists and feet, and plunged into the waves with a great splash as he whirled his demon-quelling staff. As he strode through the waters he heard voices, so he drew aside to steal a look. He saw a pavilion, over the doors of which was written large PALACE OF THE GOD OF THE BLACK RIVER IN THE HENGYANG VALLEY.

He could hear a monster saying to himself as he sat there, “It’s been hard work getting him, but this priest is a holy man who has cultivated his conduct for ten lives. One piece of his flesh is enough to make you immortal. I’ve waited for him long enough, and now my ambition has been fulfilled.”


Output:
Then he issued his orders: “Little ones, fetch the metal steamer at once, cook those two monks whole, then write an invitation and deliver it to my second uncle asking him over to eat them as a birthday feast.”

This was too much for Friar Sand’s temper. He beat on the doors with his staff, yelling abusively, “Damned monsters, give me back my master the Tang Priest and my brother Pig this minute!” This gave the demons inside the doors such a fright that they ran in to report, “Disaster!”

“What disaster?” the old monster asked.

“There’s a very sinister-looking monk outside beating at the outer doors and yelling for them.”

At this the monster sent for his armor, which the little demons brought in. When it was all properly tied on he went outside, holding his flail of steel pieces joined together by bamboo-shaped links. He was a vicious sight.

Round eyes gleamed fiery red in a square-cut face;

His blood-red lips were curled round an enormous mouth.

The whiskers of his beard were strands of wire;


Output:
The whiskers of his beard were strands of wire;

The matted hair at his temples was cinnabar red.

He looked like the sinister Year Lord in his might,

With the angry face of furious thunder god.

The iron armor he wore was burnished with flowers,

And many a jewel was set in his golden helm.

Holding the flail of bamboo-shaped steel in his hand,

He stirred up a gale around him as he walked.

At birth he had been a creature of the waters,

But he left his native stream and turned to evil.

If you would like to know the true name of this spirit,

He used to be called the Little Alligator.

“Who’s that beating at my doors?” the demon roared.

“I’ll get you, you ignorant damned devil,” said Friar Sand. “Deceitful monster, disguising a yourself as a boatman and rowing over to snatch my master. Give him back at once and I’ll spare your life.” The demon roared with laughter at this.


Output:
“Monk, you’re throwing your life away,” said the monster. “Your master’s mine now, and I’m going to steam him for a feast. Come here and see if you can beat me. If you can hold out for three rounds I’ll give you your master back; but if you can’t I’ll cook you with him and you can forget all about going to the Western Heaven.”

Friar Sand was now in a towering rage, and he swung at the monster’s head with his staff, which the monster parried with his flail. The pair of them had a fine underwater battle:

The demon-quelling staff and the bamboo-link flail;

Two angry contenders fighting for mastery.

The millennial monster of the Black River,

And a former immortal from the Hall of Miraculous Mist.

One was greedy for Sanzang’s flesh,

The other longed to save the Tang Priest’s life.

As they fought beneath the waters

There was no way they both could succeed.

Frightened shrimps and fishes shook their heads and hid;

Crabs and turtles withdrew into their shells.


Output:
Crabs and turtles withdrew into their shells.

Then with a roll of drums the water palace demons

Joined in the fight and yelled before the gates.

The splendid monk, the true Friar Sand,

Stood all alone and let them see his might.

As they plunged through the waves no victor emerged;

Flail and staff were evenly matched.

All this was because the Tang Priest wanted

To visit the Buddha and fetch the scriptures.

When they had fought thirty rounds without result Friar Sand thought, “This monster is as good a fighter as I am. I’m not going to be able to beat him. I’ll have to lure him out for Monkey to kill.” Friar Sand then pretended to drop his guard and took to his heels trailing his staff behind him.

But instead of chasing him the evil monster said, “Off you go then. I won’t fight you any more. I’m going to write invitations for my guests.”

Friar Sand emerged from the waves snorting with fury. “Brother,” he said when he saw Monkey, “that monster’s outrageous.”


Output:
“You were down a long time,” said Monkey. “Is there an evil spirit? Did you find the master?”

“There’s a pavilion down there,” said Friar Sand, “with ‘Palace of the God of the Black River in the Hengyang Valley’ written over it. I hid there and listened to him talking. He told his underlings to wash the metal steamer ready to cook the master and Brother Pig and sent them to invite his uncle for a birthday feast. It made me so angry that I started beating at his doors. The monster came out with his flail of pieces of bamboo-shaped steel and fought me for ages. We must have gone thirty rounds without either of us coming out on top. I pretended to be beaten to lure him out here so that you could help me, but he was too clever to come after me. He went back in to write invitations, so I came out.”

“What sort of evil being is he?” Monkey asked.

“He looks a bit like a big soft-shelled turtle,” said Friar Sand. “If he’s not one of those he’s an alligator.”

