Introduction Research on women’s exit from paid work often constructs women as making a binary choice between career and family, fuelling what Williams (2001) terms ‘choice rhetoric’. Implicit in these depictions is that women make their choices and happily fit into the career or family camp. Our research on mothers who had previously worked in professional and managerial occupations reveals the on-going struggles of these mothers to redefine who they are. Constructing their ‘choice’ as the right one did not occur before their exit from work but was a process that extended over time. Analysis of mothers’ sensemaking reveals how the choice to exit, channelled as it is through layers of societal and individual pressures, is laden with cost. An evaporating work identity and evolving struggles for self-redefinition following workplace exit highlight the loss women experience. We build on studies that show that what is on offer is far from what women want (Damaske, 2011; Holmes et al., 2012; Stone, 2007; Stone and Lovejoy, 2004) and that choices are discordant with women’s attitudes (Crompton and Lyonette, 2005). Over time, transformations of mothers’ identities enable them to reconcile their loss; such transformations often entail fundamental changes in their values, as they reach a ‘springboard for action’ (Lovejoy and Stone, 2011; Taylor and Van Every, 2000). But the identity work that goes into achieving this acceptance over time demonstrates that it is not the same as exercising free choice. The struggles of both women who leave work and women who stay in work have a common genesis in the difficulty of fulfilling the often-competing identities of mother and professional (Buzzanell et al., 2005; Gatrell, 2013; Smithson and Stokoe, 2005). In part, struggling in work and struggling after leaving work seem to be very different phenomena because mothers’
These mothers did not engage in spells of paid work related to their previous position, nor did they try to create replacement activities; they seemed to go through a period of not knowing what to do. A coping strategy practised by three interviewees is illustrated by Geraldine’s (the former manager in an NGO) throwing herself into setting up a new business as a way of justifying herself. Even though she stated ‘you can just be a mother’, she immediately counteracted her position by justifying herself through her involvement in the parent-teacher association (PTA). In this second stage, she was torn. When I made the decision, it completely freaked me and I set up two businesses. You know, 'Oh my god I can’t just be a mother; that’s ridiculous, that’s just not me'. So I set up two knitting labels. I got my mother and my mother-in-law and me and we all knitted hats, scarves and booties, and we packaged them all, sold them in Primrose Hill, various shops. Oh yes, I’ll give myself some more work because I can’t ‘just’ be a mother. Actually you can just be a mother. But now I have taken on the PTA at the school. Mothers’ discomfort during this second stage in the journey shows through their clinging to their former work identity and fear of taking on the low status of caring work. Setting up a knitting business fits the stereotypical depiction of women entrepreneurs, but from another viewpoint illustrates ‘the cleavages of identity’ that mothers face (Bruni et al., 2005: 21). Mothers intermittently worked and set up new businesses to ensure what Weick (1995) describes as continuity and consistency in who they felt they were. Women whose previous work permitted it crossed back and
Graphic design 1 Table 2 Final themes and examples of codes for each theme Stage 1 Stage 2 Stage 3 Stage 4 Work identity under threat while at work Making sense of the identity change while at home Creating a new identity while at home Springboard for action Negative role models when pregnant Example: Partner in law firm saying goodnight to children on the phone Regret and loss Example: Television producer feeling dynamic during temporary project work Defending new position Example: Saying that you can actually be a mother Positive feelings about the future Example: Looking forward to the future Identity change as a worker after becoming a mother Example: Feeling of letting down by colleagues Lack of value for mothers Example: We all know how mothers with buggies are treated Helping in school or helping in the community Example: Being a governor at the school Transformative time at home Example: Wanting to make a difference Not fitting in Example: No longer feeling like you are part of the gang, feelings of guilt at not working like others Satisfaction with looking after children Example: Mentioning how children have benefited Humour Example: Mothers laughing at how awful their husbands are Impact of care on autonomy and power Example: Not wanting to go back to working for someone else Inability to keep to agreed hours Example: Lawyer who had negotiated work but still had to complete assignments Recreating work at home Example: Mother setting up a knitting business at home Not a housewife Example: Former recruitment consultant saying she does not do cleaning Importance of paid work Example: Mothers still wanting to engage in paid work Home is calling mothers across the boundary Example: Home Border crossing activities, such as consultancy work Example: Political Collective sensemaking helps to ease discomfort Example: Mothers Insistence of boundary around work Example: