Output:
Moksa Obeys the Dharma and Wins Friar Sand Over

The story tells how the Tang Priest and his two disciples escaped from their troubles and pressed forward. Before long they had crossed the Yellow Wind Ridge and were heading West across a plain. The time passed rapidly, and summer gave way to autumn. Cold cicadas sang in moulting willow trees, and the Great Fire Star sank below the Western horizon. As they were travelling one day they saw the mighty waves of a great river, boiling and raging. “Disciple,” called out Sanzang from his horse, “do you see that broad river in front of us? Why are there no boats on it, and how are we going to get across?”


Output:
“Those are really terrible waves,” said Pig when he saw the river, “and there aren’t any boats to ferry us over.” Monkey sprang into the sky, shaded his eyes with his hand, and looked. “Master,” he said with horror, “we’re in big trouble here. I can cross a river like this with a twist of my waist, but I’m afraid you’ll never be able to cross it in ten thousand years.”

“How wide is it, then?” Sanzang asked. “I can’t see the other bank from here.”


Output:
“About three hundred miles,” Monkey replied. “How can you be so sure of the distance, brother?” Pig asked. “These eyes of mine can see what’s happening three hundred and fifty miles away in daytime,” Monkey replied. “When I took a look from up in the air just now I couldn’t make out the length of the river, but I could see that it was a good three hundred and fifty miles wide.” Depressed and worried, Sanzang reined in his horse and noticed a stone tablet beside the river. The three of them went to look at it, and they saw the words FLOWING SANDS RIVER inscribed on it in the ancient curly style. On the base of the tablet were four lines in the standard script:

“Three hundred miles of flowing sands,

Three thousand fathoms of weak water,

On which a goose feather will not float,

And the flower of a reed will sink.”

As the three of them were looking at this tablet they heard the waves make a roar like a collapsing mountain as a most hideous evil spirit emerged from the water:


Output:
A head of matted hair, as red as fire,

A pair of staring eyes, gleaming like lamps.

An indigo face, neither black nor green,

A dragon’s voice like drums or thunder.

On his body a cloak of yellow goose-down,

Tied at the waist with white creeper.

Nine skulls hung around his neck,

And in his hands was an enormous staff.

The monster came to the bank in a whirlwind and rushed straight at the Tang Priest. Monkey picked Sanzang up at once, turned, and made off up the high bank. Pig dropped his carrying-pole, grabbed his rake, and struck at the evil spirit, who parried the blow with his staff. Each of them showed his prowess on the banks of the Flowing Sands River, and it was a fine battle:

The nine-pronged rake,

And the ogre-quelling staff:

Two men fighting on the banks of the river.

One was the great commander Tian Peng

The other the banished Curtain-lifting General.

They used to meet in the Hall of Miraculous Mist,

But now they were locked in ferocious combat.


Output:
But now they were locked in ferocious combat.

The rake had dug deep into clawed dragons,

The staff had defeated tusked elephants.

When either was held defensively, it was rock-solid;

In attack they cut into the wind.

While one clawed at head and face,

The other never panicked or left an opening.

One was the man-eating monster of the Flowing Sands River,

The other was a believer, a general cultivating his conduct.

The pair of them battled on for twenty rounds, but neither emerged as the victor. The Great Sage, who was holding on to the horse and looking after the luggage after carrying the Tang Priest to safety, became worked up into such a fury at the sight of Pig and the monster fighting that he ground his teeth and clenched his fists.


Output:
When he could hold himself back no longer, he pulled out his cudgel and said, “Master, you sit here and don’t be afraid. I’m going to play with him.” Ignoring Sanzang’s pleas for him to stay, he whistled, jumped down to the side of the river, and found that the fight between Pig and the ogre was at its height. Brother Monkey swung his cudgel and aimed it at the ogre’s head, but the ogre made a lightning turn and plunged straight into the river. Pig was hopping mad.

“Nobody asked you to come, elder brother,” he said. “That ogre was tiring and he could hardly fend my rake off. With few more rounds I would have captured him, but you gave him such a fright that he ran away, damn it.”


Output:
“Brother,” said Monkey with a smile, “I must tell you frankly that the sight of you fighting so beautifully gave me an uncontrollable itch. I haven’t used my cudgel for a whole month since we came down the mountain after dealing with the Yellow Wind Monster—I just had to join in the fun. How was I to know that the monster wouldn’t want to play and was going to run away?”

The two of them then clasped hands and went back talking and laughing to see Sanzang, who asked, “Did you catch the ogre?”

“No,” Monkey said, “he couldn’t take any more and dived back into the water.”

“He has lived here for a long time, disciple,” Sanzang said, “and must know the shallows and deeps here. We must have a water expert to lead us across this vast expanse of weak water that has no boats.”


Output:
“Yes,” said Monkey, “as the saying goes, ‘What’s near cinnabar goes red, and what’s next to ink turns black.’ As that ogre lives here he must be a water expert, so if we catch him we shouldn’t kill him—we should make him take you across, master, before finishing him off.”

“There’s no time to lose, brother,” said Pig. “You go and catch him while I look after the master.”

“This is something I can’t talk big about,” said Monkey with a smile. “I’m not all that good at underwater stuff. Even to walk underwater I have to make a magic hand movement and recite a water-repelling spell before I can move. The only other way I can get about there is by turning myself into a fish, a shrimp, a crab or a turtle. I can manage any strange and wonderful magic on a mountain or in the clouds that you can do, but when it comes to underwater business, I’m useless.”


Output:
“When I was the commander of the Milky Way, the heavenly river, in the old days,” said Pig, “I had a force of eighty thousand sailors, so I know a bit about water. But I’m afraid that he might have generations of clansmen down there, and that would be too much for me. And if they got me, we’d be in a real mess.”

“You go into the water and start a fight with him there,” said Monkey. “Don’t fight hard, and don’t win. You must lose and lure him out, then I can finish him off for you.”

“Very well then, I’ll be off,” said Pig. After stripping off his brocade tunic and removing his shoes he swung his rake in both hands and made his way into the water, where the tricks he had learned years back enabled him to go through the waves to the river-bed, across which he advanced.


Output:
The ogre had now recovered his breath after his earlier defeat, and when he heard someone pushing the waters aside he leapt to his feet to look. Seeing that it was Pig brandishing his rake, the monster raised his staff and shouted at him, “Where do you think you’re going, monk? Watch out, and take this.”

Pig warded off the blow with his rake and replied. “Who are you, evil spirit, and why are you blocking the way?”

“You may not realize who I am,” the monster replied, “but I’m no fiend, demon, ghost or monster, and I don’t lack a name either.”

“If you’re not a fiend, a demon, or a monster, then why do you live here taking life? Tell me your name truthfully and I’ll spare you life.”

“I,” the monster replied,

“Have had a divine essence since childhood,

And have wandered all over heaven and earth.

I have won glory among the heroes of the world,

And brave knights have taken me as their model.

I traveled at will over countries and continents,

Going where I liked in lakes and seas,


Output:
Going where I liked in lakes and seas,

To study the Way I went to the edge of the heavens,

And I roamed the wastes in search of teachers.

In those days I had a cassock and an alms-bowl,

And I kept my mind and spirit well controlled.

I traveled the earth by cloud some dozen times,

Visiting everywhere on a hundred journeys.

The Immortal I finally managed to find

Led me along the great and shining Way.

First I gathered mercury and lead,

Then I let go of the Mother of Wood and Metal’s Father.

The kidney-water behind my brow entered my mouth,

And the liver-fire in my windpipes entered my heart.

With three thousand accomplishment won,

I bowed to the heavenly countenance;

Piously I worshipped him in his glory.

The Great Jade Emperor then promoted me

To be the General Who Lifts the Curtain.

I was honoured within the Southern Gate of Heaven,

Supreme before the Hall of Miraculous Mist.

At my waist was hung the tiger tally,

In my hand I held my demon-quelling staff.


Output:
In my hand I held my demon-quelling staff.

My golden helmet shone like sunlight,

On my body gleamed a suit of armour.

I led the escort for the Emperor’s carriage,

Always took precedence when he entered or left court.

But then the Queen Mother gathered the peaches

And invited all the generals to feast at the Jade Pool.

I carelessly smashed some jade and crystal,

To the horror of all of the heavenly gods.

The Jade Emperor in his terrible fury

Put his hands together and fumed to the vice-premier.

My hat and armour were removed, and I was stripped of office,

Then marched to the place of execution.

Then, to my good fortune, the great Bare-foot Immortal

Stepped forward to ask for my reprieve.

Death was commuted; I was allowed to live

In exile on the East bank of the Flowing Sands River.

When well-fed I sleep in the river waters;

When hungry I burst through the waves in search of food.

If a woodcutter meets me his life is finished—

No fisherman sees me and survives.


Output:
No fisherman sees me and survives.

In one way and another I’ve eaten many a man,

Cloaked as I am in an aura of death.

As you’ve dared to come to make trouble at my gates

My belly has something to look forward to today.

No matter if you’re coarse and don’t taste good,

When I’ve caught you I can cut you up for salted mince.”

Pig was extremely angry to hear this, and he replied, “You’re completely blind, wretch. I can catch bubbles in my fingers, so how dare you say that I’m so coarse you’ll cut me up for salted mince? So you take me to be a very well-cured side of ham! Don’t be impudent—take a dose of this rake.” When the monster saw the rake coming at him he did a “phoenix nod” to avoid it. The two of them fought their way up to the surface of the water, where each of them trod on the waves as they struggled in a combat that was even fiercer than their previous one.

The Curtain-lifting General,

And Marshal Tian Peng;

Each gave a splendid show of magic powers.


Output:
Each gave a splendid show of magic powers.

The ogre-quelling staff wheels around the head,

The nine-pronged rake is swift in the hand.

As they leap on the waves, they shake hills and rivers,

Darkening the world as they push the waters aside,

As terrible as the Disaster Star striking banners and pendants,

As frightening as lifting the canopy off the Death Star.

One was the loyal defender of the Tang Priest,

The other, a criminal, was an ogre of the waters.

Where the rake struck it left nine scars;

When the staff smote, all the souls were scattered.

Cheerfully fighting for all they were worth,

They put all their hearts into the combat.

Although he is only a pilgrim fetching scriptures

His unrestrained anger bursts against the sky.

Such was the chaos that the fishes lost their scales,

While the soft shells of terrapins were crushed;

Red prawns and purple crabs all lost their lives,

And all the gods of the water palace prayed to heaven.

The only sound was the thunder of crashing waves;


Output:
Sun and moon were dark, to the horror of earth and sky.

They battled on for four hours, but the issue was still undecided. It was as if a brass pan was fighting an iron brush, or a jade chime was competing with a golden bell.