“I wonder who his uncle is,” said Monkey.


Output:
“I wonder who his uncle is,” said Monkey.

Before the words were out of his mouth an old man emerged from a bend in the river, knelt at a great distance from them, and said, “The God of the Black River kowtows to the Great Sage.”

“Weren’t you the evil spirit who rowed the boat?” said Monkey. “Trying to fool us again, are you?”


Output: The old man wept and kowtowed as he replied, “I’m no monster, Great Sage. I’m the real god of this river. The evil spirit came here from the Western Ocean on a flood tide during the fifth month last year. He fought me, and as I’m so old I was no match for him, so he seized my Palace of the God of the Black River in the Hengyang Valley, and killed many of my watery tribe. I had to go to the sea to bring a case against him. But the Dragon King of the Western Sea is his uncle, so of course he threw my case out and told me to turn my palace over to the monster. I tried submitting a protest to Heaven, but I was too humble a river god to obtain an audience with the Jade Emperor. Now that you are here, Great Sage, I’ve come to pay my respects and submit to you. I beg you to avenge me.”


Output:
“From what you say the Dragon King of the Western Sea is in the wrong too,” said Brother Monkey. “Now that the monster has captured my master and my fellow-disciple, announced that he’s going to steam them and invited his uncle, I’ve got to capture him. It’s a good thing you came to tell me. Very well then, river god, you keep an eye on things with Friar Sand here while I go to the sea to arrest that dragon and make him capture the monster.”

“I’m very grateful, Great Sage,” said the river god.

Monkey went by somersault cloud straight to the Western Ocean, where he landed, made water-repelling magic with his hands, and parted the waves. He saw a black fish spirit who was carrying a golden invitation box shoot upstream like an arrow. Monkey met him head-on and smashed his skull open with a single blow of his iron cudgel, sending the poor spirit’s brains flying and splitting his cheeks apart, and with a loud noise it emerged from the water. Monkey opened the box and found in it an invitation that read:


Output:
Your Excellency Second Uncle Ao,

Your nephew Tuo Jie bows in greeting and is deeply grateful for your kind regards. Today I have captured two priests from the East who are great rarities. Not daring to consume them myself, and remembering that your birthday is imminent, I have arranged a simple banquet to wish you eternal life. I beg that you honour me with your illustrious presence.

“That fellow has given me all the evidence I need for my case,” chuckled Monkey, tucking the invitation in his sleeve and carrying on his way. By then a yaksha patrolling the sea had noticed Monkey and rushed straight back to the crystal palace to report to the dragon king, “Lord Monkey, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, is here.”

The dragon king Ao Shun led his watery tribe from the palace to welcome Monkey: “Great Sage, won’t you come into my humble palace for a while and take a cup of tea?”

“I’ve never had a single cup of your tea,” said Monkey, “but you’ve drunk my wine before now.”


Output:
To this the dragon king replied with a smile, “Great Sage, you have always been a faithful follower of the Buddha and have never touched meat or alcohol. You’ve never invited me to drinks.”

“You may never have been over for drinks, but you’re already in trouble for being a boozer,” said Monkey.

“How am I in trouble?” asked Ao Shun with horror. Monkey produced the invitation and handed it to the dragon king.


Output:
At the sight of this the dragon king was scared out of his wits. He fell to his knees in panic, kowtowed and said, “Forgive me, Great Sage. That awful boy is my younger sister’s ninth son. My brother-in-law, her husband, sent the wrong amount of wind and cut down on the rain. A heavenly edict was sent to the human prime minister Wei Zheng, who beheaded him in a dream. I brought my sister here because she had nowhere else to live and bring the boy up. Two years ago a disease killed her, and as the boy was then homeless I sent him to nourish his nature and cultivate the truth in the Black River. I never imagined he’d commit such terrible sins, and now I’ll send people to arrest him.”

“How many fine sons did your sister have?” asked Monkey. “Are they all monsters?”


Output: “Nine,” the dragon king replied. “The other eight have turned out well. The eldest is the Little Yellow Dragon, and he lives in the Huai River. The second is the Little Black Dragon who lives in the River Ji. The third is the Blue-backed Dragon who occupies the Yangtse. The Red-whiskered Dragon is the fourth son, and he holds the Yellow River. The fifth is the Vain-effort Dragon who looks after the bell for the Lord Buddha. Guardian Dragon is the sixth, and he sits guarding the roof of the Heavenly Palace. Respectful Dragon is the seventh; he holds up the winged column at the Jade Emperor’s court. The eighth is Clam Dragon who lives with my eldest brother on Mount Tai. The youngest, Alligator Dragon, has had no particular duties since he is still young. He was only sent to the Black River to nourish his nature last year. He hasn’t yet won himself any fame or been transferred and given a job elsewhere. I never expected that he would disobey me by offending you, Great Sage.”


