1. FADE IN: 1 INT. WALSH HOME - DAY 1 CREDITS OVER VARIOUS CLOSE-UPS of the goonies' HANDS and FACES as they perform the secret goony handshake. It is a very poetic, beautifully synchronized series of movements which displays a sense of kinship and brotherhood. We hear the VOICE OF MIKEY, reciting the GOONY OATH, over these images. MIKEY (V.O.) ”1 will never betray my goon dock friends, We will stick together until the whole words ends, Through heaven and hell, and nuclear war, Good pals like us will stick like tar, In the city, or the country, or the forest, or boonies, I am proudly declared, one of the goonies!" FADE TO BLACK: 2 INT. JAIL - CELL BLOCK - DAY 2 FADE IN: CLOSE-UP. The leathery, bullish face of a JAIL GUARD. He SHOUTS. GUARD Feed time! CAMERA PULLS BACK. The guard stands in a dimly lit prison HALLWAY. Rows of JAIL CELLS stretch along the side walls. Crowded-with PRISONERS. The prisoners SHOUT and JEER at the guard. He removes his wooden BILLY CLUB. Giving a HARD RAP to the bars. It ECHOES through the prison. The guard SNARLS. GUARD The longer you animals bark -- the colder yer' lunch gets. The prisoners SIMMER DOWN. The guard inserts a key into the MASTER LOCK. All of the cell doors OPEN. SIMULTANEOUSLY. The prisoners RUSH OUT. HUNGRY. The guard SHOUTS. GUARD 2. Single file. Single file. The prisoners crowd into a LINE. They PASS the watchful guard, who taps his palm.with the threatening billy club. Two ASSISTANT GUARDS lead the prisoners into another hallway. Toward the CAFETERIA. When all of the prisoners have exited, the guard turns to FOLLOW. He PAUSES. Hearing a NOISE. A CREAKING. The guard TURNS. He sees SOMETHING. At hallway's END. In the LAST cell. A DARK FIGURE. SWINGING back and forth. The guard WALKS to the cell. CURIOUS. CAUTIOUS. Hand GRIPPING his gun. He STOPS. Outside of the OPEN cell door. He PEERS inside. He is met with a SHOCKING SIGHT. 3 INT. JAKE'S - CELL - DAY 3 The body of JAKE FRATELLI, a 33 year old excitable boy, strong, muscular, with the face of a KILLER. JAKE is James Caan on speed. He HANGS from a rusty ceiling pipe. His belt is wrapped AROUND HIS NECK. His eyes are CLOSED. His tongue HANGS OUT. Face frozen in a GHASTLY position. His body SWAYS. An obvious SUICIDE. A NOTE is pinned to Jake's chest. The guard ENTERS the cell. He GRABS the note. READING it to'himself. GUARD "You schmuck! You really think I'd be stupid enough to kill myself?" (puzzled) Huh? The guard LOOKS UP. Jake's eyes are OPEN. He is SMILING. VERY ALIVE. Before the guard can react, Jake quickly lifts his KNEE. SLAM! Into the guard's JAW. The guard HITS the floor. OUT COLD. Jake BOOSTS himself out of the noose. We see that the noose is actually attached to a CONTRAPTION that fits around Jake's WAIST. Jake LOOKS into the hallway. Making sure the coast is CLEAR. He begins to UNBUTTON the guard's shirt. CUT TO: 4 EXT. JAIL - DAY 4 Jake RUNS from the jail. A blaring ALARM sounds! A GROUP OF GUARDS run out of the prison, in PURSUIT of Jake. CAMERA PANS TO a waiting BLACK, nondescript, OFF ROAD VEHICLE. 3. Leaning out the window of the driver's side, puffing on a cigarette, is MAMA FRATELLI. She is a 56 year old, heavyset woman, with grey hair and a MENACING, EVIL face. She is part Marjorie Main, part Jungle cat. Her son, FRANCIS FRATELLI, stands outside of the car, holding a can of GASOLINE. Francis is a 31 year old man with dark hair and crazed eyes. He resembles Victor Jory as Injun Joe in the 1938 film "Tom Sawyer". He has just poured a STREAM of gasoline several feet in front of the OFF ROAD VEHICLE. The cops have nearly CAUGHT UP with Jake. Guns DRAWN, they are ready to SHOOT! Mama nonchalantly FLICKS her lit cigarette to the ground. The cigarette IGNITES THE GASOLINE. This creates a literal WALL OF FIRE between the cops and JAKE. Jake and Francis HOP into the car. The Off Road Vehicle DRIVES OFF. 5 INT. O.R.V. - DAY 5 Mama DRIVES. PANICKED. UPSET. She CHECKS the rearview mirror. A second police car joins the chase. The Police are GAINING on them. 6 EXT. EIGHTH STREET - DAY 6 THE POLICE CARS FOLLOW. IN HOT PURSUIT down the steep hill. THE O.R.V. takes a SHORT CUT, through a STOP N' SNACK PARKING LOT. The O.R.V. nearly HITS a Mexican woman, ROSALITA. She is ASKING DIRECTIONS from the store owner, an elderly woman named SYLVIA KEESTER. Rosalita watches in SHOCK as the two police cars shoot past her. In PURSUIT of the O.R.V. 7 EXT. HOUSE WITH BAD PLUMBING - DAY 7 The CHASE continues through A RESIDENTIAL SECTION of town. CAMERA PANS TO ONE PARTICULAR HOUSE, SEVERAL FEET AWAY. We DOLLY INTO THE KITCHEN WINDOW. 8 INT. KITCHEN WITH BAD PLUMBING - DAY 8 MOUTH sits on the kitchen sink, watching an old BLACK and WHITE MOVIE on T.V. Several cop cars CHASE James Cagney’s car, complete with POLICE SIRENS and FLYING BULLETS. Mouth's Father, THE PLUMBER, works on the pipes below. WE SEE THE ONCOMING CHASE through the kitchen window. But Mouth is TRANSFIXED by the television screen. Mouth's FATHER screams. 4. FATHER Turn down that goddamn T.V. and come help me with these pipes! Mouth TRIES to turn down the T.V. but the volume just seems to get LOUDER and LOUDER, as the real chase blazes past the window over Mouth's shoulder, all of it UNSEEN by Mouth. SECONDS before the chase passes the kitchen window, Mouth's Father hits the WRONG PIPE. A GUSH OF WATER blasts through the sink drain. It DOUSES Mouth and SPLATTERS the window. This creates a CURTAIN OF WATER that BLOCKS Mouth's VIEW of the chase. 9 EXT. JUNKYARD - DAY 9 DATA searches through an enormous trash bin, picking up discarded WIRES, CABLES, etc. Data is wearing a WALKMAN. It DROWNS out all sounds. He is tinkering with one of his crude inventions, A BELT BUCKLE SUCTION GUN. Data DECIDES to test his invention. He STEPS away from the trash bin. He PRESSES a button on his BELT that reads "OUT"! The BELT BUCKLE flips open. A suction cup, attached to a long wire, SHOOTS OUT of the buckle. The suction cup STICKS to the trash bin! Data HITS the "IN” button on his belt. Another mechanism causes the wire to REEL the trash bin TOWARD DATA! Data TRIES to turn it OFF! Doesn't work! Suddenly, the trash bin comes to a STOP! Wedged between TWO TELEPHONE POLES! The strong FORCE of the WIRE begins to PULL DATA INTO THE BIN! He CAN’T STOP IT! Data PULLED inside the bin, an instant before the CHASE PASSES BY! 10 INT. O.R.V. - DAY 10 The SPEEDOMETER wavers past 100 mph. Mama GLANCES to the rearview. The cops are still GAINING. Mama takes a SHARP TURN. OUT of the junkyard. THE CHASE CONTINUES. Moving along the MAIN ROAD. 11 INT. O.R.V. - DAY 11 5. Mama is FRENZIED. Wanting to LOSE THE COPS. She makes a QUICK TURN. OFF of the main road. Through the grassy field of a high school football field. 12 EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY 12 TINA TURNER’S "Better Be Good To Me” BLASTS from the stadium speakers. A group* of high school CHEERLEADERS practice along with the music. ANDY, one of the prettiest- girls in town, LEADS the cheerleaders. They are forming a PYRAMID. The chase PASSES BY in the background, UNBEKNOWNST to the CHEERLEADERS. The MUSIC IS TOO LOUD for them to hear. THE O.R.V. LEAPS a small ditch, out of the parking lot, through a wire fence. 13 EXT. STREET - DAY 13 The Fratelli O.R.V. squeals down the street, rapidly overtaking: A LARGE VAN. The elderly СAB OCCUPANTS (SIMON & SIMONE SIMIAN) exchange a contented glance. Simon now looks at his side view mirror, his expression instantly changing to panic as: SIMONE Simon, look out! The van swerves hard right, allowing the Fratelli O.R.V. to screech around it. Now suddenly looming up from behind the right side: A POLICE PATROL CAR! Simon swings the large van back hard left to accommodate the patrol car as: A SECOND PATROL CAR starts to overtake the van from the left side! The van spins in confusion, blocking the road sideways as A THIRD PATROL CAR skids to a stop in front of it, barely avoiding a crash. The OFFICER inside jumps out, heads quickly for the van cab. OFFICER This road only runs two ways, pop, so -- 6. He suddenly stops as he hears FRANTIC POUNDING and AGONIZED SCREAMS from within the rear of the van! Rushing to the side door, the Officer starts to jerk it open as: SIMON No! Don’t! Wait!!! Too late! The door flies open and TWO HUGE GORILLAS leap out, decking the Officer in the process. Grunting and squealing with delight at their new-found freedom, they disappear around the corner of the van. ANGLE ON FAR SIDE OF VAN The dazed Officer rounds the van in pursuit, scratches his gead, puzzled. The Gorillas have disappeared. In b.g. we now see, printed on the side of the van: BONZO THE GREAT AND HIS MATE, with a picture of them driving a small red car. 14 EХТ. PUTTING GREEN & GOLF CLUB - DAY 14 A neatly manicured putting green, part of an elegant country club. TROY PREKINS and his FATHER stand on the green. In b.g. a little red golf cart sits, holding their clubs. Troy hovers seriously over a putt, using the knock-kneed stance made famous by Arnold Palmer. TROY How's this, daddy? MR. PERKINS Don’t lock your knees when you putt, son. Makes you look .like you have to go to the bathroom. Here. Watch me -- ANGLE ON BUSHES The two Gorillas emerge from the bushes, now catching sight of the red golf cart. Eyes dancing with delight, they circle it curiously, then hop in as: BACK TO GREEN Troy has heard something, wheels in time to see the Gorillas take off in the cart! His jaw drops in disbelief. TROY 7. Daddy -- daddy. Two huge hairy things just stole our cart! Mr. Perkins spins around. The cart with the Gorillas is disappearing into the distance. He squints after it, enraged. MR. PERKINS Hairy things, my ass! That's George and Ethel Higgenbottom! I'd recognize them anywhere! (yelling) I see you, Higgenbottom! This could mean your membership, you furball! 15 EXT. TOWN STREET - DAY 15 THE HIGH SPEED CHASE! The two police cars still follow the OEF ROAD VEHICLE! IT CONTINUES through what is normally a very PEACEFUL, COASTAL TOWN. 16 EXT. MARINA - DAY 16 The cars are headed for a MARINA. Several FISHING BOATS are docked here. STEF, a 16 year old girl, WORKS with her Father on a small FISHING BOAT. Seconds before the CHASE passes, Stef, wearing a mask and snorkel, ducks her head into a tank of water, sorting lobsters and crabs. As the chase PASSES out of sight, Stef RESURFACES. She's MISSED all of it. 17 INT. VIDEO PARLOR - DAY 17 CHUNK stands in the window. He is PLAYING a video game, alternating between bits of a giant PIZZA SLICE and a chocolate MILKSHAKE. The REFLECTION of the chase is VISIBLE in the video game window. Chunk TURNS from the window, clumsily SPILLING the milkshake over his shirt and SMEARING the window with pizza. Chunk STARES at the chase. He sees the countless BULLETHOLES in the O.R.V. THE POLICE CARS follow. Chunk’s eyes are WIDE. STARTLED by the exciting chase. He’s the only GOONY who's seen it. 18 EXT. STREET - NEAR O.R.V. RACE START - DAY 18 Mama CHECKS the rear view mirror, seeing the police closing in. The boys LOOK at her in horror. JAKE 8. We’ve had it, Ma. But Mama has NOT LOST her confidence. There is a certain GLEAM in her eyes, as if she'’KNOWS something. She TURNS to her sons. MAMA Duck down, boys! The boys OBEY Mama. Mama REACHES below the seat and removes a HELMET. She puts the helmet over her head and pulls down the DARK face visor. THE R.V. makes a sudden TURN. The Police try to FOLLOW. Mama turns onto the town's MAIN STREET, where a crowd of people have gathered to view THE CAULDRON POINT O.R.V. RACE. 19 EXT. O.R.V. RACE STARTING POINT - DAY 19 Forty NONDESCRIPT OFF-ROAD VEHICLES line up at the starting line. All of their drivers wear HELMETS, their dark face visors PULLED DOWN. MAMA’S O.R.V. drives up to the STARTING LINE and JOINS THE RACE. The STARTING FLAG is waved. The RACE BEGINS. THE POLICE CARS stop at the starting line. The POLICEMEN•get out. Guns RAISED. Ready to SHOOT. But as the countless vehicles pass, the Policemen can only STARE IN CONFUSION. Mama’s O.R.V. is LOST in the crowd of similar vehicles. Her face is HIDDEN in the crowd of similar face helmets. The race DISAPPEARS over a hill. DISSOLVE TO: 20 EXT. O.R.V. RACE STREET - DAY 20 Ridden with bullet holes, Mama’s O.R.V. turns away from the race, taking an ALTERNATE ROUTE. 21 INT. O.R.V. 21 Mama removes her HELMET. She and the boys are LAUGHING. They have LOST the cops. They are FREE. 22 EXT. STREET BY WALSH HOUSE - DAY 22 9. CAMERA STAYS with the O.R.V., as it cruises through the "GOON DOCKS". A small VILLAGE, located in and around the docks. Made up of HOMES and SMALL SHOPS. Several FISHERMAN and BLUE COLLAR WORKERS live here. As the O.R.V. drives out of town, the CAMERA PANS TO -- 23 EXT. WALSH HOME - DAY 23 A 3 STORY house. SIMPLE. PLAIN. This home is in slightly better condition than the others in the Goon Docks. CAMERA DOLLIES into the home’s picture window. A 13 year old boy STARES out the window. MIKEY WALSH. He has obviously JUST MISSED the chase. He gives an ANGRY, BORED shrug. MIKEY Nuthin' exciting ever happens around here anyway! 24 INT. WALSH HOME - RECREATION ROOM 24 Mikey is a 13 year old HYPOCHONDRIAC. CUTE. A wiry, SKINNY body. SHORT for his age. BRACES. SHAGGY brown hair. A "BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN” concert T-shirt. FADED Levis. VELCRO sneakers. Mikey is in that AWKWARD stage of adolescence. His entire body is going through a CHANGE. Mikey gives himself a SHOT OF PROMOTENE MIST. Angrily STARING out the window. MIKEY Who needs the goon docks! Who needs this house! I can't wait to get outta’ here! BRAND (O.S.) Really? Mikey TURNS from the window. His brother, BRAND, hangs UPSIDE DOWN from a chinning bar. In the BACKGROUND. He is attached to the bar by METAL ANKLETS. Brand looks NOTHING like Mikey. Brand is a HANDSOME, MUSCULAR youth. A JOCK. His eyes are deep BLUE. His hair DIRTY BLONDE. He wears gym shorts and a half T-shirt over his TANNED BODY. Mikey gives an HONEST SIGH, letting his TRUE feelings through. MIKEY 10. Naw. I was just tryin' to make myself feel better -- tryin’ to dilute myself -- ’er, dilate myself? -- ah -- dictate? BRAND "Delude" yourself. MIKEY Yeah. BRAND I know how ya’ feel, wimp. I sure am gonna miss this place. CAMERA FOLLOWS Mikey inside the house. We are in the RECREATION ROOM of the Walsh home. CLUTTERED middle class. Sears and Roebuck FURNITURE. Montgomery Ward TELEVISION. J.C. Penney OIL PAINTINGS. Mikey SITS on the sofa. He OPENS a "MAD MAGAZINE" to the back cover. Mikey STARES at Al Jaffee's "FOLD IN". Mikey sits, trying to FIGURE out the Fold In. He REPEATS the answer to himself. He then FOLDS the magazine together. He has GUESSED the correct answer. He TOSSES the magazine on the floor. Mikey STARES. DEPRESSED. CLARKE "MOUTH" DEVEREUX enters. Mouth is the group PRANKSTER. A CLOWN. A 15 year old RICH LITTLE. TALL, GAWKY. CURLY, unkempt hair. A HOMELY kid. He wears a blue plumber's SHIRT, JEANS, and SNEAKERS. Across his shirt's back, bright yellow letters spell out: "DEVEREUX'S PLUMBING". His shirt is still SOAKING WET from the earlier plumbing fiasco. A WRENCH, SCREWDRIVER and other PLUMBING TOOLS poke out of his back pocket. Mouth has a perpetual SMIRK on his face. A devilish GLEAM in his eye. He looks around the room, noticing the feeling of DEPRESSION in the air. Mouth tries to LIVEN things up. MOUTH Wait? What's this? Finklestein's Funeral parlor? Lookit' you guys! Lyin' around like it was a Nuclear Saturday! C'mon dudes! This is our last weekend together! The last GOONY weekend! We should be goin' out in style! Cruisin’ the coast. Sniffin' some lace -- downin' the brews -- (slaps Brand in the stomach, John Belushi impression) 11. But NOOOOOO--! YOU had to screw it up. You had to go and flunk your driving test. Brand reaches out to HIT Mouth. Mouth JUMPS BACK. Out of Brand's REACH. They are INTERRUPTED by the sound of a ringing GATE BELL. Mouth TURNS. MOUTH Jerk alert! Mouth POINTS to the SLIDING GLASS DOORS. LAWRENCE "CHUNK" COHEN is OUTSIDE of the gate. He is RINGING the bell. Chunk is 14 years old. PUDGY. CLUMSY. Chunk is a chronic LIAR, the king of FIBS. He wears a light summer JACKET. A bright colored HAWAIIAN SHIRT. Large plaid BERMUDA SHORTS. BLACK knee socks. Brand NEW sneakers. Chunk SHOUTS to the guys. CHUNK Hey, guys -- Ya' gotta' let me in! I just saw the most amazing thing - - MOUTH First ya' gotta' do the "Truffle Shuffle". It’s obvious that Mouth WON’T let Chunk inside. Chunk SIGHS. He LIFTS up his SHIRT. Chunk EXPOSES his soft, pudgy midsection. Chunk begins to TWIST and SHAKE. His belly JIGGLES. Mouth is bent over with LAUGHTER. Mikey is not AMUSED. He RUNS to the window, GLARING at Mouth. MIKEY Cut it out, Mouth. Mikey OPENS the window. He drops a STONE out of the window. In RUBE GOLDBERG fashion, the rock causes a chain of events that make the gate open for Chunk. Chunk HURRIES through the gate. He ENTERS the house and EXCITEDLY looks at the boys. CHUNK You guys shoulda’ seen it -- cop cars -- chasin’ this four wheel deal -- it was the most amazing thing I ever saw! MIKEY 12. More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom? MOUTH More amazing than the time you ate your weight in Straw Hat pizza? BRAND More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire? CHUNK Honest you guys. This time it’s for real. NO ONE believes Chunk. Suddenly, we HEAR the JAMES BOND THEME! It ECHOES from outside. With that, as if it were some sort of ritual, Mikey STANDS and opens the window. MIKEY’S P.O.V. Mikey SEES RICKY "DATA" WANG. A 13 year old TECHNICAL GENIUS. Data is CHINESE. Small FRAMED. THIN. He wears circular, wire rimmed SPECTACLES. A "PRINCE” T-shirt. JEANS. NIKES. He is never seen without his LARGE, JAPANESE BACKPACK and FLOWING WHITE CAPE. His dark eyes are PIERCING. INTELLIGENT. Data sees himself as Agent 007. Data STANDS on the window of his home. He has ATTACHED himself to a clothes line that CONNECTS Mikey’s house to Data's. A LARGE PORTABLE CASSETTE player is STRAPPED to Data's chest. The Bond Theme BLARES from the cassette. Data FLIES from his house to Mikey's. He SHOOTS through the open window, and FALLS into Mikey, who shoots back, colliding with the bottom half of upside-down Brand, who in turn arcs up, clunking Chunk. Chunk FALLS BACKWARDS and KNOCKS a miniature MARBLE REPLICA of Michaelangel оls DAVID to the floor. The statue lands with a THUD! Chunk NERVOUSLY picks up the statue. It seems to be in ONE PIECE. But he is met with a SHOCKING SIGHT. The statue's penis has CRACKED OFF. Mikey gives himself another SHOT of Promtene Mist, and picks up the broken statue. He HOLDS the statue in one hand and the penis' in the other. Mikey PANICS, holding out the broken penife high in the air. MIKEY Oh my God! This is my Mom's favorite piece! 13. MOUTH You wouldn't be here if it wasn't! Data OPENS a map and looks at the guys. DATA Any a' you guys ever hear of Detroit? MOUTH Great place. It's where Motown started. (Data smiles) Also got the highest murder rate in the Country. DATA (frowns) Well, that's where we’re movin' when we lose our house tomorrow. MIKEY You shut up about that stuff. It'll never happen. Dad'll fix it. BRAND Not unless he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow afternoon. (leads kids to window) C'mon. Check this out. Brand leads the kids to a window. They look out. GOONIES - P.O.V. Three MEN in leisure suits are looking at Mikey’s home. They seem to be discussing the entire area. One of them carries a surveyor’s TRANSIT. They point, gesture and even laugh. One man picks up a straight branch and imitates a golf swing. BRAND Lookit’ em. Smilin’. MOUTH Practic’ly droolin. DATA They can’t wait until tomorrow when they foreclose on all the whatevers -- MOUTH 14. -- and trash the goon docks. BRAND When they wreck dur house, I hope they make it the sand trap -- MIKEY -- and they never get their balls out. DATA (angry) This is war. Go on, Mikey -- Open that window -- I'll get 'em. I got all my special 007 assault options all rigged. (shouts) Glasses of death! He opens his JACKET and REMOVES the cassette player. Inside of his shirt, is a CRUDE DEVICE that is covered with different CORDS. Attached to the cords are SMALL, COLOR CODED PLASTIC RINGS. Data PULLS one of the cords. Two rubber tipped DARTS fly out of the sides of Data’s glasses. The darks MALFUNCTION, pull off Data’s glasses, and ATTACH themselves to the window. Angry, he SCREAMS. DATA Pinchers of peril! He pulls ANOTHER CORD. A mechanical device, very similar to the "chest buster" in “Alien”, BURSTS out of Data’s chest. The device is PLASTIC, MECHANICAL CHATTERBOX TEETH, with a homemade super spring for super grip. It shoots forward ACROSS THE ROOM. The teeth are attached to a thick METAL COIL, similar to a SLINKY. The teeth GRASP ONTO the Walsh DRAPES and HANG THERE. Data TRIES to pull a few more cords. NOTHING works. Data is LOSING his temper, ready to EXPLODE. Mouth puts his ARM on Data’s shoulder to CALM him. MOUTH Cool it, Double-Oh-Negative! MIKEY Yeah, Data. None a’ your stuff ever works anyway. 15. IRENE WALSH, Mikey and Brand’s Mother, ENTERS. Irene is in her early FORTIES. Light BROWN hair. SLENDER. Dressed in a PLAID SKIRT and MONOGRAMMED SWEATER. PRETTY, with a WARM, KIND face. Her arm is in a SLING. BROKEN. Standing with her is Rosalita, a middle-aged, pudgy MEXICAN woman. The new MAID (whom we’ve seen in the first scene). Mikey quickly passes the broken statue of David BEHIND HIS BACK, to Chunk. Chunk nervously COVERS the broken statue with his jacket. Irene LOOKS at Mikey and Brand. IRENE (turns to Rosalita) Boys -- this is Rosalita. (motions to her broken arm) Because of my accident with that spindryer -- Rosalita’s here to help with the packing. The boys WAVE. Rosalita SMILES. IRENE Rosalita doesn't speak a word of English. And I was wondering if, well -- I know some of you have taken Spanish in school-- MOUTH I speak perfect Spanish, Mrs. Walsh. Mikey ROLLS his eyes at Data. Irene SMILES at Mouth. IRENE That’s wonderful, Clarke. I need help explaining some things to Rosalita -- If you would come with us -- Mouth SHOOTS to his feet, hurrying to Irene's side. She TURNS to leave. PAUSING. She NOTICES Brand hanging upside down. IRENE Brandon, dear -- please be careful. Don't get an animalistic --'er, annualism -- Mmmmm, ah -- BRAND That's "anuerism", Ma. IRENE 16. Yes. Right. Anuerism. Irene TURNS and EXITS with Mouth and Rosalita. Chunk CATCHES HIS BREATH. He PICKS up the statue. A large HOLE surrounds the statue's groin. Chunk gives a HOPEFUL look to Mikey. CHUNK Think your Mom’s gonna notice? CUT TO: 25 INT. MASTER BEDROOM WALSH HOME 25 Irene ENTERS with Rosalita and Mouth. Irene walks to a set of DRESSER DRAWERS. She POINTS each drawer out to Rosalita. IRENE Socks and underwear in the top drawer. Shirts and blouses in the second. Pants in the bottom. Always separate the clothes. Rosalita stares BLANKLY. Irene TURNS to Mouth. IRENE Can you translate that? Mouth NOfTs. With an EVIL GRIN, he points out the dresser drawers to Rosalita. MOUTH (Spanish, English subtitles) The MARIJUANA goes in the top drawer. The COCAINE and SPEED in the second. HEROIN in the bottom. Always separate the DRUGS. Rosalita gives a SHOCKED look. Irene smiles, thinking Mouth has translated her directions PERFECTLY. 26 INT. LIVING ROOM 26 CAMERA STAYS BEHIND the statue. The boys TRY to put the statue’s penis back into place. Chunk perforins the DELICATE TASK. Using Elmer’s GLUE. Finished, Chunk gives a HOPEFUL look to the others. CHUNK How’s that? 17. The boys BREAK UP with laughter. Brand SLAPS Chunk in the head. CAMERA CIRCLES to the FRONT OF THE STATUE. Chunk has glued the penis on UPSIDE DOWN. BRAND God didn’t mean it to go that way. If he did -- you’d all be pissing in your faces. 27 INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY 27 Irene EXITS the master bedroom with Rosalita and Mouth. Irene points to a TRAP DOOR in the ceiling. She LOOKS at Rosalita. IRENE That’s the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't like anybody up there. Never. Irene NODS to Mouth. Turning to Rosalita, he begins HIS translation. MOUTH (Spanish, English subtitles) Never go up there. It’s filled with Mr. Walsh's SEXUAL TORTURE DEVICES. Rosalita’s face goes WHITE with fear. 28 INT. BATHROOM 28 Irene and Mouth enter with the HORRIFIED-Rosalita. Irene opens a SUPPLY CLOSET. She POINTS inside. IRENE This is the supply closet. You’ll find everything you-need inside. Brooms. Mops. Insect spray. Lysol. Irene NODS to Mouth. He LOOKS at Rosalita. MOUTH (Spanish, English subtitles) If you do a bad job, you’ll be LOCKED in here with the cockroaches! For two weeks without food and water. 