Output:
The Great Sage, who was standing beside the Tang Priest to guard him, watched the fight on the water with longing, unable to do anything. Then Pig feinted with his rake, pretended to be beaten, and made for the Eastern bank with the ogre rushing after him. When he had almost reached the bank, Monkey could hold himself back no longer. Abandoning his master, he sprang down to the river’s edge with his cudgel in his hand and took a swing at the ogre’s head. Not daring to face him, the monster went straight back into the river. “Protector of the Horses,” Pig shouted, “you impatient ape. You should have taken it a bit more slowly and waited till I’d drawn him up to high ground, and then cut him off from the river-bank. Then he wouldn’t have been able to go back and we’d have caught him. But now he’s gone back in, he’ll never come out again.”

“Don’t shout, idiot,” Monkey said with a smile, “don’t shout. Let’s go back and see our master.”


Output:
When Pig reached the top of the bank with Monkey, Sanzang bowed to him and said, “You’ve had a tough time, disciple.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Pig replied. “But if we’d captured that evil spirit and made him take you across the river, that would have been the perfect solution.”

“How did your battle with the evil spirit go?” Sanzang asked.

“He’s as good as me,” Pig replied. “When I pretended to be beaten in the fight he chased me to the river’s edge; but then he saw elder brother waving his cudgel, so he ran away.”

“So what are we going to do?” Sanzang asked.

“Relax, master,” said Monkey, “there’s no need to worry. It’s getting late, so you’d better sit on the bank while I go and beg some food. When you’ve eaten that you can go to sleep, and we can decide what to do tomorrow morning.”

“Good idea,” said Pig. “Be as quick as you can.”


Output:
“Good idea,” said Pig. “Be as quick as you can.”

Monkey leapt up on his cloud, went due North to a house where he begged some food, and came back to give it to his master. Seeing him come back so soon, Sanzang said to him, “Monkey, let’s go to the house where you begged this food and ask them how to cross this river. That would be better than having to fight this ogre.”

“But that house is a long way away,” laughed Monkey. “It’s about two thousand miles from here. What would be the point in asking them about this river? They wouldn’t know anything about it.”

“You’re telling tall stories again,” Pig said. “If it’s two thousand miles away, how did you get there and back so fast?”

“You wouldn’t know, of course,” Brother Monkey replied, “that my somersault cloud can cover thirty-six thousand miles with a single bound. To do a mere two-thousand-mile return journey takes only a couple of nods and a bow—there’s nothing to it.”


Output:
“If it’s so easy, brother,” said Pig, “you should carry the master on your back, take him across with just a couple of nods and a bow, and save us all the trouble of fighting the monster.”

“You can ride clouds, can’t you?” said Monkey. “Why don’t you carry the master across?”

“The master’s mortal flesh and bones are heavier than Mount Tai,” said Pig, “So although I can ride clouds I could never lift him. Nothing but your somersault will do the trick.”


Output: “My somersault is the same as cloud-riding.” Monkey said, “except that it takes you further. I’m no more able to carry him than you are. As the old saying goes, ‘Mount Tai is as easy to move as a mustard seed, but a mortal cannot be dragged away from the earthly dust.’ When that other poisonous monster of a fiend made a magic wind I could only move the master by dragging and tugging him along the ground. Of course. I can do tricks like that, and all those other ones like making myself invisible or shrinking land. But although our master cannot escape from the sea of suffering he wants to go to a foreign land, so he finds every inch of the way heavy going. All we can do is escort him and see that he comes to no harm. We can’t undergo all that suffering on his behalf, nor can we fetch the scriptures for him. Even if we went ahead to see the Buddha, he wouldn’t give the scriptures to you or me. After all, if we could get them that easily, we’d have nothing to do.” The idiot accepted everything Monkey said, then


Output: The idiot accepted everything Monkey said, then they ate some plain rice without any vegetables, after which the three of them went to sleep on the Eastern bank of the Flowing Sands River.


Output:
“Monkey,” said Sanzang the next morning, “what are we going to do about it today?”

“There’s nothing for it but to send Pig back under the water,” Monkey replied. “You’re making me go underwater because you want to stay dry, brother,” Pig protested. “I won’t be impatient this time,” Monkey said. “I’ll let you lure him out onto the bank and then I’ll cut him off from the river. That way we’ll be bound to catch him.”

Dear Pig rubbed his face, summoned up his energy, took his rake in both hands, went down to the river, and parted the waters as he went back to the monster’s lair once more. The ogre, who had only just woken up, turned to see what was happening the moment he heard the waters being pushed apart. Observing that a rake-wielding Pig was upon him, he sprang to his feet to stop him, shouting, “Not so fast, not so fast. Take this.” Pig blocked the blow from the staff with his rake and said, “What do you mean by telling your ancestor to ‘take this’ from that mourner’s staff of yours?”


Output:
“You know nothing, you wretch,” the monster replied, continuing:

“Great is the fame of this staff of mine,

Made from a Sala tree on the moon.

Wu Gang cut down a branch of it,

For Lu Ban to work with his unrivalled skill.

A strip of gold goes right through its heart,

And it is set with countless pearls.

It is a precious staff, fine for subduing fiends;

It could quell all demons when it guarded the Heavenly Palace.

When I was commissioned as High General

The Jade Emperor gave it me to use.

It can be any length I wish,

Thick or thin, responding to my will.

It protected the Emperor at Peach Banquets,

Attended at court in the upper world.

When I was at the palace, it met all the sages,

When I lifted the curtain, it greeted the Immortals.

I nurtured it and made it a divine weapon—

This is no ordinary earthly arm.

When I was sent down from Heaven in exile

I roamed at will throughout the world.

I do not need to boast about this staff,

Unmatched by any spear or saber in the world.


Output:
Unmatched by any spear or saber in the world.

Look at that rusty rake of yours,

Only good for farming or growing vegetables.”

“I’ll give you the beating you deserve, damn you,” said Pig. “Never mind about vegetable-growing—one swipe from it and you’ll have nowhere left to put ointment, because your blood will be pouring out from nine holes. Even if it doesn’t kill you, you’ll have tetanus for the rest of your days.” The ogre dropped his defensive posture and fought with Pig from the river-bed to the surface of the water. This battle was fiercer than the earlier ones:

The precious staff whirled,

The deadly rake struck,

And no word passed between the two foes.

Because the Mother of Wood conquered the Medicine Measure

The pair of them had to fight each other twice.

With no victory,

And no defeat,

The waves were overturned and knew no peace.

How could the one hold back his anger?

How could the other bear his humiliation?

As the staff parried the rake’s blows, they showed their prowess;


Output:
Each was most vicious as the Flowing Sands River rolled.

Towering rage,

Strenuous efforts,

All because Sanzang wanted to go West.

The rake was thoroughly murderous,

The staff was wielded with experience.

Pig grabbed his enemy, trying to drag him ashore,

While the other in torn tried to pull Pig under water.

The thunderous noise disturbed fish and dragons;

Gods and ghosts lay low as the sky was darkened.

The battle went on for thirty rounds, but neither emerged victorious. Pig feigned defeat once again, and fled trailing his rake behind him. The ogre charged through the waves after him as far as the bank, when Pig shouted at him, “I’ll get you, you damned ogre. Come up on this higher ground where we can fight with dry land under our feet.”

“You’re trying to lure me up there, damn you,” the monster replied, “for your mate to come and get me. Come back and fight in the water.” The fiend, who had more sense than to go up the bank again, stood at the river’s edge, shouting it out with Pig.


Output:
When Monkey saw that the monster was not coming up on the bank he seethed with frustration at not being able to catch him. “Master,” he said, “you sit here while I do a ‘Hungry Eagle Falling on Its Prey’ on him.” He somersaulted into mid-air, then plummeted down to catch the ogre, who heard the noise of a wind as he was yelling at Pig, turned immediately, and saw Monkey descending from the clouds. He put his staff away, plunged into the water with a splash, and was seen no more. “Brother,” said Monkey to Pig as he landed on the bank, “the monster’s made a smooth getaway. Whatever are we to do if he won’t come on to the bank again?”

“It’s impossible,” said Pig, “We’ll never be able to beat him. Even if I put everything I’ve got into it, I can only hold my own against him.”

“Let’s go and see the master,” Monkey said.


Output:
“Let’s go and see the master,” Monkey said.

The two of them climbed the bank and told the Tang Priest about the difficulty of capturing the ogre. “It’s so hard,” said Sanzang, tears streaming down his cheeks. “However are we going to cross?”

“No need to worry, master,” said Monkey. “The monster is lurking deep down on the river-bed, where it’s very hard to move around. You stay here and look after the master, Pig, and don’t fight with the ogre again. I’m going to the Southern Sea.”

“What for?” Pig asked. “This whole business of fetching the scriptures was started by the Bodhisattva Guanyin, and it was she who converted us. Now we are stuck here at the Flowing Sands River nobody but she can sort this one out. With her help we’ll be in a stronger position to fight that monster.”

“Yes, yes,” said Pig, “and when you’re there, please thank her for converting me.”

“If you’re going to ask the Bodhisattva to come,” Sanzang said, “don’t waste a moment, and be back as quickly as possible.”


Output:
Monkey then somersaulted off on his cloud towards the Southern Sea, and before an hour was up he saw Potaraka Island. An instant later he landed outside the Purple Bamboo Grove, where the twenty-four devas came forward to greet him with the words, “Why have you come, Great Sage?”

“Because my master is in trouble,” Monkey replied, “I have come for an audience with the Bodhisattva.” The deva on duty that day asked Monkey to sit down while he went in to report, whereupon he went into the Tide Cave to announce that Sun Wukong was seeking an audience on business. The Bodhisattva was leaning on a balcony looking at the blossoms in the Precious Lotus Pool with the Dragon Princess Peng Zhu when she heard the news. She went back in her cloudy majesty, opening the door and summoning Monkey to her presence. The Great Sage greeted her with grave reverence.

“Why aren’t you looking after the Tang Priest,” she asked, “and why have you come to see me.?”


Output:
“My master won a new disciple at Gao Village, Bodhisattva,” Brother Monkey reported. “He’s called Zhu Bajie and also has the Buddhist name Wuneng thanks to you. We have now reached the Flowing Sands River after crossing the Yellow Wind Ridge, but it’s a thousand miles of Ruo River and my master cannot cross it. On top of this there’s an evil monster in the river who’s a great fighter, and although our Pig had three great battles with him on the surface of the water, he couldn’t beat the ogre, who is still blocking our way and preventing my master from crossing. This is why I’ve come to see you and ask you in your mercy to help him across.”

“You have revealed your conceit once again, you ape,” said the Bodhisattva. “Why didn’t you tell the monster that you were protecting the Tang Priest?”


Output:
“We wanted to catch him,” Monkey replied, “and make him take our master across the river. As I’m not up to much in the water, Pig was the only one who could find the ogre’s den and did all the talking. I expect he never mentioned fetching the scriptures.”

“The ogre of the Flowing Sands River is the mortal incarnation of the Great Curtain-lifting General,” said Guanyin, “and is a believer whom I converted myself and instructed to protect those who would be coming to fetch the scriptures. If you had told him that you had come from the East to fetch the scriptures, so far from fighting you, he would certainly have joined you.”

