Output:
“If I’m not an immortal,” said Monkey, “I don’t know who is.” By now the devils’ anger had given way to delight.

“Venerable immortal,” they said, “venerable immortal, please don’t take offence at our rudeness. It was only because our common mortal eyes failed to recognize you.”

“I don’t hold it against you,” said Monkey. “As the saying goes, ‘An immortal body does not tread the common ground.’ You couldn’t be expected to know. I’ve come to your mountain today to bring over a virtuous man who has become an immortal and completed the Way. Anyone want to come with me?”

“I’ll go with you, Master,” said Dexterous Ghost.

“Me too,” said Skilful Beast.

“Where have you two gentlemen come from?” asked Monkey, as if he did not know already.

“From the Lotus Flower Cave,” they said. “Where are you going?”

“We are under orders from our Great King to capture Sun the Novice,” the devils replied.

“Who?” Monkey asked.

“Sun the Novice,” they repeated.


Output:
“Sun the Novice,” they repeated.

“The Sun the Novice who’s going with the Tang Priest to fetch the scriptures?” asked Monkey.

“Yes, that one,” the devils replied. “Do you know him?”

“That ape’s outrageous,” said Monkey. “I know him, and I’m very angry with him too. Let me come along with you and help you catch him.”

“Thank you, Master,” they replied, “but we won’t be needing your help. Our Junior King used his magic arts to bring three mountains here to crush him. Now he can’t move an inch. We two have been sent here with treasures to pack him into.”

“What treasures?” asked Monkey.

“I’ve got the red gourd,” said Dexterous Ghost, “and he’s got the jade vase.”

“How are you going to fit him into them?” asked Monkey.


Output:
“We’ll set them upside down,” said the little devils, “and call to him. If he responds we’ll put him inside and stick on a label saying: ‘Supreme Lord Lao: to be dealt with urgently in accordance with the Statutes and Ordinances.’ Three and a half hours later he’ll be just so much pus.” This news shocked Monkey, who remarked to himself what a deadly plot this was.

“The Duty God of the Day told me that there were five treasures altogether,” he thought. “These are two of them. I wonder what the other three are.”


Output:
“Gentlemen,” he said aloud, “would you let me have a look at your treasures?” Not realizing that this was a trick the two little devils produced them from their sleeves and offered them respectfully with both hands to Money. He was delighted, though he did now show it. “Splendid things,” he thought, “splendid. I just have to flick my tail in the air and go whizzing off with a jump. They’ve given them to me.” Then he had second thoughts: “No, that’s no good. Stealing them would be easy enough, but it would destroy my reputation. It’d be daylight robbery.” So he handed them back with the words, “But you haven’t seen my treasure yet.”

“What is it?” the devils asked. “Would you let us common mortals see it? It’d bring us luck.”

The splendid Monkey put his hand down, pulled a hair from his tail, made a spell, and called “Change!” It turned into a big gold and red gourd one foot seven inches long that he produced from his waist. “Would you like to see my gourd?” he asked.


Output:
Skillful Beast took it, looked at it, and said, “It’s a very big gourd, Master, shapely, and very fine to look at, but it’s useless.”

“What do you mean, useless?” asked Monkey.

“Each of our treasures can contain a thousand people,” the devils replied.

“What’s so special about being able to contain people?” said Monkey. “Mine can hold the sky itself.”

“The sky?” asked the devils.

“Yes, it really can,” Monkey replied.

“You must be lying,” said the little devils. “We could only believe that if we saw you do it. There’s no way we’re going to believe you otherwise.”

“If the sky annoys me,” said Monkey, “I pack it in here seven or eight times a month; but if it doesn’t annoy me I might leave it alone for half a year.”

“Let’s see if he’ll swap his sky-holding treasure with us,” said Skilful Beast to the other demon.

“But he’d never swap his sky-holder for our one that can only hold people,” replied Dexterous Ghost. “If he won’t swap we can throw our vase in too,” said Skilful Beast.


Output:
Concealing his delight, Monkey thought, “A gourd for a gourd and the vase too is two for one: I’ll certainly agree to that.” So he went up to Skilful Beast, clutched him, and asked, “Will you swap them if it can hold the sky?”

“Yes, we’ll swap them as long as it can hold the sky,” said the devil, “and I’ll be your son if we don’t.”

“Very well then,” said Monkey, “I’ll put the sky in it to show you.”


Output:
The splendid Great Sage bowed his head to make the spell and say the words of it. He called on the Patroller of the Day, the Patroller of the Night together with the Protector of the Four Quarters and the Centre: “Report on my behalf to the Jade Emperor that I have now found the true faith and am escorting the Tang Priest to the Western Heaven to fetch the Scriptures. We are now hold up on a high mountain and my master is in dire distress. I want to trick the devils into swapping their treasures with me, so I most humbly beg that I be lent the sky to put away for an hour. This will enable me to succeed. If there’s so much as a hint of a refusal then I’ll be coming up to the Hall of Miraculous Mist to give battle.”

The Patroller of the Day went straight in through the Southern Gate of Heaven to the Hall of Miraculous Mist, where he reported everything to the Jade Emperor.


Output:
“Outrageous ape,” said the Jade Emperor. “This is insolence. Previously it was Bodhisattva Guanyin who persuaded us to release him to escort the Tang Priest. We sent the Protectors of the Four Quarters and the Centre and the Four Duty Gods to take it in turns to protect him. Now he wants to put the sky away. It can’t be done.”

As soon as he had said that the sky could not be put away Prince Nezha stepped forward from the officials at court and submitted a memorial: “Your Majesty, it is possible to contain the sky.”

“How?” the Jade Emperor asked.


Output:
“How?” the Jade Emperor asked.

“When the primal chaos was first differentiated,” Prince Nezha replied, “the light and pure became the sky, and the heavy and dirty became the earth. The sky is a ball of pure vapor that holds up the palaces of Heaven, and by rights it should be impossible to contain it. But now that Sun the Novice is escorting the Tang Priest to fetch the Scriptures from the Western Heaven this will be a source of blessings as great as Mount Tai, a good deed as profound as the ocean. Today we ought to help him succeed.”

“How would you help him?” the Jade Emperor asked.


Output:
“I beg for the issue of an Imperial Edict to the Northern Gate of Heaven asking the True Martial God to lend us his Black Vulture Banner to spread outside the Southern Gate and block out the sun, moon and starts. Down there they will be unable to see each other and not even able to tell back from white. That will fool the devils into thinking that the sky has been packed into the gourd, and enable Sun the Novice to succeed.” The Jade Emperor ordered that this suggestion be implemented. Bearing the imperial command Prince Nezha went to see the True Martial God at the Northern Gate of Heaven and tell him what had happened. The True Martial God handed the prince the banner.

By now a patroller had hurried down to whisper in the Great Sage’s ear, “Prince Nezha is coming to help you.” Monkey looked up to see swirling clouds of good omen, a sure sign of the presence of a god, then turned to the little devils and said, “We’ll put the sky away then.”


Output:
“Put it away if you like,” said the little devils, “but why all this playing for time?”

“I was just saying the spell and calling up the magic powers,” said Monkey. The little devils gazed wide-eyed, wondering how he was going to put the sky away. Monkey threw his imitation gourd up into the air. It was only a hair really, so you can imagine how light it was. As the winds round the mountain peak caught it, it floated in the air for an hour before landing. Meanwhile Prince Nezha was noisily spreading the Black Vulture Banner out at the Southern Gate of Heaven, obscuring the sun, the moon and the stars. Indeed:

Heaven and earth were dyed as black as ink;

The cosmos into darkness then did sink.

The two little devils were terrified. “When we were talking a moment ago,” they said, “it was midday. How could it be dusk now?”

“When the sky is put away,” said Monkey, “distinctions of time disappear. Of course it’s murky.”

“But why’s it so dark now?”


Output:
“But why’s it so dark now?”

“The sun and the moon and the stars have all been put inside, so there’s no light outside. It’s bound to be dark.”

“Master,” said the little devils, “where is your voice coming from?”

“I’m just in front of you, aren’t I?” said Monkey. The little devils stretched their hands out and felt him.

“We can hear you but we still can’t see you. Where are we, Master?”

“Don’t fidget,” said Monkey, hoodwinking them, “you’re on the coast of the Bohai Sea. One slip and you’d fall for seven or eight days before hitting the bottom.”

The little devils were panic-struck. “Enough, enough. Let the sky out again. Now we know how it’s put away. If you go on a moment too long and we fall into the sea we’ll never get home.”


Output:
Splendid Monkey. As they were both convinced he said another spell that had an impact on Prince Nezha, who rolled the banner up again, revealing the noonday sun once more. “Fantastic,” exclaimed the little devils in delight, “fantastic. If we don’t do a swap for this treasure we won’t be looking after our family’s interest.”

Dexterous Ghost handed over the gourd and Skilful Beast produced the vase. When they gave them both to Monkey he gave them his imitation gourd. The exchange had now been made, but Monkey wanted it to be final, so he plucked a hair from under his navel, blew a magic breath on it, and turned it into a copper coin. “Boys,” he said, “take this coin and buy a sheet of paper.”

“Why?” they asked.

“We’ll write a legal contract for the exchange of your two man-holding treasures for my sky-holder,” said Monkey. “We each need a written agreement to prevent later regrets with the passage of time.”


Output:
“But there’s no brush or ink here to write a contract with,” said the two little devils. “Let’s swear an oath instead.”

“What sort of oath?” asked Monkey. “

We exchange our two man-holding treasures for your sky-holder,” said the devils, “and if we ever have any regrets may we be struck with pestilence in all four seasons.”

“I certainly won’t have any regrets,” chuckled Monkey. “If I do, may I too be struck with pestilence in all four seasons.” Having sworn his oath he leapt up, his tail in the air, and landed in front of the Southern Gate of Heaven, where he thanked Prince Nezha for helping him with the banner. The prince reported back to the palace and returned the banner to the True Martial God, leaving Monkey standing amid the stars and clouds, gazing at the little devils.

If you don’t know how things turned out, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Thirty-Four

The Demon King’s Cunning Causes the Mind-Ape Trouble

The Great Sage Wins the Treasures Through Improvisation


Output:
With the imitation gourd in their hands the two little devils were quarrelling over who should examine it when they looked up and saw that Monkey had disappeared. “Brother,” said Skilful Beast, “even immortals tell lies sometimes. He said that when we’d swapped the treasures he would make us into immortals. How come he’s vanished without a word?”

“We got ourselves a very good bargain,” said Dexterous Ghost, “and he would not dare disappear. Pass the gourd over—I want to put the sky in it and try it out.” He tossed the gourd into the air, but it came crashing down again, to the distress of Skilful Beast, who asked, “Why won’t it take in the sky? Could it be that it was Sun the Novice disguised as an immortal, and that he swapped an imitation gourd for our real one?”