18. 29 INT. RECREATION ROOM 29 Irene, Mouth and a NAUSEOUS Rosalita enter. The boys are GATHERED around the television. Playing MARBLES. Feigning INNOCENCE. IRENE (kiss to his cheek) Thank you, Clarke. That was so nice of you. MOUTH Nice is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh. Irene SPOTS THE’STATUE. Back in its ORIGINAL place. LEAF over its genitals. She sighs, knowing that Chunk is responsible. She TURNS to Chunk. IRENE Lawrence -- (indicates that she wants the statue) Chunk PICKS up the statue and gives it to her. Irene HOLDS the statue. She REMOVES the leaf. The penis begins to FALL OFF the statue. Slowly TILTING. FALLING over. The glue stretches. Mikey sees this and takes a hit from the Promotene Mist. Rosalita is, of course, shocked and makes the sign of the cross. Irene gives a FLUSTERED nod. She TURNS to Brand. IRENE I’m taking Rosalita to the grocery store. I’11 be home in about an hour. IRENE (sees Mikey taking hit) Brandon, you stay inside with Mikey. If he's got asthma -- he shouldn't be out in the rain. BRAND He should be in a plastic bubble. IRENE I'm serious, Brandon. He takes one step outside, and you're -- you're -- 19. (trying to come up with something hip) Dead meat. Brand gives a reluctant sigh. Irene and a frightened Rosalita exit. Brand leaps at Mikey. TACKLING him. BRAND You want a breathin' problem? You got one! Brand holds Mikey in a strangling headlock. Mikey is wheezing, coughing. Mikey struggles in the background. Brand finally pushes Mikey away. Mouth, pondering something, looks at Mikey. MOUTH Hey -- what's your Father gonna do with all that stuff in the attic? MIKEY He's gonna give it back to the museum -- or to whoever they pick to be the new Assistant Curtain -- er, Curley -- BRAND Curator. MOUTH That means it's all gonna go to the rich people anyway. Let's go up and see if there's anything we can take for our parents. Everyone joins in with a "YEAH! COOL! LET'S DO IT!" The kids RUN OFFSCREEN. Only Mikey stays behind, PROTESTING. MIKEY Hey, guys -- My Dad’s responsible for all that stuff -- Don't wreck anything -- I 'll bet the museum’s got a list of it all somewhere -- Guys? Mikey FOLLOWS the guys OFFSCREEN. CUT TO: 30 INT. ATTIC 30 20. DARK. DUSTY. The attic is crowded with historical Cauldron Point museum pieces. They date from the middle and late SIXTEENTH CENTURY. There are OIL PAINTINGS, SCULPTURES, antique FURNITURE, COSTUMES, WHALING HARPOONS, PIRATE AND FISHING MEMORABILIA, etc. A LARGE SKYLIGHT looms over, the priceless collection.BLACK, RAGING storm clouds are visible through the skylight windows. The. oncoming RUMBLING OF THUNDER can be heard. The boys enter through a TRAP DOOR in the floor. Brand is FIRST. He shines his FLASHLIGHT through the attic. The others FOLLOW. Mikey is the last to climb inside. He sees the attic for the FIRST TIME. SHOCKED. AMAZED. All of the boys stare wide eyed at the roomful of items. MOUTH I can't believe somethin’ this cool is in your house. CHUNK Yeah. We only keep old Christmas decorations in our attic. THUNDERCRACK! A FLASH OF LIGHTENING. From the skylight a mosaic of rain patterns slowly dances across the Goonies. MIKEY (frightened) Okay. You guys saw it. Let’s get outta' here. BRAND Whatsa' matter? Scared again? MIKEY Yeah -- just like you in the elevator. Brand's eyes burn. He GRABS Mikey in another headlock. BRAND You shut up about that elevator! You understand? Huh? Mikey forces a nod. Wheezing. Brand releases his grip. Mikey LIES on the floor. Catching his breath. MIKEY Can we go now? It's dusty up here. My hay fever’s actin' up. 21. Brand leads Mikey and the others on a trek through the attic. Mikey follows. Suddenly, a HIGH PITCHED VOICE INTERRUPTS. MOUTH (O.S.) Mikey -- Oh, Mikey -- You're such a cute little boy -- Come and kiss me -- The boys turn to the direction of the voice. It ECHOES from behind the tattered OIL PAINTING of the naked woman and Pirate Captain. A TONGUE juts out of a tear in the woman's mouth, LASCIVIOUSLY licking its lips. Mikey STARES. SHOCKED. Brand and Data SHARE a chuckle. Suddenly, a FINGER pops out of each of the woman's nipples. The fingers twist and turn. Creating a bizarre image. Mouth calls out, again imitating a woman. MOUTH (O.S.) Come here, Mikey. Make me feel like a woman. MIKEY Stop bein' so perverted, Mouth. You're wreckin' the painting. Mouth’s head POPS UP from behind the painting. MOUTH Easy, dude. It was already trashed. The kids continue WALKING through the attic. They INVESTIGATE the various ITEMS. CHUNK What's all this stuff? MIKEY The museum did some kinda' show -- ya' know -- 'bout the history of our town -- It was called -- ah -- Mmmm -- A ratropack? BRAND Retrospective. MIKEY Yeah. Anyway -- these are the rejects. CHUNK Kinda’ like us. 22. Mikey SHRUGS. The boys RUMMAGE through the items. Each of the boys GRABS a particular piece of Pirate CLOTHING or EQUIPMENT. Mikey puts on an EYE PATCH. Mouth and Data find large PIRATE HATS with feathers. Brand GRABS a SWORD. Chunk puts on a Pirate COAT and SCARF. As the boys continue to investiage, Data stares in awe. DATA Just think of it. All this stuff belonged to guys who walked on the same ground that we do -- went swimmin' in the same Ocean, breathed the same air -- CHUNK Yeacchhh. They had to breathe the Herring Factory air too? DATA Naw -- they didn't have herring then. This was right after Christopher Columbus -- the 16th century -- they only had ships. They were adventure guys and explorers -- they made maps and captured Indians and spent all their time killin’ each other with swords -- ya' know -- Errol Flynn stuff. Mikey flips through a collection of framed portraits and photographs, He SPOTS something that catches his interest. A FRAMED MAP. But the map is impossible to read. It is covered by a YELLOWED, DUSTY PIECE OF GLASS. Mikey tries to remove the FRAME. Won't budge. He TURNS over the map. The back is covered by a sheet of WOOD. There is only one way to read the map: Break the glass. Mikey can't bring himself to do it. He sees Chunk STRUGGLING to remove a paint can from his foot. Mikey SMILES. An IDEA. Mikey holds out the map to Chunk. MIKEY Hey, Chunk -- hold this for me. 23. Chunk gives a NOD. He takes the map from Mikey. Mikey turns. Pretending to examine another framed picture. WAITING. Within a matter of seconds Chunk loses his balance. He drops the map. It hits the floor. Its glass covering shatters into a million pieces. Mikey picks up the map. He feigns an ANGRY look at Chunk. MIKEY Can’t you do anything right? Chunk gives an embarrassed shrug. Mikey picks up the map. He removes a few small remaining pieces of glass. The map easily slides out of the frame. Along with a small, golden DOUBLOON that is fixed in the map’s frame. Mikey studies the map and the doubloon. The map is now completely visible. It is beautifully detailed. ELABORATE. HAND PAINTED. All of the writing on the map is in SPANISH. The map is signed “ONE EYED WILLY"! Mikey STARES at the signature. There is an intricate drawing of a coastline. The coastline leads to a mountainous cliff. Below the cliff is a large “X”. CAMERA DOLLIES TOWARD THE "X". Mikey is FASCINATED by the map. Brand suddenly grabs the map out of Mikey's hand. The other guys gather around, all wearing various pieces of Pirate clothing and equipment. Chunk looks over Mikey’s shoulder, studying the Doubloon. CHUNK This says, "1532". 'Zat a year? MOUTH It's your top score on "Pole Position". DATA (running his finger along the map's coastline) Maybe that's how it used to look -- ya' know -- before they put up all the Wendy's and McDonald's. CHUNK All the good stuff. BRAND 24. (points to Spanish phrase that headlines the map) What's all this. Spanish junk? MOUTH (translates) "Chunk's -- Father Screws -- Sheep". Chunk HITS Mouth. Mouth gives an OBNOXIOUS CACKLE and SHRUGS. He translates again. MOUTH "Ye Intruders beware Crushing death and grief. Soaked with blood, Of the trespassing thief" Everyone gives Mouth a puzzled look. Mouth raises his hand in the BOY SCOUT FLEDGE. He's TELLING THE TRUTH. DATA That map's old news. Everybody and his Grandfather went after that thing when our parents were our ages. Didn't ya’ ever hear of that Pirate guy? "One Eyed Willy"? MIKEY Hey! One Eyed Willy! He was the biggest pirate of his time! My Dad told me all about him one night. BRAND Yeah. Dad'll tell you anything to get you to go to sleep. MIKEY (ignoring him, to others) He had millions in treasure, see, but the King sent his ships after him. So Willy took his ship, called-the INFERNO, and ducked into this cave to hide. But the King's men sealed him up inside it with cannon fire. MOUTH Your Dad oughta write Saturday morning TV junk for teeny little kids - like you. MIKEY 25. My Dad tells me the truth! And he told me that Willy and his bunch spent years hiding out down there, building these underground caves, loaded with all kindsa booby traps to protect:the treasure. Chunk finds a NEWSPAPER CLIPPING. It is a framed, yellowed paper with a photo of a smiling man who bears a strange resemblance to Gabby Hayes in a MINER'S HAT. Chunk reads the headline. CHUNK Guys, look at this! "Chester Copperpot Missing in Pursuit of Local Legend! Reclusive Scavenger claims: "I have the key to One Eyed Willy!" DATA Nobody ever found nothing. Why do ya' think that map’s sitting up here instead of in a safety deposit box somewhere! Mikey’s eyes are WIDE. HOPEFUL. MIKEY But -- but what if -- What if, you guys’! What if this leads to "One Eyed Willy’s” rich stuff? BRAND (interrupts, to kids) Take off all that junk. My Mom’s gonna come back. The kids REMOVE all of the Pirate clothing and equipment. The doorbell RINGS and the kids RUSH down to see who is at the front door. 31 INT. RECREATION ROOM 31 Three men in leisure suits stand outside of the screen door, like dangerous apparitions. They talk to the kids as though they were infants. One guys keeps practicing his golf swing. PERKINS Hello, little guys. I'm Mr. Perkins. Troy’s father. 26. BRAND (respectfully) My Dad’s not here,Mr. Perkins. PERKINS Is your Mommy home? BRAND (bristling at this remark) No, sir. She’s out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids. PERKINS (a false laugh) Well, you can give these papers to your Father to read over and sign. Somebody from my office will pick them up in the morning. The door is CLOSED. MIKEY What is all that stuff? BRAND It’s pad’s business. Brand is very depressed. The boys take pause as they look at the complicated legal forms and back out at the departing men. Mikey STARES. DREAMING. MIKEY If I found rich stuff -- I’d pay all my Dad’s bills. Maybe he could get to sleep at night -- instead of sittin' up trying’ to figure out a way for us to stay here. ALL THE BOYS Yeah. Me too. Me three. The boys pause. WORRIED. Brand breaks the silence by suddenly PULLING Mikey by the hair. BRAND You can forget about any adventures, limp lungs —- if I take you out, Mom’ll ground my ass. And I got a date with Andy on Friday. MOUTH 27. You’re dreamin’, dude. Besides -- who’s gonna drive you? Her parents? Then you gotta make it with her and her Mother. BRAND Eat it, Mouth. Brand walks back to his exercise area. Mikey, seeing that Brand is out of sight, sneakily removes the map from beneath his shirt. He opens the map. The guys push in, all looking with dreamy speculation. CAMERA DOLLIES INTO THE MAP. A FLASH OF LIGHTENING sparkles the map. MATCH CUT TO SKY A long, thin crack of lightening shoots across the sky. CUT TO: INSERT - TELEVISION - MTV LOGO INSERT - ONE MARBLE SHOOTING INTO A TRIANGLE OF MARBLES INSERT - A CHEST EXERCISER BEING PULLED ACROSS A TENSE CHEST 32 INT. WALSH HOUSE - DAY 32 RECREATION ROOM. SEVERAL MINUTES LATER. Mikey, Chunk, Mouth, and Data are gathered in the recreation room, PLAYING MARBLES. A look of extreme GUILT covers all their faces. Brand is in the background. He sits in a chair. Shirt off. He pulls a METAL, SPRING CHEST EXERCISER across his chest. Mouth gives a sly look back at Brand. He turns to the others and NODS. They NOD BACK. Mouth, Chunk, and Data sneak up behind Brand. Meanwhile, Mikey GATHERS his marbles and puts them into a small LEATHER POUCH. He stuffs the pouch into his pocket. The kids sneak around the comer. All three quickly grab the chest exerciser out of Brand's hands! They WRAP it around Brand’s chest and arms! Before Brand can react, Mouth CLAMPS the two ends of the exerciser together. Brand is TRAPPED. Unable to MOVE. The exerciser works like heavy metal CHAINS. It SECURES Brand to the chair. BRAND 28. Hey! Wait -- Lemmee out! CUT TO: 33 EXT. WALSH HOUSE 33 The Goonies, walking through the backyard, careful NOT TO WAKE GRANDPA, who lies ASLEEP on a hammock. The kids WHISPER to each other: ALL (whispering) Careful, don't wake Grandpa! Shhh! Don't wake him! Just as the kids round the corner of the house, a devious Mouth gives a light shove to the hammock, causing Grandpa to WAKE. CLOSE UP - TEN SPEED BICYCLE TIRE A hand is LETTING THE AIR out of the tire. CAMERA PULLS BACK. We see that Mouth is letting the air out of Brand's bike tire. In the background, Mikey, Chunk and Data CLIMB ONTO their bikes. MIKEY (to Mouth) It took him 376 lawn jobs to pay for that. It's his most favorite thing in the world. MOUTH Now it’s his most FLATTEST thing in the world. Mikey HEARS Brand SCREAMING from inside. BRAND (O.S.) Mikey -- I'm gonna hit you so hard, when you wake up -- your clothes are gonna be outta' style. Mikey PAUSES. Then FOLLOWS the others. As he SHOOTS out of the driveway, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S "COVER ME" FILLS THE SOUNDTRACK. 34 EXT. STREET - PAST MUSEUM 34 The boys on their bicycles. Each boy's bike fits their INDIVIDUAL personality. The boys PASS the TOWN MUSEUM. 29. Mikey's Father is working on the museum's rooftop, HAMMERING a leaky shingle. Mikey SHOUTS, "Hi, Dad!" to his Father. MR. WALSH HELLO! 35 INT. WALSH HOUSE - RECREATION ROOM 35 Brand is still trapped in the chair. GRUNTING. GROANING. STRUGGLING with the metal springs. Brand causes the chair to bounce and move backwards. The kitchen door suddenly OPENS. ROSALITA, the maid, stands in the doorway. Her arms are filled with GROCERIES. She sees Brand BOUNCING TOWARD HER. Like an oncoming freight train. This bizarre image only confirms her WORST FEARS about this house. Rosalita screams and DROPS her groceries. Irene walks up BEHIND Rosalita. Irene sees the bonded Brand bouncing on the chair. She CHUCKLES. IRENE Brandon. Why can't you do sit ups or push ups like normal kids? Irene and a HORRIFIED Rosalita walk by. Brand gives a HELPLESS look. CUT TO: 36 EXT. STOP ’N SNACK 36 Mouth, Chunk, Data and Mikey SPEED by on their bikes. Mikey HOLDS the open map. His eyes constantly GLANCE to it. He is OBSESSED with following the map. Up ahead is the Stop ’N Snack. Teenage hangout. Mouth, Chunk, and Data turn their bikes toward the Stop 'N Snack. Mikey continues forward. He suddenly STOPS, realizing that the kids have left him. Mikey TURNS and sees the others entering the STOP ’N SNACK. He SHOUTS and holds up the MAP. MIKEY Hey, guys -- what about this? Huh? 37 EXT. WALSH HOUSE 37 Brand RUNS out the front door, chest exerciser in hand. We HEAR Irene SHOUT from inside. 30. IRENE Don’t come home without your brother! Or I’ll commit Hare Krishna. BRAND (mumbles to himself) That’s Hare Kari, Ma. Brand sees the air OUT of his bike tires. His eyes FILL with RAGE. He KICKS the bicycle over. He LOOKS around. Riding in the driveway is Data’s SISTER. She is riding a TINY GIRL’S BIKE. Painted bright purple, with pink flowers. TRAINING WHEELS are attached to the rear wheels. Brand has NO other choice. It's the ONLY means of transportation in sight. He rims to the driveway, PICKS UP THE GIRL, removing her from the bike. Brand HOPS on the bike. He PAUSES, looks back to the girl and gives her the CHEST EXERCISER. BRAND Here. Trade ya'. The girls STARES at the exerciser. Brand AWKWARDLY pedals out of the driveway. The girl BURSTS into tears. 38 INT. STOP N' SNACK 38 SYLVIA KEESTER, an OBESE, ELDERLY woman, works the CHECK- OUT COUNTER. Data is purchasing a pack of baseball cards. Sylvia rings up the order on the COMPUTER CASH REGISTER. The computer JAMS. Sylvia POUNDS the cash'register. FRUSTRATED. Data OPENS a tiny door on the register. He begins to fiddle with two small WIRES. Mouth stands by the MAGAZINE RACK. A sly look in his eyes, Mouth slips a copy of "PLAYBOY" magazine behind a copy of "OMNI". He begins to READ. Chunk stands beside the JUNK FOOD. He LOOKS around. Coast is CLEAR. Chunk HURRIEDLY tears open a Twinkie. He quickly SLURPS out the Twinkle's creme filling. He REWRAPS the hollow twinkie and puts it BACK ON the shelf. Mikey enters the store. He RUSHES over to Chunk. Mikey WAVES the map in Chunk's fate. MIKEY 31. Hey, Chunk -- C'mon -- we were gonna look for rich stuff -- we gotta do something now!! Chunk is TOO BUSY eating Hostess fillings to speak with Mikey. A frustrated Mikey RUNS over to Data, who is still fiddeling with the cash register. MIKEY Data, what if they make us move? Where we gonna go? SYLVIA Don't bother 'im while he's workin. Mikey SIGHS. He RUNS to Mouth. MIKEY What if they start tearing down our houses? MOUTH Easy, dude -- let your folks handle this. That's their job -- our job is to get through theweekend without destroying too many braincells. Mikey gives himself a SHOT of Promotene Mist. He grabs a MAD MAGAZINE, and as always, guesses the FOLD IN. He suddenly NOTICES something. On the LOWER magazine rack. It's a section of dusty, "CAULDRON POINT" TOURIST MAPS. Mikey GRABS one of the maps and OPENS it. Meanwhile, Chunk has made his way to the FROZEN TREAT FREEZER. He OPENS the freezer door. He pokes his head deeply INSIDE. Out of sight, he opens a container of HAGEN DAAS. He takes a few LICKS from the top. Then quickly CLOSES the lid. He GRABS another container. He's going to SAMPLE everything. Data still FIDDLES with the cash register. It suddenly BEEPS and LIGHTS. It's WORKING again. Good as NEW. Sylvia gives a satisfied RUFFLE to Data's hair. Sitting on the floor, Mikey has OPENED the tourist map and the museum map. He has laid them SIDE BY SIDE. Mikey is COMPARING the two. CAMERA DOLLIES INTO THE TWO MAPS. The coastline paths of both maps are IDENTICAL. Several key ROCKS and CLIFFS also MATCH. Mikey's eyes are BRIGHT. HOPEFUL. He NODS to himself. MUMBLING. 32. MIKEY I know where this is. Suddenly, Mouth's VOICE echoes through the store. MOUTH Jerk alert! Mouth POINTS to the’ ENTRANCE DOOR. TROY PERKINS struts in. Like he OWNS the place. Troy is 17 years old. TAN. COCKY. He's dressed in a white POLO TENNIS OUTFIT. EXPENSIVE tennis shoes. His hair is neatly STYLED. A spoiled rich BRAT. He lives in an expensive home on the HILLSIDE. Walking BESIDE Troy is ANDREA "ANDY” CARMICHAEL. She is 16 years old. The face of an ANGEL. Smooth, CREAMY complexion. Her thick, BRIGHT RED hair falls to her shoulders. Her bright GREEN eyes are dazzeling. She is SLENDER. Filled with ENERGY. A BEAUTY. Still in her cheerleaders outfit. She is wearing Troy's WHITE LETTER SWEATER. Troy's name is written in SCRIPT on the bottom of the sweater. Andy also lives on the HILLSIDE. Walking beside Andy is STEFANIE "STEF" STEINBRENNER, also age 16. Andy’s BEST FRIEND. Stef is short. PUDGY. Dark brown hair. GLASSES. She is wearing Denim FISHERMAN COVERALLS. STEF IS TOUGH. QUICK WITTED. BRIGHT. SHE LIVES IN THE "GOON DOCKS". Troy walks straight to the MAGAZINE RACK. He GRABS the "Playboy” Magazine from Mouth and begins to PAGE through. Mouth, so ANGRY he's been rendered speechless, GLARES at Troy. Mouth BACKS OFF and picks up another magazine. Mikey SEES Andy. A VISION. He stares at her with ADORING EYES. Stef and Mouth EXCHANGE a glance. Stef CRINKLES her nose. STEF You still smell like a plumber’s son. MOUTH You still smell like a fisherman's daughter. Troy NUDGES Andy. TROY Hey, Andy! 33. She turns. Troy holds up the "Playboy" CENTERFOLD, Written above the photo, in large red letters, are the words, "CAN YOU MEASURE UP"? Troy gives a LECHEROUS GRIN to Andy. TROY Can YOU measure up? Andy looks away. EMBARRASSED. Troy emits a HORSE LAUGH. Mikey gives a painfully HONEST look to Andy. MIKEY You're a lot prettier than that, Andy. Andy SMILES. Giving a casual, BROTHERLY, ruffle to Mikey’s hair. Mikey SMILES. In HEAVEN. Meanwhile, Chunk still has his head BURIED IN THE FREEZER. Troy NOTICES. He WALKS over. He BRINGS the freezer door down on Chunk's head. TRAPPING Chunk in the freezer. Chunk PANICS. Troy CHUCKLES. TROY My Mom's makin' a "Goon Pizza" tonight. She's gonna need some frozen dough. Mikey notices. He SHOUTS to Troy. MIKEY Why don’t you leave 'im alone?!? Troy PAUSES. He RELEASES his grip on Chunk, Troy WALKS back to Mikey. TROY Did I hear right? Did I hear a Goony telling me what to do? Troy TOWERS over Mikey. He’s ready to HIT Mikey, when he notices the ANCIENT MAP. RESTING on the floor. He REALIZES that it’s important to Mikey. He TURNS from Mikey and GRABS the old map. Mikey CLAWS at Troy. MIKEY Let go. That's art you're messin’ with. 34. Troy holds the map HIGH in the air. ABOVE Mikey's reach. Troy is CONFUSED by the map. But he realizes its IMPORTANCE to the boys. Troy grabs a pack of cigarette TOBACCO from the counter. He POURS the tobacco out onto the map. He begins to ROLL the map. Like a CIGARETTE. He gives an EVIL grin to the boys. TROY Just can't get rolling papers like this anymore. Mikey TRIES to grab the map. Troy gives him a HARD SHOVE. It KNOCKS Mikey to the floor. Troy FINISHES rolling the large "cigarette”. He removes a Butane LIGHTER from his pocket. FLICK. A large FLAME APPEARS. Troy MOVES the flame to the end of the "cigarette". He LIGHTS UP! The boys WATCH in horror as Troy takes a LONG PUFF. The end of the map BURNS! CRINKLING! Mikey HIDES his eyes. Troy blows out SMOKE RINGS. He gives a relieved SIGH. A few more puffs and the map will be destroyed! Troy moves to take ANOTHER PUFF. Mouth WALKS up. He RAISES his eyebrow, doing his JACK NICHOLSON impersonation. MOUTH Ya' know -- the way you're puffing' on that cigarette -- it reminds me of somethin’. TROY Yeah? What's that? MOUTH The time I french kissed your Mother. Troy’s eyes fill with MURDER. He DROPS the map. LEAPING for Moutn. Mikey quickly GRABS the map. STOMPING out the fire. Troy has TACKLED Mouth. He is THROWING punches; Mouth COVERS his face. Mikey LEAPS onto Troy. Mikey GRABS Troy around the neck, trying to pull him OFF MOUTH. In the background, Data tries to HELP Mikey! Data opens his shirt and PULLS A CORD! He SHOUTS "SMOKE SCREEN”! A RUBBER GARDEN HOSE shoots out of Data's sleeve. But instead of emitting a steady stream of smoke, the hose slowly SMOLDERS. Data holds his arm in pain, as if it were ON FIRE. He RUNS to an ICE MACHINE and hurries his arm INTO THE ICE! A smile of RELIEF covers his face. Meanwhile, Troy is busy DEFENDING himself against Mikey. 35. Troy turns and GRABS Mikey with his left hand. Troy PULLS BACK his right hand, ready to PUNCH Mikey in the face. As Troy's hand FLIES TOWARD Mikey, it is suddenly GRABBED, STOPPED in midair, by another HAND. CAMERA PULLS BACK. We see that BRAND has grabbed hold of Troy's fist. Brand GLARES at Troy. BRAND Nobody hits my brother except me! AFRAID of Brand, Troy gets off Mikey. The boys are RELIEVED. Brand GRABS Troy by the shirt. Ready to FIGHT. Troy LOOKS away. SCARED. Mikey WATCHES, his eyes beaming with PRIDE. Brand RELEASES his grip on Troy. Troy STANDS. FORCING a cocky grin, he looks at all of the goonies. TROY Can’t wait till Monday -- when my'Dad kicks you all out in the street. (imitates golf swing) While you goonies are pilin’ all your stuff into moving vans -- I’ll be teeing off on what used to be your front lawns. Troy CHUCKLES. He TURNS to Andy. TROY Our court time starts in five minutes. I’ll be waiting outside. Andy gives a NONCHALANT shrug. Brand TURNS to Andy. He shoots her a JEALOUS look. Troy STRUTS out of the STOP 'N SNACK. THROUGH the window, tie see him get into his bright red, MUSTANG convertible. Mikey has UNROLLED the map. It has SURVIVED the burning with only a tiny singed edge. Brand TURNS to Andy. Their eyes MEET, a look of tragic desire! They want to be together, but this isn't the time - - She FLASHES her pretty eyes. Brand sorts of melts down. Brand TURNS to Mikey. He GRABS the map from Mikey. SLAPPING Mikey's head. BRAND Mom’s waitin’ for you. You just blew your whole life, pal. (to the other guys) 36. The rest of you guys, too -- you're all history. We don't need friends like you in our lives! With that, Brand tucks the map into his back pocket. Mouth walks up to Brand. Mouth turns on the phony charm, putting his arm around Brand. Mouth starts to sing. MOUTH "Here's to good friends, tonight is kinda' special; The beer we pour, must be something more somehow--" As he continues to sing, Motith uses his FREE HAND to remove the map from Brand's pocket. Brand SHOVES Mouth away. BRAND You don't have to drink to make friends, wimp. Mouth turns to the other goonies and SHOWS them the map. They make a RUN for it. A befuddled Brand reaches into his back pocket, realizing that the map is gone. He RUNS after the kids. 39 EXT. STOP 'N SNACK - DAY 39 Mikey, Mouth, Data and Chunk hurriedly RIDE OFF on their bicycles. Mouth holds THE ROLLED MAP UNDER HIS ARM. Brand DASHES outside. He SEES the boys RIDE OFF into, the distance. 