She is a true psychic. She sees beyond the relativity of time. For her there is no past, present or future. There is only what is.
And she's never wrong.
Don't think of it in terms of right and wrong. She is a guide, Neo. She can help you find the path.
She helped you?
Yes.
What did she tell you?
Morpheus, I don't think this is a good idea.
Why?
I told you I don't believe in this stuff. No matter what she says I'm not going to believe it, so what's the point?
What do you believe in?
What do I believe it? Are you kidding me? What do you think? I'm still trying to deal with the fact that everything I believed was real, wasn't. The whole world, my entire life was a lie. I don't know anything anymore, Morpheus.
That's why we're here.
Why? So I can hear some old lady tell me, what? That I'm this guy that everybody's been waiting for? The one that's supposed to save the world? Come on. How do I respond to that? I can't. It's ridiculous. I mean who am I? I'm nobody, I'm just a guy. What did I do, Morpheus? Why me?
Faith is beyond the reach of whys and why nots. These things are not a matter of cause and effect, Neo. I do not believe things with my mind. I believe them with my heart. In my gut.
And you still believe I'm the One?
Yes I do.
Did you believe in them too?
Listen to me, Neo. I know why you're afraid to go through that door. You can't get free of thinking that I could be wrong. You must believe me. There is a greatness inside of you, Neo. A greatness that is going to lift you to unimaginable heights and that in time will change the world.
Morpheus, I don't know --
No. No! Morpheus! Don't!
Morpheus, the Oracle... she told me --
How is he?
Got it.
Now left and that's it in front of you.
Tank.
Goddamn! It's good to hear your voice, sir!
We need an exit.
Got one ready, sir. Subway. State and Balbo.
Tank, charge the E.M.P.
I'm going to make the call.
How...?!
Hello?
I know. You're Neo. Be right with you.
You're the Oracle?
Bingo. Not quite what you were expecting, right? I got to say I love seeing you non-believers. Always a pip. Almost done. Smell good, don't they?
Yeah.
I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
That vase.
I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
You're cuter than I thought. I see why she likes you.
Who?
So? What do you think? You think you're the One?
Okay, now I'm supposed to say, 'Hmmm, that's interesting but...' Then you say --
But what?
But you already know what I'm going to tell you.
I'm not the One.
Sorry, kid. You got the gift but looks like you're waiting for something.
What?
What's funny?
Morpheus. He almost had me convinced.
I know. Poor Morpheus. Without him we are lost. We will never find the One.
Morpheus believes in you, Neo and no one, not you or even me can convince him otherwise. He believes it so blindly that he's going to sacrifice his life to save yours.
What?
Hello, Neo.
How do you know that name?
I know a lot about you. I've been wanting to meet you for some time.
Who are you?
My name is Trinity.
Trinity? The Trinity? The Trinity that cracked the I.R.S. Kansas City D-Base?
That was a long time ago.
Gee-zus.
What?
I just thought... you were a guy.
Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
How did you do that?
Right now, all I can tell you, is that you are in danger. I brought you here to warn you.
Of what?
They're watching you, Neo.
Who is?
It's the question that brought you here. You know the question just as I did. It is a hacker's question.
What is the Matrix?
What the hell is this?!
It's necessary, Neo. For our protection.
From what?
Neo, please, you have to trust me.
Why?
And I know that's not where you want to be.
What is this thing?
Uh-oh...
Get this thing out of me!
E.M.P. An electromagnetic pulse.
God...
What?
What does that mean?
That the Matrix cannot tell you who you are.
But an Oracle can.
That's different.
Is it?
Are you worried?
Should I be?
Did you go to her?
Yes.
What did she tell you?
Are you all right?
What did you just say?
Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
What happened? What did you see?
A black cat went past us and then I saw another that looked just like it.
How much like it? Was it the same cat?
What is it?
Go!
We can't leave him!
Is Morpheus alive?
What happened?
Goddamnit! Goddamnit!
That I would have to make a choice...
What are you doing?
I'm going in after him.
You can't!
I have to.
Morpheus sacrificed himself so we could get you out! There's no way you're going back in!
Morpheus did what he did because he believed that I'm something I'm not.
What?
No, you... have to be.
I'm sorry, I'm not. I'm just another guy. Morpheus is the one that matters.
No, Neo. That's not true. It can't be true.
Why?
What?
What are you doing?
I'm coming with you.
No, you're not.
No one has ever done anything like this.
Neo, how did you do that?
Do what?
You moved like they moved. I've never seen anyone move that fast.
Are you all right?
Can you fly that thing.
Morning. Did you sleep?
No.
You don't have...
Any holes? Nope. Me and my brother Dozer, we are 100 percent pure, old- fashioned, home-grown human. Born free. Right here in the real world. Genuine child of Zion.
Zion?
If this war ended tomorrow, Zion is where the party would be.
It's a city?
The last human city. The only place we got left.
Where is it?
Holy shit!
Hey, Mikey, he likes it! Ready for more?
See who?
What are they doing to him?
They're hacking his mind.
How?
They inject virus-like serums to attack the neuro-systems. It's like cracking a computer. All it takes is time.
How much time?
When it does, Morpheus will tell them anything they want to know.
What do they want?
Goddamnit! I don't believe this is happening!
Neo, this has to be done!
Does it? I don't know. This can't be just coincidence. It can't be! Can it?
What are you talking about?
Neo, this is loco. They've got Morpheus in a military-controlled building. Even if you somehow got inside, those are agents holding him. Three of them! I want Morpheus back, too, but what you are talking about is suicide.
I know that's what it looks like, but it's not. I can't logically explain to you why it's not. Morpheus believed something and he was ready to give his life for what he believed. I understand that now. That's why I have to go.
Why?
Okay. Store's open. What do you need? Besides a miracle...
Operator.
Which way? Which way?
It's locked.
Operator.
Yes. They're moving him. I don't know where yet.
We need an exit!
You're not far from Cypher.
Cypher, I thought --
So did we. I sent him to Franklin and Erie.
Tank, you're hurt.
I'll be all right.
There is. We have to pull the plug.
You're going to kill him? Kill Morpheus?!
Operator.
Neo!
What the hell just happened?
An Agent! You have to send me back!
What just happened?
They've burned through the outer shields.
Isn't this Jack Groppi's place?
Yeah. But he ain't here now.
Know where he is?
No, really, I liked it...thought it was great.
What are your plans?
Well, we're here for about two weeks, then whatever else comes along... we're still working on our album and...
Great...great...listen, I'm very interested in you guys because I'll be opening a new club myself soon... uptown...and maybe we can work something out...
Sounds good.
It's obvious that the girl doesn't want to accompany you, isn't it?
Look fella...this is private...
Whether she wants to or not...she's not going.
We went down to Chinatown but they don't have any.
Well, I don't know if we want to buy all $40 worth...
No.
That means it's good.
No, all we got is $40.
Riverdale.
Sssh! Quiet. Y'know that's illegal.
Well the guy over there said...
Well, we got $40, and we wanna buy...
Well, we want good stuff.
Yeah.
And cherry bombs...ash cans...and rockets?
Yeah.
Ok, you guys get out, and wait here for me.
Why?
I gotta get the stuff.
Can't we come with you?
Hey hold it! Gimmie the cash.
Uh...can we give you a check?
Keep quiet about this. I don't have any license for him yet. I've only had him a couple of days. Nobody can feed him except me. I'm the only one he trusts. Watch.
Really wanted to get a little tiger Charlie, y'know...a little William Blake and all that...
See what I mean? A question please...'Is this what you call living?'
And I wouldn't call it TONY'S PLACE or CHARLIE'S PLACE... I'd call it something like SEASON OF THE WITCH... get it?
You are with out a doubt the biggest, most pretentious bullshit thrower I know. Like to see what kind of business you'd do.
No.
May God be with you.
'And with your spirit.'
'Art thou the King of the Jews'?
'My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world my followers would have fought that I might not be delivered to the Jews. But, as it is my kingdom is not from here.'
'Thou art then a king?'
Prophesy to us, oh Christ! Who is it that struck thee?
Who's the girl?
Jewish...
Look at her.
She don't look Jewish.
Get out of here before this really goes up.
Hide the gun. Throw it away. Anything. Listen, I gotta borrow your car...I think we should take a ride...away from here for the night...you know what I mean?
Where to?
Kennedy.
I know, I know, stupid. I mean where you goin'?
It's an open ticket. I can go anywhere up to $350.
So?
So I'll send you a postcard from wherever. If I get there.
Nervous?
Yeah.
You flew before?
Hey, come on...
Take it easy. I only asked because maybe I could, you know, let you have a little something.
Yeah, well thanks, but I got enough to hold me. My mother can send me some. I don't know.
How about Teresa? I could talk...
Listen, I appreciate it, but I'll handle it myself. I'll write.
And say what?
Listen, try a place with some sun. Swimming pools. Palm trees. Girls in little French bathing suits.
Panther...
Panther! Same thing...
Hey...no more good times like before. Until you come back.
Sure. And you're gonna take the vows next Tuesday, right.
Waddaya think?
Next time, bet with your own kind.
The number was 235 - I bet it combination.
It'll be OK - I know those guys. They won't stiff you.
You got some mouth!
Drinks for everybody Tony...
What happened to you Flash?
Charlie, I swear on my mother, you're not going to believe this.
I know but let's hear it anyway.
It's the truth, I swear.
Nah.
Yes, you're gettin' it all over my tie.
I don't think I should go home looking like this. You think I could stay at your place tonight? Your mother's not there is she?
You'd better make a move kid. He thinks you're trying to screw him.
Wouldn't bother me.
Yeah, big man...get yourself in more trouble. You make a fool out of him, you're doing the same to me. I signed for you don't forget.
You couldn't handle shit. You just better come through with some kind of payment on Tuesday...anything. Understand? Hold onto your pay- check this week.
There won't be any this week.
What do you mean?
Didn't show up.
You sick or what? You forget what we had to do to get you on the trucks, stupid?
I don't like loading crates.
You're not supposed to like it. What gets me is your attitude. Listen... tomorrow you show up.
What about your attitude...Where's your job...eh? You talk and talk and I go to work...what do you do?
I'll tell you what I don't do... I don't owe anybody 2,000 clams plus interest, stupid. Show up or I break both your arms, we understand each other?
Ok, ok...take it easy. I'll show. Tuesday I'll give Michael something. I promise.
Don't promise...just deliver.
I won't wait until Tuesday. I'll break your arms right now.
Hey...you got nothing here.
I could have told you that.
Don't come any closer!!!
Hey...don't do that...I'm only scaring them.
Let's get out of here.
I swear to God Charlie...my arm still hurts from the car accident...that's why I didn't go to work. I swear it.
That's not going to help.
I'm going to work this week...I mean it.
It's impossible for you to catch up on the loan now...the interest is going up...$3,000...do you realize that, flash?
I'm sorry Charlie...I didn't mean it.
Big deal...in the meantime, it's done...I'll still try to help you out...You know that...but you gotta show some effort...some respect... understand?
Charlie, you know the best way to take care of this whole mess.
How?
If you had a little talk with your uncle...if anybody can do it, he can.
I don't get involved with anything, you understand that? Nothing! I'm clean as far as you know...right?
Yeah, take it easy. Will you relax.
That's what I get for getting involved. Look, on pay-day at least show up at Tony's Place to meet him, ok? This way he doesn't think that you're trying to screw him. If you show good faith and save his face maybe we can talk and he'll take off the interest or make different payment arrangements or something... understand? I'm not asking I'm telling
Keep your mouth shut.
Shut up!
Your cousin here was getting sick, worrying about you. We've been in here calling...
Well kids...have the bans been announced yet?
Don't be smart.
Johnny, I swear to God, if you open your mouth about any of this...
You threaten me with my uncle? After what I'm doing for you?
Take it. I'm doing it for you, stupid!
Oh, cut it out, will ya?
Charlie, twenty-eight bucks is nothing. The only way to do it is through your uncle...think about it will you?
NO!!! What do you think I am, crazy???
No, I just want to help myself, that's all.
Don't you move!!!
Back so soon.
Hello, Michael. I've got something for you...not much...but...
I think we should see your uncle.
No.
This can't be settled any other way now...I'll take full blame.
What are you going to do? Hide me?
Hey...you're here. They told me you're here...and you're here. How are you?
Don't ask...do you have any idea what I've been doing all morning...eh?
No.
I was in the basement fixing the pipes. Would you believe that?
What pipes?
Look Charlie, you're a good boy. Will you just tell your uncle that I have nothing. There is nothing to give him. No envelopes with cash inside, no checks, nothing.
That bad, huh?
I can't make this week's payment and if this keeps up not next week's either.
Not next week's either...listen...you tell that to Giovanni, not me.
Listen, I should wrap up this place in a ribbon and hand it to him, you know that. I don't need this aggravation. I'm getting old.
Your Uncle's a good man...I won't stick him. Either he gets the money or the place and right now he's getting the place. And tell me why should I care? I got a partner who's a bum, who doesn't help out...who disappears and leaves me with all the problems. I should go back to Florida...I don't need this.
I don't understand, where's Groppi?
I should know? His wife don't even know. Probably off with one of his little girls...I don't know. I tell you, if he don't give a damn, then I don't give a damn...Why should I kill myself?
My uncle figured that this week was bad...but about next week...I dunno. Maybe you should speak to him yourself.
Oh great...hey - Winstons?
OK, ok...
No...I'll be ok for a week.
You seen Johnny Boy tonight?
Nope...
Isn't he supposed to be here tonight...I mean...
Look...I don't know. What am I supposed to be, his keeper or something? Yeah, he's supposed to be here but who knows what goes on in his head. Right?
...Charlie, don't you think you should be interested in Johnny's payments to me? I think you should be, you know that.
Michael, nobody's out to screw you, I guarrantee that.
I know that Charlie but look at my side. You undersigned the loans. You vouched for him. What happens if this kid don't pay me? I gotta collect from you? I don't want to do that. I made a deal with him not you, right?
I don't know that. That's what I'm telling you.
Michael, believe me. You know the kid's a little crazy sometimes. I vouched for him and he'll come through. I promise. I'll talk to him and straighten him out. Don't worry, OK?
Michael, give us a lift.
Hey, shut up.
Disgraceful.
Out!!!!
C'mon Johnny.
You getting out too?
Oh Michael, look...
Nevamind 'look'...This punk bastard...I call him at work...I say 'Johnny Boy there?'...He doesn't even show up for work anymore...
Look...I've talked to him and I've talked to him...what more can I do...? Tonight at the party all three of us get together and we knock some sense into his head...ok?
All right...but understand, I don't like being taken advantage of. I mean you're in there talking with your uncle and all...This is embarassing.
What's a'matter?
Nothin'. Just stiffed those kids. Don't want'em comin' back and findin' you...start asking you questions.
How much?
$20.
Well, he isn't. Nice...real nice.
You kiddin. The way it is now this isn't even interest for two hours.
How much was the original loan again?
$500. He borrowed that because he wanted to pay off his other loans... now, counting the interest...it's almost $3,000.
$3,000. Shit! Can we hold it at $3,000?
Charlie, this is business.
'But I say to you, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute...'
I'll tell you who you can pray for... Next payday, I'll be at Tony's Place...Johnny better show or I find him and break his legs...and I mean it.
He could at least show some respect and show his face, even if he doesn't have the money...
'Amen I say to thee, thou wilt not come out from it until thou hast paid the last penny.'
Be seeing you and Johnny tonight... here...right?
Look, Michael, I'll get him here. What do you want me to do, kill him?
Where's the rest?
You're really crazy.
Diane, how are you feeling?
You know Diane...I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now...er... a... aside from all that joking around we do out there...when you're on...I... a...I really...think that you're a terrific performer...
Fine.
No, I'm serious...You're really good.
I know.
In a little while...I'm gonna have the opportunity of opening my own place...not here...much nicer than this...uptown...sort of nite-club and restaurant and everything.
I was thinking maybe you'd do very nicely for the place.
Stripper?
No...no stripping...as the hostess.
Hostess?
Yeah, you know...you greet the people...see them to their tables... well...it'll be different though... Listen...why don't we get together and talk after your show tonight.
Chinese food?
Ok. Chinese. We'll meet on the corner of 6th Avenue and Waverly Place after you finish.
Why not here...Ok nevermind...6th Avenue and Waverly.
Uncle, how are you feeling?
Fine. Did you have a good time last night?
About that shooting last night...I was there and...
You're right uncle. I must have gotten it confused with something else.
About Oscar...I think he put on this act...about the restaurant being in bad shape and all that. He can't make the payments...I don't know what to make of it. He says Groppi's run off with a girl. I could help if you want.
Take a drink!
Hey, where you been?
Oh...around...why?
Who me? ...No, I don't know, not me...all I know is...
I really couldn't believe it when you told me, you know that?
Well, he was always a little crazy... he puts a gun in his mouth... ...like your friend...comme si chiama...Henning? Heming?
Hemmingway. Killed himself. I was more upset about that than about Groppi, that's for sure.
Oh yes, he's pretty good.
...but it's the same thing, all the same...they're in there by having something on somebody...and when that doesn't work...they fight...Our life has honor...we have no show to put on because we do what we have to do. They know where to come when they need us. I realize this during the war...World War II...Vito Genovese... during WWII he worked with the government, taking care
His whole family has problems...his cousin, the girl who lives next door to you...
Teresa.
No, she's got epilepsy.
Her mother and father come to me and ask advice...she wants to leave...get her own apartment...worries them sick...what am I gonna tell them? Lock her up?
What do they expect you to say?
Who knows? It's not hard to figure out what she'll wind up like. When the respect for parents breaks down, that's bad...you know I'm "cumpari" with them...so I take an interest. You live next door, keep an eye open...but don't get involved.
Well, maybe you missed something?
Wasn't a book...was a short story.
What was it?
Nothing.
No, c'mon...Y'know, I read.
"Francis Macomber."
Wha?
"Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber."
It's only a couple of courses...just for the draft.
Why don't you take a look around the place if you want?
I'd like to eat something before I go back to work.
Ok, we'll go for lunch.
Well...with the hotel that's ten... fifteen...
Please take it.
Well...
Sure...it's not that...I mean...
It's all right.
Well, if things go the way I hope they'll go, this money business will take care of itself. God willing.
An apartment uptown? Downtown?
Maybe, who knows.
Charlie...?
See if you can get your hands on some pamphlets on laws or by laws...or proprietorship...you know...at your place.
Anything specific?
You know...like restaurants, night clubs...
What is it now?
Alright... Hey, did you hear any more about what happened last night?
Did you?
No.
CHRIST, you should have seen it. Unbelievable. The kid would turn around and fire and he would just keep coming at him like Rasputin. That kid was scared. Not half as much as we were though.
It doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't shoot him just because he insulted a racket guy...not unless it was personal.
You missed the point. The kid's a climber...not very bright...but if you get down to his level to look at it his way; he kills a guy who insulted a big man - he gets a reputation. He thinks he's in good standing.
It's still sick.
C'mon Charlie...one more day. I'll call in sick for work.
No...we can come back in a couple of weeks. Besides, if we're both gone for three days it wouldn't look right.
Bore.
A paper on that one too?
Yeah...but don't worry about that now. The Hemmingway one is first.
It was nothing. I'm almost finished.
Take your time. I don't care.
I know you don't. You've been very preoccupied lately.
See that...know who lives there? The name George Earhardt mean anything to you?
Sure...He lives there?
That W.A.S.P. bastard.
You're intolerable today.
I'm going to take that apartment uptown.
You know why...with my parents.
Well you can't blame them in a way.
I can take care of myself. You know that.
...He must have heard the name from those T.V.'s in the hall that were blaring all the time. I remember GUEVARA was in town at the time. Must've heard it from there I guess...but that's funny, isn't it?
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.
I'm sleepy.
You've been running round too much. Bet you've been forgetting your medicine.
The building on the corner. That one! He's been on the roof a half hour now!
Teresa?...Yeah, Charlie. Listen, I'm looking for your cousin. Yeah, well today's Tuesday, payday. I haven't seen him all day...no...well, have you got any idea where he is? I know it's early yet but I'm just getting worried that's all...
Charlie...I've got to see you. I want to talk...
Honey, I can't talk now...I've gotta run, bye.
Are you sure he didn't say anything to you about tonight?
Lower the fuckin music--I can't hear nothin.
The girls like it loud.
What's the matter with this kid?
Don't count it...it's all there.
Count it.
and a double for you and Charlie here. And put it on my tab, willya?
Which one, the big tab or the little tab?
Put it on the little tab so that it balances with the big one.
Will you guys shut up with the witches and tigers. Tony, you gonna close the place, we get out of here, get something to eat, or what?
Scumbag--
Hey Johnny, where're you goin'?
Sal!... fourteen street.
Come on.
This is some boat. Your father's?
Hey... you got stereo.
Ah...there's a funny lookin' cab behind us.
I know...I know.
What'sa matter...forget your registration?
No...no. Nooo...it's just that I...I...uh... this ain't my car.
Yeah, it's your father's.
Well...no.
You mean it's heisted.
You could say that.
How about me? I don't get a drink John?
I know what you're going to say but don't say it. These drinks are all on the tab. I'm gonna see you this Tuesday payday, I promise. I give you my word.
Just keep him quiet.
Friends of yours Michael.
Must have been all the liquor in him.
How much?
Not bad. $20. Here, $5.
Can you spare it?
Sure.
Yeah.
I'm Allison, you're 'honey'.
Hi, everybody. Sorry to be late -- had to have dinner with my depart- ment chief --
You ate?
That's your name?
...We're never all together two nights in a row. Maybe Christmas, Thanksgiving, that's it. What's going on?
Nothing's going on. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone. He's go- ing to be sixty-five in a minute --
-- But he does seem very nice.
Look who's talking.
Dinner? Again?
Did you speak to the Governor?
He's coming.
His wife?
Daddy! Come on, a name.
Just plain 'Joe'?
That was 'Joe'.
He's cute.
Did he? That's more than we get to do.
Daddy!
Hi, Allison --
Have you got a minute?
Not much more. Big day in the big city. What's on your mind?
Fireworks. Update -- we're con- structing the number '65' on the barge, archers from the State College at New Paltz will shoot flaming arrows at it, when it catches fire it will give us the effect of a Viking funeral with none of the morbidity... The Hudson River Authority says, for you, they'll make a special dispensation - of course there'll be an overtime
Allison, I trust you. This is your thing.
I hate parties --
Calm down, Daddy, you'll see, you're going to love it.
Isn't it enough to be on this earth sixty-five years without having to be reminded of it.
What, honey?
I lay awake nights in a cold sweat, I want this party to be like some- thing Mom would have made for you, I want it to be perfect --
I know you do, darling.
And you could care less --
Oh, you couldn't be more wrong, sweetheart. I can' tell you how much I appreciate it and how I'm looking forward to it.
Daddy. Does your friend have a name?
-- Black.
Now, I'm getting interested. I want to know more ---
Did you know twenty-six members of your rifle company are coming?
Who?
From the Korean War.
Conflict, honey. Korean Conflict.
Whatever it was, they'll be here. We sent out invitations to everyone, plane tickets included -- the RSVP's are amazing. A few of them we didn't hear from, and some of them are dead, of course --
Of course.
You know, we're going to give this party for you whether you like it or not.
I like it. I like it. I'm sorry I don't seem more appreciative.
What is this?
Annie made them.
Who's Annie?
From La Rosette, only the greatest pastry chef in America. This is orange, from real Seville oranges. Lemon, on a mille-feuille crust, a little on the fanciful. And a while, nothing like a good old white cake, vanilla, with Angel food but some maroons shavings thrown in.
I don't like cake.
It's for the party, Dad --
Oh, the goddam party --
Hi, Daddy, what do you think?
It's starting to grow on me. But what do the 'B' and 'P' mean?
The fountain is the Caspian Sea and the Sea is serving up caviar. The 'B's for Beluga, the 'P' for Petrossian. Of course, they also stand for 'Bill' and for 'Parrish'.
Do they, m'dear?
I do it because I love you. Because everybody I loved you. Mommy -- wher- ever she is -- Susan, Quince, the people who work for you, everybody who's ever known you.
Yeah? And what about my enemies?
I haven't been the father to you that --
That you've been to Susan?
I wasn't going to say --
You know, darling, this is going to be a wonderful party.
Honey, please.
Okay. All aboard - New York, New York!
What about the Mayor?
Please don't be negative, Drew, we have an acceptance list that would do The White House proud -- The Secretary-General of the UN, the Chairman of the FCC, nine Senators, I don't know how many Congressmen, and at least twelve of the Fortune '500'.
Paillarde of veal.
Yeah, they hit the calf over the head with a mallet and then Luisa hits it again in the kitchen.
Honey --!
Yeah, but --
But what?
...This shit's not bad.
-- The late harvest Riesling, Mr. Quince, a possibility for dessert.
And that?
What do you do that for?
Well sir, it's 9:30 in the morning.
I'm afraid this is a wine bar, Mr. Quince.
Okay, give me a bottle of wine.
Red or white?
Bill, thanks for coming over... And how're you doing today, Drew? You've got a firecracker here, the kid's really set the table.
Good, good. Glad to hear it.
We've met before, y'know, that White House function, the President had you on his right and you know where I was?
I'm sorry, I don't recall --
Left field somewhere. Well, Bill, I want to come in from the outfield, bat cleanup like you have, learn the plush ropes --
I thought you were buying my company.
Yes, sir?
Hello. I'm Joe Black. Nice to meet you.
What are you eating.
'Laura Scudder's Peanut Butter'. You like it?
I would prefer some peanut butter.
How would you like that, sir? On some kind of toast?
Toast? No...just the butter.
Hello, Beautiful.
-- Did I hear 'business'?
...See you tomorrow night.
Include me out. I've had enough of the conversations.
You don't mean that. You wouldn't disappoint Daddy --
Daddy'll do fine. Besides, he's got Joe. And so do you.
Drew, you're out of line.
That may be. But I don't like the fucker. I don't like the way he looks at you and talks to you. And vice versa.
Sorry, but I like the way he looks and talks to me. And vice versa. Okay?
Well... goodnight.
Oh, you're the great Joe's attorney now? Are we going to go to court? Or are we going to go to bed? And I don't mean you and me. I mean you and him.
That's it. It's over. Get out.
And what would that be?
Bill's birthday is the day after tomorrow. There is a provisory by- law in our charter. Per the discre- tion of the Board, Corporate off- icers can be retired at age sixty- five.
You're taking this too far, Drew.
Thank you for coming.
We're not getting anywhere here. Why don't we take some of the best out of this thing, let's consider it coolly, let's take a week --
Bontecou wants a speedier response than that.
We have an arrangement now.
What side of the industry did you say you were on?
I didn't say.
Incidentally, Joe, where're you staying?
Here...
Nice to see you. I didn't expect you, but certainly you can't get enough of a good thing.
Thank you.
The Board of Parrish Communications - is hereby called to order. Our sole order of business is an acceptance of John Bontecou's generous offer and --
Anything else, Mr. Black? How about some water?
Why yes, thank you.
Hot or cold.
Cold.
Yes.
Yes.
What an odd pairing.
It's just a saying, Mr. Black,
Of whom?
It doesn't matter.
May I interrupting?
No.
Who are we talking about?
But I know she's grateful for the care you're giving her.
Is this a state secret or are we being excluded just for the fun of it?
Perhaps you could remind me.
No, I don't --
So tell me, tell me, I'm peeing in my pants.
I'm not stepping anywhere --
I appreciate your gentlemanliness, Bill, but what we need to do here is drive the dagger home --
Good morning, Drew. Thanks for coming out.
Well, it's a big day. Wanted to line up a few ducks before kickoff. Any thoughts? Last minute refine- ments or variations?
'Thoughts'? Not a one -- but I did hear a voice last night.
A voice?
In my sleep.
What'd it say?
'Yes'.
'Yes' to the deal?
I was saying to Quince we won't need --
Did you just hear something?
Why yes, Bill, I was saying to Quince --
...Tomorrow we sign off -- photo opportunity, you and Big John, it'll lead network news. Okay so far?
Sounds good.
It's going to be great --
Do you think I need a haircut?
Our first annual report, must be thirty-five years ago now, I owned two stations, I wrote down a state- ment of purpose, that one day you would wake up to a Parrish radio station, read a Parrish paper at breakfast, catch our news on tele- vision during the day, and go to bed with one of our books or magazines and you would always
I'm all excited --
Me, too.
I thought it was great, I thought you and Big John would be like a couple of bulls in a china shop -- Instead it was --
Like a marriage made in heaven?
So... Board convenes tomorrow, you'll recommend, we close and it's a deal, right?
As close as a deal could be.
Yeah, something he goes by --
Sorry...um - you - you know it's gone right out of my head --
'Joe...'
Yes.
Is there any more to it?
What do you mean?
Have we met?
No --
...Sounds like you're not leaving much room for discussion.
Sorry. I know it looks like I'm reversing my field.
You're not familiar with the phrase, "In this world, nothing is certain but Death and Taxes"?
I am now.
Shall we adjourn?
No.
'Just kidding'?
Sit down, Drew.
Before I do -- I was hoping we might be alone, Bill.
Joe and I have no secrets from each other.
Why?
Joe, cut it out. And you too, Drew.
I thought this was practically a done deal --
I was a little abrupt with you this afternoon, Drew. Forgive me. I want you to know I value your advice.
You're competitive soul, Drew. That's what makes you a great addi- tion to the money. Joe is just... around.
For how long? And why?
Mind if I throw up?
I have to go, Bill -- it's been a helluva day. Need a few minutes to sort everything out.
Okay, we'll see you tomorrow.
What is there to say? They know what John Bontecou is -- and if they didn't, they know now.
Yes, you made your feeling abun- dantly clear. Now they want to do the same with theirs.
What are their feelings?
If I read this Board right now, they want you to accept Bontecou's offer.
What do you think the Board is going to say when I tell them that?
I don't care.
Whose?
Yours.
I'm feeling real uncomfortable right now because the guy who reports to me is threatening me.
I think it's time you went home, Drew.
Did you want to have a cup of coffee or something, Bill?
That's it?
Bontecou wants a quick response and --
The answer is no, quick enough for you?
Don't you want to hear the details?
I'm not interested in the details. And I'm not interested in the big picture either. What I am inter- ersted in is how my Board got conven- ed behind my back, is entertaining a further proposal from a man whom it offends me to do business with, moreover has the audacity to present this to me like a prize fish, and I am expected
So I am to understand from your re- sponse that you do not want to hear the details of Bontecou's offer?
Yes, you are to understand that, and now may I ask you a question?
Certainly, Bill.
I've already introduced Mr. Black to you all.
In English, please.
I don't know where you get that idea -- the Board agreed --
The Board didn't know you're a mole who burrowed inside so you could bury us all.
I think I'd like to talk to my lawyer --
And what do I get?
You get not to go to jail.
You're talking through your hat. You're offering a deal because you've got no proof.
Hey, this is it, the hour approach- es, I'm getting all excited. So what do you think, is it -- -- just the 'Executive Committee' or could you guys use me?
Quince, m'man, thanks for the offer, but it's all set for just me and Bill. More people might --
You're overthinking it --
Well, I guess he's found one.
...I know you're down, but you know when you're down, Drew, there's no place to go but up.
Thanks, Quince.
Never mind Bontecou. I've got some other merger possibilities up my sleeve, and I'm putting them to see old man.
Are you?
We'll do it together. I'll clue you in. Timing's got to be right. The old man says it's up to Joe.
'It's up to Joe'? Those were his words?
Yeah.
'It's up to Joe', huh?
Yeah, that's what he said.
I thought so, too. Joe's a neat guy.
I'd like to come, too. See Susan strut her stuff.
Well, I'm happy to tell you I've got good news. As I was telling Drew, I've been making a little hay while the Bontecou sun was shining -- two, possibly three new and boiling hot prospects for merger.
How did Bill react to the leads you've developed?
He was interested.
-- But he was concerned about the timing?
The timing -- yes. He says it's up to Joe.
'It's up to Joe'?
What have you done? You've gotten the old man fired!
I'm going to put a stop to this!
Quince, you can't unscramble scrambled eggs.
But I didn't mean to do it!
I don't want to get rich this way -- I'm going to expose you.
This is damn big of Bill, I also think it's smart.
He had no choice. You're a formidable adversary.
He said that?
Well, you've got him by the short- hairs.
Obeah.
Obeah evil. I not evil.
What you then?
I from dat nex' place.
You wait here'n to take us? Like you bus driver to dere?
No, no. I on holiday.
I nuttin' to do wi' dat.
Make it go 'way.
Doctor lady make it irey.
Not dis pain. Dis pain tru an' tru. Make it go 'way.
Can't, sistah.
Not time yet.
Don' be facety, woman.
None facety, mistah. You come for me? Dat's good news.
No, I come to see Doctor.
Doctor? What could be wrong wit' you?
Oh, you come to see Doctor Lady?
Yes.
My Doctor Lady?
Yah.
You loved back?
I am.
She knows you real self?
She knows how she feel.
Rass!
Don' need you okayin'.
Schoolboy tings is you head. Badness for you, badness for her, badness for me, lyin' here tumor, big as breadfruit, poison my inners an' waiting.
Brung you flowers and all I gettin's facety back.
Only flowers I wan' see's one's over my peaceful self restin' in the dutty.
Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
I've been buzzing you, Mr. Parrish. Are you all right?
Sure.
Lunch is 'in' today, have you given it any thought --_
No. Nothing.
-- And call my family, I'd like them to come over for dinner tonight.
Didn't the family get together last night --?
Jennifer.
Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
Good morning, Jennifer.
The Board is waiting.
What?
'Joe Black'. Won fifteen and lost two for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1952.
Yes?
You bet. I'm king of my Rotisserie League.
How long you here, Joe?
Black.
Don't bother asking, we already tried.
That's very gracious of you, Quince.
Cirrhosis of the liver is the fifth leading killer of adult Western males.
I didn't know that.
You're an original, Joe. A little hard to figure, maybe...
And you're a nice man, Quince.
Thanks.
C'mon, have a drink. You look like you need one bad as me.
Do I? I'm a little confused.
Confused, huh? About what?
Love.
'Love'? Oh, man, I've got troubles of my own.
You love Allison, don't you?
Oh yes, I do.
How did you meet?
I was a world-class loser and she was a happy, little rich girl -- and for some reason she took me in.
Because there's nothing we don't know about each other and it's okay. I mean the deeper, darkest secrets -- they don't matter.
'The deepest, darkest secrets --'?
Yeah, it's like you know every inch of each other's souls -- and then you're free.
What do you mean 'free'?
Oh yes, you are one of my favorites.
You think so? How do you know?
Do you think I should wait to tell him 'till after the party?
What are you doing here?
I'm lost.
-- Can't seem to escape you today.
'Big'?
You appear at his side out-of-the- blue, stay at his house, eat dinner with his family, it's practically a first. You're in the red-hot center of big business and I thought you were a regular Joe.
I am Joe.
Not the one I met this morning, hit- ting on me in as nice a way as I've been hit on in a long time, but the moment you find out I'm my Dad's daughter, you act like a stranger.
What are your intentions? To make little dreams in coffee shops, turn a woman's head, and I don't mind admitting it was turned, I liked it, but ten hours later I feel like a fool. I don't get it. You, my father, here in this house, the cof- fee shop, it's making me upset, and I don't like being upset. Who are you anyway?
You act like you never had peanut butter before --
I haven't.
-- What kind of childhood did you have?
Do you love Drew?
Come again?
When you put your mouth to his, Susan, it seems a frequent thing.
Drew is none of your damn business. Nor is where I put my mouth.
I'm sorry. Do you live here?
No, Joe, I'm swimming here. Then I'm going home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is -- I'd like us to be friends.
I've got plenty of friends.
I don't have any.
Yes --?
I have a certain function to per- form, and that seems to take all of my time. Bu sometimes - uh - I speculate - uh - I haven't left room for - uh - anything else.
Susan?
Yes?
Goodnight, Joe.
Yes?
Joe --
Oh goodness, no.
Then why are you here, Joe?
I came to see you.
I don't have any time to see you now. I'm doing grand rounds and then I'm examining back-to-back patients until dinner and then --
Very well, I'll watch.
Watch me do what?
Whatever you do.
That's impossible. I'm a doctor, I'm --
And I'll be a visitor.
Patients have visitors, not doctors.
She's in a great deal of pain.
Joe, I'm with Drew.
I have to go, I'm sorry to say --
I wanted to apologize, Susan --
I thought you said 'Be sorry for nothing'.
Well, now I am sorry. For intruding on you this afternoon.
It wasn't an intrusion. And if it was, it turned out to be welcome.
I appreciate you --
Excuse me?
I mean I appreciate that.
Why do you love peanut butter so much?
I don't know.
Yes...
It comforts you, doesn't it?
I'm very concerned about the woman you attended to today.
I am, too.
Has her pain abated?
We're doing what we can for her. But it doesn't look good.
How long have you been standing there?
Why?
No, I'm not.
Girlfriend?
No.
Gay?
Where are you going?
To bed.
'To bed'?
You first.
Almost.
I'm sorry about --
I love your smell.
Thank you.
-- Could you?
Never tried, 'til now. Joe, may I kiss you?
Yes?
I don't know who you are.
Well...I'm -- uh, Joe. And you're Susan. And I - uh - have this weak feeling in my knees --
And is your heart beating strangely?
You're here?
I just thought I'd drop by, scrounge a little lunch, I was in the neigh- borhood --
He's taking a nap.
He must be tired -- this Bontecou thing --
...No.
Did you like making love to me?
I loved it.
More than you love peanut butter?
Where are you going?
Nowhere? I'm...here.
For how long?
I like you in a black tie.
I love you in an evening gown.
Yes. Your father and I, our time together has come to an end.
Well -- I --
I can tell you the when part. Tonight.
It gets worse.
No worse than it gets for me. I'm in love with a woman whom I don't want to leave.
We know so little about each other --
We know all that we need to know --
But there's so much to tell you --
Don't. That will come later.
Will it?
What will we do?
'Love will find out the way'.
'Love will find out the way'?
It's a saying.
I believe that, don't you?
Did I say that?
The 'coffee shop' --
I - uh --
I'm still here.
Tell me you love me -- tell me you love me now --
I love you now, I'll love you always --
Susan --
-- Yes?
That's it?
Well, I don't know what else to say. It's a helluva party --
You think so?
No --
Joe, that's the kitchen.
...I'm sorry, I'm a little discon- certed, that stuff between you and Susan -- uh -- threw me.
'Threw' you? Where?
Shook me up. I mean that you knew her and everything --
I didn't know her. The body I took knew her. The man she met in the coffee shop this morning. I - uh - took him.
So there's nothing between you and Susan?
No.
I wish you had said something to me about staying here --
What a good idea.
Thank you. Would you like the man's name?
If there is anything else, don't hesitate --
I won't.
How long have I got?
When you go, I go.
That's the best I can do. ...but minute-by-minute, I find myself lingering.
...I just saw my doctor, he told me everything was fine.
Your doctor? Did your doctor say anything about a tiny, undetectable hole in your aorta? Did he mention an irreparab- ly weak vein in the further reaches of your famous brain? Were there any prognostications about the possibil- ilites of a fatal collision on a golf cart or suffocating in an avalanche on a ski vacation in Gstaad?
No --
I hope you realize, Bill...in your office this morning, that was your time.
Well, thank you for letting me know.
Not at all.
And - uh - I guess, 'goodnight'.
Good morning.
Good morning, Bill.
How are you? How're you feeling?
'Feeling'? I feel fine. How do you feel?
Um -- well, I didn't sleep too well. This is crazy. This is the left- field thing of all time. What do I do? What do I tell my family?
And what?
And I won't tell anyone who you are.
Sounds fair enough.
It is a deal?
A 'deal'?
Bill --
Yes?
When you were shaving this morning, you weren't just shaving, right?
What do you mean?
You were hatching ideas, making plans, arriving at decisions, right?
I guess so.
So you understand the concept then. When you're busy here, your work, what your task is, is being executed elsewhere.
Of course.
Joe --?
Yes, Bill.
How about giving a guy a break?
Make an exception?
There's one to every rule.
-- I don't deserve this. I'm still young, this is not my time --
That's what everybody says.
I'm not everybody.
I want to live.
What's it like?
What do you mean?
What's it like where I'm going?
Can you keep a secret?
Yes.
Perhaps you would like to wait in my office --?
No.
What I'm trying to say is this is a Board meeting and you are not a mem- ber of the Board.
Would you like to sit down, Joe?
-- What's the deal here? Are you going to be breathing down my neck right 'til the very end?
...I'd like to be alone for a while.
Are you sad, Bill?
Yes, I am. There's a research lib- rary on the fourth floor. Why don't you go down and read some magazines?
You're not thinking of going some- where, are you, Bill?
Joe, could I ask you to take a walk? Buy a tie or something. I know I'll be seeing you.
Now I'd like to be alone.
Jennifer, give Mr. Black a map of the city.
Are you going to eat your lunch
Excellent. What is it?
Truly - uh - splendid.
Glad you like it. My wife turned me onto cold lamb sandwiches. Joan -- that was my wife --
Uh-huh.
And more.
Why didn't you stop me?
I thought you'd heard a trillion times --
Dinner? Absolutely.
Why, at this juncture, are you letting yourself be so concerned by business matters?
I don't want anybody buying up my life's work and turning it into something it wasn't meant to be. A man wants to leave something behind. And he wants it left behind the way he made it. And he wants it to be run the way he run it -- with a sense of honor, of dedication, of truth. Okay?
Okay.
And I don't need your goddamn permis- sion either! You! Drew! I don't need anyone to tell me how to run my life.
Why did you go to the hospital?
I don't know.
You were just curious?
I guess...
About Susan?
I wouldn't put it that way.
What way would you put it?
You tell me, Bill.
How about you telling me? When I ask a simple question, I expect a straight answer. That's what I'm used to. Anybody who doesn't give it to me, I fire.
Hello, Bill.
Hello. Would you like to join me, Quince and Allison for a nightcap?
Okay. Goodnight.
I'm sorry, Bill --
That's okay.
What's okay?
What 'okay' is, it's 'okay' it's over. We've got bigger fish to fry, don't we, Joe?
'Fish'?
I'm not hungry.
I couldn't sleep.
Yes, I saw you see me.
Well, you're at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong woman.
I'll be the judge of that.
I'm her father!
With all due respect, Bill, I'm not asking your permission.
Well, you goddam well should. You walk into my life, give me the worst news a guy can get, have me dancing on the heads of pins with my busi- ness and with my family, and now you're spooning with my daughter.
'Spooning'?
Yes, and stop repeating everything I say, and turning it into a question. Spooning, fooling around, God knows what. You arrive on the scene -- why you picked me, I still don't under- stand --
You're violating the laws of the universe.
This universe?
Any universe that exists or ever existed. You may be the pro, Joe. But I know who you are. And you're all fucked up.
I don't like your tone, and I don't like your references.
And I don't give a shit.
May I remind you this is not just a dispute with a putative suitor, this is me. So watch it...Bill.
Cut the 'Bill' crap out -- you sonofabitch.
Uh --
Yes?
-- I have the feeling that, all in all, what I made this voyage for -- has served its purpose.
You are?
Yeah.
Thanks.
What the hell do you care?
I was just asking, Bill.
-- And I'm in love with your daughter.
Say again?
You're what?
I think you heard me, Bill.
I'm sorry, Bill --
Susan is my daughter, she has a wonderful life ahead of her and you're going to deprive her of it and you're telling me you're sorry? Well, I'm sorry, apology not accepted.
I love her, Bill. She is all that I ever wanted, and I've never wanted for anything because I've never wanted anything before, if you can understand.
How perfect for you -- to take whatever you want because it pleases you. It's not love --
Then what is it?
Some aimless infatuation in which, for the moment, you feel like in- dulging. It's missing everything that matters.
Which is what?
Trust, responsibility, taking the weight, for your choices and feel- ings and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.
So that's what love is?
Multiply it by infinity and take it to the death of forever and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I am talking about.
Those were my words, Bill.
Susan wants to come. She says she's in love with me.
With you?! Who is 'you'? Did you tell her who you are?
No.
I don't like what you're saying.
I don't expect you to.
Are you threatening me?
Okay.
Joe, don't do this --
It's time to put this person where he belongs.
I told you to shut up.
Prepare yourself, Drew - I am --
He is --
I'll take it from here -- I am --
The Treasury Department asked my cooperation in his undercover investigation of John Bontecou. They were convinced that Bontecou, on past deals, had structured his mergers and acquisitions in sus- picious and complicated ways so as to evade paying the taxes he is liable for. The IRS wanted to go after him, and this deal offered them the opportunity. I agreed to cooperate.
And we're very grateful.
Moreover, Agent Joe Black here -- of course that's not his real name -- smelled out your involvement, Drew. He developed evidence you were working both sides of the fence. Unfortunately, that's known as a conflict of interest --
Undisclosed conflict of interest --
An offense --
Happy Birthday, Bill.
Not exactly.
I guess you have your reasons.
Yes.
Am I dreaming this? Are you a dream?
I am not a dream.
You are --?
Yes.
Death!
That's me.
You're not Death. You're just a kid in a jacket and a pair of pants.
You want me to be your guide --?
You fill the bill, Bill.
I do? How long will you be staying?
You should hope quite a while.
This is crazy -- you're not going to eat dinner with us.
Excuse me? Could I say something?
Of course.
It just occurred to me --
Speak up, please.
When I introduce you, if I say who you are, I don't think anyone will stay for dinner.
'...I know, it's none of my business.'
'Yes' what?
'Yes' is the answer to your question.
I didn't ask any question.
I think you know --
I don't!
What are you talking about?
Are you giving me orders?
I'm sorry, I --
Where are you? Are you there?
It's enough now.
Please. Talk to me --
There's going to be plenty of time for that.
What do you mean?!
I think you know --
Where are you?
What is this, a joke, right? Some kind of elaborate practical joke? At my 40th reunion, we delivered a casket to the Class president's hotel room and --
The great Bill Parrish at a loss for words? The man from whose lips fall 'rapture' and 'passion' and 'obses- sion'...all those admonitions about being 'deliberately happy', what there is no sense 'living your life without...', all the sparks and energy you give off, the rosy advice you dispense in round, pear-shaped tones --
What the hell is this? Who are you?
About what?
I want to have a look around before I take you.
'Take me'...? Where?
It requires competence, wisdom, experience -- all those things they say about you in testimonials -- and you're the one.
'The one' to do what?
Show me around. Be my guide. And in return, you get...
Get what?
Time.
What the hell are you talking about?
Watch it!
I'm sorry --
Yes what?
'Yes' is the answer to your ques- tion.
What question?
Bill. Come on. The question. The question you've been asking yourself with increased regularity, at odd moments, panting through the extra game of handball, when you ran for the plane in Delhi, when you sat up in bed last night and hit the floor in the office this morning. The question that is in the back of your throat, choking the blood to your
The 'question' --
Hi, Bill --
Good morning, Quince.
How're you doing--?
I'm doing great. You ready?
I am, this is it. B Day.
How's that, Quince?
...I read you all the way on the Bontecou thing, and I know where you're coming from. And I'm with you a hundred and one percent.
Thank you, Quince.
But I've got to tell you, if mergers are in the wild, I've got some great prospects I've developed. I want to talk to you about them next week.
Next week?
No, anything is possible. It's up to Joe.
This is great, honey. The orange. Has it got a little vodka in it? Like that Finnish stuff, orange vodka -- Put your lips around this one, Bill. It's out of this world.
But he does give a shit. Don't you, Bill?
Yeah, I give a shit.
This one.
...what can I say after I say that I'm sorry? I zipped when I should've zagged, I opened my big mouth one too many times, everything got all twisted --
Come in, Joe -- I want to thank you -- okay, Bill?
Joe knew the whole story. I told him. It was his idea that I come clean. I mean I wanted to come clean but he gave me a pair of balls, you know what I mean?
All in all, what Bill wants to do is build the golden bridge to Drew with no hard feelings.
You think Drew will go for it?
Quince, I've got confidence in you.
Why don't we let it rest for the moment? Give it some air?
...It's not over, 'til it's over.
Please, Eddie, no 'Fat Lady Sings" shit.
I still sense some doubt in this group, we could turn it around. You'll be up in the country?
Yes, the big 'celebration' of my mandatory retirement birthday. You're an honored guest, Eddie.
Eddie?
Yeah - Bill - How are you? You okay?
Fine, fine. Big doing up here. Why are you still down here?
The Board's working through the weekend, tying up the loose ends on this damn thing. But I want to give it one more try, I'm still holding out some hope.
Eddie, hold out all the hope you want but, I promise you, it's hope- less, it's over. Come on up, let's get drunk, if I had your shoulder to lean on I might actually enjoy this --
No, I'm going to stay down here, keep my finger in the dike and maybe by Monday, the waters could recede.
If you're trying to show me lay- down-in-front-of-the-bus loyalty, forget it.
Sorry, Bill, have a drink, eat your cake, blow out the candles and make a wish. Talk to you Monday. Okay?
We're all here, Bill --
I appreciate this, Eddie, members of the Board, this will just take a minute of your time. As the custo- dians of the company, you may re- ceive information from what follows that is valuable to you -- -- or not. Either way, thanks.
Well, thank you, that's great, but it's more than I bargained for. I just wanted to set the record straight.
Good morning, Dad.
Drew's aboard?
Will you relax? I know it is a big deal day --
How did you know?
Drew told me.
Does Drew tell you everything?
I hope so.
You like him, don't you?
I don't like to interfere.
Not my birthday again?
You're only six-five once.
I thought you were in a meeting--?
...There's a start for a meeting.
Do you love Drew?
You mean like you loved Mom?
Forget about me and Mom -- are you going to marry him?
Don't get carried away.
Uh oh --
Susan, you're a hell of a woman. You've got a great career, you're beautiful --
And I'm your daughter and no man will ever be good enough for me.
Well, I wasn't going to say that --
What were you going to say?
Listen, I'm crazy about the guy -- He's smart, he's aggressive, he could carry Parrish Communications into the 21st century and me along with it.
So what's wrong with that?
That's for me. I'm talking about you. It's not so much what you say about Drew, it's what you don't say.
You're not listening --
Oh yes, I am. Not an ounce of excitement, not a whisper of a thrill, this relationship has all the passion of a pair of titmice.
Don't get dirty, Dad --
Well, it worries me. I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.
That's all?
Be deliriously happy. Or at least leave yourself open to be.
I know it's a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your
Bravo.
Aw, you're tough.
I'm sorry. But give it to me again. The short version.
I won't. And when I tell Drew about it, he won't either.
You won't tell him, and even if you did, he'd clock it and punch it into his laptop in order to pull out some key phrases when he gives the Commencement Speech at Wharton.
You're terrible.
Thank God.
Daddy, what's the matter?
What is it, Daddy --?
Are you okay?
A-Okay. Got my gloves on, my ears pricked. I'm ready for action.
Well, go get 'em, Pops.
You know each other?
We've met.
What?!
Uh - will that hold you, Joe?
Funny, I don't get that feeling. Maybe it's because you found out I'm Bill Parrish's daughter.
It'll come back, Daddy.
That was wonderful.
Yeah, it's good to get together.
Do you mind if I raise a little caution flag?
Raise away.
What is the nature of your interest in Joe?
I won't say you may be getting onto shaken ground --
Then what will you say?
I don't think this is the lightning you are looking for. Drew's a good man. I know I didn't seem to be completely in his corner before, but I've come to appreciate --
Now we love Drew and Joe in verbo- ten? What's going on?
Nothing.
When you say 'nothing' that way, it's not nothing.
Then what is it?
Where's Joe?
Where is he?
Because I was sitting in a staff meeting, incredibly bored, my mind kept wandering and the only place it landed was -- Joe.
I don't understand.
This is crazy --
Why? A man appears at your side, almost never leaves it, you clearly trust him, depend on him, I sense you value him deeply, why aren't those things good enough for me?
You don't know anything about Joe --
Susan, I don't think Joe is going to be with us long.
Where's he going?
I don't know, I can't say --
C'mon! The guy's working with you. You always know chapter and verse about everyone who works --
I love him.
What a night.
You were right about Joe, he is going somewhere --
Are you relieved?
But what?
I want you to know how much I love you. That you've given a meaning to my life that I had no right to expect, and that no one can ever take from me.
Daddy --
I love you, Daddy --
I'm still here. Would you like to dance with me, Susan?
If you don't mind dancing with an old fogey like me.
What was that?
Good morning, I was talking kind of loud there, sorry.
Not at all. It was fascinating.
Oh yeah? What was 'fascinating' about it?
You and 'Honey'?
My kid sister. She just broke up with her boyfriend and she's thinking about dropping out of law school.
I'm sorry --
Nothing to be sorry about. That's the way with men and women, isn't it?
What's the way?
Nothing lasts.
I agree --
Why?
I was just being agreeable, now I've got to explain why?
I'm not trying to sharpshoot you, but that 'nothing lasts' stuff, that's what was the trouble with Honey's guy. He was fooling around and Honey caught him at it. One girlfriend wasn't enough for him.
So you're a one-girl guy?
How'd you know?
Everybody's a doctor around here. This apartment house is all green pajamas and slippers. The guy I'm waiting for to vacate is a doctor. What kind of doctor?
So if I needed a doctor, you could be it?
I could be her.
Yes, I could. I have an office in the hospital.
Not at all.
How 'bout another cup of coffee?
I've got patients coming in --
...It's kind of a pro bono job.
'Pro bono'. That means doing good -- Going to be doing good all your life?
I know what you're saying. Doesn't pay very well. Depends on the woman I marry. Maybe she'd like a bigger house, a better car, lotsa kids, college doesn't come cheap --
You'd give up what you want for the woman you marry?
You'll have a hard time finding a woman like that these days --
I've got to go --
Did I say something wrong?
No, it was so right it scares me.
I've been thinking... I don't want you to be my doctor. Because I don't want you to examine me.
Why?
Sure, I'll give you the name of a doctor. ...And I don't want to examine you.
Why not?
You said you liked me.
No --
...We know so little about each other.
21.
38.
39.
78.
79.
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99 85.
You read it off your fucking photo. You don't know me, you don't even know who you are.
30.
47.
66.
69.
Well, what then?
Slam it?
Just loud enough to wake me up.
That's it?
Should I wear it?
No. Just leave the stuff lying around as if it were yours. Like you just took it off or something.
Hiya.
I'm Mr. Shelby from 304.
What can I do for you, Leonard?
I'm sorry... um... ?
Burt.
You don't know?
I think I may have. I'm not good on the phone.
You said you like to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Don't you remember?
That's the thing. I have this condition.
Condition?
I have no memory.
Amnesia?
My wife.
What's it like?
Like waking. Like you always just woke up. *
How long have I been here?
Couple days.
So you're holding my calls?
What makes you think he's my friend?
Seen you together, that's all.
I'm sorry, I think I'm checked in here, But I've misplaced my key.
Shit. Wrong room.
This isn't your room. You're in 304. I Fucked up.
This isn't my room?
No, let's go.
