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VII |
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It was when curiosity about Gatsby was at its highest that the lights |
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in his house failed to go on one Saturday night—and, as obscurely as |
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it had begun, his career as Trimalchio was over. Only gradually did I |
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become aware that the automobiles which turned expectantly into his |
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drive stayed for just a minute and then drove sulkily away. Wondering |
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if he were sick I went over to find out—an unfamiliar butler with a |
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villainous face squinted at me suspiciously from the door. |
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“Is Mr. Gatsby sick?” |
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“Nope.” After a pause he added “sir” in a dilatory, grudging way. |
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“I hadn’t seen him around, and I was rather worried. Tell him Mr. |
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Carraway came over.” |
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“Who?” he demanded rudely. |
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“Carraway.” |
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“Carraway. All right, I’ll tell him.” |
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Abruptly he slammed the door. |
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My Finn informed me that Gatsby had dismissed every servant in his |
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house a week ago and replaced them with half a dozen others, who never |
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went into West Egg village to be bribed by the tradesmen, but ordered |
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moderate supplies over the telephone. The grocery boy reported that |
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the kitchen looked like a pigsty, and the general opinion in the |
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village was that the new people weren’t servants at all. |
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Next day Gatsby called me on the phone. |
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“Going away?” I inquired. |
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“No, old sport.” |
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“I hear you fired all your servants.” |
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“I wanted somebody who wouldn’t gossip. Daisy comes over quite |
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often—in the afternoons.” |
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So the whole caravansary had fallen in like a card house at the |
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disapproval in her eyes. |
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“They’re some people Wolfshiem wanted to do something for. They’re all |
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brothers and sisters. They used to run a small hotel.” |
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“I see.” |
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He was calling up at Daisy’s request—would I come to lunch at her |
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house tomorrow? Miss Baker would be there. Half an hour later Daisy |
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herself telephoned and seemed relieved to find that I was |
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coming. Something was up. And yet I couldn’t believe that they would |
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choose this occasion for a scene—especially for the rather harrowing |
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scene that Gatsby had outlined in the garden. |
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The next day was broiling, almost the last, certainly the warmest, of |
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the summer. As my train emerged from the tunnel into sunlight, only |
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the hot whistles of the National Biscuit Company broke the simmering |
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hush at noon. The straw seats of the car hovered on the edge of |
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combustion; the woman next to me perspired delicately for a while into |
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her white shirtwaist, and then, as her newspaper dampened under her |
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fingers, lapsed despairingly into deep heat with a desolate cry. Her |
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pocketbook slapped to the floor. |
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“Oh, my!” she gasped. |
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I picked it up with a weary bend and handed it back to her, holding it |
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at arm’s length and by the extreme tip of the corners to indicate that |
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I had no designs upon it—but everyone near by, including the woman, |
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suspected me just the same. |
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“Hot!” said the conductor to familiar faces. “Some weather! … Hot! … |
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Hot! … Hot! … Is it hot enough for you? Is it hot? Is it … ?” |
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My commutation ticket came back to me with a dark stain from his hand. |
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That anyone should care in this heat whose flushed lips he kissed, |
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whose head made damp the pyjama pocket over his heart! |
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|
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… Through the hall of the Buchanans’ house blew a faint wind, carrying |
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the sound of the telephone bell out to Gatsby and me as we waited at |
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the door. |
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“The master’s body?” roared the butler into the mouthpiece. “I’m |
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sorry, madame, but we can’t furnish it—it’s far too hot to touch this |
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noon!” |
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What he really said was: “Yes … Yes … I’ll see.” |
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He set down the receiver and came toward us, glistening slightly, to |
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take our stiff straw hats. |
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“Madame expects you in the salon!” he cried, needlessly indicating the |
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direction. In this heat every extra gesture was an affront to the |
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common store of life. |
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The room, shadowed well with awnings, was dark and cool. Daisy and |
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Jordan lay upon an enormous couch, like silver idols weighing down |
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their own white dresses against the singing breeze of the fans. |
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“We can’t move,” they said together. |
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Jordan’s fingers, powdered white over their tan, rested for a moment |
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in mine. |
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“And Mr. Thomas Buchanan, the athlete?” I inquired. |
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Simultaneously I heard his voice, gruff, muffled, husky, at the hall |
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telephone. |
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Gatsby stood in the centre of the crimson carpet and gazed around with |
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fascinated eyes. Daisy watched him and laughed, her sweet, exciting |
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laugh; a tiny gust of powder rose from her bosom into the air. |
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“The rumour is,” whispered Jordan, “that that’s Tom’s girl on the |
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telephone.” |
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We were silent. The voice in the hall rose high with annoyance: “Very |
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well, then, I won’t sell you the car at all … I’m under no obligations |
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to you at all … and as for your bothering me about it at lunch time, I |
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won’t stand that at all!” |
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“Holding down the receiver,” said Daisy cynically. |
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“No, he’s not,” I assured her. “It’s a bona-fide deal. I happen to |
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know about it.” |
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Tom flung open the door, blocked out its space for a moment with his |
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thick body, and hurried into the room. |
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|
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“Mr. Gatsby!” He put out his broad, flat hand with well-concealed |
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dislike. “I’m glad to see you, sir … Nick …” |
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“Make us a cold drink,” cried Daisy. |
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As he left the room again she got up and went over to Gatsby and |
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pulled his face down, kissing him on the mouth. |
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“You know I love you,” she murmured. |
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“You forget there’s a lady present,” said Jordan. |
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Daisy looked around doubtfully. |
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“You kiss Nick too.” |
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“What a low, vulgar girl!” |
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“I don’t care!” cried Daisy, and began to clog on the brick fireplace. |
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Then she remembered the heat and sat down guiltily on the couch just |
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as a freshly laundered nurse leading a little girl came into the room. |
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“Bles-sed pre-cious,” she crooned, holding out her arms. “Come to your |
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own mother that loves you.” |
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The child, relinquished by the nurse, rushed across the room and |
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rooted shyly into her mother’s dress. |
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“The bles-sed pre-cious! Did mother get powder on your old yellowy |
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hair? Stand up now, and say—How-de-do.” |
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Gatsby and I in turn leaned down and took the small reluctant hand. |
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Afterward he kept looking at the child with surprise. I don’t think he |
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had ever really believed in its existence before. |
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“I got dressed before luncheon,” said the child, turning eagerly to |
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Daisy. |
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“That’s because your mother wanted to show you off.” Her face bent |
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into the single wrinkle of the small white neck. “You dream, you. You |
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absolute little dream.” |
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“Yes,” admitted the child calmly. “Aunt Jordan’s got on a white dress |
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too.” |
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“How do you like mother’s friends?” Daisy turned her around so that |
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she faced Gatsby. “Do you think they’re pretty?” |
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“Where’s Daddy?” |
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“She doesn’t look like her father,” explained Daisy. “She looks like |
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me. She’s got my hair and shape of the face.” |
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Daisy sat back upon the couch. The nurse took a step forward and held |
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out her hand. |
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“Come, Pammy.” |
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“Goodbye, sweetheart!” |
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With a reluctant backward glance the well-disciplined child held to |
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her nurse’s hand and was pulled out the door, just as Tom came back, |
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preceding four gin rickeys that clicked full of ice. |
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Gatsby took up his drink. |
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“They certainly look cool,” he said, with visible tension. |
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We drank in long, greedy swallows. |
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“I read somewhere that the sun’s getting hotter every year,” said Tom |
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genially. “It seems that pretty soon the earth’s going to fall into |
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the sun—or wait a minute—it’s just the opposite—the sun’s getting |
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colder every year. |
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“Come outside,” he suggested to Gatsby, “I’d like you to have a look |
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at the place.” |
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I went with them out to the veranda. On the green Sound, stagnant in |
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the heat, one small sail crawled slowly toward the fresher sea. |
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Gatsby’s eyes followed it momentarily; he raised his hand and pointed |
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across the bay. |
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“I’m right across from you.” |