Output:
When Monkey heard this he laughed and said, “How many husbands has your sister had?”

“Only one,” Ao Shun replied, “the Dragon King of the Jing River. After his execution she lived here as a widow until she died of an illness the year before last.”

“How could one husband and one wife have had so many little bastards?” Monkey asked.

“It’s as the saying goes, there are nine kinds of dragons born, and each one is different,” Ao Shun replied.

“I lost my patience just now,” said Monkey. “With this invitation as evidence I was going to submit a complaint to the Heavenly Court and charge you with conspiring with a monster to kidnap. But from what you tell me the wretch refused to follow your advice, so I’ll let you off this time, partly out of respect for your elder brother and partly because that wretch is too young to know any better. Besides, you didn’t know what was happening. But you must send someone at once to arrest him and rescue my master. Then we’ll decide what to do.”


Output:
Ao Shun then told his son Mo’ang, “Take five hundred of our strongest prawn and fish soldiers to arrest and charge Alligator immediately. At the same time arrange a banquet as an apology to the Great Sage.”

“There’s no need to worry so, Your Majesty,” said Monkey. “I’ve already told you I’ll let you off, so why bother with the banquet? But I would like to go with your son as my master has been wronged and my fellow-disciples are waiting for me.”

The dragon king tried hard to make him stay, but without success. Then a dragon maiden came in with tea, a cup of which Monkey drank standing up before taking his leave of the old dragon and leaving the Western Sea with Mo’ang and his troops. Soon they were back at the Black River, where Monkey said, “Catch the demon, Your Royal Highness, while I wait on the bank.”


Output:
“Don’t worry, Great Sage,” said Mo’ang. “I’ll arrest him show him to you, Great Sage, to sentence and punish, and return your master to you. Only then will I take him back to the ocean and see my father.”

Monkey took leave of him cheerfully, recited the water-repelling spell and made it with his hands, sprang out of the waves, and made straight for the East bank, where Friar Sand and the river god said, “When you went it was by air, so why have you come back from under the water?” Monkey told them all about how he had killed the fish spirit, taken the invitation, charged the dragon king, and brought soldiers back with the dragon prince. Friar Sand was very pleased, and they all stood on the bank waiting.

Prince Mo’ang sent a herald to the gates of the underwater palace to announce to the evil spirit, “Prince Mo’ang, son of the Old Dragon King of the Western Sea, is here.” This news aroused the suspicions of the evil spirit as he sat inside.


Output:
“I sent a black fish spirit with an invitation to my uncle some time ago,” he thought, “and I haven’t had any answer yet. Why is my cousin here instead?”

As he was thinking, a little demon came in from a river patrol to report, “Your Majesty, there’s a detachment of troops camped in the river West of the palace. Their banner says ‘Young Marshal Mo’ang, Crown Prince and Son of the Dragon King of the Western Sea.’”

“That cousin of mine is outrageous,” said the monster. “Presumably my uncle couldn’t come and sent him to the feast instead, but he didn’t have to bring an army with him. Hmm. There must be something up.”

“Little ones,” he said, “get my armor and my steel flail ready in case things turn rough while I go out to greet him and see what’s happening.” On hearing the orders all the devils rubbed their hands and got ready.

When the alligator came out he saw a whole force of sea soldiers camped there on the right:

Embroidered sashes and flying banners,

Coloured halberds brighter than the dawn,


Output:
Coloured halberds brighter than the dawn,

Fine swords coldly gleaming,

Spears with many a handsome tassel,

Bows drawn back like the moon,

Arrows like teeth of wolves,

Dazzling broadswords,

Grit-hard maces.

There were whales, turtles, and clams,

Crabs, tortoises, fish and prawns,

All drawn up by size,

Their weapons as dense-packed as a field of hemp.

Unless ordered by a superior officer

None would dare advance upon them.

When the alligator demon saw them he went straight to the gates of their camp and shouted at the top of his voice, “Cousin, I’m waiting for you here with an invitation.”

A conch patrolling the camp went straight to the commander’s tent to report, “Your Royal Highness, Alligator Dragon is outside with an invitation.”

The prince felt the helmet on his head, tightened the jeweled belt round his waist, picked up a three-edged mace, and hurried out of the camp. “What invitation do you have for me?” he asked.


Output:
Alligator Dragon bowed and replied, “This morning I sent your father an invitation. No doubt he did not think it worth coming and sent you instead. But why did you have to bring an army with you? Why have you encamped here armed to the teeth?”

“What did you invite my father to?” the crown prince asked.

“Since I have been living here as a result of his kindness I have not seen his illustrious countenance for a long time or done my duty by him,” the alligator replied. “Yesterday I caught a priest from the East who has, they say, cultivated his conduct for ten lives in succession. If you eat his body you can live much longer. I wanted to invite uncle to have a look at the priest before I cook him in the steamer as a birthday treat.”

