CRICKET PLAYERS & NICKNAMES ... endless!

by Chinaroad Australia's 1948 tour of England ï¿½ The Invincibles Australian national cricket team ï¿½ Baggy Greens Bangladeshi national cricket team ï¿½ The Tigers Canadian national cricket team ï¿½ One Man Band New Zealand national cricket team ï¿½ The Black Caps, The Kiwis South African national cricket team ï¿½ The Proteas West Indian national cricket team ï¿½ The Windies, The Calypsos Indian national cricket team ï¿½ The Men in Blue Pakistani national cricket teamï¿½ The Stars Officials, umpires and commentators Harold Bird ï¿½ Dickie Bird Henry Blofeld ï¿½ Blowers Brent Bowden ï¿½ Billy Steve Bucknor ï¿½ Slow Death Bill Ferguson ï¿½ Fergie Bill Frindall ï¿½ The Bearded Wonder Brian Johnston ï¿½ Johnners Christopher Martin-Jenkins ï¿½ CMJ Don Mosey ï¿½ The Alderman David Shepherd ï¿½ Shep Bryan Waddle ï¿½ Wads Players Bobby Abel ï¿½ The Guv'nor Jimmy Adams ï¿½ Padams Paul Adams ï¿

½ Gogga ("insect" in Afrikaans), A frog in a blender (for his unusual bowling action) Ajit Agarkar ï¿½ Bombay Duck (for his horror streak of ducks against Australia) Jonathan Agnew ï¿½ Aggers Shoaib Akhtar ï¿½ Rawalpindi Express Wasim Akram ï¿½ Prince of Pakistan, Was, Sultan of Swing Terry Alderman ï¿½ Clem (after Clem Jones, mayor of Brisbane, curator of Gabba and an alderman) Mark Alleyne ï¿½ BooBoo Mohinder Amarnath ï¿½ Jimmy, Amarnought Surinder Amarnath ï¿½ Tommy Warwick Armstrong ï¿½ the Big Ship Jason Arnberger ï¿½ Cheesy Geoff Arnold ï¿½ Horse Shahid Afridi ï¿½ The Boom Michael Atherton ï¿½ Athers B Trevor Bailey ï¿½ The Boil, Barnacle Omari Banks ï¿½ Bankie, Cowheb Richie Benaud ï¿½ Diamonds Tino Best ï¿½ The Best, Ntini Michael Bevan ï¿½ Bevvo Andrew Bichel ï¿½

 Bic Jack Blackham ï¿½ Black Jack David Boon ï¿½ Boonie, Keg on Legs, Stumpy Allan Border ï¿½ A.B., Captain Grumpy Ian Botham ï¿½ Beefy,The Both,Guy Mark Boucher ï¿½ Guinness, Billy Nicky Boje ï¿½ Bodge Nathan Bracken ï¿½ Bracks Don Bradman ï¿½ The Don Ian Bell ï¿½ Belly, the team baby C Andy Caddick ï¿½ Caddyshack Chris Cairns ï¿½ B.A.

(Bad Attitude) Shivnarine Chanderpaul ï¿½ Tiger Ian Chappell ï¿½ Chapelli Ewen Chatfield ï¿½ Chats, Farmer (Mer) or The Naenae Express Stuart Clark ï¿½ Sarfraz, Stu Michael Clarke ï¿½ Pup Paul Collingwood ï¿½ Nice Ginger, Colly Herbie Collins ï¿½ Horseshoe Corey Collymore ï¿½ Screw Jeremy Coney ï¿½ Mantis Colin Cowdrey ï¿½ Kipper Jeff Crowe ï¿½ Chopper Martin Crowe ï¿½ Hogan D Adam Dale ï¿½ Chipper Joe Darling ï¿½ Paddy Phillip DeFreitas ï¿½ Half-Chocolate, Daffy Aravinda de Silva ï¿½ Mad Max Fanie de Villiers ï¿½ Vinnige Fanie ("Fast Fanie" in Afrikaans) Kapil Dev ï¿½ The Haryana Express Mahendra Singh Dhoni ï¿½ Mahi Graham Dilley ï¿½ Pica Boeta Dippenaar ï¿½ Dipps Allan Donald ï¿½ White Lightning Brett

 Dorey ï¿½ Hunky, John J.W.H.T.

Douglas ï¿½ Johnny Won't Hit Today Rahul Dravid ï¿½ Jammy, The Wall E Bruce Edgar ï¿½ Bootsy F Damien Fleming ï¿½ Flemo Stephen Fleming ï¿½ Flange Duncan Fletcher ï¿½ Fletch Keith Fletcher ï¿½ The Gnome of Essex Andrew Flintoff ï¿½ Freddy, Twiggy, Fred, family man James Foster ï¿½ The Child Graeme Fowler ï¿½ Foxy C. B. Fry ï¿½ Lord Oxford, Charles III, Almighty G Saurav Ganguly ï¿½ Maharaj, Prince of Calcutta, Dada, Bengal Tiger Joel Garner ï¿½ Big Bird Sunil Gavaskar ï¿½ Sunny, The Little Master Chris Gayle ï¿½ Cramps, Crampy Herschelle Gibbs ï¿½ Scooter, The Sack Man Adam Gilchrist ï¿½ Churchy, Gilly, The Demolition Man Ashley Giles ï¿½ Ash, the King of Spain Jason Gillespie ï¿½ Dizzy Darren Gough ï¿½ Rhino, Goughy, the Dazzler, Dancing Darren E.

M. Grace ï¿½ The Coroner W.G.

Grace ï¿½ The Doctor Mark Greatbatch ï¿½ Paddy Clarrie Grimmett ï¿½ The Old Fox, Grum Subhash Gupte ï¿½ Fergie H Brad Haddin ï¿½ BJ, Harry, Guildo Richard Hadlee ï¿½ Paddles Andrew Hall ï¿½ Brosh, Merv, Hally Stephen Harmison ï¿½ Harmy (or Harmi), Tinker, GBH (Grievous Bodily Harmison) Chris Harris ï¿½ Harry, Lugs Ian Harvey ï¿½ Freak Nathan Hauritz ï¿½ Horry Matthew Hayden ï¿½ Haydos, Unit Nantie Hayward ï¿½ Wayward Hayward George Headley ï¿½ Black Bradman Ian Healy ï¿½ Heals Hunter Hendry ï¿½ Stork Paul Hitchcock ï¿½ Alfred Jack Hobbs ï¿½ The Master Brad Hoggï¿½ George, Hoggy, The Postman Matthew Hoggard ï¿½ Hoggy, Shrek Michael Holding ï¿½ Whispering Death Bob Holland ï¿½ Dutchy Albert Hornby ï¿½ Monkey James H

opes ï¿½ Hopesy, Jimbo, Catfish Merv Hughes ï¿½ Fruitfly, Swerve, Swerv'n Merv'n Simon Hughes ï¿½ Yozzer Nasser Hussain ï¿½ Nass (by the commentators) Michael Hussey ï¿½ The Huss, Mr Cricket I Inzamam ul Haq ï¿½ Aloo (potato), Inzy Bert Ironmonger ï¿½ Dainty J Ridley Jacobs ï¿½ Ras Bell, Riddler Sanath Jayasuriya ï¿½ The Matara Mauler Gilbert Jessop ï¿½ The Croucher Dean Jones ï¿½ Deano, Legend (nickname he gave to himself).

