relationships being good and strong. Stress and Support - Charlotte What me feel most stressed? How do I usually react to being stressed? What helps? What can I do? What I would like you to do? If I am not clear about something, what is expected of me, and I will procrastinate, I ‘mull’ things over constantly in my head, internal dialogue with myself so I can appear distracted, Pull weeds in the garden, walk dog, to get a bit of head space. Talk to someone who can ask good incisive questions. Deal with my frog thing Keep lists Give me space/time to think when I am appearing really distracted Feeling insecure and anxious. Feeling what I am doing is not good enough or inadequate. Thinking there is a hidden agenda, people not sharing honestly what they feel so I am left guessing or worrying, Waking early and restlessly, I get three day headaches, stop doing any exercise and shoulders creep up, I eat badly and skip meals. Mulling things over in my head Check out assumptions, be brave. Get some fresh air. Talk to someone objective, not part of the situation to help me get perspective. Honest timely feedback. Ask me how I am Not having space to do things without constant interruptions, Snappy and irritable with my family, Count to 10! Don’t go to me to ask for things, try to figure things out first and then check If you still need to. you’ll get better quality thinking if you can find a time I am not having my attention split, e.g when several conversations are
going on at once-I really struggle to follow things if it gets chaotic Not having a clear deck around me, feeling reasonably on top of my home environment, childcare, reasonable tidiness I get constantly distracted, I feel out of control and irritable I snap at my family I work till late at night which helps calm me, but only if I get enough sleep the next day. For my family-lots If on the phone, I am usually multi tasking clearing up at the same time. Don’t be alarmed by strange noises. Feeling like I am being ‘nagged’ or not allowing me to sort my own priorities If I am stressed because I feel I am ‘dictated’ to I may start to react a bit like a teenager, dig heels in and get uncooperative. Tell people this is the effect I am experiencing Adult to adult conversations definitely work better, be clear and honest about what is going on. Stress and support-Michelle What makes me most stressed How do I usually react to being stressed What helps What I can do What I would like you to do Feeling overwhelmed I’ll be working on Sundays too keep on top of my to do list. I’ll experience bad sleep patterns and have stress dreams. I become impatient, less diplomatic, snappish. Become more forgetful. be more realistic how much time things take Ask me if I am feeling on top of things. Having really good recorded decisions and actions helps me. Checking out how my Sundays are to prompt me to look at my behaviour, asking me how my fitness is Unsure/unclear what I am supposed to be doing Takes me much longer to respond to queries or I procrastinate. Continue to ask questions I am clear. Be patient with my questioning. Check out with me if I have enough information. Stress and support-Jo What helps
What me most stressed How do I usually react to being stressed What I can do What I like you to do Under estimating the amount of time it will take me to do something, particularly writing and then not having enough time to do it I will work evenings and weekends to catch up on work, then feel over stretched and frustrated. Be really clear that these sort of tasks take me longer than it may take other people, negotiate this and then schedule the appropriate amount of time in my diary as if it is a days training. Understand this make take me longer than it may take others and make sure I am scheduling it in my diary. Feeling overwhelmed with the amount of admin work I have and not enough time to complete it all. I will work evenings and weekends to up on work, then feel over stretched and frustrated. Be really clear that these sort of tasks take me longer than it may take other people, negotiate this and then schedule the appropriate amount of time in my diary as if it is a days training. Understand this make take me longer than it may take others and make sure I am scheduling it in my diary. Feeling overwhelmed with the amount of admin work I have and not enough time to complete it all. I get so overwhelmed that I end up not doing anything as I can't see where to support Use my coding process on my to do list every day so I am clear what I need to do. Ensure I always have an day each week. When people don't listen to me and what I am trying to say. Not heard. I will either be angry and then be more vehement in what I am trying to say, I may come across as angry or I will completely shut down. This I do when I am very stressed about a situation. Prepare myself well when I want to say something is important to me. Self coach myself to prepare. If I appear to be angry about an issue or withdrawn, understand that I don't feel I have been heard. Please give me the time and space to say what I need to say. Not being really clear on what I am supposed to be doing I will procrastinate and not get on with the task. Always check that I am really clear what I need to do Please talk it thorough with me again, even if you have done this before.