“But the craven monster is now skulking in the river, too frightened to come out,” Monkey said, “so how are we to make him join us, and how is my master to cross the weak water?”


Output:
The Bodhisattva sent for her disciple Huian and produced a red bottle-gourd from her sleeve. “Take this gourd,” she said, “and go with Sun Wukong to the Flowing Sands River. Shout ‘Wujing’—‘Awakened to Purity’—and he’ll come out. First take him to submit to the Tang Priest, and then make him thread his nine skulls on a string like the Sacred Palaces. If he puts this gourd in the middle of them, it will make a dharma boat to ferry the Tang Priest across the river.” In obedience to the Bodhisattva’s command, Huian and the Great Sage took the gourd with them from the Tide Cave and the Purple Bamboo Grove. There are some lines to describe it:

The Five Elements were combined with the heavenly Immortal,

Recognizing their master of the old days.

They have been sufficiently refined to achieve great things;

When true and false are distinguished, origins are seen.

When Metal joins Nature, like joins like;

When Wood seeks the Passions, both are lost.

When the two Earths achieve nirvana,


Output:
When the two Earths achieve nirvana,

Fire and Water will combine, and worldly dust be no more.

A little later the pair of them brought their clouds down to land on the bank of the Flowing Sands River. Recognizing Huian as Moksa the Novice, Pig led his master forward to meet him. When Moksa had exchanged courtesies with Sanzang, he greeted Pig.

Then Pig said, “Thanks to Your Holiness’s instruction, I was able to meet the Bodhisattva, and since then I have obeyed the Buddhist law and had the pleasure of becoming a monk. As I have been travelling since then, I’ve been too busy to go and thank you. Please forgive me.”

“Don’t be so longwinded,” said Monkey. “Let’s go and call to that wretch.”


Output: “Call to whom?” asked Sanzang. “I saw the Bodhisattva,” said Monkey, “and told her what had happened. She said that the ogre of the Flowing Sands River is the mortal incarnation of the Great Curtain-lifting General, who was thrown down to this river as a monster because of a crime he had committed in Heaven. He has been converted by the Bodhisattva and has vowed to go to the Western Heaven with you. If we’d told him we were going to fetch the scriptures, there would have been none of this bitter fighting. The Bodhisattva has now sent Moksa to give this gourd to that fellow to make a dharma boat that will ferry you across.” Sanzang bowed in reverence to the Bodhisattva many times when he heard it, and also bowed to Moksa with the words, “Please do this as quickly as you can, Your Holiness.” Moksa then went by cloud and stood over the river with the gourd in his hands.


Output:
“Wujing, Wujing,” he shouted at the top of his voice, “the pilgrims who are going to fetch the scriptures have been here for a long time. Why haven’t you submitted to them?”

The ogre, who had gone back to the river-bed for fear of the Monkey King, was resting in his den when he heard his Buddhist name being called and realized that this was a message from the Bodhisattva Guanyin. On hearing that the pilgrims were there, his fears of being attacked melted away, and he pushed his head up through the waves to see that it was Moksa the Novice. Look at him as he bows to Moksa, his face wreathed in smiles. “I’m sorry I did not welcome you properly, Your Holiness,” he said. “Where is the Bodhisattva?”

“She didn’t come,” Moksa replied. “She sent me to tell you to be the Tang Priest’s disciple. You are to take the nine skulls you wear round your neck, arrange them with this gourd in the pattern of the Nine Sacred Palaces, and make a dharma boat to ferry him across this weak water.”


Output:
“Where is the pilgrim?” Wujing asked.

“There he is, sitting on the bank,” said Moksa, pointing at Sanzang.

Wujing then noticed Pig and said, “I don’t know where that bloody creature is from, but he fought with me for two whole days and never said a word about fetching scriptures. And as for this one,” he added, noticing Monkey, “he’s that one’s accomplice and a real terror. I’m not going with them.”

“That one is Zhu Bajie, and this one is Brother Monkey. They are both disciples of the Tang Priest who have been converted by the Bodhisattva, so you have nothing to fear from them. Let me present you to the Tang Priest.” Wujing put away his staff, straightened his yellow brocade tunic, jumped ashore, knelt before the Tang Priest, and said, “Master, your disciple’s eyes have no pupils in them—I beg you to forgive me for attacking your followers instead of recognizing who they were.”

“You pustule,” said Pig, “why did you fight me instead of submitting? What did you mean by it?”


Output:
“You can’t blame him, brother,” said Monkey. “We didn’t tell him our names or even mention fetching the scriptures.”

“Do you believe in our teachings with all your heart?” Sanzang asked.

“I was converted by the Bodhisattva,” Wujing replied, “and she gave me this river’s name as a surname and called me by the Buddhist name of Sha Wujing, or Sand Awakened to Purity, so of course I must follow you, master.”

“In that case,” said Sanzang, “bring the razor over, Monkey, and cut his hair off.” The Great Sage obediently shaved the monster’s head, who then bowed to Sanzang, Monkey, and Pig with appropriate degrees of reverence. When Sanzang saw him do this just like a real monk he gave him another name—Friar Sand.

“Now that you have entered the faith,” said Moksa, “there’s no need to waste time talking. Make that dharma boat at once.”


Output:
Friar Sand took the skulls from round his neck without delay and tied them into the pattern of the Nine Palaces with the Bodhisattva’s gourd in the middle. Then he asked Sanzang to board it, and Sanzang found when he sat on it that it was as stable as a small dinghy. Pig and Friar San supported him to left and right, while Monkey led the dragon horse through the clouds behind him, and Moksa stood above him on guard. Sanzang thus made a calm and windless crossing of the weak water of the Flowing Sands River. He moved with the speed of an arrow, and it was not long before he climbed ashore on the other side. He was neither wet nor muddy, and his hands and feet were completely dry. Thus it was that master and disciples trod on dry land again without any trouble. Moksa then landed his cloud, and took back the gourd. The nine skulls changed into nine gusts of wind and disappeared. Sanzang bowed to Moksa to thank him and worshipped the Bodhisattva, after which

Moksa returned to the Eastern Ocean,


Output:
Moksa returned to the Eastern Ocean,

While Sanzang remounted and headed West.

If you don’t know when they won their reward and fetched the scriptures, listen to the explanation in the next chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Sanzang Does Not Forget the Basic

The Four Holy Ones Have Their Piety Tested

Long is the road as they travel West;

In the rustling autumn breeze the frost-killed flowers fall.

The cunning ape is firmly chained—do not untie him;

The wicked horse is tightly reined—don’t whip him on.

The Mother of Wood and Father of Metal were originally combined;

Between the Yellow Mother and the Red Babe there was no difference.

When the iron pill is bitten open, truth is revealed;

The Prajna-paramita has reached that person.


Output:
The Prajna-paramita has reached that person.

Although this book is about the journey to fetch the scriptures, it never leaves the subject of how the individual strives for the basic. The four of them, having understood the truth, shaken off the chains of the mortal world, and leapt away from the flowing sands of the sea of nature, headed along the main road West free of all impediment. They crossed blue mountains and green rivers, and saw no end of wild flowers. The time flew by, and before long it was autumn. They saw:

Hills covered with red maple leaves,

Yellow chrysanthemums braving the evening breeze,

Aging cicadas singing with less vigor,

Autumn crickets longing for the days of plenty.

The lotus was losing its green silken leaves,

The fragrant orange tree was massed with golden globes.

Lines of wild geese, alas,

Spread out like dots across the distant sky.


Output:
Spread out like dots across the distant sky.

As they were travelling along one day, evening drew in, and Sanzang said, “Where are we going to sleep, disciples, now that it’s getting late?”

“That’s not the right thing to say, master,” said Monkey. “We monks are supposed to eat the wind and drink the rain, and sleep under the moon and in the frost. Our home is wherever we are. So why ask where we’re going to sleep?”

“You may think that you’ve had an easy journey,” said Pig, “but you don’t give a damn about other people being tired. Ever since we crossed the Flowing Sands River we’ve been going over mountain ranges, and this heavy load has fairly worn me out. We’ve got to find a house where we can beg some tea and food and have a good rest—it’s only fair.”

“It sounds to me, idiot, as though you’re having regrets,” said Monkey. “I’m afraid you can’t have such an easy life now as you did back in Gao Village. If you want to be a monk, you have to suffer—it’s the only way of being a true disciple.”


Output:
“How heavy do you think this load is?” Pig asked.

“I haven’t carried it since you and Friar Sand joined us, so how should I know?” Monkey replied.

“Just add it up,” said Pig. “There are

Four bundles wrapped in yellow bamboo mats,

Eight ropes of assorted lengths.

Then, to keep out rain and damp,

Three or four layers of felt around it

The carrying-pole is terrible slippery

With nails at either end.

Then there’s a bronze and iron nine-ringed staff

And a cape made of bamboo and creeper.

With all this luggage to carry day after day of course I find the going heavy. While you’re allowed to be the master’s disciple, I’m treated as a hired hand.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to, idiot?” Monkey asked.

“I’m talking to you, elder brother,” said Pig.


Output:
“I’m talking to you, elder brother,” said Pig.

“You shouldn’t be complaining about this to me,” Monkey replied. “My job is to look after the master’s safety, while you and Friar Sand look after the horse and the luggage. And if there’s any slacking from you, you’ll feel a heavy stick about you ankles.”

“Don’t threaten me with a beating, brother,” said Pig, “that would be bullying. I know that you’re too high and mighty to carry the luggage, but the master’s horse is a big, sturdy animal to be carrying only one old monk. I’d be very happy if it could carry a few pieces of luggage.”


Output:
“Do you think he’s a horse?” Monkey asked. “He’s no ordinary horse. He was the son of Ao Run, the Dragon King of the Western Sea, and his name is Prince Dragon-horse. Because he burnt the palace pearls his father reported on him as an offender against the Heavenly Code. Luckily for him, his life saved by the Bodhisattva Guanyin, and he waited a long time for the master in the Eagle’s Sorrow Gorge. He was honoured by another visit from the Bodhisattva, who took off his scales and horns, removed the pearls from under his neck, and turned him into this horse, which has sworn to carry the master to the Western Heaven to visit the Buddha.

This is a matter of him winning merit for himself, so you’d better leave him alone.”

“Is he really a dragon?” asked Friar Sand when he heard this.

“Yes,” Monkey replied.


Output:
“Yes,” Monkey replied.

“I’ve heard an old saying,” Pig remarked, “that dragons can breathe out clouds, make the dust and sand fly, pull mountain ranges up by their roots, and turn oceans upside down. How is it that he’s moving so slowly now?”

“If you want to see him go fast,” Monkey replied, “I’ll make him go fast for you.” The splendid Great Sage gripped his iron cudgel, and countless luminous clouds sprang from it. When the horse saw him grab the cudgel he thought he was going to be hit with it, and in his terror he shot off at the speed of lightning. Sanzang was too weak to rein him in as the equine dashed up the mountainside for all his evil nature was worth before he slackened his pace. When Sanzang began to get his breath back, he looked up and saw some fine houses in the shade of a bamboo grove:

Cypresses were bending over the gates

Of the houses near the blue mountain.