Sylvester Joseph ï¿½ Bouncing K Mohammed Kaif ï¿½ Kaifu Jacques Kallis ï¿½ Kalahari, Jackes Danish Kaneria ï¿½ Nani Dani Michael Kasprowicz ï¿½ Kasper Simon Katich ï¿½ Stiffler, Kat Justin Kemp ï¿½ Daryll (Shane Warne's sledging) Imran Khan ï¿½ The Lion of Lahore, The King of Swing Michael Klinger ï¿½ Maxy Lance Klusener ï¿½ Zulu Anil Kumble ï¿½ Jumbo L Justin Langer ï¿½ BNG, Brown Nose Gnome, Alf Charl Langeveldt ï¿½ Langes Brian Lara ï¿½ The Prince Gavin Larsen ï¿½ The Postman (apparently he always delivered!) Harold Larwood ï¿½ Lol Bill Lawry ï¿½ Phantom, Phanta, The corpse with pads on (he loved Phantom comics) Geoff Lawson ï¿½ Henry VVS Laxman ï¿½ Very Very Special Brett Lee ï¿½ Bing, Oswald Warren Lees ï¿½ Wally Darren Lehmann ï

¿½ Boof, Shrek Henry Leveson-Gower ï¿½ Shrimp Dennis Lillee ï¿½ D.K., F.O.T (F*****g Old Tart) Denis Lindsay ï¿½ Sporty Clive Lloyd ï¿½ Super Cat David Lloyd ï¿½ Bumble Martin Love ï¿½ Lovey, Pumper M Charles Macartney ï¿½ Governor-General Stuart MacGill ï¿½ Stuey, Magilla Ken Mackay ï¿½ Slasher Jimmy Maher ï¿½ Mahbo Ashley Mallett ï¿½ Rowdy Sanjay Manjrekar ï¿½ Sanj Vijay Manjrekar ï¿½ The Wanderer Charles Marriott ï¿½ Father Marriott Geoff Marsh ï¿½ Swampy Rod Marsh ï¿½ Iron Gloves, Bacchus Xavier Marshall ï¿½ X, Mad Max Frederick Martin ï¿½ Nutty Damien Martyn ï¿½ Marto Lloyd Mash ï¿½ Monster, Bangers (in the UK) Greg Matthews ï¿½ Mo Glenn McGrath ï¿½ Pigeon Graham McKenzie ï¿½ Garth Craig McMillan ï¿½

 Macca Colin Miller ï¿½ Funky Keith Miller ï¿½ Nugget Tom Moody ï¿½ Long Dave Mohammed ï¿½ Tadpole Danny Morrison ï¿½ Deke John Morrison ï¿½ Mystery Runako Morton ï¿½ Ronnie Muttiah Muralitharan ï¿½ The Smiling Assassin, Murali, MuMu, Master technician Saqlain Mushtaq ï¿½ Saqi, Professor (wears glasses and outsmarts the batsman) Shoaib Malik ï¿½ Terminator N Andre Nel ï¿½ Nella Mfuneko Ngam ï¿½ Chewey (Chewey'N gam) Monty Noble ï¿½ Mary Ann Makhaya Ntini ï¿½ Macky O Chris Old ï¿½ Chilly (from C.Old) Bill O'Reilly ï¿½ Tiger Kerry O'Keeffe ï¿½ Skull P Milford Page ï¿½ Curly Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi ï¿½ Tiger Parthiv Patel ï¿½ Bachcha (child in Hindi) Kevin Pietersen ï¿½ K.P.

Graeme Pollock ï¿½ The Little Dog Peter Pollock ï¿½ The Big Dog Shaun Pollock ï¿½ Polly, Ginger, The Nibbler Ricky Ponting ï¿½ Punter Ashwell Prince ï¿½ Ashy P Q Abdul Qadir ï¿½ Qadu R Carl Rackemann ï¿½ Mocca Venkatapathy Raju ï¿½ Muscles Denesh Ramdin ï¿½ Shoppy Ravi Rampaul ï¿½ Frisco Kid Mark Ramprakash ï¿½ Bloodaxe Ranjitsinhji ï¿½ Black Prince of Cricketers, Ranji, Smith Derek Randall ï¿½ Arkle Yalaka Venugopal Rao ï¿½ Venu Abdul Razzaq ï¿½ Razzler Bruce Reid ï¿½ Chook Paul Reiffel ï¿½ Pistol Dave Renneburg ï¿½ Big Shine Harold Rhodes ï¿½ Dusty Rhodes Vivian Richards ï¿½ Master Blaster, the Master Mark Richardson ï¿½ Rigor, Rig Greg Ritchie ï¿½ Fat Cat Steve Rixon ï¿½ Stumper Jacques Rudolph ï¿

½ Jackie Ken Rutherford ï¿½ Ruds or Rudder S Mohammed Sami ï¿½ Salami, The Karachi Express Virender Sehwag ï¿½ Veeru, New Tendulkar Paul Sheahan ï¿½ Timbers Bob Simpson ï¿½ Simmo Navjot Singh Sidhu ï¿½ Sherry, Jonty Singh, Sixer Sidhu Matthew Sinclair ï¿½ Skippy Harbhajan Singh ï¿½ The Turbanator, Bhajji (by team-mates) Yuvraj Singh ï¿½ Yuvi Michael Slater ï¿½ Slats Peter Sleep ï¿½ Sounda Sir Aubrey Smith ï¿½ Round the Corner Ian Smith ï¿½ Stockley Graeme Smith ï¿½ Biff Jim Smith ï¿½ Big Jim Martin Snedden ï¿½ Sneds Fred Spofforth ï¿½ Demon Javagal Srinath ï¿½ Babu Keith Stackpole ï¿½ Stacky Brian Statham ï¿½ George Edward Stevens ï¿½ Lumpy Alec Stewart ï¿½ Wizenedone, Gaffer Andrew Strauss ï¿½ Straussy Pi

eter Strydom ï¿½ Striker Scott Styris ï¿½ Pig Andrew Symonds ï¿½ Symo, Roy, Golden Bollocks T Mark Taylor ï¿½ Tubby Sachin Tendulkar ï¿½ Tendiya, Little Master, The Master Blaster, Slashin Sachin Alan Thomson ï¿½ Froggie Jeff Thomson ï¿½ Two-up Graham Thorpe ï¿½ The Shagger Ernie Toshack ï¿½ The Dark Prince Marcus Trescothick ï¿½ Banger, Tresco Fred Trueman ï¿½ Fiery Fred Hugh Trumble ï¿½ Little Eva Daryl Tuffey ï¿½ Hightower Phil Tufnell ï¿½ The Cat, Tuffers Charlie Turner ï¿½ Terror Frank Tyson ï¿½ Typhoon U Shaun Udal ï¿½ Shaggy Derek Underwood ï¿½ Deadly V Michael Vaughan ï¿½ Virgil, Vaughny Dilip Vengsarkar ï¿½ Colonel Srinivasaraghavan Venkataraghavan ï¿½ Venkat Daniel Vettori ï¿½ Lucas, Danny Lou Vincent ï¿

½ Flusher Maharajkumar of Vizianagram ï¿½ Vizzy W Max Walker ï¿½ Tangles Doug Walters ï¿½ Freddie, Bikki Shane Warne ï¿½ Warney, Hollywood, The Sheikh of Tweak Shane Watson ï¿½ Watto Steve Waugh ï¿½ Tugga, Iceman Mark Waugh ï¿½ Junior, Afghanistan (The forgotten waugh) Cameron White ï¿½ Carn Craig White ï¿½ Chalky Jeff Wilson ï¿½ Goldie Paul Wilson ï¿½ Blocker Matthew Windows ï¿½ Steamy Paul Wiseman ï¿½ Whizz Bill Woodfull ï¿½ The Rock John Wright ï¿½ Shake Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis ï¿½ The Two W's, The Sultans of Reverse Swing Clyde Walcott, Everton Weekes and Frank Worrell ï¿½ The Three W's XYZ BUMBLE MARRIAGE IS OVER; LOVE TANGLE ONE.

