that he enjoys the football immensely at weekends (DP10) and is also able to cope with public transport often taking a bus (sometimes two) to get into town (DP10). I2P13 describes how he has gained in confidence and how this enables him to be more positive: “Oh yeah I’m more positive, I think in myself I’m a lot better. You know my confidence is growing, seems to be growing every month” (I2P13). 5.4.3 Summary The inability to carry out simple daily tasks has been discussed in earlier sections and this very concept of having the opportunity to do something is not always explored by the adoption of the medical model. Thus only by exploring the experiences of individuals are we able to gain a fuller understanding of how they have gained an increase in confidence and thus become a more motivated individual who copes with their illness. It has been suggested by Creer & Wing (1974), Lefley (1987) that it is the acute socially disturbing behaviour, which is directly related to the illness which families find most difficult to cope with. This rejection from and by society has had a huge impact on individuals with schizophrenia and as has been seen previously people with schizophrenia are undermined by some form of impairment to humiliation and manipulation. The stigma and experiences associated with schizophrenia can then lead to the view that their self-concept may be negatively influenced. Hence the individual is progressively redefined in a process that isolates them from groups and significant others outside the institution. This concept has been explored by Goffman in relation to secondary deviancy. This secondary deviancy occurs when individuals with schizophrenia accept their deviancy and lower social status and feel disempowered (Goffman 1968, Giddens 2001). This concept is similar to the concept of internal stigma proposed by Scambler (2004). This may lead to a negative self-concept in people with schizophrenia and failure to retain a positive self-concept may lead to further mental health problems and relapse. This is an
N It’s not a band. It’s Becky and Josh on base, Josh on guitar and they play together but sometimes they get him up to sing a song with the band so it’s really good to hear them with like percussion and everything T And you went to the? Where was it N The Pub l I went to, the pub, and I’ve been to The other pub as well, local is it? T Yeah, yeah N down the Road T And were there lots of people there? N No, it’s not a very big place T No, was it crowded though? N In the little room where they do the performance it is, yeah it’s really good T And how did you feel when you were in there with all those people? N All right T Did you? N No one knows anyway so T Again, that’s another positive thing that you can take forward that you can actually… I’m glad you enjoyed it, I’d forgotten about that… and you said you felt relaxed and felt quite good about it so again it’s very positive things again N I just move things around a bit T It’s like my office at work, I move things around and think I’ve got to tidy up today T Does it bother you about being on your medication a long, long time, indefinitely maybe? N It’s new medication isn’t it so they don’t really know the side effects, what long term effects they have, that’s a bit… but T But would you rather have the quality of life you’ve got now N Yeah T I needn’t bother finishing the question, had I? T Is there anything that you feel your illness stops you from doing? N Well, when I’m not well I don’t think about tomorrow or the next day, I’m just living the here and now and worrying about like them and the voices and stuff so it’s moment to moment, you don’t focus on anything like if someone says oh next
N Once I threw a box in there and I run and got it and came back out again, you know where the window is and where they were, I’ve told her stuff like that but she’s coming next week so I’ve got loads to tell her T I would think so yeah from what you’re saying in here, a lot of positive stuff’s come out of that there, it might be that we’ve triggered it off when we’ve had our little conversation, I don’t know but that’s really, really good N But I haven’t seen her since T No, I was just wondering, so again yeah, do you want a copy of this diary making or not or, it’s up to you, I can photocopy it if you want to and give you it back and send it to you if you want or are you happy just to leave it with me? N Just leave it with you T That’s fine, that’s alright yeah T I think to have taken my fears head on; I think you’re right, I think you have done N Yeah T Keep smiling at myself, it’s like winning the lottery isn’t it? T Have you had something wrong with your knee? N Yeah, I’ve had some cysts, so they’ve drained it again T And do you have a good social network of friends? N It’s mainly family T Yeah N And Louisa, who comes for the coffee mornings and that but I don’t see Mandy anymore and I don’t see Gaynor any more T Right N So I don’t know why that is, but they sort of didn’t come as often as Louisa, but Louisa’s stayed true, she’s a really good friend T So you do things with Louisa, you go out with Louisa? N Yeah, we go out on girl’s nights out well everybody and husbands and everything and that lot T Right. Is there anything in the diary that you want to mention to me or discuss with me? N No T No, I’ll just take this. I’ve got to type all this up now.
S It’s hard to judge really I mean sometimes I get really tired and I don’t know whether that’s the meds or not to be honest T Right S A lot of people say “oh, the meds are responsible for this, that and the other” you know they’ll say it affects their motivation and that’s true to a certain extent but it depends on how you apply yourself as well, you know over the years I’ve been told by certain people whether it be doctors, nurses, people like that, that you know it depends on how you treat the medication, you know whether you give into it or whether you fight it you know what I mean T Yeah S Whereas you think, right I’m tired now so I’ll go to bed or I’m tired now I’ll think sod it, I’m going to do something, I’m going to go out or I’m going to do some drawing or whatever you know so a lot of it’s about self-motivation rather than the meds to be honest I think T Yeah, and do you think, I mean, I suppose again it’ll be difficult to gauge, do you think you’ve got a better quality of life now than what you had before? S Well, obviously, because I’m out of hospital now so it’s obviously better T Yeah S But yeah, the meds, I was in the secure centre as well for quite some time T Right S But I don’t know if it was the medication then, I think it was, and I can’t remember exactly what I was on, but I used to have terrible trouble in a morning, if I didn’t go to the toilet straight away, say for instance I lit up a fag, I’d be basically running to the toilet T Yeah S On a number of occasions I basically filled my trousers T Right S Because I hadn’t got there quick enough and certainly that was a very distressing time T Yeah S You know, basically I’d had a shit in a sink once because I’d got undressed in my room you know to go to bed, and I’d nothing on and I thought well I can’t … and I got this overwhelming urge to go to the toilet and I thought I can’t get dressed in
today when I rang up the disability people and stuff and got my post office account transferred to my Halifax account, I wouldn’t say it makes me warm and happy all over but it’s good to do something for yourself than relying on other people, and the reason I’m doing these sort of things on my own for is eventually I want to be out and you know. I mean I’ve discussed it with my doctor and my social worker and they think you know I’m ready to apply for an absolute discharge and I’ve only been out two years in January so that’s quite an achievement T It is S There’s people on the 37, 41 or 41 it becomes T Mm S Very rarely get out less than 5 years you know what I mean and stay and get that absolute discharge T And it’s about making progress and making steps forward isn’t it? S Yes of course it is, yeah, I mean sometimes it might be really, really difficult doing simple things but as time goes on but even so you’ve got to push yourself each step and some people think I don’t want to push myself, I’m frightened and stuff like that but you have to face them fears and meet up to them or else you never progress T No S I mean, and that’s true of anybody whether they have a mental illness or not, you know if... you know for the first time you go on holiday abroad you know, oh I don’t know about flying or what, but everybody has a little T Anxiety about it doesn’t them. OK I’ve nothing else that I’d need to ask you really S No T There’s a lot of stuff in this diary which is really good erm, is there anything else you’d want to ask me or say to me or S No I’m fine, it’s alright T Right