Provide opportunities for participants to discuss and reflect on both suicide and death with dignity Provide practical information about decisions and advance directives Help participants prepare for their own deaths and those of their loved ones. Leaders A team of two adults should facilitate these workshops. It is recommended that one leader be a religious professional or a leader with a counseling background, because some of the activities and discussion may evoke difficult memories or unresolved experiences for some participants. Leaders must also seek to form and nurture community within the group as participants move through emotionally and spiritually challenging territory. Seek leaders who are: Knowledgeable about Unitarian Universalism Committed to the Unitarian Universalist Principles, to the congregation, and to the faith development components of this program Willing and able to thoroughly prepare for each workshop Effective at speaking, teaching, and facilitating group process Flexible and willing to modify workshop plans to support the full inclusion of all participants Able to listen deeply and to encourage participation of all individuals Able to demonstrate respect for individuals, regardless of age, race, social class, gender identity, ability, and sexual orientation Able to honor the life experiences each participant will bring to the program. In addition, leaders should understand their personal experiences with death, dying, and grief. It is helpful if leaders share their own journeys as a way to introduce themselves to participants. Two sample reflections, written by the program’s authors, can be found at the end of this Introduction: Leader Resource 1, Kate Walker’s Reflection on Death, and Leader Resource 2, Lee Ann Wester’s Reflection on Death. Participants
List euphemisms and slang words for death, listening for what this indicates about what people are unable to say directly Explore perspectives on death and dying from public figures past and present, popular culture, and literature Begin to contemplate their own emotions, experiences, and perspectives on death and dying. Workshop-at-a-Glance Activity Time Opening 15 minutes Activity 1: Creating a Covenant 10 minutes Activity 2: Death Talk 10 minutes Activity 3: Readings from the Common Bowl 25 minutes Activity 4: Grief and Loss in Up 20 minutes Activity 5: Guided Meditation 15 minutes For Next Time 10 minutes Closing 5 minutes Materials Newsprint, markers, and tape 4'x4' black cotton cloth Several small cups of colored sand One chalice large enough to hold all the sand One candle Handout 1, Quotes for the Common Bowl Handout 2, Looking Ahead to Workshop 2 Decorative bowl, lightweight enough to pass around Scissors Three-ring binders with clear plastic covers, one for each participant Three-hole punched paper, both lined and unlined Computer or video player, speakers, and screen Preparation Lay out black cloth on table. Fill cups with different colors of sand and place around the outside edge of the black cloth. Put chalice and candle aside.
funeral home. Many public libraries have the DVDs. "," Frontline, PBS, February 10, 2015. This video documentary explores the intersection of life, death, medicine, and what matters in the end. This may be viewed free online. , gentle, direct, and celebratory treatment of our final life passage. This video must be purchased from its producer, Fuzzy Slippers Productions.. was the last book written by Unitarian Universalist minister Forrest Church (Beacon, 2009). Workshop 2: Finding Our Personal Views of Death Introduction When death or dying comes calling at the door, like a bracing wind it clears our being of pettiness. It connects us to others. More alert to life’s fragility, we reawaken to life’s preciousness. To be fully human is to care, and attending to death prompts the most eloquent form of caring imaginable. — Forrest Church This workshop invites participants to go a little deeper in finding their personal views of death and dying as they explore firsthand stories of people facing their own or loved ones’ deaths—a Unitarian Universalist minister, a writer, a television show producer, and a professor. Participants consider their awareness of their mortality and share stories of objects that represent what they would like to pass on when they die. Send a reminder to participants two or three days ahead of the workshop and include information about preparation from Workshop 1, Handout 2, Looking Ahead to Workshop 2. Goals This workshop will: Provide a process for examining personal feelings about one's own death and dying in a safe and comfortable environment Invite participants to consider their own mortality and what legacy they would like to leave for others. Learning Objectives
Participants will: Explore stories of people facing their own or loved ones’ deaths Reflect on their own mortality and what makes a good death Share stories of objects that represent what they would like to pass on when they die. Workshop-at-a-Glance Activity Time Opening 5 minutes Activity 1: Discussion of Readings 15 minutes Activity 2: A Good Death 20 minutes Activity 3: The Last Lecture 30 minutes Activity 4: What I Want to Pass On 35 minutes For Next Time 5 minutes Closing 10 minutes Materials Newsprint, markers, and tape Chalice, candle, and lighter or candle Our Covenant from Workshop 1 Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 3 Singing the Living Tradition, the UUA hymnbook, for the alternate Opening activity Three-ring binders with clear plastic covers, one for each participant who does not already have one Three-hole punched paper, both lined and unlined Computer or video player, speakers, and screen video (5:14), Wall Street Journal Online Optional: Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture, "." If you are unable to stream the lecture from the Internet, of the DVD from Carnegie Mellon University or obtain a copy from your public library Preparation Read the articles listed under For Next Time in Workshop 1, Handout 2, Looking Ahead to Workshop 2. Post Our Covenant from Workshop 1.
