Judaism 101: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation Level: Basic  Jews become responsible for observing the commandments at the age of 13 for boys, 12 for girls  This age is marked by a celebration called bar (or bat) mitzvah  Some synagogues have an additional celebration called confirmation Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah "Bar Mitzvah" literally means "son of the commandment." "Bar" is "son" in Aramaic, which used to be the vernacular of the Jewish people . "Mitzvah" is "commandment" in both Hebrew and Aramaic. "Bat" is daughter in Hebrew and Aramaic. (The Ashkenazic pronunciation is "bas").

Technically, the term refers to the child who is coming of age, and it is strictly correct to refer to someone as "becoming a bar (or bat) mitzvah." However, the term is more commonly used to refer to the coming of age ceremony itself, and you are more likely to hear that someone is "having a bar mitzvah" or "invited to a bar mitzvah." So what does it mean to become a bar mitzvah? Under Jewish Law, children are not obligated to observe the commandments, although they are encouraged to do so as much as possible to learn the obligations they will have as adults. At the age of 13 (12 for girls), children become obligated to observe the commandments. The bar mitzvah ceremony formally, publicly marks the assumption of that obligation, along with the corresponding right to take part in leading religious services , to count in a minyan (the minimum number of people needed to perform certain parts of religious services), to form binding contracts, to testify before religious courts and to marry.

A Jewish boy automatically becomes a bar mitzvah upon reaching the age of 13 years, and a girl upon reaching the age of 12 years. No ceremony is needed to confer these rights and obligations. The popular bar mitzvah ceremony is not required, and does not fulfill any commandment. It is certainly not, as one episode of the Simpsons would have you believe, necessary to have a bar mitzvah in order to be considered a Jew! The bar or bat mitzvah is a relatively modern innovation, not mentioned in the Talmud , and the elaborate ceremonies and receptions that are commonplace today were unheard of as recently as a century ago. In its earliest and most basic form, a bar mitzvah is the celebrant's first aliyah . During Shabbat services on a Saturday shortly after the child's 13th birthday, or even the Monday or Thursday weekday services immediately after the child's 13th birthday, the celebrant is called up to the Torah to recite a blessing over the weekly reading . Today, it is common practice for the bar mitzvah celebrant to do much more than just say the blessing.

It is most common for the celebrant to learn the entire haftarah portion, including its traditional chant, and recite that. In some congregations, the celebrant reads the entire weekly torah portion, or leads part of the service, or leads the congregation in certain important prayers. The celebrant is also generally required to make a speech, which traditionally begins with the phrase "today I am a man." The father traditionally recites a blessing thanking G-d for removing the burden of being responsible for the son's sins (because now the child is old enough to be held responsible for his own actions). In modern times, the religious service is followed by a reception that is often as elaborate as a wedding reception. In Orthodox and Chasidic practice, women are not permitted to participate in religious services in these ways, so a bat mitzvah, if celebrated at all, is usually little more than a party. In other movements of Judaism, the girls do exactly the same thing as the boys. It is important to note that a bar mitzvah is not the goal of a Jewish education, nor is it a graduation ceremony marking the end of a person's Jewish education. We are obligated to study Torah throughout our lives.

To emphasize this point, some rabbis require a bar mitzvah student to sign an agreement promising to continue Jewish education after the bar mitzvah. Sadly, an alarming number of Jewish parents today view the bar or bat mitzvah as the sole purpose of Jewish education, and treat it almost as a Jewish hazing ritual: I had to go through it, so you have to go through it, but don't worry, it will all be over soon and you'll never have to think about this stuff again. Confirmation Confirmation is a somewhat less widespread coming of age ritual that occurs when a child is 16 or 18. Confirmation was originally developed by the Reform movement , which scorned the idea that a 13 year old child was an adult (but see explanation below ). They replaced bar and bat mitzvah with a confirmation ceremony at the age of 16 or 18. However, due to the overwhelming popularity of the bar or bat mitzvah, the Reform movement has revived the practice. I don't know of any Reform synagogues that do not encourage the practice of bar and bat mitzvahs at age 13 today.