Output:
“Nonsense,” said Dexterous Ghost. “Sun the Novice is crushed under those three mountains. How could he possibly have got out? Pass the gourd over. I’ll say the words of the spell he made and we’ll put the sky inside.” He too then threw the gourd up into the air, saying, “If there’s so much as a hint of a refusal I’ll be coming up to the Hall of Miraculous Mist to give battle.” The gourd hit the ground before he could even finish saying the spell.

“The sky hasn’t gone in,” they both said, “it must surely be a fake.”

Up in the sky the Great Sage Sun Wukong could hear every word they said and see all that was happening while they made this commotion. For fear that they would go on too long and let the news out where it mattered he shook himself and put the hair that had been turned into a gourd back on his body, leaving both the little devils completely empty-handed.

“Give me the gourd, brother,” said Dexterous Ghost.

“You give it me,” said Skilful Beast. “Heavens! It’s disappeared!”


Output:
They both started to search wildly on the ground and in the grass, putting their hands in their sleeves and in their tunics, but it was nowhere to be found.

“Whatever shall we do,” said the two horror-struck little devils, “whatever shall we do? His Supreme Majesty gave them to us to catch Sun the Novice with. Now we haven’t caught him and the treasures have disappeared. We can’t report this to him or he’ll have us beaten to death. Whatever are we going to do?”

“Let’s run away,” said Skilful Beast.

“Where to?” asked Dexterous Ghost.

“Anywhere,” said Skilful Beast, “because if we go back and say that we’ve lost the treasures that’ll obviously be the end of us.”


Output: “No,” said Dexterous Ghost, “don’t let’s run away. Let’s go back. Both their majesties are usually very fond of you, and I’ll put in a word for you. If they are prepared to make allowances they’ll spare your life. Even if we can’t talk them out of having us beaten to death, at least they’ll do it there, and we won’t be caught between two stools. Let’s go back.” Having made their minds up the two little demons set out back to their own mountain.


Output:
Monkey, watching them heading back from where he was up in the sky, shook himself and turned into a fly that flew down and followed them. Where, you may wonder, did he put his treasures now that he was a fly? Had he left them on the path or hidden them in the grass someone might have found them and taken them, and all his efforts would have been for nothing. So he kept them on his person. But a fly is only the size of a bean: how could he find room for them? Because those two treasures of his, like his gold-banded cudgel, were As-You-Will Buddha treasures that grow or shrink with you. That was why he could keep them on. He went buzzing along after the devils. Before long he was inside the cave, where the two demon kings were sitting and drinking.

The two little devils went up to them and knelt down. Monkey perched on the doorframe, listening. “Your Majesties,” said the little devils.

“So you’re back,” said the Junior Demon King, putting down his cup.

“Yes,” said the little devils.


Output:
“Yes,” said the little devils.

“Have you got Sun the Novice?” was the next question. The two little devils banged their heads on the ground, not daring to reply. The old devils asked again, and still they dared not answer, but just kept banging their heads on the ground.


Output: Only when they had been asked this several more times did they prostrate themselves and say, “Forgive us. We deserve to die a thousand times. Forgive us. We were taking the treasures into the mountains when we met an immortal from Mount Penglai. He asked us where we were going and we told him we were off to catch Sun the Novice. When the immortal heard about the Sun the Novice he said he was angry with him too, and wanted to come along and help. We never asked him to, but we told him all about how we were going to put Sun into the treasure. The immortal had a gourd too that the whole sky could be put into. Because we were greedy to do our family a good turn we swapped our man-holder for his sky-holder. At first we offered a gourd for a gourd, but then Skilful Beast threw the vase in for good measure. But his immortal’s treasure was not for the mortal likes of us. We were trying it out when gourd and immortal both disappeared. We beg you to spare us the deaths we deserve.”


Output:
At this the Senior Demon King thundered, “Damn it, damn it. It was Sun the Novice disguised as an immortal to trick them out of you. That monkey has enormous magic powers and has knows people everywhere. What hairy little god let him out to con our treasures out of us?”

“Please calm yourself, brother,” said the Junior Demon King.

“That ape is the bloody limit. With all those powers it should have been enough for him to escape. Why did he have to trick us out of our treasures? If I don’t have the powers to catch him then I’ll never be a monster on the road West again.”

“How are you going to get him?” asked the Senior King.

“We had five treasures,” said the Junior King, “so even after losing two we have three left with which we can and must capture him.”

“What three treasures?” asked the Senior King.


Output:
“What three treasures?” asked the Senior King.

“The Seven-star Sword and the Plantain Fan that I carry with me,” the Junior King replied, “and the Dazzling Golden Cord that’s kept at our old mother’s place in the Crushed Dragon Cave in Crushed Dragon Mountain. We should now send a couple of little devils to invite our mother to a meal of the Tang Priest’s flesh and ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord to catch Sun the Novice with.”

“Which ones should we send?” asked the Senior King.

“Not rubbish like those two,” replied the Junior King, who then shouted at Dexterous Ghost and Skilful Beast to get up.

“What luck,” they said. “We weren’t beaten and we weren’t sworn at—we’ve been let off.”

“Send for my regular attendants Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon,” ordered the Junior King. The two of them knelt before him while he gave them his instructions. “You must be very cautious.”

“We’ll be cautious,” they replied.

“And careful.”

“We’ll be careful,” they replied.


Output:
“We’ll be careful,” they replied.

“Do you know the way to our mother’s home?” he asked.

“We do,” they replied.

“In that case go as soon as you can. When you get to the old lady’s place bow to her very respectfully, then invite her to a meal of the Tang Priest’s flesh and ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord with her to catch Sun the Novice.”

The two demons obediently hurried off, unaware that Monkey had heard every single word. He spread his wings and flew till he caught up with Mountain Tiger and settled on him. After about a mile he was going to kill the pair of them when he reflected, “Killing them would be no problem, but I don’t know where the old lady keeps her Dazzling Golden Cord. I’d better question them before killing them.”


Output:
Splendid Monkey! He flew buzzing away from the two little devils and let them get a good hundred paces ahead. He then changed himself with a shake into another little devil with a fox-skin cap and a tigerskin kilt worn upside-down, who hurried after them and called, “Wait a moment, travelers.”

Ocean Dragon looked back and asked, “Where are you from?”

“My dear brother,” Monkey replied, “don’t you even recognize members of your own household?”

“You’re not one of us,” said the little devils.

“What do you mean?” said Monkey. “Take another look and see if you can recognize me.”

“You’re a stranger,” they replied, “and we’ve never met.”

“That’s right,” Monkey said, “you’ve never met me. I’m one of the outside staff.”

“Well then,” the little devils replied, “we would never have met you, sir. Where are you going?”


Output:
“His Majesty told me,” Monkey said, “that he’d sent you two gentlemen to invite the old lady to a meal of the Tang Priest’s flesh. You were to ask her to bring the Dazzling Golden Cord along to catch Sun the Novice. He’s worried that you two would dawdle and misbehave yourselves and mess things up, so he sent me along too to hurry you up.” As he knew all the details the two little devils were not at all suspicious: they believed that Monkey really was one of them. They rushed along in a great hurry for about three miles.

“This is too fast,” said Monkey. “How far have we gone?”

“About five miles,” said the little devils.

“And how much further is there to go?”


Output:
“And how much further is there to go?”

“Just to the black wood over there,” said Ocean Dragon, pointing it out. Monkey looked up to see a dark stretch of woodland not far away. The old demon must live somewhere nearby, he thought; so he stopped to let the little devils get ahead of him, pulled out his cudgel, rushed after them; and took a swipe at their legs. Unfortunately he hit them so hard that he turned the two little devils into mincemeat.

He hid himself deep in the undergrowth beside the path, pulled out one of his hairs, blew on it, said “Change!” and turned it into Mountain Tiger. He turned himself into Ocean Dragon. Then the two imitation devils headed for the Crushed Dragon Cave to deliver the invitation to the old lady. Indeed:

Great are the powers of the seventy-two transformations;

Greatest of all is the art of improvisation.


Output:
Greatest of all is the art of improvisation.

With four or five bounds both of him was in the wood. He searched until he saw a pair of stone doors standing ajar. Not daring to charge in, he shouted, “Open the doors.”

The little she-devil on the doors was so startled that she opened one of them wide. “Where are you from?” she asked.

“We’ve been sent from the Lotus Flower Cave on Flat-top Mountain with an invitation for the old lady,” said Monkey, and the little she-devil invited both of him in. When he reached the inner doors he peeped round them and saw an old woman sitting in the middle of the cave. Do you know what she looked like?

A map of snow white hair,

Star-shining bright.

A ruddy, wrinkled countenance,

Few teeth, and a majestic manner.

She looked like a chrysanthemum amid the frost,

With a face the color of old pine-trees after rain.

A white silk scarf was wrapped around her head,

And jewels studded her golden ear-rings.


Output:
And jewels studded her golden ear-rings.

When Sun the Great Sage saw her he did not go in, but covered his face with his hands and started to sob outside the inner doors. Do you know why he was crying? Could it be because he was afraid of her? But even if he had been afraid, crying would have been no use. Besides, he had tricked them out of their treasures and killed the little demons, so what did he have to cry about? He had never shed a single tear the time when he had been put inside nine cauldrons and deep-fried in oil for eight or nine days on end.


Output: It was only the thought of the Tang Priest’s suffering in his quest for the scriptures that upset him so badly that he wept as he reflected thus: “I’ve used my powers to turn into a little demon and come with an invitation for this she-devil. It wouldn’t do for me to stay upright when I talk to her: I’ll have to kowtow to her. In my life I’ve only kowtowed to three people: Lord Buddha in the Western Heaven, Bodhisattva Guanyin in the Southern Ocean, and the Master—I kowtowed to him four times when he delivered me from the Double Boundary Mountain, and for him I’d wear out the six blades of my lungs and liver and the three hairs and seven apertures of my heart. But is it really worth banging my head on the ground before this she-devil for a roll of scripture? If I don’t, I’ll give the game away. This is terrible. I suppose it’s only because the master is in trouble that I’ll humiliate myself like this.” As he had no choice he rushed in, knelt down, and announced that he was kowtowing to the old lady.


Output:
“Get up, my child,” said the she-devil. Monkey was delighted that his announcement had worked. “Where are you from?” the old devil asked.

“I have been sent at the command of the two kings of the Lotus Flower Cave in Flat-top Mountain to invite you, Ma’am, to a meal of the Tang Priest’s flesh. They also ask you to bring your Dazzling Golden Cord to capture Sun the Novice with.” The old devil was very pleased indeed.

“What good, dutiful boys,” she said, sending for her carrying-chair.

“Good lord,” said Monkey to himself, “fancy a demon being carried in a chair.” Two she-devils came up from behind with a chair made of fragrant rattan. They set it down outside the doors, then lifted the green gauze curtain. The old devil left the cave and got into the chair. Some young she-devils followed her with comb-boxes, mirrors and stands, towels and a scent box.


