Output:
On hearing him say that Pig and Friar Sand were suitable people too, Monkey was very hurt. “That’s a terrible thing to hear, master,” he said. “When you left Chang’an, Liu Boqin helped you on your way, and when you reached the Double Boundary Mountain you saved me and I took you as my master. I’ve gone into ancient caves and deep forests capturing monsters and demons. I won Pig and Friar Sand over, and I’ve had a very hard time of it. But today you’ve turned stupid and you’re sending me back. ‘When the birds have all been shot the bow is put away, and when the rabbits are all killed the hounds are stewed.’ Oh well! If only you hadn’t got that Band-tightening Spell.”

“I won’t recite it again,” said Sanzang.


Output:
“I won’t recite it again,” said Sanzang.

“You shouldn’t say that,” replied Monkey. “If you’re ever beset by evil monsters from whom you can’t escape, and if Pig and Friar Sand can’t save you, then think of me. If it’s unbearable, say the spell. My head will ache even if I’m many tens of thousands of miles away. But if I do come back to you, never say it again.”

The Tang Priest grew angrier and angrier as Monkey talked on, and tumbling off his horse he told Friar Sand to take paper and brush from the pack. Then he fetched some water from a stream, rubbed the inkstick on a stone, wrote out a letter of dismissal, and handed it to Monkey.

“Here it is in writing,” he said. “I don’t want you as my disciple a moment longer. If I ever see you again may I fall into the Avichi Hell.”


Output:
Monkey quickly took the document and said, “There’s no need to swear an oath, master. I’m off.” He folded the paper up and put it in his sleeve, then tried once more to mollify Sanzang. “Master,” he said, “I’ve spent some time with you, and I’ve also been taught by the Bodhisattva. Now I’m being fired in the middle of the journey, when I’ve achieved nothing. Please sit down and accept my homage, then I won’t feel so bad about going.”

The Tang Priest turned away and would not look at him, muttering, “I am a good monk, and I won’t accept the respects of bad people like you.” Seeing that Sanzang was refusing to face him, the Great Sage used magic to give himself extra bodies. He blew a magic breath on three hairs plucked from the back of his head and shouted, “Change!” They turned into three more Monkeys, making a total of four with the real one, and surrounding the master on all four sides they kowtowed to him. Unable to avoid them by dodging to left or right, Sanzang had to accept their respects.


Output:
The Great Sage jumped up, shook himself, put the hairs back, and gave Friar Sand these instructions: “You are a good man, my brother, so mind you stop Pig from talking nonsense and be very careful on the journey. If at any time evil spirits capture our master, you tell them that I’m his senior disciple. The hairy devils of the West have heard of my powers and won’t dare to harm him.”

“I am a good monk,” said the Tang Priest, “and I’d never mention the name of a person as bad as you. Go back.” As his master refused over and over again to change his mind Monkey had nothing for it but to go. Look at him:

Holding back his tears he bowed good-bye to his master,

Then sadly but with care he gave instructions to Friar Sand.

His head pushed the hillside grass apart,

His feet kicked the creepers up in the air.

Heaven and earth spun round like a wheel;

At flying over mountains and seas none could beat him.

Within an instant no sign of him could be seen;

He retraced his whole journey in a flash.


Output:
He retraced his whole journey in a flash.

Holding back his anger, Monkey left his master and went straight back to the Water Curtain Cave on the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit on his somersault cloud. He was feeling lonely and miserable when he heard the sound of water. When he looked around from where he was in midair, he realized that it was the waves of the Eastern Sea. The sight of it reminded him of the Tang Priest, and he could not stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He stopped his cloud and stayed there a long time before going. If you don’t know what happened when he went, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

On the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit the Devils Rise

Sanzang Meets a Monster in the Black Pine Forest

The Great Sage was gazing at the Eastern Ocean, sighing sadly at being driven away by the Tang Priest. “I haven’t been this way for five hundred years,” he said. As he looked at the sea,

Vast were the misty waters,

Boundless the mighty waves.


Output:
Boundless the mighty waves.

The vast and misty waters stretched to the Milky Way;

The boundless and mighty waves were linked to the earth’s arteries.

The tides came surging,

The waters swirled around.

The surging tides

Roared like the thunder in spring;

The swirling waters

Howled like a summer hurricane.

The blessed ancients riding on dragons

Surely must have frowned as they came and went;

Immortal youths flying on cranes

Certainly felt anxious as they passed above.

There were no villages near the coast,

And scarcely a fishing boat beside the sea.

The waves’ crests were like immemorial snows;

The wind made autumn in July.

Wild beasts roamed at will,

Shore birds bobbed in the waves.

There was no fisherman in sight,

And the only sound was the screaming of the gulls.

Though the fish were happy at the bottom of the sea,

Anxiety gripped the wild geese overhead.


Output:
Anxiety gripped the wild geese overhead.

With a spring Monkey leapt over the Eastern Ocean and was soon back at the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit. As he brought his cloud down and gazed around him, he saw that all the vegetation on the mountain had gone and the mists had disappeared completely. The peaks had collapsed and the woods were shriveled and dead. Do you know why? It was because when Monkey was taken to the upper world after wrecking the Heavenly Palace, the god Erlang and the Seven Brothers of Meishan had burnt it all down. This made the Great Sage even more miserable than ever. There is a poem in the ancient style about the ruined landscape of the mountain:

I came back to the immortal mountain in tears;

On seeing it, my sorrow is doubled.

I used to think that it was safe from harm,

But now I know that it has been destroyed.

If only Erlang had not defeated me;

Curse you for bullying me like that.

I shall dig up the graves of your ancestors,

And not stop at destroying their tombs.


Output:
And not stop at destroying their tombs.

Gone, gone, the mists that filled the sky;

Scattered the winds and clouds that covered the earth.

On the Eastern ridge the tiger’s roar is silent.

The ape’s howl no more on the Western mountain.

No sign of hare or fox in the Northern valley;

No shadow of a deer in the Southern ravine.

The blue rock was burnt to a thousand cinders,

The jade-green sands are now just mud.

The lofty pines outside the cave all lean askew;

Few are the cypresses before the cliff.

Cedar, fir, locust, chestnut, juniper, and sandalwood—all are burnt.

Peach, apricot, plum, pear, and jujube—gone every one.

How are the silkworms to be fed without oak and mulberry?

The birds cannot nest with no willow or bamboo.

The crags and boulders have been turned to dust,

The springs have dried up, and weeds grow in the stream-beds.

The earth is black in front of the cliff, and no orchids grow.

Creepers crawl in the brown mud by the path.

Where did the birds of yesterday fly?


Output:
Where did the birds of yesterday fly?

To what other mountain did the animals go?

Leopards and pythons dislike this ruined spot;

Cranes and snakes avoid the desolation.

My criminal thoughts of those days past

Brought on the disaster of today.

The Great Sage, deep in gloom, heard a sound from a thorny hollow in front of a grassy slope as seven or eight little monkeys leapt out, rushed up to him, and surrounded him kowtowing. “Great Sage,” they shouted, “have you come home today?”

“Why aren’t you playing?” the Handsome Monkey King asked them. “Why were you all hiding? I was here for ages without seeing a sign of you. Why?”


Output:
Tears poured from the eyes of the other monkeys as they told him, “Ever since you were taken up to Heaven as a prisoner, Great Sage, the hunters have given us a terrible time. What with their powerful bows and crossbows, their brown falcons and evil hounds, their nets, loops, hooks, and spears, we are all too afraid for our lives to come out and play. We have to hide deep in our caves and keep away from our usual dens. When we’re hungry we filch some grass from the hillside, and we drink the fresh spring water from the stream. We’ve only just heard you, Great Sage, Your Majesty, and come out to greet you. Please, please help us.”

The Great Sage felt more depressed than ever on hearing this, and he went on to ask, “How many of you are there left on this mountain?”

“Only about a thousand of all ages.”

“In the old days,” said the Great Sage, “I had forty-seven thousand fiends. Where have they all gone now?”


Output:
“After you went away the god Erlang set fire to the mountain and most of us were killed in the blaze. Some of us squatted at the bottom of wells, or hid in gullies, or took cover under the iron bridge, and escaped with our lives. When the fire burnt itself out and the smoke cleared we came out to find that there were no more plants or fruit to feed us, making life almost impossible, so half of the survivors went away. The rest of us have been having a very lean time on this mountain, and half of those left have been caught by hunters in the past two years.”

“What do they do that for?” Monkey asked.


Output:
“What do they do that for?” Monkey asked.

“We hate the very name ‘hunters,’” the other monkeys replied. “They shoot us with arrows, spear us, poison us, and beat us to death. They take us away to skin us and cut the flesh from our bones before boiling us in soy sauce, steaming us with vinegar, frying us in oil, or stir-cooking us with salt. Then they eat us to help their rice down. Those of us who are caught in nets or loops are taken away alive and made to dance in a ring, act, do somersaults, jump around, play drums and gongs in the street, and make fools of themselves in every possible way.”

“Who’s in charge in the cave?” asked Monkey, now thoroughly angry.

“Marshals Ma and Liu and Generals Ben and Ba,” they replied, “are still in command.”

“Then tell them that I’m here,” said Monkey.

The junior fiends rushed in to report, “His Majesty the Great Sage has come home.” As soon as they heard this Ma, Liu, Ben and Ba rushed out to kowtow and welcome him into the cave.


Output:
The Great Sage sat in the middle of it, with his fiendish hosts prostrating themselves before him and asking, “Why have you come back to your mountain instead of going to the West, Your Majesty? We heard recently that you had come back to life and were escorting the Tang Priest to fetch scriptures from the Western Heaven.”

“What you don’t know, my little ones,” said Monkey, “is that Sanzang can’t tell a good man when he sees one. I captured monsters and demons for him all along the way, and I used every one of my magical powers to kill evil spirits for him. But he called me a murderer and wouldn’t have me as his disciple any longer. He sent me back here and gave me a letter of dismissal to certify that he’ll never employ me again.”

All the monkeys clapped their hands for joy. “What luck,” they said, “what luck. Now you’re home again after being some kind of monk or other, you can be our leader for the next few years.”

“Lay on some coconut toddy at once to welcome His Majesty back,” someone ordered.


Output:
“No,” said the Great Sage, “don’t let’s drink. How often do the hunters come to our mountain?”

“Great Sage,” replied Marshals Ma and Liu, “they come here in all seasons and harass us for days on end.”

“Then why haven’t they come today?” Monkey asked.

“They’ll be here soon enough,” replied the marshals.