- Free Online Library BUMBLE MARRIAGE IS OVER; LOVE TANGLE ONE. <a href=" Citations: MLA style: "BUMBLE MARRIAGE IS OVER; LOVE TANGLE ONE.." The Free Library. 1998 MGN LTD 19 Jan. 2017 Chicago style: The Free Library. S.v. BUMBLE MARRIAGE IS OVER; LOVE TANGLE ONE.." Retrieved Jan 19 2017 from APA style: BUMBLE MARRIAGE IS OVER; LOVE TANGLE ONE.. (n.d.) >The Free Library. (2014). Retrieved Jan 19 2017 from ENGLAND cricket coach David Lloyd has split from his wife and is living with the ex-wife of a former county batsman. Yesterday, estranged Susan Lloyd said divorce proceedings had begun. The news will shock sports fans and comes just months after England soccer boss Glenn Hoddle announced his marriage had hit the rocks. Former England opening batsman Lloyd, 50, is now sharing a home with Diana Potter, who was married to Kent and Leicester cricketer Laurie Potter.

Loyd and Diana are living at a modern pounds 70,000, three-bedroom mews cottage in a south Manchester suburb. The England supremo and father-of-three met attractive blonde Diana - more than 15 years his junior - on the county cricket circuit several years ago. Their friendship became serious when Diana, who divorced Laurie in 1994, moved to Manchester the following year. Lloyd - nicknamed Bumble because of his strong Lancastrian accent - is currently in the West Indies for England's winter Test series. It is understood Diana will join him next month when the team's wives and girfriends fly out for a short break. Meanwhile, Susan, 48, is living at the family's pounds 90,000 detached bungalow in Accrington, Lancashire. The couple have been married for 29 years. Susan said: "David left some time ago and divorce proceedings have been started. "I don't know what is going to happen. David and I are still very good friends but these things happen." Lloyd landed the England coaching job two years ago after three successful years in charge of Lancashire.

Before turning to coaching, he had a glittering playing career with the county and England. He played in nine Tests and scored a double century against India in 1974. In the Eighties, he became a radio commentator and qualified as a first- class cricket umpire. He then guided Lancashire to Benson and Hedges Cup and Nat West Trophy victories. Before jetting out to the West Indies, he told a friend: "Diana and I realise we will probably be photographed together and then the whole world will know. "The divorce will go through sooner or later but there are no plans for marriage at the moment." On Friday, Diana said at their home: "I don't wish to discuss our personal life. If you want any information you should speak to David." Her former husband Laurie commented: "We split up nearly 10 years ago and I haven't seen her since. "I'm now very happily remarried with children and all this is in the past. We split up for the usual reasons couples do - we just grew apart. "If she's with David Lloyd good luck to her. I don't bear her any malice." Lloyd first met Diana when she worked at Kent County Cricket Club as an administrator.

Their friendship grew during visits by Lancashire to Kent's Canterbury headquarters and blossomed into romance before Lloyd landed the England coaching post. The couple have tried to keep their affair under wraps for the sake of his wife and children, with whom he is still close. His eldest son Graham, 28, now plays for Lancashire and has represented the England A side. COPYRIGHT 1998 MGN LTD No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder. Copyright 1998 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. Article Details David Lloyd | England Cricket | Cricket Players and Officials | ESPN Cricinfo 1966 - 1985 Profile David Lloyd was an unlucky cricketer. Many of his admirers - and probably he himself - were disappointed that he did not achieve more. A talented allrounder, and especially a brilliant strokemaker, he was very much, and proudly, a man of what Neville Cardus called the Lancashire hinterland (Accrington). He promised to - and almost did - reach the top; but remained calmly cheerful and humorous despite his setbacks.

In short, in his Second Test- against India in 1974- he scored a splendidly fluent 214 not out. That alone ensured his selection for the following winter's tour of Australia where, in a side routed by the `heart-line' attack of Lillee and Thomson, he was effectively shocked and shattered out of Test cricket. Like several other capable and loyal professionals of his period, he took on the captaincy of his county - which he had never sought - out of loyalty. In a term of office from 1973 to 1977 he led the county to three Gillette finals, one of which they won. As a captain, his natural modesty probably caused him to use his left-arm slow bowling much less than he might have done. For many years he was one of the bravest and finest close fieldsmen in the world. Always considerate of young players, he helped considerably in the development of, in particular, Graeme Fowler. He returns now to league cricket in his native town; leaving behind many good memories as a man; and figures which, though useful, do less than justice to his ability.

John Arlott (January 1984) Footnote After retiring, Lloyd briefly became a first-class umpire, before turning his hand to radio commentary and then coaching. In 1996 he became England coach and helped with the professionalisation of the side. He was always a ready source for a quote, but his boundless enthusiasm made him enemies in high places, and he departed after the 1999 World Cup. He returned to commentating with Sky Sports.

Read More David Lloyd earns accolade despite Lancashire’s bumbling season | Sport | The Guardian David Lloyd earns accolade despite Lancashire’s bumbling season • ‘Bumble’ receives award for contribution to promoting game • Lancastrian recognised for variety of roles in five decades • Major honours go to Yorkshire’s Adam Lyth and Alex Lees Tuesday 30 September 2014 08.18 EDT First published on Tuesday 30 September 2014 08.00 EDT Close This article is 2 years old David Lloyd prevented a Yorkshire clean sweep, and provided Lancashire with a rare success at the end of a miserable 2014 season, by receiving the Peter Smith Award for his outstanding contribution to the promotion of the game of cricket on Tuesday. “Bumble” was recognised at the Cricket Writers’ Club awards ceremony in London, latterly as an eccentric stalwart of the Sky commentary team for the majority of the 200 England Tests covered by the channel since 1990. The other major awards went to Adam Lyth and Alex Lees, Yorkshire’s left-handed opening pair who laid the foundations for their first County Championship triumph for 13 seasons .

Lees, a 21-year-old from Halifax, became the third Yorkshire player in four years to be named Young Player of the Year , following Jonny Bairstow in 2011 and Joe Root in 2012. Lyth, a 27-year-old from Whitby, was the third recipient of the William Hill County Championship Player of the Year award, after scoring 1,489 runs, including six centuries at an average of 67.68. Even as a Lancastrian, Lloyd took plenty of pleasure from their awards too – he has followed Lyth’s progress especially closely all season, even though it included a career-best 251 in the Roses match at Old Trafford, and cost him a bottle of wine following a wager in the spring. Lloyd’s award recognised the variety of roles filled by the 67-year-old in almost five decades in the game since he made his first-class debut for Lancashire against Middlesex in June 1965 – and bagged a pair.