40 EXT. STREET LEADING OUT OF TOWN - DAY 40 CLOSE UP - MIKEY, checking the MAP. CAMERA PULLS BACK. The kids are riding their bikes, moving further up the coastal highway. The Springsteen song BLASTS from Data’s stereo. The kids CONTINUE to look back. 41 EXT. COUNTRY CLUB ROAD - DAY 41 Chunk TURNS to his RIGHT. He sees the HILLSIDE COUNTRY CLUB. Chunk points to the Club, looking at Data. 37. CHUNK My Dad tried to join there once. When he still had his job. But they wouldn't let us in. DATA You kiddin'? They wouldn’t let none of us in. That place is kinda’ like the "Dairy Queen". They only got one flavor. 42 EXT. ROAD NEAR ROCKS - DAY 42 MIKEY'S P.O.V. - THREE TALL NARROW ROCKS jut out of the ocean. In a "V" PATTERN. Mikey PAUSES. THINKING to himself. MIKEY I know this place -- It HITS him. A REALIZATION! Mikey NODS to himself. MIKEY That’s it. That's it. CAMERA PANS FROM MIKEY. TO HIS P.O.V.: A TALL, NATURAL OBELISK. It stretches several HUNDRED FEET into the air. A very steep HILL. Very WIDE. Lined with JUTTING, JAGGED rock. The Coastal Road is DIRECTLY in front of it -- At the obelisk, the road makes a SHARP TURN. Veering off into a different DIRECTION. 43 EXT. ROAD THROUGH WOODS - DAY 43 Brand is way behind the kids, furiously pedaling the girl's pink bicycle. Troy’s red Mustang is coming up behind Brand. The Mustang starts to smoke rubber, and reduces speed from 75 to 5 MPH. The Mustang rides BESIDE Brand. Troy CHUCKLES. Andy LOOKS away, embarrassed. Stef TURNS to Andy. STEF No wonder he can't get a license. Brand TURNS away. Angrily HUFFING and PUFFING. As Andy and Stef look at Brand, Troy is slyly adjusting the rearview mirrow, tilting it downward in order to see down into Andy's shirt. Andy NOTICES. She GLARES at Troy. ANDY 38. Troy -- you touch that mirror again and I swear to God I'll sock you in the mouth! Troy quickly MOVES his hand from the mirror. Andy LOOKS BACK to Brand, trying to be NICE. ANDY Brand -- Can we give you a lift somewhere? Brand SMILES, his eyes locking with Andy's in a moment that tells us they're "communicating". Troy NOTICES this and fumes. He forces a SMILE to Brand. TROY Yeah, Walsh -- Grab hold of somethin' you can handle. Brand GRABS hold of the door handle. Troy TIGHTLY grasps Brand's wrist. Troy TURNS UR the radio and floors the gas. Brand is TRAPPED. The Mustang is true to its stats, it goes from zero to sixty in 8.0 seconds -- and so does Brand. The bike pedals are churning so quickly, Brand has to lift his feet from the bike. Andy SCREAMS. ANDY Troy!!! Let 'im go!!!! You're going too fast!! You're gonna kill 'im!! Let ’im go!!! Troy NODS and releases his grip on Brand. Troy SMILES at Brand. TROY So long, sucker. The Mustang makes a SHARP TURN OFF the main road. But Brand KEEPS going. His training wheels FALL OFF. All the rubber on the tires peel off, smoke, and the bike moves only on the rims, SPARKING LIKE MAD! The little bike is last seen DISAPPEARING off the shoulder and into a field of tall grass. 44 INSERT - EXT. ROAD WITH MOSSY TREES 44 The boys follow the map. 45 INSERT - EXT. BRIDGE BY BEACH 45 39. They walk their bikes across the bridge. 46 INSERT - EXT. ROCKY BEACH 46 Mikey knows where they're headed. 47 INSERT - EXT. HOLLOW WITH MOSSY TREES 47 They continue to follow the map. 48 INSERT - EXT. SPOT TO TRIANGULATE ROCKS 48 Mikey is able to line up the 3 rocks and the lighthouse through the notches in the coin. 49 EXT. HILL ABOVE LIGHTHOUSE - DAY 49 Mikey arrives at the top. Data and Chunk are BEHIND him, followed by Mouth. They stand on the EDGE of the hill. They are met with a SURPRISING SIGHT. BELOW the boys, on the opposite side of the hill, is a tiny AREA OF LAND. A MINI-PENNINSULA. Thrashing ocean waves and jutting rocks surround the grassy penninsula. A small CEMETARY is built on a small section of land. POTTER'S FIELD. Crowded with old, crooked, GRAVESTONES. Built BESIDE the cemetary is -- 50 EXT. LIGHTHOUSE LOUNGE - DAY 50 A rectangular, ONE STORY building. RUN DOWN. DISTORTED by the years. Its white wood exterior is CRACKED AND ROTTING. The building is CROOKED. Its windows TWISTED and DIRTY. A broken red and green NEON SIGN hangs over the building. A TALL, CROOKED LIGHTHOUSE is built beside the building. An OPEN-CLOSED sign hangs in the front door window. The heavy wind BLOWS the sign. SPINNING it around. We AREN'T CERTAIN if the place is open or closed. SHADOWS pass by the dirty windows. There is a SINISTER, EERIE quality to this place. Mikey STARES. In AWE. MUMBLING to himself, he excitedly looks at the map. But the map seems to END. Mikey is PUZZLED. He suddenly gets an idea. He FOLDS the map like a MAD MAGAZINE back cover. To Mikey's delight, the folded pieces form another MAP. Mikey REMOVES the doubloon from his pocket. When he PLACES the doubloon over the map, everything appears to be more CLEAR. He gets everyone's ATTENTION, pointing to the map. 40. MIKEY See this -- here's where we are now. Mikey POINTS to the "X" below the cliff. SMALL FOOTPRINTS have been sketched on the map. They FORM a line from the bottom of the hill to the "X". MIKEY This is where the rich stuff’s buried -- (POINTS back to house) Down there some place. Mouth reads the SPANISH phrase written beside the footprints. MOUTH "Six times five, Stretching feet, To lowest point, Get the treat!" The boys PAUSE. Figuring out the RIDDLE. MIKEY Six times five. That's thirty. DATA Stretching feet -- your feet stretch when you walk -- MIKEY I got it! If we walk 30 paces -- to the lowest point -- we'll get the treat -- the rich stuff! CHUNK (gets a chill) I dunno -- it's gettin’ late -- My Mom's gonna be worried. Besides -- what's that place doin' open in the fall? It's only a summer place. Seems pretty creepy to me. The kids suddenly NOTICE something. They TURN to the lounge. A DARK CAR pulls into the driveway. TWO TALL MEN, wearing dark, business suits, get out. They WALK to the restaurant door. They ENTER. Data TURNS to Chunk. DATA See. There's nuthin' to be scared of. Two other customers are goin' in. 41. CHUNK Maybe they ain't customers -- maybe they're drug dealers or somethin'. DATA Drug dealers? Did you see their clothes? J.C. Penney Polyester. Drug dealers wouldn't be caught dead in those rags. MIKEY Data, did you bring your binoculars? Data is frantically searching for the right cord, wanting to answer the call of duty. He mumbles to himself. DATA Yeah -- binoculars -- binoculars -- (finds the right cord, nods and screams) Spy Eyes! Data pulls one of his CORDS’from beneath his shirt. A mechanical device RAISES from Data's chest, with a pair of cheap opera glasses attached to the end. The glasses stop in front of Data’s eyes. But when he moves to look through them, the glasses fly from their place and shoot forward. Data gives a shrug. Mouth looks over Mikey's shoulder at the map. MOUTH So what made you think nobody ever followed this map before and made, off with whatever's buried there? MIKEY They could've. But I never heard of anybody finding more stuff than alreadys in the museum. And anyway, to grownups, this is already worth enough. Some arky-logicalists dig up a map that's a bundha' years old -- they throw a wooden frame around it, hang it in a museum, and call it art. MOUTH 42. Okay -- but, how're we s'posed to dig for anything? Knock on the door? Ask whoever's there -- "S'cuse me -- mind if we wreck your floor?" MIKEY Look. The place is obv'sly open for bizness -- We can pretend like we're cornin' in for somethin' to eat -- then joint the case. CHUNK Wha--? DATA He means, "case the joint". Mikey NODS. The others PAUSE. THINKING. CUT TO: 51 EXT. LIGHTHOUSE - DAY 51 The Goonies walking through the GRAVEYARD. Mikey LEADS them toward the "LIGHTHOUSE LOUNGE". Suddenly, a LOUD CRACKING SOUND is heard. Like a FIRECRACKER. Followed by ANOTHER. And ANOTHER. The boys FREEZE. SCARED. LOOKING AROUND. CHUNK That sounded like gunshots. Not the big ones you hear in war movies, but real ones. MIKEY Gunshots! Jeeeezzz -- Chunk, turn off your brain. Somebody probably dropped a pot in the kitchen! Mikey CONTINUES to move forward. The boys FOLLOW. They are now a little SHAKEN. Eyes DARTING back arid forth. A bit more cautious. They arrive at the front of the building. Mouth peers through the filthy FRONT DOOR windows. Mikey and Data walk to the side of the building. They try to LOOK into the windows. TOO HIGH. The boys spot a PILE of discarded ORANGE CRATES. They stand the orange crates on end. Climbing up onto them. 43. They PEER through the windows. Chunk WALKS to an outdoor soda machine that sits next to a closed garage. Chunk tries to peer into the garage, starts to open the door, INVESTIGATING IT. GOON KIDS P.O.V. A SHUT DOWN seafood restaurant. DARK. DUSTY. Seemingly DESERTED. Tattered FISH NETS, wooden OARS, stuffed FISH hang on the walls. Red VINYL BOOTHS line the walls. WOODEN TABLES fill the floor. A JUKEBOX sits in one comer. The goonies see TWO PEOPLE standing in the rear of the restaurant. In DARKNESS we can see only their shadows. They drag two long, limp, heavy objects into a back room. It is TOO DARK for us to see what the objects are. Once the two figures disappear, the goonies WALK to the restaurant's front door. 52 EXT. LIGHTHOUSE GARAGE - DAY 52 Chunk PUSHES the garage door! The door flies OPEN! The orange slanted rays of a late day sun hit the black OFF ROAD VEHICLE, igniting it, over forty bullet holes, and a shattered rear window. CHUNK ALMOST DROPS DEAD. He RUNS to tell the guys, but they are already ENTERING the restaurant. 53 INT. LIGHTHOUSE LOUNGE - DAY 53 The Goonies enter. Looking around. Everything is SILENT. DESERTED. Chunk races inside and starts pulling at everybody's clothing, trying to signal them with bizarre hand signs and wild descriptive gestures that make him look totally not of this earth. He finally gets out a FEW WORDS. CHUNK Guys -- guys -- we gotta' get outta' here!! I just saw the -- Chunk is INTERRUPTED by the SOUND OF A SLAMMING DOOR! The kids nearly JUMP out of their skin! They turn to the DIRECTION of the sound! 44. The SHADOW of a person stands by the restaurant door. The person has JUST CLOSED the door. They step FORWARD. INTO THE LIGHT. IT IS MAMA FRATELLI! We immediately RECOGNIZE HER from the earlier JAIL BREAK. She GLARES, at the boys. MAMA How long you-hoys been at that window? MOUTH (trembling) L-L-L-L-Long enough to see that this place needs about 400 Roach Motels. Immediately, Mama takes a strong dislike to Mouth. Chunk is in the background frantically signaling and mouthing don't piss her off. She LEADS the boys to a table. She CALLS to the back room. MAMA Jake -- we got customers. We hear a LOTTO THUMP from the back room. Followed by Jake’s VOICE. JAKE (O.S.) Whattayou mean customers!?! This ain't no rest-- Jake pokes his head out. He sees the KIDS. He PAUSES. MUTTERING under his breath. JAKE Shit. Mama SNAPS her fingers at her son. MAMA Now go on. Get in the kitchen. Warm up the stove. Jake RELUCTANTLY walks to the kitchen. He walks PAST the Goon kids. Jake GLARES down at the kids. Eyes filled with ANGER. He enters the KITCHEN. The kids take their seats at a CROOKED TABLE. It is IMPOSSIBLE to eat a meal at this table. It is WOBBLY. DIRTY. STICKY. Set with filthy, YELLOWED dishes and RUSTY silverware. 45. Mikey LIFTS his fork. It is attached to the table by a long, gooey WAD OF CHEWED GUM. Throughout this, Chunk is trying to gesture and explain to the boys, but he is so excited, ONLY AIR comes out. Mama TOWERS over the boys. FROWNING down on them. MAMA Okay -- we got a specialized menu here. We serve one thing. "Fresh Fish Surprise". CHUNK What kinda fish? MAMA (slamming her hand on the table) I said it's a surprise! CHUNK (scared) Okay -- Okay I'll take it. MAMA What about the rest of ya? The other guys exchange NERVOUS glances. MIKEY Just a glass of water for me. Everyone follows Mikey and ORDERS WATER. Mama NODS. MAMA Okay -- One surprise and five waters. 'Zat it? MOUTH (out of extreme nervousness, forces an Italian accent) I’d like a' the Antipasto salad -- the fettucini Alfredo -- the a Veal Scallopine -- and a bottle of Botticelli -- 1981. An angry Mama LEANS toward Mouth. She GRABS his tongue. BETWEEN HER fingers. PINCHING. She removes a POCKET KNIFE from her pocket. She MOVES the blade to Mouth’s tongue. Ready to CUT. MAMA 46. We got one more thing on the menu - - TONGUE! (a menacing smile) You boys like tongue? The boys all SHAKE THEIR HEADS. SCARED. Mama catches herself. She MOVES the knife away. RELEASING her grip on Mouth's tongue. Mama smiles falsely, and walks back to the kitchen's SWINGING DOORS. Mouth COVERS his mouth. In PAIN. Mikey GETS UP from his chair. He begins to LOOK AROUND. SEARCHING for a spot on the floor, a trap door, anything that would indicate a buried treasure. LOUD ARGUING IS HEARD from the kitchen. JAKE (O.S.) But, Ma -- this was s'posed to be our dinner -- MAMA (O.S.) Just shut up. Shut up and do what I told ya. The boys at the table LOOK at each other. FRIGHTENED. DATA What about those two guys who came in before us? What happened to them? CHUNK (finally able to talk) Guys, look -- if we don’t get outta’ here now -- there’s gonna be some kinda’ hostage crisis -- (out of breath, gesturing in a big whisper) Garage -- four wheel drive -- bullet­holes the size of Big Macs - - MOUTH Chunk, I’m startin’ to O.D. on all your bullshit stories. A LOUD SOUND suddenly echoes through the place. CHURNING. BUMPING. WHIRRING. It sounds like a WASHING MACHINE gone BERSERK. The kids EXCHANGE a FRIGHTENED GLANCE. We hear the voice of a man SCREAMING OBSCENITIES. On the far wall A DOOR FLIES OPEN! A MAN STORMS OUT! It's FRANCIS FRATELLI. 47. His clothes and body are SPLATTERED, STAINED by a DARK GREEN INK. He is SCREAMING. BOILING MAD. He is YELLING across the hallway to Mama, holding up his hand. A drawing of Ullyses S. Grant has been STAMPED onto his hand. FRANCIS How the hell am I s’posed to finish up downstairs -- with that piece of Smithsonian shit I got to work with?! Francis sees the table of kids. STARING at him. Francis PAUSES. STARTLED. He COVERS the stamp on his hand and DASHES back through the door. As if he were caught doing something WRONG. We hear him latching several LOCKS on the door behind him. The boys exchange another MYSTERIOUS GLANCE. The KITCHEN DOORS SHOOT OPEN! Mama STRADDLES OUT! Carrying a tray of GLASSES in one arm. The metal CLEAVE’R in the other. The glasses are filled with RUSTY, ORANGE COLORED WATER. Small PARTICLES float in the water. Mama DISTRIBUTES a glass of water to each of the boys. They STARE at the water’s ODD color. MOUTH 'Zis s’posed to be water? MAMA It’s wet ain’t it? DATA (nervous laugh) Yeah -- sure -- looks great. MOUTH If ya' like drinkin' mule piss. Mama TURNS to Mouth. RAGE in her eyes. Mouth starts pouring his water from one glass to the other. It sounds a little like going to the bathroom. This is driving Mikey crazy. He starts to bounce up and down on his seat, knocking his knees together. He excitedly whispers to Mouth. MIKEY Cut it out, Mouth! This is the sorta place that has Daddy Long- legs in the restroom. 48. The kitchen doors FLY OPEN again. Jake exits. He is wearing APRONS. Covered with BLOOD. His hands and arms are also STAINED with blood. He is carrying A HUGE STEAMING POT. A ladel RESTS in the pot. He RESTS the pot on the table. LOOKING at the boys. JAKE Who ordered fish surprise? Chunk nervously raises his hand. Jake ladels the GROTESQUE contents of the pot into Chunk's plate. The fish surprise is made up of a black, JELLIFIED LIQUID. Loaded with FISH HEADS and BONES. Chunk FROWNS. CHUNK Yummy. Mama looks into the pot. MAMA Is there some left? Jake NODS. Mama CHECKS her wristwatch. MAMA Time to feed your brother. JAKE Let Francis do it -- I fed it last night. MAMA Francis is busy. JAKE I hate goin' down there, Ma. It -- MAMA He’s your brother. (pushes Jake) Now get goin. ’Fore it gets cold. Jake RELUCTANTLY walks to a crooked wooden door. He OPENS the door. It leads into DARKNESS. Jake ENTERS. We HEAR him descend the creaky stairs. A nervous Mikey STANDS. BOUNCING on one leg. He LOOKS at Mama. MIKEY S’cuse me, M'am -- Where's the man's room? 49. With his usual wild hand gestures and expressions, Chunk is trying to convince Mikey NOT TO GO downstairs. Mama GLARES at Mikey. MAMA Can't you hold it? CHUNK (agreeing with Mama) Yeah, Mikey -- can't you hold it?! Devilishly, Mouth pours a thin, noisy stream of water from one glass which he holds high above the other. MIKEY (beyond desperation) LADY -- PLEASE!! MAMA Downstairs. To your right. And STAY to your right!!! Mikey NODS. TREMBLING. Chunk still tries to CONVINCE Mikey. CHUNK (whispering) Mikey -- Don't -- You can't -- please -- Mikey IGNORES Chunk and WALKS to the basement door. He ENTERS. 54 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT 54 A NARROW corridor. DARK. TWISTING. Lined with DAMP, STONE WALLS. The stairs are made of ROTTED WOOD. They CREAK and GROAN with his every step. Mikey ARRIVES at the bottom. There is a LONG HALLWAY. DIMLY LIT by a few dangling BARE BULBS. Mikey removes the MAP from his pocket. He OPENS to the maze. Trying to find some sort of COMPARISON. He suddenly hears BIZARRE SOUNDS. GROWLING. SCREAMING. They echo from the hallway’s OPPOSITE SIDE. Mikey PAUSES. CURIOUS. He TURNS. He puts the map back INTO HIS POCKET. He FOLLOWS the sounds. They lead him to a THICK, WOODEN DOOR. At HALLWAY’S END. Mikey STOPS. The sounds are LOUDER here. More DISTINCT. The growling CONTINUES. Like an ANIMAL. It mixes with the RATTLING OF CHAINS. The door is OPEN. A CRACK. Mikey PEERS inside. 50. 55 INT. SLOTH’S ROOM 55 MIKEY’S P.O.V. - A STONE ROOM. Resembling a JAIL CELL. The room is EMPTY. Save for a TATTERED, STAINED MATTRESS. It sits in.the MIDDLE of the floor. A very large person sits in a DARK CORNER. We will call him SLOTH. Only the LARGE OUTLINE of his shadow is visible. Jake stands OVER HIM. Holding the pot of FOOD. Sloth GROWLS at Jake. He HOLDS the pot out to SLOTH. Jake speaks as if he were talking to a DOG. JAKE Here, boy -- You hungry? Want your supper? Sloth GRUNTS. He holds out TWO ARMS. They come INTO THE LIGHT. The arms are THICK, MUSCULAR. Covered with CURLY BROWN HAIR. TORN, FRAYED shirt sleeves hang from the arms. HEAVY METAL CHAINS are attached to his wrists. They SECURE Sloth to the wall. His arms STRETCH out for the food. Like a STARVING child. Mikey WATCHES. EYES WIDE. SHOCKED. Jake holds the pot INCHES from Sloth's fingers. JAKE Here, fella -- this what you want? Your "Tender Vittles"? Sloth's hands try to GRAB the bowl. Jake PURPOSELY DROPS the pot. It SMASHES on the floor. The fish and broth are SUCKED into the dry cement. Sloth CRIES OUT. Mikey's eyes are SAD. SYMPATHETIC. Jake feigns PITY. JAKE Oh, poor boy -- (shrugs) Sorry, fella. Maybe tomorrow night. Sloth WHIMPERS. With a SADISTIC GIGGLE, Jake turns to exit the room. Mikey quickly HIDES. BEHIND the door. Jake walks back UPSTAIRS. Mikey PEERS out from behind the door. Seeing that THE COAST IS CLEAR, he walks out. Mikey looks back INTO THE ROOM. CAMERA DOLLIES INTO MIKEY'S FACE. 51. He SEES SLOTH'S face. (But we don’t). Mikey's face goes WHITE. His eyes fill with TERROR. We hear Sloth GROWL at him. Mikey TURNS. He SPRINTS OFF down the hallway. He DASHES back upstairs. SCARED TO DEATH. 56 INT. LIGHTHOUSE LOUNGE - DAY 56 Mikey RUSHES into the room. He RUNS into Brand's ARMS! Brand, dirtied and muddied from his bicycle accident, is STANDING in the restaurant. Brand GRABS Mikey's collar. He PICKS Mikey up off the floor. Brand GLARES at him. BRAND Death's too good for you. I’m savin' you for Mom. Chunk has actually been eating some of the Fish Surprise, and has lost most, if not all, of his color. CHUNK Can we go now, you guys? I think I'm gonna be sick. Mama WALKS back into the room, startling Brand with her malevolent presence. She LOOKS at all of the boys, ANXIOUS to get rid of them. MAMA It's all right boys. Go on home. It's on the house. Chunk sticks his head under the table and BARFS. MOUTH Now it's on the floor! MAMA Go on, get out of here; Jake'll clean up. Now git. The boys almost knock the table over getting out of there as Mama fakes her politeness, then shuts the door and turns the "Closed" sign facing out. 57 EXT. GRAVEYARD - DUSK 57 DARKNESS approaches. The goon kids are HIDING OUT here. Behind the TOMBSTONES. Mikey’s SCARED. Trying to EXPLAIN WHAT HE SAW. 52. MIKEY I’m tellin’ ya' -- They got an "It" -- A giant "It" -- and they got it chained to the wall -- and when it, when it came into light -- (gives himself a shot of Promotene Mist) Ya' shoulda’ seen it’s face -- it was horrible. All the parts were mixed around -- BRAND Like your brain, lame-o. (trying to pull Mikey) Say goodbye to your little pals -- Chunk points OFFSCREEN. Brand PAUSES, turning curiously to where Chunk points. 58 EXT. LIGHTHOUSE - DUSK 58 GOONIE'S P.O.V. - JAKE and FRANCIS exit through a side door. Heads DARTING back and forth. Making sure that the COAST IS CLEAR. They are CARRYING a large, limp bag. The SIZE OF A - BODY. MAMA follows. CARRYING another similar bag. The Goon kids CURIOUSLY watch from behind the tombstones. The garage door opens, revealing the Black O.R.V. CHUNK Lookit there! Lookit there! Jake OPENS the hatchback of the O.R.V. Jake OPENS a false FLOOR in the O.R.V.’s bed. He and Francis manage to FIT one bag onto the vehicle bed. They ATTEMPT to load the other bag. WON'T WORK. Not enough SPACE. Jake CLOSES the false floor. He and Francis CARRY the other bag BACK INSIDE the restaurant. DATA Whattayou think they got in the bags? The kids have NO ANSWER. Jake and Francis come back OUTSIDE. They get INTO THE O.R.V. with Mama. They DRIVE OFF. The Lighthouse Lounge is EMPTY. Mikey excitedly LOOKS at the others. MIKEY Hey -- the place is ours. 53. CHUNK (scared) Our parents are gonna be worried! Let’s go home. MIKEY What home? In a couple more hours it ain’t gonna be home anymore. (passionate) C’mon, guys. This is our time. Our last time to see if the rich stuff’s buried someplace in there. Mikey PULLS the map from his pocket. He TRIES to read it. TOO DARK. He LOOKS at the others. MIKEY Anybody got a match? SUDDENLY, A SMALL FLAME APPEARS. It ENTERS from OFF SCREEN RIGHT. ANOTHER FLAME APPEARS. Entering from OFF SCREEN LEFT. The flames are TWO MATCHES. HELD by ANDY and STEF. Andy’s eyes TWINKLE in the firelight. But her hand is SHAKING, her eyes DART from left to right. She is obviously FRIGHTENED by the graveyard. ANDY Hi, Brandy. Brand SMILES at Andy, and LOOSENS his grip on Mikey. Stef gives a NASTY smile to Mouth. STEF Whatcha’ doin’ in the graveyard? Diggin’ up a new girlfriend? MOUTH Don’t knock it. Stiffs are lots warmer than you. Brand gives a PUZZLED look to Andy. BRAND What're you doin’ here? ANDY Followed you guys. We were out drivin’ with Troy -- He was bein’ a real spas-ass -- ya’ know, tiltin’ the mirror so he could look down our shirts -- (shrugs) 54. So I elbowed his lip. Mikey still reads the map. MUMBLING to himself. MIKEY Okay -- if it’s thirty paces- - (begins to count off the paces) One -- Two -- Three -- Data GRABS Mikey from behind, STOPPING him. DATA No, Mikey! Your feet too small! We must do this scientifically! (removes calculator) MOUTH (pushes Data out of the way) Paces are paces! Ya' think this Willy dude had a calculator? Mouth TAKES OVER. Walking out the paces with LONGER STRIDES. Moving TOWARD the lounge. Mouth counts out the paces as ELMER FUDD. MOUTH One -- Two -- Twee -- (turns back to the others) Shhhh!