“Little ones,” Monkey ordered, “you are all to go out, gather those broken cinders that were burnt brittle in the fire, and pile them up. I want twenty to thirty or fifty to sixty in a pile. I have a use for them.” Like a swarm of bees the little monkeys rushed around making piles all over the place. When Monkey saw them he said, “Go and hide in the cave, little ones, while I do some magic.”

When the Great Sage went up to the mountain peak to look around he saw over a thousand men with horses approaching from the South. They were beating drums and gongs, and they all had falcons, hounds, swords or spears. Examining them closely the Monkey King saw that they were most menacing—fine lads and brave ones:


Output:
With fox skins over their shoulders,

And brocade covering their chests.

Their quivers were full of wolf-fanged arrows,

And carved bows hung by their legs.

The men were like tigers that comb the hills,

The horses like ravine-leaping dragons.

They came in hordes, leading their hounds,

And their arms were packed with falcons.

In thornwood baskets they carried muskets,

And powerful eagles were fastened to their belts.

They had sticky poles by the hundred

And hare forks by the thousand.

Bull-headed fiends blocked the paths with nets,

Demon kings were handling knotted ropes.

As they all roared their ferocious cries

They swarmed over the hill like the stars in the sky.

The Great Sage was furious at the sight of them spreading all over his mountain. He made a spell with his fist, muttered the words that went with it, breathed in a mouthful of air from the quarter that the winds came from, and puffed it out again. It was now a hurricane, a splendid hurricane,

Picking up the dust and earth,


Output:
Picking up the dust and earth,

Blowing down trees and whole forests.

Waves reared up as high as mountains,

As they beat in thousands upon the shore.

Heaven and Earth were thrown into gloom,

Sun and moon cast into darkness.

One gust shook the pines with a tiger’s roar,

Howling like a dragon as it rushed through the bamboos.

Heaven belched angrily through all its orifices,

As flying dirt and stones brought injury and death.

The hurricane that the Great Sage had called up made the piles of broken stone whirl wildly around, and the thousand men with their horses were reduced to a pathetic state.

The aconite was smashed to pieces by the stones,

While the flying dirt injured all the sea horses.

Ginseng and cassia were in panic by the ridge,

And blood stained the cinnabar ground.

The aconite was stranded away from home,

The betel-nut could not return to its own town.

Corpses lay scattered like powder on the mountainside

Leaving the red lady waiting anxiously at home.

As another poem says,


Output:
As another poem says,

With men and horses all dead, they could not go back—

Ghosts and lonely spirits in terrible confusion.

Alas that the martial and heroic generals

Should bleed in the sand for trusting fools.

Bringing his cloud down, the Great Sage clapped his hands and laughed aloud. “What luck,” he said, “what luck. Ever since I submitted to the Tang Priest and became a monk, he was always telling me ‘if you do good for a thousand days you still won’t have done enough, but if you do ill for one day that will be too much.’ How true it was. I killed a few evil spirits when I was with him and he regarded me as a murderer; and now I’ve come home I’ve wiped out all these hunters.”


Output: “Come out, little ones,” he shouted, and now that the hurricane was over and the Great Sage had called them, the monkeys came bounding out one after the other. “Go and strip the clothes off the dead hunters at the foot of the Southern mountain,” he said, “bring them back here, and wash the bloodstains out. Then you can wear them to keep warm. Push all the corpses into the pool that’s ten thousand fathoms deep, and when you’ve dragged all the dead horses here, strip off their hides to make into boots, and pickle their flesh—it’ll feed us for a long time. I’ll give you all those bows, arrows, spears and swords for you to practice your military skills with. And bring me back all those many coloured flags and banners for us to use.” The monkeys all accepted his orders.


Output:
The Great Sage had the banners unstitched and washed, then put them all together as one multicolored banner which bore the legend, Great Sage Equaling Heaven, Restorer of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit, Recreator of the Water Curtain Cave. They hung the banner from a pole outside the cave, and for days on end he invited demons and held gatherings of the wild beasts. He accumulated provisions, and the word “monk”

was never mentioned. As he was so generous and his powers so great he was able to go and borrow some sweet magic waters from the dragon kings of the four seas with which to bathe the mountain and make it green again. In front of it he planted elms and willows, and behind it pines and cedars; he also put in peaches, greengages, jujubes, and plums. Thus he led a happy and carefree life.


Output:
Let us return to the Tang Priest, who had trusted the word of crafty Nature and dismissed the Mind Ape. He climbed into his saddle, and with Pig leading the way and Friar Sand carrying the luggage they carried on Westwards. After crossing the White Tiger Ridge they saw a range of forested hills of which it could truthfully be said that creepers climbed and twisted among the bluish cypresses and green pines.

“Disciples,” said Sanzang, “this rough mountain path is very hard going, and we must be careful in the dense pine forests ahead as I’m afraid there may be evil spirits and monsters.” At this the idiot Pig summoned up his spirits and, telling Friar Sand to guide the horse, cleared a path with his rake along which he led the Tang Priest into the forest. As they were going along, the venerable Sanzang reined in his horse and said to Pig, “I’m really starving today. Is there anywhere you could find some food for me?”


Output: “Please dismount, master,” Pig replied, “and wait here while I go and find some.” Sanzang dismounted, while Friar Sand put down his load, took out his begging bowl, and handed it to Pig. “I’m off,” said Pig, and when asked by Sanzang where he was going he replied, “Don’t let that bother you. I’ll beg you some food even if it’s like cutting through ice to get fire, or even if it means squeezing oil out of snow.”


Output: He traveled West about four miles from the pine forest without meeting anybody. It was indeed a lonely place inhabited only by wolves and tigers. The idiot found the going heavy, and he muttered to himself, “When Monkey was with us the old priest could have anything he wanted, but now I have to do it all. How true it is that ‘you have to keep house to realize how expensive rice and firewood are, and raise sons to understand parental love’. There’s nowhere at all to beg on this road.” By now he felt sleepy after all this walking and he thought, “If I go back now and tell the old monk that there’s nowhere I can beg food, he may not believe I’ve come this far. I’d better hang around here for another hour or two before reporting back. Oh well, I may as well take a snooze in that grass.” With that the idiot pillowed his head in the grass and went to sleep. He had only meant to take forty winks and then get up again, not realizing that he was so exhausted by the journey that he would be sound asleep as soon as his


Output: that he would be sound asleep as soon as his head was down.


Output:
Let us leave Pig asleep there and return to Sanzang in the forest. As he was feeling anxious and unsettled he said to Friar Sand, “It’s late now. Why isn’t Pig back from begging for food?”

“Master,” said Friar Sand, “you still don’t understand him. He’s found out that many of these Westerners give food to monks, and with his big belly he won’t be bothering about you. He won’t be back till he’s eaten his fill.”

“True,” said Sanzang. “If he’s greedily stuffing himself somewhere far away we needn’t concern ourselves with him. It’s getting late and this is no place to spend the night. We must find somewhere to stay.”

“There’s no rush, master,” said Friar Sand. “You sit and wait here while I go and find him.”

“Very well,” said Sanzang, “very well. Never mind about the food. It’s somewhere for the night that matters.” Clasping his precious staff, Friar Sand went off through the pine forest in search of Pig.


Output: Sanzang felt thoroughly tired and miserable as he sat alone in the forest, so he summoned up his spirits, leapt to his feet, hid all the luggage in a cache, tethered the horse to a tree, took off his reed hat, and drove his staff into the ground. Then he straightened out his black robes and took a leisurely stroll among the trees to cheer himself up. As he looked at all the wild flowers he did not hear the calls of the birds returning to their nests. The grass was deep and the forest paths were narrow, and in his distraction he lost his way. He had started out to cheer himself up and also to find Pig and Friar Sand; what he did not realize was that they had headed due West while he, after wandering in all directions, was going South. He came out of the forest and looked up to see a dazzling golden light. On closer examination he saw that it was the golden roof of a pagoda whose gleaming in the setting sun. “What a sad destiny my disciples have,” he thought. “When I left the land of the East, I vowed that I


Output: “When I left the land of the East, I vowed that I would burn incense in every temple I passed, would worship every Buddha statue I saw, and sweep up every pagoda I encountered. Isn’t that a golden pagoda gleaming over there? Why didn’t we go that way? There’s bound to be a monastery at the foot of the pagoda, and the monastery must surely contain monks. Let me have a look. The luggage and the white horse can come to no harm in that uninhabited spot. If there is some suitable place we can all spend the night here when my disciples come back.”


Output:
Alas! The venerable Sanzang was once more the victim of delusion. He strode over to the pagoda, and what he saw was

A cliff ten thousand fathoms high,

A lofty mountain reaching to the firmament.

Its roots sunk deep into the earth,

Its peak thrust up into the sky.

On either side were trees by the thousand,

While creepers stretched many miles around.

The wind made shadows as it bent the tips of the flowers;

The moon had no root where the waters flowed under the clouds.

A fallen tree spanned a deep ravine,

Withered creepers were knotted round the gleaming peak.

Under the stone bridge,

Ran the water from a spring;

On the sacred altar

The ever-burning lamp was as bright as chalk.

From a distance it looked like the Three Islands of Paradise;

Close to, it resembled the blessed land of Penglai.

Fragrant pine and purple bamboo grew round the mountain brooks,

Magpies, monkeys, crows, and apes roamed the lofty ridge.

Outside the door of a cave

Animals came and went in orderly groups.


Output:
Animals came and went in orderly groups.

Among the trees

Flocks of birds were briefly seen.

Luxuriant grew the green and scented herbs,

As the wild flowers bloomed in all their glory.

This was clearly an evil place

That the deluded priest approached,

Sanzang stepped out and was soon at the gate of the pagoda. Seeing a curtain of speckled bamboo hanging inside, he lifted it up and went in. He raised his head and saw an evil monster sleeping on a stone bed. Do you know what he looked like?

A dark blue face,

White fangs,

A huge gaping mouth.

On either side of it were matted hairs

All stained with fat and grease.

The purple tufts of his beard and moustache

Made one think of splayed-out lichee shoots.

His nose was as hooked as a parrot’s beak

His eyes as dim as stars in the dawn.

His two fists

Were the size of a monk’s begging bowl;

His indigo-blue feet

Were like a pair of logs.

The pale yellow robe that was flung across him

Was grander than a brocade cassock.

The sword in his hand


Output:
The sword in his hand

Gleamed and flashed;

The rock on which he slept

Was exquisite, smooth and flawless.

As a little fiend he had marshaled ant formations,

When a senior demon he had sat in the wasps’ headquarters.

At the sight of his awe-inspiring might

All would shout out,

Calling him master.

He had created three men drinking in the moonlight,

And had magicked out of the wind cups of refreshing tea.

Consider his tremendous supernatural powers—

In the wink of an eyelid

He could be at the ends of the earth.