From those unpromising beginnings he scored a total of 17,877 runs in 378 first-class appearances for Lancashire until his retirement at the end of the 1983 season. He also took more than 200 wickets with his left-arm spin, and was a mainstay of the county’s one-day success, playing in four Gillette Cup final wins between 1970 and 1975, the last of them as captain. He played nine Tests and eight one-day internationals for England, scoring the only first-class double century of his career against India at Edgbaston in 1974 , although he has spent much more time talking about the stiffer tests he faced in Australia that winter when Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson were in their fearsome pomp, and protective equipment for batsmen remained basic and limited . After retirement, Lloyd became a first-class umpire, an accomplished after-dinner speaker and also made his first moves into the media as a regular on BBC radio’s Test Match Special.

But his gift for comedy concealed a shrewd and restless cricketing brain, which made him an innovative and successful coach of Lancashire, and then earned him promotion to the England job in 1996. He was the fourth to hold that position, after Micky Stewart, Keith Fletcher and Raymond Illingworth, and, in addition to enjoying series victories over India, New Zealand and South Africa he played a significant part in introducing a new level of professionalism to the England setup that would lead to the introduction of central contracts shortly after he stepped down following a flop on home soil at the 1999 World Cup. But his England tenure is best remembered for his insistence that his team had “flipping murdered” Zimbabwe in a drawn Test in Bulawayo, and perhaps also for his suspicions of the bowling action of Muttiah Muralitharan during a one-off Test against Sri Lanka at The Oval in 1998. He joined Sky in 1999 and is now known and loved well beyond cricket as Bumble, a nickname derived from The Goons which he received in the Lancashire dressing room early in his playing career.

But his considerable cricketing pedigree makes him one of Sky’s sharpest analysts of the game, although again that is easily overlooked because he wears it so lightly in his role as the clown of the commentary team . The Peter Smith Award was introduced in 1992 in memory of the former cricket correspondent of the Daily Mail who became the first media liaison officer at the Test and County Cricket Board, and an eclectic list of previous winners have included David Gower, Brian Lara, Sir Alec Bedser, Andy Flower (for defying Robert Mugabe with his Zimbabwe team-mate Henry Olonga) and Christopher Martin-Jenkins . David 'Bumble' Lloyd - 50 not out: From the 'pit of hate' as a player, to umpire, England coach and now the unmistakable voice of cricket... | Daily Mail Online comments David Lloyd sat in the pavilion at an Old Trafford ground which has changed beyond recognition since he first set foot in it and reflected on how it all began. ‘When you start, your ambition is to play international cricket and your stepping stone is county cricket. So then you work unbelievably hard to try to get better than the rest,’ said the man universally known as Bumble.

‘The dressing room toughened you up — and it was tough. But the seasoned senior professionals were absolutely brilliant. It was like having another father. They would knock you down but they would pick you up as well. They would discipline you but encourage you and it felt like being in the army. David Lloyd pictured at his second home Old Trafford 50 years on from beginning his professional career SO, WHY IS HE CALLED BUMBLE? In a Michael Bentine children’s show based on characters called The Bumblies from the Planet Bumble, the main character had a very big nose! ‘I never did national service but it was that sort of regime. The senior players changed upstairs while the juniors were downstairs in what was called the dogs’ home. We had to knock on the seniors’ door to go in even if we were in the team! It was a time I was moulded as a player and as a bloke.’ Bumble is back at his second home 50 years after he took, at 18, the first tentative steps in a professional career that has taken in playing, umpiring, coaching and, most vividly, talking about a game he still loves passionately.

One of the most highly regarded — and respected — figures in world cricket is approaching the Ashes celebrating a unique milestone as surely the most versatile and widely experienced man the game has seen. Bumble, simply, is a national treasure as he raises his bat for a very special half-century. ‘I had massive ambition when I were a lad,’ said Bumble as he remembered those first matches as a somewhat stodgy left-handed batsman in 1965. ‘I came from a terraced house in Accrington with an outside toilet and it was like Eric Burdon and The Animals — “We’ve got to get out of this place”. Well, that were me. After spells as a player, umpire and coach, 'Bumble' is most renowned for his exuberant commentary Lloyd remains a valuable asset in Sky Sports' commentary team even at the age of 68 ‘We had no money but I got unbelievable support from my parents and I would go to Manchester from Accrington for matches on a double decker bus. First thing I did was step on the platform and put my cricket bag in the space for luggage. There was no question of anyone nicking it.

But when I wanted to get rid of my lawnmower the other week I just left it outside our house and it was gone. ‘There was little to do after the war so you would get good crowds and great barrackers. There was Norman the postman and a bloke with a huge head called Ken. They would just shout from start to finish! It was known as the pit of hate. ‘I was a bit of a blocker to start with and I’d get “You’ll never die of a stroke!” and when my lad Graham started he got it as well — “You’ll never be as good as your father”. Well he were twice as good as me, to be honest. ‘But the supporters were good mates to the players. They formed a society called the Lancashire p*** pots and each year a player had to be president. His sole job was to get complimentary tickets for this lot who would then shout and barrack all day long. ‘At the end of the year you were presented with a chamber pot and at the bottom of it was a white rose so you would always be p****** on Yorkshire. We were on the circuit and we had a ball. We worked hard and played really hard.

That was handed down by the senior players.’ RELATED ARTICLES 75 shares Lloyd pictured in his Lancashire county attire at Old Trafford in April 1973 Lloyd and Cowdrey open the batting at Perth in the 1974-75 Ashes (left) before he turned coach (right) He went on to have a playing career of which he could be proud. ‘I played for England and I got a Test double hundred and a one-day century, so I fulfilled a lot of that ambition as a player. I’ll never forget the one-day hundred. I got 116 not out at Trent Bridge against Pakistan and we got 250. Tony Greig, who was fantastic to play with, said “We’re out of sight here. They’ll get nowhere near this”. They knocked them off with about 10 overs to spare!’ But retirement brought uncertainty. ‘I was like a fish out of water when I finished at 36. I tried my hand at selling double-glazing and I worked for a brewery. I was hopeless. I needed to get back into cricket and I found myself, having retired, going back to Old Trafford.

Well, you can’t keep wandering into the dressing room in your suit. It’s not your domain anymore.’ Getting back into the game came as an umpire. ‘I tended to keep the game going forward but I wasn’t like Ray Julian, who I had a wonderful regard for and loved standing with. He had all the lbws he had given written down in his little black book with a verdict alongside them like ‘absolutely plumb’ or ‘probably missing!’ It was a fabulous job.’ Bumble was back but it was not long before his journey was to take another detour and lead him into the world of coaching where he would again rise to the highest level when taking over the England team. England coach Lloyd talks to fast bowler Darren Gough during a net session at Headingley in 1997 England coach Lloyd with batsman Mike Atherton during practice before a Test in New Zealand in 1997 ‘The National Cricket Association were looking at junior initiatives and needed someone to front their Quick Cricket Programme,’ he recalled. ‘I had taken all my coaching badges while I played and they offered me the job.

I had to take it and from there I started doing England age group cricket and took the Under 19s on tour, lads like Andrew Flintoff and Marcus Trescothick. ‘Then I took over a cracking Lancashire team. We couldn’t win the County Championship but we were a real force. We were playing for the Red Rose. ‘When I moved up to international level we were under intense scrutiny. I remember being in Australia and Dean Jones, who is now a mate of mine, said on the telly “this England team need some fielding practice” after a catch went down. ‘So I went straight into his commentary box and said “Just to let you know, before you arrived here, we did an hour-and-a-half fielding and yesterday we did three hours”. I was always protecting the players. ‘I would get letters of complaint from members of the public and if I thought what they were saying was unfair I would ring them up. I’d say “David Lloyd here, England coach. I’d just like to chat with you about what you’ve said about our team”.