There were several spreading pines

And some molded bamboo.

Wild chrysanthemum outside the fence, beautiful in the frost;


Output:
The orchid by the bridge reflected red in the water.

A whitewashed, plastered wall

Surrounded it.

Handsome was the lofty hall,

Peaceful the main building.

There was no sign of oxen or sheep, or chickens, or dogs;

It seemed to be the slack season after harvest.

Sanzang stopped the horse to take a longer look, and then he saw Monkey and the others arrive. “You didn’t fall off the horse, master?” asked Monkey.

“You gave this horse a terrible fright, you filthy ape,” Sanzang said, “but I kept my seat.”

“Don’t tell me off, master,” said Monkey, putting on a smile. “It was only because Pig said the horse was going too slowly that I made him speed up a bit.”

The blockhead Pig, who had been running quite fast after the horse, was puffing and panting as he mumbled, “Enough of this. When you’re bent double you can’t relax. Although I’m carrying a load so heavy I can’t pick it up, you make me go running after the horse.”


Output:
“Disciple,” said Sanzang, “do you see the farm over there? Let’s ask if we can spend the night there.” Monkey immediately looked up, saw that the sky above it was full of clouds of blessing, and knew that the farm had been miraculously produced by the Buddha or some Immortals.

Not daring to give away the secrets of Heaven, however, he only said, “Splendid, splendid, let’s ask if we can lodge there.” Dismounting from his horse, Sanzang saw a gate-house with pillars like elephants’ trunks and beams that had been painted and carved.

Friar Sand put down the carrying-pole and Pig said as he held the horse, “This is a very wealthy house.”


Output:
Monkey was on the point of going in when Sanzang said, “No, we men of religion should avoid incurring suspicion. You mustn’t go charging in. We should wait till somebody comes out and then ask politely for lodging.” Pig tethered the horse at the sloping base of the wall while Sanzang sat on a stone stool, and Friar Sand and Monkey sat beside the steps. When nobody appeared for a long time Monkey jumped up impatiently and went through the gate to have a look. He saw a large hall facing South whose tall windows were shaded with bamboo curtains. Over the doorway dividing the inner and outer parts of the house was a horizontal landscape painting symbolizing long life and blessings, and on the gold-painted columns flanking the door was pasted a pair of scrolls reading:

“The tender willow leaves sway in the evening by the bridge;

When the plum-blossom looks like snowflakes it is spring in the courtyard.


Output:
In the middle of the room was an incense table whose black lacquer had been polished, an ancient animal-shaped bronze incense-burner standing on it, and six chairs. Pictures of the four seasons were hung on the walls at either end of the hall.

As Monkey was peeping inside he heard footsteps from behind the door at the back. A woman, neither old nor young, came out, and asked in a charming voice, “Who has forced his way into this widow’s house of mine?”

The Great Sage hastened to greet her respectfully and say, “I am a humble monk from the Great Tang in the East, under imperial orders to go to the West to worship the Buddha and ask for the scriptures. There are four of us altogether, and since our journey has brought us this way as evening is drawing in, we have come to your mansion, divine patroness, to beg for a night’s lodging.”


Output:
She returned his greeting with a smile and said, “Where are the other three gentlemen, venerable sir?” at which Monkey shouted, “Master, come in.” Sanzang, Pig and Friar Sand then came in, bringing the horse and the luggage with them. As the woman came out of the hall to welcome them, Pig stole a glance at her with greedy eyes.

She wore a green silk gown,

And over it a pale red jacket;

A skirt of yellow brocade,

Below which showed thick-soled shoes.

Her fashionable coiffure was veiled in black,

Which suited her graying locks, coiled like a dragon;

Palace-style ivory combs shone with red and green,

And two golden pins adorned her hair.

Her half-grey tresses soared like a phoenix in flight,

Two rows of pearls hung from her ear-rings.

Free of powder and paint, her beauty was natural;

She was as attractive as a younger girl.


Output:
She was as attractive as a younger girl.

When she saw the three others she was more pleased than ever, and she invited them into the main room. When all the introductions had been made, she asked them to sit down and have some tea. A servant girl with her hair in plaits came in through the door leading to the back of the house; she was carrying a golden tray on which were set white jade cups of steaming hot tea as well as exotic fruits that smelt delicious. Her sleeves were wide, and with her fingers as slender as bamboo shoots in spring she handed each of them a jade bowl and bowed. When the tea had been drunk, the mistress ordered a meatless meal to be prepared.

“What is your name, venerable Bodhisattva?” asked Sanzang, spreading out his hands. “And what is this place called?”


Output: “This is the Western Continent of Cattle-gift, or Godaniya,” she replied. “My maiden name is Jia and my husband’s name was Mo. In my childhood I had the misfortune of losing both my parents, and I married to continue the ancestral enterprise. Our family is worth ten thousand strings of cash, and we own fifteen thousand acres of good arable land. We were not fated to be given sons, and we only had three daughters. The year before last I suffered the great misfortune of losing my husband. I have remained a widow, and this year I have come out of mourning. There are no other relations to inherit the family estate besides myself and my daughters. I would like to remarry, but not at the price of abandoning the estate. Now that you have come here, venerable sir, with your three disciples, I think it should be you. I and my three daughters want to marry while staying at home, and you four gentlemen would suit us nicely. I wonder if you would be prepared to consent.” Sanzang sat there pretending to be deaf and dumb,


Output: Sanzang sat there pretending to be deaf and dumb, with his eyes shut and his mind kept calm. He made no reply.


Output: “We have over four thousand acres each of irrigated land, dry land, and orchards on hillsides,” she continued, “as well as over a thousand head of oxen and water buffalo, herds of mules and horses, and more pigs and sheep than you could count. There are sixty or seventy farm buildings and barns. We have more grain in the house than we could eat in eight or nine years, and more than enough silk to clothe us for a decade—to say nothing of more gold and silver than you could spend in a lifetime. You’ll be even better off than those ancients who ‘stored spring behind brocade curtains’ and kept girls whose ‘hair was heavy with golden pins’. If you and your disciples are prepared to change your minds and live in this house as our husbands, you can enjoy wealth and ease. Wouldn’t that be better than a difficult journey to the West?” Sanzang sat there silent, as if he were an imbecile.


Output: “I was born at the hour you of the third day of the third month of the year dinghai, “ she continued. “My late husband was three years older than me, and I am now forty-four. My eldest daughter, Zhenzhen, is nineteen; my second, Aiai is seventeen; and Lianlian, the youngest, is fifteen. None of them have been betrothed. Although I am rather ugly myself, the girls are all quite good-looking, and they have all the feminine accomplishments. As my late husband had no sons, he gave them a boy’s education, teaching them to read the Confucian classics from an early age and training them to recite poems and make couplets. Although they live in this mountain farmhouse you couldn’t consider them boorish, and I think that they would be good partners for all you reverend gentlemen. If you are willing to broaden your outlook and let your hair grow, you could be head of the family and wear silks and brocades. Wouldn’t that be far better than your earthenware begging-bowl, rough clothes, straw sandals, and rain-hats?”


Output:
Sanzang sat in the place of honour as still as a child terrified by thunder or a toad soaked in a rainstorm. He seemed to be in a trance as he leant back with his eyes turned up towards the sky. Pig, however, felt an itch in his mind that was hard to scratch when he heard about all this wealth and beauty. He fidgeted on his chair as if needles were being stuck into his backside, and finally could bear it no longer.

He went up to his master, tugged at his clothes, and said, “Master, why are you paying no attention to what the lady is saying? You really ought to take some notice.” Sanzang glared at him angrily, made a furious noise, and shouted at him to go away.

“Evil beast,” he said, “We are men of religion. It’s disgraceful to allow yourself to be moved by the thought of wealth, honour or sex.”

“Poor, poor things,” said the woman with a smile. “What good can there be in being men of religion?”

“What good can there be in being of the world, Bodhisattva?” Sanzang replied.


Output:
“Please sit down, reverend sir, while I tell you about the advantages of being in the world,” she said. “There is a poem to describe them that goes:

In spring we cut out linked diamond patterns and wear new silk;

In summer we change to light gauze and admire the lotus;

In autumn comes meat and delicious rice-wine,

In winter the house is warm, and our faces are red with drink.

We have all that’s needed in the four seasons,

The treasures and delicacies of the whole year.

Brocade clothes, silken sheets and a wedding night

Are better than plodding along and worshipping Maitreya.”

“Bodhisattva,” said Sanzang, “it is, of course, very good to enjoy wealth and honour with plenty of food and clothes and a family. But what you don’t realize is that the religious life has advantages, which are described in this poem:

It is no light matter to decide to enter religion:

You have to demolish the love and gratitude you felt before.

Externals are created no longer, and your mouth is tightly shut.


Output:
Negative and positive exist within your body.

When all has been achieved, you face the golden gates;

See your nature, clarify your mind, and return home.

This is better than staying in the world to be greedy for blood and food

While your stinking flesh grows aged and decrepit.”

“You insolent monk,” the woman said in great anger. “If it weren’t for the fact that you’ve come a long, long way from the East. I’d drive you out of my house. I invite you four with all sincerity to marry us and enjoy our wealth, and you repay my kindness with insults. If you have accepted the prohibitions and made your vows, you could at least let me have one of your underlings as a son-in-law. Why are you being such a stickler for the rules?”

As she had lost her temper, Sanzang had to soothe her, so he said, “Monkey, you stay here.”

“I’ve never been able to do that sort of thing,” Monkey replied.

“Why not let Pig stay?”

“Stop teasing, elder brother,” Pig said. “We should all decide what’s the best thing to do.”


Output: “If neither of you will stay, I must ask Friar Sand to stay,” said Sanzang; but Friar Sand replied, “What a thing to say, master. I was converted by the Bodhisattva, agreed to obey the prohibitions, and waited till you came, and since taking me as your disciple you’ve taught me more. I haven’t been with you for two months yet, and I’ve had no time to win any merit at all. How could I possibly want wealth and position? I want to go to the Western Heaven even if it costs me my life, and I’m certainly not going to frustrate my hopes by doing that.” In the face of their refusals the woman turned round, went out through the door leading to the back of the house, and slammed it behind her, leaving master and disciples outside with neither food nor tea. Nobody else came out to see them.


Output:
“That’s not the way to handle things, master,” grumbled an angry Pig. “You should have been more flexible and given her some noncommittal answer, then you’d have got some food out of her. That way we’d have eaten well tonight, but would still have been able to refuse to marry them in the morning. We’re going to have a lousy night with nothing to eat if that inside door is shut and nobody comes out to us.”

“Brother Pig, you should stay here and marry one of the girls,” said Friar Sand.