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“So you are.” |
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Our eyes lifted over the rose-beds and the hot lawn and the weedy |
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refuse of the dog-days alongshore. Slowly the white wings of the boat |
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moved against the blue cool limit of the sky. Ahead lay the scalloped |
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ocean and the abounding blessed isles. |
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“There’s sport for you,” said Tom, nodding. “I’d like to be out there |
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with him for about an hour.” |
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We had luncheon in the dining-room, darkened too against the heat, and |
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drank down nervous gaiety with the cold ale. |
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“What’ll we do with ourselves this afternoon?” cried Daisy, “and the |
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day after that, and the next thirty years?” |
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“Don’t be morbid,” Jordan said. “Life starts all over again when it |
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gets crisp in the fall.” |
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“But it’s so hot,” insisted Daisy, on the verge of tears, “and |
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everything’s so confused. Let’s all go to town!” |
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Her voice struggled on through the heat, beating against it, moulding |
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its senselessness into forms. |
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“I’ve heard of making a garage out of a stable,” Tom was saying to |
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Gatsby, “but I’m the first man who ever made a stable out of a |
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garage.” |
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“Who wants to go to town?” demanded Daisy insistently. Gatsby’s eyes |
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floated toward her. “Ah,” she cried, “you look so cool.” |
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Their eyes met, and they stared together at each other, alone in |
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space. With an effort she glanced down at the table. |
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“You always look so cool,” she repeated. |
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She had told him that she loved him, and Tom Buchanan saw. He was |
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astounded. His mouth opened a little, and he looked at Gatsby, and |
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then back at Daisy as if he had just recognized her as someone he knew |
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a long time ago. |
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“You resemble the advertisement of the man,” she went on innocently. |
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“You know the advertisement of the man—” |
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“All right,” broke in Tom quickly, “I’m perfectly willing to go to |
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town. Come on—we’re all going to town.” |
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He got up, his eyes still flashing between Gatsby and his wife. No one |
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moved. |
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“Come on!” His temper cracked a little. “What’s the matter, anyhow? |
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If we’re going to town, let’s start.” |
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His hand, trembling with his effort at self-control, bore to his lips |
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the last of his glass of ale. Daisy’s voice got us to our feet and out |
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on to the blazing gravel drive. |
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“Are we just going to go?” she objected. “Like this? Aren’t we going |
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to let anyone smoke a cigarette first?” |
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“Everybody smoked all through lunch.” |
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“Oh, let’s have fun,” she begged him. “It’s too hot to fuss.” |
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He didn’t answer. |
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“Have it your own way,” she said. “Come on, Jordan.” |
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They went upstairs to get ready while we three men stood there |
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shuffling the hot pebbles with our feet. A silver curve of the moon |
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hovered already in the western sky. Gatsby started to speak, changed |
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his mind, but not before Tom wheeled and faced him expectantly. |
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“Have you got your stables here?” asked Gatsby with an effort. |
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“About a quarter of a mile down the road.” |
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“Oh.” |
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A pause. |
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“I don’t see the idea of going to town,” broke out Tom savagely. |
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“Women get these notions in their heads—” |
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“Shall we take anything to drink?” called Daisy from an upper window. |
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“I’ll get some whisky,” answered Tom. He went inside. |
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Gatsby turned to me rigidly: |
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“I can’t say anything in his house, old sport.” |
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“She’s got an indiscreet voice,” I remarked. “It’s full of—” I |
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hesitated. |
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“Her voice is full of money,” he said suddenly. |
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That was it. I’d never understood before. It was full of money—that |
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was the inexhaustible charm that rose and fell in it, the jingle of |
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it, the cymbals’ song of it … High in a white palace the king’s |
|
daughter, the golden girl … |
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Tom came out of the house wrapping a quart bottle in a towel, followed |
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by Daisy and Jordan wearing small tight hats of metallic cloth and |
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carrying light capes over their arms. |
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“Shall we all go in my car?” suggested Gatsby. He felt the hot, green |
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leather of the seat. “I ought to have left it in the shade.” |
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“Is it standard shift?” demanded Tom. |
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“Yes.” |
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“Well, you take my coupé and let me drive your car to town.” |
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The suggestion was distasteful to Gatsby. |
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“I don’t think there’s much gas,” he objected. |
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“Plenty of gas,” said Tom boisterously. He looked at the gauge. “And |
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if it runs out I can stop at a drugstore. You can buy anything at a |
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drugstore nowadays.” |
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A pause followed this apparently pointless remark. Daisy looked at Tom |
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frowning, and an indefinable expression, at once definitely unfamiliar |
|
and vaguely recognizable, as if I had only heard it described in |
|
words, passed over Gatsby’s face. |
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“Come on, Daisy” said Tom, pressing her with his hand toward Gatsby’s |
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car. “I’ll take you in this circus wagon.” |
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He opened the door, but she moved out from the circle of his arm. |
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“You take Nick and Jordan. We’ll follow you in the coupé.” |
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She walked close to Gatsby, touching his coat with her hand. Jordan |
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and Tom and I got into the front seat of Gatsby’s car, Tom pushed the |
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unfamiliar gears tentatively, and we shot off into the oppressive |
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heat, leaving them out of sight behind. |
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“Did you see that?” demanded Tom. |
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“See what?” |
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He looked at me keenly, realizing that Jordan and I must have known |
|
all along. |
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“You think I’m pretty dumb, don’t you?” he suggested. “Perhaps I am, |
|
but I have a—almost a second sight, sometimes, that tells me what to |
|
do. Maybe you don’t believe that, but science—” |
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He paused. The immediate contingency overtook him, pulled him back |
|
from the edge of theoretical abyss. |
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“I’ve made a small investigation of this fellow,” he continued. “I |
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could have gone deeper if I’d known—” |
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“Do you mean you’ve been to a medium?” inquired Jordan humorously. |
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“What?” Confused, he stared at us as we laughed. “A medium?” |
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“About Gatsby.” |
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“About Gatsby! No, I haven’t. I said I’d been making a small |
|
investigation of his past.” |
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“And you found he was an Oxford man,” said Jordan helpfully. |
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“An Oxford man!” He was incredulous. “Like hell he is! He wears a pink |
|
suit.” |
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“Nevertheless he’s an Oxford man.” |
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“Oxford, New Mexico,” snorted Tom contemptuously, “or something like |
|
that.” |
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“Listen, Tom. If you’re such a snob, why did you invite him to lunch?” |
|
demanded Jordan crossly. |
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“Daisy invited him; she knew him before we were married—God knows |
|
where!” |
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We were all irritable now with the fading ale, and aware of it we |
|
drove for a while in silence. Then as Doctor T. J. Eckleburg’s faded |
|
eyes came into sight down the road, I remembered Gatsby’s caution |
|
about gasoline. |
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“We’ve got enough to get us to town,” said Tom. |
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“But there’s a garage right here,” objected Jordan. “I don’t want to |
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get stalled in this baking heat.” |
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Tom threw on both brakes impatiently, and we slid to an abrupt dusty |
|
stop under Wilson’s sign. After a moment the proprietor emerged from |
|
the interior of his establishment and gazed hollow-eyed at the car. |
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|
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“Let’s have some gas!” cried Tom roughly. “What do you think we |
|
stopped for—to admire the view?” |
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“I’m sick,” said Wilson without moving. “Been sick all day.” |
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“What’s the matter?” |
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“I’m all run down.” |
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“Well, shall I help myself?” Tom demanded. “You sounded well enough on |
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the phone.” |
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|
With an effort Wilson left the shade and support of the doorway and, |
|
breathing hard, unscrewed the cap of the tank. In the sunlight his |
|
face was green. |
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“I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch,” he said. “But I need money |
|
pretty bad, and I was wondering what you were going to do with your |
|
old car.” |
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“How do you like this one?” inquired Tom. “I bought it last week.” |
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“It’s a nice yellow one,” said Wilson, as he strained at the handle. |
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“Like to buy it?” |
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“Big chance,” Wilson smiled faintly. “No, but I could make some money |
|
on the other.” |
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|
“What do you want money for, all of a sudden?” |
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|
“I’ve been here too long. I want to get away. My wife and I want to go |
|
West.” |
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“Your wife does,” exclaimed Tom, startled. |
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|
“She’s been talking about it for ten years.” He rested for a moment |
|
against the pump, shading his eyes. “And now she’s going whether she |
|
wants to or not. I’m going to get her away.” |
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|
|
The coupé flashed by us with a flurry of dust and the flash of a |
|
waving hand. |
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|
“What do I owe you?” demanded Tom harshly. |
|
|
|
“I just got wised up to something funny the last two days,” remarked |
|
Wilson. “That’s why I want to get away. That’s why I been bothering |
|
you about the car.” |
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|
“What do I owe you?” |
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|
|
“Dollar twenty.” |
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|
|
The relentless beating heat was beginning to confuse me and I had a |
|
bad moment there before I realized that so far his suspicions hadn’t |
|
alighted on Tom. He had discovered that Myrtle had some sort of life |