Output:
“What are all you here for? I’m going to visit my own sons, and there’ll be no shortage of people to look after me there. I won’t need you lot to fuss over me and natter. Go back in, shut the doors, and look after the place.” All the little demons apart from the two chair-porters did indeed go back in. “What are you two messengers called?” asked the old she-devil.

“He’s called Mountain Tiger,” Monkey quickly replied, “and I’m Ocean Dragon.”

“You two take the lead and clear the way for me,” said the old she-devil.

“Stinking luck,” thought Monkey. “No scriptures yet, on top of which I’ve got to be her slave.” As there could be no question of refusing he had to lead the way, chanting loudly, “Lift the chair!”


Output:
When he had covered a couple of miles or thereabouts he sat down on the edge of a precipice. When the chair-porters caught him up he suggested, “What about a little rest? Your shoulders must be aching under the weight.” Not realizing that this was a trick the little devils put the chair down. Standing behind it Monkey pulled a hair from his chest and turned it into a sesame bun that he ate as he held it.

“What are you eating, sir?” the chair-porters asked.

“It’s a bit awkward to explain,” replied Monkey. “We came a very long way to invite Her Highness, but as I’ve been given no food I’m hungry. When I’ve eaten some of these dry rations I brought with me we can be on our way.”

“Give us a bit,” the porters pleaded.

“Come over here, then,” said Monkey. “There’s no need to be too careful within the family.”


Output: Unaware of what was up, the little devils crowded round Monkey for a share of his dry rations, whereupon he produced his cudgel. The one he hit on the head was smashed to pulp when trying to ward the blow off; the other, who was only grazed, survived to groan aloud. Hearing these groans the old demon poked her head out from the chair to take a look. Monkey leapt round to the front of the chair and brought his cudgel down on her head, denting her skull and making blood and brains spurt out. Dragging her out of the chair for a good look he found she was really a nine-tailed vixen.


Output:
“Vicious brute,” he said, “fancy you having yourself called ‘Your Highness’. If you’re a ‘your highness’ then you ought to address me as Supreme Ancestral Lord.” The splendid Monkey King then found her Dazzling Golden Cord, and gloated as he tucked it up his sleeve, “Those lousy demons may have their magical powers, but three of their treasure are mine now.” He then pulled out two more hairs that he turned into doubles of Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon, as well as two more that he turned into the chair-porters. He then made himself look like the old lady, sat in the chair, and had it carried straight back the way he had come.

It was not long before they were at the entrance to the Lotus Flower Cave and the two hairs turned chair-porters were clamoring for the doors to be opened. The little devil on the doors asked whether Mountain Tiger and Ocean Dragon were back.

“Yes,” replied the hairs.

“Did you persuade Her Highness to come?”

“Can’t you see her in the chair?” asked the hairs, pointing.


Output:
“Wait a moment while I report inside,” said the little devil, who went in to announce, “Your Majesties, Her Highness is here.” At this the two demon kings had a table of incense-sticks set out to greet her. Monkey was quietly delighted to hear all this.

“What luck,” he thought. “It’s my turn to do it in style now. I had to kowtow with the invitation to the old she-devil when I turned myself into a little devil. Now that I’ve turned myself into her I’m their mother, and they’ll have to kowtow four times to me. It may not mean much, but at least I’ll be a couple of kowtows up.”


Output:
The splendid Great Sage got out of the carrying chair, straightened his clothes, and put the four hairs back on his body. The little devil on the doors carried the empty chair inside, and Monkey walked slowly in behind him, imitating the old she-devil’s affected wiggles. As he went straight in devils big and small knelt in greeting. A drum and fife band started to play, and clouds of incense rose from the Boshan burners. On reaching the main hall he sat down, facing regally South, while the two demon kings kowtowed to him with the words, “Mother, your children kowtow to you.”

“Get up, my children,” said Monkey.

Pig, still hanging from a roof-beam, began to roar with laughter. “You’re a fine one, brother,” said Friar Sand, “laughing while hung up.”

“I know what I’m doing,” said Pig.

“And what are you doing?” asked Friar Sand.

“I was afraid that when the old woman came we’d be cooked and eaten. But it’s not her: it’s the old story.”

“What old story?” asked Friar Sand.


Output:
“What old story?” asked Friar Sand.

“The Protector of the Horses is here,” said Pig.

“How can you tell?” asked Friar Sand. “When she leant forward and said, ‘Get up, my children,’ a monkey’s tail stuck out behind her. I can see better than you because I’m hung up higher.”

“Stop talking,” said Friar Sand. “Let’s listen to what they say.”

“Yes, yes,” said Pig.

“Well, boys, why have you asked me here?” asked Monkey as he sat between the two demon kings.

“Mother,” they replied, “we’ve been most discourteous to you for many days and not done our duty by you. But this morning we captured the Tang Priest from the East, and we wouldn’t dream of eating him by ourselves. So we invited you over to present him to you live. We’ll cook him and offer him to you to eat: he’ll prolong your life.”

“I won’t eat the Tang Priest’s flesh, dear boys,” Monkey replied, “but they do say that Pig’s ears are delicious. Could you cut them off and have them prepared? They’d go down well with a drink.”


Output:
“A pox on you,” exclaimed Pig in panic when he heard. “So you’re here to cut my ears off. What I’ll have to say won’t make pleasant listening.”

Oh dear! Because the idiot’s remarks gave the game away the Monkey King’s cover was blown. In burst a crowd of little demons, mountain rangers and doorkeepers to report, “Disaster, Your Majesties. Sun the Novice has killed the old lady and disguised himself as her.”

The moment the demon kings heard this there was no time for arguments: the Seven-star Sword was brought out, and it cut straight at Monkey’s face. The splendid Great Sage moved in a flash: the cave was full of red light, and he was gone. A trick like that really was fun: he could concentrate himself into solid form, or disperse into vapor. The Senior Demon King was out of his wits with terror, while all the other devils hit their fingers and shook their heads.


Output:
“Brother,” said the senior king, “let’s give the Tang Priest, Friar Sand, Pig, the white horse and all their baggage back to Sun the Novice and end the quarrel between us.”

“What a thing to say,” replied the Junior King. “Goodness only knows how much trouble we went to in our plan to capture all those monks. But now you’re so intimidated by Sun the Novice’s amazing transformations that you want to give everything back to him. You really are a coward. No man would act like that. You sit down and stop being so terrified. I’ve heard you tell of his tremendous magical powers, but I’ve never tried my skill against his although we did meet. Bring me my armor. I’m going to find him and fight three rounds with him. If he can’t beat me in those three rounds then the Tang Priest will be ours to eat; and if I can’t beat him we’ll give him back the Tang Priest.”

“You’re right, brother,” said the older demon, who then ordered that the armor be brought out. This was done.


Output:
When the Junior Demon King was fully accoutered he took his sword in his hand and went outside calling, “Sun the Novice, where have you gone?” The Great Sage, who was now up in the clouds, turned round to look as soon as he heard his name called and saw that it was the Junior Demon King. This was how he was dressed:

The phoenix-helmet on his head outdid the winter snow;

His battle armor shone with the glint of steel.

The girdle at his waist was woven from dragon sinews;

Soft leather boots had folds like plum blossom.

A face like a living True Lord of Guankou,

A countenance no different from the Mighty Miracle God.

The Seven-star Sword was brandished in his fist;

Great was his wrath that rose to the clouds.


Output:
Great was his wrath that rose to the clouds.

“Sun the Novice,” roared the Junior King, “give back our treasures and our mother and we will free your Tang Priest to go to fetch the scriptures.” The Great Sage could not restrain himself from abusing him: “You revolting demon, you don’t know what you’re up against in me. Give me back my master, my brothers, the white horse and our baggage, and throw in some travelling expenses for our journey West too. If so much as the hint of a ‘no’ slips out between your teeth you’d better start making your own rope to save me the trouble of doing it myself.”

On hearing this the Junior Demon King sent a cloud shooting up and sprang into mid-air, swinging his sword round to cut through Monkey, who struck at his face with his iron cudgel. The fight between them in the sky was magnificent:

Well-matched chess-players,

A general against a worthy foe.

A well-matched chess-player must show his mettle;

Only against a worthy foe can a general win glory.


Output:
When these divine warriors clashed

It was like tigers fighting in the Southern hills,

Or dragons struggling in the Northern seas.

Where dragons struggle

Their scales glisten.

When tigers fight

Claws and teeth wreak havoc.

The claws and teeth wreak havoc, falling like silver hooks;

The scales as they glisten are iron leaves.

The one twists and turns,

Performing a thousand maneuvers;

The other moves to and fro,

Never relaxing for an instant.

The gold-banded cudgel

Comes within inches of the skull;

The Seven-star Sword

Strives for a thrust to the heart.

The one strikes fear into the stars;

The other’s wrath is more terrible than lightning.


Output: The two of them fought thirty rounds, but neither came out on top. Monkey was delighted, though without showing it. “So this vicious devil is a match for my iron cudgel. As I’ve already got his three treasures I’m only wasting my time slogging it out with him like this. It’d be much better to pop him into the gourd or the vase. But that’s no good,” he reflected further. “As the saying goes, ‘a possession is at its owner’s disposal.’ If they don’t do what I tell them, everything will be ruined. I’ll have to lasso him with the Dazzling Golden Cord.”


Output: Using one hand to parry the magic sword with his cudgel, the splendid Great Sage raised the rope in the other and sent it whistling through the air to lasso the demon king. Now the king had a Rope-tightening Spell and a Rope-loosening Spell. When he lassoed others he would say the tightening spell, and nobody would be able to get free, and if he lassoed his own people he would say the loosening spell, and no one would be hurt. Recognizing this rope as one of his own family’s treasures he said the loosening spell, at which the noose slid open. He got free and threw the rope back at Monkey, catching him. Before the Great Sage could apply some slimming magic to escape the demon had recited the tightening spell. Monkey was held fast, unable to free himself; he was locked tight by a gold ring at his neck. The demon jerked at the rope and pulled him over, then struck seven or eight blows at his head with the magic sword. This did not even redden Monkey’s scalp.


Output:
“If your head’s that hard, you ape, I’ll not hack at you any more,” the demon said. “I’ll take you back to kill later. Give me my two treasures back at once.”

“I haven’t got any treasures of yours,” Monkey replied, “so why ask me?” The demon king searched him very carefully, found the gourd and the vase, and dragged him back into the cave by the rope.

“Brother, I’ve got him,” he announced.

“Who?” the Senior King asked.

“Sun the Novice,” replied the Junior King. “Come and see.”

When the Senior King saw that it was Monkey his face was wreathed in smiles. “It’s him,” he said, “it’s him. Tie him to a pillar with a very long rope and we’ll have some fun with him.” And indeed Monkey was tied up

while the two demon kings went into the back hall for a drink.