Share this quote from Forrest Church’s sermon "Love and Death": When death or dying comes calling at the door, like a bracing wind it clears our being of pettiness. It connects us to others. More alert to life’s fragility, we reawaken to life’s preciousness. To be fully human is to care, and attending to death prompts the most eloquent form of caring imaginable… Adversity doesn’t always bring out the best in people. But the reason it so often does is because adversity forces us to work within tightly drawn limits. Everything within those limits is heightened. We receive as gifts things we tend to take for granted. For a brief, blessed time, what matters to us most really does matter. Yet, how do we respond, when we get a terminal sentence? Far too often with, “What did I do to deserve this?” “Nothing.” The answer is, “Nothing.” Against unimaginable odds, we have been given something that we didn’t deserve at all, the gift of life, with death as our birthright. Unless we armor our hearts, we cannot protect ourselves from loss. We can only protect ourselves from the death of love. Yet without love, nothing matters. Break your life into a million pieces and ask yourself what of any real value might endure after you are gone. The pieces that remain will each carry love’s signature. Without love, we are left only with the aching hollow of regret, that haunting emptiness where love might have been. Ask for comments and observations from the materials participants were asked to read. Ask: What resonated from the sermon or the articles? What thoughts, hopes, and fears you have about death were expressed in one of the readings? What thoughts, hopes, and fears do you have that were not expressed? Capture participants’ comments on newsprint. Activity 2: A Good Death (20 minutes) Share this quote from “Good Life, Good Death” by Laine Bergeson:
object represents what they would like to pass along to their family, tangible or intangible. Invite participants to share their objects and their reflections with loved ones after the workshop. For Next Time (5 minutes) Share with participants any updates on upcoming plans. Distribute Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 3. Ask participants to read the articles listed for next time. Tell participants that Find Out More includes additional resources they may wish to explore. Closing (10 minutes) Go around in the circle and have participants share, one at a time, one word that describes an experience of death they have had. Be sure to advise that passing is an acceptable option. Share these closing words from Laine Bergeson's "Good Life, Good Death": Death is like an unmapped land—a place our minds can't fully comprehend, but on the perimeters of which we are summoned to both new spiritual depths and sheer terror. Maybe our only call, both for ourselves and for our culture in denial, is to acknowledge this strange tension and learn to live with it. As others have noted, intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at one time. Perhaps living an honest life means having the ability to do the same with death. Extinguish the chalice. Leader Reflection and Planning Make a time for individual reflection and discussion with your co-leader after the conclusion of the workshop. Consider these questions: What worked well in today's workshop? How can these elements or approaches be repeated or amplified in the future? What was most challenging? What could be done to make these parts easier or more effective? At what points were participants most and least engaged? Were all voices in the group heard? Was the room set up in a way conducive to group functioning? Did you have all the resources you needed?
