{"prompt":"Long story short, I moved in with my girlfriend back in July. Since then, my girlfriend has slowly been limiting my contact with certain friends (mainly girls). Some of these people are just acquaintances, but a few of them are incredibly close friends. \n\nRecently I tried to get in contact with one of my female friends, let's call her June. June's brother is in a rehab program, and I wanted to see how he was doing. While trying to get up with her, I discovered that June had been blocked on my facebook account. Not only that, but her number had been deleted from my phone.\n\nA little more investigating showed that not only was June removed from everything, but about a dozen other people (that I know of) were completely gone from my cell phone and all social media. \n\nFrankly I was overcome with rage at the fact that she would try to be so controlling. I think this might be the last straw, and I'm seriously considering ending the relationship. I don't want to do anything drastic just because I'm angry, though. I'd like to keep a cool head.\n\nWhat do you think I should do in this situation?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My girlfriend went behind my back to try and control who I'm friends with. Should I break it off or give her another chance?","rejected":" My [24 M] girlfriend's [21 F] jealousy is getting out of hand."} {"prompt":"So Im 20 yrs old and have been with my boyfriend for three years now. \n\nHe was my first, and I've never had sex with anyone but him. We enjoy a very active sex life with each other and are in love. In bed recently, dirty talk has consisted of him watching me get it for the first time from other men, and then refined to just this particular guy friend of mine.\n\nIts hot, but today he told me he actually would not only be okay withit but would WANT me to actually sleep with this guy... and i have plans to see him this coming weekend.\n\nWhat do i do? He says he would never expect me to be okay with him doing the same unless it was a threesome, that this would only be a one time thing, and that its only okay bc he knows about it. Also so if we were to get married he doesnt want me to regret never being with anyone else.\n\nHe says for him, he thinks I'm really hot wants me to record my friend and I so he can watch someone go crazy over my body and enjoy that part of me that no one else gets to. He watches porn often and says he wants me to make a video just for him.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" BF of 3 yrs says he would be okay with me having sex with a male friend of mine, and that he would want a video of that. Not sure what to do or think about this.","rejected":" boyfriend willing to have sex with another man behind my back, wants me to make a video for him of said man 'going crazy over me'. what to do?"} {"prompt":"Okay, so I feel so bad about this. \nIn November me and my SO will celebrate our 1 year anniversary, and of course we said that we'll gift one another \"nothing\" and of course we both knew it's a lie.\n\nSo, I just discovered what her \"nothing\" is, and this is why I feel bad. She know's i like computers and when I first built my PC I didn't buy any graphics card, and I of course did tell her that (several times..anytime we (mostly me) talked about computers..I'm an idiot) and now she wants to buy me a new graphics card. The thing is I'm an university student and the last time I played video games was like 2 months ago, and I have little to no time to go to the beach and enjoy while it still lasts, not to mention playing on PC. \n\nSo all this wouldn't be a problem if I didn't discovered it, but the thing is expensive and I'd rather go in some city in Europe we didn't visit. Since it's expensive she's asked help from two of my friends (both students; but one too kind to refuse to help) and my parents (they have their financial problems of their own). Knowing her, even if no one would help her, she's going to buy it just to make me happy, but I don't need it right now and as I said earlier there are so many other things that I'd spend money on. \n\nWhat I did is to tell her that I want to take her somewhere South (in Europe) and, subtly, told her that any dime will matter and that I wouldn't want her to spend money on something materialistic, but rather invest it in our trip. She agreed, but! she also said that she put heart in choosing her \"nothing\" and that she's willing in doing both. I also sought the help of a friend (one she contacted and said he's broke) and told him to call her and subtly tell her that it'll be better to go somewhere to spend time together. \n\nPlease, help me understand why won't she give up and maybe how to convince her to chose something else.\n\nThank you!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Found out SO's \"nothing\" is a new graphic card, and she wants to make me happy by buying it for me. Need help convincing her to choose something else.","rejected":" My SO [20F] will buy me a [20] graphics card for our anniversary, since she knows i'm a university student."} {"prompt":"Hello all, thanks in advance for any advice you may have.\n\nLet me preface this by letting you know that I am currently working an hourly security position for a state College in Nebraska. We are part time (30hrs\/week), hand in our timestamps every Monday and are paid bi-weekly.\n\nChristmas break for employees at the college I work for was from 12-23-2014 to 1-5-2015. However, the Department I work in (Security) does not get any of this time off and I ended up working my regular hours and I filled out my time-stamp and turned it in on time. On Monday the 5th of January 2015 (when college employees returned), my manager turned in all of the timestamps from our department, and found out that the people in charge of payroll decided that they didn't have time to process all 6 of them and told us that we would have to wait until the 22nd of January to get paid. \n\nWhat exacerbates this is that before break my manager was informed that if all time-sheets were turned in on the first day back from break, that they would be processed and put on the payday for the 8th of January. \n\nSo, as a student already struggling to make ends meet and bills to pay, I'm sitting here getting half of what I should be getting payed on the 8th of January.\n\nI had a meeting with the lady who is charge of payroll, and over the course of the better part of an hour, all that I got from her was a \"Well, you guys are just going to have to wait until the 22nd, there's nothing I can do.\" \n\nWhat steps, if any, can I take here? I did everything right on my end, so I feel like there should be something that I can do. Thanks a ton!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My employer processed my time-sheets late because of their Christmas break. Now I'm not getting payed for the hours that I worked for two more weeks.","rejected":" My employer processed my time-sheets late because of their Christmas break. Now I'm not getting payed for the hours that I worked for two weeks. What can I do to remedy this?"} {"prompt":"I've been in a long distance relationship for the last 5 years. We live over 250 miles away from each other, and have done since the beginning, apart from a few years when I was at uni, I lived a lot closer to my SO.\n\nAfter uni I moved back to my home town, riddled with guilt that I barely saw my family in 3 years, because I spent almost every weekend at my partners (which I feel extremely guilty about). We have always been ok with the distance, there are obviously times when it's harder than others.\n\nWe're now seeing less and less of each other and I'm really starting to struggle, I'm lucky if I get a whole weekend with him every month. He works 6 days a week, so him staying with me is almost out of the question, and I can't afford any more than I already pay on travel.\n\nWe have discussed getting a place together, but the issue of where to live becomes an issue. I have looked at properties in his area, and for a start I wouldn't be able to afford rent, never mind the increased cost of living. \n\nI told him tonight that I don't think I could live far from my family. My parents are older than his, and I worry about them not having any family near them as they get older. He, on the other hand has an extremely large extended family, all of which live within a 5 mile radius.\n\nAm I being selfish for now wanting to move near them? When I told my SO how I felt, his response was \"well, we have a problem\". He did however say that he would move up to me, but he still has courses he needs to complete with work.\n\nHe told me that I'm acting like a child and didn't understand the issue of me moving away because I would still see my parents every fortnight. Surely if travelling weren't an issue I would see my SO more often than that?!\n\nI'm feeling so conflicted, and feel selfish for not wanting to leave my parents. I love my SO, and I want to be with him, but we have hit this major fork in the road and I don't know what to do.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Relationship of 5 years. I'm conflicted as to whether I should abandon my family again to live 250 miles away with my SO, and near his family.","rejected":" life is hard in long distance relationship, am I being selfish for wanting to move near my SO's family?"} {"prompt":"So I (F, 21) recently moved out of my apartment and got a new one living by myself. I still pay rent at the old apartment and put a lock on my door because without it my roommate would take over my room and that isn't fair since I pay 450 for an apartment that I do not live in... So anyways I pay rent do not pay for internet and electric (obviously since I do not use it) Heat and water is included. **Now I was wondering** when I go over to the apartment to make sure my door is still locked, if I see that it is not (roommate does not have a key obviously), could I call the cops on her for breaking and entering? We are both on the lease. I'm pretty sure you guys are gonna say no, you can't but I just want to make sure. My room at the apartment is completely empty so she couldn't steal anything I just think it is entirely unfair for me to pay rent at an apartment when nothing of it is mine. You know what I mean? So what can I do if my door has been unlocked?? I am in New York by the way.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I pay rent for an apartment that I do not live in, roommate has a key, can I call the cops on her for breaking and entering?","rejected":" I(F, 21) have roommate(F, 22) legal\/police questions."} {"prompt":"So, to give a little background to the story, my ex and I broke up this past July after getting together in May.. it was short, however, we fell very hard for each other. Our summer spent together was beautiful, we had an amazing time with one another. That is, until he decided it wasn't worth his time.\n\nAnyway, this post isn't about the break up. I met my ex up in Vermont at his school where my best friend goes to. We all share mutual friends, as I have become close with their friends up there. Everyone is going to this festival, which I'm very excited for, however, he is as well.\n\nI've been doing pretty alright for the most part since the break up. I meditated and severed the mental attachment I had to him (for the most part.) What I mean by that is meditating, imagining a clear connection to the person who you are attached to emotionally, and then severing it. All mental and meditation.. \n\nSo point being, thinking about him doesn't throw me into despair and panic attacks. However, finding out last night that I will be seeing him and quite possibly hanging out in the same group at our campsite might be really difficult..\n\nMy fear is losing my shit if he doesn't talk to me and losing my shit if he does indeed talk to me. I don't plan on staying sober that weekend which might make that even more possible.\n\nI'm not sure what I need to do to prepare myself. I need advice how to go about this entire situation if I do see him. Should I say hello? Be the bigger person? My mind screams no because he really hurt me and took the wrong way to break up the relationship.. but at the same time I really don't want to have a bad time and have others feel negative energy when we're all trying to hang out and have a good time..\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm going to a festival with my ex and I'm not sure how to deal with the situation if I see him.","rejected":" I'm going to a festival with my ex and I'm not sure how to deal with the situation if I should run into him and talk to him or avoid him and not deal with it."} {"prompt":"Her argument is that since we both started it we are both technically co-founders. To be a founder means that there was only one individual in the beginning. I feel like she really encouraged me to start it, but that I did most of the work in the beginning getting it going & she more so took on the role of getting people involved. She said she feels like me putting up that I founded the company completely takes away her role in it and she's very hurt. \n\nIs she overreacting? I didn't see it that way, but am I wrong to have done that?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My wife feels that my putting up on my resume that I founded my company takes away her role in the company and is very hurt. Is she right to be upset about it?","rejected":" I listed on my resume that I'm the founder of my company. She's upset because she feels like I took away her role in it."} {"prompt":"I have a very busy schedule this semester, so I've had 4 tests this past week, and another two tests in 4 days. \n\nI understand time management would have prevented this, but I felt overwhelmed and had a breakdown which wasted even more time.\n\nBack to the point: I got about 3 hours of sleep and about 2 hour naps everyday for 5 continuous days because of a very hectic schedule this week.\n\nShould I listen to my body and not set any alarms, and just sleep until I naturally wake up? Or should I get 8 hours of sleep and drink coffee if I find myself getting tired (in order to maintain a structured sleep schedule)? I slept for about 15 hours today, which I could have used to study but I could hardly keep my eyes open.\n\nAlso, are there any huge health risks from this one week (first time I've ever done this) that I should worry about?\n\nThanks reddit.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Had a breakdown due to time pressure and over-study, 4 tests in a short span and I'm not getting enough sleep. Need advice on how to recover and prepare for another one very soon.","rejected":" got 4 tests in a week, feel exhausted, and need advice on how to recover\/get 8 hours of sleep to study and maintain a very busy schedule."} {"prompt":"This is a really trivial problem compared to typical r\/relationships but I'd still like advice if anyone has it.\n\nMy dad sent an email to me and my two siblings (25F and 23M) this morning with a screenshot of what he ordered for our mom for Mother's Day. It's a huge, very expensive order of flowers\/chocolate\/assorted gifts with the prices included (obviously intentionally).\n\nAlong with the screenshot he added, \"I addressed the card to say it's from all of YOU, but don't let that change what YOU yourselves plan on doing for your mom next Sunday, if anything.\"\n\nI'm irritated and hurt. I don't understand why he feels the need to do this and rub it in our faces. It's fine to buy Mother's Day gifts for your wife when your kids are too little, but fuck, we're all in our twenties and I'm about to be a first time mother myself. And I've never disappointed my mom on Mother's Day.\n\nI resisted sending a biting response and just simply said, \"Don't worry, I already have her gift ready\" but I'm still steaming hours later. He never replied so I don't know if that was a satisfying enough answer or what.\n\nAlso it seems like it's going to be pretty awkward when I visit for Mother's Day and all of these gifts get delivered, she reads the tag and thinks it's from us kids. Then my mom will be thanking us, thinking we got together and ordered this expensive stuff for her that none of us can afford.\n\nJust ugh. What is wrong with my dad and how can I let him know this isn't okay? Should I tell my mom it's not from us or just drop it?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Dad sent email informing me he bought Mother's Day presents for all of us. It's petty and petty and I want him to stop. Any advice?","rejected":" Dad emailed me and my siblings Mother's Day gifts. Seems to be rubbing it in our faces and awkward as hell when we visit for Mother's Day. Wondering if I should say anything to him?"} {"prompt":"I just moved in to the perfect apartment, but my roommates are either fighting, not speaking to each other, doing passive aggressive things. The apartment is tiny, so it doesn't help that we are already cramped for space, but it's pretty uncomfortable to live like this. However, I've been moving around for months, so I am not really willing to leave (in case any of you were thinking that).\n\nTheir conflict precedes my tenancy so I definitely don't know the whole story, but from what I've gathered so far, they both have valid points. They have both been really friendly towards me, but they are pretty awful towards each other. I get that roommates don't have to be friends, but it would be nice if they could coexist peacefully instead of waiting for the other one to move out.\n\nReddit, what (if anything) should I do? I don't want to get involved in the conflict and make things worse, but I also don't want to live in such a passive aggressive, negative environment. I was thinking about asking a therapist to have a session with them to sort of mediate the conflict, but that's my only idea.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My roommates hate each other and I don't know what to do. I don't want to get involved in the conflict, but I also don't want to live in a passive aggressive, negative environment.","rejected":" Post-college roommate conflict involving 2 out of 3 roommates. What if anything should I (the third non-involved person) do to resolve it?"} {"prompt":"So my ex finished our relationship 2 months ago, we were together for three years. \n\nSo the \"issue\" is as follows: \n\nMy family plans a large exotic, expensive trip every summer and this year my family wanted her to join. (Paid by my family) She and I were excited to finally experience it together. Fast forward a few months and she broke up with me. The trip is still happening but she is not coming; my parents cancelled her room, obviously. \n\n I happened to be looking at out flight info today. She bought her flight on her own and it seem she has not cancelled her flight. Should I say something to her? or just let her deal with financial hit of not doing anything?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Exotic trip planned by my parents but my ex has not cancelled her flight. Should I tell her to cancel or let her deal with the financial hit of not doing anything?","rejected":" Exotic trip planned by my parents. She purchased her own flight and it seem she has not cancelled it. Should I say something to her? or just let her deal with financial hit of not doing anything?"} {"prompt":"Throw-away here. My ex-boyfriend and I bought a dog together when we were together. We broke up January of 2012 and I received custody of her. We adopted her when she was just 8 weeks old. I've been toying with the idea of putting her up for adoption since we broke up because I feel like I cannot care for her like I used to when I was living with me ex. I would let him have her, except for the fact that he is a sociopath and we did not exactly have a healthy relationship. \n\nI've been living on my own since July of 2012. I feel pretty disconnected towards her, and seem to be getting angry with her. I do not want to be angry with her, and I do NOT hit her (I want to make this very clear), but I find myself getting more and more irritated. She always sleeps on the bed with me, but for some reason especially over the course of this last weekend, I couldn't sleep with her at the end of the bed where she ALWAYS sleeps. I kept having to tell her to get down because I was uncomfortable with her being there and I couldn't sleep. \n\nIs there a way I can fix my relationship with my dog, or would she be happier with another person (maybe family) that can give her happy attention instead of being annoyed of her 80% of the time? I know I'll be sad when she is gone, but it would seem selfish of me to continue to care for her when I feel annoyed with her most of the time.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Been thinking about putting my dog up for adoption after break-up with sociopath ex boyfriend because I've been finding myself becoming irritated of her easily. Can I fix myself, or would she be happier somewhere else?","rejected":" Ex-boyfriend and I broke up and I want to put my dog up for adoption, but I am finding myself getting angry with her. How can I fix my relationship with her?"} {"prompt":"Throwaway. The title pretty much says it all, but the long goes like this:\n\nMy fiance started working for this company as an administrative assistant about a year and a half ago after the company she was working for was acquired by said company. Within the first month or so of her working there she noticed that there was standing water in the basement of the building that had to mopped\/vacuumed up about once a week. She spoke to her boss and he said he was aware of the issue, but they weren't doing anything at the time to fix the problem (mind you this is a building full of engineers and architects). \n\nFast forward about a year from then, my fiance is now the office manager and was cleaning some documents in basement near the water and found some blueprints with mold on them, she then notifies the president of the company and his response is along the lines of \"you shouldn't have to work in that environment where you could potentially get sick, don't work down there anymore. We will look into the issue.\" \n\nAnother month goes by and nothing is being done about the issue, so she takes things into her own hands. She gets the go ahead from her boss to schedule an inspection and get a mold test done. Apart from there being multiple building problems and what not, the mold test comes back positive for black mold. \n\nI should note that this is a building of about 200-300 people, with multiple pregnant women. Since she has started working there my fiance has developed asthma as well as other symptoms that consistent with black mold exposure. \n\nIs there any sort of lawsuit at hand?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Fiance's workplace has black mold and she has symptoms consistent with black mold exposure and we don't know what to do.","rejected":" My fiance's work was recently acquired by a bigger company and the mold was left untreated for about a year. Is there a lawsuit in the offing?"} {"prompt":"I don't want to go into too much detail, but enough that you guys can make out what my dilemma is.\n\nI met her online (certain app). We live in the same city, we talked for a while, found out we have a lot in common, and she's extremely nice. We only text chat, we almost know nothing about how the other looks, and at this point we don't really care. Here are some of the problems I'm facing now: \n**1.** She's 16. I'm 20. There's an obvious age gap, and I don't know if it's completely ethical to continue trying to get with her. \n**2.** She's moving to her home country in less than a month. I only just got to know her and she's already moving away. It seems like she's completely fine with continuing to talk to me while she's there, and I don't mind that. But... \n**3.** She told me we can't meet face to face. I really want to meet her before she leaves. She said it's hard to do so here + her parents might not like that. I didn't want to insist, even though I had ideas on how to meet up in secret. I still really want to see her.\n\nSorry if there isn't enough info, I kinda rushed through this. I'm looking for advice on what to do. Is the age difference a problem? If not, what's my best course of action right now?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I [20M] met a great girl [16F] online who lives in the same city. Problems are: she's moving away, I want to meet her, and the obvious age gap.","rejected":" Met girl online, she's significantly younger than me, I want to meet her before she leaves the country but she said it's not possible."} {"prompt":"This is a really trivial problem compared to typical r\/relationships but I'd still like advice if anyone has it.\n\nMy dad sent an email to me and my two siblings (25F and 23M) this morning with a screenshot of what he ordered for our mom for Mother's Day. It's a huge, very expensive order of flowers\/chocolate\/assorted gifts with the prices included (obviously intentionally).\n\nAlong with the screenshot he added, \"I addressed the card to say it's from all of YOU, but don't let that change what YOU yourselves plan on doing for your mom next Sunday, if anything.\"\n\nI'm irritated and hurt. I don't understand why he feels the need to do this and rub it in our faces. It's fine to buy Mother's Day gifts for your wife when your kids are too little, but fuck, we're all in our twenties and I'm about to be a first time mother myself. And I've never disappointed my mom on Mother's Day.\n\nI resisted sending a biting response and just simply said, \"Don't worry, I already have her gift ready\" but I'm still steaming hours later. He never replied so I don't know if that was a satisfying enough answer or what.\n\nAlso it seems like it's going to be pretty awkward when I visit for Mother's Day and all of these gifts get delivered, she reads the tag and thinks it's from us kids. Then my mom will be thanking us, thinking we got together and ordered this expensive stuff for her that none of us can afford.\n\nJust ugh. What is wrong with my dad and how can I let him know this isn't okay? Should I tell my mom it's not from us or just drop it?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Dad sent email informing me and my two younger siblings that he bought Mother's Day gifts for us. I'm hurt and don't know how to let him know this isn't okay.","rejected":" Dad emailed me and my siblings Mother's Day gift list. Seems like he's trying to rub it in our faces about how much he spent on our mom's Mother's Day gifts. What do I say\/do?"} {"prompt":"I just got engaged to my awesome boyfriend [24\/m] of 2 years. We met in my last semester of college and are so incredibly excited to be taking this step together. My mom is thrilled, his parents are awesome and super supportive, and our friends and family have been nothing but kind.\n\nThen there's my dad. He's always been the type of father who's incredibly loving and supportive as long as I am doing things he approves of or need him in someway (which, growing up, was basically all the time. I was a quiet kid.) He is great with my boyfriend to his face, but when it's just me and him alone he won't call him by his name, asks me why I hang out with him so much, and says that I'm sacrificing my career for my fianc\u00e9 and that I'm going to just become another baby-making heifer (his words). I've asked him to stop several times. I don't even know where this is coming from - I graduated from college two years ago and will start grad school this fall. \n\nTonight he did something that just tore me apart. My fianc\u00e9 is foreign (currently back home for the month) and I skyped him and his folks from my parents' house. My parents have never met or spoken to my fianc\u00e9's parents. When I told my mom to come say hello, she went to get my father and he just LEFT THE HOUSE. Didn't say a word. It was awkward to cover for him. Then, when he came back, I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone and overheard my mom asking him to apologize. He said she couldn't make him do anything and he LEFT AGAIN. He called my mom an hour ago to say he was staying at his mothers for the night (not unusual, he's her caretaker, but still). \n\nI don't know what to do or say or even what kind of advice I'm expecting. I'm just hurt and angry. I don't know. This really sucks. I'm fed up with his crap.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My dad is being a jerk about my engagement and it makes me really sad.","rejected":" my dad is being a huge jerk and I'm fed up with it and don't know what to do or say."} {"prompt":"So i just found out that my best friend wants to be romantically involved with me.\n\nThe big problem is that we are both dudes and i'm straight so i don't want to be in a relationship with him but has been my best bro for years and he really helped me through some tough times. \n\nWe had a talk about it and it turns out that he is, according to him, head over heels in love with me and he has assured me that he isn't confused or going through a phase and that his feelings are genuine.\n\nI told him that i was no longer comfortable being his best friend and he responded by telling me how he still wanted to hang out with me even through i didn't want to because he didn't want to lose me. However after that he told me something that worried me; apparently when we first met he hated me as he felt i was stealing his best friend (who is now my best friend) and he has had those types of feelings for all his previous best friends. It worries me because he appears to be very possessive towards his best friends and he wants to keep them all to himself.\n \nhe has also done a number of creepy things like asking a female friend of ours to let him sleep in her bed with her and cuddle. He has also joked about raping me a lot over the few years we were best friends and i always thought he playing up to the fact that everyone at our school called us gay or maybe he liked making uncomfortable jokes like that. \n\nThroughout most of our friendship he has wanted to sleep with me and this is a dude that i have shared bedrooms with and now i'm scared that he may have done something creepy while i was asleep. I can't trust him anymore. \n\nThis entire altercation has also split our very close group of friends apart and i need some unbiased opinions on what actions to take as i'm now having to try and convince my friends that i'm not homophobic or a liar. The worse part is that out of the five people in our friendship circle only one person doesn't know about it.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My best friend is in love with me and i don't want to be his best friend anymore. He has done some creepy things but i'm not sure what to do.","rejected":" My best friend may have been in love with me for a long time and wants to be in a relationship with me and i don't know what to do."} {"prompt":"The basics: 28 years old, I make $15\/hour, I have zero savings and I have approximately 10k in credit card debt. I make about $1,900\/month after taxes. I am currently looking for a job that pays more and also offers a 401K and insurance, because my current one does neither.\n\nI've recently moved into my parent's house in order to get a handle on this. \n\nI'm not paying rent, utilities or any other bills. My parents are generous to keep the kitchen stocked and we make dinner every night, so my food expenses are low. I essentially just need to buy gas, personal toiletries and the occasional food item. \n\nUsing unbury.us, I determined that if I put $1,500 toward my debt, I can pay it off by April 2016. I'm using the snowball method. My interest rates are 22.9% (this one will be paid off on August 5), 19.99%, 19.24% and 14.24%. \n\nThis will give me $400\/month to live on, which considering I have no expenses except my debt and buying gas, is fine for now. \n\nHowever....I'm wondering if it would be wiser to put less toward my debt and start putting something into savings? So take longer to pay off debt, but have be able to put something into a separate savings account that I won't be spending.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I have $400\/month to live on. I'm wondering if it's better to put that toward my debt and pay it off faster, or put that into savings and have a little bit of money for a rainy day.","rejected":" is it worth paying $100\/month more than I currently spend in order to pay of my $10,000 in credit card debt in under 2 years? "} {"prompt":"R\/books, hello!\n\nCan you all give me some good suggestions on fiction books that express the condition of being a guy or a man? \n\nNot books *for* men, there are plenty of lists I could go to Google for. I mean books that subtly and empathetically draw you into relating to the psyche of a man, seeing the world through a man's eyes and understanding the motivation for seeing the world and oneself this way.\n\nI want to understand the emotional repertoire and drive that lies behind 'respect', 'brotherhood', 'solidarity', 'fortitude' etc etc. Particularly, so much guy culture seems to be just that - about 'guys', a fixation on facile things with a slightly self-mocking tone.\n\n(I was brought up by my mum and inadvertently taught to find my masculinity a joke and to be ridiculed and repressed. I have long berated myself for my masculinity as 'stupid' and dangerous. I would like to change this. I have long gone to philosophy to address this but there is no feeling involved.)\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Any suggestions for truly great literature on what it *feels* like to be a man, to understand, not just books that are good for men.","rejected":" What books are good for understanding how to relate to men and men in general? How do you feel like a man?"} {"prompt":"My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and he doesn't like to sugar coat things. Ever. I admittedly can be really sensitive and hot headed but we usually manage to talk things out and find common ground. \n\nHowever - and I know this may seem like a really small thing, but it really hurt my feelings - yesterday as I was cooking us dinner he said something really hurtful. Let me give you some context:\n\nWe both **love** steak. I love to cook and I make a pretty bad ass steak, which he loves also. I wanted to try something new, something called a gizo which involves putting steak in a food processor\/blender with a tomato sofrito. \n\nHe comes into the kitchen just after I sear the steak and sees me about to put it in my blender. **\"You're gonna put that in a blender? What a waste of steak.\"** \n\nI gave him a *wtf* face and told him what he said was uncalled for. \n\nHe thinks I'm overreacting. But it hurt my feelings. Am I wrong?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My boyfriend said something really hurtful yesterday about me cooking steak in a food processor\/blender. I told him it hurt my feelings and he thinks I'm overreacting. Am I wrong?","rejected":" boyfriend said something inappropriate to me about something I was trying to do with steak. I told him off. He thinks I'm overreacting."} {"prompt":"I live abroad and am dating a girl from the country I live in. I've been here for 3 years and we've been dating for 1. \n\nWe had an argument today about New Year's Eve, I know it's a long way away but we like to plan our travels in advance. I want to go home and spend it with my friends and family, I'll be home for Christmas which is great, but I don't get to go home very often (I spend about 9 - 10 months a year abroad) and I miss them a lot. She has a big problem with this because in her culture NYE is a very important holiday (more like Christmas) and she really want me to come back for it. \n\nHere's where I feel I'm being selfish: I'll be home for about 7 weeks this summer and she plans to visit me twice, it's going to be great and we have loads of stuff planned. She's spending a fair amount of money to come and see me (she also has to get a visa to enter my country). I live about 1,000 miles from home so it's not MEGA far or expensive. Because she's visiting me twice and I don't want to be back for New Years it makes me feel like I'm being a bit selfish in the relationship. \n\nSo she feels I don't care about her as much because I'd rather be at home for NYE. I feel quite guilty about this and I can totally understand. She's spending X money to come and see me this summer but I don't want to leave my country early to spend New Years with her, as much as I love her, I want to see my friends and family. I miss them a lot, I'll be spending Xmas with my dad but I might not have time to go and see my mum if I leave early. However this is a MASSIVE deal for her and she said she might even think of splitting if I choose to stay at home. \n\nI love her so much and she is such a wonderful, kind person, I don't want to put her in a bad light. This is a tricky situation though.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend wants me to come back home for NYE but I want to spend more time with friends and family. She might consider breaking up with me over it. Am I being selfish in the relationship?","rejected":" I don't want to spend NYE with my girlfriend because I want to see my friends and family instead. Am I being selfish here?"} {"prompt":"Hey Reddit, I was wondering if you could help me out with this one. \nSo, here's the story so far: I'm friends with a girl (she is a good friend of my girlfriend) who, from my point of view, is a bit in a rough spot right now. She is 28, came out of a rather long, serious relationship (that lasted for about 8 years) a couple of years ago and hasn't had anything serious going for her ever since (apart from the occasional fuck).\n \nSo, about three weeks ago, she met this guy, who seemed like a regular bloke at first. They are both in their late 20s. So as things go, they started seeing each other quite often. She would sleep over at his place and he, in turns, would sleep over at hers. \nThere is just one problem though: no fucking. \n\nYou might say that this is not a problem as such, but you see, things are a bit weird. My friend has tried her best to initiate any kind of affectionate interaction. The closest was her grabbing his dick. He just laughed in return, said that he is a little bit tired and then they proceeded to hug each other and fall asleep (oh yeah they did make out once but did not proceed to sexual intercourse, since this bloke used the same excuse to \"get out of it\") \nSo, despite them seeing each other every day, despite clear initiatives coming from her side, nothing has happened yet. Weirder yet, my friend has totally fallen for this guy. The bloke doesn't seem to show clear signs of affection. But why would he then continue to see her every other day? Am I just over-analyzing stuff? Its weird, it seems to me that this guy is actually afraid of sex or something of that sort...\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Friend and this guy are seeing each other every day, but he doesn't show any signs of affection. Is it possible to initiate some kind of relationship between them?","rejected":" I'm trying to help out a friend and need the opinion of the community."} {"prompt":"Boy x (me) and girl x are dating, going on 4 years. We had an \"off and back on\" time abkut a year ago (relevant later). Boy and girl x are now happy, boy x got a job transfer to move to the same city after this weekend (labor day) as girl x while she finishes a master's. Girl x is super excited and picking out apartments.\n\nBoy y lives 4-5hours from girl x. They are friends. boy y is visiting girl x for labor day to go hiking, etc, while sleeping on girl X's couch. Boy y and girl x dated once during the \"off and on time\" but nothing came of it. Communication between girl x and boy y is roughly equivalent to boy x, maybe a little less (I mean, they are like 52 days in a row on Snapchat last I saw). Communication with boy x has dropped to almost nothing since (when I assume he got there, idk cus she never told me) boy y arrived. \n\nIs Boy X screwed?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl x is moving in with boy x, and boy y is visiting. Is boy x screwed?","rejected":" Boy x and girl x are dating for 4 years. Off and on time past. Communication has dropped to almost nothing since boy x arrived, is boy x screwed?"} {"prompt":"Me [24] Him [28], relationship of 6 months.\n\nIt's not that my boyfriend doesn't respect me. It's that I want him to respect me even more. I want him to admire me and for him to see me in my best light as often as possible. Maybe this is non-sequitor, but there are so many TV wives who are not very respect-worthy. Wives are often seen as kind of a drag. I don't want to be that ever in his mind. What can I do to be a woman worthy of great respect in his eyes? Thanks for your input!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I want to be worthy of respect in my boyfriend's eyes. How can I do this?","rejected":" I want my boyfriend to see me as a woman worthy of respect. How can I do this without making him feel as if he is less than me?"} {"prompt":"This is dumb, and it might not be the best place for this question but I want to know how to handle this. I would like to make this situation right with the restaurant staff and I just feel awful. \n\nI went out to a bar last night with my husband and had a few drinks and skipped dinner (read as: I got too drunk). Before we left I went to use the restroom but the lights were off and I couldn't find the toilet so I peed in what I think was the garbage. D: \n\nI did not remember this until this morning when my husband mentioned I spent a long time in the bathroom. I can't tell him what I did, I am too embarrassed. \n\nAhhhh! I'm so mortified! They probably know it was me because we were the last ones to leave. Should I mail them an apology and cash, and never ever return?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I peed in the garbage in a bar bathroom and I'm ashamed. What do I do?","rejected":" Drunk me peed in a garbage can at a restaurant\/bar! I want to apologize but I don't want them to know it was me!"} {"prompt":"This is kind of insane behavior. \n\nI moved out six weeks ago. I was paying rent, but I couldn't live with someone who went through my shit like I was 14. \n\nI saved enough to get a studio apartment. I am fully employed, go to school part time, and am single. So I am pretty focused on my own stuff at the moment. I got a kitten, but that isn't the point of contention. \n\nMy mom insisted my room be decorated to her standards, which included making the bed every day with 20 pillows arranged like the magazine picture. It drove me insane. \n\nI am a really minimalistic person. I like color, funky prints, but I don't want a clutter of knick-nacks. \n\nSo when I moved out, I took my sheets and the pillow I slept on, but left the rest of it. I got a comforter, and just have two pillows on there. I sleep on those. The bed doesn't look \"magazine perfect\" but its easy. I make my bed every day. \n\nI am like my dad [60m] and want things to be nice, neat, and clutter free. I don't keep tons of things I don't need or use. I am just very simple in that regard. Even my fashion sense is pretty straight forward. \n\nHowever, my mom keeps coming to visit me and bringing pillows and other things for my home that I don't want. Some of the stuff was cute (there was a pillow with a bull dog on it I kept.) But I don't want frilly floral things all over the house. \n\nI paid for the furniture myself and I can afford everything. But she is literally trying to fill my house with things I don't need. I told her to take it back or I would donate what I didn't want. I ended up taking a huge amount (5 large garbage bags full) of shit she brought me. And she still continues to do it. \n\nIDK what the fuck is going on, but she keeps thinking the space is her space. I am not sure what to do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Mom insists on bringing stuff I don't want to my new place. I told her to take it back or I would donate it. She keeps bringing it anyway. What the fuck is going on?","rejected":" My mother is freaking out because I don't want pillows on my bed."} {"prompt":"My GF flew off at me the other week.\n\nI asked her if she was texting another guy and me asking this question almost made her breakup with me.\n\nThe reason I thought she might be is that she has suspicious phone activity. She uses it a lot when I'm not in the same room and quickly stops what she's doing when I come in, she recently started putting it on total silent when she comes home and she leaves her phone screen side down. This has only been happening past couple of months. Put this with the fact she has never acknowledged my existence in a public sense in anyway in 2 years and I felt a bit sus.\n\nWhen I asked her if something fishy is going on she exploded and said I don't trust her etc etc went to stay at a friends house, and pretty much implied we were breaking up.\n\nNow I feel if I have a problem with something or if I am a bit suspicious I cannot ask about it or she will instantly dump me.\n\nIs it fair? I feel like I should be able to talk about what's bothering me. Am I too insecure with asking about her phone habits?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I questioned GFs phone habits... She went apeshit... now I feel I can't talk to her about stuff like that.","rejected":" GF says I'm too paranoid about her phone habits, but I feel like I should be able to talk about it."} {"prompt":"Hey \/r\/advice. I'm having some life problems, and need some guidance.\n\nI feel like I'm stuck in a shitty situation. 5 years ago I broke my right arm and as a result lost my job. Due to complications, I can no longer use it for load bearing tasks like poring milk, lifting items, and driving. Last year I was diagnosed with Osteochondritis dissecans (floating chips of bone in the knee). Luckily it's in my left knee, which allows me to use a cane in my \"good\" hand to walk. Unfortunately, I can't afford the surgery to correct it. I like to think of myself as smart, however I have dysgraphia. I have a typing speed of about 5 words a minute with 30% accuracy. I have taken computer typing classes but have not improved. I have contacted State and federal disability for help and they have stated that \"None of my problems are severe enough to warrant disability\". So, I'm officially not disabled. I just can't use my arms whilst standing and I can't use a computer effectively when sitting. I'm trained in construction and auto maintenance. What should I do for work? What's my next step? I'm living off savings and food stamps.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I can't use arms to do work or computers due to complications from injury, and I can't afford surgery to correct my dysgraphia. What should I do?","rejected":" Can't use arms for work due to injury. I want to be productive again, but can't afford the surgery to correct it. Looking for a new direction in life."} {"prompt":"I scared off this guy I got really into 2 months.\nHe told me he's never had a gf before, and has never really fallen for a girl before.\nHe seemed into me but I was cautious, we hung out a few times, then we kind of accidentally plowed (I didn't mean to, but for the first time I got super drunk because I was nervous) in the back seat of my car, and after being talked to by the police under the suspicion I was going to drive (I wasn't we just left out friends house to be in my car) he confessed he actually likes me and invited me over for cuddles. He would say how \"unfairly adorable\" he thinks I am. At a friend big party, he stayed by my side and kept offering me water. One of his best friends said he's never seen him like that with a girl before and how \"weird\" it was to see him like a girl.\nAfter a trip to LA with him and his buddies, him and I got drunk at a friends house, my friend was being negative and said she think he isn't that into me, and I cried to his friend asking \"is he even into meee??!1\" :( ugh. That night he had me over again to watch movies, but after that he didn't message me. People we didn't even know that well would get in our business and ask about us to his face, too.\nI messaged him saying sorry everyone got in our business, and he said \"we should just be friends.\"\nI still see him occasionally and it hurts really bad. If he was once interested in me, surely he can be again?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I recently got scared off by a guy. He seems really into me but I still see him occasionally. How to I win him back?","rejected":" got scared off by this guy, back to him? How to win him over again? or is he just a friend who likes me?"} {"prompt":"My daughter has always been a good kid and a good student. She's in first year university, and like many of us (myself included), she found it overwhelming. She's been keeping up with the work and getting decent grades, but for a recent English essay, she googled other people's ideas and pulled a few sentences from their work. Her prof found out, and now she's facing a disciplinary hearing. She may \"just\" get an F on the essay, or she might fail the entire course. She won't know until the hearing, which won't be for a couple of weeks.\n\nShe's freaking out, of course. She's never faced anything like this before. She's ashamed and frantic with worry.\n\nI guess I'd like to ask - has anyone here gone through something like this? How can I help her?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" daughter plagiarized small part of university essay, will get a disciplinary hearing, and I'm wondering what to do.","rejected":" daughter pulled a few sentences from work and prof found out and will be appear at disciplinary hearing."