- Be vewy, vewy quiet! I'm hunting wabbits! Hee hee hee hee! Mouth CONTINUES walking. The kids FOLLOW. Andy LOOKS at Brand. ANDY Poor Troy. Guess he won't be makin' out with anybody for awhile. Am I goin' to miss that stuff! (gets a chill, to Brand) C'mon, Brandy. Let's get outta' here. Graveyards freak me out. Brand suddenly REALIZES that this could be the best night of his life. He TURNS to leave with Andy, but then realizes he has another duty. BRAND I can't leave without my brother -- just hold on -- one second -- 55. Andy ROLLS her eyes. Brand TAKES her hand, pulling Andy to the lounge with him. Mouth ARRIVES at the Lounge door. TRYING to open it. LOCKED. Mouth PAUSES. WHAT TO DO? An IDEA. He LOOKS back at Chunk. Mouth SMILES. MOUTH Hey, Chunk -- got some naked Polaroids of your Mom takin' a bath. Wanna' buy ’em? Real cheap. RAGE fills Chunk's eyes. He COMES at Mouth. Like a LINEBACKER. Mouth DODGES out of the way. Chunk RAMS into the front door. WHAM! The door BREAKS OPEN! Chunk GETS to his feet. BRUSHING himself off. Mouth CACKLES. MOUTH Thanks, Chunk. This FRIGHTENS Andy. She TURNS TO RUN. ANDY I'm goin' home. You guys are gonna get in big trouble. She turns to RUN. Andy is met FACE TO FACE with a LARGE STONE GARGOYLE! She SCREAMS! The gargoyle sits ATOP a tombstone! Andy turns and RUNS BACK to Brand's arms. 59 INT. LIGHTHOUSE - DUSK 59 The other goonies have ENTERED the place. Mouth is still COUNTING PACES. Back to his ELMER FUDD impression. He STRIDES across the restaurant floor. MOUTH Twenty eight -- twenty nine -- toity. (Mouth stops) This is it! That wascally wabbit must be under here! STEF You can stop auditioning to be popular. You don't impress me anymore. MOUTH I'd rather dive into a swimming pool full of razor blades than impress you. 56. MIKEY (looking at map) We gotta get to the lowest spot. BRAND (pulling Mikey) We gotta get outta here! MIKEY (strugging) C'mon, Brand! What’s another couple minutes gonna hurt? What if we find somethin’? Huh? Mikey breaks away from Brand and hurriedly opens the basement door. He motions for the guys to follow. 60 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT - CORRIDOR - NIGHT 60 Mikey leads the goonies down the dark, narrow stairway into the basement. A distant SOUND is heard. The RATTLING OF CHAINS. A low GROWLING. The Kids pause, frightened. STEF Chunk -- I hope that's your stomach -- MIKEY No. That's the "It”. Mikey continues to descend. The kids cautiously follow. Another GROWL roars through the basement. Louder, like an animal. The Kids stop again, scared. Chunk turns to Mikey. CHUNK Sounds like "Kong". MIKEY No -- Some of it's human. The kids continue down the stairs. They arrive at the bottom. Mikey pauses. He looks at the others. MIKEY C'mon. Wanna see it? The kids shake their heads. "No Way". MIKEY Don't worry. It's chained up. 57. Mikey leads the kids toward Sloth's door. The frightened kids stay close together. They move slowly, carefully, toward the door. Meanwhile, Andy grabs Brand's hand. ANDY I don't wanna see it, Brand. I don't wanna see anything else but you. Stay with me, okay? Brand nods. He stays behind with Andy. They stand in front of another door. A moment alone. Andy is shivering. Brand puts his arms around her. She cuddles closer to him. Brand smiles to himself. Now's the time to make his move. Meanwhile, the Kids are only a few feet from the door. Eyes wide, scared to death. Mikey slowly reaches out. He grabs the doorknob. The Kids hold their breaths. Mikey twists the doorknob. Sloth's ROARING GROWL blasts from behind the door. Louder than ever! It sends a shudder through the hallway. The kids jump back. Brand, who is leaning to kiss Andy, inches from her lips is interrupted by the group of kids falling toward him. The kids fall into Andy and Brand through another door. The door bursts open. Everyone falls inside like dominoes. (Resembling the "State Room" scene from the Marx Brothers', "A Night at the Opera".) 61 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT 61 The kids get to their feet. In the chaos, the doubloon has fallen from Mikey's pocket. It rolls on its side, along the floor. Chunk grabs it, seconds before the doubloon falls into a drain. Chunk pockets the doubloon. We are inside of a large stone room. At one time used as a kitchen. The room is equipped with a giant freezer, two large stainless steel sinks, a Sparklett's glass water cooler, a stove and a stone fireplace. A tiny flame still burns in the fireplace. The only object that seems out of place is a large, black metal printing press. The press is ancient, rusty. A small window sits above the press. A photo of the Fratelli's adorns the wall behind the press. The kids exchange a bewildered shrug. Chunk goes straight for the water cooler. Chunk moves his mouth beneath the tiny faucet. He turns on the faucet and lets the water stream into his open mouth. An excited Mikey grabs a fireplace poker. He finds a random spot in the center of the floor. 58. MIKEY Guess this is as good a place as any to start diggin' -- Mikey raises the poker high in the air. He brings it down, hard on the concrete floor. Wham! The poker doesn't make a dent! Instead, it sends a reverberating slock through Mikey's body. His teeth even begin to chatter. Brand shakes his head. BRAND You sure we’re not adopted? Are we from the same family? (glances to Andy, who desperately wants to leave) C'mon, Mikey -- you’re embarrassin’ me. There’s nothin' buried under here. Damn it -- This is the 20th Century. MOUTH Hey, I know how to get through the cement -- Put Hershey’s all over the floor -- let Chunk eat through it. CHUNK (raising his head from beneath the faucet, angry) Okay, Mouth -- "That's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more -- ” Chunk's sudden movement causes the Sparklett’s container to tilt. It falls off its base and smashes to the floor into a million pieces. The water flows across the floor trickling into the open fireplace. Several seconds pass before the water hits the fireplace bottom. Mikey pauses. MIKEY Listen -- They listen to the slow trickle for a moment. Brand shrugs. BRAND Big wow. MIKEY 59. No -- It's deep -- There must be some kind of opening -- or passageway -- The kids dash to the fireplace. Brand pushes Mikey out of the way and reaches down to pick up a log. He burns his hand. Brand drops the log and lets out a yelp. Mikey looks at Brand, shaking his head. MIKEY Brand -- You sure we’re not adopted? Are we from the same family? (glances to Andy) C’mon -- You're embarassin' me. Brand grumbles and takes off his shirt. He wraps his hands with the shirt. He begins to remove the firey, hot logs from the fireplace. When all of the logs are removed, only a section of black, rusted steel grating remains. Brand removes it. A few feet below, the fireplace floor is lined with ancient bricks and pieces of rock and earth. Brand shoves his foot into the fireplace. He begins to pounce on the bricks, trying to break through. Chunk is looking around. His eyes light. He’s discovered the freezer. He mumbles to himself, smiling. CHUNK Hmmm. Wonder if they got Chipwiches? Chunk grabs the freezer handle. He pulls hard. It's jammed. He pulls again. Still won’t budge. Brand is stomping on the fireplace ground. It creaks, cracks. The bricks crumbling. The kids curiously watch. He gives a hard stomp to the ground. A loud CRACK! Brand's foot shoots through up to his knee. An opening! The boys help Brand out of the fireplace. Suddenly, a loud noise rocks the room! Data has turned on the printing press. A freshly printed sheet rolls out of the press. The sheet is filled with perfectly printed counterfeit fifty dollar bills. DATA Hey, guys -- Check it out. Everyone hurries to Data, save for Chunk. He is still pulling at the freezer handle. BRAND 60. Bogus bills. MIKEY I knew those people were from the ozone. Stef romes upon a horrible realization. She grabs the photo from the wall. STEF Oh, God -- I knew I recognized these faces — The Fratelli Mob! Still pulling at the jammed freezer, Chunk calls back to the boys. CHUNK See! You guys never believe me! And now look what you got yourselves into--! Suddenly, the freezer handle snaps! The freezer door shoots open! A DEAD BODY stands there. Frozen, eyes wide open. It's one of the TWO MEN IN DARK SUITS who we saw enter the restaurant earlier. The man is bound and gagged. An FBI badge is pinned to his lapel. A bullethole is through his forehead. The stiff is halfway zipped into a green, plastic bag. The body falls forward. Chunk jumps back. The stiff hits the floor. Slam! The kids let out a simultaneous scream. They dash out of the room. 62 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT 62 The goon kids run down the hallway, frightened. They hurry to the upstairs stairway. Suddenly, a noise. The kids stop. Dead in their tracks, at the foot of the stairs. Brand motions for them to "Shhh." We HEAR the sound of VOICES, familiar voices. Mama, Jake, Francis, back home. The kids pause. Breathless. WE HEAR the basement door creak open. The kids look up to the top of the stairs. The long, menacing shadows of Mama and the two boys appear on the wall, heading into the basement. The kids turn, sprinting to the counterfeit room. 63 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT 63 The kids run back inside, panicked. Mikey uses his Promotene Mist. Chunk is scared to death. CHUNK 61. Mommy! Daddy! Uncle Wormer--! ANDY Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus! Andy crosses herself. Chunk sees this, tries to cross himself and instead outlines a Star of David over his entire chest and stomach. MOUTH What’re you doing? CHUNK (hysyterically) I'm not supposed to do the cross -- I'm Jewish! I'm doing the Star -- it's got 6 points -- it -- BRAND What do we do? MIKEY Put him back in the freezer.’ Put 'em back! Mikey and the goonies rush over to help. Chunk who is already lifting the body to put it back up. Chunk stands in front of the body. The kids stand in back, lifting it up. The voices of Mama and the boys are getting closer. ANDY (crying & whispering her panic) Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. STEF He's so cold! Andy, help us! ANDY (frozen stiff) Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee!! The kids lift the body to its feet. They hurriedly push it into the freezer. The clumsy Chunk still stands in front of the body. He is pushed into the freezer with the body. The kids close and latch the freezer door. They run to the fireplace. 62. 64 INT. FREEZER 64 Chunk is frozen, face to chest with the corpse. He tries to scream for help. He's too scared. Speechless. The corpse begins to slide down Chunk's body until it is face to face with him. 65 INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT 65 Mikey leads everyone into the fireplace. He kicks away a few loose boards. Mikey grabs one of the fireplace tools; a metal shovel. He motions for the kids to crawl into the fireplace. One by one, the kids hurriedly crawl into the passageway. Brand is hesitant. BRAND Geez -- Looks kinda small -- MIKEY Oh, yeah? Like the elevator. Remember? BRAND (scared) I told you to shut up about that -- Brand is interrupted by Mama and the Boy's voices, getting closer, clearer. He quickly crawls into the fireplace. Mikey is the last to crawl inside. He gathers the grating and logs. Once inside the fireplace, Mikey puts the grating and logs back in place, over his head. Mama and the boys enter. 66 INT. FIREPLACE 66 Using Andy's lighter, Mikey restarts the fire over his head. 67 INT. KITCHEN 67 Jake moves to open the freezer door, but Mama spots the broken water cooler. Things are not as they left them. Mama snaps at the others. MAMA Let's go check your brother. Jake moves from the freezer. Mama and the boys hurry out of the room. We HEAR Mama's voice: 63. MAMA (O.S.) He better not've busted them chains again. I ain't goin' back to the zoo for another set. The goonies watch through the fireplace grating. Suddenly, the freezer door slowly opens. Chunk steps out from behind the corpse. He dashes to the fireplace. He whispers to the kids: CHUNK C'mon, guys! Lemme in! Lemme in! MIKEY (whispers back) No! You gotta get out! Get the police! Chunk HEARS the Fratelli's coming back. He spots the window above the printing press. Chunk leaps the top of the press, crawling out of the tiny window. Just as Chunk slips out of the window, Mama and the boys re-enter the room. MAMA I knew he couldn’t break those chains -- JAKE Maybe it was one a' them tremors, Ma -- FRANCIS Yeah. Ya' know how the ocean sometimes shakes up the place -- Mama shrugs. No time for thinking. There’s work to do. She points to the freezer. MAMA C'mon. We gotta move the other one. The boys nod. Jake opens the freezer door. They begin to move the corpse. Mama looks at the boys. MAMA You boys take care a’ that. I’m gonna stay behind -- Make sure none a’ them "tremor” start up again. 68 INT. FIREPLACE 68 64. The kids move away from the grating. They climb back into the passageway. 69 INT. PASSAGEWAY - UNDERNEATH LIGHTHOUSE 69 A narrow, man-made tunnel, surrounded by smooth rocks and hard earth. The tunnel moves downward. Getting wide, larger as it moves further in the distance, but there is only dar&ness ahead. The goon kids cluster tighter together, whispering, scared to death. ANDY Oh, my God -- I saw my first dead body. BRAND Okay, look guys -- I’m the oldest. I’ll call the shots. (a pause) We gotta look for a way out -- start looking for manholes! MIKEY (to Data) Hey, you got any light on you? Data opens his shirt, searching for the correct cord. DATA Yeah -- In case of emergencies -- when I’m walking home from school and some big guys stop me -- They say, "Goony, we're gonna dust you!" -- I pretend like I’m real scared - - then I reach inside and pull this cord and say -- (Screams) BULLY BLINDERS!!! Two bright 8mm movie projector lamps extend from Data's hips. They flip on, causing incredibly bright light. The goonies all cover their eyes and scream. But suddenly, the lights fizzle out. Data shrugs. DATA Only problem -- batteries don’t live so long. (reaches into backpack) So -- I have Father’s backyard light. 65. He removes a large lantern. He flips it on. It illuminates the passageway. Brand grabs it. BRAND Okay -- I’ll walk ahead with the light -- MOUTH Walk?! What about -- RUN! All of the kids run off into the passageway. CUT TO: 70 EXT. ROAD - NIGHT 70 Chunk is running for his life. He runs to the side of the road, headed back to town. Suddenly, bright headlights come toward him. Chunk turns. He steps into the middle of the road. He waves his arms, hoping to flag down the car. The car comes to a stop. Bright headlights shine in Chunk's eyes, blinding everything in front'of him. A MAN steps out of the car. We can only SEE the outline of his shadow. He speaks to Chunk. MAN (Jake Fratelli) Is there something wrong? CHUNK (panicked) Look, Mister -- I need a ride -- My friends and I just had a run in with these really gross people -- Ya' mighta heard of 'em- - The Fratelli’s. Anyway, we found their hideout! If you could gimmee' a ride to the Police station -- The Man motions for Chunk to step forward. Chunk hurries to the Man. Chunk walks through the blinding headlights. He can finally see the car. His face goes white. It’s the black off-road-vehicle, lined with countless bulletholes. Chunk looks up at the man’s face. It's Jake Fratelli. 66. Chunk turns to run. Jake grabs him around the waist. He carries the struggling, screaming Chunk to the rear of the O.R.V. Jake opens the false floor. Jake forces Chunk inside. Jake closes and locks the floor. He gets into the O.R.V. Francis is also here. He and Jake drive off. 71 INT. REAR COMPARTMENT OF O.R.V. 71 Chunk again lies face to face with the FBI corpse. Chunk is frozen with fear. 72 INT. TUNNEL UNDER WATER PIPES - NIGHT 72 Brand moves forward, holding the lantern. The light guides them through the dark tunnel. The kids round a corner and come upon an odd sight. A large cluster of twisting metal pipes runs along the cavern ceiling. The rusted pipes dangle a few feet. They are obviously connected to something several feet above the surface. Warm and cold light seeps down from the surface surrounding the pipes. Stef nudges Mouth. STEF Your old man's a plumber. What kinda pipes are those? MOUTH Gas pipes, electrical, sewage, plumbing, hot water, cold water, pressure pipes. BRAND Water pipes? Hey -- You think if we started bangin' on 'em -- somebody upstairs might hear? Mouth gives a nod. He pulls a wrench from his pocket. The other kids pick up rocks from the ground. They begin to rap on the pipes. CUT TO: 73 EXT. HILLSIDE COUNTRY CLUB - NIGHT 73 The Hillside Resident's private club. 74 INT. TUNNEL UNDER WATER PIRES 74 67. The kids are going wild; swinging, hanging from the pipes, using all of their adolescent, athletic abilities. Brand hangs upside down from one of the pipes. Andy swings from pipe to pipe, not unlike a gymnasium's parallel bars. Mouth words hard at unscrewing one particular pipe. 75 INT. COUNTRY CLUB - SHOWERS 75 THREE overweight, pink, CLUB MEMBERS are taking a shower. 76 INT. TUNNEL UNDER WATER PIPES 76 The kids still pull and swing from the pipes. The pipes are twisted and tangled out of proportion, leaking and spewing water. The pipes begin to move by themselves -- Like slowly moving pistons on an ocean vessel. 77 INT. COUNTRY CLUB - SHOWERS 77 A MAN reaches out to turn down the cold water. Before his hand can touch it, the spigot is pulled into the wall! He pauses, puzzled. He reaches out for the hot water spigot. WHOOSH! It is sucked into the wall. The Man steps back, frightened. The shower head and nozzle above him is pulled into the wall. He looks around. Suddenly, one by one, all of the shower heads disappear into the wall! The confused members stare at the wall, their bloated bodies covered with soap. Suddenly, a fecid brown backwash explodes from the holes in the tile, where the spigots once were. The backwash covers the bodies of the club members. They dash out of the shower room, scared to death. 78 EXT. PUTTING GREEN - NIGHT 78 A TENNIS PLAYER pauses, getting a drink from a court fountain. The player moves his lips to the fountain. The entire fountain is pulled down a few inches. The puzzled player bends lower. The fountain is pulled down a few more inches. The player again bends lower. The fountain suddenly shoots upward, knocking in the the player’s chin! The player hits the ground, out cold. 79 INT. TUNNEL UNDER WATER PIPES 79 68. The pipes are a moving, tangled mess of leaking, spraying water. Several shower nozzles, water fountains and various spigots have been pulled underground. But the kids still have not given up, still thinking they’ve had no contact with the outer world. Suddenly, all of the pipes begin to move faster, bouncing, becoming violent. Steam and water HISS and spray. STEF (yelling over noise) What1s happening? MOUTH (yelling over) REVERSE PRESSURE!!! LET’S GET OUTTA HERE!!! 80 INT. COUNTRY CLUB - MEN’S ROOM 80 Troy goes into a stall as a low rumbling c"an be heard. He drops his pants and sits down on the commode. Immediately, an explosion of toilet water blasts Troy off his seat, sending him crashing all the way up to the ceiling. 81 INT. TUNNEL UNDER WATER PIPES 81 The kids walk away defeated, out of breath, sweating. Brand shakes his head. BRAND Geez. Ya think somebody woulda noticed. CUT TO: 82 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT 82 CLOSE UP - Hamilton Beach blender. A hand comes into frame holding a large eggplant. The eggplant is placed into the blender. The blender "LIQUIFY" switch is hit. The eggplant is pushed into the blender. The eggplant is crushed, turned to mush from the bottom to the top. We HEAR Mama’s VOICE OVER as the eggplant is crushed: MAMA (V.O.) 69. First we’ll start with your pudgy little fingers -- Then your round little hands -- then your fleshy arm -- CAMERA PULLS BACK. We are in the Fratelli basement. Francis is holding the eggplant and controlling the blender. Jake is holding a gun to Chunk’s head. Chunk is nervous, sweating, tied to a chair by an extension cord. Mama stands in front of Chunk, spewing out threats. Mama nods for Sal to turn off the blender. Mama looks back at Chunk. MAMA Now -- you gonna tell me where your little friends are? CHUNK (immediately, without hesitation) In the fireplace! MAMA (slaps him) Don’t lie to me, boy! CHUNK Honest -- We got this map from Mikey’s dad -- said that underneath this place -- there's buried treasure -- JAKE Don't give us any a' your bullshit stories -- (shaking him) We want the truth! Spill your guts! Tell us everything! EVERYTHING! CHUNK (hysterical, blabbering, exploding like a bullet) Okay -- okay -- in third grade, I cheated on my History exam- - In fourth grade, I stole my uncle's toupee and glued it on my face when I played one of the Wise Men in our school Christmas play -- In fifth grade, I pushed my brother down the stairs and blamed the dog -- I -- 70. Mama and the boys just look at each other. They can't even get a word in. CUT TO: 83 INT. CHESTER COPPERPOT TUNNEL 83 CLOSE UP - PASSAGEWAY FLOOR - TRACKING SHOT. A light beam illuminates the uneven floor, covered with jutting rocks and sudden inclines and declines. We SEE a gum wrapper, a metal cigar tube, and a mildewed, dog-eared Bible scattered across the ground. CAMERA PULLS BACK. We SEE the goonies making their way through the passageway. They are still incredibly frightened. Andy is still muttering her prayers. Mikey picks up the discarded gum wrapper. MIKEY Uh-oh -- Maybe somebody else was here before us -- DATA (looking around) Maybe they're still here -- STEF (getting a chill) Maybe we better hope they're not!! ANDY (scared, blabbering) Ten minutes ago Troy was looking down my shirt. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? If I hadn’t acted so vain, I'd still be cruising the coast with Troy. I have a terrific body -- why shouldn't boys look all they want - -I mean -- how many more years do I get before I -- before I -- (her face goes white, she screams out) -- before I start looking like HIM!! CAMERA PANS to where Andy is pointing. A decayed skeleton is lying on the floor. Its legs are trapped under a giant boulder. Mikey looks up to the ceiling. He SEES a length of boulders, hanging from chains on the ceiling. The skeleton was obviously a victim of some sort of booby trap. Mikey suddenly makes the realization. He talks to himself. 71. MIKEY You did this, One Eyed Willy -- Didn't you? This is one a' your tricks -- You wouldn't a gone to all this trouble unless you were hidin' something' -- would you, Willy? The other goonies slowly gather around the miner's body. The skeleton is dressed in miner's clothes. He is wearing a miner’s hat, and equipped with several tools: Shovels, picks, hoes, etc. The goonies stare in shock, frightened. Mikey opens his map to look for a way out. The other kids move toward the body. Data makes a realization. DATA This must be Chester Copperpot -- STEF Who? DATA The last guy who went lookin' for the rich stuff -- They say he went in but never came out -- that was back in 1935 -- BRAND (to Mouth) Find his wallet. MOUTH I ain't findin' his wallet. (pushes Stef) YOU find his wallet! Stef sighs and decides to look for the wallet, she slowly reaches into the skeleton's trousers. She removes the wallet, but the skeleton’s hand lodges on the wallet. Stef tries to pull the wallet. But the skeleton hand pulls back. A tug of war. Stef finally breaks the wallet free. She opens it and checks the name. It reads: CHESTER COPPERPOT. The kids look at each other, frightened. DATA Oh, God -- if he didn't make it out -- And he was s’posed to be an expert! What about us?! 72. Data walks BEHIND everyone. He pulls a cord on his chest and a couple dozen small red items automatically pop out into his hand. Mikey NOTICES. He LOOKS at Data. MIKEY What're you doin'? DATA I'm setting booby traps. In case anybody follows us. We'll hear 'em comin'. Mikey SUDDENLY notices something hanging around the skeleton's neck, a sort of MEDALLION. Mikey GRABS the medallion and studies it. It is an ANCIENT COPPER item, shaped like a skull! There are THREE IRREGULARLY CUT HOLES in the medallion, at the points where the skeleton's EYES and NOSE would be located. Mikey STARES at the medallion, trying to COMPARE it to the map. Meanwhile, Data spots ROAD FLARES in Copperpot's backpack. Data REACHES in and begins to PULL OUT each one of the ROAD FLARES. But Data doesn't NOTICE that he also REMOVES ONE STICK OF DYNAMITE! He PLACES it with the other flares and inserts them into his backpack. Andy is SCARED TO DEATH! She WANTS OUT! She BEGINS TO RUN FORWARD! ANDY Let's get outta' here! Come on! Let’s keep moving! Andy SHOOTS FORWARD. Mikey LOOKS UP! He SEES that about TWO INCHES from the ground, ALONG THE LOWER WALLS, are CAREFULLY PLACED TREE BRANCHES! The branches are a SORT OF TRIGGER! When broken, they CAUSE THE BOULDERS ABOVE TO FALL! MIKEY SHOUTS! MIKEY Andy! Stop!! But it’s TOO LATE! Andy'S FOOT SNAPS A BRANCH! A CREAKING SOUND is heard! The BOULDERS ABOVE begin to WAVER! In a tremendous PANIC, the kids DASH FORWARD! They SNAP EACH BRANCH, causing the boulders to FALL BEHIND THEM! ONE BY ONE! Each boulder. JUST MISSING the kids by a hair! The kids MAKE IT to the far wall as the last boulder DROPS BEHIND THEM! They CLUSTER TOGETHER! SCARED OUT OF THEIR WITS! 73. The kids turn, STANDING at a virtual DEAD END! A SMALL CIRCULAR BOULDER sits in the middle. The kids PAUSE. LISTENING. They hear NOISES. BEHIND the boulder. Stef is EXCITED. STEF Listen! Somethin's behind here! ANDY (hopefully) Maybe it's a way out! The kids attempt to move the boulder. Brand PUSHES everyone out of the way. He gives a MACHO raise of the eyebrow to Andy. He'll do it HIMSELF. Brand REMOVES his shirt. He flexes his MUSCLES. Andy BLUSHES. Mouth whispers to Data. MOUTH Lookit 'im! Showin' off his Andy- pects and Andy-ceps! In the background, Mikey TRIES to make a muscle. But NOTHING happens. He frowns. Brand GRABS hold of the boulder and begins to PULL WITH ALL HIS STRENGTH. GRUNTING. GROANING. The boulder begins to MOVE. The crumbling sound of rock is HEARD. Mikey watches, PROUD of his brother. Andy STARES at Brand's muscular body. Brand finally manages to PULL OUT THE BOULDER! The kids CONGRATULATE and APPLAUD Brand. The kids POKE their heads INTO THE NEW OPENING. There, is NOTHING BUT DARKNESS! But there is that SOUND -- it is the sound of SQUEAKING, FLAPPING WINGS. The kids LOOK at each other. PUZZLED. FRIGHTENED. Brand leans his head into the hole, craning it as far forward as he possibly can, stretching his eyeballs to see in the dark. BRAND Hello! Hello! Anybody home? A screech and a whistling sound, and then a black winged creature with sharp teeth and red eyes explodes into camera! EVERYONE (yells) BATS!!!! HUNDREDS OF BATS BLAST PAST THE KIDS! The bats ATTACK! FRENZIED! Pulling at HAIR! Clutching ONTO clothes! Everyone SCREAMS! Arms WAVING! HELPLESS! The kids DUCK FOR COVER! The bats MOVE ON back through the passageway. 