Finding short sentences for effect In this part of Five Children and It, a policeman is investigating reports that the children have been trying to spend gold money. Where is the gold? Cyril desperately plunged his hands in his pockets, stood still a moment, and then began to laugh - an odd sort of laugh that hurt, and that felt much more like crying. His pockets were empty. So were the pockets of the others. For of course at sunset all the fairy gold had vanished away. ‘Turn out your pockets, and stop that noise,’ said the inspector. Cyril turned out his pockets, every one of the nine which enriched his Norfolk suit. And every pocket was empty. Notes Underline the three sentences that have fewer than eight words. Think about why the writer, Edith Nesbit, decided to stop her storytelling at those points, and to break it into short sentences. What effect was she creating for the reader? Use the space next to the text to note down your thoughts. Read ‘Where is the gold?’ out loud. Make sure you use the punctuation marks to help you read with expression. Hearing the text will help you notice the effect it should have.
Relative pronouns We can add details with a relative pronoun. The main relative pronouns are who, and which or that. See how these relative pronouns can add information for the reader: Cars that are cheap to run are useful for people. Cars are useful for people who can’t walk far. Finish the sentence below by writing some words that make sense after the relative pronouns: People who like to play games that . You can also use relative pronouns to join some sentences in helpful ways. Here are two sentences: I saw an actor. He was in ‘Coronation Street’. You can join these two sentences by using the relative pronoun who: I saw an actor who was in ‘Coronation Street’. Use a relative pronoun to join these two sentences into one: I found the book. I had lost it. You will have to lose the ‘it’! Write your joined sentence here:
If you are really stuck … Think about a park that you know well. Here are various ideas that you might find relevant: swings and slides children laughing bowling green closed down toilets playing football ducks pond flowers safety football pitches dog poo graffiti park keeper green open space trees keep out after dark bandstand dogs runners valuable space feeding ducks damage/ vandalism keep fit all ages use it mowing the grass expensive to look after lots of grass rules Write some of these ideas on your cards or sticky notes. Add some other ideas about your park if you like. Here are some categories you could use to begin to sort out your park ideas. Category: Facilities Category: Benefits Category: Category:
Organising ideas into topics Imagine a holiday destination. If possible, think of a place you have been to. Below are five categories that could be relevant to the overall topic of your holiday destination. Beneath the first two categories, there is a list of things to do and places to go that belong to those categories. Categories Places to go for families Accommodation Adventurous activities Cultural activities Shopping and restaurants Things to do and places to go theme park hostels leisure pool with slides hotels local parks self-catering apartments or chalets forest trails campervan hire beach camping and caravan sites
Choosing words Here are some useful cohesive words and phrases: however just like alternatively ultimately after all on the other hand therefore in the end consequently as a result in contrast finally as because thus so in conclusion on the contrary Below are three different examples of text. Next to each text example write any cohesive words and phrases from the list above that you think would be used in that sort of text. A few have been done for you to start you off. Text examples Suitable cohesive words and phrases A paragraph that shows a contrast between two things, e.g. differences between football and rugby. However, nevertheless, , , A paragraph that shows cause and effect, e.g. the causes of a fire. Consequently, as a result, , , , . A paragraph that shows a conclusion, e.g. what you learn from a science experiment. In conclusion, after all, , , , .
Chapter 10: Session 2 Cohesive devices SESSION 02: COMPARING AND CONTRASTING CHAPTER 10 Cohesive writing Here is a list of cohesive words and phrases. whereas instead of alternatively at first even though but by contrast consequently however on the other hand as a result equally in the same way as with in spite of unlike otherwise similarly therefore just as while even so finally in the end
A more formal letter Now look below at the opening to a letter to parents about uniform. The words next to the letter show you what the writer was thinking as they wrote the letter: Dear Parents, It is delightful to see just how smart most of our young people look in their new school uniform. However, a few students seem to be struggling to keep up the standards of the rest of the school. I have noticed that a small number of students seem to be unclear about the rules about footwear. All students should be wearing black lace-up shoes. Other colours and styles are not acceptable … This is polite and shows respect for parents. Start on a positive note. I should express this so that students not in correct uniform have made a mistake rather than being naughty. The phrase ‘seem to be unclear’ is less accusing. This is a firm, no-nonsense statement so that the message of the letter does not get lost.