Our beliefs are varied, but we are united by our mortality. We may not know death, but we know loss. We may not see what’s next, but we seek assurance. Let love both ease our death, and soothe our soul. Extinguish the chalice. Leader Reflection and Planning Make a time for individual reflection and discussion with your co-leader after the conclusion of the workshop. Consider these questions: What worked well in today's workshop? How can these elements or approaches be repeated or amplified in the future? What was most challenging? What could be done to make these parts easier or more effective? At what points were participants most and least engaged? Were all voices in the group heard? Was the room set up in a way conducive to group functioning? Did you have all the resources you needed? Did you feel prepared for any pastoral issues that emerged in the course of the workshop? How did you—and the Is there anything you would do differently? Were your practical and spiritual preparation time adequate? Are there opportunities for improvement and modification in advance of the next workshop? Handout 1: Looking Ahead to Workshop 4 In the wake of each loss we are inclined to curse the existence that deals out so many hardships, but many Unitarian Universalists emerge from their grieving with a sense of renewed faith in life, which offered them strength and hope when they most needed it. Life gives us more than it takes from us. — Rev. John H. Nichols For Next Time
Why should we look at grief? Why should we look at anything else before we can come to understand grief? Grieving is not, as is commonly believed, the weak side of human nature. It is the process by which we strengthen ourselves for the task of living courageously in a universe in which there is very little security even as there is a great deal of happiness and love. Since grieve we inevitably will, if we grieve well we will live well. Grieving is a way of taking one's view of the world—a view which has been shattered by a loss that is deeply felt—and putting that picture back together in a way that more adequately forms a picture of one's present personal universe. These lectures will seek to look at grief in the Unitarian Universalist context. My view is that we must have an articulate perspective on grief before we can speak sensibly to any other serious personal issue. If we cannot help one another to reorder the universe of meanings that has been effectively shattered by a serious loss, then we cannot have credibility on any other issue… [People] may join liberal religious churches for a variety of reasons, but finally they will judge us, and many may already have judged us, upon our willingness and ability to be with them as they travel through the valley of the shadow. Are we a sunshine religion only, or a religion for all of the seasons of human life? By examining the past and the present in a useful context these lectures will attempt to pose an answer to that question. The Study of Loss In 1942, on a Saturday evening, the Coconut Grove night club burst into flames, probably as a result of a match which was struck accidentally too close to the lavish decorations. The night club was filled with young…[people] who were celebrating the climax of a Fall weekend and with sailors on leave from the nation's military rearmament. Within a few minutes well over a hundred people died because they were trapped in what rapidly became an inferno. The Coconut Grove fire was a significant landmark in American history for many reasons, but one of these is the subsequent grief work done by Dr. Erich Lindemann, then Chief of Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor at Harvard. Following up on over one hundred relatives of the victims, Lindemann discovered that they all exhibited fairly similar symptoms. These he called the "symptomatology of normal grief." His wording was significant, for prior to this time many
Unfortunately, for many years most clergymen and many other helping professionals were unable to see grief as a friend of health. Nor were they impressed with its pervasiveness in all aspects of our lives. Howard Clinebell's Basic Types of Pastoral Counseling, a standard textbook for its time (1966), considers the subject of grief under the heading, "Counseling in the Crisis of Bereavement", to which five pages are devoted. (4) In 1969 Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published On Death and Dying and a new era in the understanding of grief began. What is remarkable about this book is not its conclusions, which are reformulations of Lindemann's findings, but its straightforward, compassionate look at the feelings of dying people and those who surround them. The response of many helping professionals to this work opened the flood gates of research and comment on all aspects of grief. Having been able to look honestly and unapologetically at the grieving which goes on in many phases of normal lives, theologians and clergy have begun to ask questions about the nature of God in a world where much grieving happens. As a result, two remarkable books have been published fairly recently: Harold Kushner's When Bad Things Happen to Good People and All Our Losses, All Our Griefs by Kenneth R. Mitchell and Herbert Anderson. Both books attempt to develop a theology for liberal Christians and Jews based on the existential experience of loss. Pastoral psychology and theology have come a long way in just sixteen years. What Grief Is If we are going to understand the Unitarian Universalist approach to grief, we will have to know a little more about what grief is. A simple definition would be, "Grief is the normal but bewildering cluster of ordinary human emotions arising in response to a significant loss, intensified and complicated by the relationship to the person or the object lost. Guilt, shame, loneliness, anxiety, anger, terror, bewilderment, emptiness, profound sadness, despair, helplessness—all are part of grief and all are common to being human. Grief is the clustering of some or all of these emotions in response to loss." (5) What follows will be a brief description of some of the emotions which are a part of grief. These emotions must be understood and addressed by clergy and others who seek to assist grieving individuals and so it will be helpful to keep them in