In some Conservative synagogues, however, the confirmation concept has been adopted as a way to continue a child's Jewish education and involvement for a few more years. Is 13 an Adult? Many people mock the idea that a 12 or 13 year old child is an adult, claiming that it is an outdated notion based on the needs of an agricultural society. This criticism comes from a misunderstanding of the significance of becoming a bar mitzvah. Bar mitzvah is not about being a full adult in every sense of the word, ready to marry, go out on your own, earn a living and raise children. The Talmud makes this abundantly clear. In Pirkei Avot , it is said that while 13 is the proper age for fulfillment of the Commandments, 18 is the proper age for marriage and 20 is the proper age for earning a livelihood. Elsewhere in the Talmud, the proper age for marriage is said to be 16-24. Bar mitzvah is simply the age when a person is held responsible for his actions and minimally qualified to marry.

If you compare this to secular law, you will find that it is not so very far from our modern notions of a child's maturity. In Anglo-American common law, a child of the age of 14 is old enough to assume many of the responsibilities of an adult, including minimal criminal liability. Under United States law, 14 is the minimum age of employment for most occupations (though working hours are limited so as not to interfere with school). In many states, a fourteen year old can marry with parental consent. Children of any age are permitted to testify in court, and children over the age of 14 are permitted to have significant input into custody decisions in cases of divorce. Certainly, a 13-year-old child is capable of knowing the difference between right and wrong and of being held responsible for his actions, and that is all it really means to become a bar mitzvah. Gifts One of the most common questions I get on this site is: do you give gifts at a bar or bat mitzvah, and if so, what kind of gifts? Yes, gifts are commonly given. They are ordinarily given at the reception, not at the service itself.

Please keep in mind that a bar mitzvah is incorporated into an ordinary sabbath service, and many of the people present at the service may not be involved in the bar mitzvah. The nature of the gift varies significantly depending on the community. At one time, the most common gifts were a nice pen set or a college savings bond (usually in multiples of $18, a number that is considered to be favorable in Jewish tradition, see: Hebrew Alphabet: Numerical Values ). In many communities today, however, the gifts are the same sort that you would give any child for his 13th birthday. It is best to avoid religious gifts if you don't know what you're doing, but Jewish-themed gifts are not a bad idea. For example, you might want to give a book that is a biography of a Jewish person that the celebrant might admire. I hesitate to get into specifics, for fear that some poor celebrant might find himself with several copies of the same thing! When in doubt, it never hurts to ask the parents or the synagogue's rabbi what is customary within the community.

© Copyright 5756-5771 (1996-2011), Tracey R Rich If you appreciate the many years of work I have put into this site, show your appreciation by linking to this page, not copying it to your site. I can't correct my mistakes or add new material if it's on your site. Click Here for more details. Bar Mitzvah 101 - An overview: Everything you need to know about becoming a bar mitzvah - Bar Mitzvah An overview: Everything you need to know about becoming a bar mitzvah Discuss (8) Mazal Tov! Welcome, and mazal tov on your upcoming celebration! Whether you are preparing for your own bar mitzvah or arranging a bar mitzvah for your son or someone else, this site is for you. We intend to be the most comprehensive online resource for all your bar mitzvah preparation needs. Bar mitzvah preparations can be both exciting and overwhelming. Don’t know where to start? This article will guide you through the steps necessary for preparing a bar mitzvah and explain the significance of this special milestone.

What Is a Bar Mitzvah? According to Jewish law, at the age of thirteen a boy is no longer considered a minor and is responsible to fulfill all the Torah’s commandments. The term “bar mitzvah” literally means “son of the mitzvah,” or one who is obligated in mitzvah observance. The obligation is automatic, whether or not a celebration or special ceremony is held. But since becoming a bar mitzvah is such an important milestone and joyous occasion, we make a point of celebrating together with family and friends. How Is a Bar Mitzvah Celebrated? From time immemorial, Jewish custom has been to mark this milestone with a synagogue ceremony welcoming the bar mitzvah boy to the world of Jewish adulthood and initiating him in the opportunities and responsibilities that come along with his new status. The Bar Mitzvah ceremony varies somewhat between communities, but the basic components remain the same. We will explore all the customary practices in the order of their importance. Follow the links at the bottom of each section for deeper insights and practical tools to help you prepare for the big day. We hope you enjoy! The Mitzvah of Tefillin What Are Tefillin?

