him and Lucy once had, and I asked him why he couldn’t still do them? Why he couldn’t do it for himself? I let that sit over a few days, and even though nothing came of it at the time, he started to think about it and think about the future. I learned a lot about myself while just being David’s ‘friend’, and felt like I helped him, by just listening and offering support. When it came time for me to move back to Vancouver Island, I went to say goodbye, as David was in Detox, he gave me something he made in his first attempt at treatment, it was a coaster, and he thanked me for “being there” and for “caring”. He told me he would be clean and sober one day, and that he would make sure I knew. Turns out about two months ago I received a message from a lady at the Center of Hope, relaying a message from David, he has been clean and sober for eight months, he’s doing well, and that he wanted me to know, and to say thanks again. Analysis At the time, I wasn’t sure what I was doing or what I should be doing, all I knew was that somebody trusted me and needed me to listen. I was sure there was more I should have done, or could be doing, or there was someone much more qualified than me to be helping in such an intense situation. However looking back now, I know that what I did was ‘care’, I provided trust and support, showed empathy and simply listened, and this is what he needed. I was being ‘human’ and caring for him, I was myself; there was no hidden agenda, no expectations, no diagnosing, observations or explanations, just another human there for support. Watson offers the idea that human caring is based on human values such as “kindness, concern, and love of self and others” (as cited in Rafael, 2000, p.37). Human caring is about being with the other person fully, experiencing together, joining together in a relationship focused on healing. I believe I was selflessly there for David, through his journey of healing, we went through his experiences,
thoughts and feelings together, and we developed a trusting- healing relationship. Establishing a helping-trusting human care relationship is pivotal in Watson’s Caring theory, and the Human Care process (Rafael, 2000). When I look back at what started the relationship, or ‘friendship’, I believe that it was trust and comfort. David got familiar with me; he began to see who I was, and what my intentions were. When I started making conversations with him, and joking around, he started to feel comfortable, he noticed I wasn’t trying to ‘get anything out of him’, and he could just talk to me. The more we talked, the more David realized, he could trust me, Burnard (2005) suggests keeping trust requires “attentiveness to the quality of listening and respect offered to clients; appropriate ways of communicating that are courteous and clear; respect for privacy and dignity” (p.244). I believe through showing David I was listening and interested in what he had to say, communicating with him respectively, showing support, and explaining that what he said would stay between me and him, the trust developed. Watson suggests that one aspect of human care requires knowledge of “how to comfort, offer compassion and empathy” (1999, p.74). At the time while helping David, I wouldn’t have identified the knowledge I had in comforting, compassion and empathy, however looking back now, I can see this is exactly what I was displaying, and believe it is a part of my human nature. Compassion is said to be “the capacity to share another person’s suffering and appreciate their humanity and vulnerability” (Barker, 2009, p.610). I believe I offered compassion to David, by listening and attending, being present and available when he needed me, not judging but accepting him, and sharing in his suffering and experiences, but not taking them away from him. With offering compassion, I believe one needs to show empathy, and empathy is said to be “The ability to perceive accurately the feelings of another person and to communicate this understanding to him” (Burnard, 2005, p.103). I conveyed empathy to David when I showed him I understood how he was feeling and what he