With gaping mouths, the people on the street. Just touch me. See? I am corporeal. Too much in the flesh—this pain in my skull. . . SHAKESPEARE I don’t understand! MARLOWE There’s more, my dear, In this world, than our minds can make clear. I have to warn you, boyo, watch your back. They tortured Kyd, you know? On the friggin’ rack. Mauled his fingers. How will he hold a pen? Our Virgin Queen keeps tigers in her den, And throws them poets. Poor Thomas Kyd In agony, wondering what he did. He finally told them what they longed to hear. All those atheistic papers up his rear Where he hid them--I wrote every word. I’m lying about him kiestering them. A turd Is what they should have found up there, inside, Had they looked. I bet they wanted to abide In Kyd’s tight ass. I know I did, I always wanted just a piece of Kyd. He was brave and noble, a better friend Than I deserved, dear Will. I’ll have to rend Up what I owe to him, somehow, someday. SHAKESPEARE You’re a talking nightmare. Go away! MARLOWE I look that bad? I’ll try to drop the rhyming couplets. Does that help? I spent so much of my recent life with them, it’s hard to stop. Hero and Leander, my epic poem. Unfinished. It’s about love, Will. A new discovery for me. Because of Tom. Thomas Walsingham. I must get back to him. Fuck politics, Will. Nothing ever changes. A cold bed is the world, without love. SHAKESPEARE
Have pity on me! I have work to do! The audience is voracious. They don’t know when the theaters will be closed again. I’m on the fifth play in three years. I’ve nearly given up acting for now—had to. I’ll do soldiers, servants, messengers, ghosts, women--those with few lines. I’m talking to myself. [Shakespeare tries to slough off what is clearly an hallucination by using his hands, the way you’d try to brush away a web you’re about to walk into] MARLOWE To whom are you waving? SHAKESPEARE I’m not acknowledging you. You’re in my head. And I need my head. I’m revising Richard Three and trying TO WRITE A BLOODY COMEDY!!! MARLOWE Listen to me. I have been places, Will. I have been on the road, before I fell down in it, outside your door, and I have seen some heavy, heavy shit. Like…I’m in Deptford, right? And I’m arguing with these lowlifes, Queen’s men all, this spy scum I’m pounding down the Rhenish with, flavored with some berries—not bad—piquant, as if flavor ever mattered to me. I must do something about my drinking. SHAKESPEARE You’re Marlowe? No. MARLOWE Yes. So Frizer, with the black teeth, is across from me and reaches over andddd……real blackness. Pain. And then I’m falling violently into a channel of colored like laundry, man, and I’m hearing this beating of a huge heart and I’m thinking “that’s the dragon” and it’s waiting for me with an open mouth of blackened, broken teeth like Frizer’s and I’m afeared as in the Bible--don’t want to admit it. I’m thinking, fear leads to God leads to guilt leads to fear leads to God and that cycle will warp your reality until you believe all kind of crazy-ass delusional shit, like
I’m a lady, son. And what makes you so fine that you address me Like for a price I’d let you caress me And in that bed do whatever else is in That writhing, wretched mind, chock full of sin? So this is where you live, you dramatists? I wouldn’t stay here if God Himself insists. SHAKESPEARE [to MARGARET] He was here. ANNE [about how filthy the room seems to her] God? No, it was the Other, Definitely Satan. MARGARET [to SHAKESPEARE] Who? SHAKESPEARE Your brother. MARGARET William, you must remain sane. I need you To see things as they are and not construe Your grieving dreams into what’s happening now. DOROTHY [entering, dressed a cleric] Forsooth, your landlady is such a cow. MARGARET Dorothy! What? You’re dressed as a cleric? Why?
Irony will rule. This other realm I went? They said the opposite of what they really meant. If something’s really good, then it is “bad.” If you don’t give a damn, you say, “so sad,” And with a fake unhappy face, they send, Letters made of light, upon the wind. Magic or witchcraft? I do not believe it. It’s all in if we can or can’t perceive it. That Latin word, “data”—I like the sound. There’s so much unnamed data all around. We call it magic, fear it, and condemn it. And so our progress always has this limit. Copernicus is right, of course, surprise! The Pope can’t see it, with his own two eyes. Into heaven Three-Day-dead Jesus rose. He didn’t see that either, yet he knows. ANNE You! Tossing your godlessness like a ball We’re supposed to catch. DOROTHY Are you dead or not? MARLOWE Pissed out the window. Couldn’t find the pot. SHAKESPEARE You’ll get me evicted! MARLOWE Oh, I think not. She watched. Some women like to watch men pee. It’s not surprising or a great mystery. I arched it for her. She loved that and smiled. A sonnet could not have left her more beguiled. DOROTHY He didn’t piss. He didn’t have the time.