74. THE BATS RACING through the PASSAGEWAY, in the same direction the kids came from. The creatures move like a BLACK CLOUD OF LOCUSTS! CUT TO: 84 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT KITCHEN 84 Chunk is CRYING his eyes out. TEARS streaming down his face. Mama and the boys are LISTENING. FASCINATED. He makes one last hysterical CONFESSION. CHUNK But the worst thing -- the worst thing I ever don -- I mixed up this fake puke at home -- I went into this movie theater -- hid the puke in my jacket -- climbed into the balcony and -- and -- I made a sound like this (makes VOMITING sound) Then I dumped it over the side -- on all the people in the audience - - then -- then the people started gettin’ sick—throwin' up all over each other -- (bursts into tears) It was horrible -- I never felt so bad in all my life -- Mama SQUEEZES the fat on Chunk's double chin. HARD. Mama's eyes are filled with FURY. She STARES at Chunk. MAMA Look, kid -- I still ain’t heard what I wanted (a beat) Now where are your friends? CHUNK I told ya' -- in the fireplace -- they ' took out the logs -- then the grating -- then they crawled into some secret passageway -- MAMA (sarcastic) Then they put the grating and the logs back -- and started up the fire from inside -- CHUNK 75. Yeah- - right -- just like that. Mama RELEASES her grip. DISGUSTED. She turns to FRANCIS. MAMA Hit "Puree". Francis grabs the BLENDER. He hits the "Puree" BUTTON. The blender starts with a DEADLY WHIRRR! Mama LOOKS at Chunk. MAMA Now -- do I get the truth? Or do you get juiced? Chunk stares in HORROR. Mama NODS to Jake. He GRABS Chunk's hand. FORCING it to the top of the blender. Chunk SCREAMS. CRYING. HYSTERICAL. Jake begins to PUSH Chunk's fingers toward the SHARP, SWIRLING BLADES. Chunk STRUGGLES. MAMA HOLDS HIM DOWN. CHUNK’S FINGERS ARE LESS THAN AN INCH FROM THE BLADES. Suddenly, A NOISE. Coming from the FIREPLACE. Everyone TURNS. The logs literally BLAST from the fireplace. The grating POPS OUT. BOUNCING across the floor. THE BATS shoot out of the fireplace. They fly THROUGH the room. The bats fly UPWARD. Where it’s DARKER. They CLUSTER TOGETHER. ON THE CEILING. Francis RUSHES to the fireplace. He PEERS into the opening. FRANCIS Kid’s not shittin’. CUT TO: 85 INT. CAVERN UNDER ZOO - NIGHT 85 The kids STAND in the passageway, on top of each other's SHOULDERS. They have formed a PERFECT CHEERLEADER PYRAMID, in order to REACH the ceiling. Mikey is HOLDING Chester Copperpot’s SHOVEL. He DIGS into the ceiling. CLUMPS of dirt begin to fall to the ground. Andy SHOUTS to everyone. ANDY Okay, everybody -- we made a perfect Touchdown Victory Formation Pyramid. Don’t make a move of we'll tip over. 76. With a LITTLE effort, Mikey's shovel SHOOTS THROUGH the ceiling. He SMILES and CALLS to those below him. MIKEY Hey -- we're pretty close to the surface! CUT TO: 86 EXT. CAULDRON POINT 200 - NIGHT 86 CLOSE UP - A SIGN. CAMERA PANS from the sign to a fenced grassy area. TWO GORILLAS, B0N20 AND BERTHA are cavorting about. BONZO drives a little red convertible pedal car, as he shows off for BERTHA who looks sweet and demure with a little pink ribbon the zookeepers have put in her hair. 87 INT. CAVERN UNDER ZOO 87 Mikey CONTINUES to DIG through the ceiling. CLUMPS of dirt FALL. 88 EXT. CAULDRON POINT ZOO - NIGHT 88 Bonzo gets out of his pedalcar and begins to groom Bertha. Bertha grooms back. Bonzo has that look in his eye. The look of a guy ready to "score". He immediately moves around to the back of Bertha, who reacts with mock, ladylike surprise. CLOSE - BONZO'S FEET. The shovel digs-through, missing Bonzo's foot by inches. CLOSE - BONZO. Making his move! He MOUNTS Bertha -- a moment later the ground opens up and BONZO is sucked underground and out of sight. BERTHA almost speaks -- she says -- "HUH?" 89 INT. CAVERN UNDER ZOO 89 The GORILLA FALLS to the ground. SLAM! The pyramid COLLAPSES. The shocked kids SCREAM. Bonzo gets to his feet. CATCHING his breath. The Gorilla SEES the kids. He looks up and remembers what he was doing. He GROWLS. The kids TURN and RUN. Dashing FURTHER OFF into the tunnel! Outraged, Bonzo CLIMBS back up through the hole, back into his cage. 77. 90 INT. LIGHTHOUSE BASEMENT KITCHEN - NIGHT 90 CLOSE UP - KITCHEN CUPBOARD DOOR. The door OPENS. What should be filled with kitchen utensils, is filled with GUNS. ALL TYPES. PISTOLS. RIFLES. MAGNUMS. CAMERA PULLS BACK. Mama grabs a PISTOL. She looks at the BOYS. MAMA If we find those kids, -- remember, no witnesses. (CLICKS pistol) We'll let the air outta’ their Calvins. Chunk STARES. FRIGHTENED by what he's heard. Mama POINTS the pistol at Chunk's forehead. Ready to SHOOT. She PAUSES. MOVING the gun. MAMA Maybe I better keep 'im alive -- just in case he's lyin'. (SNAPS her fingers at Jake) Put 'im in with yer' brother. Chunk gives a NERVOUS NOD. Jakes LIFTS Chunk and the chair. Something FALLS OUT of Chunk's pocket. The DOUBLOON. It HITS the floor. Mama GRABS it. She STUDIES it. PUZZLED. She LOOKS at Chunk. MAMA What's this? A Cracker Jack prize? CHUNK We found that on the map -- it's got somethin' to do with the buried treasure -- Mama is still PUZZLED. She HOLDS the doubloon out to Francis. MAMA You’re s'posed to be an expert -- Francis takes the doubloon. STUDYING it. His eyes get WIDE. His mouth DROPS OPEN. Total SHOCK. FRANCIS Oh -- My -- God. 78. Mama and the boys shoot him a PUZZLED look. CUT TO: 91 INT. TUNNEL LEADING TO BOTTOM OF WISHING WELL 91 The passageway is EXTREMELY SMALL, TIGHT, forcing the kids to CRAWL THROUGH. The passageway continues to get LOWER. Becoming SMALLER. NARROWER. BRAND still LEADS. HOLDING the flashlight. Brand is covered with SWEAT. Extremely NERVOUS. Suddenly, the flashlight beam begins to BLINK. DYING OUT. Brand PANICS to Data. BRAND Hey! What’s goin’ on?!? This thing’s losin' juice! What're we gonna do about light?!-- Data REACHES into his backpack. He FUMBLES in the darkness through the ROAD FLARES he lifted from Chester Copperpot. Data's fingers pass over the STICK OF DYNAMITE, and instead grab a FLARE. Data LIGHTS the flare and PASSES it to Brand. Brand STILL COMPLAINS. BRAND. All we keep doin' is goin’ lower! Where we goin'?-- Where's this leadin' us?-- this place is gettin’ awful small! Awful small!-- MIKEY (whispers co Andy) Uh-oh. He’s gettin' that elevator look in his eyes. ANDY Whattayou mean, "elevator"? Mikey takes advantage of the situation and moves even CLOSER to Andy. As he explains to her, he SMELLS her perfume and the shampoo rinse in her hair. MIKEY Me and Brand got stuck in this elevator once. For five hours. It was okay at first -- then he started gettin' closet -- closetphotos -- ANDY 79. Claustrophobic. MIKEY Yeah. And he freaked out. Lost total control. Started spinnin' around in circles. His arms whippin' around. Like a breakdancer on fast forward. I had to climb on the elevator roof so I wouldn’t get hurt -- BRAND (screams) I can’t breathe! I’m chokin’! Mikey! Gimmee' your misty stuff! C’mon, man! Now! Mikey gives Brand the PROMOTENE MIST. Brand GRABS it. Sucking up the PRECIOUS mist. Mikey again WHISPERS to Andy. MIKEY Last time he used that was in the elevator. (serious, trying to be strong) Andy -- this might get rough. You better let me take your hand. Andy TAKES Mikey’s hand. The passageway has gotten WIDER. The kids can now walk UPRIGHT. The kids ROUND a comer and have made it to a POOL OF WATER. The water comes up to their ANKLES. Mikey HOLDS the map above water. He suddenly notices piles of glistening SILVER and COPPER COINS, surrounding the edge of the walls. Mikey SMILES, as if his prayers were answered. Struck with goldfever, Mikey DASHES out ahead of everyone. MIKEY We found it! We’re rich!!! Mikey falls to his HANDS AND KNEES in a shaft of cool exterior moonlight from far above. Brand takes several DEEP BREATHS, taking in the sudden burst of FRESH AIR from above. He starts PICKING UP all the coins in a one inch pool of dirty water. DATA What year was that map made? MOUTH (looking through coins) 80. Couple hundred years before Abe Lincoln -- uh -- George Washington -- Thomas Jefferson -- Martin Sheen -- STEF That's President Kennedy, crater face. We must be at the bottom of a wishing well or somethin’. ANDY I always used to believe that when you threw in a coin it turned into your wish. The kids BEGIN to POCKET the change, joyously FILLING their pockets with the money. Stef PAUSES. Something is BOTHERING her. She LOOKS at the others. STEF Wait -- these are somebody else’s wishes. Not ours. Stef EMPTIES her pockets. The other kids PAUSE, doing the same. Mouth PAUSES, putting one of the quarters into his pocket. MOUTH Yeah. Well this wish was mine and it didn't come true. Mikey STARES at the map, then STARES at the medallion he found around Chester Copperpot's NECK. Mikey is PUZZLED. TALKING to himself. MIKEY What's this got to do with the map? Huh, One Eyed Willy -- I know the answer's here somewhere -- I know how smart you are -- Mikey EXAMINES the medallion, looking for some sort of clue. Suddenly, a SPLASH. In FRONT of Data. Data FISHES for what landed in the water. He removes a SILVER DOLLAR. He LOOKS at the other kids. SURPRISED. DATA Who's got the "K" to be makin' dollar wishes? 92 EXT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 92 81. Troy sits at the side of the well, his red Mustang in the background. He's JUST TOSSED the silver dollar. Troy is drinking Buds with THREE of his muscular FRIENDS. One of the friends gives a COCKEYED smile to Troy. FRIEND Whadja' wish for? TROY To make it with Andy. Suddenly, the silver dollar FLIES BACK OUT of the well. HITTING Troy in the head. He GLARES down into the well. TROY Hey! Who's down there? 93 INT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 93 Everybody goes nuts. The goonies SCREAM and CHEER-for help EVERYBODY Hey -- throw us a line -- Help! We're down here! 94 EXT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 94 A hopeful Troy LOOKS at his friends. He SHOUTS back into the well. TROY Andy? -- 'Zat your voice I hear? 95 INT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 95 Andy. SCREAMS, thinking ONLY of herself. ANDY (O.S.) Yeah, Troy! I'm stuck down here! How 'bout sendin' down the bucket and rope! Please! Save me! 96 EXT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 96 TROY (smiles, to his friends) See, dudes! Wishes DO come true. Troy LOWERS the bucket into the well. 82. 97 INT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 97 The kids WAIT. EXCITED. But Mikey stands ALONE, staring at the medallion and the map. A PUZZLED, CONFUSED LOOK on his face. He TALKS to himself. MIKEY I know I can beat you- - this is just another one a' your tricks -- right, One Eyed Willy? CUT TO: 98 INT. SLOTH’S ROOM - NIGHT 98 Sloth sits with his BACK to us. He sits in FRONT of the T.V. His face a few INCHES from the screen. He is watching a pirate movie. Jake and Francis CARRY Chunk inside. They sit his chair directly BESIDE Sloth. Sloth DOESN’T notice. Too INTERESTED in the show. Jake SMIRKS at Sloth. JAKE Hey- - don't sit so close to the T.V. It'll screw up your ammo. Jake and Francis LAUGH. Sloth IGNORES them. They EXIT the room. Chunk STARES ahead. SCARED. He still CAN'T SEE Sloth's face. He emits a NERVOUS LAUGH. Trying to be FRIENDLY. CHUNK Hi -- how ya' doin' -- my name's Lawrence. Everybody calls me "Chunk". Guess that's 'cause I eat too much Twinkie juice- - Sloth TURNS from the T.V. Emitting a LOUD, ANGRY GROWL. WE SEE SLOTH'S FACE. For the FIRST TIME. Lit by the FLICKERING blue of the T.V. screen. Sloth's MISHAPEN head is ENORMOUS. RECTANGULAR. A small patch of GREYISH hair sits on the top of his pointed skull. His neck and temple are SHAVED. His ears are HUGE. His WIDE, BULBOUS NOSE stretches, across his face. His lips are THICK. DRIPPING with saliva. His front teeth PROTRUDE. CROOKED. YELLOW. Hjg eyes are CROOKED. One sits in the MIDDLE OF HIS cheek. The other is in its PROPER PLACE. A MONSTROSITY. Chunk SCREAMS. TRAPPED. Sloth gives a HIGH PITCHED GIGGLE. He's found a FRIEND. 99 INT. BASEMENT - KITCHEN 99 83. Mama and the boys INSPECT the fireplace passageway. Each carrying a pistol and a FLASHLIGHT. Francis is holding the DOUBLOON. STUDYING it. Mama KICKS OUT the fireplace grid and starts into the tunnel. Jake and Francis COCK their pistols and FOLLOW Mama inside. CUT TO: 100 INT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 100 The bucket has LOWERED to the bottom. Andy GRABS it first. The other guys GATHER AROUND. EXCITED. HOPEFUL. But Mikey is still STARING at the map and medallion, still PUZZLED, still MUMBLING to himself. Mikey sees that the bucket has ARRIVED. Andy PUTS her foot into the bucket. Mikey SHOUTS to her. MIKEY Andy -- Wait!!! We’ve got this other clue -- Chester Copperport never got this far -- we have a chance -- AN£Y A chance at what, Mikey? Getting killed? Look, if we keep goin' -- somebody's gonna get dead." Maybe killed. Boulders -- bats -- gorillas! Just imagine what kinda' other stuff is down here! Besides - - we gotta get to the Police -- MIKEY Chunk prob’ly already got to the Police. ANDY Unless he's dead. MIKEY (snaps at Andy) Don't SAY that! Don't EVER say that! (a pause) Goonies never say die! ANDY I'm NOT a goony. MIKEY (a realization) Right -- I forgot for a second -- 84. (to the others) But you guys -- don't ya' understand? The next time you see the sky, it'll be over another town. Next time you take a test, it'll be at some other school -- Our Moms and Dads want the best of stuff for us -- but they gotta do what's good for them because it's their time now -- down here it's OUR TIME! But that's all over the minute we ride up Troy’s bucket. Andy PAUSES. Mikey takes a SHOT of Promotene Mist. He LOOKS at all of the kids. He gives a STRONG, DETERMINED look to everyone. MIKEY Look -- a couple years ago -- My Mom and Dad got on that big Game Show. Remember, Brand? Mom spent a month makin' those funny costumes, she was a giant egg. Dad was a frying pan. My Dad kept sayin' we were gonna live in a place called "Easy Street". So we drove all the way to Hollywood. When we got there -- they put us in this big audience -- with all these other people in funny costumes. Then some dude with lipstick and sprayed hair came down the stairs. He walks up to us -- ; (A BEAT) First he makes Mom guess how much toilet bowl cleaner costs -- she gets it right. Then he makes my Dad guess what a jar of Ragu Spaghetti sauces weighs- - he gets it right. Then he asks my Dad -- "The Big Prize is behind Door #1? Door #2? or Door #3?" Now my Dad’s Lucky Number was always "2". He got married on August Two. He got his job on June Two. And he’s got two kids -- DATA Okay. Okay. We got the point! He took Door #2! MIKEY 85. No. That’s the weird part. For some reason, he took Door #3. So the game show guys screams -- "Congratulations! You've just won - -ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND -- (a pause) And the door swings open. And this huge glass jar is sittin' in the middle of the stage -- filled with TOOTHPICKS. One hundred thousand toothpicks. Everyone LISTENS. INTERESTED. Troy SHOUTS from above. TROY (O.S.) Hey Andy!! You cornin' or not! He PULLS the rope. Andy PULLS BACK, lingering for another moment, fascinated by Mikey’s story. MIKEY (continuing) Everybody in the place was laughin'. Even Mom and Dad smiled. But I could see on their faces -- they knew. They were never gonna live on Easy Street. They blew their chance. (to the others) This is it guys- - On Monday, all our living rooms turn into golf holes. This is our last chance. I mean -- I'd feel like a real jerk if some guy like Troy dug up all the rich stuff -- 'cause we were too chickenshit to go for it. Everyone LOOKS at each other. How can they ARGUE? They’re GOING FOR THE TREASURE! Troy AGAIN SHOUTS from above. TROY (O.S.) Hey, Andy -- you wanna stay down there with the Goonies? Or are you cornin' up here where you belong? I ain't got all night! Andy PAUSES, turning to the others. They STARE at Andy. Waiting for her DECISION. 101 EXT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 101 86. Troy BEGINS to PULL the bucket and rope. It is HEAVY. Troy gives a VICTORIOUS SMILE to his friends. The bucket ARRIVES at the top of the well. Troy is met with a SHOCKING SIGHT. The bucket is wearing Troy's LETTER SWEATER. Troy GRABS the letter sweater. The bucket is filled with PEBBLES and ROCKS. His friends CHUCKLE. A HUMILIATED Troy turns and walks to his Mustang. CLOSER ON MUSTANG Troy reaches dejectedly for the door handle as the SHERIEF'S CAR suddenly pulls up, lights blazing. SHERIFF (leans out window) Hey, Troy! Hold up! TROY What are you doing out here, Sheriff? SHERIFF Tryin' to stop a lynching, son. (Troy is puzzled) Mine. All hell's busted loose over a bunch of missin' goonies. I got their parents callin' me, the newspapers callin' me, the Mayor's callin', me, and I sure as hell don't want to tell you what they're callin' me. TROY (careful pause) Gee, I -- wish I could help you, Sheriff, but -- SHERIFF Somebody said they saw you and Andy walking with one of 'em earlier today -- (looks at notebook) a Stefanie -- goddamn these polish names -- TROY Me? Walking with a goonie? When my ass learns how to chew gum. Sheriff. SHERIFF 87. Well when it does, son, you be sure and give me a call. There's a damn few things left in this world I’d pay to see, but that's one of ’em. The Sheriff's car roars off. Troy watches, guilty but defiant. 102 INT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 102 Andy stands in FRONT of Mikey, prepared to take the GOONY VOWS. MIKEY gives a SERIOUS LOOK to Andy. MIKEY Raise your right hand. Repeat after me. Andy RAISES her right hand. She REFEATS every word Mikey says. MIKEY "I will never betray my goon dock friends, We will stick together until the whole world ends, Through,heaven and hell, and nuclear war, Good pals like us, will stick like tar. In the city, or the country, or the forest, or the boonies, I am proudly declared a fellow --" (Mikey’s eyes go wide, HE SCREAMS!) LEECH!!!!! ANDY Leech! (pauses, puzzled) Leech? You mean "goony”! MIKEY (Cont1d) I mean LEECH! All over your arm! LEECHES! Andy LOOKS at her arm. There are countless TINY, BLACK, SLIMY LEECHES covering her arm! The kids PANIC. Everyone is COVERED with the little bloodsuckers. They DASH OUT OF THE WATER! CUT TO: 88. 103 INT. SLOTH'S ROOM - NIGHT 103 CLOSE UP - T.V. SCREEN. JULIA CHILD prepares a CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE. She pours creamy CHOCOLATE FROSTING over the double layer cake. CAMERA PULLS BACK. Chunk and Sloth both STARE at the T.V. screen. Both their mouths WATERING over the food. They are both incredibly HUNGRY. Sloth UTTERS a word. If a GRIZZLY BEAR could speak, it would sound like Sloth. SLOTH Chocolate. (turns, smiles at Chunk) Chocolate! Chunk gives an APPROVING SMILE back. They share a COMMON LOVE. Chunk REMEMBERS something. Although his hands are tied, he has enough freedom to move into his back pocket. Chunk's fingers DIG into the pocket. He removes a somewhat crushed "ALMOND JOY". Chunk LIFTS the candy bar. SHOWING it to Sloth. Sloth gives a GIANT SMILE. SLOTH Almond Joy! Almond Joy! Chunk tries to throw the candy bar to Sloth. It lands BETWEEN them both. On the FLOOR. Out of Chunk and Sloth's REACH. Sloth GROWLS. ANGRY. UPSET. He begins to PULL at the chains that BIND HIS LEGS to the wall. Chunk WATCHES. FRIGHTENED. Sloth pulls HARDER. GRUNTING. GROANING. The wall surrounding the bolts begins to GIVE. Plaster CRACKS. CRUMBLES. The bolts FLY OUT OF THE WALL. The chains DROP TO THE FLOOR. Sloth's legs are FREE. Chunk SHAKES HIS HEAD. CHUNK Geez, mister -- You're even hungrier than me. Sloth gives a WHEEZING LAUGH. He begins to pull at the chains that BIND HIS ARMS. Chunk just WATCHES. CUT TO: 104 INT. WISHING WELL - NIGHT 104 The kids are COVERED WITH LEECHES! They are in a FRENZY. HELPLESS. 89. Andy tries to SHAKE the leeches from her arms and fingers. Brand tries to PULL OFF the leeches. Mikey tries to DANCE off the leeches. Nothing WORKS. The leeches are STUCK. Data thinks FAST. OPENING his yellow vinyl blanket! He removes a medium sized 20 VOLT BATTERY! He hurriedly CONNECTS two wires to the battery. Data runs to the edge of the WATER POOL. Data keeps his feet in the SHALLOW SECTION. He inserts the ends of the battery wires INTO THE WATER. A LOW VOLTAGE SHOCK surges through Data. The leeches FALL OFF his body! ELECTROCUTED! Data MOTIONS for the others to join him. As each person STEPS into the water, Data INSERTS the two wires. A SUCCESS. The device REMOVES the leeches from everyone. Only Andy and Stef REMAIN. Andy STEPS into-the water. She gets her electric SHOCK. A SMILE slowly appears on her face. Her knees BUCKLE. WEAK. She emits a SIGH. Followed by a tiny SQUEAL. The SAME thing happens to Stef. Once they're out of the water, Stef WHISPERS to Andy. STEF I got all tingly. (a sigh) Just my luck -- I'm in love with a pond. ANDY (but Andy feels violated by this) Who's responsible for that?!? Andy looks at Data, who is HOLDING up the two electrical wires. Data victoriously smiles and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Andy SLAPS Data across the face. This causes a chain reaction on Data's BOBBY TRAPPED body. A tiny GI JOE DOLL pops out of Data's shirt and fires a single shot PLASTIC PROJECTILE at Andy. The GI JOE goes back down inside of Data's shirt, not unlike a CUCKOO CLOCK. Andy ROLLS her eyes. CUT TO: 105 INT. CHESTER COPPERPOT TUNNEL 105 AN AGONIZED SCREAM is heard as Jake tries to pull Mama over the top of a boulder while Francis pushes from behind. The lady is spreadeagled over the huge rock as the two boys struggle hard. MAMA (at Francis) Push, goddamn you -- (at Jake) 90. Before this one pulls my arms out - - (at Francis) Push!! Francis gives a mighty shove up on Mama’s behind as she lurches forward with a ROAR, instantly SLAPS Jake in the face! JAKE What was that for? MAMA For what your brother just did! JAKE Why didn't you hit him? MAMA He isn't here yet! FRANCIS (coming over boulder) Mama, look! They see the skeleton of Chester Copperpot lying on the ground. Jake leans down, picks up the wallet, opens it. JAKE (at empty wallet) Niente. Kids musta cleaned him out. MAMA Sure. Right before they ate him. FRANCIS (at Jake) Stupid -- FRANCIS This is Chester Copperpot. He went lookin' for the missing treasure of William B. Pordobel -- better known as "One Eyed Willy". MAMA (holds up doubloon) That's what this is from? FRANCIS 91. One Eyed Willy was one a' the most ingenious pirates of the 16th Century. The guy started out as a Court Jester, but was banished from 5 Spanish Courts because of his off-color stories and pratical jokes -- Jake GRABS the doubloon from Mama. He STAYS BEHIND, examining the doubloon as Mama and Francis CONTINUE AHEAD. FRANCIS So, Willy formed this Pirate Band - - and they set sail on this ship, "Inferno". Willy and his men marauded hundreds of the King's ships. They accumulated a treasure worth millions. (a beat) Legend has it -- that while bein' attacked by three of the King's ships, Willy steered his stricken ship into a hidden, underground cavern -- which the British sealed with their cannon fire. Willy and the other survivors spent the next couple years hidin' out, tryin' to repair the Inferno. They built a bunch of underground caves, loaded with all kindsa weird booby -- traps -- to protect the treasure. One of his men escaped to tell Willy's story -- (shrugs) And that's been the local legend around here for a couple hundred years. MEANWHILE, Jake still stands in the background, STARING at the doubloon. Jake is STANDING directly BELOW the hole where earlier, the Gorilla had FALLEN. Suddenly, a LARGE, HAIRY GORILLA ARM reaches down. The arm GRABS the toupee off Jake's head. JAKE MAAAAAAA—!! MAMA (notices that he’s bald) What happened to your piece? JAKE (lifting gun) 92. Nothing, Ma. I got it right here! MAMA (slapping him on top of his bald head) Your HAIR piece! Jake REMEMBERS, then looks at MAMA with fear in his eyes. JAKE I can’t tell ya, Ma. MAMA What do ya' mean, you can't tell'me? JAKE If I do, you'll let me have it again! MAMA (softening) No I ain't. Just tell me son. JAKE (flinching) OK -- some huge, friggin' hairy thing took it! MAMA (nodding thoughtfully while looking at him) You're a smart boy, Jake. JAKE (smiles, dim-wittedly) “Yeah? Why's that Ma? MAMA You knew I was gonna hit ya! (she let's him have it -- WHACKS!!) Jake TURNS and RUNS. Suddenly, THERE IS A LOUD BANG! Jake Jake whacks Francis in the face! JAKE Your message from Mama! MAMA (whacking Jake) Don't slap your brother! 