In wild forests he could sing like a bird;

Deep in the bush he would stay with snakes and tigers.

When an Immortal farms the land it bears white jade;

When a Taoist master tends the fire he produces elixir.

Although this little cave-mouth

Did not lead to the Avichi Hell,

Yet this ferocious monster

Was a bull-headed demon.


Output:
Was a bull-headed demon.

Sanzang was so terrified at the sight of him that he shrank back, his whole body numb with terror. No sooner had he turned to go than the monster, whose powers really were tremendous, opened a fiendish eye with a golden pupil and shouted, “Who is that outside the door, little ones?”

A junior devil poked his head out to look, saw a shaven-headed priest, and ran in to report, “A monk, Your Majesty. He has a large face and a round head, and his ears hang down to his shoulders. His flesh looks most tender and his skin extremely delicate. He’s a very promising monk.”


Output:
The monster cackled and said, “This is what they call ‘a fly landing on a snake’s head, or food and clothing presenting themselves to you’. Go and catch him for me, lads, and bring him back here. I’ll reward you well.” The junior demons rushed out after Sanzang like a swarm of bees; and Sanzang, in his alarm, started to run so fast he seemed to fly. But he was so terrified that his legs were soon like numb jelly, and on top of this the path was very uneven and it was twilight in the deep forest. He could not move fast enough, and the junior demons picked him up and carried him back.

A dragon in shallows falls victim to shrimps;

A tiger on the plain can be put upon by dogs.

Although good deeds always run into trouble,

The Tang Priest on his Westward journey has been most unlucky.


Output:
The junior devils carried the Tang Priest as far as the bamboo curtain and put him down outside it as they announced with great delight, “We’ve brought the monk back, Your Majesty.” The old demon stole a look and saw that Sanzang, who was holding his head high with dignity, must be a fine monk.

“So fine a monk,” he thought, “must be a superior person, so I mustn’t treat him as a nobody. If I don’t overawe him he won’t submit to me.” Like a fox pretending to be as awe-inspiring as a tiger, he made his red whiskers bristle, his bloody hair stand on end, and his eyeballs bulge in a glare. “Bring that monk in,” he roared.

“Yes sir,” the other fiends shouted in chorus, pushing Sanzang inside. As the saying goes, “You have to bow your head under low eaves,” and Sanzang was obliged to put his hands together and greet him.

“Where do you live, monk?” the monster asked. “Where have you come from, and where are you going? Tell me at once.”


Output:
“I am a priest from the Tang country, and I am going to the West on the command of His Majesty the Tang Emperor to ask for holy scriptures. As I was passing your distinguished mountain, I came over to visit the holy men of this pagoda. I did not realize that I would disturb Your Excellency, and I beg you to forgive me. When I return East with the scriptures from the West I shall see to it that your fame will be eternally celebrated.”

“I thought you must be someone from a superior country,” said the fiend, bellowing with laughter, “and as that’s who you are, I’m going to eat you up. It was splendid of you to come, splendid—otherwise we might have let you slip. You were fated to be the food in my mouth, so of course you came rushing here. We’ll never let you go; and you’ll never escape.” Then he ordered the junior demons to tie him up. They rushed upon him and bound him tight to a soul-fixing stake.


Output:
Holding his sword in his hands, the old fiend asked, “How many of you are there altogether? You wouldn’t have the guts to go to the Western Heaven all by yourself.” Eyeing the sword in his hand, Sanzang had to answer truthfully.

“I have two disciples, Your Majesty,” he said, “called Pig and Friar Sand. They have both gone begging for food outside the pine forest. Apart from them there is a load of baggage and a white horse that I left in the wood.”

“More luck!” said the fiend. “Two disciples as well makes three of you, four counting the horse, which is enough for a meal.”

“We’ll go and get ‘em,” the junior fiends said.

“No,” the old monster said, “don’t go. Lock the front gate. As they’ve gone begging for food they’ll have to find their master for him to eat it, and when they can’t find him they’re bound to come searching for him here. As the saying goes, ‘it’s easiest to do business at home.’ Just wait and we’ll catch them all in good time.” The junior demons shut the front gate.


Output:
We will leave the unlucky Sanzang and return to Friar Sand, who was now three or four miles outside the forest in his search for Pig but had not yet seen any village. As he stood on a hillock looking around him, he heard a voice in the undergrowth; and sweeping the tall grass aside with his staff, he discovered the idiot talking in his sleep. Pig woke up when Friar Sand twisted his ear. “You idiot,” said Friar Sand, “who said you could sleep here instead of begging for food as our master told you?”

Pig, waking up with a start, asked, “What’s the time, brother?”

“Get up at once,” replied Friar Sand. “The master told us two to find somewhere to stay whether we can beg any food or not.”

Holding his begging bowl and his rake, the drowsy Pig headed straight back with Friar Sand, and when they looked for their master in the wood they could not see him. “It’s all because you didn’t come back from begging for food, you idiot,” said Friar Sand indignantly. “Master must have been carried off by an evil spirit.”


Output:
“Don’t talk nonsense, brother,” replied a grinning Pig. “This forest is a very proper sort of place and couldn’t possibly have any evil spirits in it. I expect the old monk got bored sitting here and went off somewhere to look around. Let’s go and find him.” They took the horse’s bridle, picked up the shoulder-pole with the luggage, collected Sanzang’s hat and staff, and left the pine wood in search of their master.

But Sanzang was not fated to die this time. When the two had been looking for him without success for a while, they saw a shimmering golden light due South of them. “Blessed indeed are the blessed, brother;” said Pig. “Look where the master must be staying. That light is coming from a pagoda, and they would be bound to look after him well. I expect they’ve laid on a meal and are making him stay to eat it. Let’s get a move on and have some of it ourselves.”

“It certainly can’t be anything sinister,” replied Friar Sand. “We must go and have a look.”


Output:
As the pair of them arrived at the gates they found them closed. Above the gates they saw a horizontal tablet of white jade on which were carved the words MOON WATERS CAVE, BOWL MOUNTAIN.

“Brother,” said Friar Sand, “this is no temple. It’s an evil spirit’s cave. If our master is in there we’ll never see him.”

“Never fear,” replied Pig. “Tether the horse and mind the luggage while I ask for news of him.” With that the idiot raised his rake and shouted at the top of his voice. “Open up, open up.” The junior devil who was on gate duty opened the gates, and at the sight of the pair of them he rushed inside to report, “Your Majesty, we’re in business.”

“What sort of business?” the old monster asked.

“There are two monks outside the gates,” the junior demon replied. “One has a long snout and big ears and the other looks down on his luck, and they are shouting at us to open up.”


Output:
“That means Pig and Friar Sand have come looking for him,” said the old monster. “Ha! They were bound to. What brought them here? They look stupid, but I’d better treat them with respect.” He called for his armor to be put on him, and when the junior demons had brought it and fastened it on, he took his sword in his hand and marched straight out of the cave.

When Pig and Friar Sand, who were waiting outside, saw the ferocious demon come out this is what he looked like:

A blue face, a red beard, and scarlet hair blowing free;

Golden armor dazzling bright.

Around his waist was a belt of cowries,

And his armor was strapped to his chest with cloud-walking cords.

As he stood before the mountain the wind roared;

Mighty were the waves when he roamed across the seas.

A pair of indigo, muscled hands

Held a soul-chasing, life-snatching sword.

If you want to know this creature’s name,

Address him as Yellow Robe.


Output:
Address him as Yellow Robe.

As the old monster Yellow Robe came out through the gates he asked, “Where are you monks from, and why are you yelling at my gates?”

“Don’t you recognize me, son?” said Pig. “I’m your father. I’ve been sent by the Great Tang on a mission to the Western Heaven. My master is Sanzang, the Emperor’s younger brother. If he’s here, send him out at once and save me the trouble of having to smash my way in with this rake.”

“Yes indeed,” laughed the monster, “there is a Tang Priest in my place. I haven’t showed him any discourtesy, and I’ve laid on a meal of human flesh dumplings for him. Why don’t you two come in and have some?”


Output:
The idiot would have gone in quite trustingly if Friar Sand had not held him back and said, “He’s luring you in, brother. Besides, when have you ever eaten human flesh?” The idiot saw the light as last, and he struck at the evil monster’s face with his rake. The monster sidestepped and parried with his steel sword. They both showed their magic powers as they leapt up on clouds to continue the fight in mid-air. Friar Sand abandoned the baggage and the white horse and rushed to Pig’s aid. It was a fine battle up in the clouds between the two wolfish monks and the evil monster:

When the staff was raised it was met by the sword;

The same sword parried the rake’s blow.

One devil general displaying his prowess,

A pair of monkish gods revealing their transformations.

The nine-pronged rake was quite magnificent;

The demon-submitting staff was truly terrifying.

They came from before and behind, from left and right,

But Yellow Robe was calm and unafraid.


Output:
But Yellow Robe was calm and unafraid.

See how his blade of tempered steel shines like silver;

Great indeed were his magical powers.

Their fighting filled the sky

With mists and clouds;

Amid the mountains

Cliffs crashed and fell.

One was fighting for fame

So how could he stop?

The others, fighting for their master,

Were completely unafraid.

The three of them fought dozens of rounds in mid-air without issue. They were all fighting for their very lives, and nothing could have kept them apart.

If you don’t know how they saved the Tang Priest, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Sanzang, Delivered, Crosses a Border

A Grateful Pig Tours Mountains and Forests

A poem says

If wild thoughts are not firmly suppressed

There is no point in seeking for the Truth;

If you wish to cultivate your nature before the Buddha,

Why stay halfway between awakening and confusion?

Once awakened you can achieve the Right in an instant;


Output:
The confused will drift for ten thousand aeons.

If you can invoke the Buddha and cultivate the Truth,

Sins countless as the Ganges sands can be wiped out.

Pig and Friar Sand had fought thirty inconclusive rounds with the monster. Do you know why they were inconclusive? As far as skill went not even twenty monks, let alone two, would have been a match for that evil I spirit. Yet because the Tang Priest was not fated to die he was being secretly protected by Dharma-guarding deities. There were also the Six 9” Dings, the Six Jias, the Revealers of the Truth of the Five Regions, the Four Duty Gods, and the Eighteen Defenders of the Faith helping Pig and Friar Sand in mid-air.