Monkey’s fidgeting at the foot of the pillar disturbed Pig. As he hung from his beam the idiot mocked Monkey: “So you didn’t manage to eat those ears.”


Output:
“Fool,” said Monkey, “do you like hanging up there? If I get out I guarantee that I’ll rescue you all.”

“You’re shameless,” said Pig, “quite shameless. You can’t escape yourself, and you want to rescue others. I’ve had enough. Let’s all die with the master, then at least we’ll be able to ask the way for him in the Underworld.”

“Stop talking such nonsense,” said Monkey, “and watch me get out.”

“How?” Pig asked. While the Great Sage told Pig he was keeping a sharp eye on the two demon kings, who were feasting inside while little demons brought them dishes of food and jugs of wine. The two of them were staggering all over the place, and security was very relaxed.


Output:
Seeing that there was nobody in front of him Monkey used his magic powers to slide his cudgel out. He blew on it and said “Change!” turning it into a pure steel file. Tugging at the ring at his neck he filed it apart with four or five strokes of the file, then removed the file, freed himself, plucked out a hair, turned it into a replica of himself, and left it tied up there. Then in a flash he changed into a little devil and stood beside it.

Up by the roof-beam Pig started to shout, “This is terrible, terrible. The one tied up is a fake. The genuine article is hanging up here.”

The Senior Demon King put his wine cup down to ask, “Why is Pig yelling?” Monkey, now in the guise of a little devil, came forward to report, “Pig was inciting Sun the Novice to transform himself and escape. Sun refused to do so, and so Pig is yelling.”

“Who said that Pig was well-behaved?” asked the Junior King. “Now we know just how cunning he is. He must be hit twenty times on the snout.”


Output:
When Monkey fetched a rod to hit him with, Pig said, “Don’t hit me hard, because if you do I’ll start shouting again. I know who you are.”

“It’s only for your sakes that I’m making all these transformations,” replied Monkey. “Why ever did you have to give the game away? None of the demons in the cave knew who I was. It would have to be you who found out.”

“You may have altered your face,” Pig replied, “but you can’t change your backside. You have a patch of red on either cheek down there, don’t you? That’s how I know it’s you.” Monkey went through to the inner quarters, slipped into the kitchens, rubbed the underneath of a pan, smeared the soot on both his buttocks, and went back to the front part of the cave.

“Where’s that monkey been messing around?” mocked Pig when he saw him. “His bum’s all black.”


Output:
Monkey was still standing in front of them, trying to steal their treasures. Being extremely wise he entered the main hall, tugged at the old demon’s leg, and said, “Your Majesty, Sun the Novice is fidgeting around where he’s tied to the pillar, trying to wear his way through the golden rope. It would be best to change it for a thicker one.”

“You’re right,” said the Senior Demon King, taking off the belt of lion-hide he wore at his waist and handing it to Monkey, who used it to tie up the imitation Monkey. The golden rope he tucked loop by loop into his sleeve before plucking out a hair, blowing on it with magic breath, and turning it into a copy of the Dazzling Golden Cord, which he respectfully returned to the demon with both hands. The demon was too preoccupied with his drinking to look at it carefully as he accepted it. Thus it was that the Great Sage used his power of improvisation and turned a hair into the Dazzling Golden Cord.


Output:
Now that he had this treasure he bounded out of the cave as fast as he could, turned back into himself, and shouted, “You devils.”

“Who are you, yelling like that?” the devils on the doors asked.

“Go inside at once and announce to your lousy demon kings that the Novice Sun is here.” When the little devils passed on the message the Senior King was greatly shocked.

“We’ve captured Sun the Novice, so how can there be another Novice Sun?”

“He’s nothing to be frightened of,” said the Junior King. “We have all our treasures back. I’ll fetch the gourd and put him inside it.”

“Do be careful, brother,” said the Senior King.

The Junior King went outside carrying the gourd to see someone just like Sun the Novice except that he was a little shorter. “Where are you from?” he asked.

“I’m Sun the Novice’s brother,” Monkey replied. “I’ve heard that you’ve captured him, which is why I’m here to have it out with you.”


Output:
“Yes, I have got him,” said the Junior Demon King. “He’s tied up in the cave. As you’re here you must want a fight, and I’m willing to cross swords with you. But do you have the guts to answer if I call your name?”

“If you call my name a thousand times,” said Monkey, “I’ll answer ten thousand times.”

The demon leapt into mid-air with his treasure, which he held upside-down as he called out, “Novice Sun.” Monkey did not dare reply.

“If I reply,” he thought, “he’ll have me inside.”

“Why don’t you answer me?” the demon asked.

“I can’t hear you,” replied Monkey, “I’m a bit deaf. Shout louder.”


Output: “Novice Sun,” the demon shouted again. Down below Monkey pinched his own fingers as he thought things out: “My real name is Sun the Novice. Novice Sun is only a false name I’ve made up. With my real name I could be put in the gourd, but I reckon that with a false name I can’t be.” Unable to restrain himself any longer he replied this time. With a roaring of wind he was sucked into the gourd and the label was put on it. As it happened it made no difference to that treasure whether a name was real or false: any response was enough to get you put inside.


Output:
The Great Sage found it pitch-black inside the gourd. When he tried to raise his head he could not move it at all, so tightly was he squeezed in it. He now began to feel very anxious. “The two little devils I met on the mountain,” he thought, “told me that any one put in the gourd or the vase turns to pus in three and a half hours. Perhaps that’s going to happen to me.” Then he started on another line of thought: “No problem. I won’t turn into pus. When I made havoc in the Palace of Heaven five hundred years ago Lord Lao Zi put me in his Eight Trigram Furnace and fired me for forty-nine days, and this gave me a heart and liver of gold, lungs of silver, a brazen head, an iron back, eyes of fire and golden pupils. I couldn’t possibly be turned to pus in three and a half hours. I’ll let him take me inside and see what he does.”

Taking Monkey inside, the Junior Demon King said, “I’ve got him, brother.”

“Who?” the Senior King asked.

“I’ve got the Novice Sun packed in my gourd,” the Junior King replied.


Output:
“Do sit down, dear brother,” said the Senior King, “and don’t move. We must shake the gourd till we hear him sloshing around inside before taking the label off.” Hearing this, Monkey wondered, “How could they shake my body till they heard it sloshing around? They wouldn’t hear anything unless I’d turned runny. I’ll take a piss, then if they shake me and hear is sloshing around they’re bound to take the label and the lid off, and I’ll be able to get the hell out of here. No, that won’t do. Piss would sound right but it would get my tunic filthy. When he shakes the gourd I’ll have my mouth full of saliva that I can swish around noisily to fool him into opening up. Then I’ll be off.” The Great Sage got ready, but the demons were too thirsty for their wine to shake the gourd. So he thought of a way to trick them into shaking it.

“Heavens,” he shouted, “my knuckles have turned to pus.” But the demons still did not shake it. Then he shouted, “Mother, my waist has gone now.”


Output:
At this the Senior Demon King said, “If he’s turned to pus as far as the waist he’s finished. Take the label off and let’s have a look.”

When the Great Sage heard this he plucked out another hair, told it to change, and turned it into half of his own body, which he left in the bottom of the gourd. He turned himself into a tiny insect that perched near the mouth of the gourd. As soon as the Junior Demon King took the paper cover off he flew out, did a roll, and turned into Ocean Dragon, the little devil who had gone with the invitation to the old lady. In this guise he stood beside the path while the Senior King removed the stopper from the gourd, craned his neck, and saw the half body still moving. Not realizing that it was a fake he called out in panic, “Shut it again, brother, shut it. He hasn’t rotted down yet.” The Junior King put the cover back on. The Great Sage was discreetly delighted that they did not realize where he actually was.


Output:
The Senior Demon King took the gourd, filled a cup to the brim with liquor, and offered it with both hands to the Junior King, saying, “Please accept this drink from me.”

“Elder brother,” replied the Junior King, “I’ve drunk a great deal. I can’t accept another.”


Output: To this the Senior King said, “Your capture of the Tang Priest, Pig and Friar Sand was nothing special; but I insist on offering you some drinks to congratulate you on your achievement in tying up Sun the Novice and putting the Novice Sun into your gourd.” As his elder brother was showing him so much honour and respect the Junior King would have to accept the cup. But he was still holding the magic gourd, and it would have been rude to accept the cup in one hand. So he passed the gourd to Ocean Dragon to allow himself to receive the cup with both hands, unaware that Ocean Dragon was Monkey in disguise. Just watch Monkey respectfully holding the gourd as he stands in attendance. When the Junior King had drunk the liquor he wanted to return the courtesy.


Output:
“No need,” said the Senior King, “I’ll drink one with you.” They were both being very modest. Monkey held the gourd and fixed his gaze on the two of them as they lost count of how many drinks they were giving each other. He slipped the gourd up his sleeve, pulled out a hair, and turned it into an exact facsimile of the gourd that he offered to the kings. After giving each other so many drinks the two kings did not check its authenticity but simply took their treasure, went to their places, sat down, and carried on drinking. The Great Sage got away. He was very pleased at having captured the treasures.

“In spite of these demon kings’ magic powers, the gourd is now mine,” he thought.

If you don’t know what he had to do to save his master and destroy the demons, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Thirty-Five

The Power of Heterodoxy Oppresses the True Nature

The Mind-Ape Wins the Treasures and Beats the Demons

Lucid the true nature; the Way explains itself;


Output:
Lucid the true nature; the Way explains itself;

With one turn one jumps out of the net.

To learn transformations is very hard indeed;

To become immortal is no common deed.

Pure yields to foul and foul to pure as fate’s wheel turns:

Break through the kalpas and travel freely.

Wander at will through countless billion years,

A spot of sacred light ever shining in the void.

This poem is an apt but indirect description of how wonderful the Great Sage’s powers were. Now that he had won the demons’ treasure and had it tucked into his sleeve he thought with delight, “The damned demon went to such a lot of trouble to capture me, but it was, as they say, like trying to fish the moon out of water. But for me to try to capture you would be like melting ice on a fire.”

Concealing the gourd about him he slipped outside, reverted to his own form, and shouted at the top of his voice, “Open up, you devils.”

“Who do you think you are, shouting like that?” asked the devils who were there.


Output:
“Tell your damned demon kings at once that Novice the Sun is here,” he replied.

The demons rushed in to report, “Your Majesties, there’s a Novice the Sun or something at the doors.” The Senior King was shocked.

“This is terrible, brother,” he said. “We’ve stirred up a whole nest of them. Sun the Novice is tied up with the Dazzling Golden Cord, and the Novice Sun is inside the gourd, so how can there be a Novice the Sun as well? They must all be brothers and all have come.”

“Don’t worry, brother,” the Junior King replied. “I can put a thousand people into my gourd, and at present I’ve only got the Novice Sun inside. No need to be afraid of Novice the Sun or whoever. I’m going out to take a look and put him inside too.”