|
apart from him in another world, and the shock had made him physically |
|
sick. I stared at him and then at Tom, who had made a parallel |
|
discovery less than an hour before—and it occurred to me that there |
|
was no difference between men, in intelligence or race, so profound as |
|
the difference between the sick and the well. Wilson was so sick that |
|
he looked guilty, unforgivably guilty—as if he had just got some poor |
|
girl with child. |
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|
|
“I’ll let you have that car,” said Tom. “I’ll send it over tomorrow |
|
afternoon.” |
|
|
|
That locality was always vaguely disquieting, even in the broad glare |
|
of afternoon, and now I turned my head as though I had been warned of |
|
something behind. Over the ash-heaps the giant eyes of Doctor T. J. |
|
Eckleburg kept their vigil, but I perceived, after a moment, that |
|
other eyes were regarding us with peculiar intensity from less than |
|
twenty feet away. |
|
|
|
In one of the windows over the garage the curtains had been moved |
|
aside a little, and Myrtle Wilson was peering down at the car. So |
|
engrossed was she that she had no consciousness of being observed, and |
|
one emotion after another crept into her face like objects into a |
|
slowly developing picture. Her expression was curiously familiar—it |
|
was an expression I had often seen on women’s faces, but on Myrtle |
|
Wilson’s face it seemed purposeless and inexplicable until I realized |
|
that her eyes, wide with jealous terror, were fixed not on Tom, but on |
|
Jordan Baker, whom she took to be his wife. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
There is no confusion like the confusion of a simple mind, and as we |
|
drove away Tom was feeling the hot whips of panic. His wife and his |
|
mistress, until an hour ago secure and inviolate, were slipping |
|
precipitately from his control. Instinct made him step on the |
|
accelerator with the double purpose of overtaking Daisy and leaving |
|
Wilson behind, and we sped along toward Astoria at fifty miles an |
|
hour, until, among the spidery girders of the elevated, we came in |
|
sight of the easygoing blue coupé. |
|
|
|
“Those big movies around Fiftieth Street are cool,” suggested |
|
Jordan. “I love New York on summer afternoons when everyone’s away. |
|
There’s something very sensuous about it—overripe, as if all sorts of |
|
funny fruits were going to fall into your hands.” |
|
|
|
The word “sensuous” had the effect of further disquieting Tom, but |
|
before he could invent a protest the coupé came to a stop, and Daisy |
|
signalled us to draw up alongside. |
|
|
|
“Where are we going?” she cried. |
|
|
|
“How about the movies?” |
|
|
|
“It’s so hot,” she complained. “You go. We’ll ride around and meet you |
|
after.” With an effort her wit rose faintly. “We’ll meet you on some |
|
corner. I’ll be the man smoking two cigarettes.” |
|
|
|
“We can’t argue about it here,” Tom said impatiently, as a truck gave |
|
out a cursing whistle behind us. “You follow me to the south side of |
|
Central Park, in front of the Plaza.” |
|
|
|
Several times he turned his head and looked back for their car, and if |
|
the traffic delayed them he slowed up until they came into sight. I |
|
think he was afraid they would dart down a side-street and out of his |
|
life forever. |
|
|
|
But they didn’t. And we all took the less explicable step of engaging |
|
the parlour of a suite in the Plaza Hotel. |
|
|
|
The prolonged and tumultuous argument that ended by herding us into |
|
that room eludes me, though I have a sharp physical memory that, in |
|
the course of it, my underwear kept climbing like a damp snake around |
|
my legs and intermittent beads of sweat raced cool across my back. |
|
The notion originated with Daisy’s suggestion that we hire five |
|
bathrooms and take cold baths, and then assumed more tangible form as |
|
“a place to have a mint julep.” Each of us said over and over that it |
|
was a “crazy idea”—we all talked at once to a baffled clerk and |
|
thought, or pretended to think, that we were being very funny … |
|
|
|
The room was large and stifling, and, though it was already four |
|
o’clock, opening the windows admitted only a gust of hot shrubbery |
|
from the Park. Daisy went to the mirror and stood with her back to us, |
|
fixing her hair. |
|
|
|
“It’s a swell suite,” whispered Jordan respectfully, and everyone |
|
laughed. |
|
|
|
“Open another window,” commanded Daisy, without turning around. |
|
|
|
“There aren’t any more.” |
|
|
|
“Well, we’d better telephone for an axe—” |
|
|
|
“The thing to do is to forget about the heat,” said Tom impatiently. |
|
“You make it ten times worse by crabbing about it.” |
|
|
|
He unrolled the bottle of whisky from the towel and put it on the |
|
table. |
|
|
|
“Why not let her alone, old sport?” remarked Gatsby. “You’re the one |
|
that wanted to come to town.” |
|
|
|
There was a moment of silence. The telephone book slipped from its |
|
nail and splashed to the floor, whereupon Jordan whispered, “Excuse |
|
me”—but this time no one laughed. |
|
|
|
“I’ll pick it up,” I offered. |
|
|
|
“I’ve got it.” Gatsby examined the parted string, muttered “Hum!” in |
|
an interested way, and tossed the book on a chair. |
|
|
|
“That’s a great expression of yours, isn’t it?” said Tom sharply. |
|
|
|
“What is?” |
|
|
|
“All this ‘old sport’ business. Where’d you pick that up?” |
|
|
|
“Now see here, Tom,” said Daisy, turning around from the mirror, “if |
|
you’re going to make personal remarks I won’t stay here a minute. |
|
Call up and order some ice for the mint julep.” |
|
|
|
As Tom took up the receiver the compressed heat exploded into sound |
|
and we were listening to the portentous chords of Mendelssohn’s |
|
Wedding March from the ballroom below. |
|
|
|
“Imagine marrying anybody in this heat!” cried Jordan dismally. |
|
|
|
“Still—I was married in the middle of June,” Daisy remembered. |
|
“Louisville in June! Somebody fainted. Who was it fainted, Tom?” |
|
|
|
“Biloxi,” he answered shortly. |
|
|
|
“A man named Biloxi. ‘Blocks’ Biloxi, and he made boxes—that’s a |
|
fact—and he was from Biloxi, Tennessee.” |
|
|
|
“They carried him into my house,” appended Jordan, “because we lived |
|
just two doors from the church. And he stayed three weeks, until Daddy |
|
told him he had to get out. The day after he left Daddy died.” After |
|
a moment she added. “There wasn’t any connection.” |
|
|
|
“I used to know a Bill Biloxi from Memphis,” I remarked. |
|
|
|
“That was his cousin. I knew his whole family history before he |
|
left. He gave me an aluminium putter that I use today.” |
|
|
|
The music had died down as the ceremony began and now a long cheer |
|
floated in at the window, followed by intermittent cries of |
|
“Yea—ea—ea!” and finally by a burst of jazz as the dancing began. |
|
|
|
“We’re getting old,” said Daisy. “If we were young we’d rise and |
|
dance.” |
|
|
|
“Remember Biloxi,” Jordan warned her. “Where’d you know him, Tom?” |
|
|
|
“Biloxi?” He concentrated with an effort. “I didn’t know him. He was a |
|
friend of Daisy’s.” |
|
|
|
“He was not,” she denied. “I’d never seen him before. He came down in |
|
the private car.” |
|
|
|
“Well, he said he knew you. He said he was raised in Louisville. Asa |
|
Bird brought him around at the last minute and asked if we had room |
|
for him.” |
|
|
|
Jordan smiled. |
|
|
|
“He was probably bumming his way home. He told me he was president of |
|
your class at Yale.” |
|
|
|
Tom and I looked at each other blankly. |
|
|
|
“Biloxi?” |
|
|
|
“First place, we didn’t have any president—” |
|
|
|
Gatsby’s foot beat a short, restless tattoo and Tom eyed him suddenly. |
|
|
|
“By the way, Mr. Gatsby, I understand you’re an Oxford man.” |
|
|
|
“Not exactly.” |
|
|
|
“Oh, yes, I understand you went to Oxford.” |
|
|
|
“Yes—I went there.” |
|
|
|
A pause. Then Tom’s voice, incredulous and insulting: |
|
|
|
“You must have gone there about the time Biloxi went to New Haven.” |
|
|
|
Another pause. A waiter knocked and came in with crushed mint and ice |
|
but the silence was unbroken by his “thank you” and the soft closing |
|
of the door. This tremendous detail was to be cleared up at last. |
|
|
|
“I told you I went there,” said Gatsby. |
|
|
|
“I heard you, but I’d like to know when.” |
|
|
|
“It was in nineteen-nineteen, I only stayed five months. That’s why I |
|
can’t really call myself an Oxford man.” |
|
|
|
Tom glanced around to see if we mirrored his unbelief. But we were all |
|
looking at Gatsby. |
|
|
|
“It was an opportunity they gave to some of the officers after the |
|
armistice,” he continued. “We could go to any of the universities in |
|
England or France.” |
|
|
|
I wanted to get up and slap him on the back. I had one of those |
|
renewals of complete faith in him that I’d experienced before. |
|
|
|
Daisy rose, smiling faintly, and went to the table. |
|
|
|
“Open the whisky, Tom,” she ordered, “and I’ll make you a mint julep. |
|
Then you won’t seem so stupid to yourself … Look at the mint!” |
|
|
|
“Wait a minute,” snapped Tom, “I want to ask Mr. Gatsby one more |
|
question.” |
|
|
|
“Go on,” Gatsby said politely. |
|
|
|
“What kind of a row are you trying to cause in my house anyhow?” |
|
|
|
They were out in the open at last and Gatsby was content. |
|
|
|
“He isn’t causing a row,” Daisy looked desperately from one to the |
|
other. “You’re causing a row. Please have a little self-control.” |
|
|
|
“Self-control!” repeated Tom incredulously. “I suppose the latest |
|
thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your |
|
wife. Well, if that’s the idea you can count me out … Nowadays people |
|
begin by sneering at family life and family institutions, and next |
|
they’ll throw everything overboard and have intermarriage between |
|
black and white.” |
|
|
|
Flushed with his impassioned gibberish, he saw himself standing alone |
|
on the last barrier of civilization. |
|
|
|
“We’re all white here,” murmured Jordan. |
|
|
|
“I know I’m not very popular. I don’t give big parties. I suppose |
|
you’ve got to make your house into a pigsty in order to have any |
|
friends—in the modern world.” |
|
|
|
Angry as I was, as we all were, I was tempted to laugh whenever he |
|
opened his mouth. The transition from libertine to prig was so |
|
complete. |
|
|
|
“I’ve got something to tell you, old sport—” began Gatsby. But Daisy |
|
guessed at his intention. |
|
|
|
“Please don’t!” she interrupted helplessly. “Please let’s all go |
|
home. Why don’t we all go home?” |
|
|
|
“That’s a good idea,” I got up. “Come on, Tom. Nobody wants a drink.” |
|
|
|
“I want to know what Mr. Gatsby has to tell me.” |
|
|
|
“Your wife doesn’t love you,” said Gatsby. “She’s never loved you. |
|
She loves me.” |
|
|
|
“You must be crazy!” exclaimed Tom automatically. |
|
|
|
Gatsby sprang to his feet, vivid with excitement. |
|
|
|
“She never loved you, do you hear?” he cried. “She only married you |
|
because I was poor and she was tired of waiting for me. It was a |
|
terrible mistake, but in her heart she never loved anyone except me!” |
|
|
|
At this point Jordan and I tried to go, but Tom and Gatsby insisted |
|
with competitive firmness that we remain—as though neither of them had |
|
anything to conceal and it would be a privilege to partake vicariously |
|
of their emotions. |
|
|
|
“Sit down, Daisy,” Tom’s voice groped unsuccessfully for the paternal |
|
note. “What’s been going on? I want to hear all about it.” |
|
|
|
“I told you what’s been going on,” said Gatsby. “Going on for five |
|
years—and you didn’t know.” |
|
|
|
Tom turned to Daisy sharply. |
|
|
|
“You’ve been seeing this fellow for five years?” |
|
|
|
“Not seeing,” said Gatsby. “No, we couldn’t meet. But both of us loved |
|
each other all that time, old sport, and you didn’t know. I used to |
|
laugh sometimes”—but there was no laughter in his eyes—“to think that |
|
you didn’t know.” |
|
|
|
“Oh—that’s all.” Tom tapped his thick fingers together like a |
|
clergyman and leaned back in his chair. |
|
|
|
“You’re crazy!” he exploded. “I can’t speak about what happened five |
|
years ago, because I didn’t know Daisy then—and I’ll be damned if I |
|
see how you got within a mile of her unless you brought the groceries |
|
to the back door. But all the rest of that’s a God damned lie. Daisy |
|
loved me when she married me and she loves me now.” |
|
|
|
“No,” said Gatsby, shaking his head. |
|
|
|
“She does, though. The trouble is that sometimes she gets foolish |
|
ideas in her head and doesn’t know what she’s doing.” He nodded |
|
sagely. “And what’s more, I love Daisy too. Once in a while I go off |
|
on a spree and make a fool of myself, but I always come back, and in |
|
my heart I love her all the time.” |
|
|
|
“You’re revolting,” said Daisy. She turned to me, and her voice, |
|
dropping an octave lower, filled the room with thrilling scorn: “Do |
|
you know why we left Chicago? I’m surprised that they didn’t treat you |
|
to the story of that little spree.” |
|
|
|
Gatsby walked over and stood beside her. |
|
|
|
“Daisy, that’s all over now,” he said earnestly. “It doesn’t matter |
|
any more. Just tell him the truth—that you never loved him—and it’s |
|
all wiped out forever.” |
|
|
|
She looked at him blindly. “Why—how could I love him—possibly?” |
|
|
|
“You never loved him.” |
|
|
|
She hesitated. Her eyes fell on Jordan and me with a sort of appeal, |
|
as though she realized at last what she was doing—and as though she |
|
had never, all along, intended doing anything at all. But it was done |
|
now. It was too late. |
|
|
|
“I never loved him,” she said, with perceptible reluctance. |
|
|
|
“Not at Kapiolani?” demanded Tom suddenly. |
|
|
|
“No.” |
|
|
|
From the ballroom beneath, muffled and suffocating chords were |
|
drifting up on hot waves of air. |
|
|
|
“Not that day I carried you down from the Punch Bowl to keep your |
|
shoes dry?” There was a husky tenderness in his tone … “Daisy?” |
|
|
|
“Please don’t.” Her voice was cold, but the rancour was gone from it. |
|
She looked at Gatsby. “There, Jay,” she said—but her hand as she tried |
|
to light a cigarette was trembling. Suddenly she threw the cigarette |
|
and the burning match on the carpet. |
|
|
|
“Oh, you want too much!” she cried to Gatsby. “I love you now—isn’t |
|
that enough? I can’t help what’s past.” She began to sob |
|
helplessly. “I did love him once—but I loved you too.” |
|
|
|
Gatsby’s eyes opened and closed. |
|
|
|
“You loved me too?” he repeated. |
|
|
|
“Even that’s a lie,” said Tom savagely. “She didn’t know you were |
|
alive. Why—there’s things between Daisy and me that you’ll never know, |
|
things that neither of us can ever forget.” |
|
|
|
The words seemed to bite physically into Gatsby. |
|
|
|
“I want to speak to Daisy alone,” he insisted. “She’s all excited |
|
now—” |
|
|
|
“Even alone I can’t say I never loved Tom,” she admitted in a pitiful |
|
voice. “It wouldn’t be true.” |
|
|
|
“Of course it wouldn’t,” agreed Tom. |
|
|
|
She turned to her husband. |
|
|
|
“As if it mattered to you,” she said. |
|
|
|
“Of course it matters. I’m going to take better care of you from now |
|
on.” |
|
|
|
“You don’t understand,” said Gatsby, with a touch of panic. “You’re |
|
not going to take care of her any more.” |
|
|
|
“I’m not?” Tom opened his eyes wide and laughed. He could afford to |
|
control himself now. “Why’s that?” |
|
|
|
“Daisy’s leaving you.” |
|
|
|
“Nonsense.” |
|
|
|
“I am, though,” she said with a visible effort. |
|
|
|
“She’s not leaving me!” Tom’s words suddenly leaned down over Gatsby. |