By the time we were finished they’d usually end up as my best mate.’ Lloyd And David Graveney looking worried in 1997 (left) while Graham Hick wrestles the coach (right) Bumble was ahead of his time as a coach, advocating central contracts and pioneering video analysis. In Pakistan in late 1997 ahead of England’s tour of the Caribbean, he turned up in Lahore complete with a clunky camcorder, recording the West Indies batsmen himself to show his team. ‘I was emotional as a coach but I wanted to win. I would sometimes look at the opposition and secretly think “Christ, they’re better than us” but I couldn’t let the players see that I thought that. ‘We had a good team, mind, but the problem was they were county players playing for England. They’d turn up for England having played a full round of county matches and faced teams who were preparing solely for the Test. ‘We’d even give the opposition the choice of balls! It was ludicrous. We were “After you Claude”. Stiff upper lip.

I said to Ian MacLaurin once — and he were great, it was a pleasure to be sacked by Lord MacLaurin — “Listen, we’re up against South Africa here and they’re a tough outfit. If they come at us we’re going straight back at them”. He just said to me “Carry on” and walked away.’ It was Bumble’s desire to scrap hard for England which landed him in hot water over his infamous ‘We flippin’ murdered em’ outburst after a draw against Zimbabwe in Bulawayo in 1996. ‘In football-speak what I was saying was that we had bombarded their goal and hit the bar three times but somehow it ended up 0-0. We flippin’ murdered them and they know it. But what I did regret was that it caused offence to Zimbabweans so I apologised for that. ‘I did a collection for Eddo Brandes when he did a charity thing so that put the record straight.’ The end for Bumble came, as it does for so many, after a dismal World Cup for England in 1999 but he was far from finished.

For it was then that he moved full-time into arguably the field of the game that has suited him best, that has made him a legend of cricket and a household nickname. Commentary. ‘Test Match Special gave me a fantastic opportunity to get into broadcasting through Peter Baxter and that was a riot from start to finish, a hoot. Bumble is fit as a fiddle and showing no signs of slowing down even at 68 years of age BBC Test Match Special commentators (left to right) Henry Blofeld, Peter Baxter and Lloyd in 1995 ‘You’d sit and listen, particularly to Fred Trueman who, with Bill Lawry, was my broadcasting hero. Bill is getting on for 80 but when he gets excited he’ll still stand up and flip his chair back in the box. Brilliant.’ Bumble moved on to Sky Sports where he manages to combine analysis of the game befitting a former national coach with that sense of fun and excitement that makes him one of the very best in his business. ‘It’s very natural for me to combine fun with the serious side of the game. If I get a sense of a lull I’ll have a look at what we can find in the crowd.

I’ve just hit on the ear-pieces and I love talking to people watching the game. ‘One of my favourites is if I see a couple and I’ll say to her “Have you come with your father?” That always gets a bit of a chuckle. It’s a natural thing for me. If there are 40 runs to win off 25 balls then you ain’t going into the crowd! It’s full on, then. ‘I reckon now after 50 years I’ve got the hang of it and I know a bit about it. I’m active on social media and carpenters and solicitors are telling me about cricket. ‘I feel like saying “I’ll preach to you about dovetail joints and litigation if you want”. But I still love it as much as ever.’ Bumble is associated with fun but he has a keen interest in the health of cricket and is not afraid to speak out about what he perceives as threats to it. ‘There are some things that worry me and principal among them is corruption. It is being policed and I hope they’re winning the battle but there are still so many rumours flying about. Some players are clearly not clean.

The IPL is a fabulous spectacle but it’s tainted and there’s no getting away from that. It’s tainted by rumour, conjecture and by unscrupulous administrators. ‘That’s a sadness. I loved working at the IPL and it was fantastic entertainment but it’s clearly a money vehicle for the players and owners and everything else is incidental.’ It is in television broadcasting and more specifically commentating that Bumble has excelled Bumble with Nasser Hussain and Ian Ward during a link for Sky Sports during the recent New Zealand series So, is there anything he would have changed in his rich career? ‘I’d like to have been a bit better as a player. But that’s what I was given and I did all right. After 50 years I’m coming to the end of what I do and that end is not too far away. Richie Benaud was still going into his 80s but I know that’s not for me.’ Hang on. What’s this. Surely Bumble is not hinting at retirement? He is as fit as a fiddle at 68 and still at the peak of his powers. Surely we can look forward to many more years with him enriching our enjoyment of cricket?

‘I want to do other things. I want to go on a canal boat and take a camper van around Scotland. I want to take the St Bees to Robin Hood’s Bay walk which takes three weeks. ‘I still want to ride a horse, too, and I don’t want to be too old to do these things. I have no ambition to go on too long. There will come a time when that’s it.’ Enjoy him while you can. Garry Sobers: Simply my all-time favourite cricketer. I would even pay to watch him play golf. Viv Richards: Great presence, fearless, destructive. An all-time great. Brian Lara: An entertainer. Left you gasping at his strokeplay. Kevin Pietersen: Best England batsman I have seen. Got you on the edge of your seat with devastating innings. Javed Miandad: Pakistan captain was a street-fighter with a glorious touch. FIVE FAVOURITE TESTS INDIA V ENGLAND IN CHENNAI 2008 We had gone back to India after the Mumbai bombings and Sachin Tendulkar won the Test for his side. Very emotional.

THE WHOLE OF THE 2005 SERIES Can’t pick out just one. They were five classics. Steve Harmison dismisses Michael Kasprowicz at Edgbaston in 2005 to give England a famous two-run win ENGLAND V AUSTRALIA AT CARDIFF IN 2009 Jimmy Anderson and Monty Panesar hanging on to prove that a draw can be just as exciting as a win. ENGLAND V PAKISTAN AT THE OVAL 2006 The umpires said Pakistan were ball tampering so they wouldn’t play on. Umpire Darrell Hair and Pakistan captain Inzamam-ul-Haq discuss ball tampering at The Oval in 2006 ENGLAND V WEST INDIES AT OLD TRAFFORD 1976 When Brian Close and John Edrich showed immense courage being battered by great fast bowlers. Bumble: Club Cricket Lifer | All Out Cricket | Club Cricket Special Sundries A former player for Accrington CC in Lancashire, where he made his first XI debut alongside West Indian great Wes Hall, David Lloyd is now president of the club where he first learned the game.

Between duties in the Sky Sports commentary box, he’s also a regular spectator at Bramhall CC in Cheshire and Easingwold CC in North Yorkshire, as well as being a patron of the Lancashire League. Arguably more than any other figure of his profile, he takes a keen interest in all levels of the game and cares deeply about the future of recreational cricket . Here he tells AOC all about it. ON PREMIER LEAGUES The ECB are really keen to revamp the structures – and they have done in many areas. My massive view is that premier leagues work. There’s been a resistance in Lancashire, where I’m based, to embrace premier leagues – because there’s that many empire builders (‘Not on my watch’ sort of thing) and they’re a bloody nuisance. But it’s there for all to see that it needs revamping in certain areas. The Central Lancashire League, the Lancashire League and the Ribbersdale League, in my opinion – and it’s only my opinion – should amalgamate into three divisions with promotion and relegation and a premier league at the top of it. Why? Because it will improve the standard of cricket– as simple as that.