What makes me feel most stressed? How do I usually to being stressed? What helps? What can I do? What I would like you to do? Having too much on the go at one time. I love being busy but sometimes can take on too much. I go into “I am responsible for everything” mode and that I haven’t done something that I should have or feel that anything I am involved in that hasn’t gone well will be because of my bit. I start double checking things or ask others to check things that I would usually not need reassurance about. I struggle to switch off. Recognize that I have too much on. Ask to talk things through with someone. Say no if asked to do something else. Notice if I start to ask for reassurance about things I wouldn’t usually and ask me how things are going. Know that I find it hard to say no, so if I do it’s because I really need to. Know that it will have been really difficult for me to say no in the first place. If I think I’ve done something that I could have done better. I will go and seem a bit low. Be subdued. I prefer to take time to think it through and then seek someone specific to discuss this with. If I know it is an irrational concern I may just keep it to myself and it will blow over. I would prefer to go to someone to talk this through rather than be asked. Not having the opportunity to talk things through if there has been disagreements or misunderstandings or if I’m worried about something and I’d worry about this, but would act on it as soon as possible. Continue to do this. Be available to talk it through as soon as possible as this will prevent me from worrying about it until we talk.
can take on too much. skipping meals and working late into the evening and at weekends. I also find it hard to keep focused and may miss things. If this is not addressed I may become physically ill someone to help me prioritize. Say no if asked to do something else. Also notice if I am not completing things you have asked me to do. Know that if I say no to something, it’s because I really need to and please don’t try and persuade me to change my mind. When people don’t listen and hear what I am saying I feel angry and hurt and will repeat what I am trying to say. I may also disconnect and not communicate at all (I do this when I am most stressed) Recognize when I am becoming stressed and use NLP tools to help me understand what is causing this. Use a different way to communicate If I appear to be angry or hurt about something, ask me what is wrong and listen to how this is affecting me, so I feel heard. If possible help me find ways of resolving things. When I am not included in decisions which affect me I feel angry and frustrated will disengage in the process Recognize when I am becoming disengaged and use NLP tools to help me understand what is causing this. Let people know how I am feeling If I appear to be disengaged something ask me if I am ok and if I have been excluded please explain the reasons Know that I want to be involved in all decisions which affect me. Stress and support Ruth 2014 What makes me most stressed How do I usually react to being stressed What helps What I can do What I would like you to do Being bombarded with e-mails and detailed Go very quiet, avoid responding to people. Reply to emails with a one word answer to Let people know when I am feeling like this. Talk it through with someone. Prioritize things Pick your moment and ring me for a conversation instead of sending loads of
information when I have loads of things going on. get it out of my head quickly. Can be a bit sharp and emotional. so that molehills don’t become mountains. Delegate tasks to others and let them get on with things e-mails. Have a laugh with me. Feeling overly controlled. Loss of control I will kick back against the control and become a little rebellious. Rationalize why this is happening. Understand where the other person is coming from. Do not be condescending towards me I will even stronger if I feel this. Tell me straight but leave me to come round I usually do when I have had the chance to think things through. Not being organized or having everything that I need to do something well. The more stressed I am the more I feel the need to be organized, overly organized. I will be irritable. Avoid eye contact and be less inclined to see others points of view. Ensuring that I have all the things I need rather than leaving to the last minute. I usually have Saturday or Sunday 5-7 to I have everything I need for the following week. This helps me to find a balance. If I am avoiding eye contact or a little irritable out that I am okay, a quick chat usually does the trick. Perceived criticism from others. I can react defensively and go away to mull things over. Once I have done this I will come back to have a conversation with you. Be balanced in my thought process. Don’t overly react or become overly defensive without thinking it through. If you need to tell me that I need to do something different or you need to give me criticism ask if its okay and if I want to hear it. I always will but it puts me in a better place to and I feel in control. Our person-centred team review 13th December 2013 What is Working What is not Working Diverse experience/ expertise in team Not always using PPM principles in meetings (2 ticks) Our ‘reputation’ (2 Learning and development opportunities as a team. Sharing knowledge/ skills with each other. Lack of shared responsibility e.g. Facebook/ 100 one-page profiles (6 ticks) Not always using PPM in meetings... but PPM is flexible!! (joke- but really about being flexible and not dry) Laughter yoga Fab Friday Forecast Not seeing some people for ages
Share top tips – Facilitation- Training Decisions: Everyone called ‘associates’ We (including Gill G) ‘associates plus’ name to be agreed in the future At least 1 day whole team Associates plus go to Midships Attendance on other meetings based on agenda Signature – Name, Associates, HSA Actions: Get Highrise App – iphone – all Password (organisation2) Jan- Alert re sending contract – Michelle Doughnut re Highrise - Michelle What one skill would make a huge difference to a) you personally b)HSA as a team (HELEN) New break even daily rate Financial info to everyone each month Outcomes Actions Who When Everyone can use Highrise confidently and effectively at all times All to get Highrise app for mobile phones. Password is organisation2 All 31-1-14 To create a “doughnut” about using Highrise and share with the team Michelle 31-1-14 That everyone uses the new system for generating contracts To share the new customer journey with the team. To create an alert for Jan that says the contract has been sent. Michelle 13-1-14 Team to have up to date financial information and to know how we are doing as a business To check what the break even daily rate is and share with the team from new financial year To share financial information with the team monthly