|
“Certainly not for a common swindler who’d have to steal the ring he |
|
put on her finger.” |
|
|
|
“I won’t stand this!” cried Daisy. “Oh, please let’s get out.” |
|
|
|
“Who are you, anyhow?” broke out Tom. “You’re one of that bunch that |
|
hangs around with Meyer Wolfshiem—that much I happen to know. I’ve |
|
made a little investigation into your affairs—and I’ll carry it |
|
further tomorrow.” |
|
|
|
“You can suit yourself about that, old sport,” said Gatsby steadily. |
|
|
|
“I found out what your ‘drugstores’ were.” He turned to us and spoke |
|
rapidly. “He and this Wolfshiem bought up a lot of side-street |
|
drugstores here and in Chicago and sold grain alcohol over the |
|
counter. That’s one of his little stunts. I picked him for a |
|
bootlegger the first time I saw him, and I wasn’t far wrong.” |
|
|
|
“What about it?” said Gatsby politely. “I guess your friend Walter |
|
Chase wasn’t too proud to come in on it.” |
|
|
|
“And you left him in the lurch, didn’t you? You let him go to jail for |
|
a month over in New Jersey. God! You ought to hear Walter on the |
|
subject of you.” |
|
|
|
“He came to us dead broke. He was very glad to pick up some money, old |
|
sport.” |
|
|
|
“Don’t you call me ‘old sport’!” cried Tom. Gatsby said |
|
nothing. “Walter could have you up on the betting laws too, but |
|
Wolfshiem scared him into shutting his mouth.” |
|
|
|
That unfamiliar yet recognizable look was back again in Gatsby’s face. |
|
|
|
“That drugstore business was just small change,” continued Tom slowly, |
|
“but you’ve got something on now that Walter’s afraid to tell me |
|
about.” |
|
|
|
I glanced at Daisy, who was staring terrified between Gatsby and her |
|
husband, and at Jordan, who had begun to balance an invisible but |
|
absorbing object on the tip of her chin. Then I turned back to |
|
Gatsby—and was startled at his expression. He looked—and this is said |
|
in all contempt for the babbled slander of his garden—as if he had |
|
“killed a man.” For a moment the set of his face could be described in |
|
just that fantastic way. |
|
|
|
It passed, and he began to talk excitedly to Daisy, denying |
|
everything, defending his name against accusations that had not been |
|
made. But with every word she was drawing further and further into |
|
herself, so he gave that up, and only the dead dream fought on as the |
|
afternoon slipped away, trying to touch what was no longer tangible, |
|
struggling unhappily, undespairingly, toward that lost voice across |
|
the room. |
|
|
|
The voice begged again to go. |
|
|
|
“Please, Tom! I can’t stand this any more.” |
|
|
|
Her frightened eyes told that whatever intentions, whatever courage |
|
she had had, were definitely gone. |
|
|
|
“You two start on home, Daisy,” said Tom. “In Mr. Gatsby’s car.” |
|
|
|
She looked at Tom, alarmed now, but he insisted with magnanimous |
|
scorn. |
|
|
|
“Go on. He won’t annoy you. I think he realizes that his presumptuous |
|
little flirtation is over.” |
|
|
|
They were gone, without a word, snapped out, made accidental, |
|
isolated, like ghosts, even from our pity. |
|
|
|
After a moment Tom got up and began wrapping the unopened bottle of |
|
whisky in the towel. |
|
|
|
“Want any of this stuff? Jordan? … Nick?” |
|
|
|
I didn’t answer. |
|
|
|
“Nick?” He asked again. |
|
|
|
“What?” |
|
|
|
“Want any?” |
|
|
|
“No … I just remembered that today’s my birthday.” |
|
|
|
I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a |
|
new decade. |
|
|
|
It was seven o’clock when we got into the coupé with him and started |
|
for Long Island. Tom talked incessantly, exulting and laughing, but |
|
his voice was as remote from Jordan and me as the foreign clamour on |
|
the sidewalk or the tumult of the elevated overhead. Human sympathy |
|
has its limits, and we were content to let all their tragic arguments |
|
fade with the city lights behind. Thirty—the promise of a decade of |
|
loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning |
|
briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair. But there was Jordan beside |
|
me, who, unlike Daisy, was too wise ever to carry well-forgotten |
|
dreams from age to age. As we passed over the dark bridge her wan face |
|
fell lazily against my coat’s shoulder and the formidable stroke of |
|
thirty died away with the reassuring pressure of her hand. |
|
|
|
So we drove on toward death through the cooling twilight. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
The young Greek, Michaelis, who ran the coffee joint beside the |
|
ash-heaps was the principal witness at the inquest. He had slept |
|
through the heat until after five, when he strolled over to the |
|
garage, and found George Wilson sick in his office—really sick, pale |
|
as his own pale hair and shaking all over. Michaelis advised him to go |
|
to bed, but Wilson refused, saying that he’d miss a lot of business if |
|
he did. While his neighbour was trying to persuade him a violent |
|
racket broke out overhead. |
|
|
|
“I’ve got my wife locked in up there,” explained Wilson calmly. |
|
“She’s going to stay there till the day after tomorrow, and then we’re |
|
going to move away.” |
|
|
|
Michaelis was astonished; they had been neighbours for four years, and |
|
Wilson had never seemed faintly capable of such a statement. |
|
Generally he was one of these worn-out men: when he wasn’t working, he |
|
sat on a chair in the doorway and stared at the people and the cars |
|
that passed along the road. When anyone spoke to him he invariably |
|
laughed in an agreeable, colourless way. He was his wife’s man and not |
|
his own. |
|
|
|
So naturally Michaelis tried to find out what had happened, but Wilson |
|
wouldn’t say a word—instead he began to throw curious, suspicious |
|
glances at his visitor and ask him what he’d been doing at certain |
|
times on certain days. Just as the latter was getting uneasy, some |
|
workmen came past the door bound for his restaurant, and Michaelis |
|
took the opportunity to get away, intending to come back later. But he |
|
didn’t. He supposed he forgot to, that’s all. When he came outside |
|
again, a little after seven, he was reminded of the conversation |
|
because he heard Mrs. Wilson’s voice, loud and scolding, downstairs in |
|
the garage. |
|
|
|
“Beat me!” he heard her cry. “Throw me down and beat me, you dirty |
|
little coward!” |
|
|
|
A moment later she rushed out into the dusk, waving her hands and |
|
shouting—before he could move from his door the business was over. |
|
|
|
The “death car” as the newspapers called it, didn’t stop; it came out |
|
of the gathering darkness, wavered tragically for a moment, and then |
|
disappeared around the next bend. Mavro Michaelis wasn’t even sure of |
|
its colour—he told the first policeman that it was light green. The |
|
other car, the one going toward New York, came to rest a hundred yards |
|
beyond, and its driver hurried back to where Myrtle Wilson, her life |
|
violently extinguished, knelt in the road and mingled her thick dark |
|
blood with the dust. |
|
|
|
Michaelis and this man reached her first, but when they had torn open |
|
her shirtwaist, still damp with perspiration, they saw that her left |
|
breast was swinging loose like a flap, and there was no need to listen |
|
for the heart beneath. The mouth was wide open and ripped a little at |
|
the corners, as though she had choked a little in giving up the |
|
tremendous vitality she had stored so long. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
We saw the three or four automobiles and the crowd when we were still |
|
some distance away. |
|
|
|
“Wreck!” said Tom. “That’s good. Wilson’ll have a little business at |
|
last.” |
|
|
|
He slowed down, but still without any intention of stopping, until, as |
|
we came nearer, the hushed, intent faces of the people at the garage |
|
door made him automatically put on the brakes. |
|
|
|
“We’ll take a look,” he said doubtfully, “just a look.” |
|
|
|
I became aware now of a hollow, wailing sound which issued incessantly |
|
from the garage, a sound which as we got out of the coupé and walked |
|
toward the door resolved itself into the words “Oh, my God!” uttered |
|
over and over in a gasping moan. |
|
|
|
“There’s some bad trouble here,” said Tom excitedly. |
|
|
|
He reached up on tiptoes and peered over a circle of heads into the |
|
garage, which was lit only by a yellow light in a swinging metal |
|
basket overhead. Then he made a harsh sound in his throat, and with a |
|
violent thrusting movement of his powerful arms pushed his way |
|
through. |
|
|
|
The circle closed up again with a running murmur of expostulation; it |
|
was a minute before I could see anything at all. Then new arrivals |
|
deranged the line, and Jordan and I were pushed suddenly inside. |
|
|
|
Myrtle Wilson’s body, wrapped in a blanket, and then in another |
|
blanket, as though she suffered from a chill in the hot night, lay on |
|
a worktable by the wall, and Tom, with his back to us, was bending |
|
over it, motionless. Next to him stood a motorcycle policeman taking |
|
down names with much sweat and correction in a little book. At first I |
|
couldn’t find the source of the high, groaning words that echoed |
|
clamorously through the bare garage—then I saw Wilson standing on the |
|
raised threshold of his office, swaying back and forth and holding to |
|
the doorposts with both hands. Some man was talking to him in a low |
|
voice and attempting, from time to time, to lay a hand on his |
|
shoulder, but Wilson neither heard nor saw. His eyes would drop slowly |
|
from the swinging light to the laden table by the wall, and then jerk |
|
back to the light again, and he gave out incessantly his high, |
|
horrible call: |
|
|
|
“Oh, my Ga-od! Oh, my Ga-od! Oh, Ga-od! Oh, my Ga-od!” |
|
|
|
Presently Tom lifted his head with a jerk and, after staring around |
|
the garage with glazed eyes, addressed a mumbled incoherent remark to |
|
the policeman. |
|
|
|
“M-a-v—” the policeman was saying, “—o—” |
|
|
|
“No, r—” corrected the man, “M-a-v-r-o—” |
|
|
|
“Listen to me!” muttered Tom fiercely. |
|
|
|
“r—” said the policeman, “o—” |
|
|
|
“g—” |
|
|
|
“g—” He looked up as Tom’s broad hand fell sharply on his shoulder. |
|
“What you want, fella?” |
|
|
|
“What happened?—that’s what I want to know.” |
|
|
|
“Auto hit her. Ins’antly killed.” |
|
|
|
“Instantly killed,” repeated Tom, staring. |
|
|
|
“She ran out ina road. Son-of-a-bitch didn’t even stopus car.” |
|
|
|
“There was two cars,” said Michaelis, “one comin’, one goin’, see?” |
|
|
|
“Going where?” asked the policeman keenly. |
|
|
|
“One goin’ each way. Well, she”—his hand rose toward the blankets but |
|
stopped halfway and fell to his side—“she ran out there an’ the one |
|
comin’ from N’York knock right into her, goin’ thirty or forty miles |
|
an hour.” |
|
|
|
“What’s the name of this place here?” demanded the officer. |
|
|
|
“Hasn’t got any name.” |
|
|
|
A pale well-dressed negro stepped near. |
|
|
|
“It was a yellow car,” he said, “big yellow car. New.” |
|
|
|
“See the accident?” asked the policeman. |
|
|
|
“No, but the car passed me down the road, going faster’n forty. Going |
|
fifty, sixty.” |
|
|
|
“Come here and let’s have your name. Look out now. I want to get his |
|
name.” |
|
|
|
Some words of this conversation must have reached Wilson, swaying in |
|
the office door, for suddenly a new theme found voice among his |
|
grasping cries: |
|
|
|
“You don’t have to tell me what kind of car it was! I know what kind |
|
of car it was!” |
|
|
|
Watching Tom, I saw the wad of muscle back of his shoulder tighten |
|
under his coat. He walked quickly over to Wilson and, standing in |
|
front of him, seized him firmly by the upper arms. |
|
|
|
“You’ve got to pull yourself together,” he said with soothing |
|
gruffness. |
|
|
|
Wilson’s eyes fell upon Tom; he started up on his tiptoes and then |
|
would have collapsed to his knees had not Tom held him upright. |
|
|
|
“Listen,” said Tom, shaking him a little. “I just got here a minute |
|
ago, from New York. I was bringing you that coupé we’ve been talking |
|
about. That yellow car I was driving this afternoon wasn’t mine—do you |
|
hear? I haven’t seen it all afternoon.” |
|
|
|
Only the negro and I were near enough to hear what he said, but the |
|
policeman caught something in the tone and looked over with truculent |
|
eyes. |
|
|
|
“What’s all that?” he demanded. |
|
|
|
“I’m a friend of his.” Tom turned his head but kept his hands firm on |
|
Wilson’s body. “He says he knows the car that did it … It was a yellow |
|
car.” |
|
|
|
Some dim impulse moved the policeman to look suspiciously at Tom. |
|
|
|
“And what colour’s your car?” |
|
|
|
“It’s a blue car, a coupé.” |
|
|
|
“We’ve come straight from New York,” I said. |
|
|
|
Someone who had been driving a little behind us confirmed this, and |
|
the policeman turned away. |
|
|
|
“Now, if you’ll let me have that name again correct—” |
|
|
|
Picking up Wilson like a doll, Tom carried him into the office, set |
|
him down in a chair, and came back. |
|
|
|
“If somebody’ll come here and sit with him,” he snapped |
|
authoritatively. He watched while the two men standing closest glanced |
|
at each other and went unwillingly into the room. Then Tom shut the |
|
door on them and came down the single step, his eyes avoiding the |
|
table. As he passed close to me he whispered: “Let’s get out.” |
|
|
|
Self-consciously, with his authoritative arms breaking the way, we |
|
pushed through the still gathering crowd, passing a hurried doctor, |
|
case in hand, who had been sent for in wild hope half an hour ago. |
|
|
|
Tom drove slowly until we were beyond the bend—then his foot came down |
|
hard, and the coupé raced along through the night. In a little while I |
|
heard a low husky sob, and saw that the tears were overflowing down |
|
his face. |
|
|
|
“The God damned coward!” he whimpered. “He didn’t even stop his car.” |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
The Buchanans’ house floated suddenly toward us through the dark |
|
rustling trees. Tom stopped beside the porch and looked up at the |
|
second floor, where two windows bloomed with light among the vines. |
|
|
|
“Daisy’s home,” he said. As we got out of the car he glanced at me and |
|
frowned slightly. |
|
|
|
“I ought to have dropped you in West Egg, Nick. There’s nothing we can |
|
do tonight.” |
|
|
|
A change had come over him, and he spoke gravely, and with decision. |
|
As we walked across the moonlight gravel to the porch he disposed of |
|
the situation in a few brisk phrases. |
|
|
|
“I’ll telephone for a taxi to take you home, and while you’re waiting |
|
you and Jordan better go in the kitchen and have them get you some |
|
supper—if you want any.” He opened the door. “Come in.” |
|
|
|
“No, thanks. But I’d be glad if you’d order me the taxi. I’ll wait |
|
outside.” |
|
|
|
Jordan put her hand on my arm. |
|
|
|
“Won’t you come in, Nick?” |
|
|
|
“No, thanks.” |
|
|
|
I was feeling a little sick and I wanted to be alone. But Jordan |
|
lingered for a moment more. |
|
|
|
“It’s only half-past nine,” she said. |
|
|
|
I’d be damned if I’d go in; I’d had enough of all of them for one day, |
|
and suddenly that included Jordan too. She must have seen something of |
|
this in my expression, for she turned abruptly away and ran up the |
|
porch steps into the house. I sat down for a few minutes with my head |
|
in my hands, until I heard the phone taken up inside and the butler’s |
|
voice calling a taxi. Then I walked slowly down the drive away from |
|