The evidence is overwhelming throughout the country that standards at premier league level are improving. Facilities are getting better as well, though we’d like more money to develop them. ON WOMEN’S CLUB CRICKET I’ve got a watching brief on women’s cricket. The north-west is one of the most heavily populated for cricket and for any sport – but I don’t see much women’s cricket. I think there needs to be a real push, and it needs financial help and professional knowhow. I’m president at Accrington and I’d expect somebody from ECB to come and say ‘Why don’t you put some women’s cricket on?’ and I’d say ‘You come and help me do it – show me what to do. Where’s me coaches? Give me my expertise.’ I think we could do a lot more. Club Cricket Insurance: Choosing Your Cover #2 ON FALLING PARTICIPATION Why are numbers down? Falling participation is a red herring. In all sports, team sports especially, it is mainly down, and it’s only because there’s choice.

You can do what you want these days – you can go to the Trafford Centre and shop all day, it’s so easy to get to the coast… There are many, many other things you can do on a weekend. I’m not too worried about participation, because most cricket clubs will say, ‘We are inundated with kids. Fifty kids, 80 kids, 120 kids – we can’t cope with them!’ You get to 16 and there’s a big drop-off, as boys and girls find other things to do. They’re finding boys and girls! I don’t think it’s anything new at all – from when I played. I played club cricket at Accrington with all my mates, and they got to 15, 16 and thought, ‘Na, I’m not doing that.’ I’ve got a grandson who was a nice little player, he got to 16 – he’s an apprentice engineer, works away from home – he doesn’t play cricket. It’s choice. Nelson CC v Lowerhouse CC, back in 1967 So anybody that says it’s all about terrestrial television, my hair stands on end. I don’t know where you’re coming from!

If you want to watch sport, get Sky. It’ll cost you three pints of lager a week. It’s nothing to do with any television company that there’s less participation. Look at football – people watch the Premier League on Sky! I used to play football in the local combination and there were five divisions. There are two now. People go and watch the game. Motorway networks have dragged everything closer. I can get to Manchester in 30 minutes from Accrington, go and watch United or City. It used to take an hour and a half! There’s so much choice. ON AMALGAMATING CLUBS I’ll use my own example, as it’s what I know. Accrington is one town in a district called Hyndburn – there’s 35,000 people live there. There are still seven cricket clubs, all trying to turn three teams out on a Saturday and a Sunday. It’s ridiculous. There needs to be amalgamation! You can’t do it in this day and age. Look at Australia: there are great facilities at clubs, and lots of people trying to get into the teams.

There are not many teams in that area, and you have to go training to get into them. ON HIS ENDURING LOVE FOR THE CLUB GAME I just find going to watch the local club a very natural thing to do. When I’ve got time off, myself and my wife will put a little picnic up and go and watch, we might go for an hour – we’ll take the dog with us. (You get some silly clubs who don’t let the dog in! ‘I just want to come and watch, and here’s my dog – on a lead.’ ‘You can’t come in with a dog’. ‘Alright, see you later! I’ll go and spend my money somewhere else!’) It’s just natural for me. ‘We’ll go here, we’ll do this… oh, I’m just popping down to Easingwold for an hour’ – go and sit with my friends, chew the fat. At Accrington I’d meet up with guys who I’ve grown up with and played with. At Easingwold it’s just me mates. Lovely little ground, people sat round in their deck chairs, bit of tennis going on.

The sun comes in, you go and get a cup of tea from the bar – they don’t charge you to go in but there’s a raffle. It works. ON THE GLORY DAYS Wes Hall: Bumble’s old club teammate When I was growing up at Accrington my influence getting into the game was Wesley Hall – the West Indies opening bowler alongside Charlie Griffith. He was our professional. Bobby Simpson and Eddie Barlow were as well. These great players! Those guys looked after you as a young player with a bit of talent. And the grounds were full! They were great days, that got you hooked on cricket. I used to collect autographs of the great professionals on the league circuit. The Lancashire League later had Michael Holding, Viv Richards, Allan Donald , Shane Warne. One of the big stumbling blocks now is getting a visa for a player. It’s not that easy to do these days – but it develops his game and he gets involved with the club. It also gives the competition an edge. These days the crowds aren’t the same – you might play to 200 here and there, whereas in the glory days you’d have a thousand-odd every week.

ON ‘BARRACKERS’ Too many Barkers! Barrackers, the guys on the side, have been priceless over the years in club and league cricket. Keith Barker, now of Warwickshire, played club cricket for Enfield in the Lancashire League. There were his dad Keith, and his brothers Andy Barker and Gary Barker, all playing on the same team. A dog ran on the field and stopped play. Big Roland, chief barracker, staggered out of the bar and slurred: ‘Get that dog off there! There’s enough barkers on that field,’ then staggered back into the bar. That’s one of the best barracks there’s ever been. Absolutely brilliant. ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CLUB AND COUNTY CRICKET I have plenty of evidence that league cricketers in Lancashire have no affinity with the county club; no interest, not bothered. In some places more can be done to establish better links. The clubs and leagues used to play a match at Old Trafford against the county. Doesn’t happen anymore, but it should happen. There’s also still work to be done to integrate Asian cricketers into club and league cricket.

There a lot of areas that can be worked on and I’ve no doubt that there are lots of people doing lots of good work. ON HIS OPTIMISM FOR THE FUTURE OF RECREATIONAL CRICKET I’m very optimistic about the game. We’ll always produce cricketers. You look at the England team now, they all will have started in club and league cricket. ON HIS MESSAGE TO CLUB CRICKETERS Enjoy the game. Don’t get too uptight. I’ve got a couple of lads from Accrington, they get so uptight and they get banned from time to time, they’re striving and they can’t accept that they’ve not done that well. Relax. Enjoy it. It’s only cricket…! Read more about Bumble’s early days, and the rest of his life, in his new autobiography Last in the Tin Bath .

Tags: David Lloyd: 'Being on TV you've got to look right,' former cricketer reveals reasons for hitting the gym at 67 as Bumble beefs up | Daily Mail Online David Lloyd: 'Being on TV you've got to look right,' former cricketer reveals reasons for hitting the gym at 67 as Bumble beefs up David Lloyd is put through a gruelling gym regime twice a week by his son Ben Lloyd is a personal trainer and has converted his garage into a gym Bumble reveals vanity is behind his mission to get in shape 'Being on the TV you've got to look good,' the 67-year-old said comments We're in Accrington, home to one of the world’s biggest pie manufacturers, but the only thing on the menu for David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd is a cold, hard serving of torture. At the bottom of a cul-de-sac his son Ben has converted his garage into a gym with a treadmill, bike and stacks of weights. A neighbour unloading his shopping from a car peers inside quizzically. What is one of Britain’s national sporting treasures doing with a 10kg weight dangling from his head?

‘I know what people will be thinking: “What’s a man who’s turning 68 in a few months with a snapped achilles and a titanium knee playing at?”,’ says Bumble. David Lloyd is put through his paces by his personal trainer son Ben twice a week Bumble, a former England cricketer, shows off his muscles as he strikes a pose during a session The 68-year-old is all smiles despite being put through a gruelling regime Lloyd, who played county cricket for Lancashire, strains as he lifts dumbbells above his head Lloyd said vanity was part of his motivation for getting into shape, admitting appearing on TV was a factor Twice a week he is put through his paces by Ben, who owns a personal training business. He points to a poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger on the wall, all oiled, bronze skin and rippling muscles. ‘There’s absolutely zero chance of me looking like that,’ he says in that distinctive East Lancashire drawl, but he does admit that vanity has played a part in this mission.