“Lay off me,” Pig replied. “We must decide what’s the best thing to do.”

“Why bother?” said Monkey. “If you want to marry one of them, you’ll make our master and the woman in-laws, and you can be a husband living with his in-laws. A family as rich as this is bound to give a good dowry, as well as a feast for relations which will do us all a bit of good. So it’s in all our interests for you to return to worldly life here.”


Output:
“It sounds all right,” said Pig, “but it would mean going back to the world after leaving it, and marrying again after ending another marriage.”

“Did you have a wife before, then?” asked Friar Sand.

“So you still don’t know,” said Monkey, “that he used to be the son-in-law of Squire Gao in Gao Village in the land of Stubet. After I defeated him and the Bodhisattva converted him and made him promise to observe the prohibitions, we managed to force him to become a monk. So he left his wife and joined our master for the journey to the Buddha in the West. I think that now he’s been away from her for so long he’s remembering all that business again. When he heard this woman’s offer, it revived his old ideas. Blockhead,” he continued, addressing Pig, “marry into this family as a son-in-law. I won’t report on you provided you bow to me a few times.”


Output:
“Nonsense, Nonsense,” said Pig. “You’ve all been thinking the same thoughts, but you pick on me to make an exhibition of. It’s always said that ‘a monk among pretty women is a hungry ghost,’ and that goes for all of us. But by acting so high and mighty you’ve ruined our chances of doing well here. We haven’t cast our eyes on so much as a cup of tea, and there isn’t even anyone to light the lamps for us. We may be able to stick it out for a night, but that horse will have to carry our master again tomorrow, and if he gets nothing to eat all night he’ll collapse. You lot sit here while I take him out for a feed.” He untied the animal and dragged it out in a great hurry, at which Monkey said, “Friar Sand, you sit here with the master while I follow him and see where he pastures that horse.”

“If you want to keep an eye on him, you may do so,” Sanzang said, “but don’t play any tricks on him.”


Output:
“I understand,” said Monkey, and as he went out of the room he shook himself, turned into a red dragonfly, flew out of the main gate, and caught up with Pig.

Instead of letting the horse eat what grass there was, the blockhead chivied and dragged it round to the back door of the house, where he saw the woman and her three daughters admiring some chrysanthemums. When they saw Pig coming, the three girls rushed inside, while their mother remained standing in front of him.

“Where are you going, reverend sir?” she asked. The idiot dropped the horse’s bridle, greeted her respectfully, and said, “I’m pasturing the horse, mother.”

“That master of yours is too prim and proper,” she said. “Wouldn’t you rather marry here than go on plodding West as a travelling monk?”


Output:
“They’re under orders from the Tang Emperor,” Pig replied with a grin, “and are too scared of disobeying him to do a thing like this. When they put the pressure on me in the hall just now I was in a very awkward spot. I hope you don’t mind about my long snout and big ears.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, “as long as we can have a man about the house, though my girls might not find you very attractive.”

“Tell your girls not to be so particular about a husband,” said Pig. “That Tang Priest may be very handsome, but he’s completely useless. Although I’m as ugly as they come, I have something to say for myself.”

“What would that be?” she asked. His reply was:

“I may be not much to look at,

But I certainly get things done.

Fifteen thousand acres

I can plough without an ox.

Just by using my rake

I plant crops that come up well.

I can summon rain in a drought,

Call up a wind when there’s none.

If you find your house too small,

I can add two more stories, or three.


Output:
I can add two more stories, or three.

If the ground needs sweeping, I’ll sweep it;

If the ditches are blocked, I’ll make them run.

I can do all sorts of household jobs.

And perform miscellaneous duties in the home.”

“Very well then,” she said, “if you can manage the work about the place you’d better go and talk it over with your master. If there are no problems, then you can marry one of the girls.”

“There’s no need to talk it over with him,” Pig said. “He’s not my father or mother, and it’s entirely up to me whether I do it or not.”

“Very well then,” she said, “Wait while I tell the girls.” With that she went in and shut the door behind her. Pig still did not let the horse graze but dragged it round towards the front of the house.

Unbeknown to him, Monkey, who knew all about what had happened, flew back, changed back into his own form, and said to the Tang Priest, “Master, Pig is leading the horse back.”


Output:
“If he hadn’t led it, it might have got excited and run away,” Sanzang said, at which Monkey burst out laughing and told him all about what had taken place between Pig and the woman. Sanzang did not know whether to believe him or not. A moment later the blockhead led the horse in and tethered it.

“Have you grazed the horse?” Sanzang asked.

“I couldn’t find any grass that was good enough,” said Pig, “so I couldn’t graze it.”


Output:
“You may not have been able to graze the horse,” said Monkey, “but you managed do some horse-trading.” This jibe made the idiot realize that the cat was out of the bag, so he hung his head and did not say a word. There was a creak as a side door opened and the woman and her three daughters—Zhenzhen, Aiai and Lianlian—came in with a pair of lamps glowing red and two portable incense burners from which sweet-smelling smoke curled up as the jade ornaments at their waists tinkled. The three girls greeted the pilgrims, standing in a row in the middle of the room and bowing. They were undoubtedly beauties:

All had moth-eyebrows glistening blue,

Pale and spring-like faces.

Seductive beauties who could tumble kingdoms,

Disturbing men’s hearts with their quiet charm.

Elegant were their ornaments of golden flowers;

Their embroidered sashes floated above the worldly dust.

Their half-smile was a bursting cherry;

Their breath was perfumed as they walked with slow steps.


Output:
Their hair was covered with pearls and jade.

Trembling under countless jeweled ornaments;

Their whole bodies were fragrant,

Covered with delicate flowers of gold.

Why mention the beauty of the woman of Chu,

Or the charms of Xi Zi?

They really were like fairies from the Ninth Heaven,

Or the Lady of the Moon coming out of her palace.

While Sanzang put his hands together and bowed his head the Great Sage pretended not to notice and Friar Sand turned away. But Pig gazed at them with a fixed stare, his mind seething with lewd thoughts as his lust overwhelmed him.

“Thank you, divine angels, for coming to see us,” he said, fidgeting, “but could you ask the girls to go, please, mother?” The three girls went out through the door, leaving a pair of gauze-shielded lanterns behind them.

“Will you four reverend gentlemen please decide which of you is to marry one of the girls?” the woman said.

“We’ve already made up our minds that Mr. Pig is to be your son-in-law,” Friar Sand replied.


Output:
“Don’t pick on me, brother,” said Pig, “we should discuss this together.”

“No need to,” said Monkey. “You’ve already fixed everything up at the back door and called her ‘mother,’ so there’s nothing to discuss. Our master can represent the groom’s family, this lady is the bride’s family, I can be best man, and Friar Sand can be the matchmaker. There’s no need to bother with the usual exchange of letters, and today is a most auspicious one full of heavenly grace, so bow to the master and go in to be her son-in-law.”

“Impossible,” said Pig, “impossible. I couldn’t do a thing like that.”

“Stop trying to cover up, blockhead,” said Monkey. “You’ve already called her ‘mother’ umpteen times: there’s nothing impossible about it at all. Hurry up and fulfil your promise so that we can have some wedding wine, which will be one good thing about it.” Seizing Pig with one hand and grabbing the woman with the other he said, “As the bride’s mother, you should take your son-in-law inside.”


Output:
The idiot Pig hesitated, wanting to go in, and the woman said to the servants, “Bring table and chairs and give these three relatives of ours a meatless supper. I’m taking our son-in-law inside.” Then she told the cooks to prepare a banquet for their friends and relations the following morning. The servants did as they were told, and the other three pilgrims ate their supper, spread their bedding, and went to sleep in their places.

Pig followed his mother-in-law inside, and as he lost count of the number of rooms he went through, constantly tripping over the thresholds. “Don’t go so fast, mother,” he said, “and please guide me as I don’t know the way.”

“These are all granaries, storehouses, and milling rooms,” she said. “We haven’t reached the kitchens yet.”

“What an enormous house,” said Pig, as he went round many a corner, tripping and bumping into things, until he reached the inner apartments of the house.


Output:
“Your brother said that today was a very auspicious day,” the woman said, “which is why I’ve brought you inside. But as we’re doing things in such a rush, I haven’t had time to call in a fortune-teller or arrange a proper ceremony with the scattering of fruit. You must just bow eight times, and that will have to do.”

“A good idea, mother,” said Pig. “You sit in the seat of honour and I’ll bow to you a few times—that can be the wedding ceremony and thanking the bride’s family rolled into one, which will save trouble.”

“Very well then,” said the woman with a laugh. “You are a most capable and practical son-in-law. I’ll sit here while you bow to me.”


Output:
In the room glittering with silver candles the blockhead bowed to her, then asked which of the girls would be married to him. “That’s the problem,” his mother-in-law said. “If I give you the eldest, the second one will be upset; and if I give you the second one, I’m afraid the third one will be; and if I give you the third, the eldest will be—so I haven’t decided yet.”

“If there’s any danger of them quarrelling,” said Pig, “then give me all of them, to save the family from being troubled with arguments and squabbles.”

“What a suggestion,” his mother-in-law exclaimed. “You’re certainly not having all my daughters to yourself.”

“Don’t be silly, mother. What’s unusual about three or four wives? Even if there were several more of them, I’d take them on with a smile. When I was young I learned the art of ‘protracted warfare,’ and I can guarantee to keep every one of them happy.”


Output:
“No, no,” the woman said. “I have a handkerchief here. Tie it round your head to cover your face, and we can let Heaven decide which one you’ll marry. I’ll tell the girls to walk in front of you while you stretch your arms out. The one you catch, will be yours.” The blockhead obediently tied the handkerchief round his head, and there is a verse to prove it:

The fool, not knowing his own fate,

Was wounded by the sword of sex as he harmed himself in secret

There have always been proper wedding rites,

But today the groom blindfolded himself.

When he had tied the handkerchief on firmly, the idiot said, “Mother, please ask the girls to come out.”


Output: “Zhenzhen, Aiai, Lianlian,” she called, “come out to see which of you Heaven will marry to my new son-in-law.” He heard the tinkling of jade ornaments and smelt rare perfumes as if fairies were there, so he reached out to grab one. He groped about to his left and his right, but without success. There were so many girls running about, and he had no chance of catching one. When he stretched East he only put his arms round a pillar, and when he stretched West he felt only the wall. As he rushed from one end of the room to the other he felt so dizzy that he lost his balance and kept tripping over. He stumbled into the door when he went forward, and collided with the brick wall when he went back, bumping, crashing and falling over till his snout was swollen and his head blue with bruises. Finally he sat on the floor and said as he gasped for breath, “Mother, your daughters are so slippery I can’t catch a single one of them. Whatever shall I do?”


Output:
“They’re not slippery,” she said, taking off the handkerchief, “they’re all too shy to marry you.”

“If they won’t marry me,” Pig said, “then you marry me.”