Output: We must leave the three of them locked in struggle and return to Sanzang sobbing his heart out in the cave and speculating about his disciples. “I wonder if you have met a benefactor in a village somewhere, Pig,” he thought, tears streaming down his face, “and have been overcome by your greed for the offerings. Wherever are you looking for him, Friar Sand? Will you find him? Little do you know of my sufferings at the hands of this fiend I have run into. When will I see you again and be delivered from my troubles so that we can hurry to the Vulture Peak?” As he fretted and wailed he saw a woman come out from the innermost part of the cave. “Venerable father,” she said, leaning on the soul-fixing stake, “where have you come from? Why has he tied you here?” When Sanzang heard this he sneaked a quick look at her through his tears and observed that she was about thirty. “Don’t ask me that, Bodhisattva,” he said, “I was fated to die: I walked into your home. Eat me if you must, but don’t ask me why.”


Output:
“I don’t eat people,” she replied. “My home is over a hundred miles West of here in the city called Elephantia. I’m the third daughter of the king, and my childhood name was Prettier-than-a-flower. Thirteen years ago, on the fifteenth night of the eighth month, that evil monster came and snatched me away in a whirlwind while we were out enjoying the full moon. I have been his wife all these thirteen years and borne him sons and daughters, but I’ve never been able to send any message home. I miss my parents, and I can never see them. Where did you come from to be caught by him?”

“I was sent to the Western Heaven to fetch the scriptures,” replied Sanzang. “I never realized when I set out for a stroll that I would stumble into this. Now he’s going to capture my two disciples and steam us all together, then eat us.”


Output:
“Don’t worry, venerable sir,” said the princess with a smile. “As you are going to fetch scriptures I can save you. Elephantia lies on the main route to the West, and if you will take this letter to my parents for me, I’ll make him spare your life.”

“If you save my wretched life, Bodhisattva,” said Sanzang with a bow, “I promise to be your messenger.”

The princess hurried back inside, wrote a letter to her family, sealed it, released Sanzang from the stake, and handed him the letter. “Bodhisattva,” he said, taking the letter now that he was free, “I am very grateful to you for saving my life. When I reach your country I shall give this to the King. My only worry is that after all these years your parents may not believe that the letter is from you, and what would I do then? I couldn’t have them thinking that I was trying to deceive them.”


Output: “That’s no problem. My father has only us three daughters and no sons. If they see this letter they’ll feel that they’re seeing me.” Tucking the letter securely into his sleeve, he took his leave of the princess, and was on the point of going out when she pulled him back and said, “You won’t be able to get out through the front gate. All those big and little monsters are outside the gates waving banners, shouting war-cries, and beating drums and gongs to help the monster king in his battle with your two disciples. You’d better go out the back way. If the monster king catches you he’ll interrogate you under torture, and if the junior fiends grab you they’ll kill you without a qualm. I’ll go to see him and talk him over. If he’s prepared to let you go, your disciples can ask his permission for all three of you to go together.” Sanzang kowtowed and, as she had told him, left her, slipped out through the back door, and hid among the thorns rather than travel alone.


Output:
The princess, who had thought out a clever plan, hurried out through the front gates and made her way through the hosts of demons great and small to hear the furious clash of arms. Pig and Friar Sand were still fighting with the monster in mid-air. “Lord Yellow Robe,” she shouted at the top of her voice, and as soon as he heard her the demon king left Pig and Friar Sand, landed his cloud, and grasping his steel sword, took his wife by the arm.

“What is it, wife?” he asked.

“I was lying in bed asleep just now, husband,” she replied, “and I dreamt that I saw a god in golden armor.”

“What sort of god in golden armor?” he asked. “Why did he come here?”


Output:
“When I was a child in the palace,” she said, “I made a secret vow that if I married a good husband I would climb holy mountains, visit Immortals, and give alms to monks. I have now been happily married to you for thirteen years without ever mentioning the vow before, and the god in golden armor came to make me fulfil it. His shouting made me wake up, and then I realized it was a dream. I tidied myself up and came straight to tell you about it. To my surprise I found a monk tied to the stake. I beg you, lord and master, to respect my vow and spare that monk in your mercy. This will count as feeding monks and will fulfil my vow. Will you do this?”

“What a fusser you are, wife,” he replied. “Nothing to it. If I want to eat people I can easily catch a few more. If that’s how things stand, let the monk go.”

“Please may he be released through the back door, husband?”


Output:
“What a thing to bother me with. Let him go, and I don’t care whether it’s by the front way or the back way.” The monster then grasped his sword once more and shouted, “Come here, Pig. I’m not afraid of you, but I’m not fighting you any longer. For my wife’s sake I’ve spared your master, so hurry round and find him at the back door and carry on West. If you set foot in my territory again I won’t let you off a second time.”

This news made Pig and Friar Sand feel as if they had been let out through the gates of Hell. They scurried away with the horse and the baggage, and going round to the other end of the Moon Waters Cave they called “Master” outside the back entrance. Sanzang recognized their voices and called back from among the thorn bushes. Friar Sand made his way through the undergrowth, helped his master out, and hurriedly helped him mount the horse.

When he was threatened by the terrible blue-faced monster

He was lucky to meet the devout princess.

Escaping from the golden hook, the turtle


Output:
Escaping from the golden hook, the turtle

Swam off through the waves with a flick of his tail.

With Pig leading and Friar Sand bringing up the rear, they left the pine forest and traveled along the main track. The two disciples grumbled and complained, while Sanzang tried to conciliate them. Every evening they would find lodgings, and they would be up again at cock-crow. They covered stage after stage of their journey, sometimes longer and sometimes shorter, and before they realized it they had done ninety-nine miles. Suddenly they looked up and there was a fine city in front of them. This was Elephantia, and it was a splendid place:

Distant clouds,

A long road;

Although this was a distant land,

The scenery was as fine as home.

Auspicious mists enshrouded the city;

Fresh breezes were blowing under the clear moon.

Towering mountains, seen from afar,

Were spread out like a picture.

Rivers flowed rippling,

Like streams of crushed jasper.

There were fields upon fields of farmland


Output:
There were fields upon fields of farmland

Where new crops sprouted close together.

A handful of fishermen worked three stretches of water,

A wood-gatherer carried twigs from a couple of hills.

The outer wall

And the inner wall of the city,

Were rock-solid.

The houses

And homes

Vied in elegance.

Nine-storied pavilions were like palaces,

High towers like imperial columns.

There was a Hall of the Great Ultimate,

A Flowery Canopied Hall,

A Hall of Incense,

A Hall of Literary Perusal,

A Hall of Government Proclaimed,

A Hall of Splendor Extended,

All with steps of jade and gold

Where civil and military officers stood in their ranks.

There was also a Great Brightness Palace,

A Palace of Shining Radiance,

A Palace of Eternal Joy,

A Palace of Illustrious Purity,

A Palace of Established Enlightenment,

A Palace of Inexhaustible Glory.

In every palace were gongs, drums, pipes and flutes,

Lamenting the sorrows of spring and the harem’s woes.

Then there were imperial parks


Output:
Then there were imperial parks

Where dew bathed the flowers’ tender petals;

And royal canals

Where willows bent their slender waists in the wind.

On the highways

Were belted gentlemen in official hats,

Attired in all their splendor

As they rode in five-horsed chariots;

In remote corners

Were archers with bows and arrows

Whose shots split the clouds apart

And skewered pairs of hawks.

What with the willow-lined streets,

And the houses full of music,

This spring scene rivaled the Luoyang Bridge.

The pilgrim who was seeking the sutras

Was torn with nostalgia for the Great Tang;

The disciples accompanying their master

In a rest-house found happiness in their dream.

Gazing at the view of Elephantia the master and his two disciples dealt with the luggage and the horse and settled down in a rest-house.


Output:
The Tang Priest went on foot to the palace gates, where he said to the High Custodian of the gate, “I beg you to report that there is a monk from the Tang Court who has come for a personal audience with His Majesty and has a letter of credentials.”

A eunuch messenger hurried to the white jade steps and announced, “Your Majesty, a distinguished priest from the Tang Court has come for an audience as he has a letter of credentials to deliver.” The king was delighted to hear that he was from the mighty land of Tang and was himself a venerable and holy monk, so he gave his approval at once with the words, “Call him in.”

Sanzang was summoned to the golden steps, where he danced in obeisance and called out the correct greeting. On either side the many civil and military officers all sighed with admiration and said, “What impressive music and ritual this gentleman from that distinguished country has.”

“Venerable sir, why have you come to my country?” the king asked.


Output:
“I am a Buddhist from the land of Tang,” Sanzang replied, “and I am going to the Western Heaven on the Emperor’s orders to fetch the scriptures. I am carrying a letter of credentials, and now that I have arrived in Your Majesty’s country it seems proper to hand it to you. Not knowing whether to advance or retreat, I must apologize for disturbing the Dragon Countenance.”

“If you have Tang credentials,” the king replied, “bring them here for me to see.” Sanzang handed the letter up respectfully with both hands and unfolded it on the king’s table. It read: From the Tang Emperor of the Great Tang Kingdom, who reigns by order of Heaven, in the Southern Continent of Jambudvipa.


Output: Despite our feeble virtues we have succeeded to the throne, and in worshipping the gods and ruling the people we are as careful morning and night as if we were on the edge of a precipice or treading on thin ice. Because we failed to save the Dragon King of the Jing River, punishment was visited on our august self; our souls were rushed to the underworld and we became a guest in the land of death. As our lifespan was not yet over, the Lord of Darkness sent us back to the world of the living. We held a Great Assembly of monks and built a holy altar where the souls of the dead could be brought over to the other side. To our great gratitude the Bodhisattva Guanyin, the deliverer from suffering, appeared in person and told us that there is a Buddha in the West who has scriptures that will save the lost and bring lonely souls who have nobody to help them over to the other side. We have therefore especially commissioned the Patriarch Xuanzang to make the long journey across countless mountains to seek for the


Output: across countless mountains to seek for the scriptures and psalms. Should he come to any countries in the West we hope that on seeing this letter they will allow him to go on his way and not impede this predestined good deed. This is addressed to whom it may concern. Given by His Imperial Majesty on an auspicious day in the autumn of the thirteenth year of Then Guan of the Great Tang.