“Complete and utter fool,” yelled the crown prince. “Do you know who that priest is?”

“He’s a priest from the Tang who’s going to fetch scriptures from the Western Heaven,” the demon replied.


Output:
“All you know is that he’s a Tang priest,” said the crown prince. “What you don’t realize is what powerful disciples he has.”

“He’s got one long-snouted one called Pig who I’ve captured already and I’m going to steam with the Tang Priest,” the alligator demon replied. “There’s another disciple called Friar Sand, a dusky fellow with a sinister face who fights with the quarterstaff. He came to my gates yesterday demanding his master. I came out at the head of my river troops and it didn’t take me long to see him off with my steel flail. I don’t see what’s so powerful about him.”


Output: “You still haven’t got the message,” the dragon prince replied. “His senior disciple is the Golden Immortal of the Supreme Ultimate, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven who made havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago. He’s now escorting the Tang Priest on his way to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures in the Western Heaven. He was converted by the compassionate and merciful Bodhisattva Guanyin of Potaraka, who changed his name to Sun Wukong the Novice. Why ever did you have to bring this catastrophe on yourself? He came across a messenger of yours in our ocean, took the invitation, and went straight into our crystal palace to make things very awkward for my father and myself. He has us on a charge of conspiring with evil spirits to kidnap. You’d better bring the Tang Priest and Pig straight to the bank, hand them back to the Great Sage Monkey, and join me in making apologies to him if you want to keep alive. If you even hint at a ‘no’ you can forget about remaining here in one piece.”


Output:
This threw the alligator monster into a terrible rage. “My own cousin taking their side!” he exclaimed. “You’d have me hand the Tang Priest over, but nothing comes that easy in this world. Just because you’re scared of him it doesn’t mean that I am. If he’s really got such powers and he has the guts to go three rounds with me in front of my palace gates I’ll give him his master back. If he’s no match for me I’ll capture him too and cook him with the others. And this time there’ll be no guests or relations; I’ll fasten the doors, my little ones will sing and dance for me, and I’ll sit in the place of honour and have a fine old time bloody well eating them myself.”

“Damned devil,” the crown prince swore back at him, “you’re a disgrace. Even if you’re not going to regard the Great Sage Monkey as a worthy foe will you dare to fight me?”


Output:
“A tough guy is afraid of nobody,” the demon replied. He then called for his armor, at which a host of little devils came forward with his armor and his steel flail. The two of them were now glaring at each other and each wanted to play the hero. The orders were given, the drums rolled, and a fight ensued that was much harder than the one with Friar Sand. What could be seen were:

Dazzling banners,

Gleaming halberds.

The encampment was quickly broken up,

While the gates of the palace were opened wide.

Prince Mo’ang wielded his golden mace;

That alligator parried with his flail.

Fierce were the river soldiers as the cannon roared;

Wild were the ocean warriors as the gong was beaten.

Shrimp fought with shrimp,

And crab with crab.

Whales and giant turtles swallowed red carp;

Bream and carp set mollusks running.

The shark and mullet put the mackerel to flight;

The mussels all panicked when oysters captured clams.

The swordfish barbs were hard as iron rods;


Output:
The swordfish barbs were hard as iron rods;

The barracudas needles were sharper than spears.

Sturgeons chased the white eel;

Perch and herring seized the back pomfret.

The river was full of battling demons,

While both side’s dragon warriors contended.

The long melee stirred up the waves,

And Crown Prince Mo’ang was better than a vajrapani,

As he roared and struck at the head with his mace,

Capturing the alligator who caused the trouble.

The prince pretended to drop his guard with his three-bladed mace. Not realizing that this was a trick, the evil spirit rushed him, whereupon the crown prince skillfully first struck him a blow with the mace on the right arm that made him stumble, caught up with him, then struck at his feet and set him sprawling.


Output:
The ocean soldiers rushed up, seized Alligator, tied both hands behind his back, put an iron chain through his collar bone, hauled him up on the bank, and took him to Monkey, where the prince reported, “Great Sage, I have arrested the alligator demon and am handing him over to you for judgement.”

“You disobedient wretch,” said Monkey when he and Friar Sand saw the demon, “your uncle sent you to live here, build up your nature, and look after yourself. Once you had made your name he was going to transfer you to duties somewhere else. Why did you have to seize the river god’s home and become a bully? Why did you use deception to capture my master and my brother? I was going to hit you, but this cudgel of mine hits so hard that a mere touch of it would finish you off. Where have you put my master?”


Output:
“Great Sage,” replied the demon, kowtowing ceaselessly, “this humble alligator had never heard of your mighty name. But now I have been arrested by my cousin for my disobedience to him and for my flagrant offences against right. I am endlessly grateful to you, Great Sage, for sparing my life. Your master is still tied up in the water palace. If you would take off the chain and untie my hands I will return to the river and bring him back to you.”