93. Jake lurches backward from the blow. Suddenly, THERE IS A LOUD BANG! Francis jumps! We hear ANOTHER LOUD BANG! Francis draws his pistil, FIRES, as Mama and Jake duck for cover. CUT TO: JUMPS! He begins to RUN AGAIN! We hear ANOTHER BANG! And ANOTHER! Jake FIRES his pistol! Up ahead, Mama and Francis DUCK for cover. CUT TO: 106 INT. TUNNEL LEADING TO DEAD END 106 The goonies are FROZEN in their section of the passageway. The BANGS ARE AUDIBLE, far back in the passageway. The kids EXCHANGE A FRIGHTENED, PANICKED GLANCE! BRAND What was that?! What was that sound?! DATA My booby caps. (holds up caps) I put these on the ground so we can hear if somebody's following us! The kids all exchange a SHOCKED PAUSE! The realization suddenly HITS THEM! Stef SCREAMS! STEF That means somebody's FOLLOWING US!!! With a SCREAM, all of the kids RUN OFF INTO THE PASSAGEWAY! CUT TO: 107 INT. CHESTER COPPERPOT TUNNEL 107 Jake manages to CATCH HIS BREATH. Mama EXAMINES the floor beneath him. She picks up a ROW OF CAPS from beneath Jake’s shoe. She gives Jake a SLAP to the head. MAMA What's yert problem? Firin' yer gun over a buncha' kiddie caps? 94. CUT TO: 108 INT. TUNNEL LEADING TO DEAD END 108 The Goonies are running through the passageway. Data LEADS the way with a flare! His light illuminates a GRADUAL RISE in elevation. The kids round a corner, arriving in a SMALL, CONFINED AREA. A DEAD END! The flare GOES OUT! Data reaches back. His hand fumbles over a stick of DYNAMITE, but grabbing another FLARE instead! Meanwhile, a look of PANIC seizes Brand. He begins to HYPERVENTILATE. Becoming more CLAUSTROPHOBIC. Andy tries to COMFORT him. BRAND Great! A Dead End!!! Now What?!? Huh?!? ANDY We go back the same way we came in. Mikey LOOKS to the map. PUZZLED. Talking to HIMSELF. MIKEY It’s gotta go on- - Right "One Eyed Willy"? You wouldn’t end it here -- you always got somethin’ up your sleeve -- In the background, Brand CONTINUES to FREAK OUT. His face has become a DEEP PULSING RED. His eyes BULGE. CRAZED. He is on the verge of EXPLOSION. BRAND I can’t breath! -- It’s too small in here!!! You guys are usin’ up all the air!! It’s too small!!! Mikey FINDS a SPANISH PHRASE written on the map that corresponds to where the kids are. Mikey POINTS it out to Mouth. Mouth TRANSLATES. MOUTH "Copper bones, Triple stones, Westward foams!" MIKEY (looks at the medallion) Here’s copper bones -- (puzzled, mumbling the rest) (-- of the riddle) 95. Everyone LOOKS around. They are SURROUNDED by MOSSY, EARTHEN WALLS. Everyone is INTERRUPTED by a SCREAM. Brand suddenly SNAPS! BRAND I can't breath!!! You guys sucked all the air!!! You sucked it all!!! Lemmmee’ out!!! Leemmmeee’ out!!! Brand begins to literally CLIMB THE WALLS. He TEARS and RIPS at the walls with his hands. He tears off the MOSS! He rips out pieces of earth and ROOTS! The goonies each GRAB a piece of Brand, trying to hold him back. Finally, they get him to the ground and PILE ON TOP OF HIM! When he finally RELAXES, the kids get off. ONE by ONE. Stef LIFTS her shirt and motions for Brand to put his head INSIDE. STEF Okay. Breath your own carbon dioxide. It’s good for you. Brand’s head is STUFFED beneath Stef’s shirt, his head buried into her chest. Andy just STARES. Her eyes ANGRY. Stef NOTICES this and PUSHES Brand out from beneath her shirt and toward Andy. STEF Ah -- I think maybe -- maybe Andy’s better equipped for this -- Andy NODS. Brand stuffs his head UNDER her shirt. Meanwhile, Mikey TURNS to the wall that Brand has raped. The wall has been COMPLETELY STRIPPED of earth and moss. All that remains is a STONE WALL of JUTTING, STONE PEGS. They appear to be very NATURAL, but they manage to CATCH Mikey’s eye. He SMILES, talking to himself. MIKEY "Copper Bones--” (he holds up the medallion, looking through the holes at the wall) --Triple stones--” Mikey begins to try and FIT the COPPER MEDALLION’S HOLES over three of the jutting stone pegs. He TRIES several stones, but nothing seems to fit. The kids are GATHERED around Mikey. In the background, Brand is still buried beneath Andy’s shirt. The other goonies CURIOUSLY watch Mikey. 96. DATA What's he doing? MOUTH He flipped. Just like his brother. Just like the rest of us pretty soon. We’re all gonna go batty. One by one. Pretty soon we’ll be eatin’ each other’s fingers to stay alive. Mikey SUDDENLY fits the medallion over THREE JUTTING STONES. A PERFECT FIT. Mikey WHISPERS to himself. PUZZLED. MIKEY Westward foam? -- foams -- foams -- MOUTH Foam -- my Grandad had a dog that foamed after it got bit by a skunk. DATA Shaving foam? STEF Foam! Yeah, foam! There's foam in the ocean when it breaks on a shore. MIKEY (nods) The ocean's to the West -- Mikey tries to TURN the medallion to the West! Suddenly, like a built in doorknob, the medallion and the stones TURN. WE HEAR a LOUD CREAKING SOUND! Mikey STEPS back. The kids EXCHANGE a puzzled look. SUDDENLY, A CANNONBALL FLIES OUT OF A SECRET COMPARTMENT IN THE WALL! The kids JUMP BACK! The cannonball rolls into a small PATH that we see is meant for the cannonball. In typical RUBE GOLDBERG fashion, the cannonball sets off a chain of events that climaxes with the FLOOR BENEATH DATA FLIPPING OPEN! This sends Data FLYING and SCREAMING into the deep darkness of the new hole! 109 INT. HOLE WITH WOODEN SPIKES 109 CAMERA ENTERS HOLE WITH FALLING DATA! Data SCREAMS and FALLS through the darkness. TOWARD the bottom. As Data FALLS CLOSER to the bottom, we 97. CUT TO: DATA’S P.O.V. - COMING AT HIM, A SKELETON is VISIBLE, standing at the bottom of the tunnel. Surrounded by SHARP WOODEN SFlKES. 110 INT. TUNNEL AT DEAD END 110 The Goonies stand over the hole. Data’s screams suddenly DIE! COMING to an ABRUPT STOP! The kids PAUSE. LOOKING at each other. A FRIGHTENED, QUESTIONING look fills their eyes. They GATHER around the hole. The kids PEER inside. There is NOTHING BUT BLACKNESS. Brand CALLS OUT. BRAND Data? Data? There is no answer. Andy’s face goes WHITE. She shouts into the HOLE! PANICKED! ANDY Data! DATA!!! Oh my God. (and starts to pray) Hail Mary, full of Grace -- (crosses herself) MOUTH They probably got Chunk -- (screams down into the hole) DATA! DATA!! DAAAAATTTTTAAAA!!! (looks up at all the kids in a soft voice says) He went down -- I coulda’ grabbed him -- I was this close -- this close. He’s really -- BRAND (quietly) -- gone. Upon hearing this everyone breaks down and starts crying. Mikey, already sobbing, starts to cry uncontrollably. Brand, who's been holding Andy, leaves her to put his arms around Mikey. He lifts Mikey up and the two brothers clutch each other. MIKEY (crying into Brand's shoulder) 98. I'm gonna miss the way he used to shout out the names of all those goofy inventions of his -- (remembering) "Glasses of Death!" -- "Bully Blinder"! -- "Smoke Screen" SUDDENLY, A VOICE ECHOES FROM BELOW! DATA (O.S.) "Pinchers of Peril"! A LOOK OF HOPE covers the kids' faces. They SHOUT into the hole. EVERYONE Data! Data! Are you okay? Speak to us! 112 INT. HOLE WITH WOODEN SPIKES 112 Data HANGS a few inches from the top of the skeleton's head. He has been SAVED by his "Pinchers Of Peril". They have CLAMPED ONTO A JUTTING ROCK several feet above Data. He DANGLES in midair, bobbling up and down on the SLINKY- LIKE COIL. He SCREAMS UPWARD. DATA "Pinchers of Peril"! I've been saved by my "Pinchers of Peril"! Data LOOKS DOWN. The skeleton below him seems to be part of a new passageway. There is a phosphorescent LIGHT glimmering throughout the passageway. Data SHOUTS. DATA Hey, you guys -- I found another hole -- It's all lit up down here - - 113 INT. TUNNEL AT DEAD END 113 Up above, the goonies exchange a puzzled glance. Brand notices he's still holding onto Mikey. He drops him like a small sack of fertilizer and moves over to reclaim his territory on Andy. 114 INT. SLOTH’S ROOM 114 99. TWO GIANT, HAIRY HANDS RIPPING the "Almond Joy" candy bar in two. CAMERA PULLS BACK. We are back in Sloth's room. Sloth has torn his bindings FROM THE WALL. The fragments of heavy chain still HANG from his arms and legs. Chunk still sits BESIDE Sloth. TIED UP. In his CHAIR. Sloth GOBBLES DOWN half of the candy bar. He pauses and puts the other half into Chunk’s MOUTH. Chunk happily CHEWS. Sloth WALKS toward Chunk. His DARK SHADOW towering over Chunk. Sloth's arms REACH OUT for Chunk. Chunk PANICS. Thinking he's going to be KILLED. CHUNK Wait -- please -- don’t -- Sloth GRABS Chunk by the shoulders. Sloth LIFTS Chunk AND the chair. UP INTO THE AIR. Until their faces are on the SAME LEVEL. Chunk is still FRIGHTENED. Sloth leans forward and KISSES CHUNK! On the LIPS! It’s a HARMLESS, GENTLE KISS. SLOTH’S EXPRESSION OF FRIENDSHIP. SLOTH leans back and giggles. Chunk GRIMACES. CHUNK Man. You smell like P.E. Sloth DROPS Chunk! Chunk and the chair HIT THE FLOOR! SMASH! The chair BREAKS. Into several pieces. Chunk gets to his FEET. FREE. Chunk BRUSHES himself .off. Sloth GRABS Chunk's hand. CHUNK Hey -- what're you -- Sloth PULLS Chunk out of the room. 115 INT. BASEMENT - KITCHEN 115 Sloth pulls Chunk inside. Sloth RUNS to the freezer. He OPENS THE DOOR. He LOOKS BACK at Chunk. SLOTH T-bone. Sloth rips open-the freezer’s PLASTIC BAG. He removes a thick, FROZEN T-BONE STEAK. Sloth takes a HUGE BITE from the frozen meat. CHEWING the crunchy steak. Sloth OFFERS a bite to Chunk. Chunk DECLINES. CHUNK Ah, no -- no- - you keep it. I like mine not so crunchy -- 100. Sloth SHRUGS. He CONTINUES eating the steak. BONES and all. Chunk spots a TELEPHONE. He walks out of the freezer and GRABS the PHONE. Chunk DIALS a THREE DIGIT number. CHUNK Hello? Sheriff? I'm at the old Lighthouse Lounge -- And -- well, I'd like to report a- - first, there's a murder -- actually, two murders. Plus, we found the hideout of those Fratelli people -- then -- SHERIFF (V.O.) Wait. Just hold on here. Is this you again, Lawrence? CHUNK (embarrassed) Ah -- Yeah -- It is. SHERIFF (V.O.) When the hell are you gonna’ stop buggin' me? Do I hafta’ call your Mother again? Meanwhile, Sloth has begun to DEVOUR a FROZEN TURKEY. He RIPS the turkey apart. One of the legs FLIES OUT of Sloth’s hands. Bouncing INTO THE FIREPLACE. Sloth RUNS to the fireplace. Chunk tries to CONVINCE the Sheriff. CHUNK Sheriff -- this time I’m tellin’ the truth -- SHERIFF (V.O.) Yeah. Just like the time you told me 50 Iranian terrorists took over every "Sizzler Steak House” in the city -- CHUNK Okay. I'll admit -- that was a joke -- Sloth REACHES into the fireplace hole. Trying to FIND the turkey leg. He NOTICES the dark passageway. He looks into the BLACKNESS. Sloth emits a ROAR into the passageway. The passageway ECHOS BACK with another ROAR. Sloth LAUGHS. He ROARS again. Another echo ANSWERS BACK. Sloth laughs HARDER. He's found ANOTHER FRIEND. Chunk STILL TRIES to convince the Sheriff. 101. CHUNK Honest, Sheriff -- you gotta believe me -- SHERIFF (V.O.) I do? Just like tfiat last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water on 'em! Chunk NOTICES something. Sloth is CLIMBING INTO THE FIREPLACE. CHUNK Sheriff -- hold on -- (calls to Sloth) Wait! Get back here! Hey! As Chunk DOES this, he clumsily TEARS THE PHONE OUT OF THE WALL! Sloth CONTINUES to crawl into the fireplace. CHASING his new friend. Seeing that there is NO CHANCE to repair the phone. Chunk runs to the FIREPLACE and FOLLOWS Sloth inside. CUT TO: 116 INT. HOLE WITH WOODEN SPIKES 116 The kids have LOWERED themselves into the new passageway from a length of ROPE. A DIM, PHOSPHORUS LIGHT fills the area, caused by microscopic sea creatures and plankton. 117 INT. CIRCULAR CHAMBER 117 They walk into a circular chamber with THREE SEPARATE TUNNELS. THE SKELETON, dressed in PIRATE'S COSTUME, is suspended in a CHAIN-LIKE contraption, amidst a series of SHARP, WOODEN SPIKES, in the middle of the room. The kids STARE at the skeleton, PUZZLED, SHOCKED by what they see. The kids slowly INCH TOWARD the skeleton. Mikey NOTICES that the three tunnels all lead off into DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. Nothing in particular DISTINGUISHES one tunnel from the other. The kids are PUZZLED. CONFUSED. MOUTH Hey, Mikey. Which door's the hundred thousand toothpicks behind? 102. CAMERA MOVES IN on Mikey. Can history be repeating itself and handing Mikey a second chance? He LOOKS at the map. Andy is BOUNCING up and down on one leg. She has to go to the bathroom. She turns to Stef. Stef is ALSO BOUNCING up and down on one leg. Andy PULLS Stef's arm. They SNEAK OFF TOGETHER. Into ONE of the three tunnels. Everyone is too CONCERNED with One Eyed Willy to notice. Meanwhile, Mikey has FOUND the spot on the map where the path veers off into three directions. A SPANISH RIDDLE is written here. Mikey POINTS this out to Mouth.; Mouth EXAMINES the phrase. He TRANSLATES, in the voice of PETER LORRE. MOUTH "Three tunnels of mystery, All lead to unknown, To travel correctly, Tickle the funnybone." Everyone TURNS to the skeleton. LOOKING for the funnybone. MIKEY (with total commitment) I know it's door number two. This time it's gotta' be the middle tunnel. Everything's behind the second door -- BRAND (agreeing) It's what Dad shoulda' picked! MOUTH (snaps at the brothers) Yeah, well maybe my Dad woulda' picked Door #3! And maybe Data's woulda' picked Door #1! We can't be stupid. We're not rushin' into anything anymore! CUT TO: 118 INT. KISSING TUNNEL 118 Andy and Stef have finished their business. They are without a flashlight, or flare. Stef turns to go back. Andy pauses, giggling. She composes herself and cries out: ANDY Oh, Brand -- Brand -- (a beat) 103. It’s so dark over here -- I tripped over somethin’ -- think maybe I sprained my ankle -- STEF How can you be thinkin' about Brand at a time like this? ANDY Because, if we never get out of here -- if this is going to be my last day on earth -- if we’re going to be doomed and condemned -- I'm gonna make BRAND WALSH my last meal! 119 INT. CIRCULAR CHAMBER 119 Brand and the boys surround the dangling "One Eyed Willy" skeleton, still looking for the funnybone. Andy’s voice echoes from the tunnel. ANDY (O.S.) Brand! Brand sighs. He gives a slap to Mikey. BRAND Go see what she's raggin' about. Mikey follows Andy's voice into one of the tunnels. Brand looks at the others. BRAND Okay, so we gotta tickle 'im -- But where's the funnybone? Mouth tickles behind the skeleton's elbow. This triggers a LOUD CREAKING SOUND. Suddenly, a skeleton shoots out of one of the caves, dressed as the "Angel of Death". The skeleton is carrying a large Scythe. Its rusted blade long and sharp. The booby-trapped skeleton speeds across the floor fastened to a wooden board with wheels. The scythe blade coming straight for the boys heads. The boys duck, just in time. The skeleton shoots by. The sickle blade just missing their heads by less than an inch. The skeleton slams into a far wall, shattering into a million pieces. The boys catch their breath. CUT TO: 104. 120 INT. WISHING WELL 120 The Fratelli's make their way out of the small water pool. They are smoking cigarettes, burning off the leeches with the fiery end of the cigarette. Mama spots footprints leading out of the pond. She smiles. MAMA They went this way. There's little Nike prints all over the ground. Mama, Jake and Francis continue forward. 121 INT. KISSING TUNNEL 121 Mikey walks through the twisting tunnel, looking for Andy. She crouches a few feet ahead, at the edge of the dark corner, waiting. Stef watches. In the background, Andy calls again. ANDY Brand- - Hurry! Andy heafs footsteps coming her way. She exchanges a smile with Stef. The footsteps get closer. Mikey rounds the corner. Andy wraps her arms around him. In the darkness, Andy mistakes Mikey for Brand. Andy kisses Mikey. A long, passionate, open mouthed kiss. Stef watches, realizing that it's Mikey. She hides her laughter. Andy finally stops. She leans against the wall, out of breath, eyes closed, in dreamland. A giant smile covers her face. A startled, but ecstatic Mikey doesn't say a word. He looks at Stef. She gives him a wink. She won't divulge his secret. Mikey turns. He moves back to the boys, Andy opens her eyes. Stef gives a questioning look. STEF Okay, you kissed- - now tell! ANDY (scientifically) Well! He's not what he appears. He's scholarly -- and sensitive -- and very, very sweet. But there's, something weird -- STEF What's that? ANDY I think he wears braces. 105. STEF (hiding laughter) Next time -- You gotta kiss 'im with your eyes open. It's a whole different experience. Stef pulls Andy’s arm. They move back to the chamber. 122 INT. CIRCULAR CHAMBER 122 The boys still sit in front of "One Eyed Willy", shaken, puzzled, trying to figure out where the funnybone is located. Mikey enters, followed a few seconds later, by Stef and Andy. They SEE the smashed skeleton with the scythe, puzzled. STEF (pauses, thinking, a realization) Okay. Everybody turn around and hide your eyes. GOONIES What? Turn around? Hide our eyes? Why? STEF Hey -- You wanna get outta here or not?!? The guys shrug. What can they lose? Everyone turns around and hides their eyes. When Stef gets the privacy she wants, she reaches out and grabs the skeleton's crotch. A moment passes. A creaking SOUND. The kids brace themselves for another booby-trapped scare. But this time One Eyed Willy's body contorts. The chain holding the skeleton's right arm begins to move. Slowly, the arm raises. It stops in midair. The arms finger points to door number THREE. Stef smiles. STEF Okay. You guys can turn back around. The kids turn around and SEE the skeleton pointing to the third door. But the kids are puzzled. How did Stef figure this out? BRAND What'd you do, Stef? STEF 106. I just knew where the funnybone was! Okay?!? The boys know better than to ask any questions. Mikey seems disappointed that the skeleton is pointing to Door number 3. Mouth puts his arm around Mikey. MOUTH Guess your old man woulda' lost down here, too. Mikey doesn’t say a word as the others begin to move through Door #3. But Mikey gets a sudden idea. He covers his right eye with his hand. He stares at the skeleton’s finger. He moves his hand, then covers his eyes again. He smiles; a realization. MIKEY Hey, guys!!! Wait!! The kids pause. Mikey looks'at everyone. MIKEY Okay -- So One Eyed Willy only had one eye -- Right? (the kids agree) And if ya' only got one eye -- Well, ya' sorta' see things in a different, way -- Mikey covers his eye. The other kids follow suit and do the same. They SEE that when you cover your eye, the skeleton actually points to the middle tunnel. BRAND (turns to Mikey) It's the middle tunnel! (to Mouth) Door number two! Mouth shrugs, reluctantly agreeing. Everyone congratulates Mikey, as they run into the middle tunnel. CUT TO: 123 INT. CHESTER COPPERPOT TUNNEL 123 107. Sloth is running through the passageway, eating the frozen turkey leg. Chunk is a few steps behind Sloth. Sloth walks through the tunnel. He emits a LOUD SCREAM into the dark passageway. An ECHO again answers back. Sloth chuckles, continuing forward. Chunk grabs Sloth's arm, trying to explain. CHUNK Wait! Listen to me! That's not a person. That's just your ECHO. Understand? Your ECHO! Sloth pauses. His face lights. He nods, thinking he understands Chunk. SLOTH Eggo! Eggo Waffle! Sloth turns and continues forward excitedly repeating "Eggo-waffle" to himself. Chunk follows, trying to reason with Sloth. CHUNK No! Not "Eggo" ECHO! ECHO! SLOTH EGGO! CHUNK ECHO! SLOTH EGGO! CHUNK Okay! Have it your way! Sloth pauses, then grins, his eyes dancing like pinballs with instant recognition. SLOTH (singing the Burger King commercial) Have it your way -- Chunk beams, immediately joining in, as the two fast friends head off down the tunnel singing together. CHUNK (voice trailing off) Actually, my favorite is Domino Pizza. I'll take you to one when we get back -- 108. 124 INT. CAVERN UNDER ZOO 124 Suddenly, a GROWL is heard. Sloth pauses. He looks around. A frightened Chunk hides behind Sloth. Suddenly, a hairy GORILLA ARM reaches down from above and grabs the turkey leg from sloth's hand. But Sloth doesn't let go. Sloth pulls the leg! The Gorilla pulls back! A tug of war! 125 EXT. CAULDRON POINT ZOO - NIGHT 125 WE SEE BONZO having a tug of war with someone underground, Rprtha grabs hold of Bonzo, assisting her mate. 126 INT. UNDERGROUND 126 The tug of war continues. But Sloth is stronger! He manages to pull Bonzo and Bertha through the hole and inside of the passageway. Sloth is met face to face with the TWO GORILLAS. Bonzo and Bertha GROWL! Ready to kill! But Sloth steps into a sliver of light and the Gorillas SEE Sloth's face! They are terrified! Sloth growls and snaps, leaping forward, and Bertha and Bonzo panic, dashing forward into the passageway. BONZO AND BERTHA run several feet and leap up the walls, trying to burrow out through the ceiling. 127 EXT. KILLING STATION 127 Troy and his friends have stopped at the gas station. A MIDDLE-AGED ATTENDANT in greasy work clothes fills the gas tank of Troy's Mustang. Troy and his friends get out of the car. They're guzzling bottles of Heineken. Troy fumbles through his pockets to pay the Station Attendant. Troy looks at the front fender. He spots a microscopic, nearly invisible scratch. TROY Look at that! Look what you did! That scratch wasn't there this morning! ATTENDANT (honest) I wasn't even close to that side of the car -- TROY 109. Yeah. Right. You Goonies got an excuse for everything! Troy slugs some beer. Wfe hear a "DING-DING" in b.g. as another vehicle pulls up at the pumps. TROY You better' start linin' up for food stamps, pal. My old man's best friends with the guy who owns this station. You can kiss your job goodbye. Another "DING-DING." The irritated Attendant turns toward the noise. ATTENDANT Listen, I'll be with ya in a -- ANGLE ON GORILLAS - HIS POV The TWO GORILLAS leap out of their red golf cart on the other side of the pumps! Grunting in ecstacy at the sight of Troy's red automobile, they lumber toward it, tossing Troy and his friends to one side like Cabbage Patch dolls. Bonzo jumps onto the hood, caving it in, as Bertha leaps into the car. Bonzo takes his familiar place behind the wheel, reaches out to stomp on the pedals. The car lurches forward and drives away erratically, spinning from side to side. Troy gets to his feet, purple with rage. TROY Don't just stand there! Somebody do something! That car cost my daddy fifteen thousand dollars! The satisfied Attendant rehooks the gas nozzle to the pump, checks the readings. ATTENDANT Plus twenty-two fifty, peckerhead. Plus twenty-two fifty. CUT TO: 128 INT. CIRCULAR CHAMBER 128 110. Mama and the boys enter. They SEE the skeleton pointing to the third cave. CAMERA PANS to the floor. We SEE the several NIKE footprints leading into the middle cave. Francis stares at the skeleton. FRANCIS Christ, Ma -- It’s like the Museum a' Natural History. Jake walks to the skeleton and begins to go through the skeleton's pockets. JAKE Hey -- Maybe this guy's go some spare change. Jake's hand reaches into the skeleton's crotch area. The skeleton's arm springs back and socks Jake, knocking him to the ground! A raging Jake raise his pistol, ready to blow the skeleton's brains out. Mama interrupts: MAMA Shhhhh! Wait! Listen! Jake and Francis pause. We HEAR the distant sound of the GOONIES' VOICES echoing from the middle tunnel. Their voices are high, squealing with excitement, as if they've just discovered something. A menacing smile slithers across Mama's face. She checks her revolver, making sure it's loaded. 