} {"prompt":"How short does a relationship have to be for one to not care that it's over?\n\nWe met over summer break while she was vacationing in my hometown. We had an amazing summer and decided it was worth a long distance relationship since she was moving to where I live after she graduates in one semester. I bought a ticket to see her this Labor Day weekend on her request.\n\nTwo hours before my flight she called me and ended it. She said that the long distance was too hard and she didn't want to have an amazing time together just to end it after.\n\nI know we weren't together for long, but I can't get her out of my mind. To make things worse, she's is still moving to where I live and says she wants to continue the relationship at that time; but has decided to completely ignore me till then to make things easier for her. Except that doesn't make things easier on me, being a person that relies on some sort of a connection.\n\nI guess what I'm asking is how do I get through the semester while I wait for the girl that I want to be with and she completely ignores me?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" GF of a few weeks broke up with me because of the distance. How do I get through the semester while I wait for her to come back?","rejected":" Got broken up with in a short term, long distance relationship. Still want to be with her. How do I wait?"} {"prompt":"I have been dating the same girl for 4 years We have lived together 3 of those years. I have always been a flirty guy and I know it can cause problems. From the start of our relationship I wasn't ready for anything long term, wanted to be single and play the field. Throughout our relationship I have been a dumbass and flirted with girls, even sent some pics that I shouldn't have. This has happen not just once but about three times. However, in the last year I wanted to get my shit together because she is a pretty kick ass girl.\n\nI don't know why I sent naked pics and flirted like I did while in a relationship. It just something I got a thrill from doing (and in the end, help me get off). I would feel guilty about it afterwards though. \n\nMy partner's father cheated on her mother and hurt her pretty good by it. So I understand her trusting issues and I haven't done anything to help it with what I've done. It is too the point where she monitors me closely everyday. She does go through my facebook, phone, and email to see if I'm doing it again. Once again, I understand why.\n\nMy biggest problem is because I have done these things in the past, I feel like I've doomed this relationship. How can I ever feel like the perfect guy for her when I've screwed up so many times. I can't pretend that I the knight in shinning armor. Because of all this, I feel like this relationship is at a standstill and we are just together cause its comfortable. I don't want that, I want to go back and treat her right and be the best I can, but I don't think the past will allow that. What can I do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I screwed up in the past with flirting and naked pics, now I want to salvage the relationship and turn it around.","rejected":" Have done some flirting in past with gf, feel like my past actions are sabotaging relationship, need help fixing past mistakes so relationship can be perfect again."} {"prompt":"I apologize for the wall of text, but I want to be thorough with this.\n\nMy mom is 56, retired last summer, and kind of lapsing in the intellectual department. She's got nothing to do that occupies her time aside from watching TV. She's been doing more reading lately, even had me pick her up a booklight so should could read while my dad is asleep, but she's reading stuff that's clearly not intellectually challenging. She bought ~10 Debbie Macomber books at a garage sale and has been consuming then nonstop. She expressed some interest to me in reading something that's less fluffy, but I'm kind of at a loss on what to get her. \n\nI work in a bookstore, so you'd think that I'd be good at making these kinds of suggestions, and I've been trying with her. I tend to pick standard book club fodder, *The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society* was a book that she claimed to like, but there are other things I've picked up for her that she hasn't seemed interested in. \n\nShe also doesn't want anything \"dark.\" She's constantly complaining about the media that my father and I consume being too dark, too creepy, too violent, too sad, so on and so on. She doesn't seem to want anything that is too deep on the emotional scale, so I don't know what to do. I tend to feel like a book is really great when it rips my heart into a million pieces and puts it back together again in a different shape. I don't think my mom wants that. \n\nI'd like to get her a series, I've been thinking about *The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency* by Alexander McCall Smith, but I'm not sure. I haven't read them, so what with them being mysteries rather than romance, I'm afraid she'll think they're \"too dark\" all over again. She's voiced interest in some \"good nonfiction\" but I'm not sure where to go with that either, since reality is often darker than fiction.\n\nThanks in advance.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Reading material for my middle-aged, retired mom. Preferably a series. \"Not dark\" but still intellectually stimulating. She's been reading fluffy romance, but I'd like to help her branch out.","rejected":" Mom likes lighter fare, not so much intellectual challenging stuff. Wondering what to get her. Not sure if it's too dark."} {"prompt":"Hello AskReddit, I did some preliminary searching and turned up nothing, so if this is a repost, I sincerely apologize.\n To the point; in the past I have burned numerous mp3 cds for my listening enjoyment. However, a 60 song playlist only lasts for so long. Recently, in a moment of nerd audacity I made the claim that I could burn a dvd disc in the same manner for a total tracklist of ~1000 songs (given the avg size of an mp3, etc, etc.) Am I correct? Or should I notify them that I may have made an error and cannot make an \"infinite playlist\", as it were.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Is it possible to burn a dvd in the same manner as burning an mp3 cd? I.E to make a 1,000 song disc?","rejected":" I want to make a 1,000 song disc, but I don't know if I can."} {"prompt":"So i just found out that my best friend wants to be romantically involved with me.\n\nThe big problem is that we are both dudes and i'm straight so i don't want to be in a relationship with him but has been my best bro for years and he really helped me through some tough times. \n\nWe had a talk about it and it turns out that he is, according to him, head over heels in love with me and he has assured me that he isn't confused or going through a phase and that his feelings are genuine.\n\nI told him that i was no longer comfortable being his best friend and he responded by telling me how he still wanted to hang out with me even through i didn't want to because he didn't want to lose me. However after that he told me something that worried me; apparently when we first met he hated me as he felt i was stealing his best friend (who is now my best friend) and he has had those types of feelings for all his previous best friends. It worries me because he appears to be very possessive towards his best friends and he wants to keep them all to himself.\n \nhe has also done a number of creepy things like asking a female friend of ours to let him sleep in her bed with her and cuddle. He has also joked about raping me a lot over the few years we were best friends and i always thought he playing up to the fact that everyone at our school called us gay or maybe he liked making uncomfortable jokes like that. \n\nThroughout most of our friendship he has wanted to sleep with me and this is a dude that i have shared bedrooms with and now i'm scared that he may have done something creepy while i was asleep. I can't trust him anymore. \n\nThis entire altercation has also split our very close group of friends apart and i need some unbiased opinions on what actions to take as i'm now having to try and convince my friends that i'm not homophobic or a liar. The worse part is that out of the five people in our friendship circle only one person doesn't know about it.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Found out that my best friend of three years is in love with me and is possessive and creepy and our whole group of friends is now split apart. Need help on what to do going forward.","rejected":" Just found out best friend of three years is in love with me and i don't know if i can trust him anymore due to his weird behaviour and over possessive nature. Need advice on what actions to take."} {"prompt":"Hey everybody, I've been married for my wife for 2 years and dating for over 6. This has been slowly building the last year or so but exploded in the past few days. My wife has told me she feels like I am always the center of attention and that she constantly lives in my shadow. And honestly I 100% agree with her. I am in law school, and all anyone asks about is how I'm doing and how proud they are of me. I do make pretty good grades, but I don't tell people my grades my wife does. \n\nI do not know what to do to make her feel like the center of attention. We have even had to switch churches because at our previous church all people would ask was how law school was going, and they seemed to ignore her. I honestly hate being the center of attention and don't desire it at all. Up until now I've never been the center of attention so I don't know what to do and how to deflect the attention back to her. \n\nI would also love some advice on steps I can do to make her feel like the center of my world. I am thinking about planning a romantic weekend away sometime soon, but I am afraid that if I plan it and surprise her with it, it will still feel like she's just \"tagging along\" since I did all the planning. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My wife feels like I'm always the center of attention and that she constantly lives in my shadow. I don't know what to do to make her feel the center of my world.","rejected":" Me [23M], wife [23F], together 6 years, and my wife feels like she is living in my shadow."} {"prompt":"I don't really want to go into details, but I (23F) have severe trust issues and my SO (22M) shattered all the trust I had in him. We're at the point where I can't believe anything he says if there could possibly be an ulterior motive. Would a no-privacy policy help, or just make me more paranoid? Any other suggestions?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My SO broke my trust, and I don't know how to fix it. Any suggestions?","rejected":" SO lied to me to be with other people. I feel hurt and can no longer trust him, but I do believe he loves me and I want to continue the relationship."} {"prompt":"Hello everyone ... let me give you a little background. About 2 months ago, my company moved my department, including my job, from New York to California. I reluctantly went with my job because I am young and felt that it would be good for my career. I don't know a single person here -- no family, friends, etc. -- and my job situation has gotten progressively more difficult every day. I really hate where I am living, and my job has gotten me so stressed out and depressed that I need to start taking anti-depressants again. I've even been having major panic attacks. The company was very shifty and unsupportive in the move, but has me locked into 2 years or else I have to pay back the moving expenses. I really wish I could transfer back home or quit, but I can't. What do I do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I recently moved cross-country with my job. I hate it and need help.","rejected":" company moved me across country, didn't tell me about job. Now I hate my job and need to quit. What do I do?"} {"prompt":"I need honest opinions on how to go about dating someone who is barely underage without ruffling too many feathers. Just to give you a little insight into the situation, we've been talking for about a month now, but haven't gotten into anything too serious yet. I'm a 22 year old male, never really had a serious relationship that lasted longer than a month, and am a virgin. She is 17 years old, turns 18 next summer, and is clearly interested in me. In the past couple of years, I've kind of come out of my ugly duckling stage and become moderately attractive and this girl is one of those that I never would have had a chance with in high school. Smoking body, athletic, and has to fight guys off with a stick. How do I deal with parents? If she's cool with sex, do I go through with it, or do I wait until she's 18 to be safe? What legal, social and emotional ramifications am I looking at? Thanks.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" How can I approach dating a 17 year old girl without ruffling too many feathers. I don't want to lose her.","rejected":" kid stubbornly postponees pursuing GF citing age difference despite expressed interest??? negatively effecting forward progress romantically\/physically thoght-wise? want change this dumbass shitty policy of mine at all costs pls help"} {"prompt":"Ugh so the title is supposed to say My boyfriend made me FEEL terrible...\n\nA few days ago the dog in the apartment below mine started barking\/howling\/whining non stop for over an hour. The walls are paper thin and eventually I got tired of it. I don't know any of the people there but happened to know the name of one guy who did live there so I emailed him saying the dog had been making noise non stop please do something about it (I knew that no one was home at that point).\n\nAt first he made it sound like he wasn't going to be doing anything about it but then I guess he was just about to get out of class and was coming home. The whole convo could pretty much be summed up as me asking him to do something about the dog, him saying \"it's barking because it's lonely\", me repeating \"please deal with the dog\" (idc why it's barking I just want it to stop(didn't say this to him)) and him saying \"okay I'm on my way back anyway\"...So the whole situation with the dog was solved pretty quickly.\n\nI showed my boyfriend the message exchange and he said I embarrassed him. Basically what he said is that it embarrases him that I got upset over a barking dog. I was polite during the conversation with the other person so it's not that. It's just the fact that I would get upset over noise. I mentioned something about making a noise complaint if it didn't stop (to my boyfriend, not to the dog owner) and he acted like I was the biggest bitch ever.\n\nI just feel like I can never complain or get upset about anything around him because he acts like I'm a big whiny bitch. It hurts my feelings. I don't want to have to deal with more nights of getting 3 hours of sleep because neighbors are playing music all night or have to try to deal with migraine headaches while listening to a dog bark. He would just rather \"ignore\" problems like these when I'm the type of person who will comfront the people causing the problem. I don't know what to do in these situations now... sorry if this is rambling. We've been dating for 8 months.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Boyfriend got upset with me when I complained about a barking dog. He makes me feel like a whiney bitch whenever I complain about things that I feel are justified. Anyone been in a relationship like this?","rejected":" Boyfriend made me feel terrible for getting upset about a barking dog. I don't know what to do now."} {"prompt":"I'm not really sure where to begin, I found the picture earlier today and confronted him about it. He said it was only a one time thing and that he was 'curious' to see what men thought of him but for me this is a huge red flag. \n\nWe've been together on-off for under a year now, don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing wrong with LGBT individuals, I've got quite a number of gay friends, my best friend is gay... it's just, it's really weird that he was actively seeking approval from gay men. It's not the first time he's done this apparently, there was an incident a year and a half ago (before we met) that he traded pictures with a guy not too far away and it made me feel uncomfortable. \n\nHe posted the picture during one of our 'off' periods, about two weeks before we got back together. He said he never wanted to hide it from me which is why he didn't use a throwaway account but he also expected me to not react well to it. His personality as well is rather 'camp' (sorry if I offend anybody) and girls thinking he's gay has been an issue in the past, but he assures me he's straight, I don't think I believe him anymore. I'm a mixture of confused, angry and somewhat disgusted right now and I really need advice. I've proposed we take a short 'break' so I can get my thoughts around it so we're not really talking atm.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I [18F] caught my [18M] boyfriend posting naked selfies on a gay male subreddit. He says it's just a 'one time thing' but I'm really worried about the effects it could have on our relationship.","rejected":" Caught boyfriend uploading a naked picture on a gay subreddit, found it (he didn't use a throwaway) and am not sure how to feel\/react."} {"prompt":"Ten months ago my girlfriend of nearly two years and I broke up. Her and I were perfect for each other. We got along better than I've ever gotten along with anyone, and we had more fun than you could imagine. We clicked- any problem that we had we could always work through. She made me feel a way I could never explain. I love her with all my heart, and I know that I will never again meet anyone as incredible as she was, and that I will never be able to love anyone in the way that I love her. To me, she is more beautiful than any supermodel or movie star, and it was as if our personalities were made to be together.\n\nTen months later, I am starting to realize that I am not going to be able to get her back. I have had a positive attitude throughout, thinking that if I believed things would get better they really would. I've been depressed, and am finally starting to realize that this miracle I've been hoping for may not come. \n\nI love her so completely and fully that I don't think I'll ever be able to get her out of my heart, and even if I met someone else I know it wouldn't ever be the same.\n\nReddit has been one of the things that has made me happy in this dark time of my life, so I need to ask you, what do I do now? What advice can you give?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm starting to realize that I may never be able to get my ex back, and I need advice on how to deal with this.","rejected":" I love someone with everything I've got, and I can't get her back. WhatthefuckdoIdo?"} {"prompt":"My ex and I have been ex's for about 5 months. She broke the relationship off, she said her feelings for me had faded. I was truly heartbroken and I am still progressing this, but feel less for her every day now days. Within this time we've talked a little, mostly basic questions like how eachother is doing.\n\nI figured out a couple of days ago that I still have a couple of things at her place, a grillpan, and a couple of other things. Now we live about 500 kms apart, so get it is really not that easy. So I messaged her about it. It goes a day or two, she messages back that she can't find a box that big for the pan to fit in. I replyed that she can buy a large box, she claims she does not know where to buy one big enough.\n\nIn the next message she askes \"Stupid question, but you wouldn't be able to come here and pick them up? :)\".\n\nAs much as I still have still feelings for her, but certainly not as much as before. I wonder what she really wants. I don't want to be rude either, we handled this breakup like two adults. I don't know if I want to see her, as she was my first love of course she will be special to me. What can I reply to this?\n\nIf a longer version is needed, I think I can provide one.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I still have stuff at my ex's place since the breakup, she asks me to drive 500kms and get it.","rejected":" ex of 3 years asks me to drive 500kms and pick up her things, I don't know what she wants, what can I reply?"} {"prompt":"When I was in 2nd year of college in Welland, Ontario (ugh) I lived with 6 girls. I'm a guy. One of them was my cousin, and the other her friend. The other 4 are not part of this story.\n\nAnyways - haven't spoken to\/heard from\/seen\/had on Facebook this friend of my cousin's for 2.5years+ and today she is asking my cousin for my D.O.B., my middle name, and my home address (in Toronto, far from Welland).\n\nThis is significantly creepy to me as I have never had anything like this happen to me before. So Reddit, what are your creepy stalker stories involving people from your past?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I haven't spoken to\/heard from my cousin's friend for two years, and now she is asking my cousin for my D.O.B., my middle name, and my home address. This is significantly creepy.","rejected":" Ex-roommate (a female) asking my cousin for my personal information after we haven't been in touch for over 2.5 years."} {"prompt":"College kid, poor, scared, and obviously on a throwaway. I understand I'm stupid and made a mistake. \nI'm 19 and in August I had unprotected sex with a girl and about a month later I went to the doctor to check out my swollen testicle, I became lighted head and fainted, he said that I probably had epidemimitis, but obviously they should run test. I felt okay because I didn't have any discharge\/ any symptoms and after the cycle of doxycycline the swelling went down and I felt much better. \n- I did however miss a day (two dosages,(recovered the next day with 2 pills) and accidentally consumed cheese\/ ice cream within' two hours of a couple of dosages. \n\nThis last week I was experiencing testicle pain, and figured I had epydidimitis. I talked to my doctor (at my college) and suspected that it was just semen going back into the urethra causing another infection since I haven't had unprotected sex since. my dad is a healthcare provider and works at that hospital, and they never called me back with the test results, I never called them because I simply forgot. I just called and they told me I had it. Oh my gosh I'm an idiot. \n\n-should I go in for an ultrasound(don't know the proper word) for my testicle to see if there is any serious damage?\n-should I get new medicine from my provider?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" have had chlamydia for 6 months, thought that 'my epidydmitis' was treated, and am now freaking out.","rejected":" I had unprotected sex, had chlamydia, and now I have a swollen testicle. I'm an idiot."} {"prompt":"College kid, poor, scared, and obviously on a throwaway. I understand I'm stupid and made a mistake. \nI'm 19 and in August I had unprotected sex with a girl and about a month later I went to the doctor to check out my swollen testicle, I became lighted head and fainted, he said that I probably had epidemimitis, but obviously they should run test. I felt okay because I didn't have any discharge\/ any symptoms and after the cycle of doxycycline the swelling went down and I felt much better. \n- I did however miss a day (two dosages,(recovered the next day with 2 pills) and accidentally consumed cheese\/ ice cream within' two hours of a couple of dosages. \n\nThis last week I was experiencing testicle pain, and figured I had epydidimitis. I talked to my doctor (at my college) and suspected that it was just semen going back into the urethra causing another infection since I haven't had unprotected sex since. my dad is a healthcare provider and works at that hospital, and they never called me back with the test results, I never called them because I simply forgot. I just called and they told me I had it. Oh my gosh I'm an idiot. \n\n-should I go in for an ultrasound(don't know the proper word) for my testicle to see if there is any serious damage?\n-should I get new medicine from my provider?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" have had chlamydia for 6 months, thought that 'my epidydmitis' was treated, and am now freaking out.","rejected":" I had a seemingly easy case of chlamydia, but then I did thing that was stupid and I'm now having problems."} {"prompt":"SO the story goes that I have had this sinking feeling that my best friends girlfriend was going to breakup with him for a while. sincing this I told him over and over that if she ever hurt him to just call me and I would be their for him. We spent tonight texting, and he is coming over tomorrow night, so we can talk. \n\nI told him some stuff about when I went through something like this. I told him that I am their for him, and that everything's gonna work out. I didn't lie to him though see his girlfriend said she wanted some space. So he is going to give her two weeks and try and contact her again after that. See what can be salvaged kind of thing. This is almost a mirror of what happened to me. \n\nI told my friend that its going to be hard, that the waiting was, and is going to be the worst part. I also reminded him that I would be their for him during the waiting. During this moment of pain in his life. \n\nWhat I need advice on is what else can I tell my heart broken friend who is truly in pain right now. I just want to be their for him, to comfort him as best I can. Please help me, any advice I would greatly appreciate thank you all very much. \n\n**Context** We are both in our twenty's. He is a straight (although I have my thoughts) male who has been dating our mutual friends sister for something like one and a half to two years. I am a MTF closeted (to everyone him included) pansexual who has been in love with him for like five years. This isn't about me though so my feelings need not be involved. Just added for transparency.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My best friends girlfriend of two years said she wanted space. I am trying to be the best friend I can be for my friend in his hour of need.","rejected":" best friend just ended GF abruptly citing space reasons despite tried compromise offer??? negatively effecting bonding process emotionally & friendship progress thoght wise? regret this dumbass move possibly stalling reconciliation effort next time around? need advice pls"} {"prompt":"2 years ago hurricane sandy came through, and we actually made out pretty well. A fucking massive tree did fall on my house, but it hit another tree on the way down, and that kinda softened the blow. In any case, after a lot of other stories, we got the tree off the house.\n\nMy family is pretty good at making the best of things, and we thought \"well, now we have a few thousand pounds of firewood!\". We have a fireplace that we like to use.\n\nYou can't use the logs right away because they have to dry out. I honestly don't remember if we split any last year, but even this year we have plenty left. So, I figured I'd be a good sport and help out, and split some logs.\n\nMy dad was in an accident recently, and broke his wrist, so wielding an axe isn't exactly something that's very comfortable for him. Another incentive for me to help out. It's at this point that I should note- He got a brand new handle for the axe about 2 weeks ago.\n\nI grab the axe (actually a maul but whatever) and the sledge, and he gives me some pointers. I hit like 4 logs off center, and make real crappy attempts. At this point I'm feeling like I'm not helping much, but he's cool about it.\n\nOn the 5th or 6th log I over swing, and BAM I bust the head clean off the handle. I casually tossed the handle down, looked at my dad, and said \"well, looks like I owe you a handle.\" I felt pretty damn bad.\n\nFortunately he was cool about it, and said that's part of learning.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Tried to help dad who can't really split logs due to injury, busted the axe apart, he was pretty cool about it.","rejected":" helped my dad split logs by hitting them with a sledge, and broke the handle of an axe. Said he owed me a handle."} {"prompt":"A few months back, I was reading up on how to teach your dog to play dead. The whole guiding him onto his back with a treat, then reinforcing with praise and reward. I figured I'd give it a shot.\n\nSo I get home from work and get down to business. Ozzy's catching on pretty quickly. Within 10 minutes, I have him rolling onto his back on command. I was pointing my finger at him and saying, \"BANG!\" as a cue. Suddenly though, as he's lying on his back, he pees a little. (In my excitement to teach him a new trick, I forgot to let him out to pee!) He's obviously ashamed of himself, even though I didn't get mad at him as it was my fault.\n\nAfter we've cleaned up and gone out for a pee break, I attempt the trick again. Point my finger at him and say \"BANG\". Ozzy tucks his ears back and slinks underneath my computer desk. No amount of calling, bribing, or coaxing gets him out until I leave the room. Since then, he gets stressed when you make a finger gun at him, or if you say the word bang. He will often try to slink under the computer desk or go into his kennel.\n\nSo my theories on what might be going on:\n\n* He somehow associated the memory of wetting himself to the cues I gave him\n* He's afraid of fireworks and thunderstorms and the loud \"BANG\" is too harsh of a cue word\n* The word \"BANG\" sounds too close to the word \"Bad\" and he thinks that when I point at him and say it, that he's being punished for something.\n\nIn any case, it's been months and I can't even bait him to lie on his back anymore. Get him to lie down and try to move a treat across his shoulder? He just goes \"NOPE\" and gets up and looks for his safety desk.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Tried to teach my dog to play dead, he wets himself and is now terrified of gun fingers and the word \"bang\".","rejected":" Dog pees on command, gets stressed when I say the word bang. I've tried to teach him to lie down and play dead, but he won't do it."} {"prompt":"I'm 17, she's 17. Her boyfriend is 16. Me and her hang out constantly, we also share some classes together. I've also known her longer (1year). They share no classes, he's younger, and they've been dating for 1 month. \nThe thing is, I write a FACEBOOK post about her and I jump-starting her car because we killed her battery;\n\nAnd he gets off on a storm to her about how that's \"disloyal\" or something. \nHe's messaging me now as we speak about the post and how he \"doesn't want any problems, because it's our 1month anniversary\". Fuck his problems. Any advice on what I should do? I understand that I should respect their relationship, AND I DO. But the fact that he got worked up over that is a red flag to me.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My best friend's boyfriend is being controlling. Breaking me and my best friend apart. Any ideas?","rejected":" My best friend's boyfriend is being controlling and I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her."} {"prompt":"I said something stupid that I cannot take back, during an argument, and my boyfriend wants to break up. He told me that he feels like he cannot trust me anymore because of what I said. (He thinks I might cheat on him in the future and he doesn't want to have to go through that.)\n\nI don't want the relationship to end like that - I want to work things out. While he was firm on his decision at the beginning, he decided that maybe he could give it a week to think things through, as perhaps he's just too upset now, but no promises. If he thinks we can work it out by the end of the week, he intends to come down to see me. (We live 2 hours away from each other.)\n\nWhat should I do that might help fix things? What's the best way to work things out? He's a very logical person, if that means anything.\n\nNote: I know that it is my fault and that I have issues that I have to deal with in therapy. I take full responsibility for what has happened, so please don't berate me. I just want to know how to fix this relationship in the best way possible.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I said something stupid that I cannot take back, during an argument, and my boyfriend wants to break up. He told me that he feels like he cannot trust me anymore because of what I said.","rejected":" My boyfriend [23\/M] wants to break up with me because I said something stupid that I cannot take back."} {"prompt":"My first girlfriend of 6 months left me 9 months ago, 7 months into the break up she contacted me again talking to me about what has happened in her life and what not after she left. She then brought up the possibility of her coming back to me. \n\nUnfortunately, we talked a bit more and she said she really wasn't sure so we just stopped talking for a bit. I contacted her again a few weeks later, then she just stopped talking to me. She wont even tell me if she wants me back or not. She just declines my requests on Skype (it was long distance), and wont tell me anything. I am having a hard time moving on with all the thoughts of her being with someone else and I cant get any solace because she wont tell me anything. What should I do? Has this happened to anyone else?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend left me, contacted me a few months later, talks a bit more then stops communicating with me, now she wont even tell me if she wants me back. What to do?","rejected":" GF left me, contacted me a few months later telling me we might get back together, wont answer me even when I really need an answer (depression, emotional distress ect.) what should I do?"} {"prompt":"Throwaway account, just because.\n\nFor three weeks last month I was traveling for work. An old friend contacted me right before I left, asking if she could stay with me while doing job interviews nearby. I told her that I wouldn't be around but that I would give her free access to my apartment. She ended up staying for two weeks and left the place in great shape. However, I'm just getting around to paying my bills for that period and I realized that my utilities bill is MUCH higher than usual. I've never seen my bill this high before and fall usually has the cheapest months because the climate is so neutral. Unlike most apartment buildings that I know of, each unit is responsible for it's own utilities, meaning that every bill I receive is for my own apartment's usage (instead of a total cost that is split between all of the tenants throughout the building). She was the only one in the apartment for the majority of that period. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her use my place for free, but now I'm wondering if I should bring this up. \n\nIf I'm ever in a position again where I let someone use my apartment, should I make some sort of stipulation about energy usage? Should I be \"that dick\" that charges a fee?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" let a friend use my apartment for free while I was gone for work, utilities bill is way higher than usual and I'm not sure if i should bring this up at all.","rejected":" let a friend stay in my apartment while I was gone and utilities bill skyrocketed. Wondering if i should bring this up to management\/additional fees later down the road."} {"prompt":"We've been together 6 months now. I'm her first bf, she's my second gf.\n\nI bought my phone around a year ago and right after it, I took it on a trip with my ex and snapped a few pictures with the two of us around famous landmarks and scenery and such. I then completely forgot these pictures existed in my phone until this week.\n\nEarlier in the week, I was showing my current gf some pictures on my phone and I guess she wanted to look through the rest of the pictures so I let her play with my phone while I went to do something else. After that, she handed my phone back as if nothing happened.\n\nThen, yesterday, we had a pretty big fight out of no where were she brought this up. About how I had these pictures of my ex in my phone. However, not only are the pictures from around a year ago, I took maybe 50-100 pictures since then so I rarely use my phone for pictures and i rarely scroll through my past photos. As a result, I had absolutely no idea that these pictures even existed.\n\nI tried explaining this to her and I said I was sorry for forgetting to get rid of them and that if she had asked, I would have deleted them right there. But she didn't say anything about it until the fight and I can't seem to get her to understand that I simply forgot about them. It's not like I was secretly looking at them and reminiscing. I just simply forgot.\n\nOf course, I have deleted the pictures now. But no matter how many times I try explaining to her that I just forgot, she doesn't seem to accept my explanations. So what should I do\/say?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Gf found pictures of ex in my phone and seems to not understand that I simply forgot about them. What should I do\/say to fix this?","rejected":" my current gf found pictures of my ex and i from a vacation a year ago on my phone and she's extremely upset. What do i do?"} {"prompt":"Quick background: My ex (m24) broke up with me about a month ago and basically I (f20) have been a completely mess because of it. I also did the unthinkable and pleaded to get back and work around the differences but that hasn't worked out. Anyway, it seems like he is doing fine and messages casually every week or so, just to see whats up, hows work etc. I, on the other hand, do not want to talk to him as that sets me back a lot in my progress and gives me false hope that he wants to get back together. \n\nHow do I tell him that I'm finding this difficult because this sets me on edge and I end up crying pretty much all the time thinking about it. Please help me come up with a way to convey to him that I just can't carry on this superficial friendship where I can't even be honest with my true feelings and that I will only talk to him if he wants to have a conversation about us.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" After a painful breakup, ex messages me regularly just to chat etc, I want to tell him I can't carry on this friendship where I can't be honest with my true feelings. How to convey this?","rejected":" After a painful breakup with ex, I need advice on how to or how not to remain friends. How do I tell him that I just can't carry on this superficial friendship where I can't even be honest?"} {"prompt":"Hi everyone,\n\nI've had a really tough week and feeling at an all-time low and just need some support\/advice. I am over working and studying long hours and haven't been sleeping well. My whole body is aching from sitting all day and all I have been doing in binge eating. I want to lose weight, but it's this vicious cycle I can't seem to get out of. I have tried so hard to work out and eat healthy this week, but from a lack of sleep, and stress l I seem to be failing. I find myself snacking on kitkat\/biscuits\/other sweets people bring at work non-stop. It's like I can't control myself. I don't remember being like this. I feel good for the few minutes I'm eating and then I feel guilty for it and promise myself I won't do it again. 10 minutes later I find myself in the kitchen thinking \"fuck it I feel awful, I deserve it.\" I feel so shitty and alone.\n\nI was talking to my boyfriend about it this morning, but he has the opposite problem. He is very very skinny and forgets to eat\/not hungry and is trying to gain weight. He complains about not getting enough sleep and being sore when I sleep MUCH less than him and work out more. He is not encouraging with my workouts and doesn't even do what I do, and I'm an out of shape girl that smokes. When I told him about the binge eating he didn't say anything other than \"Have a good day at work.\" I was livid. I am so angry with him.\nSorry about the rant \u2013 really need some support PLEASE PLEAS PLEASE, have no one to talk to about this.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Binge eating at work on sweets, over worked and feeling shitty. Boyfriend is super skinny and not encouraging. Need support.","rejected":" Been binge eating the last week and am feeling really shitty about it. Tried everything to lose weight but am failing miserably. Seeking support\/advice from anyone who has been through this before."} {"prompt":"I've been with my fiance for 3 and a half years now. She is bi-polar and I have ADD and depression. We both go to therapy, and we both (admittedly) have good days and bad days with respect to our emotional states.\n\nRecently she's noticed that she isn't very nice to me. In fact she can be pretty darn scary. Scary to the point that it affects the communication in our relationship. I find myself unable to express opinions without fear of her lashing out because of what I said. She's aware of this and expressed a desire to be nicer to me. She said that she doesn't like to be mean to me and that I don't deserve it, but she doesn't know how. She said that she's afraid it will ultimately ruin our relationship and asked for my help. \n\nI have no clue how to help her be nicer to me. Any ideas or experience with this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Fiance is bi-polar and wants to be nice to me. She doesn't know how. I need advice for her to be nicer to me.","rejected":" My fiance wants to be nicer to me. She doesn't know how, and I need help on how to make her."} {"prompt":"Hi r\/relationships. Some context.\n\nI'd been dating this girl around November last year; it didn't work out initially and we went our separate ways. She contacts again about a month ago and asks if I want to hang out; we do. This time it works out so much better than before; we'd both matured a lot due to finishing school, I'd recovered from depression, and it was really utterly fantastic. I really like this girl, but seeing as the US is cemented; we kinda grudgingly agreed to keep it very low-key and casual seeing as I'm away for so long.\n\nFast forward past some pretty awesome casual dates to tonight; where after it all she confesses that she really does truly like me (as i do her) and that she'd like us to date properly when I get back, in spite of me going to the US. Now; my dilemma. This girl is perfect for me in every fashion. Banter is on point; she's stunning, great sexual chemistry, and we really like one another.\n\nI wasnt gonna go out of my way to bang my way across US and Europe anyway; but I feel as if seeing I'm away for so long; it'd be bound to happen at some point (and she doesn't want me to put it all on hold for her while im gone). However; I'm kinda fiercely loyal, and I don't want to hurt her; but want it to happen when I get back. I also know that if she was to move on to someone else, it'd break my stupid little heart, despite how reasonable it is from her perspective.\n\nWe're not going to cut eachother off (we plan to be in constant contact); but naturally the lack of intimacy is an issue and we're not really suited to Long Distance Relationships. Help me out?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Going overseas, girl I like says its okay for me to get with other people while I'm gone, however I'd rather be with her. How do I express this wish for exclusivity without placing limits on her?","rejected":" Girl I like confesses she wants us to date properly when I get back from overseas; I'm very loyal and don't want to hurt her by moving on to someone else; how do I express this to her?"} {"prompt":"So I've known this girl for about 3 months. She blew me away from the minute I first met her in my friends house. We hung out a lot (4\/5 nights a week) over summer, just as friends. I asked her out about 1+1\/2 months ago and things are going good!\n\nBut there's one thing that has been bugging me. She openly admitted to me about 2 months ago that she doesn't believe in love. She said she thought she was in love in a previous relationship, but now realizes she wasn't at all.\n\nThis is bugging me because I know I'm very capable of loving another person. I'm worried that if I grow to love her after a while, she won't feel the same.\n\nIs this an opinion that a lot of people have about love? Do you think I can change her opinion? Or do you think I'm wasting my time and I'm asking for my heart to be broken?\n\n.. I'd rather clear this in my mind while I'm still in the early stages..\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend admitted to me that she doesn't believe in love anymore. Worried that I'll grow to love her and she won't feel the same. Should I keep trying or move on?","rejected":" My girlfriend confessed to me recently that she doesn't believe in love. I think I'm capable of loving someone, so is it worth holding out hope? Or do I just move on?"} {"prompt":"Met a great girl last week, we've been clicking so fast and I know that we have something great going for us. We went out on our first date and she explained to me her situation with her ex, which had me in awe and I did not really know what to tell her.\n\nShe was about to break up with her ex when I think he started to sense she was going to. They were staying in a hotel for the weekend, and he threatened to kill himself by jumping off a balcony. When she tried to restrain him he threw her away where she ended up going through a glass table. To add fuel to the fire he began telling people she raped him on the trip and he doesn't trust her anymore.\n\nThe worst part is he texts her just about everyday and she is clueless on how to handle it. She doesn't want to feel responsible if she does end up killing herself, and she complies to talk to him just to avoid this. She assured me there are no feelings at all, but she does it because she couldn't live with herself.\n\nI literally had no idea how to respond. I told her I was glad she was sharing this with me, but I really don't know how the handle the situation. Usually when people say they're going to kill themselves over a girlfriend, it's just to find a little glimmer of hope and to hold on to something that is not there. This girl has a huge heart and I think she really doesn't want to feel that guilt.\n\nHow do I go about helping her out in this situation? It seems really tricky and I don't want to get in the middle, but I really like this girl and he needs to back the fuck off.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl is getting threatened by ex, she is trying to help him but it seems difficult. What do I do?","rejected":" [21 M\/F] started seeing a girl, her ex is threatening to kill himself and is just telling everyone he raped her."} {"prompt":"I have know him for ~11 years. We used to hang out all the time. Video games, metal etc. We shared a lot of interests. But then he found more friends.\n\nWe spent less and less time together. Nowadays we only see each other in school. Every now and then we skype and vidya, and it's fun.\n\nHe doesn't care about my things though. Anytime i am not just listening to him in a conversation, and try to talk about something i'd like to, he goes \"k\", and keeps going like i never said anything. I also seem to be the second choice whenever someone else is available.\n\nI don't fucking know anymore. He is the only person outside of my family that wants to spend any time with me, but i don't know if he is a friend at all.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm questioning if my best friend is actually my friend.","rejected":" I'm trying to find out if my best friend is really my best friend, or just a friend at all. I'm not sure what to do."} {"prompt":"Sorry if this comes out poorly formatting-wise,doing this on phone.\n\nMy ex and I dated for 2 1\/2 years. We met at college and quickly became great friends which led to us dating. Throughout the relationship she stressed that she wasn't one for relationships and was only involved in one with me because she loved me so much (we were each our first serious relationship).\n\nThroughout our time together she kissed another guy once and swore it'd never happen again and broke up with me once only to reconcile a week later and apologize. Around 5 months ago she broke up with me again, saying shewanted to be single her final year of college. She claimed she still loved me and if she had to be with someone it'd be me.\n\nI tried to move on and cut contact but she kept finding a way to stay relevant in my life, even though several times I asked her if she wanted to get back together to which she replied no. She said she jusy wanted to hook-up with other guys, which she has during our time apart.\n\nAs I've said, she's kept in contact despite me asking her to stop and have even had to take her to the hospital at one point. A week ago she showed up at my house saying she missed me and we agreed to meet for lunch to sort things out.\n\nAt lunch we agreed we still loved each other very much and that we should take things slowly. She says that if she finds that I'm not what she wants that she will end it for my sake. It's been a few days now and i just can't help but feel that she isn't nearly as serious about us as I am.