“Do be careful,” said the Senior Demon King.

Watch as the Junior King goes out through the doors with his gourd, as heroic and impressive as the previous time.

“Where are you from?” he shouted at the top of his voice, “and how dare you rant and roar here?”


Output:
“Don’t you know who I am?” Monkey said.

“My home is on the Mount of Flowers and Fruit;

Long have we lived in Water Curtain Cave.

For making havoc in the Heavenly Palace

For ages did I rest from war and strife.

Since my delivery from woe,

I’ve left the Way and now I serve a monk.

As a believer I go to Thunder Shrine

To seek the Scriptures and come back to Truth.

Now that I’ve met with you damned fiends,

All of my magic powers I’ve had to use.

Give back to us the priest who’s come from Tang,

To travel West and visit the Lord Buddha.

The rival sides have fought for long enough:

Let all of us now live in peace together.

Don’t make old Monkey lose his fiery temper,

For if he does he’ll surely wipe you out”

“Come here,” said the demon. “I won’t hit you. I’ll just call your name. Will you answer?”

“If you call my name,” said Monkey, “I’ll reply. But will you answer if I call your name?”


Output:
“If I call you,” said the demon, “I have a miraculous gourd that people can be packed into. But if you call me, what have you got?”

“I’ve got a gourd too,” Monkey replied.

“If you have, then show me,” said the demon.

Monkey then produced the gourd from his sleeve and said, “Look, damned demon.” He flourished it then put it back in his sleeve in case the demon tried to snatch it.

The sight was a great shock to the demon. “Where did he get his gourd?” he wondered. “Why is it just like mine? Even gourds from the same vine are different sizes and shapes. But that one is identical.” He then shouted angrily at Monkey, “Novice the Sun, where did you get your gourd?”

As Monkey really did not know where it was from he answered with another question: “Where did you get yours?”


Output:
Not realizing that this was a trick Monkey had learned from experience, the demon told the true story from the beginning: “When Chaos was first divided and heaven separated from earth there was this Lord Lao Zi who took the name of the Goddess Nuwa to smelt a stone to mend the heavens and save the Continent of Jambu. When he put in the missing part of the Heavenly Palace he noticed a magic vine at the foot of Mount Kunlun on which this gold and red gourd was growing. It has been handed down from Lord Lao Zi to the present day.”

Hearing this, Monkey carried on in the same vein: “That’s where my gourd came from too.”

“How can you tell?” the demon king asked.


Output:
“How can you tell?” the demon king asked.

“When the pure and the coarse were first divided,” the Great Sage replied, “heaven was incomplete in the Northwest corner, and part of the earth was missing to the Southeast. So the Great Taoist Patriarch turned himself into Nuwa to mend the sky. As he passed Mount Kunlun there was a magic vine with two gourds growing on it. The one I’ve got is the male one, and yours is the female one.”

“Never mind about the sex,” said the demon. “It’s only a real treasure if it can hold people inside.”

“Quite right,” said Monkey. “You try to put me inside first.”

The overjoyed demon sprang into mid-air with a bound, held out his gourd, and called, “Novice the Sun.” Without hesitation the Great Sage replied eight or nine times, but he was not sucked inside. The monster came down, stamping his feet, pounding his chest, and exclaiming, “Heavens! Who said that the world never changes? This treasure’s scared of its old man! The female one hasn’t the nerve to pack the male inside.”


Output:
“Put your gourd away now,” said Monkey. “It’s my turn to call your name.” With a fast somersault he leapt up, turned his gourd upside-down with its mouth facing the demon, and called, “Great King Silver Horn.” The demon could not keep quiet; he had to answer, and he went whistling into the gourd. Monkey then attached a label reading: To the Great Lord Lao: to be dealt with urgently in accordance with the Statutes and Ordinances.

“Well, my boy,” he thought with pleasure, “today you’ve tried something new.”


Output: He landed his cloud, still carrying the gourd. His only thought was to rescue his master as he headed for the Lotus Flower Cave. The mountain path was most uneven, and he was besides bow-legged, so as he lurched along the gourd was shaken, making a continuous sloshing sound. Do you know why this was? The Great Sage’s body had been so thoroughly tempered that he could not be putrefied in a hurry. The monster, on the other hand, though able to ride the clouds only had certain magical powers. His body was still essentially that of an ordinary mortal, which putrefied as soon as it went into the gourd.


Output:
Not believing that the demon had already turned to pus, Monkey joked, “I don’t know whether that’s piss or saliva, my lord, but I’ve played that game too. I won’t take the cover off for another seven or eight days, by when you’ll have turned to liquid. What’s the hurry? What’s so urgent? When I think how easily I escaped you deserve to be out of sight for a thousand years.” As he was carrying the gourd and talking like this he was back at the doors of the cave before he realized it. He shook the gourd, and it kept making that noise.

“It’s like a fortune-telling tube that you shake a stick out of,” he thought. “I’ll do one and see when the Master will be coming out.” Watch him as he shakes and shakes it, repeating over and over again the spell, “King Wen’s Book of Changes, Confucius the Sage, Lady of the Peach Blossom, Master Ghostvalley.”


Output:
When they saw him the little devils in the cave said, “Disaster, Your Majesty. Novice the Sun has put his Junior Majesty in the gourd and is shaking it.” The news sent all the Senior King’s souls flying and turned his bones and sinews soft.

He collapsed, howling aloud, “You and I sneaked out of the world above to be reborn among mortals, brother. Our hope was to share glory for ever as rulers of this cave. We never dreamt that this monk would kill you and part us.” All the devils in the cave wept and wailed.


Output: The sound of all this howling was too much for Pig hanging from his beam. “Stop howling, demon,” he could not help himself shouting, “and listen to me. Sun the Novice who came first, the Novice Sun who came next, and Novice the Sun who came last all have the same name shuffled around, and they are all my fellow disciple. He can do seventy-two transformations. He got in here by changing, stole your treasure and put your brother inside it. Now that he’s dead there’s no need for all this misery. Have your cooking pots scrubbed clean and cook some gill mushrooms and button mushrooms, tea shoots, bamboo shoots, beancurd, gluten, tree-fungus, and vegetables. Then you can invite my master, my fellow-disciple and me down to say a Life Sutra for your brother.”


Output:
“I thought Pig was well-behaved,” roared the demon king in fury, “but he most certainly is not, mocking me like that.” He then called on the little devils, “Stop wailing, and let Pig down. Cook him till he’s nice and tender, and when I’ve had made a good meal of him I’ll go out and take my revenge on Sun the Novice.”

“Wonderful,” grumbled Friar Sand at Pig. “I told you to keep your mouth shut. Your reward for blabbing will be to be cooked first.”

The idiot was quite frightened by now. A little devil standing beside him said, “Your Majesty, Pig will be hard to cook.”

“Thank heavens,” said Pig. “Is this brother winning himself some merit? It’s true I wouldn’t cook well.”

Then another little devil said, “He’ll cook if he’s skinned first.”

“Yes,” said Pig in desperation, “I’ll cook. My skin and bones may be coarse, but they’ll boil tender. I’m done for! I’m done for.”

Before Pig had finished shouting a little devil came in from outside to report that Novice the Sun was there again and being very abusive.


Output:
“Damn him. He thinks we’re completely useless,” exclaimed the Senior Demon King with horror. “Hang Pig up again,” he told the little demons, “and check what treasures we have left.”

“We still have three in the cave,” reported the steward devil.

“Which three?” the demon king asked. “The Seven-star Sword, the Plantain Fan, and the Pure Vase,” replied the steward.

“The vase is useless,” said the demon king. “All you used to need to do was to call someone’s name and get a reply for them to be put inside. But now Sun the Novice has learned the words of the spell and put my brother in it. We won’t need that—leave it here. Fetch me the sword and the fan at once.”


Output:
The steward immediately fetched them for the old demon, who tucked the fan inside the back of his collar and took the sword in his hand. Then he mustered all three hundred or more of his devils and drilled them in the use of spear, staff, rope and sword. The Senior Demon King then put on his helmet and breast plate, over which he threw a cloak of fiery red silk. The demons fell into battle formation, ready to capture the Great Sage Sun. The Great Sage meanwhile, now aware that the Junior Demon King had rotted down inside the gourd, tied it up very tight and fastened it to his belt, then prepared to fight, his gold-banded cudgel in his hand. The old demon, his red battle-flag unfurled behind him, leapt out through the doors of the cave. This was how he was dressed:

Dazzling bright the tassels on his helmet,

Brilliantly coloured the belt at his waist.

The armor he wore was made of dragon scales,

Covered with a cloak of burning fire.

Lightning flashed from his glaring eyes,


Output:
Lightning flashed from his glaring eyes,

Smoke curled up from his bristles of steel.

Lightly he lifted the Seven-star Sword,

His shoulders covered by the Plantain Fan.

He moved like clouds drifting from an island,

Sounded like thunderbolts shaking the mountains.

His mighty prowess would oppress Heaven’s warriors

As he wrathfully led his devils from the cave.

He ordered the little devils into battle positions at once, then started hurling abuse: “Thoroughly ill-mannered ape. You’ve murdered my brother and ruined our fraternal love. You’re utterly loathsome.”


Output:
“Detestable monster,” replied Monkey in kind. “You hang on to your devilish life for all you’re worth, but how do you expect me to stand for my master, my fellow-disciples and horse all being hung up in your cave for no good reason at all? It’s intolerable. Hand them over to me this moment and throw in some generous travelling expenses. Then I’ll cheerfully be on my way and spare your rotten life.” With no more ado the demon lifted his sword and struck at Monkey’s head, while Monkey raised his iron cudgel to meet him. It was a fine battle they fought outside the gates. Indeed!

The Gold-Banded Cudgel and the Seven-star Sword,

Flashing like lightning as they meet.

The chill wind from them makes one cold,

While mighty banks of cloud blot out the ridges.

One, moved by brotherly love,

Would do no act of kindness;

The other, out to save the pilgrim,

Showed no touch of mercy.

The two sides seethed with equal hatred,

Each of them sharing the same loathing.

They fought so hard that


Output:
They fought so hard that

Heaven and earth were thrown into darkness,

Gods and demons were terrified,

The sun went pale in the dense smoke,

Dragons and tigers trembled.

One gnashed his teeth, as if filing nails of jade;

The other’s glaring eyes burned with golden fire.

Moving to and fro they showed off their valour,

In an endless play of sword and cudgel.


Output:
In an endless play of sword and cudgel.