“Great Sage,” said Prince Mo’ang who was standing beside them, “he is a vicious and deceitful beast. If you were to release him he might have evil ideas.”

“I know where his place is,” said Friar Sand. “I’ll find the master.”


Output:
He and the river god then leapt into the river and went straight to the doors of the water palace, which were wide open and not guarded by a single soldier. Inside the pavilion they saw the Tang Priest and Pig tied up stark naked. Friar Sand quickly untied the master while the river god released Pig. Next they each carried one up to the surface of the water and then to the bank.

Seeing the evil spirit roped and in chains there Pig raised his rake to strike him and said abusively, “Evil beast, take this from me.”

Monkey held him back, saying, “Spare his life, brother, out of consideration for Ao Shun and his son.”

Mo’ang then bowed and said, “Great Sage, I must not stay here any longer. As I have rescued your master I shall now take this wretch to see my father. You have spared him the death penalty, but my father will not let him off other kinds of punishment. When he has been sentenced he will be sent back to apologize to you again.”


Output:
“Very well then,” said Monkey, “take him away. Give my respects to your father and tell him that I’ll be back to thank him in person another time.” The prince then plunged into the water with his prisoner and took his ocean troops straight back to be Western Sea.

The God of the Black River then thanked Brother Monkey for the recovery of his water palace. “Disciple,” said the Tang Priest, “we’re still on the Eastern bank. How are we going to get across this river?”

“Don’t worry about that, my lord,” said the river god. “Please mount your horse and I will lead you across the river.” The master then rode his horse while Pig led it, Friar Sand carried the luggage, and Monkey supported Sanzang. The river god did water-stopping magic to hold the waters back. In an instant a broad road opened up where the waters had withdrawn; master and disciples crossed to the West bank, climbed it, thanked the river god, and continued on their way. Indeed:

To visit the West the priest they did save;


Output:
To visit the West the priest they did save;

When the river was crossed there was never a wave.

If you don’t know how they visited the Buddha and obtained the scriptures, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Fourty-Four

The Primal Movement of the Dharma Body encounters a Cart

Evil in the Heart's Centre Crossesthe Backbone Pass

There is a poem that goes:

They travel West escaping dangers to seek the scriptures;

Nor can they stop at all the famous mountains.

They press on night and day, starting crows and hares;

The seasons turn amid falling blossom and bird-song.

In the dust under one’s eyes are three thousand worlds;

Four hundred prefectures rest on the head of a staff.

Sleeping in dew and dining on wind they climb the purple slope;

Never knowing when they will be able to start back.


Output:
The story tells how after the dragon prince had subdued the demon and the God of the Black River had divided the waters, master and disciples crossed the Black River and took the main trail West. They faced wind and snow, and traveled under the moon and the stars. After they had been going for a long time it was early spring again.

The sun returns;

All comes back to life.

The sun returns;

Beauty fills the sky like an opened scroll.

All comes hack to life,

As flowers cover the earth with embroidered cushions.

A few snowflakes of plum blossom remain,

While the wheat spreads like a sea of cloud.

In the gentle thaw the mountain spring now flows,

The new shoots grow and cover the burnt-out stubble.

Tai Hao governs the East,

The Wood God rules the dawn.

Above the fragrance and the warming breeze

The clouds disperse and the sun shines anew.

Willows spread their green beside the path,

Enriching rain brings spring to all that lives.


Output:
Enriching rain brings spring to all that lives.

Master and disciples were ambling along enjoying the view when all of a sudden they heard a mighty shout like a war-cry from a thousand throats. Sanzang was terrified. He reined in his horse, unable to take another step forward. “Wukong,” he said, looking back at him, “where is that noise from?”

“It sounded like an earthquake or a landslide,” said Pig.

“Or thunder,” said Friar Sand.

“Or people shouting and horses neighing,” said Sanzang.

“You’re all wrong,” laughed Monkey. “Just wait a moment while I go and take a look.”


Output:
Splendid Monkey. With one bound he was on a cloud and up in the air looking all around. In the distance he could make out a walled city, and when he went close he could see that it had a haze of auspicious light over it with no sign of any evil emanations. “It’s a good place,” he sighed to himself, “but why was there that terrible noise? I can’t see war banners or spears there, and there’s no sound of cannon. So why was there a noise like shouting and neighing?”

Just as he was debating all this with himself he noticed a big crowd of Buddhist monks on a sandbank outside the city gates, pulling a cart. The noise that had startle Sanzang was them all shouting. “King Powerful Bodhisattva.”


Output:
When he slowly lowered his cloud for a better look he saw that the cart was loaded with kiln bricks, tiles, wood and adobe bricks. Above the sandbank was a high ridge, along the top of which ran a narrow track between two great gates. Below the gates the paths all went straight down the steep sides of the ridge: the cart could not possibly be pulled up there. Although the weather was so mild and pleasant the monks were all dressed in rags and looked thoroughly poverty-stricken.