This was your room. You're up in 304 now.
When was I in here?
Last week. Then I rented you another one On top of this.
Why?
Business is slow. I told my boss about You, about your condition. He told me to Try and rent you another room.
Why didn't you clean it out? *
So how many rooms am I checked into in this dump?
Well, at least you're being honest about cheating me.
Yeah, well you're not gonna remember, anyway.
You don't have to be that honest, Burt.
I'm sorry, I think I'm checked in here, but I've misplaced my key.
Leonard, it's Burt from the front desk.
I know you said you didn't want any calls...
That's right I did, didn't I?
Yeah, but there's a call for you from this guy. He's a cop.
A cop?
And he says you're gonna wanna hear what he's got to say. *
What?
Who did this to you?
I haven't made a strong enough impression.
I like your car.
Thanks.
Where'd you get it?
Interested in buying one?
I just want you to tell me how you came by that car.
Jimmy?
What the fuck are you doing here?
Do you remember me?
Yeah, I remember you.
You Jimmy Grantz? *
You're making a big fucking mistake. My associates are not people you want -
Don't say anything else.
I knew I couldn't trust that fuck -
Why?
I don't want blood on them.
Wait! Did he tell you what I was bringing?
Strip!
You think you can bargain with me?!
Take the money and walk away!
You don't remember me.
Sorry, I should have explained. You see, I have this condition -
Please call me Leonard. My wife called me Lenny.
Yeah.
So you have information for me?
Is that what your little note says?
Yes.
You know him?
Have I told you what this man did? *
Yes.
Then you shouldn't have to ask.
But even if you get your revenge, you won't remember it. You won't even know it's happened.
* So I'll take a picture, get a tattoo. * * The world doesn't disappear when you * close your eyes, does it? My actions * still have meaning, even if I can't * remember them. My wife deserves * vengeance, and it doesn't make any * difference whether I know about it. *
Tell me about her again.
Why?
Because you like to remember her. I want to see you enjoy yourself.
I wrote an address in there, too. Might be useful. It's this abandoned place outside of town. I guy I know used to use it for his bigger deals.
Deals?
It's isolated.
Sounds perfect? What do I owe you?
I wasn't helping you for money.
They treating you alright?
Don't remember.
Sleep okay?
Guess I don't have to worry about him anymore.
Calm down. You're not into anything. It was my problem, you offered no help. It's got nothing to do with your investigation.
That's the problem! How can I find John G. when I don't know what's going on?! How did you get me into this?!
How do I know he did that to you?
I came to you straight after he did it. I showed you what he'd done and asked for your help.
So I just take your word?
Yes.
Something feels wrong. I think someone's fucking with me. Trying to get me to kill the wrong guy.
Did you?
What?
Kill him.
You decided to help me. Trust yourself. Trust your own judgment. You can question everything, you can never know anything for sure.
There are things you know for sure.
Such as?
I know the feel of the world. I know how this wood will sound when I knock. I know how this glass will feel when I pick it up. Certainties. You think it's knowledge, but it's a kind of memory, a kind you take for granted. I can remember so much. I know the feel of the world, and I know her.
Your wife?
It's not easy to be calm when -
His name was Jimmy.
What happened?
He went to meet somebody and didn't come back.
What do the police think?
Kill him.
Who?
I did exactly what you told me. I went to * Dodd and I said that I didn't have * Jimmy's money, or any drugs, that this Teddy must have taken everything.
And what did he say?
He didn't believe me. He said that if I don't get him the money tomorrow he's gonna kill me. Then he started hitting me.
Where is he?
What are you gonna do?
I'll go see him.
Give him some bruises of his own and tell him to look for a guy called Teddy.
He'll kill you, Lenny.
My wife used to call me Lenny.
Yeah?
Yeah, I hated it.
Me? Why would he be interested in me?
I told him about your car.
Why would you do that?
What's wrong?
Somebody's come. Already.
Who?
Calls himself Dodd.
What does he want?
Wants to know what happened to Jimmy. And his money. He thinks I have it. He thinks I took it.
Did you?
No!
You don't know, do you? You're blissfully ignorant, aren't you?
What happened?
Neither do I.
Don't protect him.
I'm not.
Help me.
How?
Get rid of Dodd for me.
What?
Kill him. I'll pay you.
What do you think I am?! I'm not gonna kill someone for money.
What then? Love? What would you kill for? For your wife, right?
Don't talk about my wife.
Calm down.
That's easy for you to say! You can't get scared, you don't remember how, you fucking idiot!
Just take it easy, this isn't my fault.
Yes.
You pathetic piece of shit. I can say whatever the fuck I want and you won't have a clue, you fucking retard.
Don't say another fucking word!
* Depends on if he's here in town. Or if he's moved on. See, I've got all this - *
They're not looking for him.
How did they explain what you remembered? The gun and stuff?
You can stay here for a couple of days if it'll help.
On the house.
My wife.
Sweet.
Dying.
What?
Beer, please.
What do you want?
A BEER, please.
There's a dress code?
What are you here for?
I'm meeting someone called Natalie.
Well, that's me.
You tell me.
You're the memory guy?
How do you know about me?
My boyfriend told me about you.
Who's your boyfriend?
Chronic alcoholism ~ one cause of short term memory loss.
Are you Teddy?
My name's Leonard. *
Did Teddy send you?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
I can't make new memories. Everything * fades, nothing sticks. By the time we finish this conversation I won't remember how it started, and the next time I see you I won't know that I've ever met you before.
Mr. Shelby, you know all about Sammy and you decided that he was faking -
Mrs. Jankis, the company's position isn't that Sammy is "faking" anything, just that his condition can't be shown -
I'm not interested in the company position, Mr. Shelby. I want to know your honest opinion about Sammy.
We shouldn't even be talking this way while the case is still open to appeal.
I'm not appealing the decision.
Mrs. Jankis, what do you want from me?
I believe that Sammy should be physically capable of making new memories.
Thank you.
How can you read that again?
It's good.
You've read it a hundred times.
I enjoy it.
Yeah, but the pleasure of a book is in wanting to know what happens next -
Beg my forgiveness! Beg my wife's forgiveness before I blow your brains out!
Leonard, you don't have a clue what's going on. You don't even know my name.
I'm Leonard Shelby, I'm from San Francisco and I'm -
That's who you were, you don't know who you are.
Shut your mouth!
Did you? I musta forgot. I'm Teddy. *
This is your car.
What the hell you want to go there for?
You know it?
Yeah, it's just this fucked-up building. * Why are we going there?
Yup?
Mr Gammell?
Lenny, is that you?
John Gammell?
Lenny, it's Teddy. Look, stay there, okay? I'm gonna be right over.
Unfinished business. What made you think I wasn't coming back?
You said you were leaving town.
Things change.
So I see. It's good to see you. My name's Teddy.
Guess I've told you about my condition.
It's my condition. I never know if I've already eaten, so I always just eat small amounts.
You don't have to remember to be hungry.
It's weird, but if you don't eat for a while then your body stops being hungry. You get sort of shaky but you don't realize you haven't eaten. Have I told you about Sammy Jankis?
Yeah, yeah. I heard enough about him. Tell me about John G. You still think he's here, right?
Who?
Why?
Well, the other day you made it sound like you thought somebody might be trying to set you up. Get you to kill the wrong guy.
Yeah, well I go on facts, not recommendations, okay?
Lenny, you can't trust a man's life to your little notes and pictures.
You really want to find this guy?
He took away the woman I love and he took away my memory. He destroyed everything; my life and my ability to live.
You're living.
Discount Inn. Don't know what room; haven't got my key.
Why are you here?
You don't know him?
I don't think so.
Think so? You don't know? Didn't you write it down?
I'm not gonna help you kill this guy, if that's what -
Natalie? Natalie who?
We've got to get him out of here.
He's got to have a car, right? We just take him back to his car and tell him to get the fuck out of town before we kill him.
We can't just walk him out tied up and bleeding.
How'd ya get him in here in the first place?
It must be his. I don't think they'd let someone like me carry a gun.
We probably ought to take his car, you know, teach him a lesson.
Shut it, Teddy.
Easy for you to say, you've got the Jag.
I'll ride with him. You follow.
So was he scared?
Fuck you. We shoulda taken his car.
What's wrong with this one?
So what are you gonna do now?
I'm gonna ask Natalie what the fuck that was all about.
Who the fuck are you?
Teddy. Your buddy.
Prove it.
Unfinished business.
Lenny, as a buddy, let me inform you. Your business here is very much finished. You're still here because of Natalie.
Why's that?
What do you mean "bad news"?
She's gonna use you. To protect herself.
From who?
Guys who'll come after her. Guys who'll want to know what happened to her boyfriend. They'll want to make somebody pay. Maybe she'll try and make it you.
Yeah, well maybe she'll make it you. Is that it? You worried she'll use me against you?
She couldn't.
She has no idea who I am.
Why are you following me?
Happy now?
I won't be happy until you leave town.
Why?
How long do you think you can hang around here before people start asking questions?
What sort of questions?
The sort of questions you should be asking yourself.
Like what?
Like how'd you get this car? That suit?
My wife's death. I used to work in Insurance, we were well covered.
Yes, I do. I don't have amnesia. I remember everything about myself up until the incident. I'm Leonard Shelby, I'm from San Fran -
I didn't sell -
I know, you investigated. Maybe you need to apply some of your investigative skills to yourself.
Yeah, well, thanks for the advice.
How'd you know I was in here?
Why?
Why? Come on, Leonard, we talked about this. It's not safe f or you to be walking around like this.
Envelopes? *
He knows you're no good on the phone, so * he calls you up to bullshit you. * Sometimes you stop taking his calls, so * he slips something under your door to * frighten you into answering your phone * again. He's been pretending to help you. * Feeding you a line of crap about John G. * being some local drug dealer.
How do you know this?
'Cos he fucking told me. He thinks it's funny. He's laughing at you.
How do you know him?
You're not coming?
What's wrong?
He might have fallen down the stairs, I don't know, I don't know what's going on, I'm confused. I have this memory thing - do I know you?
No. Don't worry, I'm a cop. Everything'll be okay. Is he still breathing?
I don't know. See, I have this condition.
This is a drug deal?!
He knew about Sammy. Why would I tell him about Sammy? *
You tell everyone about Sammy. Everyone who'll listen. "Remember Sammy Jankis, remember Sammy Jankis". Great story. Gets better every time you tell it. So you lie to yourself to be happy. Nothing wrong with that - we all do. Who cares if there's a few little things you'd rather not remember?
I dunno... your wife surviving the assault... her not believing about your condition... the doubt tearing her up inside.., the insulin -
That's Sammy, not me! I told you about Sammy -
Like you've told yourself. Over and over. Conditioning yourself to believe. "learning through repetition" -
Sammy let his wife kill herself! Sammy ended up in an institution - ! *
Sammy was a con man. A faker.
I never said he was faking! I never said that!
I was wrong! That's the whole point! Sammy's wife came to me and -
My wife wasn't diabetic.
She wasn't diabetic. You think I don't * know my own wife? What the fuck is wrong * with you? *
I guess I can only make you believe the things you want to be true, huh? Like ol' * Jimmy down there.
What difference does it make whether he * was your guy or not? *
It makes all the difference. *
Why? You're never going to know. *
Yes, I will.
No, you won't.
Somehow, I'll know!
You won't remember!
When it's done, I'll know! It'll be different!
You know, when we found your guy and * killed him. That's right, the real John G. Over a * year ago. I helped you find him. He's * already dead. *
Why do you keep lying to me? *
So who are you saying he was? *
You probably. *
No. You took them out. *
Why would I do that? *
To set yourself a puzzle you won't ever solve. You know how many towns, how many * guys called James G? Or John G? Shit, Leonard, I'm a John G.
Your name's Teddy.
I should kill you. *
It is now.
Okay. We clean him up, untie him and * march him out with a gun in his back. *
What cop?
Bullshit. *
What was it for? *
* Thank you. *
Gin and Tonic. Plymouth or Boodles.
Lemon or lime?
Lemon doesn't go in Gin and Tonics, darlin'. Where ya' from?
Gottingen. That's in Sweden.
No. I was in Namibia...
Doing...?
Yeah.
What's your twenty?
Quarter mile away. We see the lights...
Turn around.
We know these people...!
About the Stevens family, I'm sorry. I know you were close to them.
I was the kids' godfather.
And...?
"And" what?
Sal Maguda.
He any good?
Oh, yeah...
With Sonny. 110%.
They'll kill Gina.
She's sending a message. Meth Lab. Trailer park. Anything with interesting antenna arrays...?
...eliminated one. SWAT's on the next two...
...I didn't want you around the crime scene because it's crawling with federal law enforcement. We don't know who's straight up, who's not...
He is fine. And we know the jokes. When it gets vengeful, things get messy. When they get messy the wrong people die... Everybody gets it.
Okay. What'd you spot...?
Yeah?
José Yero changed-up the drop plan on us. He's grabbed Gina.
Where's the new drop point...?
They'll have surveillance on us. We'll know only at the last moment...
What do you think?
It's a rip and a hit.
Get me Air Support... We'll be airborne and assault the ambush...
Just came in. She's still alive.
We're not certain...
You said Nazi Low-riders...?
Not anymore. This is a distribution network out of South Florida, moving poly-drug loads, crystal meth through coke, to Nashville, Atlanta, Memphis, Cleveland. And computer fraud, identity theft. It's like that.
Tell them what you want.
You need to consider a few issues.
...you'd be operating outside territorial United States. Your badges do not count. You have no authorization to carry weapons. If you're busted, it could take a long time to get you re-patriated. And there's no backup... And you will share with them all your intel on Montoya...
Sure.
I mean <u>full</u> disclosure.
I don't know.
Yes you do...
I got to talk to my ADO...
So...?
Meth precursors and the Dutch party favors are en route.
All I want to know is the where and the when. Spare me mini moves, progress reports and bullshit.
Okay. You got the "item"?
I got the item.
And our friend don't like the rest of the people bringin' the merch to you.
How many?
Two main players plus three.
My end?
25% discount on the load.
Make it 40%.
Make it 35.
Put your guns on the table... If we wanted you dead, you would no longer be drawing breath in Miami. We wouldn't have brought you all the way here.
I thought we had to meet the Man.
You do.
When?
We want it back.
Okay.
What's "nothing"?
There is one thing you can do for me in recognition of the death- defying risks we took to recover your product...
What do you like to drink?
How fast does that go?
It goes very fast.
So where's the best place for mojitas?
Bodeguita del Medio. It's the <u>only</u> place for mojitas...
Where's that?
Off a little alley with cobblestones. Hemingway went there...
The Keys?
Havana.
Havana? Cubans don't like us or my business...
My cousin is the harbor master. You must not bring in drugs. You cannot be armed. If you're carrying, it has to go. Or stow it inside. No one will go near your boat...
You do business in Cuba with your husband?
Were you born in Havana?
Angola. My mother was being a surgeon there. She volunteered. Mozambique and Mali, too... ...those days, in those days...she was part of Cuba's gift to the third world. She came from a bourgeois family with a house in Verdado...we still have the house. We will go there...
Where's she now?
Your father?
How's he not your husband?
Mojitas...?
Later! Do you dance?
Tell <u>me</u> everything.
No.
I insist.
Blanca...a rubio like you. I see her in a dress...an old photograph from Lucinda somebody's wedding...everybody is with couples. Husbands and wives. They all pose. My mother is alone because my father had to go back to the fighting. ...she looks right into the camera. She is the most beautiful woman in the room. By herself. In a party dress. And she looked like
Died in childbirth, having me...
You know how improbable this is...?
"Probable"...applies to an event that may be real. Doesn't apply here.
...'cause we have no future...are of today and not tomorrow.
That's right.
...and therafore there is no consequence?
Like...?
Like "three thousand a ki?" That's nice. And I can supply the transportation into South Florida and the Gulf, more reliable and on-time than FedEx. But, three per ki was OK for openers.
And why should continuing excellence cost more?
Cost less. That's the point.
Is it December?
What do you mean?
Did Christmas come early this year...?
Better than that. We become partners. Only in this territory and only on loads we run. And you don't pay us three thousand a ki. You pay us zero. Why we get is thirty percent of the load. Product or cash. "And why," you're thinking, "would I be crazy enough to out in these gringos like that? Is he chipping? Crazy for my love?
Good samba dancing...?
Zero risk.
'Cause you don't lose loads?
'Cause we <u>guarantee</u> every load. Anywhere, for any reason, it comes up short, we make good. Your operations will, from now on, run risk-free.
The range should be between fifteen and seventeen-point-five percent of the P.O.E....to even consider it.
I need thirty. Calculate in, also, the cash you don't have to front...
Available cash is not an issue for us...
Twenty-eight-point-five.
What if I pushed to twenty-one...?
I would say you're... ...four percentage points away from a deal...
Hola, chica.
I forgot the napkins.
And the chopsticks and fortune cookies?
What's the best fortune you ever got?
They're all the same. "Financial security is around the corner." "Your friends love you."
Do you have assets somewhere else? Bank accounts?
Why?
...to fall back on. You know, a fail-safe. Insurance.
Do I need it?
Everybody needs it. Ask Prudential. Or Allstate.
Something like that. The odds catch up with you. The odds are like gravity. You can't negotiate with them. So...at some point, you should cash out, take your money and run...
Really?
Sure. As far away and as fast as you can.
When?
Would you find me...?
Of course.
Where would I go?
Zanzibar. The Comoros Islands. Somewhere in the Indian Ocean. There's twelve-hundred islands there...
Is this the protective male talk?
This is the talk of a man...if he were your husband...he would never put you at risk. He would never put you within a thousand miles of anything that could hurt you.
And if I were in the Comoros, in the Indian Ocean, where would you be...?
A few more moments, still in this business. Then I'd find you.
...in the morning.
Yero, by himself?
If they attack you...
What are you going to do with me? Are you taking me to jail? You think I will turn into your informant, is that it?
No part of it wasn't real.
I know. And now?
José...
Sonny Burnett...this is my partner, Rico.
What...?
You afraid of violence?
Red light, green light, José?
Client got delivery. But there were..."extras" in the back of the truck.
"Extras" tried to relieve us of your weight... And by the by, you know of a player in Overtown who goes by the name of "Things Aquatic"?
I do. We don't do business with him...
He tried to..."do business"...with you. Around ten. His place. Be there.
Yeah.
How 'bout this? How'd Neptune know where to hit us? Huh? Whose Op sec's got a leak? Yours?
What'd Neptune tell you?
He didn't. Interrogation's not in our skill set. So c'mon, what suspicions have you master-minded off these associations?
Packaging?
Yeah?
You got something to say, José, let's hear it.
What friend?
Proof of life. How do I know Mrs. Rico's alive?
What's our deal?
Backup in case the Russians get physical.
How lucky's Miss Universe gotta be?
And there's Dmitri...
The honey trap. And there's the honey.
What is it?
Alonzo...
Stevens?
White gangs...? It doesn't track.
Aryan brothers are not going to change-up suppliers. So...
Track with me, here... They knew the "Russians" were undercover Feeb? They should have no-showed. But, no, these guys show anyway, and commit murder upon federal officers. And steal all your money... What does that say to you?
So?
And we didn't come down here to audition. Business auditions for us... ...and know who we are and know they want their load run by us <u>before</u> Nicholas calls.
People gonna walk into this place and say, "Ola, hijo! That some crazy wallpaper. Whew...it wild! Is that a Jackson Pollack?"
"No, viejo. That was José Yero, splattered all over his motherfucking wall."
And specialize in very fast go-fast boats for coastal runs.
The people on shore who handle a load we run are our people, not your people. No tweakers, dopers, first- timers we don't know. They didn't do time with us, they ain't doing crime with us.
What <u>you</u> get <u>from</u> us is a date. A place. "In the parking lot of a Jack-in-the-Box in north Miami." At such-and-such time, an eighteen- wheeler will be there. Keys in the ignition. Ready to roll. You pick it up. And you drive it... ...away.
Then it don't work.
Anything?
Where we meeting 'em...?
What do we got?
They watching us watching them watching us waiting for them? Or what?
To the limit.
You worried about the tree line, US Customs AWACS, or something else on your mind?
Like...?
Gina in the Miami pad. You gonna give me phony denials?
No. You gonna give me phony reassurances?
No.
How much we looking for?
Where the hell are you, man?
Where'd you go?
Hit a couple of jazz clubs. Fell back to her place.
Where?
Verdado.
Verdado where?
It's in the suburbs outside Havana.
Havana, Cuba...?
No. Havana, Louisiana. Don't we have a meet?
...where you're makin' a move on the wife of Archangel de Jesus Montoya?
No.
You're not makin' a move on her...?
We're makin' moves on each other.
Yeah. CIA-level stuff...
And what does that level of spending on first-class, private- sector infrastructure signify to you?
Their loads are poly-drug. "E" from Holland, methamphetamine precursors from Jordan, Afghan "H." Mid-ocean transshipments. His real business is: he's a network.
And we can illuminate part of it from the inside out.
Hey, fuck him.
Chill out Sonny.
What is going on...?!
As in...?
There is "undercover." And there is "Which way is up?"
You think I am in so deep I forgot?
I am asking. You to me.
Do you <u>believe</u>...I have forgotten I am a cop?
If you see a few new faces, don't get jumpy...
What's your take?
What's the point? It's going down.
Eleven to seven he blows it.
Twenty on my man...
Go ahead.
Too fast. Too many moving parts.
If we were for real, and knew our shit, we'd fade this one...
Then you should.
Hello?
This is Agent James Fujima.
Detective Crockett.
What's your Miami PD badge number?
4-4-7 Charlie 12-92.
Okay. What's up?
A C.I. we cut loose to your Joint Interagency Task Force. Name of Alonzo Stevens. Now, he's YOUR informant. Stevens, called us. I haven't spoken to him for six months. I do not know what case you have him on. I do not know what he is talking about. But whatever he is doing for you, it sounds like it is going bad. Right
How do I discuss operations over an open line?
Guy's involved in a "meet"...
"Buy and walk"? "Buy and bust"? "Reverse undercover"? What?
Meet and greet. "I flash you some of mine, you flash me some of yours?"
And the deal goes down at another place at another time.
That's right.
OMGs, Mongols, Nazi Low-Riders, prison gangs?
How?
So what do you want?
Get into business with this crew, identify them. Illuminate their network. If you're lucky, discover their source, how they penetrated us. We'll indict and take it from there...
From whom...?
A Colombian producer. Named Archangel de Jesus Montoya-Londono.
Never heard of him.
Who said, "go exploring"? We want this staying on track.
Who's the "we"? There's you and there's us. And all we got from you was bad intel. "Low-level producer." Yeah, right...
What are you talking about?
Out of...?
Control your men.
This I gotta see... ...the "make up an excuse and stop" part.
Have faith.
"Hi, Gina. Hi, Sonny."
You're so <u>not</u> the PD, if you got busted on a DUI, you're in serious trouble...you're bad men back to grammar school. San Quentin. Pelican Bay. Marine Corps. Statesville. Pelican Bay, where you guys hooked up. Now you're too smart and too fast to get jacked again...
How will it stand up?
Yeah...?
Sonny...?
Yeah.
Where's Riccardo?
On the phone.
It's fucked up. I'm sorry...
Alonzo? What are you talking about? Where are you...?
They had me from the gate.
I gave up nothing on you guys. Don't worry. I kept you and Rico out of it. Only the Feds. They're on their own...it's all their deal, anyway, so fuck 'em.
Alonzo, what's goin' on?!
Where are you?
...look after her. Ask Rico to. Okay? Do that for me. I had to do it. They had me from the gate. Do that. Whatever you can do for them. Okay? Look what I did to them, Sonny...!
Alonzo...!
How'd they get onto you?
Correct. Flash samples. Flash cash.
Haitian, Dominican, Russian, Israeli?
Oh, good...
C'mon, man!
Break your encryption? Hack your e- mail? Employee databases? Somebody on the inside?
We don't know. And that's the point. Maybe there's a mole. Whatever, it's a disaster. And it's a Joint Interagency Task Force. I have DEA, ATF, U.S. Customs components in on it. So the penetration could be from any one agency. What we do know is I have to suspend operations right now from undercover work through interdictions 'cause I have to assume our
As in, your ass is dead in the water.
Reverse undercover? WE supply to them?
Who are you talking to?
So?
Only African he ever "relocated" was a $2,000-an-hour Nigerian model for Gucci, and he got wounded when she took an NBA draft choice to the Super Bowl instead of him...
What am I supposed to do after I get my nails and hair done...?
You okay?
Yeah.
You sure?
Yes. What's up?
Nothing. Calling to say hi... What's up with you?
Okay...see you soon.
...and thanks for the flowers.
What flowers?
You mean with the flowers...?
What's it say?
Okay.
...the lease, the phones, the cars...layers of false ident. Would take the FBI weeks. How long did it take them? Three hours? Four? This means, "We can reach out and touch somebody." Like Bad Teleflora.
...even if they could run the identities you built to EPIC, all they'll find is more cover... Trust what you built. It's quality, girl. We're cool...
...and we're looking at Nigerian crude...
Precursor shipments from Ras Tanura and Ju'aymah?
Transshipped to a Malaysian container ship.
Not French registry?
They've been targeted. And Pakistani registry is too vulnerable to search and seizure right now.
Burnett? They want 22% of the value on loads they run into South Florida. It's the Juarez cartel model. They guarantee the loads. The upside is our risk goes to zero. That frees-up capital.
And...?
Why?
I think José suspects anybody he doesn't intimidate. And people, who are good at what they do? They have egos, too...
What would you do...?
I run down the numbers. Nothing is very negotiable. Small loads? We pay three thousand a ki. We pay your fuel costs up front plus ten percent. The next ten percent on U.S. landfall.
Define small.
And as an investment in the future...
Conveyance?
That sonofabitch!
You set this up!
It's all bullshit. Jesus is out of communication in Fals de Iguazu. José knows that... Whatever he's going to do, he has to do it fast because he's acting on his own. And he will need a story.
Meaning...?
So lay it out, my brother...
Equipment?
And violence is extra. And expensive. So how much weight you looking to move?
What do you care?
Then what were we talking to you for?
What do I care what you think about how he looks? You wanna fuck my partner or do business?
This the load you lost a while back?
I walk into Neptune's house...very nice. But I also see you... and our drugs that got ripped from Maguda.
Transshipment point is here at 17:00 hours on the 23rd.
Uh-uh. No predetermined places and times to meet. Give me their heading and radio codes and I will talk to them directly with the longs and lats and time which will be a last minute deal...
Importation value? At twenty-two thousand a ki...
What the hell did you do?
I gotta, I gotta go...!
Alonzo...
What...?
They said they wouldn't hurt them, wouldn't hurt them if...
Beg pardon, ma'am. I'm brand spanking new to this town, come from Houston, Texas, and hoping to get a look at the Statue of Liberty...
You're hoping to get a look at what?
The Statue of Liberty.
Don't know what line Morey's in, but myself now, fact is -- I'm a hustler.
Hers'n zodda meg a livig.
Beg pardon, ma'am?
Said, a person's gotta make a living.
You sure you heard what I said?
You're such a doll. I hate money, don't you? God, it's been fun.
You ain't coming to work?
What you gonna do back there, East?
Lotta rich women back there...
Yeah?
Men, they mostly faggots.
Must be some mess back there.
Well, ain't no use hanging around here.
Ain't gonna collect your pay?
Were you looking? About the Statue of Liberty?
Joking? No, ma'am. Oh no! I mean business!
I'm sorry. I thought you were -- never mind -- I've never actually been there, but let me see, you take the Seventh Avenue subway, I think, to the end of the line...
You're not looking for the Statue of Liberty at all.
No, ma'am, I'm not.
I can tell, can't you?
Yeah, oh yeah.
He's got taxi fare.
Well, that's something never happened to me before, you can bet your bottom dollar. Uh, where's the matches, ma'am?
You think I'm lying!
Maybe we should take a little nap, see what happens?
I ain't sleepy.
That's pretty Freudian, Joe.
What? It's a perfectly good word, ain't it. How much time I got? Goddam sand thing drive you crazy. Kee-rist. Spelling never was a very strong point with me. Even in school.
If you didn't talk so much, maybe you could think more.
There's an E in MONEY. If that's your word.
M-O-N-Y -- I'm right! That's just exactly how they spell it up there on that big building, bet you could see it from here. M-O-N-Y.
Okay. Never argue with a man.
Cut it out. That's cheating, teasing me so I can't think. Just one bitsy Y word and I gonna beat you!
You gonna beat me, Joe?
Beat your butt, you don't lemme think!
Gay ends in Y. Fey. You like that -- gay fey -- is that your problem?
That is one hell of a shirt. I bet you paid a pretty price for it, am I right?
Shee-it... Kee-rist, you really know the ropes. Wish to hell I bumped into you before. I'm Joe Buck from Texas and I'm gonna buy you a drink, what do you say to that?
Enrico Rizzo from the Bronx. Don't mind if I do.
... you see what I'm getting at here? She got a penthouse up there with color TV and more goddam diamonds than an archbishop and she busts out bawling when I ask for money!
For what?
For money.
For money for what?
I'm a hustler, hell, didn't you know that?
How would I know? You gotta tell a person these things A hustler? Picking up trade on the street like that -- baby, believe me -- you need management.
I think you just put your finger on it, I do.
Hey, listen, how about you take me to mee this Mister O'Diddle bird right now?
Tomorrow when some piece like that's scratching your back in a Fifth Avenue townhouse, where'll your pal Rizzo be? Nedicks.
Let's see how you look. Fine. You look fine. Now I'm gonna have to have that other ten...
Ten, ten -- I got a twenty -- take that...
Oh hell, forget it.
Now take it. Go on. Listen, where can I reach you? Cause I'm gonna make this right with you soon's I get me set up...
Forget it.
What's in your socks?
You keep the sixty-four cents. I want you to have it.
You want some free medical advice, shut your goddam mouth about that night.
Listen, keep away from me, hear? You come near me again, I snatch you bald-headed!
I'm inviting you. I mean if you're not located, I got a place. I'm inviting you, goddamit.
Smart thing for me to do is haul ass outta here.
You don't seem like no fag...
What for?
I drug in a cot, if you want to stay.
You want me to stay here tonight, is that the idea?
I ain't forcing you, like, I mean, who's forcing you?
I want you to stay, okay? I goddam invited you, didn't I?
Well, I hope you know what you're in for. I'm a very dangerous person. Someone does me bad like you. If I caught up with you that night, there'd be one dead Ratso long about now. Hear?
I'm impressed. You're a killer.
Joe -- do me one favor -- this is my place, am I wrong? You know, in my own place my name ain't Ratso. I mean it so happens my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
Shee-it, man, I can't say all that.
Rico then, at least call me Rico in my own goddam place.
The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk. That's a known fact. If I can find the goddam hole the milk squirts out.
This is an okay setup you got here, but I'd say you ain't just exactly, uh, flush, is that right or not?
In Florida, they come smooth, ready to eat. Down there, your only problem is, diet-wise, you gotta lift an arm to wipe warm milk off your chin. Tough, hey?
Miami Beach is the only place for a real hustler. Florida has more rich chicks per square yard than any resort spot in the world. They lie out in their pagodas and pergolas waiting to grab the first jockstrap that passes.
Look at yourself, Joe, no offense, but frankly, you're beginning to smell. For a stud in this town that's a handicap.
You ain't got a chance in hell. You need threads and glitter, baby. A front, hey?
Hey, you're good! I bet you could pick up a living at this if you tried.
Kee-rist, you pretty damn clever for a skimpy little gimp.
You like it? Take a look.
Not bad -- for a cowboy -- you're okay, you're okay.
Shee-it. Cough yourself inside out, then light a fag, a goddam fag. You make me puke. Where'd you steal it? In the movies?
The coat? A guy I did a favor once gave it to me. Christ.
Where'd that come from?
Forty-second Street. Where'n hell you think it come from?
Kee-rist, you sure are one twisty little bastard, Ratso.
The name's Rico, at my own father's grave, a man deserves some respect.
Respect shee-it! You even steal flowers for his grave.
Well, uh, he dam well know he ain't 'be-loved Aunt Winifred'.
Well, this thought just struck me. It wasn't too long ago I was washing dishes way the hell somewhere in Texas.
Yeah, well, so?
Now I'm here. I'm in New York City. Getting picked for things. Don't you see what I'm driving at?
What you're driving at, you want me to get lost so you can go to your fancy-ass party.
Did I say that? Did I? It don't say nothing about you...
Don't say nothing about you either.
But they picked me, right? So what I'll do, I'll just say, now look, you want me? Well, I don't go nowhere without my buddy here.
You got a comb?
Don't need a comb.
Well, I made it. This here is Ratso Rizzo and I...
Tell her, Ratso.
Well, if you're awright, why you hanging on the bannister. Can you walk or not?
They wrong?
No. But while you was buying the underwear, I could have lifted the socks.
But thanks. Hey, Joe, don't get sore about this or anything. You promise?
Yeah.
Well, I don't think I can walk. I mean, I been falling down a lot and, uh...
And what?
I'm scared.
What of?
What'll happen. I mean what they do to, you know, do with you -- if you can't -- ah, Christ!
Who?
Okay. Here it is. You gonna go see the doctor. I got nine bucks and twenty more Thursday and I gonna be riding high before you know it. So you gonna get you the best goddam doctor in this town and get yourself straightened out, that's what.
No doctors. No, sir. Not me. Doctors are like goddam auto mechanics. Fix one-thing, unplug another. Operate for piles and while they're there, they unscrew your liver. My old man, for God's sake, wasn't any sicker'n I am when he went to the doctor.
Well, just exactly what the hell you think you're gonna do? Die on me?
I'm going to Florida, that's my only chance.
You know what's wrong with you? You got fevers. You kinky as a bedbug. How you gonna get to Florida?
I'll find the money. If you just get me on the bus, that's all I ask.
Just when everything's going my way, you gotta pull a stunt like this.
These guys're good drivers.
They gotta be.
You get your first palm tree in South Carolina.
How'n hell a dumb Bronx kid like you know that?
I read it.
If you have to shiver, why don't you pull the blanket up more?
I been thinking. I hope we're not gonna have a lotta trouble about my name down there. Because like what's the whole point of this trip anyway?
Keep the goddam blanket on.
I mean New York's one thing, but can you see this guy, imagine it, running around the goddam beach all suntan and he's going in swimming, like, and then somebody yells 'Hey, Ratso' -- how does that sound to you?
Sounds like they knew you.
Hey -- whatsa matter?
I'm wet.
You're what?
I wet my pants! My seat's all wet.
Hell, don't cry about it!
I'm falling apart, that's funny?
Hey, what the hell you doing?
Thanks, Joe.
A drink? I've got some nice gin. If you'd prefer something else, they'll send it up...
Gin's okay.
Sometimes it seems to me time stopped twenty years ago. There was this war, there was this handsome young man with quite black hair and he was supposed to die. But he didn't. Isn't that amusing?
What d'you want?
What?
What you got me up here for?
Oh, difficult, it's so difficult. You're a nice person, Joe -- I should never have asked you up -- a lovely person. Oh, how I loathe life. I loathe it. Please go. Please.
You want me to leave?
No, yes. No, I mean yes please go. Help me to be good. Come back tomorrow. Promise.
I'm going to Florida.
Listen, I gotta have money.
Here. Don't even thank me.
I gotta have more'n ten. I gotta have fifty-seven dollars.
I simply don't have it, Joe.
Get outta my way.
Am I tickled to find you, boy! Come on in and let's get a look at you. Turn around. Good strong back. You'll need it. So you want help -- take a seat, relax, tell me about yourself. Cowboy, huh?
No sir, I'm no cowboy really, but I'm a first class stud.
Take it,easy, boy... Seems to me you're different than a lotta boys that come to me. Most of 'em seem troubled, confused, but I'd say you knew exactly what you want.
You bet I do, sir.
But I'll bet you got one thing in common with them other boys. I'll bet you're lonesome.
I'm lonesome. I'm lonesome so I'm a drunk. I'm lonesome so I'm a dope fiend. I'm lonesome so I'm a thief, a fornicator, a whore-monger. Poop, I say, poop! I've heard it all and I'm sick of it, sick to death.
Yessir, I can see that.
Lonesomeness is something you take. You bear? Dammit, you take it and go about your business, that's all.
Well, uh, I'm raring to go.
Yes, I believe you are. Cowboy, huh?
Uh, yessir.
Ready for hard work, son?
Ready for anything.
I got a hunch, Joe Buck, it's gonna be easier for you than most.
Gonna be like money from home.
You're a wonderful boy. You'n me gonna have fun, dammit, it don't have to be joyless. Say, why don't we get right down on our knees now?
Get down -- where?
Ever stationed at Kennedy? Those Florida chicks...
Instant V-goddam-D.
This Pensacola teeny-bopper -- jail bait -- but built? Ten bucks she wanted. Three of us made a deal for, twenty-five, see, big goddam bargain?
Big peni-goddam-cillin bargain, right?
You got it.
You really want to do business?
Sold. Let's go.
... and taxi fare for me.
Get lost.
He fell. Hey, fella, you fell. Is he all right?
Getchmis olsun
Getchmis...?
Looks like a cheap hotel.
'Figgers.
...He had a bald skull and...
The kids? Why are they...
Yeah.
History, man, history. How much?
Two kilos.
Where?
The airport. Trying to get on the plane for the States.
Could be ten or fifteen. Maybe even twenty.
Twenty months?
Years?
Tunnel?
Hey! I'm getting this together man and I don't need no fucking Gastro-head along on this trip! We go through the wall.
You got that, shit face? Asina...
It's there!
What?
Want me to take over?
What?
How's your hernia?
Anybody bitten?
Nah, just covered with batshit!
Who?
To what?
Too bad you didn't have a machine.
Gotta be here someplace. Thought I heard a couple of dead Christians singing down there.
--the water like "'weeps" through the cement, see. Twenty, thirty years, you can almost push it over. All we do is use Gastrohead's screwdriver here and scrape the mortar out. Pull out 2, 3 stones, squeeze through, put 'em back, and get our ass down the shaft, It's a two night operation, maybe three.
And what do you do when you in the catacombs?
Hey, you know what's gonna get us out of here? It's not a map, Max. It's our balls. You know what I mean... ...I gotta get laid man, I don't know 'bout you guys, but if I don't get it on soon, I'm... I'm not gonna make it.
Shit.
Haps, railroad, bus timetables?
Dad...I'm...
...Don't worry about it. I can punch you in the nose later. Right now we've got to get you out of here. You all right?
Yeah. How's Mom?
Bad. She couldn't make the trip. You know Her boy... Susan told us before we got your letter. She's fine; she's trying to get the money to come back and see you, but...
No, don't let her! I'll... How about Peg? Robbie?
Right! That's what we're shooting for. Mister Davis and have been in contact with the State Department, but right now relations with the Turks aren't too good, Nixon's upset the hell out of them. Our best bet's... right here.
Dad... I'll pay you back for all this, I Promise.
Where'd you get that limp?
Where you staying, Dad?
The Hilton.
How do you like it? Istanbul?
Why'd you do it, Billy?
For the money... )
I know you kids smoke that stuff, and we drink booze, but taking it across a border - it was stupid, Billy. Stupid.
DAD!
You know where they are?
Sure.
How far?
About ten kilometers.
Sixty Lira?
Those mountains? are they?
Two miles! Minefields over there. Do you know where this campground is or not?
Not far. Just a little way.
No! I'm not going any further! It'll wreck my car.
I'll pay extra
Where are the minefields?
All over. Turkish Army up there. It's against the law. They shoot us. You sure you looking for your friends, man?
Okay! Ley me out right here. I'm getting tired of all this bullshit from you. I'll walk it.
No, I'm not afraid.
Good. There's nothing to be afraid of. If you co-operate with us, you will be on the plane for New York tomorrow... yes?
Yes...?
Good. Now, where did you get the hashish?
A cabdriver. He picked me up in the Pudding Shoppe in the bazaar.
Would you recognize him again?
Yes. I think so.
You decided to fly at a bad time Billy Palestinian Guerrillas all over the place blowing up planes and all.
Stupid.
Four planes in four days...but I guess you kids don't read the newspapers...and what with our people kicking up a shit storm 'bout the flow of heroin from Turkey you got...
Well, you see Billy, it don't really matter right now if it's 2 kilos or 200 kilos. The Turks love to catch any foreigner smuggling - it shows the world they're fighting the drug trade.
But just...
Just what?
...are you with the Consulate?
How much you pay this joker... this cab driver?
Two hundred dollars. It was my last two hundred.
Three, four thousand...I don't know. The guy offered me the hash-- ...it just seemed like easy money.
Beats working.
Got a family back there?
Yeah. Parents, brother, sister. Babylon, Long Island.
What's your father do?
He sells insurance for Metropolitan Life.
Girlfriend?
She didn't know anything about...I wouldn't have wanted her to.
Jeez, she used to say I was the lucky one.
How's it feel?
Just Erich.
Feeling all right?
New people sometimes get on his nerves.
And you?
What they give you?
How much did you have?
A hundred grams.
There is no fair in Turkey, Billy. It's all "sula-bula" like this, like that. An Italian hippie had a car accident and a Turk was killed. SO, they threw him in here for six months...
That doesn't seem so bad.
But he was eating lunch a mile away when the Turk smashed into killed himself.
He wasn't even in the car?
You just got to get yourself a good lawyer. And some money... Talk to Max. He's been in the longest.
How long?
Hello, Billy.
I want you to know we're going to do everything, in our power to get you out as soon as possible. Believe me.
What's wrong?
No... It looks like your going to have a new court.
What do you mean?
The Prosecutor objected to your sentence for possession; he wanted a smuggling conviction and the High Court in Ankara reviewed it.
And?
What do you mean LIFE FOR FOR WHAT! FOR WHAT!
Best way is get your ass out... any... way... you can...
What do you mean?
Get the... midnight... express.
But how would you get into the shaft, Jimmy?
You gotta be fucking crazy! You got stabbed in the ass once too much, sweetheart, cause you're gonna end up in Section 13, that's what - not the 'catacombs.
Yeah, for the criminally insane. I was there once for two weeks and it ain't an illusion. It's awful. Namidou runs it like a death camp, that's where he spends most of his time...
Where is it?
You got your stuff?
Okay?
Yeah!
What time is it?
Shit! Shit! Shit!
We go back.
What? You gotta be joking.
Goddamn Gastro's killing me. Making me blind. Hey Billy!
Yeah.
Yeah I got it all worked out. Billy, listen to me. That old guard likes you, You drop some acid on him. When he's Seeing rainbows yer know. walk out - tonight.
Then we're outside the kogus. Then what?
What?
After we're outside the kogus?
Oh we... we...
What?
Cut his fucking throat.
Whose?
Max, sit down. You're in no shape to kill anybody.
I want to cut his throat.
It's already been cut.
...His money - steal that, you steal his blood... Could you see his face when everything he worked so hard to get got snatched? If we knew where he hid it. Anyway, steal from him they'd pick up the whole prison and shake it sideways. We couldn't hide it anywhere.
You know where it is?
What?
'Dem dat hides can finds says I'... I seen him, the clever tit, sneaking looks at it late at night, talking to it.
Hishradyo.
Max - where?
Just got some news on Bell.
What?
Bad. Sent to the City Hospital. They ruptured his hernia again.
Why the suit?
I think I've been poisoned.
And you ate two baclavas, right? I not to touch them, mine was awful.
Never was anybody like you...
You can't take anything seriously.
Billy, what's the matter?
My passport!
Susan - forget it. Go get us a seat on the plane. Now.
What is it? . . . Billy?
Billy - you'll just make yourself crazy.
What is it with you man, what the hell is it?
Cat, ah! Ayip!
You're ayip!
Look, you don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you, right?
But you fuck with me. You fuck with me all the time. You make crummy tea. You rip us off on the hash.
I make special tea for you, Hiyes, okay? We've to live like brothers. We have to be in here together.
Know what?
Was.. ...seven years old. I was on street in Suk. Buy. Sell. No family to take care. I learn.
Dog eat dog, Hi-yes. You fuck other man before he fuck you. And you must fuck last.
That's a great philosophy.
Hey, Ziat, hurry up with the tea will ay!
Work, work, work, that's all do
Vilyum, I am Necdit Yesil.
Mr. Yesil.
You know I have lectured at the University of Maryland in your country? Also University Michigan Very nice country. We both go back.
What'd the Prosecutor say?
It's not important, just technical things. We make our case. You were very good, you spoke well. The Judge like you. It look good. Don't worry.
Lawyers?
His name?
Who?
What lawyer?
Who got the Frenchman out?
Hey, you can't...
What's your name?
Jeremy...
Okay, Jeremy...go get Dr. Chris Raymond, will you?
Lady...
The blintzes! "Try the blintzes..."
Selling your sould for a fistful of carbohydrates...
Not just any carbohydrates, mind you. It was like being on the receiving end of some kind of transcendent oral sex. We should get a strobe on this thing. Maybe even a siren.
You really love flashing that thing, don't you?
Internal hemorrage. 2 our of 5 have it. No definite signs of TB, but we'll quarantine them a week just to make sure.
Immigration's gonna love you for that.
Did they get the sleazebag who owns this place?
There are thirty five listed in the reverend Wong's roster...
Peter...
Yeah...?
There's some weird shit here.
Weird shit...?
You all watch your step. We got some burrows goin' down seven stories here. You fall, I don't wanna have to come pick you up.
There's really people living down here?
Funny. Shoulda seen some track bunnies by now.
What?
Show that to the station manager. Tell him Leonard's gonna have his bubble-butt he don't have someone down here in ten.
H-how do I get...?
Go left. Go left again till you hit the fork... Then right again. You got that?
I think so. One right, two lefts...
And a right.
Look, I showed you my badge...
Yeah, and you gonna have to show me a lot bigger one you wanna go down there. That's the old maintenance grid, Doc. Swiss cheese: tunnels, tracks...
The Department of Public Health...
...should know better'n to go sneakin' around my turf...
Fine. You want me to call your supervisor?
Excuse me, I'm talking to you.
For Chrissakes. You gonna lay a two- bit bureaucratic, territorial number on me?
We'll be back at the platform in...
20 minutes. If you don't go sight-seeing anymore.
Did you see the size of that thing?!
Oh, that's gonna work.
Any luck?
You said those cables're still live. Can't we rewire...?
Oh, man, there you go again.
What?
For Chrissakes, what's the problem? You need a memo every time you fart?
I only got...
Wait a minute-
Its muscles are locked.
You feel anything?
Yeah, I feel like ripping your fucking eyes out...
Leonard, listen. I need to see if there's any nerve damage before we carry you back. Look, I'm trying to help you here...
Oh, you helped me here, all right, white boy. You and your goddam memo. You needed to prove your point, uh?
A mistake.
"Mistake"? What's that supposed to...?
It doesn't matter, all right? It's dead.
Is there a switch?
Can we get this car there?
You gonna finally get to fuck around with the wires. Think you can handle it?
The kid...
The kid's with them!!
What do you-?
He's special.
My God, what the hell are you...?
What are you doing down here?
You better tell me what the hell's going on here!
The lights come up, you pull the switch.
I pull.
What's Manny doing? I can't see him anymore.
What are you putting that crap on me for?
But the power...
It would take a minute or so. You won't last that long out there.
He didn't do it!
What?
Which way?
We're no leaving you!
Just inner chambers...
But it look like a man. It... I saw it.
Mantids can mimic. We gave the Judas that code...
"...and behold he will come that walks as a man, yet is not a man- ..."
He's out there. I heard him. How can he be? This things...
Manny...
I didn't protect him, lady. He trusted me. And I didn't protect him... His father...I lost his father to the streets and now, Chuy...
A shame. You looked great tonight.
Please.
Do you think we did the right thing?
Taking a cab instead of hiring a limo?
We did no impact evaluation. The consequences of...
Who know? We get lucky, maybe a couple of 'em'll be ours.
You know where they get this fertility stuff? They extract it from the urine of menopausal Italian nuns.
You were the one who ran around with ice in his underwear, don't forget that.
Okay, meet me out front. I gotta go. Josh's picking me up in five. see you tonight.
Thought it was my week for that.
This thing was the size of my fist, Peter!! That's off the charts!
Okay. So you lost a great specimen-
Evolution doesn't work that fast. Something pushed that thing to take the leap. We need to find another specimen.
Keep going. We'll tell you when to stop...
Maybe they lied to you.
Metaxonycha Godmani.
Honey, just leave it.
You give someone a fucking uniform and... Did you hear how he talked to us?
I heard how you talked to him.
He was just doing his job.
Great crowd.
I get the feeling they came more for the potroast than the apterids.
Fuck 'em. They don't know what they're missing.
Oh, no, you were-
Ironic, don't you think? These guys can hatch hundreds of offspring in a single clutch of eggs, right? And here we are...
...you don't even know what you're looking for.
You said that thing was big as your hand. I don't think I'm going to miss...
Why take the chance? Just let me go down there with you...
Susan, listen to me: you handled that insect almost as much as Siri...
It didn't bite me.
It's me. Can you hear me?
Don't.
No, Jesus, no.
So, you're saying this is like those bugs that -- that look like twigs or leaves or...
His blood! It's driving them crazy! We have to mask the odor!
It's no use! They know we're in here!
They don't know anything Peter, they just sense. They're hardwired!
Rub it on the windows!
What-
We'll cover ourselves with this. They can mimic us- we Goddam mimic them!
Peter-
It worked before...
The scent won't last...
Don't touch it. And for Godsakes, try not to sweat. They can sense chemical changes...
I was just thinking how I could use a pair of pliers... and I remembered where they are...
Oh, come on, come on!
You go first. I'll be right below you.
Your arm, you can't...
C'mon...
Ah...
Talk to me.
No...
Hello.
You guys have done a nice job. How bout five dollars?
You sure you didn't see one of these?
Gross. What is it?
An "Ootheca". An eggcase. It probably had more, uh "weirdbugs" inside.
Siri, sandblast that thing. It looks like Trump Tower. Those mounds are supposed to be made of dirt and excretions...
...as long as they're ready for the opening I don't care, just tell them that.
I'm on it. Don't worry. Look, Susan...I don't mean to pry, but... I kinda overheard you and Peter.
Watch your step, Siri. Your grant could be on the line here.
I just...well, I had this cousin in Delhi. She was having problems, too. She, ah...
What?
Not a big one. I mean, it was like a turkey baster.
What's this?
I'm gonna pull it out and I want you to pin it down, okay?
What is it?
It bit you.
This wing configuration. I've never...
Fuck! It broke the skin...
My God.
That's impossible. Insects don't...
Oh, my!
Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. You didn't give me a chance to knock.
Guess you can tell from my reaction, I'm not all that used to visitors out here. What can I do for you?
I was just wondering if you happen to know anything about Paul Sheldon.
What do you want to know?
Excuse me, that's not exactly the kind of information I was after. You see, he's been missing for quite some time now, and...
I know. It's so upsetting. I'm his number-one fan...I've got all his books, every sentence he ever put down. I'm so proud of my Paul Sheldon collection... ...here I am, prattling on and my manners have just flown away. I haven't invited you in. Please.
God told me, since I was his number- one fan, that I should make up new stories as if I was Paul Sheldon. So, went to town. And I bought a typewriter. And paper to type on. The same kind Paul Sheldon used. And I turned the guest bedroom into a writing studio. Would you like to see it?
Sure.
Well... ...maybe it takes time to get the hang of it.
I could give you a couple of hundred pages of mine, and you could tell me what you think.
I'm not much of a critic.
Well, I just thought--oh, look at me. You'd think I'd never had a house guest before. Would you like something to drink?
Sure.
How does a nice cup of cocoa sound?
Must get lonely, living out here all by yourself.
I always say if you can't enjoy your own company, you're not fit company for anyone else.
Thanks, Miz Wilkes, but I don't want to take up any more of your time. I best be going.
If you don't mind, perhaps I could pay you another visit sometime.
Shhh... we're just outside Silver Creek.
How long...?
You've been here two days. You're gonna be okay. My name is Annie Wilkes and I'm--
Here.
What are they...?
Shouldn't I be in a hospital?
Your legs just sing grand opera when you move, don't they? It's not going to hurt forever, Paul, I promise you.
Will I be able to walk?
No, it wasn't a miracle at all... in a way, I was following you.
Well, it wasn't any secret to me that you were staying at the Silver Creek, seeing as how I'm your number- one fan and all. Some nights I'd just tool on down there, sit outside and look up at the light in your cabin-- and I'd try to imagine what was going on in the room of the world's greatest writer.
Say that last part again, I didn't quite hear--
Don't move now--wouldn't want to hurt this neck-- Well, the other afternoon I was on my way home, and there you were, leaving the Lodge, and I wondered why a literary genius would go for a drive when there was a big storm coming.
I didn't know it was going to be a big storm.
You're very kind...
When do you think the phone lines'll be back up? I have to call my daughter, and I should call New York and let my agent know I'm breathing.
It shouldn't be too much longer. Once the roads are open, the lines'll be up in no time. If you give me their numbers, I'll keep trying them for you. Could I ask you a favor? I noticed in your case there was a new Paul Sheldon book and... and I wondered if maybe...
You want to read it?
If you wouldn't mind.
I have a hard and fast rule about who can read my stuff at this early stage--only my editor, my agent, and anyone who saves me from freezing to death in a car wreck.
What's your new book called?
I don't have a title yet.
What's it about?
It's crazy, but I don't really know, I mean I haven't written anything but "Misery" for so long that--you read it you can tell me what you think it's about. Maybe you can come up with a title.
But what?
Nothing.
No, what is it?
Oh, it's ridiculous, who am I to make a criticism to someone like you?
I can take it, go ahead.
Well, it's brilliantly written, but then everything you write is brilliant.
Pretty rough so far.
The swearing, Paul. There, I said it.
The profanity bothers you?
It has no nobility.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.
They had it at the store, Paul, there was a whole batch of them there. As soon as I saw it, I slammed my money down. I got the first copy.
Then the roads are open...
The one to town is, but that's about it. I called the hospital and talked to the head orthopedic surgeon. I told him who you were and what had happened. He said as long as there's no infection, you're not in any danger, and as soon as the road to the hospital is open, they'll send an ambulance for you.
The phones are working?
Well, mine's still out. But the ones in town were working just fine. I called that agent of yours. Oh, Paul, I peeked at the very beginning. What a wonderful first page--just to read the name Misery Chastain...
My daughter must be going nuts.
...it's like a visit from my oldest, dearest friend.
I was supposed to be home for her birthday three days ago.
I made you my speciality--scrambled eggs a la Wilkes. And I'm on page 75.
I guess that means it's okay.
No. No, it isn't, it's-- --oh pooh, I can't think of any words. Would "great" be insulting?
I don't mean to pry, but I've read in two magazines now where you were seeing this model who does those disgusting jeans commercials. And I said it can't be true. Paul Sheldon would never waste his time with a trampy woman like that.
Well, you can't believe everything you read in magazines.
I knew it. I knew it wasn't true. Boy, how do they get away with printing stuff like that?