\n\nMy question is should i even bother with the relationship at this point? I do love her but she's just such a pain in the ass and has caused me so much grief. I should note we are both graduating in May and are most likely moving to different states. Thanks for any help or insight you can give if you managed to get this far.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Gf of 2 1\/2 years dumped me for the 2nd time5 months ago, kept in contact and agreed to take things slow. Should I even bother?","rejected":" ex gf and I dated for 2 1\/2 years, broke up for a while, trying to get back together, she stills wants to hook up with other guys, should i take this slow and hope she doesn't want me anymore?"} {"prompt":"My girl and I have been together for a few months now. However, there is a guy that she still is in contact with that worries me. This guy happens to be her ex LTR. She told me at the beginning of the relationship while we were in the dating phase that she had slept with him. I said I appreciate your honesty and we moved on and we are now exclusive. \n\nShe wants to remain friends with this guy and I told her I found it a bit weird. They were together for a long time and I don't think its my place to tell her who she can and cannot see. She told me anyway that she wouldn't be cutting him out of her life. \n\nI am aware that they are still in contact through social media and text. I had not been aware if they actually see each other but I had a strong suspicion they do during the week. I asked her about it and she came clean. They have been seeing each other platonically about once a week for the whole time we have been together. He is obviously still in love with her. The part that bothers me is that she didn't tell me they were actually hanging out. I think in her mind she covered it by telling me they were still in contact.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" She is still in contact with her ex LTR of 3 years. I was not aware of just how close they were.","rejected":" my GF is still seeing her ex LTR."} {"prompt":"I understand that they used to and that people [complained] because there were lots of \"vote up if\" type posts that were getting karma. Removing karma from them, however, does not appear to have changed things. They've always been reported and deleted (none are on in the pages [archived by archive.org] for the time before it was removed). They still show up from time to time (despite it actually saying right above where I'm typing this \"*Beginning your title with \"vote up if\" is violation of intergalactic law.*\"), then they get reported and removed.\n\nHowever, one effect that this has influenced is the creation of rage comics and an increase in screenshots. I've even noticed that increase just over the last year. Now, I'm not saying that they wouldn't happen if self posts got karma, nor that they are always inappropriate, but it is evident that there are some things that would be better as self posts that are instead posted as screen shots or rage comics and it's hard to not think that the lack of karma for self posts plays a part in this.\n\nSo, I think we should revisit this decision. It seems to me that self posts add original content to reddit and should be encouraged. This very, and very popular, subreddit is a perfect example. It accepts nothing *but* self posts. [IAmA] is another perfect example of a popular subreddit that is affected by this that is also quite popular. So, is there any reason we shouldn't start letting self posts get karma? If there is not, what kind of karma would be the most appropriate for them?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Self posts add original content to reddit. Why don't we start letting them get karma? What kind of karma would be the most appropriate for them?","rejected":" Removing karma from self posts doesn't seem to have had the intended effect and may have caused other problems, why not give it back?"} {"prompt":"Things at work have gotten insane and I just don't like they way many things have been handled. This is a corporate IT job at a Fortune 250 company. My senior developer quit a few weeks ago and I was offered the position, but things have been so insane lately we haven't had time to discuss details. *I'm now solely responsible for a massive, mission-critical application* and that has brought on a lot of anxiety. They need me, and I really don't want to abandon them.\n\nWe'll be discussing things either tomorrow or next week. I'm not sure what to do here. I'm very unhappy and am pretty sure all the extra responsibility will not help. If they were to offer me a shit ton of money\/extras, I'd *consider* waiting it out on the condition that several things change.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" How do I best communicate with my boss that I'm unhappy, on the verge of quitting, but am willing to stay if they offer me a shit ton of money and some things change?","rejected":" I'm unhappy at work, not sure if I quit. I'm not very happy at where the company is going. How do I approach this with my boss?"} {"prompt":"The problem is: \n\nHe has trust issues. He says he trusts me, but that he doesn't trust the guys around me. And although he trusts I won't cheat on him, his qualm is that I like any type of attention I can get from guys. I'm around more people more than he is because I'm still in college and yes, I do get attention from college aged guys at work, school, social media etc. \n\nHe's particularly jealous of a co worker in his 20s who happens to be really fit and my math buddy whom I study with sometimes. Last week, when I studied with my math buddy he kept asking me several questions about our hang out and I became annoyed to the point at which I told him that if he didn't trust me he was going to ruin the relationship. \n\nI also told him I had looked up articles and was starting to wonder if this was a red flag trait of a toxic relationship. He then told me he wanted to trust me and he wanted to work on his trust issues and to be supportive of him. I did reassure him and say I wouldn't trade him for any of these guys because he is special to me. He does however, admit he has these trust issues and is willing to work on it.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Boyfriend has trust issues and is very jealous of other guys who I hang out with. Says he wants to work on his trust issues and is willing to be supportive of him. Is this normal?","rejected":" Boyfriend has trust issues. I'm not sure if this is normal or if he is just insecure. I'm not sure if I should be worried or not."} {"prompt":"I genuinely enjoy being around my friend and I want to invite her to a party I will be having. However, I really hate her pseudo-boyfriend and do not want him there. The first time I met him she brought him to a previous party I had and he was completely awful - I mean he arrived intoxicated, was rude to my boyfriend, was rude to me, and I overheard him making comments about how lame we were. After we invited him into our home and have him free food and alcohol! He was so obnoxious that he literally broke up the party...everyone there expressed distaste with his demeanor and people were actually leaving because they didn't want to be around him.\n\nSome options:\n\nDon't invite her at all: difficult because she lives with another friend of ours who I do plan to invite and I won't be able to invite one without the other. I can not invite either but I am sure they will hear about it through the grapevine or someone will post something on social media, and I don't want to have to lie to them because I like them.\n\nTell her that this guy sucks: we are co workers and I don't want to make that awkward. Also, all of her other friends have already told him he sucks and she has been hard headed about it.\n\nI realize this sounds petty but I really don't want to spend any time around this Martin Shkreli wannabe if I don't have to.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" how do I invite my friend to a party without inviting her pseudo-boyfriend who I don't want to be around?","rejected":" How do I invite someone to a party without inviting their significant other, and if there is no tactful way, how can I handle having an obnoxious jerk in my home, killing my party vibe"} {"prompt":"This is just a simple question, nothing dramatic. My boyfriend and I have been dating 2 years and will be living together next semester in an 10 person flat. 7 of these other people are single women and 1 is a gay man. We're the only couple, and we don't know any of these people. \n\nMy question is, how much cuddling is acceptable in common spaces? There are 10 tiny bedrooms so there is private space for cuddling and such, but would it be awkward to do that in common space? My boyfriend's pretty demonstrative and I'd like to know if this is something we should avoid. Obviously no sex will be occurring at all, the walls are thin. But should we keep our couple-y demeanor for behind closed doors? What about hugs and flirting? It may sound stupid, but from facebook stalking I've seen at least a couple of these girls post stuff about hating obnoxious couples. A couple are also very unhappily single based on their statuses, and I don't want to rub it in their faces. \n\nIs this a conversation I should have with my boyfriend before shoving him aside if he tries to go in for a kiss? Or am I overthinking things? What are the appropriate boundaries?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" my boyfriend and I will be living together in a shared flat. How much cuddling (or kissing) is acceptable in common spaces? Is this something I should have with him before shoving him aside if he wants to go","rejected":" My boyfriend and I are moving into a new apartment with 8 other single people. We're not going to be having sex on the premises, but I'm wondering how much non-sexual contact is acceptable in common spaces."} {"prompt":"Where do I begin.. I have been beyond unhappy (in general) lately. This isn't the first time I've felt like this, but it doesn't normally \"last\" this long. So I'm going through stuff..\n\nWe both have feelings for each other, we aren't in a relationship, and we watch TV every night together. I haven't been myself, and I know I'm extremely irritable and pretty much a ticking time bomb, so I tell him I'm sick (I was too, but it was more about my emotions), and we'll watch again in a few days. He keeps checking up on me.. Every day. I tell him I'm fine, but I really just want to be left alone and he won't. We fight (I absolutely started it, but I was trying to stay away). He apologized, but I still haven't talked to him in over a week, but I'm still the exact same so I feel like I still need to be by myself.. And I just can't say what I mean or how I feel. But how long will this feeling last? Forever?\n\nA small part of me never wants to speak to him again, but the rest of me wants to go back to the way things were. Being alone isn't going to make me any happier, but I'm not happy anyway, so.. \n\nI am not a caring\/affectionate person in general. I don't even say 'I love you' or hug my mother, and there's nobody I care about more. Do I care about him? It's been 3 years, absolutely, but nothing makes me happy these days - I'm not even sure if I enjoy watching TV with him anymore, but I'm not sure if that's a temporary feeling, and I'm just hurting about everything. But then I feel like I will regret it in the future. We get along great for the most part, but I'm still on the fence. :(\n\nSorry if this a mess. Advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Not sure how to handle a relationship that has gone stale and I can't say what I mean or feel, and I don't know if it's permanent.","rejected":" boyfriend stubbornly postponees intimate time citing health reasons despite tried reasonable compromise offer??? negatively effecting relationship emotionally\/physically thoght wise? want change this dumbass shitty policy of mine soon please help pls halp"} {"prompt":"My boyfriend and I love each other very much, but love is pretty much all we've got that works. Well, we also get along very well. But other than that it feels like it is all obstacles between us. \n\nWe are long distance now because we are both academics and living the \"two-body problem.*\" We not only live far from each other, but far from our families that rely on us both for a lot of help -- and they will only become more reliant on us over time. (For me, the responsibility is taking care of my ailing and elderly parents (I'm an only child), for him it is his impoverished widowed mother and very sick brother). Top that with the fact that we have to work like maniacs around our numerous visits to each other and to our families to stay afloat in our very competitive careers. \n\nI could give up my work, but I am so close to a breakthrough in my research and it is on a treatment for a disease that is such a terrible scourge, I feel I can't leave it. Plus, being a scientist is not just what I do, it is what I am. This isn't like being a carpenter and I can just built a workshop in the basement and keep going with it. I would be miserable without my research, and not the woman he fell in love with anymore.\n\nCan this possibly ever work out?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" BF and GF (me) love each other and get along well, but the rest of life looks like love might not be enough to keep us together.","rejected":" I'm in love with my boyfriend, but I'm not sure if I can stay with him."} {"prompt":"I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we've been living together for the past few months. Now, generally I've come to accept him for being a 'guy' and not cleaning up after himself. He has got a lot better at it though so I'll give him that. Anyway, this morning I went downstairs as usual to clean up a bit and when I went to pick up the remote off the floor I noticed a white mcdonalds cup sitting next to the chair. Thinking it was just a left over drink I went to go dump it in the sink only to realize that there was piss in the cup. I'm not sure how long it was sitting behind the chair but it smelled REALLY bad. It was pretty much full with ashes at the bottom of it [he smokes]. I don't really know how to go about talking to him about this or how to even bring it up. Advice anyone?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My boyfriend left a cup full of piss on the floor and I noticed it. I don't know how to handle it. Advice anyone?","rejected":" Found a cup that contained piss behind the chair today. He has gotten better at cleaning but I'm not sure how to bring it up to him or even if I should. Any advice?"} {"prompt":"I get a call nearly every week from the phone number 1 (720) 539-6698. I think the number is a credit card scam. The automated message says it is cardholder services and that it can lower the interest rate on your credit card. I pressed 1 to \"speak to an agent.\" When the person picked up I asked what company he worked for and why they continued to call me when I'm on the National Do Not Call Registry, and he hung up. I called back and it went straight to voicemail saying \"The mailbox belonging to Mike(?) is full.\" I'm damn near positive they are more than annoying telemarketers, they are attempting to steal people's financial information. \n\nI already filed a complaint with the [National Do Not Call Registry] but I have a lack of faith in their ability to do anything about the fact that this scumbag is trying to rip people off. It seems like they're more worried about telemarketers than anything. I wouldn't be as up in arms about this if it was just stupid telemarketers, but I'm pissed that there's probably poor people out there getting ripped off. This asshole has been calling for months, but I just hang up. Today I've had it. \n\nWhat else can I do to make sure this scumbag sees justice?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Phone number 1 (720) 539-6698 calling me trying to sell me credit card interest rate lowering services. The Do Not Call Registry doesn't seem to be taking any action. What else can I do to get justice?","rejected":" Credit card scumbag keeps calling me, I have filed a complaint with the Do Not Call Registry but I'm pissed that this asshole is trying to rip people off. What else can I do to get revenge?"} {"prompt":"I'm a student at college and I was going to confess all my sappy gooey feelings to a guy (Let's call him Mike) and ask him out. We hang out as much as we can on weekends. I've known Mike for a few months now and like I said, gooey feely blah - I was going to ask him out. \n\nSo as we were driving to a restaurant for dinner, he tells me about his new roommate(let's say Joey). Joey and Mike go back to elementary school. Turns out, they dated in high school and when Joey's parents found out about his homosexuality, they took all of his communication (phone, facebook, email everything). Mike tells me that nobody's seen or heard from Joey in years and messaged him through a fake Facebook account and Joey is moving across the country to get away from parents, but in doing this he is moving in with Mike. \n\nSo I'm shocked at dinner and the rest of the drive as Mike also talks about the huge probability of them being together. I couldn't say anything about me so I left earlier than we planned. My fear is that they are getting together and I'll be left in the dust. (Prob'ly happening anyway) and I still have all these feels for Mike but I don't want to ruin our friendship or get in the way of this soap opera story. I feel like it's my last chance to tell him. Should I? Is it a good idea?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Was going to ask a guy out, turns out he's moving across the country with his ex. Should I say anything? Is it a good idea?","rejected":" I wanted to ask out a guy but found out his ex (who was gay) is moving across the country and moving in with him."} {"prompt":"Honestly, I'm not sure how significant this piece of information is in the context of our relationship.\n\nI've been dating my boyfriend for a few months now, and he doesn't know that the drunken dance-floor makeout we had a little over a year ago, the first time we met, was my first kiss.\n\nI've kissed plenty of other people since then, so it's not like he's the only person I've ever kissed. I told him that we had kissed on the dance floor last year and he barely remembered it, which I don't have a problem with. \n\nBasically, my first kiss was not that significant emotionally (but it was pretty good), but the fact that I'm dating the guy I had my first kiss with is...interesting. It wasn't his first kiss. He's my first boyfriend; I'm not his first girlfriend. Also, he's the first (and only) person I've had sex with, while I'm not the first person he's had sex with.\n\nShould I tell him that he was my first kiss? Would he find it a funny coincidence, or be a little weirded out that he's been my \"first\" for all these things? I don't want him to think I'm super clingy or that I planned this all out or something. It's true that I was a little extra interested in him the second time we met because of our past encounter, but that definitely didn't become the basis of my attraction to him. \n\nI'm debating between not telling him at all, or waiting until we've known each other for longer. The topic of first kisses may come up at some point before then, though.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend of six months and, admittedly, my first kiss was not that significant emotionally, but it was pretty good. I don't know if I should tell him that he was my first kiss.","rejected":" I had my first kiss with my boyfriend of a month, and he's the only person I've ever had a real-life physical encounter with. Should I tell him?"} {"prompt":"I have to provide a bit of a back story. There is a husband and wife. They own a house. The husband dies and the wife has dementia and is put into a home. Due to the wife's lack of mental capacity, 3 of their daughters were appointed as executors. The house that the father and mother lived in is up for sale. The money from this sale would not be made probate, but would go to the mother and pay for her stay at the nursing home.\n\nNOW for my question. Do all 3 of these sisters have to agree on the price of an offer in order to be able to sell it or do only 2 need to agree and they majority rule the other sister? Like if there was an offer of $150,000 and the 2 sisters agreed to that but the third sister said she doesn't want to accept any offer unless its $200,000, would it not matter because 2 over power one?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" 3 sisters are executors. 2 agree on an offer on their fathers house, the third one does not. Do 2 overpower one?","rejected":" Do all 3 of the executors have to agree to sell the house that the father and mother lived in in order to sell it or do a majority of them need to agree?"} {"prompt":"(24\/f) I have had two boyfriends in my entire life- each lasting 4+ years. Never really got a chance to sleep or date around. I know that men prefer younger women, and I feel the older I get the harder it will be for me to sleep with men I find attractive, and who find me attractive as well. I have always had trouble finding guys I would like to date or sleep with too.\n\nOnly problem is I have a boyfriend right now, we've been dating 4 years. I love him a lot but we've had a lot of ups and downs, he treated me poorly in the past, but I had forgiven him. Even though I had forgiven him, it's still never quite the same. I guess the combination of the past plus the fact we've been together awhile, etc. kind of contribute to me feeling bored with him sometimes. I just don't want to wake up one day and feel I missed out.\n\nI don't really know if I want to dump him or if I should. Like I said, he brings me a lot of happiness and I love him and don't want to hurt him. I feel conflicted.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I don't know if I want to dump my bf because I feel I haven't slept with enough people, even though I have a boyfriend right now. Conflicted because I love him and don't want to hurt him.","rejected":" Been in a monogamous relationship with a \"best friend\" for 4 years. He was abusive in the past, but I forgave him, but I feel bored with him sometimes. Should I end it?"} {"prompt":"Not even sure if this is the best place to post this but here goes:\n\nAbout 3 days ago I got invited by my friend and classmate (let's call her Katie) to spend this Saturday at an amusement park a few towns (let's call it town A) over, and also to maybe watch some movies. The company (X) she interns at is also located in town A and gives them cheap tickets to the amusement park and movies. I said sure, and asked her if I could invite some friends. She said yes so I did but everyone I invited couldn't go due to prior obligations.\n\nSome background: a lot of my classmates are interning for company X, so I assumed it would be a group get together party type of deal for classmates. Katie and I are good friends, we've had some heart-to-heart but I don't want any kind of relationship with her, nor do I find her really *that* attractive. \n\nAbout an hour ago I get a call from Katie saying every other one of my classmates in town A has peaced or has other plans for the weekend. She's a little buzzed but we talked and she made plans for a party Friday night, then amusement park and movies the next day. I didn't want to sound mean over the phone but hearing everyone else has basically peaced makes me wonder if she has ulterior motives for inviting me over (to a party on Friday night, of all things). She even admitted that it'd be basically me and her for all of Friday night and Saturday, and overall sounded super eager to see me. \n\nShould I even go at all? Basically if she makes any sort of move I'll have to turn her down. Then it'd be hella fucking awkward for the rest of the time together. I could always jet because I have my own car but that'd be REALLY shitty and hurtful of me. If there's the potential, I'd like to avoid this situation altogether. It is really easy to come up with some last minute excuse why I can't drive 2 hours over to town A.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Friend invites me to party and amusement park and movies and sounds super excited to see me. Should I go or not?","rejected":" Friend invites me to an amusement park and movies, makes plans for a party Friday night, then party and movies the next day, all at the same time. I don't want to go even though I really like her. Should I just not go? And if I do go, what can I say so I don"} {"prompt":"I sold my car to someone a few months back. Let's call him Bob. I signed over the title to Bob and made him sign a bill of sale\/notice of transfer. I got three copies, one of which I mailed to the tax collector's office the next day. I didn't hear anything from either the Bob or the tax collector for nearly two months. Then today, a friend of a Bob came by and said that Bob sold it to someone else, Jim. Bob never transferred thr title over to himself when he bought the car. Instead, he sold it to Jim. Jim tried to go get tags in his name, but can't because the title is still under my name. Bob and friend gave Jim my number and said that they aren't going to deal with the situation and Bob changed his number.Now Jim wants me to go with him to the DMV and sign the title over to him. That isn't legal, I think. Because I sold the car to Bob, and I already turned in the bill of sale\/notice of transfer to the tax collector So isn't this out of my control and Bob's problem? I guess my question is what do I do about this, if anything at all? I Live in Florida if that's relevant.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Bob sold my car to Jim. Jim now wants me to sign the title over to him. Bob has changed his number. What do I do?","rejected":" car is in the wrong hands, car is sold to the wrong person, and I don't know what to do about it."} {"prompt":"Okay so I didn't really get both my front teeth but I couldn't pass up the title and as most TIFU post begin, mine too starts with a little backstory. I'll try to be quick.\n\nSo in the 6th grade I was on my way to school on my bike just as I would do any other day. Suddenly, and I shit you not, some jackass I had never met decided to kick me off of my bike. I wasn't expecting this and so when he kicked the peg of my bike I swerved too hard and as my front tire went perpendicular I flew off the bike, and onto the pavement, teeth first. Luckily my teeth only had some cracks in them and they really weren't noticeable. My lip on the other hand was split wide open but that part isn't important to the post.\n\nSo here I am about a week ago at my friends house having a few beers and taking shots while playing a Mario kart drinking game when some more people show up so we're gonna go to Gamestop to get more controllers. (Sober driver drove, obviously) While walking out of his room my friend looks up and blows on the plastic piece of those pull strings that you use to let down the foldable attic stairs, you know what I mean. (I added a photo of the one in my house but it doesn't have the plastic piece) In any case it shoots up the string and makes it quite high and so I, in my infinite tipsy wisdom decided to beat his \"record\". Now I'm shorter than my friend by a few inches and I know there's no way I'll beat his \"record\" if my breath dissipates before it reaches the plastic handle thing. Naturally this prompts me to jump a bit off the ground so as to compensate for the height difference. I hop, I push with my breath, I only get the plastic piece a few inches up the string. This is followed by me closing my mouth on the way down from the hop and the plastic piece hooking on the back of my tooth and shattering it. The next day I went to the dentist and had my tooth bonded. My mother said it was a Christmas gift.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" TIFU by getting tipsy, \"competing\" with my friend, shattering part of my tooth, and getting it for Christmas.","rejected":" Had shitty attempt at beating friend's record for getting teeth; failed miserably by misjudging height difference between foot and tooth; then had tooth bonded over christmas."} {"prompt":"When i was 16 i had an abortion with my ex boyfriend. \nliving with guilt, \ntwo years later my boyfriend (23 M) and i (18 F) (being together for a year or so) at the time ended up being pregnant.\nAt first he wanted to have an abortion. \nI could not live with myself if i would have agreed to do so.\n2 months pass by and we have never been so in love. it was the holiday season and on christmas eve i began to bleed. i went to the ER and the doctors told me everything was fine and sent me home. (i saw a sonogram that day) Also that day he was not present due to being at work,\nthe day after christmas, i misscarried.\ni have never felt so empty in my life.\ni am sad whenever i see a baby, or an infant \nI want to have a child, but whenever i tell him he just says \"not right now\" or \"maybe when i'm 30\"\nwe have been together for about 2.5 years now. But this may be a deal breaker for me because of how i feel and how much i love him and want him to have my children.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" had abortion when 16, 2 years later BF and i decide to have kid. he doesn't want to anymore and we've been together for 2.5 yrs. feel empty and want child. wat do?","rejected":" boyfriend stubbornly postponees childbearing citing financial reasons every time despite tried compromise offer??? negatively effecting bonding romantically and sexually thoght wise? want change this dumbass shitty ass policy he has for sure please pls help"} {"prompt":"My mother has a really bad habit for forming circle arguments where she restarts the conversation after its long dead and I don't care anymore.\n\nLast week: \n\nI come home from work after school, it is 10:30 on a Tuesday night, I am beat I put my half eaten pizza in the fridge and head for bed. Not before she catches me in the doorway of my room and yells about how I haven't fed my dog or vacuumed in a week.\n\nMe: I have been leaving at 6:00 am and only come home for 30 minutes after school to shower. I don't have time during the week but do everything I am asked on weekends. \n\nHer: well maybe you should quit your job so you can help out with the horses, goats, chickens, and your brothers.\n\nNote: none of those are mine, I pay for my phone, gas, insurance, clothes and food. Gas is very expensive as I have a diesel car and drive 70 miles a day. \n\nI decided to show her just how expensive it is. She has had to pay for everything this month via my stepdad who is tried of her nagging me for the 1-2 hrs I am awake at home. The total thus far \n$234 a week\n\n$65 in fuel\n$84 in insurance\n$25 in food\n$60 for a pair of pants her goat ripped \n\nAnd this is a cheap week. Next week my car needs glow plugs and a coolant flush before summer....\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My mom gets mad at me for not doing chores and I tell her how expensive it is to live with her.","rejected":" my Mom is a nag, I have been putting her off to let her get over her nagging. I finally show her how much of a burden she really is."} {"prompt":"So this happened yesterday.. My best friend ( a girl) started flirting with a friend of mine on Friday. She never told me anything.. I found out when my friend decided to show half the squad their text message exchange. That shit hurt like a mf, this lead to me finding out I have feelings for her. \n\nI had the ability to end what was happening between them but chose not to.. Opting to let it carry on since she was happy. So come Monday they fuck. I should probably mention that my friend thinks I have no feelings for her. By then half the dorm knows what's going on and she has no idea. \n\nLater that night I received a message from her saying we need to talk and that she'd fucked up. This is where shit turns bad.. I let her know that I've known this entire time and half the dorm does too. (She asked me a direct question and I almost never lie to her). She lost her shit. She's now mad at me for not saying anything all weekend and I'm like fuck I was just trying to be a good guy.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Tried to be a good guy and I went out of my way to be a bad guy. I really am the bad guy.","rejected":" I tried to be the good guy and got trolled"} {"prompt":"My coworker (I'll call him Alex) is a touchy feely guy. At first I didn't mind. Now I mind a whole lot. \n\nAlex will come up to me, and a few other female coworkers, and tickle us. 95% of the time it's unexpected and I don't even know he's coming up to me. It's always on my back, back of legs\/knees, arm, elbow areas- basically commonly ticklish areas. \n\nThe first few times it was funny. Then it got annoying. Then it got downright creepy. I started gently saying \"please don't do that.\" I'm not sure if Alex thought I was kidding or what?\n\nNow, even as I back away from Alex when I know he's about to do it, Alex corners me\/follows so he can tickle me. No lie.\n\nEarlier this week, I said \"do not touch me, Alex.\" The next day he was tickling me again. I said don't, and Alex just continued to try and touch me and mocked the way I said don't. \n\nI'm at my wits end. I am so uncomfortable, this makes me anxious, and I am starting to get nervous just being near him. Yes, I'm starting I get scared of my coworker. I honestly don't know though - maybe he thinks I'm kidding, maybe I'm not saying don't firmly enough. What should I do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Coworker tickles me regularly, I ask him to stop, he won't. I'm getting anxious and nervous being near him. Help!","rejected":" Coworker tickles me a lot, I've asked him to stop many times, but he won't and I'm starting to get nervous."} {"prompt":"So I was thinking today, I'm a good driver (over 1 million miles with no accidents), but I'm a total dick on the road.\n\n I gear down instead of hitting my brakes, so it comes off like I'm riding your ass but I'm just trying to save energy. On the other hand, I do ride close if someone is going excessively slow or not merging.\n\n I drive faster than the speed limit almost all the time, despite over 30 tickets for various minor traffic offenses. \n\nI slalom through traffic, if I deem it to be safe. But I do not sit in my lane waiting to merge, I do not sit behind a slow driver. \n\nI honk at pedestrians if I have the green light and they try to cross, and I don't yield for them. It's MY green light.\n\nI flash my high beams when someone is going slow in the left lane, to tell them to let me pass. \n\nI overtake cars on double yellow line roads (legal in my state). The most cars I've ever passed at one time on a 2 lane road is 6 (never felt unsafe for a second).\n\nBasically, as I said before, I'm just an aggressive driver. \n\nHaving said that, my car has a braking difference that's half of most production cars, 300 horsepower and 300 ft\/lbs of torque, so I can overtake quickly. \n\nSo am I a bad driver? Or just a total dick.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm a constantly aggressive and impatient driver, but my car is extremely powerful and can overtake many cars quickly. Am I a bad driver or just an aggressive driver? ","rejected":" good driver, but aggressive\/dick on the road, get lots of tickets, driving like a dick, wondering if I'm a bad driver or just a dick."} {"prompt":"Trying to keep this short, also apologies for spelling as this is all off my poor Nokia phone! \n\nBasically, I (18) met a girl on okcupid (22) . I have been on 4 dates with this girl and we got on great from the start and by the second date were acting as if we were a couple almost, the hand holding, kissing, cuddling etc. The problem is I have recently realised as much as i do like this girl the chemistry isn't there for me. Im not how i have been in previous relationships where at the beginning i cant stop thinking about them, or i skip a beat when her name appears on my phone ect. \n\nNow, i can tell this girl likes me alot and she has said so herself, and i worry that by continuing to see her (even though i do enjoy it and want to continue) , i may be misleading or leading her on as she may continue to like me more whereas i dont see my feelings increasing for her and i feel maybe i am simply continuing to see her as i don't have a lot of friends due to moving house alot, and i like having somebody to spend my weekends with. \n\nSo is it wrong or if were both having fun should i let it continue?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" meeting girl on okcupid, really like her but chemistry isn't there, worried i might be leading her on as i dont have many friends due to move, should i continue seeing her and\/or let it go?","rejected":" Been seeing a girl for 4 dates, we act like we are a couple but i don't feel the chemistry between us. Should i continue seeing her or cut things off?"} {"prompt":"I'm 20, this is new to me. My parents no longer work for the employer that provided the healthcare we had. My parents are more or less self employed, the healthcare was a perk for exclusively working with said employer. I'm now tasked with finding a health care plan for my family since my family trusts me with the decision (in other words, we don't have a fucking clue, but I'm the one going to college so I have to do it). \n\nInfo on my family: \n5 members . Mom & Pop both 40 yro. 20, 14, 5 yro boys.\n5 yro has asthma.\n20 yro has glasses (14 might need em)\nOther than that there are no other health problems. We really only need checkups (preventive medicine is the best!)\nSo how do I go about this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Parents aren't working for employer that provided free healthcare, I'm the one making the decision on what to do. Help me choose a health care plan!","rejected":" 20 yro with old healthcare plan. Need to find a new one for my family. How do I go about this?"} {"prompt":"Simple story, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, we were friends in high school, and we live together. He has a friend that he plays League with. I sometimes play with them, too, because I love my boyfriend and he wanted to play with me.\n\nHis friend (not my friend, his friend) called me a bitch today. I was immediately annoyed, muted him, and my boyfriend didn't say a thing. I told him then and there not to let somebody disrespect me like that. He didn't say anything for the rest of the game. We finished the game, I ignored him. I didn't know what to say or how to say it without seeing red.\n\nAbout 30 minutes ago, I told him again not to let someone disrespect me like that, and he said he didn't think it was a big deal, because his friend was joking. \n\nI don't give a fuck if his friend was joking or not, I don't like that and my boyfriend (who claims to love me) shouldn't either. He's been defending his friend that he's known for less than a year, and not even trying to see my side or apologize. I'm still angry as hell, so I cant tell if I'm overreacting or if I'm in the right. Please help.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" boyfriend didn't say anything when his friend called me a bitch. I told him not to let someone disrespect me like that. He still defends his friend despite me raising concerns. Am i the one in the wrong?","rejected":" Boyfriend didn't say anything when his friend insulted me. Am I in the wrong for being mad about it and not trusting his friend?"} {"prompt":"Hi *\n\nI've removed butter, ice cream and almost all bread, cereals and pasta successfully from my diet, while increasing my consumption of vegetables and whole foods. I have not yet found a good substitute for chocolate. I have decent self control and I've tried removing it from my diet, but, when I do this, I continue to crave it (even after not taking it for multiple weeks). I don't want to continue craving it, so do you have any suggestions for addressing this problem? I am more interested in substitutes than in eating less chocolate, because I still get the cravings if I simply eat less of it, so is there some healthy substitute that is compatible with getting thinner that you could recommend?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I have successfully removed most chocolate from my diet, but, when I do, I continue to craved it. What can I substitute for chocolate that would reduce the craving?","rejected":" removed butter, ice cream, bread, cereals and pasta from my diet, but continued to get the cravings for chocolate. Need a healthy substitute for chocolate."} {"prompt":"I'm a 22\/F with a 23\/M and we've been together for 2.5 years. Our relationship is loving and happy, and due to the fact that we live approximately 45 minutes away from each other (both living with our parents [embarrassing, but resources we're lucky to have]) have to restrict our visits to about 2 days a week. \n\nWe did the 2 days a week for a year and a half, then we got an apartment together for 6 months. When we lived together life was wonderful, and I couldn't ask for better. Due to various financial difficulties compounded by extreme family crises, we both moved back to our parents' homes until the crises were dealt with and we had enough saved up to move out again. The time to move out of my parents' house is coming up, I'm unsure if when I move back out it should be with him.\n\nIt has always been extremely important to me that I live by myself for at least a year, at some (relatively early) point in my adult life. My mom drilled in to me that you must learn to be alone in order to function well within relationships, and I think at this point I would feel like I had missed out on something major if I didn't experience living on my own soon. \n\nI've talked about this with my boyfriend and he understands\/encourages me to do what I need to do, but I don't want to move without him. So much of my relationship with him has been spent with strict limits on time that when the opportunity arises to live with him again I know I won't want to say \"No\". Plus, it just seems like a huge economic waste for us both to be paying for an apartment, Internet, etc. etc., when we could just be splitting the bill (our low incomes plays a role in my trepidation as well), when he moves to the same city I'm moving to.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" living with boyfriend but unsure when or if I should move back in due to financial\/emotional constraints. Do I wait to see how things pan out or do I move without him?","rejected":" long-term relationship with boyfriend of 2.5 years, moving to parents' house soon, unsure if I should move in with him soon\/when\/how to make financially sound decision without causing financial strain."} {"prompt":"Yeah, so I missed a call from him earlier. When I called back he said he'd call me back in a bit. So I'm farting around, looking for something to do. Watched TV in the basement for a short time and went back upstairs. I was chilling in my bed, messing with my phone when he called. He asked if he could run something by me and I asked if it was beer because I was out of beer. We decided that I'd just go over to his house so I could drink his beer and he could run something by me. When I went outside, I smelled something burning. Not just *something* burning, but it smelled like cigarette butts burning. I had recently smoked a cigarette on the back porch and outside the basement door, so I went to check. Nothing happening on the back porch, but there was a softball size glowing red wad of cigarette butts where I put my cigarette out about 10-15 minutes earlier. I realize now how unsafe our \"ash tray\" is now because it is just a flimsy plastic thing that a plant would come in, it was over stuffed with cigarette butts AND it was sitting in a bed of pine straw! So I grab the hose and easily extinguish this glowing butt fireball of death and breathe a sigh of relief.\n\nSo who knows what would have happened if I hadn't decided to go to my friends house at about that time. I would've come outside within the next half hour or so to smoke, an hour at the most and would have smelled it then if it was still smoldering. But like I said, it was a glowing ball of death in a bed of pine straw, so it could have easily ignited and then who knows what would have happened.\n\nOh, and my wife is out of town. Imagine making that call. Honey, umm, I uh, I burned the house down. *shiver* Can't even think about the fact that all 4 of my kids were home at this time.\n\nI will absolutely get a can of some sorts to put our butts in to reduce the risk. Should just fucking quit smoking.\n\nThanks dude. Oh, he was contemplating refininancing his house and wanted to discuss it with me.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Out of beer, friend calls at just the right time, I smell smoke outside, house was about to catch fire.","rejected":" My best friend and I smoke shit. I smoked a cigarette in our back yard and my friend's house caught fire. I think it was a cigarette butt."} {"prompt":"Hey all,\n\nNext month I will be looking to move in with my friend that works at the same location as me. I graduated last semester and this moving situation has been a long time coming. When I originally told my girlfriend about me potentially moving away (only an hour north from where I currently live) she was very angry that I did not ask her to live together first. She is still in University (which is an hour south of where I currently live) and plans on moving away to Graduate School afterwards as well (to another state). She also dorms at Uni, so I guess I assumed too much when thinking about this decision. When she was originally angry about it I looked up what the middleground would be for us to move in together instead. Both of us would have over an hour commute to school or work if we met exactly in the middle. She is also trying to save for graduate school because she will be paying for graduate school herself. Also her dorm is paid for by her scholarship. I understand that moving in together is the next step, and it would be amazing to live together and have that experience, but to me it made little sense economically. We can still see each other on the weekends, and she can even live there on the weekends rent free if she wanted. How do I come up with a solution to this issue with her? I am willing to compromise and come up with a solution (and my friend doesn't really care if we live together it just made sense to us because we will be working at the same place so we wanted to save some money). \n\nWe have been dating for approximately 1 year.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Moving away from home and girlfriend is mad that we did not come up with a living situation before I discussed it with my friend.","rejected":" Moving away for school and girlfriend is angry at me for not asking her to move somewhere together first. How do I come up with a solution in order to live together? "} {"prompt":"I'm currently in the Netherlands for a few months. Everyone over here uses a special Dutch debit card with a chip. Not having one makes life much much more difficult since some places don't accept cash (in euros) or American credit cards.\n\nAs a result, I opened up a Dutch bank account with ING. I have an account back in the US with Chase. Currently, Chase charges me a 3% fee + $5 when I take out money using an ATM. It sucks since I'm a student. What would be the cheapest way to move money from my Chase account to my Dutch account? I'd like to make transfers every few weeks. So far I figure my options are: 1) take out money from ATM every time using my Chase card (incur 3% + $5 fee) and deposit that into my Dutch account, 2) Wire transfer each time I want to move money over (I'm guessing this will be expensive-- anyone know Chase's rates?) 3) Write myself a check and deposit it in the Dutch account (Is there a fee for doing this?) Are there any other options?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Need to transfer money to my foreign account, Chase is expensive, what's the cheapest way to do it?","rejected":" Chase charges 3% fee + $5 when I take out money. How do I move money from my Chase account to my account in the Netherlands?"} {"prompt":"I'm 21 and my husband is 24. We have been married for 2 years. He's the greatest guy ever and I trust that he won't try to hurt me, but I feel like some of his actions overstep boundaries. \n\nSometimes he'll stay over at a friend's house - sometimes male, sometimes female - without telling me. I really wish he'd let me know beforehand, even just texting me before I go to bed would fix this. A lot of his female friends are really flirty and physical too. They constantly hit on him, even in front of me, and hug a lot. I'm really uncomfortable with this and I asked him to ask his friends to back off a little, but they haven't. Sometimes when I call or text him I won't get a response for 6 hours or more. Sometimes it might be a day or two before I hear back from him.\n\nI talked to one of my friends about this and she thinks he's cheating, but I don't. I know him better than anyone else and I know he wouldn't hurt me.\n\nIs there anything I can do? Like I said, these things all make me uncomfortable even though I know nothing is wrong. I've talked to him about all this and nothing has changed.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My husband stays over at female friends' houses and hits on them. I'm uncomfortable with this and asked him to put a stop to it. He doesn't listen.","rejected":" I'm uncomfortable with some of my husband's actions (hugging friends, not returning texts, etc). What do I do?"