Output: When he had read this letter, which bore nine imperial seals, the king sealed it with his great seal and handed it back to Sanzang, who thanked him as he took it. “Not only did I have a letter of credentials to present,” he reported, “I have also brought a family letter to deliver to Your Majesty.” The king was delighted and asked what it was. “I happened to meet Your Majesty’s third princess, who was carried off by the Yellow-Robed Monster of the Moon Waters Cave in the Bowl Mountain, and she gave me this letter to deliver to you.” Tears poured from the king’s eyes at the news, and he said, “It is thirteen years since I saw her last, and I don’t know how many military and civil officers I can have dismissed or degraded, and how many of the ladies-in-waiting, serving maids, and eunuchs I have had beaten to death since then. I imagined that she had wandered out of the palace and lost her way, and I looked for her everywhere. Even when all the ordinary citizens were interrogated I could find no news of her


Output: were interrogated I could find no news of her whereabouts. I never thought that an evil monster could have carried her off. Hearing this all of a sudden makes me weep for sorrow.” Sanzang produced the letter from his sleeve and handed it to the king, who on seeing the words, “All is well” on the outside felt so weak in his hands that he could not open it. He ordered a Grand Scholar from the Academy of Letters to climb the steps of the throne and read it aloud. As the Grand Scholar climbed the steps of the throne, the civil and military officials in front of the throne room and the empresses, royal consorts, and palace ladies behind it all listened intently. The Grand Scholar opened it and read aloud: Your unworthy daughter Prettier-than-a-flower kowtows one hundred times to His Most Excellent Majesty the King her father in the Dragon and Phoenix Palace, to her Majesty the Queen her mother outside the Palace of Shining Radiance, and to all the noble ministers and generals of the court; it is my pleasure to


Output: and generals of the court; it is my pleasure to send news to you and thank you for the infinite trouble you have taken on my behalf. But I am unable to devote myself to cheering Your Majesty and carry out my filial duties to the full.


Output: Thirteen years ago, on the festive fifteenth night of the eighth month, when banquets were being given in all the palaces in accordance with Your Majesty’s benevolent command, we were enjoying the moonlight and the clear stars. In the middle of our rejoicing a sudden gust of fragrant wind blew up, and from it emerged a demon king with golden pupils, a blue face, and green hair, who seized your daughter and carried her away on a magic cloud to a desolate mountain far from human habitation. There was no way I could stop him forcing me to be his wife, and I have had to endure this for thirteen years. I have borne him two fiendish sons, and they are both complete monsters. I would not have written to you and sullied you with the news of my uncivilized and disgraceful experiences, but I was afraid that after my death nobody would know what had happened to me. Just as I was missing my parents and angry about my fate, a Tang monk also happened to be captured by the monster, so with tears in my eyes I am boldly


Output: the monster, so with tears in my eyes I am boldly writing this letter and sending it to you as a token of my feelings. I beg you, Majesty, to take pity on me and send a general to the Moon Waters Cave in Bowl Mountain to capture the Yellow-robed Monster, rescue me, and take me back to the palace, this would make me profoundly grateful. Please excuse the hasty and disrespectful tone of this letter.


Output:
With more kowtows,

Your disobedient daughter,

Prettier-than-a-flower.

When the Grand Scholar had read it through, the king wept aloud, the ladies of the palace were all in tears, and the officials were all saddened. Everyone was miserable.

After weeping for a long time the king asked the civil and military officials which of them would lead troops to capture the monster and rescue Princess Prettier-than-a-flower for him. He asked them all several times, but nobody would accept, the generals looked as though they were carved out of wood, and the officials might have been molded from clay.


Output: The king was highly agitated, and floods of tears were pouring down his face when the civil and military officials all prostrated themselves before him and said, “Please don’t be so disturbed, Your Majesty. The princess has been lost for thirteen years now without anything being heard of her, so we cannot yet know whether she really met this Tang priest and sent a letter by him. Besides, we are all mere mortals, and the military manuals and books of strategy we have studied only cover the deployment of soldiers in battle, making encampments, and what else is necessary to protect the country from the disaster of invasion. That evil spirit travels by cloud and mist, and we would never even be able to catch sight of him, let alone capture him and rescue the Princess. Now that Easterner who is going to fetch scriptures is a holy priest from a great country. This monk must have demon-subduing powers as his ‘high qualities overawe the dragons and tigers, and his great virtues give him power over devils and gods.’


Output: virtues give him power over devils and gods.’ “As the old saying goes, ‘The man who comes to argue about rights and wrongs is usually the wrongdoer himself.’ Far and away the best plan would be to ask this venerable gentleman to subdue the fiend and rescue the princess.”


Output:
“If you have any supernatural skills, venerable sir,” the king said, turning at once to Sanzang, “then use your dharma powers to capture this evil monster and bring my daughter back to the palace. If you do that there will be no need to travel to the West and visit the Buddha. You can let your hair grow and I will make you my brother. We shall sit together on the dragon throne and share my wealth and honour. What about it?”

“My only humble skill,” Sanzang hastened to reply, “lies in invoking the Buddha’s name, and I really cannot subdue fiends.”

“If you can’t subdue fiends,” the king retorted, “how can you have the courage to go to visit the Buddha in the Western Heaven?”

Sanzang now told him about the two disciples as he could not keep them a secret any longer. “Your Majesty,” he said, “I could scarcely have come this far by myself. I have two disciples, both skilled at finding ways across mountains and at bridging rivers, who have escorted me here.”


Output:
“You have behaved disgracefully, monk,” said the king angrily. “As you have disciples, you should have brought them with you to see me. Even if we could have offered them no presents they would have liked, they would at least have been given a meal.”

“My disciples are so hideous,” Sanzang replied, “that I dared not bring them to court for fear of offending Your Majesty’s dignity.”

“What a monkish thing to say,” observed the king with a smile. “You don’t really think I would be afraid of them, do you?”


Output:
“Oh, no,” said Sanzang. “The surname of the older one is Pig; his personal names are Wuneng, Awakened to Power, and Bajie, Eight Prohibitions. He has a long snout, vicious fangs, bristles of steel and ears as big as fans. He is so heftily built that he makes a breeze as he walks. The surname of the second disciple is Sand, and his Buddhist name is Monk Awakened to Purity. He is twelve feet tall, and his arms are four feet thick. His face is the color of indigo, and his mouth is like a bowl of blood. His eyes burn and flash, and his teeth are like rows of nails. It was because they both look so terrible that I did not dare bring them with me.”

“Even after you have told me about them,” said the king, “I know that I have nothing to fear. Have them summoned here.” With that a messenger with a golden tablet was sent to the rest-house to invite them to the palace.


Output:
On receiving the invitation the idiot said to Friar Sand, “Brother, do you still think he shouldn’t have delivered the letter? Now you can see the advantages of delivering it. I reckon that when the master delivered it, the king must have thought that the person who brought such a message could not be treated rudely and so laid on a banquet for him. As our master has such a weak appetite he must have remembered us and mentioned our names. This is why the messenger was sent here. After a meal we’ll be able to make a good start tomorrow.”

“This must have been in our destiny,” said Friar Sand. “Let’s go.” Entrusting their baggage and the horse to the manager of the hostel they accompanied the messenger to court; they kept their weapons with them. When they reached the white jade steps they stood below them and chanted a “na-a-aw” of respect then stood there without moving. Every one of the civil and military officials was horrified.


Output:
“Apart from being hideous,” they said to each other, “they are far too coarse and vulgar. Why are they standing bolt upright after a mere ‘na-a-aw’ instead of prostrating themselves before His Majesty? Shocking, quite shocking.”

Overhearing this, pig said, “Please don’t make rude comments on us, gentlemen. This is the way we look, and although we seem ugly at first sight, after a while we become quite bearable.”

The king, who had been quite frightened at the sight of their brutishness, trembled so violently on hearing the idiot Pig talking that he lost his balance and fell off his dragon throne. Fortunately the gentlemen-in-waiting were on hand to help him up again.

This threw Sanzang into such a panic that he fell to his knees and kowtowed without stopping, saying, “Your Majesty, I deserve to die ten thousand deaths, ten thousand deaths. I said that my disciples were too hideous for me to dare to bring them to court for fear of harming your dragon dignity, and now I have given Your Majesty this fright.”


Output:
The king walked shakily over to him, raised him to his feet, and said, “Thank goodness you warned me about them beforehand, venerable sir. Otherwise I would undoubtedly have died of shock at the sight of them.” When the king had taken some time to calm himself down he asked Pig and Friar Sand which of the two of them was better at subduing fiends.

“I am,” said the shameless idiot.

“How do you do it, pray?” the king asked.

“I am Marshal Tian Peng,” Pig replied, “and I was exiled to this mortal world for offending against part of the Heavenly Code. Happily I have now returned to the truth and become a monk. I am the best fiend-subduer of all of us who have come here from the East.”

“If you are a heavenly general turned mortal,” said the king, “you must be good at transformations.”

“I wouldn’t say that much,” Pig replied, “but I can do one or two.”

“Show me one,” said the king.

“Tell me what you want me to turn into,” said Pig. “Turn into a giant, then,” said the king.


Output:
Pig, who could do thirty-six transformations, now showed off his powers before the steps of the throne. Clenching his fist and reciting the words of the spell he shouted “Grow!” bowed forward, and grew eighty or ninety feet tall. He looked like one of the paper gods carried at the head of funeral processions. The civil and military officials trembled with fright; monarch and subjects alike gazed at him in stupefaction.

Then the General Guarding the Palace said, “You have certainly grown very tall, venerable sir. How much taller could you grow before you had to stop?”

“It depends on the wind,” replied the idiot, talking in his idiotic way. “I can manage quite well in an East or a West wind, and if a South wind blows up I can make a big dent in the sky.”

“Then give your magic powers a rest,” said the king, more frightened than ever. “We are sure you can do that.” Pig contracted himself to his real size and stood in attendance at the foot of the steps once more.


Output:
“What weapon will you use to fight the monster on this mission?” the king asked. Pig pulled his rake from his belt and said, “This rake.”

“But that would disgrace us,” said the king with a smile. “Here we have steel whips, maces, claws on chains, war-hammers, cutlasses, halberds, pole-axes, battle-axes, swords, bills, spears, and battle-scythes. Choose one that suits you—that rake doesn’t count as a real weapon.”

“What Your Majesty doesn’t realize,” Pig replied, “is that although it’s crude I’ve carried it around with me since I was a child. I depended on it completely when I commanded eighty thousand sailors and marines as marshal of the Milky Way, the Heavenly River. Down in this world as my master’s escort I’ve used it to smash the dens of tigers and wolves in the mountains and to turn the nests of dragons and leviathans upside-down in rivers.”


Output:
The king was thoroughly delighted and convinced on hearing this, so he ordered nine of his Royal Consorts to fetch a bottle of his own royal wine with which to send the venerable Pig off; then he filled a goblet and presented it to Pig with the words, “May this cup of wine, venerable father, express my gratitude for the service you are going to render. When you capture the evil monster and bring back my daughter you will be rewarded with a state banquet and a thousand pieces of gold.” For all his coarseness the idiot accepted it with style.

“Master,” he said to Sanzang after chanting a “na-a-aw” of respect, “you should drink this wine first, but His Majesty gave it to me and I dare not disobey him. Please allow me to drink first as it will brace my spirits for the capture of the monster.”