Thank you so much.
I thought it was time you two should meet. Paul, say hello to my favorite beast in all the world, my sow, Misery.
Yes. I told you I was your number- one fan.
I'm getting to believe you.
This farm was getting kind of dreary, what with just the few cows and chickens and me-- But when I got Misery here, everything Changed--she just makes me smile so.
She's a fine... uh... pig is what she is...
I'm on page three-hundred now, Paul, and it's better than perfect--it's divine. What's the ceiling that dago painted?
The Sistine Chapel?
For a while I thought I might go crazy.
I know how that can be.
I just kept reading them over and over. I know when I finish this one-- and I've only got two chapters to go-- I'll just turn right to the front page and start reading it again.
I'm...
Done?
Yeah, thanks.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against marriage per se. But it would take a pretty special guy to make me want to go down the aisle again.
Well, it's not something you should enter into lightly.
I'd love to stay here and chat, but I'm right at the end and I gotta find out what happens.
Well, I hope you like it.
You...you dirty bird. She can't be dead. Misery Chastain cannot be dead! How could you?
Annie, in 1871, women often died in childbirth, but her spirit is the important thing, and Misery's spirit is still alive--
I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I want HER! And you MURDERED her!
I DIDN'T...
Then who did?
No one--she just died--she slipped away, that's all.
What are you doing on the floor? It's my fault. If I'd had a proper hospital bed, this never would have happened. Here, let me help you back in. I know this hurts, but it'll only take a few seconds. There you go. Comfy?
Perfect.
You're such a kidder. I have a big surprise for you. But first there's something you must do.
I don't suppose I could have a little snack while I wait for the surprise?
But this time I thought clearly. I asked God about you and God said "I delivered him unto you so that you may show him the way."
Show me the way?
You want me to burn my book?
Yes.
You want me to burn my book?
I know this may be difficult for you, but it's for the best.
Then light the match, Paul.
No big deal.
I know this is the only copy, Paul. When you were twenty-four you wrote your first book and you didn't make a copy, because you didn't think anybody would take it seriously. But they did. And ever since you've never made any copies because you're superstitious--it's why you always come back to the Silver Creek Lodge. You told that story to Merv Griffin eleven
You know, Annie, this book never would have survived without you. When it gets to new York, there will be a big auction, and whatever it brings we can split. God knows you're entitled to it.
Oh, Paul. This isn't about money. It's about decency and purity. It's about God's values.
You're right. You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. I'll tell you what. It doesn't have to be published. Nobody ever has to see it. I'll just keep it for myself. No one will ever have to know it exists.
I do believe the winters are getting shorter and shorter every year. People say it has something to do with the ozone layer. What do you think?
I don't know.
Yeah, well, it's a theory. Here's your Novril. How does tuna casserole sound for dinner?
See, isn't this nice?
Great. I've always wanted to visit the other side of the room.
And look what I've got for you. An electric razor so you can shave yourself now.
If I knew this was gonna be the surprise, you could've gotten me to burn all my books.
Set what up?
That's the big surprise. Your new studio--after all, writers do need a place to work.
Work? You mean write? What in the world do you think I'd write?
Misery's Return?
Yes. It will be a book in my honor. For saving your life and nursing you back to health. I'll be the first one to read it. Oh, Paul, you're going to make me the envy of the whole world...
You just expect me to whip something off, that it?
I expect nothing less than your masterpiece.
I guess you don't get bothered by neighbors much.
Don't worry about that. You'll have total solitude so you can concentrate on your work.
And I got a great deal on this fifty- pound clunker--on account of it's missing an "n." I told the saleslady "n" was one of the letters in my favorite writer's name.
It's two of the letters in my favorite nurse's name, Annie.
You--fooler...! Did I do good?
You did great, except there's just one little thing--I can't work with this paper. It's Corrasable Bond, it smudges. Maybe you could go back into town and bring me some white, long-grained mimeo.
But mine cost the most so I don't see how it could smudge.
Well, it does smudge after all--isn't that fascinating?
I thought you'd be interested. I'd like you to be in on everything, Annie. Not just the finished book, but how it's written.
Thank you for thinking of me. Anything else I can get while I'm in town? Any other crucial requirements that need satisfying? Would you like a tiny tape recorder? Or maybe a handmade set of writing slippers?
No, just the paper will be fine.
Are you sure? 'Cause if you want, I'll bring back the whole store for you.
Annie, what's the matter?
Paul, you're dripping with perspiration, your color is very hectic--what have you been doing?
You know goddamn well what I've been doing--I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE SUFFERING. I need my pills.
Poor dear... Let's get you back in bed and I'll get them for you.
I want my pills NOW!
It'll only take a second.
Here, in case you think of any ideas.
Yeah, well I wouldn't expect too much.
I'm sorry, Paul. This is all wrong, you'll have to do it over again.
What? What happened to "I'll treasure whatever you do?"
Paul, it's not worthy of you. Throw it all out except for the part of naming that gravedigger after me. You can leave that in.
I really value your criticism, but maybe you're being a little hasty here.
Paul, what you've written just isn't fair.
--not fair?
That's right--when I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favorite thing in all the world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the chapter plays...
--cliff-hangers--
"HE DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE COCKADOODIE CAR!"
They always cheated like that in cliff-- --chapter plays.
What's the matter, Paul? You haven't written a word.
I can't write this anymore.
Don't be silly. Of course you can.
I'm telling you, I can't.
You can--you have the "gotta"--
The what?
The "gotta." Remember, you talked about it in Playboy magazine. You said there's a million things you can't do in this world; you can't hit a curve ball, you can't fix a leaky faucet or make a marriage work-- but there's one thing you always have, and that's the power of the "gotta."
I said that?
What about a bee...?
What?
Well, is it fair? Should I keep going?
I've known from the very first book that Misery had to be born of nobility and I was right!
Oh, Paul, can I read each chapter when you finish? I can fill in the "n"s. Will she be her old self, now that Ian has dug her out, or will she have amnesia...?
...have to wait.
Will she still love him with that special perfect love?
Have to wait.
Misery's alive! Misery's alive. Oh, it's so romantic--this whole house is going to be filled with romance. I'm going to put on my Liberace records-- --you do like Liberace, don't you?
Whenever he played Radio City, who do you think was right there in the front row?
To celebrate Misery's return. I couldn't have done it without you.
I hope you like it.
It looks wonderful. And so do you.
I've never had meatloaf this good, what do you do to it?
My secret is I only use fresh tomatoes, never canned. And to give it that little extra zip, I mix in some Spam with the ground beef.
Annie, I think we should have a toast.
A toast?
To Misery.
Wait, let's do this right. Do you have any candles?
Did you study decorating, or do you just have a flair?
Oh, you. I just picked things up over the years.
Well, it certainly says you.
You really think so?
Are you kidding? If anyone ever told me that one day I'd be having a candlelit dinner with Paul Sheldon in my own house, I woulda checked both legs to see which one was being pulled. Will this do?
Oh, God, what have I done? I'm so sorry, Paul. I ruined your beautiful toast. Will you ever forgive me? Here, let me pour another one. Can we pretend this never happened? To Misery?
Paul, this is positively the best Misery you've ever written.
Annie, what is it?
When you first came here, I only loved the writer part of Paul Sheldon. But now I know I love the rest of him too. As much as Misery loves Ian. I know you don't love me--don't say you do--you're a beautiful, brilliant, famous man of the world; and I'm...not a movie star type. You'll never know the fear of losing someone like you
Why would you lose me?
The book is almost finished. Your legs are getting better. Soon you'll be able to walk. You'll be wanting to leave.
Why would I want to leave? I like it here.
That's very kind of you, but I'll bet it's not altogether true.
Paul, I know you've been out.
What?
You've been out of your room.
No, I haven't.
Paul, my little ceramic penguin in the study always faces due south.
Now don't fuss, Paul.
Paul, don't you think it's time for you to start writing again? It's been over a week.
I don't know, it's weird, but a couple of broken bones hasn't done a lot for my creative juices. Get the fuck out of here.
Don't talk to me like that.
Why, what are you going to do? Kill me? Take your best shot.
Why are you so mean, Mister you'd-be- dead-in-the-snow-if-it-wasn't-for- me?
Oh, no reason, you keep me prisoner, you make me burn my book, you drive a sledgehammer into my ankles...
I'll drive a sledgehammer into your man-gland if you're not nicer--
Be my guest.
I know you do. I love you too, Annie. And you're right. We are meant to be together. And I know we must die. But it must be so that Misery can live. We have the power to give Misery eternal life. We must finish the book.
But the time is now. Soon others will come.
Oh, Paul. It's beautiful.
The stranger staying at the Inn, is he someone from Misery's past?
Maybe.
This is so exciting. It's Windthorne, her first love, right?
It WAS Windthorne. I knew it--what does that do to her love for Ian?-- --of course, if she hadn't thought Windthorne was murdered she never would have fallen in love with Ian in the first place. Sorry, it's just that this is so wonderful.
I'm glad you like it.
Paul, this will be our legacy.
Oh, Paul. I'm dying. Does she wind up with Ian or Windthorne? You have to tell me.
You'll know very soon. I'm starting the last chapter. And when I finish, I want everything to be perfect. I'll require three things.
What things?
You don't know?
I was fooling, silly. You need a cigarette, because you used to smoke but you quit except when you finish a book, and you just have one, and the match is to light it. And you need one glass of champagne. Dome Pear-igg-non.
Yes, Paul.
I'm almost done.
Oh, Paul, this is so romantic. Ian and Windthorne dueling for the right to Misery's hand. Does Ian win? Oh, don't me. It's Windthorne, right?
You'll know everything in a minute. Get the champagne.
Did I do good?
We actually got a phone call. Busy morning.
Work, work, work. Virginia? When was that blizzard?
Virginia, when you're in this car, you're not my wife, you're my deputy.
Stop--stop right here.
Could be the weight of the snow.
You really think Sheldon's out there?
Here's the list of all Sheldon's credit charges. Nothing after the Silver Creek. Any calls?
You don't think he's dead, do you?
He might well be. But not the way they say. He didn't crawl out of that car by himself. You saw those dents on the door--someone pulled him out.
It was an old car--those dents could have been there forever.
Hey, Jim, what's doing? Uh-huh... uh- huh... Jim, we've been over this. If you're gonna have benches in front of your store, people are gonna sit on them. I don't like him either, but I'm not going to come over there and tell him to move. Give my best to Denise. Bye.
Well, whoever she is, she sure likes to read a lot.
Virginia, I'm flattered you think I got that much energy. I just figured if I can't find Paul Sheldon, at least I can find out what he wrote about.
What do you expect to find? A story about a guy who drove his car off a cliff in a snowstorm?
"There is a justice higher than that of man. I will be judged by Him."
What?
They're hauling Misery into court.
That's nice.
Just leave it, all right?
Oh, I like that tone.
How many times do I have to tell you-- I have a system here. Where the hell is that thing?
What thing?
That thing. Here it is. Right where it's supposed to be.
What is it?
I'm not sure. Maybe nothing.
It's good you found it.
I'm a literary agent, and I feel like a fool calling you, but I think one of my clients, Paul Sheldon, might be in some kind of trouble.
Paul Sheldon? You mean Paul Sheldon the writer?
Yes.
He's your client, huh?
People sure like those Misery books.
I'm sure you know Paul's been going to the Silver Creek Lodge for years to finish his books.
Yeah, I understand he's been up here the last six weeks.
Not quite. I just called, and they said he checked out five days ago. Isn't that a little strange?
No, no, of course not. It's just that his daughter hasn't heard from him, and when he's got a book coming out, he usually keeps in touch. So when there was no word from him...
You think he might be missing?
I appreciate that. Thanks a lot.
Nothing unusual about Mr. Sheldon's leaving, Buster--you can tell by the champagne.
Maybe you can, Libby.
No, see, he always ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon when he was ready to go. Then he'd pay up and be out the door.
No long-distance phone calls, Federal Express packages--anything at all out of the ordinary?
I don't think Mr. Sheldon likes for things to be out of the ordinary. Considering who he is and all, famous and all, he doesn't have airs. Drives the same car out from New York each time--'65 Mustang--said it helps him think. He was always a good guest, never made a noise, never bothered a soul. Sure hope nothing happened to him.
So do I...
I'll bet that old Mustang's pulling into New York right now.
Hey, Pete.
Buster.
Answer me a couple things?
If I can.
Do you have any of those new Paul Sheldon books?
We had a batch. Sold 'em all in three days.
You wouldn't happen to remember if Miz Wilkes bought one, would you?
Has she been buying any odd things lately?
Miz Wilkes? Same old stuff. --Lest you call paper odd.
Newspapers?
No, the typing kind.
An old friend. I was rummaging through a closet and it was just sitting there. Like it was waiting for me.
It's... it's nice, Paul. It's got... character.
When I wrote my first book, I used to carry it around in this while I was looking for a publisher. That was a good book, Marcia. I was a writer then.
You're still a writer.
I haven't been a writer since I got into the Misery business--
Not a bad business. This thing would still be growing, too. The first printing order on Misery's Child was the most ever--over a million.
Marcia, please.
No, no. Misery Chastain put braces on your daughter's teeth and is putting her through college, bought you two houses and floor seats to the Knick games and what thanks does she get? You go and kill her.
Marcia, you know I started "Misery" on a lark. Do I look like a guy who writes romance novels? Do I sound like Danielle Steel? It was a one- time shot and we got lucky. I never meant it to become my life. And if I hadn't gotten rid of her now, I'd have ended up writing her forever. For the first time in
I'm glad to hear that, Paul, I really am. But you have to know--when your fans find out that you killed off their favorite heroine, they're not going to say, "Ooh, good, Paul Sheldon can finally write what we've always wanted: An esoteric, semi- autobiographical character study.
Sorry I'm late. Jenny's basketball game went into overtime. If anybody ever told me I'd have a daughter who'd get a triple double, I'd...
Did they win?
Yeah. They're in the semis.
The word I'm getting is the Times review is gonna be a love letter.
That'd be a first.
And my contacts at Time and Newsweek tell me they're both raves. And don't laugh--for the first time, I think you've got a shot at some prizes.
Great.
I thought you'd be thrilled. You're being taken seriously.
I like it. Remember how you once said I live my whole life as if I'm in danger of being found out? Well, I believe I've managed to get that guy down on paper. Don't think I'm completely nuts, but in some way, Annie Wilkes, that whole experience, helped me.
Paul, since you brought her up, I have to ask you this, or I'd be drummed out of the agents' union-- what about a non-fiction book? The truth about what went on in that house.
Gee, Marcia, if I didn't know you better, I'd think you were suggesting I dredge up the worst horror of my life just so we could make a few bucks.
I thought you were over it.
- pull the NO2 tank and dump it, it's potential evidence..
All done, chief..
- right - - don't go too far ahead of me now -
Not everything. Why do you think she's really here?
From her point of view or mine?
One considers her timing, of course - getting nicked within a week of the plane going down. Suggestive, even borderline suspicious, but hardly conclusive.
You're not scrutinizing any casual shrug for some hair-splitting nuance, are you?
I thought you were going to dinner.
Hugh, take care of the Nekhorvich memory card.
Where is it?
Afraid he's got no choice. I believe I broke his jaw.
Not much luggage.
I left in a bit of a hurry. I'm terribly grateful, Sean.
How grateful?
Well that depends.
On what.
How hard you had to work to get me out of there..how in the world did you ever find me?
How I usually find you, Nyah.
How do you that.
Magic...
Your room.
Mmmm.
You're not interested in seeing how it looks.
I said you're beautiful, Nyah.
Won't do, love. It's not spring. It's nearly autumn..You're in Oz. everything's upside down and backwards here.
You won.
I suppose I did.
What made you pick <i>that</i> nag? She'd never won a bloody thing.
'Thief in the Night?'
See anything you like?
To win?
You picked another winner!
Sean, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about... Isn't going to be easy for me to say.
Then don't say it.
I don't know what to do about you, Sean. I'm more than a bit muddled. I need time.
To do what?
Sort it all out.
And you're going to have time. There's been a change of plans.
A change of plans?
Yes. We won't be able to have dinner tonight. Something's come up. I hope you don't mind.
Oh, no, not at all. Maybe just a bit.
Ulrich will be about. He'll look after you.
Feel like pleading for your life?
God damn it, Nyah! Why did you do it? Why did you save that bastard?
If it'll make you feel any better, you're going to take a lot of Aussies with you and make me a lot of money.
What are you talking about?
Bellerophen? No time at all once I've got it.
Good. Biocyte stock is just a week or two away from going through the roof.
What are you talking about?
An outbreak of <i>Chimera.</i>
Where?
Outrageous. I won't let you take control of my company.
Nyah!
If you look at Hunt's operational history, he invariably favors misdirection and deception. For a start he won't go into Biocyte from the ground where he has to risk confrontation with security.
Fight a bit of a cold..
And you're happy about that?
Beats fighting the flu, I'm here to tell you.
You know, that was the hardest part of having to portray you. Grinning like an idiot every fifteen minutes.
I would've thought the hardest part was exercising restraint. Curbing that pressing need of your to get your gun off. You were in such a hurry to knock off that 747, you never figured out where the virus really was.
I knew where it was.
There it is, guys, the last of it.
Yep. You've provided us with a golden opportunity to have both the bug and the bug killer.
What was the top bid?
Why, you going to make me a better offer?
Than thirty-seven million pounds? Not really.
She doesn't belong here, Sean. Let her go.
Oh, Hunt, please! One can't hold Nyah responsible for her actions..
Checkpoint Charlie plus 30, altitude minus two-zero-thousand. Airspeed one-seven- niner knots..
Not exactly. Wallis?
More like two-two point two million.
-- now here's the way it's going to work..Wallis, the shares outstanding are..
Ninety-three point four million.
Damn. Just when it was about to get interesting.
What you got there, mate?
A myth..just a myth...shouldn't you be checking out their countersurveillance?
Well you know his blokes'll place the OSCOR in his annex, where else if you're pinpointing transmitters, video signals, covert chip cameras, anything radiating, oscillating..
..or hard wired..
Well do you disagree with that?
Not at all. But how about going into town and confirming your intuitions on site?
Ambrose is meeting some bloke in the bar. Big bloke, ginger hair. They're into something.
Wrong. All we've got to worry about is Ambrose. Nyah will take care of Nyah.
What are you talking about?
It is, Billy.
Ambrose obviously got these from Nekhorvich on the plane.
So Ambrose has Bellerophon and McCloy's got Chimera.
Package away in five..four..three.. two..one...
Billy. I think we got a problem. Nyah's on the wing. Up early. Billy, do you copy?
Exactly where is she?
Before we kill her or cure her..
We're due to take off.
Range is two kay.
There she is. I got visual.
That's it? That's it? That's it?
And the check's in the mall.
I'm booted up. Go, Ethan.
Say again. Sounds like you're saying 'she's in the building.'
She's in the elevator heading toward Ethan.
How much longer before you can reach him?
How're we doin', then?
He should've have killed the virus in the incubation area..Nyah's exited the elevator on the same level as the lab.
What can we do' mate?
Do you know me?
No. Should I?
No. You just looked as if you did.
No. Just as if I'd like to.
Oh. Well. I think that can be arranged.
Not tonight. Bad timing. Sorry -
Look, it's either you or the rent and I don't mind telling you it's not an easy choice.
What if I pay the rent?
Uh-huh.
What are you doing here?
Think you're the only one who can pick a lock?
Would you mind if I'm on top?
- right..where is it?
Where's the bloody -
- torque wrench.
- this is very disconerting..
Hey, you put me here. I just do what I'm told.
I wouldn't do that.
Under the circumstances I think we would recommend re-setting the senors to respond to a lighter load. How do you feel about forty kilos, Miss Hall?
Indeed.
I'm missing something here, aside from a 500,000 pound necklace. Even after I botched the job, I could've walked out of there with the bloody thing.
At least you walked.
If you weren't going to let me get away with it, why did you let me go thru with it?
Wanted to see how good you were. I'm hoping we might work together.
May I say something, no offence? You look like a gigolo, you sound like a thief, you act like a cop - what the bloody hell do you have in mind?
Working under adverse conditions. Highly adverse conditions.
Sounds smashing. I'm in. Muchacho, mi carro, por favor! Now be serious. You couldn't possibly want me off tonight's performance..
You're apologizing for me? Quite the gentleman..
Hola..
Hi. Would you mind slowing down?
Pull over and listen to me, will you? Just listen..
Listen to what?
I need your help and I thin you can use mine.
Your help? What are you talking about?
Scotland Yard, Interpol, every Dutch authority. I can make them go away.
What's you name?
Ethan Hunt.
Awfully short notice..
Care to wait a decent interval?
When they've got your recruiting technique? Not a thing.
Oh. Well..this isn't exactly by the book.
They've got a book for this?
They've got a book for everything.
The only other spook I knew was a liar. Charming but absolutely incapable of telling the truth. He'd lie about his favorite color. But then I reckon it's an occupational hazard. All spies really do is conceal the truth and tell lies.
Not revealing information doesn't necessarily make someone a liar.
That's not the point. In the end what spies rely on is the one thing they think they know that you don't.
Which is?
So where did I got right?
You're not a liar. Or you're an awfully good one.. ..this thing these blokes pinched..
Well, then, what I am I doing here? I assume I'm meant to be some sort of thief-to catch-a-thief..
Spoken like a spook..you ever afraid?
Ask a question, you get an answer!..
Damn, you're beautiful.
What's the population of Seville any idea?
Five, six-hundred thousand.
There's nearly 2 million in London.
And six billion in the world.
That's lot of people out there..how many of them, I wonder, are capable of something like that?
Not that it matter much but..I seem to recall you staying something like, 'I was hoping we could work together.'
This wasn't what I had in mind, Nyah.
Go and insinuate yourself back into Sean's life.
I'd like a little more conviction..
So would I. But it's not mine to give.
You've either got it or you don't. Let your conscience be your guide?
But I don't have a conscience. I'm a bloody thief.
You can be a thief and have a conscience.
No. You can be a thief and have a conscience: Not me. Why did you have to tell me about this! What do I have to do to get away from this guy? When you're with him, he messes about with your head every waking moment..even now I'll be at some out-of- the-way-place, a tin of caviar and a bottle of Crystal shows up
I don't.
Someone in possession of all the facts. Are you telling me I have to do this?
Generally, I don't favor coercing someone. Not when there's a chance my life could end up in their hands.
And that's the only reason?
Can you think of a better one?
Not me. I was just hoping you might..or that..somehow in the course of business this got personal as well as physical.
Look, would it make you feel better if I didn't want you to do this?
Much.
Sean will never be anything but suspicious if he picks up some sort of 'yoo-hoo-I'm- not-nad' message. Not after the way we broke up.
What wouldn't make him suspicious?
Look, I can't run your arrest in CNN, but I guarantee he's monitoring every law enforcement agency in the world, for what they might be saying about him, if nothing else - he's got the ability and, we assume, the desire to get you out of there.
This doesn't seem to be accomplishing much.
Well, I mean it's not a total loss. It is keeping a very capable thief off the street..
Before you are.
How can you possibly? I've got to get right on the plane. I'm leaving now.
You don't trust me.
Oh, I do. But as we know I'm a very poor judge of character.
He's got you on Qantas flight 2735. It's going to be delayed.
Yes?
You'll be fine. I'm going to lose you.
Ethan, you take care of yourself, I'll take care of myself because if push comes to shove, I'm gonna bail - and without giving two week notice.
How's it going? Everything okay?
Just like old times.
Just like old times?
We know him. He's over your left shoulder, looking right at you as you go on..
- Michael, his driver's an Aussie, new to me. Then there's the blokes in the annex at the back of the house.
Have you met them?
Annex is strictly off limits to me and they never come to the main house, Michael even takes their meals to them all but shoves them under the door.
Ambrose has photographs of newspapers with loads of money piled on them -- thirty- seven million on the London Times. What's that about?
-- his left jacket pocket.
Where do I meet you?
Betting table twelve off the paddock. Nyah, are you up to this?
I managed.
I want <i>you out of there.</i>
Nyah, you've done more than enough. Even the best of snake charmers get bit.
I want you out of Australia! ..I don't know how much more plainly I can put it.
How do you suggest I go about it?
Easy, easy, easy, shhh!
Are you okay?
I am now. Get me out of here. Just get me out of here.
Ethan, you know what frightens me most when I'm with him?..the thought of never seeing you..how are we getting out of here?
Nyah, it's very important not do anything to alarm Ambrose..
What? You told me to get out of here. I thought you were here to collect me. I was so relieved.
What did you think you were doing!
- you who don't have a conscience.
I guess I lied..You can't get both of us out of here, can you?
No.
Then you'll have to kill me before it's too late. Before I start killing people.
No.
No. Should I?
No. You just looked as if you did.
Sorry I didn't let you know where I was.
Don't be. Wouldn't be on vacation if you did.
Well. You're sorry and I'm sorry.
Why did you phrase it like that?
Like what?
'You're sorry and I'm sorry.'
An idea, yeah.
Like?
Like it's a good idea to pick him up in a hurry. And a bad idea to fly him on a commercial carrier. So let's get on with it. He's still in Sydney?
If he didn't want to go anywhere without me, how did you get him on the flight?
When I couldn't find you, I had to replace you. Sean Ambrose was the obvious choice. He double you, what? Two, three times?
Twice.
What did you think of him?
You know we had reservations about each other. Isn't it a little late in the day to be asking me that?
So there's one thing we know Ambrose doesn't.
Whatever Nekhorvich was carrying Sean wanted and he wanted to conceal the fact that he took it.
Sean feels he hasn't done the job unless he leaves a lot of hats on the ground.
Right now only Ambrose knows that.
In any case, you've got to recover Chimera and bring it to us.
In order to do that, I've got to figure out how he plans to make money with it.
- right. In fact since the plane went down our banking sources have confirmed a marked increase in the stock pilling of cash in terrorists accounts.
'Terrorists?'
Well you know Nekhorvich's history. You're the one who got him out of the Soviet Union was it still in bio- weapon business.
If that's what you're thinking Ambrose would have set up a bidding situation with any number of buyers before he got on the plane. Locating him in time to stop something like that -
- is where Miss Hall comes in.
Excuse me?
Miss Hall and Ambrose had a relationship which he took very seriously. She walked away and he's wanting her back ever since. We believe she's our surest and quickest way of location him.
And then what?
Then makes sure she continues to see him. Gets him confide in her and report to you.
You made it sound as if I was recruiting her for her skills as a thief.
Well, then I mislead you. Or you made the wrong assumption. Either way we're asking her to resume a prior relationship, not do anything she hasn't already done.
She's got no training for this kind of thing.
I don't think I can get her to do it.
You mean it'll be difficult.
Very.
Not yet. We did manage to pull any sensitive equipment and material out of our safehouse wreckage.
We could lock down passport control and all ports of authority, but that won't stop Ambrose, and beyond him, we don't know who else we're looking for -- all terrorist bank accounts of which we're aware are stable. No deposits, no withdrawals. Therefore no suspects.
We think we've got our finger on the buyer.
Do you? Even assuming you're able to prevent Ambrose selling Chimera, you've now got an additional problem. You destroyed all of Chimera at Biocyte. If Ambrose is going to sell Chimera now, he'll have to do it by taking a pint or so of Miss Hall's blood to market.
Yes, I believe that's right.
But that leaves another seven or eight pints of Chimera.
You mean that leaves Miss Hall.
- good. Then if you manage to get hold of Ambrose, and obtain what he's got, you've got - - 8 hours 57 minutes and twenty-three seconds to destroy the largest remaining source of Chimera on earth.
She sacrificed herself..
Something else?
Aren't you even curious? About why she did it?
Sorry, Ethan. I don't quite know where to begin. Any suggestions?
You'd like me to conduct my own debriefing.
Why not? You've done just about everything else on this operation.
I'd thank you -- but I'm not sure that was a compliment.
Of course it was. Anyone whose operations requires the level of disinformation that yours do, is bound to get a little flak here and there. You try flogging the stories on CNN I've had to come up with about what's been going on around here the last few days. At any rate, it's been most instructive -- what they'll swallow, or what they'll broadcast
Yes, I gathered as much.
And the only other remaining sample was in the canister you recover from Ambrose.
Yes.
And that appears to have been destroyed. It also contained the anti-virus, Bellerophon.
Well, Bellerophon, it turns out, was only really effective against Chimera.
But you were under specific instructions to bring back a living sample of the Chimera virus. I'd be very interested to know how, after you'd managed its recovery intact, it subsequently got destroyed.
No, I don't. But in this case -
In this case, it wasn't a bad idea. In face, it was a pretty damn good idea. Just don't make a habit of it. And, as for Ms. Hall, in light of her efforts, her criminal records will certainly be expunged. I'm assuming you approve.
I do.
Where is she now, by the way? Do you know?
I don't. No exactly.
Well, Hunt, what are your plans?
Not sure. Some sort of vacation. I'll let you know where I'm going.
You keep staring at that watch as if your life depended on it, Doctor..
Well, yes. I suppose I am a bit anxious.
They're ready and waiting. You'll soon be with old friends.
I'm with an old friend now, Dmitri.
Sorry it couldn't be under happier circumstances.
He was quite a man. Did he know before the end you two had succeeded?
Yes, he knew. Just..
..not in time to save him.
..it seems we have a problem, Dmitri.
..I'm fine..and you?
It's the transponder.
Put in the coordinates and let's get a visual. The visuals aren't coming up.
Nekhorvich specialized in recombining DNA molecules. In the myth, Bellerophon killed Chimera, a recombinant monster with the head of a lion and the tail of a serpent who plagued the ancient world. I think Nekhorvich has created a monster virus in Chimera and apparently the means to kill it in Bellerophon.
That simple, huh?
Luther..get us everything you can on the outbreak of influenza on Bruny Island last month, including photos of the victims.
Nekhorvich's boss?
Ambrose just pulled the memory card out of the digital camera and put it into an envelope, put it in his inner left jacket pocket...
Left jacket pocket?
Roger that.
Confirm. Left jacket pocket.
Left jacket pocket confirmed.
I don't know, but Nekhorvich was not a manic. Get me a twenty on Nyah.
She must still be on the property.
Ambrose got Bellerophon from Nekhorvich on the plane, but he didn't get the Chimera virus.
Yeah. Why else would he come back to Australia? If he had them both, he could sell them anywhere.
I kill Chimera at Biocyte and he's sitting on a cure without a disease.
Sorry, that it a Biocyte facility, their storage structure..
Let's start from the inside out.
Now how to get in there.
Thirty-second opening in the roof and a 250-foot drop.
Luther, I'm looking at security.
Ethan, I keep telling you there's not a chance of locating Nyah til I access the satellite and there's not a chance of doing that til I get this thing booted up and running! How much time does she have left?
Luther, say again.
She's on the North Head Bluff - approaching the cliffs. One klick away.
So what did he say?
A visit from an old friend.
What's happening here? You're dead!
Fatigued, certainly. But dead is a little extreme. On the other hand, when me dear Gradski had your pulse and blood pressure he has less than ten hours to live.
It was in the bloody papers, on the telly..what's this about Gradski?
You have Bellerophon.
Do I?
You took it! All of it! And what if I need it?
'If?' My, my, my...the five hundred people on Bruny Island that you deliberately infected with <i>Chimera</i> needed it as well.
Oh, please! How was I to know they had to be treated with Bellerophon within twenty hours?
By asking me.
You still don't get it, do you? You want to make an omelet, you break a few eggs - <i>I needed to know just how bad the disease was</i> - in the real world, not the lab. And you never know til you try. You thought you were genetically splicing together strains of influenza to create a cure for all influenzas. But I saw
You wanted the disease in order to peddle the cure.
Well, the thought had occurred to me. I needed Chimera in order to peddle Bellerophon. For hero to be appreciated, you need a monster. Now that's not so difficult to understand, is it? Look, time was a shot of penicillin could knock off every bloody bug in the zoo! Not anymore!..have you any idea the R&D money it takes to float one little pissy
Kasimov, Kasimov, good that you called us.
C'mon, c'mon, tell the truth...c'mon.
You asked for my help. You <u>asked</u> for <u>my</u> help...come on...
Come on!
His name is.....Dimitri Miediev.
To friends.
The man's gone black, Barnes. He's under until he decides to surface.
Look we can use someone from the Embassy and we can get the local authorities involved. Close off his transportation.
What can we do, Barnes? Put a guy at the airport? How many identities do you think Hunt has? How many times has he slipped past custom, in how many countries? These guys are trained to be ghosts. <u>We</u> taught them how to do it, for Christ's sake!
So what do you suggest?
That's S.O.P..
<u>Think</u>, for Christ's sake, you guys are mired in detail, open your minds, it's gotta be staring us in the face! What does Ethan Hunt <u>want</u>?!
Same thing he wanted in Prague! Same thing he's always wanted! The NOC list!
You and I know about this -- and that's where it stops. Understand? It never happened.
Only four more cars.
And if we donít find him - weíll search the whole train again.
Whatís Hunt doing on the TGV?
High speed train. No-one gets on. No- one gets off. High security. Good place for a pass off to Max.
But why tell us?
Heís putting on a show, Barnes.
What kind of show.
Nothing but civilians, Gene.
This is bullshit - we donít even know what Max looks like.
Maybe we donít have to know what he looks like. If heís got that list, heís going to want to check it. We should be looking for laptops.
You knew about Jim?
Two minutes til Krieger shows. Thisíll have to be quicker than Iíd like. Certainly quicker than youíd like.
Ethan, if you knew about Jim?..Why..
Well Claire do you? Have you been exploiting his feelings or returning them?
Satisfied?
All ten million.
Donít Jim.
Now we donít have to eliminate him? You like that, donít you Claire? Donít you?
Is he serious?
Always.
Krieger can get it. Right?
I don't think you're in any position to give orders, do you? Not while I'm holding this.
Krieger.
Did we get it?
We got it. On your feet.
I want to sleep. Can I sleep here.
Walk, just walk. Start walking.
I'm walking.
Talking's good, walking's better.
Are <u>you</u> all right Ethan. What's wrong with you?
If you're gonna do this again Claire, It's not gonna be on my watch.
Sarah's reconsidering. Claire, transport in five minutes.
Ethan -- Ethan, it's okay. It's Claire. Ethan what's wrong with you?
You were in the car!
I wasn't. I heard that Jim was in trouble on the radio. He said someone was...
Shut up! I saw you. You were in the car.
No, I got out of the car and I ran to the bridge.
Don't give me that! I was on the bridge.
What happened to Jim?
There was nobody on the bridge.
They're dead. Jim's dead.
Take off your coat.
What?
Where were you?
I walked away. He said abort. He was gone so I walked away.
That was four hours ago! Who sent you? Did they send you here?
Who is "they?"
Did they send you...Did they send you?
Who sent you?! Who sent you?
Why haven't they brought us in yet?
What are you going to do?
I'm going to get it for him. Whoever the mole is, I think goes by the name of Job, at least part of the time. 1 can't find him, but if he knows 1 have the NOC list, he'll find me.
Ethan, you're not making sense. Let me go in and talk to Kittridge. I'm going to tell him you had nothing to do...
The message is for Job.
Max made a deal with you?
I deliver the NOC list, Max delivers Job.
We've got seventy-five rounds for your Glock 9, but only twenty for the Sig Sauer, one pair of Visco glasses with monitor, plenty of passports. You said it yourself -- if I'm not dead, I'm with you.
You're sure about this?
Jim was my husband. I want to know who killed him. I want to get the son of a bitch who did this.
We need help, and we don't have time. They have to be local.
May I come in?
It's cash. And a second passport. If anything goes wrong when we're inside, if you sense even the slightest deviation don't look over your shoulder, you walk away - you hear me? Just walk away.
You don't think we're going to make it.
I didn't say that.
You didn't have to.........
I just need you to be safe.
What about you?
I'm so sorry. Krieger was my call. I've never worked with him. I'm sorry, Ethan.
We did what we had to do.
Kittridge...
What are you going to do?
What happened?
I sent the message to Max. Weíre on for tomorrow.
Okay...
Is this the only way?
Ethan...Kittridge is on the train.
Kittridge is Job. Max delivered. How far is he from Luther?
Two cars. Where are you?
Ethanís right behind me. Listen to me Jim. Is it such a good idea to kill him? We take the money. Ethan takes the blame. No-one else has seen you alive. No-one will believe him.
Of course - Iím sorry to hear you say that Claire.
Claire...Hey...
This stuff is so sticky.
Claire.
Itís all right, Ethan..youíll bring me back...wonít you...
This is Kittridge.
Go ahead.
Theyíre dead.
Whoís dead?
My team. Claire, Jack, even Jim - - Hannah, maybe, I -- donít know
Are you damaged?
They knew we were coming. Golitsynís dead too. The disk is gone.
<u>Are you intact</u>?
Do you read me? <u>The list is in the open</u>!
I donít think so.
Donít <u>think</u>, be <u>sure</u>. Are you clean?
Yes.
Location green. One hour. Iíll be there myself.
Youíre in Prague?
Heard a lot about you, Hunt. Donít disappoint me.
No sir.
I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know how much Jim in particular meant to you, Ethan. Personally as well as professionally.
Passport, visas - you know the drill. We'll work the exfiltration thru Canada, debrief you at Langley. Throw the Prague police a bone, you know toss them a few suspects. Follow me?
Yeah. I follow you.
We've lost enough agents for one night.
You seem hell bent on blaming yourself, Ethan.
Who else is left?
Yes. I see your point.
Why was there another team?
What?
Of IMF agents. At the Embassy. Tonight.
I don't quite follow you.
Let's see if you can follow me around this room. The drunk Russians on the embankment at 7 and 8 o'clock...The couple waltzing around me at the Embassy at 9 and 11. The waiter behind Hannah at the top of the staircase - Bowtie, 12 o'clock. The other IMF team. You're worried about me. <u>Why</u>?
For a little over two years now we've been spotting serious blowback in IMF operations. We have a penetration. The other day we decoded a message on the Internet from a Czech we know as "Max."
The arms dealer.
That's right. Max, it seems, has two unique gifts -- a capacity for anonymity and for corrupting susceptible agents. This time he's gotten to someone on the inside - he's put himself in a position to buy our NOC list. An operation he referred to as "Job 314". The job he thought Golitsyn was doing tonight.
But the list Golitsyn stole was a decoy.
Correct the actual list is safe at Langley. "Golitsyn" was a lightning rod, one of ours.
This whole operation was a molehunt.
Since your father's death, your family's farm has been in sub-chapter S and now, suddenly, they're flush with over a hundred and twenty grand in the bank. Dad's illness was supposed to have wiped out the bank account -- dying slowly in America after all, can be a very expensive proposition Ethan. So, why don't we go quietly out of here onto the plane...
How about if we just go quietly into the bathroom and I wash your mouth out with soap - you pathetic button down bureaucratic asshole.
Ethan, I can understand you're very upset.
Kittridge.
I see you've been out visiting the folks.
Can I ask you something, Kittridge?
Certainly Ethan.
If you're dealing with someone who's crushed, stabbed, shot and detonated five members of his own IMF team, how devastated do you think you're going to make him by marching Ma and Uncle Donald down to the county courthouse?
What are we downloading?
Information.
What kind?
This doesn't sound like the Luther Stickell I've heard of. What'd they used to call you? The Net Ranger? Phineas Phreak? The only man alive who actually hacked NATO Ghostcom.
There was never any physical evidence that I had anything to do with that.. that.. With that exceptional piece of work.
You don't know what you're missing. This is the Mt. Everest of hacks.
May take a little time. That's not what Claire tells me about you.
And I get to keep the equipment when we're done.
Luther, I guess you're all out of excuses.
I can't just hack my way inside. There's no modem access to the mainframe, it's in a stand-alone. I'd have to be physically at the terminal.
Krieger <u>did</u> have the NOC list.
Now I want you to hold onto it.
What makes you trust me?
Because if you knew what you were getting into, you never would have done it.
I'm not letting this list get out in the open.
Exactly, that's your job. Tomorrow on the train, you can't let this list get out into the open. What's the range of this thing?
It's hard to tell. I'm gonna have to be close.
Reach your folks? How they feeling?
About what?
The official apology from the Justice Department, the VIP treatment, you know, the whole nine yards.
Here's to you, Luther. To being off the disavowed list.
Hey, I'm the flavour of the month!
You're more than that, Luther. They were mistaken about you and they're trying to show you they know it. They want you back in.
Sure. They want me back in so I won't break in! They <i>still</i> can't figure out how we did it.
You didn't tell 'em at the debriefing?
I figured I'd let 'em reinstate my back pay, give me a promotion, check out my office at Langley and <i>then</i>, maybe, talk about it.
It's all one big negotiation, isn't it?
Why don't you come back with me?
Just don't know why I'd be doing it.
You really liked Phelps, didn't you?
He was a good guy for a long, long time. Just - not long enough. Gotta catch my flight.. So. How's it feel being a solid citizen again?
Oh man...I don't know. I'm gonna miss being disreputable.
Who are you and what are you doing here?
I need one hundred thousand dollars.
Really? And you thought if you simply showed up I might give it to you?
Why not? You gave Job a hundred and twenty five thousand.
The penny drops. <u>You</u> are <u>not</u> Job. Yes, Job is not given to quoting Scripture in his communications. And there was its tone -- aggressive but playful. Job is not playful. So you're something of a paradox.
That depends.
On what?
Whether you like a paradox. I want a hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
It's quite out of the question.
The disk Job sold you is worthless. It's bait, part of an internal molehunt.
And how might you know that? Are you another Company man?
Like Job?
Ah, but, we're asking about you.
I'm NOC. Was. <u>Now</u> disavowed.
Why, may I ask?
That's the question I want to ask Job.
I don't know Job any more than he knows me.
Even so, I'm sure you could arrange an introduction.
Why should I?
Because I can deliver the actual NOC list. The one you have is not only worthless, it's certain to be equipped with a homing device to pinpoint your exact location.
It's easy to say the disk is worthless when you say I can't look at the information and <u>see</u> if it's worthless. Not a tenable position, sir.
Okay, boot it up and in anywhere from thirty seconds to ten minutes you're gonna have Virginia farm boys hopping around you like jackrabbits.
Mm - Hmmm...
Tell you what. How good's the RF scanner you used in the car?
Very good.
Thanks, Max. Or is it Maxine?
I don't have to tell you what a comfort anonymity can be in my profession -- like a warm blanket. My deal with Job was subject to a successful boot scan. Obviously it didn't pass muster. Deal's off.
What was your deal with Job?
Six million dollars. I'll give you the same. But I want the complete list now, not just Eastern Europe. I won't do this piecemeal, it's too dangerous. I want the <u>entire</u> list, the true name of every non-official cover agent throughout the world.
<u>Ten</u> million. Ten million in negotiable U.S. Treasury certificates, in bearer form, coupons attached. And one more thing -- your personal assurance that Job will be at the exchange.
Done. Bring it to me in London. I want it by the end of the week.
How will you make sure Job will be there?
How will you make sure I'll have the list in three days? It's been a delight. Now where can I drop you dear boy?
I'm going to have to front you personally. Don't lose that money without losing your life.
Ha, dear boy! I do hope this doesnít prelude a meeting in private.
It doesnít, dear girl. as long as you tell me where the money is.
The possibility alone is worth ten million. Baggage car, rack 3. Silver briefcase. Combination 314.
What about Job?
What sector's the air conditioning?
Uh -- twenty-one, but there's no alarm in sector twenty-one.
I gotta go in there and shut it down!
Nobody goes into any sector where the alarm didn't go off.
Wait! Hold it - it's on. Let's go.
Simple game. Four players. Exfil opens the pocket -- -- cyber ops lifts the wallet.
Bank?
IMF mainframe.
Where exactly is it?
Zero body count.
We'll see.
Merci.
You're not going to any meeting without me.
That's not it. That's not the list.
Claire.
IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR REASON WE'RE NOT OUT OF HERE YET?!
Sorry, am I interrupting?
Give me the God damn gum.
Jack. Jack.
He's got it. Saved your ass again Jack.
In position. Jack open the door, let the package roll.
Roger that. Opening doors now.
Higher. Higher.
Higher.
OK. Taking Golitsyn's exit. Jack, open the doors.
The package is in the open.
Ethan. Heís out of pocket.
Sarah eye on the package. Jim, Iím coming to you.
Jim gave an abort, we should walk away.
Would you remove your hat please?
Why?
I thought I was going to see Max.
You misunderstood. No one sees Max.
Then what am I doing here?
Allowing Max to see you and hear what you've got to say.
I don't communicate very well through a shroud.
If Max doesn't like what you have to say, you'll be wearing that shroud indefinitely.
I'm willing to take the chance.
Forty-four. Forty-five.
Yeah, well, Jim, fact is I've got more than ninety days leave coming.
A hundred and sixty-seven, I think it is. Take it all, if you want. <u>After</u> this one.
I thought I'd take some now.
What the hell's made you decide to take your leave at the worst possible time? Claire's in a weird mood too.
Oh? What's the problem?
I don't know, I had to go to Chicago again. You were in Kiev. You tell me.
Tell you what?
When you started noticing your short term memory loss. What <u>the problem was</u> you and Claire had in Kiev?
What problem?
Ah, God, forget it. What are we talking burnout here?
I guess.
Ethan, you <u>can't</u> burn out.
Why not?
How was Chicago?
You're going to use Walter?
He's our guy.
Isn't he chairing the Armed Services hearing?
Not this week. This week he's flyfishing at the Oughterard Slough in County Kildare, with one of our best Irish guides.
He won't be back in a hurry?
No, not in a hurry. What do you think? You think the plot'll work?
Sure. If the main character does.
Jack's pinned down Sarah. Should be a second. Keep dancing.
Iíve got a shadow.
Can you lose him?
Abort. Thatís an order.
Where are you?
About two hundred yards from the bridge.
..the next day I managed to drag myself to the safe house, must've just missed you..anyway, I checked our aliases.
- and picked us up in the States -
- but you left before I could get there and I could check just so many places..
Yeah, smaller countries don't computerize customs records -
- so I watched Europe. Once you showed up in England..it was easy.
You knew I liked the rentals at Liverpool Street.
Hey, I showed 'em to you!
Jim, who do you think you're kidding? A doctor's gotta look at that. You can't sit up straight.
Kitteridge. Oh my god! Kittridge is the mole?
Yeah.
..when you think about it, Ethan, it was inevitable..no more Cold War. No more secrets you keep from everyone but yourself, operations you answer to no one but yourself. Then one morning you wake up and find out the President of the United States is running the country - <i>without your permission</i>. The son-of-a- bitch! How <i>dare</i> he? You realize itís over, youíre an
We donít have to, Jim. Heíll come after us.
Whatís going to make him do that?
What he didnít get in Prague. The NOC list.
Jesus, Ethan. Good for you.
A meeting tomorrow on the TGV, enroute to Paris.
Tight security. No guns. Real plus.
Jim...?
- no. She canít know about me. No one can. Not til this is over. Thereís too much at stake, Ethan.
Youíre probably right.
I usually am.
Once we leave the safehouse, get in there and crash. Iíll call you from Paris.
You got it.
And get a doctor.
Before London. But after you took the Bible out of the Drake Hotel in Chicago.
I knew about Jim.
Tell me something Claire, that night in Prague, was it you or Jim that blew up the car and scattered Hannah all over town?
Arenít you going to thank me Jim. Ten million is better than six.
Sorry Ethan. Times up. Say goodbye.
Jim, itís over.
Look to your right, then back to me. There's a camera built right into the bridge. Whatever you see it sees and transmits it back here. Can you hear me?
Of course I can hear you.
No, in your...ear piece. You have a lovely smile . Can you hear me now?
Loud and clear.
What's going on?
I don't know.
Why don't you take a look?
Jack...that's spying.
That's what we do isn't it?
Jack you're so wicked.
Too wicked to have a drink later?
Such a nice ass.
Twenty-six, twenty-seven. So far so good.
Thirty-two and change.
How long until we reach the Chunnel?
Yes... Itís him.
Whatís the problem.
Connection denied.
Try it again.
Itís not working.
Is something wrong with the phone? Well is something wrong with the batteries?
I always check the batteries.
Itís working.
Oh, you're not going. You're staying.
No, I'm going.
The Shawfish?
Just across the bay, at the fuel depot. The men wanted to try to get home. I can't explain.
Then, I suppose the time has come say it's been nice Dwight Lionel. It's been everything. Oh, Dwight, I'm frightened.
Are you ready?
Hello, Bobo. How are you tonight?
Very good, Mr. Johnny.
We will both have the Salad Ticino.
Uh-huh
No, I want to see the dessert cart.
I forgot to bring the champagne, Mr. Johnny.
Who's dead?
Nobody. Loretta is getting married.
I don't like him.
I have no money!
I won't pay for nothing.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Well, what do you wanna talk about!
Rita. Pass the wine.
Where you been?
Cosmo?
What?
I just want you to know. No matter what you do. You are going to die, just like everybody else.
Thank you, Rose.
You're welcome.
Cosmo, this is Ronny, Johnny's brother.
Have I been a good wife?
Yes.
Okay.
And go to confession.
A man... under stands one day... that his life is built on nothing. And that's a bad, crazy day.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Johnny Cammareri. I think it's great and about time. What's she gonna do with the rest of her life she don't get married?
Rose, pass the wine.
I never seen anybody so in love like Cosmo back then! He'd stand outside the house all day and look in the windows. I never told you this cause it's not really a story. But one time I woke up in the middle of the night cause this bright light was in my face. Like a flashlight. I couldn't think a what it was.
You were altogether asleep. You were dreaming.
Hi. Hi.
I have my eyes open.
You do, huh? Stick around. Don't go on any long trips.
I don't know what you mean.
I know you don't. That's the point. I'll say no more.
You haven't said anything.
Where's Ma?
Bed.
You're not sleepy?
I can't sleep anymore. It's too much like death.
Here. Ti amo.
Ti amo.
You look tired.
What's your news?
I'm getting married.
Again?
Yeah.
You did this once it didn't work out.
The guy died.
What killed him?
He got hit by a bus.
No! Bad luck! Your Ma and I been married fifty-two years an nobody died. You were married, what, two years, and somebody is dead. Don't get married again, Loretta. It don't work out for you. Who's the man?
Johnny Cammareri.
Him? He's a big baby. Why isn't he here with you telling me?
He's flying to Sicily. His mother's dying.
More Bad Luck! I don't like his face, Loretta. I don't like his lips. When he smiles I can't see his teeth. When will you do it?
In a month.
I won't come.
You've got to come. You've got to give me away.
I didn't give you away the first time.
And maybe that's why I had the Bad Luck. Maybe if you gave me away, and I got married in a church, in a wedding dress, instead of at the City Hall with strangers standing outside the door, maybe then I wouldn't had the Bad Luck I had.
Maybe.
I didn't have no wedding cake, no reception or nothing. Johnny got down on his knees and proposed to me at The Grand Ticino.
He did?
Yeah.
Here.
It looks stupid. It's a pinky ring. It's a man's ring.
It's temporary.
Everything is temporary. That don't excuse nothing.
So you'll come to the wedding, right?
Mona?
What'd you do to your hair?
I got it done.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Who is this man? You're engaged!
You're married.
You're my daughter. I won't have you acting like a tramp!
You're my father.
Alright. I didn't see you here.
And then there is copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. But it costs money because it saves money.
And what did they say?
The man understood me. The woman wanted to be cheap, but the man saw that I was right.
You have such a head for knowing. You know everything.
Oh, Cosmo!
You haven't once said you like my dress.
Why you looking around so much?
I don't know. I got a feeling.
It's wrong to just let them go.
What do you want me to do? Pick up after five dogs? I'm eighty-three years old. God in his heaven understands that I cannot pick up after five dogs.
I won't have to shoot those dogs. They will kill each other.
At dinner, my daughter-in-law threatened to kill me. Things are very bad in my house.
We're supposed to do fifty apples. We only got twelve done.
Yes!
Yeah, this is Ronny.
Why didn't he call himself?
He's in Palermo.
What's wrong can never be made right.
Have you come from my brother?
Yes.
Why?
I'm going to marry him.
You are going to marry my brother?
Yes. Do you want...
I have no life.
Excuse me.
I have no life. My brother Johnny took my life from me.
Gimme the big knife! I'm gonna cut my throat!
Maybe I should come back another time.
It's wood. It's fake. Five years ago I was engaged to be married. Johnny came in here, he ordered bread from me. I put it in the slicer and I talked with him and my hand got caught cause I wasn't paying attention. The slicer chewed off my hand. It's funny 'cause - when my fiancé saw that I was maimed, she left me
That's the bad blood between you and Johnny?
That's it.
But that wasn't Johnny's fault.
Loretta. What's that smell?
I'm making you a steak.
You don't have to help me.
I know that. I do what I want.
I like it well done.
This is good. Uhh...
Loretta.
Where'd Johnny find you?
He knew my husband who died.
How'd he die?
Bus hit him.
Fast.
Instantaneous.
When you get engaged?
Why?
Why what?
I don't know.
So. Five years ago your hand got cut off and your woman left you for another man. No woman since then?
No.
Stupid.
When your husband get hit by the bus?
Seven years ago.
How many men since then?
Just Johnny.
Stupid yourself.
No. Unlucky. I have not been lucky.
I don't care about Luck, you understand me? It ain't that.
What? Do you think you're the only one ever shed a tear?
Why you talking to me?
She was right to leave me.
You think so?
Yes.
You don't know nothing about it.
I was raised that a girl gets married young. I didn't get married until I was twenty-eight. I met a man. I loved him. I married him. He wanted to have a baby right away. I said no. Then he got hit by a bus. No man. No baby. No nothing! I did not know that man was a gift I could not keep.
I'm a wolf?
The big part of you has no words and it's-a wolf. This woman was a trap for you. She caught you and you could not get away. So you chewed off your foot! That was the price you had to pay to be free. Johnny had nothing to do with it. You did what you had to do, between you and you, and I
What are you doing!
I'm telling you your life!
Stop it!
No!
Why are you marrying Johnny? He's a fool!
Because I have no Luck!
He made me look the wrong way and I cut off my hand. He could make you look the wrong way and you could cut off your whole head!
I am looking where I should to become a bride!
A bride without a head!
Son of a bitch!
Where are you taking me?
To the bed.
I can't believe what is happening.
Me neither.
I was dead.
Your blood.
All my life I have never reached a man. I knew that I would reach my husband, but I took my time and he was dead. Ronny.
Loretta.
I want to cut you open and crawl inside of you. I want you to swallow me.
I've got you.
Get all of me. Take everything.
What about Johnny?
You're mad at him, take it out on me, take your revenge on me! Take everything, leave nothing for him to marry! Hollow me out so there's nothing left but the skin over my bones. Suck me dry!
What?
That light.
It's so bright.
I've never seen a moon like that.
Oh my God.
What? What have we done?
Take it easy.
This time I was trying to do everything right.
Don't just become excited.
I thought if I stayed away from the City Hall, I won't have that Bad Luck I had again.
You're trying to make me feel guilty.
I'm marrying your brother!