Opening 5 minutes Activity 1: Grief Associations and Experiences 30 minutes Activity 2: Journaling 15 minutes Activity 3: All Our Losses 25 minutes Activity 4: Grief in Our Time 30 minutes For Next Time 5 minutes Closing 10 minutes Materials Newsprint, markers, and tape Chalice, candle, and lighter or candle Our Covenant from Workshop 1 Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 5 Handout 2, Ways to Cope with Grief Three-ring binders with clear plastic covers, one for each participant who does not already have one Three-hole punched paper, both lined and unlined Color pencils, markers, pens and pencils Meditative music and player Optional: Computer or video player, speakers, and screen Optional: "" (2:07), Grief and Loss, This Emotional Life, PBS Optional: "" (0:58), Grief and Loss, This Emotional Life, PBS Preparation Read the resources listed in Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 4, from Workshop 3. Post Our Covenant from Workshop 1. Customize and make copies of Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 5 for all participants. Make copies of Handout 2, Ways to Cope with Grief. Write the list below on newsprint and title it “Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief" (1969) and set it aside: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. Call attention to the covenant you have posted and ask participants to reaffirm their willingness to let it guide your time together. Activity 1: Learning about Death (30 minutes) Invite participants to consider their own experiences with death when they were young. Call attention to the posted questions and invite them to share responses in pairs. Allow ten minutes for the conversation, letting them know when five minutes have elapsed so that they can switch speaker and listener roles. Then lead a large group conversation, asking: As an adult, have you ever spoken to a child as an adult about death? How well did that conversation go? What would help you be better able to have such a conversation? What suggestions in the reading you prepared for this session struck you as most helpful? Allow 15 minutes for this discussion. Then explain that there are at least two different kinds of conversations about death that they might have with a child. One conversation is about death as a part of life, a conversation that might happen when one comes upon a dead creature in the wild or when they hear about death through a story, a movie, or the death of a friend’s grandparent. The other conversation happens when a child is grieving the death of a family member, a friend, or a pet. Activity 2: Death in Children’s Books (40 minutes) Invite participants to form groups of three. Give each group a copy of pages 11-14 of “Loss across the Lifespan” from Let's Talk About Families and Loss and one of the children’s books. Invite the group to read the book, and then to decide for which age(s) the book is most appropriate and how it exemplifies the guidance given in “Loss across the Lifespan.” Allow about 20 minutes for the group to work with the book. Then invite each group to share a bit about the book and how it might be helpful in talking with children about death.
large group discussion, participants explore their own experiences and feelings and share them with others as they are comfortable. Together participants connect the issues to their Unitarian Universalist faith, asking: What can our congregation do to help with suicide prevention? Does my Unitarian Universalist faith call me to support the right of self-determination in dying? Send a reminder to participants two or three days ahead of the workshop and include information about preparation from Workshop 5, Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 6. Goals This workshop will: Explore suicide myths, facts, perceptions, and assumptions Offer information about resources and strategies to help prevent suicide Provide a process for examining the ethical questions concerning the right to die with dignity Raise awareness of the 1988 UUA Resolution The Right to Die with Dignity and invite discussion of its validity today. Learning Objectives Participants will: Explore myths and facts about suicide Discuss some perceptions, judgments, and assumptions commonly made about suicide Learn about some resources and strategies to help prevent suicide or cope with grief after a loved one has committed suicide Consider ways in which their congregation can help prevent suicide Explore “the right to die with dignity” suicide by persons with a debilitating terminal illness Consider their own feelings and experiences regarding assisted suicide Reflect on the 1988 UUA Resolution The Right to Die with Dignity. Workshop-at-a-Glance Activity Time Opening 5 minutes
Activity 1: Myths and Facts about Suicide 30 minutes Activity 2: Suicide Prevention 20 minutes Activity 3: Right to Die 40 minutes Activity 4: UUA Right to Die with Dignity Resolution 15 minutes For Next Time 5 minutes Closing 5 minutes Materials Newsprint, markers, and tape Chalice, candle, and lighter or candle Our Covenant from Workshop 1 Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 7 , Crisis Services, Buffalo, NY, and , National Alliance on Mental Illness Three-ring binders with clear plastic covers, one for each participant who does not already have one Three-hole punched paper, both lined and unlined Color pencils, markers, pens and pencils Computer or video player, speakers, and screen Segment of "" (15:06-21:08), Frontline, PBS,. Video may be streamed from the PBS website. It may also be purchased or borrowed from a public library. (3:47), Mayo Clinic video, or , the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Preparation Read materials listed in Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 6, from Workshop 5. Post Our Covenant from Workshop 1. Customize and make copies of Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 7 for all participants. Make copies of and . Make copies of 1988 UUA General Resolution, or prepare to project it. Obtain a copy of "" or make plans to stream it from the PBS website. Test equipment and speakers; queue and preview or print and make copies of . Queue and preview the segment of "."