“I suppose they must be building a monastery,” thought Monkey, “and are having to do the work themselves because it’s harvest-time here and they can’t hire any labor.” He was still not sure when he saw two young Taoist priests come swaggering out through the city gates. Just see how they were dressed:

Star crowns on their heads,

Brocade and embroidered clothes.

The star crowns on their heads shine bright,

The brocade and embroidered clothes float like sunset clouds.

On their feet are cloud-treading shoes,


Output:
On their feet are cloud-treading shoes,

Round their waists are silken belts.

Handsome and clever faces, round as the moon;

Bodies as elegant as the immortals in Heaven.

The approach of the Taoists made the Buddhist monks all shake with fear as they redoubled their efforts and pulled harder than ever at the cart.

“Ah!” thought Monkey as he realized what was up. “The monks must be scared of the Taoists. Why else would they be pulling so hard? I’ve heard people tell of a place on the way to the West where they believe in Taoism and persecute Buddhist monks. This must be it. I was going to report back to the master, but he’ll be angry with me if I don’t discover what it’s all about. He’ll say that a clever chap like me ought to be able to find out the truth. I’ll go down and ask what’s happening so I can tell the master.”


Output:
But whom was he to ask? The splendid Great Sage shook himself and turned into the likeness of a wandering Quanzhen Taoist with a food basket over his left arm as he beat on a bamboo drum and sang Taoist songs. Monkey walked towards the city gates and bowed in greeting to the two Taoists, saying, “Humble greetings, elders in the Way.”

“Where are you from, sir?” the Taoists asked, returning his greeting.

“I wander and roam from the corners of the sea to the edge of the sky,” Monkey replied. “I am here today to beg from some pious household. Could you two elders tell me which streets and which alleys in this city love the Way and its followers? I would like to beg for some food.”

“What a depressing way to talk, sir,” said one of the Taoist priests with a laugh.

“What’s so depressing about it?” Monkey asked.

“Isn’t it depressing that you want to beg for food?” asked the priest.

“But we men of religion have to live by begging,” said Brother Monkey. If we don’t, we can’t buy our food.”


Output:
The Taoist priest laughed again and replied, “You’re a stranger here and you don’t know about our city. Here it’s not just the civil and military officials, the rich and the elderly who love the Way and its followers. Young and old, men and women alike, everyone offers us food when they see us. But all that is hardly worth mentioning. By far the most important thing is that His Majesty the king is a devout lover of the Way and its followers.”

“I’m young,” said Monkey, “and I’m a stranger from far away. I didn’t know that. Could I trouble you two elders to do a fellow-believer a favour? Tell me more about what this place is called and how the king shows his love for the Way and its worthies.”

“This country is called Tarrycart,” the Taoist priest replied, “and His Majesty is close to us.”

When Monkey heard this he said with a chuckle, “Can it be that a Taoist priest is monarch?”


Output:
“No,” he replied. “For twenty years there was a drought here, and not a drop of rain fell. Nothing could grow. Everyone—king, ministers, commoners, the high and the humble—all bathed, burnt incense and prayed to Heaven for rain. When they were in really desperate straits three immortals were sent from Heaven to save all living beings.”

“Which three?” Monkey asked.

“Our masters,” the Taoist priest replied.

“May I ask their titles?” Monkey asked. “Our senior master is the Great Immortal Tiger Power,” the Taoist replied, “our second master is the Great Immortal Deer Power, and the third master is the Great Immortal Antelope Power.”

“What sort of magic can your three masters perform?” Monkey asked.


Output:
“They can summon up wind and rain with a flick of the hand,” the Taoist said, “and change water into oil or stone into gold as easily as turning around. Their magic arts enable them to control the creation of heaven and earth, or to alter the positions of the stars. Our king and his ministers treat them with great respect and they are now relations of ours.”

“Your king is very fortunate,” said Monkey. “As the saying goes, magic moves ruler and minister alike. If your masters have those powers and the king treats them as his relations they must have been very good to him. Oh dear! I don’t suppose that a poor Taoist like myself is fated to meet your venerable masters.”

“No, problem about meeting them,” said the Taoist. “We two are his favorite disciples. Besides, our masters are such lovers of the Way and its followers that they only need to hear the word ‘Way’ to come right outside to welcome a visitor. For us to take you in there would be as easy as blowing away ashes.”


Output:
Monkey chanted a deep and respectful “re-e-er” and then said, “I would be very grateful for an introduction. Let’s go in.”

“Wait a moment,” said the Taoist. “You sit here while we finish the jobs we have to do, then we’ll go in together.”

“Priests ought to be completely free and unconstrained,” said Monkey. “What jobs do you have to do?”