the house, intending to wait by the gate. |
|
|
|
I hadn’t gone twenty yards when I heard my name and Gatsby stepped |
|
from between two bushes into the path. I must have felt pretty weird |
|
by that time, because I could think of nothing except the luminosity |
|
of his pink suit under the moon. |
|
|
|
“What are you doing?” I inquired. |
|
|
|
“Just standing here, old sport.” |
|
|
|
Somehow, that seemed a despicable occupation. For all I knew he was |
|
going to rob the house in a moment; I wouldn’t have been surprised to |
|
see sinister faces, the faces of “Wolfshiem’s people,” behind him in |
|
the dark shrubbery. |
|
|
|
“Did you see any trouble on the road?” he asked after a minute. |
|
|
|
“Yes.” |
|
|
|
He hesitated. |
|
|
|
“Was she killed?” |
|
|
|
“Yes.” |
|
|
|
“I thought so; I told Daisy I thought so. It’s better that the shock |
|
should all come at once. She stood it pretty well.” |
|
|
|
He spoke as if Daisy’s reaction was the only thing that mattered. |
|
|
|
“I got to West Egg by a side road,” he went on, “and left the car in |
|
my garage. I don’t think anybody saw us, but of course I can’t be |
|
sure.” |
|
|
|
I disliked him so much by this time that I didn’t find it necessary to |
|
tell him he was wrong. |
|
|
|
“Who was the woman?” he inquired. |
|
|
|
“Her name was Wilson. Her husband owns the garage. How the devil did |
|
it happen?” |
|
|
|
“Well, I tried to swing the wheel—” He broke off, and suddenly I |
|
guessed at the truth. |
|
|
|
“Was Daisy driving?” |
|
|
|
“Yes,” he said after a moment, “but of course I’ll say I was. You see, |
|
when we left New York she was very nervous and she thought it would |
|
steady her to drive—and this woman rushed out at us just as we were |
|
passing a car coming the other way. It all happened in a minute, but |
|
it seemed to me that she wanted to speak to us, thought we were |
|
somebody she knew. Well, first Daisy turned away from the woman toward |
|
the other car, and then she lost her nerve and turned back. The second |
|
my hand reached the wheel I felt the shock—it must have killed her |
|
instantly.” |
|
|
|
“It ripped her open—” |
|
|
|
“Don’t tell me, old sport.” He winced. “Anyhow—Daisy stepped on it. I |
|
tried to make her stop, but she couldn’t, so I pulled on the emergency |
|
brake. Then she fell over into my lap and I drove on. |
|
|
|
“She’ll be all right tomorrow,” he said presently. “I’m just going to |
|
wait here and see if he tries to bother her about that unpleasantness |
|
this afternoon. She’s locked herself into her room, and if he tries |
|
any brutality she’s going to turn the light out and on again.” |
|
|
|
“He won’t touch her,” I said. “He’s not thinking about her.” |
|
|
|
“I don’t trust him, old sport.” |
|
|
|
“How long are you going to wait?” |
|
|
|
“All night, if necessary. Anyhow, till they all go to bed.” |
|
|
|
A new point of view occurred to me. Suppose Tom found out that Daisy |
|
had been driving. He might think he saw a connection in it—he might |
|
think anything. I looked at the house; there were two or three bright |
|
windows downstairs and the pink glow from Daisy’s room on the ground |
|
floor. |
|
|
|
“You wait here,” I said. “I’ll see if there’s any sign of a |
|
commotion.” |
|
|
|
I walked back along the border of the lawn, traversed the gravel |
|
softly, and tiptoed up the veranda steps. The drawing-room curtains |
|
were open, and I saw that the room was empty. Crossing the porch where |
|
we had dined that June night three months before, I came to a small |
|
rectangle of light which I guessed was the pantry window. The blind |
|
was drawn, but I found a rift at the sill. |
|
|
|
Daisy and Tom were sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table, |
|
with a plate of cold fried chicken between them, and two bottles of |
|
ale. He was talking intently across the table at her, and in his |
|
earnestness his hand had fallen upon and covered her own. Once in a |
|
while she looked up at him and nodded in agreement. |
|
|
|
They weren’t happy, and neither of them had touched the chicken or the |
|
ale—and yet they weren’t unhappy either. There was an unmistakable air |
|
of natural intimacy about the picture, and anybody would have said |
|
that they were conspiring together. |
|
|
|
As I tiptoed from the porch I heard my taxi feeling its way along the |
|
dark road toward the house. Gatsby was waiting where I had left him in |
|
the drive. |
|
|
|
“Is it all quiet up there?” he asked anxiously. |
|
|
|
“Yes, it’s all quiet.” I hesitated. “You’d better come home and get |
|
some sleep.” |
|
|
|
He shook his head. |
|
|
|
“I want to wait here till Daisy goes to bed. Good night, old sport.” |
|
|
|
He put his hands in his coat pockets and turned back eagerly to his |
|
scrutiny of the house, as though my presence marred the sacredness of |
|
the vigil. So I walked away and left him standing there in the |
|
moonlight—watching over nothing. |
|
|
|
|
|
VIII |
|
|
|
I couldn’t sleep all night; a foghorn was groaning incessantly on the |
|
Sound, and I tossed half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, |
|
frightening dreams. Toward dawn I heard a taxi go up Gatsby’s drive, |
|
and immediately I jumped out of bed and began to dress—I felt that I |
|
had something to tell him, something to warn him about, and morning |
|
would be too late. |
|
|
|
Crossing his lawn, I saw that his front door was still open and he was |
|
leaning against a table in the hall, heavy with dejection or sleep. |
|
|
|
“Nothing happened,” he said wanly. “I waited, and about four o’clock |
|
she came to the window and stood there for a minute and then turned |
|
out the light.” |
|
|
|
His house had never seemed so enormous to me as it did that night when |
|
we hunted through the great rooms for cigarettes. We pushed aside |
|
curtains that were like pavilions, and felt over innumerable feet of |
|
dark wall for electric light switches—once I tumbled with a sort of |
|
splash upon the keys of a ghostly piano. There was an inexplicable |
|
amount of dust everywhere, and the rooms were musty, as though they |
|
hadn’t been aired for many days. I found the humidor on an unfamiliar |
|
table, with two stale, dry cigarettes inside. Throwing open the French |
|
windows of the drawing-room, we sat smoking out into the darkness. |
|
|
|
“You ought to go away,” I said. “It’s pretty certain they’ll trace |
|
your car.” |
|
|
|
“Go away now, old sport?” |
|
|
|
“Go to Atlantic City for a week, or up to Montreal.” |
|
|
|
He wouldn’t consider it. He couldn’t possibly leave Daisy until he |
|
knew what she was going to do. He was clutching at some last hope and |
|
I couldn’t bear to shake him free. |
|
|
|
It was this night that he told me the strange story of his youth with |
|
Dan Cody—told it to me because “Jay Gatsby” had broken up like glass |
|
against Tom’s hard malice, and the long secret extravaganza was played |
|
out. I think that he would have acknowledged anything now, without |
|
reserve, but he wanted to talk about Daisy. |
|
|
|
She was the first “nice” girl he had ever known. In various unrevealed |
|
capacities he had come in contact with such people, but always with |
|
indiscernible barbed wire between. He found her excitingly |
|
desirable. He went to her house, at first with other officers from |
|
Camp Taylor, then alone. It amazed him—he had never been in such a |
|
beautiful house before. But what gave it an air of breathless |
|
intensity, was that Daisy lived there—it was as casual a thing to her |
|
as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it, |
|
a hint of bedrooms upstairs more beautiful and cool than other |
|
bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its |
|
corridors, and of romances that were not musty and laid away already |
|
in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year’s |
|
shining motorcars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely |
|
withered. It excited him, too, that many men had already loved |
|
Daisy—it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all |
|
about the house, pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still |
|
vibrant emotions. |
|
|
|
But he knew that he was in Daisy’s house by a colossal |
|
accident. However glorious might be his future as Jay Gatsby, he was |
|
at present a penniless young man without a past, and at any moment the |
|
invisible cloak of his uniform might slip from his shoulders. So he |
|
made the most of his time. He took what he could get, ravenously and |
|
unscrupulously—eventually he took Daisy one still October night, took |
|
her because he had no real right to touch her hand. |
|
|
|
He might have despised himself, for he had certainly taken her under |
|
false pretences. I don’t mean that he had traded on his phantom |
|
millions, but he had deliberately given Daisy a sense of security; he |
|
let her believe that he was a person from much the same strata as |
|
herself—that he was fully able to take care of her. As a matter of |
|
fact, he had no such facilities—he had no comfortable family standing |
|
behind him, and he was liable at the whim of an impersonal government |
|
to be blown anywhere about the world. |
|
|
|
But he didn’t despise himself and it didn’t turn out as he had |
|
imagined. He had intended, probably, to take what he could and go—but |
|
now he found that he had committed himself to the following of a |
|
grail. He knew that Daisy was extraordinary, but he didn’t realize |
|
just how extraordinary a “nice” girl could be. She vanished into her |
|
rich house, into her rich, full life, leaving Gatsby—nothing. He felt |
|
married to her, that was all. |
|
|
|
When they met again, two days later, it was Gatsby who was breathless, |
|
who was, somehow, betrayed. Her porch was bright with the bought |
|
luxury of star-shine; the wicker of the settee squeaked fashionably as |
|
she turned toward him and he kissed her curious and lovely mouth. She |
|
had caught a cold, and it made her voice huskier and more charming |
|
than ever, and Gatsby was overwhelmingly aware of the youth and |
|
mystery that wealth imprisons and preserves, of the freshness of many |
|
clothes, and of Daisy, gleaming like silver, safe and proud above the |
|
hot struggles of the poor. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
“I can’t describe to you how surprised I was to find out I loved her, |
|
old sport. I even hoped for a while that she’d throw me over, but she |
|
didn’t, because she was in love with me too. She thought I knew a lot |
|
because I knew different things from her … Well, there I was, way off |
|
my ambitions, getting deeper in love every minute, and all of a sudden |
|
I didn’t care. What was the use of doing great things if I could have |
|
a better time telling her what I was going to do?” |
|
|
|
On the last afternoon before he went abroad, he sat with Daisy in his |
|
arms for a long, silent time. It was a cold fall day, with fire in the |
|
room and her cheeks flushed. Now and then she moved and he changed his |
|
arm a little, and once he kissed her dark shining hair. The afternoon |
|
had made them tranquil for a while, as if to give them a deep memory |
|
for the long parting the next day promised. They had never been closer |
|
in their month of love, nor communicated more profoundly one with |
|
another, than when she brushed silent lips against his coat’s shoulder |
|
or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, as though she were |
|
asleep. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
He did extraordinarily well in the war. He was a captain before he |
|
went to the front, and following the Argonne battles he got his |
|
majority and the command of the divisional machine-guns. After the |
|
armistice he tried frantically to get home, but some complication or |
|
misunderstanding sent him to Oxford instead. He was worried now—there |
|
was a quality of nervous despair in Daisy’s letters. She didn’t see |
|
why he couldn’t come. She was feeling the pressure of the world |
|
outside, and she wanted to see him and feel his presence beside her |
|
and be reassured that she was doing the right thing after all. |
|
|
|
For Daisy was young and her artificial world was redolent of orchids |
|
and pleasant, cheerful snobbery and orchestras which set the rhythm of |
|
the year, summing up the sadness and suggestiveness of life in new |
|
tunes. All night the saxophones wailed the hopeless comment of the |
|
“Beale Street Blues” while a hundred pairs of golden and silver |
|
slippers shuffled the shining dust. At the grey tea hour there were |
|
always rooms that throbbed incessantly with this low, sweet fever, |
|
while fresh faces drifted here and there like rose petals blown by the |
|
sad horns around the floor. |
|
|
|
Through this twilight universe Daisy began to move again with the |
|
season; suddenly she was again keeping half a dozen dates a day with |
|
half a dozen men, and drowsing asleep at dawn with the beads and |
|
chiffon of an evening-dress tangled among dying orchids on the floor |
|
beside her bed. And all the time something within her was crying for a |
|
decision. She wanted her life shaped now, immediately—and the decision |
|
must be made by some force—of love, of money, of unquestionable |
|
practicality—that was close at hand. |
|
|
|
That force took shape in the middle of spring with the arrival of Tom |
|
Buchanan. There was a wholesome bulkiness about his person and his |
|
position, and Daisy was flattered. Doubtless there was a certain |
|
struggle and a certain relief. The letter reached Gatsby while he was |
|
still at Oxford. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
It was dawn now on Long Island and we went about opening the rest of |
|
the windows downstairs, filling the house with grey-turning, |
|
gold-turning light. The shadow of a tree fell abruptly across the dew |
|
and ghostly birds began to sing among the blue leaves. There was a |
|
slow, pleasant movement in the air, scarcely a wind, promising a cool, |
|
lovely day. |
|
|
|
“I don’t think she ever loved him.” Gatsby turned around from a window |
|
and looked at me challengingly. “You must remember, old sport, she was |
|
very excited this afternoon. He told her those things in a way that |
|
frightened her—that made it look as if I was some kind of cheap |
|
sharper. And the result was she hardly knew what she was saying.” |
|
|
|
He sat down gloomily. |
|
|
|
“Of course she might have loved him just for a minute, when they were |
|
first married—and loved me more even then, do you see?” |
|
|
|
Suddenly he came out with a curious remark. |
|
|
|
“In any case,” he said, “it was just personal.” |
|
|
|
What could you make of that, except to suspect some intensity in his |
|
conception of the affair that couldn’t be measured? |
|
|
|
He came back from France when Tom and Daisy were still on their |
|
wedding trip, and made a miserable but irresistible journey to |
|
Louisville on the last of his army pay. He stayed there a week, |
|
walking the streets where their footsteps had clicked together through |
|
the November night and revisiting the out-of-the-way places to which |
|
they had driven in her white car. Just as Daisy’s house had always |
|
seemed to him more mysterious and gay than other houses, so his idea |
|
of the city itself, even though she was gone from it, was pervaded |
|
with a melancholy beauty. |
|
|
|
He left feeling that if he had searched harder, he might have found |
|
her—that he was leaving her behind. The day-coach—he was penniless |
|
now—was hot. He went out to the open vestibule and sat down on a |
