Explain techniques that can help us better cope with stress. We all experience stress at one time or another. However, we can take action to assess and relieve the stress in our life. First, we do some self-analysis to determine the stressors in our life and how we handle it. This emotional intelligence skill (self-awareness) allows us to see what we need to improve upon. Then, we can apply self-management tools to help us manage the stress in our lives. The benefit of this identification and management is that it allows us to relate better to others both in our work life and personal life. Look at your habits and emotions and really think about what is causing the stress. For example, Julie may be stressed about a project due on Friday, but the real stress may be because she procrastinated in starting the project, and now there isn’t enough time to complete it. Or perhaps Gene is stressed because his personality type causes him to put too many things on his to-do list, and he isn’t able to get them done. Accepting responsibility for the role we play in our own stresses can be the first step in maintaining a life with mostly positive stress! Next, we can look at the way we currently deal with stress. For example, when Emily is feeling stressed, she smokes a pack of cigarettes and tends to have several glasses of wine at night. When she isn’t stressed, she doesn’t smoke and may limit herself to just one or two glasses of wine every few days. Some people smoke marijuana or use other drugs to cope with the stress of everyday life. These substances seemingly help for a period of time but prevent us from actually dealing with the stress—and doesn’t help us to gain skills in self-awareness. Understanding your current coping mechanisms for stress can help you determine what works to manage stress—and what doesn’t. Figure 3.6 The Four As for Dealing with Stress Once we do some self-analysis, we can use a method called the four As. The four As gives us four choices for dealing with a stressor: Avoid the stressor. We can try to avoid situations that stress us out. If watching certain television programs causes stress, stop watching them! Spend time with people who help you relax. We can
People with a relater style like positive attention and want to be regarded warmly. They want others to care about them and treat them well. Because relaters value friendships, a good way to communicate well with them is to create a communication environment where they can feel close to others. People with an analytical communication style will ask a lot of questions and behave methodically. They don’t like to be pressured to make a decision and prefer to be structured. They are easily recognized by the high number of questions they ask. Table 4.1 Which One of These Communication Styles Do You Tend to Use? Factors Expresser Driver Relater Analytical How to recognize They get excited. They like their own way; decisive and strong viewpoints. They like positive attention, to be helpful, and to be regarded warmly. They seek a lot of data, ask many questions, behave methodically and systematically. Tends to ask Who? (the personal dominant question) What? (the results-oriented question) Why? (the personal nongoal question) How? (the technical analytical question) Dislikes Boring explanations/wasting time with too many facts. Someone wasting their time trying to decide for them. Rejection, being treated impersonally, uncaring and unfeeling attitudes. Making an error, being unprepared, spontaneity. Reacts to pressure and tension by “Selling” their ideas or becoming argumentative. Taking charge, taking more control. Becoming silent, withdrawn, introspective. Seeking more data and information. Best way to deal with Get excited with them, show emotion. Let them be in charge. Be supportive; show you care. Provide lots of data and information. Likes to be measured by Applause, feedback, recognition. Results, meeting goals. Friends, close relationships. Activity and business that lead to results. Must be allowed to Get ahead quickly. Likes challenges. Get into a competitive situation. Likes to win. Relax, feel, care, know you care. Make decisions at own pace, not feel cornered or pressured. Will improve with Recognition and some structure with which to reach the goal. A position that requires cooperation with others. A structure of goals and methods for achieving each goal. Further development of interpersonal and communication skills. Likes to save Effort. They rely heavily on hunches, intuition, Time. They like to be efficient, Relationships. Friendship means a Face. They hate to make an error, be wrong, or