“What a son-in-law!” she said. “He doesn’t care whether they’re young or old—he even wants his own mother-in-law. Now each of these clever girls of mine has made a brocade shirt sewn with pearls. I’ll tell whichever girl it is whose shirt you put on to marry you.”

“Great, great, great,” said Pig. “Bring out all three shirts for me to try on, and if I can get them all on, I’ll marry them all.” The woman went back inside, and brought out only one shirt, which she handed to Pig. The idiot took off his own black cloth tunic and pulled on the shirt, but before he could tie the belt at the waist he fell to the ground with a thump and found himself tightly bound with many ropes. He was in great pain, and the women had all disappeared.


Output:
When Sanzang, Monkey, and Friar Sand woke up, the East was already lightening, and as they opened their eyes and looked around them they saw none of the lofty buildings that had been there. There were no carved and painted beams or rafters either: they had all been sleeping in a grove of pine and cypress. Sanzang called for Monkey in terror, and Friar Sand said, “Elder brother, we’re done for, done for—they were demons.”

“What do you mean?” asked Monkey, who understood what had happened, with a trace of a smile. “Look where we’ve been sleeping,” said Sanzang. “We’re very comfortable here under the pine trees,” said Monkey, “but I wonder where that idiot is being punished.”

“Who’s being punished?” asked Sanzang.


Output:
“Who’s being punished?” asked Sanzang.

“The woman and the girls last night were some Bodhisattvas or other appearing to us in disguise,” replied Monkey with a grin, “and I suppose they went away in the middle of the night. I’m afraid Pig is being punished.” On hearing this, Sanzang put his hands together and worshipped, and then they saw a piece of paper hanging from a cypress tree and fluttering in the breeze. Friar Sand hurried over to fetch it and show it to their master, who saw that there were eight lines of verse on it:

“The Old Woman of Mount Li had no yearning for the world,

But the Bodhisattva Guanyin persuaded her to come.

Samantabhadra and Manjusri were both present

Disguised as pretty girls among the trees.

The holy monk were too virtuous to return to lay life,

But the unreligious Pig was worse than worldly.

From now on he must calm his mind and reform—

If he misbehaves again, the journey will be hard.”


Output:
As Sanzang, Monkey, and Friar Sand read out these lines they heard loud shouts from the depths of the wood: “Master, they’re tied me up and left me to die. I’ll never do it again if you save me.”

“Is that Pig shouting, Friar Sand?” asked Sanzang, and Friar Sand said, “Yes.”

“Although that blockhead is obstinately stupid in mind and nature,” said Sanzang, “he is an honest fellow. Besides, he is very strong and can carry the luggage—and we should also remember that the Bodhisattva saved him and told him to come with us. I don’t think he’ll have the nerve to do it again.” Friar Sand then rolled up the bedding and arranged the luggage, while Monkey untied the horse and led it along as he guided the Tang Priest into the wood to investigate. Indeed:

In the pursuit of righteousness you must be careful,

And sweep away desires in your return to the truth.

If you don’t know whether the blockhead survived or not, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Twenty-Four


Output:
Chapter Twenty-Four

On the Mountain of Infinite Longevity a Great Immortal Entertains an Old Friend

In the Wuzhuang Temple Monkey Steals Manfruit

The three of them went into the wood and saw the idiot tied up under a tree, yelling and howling in unbearable pain. Monkey went over to him and said with a laugh, “What a son-in-law! So late, and you still haven’t got up to thank your mother-in-law or come to tell the good news to the master. Why are you still playing around here? Where’s your mother-in-law? Where’s your wife? You make a fine, strapped-up, well-beaten son-in-law!”

The blockhead, burning with humiliation at being thus mocked, gritted his teeth to stop himself howling in his agony. Friar Sand was overcome with pity when he saw him, and putting down the luggage he went over and untied him. The idiot kowtowed to him in gratitude. He was suffering terrible remorse. There is a poem to the tune The Moon in the West River to prove it:

Sex is a sword that wounds the body;


Output:
Sex is a sword that wounds the body;

Whoever lusts for it will suffer.

A pretty girl of sixteen

Is far more dangerous than a yaksha demon.

There is only one Origin,

And there are no extra profits to staff in the sack.

Better store all your capital away,

Guard it well, and don’t squander it.

Pig used a pinch of earth to represent burning incense and bowed in worship to Heaven.

“Did you recognize the Bodhisattva?” Monkey asked.

“I was lying here in a faint and my eyes were seeing stars, so I couldn’t tell who it was.” Monkey handed him the piece of paper, and when he saw the divine message, Pig was more ashamed than ever.

“You’re very lucky,” said Friar Sand with a laugh, “you’ve got four Bodhisattvas as your relations now.”

“Please don’t talk about it,” said Pig. “I really don’t deserve to be human. I’ll never misbehave again in future, and I even if the effort breaks my bones, I’ll rub my shoulder and carry our master’s luggage to the West.”

“That’s more like it,” said Sanzang.


Output:
“That’s more like it,” said Sanzang.

Monkey then led his master along the main road. After they had been going for a long time, walking and resting, they saw a high mountain blocking their way. “Disciples,” said Sanzang as he reined in the horse and stopped giving it the whip, “we must be very careful on that mountain. I’m afraid there may be fiends and demons on it who will attack us.”

“With us three followers,” said Monkey, “you needn’t fear demons.” Sanzang, his worries ended, pressed forward. The mountain was certainly a fine one:

The mountain was very high

And craggy was its majesty.

Its roots joined the Kunlun range,

Its summit touched the Milky Way.

White crane came to perch in its locust and cypress trees,

Dark apes hung upside-down from its creepers.

When the sun shone bright on its forests,

It was enveloped in red haze;

When winds sprang from dark valleys,

Coloured clouds scudded across the sky.

Hidden birds called in the green bamboo,

Pheasants fought among the wild flowers.


Output:
Pheasants fought among the wild flowers.

Thousand-year peaks,

Five-blessing peaks,

Lotus peaks,

Majestically reflecting a delicate light;

Ten thousand year rocks,

Tiger-tooth rocks,

Three Heavens rocks,

Wreathed in subtle and auspicious vapours.

Luxuriant grass in front of the cliff,

The scent of plum blossom on the ridge.

Dense grew the jungle of thorns,

Pure and pale were the orchids.

Deep in the woods the birds gathered round the phoenix;

In an ancient cave a unicorn was chief of the animals.

A delightful stream in a gully

Twisted and turned as it wandered around;

Endless peaks

Coiled about in layer upon layer.

Then there were the green locust trees,

Mottled bamboo,

And bluish pines,

That had been competing in splendour for a thousand years.

White plum blossom,

Red peach,

And emerald willows

Were brilliant as they vied in beauty during spring.

Dragons called and tigers roared,

Cranes danced and apes howled.

Deer emerged from the flowers,

Pheasants sang to the sun.


Output:
Pheasants sang to the sun.

This was a land of blessing, an Immortals’ mountain,

Just like Penglai or Langyuan.

Flowers opened and withered on the mountain top,

Clouds came and went above the peaks along the ridge.

“Disciples,” said Sanzang with delight as he sat on his horse, “I’ve crossed many mountains on my journey West, and they were all steep and rocky, but none of them could be compared to the extraordinarily beautiful scenery here. If this isn’t far from the Thunder Monastery, we had better put ourselves in a solemn and reverent mood to meet the Buddha.”

“It’s early days yet,” said Monkey with a laugh. “That’s not an easy place to get to.”

“How far are we from Thunder Monastery, elder brother?” asked Friar Sand.

“Thirty-six thousand miles,” Monkey replied, “and we haven’t covered a tenth of it.”

“How many years will it take us to get there?” Pig asked.


Output:
“You two younger brothers of mine could manage it in ten days or so, and I could go there fifty times over in a single day and still be back before sunset. But for our master it doesn’t bear thinking about.”

“Tell me, Monkey! how long will it take?” asked Sanzang.

“If you went from childhood to old age,” said Monkey, “and from old age back to childhood again, and you did it a thousand times over, you’d still find it hard to get there. But if you see your true nature, are determined to be sincere, and always remember to turn your head back to enlightenment, then you will have reached

Vulture Peak.”

“Even if this isn’t the Thunder Monastery,” said Friar Sand, “good people must live amid such fine scenery as this.”

“Quite right,” said Monkey, “there couldn’t be any evil creatures here. This must be the home of holy monks or Immortals. Let’s look around here and take our time over it.”


Output: This mountain was called the Mountain of Infinite Longevity, and there was a Taoist temple on it called the Wuzhuang Temple. In this temple lived an Immortal whose Taoist name was Zhen Yuan Zi. He was also known as Conjoint Lord of the Age. The temple had a rare treasure, a miraculous tree that had been formed when primeval chaos was first being divided, before the separation of Heaven and Earth. In the four great continents of the world, only the Western Continent of Cattle-gift’s Wuzhuang Temple had this treasure that was known as “Grass-returning Cinnabar” or “manfruit.” It took three thousand years to blossom, three thousand years to form the fruit, and another three thousand years for the fruit to ripen, so that very nearly ten thousand years had to pass before the fruit could be eaten. Only thirty fruit were formed each ten thousand years, and they were shaped just like a newborn baby, complete with limbs and sense organs. Anyone whose destiny permitted him to smell one would live for three hundred and


Output: him to smell one would live for three hundred and sixty years, and if you ate one you would live for forty-seven thousand years.


Output: That day the Great Immortal Zhen Yuan had received an invitation from the Original Celestial Jade Pure One inviting him to the Miluo Palace in the Heaven of Supreme Purity to hear a lecture on the Product of Undifferentiated Unity. The Immortals who had studied under this great Immortal were too numerous to count, and he now had forty-eight disciples who had all attained to the full truth of the Way. That day, the Great Immortal took forty-six of them with him to hear the lecture in the upper world, leaving the two youngest, Pure Wind and Bright Moon, to look after the temple. Pure Wind was 1,320 years old, and Bright Moon had just turned 1,200.


Output:
The Great Immortal gave his instructions to the two boys: “As I must obey the summons of the Original Celestial Jade Pure One and go to the Miluo Palace to hear a lecture, you two will have to look after the temple carefully. An old friend of mine will be coming this way before long, and you must entertain him very well indeed. You can pick two manfruits for him as a token of our old friendship.”

“Who is this old friend of yours, master?” the boys asked. “Please tell us who he is so that we can entertain him properly.”

“He is a priest sent by the Tang Emperor in the East,” the Great Immortal replied, “and he is known as Sanzang. He is the monk going to worship the Buddha and ask for the scriptures in the Western Heaven.”

“Confucius said, ‘Don’t have anything to do with people of a different way,’” replied the boys with smiles. “Ours is the esoteric sect of the Great Monad, so why ever are you friends with that Buddhist monk?”


Output:
“You are not aware,” the Great Immortal replied, “that he is a reincarnation of the Golden Cicada, the second disciple of the Tathagata Buddha, that ancient sage of the West. I made his acquaintance at an Ullambana assembly where he gave me tea with his own hands. As this disciple of the Buddha paid me such an honour, I regard him as an old friend.”