} {"prompt":"I scared off this guy I got really into 2 months.\nHe told me he's never had a gf before, and has never really fallen for a girl before.\nHe seemed into me but I was cautious, we hung out a few times, then we kind of accidentally plowed (I didn't mean to, but for the first time I got super drunk because I was nervous) in the back seat of my car, and after being talked to by the police under the suspicion I was going to drive (I wasn't we just left out friends house to be in my car) he confessed he actually likes me and invited me over for cuddles. He would say how \"unfairly adorable\" he thinks I am. At a friend big party, he stayed by my side and kept offering me water. One of his best friends said he's never seen him like that with a girl before and how \"weird\" it was to see him like a girl.\nAfter a trip to LA with him and his buddies, him and I got drunk at a friends house, my friend was being negative and said she think he isn't that into me, and I cried to his friend asking \"is he even into meee??!1\" :( ugh. That night he had me over again to watch movies, but after that he didn't message me. People we didn't even know that well would get in our business and ask about us to his face, too.\nI messaged him saying sorry everyone got in our business, and he said \"we should just be friends.\"\nI still see him occasionally and it hurts really bad. If he was once interested in me, surely he can be again?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" guy I really liked, seemed to want me, I scared him off by getting drunk, got drunk again to hang out with him, he doesn't seem interested anymore, why?","rejected":" got scared off by this guy, back to him? How to win him over again? or is he just a friend who likes me?"} {"prompt":"I (30f) have a friend (25f) and we have been pretty close the last 3 years. She was my maid of honor in my wedding and we hit it off right away quickly becoming best friends. \nThe last few months I have been noticing how incredibly toxic she is. Constantly saying she will do something and then fall through. I catch her lying and she denies it. When her love life is going well, I fall to the sidelines. \nWhen I bring things up to her that upset me she always turns it against me. She does this so often that I start to question if I really am a horrible person for being hurt that she is late, doesn't let me know she won't be able to come while I've been waiting, or being thankful enough. \nI need to find a way to end this relationship, but I worry as she deals with depression\/anxiety (as do I) and when another friend finally called it quits she told me how she contemplated sucide. \nI really just need an outside perspective on this as I've been struggling for awhile.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My best friend is super toxic and I want to end it, but I'm worried as she is depressed\/anxious and she said she has considered killing herself.","rejected":" My (30f) friend (25f) of three years is toxic and I need help figuring out a way to end things. She has a history of contemplating sucide."} {"prompt":"We dated for three years and we broke up three and a half years ago, and i've always had feelings for her still. We broke up as she was going through a rough time with her family, and we were fighting a lot, but I think we still loved each other deeply.\n\nWe met one night after she sent me a message telling me she missed me, and I replied say that I did too. When we met up, for some reason, she told me she wasn't ready to get back into a relationship which obviously upset me a lot.\n\nI remember telling her that she needs to commit, because eventually I would move on and land up loving someone else or even getting married.\n\nEventually I did meet someone else, who I have been dating now for 2.5 years. She is perfect in every way, literally ticks every box of something I am looking for in another person, but I just can't stop missing my ex, I never have.\n\nI know it's unfair of me to stay with someone if I had feelings for someone else, but honestly speaking I feel I would die alone if I had to go about it that way, I don't think i'll ever not miss my ex and want to be with her.\n\nIt sucks, because I always thought we would work things out, and now that door is shut. I am heartbroken.\n\nMy advice is if you can't stop thinking about someone, pursue them until it's too late.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Ex broke up with me 3.5 years ago because she was going through a rough time and needed space, we later started dating again but she said she wasn't ready to get back into a relationship. I had feelings for her, she said she wasn't ready and I can't stop thinking about her. I feel","rejected":" ex I have had feelings for, for 3 years, is engaged and I regret not pursuing her :("} {"prompt":"I need help reddit like never before, being a long time reader of this board I never thought I would be the one posting but this is the only place I feel like I can ask for advice..\n\nBackground: Me (30 M) and the girl (24 F) met over two years ago via mutual friends and we hit it off great, after a year we entered a relationship and just two months ago we moved in together. We have our differences and our little fights like everyone but really, everything has been wonderful, to the point where we were discussing marriage. \n\nBoth of us were raised in the foster system, I was removed from my household when I was 10, she was around 7 so we've always had this in common and been able to confide in one another about this. \n\nRecently: My biological father passed away which meant little to nothing to me since my foster father adopted me and has been absolutely great. However.. The woman I am with also received an invitation to the funeral because its her dad also.\n\nShes already packed up her things and is staying with her best friend. This situation is so screwed up I honestly didn't believe things like this could happen. I'm torn.. I really am, I felt like I loved this woman, I thought about our future together and now I don't know what the hell to do. We have crossed the line physically and when we tried to talk about it she broke down and started crying, she won't speak to me anymore.\n\nJust as more background.. Yes we have spoken about our pasts before, yes we have spoken about our parents but it has always been \"my mother was a druggie and my dad a drunk\" we have separate last names and to be honest I just NEVER considered it a possibility that we could be related. What the hell do I do? I honestly felt like I was in love and in one day everything has fallen apart.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm with a girl who is related to my mother and I'm worried what our future together could be like. I feel like I might be in the wrong after her father passed away.","rejected":" I am an accidental incestuous child, I have no idea what to do, I feel like a stranger in my own home"} {"prompt":"Well, last night we were hanging out with these guys we met (they were like 18-24) and we had a good time, except my sister was really wanting to talk to the guy that was 18. (well they did talk I guess, and we're hanging out with them later)\n\nI felt pretty bad because he just got out of a relationship (it was over a year according to his friend), and when he told us about it, he seemed like he was wanting to cry but he held back. So I just felt bad for him. And back home, she has a thing with a guy already? \n\nNormally I would just let her do her thing, but then I realized she doesn't even know what she wants with the relationships she has (she admits to liking her ex (she saw him a few weeks ago), while having a thing with someone right now (from what she tells me it seems like he wants things to get serious: ex. inviting her to meet his family for his birthday last week), and then wanting to start things with this guy? Like I just don't think it's right.\n\nJust so everyone's clear, I'm not jealous, I think its stupid, but I don't want to get flack for being an ass...\n\nShould I talk to her, or let things happen and not say anything.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My sister has a thing with someone already and wants to start something again with someone else, should I call her out or nah?","rejected":" My sister is (18f) and she's not really sure whether or not to interfere with her sister's relationship (20f)"} {"prompt":"My two are from movies called \"The Lady in White\", and \"It\" by Steven King. My parents are very lenient and allowed my sister and I to watch some creepy\/scary movies when were were kids. I'll tell you guys about my two creepiest parts.\n\n1) \"The Lady in White\"- So, for those who have seen this movie, there's a scene in which the young boy is \"watching\" this little girl's murder but he cannot be seen by anyone and neither can the killer. The part of the scene that always gets me is the part where the little girl in a albino white dress is literally a couple of feet off of the ground screaming bloody murder, being strangeld by an invisible assailant in a cloak room. This shit still scares the crap out of me and I will forever not go into a \"cloak room\"\/closet in a school simply because of that movie. *Also, there is a creepy as balls whistle song that goes on throughout the movie, still can't forget it and it's been over 10 years.\n\n2) The part in Steven King's \"IT\" where Pennywise shows up in the in the sewer to get Georgie and says \"Hey Georgie, we all float down here!\" No matter how much time goes by I'll always remember that statement and how freaked out I was when I saw it. To make people more familiar, I despise closed and disgusting spaces (sewer) and the whole evil clown thing makes me uncomfortable. *Also, the part where Georgie's photo starts to bleed in the book when his brother is looking at it. What the actual fuck?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" What are the creepiest scene(s) for a movie that still give you the goosebumps today?","rejected":" 1) Lady in White murder, choke seen and whistle and 2) Pennywise in sewer and Georgie's bloody photo"} {"prompt":"My fianc\u00e9 and I have been together for four years, he is the love of my life. Two years ago I was sure he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with and I thought I couldn't wait to have a baby with him, so I got pregnant. For a while everything was great, it wasn't perfect and we definitely had our problems but they were workable.\n\nThen, back in August I catch him talking to his ex girlfriend, nothing really inappropriate but I had asked him in the beginning of our relationship not to talk to her because it made me uncomfortable (they had just broken up 2 months before we started dating). We had a huge argument and he cried to me and swore he'd never do something to fuck up our relationship again. Then 5 weeks later his female friend has relationship problems and he lies to me and says he's staying late at school and can't pick our daughter up, so he can goto her house for an hour and help her, I guess. I caught him, he admitted everything but insists that nothing happened. I believe him, kind of.\n\nHere's the thing, I don't want to be with him anymore. I love our daughter so much though and I know that if I just tried, we could get through this for her sake. I also dug my own grave when I got pregnant because I set myself up to rely on his income. I feel like he's holding me back and like I'm holding myself back and quite honestly I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of fun things that people my age are doing and it kills me. I know now that we were no where near ready to have a child but I feel like it's my responsibility to stay with him and live out the life I've created for myself. Even if it means I having to be unhappy. \n\nWhat do you think I should do? Does anyone see a plan C?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" fianc\u00e9 is holding me back and I don't know what to do. Don't want to be with him anymore but I want to keep our daughter safe.","rejected":" I got pregnant and now my fianc\u00e9 is keeping me from my dream and I don't know whether to stay or go."} {"prompt":"Hey guys, I know this is is probably the oldest question in the book but to be honest I'm usually quite good at getting a read on people but this one isn't so easy.\n\nI [M\/20] Bumped into this girl [F\/20] I knew from a school (kinda drunk) suggested we meet for a chat sometime, eventually It happened conveniently when she had recently split with her boyfriend, we met up a few times, over the last few weeks had typical 'dates' and it all went so well. I was sure that she liked me.\n\nNow this may have been my error but I basically didn't beat around the bush after about 3 dates I asked her if she thought this would be a thing. She said that she just thought this was two friends hanging out, and didn't even give a relationship a thought. I said okay that's fine but I just wanted to let her know that if it were to get more serious then I'd be fine with that but equally I cherish this rekindled friendship (she hadn't long split from a 2 year relationship) and she said that we're good being friends.\n\nSince then we've met up a few times and it seems to be taking the form of dates again, I wouldn't call it 'just hanging out' and the way we chat has followed the pattern of every single girl I've ever dated and not at all like my female friends. \n\nAm I in the friend zone? Is she being coy about her feelings? How do I proceed?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I (M\/20) was sure a girl was interested in me (F\/20) when we first met up. After three dates I just asked her if she thought this was something more, she said she thought it was two friends hanging out. Over the last few weeks we've met up a few times and it seems like we're doing more than just hanging out. Am I friend zoned?","rejected":" Went on date with girl, she said 'just friends' but dates keep happening and it feels more serious"} {"prompt":"So, unlike most posts, this happened today. I figured it would make a good first post. \n\nA little background: I've been seeing my girlfriend, let's call her Sarah, so 4 months now, and we're both at uni. Sarah comes from a traditional 'no sex before marriage' family, but she doesn't seem to follow that rule. It was quite an important weekend as we're getting serious, and she wanted me to meet her parents.\n\nI took Sarah out for dinner yesterday, and we stumbled back to her uni flat (where I was staying that weekend) after a few drinks to well, you know ;)... First thing we did wrong: we forgot to lock the door... \n\nSo next morning, we woke up and when Sarah looks at her phone and starts to panic. It turns out she forgot to tell me her parents were due in half an hour. She jumps up and goes in the shower (her university has en-suites). A few minutes later I decide I should probably move, realising I didn't have much time, I got up, fully naked at this point, trying to find my bag to get some clothes on, when there's a knock at the door. I thought, stay quiet it'll be fine, & Sarah couldn't hear it over the shower. Next thing I know the door opens, time slows in my mind as I find her family (parents, and her 2 younger sisters aged 17 & 18) stood in the doorway staring at my semi-erect member... As awkward as this is it gets worse, Sarah then walks out the bathroom naked having forgotten her towel, to find me standing staring at the door in silence. She turned see what was there and well... I'm pretty sure she wanted to cry with embarrassment. \nHer family on the other hand, I'm sure her dad was ready to kill me, her mom and sisters were just staring at my body (what can I say? I'm quite well built ;) ).\nAfter an uncomfortable amount of silence, they said they'd be back later and closed the door... \n\nHow the hell do I get on with her family now!?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Was having serious relationship with girlfriend, failed at locking door, found her parents standing in the door way, naked, looking at my semi-erect member, awkwardness ensued. How do I get on with girlfriend's family now?","rejected":" Went to meet my girlfriend's parents, drunkenly forgot to lock door, saw her naked body as I was dressing, her family were standing in the doorway, awkwardness ensued. How do I get on with her now?"} {"prompt":"I (24f) have lived a very sheltered life,have been quite abused (in all categories), and struggle with many health issues. What I am beginning to see in not just my SO of 5 years but others is how different their characters are from mine. \n\nFriends, it does not really bother me much. I mean i sometimes trip out on what they say and their selection of words but I don't seem to judge them as much as my SO (obviously). \n\nI have been noticing that my SO, in various situations would do something that in my opinion would be morally wrong. The thing is, all of them are literally hypothetical. Like we would watch a movie or read about something and he would say, \"oh if that was me I would have totally done blahblahblah\". Usually the blahblahblah part is something that I find totally the wrong thing to do morally. \n\nI was raised in a very abusive household and yet i'd not hesitate to open doors for elderly, try to help out homeless, and I am not against the world at all. My SO is opposite but he is totally affectionate to me and it just seems like his words do not match his actions towards me and those who are close. \n\nShould I be worried about this? I understand everyone is different and I totally respect people for their choices but it just seems like my SO would be a villain in most hypothetical situations whereas, I would be a hero. \n\nHas anyone ever encountered something like this? Is it a red flag? I mean he has loved me through all my faults, disabilities and handicaps which I think takes someone special to do so. Also, he is not abusive or negative to me or anyone at all.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My SO is more of a Slytherin whereas i'd be in Gryffindor for lack of better example. His hypothetical choices scare me.","rejected":" People have said \"wow, you should try dating someone from your world\", but not many people (though some I know) really do from their world. Is it a red flag?"} {"prompt":"I am a 24\/F, my sister is 26\/F. Here is a small background on our relationship:\nOur entire lives we have fought. When we were younger it was fist fighting and as we got older it became more verbal. My sister is very manipulative, my parent even admit it. They have said, \"We don't know where we went wrong raising your sister.\" Regardless, they love her and deal with her shenanigans; mostly they because they usually aren't directed at them. Things in our relationship came to a head about a year ago and we had what I call a \"come to Jesus meeting.\" We said our issues, spoke our piece and agreed we wanted a relationship with each other and we would try to get to know each other on the adult level and have a clean slate in regards to our relationship. Since then, she hasn't changed. She uses my strong relationship and feelings of obligation towards my parents as leverage to try to manipulate me. She has hacked my email, puts her friends before me, talks trash about my husband and kicks me when I am down. She is constantly trying to find ways to be superior to me. The events that have happened recently are the straws that have broken the camels back. I feel I should sever ties because this relationship is no healthy and I don't deserve to be treated this way. My parents and my sister always expect I will just get over her drama, but I no longer wish to feed into the cycle. Severing ties will alienate me from my niece and nephew and will upset my parents, but I don't know what else to do. I have debated talking to a family counselor for suggestions. Any input or advice, especially from people who have dysfunctional sibling relationships would be greatly appreciated.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Relationship between sister and I has become unhealthy and I think I should sever ties to avoid causing more drama and pain. Need advice on what to do.","rejected":" My sister is a narcissist and treats me and our relationship like crap. I want to sever ties with her, but it will alienate me from her kids and will upset my parents."} {"prompt":"Hi \/r\/personalfinance. Sorry for the wall of text but I think it is important you know the situation.\n\n**Money Coming In**\nOver the summer I will be working as an aerospace engineer intern for an amazing company. I'll be making $18\/hr at 40 hrs a week, plus overtime at $27\/hr. At the beginning of the summer I will also get a $2,000 moving bonus. \n\n**Expenses**\nOver the summer the only expenses I will have will be gas, insurance, and money to spend on myself (. My mom happens to live in the town were I will work, so rent and all bills will be free (including groceries). I will probably spend around $35 on gas per week (for 11 weeks) and insurance will be a one time payment of $400. \n\nMy goal is to put money in some account, fund or what ever it will be to use when I graduate in (2017) as a down payment for a new car. \n\nBy my calculations (45 hrs\/week + bonus) I'll make around $11,000 this summer. I think I want to put $5K to $7k towards this fund. What's the best way to invest to have the highest return?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" 20 y.o. student, making decent amount of money this summer, want to put $5K to $7k towards a down payment on a new car. How do I do this well?","rejected":" wanting to invest $5K to $7K for 2-3 years and have highest return. Whats the best way to invest it?"} {"prompt":"Figured relationships would be a better sub than sex even though it's kind of centered around sex..\n\nI [20M] have a [15F] sister who I've always seen as innocent. Today I realized that even though I gladly know nothing of her sex life(existent or not) she isn't a 9 year old girl who doesn't know what sex is. I then started browsing Reddit and saw a post about how a dad had discovered his daughter pretty much riding her boyfriend. I thought about how not only our dad but a ton of dads are probably devastated that their \"little girl\" is having sex. At this point I was for some reason really angry and didn't know why. It then dawned on me that I was thinking about my future and if I were to catch my daughter in the act of sex I would probably punch a hole in the wall as to not make a scene...(Obviously kidding but would be really upset non the-less) \n\nNow I'm feeling guilty because if I had a son and I caught him having sex I'd be fine with it, maybe even a little proud. I'm feeling guilty because this is a huge double standard and at my current age, heck even when I was in high school I knew of plenty of girls who were sexually active and didn't see it as a big deal. I know I'm being completely irrational about this seeing as how I don't even have any kids, but I was wondering if anyone had any input on why I was getting so worked up over something that could be 25 years down the line? \n\nI think I'd be fine if I was kind of oblivious to it.. i.e. NOT walking in on my daughter doing cowgirl in my own home.. I'm not a violent person nor would I do anything to this theoretical kid having sexy times with my theoretical daughter, but if I were to see it happen I would just flip.. Any insight or experience dealing with the realization that your daughter is sexually active for when the future comes around?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Thought about catching my future theoretical daughter having sex, proceed to get upset out of thin air, now wondering if this is something that happens to all dads\/ what are ways to deal with the realization?","rejected":" I was extremely upset about my daughter having sex, but now realize I'm being irrational. Why is this?"} {"prompt":"So we just got back from visiting our family, before which I told his old work friends from home that we were visiting and to message my BF if they wanted to see him. \n\nWe were the for 3 weeks and nothing.\n\nWe get home and his ex work colleague, a 19F is having her birthday and has invited him to a birthday dinner...after a few messages back and forth saying how she wanted to do dinner and drinks, she finally said ''You should definitely come and your gf too\". Like he could bring me if he wanted to but probably better if I didn't come.\n\nSo he actually wants to do it. He wants to take time off of work, spend probably $100 on petrol and drive for 4.5 hours to see a girl who messages him probably once every 3 months. And if I mention a bad word about her, he gets mad and defensive, I feel like I can't even voice my concerns because if I say something bad I'll be the one who's done the wrong thing.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Ex colleague invites bf to birthday celebrations 4.5 hours away and I can't say anything about it. Am I being touchy or should I be mad?","rejected":" Me [22\/F] with my boyfriend of 4 years [23\/M] trouble with an ex work colleague"} {"prompt":"[This is a video of what we're trying to achieve.](\n\nMy school currently has a Sony HVR-HD1000u, and compared to that, our videos are nowhere near as good. I understand that things like lighting and color correction play a pretty big role, but even then I feel like our videos are never that clean. I usually can't get 720p clips out of our camera and the slow motion that they have is something we can't even come close to.\n\nOne possible *problem* is that for some reason we can't use firewire to connect the camera to the computer so we have to play the tape on this thing that basically plays it and then we capture the tape playing. I feel like this is probably a huge problem because it's like trying to show a friend a movie by screen-capping from Skype.\n\nSO, should we scrap the HVR-HD1000u and get a Canon T2i (a cheaper DSLR which from the samples I've seen on YouTube and clips from that video, seems pretty high quality), or continue trying to use the Sony?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" To get music video quality, would it be better to use our Sony HVR-HD1000u or buy a Canon T2i? Or something else entirely (<$800)?","rejected":" We have a Sony HVR-HD1000u camera and we want to upgrade to a Canon T2i."} {"prompt":"[Original Post](\n\nTurns out it wasn't a \"date\". So no-go on the physical contact\/ kiss lol. So we met at the dining hall, she grabbed a booth, and we sat down and all. She then excused herself and invited a friend(male) to come sit with us who was sitting alone. Then a moment later, another friend of hers(girl) came to sit with us. I'm confused as to why she did this- instead of wondering why, getting back up and going back out there. Talked with her and her friends, but I distanced myself from the conversation thinking it would just be us two. The previous 3 dates it was just me and her, exception to one meeting on V-Day where her friend joined us for lunch. But anyway, First time dating a girl overall- first time ever in college, it's been good, gained some confidence and I could apply that to the next girl out there. No one said it was easy unfortunately. I'll keep the window open, but the chase with them ends. \n\n*Thought about it: might ask her where we stand, dating over a month, could be she might want me to get me to meet her friends?- I'm probably overreacting.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl who has been interested in me invites friends to sit with us for our first date- confusing as to why she did this and worried it was a sign she wants to see me hang out with her friends.","rejected":" Met girl at the dining hall, invited friend to sit with us, then another friend. Didn't meet before so was confused."} {"prompt":"I knew this person in high school and we were both interested in each other. It never worked out although I have had dreams about this person ever since (8 years of dreams). They aren't sexual dreams, but this is really, really wearing on me. In the dreams I am very happy to be with her and when I wake up I am devastated. The worst part is that I am currently in a relationship and know that this other girl is single. I went for lunch with her a little over a year ago to see how she was doing and we seemed to both enjoy ourselves. I have not pursued this relationship because I am in a fairly good relationship and feel delusional thinking this \"dream\" relationship could work out.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I am in a relationship and I have had a dream about this other girl for a long time. I don't know what to do.","rejected":" I am in love with a person who I have had dreams about for years and have not been able to pursue it."} {"prompt":"So I created an ad on Facebook for a new business that I'm trying to get off the ground. I started at $100\/day. 3 days later I've got $3,000 worth of charges on my debit card. \n\nI called Facebook to ask them what was going on and they basically didn't want to hear a word I had to say. Their whole attitude was \"deal with it\". My new business received NO new traffic from them during the time when the ads were supposed to have been active (and I've got the analytics data to prove it) let alone **$3,000** worth! I disputed the credit card charges with my bank.\n\nSo what did Facebook do? They deactivated my PERSONAL Facebook account. Don't get me wrong, I'm not someone who thinks that Facebook is the only thing to do online, but it does have merit. I had (have?) something like 700 Facebook friends and losing track of them would be a true-to-life bummer.\n\nI called Facebook again asking about the deactivation of my account and they said (summarized), \"Remove the disputes for the charges and we will reinstate your personal account.\" FUCK YOU!\n\nI am comparatively NOT concerned about my personal Facebook account compared with 3 grand and I don't see why they're doing either of these things, but I'd like more input.\n\nWhat say you, reddit? Is this blackmail? Have any of you dealt with Facebook in this capacity? Are there any tips\/tricks\/sites you could recommend?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Facebook is holding my PERSONAL Facebook account hostage because I disputed $3,000 worth of advertising that never happened. Facebook says to remove the dispute and they will reinstate my account. Is this blackmail?","rejected":" Facebook is holding my PERSONAL Facebook account hostage because I disputed $3,000 worth of advertising that never happened. Is this blackmail? Any advice\/ideas for getting my account back?"} {"prompt":"We've been together for 5 months.\n\nI've always been on the skinny side. I was pretty much anorexic growing up. I skipped lunch to save up lunch money. And I'd skip meals to play games instead.\n\nHalfway through college, I wanted to change. I hit the gym and started eating right. I put on 30 lbs and look much better.\n\nAnd then I met my girlfriend. She's my first. I felt like all my hard work finally paid off.\n\nHowever, any time I miss meals or haven't worked out in a while, I'd get insecure. I'd feel small and skinny. I'd look visibly smaller in the mirror even though my friends assure me I haven't lost weight.\n\nAnd when I get insecure, I get clingy. I feel afraid my girlfriend will leave me for being scrawny. And the insecurity doesn't help to keep her around.\n\nI don't have time or money for a therapist.\n\nWhat can I do to fix myself?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I have self-image issues. It's making me insecure, which is causing problems with my relationship with my girlfriend.","rejected":" My girlfriend has self-esteem issues and I'm hanging on to her to get the confidence I once had. How can I get over it?"} {"prompt":"Hi Reddit, so this sounds kind of pathetic issue but I have no idea to do. I am dealing with an 8 year old child who absolutely adores me who is my exes little brother. Whenever I would go over to his parents' house he would want to play with me. He really likes me and he would always ask when I was going to Marry his brother. He would always show me his work from school and ask for my help. He has two other sisters who adore him as well, I always noticed they like their little brother a lot more than they did my ex. My ex and his sisters do not get along at all \n\nMy ex and I broke up because he cheated on me when he went on a business trip to Las Vegas (probably another lie he told). His excuse was \"I had to get some pussy somewhere\". He was gone for a week and we had sex twice on the day he left. So if he can't save sex for a week then I don't know what to tell you. \n\nHis brother keeps texting me from the home phone (it's the household cell phone, it is there for someone to call home if that makes sense). He asks me when am I coming over to play, when are we going to play video games again. The whole deal and I feel really bad for ignoring him. He really likes me and I would love to hang out with him\/babysit him again sometime. That would mean having to potentially see or talk to my ex and I can't stand him. I can't stand the sight of him. \n\nHow do I deal with this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" little brother of my exes keeps texting me asking when I am coming to hang out again. I don't want to be mean to the kid but I can't stand my ex. How should I handle this situation?","rejected":" 8 year old exes little brother keeps texting me asking when I am coming to hang out again. I can't bring myself to see or talk to my ex at all."} {"prompt":"We've only known each other that well a month but we got along very well, he was very chatty. The topic came up of what was the worst things we've done, he said he used to watch child porn a few years back and that he is still into bestiality. But he shows little remorse over it other than that it's an illegal thing. So I ended the relationship, but in the interim I had slept with him (before knowing). I didn't want to be judgmental, I wanted to think he could be redeemed and that so long as he wasn't directly harming anyone that it'd be okay, but it's not. I feel so much disgust now. \n\nI seem to keep finding guys like this, who tell me how they want to murder people or hurt people and all of this dark, dark stuff. I don't understand, most people tell me that I come off witty, funny and light-hearted. The only thing I can think of is that people tend to find me understanding and easy to get into an intense conversation with.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" guy I dated for a few weeks, found out he used to watch child porn and was a bestiality fetishist. Feel disgusted and like I keep finding guys like this. Any advice?","rejected":" Guy I was going to get involved with told me he used to watch child porn and bestiality and I don't know how to react."} {"prompt":"I have a friend of the opposite sex that Ive known for almost 10 years. Full disclosure- we did hook up drunk, ONCE, like 9 years ago. And we kissed a few years ago when we were both single. And again, drinking. Besides that we have stayed friends. We only live 10 minutes apart, but because I have an SO and we know were both attracted to eachother, we dont hang out. \n\nI have been with SO for less than 2 years. Is it wrong to want to keep my best friend, even though we are kind of attracted to eachother? This is my absolute best friend that I tell everything to. I have not\/would not cheat on my SO. I dont hide the friendship from my SO. (And yes, SO knows that we hooked up once, and that kissed a few years ago.)\n\nI have heard people say its emotional cheating if you would rather talk to someone other than your SO. Is this always true? This friend understands my awkward social stuff, morbid and generally inappropriate sense of humor, and reddit obsession. \n\nI dont think about the friend super sexually... but I do smile like an idiot when I think about them. And we do talk every day. More than either of us talk to anyone else. Is this just a normal *grown up* way to feel about a best friend and Im worrying too much and being a weirdo because they are the opposite sex and society says thats bad??\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Is it okay to want to stay friends with someone who you may be attracted to? I am an awkward socially awkward person who needs some advice.","rejected":" buddy stubbornly postponees hangout citing LTR reasons every time despite obvious attraction to eachother??? negatively effecting bonding potential romantically and socially thoghtwise? want change this dumbass shitty policy of mine please help pls"} {"prompt":"Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 7 months now, and it has been a blast since the very first day. We basically went from rather good friends to an amazing couple without any awkwardness or friendzone-y (?) problems. Because of this, we are both pretty much convinced that we have found \"the one\".\n\nHowever, I recently learned that she is rather envious of my past girlfriends, my last ex in particular. As far as I can tell, her main concern is that I have been intimate in the same ways with them as I have been with her. She can't quite seem to grasp the idea that with her, everything is very much different. Sexual acts are much more meaningful, if that makes any sense, than they were before. \n\nAdditionally, she has a hard time processing the idea that I, at some point, loved and cared for them too in the same way as I care for her now. I tend to be a little \"overly-attached\" at times, so I can't really object to this statement. It is not entirely impossible that I care for her the way I do simply because it's in my nature.\n\nHowever, I am positive that I have never been in love with anyone as I have been with my current girlfriend, and wouldn't want it all to end because of this. I have consoled her the best I could, but I'd rather keep it from you redditors. This way, it might be easier to come up with an objective advice.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend is envious of my past relationships, particularly my last one. She can't seem to understand that my current relationship is much more meaningful and intense than any of my previous ones. Need advice.","rejected":" My girlfriend is envious of my past relationships and can't seem to understand why I am not in love with her the way I am with her."} {"prompt":"My current g\/f (she is 24) of 5 years and I (am 28 turn 29 in Jan) are living together. She works in the financial business at a call center and I work at a engineering company designing and building plants. I am a recent grad and got a job here in the town she grew up in and where we both went to college. We have been talking and I told her at some point I will prob wind up in the field or will move to a job site for awhile to gain experience to advance. She straight up said if your career means that much to you then go. She refuses to leave our area b\/c of family. I then asked what if I go to field and come home every other weekend or every weekend if it is close enough (a bunch of people do that in our office) and she said no, she doesn't do long distance relationships. She called me selfish and I should want to be with her. I tried to explain at some point I will need to go to advance my career and I cant work at the same job and the same area my entire life and her response was just find another job in the area. She responded we can't just get married and buy\/build a house and just turn around and sell it, that it makes no sense we might as just rent. I am not looking to move nor do I want to really atm. If I do I want to come back to the area eventually. I just feel if the opportunity for a better job or good experience was come along in a different area i should be able to take it or at least discuss the options at the time and have the ability to maybe take it but she is basically say no now. I know it is kind of hard to play the what if game but feel this is something we would talk about before we think of marriage which i have been thinking about.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" oneday my job i might need to move for work but g\/f basically says i refuse to leave the area no matter what.","rejected":" Gf says if your career is so important to you then you shouldnt be living in the same place as family. Says if you want to leave you have to find something new and move."} {"prompt":"I've been in a relationship with this new guy for 2 months and at first things were spectacular--we were hanging out constantly, sending each other cute texts all day, and all over each other when we were together.\n\nAfter about 3 weeks, I noticed a sharp decline. He now takes hours to text me back, is quite a lot less flirty with me, and isn't as motivated to hang out with me. All the cute kissy face emojis are gone. It's kind of a huge red flag for me, as it just dropped off so fast!\n\nTo make matters worse, he accidentally showed me some pictures on his phone of his ex. There were so many of them! But he ended up breaking up with her within 3 months and from the way he explained it, she got mad at him for not wanting to spend as much time with him. Makes me wonder if he and I are going down the exact same road--him getting super excited and all over me, then dropping off, until eventually things are no longer working. \n\nWhat do you guys think? Is this normal behavior or should I be concerned?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" boyfriend of two months is significantly less flirty \/ all over me as he was when we first started dating and it really bugs me.","rejected":" My [25F] BF [25M] of 2 months is way less flirty with me than he was when we first met."} {"prompt":"Sorry for horrible writing. Not my best work, but I'm tired and I'm about to go to sleep.\n\nI go to a small highschool only for freshman (Also known as a ninth grade center) and There's this girl that caught my eye. I don't know her name because I don't have her for any classes, but we see each other every morning and make eye contact, but never talk. In fact, I don't think I've seen her talk with anybody before. She's bilingual so I'm starting to wonder if bad English is the reason why or if she has no interest in meeting anyone or if she's mute or other reasons. I'm over thinking this, but to explain why I'm over thinking this I should talk about myself a little and continue.\n\nI'm a shy guy.. Like a really shy guy with anxiety and shit i don't want to get into, but I've never really had a lot of friends hardly any my entire life, and always was insecure about myself and didn't want to bother anybody with my presence so yeah I basically am a mess with few friends and I'd like to meet this cute girl and Maybe ask her out if she seems interested.. Though there is a bit of a problem. School is about to end and I can only see her in the mornings for a couple minutes and I feel like I wouldn't have time to introduce myself enough to make her feel comfortable enough to exchange social media to talk outside of school so I don't know what to do or what to say or how to even get the courage to walk up to her, introduce myself and Strike up a conversation without messing up or worse.\n\nAny ideas or tips or like suggestions on what I should say or how to uh basically not fuck up.\n\nP.S highly unlikely but paranoid she's reading this.\nP.S.S. throwaway because I'm ashamed that I'm making this because of a simple situation when most things on this thread are serious..\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I want to ask a girl out, but I don't have much time to spare and I don't know what to do or how to approach her","rejected":" See cute girl, Want to meet her, Asking reddit for help on what to say or how to have courage because I'm a pathetic loser."} {"prompt":"Me and my ex have been broken up now for about 3.5 years. About 3 months ago she re-established contact and things were going great, but she started getting mad at me when I couldn't talk because I was at work or busy with other things, so I cut contact again.\n\nIn the last week she has left her fiance, and texts or calls me regularly; at present I am just ignoring them. But now she left me a message saying she is planning a trip to come visit me. We live across the country from each other.\n\nI know I still love her, and that I probably always will, but I just don't know what to do in this situation. I would love to see her, but I think that whatever happens it will end up hurting one or both of us. I can not see a future where we can be together, no matter how much I want that.\n\nDo I re-establish contact to tell her don't come? What if she still comes? Do I embrace what shes doing? I am at a complete loss.\n\nAny help or suggestions are appreciated\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Ex has been re-establishing contact recently, just want to know if I should re-establish contact to tell her don't come, or make whatever plans I can to see her?","rejected":" Ex who lives across the country from me is coming to visit me - Need advice\/help reestablish contact or embrace whatever shes doing?"} {"prompt":"My partner's cousin, E, often invites us over for dinner. This is a very nice gesture and we have been many times. I like to spend time with E and her family. The problem is that my boyfriend B and I have gotten explosive diarrhea from E's meals on more than one occasion.\n\nIt has happened at least 3-4 times now and we are starting to see the pattern. E doesn't seem to have a very good understanding of safe food handling. For example, I have seen her serve appetizers to people when they have been sitting out for several hours. Also I once saw her leave some steaks on the counter for almost 4 hours (!!!) before cooking them. I know that it is good to let steak rest at room temperature for a short time before cooking them, but definitely not for 4 hours! Both me and B have had the shits so bad from E's meals that we have had to miss work. It doesn't seem as though E, her husband [29m] or kids [3&5m] ever really get sick like we do, perhaps they are just used to it.\n\nI really don't know how to approach this issue. We do not want to stop hanging out with E and her family because they are good friends (not to mention B is related to them of course). It is really nice of her to always be inviting us for dinner and I don't know how we can tell her about this issue without sounding rude.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Partner's cousin and her husband frequently invite us over for dinner, one time we have gotten sick from eating at their house. How do we tell her without seeming rude?","rejected":" B and I have gotten diarrheal shits from partner's cousin's meals. How do we tell her about it without sounding too rude?"} {"prompt":"Alright so here is the situation, and it is very strange.\n\nThis girl my roommate works with came over to the house a few weeks ago drunk and hysterical after she broke up with her boyfriend and gave him 180 dollars, her bridge card, and a credit card she said was \"paid for\". She also gave another friend at the house 200.\n\nShe said she was dying and that she wanted them to spend everything as she wasn't going to need it.\n\nNow after this happened she promptly left and me and my roommate went and filled up my gas tank with the credit card and went to the super market and bought food and stuff for the house.\n\nWe ended up using about 130 dollars on the card and it was maxed out, now my roommate came up to me about a half hour ago and told me money was back on the card and he wants to go to the store and max it out again....the first time I thought wasn't the greatest idea and I told him I didn't really think it was a good idea to use it again.\n\nHe told me it was fine since she gave him permission but that her dad had been calling him and trying to get a hold of him and he hasn't responded. \n\nNow I DEFINITELY do not want to be involved in anything with this credit card.\n\nSo my question is, the card is in the girls name...my roommate is going to stupidly keep maxing it out every month even though I told him it might be credit card fraud...and I think her dad might be footing the bill for everything. \n\nShe gave him permission....I don't think hes talked to her since, so my question is would you guys see what hes doing as credit card fraud? How dangerous is this? Should I stop him, or just not get involved?\n\nAlso, am I guilty of anything even though when I was participating in use it was directly after this girl had given us permission?\n\nThanks in advance!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" roommate got drunk and gave us credit card from another girl and maxed it out, and now wants to keep maxing it back despite me telling him not to. Not sure if I'm involved or not.","rejected":" roommate keeps maxing out credit card for girl friend who gave him permission. thinks hes committing credit card fraud. wtf do i do?"} {"prompt":"Short backstory, I left my last job for this newer one due to a shorter commute and better shift (off in the afternoon vs evening). I agreed to switch with a coworker so she could go to school, but never agreed to switch forever.\n\nBasically, working late is not something I signed up for or want to do. I'm already quite sick of it after about a month, and it generally does not work for my sanity. I assumed that when she was not in school, I would have my hours back, but she's already talking about switching it up for good or \"switching a day\" with me while she's on break from school. I know she may want these hours permanently, but I got hired with the agreement that the early shift was mine. I've tried communicating with her and trying to be clear, however she has been guilting me about it. I'm pretty soft spoken and try to avoid any sort of drama, so it's been hard to really stick up for myself. I fear that if I am making a big deal about it that I'll be seen as a troublemaker and inflexible. \n\nI do want to talk to my boss about it to set things straight about what I need my schedule to be when she's not in school (i.e., spring break, summer) but don't really know how to bring it up without sounding needy or petty. I also know it's going to piss off my coworker to talk to my boss, and with my social anxiety I don't even know how to handle the backlash. :(\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Coworker wants to switch schedules with me, I agreed but never agreed to switch forever and have no idea how to broach it without sounding needy or petty.","rejected":" Coworker wants to switch shifts with me permanently over summer, I got a new job in the morning but agreed to switch with her in the afternoon. How do I tell her I don't want her to switch me in the future without sounding needy?"} {"prompt":"I wanted the internets opinion because my co-worker and I argued at length about this and got nowhere. \n\nSo guy meets girl and they exchange numbers, talk and flirt all that jazz. They keep trying to organise a date but both are really busy. She suddenly decides to comes cover to guys house late one night, stays the night because he lives close to her work. They have sex. \n\nNow my question is can they go back to being a cute and trying to arrange a date and get to know each other or is she now a fuck buddy?\n\nMy view is she is now a fuck buddy. My co-worker says if he is really keen on her he will still take her out on a date because now he knows he will definitely get some. I think he is just saying that just because.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My co-worker and I argued about whether girls can go back to the getting to know phase once you have had sex. Can they go back to being cute and trying to arrange a date?","rejected":" girl with male exchange numbers but decide to have sex late one night. effecting whether she wants to go on date or fuck buddy? should she? wat do? advice please? help pls"} {"prompt":"I'm a generally friendly person and I get bored at school, so I like to have conversations with people. However, more often than not, I don't want to date the person or even hang out with them in \"real life\". I am very particular about the people I want to be friends with or date and I'm very observent of people's behavior and know fairly quickly what sort of relationship I'd want with the person. I can have a great conversation and have a lot in common with the person but feel no burning desire to hang out with them outside of a school setting. My problem is that a lot of the time people seem to misunderstand my intentions and mistake my friendly behavior as being interested in them (guys) or wanting to hang out with them. Personally, I get **really** irked if a person I talk to assumes that I'm interested in them and tries to pursue me, as a result of their pursuit, I usually end up avoiding them or ignoring them. Am I just being weird? If so, how do I fix it? and how do I know what \"vibe\" I'm giving off? So I can be more careful in the future.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I generally like people but get annoyed\/annoyed when people misinterpret my friendly behavior as being interested in them. How do I know what \"vibe\" I'm giving off?","rejected":" I can have a great conversation and lots in common with no intention of ever talking to that person again and get annoyed when they misconstrue my behavior."} {"prompt":"So my housemate and buddy has been dating his girlfriend for about 3 years now, pretty much the only girl he's ever had in his life so she's a pretty big deal, but they recently decided to go on a break because she wasn't 'feeling it' anymore.\n\nWhile they were on the 'break' he decided to go to a party for one of our friend's birthdays, and she got upset that he didn't invite her. Apparently she was so upset she decided to go out and have sex with some random dude.\n\nShe admitted to doing it right after and she's apparently very apologetic about it, but the whole situation's got my buddy pretty torn up. He can't decide if it's worth ending everything they have over this, and he also blames himself for not inviting her to the part initially, which isn't very good for him IMO.\n\nNow I know this sub is usually for people directly dealing with issues like this, and I definitely don't have as many details as you guys might like, but I really suck at helping people out with stuff like this and he's coming to me to talk about it. Anyone got any advice for a friend trying to help another friend deal with something like this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" trying to help a good friend deal with a break-up, suck with this kind of stuff, wondering if there's anything I can say that might do any good.","rejected":" Friend's broken up with his girlfriend, she got really upset when he didn't invite her to a party during the break, is he justified in ending the relationship over this?"} {"prompt":"Throwaway because he's an avid redditor and I don't want there to be any connections to me or my other friend whatsoever. We were at his house playing on Steam and while he was in the bathroom we went to the search bar to find the title of another game. It was then that we saw an endless list of sexual teen... everything. I know there's a lot of barely legal porn out there but the searches implied the he was looking for something more. But, neither of us feel comfortable going through his private info and we're confident if we asked him directly of course his answer will be no. \n\nWe were thinking of making a fake profile and seeing if we \"revealed\" ourselves to be underaged in a conversation he would still try to get with the fake girl. The way we see it is, if he bites, it'll suck that we have a friend who's sort of a pedophile but we'll have something to go to the police with. If he doesn't bite then the worst thing that can happen is that our friend is just really REALLY into hairless college girls. \n\nI've never catfished before so I don't know where to even begin finding images and such, but whatever. What do you think?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" We think our friend might be into the wrong kind of teen porn and we were thinking of catfishing him to confirm.","rejected":" I think a friend of mine might be into teens. Another friend of mine suggested we \"catfish\" him. I'm not sure whether or not to take it."} {"prompt":"This just happened 20 minutes ago... \n\nBackground: I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, on and off. I am 12 weeks pregnant this coming Monday. I thought my boyfriend was my best friend. \n\nAnyway, prior to this fuck up I was having a good night with my boyfriend and some friends. We took a selfie. I asked him to send it to me, but he was intoxicated and forgot. Fast forward to him passing out at my house I grab his phone and go to his messages. I forward the selfie, but... I let curiosity get the best of me. Ended up reading a bunch of messages. Boy, I wish I hadn't... \n\nNot only is he cheating on me, he flirts with multiple girls and he wishes a girl named \"Starr\" was his and in my place. His gallery is full of nudes he's been sent or saved from girls profiles on Facebook... \n\nSo, I'm pregnant with his child and I'm fucking hurting. I'm back to questioning my insecurities when I was just getting over them. Yeah. I'd say I fucked up hard, guys.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm pregnant and my boyfriend is cheating on me and he's been flirting with girls on Facebook.","rejected":" I was just feeling better about myself after my miscarriage and I got curious about my boyfriend's phone. I ended up reading his texts and found out he was cheating on me."} {"prompt":"How do you break up with someone if they are the only person you've been close to in the past 4 years, if they have a shit family or no place to really call home? I am afraid I will ruin him. I can't think of life without him yet I feel we are toxic to each other.\n\nMy parents do not approve of him, say he brings nothing to the table for me and that I am not responsible for his life. It has put so much strain on our relationship throughout the years and I have found myself exhausted. Their strict rules have also been extremely troublesome\/stressful for us and I am often pushed to my limits in order to maintain a balanced relationship between family and bf but more often than not one of them suffers.\n\nI do not know if I'm trying to make things work between us because I feel guilty and responsible for him, or if I'm just afraid of what will happen if I let him go, or if we are actually meant to stay together and work through these hard times. Things have escalated in the past few weeks and this fate has become more imminent than ever. His unstable living situation is putting so much stress on the both of us. We have dealt with distance for the past 3 years horribly. I play a division 1 sport in college and have a ridiculous schedule while he has not been able to hold down a job for more than two months because of unfortunate variables relating to his shitty living situation. It will be a huge pivoting point in both of our lives if things end but I feel as if we are stuck in some awful loop of shitty circumstance and I do not know how to get out of it.\n\nI'm sorry if this sounds pathetic this is the first time I've tried writing this. I really have no one to talk to and am in desperate need of advice. \n\nI am at my wits end. He is so important to me and I just want to do what will be best for both of us in the end.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Bf and I have been together for almost 4 years, constantly fighting with family + unstable living situation, would like to break up but unsure of how to go about it. How to proceed?","rejected":" I am in love with my boyfriend but his unstable living situation is putting strain on both of us and I have no idea how to break up with him or what to do to save the relationship."} {"prompt":"I (30f)found out my boyfriend (34m) of 4 months opened an online dating profile about two months after we because exclusive. I was devastated and am freaking out. He just told me he loves me a week ago and I feel the same. We get along amazingly. He is the first man in years I have felt a true honest connection with. We made conscious mutual decision to be together exclusively and detailed all online accounts etc. He suggested em make it fb official etc. He is never super protective Iver his phone. \nHe is under a lot of stress with work and an ill parent. Thins moved pretty quick with us. He has met all my family etc. Hr is divorced and has been cheated on but (says) he has never chested. \n\nI confronted him and he said he dosent use the account. He has never really engaged in it but just browsed. He knew it was wrong and stored but never deleted it. He also said that he was watching porn and then wants to browse POF because that is what he had done previously. He told me I'm very caring and amazing and done nothing wrong. He wants to be with me and loves me. He wants this to work. He is deeply sorry and didn't want to hurt me. There also had been a lack of sex in the relationship which he states is due to stress\n\nI'm town. Ita still a new fresh relationship and I've been told when someone shows you are the first time to believe them. But then again he has been through alot and crests it a couple months ago. I don't knoe how to feel or what to do or how to handle it. Please help!!!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" boyfriend had online dating profile I didnt know about, made us exclusive. says he loves me but is very stressed and doesn't want to hurt me. need help on how or if I should pursue it further.","rejected":" boyfriend had an online dating profile that I didn't know about. he never used it. wtf do i do?? help???"} {"prompt":"So for some back story, I was in my first year of highschool and all I did was sit at home and watch various YouTube channels (I had no life). I was very socially awkward and never knew what to say when made fun of or when something unexpected happened. So here I am in math class on my phone watching FilthyFrank. My teacher was fairly strict and ends up taking my phone and sending me to the front of the class. Now.... Our school has many types of foreign exchanges every year, students from all over the world come to our school. So trying to make light of the situation thinking that people will understand my filthy frank reference, I said \"JEEZ IT SURE SMELLS LIKE PAKISTAN UP HERE\". Funny right? False. Everyone looks shocked, so I look around and notice that there are three students sitting behind me. 2 of which are wearing turbans.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" immature 14 year old (me) got sent to front of class. Said it smells like Pakistan, 2 students with turbans behind me","rejected":" In math class, made a filthy frank joke about the smell of Pakistan, 3 students wearing turbans heard it and were offended."} {"prompt":"Long time lurker, first post ever. I'm looking for a bit of help trying to figure out if this potential job is legitimate. Regardless of my desperation, I'm typically rational when it comes to making big life decisions but last week, I received an email from a recruiter about a potential \"Project Management\" position from a VC from Delaware and all I had to do was apply on their website if I was interested. I was already sketched out but 2 things checked out: 1. Recruiter had a corporate email and 2. The website seemed really legit, so I thought that it wouldn't hurt to apply. There was no financial information requested, only my address and phone number as well as my references.\n\nOn Monday, I received another email, asking to schedule a phone interview. At this point, a lot of emotions take over and I request for a call at their soonest availability. The next day, I receive the call right on schedule by a female with a heavy Russian-ish accent. I was asked a couple basic questions like my typical workday and my career goals. It was very brief, 8-10 minutes but I immediately felt that I was being scammed. After the phone call I do even more research and found that the site has been active for only 21 days.\n\nToday, I got an email about the next step from a Sr. in Human Resources. Attached was a contract for a one-month paid training which is apparently a part of their \"screening process\" before they decide to hire full time. Again no financial info was asked from me, just e-sign the document.\n\nThe document says that the corporate address is in Kowloon and I haven't been able to find ANY contacts on linkedin but they included a bunch of address for the new office in Los Angeles. I'm going to call all the numbers to see if I could speak with anyone. How should I go about all of this to find out if this is a real job and also a what is the best way to protect myself if it isn't?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Received an email about a potential job offer from a VC from Delaware. Everything checked out except the address. I'm looking for ways to find out if this is legitimate and what is the best way to protect myself if it isn't","rejected":" Got a paid offer for training, can't find any info on the company but they've passed every test I know on typical job scams. What should I do to check and\/or protect myself?"} {"prompt":"I have some money from a former employer that was put into a 401k through Fidelity. Long story short (partly because I'm not sure what the complete story is) the money in the 401k got moved to a cash account and was doing nothing but sitting there, and I want it doing something.\n\nBoth my father and grandfather have accounts with Wells Fargo, plus Wells Fargo has a location in my town with advisers. So I figured this would be the way to go, I have family that seems to like them, and I can actually go in and talk to someone in person.\n\nAfter a hassle of them seemingly not knowing how to transfer the money from Fidelity, I get to talk to the adviser, and he basically just suggests a mutual fund through American Funds, and seeing that I'm 31 years old recommended an aggressive plan (which is at least one thing that makes sense). He gives me some pamphlets about American Funds, mentions that payment is a rate of 5.75%, and basically sends me on my way.\n\nIn trying to understand all of this, I came here and started reading through the info provided. I'm seeing that apparently Vanguard has much better expense ratios and potentially no loads, so I'm starting to think I should get out of Wells Fargo asap. It's frustrating not entirely knowing what I'm looking at, or where to find information. Like trying to look on Vanguard's website briefly, and I'm not seeing all fund options, or what ratios or loads they may have. Same with looking at these American Fund pamphlets. I just feel like I'm still in the dark. Then I read on here that investments depend on what your goals are. My goals? I don't even know what kind of goals I should be making.\n\nI guess I'm just looking for some advise and more information. It seems like there's just so much to learn and I can't seem to make any connections yet.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Starting to question moving my money to a Wells Fargo IRA.","rejected":" Transferred money to a Wells Fargo account, started reading here, now questioning the WF decision. Still confused and could use advise and more info."} {"prompt":"A bit if backstory on me: I have just finished my first year of uni. I went in with a girlfriend that was long distance and we broke up because we were distancing from so it was a way of protecting the possibility of getting back together later. We now see each other every holiday and she comes back next Saturday, the day of my party. \n\nMy friend: She is someone i met at uni for the first time and we became good friends. Recently i have been having difficulties with mild depression and she has been there. It would seem in the process she has begun to feel differently about me. She started giving off big signals and i know she has had basically no experience with guys romantically so i feel she may have become quite invested quite quickly when i started sharing stuff with her. My condition meant that i probably reciprocated attention more than i should have but that's in the past now and there isn't much to do about it\n\nThe situation: The party is small, 18 people going to a club with tables. My friend does not know about i yet and also doesn't know i will be getting back with my ex this summer (who'll obviously be at the party). The problem is i want to invite my friend because she is special to me and lives in the same city but if i am i feel i need to somehow let her know first what is happening with my ex. I can't just really talk to her about it because she has no idea i think she has feelings for me and if i'm wrong it could make things bad. Also if i do tell her what me and my ex will be doing that might change her mind on coming as she might now want to see us together which is fair enough. \n\nSo Reddit, do i ask my friend to come and ,if so, how do i tell her what's going on?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Friend seems to have feelings for me. Getting back with my ex soon. Should i invite friend to party that my soon to be no longer ex will also be at?","rejected":" Should i invite my friend to my 19th birthday party but if so how do i tell her what's going on with my ex and what i am likely to be doing?"} {"prompt":"About 5 months ago, I (25f) met a guy (27m) at a friend's party. He took me home and we ended up sleeping together and he stayed over. We've continued sleeping together at least once a week since. We've talked about the fact that we're both pretty wary of relationships. \n\nThe only times we spend together are at each others' houses or if we happen to run into each other at a public place (like a bar) and then end up going home together (happens very rarely). When we're together, we talk about our lives (jobs, friends, happenings, family, etc.). We don't communicate very much when we're apart except to hook up. \n\nThe other day, I invited him over as usual. We did not, however, have sex. I tried to initiate it, but all he wanted to do was kiss a bit, rub on me, and go to sleep. \n\nWas he just not feeling into sex that day\/super tired? If so, why would he come over if that's pretty much all our relationship has been? Does that mean he's catching feelings? Am I reading too much into all of this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" FWB and I hung out and didn't have sex for the first time, and I'm a little weirded out by it.","rejected":" fwb and I haven't had sex in 5 months and he seemed to be into kissing and rubbing me instead of sex. Why would that be, and does that mean he's thinking about my feelings?"} {"prompt":"We've only been dating for 5 months and I know that the age difference has caused her stress. I've never met her parents and she's convinced that they won't accept me and will potentially disown her. I've only met one of her friends, for only a few minutes and things were cordial but apparently that friend is also disapproving of our relationship. \n\nOver the past couple of weeks she's been extremely affectionate, constantly telling me she loves me when we're together and texting\/calling to tell me how much she misses me when we aren't. This was a big deal because before she said it for the first time she was convinced that she'd never be in love with anyone. The first time she told me, she cried hysterically. \n\nSunday night we got into a small argument which turned into a breakup argument in which she told me that she's not positive she's in love with me and though she likes me \"more than a lot\", she isn't always happy in her life and thinks that she should be happier. According to her, it \"isn't enough.\" \n\nI should add that this is the 3rd time we've broken up under similar circumstances. In the past she's always regretted her decision and come back. I love her but I don't know how much more of this I can take. The way we left it, she told me she wasn't sure if she wanted to break up or not and just needed time to think, but she sure seems to be leaning in the direction of ending it.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Gf (20) Broke up w\/ me (27) last night. Need advice, please.","rejected":" Girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, can't tell if she's just going to change her mind or if I'll be left devastated. "} {"prompt":"Hello everyone\n\nI ( 18M ) have become to realize that I am an extremely manipulative, controlling, and jealous boyfriend to my girlfriend ( 17 F ). Things were going great until just recently, about 2 months ago, when for some reason I would just get extremely angry, jealous, irritated for little to no reason.\n\nFor example, we're both track and field runners ( we go to the same high school ). This is her first year of track and she decided to join the distance running team based off my recommendations ( I'm a distance runner, and she really enjoyed her first year of cross country ) But now she has decided to try pole vault, and for some reason, this is making me unreasonably mad and extremely jealous of the fact that that means she'll be spending time with 3 other males training, although she has 2 other girls with her. I have no idea what is wrong with me..\n\nI realize that I am being irrational and I beat myself up mentally for it, and tell myself I won't do it again, but then it just happens again, and the same cycle begins. \n\nI am leaving for college and will be ~2 hours away from home in a few months while she finishes her last year of high school ( She's a junior, I'm a senior ). My theory is I just want her for myself for the remaining 5-6 months before I leave because I doubt I'd be seeing her much more than once every other week\n \nYes, I have talked to her about this and she told me she has noticed my behavior changing and told me that I might just be having another bout with depression and anxiety, both of which I've had before. She honestly is the best and told me that \"We'd take it one day at a time and get over it together\". I want to know what I can do on my side to make this easier for her and myself.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I've become extremely manipulative, controlling, and jealous toward my girlfriend of 1 year. She has noticed it and has told me I might be having another bout with depression and anxiety. What can I do to fix it?","rejected":" I [18M] am a jealous boyfriend to my girlfriend [17F]. I realized I've become very manipulative, controlling, and jealous, how do I fix this?"} {"prompt":"In the first couple years of our relationship my husband was physically abusive. He got help and it stopped happening. It's been nearly 3 years since the abuse stopped., But I still haven't gotten over it. I still feel anger and hurt towards him. I watched a movie showing an emotionally abusive relationship and I recognized myself as the abuser! Constant putdowns, always disagreeing with him (most of the time it comes out before I even think about it and I realize I don't ACTUALLY disagree, I just wanted to), refusing to apologize for stupid things, and belittling him in front of our friends.\n\n I feel so bad after realizing this because for the last year I have had it in my head that he is a terrible person and HE was the emotionally abusive one, but I think it's me! I want to make this better, because I don't want to be divorced at such a young age! I want to make this work. He has said many times he wants to be married to me. \n\nI should also include I have depression, I have had it since I was a teenager, but I have always been off and on my medicine. My husband says when I'm on my medicine he enjoys being around me, but when I come off of it I'm miserable to be around. I have been on my medicine for a few weeks now and I actually want to stay on it now that I've recognized this pattern. Hopefully that helps me in the future!\n\nI want to deeply apologize to him for how I've treated him. A real, meaningful apology. And I want to STOP this pattern.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I think I'm emotionally abusive towards my husband and I want to stop. I want to apologize to him and make this better.","rejected":" Husband was physically abusive. It stopped. 3 years later I still feel anger and hurt towards him. I want to make amends and stop this pattern of abuse."} {"prompt":"My boyfriends dad passed away in early December of last year, before he and I even met. We met in late December\/early January, and it actually took me a while to find out that that had happened (his friends told me, because they didn't want either he or I getting hurt). We started dating in the middle of February, and so far as I can tell from what he's told me and the interactions we've had, I don't think he's grieved much since that time, unfortunately we are also long distance most of the time because I'm attending college in a neighboring state. So, the anniversary of his dads passing will be coming up before I'm back in town for winter break (mid December to mid January). I also am not sure if Christmas is a touchy subject, I haven't really brought it up with him because he's never brought it up with me and I don't want to cause him to feel sad by taking about it and asking questions. \n\nIf it helps for advice, he and his father weren't very close, his dad was strict and my boyfriend was a pretty rebellious adolescent, so they were always at odds until my boyfriend got older and they understood each other a bit more. I also am slightly concerned that he feels a small amount of responsibility, for reasons that it's not my place to talk about. \n\nI've never had a close friend who has lost a parent, so I'm really lost on how to give him my support without dragging up a lot of pain. Thank you for any help you can provide.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" my long distance boyfriends dad passed away last year, I'm worried he may be dealing with some rough emotions about it and need advice on how to support him as best I can.","rejected":" My boyfriend's dad passed away last year, and I'm not sure how to help him through a rough winter."} {"prompt":"I found out from one of my friends that a girl I know has a minor crush on me, she thinks I'm \"smart and cute.\" But to say I know her is a stretch, as I don't know much about her and we've barely talked. That being said, from what I've seen of her interactions with others, I've always thought that she could be an 'ideal' girlfriend. She has a lot of the characteristics I am looking for (an interest in music, computer programming, etc). Now, we're scheduled to meet at some point in the next week; I'm going to show her (one-on-one) some software since she expressed an interest in learning how it works. I don't feel like that is the right context to try any of the usual things and up until this point our texting has been strictly professional. Here is where my question begins, I found her OKCupid profile (according to their match things we're a solid 87%), would it be too bold to send her a 'fancy seeing a girl like you in a place like this'\nTL;DR:","chosen":" A girl has a crush on me, I found her OKCupid profile, would it be a bad idea to send her a fancy seeing a girl like you in a place like this?","rejected":" Is it too bold to message a girl you barely know through their OKCupid profile if you feel like texting has become 'boring?'*"} {"prompt":"Hello! I'[M] 25 and single. I was wondering if you guys could please help me out with some advice on asking a girl out. I met this [F23], Elizabeth (pseudonym), last year at university while she and I were in a one year program together - we never met prior to this. We spent the better part of a year in close proximity, having mutual friends and hanging out. From the moment I saw her I was attracted - she was smart and pretty. Unfortunately, I could never get myself to ask her out. A part of me kept saying she's not interested because I never talked to her everyday, just whenever there was the occasional get together with mutual friends would there be some small talk. With the program over since last December 2014, I have never been able to get her off my mind. I have her on Facebook and I have her cell phone number, but I've never messaged her. I really want to ask her out, but I don't know what to do. Also, she lives in a different city than I do (~45 mins away). What should I do? Your help is greatly appreciated.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Was in a one year program with a girl I met last year. I want to ask her girl out, but I've never really talked to her outside of occasional hang outs (none happening any more). What to do?","rejected":" I really like this girl from my university program but I've never been able to ask her out. She lives far away. What should I do? Your help is greatly appreciated."} {"prompt":"So I was meaning to get this off my chest for a while, here it goes.\n\nIn December 2009, I started talking to this girl I met online. I didn't think anything of it, and all we did was just talk online, or text. Soon after, she called me on the phone, and we became pretty serious. She is an amazing person with an addictive personality after talking countless hours with her. The problem? She is 35 with 2 kids and I'm 21 studying to become an Accountant. For the longest time we both wanted a relationship so badly, but I told myself it would never work because we are both in 2 completely different stages of our life. I wanted kids and she already had kids. So after fighting her desire for a relationship, we became best friends, and we are both extremely happy.\n\nShe broke up with her ex boyfriend (who is around my age), and after a year and half, they recently got back together. I feel a little be crappy about it, but I keep reminding myself that I was the one who didn't want a relationship. She is forever grateful that I came into her life, and says I was the best thing to ever happen to her life. She had a dark time where she fell into depression and she tells me that I am the reason for her getting out of that depression period.\n\nEven after she got back with her ex, she still tells me she loves me, and will forever do so because of all the things I helped her with to get rid of her depression. She goes on further by saying that given the opportunity, she would spend the rest of her life with me because she knew I was the one. I feel the same way. You may call me an idiot for thinking that way, but it's how I feel, i'm entitled to have my heart express the feelings I have for this girl.\n\nAnyways, how would you feel if the girl you were dating was just dating you because the guy she really wanted told her it could never happen?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm 21, she is 35. She got back with her ex, and tells me she still loves me. Given the opportunity, she would spend the rest of her life with me, but I told her it could never happen.","rejected":" met awesome girl online. attempted relationship but miscommunication led to breakup. later she confesses she loves me and wants forever with me even tho we are completely different stages in life. unrealistic? pls halp."} {"prompt":"I have a job that was just supposed to be for the summer, they knew from when I started a few months ago but I wasn't getting the hours I needed from there so I applied somewhere else too so I would have around 20 hours a week. My manager seemed fine with it but just needed the person that does scheduling to know that I'll only stay there on weekends. I was told later that day they that I don't have tomorrow off or a week off to go on vacation with my family. They knew I needed these days off at least a month ago and they said it was fine that I can't come in. They also wanted to transfer me closer to where I'm going to school which would be fine but they want to do it now and I can't drive 45 minutes a day to work a 4 hour shift at most. The other place I applied to knew that I would be working two jobs and I think they called in to the store as a reference to see what kind of worker I was because they also knew where I applied to without me telling them the name of the other place. I feel like they gave me a bad reference because I haven't heard back from the second place yet. Should I quit before they transfer me too far away and won't be able to show up and get fired?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" being pushed to quit my job because company wants to move me to a different location without me knowing it and won't be able to get fired. Should I quit now before it happens?","rejected":" Feel like I'm being pushed to quit my job because I was looking for a second job to get more hours before school starts"} {"prompt":"I am looking for advice on how I should approach my sister about dating one of her good friends. I am not looking for an opinion on whether or not it's a good idea. \n\nMyself and said female spent some time together recently (innocently) and have seemed to have hit it off. We are both obviously attracted to one another and interested in seeing where things go. She is one of my sister's very good friends and I don't want to move forward without her blessing. Does anyone have any advice on how I can approach my sister about moving forward with hanging out with this girl on a more personal level?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" interested in sister's good friend, need advice on how to proceed without moving forward without her blessing.","rejected":" Sister's friend and I seem to be interested in each other. Need advice on how to approach sister about hanging out with her friend without crossing a line."} {"prompt":"Growing up I always knew there was something off about him. I loved him to pieces, but he was always adamantly anti-government and anti-corporation. I know a lot of us redditors are too but as time went on its manifested its self in different ways.\n\nWe went to the movie theater one day and he complained that someone took a picture of him. He thought he was being spied on and wanted to leave. (There was no one there, it was in his mind)\n\nOur family got a call yesterday, and it seems now he won't even leave his trailer to get food. He told the neighbor that the voices told him to stand in a hole in his house to keep people away. He's getting worse, and tomorrow I'm going to be going with my mom and anut to help deal with the situation.\n\nI was reading on wikipedia that only .3 - .7% of the population is effected Schizophrenia; which is what we believe it is as this point. I'm really hoping I can find someone to help me out here. Have you known someone who has had Schizophrenia, how did you deal with it? Any advice you can give us?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Grandpa is freaking out about voices telling him to stand in a hole and not come out. I need advice on how I should help him and possibly find someone to help him.","rejected":" My grandpa has been having a mental breakdown, and I need advice from people who have had the same experience."} {"prompt":"Long story short, there was some chick at my work who was always a crappy employee and was a bitch to me. I am her boss but because the way the company is structured and because my boss is a bum, she was never disciplined. The other day she walked out on me so that i had to finish her shift. I had just worked an 11 hour shift and then had to stay an addition 7 hours. I heard through the grapevines that she had been planning it for awhile to 'show me who's boss.' She then goes on her Facebook and tries to talk trash about me. She has even gone as far as calling my corporate office to try and get me fired over making her do work. She is spreading false rumors about me on a daily basis. She is obsessed.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Some chick at work is a bitch and is trying to ruin my name with lies. I am the boss, but she is trying to talk shit about me behind my back.","rejected":" dumb bitch trying to rain on my parade."} {"prompt":"EDIT: Accidentally broke a rule.\n\nSo I met this girl on the train in my city, wound up chatting, leading to dating, and she has expressed interest in proceeding into the \"real\" long-term relationship stage. \n\nI'm pretty on-board with the idea, except the age difference is kinda messing with my head. I knew from the beginning that she was younger than me, but I didn't realize *how much* younger at first.\n\nHer attitude is that the law says she's an adult and she is allowed to be with who she wants, and she's right, but there's a voice in my head that is reminding me that she has been an adult for less time than has passed since I las needed to update my vehicle registration.\n\nI mean, I've been out of my parents' house for eight years. I've had enough time to serve a stint in the military, move around the world, and start my own small business. It's not bragging to say I have loads more world experience than she does. It is just a statement of fact.\n\nJust for the record, I'm not a Jerk. I am not and will not hold that experience over her head. I do and always will respect her. I am not trying to exploit her youth. And she is much more mature than her age would suggest.\n\nShe holds that she is perfectly happy with me and doesn't see the age as a problem. She doesn't feel exploited. \n\nAm I wrong here, or is this an okay relationship? I really need some outside perspective, because I do really want to be with this girl for the foreseeable future.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Met girl, she's 18 and I'm 26. But she doesn't see age difference as a problem and is happy with me. Is this relationship\/relationship worth pursuing?","rejected":" I'm 26 and she's 18. Is this legal, and is it okay? How do I deal with the age difference?"} {"prompt":"For a couple of years now I've had an acquaintance that I really enjoy talking to and ended up developing a big crush on.\n\nWe met when we were both married, nothing inappropriate went on. Eventually I found out she got separated and we stopped talking. About a year went by and I ended up getting separated from my wife. After I was separated for a bit I contacted her again and after a little back and forth I asked her out. She then informed me that she was seeing someone else (that really hurt).\n\nEven though she is seeing someone, and it really hurt to be rejected, I still enjoy talking to her. Our conversations have been been limited to email and texting for now. Our conversations are light and simple, some joking around.\n\nI know continuing to talk to her is not the smartest decision, since she is involved, and if she doesn't answer I get paranoid she doesn't want to talk to me. Despite this, I would like to keep some time of communication with her. Is this weird? \n\nI know there are no rules for relationship situations, but does anyone have any advise or suggestions?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Talking to girl while she is seeing someone else, would like to keep some communication despite her being involved relationship. Is this weird? Any advise or suggestions?","rejected":" I'm a single dude who has a crush on a married woman, I like her. I'm not sure if it's okay to keep in contact with her."} {"prompt":"Okay guys, I'll try to keep this short.\n\nSo, I've known her \/ liked her (I REALLY like her) for about 3 months now. We see each other quite often outside of class. I've only been alone with her a couple times: once, we went to dinner because everyone backed out, and another time we had coffee (she brought a girl friend, FML, but she left reasonably soon.) Both times, we had an awesome time. The conversation was fast, fresh, funny...I had her laughing at all of my jokes. And we relate in so many ways. She's really confusing though. She'll text me, seeming really sweet, act like she really wants to talk to me, etc. and then just stop talking to me \/ act like she doesn't care for absolutely no reason. IDK what's going on.\n\nThe reason I haven't made a move yet is I always thought there was someone else (turns out it wasn't). She mentioned a cute guy she talked to but I don't think that's going anywhere.\n\nFinal note: I asked her what she looked for in a guy. She pretty much described me to a T. She's looking for a nice guy, and I feel like I'm really sincere, and would be really sweet to her. I really want to; she's dated some jerks in the past who really hurt her, and I just want to be with her and make her happy. I have every other characteristic she listed. Is my luck just that bad, or....?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Really like this girl but she seems distant and doesn't seem to want anything serious. Wondering what I should do without blowing it, and possibly losing her entirely.","rejected":" Really like this girl, but she's acting weird. Wondering if there's something I should be doing or if I'm just going to regret it. Advice please? :)"} {"prompt":"I found out my friend has been talking to an older married guy online for at least month. Apparently they talk alot about sex and he has been giving her advice on how to handle fuck-buddy relationships. In return, she has been sharing the details of her encounters.\n\nI am happy my friend is enjoying herself, but this guys seems like a serious creeper to me. At least he is on the other side of the country. I casually mentioned that I did not think this was a good idea, but haven't pushed too hard on the topic. Am I being too judgemental, or do I need to step up and tell her this guys seems like the kind of wierdo one should avoid?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" single friend has been chatting with married guy online for at least month, sharing details of sex life, need advice as to whether or not i should tell her to stop this.","rejected":" single friend has been chatting w\/ married dude. effecting friendship imo. should i tell her to stop bc seems like complete creep? etc. help plz."} {"prompt":"I really loved my girlfriend. I did. We were best friends.\n\nBut I'm having a ton of trouble reconciling that I met her so early on in life. She's my first serious relationship, and we talked about getting married etc. She's on-board with the idea, and I just couldn't continue the relationship because I wasn't sure.\n\nWhat I'm trying to figure out is whether or not I'm ok with settling down so early. I already feel like maybe I'm missing something. All my friends have gone on streaks of dating a lot, nothing serious, and a lot of flings. I've never had that in life. I always was looking for a relationship. But now that I have one, I feel trapped. I feel that if I commit to this now, I'm giving up the chance to ever be able to have that fun freedom in my 20s. Part of me wants to experience that, but on the other hand what if I'm letting the best one go just to go experience shitty relationships?\n\nI always thought that I'd end up with a physically fit, active girl. My girlfriend simply isn't. She's never done any real physical activity, and doesn't have much urge to do so. I still find her attractive, but I'm worried that she'll gain weight the older she gets. I know that beauty fades with age... but I still want to be crazy attracted to her. I am attracted to her now more just because of our relationship than her physical appearance. If she did lose a bit of weight and was active, I know she would be that crazy hot girl I've always wanted... but I can't force her to become active, and I also don't want to bank on that happening.\n\nI'm just really caught up in \"what-if\"s right now, and it's killing me inside. Am I missing out on something if I stay with her?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm on a break with my gf of 3 years. I'm feeling weird about it, and am trying to figure out if I'm missing out on something, or if I should stay with her.","rejected":" First serious relationship with girlfriend. She's never done anything physical, never really had that urge to, and I'm not sure I want to give up the whole fun, flirty freedom of dating. Am I missing out on something?"} {"prompt":"So I've always had the \"traditional\" view on drugs I.e. all drugs are bad etc. When I met my friend, who smokes weed, I've attempted to open my mind somewhat about drugs. I don't have a problem with her smoking weed in fact I've tried it with her a few times. \nHowever, last night she told me that a few weeks ago she and a couple of friends did MDMA. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Because of my upbringing, I always thought MDMA will fuck you over big style, but after I did some research I felt a little better. I'm still uneasy though. She did say \"I probably wouldn't want to do it again, it was fun and all but ehh\" \nAm I right to be concerned that she's going to have no qualms about trying even harder stuff I.e heroin, crack, meth? \nThere's a certain uneasiness I feel in addition, which I can't quite pin down, I think it stems to the fact that my wonderful, awesome friend is trying things I'd never considered her doing, and that opens a new side to her I've never seen before. But thats my problem, not hers.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Friend did MDMA, I'm not sure if I should be concerned about her future drug use, or if I'm just being a prude.","rejected":" Friend tried MDMA, said she liked it but probably won't do it again. I'm still concerned that she may do it again too soon, do other things which will fuck her up and seriously harm herself one day."} {"prompt":"Been going to the gym and seeing a trainer for a while now, between sets he likes to people watch and loves to point out any nice looking girls. We talk and go through my routine and there has always been this one girl who has caught my eye when she is there. \n\nMy trainer noticed this and asked who it was that has been catching my attention, when I told him he said that he trained her and would be happy to introduce us. Which sounds great, but I don't know anything about this girl outside of really liking the way she looks.\n\nI'm not socially awkward but unless I have some background information or a mutual interest I'm not good at talking to strangers, especially this really attractive girl. \n\nThe one rule I know about the gym is that people are there to workout, not socialize, I'm pretty sure that having a random guy approach this girl mid workout would be the last thing she'd want in her life so I'd rather not have that be my first impression.\n\nDoes anyone have any suggestions?\nI'm completely content with not pursuing this, because I like this gym a lot and would rather have things stay as they are then introduce a new worry of whether or not I'd have to hide from a failed attempt at hitting on this girl\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Trainer at the gym offered to introduce me to a cute girl that has been catching my attention but I have no idea what her interests are, also don't want to have a first impression be me interrupting her workout.","rejected":" Trainer offered to introduce me to one of his other female clients, I'm not great with this kind of social interaction so I don't know if I should go for it or not"} {"prompt":"I'm on mobile and new to Reddit so if anyone could show me how to add flair\/direct me to a more appropriate subreddit that would be very appreciated. \n\nI've always had low self-esteem. I'm 5 feet tall and slightly chubby, but still within what is considered a \"healthy\" weight. I've suffered from acne for most of my life and while it's calmed down a bit now, I still have scars and occasional breakouts. I even posted to r\/amiugly and... the results were less than satisfying. I also have anxiety and some minor depression which makes everything 10x worse. However, I'm blessed enough to have a loving and understanding boyfriend who prefers my body type and makes me feel beautiful.\n\nMy friend is tall, thin, and pretty. She's always been loved by just about everyone she meets, while I've always been shy and quiet and generally forgotten about (seriously, if you asked anyone in my high school, no one knew who I was and everyone knew her). She's perfect model material, so much that she was scouted (during a shift at McDonald's, no less! I hate how the uniform makes me look, but she's model material even at work). Ever since she got scouted, I've felt worse about myself. I always knew I wasn't as pretty as her, but now it was confirmed. I'm the ugly friend. \n\nI've since been... avoiding her. I feel horrible about it, but I can't bear to look at her. The fact that she had this opportunity handed to her on a silver platter because she won the genetic lottery makes me incredibly angry and jealous and sad. The fact that I'll never be beautiful and recognized as such makes me feel worse. The fact that I'm being so petty over this... you get the picture. I don't know what to do about any of it. I can't bring myself to talk to her about it. I'd love any sort of advice.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm jealous of a friend because she's extremely pretty and I'm ugly and it's taking a toll on my self-esteem and the relationship. Help!","rejected":" my friend is a model and I'm jealous. It's brought down my self-esteem and made me want to avoid her."} {"prompt":"A few hours ago I nocked over a can of paint while me, my brothers, my mom and my step dad were moving things around upstairs so we could paint the roof and walls. It splattered all over their racks of clothes and the floor. We filled up the bath tubs with water and put their cloths in them and put soaked towels on the floor. My mom left to get a rug doctor, some paint thinner, rubbing alcohol and mineral spirits from the store. We got the paint out of the carpet but it wouldn't come out from most the clothes. Does anyone know how I can get the paint out with something more effective than paint thinner, rubbing alcohol, or mineral spirits? Also I've been using a sponge to get it out, do you guys know of anything more effective than a sponge?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I spilled paint on my brothers and my moms clothes and it will take a while to get the paint out. What do I use to get the paint out?","rejected":" TIFU by ruining several thousand dollars worth of clothes."} {"prompt":"Hello everyone,\n\nI have been lurking on this sub for quite some time but this is the first time im posting. I need help getting started down the right path to losing weight. I've been saying that I would be healthier for a while now, but at this point im not even 100% sure I know what that means.\n\nA little background about me, I am a 22 y\/o M that currently weighs between 385-390 lbs. I am currently working full time and going to graduate school (which leaves me tired and gives little time to do anything else). I am a former athlete, I was actually playing two sports in college as recent as april, but ive spiraled downwards since then. I was 280 pounds when I graduated high school and 340 when I graduated college. In the four months since ive graduated ive gained 45 pounds mostly due to continuing my crap eating habits (way too much fast food and fried food) without really working out. \n\nI've known for a while that I needed to make a serious change, but it didnt really hit me until this morning when I went to put on a button up shirt for work and it ripped when I bent over. I know that this has gotten kind of rambling, but I guess the core question is how do you start? How did you break your fast food and junk food addiction and learn how to eat right (And what to even eat in the first place)? How do you motivate yourself to work out when you have little time and you're exausted (on tuesday-thursday I leave the house at 6:30am and get back at 8:15pm, so I feel like I never have the time to work out). What workouts did you do that you felt helped the most with limited time?\n\nSorry that this got so long, and if you read this far I really thank you. I just need help and im not exactly sure where to start. I just dont want to be so miserable and tired anymore\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I need advice on how to start the weight loss process. How do you break up the fast food and junk food addiction? How do you motivate yourself to work out when you have little time and you're exausted?","rejected":" I need help breaking my fast food addiction and learning how to eat right so I can lose weight and stay healthy. what workouts did you do that you felt helped the most when you were really busy with school\/work?"} {"prompt":"This is the story of how my plan for a petty revenge accidentally got my victim arrested.\n\nSo I met an old bully at a night club a year or two ago, and he came up to me and tried to be all pally, despite the fact that he made a few years of my life hell. I told him to fuck off, and went on with my partying, but his mere presence ruined my night, so I planned some petty revenge.\n\nI knew the owner of the club, and some of the guards, so I told a guard that I thought he might be dealing drugs in the bathrooms to get him thrown out. Little did I know that he was selling drugs in the bathrooms, and things get a bit out of hand.\n\nThe guards check it out, and realize that he is selling drugs, so they try to stop him. He punches one guard and locks himself in one of the stalls (and even though he is in the bathroom he does not think of flushing the drugs).\n\nThe police comes and while arresting him, he breaks one of their noses. He was charged and convicted of aggravated assault, assaulting a public official, resisting arrest, selling cocaine, ecstasy, amphetamines and weed.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I try to get a guy thrown out of a club by saying he is selling drugs. Turns out he is selling drugs, he assaults a guard and a police officer and gets arrested.","rejected":" Old bully tried to be pally with me, I plan some petty revenge which backfires and he is arrested. I feel pretty good about it though."} {"prompt":"I was in a dark place exactly 22 days ago. What's interesting is that I know this because I posted on this subreddit. I actually just noticed that I posted it, because honestly, I forgot. I re read what I said, and I can say that I understand exactly what I was saying at the time, and even agree with it. I understand that what I did was fucked up, and that it wasn't what I wanted, but you know what? I'm who I am right this fucking instant because of it, and dammit, I fucking love me. It feels good. It feels good to actually like yourself, rather than hing on what others say. Deduce your worth based on your interpretation of others appraisal of you.\n\nSHIT, you know what? I just fucked up with like two girls in the past two days, and that's soooo shitty. I just broke a nofap streak of like 2 weeks! But the funny thing is, I'm still me, and I'm still the shit. I'm learning from the stupid mistakes I make, and that's the only way I'd ever have it.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" was in a dark place 22 days ago, posted on reddit, realized what I was saying\/thinking at the time, love me even though I fucked up a few times recently. Still me, still the shit.","rejected":" 22 days ago, I was fucked up, posted on this subreddit, now I'm actually liking myself and not letting external factors dictate my worth. Fuck yes."} {"prompt":"My lifelong friend, K, has been in a four year relationship with D. They have a really good relationship except for that he won't talk about commitment. She says the times she brought it up (not very often, maybe 3-5 times in their entire relationship) she felt she communicated that she wasn't expecting a proposal, just wanting to know the status of the relationship. \n\nThey've lived together for about 2 1\/2 years in a home that he officially owns. They act like a married couple in every other sense (no kids or shared bank accounts, though) and I feel that he loves her and is \"all in\" their relationship. She wants kids and he says he does, too, but they're not making plans to have them together. \n\nRecently, her mother got engaged to her bf (both late 50's) after losing K's father to cancer in 2007. It's hard for her because she wants the security of marriage and helping her mom with wedding stuff is drudging up emotions she ignores before in he name of not being \"one of those girlfriends.\" \n\nI've secretly felt that he wants the benefits of a marriage without any of the responsibility, but I want to make sure that I'm giving her the best advice. Personally, I think she should end it. Yes, he's wonderful in most ways, but he refuses to talk about the future and is making her feel like a placeholder. To me, not talking about it is the problem. It will be hard, but I think she needs to end it before he (IMHO) uses her any longer. Am I missing something to consider? \n\nJust to let everyone know, D's parents are still together and seem to have a good marriage. As for as she knows, they never had any \"big\" issues; yeah, no marriage is perfect but as far as she knows (and she knows the family pretty well at this point), they always had a good marriage.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" my friend's boyfriend refuses to even talk about settling down after 4 years together, 2 1\/2 living together. What advice should I give her? He's a great boyfriend otherwise, but I feel he's stringing her along.","rejected":" Longtime friend of mine has a 4 year relationship with her supposedly \"picture perfect\" bf but refuses to talk about commitment. What should I do?"} {"prompt":"Let's call my ex- boyfriend James. OK first off, I don't really know if he's really my ex, since we are pretty much in contact and he keeps saying he will come back to me when he's done growing up. \n\nSo recently, James's father has not been well, and needed to get surgery. Living in Canada, health care is pretty much free, so hospital bills are not the problem. However, because of this illness, he will be unable to continue working for the next 3 years. James has just finished his bachelor in electrical engineering, but has no internships or related working experience. His mother who is also working, says she can't afford working alone to support their family of 5 and is pressuring him to find a job. I don't know what she exactly said to him because I wasn't there, but James last week, cried to me over the phone, saying he needs to find a job and grow up, and to do that, he wanted a break.\n\nJames, for the years I have been with him, has sort of slacked off, and would sort of treat me like shit occasionally, for which I would reprimand him. But I've always felt the need to help him however I can. It's partially my fault, that he has become the way he is, because I was the one pushing him to apply to jobs (I would make his resume and cover letters as well as apply for the jobs for him). He would get interviews, but unfortunately would not pass them. Because of my success with finding jobs and his failure, he sometimes tells me \"you're only getting hired because you're a girl\". \n\nAnyway, he's been feeling really low on himself, but he doesn't really have anyone to support him except me, but he just wanted to be friends until he can figure things out. \n\nI wanted to distance myself from him so he could get the peace he wanted, but he calls me and wants my company, so I don't understand... Why he wanted a beak.\n\nShould I keep supporting him, or do I leave him be?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Ex boyfriend depressed, needs help finding a job and grow up. Need to leave him be, or should I stay and help him?","rejected":" Ex-boyfriend is depressed because of father's illness, wants my company. I don't know if I should be there for him."} {"prompt":"I've been with my GF for about 16 months, she moved into my apartment about 6 months ago. Things have slowly fizzled out (dead bedroom) and although we are very good friends, it has become clear to me that we're looking for different things in a romantic relationship. \n\nShe works as a teacher, but next year will be enrolled in a master's program at a University in another state. The plan has been for us both to move out of state in June when her school year is over. I've recently decided that it is best for both of us to go our separate ways and I will not be moving with her.\n\nDilemma: When do I break it to her? We live in my 1 bedroom apartment and share a bed. I cannot expect her to move out and find a new place when she will be moving out of state 2 months. I'm afraid the news will crush her. I doubt we can continue to live together in a small space for 2 months, with one of us sleeping on the couch every night. \n\nI know this will be hard and I know it needs to be done as soon as possible. But I feel it would work out best (for her and me) to wait until about 2 or 3 weeks before she leaves to drop the hammer. \n\nHas anyone gone through a similar situation? Any advice is greatly appreciated!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" When is the best time to end things with live-in GF who needs a place to live for another 2 months? ","rejected":" GF is moving out of state and I want to break it to her before she starts living with someone else. I can't be with her for 2 months. "} {"prompt":"This just happened in my pathogenic microbiology class. \n\nSo I'm sitting there waiting for class to start and I'm making my witty comments with my friends enjoying the pre-class aura and nerding out about vaccinations and how idiotic some people in the anti-vaccine movement is. Class starts. \n\nI am on top of my game. Answering questions right and left. One after the other. The professor is impressed about the depth in which I read one of our scientifically significant articles. So we started talking about pathogenicity and how you can be in the same species but be a different variant. Basically you can have two of the same bacteria's with different factors that cause one to result in a different \"strength\" of disease progression or resistant factors. (An example is VRSA and MRSA). \n\nSo my professor asks \"who can give me an example of what a variant is and explain what they're saying\".... I raise my hand and say \"WE are all HUMAN, but an example of variant in our species would be Asian decent, African decent, European decent and South American decent\". \n\nThere was a pause with a long stare and my professor says \"that is correct but probably one of the most controversial ways of explaining it\". Everyone starts laughing except a few people who shot me looks. Now I look semi-racist for using humans as a way of expressing variants in a species. I completely feel like shit as I realized how bad it came out in class.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I got too cocky answering questions in class and used humans as a way of explaining why we are truly different via decent and probably racially offended kids in class. ","rejected":" I used humans as an example of a species and it came out racist. I feel like shit. I'm a racist."} {"prompt":"I (25) met a girl (22) at a party.\n\nBasically, we hit it off. Starting texting constantly and found out how similar we are. We tried to meet up last weekend, but she got sick (actually got sick) and she seemed super bummed about having to skip.\n\nShe says things to me like \"I can't believe you exist\", \"I feel like I've known you a long time\", \"this is so exciting and scary at the same time\", so I thought she liked me.\n\nToday, I ask her to meet up tonight and she seems excited and she'll keep me posted. I wait hours and hours, and text her \"are you up for tonight?\" with no response. I see she is liking photos on Facebook, so I know she saw it.\n\nWhat the hell? I'm actually angry right now. She would text me like, every day and if I ended a conversation she would text me again several hours later. I really like her, and I thought she really liked me. At 25, I'm able to tell when a girl is just being polite or if she actually likes you.\n\nShould I call her? Just move on without asking what happened? Should I lay it out (say \"hey, that kind of hurt when you ignored the text to hang out, because you've really been giving me a different impression\")?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl seemed really interested, but totally ignores texts and leaves me hanging. What do I do?","rejected":" Girl was very interested in me, but seems to be ignoring me now. Should I try and get to know her better?"} {"prompt":"So I had been with my boyfriend for two years and he studied abroad last summer and met someone overseas. It hurt but I got over it and tried to remain friends. They pretty much have kept in touch since then and this guy wants to fly him out to him for spring break. Even though I don't have feelings for him it hurts. I honestly wouldn't care if he dated anyone else but the fact that he's going back to the source that has caused me so much pain hurts. I told him i will never be able to look at him again. So my question is:\n\nEven though I don't have feelings currently he is my best friend..but if he decides to go I don't think I will be able to be friends with him. Am I in the wrong? Also we live together and sleep in the same bed (and no we don't have sex) I just want to make sure I'm being mature about this.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" boyfriend cheated on me overseas. we live together and have been for two years. now were exes and he wants to go on spring break with the guy and come back and expect everything to be \"normal\"","rejected":" ex-roommate wants to stay friends after cheating on me. Do i have the right to refuse? And what do i do if I do refuse?"} {"prompt":"Hey guys, so TIFU in front of all my classmates and didn't realize it until after my teacher pointed it out.\n\nI'm currently taking an intro to psychology class over the summer at my university. Today in class we talked about Motivation and Emotion, covering a chapter per day as usual. One of the topics is the Drive Reduction Theory of Motivation, where physiological needs cause internal drives and the organism acts to satisfy the need, and tension is reduced. We tied it to sex because college kids, and the issues of meeting online people for sex came up (Tinder, Craigslist, Grindr) and then someone compared that scenario to an Uber taxi, since the driver of the Uber is a stranger. I talked about how one Uber driver locked the back doors of his vehicle and started masturbating next to the female passenger.\n\nExcept I made the hand motion while I told the class that the guy was masturbating. \n\nSo my professor busts out laughing, my friends bust out laughing (our class is like 10 people so we're all friends here) and the guys at the end of the table who couldn't see my hand motion asked me to do it again. They probably thought I'd actually SEEN the video and not just heard about it. I laughed it off but was pretty embarrassed, realized I needed to cut down my guy-friend exposure time, as I've clearly been desensitized to the social norm of not making obscene gestures in a university class.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Made jacking-off motion in front of professor and classmates in plain sight while telling story, am made fun of, am embarrassed.","rejected":" Told class about a guy masturbating next to his female passenger in an Uber taxi, made a gesture that made everyone in the class laugh, realized I need to cut back on my guy-friend exposure time."} {"prompt":"I've been with my boyfriend for almost six months now and we're very happy. We sleep together most nights, talk about the future frequently, and commonly express how lucky we feel to be together and how glad we are that we're together. As of right now, I feel like he could be on track to be my life partner. (Maybe it's delusional, but I like to think that its a matter of comfort--a lot of the reason that we're together and so serious is that we're just comfortable, and we strangely enough just fit together.) \n\nHowever, it's been nagging on my brain: My boyfriend still hasn't said that he loves me. I know he cares about me. I can see it in the way he treats me and in the immense amount of time he spends with me. I'm not particularly UPSET that he doesn't said it, because I'm simply happy to be happy and to be with someone who for some reason wants to be with me, but I'm just wondering, reddit, how long did you wait for that magical word? And how long do you think I should wait?\n\n(I would just say it first, but I want it to be a special moment, and I dont want it to be an awkward \"oh, I don't feel that way yet\" or a pitty\/pressured \"I love you.\")\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 22. We've been together for almost six months. I'm happy, but I'm wondering how long I should wait for the \"L\" word.","rejected":" Been with boyfriend for almost six months, he still hasn't said he loves me. How long should I wait for that magical word?"} {"prompt":"This happened when I was around 12. I found a turtle in my back yard, put it in a box, and brought it inside. From experience and from TV I had developed an understanding that I couldn't *force* an animal to be friends with me. I felt a sense of pride in my maturity for realizing it might take time for this turtle to like me. I covered my floor in newspaper, took him out of the box. Then I went and sat on the floor across the room. I had the fanciful idea that if I was patient enough, the turtle would warm up to me even though I removed it from its natural habitat, family, friends, etc. \n\nI sat there and waited. Sure enough, the turtle began slowly crawling over to me. I was ecstatic but I sat there playing it cool for almost 45 minutes. The turtle made his way across my room inch-by-inch as I daydreamed that he actually wanted to sit in my lap, play with me, etc. \"All it took was a little patience,\" I smugly thought as the turtle finally arrived. As soon as he was close enough to reach me, he stuck out\nhis neck and bit me really hard. Dejected, I put him in the box and took him back outside. So his (defensive) attack, while painfully slow, was effective.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Thought I was \"the turtle whisperer\" and sat on floor playing tough while waiting for turtle to warm up to me. He ended up biting me when he finally made his way to my lap.","rejected":" thought I was the turtle whisperer, waited on the turtle to come to me, he bit me, the turtle was not impressed"} {"prompt":"Throwaway acct.\n\n6 months ago, my younger brother explained to my mom that he found the doctor that he had his sports physical with \"creepy\" and that he didn't want to go back to him again. He explained that the doctor had touched him for a long time, but my mom thought that it was just his reaction to having his first physical without her in the room. 6 months later, after learning of similar charges being brought against the doctor by others, my mom talked to him and he confessed that he knew what the doctor had done was wrong, and that it had really scared him. I won't go into any details, but what he described was indisputably molestation. My mom is afraid to press charges because she doesn't want him to have to describe the situation any more than he already has. Personally, I think that not dealing with this now is going to really fuck him up down the road. Reddit, do you side with my mom, or me on this? If there are any professional lawyers, psychologists, etc that have dealt with this, what is the right decision right now?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Younger brother molested by doctor. My mother thinks we should shove it under the rug; I think that dealing with it now and pressing charges will be best for him long term.","rejected":" My 12 year old brother was molested by his doctor, and now my mother wants to pursue the charges, but my 12 year old brother does not. My mom doesn't know what to do."} {"prompt":"Okay so I'm basically fucked. Let me get started on how badly I'm going to lose my job.\n\nSo today at work my boss was sick so he called in her daughter who is a year older than me to come in to help close. So she came in and we proceeded to get done clean up and the other workers left. I work in a grocery store by the way so nothing too special. Anyways I was getting my stuff from the back when she came back there and she started to get really touchy.\n\nSo this is where shit got hot and heavy and we proceeded to carry on, she blew me for a bit and then she asked if I had a condom. I had one in my car so I went out of the store, but I took the short way which was to open the loading door, at the time I thought nothing of it. So we finished up and she said she has been wanting to do that for a long time and next time we should make it even more kinkier and all over the store.\n\nSo this is where shit gets bad. I was driving home when I was thinking of how awesome it was, when the thought hit me. The alarm was set because we had locked up. So tomorrow my boss is going to get to work and see the alarm had gone off, and do what anyone would do. Watch the camera's. So I'm basically fucked.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" TIFU Got Caught... At Work!","rejected":" I got caught at work."} {"prompt":"I used to live in NYC a couple years back but have moved around the past couple years but still visit NYC frequently to keep in touch with friends.\n\nSo this was Tuesday Night and I had plans set with this girl. We meet up on a local blvd in NYC and didnt have any plans. So I said we should go to Coney Island and she agreed to come with. We end up taking public transportation for 2 hrs to get to the destination.\n\nWe get to Coney Island and we look around, take pictures, and then we go on a couple rides. It's getting late the place starts to close so we grab something to eat before we go back to our town. We got food and I paid for this whole date while were eating she offers me to eat some of her food which sounded like she was comfortable with me.\n\nWe end up heading back towards the train station where I get stopped by a guy who is trying to make me win a stuffed animal for her, which I did. We end up leaving to go on the train around midnight and we dont get back in to town till 2 am. She calls her mom to pick her up at the subway stop and I ended up seeing someone I knew at 2 am in the morning stopping me from kissing the her at the end of the date. So instead we ended up giving each other a big hug. \n\nAt the end of the night we part ways, she texts me to get home safe and that she had a really good time. Its been a couple days and I text her as soon as I woke up today after not talking to her yesterday during my trip home. I told her Good morning and I missed her lots but haven't got a response.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Went on a date with a girl, got too late to get back to town and ended up hanging out for the night, ended up getting stopped by a guy and then gave each other a hug at the end of the night.","rejected":" I knew this girl in high school, finally told her how I felt and she agreed to get to know each other more."} {"prompt":"I want to start off by saying my sister is an amazing personality and she's a fabulous woman, but there's a serious problem with her when it comes down to her body odor and body care. My little sister has ALWAYS fought people when they bring up her body odor, we've even brought her to a doctor once after we made her shower for a full week in a row to see if the smell will disappear - but it didn't, it actually got 10x worse. The doctor said the smell seemed more with her care of her body and surroundings than anything else, so that was that. After that, every time ANYONE brought up the hygiene issue, she would not make any excuses, she would actually do the total opposite - she becomes verbally abusive, result to names and then make it almost intolerable to talk to her.\n\nCut to two weeks ago, her friend had brought her home from school and I admit, her odor was fairly strong that day. My sister didn't see it, but her friend hosed her car with febreeze and rolled her windows down before pulling away. I didn't tell her, but I sure did bring her odor up again and was met with, again, verbally abusive language and behavior. \n\nAnother incident that happened is my sister went to use the bathroom on a following day while I had friends over. Her scent was SO OVERPOWERING that when my friend went in, he immediately came out and he had a visibly disturbed look on his face. He, having been my friend since elementary school, was honest with me and told me he smelled some really bad in our bathroom. I checked, it was indeed my sister's odor as it tends to linger. \n\nTHEN another incident where we went to the store, she was elsewhere in the establishment and I was in one aisle with another woman, who was 100% perfectly fine...until my sister showed up. She visibly looked uncomfortable and ended the conversation VERY quickly the second my sister arrived and stuck around for at least 15 seconds. I'm at my rope's end with this, I don't know what to do since she is reaching that age where she needs to get her act together for when she looks for work.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My sister smells like 20 skunks all the time and doesn't care to get rid of it. I'm at my wits' end with her hygiene issues and I don't know what to do.","rejected":" Little sister constantly smells like hot cheetos and ass on a hotplate, how can I help her smell a little bit less offensive?"} {"prompt":"It was so hard. He is such a great guy. Great boyfriend material, would make a wonderful father - patient, caring, loving, and loyal. And I had to give that all up because it simply wasn't working. I haven't felt a pain like this. It's a huge loss that I don't know how I can get myself back up. All these fears in me - Will I ever find someone as good and love me as much as he did? What if he's the best I could do? \n\nI've been hanging on to this failing relationship for so long simply because I couldn't let go of someone so good even though I knew that we weren't compatible and was inevitably growing apart. I've invested so much of my emotions and time with him that I don't know how I will go on. I feel like dating is going to be hellish as I will be using my ex as a yardstick and just nitpick at everyone who doesn't match up. \n\nFor now I've gone no contact as most have advised. Any tips or story that is similar to mine? You letting go of a great person? How are you doing now? Have you met someone?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Had to end a great relationship due to incompatibility. Feeling lost and like dating will be hellish for a while. Looking for any similar stories\/advice on how to cope.","rejected":" Finally ended my near 5 year relationship with my ex who was a great guy. How did you cope? Any tips or story that is similar to mine? You letting go of a great person?"} {"prompt":"Throwaway account, just because.\n\nFor three weeks last month I was traveling for work. An old friend contacted me right before I left, asking if she could stay with me while doing job interviews nearby. I told her that I wouldn't be around but that I would give her free access to my apartment. She ended up staying for two weeks and left the place in great shape. However, I'm just getting around to paying my bills for that period and I realized that my utilities bill is MUCH higher than usual. I've never seen my bill this high before and fall usually has the cheapest months because the climate is so neutral. Unlike most apartment buildings that I know of, each unit is responsible for it's own utilities, meaning that every bill I receive is for my own apartment's usage (instead of a total cost that is split between all of the tenants throughout the building). She was the only one in the apartment for the majority of that period. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her use my place for free, but now I'm wondering if I should bring this up. \n\nIf I'm ever in a position again where I let someone use my apartment, should I make some sort of stipulation about energy usage? Should I be \"that dick\" that charges a fee?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" let a friend use my apartment for free while I was gone for work, utilities bill is way higher than usual and I'm not sure if i should bring this up at all.","rejected":" let a friend stay in my apartment while I was gone and my utilities bill skyrocketed unexpectedly. Wondering if I should make some sort of stipulation about energy usage in the future, or if I should be shitty ass and charge for the"} {"prompt":"I can't explain why but throughout my childhood my parents harassed me when I cried.\n\nBoth my mother and father would laugh at me and call me names. I was only about 5 years old.\n\nI cried when I was hurt or when I sad and would laugh and call me a \"faker\". When I didn't stop they would get angry and I'd get spanked until I shut up.\n\nI stopped crying at about 8 years old. I just never did it because I didn't want to get in trouble.\n\nMy parents were nicer too. They didn't laugh at me or spank me.\n\nWhen I was 13 my mom died from leukemia. It was really sad, and I did cry when my dad told me she was going to die. I cried so loud the neighbors called the cops. My voice was sore when I said goodbye to her.\n\nAfter that it was just my dad and I. He didn't really know how to raise me. Mom usually did that while he worked. He started beating me when I got into trouble, and wouldn't stop until I didn't cry anymore.\n\nLife wasn't easy. My grades were bad and I was kicked out of school for poor grades. \n\nBut I'm 18 now, and is been almost a year since he's hurt me. I cry when I'm sad now, and it's awesome.\n\nI'm not weak, I'm not faking. I'm sad, and I'm crying, and I feel better after.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Parents didn't allow their daughter to cry, lead to a shitty life, now I'm 18 and crying is awesome.","rejected":" I was bullied as a child and my parents laughed at me when I cried. I stopped crying at about 8 years old. I just never did it because I didn't want to get in trouble."} {"prompt":"I knew this person in high school and we were both interested in each other. It never worked out although I have had dreams about this person ever since (8 years of dreams). They aren't sexual dreams, but this is really, really wearing on me. In the dreams I am very happy to be with her and when I wake up I am devastated. The worst part is that I am currently in a relationship and know that this other girl is single. I went for lunch with her a little over a year ago to see how she was doing and we seemed to both enjoy ourselves. I have not pursued this relationship because I am in a fairly good relationship and feel delusional thinking this \"dream\" relationship could work out.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I am in love with someone I have sort of a \"dream\" relationship with. I am in a current relationship and don't know if I should pursue this new relationship.","rejected":" I am in love with a person who I have had dreams about for years and have not been able to pursue it."} {"prompt":"We are seniors in college. We used to be a thing, but we broke things off because we didn't want any attachments (graduating and all). I know that he's super busy. The past several weeks he has been out of town on the weekends to visit grad schools.\n\nHe went on a trip over winter break, and I know be brought me back something that I asked him to.\n\nHe doesn't really respond to me. It's very sporadic. I asked him if he wanted to even be friends (given we basically broke up). And he said he did, he just doesn't always have time to respond as much as I message him.\n\nI just don't know what to do. It feels like I'm doing all the effort, but I still want to be friends with him.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Guy friend I used to have a thing with doesn't really respond to me. Says he wants to be friends.","rejected":" Not sure if it's worth the effort going through with this friendship with a guy I'm not sure is too busy to be friends."} {"prompt":"Long story short, there was some chick at my work who was always a crappy employee and was a bitch to me. I am her boss but because the way the company is structured and because my boss is a bum, she was never disciplined. The other day she walked out on me so that i had to finish her shift. I had just worked an 11 hour shift and then had to stay an addition 7 hours. I heard through the grapevines that she had been planning it for awhile to 'show me who's boss.' She then goes on her Facebook and tries to talk trash about me. She has even gone as far as calling my corporate office to try and get me fired over making her do work. She is spreading false rumors about me on a daily basis. She is obsessed.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Crazy co-worker is trying to ruin my reputation, don't know how to handle it.","rejected":" dumb bitch trying to rain on my parade."} {"prompt":"So I have a friend whom I only see once a year that is coming down to visit and she is going to spend the night at my place and we're going to pull an all nighter. BEST THING: we're going to get drunk and have sex, we both already know it and we've even talked about it, it's a for sure thing. Does anyone have any fun ideas what stuff we can do? (whether or not sex is involved) we are already planning to hot box my car and watch a movie or two. what are some other fun things to do? I want to do as much as possible since I wont see her till next year and this is the first time were doing this. Throw some ideas.\n \nSome things to consider are that I am living with other people so we will be confined to just my bedroom or out in my roomy car.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm going to pull an all night extravaganza with a friend, want to know fun things to do while we're drunk together.","rejected":" what are some fun and sexy things to do with a friend all night long at my place? (no sex)"} {"prompt":"There were a few break-ins into cars and stuff in our neighborhood. My Dad decided that he wanted to buy a gun to protect the family in case of emergency. So he went out and bought a handgun. As far as I can tell, it's registered and legal. But the gun is making me very nervous and from what I looked up he isn't treating it like he should.\n\n1. He doesn't know how to shoot and doesn't want to learn \u2013 he says in case of emergency that his aim will be automatic and \"the adrenaline will get him through it\".\n2. He keeps it fully loaded all the time. I am the oldest in our house, my brother is 12 and my sister is 14, I'm worried they could just pick it up and accidentally shoot. \n3. He doesn't have a case for it and keeps it wherever he wants. He likes to keep in clean and loaded in case of emergency or whatever and leaves it lying on his nightstand, coffee tables, etc. \n\nAm I wrong to feel like this is unsafe? I tried to talk to him about it and he twisted it into me being an anti gun person and accused me of being brainwashed by Obama. He doesn't want to shoulder the extra expense of buying a case or a safe for it either, and he is very absentminded about where he leaves stuff anyway. I just want him to take proper safety precautions. Our Mom isn't in the picture so I have to figure this out. What do I do? How do I make him understand my feelings? Am I being overdramatic?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My Dad bought a gun. I feel like he's not being safe about it and I'm worried about an accident. What should I do about it?","rejected":" My Dad bought a gun but isn't taking proper safety precautions\/care. I want him to stop, he doesn't see\/hears my side of things. What do I do?"} {"prompt":"So, I have some neighbors. They are not bad people per se, but they have a few habits I'd like to break as they annoy the living shit out of me and everyone else in the vicinity.\n\n-They have an ever-changing array of SUVs parked in the driveway, the grass, and at odd angles in the street. There are something like 10 adults in the house and there's a car for each of them most of the time.\nParking on the grass is obviously against county code, but a complaint gets a code guy out in oh, say....two months and usually in the middle of the day when they're all at work so whoever is home just pleads innocence and that's the end of that. \n\n-Apparently, they have some kind of law that each SUV shall be equipped with a sound system capable of producing bass reaching into the infrasonic spectrum. If they are in one of the vehicles, the music is on and the bass is rattling my windows. Washing the car? Turn up the bass. Sitting on the front porch? Bass! Car in the driveway and nobody's even outside? BASS! I and others have spoken to them about this on more than one occasion, but they seem to forget these conversations after a month or so and go back to cranking the oompa music.\n\n-They also drive like idiots even though we're in a residential area with no sidewalks and the streets are often full of adults and kids. They've been talked to about this, but again with the short\/selective memory.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My neighbors have a shitload of cars, park them all over the place, blast bass-heavy music at all hours, and drive like retards. They do not respond to polite requests to quit being retards.","rejected":" My neighbors are assholes and I want to know how to get them to stop being assholes. I'm not a lawyer, so I'm not looking for a legal solution."} {"prompt":"I have known this girl for about a year, and I am certain I like her and I am almost certain she likes me. She has done all kinds of things convince me she likes me. \n\nWe had food together (just the two of us) a few weeks ago, she got tinder the moment I mentioned it in a conversation, and she kissed me on the neck and cheek at a party the other week. There seems to have been some attempts to make me jealous. My friends mentioned her and another friend was about to go into a relationship when that clearly wasn't the case, they were both clearly not really into it. When I was mentioned in a similar context she almost died of embarrassment (she hid under her arms for a few minutes and went bright pink). We have also told each other very deep and painful parts of our lives, and she has been very good with me about it and said she would always be there for me.\n\nHowever, I think I have not been responding in the right way. When she kissed me I was tipsy and quite shocked so I didn't kiss her back like I really wanted to. I also told her I didn't want a GF a few months ago, when I did but thought that she was too high up socially, and later on she said she didn't want a BF for very similar reasons to me. I also got interrupted today so I didn't get a chance to ask her out like I wanted to. She seems to have been quite down in the dumps this week, and I have only talked to her twice. She told me some sad things about her and I wanted to hug her so badly, but If I had I think I would have been laughed at by others.\n\nI really haven't got any idea of what to do, and I don't see her again until Monday at least. I don't want to ask her out by text since that is really impersonal. Ideas?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Maybe I should have asked her out by text or somewhere else not sure, but it was a complicated situation and I am still not sure if I should ask her out.","rejected":" She seems to like me, I haven't been sure how to tell her without it being horrible and also I have been a little too busy and insensitive."} {"prompt":"Been with a girl almost 2 years now. She finally told her parents we were a real thing. I asked her if her parents knew I was divorced (she and her mom are close). She said no, they can never know. They don't speak English, so I don't know them very well. \n\nHas me having doubts again. I don't like keeping secrets, and this is something huge to me. Not to mention it is a matter of public record, so it's not like you can actually hide it anyway. Makes me really uncomfortable. \n\nThis is on a pile of other things that make me think of calling it quits.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Have been married for almost 2 years, GF hides that I am divorced from her parents. Not sure what to do.","rejected":" GF tells her parents that I am divorced from her. Says they never know, never will. What do I do? Am I a psycho?"} {"prompt":"I am in love with her.\n\nShe is emotionally abusive to me. Whenever we have arguments she uses past arguments as weapons against me, saying stuff like I remember that time when you did this or that and you're mean.\n\nShe uses the past, despite us having resolved those issues again, against me as if they were never resolved. \n\nAlso she never lets me have a chance at discussion; whenever she expresses her dislike of something its more of a rant than a discussion. She goes on and on about how she thinks I did something was mean, then as Im about to reply she goes \"...and then also ____\" and its just a rant and I can't even reply. She makes me feel like a horrible person.\n\nThe problem is the thought of her with another guy and sleeping with him for some reason hurts me incredibly. She's incredibly beautiful so that doesn't help either. How do i overcome this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend is emotionally abusive and I want to break up with her, but the thought of her having sex with another man or falling in love with him hurts me. How do I overcome this?","rejected":" I [24M] want to break up with my gf [23F] of 2.5 years but I'm having trouble."} {"prompt":"I made this a new post but if you look at my post history, you'll see that it's kind of an ongoing issue. The backstory is that I'm dating a guy with two young kids, his marriage ended around three months ago and he has slept around a fair bit since then. \n\nWe had agreed to be \"exclusive\" and I had asked him to delete tinder off his phone and he did. But I know that he slept with at least one of the women who he hangs around with regularly since his divorce. Like they were friends beforehand, then the divorce happened and they slept together, and now they are hanging out \"just as friends.\" I don't think he's lying but it makes me uneasy. I work nights most of the time so I'll hang out at his house until like 10PM, and then he'll tell me this girl is coming over after I leave. It's hard not to worry because he is obviously attracted to her (since they slept together). I told him that it makes me uncomfortable but he says they're just friends, so I don't want to nag him about it anymore, I hate being that type of person. \n\nBesides that everything has been going really good for us. Dating him is like a dream come true and we're having a lot of fun together. He has child care now so we've been able to go on a couple actual dates and they've gone great. We talk about what we want in the future and our plans line up. \n\nOne other potential red flag is he doesn't want to tell his family and friends that he's dating. He's worried they will go off on him for it being too soon after his separation. He doesn't treat us being together like a big secret, like we still go out in public and everything but it still makes me feel weird.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Guy I'm dating has slept around a lot since his marriage ended, he hangs out with a girl he slept with regularly since then. I feel uncomfortable about it. Everything else is going great.","rejected":" Guy I'm dating has slept around recently and hangs out with a girl he slept with frequently. It makes me uneasy, don't know what to do. Everything else about our relationship is great though."} {"prompt":"Short and simple one here, folks. All names, both canine and human, are fake. My fiance (26M) and I are likely adopting a dog who is currently named \"Pearl.\" We're both really into Roman mythology, and would like to rename the dog \"Minerva.\" \n\nIt just so happens that I have a coworker named Minerva. We're not on the same team, nor are we friends, so I really don't talk to her that much, although we are Facebook friends. Given that it's a small office, I do see her often, and I'm kind of worried that it might be awkward when it gets back to her that we named our dog \"after her.\" She'll definitely see our posts on Facebook.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Am I being weird by naming my dog Minerva after a coworker? Is it a bad idea? What if she's a dog lover?","rejected":" contemplating giving dog same name as coworker despite lame connection romantically\/ socially??? negatively effecting forward progress socially and\/or business relationship thoghtwise? regret this dumbass shitty ass decision? need advice pls halp"} {"prompt":"This one comes from the beach down in Corpus Cristi, TX: We were there on a band trip during my freshman year. We decided to have a game of beach ultimate and split up basically seniors versus freshmen.\n\nLate into the game, one senior guy is streaking up the beach toward the endzone and the disc gets hucked to him. It flies out over the water, where my friend Charlie proceeds to lay out parallel to the ground, and make a spectacular flying swat to save the point.\n\nSorry if that had a little too much Ultimate jargon in it.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Visiting Clearwater beach, Florida for band trip. Senior streaking up beach for endzone, disc flies out and my friend makes a flying swat to save a point. What are some beach stories?","rejected":" Visiting Clearwater beach, Florida, and having a kickass time at the beach. What are some beach stories you have?"} {"prompt":"Quick overview: met girl, got number, coffee date. On the date she mentions how she has 2 kids form her ex. I have no problem with kids, so while inconvenient, not a dealbreaker. We go on a couple more dates, start having sex. Yesterday (after hanging out a couple more times), she tells me, oh should've mentioned, I'm 6 months along (from a different guy); yes, somehow I missed this completely (if you knew me this probably wouldn't be a big surprise).\n\nDespite similar senses of humor and the fact that we both liked sex, I didn't really see this relationship going anywhere, and had pretty much told her so (specifically that I wasn't in for anything long term). She seemed ok with that. \n\nNow that I found out about this though, I'm sort of done. It's not the fact that she's pregnant that bothers me, but the fact that she'll soon have 3 kids, one a newborn, a full time job, and online school; I work two jobs and I don't feel like scheduling my life around her. So, basically, how can I break this off without coming off like a complete asshole.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl I've been seeing for 3 weeks told me she's 6 months pregnant. I like her but don't feel like scheduling my life around her. How do I break this off without coming off like a complete asshole.","rejected":" I'm bad at ending things like this, the fact that she's pregnant only complicates it. How do I end it gently?"} {"prompt":"Hey guys I need some serious advice on something, my girlfriend of 6 months is losing her sex drive big time, and its really putting a damper on our relationship.\n\nWe both have talked about it numerous times but at the end of the day I can't shake the feeling that whenever we do it (1-2 times a week) its only because she knows I'll be upset if we don't.\n\nIt never used to be this way when we first started dating, and then she went on BC, which we have both discussed as a possible reason for the decline in her sex drive, but she doesn't want to go off of it and she doesn't seem to mind the lack of sex. \n\nWhat truly bothers me about all of it is that I genuinely feel like she doesn't even enjoy it anymore, and therefore the sex itself is sucking, a lot. \n\nAll I wanna know is if laying off of initiating, (which lately has been every time were alone in my room, and getting denied like 40-50% of the time) will help, or if she will merely see it as a relief and be content with rarely ever having sex anymore. help reddit!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend's sex drive is declining, and I can't shake the feeling that she doesn't enjoy sex anymore.. Is it worth cutting down on initiating, or will this just leave her content with very little sex?","rejected":" Girlfriend of 6 months is losing sex drive and doesn't seem to mind, how do I make her want to have sex again?"} {"prompt":"To start things off, I am a 21 year old college undergrad that has very little experience in relationships in general. But I met this fantastic woman (she's 20) in one of my courses about 2 years ago (same major) and got to be friends with her until about 5 months ago.\n\nWe did everything together: studied together, hanged out, played video-games, you name it. But everything came crashing down when I decided that I wanted to let her know how much I fell in love with her. I knew I had little chance with this woman (she's very attractive), but it was worth a shot asking her out for a few dates.\n\nNevertheless, I gathered all the courage in the world, and told her how I felt and if she would give me a chance to go out with her. Her face had the most soul-crushing expression I have ever witnessed. She blankly stared at me, and went away without any explanation at all. I tried contacting her afterwards to apologize if I did something wrong, but she never answered my calls, texts, messages, etc. And everytime I see her (again, we study the same major) she avoids me like the plague.\n\nSo I've been a depressed and confused since that day, wishing never to have said that, among other things. I do miss our friendship a lot. And I thought by trying to forget everything about her and move on would help, but I still see her now and then, wondering why did our friendship end all of a sudden. What do you guys think that happened to her? Why does she have feelings of resentment on me now?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" met awesome girl, best of friends for about 2 years, told her if she wanted to go out with me, never responded, broken friendship, help me understand what could've happened to her?","rejected":" I fell in love with a girl, told her how I felt, she got angry, and now she avoids me like the plague."} {"prompt":"So I wake up late today, and realize I feel like shit. Nausea, dry heaves, the works. No matter how much water I drink, it's still there. So, I decide to go to the closest dining hall on campus, get some soup, tea, and something like ginger ale to try and ease it.\n\nThis particular dining hall does not have a bathroom, and has these tiny garbage cans.\n\nSo I'm getting my soup, when I start heaving again. This time I puke in my mouth. Trying to hold it in more, so I can find a garbage can, I clamp my mouth shut and cover it with my hand. It didn't help. A few seconds later and there's a large puddle of my vomit on the floor. And on my hands. And on my face. And on my shoes. And coming out my mouth and nose (remember how I clamped my mouth shut?).\n\nThen, before I can fully register what has just happened, I puke again, this time in the garbage can. I *mostly* hit on target. At that point someone from dining hall staff approaches me with a wet cloth, asking if I'm okay, and people are staring. After trying to clean off the best I can, I hightail it out of there.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I go to crowded college dining hall while sick, and end up puking A LOT all over the floor and myself","rejected":" drunkenly puked at dining hall mid meal despite tried compromise measures??? negatively effecting efficient meal delivery process both personally and academically thoghtwise? regret this dumbass shitty ass move I made pls halp"} {"prompt":"First post here. Seemed like the right place for this, so here it goes.\n\nMy girlfriend (24\/F) and I (21\/M) have been long distance for over 2 years now, and I know she's the one I want to spend my life with. I'm a student finishing college, she's graduated 2 years now with a steady job a few hours away. We have a stronger bond than I ever though I could have with another person, better than most couples I know seem to be. I know that I will marry her after college one day.\n\nBut, despite this, I still think about one girl (21\/F) in particular from high school. I had a crush on her during a difficult time in my life, and I want to move on but I can not. I've seen her in my dreams, sometimes even cheating with her there. I have not seen or talked with this girl in years either, so why is she so strong in my brain? Why is this happening? I don't know what any of this means, but I need it to stop. Any help would be very welcome. Thank you.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Long distance relationship for 2 years, have strong bond with girlfriend, still think about high school crush from high school, need help to stop.","rejected":" My relationship with my girlfriend is being inturupted by strong, baseless feelings for another, long forgotten crush and I need help forgetting her."} {"prompt":"So we are both in a club at my university and so hopefully I'll be seeing a lot of her as time goes on. The delema I am facing is how to take things from just being friends to a more romantic\/dating relationship. I haven't talked to her a lot but that's mostly due to my shy nature (I get more comfortable with people as time goes on). I'm almost 19 and I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 15, and even then it wasn't anything serious (was a lame month kind of thing). How do I approach getting a girlfriend since I haven't really done it and I have no idea where to go from here.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm crushing on this girl but I don't know how to get a girlfriend, don't want to just be friends.","rejected":" How should I escalate things with this girl in my university club?"} {"prompt":"So we're taking this chem class. Our batch is divided into two blocks. We're under this professor who is also teaching the same subject to chem majors. He also uses the same grading system he uses with chem majors with us. Most of our block is failing and can't keep up. I can say that I can keep up because I was able to take this subject back when I was in high school. But what about my blockmates? They're requesting for a different teacher, the same one as the other block.\n\nBut this has me thinking. Is this right? I mean, it's a pro that we're getting the same amount of knowledge the chem majors get. Is it really valid if our only problem is that most of us our failing? \n\nI'm having a debate over this with my friend. If you need extra info about the case, I'll just keep you posted.\n\nWhat I think is that there will be subjects where the teacher will be unfair or the subject is hard in college and sometimes we just have to go through it. But then my friend called me insensitive to my blockmates who I'm close with because most of them are failing and I'm sticking with the 'they should just try and get through it' mindset.\n\nAny teachers out there? What do you have on the matter? How about students who may have experienced something similar, any advice?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My friends are requesting for a different professor for chem because most of us are failing. Is this right?","rejected":" Reddit, do my coursemates have the right to ask our university for a different professor?"} {"prompt":"Title says it all. He's in a masters program to further his career while I'm a senior and we are working in a group project together. The first thing that stood out about him is that he is very energized for someone his age and I correctly assumed he had no kids. When we chat about topics outside of the project he has a lot of sage advice about anything you may ask him. He is very perceptive and can read people quite well and is a genuinely friendly person and is always honest (which he admits will get him into trouble with some people). He is well traveled and has had his fair share of adventures and really seems to know how to enjoy life. He is an excellent cook and says most women he starts dating gain 10 pounds as a result.\n\nHe believes his disadvantage in dating is that he's short and balding (he has a great sense of humor about it). Besides that he's in great shape and a very smart guy. He goes to speed dating events but for him that doesn't work well. 4 minutes is never enough to really get to know someone well enough and he cares more about having someone he can be himself around. But what do I know about finding him a date? I'm only 21 years old and I've never really been in a relationship myself. I asked him if he goes to interest sites to meet people where the personality means much more, but he doesn't seem to. He only mentioned considering such sites (and named reddit :D) but he is quite busy with work and school that I doubt he would want the distraction (you ALL know what I mean). \n\nHow do I help him out?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm 21 and I'm not sure how to help my friend [m\/46] find a date. I know nothing about dating older women.","rejected":" I want to help my friend find a date but I have no idea where to begin or how to help him."} {"prompt":"First off, I am a 24 year old male in good health: 5'11\" 165 lbs. I have never had any kind of surgery.\n\nAbout a month ago I played my first full contact sport in my life and got knocked around quite a bit. I experienced soreness in my lower back, but at times there would be a sharp pain from a very specific location on my lower\/middle back. About a month went by and nothing had changed. I feel the pain when flexing\/extending my back, or when working out (squats, deadlifts, bent over rows). Since I first noticed the pain I lightened the frequency and lightened the weight of those specific lifts and just this week had some x-rays taken: \n\nBack-Front View: \nLeft-Right View: \n\nI was told there was a misalignment in L2, and disc degeneration between L4-L5 with small red arrows pointing to bone spurs. I have looked this up online but have not come across anything that is overly conclusive as to whether or not this is the case. I am merely looking for some reinforcement, or other thoughts as to the condition of my back.\n\nLike I said, this is completely new to me, so I am skeptical as to whether or not this is something I need professional treatment for, or if this is something I can treat on my own.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I hurt my back 1 month ago and these are the x-rays. I was told L2 is misaligned and there is disc degeneration between L4-L5. Second opinions? ","rejected":" Scratched a back vertebra and had X-rays taken. Was told there was misalignment in L2, and disc degeneration between L4-L5. What do I do?"} {"prompt":"So my daughter turned 8 a few months ago and her whole life she has been accompanied by her cat. Her cat would sleep with her, follow her around, sit on her lap, and put up with pretty much anything she did to it. \n \nHere is the hard part. My daughter had a hard time closing doors when she is in a rush to go out and my wife or I will shut the door after she doesn't get it all the way shut. Three weeks ago neither of us were in the room when she went out and the door was open for long enough for her cat to get out. \n \nHer cat did not come back. We made lost fliers and posted them around the neighborhood and contacted the local shelters in case someone picked her up. We got a ton of calls but none of them were her cat. \n \nLast week we got a call from the local shelter and they said we should come take a look at this cat because it matched the pictures and age. My daughter was still at daycare and the wife and I were both working from home. We drove up and saw the cat in question and it was ours. She had been mauled, infected with FIV, and couldn't stand up on her own. The vet bill would have been outrageous and we have another cat at home who does not have FIV so we made the call to have her put down. \n \nEvery day since the cat ran away my daughter has asked about her and since the day at the shelter my wife has to leave the room and cry every time she asks or says she hopes she found a good home. so finally, the question: should I tell my daughter that her cat won't be coming back? I have discussed it with my wife and we are in agreement that we have to do something about her asking every day but we don't know if she is ready to deal with the death of a pet.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" daughter's cat ran away and we found her at the local shelter. Should I tell her that her cat won't be coming back?","rejected":" \"lost\" pet"} {"prompt":"Hey Reddit,\n\nSo this was my first serious relationship with this amazing girl and it was almost near perfect. Unfortunately life decisions are causing us to seperate in the upcoming months with atleast a 6 hour difference between us. This distance will not go away for atleast the next 6+ years and I totally realize sustaining a LDR with no end goal is very difficult.\n\nShe said said she would like to break up and become friends as we get closer to going our seperate ways. Initially, I wanted to atleast give it a shot and see what comes of it - and if we were both truly unhappy I would be fine with breaking it off. I understand now, that this will only delay the eventual breakup and I support her decision as well.\n\nI'm having difficulty with realizing what this means though. It bothers me when I realize I wont get to know the little things in her life or be a priority anymore. It bothers me that eventually she will get intimate with someone else thats not me. She was the first person I would tell when something happened to me, now I dont know who will listen to the little things with the genuine interest she had. Again, this is my first long term relationship so I'm wondering does it really get better. Will I wake up one morning and no longer wonder how she is doing? For now, some mornings I wake up feeling physically sick realizing that we will be near strangers in a matter of months.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My SO wants to break up because of distance. I still care about her but the realization of not being close to her ever again makes me very sad. What can I do to cope?","rejected":" GF of 1.3 years wants to break up because of a 6+ hour distance and wants to become friends. I'm having trouble with this and want advice on how to cope"} {"prompt":"I am [18m] in college. I have been out and partying a lot recently, and have met some nice freshman girls on my travels. One girl [18F] stands out above all of the rest. We have hung out a few times over a 2 week period, and each time makes me want her more. When I asked her about dating, she mentioned she isn't over her \"summer fling\" [20\/M] from her hometown. I enjoy time with her over everyone else, but I still want to get out and \"explore\". Essentially, my question is Would I look like an ass for hooking up with other girls while liking her? Could she be testing me to see whether I stick around? What should I do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Like a girl at college, she might be testing me by sticking around with me even while still hung up on ex-boyfriend. Would I look like an ass for hooking up with other girls?","rejected":" I like a girl. She's not over her ex. I want to date her. Should I ask if I can hookup with other girls while we're both single?"} {"prompt":"Hello Reddit. My job history is good and bad. From 2003 to 2007 I was a retail store manager. Between mid 2007 and late 2009, I changed jobs a lot. I had an opiate addiction and it was hard to stay in a place too long, due to being so up and down. Things started to get better as I mentioned above (late 09) and I worked in finance from that date until a month or so ago.\n\nI was wondering if I should mention the other jobs at all, or focus on one or two others. If I do that though, how can I explain the gaps?\n\nI know it seems as if I am focusing on the length of time I have stayed at various jobs. However, I know how important that is, especially in full time roles.\n\nI would really appreciate some help with this matter. If you need further information, please ask.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I started with a job where I stayed nearly four years, worked at four different places after for various lengths of time and stayed at my latest job nearly 3 years. Do I tell about the middle?","rejected":" Have good job history ( recite it) but some gaps in it. How should I display\/explain them in the best light?"} {"prompt":"I like this girl (lets call her Q) and it ended up getting around to one of my friends (who is also a close friend of Q) and she figured out that Q also likes me, but isn't ready for a relationship. She also managed to slip that I liked Q. So Q knows that I like her, and she knows that I know she likes me. I'm just a kid and the relationship will probably end up dead in the ground a few months after it starts but what the hell. I know this is barely even something worth asking for advice but I've never been in a situation like this before so any advice will help. This happened about a week or two ago, and I contemplated asking her if she wanted to come over and play video games (She enjoys playing video games, we both own a wii u and smash and stuff) but I don't want to scare her by coming off as super pushy and stuff. She i only in one of my classes but I still talk to her every day. (over text) I'm not sure what I should do and I'm afraid I will just end up never doing anything at all.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I like this girl, she likes me, girl isn't ready for a relationship, what should I do?","rejected":" Found out girl I like likes me but isn't ready for a relationship, she somehow slipped that I like her. This has already happened and I don't know what to do\/how to proceed."} {"prompt":"A little backstory. This is an indie game dev in Boston that I worked with start-to-finish as a QA Intern on a game in 2010. They just e-mailed me asking if I want to work on a port of that same game along with a new one that I had no part in.\n\nMy friend and I have had plans to move to Chicago, just for fun, for the last 3 months and we plan to leave Wednesday the 8th. \n\nI'm considering staying in Chicago for 2 weeks, beginning work in mid-late August and returning to live with my friend when the job ends in November. I'm 20 and this job would pay more than my last full time job (CSR @ a TAS).\n\nI can't decide what I should do. If you can offer advice it's greatly appreciated!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Should I cancel a move to a new city with a friend to make some decent money in a resume building job for 3 months?","rejected":" My friend and I have had plans to move to Chicago for the last 3 months, we plan to leave Wednesday the 8th. What should I do?"} {"prompt":"When you're single, you don't have to worry about looking good for your SO. You don't have to stress about making your woman happy by doing stupid small things she likes. No arguing over forgetting to put the toilet seat down, no debating over what TV show to watch. No need to blow money on dates. No need to listen about dumb crap that her friends went through. If you want to hang out and watch sports and drink with your friends, you don't need to clear it with \"bae\". Being in a relationship will suck you dry. Not dating\/being in love is much less stressful and happier. \n\nMy friend has been in a relationship for years and his girlfriend is suffocating him with drama and BS and he puts up with it. After personal experiences, I can testify that stressing over someone who may or may not like you, and then finding out they don't and they exile you, is a waste of time. Being single and not romantically interested in anybody is a simpler way to live life.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" When you're single and not in love, life is much easier. You don't have to waste time worrying about the likes of your SO, and you don't have to waste time worrying about whether they like you.","rejected":" Life is much better and less stressful when you are single and not crushing on anyone. Personal experience has shown me that liking someone and dating is very stressful on the soul and body."} {"prompt":"So like many other TIFUs this happened awhile ago. I beleive it was my freshman year of high school when it happened.\n\nI live near my high school so I always walk to and from my house to school. It's about a 10-15 minute walk, and there happens to be a small old persons and adult only hospital on my street. \n\nOne day after school, I was walking home as usual. I had my earphones on and was blasting my music full volume cause I like listening to music as I walk home.\n\nI was just crossing the street on green when I finally noticed that I was the only one crossing and even the cars had stopped. Okay? I though.\n\nSuddenly I look to my right just in time to see the ambulance coming from my street break just before it hit me. It was literally a few inches away from me. I froze for a second, but then broke out of my daze and hurried by.\n\nI still feel so incredibly bad for that, and since then I've never had my music as loud. And I've never walked with both earphones is either..\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Walked home with earphones blasting as usual. Almost got run over by ambulance. Since then I've never walked with earphones turned up as loud again..","rejected":" Was walking home from school, had earphones on, almost get hit by ambulance as it was coming from my street. Never walk with earphones on anymore."} {"prompt":"I'm a junior in college, and is (was?) really good friends with this girl for coming on two years now. For the past... almost 11 months at this point I suppose, we've been hooking up but remaining friends in a pretty weird situation. Well, I discovered she had feelings for me, and found that as I was coming into my junior year I had developed the same for her. It seemed like somehow we were actually going to avoid a messy friends-with-benefits falling out of sorts.\n\nAnyways, she and I ended up having an open conversation about the possibility of dating. We decided that there was some stuff I had to take care of first, but we were both into the idea and agreed to be platonic friends until we would (really inevitably at this point) start dating.\n\nAnd then, a few days after that conversation, I got really, way too drunk and made out with one of our mutual friends. Hoo boy. While this mutual friend and I talked and agreed it was a stupid mistake that we didn't want to repeat, my friend (rightfully so) became very hurt. She went home for the weekend and we stopped talking, but she came back basically saying that she didn't want to cut me out of her life, but that I had really broken her trust, I would have to build that back up, and that our friendship would never really be the same.\n\nHonestly, I deserve all of it - even though it really was a stupid mistake and I would never in my right mind intend to do something like this, the fact is that I did it anyways while drunk and really did fuck up.\n\nI don't know that there's much to do from here - while I'd really still like to date this friend, I can definitely see why that possibility could be off the table forever now. I guess at this point I'd just like to know if anyone has any advice for what to do from here; I'd like to prove to her that I do really care about her and build that trust back up. I really do feel awful about this all. Anyone been in a situation like this? What did you do\/what did you learn from it?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I [20M] was friends with [20F] for two years, I got drunk and ended up making out with a mutual friend. Friend doesn't want to see me anymore.<|endoftext|>Welcome to the FNVRD Gallery","rejected":" I drunkenly made out with a friend of mine, and now that she found out I don't feel like I can date her. Help."} {"prompt":"Over this weekend I was able to meet a remarkable girl. Pretty much from the get go it was obvious that at least I was interested (I drunkenly gave her a flower at a cocktail party to start off our first conversation), but she also ended up hanging out with me the next night as well at my house, albeit with her friend. She knows I have a crush on her. I know she is interested in me at the least as a friend, but I am not fully confident if she is interested as anything more (we've only met a couple days, I'm about 60-70% sure she's interested in me beyond friendship - I thought I heard her asking her friend if it was okay to sleep over at my place but I'm not sure).\n\nI don't have a problem with LDRs provided they are serious but to be honest, I have my own life and school to focus on now anyway. I don't think I want a relationship as of the current moment. I'm more interested in down the road - this is the first girl that I met that is astoundingly pretty, captivating, and is part of my exact same culture (families are pretty much the exact same which I value a lot). Practically speaking, it's perfect material for a serious relationship save for the fact that she lives far away. Which pretty much renders the whole thing impractical as of the moment.\n\nI want to continue talking to her but I'm not sure where or how to gear the relationship. I'd like to get to know her better but also be in a place in the future where she knows I'm (likely) seriously interested and I can figure out if she is seriously interested in a relationship. \n\nI know I've only met her a couple days, but I've just got a feeling on this one...\nTL;DR:","chosen":" met super attractive girl, but feels distant b\/c she lives far away. need advice on progressing relationship despite poor timing considering location of meeting and timing of conversation. help pls reddit pls halp?","rejected":" Met a girl who lives far away, need to know what to do to keep a relationship on the table for the future."} {"prompt":"So she decided we needed some time and space from me on the weekend I was planning to propose (she didn't know about my plans), we got to talking about our relationship and some issues that had been swept under the rug for a while finally came to light on both our ends. After 2 weeks of space and time I started reaching out to try and work things out, she said she needed more time I said we should work on things together, after a bit of a discussion she decided if I can't give her the time and space then it's over and broke up with me. It's been a total of 6 weeks including the time a day space. We've stayed in contact the whole time and some days she seems to be hinting at getting back together and other days she's very standoffish and says we'll never get back together, just give up hope. With all the back and forth, I heard she was dating someone now so I asked and she said she's not, she's just friends with a guy but they're talking a lot and getting to know each other but that's it. Then the next day she's telling me how much she loves me and got upset that I deleted our pics off social media (yet she had unfriended me weeks ago). She says she wants to keep a friendship with me but I told her I can't, not with how in love I still am and specially not if she's talking to someone else because I think it's BS she won't try to fix things with me, but is willing to give someone else her time and attention. I love her, more than I've ever loved any woman before, she's the first and only girl I've ever bought an engagement ring for. My family adores her, my kids have become attached to her and call her mommy, her son has done the same with me and calls me dad. I just don't know what to do now, I'm tired of feeling depressed and being on this emotional Rollercoaster of getting my hopes up one day, and shooting me down the next. What do you guys suggest I do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My girlfriend of 6 weeks broke up with me 6 weeks ago, keeps giving mixed signals about getting back together, I love her more than anything but am tired of feeling depressed and being on this emotional rollercoaster.","rejected":" GF and I have been separated for 6 weeks, I want her back bad, she keeps giving mixed signals. Give up or continue pursuing?"} {"prompt":"I've had my best friend [19 M] friendzoned for 4 years. We met when I was dating my ex, so I never really saw him as anything more than a friend. He's been there for me for everything. He's basically been in love with me since the moment we met. He would do anything for me if it meant that I would be happy. I never thought that I would have feelings for him like he has for me. That is until a couple months ago.\n\n I developed feelings for him, while also developing feelings for my current boyfriend, [21 M]. Everyone told me to give my best friend a chance, but I was afraid of losing our friendship in the process, and I had stronger feelings towards my boyfriend. So I told my boyfriend that I would date him, and now my best friend will barely talk to me and wants to kick my boyfriends ass. Also all my friends are mad at me for the decision I made. I regret not giving him a chance, but I feel like if we were to have dated, I should have feelings for only him, and not anyone else. My boyfriend said he would fight my best friend if that's what he really wants, but I don't want them fighting over me. I'm afraid I lost my best friend and made a mistake in not choosing him, now I don't know what to do. Any advice Reddit?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" chose to date boyfriend over best friend, now best friend is angry at me and wants to fight my boyfriend over me. I regret not giving him a chance. Advice?","rejected":" I chose to date my boyfriend over my best friend, now I'm afraid I might regret it."} {"prompt":"So I work at a family business that is very quickly growing into a large business. I have been working there for 3 years with my husband [32M], both his parents and his sister.\n\nBasically his sister thinks I have been going behind her back attempting to sabotage her part of the business, and I honestly am blown away that she thinks that. While she was pregnant and on leave I helped build her brand into something that could really take off and she really did not do anything with it once I passed it back to her.\n\nAfter a big dramatic event at work, she did not talk to me and my husband for an entire month.\n\nI finally confronted her about it today and told her I was sorry that it seemed like we were going behind her back, but that was never any of our intention and we didn't mean to hurt her if we had done so and I would like to mend our relationship and sister-in-laws.\n\nShe came back and said that I was young and immature and don't think about other people. I apparently am incredibly inconsiderate and am too ambitious. She also says I never should have had anything to do with her part of the business\/brand and that it was my fault that it is the way it is. She says she doesn't want anything to do with us right now and we took too long to apologize to her and her ship has sailed.\n\nI am afraid I am breaking up my husbands family. His parents have only given us bad advice from the start and its really what has gotten us to this breaking point. They kept telling us to move forward with working on her stuff, then when we said we didn't have the bandwidth anymore to the CEO and her boss, thats when she stopped talking to us.\n\nCommunication with her has been out the door since she got pregnant with her first kid. I will admit that my communication should have been better, but she did not make any effort herself.\n\nSo now this whole family fight is my fault and I am the one who just married in and I feel like I am breaking the family apart. How do I fix everything?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" SIL thinks I went behind her back at work and now doesn't want to have anything to do with my husband and I.","rejected":" My SIL wants nothing to do with me after I try to apologize for hurting her and her ship is sailing, but I feel like I am breaking my husband's family. How do I mend it before the entire family falls apart?"} {"prompt":"First, some background information. We are both in high school, I am a junior and she's a sophomore. We're both pretty smart and I'm a bit of a nerd. We both do theater at our high school but hadn't known each other long before our relationship. I asked her out on Valentine's Day, and broke up with her just a few days ago.\n\nPretty much throughout our entire relationship, I felt like I never really emotionally (or physically) connected with her, because whenever I tried to talk to her about something serious (like our feelings for each other, kissing, etc.) she would reply with \"I don't know\" to my questions, and seem to appear slightly irritated at me asking it, although she didn't remain angry at me at all. She told me that she has an in ability to talk about her feelings to others, including her own family, and she gets stressed and \"shuts down\" whenever she attempts to. I really am attracted to her and honestly besides this, she doesn't have a lot of flaws. She's polite, kind, works hard in school, and cares about her future. However, last week I basically told her that i couldn't take the lack of connection anymore and said that we should part ways for now. Obviously I miss her, but I really didn't see any other option. Does she have some sort of actual disorder, or is it just a part of being a teenager? Should I wait and see if she matures to where she's comfortable talking about stuff and then try a relationship with her again? I really just want another opinion in this because I feel hopeless.\n\n(Please only serious replies)\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Dated very briefly in high school. Relationship ended abruptly. Wondering if she has some sort of actual disorder or is just being a teenager and not emotionally connecting with me anymore. Opinions appreciated.","rejected":" Girlfriend didn't seem emotionally mature so I broke up with her, but am wondering what the best thing to do is now"} {"prompt":"So finals week is happening at my uni next week and I've been killing my hours cramming my head in books and revisiting notes. One of my study partners planned to go to the library this morning at 9AM and stay all day, to which I responded, \"I'll swing by around 10 and study with you\", and I was totally going to do that, but I decided to stay in bed until 2 because I was tired. I show up at the library with my Lakers shirt on since they played in my city the previous evening and I forgot to rep the shirt then, and my partner smiles and says,\"Oh you're a lakers fan? I have something to tell you. Guess who I met about 2 hours ago\". Turns out the Lakers practiced at my Uni's gym today before they headed off to the next stop on their road trip. So fuck. I missed my last chance to meet Swaggy P and the Black Mamba before he retires. He is literally 1% of the world that has met Kobe Bryant in person and held a conversation with him. Fuck me. Fuck me being lazy.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Supposed to study with friend at 9AM. Stay in bed until 2PM. Friend meets Kobe Bryant and the Lakers at 12PM. FML","rejected":" I decided to stay in bed until 2 knowing that finals week was coming and missed my chance to meet Swaggy P and the Black Mamba before he retires."} {"prompt":"So a little backstory, my Grandma lives in New York, and my Grandpa died. She has 3 sons who live out there with her, but they are kind of jerks and not helping out as much as they can. So my dad has loosely tossed around the idea of moving to New York...\n\nHowever he has a job, home, wife, car...you know everything here. Well I texted my Step Mom (I said Dad but he doesn't really text) to find out what he and her were up to. Usually see them every week at least...and she lets me know he moved to New York and left everything behind including HER! (She has a pretty legit job she can't just up and leave on.)\n\nOn the one hand I am glad what he is doing helping his mom out. But on the other hand, I feel like it's just a little batshit crazy he didn't bother to tell me he was moving away, and left so suddenly. I'm kind of sad now because I won't be able to fly and see my Dad until at least next year...\n\nMy Step Mom won't be able to move out there for at least a year as well with the obligations they have here (taking care of the home they rent out, job, etc.)\n\nBut it is nice to see my dad do something spontaneous like this, he is not one to just up and really do something...especially if its completely change his life.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Dad casually moves to NY without telling me, leaving everything behind including his wife and kids...what's the most insane thing someone in your family has done reddit?","rejected":" Dad moved to New York without telling me, Step Mom let me know he moved without telling me, and I am sad because I won't be able to see him for a while."} {"prompt":"My boyfriend of almost a year recently broke up with me because he felt like I don't trust him. I've been cheated on in the past and the result was me being very protective of my feelings. I do trust him 100% and I'm usually able to remind myself of that but we've had a couple drunk fights where I couldn't and got mad at him for no reason. I don't know what to do but I love him and I just want to be with him. I just need some advice of what I could say to him so he might consider getting back together or making this a break instead of being completely done.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Boyfriend broke up with me because I don't trust him. He was right about me not trusting him, but I don't know what to say to him so he'll get back together with me.","rejected":" my boyfriend of 1 year dumped me and I don't know how to win back him or what to say to him."} {"prompt":"Hey everyone,\n\nI know these questions are asked often, but like everyone else it seems I am unable to decipher this for myself.\n\nTo add a background: I have known this girl for 4\/5 years (family friends) and we always got along. \n\nShe got out of a 2 year relationship about 4~months ago, she was broken up with, and I think isnt quite over it yet. Still not too sure about that.\n\nAnyways, we recently have hung about a fair amount and alot of people we know are pairing us up together in their minds and letting us know individually, never when we are together, and we have mentioned it briefly to each other.\n\nGenerally I feel like she is acting flirty, although I could be misinterpreting it. However, the thing I have an issue with is that occasionally she still mentions that she loves her ex, this could be her overselling\/wanting some level of attention or deflecting from 'us', or she may still be getting over her ex. Additionally she mentions that she doesn't think she will date for a while.\n\nKnow, I know this seems like I'm reading too much into her 'flirtatious' actions and she may in fact just be acting friendly. But I wouldn't ask this if I thought that was all there was to it.\n\nSo my question is, am I completely off the track? Should I just leave her be? Or should I pay closer attention to the situation?\n\nGenerally cliche I know, but any help would be appreciated.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl acts flirty but may be deflecting\/overselling herself in relation to her ex, not sure if I should move on or pay closer attention to the situation.","rejected":" Girl I have known for 4-5 years now seems flirty occasionally via public posting\/talking. Not sure if its just friendly or if she is actually over her ex. Need advice."} {"prompt":"So me and this guy have been going out for a few weeks, and we were both as happy as could be. We were always talking, and when we were together it was amazing. We were so grateful for each other. \n\nThe other day I was over to his place, and we were alone. We were just cuddled up on the couch and we were having a great time. Then his mother comes home without warning, and we scatter (this was low-key). \n\nI'm pretty sure she caught a glimpse of us together, then he went upstairs for about 10 minutes and comes back down and takes me home, and I thought nothing of it. On the way, he says we should take a bit of a break, and I thought okay, it was a close call, I get it. \n\nThen today he breaks up with me. I was blindsided. This is very sudden and I'm confused and angry (not at him) and crushed. He said he just doesn't feel the same way about me but still want's to be good friends. \n\nHow can someone go from wanting to never let go to not interested in 24 hours? I'm just so confused, I wish I knew what was really happening. What do you guys think?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Me and my boyfriend were having a good time together and suddenly decide we don't think the same way anymore then abruptly break up without explanation. How did he go from wanting to be friends to not wanting anything to do with each other?","rejected":" boyfriend abruptly ends hangout citing personal reasons despite tried compromise offer??? negatively effecting relationship emotionally\/physically thoght wise. unclear motive behind this shady little move possibly stalling progress romantically? need advice pls halp"} {"prompt":"A little bit of history: I'm 23\/m she's 22\/f and we have been together on and off for 5-6 years now. This girl is my best friend and I will probably always love her no matter how things end up. She graduates from school in a few months and has this really great chance for a 1yr + internship in Boston, NY, or NJ (we currently live on the western part of the country) and may end up staying out of state beyond the 1yr if she finds a grad school she likes out there. Now the hard thing is that she wants me to move with her to where ever she ends up going and I flat out told her I wasn't comfortable with that **at all!** I don't even feel comfortable with moving in with her right now let alone leaving everything else behind to move across the country. I told her to go if she gets the opportunity because I'll be damned if I'm the thing to hold her back. The hard part about this is that we already tried the long distance thing at the beginning of her schooling 4 years ago and ended up breaking up for the first year that she was gone. She wants to go and would be willing to try the long distance thing again and keeps asking about my thoughts on doing LDR again. She also wants to try even though she seem hopeful it would work based on past experience and quite frankly I don't even want to try a LDR again (horrible shit). Every time she brings it up she basically leaves the decision on me about what we are going to do and I don't know what to do Reddit. Every time I think about it, something in me can't help but start counting down to the (final) end of our relationship even though I don't want it to end. Any advice? (sorry for the giant wall of text) and I will be happy to clarify anything if need be. Thanks in advance.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" girlfriend of 5 years graduating and possibly moving away for a grad school opportunity, wants me to move with her, I flat out said no and don't want to do LDR again, need advice!","rejected":" GF graduating from college, doesn't want to be in a LDR again, wants me to move with her, I flat out said no, don't know what to do."} {"prompt":"Today I had a really shitty day. Not devastating, just run of the mill awful day. My girlfriend and I had planned lunch during the 1.5 hour break I had between 6 hour shifts at work. I walked 30 minutes in the rain to the restaurant, and find out she brought along one of her friends she knows I don't get along with. The wait at the restaurant is 30 minutes, and I tell her I don't have time to wait that long, but she decides to stay with her friend and eat there. I walk home to eat.\n\nI was really looking forward to that lunch to help me through a really stressful day, and she knew I was stressed and frustrated with work. I feel like she shouldn't have asked her friend to come to lunch. On the other hand, I feel selfish for wanting to keep her from seeing her friend today, because they don't hang out all that often.Am I being selfish and needy, or do I have a decent reason for being kind of upset with her?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend got lunch with a friend during the time I really needed to see her, feel like she should have known I was stressed out with work and angry about it. Am I wrong to feel that way?","rejected":" Had a shitty day, girlfriend decides to eat lunch with one of her friends instead of waiting for me. Am I being selfish and needy for wanting to keep her from seeing her friend today?"} {"prompt":"Sorry this will be long.\n\nI am about to graduate from law school and applied for a job where they are seeking someone with a J.D. to work as a contract manager. I sent my resume and cover letter and was called within 1-2 hours after emailing it to come in and interview.\n\nAs it turns out, the job posting (I am pretty sure at least) only went out to my classmates. I know several people who have applied.\n\nThe interview was yesterday and I feel very positive about it. I tend to interview well, and all the signs from the three different people I interviewed with really made me think I have a good shot at this job. My interview concluded at 2:45pm or so.\n\nI was told by HR that they have \"a couple more interviews this week\" and \"one pushed back to next wee\" but she will contact me either way with an offer or just to let me know they are going a different direction \"soon\" and that the contact should happen \"pretty quickly\" likely within 1 week, and probably not more than 2.\n\nI found out today that a classmate\/friend of mine who applied the same day as me (a week ago yesterday) was called yesterday to come in for an interview this week.\n\nI know for sure they conducted at least two interviews yesterday before the call to my friend to ask him to interview. He and I applied the same day, and I was called within 2 hours of applying the same day, but he was called a full week later to interview. And he was called at 3:45pm so definitely after my interview had concluded.