The Taoist pointed toward the Buddhist monks on the sandbank and said, “They’re working for us, and we have to call the roll to make sure they don’t start slacking.”

“You elders have got it wrong,” said Monkey with a smile. “We Buddhist and Taoist monks are all men of religion. They shouldn’t be working for us and answering roll-calls.”


Output: “You wouldn’t know that when we were all praying for ram the year the Buddhists were on one side praying to Buddha while we were on the other side praying to the Great Bear. We both asked the court for grain, but the Buddhists turned out to be useless. They got no results by reciting their sutras and didn’t help in the least. It was our masters who came along, called up wind and rain, and saved the people from their distress. The king was so angry with those useless Buddhists that he had their monasteries torn down and their Buddha-statues smashed. He revoked their ordination licenses and refused to let them go home. Instead he gave them to us to work for us as slaves. They do all our cooking and cleaning and they look after our gates. Because our residence out here hasn’t been finished yet we’ve made the Buddhists drag the bricks, tiles and timber here to do the building for us. We two have been sent here to keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t start slacking.”


Output:
When Monkey heard this he held on to them and said through his tears, “I said I wasn’t fated to meet your masters and I was right.”

“Why won’t you meet them?” the Taoist asked.

“I have come here on my wanderings for two reasons,” said Monkey. “One is to make a living, and the other is to find a relation.”

“What relation?” the Taoist asked.

“I have an uncle,” Monkey replied, “who left home to have his head shaved and become a Buddhist monk when he was very young. During a famine years ago he went away to beg. He hasn’t been back since, and I’m looking for him out of a sense of duty to our forebears. I expect he’s been detained here and can’t escape, but there’s no way of knowing. If I could just have a look for him and see him I’d be able to go into town with you after that.”


Output:
“No problem,” said the Taoist. “We’ll sit here while you go down to the sand and check them over for us. Just make sure there are five hundred of them. See if your uncle is among them. If he is, we’ll release him as you’re a fellow Taoist. Then we can go into town together.”

Monkey was very grateful indeed. He bowed to them with his hands raised and headed straight for the sandbank, playing his bamboo drum. Once he was through the two sets of gates and had gone down the ridge the monks all knelt and kowtowed to him.

“Master,” one of the monks said, “we’re not slacking. Every one of the five hundred of us is here and all pulling that cart.”

At this Monkey smiled to himself and thought with a grin he did not show, “Those Taoists have got them so scared that they’re even frightened of an imitation Taoist like me. If I were a real Taoist they’d die of fright.”


Output:
Then Monkey said aloud with a wave of his hands, “Don’t kneel, and don’t be afraid. I’m not the supervisor. I’m here to look for a relation.” Once they heard him talk about looking for a relation, the monks all crowded round, craning forward, coughing and making other noises in their eagerness to be picked out.

“Who’s his relation?” they all wondered. Monkey looked them all over for a while then started chuckling aloud.

“My lord,” the monk said, “if you can’t find your relation among us, what is there to laugh about?”

“Do you know why I’m laughing?” Monkey asked. “It’s because all you monks are failures. You were born under unlucky stars. Your parents were only prepared to let you become monks because you brought them bad luck or because you were destined to have no sisters. Why ever are you working for Taoists like slaves instead of honoring the Three Treasures, respecting the Buddha’s Dharma, reading sutras and performing ceremonies of repentance?”


Output:
“You put us to shame, my lord,” the monk replied. “You must be a stranger here, sir, who doesn’t understand the situation.”

“Indeed I am,” Monkey replied, “and indeed I don’t.”

“Our king,” said the Buddhist monk in tears, “is prejudiced and unreasonable. He only likes the followers of Lao Zi, and he hates us Buddhists.”

“Why?” Monkey asked.

“Because three immortals came here to call up wind and rain,” the monk replied. “They ruined everything for us and won the king’s confidence. He has destroyed our monasteries, revoked our ordination licenses, and refused to let us return to our homes. And the form of forced labor he imposed on us was to give us to the immortals to work for them. It’s unbearably hard. When you come here, wandering Taoist, you will only have to call on the king to be richly rewarded. But any Buddhist monk who comes, whether from around here or from far away, is arrested and put to work for the immortals.”


Output:
“I suppose the Taoists must use some magic powers to worm their way into the king’s confidence,” said Monkey. “Calling up winds and rain is small-time magic used by unorthodox sects, and hardly enough to win a king’s heart.”

“They can refine mercury from cinnabar, sit in meditation, turn water into oil, and change stones into gold,” the monk replied. “They have now built a Temple of the Three Pure Ones where they read scriptures and perform ceremonies to heaven and earth night and day to obtain eternal life for His Majesty. That is why the king’s heart has been moved.”

“So it’s like that, is it?” said Monkey. “You may all go now.”