Prominently post suicide prevention hotline phone numbers. Invite an expert to speak with youth and parents. Activity 3: Right to Die (40 minutes) Show Segment of "" (15:06-21:08), Frontline, PBS. Then call attention to color pencils, markers, pens, and pencils. Invite participants to consider their own experiences and feelings about suicide in the event of debilitating terminal illness and to reflect, write, or draw in their journals. Allow ten minutes for this part of the activity. Invite participants to form pairs and to share their reflections and experiences as they are comfortable. Allow ten minutes for this part of the activity. Then regather the large group noting that assisted suicide is a controversial issue in our time. Lead a discussion asking: What are some reasons to support the right to die? What are some risks of legalizing assisted suicide? Activity 4: UUA Right to Die with Dignity Resolution (15 minutes) Distribute copies of 1988 UUA General Resolution, or project it. Go around the circle and ask participants to read aloud one section at a time, noting that it is fine to pass. After you have read the resolution, ask: What has changed since 1988—in medicine or ethics or in the political and legal landscape? Does this resolution represent your own point of view—or would you change it in some way? Does your Unitarian Universalist faith call you to support the right of self-determination in dying? Is this support unequivocal? If not, what are the conditions or limitations you would put on that right? For Next Time (5 minutes) Share with participants any updates on upcoming plans. Distribute Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 7 and answer any questions. Tell participants that Find Out More includes additional resources they may wish to explore.
Provide information about end-of-life medical choices and offer a process for participants to reflect on personal choices Invite reflection and conversation about how participants wish to be remembered and memorialized. Learning Objectives Participants will: Gain knowledge of end-of-life medical choices and issues Begin to create a living will or advance directives and decide how to share their wishes with medical professionals and loved ones Share their draft obituaries and epitaphs Consider how they wish to be memorialized at the time of death. Workshop-at-a-Glance Activity Time Opening 5 minutes Activity 1: Medical Choices at End of Life 30 minutes Activity 2: What Matters in the End 20 minutes Activity 3: Five Wishes or Advance Directives 20 minutes Activity 4: Obituaries and Epitaphs 30 minutes For Next Time 10 minutes Closing 5 minutes Materials Chalice, candle, and lighter or candle Our Covenant from Workshop 1 Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 8 for each participant or copies of or both Three-ring binders with clear plastic covers, one for each participant who does not already have one Three-hole punched paper, both lined and unlined Computer or video player, speakers, and screen Segment of "" (17:13-23:36), Frontline, PBS. Video may be shown from the PBS
website. It may also be purchased or borrowed from a public library. Preparation Invite a medical professional with experience in end-of-life medicine, palliative care, and hospice care to explain some common end-of-life medical choices. Read resources listed in Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 7, from Workshop 6. Post Our Covenant from Workshop 1. Customize and make copies of Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 8 for all participants. Download from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization website and make copies. Obtain copies of the for all participants. Order them (at a small cost) from the Aging with Dignity website. Obtain a copy of "" or make plans to stream it from the PBS website. Test equipment and speakers; queue and preview the segment (17:13-23:36) of "." Review and implement as appropriate for your group and space. Opening (5 minutes) Light the chalice and share these words from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 20 (NRSV): For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
conversations about end-of-life issues, it can be found on the website called the . Activity 4: Obituaries and Epitaphs (30 minutes) Invite participants to form groups of three and, as they are comfortable doing so, to share the obituaries and epitaphs they have written prior to the workshop. Allow 15 minutes for this part of the activity. Then regather the large group and engage participants in a conversation about their choices for how they want to be memorialized after death. Use these questions: Who would you like to plan your memorial service or funeral? Family members or yourself? What are advantages and disadvantages of each? Do you have a preference for what happens with your remains? For Next Time (10 minutes) Share with participants details about your field trip to a funeral home, a cemetery, or a crematorium. Distribute Handout 1, Looking Ahead to Workshop 8 and remind them about the artistic expression for next time. Tell them that they will not be sharing their advance directives or Five Wishes booklets with the group. Closing (5 minutes) Share these closing words from Lee Ann Wester: When the time comes, we prepare, as if for a party with close friends for care, or a class, ready to learn. But is preparation really possible? Can we ever really prepare, for death? For life? The friends will come for care, the class will happen, we learn. When the time comes. Extinguish the chalice. Leader Reflection and Planning
Make a time for individual reflection and discussion with your co-leader after the conclusion of the workshop. Consider these questions: What worked well in today's workshop? How can these elements or approaches be repeated or amplified in the future? What was most challenging? What could be done to make these parts easier or more effective? At what points were participants most and least engaged? Were all voices in the group heard? Was the room set up in a way conducive to group functioning? Did you have all the resources you needed? Did you feel prepared for any pastoral issues that emerged in the course of the workshop? How did you—and the Is there anything you would do differently? Were your practical and spiritual preparation time adequate? Are there opportunities for improvement and modification in advance of the next workshop? Handout 1: Looking Ahead to Workshop 8 The dying must often feel this along just fine, while on ahead someone has torn up the rails. — Annie Dillard For Next Time To prepare for the next workshop: Fill in advance directive forms or Five Wishes booklets. Make a plan for sharing them with medical people and loved ones. Make a list in your journal of end-of-life decisions that need to be made and discuss that list with loved ones. Here are possible questions: Do I want to preplan my funeral? (If yes, speaking with their minister is recommended.) What do I wish to be done with my body or remains?