Tefillin are black leather boxes containing parchments inscribed with the Shema and other biblical passages. The Torah commands adult Jewish men to bind the tefillin onto the head and upper arm with leather straps in fulfillment of the verse, "You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they should be for a reminder between your eyes" ( Deuteronomy 6:8) . Tefillin are worn during weekday morning prayers. The tefillin are worn on the head and on the arm, close to the heart, as a reminder that we must harness our intellect, emotions and actions in the service of G‑d. Jews have lovingly and devotedly performed this mitzvah for over 3,000 years, exactly as we perform it today. Tefillin and the Bar Mitzvah: Although young boys are trained to keep all the mitzvahs even before their bar mitzvah, tefillin are the exception. A boy does not put on tefillin until he approaches the age of thirteen. For this reason, more than any other practice, tefillin have always served as the mark of honor that a boy receives upon his bar mitzvah.

Traditionally, the purchase of tefillin for a bar mitzvah boy is regarded with special pride by his parents and grandparents. Resources Check out our comprehensive Tefillin section . The Aliyah When the Torah is publicly read in the synagogue (on Shabbat, Monday and Thursday mornings, holidays and fast days), congregants are called up for an aliyah: the honor of reciting one of the blessings over the Torah. Originally, the person called up (the oleh) would read a section from the Torah himself. But because these days many lack the necessary training, there is a designated "reader" who reads the section out loud, while the oleh reads along quietly (or listens). Aliyah means "ascent," referring both to the physical ascent onto the platform where the Torah is read and to the spiritual elevation experienced at that time. Traditionally, a boy is honored with an aliyah on the first "Torah-reading-day" that follows his thirteenth birthday. Some wait for the first Shabbat that follows the bar mitzvah. In order to receive an aliyah, one must be familiar with the procedure of being called up to the Torah and know the blessings recited before and after the reading.

Resources Learn how to chant the blessings of the Aliyah like a pro . The Party Jewish adulthood comes with many responsibilities, but it is also an enormous privilege. One would be hard-pressed to think of a more joyous occasion to celebrate than a bar mitzvah. In fact, according to some opinions, to arrange a feast in honor of a bar mitzvah is a mitzvah in itself! Most bar mitzvah celebrations take place directly after the synagogue ceremony and include a festive meal followed by music (if it is not Shabbat) and dancing. When choosing a date, keep in mind that if you are not able to have the party on the day of the actual Bar Mitzvah (i.e. the boy’s thirteenth Jewish birthday) you should plan an additional small celebration on that day. One final note: It has become the norm in many communities to celebrate a bar mitzvah on the same scale as a wedding. It’s important to mention that just as the wedding party is secondary to the wedding ceremony, the Bar Mitzvah ceremony is much more important than the party, and should be the central focus of the preparations. More on the ceremony check out The Ceremony section.

The Bar Mitzvah Speech It’s customary for the bar mitzvah boy to deliver a speech, either in the synagogue after the Torah reading or at the reception that follows. The speech usually consists of a thought from the weekly Torah portion, which the young man will apply in some way to his own life. The purpose of the speech is to encourage the bar mitzvah boy in the Jewish tradition of sharing the Torah one has learned with others. The speech is also the perfect opportunity to announce the Mitzvah project and thank parents, family and friends. Resources Check out our bar mitzvah speech section for everything you'll need to crearte the perfect speech. Chanting the Haftarah or Torah Portion In some communities it is customary for the bar mitzvah boy to chant the Torah reading, or at least one section of it. Others have the custom of honoring the bar mitzvah boy with the final aliyah, known as “Maftir,” after which he chants the haftarah--the reading from the prophets which follows the Shabbat Torah reading.

However many are of the opinion that this custom has no source, and is therefore not a requirement for the bar mitzvah ceremony. The Lubavitcher Rebbe writes that in preparation for accepting "the yoke of mitzvot," the bar mitzvah boy should spend time studying the fundamentals of Judaism, including the laws regulating daily life. Preparing to read from the Torah or chant the haftarah is time consuming and not nearly as important as the above studies. It's therefore preferable to spend this precious time on more important subjects. Resources Check out our interactive torah trainer that will help you prepare to chant your Torah and Haftarah portion like a pro! Mitzvah Project The Torah contains 613 mitzvahs--rather an overwhelming prospect for the bar mitzvah boy. What better way to prepare to observe them than by taking one mitzvah and making it his own? For a “mitzvah project,” the boy researches one mitzvah in depth so that, when the time comes, he is able to observe it to the fullest.