\n\nMy question is, does calling more people to interview mean that they probably didn't love me and are trying to get a bigger interview pool?\n\nI don't know what to make of it, and I am stressing royally because not only is it my dream job, but the pay is simply amazing. However, the pay was not advertised in the job posting and I only found out from the HR Manager at the end of my interview what the salary is.\n\nThoughts?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Interviewed with company yesterday, HR says they have a couple more interviews this week and one pushed back to next wee. Does this mean they didn't love me and want to get a larger pool of interviewees?","rejected":" Was offered job after interviewing, friend was called to interview same day as me, questioning whether or not hiring managers of reddit are trying to create a larger interview pool by calling others to interview after my initial interview?"} {"prompt":"For the last year, I have been in a very sexual relationship with this girl in whom I now see the symptoms of BPD. She's got a boyfriend and while I'm relatively open with my relationships, she gets extremely jealous. There were a couple of times where she tried to blame me for some problem that I really couldn't see myself at fault for. And then possibly as a revenge measure for me not giving a crap, she goes rebounding with some other guy (not even her bf). However after that in her calm episode, she regretted doing that on an impulse and even accepted that she might have BPD after we had a talk.\n\nSo now here's my problem. I'm a student of human behavior and after observing her behavioral patterns, researched a lot on BPD and Histrionic Personality Disorder. There were a few AMAs on Reddit as well and majority say to get out of there and cut all contact. Most of the guys there seemed to have been in serious relationships with the women in those instances. I'm in it for the amazing sex but people say that the manipulation will start setting in. I've already noticed that I've been investing more time with her over the last few months. \n\nShe's agreed to treatment so should I bother being a support figure for her since she's got a bf anyway? Or continue with the sexytimes til things get crazier?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl I've been having sex with got diagnosed with BPD. I'm in for the sex but people say that the manipulation will set in. Should I wait to see if her BPD gets better or cut all contact?","rejected":" Wondering whether to continue pursuing my love interest after I recognized her symptoms of BPD. Also, what are some other options for sex that don't involve manipulation?"} {"prompt":"I'm (19M) at uni, and I've been really close with two of my flatmates (both F) as friends but recently I've been thinking about one of them in a more than relationship kind of way. So when we went out drinking one night, the other friend told me to go for it because apparently she likes me too, so I went for it was amazing but the next day we've just gone straight back to how we were, and she was talking about other guys etc in front of me.\n\n I'm very confused after everything that happened and would like some advice please. I'm not sure whether to really go for it if she's not that interested cause we live together, plus i don't want to make it awkward. Thanks!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I really like a friend and we both like each other, but she doesn't seem to really like me back, and i don't want to make it awkward or have her lose interest.","rejected":" I like my flatmate, she likes me but we're not together, I don't want to make it awkward, advice?"} {"prompt":"We've been together 3 years and have worked out most of the kinks of living 1,000 miles apart, but this is a new challenge. Yesterday he found out his grandfather was in the hospital, so he rushed to his bedside. As of today, his grandfather is unresponsive and is likely going to pass within a few hours. I am making a point to always be available over text, call, and Skype and I'm doing my best to make sure that he feels supported and loved, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough, and I'd do anything to give him my shoulder to lean on right now. It's not necessarily practical for me to fly out because both of us have final exams to take in the next two weeks, and I don't want to burden his family with having to host me. \n\nMy question is if anybody else has advice or ideas on how to best support an SO in a time like this in a way that can be done from a distance.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Long distance boyfriend's grandfather recently died, I'm not doing enough support to help him through it, looking for advice and ideas of how best to support him from a distance.","rejected":" My boyfriend's grandfather passed away yesterday. I'm not able to physically be there to support him, looking for advice on how to best provide support from a distance."} {"prompt":"Hi reddit. I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this sort of question, but I would like some sort of advice on how to go about this situation.\n\nLong story short, I'm basically getting to know this girl that my co-worker was attempting to hook me up with. Unfortunately every time we tried to meet each other, she'd end up not going (she's incredibly shy). This was a problem since I'm now out of the country and in the middle east for vacation with my family. I wanted to meet this girl before I left, but that didn't happen. However, I knew that she was interested in meeting me, so I added her on facebook. \n\nThrough that, we've started messaging each other and getting to know each other. She's a pretty cool chick and seems like an incredible match for me. However, it takes a while for her to reply to my messages. \n\nI recently got in touch with my (now ex) co-worker and she's told me that this girl has been talking about me and says that I'm interesting. But she suggests that I hold out on asking her out due to the fact that she might not be over her previous relationship and is currently only looking for a friend. But she told me to keep talking to her and to ask her out just a little bit before I get back home, which makes sense.\n\nBut I'm a bit wary, I get friend zoned a lot when it comes to women. I just have that kind of...personality that only attracts friends and not lovers :P I'm just worried on how I'm gonna keep talking to this girl on facebook and sort of....keep away from the whole friendzone deal. I'm still out of the country for at least a month, so the messaging will go on for a while. \n\nSo reddit, what advice could you give me? How can I make myself stay away from the friendzone while chatting with this girl whom I've never actually met?\n\nI'm not sure if I worded this whole thing out well, but if there's any questions needed for clarification, please feel free to ask :)\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm currently messaging a girl on facebook, and I need some advice on how to keep away from the friendzone while chatting with this girl whom I've never actually met.","rejected":" I'm going on vacation for a month and want to keep talking to a girl whom I've never met on facebook. How to stay away from the friendzone while chatting with her?"} {"prompt":"We met on tinder and we've been talking on and off for about 2 months now. We made plans in advance for yesterday and we agreed that it would be a date\/hangout mix. He let me know in advance that these sort of things made him a bit nervous and that he's a little shy in person. He drove about 30 minutes to get here. \n\nSo as soon as we met, we grabbed some dinner. With better lighting, I could see him more clearly and he was super attractive. It was about 8pm when we got in, and we literally stayed in the restaurant until it closed at 11 just talking. He paid for the meal while I was in the bathroom. After that, we decided to just drive around. I asked him if he had to be home at any time and he said it really didn't matter. \n\nThe whole date was just a lot of talking and getting to know each other. Near the end of it there was a lot of humor and teasing. He asked me if this was one of my better Tinder dates, and I said definitely. I asked him if he would wanna meet again sometime and he said for sure. However, when the end of the date came (12:30am, my curfew), and when we were sitting in front of my house, I was super confused with the body language. I felt as if I was being really awkward because I unbuckled my seatbelt and looked at him and lingered for a while. He did look into my eyes and at my lips a couple of times, but then he'd turn away and look out the window. We both awkwardly\/nervously laughed. I'm used to guys kissing on the first date it if goes well so I felt bad at this point and so I went home. Wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss or not so I didn't go in for it.\n\nHe texted me when he got home \"You're probably asleep, but, OH MY GOD. IM FINALLY HOME. Let's just say I'm stupid and made a very wrong turn lol\"\n\nWould he have made an excuse to leave earlier if the date was going badly? Do you think he's still interested?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" first date went really well, but awkward body language on the end of date when sitting in front of house, unsure if he wants to kiss\/is interested in me.","rejected":" First date w\/ guy went well, but awkward body language when we were sitting in front of house. Unsure if he wants to kiss or not."} {"prompt":"As with most stories on here, this happened a couple of days ago (Monday). I went to a large Labor Day party in the town I live in, at the request of some of my friends who were playing music at said party. I was standing in front of the stage, just zoning out and listening to the guys play. \n\nAll of a sudden, I noticed two (lady) arms shooting out around my sides. I ignored it thinking she was trying to dance with someone behind me. She continues to dance and makes her way in front of me. I'm still kinda just zoning out and don't really pay much attention, until her face is about two inches away from mine. She asks me if I'm having a good time and I of course say yes. She then asks why I'm not dancing, and I lie and say I don't know how. I proceed to do a kind of stupid shimmy thing, because why be serious? \n\nShe laughed and said that was how she danced too, and started doing it next to me. I continued to do so for a minute or so, and then stopped. She leaned in again and said something, but I couldn't hear her over the music. Instead of asking her to repeat herself, or moving away from the stage and speakers to talk, I proceeded to just give her a small smile, like she said something funny. She kept dancing next to me for a few songs, gave me a weird look, and left with her friend, who I guess was behind me the entire time. \n\nAbout fifteen minutes later, the band takes a break, and my buddy who was playing came up to me and asked me why I didn't dance with the girl. Evidently from the stage he saw her make a beeline for me from the back of the party. Of course, I had just assumed she knew someone in the band and just wanted to be close to the stage. It took me a few more minutes to realize that she was probably into me, and I completely blew my chance.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Went to a party, had a girl come dance up on me, was too dense to realize she was flirting, and blew my chance with one of the cutest girls I had seen in a while.","rejected":" was stood in front of stage at large party bored with music. girl accosted me and attempted flirtatious advances. i stupidly denied her advances mid-way through song. regret this dumbass move"} {"prompt":"My sweet sweet 1 year old Female Orange Tabby has developed this unfortunate habit of chasing her tail and chewing it up. And there is blood EVERYWHERE. We took her to the vet, they gave her antibiotics, put on an e-collar, gave us Composure chews and sent us our way after a $300 bill for the check up, an x-ray (to check if her tail is broken - it wasn't), and all the medication and treats. \n\nBut that was a month ago. Now my baby has an e-collar on day in and day out. I try to take it off when I'm home and supervising but it's still on for the majority of the time. I've tried 'weaning' her off the collar but anytime I've left her unsupervised without the collar I come back to the same scene of blood everywhere. To add to this, the e-collar has given her a nasty case of blackheads under her chin. \n\nI don't know what to do! I can't afford to keep going to the vet for expensive tests and they don't seem to be taking the bull by the horns either. The mentioned starting her on anti-anxiety medication or something for OCD. Is this my only option at this point? \n\nHas anyone else had a similar experience? What did you do?\nAlso, what do I do about the acne?\n\nPlease help, I can't keep watching my sweet girl suffer through all these health issues, it's absolutely breaking my heart because she is truly special and wonderful and I love her.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Cat has been chewing up her tail for months and has blackheads under her chin from her e-collar. Vet checkup and treatment didn't seem to help. What do I do?","rejected":" My cat won't stop chewing her tail, vets won't get her the help she needs, and the e-collar is responsible for giving her acne. What do I do??"} {"prompt":"24F, SO 25M; duration 2 years. I still love him dearly but I'm unsure if we should continue being together. We are both on medication for depression. \n\nFor the past 7 months my boyfriend has been passive and unaffectionate. He ignored my birthday, never wants sex, doesn't want to go out, doesn't keep small promises, never contacted me during a month of long distance (I had to call\/text him constantly to stay in communication). \n\nI've tried to be as understanding as I can, but... I don't think he values my presence anymore. For these past 7 months he wants to be alone 99% of the time and doesn't want to talk or even cuddle for more than half an hour or so. I don't ask him for anything and try to make him happy (give gifts, make dinner, listen and encourage him). \n\nHe says he still loves me and wants to stay together, and that this has been due to his depression. I helped him find a better doctor and a therapist. But our patterns haven't changed, he's still passive and unaffectionate. We've talked about it several times and he's promised that he will change, but he never does. \n\nI know it's not his fault, it's the depression, but I still feel really lonely and neglected. What should I do?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Boyfriend depressed for 7 months; passive and unaffectionate; despite all my efforts and understanding I feel lonely and neglected, not sure if we should continue","rejected":" Boyfriend is depressed and doesn't want to be with me. I still love him and want to stay together. What should I do?"} {"prompt":"So my husband and myself will be doing a year long fundraiser, to help other diabetics Live the Cure, through an active and natural lifestyle. \n\nWe will be climbing everyday for 365 Days across the US to do this. \n\nNow being experienced climbing dirtbags, this is not our first time at the rodeo and we are fully and completely prepared to do this on a shoe string budget and live out of our 84 Toyota Tercel in necessary. \n\nHowever a trip of this size and length clearly would be much more comfy with a little leg room and a traveling homebase to keep other interested via blogs and what not. \n\nSo that being said, if you know anyone that would be willing to donate\/loan their (working) RV or Travel Trailer to us for this cause send them my way. \n\nand just so you know I'm not full of shit. \n\n[LIVINGVERTICAL] \n\nIf we weren't trying to make an impact on difference in the feeling of dread that accompanies a Type 1 Diagnosis and just wanted to climb everyday for a year for funsies, I wouldn't be trying.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm trying to raise money for a charity that helps diabetics live the cure.","rejected":" ? Type 1 Diabetic. Climbing everyday for 1 year to raise money to educate other Type 1 Diabetics that life doesn't have to suck just because your pancreas does. [LivingVertical]("} {"prompt":"We've been together for about a year now and overall, its been the best relationship of my life. My boyfriend is a great guy and always so sweet to me, we always have a great time together and have had no major issues. \n\nTheres just one thing that potentially worries me and may be a red flag, and thats that he seems a little obsessed with money. \n\nMy boyfriend owns his own business, and a few other side projects, that makes him quite a bit of money every year. \n\nHe seems to be pretty into the fact that he makes a lot of money to be honest. Like, for example, he's sometimes mentions how rich he is or talks about getting more money. \n\nAll the music he listens to is pretty much about money. \n\nWe've had discussions, and he told me that the only thing that really drives him and that he's passionate about is money. \n\nWhen I've asked him about his goals, its literally just about making as much money as he can. \n\nHe carries about 10,000 dollars in cash with him and pays for a lot of things with 100\/50 dollar bills. \n\nAlso he does this weird thing every now and then where he'll literally just sit down with a stack of cash that he withdraws from the bank, and count the money while listening to rap music. \n\nIt's not like he's ever been a douche or acted like he's better than anyone because of his money, but to be honest Reddit, it does weird me out a little, and makes me worried that he is shallow. \n\nI have no idea why he's like this, he comes from an upper-middle class house, his siblings and parents are not like this at all, and he doesn't seem to have any other obvious issues or insecurities. Its not something that has caused any negative consqeuences in his or my life, but its honestly a bit strange. '\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My boyfriend has a strange obsession with money, its not a problem in my life, but for some reason I feel like he is shallow and doesn't seem to care about anything else.","rejected":" Boyfriend seems to be obsessed with money, and I'm worried he's shallow about it."} {"prompt":"Hello, Reddit. I usually don't post much but this is a big problem for me and I would like to get more points of view, information regarding the situation, and any possible courses of action I could take to help.\n\nFirst off, I would like to say I love reading both this subreddit and r\/longdistance. I love seeing how supportive you guys are and it restores my faith in people quite often. I like reading both subreddits when I'm upset.\n\nMy girlfriend, lets call her Samantha, has a lot of issues with her home life. Her mom is bipolar and quite frankly nuts, she has these episodes where she physicially abuses Samantha and her younger siblings that live with her. She has gone as far as throwing razor blades and glass objects at her. Samantha does everything she can to make her mom calm down, but sometimes this is just met with even more violence. Her mother will hit the younger kids as well and Samantha does her best to protect them and stand up for them. \n\nEven when she isn't going through an episode like this, Samantha's mother doesn't treat her well in any respect. She gives her the responsibilities of an adult, yet treats her like a child. Samantha has 2 facebook accounts, the initial reason being that her mother wouldn't let her talk to her dad and his side of the family, but now she uses it a lot to talk to my mom and I. Her mother knows the account information for her original one and goes on there and reads her conversations and such. She does everything she can to control every aspect of Samantha's life. It seems like she's even trying to break us up, but I doubt that's going to work out for her.\n\nMy mom told her that we would all come up with something together to do to help her, but I honestly don't know what kind of a solution could be presented. I would love to hear reddit's opinion and if you guys think there's anything we can do to help her. We are all here to support and and do whatever we can.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" GF's mom is abusive and controls every aspect of her life that she possibly can. Would like to know how I can support her\/possible courses of actions I could take to do anything about the situation.","rejected":" Girlfriend's home life is abusive and wrong. Her mother is mentally ill and violent and will beat us all. What can we do to help her?"} {"prompt":"I started college when I was 17 and knew what I wanted to do right off the bat, so at this point I've been in my field for nearly a decade (I had a job in college in my field). I also got married at 19 and had my first child at 20, and I'm very good at my job (I'm a graphic designer\/marketer) so I am in a position in life that is usually normal for someone about five or more years older than I am.\n\nI feel capable at my job and in my element running meetings with men twice my age, but every once in awhile someone I work with in some capacity will ask me how old I am. Frankly, I don't want to tell people, I'd rather it be ambiguous. I've noticed a marked difference in the way people respond to me once they have confirmed that yes, I'm younger than they think I am and don't just have a fantastic skin care regimen. How do I respond? Do I lie? Do I just live with it? Is there any professional way at all to respond to that question without saying 'none of your business'?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" How do I respond to people I work with asking how old I am when I know in my heart that I don't want to tell them, but some of them ask anyways?","rejected":" nosy people want to know how old I am, how do I tell them they're not supposed to ask people that."} {"prompt":"I really hope you guys can help me on this one.\n\nSo I'm very technology savvy. I have worked in computer repair and the IT field for the last 7 years.\n\nI met my girlfriend her freshmen year of college (I was a sophomore transfer) and we've been dating each other our entire college career. She's graduating this year (I graduated last year and came back for an MS). I worked on her computer about a month ago because it was running slow, freezing, etc. so I looked at it over a night. While I had her computer, my curiosity got the best of me.\n\nI found myself in a junk folder that had a lot of misc stuff in it, under which I found a pro-con list that turned out to be about myself; the things she liked (pros) and the things she didn't like (cons). I saw it and it kind of shook me up. I didn't sleep well that night, as I drempt she broke up with me. The next morning I told her about the dream. She consoled me and said she wasn't breaking up with me anytime soon.\n\nMoving on, I found she had created an account on a dating advice forum, and I found all of her posts. The first ones were from back when she was in high school. Later on she posted about us. The most recent one was a day before our four year anniversary. It was asking for advice on how to break up with me because she is no longer happy in the relationship. In it she states that some of her friends and family have been telling her to break up with me for well over a year. We're involved in a lot of the same things, so it would be awkward for both of us to break up.\n\nIt's now 8 months later. I have never seen any signs from her personally that she is displeased with our relationship. I love her so much, but now that I've seen this, I feel she just puts up a front to make me happy and not make life a living hell while we still spend time together.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend posted on a dating message board in an 8 month period asking for advice on how to break up with me. Don't know what to do.","rejected":" Girlfriend broke up with me because she's unhappy and now posts on dating advice forum asking for a breakup. How do I handle this?"} {"prompt":"I have been working with Stacie for about 5 or 6 months now. We have been talking more of the past couple of months since I was moved to the same position as her. A couple times we have spontaneously gone to a movie or had a few drinks after work, and she's also hung out with me and my friends a couple times. \n\nSo I finally forced myself to ask her out and actually acknowledge it as a date. I think she had fun. I did. We make each other laugh a lot. \n\nBut the problem is I overthink everything. I talk to much. She makes me an idiot. I don't know if it's because she's slightly older than me (all my other interests have been my age or slightly younger) or if it's because I actually have my first googly-eyed crush I've had in a long time. \n\nIt's like there's a wall that's preventing me from being fully comfortable around her because I'm so worried I'll say something stupid. All other girls I've gone out with have always gave me clear signals and mostly made moves on their own, and I've always been able to easily being open and myself. With Stacie, she definitely does not broadcast her interest in me, I have no idea what she's thinking, and I'm shit at making any kind of gesture towards intimacy. I can barely look her in the eyes, it's dumb and I know it's dumb, but I cannot break through that wall. \n\nThis has never happened to me before. I know she likes me and we're going on another date, I'm just worried I'll continue feeling this way.\n\nMy thoughts are all over the place. Let me know if anything needs clarifying.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" finally asked out girl i work with, got along great but got intimidated by her due to lack of signals\/inability to maintain confidence and ease up around her. Need advice on how to deal with this.","rejected":" finally asked out girl I work with, getting along great. Worried about confidence because I'm having trouble maintaining eye contact\/communicating affection due to overthinking things. Help?"} {"prompt":"So I'm a guitar player in a metal band. I've been in the band for about a year now and it's been really fun, but lately I just don't see it going anywhere and I am getting increasingly annoyed by my bandmates. The reason I joined was because the old guitarist who was an original member quit and they needed a new guitarist\/songwriter. Since the time I've been in the band, we've gone through 2 drummers and our current drummer is alright, but he's very young and still not quite at the right skill level. Our singer is the only original member, so it's like \"his band\" but to be honest, he seems to care the least about everything. He's completely ignorant about music and about equipment and he really brings nothing to the table since he is consistently broke and not a very bright dude.\n\nThis is where the situation gets sticky. I currently live with the bass player, we have an apartment together and our lease is up in September. Our friendship is basically based off the band, so I'm afraid that if I quit, he's going to be mega pissed at me. I would try to explain how I feel about the whole situation to him but he's kind of stubborn and I predict he will throw a shit fit about the whole thing.\n\nI've worked my ass off holding this band together and I just don't see the point anymore when it's mainly me doing all the work. I do most of the writing, the band uses my van to transport gear, so that means that I am always the one driving and responsible for loading\/unloading. A lot of the time I'll get fucked over by one or more of the other guys in the band and have to unload all the gear with just one other person, while the other guys go out to another show or to a bar.\n\nSorry for the wall of text, just looking for some advice to handle this situation as best as possible so I can stay friends with these guys.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm in a band, I don't see it going anywhere, what's the best way to handle this situation?","rejected":" I want to quit the band I'm in because the old guitarist quit and they needed a new guitarist and singer. Since I'm the only original member I'm stuck doing all the work."} {"prompt":"I married my ex-wife because I knocked her up and yeah, that was two stupid moves. We got divorced maybe a year and a half later. The divorce was really stupid, and she was really bitter at first, but 10 years later we have a pretty good co-parent relationship. She's been married 8 years, has two kids with her current husband. I've been married 4 years, and have no kids with my wife.\n\nMy ex-wife calls me crying last week because she thinks she's getting a divorce. Friday she tells me she was served with divorce papers. I tell her about my wife going insane and getting locked up in the mental hospital, and that we're probably getting divorced too.\n\nShe jokingly said that we should rent a house and be roommates. A few hours after getting off the phone with her, I was like, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I talked to my ex-wife some more and I told her that it sounds like a good idea, but it's really something I need to think on. I don't want to be setting ourselves up for failure.\n\nIt sounds like a good idea to me. Split bills 50\/50. No romantic interest between the two of us. Get to see my son daily.\n\nMy mother brought up that this wasn't a good idea because we have bad history together and would fight. But my ex and I have agreed that we would not be romantically involved if we moved in together.\n\nAlso, a friend said this could be bad for my son if he thinks his parents are getting back together. We divorced when he was 1, so he has never known us together.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Ex-wife is getting a divorce, I might be getting a divorce, ex suggests moving in together as roommates.","rejected":" My ex-wife and I are probably getting a divorce. My ex-wife is probably getting a divorce too. My son will be extremely upset if this ever happens. Anyone have thoughts?"} {"prompt":"I'm at my local library a lot, for the obvious reasons - mountains of books and a peaceful place to study. There's a reference librarian who works there, and I've had the massive hots for him since day one. He ticks a lot of boxes for me - tallish, sandy-haired, soft-spoken, well-dressed, good-looking in a flawed, accessible way. Plus, you know, he's a librarian, which is sexy. I also know from his staff bio on the library's website that he got his master's in the same town I lived in a few years ago, and the I'm tickled by the fact that we both lived there and ended up here, halfway across the country.\n\nThere are two problems here:\n\n1. I'm usually not good at cold approaches. I have a reasonable amount confidence in my ability to talk to strangers comfortably\/engagingly, but I'm also introverted and neurotic and often don't have any idea how to go from Interest to Interaction. If someone strikes up a conversation with me I'm usually game, and if I can find a good excuse to chat someone up I'll sometimes go ahead and do it. I'm just a little stuck in this particular situation. Partly because ...\n\n2. I'm hesitant to approach people while they're on the clock. I've worked my fair share of jobs in which I was required to interact with the public, and I always hated it when a customer would try to pitch woo at me - the pressure to be polite is enormous, even if you're cringing inside. I'm not saying I'm gonna start pelvic thrusting at this guy while he's trapped behind his desk until he starts crying; I'd just like to talk to him a bit while also being sensitive to the fact that he might not welcome flirty interaction while he's working.\n\nPeople who are wiser and more well-adjusted than I, please advise. Should I even bother? If so, how should I go about it?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" I'm a 30 year old woman with a crush on a 30 year old man who works at the local library. Should I even bother? If so, how should I go about it?","rejected":" I'm smitten with a guy and not sure if I should try to initiate contact with him because I panicked and choked when I came up against someone I find attractive before."} {"prompt":"My Uncle passed away last week. I loved him like a father and he helped pay for my college. He called me 'Ladybug' as a nickname and always has. Since he has passed, I just don't want to be known by that. My sister [28F] [24F]and cousin have been calling me this because it reminds them of him. \n\nWe got into an argument over it. I told them I don't want to be called Ladybug, it's something special I shared with my Uncle. I want to be known as Ellie, like they have called me for [25 years]. \n\nI am not really willing to compromise on this. At this point I kind of want to take a break from them. I am mourning and they keep reminding me of him in painful ways. \n\nAny idea how to handle this?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Uncle passed away. My family is using his nickname of Ladybug. I do not want to be called that. How do I get them to stop?","rejected":" Uncle passed away. My family is using his nickname of Ladybug. I have expressed that I want to be known by another name. How can I get them to stop?"} {"prompt":"I realized tonight that I can't seem to figure out this situation.\n\nI'm transgender (female pronouns), and have been using a new first name since about October. She's very supportive and uses my new name all the time. Sometimes she slips up and uses my old name, but corrects herself right afterwards.\n\nThe problem is when she's upset with me. Every time, without fail, she uses my old name without correcting herself. It feels like shit and makes things worse because it doesn't exactly put me in a mindset to try to resolve things.\n\nI'm recovering from a long period of depression and inactivity and there is A LOT going on in my life right now. I'm trying to stay afloat at a new (wonderful) job, which is difficult after such a long time of inactivity. Coming home, I just want to hide in my room and shut down for a bit. Instead I'm expected to help with anything she wants me to do at a moments notice, and when I say no she gets upset and calls me by my old name. \n\nI told my boyfriend about it and he thinks she does it to hurt me. I found myself coming up with all sorts of excuses for her behavior. She only does it when she's stressed or unfocused. Then again, today she used it three times in a row. When I corrected her, she said \"Sorry.\" in what felt like a rather unapologetic tone. \n\nI need some outside perspective here. I'm looking for rooms to rent to live somewhere else, but I don't know when I'll be able to find anything. Am I being unreasonable when I need time alone, and refuse to drop everything whenever she needs something done? Does habit and stress excuse her from calling me something that's hurtful to me? I really don't know.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Mom constantly uses my old name when she gets upset with me. Is it wrong to expect her to correct herself?","rejected":" My mom uses the wrong name when she's upset with me. She only does it when she's stressed or unfocused."} {"prompt":"We have been together for almost a year now, but currently we are in a LDR. She moved away for school. She used to hang out with this guy friend who she said that she has a hunch the guy might have feeling for her, but he was her good friend. I didn't mind her hanging out with him and I really do trust her. She came back for a month during the holidays. Everything was great.\n\nShe went back last week, and on the first day back, she made plan to have lunch with the guy friend the following day. They went for lunch\/brunch, hang out, go tea shopping etc. Again she said that she is pretty sure that he likes her. I told her that I am uncomfortable about this. She said that she absolutely has no feeling for him. I don't think its wrong to hang out with a friend, but I feel uneasy with her hanging out alone with a guy that has feeling for her, which might give him hope. She has many other good male friend and she do hanging out with them alone from time to time which I don't mind at all. This dude is the first one that I feel uncomfortable with.\n\nWe end up having a bit of a discussion. She said she will not be hanging out with him alone anymore because she does not want to risk the relationship. I told her that I really don't mind her hanging out, although it feel uncomfortable, and asked her to be careful, and not to lead him on without knowing.\n\nIs there anything else I should bring up with her??? Is it insecure of me to feel that way?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" LDR gf start to hangout with a guy friend, he probably has feeling for her, I feel uncomfortable, told her, discussed, she said she won't be hanging out alone with him anymore, conflict feeling...","rejected":" GF is hanging out alone with her guy friend that most likely has feelings for her, I told her I feel uncomfortable about that. Is there anything else I should bring up?"} {"prompt":"Hey guys I need some serious advice on something, my girlfriend of 6 months is losing her sex drive big time, and its really putting a damper on our relationship.\n\nWe both have talked about it numerous times but at the end of the day I can't shake the feeling that whenever we do it (1-2 times a week) its only because she knows I'll be upset if we don't.\n\nIt never used to be this way when we first started dating, and then she went on BC, which we have both discussed as a possible reason for the decline in her sex drive, but she doesn't want to go off of it and she doesn't seem to mind the lack of sex. \n\nWhat truly bothers me about all of it is that I genuinely feel like she doesn't even enjoy it anymore, and therefore the sex itself is sucking, a lot. \n\nAll I wanna know is if laying off of initiating, (which lately has been every time were alone in my room, and getting denied like 40-50% of the time) will help, or if she will merely see it as a relief and be content with rarely ever having sex anymore. help reddit!\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girlfriend of 6 months is losing sex drive and doesn't seem to mind, how do I make her want to have sex again?","rejected":" my girlfriend is losing her sex drive, and its hurting our relationship. what should I do?"} {"prompt":"Title explains it well enough. I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago, I'm over her, and very much in love with my current girlfriend. After my ex I went on a bit of a spree, seeing a couple of girls, none of which I developed feelings for, although they did for me. I did \"try\" to see if I just wasn't realizing that I had feelings for them, but honestly there was no chemistry. I enjoyed that for a while because I was enjoying someone's company (hanging out, having sex) without the fear or going through the pain I did prior in my first relationship. I know now that the spree was a bit childish, and I regret continuing with those girls although I didn't feel anything, but I've definitely grown, and it's brought me to a relationship where I'm feeling feelings I've never felt - I'm so relieved I actually am feeling these things again, and in even greater magnitude. \n\nMy issue is this; my first relationship, I wasn't scared of living through the end of it because I didn't know what heartbreak was, I had no context and thus no fear of an end. Currently, I'm so very much in love, I have a consistent fear of reliving the pain that I did in the past when my last relationship ended, and even more so because given how in love I am currently, I'm afraid the sadness of the heartbreak will also be greater in magnitude as well.\n\nIs this normal? I know i'm being too much of a pessimist, I really don't think this relationship is going to end anytime soon, but I too frequently think in worst case scenario\nTL;DR:","chosen":" how do I get rid of this fear of this eventual impending doom when the impending doom is honestly no where in sight?","rejected":" I [20M] broke up with my ex [23F] a while back, I'm in a good relationship right now, and I really don't know what to do..."} {"prompt":"My wife has a dilemma (and by proxy, so do I)...\n\nShe's become quite frustrated with the job opportunities in our area. Her education is a combination of business and IT, you'd think that would be a good combination, but she hasn't been able to find a job she's been happy in. She seems to be able to snag IT positions fairly easily (especially internal desktop support), this is because HR departments seem to go all wobbly in the knees when they see a women in IT, but when she gets into the job, no one respects her as IT is, lets be honest, dominated by neck-beards and people who just like hearing the sound of their own voice. Any ideas she comes up with are often regarded as bad ideas initially, but after a week or so, a guy draws the same conclusion and its the greatest idea in the world without any credit to her.\n\nCurrently, she's in a low-pay customer service position, not her ideal job. We would move to another city, but I've found a very good job that's helping to solidify my career that I can't give up (I also work in IT, and I can't believe the crap she has put up with as I definitely don't notice the same in any recent jobs I've held).\n\nSo, she's expressed an interest in working from home, obviously these kind of jobs won't be posted on a local job site, is there a resource out there that actually guides you to from working from home? I largely considered 'work-at-home' jobs mythical in nature, since most that I've heard of are held by people who were already in a high-paying position at a company and could transition to being remote only.\n\nBackstory\nTL;DR:","chosen":" wife has trouble finding a job, but is considering working from home because of frustration with current job opportunities, would like advice on how to find legitimate jobs working from home.","rejected":" spouse stubbornly postponees pursuing employment thru remote work despite tried compromise??? negatively effecting career progress both personally and financially thoght-wise? want change this dumbass shitty ass policy of hers please pls halp"} {"prompt":"My 3 year old GSD x Husky rescue stayed with some relatives for a few days while my boyfriend and I moved house, and the relatives found an old choke chain to walk him with, instead of his Mekuti harness. We have had real problems with him pulling on the lead, and the Mekuti harness has worked wonders, but didn't eliminate the problem. He hasn't pulled when on the choke chain at all, even when it was first put on apparently, so we think that is what he was trained on (and damage from that process is probably why his barks and whines sound a bit odd). We now think the people who had him before us were violent towards him (if you mime kicking he runs across the room terrified), so, my question is: he is best behaved on walks when wearing a choke chain, and it isn't hurting him at all, but will the harm chokers and the people using them caused him in the past affect him in any way now? I 100% DO NOT want to use a choke chain on him and I don't think anyone should ever, ever train a dog that way, but this chain is the only lead we've used that has completely solved the problem with him pulling, and he hasn't seemed stressed out by it. If he ever started pulling on the lead so that the choker was tight, I would stop using it straight away. The last thing I want is my dog being hurt. If I'd known these relatives were going to put one on him, I wouldn't have let them look after him. Still, it works and doesn't hurt him, my only worry is it'll do psychological damage somehow.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Presence of choke chain makes walks much easier without ever choking, harming or stressing out my dog, but is it bringing back bad memories from his previous owners?","rejected":" dog isn't pulling on choke chain, but has good behaviour when on one. will this make him more vulnerable to people\/choke chain in the future? unsure on course of action to prevent damage."} {"prompt":"For example, \n1. pretending to be hurt and then pulling a knife to rob the person who comes to help. Or \n2. there's a fight or someone is in trouble and the good Samaritan goes to help the victim but is also beaten up by the perp. \n\nIt feels like society is getting more suspicious and distrustful of one another. You often hear stories of passer-bys ignoring someone clearly in trouble simply because they don't want any trouble and\/or are afraid. Personally as a tiny girl, I would like to help anyone who needs it but often have to think twice, just in case. I hate having to worry and second-guess if someone really is in trouble or out to hurt me.\n\nAlso, an interesting distinction between the two examples above:\nIn case 1) Intentionally baiting a good Samaritan Vs. in case 2 where you did not intend to bait the good Samaritan. Perhaps higher penalties should only be enforced in case 1?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" do you think there should be higher penalties if you commit a crime by against a good Samaritan? If so, why\/how?","rejected":" there are more reports of random people ignoring injured people\/victims and doubting each other\/society because of distrust, should higher penalties be applied in such situations?"} {"prompt":"Long story short -- We dated for about a year and 1\/2 I moved for my job we couldn't handle the distance and we end our relationship. Months go by, I see him Friday night and he is very poliet and nice and after we started drinking he started pouring his heart out to me. The next day he calls me twice in the morning and I missed the calls, try to call him back. Doesnt answer, wait a few days, send him a long message, and it said he read it, and has still said nothing. Should I pretend like it never happen?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Ex-boyfriend confided in me, said some deep things, said nothing since, should i pretend it never happened?","rejected":" Ex-bf of 1.5 years went full blown confessional on me this weekend. Should I pretend like it never happened and pretend like nothing ever happened?"} {"prompt":"I'm a 22f and my boyfriend (21) and I have been together for a little over five months. Not very long, but I feel like he's the best boyfriend I've ever had- at least the most romantic and thoughtful. He's so many things I feel like I want in a man: open-minded, smart, somewhat adventurous, thoughtful, sweet. He's even open to moving around (not always easy to find in Southern LA guys), has an adventurous appetite, AND is great in bed. He's VERY good at communicating, and understands himself well emotionally. He's the most affectionate, thoughtful, and communicative boyfriend I've ever had. But I've been unhappy. Almost this whole time. I don't know if it's the relationship or if I'm overthinking and taking things personally. Or maybe both? I feel like there's something wrong with me that I can't seem to enjoy a relationship with this wonderful guy who's worst characteristics come down to laziness, not having his life 'figured out', and being a bit quirkier than most of my friends. I keep telling myself that we can be happy, that I'm just getting in my own way with negative thoughts, but I have trouble stopping those negative thoughts. \n\nMy friends and family think this friendly, charismatic nerd is so wonderful and such a great match for me, but I don't know. \n\nIn past relationships, and now, I have a problem with maintaining my independence\/being happy when alone. I'm not sure how complicated this all really is, but it feels like it's pretty complicated.\nTL;DR:","chosen":" My boyfriend is great in every way, but I'm unhappy in the relationship. I have trouble enjoying the relationship because I keep thinking negative thoughts about him. Am I trying too hard to make this work?","rejected":" I'm 22f and my boyfriend is 21. I'm not sure if I'm just being a bitch, or if I'm just being a bitch because I'm unhappy."} {"prompt":"I really don't know how this is going to go over because it's the old friendzone story and I feel pretty guilty about it. I met a smart, stable, funny guy on Tinder. But I have no interest in kissing him or doing anything intimate with him, even though he's good looking! Of course I couldn't tell I'd feel that way until we met in person. \n\nObviously Tinder guy does want a relationship. And I'm very bad at telling people things they don't want to hear. I haven't dated much and I don't really know how to handle this. How can I approach him without hurting his feelings? How likely is it that he'd want to be friends with me after meeting me in a romantic context? I want to keep him in my life solely because there are so few people I legitimately enjoy spending time with. We chat often by text and on FB but this really seems like the sort of thing I should talk to him about in person. Or maybe not, since we've only been on one date?\nTL;DR:","chosen":" Girl meets boy, boy seems really into girl, but girl doesn't return the sentiment and is too awkward to know what to do. Is friendship with him possible or am I too much of a walking clich\u00e9? Dammit. Help.","rejected":" How do I tell a guy I'm interested in him without saying he's too good for me? How likely is it that we'll stay friends?"}