|
folding-chair, and the station slid away and the backs of unfamiliar |
|
buildings moved by. Then out into the spring fields, where a yellow |
|
trolley raced them for a minute with people in it who might once have |
|
seen the pale magic of her face along the casual street. |
|
|
|
The track curved and now it was going away from the sun, which, as it |
|
sank lower, seemed to spread itself in benediction over the vanishing |
|
city where she had drawn her breath. He stretched out his hand |
|
desperately as if to snatch only a wisp of air, to save a fragment of |
|
the spot that she had made lovely for him. But it was all going by too |
|
fast now for his blurred eyes and he knew that he had lost that part |
|
of it, the freshest and the best, forever. |
|
|
|
It was nine o’clock when we finished breakfast and went out on the |
|
porch. The night had made a sharp difference in the weather and there |
|
was an autumn flavour in the air. The gardener, the last one of |
|
Gatsby’s former servants, came to the foot of the steps. |
|
|
|
“I’m going to drain the pool today, Mr. Gatsby. Leaves’ll start |
|
falling pretty soon, and then there’s always trouble with the pipes.” |
|
|
|
“Don’t do it today,” Gatsby answered. He turned to me apologetically. |
|
“You know, old sport, I’ve never used that pool all summer?” |
|
|
|
I looked at my watch and stood up. |
|
|
|
“Twelve minutes to my train.” |
|
|
|
I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of |
|
work, but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I |
|
missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away. |
|
|
|
“I’ll call you up,” I said finally. |
|
|
|
“Do, old sport.” |
|
|
|
“I’ll call you about noon.” |
|
|
|
We walked slowly down the steps. |
|
|
|
“I suppose Daisy’ll call too.” He looked at me anxiously, as if he |
|
hoped I’d corroborate this. |
|
|
|
“I suppose so.” |
|
|
|
“Well, goodbye.” |
|
|
|
We shook hands and I started away. Just before I reached the hedge I |
|
remembered something and turned around. |
|
|
|
“They’re a rotten crowd,” I shouted across the lawn. “You’re worth the |
|
whole damn bunch put together.” |
|
|
|
I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever |
|
gave him, because I disapproved of him from beginning to end. First he |
|
nodded politely, and then his face broke into that radiant and |
|
understanding smile, as if we’d been in ecstatic cahoots on that fact |
|
all the time. His gorgeous pink rag of a suit made a bright spot of |
|
colour against the white steps, and I thought of the night when I |
|
first came to his ancestral home, three months before. The lawn and |
|
drive had been crowded with the faces of those who guessed at his |
|
corruption—and he had stood on those steps, concealing his |
|
incorruptible dream, as he waved them goodbye. |
|
|
|
I thanked him for his hospitality. We were always thanking him for |
|
that—I and the others. |
|
|
|
“Goodbye,” I called. “I enjoyed breakfast, Gatsby.” |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
Up in the city, I tried for a while to list the quotations on an |
|
interminable amount of stock, then I fell asleep in my swivel-chair. |
|
Just before noon the phone woke me, and I started up with sweat |
|
breaking out on my forehead. It was Jordan Baker; she often called me |
|
up at this hour because the uncertainty of her own movements between |
|
hotels and clubs and private houses made her hard to find in any other |
|
way. Usually her voice came over the wire as something fresh and cool, |
|
as if a divot from a green golf-links had come sailing in at the |
|
office window, but this morning it seemed harsh and dry. |
|
|
|
“I’ve left Daisy’s house,” she said. “I’m at Hempstead, and I’m going |
|
down to Southampton this afternoon.” |
|
|
|
Probably it had been tactful to leave Daisy’s house, but the act |
|
annoyed me, and her next remark made me rigid. |
|
|
|
“You weren’t so nice to me last night.” |
|
|
|
“How could it have mattered then?” |
|
|
|
Silence for a moment. Then: |
|
|
|
“However—I want to see you.” |
|
|
|
“I want to see you, too.” |
|
|
|
“Suppose I don’t go to Southampton, and come into town this |
|
afternoon?” |
|
|
|
“No—I don’t think this afternoon.” |
|
|
|
“Very well.” |
|
|
|
“It’s impossible this afternoon. Various—” |
|
|
|
We talked like that for a while, and then abruptly we weren’t talking |
|
any longer. I don’t know which of us hung up with a sharp click, but I |
|
know I didn’t care. I couldn’t have talked to her across a tea-table |
|
that day if I never talked to her again in this world. |
|
|
|
I called Gatsby’s house a few minutes later, but the line was busy. I |
|
tried four times; finally an exasperated central told me the wire was |
|
being kept open for long distance from Detroit. Taking out my |
|
timetable, I drew a small circle around the three-fifty train. Then I |
|
leaned back in my chair and tried to think. It was just noon. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
When I passed the ash-heaps on the train that morning I had crossed |
|
deliberately to the other side of the car. I supposed there’d be a |
|
curious crowd around there all day with little boys searching for dark |
|
spots in the dust, and some garrulous man telling over and over what |
|
had happened, until it became less and less real even to him and he |
|
could tell it no longer, and Myrtle Wilson’s tragic achievement was |
|
forgotten. Now I want to go back a little and tell what happened at |
|
the garage after we left there the night before. |
|
|
|
They had difficulty in locating the sister, Catherine. She must have |
|
broken her rule against drinking that night, for when she arrived she |
|
was stupid with liquor and unable to understand that the ambulance had |
|
already gone to Flushing. When they convinced her of this, she |
|
immediately fainted, as if that was the intolerable part of the |
|
affair. Someone, kind or curious, took her in his car and drove her in |
|
the wake of her sister’s body. |
|
|
|
Until long after midnight a changing crowd lapped up against the front |
|
of the garage, while George Wilson rocked himself back and forth on |
|
the couch inside. For a while the door of the office was open, and |
|
everyone who came into the garage glanced irresistibly through it. |
|
Finally someone said it was a shame, and closed the door. Michaelis |
|
and several other men were with him; first, four or five men, later |
|
two or three men. Still later Michaelis had to ask the last stranger |
|
to wait there fifteen minutes longer, while he went back to his own |
|
place and made a pot of coffee. After that, he stayed there alone with |
|
Wilson until dawn. |
|
|
|
About three o’clock the quality of Wilson’s incoherent muttering |
|
changed—he grew quieter and began to talk about the yellow car. He |
|
announced that he had a way of finding out whom the yellow car |
|
belonged to, and then he blurted out that a couple of months ago his |
|
wife had come from the city with her face bruised and her nose |
|
swollen. |
|
|
|
But when he heard himself say this, he flinched and began to cry “Oh, |
|
my God!” again in his groaning voice. Michaelis made a clumsy attempt |
|
to distract him. |
|
|
|
“How long have you been married, George? Come on there, try and sit |
|
still a minute, and answer my question. How long have you been |
|
married?” |
|
|
|
“Twelve years.” |
|
|
|
“Ever had any children? Come on, George, sit still—I asked you a |
|
question. Did you ever have any children?” |
|
|
|
The hard brown beetles kept thudding against the dull light, and |
|
whenever Michaelis heard a car go tearing along the road outside it |
|
sounded to him like the car that hadn’t stopped a few hours before. |
|
He didn’t like to go into the garage, because the work bench was |
|
stained where the body had been lying, so he moved uncomfortably |
|
around the office—he knew every object in it before morning—and from |
|
time to time sat down beside Wilson trying to keep him more quiet. |
|
|
|
“Have you got a church you go to sometimes, George? Maybe even if you |
|
haven’t been there for a long time? Maybe I could call up the church |
|
and get a priest to come over and he could talk to you, see?” |
|
|
|
“Don’t belong to any.” |
|
|
|
“You ought to have a church, George, for times like this. You must |
|
have gone to church once. Didn’t you get married in a church? Listen, |
|
George, listen to me. Didn’t you get married in a church?” |
|
|
|
“That was a long time ago.” |
|
|
|
The effort of answering broke the rhythm of his rocking—for a moment |
|
he was silent. Then the same half-knowing, half-bewildered look came |
|
back into his faded eyes. |
|
|
|
“Look in the drawer there,” he said, pointing at the desk. |
|
|
|
“Which drawer?” |
|
|
|
“That drawer—that one.” |
|
|
|
Michaelis opened the drawer nearest his hand. There was nothing in it |
|
but a small, expensive dog-leash, made of leather and braided |
|
silver. It was apparently new. |
|
|
|
“This?” he inquired, holding it up. |
|
|
|
Wilson stared and nodded. |
|
|
|
“I found it yesterday afternoon. She tried to tell me about it, but I |
|
knew it was something funny.” |
|
|
|
“You mean your wife bought it?” |
|
|
|
“She had it wrapped in tissue paper on her bureau.” |
|
|
|
Michaelis didn’t see anything odd in that, and he gave Wilson a dozen |
|
reasons why his wife might have bought the dog-leash. But conceivably |
|
Wilson had heard some of these same explanations before, from Myrtle, |
|
because he began saying “Oh, my God!” again in a whisper—his comforter |
|
left several explanations in the air. |
|
|
|
“Then he killed her,” said Wilson. His mouth dropped open suddenly. |
|
|
|
“Who did?” |
|
|
|
“I have a way of finding out.” |
|
|
|
“You’re morbid, George,” said his friend. “This has been a strain to |
|
you and you don’t know what you’re saying. You’d better try and sit |
|
quiet till morning.” |
|
|
|
“He murdered her.” |
|
|
|
“It was an accident, George.” |
|
|
|
Wilson shook his head. His eyes narrowed and his mouth widened |
|
slightly with the ghost of a superior “Hm!” |
|
|
|
“I know,” he said definitely. “I’m one of these trusting fellas and I |
|
don’t think any harm to nobody, but when I get to know a thing I know |
|
it. It was the man in that car. She ran out to speak to him and he |
|
wouldn’t stop.” |
|
|
|
Michaelis had seen this too, but it hadn’t occurred to him that there |
|
was any special significance in it. He believed that Mrs. Wilson had |
|
been running away from her husband, rather than trying to stop any |
|
particular car. |
|
|
|
“How could she of been like that?” |
|
|
|
“She’s a deep one,” said Wilson, as if that answered the question. |
|
“Ah-h-h—” |
|
|
|
He began to rock again, and Michaelis stood twisting the leash in his |
|
hand. |
|
|
|
“Maybe you got some friend that I could telephone for, George?” |
|
|
|
This was a forlorn hope—he was almost sure that Wilson had no friend: |
|
there was not enough of him for his wife. He was glad a little later |
|
when he noticed a change in the room, a blue quickening by the window, |
|
and realized that dawn wasn’t far off. About five o’clock it was blue |
|
enough outside to snap off the light. |
|
|
|
Wilson’s glazed eyes turned out to the ash-heaps, where small grey |
|
clouds took on fantastic shapes and scurried here and there in the |
|
faint dawn wind. |
|
|
|
“I spoke to her,” he muttered, after a long silence. “I told her she |
|
might fool me but she couldn’t fool God. I took her to the |
|
window”—with an effort he got up and walked to the rear window and |
|
leaned with his face pressed against it—“and I said ‘God knows what |
|
you’ve been doing, everything you’ve been doing. You may fool me, but |
|
you can’t fool God!’ ” |
|
|
|
Standing behind him, Michaelis saw with a shock that he was looking at |
|
the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg, which had just emerged, pale and |
|
enormous, from the dissolving night. |
|
|
|
“God sees everything,” repeated Wilson. |
|
|
|
“That’s an advertisement,” Michaelis assured him. Something made him |
|
turn away from the window and look back into the room. But Wilson |
|
stood there a long time, his face close to the window pane, nodding |
|
into the twilight. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
By six o’clock Michaelis was worn out, and grateful for the sound of a |
|
car stopping outside. It was one of the watchers of the night before |
|
who had promised to come back, so he cooked breakfast for three, which |
|
he and the other man ate together. Wilson was quieter now, and |
|
Michaelis went home to sleep; when he awoke four hours later and |
|
hurried back to the garage, Wilson was gone. |
|
|
|
His movements—he was on foot all the time—were afterward traced to |
|
Port Roosevelt and then to Gad’s Hill, where he bought a sandwich that |
|
he didn’t eat, and a cup of coffee. He must have been tired and |
|
walking slowly, for he didn’t reach Gad’s Hill until noon. Thus far |
|
there was no difficulty in accounting for his time—there were boys who |
|
had seen a man “acting sort of crazy,” and motorists at whom he stared |
|
oddly from the side of the road. Then for three hours he disappeared |
|
from view. The police, on the strength of what he said to Michaelis, |
|
that he “had a way of finding out,” supposed that he spent that time |
|
going from garage to garage thereabout, inquiring for a yellow car. On |
|
the other hand, no garage man who had seen him ever came forward, and |
|
perhaps he had an easier, surer way of finding out what he wanted to |
|
know. By half-past two he was in West Egg, where he asked someone the |
|
way to Gatsby’s house. So by that time he knew Gatsby’s name. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
At two o’clock Gatsby put on his bathing-suit and left word with the |
|
butler that if anyone phoned word was to be brought to him at the |
|
pool. He stopped at the garage for a pneumatic mattress that had |
|
amused his guests during the summer, and the chauffeur helped him to |
|
pump it up. Then he gave instructions that the open car wasn’t to be |
|
taken out under any circumstances—and this was strange, because the |
|
front right fender needed repair. |
|
|
|
Gatsby shouldered the mattress and started for the pool. Once he |
|
stopped and shifted it a little, and the chauffeur asked him if he |
|
needed help, but he shook his head and in a moment disappeared among |
|
the yellowing trees. |
|
|
|
No telephone message arrived, but the butler went without his sleep |
|
and waited for it until four o’clock—until long after there was anyone |
|
to give it to if it came. I have an idea that Gatsby himself didn’t |
|
believe it would come, and perhaps he no longer cared. If that was |
|
true he must have felt that he had lost the old warm world, paid a |
|
high price for living too long with a single dream. He must have |
|
looked up at an unfamiliar sky through frightening leaves and shivered |
|
as he found what a grotesque thing a rose is and how raw the sunlight |
|
was upon the scarcely created grass. A new world, material without |
|
being real, where poor ghosts, breathing dreams like air, drifted |
|
fortuitously about … like that ashen, fantastic figure gliding toward |
|
him through the amorphous trees. |
|
|
|
The chauffeur—he was one of Wolfshiem’s protégés—heard the |
|
shots—afterwards he could only say that he hadn’t thought anything |
|
much about them. I drove from the station directly to Gatsby’s house |
|
and my rushing anxiously up the front steps was the first thing that |
|