The mitzvah project can be something to help others, such as a charity drive, which will encourage him in the Jewish tradition of chessed,(kindness), or it can be a mitzvah such as tefillin. Whatever mitzvah he chooses, he will certainly gain tremendous satisfaction from his work. Resources Learn more about the Mitzvah project, including tips and suggestions here . Preparation and Study Now that you know what a bar mitzvah entails, it’s time to start preparing! The Right Focus A bar mitzvah is not just a once in a lifetime event, rather it’s an important link in a continuous chain of religious and spiritual experiences. Therefore the most important aspect of the bar mitzvah is not the party or the performance, but the impact and long term effect this experience will have on the young man’s identity as a Jew. The preparations for the bar mitzvah should reflect this focus and not be dominated by less important matters.

The young man should spend the months leading up to the bar mitzvah brushing up on the how-tos of the mitzvahs, learning about the importance of observing them, and deepening his understanding of what it means to be Jewish. Of course, it’s impossible to cover everything in a few months. The best preparation for a meaningful and fulfilling Jewish life is an education at a Jewish school, or an after-school program or Sunday Hebrew school. But regardless of previous Jewish education, all bar mitzvah boys engage in a special course of study to prepare for the big day. Bar Mitzvah Lessons and Choosing a Synagogue Why choose bar mitzvah lessons? Bar mitzvah lessons help the bar mitzvah boy gear up for the big day. What will be taught in the lessons? The content of the lessons will vary depending on the student's prior education, the customs of the community and the personal goals the boy and his parents may have. For some, the lessons will include reading Hebrew and learning the blessings for the aliyah, while for others they may consist of learning to chant the haftarah, or a portion of the Torah and how to lead the prayer services.

The lessons usually also help with preparing a bar mitzvah speech. How long before the bar mitzvah should we start our lessons? The optimal preparation time can vary between six and eighteen months, depending on the Hebrew reading level of the student and whether he wants to learn to read from the Torah or chant the haftarah. The earlier the lessons start, the less pressure there will be on the bar mitzvah boy as the date approaches. Choosing a bar mitzvah teacher and synagogue When seeking a bar mitzvah teacher, look for someone who will focus on making this a meaningful experience for the bar mitzvah boy, in addition to preparing him technically for the performance. If you are affiliated with a synagogue, the rabbi may be able to give the lessons himself, or may refer you to someone else. If you are not affiliated, or are seeking a bar mitzvah trainer, we have two options for you: You can search for a Chabad Rabbi in your area , or, if you prefer, check out our Live online one-on-one bar mitzvah lessons .

To learn more about Chabad click here Choosing the proper date A boy becomes bar mitzvah on his 13th birthday on the Hebrew calendar. Make sure to schedule the celebration for the Jewish birthday, or shortly thereafter. Use our bar mitzvah date calculator to check the date. Bar Mitzvah Gifts Traditional gifts for the bar mitzvah boy include books with religious or educational value, religious items, gift certificates, or money. Monetary gifts in multiples of 18 are considered to be particularly auspicious and have become very common for bar mitzvahs. As mentioned above, traditionally the parents or grandparents of the bar mitzvah boy take special pride in purchasing his first set of tefillin. Resources Bar & Bat Mitzvah - My Jewish Learning Bar & Bat Mitzvah What You Need to Know About Bar/Bat Mitzvah Coming of age for a Jew, which happens automatically at age 13 for a boy and 12 for a girl, is termed bar and bat mitzvah, that is, obligated to perform the Jewish mitzvot (commandments). The ceremony marking this rite of passage dates back to the fifth century.

Judaism 101: The Role of Women The Role of Women  In Judaism, G-d is neither male nor female  The Talmud says both good and bad things about women  Women are not required to perform certain commandments  Certain commandments are reserved specifically for women  The first of the month is a minor festival for women  Men and women sit separately in traditional synagogues  The idea of Lilith as a feminist hero is based on a questionable source The role of women in traditional Judaism has been grossly misrepresented and misunderstood. The position of women is not nearly as lowly as many modern people think; in fact, the position of women in halakhah (Jewish Law) that dates back to the biblical period is in many ways better than the position of women under American civil law as recently as a century ago. Many of the important feminist leaders of the 20th century (Gloria Steinem, for example, and Betty Friedan) are Jewish women, and some commentators have suggested that this is no coincidence: the respect accorded to women in Jewish tradition was a part of their ethnic culture. In traditional Judaism, women are for the most part seen as separate but equal.