Output:
“But, my lord, we can’t get away,” the monk replied. “The immortals persuaded the king to have pictures of monks painted, and these have been sent to be displayed in every ward and by every river. Tarrycart is a big country, but in every city, prefecture, county town, village, hamlet, inn and market-place there hangs a picture of Buddhist monks with this notice on it in the king’s own handwriting: Any official who captures a monk will be promoted three grades. Any commoner not holding office who captures a monk will receive a reward of fifty ounces of silver.

That’s why we can’t escape. It’s not just us Buddhist monks. Anyone who’s had a short haircut or who’s bald or whose hair is thinning finds it hard not to get arrested. Agents and policemen are everywhere. There’s no way we can possibly escape. We have no choice: we can only suffer here.”

“In that case you’d all better die,” said Monkey.


Output:
“My lord,” said the Buddhist monk, “many of us have already. There were over two thousand of us altogether, both us local monks and those arrested from elsewhere. Six or seven hundred of us have died and about the same number have killed themselves because they could not bear the pain, the searing heat, the bitter cold, or the local conditions. We five hundred are the only survivors.”

“How have you managed to stay alive?” Monkey asked.

“The rope broke when we tried to hang ourselves, or it did not even hurt when we tried to slit our own throats, or we floated and did not drown when we jumped into the river, or the poison we took didn’t harm us.”

“You’re all very lucky then,” said Monkey. “Heaven has given each of you perpetual life.”

“Sir,” said the monk, “you’ve left one word out. It’s a perpetual life sentence. For our three meals every day all we get is a thin gruel of brown rice. At night we have to sleep on the sandbank in the open. Luckily spirits come to protect us when we close our eyes.”


Output:
“I expect you see ghosts because you’re so exhausted,” said Monkey.

“No,” said the Buddhist monk. “They’re the Six Dings, the Six Jias, and the Guardians of the Faith. But they can only protect us at night, except when they come to save the life of any of us who is on the point of death.”

“That’s very wrong of the spirits,” said Brother Monkey. “They shouldn’t be protecting you like that. They should let you die and be reborn in the Western Heaven as soon as possible.”

“They come to us in our dreams,” said the monk, “and give us advice like, ‘Don’t try to die. Hole out till a holy priest comes from the East, and arhat who will go to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures. He has a disciple of immense magical powers, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven. He has a good and loyal heart, he rights wrongs, he saves those in distress and he helps widows and orphans. Wait till he shows his divine powers, wipes out the Taoist priests, and restores our Dhyana faith to its proper respect.’”


Output:
This pleased Monkey, though he did not show it as he thought,

“Whoever said that Monkey had no powers to his name?

Before I even got here gods and spirits spread my fame.”

He then hurried off, taking his leave of the monks and beating his bamboo drum as he headed for the city gates to see the Taoist priests again. “Which of them is your respected uncle?” they asked.

“All five hundred of them are my relations,” Monkey replied.

“How can you possibly have so many?” they asked again.

“A hundred were my neighbors who lived to the left of us,” Monkey replied, “and another hundred lived to the right. A hundred are my father’s kin, and a hundred are related to my mother. The last hundred are my own friends and acquaintances. If you are willing to release them all, I’ll go into the city with you; but if you won’t, I won’t.”


Output:
“You must be off your head, talking such nonsense,” the Taoist priests replied. “All those Buddhist monks were presented to us by His Majesty. Even if we released just one or two of them we’d have to cover up by handing in sick notes for them to our masters then filling out death certificates. We couldn’t possibly release the whole lot of them. It would be outrageous, quite outrageous. We’d have no servants and the king would be very angry with us. The ward head is always sending officials to check up, and sometimes the king even comes to count them himself. We couldn’t possibly let them go.”

“You couldn’t?” said Monkey.

“No,” the priests replied. By the time he had asked this and been given the same answer three times he was in a terrible rage. He produced his iron cudgel from his ear, created a spell with his hands, made it as thick as a rice bowl, swung it, and brought it down on the Taoists’ faces. The poor Taoists

Fell to the ground with their blood gushing out and their heads split open,


Output:
Wounds that were gaping wide, brains scattered everywhere, both necks broken.

When the Buddhist monks faraway on the strand saw Monkey kill the two Taoists they abandoned their cart and came running over saying, “This is awful, this is awful. You’ve killed the king’s relations.”

“Who are the king’s relations?” Monkey asked.

The monks fenced him in with their earth-moving baskets and said, “Their masters don’t have to greet the king when they enter the throne hall or take leave of him when they go. The king addresses them as ‘Elder Brother Teacher’. Why did you have to come here to get us into this terrible trouble. It was nothing to do with you that their disciples came to supervise the work. What’s to become of us now that they’ve been killed? We’ll have to take you into town to report their deaths.”

“Do stop that yelling, gentlemen,” said Monkey with a smile. “I’m not really a wandering Quanzhen Taoist. I’m here to rescue you.”