alarmed anyone. But they knew then, I firmly believe. With scarcely a |
|
word said, four of us, the chauffeur, butler, gardener, and I hurried |
|
down to the pool. |
|
|
|
There was a faint, barely perceptible movement of the water as the |
|
fresh flow from one end urged its way toward the drain at the other. |
|
With little ripples that were hardly the shadows of waves, the laden |
|
mattress moved irregularly down the pool. A small gust of wind that |
|
scarcely corrugated the surface was enough to disturb its accidental |
|
course with its accidental burden. The touch of a cluster of leaves |
|
revolved it slowly, tracing, like the leg of transit, a thin red |
|
circle in the water. |
|
|
|
It was after we started with Gatsby toward the house that the gardener |
|
saw Wilson’s body a little way off in the grass, and the holocaust was |
|
complete. |
|
|
|
|
|
IX |
|
|
|
After two years I remember the rest of that day, and that night and |
|
the next day, only as an endless drill of police and photographers and |
|
newspaper men in and out of Gatsby’s front door. A rope stretched |
|
across the main gate and a policeman by it kept out the curious, but |
|
little boys soon discovered that they could enter through my yard, and |
|
there were always a few of them clustered open-mouthed about the |
|
pool. Someone with a positive manner, perhaps a detective, used the |
|
expression “madman” as he bent over Wilson’s body that afternoon, and |
|
the adventitious authority of his voice set the key for the newspaper |
|
reports next morning. |
|
|
|
Most of those reports were a nightmare—grotesque, circumstantial, |
|
eager, and untrue. When Michaelis’s testimony at the inquest brought |
|
to light Wilson’s suspicions of his wife I thought the whole tale |
|
would shortly be served up in racy pasquinade—but Catherine, who might |
|
have said anything, didn’t say a word. She showed a surprising amount |
|
of character about it too—looked at the coroner with determined eyes |
|
under that corrected brow of hers, and swore that her sister had never |
|
seen Gatsby, that her sister was completely happy with her husband, |
|
that her sister had been into no mischief whatever. She convinced |
|
herself of it, and cried into her handkerchief, as if the very |
|
suggestion was more than she could endure. So Wilson was reduced to a |
|
man “deranged by grief” in order that the case might remain in its |
|
simplest form. And it rested there. |
|
|
|
But all this part of it seemed remote and unessential. I found myself |
|
on Gatsby’s side, and alone. From the moment I telephoned news of the |
|
catastrophe to West Egg village, every surmise about him, and every |
|
practical question, was referred to me. At first I was surprised and |
|
confused; then, as he lay in his house and didn’t move or breathe or |
|
speak, hour upon hour, it grew upon me that I was responsible, because |
|
no one else was interested—interested, I mean, with that intense |
|
personal interest to which everyone has some vague right at the end. |
|
|
|
I called up Daisy half an hour after we found him, called her |
|
instinctively and without hesitation. But she and Tom had gone away |
|
early that afternoon, and taken baggage with them. |
|
|
|
“Left no address?” |
|
|
|
“No.” |
|
|
|
“Say when they’d be back?” |
|
|
|
“No.” |
|
|
|
“Any idea where they are? How I could reach them?” |
|
|
|
“I don’t know. Can’t say.” |
|
|
|
I wanted to get somebody for him. I wanted to go into the room where |
|
he lay and reassure him: “I’ll get somebody for you, Gatsby. Don’t |
|
worry. Just trust me and I’ll get somebody for you—” |
|
|
|
Meyer Wolfshiem’s name wasn’t in the phone book. The butler gave me |
|
his office address on Broadway, and I called Information, but by the |
|
time I had the number it was long after five, and no one answered the |
|
phone. |
|
|
|
“Will you ring again?” |
|
|
|
“I’ve rung three times.” |
|
|
|
“It’s very important.” |
|
|
|
“Sorry. I’m afraid no one’s there.” |
|
|
|
I went back to the drawing-room and thought for an instant that they |
|
were chance visitors, all these official people who suddenly filled |
|
it. But, though they drew back the sheet and looked at Gatsby with |
|
shocked eyes, his protest continued in my brain: |
|
|
|
“Look here, old sport, you’ve got to get somebody for me. You’ve got |
|
to try hard. I can’t go through this alone.” |
|
|
|
Someone started to ask me questions, but I broke away and going |
|
upstairs looked hastily through the unlocked parts of his desk—he’d |
|
never told me definitely that his parents were dead. But there was |
|
nothing—only the picture of Dan Cody, a token of forgotten violence, |
|
staring down from the wall. |
|
|
|
Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfshiem, |
|
which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next |
|
train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure |
|
he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure there’d be a |
|
wire from Daisy before noon—but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfshiem |
|
arrived; no one arrived except more police and photographers and |
|
newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfshiem’s answer I began |
|
to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby |
|
and me against them all. |
|
|
|
Dear Mr. Carraway. This has been one of the most terrible shocks of |
|
my life to me I hardly can believe it that it is true at all. Such a |
|
mad act as that man did should make us all think. I cannot come down |
|
now as I am tied up in some very important business and cannot get |
|
mixed up in this thing now. If there is anything I can do a little |
|
later let me know in a letter by Edgar. I hardly know where I am when |
|
I hear about a thing like this and am completely knocked down and |
|
out. |
|
|
|
Yours truly |
|
|
|
Meyer Wolfshiem |
|
|
|
and then hasty addenda beneath: |
|
|
|
Let me know about the funeral etc do not know his family at all. |
|
|
|
When the phone rang that afternoon and Long Distance said Chicago was |
|
calling I thought this would be Daisy at last. But the connection came |
|
through as a man’s voice, very thin and far away. |
|
|
|
“This is Slagle speaking …” |
|
|
|
“Yes?” The name was unfamiliar. |
|
|
|
“Hell of a note, isn’t it? Get my wire?” |
|
|
|
“There haven’t been any wires.” |
|
|
|
“Young Parke’s in trouble,” he said rapidly. “They picked him up when |
|
he handed the bonds over the counter. They got a circular from New |
|
York giving ’em the numbers just five minutes before. What d’you know |
|
about that, hey? You never can tell in these hick towns—” |
|
|
|
“Hello!” I interrupted breathlessly. “Look here—this isn’t Mr. |
|
Gatsby. Mr. Gatsby’s dead.” |
|
|
|
There was a long silence on the other end of the wire, followed by an |
|
exclamation … then a quick squawk as the connection was broken. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
I think it was on the third day that a telegram signed Henry C. Gatz |
|
arrived from a town in Minnesota. It said only that the sender was |
|
leaving immediately and to postpone the funeral until he came. |
|
|
|
It was Gatsby’s father, a solemn old man, very helpless and dismayed, |
|
bundled up in a long cheap ulster against the warm September day. His |
|
eyes leaked continuously with excitement, and when I took the bag and |
|
umbrella from his hands he began to pull so incessantly at his sparse |
|
grey beard that I had difficulty in getting off his coat. He was on |
|
the point of collapse, so I took him into the music-room and made him |
|
sit down while I sent for something to eat. But he wouldn’t eat, and |
|
the glass of milk spilled from his trembling hand. |
|
|
|
“I saw it in the Chicago newspaper,” he said. “It was all in the |
|
Chicago newspaper. I started right away.” |
|
|
|
“I didn’t know how to reach you.” |
|
|
|
His eyes, seeing nothing, moved ceaselessly about the room. |
|
|
|
“It was a madman,” he said. “He must have been mad.” |
|
|
|
“Wouldn’t you like some coffee?” I urged him. |
|
|
|
“I don’t want anything. I’m all right now, Mr.—” |
|
|
|
“Carraway.” |
|
|
|
“Well, I’m all right now. Where have they got Jimmy?” |
|
|
|
I took him into the drawing-room, where his son lay, and left him |
|
there. Some little boys had come up on the steps and were looking into |
|
the hall; when I told them who had arrived, they went reluctantly |
|
away. |
|
|
|
After a little while Mr. Gatz opened the door and came out, his mouth |
|
ajar, his face flushed slightly, his eyes leaking isolated and |
|
unpunctual tears. He had reached an age where death no longer has the |
|
quality of ghastly surprise, and when he looked around him now for the |
|
first time and saw the height and splendour of the hall and the great |
|
rooms opening out from it into other rooms, his grief began to be |
|
mixed with an awed pride. I helped him to a bedroom upstairs; while he |
|
took off his coat and vest I told him that all arrangements had been |
|
deferred until he came. |
|
|
|
“I didn’t know what you’d want, Mr. Gatsby—” |
|
|
|
“Gatz is my name.” |
|
|
|
“—Mr. Gatz. I thought you might want to take the body West.” |
|
|
|
He shook his head. |
|
|
|
“Jimmy always liked it better down East. He rose up to his position in |
|
the East. Were you a friend of my boy’s, Mr.—?” |
|
|
|
“We were close friends.” |
|
|
|
“He had a big future before him, you know. He was only a young man, |
|
but he had a lot of brain power here.” |
|
|
|
He touched his head impressively, and I nodded. |
|
|
|
“If he’d of lived, he’d of been a great man. A man like James J. |
|
Hill. He’d of helped build up the country.” |
|
|
|
“That’s true,” I said, uncomfortably. |
|
|
|
He fumbled at the embroidered coverlet, trying to take it from the |
|
bed, and lay down stiffly—was instantly asleep. |
|
|
|
That night an obviously frightened person called up, and demanded to |
|
know who I was before he would give his name. |
|
|
|
“This is Mr. Carraway,” I said. |
|
|
|
“Oh!” He sounded relieved. “This is Klipspringer.” |
|
|
|
I was relieved too, for that seemed to promise another friend at |
|
Gatsby’s grave. I didn’t want it to be in the papers and draw a |
|
sightseeing crowd, so I’d been calling up a few people myself. They |
|
were hard to find. |
|
|
|
“The funeral’s tomorrow,” I said. “Three o’clock, here at the house. |
|
I wish you’d tell anybody who’d be interested.” |
|
|
|
“Oh, I will,” he broke out hastily. “Of course I’m not likely to see |
|
anybody, but if I do.” |
|
|
|
His tone made me suspicious. |
|
|
|
“Of course you’ll be there yourself.” |
|
|
|
“Well, I’ll certainly try. What I called up about is—” |
|
|
|
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “How about saying you’ll come?” |
|
|
|
“Well, the fact is—the truth of the matter is that I’m staying with |
|
some people up here in Greenwich, and they rather expect me to be with |
|
them tomorrow. In fact, there’s a sort of picnic or something. Of |
|
course I’ll do my best to get away.” |
|
|
|
I ejaculated an unrestrained “Huh!” and he must have heard me, for he |
|
went on nervously: |
|
|
|
“What I called up about was a pair of shoes I left there. I wonder if |
|
it’d be too much trouble to have the butler send them on. You see, |
|
they’re tennis shoes, and I’m sort of helpless without them. My |
|
address is care of B. F.—” |
|
|
|
I didn’t hear the rest of the name, because I hung up the receiver. |
|
|
|
After that I felt a certain shame for Gatsby—one gentleman to whom I |
|
telephoned implied that he had got what he deserved. However, that was |
|
my fault, for he was one of those who used to sneer most bitterly at |
|
Gatsby on the courage of Gatsby’s liquor, and I should have known |
|
better than to call him. |
|
|
|
The morning of the funeral I went up to New York to see Meyer |
|
Wolfshiem; I couldn’t seem to reach him any other way. The door that I |
|
pushed open, on the advice of an elevator boy, was marked “The |
|
Swastika Holding Company,” and at first there didn’t seem to be anyone |
|
inside. But when I’d shouted “hello” several times in vain, an |
|
argument broke out behind a partition, and presently a lovely Jewess |
|
appeared at an interior door and scrutinized me with black hostile |
|
eyes. |
|
|
|
“Nobody’s in,” she said. “Mr. Wolfshiem’s gone to Chicago.” |
|
|
|
The first part of this was obviously untrue, for someone had begun to |
|
whistle “The Rosary,” tunelessly, inside. |
|
|
|
“Please say that Mr. Carraway wants to see him.” |
|
|
|
“I can’t get him back from Chicago, can I?” |
|
|
|
At this moment a voice, unmistakably Wolfshiem’s, called “Stella!” |
|
from the other side of the door. |
|
|
|
“Leave your name on the desk,” she said quickly. “I’ll give it to him |
|
when he gets back.” |
|
|
|
“But I know he’s there.” |
|
|
|
She took a step toward me and began to slide her hands indignantly up |
|
and down her hips. |
|
|
|
“You young men think you can force your way in here any time,” she |
|
scolded. “We’re getting sickantired of it. When I say he’s in Chicago, |
|
he’s in Chicago.” |
|
|
|
I mentioned Gatsby. |
|
|
|
“Oh-h!” She looked at me over again. “Will you just—What was your |
|
name?” |
|
|
|
She vanished. In a moment Meyer Wolfshiem stood solemnly in the |
|
doorway, holding out both hands. He drew me into his office, remarking |
|
in a reverent voice that it was a sad time for all of us, and offered |
|
me a cigar. |
|
|
|
“My memory goes back to when first I met him,” he said. “A young major |
|
just out of the army and covered over with medals he got in the war. |
|
He was so hard up he had to keep on wearing his uniform because he |
|
couldn’t buy some regular clothes. First time I saw him was when he |
|
came into Winebrenner’s poolroom at Forty-third Street and asked for a |
|
job. He hadn’t eat anything for a couple of days. ‘Come on have some |
|
lunch with me,’ I said. He ate more than four dollars’ worth of food |
|
in half an hour.” |
|
|
|
“Did you start him in business?” I inquired. |
|
|
|
“Start him! I made him.” |
|
|
|
“Oh.” |
|
|
|
“I raised him up out of nothing, right out of the gutter. I saw right |
|
away he was a fine-appearing, gentlemanly young man, and when he told |
|
me he was at Oggsford I knew I could use him good. I got him to join |
|
the American Legion and he used to stand high there. Right off he did |
|
some work for a client of mine up to Albany. We were so thick like |
|
that in everything”—he held up two bulbous fingers—“always together.” |
|
|
|
I wondered if this partnership had included the World’s Series |
|
transaction in 1919. |
|
|
|
“Now he’s dead,” I said after a moment. “You were his closest friend, |
|
so I know you’ll want to come to his funeral this afternoon.” |
|
|
|
“I’d like to come.” |
|
|
|
“Well, come then.” |
|
|
|
The hair in his nostrils quivered slightly, and as he shook his head |
|
his eyes filled with tears. |
|
|
|
“I can’t do it—I can’t get mixed up in it,” he said. |
|
|
|
“There’s nothing to get mixed up in. It’s all over now.” |
|
|
|
“When a man gets killed I never like to get mixed up in it in any |
|
way. I keep out. When I was a young man it was different—if a friend |
|
of mine died, no matter how, I stuck with them to the end. You may |
|
think that’s sentimental, but I mean it—to the bitter end.” |
|
|
|
I saw that for some reason of his own he was determined not to come, |
|
so I stood up. |
|
|
|
“Are you a college man?” he inquired suddenly. |
|
|
|
For a moment I thought he was going to suggest a “gonnegtion,” but he |
|
only nodded and shook my hand. |
|
|
|
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and |