When the old demon had fought twenty rounds with Monkey and neither had emerged the victor he waved the scabbard of his sword and called all his little devils forward. Over three hundred of them all rushed up and surrounded Monkey. The splendid Great Sage, quite unperturbed, used his cudgel to strike and parry to either side, before and behind. The little devils all had great skill, and they fought their way ever closer to him, tying him up as if in a tangle of silk floss as they tugged at his waist and legs. They would not retreat. The Great Sage was so alarmed by this that he used extra-corporeal magic. Plucking a bunch of hairs from under his left ribs he chewed thew to pieces that he blew out with the shout, “Change!” Every piece turned into another Monkey. Just watch as the biggest ones wield cudgels, the short ones use their fists, and the tiniest ones, with no other way of attacking grabbed knuckles and sank their teeth into muscles.


Output:
The little devils were put to rout. “Your Majesty,” they yelled, “it’s going all wrong. We’re in terrible trouble. The whole mountain and everywhere else is swarming with Sun the Novices.” Now that his little devils had been thrown back by the extra-corporeal magic the demon king was hard-pressed; rush around as he might, there was to escape for him.

In his alarm the demon took his precious sword in his left hand and reached behind his neck with right hand to bring out the Plantain Fan. Then he turned towards the fire-gods of the Southeast and the Constellation Ligong he waved the fan. At once flames shot out of the ground, for such was the power of that treasure. The monster was truly ruthless. He waved the fan seven or eight times, setting great fires burning heaven and earth. It was a fine blaze:

Not a heavenly fire,

Nor a fire in a furnace,

Nor a fire on the mountain,

Nor a fire under the pot.

But the miraculous fire that comes from the Five Elements.

The fan is no ordinary object,


Output:
The fan is no ordinary object,

Nor was it fashioned by human skill:

It is a treasure made when Chaos was first parted.

The fire caused by this fan

Shines and dazzles

Like red silk lightning;

Burns and blazes

Like crimson gauze sunsets.

Not a wisp of smoke,

Only a mountain covered in flame,

Turning the pines on its ridges into trees of fire,

And the cypresses by its crags into lanterns.

The beasts in their dens, fearful for their lives,

Rush hither and thither;

The birds in the woods, to save their feathers,

Fly far and high.

The magic fire that roars up to the sky,

Destroys the rocks, dries up the streams, and makes all red.

The Great Sage trembled with fear at the sight of this evil fire. “This is terrible,” he said. “It may do me no harm, but I can’t save those hairs of mine. If they are caught by the fire they’ll burn the way hair does.”


Output: So he shook himself and took the hair back on his body, leaving just one behind as a facsimile of himself. Then, to avoid disaster by fire, his real self somersaulted upwards, reciting a spell to ward off the fire, and escaped from the inferno. He went straight back to the Lotus Flower Cave in the hope of rescuing his master. He rushed to the cave doors, brought his cloud down to land, and found over a hundred little devils there with smashed heads, broken legs, and open wounds. They had all been wounded by his magical other selves and were now standing there howling in agony. At the sight of them the Great Sage could not restrain his evil and murderous nature; he laid into them, swinging his iron cudgel. The poor devils, who were the fruit of so much hard work to acquire human form, became so many pieces of worn and hairy hide once more.


Output: Having wiped out all the little devils the Great Sage stormed into the cave to free his master. Seeing more dazzling flames inside he was struck by a thought that filled him with panic: “That’s done it. The fire’s come in through the back door. There’s no way I’ll be able to rescue the Master.” Terrified though he was, he looked more carefully and saw that it was not flames but a golden glow. Pulling himself together he looked inside and saw that the light came from a vase in “mutton-fat” jade.


Output:
“What a beauty,” he thought with glee. “That’s the vase that shone on the mountain when those two little devils were carrying it. I took it off them, then the demon king found it when he searched me later. Now I see that it shines when they keep it here too.” Watch him as he takes such pleasure in stealing the vase that instead of rescuing his master he gets out of the cave as fast as he can. He was just outside when the demon king appeared from the South, brandishing his magic sword and the fan. Before the Great Sage could take evasive action the demon raised the sword and hacked at his face. But the Great Sage immediately soared into the air on a somersault cloud and disappeared without trace.

Back at the cave mouth the demon king was so distressed by the sight of the corpses of his spirits all over the place that he threw back his head and groaned, and could not help wailing loudly at the pain of it. This is proved by a poem that goes:

Wicked the ape, and stubborn the evil horse,


Output:
Wicked the ape, and stubborn the evil horse,

That had their souls reborn in mortal form.

Because in their folly they left the halls of Heaven

They forgot themselves and landed in these hills.

Woeful the swan that loses the flock;

Tearful the demon soldiers whose race is destroyed.

When will their sin be done and their bonds released

So that they may return to their heavenly home?

Overcome with remorse, the Senior Demon King sobbed at every step as he went into the cave. Although all the objects and furniture were still in the cave it was silent and deserted. It made him even more lonely and depressed. He sat alone in the cave, slumped on the stone table, the sword leaning against it, and the fan behind his neck again. Thus he drifted into sleep. Indeed:

Happiness braces the spirit;

Sorrow just sends you to sleep.


Output: The story goes on to tell how the Great Sage Sun turned his somersault cloud round and brought it to a stop in front of the mountain. As he wanted to rescue his master he fastened the vase securely at his waist and went back to the cave to reconnoiter. The doors were wide open, and the silence was unbroken, so he crept stealthily inside to find the old demon slumped against the stone table, fast asleep. The Plantain Fan stick out from his clothes at his shoulder, half covering the back of his head, and the Seven-star Sword was still leaning against the table. Monkey made his way forward very quietly, pulled the fan out, then turned and whooshed out. This was because the fan had rubbed against the monster’s hair, waking him up. As soon as he looked up and saw that Monkey had stolen the fan he grabbed for his sword and went after him. By now Monkey was already outside the doors, the fan safely tucked in his belt and his iron cudgel in his hands as he met the monster’s onslaught. It was a splendid fight.


Output:
The angry demon king,

Beside himself with fury,

Angry enough to swallow Monkey whole.

Unable to let off his rage,

Viciously he cursed the ape;

“You’re always trying to fool with me.

You’ve killed so many of my people,

And you’ve taken away my treasures.

There’ll be no mercy in this fight:

We’ll see who’s to survive.”

The Great Sage yelled back at the demon:

“You haven’t a lick of sense.

For a beginner like you to fight against me

Would be like trying to smash a rock with eggs.”

The sword was met by the iron cudgel

As both sides fought without giving quarter.

In clash after clash they struggled for mastery,

Turning and twisting to show their skill in arms.

To rescue the pilgrim priest,

And visit the Buddha on Vulture Peak,

Metal and Fire would not yield to each other,

And the chaos of the elements destroyed their friendship.

As they showed their martial prowess and magic powers,

They sent stones and sand flying with their display of skill.

As they fought the sun was slowly setting;


Output:
As they fought the sun was slowly setting;

The frightened demon was the first to quit.

After thirty or forty rounds of fighting against Monkey, by when the day was almost over, the demon king could hold out no longer and he broke away, defeated. He made off to the Southwest, heading for the Crushed Dragon Cave.

Monkey then brought his cloud down to land and rushed straight back into the Lotus Flower Cave, where he freed the Tang Priest, Pig, and Friar Sand. The three of them thanked Monkey for delivering them from dire peril, then asked where the demons had gone.

To this Monkey replied, “The Junior Demon King is inside the gourd, and I reckon he must have dissolved by now. I’ve just beaten the Senior King, and he’s gone back to the Crushed Dragon Cave. As for the little devils from the cave, I killed half of them with my magical extra bodies, then wiped out the wounded survivors of the rout who came back here. That’s how I was able to get in here to rescue you.”


Output:
The Tang Priest thanked him no end: “I’m so grateful to you for your great efforts, disciple.”

“You’re telling me it was a great effort,” laughed Monkey. “You lot only had to put up with the pain of being hung up, but I wasn’t allowed to stand still for a moment. I was more rushed than a postal courier with an urgent message, having to charge around all over the place without stopping. I was only able to put the demons down because I stole their treasures.”

“Show us the gourd, brother,” said Pig.

“I think he must have dissolved by now.” Monkey took the vase from his belt and then produced the Dazzling Golden Cord and the fan before bringing the gourd out in his hands.


Output:
“Don’t look inside,” he said, “don’t. When he put me in there I tricked him into taking the lid off and letting me get away by swilling saliva round in my mouth. We absolutely mustn’t take the lid off in case he plays a trick on us and escapes too.” In their happiness master and disciples found the rice, noodles and vegetables in the cave, cleaned up the stove and cooking pots, and made themselves a vegetarian meal. When they were full they went to sleep in the cave. Nothing worth recounting happened that night, and before long the new day dawned.

The Senior Demon King meanwhile had gone straight to the Crushed Dragon Mountain, where he called together all the she-devils and told them how his mother had been murdered, his brother put in the gourd, the devil soldiers all killed and the treasures stolen.


Output: At this the she-devils all wept. After they had been wailing for a long time he said, “Try not to upset yourselves. I still have my Seven-star Sword, and I’m going to parade all you women soldiers behind the Crushed Dragon Mountain, where I’ll borrow some troops from my relatives. My mind is made up: I’ll capture Sun the Novice and have my revenge on him.”


Output: The words were not out of his mouth before a little devil from outside the doors reported, “Your Majesty, your lord uncle from the other side of the mountains is here with soldiers.” At this news the Senior Demon King quickly put on white mourning garments and went out to greet him in person. This lord uncle was King Septimus Fox, the younger brother of the demon king’s mother, and he had heard from devils of his who were out patrolling the mountains how Monkey had killed his sister then impersonated her to steal his nephew’s treasures and was fighting him in the battle of Flat-top Mountain that same day. Septimus Fox was bringing over two hundred of his own devil troops to help in the battle when he called for news at his sister’s place on the way. As soon as he stepped inside and saw the demon king in mourning for his mother the two of them started to weep aloud. After weeping for some time the demon king bowed to him and told him what had happened. In his anger Septimus told the demon king to change out


Output: anger Septimus told the demon king to change out of his mourning clothes, pick up his sword, call the roll of women soldiers and join forces with him. They then set off on winds and clouds towards the Northeast.


Output:
The Great Sage had just told Friar Sand to get the breakfast ready as they would set off straight after eating it when he heard the sound of a wind. Going outside to look he saw a host of demon soldiers approaching from the Southwest. This alarmed him, so he ran back in a hurry and shouted to Pig, “Brother, that evil spirit is back again with reinforcements.”

Sanzang went pale with fright at the news. “Disciple,” he asked, “what can this mean?”

“Don’t worry,” chuckled Monkey, “don’t worry. Fetch me all their treasures.” The Great Sage then tucked the gourd and the vase in his belt, put the Dazzling Golden Cord in his sleeve, stuck the Plantain Fan behind his shoulder, and whirled the iron cudgel around with both his hands. Friar Sand he ordered to stay put inside the cave guarding the master, while he asked Pig to come outside with his rake to meet the enemy.


Output:
When the demons’ line of battle was drawn up King Septimus Fox took command. He had a jade face and long whiskers, a brow of steel and ears like swords. His helmet was of refined gold, he wore chainmail armor and he held a heaven-square halberd.