When the two Immortal boys heard this, they accepted their master’s orders. Just as he was on the point of setting out, the Great Immortal gave them some more instructions: “There are a limited number of those manfruits. You must only give two, and not one more.”

“When the garden was opened we all shared two,” said the boys, “and there are twenty-eight now left on the tree. We won’t use more than two.”

“Although the Tang Priest is an old friend of mine,” said the Great Immortal, “you must be on your guard against his ruffian followers, and you mustn’t let them know about the manfruit.” The Great Immortal then flew up to Heaven with the rest of his disciples.


Output:
The Tang Priest and his three followers, meanwhile, were enjoying themselves strolling on the mountain when they noticed some tall buildings rising above a bamboo grove. “What do you think that is?” Sanzang asked Monkey, who replied, “It’s either a Taoist temple or a Buddhist one. Let’s go over and find out.” It did not take them long to reach the gate, and they saw

A cool pine-covered slope,

A tranquil path through the bamboo.

White cranes brought floating clouds,

Monkeys and apes offered fruit.

Before the gate was a wide pool, and the shadows of the trees were long;

In the cracks of the rocks grew moss.

Many a purple hall was massed together;

A red aura enveloped the lofty towers.

It certainly was a blessed place,

A cloud cave on Penglai.

In its pure emptiness little happened;

Its stillness gave birth to thoughts of the Way.

Green birds often brought letters from the Queen Mother;

Purple pheasants carried the classics of Lord Lao Zi.

There was a majestic air of the Way and its Power—


Output:
It was indeed a divine Immortal’s home.

Sanzang dismounted and saw that there was a stone tablet outside the gate on which was inscribed in large letters:

BLESSED LAND OF THE MOUNTAIN OF INFINITE LONGEVITY

CAVE HEAVEN OF THE WUZHUANG TEMPLE

“You were right,” said Sanzang, “it is a Taoist temple.”

“Good people must live in this temple,” said Friar Sand, “set as it is in such fresh, light scenery. Let’s go in and have a look round. When we go back to the East at the end of our journey, this will be one of the finest sights we’ll have seen.”

“Well spoken,” said Monkey, and they all went in. On the next gate was pasted the couplet:

“Residence of Divine Immortals Who Never Grow Old;

Home of Taoists as Ancient as Heaven.”

“This Taoist tries to intimidate people by talking big,” said Monkey with a laugh. “When I wrecked the Heavenly Palace five hundred years ago I never saw anything like that over the gate of the Supreme Lord Lao Zi.”


Output:
“Never mind him,” said Pig. “Let’s go in. This Taoist may well be quite a decent bloke.”

As they went through the second gate they saw two boys come scurrying out. This is what they looked like:

Pure bones, lively spirits, pretty faces,

And hair tied in childish tufts.

Their Taoist robes naturally wreathed in mist,

The sleeves of their feather clothes were floating in the wind.

Their jade belts were tied with dragon-head knots,

Their grass sandals lightly fastened with silk.

In their elegance they were unlike common mortals—

The Taoist boys Pure Wind and Bright Moon.


Output:
The Taoist boys Pure Wind and Bright Moon.

The two boys bowed and came out to greet them. “We are sorry we did not welcome you properly, venerable master,” they said. “Please sit down.” Sanzang was delighted, and he accompanied the two boys up to the main hall of the temple, which faced South. There was a patterned lattice window that let through the light on top of the door that the boys pushed open. They asked the Tang Priest to come in, and he saw two huge words executed in many colours hanging on the wall—Heaven and Earth. There was an incense table of red carved lacquer on which stood a pair of golden censers and a supply of incense.


Output:
Sanzang went over to the table and put a pinch of incense in the censers with his left hand while performing triple reverences. Then he turned round to the boys and said, “This temple is a home of Immortals in the Western Continent, so why don’t you worship the Three Pure Ones, the Four Emperors, and all the ministers of Heaven? Why do you burn incense to the two words ‘Heaven’ and ‘Earth?’”

“To be frank with you, venerable teacher,” the boys replied with smiles, “it’s quite right to worship the top word, ‘Heaven,’ but the bottom one, ‘Earth,’ gets no incense from us. Our teacher only put them up to ingratiate himself.”

“How does he ingratiate himself?” Sanzang asked.

“The Three Pure Ones and the Four Emperors are our teacher’s friends,” the boys replied, “the Nine Bright Shiners are his juniors, and the Constellations are his underlings.”

When Monkey heard this he collapsed with laughter, and Pig asked him, “What are you laughing at?”


Output:
“They say that I get up to no good, but these Taoist boys really tell whoppers.”

“Where is your teacher?” Sanzang asked them.

“He had an invitation from the Original Celestial Jade Pure One and has gone to the Palace in the Heaven of Supreme Purity to hear a lecture on the Product of Undifferentiated Unity, so he’s not at home.”

At this Monkey could not help roaring, “Stinking Taoist boys, you don’t know who you’re talking to. You play your dirty tricks in front of our faces and pretend to be oh-so-innocent. What Heavenly Immortal of the Great Monad lives in the Miluo Palace? Who invited your cow’s hoof of a master to a lecture?”


Output: Sanzang was worried that now he had lost his temper the boys would answer back and spark off a disastrous fight, so he said, “Don’t quarrel with them, Wukong. We’ll be going in a minute, so we obviously need have nothing to do with them. Besides, as the saying goes, ‘egrets don’t eat egret flesh’. Their master isn’t here anyway, so there would be no point in wrecking the place. Go and graze the horse outside the gate. Friar Sand, you look after the luggage, and tell Pig to take some rice from our bundles and use their kitchen to make our meal. When we go we shall give them a few coppers for the firewood. All do as I’ve told you and leave me here to rest. When we have eaten we shall be on our way again.” The three of them went off to do their jobs.


Output:
Bright Moon and Pure Wind were meanwhile quietly praising Sanzang to each other: “What a splendid monk. He is indeed the beloved sage of the West in mortal form, and his true nature is not at all befuddled. The master told us to entertain him and give him some manfruit as a token of their old friendship, and he also warned us to be on our guard against those hooligans of his. They have murderous-looking faces and coarse natures. Thank goodness he sent them away, because if they were still with him, we wouldn’t be able to give him the manfruit.”

“We don’t yet know whether this monk is our master’s old friend or not,” said Pure Wind. “We’d better ask him to make sure.” The two of them then went over to Sanzang and said, “May we ask you, venerable master, whether you are the Sanzang of the Great Tang who is going to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures?”

“Yes, I am,” said Sanzang, returning their bows. “How did you know who I was?”


Output:
“Our master told us before he went,” they replied, “to go out to meet you long before you got here, but as you came faster than we expected we failed to do so. Please sit down, teacher, while we fetch you some tea.”

“I am honoured,” said Sanzang. Bright Moon hurried out and came back with a cup of fragrant tea for him.

When Sanzang had drunk the tea, Pure Wind said to Bright Moon, “We must do as our teacher told us and fetch the fruit.”

The two boys left Sanzang and went to their room, where one of them picked up a golden rod and the other a red dish, on which he put many a silk handkerchief as cushioning. They went into the manfruit orchard, where Pure Wind climbed the tree and tapped the fruit with the golden rod while Bright Moon waited below to catch them in the dish.


Output:
They only took a few moments to knock down and catch a couple, which they took to the front hall to offer to Sanzang with the words, “This temple of ours is on a remote and desolate mountain, master Sanzang, and there is no local delicacy we can offer you except these two pieces of fruit. We hope they will quench your thirst.”

At the sight of the manfruit the monk recoiled some three feet, shaking with horror. “Goodness me!” he exclaimed. “How could you be so reduced to starvation in this year of plenty as to eat human flesh? And how could I possibly quench my thirst with a newborn baby?”

“This monk has developed eyes of flesh and a mortal body in the battlefield of mouths and tongues and the sea of disputation,” thought Pure Wind, “and he can’t recognize the treasures of this home of Immortals.”

“Venerable master,” said Bright Moon, “this is what is called ‘manfruit,’ and there is no reason why you should not eat one.”


Output:
“Nonsense, nonsense,” said Sanzang. “They were conceived by their fathers and mothers and had to go through no end of suffering before they were born. How can you treat them as fruit when they haven’t been alive for three days yet?”

“They really and truly grew on a tree,” said Pure Wind.

“Stuff and rubbish,” Sanzang replied. “Babies don’t grow on trees. Take them away, you inhuman beasts.”

As he refused absolutely to eat them, the two boys had to take the dish away and go back to their room. This fruit was rather difficult to handle, and did not keep for long without becoming hard and inedible, so the boys sat on their beds and ate one each.


Output:
Oh dear! What a thing to happen! There was only a wall separating their room from the kitchen, where their whispering could be clearly heard. Pig was in there cooking the rice when he heard them talk as they fetched the golden rod and the red dish. Later he heard them saying that the Tang Priest had not recognized the manfruit, which was why they took them back to their room to eat.

“I’d love to try one, but I don’t know how,” thought Pig, unable to prevent his mouth from watering. Too stupid to do anything about it himself, he had to wait until he could talk it over with Brother Monkey. He had now lost all interest in stoking the stove as he stood in front of it, constantly poking his head outside the kitchen to look for Monkey. Before long Monkey appeared leading the horse, which he tethered to a locust tree. As he came round to the back, the blockhead waved frantically to him and said, “Come here, come here.”


Output:
Monkey turned round, came to the kitchen door, and said, “What are you yelling for, idiot? Not enough food for you? Let the old monk eat his fill, then we two can go to the next big house that lies ahead and beg for some more.”

“Come in,” said Pig, “it’s not that. Do you know that there’s a treasure in this temple?”

“What treasure?” Monkey asked.

“I can’t describe it because you’ve never seen it,” said Pig, “and if I gave it to you, you wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Don’t try to make a fool of me, idiot,” said Monkey. “When I studied the Way of Immortality five hundred years ago I traveled on my cloud to the comers of the ocean and the edge of the sky. I’ve seen everything.”

“Have you seen manfruit then?” Pig asked.

“No, I haven’t,” said Monkey with astonishment. “But I’ve heard that manfruit is Grass-returning Cinnabar, and that anyone who eats it lives to a great old age. Where can we get some?”


Output:
“Here,” said Pig. “Those boys gave two to our master, but that old monk didn’t know what they were and thought they were newborn babies. He wouldn’t eat them. Those boys are disgraceful—instead of giving them to us as they should have done they sneaked off into their room and had one each, gobble, gobble, gobble—I was drooling. I wish I knew how I could try one. Surely you’ve got some dodge for getting into the orchard and pinching a few for us to taste. You have, haven’t you?”

“Easy,” said Monkey. “I’ll go in and pick some.”

As he rushed out Pig grabbed him and said, “I heard them saying in their room that they needed a golden rod to knock them down with. You must do this very carefully—nobody must know about it.”

“I know, I know,” replied Monkey.


