The Experience of Separation from the Child’s Point of View, 25 minutes Note to Trainer The intent of the following activity is to help participants see that from the child’s point of view, separation from their family is a traumatic incident; and to make participants aware of situations or behaviors that might make the child uncomfortable and those behaviors that provide comfort. For this portion of the training, you may choose either the guided imagery option, or the planning activity option. Guided Imagery Note to Trainer Read the following guided imagery aloud, slowly and reflectively. If you are standing, sit down. Use pauses throughout. You need to allow time for the details to sink in so that the participants are emotionally involved. Narrative The next activity is a guided imagery. It will involve using your imagination and putting yourselves in the place of a child who is being removed from their parent’s home. The purpose of this exercise is to see things from the child’s point of view; this is a critical competency for foster/adoptive parents. Going through this exercise can trigger strong reactions of sadness and hurt, because we all have gone through experiences of loss and separation, and the feeling around those events can be reawakened by this activity. You are welcome to “tune-out” or Planning Activity Note to Trainer Distribute paper. Narrative Let’s talk plans. We all make plans for tomorrow, next year and the future. Plans are made with excitement and hope. Take a moment to write down a few bullet points about each of the following questions. What are your plans for tomorrow? Include people who will be with you, place(s) you will be going, and what items you will have with you. What are your for 1 year from today? Include people who will be with you, place(s) you will be going, and what items you will have with you. What are your plans for 10 years from today? Include people who will be with you,
leave the room at any time if you need to. Relax, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and try to clear your minds of all other thoughts. [BEGIN] Imagine that you are a child. You are in your home. Take a moment to think about that home – the neighborhood, the house itself, the rooms. What does it look like? You live there with your mother, and maybe a father, or even a grandparent living with you. Maybe you have a pet. Think about your home, your parents, or anyone else who lives with you. It is now evening and you are getting for bed. You notice a police car drive up and stop in front of your house. Your first thought is, “Oh, no, not again!” A police officer gets out of the car and you hear the sound of feet pounding up your front steps. You hear a knock at the door. You quickly rush downstairs. When your mother opens the door, there is a police officer and an official-looking person who says that he represents the State. You remember that you have seen him before and talked with him at school about your mom and those bruises from your mom’s old boyfriend. He your mother that you must come with him. He asks your mother something about your medication, and says something else about the police and a judge. He says to you that this must be difficult, but you need to come with him, and you will be safe. When you try to ask questions, the man says there will be time for questions later, but right now you have to hurry up. You are rushed place(s) you will be going, and what items you will have with you. Discussion Have the group pair and share, share by table, or share in a large group, by letting a few participants share some of their plans. Then tell the participants to tear up the sheets of paper with their plans. Tell the class those plans no longer exist. They will not happen. Ask the large group the following questions: How are you feeling about your plans being changed in a moment? How does this experience relate to the experience of children and youth who enter care? Note to Trainer Distribute tape. Narrative Now put your back together using tape. Discussion Allow participants 5 minutes to tape their plans together, and then lead a large group discussion about children coming into care. I.e. each child or youth has plans for tomorrow to attend their second grade class to see their friends, and 1 year from today