“I’ll get you, you bold and impudent ape,” he shouted. “How dare you treat people so badly? You’ve stolen the treasures, wounded my relations, killed the demon soldiers, and to top it all occupied their cave palace. All of you stretch your heads out to be executed while I avenge my sister’s family.”


Output: “You hairy crowd, you misery-makers,” replied Monkey, “you can’t realize what powers I have. Don’t go—take this from my cudgel.” The monster twisted round to avoid the blow, then struck back at his head with the heaven-square halberd. The two of them fought three or four rounds on the mountain-top until the monster was too weak to continue. He fled from the field, followed by Monkey until he was blocked by the Senior Demon King. When these two had fought three more rounds Septimus Fox came back into the attack. Seeing this from where he was at the edge of the battle Pig brandished his nine-toothed rake to stop him. The battle went on undecided for a long time with each fighter blocked by another until the demon king called up all the demon troops to surround Pig.


Output: Sanzang meanwhile was sitting in the cave hearing the shouts and the shaking of the ground. He told Friar Sand to go outside and see whether or not his brother was winning. Friar Sand raised his demon-quelling staff and charged out with a roar, putting the devilish horde to flight. Seeing that things were going badly, Septimus turned to flee, only to be caught a blow on the back from Pig’s rake as Pig came after him. At this nine jets of blood gushed out of him, and the poor spirit’s true being carried on ahead of him. When Pig grabbed him and tore off his clothes he saw that Septimus was in fact a fox spirit.


Output:
At the sight of his uncle being wounded the demon king broke away from Monkey and raised his sword to strike at Pig, who parried with his rake. While the two of them were fighting it out Friar Sand came up and struck at the demon king with his staff. This was more than the demon could cope with, so he set off on his wind and cloud, fleeing South with Pig and Friar Sand close on his heels. Seeing this the Great Sage at once went soaring up into the sky on his cloud. He brought out the vase to catch the old demon in.

“King Golden Horn,” he shouted, and the old demon, imagining that one of his defeated little devils was calling, turned to reply. Into the vase he whistled, and Monkey put on a label reading: To the Great Lord Lao: to be dealt with urgently in accordance with the Statutes and Ordinances.

The Seven-star Sword fell to the ground, and it too was now Monkey’s. “You’ve got the sword, brother,” said Pig as he came towards him, “but where’s the evil spirit?”


Output:
“He’s done for,” laughed Monkey. “I’ve got him in this vase.” Like Pig, Friar Sand was delighted when he heard.

Now that all the evil spirits had been wiped out the disciples went back into the cave to tell the good news to Sanzang: “The mountain has been cleaned up and the demons no longer exist. Please mount, Master, and we’ll be on our way.” Sanzang was beside himself with joy. Master and disciples ate their breakfast, got their baggage and horse ready, and hurried on their way West.

As they were walking along a blind man suddenly appeared beside the path, went up to them, and seized Sanzang’s horse.

“Where are you going, monk?” he asked. “Give me back my treasures.”

“That’s done it,” said Pig with horror. “It’s the old demon here to demand his treasures back.”

When Monkey looked carefully and saw that it was the Supreme Lord Lao Zi he rushed up to him, greeted him and asked, “Where are you going, old fellow?”


Output:
The venerable elder at once rose up to his throne in the realm of jade, drew himself upright amid the nine mists and called, “Sun the Novice, give me back my treasures.” The Great Sage rose into the air and asked. “What treasures?”

“I use the gourd to keep cinnabar and the vase to hold water,” replied the Lord Lao. “The precious sword I use for refining demons, the fan for fanning my fire, and the cord for tying round my gown. One of those two demons was a servant boy who looked after my golden furnace, and the other a servant who looked after my silver furnace. They stole my treasures and came down to the mortal world. I could not find them anywhere. You have done a very good deed in capturing them.”

“You’re very rude indeed, old fellow,” said the Great Sage. “You deserve to be charged with laxity for allowing members of your household to become evil spirits.”


Output:
“Don’t blame the wrong person,” said Lord Lao. “It was nothing to do with me. It was the Bodhisattva from the sea who asked me for the loan of them three times, and sent them here to be turned into monsters to test whether your master and his disciples truly wanted to go to the West.”

On hearing this the Great Sage thought, “That Bodhisattva is a terrible old liar. When she delivered me and told me to protect the Tang Priest on his journey to the West to fetch the scriptures I said that the journey would be tough and difficult. She promised to come and help me whenever things were really desperate. But so far from helping she’s sent evil spirits to play me up and give me a hard time. The liar. She deserves to be an old maid all her life. If the old fellow hadn’t come here himself I most certainly would not have given them back to him. But now that you’ve told me all this you’d better have them.”


Output:
When the Lord Lao had his five treasures back he took the stoppers out of the gourd and the vase and tipped out two wisps of immortal vapor. As he pointed at them they turned into his two servants of the gold and silver furnace who waited on him on either side. Then a myriad rays of coloured light appeared and they floated back to the Tushita Palace and drifted straight on up to the Daluo Heaven.

If you don’t know what happened afterwards, or how the Great Sage Sun protected the Tang Priest, or when they reached the Western Heaven, listen to the explanations in the next installment.

Chapter Thirty-Six

When the Mind-Ape Stands Correct All Evil Causes Submit

When the Side-Gate Is Smashed the Moon Appears in Its Brightness


Output:
The story tells how Sun the Novice brought his cloud down to land and told the master and his fellow-disciples all about the Bodhisattva borrowing the two servant lads and Lord Lao recovering his treasures. Sanzang expressed his thanks at great length, then with great determination and pious sincerity prepared to head West for all he was worth. As he climbed into the saddle, Pig shouldered the luggage, Friar Sand held the horse’s bridle, and Monkey cleared a path straight ahead down the mountainside with his iron cudgel. We can give no full account of how they slept in the rain, dined off the wind, were wrapped in frost and exposed to the dew. When they had been travelling for a long time they found the way forward blocked by another mountain.

“Disciples,” shouted Sanzang from the back of his horse, “just look at how high and craggy that mountain is. You must be very careful and on your guard; I’m afraid that monsters may attack us.”


Output:
“Stop your wild imaginings, Master,” replied Monkey, “and calm yourself. Of course nothing will happen.”

“But why is the journey to the Western Heaven so hard, disciple?” asked Sanzang. “As I recall I have been through four or five years of springs, summers, autumns and winters since leaving the city of Chang’an. Why

haven’t I got there yet?”

The question made Monkey chuckle: “It’s early yet. We’re not even out of the front door.”

“Stop lying, brother,” said Pig. “There’s no such front door on earth.”

“But we’re still wandering around in the hall,” said Monkey.

“Don’t try to intimidate us by talking so big,” said Friar Sand. “There couldn’t possibly be a hall as large as this: there’s nowhere you could buy roof-beams big enough.”

“If you look at it my way, brother,” said Monkey, “the blue sky is the roof tiles, the sun and the moon are the windows, and the Four Mountains and Five Peaks are the pillars and beams. Heaven and earth are just like a big hall.”


Output:
“That’s enough of that,” said Pig. “Why don’t we just stroll around for a while then go back?”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” said Monkey. “Keep going with me.”

The splendid Great Sage shouldered his iron cudgel, calmed the Tang Priest down, and cleared their way forward through the mountains. As the master gazed at it from his horse he saw that it was a splendid mountain view. Indeed:

The towering peak touches the Dipper’s handle;

The tops of the trees seem to reach the clouds.

From banked-up mists of blue

Comes the cry of the ape in the valley-mouth;

Deep in the turquoise shadows

Cranes call among the pines.

As the wind howls mountain sprites appear in the gullies,

Playing tricks on the wood-cutters;

Crafty foxes sit on the edge of rock-faces,

To the terror of hunters.

A splendid mountain,

Its every face towering and sheer.

Strange-shaped pines spread their bright green canopies;

From withered old trees hang vines of wisteria.

As spring waters fly through the air


Output:
As spring waters fly through the air

The cold breeze cuts through and chills.

Where the crag towers aloft

A pure wind strikes the eye and startles the dreaming soul.

Sometimes the roar of the tiger is heard,

And often the songs of the mountain birds.

Herds of deer and muntjac make their way through the brambles,

Leaping and jumping;

River-deer and roebucks look for their food,

Rushing and scurrying.

Standing on the grassy slope,

No traveler can one see;

Walking deep in the hollows,

All around are jackals and wolves.

This is no place for a Buddha’s self-cultivation,

But a haunt of birds and beasts.

The master trembled as he advanced deep into these mountains, his heart gripped with terror. Reining in his horse, he called out,

“After I grew in wisdom and took my vows,

His Majesty escorted me from the capital.

On my journey I met three wayward ones

To help me along as I rode in the saddle.

Over Hillside and gully I seek the scriptures,

Climbing many mountains to worship the Buddha.


Output:
Climbing many mountains to worship the Buddha.

Guarding myself as if behind a fence,

When will I return to visit the royal palace?”

Monkey’s reaction to hearing this was to say with a mocking laugh, “Don’t worry, Master, and don’t be so anxious. Just take it easy and carry on. Besides, you’re bound to succeed because you’re such a trier.” Master and disciples strode forward, enjoying the mountain scenery. Before they realized it the sun had sunk in the West. Indeed:

From the ten-mile pavilion no travelers leave,

In the ninefold heavens the stars appear,

On the eight streams the boats are all in harbor,

In seven thousand cities the gates have been shut.

From the six palaces and five departments the officials have gone;

On the four seas and three rivers the fishing lines rest.

In the two towers the drum and bell sound;

One bright moon fills the earth and sky.


Output:
One bright moon fills the earth and sky.

Looking into the distance the venerable elder saw many lines of towers and great halls, one behind another. “Disciples,” said Sanzang, “it’s getting late now. Luckily there are those towers and halls nearby. I think they must belong to a Buddhist or Taoist monastery or convent. Let’s spend the night there and be on our way again in the morning.”

“You’re right, Master,” said Monkey, “but be patient. Wait till I’ve had a look to see whether it’s a good or an evil place.” The Great Sage leapt up into the air and examined it very closely. It was indeed a Buddhist monastery. He could see

A tiled wall plastered with red,

Golden studs on both the gates.

Line behind line of towers, amid the hills,

Hall upon hall concealed within the mountains.

The Building of Ten Thousand Buddhas faces the Tathagata Hall,

The Sunshine Terrace opposite the Hero Gate.

The seven-storied pagoda gathers night mists,

The three Buddha statues show their glory.


Output:
The three Buddha statues show their glory.

The Manjusri Tower next to the monks’ dormitory,

The Maitreya Pavilion beside the Hall of Mercy.

Outside the Mountain Tower the green lights dance,

Purple clouds rise from the Void-pacing Hall.

The green of the pines joins the green of the bamboo,

All is purity in the abbot’s meditation hall.