Shortly after this session Bumble, a former Lancashire and England cricketer and coach, flew to Australia where he is commentating on the one-day international tri-series for Sky Sports with Nasser Hussain, David Gower, Andrew Strauss, Shane Warne, Michael Holding and Sir Ian Botham. Lloyd, who turns 68 in March, performs an exercise with a weight hanging from his head Son Ben gives Bumble a helping hand as he performs a bench press during the session Lloyd grimaces as he goes through a boxing exercise with his son ‘Being on TV you’ve got to look right,’ says Bumble, ‘I’m the oldest in our group and they’re very opinionated blokes, they don’t hold back on your appearance. ‘I realised I was getting out of shape because I wasn’t able to run any more with my knee so I wanted to do something about it’ Sportsmail columnist Bumble will be in Australia for two and a half months, keeping up his fitness regime with Ben advising him by email. ‘It’s a long time to be away but I enjoy it,’ says Bumble. We don’t all socialise together.

My mates are Mike Atherton, Nasser Hussain, Ian Ward and Andrew Strauss, that’s our little combo. The other lads are into a bit of fine dining, we don’t see them. They have jus and foam and we have curry and a pint.’ When Tommo brought a tear to Bumble's eye - Telegraph When Tommo brought a tear to Bumble's eye Top bloke all round: David Lloyd By Robert Philip In pics: England squad | Australia squad As a player, he was described by John Arlott as being 'one of the bravest and finest close fieldsmen in the world and a brilliant stroke-maker', averaging 42.46 in his brief international career of nine Tests. As a coach, his outspokenness caused much spluttering and spilled gin within the confines of Lord's but he was instrumental in the introduction of central contracts which have transformed England from whipping boys into Ashes winners. As a broadcaster, he has just been voted 'Most Popular Cricket Commentator of the Year' by the readers of Wisden magazine. Over the coming months he will bring his own unique brand of pithy northern humour to the Sky Sports coverage of the Ashes series.

But you can best judge a man by the loyalty and affection he inspires in his friends. Mention his name to Ian Botham, Bob Willis, Mike Atherton or just about anyone in the world of cricket from Australia to Antigua and the reaction will be the same. "Bumble? Top bloke…" Having spent a few hours in David Lloyd's company (the nickname, incidentally, came from his resemblance to one of Michael Bentine's friendly little aliens in his children's TV series The Bumblies) I can think of no more apposite portrait; top bloke, indeed. Lloyd's fascination with the Ashes dates back to 1958 when, as an 11-year-old, he followed the fortunes of Colin Cowdrey and co Down Under on the wireless of the family home in Water Street, Accrington. "Although my first love was football, as I grew older I knew I'd never be good enough to become a professional," recalls Bumble. "As a lad, I followed every Ashes series so I saw cricket as my escape. Remember the old Animals song, We Gotta Get Out Of This Place?, well, cricket was my way out of Water Street.

My parents were hard-working, lovely people, but it was a tough upbringing." When Lloyd did get out of the place, he found himself in an even tougher neighbourhood at the WACA, Perth, in December 1974 when he made his Ashes debut in the second Test. Pummelled into defeat by the fearsome bowling of Jeff Thomson and Dennis Lillee in the opening match which Lloyd missed through injury, England restored Bumble as opener and he quickly found himself joined at the wicket by the 42-year-old Cowdrey, who had been sitting with his feet up at home when he received an SOS (Save Our Skins) from the England selectors. With Thomson firing down leather rockets, Lloyd took the veteran aside and muttered: "You stay up that end against Max Walker because it's all going off down this end." A gesture Cowdrey would later describe "as the most generous act I have ever known in cricket". "Don't forget, they were eight-ball overs in those days," adds Lloyd, "and five of them were bouncers so there were only three balls you could have a dart at.

You'd be in there for an hour and then you'd glance up at the scoreboard to see you'd made six." After making a heroic 49 in his first knock, Lloyd was making dogged progress in the second innings when Thomson caught him 'full on' in the most tender part of the anatomy. "We wore little pink plastic boxes at the time which were totally unsuitable for the job," he explained. "It cracked open and what I had inside fired through before the box snapped shut again like a guillotine coming down. Even after 32 years, I lose my voice just thinking about it. There's retired hurt and then there's retired hurt…" Mike Denness and Tony Greig batted through to the end of day's play, thereby allowing Lloyd to nurse his injured 'pride', but there was more embarrassment to come later that night. "As the junior members of the two teams, Tommo and I were commanded to attend a movie premiere of Barry McKenzie Holds His Own, a sentiment very close to my own heart, I have to say.

I was still feeling a bit tender down under so Tommo had to carry me into the cinema like a sack of coal." Lloyd averaged a defiant 26 during the 'Lillee-Thomson Series' before a neck injury sustained while fielding not only prevented him playing in the sixth and final match but brought an end to his Test career. "I was never the same again. But what everyone forgets is that the '74 series was a cracking Ashes. OK, we lost 4-1, but Australia beat the West Indies of Viv Richards, Clive Lloyd and Gordon Greenidge 5-1 the following winter. We didn't have anything to frighten Australia with, it was pea-shooters against heavy artillery. "Australia were a great, great team. They had the best captain I've ever known in Greg Chappell – what a leader of men; uncompromising on the field but totally fair. I'd known Greg and a number of others from my time in the Lancashire League and they were honest as the day's long, thoroughly nice blokes who'd give you heaps and take heaps as well.

That's why I always shared a beer with them in the Aussie dressing room after each day's play." Lloyd did make a fleeting return to international cricket in 1980 when, as he puts it: "Beefy was appointed captain for about three weeks. I'd got hundreds in the Benson & Hedges zonal matches against the might of Minor Counties North and Scotland. Everyone else's matches had been rained off – it was a rotten May that year – and with the one-day series against the West Indies coming up I thought, 'Bloody 'ell, they're going to pick me'. What can I say? Malcolm Marshall breaks my arm and Beefy being Beefy says, 'You let me down there, Bumble...' To which I replied, 'Well, you should never have picked me in the first place." When his playing career finally finished in 1983, Lloyd became an umpire before serving as England coach from 1996-99, since when he has become an incisive yet always wryly amusing commentator. So, how does he rate England's chances in the 2006-7 Ashes series?

"First of all, if it's half as good as last summer's Ashes it will be a classic. I don't believe the propaganda coming out of Australia that England have everything to lose. Ricky Ponting has put it about that all the pressure is on England but I think it's on Australia – 100 per cent. "Playing in front of their own people in their own back yard, all those great players – Ponting, Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Justin Langer, Matthew Hayden – don't want to be members of a team which loses two Ashes series in a row. The last series will be remembered a century from now and the Aussies will still be hurting that they're the ones who will forever be remembered as the losers." Llloyd admits, however, that Marcus Trescothick's return to these shores will not help England's cause when the phoney war ends on Thursday with the start of the first Test. "It was staggering news and let's be honest here, a massive blow. Everybody thought that he was back on track and looking forward to touring Australia. I am surprised that Marcus was allowed to get so far but obviously the medical people thought he was right.