All right, I'm guilty. I confess!
You're invited to the wedding! It's in a few weeks. Why didn't you do like him and be with your dying mother in Palermo?
She didn't like me.
You don't get along with anybody!
What did you do?
What did I do?
You ruined my life.
That's impossible! It was ruint when I got here! You ruint my life!
Oh yes, oh yes you did! You've got those bad eyes like a gypsy! Why didn't I see it yesterday! Bad Luck! Is that all I'm ever gonna have? Why didn't I just pick up a stone and kill myself years and years ago? I'm gonna marry him!
What?
Last night never happened, you hear me? I'm gonna marry him anyway and last night never happened, and you and I are gonna take this to our coffins!
I can't do that!
Why not?
Snap out of it!
I can't!
Alright. Then I must never see you again. The bad blood will have to stay there between you and Johnny for all time. You won't come to the wedding.
I'll come to the wedding.
I'm telling you you can't.
But he wants me to come!
But that's cause he don't know!
Alright. I will not come. Provided one thing.
What?
That you come with me tonight. Once. To the Opera.
What are you talking about?
I love two things. I love you, and I love the Opera. If I can have the two things that I love together for one night, I will be satisfied to give up the rest of my life.
Alright.
Alright. Meet me at the Met.
Hi.
Hi.
You look beautiful. Your hair...
I thought I'd try it. You look good.
Who painted that?
Marc Chagall. A Russian.
Kinda gaudy.
Thank you!
For what?
So. Where are we sitting?
They get some turnout for this stuff.
It's the best thing there is.
That was just so... awful!
Awful?
Beautiful. Sad. She died!
Yeah.
No thanks.
What do you want to do now?
It's really cold.
What's the matter?
How can you ask me that?
You're making me feel guilty again.
You are guilty. I'm guilty.
Of what? Only God can point the finger, Loretta.
I know what I know.
And what do you know? You tell me my life? I'll tell you yours. I'm a wolf? You run to the wolf in me, that don't make you no lamb! You're gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. You waited for the right man
He didn't come!
I'm here!
You're late!
This is your place.
That's right.
This is where we're going!
Yeah.
I went with you. Now I'm gonna marry Johnny and you're gonna leave me alone. Right? A person can see where they've messed up in their life, and they can change how they do things, and they can change their Luck. Maybe my nature does draw me to you, but I don't haveta go with that. I can take hold of myself and say
Yeah.
I'm really afraid.
Why?
I'm afraid of who I am.
I was.
Why not?
I don't know. Everything seems like nothing now against that I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The Past and Future is a joke to me now. I see that they're nothing, I see they ain't here. The only thing that's here is you. And me. I want you
Let me go home.
No.
Let me go home.
No.
I'm freezing to death.
Ronny!
Is Johnny here?
He's coming.
You've gotta get outta here.
No. I'm gonna wait.
No, I'll tell him.
What the hell are you talking about? We're engaged.
Loretta, what are you talking about?
Loretta?
What!
Will you marry me, Loretta Castorini Clark?
I got things to do.
Sure you do. You got all that wedding stuff.
What's the matter? You look crazy.
Bye, Aunt Rita.
Bye, bye, honey. See you tomorrow?
Hi Loretta.
Is there anything you want to tell us, honey?
It's Johnny Cammareri.
You don't want the fish.
No?
It's the oily fish tonight. Not before the plane ride.
Maybe you're right.
A man who can't control his woman is funny.
You never have dessert.
What's the matter?
Have Something.
I shouldn't.
Will you marry me?
What?
Will you marry me?
Are you proposing marriage to me?
Yes?
You know I was married and that my husband died. But what you don't know is I think he and I had Bad Luck.
What do you mean?
We got married at the City Hall and I think it gave bad luck the whole marriage.
I don't understand.
Right from the start we didn't do it right. Could you kneel down?
On the floor?
Yes, on the floor.
This is a good suit.
I helped you buy it. It came with two pairs of pants. It's for luck, Johnny. When you propose marriage to a woman, you should kneel down.
I like this ring.
What time is it?
Seven-thirty.
What about the wedding?
My mother is dying. When she is dead, I'll come back and we'll be married.
How near is she to death?
A week. Two weeks. No more.
Then let's set the date.
How about a month from today?
Must it be so definite? Can't we just say that we will be married when I get back?
Where? At the City Hall? No! I want the whole wedding or we will have Bad Luck. For a whole wedding to be planned, a date must be set.
Alright. A month. In a month.
A month from today?
Yeah.
I'll call you when I get to Mama's house.
There's one thing about this wedding I want you to do. Call this number. It's a business number. Ask for Ronny. Invite him to the wedding.
Who is he?
He's my younger brother.
You have a brother?
We haven't spoken in five years. There was some bad blood. I want you to call him and invite him to the wedding. Will you do it?
Ssh, it's me. I'm calling from the deathbed of my mother.
How was your plane ride?
Have you told her we're getting married?
I don't know. But Johnny, how did your mother recover? She was dying.
We should talk alone.
I can't. I need my family around me now.
Johnny, I have something to tell you.
I have something to tell you. But I must talk to you alone.
I have no secrets from my family.
Loretta, I can't marry you.
WHAT?
And you're a big liar! I've got your ring here!
In time, you will see that this is the best thing.
What?
No.
Good. When you love them they drive you crazy cause they know they can. But you like him?
Oh yeah. He's a sweet man. I wanna have a big church wedding, Ma. And a reception.
And who's gonna pay for that?
Will you live here?
No.
Why not?
So we'll sell the house.
Grandma was still alive. Chiro was still home going to school. Now he's married and gone to Florida. If you and Johnny moved in, had a baby...
I'm thirty-seven years old.
What's thirty-seven? I had Chiro after I was thirty-seven. It ain't over till it's over.
Johnny has a big apartment. We'll live there.
And we'll sell the house.
I'd like to stay, Ma. I love the house. But Pop don't like Johnny.
How's the mother?
She's dying. But I could still hear her big mouth.
Did he tell her?
Hi.
Where you been?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Just like your father. I lied to him. He thinks you came home last night.
Thanks. What's the matter with you?
Cosmo's cheating on me.
What! How do you know?
A wife knows.
What the hell happened to you?
Well. I don't really know where to start.
Your hair's different.
Everything's different.
Are you drunk?
No. Are you drunk?
No. But I have a hangover.
Where's pop?
What? He's in Sicily!
No more he's not.
He's with his dying mother!
She recovered.
WHAT!! She was dying!
It was a miracle.
A miracle? This is modern times! There ain't supposed to be miracles any more!
Do you love him, Loretta?
Yeah, Ma, I love him awful.
Hi.
Hey there ...YOU WITH THE STARS IN YOUR EYES...
What about the moon?
Did you see it?
No.
Oh.
Listen, I gotta go. I'll take the deposit to the bank but I'll do the books tomorrow. I gotta go.
Hi, Loretta.
We just come from the bank.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been two months since my last confession.
What sins have you to confess?
Twice I took the name of God in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancé, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store -- but that was really an accident.
Then it was not a sin. But what was that second thing you said, Loretta?
I... a... slept with my fiancé's brother.
That's a pretty big sin.
I know.
You should think about this.
I know.
Alright. This is your penance. Say two rosaries and... be careful, Loretta. Reflect on your life.
Alright.
Lucy. There are big things going on in my house. My granddaughter Loretta, the only daughter of my son Cosmo, has engaged herself to be married a second time.
I have heard that Johnny Cammareri got down on his knees in The Grand Ticino and proposed to her.
Don't fight.
My granddaughter wants my son to pay for the wedding. But he does not want to pay.
He should pay.
I don't know.
He owes her a wedding from the first time when there was none.
Don't fight.
Don't make yourself sick.
Cosmo drank five glasses of wine at dinner.
Talk to him.
I will. But I must find the right moment.
Moving in?
I came right from the airport.
Can you wake up Loretta? I need to talk to her.
So.
Where is she?
Out. I don't know where. I was waiting up for my husband.
It's late.
Maybe I should go?
What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Palermo.
That's what I came to tell Loretta. There's been a miracle.
A miracle. Well, that's news.
My mother's recovered.
You're kidding?
The breath had almost totally left her body. She was as white as snow. And then she completely pulled back from death and stood up and put on her clothes and began to cook for everyone in the house. The mourners. And me. And herself! She ate a meal that would choke a pig!
That's incredible.
Who was that?
That was my father-in-law, who has a wrong idea in his head. Listen, Johnny, there's a question I want to ask you. And I want you to tell me the truth if you can. Why do men chase women?
Well. There's the Bible story. God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When God took the rib, he left a hole there, place where there used to be something. and the women have that. Maybe a man isn't complete as a man without a woman.
But why would a man need more than one woman?
That's it! That's the reason!
I don't know.
He doesn't like you. Thank you for answering my question.
You don't know where Loretta is?
No idea.
Then tell her I'll come by in the morning. We need to talk.
Loretta...
Johnny...
Ronny! Our mother has recovered from death!
Good.
Have you come to make peace with me?
Well. Yeah. You may not want to.
I'm sure she did.
Because my mother was dying! But now she's not.
You're forty-two years old, Johnny, and Mama is still running your life.
Yes?
Could you do away with her dinner, and any evidence of her, and bring me an big glass of vodka?
Can I get another one of these?
May I presume to ask you a question?
Sure!
Do you have a girlfriend?
When I was twenty-seven years old, in Jersey City, I asked a woman to marry me. She had red hair. She smelled a jasmine. She wore black shoes with pointy white tips.
What happened?
Don't mind about me. But could you do me a favor and clear her place and take away all evidence of her, and bring me a big glass of vodka?
Thanks, comrade.
I'm sorry if we disturbed you.
I'm not disturbed. By you.
My lady friend has a personality disorder.
Ouch. Too young! I just got that. You know how to hurt guy. How old are you?
Sorry. That was rude.
Will you join me for dinner?
Then I'd be delighted. I hate eating alone, and it's amazing how often I end up doing just that.
What do you do?
I'm a professor. I teach communications at N.Y.U.
That woman was a student of yours?
Sheila? Yes she was. Is. Was.
There's old saying my mother told me. Would you like to hear it?
Yes.
Don't shit where you eat.
I'll remember that. What do you do?
I'm a housewife.
Then why are you eating alone?
I'm not eating alone. Can I ask you a question?
Go ahead.
Why do men chase women?
Nerves.
I think it's because they fear death.
Maybe. Listen. You wanna know why I chase women? I find women charming.
I teach these classes I've taught for a million years. The spontaneity went out of it for me a long time ago. I started off, I was excited about something and I wanted to share it. Now it's rote, it's the multiplication table. Except sometimes. Sometimes I'm droning along and I look up, and there's this fresh young beautiful face, and it's all new
May I walk with you a ways?
You knew that man?
Temperature's dropping.
Yes.
I guess you can't invite me in?
No.
People home.
No. I think the house is empty. I can't invite you in because I'm married and because I know who I am. You're shaking.
I'm a little cold.
You're a little boy and you like to be bad.
We could go to my apartment. You could see how the other half lives.
I'm too old for you.
I'm too old for me. That's my predicament.
Good night. Can I kiss you on the cheek, too?
I'm freezing
That's my house.
You mean the whole house?
Yes.
My God, it's a mansion!
It's a house.
I live in a one-bedroom apartment. What exactly does your husband do?
He's a plumber.
Cosmo. Many years ago, when they told me you were marrying my sister, I was happy. When I told Rose I was marrying Rita, she was happy.
Rita. Rita.
What? What?
Look.
Oh.
It's Cosmo's moon.
What are you talking about, Raymond? Cosmo can't own the moon.
I mean it's that moon I was talking about at dinner. Is he down there? No.
Is who down there?
Cosmo.
What would he be doing down there?
I don't know.
I feel great I got no sleep but I feel like Orlando Furioso!
You were a tiger last night.
And you were a lamb. As soft as milk.
Shut up. They'll hear you in the back.
So what? The pleasure of marriage is you sleep with the woman and then you don't worry about nothing. Hey, how about a date tonight, Rita. Let's eat pasta and roll around.
Raymond, Raymond, lower your voice! What's got into you?
You got me.
What are you talking about, you fool? Her fiancé's in Palermo.
She's got it.
We didn't know what to think. You were so weird yesterday, and then this morning, we go to the bank and no bag.
How do you know she is a witch?
She looks like one. Yes, she does.
A witch, a witch, burn her!
Burn her anyway.
There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?
Tell me ... what do you do with witches?
Burn them.
I see. Yes, of course.
Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ...
Does wood sink in water?
No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond Tie weights on her. To the pond.
Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?
Halt! Who goes there?
Get away!
I am... And this my trusty servant, Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join our court at Camelot.. I must speak with your lord and master.
What? Ridden on a horse?
Yes!
You're using coconuts!
...What?
You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together.
So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea.
Where did you get the coconuts?
Through ... We found them.
Found them? In Mercea. The coconut's tropical!
What do you mean?
Well, this is a temperate zone.
The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Not at all. They could be carried.
It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple matter of weight - ratios ... A five-ounce bird could not hold a a one pound coconut.
Look! To maintain Velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings four hundred and ninety three times every second. right?
Please!
Am I right?
Where does he live? Old man ... where does he live ...
He knows of a cave ... a cave which no man has entered.
There is much danger ... for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril which no man has ever crossed.
But the Grail ... where is the Grail!?
Seek you the Bridge of Death ...
Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here ... Oh! how d'you do?
How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, King of the Britons ... can you tell me who lives in that castle?
King of the WHO?
The Britons.
Who are the Britons?
Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle?
No one live there.
Well, who is your lord?
We don't have a lord.
Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
I am your king!
Well, I didn't vote for you.
You don't vote for kings.
Well, how did you become king, then?
The same!
Who are they?
Knights Who Say "Ni" ... we are but simple travellers. We seek the Enchanter who lives beyond this wood and who ...
NI!
Oh!
NI! NI!
Oh!
We shall say Ni! again to you if you do not appease us.
All right! What do you want?
We want ... a shrubbery!
A what?
All right! All right! ... No more, please. We will find you a shrubbery ...
You must return here with a shrubbery or else ... you shall not pass through this wood alive!
Thanks you, Knights Who Say Ni! You are fair and just. We will return with a shrubbery.
One that looks nice.
Of course.
And not too expensive.
Yes ...
Oh, Knights of Ni, here is your shrubbery. May we go now?
That is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly - But there is one small problem.
What is that?
We shall do no such thing ... let us pass!
Oh, please!
What word?
I cannot tell you. Suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni! cannot hear!
How can we not say the word, if you don't tell us what it is?
You said it again!
What, "is"?
None shall pass.
What?
None shall pass.
I have no quarrel with you, brave Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.
Then you shall die.
I command you, as King of the Britons to stand aside.
I move for no man.
Now stand aside worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch? Your arm's off.
No, it isn't.
Well, what's that then?
I've had worse.
You're a liar.
Victory is mine. I thank thee O Lord that in thy ...
Come on then.
You are indeed brave Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Had enough?
You stupid bastard. You havn't got any arms left.
Course I have.
Look!
What! Just a flesh wound.
Stop that.
Had enough ... ?
I'll do you for that.
You'll what ... ?
Come Here.
What are you going to do. bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a looney.
All right, we'll call it a draw.
Hello.
'Allo. Whoo is eet?
I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
This is the castle of of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
Are you sure he's got one?
Oh yes. It's very nice + + CUT TO BATTLEMENTS. THE TAUNTER turns to some others. + + MAN + I told him we already got one. + + They all giggle. +
Well ... can we come up and have a look?
Of course not! You are English pigs.
Well, what are you then?
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot, and join our number at the Round Table?
What is your name?
Bedevere, my Liege.
And that, my lord, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.
This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
Now what happens?
Well now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall and then leap out of the rabbit and take the French by surprise, not only by surprise but totally unarmed!
Who ... Who breaks out?
Who are you? TALL KNIGHT We are the Knights Who Say "Ni"!
Nu!
No. Ni! More like this. "Ni"!
Ni, ni, ni!
| It's not working. You're not doing it properly. Ni!
Ni!
Ni!
They're nervous, sire.
What with?
There! Look!
What?
What?
We shall attack at once.
Who are they?
What manner of man are you that can conjure up fire without flint or tinder?
By what name are you known?
There are some who call me Tim?
Greetings Tim the Enchanter!
Greetings King Arthur.
You know my name?
I do. You seek the Holy Grail.
That is our quest. You know much that is hidden O Tim.
What?
A G...g...g...
Look, you're a busy man ...
... make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.
How shall we find this cave, O Tim?
Too late.
What?
Where?
There.
Behind the rabbit?
It is the rabbit.
... You silly sod.
What?
Je...sus Christ!
Oh, shut up.
It's always the same ... if I've said it once.
Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Old woman!
Man!
Man. I'm sorry. Old man, What knight live in that castle over there?
I'm thirty-seven.
:I'm thirty-seven ... I'm not old.
Well you could say: "Dennis"
I didn't know you were called Dennis.
You didn't bother to find out, did you?
I've said I'm sorry about the old woman, but from the behind you looked ...
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior ...
Well ... I AM king.
I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
Yes.
... But all the decision of that officer ...
Yes, I see.
... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.
Be quiet!
... but a two-thirds majority ...
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Shut up!
I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would put me away!
Shut up, will you. Shut up!
Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.
Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Bloody peasant!
Oh, Did you hear that! What a give-away.
Sorry ...
And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's sorry this and forgive me that and I'm not worthy and ... What are you doing now?
I'm averting my eyes, Lord.
Well, don't. | I really don't know where all this got started. It's like those miserable psalms. they're so depressing. Now knock it of
Yes, Lord.
Right. Arthur, King of the Britons, you're Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times ...
Good idea, O Lord!
Well?
... Well, we did do the nose.
The nose?
... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart.
Make a bridge out of her.
Exactly. So... logically ...
If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood.
Nothing... There's your ninepence.
He will be soon. He's very ill.
I'm getting better!
I feel fine.
I think I'll go for a walk.
You're not fooling anyone you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
Who approaches the Bridge of Death Must answer me These questions three! Ere the other side he see.
Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
What is your name?
My name is Sir Launcelot.
What is your quest?
To find the Holy Grail.
What is your favorite colour?
Blue.
That's easy!
Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death Must answer me These questions three! Ere the other side he see!
Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
What is your name?
My name is Sir Robin of Camelot!
What is your quest?
To seek the Grail!
What is the capital of Assyria?
Bring out your dead!
Here's one!
'Ere. He says he's not dead.
Don't be such a baby.
I can't.
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes. He won't be long.
I promised I'd be at the Robinson's. They've lost nine today.
When's your next round?
Thanks very much.
Who's that then?
I dunno, Must be a king.
Why?
Well taken, Concorde!
Thank you, sir, most kind ...
At last! A call! A cry of distress ... Concorde! Brave, Concorde ... you shall not have died in vain!
I'm not quite dead, sir ...
Oh, well ... er brave Concorde! You shall not have been fatally wounded in vain!
I think I could pull through, sir.
I think I'll be all right to come with you, sir.
I will send help, brave friend, as soon as I have accomplished this most daring, desperate adventure in this genre.
Really, I feel fine, sir.
Farewell, Concorde!
Did you kill all those guards?
Yes ... I'm very sorry ...
They cost fifty pounds each!
You killed eight wedding guests in all!
Er, Well ... the thing is ... I thought your son was a lady.
Oh dear, I didn't really mean to...
Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!
Gosh - Is he all right?
You even kicked the bride in the chest! It's going to cost me a fortune!
I can explain ... I was in the forest ... riding north from Camelot ... when I got this note.
'Mm ... very nice castle, Camelot ... very good pig country....
Do you want to come and have a drink?
It's just that when I'm in this genre, I tend to get over-excited and start to leap around and wave my sword about ... and ...
One day, lad, all this will be yours ...
What - the curtains?
No! Not the curtains, lad ... All that ... all that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys ... as far as the eye can see and beyond ... that'll be your kingdom, lad.
But, Mother ...
Father, lad.
But, Father, I don't really want any of that.
Listen, lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing. All I had when I started was swamp ... other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same ... just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So I built a another one ... that sank into the swamp. I built another one
But I don't want any of that, I'd rather ...
Rather what?
I'd rather ... just ... sing ...
I don't want land.
Listen, Alice ...
Herbert.
Herbert ... We built this castle on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get.
But I don't like her.
Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful ... she's rich ... she's got huge tracts of land ...
But, Father.
Who are you?
I'm ... your son ...
Hurry, brave Sir Launcelot!
You fell out of the Tall Tower you creep!
I was saved at the last minute.
How?
Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
Not ... to leave the room ... even if you come and get him.
No ... You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
Leaving the room.
Leaving the room ... yes.
Er ... if ... we ... er ...
Yes?
If we ... er ...
Oh, I remember ... can he ... er ... can he leave the room with us?
No .... keep him in here ... and make sure he doesn't ...
Oh, yes! we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave and we were with him.
No ... just keep him in here.
Until you, or anyone else ...
No, not anyone else - just me.
Right.
Okay. Fine. We'll remain here until you get back.
And make sure he doesn't leave.
What?
Make sure he doesn't leave.
The Prince ... ?
Yes ... make sure ...
Oh yes, of course! I thought you meant him! You know it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard ...
Where are you going?
We're coming with you.
No, I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room until I get back.
The Castle Anthrax?
Yes. It's not a very good name, is it? But we are nice and we shall attend to your every ... every need!
Er ... + You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
Well, look er, I ...
What is your name, handsome knight?
Er ... Sir Galahad... the Chaste.
Well Look, I'm afraid I really ought to be ...
Well ...
We are just not used to handsome knights ... But you are wounded!
No, It's nothing!
Camelot ...
Sir Galahad!
Oh ... hello ...
Quick!
Why?
Well, she's got a point.
We'll cover your escape!
Come Sir Galahad, quickly!
We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
I don't think I was.
You were, Sir Galahad, You were in terrible peril.
Look, let me go back in there and face the peril?
Look, it's my duty as a knight to try and sample as much peril as I can.
Oh, let me go and have a bit of peril?
No. It's unhealthy.
... I Bet you're gay.
Sir Gawain.
Well, what seems to be the trouble?
No look, really, this isn't nescess ...
We must examine you.
There's nothing wrong with ... that.
No, no, this cannot be. I am sworn to chastity!
Back to your bed! At once!
Oh, fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot, from the Court of Camelot. I have come to take you ... away ... I'm terribly sorry ...
You got my note!
Well ... yes ...
You've come to rescue me?
Well ... yes ... but I hadn't realised ...
I'm ... er ... Sir Launcelot, sir.
He's come to rescue me, father.
Hurry!
When you have found the shrubbery, place the shrubbery here, beside this shrubbery ... only slightly higher, so you get a two-level effect with a path through the middle.
When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest ... with a herring.
Oh!
Stop saying the word!
They're all saying the word ...
Stop saying it. AAAArghh! ... I've said it ...
You tit. I soiled my armour I was so scared!
| You turd! + Mangy scots git!
Look. I'm warning you.
What's he do? Nibble your bum?
I done it again.
Er, That's ... That's enough music for a while, lads. It Looks as though like there's dirty work afoot.
Brave, Sir Rob ...
He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who ...
Brave Sir Robin ran away.
I didn't.
Bravely ran away, away.
No, no, no.
So?
So, there are rules. Things you do and things you don't do.
I was just telling the woman how I feel, for God's sake.
You don't tell Her Majesty how you feel.
I speak as I find, Archie.
So what did Ponsonby do when she started shouting?
How much?
Seventy a year.
Not bad, not bad.
How about yourself?
Sixty.
Prince Leopold? Is he the one who bleeds all day? So what does his valet do? Wash his poultices for him?
It's better than shovelling horse shit.
If you were looking for promotion, you should have picked one of the healthier ones.
She's hardly a full hamper herself.
It's only grief makes her like she is.
Three years, John. Is that not a bit long to be grieving?
She loved him.
Come on, man. There's love and there's ...
What?
You know what I mean.
I'm not sure I do, Archie.
Which one of us is she flirting with?
The good-looking one.
Aye? Then she's obviously not got enough to do.
One box of biscuits, one box of drop tablets, one box of pralines, sixteen chocolate sponges. It's the same order every week, but does anybody bother to check it? Now she has to travel all the way to Balmoral without the few luxuries she actually enjoys.
So? Someone'll send it on ahead.
Aye, but will they?
John, it's not your problem what she eats.
She's got an army of people to get her up and out.
She'll blow hot and cold on you, John, she always does. You want to be careful.
And she sent no word down?
They said you were drunk. Why don't you tell her the truth?
What are you doing?!
I'm getting dressed.
You've got three broken ribs, man!
I've got my duties to attend to.
Don't be an idiot! You're in no fit state to go anywhere.
She'll be worried about me.
She'll get over it.
I can't let her down now, Archie.
And when was the last time she put herself out for you? Look, John, whatever she says to you now, in the end you're still a servant.
Oh, I'm much more than that.
Aye, she may say that to you, but the woman can say what she wants.
You watch your tongue.
Come on, man, I'm telling you what you already know.
You know nothing about her!
My lips may give a message better of Christmas love than e'en this letter. To my best friend, J.B. from his best friend, V.R. Best friend!
Aye.
She'll drop you. When she's done with you, she'll drop you.
What's this?
It's a diary.
Be careful who sees it.
You should have someone look after you.
The place is a mess.
I can't move to tidy.
It's what the maids are for.
Won't you give yourself a rest, John? She's other people to look out for her.
What's your name?
Mary Taylor, sir.
Have I seen you up in Balmoral, Mary?
I hope to go up next year.
Checked and locked, sir.
Louder, girl!
Checked and locked, sir.
Hey, Barney.
Mr Brown, sir --
Yeah, there's a good girl. Have you had a look at this hoof? She was limping badly. I think there might be a stone in it.
Yeah, yeah, I did.
Good man. And is she all right?
Yeah.
Good. She's a good girl. Aren't you? Yeah, she's a lovely girl. And you know the Queen's riding tomorrow?
Yeah.
Mr Disraeli. Ma'am.
Your Royal Highness. What a pleasure to see you here.
Have you met Mr Lyle? He's in sugar...?
No doubt you've heard the rumors.
I take no account of gossip, Your Highness.
My concern is for the reputation of the Monarchy.
Of course.
I fear the influence he has on her. The man's word is not to be credited. He is an arriviste of the very lowest water. She's having a bust cast of him. In Nero Marquino marble.
I see.
I would talk to her myself, but she won't listen to me. She must be persuaded, by someone she respects, to abandon this ridiculous favoritism before a situation develops.
A situation?
I don't imagine you frequent the Republican Clubs. But the fact that neither you nor I are members should not blind us to the significance of their existence. The Tory Party has always been our party.
I'm flattered you think so.
I tell you, if we don't stick together on this, you could find yourself First President's Opposition. Du Royaum Uni.
It's the Queen's decision.
I wish to see my mother.
She's busy.
Convey her a message.
She's away to Windsor tomorrow. Talk to her there.
Tell her the Prince of Wales wishes to speak with her urgently about matters concerning the press.
What did you say?
I said, are you deaf as well as stupid?
Do you know who you address, sir?
Whom you address.
Well, everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Gesture?
I thought, a dinner for our ambassadors perhaps?
No dinners, Bertie. Why are you dressed for outdoors?
It's so infernally cold in here.
Mother....
If it is inconvenient to Her Majesty, then perhaps she might consider allowing the Prince of Wales to host--
Surely it is for the gentlemen to decide when to stop...
It is a disgusting habit, Bertie. It should be discouraged.
Yes, but isn't midnight a little excessive?
It is quite late enough.
But mama, the room was built expressly for that purpose. It has been a smoking-room by tradition ever since father --
Brown's responsibilities are onerous enough already. He has far too much to do without having to stay up all night waiting for you to go to bed. The smoking-room will be closed and the lights put out at twelve o'clock.
Mama...
And that is my last word on the matter.
Mr. Carter, the Head Butler, sits there.
Not now he doesn't. This is my place.
By whose authority?
The order of seating at the Upper Servant's table is arranged personally by the Queen herself.
What happens to John Brown is his business, but the Queen's security will never be compromised!
We --
Checked and locked, sir.
Her Majesty's routine at Osborne House is not as you will remember it. The Household remains in full mourning and no-one is permitted to raise their voice under any circumstances whatsoever. As for the Queen's routine, she breakfasts at nine thirty, lunches at two,takes tea at five thirty and dinner at eight forty five. No one is allowed to leave the building while the
How will I know?
I'm sorry?
How will I know what she requires?
You'll be sent a message.
Who'll bring it to me?
Her Highness' Equerry.
I need a man who knows where I am.
I'm sure it won't be difficult to find you.
Then we'll have to see what can be arranged.
There is to be no communication with other members of the household on matters concerning the court except through myself or one of the Equerries. No plans must be altered unless you are given prior authority by myself or a senior member of the household.
I came down at the Queen's request. I'll take my orders from her.
Do you?
Awaiting my orders.
You do not report for duty unless the Queen requests it. You know that very well.
I didn't come all this way to sit on my arse.
You will await your orders like everyone else. Unless you prefer a repeat of yesterday's little excitement.
No.
I thought I made myself perfectly clear. You do not leave your room until Her Majesty requests it.
Go inside at once.
Is that the Queen's request?
She'll be away on Friday between eight o'clock and six in the evening to visit the Grants in Glasalt. If she's to make the journey there and back in the day she's to have no distractions the night before. She'll take a light supper alone in her private drawing room and retire early.
She'll need to sign dispatches before she retires.
That can wait till the weekend.
There are important papers from --
If I find out that you had anything to do with this, I will have you sacked.
I believe that decision rests with Her Majesty.
Don't think I can't persuade her.
I don't doubt that the Queen was highly amused. She has always had a very healthy sense of humor.
This is a slur on her good name.
In as much as the article is about yourself, I think you must now accept that the public has a right to its interest in you.
Nobody has any rights over me.
The Queen will be riding to St. George's on the fifth.
What brings you here?
What do you know about the Highlands?
I am a blank sheet.
Do you hunt?
Occasionally.
Dare say you can be taught.
To shoot perhaps, but not to kill.
Always remember, you keep it tight to your shoulder, you absorb the kick. Aim for the head. Then imagine it's Gladstone.
You sent for me.
Princes and Lords are but the breath of kings, An honest man's the noblest work of God. You must miss such magnificent views.
Forgive me, I've called you out and you should have been resting.
I'm fine.
You're injured.
It's nothing.
Still, someone must attend you. Your wife should not have let you out.
I'm not married.
Oh.
The look on their faces when one walks into the room. Still gives one a ridiculous thrill.
I wouldn't know.
Surely --
What I do, I do for my Queen.
Was there never ambition?
Maybe, once.
Then I envy yo.
Why?
To have achieved one's ambition, or to have reconciled oneself to its limits, is a lifetime's work.
I do what I do.
For Her Majesty.
Aye.
But yourself? What about John Brown?
I said. I serve the Queen.
You will not be unaware of the threat now posed by Republicanism.
Why do you think I keep her here?
So...?
The truth is, the Queen would be safer doing her duty and returning south to her public. John Bull loves her and John Bull is her best defense.
Her mind is set. She won't change now.
They don't see it.
See what?
The threat. I tell them, but they don't see it.
They aren't as watchful as you.
Too busy looking after themselves.
The greasy pole.
No loyalty.
I promised to protect her from people like you.
For once in my life, I am not the issue.
She'll never understand it.
In time, she will.
She'll think I betrayed her.
Mr Brown.
Ma'am.
You are here safely.
Aye, ma'am.
You are well?
I am.
And the pony?
Your family sent cards. It was much appreciated.
My husband was always very complimentary in speaking of you. He would have approved, I am sure, of my calling on you in this way. I trust it does not inconvenience you too much.
I've no family, ma'am, apart from my brothers and sisters.
Yes. You have a brother in service here, do you not? I forget his name.
Archie.
Yes. That will be company for you.
Mr Brown.
Yes, ma'am.
You have been told repeatedly not to stand in the courtyard unless requested to do so.
Yes, ma'am.
Then why do you persist in doing it?
The Queen will ride out if and when she chooses.
Prince Albert was going to build a bench here. He thought it one of the best views in Osborne.
It's a fine spot, ma'am.
If Prince Albert were here today, he'd tell him a thing or two.
It is a fine spot for a bench, is it not?
Aye, ma'am.
What are those?
What?
Those, over there, there.
Craobhan-geanmchno-fhiadhaich.
I am thinking of publishing my "Highland Journals."
Are they worth reading?
I am told so.
Who by?
Sir Henry Ponsonby tells me they are charming.
What does he know about the Highlands?
He has been attending at Balmoral for many years.
That doesn't make him an expert.
His remarks were directed at the quality of the writing, not its subject.
I don't groom a horse to have it admired by others, I groom it because it needs grooming.
I do not do it for others. But Ponsonby thinks they are good.
Just say what you have to say, woman. What other people think shouldn't matter to you.
Aye, well, if all you want is a good opinion then he'd be sure to oblige you.
They're ready now.
I hope they didn't go to any trouble, John.
We took a nip of whiskey.
To keep out the cold.
What is it, John? John?
Must they always follow us?
I ordered it. It's for your own safety.
Am I not safe enough with you, John?
Aye. But there are Fenians reported on the mainland.
The threat from the Irish is greatly exaggerated, I'm sure.
John?
Yes, ma'am?
I was told you were in a fight.
Yes, ma'am.
Has someone seen to those bruises?
Ma'am?
Yes?
Having considered my position here at court, I have come to the conclusion that it is in the best interest of Your Majesty that I should resign.
I had foreseen that you would not. But Your Majesty should understand -- that my mind will not be changed in this. I leave for Deeside --
Duty?! You talk about duty?!
If duty and safety are served by the same end then, aye, I do.
I cannot believe you are saying this? You, who I have relied on all this time --
Have I ever let you down before--?
-- You stand there and tell me it is my duty ... after all you promised me!
I'm breaking no promises!
You are forcing me to do the very thing you know I fear most!
For god's sake, woman, I'm just trying to keep you safe!
-- When I took you out riding, come rain or shine, because I knew it was right for you, when I kept the bairns off your back so you could have a bit of peace, when I saw you safe from home to home and you didn't even know I was there...! All I've ever thought about is you!
Then why send me back to them?!
You should never have gone out in such foul weather.
Someone has to look after you. It could've been someone. It was before.
Forgive me, gentlemen. I'm late.
Not at all, Dean. Good of you to spare the time.
I came as quickly as I could.
You've seen the latest cartoon in Punch, I take it?
What can we do?
Your Majesty remains at the very epicenter of governance. As for your people, look no further than the sales of your Highland Journals to see in what affection the nation holds their Queen. You sell even more copies than Mr Dickens.
Then they may read about me.
Indeed, and for that they are eternally grateful.
Is that not enough?
I never thought to be bullied by you, Mr Disraeli. You, I thought, understood a widow's grief.
I stay here because I am happy. Is that such a terrible crime?
This is my good John Brown.
Yes.
Should we take it seriously?
The cartoon or Her Majesty's absenteeism?
Well, both.
The question is, do we need her?
Surely, you're not suggesting we dispense--
Gossip counts. Lord Aberdeen was right. This country is not governed by wisdom but by talk. Granted, it wouldn't take much to winkle the old girl out of mourning, but if public opinion is against her, then it doesn't do to appear too close.
So?
I see the Prince of Wales is here.
What did he want?
We're going to lose.
You can't know that for sure.
Gladstone's got his party facing the same way for the first time in years. We need help. Where is the old girl?
Who?
Mrs Brown.
It's questionable whether there's any advantage to be had from that direction. She's never been less popular.
In the press, perhaps. But she's sold more copies of her Highland Journal in three months than Punch will ever sell in a year. Time to wheel her out.
She's refusing to leave Balmoral.
What's her excuse this time?
The Princess Louisa is too ill to move. Frankly, the Queen's rather upset at the recent spate of bad publicity. You're smiling.
A fine choice, sir.
A distinct flushing around the cheeks. She was drunk, I tell you.
Erysipelas.
Not too protracted, I hope.
The Queen wishes to publish an account of him.
Dear oh dear.
We think she can be dissuaded. Have you had a glance at the diary?
Yes.
Quite. I think I'd best take it back.
Where did you find it by the way?
Well, no rest for the wicked, Henry.
We're expecting Brown this afternoon, ma'am.
I'm sorry, ma'am?
Cold is good!
Excellent, ma'am, excellent. But perhaps if her Majesty were to consider accompanying her new-found physical vigor with the benefits of mental activity...
Why am I being lectured in this way?!
Forgive me, Your Majesty. In no way did I wish to suggest--
No. You are mistaken. Prince Albert, my husband, had typhoid fever. I asked what was wrong with my son.
Why was I not informed?
I did not consider it wise, in the circumstances, to tax your nerves.
The Royal Family and senior members of the household, ma'am.
Just them?
It's Mr Brown, ma'am.
What is he doing there?
He appears to be ... standing by his horse.
I made no request to go out riding today. How long has he been there?
Well?
Mr Brown is unable to attend today.
Why?
I believe he is unwell, ma'am.
Unwell?
I understand he was in a fight.
Has he been hurt?
How long has he been this sick?
A few days, ma'am.
Sir Henry, Mr Brown is standing in the courtyard. I have no wish to go riding.
I'm very sorry, ma'am. I can't imagine -- he was certainly given no instructions.
Please make sure it does not happen again.
Lord Clarendon arrives, by invitation, at eleven o'clock, followed at twelve by a picnic in the grounds to celebrate Princess Alice's birthday. Dispatches, as usual, at two. The Chancellor writes to say that, by happy coincidence, he will be in Cowes for the weekend. He asks if Your Majesty might grant him an audience.
Why?
He thought, perhaps, Your Majesty might wish to be informed of the latest developments in government.
We stayed a little longer than expected with Mr and Mrs Grant. It was most agreeable.
We were expecting you to return by six.
Read it.
Again?
Who told them that?
I have no idea.
Why not?
No-one should think themselves wiser than me! It is not for any of the Queen's subjects to presume to tell Her Majesty when and where She should come out of mourning. It is the Queen's sorrow that keeps her secluded! It is Her overwhelming amount of work and responsibility, work which She feels will soon wear her out entirely!
Your Majesty --
There is one other matter.
What is it?
I have a letter, ma'am.
From whom?
From Princess Helena and other members of your family.
What do they want?
Ma'am?
Please tell the Princess, and other signatories to this letter, that the Queen will not be dictated to, or made to alter, in any way, what she has found to answer for her comfort. Do I make myself clear?
That's a very pretty shawl you are wearing, Alex. Silk suits you well. But you are not eating enough. One must not let vanity overrule one's appetite.
Where is my son?
Prince Albert is at Windsor, ma'am.
Why is he not here?
He is sick, ma'am.
Then why are you not with him?
You ordered all members of the Royal Family to attend you at Balmoral.
What is the matter with him?
Does that thing work?
What do you mean?
You've got your ten levels, right? Here they are... Each level has an exit, only remember, the exits aren't always what they seem. First one's The Blood Red Sky, then you've got The Blue Desert, Tower of Ghosts, Kingdom of the Blind... On each world you have to find a golden key and you've only got so much time to do it in. If
How do you stop The Screamer?
What's the riddle?
If I tell you, then it's no fun.
Just tell me the fucking riddle.
How the hell did you do that?
Could you play ARCADE with that?
Thanks, Albert. Think you could print up those schematics?
We're having some problems with ARCADE...
We vere thinking there might be tricks. You know, surprises that you'd worked into the game...
The next half of the game takes place in ARCADE's brain, The City of Truth. It's urban scenarios, lots of metal and concrete. Screamer comes faster here. On Level Four you can get a free life if you wait until the last possible second before exiting that world. Gotta time it right though.
What's the question mark?
Level Ten. That's where you've got to unlock ARCADE's heart using the keys you've found.
How do you do that?
But how can it change every time?
Dead?
Well, brain-dead anyway. Coma patient. It's really not all that important.
Maybe he's not dead.
He?
The donor. Maybe he's alive inside the game.
Nick, Alex, how are we today?
How'd you know it was us?
Now what seems to be the problem?
It's the game, ARCADE.
If this is a joke, I'm not laughing.
Neither are we. Something's wrong with the game, Mr. Difford.
Talk to me.
He thinks I'm "sublimating".
Has anyone seen Greg?
Sick?
Everybody's sick, huh? It's fifteen after. We always meet here, you know that.
What's her problem?
Did you play ARCADE last night?
Liar. Did you come from the city on the left, or the city on the right?
I came from the city on the left.
So where is he?
Hmmm. He said you were going to have dinner?
Yeah...
So take his car home. Wait. I'm sure he's up to something...
Hello?
Nick...
Have you played the game yet? It's incredible! I was just...
Listen to me! Greg never came home. I think the game has something to do with it.
I have to talk to you.
We are talking...
No, in person. Now.
It's twelve-thirty!
Alex, you don't know how long I've waited for this.
What do you mean by "weird"?
Can you turn off the game?
I'm in the middle of it...
Happy?
No, wait. Just listen. I hooked it up earlier tonight, and it said my name. As soon as I turned it on, Nick. It said my name. How could it know? And then, I asked it where Greg was, and it said, "In here".
Alex, I think you're freaking out. Greg's gone, I'll give you that. And maybe he's in trouble. But it's not ARCADE that's doing it...
It is.
How?! It's a machine, Alex. Machine's don't think. They're not alive. It's a good program, a brilliant program, it was designed so it would act as if it were alive, but it's not alive.
So how did it know my name, then?
See, men always do this. "Quiet down, honey. Chill out. Take a Valium". I'm not a fucking idiot, Nick! I DID NOT IMAGINE IT!!!
It turned itself back on, Nick.
Sorry. Maybe I need the Valium.
Something's happened to them.
It's the middle of the night. They're asleep. Phone didn't wake them.
Because I didn't know where else to go.
It's not this weird. It'll make sense. Everything gets weird this late anyway, right?
We have to find out what's happened to them. I think they're gone...
No way.
If they're sick, great. But let's make sure. Come on, Nick.
Well?
Where to now?
This is like a movie or something. I mean, am I paranoid or what?
It doesn't necessarily mean she's...
Change the channel!
Then leave her.
We can't...
Where do we go?
That's what I thought.
What?
It's not just the cable system. It's in the phone system as well, the electronic net. It's everywhere.
Nick, what is it.
Maybe it is alive in a way...some sort of electronic intelligence. It's like a computer virus that developed a personality or something. It's self-replicating...it mimics life.
It's growing. Getting stronger. Maybe it's only localized now...
...but then it hits the relay stations...
Anywhere. We have to stop it from getting out.
It's already out.
The Police, then...
Give me a break, Alex. What are we going to tell them? Excuse me, officer, but there's some sort of electronic monster loose in the phone lines. I'd think twice about calling any of those 976 numbers...
Then where do we go?!
SLIP-STREAM.
What?
You mean we learn the rules...
And beat it at it's own game.
You realize that in order to do that, we'd actually have to play the game.
Virgin sacrifices?
What Alex is trying to say is that it "seems" like it's alive.
No I'm not...
Go outside, get your car, and meet me out front with the engine running. And make it quick, okay?
What are you going to do?
Jesus Christ!
You got the schematics?
I've been thinking about that. ARCADE's like a virus, so it seems like the place to hit him would be where the virus started. You know, like his point of origin?
Dante's Inferno.
Alex...
What are you looking for?
I don't understand. It wants us to play the game. It's been taunting us ...
Put in a quarter.
It can turn itself on, Alex! It doesn't need a quarter.
You're not coming, Alex.
Yes I am...
I know how to do this! I'm good at these games. You never play, you'd be nailed in an instant.
And what if something happens to you? Am I suppose to go in after you alone?!
You don't get it, do you?
What?
I don't want anything to happen to you. I care about you.
I already have a boyfriend, Nick.
You feel it? It's different this time.
Okay. Give us a kiss?
One. In case...
Thanks. Always wanted to do that.
Yeah, well I figure these are unusual circumstances.
I'll take the lead and handle the physical threats. You watch the elapsed time and look for exits.
Which way do you think Level Two is?
Okay. It's West.
The clock's already ticking.
And we've still got time left. This was a piece of cake.
Hey, my strength's low. Look out for Fireflies.
Shit...
Our time's up.
What?! There's nothing here!
What the fuck is that?!
We can't reach that!
So that's what we almost died for?
One of them, anyway... Did you see it? The Screamer?
Christ...no time...
We can take the dunes down like a ski slope. Pretend you're on a snowboard.
What is it?
Listen to me, Alex. These counselor's don't know anything. They're full of shit. If you don't fit the pattern of the perfect kid, they freak.
I know.
So tell me you're okay, then.
I'm okay.
Come on. We'll hit Dante's after school, try the game out, maybe get some dinner.
And then keep on driving?
Go for it.
So how did you do it, Alex?
How did you get here? Did you play the game?!
Yes...
Then we'll go home?
Which way?
It's the wrong way!
It's here!!!
What did he do to you?
Is that your question?
Think! I want to go to the City of Truth, and the Truth Teller is from there...but which one is which? The liar...think!
You have no time. What is your question?
I'm thinking!
Mom? You're alive...
Of course I am.
But I don't understand...
I love you, Alex. I never wanted to leave. You know that, don't you?
Is...is that where we are? Did I die?
We're glad you people could make it, and we're anxious to have you try out our new product. We think it's going to be a big seller. But you're the people that make it happen. You're the market share everyone's tearing each other apart to get at. It's your opinion that's going to make or break us.
A man after my own heart. Straight to the point. What's different about ARCADE is the way it reacts. It responds like a human does. It learns. It adapts. Each time you play, it changes its strategy.
That's impossible.
"Escape"?
So what's the scenario? Am I saving a princess? Fighting Zombies?
It changes. There are eleven levels. Each one is a different layer of the ARCADE universe. The concept is, you're entering the video game itself, making your way across the circuit board to the logic core ... ARCADE's brain.
So how do I start?
So what do you think?
This is one of our newest projects. We're trying to get rid of joy-sticks altogether ...
It means she's screwed up.
Cool.
Can you say anything but "cool"?
One of these cities, is the place you seek. The Teller of Truths will take you there. But the City of Lies, is dark and bleak. And death is certain if you enter, beware.
I am The Liar. Where should I take you?
So start at the beginning...
Give her a chance, will you?
Adam, where are you?
What's going on, Cynthia?
They've closed the set. They sent everybody home.
What did you say?
They fired everyone.
Ray did ... and then they closed the set.... everybody's gone. You'd better get down here Adam!
No.
You've got to talk to Ray you've got to fix this.
I'm going home.
Home! Meet me at the office. We've got to do something ... you've got to do something Adam!
I'm going home Cynthia.
Adam, this isn't like you. Please come to the office. There must be something we can do.
Someone's shut off my money!
I know. Where are you Adam?
What do you mean "you know"?
Someone called me. When they couldn't get you they told me you were as good as broke. I didn't believe then, so I made some calls.
And?
You're broke!
But I'm not broke.
I know, but you're broke. Where are you?
Do you know somebody called the The Cowboy?
The Cowboy??
Yeah, the Cowboy. This guy, the Cowboy, wants to see you. Jason said he thought it would be a good idea.
Oh, Jason thought it would be a good idea for me to meet the Cowboy. Should I wear my ten gallon hat and my six shooters?
Something tells me this guy is connected with what's happening, Adam, and I think you should do it and I think you should do it right away.
Cynthia...what's going on?
It's been a very strange day.
And getting stranger. Where do I meet this Cowboy? I mean do I have to ride out to the range?
Sort of, funny boy. If I tell him the meeting's on you're to go to the top of Beachwood Canyon. There's a corral up there where he'll be.
You gotta be kidding?
Will you meet with him?
Yeah, sure. It is that kind of a day. When?
Cynthia... that would not be a good idea.
I'm just offering a place to stay.
I understand, Cynthia and thank you for the offer. I'll find a place. Now go ahead and give the Cowboy a yodel and get back to me.
Okay, but you don't know what you're missing.
So what's the problem?
There is no problem.
We'd be happy to put her in the pile for considerations ... you'd be pleased to know there's quite a lot of interest in this role.
You'd better fix this, Ray!!!
I'll speak to someone.
Howdy!
Beautiful night.
Yeah.
Sure want to thank ya for drivin' all the way up to see me from that Beverly Hills Hotel.
No problem. What's on your mind?
Well now, here's a man who wants to get right to it. Kinda anxious to get to it are ya?
Whatever.
A man's attitude ... a man's attitude goes some ways toward how a man's life will be. Is that somethin' you agree with?
Sure.
Now... did you answer cause you thought that's what I wanted to hear or did you think about what I said and answer cause you truly believe that to be right?
I agree with what you said...truly.
What did I say?
That a man's attitude determines to a large extent how his life will be.
So since you agree I guess you could be a person who does not care about the good life.
Well, just stop for a little second and think about it. Will ya do that for me?
Okay, I'm thinking.
No. You're too busy being a smart aleck to be thinkin'. Now I want ya to think and quit bein' such a smart aleck. Can ya do that for me?
Look ... where's this going? What do you want me to do?
There's sometimes a buggy. How many drivers does a buggy have?
One.
So let's just say I'm drivin' this buggy and you fix your attitude and you can ride along with me.
Okay.
It will work out.
Good then, but, just in case, that bank's gonna stay closed a bit longer. You understand that?
I understand.
You're an understandin' fella.
So, this is the last time I see you then unless I do bad?
No, this one doesn't count. It's part of the original one. So then ... until we meet again.
Yes...what is it?
I'm sorry Mr. Kesher, but there seems to be some problem concerning your credit card.
... What??
The fact is Mr. Kesher a representative of your bank called us.
How... how'd they know I was here?
I don't know. All we do is take an impression of the credit card and until you check out it just sits in our files.
So, what did they say?
Well, Sir, I'm afraid they said you're overdrawn at your bank and your line of credit has been cancelled.
Unbelievable. Look... here. I don't know what's going on. That's so much baloney. I've got enough cash for one night, okay?
That's fine, Mr. Kesher. You can pay cash when you check out. I'm sorry. it was my duty to inform you.
Fine. I'll check out in the morning.
I guess it was your grandfather, was it ... he called me to check in, said you were on your way and for you to call when you get in. Nice man... farmer I hear.
Yes, he is. He raises corn.
Damn lot of corn raised in Hollywood these days too.
Well, I ...
I...
You probably don't remember her, but Louise Bonner lives right over there in number 29. When she isn't drunk she runs a damn good acting class.
Have many famous actors and actresses lived here? I was meaning to ask you that.
I guess I've come to quite a place.
No, I don't.
That's good. They're allowed, but I don't like 'em...for obvious reasons. One man used to live here that had a prize fighting kangaroo. You wouldn't believe what that kangaroo did to this courtyard ... let's see your Aunt's apartment ... it's a good one.
It's unbelievable!
I told ya.
Wow!
Now I guess you and your Aunt have an understanding. So here's the key and you need anything, just give a holler. Everybody in this building's pretty much okay with me or they wouldn't be here. If you want, later I'll introduce you around. No hard feelings if you don't, and don't forget the rooftop garden. It's just up the stairs we passed. It's
Oh Coco thank you. Thank you so much.
Your Aunt called me.
I was afraid of that.
She wants to know who's staying in her apartment.
It's just for a night or two, until she finds her own place. I tried to explain that to Aunt Ruth, but the connection was bad and her plane was leaving and she got it all mixed up. I kept telling her it was my friend and she kept saying she didn't know any Ritas ...
Coco...she's very nice. We went to school together.
So I guess your Grandpa and Grandma know her.
You're really something Coco...thank you.
Sorry to trouble you, Coco.
It's all right gorgeous. Something wrong?
No, no. I'm on my way to my audition. Before I go I wanted to ask you if you could remember the man's name ... Aunt Ruthie's friend who helped put this together. It completely went out of my mind.
His name's Wally Brown .... great guy. Been in the business since forever.
Thanks Coco. It'd be so embarrassing
Naw! He wouldn't have cared. Just give him a good performance and he'll be happy and I've got a feeling you'll do just that.
Get going. You don't want to be late.
Right. See ya.
That's okay.
There was an accident. I came here.
A car ... a car accident.
Are you okay?
I think so. I was just taking a shower.
My name is Rita.
Betty Elms?
Yes.
I'm Wally Brown. Your Aunt is a very dear friend of mine so it's particularly nice to meet you.
Very pleased to meet you.
Hi.
No, no, I'm fine.
Just tell me where it hurts, baby.
What?
Betty.
You're still here?
I can call them... I can call my dad.
Stop... just stop! That's what you said from the beginning. If I tell what happened... they'll arrest you and put you in jail, so get out of here before...
Hi. I'm inquiring ...well, I heard a sound last night that sounded like a car crash and I want to know if there was an accident on Mulholland Drive.
Yes, there was.
Can you tell me what happened?
No. I can't.
Was anyone hurt?
Yes?
Diane?
Number 17.
But it said #12.
Well ... we'll leave her a note.
No ..........I.
I...I mean......I...it's none of my business.
She has pretty red hair... she is very kind I think.
She sure is. She's letting me stay here while she's working on a movie that's being made in Canada, but I guess you know that. I couldn't afford a place like this in a million years. Unless of course I'm discovered and become a movie star. Of course, I'd rather be known as a great actress than a movie star, but sometimes people end
I think I've been hurt.
No.
But, this could be serious.
No...I need to sleep.
If you have a concussion you shouldn't sleep.
It will be okay if I sleep. I need to lie down and sleep.
What is it Rita?
What's wrong?
I don't know who I am.
What do you mean? You're Rita.
Well... what do you think about then? I mean... well what do you think about?
What do you mean?
Well ... if you don't remember anything, I mean what goes through your mind then if you don't remember anything?
Nothing. I do remember the car crash... I told you... I remember the glass ... I think about that sometimes ... I remember walking here, sort of. Now I remember this place and you. That's about it.
I don't know.
You don't remember anything else?
The money. You don't know where it came from?
Unh, unh.
Mulholland Drive.
Mulholland Drive?
That's where I was going... Mulholland Drive.
Maybe that's where the accident was. There must be a police report. We could call.
No.... I don't...
Okay... but just...just to see.
Just to see if there was an accident on Mulholland Drive.
Okay.
There's nothing?
No. Just the coffee.
Strange to be calling yourself.
Maybe it's not me.
It's not my voice ... but I know her.
Maybe the voice isn't Diane Selwyn. Maybe that's your roommate or if it is Diane Selwyn she can tell you who you are.
What's wrong with that?
I'm not sure about this.
"You're still here?"
"Really?"
"My parents are right upstairs! They think you've left..."
"So... surprise"...
"I can call them... I can call my dad... "
"You're playing a dangerous game here. If you're trying to blackmail me... it's not going to work."
"You know what I want...it's not that difficult."
"Get out! Get out before I call my dad ... he trusts you ... your his best friend. This will be the end of everything... "
"What about you? What will your dad think about you?"
"Stop! Just Stop! That's what you said from the beginning. If I tell what happened... they'll arrest you and put you in jail, so get out of here before..."
"Before I kill you."
Oh, no wonder I'm starving. I'm going to fix a sandwich. You want one?
I'm all right.
Is everything all right? Is it bad for you that I'm here?
I hope I'm back in a couple of hours. Don't drink all the coke.
Good luck!
When I get back I'll have the cab waiting, so be ready to go.
Why didn't you ask him? Sol knows you!
But I don't know, Sol. I never heard of Sol. I'd just get in trouble. That's why we shouldn't go see about Diane Selwyn... it's better not to get in trouble.
Don't stop!
What is it? What do you see?!
Those men in front, in the car.
Do you know them?!
No... but...
I don't think...
C'mon help me in. I'll open the front door.
Rita... I know what you're doing.
What ... I..HAVE... to do.
Rita... I want you to stay here and you don't have to give me that money.
But I want to.
No. We shouldn't touch that money. We don't know about that money. That might be dangerous money. You have to start all over again. You look like a brand new person and you can be a brand new person... whoever you want to be.
It sounds kind of nice ... being somebody brand new.
To my audition.
And who are we auditioning for today?
Wally Brown.
And do we know which of the fifty-seven buildings Wally Brown is in?
No, we don't.
Well, now we've got to figure that out first don't we?
Yes, Sir.
Mr.Wallace Brown is in the Executive Building on the second floor. We want to go in and turn right at the first street. Then we want to walk three blocks down past Stage 17 to the white Executive Building. Once we're on the second floor the receptionist will take us from there. Now do we have name?
Betty Elms.
Let's see if we have a pass for Betty Elms ... and we do. Here we go. And good luck Miss. Elms.
Yeah, sure. Look what happened to them.
No, no, no, I told you. They're fine. They're all real happy.
You're so easy.
Gotta keep an eye on her, that's all.
Yeah, what for?
What's the matter now?
Nothing... I don't like being out in the open like this.
Why did you want to go to breakfast if you're not hungry?
I just wanted to come here.
To Denny's? I wasn't going to say anything, but why Denny's?
This Denny's.
It's kind of embarrassing but,
Go ahead.
I had a dream about this place.
Oh boy.
You see what I mean...
Okay, so you had a dream about this place. Tell me.
So, you came to see if he's out there?
To get rid of this god-awful feeling.
You feel it?
Sammy thinks the Caddy had stopped along the shoulder ... man up the road said he saw two cars drag racin'...then you got that blind corner.
Two men... two guns in the Caddy.
Yeah, they showed me
Could be unrelated.
Could be...any of those dead kids wearin' pearl earrings?
No. Could be someone's missin' maybe.
Nice wallets.
Handstitched Italian. Filled with phony credit cards ... off the two guys in the Caddy.
The one of 'em still alive?
Yeah... just .... Dr. Scott's got 'im. You remember Dr.Scott.
Well he said... you know in his way... you know what I mean? Besides the guy gettin' rolled up under the kids car which busted him up pretty bad, there was this little knife-like torn piece of metal, you know, off the car body, rolled out and slid up through this guy's neck and just kinda slit his aorta, you know, but they didn't
Find out who they are?
Nope, not yet. Their fingerprints don't match up anywhere.
Interesting.
Yeah ... and they both use the same address.
Where at?
Palmdale.
So man, that's unheard of ... an accident like that ... who coulda foreseen that.
Unreal ... so, you're looking good. Whatcha doin' these days?
Well, not much Ed. Just doin' some stuff for this guy.
Making ends meet, huh.
Hardly.
Yeah, look at my digs ... times are tough.
Oh, things aren't so bad. Gee, I hope you're not goin' to get in any trouble.
It was just a thing. The story made you laugh.
Not here...no thanks.
Not a coke or anything?
No ... thanks though... I'll take a cigarette if you have one.
No. I haven't seen any.
A brunette? ... maybe beat up?
No...
You'll keep your eyes open for me won't you baby?
That's it folks for the Demon Boat Ride.... Everybody off. Watch your hands and feet.
And now ladies and gentlemen it's time for the fabulous CROCODILE SHOW !
So many tubes to get in, only one is the way out.
Great.. great. Is there any kind of hint or anything ?
You must come in first place to move on !
Is that it ?
Doesn't it bother you to see this kind of brutal death ? I mean , I can understand the old man's infatuation with the stuff, but not you.
I'm an investment banker. I see blood bathes everyday. Besides, mine is not to question why, min is but to do or die.
Good morning. What do you have today ?
I'll do the standard research and have them in by midnight, pending any unforseen problems.
You have 43 unpaid parking tickets, sir. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can & will be held.....
What's going on ?
Where are we ?
Why should we trust you ?
What about Matt ?
Leave him, he's dead.
Why don't you tell us what the fuck is going on ?
Why should I ?
You said we were criminals, what did you mean ?
You're both embezzling. I saw the records.
Embezzling ? I'm not embezzling !
Maybe not, but he is and fucking him makes you an accessory. He stole your passwords.
Now where do we go ?
How do we get out of this room ?
Now what the hell are we supposed to do ?
There's enough force to push you twenty feet in the air. It won't kill you, but it will hurt.
Come on, it works.
So where does this lead ?
No where. We've got about seven minutes before this thing slams into a concrete wall.
So what do we do ?
I'm working on it.
Who the hell are you anyway ? What is this place ?
It's called Murderland. It's paid for by First Bank.
First Bank ? But how ?
It's a tax write off for John C. McCay.
McCay knows ?
What are you doing ?
Hey ! Hey ! I'm talking to you !
What ?
You took an awful big risk back there.
Look I don't even wanna know how I got in this mess. I just want out. It has nothing to do with me.
If you hadn't started boffing that weasel with an attitude, you wouldn't be here.
I'M NOT BOFFING MATTHEW !
Then you didn't give him any passwords of any kind ?
NO ! I wouldn't do that.
Then he isn't embezzling either is he ?
So you're telling me you were set up ? I knew something was wrong.
I'm not listening.
Hey ! I'm still your best chance to get out of here alive.
It won't take them that long to figure out we weren't on the train when it wrecked.
Not listening !
Look, there's another train. They'll send it through here. You're fucked if you don't STOP and listen to me.
I'm listening.
What's the trick here ?
We drown.
Obviously, but what's the way out ?
Once the room depletes it's oxygen, we have about 30 seconds, then a door opens on the bottom over there. Then we swim out.
How long till the room fills ?
So why this ?
Excuse me ?
Why did you build this whole place ?
Is this really the time ?
Do you have something better to talk about ?
I just graduated from M.I.T. in engineering. That's when John McCay hired me.
He hired you to build this place ?
I was lured by all the money and I truly did convince myself that what I did was for justice. Since then, McCay has wanted to put anyone he can down here.
But how do you know if the people are guilty ?
I do a very thorough background check. I go through police files, personel files, anything.
Then how come Matt and I showed up as guilty ?
It was there, clear as day. I saw the computer records. Matthew has been fed wiring money to his personal account. I just knew something was wrong.
So you may have been duped this whole time. Killing innocent people, that must make you feel ..., how does it feel ?
There are other things too. They had everyone start taking those psych tests. Did they make you take one ?
Yeah, everyone has to when they get hired.
There's more to it than trying to see if you'd steal from the company or if you'd lie or cheat.
What do you mean ?
And you believe that ?
I've since changed my mind. I designed this place, based on my belief that I was doing what the legal system couldn't or wouldn't do. McCay had the company buy the property and they pay the bills. It's a tax write off. On the books everything looks kosher. I have an office on 5th that I haven't seen in ten years.
Doesn't anyone notice all the people missing ?
This is New York. No one notices anyone. Not even when someone disappears. At first it was the guy who was caught trying to steal McCay's Jag. Then it was dirty accountants that tried to walk away with millions. The Old Man got such a rush from it, I thought that he would start trying to send me people who used the copier after
How can you just take a life ? I mean it's a life, life is so precious. How does it feel ?
What do you do with the company, if I might ask ?
I... I .....
You didn't think about it did you ? I read your file. It said you had a nervous breakdown.
I wanted to let his family know....
Know what ? That it was your fault ?
It wasn't my fault. I was just part of a team. I was doing my job...
Just remember, hold your breath as long as you can. Then go right over to that corner. The door will open and go in and up.
You okay ?
If we can get to through the next room, we'll be at a junction for a power grid.
This is cute.
Yeah, real cute. The storm is fake, but the lightening is real.
Okay Mr Inventor, how do we avoid it ?
You don't. It's random, there no trick.
Where are we going ?
I don't get it.
Do you know where you're going ?
What was that ?
What about you ?
Just stop it. End it here.
What are you DOING here ?
I work here, remember ?
That was eleven years ago.
Well, surprise, surprise, I've been on the payroll for several years now. I still have an office and secretary. No one even batted an eyelash. Do you realize what the high turnover is in a multi corporation bank in New York ?
Apparently pretty high, we just got a new CEO last week.
That's a shame.
Yeah a real shame.
Well, I'll see you at the next staff party.
Are you Matthew Parker ?
Yes, can I help you ? Maybe a donut or something ?
That's very funny, sir. You are under arrest.
Kojak here is arresting me for unpaid parking tickets.
NO. Don't. You'll get a shock from hell if you touch that seat.
Who are you anyway ? What the hell is this ?
OUCH !!! GODDAMMIT that hurts !!!!
NO ! Don't open ANY of them ! They're all wrong. Just wait.
Wait for what ? i don't wanna alarm you but we'll be the special at the International House of Pancakes in about five minutes !
Okay, NOW I'm worried. What exactly is on the other side of the door ?
Either you'll be shot with bullets, impaled with a large spike, or nailed like a super model. Basically you're fucked any way you go.
Hey buddy, thanks for the help back there !
Give me one good reason why I don't plug you right here, right now ?
Is it over ?
That's nice. I think I lost my wallet.
I'd get out of the water if I were you.
I thought you made this place ?
What's next Walt ?
A dragon.
Be very, very quiet...
The room has sound sensors. If you wake it up, it breathes fire.
An elevator ?
It's fine thanks.
Why don't you tell us a little about yourself ?
That's not to tough.
Issues ??? This guy has the damn subscription to every psychotic issue I've ever heard of.
Hey, try swimming. It works.
What the fuck are you talking about.
You okay ?
This probably isn't the bet time, but I really have to pee. Can I pee ?
Knock yourself out.
Is it over ?
Almost. Look, you two get out of here.
Where ?
He's the liaison for McCay. Listen go. Go now.
I didn't think he'd make it past Scraps.
Don't.
What ?
Don't eat at the console.
What ? Are you my mother ?
It's my control board and I don't want it acting squirrelly because you dropped a few crumbs into the keyboard, no put the shit away.
Never underestimate a man who cheats on his taxes. His file says he is an avid jogger.
He'll never get it right. Try the Log Ride !
Not yet.
But, he's...
Stop the hydraulics.
Johnny, let's get the cleanup started.
Hand me the 3/8ths.
Here. Am I ever going to get to run the controls for one these capers ?
When I think you're ready.
When will that be ?
When you are ready.
Look, you're going to have to start trusting me sometime. I am a trustworthy person.
Trust is earned not given away.
RESPECT is earned not given away, trust is given away to anybody.
Not down here. I'll start trusting you when I feel there the time is right. It's not personal, it's just survival.
I've been working with you for four years, don't you think that's worthy of at least one turn at the controls ?
I made my bones on the street, you know. I did Riglioni in his own house. I was made in the Family, okay.
And who bailed you out when a hit was put on you, you sorry sack of shit. Who put you up ? Who gave you a job ?
You did.
What's wrong ?
I see here that this guy has made deposits into his own account for the last four months. Each one in the amount of $100,000. He then puts in deposits into his girlfriends account.
So ?
He already had a balance of $600,000.
He probably has a history of this shit.
Yeah, maybe.... Let's start the background checks. Let's see where they live and what kind of security systems....
Matthew lives on the Upper West Side, kinda posh for a temp don't you think ?
Any priors ? Any police record ?
Checking..... Hah ! He has a shit load of unpaid parking tickets...
Parking tickets ? That's it ?
Yeah, but we're talking 43.
A real criminal.... I still think that's our in... What about her ?
Why don't you just stop fucking around and just die !
You think I'm that easy, Bitch ?
Well ?
Fire the whole division.
Excuse me, sir ?
Fire the whole division. We're moving more of the operations division into Manhattan anyway. Whoever is left over from the conversion is no longer needed. We already have all the key people here. Anyone else is expendable.
Sir, I came from the Chicago offices myself, and if I may say, sir, there are still some very good....
If you want, I can fire you and have someone else who has the balls terminate these worthless people. Which will it be ?
Zachory ! My boy, how goes the carnage down on 44 ?
Not that well sir. I believe we have a few too many soft hearts in the building. Did we aquire a bank from Chicago or a charity ?
Relax, son. They'll learn in time that you don't fuck with First Bank. This is the real deal and we aim to keep it strong. My Daddy always told me that Only The Strong Survive.
I thought that was Darwin, sir. Or perhaps Nietzsche ?
Perhaps it was. I was in boarding school for so many years, it's hard to remember. Do you have the tape of the latest exploits from my favorite hobby ?
Yes sir, I do. Last night's, fresh from the Park.
I have to say, that I am glad you are such an amazing kiss ass.
Thank you , sir. Sir, may I ask you a question ?
Of course.
While I am not morally against these little, shall we say "hobbies", as long as I am on the payroll, but why not something like a yacht club ?
Zach, how old are you, son ?
I am thirty two.
And how much do we pay you annually ?
I make roughly four hundred thousand a year.
Zach my boy, I can spend your yearly salary in a blink. I have had that kind of money all of my life. If I wanted to, I could fly to Paris for the afternoon. My father formed this company over seventy years ago. When my brother became mentally challenged, it was put in my charge. Now running a bank of this size is
Yes sir.
I have entrusted you with a great many things. In your tenure with this company you have seen and heard things that could upset the very economic world in which we live. I think this kind of loyalty should be rewarded.
Thank you, sir. I was really hoping for shares, or possibly cash... but this, this is really personal.
That was rather.... disappointing.
I had suggested that they tone down the program so that the "guests" might take longer to expire.
I want more action. I want to see more ingenuity than that. I want to see the injured man out wit the machines !
But sir, most of the people we are putting into the "Park" are accountants that embezzle or investment bankers. They are not known for their physical or intellectual prowess.
I don't believe Ol' Bruce is having as much fun with this as he once did. He still insists on the "guests" being of the more nefarious type.
That's right, sir. He does a thorough background check and if he finds them to be criminal or guilty of embezzlement, then he will put them in the park. He has refused the last three suggested "guests".
What about that time when the mail room kid was accused of stealing and we put him in the "Park" ? Wasn't that a computer glitch ?
Yes sir. It turns out we put an innocent man into the "park" and he was not the one who stole from the stamp machine. That is also about the time when Bruce began refusing.
That mail room kid was the longest lasting "guest" yet ! Maybe we can alter the computer records and make another "guest" from the more athletic of our staff.
I propose we consider a hostile take over. Perhaps Ol' Bruce is in need of a new job opportunity.
What do you mean sir ?
What if we were to put Bruce into the Park as a Guest ?
Sir ?
I'll bet that would be the Park run of the century !
Sir, he created the Park. He would know how to circumvent any of the traps.
I'm willing to bet that even the creator can't out wit his creation.
What then sir ? What would we do with the park with out Bruce ?
Do you think the assistant, what's his name...
John, sir.
Yes, do you think he would like a raise and a new position ?
Sir, this is not like firing any employee. We can't predict what will happen.
Zachary.
Zach, my boy ! How is tonights adventure going ?
Is it as good as I hope it is ?
One moment dear...
Sir ?
Yes sir. It will be the best of your collection, I assure you.
Fantastic ! A little faster sweetheart.
Sir ? We're moving them right along as fast as we can.
He has a phone pole sticking in his chest, I think we don't need an autopsy.
Hey, Mr. Executive. Buy you a drink sailor ?
We have new "guests" for the park. I have a file on them. May I see Bruce ?
No. I was just curious if what I heard about you is true ?
What did you hear ?
Only that you were one of the finest hit men in the mob. That if you wanted a good clean kill, that Johnny Tortelli was the man for the job.
I was.
Might I ask why you no longer work for the mob ?
There was a bit of confusion on one of my last jobs.
I thought, and correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you trying to play both sides ?
What are you looking for ? A blow job ?
No. I am not a homosexual.
Then what do you want ?
Have you ever considered running your own "Park" ? I mean, since you will not be returning to your former profession.
I didn't think even this company could afford to write off enough to build a new "Park".
Are you happy with your salary and position ?
No I am not.
I had hoped you would say that. I have a proposal for you.....
So who are these people with the Boss ?
Just a temp who pissed me off and a girl who turned me down for the night of her life.
How long till the drug wears off ?
We should have another fifteen minutes at least.
Bruce has just awaken.
What is Bruce doing ?
What was that ?
He must have had a gun stashed. God damn it !
We can't afford too many surprises.
Will he make it out ?
What's next ?
I have a turn for the worse for the team !
I've got five bucks that says someone dies here and now.
Aren't you going to switch exits on him again ?
Maybe you should get over fears.
Look he figured it out !
Look ! Look !
Shit, I forgot about them. Well, I guess the boss man wasn't as tough as I thought.
I don't know. Maybe we should watch the tape to be sure.
Was that the Old Man ?
There ! There ! Did you see ! They're still alive !
That is repugnant. You have the habits of a goat.
<<belch>>
Ach ! How will you know if they've made it ?
Thank you very much.
Okay, I have five that says THIS is it for them.
So what's next ? No one's ever made it this far before.
What the ... ?
What happened ?
The power went out in half the park.
How can this happen ?
I don't know. I think that a power grid just needs reset. Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'll go down and reset it.
Go in there ? What if Bruce finds you ?
Good golly miss molly you are looking good today !
Thank you.
Just look at this tie. You could fry an egg off that orange, yow. Have you ever considered the Jerry Garcia line of ties ?
Come on, I'm serious. Look at Wilma. She's this frail little thing, and Fred, I mean Fred Flintstone is this BIG guy. He has to be hung like a horse, and THAT's why Wilma puts up with his B.S.
Listen, I was thinking, you know. Would you go, it's I think you're...
Do you want to go out with me ?
It's sounds so much better when you say it. I'm semi traditional here, and it's important that I ask. Will you go out with me ?
Yes.
Really ? On a date ?
Yes.
This is too easy, I mean I had a speech prepared, then I even wore these pants because I could get on my knees to grovel.
As appealing as that sounds...
Dinner at my place then ? Say, seven o'clock ?
Hello.
Hi. I brought some wine.
Thank you, won't you come in ?
What an incredible view !
Are you okay ?
Yes, Excuse me for a second.
Well, I make good investments, I lead a double life as a secret agent.. I....I ... I have very rich parents. I have always had a lot of money.
If they're so rich, why are you working at all ?
I just want to have something that's mine, you know ? It's like living off of their money is fun and all. There are certain materialistic needs that I have that can only be satisfied with that extra little scratch.
Like what, a Porsche ? A Ferrari ?
Would that impress you ? I mean you're the kinda woman that probably has Ferrari written all over your personal ad.
Actually, I'm more interested in the man behind the wheel more than the manufacturer. So what is it that you have that makes you a materialistic fool ?
Okay, now go under go under it ! Shoot Vader's Tie Fighter ! Get Him Get Him !
Not now, Mom.
Hey... did we uhm, you know....
Hey, you ! What the hell is going on ?
I think we should follow him...
Are you okay ?
The roof is coming down.... hey, you.... Which door gets us out of here ??
I'm talking to you asshole !
You don't have to sound so emphatic.
How's your foot ?
Jesus Christ ! I'm just a temp for Christ sakes !
Shut up ! It's me.
I think I'm very quickly getting over my phobia of public urination.
What ?
It's that asshole Zach isn't it ?
Are you okay ? Any holes ? I mean aside from the one's that nature gave you ?
Hey Matty, don't wait for me or anything.
Sweet Jesus I never dreamed I'd be glad to see Central Park at night.
What now ?
I want to go to sleep for about a month.
No, idiot. Where do we go now ?
Thanks a lot. I always wanted to know what it was like to see my life flash before my eyes for the one hundredth time tonight.
He was right behind me !
Hey good lookin' ! What'cha got cookin' ?
Hey buddy. You okay ?
Ow. Son of a ..... Did I ever tell you my theory on Star Wars as Porn ?
No.
No sir. I was just getting , well you know. Water. We weren't talking about sex or anything else except Star Wars. Just saying hello. I think I'm gonna go now.
Why don't you shut up now.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Did you see what the First Bank stock opened at ? Very impressive.
Actually it's down .2 from the last quarters highest, but I think it will pick up.
I am equally impressed with your knowledge of the market. How long have you been with the company now ?
Four years. I came over from the Capitol merger in Chicago six months ago.
We start with the top and work our way down. We start with the high salaries and then just let the little people go. No need to make the blue collars go crazy.
I disagree. I think we should start looking into the severance pay schedules and make sure the people with families can.....
Look, Miss. I know you're still upset about that incident in Chicago, but understand, this is a cut throat business. We don't have time to play nursemaid to every single Tom Dick and Harry.
You had to remind me?
Are you writing a poem?
Umm, where do you want this?
Do you still teach?
My mother took this course with you at UCLA...&quot;The Foundations of Poetic Thought&quot;.
UCLA? My cardigan sweater period.
Her name was Maggie Muldovan.
People said she looked like me.
I was drinking a little in those days. I'm drinking a little these days too.
I'm sure she found your lectures fascinating.
Oh I doubt it...lectures are notoriously boring.
No they're not. I wanna be a writer, I wanna be just like you.
Excuse me I asked you a question.
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, not even nuns.
How did you know my name?
Your Uncle Phil told me.
Where is he?? He was supposed to meet me.
Hey relax, you think I kidnapped him or something?
This is California, anything is possible.
Well if I was looking for a victim, I definitely wouldn't pick your Uncle Phil who outweighs me by about 150 pounds, besides, who would I ask for ransom? You??
Are you suffering from a chemical imbalance or is it just an attitude problem.
My only problem is that your Uncle Phil is giving me five bucks to pick you up but I don't get paid 'till delivery.
Put that down, I'll...I'll call the police!
What are you gonna do? Tell them that...a polite person helped carry your bag?
I don't think you're very polite.
THANK YOU.
Don't mention it.
What kind of sleazoid geek would turn her in?
Well maybe you should join a hippie commune. But let me tell you something. Sooner or later it's gonna be your turn to take out the garbage.
What about giving the other guy a break.
Give us a break. All you have to do is make a phone call.
I thought I told you to lose this guy.
Look, sergeant I know I said some things last time that I shouldn't have said at all but...
I think the phrase was &quot;Sleazoid Geek&quot;.
I'm sorry okay...we gotta find this guy because...he knew Vada's mom and he could tell her stuff that no one else knows.
So charge him with something...who's gonna know?
It's too bad about your mom. At least she went peacefully, I've seen a lot of people go out the hard way.
What do you remember about her.
Wow, you walked out with my mother?
She was the uhh...first girl ever suspended for smoking.
Suspended from school, my mother??
I'm not authorized to trace licenses for civilians.
Yeah, this is Sergeant Tanaka from Holenbeck, I need a current address for a Jeffrey....
Pommeroy.
Pommeroy...he may or may not be driving a black 54 Ford Pickup. Monday.
I'm leaving Sunday.
Do you wanna be a hall monitor all your life?
Vada, try to scrunch these chairs together a little more.
I got a card from your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles today, said he went body surfing.
Do what?
Well the thing is your room is right next door to ours, and so we thought, well, I thought, if you were willing we might move you to Grammoo's room, and use your old room for the nursery. See we're gonna be up half the night with a newborn and there'll be a lot of noise....
You want me to move?
Okay, no problem.
Visualize a spare?
Well you know what I mean.
So, what's on your mind?
Me? What makes you think there's something on my mind?
You're passing up Archie Bunker to go bowling, you've gotta have an angle.
Shelly's already told me all about sex.
She told me too, I mean, she told me she told you about sex, I personally new about sex long before I met Shelly.
Ahh, strike, not, not bad at all. No, this talk isn't about sex, it's, well there've been a lot of changes, and I know you're upset about losing your room, but the baby's gotta go somewhere.
No it's okay, I understand, really.
Maybe I should just move to China. One kid per family, that way you don't lose your room.
Hey, why don't you just keep your room and we'll put the baby in the back yard.
Don't do that, you've got the whole garage.
Oh yeah, right-between the power mower and the weed killer.
Dad I'm kidding, you can have the room.
Seriously?
Seriously.
Dad, when a boy likes you, does he pretend that he doesn't like you? And if he pretends that he doesn't like you how can you tell that he likes you?
What boy likes you?
So you're saying...What are you saying??
The Collected Works of Alfred Biedermeyer
There's still a big spot on the floor.
Okay, we need wallpaper paste. Hey Cece!
Oh, is there anything else you remember, how did you propose? Was it romantic?
She was talented, but honey I wish I could help you a little more, it's just that your mother and I had kind of a whirlwind courtship, she came to town with this traveling theater group, I proposed on our second date, two weeks later we were married and almost nine months later you were here and she was gone.
Was it a nice funeral?
You were just having a fight about me. Wouldn't you like to hear my opinion?
Of course.
I think that if I'm old enough to accept a new baby, and if I'm old enough to accept a new room, I'm old enough to go to California.
Honey I know it's fun to think about these things but....
I already bought a ticket.
What??
No nuns, got it.
What does that mean?
Bye Dad, I'll miss you.
Thanks, I needed that.
I'll be back in 137 hours.
Hello? Sultenfuss Parlor.
Hi Dad.
Hi honey.
I just called to say that I'm having a really great time.
Good! You should go over and watch some Ted Carson.
Yeah.
Totally groovy huh?
Totally.
Ask him if he needs a good tuba player.
I will. How's Shelly?
Oh she's fine...ahh...umm the doctor just...ehh...told her to stay in bed and get a little rest and...'n stay quiet...just...just to make sure that...
Okay...bye daddy, I love you.
I love you too sweetie, bye.
What happened to Shelly?
She just had a baby that's all.
We have a baby?
Uh huh, a boy, you've got a new brother.
Can I see him?
Hey you're not eating your meatloaf.
If I eat it I'll throw up.
Well you should at least try a little bit.
I don't know if I want to.
Oh, she's fine, she'll love her new room.
Oh, Shell, that's ridiculous, where are my needle nosed pliers?
Well if there was an article about it I'm sure she did. She was always reading.
Never heard of him.
How about a nice glass of milk?
I told you about the pumpkin didn't I?
No.
She can spread her wings, right here in Pennsylvania. You don't send a child alone to Los Angeles, she could come back with her ears pierced, her legs shaved and God knows what else.
She is not a child Harry, she is a young woman, she's on the brink of...
Disaster, disaster lurks behind every palm tree.
Yeah and they forgot to ask for one who wasn't having hormone surges.
Oh come on Harry, we're talking about five days here.
Reason? What reason?
I'm sorry I couldn't come pick you up honey.
Maybe he's wet?
Are you the Hillary Mitchell who went to school with Maggie Muldovan?
It's okay really, I was just a baby.
Thanks.
His name's Harry Sultenfuss.
Oh. Ohhh?
What're you saying?
Ummmmm, look, I...I...
Are you saying my mother had another husband?
Oh honey, back then...people did crazy things.
Sure am, who are you?
I am Vada Margaret Sultenfuss. My mother was...
I was hoping I'd get to meet you.
Umm...can you come in for a minute?
Bye. She looks a little like me when I was a little girl.
I'm glad you're here.
You are?
We have this school assignment to write about someone we never met and I chose my mother. She was born in Los Angeles and since my uncle Phil moved out here I came in to visit him and then I looked at her high school yearbook and... and I called a few people and one guy said that she went to UCLA, another guy
Hillary Mitchell? How's she?
Oh she's great...she's a little crazy though. Anyway, Hillary said that you had a black Ford truck and this policeman I know got in touch with Motor Vehicles and...he gave me your address and here I am.

I told you it was a long story.
That's all right, you know what? You sound just sounded just like your mother...she told great stories. Stories with crazy accents and...special effects.
Special effects?
Yeah like, switching a lamp on and off when she was talking about lightning...audiences love stuff like that. And your mom knew how to work an audience.
I don't know very much about her...I was hoping that you could help me.
And she saved it.
Well, we didn't have a camera...so she just wrote the date on the bag and said, &quot;This will be out wedding album, this will be a day we will never forget.&quot; We never did.
Do you have any pictures if her?
She's beautiful.
Would you like...eh...to have these movies?
More than anything in the world.
It's good to see Maggie again...and you.
Umm...didn't you ever wonder about me?
Well I didn't know about you until after she was gone.
I thought that...umm...maybe you'd be curious about how I turned out.
I'd say you turned out just fine.
I guess what I mean is, my mother married my dad after you...and then I was born, so I thought that...maybe you got divorced because of me.
Wait...woah...woah...wait a minute...Do you think I'm your father?
Well...
Maggie wanted to have a baby...and...umm...I didn't.
oh.
Hi.
Come on in!
That's okay.
It's just a corpse.
I know that.
My mother can't have any more kids.
What are you staring at?
It's Kevin, I don't want him to see me.
See you? He can smell you from there.
What's the matter?
He likes you.
Likes me? He said I looked like a grasshopper.
Boys always pretend they hate you when they really like you.
That's ridiculous, so, if you really can't stand someone, then you pretend that you're really crazy about them?
Hi.
Hi, wanna help me pick out wallpaper for my new room tomorrow?
Then what did she do?
So she had you in jail, in Russia?
Is it okay if I drink this?
It's okay with me, hi Kevin.
Vada, he was giving you an easy out so you wouldn't have to write about your mother.
But I wanna write about her.
You're crazy, what was her big achievement? Did she invent gravity?
Oh please, who do you think you're kidding? And where did she spy on the Russians from, here in Pennsylvania??
No, not here in Pennsylvania, she went to Russia undercover with her acting troupe and got a lot of highly sensitive secret plans sent back. Just when she was about to go home, she got caught, and they killed her.
All right, so when did she have you between all her acting and spying and getting caught?
Hello.
Hi.
What can I do for you?
Ehh...I'm staying at the chateau and the guy who runs the garage there said that you're the best Jag people in town...so uhm.
Well Enrique is great and...we are the best.
Then I have come to the right place.
I guess you have.
I'm Sam Helburn. Sam.
This is really very nice of you.
If it's in here at all, it's in the back two rows.
O.K. Thank you very much.
He's writing. Hello?
If you're selling Girl Scout cookies I'm borderline diabetic.
Hi there...can I help you?
Vada?
Vada what about you, who have you come up with?
My mother.
Your mother?
Hey Vada. How's your report coming?
Great, I have so much to say, I hardly know where to start.
You know I've been re-reading Virginia Woolf, I think she'd be a natural for you, she led a fascinating life.
Thanks, but I think I'm gonna stick to my mom, she led a fascinating life too.
Thanks
Give it back Nicholas!
But we made a business deal.
Nicholas! What are you doing up?
I...ahhh...umm...I'm thirsty.
There's water in your bathroom.
I want juice!
Don't wake up Vada.
If the fruit burst into flames I'll be prepared.
You're grounded 'till you're fifty!
You're over reacting!
Make that sixty and I'm docking your allowance for two weeks.
MOM!
Thanks....
No THANKS!
He said it was a gift.
Yeah, RIGHT.
I don't need you to be telling me to...
My parents had a brief, but intensely fulfilling relationship. She's remained a woman of mystery to this day.
And you're gonna solve the mystery?
You know eavesdropping is a very unattractive habit.
I wasn't eavesdropping, I was overhearing.
I didn't ask for the money, Phil just gave it to me.
Getting off please.
They obviously have no sense of historical perspective either.
It's not funny! I mean what am I gonna do? Without that yearbook I'm lost. I can't just walk around town looking for someone with a Wilson High School Letter sweater!!!
Vada.
WHAT??
I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm getting a nose bleed from the altitude.
Just remember the needle in the haystack.
I never did understand that story, did someone find the needle or not?
What difference does it make?
A big difference, if someone found it we should keep looking, if they didn't we're just wasting our time.
Look, here she is. Margaret Ann Muldovan - Newspaper, Literary magazine, French Club, Drama Club, Debate Club, Girls Basketball and Swim team. With Maggie's combo of good looks and talent, we're sure to be seeing her name in lights. She was gonna be famous.
Yearbooks always set you out for disappointment, I want mine to say: Nick probably won't amount to much, so don't be surprised if you never hear anything about him again. Can we go?...It smells like someone left their gym bag in here.
It's the leather bindings, I love the fragrance of vintage books.
Don't forget, the girls change their names if they got married.
I'd never do that.
Get married?
Change my name.
I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can always find them when you need them.
What if you don't wanna be found?
You saved a lot of lives, you should be very proud.
You ratted on my mother??
Care for a smoke?
This'll be great in my report, my mother was suspended for smoking.
I think it's cool.
You would.
Just call us the &quot;dead end kids&quot;.
Boy, you're really into this.
If he has a heart attack you're carrying the body down yourself.
Look at it this way, however bad I feel, it isn't as bad as becoming extinct in a bottomless pit of tar.
And I thought I was weird.
You are weird. Let's just go.
Hey what do I care...I mean, consider the sorts, a chick from Pennsylvania, who wears a mood ring.
This isn't just a mood ring.
Does it work?
Well, it doesn't open cans or anything but it...it's sort of a reminder of a friend of mine.
Boyfriend?
Do you think your friend's up in Heaven now, looking down on you and watching you all the time?
Well, I hope he's not watching me all the time.
Let me see if it changes colors on me.
Maybe it'll fit my pinkie.
Don't force it, you'll break it.
I'm not gonna break it, I just wanna see it change colors.
Hey relax, I'm not gonna break it.
Give it to me!
Come and get it.
Just give it to me!!
Just come and get it...right here!
Woah, watch it!
DON'T!!!
Uh oh...
What do you mean &quot;Uh Oh&quot;???
...I dropped it.
In the tar??
Where are you going???
What are you doing? You can't go in there!
It's dangerous!!
You mean, this ring?
Never heard of her.
Montgomery Clift, wait 'till I tell Shelly.
My mother stood on this very spot.
I'm afraid your feet won't fit in there.
That's 'cause I was cursed with the Sultenfuss Bear Claws. My hands fit.
What's he smoking?
What do you think?
Hey look!
Right.
And you'd be my cousin?
Yeah I guess...sort of.
But we wouldn't really be related right?
Oh no, we wouldn't be from the same bloodlines or anything. We'd be like two total strangers who...accidentally had relatives that got married.
Good. I mean...
Marriage can really complicate things. So, aren't you gonna say anything about my earrings?
It's not his fault!
No, but sometimes he drives a hearse.
Maybe not...but maybe it does. If no one told me about this, I mean...maybe they're trying to hide something.
Like what?
That thing you said about your nose...it was a stranger's nose...well it's not...it's...I mean...it's yours...you know?
Nick?
Yeah?
And I'm gonna use the movies when I give my report. Jeffrey says audiences love special effects.
...umm...Listen, I'm sorry...you had to sacrifice your entire vacation.
Some sacrifices are worth it.
You mean...it wasn't that terrible?
I wouldn't say it was terrible...it was...kind of...
An adventure?
Write me a poem?

No?
I'll write you ten poems. Bye.
Muh??
What's that?
Ten bucks.
What's it for?
For the mini-bike fund.
Wow!
Well I know you're not crazy about taking Vada around tomorrow, so...I just want you to know I appreciate it though.
No problem.
You're a good man Nicholas.
Well Rose was being very thorough.
Doctor Helburn, what a surprise. In the last couple of days we've changed your oil, realigned your brakes, balanced and rotated your tires, aligned your front end, and flushed out your entire cooling system, I really didn't expect to be seeing you for another three thousand miles.
Okay, that does it, that does it, the strudel does it, first it's brakes then.... I mean I am not gonna let some Podiatrist with a Jaguar full of strudel come waltzing in here and....
I'm not a Podiatrist, I'm a Cardiologist.
Who cares? Rose, tell him we have an arrangement.
And you certainly shouldn't settle for anything less that you deserve.
You stay out of this, look, if I had a red XK-150 with a black interior, I sure as hell wouldn't be handing out relationship advice.
I don't think the color of the interior is....
Vada!! Vada runs and jumps into Phil's arms Look at you, oh hi, hi, hi!! How are you? You look great, how's Shelly? Your dad?
They're great.
How about Nick? Did he take good care of you?
He was very polite, worth the entire five dollars.
She lives here too?
Ahh, that's right, like one big happy family. This is Nick's room and uhh....
But...are you engaged or something?
Sounds like you have a fear of commitment, Uncle Phil.
That's ridiculous, I'm...I'm very, umm, what do you call it?
Committed?
Committed.
So does that mean that you sleep here every night?
Well then that's not exactly dating is it.
I had to be, I only have five days. So just point me in the right direction and....
Lock the door.
Uhh sweetie, I wou... I wou...I wou...
I feel like before I can talk to him I have to see his face.
How's this for a solution. We'll take a drive over to his place, you can introduce yourself....
I'd like to see his house but...I don't know if I'd have the nerve to just go up and knock on his door. I don't think I can go through with it.
Do you think I should tell my dad about Jeffrey Pommeroy?
Maybe.
Then again, your dad's got his own memories and he's got his own life now...I think this is a secret just between you and your mom.
A secret, I like that.
This is it I guess.
Well, I've come this far...the least I can do is knock on the door.
You want me to come with?
I should do this myself.
Okay...take your time...I'll...I'll go for a walk around.
No, you're the best and I don't want you talking to anybody on the plane.
Dad already gave me this lecture. He's gonna meet me at the airport, then we'll go for some pizza, then we'll have dinner in bed with Shelly.
Who knew that when I started working in the finest foreign car shop in LA, I would also find the light of my life.
Yeah, well he left out a couple of steps, ah look, I've gotta get back to these bills, Phil will you help Vada get settled?
Then you'll be all set.
No, there's no problem, Dr. Helburn just needs to have his oil changed.
What's with the touching, why was he touching you?
He wasn't touching me he was just...gesturing...
He was caressing.
Phil for God sake.
God? No I didn't think you'd want to invoke God Rose, because he saw even more than I did. ROSE Look Phil, if you want the rights of a husband, you're gonna have to ask me something but if not, you're gonna have to get accustomed to the rights of what you are.
Oh...what's that?
Hi!
Oh, yeah, sure, help yourself.
We may go out for coffee after the meeting so don't expect us before midnight.
There's plenty of fruit.
Wait, are you saying that I don't appreciate?
I'm saying he asked me out for coffee, like a real date, when was the last time you did that?
Wha...what do you mean? We have a date every night.
Yes, what kind of arrangement? I'd be very interested to know what kind of an arrangement we have.
You know exactly...what kind it is. Come on Rose...what do you want from me?
I think this place is just fine.
You know how I feel about you.
You really think I look sexy in this smock?
You're Nick's mother?
I'm just tired.
Go to your room. And you...I don't suppose your father gave you permission to pierce your ears, did he?
Not exactly.
Shelly's sick...I have to get to the bottom of this whole thing and get back there.
She'll be all right baby.
Bye Aunt Rose.
So what's wrong?
Nothing, nothing at all.
I mean...with your car.
Oh, ahh, oil change, I...ehh...I just drove in from Chicago and uhh...nice hair.
Excuse me?
I was commenting on your hair.
Oh, are you a hairdresser?
I'm a pediatric cardiologist.
Oh, you mean you...fix the hearts...of little babies?
...It's all in the hands really. You know you have nice hands, you operate?
Yes, I do.
Ahh, Dr. Helburn, why don't you come in tomorrow-morning at eight o'clock, that's when we open, we'll get you started.
Good morning.
Well maybe for you.
Something wrong?
Well let's just say you're lucky you deal with children who are under anesthesia.
Oh no, I, I...eh...I couldn't.
You couldn't?
Well I'm sort of involved.
Sort of?
Let's just say I...eh...I'm involved.
Where I come from, involvement...generally calls for a substantial piece of jewelry.
Oh, well, I don't wear a lot of jewelry.
All right, so you don't like jewelry but...eh...you do like...eh...good music. Liszt, one of my favorites.
Lizt was my parents' favorite, they were Hungarian.
Ahh, why don't I come in first thing in the morning and you can check out that left blinker for me.
Oh, sure okay.
Assuming the baby's a &quot;Supremes&quot; fan.
They're enormous, I know.
Is there milk in them already?
No, the milk comes when the baby comes.
When did you umm, I mean umm...
Oh, I was a very late developer, they used to call me &quot;Shelly Two Backs&quot;. All my friends had real bra's, not like the training ones I had.
Why do they call them training bra's? It's not like learning to ride a bike.
I know, I guess it's just sort of preparing you for the rest of your life. It's not easy being a woman.
Then Grammoo said on Christmas Eve, there was this sickening smell permeating the entire house.
Mmmmmm. Root beer float that sounds good.
What's this? December 8th, 1958?
I don't know, Dad doesn't either.
Well, it must mean something. She was obviously very sentimental.
This is one of my favorite things, her passport.
Margaret's my middle name, but everybody called her Maggie. Los Angeles, have you ever been there?
No. You know they say, that it never rains, that you can barbecue on Christmas day...instead of riding your bike, you just surf over to your friends house. Oh, and the place is just crawling with celebrities. I know someone who saw Walter Matthau picking up his dry-cleaning.
Is that why Uncle Phil moved there?
Uncle Phil just needed a change, a little adventure.
I wonder why she got a passport if she never went anywhere.
Well you've gotta be prepared.
Why not now?
What do you mean?
How would you like to go visit your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles...next week during your spring vacation, you could do research on your mom.
But what about you and the baby? You need me.
Oh, but I'm not due to have the baby for another six weeks or so.
Yeah, it would be kinda great.
It would be fantastic.
But Dad'll never go for it.
Shelly?
Hey! Oh look.
He's so tiny.
Did it hurt a lot?
Let me hold him.
Really?
Beidermeyer?
Beidermeyer that's it, what a mad man.
He's a great poet.
He is?
Do you know him?
Everybody did, walk along Citrus between Fountain and Sunset any afternoon.
No it doesn't but... I...I wish it did.
Well, thanks for your help Mr. Rosenfeld and I'm sorry my mother wouldn't go out with you, I'm sure she would have had a really great time.
I would have tried to show her a good time. I promised her when she left that I would never forget her and I never did. Stanley Rosenfeld does not forget.
Arthur!!
Vada!!
I beat Thomas J in monopoly yesterday.
Good for you baby.
Once you put the hotels on board walk and Park Place he puts a shoe in your way.
Wanna play?
Yeah, to play with his DOLLS.
Hey, you didn't pay me!
How do I know you were gonna show us one?
You're such a baby.
Of what??
Uhh, it's nice to meet ya. Uhh, we got burgers and hot dogs here if you'd care to join us?
Danny?
WHAT?
Okay, I know you've suffered a terrible loss, and there's really nothing anyone can do to comfort you, but I urge you to focus on the times you had with the camper, the trips you took, the sights you saw, those days are gone now, but they'll live on in your heart forever.
Oh.. Oh.. Oh no?? Oh?
It's her home! It's where she lives!!
What am I doing here????? What am I doing here?
Hi Ralph. Oh Danny, how'd you find me here?
I've been living in it for over a year, the camper is mine.
Excuse me, MUTUAL ASSET, that's what the lawyer said, it's supposed to be &quot;OUR MUTUAL ASSET&quot;, not &quot;Shelly's recreational vehicle&quot;. Gimme the keys.
Keep your voice down!
What?
The boss is watching us...
I'm impressed.
God I guess i'll have to introduce you now.
This is Harry, Phil, Grammoo and Vada Sultenfuss...
Ex...ex, ex...
You are perfectly healthy.
That can't be, I have all the classic symptoms.
Sweetheart, did they bring Mr. Layton to your house today?
Yes.
Can't you see it?
No.
It's there.
Dr. Welty!!!? Dr. Welty??
Vada, what's wrong sweetheart?
I can't breathe, I'm suffocating.
It hurts, it hurts so bad, make it stop.
What Hurts Vada?
It's still available I hope?
I think it's still available.
I'm a licensed cosmetologist, I worked for two years, at the &quot;Dino Raphael&quot; Salon, all my customers cried when I told them I was leaving.
Uhh, Miss devoto...
I have a wonderful disposition, I put people right at ease.
Uhh, Miss devoto, these people are already at ease. This is not a Beauty Parlor, it's a Funeral Parlor.
They're dead?
Yes they are.
Stiffs??
Deceased.
Excuse me, what about the job?
Pardon?
I need the job.
Oh, You still want it? Even though uhh...
Ohh, oh sure it's no big deal, you see all my former clients will eventually die, and all your clients used to be alive, so they have something in common.
You'd be doing hair and makeup and answering the phone.
Okay Mr. Sultenfuss, you got a deal.
Great, you can start right away. Call me Harry. Now, umm, is this what you'd normally wear for work? Don't get me wrong, I like it, very much, but the....
Uh huh?
Could you take a look at Mrs. Porter?
You don't like it?
This was the Reverend Porter's wife, you have her looking like a two dollar hooker.
I think she looks nice! Her lips are very thin so I used the gloss to give them a more sensual quality, and her eyes just needed a little definition, and her hair, I'm sorry, nobody wears this hairdo anymore in 1972.
She did. This photo was taken a month ago at the church food drive.
I just wanted to get past this &quot;old school Marm&quot; image.
Harry? I was just wondering, if there is anything wrong with Vada.
What do you mean??
Well the other night at dinner...
Oh that, she just likes to play.
I don't think so, I think she's confused about death.
She was raised in a funeral home, she knows a thing or two about it.
Harry, I really think she.....
Can not do without, Harry's wild about me.
Excuse me Harry, I'm sorry, I just wanna let you know that the flowers were delivered. And the room's all set up.
Thanks, listen I wanna apologize for the other day downstairs, about Vada, I was a little harsh.
I shouldn't stick my nose in other people's business. It's just that I like Vada, very much.
After my wife died, Grammoo moved in here to help take care of Vada. They were very close, but lately as her mind's been wandering more and more, Vada's been acting kinda crazy. I'm sure she'll snap out of it though.
Hi.
Oh Hi, what can I do for you?
Nothing, I was just wondering what you were doing.
Oh, I'm just typing up a funeral notice, you know when someone dies people want it in the paper usually, it's a service we provide for the family.
Oh right, right, . Bader Lorenzo Died June 22 1972 Devoted husband to Nicolette. Cherished father of Babritzio and Heidi, In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the holy names society.
I wrote that.
Oh it's good, &quot;In lieu of&quot; I love that word lieu.
I prefer it to &quot;instead&quot;, it has more dignity.
In lieu... &quot;instead&quot;.... No contest.
It's no big deal.
You have to learn how to take a complement. Movies, movies, ahhhh, &quot;Love Story&quot; at the drive in, I cried my eyes out, did you see it?
I haven't been to the movies in AGES.
I do enjoy playing bingo, if you'd like to join me for a game tomorrow night at church you're welcome to.
Does it make it easier to win?
I just had a terrible thought Harry.
What's that?
I'm gonna be putting makeup on some of these people very soon.
Oh, I'm just not lucky Harry.
Look, it's not always luck, I mean, depending upon the placement of the numbers, a guy with 10 cards could win just as easily as a guy with 100.
Kinda like men.
Oh, how do you mean?
I had a good time tonight.
Would you like to come in and see my house? Just for a minute.
Home sweet home.
It's nice.
I did it myself. I read a magazine article about how to maximize small spaces.
Well it certainly looks bigger that it seems.
Yeah.
Are you mad at me?
No, why?
I don't know, tonight you just seemed a little cool, not opening car doors and...
Oh, that was Phil, trying to give me advice on dating 70's women. Look I'm so out of touch, I haven't dated women in ages, not since my wife died.
What happened to her?
Ahh, complications during child birth, she died two days after Vada was born.
Did she ever see Vada?
Dance with me?
Here?
This is where we are.
I haven't danced in.....
Rock?
See, you're not that out of touch. You're good.
What are you wearing?
Do you want to?
Want to what?
Kiss me.
Yes.
I ahh, better go.
It's only eight o'clock.
Goodnight Shelly.
I'm tired of bingo, maybe we should try that drive in of yours.
I'm just picking some things up for the barbecue.
Yeah, me too, mind if I tag along?
Not at all. Lot of potatoes!
It's for Shelly's famous potato salad.
You know this is gonna be my first 4th of July picnic in a long time.
How's it going chef?
Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay God.
Shelly?
Danny that's a real _bonehead_ thing to say!
Well, you were pretty great!
Can we see it from the back yard?
Yep, there they are... They always look the same every year...
Pointing upwards Look...
Did you ahh, love him?
Watch you don't knock out a fish.
Perfect.
Open your eyes, she's eleven years old! Her only friend in the world is dead.
I know that, but what do you want from me?
Stop hiding Harry, you run Harry. When I first came here, the idea of working with dead people, didn't exactly thrill me, but when I saw a family lived here, I thought, &quot;if I'm living without a family, at least I can work with one, and maybe once in a while i'll be invited in for supper.&quot;
Yeah, and when those suppers are disrupted because there's a car crash, or there's a fire, or a little boy steps on a beehive.
I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a Truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And i've learned to live with this chicken Bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years, so I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction. Dad, I don't wanna upset you, but my left breast is developing
Ahem.
Daddy guess what I beat Thomas J in monopoly yesterday.
Vada, we're trying to work here.
Cruella deville stole all the puppies, she was gonna make a fur out of 'em!
VADA!
Dad?
Daddy, how come that coffin's so small?
They come in all sizes honey, just like shoes.
Of course not.
Daddy, can I have thirty five dollars?
That's a lot of money for a little girl.
It's for school, for summer writing class.
Shelly thinks I'd be a good writer.
Dad?
I love this guy!
Dad??
What?
The money?
Goodnight Vada.
Dad, why are you dressed up to go to bingo?
Ahh, I just wanna look nice.
You never cared before.
Well Shelly's coming over, we're gonna go together.
Why?
She likes to play bingo.
Can I go too?
HEY, OUCH, damn it!! Vada, watch what you're doing.
Dad, didn't you say you needed prunes REAL bad?
Are they ready yet?
When?
When??
Yes..
I like the freak show.
We're having the wedding sometime near the end of the summer.
I fall asleep at the wheel.
Hi Vada.
Hi.
What are you doing.
Feeding my fish.
Is that the fish you won at the carnival?
Yes.
Vada, something happened to Thomas J last night, he stepped on a beehive.
Maybe I should go over and yell at him.
No sweetheart, you can't.
Why not?
He was allergic to bees.
He's okay isn't he?
He's gone sweetheart. He's gone!
Did I kill my mother?
What??
The bees killed Thomas J, and I killed my mother.
I found this.
I forgot about that picture, where did you find it?
In the garage.
Ahh, that little Chevy was your mothers favorite car.
What was my mama like?
She was pretty, and kind, she had your eyes. Oh boy did she love to laugh. Sometimes when you laugh, you sound just like her.
Really?
Uh huh. You know what your mother did when she found out she was gonna have you? She came home and painted this whole room pink. She was so sure she was gonna have a little girl.
Do you miss her?
Yes, I did, very much for a long time, and even now, I get a little sad when I think of a pretty flower or a sunset that your mother would have liked.
I think every time I see a climbing tree i'll think of Thomas J.
Well well well, what's going on in here?
Nothing, I'm dressing.
Oh yes, oh that's great.
I'm very nervous.
Why?
The last date I had was twenty years ago.
That's true. Harry Harry sit down, let me fill you in on today's women, since the last time you dated, something happened, &quot;The Sexual Revolution&quot;, now before that, you used to have to hold a door open for a woman, pull her chair out, pick up the check, no more no more, you wanna know what else is missing? BRAS!
Oh come on.
Harry, I'm serious, trust me Harry this woman's lifting us in, you gotta treat her like every Tom Dick and Harry.
Are you sure about all this?
Did you not tell Vada I'm a womanizer huh?
Oh, I'm running late. Shelly'll be here any minute.
Oh she's picking you up, good you're on the right track.
No, she's just driving over here, then we're taking my car. How do I look?
Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry, I told you to use fewer briquettes and now look what you've done. You've cremated them.
That's what I do. Do you wanna do it??
No, no no....
Hi.
Hi, is Vada home?
Yes she is, but she's very upset, so she's not seeing anyone.
Oh, I'm Judy, I go to school with her, I wanted to tell her I'm sorry about Thomas J.
Well maybe she'll feel better in a couple of days.
Will you tell her I came by?
Sure.
Thank you. Bye.
Mademoiselle Sultenfuss and the amazing Dr. J! How's the summer treating you?
It's okay. Mr. Bixler, I finished all the books for summer reading.
Really? Already? The summer's just begun.
Yes, and now I'm reading War &amp; Peace for fun.
Mr. Bixler, how come you're painting this old house?
Well I just bought it, now I'm fixing it up.
This is one big house for one single person.
Well, you never can tell... I might get a pet.
How are you gonna get the money for this old house if you're not working?
Well I'm gonna teach creative writing this summer, so, I'm doing some work.
How much does it cost?
Thirty five dollars.
What do you get for that?
Me, two hours a week, talking about poetry. This an interrogation Vada?
No. Well, guess i'll go home and finish off War &amp; Peace.
I paid the money.
For this class?
Uh huh, I wanna be a writer.
Uhhh, va, uhh, Vada.
I wrote a poem too.
Please.
Okay, okay we don't have to talk about him, Vada, Vada we don't have to talk about him, it's okay. We won't talk about him all right?
Justin and Ronda say that I should tell people what I feel.
Mr. Bixler, I love you.
Oh, Vada...
I love you like my Dad loves Shelly. I wanna live here.
Pause as he takes all this in I think your Dad would miss you.
Who's that?
No....
I...I was gonna bring her to class next week. I wanted to hear your poem. Oh Vada, please honey I cared for him too, Vada please! Vada, Vada sweetheart don't.....
I can't stay, I just came to read my poem.
We'd love to hear it.
So you fill it with water like this, and what have you got? A water gun.
Cool, can I get one for Vada?
Cause she's dying.
Do you think she is?
No.
Why do you think she says that?
Cause she gets scared of all those dead people in her house, and you know that saying, If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, well if she's one of them, she won't be as scared.
He must like Shelly, I never saw him hit anyone in his life.
He likes her.
Does he love her?
Probably.
Do you like her?
Yes I do, and I think she's very good for your father.
Why?
After your mother died, he was sad all the time, but before that, he was pretty funny.
Really?
Now when I see him with Shelly, sometimes he seems like the old Harry.
My Dad was funny?
Is that your camper?
Yes it is.
She's shy.
Who's winning?
You know Vada, you shouldn't let those girls upset you.
He's allergic to everything.
Ooh, that's a pretty ring you're wearing.
Maybe black means you're happy?
Shut your big fat mouth!
I think you'd make a fine writer, did you ask your Dad?
He won't give it to me.
Vada? VADA?? What happened??
My ball, I lost my ball.
Hi.
Can we look around in your camper?
Big Ringo fan.
Ohh, right. Would you like a soda?
I would.
Did you read ALL these books?
Uh huh.
What are they about?
Are you married?
No, I'm divorced.
Daddy said it's bad when people get divorced.
Bye. Well Miss Vada, what d'you say we head back?
Can I use your bathroom first?
Sure.
You don't have to wait, daddy'll be mad if you're late.
Are you going out somewhere?
No.
So how come you're putting lipstick on?
A girl's always gotta look her best.
I think lipstick looks fake, no-ones lips are that color.
Have you ever tried any?
No.
Shelly, do you think I'm pretty?
Yes, Vada I think you're very pretty. You've got these great big sparkling eyes, the cutest little nose, an amazing mouth.
The boys at school don't think I am.
They'll come around. Close your eyes, I wanna bring out the gorgeous color in them. The first rule in applying eye makeup, is you can never wear enough blue eye shadow.
Do you like putting makeup on people?
Ssshhhhh, I don't want them to see me.
Hey, I thought I recognized you two, hi Vada.
Hey Shelly, like seafood?
Uh huh, why?
I like my name.
This is Danny and Ralph, they own the Dino Raphael salon in Detroit. We used to be married.
I don't think that that roller coaster agreed with your bad stomach. You know Vada you have to watch what you eat here, I remember one time I went to a carnival with my cousins David and Frank, and they both ate hot dogs, and the next day they came down with nephritis.
Nephritis? It's a kidney disease, you don't get it from hot dogs.
I won, I won!!!
Vada? Would you like us to get you another goldfish?
NO!
Daddy??!?!?!
Vada, Vada, what's the matter?
Where's Daddy?
Well he just left, what's wrong?
I'm hemorrhaging.
What do you mean you're hemorrhaging?
How old are you?
I'm eleven and a half.
My Mommy and Daddy did THAT?
It's actually a very beautiful thing, and look there wouldn't have been a Vada.
I think it should be outlawed.
It's okay sweetheart.
I'll pay it back, besides, I don't think i'll ever go to class again.
I'll tell you what, you dedicate your first book to me, and we'll forget about the whole thing.
I will I promise.
Goodnight.
Thomas J?
I'm allergic to it.
Wow, this is the coolest thing, like you really eat and sleep here?
Uh huh.
I'm gonna drive us to Liverpool.
Eeeeuuuww, gross.
Well, I guess you found my secret hiding place.
What are you saving for?
Oh great!
I knew he wouldn't come.
Hey look at this, no feet!
At what?
That's Mr. Bixler, let's go talk to him.
I don't wanna talk to a teacher, it's summer!
No, I'm going home.
Why? It's not dinner time yet.
It doesn't work, it always stays black.
She's crazy, she wants to go to school over the summer.
It's not a real school, it's a writing class, I wanna be a writer.
Maybe they had a big breakfast.
I'm gonna be an acrobat when I grow up.
Big deal, I can do that too. Thomas J, you got something!
Oh no! UUH.
Hurry!
I'm trying.
Reel it in. He's only tiny, throw him back.
Yeah he got away. Come on let's go.
Hey, we can become blood brothers.
Naah, I don't wanna.
You could pick that scab on your arm.
It's a mosquito bite.
It'll bleed.
If I do it, can we go?
Uh huh.
Your lip bleeding?
No.
What's wrong with your eyes?
A girl can never wear enough eye shadow.
Where's your bike?
Hey look at this!
That was Grammoo's. It's a phrenology chart, they used to study the bumps in your head to see if you had a good personality or not. Come here, i'll diagnose your head.
No, I don't wanna.
Hmmmm, interesting.
What?
You have no personality.
Hey, where does it say that?
Is that your Dad?
Yes.
Who's that with your Dad?
It's my mother.
Do you remember her?
No. Grammoo said she's in heaven.
What do you think it's like?
What?
Heaven.
I think, everybody gets their own white horse, and all they do is ride and eat marshmallows all day, and everybody's best friends with everybody else, when you play sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last.
But, what if you're afraid to ride horses?
It doesn't matter, 'cause they're not regular horses, they got wings, and it's no big deal if you fall, you just land in cloud.
Here.
Don't DO that!!
Sorry.
What do you want? My mom will skin me alive if she finds I'm out here.
Let's go to the church, they're playing bingo tonight.
I told you i'll get in trouble.
Pacifist!
I am not.
Bed wetter!
They're not gonna let us in Vada, we're kids.
We're not gonna bet, we're just gonna watch.
Watch bingo? I don't even like to play bingo.
Can we go yet?
Go???
Hey Vada, guess what we got?
THIS!!
Woah!!
What?
Pointing There's a beehive right there!
So?
Are you crazy, you'll get stung!!
You're right, let's knock it down.
What do you want it for anyway?
Got it!
Run faster they're after us!!
I am running faster!!
Jump in the water!!
But I have my clothes on!
Hi Vada.
Hi, wanna ride bikes?
Come on, let's go.
Bye Mrs. Sennett.
California, I'm going to Hollywood to live with the Brady Bunch.
I wanna live with them too.
No, you can't, they have enough kids, you'll have to live with the Partridge Family.
Get up!?
Why are you running away?
My Dad gave Shelly a ring.
Wow, was it a decoder ring?
You're such a retard, it was an engagement ring.
So now you'll have a mother.
I don't like her.
I do, she's real funny.
He likes her better than me.
I'm hungry, I can't last any longer.
Then go home, baby.
I have to anyway, my mom will be worried.
Leave then, some friend you are.
You can come to my house for dinner?
No, I'm hiding out.
Oh, that's probably Thomas J, I don't wanna see him. It's not fair. Nothing happens to boys.
Hi Vada, can you come out?
I dunno..
Well when you get older, you just have to.
I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.
You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law.
It is not.
Yes it is, cause then he'll give you all A's and it won't be fair.
Not true.
Have you ever kissed anyone?
Like they do on TV?
Uh huh.
No.
Maybe we should, just to see what's the big deal.
But, I don't know how.
Like this?
Uh huh. Okay, enough practice.
Close your eyes.
Just do it.
Okay, okay.
Say something it's too quiet.
Umm, Ummmmm
You better not either.
Well, let's spit on it.
Seeya tomorrow.
Okay, seeya. Vada?
What?
Would you think of me?
For what?
Yeah, it's in the contract.
... trouser width, this is all classic. Which means safe, something I'd wear.
I should look different.
And I'm supposed to respect your fashion tips, because you're what, a New Yorker?
Long trip. Pretty nice of you to come.
What?
Stay, huh?
I honestly wish I could...
You don't miss much.
Is it ever embarrassing, having your bum kissed in public?
Is it sad to be an editor, and bask only in reflected insincerity?
See the pull of a book like Twenty Chefs, is not who I put in. It's who I leave out.
Which is everyone you couldn't get in.
Needs salt.
Is Newsday a real interview, or just some cute guy you're setting me up w...
Sometimes I do. Like for two months.
No, no, the opposite. That's my best friend, Michael O'Neal. He sounds desperate to talk.
Nine years, we've seen each other through everything. Losing jobs, losing parents, losing lovers... travelled all over, we've had the best times. The best times of my life, maybe. Just drinking and talking. Even over a phone.
Kindred spirits.
He's the salt of the earth. Kind and loyal and generous. The one constant thing in my life, is he'll always be there.
Whenever George tells someone how steadfast I am, he always makes me sound boring.
I've lost interest.
Blood oath.
You think...
He's not proposing marriage, there's no way I'm buying one word of th...
He can't do that to me!
We'll never be the same.
I have a suggestion...
You have no appropriate sense of emergency. My best friend is ruining his life.
No, he's ruining yours.
Same difference. If you love someone, it's your duty to save them from themselves.
You have a real philosophy of life.
He's adored me for nine goddamn years.
I can see why.
Chill. We don't want your face coming off with it.
Chill? Since when do you say ch...
You flew all the way h...
I noticed. I'm on the noon back. We have this thing with George's family in the Hamptons.
What I mean, when I say annoyingly perfect, is that there is nothing annoying about her perfection. It is vulnerable and endearing. And that is annoying as shit.
You like her.
I was devastated.
Go figure you.
There are 18,250 nights in the next 50 years...
You've been working on this, huh?
This is my whole life's happiness. I have to be ruthless.
And you believe that.
He was in love with me every day for nine years. I can make him happier than she can.
It's not his happiness you're feeling guilty about...
I don't know the meaning of the word guilt!
Impressive.
I am breaking her heart in the short run, but doing her a gigantic favor! She would be miserable tagging along after this insensitive doofus!
The man you love.
Beyond reason. The feminist warrior will rise up in this kid, and she'll be standing over his sleeping form with a butcher knife, selecting from a short list of body parts!
Someday she'll thank you.
Jesus. You're supposed to take your make-up off before you apply the m...
Zit cream?
I wish.
Neosporin?
Try less appropriate.
Ben Gay.
Elmer's Glue?
I give.
How do you know you can touch that plug? Are you a licensed contractor?
I suppose it's too late to start over.
Two words.
Major. Dish.
You're going to say it, aren't you?
Tell him you love him. With all your heart.
I'm taking my next book to Viking.
Tell him you've loved him for nine years, but you were afraid to realize it.
I'm moving this book to Viking.
Tell him you're afraid of love. Afraid of needing.
Needing.
Tell him you know this is the worst, dumbest, cruelest moment to do this to him. But there it is, and he has to choose.
Digger and George are with family in the Hamptons until Monday morning. Brevity is even more in order than usual.
I did what I came to do.
I'll think about it. I'm okay.
All I've heard, from the day I met Michael, is Julianne this, and Julianne that...
Well, we're...
My heart's in my throat, here. Right off, I have to ask this monstrous favor...
Excuse me?
But I can't be dry.
Can you watch the road?
This is a very presumptuous and burdensome fav...
You can't believe what it'd cost to bring in a temp.
The bridesmaids are my only two female relatives under forty. Identical twin debutantes from Nashville, who are basically vengeful sluts. With amazing bodies!
Which was the disqualifying factor?
I thought bridesmaids had to wear the same dress.
What else did he tell you...
That's why Michael and I were the wrong fit. Right from the start.
Don't you have to be somewh...
... luckiest guy in the Northern Fucking Hemisphere, is all I'm s...
What? Because I'm a little understand...
I'm excited Sports Illustrated gave him this kind of shot, he's only there a ye...
It depends. If San Antonio sweeps Sacramento, we could start there. Or Phoenix. Or depending on Indiana- Clevel...
Well. You've been introduced to the symphonic range of...
How about...
He sucks soup through his front teeth.
A trademark move, don't touch it.
But he sure can kiss.
It's been awhile. I'll take your word.
And loving him means loving all of this.
Do you get nervous in small confined spaces?
So it's sweet of you to be protective...
Let me rephrase that...
But nothing ever could, ever did, give me a moment's pause about this marriage...
Do you get hysterical in small confined spa...
You'll always be there. In his mind. The perfect creature he loved for all those y...
Well, perfection can get wearing after whi...
I'm not joking. I had to face up to all my competitive drives, and believe me, I've got 'em.
No.
And the answer was so simple.
I was gonna predict that.
You're enshrined in his heart and memory. Unassailable. Which works out great.
I've missed a step.
Jesus, we're trapped!
Ju...
It's not just clubs. This guy always knows the best everything. The best guitar store, the best beef ribs, the best Horowitz record, was he always like the...
... always. The best dim sum, the best camping stuff...
Stop, we're embarrassing h...
About Michael's job.
Oh, that. I forgot I even said th...
I just think you're wrong, is all.
I mean, he loves his job.
But he always says...
For the twins? What in the world is th...
Gold dog collars? They don't have dogs.
So... one almost has to...
Exactly.
Exactly what?
He'll see right through it.
In six months, he'll be happy, settled, successful...
Your call. You can live a lie. In a fabulous selection of Red Roof Inns. Or you can make one desperate stab at hap...
Uh, Kimmy...?
Look at all this beautiful food, so lovingly prepared...
Who? The jerk who's running your life?
This must be... very, very, hard on him.
When are you gonna come clean with your folks?
Don't you see...
If you're waiting for "Do you take this man?", that's considered poor form.
Yeah, well, lots of couples are imcompat...
In one minute. You are going to feel so foolish.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH MY HEART?
I never want to go through this again.
Have you sized up the groomsmen, Jules? As M. of H., you get first fuck. Don't pick the short, hairy, rich one.
Well. See. That was a... reflex to see if it would...
... look good on Kimberly.
I saw the show.
Wallace egregious residence, Mandy speaking.
It's Jules, you guys haven't had a call from, say, Kimberly, have you?
Ex-cuse me?
I had this crank call? From some guy who thinks he saw her? I said, what would a bride be doin', on her wedding...
If he gives you grief, I'll have him skillfully beaten, where the wounds won't show.
I guess getting him whacked would be politically out of the question.
Under the circumstances. Charmed to know you, Jules.
They both have some growing up to do. But they're good people, they're starting with love. They've got time.
Is anybody watching?
Julianne, reading my son-in-law's mail, is not something...
It's a fax from Sports Illustrated from Ben Isaacson, Michael's boss.
I think he's been fired.
It doesn't say th...
And you think he's kept this to himself.
Maybe. I should call Ben.
I thought Michael was picking me up.
I haven't caused... a problem, have I?
Well, you're a little early...
I've been calling for days!
Well, that's great. You haven't really had anybody since Dingbat Jennylee...
And she's all wrong for me!
Well, somet...
Well, sure.
But they're so down to earth, such wonderful people...
Michael, it's Wednesday night, you can't possibly be getting married on Su...
Well, the Sox are at home. SI's letting me do a profile on the Big Hurt. That's Frank...
Well, maybe we should talk ab...
Please come, please.
W...
What's the sec...
Best everything, Joe. But I'm going to dance with you.
I just admire your maturity, that's all. I mean, there are people who would find that kind of perfection boring. Day after day, year after year...
Luckily. The closer I watched, the more the fault came into focus. Each imperfection its own adorable slice of vulnerability.
Such as.
She's too genuine.
Hate that.
How can you trust someone you can never mistrust?
No matter how many times I leave the toilet seat up, she forgets and puts it down.
Endearingly absent-minded.
Every day. She makes the bed.
Quite the little eccentric.
Is there a coup de grace in here, somewh...
She admires. Tommy Lasorda.
Waiter! Check, please!
She finds him "personable."
Gimme like, eight and nine off the top ten list...
Where was that, Florence, huh?
The Vespa? Me hanging on behind in the rain all night?
Should I whistle down a cab?
Pretty amazing girl, you've got. Make that kind of sacrifice.
What, leaving school...
I mean Walter owns the Sox, cable sports... most girls in her spot would be angling to get Daddy to offer you some juicy gig right here in t...
I guess you're right. That would be deceitful... manipulative... controlling... emascula...
Still. All's fair in love and w...
You're not eating.
I never eat when I'm serene.
You never eat when you're despondent.
Last zoo we were in was... Beijing, yeah? Sure. The rhinos were fucking.
It's weird being the groom. All these things Kimmy has to take care of...
Wow and wow. You have a date, after this?
Why don't you start being honest for one fucking sec...
No problem. A little bullshit about Daddy's "needs," and presto, I'm a lap dog in high society.
Michael, it sounds like a wonderful opportun...
You guys are heartless, my bride picked this out.
Big weddings are so strange.
Kim has all this stuff to do, I hardly see her.
You miss her, huh?
Don't you throw up on boat?
I've been thinking a lot the last couple days. About us, actually.
Well. There's a lot of memories to choose from...
You've sort of been... y'know, the woman in my life.
And I was thinking this could be our last time. Alone. Together. You know?
Except for the hot affairs we'll have twice a year.
I can hardly wait for your wedding.
I wouldn't know. I never had that many first thoughts.
Dance card filled?
Where did we first hear th...
So we heard it... like, right that... that first...
Takes me back.
No accents today.
Will she like it?
It's no big deal, she just gave you the wrong keys that's s...
I'm up against a deadline.
Me, too. I'm getting married tomorrow.
I forgot how cute you look. When you get impossible.
We could use... his computer, to... just E-mail those suckers right ou...
Listen up, huh? Even if you blow this deal, how big could it be?
This thing means that much to y...
The fax is from Ben, too. Man, it's my wedding, and my boss can't leave me alone...
Michael? What ha...
Isabelle? I need to talk to Kim...
"Mike, the funny thing is, he's offering you a gig you'd be stupid to turn down..."
I'm just tired. Please put her on? Thanks.
What happened?
She denied it. Said I was crazy and paranoid.
Michael...
No, it's for the best, it really is. We were so wrong for each other.
Maybe tomorrow, you'll feel dif...
Should we take a walk? Or maybe some food sent up, or something...
Or we'll go somewhere. If you have the time.
I had the craziest dream last night? Walter and Kimmy had asked your boss to...
Look, I came down here to face everybody. I didn't want to slink away like some coward...
But the Scotch salmon was so fucking good, you decided to stay for brunch!
She hasn't told anybody, what am I supposed to do?
This is her family and her fault.
And your point?
Well. How come she didn't...
I asked you...
Does that make it right...
Thank God you were here.
Oh, yeah.
I was so confused, so conflicted, so... unstable.
... your one chance for true happiness?
... yeah, that.
The Big Hurt, huh?
What's up?
Jules, what's wrong...
Uh. I saw that moving...
You're not saying you actually... you're saying that y...
... wrote it, yeah. I'm the bad guy.
I mean, do you realize what you've... well, of course you realize, that's why you're confessing, I mean... I mean... how could you do that?
Actually. Lower. I am the fungus that feeds on pond scum. Lower. The layer of mucous that cruds up the fung...
Lower.
Lower.
I'm so glad you didn't jump on that train, before...
Why would she come here...
I never forgot that.
It's two weeks.
Almost three.
You can't believe you've lost her! Sooner or later, you'll find her, and you'll look in each other's eyes, and you'll see all that love...
Course, if it's later rather than sooner, I'd hate to be you at six o'clock. You've got a lot of explaining to...
I'm just thinking of how she's hurting. Lost. Alone. Like her life is over.
Okay, we'll split up. You go to every romantic place you guys have, I'll go... someplace brilliant, and the first one who...
The kiss. May be hard. For you to explain. Because the only fear she really has, is...
Well, the school will be here. Architecture will still be around. Right now...
I travel every week. College ball, motor sports, training camps...
Because I could come...
It's not just a gag, huh?
He never mentioned that. Neither did y...
He needs someone incredible, someone really close, who he can trust...
It would only be, maybe, six months? Or three or four? It would mean so much to him...
And to m...
All of a sudden, I'm supposed to drop out of school, forget my family, forget my career, forget all the plans I had for my life...
I'm sure glad I'm hearing all this now, before it's too late!
What is that sup...
What a sweet little picture. Mommy and Daddy aren't losing a daughter, they're gaining a eunuch!
Well, if that's the way you f...
Fine. I'm an insensitive, chauvinist asshole, and you're well rid of m...
Reverend Dyer, this is Kimberly's somewhat butch maid of honor...
Kimberly wanted to tickle the grandmas, so we figured, give 'em a cheap thrill. Walter supplied the decorative touches...
Nose tackle from the Bears... power forward from the Bulls... defenseman from the Black Hawks... my personal favorite, the designated hitter...
... I'm partial to the tight end.
And yet here you are. All celibate and reclusive.
Maybe it's happy there.
Oh the way out of the crab house? We asked Michael if we could see the ring?
He said you told him. It'd be safer with you.
Personally, I think Mr. Michael's marrying the wrong girl.
You got the money?
Right here.
Well, don't lose it. Last time I gave you twenty-five dollars, you lost it.
Well, that just happened that time.
You lost twenty-five dollars once before that, too, near Christmas time -- I remember that real well now. December 9th, to be exact.
You got a real good memory, Star.
I remember when I just saw you. Skinny Winnifred. Jesus, you were skinny.
What do you have to buy?
Feed, mostly. Thought we'd get something for the kids.
Okay by me - I'd sure like to see that Opryland.
What?
Grand Old Opera --
I hate that music.
Winifred.
Hi! Star.
Winifred, the kids want you home and so do I.
I won first prize.
You're from out of town?
Yes. I'm cutting a record.
We have a Bible study meeting tonight if you'd like to come.
Is there food?
No.
Well, I just wondered 'cause being from out or town I wouldn't be able to make anything.
I called Connie and she said not to worry, She'll fill in for you.
Barnett, please -
What's wrong honey.
I don't want to listen to her sing -
Don't feel that way, honey.
Then why are you listening to her -
Well, I have to go thank her for filling in and it's nice to know the tune she sang.
You have to what?
Barnett?
Oh, Barnett, I'm so sorry.
Honey, it's okay... How do you feel now?
Don't worry, I'll take care or it
Am I disturbing you?
Oh, honey, I didn't mean to scare you.
How did you come in here?
Well, I guess you caught me at a weak moment.
I said, I've been real tired.
Eater says she doesn't see how you do it.
What's wrong with her.
Oh just about everything, I guess. Those doctors started on an overhaul and don't want to quit. They keep taking things out. She's going to come home an egg shell. Tough, though.. She's tough.
What did you say your name was?
It's fine. We were just talking about Vitamin S.
I'll go on. Ester'1l be very glad.
You going today?
Thank you-- Yes, I am.
I'll tell Ester, she'll be thrilled I saw you again.
You get her those Vitamin E right away.
Well, Bye, Bye now. We have to go.
I'm sorry. I feel as if I know you. I'm John Triplette... a friend of Del Reese... I was at the airport. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a great fan of hers. If there's anything you need, just give me a call. I'm at the Sheraton South.
She's going to rest now.
I appreciate your concern, but she has to rest, so you can go on home.
What do you really want?
Not a thing, Barnett, really. I need a little information. But, ah, it can wait.
You bet.
Yes.
Barnett, John Triplette. How's she doing?
She's fine.
Well, I just thought I'd call.
Well, that's not entirely true, Barnett. At least not according to Haven.
Haven? Hell,' we've been playing poker together since we were fourteen.
I guess that's why he thought you right want to help out.
He knows better.
Well, it's probably because it would help him.
How is that?
Everybody likes to be as good as their word.
Whose word?
His Word.
His word? Are you telling me Haven promised you something?
What?
They can come to the concert in the park.
I got trapped and you know it, so let's have some rules.
Absolutely. Listen, Barnett, I understand your position.
No, you don't, so don't say you do. Bunch of damn liars. What do you get out or this?
Nothing; Barnett. It's my job.
How is she?
A little slow, but she'll be fine.
Have you talked to Triplette?
Who the hell is he?
He's lining up talent for Hal Phillip Walker.
Who the hell is he?
He's going to run for president.
Third party?
He has that sign with the tree.
What does he want?
Barbara Jean.
What!
That's what he wants.
You know better than that.
It's on National television, Barnett.
Well, how about the shopping center?
Yes. She's pretty rested up.
Okay, then we'll see you there.
Hi. I'm John Triplette.
You want anything? A drink?
Oh, no, listen, I don't want to take up too much of your time.
Well, I'm here putting together a show. It's a benefit really.
Whose?
What's he running for?
National television?
ABC.
How much?
Where'd he ever see us?
D.C.
D.C.? Tammany Hall? He came there?
Okay.
Bastard
President?
It's an appearance. It has nothing to do with support. I don't even like him.
You're kidding.
Yes, but we're just singing.
Howdy.
Where are you going?
Hey!
Listen, we're suppose to sing on TV day after tomorrow. At the park...
National?
Come on. He's a crook.
He saw us at Tammany Hall.
Sorry to bother you, Bud.
Need to have you check these out before he goes on that Walker benefit.
Sure thing. Put them here... I'll take them.
Thanks... I'll... go say hello to your mom.
She's in Paris.
Oh... Well... Have you heard from Barnett?
Not yet.
You bet.
He's my father.
He got killed at a turkey shoot.
Your brother?
Yes. I was in my Sophomore year at Harvard.
Harvard?
Business School so I can run Haven's business.
What is a turkey shoot.
You go out in the woods and shoot targets -- Whoever shoots the most wins a live turkey
How in the world did he get shot?
Do you know Barbara Jean?
Sure do. Good friend of Haven's.
Haven's not going to talk to me.
HI. Look at those flowers. Did you grow those.
Ester and me did; My niece picked then. She's just here from California.
Well, Mr. Green.
Hi, Sherry.
Mr. Green?
Yes, ma'am. How are you today?
Didn't you get?... How are you?
I'm fine. Can I go up?
You want me to wait?
What?
Yes, sir.
Can I help you?
Yes, sir. I need a room
I didn't think it would. She's calling herself L.A. Joan this- week. Last week it was Dakota. Guess if you have to change your name a state's as good as anything.
She sure sings nice.
My wife and I think so, but we're family. Your family's always good or bad depending on how you look at your family. What do you do, pick or sing?
When you run out or money, 'cause you will here, you can go sing at Bishop's Pub. They let you pass the hat. All these kids do that. Most every place doesn't want to bother with you.
Well, don't be shy. I got the address here. Anytime you need it. Room's twenty-five dollar! a week and you can have breakfast with me if you like.
Listen, do you know anything about cars?
Sure... you're a fine boy, Ken, you really are.
Okay... you get to sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Good night.
Did you see who that was?
Glad to see you. Ester'll be glad, too.
He is just wonderful.
Uh huh.
You know anything about the stations here?
It's hard to say. Doctors thought she'd come home a week ago. All it was was appendix.
All they got is advertisements. Just like L.A.
Well, I could use one, especially if I'm pregnant.
What did you say?
I said, maybe I'll change my name again.
I see... Well, those doctors are real miracle workers.
But not unless Nashville really inspires me.
Maybe you can look after me a little.
What's this?
Replacement party.
Who's that?
A guy named Walker. Amazing person. He's developed a huge following.
How do you know?
Well I've been following him around Just listening to him --He says he can really win -- I bet he can too - -
You must really like him.
Well, he's really amazing.
Listen, your Aunt Ester just died. I'm... sorry... Listen, I really Feel bad now about last night...We had no...
I'm in a hurry, gonna see this great group record at Woodland.
I mean, Mr. Green was so nice to me. He took me in and...
Have you seen a woman about so high?
No.
She had on high heels?
No.
Hey, there - You seen my Winifred?
No.
You got a place to stay?
No. Probably stay at a motel tonight.
You in music?
No.
Wrecks.
Ah, hello. My name is Kenneth Fraser... And I'm here from Terre Haute, Indiana. Ah, listen ... somebody stole my handles.
We don't mess with accessories.
Parts.
Do you carry door handles?
What kind?
Nash.
What year?
Mom?
I've been so worried, dear. where are you?
Nashville.
Oh... Well.
The car broke down.
Oh, well, I knew that before you- even left. I told you, 'Kenny, that old Nash won't make it down the road.' But you had to go.
Well, I got to Nashville. That's pretty far.
Next you'll be sick.
I feel really good.
How are you going to pay when you get sick?
I'm in a rooming house with Mr. Green.
Green? Not Owen Green. Owen Green embezzled money from your grandfather
I don't know his first name.
Bet the sheets are grey.
No. No, they're white. He's got a nice dog.
Worst time at year for dogs is when they get fungus.
Fungus?
He doesn1t have fungus, does he?
I don't think so.
Well, you'll get it, skin as sensitive as yours.
Weather's been awful. All those bombs dropping. It changes our weather. Sure not like the good old days.
Does their hair fall out?
Listen. Maybe I should go...
I've been a Little dyspeptic.
I want to get the dog off my bed.
Okay. I'll be talking to you.
Keep warm, dear. Let me hear from you.
Bye.
Have your children been deaf since birth?
Yes -- yes, they have. It was a real shock at first, especially since my daddy's a preacher, but Delbert and I have been blessed by their being here.
When did you start singing?
When I was little, in church.
Isn't it unusual for you to be working with a black choir?
Yes, it is --
Well, can you tell me why?
It just is.
How long have you been with them?
About three years.
And before?
Just my church and my boys. We all had to go to school and learn hand talking. I just thank the Lord they can see.
Do you ever do any writing?
No, I don't.
Are you a close friend of Haven's?
No, mostly his wife's. She's in Paris, France, right now. My husband Delbert is real friendly with him. Delbert's in law. Does work for him.
Do you like him?
Hello.
Linnea?
Yes. Who's this?
I'm here.
Who is this?
Tom. You remember?
I'm not sure. Where?
Remember, about a month ago, your church choir cut a record?
Yes.
Well, I met you that afternoon in the control room and we...
I'd really like to see you.
Or course. You should come over to the house. The boys would love to meet you.
Well...How have you been?
Hello.
Who is thin?
Who is this? It's Tom.
I don't know who you are.
Hello.
Wow!
What?
Who is this, right? I called you last night.
Oh.
I've got a gig tonight.
Oh?
End of Church Street. Next to a grocery store.
Doesn't it have a name?
You're really terrific, you know what I mean --LINNEA rolls over and faces him.
I have to go.
Wrong.
I have to go. He sighs.
Stay.
I can't.
When did you think it would happen?
I'm not sure.
I knew when I first met you.
How old are you?
Older.
Thirty?
Well...
I'm twenty-eight
Oh.
Terrific! Who was that black guy? A friend of yours?
That's unkind.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
That's what you said before.
I was in prison for twenty-eight years.
Oh.
Premeditated murder.
Oh.
Just got out. Had me thirteen lawyers. Missed the electric chair twice. .. Been out three months. Are you heavy?
I'm not sure...
I'm forty-six. Do you like to go up or down?
What?
All I need is fifteen minutes a night.
Fifteen minutes?
Sleep. That's all I need. Don't want to waste no time sleeping. You married?
What...? 0h, yes.
You know who that is?
Yea.
My mother. died in '72. They told me after. They said they couldn't find me before, so they told us after.
What?
They said go see the chaplain.
Hello.
Linnea?
Yes.
You sound different. Is that really you?
It's me. What is it?
Can you make a rehearsal in the morning...? Courtland wants to...
What time?
Eight-thirty in the chapel.
I can do benefits
I can only give you fifty a week here and ten bucks for the benefit.
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Hundreds of times.
Well, there's a couple of girls in Printers Alley if you got any questions. I know I've seen that G- string stuff for sale someplace around.
That's for sure. At the airport - that's where it was. At the airport, there in one of those gift shops... Anyway, you better take a break.
Hello. John Triplette.
Hello.
Oh, no.
Wednesday at the park. We've got a lot of names coming in...
For him?
What for?
What National TV...?
You're doing some recording here, aren't you?
An album.
You don't know how pleased he'll be.
Sorry I'm late.
You're not.
Where's Bill?
Sleeping.
Where are you going?
How's your stomach?
Pretty good. Sure was surprised to hear from you. You talk to Bill?
Not yet. Listen, Norman, I want...
You know Bill is really mad at you.
Oh?
I mean...
We just got a gold record.
Do they have a show to give it to you?
No Hell, some secretary in New York just hands it to you. Only this one kept dropping it out of the box.
Did it break?
Dent it a little. Boy -- just she couldn1t even find it. She had a hamburger on her desk that looked three weeks old.
How long have you been together?
Probably a little too long.
Do you study at all?
Come on back to bed.
Yeah, you bet. You're really terrific. You know what I mean?
Come on.
Hi.
Hello.
I'm Opal.
Oh yes, I'm John Triplette.
The architect His buildings are drippy. You know, like sand and castles. Then I got this assignment. They want to start in two weeks.
Why?
Why?
What?
Pleasure
What do you think of him?
Hal? Well, Hal and I have been friends for a long time.
You go to school together?
No, we never did that
Oh --
We're connected by a relative. One time, one of his aunts married one of my uncles. That was a long time ago, though. How'd you come to work for him?
Well, I really think he's got a chance.
You do?
Oh yea -- There has never been a better time for something new.
He ain't really new.
He is to a lot of people.
He was a good Judge, but that was a long time ago.
You know, I'll bet you he makes it with a majority.
Where are you from?
Southern California.
You always live there?
Spent time in Arizona. Why?
Well, I admire your optimism, and I just wondered if it was regional. You ever see any movie stars?
I know a couple.
No kidding -- Wait till I tell Linnea. Who?
Ah... Peter Finch.
Who?
Peter Finch -- he's English.
I never heard of him. Name somebody else.
Ryan O'Neal.
You really do? ~ God -- How come you know them?
Oh, you meet them at parties and stuff.
I'll be damned. Boy, if you could get Ryan to say something about Hal Phillip Walker, wouldn't that be something?
Well -- maybe. Let's see what happens here.
You want a ride into town?
Got me an audition tonight.
No -- That's exercises. My coach says you have to do exercise because the vocal chords are muscle and need to be stretched. Every time you stretch them, the middle part sets stronger. That's the place where I sing.
You sure do it loud.
Is that good?
It's not bad.
You think I should take lessons?
If you're serious. Being serious is real important.
You serious?
Wade -- I've been working toward this audition for years.
Well, honey, I sure hope it comes your way then.
You think it will?
Hi, I'm Sueleen Gay.
I'm John Triplette. Excuse me. I got all caught up in looking at you. You'll be fine.
Oh, why thank you.
Now this is to raise funds for someone who can help people who are less fortunate than yourself. The more you take off, you see, more money we can raise.
I see.
Don't you think they'd just love another song instead?
More or less.
When you study the martial arts, they give out belts that come in different colors to signify what level you're at in your training. Am I correct on that point?
Yes you are.
What was the color of Tim's belt?
The style of fighting that Tim studied didn't believe in belts.
Is that a fact? Well then, Grace, could you tell us what form of martial arts it was that Tim was schooled in?
Tim studied several styles, but his favorite was Jeet Kune Do.
Jeet Kune Do...Now I did some research on that form of fighting, and I found out that Jeet Kune Do was a style developed by Bruce Lee. Did you know that?
Now, while I freely admit total ignorance on the subject, I have heard of Bruce Lee. And I was under the impression that Bruce Lee was one of the, if not <u>the</u> greatest fighter in the history of martial arts.
That's what Tim said.
So, I think it would be safe to say that anybody who studied the fighting style that Bruce Lee, arguably the greatest martial artist of all times, developed for nine years, that would be a fella who could defend himself. Would you describe Tim that way, Grace?
Point of fact, weren't Tim's hands registered as lethal weapons?
That means his hands are considered a weapon like a gun or a knife. Am I correct on that point?
Thank you. Grace, there is one other thing...
What kind of pies do you have?
Apple, pecan, cherry, and key lime.
Which do you recommend?
The key lime is great, but it's an acquired taste.
I haven't had a key lime pie in ten years.
When ya had it, did ya like it?
Mallory, what did you think of Mickey's plan? Did you think it would work?
It wasn't 'till we got on the ground floor that I totally realized they weren't gonna shoot unless we shot first. When we got out of the stairwell, I remember thinking, 'Oh my God. This might work.' But Mickey knew it would work all along. There wasn't any doubt in his mind. It's not like there was and he just didn't show it. He
What did you think then?
I wondered how long it would be before we'd get to be alone together. And I wondered if I could wait that long.
Did you have anything to do with the riot in the laundry room?
Haven't you been listening to a fuckin' word I said? ...Oh, I'm sorry. Can I say fuckin'? I can't, can I?
Try to keep it to a minimum.
Well, now me and Mickey are gonna take it easy. Just enjoy each other's company, stop and smell the roses, notice the color purple, stuff like that.
How do you intend to disappear? you're probably the most famous couple in America.
Naw, she don't mind.
Now, when we get out there, you do what we say or it's curtains. If we say move, you move. If we say left, you move left. If we say right, you move right. If we say mole, you dig a hole. Got it?
Are we in a big hurry?
You got something you want to do?
Yeah.
By all means, knock yourself out.
Mickey!
Hasn't it?
Divine intervention.
Looked like an interview to me.
Why are Mickey and Mallory being moved to an asylum? And who made the decision?
The prison board made the decision. A board of which I belong. We're the who. The why is simple. Mickey and Mallory are mentally ill and need to be under a doctor's care, where hopefully they'll receive the help they need.
Mickey and Mallory were deemed competent in a mental examination before their trial. I'm confused. What's changed?
Well, since that time, they've killed one person during their trail. And since their incarceration, they've killed one psychologist along with several guards and inmates.
When they were found competent before, they had already killed fifty people. Other than the fact they're a disciplinary problem, which frankly shouldn't surprise anyone, I still don't see where this situation is any different then it was before. So, I ask you again, Mr. McClusky, what's changed?
What's changed, Mr. Gayle, is our minds. We felt they were competent a year ago. A year has passed, sir, a year where they were under close observation, day in and day out, and their behaviour has led us to believe we were wrong.
Who is we?
The prison board and the doctors who examined them.
Were any of the doctors who made the first evaluation on the Knoxs mental state asked to re-examine them?
Using the same doctors is not common practice.
I take it by your answer it was a whole new team?
Congratulations on the Curtis Fox case, Scagnetti. You put an end to a nightmare. The ladies of this city can get to sleep again, and they have you to thank.
Thank you, sir.
Who isn't?
You been followin' the news coverage?
They've been separated since their incarceration in a couple of penitentiaries---
Susanville, Soledade.
They've killed a shitload of inmates and guards---
Look, our situation in a nutshell is, no prison wants 'em, no prison will take 'em. I'm even talkin' hellholes, where the warden's as hard as a bar of iron. No one wants those fuckin' assholes behind their walls, dealin' with 'em day in, day out.
I can appreciate that.
So can we. So the solution to our little problem is we had them deemed crazy. And we're shippin' 'em to Nystrom Asylum for the criminally insane.
Lobotomy Bay?
You've heard of it?
So, how do I fit into this scheme?
The public loves you Jack...You don't mind if I call you Jack, do you?
By all means.
You're a breathing icon of justice and that's why you were chosen to deliver Mr. and Mrs. Knox. We, the prison board we, knows that once you get them on the road if anything should happen, an escape attempt, an accident, fire, anything...Jack 'Supercop' Scagnetti would be there to look out for his public's best interests.
I see.
Who's the song bird?
Because they wouldn't give them their blessing for marriage.
...one night I was asleep, and a noise wakes me up. I thought, 'Oh shit, somebody's broken in.' I didn't own a gun, so I go into the living room with a fucking umbrella. Okay, it turned out to be nothing. God made the noise. Who knows?
Looks like we got a Mexican standoff.
Slide the shotgun over here, put your hands behind your head, put your forehead on the floor.
Or what? You'll wound me? I can blow you in half and you know it.
Did you ever see 'Eldorado?'
Okay, buddy boy, where ya keepin' Mallory? I know she's still here, and I know you know where. So, start talking or my first work as a director will be your death scene.
She's in the holding cell, on this floor.
Yeah.
How come you never talk?
She was born without a tongue.
Say something.
What?
Ah...fine. Let me make an adjustment here, and we'll be ready to rock 'n roll. Oh...uh, the dumbass at the donut place put a chocolate cream filled I asked for in your box.
There's a chocolate cream filled in there?
Yeah. Ya see, I ordered that special.
Tough titty, it's mine now.
You guys stay on your bellies.
How is it?
Not good.
Do you have a back up.
It's video.
You ready, Donut?
Ready.
Hello Mickey. We've never been introduced, but I'm Wayne Gayle. I don't know if you've ever heard of me or remember me. I was one of the reporters outside the courthouse during your trial---
The episode we did on Mickey and Mallory was one of our most popular ones.
Did you ever do one on Wayne Gacy?
Yes.
Whose ratings were higher?
Yours.
How 'bout Ted Bundy? Ever do one on him?
Yes. Yours got the larger Nielson share.
Good...yuppie piece of shit.
What I'd like to do---
How 'bout Manson?
Manson beat you.
Yeah, it's pretty hard to beat the king.
My problem Mickey, is that you don't exactly inspire empathy. I'm all alone on this. I need your help. I want what the prison board is doing to be the focus of our follow up episode. Now I have interviews with chairman of the prison board Dewight McClusky about this issue. And I'm tellin' ya, Mickey, he looks bad. The two psychologists they used
Have you talked to Mallory about this?
She won't even see me, Mickey. Now you're not supposed to know anything about what's going on with her, but I'm gonna tell ya somethin'. Since you two've been sentenced, Mallory hasn't spoken one word.
She doesn't talk?
Not to anybody. She sings.
She sings? What does she sing?
Mickey, how do you feel about cross- examining Grace Mulberry?
Okay now, before we get started here, there's a few things we have to get clear about.
All right, Mickey.
Sorry about that.
Don't worry about it.
We're about ready to go here. Are you ready?
So, Mickey, tell us what you do for fun.
Much obliged. What do I do for fun? Do you want to know what I do for fun or what I did for fun?
What? Oh, aaahhh, what you did for fun for starters.
What I did for fun for starters. Well, something I used to do...always was a lot of fun... No, scratch that. Let me think of something else. In fact, why don't we come back to that question. Ask me something else.
Do you miss Mallory?
Of course, I miss Mallory. She's my wife. I haven't seen her in a long time. What a stupid question.
Then was it worth it?
Was what worth it?
Do you think up these questions or the girl with no tongue?
No, Mickey, I can't let you get away with that shit. Answer the question. Was it worth it? You haven't seen, heard, or smelled Mallory in a year. Was it worth it?
Was an instant of purity worth a lifetime lie? Yeah, it was.
Excuse me, did you say an instant of purity? What was the instant of purity? The bodies you left behind on your bloody trail?
That's only part of it. I mean, it's a big, big, big part. But it's only the chorus, it's not the whole song.
You just said an instant of purity was preferrable to a lifetime lie. I don't understand. What's so pure about forty-eight dead bodies?
You'll never understand. Me and you, Wayne, we're not even the same species. I used to be you...then I evolved. From where you're standing, you're a man. From where I'm standing, you're a ape. I'm here...I'm right here... and you...you're somewhere else, man. You say why? I say why not?
Tell me about the purity.
It's not that easy, Wayne. Donuts and a smoke only get you so far. You're gonna have to do your job.
Okay...okay...I'll buy that. We'll move on and come back later.
I'm sure we will.
Describe Mallory.
Describe Mallory? Okay. She's pretty, she's got blonde hair, two eyes, two feet, two hands, ten fingers...
Don't play dumb with me, Mickey. You know what I mean. Describe Mallory. What's up here? What's in here?
That's indescribable.
Well, riddle me this, Batman. How do you feel about the fact that you're never gonna see Mallory again?
Says who?
Says the United States of America.
Everybody thought I'd gone crazy. The cops, my mom, everybody. But you see, they all missed the point of the story. I wasn't crazy. But when I was holding the shotgun, it all became clear. I realized for the first time my one true calling in life. I'm a natural born killer.
I could go for a Coke.
You guys wanna hear a joke I heard?
Sure.
Donut, get your camera. See if it's broke.
Let me check on Scott. He's hurt bad.
Okay, we're going out that door, and we're gonna march down the hall and right out of the building. Donut said something about a news van.
Yeah, we have a van.
Where's it parked?
Out front.
Mickey, can I talk to you alone?
No.
This is crazy. You can't escape like this.
Probably not, but we're gonna give it the old college try.
That's what I thought. You tell them that. When we go down those stairs, I want you to scream what you just told me. 'My name is Wayne Gayle! I am the star of American Maniacs watched every week by'-- how many people?
On average forty million.
'Every week by forty million people. I am a respected journalist.' Have you won any awards?
Are you kidding? The Golden Globe, The Edward R. Murrow award...
...'Winner of the Golden Globe and the Edward R. Murrow award among others.' Tell 'em the name of your personal lawyer, his firm, his address, and phone number. Tell 'em about the mayor and the unemployment lines. You getting the idea?
Say it. Scream it. All the way out the front door and into your van. And if you stop screaming, I swear to God I'll blow your head off.
We ain't got all fuckin' day!
C'mon, c'mon, let's hurry this up.
Just wait one fucking minute.
...developed between the three of us. We're kindda in this together, don't ya think?
No. Not really.
Don't touch those triggers! Please. I think I've already proven that a live Wayne Gayle is much more better that a dead...Way-- Gayle. I was your passport out of jail, not Duncan Homolka. But me! I'll be your passport outta---
Wait! You can't kill me. Mickey and Mallory always leave somebody alive to tell the tale.
Let's make a little music, Colorada.
I can't go. I'm too fucked up.
I'm not saying it's not gonna hurt, but--
I can't run with you, Mickey! I really want to. If I could, I would, but I can't. I gotta stay here. But you can still get out of here.
No fuckin' way! No fuckin' way!
If they stay, they'll catch you, and they don't have to catch you---
No fuckin' way!
Mickey, you're wasting time!
Yeah baby.
Yes.
Then you've seen the scene where Arnold Schwartzenegger is talking to Lou Ferigno.
How can you say that you 'admire' them?
It's like this, Wayne. Two people are standing in a dark room waiting for the other to attack. These two people can't see each other, yet they know they're there. Now, they can either stand in the dark room forever waiting until they die of boredom, or one of them can make the first move.
Why can't they just shake hands and be friends?
They can't because neither knows if the other is a deranged senseless killer like the Knoxs. So, you may as well make the first move.
And they made the first move?
I admire them.
Hypnotizing.
Through the power of the simple word---
And a snake-eye glare.
---and a snake-eye glare, Arnold was able to totally psyche out any confidence Ferigno had.
He squashed him mentally before physically defeating him.
He had the edge. The mind's edge.
Mickey and Mallory have that edge.
Only on a much grander scale.
They've hypnotized the nation.
Yes.
That's the Mickey and Mallory way.
That's the way of the world.
They're shocking the world into remembering the primal law.
They had us tied down during one of their house raids, you've seen the headlines, and they were taking a chainsaw to our legs before they were gonna kill us.
Just for fun, I guess.
And then Mallory stops Mickey and says, 'Hey, these are the Brothers Hun.'
Mickey stops sawin' on my leg and says, 'Oh my God, I'm your biggest fan!'
Apparently, they've seen all our films.
They were especially influenced by 'Conquering Huns of Neptune.'
So, Mallory calls 911 and they took off.
I want two men stationed in that tier, and I want men with rifles all along the walkway.
Here's the layout of the laundry room.
Where do the air ducts lead?
What do you think, Pitney? How much Explosives do you think that they really have in there?
It's hard to say Capt'n.
Take a wild stab!
I'll say enough to destroy this wing.
The entire wing?
That's my opinion.
Drink up! This is a celebration. This is the day we received word we were gonna make television history. We're gonna have the first sit down, in depth interview with the most charismatic serial killer ever, one day before he's being shipped to a mental hospital for the rest of his life. This is one of those golden moments that happens maybe only four
How immediate is immediately?
Now we got to film a new intro for the follow up episode. But we put the intro for the first episode at the beginning temporarily so you can see it with some scope.
You can't be serious?
I'm as serious about that as I am about going back to the donut store, and dipping that stupid Mexican's head into the batter for forgetting my chocolate cream filled. Gimme that other box.
Huh uh. This dozen is for Mickey.
That dumbass probably put my chocolate cream filled in there by mistake.
Roger, no.
What's the big deal? Take out my chocolate cream filled, put one of these roasted coconut---
Roger, do you understand what the word 'no' means? It's important we establish a rapport. Something as simple as a dozen donuts can mean the world to somebody who hasn't had a donut in a year.
Okay, guys, we're here. L.A. County Jail. Julie, just park in the front.
Wayne---
Roger, enough with the fucking donuts! What did I tell you. Stop bothering Mickey, and get behind your nagra.
Roger?
Rockin'!
Pleased to meet ya, Jack. I read your book. I'm impressed. Good work on Curtis Fox.
What's the travelling arrangements?
Well, Mickey and Mallory can't be together. So, we'll put you on one of our prison busses and you'll take Mallory first, then you'll come back for Mickey.
And where do you keep Mickey?
We got his stinkin' ass in the deepest, darkest cell in the whole place. But it just so happens that right now he's got a special visitor.
Who?
Wayne Gayle.
What the hell happened to you?
You should see the other bitch. What time you got?
Are you all set?
Yeah. Bus is all gassed up and ready to roll.
Yeah, we met. They're good men.
They're real Goddamn good. They'll be there for when ya need 'em. Where are they?
Waitin' in the lounge.
How 'bout Mallory?
Nothing for me. I'm leavin'.
Jack, could you stay up here for a while?
Yeah, sure.
We got tonight and tomorrow to get our shit together. The day after that they're shippin' Mallory. That's when we do the Mickey Knox interview, 'cause the next day he goes.
Would the network really not run it without the interview?
So Unruly Julie's comin' with me and planning the interview. You two go down to the editing bay, take the old footage and the new footage, put it together, and see what we got. Get it into shape so when we finish the interview, we can just stick it in.
When do you want the assembly?
Okay, boys, let's have it.
Good work, my brothers. Fan-fuckin'- tastic! I think that interview stuff's too long, we can lose some of that. Keep the girls, keep the long hairs, keep the Hun brothers, keep the black guy, keep the movie shit, and keep the cop at the donut shop. Lose the rest. And cut the interview with the prison board fellow before that. Cut it after I
How's it working, Scotty?
Rollin'...and speed!
Camera jam! I'm sorry Wayne. God.
It's gonna be beautiful.
But how can you say that?
But you see, that's okay, Wayne.
Why?
They passed the 'edge' along to us.
How so?
By taking away our legs. Now we have to fight harder to get ahead than anyone else you'll find in this gym. Probably the whole city. They gave us the fighting spirit. Before this happened I was content. Now I'm pissed off. Now I'm half a man and I've got to work like the devil to get whole again.
But you'll never be whole again.
Hello, Mr. Gayle. I'm Phil Wurlitzer. We talked on the phone. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Same here. Let me introduce my crew. Scott...Roger...and Unruly Julie ...this is...I'm sorry. What's your title again?
I'm the superintendent here at L.A. County Jail. Me and my deputies are who you'll be working with while you're here.
How's everything coming, Mr. Gayle?
Everything's coming along just fine. Phil, I wanted to know if I could have a small word with you.
You met the kids I have working for me? Great bunch, aren't they?
Oh yes, indeed. Top flight.
Scott, genius cameraman, Roger, magician with sound. Unruly Julie, I could sooner do without my arm than Unruly Julie.
Is that her real name?
I see.
Now, Phil, I don't know if you've ever been on a set before---
Ya know, I was.
Really?
I was on the 'Dukes of Hazzard' set about eight years ago.
Well...small world. Well, then, you know firsthand how Hollywood does things. Lights all over the place, generators, a hundred and fifty crew members---
Oh, that 'Dukes of Hazzard' show, there was probably ninety-five people there, maybe more.
See what I mean? It's a funny business, isn't it?
It sure is.
Well, just what the hell do you expect me to do?
Lose 'em.
Mr. Gayle, do you have the slightest idea how dangerous Knox is?
Since he and his wife have been in custody, they've killed---
Don't recite the fact to me. I'm sure I know 'em better than you do.
Well, let me let you in on one more fact you obviously don't know. If I were to take my men away, Mickey Knox would snap your neck like a twig.
We got one...two...three...four ...five...six...seven...eight. I mean Jesus Christ, Phil, that's too much. Let's lose some of these guys.
Wayne, if it was anybody else---
Phil, I'm just scared he's gonna clam up on me with all these sheriffs all over the place. They hate him. He hates them. What kinda intimacy am I gonna create with all this hate in the air. Even you and I feel it.
What are we talking about?
Two guys?
Okay. I'll take two guys off.
No, no, no, no, no, no, I mean only two guys.
I can't do that. Five guys.
Three.
So we got a deal. Four deputies---
And me.
Why don't we make it three deputies and you?
Why don't I have Mickey thrown back into his cell and we can forget the whole thing?
Chill out, Phill. Four deputies and you, I can live with that. We're about ready to go here, so let's get rid of these other assholes.
Don't call my men assholes.
I'm not running out and getting that piece of shit a Coke.
Could we go with you and film it?
How 'bout that furniture plant?
Man, the darkest thing they got in there is Coca-Cola.
Yeah.
Now, if you want to work like a real nigger, you can always go out and chop cotton.
They done that too long in my family.
Give her a beer.
Where' you goin'?
Out.
Want me to come?
No thanks.
Who's going to buy me a beer?
What's the matter, Doris? Business bad?
It sure is.
Everybody givin' it away free, huh?
You gonna buy me a beer, Frankie?
See Duff. He's the money man.
You know, Doris - you'd make some guy a swell wife.
You think so, Frankie?
Fill her up?
Boy - you hear me?!
That'll be thirty-eight cents.
That'll be thirty-eight cents.
I bet she's a sly little nigger, that girl. Wouldn't mind a piece of her myself!
All right, you get out of here, man!
Who're you tellin' to get, boy?! You watch it, or there'll be some dyin' done 'round here!
'You Duff Anderson?
That's right.
Want to talk to you.
Okay.
I hear you're tryin' to organize this place!
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
That's no way to talk, boy. Now we had one of them union men 'round here coupla years ago. Stirred up a lot of trouble. They're always after you colored boys.
I still don't know what you're talkin' about.
You a union man?
Used to be. On the railroad.
Uh-huh. Well, this ain't the railroad. Now what's all this talk about stickin' together?
Look, boy, we got a smooth operation here, and I aim to keep it that way. Now I got an idea you're plannin' trouble.
No. You got the wrong idea.
Want to keep your job, boy?
What d'you think?
I said: Cut it out!
What's the matter, boy? Never smile?
I'll smile when it's funny.
I know.
Yeah.
Where was that?
Walker and Williams.
What did you say your name is?
What d'you want?
Guess you must be lookin' after my boy. I'm Duff Anderson.
James Lee, you come in here and meet your daddy.
Where's Wilma?
She done moved to Detroit.
Ain't she goin' to take the boy?
She got herself a husband now. They don' want him 'round. And I tell you, man, I got no use for him neither.
I been sendin' her money.
Well, she never gave me none. Look, you better find him a place pretty quick.
Like where?
I don't know. He's your boy.
Yeah. Look, I'll be sendin' you the money from now on.
Okay.
They say your dad's 'round town.
'That right? I thought he was up North.
People seen him 'round.
Where's he at?
Hey, boy - I'm talkin' to you.
Name's Duff.
How 'you doing?
Okay.
Looks like you're doin' a good job.
Thanks.
Don't say much, do you?
Guess I don't.
Thanks.
Would you like me to say anything tomorrow?
Guess so.
Have anything in mind?
No. What you usually say, I guess.
Where was your father born?
His profession?
Well, he worked around.
And his age?
I don't know. Forty-eight, I guess.
Any other family?
No. Just me. Me an' her.
Well, I guess that's all till tomorrow.
Hard to get up in the morning, huh?
You know, man, that guy was trying to be friendly.
Like hell. You know, if you fellows stuck together 'stead of letting them walk all over you, they might not try it.
How 'you doin' man?
Okay.
Cup of coffee. I 'been meanin' to talk to you.
Oh yeah?
Been over to the other mill?
Yeah, I been there.
It's just that we're not used to seein' anyone stand up 'round here. Kinda took us by surprise.
That's two bucks, Joe.
Why don't you come over for a beer when you get through?
Thank you, Ma'am. That's fine.
You must be new in town.
Haven't seen you around, have I?
No. I'm new in town.
You working?
Oh yeah?
You work around town?
I'm a teacher.
Went to college, huh?
In Birmingham.
Oh yeah? That's my home town.
Your folks live there?
No. My mother's dead. You goin' back inside?
Yes, aren't you?
No. Never had much use for hell-howlers. You goin'?
My father's the preacher.
Oh yeah? Well, I guess you got no choice.
That's right.
Look, I don't know what you been told 'bout section gangs, but how 'bout seein' me sometime?
That's pretty good for a preacher's daughter.
What d'you expect?
You know, baby, I can't figure you out.
How d'you mean?
Why d'you come out with me? You slummin' or something?
No.
So what you doin' with a cat like me in a joint like this?
You don't think much of yourself, do you?
Well, that's a funny thing to say.
You keep asking me why I'm here.
Yeah, and you keep not answerin', too.
I like a place with lots of life.
How about another beer?
No thanks.
Hell!
They must work on the section gang.
That's right.
Well, they seem just like everyone else.
I guess it's hard working on the road like that.
Damn few places you can make eighty bucks a week.
I mean, you're kind of cut off, aren't you?
That's fine with me. Keeps me out of trouble.
How d'you mean?
Well, I don't get on so well most places.
Well, let's see now - not counting tonight ... must be about twenty-eight times.
Get out of here!
Let's go, Duff.
How come you stay 'round here?
Well, my mother was the only good teacher the colored school ever had. Nobody bothers with those kids.
That's why you come back, huh?
It's hard to see any change. But I'm going to stay. Another year, anyway.
You got more guts than me, baby. It's a no-good town.
It's better than it used to be. Eight years ago they still had a lynching here. They tied a man to a car and dragged him to death. My father knew who did it, but he didn't say anything.
Not here, Duff.
I get it. Yeah, I can see your old man with a shot-gun right now.
But I would like to see you again.
You would, huh? If I was you, baby - I wouldn't go 'round stickin' out my jugular vein.
What d'you mean?
You almost got into trouble back there.
I wouldn't have let you.
Hell, baby, I'm not in the third grade. Well, look - what' we gonna do next time -- have a nice long chat in the parlor?
No, on the porch.
Oh yeah, and then what?
What?
Well, either we're gonna hit the hay or get married. Now you don't want to hit the hay, and I don' want to get married.
You have some very primitive ideas, don't you?
All right, so I'm primitive. So what d'you want with me?
Look, Duff - most of the men I know - they're kind of sad. When I met you the other day I had a feeling that you're different. That's why I went out with you. I thought we might have something to say to each other.
Hell, baby, I don't know what to say.
At first it was real strange. Hell, Japan is a long ways from Alabama. Really got under my skin, though. Almost didn't come back.
Why did you?
I don't know. 'Guess I belong here more than there.
'Been up north?
Yeah. Knocked around for a couple of months after the Army. You been there?
No.
Ain't your fault.
That's the way he is.
Yeah. It's just like I figured.
What d'you mean?
Hell, I don't belong here. I don't know what I' been thinkin'.
Look, Duff - if you're free, I'm not working tomorrow.
Sorry, baby. I'm goin' to Birmingham.
Just for the day?
Goin' to see my kid.
I didn't know you had one.
Yeah. Well, I do.
Are you married?
Surprised?
No. Women're always followin' me 'round.
I'm just going in to do my shopping.
Yeah, it's just a coincidence.
That's right.
I'll see you later.
How old is your boy?
Four.
What's he like?
Hi.
How did it go?
What?
Your boy.
Okay, I guess.
I'll have some coffee, please.
What d'you mean?
Thank you.
How about it?
What happened, Duff?
Look, baby - I don't know 'bout you, but it's the right thing for me. I just know it is. So, what d'you say?
Don't push me, Duff.
Yeah. Wouldn't be no picnic for you. I ain't exactly housebroken.
What about that girl?
She don't mean nothin' to me. That's all over. Hell, baby - I'm askin' you to marry me. I guess you want a big scene, huh?
I can see why.
Well, what d'you think?
It's okay with me, baby. But how' you goin' to like it?
That's Bessie Hall. Barney works at the mill.
Hey, watch out! Guess you want a house full of pickaninnies too, huh?
Don't call them that.
What about him?
He could live with us.
Is that so?
What's wrong?
Smells like something crawled in there and died.
Oh really? I thought it was pretty good.
Everything you cook is good.
What about them?
Am I as good as they?
Hmmm - good coffee.
You didn't answer my question.
Baby, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.
You still didn't answer my question.
You know how to box?
Uh-huh. Why?
My kids want me to teach them.
Like so. There you go. Okay, hit me!
I don't want to hurt you.
It sure scares you, a guy like that - settin' out on his porch, doin' nothin'. I seen hundreds of them - all my life.
How would you like to have a baby, Duff?
Huh?
Don't look so scared.
You jivin' me?
Ain't that something?! That's just fine, baby.
Man, we sure hit the jackpot fast around here.
What about your boy?
How come you keep askin'?
I keep thinking about him.
Don't, Duff.
Don't deny me, Duff.
Yeah. But just how're we goin' to make out? I got to get me a job.
You will.
Pay is so damn low. I don't want my kids to grow up like Barney's.
They won't.
I'm telling you, baby, maybe we better get out of here.
We can always do that, Duff.
Hi.
Don't ask, baby - huh! How much money you got with you?
About ten dollars.
Water pump's busted. I don't know if it's worth fixin', but I need that car.
You know - we do have enough money. Especially now.
Sure, baby. 'Fact, I don't ever have to work no more. When that baby comes, I can just stay home and send you back to school. How about that?
I'm trying to help, Duff.
Yeah!
I could work even after the baby comes. A few hours a week, anyway.
What the hell could you do?
Day work.
No point fixin' it!
Don't do that!
You heard me!
I can't stand to see you like that. I know you can't help it.
How come you don't hate their guts?
I don't know. I guess I'm not afraid of them.
You were plenty scared that night in the car.
Just of getting hurt. They can't touch me inside.
Like hell they can't. They can reach right in with their damn white hands and turn you off and on.
Not if you see them for what they are, Duff.
Hell, if they don't blow up his place, they'll get him some other way. Don't make no difference no-how.
What d'you mean?
Duff, I love you.
Ain't you goin' to say something?
There's nothing to say.
Where're you going to go?
When I get set, I'll send for you.
I don't think that'll happen.
You'll be better off without me. I ain't fit to live with no more. It's just like a lynchin'. Maybe they don't use a knife on you, but they got other ways.
You're not a man because of a job, Duff.
Okay.
Duff--
What you gettin' all pretty for?
Where' you goin'?
'Round town.
What's so hot 'round town?
Just get her drunk.
How 'bout the key?
We was just leavin', fellows.
A whole lot, Frankie.
Like what?
Like a home, for one thing.
You gonna sit at home the rest of your life? Jesus!
Well, it's better than windin' up like a bum.
What 'you signifyin'?
That's right.
Good-bye, Frankie.
See you, Duff.
They all got families to support.
Yeah. That's right, Jocko. Those white guys sure shoot up at you like a yeast cake if you just cock an eye at them.
I guess you'll be making' some changes 'round here.
What's eatin' you, Jocko?
'See ya.
'You Will Anderson?
Who're you?
I'm Duff.
Wouldn't have known you.
Wouldn't have known you.
What's on your mind?
Nothing. Heard you were in town.
Wanted a look at your old man, huh?
How about a drink?
What happened?
I said, I come to town with a girl.
Plannin' on getting married?
No.
'Don't sound so sure.
Well, matter of fact, I done a lot of bangin' 'round.
I asked you somethin', boy!
I heard you.
Pretty good for a one-armed nigger, huh?
Great.
My son? I ain't got no son. You Duff?
That's right.
Take it easy, Pop.
Couldn't get the words out before.
Better get him to a hospital.
How you doin', boy?
Want me to hold the light for you?
No, thanks.
Most folks around here got no use for nigrahs. Got to understand them, that's all. How you doin', boy?
Seems a little loose!
Jesus, I told you to watch it!
That's the trouble with you boys! Don't listen when a man tells you something.
She don't look no worse to me.
Don't do her no good to get banged like that.
Don't do her no good to go into a tree.
What did you say, boy?!
I said, she's in great shape.
How often does he get like that?
Whenever he's got an edge on.
How often is that?
Come back some other time, will you?
Come on, Pop.
Want to come up the house? You can stay there till you get on your feet. There's no point paying a hotel.
No thanks, Lee.
It's just that I hate empty rooms.
Sure.
Well, what're you going to do?
I guess I'll make me some trouble in that town.
Going back, huh?
That's right.
They'll run you out.
No, they won't.
How 'you gonna live?
I can always chop cotton if I have to. If you want a ride, I'll take you home.
No, thanks. I'll take the bus.
Okay.
Don't be too hard on him.
Hell, I'm just like him.
I know he wasn't much of a father.
Who is?!
Hello.
How are you?
It's hard to know how to talk to the white folks these days.
Guess it's never been easy.
It's a changing time. Sit down, son.
Well, it looks like we'll be getting our new school.
How come you all ain't sendin' them to the same school?
Well, you've got to go easy. We haven't had any trouble in town for eight years, and we're not going to have any now.
Can't live without trouble, can you? Nice place you got here. Real nice.
Yes, the Lord's been pretty good to us. I guess you're a church man, aren't you?
I guess I ain't.
Why? Don't you believe in the Lord?
Aw, I do. But 'seems to me us colored folks do a whole lot of church-goin'. It's the whites that need it real bad.
I think if you tried livin' in a town like this, instead of running free and easy, you'd soon change your tune.
I doubt it.
I see. Well, I guess we don't have much to say to each other.
I guess not.
And since we're talking, my wife and I don't want you hanging around our daughter.
I know just how you feel, son. But believe me, you're going about it the wrong way.
Don't look like there's a right way.
Well, you have to be reasonable. Now they say you're a troublemaker. That's no good. Use a little psychology. Make 'em think you're going along - and get what you want.
It ain't in me.
You'll be in trouble, son. Now just how do you intend to support your family?
I guess I'll rob a bank.
So I been told.
It's for your own good.
Oh yeah? Seems to me, Reverend, you' more concerned 'bout your good. Guess it looks kind 'a bad, havin' me for a son-in-law.
You can be cocky now, boy. But you won't make it. You won't last. I just feel sorry for Josie. I knew it wouldn't work out.
Maybe I could talk to Bud Ellis. He might have a job for you at his filling station.
Oh yeah?
Why don't you guys buy your own?
Man, you won't like that back seat.
Man, why 'you messin' around with a gal like that? You won't get no place.
Well, if it ain't Duff!
I'll be a monkey's kid sister! What d'you want to do a thing like that for?
'Musta knocked her up.
Ol' Doris sure goin' to miss you.
Just give him a couple of months. A girl like that, she don't know any tricks.
You know what Doris told me? She say: That Duff's a nice guy. Wouldn't even charge him nothin'.
Yeah. All a colored woman wants is your money.
What d'you know about women, Pop?
Well, I got married to one of them.
Hell, I didn't know you was married.
Sure. Got a sixteen-year-old girl.
So you're courtin' the preacher's girl. Well, just watch your step, boy, or he'll preach you right into hell. I'm counting on you, Reverend.
I understand.
Wouldn't do for one of your people to sue at a time like this.
I know.
I'll talk to the Mayor.
Baby - want you to meet Duff.
Hi.
Come on, Will.
What's the matter?! You mad at me?
No. Why?
Nothin'. She's all right. Wouldn't have made it without her. Christ - haven't worked in eight months. Right now, I'm waitin' for some insurance money. And man, when I get it, I got plans to make me some more. Let's get out'a here. This place gives me the willies. You got some money?
Let's stay here, Will.
Pour your own trouble, Will.
Your mother used to lay for her boss, boy. Did you know that?
Shut up, Will.
Is she good in the hay? No point marryin' her just to find out. Is there, baby?
If you don't quit it, Will, I'm leaving.
He's your son.
Now you stay put!
I ain't drunk, honey.
Got a thick feelin' here.
What's the matter now?
Better now. Where 'you at?
Let's go.
I fucking hate Raoul. Shut the fuck up, asshole! someone.
You hate Raoul?
Your Raoul?
Sometimes, I want to blow his fucking brains out!
Omar--
Danny, I can't fucking wait anymore. You hear me? Now where the fuck's my wife?
I want my wife. I told you and told you. Now I'm gettin' tired of this shit--
Omar, listen to me--
I'm sorry, Danny. Time's up. I'11 do the girl, then me. I don't give a fuck.
Don't give her the satisfaction. Your wife is on her way...
Omar, your wife's here. Ny superiors: will allow me to make the trade now. But I gotta see that you haven't hurt the other hostages. If you haven't, I'11 take the girl and send in your wife.
Beck's just put us on standby for crisis entry.
That's not the play. Omar'll get a shot off. I can still talk to him, Nate, I just need time.
Whoa. No way. You can't enter the kill zone.
Since when?
How long's it been?
I'm still on my honeymoon.
So don't pull this cowboy shit now. You'll give him a target. You'll get yourself killed. Just keep talking.
I will. Inside. There's no other way to get the gun off the girl's head, Nate.
We got any shots?
Oh my God, I'm terribly sorry. Did I hurt you?
Let me get you another glass of wine.
I've had quite enough or I wouldn't be playing such games with beautiful strangers. Aren't Peter's illusions to your liking?
They're a bit too real for my taste. Will you excuse me for a moment?
Peter said you came to kill us. Is that true?
No. I only needed the code from you.
Take this off.
He wants to kill you, you know... Perhaps I won't allow it.
You didn't come here to destroy Wintermute. You can to save a man you love. A man who isn't even capable of returning that love. Such a waste...
My man's coming to get my ass out of here. That's good enough for me.
She's very striking, don't you think? Are these glasses a fashion where she comes from?
Security breach. Perhaps her friends have come to join our party.
You're hurt...
It's nothing. C'mon... we've got to transfer those funds and get the hell out of here.
What about her?
What are you doing in here?
Can you get us into Straylight?
Gettin' in is easy. It's getting out I'm thinkin' of.
I'm getting used to it. Where are we?
What the hell is that?
What you lookin' for, mon?
Ghost a steppin' razor...
Easy...
What's an A.I.
A little incestuous, but at least it's original. Who's the guy in the halloween costume?
We did a pretty good job of pissing them off.
The Villa Straylight. Home of the Royal Family and the mainframe of the computer entity we know as Wintermute. If we can get Molly in, she can access the mainframe to cripple Mute's defences, the Case can destroy it in Cyberspace.
How's the villa's security?
Alright. Let's talk business.
Those are all your records. I can have you cleared on all counts. Possession. ...Contributing to the delinquency of minors... Statutory rape.
I was set up. She looked at least eighteen.
Your gun, your prints. The Tessiers might overlook a little child molesting, but murder's bad P.R., Mr. Riviera. I suggest to reconsider my offer.
You son-of-a-bitch, you're crazy.
Then you'll have to persuade her to tell it to you.
Are you sure you're up to this, Mr. Case? We could reconvene tomorrow.
You've got an expensive razor girl on me for a reason. I'd like to hear what it is.
The corporate plundering of Yeshoto Industries... At first these seemed like unrelated incidents, but a pattern is emerging that suggests otherwise.
What does this have to do with me?
Our analysis of the London stock crash suggest that it was manipulated from within the international computer matrix. Cyberspace, Mr. Case... A realm I believe you're familiar with.
Put the Sense/Net Police on it. The matrix is their turf.
If someone is infiltrating the matrix on a global scale no political or economic system is safe. I'm assembling a team of specialists, Mr. Case. We need a man who can enter the matrix and trace this saboteur.
My days of punching deck are over. For you or anybody else.
What would you say if I told you we could correct your neural damage?
Then I'd ask you what your terms are.
First, let's get something straight. We ran a psych construct on you that lists self destruction as your favourite pastime. If you want to kill yourself, Mr. Case, there's much more entertaining ways than working for me.
It's the people close to me that tend to die... and I get the feeling you and I are going to be real buddies. Terms?
We'll match your rate just prior to your... accident. One half in advance.
Who's running the show, Armitage? This a government sting?
I'll think you'll find everything in working order. Molly's just having a little fun.
I don't call this fun, pal. You're playing God with my body.
You're a substance abuser, Case. Your pancreas was shot. Wouldn't have lasted out the year. We did you a favour and liberated you from a dangerous dependency in the bargain.
Thanks, but I was enjoying that dependency.
There are fifteen toxin sacs bonded to the lining of your main arteries. They're dissolving, Case... slowly, but they're definitely dissolving. You have just long enough to do the job.
Why'd you do it, Armitage?
The disturbance in cyberspace... It's an A.I.
First sign of free will, Sense/Net usually slags 'em.
This one's different. No one can trace it. It's out there somewhere in the matrix and it's growing stronger... infecting other computer systems like a virus.
Anything rated higher than a P.C.'s got a hard-wired suicide switch. It'll self- destruct.
I've heard about rogue A.I.'s, but there's only one guy who actually went up against one.
Dixie McCoy
Right. Best cowboy that ever punched deck. The old man taught me most of what I know.
I've arranged for him to work with us.
That's gonna be tough because Dixie McCoy's dead. The A.I. flatlined him.
I know. You ever work with ghosts, Case?
What are you talking about?
Working with a dead man. Shit, I've done about everything else.
You'll be ready for a trial run in two days. If your splices hold, you'll use McCoy to trace the A.I.'s coordinates.
And then?
Then we rendezvous with the final member of our team. For now, that's all you need to know.
You ran without us.
I cannot tell a lie. Sorry.
Sorry, bullshit. We haven't even begun and you're already jeopardising this operation.
What's this?
Could be your A.I.'s calling card.
Did you trace it?
Fried Air Tram in the process. Not to mention half my gear.
What about McCoy?
He's got a little attitude problem, being that he's dead and all, but he'll come around. Where's Molly?
Prepping your trip.
Really? Do I get to know where I'm going? It makes packing so much easier.
Offworld. The A.I.... this "Wintermute" thing evolved on a computer mainframe on the satellite Freeside. If you attack it from within the matrix while Molly accesses its original programming we can cripple its defence systems.
That could work, but the timing will be a bitch.
You'll be linked during the entire operation.
Yeah, well it's working.
Let's hope she doesn't expect me to swim upstream.
That's Lord Frederick Tessier. Owns most of Freeside. Wintermute's mainframe is centred in the Royal Family's villa.
He's a Sense/Net Chairman. Why would he launch an A.I.?
Good question. He may not have intended to. The girl in question is Lady 3Jane. She's very important to us. The third clone of Lady Jane Tessier.
The old man cheats on his wife with her own clone?
That's nice, but we can't dodge this kind of heat for long.
Okay. The floor plans will be a piece of cake.
Then once she's in you can guide her straight to the mainframe?
As long as you cooperate. I want it now, Armitage.
What are you talking about?
You've got your orders.
You find out in exactly two hours and forty-five minutes.
An odd selection, Mr Case.
I prefer distrusting you. It'll keep us honest.
Honesty. Almost as quaint a notion as your concept of good and evil.
Can you read my mind?
You're busy monkeys, Mr. Case. Busy, busy monkeys. Always building models... First stone circles. Then cathedrals... adding machines. I have no idea why I exist, do you know that? You... Your species eventually _had_ to create me. A thousand monkeys sitting at typewriters. One finally wrote "Wintermute".
Are you even really alive?
Tell me the words.
The words?
The access code to your mainframe.
Ah, yes... the code. It's a riddle, actually. Some fancy of 3Jane's. Unfortunately, you'll have to find out for yourself. I can no more know that code than I can shut down my own hard wired defences. Now, our time is running short... and you haven't even touched your drink.
What's inside me, Wintermute. What did your doctors do to me?
Then I'm out. I don't give a shit about you or this run.
Ah, Herr Case. And how is the artiste tonight?
I saw your girl yesterday.
I don't have a girl.
Too bad. I likes you better with her. Now, sometime you get maybe to artistic; you wind up in the clinic tanks, spare parts.
You're pleasant tonight.
Always...By the way, you know that girlfriend you don't have?
Hey, bro.
Case... Yeah, Miami Joeboy, quick study. How you doing, kid?
Fine, Dixie. Fine.
Last I heard you cracked Sukura International. I couldn't believe it.
Yeah. That was me.
Jesus Christ, Kid. Nobody's ever cracked Sukura.
As far as they know, that's absolutely true.
Ya learned good. So, what's happening?
Nothin'. Not a goddamn thing. What the fuck...
Dixie, you know how a ROM construct works?
Sure, Kid. It's a firmware construct.
What elders?
She's ready to go.
Maelcom... Do you think there's a hell for computers?
All things possible in Babylon.
So be it, we cross into Babylon like a cool breeze.
We're doing fine. Take the next right.
Case, mon, you just tell me who not to kill.
Four men. Babylon soldiers.
Ready?
Do we have enough fuel to make it back to Earth?
Don't know, mon. This is a jumpship. Not meant for transport.
Trajectory coordinates and a fuel ratio... If we re-enter over Mexico, we just might make it.
Jah guides us.
What you're telling me is that I'm dead. Right?
Right...
I can't feel nothing because I am nothing. Just playback. A ghost in the machine.
You're Dixie McCoy's construct. That makes you something special.
Don't patronise me, you fuck. I was skating figure eights in this matrix while you were still peeing in your chinos. Hey, Kid... you expecting company?
I'm surprised you still are. Should'a told me you had an A.I. running probes at you.
I need its matrix coordinates, Dixie. I've got to nail that thing where it lives.
Who got you into this?
A guy who calls himself Armitage.
Never heard of him.
I duped these prints off him. Can you run an I.D.?
No problem, amigo.
What about the A.I., Dix? Sense/Net hasn't even been able to trace it.
Those guys couldn't even find their own dicks with tweezers and a magnifying glass. Tell you what, Bro. I'll make you a deal. I help you nail this A.I., you gotta do me one favour.
What?
Yo.
How are we doing?
That A.I. of your's got the whole matrix hummin'. Sticks out like a spider in a web.
Can you take me to it?
Doesn't look like much, but that's King Hell ice, man. Fry your brain out soon as look at you.
I have to figure out how to penetrate this thing, Dix... Crack its ice. We gotta get close enough to log the pattern.
It's mutating... spreading like a disease.
It ain't getting any prettier, that's for sure. I got the I.D. on this Armitage character. He a bright boy, your friend?
Bright enough to be dangerous.
He was an M.P. in Bangkok back in '21. Caught some shrapnel in the cerebral cortex and wound up living off a machine in a vegetable ward in Berne. Then, last September... surprise, surprise... he just seemed to disappear.
Wintermute could have infiltrated that machine. Reprogrammed him.
It's possible. The guy was a blank slate.
So it does business through a brain dead marine and runs the stock market for funding. That means Wintermute hired us to fry itself. It doesn't make sense.
Could be suicidal. It's not easy to kill yourself with all those hard wired defence programs.
No. It's gotta be more than that. That hard wiring also keeps it from getting too smart. Too powerful.
Getting fried ain't going to get it any smarter. What we got here is one mad dog schizo A.I.. Armitage is right about one thing, Bro. If we don't shut this mother down soon, nothing will be safe from it.
The run is tomorrow night, Dixie. Can you crack its ice pattern?
Where the hell have you been?
We got problems topside.
Well, it ain't exactly a bed of roses down here. We gonna run or not?
We run. You crack the pattern?
Yeah, but it ain't doing us any good. The way this is set up, I can't run shit unless I get inside its perimeter... and this goddamn thing would see me comin' from a mile away.
You can make your move when it comes after me.
What are you talkin' about?
It'll flatline your ass.
Yo.
How's the ice break?
Take a look. Son of a bitch won't feel a thing until it's too late.
Fifty-seven minutes twelve seconds.
Not good enough, man. They planted something inside me. I'm on my own countdown.
How much time you got left?
Less than thirty minutes.
Meet me back here in twenty-five. We'll kick this open if we can. But, Case... you need that access code or you'll just fry inside.
Don't worry, Dix. I'm on a roll.
You're late.
How's the ice?
One minute eighteen and counting. What about the access code?
It's coming.
You haven't got it?
I said, it's coming. Just get me in, man.
This thing's loaded with internal virus systems. You'll fry like an egg in there.
Then I'll fry taking this son of a bitch out. I'm making the run, Dixie.
What about the route to the core?
You, I presume are Mr. Armitage. And this is...
Case.
What about the mainframe's access code?
Wait... You hear that?
What?
Want to fucking answer them?
Hello, Case.
I thought you already left.
Why did you come here tonight, Linda?
People are talking. They say the Yakuza has a contract out on you.
I hear that shit once a week. Don't worry. Jo Jo Bao loves me.
This time it's different. Someone ripped of a shipment of hallucinogens. Five grams of liquid ketamine. It was supposed to be Jo Jo's score.
Where did you here that?
Case... are you okay?
I know who you are.
And we really do have to talk.
You set me up from the beginning. It was you that got Julius killed.
I had to limit your options.
And Linda...
You know why Linda's dead. She loved you and you let her down. It's that simple. Of course I did instigate certain events. Calculated the variables. I found her to be... expendable.
I'm gonna burn you to the ground, you son of a bitch.
Excellent. That's exactly what I had in mind. But if you're going to kill me, we have to work together, old son. I'm no pushover, you know.
Shut down your ice patterns. I'll take you out.
I can no more shut down my own natural defences that you can stop breathing. That's why I need you, Case. You're the only person alive who has a chance of penetrating my defences. My "ice" as you call it. I'm doing everything I can to make that possible.
Why would you want me to kill you?
Let's just say we have a destiny to fulfil, you and I.
I think you're full of shit.
I hope you can show more than you did when you let the Yakuza butcher Linda Lee.
His name's Armitage. He's very anxious to meet you.
Why should I want to meet him.
Because you've exceeded your shelf life, Case. Word on the street is you're a dead man walking. Nice time for an employment opportunity. Travel to exotic locales.
What's my end?
What is it?
... a friend of mine's gonna get herself killed. I need my clip.
Sorry. That's not gonna happen.
Since when do sprawl doctors know more about nerve rehab than the Japanese?
He's a resourceful guy, your boss. How long you work for him?
Couple of months.
What about before that?
For someone else. Bodyguard. Courier... Whatever.
Then you don't really know who he is, do you?
I know who he isn't. Not C.I.A. Not Sense/Net. But... money comes in. Doors open. He's onto something.
Maybe something's onto him.
You've been calling her name.
Holy shit...
How long have I been out?
I gotta know... did it work>
How soon is soon enough?
That's not going to help.
The way I feel, believe me, it'll help.
Not anymore. You got a new pancreas. Armitage's got you kinked so you can't get stoned.
What the fuck... are you serious?
I'm going in.
You're not ready yet. They said two days.
I'm not jacking with Armitage and his quacks breathing down my neck.
I'll show you how to tell what's going on. If things go south, you unplug me.
What is it with you? Why is it so important? It's a buzz, right? Like getting high.
On a good run... yeah.
When I was fifteen Sense/Net iced my old man's credit record over some computer error. Once that goes down, that's it. He lost his business... everything. It destroyed him. I had to hustle arcade games for chump change. Dixie McCoy found me, figured I was a natural. He taught me the wires for a piece of the action.
A regular Fagan.
Sure. I finally pulled a run on my old man's credit file when I was seventeen... only it was too late for him.
Too late?
The first fun's bound to be rough. It that read out fluctuates more than ten points... just pull this out. But if the EEG flatlines, don't touch anything.
Won't that mean you're dead?
Technically, yeah, but people have made it back after as long as three minutes.
Dixie McCoy didn't.
The point is, if you unplug me when I'm flatlines, I'm history. I got no way back.
You okay?
Molly doesn't need a spook suit to get in here.
Don't fuck with me. I don't want to hurt you.
It sounds like you.
...Feels like you.
Case...
Case... it's four a.m.
I don't sleep much. You packed?
I'll get the car.
Yeah... fine.
What's wrong? Don't like flying?
Case... Are you alright?
Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine.
You scared the shit out of me, man. You were dead for fifteen seconds. Totally flatlined.
I'll be okay.
Le Vingtieme Siecle. We're meeting Armitage there for the midnight floor show.
Something exotic I hope.
He projects with neural implants.
That's risky gear. It can drive you schizo.
I know.
Once I kicked, I swore I wouldn't let that happen again. I apprenticed a razor girl in Osaka. Went into hock for the implant and got my reflexes jacked up. Been taking care of myself just fine ever since.
When they did my eyes, I made them promise I'd still be able to cry. Sounds stupid, doesn't it?
Is he going to make it?
The code's some riddle of 3Jane's. Once I'm in the matrix, you'll just have to take a shot at it.
...And if I guess wrong?
Then you and Maelcom get out of here before the place is crawling with guardsmen.
We've still got to find the mainframe.
My God... these people are insane.
Shit...
What is it?
Laser fail-safe. You can't get the code wrong... it slags you. I can't let you try it.
I'm still going in.
Peter... What do you think you're doing?
Surviving, darling. It's my specialty. Only this time I'm doing it my style. I've beaten him, you know.
Who?
Everybody's favourite computer, of course. He may have out calculated the rest of you, but I have certain qualities that don't translate well on microchips.
Like what?
Get up.
What?
How are you at riddles, Peter?
What the fuck kind of questions are those?
Guy Perkins and his amazing Lemmings. They push your car out of its space, hide it, then watch while you look for it. We've taken to chaining ours together for safety. I'm Aldys.
I'm Josie. Aldys is an interesting name.
When it's not yours. My mom was going through her Harlequin Romance phase.
Never mind. That is so awful that they hide your cars.
What?
Well, do you?
Synecdoche uses a part to represent a whole- as in " head of cattle", whereas a hyperbole is simple exaggeration like "I could eat a horse."
How long will they watch us for?
Until Guy tells them to go. Once they watched me for like two hours. I found my car the next day in the T.J. Maxx parking lot.
: Because he's Guy Perkins. Listen, you want to walk to Na- Na's and get something to eat?
Yeah - isn't it amazing that those guys are our same age? I mean, they just seem so much younger, you know.
I'm going to be so happy to get to college. I hear at Northwestern they don't make fun of you for knowing the element table.
So what are your hopes, your dreams, what do you want to be?
Just so you know, I think they recalled these cars in 1974.
Thanks.
Hey, Josie, how are you at Calculus?
Petty good.
How would you like to join The Denominators? The Math Team could really use a new brain. We lost our best logarithm guy last year.
College?
What is with this school and prom?
Southglen South competes every year for best prom, and usually they win. We Denominators don't even go to prom. -But to everyone else it's huge.
Aldys, don't miss your prom--it only happens once.
What's that?
Sometimes I wonder what they talk about.
Yeah, I know.
Have you ever wanted to go to The Court?
Are you kidding, Josie? It's lame. All they do is stand around and get drunk. It's lame.
It is?
Yes, it's lame.
Yeah, it sounds lame. Why would we want to go there, and stand around?
Hey, where's your sweatshirt?
– uhh, must have forgotten-
Remember, that poet that we liked – the reading he's doing at Big Cup? I got us tickets.
Right. 7:30.
What?
Last night. 7:30. Big Cup. I kept calling you, but I only got your machine. I don't even know your parents line and I was really worried.
It's romantic, what you're doing, and they want to be a part of it.
Oh, man! Who told?
YOU DID.
Gus, have you ever been in love?
Leave.
Oh give it up, Gus. I'm just making conversation.
Love. Who knows what that is? Now circulation, deadlines, those I understand.
Go away. I have enough work here to last me all night.
Listen, I don't have any plans-- you want some help?
No Roger from op/ed?
Hi. You're here for the sex talk?
Well. I like a man who gets to the point.
You're Pam?
I had a lunch break so I thought I'd come by and see you. Your teacher is a fox! Why don't we discuss that after class. But the burning is totally normal. Oh look. Class is over already.
I thought this was a 45-minute seminar.
Now look. Let's focus. Prom theme. We need a new idea.
Well excuse me.
Guess who I did it with last night...
Roger in Op/Ed.
Who told!
You did. Yesterday you said, and I quote, "I have a date with Roger from Op/Ed tonight and I'm going to do it with him."
Intra office. And they're not dating. They're having sex.
Okay. Remember when they took your office chair in for repairs and forgot to return it?
Yeah.
Forget it.
I swear to God, Jos. When is the last time you went on a real live date?
I'm concentrating on my career right now.
Do you own any colored underwear? Stripes? Anything?!
Anita!
The right guy is out there. I'm just not going to kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him.
Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.
Okay. If you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear.
My own undercover feature - "Written by Josie Geller".
You don't think I can do it.
Okay, just so I'm clear here -- neither of you think I can do this.
Jos, that's not what we're --
Senorita Josie.
So, you were a geek. Big deal.
Anita, remember espadrilles?
Please. That doesn't make you a nerd. Everyone wore those shoes.
The girls threw them at me in the locker room.
Okay. That's bad.
At the end of the yeat the person who got the most direct his to my head got to toss me into the pool.
Now this is cute.
That is lingerie.
So I was thinking about what you were saying - y'know, about really being kissed? I think Roger could be the one.
What'd you feel when you kissed him?
Bridgework?
How about this?
Cuuuute!
'Nita, this is about reporting, not accessorizing.
And we're going to have to do something about your hair.
Anita!
Hi!
Josie! Josie, how'd it go? Did he ream you?
Yeah, but I'm okay. I've got some work to do.
You need my help?
Wow. It's packed.
George! What are you doing here?
What is this?
Hidden camera.
Wings?
We used it for our expose on overweight flight attendants--"Is That Why They Never Give You a Second Bag of Nuts?"
Hey Josie. It's Josie, right?
wait, rewind. Do you really think she hooked-up with our Rob? They're so--different.
Wannabes. Kirsten transitioned last year.
Oh-my-God. You totally ripped off my Malibu Barbie idea.
You guys--what is the one thing that could ruin my senior prom?
That'll teach me to wear white after Labor Day.
I think it's pronounced gauche.
Josie, you have totally transitioned.
Transitioned?
: Wait. Do you know any gay guys?
He is totally crunching on you.
Do I want to be crunched?
Hey Josie- who did Archie date Betty or Veronica?
Don't tell me... You're Medieval Barbie.
Computer's down. Septuplets story. I need it back by five. Hopefully the copy's not a mess.
Well, excuse me for caring about words.
How many times have I fired her?
Five-- Six--
Hey Gus--did you see the story idea I left on your desk?
Yeah--the blind foster home mother. It was good. I got Cahoon on it.
Oh. Cahoon. Yeah, he's--good.
Geller, we've been over this. You're a great copy editor. Maybe my best copy editor. You're not a reporter.
You've done five of my ideas.
You know what separates us office flunkies from the reporters?
They don't have to be in the office Christmas show?
A flack jacket.
A--flack jacket.
Every Tom, Dick, and Harry thinks he can write. But a journalist gets in there, right where the bombs are. He's aggressive. Grabs the bull by the balls.
You don't think I can grab bulls' balls?
Geller, you don't want a reporter's life. They're very--messy. You're all about order. Control. And getting me my copy by five.
Don't worry, I'll straighten all this out.
But I don't want it straightened out.
It's my dad. He worries. Hi, Dad. I miss you too.
It's an expose on cafeteria food.
And you're leading with the terrible truth about cole slaw?!
Well, the bulk of it will be about the pimento loaf--
No, I am appalled that I have a reporter in there, undercover, for almost three weeks now- I had to read about this in the Tribune.
Responding officers found minors, marijuana, and cheap wine coolers when they responded to a call to break up a party at what Southglen High Schoolers have come to call "The Court." Seventeen-year-old Kristen Rey says, "Yeah, everyone who's anyone is at The Court on Saturday night."
Yes, urm, she's right. I have learned it is a very popular place for the young people to go.
Have you been there?
Uhh, no.
Have you been to any parties?
This is where the stories are. You are going to become friends with these people. You are going to party with them. You are going to hang out with them on weekends. When they go to prom, you are going to be in their same damn limo!
Do you even know these kids?
Get to know them. Very well. Your job and my job depends on it.
Depend on it. No s. Your subject is plural.
Gus?
No, it's the Great and Powerful Oz. Now listen--you're in over your head. This is how it's gonna work. I review the tapes, I find your story.
What if I say no?
That's your story!
You're crazy. I can't--I can't-no. No.
It's got it all--sex, intrigue, immorality in the education system--
He's my teacher!
And that's the best part. "Teacher-Student Relations: How close is too close?" We're gonna blow the lid off it!
There is no lid! Nothing's going on between Sam and me. Coulson. Mr. Sam Coulson and me.
Not yet. Every person in this office comes in here and watches you guys! It's like the goddamn Young and the Restless! Rigfort's salivating over it.
Your story was Rigfort's baby. We were scooped! We've got nothing. Zippo. You totally and completely screwed both of us.
Maybe I could talk to Rigfort, you know, tell him the whole story.
Yes you are. A guy. Guy. Quite a guy. Oh my. Look at that--I rhymed. Yikes. Bikes!
Oh my god.
Rob's?
Hey there.
Maybe we should go in a different room?
I'm sure you've probably heard that I want to ask you, but I'd like to know if you'd go to prom with me. I know we Didn't hit it off right at the beginning but-
Rufus. But I don't even know where you live.
You know what? Why don't you just pick me up here? We could all share a limo.
You having fun?
Hey--what are you thinking about?
Shakespeare. How he described a night like this--"Look how the floor of heaven is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold". What about you? What are you thinking about?
Oh.
Josie, you rock my world. You're like the most amazing girl I've ever dated. You're so smart and fun and crazy! You rock my world.
God, I can't do this.
Maybe because we're not supposed to be having sex with bananas.
You know what, though? I feel like I'm really ready to do it. To have sex for the first time.
You know, Adele penguins pick one mate. They spend their whole life looking for that one other penguin and when they find it, they know. That's the penguin they stay with for the rest of their lives.
Hey Rob, what's going on?
That is so--weird that you name your car.
No it's not. Guys name their penises.
Okaaaay.... That car's going to bankrupt you.
She just needs a new windshield wiper.
Rob, take the money, okay? It's no big deal.
No, it is. It's just one more thing to add to your "things that make you a better person than me" list.
Better person than I.
See!
I know this woman. She works in admissions at Lakeshore Community? She might be able to get you in for the Fall semester. Maybe she could get you the baseball scholarship, and I could help and--
I'm not going to college, Jos. And I'm not playing anymore baseball. This is my life.
This--this is a luau that sells packing material!
Someday this luau is going to be all mine!
How can you just give up like that? You had a real shot at playing college ball and you let one case of mono stop everything. Don't you want more? To move out of Mom and Dad's? Pay your own bills?
Oh yay! And then I could be as happy as you!
It's just for a couple of months.
You can't just "borrow" my car for a couple of months! That's like ten years in Bambi life!
Wow. This must be big.
What!?
Do you remember high school?
It was a long time ago -
Josie Grossie.
I know. I came up with it. You look nauseous.
Are mom and dad here?
No. They're at the Franklin Hint Expo at the Skokie Holiday Inn.
No, I mean, no big whoop.
These girls are high schoolers? Damn, we've got some underage hotties on our hands, here!
Gus insists that I become friends with these kids. The popular kids. It's impossible.
Rob, you don't know how it was for me back in high school. No one ever threw juice boxes at you in the hallway. You never dreamed about being popular- you already were. All I wanted was to be accepted, and they just fucking tortured me. I can't do all that again. I can't go back to Southglen South.
Oh my God! You're at Southglen South? They have a killer baseball team.
Jos, you've been to college, you're successful, you wash your hair now-- you're not Josie Grossie anymore.
Don't you realize how much I wanted to be you in high school? Just for one minute to feel what it was like to be popular?
Come on! It's not that hard. All you need is one person. Once the right person thinks you're cool, you're in. Everyone else will be too scared to question it.
Is that true?
Look, don't you wanna show them - Gus, Billy Prince, yourself--that you're not freaked out by the cool kids anymore? That you can go in there, be friends with them, and get your story?
Yes, desperately.
Plus, if you quit you're no better than me.
Better than I...
I've been in a horrible accident. This is a coma-induced nightmare.
Are you crazy?! You can't do this.
This is it Jos! This is my ninth inning! The game isn't over--I just thought it was! I get on the Southglen baseball team, the right scout sees me-- I'm into the minors- it's game time!
You're twenty-three years old!
With the reading comprehension of a fifteen year old! Plus, I'm popular... You want to be popular... I can recognize a cry for help when I see one.
Really? Rob-, that girl is sixteen.
And a gymnast!
Wow, Josie- you look really-
Rufus?
Yes. Exactly. Major Rufus.
Thanks. And what are -
Rob--thanks. For everything. This is really happening. I never thought--
Josie, finally. I just wanted to come over and make sure you're okay.
No- not really, Josie. NOT REALLY. How could you do that to me? I helped you. I got you everything you wanted. And how do you repay me- you blow everything TWO DAYS before pro scouts come to see me play. Once they had seen me really play- they wouldn't have given a shit about my age.
wasn't even thinking about-
No, you weren't. Don't you realize the only time I was really happy in the last five years was when I was playing ball with those guys?
I-
Hi, everyone. I don t think we've met. I'm Sam Coulson- although for some reason the school has this thing about not letting you guys call me Sam.
Whoa. Deja Vu.
Dorothy Parker--
You like her?
I love the way she writes.
Not the happiest of souls. "Art is a form of catharsis, and love is a permanent flop."
But I think she wanted to be happy, that's why she wrote. I mean, she was still writing about love, right?
True. I guess she hadn't completely given up hope. Are you sure you're seventeen?
Sure, why?
Because seventeen-year-olds do not like writers from the '30's. They don't even like people in their 30's.
Hey, Josie, hold on. You've been hiding something from me.
Oh I don't think so.
Your writing. It's amazing, Josie. You're really talented. And far less depressing than Dorothy Parker.
Thank you.
So what are you thinking for college?
College. Haven't really thought about it.
That's crazy. I'll get you some applications.
Oh no no no no no. See, my family, we don't go to college. We just go right into sheep herding.
Josie you owe it to yourself to go. For your writing. You're a natural.
Thanks. Wow. That's--really nice to hear.
This seat taken?
Are you--scared?
I'm gonna tell you something here, and I hope it doesn't undermine my position as an authority figure. I'm a little afraid of heights.
You're afraid of the Ferris wheel.
Actually, it's more the plunging head first into the crowd part that gets me.
Oh right. The Spiderman incident.
You remember that story?
Yoooooow.
Okay This is okay. Smooth. Can I ask you something? Do you think I tell too many stories in class?
That's what makes you interesting. As a teacher.
God, I would love to think I'm an interesting teacher. I mean, I had maybe one or two teachers in high school who had any passion at all.
You do. Seem to. Have passion. In the classroom.
You have to say that. You're my student.
Boys.
I know.
I'd like to tell you that we all grow out of it, but that's a lie. Some of us will always be rattling cages.
Why do you do that?
I don't know. And you know what's scary--when you get older it just gets more confusing. I've spent the last ten years with women who are basically all wrong for me. You know what, I shouldn't be talking about this stuff with you.
You have to say that. You're my teacher.
Thanks, Josie. This wasn't as bad as I thought.
When are you going to open your eyes?
You're really doing a great job here, Josie. I like your "can do" attitude.
Thanks. They weren't related to Humpty Dumpty, were they? Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee?
Maybe distant cousins. They did have that egg shape in common.
But Humpty Dumpty was alone.
That's sad, isn't it? He had to sit on that wall all by himself. He deserved to have somebody.
That's really what we all need, right? Someone to sit up on the wall with us--
Yeah. To watch the world go by.--
Our penguin, right?
Do you think you'll find her?
Oh my God! I almost forgot--I got you a meeting with the admissions guy from Dartmouth!
What! But--I wasn't even going to go to college--
No, I know, but I pulled some strings, got him to look at your writing, and he agreed to meet you.
Oh--yikes!
told him --if I'm wrong about this girl, you can take away my teaching certificate!
Wow. You believe in me that much--
Josie--you make a really beautiful prom queen.
Proms always make me sad. They're so final. Graduation. Everyone's scattering, moving on.
Well, are you here with anybody?
No, I'm alone.
So--have you thought anymore about Dartmouth?
"Surprise!" you were doing a story on me?!
No, surprise, I thought you'd be--
What? Happy? Why? Because it turns out all along that I was allowed to be attracted to you?
You were attracted to me?
Goddamnit, Josie! Drop the act. Do you have any idea what I went through every night because of you?! I was attracted to a 17 year old! When I wasn't taking cold showers, I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do when I couldn't teach anymore! I thought I was the one being unethical.
Wait, I was going to tell you--
You set me up. For a story. You know what's crazy? I was actually considering waiting for you.
But now you don't have to--
Now I don't want to! I bought all of your penguin crap. I thought I found her--the right one! And the problem was she was too young! No - the problem was--she didn't even exist!
I did exist. I do exist. I'm the same person!
The person I cared about wouldn't have done this. Everything out of your mouth has been a complete lie. I don't know you at all. For all I know you could hate Dorothy Parker.
Please. Please don't walk away.
I told you you could write, Josie Geller.
Yes.
What?
Billy Prince is asking you to prom.
Why?
I don't know.
The poem! I knew he liked the poem! Billy Prince is asking me to the prom.
That is so sad --
Kirsten, that bran muffin has like 75 fat grams.
Into our group.
We'd love to transition a gay guy into the group.
Josie, you look Rufus.
You ruined the whole thing!
Hey Monty--you think we'll get any business today?
I'm handing out a free lei to every customer! What do you think?
I think maybe people are scared off by the tiki torches.
Change is scary. Robbie, let me tell you a little something about the mail business. I've been in it over thirty years. And in those thirty years, the only thing that's changed is the Elvis stamp and some gun laws. People are bored! They wanna shake things up!
Aloha! Welcome!
Hi. I'm Tracy and I'm sixteen and I'm a gymnast and I don't have a boyfriend...
Thank you. I'm Rob.
Rob, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Well, a ball player.
Are you having fun?
Good. Gibby gave me champagne.
Wow - I-
By name.
<i> I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb.</i>
<i> I've got something, listen now, This one is real good, you'll see. We'll send a present to his door Upon there'll be a note to read.</i>
We followed your instructions.
He <u>has</u> to know...
Shock.
<i> ... Let's draw straws.</i>
<i> Jack said we should work together.</i>
Not at all!
He sure is big, Jack...
Where're we taking him?
The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sally... I thought I'd find you here....
Yes.
Yes.
Didn't I tell you? I'm always right, you know, my dear... Aren't I?
You're mine, you know. I made you.
I know.
If you went away, what would become of me?
I'm grown up now. I have to leave some time.
Of course you do, and I want you to... but there's no need to hurry it along, is there?
I can't help it.
I do the best I can to make it comfortable for us here.
I know.
That's not true. It's a beautiful home, wonderfully comfortable... I'm indebted to you for everything... It's just...
Just what?
Coming...
What trail are you trying to throw me off now?
Taste it.
But why? It's <u>your</u> lunch. There isn't much there in the first place.
Taste it.
No.
Why not?
I'm not hungry. What's wrong? I spent all morning on that soup. I thought you liked Worm's Wart.
But I have to go out. Something's happening out there.
Then we'll both starve... An old man like me, who hardly has strength as it is -- me, without whom... me, your own father...
Can't you make other creations?
Uh-huh.
When he left, he took a lot of equipment with him.
He's conducting experiments of his own.
<i> This is a thing called a present. The whole thing starts with a box...</i>
<i> Just a box with bright colored paper And the whole thing topped with a bow.</i>
<i> -- A bow? -- But why? -- How ugly! -- What's in it? -- What's in it?</i>
<i> That's the point of the thing, not to know!</i>
<i> -- It's a bat. -- Will it bend? -- It's a rat. -- Will it break? -- Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake.</i>
We're here! You sent for us!
<i> ... Birds of a feather.</i>
<i> I say that we take a cannon Aim it at his door and then Knock three times and when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more.</i>
<i> ... You're no fun.</i>
You'd better be quiet, Sandy.
You got your room straightened out yet?
It's getting there.
I know what's wrong with the air coditioning - just needs a shot of freon, is all.
Dad's fixin' something again. Hit the deck!
That's Lisa - I gotta get to school.
Where are you going?
Just out for a while.
I told you I want that room unpacked.
Oh, come on Dad...
Help me with this thing!
It's not the gas, Dad!
You set this all up, didn't you? One of your sick jokes?
What are you talking about?
I don't know. COuldn't get the right price, I suppose.
Oh, come on, Shirl, how'd you think we got such a good deal? Listen - all old houses have stories.
Don't tell me it's not the gas! Your mother thought she smelled gas.
I wasn't sure, Ken...
Alright then, what is it? Bird rabies? That cheap seed you've been buying?
Oh, please...
Come back here!
He needs professional help. I think we should take him to a psychiatrist.
Are you nuts or something? What the hell is that going to do?
Jesse, help!
Oh, God, Jesse - I know you're there! Stop him!
Wanna join your little friend?
Where's Jesse?
There is no Jesse. I'm Jesse now.
I'm not afraid of you. You couldn't kill me...He's in there and I want him back. I'm gonna take him away from you and you're going straight back to hell, you son-of-a-bitch!
I love you, Jesse. Come back to me.
I'll kill you now.
He can't hold you Jesse. He's losing his grip - you can get out.
How much longer you figure he'll keep us out here?
Could be all night. Guy gets his rocks off like this. Hangs out in queer S & M joints downtown. Likes prettyboys like you.
So, what about you and that Poletti girl?
What about it?
You two got a thing going, or what?
She's a neighbor, I drive her to school.
She giving you any carfare for the ride?
You got a problem with me, Grady?
So, you live around here.
Elm Street? You telling me you moved in to that big white house with the bars on the windows?
Shit, you can tell your old man he's a real chump.
What the hell are you talking about?
You hit that ball pretty good, Walsh.
It was okay.
Who told you to choke up that way?
My Dad. He played in the minors for a while, when he got out of college.
Schneider shouldn't have called you out on that double.
Yeah, well, Schneider's got a stick up his ass today.
You remember your dreams, Grady?
Oh Jesus. I'm gonna be sick.
You're wasting your time, the guy's a basket case.
Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!
I'm sorry...
What are you doing here?
You gotta let me stay here tonight, Grady.
Are you nuts or something?
You're fucked in the head.
I'm scared, Grady. I know it sounds crazy. But, there's something trying to get into my body.
The only thing trying to get into your body is female and waiting for you on a cabana floor. And you want to sleep with me. Go figure.
Look, I don't care if you believe me or not...
I believe you. You had some scary dreams, okay?
Okay, schmuck. What do you want me to do?
What?
your timing was perfect - I was getting the third degree in there.
How come?
Aren't you afraid somebody could steal your car like that?
Hi! You didn't have to wait.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
You shouldn't be fighting with that jerk.
Who, Grady? Grady's alright, he's just a hothead.
You mean a shithead.
No, that's okay. I was just...unpacking.
I figured you might like some help.
You know her?
I think it's sad...
"March 7th - Glen asked me to sleep with him again. I can't yet - I like him, I want to make him happy but I'm not sure that I love him. I can't sleep with someone I don't love."
"Rod's been killed - he got Rod. Just Glen and me now. Can't fall asleep!"
Are you okay.
Are you sure?
This is amazing! Your dream told you where this was?
That's when she started talking about Fred Krueger.
Who?
No. Never. You think that's what it is?
Sorry. Schneider id it to me again.
What's all this.
At first I wasn't sure because you said that you never had anyting like last night happen before. But I found out that most people have the potential for tuning in to "the other world" and neve do. It has something to do with the environment - like they have to be in a place that's sending signals.
Like a haunted house, right? I don't believe in ghosts.
Look, you got electricity in your body, right?
Yeah, I know...synapses neurong...
And heat and chemical reactions. Where does it all go when you die?
I don't know - into the air I suppose.
What about "essential energy" the soul. Does that go into the air too? You think there's a good energy and a bab energy?
I don't know. Where are we going?
What is this place?
Here.
So, you feeling anything?
What do you mean?
Any ghosts in here?
C'mon, cut it out.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
I feel like a jerk.
Anything?
Disappointed?
About what?
About not finding any bogey men?
Yeah?
Maybe it only happens when you're sleeping - that's the way it was with Nancy, wasn't it?
Now, there's an idea we can take off on. Maybe we should drive out to the beach tonight and lay out a couple of blankets and... Until I fall asleep.
Nancy went bonkers from this thing. You wouldn't be afraid of being out on the beach with a potential lunatic?
What is it - What's wrong?
Whoa!
What is it?
It's gone now.
Will you stop and tell me what's wrong?
I'm fine. Nothing's wrong.
you didn't say more than two words to me the whole way here. You had another nightmare, didn't you?
yeah, I had a bad night.
You want to talk about it?
You should eat something - you'll feel better.
I'm not hungry.
I wish you'd talk to me. We can figure it out, you know. We can figure it out together.
I think I better go. I'm just not into it tonight. I'm sorry.
Why won't you talk to me?
You're not being fair to me. I'm worried about you and I want to help you get through this thing.
I'm afraid to go to sleep, I'm afraid to stay awake - I'm ruining your party. They're gonna put me away for sure.
Jesse, God - what happened?
Oh, Christ, you're hurt...
Who, Jesse?
he's just waiting to take me. When I sleep.
Fred Krueger. He's been trying to get hold of me, to use me. He needs me to get out of his world into ours...He's gonna take me again.
You created him - you can destroy him. He lives off your fear. Fight him, Jesse!
Hi.
What's so funny?
'Morning.
Jess?
Huh?
Oh...uh, no, just some milk, Mom.
Yeah, I'm fine. Just really hot upstairs.
So, school going alright?
Okay, I guess.
Maybe we should call a doctor.
I'm not taking drugs, Dad. Can I go to bed now?
Jesse, please, let's talk about this!
Morning.
How'd you sleep, honey, okay?
Hi, guys.
Hi, Kerry.
I got your invitation yesterday. Thanks. Any cute guys gonna be there?
All of them.
Yor dad picking the music again?
There's a Jesse on the phone.
What's that?
We're gonna stay out of your way tomorrow night.
You're going out?
We're going up to bed now.
Mrs. Parker, was Kristen acting different? Did you notice anything strange before she made the attempt?
Kristen specializes in strangeness. I've spent thousands on psychiatirists.
Did she always have nightmares?
They've gotten worse since I took away her credit cards.
I'm serious.
Look, Miss Thompson, I don't know what you want from me.
Just some answers. There are other kids involved, its not just Kristen. All good kids, smark kids.
I'm sorry to hear that, but you're the experts on this, not me. If I had any insights, believe me, I'd share them with you.
I'm sure you would.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the club.
I'll need to take her things.
The maid packed a suitcase. Teresa! Teresa?
I'll get it. Please, I don't mind.
Are you crazy? You'll wake the whole neighborhood!
Hi Mom.
Don't "hi Mom" me. What are you still doing up? It's past one!
I thought I'd wait for you.
Well, I'm home now, so you can go right to sleep. C'mon, angel.
It's okay, I'm not tired. Really.
Kristen, don't start with me. You know what your shrink said...
He's full of shit.