In quiet elegance the music is performed,

And all the streams rejoice as they return.

In the place of meditation dhyana monks teach;

Many instruments play in the music room.

On the Terrace of Wonder the epiphyllum flower falls,

Before the preaching hall the palm of scripture grows.

The place of the Three Treasures is shaded by the woods;

The mountains guard the Indian prince’s palace.

Along the walls the burning lamps shine bright;

The air is thick with smoke from incense sticks.


Output:
The air is thick with smoke from incense sticks.

Bringing his cloud down to land, Sun the Great Sage reported to Sanzang, “Master, it’s a Buddhist monastery, and it will be a good place to spend the night. Let’s go there.” The venerable elder let his horse go forward again, and they went straight on till they were outside the monastery gate. “Master,” asked Monkey, “what monastery is this?”

“It’s most unreasonable to ask that,” Sanzang replied, “when my horse has only this moment stopped and I haven’t even had the time to take my foot out of the stirrup.”

“But you’ve been a monk since childhood, venerable sir,” said Monkey. “You were taught Confucian books before you studied the sutras and the dharma. You’re very widely educated and on top of that you’ve been shown great kindness by the Tang Emperor. So how come you can’t read those great big letters over the gate?”


Output:
“You stupid macaque,” cursed the venerable elder, “you don’t know what you’re talking about. I was urging my horse Westwards and had the sun in my eyes. Besides, the letters are hidden by the dust. That’s why I didn’t see them.” At this Monkey bowed, made himself over twenty feet tall, wiped the dust away with his hand, and invited his master to read them. There were five words written large: IMPERIALLY FOUNDED PRECIOUS WOOD MONASTERY. Monkey resumed his normal size and asked the master which of them was to go into the monastery to ask for lodging.

“I will,” said Sanzang. “You are all so ugly, coarsely spoken, abrasive and overbearing that you might give the monks here such a fright that they refused to shelter us. That would be no good.”

“In that case, Master,” replied Monkey, “enough said. Please go in.”


Output:
Sanzang laid down his monastic staff, removed his cape, neatened up his clothes, put his hands together and went in through the monastery gates. Behind red lacquered railings on either side two vajrapani guardian gods sat on high. These statues were both majestic and hideous:

One’s iron face and steel whiskers seemed to be alive,

The other’s scorched brow and bulging eyes were exquisitely carved.

On the left were fists knobbly like pig iron,

To the right were hands as rough as copper ore.

Their golden chainmail gleamed in the light,

Helmet and embroidered sash floated in the breeze.

Many worship the Buddha in the West;

Red glows the incense in stone tripods.


Output: When Sanzang saw these statues he nodded, sighed and said, “If we had people in the East who could make big statues like these to burn incense to and worship I’d never have needed to go to the Western Heaven.” With more sighs he went through the inner gates of the monastery, where could be seen statues of Four Heavenly Kings, Dhrtarastra, Vaisravana, Virudhaka and Yirupaksa, set to the East, North, South and West to ensure the proper amounts of wind and rain. Once inside the inner gates he saw four lofty pines, each with a spreading canopy shaped like a parasol. He suddenly looked up to see the main Buddha hall. Placing his hands together in homage he prostrated himself before the images, then rose, walked round the platform on which the Buddha statues sat, and went out by the back door. He saw that at the back of the Buddha statues was one of the Bodhisattva Guanyin saving all beings in the Southern Sea. The craftsmanship was superb: there were figures of shrimps, fish, crabs, and turtles with heads and


Output: shrimps, fish, crabs, and turtles with heads and tails emerging from the composition as they leapt and played in the ocean waves.


Output:
The venerable elder nodded several more times, and sighed over and over again, “Oh dear! If all the creatures of scale and shell worship the Buddha, why is it that man alone will not live virtuously?”

As he sighed a monk came out through the innermost gate. Seeing Sanzang’s remarkable and distinguished appearance he hurried up to him, greeted him courteously, and said, “Where are you from, reverend sir?”

“I have been sent by His Majesty the Tang Emperor,” Sanzang replied, “to worship the Buddha in the Western Heaven and fetch the scriptures. As we have reached your illustrious monastery at evening I request that we be allowed to spend the night here.”


Output:
“Reverend Sir,” said the monk, “please don’t be angry with, me, but it’s not for me to decide. I’m just a lay brother who sweeps and strikes the bell and does menial duties. We have a reverend abbot inside who is in charge here and I’ll have to report to him. If he allows you to stay I’ll come out again with an invitation, but if he doesn’t then I’m afraid I won’t be able to waste any more of your time.”

“Thank you for your trouble,” said Sanzang.

The lay brother hurried inside to report to the abbot, who was also the superintendent of ecclesiastical affairs, “There’s someone outside, sir.” The abbot rose, dressed himself in his miter and his vestments, and quickly opened the doors to let him in.

“Where is he?” he asked the lay brother.

“Can’t you see him over there, behind the main hall?” the lay brother replied.


Output:
Sanzang, who was leaning against the gateway, was bareheaded and wearing a monastic habit made of twenty-five strips of cloth and a pair of dirty, water-stained Bodhidharma sandals. At the sight of him the abbot said to the lay brother, “You need a lot more floggings yet, brother. Don’t you realize that I hold high office in this monastery and only receive the gentry who come from town to burn incense here? How could you be so empty-headed as to ask me to receive a monk like that? Just look at his face. You can see he isn’t honest. He’s probably a wandering mendicant monk asking for lodging here because it’s late. Our lodgings are not to be disturbed by the likes of him. He can spend the night squatting under the eaves. Why tell me about him?” With that he turned and walked away.

Sanzang, who heard all this, had tears running down his face. “Alas,” he said, “alas. How true it is that ‘a man away from home is dirt.’ I have been a monk since I was a boy. I have never

‘Absolved the dead when eating meat


Output:
‘Absolved the dead when eating meat

Or thought of doing harm,

Or read the Sutras angrily,

Or reflected without calm.

Nor have I

Thrown roof tiles, or heaved a brick

To harm a temple building,

Or ever scraped from arhat’s face

The very precious gilding.

Oh dear! Goodness only knows in what existence I did such harm to Heaven and Earth that I should always be meeting evil people in this one. Even if you will not give us a night’s lodging, monk, why did you have to say such disgraceful things, and tell us to squat under the front eaves? It’s a good thing you said nothing like that to Wukong. If you had he would have come in here and smashed your feet with his iron cudgel.”

“Oh well, never mind,” thought Sanzang. “As the saying goes, manners maketh man. I’ll go in, ask him and see what he decides.”


Output:
The Master walked in through the gate to the abbot’s lodgings, where he saw the abbot sitting with his outer clothes off and seething with fury. Sanzang did not know from the pile of paper on his table whether he was reading scripture or writing out Buddhist pardons for somebody.

Not venturing to go any further in, Sanzang stood in the courtyard, bowed, and called aloud, “My lord abbot, your disciple pays his respects.”

The monk, apparently very irritated that he had come in, barely acknowledged his greeting and asked, “Where are you from?”

To this Sanzang replied, “I have been sent by His Majesty the Great Tang Emperor to worship the living Buddha in the Western Heaven and fetch the scriptures. It was because I have reached your illustrious monastery at nightfall that I have come to ask for lodging. I’ll leave before first light tomorrow. I beg, venerable abbot, that you will show me kindness.”

Only then did the abbot make a slight bow and ask, “Are you Tang Sanzang?”

“Yes, I am.”


Output:
“Yes, I am.”

“If you are going to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures, how is that you don’t know the way?”

“I’ve never been here before,” said Sanzang.

“About a mile and a half to the West is Ten Mile Inn,” said the abbot, “where they sell food and you can put up for the night. It would not be convenient for you monks from far away to stay here.”

“There is a saying, abbot,” replied Sanzang, “that ‘Buddhist and Taoist monasteries and convents are all rest-houses for us monks; the sight of the temple gate is worth a big helping of rice.’ You can’t refuse us. What do you mean by it?”

“You wandering monks,” roared the abbot in fury, “you’ve all got the gift of the gab, haven’t you?”

“Why do you say that?” asked Sanzang, to which the abbot replied, “There’s an old saying that goes,

When the tiger came to town,

Every household shut its door.

Although he’d bitten no one yet,

Tiger’s name was bad before.”

“What do you mean, ‘Tiger’s name was bad before?’” asked Sanzang.


Output:
“Some years ago,” the other replied, “a group of itinerant monks came and sat down at our gates. Seeing how wretched they were—their clothes all torn, barefoot and bareheaded—I was sorry for them being so ragged. So I asked them into my quarters, gave them the best places to sit, provided them with a meal, lent each of them an old habit, and let them stay for a few days. Little did I imagine that the free food and the free clothing would put all thought of leaving out of their minds. They stayed for seven or eight years. Staying wasn’t so bad, but it was all the terrible things they did.”

“What terrible things?” asked Sanzang. “Listen while I tell you,” replied the abbot,

“When idle or bored they threw bricks around,

Or tore out the studs from the monastery walls.

On cold days they burnt all the window-frames up,

Slept outside in summer on dismantled doors.

“They ripped up the banners to make themselves foot-cloths,

Traded our incense and ivory for turnips,


Output:
Traded our incense and ivory for turnips,

Stole oil from the lamp that never goes out,

And gambled away all our cauldrons and dishes.”

“Oh dear,” thought Sanzang on hearing this, “I’m not a spineless monk like them.” He was on the point of tears, but then thought that the abbot might mock him, so he discreetly dried them with his clothes, held back his sobs, and hurried out to see his three disciples.

At the sigh of his master’s angry expression Monkey asked him, “Master, did the monks in there beat you up?”

“No,” replied Sanzang.

“They must have,” said Monkey, “or why else did I hear sobbing? Did they tell you off?”

“No,” said Sanzang. “They did not tell me off.”

“If they didn’t beat you or reproach you, why look so upset?” asked Monkey. “Don’t tell me it’s because you’re homesick.”

“This is not a good place,” said the Tang Priest.

“They must be Taoists here,” said Monkey with a grin.


Output:
“You only get Taoists in a Taoist temple,” retorted Sanzang angrily. “In a Buddhist monastery there are Buddhist monks.”

“You’re hopeless,” said Monkey. “If they’re Buddhist monks they’re like us. As the saying goes, ‘All in the Buddhist community are friends.’ You sit here while I take a look around.”

The splendid Monkey touched the gold band round his head, tightened his kilt, went straight into the main shrine-hall, pointed at the three Buddha statues and said, “You may only be imitations made of gilded clay, but you must have some feeling inside. I’m here this evening to ask for a night’s lodging because I’m escorting the holy Tang Priest to worship the Buddha and fetch the scriptures in the Western Heaven. Announce us this instant. If you don’t put us up for the night I’ll smash you gilded bodies with one crack of this cudgel and show you up for the dirt that you really are.”