Possible Effect on Mother Possible Effect on Fetus, Newborn, and Child Alcohol Lack of certain vitamins Miscarriage Stillbirth Low birth weight Intellectual disability Heart problems Learning and behavior problems Fetal alcohol syndrome Cocaine Seizures Hallucinations in the lungs (pulmonary edema) Breathing problems Heart problems Placenta abruption Miscarriage Stillbirth Low score Stroke Deformed reproductive or urinary organs Sudden infant syndrome (SIDS) Ecstasy Effects not known Long-term memory problems Learning problems Heroin Preeclampsia Bleeding in the third trimester Placenta abruption Breech birth Seizures Addiction, withdrawal symptoms after birth Breathing problems size at birth Physical and mental development problems Inhalants Life-threatening breathing problems Convulsions or seizures Coma Low birth weight Problems with how bones form Learning problems How Alcohol and Drugs Affect Your Pregnancy, Continued Substance Possible Effect on Mother Possible Effect on Fetus, Newborn, and Child Marijuana Preterm labor Tremors Easily startled
Trouble trusting others Learning problems Toddler 1-3 years May see loss as irreversible May cry or appear uninterested in food, toys, and activities Now Regression to an earlier stage of development, may begin to wet May stop talking or not start talking when most children his/her age begin May become too dependent or to independent Later Develops a need to be always in control Has trouble learning to aware of his/her own needs Has problems developing appropriate relationships with others Keep routines the same: e.g. meals, bath, bed every day at the same time. Say things like, “it’s OK to miss your Mommy and Daddy. I know it must hurt.” Don’t pressure the to do things he/she was doing before the loss: e.g. giving up the bottle, eating with utensils, potty-training. Prepare the child for moves. Understanding How a Child Responds to Loss, Continued Age How the Child Sees and Reacts to Loss Possible Effects of Loss What You Can Do
Preschool 3-5 years Knows that a loss has happened, but often sees it as temporary Is very curious and may ask sensitive questions with manner May feel abandoned Now May feel that he/she caused the loss by thinking ”bad things” or “wishing things change” – magical thinking Has trouble understanding “good vs. bad” Blames himself/herself for the loss Has problems developing a positive Encourage the child to express his/her feelings through play. Provide ways for the child to remember the people and places he/she is separated from. Reassure the child that you will take care of him/her. Grade School 6-12 Now understands that a permanent loss cannot be reversed Often feels responsible for the loss, may see it as punishment for something he/she has done or thought Often hides his/her feelings about the loss, carrying on as if nothing has happened Feels vulnerable and different from others Now Lack of energy to do things Chronic grief Later Ongoing problems in school, including difficulty making friends Problems knowing right from wrong Encourage the child to talk about his/her feelings and don’t be judgmental. Give the child clear information about the loss to reduce his/her feelings of responsibility and/or guilt. Understanding How a Child Responds to Loss, Continued Age How the Child Sees and Reacts to Loss Possible Effects of Loss What You Can Do
Adolescence 13-18 years Understands that a permanent loss cannot be reversed Does not blame himself/herself as much for the loss Learns to understand how this loss will affect his/her in the future Now May feel hopeless, out of control, different from others May have school problems, including choosing friend who are “troublemakers” May show fear, unhappiness, anxiety, denial or trouble getting close to others Later Suicidal behavior Antisocial behavior Be open and honest when the youth asks questions. Encourage him/her to talk about his/her feelings. Be available, but allow the youth time alone. Involve the whenever possible, in making decisions. How to Keep Youth Connected 1. Information They Need What do they need to know in to live in the world?