Women's obligations and responsibilities are different from men's, but no less important (in fact, in some ways, women's responsibilities are considered more important, as we shall see). The equality of men and women begins at the highest possible level: G-d . In Judaism, unlike traditional Christianity, G-d has never been viewed as exclusively male or masculine. Judaism has always maintained that G-d has both masculine and feminine qualities. As one Chasidic rabbi explained it to me, G-d has no body, no genitalia, therefore the very idea that G-d is male or female is patently absurd. We refer to G-d using masculine terms simply for convenience's sake, because Hebrew has no neutral gender; G-d is no more male than a table is. Both man and woman were created in the image of G-d. According to most Jewish scholars, "man" was created in Gen. 1:27 with dual gender, and was later separated into male and female. According to traditional Judaism, women are endowed with a greater degree of "binah" (intuition, understanding, intelligence) than men. The rabbis inferred this from the fact that woman was "built" (Gen.

2:22) rather than "formed" (Gen. 2:7), and the Hebrew root of "build" has the same consonants as the word "binah." It has been said that the matriarchs (Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah) were superior to the patriarchs ( Abraham , Isaac and Jacob ) in prophecy. Women did not participate in the idolatry regarding the Golden Calf. See Rosh Chodesh below. Some traditional sources suggest that women are closer to G-d's ideal than men. Women have held positions of respect in Judaism since biblical times. Miriam is considered one of the liberators of the Children of Israel , along with her brothers Moses and Aaron . One of the Judges (Deborah) was a woman. Seven of the 55 prophets of the Bible were women (they are included in the list of biblical prophets ). The Ten Commandments require respect for both mother and father. Note that the father comes first in Ex. 20:12, but the mother comes first in Lev. 19:3, and many traditional sources point out that this reversal is intended to show that both parents are equally entitled to honor and reverence. There were many learned women of note.

The Talmud and later rabbinical writings speak of the wisdom of Berurya, the wife of Rabbi Meir. In several instances, her opinions on halakhah (Jewish Law) were accepted over those of her male contemporaries. In the ketubah (marriage contract) of Rabbi Akiba 's son, the wife is obligated to teach the husband Torah ! Many rabbis over the centuries have been known to consult their wives on matters of Jewish law relating to the woman's role, such as laws of kashrut and women's cycles . The wife of a rabbi is referred to as a rebbetzin, practically a title of her own, which should give some idea of her significance in Jewish life. There can be no doubt, however, that the Talmud also has many negative things to say about women. Various rabbis at various times describe women as lazy, jealous, vain and gluttonous, prone to gossip and particularly prone to the occult and witchcraft. Men are repeatedly advised against associating with women, although this is usually because of man's lust rather than because of any shortcoming in women.

It is worth noting that the Talmud also has negative things to say about men, frequently describing men as particularly prone to lust and forbidden sexual desires. Women are discouraged from pursuing higher education or religious pursuits, but this seems to be primarily because women who engage in such pursuits might neglect their primary duties as wives and mothers. The rabbis are not concerned that women are not spiritual enough; rather, they are concerned that women might become too spiritually devoted. The rights of women in traditional Judaism are much greater than they were in the rest of Western civilization until the 20th century. Women had the right to buy, sell, and own property, and make their own contracts, rights which women in Western countries (including America) did not have until about 100 years ago. In fact, Proverbs 31:10-31, which is traditionally read at Jewish weddings, speaks repeatedly of business acumen as a trait to be prized in women (v. 11, 13, 16, and 18 especially). Women have the right to be consulted with regard to their marriage . Marital sex is regarded as the woman's right, and not the man's.

Men do not have the right to beat or mistreat their wives, a right that was recognized by law in many Western countries until a few hundred years ago. In cases of rape, a woman is generally presumed not to have consented to the intercourse, even if she enjoyed it, even if she consented after the sexual act began and declined a rescue! This is in sharp contrast to American society, where even today rape victims often have to overcome public suspicion that they "asked for it" or "wanted it." Traditional Judaism recognizes that forced sexual relations within the context of marriage are rape and are not permitted; in many states in America today, rape within marriage is still not a crime. There is no question that in traditional Judaism, the primary role of a woman is as wife and mother, keeper of the household. However, Judaism has great respect for the importance of that role and the spiritual influence that the woman has over her family. The Talmud says that when a pious man marries a wicked woman, the man becomes wicked, but when a wicked man marries a pious woman, the man becomes pious.

