Activity 3: Answer guide for choose a strategy to respond to bullying Strategy Main points about this strategy When is this strategy a good idea to try? When is this strategy not a good idea to try or not useful? This activity will help us learn more about when to use the strategies. Some of these will work sometimes. Some of them work better for some types of bullying. Some of them work if you do them right from the first time you get bullied, but might not be much help if the bullying has been going on for a long time. And sometimes they won’t work, and you need to get help to stop the bullying. We will talk about when each strategy might be good to try. NB: The key sensitivity with teaching students about these strategies is avoiding implying that students must use them, or are failing if they can’t deal with bullying themselves. It is understandable if a student does not feel they can stand up to bullying; bullying is disempowering. It can be scary and hurtful. Ignore them Bullying can happen because the person doing the bullying gets a reaction they like. So sometimes the best response is NONE! It’s normal to feel bothered, but don’t let the other person see this. The main thing is not to show any reaction, so you are acting like you are ignoring them. If you can, turn your back and walk away (see next strategy). It doesn’t mean you should pretend the bullying didn’t happen though. You might still want to try one of the other strategies like ‘Get support from your friends’. For verbal bullying and some social bullying. When you feel safe to get away without being chased/pursued. When you have somewhere safe to go nearby. NB: Teachers who suggest this strategy of ‘Ignore them’ to students when they report being bullied must give students much more information about how to do this, and what to do instead. This might not be useful/good: If someone is hitting or physically hurting you. If someone is breaking or stealing your things. If you think they might pursue you if you leave. If you have a long way to go to somewhere safe. If bullying has been going a long time. If you can’t hide your reaction. Tell them to stop and then walk away
The main thing is to talk calmly and firmly. After saying something calmly, leave the situation as soon as you can. Walk away as calmly as you can (and if you need to, show your feelings when you get somewhere safe). Another important thing is to use okay language that doesn’t make the other person annoyed. If you feel in danger, tell someone immediately. For verbal and social bullying and for threats of physical bullying. If you can get away somewhere safe fairly quickly. This not be useful/good: If you feel too upset to talk calmly. If you’re on the bus or somewhere you can’t leave. If you think the person will say something like ‘Just make me stop it’ or make it worse. For physical bullying — hitting or other sorts of hurting your body. If someone is stealing or breaking your belongings (you might need adult help immediately). Pretend you don’t care and act confident The main thing is that you act as though you are unimpressed or you pretend you don't care what they say or do. It is also important to use okay language that doesn’t make the other person annoyed. One way to look confident is to use 'fogging' to distract or discourage the person without making them annoyed. ‘Fogging’ is making a joke or funny comment that makes the other person think you don't care about what they say, or pretending to agree with them so they have nothing to bother you about. For verbal and social bullying. If you feel safe staying in the area. If you can make quick jokes. This might not be useful/good: For physical bullying. If you feel too scared to talk calmly or your voice might shake and show you are upset. If you feel in danger (then you should tell someone immediately). Find somewhere safe
The main thing is to realise that sometimes the strategies don’t work and students can’t work it out for themselves. In this case, you need to report it to an adult — a teacher, parent, other carer, or another adult. Another important thing is that you might need to keep asking for help until the bullying stops. If you’ve tried a few things and the bullying hasn’t stopped. If you feel in immediate danger or you have been assaulted; contact the police. If you feel afraid all the time at school and you can’t think about schoolwork. This may not be effective if the adult is busy. Choose a time when the adult can listen to you or ask them when would be a time you could talk to them later about something. If you can’t find an adult to listen to you or take your worries seriously, you could call Kids Helpline. Summary, wrap up At the conclusion of Activity 3, summarise the key findings from students’ discussion. You might like to present this handy reminder ‘summary’ of what to do: usually the best immediate response to physical bullying is get out/away; to verbal bullying is saying something calm (like ‘Whatever’, ‘Yeah, yeah’); and to social bullying, giving no response. Stress that students should get help for immediate danger. Remind them also that reporting bullying is not the same as ‘dobbing’. The school wants to know and ensure the school is a safe and happy place for learning.