What financial and legal decisions need to be made, and whose help do I need in making them? What do I want to happen with precious personal possessions? Complete your artistic response to death and dying, such as a photograph, drawing, painting, poem, prose, song, music, ceramics, or dance. Find Out More Download the from for help in talking with loved ones about end-of-life issues. Watch "," Frontline, PBS. In the video, surgeon Atul Gawande examines the relationships doctors have with patients nearing the end of life. Read Atul Gawande, (Metropolitan Books, 2014), which argues for a revisioning of end-of-life conversations and decisions. Workshop 8: Sharing New Insights Introduction And so I shall go, in time, as all Go and greet this sustaining earth with gratitude and pray I am worthy and have served Her well. — Melitta Haslund, from “A Shovel Full of Earth” This workshop invites participants to reflect on what they have learned and experienced through Facing Death with Life and to share their creative expressions about death and dying with one another. Send a note to participants several days ahead of the workshop and remind them to bring their creative expression about death and dying—a photograph, drawing, painting, poem, prose, song, music, ceramic piece, dance, or some other creative work. Assure them that the creative expression is an important part of integrating all
Write on newsprint and post: What were your impressions? What was expected? What was unexpected? Did your views on death change, and if so, how? Did the visit affect your personal plans for your own death? Set out candles for closing. Review and implement as appropriate for your group and space. Optional: Arrange for display of creative expressions in your congregation’s building. Opening (5 minutes) Light the chalice and share these words from Rev. Kate Walker: With courage we turn to look, with fear and love pulling us forward, death will greet us one day. We look, but we do not welcome, not this time, not next time, we only look, with courage. Call attention to the covenant you have posted and ask participants to reaffirm their willingness to let it guide your time together. Assure participants that, together, the group will offer a welcoming and safe space for sharing their creative expressions. Activity 1: Field Trip Reflections (35 minutes) Invite participants to share insights, comments, and observations from your field trip to the funeral home, cemetery, or crematorium and record them on newsprint. If the group includes participants who did not make the field trip, invite others to fill in details. Call attention to the questions you have posted and lead a discussion, inviting participants to respond. Activity 2: Sharing Creative Expressions and Process (45 minutes) Invite participants, one at a time, to share their creative expressions and the process that led to the work they are sharing. Ask participants to give each other the gift of attentive listening during each
presentation. Lead the group in affirming each person after they have shared. If you have arranged to display their creative expressions in the congregation's building, ask permission of each person before displaying. Activity 3: A Good Death? (15 minutes) Ask, “Is there such a thing as a good death?” Invite a discussion, encouraging participants to share any experiences and learnings from the workshop program that have influenced their response to the question. Activity 4: Evaluation (10 minutes) Distribute Handout 1, Evaluation and invite participants to complete it and turn it in. Closing (10 minutes) Invite each participant to light a candle and name the fear about death and dying they would like to let go. Share these closing words from Rumi, a Persian poet: What do you really possess, And what have you gained in this life? What pearls have you brought up From the depths of the sea? On the day of death, Your physical senses will vanish. Do you have the spiritual light To illuminate your heart? When dust fills your eyes in the grave, Will your grave shine brightly? Extinguish the chalice. Leader Reflection and Planning Make a time for individual reflection and discussion with your co-leader after the conclusion of the workshop. Consider these questions: What worked well in today's workshop? What was most challenging? At what points were participants most and least engaged?
Handout 2: Final Thoughts A Shovel Full of Earth Melitta Haslund, in “A Shovel Full of Earth.” Published in For All That Is Our Life, edited by Helen and Eugene Pickett (Skinner House, 2005). Used with permission. A few shovel fulls of earth await humbly. Dark brown as only earth can be— dug from the fragrant depths. How shall we live This life? And isn’t it grander than this in the end? No—the splendor is right here, in the dirt, in the soil that can grow all we need