Output:
He drained the cup in one gulp, refilled it, and handed it to Sanzang, who said, “As I cannot touch alcohol you two must drink it for me.” Friar Sand came over and took it. Clouds now sprouted under Pig’s feet and he shot up into mid-air.

“Venerable Pig,” exclaimed the king, “you can walk on clouds too!”

When Pig had gone Friar Sand drained his cup of wine at one draft too and said, “When the Yellow-robed Monster captured you, master, the pair of us were only just a match for him in combat. I’m afraid that my elder brother won’t be able to beat him by himself.”

“Yes,” Sanzang replied. “You’d better go and help him.”

When Friar Sand too sprang up into the air on a cloud and went off, the anxious king grabbed hold of Sanzang and said, “Stay here with me, venerable sir. Don’t you go flying off on a cloud too.”

“I, alas, cannot take a single step by cloud.” We leave the two of them talking to each other in the palace.

“I’m here, brother,” said Friar Sand as he caught Pig up.


Output:
“Why?” Pig asked. “The master told me to come and lend you a hand,” replied Friar Sand.

“Good, it’s as well you’ve come. We two’ll do our damndest and capture this fiend. Even though it won’t be anything very big, it’ll at least make us famous in this country.”

On shimmering clouds they left the country,

Departing from the capital in a blaze of magic light.

On the king’s command they came to the mountain cave

To fight hard side by side to capture the evil spirit.

Before long they reached the mouth of the cave and landed their cloud. Pig brought his rake down with all his might on the door of the cave and made a hole the size of a bucket in it. The junior demons guarding it were so frightened that they opened up the gates; at the sight of the pair of them they rushed inside to report, “Bad news, Your Majesty. The long-snouted monk with big ears and the other one with a horrible face have come back and smashed down our doors.”


Output:
“Pig and Friar Sand again?” exclaimed the monster in astonishment. “How dare they come and break down my door after I’ve spared their master’s life?”

“Perhaps they’ve come to fetch something they left behind,” suggested a junior demon.

“Nonsense,” snorted the monster. “Would they break the gate down if they’d just left something behind?” He hastily tied on his armor, took his steel sword, went outside and asked, “Monks, what do you mean by smashing down my door? I spared your master, didn’t I?”

“Will you do a decent thing, wretched ogre?” said Pig.

“What?” asked the old monster.


Output:
“What?” asked the old monster.

“You forced the Third Princess of the land of Elephantia to come to your cave,” said Pig, “and you’ve made her stay here for thirteen years. You should send her back now. We’ve come here to capture you on the king’s orders, so you’d better hurry in and tie yourself up if you don’t want me to hit you.” The old fiend was now furious. Just watch him as he gnashes his fangs of steel, glares so hard that his eyes become round with fury, raises his sword, and hacks at Pig’s head. Pig avoided the blow and struck back at the monster’s face with his rake, after which Friar Sand rushed forward to join in the fight with his staff. This battle on the mountain was not the same as the earlier one:

Saying the wrong things can make men angry;

Wicked intentions and hurt feelings give birth to wrath.

The great steel sword of the demon king

Sliced down at the head;

Pig’s nine-toothed rake

Went for the face.

As Friar Sand let fly with his staff


Output:
As Friar Sand let fly with his staff

The demon king parried with his magic weapon.

One wild ogre,

Two holy monks,

Moving to and fro with the greatest of calm.

One says,

“You deserve to die for your crime against the country.”

The other replies,

“Interfering fellow, trying to put the world to rights.”

“By seizing the princess you have insulted the state,” said the one.

“Just mind your own business,” said the other.

It was all because of the letter,

That the monks and the monster were now in combat.


Output:
When they had fought eight or nine bouts on the mountain side Pig was beginning to tire; his strength was flagging and he could only raise his rake with difficulty. Do you know why they could not hold out against the monster this time? In the first battle all the guardian gods had been helping Pig and Friar Sand as Sanzang was in the cave, so that they had then been a match for the ogre. This time the guardian gods were all looking after Sanzang in Elephantia, which was why Pig and Friar Sand could not hold out against the fiend.

“You come forward and fight him, Friar Sand,” said the idiot, “while I go off for a shit.” Then with no further thought for Friar Sand he streaked off into the undergrowth of grass, wild figs, thorns and creepers, diving straight in and not bothering about the scratches on his face. Then he fell into a doze, too frightened to come

out again. He kept an ear cocked for the sound of clashing weapons.


Output:
Seeing Pig flee, the monster charged at Friar Sand, who could do nothing to stop the ogre from seizing him and carrying him into the cave. The junior fiends tied him up hand and foot. If you don’t know what became of him, listen to the explanation in the next chapter.

Chapter Thirty

An Evil Monster Harms the True Law

The Mind-Horse Remembers the Heart-Ape

Now that he had tied up Friar Sand, the monster did not kill him, hit him, or even swear at him. Instead he raised his sword and thought, “Coming from so great a country the Tang priest must have a sense of propriety—he can’t have sent his disciples to capture me after I spared his life. Hmm. That wife of mine must have sent some kind of letter to her country and let the secret out. Just wait till I question her.” The monster became so furious that he was ready to kill her.

The unwitting princess, who had just finished making herself up, came out to see the ogre knitting his brows and gnashing his teeth in anger.


Output:
“What is bothering you, my lord?” she asked with a smile. The monster snorted and started to insult her.

“You low bitch,” he said, “you haven’t a shred of human decency. You never made the slightest complaint when I first brought you here. You wear clothes of brocade and a crown of gold, and I go out to find anything you need. You live in luxury all four seasons of the year, and we’ve always been very close to each other. So why do you think only of your mother and father? Why do you have no wifely feelings?”

This so frightened the princess that she fell to her knees and said, “What makes you start talking as if you are going to get rid of me?”


Output:
“I’m not sure whether I’m getting rid of you or you’re getting rid of me,” the monster replied. “I captured that Tang Priest and brought him here to eat, but you released him without asking me first. You must have secretly written a letter and asked him to deliver it for you. There’s no other explanation for why these two monks should have made an attack on this place and be demanding your return. It’s all your fault, isn’t it?”

“Don’t blame me for this, my lord,” she replied. “I never wrote such a letter.”

“Liar,” he said. “I’ve captured one of my enemies to prove it.”

“Who?” she asked.

“Friar Sand, the Tang Priest’s second disciple.” Nobody likes to accept their death, even at their last gasp, so she could only try to keep up the pretence.


Output:
“Please don’t lose your temper, my lord,” she said. “Let’s go and ask him about it. If there really was a letter I’ll gladly let you kill me; but if there wasn’t, you’d be killing your slave unjustly.” With no further argument the monster grabbed her by her bejeweled hair with his fist the size of a basket and threw her to the floor in front of him. Then he seized his sword to question Friar Sand.

“Friar Sand,” he roared, “When you two had the impertinence to make your attack was it because the king of her country sent you here after getting a letter from her?”


Output: When the bound Friar Sand saw the evil spirit throw the princess to the ground in his fury then take hold of his sword to kill her, he thought, “It’s obvious she must have sent a letter. But she did us a very great favour by sparing our master. If I tell him about it, he’ll kill her. No, that would be a terrible thing to do after what she did for us. Besides, I haven’t done any good deeds all the time I have been with our master, so as a prisoner here I can pay back my master’s goodness to me with my life.”


Output: His mind made up, he shouted, “Behave yourself, evil monster. She sent no letter, so don’t you mistreat her or murder her. I’ll tell you why we came to demand the princess. When my master was your prisoner in this cave he saw what the princess looked like. Later on when he presented his credentials to the King of Elephantia, the king showed him her picture and asked him if he’d seen her on his journey. The king had this picture of her painted long ago, and made enquiries about her all over the place. My master told the king about her, and when he heard this news of his daughter the king gave us some of his imperial wine and sent us to bring her back to the palace. This is the truth. There was no letter. If you want to kill anybody, kill me, and don’t be so wicked as to slaughter an innocent woman.”


Output:
Impressed by Friar Sand’s noble words, the monster put aside his sword and took the princess in his arms, saying, “Please forgive me for being so boorishly rude.” Then he put her hair up again for her, and turning tender again, urged her to go inside with him. He asked her to take the seat of honour and apologized to her. In her female fickleness the princess was prompted by his excess of courtesy to think of an idea.

“My lord,” she said, “could you have Friar Sand’s bonds loosened a little for the sake of our love?” The old fiend ordered his underlings to untie Friar Sand and lock him up there instead.

On being untied and locked up, Friar Sand got up and thought, “The ancients said that a good turn to someone else is a good turn to yourself. If I hadn’t helped her out, she wouldn’t have had me untied.”


Output:
The old fiend then had a banquet laid on to calm his wife and make it up to her. When he had drunk himself fairly tipsy he put on a new robe and girded a sword to his waist. Then he fondled the princess and said, “You stay at home and drink, wife. Look after our two sons and don’t let Friar Sang get away. While the Tang Priest is in Elephantia I’m going to get to know my relations.”

“What relations?” she asked.

“Your father,” he replied. “I’m his son-in-law and he’s my father-in-law, so why shouldn’t we get acquainted?”

“You mustn’t go,” was her reply.

“Why not?” he asked.

“My father,” she answered, “didn’t win his country by force of arms; it was handed down to him by his ancestors. He came to the throne as a child and has never been far from the palace gates, so he’s never seen a tough guy like you. You are a bit on the hideous side with that face of yours, and it would be very bad if a visit from you terrified him. You’d do better not to go and meet him.”

“Then I’ll make myself handsome,” he said.


Output:
“Then I’ll make myself handsome,” he said.

“Try it and show me,” said the princess.

The splendid fiend shook himself, and in the middle of the banquet he changed himself into a handsome man.

Elegant he was, and tall.

He spoke like a high official,

His movements were those of a youth.

He was as brilliant as the poet Cao Zhi,

Handsome as Pan An to whom the women threw fruit.

On his head was a hat with magpie feathers,

To which the black clouds submitted;

He wore a robe of jade-coloured silk

With wide and billowing sleeves.

On his feet were black boots with patterned tops,

And at his waist hung a gleaming sword.

He was a most imposing man,

Tall, elegant and handsome.

The princess was thoroughly delighted at the sight of him. “Isn’t this a good transformation?” he asked her with a smile.


Output:
“Wonderful,” she replied, “wonderful. When you go to court like that the king will be bound to accept you as his son-in-law and make his civil and military officials give you a banquet, so if you have anything to drink you must be very careful not to show your real face—it wouldn’t do to let the secret out.”

“You don’t need to tell me that,” he said, “I understand perfectly well myself.”