SHERIFF He was brawling in some tavern. His buggery Didn’t make him less a man, in my mind. They say he stabbed Ing Frizer from behind. That’s crap. But now Kit Marley’s body’s missing. MARLOWE [unseen] Perhaps he’s using it. SHAKESPEARE For reminiscing. Visiting old haunts, and new ones, too. SHERIFF Who said that? MARGARET I. SHERIFF Don’t think so. MARLOWE It’s me. Boo! SHERIFF He’s. . .a ghost? SHAKESPEARE Not really. He’s an actor In a play we’re working on. MARLOWE I’ll factor In that compliment you gave me.
SCENE FIVE~ [SHAKESPEARE, MARLOWE, MARGARET, DOROTHY and ANNE are back in Shakespeare’s rooms. MARLOWE is still in his costume as an Elizabethan Jew. SHAKESPEARE is continuing to write.] DOROTHY You can drop the costume and the ruse. ANNE He always had a weakness for the Jews. MARGARET And who can blame him? They’re much persecuted, More than sodomists and spies, and executed. ANNE You always take his side, and what’s resulted? He thinks you love him best when he’s insulted. MARGARET How did I insult him? You mean, just now? ANNE Calling him a spy and sodomist, you cow. MARGARET Well, to him that’s not an insult. And take that back, “You cow” is an ad hominem attack. ANNE “Ad hominem”? A cow? But you’re no man. MARGARET You want to hit me now? Where is your fan? ANNE Oh, that’s a manly answer! Look at these tights. What’s in that codpiece? She always loses fights—
MARLOWE Life imitates art imitates life, so I am drawn to dogs and what they know. In this case, they knew more and won the day. DOROTHY They invited you to this soiree To find out what you knew and then— MARLOWE --snuff. As you would a candle: “Out! Enough!” [mimes a candle flame being snuffed] “We’re done with your jokes, libels and your rhymes, Your brawls, your lads, your atheism, your crimes, Your School of Night and its profanity, The portrayal of the Bible as insanity, The corrupting of our Virgin monarch’s lover, Not to buggery, but to dark books you discover. You’re a bad boy, Mr. Marlowe, we surmise, You brought it on yourself, your own demise.” SHAKESPEARE Enough self-pity and self-congratulations. I’m now concerned about the allegations. I’m no spy, but my plays do have criticisms Of the powers that be, even in my witticisms. What happens to the Queen’s jester? MARGARET It’s you, Or Ben Jonson, or Thomas Kyd, or— DOROTHY Kyd’s through. He can’t hold a pen. My brother said In his last letter. Might as well be dead.
SHAKESPEARE The pressures to write plays will never end! DOROTHY I wish we had that paper— MARGARET There’s no mystery. It was ridiculous-- MARLOWE But now it’s history. That document will outlive me, yea, all of us. On an exam: “Marlowe died. When? How? Discuss.” ANNE Barely literate was the description Of the supposed crime. Hard to listen To the lies. MARGARET Without laughing. ANNE Or crying. The story reeks. It’s obvious they’re lying. Let’s show you how they said events took place. And see if you can manage a straight face. MARGARET I’ll play Marlowe. I look most like Kit. We could be twins. If I’d been literate A little earlier, and gone to school, Been allowed to. ANNE Margaret, you’re a fool Talking like this, in front of men? Please, hush! If our mother heard you, she would blush.
“Lie on your back.” [hearing the line as an instruction, DOROTHY reclines] Dorothy, what are you doing?! DOROTHY It’s hard to track this story. MARGARET [to ANNE, about how they’ll never figure anything out] Wedding hopeless. You’re now a whore. Another bastard child adorns the floor Of a pauper’s cottage. Better yet, Give the baby up, that’s your best bet, And get thee to a nunnery, a nunnery go, Except that they’ve been banned! SHAKESPEARE [trying to get MARLOWE to intervene] Marlowe! MARGARET [using the anger from her attack on ANNE, MARGARET grabs SHAKESPEARE around the neck and begins “stabbing” him on the head] And thus the first ridiculous detail— Both of you just sit there while I flail Away with his own dagger on Frizer’s head— DOROTHY And I sit here, not caring if you’re dead. Frizer, I mean. ANNE On this side, sits Poley,
SHAKESPEARE Trapping him in such a manner that he— [reading] “Ingram Frizer no wise could take flight.” Three times, to be sure we get it right. ANNE It seems strange that these two so-called friends, Could wedge this Frizer in, like two book-ends, Through a knife attack by my dear brother. DOROTHY A struggle for the knife and another— MARGARET --attack by Black Teeth and a final thrust That murdered Marlowe! Oh, it’s so unjust! MARLOWE I was murdered! Yes! I knew I was! ANNE They should be hanged! That’s why we have laws! SHAKESPEARE What do we do? What is our evidence? MARGARET Strange details like, “The dagger cost twelve pence?” SHAKESPEARE I marked it. Danby read it with such strength. ANNE Why would they mention price instead of length? DOROTHY Twelve pence is a quite good price for some shoes.