129 INT. PASSAGEWAY WITH MAST OVER WATER 129 The Goonies have arrived in a large section of the passageway. A long, crooked, wooden mast stretches across a deep, stream of rushing waters. The mast is the only way across the stream, which leads to a Skull-shaped opening in the wall. Countless living starfish line the surrounding walls. CLOSE - GROUP SHOT For the first time, all of the Goonies sense the impending magic of Mikey's adventure. All stare, jaws limp. Andy whispers to Brand: ANDY Brand -- Hold my hand -- I gotta' be sure this is real. Andy reaches out for Brand's hand. Mikey reaches back and grabs Andy's hand first. Andy can't tell the difference. 111. But Brand, who stands ahead of Mikey, gropes back for Andy's hand. Mikey thinks fast and grabs a starfish from the wall. He puts the starfish into Brand's hand. Brand is satisfied, thinking he is holding Andy's hand. Mikey smiles to himself. Brand moves his hand forward. He SEES the starfish. Letting out a scream, he pulls the starfish from his hand. Mikey quickly lets go of Andy's hand. He can't hide his giggle. Brand notices. He grabs Mikey in a headlock. BRAND You little wuss! You wanna play games? We'll play -- They are suddenly interrupted by the SOUND of BANGING CAPS! The kids exchange a startled, glance. MOUTH Shit! That sound again! STEF And it isn't as far back this time! The kids emit a mutual scream. They run for the mast. They begin to climb the mast. Some of the kids balance themselves, trying to walk across. Others straddle the mast, crawling toward the skull-shaped opening. The old mast creaks and groans with their every move. A low, ominous voice suddenly echoes through the chamber. MАМА (O.S.) Oooooohhhhh, Booooooyyyyssss! ANDY Oooooohhhhh, shhhhiiiiittttt! MOUTH (turns, trembling) Jerk alert! The kids stop and turn, having made it halfway along the mast! MAMA, JAKE and FRANCIS stand at the entrance to the passageway, at the foot of the mast, over 75 yards away from the Goonies. Mama raises, her pistol toward the kids. MAMA Not -- one -- more -- step -- 112. The kids look at each other, turn and move, faster along the, mast, practically crawling over each other to make it to the opening! Mama shoots! A section of the mast is hit, blowing it to smithereeens! The kids continue to run! Mama fires another shot! The bullet zips past Mikey, just missing him. It blows away a section of wood directly in front of him! The kids arrive at the top, running into the opening. Mama and the boys dash forward, beginning to cross the mast. Before entering, Data turns, seeing the Fratelli’s coming after him with a gun. He reaches for a cord inside of his shirt. He pulls the cord and screams. DATA Slick shoes! Both heels of Data's shoes pop open! A plastic tube extends! Black oil sprays out, splattering down the mast! As Mama balances herself on the mast, she raises her gun, aiming at Data. But the oil has splattered over the entire mast. Before Mama can fire a shot, she slips and falls, tumbling back into Jake and Francis. They nearly fall off the mast, holding on for dear life! Data cheers, but suddenly begins to slip himself. Seconds before he falls into the stream of water, Mikey grabs him and pulls Data into the chamber. 130 INT. ORGAN CHAMBER 130 The Goonies run.inside, panicked, scared. The chamber is no more than thirty feet in length. Its passageway is blocked by a giant boulder. Brand and Mouth try to movethe boulder that blocks the path. Too heavy. Won't budge. The kids exchange a frightened glance. They are trapped. Built into the wall, beside the boulder, is a pipe organ. A quite unusual organ. Each piece, from the keys to the pedals, are constructed of human bones. Stef reaches out to hit a key. A frenzied Mikey opens the map, reading it with Mouth. Mikey shouts out to Stef. MIKEY Wait -- Don't -- Stef pauses. Mouth hurriedly reads another of the map's riddles. Beneath this riddle, a few bars of MUSIC are written. But a few of the notes are erased and smeared. A result of the map’s age. Mouth translates the riddle. MOUTH 113. "To move on, play the tune, As each note is said, For too many mistakes, Ye will surely be dead.” BRAND You mean we gotta play the bones to get outta' here? MIKEY (holds up map) Anybody know how to read music? The kids shake their heads. Stef looks at Andy. STEF Hey -- You were the only one of us who could afford piano lessons -- ANTY (shrugs) Six months of lessons. When I was five. MIKEY Better than nuthin'. Mikey gives her the map. Andy examines the bars of music. Data is looking back through the tunnel entrance. 131 INT. PASSAGEWAY WITH MAST OVER WATER 131 DATA'S POV Mama and the boys are back on their feet. Red with anger. They attempt to again climb the mast, slipping, sliding, and struggling. 132 INT. ORGAN CHAMBER 132 Data LOOKS back to the goonies. DATA Hey, guys -- They're comin'! Everyone TURNS to Andy. SCARED. HELPLESS. Their SURVIVAL is up to her. She gives a NERVOUS shrug. ANDY I'll give it a shot. 114. Andy takes a SEAT at the organ. She places the MAP on the piano's music stand. Andy READS the first note. Slowly, she PUSHES down the foot pedals. She PRESSES one of the bone keys. A hollow, mysterious CHORD OF AIR echoes through the tunnel. The boulder CREAKS. Opening a CRACK. The kids EXCHANGE a hopeful smile. Andy READS the next two notes. She hits TWO KEYS. Two chords ECHO through the tunnel. The boulder CREAKS again. Opening a LITTLE more. Less than an INCH. Andy TRIES to read the next note. It is SMEARED. UNREADABLE. Nervous, she plays a RANDOM NOTE. A SOUR CHORD blasts through the tunnel. A LARGE CHUNK OF THE FLOOR CRACKS! It DROPS OUT! INCHES from Mikey’s feet. He JUMPS BACK. There is now a LARGE HOLE in the floor. Mikey PEERS into the hole. It's a HUNDRED FOOT DROP. Onto a floor of SHARP STALAGMITES. Mikey CATCHES his breath. MIKEY Oh, God! Oh, God! STEF What? DATA My whole life just flashed before me! STEF Life? What life? You're eleven years old! Andy is TREMBLING. NERVOUS. She ATTEMPTS to read the note again. This time, she PLAYS a different key. The chord is CLEAR. MELODIC. It SINGS through the tunnel. The boulder moves AGAIN. Opening another INCH. The kids emit a group SIGH. Data still keeps WATCH. 133 INT. PASSAGEWAY WITH MAST OVER WATER 133 Mama, Francis and Jake are more than halfway along the mast. Francis slips, nearly falling into the stream. Ohly his gun falls into the waters. Francis composes himself and continues climbing upward. 134 INT. ORGAN CHAMBER 134 Data panics. He SCREAMS to Andy. 115. DATA Hey, Andy -- Better play faster! They're gettin' closer! Andy begins to play faster. She hits several correct keys. The boulder slowly opens. Inch by Inch. But Andy suddenly hits a wrong note. Another huge section of floor drops out. Mouth nearly falls to his death. Stef grabs him. In the nick of time. MAMA AND THE BOYS are only a few feet from the opening. 134A INT. ORGAN CHAMBER 134A Data SCREAMS at Andy. DATA Faster, Andy! You gotta play faster! Andy tries to play faster. This causes the boulder to open a little more quickly. But in the frenzy, Andy manages to his a few wrong notes. The Sour notes always trigger another section of the floor to drop out. The goonies are diving. Leaping. Doing everything to avoid the deadly holes in the floor. Soon, only one section of the floor remains intact: the section holding the Organ. All of the kids are clustered together. Clutching, grabbing onto different sections of the organ. The remaining section of floor tilts and quivers. If this section drops, the organ will crumble and all of the goonies will fall to their deaths. MIKEY Mouth -- Say somethin' funny! MOUTH (screams in his own voice) We're all gonna die! Andy nods. Hands shaking. Dripping with sweat. She hurriedly plays the final bar of notes. Andy looks at the map's final note. Completely blurred. Andy pauses. Trying to decide what note to hit. BRAND (panicked, to Andy) Andy, whatever you do -- Don't screw up another note -- 116. MAMA, JAKE and FRANCIS arrive at the foot Of the chamber, still slipping and sliding. They reach up. Grabbing the chamber's ledge for support. Trying to crawl inside. 135 INT. ORGAN CHAMBER 135 Andy sits at the keyboards. Frozen. Trying to decide what note to hit. Seeing the Fratellis, Data SHOUTS to Andy. DATA Just play the mother! Andy closes her eyes. She raises her index finger. She randomly drops it onto the keyboard. A loud melodic note sounds through the tunnel. The boulder slowly opens. Wide enough for the kids to get through. Andy and the kids climb from the organ, through the opening! But Mikey's foot steps on yet another note! A wrong note! The organ begins to crumble! The floor holding the organ sways, and Mikey is still hanging on! Brand reaches out and grabs his brother’s hand! He pulls Mikey into the opening, seconds before the.entire organ and floor crumble into a million pieces! 136 INT. WATER SLIDE 136 The Goonies have escaped into a steep, long circular water slide! The goonies duck and dodge various jutting rocks and stallactites as they slide to the bottom! Screaming the whole way down! 137 INT. PIRATE SHIP CAVERN 137 A rocky wall. A small passageway. Less than four feet tall. It sits at the bottom of the wall. A miniature cave. A stream of water suddenly gushes out of the passageway. Brand, Mikey and Data also shoot out! They land in the pool of water below it. A few seconds pass. Mouth, Stef and Andy flow out! Ejected from the passageway! The kids catch their breath. Shaking the water from their ears. Spitting the water out of their lungs. Mikey sees something. His eyes get wide. His mouth drops open. Speechless. The others are soon met with the same sight. They are equally shocked. Delighted. Overwhelmed. For several moments, the kids stare. In wonderment. CAMERA PULLS BACK 117. We are in an enormous underground cavern. An enchanting, magical place. The high ceilings and walls are lined with sparkling rocks. A large pool of water stretches across the ground. The most amazing sight in the entire cavern, is an authentic, well preserved pirate ship! The gigantic ship is tilted on its side. Constructed of wood. Its crooked mast and tattered sails are in place. A black, skull and crossbones flag waves. At half mast. The figurehead of a beautiful woman adorns the ship’s bow. Ancient cannons jut from the side of the ship. Half of the ship is buried into the cavern wall. The result of a cave in. Hundreds of years ago. The kids continue to stare at the amazing sight. Speechless. CUT TO: 138 INT. HOLE WITH WOODEN SPIKES 138 Sloth climbs down the rope, moving toward the circular chamber. Chunk holds onto Sloth’s back. As they climb downward, Chunk looks at Sloth. CHUNK Ya, know -- You're hot such a strange lookin' guy. I used to have a snake with two heads. Sloth gives a GRUNT. Chunk keeps talking. CHUNK And I got this other friend -- Mitch -- He’s got this -- this big hairy thing growin’ out of his neck -- People always make fun of it. So he only goes out to play at night. (nods) Bet you only like to go out at night. Huh? Yeah. I know how ya' must feel. It's like when I go swimmin' at the public pool -- And I gotta’ take my shirt off. I get' really embarassed -- All the other guys got dark tans and ripples in their stomachs -- And I’m this Pillsbury Dough Boy. So I swim in a sweatshirt. 139 INT. CIRCULAR CHAMBER 139 118. Sloth gives an understanding GROAN. They arrive at the bottom and enter the circular chamber. Sloth and Chunk stare at the Pirate Skeleton with childlike astonishment. Sloth walks up to the skeleton, removes the Pirate hat and puts it on his head. He turns, wiggling his eyebrows to Chunk, his expression saying ”How do I look?” Chunk smiles. An honest expression on his face. CHUNK You -- are a stud! CUT TO: 140 INT. ORGAN CHAMBER 140 Mama, Jake and Francis move slowly, carefully. They walk, back to the wall, across a thin catwalk along the edge of the chamber wall. The catwalk was caused by the fallen floor. One slip and they’re dead. CUT TO: 141 INT. PIRATE CAVERN 141 The kids stand before the large pool of water. Mikey begins to. walk into the water. Brand grabs him. BRAND What if there’s more leeches? Mikey pauses. Data has a solution. He reaches into his shirt and pulls a cord. A large, yellow life raft pops out of his backpack. The raft begins to inflate. But it just doesn't stop. It continues to get bigger -- Bigger -- until -- BOOM! It explodes! The sound sends a shudder through the ancient cavern! A small rumbling is heard. Tiny pieces of earth crumble from the cavern ceiling. The kids exchange a frightened glance. With this they jump into the shallow water and hurry toward the ship. As they wade through the water, Mikey stares in astonishment at the ship. MIKEY Willy had it all planned out -- He was waitin’ for us -- Don’t ya’ get it? He’s been waitin’ for us for three hundred years. It’s almost like -- like he wants to invite us aboard -- 119. The kids continue to hurry forward. Stef suddenly feels something strange, brushing against her thigh underwater. She turns to Mouth, who is behind her. Stef glares at him, raising her hand as if to slap him. STEF Watch yer hands! Touch me again and I’ll She-Вор you! Mouth gives a puzzled shrug. Stef turns back around. CAMERA FANS underwater. We see a giant, slitherly tentacle wiggling a few inches from Stef's thigh. The tentacle begins to rub Stef’s thigh. CLOSE - STEF Her face glowing with anger. She raises her hand, ready to slap Mouth. STEF I warned you— Stef turns and gives a hard slap to -- A giant squid! Its bloodshot eye and tentacle are face to face with Stef! It has shot out of the water, between Stef and Mouth. Stef is speechless! In shock! The squid retaliates with a slap to Stef, knocking her into the water! The goonies clutch each other. Terrified. Another tentacle swoops down, with the sound of a cracking whip, the tentacle slams into the water between the kids. MIKEY What is it?!? DATA Giant sushi!!! The bloodshot eye of the squid moves just above the surface past the goonies as another tentacled arm sucks across Andy's breasts, pulling her toward the squid's gaping mouth. Data removes his cassette player from his backpack. He turns it on! Cranking the volume. The Talking Heads "Burning Down the House" blasts from the twin speakers! Data throws the cassette player into the squid's mouth. 120. The squid reels back, letting go of Andy! The booming chorus of the Head's song reverberates through the squid's body. It trembles. Quivers. In shock. The monster shoots away from the goonies. It is crazed by the rock n' roll. The squid wildly bounces off the cavernous walls, trying to make the music stop. The squid inadvertantly does a comic dance, rocking to the beat of the music and the kids watch it disappear. Far into the cavern. The goonies run to the pirate ship. Scared out of their wits. They arrive at the ship's bow. The gigantic ship towers over them. Mikey jumps up. He begins to climb the side of the ship. Placing his foot in the thin cracks of wood. The other kids hurriedly follow. Mikey shouts down to them. MIKEY Be careful- - This wood's really old. One splinter and you're in for hepatitis -- spinal meningitis -- lockjaw -- Mikey continues babbling as he climbs over the ship’s top. 142 INT. PIRATE CAVERN 142 The kids climb aboard. They stand on the ship's crooked deck. The deck is long and wide. Covered with old, creaky boards. Various swords and knives hang on a weapon rack. On the outside wall of the main cabin. The kids look for a way out. Brand and Mouth scan the wall of weapons. Looking for a door. Mikey runs up onto the raised deck. Stef and Andy find a trap door. But it is locked by several thick, metal chains. Data walks up to the ship's extended, curved ventilator. Data crawls into the wide ventilator opening. Moving along the raised deck, Mikey backs into something. He turns. A pirate stands there! His back to Mikey. The pirate is huddled over the ship's huge, wooden steering wheel. He is dressed in a tattered, colorful pirate costume. Mikey catches his breath. He reaches out, touching the pirate. A CREAK. The Pirate turns. Mikey is face to face with a grinning Pirate skull. Two daggers protruding from the deep eye sockets! Mikey SCREAMS. Everyone rushes to him. Save for Data. The kids examine the skeleton. Stef pulls one of the daggers from the eye socket. Examining it. The dagger's handle is lined with small sparkling jewels. Diamonds. Andy grabs the other dagger. Examining the jewels. 121. ANDY Think these are real? MIKEY If they are -- I'll make a necklace out of ’em for ya’. Andy gives Mikey a ruffle to his hair. He’d rather have another kiss. They are interrupted by Data’s voice. Screaming for help. Everyone turns. Data’s tiny legs protrude from the ventilator’s hole. Kicking. Data is stuck. The kids come to his rescue. Brand and Mouth each grab one of Data’s legs. Pulling. Hard. Instead of pulling Data out of the ventilator -- Brand and Mouth pull the ventilator out of the deck! Data falls on his bottom. Still inside of the ventilator. A large hole has replaced the ventilator. In the ship's deck. Andy peers into the dark hole. Her head pops back out. Nose crinkled. Coughing. It's dusty. Andy looks at the others. ANDY Can't see anything -- Andy motions for the others to follow. She lowers herself into the hole. Data has managed to squirm out of the ventilator. He follows the others into the bowels of the ship. Before entering, Mikey takes a shot from his breath alizer. 143 INT. PIRATE SHIP - BENEATH THE TOP DECK 143 The kids enter the large cabin below deck. A thick layer of greyish brown dust covers the floor. The kids huddle close together. The kids feet move through the thick dust. Mikey stops. Noticing something in the middle of the ceiling. A small yellow glow. Shining through the dust! Mikey points it out to the others. MIKEY Cool. Yellow stuff. The kids clear the dust with their hands. The glowing gets brighter. Brighter. The dust is cleared. An area of boards is visible. Bright golden light glimmers. Through the cracks. The kids exchange hopeful glances. Mouth gives a sarcastic smirk. MOUTH Great. We found Three Mile Island. 122. Mikey spots another riddle. Carved into the beams. Mouth translate*, in the voice of the British Pirate. MOUTH "Ye Intruders Beware, Crushing death and grief, Soaked with blood, Of the trespassing thief." DATA That’s the first riddle -- From the attic. Mikey excitedly stands on a bench. He grabs hold of a loose board. He pulls. Hard. The ship creaks and shudders. But the kids are too curious to care. Mikey continues to pull. Finally, the board snaps. A glaring shaft of light! Shining through the rectangular hole! Mikey smiles at the others. They are anxious. Excited. Everyone grabs hold of a board! As each board is removed, more light fills the cabin. The ship continues to creak and groan. The kids work fast. Urgent. Pulling away more boards. The ceiling above the kids begins to weaken. The small section of ceiling gives, tumbling down onto the kids, revealing the glorious light. 144 INT. TREASURE CABIN 144 The kids have climbed into a large room. Filled with the treasure! A magical room. Glistening with all the colors of the rainbow. The room is literally a garden of jewels. There are trees with branches of silver and gold coins, and leaves of emeralds. Rose bushes are made of sparkling rubies. There are flowers of sapphires. Bushes made of pearls. There is even a half moon, suspended in the air, made of diamonds. Scattered throughout the jewel garden, are hundreds of other items. Drinking goblets. Necklaces. Rings. Crowns. More treasure than the kids (or the audience) has ever seen in one room! Pirate skeletons surround the treasure. Arms crossed. Armed with swords. Guardians of the treasure. And sitting in the middle of all of this, at a long wooden table covered with a feast of treasure, is One Eyed Willy. A look of total respect and admiration cover Mikey’s face. He nods to One Eyed Willy. 123. MIKEY Hello. I'm Mike Walsh. These are my friends. You've been expecting us, and well, here we are -- we made it, Willy. All in one piece too -- so far. Mikey notices an ancient version of what could be taken for a breathalizer sitting in front of One Eyed Willy. Mikey smiles. Curious, Mikey reachs and lifts One Eyed Willy's eye patch. There is no socket. It is a solid skull. Mikey reverantly replaces the patch. MIKEY One Eyed Willy -- You were the first Goonie. The others are ecstatic! Joyous! Laughing and giggling wildly! They make a mad scramble for the treasure. They begin to load themselves with the pieces. Stuffing their pockets, shirts, pants and socks. Andy and Stef try on rings and necklaces. Data wears a huge golden crown. It covers most of his head. Mouth begins to gather his favorite pieces, he reaches over to the small pile of jewels in front of One Eyed Willy. Mikey stops Mouth. MIKEY That's his. Don't mess with it. Mouth shrugs and grabs more jewels from the floor. Mikey finds a large ruby. MIKEY My Dad's gonna die when he sees what we brung him. He'll get ten hours sleep tonight! BRAND Don't take anything you can't carry. (a beat) We'll come back for bigger stuff later. Mike removes his marble bag. He empties all the marbles and fills the bag with small, choice jewels. STEF Hurry it up. Those creepos are still cornin' after us -- ANDY What're we gonna do? 124. MIKEY I know -- The Hardy Boys did this once -- The kids listen. Continuing to stuff themselves with treasure. Their clothes bulge. Tight. Like they’re wearing fat suits. Mikey continues. MIKEY We can leave a trail of this stuff -- Leadin' to one a' those -- skeleton caves -- While they follow the trail -- We'll be hidin' out in another cave! We'll take 'em out! Then we can make a run for it! MAMA (O.S.) That's a good plan. Real good plan. The kids turn. Mama, Jake and Francis stand in the cabin. Jake and Francis are armed with swords and knives from the weapon rack. Mama points her gun at the kids. Laughing. The kids look at each other. Frightened. Suddenly, Data fumes with anger. He cries out. DATA That's if -- This is war! We will not be taken alive!!! (opens his shirt, pulls a cord and screams) "intimidator!" Data’s arms, legs and crotch begin to expand, giving him enormous muscles! Lifts in his shoes cause Data's height to expand! Data begins to look -- Intimidating! But his muscles continue to grow. Getting bigger -- Bigger -- Bigger -- Until suddenly -- Boom! They explode! But Data is undaunted! He screams. DATA Optional Bully buster! 125. Data opens his coat and pulls another cord! Several rows of flash cubes are attached to Data's coat! They begin to flash! First they are effective, but soon fizzle out because of Data’s contact with the water! Data's eyes are raging! He begins to pull every cord on his body! One by one, each of his home made devices is tripped. But alas, as always, they don't work! Green smoke, meant to be used as a smoke screen, slowly billows out of Data's clothing. GI JOE toys pop out of his shirt and pockets, firing plastic projectiles that only travel a few inches before hitting the floor. Countless ball bearings shoot out of his pant leg and cuff. There are bottle rockets, sparklers, firecrackers -- Everything shoots from Data's body! But nothing works! Data’s body is a literal explosion of junk! The Fratellis watch, both amazed and amused by what is going on. JAKE This kid’s better than Fourth of July in Asbury Bark! Finally, Data hits the "Out” button on his belt buckle. The belt buckle flips open! The suction cup projectile shoots forward! It attaches itself to Mama’s gun! Data hits the "IN" switch on his belt, trying to reel in the gun. But Mama holds tight! The powerful ‘suction cup pulls Data toward Mama! Data stares in shock as he and Mama collide! This causes an electrical shock which sends the two of them flying across the room! Mama also drops her gun! Data gets to his feet. He and the frightened goonies run out of the room! Jake and Francis revive Mama and follow! In hot pursuit! 145 INT. TOP DECK 145 The kids run across the top deck. The Fratellis are right behind them! Bigger! Faster! They manage to tackle the kids! They surround the goonies. Swords pointed at the kids throats. Mama glares at the kids. MAMA Up! Up on yer feet! The kids stand. MAMA Now go on!!! Empty out all those goodies from downstairs! Move it! 126. The kids lift their shirts and begin to empty the jewels onto the deck. Rubies, diamonds, emeralds roll out onto the deck. Mama stares at the treasure. Her eyes fill with greed. Then Mama goes over to Mouth. She looks at him as if something was not quite right with him. MAMA You got awful quiet all of a sudden. Mouth just smiles, keeping his mouth closed. MAMA C’mon chum -- open your yap!! Mouth reluctantly opens his mouth and a truckload of gems spill out. Not satisfied, Mama sees something on Mouth’s tongue, reaches in and pulls out about three feet of beaded pearls. 146 INT. PIRATE SHIP - TOP DECK 146 The goonies are tied up. They stand in line, at the edge of the deck. Mama walks to a wooden plank. Built onto the ship's edge. She turns and looks at the kids. MAMA Ya' wanna play Pirate?. (sadistic smile) We'll play Pirate. Mama pushes out the plank. A long thick board. It extends far over the edge of the ship. It overlooks the deepest section of water. Mama walks back to the kids. She paces in front of the kids. She looks them over, deciding who's first! Mama looks at Andy. Andy gives a hard kick to Mama's shins. Mama doubles over. Andy snaps. ANDY You gross old witch! Mama looks up. Eyes glowing with rage. She moves the tip of her sword to Andy's throat. Mama growls. MAMA Move it, sweetie. 127. Andy steps out. Mama pokes her with the sword. Andy walks to the plank. The kids watch. Horrified. Andy steps onto the plank. Mama stays behind. Jabbing Andy with the sword. Andy begins to walk the plank. The other kids watch. Helpless. Mikey's eyes fill with tears. Andy continues to walk. Only a few feet from the end of the board. She looks down. The deep water sparkles below. Andy gives a frightened gulp. Mama,is a few feet behind her. Resembling" an old pirate witch. Mama gives a mad cackle. MAMA Hold your breath, sweetie. Mama jabs Andy. Andy falls off the plank. She hits the water! A loud splash! Brand cries out! BRAND No!!! Brand dashes forward. Out of line. MIKEY Brand! Before the Fratelli brothers can stop -- Brand leaps over the side of the ship! We hear a splash! Brand sinks. Under the deep water. Mikey hides his eyes. Scared. Trembling. Mama turns to the kids. She gives a vicious smile. MAMA Two down. Who's next. 147 INT. UNDERWATER 147 Andy sinks to the bottom of the deep pool. Hands tied behind her back. Andy holds her breath. Cheeks puffed with air. Brand floats downward. A few feet above Andy. He struggles with the rope binding his hands. With a few twists of his wrists, Brand’s hands come free. He swims toward Andy. He grabs Andy. Her eyes are wavering. Nearly unconscious. Brand puts his arm around Andy. Holding tight. He swims upward. Using all of his strength! Brand swims toward the surface and pulls Andy onto a rock next to the ship. 148 EXT. ROCK NEXT TO PIRATE SHIP 148 128. Brand leans over the unconscious Andy. Giving her mouth to mouth. Andy suddenly wakes. She sits up. Coughing. Brand holds her. Comforting her. She composes herself. Giving a puzzled look to Brand. ANDY Where am -- Oh -- (suddenly remembers) You jumped in? To save me? Brand gives a modest nod. Andy throws her arms around Brand. Planting a long, hard kiss on his lips. A few moments gass. Andy breaks the kiss. She withdraws her lips. A puzzled expression covers her face. She reaches into Brand’s mouth and seem to be feeling for something. Puzzled, she withdraws her fingers, looking at Brand. ANDY What happened to your braces -- BRAND I don't wear braces -- Mikey wears -- She suddenly understands. They both stop and look at each other. ANDY Oh God! CUT TO: 149 INT. TOP DECK 149 Mouth and Stef have been tied together. Back to Back. They are walking the plank. A few inches from the end. Mama stands behind them, jabbing them with the sword. Edging them forward. Stef looks back to Mouth. An honest, serious expression in her eyes. STEF How long can you hold your breath? MOUTH An hour. STEF Be serious now!!! MOUTH 129. Actually -- About ten seconds. You were always Champion of that underwater stuff. STEF Clarke? -- When you run out of air, just turn your face to me and I'11 share whatever I’ve got left. Mouth looks at Stef, he is so touched by this, he cannot speak for the first time in his life. Mama jabs Mouth and Stef. They go off the edge. Suddenly, a loud pirate scream pierces the air! Everyone turns. To the direction of the scream. SLOTH Swings down from the ship’s mast. He is dressed in bright Pirate clothing. A sword is strapped to his waist. Sloth emits another loud scream. Before Mouth and Stef hit the water. Sloth scoops them up! Saving their lives! Carrying Mouth and Stef under his arm, Sloth swings back onto the deck. He safely places Mouth and Stef beside the other kids. Sloth turns to Mama and the boys. Sloth growls. He flexes his muscles. His shirt begins to rip. Tear. Muscles bulging. For the first time, we see that Sloth has an incredible, muscular body! He has transformed from a grotesque creature into a virtual superhero! Stef stares at Sloth. Awestruck. STEF Hunk city! With everyone’s attention focused on Sloth, Chunk sneakily climbs over the ship’s side. His torn and tattered clothes have now taken on the appearance of a Pirate costume. Chunk sneaks up behind the kids. They are shocked to see him. BRAND Chunk?!? CHUNK "Captain” Chunk! Chunk begins to untie the kids' hands. Meanwhile, Mama points to Sloth. She snaps at Francis and Jake. MAMA Get him! 130. The two come at Sloth. Their swords are extended. Ready for a fight. Francis swings his sword at Sloth. Sloth ducks. He picks up Francis, lifting him above his head. Sloth throws his brother through the air. Francis flies inside of the ship's figurehead! Francis head breaks through the woman figure's head. This creates a bizarre image: The shapely body of the figurehead, adorned with the head of the unconscious Francis. Chunk still unties the kids. Mikey works with him. Speeding up the process. Sloth continues his swordfight with Jake. Sloth fights like the expert Pirates he's seen on TV. DATA Pinchers of Peril!!! Data fires his clapping teeth. The teeth clamp down on Jake's crotch, doubling him over! Sloth grabs the sword from Jake's hand and breaks it in two. Sloth throws a hard punch to Jake's jaw! The powerful punch sends Jake flying across the deck floor! He skids into a pyramid of cannonballs! Konk! He's out cold! Chunk has untied all of the kids! They run to the side of the ship! Beneath them, Andy and Brand wade in the water. Brand shouts to his friends. BRAND C' mon! Jump! The kids jump over the side, into the water! Meanwhile, Mama finds herself face to face with Sloth. Sloth growls at her. Mama holds her sword. Trying to reason with Sloth. MAMA Okay -- So maybe I treated ya’ bad -- Keepin' ya' locked in that room -- It was for your own good. Sloth gives a louder growl. He walks toward Mama, ready to attack. Mama pleads. Frightened. MAMA 131. I ain’t always been bad to ya’ -- Don’t ya’ remember? When you were a little one? I’d sing ya' to sleep?. Sloth grabs the sword from Mama. He throws it overboard. He picks up Mama in his arms -- ready to throw, her overboard. She begins to sing. MAMA "Rockabye baby, in the treetop -- When the wind blows, the cradle will rock -- " He pauses. Listening. The song is warm, comforting. It brings a pleasant smile to his face. He begins to gently rock Mama in his arms. She continues to sing. MAMA "When' the bow breaks, the cradle will fall --" Sloth smiles. He drops mama overboard! As she falls, Sloth sings the final verse. SLOTH "-- and down will come baby, cradle and all!" Mama hits the water! Meanwhile, the kids are all in the water. They have begun their escape, swimming to the shore. Sloth jumps into the water. He swings toward the kids. When Sloth makes it to the kids, Chunk introduces him. CHUNK Guys -- This is Sloth. He's just like us. A reject. ABOARD THE PIRATE SHIP Mama climbs back onto the deck. Soaking wet. She sees the kids swimming away. Her eyes are angry, frustrated. But their is something more importang on her mind. She runs to Jake. He still lies beside the cannonball pile. Dazed. Mama slaps him. He stirs. MAMA Wake up! Get Francis! Let’s go get the rest of the goods! 150 INT. TREASURE CABIN 150 132. Mama, Jake and Francis enter. They greedily begin to stuff their pockets with the treasure. Mama walks to where One Eyed Willy is seated. She reaches for the pile of treasure in front of One Eye Willy. Mama grabs the pile. But it is attached to a long, metal chain! Mama pulls hard on the chain! This begins another of One Eyed Willy's chain reaction booby traps. One Eyed Willy's skeleton shoots upward, toward the ceiling! A trap door in the ceiling opens! Mama and the boys watch in shock! 151 INT. TOP DECK 151 One Eyed Willy's skeleton flies through the trap door on the Captain's deck. He lands directly in front of the ship's steering wheel. In rtibe goldberg fashion, the trap door hits a cannonball, which rolls along a path in the ship's deck, which is connected to a long section of wood that stretches to the cavern ceiling, the wood is connected to the ceiling's support system. The cannonball hits the section of wood, causing the wood to snap, causing the entire support system to become undone. The entire cavern begins to shudder. Rumble. The Pirate ship tilts. Shakes. The sails buckle. The ship's anchors raise. THE GOONIES and Sloth have waded to the shore. They quickly haul out of the boat. Dashing to the cavern entrance. The entire cavern begins to shake. Like an earthquake, The ground begins to break. Opening. The walls begin to crack. Crumble. Pieces of rock begin to fall. Crashing to the ground. MAMA AND THE BOYS have run onto the top of the tilting ship deck! Running for their lives. But they tumble and roll across the deck. They fall off the trembling ship. Into the water! THE GOONIES arrive at the Cavern entrance. Boulders and earth fall in front of the entrance. Causing it to collapse. Sloth moves forward. Not unlike Sampson, Sloth holds out his mighty arms. He grabs each side of the cavern,walls. Holding them in place. He supports the crumbling ceiling with his strong back. This keeps the passageway open. 133. Sloth motions for the kids to hurry inside. The kids crawl through his legs. Out of the cavern! Rocks and boulders fall all around Sloth. But he doesn’t budge. Doesn’t flinch. AL1 of the kids have crawled to safety. Chunk is the last to join them. Sloth turns. Ready to join the kids. But something catches his eye. He sees Mama and his brothers. In the water. Struggling for their lives. Chunk holds out his hand to Sloth. CHUNK Sloth! C’mon! Take my hand! Sloth shakes his head. He turns and gives an innocent hiss to Chunk’s cheek. Sloth releases his grip on the walls and ceiling. He steps back out into the cavern. Chunk cries out. CHUNK Sloth! No! An avalanche of falling earth seals the cavern entrance! Forming a permanent wall between Chunk and Sloth! 152 INT. PIRATE SHIP CAVERN 152 The entire cavern is being devastated. The sails fill with wind. The Pirate ship begins to move, with One Eyed Willy at the wheel. Sloth swims to Mama and the boys. He wraps his enormous arms around them. Saving their lives! They look up seeing the Pirate ship shaking in front of them. 153 INT. ESCAPE TUNNEL 153 The Goonies are trapped in a dark, rumbling, shaking passageway. Both sides of the passageway have begun to cave in! Closing in on the trapped Goonies! Brand screams. BRAND Data! We need one a' your lights!!! Data FUMBLES in his backpack for a light. He reaches back for the last ROAD FLARE. But, unbeknownst to Data, he hasn't GRABBED a road flare -- it’s the stick of DYNAMITE! 134. Data LIGHTS the stick! It SPARKS, illuminating the passageway! The goonies LOOK AROUND! They see the CRUMBLING DIRT COMING AT THEM FROM BOTH SIDES! There, is NO WAY OUT! Suddenly, Data NOTICES something strange about the flare -- DATA Hey -- this isn’t a road flare -- it's -- it’s -- (total shock) DYNAMITE!!! The KIDS TURN AND RUN!! Data runs in circles, trying to find a place for the SPARKING DYNAMITE! He SEES A CRACK IN THE WALL, emitting a SMALL AMOUNT OF LIGHT! Data INSERTS the dynamite INTO THE CRACK! Data RUNS to his friend! They CLUSTER TOGETHER! Ears PLUGGED! Eyes CLOSED! BOOM!!! The dynamite ROCKS the already quivering passageway! A few moments pass. The kids OPEN their eyes through the SMOKE! The dynamite has BLOWN A LARGE HOLE INTO THE WALL! An OPENING! LEADING to the outside world! The EXCITED Goonies RUN toward the hole! They EXIT, SECONDS BEFORE the passageway COLLAPSES! 154 EXT. ESCAPE TUNNEL - DAWN 154 The goonies STAND in a small, rocky ALCOVE. The stretch of OCEAN is in front of them. The heavy RUMBLING becomes a muffled echo in the background. One Eyed Willy's caverns and passageways are being SEALED FOREVER! The GOONIES pause to breathe in the fresh sea air! Their bodies are scratched and BRUISED covered with MUD and DIRT. Their clothes are in TATTERS, hanging like RAGS. They have gone through a visual TRANSFORMATION from Goon kids to COURAGEOUS ADVENTURERS. 155 EXT. BEACH - DAY 155 A NATIONAL PARK RANGER slams on his DUNE BUGGY brakes, squints curiously into the distance, now raises his binoculars to get a better look. His jaw drops as he reaches for his radio. RANGER (into radio) 135. Harvey? Get the Sheriff on the horn -- I think I just found that bunch of Goober's he's been looking for - - 156 EXT. RANGER STATION AND BEACH - DAY 156 The Ranger Station parking lot is PACKED. SHERIFF’S CARS. AMBULANCES. LOCAL PRESS. PARENTS and ONLOOKERS. The Goonies emerge from the Ranger Station as the Crowd CHEERS and the PARENTS rush forward to meet their kids. CLOSER ANGLE IRENE rushes up to Mikey and Brand. MR. WALSH and ROSALITA can be seen farther back in the Crowd. Mikey looks at up at Irene with embarrassed eyes. MIKEY Hi, mom. Guess we’re dead meat, huh? Irene can’t hide her smile, or the happy tears in her eyes. She WRAPS HER ARMS around Mikey and Brand, embracing them tightly. ANOTHER ANGLE CHUNK runs to an obese MAN and WOMAN. His PARENTS. The man is dressed exactlt like CHUNK. Hawaiian shirt. Plaid Bermuda shorts. Black knee socks. The WOMAN wears a FLOWERED DRESS, holds a CARDBOARD BOX COVERED WITH TIN FOIL. Chunk embraces his parents. MOM Lawrence! We were so worried! (holds out proudly) Here, darling -- I wrapped supper for you. It’s your favorite -- MOM gives the foiled-wrapped CARTON to Chunk. He grabs it excitedly, rips the foil away -- HOT DOGS! LOADED WITH EVERYTHING! CAMERA PANS TO: MOUTH and STEF. Mouth LOOKS at Stef. A SERIOUS, HONEST look on his face. He SPEAKS IN HIS OWN VOICE. MOUTH 136. Just wanted to say -- well, thanks. Ya’ know -- for savin’ me and all. I really appreciated it. STEF (shocked) Wow!-- a real moment. You know, your voice is nice, when you’re not using your mouth. MOUTH You know -- your face is pretty, when you blur your eyes. CAMERA PANS TO ANDY AND MIKEY WATCHING. SMILING. Andy turns to Mikey, a warm smile on her face. ANDY Mikey -- you just keep kissin' girls the way you do -- and the parts a’ you that don’t work so good -- are gonna catch up with the parts that do! BRAND walks up. He puts his arm around Andy. They walk away together. CAMERA FOLLOWING. Brand gives Andy an impressed look. BRAND Lifetime Goonie? ANDY You bet your sweet ass. She GRABS Brand and kisses him. Mikey stands a few feet away WATCHING. ALONE. JEALOUS. He begins to COUGH. He removes his PRIMOTENE MIST. Ready to take a shot. He pauses, looks at the breathalizer, then tosses it on the ground. WHO NEEDS IT? Through the Crowd, Mr. Walsh has noticed, smiles proudly. Suddenly, everyone is INTERRUPTED. A group of POLICEMEN rush to the shore! ANGLE ON SLOTH SLOTH walks out of the ocean! DRAGGING the waterlogged MAMA, JAKE, and FRANCIS. The POLICE quickly take Mama and the boys into custody. Chunk’s EYES LIGHT UP, seeing Sloth. He runs to him, holding out his carton of hot dogs. 137. CHUNK Sloth! Sloth! Sloth gives a happy GRUNT, glad to see his friend. He picks up Chunk, who offers him the carton. CHUNK Look! Hot dogs! SLOTH (singing happily with instant recognition) Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs -- Sloth devours a giant hot dog in a single gulp as Chunk’s PARENTS watch in HORRIFIED AWE. CHUNK (shyly) He’s my new best friend -- and Dad? If they take away our house and we have to move to New York -- I thought maybe we could adopt him -- get him a job with the New York Jets -- or with the Rangers as Head Goalie -- Sloth destroys another hot dog, BELCHES VOLCANICALLY as Chunk’s Parents exchange a PARALYZED LOOK. ANOTHER ANGLE Mama and the Boys are HANDCUFFED, then put into the back of a FOLICE VAN. CAMERA PANS AS: MR. PERKINS and TROY suddenly pull up in a white Cadillac convertible, screech to a stop! They get out quickly, approaching Mr. Walsh, who stands at the edge of the crowd with Mikey. Mr. Perkins advances aggressively, waving a piece of paper. PERKINS Today’s the day, Walsh, so let’s get this over with! Your house is blocking the start of our new first fairway, so I've decided to begin the demolition with you -- WALSH If -- if you could just hold off for a bit, Mr. Perkins -- maybe -- maybe I could find -- 138. TROY Oh, come on, old man. My daddy doesn’t have all day! There’s fifty more houses to destroy after yours! PERKINS (yelling off) Sheriff! You come on over here and witness this -- Mr. Walsh nervously takes out HIS Primotene Mist, then looks down at Mikey who stares back up, tears in his eyes. MIKEY I’m sorry, Dad -- we had our hands on the future, but -- (his lower lip starts to quiver) We blew it -- we threw it all away to save out lives. Mr. Walsh fights to hold back a tear. WALSH You and Brand are back. Safe. With your mother and me -- (grits his teeth, THROWS AWAY the Primotene Mist) That makes us the richest people in Cauldron Point. PERKINS Walsh? They turn. Mr. Perkins grins cruelly. PERKINS You’re looking at the richest people in Cauldron Point. Now sign it. Troy props the paper up against his father’s hack for signature, whips out a pen with a sickening smile. TROY Here. Use my pen. I'11 even let you keep it as a souvenir. Mr. Walsh tries to steady himself, trembling, looks off: ANGLE ON GOONIE CROWD 139. The CROWD is hushed as the rest of the GOONIES and their PARENTS turn to watch helplessly. BACK TO SCENE Mr. Walsh slwoly takes the pen from Troy, lifts an unsteady arm, stares at the paper, eyes misting over. He STARTS TO SIGN as the Sheriff takes a sympathetic step forward, stopping him. SHERIFF Now listen up, Mr. Perkins. Maybe this isn’t the proper time or place to -- PERKINS I’m not interested in your ethical opinions, Sheriff,. Just your signature as a witness. If you’d been doing your duty, if you’d been on the ball -- you’d have found my son’s car by now, isn’t that right? SHERIFF (spits in disgust) Oh, hell -- (suddenly looks off) I already found your son’s damn car -- TROY (ecited) You did? Where is it? SHERIFF (pointing) Just about to run you over, Troy -- Mr. Walsh grits his teeth, oblivious to everything. He begins to SIGN as Perkins TURNS, and the signature is written ACROSS THE BACK OF HIS JACKET! ANGLE ON GORILLAS AND RED MUSTANG - THEIR POV The RED MUSTANG careens into the parking lot at high speed, the GORILLAS behind the wheel! It heads straight for the CROWD, spinning out at the last second, squealing sideways, CRASHING INTO THE SIDE OF MR. PERKINS’ WHITE CADILLAC! TROY Daddy! Your new car!! 140. The Gorillas SCREAM back at Troy with equal excitment, covering their eyes. Bonzo whips the car into reverse, roars off through the Crowd as BYSTANDERS DIVE FOR SAFETY! ANGLE ON CROWD One entire side of the white Cadillac is caved in! The stunned CROWD suddenly bursts into CHERRING, APPLAUSE, AND LAUGHTER! PERKINS (purple with rage) Don't you people laugh at me! No one ever laughs at me! The LAUGHTER grows LOUDER! Even Mr. Walsh and Mikey start to join in. ANGLE ON EDGE OF CROWD Sloth watches from the rear edge of the Crowd. To one side of him is Chunk. To the other, ROSALITA. They all laugh heartily with everyone else as SUDDENLY: SLOTH'S EXPRESSION BEGINS TO CHANGE! His eyes ROLL. He begins to COUGH, feeling CURIOUS RUMBLINGS in his stomach. The Crowd's laughter continues as he POUNDS himself in the chest, trying to clear his massive airways as: A GLEAMING OBJECT EJECTS ITSELF FROM HIS MOUTH!! ANGLE ON ROSALITA The OBJECT hits the ground at Rosalita's FEET. She looks down curiously, then picks it up, EYES WIDENING with surprise. IT IS A HUGE, SPARKLING DIAMOND! BACK TO SLOTH Sloth is DOUBLED OVER now, INNER EXPLOSIONS wracking his huge body. A concerned CHUNK rushes over to him. CHUNK Sloth! Sloth -- (trying to yell over Crowd's laughter) Somebody get a giant Bromo, quick! 141. Sloth straightens up, looks at his friend, then GRINS, his mouth falling open: IT IS FILLED WITH JEWELS FROM THE PIRATE SHIP!! BACK TO ROSALITA SEEING. REALIZING. Holding the diamond up high, she starts to make her way through the boisterous CROWD. BACK TO PERKINS The furious Perkins SLAMS the PAPER down on what’s left of the hood of his car, turns on Mr. Walsh. The Crowd’s LAUGHTER is beginning to subside. PERKINS Had your fun, Walsh? Well, that’s okay. I’ve got the rest of my life to laugh at you -- Troy holds out the pen. The Crowd QUIETS as Mr. Walsh exchanges a sad look with Mikey, then takes it, reluctantly leans over the hood of the car. ANGLE ON DATA DATA stands with his PARENTS, his eyes glassed over. He looks off at MOUTH who stands with STEF nearby. DATA (a whisper) I sure am gonna miss bein’ a Goonie -- TO SCENE A HEAVY SIGH, Mr. Walsh starts to put pen to paper in as: ROSALITA'S VOICE (from middle of crowd, in Spanish) Wait! Don’t sign! Walsh looks up, momentarily pausing, then leans over the hood again, ignoring ROSALITA'S VOICE as the Crowd MUMBLES curiously. ROSALITA’S VOICE (in Spanish) Don’t sign! Don’t sign! BACK TO MOUTH AND STEF 142. STEF (turns curiously) You speak Spanish. What’s she saying? MOUTH Don’t -- (thinking) Don’t sit down -- no -- don't shoot -- don’t throw up -- don’t -- (SUDDENLY REALIZING) DON’T SIGN!! BACK TO WALSH MR. WALSH HAS BEGUN TO WRITE HIS SIGNATURE AS: Mouth and Stef rush up! Mikey rushes up! Rosalita rushes up! EVERYONE DON’T SIGN! Mikey GRABS the piece of paper, pulling Mr. Walsh’s PEN ACROSS IT IN A STRAIGHT LINE! Perkins and Troy stare unbelievingly as Rosalita holds up the DIAMOND to a dumbfounded Mr. Walsh and: CHUNK’S VOICE Hey, Goonies! LOOK!! ANGLE ON CHUNK As EVERYONE TURNS. Chunk raises his CUPPED HANDS, now opens them: CLOSE ON CHUNK'S HANDS FILLED WITH GEMSTONES! Sparkling DIAMONDS! Glorious. RUBIES! Bright EMERALDS! BACK TO SCENE Sloth BELCHES. THREE MORE JEWELS are ejected from his mouth! The CROWD CHEERS as the GOONIES rush to Sloth, swarming over him like mountain climbers, JEWELS erupting from his mouth as they pummel him like a huge vending machine. SEVERAL REPORTERS rush up SNAPPING PICTURES, peppering the Goonies with questions. 143. SHERIFF (newly arrived, at Chunk) Tellin' more stories, Lawrence? CHUNK Wait -- this time I’m tellin' the truth, Sheriff, honest! The Sheriff smiles patronizingly, turns, starts to walk away. HE SEES SOMETHING IN THE DISTANCE, STOPS, THUNDERSTRUCK!! SHERIFF Holy Mary Mother of God -- (jaw drops) LOOK!! EVERYONE turns to look with AUDIBLE GASPS, as WE SEE: ANGLE ON PIRATE SHIP - THEIR POV THE PIRATE SHIP, SAILING across the ocean. A MAGICAL SIGHT. CAMERA PANS the faces of everyone on shore. POLICEMEN. THE SHERIFF. SLOTH. IRENE. MR. WALSH. THE GOONIES. Staring in AWE. ANGLE ON MIKEY THE BACK OF MIKEY’S HEAD. He turns slowly to face the AUDIENCE, WEARING THE BLACK PATCH OF ONE EYED WILLY. MIKEY WINKS at all of us with a warm smile. BACK TO PIRATE SHIP Farther away in the distance now. A GRACEFUL, ROMANTIC DOT against the beautiful horizon AS WE: FADE OUT: THE END