He sprang away on his cloud and was soon in Elephantia, where he landed and walked to the palace gates. “Please report,” he said to the High Custodian of the gate, “that His Majesty’s third son-in-law has come for an audience.”

A eunuch messenger went to the steps of the throne and reported, “Your Majesty’s third son-in-law has come for an audience and is waiting for your summons outside the palace gates.” When the king, who was talking with Sanzang, heard the words “third son-in-law” he said to the assembled officials, “I only have two sons-in-law—there can’t be a third.”


Output:
“It must be that the monster has come,” the officials replied.

“Then should I send for him?” the king asked.

“Your Majesty,” said Sanzang in alarm, “he is an evil spirit, so we mortals can do nothing about him. He knows about the past and the future and rides on the clouds. He will come whether you send for him or not, so it would be better to send for him and avoid arguments.”

The king accepted the proposal and sent for him. The fiend came to the bottom of the steps and performed the usual ritual of dancing and chanting. His handsome looks prevented any of the officials from realizing that he was a demon; instead they took him in their mortal blindness for a good man. At the sight of his imposing figure the king thought that he would be a pillar and the savior of the state. “Son-in-law,” he asked him, “where do you live? Where are you from? When did you marry the princess? Why haven’t you come to see me before?”


Output:
“I come,” the monster replied, knocking his head on the ground, “from the Moon Waters Cave in Bowl Mountain.”

“How far is that from here?” asked the king.

“Not far,” he replied, “only a hundred miles.”

“If it’s a hundred miles away,” said the king, “how did the princess get there to marry you?”


Output: The monster gave a cunning and deceptive answer. “My lord,” he said, “I have been riding and shooting since childhood, and I support myself by hunting. Thirteen years ago as I was out hunting one day with falcons, hounds, and a few score retainers when I saw a ferocious striped tiger carrying a girl on its back down the mountainside. I fitted an arrow to my bow and shot the tiger, then took the girl home and revived her with hot water, which saved her life. When I asked her where she was from she never mentioned the word ‘princess’—had she said that she was Your Majesty’s daughter, I would never have had the effrontery to marry her without your permission. I would have come to your golden palace and asked for some appointment in which I might have distinguished myself. As she said she was the daughter of ordinary folk I kept her in my home. With her beauty and my ability we fell in love, and we have been married all these years. When we were married I wanted to kill the tiger and serve him up at a banquet


Output: to kill the tiger and serve him up at a banquet for all my relations, but she asked me not to. There was a verse that explained why I should not:


Output:
”‘Thanks to Heaven and Earth we are becoming man and wife;

We will marry without matchmaker or witnesses.

A red thread must have united us in a former life,

So let us make the tiger our matchmaker.’

“When she said that I untied the tiger and spared its life. The wounded beast swished its tail and was off. Little did I realize that after escaping with its life it would have spent the past years making itself into a spirit whose sole intention is to deceive and kill people. I believe that there was once a group of pilgrims going to fetch scriptures who said that they were priests from the Great Tang. The tiger must have killed their leader, taken his credentials, and made himself look like the pilgrim. He is now in this palace trying to deceive Your Majesty. That man sitting on an embroidered cushion is in fact the very tiger who carried the princess off thirteen years ago. He is no pilgrim.”


Output:
The feeble-minded king, who in his mortal blindness could not recognize the evil spirit, believed that his tissue of lies were the truth and said, “Noble son-in-law, how can you tell that this monk is the tiger who carried the princess off?”

“Living in the mountains,” he replied, “I eat tiger, dress in tiger, sleep amid tigers, and move among tigers. Of course I can tell.”

“Even if you can tell,” said the king, “turn him back into his real form to show me.”

“If I may borrow half a saucer of water,” answered the fiend, “I will turn him back into his real form.” The king sent an officer to fetch some water for his son-in-law. The monster put the water in his hand, leapt forward, and did an Eye-deceiving Body-fixing Spell. He recited the words of the spell, spurted a mouthful of water over the Tang Priest, and shouted “Change!” Sanzang’s real body was hidden away on top of the hall, and he was turned into a striped tiger. To the king’s mortal eyes the tiger had:

A white brow and a rounded head,


Output:
A white brow and a rounded head,

A patterned body and eyes of lightning.

Four legs,

Straight and tall;

Twenty claws,

Hooked and sharp.

Jagged fangs ringed his mouth,

Pointed ears grew from his brow.

Fierce and powerful, formed like a giant cat,

Wild and virile as a brown bull-calf.

His bristling whiskers shone like silver,

Acrid breath came from his spike tongue.

He was indeed a savage tiger

Whose majesty dominated the palace hall.


Output:
Whose majesty dominated the palace hall.

One look at him sent the king’s souls flying from his body, and all the officials fled in terror except for a handful of gallant generals. They charged the tiger at the head of a group of officers, hacking wildly with every kind of weapon. If the Tang Priest had not been fated to survive, even twenty of him would have been chopped to mince. Luckily for him the Six Dings, the Six Jias, the Revealers of the Truth, the Duty Gods, and the Protectors of the Faith were all protecting him in mid-air and preventing him from being wounded by any of the weapons. After a turmoil that continued until evening they finally caught the tiger, chained it, and put it in an iron cage in the room where officials waited for audience.


Output:
The king then ordered his household department to lay on a large banquet to thank his son-in-law for saving his daughter from being killed by the monk. That evening, when the court had been dismissed, the monster went to the Hall of Silvery Peace. Eighteen Palace Beauties and Junior Concubines had been selected, and they made music, sang and danced, urging the fiend to drink and be merry. The ogre sat alone in the seat of honour, and to left and right of him were all these voluptuous women. When he had been drinking until the second watch of the night he became too intoxicated to restrain his savagery and longer. He jumped up, bellowed with laughter, and turned back into his real self. A murderous impulse came upon him, and stretching out his hand as big as a basket he seized a girl who was playing a lute, dragged her towards him, and took a bite from her head. The seventeen other palace women fled in panic and hid themselves.

The Palace Beauties were terrified,

The Junior Concubines were panic-stricken.


Output:
The Junior Concubines were panic-stricken.

The terrified Palace Beauties

Were like lotuses beaten by the rain at night;

The panic-stricken Concubines

Were like peonies swaying in the spring breezes.

Smashing their lutes, they fled for their lives,

Trampling on zithers as they ran away.

As they went out through the doors they knew not where they went;

In their flight from the hall they rushed everywhere,

Damaging their faces of jade

And bumping their pretty heads.

Every one of them fled for her life;

All of them ran away to safety.

The women who had fled did not dare to shout as they did not want to disturb the king in the middle of the night, so they all hid trembling under the eaves of walls, where we shall leave them.


Output:
The monster, still in his seat of honour, thought for a moment then drank another bowl of wine, dragged the woman towards him, and took two more gory mouthfuls of her. While he was enjoying himself inside the palace the news was being spread outside that the Tang Priest was really a tiger spirit. The rumour spread like wildfire, and it soon reached the government hostel. Nobody else was there but the white horse, who was eating fodder from a trough. This horse had once been a young dragon prince from the Western Sea who as a punishment for offending against the Heavenly Code had lost his horns and scales and been turned into a white horse to carry Sanzang to the West to fetch the scriptures.

When he heard it being said that the Tang Priest was a tiger spirit he thought, “My master is clearly a good man. That evil spirit must have changed him into a tiger to harm him, whatever shall I do? Monkey’s been gone for ages, and there’s no news of the other two.” By the middle of the night he could wait no longer.


Output:
He jumped up and said, “If I don’t rescue the Tang Priest I’ll win no merit at all.” He could restrain himself no longer, so he snapped his halter, shook his bridle and girths loose, and changed himself back into a dragon. Then he went straight up on a black cloud to the Ninth Heaven. There is a poem to prove it that goes:

On his journey West to worship the Buddha

Sanzang met an evil demon.

Now that he had been changed into a tiger

The white horse came to his rescue, trailing its halter.


Output:
From up in the air the dragon saw the bright lights in the Hall of Silvery Peace, where eight wax candles were burning on eight great candlesticks. Bringing his cloud down for a closer look he saw the monster sitting by himself in the seat of honour and drinking as he ate human flesh. “Hopeless beast,” thought the dragon with a grin, “giving his game away like that. He’s broken the counterpoise of his steelyard—he has exposed himself! A man-eater can’t be a good fellow. Now I know what has happened to our master: he’s met this foul ogre. I’ll try to fool him. If it comes off there’s still time to rescue our master.”

With a shake the splendid dragon king turned himself into a slim and seductive Palace Beauty. Hurrying inside he greeted the ogre and said, “If you spare my life, Your Highness, I’ll hold your cup for you.”


Output:
“Pour me out more wine,” he said. The young dragon took the pot and used a Water-controlling Spell to fill his cup so full that the wine stood several inches higher than the rim without spilling.

The monster, who did not know this piece of magic, was delighted with the trick; and when the dragon asked, “Shall I fill it higher still?” he replied, “Yes, yes.” The dragon lifted the pot and poured and poured. The wine rose till it towered as tall as a thirteen-storied pagoda, and still hardly any spilled over. The ogre opened his mouth wide and swallowed the lot, then pulled the dead girl towards him and took another bite.

“Can you sing?” he asked, and the dragon replied, “Yes, in a way.” He sang a short song and handed the ogre another cup of wine.


Output:
“Can you dance?” the ogre asked. “Yes, in a way,” he replied, “but I can’t dance well empty-handed.” The ogre pushed his robe aside, brought out the sword he wore at his waist, unsheathed it, and handed it to the dragon, who took it and did a sword dance in front of the banqueting table.

As the monster gazed pop-eyed the dragon stopped dancing and hacked at his face. The ogre side-stepped and immediately seized a cast-iron lantern, that must have weighed a good hundredweight with its stand, with which to parry the sword. As the pair of them came out of the Hall of Silvery Peace, the dragon reverted to his true form and went up into mid-air on a cloud to continue the fight. It was a really vicious combat:

One was a monster born and bred on Bowl Mountain;

The other was an exiled dragon from the Western Sea.

One shone as if he were breathing out lightning;

The other’s vigor seemed to burst through the clouds.

One was like a white-tusked elephant in a crowd;


Output:
One was like a white-tusked elephant in a crowd;

The other was a golden-clawed wildcat leaping down to earth.

One was a pillar of jade, towering to heaven,

The other was one of the ocean’s golden beams.

The silver dragon danced,

The yellow monster soared,

As the blade cut tirelessly to left and right,

And the lantern flashed to and fro without a pause.