|
not after he is dead,” he suggested. “After that my own rule is to let |
|
everything alone.” |
|
|
|
When I left his office the sky had turned dark and I got back to West |
|
Egg in a drizzle. After changing my clothes I went next door and found |
|
Mr. Gatz walking up and down excitedly in the hall. His pride in his |
|
son and in his son’s possessions was continually increasing and now he |
|
had something to show me. |
|
|
|
“Jimmy sent me this picture.” He took out his wallet with trembling |
|
fingers. “Look there.” |
|
|
|
It was a photograph of the house, cracked in the corners and dirty |
|
with many hands. He pointed out every detail to me eagerly. “Look |
|
there!” and then sought admiration from my eyes. He had shown it so |
|
often that I think it was more real to him now than the house itself. |
|
|
|
“Jimmy sent it to me. I think it’s a very pretty picture. It shows up |
|
well.” |
|
|
|
“Very well. Had you seen him lately?” |
|
|
|
“He come out to see me two years ago and bought me the house I live in |
|
now. Of course we was broke up when he run off from home, but I see |
|
now there was a reason for it. He knew he had a big future in front of |
|
him. And ever since he made a success he was very generous with me.” |
|
|
|
He seemed reluctant to put away the picture, held it for another |
|
minute, lingeringly, before my eyes. Then he returned the wallet and |
|
pulled from his pocket a ragged old copy of a book called Hopalong |
|
Cassidy. |
|
|
|
“Look here, this is a book he had when he was a boy. It just shows |
|
you.” |
|
|
|
He opened it at the back cover and turned it around for me to see. On |
|
the last flyleaf was printed the word schedule, and the date September |
|
12, 1906. And underneath: |
|
|
|
Rise from bed 6:00 a.m. |
|
Dumbell exercise and wall-scaling 6:15-6:30 ” |
|
Study electricity, etc. 7:15-8:15 ” |
|
Work 8:30-4:30 p.m. |
|
Baseball and sports 4:30-5:00 ” |
|
Practise elocution, poise and how to attain it 5:00-6:00 ” |
|
Study needed inventions 7:00-9:00 ” |
|
|
|
General Resolves |
|
|
|
* No wasting time at Shafters or [a name, indecipherable] |
|
|
|
* No more smokeing or chewing. |
|
|
|
* Bath every other day |
|
|
|
* Read one improving book or magazine per week |
|
|
|
* Save $5.00 [crossed out] $3.00 per week |
|
|
|
* Be better to parents |
|
|
|
“I came across this book by accident,” said the old man. “It just |
|
shows you, don’t it?” |
|
|
|
“It just shows you.” |
|
|
|
“Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had some resolves like this |
|
or something. Do you notice what he’s got about improving his mind? He |
|
was always great for that. He told me I et like a hog once, and I beat |
|
him for it.” |
|
|
|
He was reluctant to close the book, reading each item aloud and then |
|
looking eagerly at me. I think he rather expected me to copy down the |
|
list for my own use. |
|
|
|
A little before three the Lutheran minister arrived from Flushing, and |
|
I began to look involuntarily out the windows for other cars. So did |
|
Gatsby’s father. And as the time passed and the servants came in and |
|
stood waiting in the hall, his eyes began to blink anxiously, and he |
|
spoke of the rain in a worried, uncertain way. The minister glanced |
|
several times at his watch, so I took him aside and asked him to wait |
|
for half an hour. But it wasn’t any use. Nobody came. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
About five o’clock our procession of three cars reached the cemetery |
|
and stopped in a thick drizzle beside the gate—first a motor hearse, |
|
horribly black and wet, then Mr. Gatz and the minister and me in the |
|
limousine, and a little later four or five servants and the postman |
|
from West Egg, in Gatsby’s station wagon, all wet to the skin. As we |
|
started through the gate into the cemetery I heard a car stop and then |
|
the sound of someone splashing after us over the soggy ground. I |
|
looked around. It was the man with owl-eyed glasses whom I had found |
|
marvelling over Gatsby’s books in the library one night three months |
|
before. |
|
|
|
I’d never seen him since then. I don’t know how he knew about the |
|
funeral, or even his name. The rain poured down his thick glasses, and |
|
he took them off and wiped them to see the protecting canvas unrolled |
|
from Gatsby’s grave. |
|
|
|
I tried to think about Gatsby then for a moment, but he was already |
|
too far away, and I could only remember, without resentment, that |
|
Daisy hadn’t sent a message or a flower. Dimly I heard someone murmur |
|
“Blessed are the dead that the rain falls on,” and then the owl-eyed |
|
man said “Amen to that,” in a brave voice. |
|
|
|
We straggled down quickly through the rain to the cars. Owl-eyes spoke |
|
to me by the gate. |
|
|
|
“I couldn’t get to the house,” he remarked. |
|
|
|
“Neither could anybody else.” |
|
|
|
“Go on!” He started. “Why, my God! they used to go there by the |
|
hundreds.” |
|
|
|
He took off his glasses and wiped them again, outside and in. |
|
|
|
“The poor son-of-a-bitch,” he said. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
One of my most vivid memories is of coming back West from prep school |
|
and later from college at Christmas time. Those who went farther than |
|
Chicago would gather in the old dim Union Station at six o’clock of a |
|
December evening, with a few Chicago friends, already caught up into |
|
their own holiday gaieties, to bid them a hasty goodbye. I remember |
|
the fur coats of the girls returning from Miss This-or-That’s and the |
|
chatter of frozen breath and the hands waving overhead as we caught |
|
sight of old acquaintances, and the matchings of invitations: “Are you |
|
going to the Ordways’? the Herseys’? the Schultzes’?” and the long |
|
green tickets clasped tight in our gloved hands. And last the murky |
|
yellow cars of the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul railroad looking |
|
cheerful as Christmas itself on the tracks beside the gate. |
|
|
|
When we pulled out into the winter night and the real snow, our snow, |
|
began to stretch out beside us and twinkle against the windows, and |
|
the dim lights of small Wisconsin stations moved by, a sharp wild |
|
brace came suddenly into the air. We drew in deep breaths of it as we |
|
walked back from dinner through the cold vestibules, unutterably aware |
|
of our identity with this country for one strange hour, before we |
|
melted indistinguishably into it again. |
|
|
|
That’s my Middle West—not the wheat or the prairies or the lost Swede |
|
towns, but the thrilling returning trains of my youth, and the street |
|
lamps and sleigh bells in the frosty dark and the shadows of holly |
|
wreaths thrown by lighted windows on the snow. I am part of that, a |
|
little solemn with the feel of those long winters, a little complacent |
|
from growing up in the Carraway house in a city where dwellings are |
|
still called through decades by a family’s name. I see now that this |
|
has been a story of the West, after all—Tom and Gatsby, Daisy and |
|
Jordan and I, were all Westerners, and perhaps we possessed some |
|
deficiency in common which made us subtly unadaptable to Eastern life. |
|
|
|
Even when the East excited me most, even when I was most keenly aware |
|
of its superiority to the bored, sprawling, swollen towns beyond the |
|
Ohio, with their interminable inquisitions which spared only the |
|
children and the very old—even then it had always for me a quality of |
|
distortion. West Egg, especially, still figures in my more fantastic |
|
dreams. I see it as a night scene by El Greco: a hundred houses, at |
|
once conventional and grotesque, crouching under a sullen, overhanging |
|
sky and a lustreless moon. In the foreground four solemn men in dress |
|
suits are walking along the sidewalk with a stretcher on which lies a |
|
drunken woman in a white evening dress. Her hand, which dangles over |
|
the side, sparkles cold with jewels. Gravely the men turn in at a |
|
house—the wrong house. But no one knows the woman’s name, and no one |
|
cares. |
|
|
|
After Gatsby’s death the East was haunted for me like that, distorted |
|
beyond my eyes’ power of correction. So when the blue smoke of brittle |
|
leaves was in the air and the wind blew the wet laundry stiff on the |
|
line I decided to come back home. |
|
|
|
There was one thing to be done before I left, an awkward, unpleasant |
|
thing that perhaps had better have been let alone. But I wanted to |
|
leave things in order and not just trust that obliging and indifferent |
|
sea to sweep my refuse away. I saw Jordan Baker and talked over and |
|
around what had happened to us together, and what had happened |
|
afterward to me, and she lay perfectly still, listening, in a big |
|
chair. |
|
|
|
She was dressed to play golf, and I remember thinking she looked like |
|
a good illustration, her chin raised a little jauntily, her hair the |
|
colour of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the |
|
fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without |
|
comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that, though |
|
there were several she could have married at a nod of her head, but I |
|
pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn’t |
|
making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up |
|
to say goodbye. |
|
|
|
“Nevertheless you did throw me over,” said Jordan suddenly. “You threw |
|
me over on the telephone. I don’t give a damn about you now, but it |
|
was a new experience for me, and I felt a little dizzy for a while.” |
|
|
|
We shook hands. |
|
|
|
“Oh, and do you remember”—she added—“a conversation we had once about |
|
driving a car?” |
|
|
|
“Why—not exactly.” |
|
|
|
“You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? |
|
Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me |
|
to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, |
|
straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.” |
|
|
|
“I’m thirty,” I said. “I’m five years too old to lie to myself and |
|
call it honour.” |
|
|
|
She didn’t answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously |
|
sorry, I turned away. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
One afternoon late in October I saw Tom Buchanan. He was walking ahead |
|
of me along Fifth Avenue in his alert, aggressive way, his hands out a |
|
little from his body as if to fight off interference, his head moving |
|
sharply here and there, adapting itself to his restless eyes. Just as |
|
I slowed up to avoid overtaking him he stopped and began frowning into |
|
the windows of a jewellery store. Suddenly he saw me and walked back, |
|
holding out his hand. |
|
|
|
“What’s the matter, Nick? Do you object to shaking hands with me?” |
|
|
|
“Yes. You know what I think of you.” |
|
|
|
“You’re crazy, Nick,” he said quickly. “Crazy as hell. I don’t know |
|
what’s the matter with you.” |
|
|
|
“Tom,” I inquired, “what did you say to Wilson that afternoon?” |
|
|
|
He stared at me without a word, and I knew I had guessed right about |
|
those missing hours. I started to turn away, but he took a step after |
|
me and grabbed my arm. |
|
|
|
“I told him the truth,” he said. “He came to the door while we were |
|
getting ready to leave, and when I sent down word that we weren’t in |
|
he tried to force his way upstairs. He was crazy enough to kill me if |
|
I hadn’t told him who owned the car. His hand was on a revolver in his |
|
pocket every minute he was in the house—” He broke off defiantly. |
|
“What if I did tell him? That fellow had it coming to him. He threw |
|
dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s, but he was a tough |
|
one. He ran over Myrtle like you’d run over a dog and never even |
|
stopped his car.” |
|
|
|
There was nothing I could say, except the one unutterable fact that it |
|
wasn’t true. |
|
|
|
“And if you think I didn’t have my share of suffering—look here, when |
|
I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits |
|
sitting there on the sideboard, I sat down and cried like a baby. By |
|
God it was awful—” |
|
|
|
I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done |
|
was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and |
|
confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up |
|
things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their |
|
vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let |
|
other people clean up the mess they had made … |
|
|
|
I shook hands with him; it seemed silly not to, for I felt suddenly as |
|
though I were talking to a child. Then he went into the jewellery |
|
store to buy a pearl necklace—or perhaps only a pair of cuff |
|
buttons—rid of my provincial squeamishness forever. |
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
|
|
|
Gatsby’s house was still empty when I left—the grass on his lawn had |
|
grown as long as mine. One of the taxi drivers in the village never |
|
took a fare past the entrance gate without stopping for a minute and |
|
pointing inside; perhaps it was he who drove Daisy and Gatsby over to |
|
East Egg the night of the accident, and perhaps he had made a story |
|
about it all his own. I didn’t want to hear it and I avoided him when |
|
I got off the train. |
|
|
|
I spent my Saturday nights in New York because those gleaming, |
|
dazzling parties of his were with me so vividly that I could still |
|
hear the music and the laughter, faint and incessant, from his garden, |
|
and the cars going up and down his drive. One night I did hear a |
|
material car there, and saw its lights stop at his front steps. But I |
|
didn’t investigate. Probably it was some final guest who had been away |
|
at the ends of the earth and didn’t know that the party was over. |
|
|
|
On the last night, with my trunk packed and my car sold to the grocer, |
|
I went over and looked at that huge incoherent failure of a house once |
|
more. On the white steps an obscene word, scrawled by some boy with a |
|
piece of brick, stood out clearly in the moonlight, and I erased it, |
|
drawing my shoe raspingly along the stone. Then I wandered down to the |
|
beach and sprawled out on the sand. |
|
|
|
Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any |
|
lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the |
|
Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to |
|
melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that |
|
flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new |
|
world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s |
|
house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all |
|
human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his |
|
breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic |
|
contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the |
|
last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for |
|
wonder. |
|
|
|
And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of |
|
Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of |
|
Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream |
|
must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He |
|
did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that |
|
vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic |
|
rolled on under the night. |
|
|
|
Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by |
|
year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no |
|
matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further … And |
|
one fine morning— |
|
|
|
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into |
|
the past. |