Output:
“I know, I know,” replied Monkey.

The Great Sage made himself invisible and slipped into the boys’ room, only to find that after eating the fruit they had gone to the front hall, where they were talking to Sanzang. Monkey looked all around the room for the golden rod until he saw a two-foot length of gold hanging from the window lattice. It was about as thick as a finger. At the bottom was a lump like a bulb of garlic, and at the top was a hole through which was fastened a green silk tassel. “So this must be what they call the golden rod,” he thought as he took it down. He left the room and pushed open a pair of gates at the back. Goodness! He saw a garden

With red, jeweled balconies

And a twisting artificial hill.

Rare flowers try to outshine the sun,

The bamboo attempts to be bluer than the sky.

Outside the Floating Cup Pavilion

A curve of willows hangs like mist;

Before the Platform to Admire the Moon

Clumps of lofty pines make splashes of indigo.

Bright, bright red,

The pomegranate thicket;


Output:
Bright, bright red,

The pomegranate thicket;

Deep, deep green,

The cushions of grass.

Richly blue

Were the jade-coloured orchids;

Rushing and powerful

The water in the stream.

Crimson cassia blazed beside golden wells and wutong trees.

Brocade-rich locust trees flanked red balconies and steps.

There was peach blossom in pink and white,

Yellow and fragrant chrysanthemums that have seen nine autumns.

Trellises of raspberries

Flourish by the peony pavilion;

Banks of hibiscus

Lead to beds of tree-peonies.

There is no end of noble bamboos that have held out against frost.

Or lordly pines that defy the snows.

Then there are nests of cranes and houses for deer,

Square ponds and round pools,

Spring water like fragments of jade,

Golden heaps of flowers.

The North wind bursts the white plum blossom open.

When spring comes, it touches the crab-apple with red.

It can be rightly called the most splendid view on Earth,

The finest garden in the West.


Output:
The finest garden in the West.

Before Monkey had time to take all of this in he saw another gate. When he pushed it open he saw

Vegetables for each of the four seasons—

Spinach, celery, beetroot, ginger, and kelp,

Bamboo shoots, sweet potato, melons, oblong gourd and wild rice stem,

Onions, garlic, coriander, scallion and shallots,

Lettuce, artemisia, and bitter alisma,

Gourds and aubergines that must be planted,

Rutabaga, turnips, docks,

Red amaranth, green cabbage, and purple mustard-plant.


Output: “So they’re Taoists who grow their own food,” thought Monkey, smiling to himself. When he had crossed the vegetable garden he saw yet another gate, and when he opened it there was a huge tree in front of him with fragrant branches and shade-giving green leaves shaped rather like those of plantains. The tree was about a thousand feet high, and its trunk was some seventy or eighty feet round. Monkey leant against it and looked up, and on a branch that was pointing South he saw a manfruit, which really did look just like a newborn child. The stem came from its bottom, and as it hung from the branch its hands and feet waved wildly around and it shook its head. Monkey was thoroughly delighted, and he thought in admiration, “What a splendid thing—a real rarity, a real rarity.” And with that thought he went shooting up the tree.


Output:
Now there is nothing that monkeys are better at than climbing trees to steal fruit, and one blow from the golden rod sent the manfruit tumbling down. He jumped down to fetch it, but it was nowhere to be seen. He searched the grass all around, but could find not a trace of it. “That’s odd,” he thought, “very odd indeed. It must be able to use its feet—but even then it won’t be able to get past the wall. No, I’ve got it. The local deity of this garden has hidden it away to stop me stealing it.”

He made some finger magic and uttered the sacred sound “Om ,” which forced the garden deity to come forward, bow and say, “You summoned me, Great Sage. What are your orders?”


Output:
“Surely you know,” Monkey said, “that I am the most famous criminal on earth. When I stole the sacred peaches, the imperial wine, and the elixir of immortality some years ago, nobody dared to try and take a cut. How comes it that when I take some fruit today you pinch my very first one? This fruit grows on a tree, and the birds of the air must have their share of it, so what harm will be done if I eat one? Why did you snatch it the moment it fell down?”

“Great Sage,” the deity replied, “don’t be angry with me. These treasures belong to the Immortals of the Earth, and I am a ghost Immortal, so I would never dare take one. I’ve never even had the good fortune to smell one.”

“If you didn’t take it, why did it disappear the moment I knocked it down from the tree?” Monkey asked.

“You may know that these treasures give eternal life, Great Sage,” the deity replied, “but you don’t know about their origin.”

“Where do they come from, then?” Monkey asked.


Output:
“Where do they come from, then?” Monkey asked.

“These treasures,” the deity replied, “take three thousand years to blossom, another three thousand to form, and three thousand more to ripen. In almost ten thousand years only thirty grow. Anyone lucky enough to smell one will live for three hundred and sixty years, and if you eat one you will live to be forty-seven thousand. These fruit fear only the Five Elements.”

“What do you mean, ‘fear only the Five Elements?’” Monkey asked.


Output: “If they meet metal,” the deity said, “they fall; if they meet wood they rot; if they meet water they dissolve; if they meet fire they are burnt; and if they meet earth they go into it. If you tap them you have to use a golden rod, otherwise they won’t drop; and when you knock them down you must catch them in a bowl padded with silk handkerchiefs. If they come in contact with wooden utensils they rot, and even if you eat one it won’t make you live any longer. When you eat them you must do so off porcelain, and they should be cooked in clear water. If they come in contact with fire they become charred and useless, and they go into any earth they touch. When you knocked one to the ground just now it went straight in, and as the earth here will now live for forty-seven thousand years you wouldn’t be able to make any impression on it even with a steel drill: it’s much harder than wrought iron. But if a man eats one he wins long life. Try hitting the ground if you don’t believe me.” Monkey raised his gold-ringed


Output: don’t believe me.” Monkey raised his gold-ringed cudgel and brought it down on the ground. There was a loud noise as the cudgel sprang back. The ground was unmarked.


Output:
“So you’re right,” said Monkey, “you’re right. This cudgel of mine can smash rocks to powder and even leave its mark on wrought iron, but this time it did no damage at all. This means that I was wrong to blame you. You may go back now.” At this the local deity went back to his shrine.

The Great Sage now had a plan. He climbed the tree and then held the rod in one hand while he undid the lapel of his cloth tunic and made it into a kind of pouch. He pushed the leaves and branches aside and knocked down three manfruits, which he caught in his tunic. He jumped out of the tree and went straight to the kitchen, where a smiling Pig asked him if he had got any. “This is the stuff, isn’t it?” said Monkey. “I was able to get some. We mustn’t leave Friar Sand in the dark, so give him a shout.”

“Come here, Friar Sand,” Pig called, waving his hand. Friar Sand put the luggage down, hurried into the kitchen, and asked, “Why did you call me?”


Output:
“Do you know what these are?” Monkey asked, opening his tunic. “Manfruits,” said Friar Sand as soon as he saw them. “Good,” said Monkey, “you know what they are. Where have you eaten them?”

“I’ve never eaten them,” Friar Sand replied, “but when I was the Curtain-lifting General in the old days I used to escort the imperial carriage to the Peach Banquets, and I saw some that Immortals from over the seas brought as birthday presents for the Queen Mother. I’ve certainly seen them, but I’ve never tasted one. Please give me a bit to try.”

“No need to ask,” said Monkey. “We’re having one each.”

So each of them had one manfruit to eat. Pig had both an enormous appetite and an enormous mouth, and had, moreover, been suffering pangs of hunger ever since hearing the Taoist boys eating. So the moment he saw the fruit he grabbed one, opened his mouth, and gulped it down whole; then he put on an innocent expression and shamelessly asked the other two what they were eating. “Manfruit,” Friar Sand replied.


Output:
“What does it taste like?” Pig asked.

“Ignore him, Friar Sand,” said Monkey. “He’s already eaten his, and he’s no business to ask you.”

“Brother,” said Pig, “I ate mine too fast. I didn’t nibble it delicately and taste the flavour like you two. I don’t even know if it had a stone or not as I gulped it straight down. You should finish what you’ve started: you’ve whetted my appetite, so you ought to get me another to eat slowly.”

“You’re never satisfied,” Monkey replied. “These things aren’t like rice or flour—you can’t go stuffing yourself full of them. Only thirty grow in every ten thousand years, so we can think ourselves very lucky indeed to have a whole one each. Come off it, Pig, you’ve had enough.” He got up, slipped into the Taoist boys’ room with the golden rod, and put it back without letting himself be seen through the window. He paid no more attention to Pig, who went on grumbling.


Output:
Before long the Taoist boys were back in their room, and they heard Pig moaning, “I didn’t enjoy my manfruit; I wish I could have another.” Pure Wind’s suspicion were aroused, and he said to Bright Moon, “Did you hear that long-snouted monk saying he wished he could have another manfruit? Our master told us when he went that we were to be careful of those gangsters and not let them steal our treasures.”

“This is terrible, terrible,” said Bright Moon. “What’s the golden rod doing on the floor? We’d better go into the garden and take a look around.” The two of them hurried out and found the garden gates open.

“We shut this gate,” said Pure Wind, “so why is it open?” They rushed round the flower garden, found the vegetable garden gate open too, and tore into the manfruit garden. They leant on the tree and looked up into it to count the fruit, but however often they added the number up, it always came to twenty-two.


Output:
“Can you do arithmetic?” Bright Moon asked, and Pure Wind replied, “Yes. Tell me the figures.”

“There were originally thirty manfruits,” said Bright Moon. “When our master opened the garden two were divided up and eaten, which left twenty-eight. Just now we knocked two down to give the Tang Priest, which left twenty-six. But there are only twenty-two now, which means that we’re four short. It goes without saying that those bad men must have stolen them. Let’s go and tell that Tang Priest what we think of him.”

The two of them went from the garden to the front hall, where they pointed at Sanzang and poured the most filthy and stinking abuse on him, calling him “baldy” this and “baldy” that. It was more than Sanzang could stand, so he said, “What are you making all this fuss about, Immortal boys? Please stop. I wouldn’t mind you being a bit offhand with me, but you can’t talk in this outrageous way.”


Output:
“Are you deaf?” Pure Wind asked. “We’re not talking a foreign language, and you can understand us perfectly well. You’ve stolen our manfruit, and you’ve no right to forbid us to mention it.”

“What does manfruit look like?” Sanzang asked.

“It’s what we offered you just now and you said looked like babies.”

“Amitabha Buddha!” Sanzang exclaimed. “I shook with terror at the very sight of them—I couldn’t possibly steal one. Even if I were being racked by the most terrible greed, I could never commit the crime of eating one of those. What do you mean by making so unjust an accusation?”

“Although you didn’t eat any,” said Pure Wind, “those underlings of yours stole and ate some.”

“Even if they did, you shouldn’t shout like that. Wait till I’ve questioned them. If they stole some, I’ll see that they make it up to you.”

“Make it up?” said Bright Moon. “They are things that money can’t buy.”