MARLOWE What your father does. And also the Queen Who’s as responsible as anyone For my death. SHAKESPEARE What have you, Marlowe, done? MARLOWE Let loose the dogs of war, no, worse, the bitches, To right some wrongs— SHAKESPEARE They’ll be burned as witches, Worse than heretics! They’ll commit treason! We have to stop them! MARLOWE Okay, what’s your reason? SHAKESPEARE For stopping them? You don’t care because you are— MARLOWE Deceased? I’ll honor your Catholicism—get a priest To give me final rites. That’s what they’re called? SHAKESPEARE Your selfishness has left me quite appalled. You only care about yourself, Sirrah. MARLOWE Don’t use that in your plays. Make it a law. No use of “Sirrah” in any line or scenes. Why? No one will know what the fuck it means. “Sirrah” that and “Sirrah” this, it’s absurd. And “fardel”—such a down home country word. Your background is a fardel, as in “burden.”
MARGARET He’s confessed already. ANNE We don’t need you. DOROTHY But I’ve been back there, waiting for my cue. INGRAM FRIZER I need a priest! I need someone! [sees that she’s female] You’re a wench! Witches!! DOROTHY Leave him, tied to the bench. Let him explain that. Let him live that down. He won’t get free until we’re out of town. [to FRIZER] We are witches! SHAKESPEARE No, they’re not. They’re Marlowes. That is all. We’re leaving. Don’t disclose What happened here. And I won’t, either, Sirrah! Do we have a deal for life? [INGRAM FRIZER nods “yes”] MARLOWE [in INGRAM FRIZER’S face] Now gnaw Through the rawhide, you lower than a dog, You mangy, smelly, dinner for a hog. In fact, calling you a dog, gives that beast
Such a bad name, who, at the very least, Just tries to survive, as best he can. You had so many choices, as a man, And you chose this. I wish you long life, Alone, without a wife, or with a wife Who nags you constantly. I wish you long, long days of living misery Until that time you die, and just can’t wait To leave this too-long life you’ve grown to hate. SHAKESPEARE We have to go. The girls are gone again. Where can they be? INGRAM FRIZER No doubt, to inflict pain On Poley and Nick Skeres! At least, I hope! MARLOWE And people ask why I’m a misanthrope. SHAKESPEARE You don’t look good. Go to my rooms and wait. MARLOWE You think my sisters’ are at Bishopsgate? Really, Will, you think they’ve given up? SHAKESPEARE Will you just take an order and shut up? Shut up, Marlowe! For once in your sad life? Your blathering’s undone you, you ale wife! MARLOWE My life’s not sad, nor has it ever been. I stand by my life, even at its end. And language, Will, has saved your sanity: You speak from need, my dear, not vanity. Am I an ale wife? Then I’m proud of it: I serve up pleasure.
[The SISTERS launch into a song. It’s a drinking song they sort of know and make up. ANNE knows it best] SISTERS Back and side go bare, go bare; Both hand and foot go cold; But, belly, God send thee good ale enough, Whether it be new or old. But if that I may have, truly, Good ale my belly full, I shall look like one by sweet Saint John Were shorn against the wool. Though I go bare, take ye no care, I am nothing cold. I stuff my skin so full within Of jolly good ale and old. GUARD #2 (Ned) But that’s not a play. It’s but a song. Prove yourselves as players or be gone. [SISTERS look at each other. DOROTHY starts into a scene from a Mystery Play they would have seen in Canterbury] DOROTHY I’m Noah. GUARD #1 (Bob) [to DOROTHY] You’re a cleric. ANNE Costume change-- No time. I’m Noah’s wife, pretend? GUARD #1 (Bob) It’s strange.
Again. They disappear. TOM WALSINGHAM I don’t hate you, Dear Christopher, my Kit. MARLOWE Then I’ll pull through. William? Sisters? I’m not dead! I live! If I can find it in my head: Forgive My Murderers, They Who Misunderstood— MARGARET --What you did for poetry’s own good. MARLOWE What I did for truth. And my own pleasure. TOM WALSIINGHAM Kit, I remember times that I will treasure. MARLOWE A well-worn keepsake. Never understood by you. MARGARET I understand you, Christopher, I do. ANNE I try to understand. DOROTHY And I do, too. WILLIAM I understand so much from you, I’ll steal Everything I can— MARLOWE We have a deal.