The old monster was as strong as ever, after eight or nine rounds of their battle in the clouds the young dragon was tiring and unable to keep up the fight, so he hurled his sword at the monster. The ogre used a magic trick to catch it, went for the helpless dragon, throwing the lantern at him and hitting him on the hind leg. The dragon brought his cloud straight down to earth, where the canal in the palace saved his life: once he had dived in, the ogre could not find him. Instead he went back to the Hall of Silvery Peace, clutching the sword and the candlestick. There he drank himself to sleep.


Output:
The dragon hid at the bottom of the canal for an hour, by which time all was quiet. Gritting his teeth against the pain from his leg, he leapt out of the water and went back to the hostel on a black cloud, where he turned himself back into a horse and bent over the trough once more. The poor animal was covered with sweat, and his leg was scarred.

The Thought-horse and the Mind-ape had scattered,

The Lord of Metal and the Mother of Wood were dispersed.

The Yellow Wife was damaged, her powers divided,

The Way was finished, and how could it be saved?


Output:
The Way was finished, and how could it be saved?

We will leave Sanzang in danger and the dragon in defeat to return to Pig who had been hiding in the undergrowth ever since he abandoned Friar Sand. He had made himself a pigsty there, and slept through to the middle of the night. When he woke up he could not remember where he was. He rubbed his eyes, pulled himself together, and cocked up his ear. In these wild mountains no dogs barked and no cocks crowed. From the position of the stars he worked out that it was around midnight, and thought, “I must go back and rescue Friar Sand. It’s all too true that ‘You cannot make thread with a single strand, or clap with a single had,’ No, no. I’d better go back to the city, see the master, and report on this to the king. He can give me some more brave soldiers to help me rescue Friar Sand.”


Output:
The idiot went back to the city on his cloud as fast as he could, and in an instant he was back at the hostel. It was a still, moonlit night, and he could not find his master in either wing of the building. There was only the white horse asleep there, his body covered in sweat, and with a greenish wound the size of a dish on his hind leg.

“This is double trouble,” thought Pig in horror. “Why is this wretch covered with sweat and injured on his leg? He hasn’t been anywhere. Some crooks must have carried off the master and wounded the horse.”

Seeing Pig, the horse suddenly called out, “Elder brother.” Pig collapsed from shock, got up again, and was about to flee when the horse took his clothes between his teeth and said, “Brother, don’t be afraid of me.”

“Why ever have you started to talk today?” asked Pig, who was shaking all over. “Something terrible must have happened to make you do it.”

“Do you know that our master is in danger?” the horse asked.

“No,” Pig replied.


Output: “You wouldn’t,” said the horse. “When you and Friar Sand were showing off in front of the king you thought you’d be able to catch the monster and be rewarded for it. Little did you imagine that his powers would be too much for you. You should be ashamed of the way you’ve come back by yourself without even having any news to report. That monster turned himself into a handsome scholar, came to the palace, and made the king accept him as his son-in-law. He changed our master into a tiger, who was captured by the officials and put in a cage in the court waiting room. The news made me feel as if my heart were being sliced to pieces. It was already two days since you two went, and for all I knew you might have been killed, so I had to turn back into a dragon and try to rescue our master. When I reached the court I couldn’t find him, though I saw the monster outside the Hall of Silvery Peace. I changed into a Palace Beauty to trick him. He made me do a sword dance for him, and when I had him fascinated I took a cut


Output: him, and when I had him fascinated I took a cut at him. He dodged the blow, picked up a giant lantern in both hands, and soon had me on the run. I flung my sword at him, but he caught it, and wounded me on the hind leg by throwing the lantern at me. I escaped with my life by hiding in the palace canal. The scar is where he hit me with the candlestick.”


Output:
“Is this all true?” asked Pig.

“Don’t think I’m trying to fool you,” said the dragon.

“What are we to do?” said Pig. “Can you move?”

“What if I can?” said the dragon.

“If you can move,” said Pig, “then make your way back to the sea: I’ll take the luggage back to Gao Village and be a married man again.” The dragon’s reaction to this was to bite hard on Pig’s tunic and not let him go. Tears rolled down his face as he said, “Please don’t give up, elder brother.”

“What else can I do but give up?” said Pig. “Friar Sand has been captured by him, and I can’t beat him, so what can we do but break up now?”

The dragon thought for a moment before replying, still in tears, “Don’t even talk about breaking up, brother. All you need do to rescue the master is to ask someone to come here.”

“Who?” asked Pig.


Output:
“Who?” asked Pig.

“Take a cloud back to the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit as fast as you can, and ask our eldest brother Monkey to come here. With his tremendous ability to beat demons he ought to be able to rescue the master and avenge your defeat.”

“Can’t we ask someone else?” said Pig. “He hasn’t been on the best of terms with me since he killed the White Bone Spirit on White Tiger Ridge. He’s angry with me for encouraging the master to say the Band-tightening Spell. I only meant it as a joke—how was I to know the old monk would really say it and drive him away? Goodness knows how furious he is with me. He definitely won’t come. I’m no match for him with my tongue, and if he’s disrespectful enough to hit me a few times with that murderous great cudgel of his, it’ll be the death of me.”


Output:
“Of course he won’t hit you,” said the dragon. “He’s a kind and decent Monkey King. When you see him don’t tell him that the master’s in trouble. Just say, ‘The master’s missing you.’ Once you’ve lured him here and he sees the situation he won’t possibly be angry. He’s bound to want to fight the monster. I guarantee that he’ll capture the monster and save our master.”

“Oh well,” said Pig, “oh well. As you’re so determined I’ll have to go, or else I’ll look half-hearted. If Monkey’s prepared to come, I’ll come back with him; but if he isn’t, then don’t expect me—I won’t be back.”

“Go,” said the dragon. “I promise he’ll come.”

The idiot picked up his rake, straightened his tunic, leapt up on a cloud, and headed East. Sanzang was fated to live. Pig had a following wind, so he stuck up his ears for sails and was at the Eastern Ocean in no time. He landed his cloud. Without his noticing it the sun rose as he made his way into the mountains.


Output:
As he was going along he suddenly heard voices. He looked carefully and saw Monkey in a mountain hollow with hordes of demons. He was perched on a rock, and in front of him over twelve hundred monkeys were drawn up in ranks and chanting, “Long live His Majesty the Great Sage.”

“He’s doing very nicely,” thought Pig, “very nicely indeed. No wonder he wanted to come home instead of staying a monk. He has it really nice here, with a big place like this and all those little monkeys at his beck and call. If I’d had a mountain like this I’d never have become a monk. But what am I to do now I’m here? I must go and see him.” As he was rather overawed, Pig did not dare walk boldly over to see him. Instead he made his way round a grassy cliff, slipped in among the twelve hundred monkeys, and started to kowtow with them.


Output:
Little did he expect that the sharp-eyed Monkey would see him from his high throne and say, “There’s a foreigner bowing all wrong among the ranks. Where’s he from? Bring him here.” The words were hardly out of his mouth before some junior monkeys swarmed round him, shoved him forward, and threw him to the ground. “Where are you from, foreigner?” asked Monkey.

“If I may be permitted to argue,” replied Pig, his head bowed, “I’m no foreigner, I’m an old friend of yours.”

“All my monkey hordes look exactly the same,” replied the Great Sage, “but from the look of your stupid face you must be an evil demon from somewhere else. Never mind though. If, as an outsider, you want to join my ranks you must first hand in a curriculum vitae and tell us your name before we can put you on the books. If I don’t take you on, you’ve no business to be bowing to me like a madman.”


Output:
Pig put his arms round his head, which he still kept low, and replied, “I’m sorry. It’s an ugly mug. But you and I were brothers for several years; you can’t pretend not to recognize me and say that I’m a foreigner.”

“Raise your head,” said Monkey.

The idiot did so and said, “Look, even if you won’t recognize the rest of me, you’ll remember my face.”

“Pig!” said Monkey with a smile. When Pig heard this he leapt to his feet and said, “Yes, yes. I’m Pig,” thinking that Monkey would be easier to deal with now he had recognized him.

“Why have you come here instead of going to fetch the scriptures with the Tang Priest?” Monkey asked. “Have you offended the master and been sent back too? Show me your letter of dismissal.”

“I haven’t offended him,” Pig replied. “He hasn’t given me a letter of dismissal, or driven me away.”


Output:
“Then why have you come here?” asked Monkey. “The master sent me here to ask you back as he’s missing you,” answered Pig. “He hasn’t asked me back,” said Monkey, “and he doesn’t miss me. He swore an oath by Heaven and wrote a letter of dismissal, so he couldn’t possibly miss me or have sent you all this way to ask me back. It certainly wouldn’t be right for me to go.”

“He’s really missing you,” said Pig, lying desperately, “he really is.”

“Why?” asked Monkey.

“He called out ‘disciple’ when he was riding along. I didn’t hear, and Friar Sand is deaf, so he started missing you and saying that we two were hopeless. He said that you were intelligent and clever, and that you always answered whenever he called. This made him miss you so badly that he sent me over here specially to ask you to come back. Please, please come back with me. You’ll save him from disappointment and me from a long, wasted journey.”


Output:
Monkey jumped down from his rock, lifted Pig to his feet, and said, “Dear brother, it’s been good of you to come so far. Won’t you come and take a look round with me?”

“It’s been a long journey,” replied Pig, “and I’m afraid that the master would miss me, so I’d better not.”

“Now that you’re here,” said Monkey, “you really should have a look at my mountain.” Not wanting to insist too hard, the idiot went off with him.

The two of them walked hand in hand with the monkey horde following behind as they climbed to the summit of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit. It was a beautiful mountain. In the few days since he had been back, Monkey had made it as neat as it ever had been.

It was as green as flakes of malachite,

So high it touched the clouds.

All around it tigers crouched and dragons coiled,

Amid the calls of apes and cranes.

In the morning the peak was covered with cloud,

The evening sun would set between the trees.

The streams splashed like a tinkle of jade,


Output:
The streams splashed like a tinkle of jade,

Waterfalls tumbled with the sound of lutes.

In the front of the mountain were cliffs and rock-faces

At the back were luxuriant plants and trees.

Above it reached to the Jade Girl’s washing bowl,

Below it jointed the watershed of the River of Heaven.

In its combination of Earth and Heaven it rivaled the Penglai paradise;

Its blend of pure and solid made it a true cave palace.

It defied a painter’s brush and colours;

Even a master could not have drawn it.

Intricate were the strange-shaped boulders,

Adorning the mountain peak.

In the sun’s shadow shimmered a purple light;

A magical glow shone red throughout the sea of clouds.

Cave-heavens and paradises do exist on Earth,

Where the whole mountainside is covered with fresh trees and new blossoms.

As Pig gazed at it he said with delight, “What a wonderful place, brother. It’s the finest mountain in the world.”

“Could you get by here?” asked Monkey.