"The England dressing room will have been left absolutely reeling at this news and the situation calls for Andrew Flintoff to get hold of the team to say 'we've managed without Trescothick before so let's get down to business'. I think Alastair Cook will move up to open. Before this all happened, I thought that maybe Ian Bell or Paul Collingwood wouldn't play in the first Test. But now damage limitation means that they will probably move up one in the order with Cook opening the batting." Given Warne's exploits on English wickets last summer, Lloyd believes it would make good sense for the Australians to prepare spinning pitches this time round. "We couldn't cope with Warne last time but we've got a flippin' trump card in Monty [Panesar]. He is bloody good, a great talent. He looks ungainly in the field; he's painting by numbers as a fieldsman and a Rembrandt with a ball in his hand. He took eight wickets against Pakistan at Old Trafford in July and who did he get out? Inzamam-Ul-Haq, Younis Khan and Mohammad Yousuf. That'll do for me.

"Ricky Ponting says they're going to target Monty, I hope he does because Monty will bowl them out no bother. He's a match winner. If England bat first and make 450, it should be over to you, Monty. He's also a lovely level-headed lad, when I spoke to him before he left for Oz he told me 'Last year I was handing in my university dissertation and this year Ricky Ponting's talking about me'. Sad thing is, he [England coach Duncan Fletcher] ain't going to pick him, is he? I think he'll go for Ashley Giles instead." Whatever the personnel chosen and whatever the outcome, Lloyd will tell it like it is in his own inimitable manner which will ensure that no one will be spared his waspish wit. Not even those nearest and dearest to him can escape his withering comments when he deems it justified. Take his wife, Diana, who works at Old Trafford where Bumble was captain of Lancashire for many a long year. "Cricket daft, she is. She's even got her own bat and pads. She's only got buckles on them, not those strap around things.

She keeps them in the back of the car in case someone might be a man short and she's called upon to play." Is she good? "Diana? She's roobish, absolute roobish…!" Aye, he's a top bloke our Bumble. David 'Bumble' Lloyd: I take cricket seriously, but not myself - Telegraph The Ashes David 'Bumble' Lloyd: I take cricket seriously, but not myself David Lloyd arrives at the offices of his publisher to discover huge piles of his latest book awaiting his signature. It is a Great Wall of China of print and he sighs as he takes his pen from his pocket. Man of many talents: Former England player and coach and now commentator David Lloyd talks to Michael Vaughan Photo: GETTY Follow “Apparently people are more likely to buy if I sign them,” he says. “Flippin’ ’eck, there’s no accounting for taste.” And as he speaks, you are immediately transported to the sofa in front of your television, can of ale in hand, waiting in happy expectation for some of the most cheery catchphrases in sport.

“Start the car”, “flippin’ murdered ’em”, “time for a Root”: no one else has quite such a way with the English language as David Lloyd when he describes a cricket match to Sky’s audience. From the chirpy chirrup of Brian Johnston to the honeyed rumble of Michael Holding, cricket fans have been blessed over the years by the verbal quality of those who have delivered commentary. And Lloyd is at the heart of that rich vocal tradition. His observations, delivered in an Accrington lilt in which vowels are rolled around the mouth like a vintage claret, are never short of spice, never bereft of colour. “My dad was a lay preacher, didn’t say much, but he told me to be myself,” he says. “That’s what I am now. Though I admit every now and then the producers put their head in their hands: ‘What’s he done now?’ Take ‘Time for a Root’ [said when Joe of that ilk came out to bat for England for the first time]. Come on, somebody had to say it. So I did. It’s not malice. It’s mischief, double entendre.

That’s what I am: mischievous.” As anyone who follows him on Twitter, endlessly provoking Indian cricket fans, will testify. “Twitter? It’s an illness. I’m addicted. Can you get medical help? But I love it for the wind-up. It’s made for mischief.” In a way, Lloyd could not be anything other than a fan of mischief. It is not just the end-of-pier accent that suggests he was born without a gloomy gene. There are the eyebrows, too. Most of us have brows that run parallel to our eyes. Lloyd’s go up vertically, at right angles. It gives him the impression of being continually startled, as if his life is one long whoopy cushion. “Actually cricket is deadly serious for me. But you have to have enjoyment: I take cricket seriously, but not myself.” Related Articles Compton dropped from squad for Ashes opener 06 Jul 2013 That has been the approach long adopted by the man universally known as Bumble - due to his alleged facial similarity to characters in the children’s television series The Bumblies. Take his attitude to the Ashes. Few people have experienced the ancient rivalry from as many perspectives as Lloyd.

As player, coach and commentator, he has closely observed the England - Australia rivalry for more than four decades. And he has always managed to find a way to defuse tension with a laugh. Batting against the Aussies in Perth in 1974, for instance, Bumble was struck by a fizzing delivery from Jeff Thomson directly in what he calls The Balkans. It immediately demonstrated that protective gear back then was about as effective as damp cardboard, his box shattered, a shard of plastic embedding itself in his groin. It is enough to make grown men wince at the very mention of it, but Lloyd has managed to turn it into a hilarious 20-minute after-dinner turn, relishing how, at the hospital, he asked a nurse if she had any pills that might “take away the pain, but keep the swelling”. Twenty-five years later, Lloyd was England coach, in charge of a side about to face the finest Australian team of all time. “People say to me what did you do as coach? Did you pick the team? That makes me laugh.

If I’d have gone to Michael Atherton and said ‘do this, do that’, he’d have said: ‘It’s nothing to do with you, I’m the captain.’ ” Lloyd’s methods of preparation were, despite the jokes, far sighted. He was the first to employ physios, nutritionalists and fitness coaches in the England set-up. “We brought it up to date a little,” he says of his regime. “Mind, we got ridiculed for having six back-up staff. There’s 17 now. They’ll have a squad of 16 players, so there’s more back‑room than on the pitch.” This fashion for over-analysis worries Lloyd, a man whose attitude to the game is a simple one. “There’s too much theory around, they’re vanishing up their own backsides. See the ball, hit it, there’s the stumps aim at ’em. That’s all you need to know.” He sees the urge to over-complicate at work in the departure of Mickey Arthur, the Australian coach defenestrated soon after the visiting team arrived on these shores. “It’s Arthur’s fault now, but if England win the Ashes whose fault is it then?

There’s too much emphasis put on the coach. Did a coach motivate Gary Sobers, Sachin Tendulkar, Brian Lara, Shane Warne? No, a bit of talent helps. Australia are not as talented as England, simple as that. Man for man they aren’t. They can change their backroom as much as they like, they can’t change that.” Perhaps because he believes England hold all the cards in the forthcoming series, Lloyd cannot wait for the Ashes to begin. He cannot wait to see Kevin Pietersen, a player he describes as the best he has ever seen bat for England - “and I’ve seen Cowdrey, May, Geoff Boycott, all of them”. He cannot wait for the camaraderie of the Sky commentary box - “it works partly because we don’t have a lot in common, I mean what use would I have for £200 bottles of wine?” And most of all he cannot wait to frame his words into the microphone. “As a player and coach I was sensitive to criticism from the media, I admit. I read every bloomin’ word.

It makes me laugh when players say ‘I don’t read a word of it’ because they always know when someone has a go at them. They all say, ‘oh no, we watch the telly with the sound down, but what you said is out of order’. Egos, you see. I’ve not met a cricketer yet in 50 years who doesn’t know exactly what we say about them.” Which, you suspect, makes a man as addicted to mischief as Lloyd all the more likely to say something fruity over the next few weeks. The Ashes According To Bumble by David Lloyd is published by Harper Sport (£16.99).

Question: Which former England Cricket player was nicknamed 'Bumble'?
Answer: DAVID LLOYD.