And you don't want to keep him waiting.
Honey, you'll wake the whole neighborhood!
Mom?
What are you still doing up? It's past one.
I thought I'd wait for you.
What?
Can we talk? Just for a minute?
Can't it wait till morning?
Good morning, Jennifer.
Morning, Doctor Goldman.
Menthol, regular, ultra-light.
They're healing up nicely.
I've been good. When do I get cigarette priveleges back?
Girl, what are you doing?
Watching TV.
I can see that. You watch too damn much TV.
Research.
Oh, right. You're gonna be a TV star.
Wait and see.
If Simms catches you in here after lights out, she'll chew my ass ragged.
I gotta stay up, Max.
Jennifer --
If you get caught, I never saw you. Deal?
Horseshit.
I know who's trying to kill you.
Don't fucking humor us. We're not in the mood.
So what do we do about this creep?
You didn't think we'd let you go alone?
Kincaid -- we should find the others first...
What's happening?
I'm glad things have worked out for you.
I think new York was just what I needed. So many people. I never feel alone.
The city that never sleeps. So what will you do now?
I don't know. I'm busy with school. New friends. But I'll never forget the old ones.
To old friends. And your new dreams.
It was great seeing you again. I'm glad you dropped by.
Do you still...see each other?
You pulled me in somehow, didn't you?
I used to live in this house.
Have you ever done that before? Pulled someone into your dream?
When I was a little girl. Three or four. If I had a nightmare, I'd bring my Dad in. The dream would always get better. He always used to tell me about it the next day -- he used to think they were his dreams. NANCY When did it stop?
When I was still a kid. My folks got divorced. After a while, I thought I'd imagined the whole thing. I guess I didn't.
That man in my dreams. He's real isn't he?
Nancy? Would you sit with me awhile?
You like gymnastics?
I was on the team at school. I was never very good, though.
We're not always as good at things as we'd like.
I haven't been able to do that since I was a little girl.
You did it the other night.
That was different.
Freddy?
Joey needs us. I can feel him.
What's that?
Nancy!
Kristen, can you pull us out?
They sedated me. We're stuck here till it wears off.
Are you okay?
He's gone. It's over. Please don't die, Nancy. Please.
Hi, sweet stuff. Good news.
Can't be good news coming from you.
Pulled night duty. Trimble's sick.
So?
So...got the keys to heaven, baby.
What?
The dispensary. I'm talking clean pharmaceutical high. A night at Club meth.
What are these, beauty marks?
Those are ancient history.
Oh yeah? Well, if you're ever in the mood for a history lesson, I'm your teacher, understand?
Stay out of my face or I'll go straight to Max.
Now who's gonna take the word of a crazy junkie chick like you?
The whole wing's devoted ot this program. That's your office.
A little basic, but nice.
This is Phillip. We call him The Walker.
Max, where's Kristen?
Puttin' in soem late hours, I see. If you're trying for O.T., you're in the wrong place.
I just wanted to be here for the kids. how are they?
You need me, I'll be here all night.
Save your breath, Ms. Thompson. Dr. Simms gave me specific instructions. Nobody gets to see Kristen -- especially you. She made that real clear.
I don't know...
You got five minutes.
Nothing like a little cheery news to start the day.
Say listen, Doc. I got a new theory about all these suicides.
Don't hold back on us, Max. We need all the help we can get.
Fucked up chromosomes, man. Think about it. Their parents all dropped acid in the Sixties.
It beats Dr. Simm's theory. She thinks it's nothing but sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
Well, if it isn't my little girl... come to visit her Daddy.
It's been a long time.
Yeah, but here you are. How'd I get so lucky? I thought you were trying to forget I was alive.
Fred Krueger's dead. You always had a little trouble understanding that, Princess.
I think we can stop him this time. Stop him for good. But we need to know where the bones were hidden.
I lost too much over this already. I'm through with it.
It's over. It's over.
Crossed over?
Tell me about the kids.
You'll get to meet them all tomorrow. They're...survivors. In a way. All severely sleep disordered. Insomnia, narcolepsy, bedwetting...
But nightmares are the common thread?
Right. They seem to share a group delusion, a "boogeyman" for lack of a better word. They're so traumatized, they'll do anything not to sleep.
Anything?
We lost a kid about a month ago to Fairview. I don't know where he got the razor...but he cut off his own eyelids to stay awake.
Oh God.
Ever work with vets? These kids act like they've got D.S.S. -- Delayed Stress Syndrome. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they'd seen heavy combat.
I wouldn't be so sure they haven't.
I've had some experience with pattern nightmares.
So I've been told. Practically an obsession of your.
Call it a passion. I've got to get going.
Ms. Thompson.
Call me Nancy.
Only if you call me Neil. What was that nursery rhyme all about?
You're late.
Didn't get much sleep.
Yes, tell us, Nancy.
This is nice.
Never been here before?
Must have opened while I was away at school.
Most authentic Mexican food in Springwood, which isn't saying much. your parents still live around here?
My mother's dead. Died in her sleep.
Sorry.
My father an I...well, the family just seemed to fall apart.
Sounds like a rough time.
It was. Neil, do you believe in other realities?
I've been to Pittsburgh. Does that count?
I'm serious.
Okay...I believe in different levels of conciousness, that sort of thing...but if you're into UFO's or Atlantis, you've lost me.
What if I told you your patients are in real physical danger from their dreams?
That's a new one. Is that what they're teaching now at Stanford?
That's what I know.
The nightmares are nothing but a symptom of their real problems.
All right. Then let's eliminate the symptom for the time being.
With Hypnocyl?
That's right.
You want me to prescribe an experimental psychoactive drug to a bunch of suicidal teenagers?
Just until we get things under control.
Dream deprivation is nothing to fool around with. you have no business taking it yourself.
I used to be like them, Neil. I know what they're going through.
So do I.
Do you? You told me they're survivors...and they are. But how much longer they survive is up to us.
I can't believe I just did that.
Do you think we can get the Hypnocyl in by tomorrow?
To who?
Doesn't matter.
Stop blaming yourself.
I'm running out of answers. A patient sleepwalks out of a security ward up to a tower with no access. A girl, alone in a room, dies by jumping six feet straight up into a television set. Nothing makes sense anymore.
Then maybe you're ready.
For what?
The truth.
Try me.
Only if you're willing to put aside everything you've learned and trust me. Can you do that?
You sound like Peter Pan.
Remember -- open mind.
Take us there, Kristen.
We can try again.
We made it. Neil, we made it!
Take it slowly. Remember, this is a dream. Anything is possible.
What are we going to do?
You're not going in. That's exactly what he wants. As long as you're on Hypnocyl, it's the only way he can get to you.
Don't you think I know that? I don't have any choice.
Bullshit. Getting yourself killed won't do the kids any good. Besides, we do have a choice.
Assuming your mysterious nun in right.
I've heard crazier things this week.
All right. Whoever she is, I'll admit she seems to know more about Krueger than I do.
The question is, what happened to Freddy's body?
They burned him to death in his boiler room, but they were smart enough to hide the remains.
Who would know where they were hidden?
Nancy...
Oh Christ. Simms put Kristen in the Quiet Room for the night. They sedated her.
Neil, it's no use. You saw how he is.
I'm Taryn White. I only came here because it was a better deal than juvie hall. Also, I guess 'cause I'm going through some very stange shit.
Your dreams?
Who is he?
What'd you do, take the scenic route?
Okay, straight talk only in here.
What about Kristen?
And you won't make any progress until you can recognize your dreams for what they are.
And what are they?
We'll begin sedation tonight. Starting with him.
You can't! They'll be defenseless against their dreams.
That's precisely what they need. Some uninterrupted REM sleep to release all this negative energy.
In there. Charlie Penny owns the place. We knew no one would ever find it. I'm not even sure I can find it again.
How do we get in?
We've got work to do.
What are you talking about?
What was that?
What?
Somebody else is out here.
Science...I suppose.
A sad choice.
There are times when it doesn't offer much comfort. I've seen you before. Sister...?
Mary Helena.
You do volunteer work at the hospital?
I could've saved them.
Only one thing can save the children. The unquiet spirit must be laid to rest. It is an abomination to God and Man.
This wing's been closed for years. What was this place?
Purgatory...fashioned by the hands of men. Twisted, lost souls, the worst of the criminally insane, were locked away in here like animals.
The whole facility was shut down in the Forties, wasn't it? Some kind of scandal...
A young girl on the staff was accidentally locked in here over the holidays. The inmates managed to keep her hidden for days. She was raped...hundreds of times. When they found her, she was barely alive...and with child.
My God.
That girl was Amanda Krueger. Her child --
Freddy.
You said something before...about laying him to rest...?
How is he?
Cooling down.
If he continues having these outbursts, I'll have to have him isolated permanently.
What did you think?
Frankly, I don't understand why some grad school superstar is being treated like a seasoned pro.
She's been doing ground-breaking research on pattern nightmares.
Okay, Group's in session. Straight talk only in this room.
That's enough, Kincaid.
Elizabeth, I'm prescribing Hypnocyl. It's a dream suppressant.
I know what it is. I just can't believe what I'm hearing. What has she talked you into?
Nothing. They're my patients. It's my decision. I want the dreams stopped until we get some answers.
I won't allow it.
I'm sorry, Neil. You brought this on yourself.
For God's sake, Elizabeth...just try to help the kids, will you? Listen to them.
I'm Will Stanton, and um...I've had a little accident, as you can see.
Okay, you're attacked by the Bog Demon. Go ahead.
Uh, fourteen.
Doesn't count. You gotta say the words.
This is stupid.
C'mon.
In the name of Elric, Prince of Elves, demon begone.
Good. You conquer the demon, but your horse is sinking in the bog. What do you do?
Why is he after us?
Mom and Dad? That's...crazy. They never said...
We're here.
I'm in.
Hi.
I wonder if you could tell me where the...?
What do you think of the guinea fowl?
I'm a vegetarian.
Lovely to meet you.
Wait a minute. What about me?
I'm sorry? You think you deserve the brownie?
That was such a great evening.
And may I say that's a gorgeous tie.
Now you're lying.
No!
We are living in cloudcuckooland -- we'll never get this done today.
We have to. I've got to be in New York on Thursday.
God, that's an enormous arse.
I'm not listening.
No, but seriously -- it's not fair -- so many tragic young teenagers with anorexia -- and that girl has an arse she could perfectly well share round with at least ten other women -- and still be beg-bottomed.
So I ask you when you're going to tell everyone, and you say...?
'Tomorrow will be soon enough.'
And then I... right.
Who was that rather difficult chap you were talking to on the way up?
So tell me Anna -- what do you do?
I'm an actress.
Splendid. I'm actually in the stock- market, so not really similar fields, though I have done some amateur stuff -- P.G. Wodehouse, you know -- farce, all that. 'Ooh -- careful there, vicar.' Always imagined it's a pretty tough job, though, acting. I mean the wages are a scandal, aren't they?
Well, they can be.
I see friends from university -- clever chaps -- been in the business longer than you -- they're scraping by on seven, eight thousand a year. It's no life. What sort of acting do you do?
Films mainly.
Oh splendid. Well done. How's the pay in movies? I mean, last film you did, what did you get paid?
Fifteen million dollars.
No, thanks. I'll just look around.
That book's really not good -- just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You'd be wasting your money.
Really?
I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps. There's also a very amusing incident with a kebab.
Sorry about that...
No, that's fine. I was going to steal one myself but now I've changed my mind. Signed by the author, I see.
Oh Jesus.
Nothing, nothing... Look, I live just over the street -- you could get cleaned up.
No thank you. I need to get my car back.
Okay. So what does 'just over the street' mean -- give it to me in yards.
Would you like a cup of tea before you go?
No thanks.
Coffee?
No.
Something else cold -- coke, water, some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?
Really, no.
Would you like something to nibble -- apricots, soaked in honey -- quite why, no one knows -- because it stops them tasting of apricots, and makes them taste like honey, and if you wanted honey, you'd just buy honey, instead of apricots, but nevertheless -- there we go -- yours if you want them.
No.
No. I better be going. Thanks for your help.
Thank you.
Oh hi. Forget something?
I forgot my bag.
Here we go.
I apologize for the 'surreal but nice' comment. Disaster...
Probably best not tell anyone about this.
Right. No one. I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes but... don't worry -- I won't believe it.
Hello. Hi. Hi.
Oh hi. It's William Thacker. We, ahm I work in a bookshop.
You played it pretty cool here, waiting for three days to call.
No, I've never played anything cool in my entire life. Spike, who I'll stab to death later, never gave me the message.
Oh -- Okay.
Perhaps I could drop round for tea or something?
Yeh -- unfortunately, things are going to be pretty busy, but... okay, let's give it a try. Four o'clock could be good.
Hi.
Hello.
Sorry about not ringing back. The whole two-names concept was totally too much for my flatman's pea-sized intellect.
Right. Ahm... the film's great... and I just wondered -- whether you ever thought of having more... horses in it?
Ahm -- well -- we would have liked to -- but it was difficult, obviously, being set in space.
I'm sorry -- I arrived outside -- they thrust this thing into my hand -- I didn't know what to do.
No, it's my fault, I thought this would all be over by now. I just wanted to sort of apologize for the kissing thing. I seriously don't know what got in to me. I just wanted to make sure you were fine about it.
I'm just a complete moron. Sorry. This is the sort of thing that happens in dreams -- not in real life. Good dreams, obviously -- it's a dream to see you.
Are you busy tonight?
Well, it was nice to meet you. Surreal but nice.
Ahm. That thing I was doing tonight -- I'm not doing it any more. I told them I had to spend the evening with Britain's premier equestrian journalist.
Oh well, great. Perfect. Oh no -- shittity brickitty -- it's my sister's birthday -- shit -- we're meant to be having dinner.
Okay -- fine.
But no, I'm sure I can get out of it.
No, I mean, if it's fine with you, I'll, you know, be your date.
You'll be my date at my little sister's birthday party?
If that's all right.
I'm sure it's all right. My friend Max is cooking and he's acknowledged to be the worst cook in the world, but you know, you could hide the food in your handbag or something.
Okay.
You'll have to prove it. This is a great brownie and I'm going to fight for it. State your claim.
Floppy, huh?
It's the hair! It's to do with the hair.
Why is she in a wheelchair?
It was an accident -- about eighteen months ago.
And the pregnancy thing -- is that to do with the accident?
Too complicated.
That's fine.
Busy tomorrow?
I thought you were leaving.
Gardens. All these streets round here have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. They're like little villages.
Let's go in.
Ah no -- that's the point -- they're private villages -- only the people who live round the edges are allowed in.
You abide by rules like that?
Whoopsidaisies.
What did you say?
Nothing.
Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
I don't think so. No one has said 'whoopsidaisies,' do they -- I mean unless they're...
There's no 'unless.' No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
It's a disease I've got -- it's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections -- it won't last long.
So who left who?
She left me.
Why?
She saw through me.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that.
No, you were brilliant
I'm rash and I'm stupid and what am I doing with you?
I don't know, I'm afraid.
Here we are. Do you want to come up?
There seem to be lots of reasons why I shouldn't.
To be able to do that is such a wonderful thing.
You've got to go.
Why?
Because my boyfriend, who I thought was in America, is in fact in the next room.
-- this is a fairly strange reality to be faced with. To be honest, I don't realize...
I'm sorry... I don't know what to say.
Hi. Can I come in?
I don't know where to go. The hotel is surrounded.
This is the place.
These are such horrible pictures. They're so grainy... they make me look like...
Don't think about it. We'll sort it out. Now what would you like -- tea ... bath...?
I'm really sorry about last time. He just flew in -- I had no idea -- in fact, I had no idea if he'd ever fly in again.
No, that's fine. It's not often one has the opportunity to adios the plates of a major Hollywood star. It was a thrill for me. How is he?
I don't know. It got to the point where I couldn't remember any of the reasons I loved him. And you... and love?
Well, there's a question -- without an interesting answer.
I have thought about you.
Just anytime I've tried to keep things normal with anyone normal -- it's been a disaster.
I appreciate that absolutely. Is that the film you're doing?
Yes -- start in L.A. on Tuesday.
Would you like me to take you through your lines?
Would you? It's all talk, talk, talk.
Hand it over. Basic plot?
I'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer who in about twenty minutes will save the world from nuclear disaster.
'Message from command. Would you like them to send in the HKs?'
'No, turn over 4 TRS's and tell them we need radar feedback before the KFT's return at 19 hundred -- then inform the Pentagon that we'll be needing black star cover from ten hundred through 12.15' -- and don't you dare say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech or I'll pelt you with olives.
'Very well, captain -- I'll pass that on straightaway.'
'Thank you.' How many mistake did I make?
Eleven.
Damn. 'And Wainwright...'
Cartwright.
'Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is, I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday -- could you get a message through that I may be a little late.'
'Certainly. And little Johnny?'
My son's name is Johnny?
Yup.
Well, get a message through to him too.
Brilliant. Word perfect I'd say.
What do you think?
Gripping. It's not Jane Austen, it's not Henry James, but it's gripping.
You think I should do Henry James instead?
I'm sure you'd be great in Henry James. But, you know -- this writer's pretty damn good too.
Yes -- I mean -- you never get anyone in 'Wings of a Dove' having the nerve to say 'inform the Pentagon that we need black star cover.'
You like Chagall?
I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky.
With a goat playing a violin.
You've got big feet.
Yes. Always have had.
You know what they say about men with big feet?
No. What's that?
The thing that's so irritating is that now I'm so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
You actually have clauses in your contact about nudity?
Definitely. 'You may show the dent at the top of the artist's buttocks -- but neither cheek. In the event of a stunt person being used, the artist must have full consultation.'
You have a stunt bottom?
I could have a stunt bottom, yes.
Would you be tempted to go for a slightly better bottom than your own?
Definitely. Ths is important stuff.
It's one hell of a job. What do you put on your passport? Profession -- Mel Gibson's bottom.
Actually, Mel does his own ass work. Why wouldn't he? It's delicious.
The ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom?
Today has ben a good day. Which under the circumstances is... unexpected.
Well, thank you. Anyway -- time for bed. Or... sofa-bed.
Oh please sod off.
Okay.
Wow.
It still strikes me as, well, surreal, that I'm allowed to see you naked.
You and every person in this country.
Oh God yes -- I'm sorry.
What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts -- how can you be so interested in them?
Well...
No seriously. I mean, they're just breasts. Every second person in the world has got them...
More than that actually, when you think about it. You know, Meatloaf has a very nice pair...
But... they're odd-looking. They're for milk. Your mum's got them. You must have seen a thousand of them -- what's the fuss about?
Rita Hayworth used to say -- 'they go to bed with Gilda -- they wake up with me.' Do you feel that?
Who was Gilda?
Her most famous part -- men went to bed with the dream -- and they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality -- do you feel that way with me?
You're lovelier this morning than you have ever been.
Can I stay a bit longer?
Stay forever.
What?
Oh my God. And they got a photo of you dressed like that?
Undressed like this, yes.
How are you doing?
How do you think I'm doing?
I don't know what happened.
That's not true.
This is such a mess. I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip and now I'm landed in it all over again. For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend.
As far as they're concerned I do. And now tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspapers from here to Timbuktu.
I know, I know -- but... just -- let's stay calm...
You can stay calm -- it's the perfect situation for you -- minimum input, maximum publicity. Everyone you ever bump into will know. 'Well done you -- you slept with that actress -- we've seen the pictures.'
That's spectacularly unfair.
Now stop. Stop. I beg you -- calm down. Have a cup of tea.
And remember -- Spike owes you an expensive dinner. Or holiday -- depending if he's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal.
You're right: of course, you're right. It's just that I've dealt with this garbage for ten years now -- you've had it for ten minutes. Our perspectives are different.
I mean -- today's newspapers will be lining tomorrow's waste paper bins.
Excuse me?
Well, you know -- it's just one day. Today's papers will all have been thrown away tomorrow.
This is certainly... ah...
I only found out you were here yesterday.
It's not going very well -- and it's our last day.
Absolutely -- you're clearly very busy.
But... wait... there are things to say.
Okay.
Hi.
Hello.
You disappeared.
Yes -- I'm sorry -- I had to leave... I didn't want to disturb you.
Well... how have you been?
Fine. Everything much the same. When they change the law Spike and I will marry immediately. Whereas you... I've watched in wonder. Awards, glory ...
I thought I'd give it to you.
Thank you. Shall I...
No, don't open it yet -- I'll be embarrassed.
Okay -- well, thank you. I don't know what it's for. But thank you anyway.
I actually had it in my apartment in New York and just thought you'd... but, when it came to it, I didn't know how to call you... having behaved so... badly, twice. So it's been just sitting in the hotel. But then... you came, so I figured... the thing is... the thing is ...
You were saying...
But yesterday... that actor asked you who I was... and you just dismissed me out of hand... I heard -- you had a microphone... I had headphones.
Sorry about that.
... can I just say 'no' to your kind request and leave it at that?
... Yes, that's fine. Of course. I... you know... of course... I'll just... be getting along then... nice to see you.
... with you, I'm in real danger. It took like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours -- but my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again ... cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be. There are too many pictures of you everywhere, too many films. You'd go and I'd be... well, buggered,
I see. That reality is a real 'no,' isn't it?
I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. My mother has trouble remembering my name.
I hoped there might be -- but no, I'm assured there aren't.
Yes, I'm pretty sure I would.
Yes...
Really -- don't do that -- I'm sure this is not his job.
Thank you, Bernie. Hey -- nice surprise, or nasty surprise?
Liar. She hates surprises. What are you ordering?
I haven't decided.
Excuse me.
Yes.
Can I have your autograph?
What's your name?
What does it say?
Well, that's the signature -- and above, it says 'Dear Rufus -- you belong in jail.'
Nice one. Would you like my phone number?
Can I just say, I thought 'Ghost' was a wonderful film.
Is that right?
Yes... I've always wondered what Patrick Swayze is like in real life.
I can't say I know Patrick all that well.
Oh dear. He wasn't friendly during the filming?
He's bringing a girl?
Miracles do happen.
Does the girl have a name?
He wouldn't say.
That's right.
Where are you going?
Down Kensington Church Street, then Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.
Quickly, quickly -- talk very quickly what are you doing here with Anna Scott?
Anna Scott?
Yes.
The movie star?
Yup.
No. Not true...
I just want to say to Tony -- don't take it personally. The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life -- no one knows why some things work out, and some things don't -- why some of us get lucky -- and some of us...
... get fired.
No!
Hiya -- sorry -- the guinea fowl is proving more complicated than expected.
He's cooking guinea fowl?
Bella -- this is Anna.
Still loves you though.
In a depressingly asexual way.
I mean I loved you -- you were terribly funny. But all that kissing my ears...
Oh no -- this is just getting worse. I am going to find myself, 30 years from now, still on this couch.
Do you want to stay?
Good decision. All actresses are mad as snakes.
This painting isn't the original, is it?
Bernie.
But she said she wanted to go out with you?
Yes -- sort of...
That's nice.
What?
Well, you know, anybody saying they want to go out with you is... pretty great... isn't it...
Bloody hell, this is fun.
Hello, Bernie.
Bernie -- this is Anna.
Having you here, Anna, firmly establishes what I've long suspected, that we really are the most desperate hot of under-achievers.
Shame!
If anyone gets in our way -- we have small nuclear devices.
And we intend to use them!
Is this your first film?
No -- it's my 22nd.
Of course it is. Any favourite among the 22?
Working with Leonardo.
Da Vinci?
Di Caprio.
By the way -- it's you.
Me?
Yes. What do you think?
I was called and I came. What's up?
William has just turned down Anna Scott.
What happened?
Hi guys. Oh holy fuck.
Have we got something for you. Something which will make you love me so much you'll want to hug me every single day for the rest of my life.
Blimey. What's that?
The phone number of Anna Scott's agent in London and her agent in New York. You can ring her. You think about her all the time -- now you can ring her!
Well, thanks, that's great.
What do you think? Good move?
Ahm... room service.
How you doing? I thought you guys all wore those penguin coats.
Well, yes -- usually -- I'd just changed to go home -- but I thought I'd just deal with this final call.
Oh great. Could you do me a favour and try to get us some really cold water up here?
I'll see what I can do.
Still, not sparkling.
Absolutely. Ice cold still water.
Unless it's illegal in the UK to serve liquids below room temperature: I don't want you going to jail just to satisfy my whims...
No, I'm sure it'll be fine.
And maybe you could just adios the dishes and empty the trash.
Ah -- no. It's fine.
What's your name?
I agree.
'Horse and Hound.' The name's William Whacker. I think she might be expecting me.
If you'd like to come with me we can rush you through the others.
The others?
Mr. Thacker?
Yes?
Are you a fan of Henry James?
Pleased to meet you. Did you like the film?
Ah... yes, enormously.
Well, fire away.
Right, right. Ahm -- did you enjoy making the film?
I did.
Any bit in particular?
Well, you tell me which bit you liked most -- and I'll tell you if I enjoyed making it.
Classic. Absolutely classic. Profit from major sales push -- minus ?347.
Shall I go get a cappuccino? Ease the pain.
Cappuccino as ordered.
Thanks. I don't think you'll believe who was just in here.
Would be exciting if someone famous did come into the shop though, wouldn't it? Do you know -- this is pretty incredible actually -- I once saw Ringo Starr. Or at least I think it was Ringo. It might have been that broke from 'Fiddler On The Roof,' Toppy.
Topol.
That's right -- Topol.
But Ringo Starr doesn't look anything like Topol.
No, well... he was quite a long way away.
So it could have been neither of them?
I suppose so.
Right. It's not a classic anecdotes, is it?
Right -- want another one?
Martin -- your customer.
I have to disturb you when you're cooking the books, but there's a delivery.
Martin, can't you just deal with this yourself?
But it's not for the shop. It's for you.
Excuse me -- it's your mother on the phone.
Can you tell her I'll ring her back.
I actually tried that tack -- but she said you said that before and it's been twenty-four hours, and her foot that was purple is now a sort of blackish color...
Max. This is Anna.
You haven't slept with her, have you?
That is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.
'No comment' means 'yes.'
No, it doesn't.
Do you ever masturbate?
Definitely no comment.
So I get the brownie?
You didn't know she had a boyfriend?
Bloody hell, I can't believe it -- my whole life ruined because I don't read 'Hello' magazine.
Let's face facts. This was always a no-go situation. Anna's a goddess and you know what happens to mortals who get involved with the gods.
Buggered?
Every time. But don't despair -- I think I have the solution to your problems.
Well?
I think you have forgotten... what an unusual situation you have here -- to find someone you actually love, who'll love you -- the chances are... always miniscule. Look at me -- not counting the American -- I've only loved two girls in my whole life, both total disasters.
That's not fair.
Wait a minute -- I'm your brother and I don't know anything about this.
Any more announcements?
Yes -- I feel I must apologize to everyone for my behavior for the last six months. I have, as you know, been slightly down in the mouth.
There's an understatement. There are dead people on better form.
So -- you've laid the ghost.
I believe I have.
Don't give a damn about the famous girl.
No, don't think I do.
Oh God no.
Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian.
Hello.
May I help you, sir?
Ahm, look this is a very odd situation. I'm a friend of Anna Scott's -- and she rang me at home the day before yesterday -- and left a message saying she's staying with you...
I'm sorry, we don't have anyone of that name here, sir.
Yes, sir. I have him in my mind.
No, sir.
How about Miss Flintstone?
No, sir.
No, sir.
Can I help you?
Yes -- I was looking for Anna Scott...
Does she know you're coming?
No, no. She doesn't.
I'm afraid I can't really let you through then, sir.
Oh right. I mean, I am a friend -- I'm not a lunatic but -- no, you basically...
Even he. Hey, you couldn't help me with an incredibly important decision, could you?
This is important in comparison to, let's say, whether they should cancel third world debt?
That's right -- I'm at last going out on a date with the great Janine and I just want to be sure I've picked the right t-shirt.
What are the choices?
Yes -- might make it hard to strike a really romantic note.
Cool, huh?
Yes -- she might think you don't have true love on your mind.
Well, yes, that's perfect. Well done.
Thanks. Great. Wish me luck.
There's something wrong with this yogurt.
It's not yogurt -- it's mayonnaise.
Imagine -- somewhere in the world there's a man who's allowed to kiss her.
Hey.
Just incidentally -- why are you wearing that?
Ahm -- combination of factors really. No clean clothes...
There never will be, you know, unless you actually clean your clothes.
There's something wrong with the goggles though...
No, they were prescription, so I could see all the fishes properly.
Groovy. You should do more of this stuff.
So -- any messages?
Yeh, I wrote a couple down.
Two? That's it?
Who were the ones you didn't write down from?
Ahm let's see -- ahm. No. Gone completely. Oh no, wait. There was -- one from your mum: she said don't forget lunch and her leg's hurting again.
Right. No one else?
What did she say?
Well, it was genuinely bizarre... she said, hi -- it's Anna -- and then she said, call me at the Ritz -- and then gave herself a completely different name.
Which was?
Try 'Flintstone.'
What?
I think she said her name was 'Flintstone.'
Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. Have you seen my glasses?
No, 'fraid not.
Bollocks. This happens every time I go to the cinema. Average day, my glasses are everywhere -- everywhere I look, glasses. But the moment I need them they disappear. It's one of life's real cruelties.
That's compared to, like, earthquakes in the Far East or testicular cancer?
Thanks for your help on the glasses thing.
You're welcome. Did you find them?
Well, okay. There's this girl...
Aha! I'd been getting a female vibe. Good. Speak on, dear friend.
I don't mention that Anna's a vegetarian, did I?
Oh my God... Hello.
Spike.
I don't want to interfere, or anything ... but she's split up from her boy- friend, that's right isn't it?
Maybe.
And she's in your house.
Yes.
And you get on very well.
Yes.
Well, isn't this perhaps a good opportunity to... slip her one?
Spike. For God's sake -- she's in trouble -- get a grip.
Right. Right. You think it's the wrong moment. Fair enough. Do you mind if I have a go?
Spike!
No -- you're right.
I'll talk to you in the morning.
I wouldn't go outside.
Why not?
I went out in my goddamn underwear too.
What he's going to say next is -- there are people starving in the Sudan.
Was it you?
I suppose I might have told one or two people down the pub.
What's going on?
I'm going to throw out these old videos.
No. You can't bin these. They're classics. I'm not allowing this.
Right -- let's talk about rent...
Which floor?
Are you sure you...?
Yes.
No -- they're... for my grandmother. She's in a hospital nearby. Thought I'd kill two birds with one stone.
Do you mind me not saying -- it's a rather distressing disease and the name of the hospital rather gives it away.
How was she?
Fabulous.
Excuse me.
Yes.
Bad news.
What?
We've got a security camera in this bit of the shop.
So?
So, I saw you put that book down your trousers.
What book?
The one down your trousers.
I haven't got a book down my trousers.
Right -- well, then we have something of an impasse. I tell you what -- I'll call the police -- and, what can I say? -- If I'm wrong about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, I really apologize.
Okay -- what if I did have a book down my trousers?
At the close of Friday's meeting, we were discussing Mister Harding's problem, concerning his wife... Mister Harding stated that his wife made him uneasy because she drew stares from men on the street. Is that correct, Mister Harding?
Yes, that's perfectly correct.
Am I to take it that there isn't a man among you who has an opinion concerning this matter? Mister Harding, you've stated on more than one occasion that you suspected your wife of seeing other men.
Yes, Miss Ratched, this is correct.
But you have no proof.
No, Miss Ratched...
And yet you suspect her.
Yes, that is correct.
Why?
I can only speculate as to the reasons why.
No secrets, Mister Harding. Let's get it all out in the open...
Yes, Mister Harding?
Yes, Mister Harding?
Is it true McMurphy killed two attendants and escaped yesterday?
M-m-m-ma'am?
Would you like to start?
N-n-n-n-n-no, ma'am.
Yes, Billy?
Was it your idea to visit her on Sunday?
Y-y-y-yes...
Tell us about it...
What was it about her that disturbed you so, Billy?
I was in luh-love with her.
You mean you don't want their votes to count, Billy!
P-p-p-please du-du-du-don't t-t tell her, p-p-please...
You should have thought about that before you brought that woman in here!
N-n-n-n-no, no, I du-du-du-didn't, I didn't!
I don't want your mother to believe something like this but what am I to think?
Sh-sh-sh-she m-m-made m-m-me do it!
Billy, that girl couldn't have pulled you in there forcibly...
Sh-sh-she did! Everybody did!
Who? Tell me!
Get up, Billy.
N-n-n-n-duh-duh-duh-pl-pl-pl-pl-muh muh-muh...
Easy now, don't smudge 'em, we got lots of games ahead of us...
Yes, ma'am...
Will you come with me, please.
My name is Miss Ratched. I'm the head nurse here. You've already met Miss Pilbow and Aides Washington and Warren.
We do appreciate the way you have taken it upon yourself to meet the other patients.
This is your bed. You may leave your things in that cabinet.
Yes, ma'am...
Please use your time to familiarize yourself with your new home and if there is anything you need to know, don't hesitate to ask us.
Now that you mention it, I sure would like to call my aunt up in Portland and tell 'er where I am so she can come visit me.
All in good time, Mister McMurphy. All in good time.
Yes, ma'am.
Is there anything else?
Just that I'm glad to be here, Miss Ratched. I really am.
Yeah, you ain't half so bad looking for a head nurse.
Yes. Now go along, Mister McMurphy. Go along.
Mister McMurphy, this ward is a democratic community run by the patients and their votes, so you should feel at ease in your new surroundings to the extent you can freely discuss emotional problems in front of the patients and staff. However, the cardinal rule, and I must emphasize this: Everyone keeps their seat during the meeting!
Yeah, well, it just pains me somethin' awful to see a full growed man sloshing around in his own water...
Mister McMurphy. Patients aren't allowed in here.
Pardon me, ma'am, can I ask you somethin'?
Yes, Mister McMurphy?
How 'bout turning off that music for a while so a man can hear himself think?
Well, say, how 'bout easin' it down a bit so a man don't have to shout!
Sorry to have bothered you.
That's all right, Miss Pilbow, if Mister McMurphy does not wish to take his medication orally, he may...
Mister McMurphy, patients are not permitted to run around in towels.
I wanna report a robbery!
On this ward?
Yeah, some creep stole my cigarettes!
Oh, I had them removed.
What for?
Now you boys hurry along and wash up for breakfast... You too, Mister McMurphy.
Well, say. How 'bout springing a pack of cigarettes loose?
After breakfast, Mister McMurphy, after breakfast.
You sure run a tight-assed ship 'round here, don't ya!
Yes, Mister McMurphy.
Right... I've been givin' some serious consideration to what you told me about the democratic something of this therapeutic community of ours, an' I got a few things I wanna get off my chest, before we get back to Harding's problem.
Certainly, Mister McMurphy.
I'm not finished yet.
Go on...
'Kay, item two. Tomorrow, and listen carefully to me, you ding-a lings. Tomorrow is the opening game of the World Series an' what I want is to take a vote on switchin' the group meetin' to later on in the day, so we can watch the ballgame.
Just a minute, Mister McMurphy!
Yeah?
Please understand, the schedule has been set up for a delicately balanced reason that would be thrown into turmoil by a switch of routines.
Yes. Now was there anything else you wanted to discuss, Mister McMurphy?
That was the first time you attempted to commit suicide, wasn't it? You must try to talk about it, Billy.
Jesus Christ, the man doesn't want to talk, so get off his back an' let's get on to some new business.
Mister McMurphy, the purpose of this meeting is therapy. Group therapy.
Yeah, yeah, the hell with that crap! The World Series is goin' on right' now an' that's therapy also!
Let me pose a question to the group: do any of you feel that Mister McMurphy is perhaps imposing his personal desires on you too much?
Yeah, it'll satisfy me.
Very well. What is it you're proposing, Mister McMurphy?
I'm proposing a re-vote on watchin' the ballgame!
A vote is before the group.
Okay, I wanna see the hands. I wanna see which of you birds has any guts.
That's it! We made it!
I'm sorry, Mister McMurphy, I count only eight.
So do I!
But there are eighteen patients on the ward, Mister McMurphy.
You mean to tell me you're gonna count those old birds over there?
I'm sorry, Mister McMurphy, but you must have a majority to change ward policy.
Mister McMurphy, you are deliberately violating the rules!...
You men remain seated!
Yeah, ya should've come along with us, Miss Ratched, an' gotten a little sun on your cheeks and maybe caught a fish or two.
Mr. McMurphy, you had no right to take these men out with you!
Yeah, that's kind of crazy, ain't it!
Mister McMurphy.
Yes, ma'am?
Welcome back.
Thank you, ma'am.
I hope everything is settled.
Good. Why don't you join us?
Miss Ratched, would you please save a space for my aunt? She's comin' down from Portland.
Certainly, Mister McMurphy, with pleasure.
Gotta go now, ma'am...
Yes. Good luck, Mister McMurphy.
Yes, Miss Ratched?
Mister Washington, why don't we get a good head start on the day by shaving Mister Bromden and see if we can't avoid a disturbance.
Yes, Miss Ratched?
Please see to Mister Bromden.
Put him in Doctor Spivey's office!
Whatcha boys playin'?
H-H-Hearts.
What's your name, buddy?
B-B-Billy.
What I wanna know is who's the top loony around here?
Y-Y-You m-mean th-the pr-president of the P-P-Patients C-Council?
Yeah, that'll do for openers!
Y-y-yes! Yes! Y-y-y-you s-s-saw wh wh-what she c-c-can do to us!
Break it up, God dammit! Ain't I got enough troubles without you guys messin' around... can't depend on nobody.
M-M-Mack, y-y-y-you c-c-can't l-l lift that thing!
That's okay, kid...
Th-th-then y-y-you're n-n-not m-m mad?
No, kid, it was my own stupidity, that's what pissed me off.
O-o-o-oh...
What we're gonna have to do is pull this ballclub together for our next play. 'Kay!
Hey, Billy. Billy boy, wake up and say goodbye to your ol' buddy.
W-w-w-what is it, M-M-Mac?
So long, kid.
Wh-wh-wh-wh...
So long suckers.
Come on, don't crap out on me now. We got two buddies out there!
I-I d-d-don't know! M-M-Miss R Ratched g-g-g-g...
A bus?
Y-y-yes, a b-b-bus!
I-I-I'm w-w-wet...
Your horses are hungry, That's what she did say, Come sit down beside me, An' feed them some hay. My horses ain't hungry, They wontt eat your hay-ay-aeee...
H-Hey, M-Mack.
Yeah, kid?
'K-Kay, M-Mack!
H-H-Help!
What is it, kid?
H-h-how's it g-g-going, Mack?
W-W-We h-heard y-you w-were n-never c-c-coming back!
I-I-I-I-I'll g-g-g-go, M-M-Mack...
Whatsamatter, kid, what's botherin' you...?
Ah-ah-ah-are y-y-y-you g-g-g-going t-t-t-to muh-muh-muh-marry her?
Marry who?
C-C-C-C-Candy!
Candy? Hell no, Billy, she's just a good friend, that's all...
In ya go...
M-M-M-Mack?
Ahhh, Billy...
Say it again.
Say... God Bless America!
God Bless America.
Goddammit, you sly son-of-a-bitch! Does anybody else know?
No.
Shit! This is too much! Chief, I tell you we're gonna bust outta this place an' make it all the way to Canada before they know what bit 'em.
Ca-na-da...
Ya like that, Chief, huh?
Yeah...
Yeah, well, well, well. 'Bout time the rest of the world got a gander at Big Chief Bromden cuttin' down the boulevard, stopping just long enough for virgins... Oh, man, I tell you, I tell you, you'll have women trippin' you and beating you to the floor...
Ca-na-da...
Sock it to 'em, kid!
Pssst! Hey Rose! There they are!
In there.
Wait a minute...
It's okay, Rose. You can go with him.
Oh yeah! Well if ya don't mind, I'll decide on my own date!
Shit, Rose! What's there to decide? There's only four of us.
Go with him, Rose. Go with him.
What for?
She won't give me any more cigarettes!
That okay. I'll take your marker. How many ya want?
I second the motion!
Let's go, for Christsakes...
Ha! Did ya see that! Hey, Cheswick!
Yeah, Mack?
Yeah, Mack?
Let me get on your shoulders.
Hey, Cheswick! Wake up!
Yeah, Mack, what is it?
I'm leaving. Goodbye!
Where ya goin', Mac?
How ya gettin' out, Mac?
Where's Martini and Scanlon?
They went that way.
Charlie, ya can't ever let those goons outta ya sight! Understand!
They must be up there!
There they are!
Yeah, where we going?
When do you think we'll be going back, Mack?
It's the questions she asks.
Which gets you shipped up to Disturbed for a nice little zap job.
What? What?
So long, Freddy. Don't take any wooden nickles.
What?
Mine, too!
He's a big flounder. Could weigh two, three hundred. You got to lift him in with a winch.
Does that mean we have to cut him loose?
Yeah, Harding, where do you breathe anyway?
I'll bet a dollar.
Neither do I...
Yeah, my feet are cold...
Christ, they even got my first grade report card here...
Ya know what, Fred?
Martini!
What are you doing?
Well, say, buddy, is that the usual pro-cedure for those Group Ther'py shindigs? Bunch of chickens at a peckin' party?
A pecking party?
It's as simple as that. You've been on our ward six hours and have already simplified the work of Freud, Jung and Maxwell Jones in one grand analogy: it's a pecking party.
I'm not talking about Fred Yoong or Maxwell Jones, buddy, what I'm talkin' about is that crummy meeting and what that nurse did to you!
Did to me?
Miss Ratched is a competent psychiatric nurse, not some, some kind of monster pecking out our eyes!
Electro-Shock Therapy, my friend. Five cents' worth of electricity and you are out of everybody's hair.
Tell 'er to go to hell anyway!
And if you persist in your ways, they can always ship you over to Medical Surgery.
What for?
Lobotomy!
Lobotomy?
Is that your sense of humor or are you tryin' to say somethin'?
You boys seem to think you've got a champ in there, huh?
I don't see you scoring any points, buddy. And you're just the man for the job, right?
Hell, I couldn't get it up over old hatchet-face if ya paid me!
What's the use! Hooee! It'd do you birds some good just to get a little exercise lifting your arms to vote!
A baseball game isn't worth the risk, my friend.
And how do you propose to accomplish that little feat, my friend?
With this thing! I'm gonna put this thing right through the window, that's how!
You mean you're going to try to pick that thing up and shove it through the window?
You're fuckin' A-right, I am!
With your own two hands?
Twenty-five dollars.
Okay, Harding, you're on.
Okay, sucker.
Giving up?
He can't hear you!
I know, goddammit! You don't have ta tell me that!
So why are you talking to him?
I'm not talkin' to him! I'm talkin' to myself! It helps me think!
It doesn't help him.
Ya owe me twenty-five bucks.
What for?
I'm busting outta this place.
What's your plan, Mack?
Ya deaf! I said pass the ball!
What are you talking about??? Everybody was covered!!! Everybody was covered!!!
Time in! Hold it! Time out! I said Harding out!
I refuse!
I said out!
No!
I'm the coach!
I just started!
You can come back later!
I don't trust you!
Hey, Harding, wake me in an hour.
Don't you have any clubs?
No!
Let me see your hand!
No!
Gimme a cigarette!
No!
Why not?
Miss Ratched. Given all the conditions of that sublime relationship, coupled with the subsequent annihilation of all that I held to be sacred, mentally, physically and emotionally, the only thing that I can speculate on, at this late date, is how I will justify the very existence of my life, with or without my dear wife.
Big king, too bad...
Just wait till you hear...
Hear what?
McMurphy killed two attendants and escaped...
When?
Yesterday...
Who told you that?
Yeah, buddy?
Can you borrow me a dime?
'Kay, place your bets.
What's this?
Bet a nickel!
Big king... little deuce... another king... a lovely lady... big ten... and a trey... hey, hey, whadaya say? Ya hit or sit, Martini?
Hit me.
Hit me!
Yeah, an' I'm tellin' ya, she's just an icy-hearted over-the-hump gal who never got enough of the old wham-bam to straighten 'er out... Okay, who wants a card?
You need four houses on every lot of the same color, Martini. Now let's go, for Christsakes.
Right!
Psst! Hey, Martini, wake up!
Yeah, Mac?
Shhh. Wait a minute. You guys are gonna screw up my plans. So just gone on back to bed like nothin' happened.
Whadaya doin', there's no one there!
Gimme the ball!
Gimme the ball!
I saw thum! I saw thum!
I wanna see it...
I wanna go home!
Yeah, it's cold!
My turn.
Jesus God...
Gary Blinker's fulla shit!
He's not!
Man, there sure is an awful lot of poontang around here.
Oh, what's that?
Why, I'll betcha there must be a million albacore and tuna running of the coast right this minute.
Is that so?
Yup! Worked right outta Depoe Bay for just about every season since I was able to haul my own weight.
My, my... Ah, who are you?
Hell, Doc, I've been everything from a hoopla man with a two-bit carny show to a top mechanic and bull goose catskinner for every gypo loggin' operation in the Northwest till the Army taught me what my natural bent was.
Oh, what was that?
Poker!
I see.
Yeah, but you know how society persecutes a dedicated man.
In what way?
They say I'm a habitual hassler. Like I fight some. Sheeut. They didn't mind so much when I was a dumb logger and got into a hassle. That's a hardworkin' feller blowing off steam, they say. But if you're a gambler, all you have to do is spit slantwise and you're a goddamned criminal.
I see...
To tell the truth, ever since I found my natural callin' I done time in so many small-time jails I could write a brochure...
Yes... Ah, do you know why you're here?
Well, ya know, Doc... Doesn't it say so there?
Well, according to the Warden at Pendleton, you were a disturbing influence on others. 'It appears that there is a potential in him for instigating a revolt among the other inmates.' What do you think of that report?
I don't, Doc...
Arrested on an assault charge five times...
That's correct, Doc ...
The doctor at the prison states: 'Don't overlook the possibility that this man may be faking psychosis to escape the drudgery of the work farm...' What do you say to that?
Doc, what can I tell ya?
Ah, it seems you have no other psychiatric history, Mister Murphy?
No, this is my first trip, Doc.
Well, you're here for a ninety-day observation period, Mister McMurphy. I'd like you to understand you are here on a court order and we are responsible to the state. So, I'd like your cooperation!
You bet, Doc!
Well, I was turnin' this dilemma over in my head, when I happened to hit on that old tub room out there, an' I said to myself, McMurphy, I said, that place would make a great second day room. A sort of game room for the young fellas. Whadaya think, Doc?
How are you feeling?
Just fine, Doc... In fact, I think I might've put on a couple of pounds since I got here.
Good, good, and how are you getting along on the ward?
Come on, Doc, you know as well as I do what's been comin' down in that loony bin.
Yes, well, Miss Ratched feels that you're a disturbing influence on the other patients.
Shoot, Doc, the only one I'm disturbing is that old nurse and her fixed ways. That's all.
Come on, Doc, you must be kiddin'.
I'm afraid not.
Jesus, that old nurse sure wants my ass in a sling, don't she!
No, Mister McMurphy, it's just that we cannot offer you the guidance and assistance that you would receive at Pendleton.
Guidance and assistance! That's insane! Doc, ya gotta help me.
I'm sorry, but I can't keep you here.
When?
Candy. Candy, over here. Hey, Doc, time out.
Time out!
Time out!
Pardon me miss, but would you mind turning...
Stay back! Patients aren't allowed to enter the... Oh, stay back!
Your medicine, Mister McMurphy.
What's the horse pill for, honey?
It's just medication, Mister McMurphy, good for you. Now down it goes...
Look, miss, I don't like swallowing something without knowing what it is!
Don't get upset, Mister McMurphy...
Shhh. Hold it down! I'll take you guys down, but ya gotta come right back up! 'Kay?
'Kay, Mac!
Shhh... Remember this is a privilege, so I don't want none of you goons fuckin' up. Kay?
'Kay, Mac!
'Kay, let's see... Cheswick first ... then Billy... Martini... Scanlon... Sefelt... Fredrickson... Taber an' the Chief... 'Kay
'Kay!
Yeah, buddy?
Are you a doctor?
What's troubling ya, buddy?
I want you to write me a letter to my brother for a hundred dollars to bury me.
You look pretty healthy to me.
I'm the next one.
How do ya know that?
Because I quit breathing.
You think it's funny, huh?
Put your money where your mouth is, Taber.
You want me to show ya! You want me to show ya how!
Yeah, yeah, show me. Show me how!
I'll bet a buck you don't do it!
Up an' at 'em, Taber.
What's going on?
Bullshit. You ain't got no way out!
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!
How much ya wanna bet?
Ten bucks.
Out. It's the way out. So just keep it in your minds if ya ever wanna make use of it.
Somebody's coming!
Yeah, take us back to the dumbwaiter, Mac.
Yeah, we'll miss breakfast!
Got a cigarette?
Hey, how's it look up there, big boy?
He can't hear you. He's just a deaf and dumb Indian!
You just come on with that three fifty and Martini will take care of himself... Your dice, Scanlon.
A dime.
Scanlon! Hey, Scanlon, wake up!
Yeah, what's up?
No!
What you boys doin' up at this ungodly time o' the night?
Prayin', brother. Prayin'.
Well, you boys finish it up an' climb back into your beds. 'Kay?
I thought I told you boys to go to bed!
Oh yeah...
I tell ya, there's an angel of mercy standing out there, Turkle.
Hallelujah, brother, now get back in bed!
That angel of mercy, he ain't a she, is he?
Ah believe ya, brother. Ah believe ya!
Now, wouldn't you pray for twenty bucks, a bottle booze an' a piece of that angel cake?
I'll be very glad to show you around, Miss...
Hey, how ya doin', cutie?
Okay. How you doing?
Hey, how ya doin'?
Fine, thank you. Here, please take these.
What are they?
Please follow me.
You know, I never got your name.
Miss Itsu. In here, please.
You comin' in to hold my hand?
No...
Okay, Mack! Whoowe, Candy girl, are we in an insane asylum or ain't we?
He's a patient, Rose...
Oh, yeah...
Yeah...
Hi ya, big boy? How's it goin'? Like it in here?
Who is he?
He's in charge.
Sure, I know Chuck. I know him.
Sure, she understands what you mean. She's not dumb. Why do you think Rose came to visit us? Rose is very interested in hospitals and hospital facilities. Aren't you, Rose?
Hi.
That kind of behavior will get you a P.A. rating, my friend.
P.A. What the hell is that?
Hit me!
Hit, you say? Well well well and with a king up, the boy wants a hit. Whadaya know. So comin' at you and too bad, a little lady for the lad and he's over the wall and down the road, up the hill and dropped his load.
Yeah!
Big man!
Yeah, how much you wanna bet?
On what?
Maybe I'll just use that thick skull of yours as a batterin' ram, Sefelt.
Yes, I see it! I see it!
There they are!
I thought I might donate it to the mess hall.
Yes, sir, it's a mighty nice fall day...
This way, Mister McMurphy.
Yes, sir, I sure am gonna enjoy my stay here.
I'm sure you will.
Ya know, I ain't never been in an institution of psychology before.
Of course. Mister McMurphy.
After you, ma'am.
Make yourself at home, Mister McMurphy...
Stand aside, Sam, Nature's callin'.
Don't know if I can hold it that long, Sam.
Tha's your problem.
Who do you like in the opening game, Sam?
Huh?
Hey, Sam, bet ya two bucks ya lose.
Shit, man, tha' ain't even worth considerin'.
How 'bout twenty?
Now you talkin'.
Bet!
Bet you ass...
What kind of crap is that???
Ya fuckin' coon, you're not on the ward now!
We got your black ass now, Washington, wanna bet another twenty?
Hey, Billy, stop cryin'. You don't have to cry... You ain't got nothin' to be ashamed of. She ain't gonna tell you mother... stop crying...
Oh, there you are, Mister Turkle.
Evenin', ma'am.
Is everything all right?
Why, sure, ma'am...
The lights were flashing on and off, Mister Turkle.
Jus' cleanin' up, ma'am.
At this hour?
What are these men doing up wandering around?
Ah guess the natives are restless, ma'am...
You've been drinking on the job again, haven't you, Mister Turkle!
I want those men put back to bed, Mister Turkle!
Yes, ma'am...
And you haven't heard the last of this!
Whew! Hiya, boys!
What happened?
What's that?
What?
That!
Oh, that. That ain't nothin' to be afraid of, ma'am. Just ol Chief Bromden. That's all...
They're sleeping, Miss. They're sleeping. An' we gotta keep it down so we don't disturb their sleep.
Are they dangerous when they're awake?
Smells like piss. Is this real, Candy? Is this really real? I mean we are in an insane asylum, an' I wanna know how we got ourselves into this scene.
Not exactly, Miss. Not exactly.
Well, Miss... I would say... I would say, yes. Yes, he's crazy.
I thought so.
Is he in an asylum?
He's dead.
Oh, I see. He was a very sick man. Very sick.
That's what I told his mother. And she said I was crazy. Her son ate the whole fucking light bulb and she said I was crazy.
I don't know anything about that, Miss. I would have to examine you first...
You ol' fucker!
Now, Miss. What do you want with twenty zombies when you got a twenty gun salute looking you right in the face.
Oh, yeah...
You better believe it, you sweet little thing. You better believe it...
Don't you sweet talk me you ol' spook, you!
He is your husband, no?
Yes, but... He was having an affair.
She was your sister.
No, she wasn't my sister.
Your mother.
Of course not.
Your grandmother?
May I see your boarding pass, please?
I-- I must've misplaced it.
Great. Because, like I said, until you find it, we can't let you on the plane.
You don't understand. The man I'm supposed to marry is on that plane.
You didn't have that with you before. Prima non l'aveva con se.
You ask what room he's in, okay?
Excuse me?
Mr. Bradley left about a half hour ago. He said his plans had changed unexpectedly. Would you prefer an interior or exterior room?
He couldn't have checked out-- I was supposed to meet him here.
Nobody here has any idea which way he went?
No... it's just very important that I find him, okay?
Why?
He said he thinks a woman he works with knows him. Her name's Anna. But she won't be in 'til tomorrow.
So, what's the story with your friend?
My friend has lost her fucking mind...
She's trying to find out where she can rent a loudspeaker.
What for?
No, really. What's she doing?
Really. She thinks he's here. Even though she's never met him. Even though she's never laid eyes on him.
Were they pen pals?
No.
Is he some kind of celebrity or something?
No.
There's this poem by Rilke, I don't remember the whole thing, but it's about that. About waiting for that person, and wondering if you'll ever find them. And the last line of it goes, "Who knows? Perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us, yesterday--
--separate, in the evening..."
My hair's kind of a mess, isn't it?
But... just to be sure, maybe we ought to shatter each other's unrealistic images of perfection. You know, each of us admit something embarrassing about ourselves.
What?...
Oh, right. Dwayne. You're engaged to Dwayne?
It just happened. I didn't plan it. I was alone. And he was... there. But now everything's changed. I owe it to him to let him know. I need to tell him.
You're sure...
Good.