The child of a Jewish woman and a gentile man is Jewish because of the mother's spiritual influence; the child of a Jewish man and a gentile woman is not. See Who Is a Jew? Women are exempted from all positive mitzvot ("thou shalts" as opposed to "thou shalt nots") that are time-related (that is, mitzvot that must be performed at a specific time of the day or year), because the woman's duties as wife and mother are so important that they cannot be postponed to fulfill a mitzvah. After all, a woman cannot be expected to just drop a crying baby when the time comes to perform a mitzvah. She cannot leave dinner unattended on the stove while she davens ma'ariv (evening prayer services). It is this exemption from certain mitzvot that has led to the greatest misunderstanding of the role of women in Judaism. First, many people make the mistake of thinking that this exemption is a prohibition.

On the contrary, although women are not required to perform time-based positive mitzvot, they are generally permitted to observe such mitzvot if they choose (though some are frustrated with women who insist on performing visible, prestigious optional mitzvot while they ignore mundane mandatory ones). Second, because this exemption diminishes the role of women in the synagogue , many people perceive that women have no role in Jewish religious life. This misconception derives from the mistaken assumption that Jewish religious life revolves around the synagogue. It does not; it revolves around the home, where the woman's role is every bit as important as the man's. Women's Mitzvot: Nerot, Challah and Niddah In Jewish tradition, there are three mitzvot (commandments) that are reserved for women: nerot (lighting candles), challah (separating a portion of dough), and niddah (sexual separation during a woman's menstrual period and ritual immersion afterwards). If a woman is present who can perform these mitzvot, the privilege of fulfilling the mitzvah is reserved for the woman. Two of these mitzvot can be performed by a man if no woman is present.

The third, for reasons of biology, is limited to the woman. All of these mitzvot are related to the home and the family, areas where the woman is primarily responsible. The first of these women's mitzvot is nerot (literally, "lights") or hadlakat ha-ner (literally, "lighting the lights"), that is, the privilege of lighting candles to mark the beginning of the Shabbat or a holiday . The lighting of candles officially marks the beginning of sacred time for the home; once candles are lit, any restrictions or observances of the holiday are in effect. The lighting of candles is a rabbinical mitzvah, rather than a mitzvah from the Torah . See Halakhah: Jewish Law for an explanation of the distinction. The second woman's mitzvah is challah, that is, the privilege of separating a portion of dough from bread before baking it. This mitzvah comes from Num. 15:20, where we are commanded to set aside a portion of dough for the kohein.

This mitzvah is only in full effect in Israel; however, the rabbis determined that Jews throughout the world should be reminded of this mitzvah by separating a piece of dough before baking it and burning the dough. You may have noticed that on boxes of matzah at Pesach , there is usually a notation that says "Challah Has Been Taken," which means that this mitzvah has been fulfilled for the matzah. Note that this mitzvah has little to do with the traditional Shabbat bread, which is also called "challah." See Jewish Food: Challah for more information about the Shabbat bread. The third woman's mitzvah is the obligation to separate herself from her husband during her menstrual period and to immerse herself in a mikvah (ritual bath) after the end of her menstrual period. The Torah prohibits sexual intercourse during a woman's menstrual period. This ritual immersion marks the end of that period of separation and the resumption of the couple's sexual activities. For more information about this practice, see Kosher Sex: Niddah .

Some sources point out that the name Chanah is an acronym of the names of these three mitzvot (Challah, Niddah, and Hadlakat HaNer). In the Bible , Chanah was the mother of Samuel and a prophetess . She is considered in Jewish tradition to be a role model for women. Women's Holiday: Rosh Chodesh Rosh Chodesh , the first day of each month, is a minor festival. There is a custom that women do not work on Rosh Chodesh. A midrash teaches that each of the Rosh Chodeshim was originally intended to represent the one of the twelve tribes of Israel, just as the three major festivals ( Pesach , Sukkot and Shavu'ot ) each represent one of the three patriarchs . However, because of the sin of the Golden Calf, the holiday was taken away from the men and given to women, as a reward for the women's refusal to participate in the construction of the Golden Calf. How do we know that women didn't participate in the Golden Calf incident? The midrash notes that Exodus 32 says that "the people" came to Aaron and asked him to make an idol.

Aaron told them to get the golden rings from their wives and their sons and their daughters. Note that the biblical verse doesn't say anything about "the people" getting the rings from their husbands, only from wives and sons and daughters, from which we can infer that "the people" in question were the men. Then Ex. 32:3 says that "the people" broke off the golden rings that were in their ears. The bible does not say that they got the gold from their wives and sons and daughters; rather, it says that "the people" (i.e., the same people) gave their own gold. The midrash explains that the men went back to their wives and the wives refused to give their gold to the creation of an idol. As a reward for this, the women were given the holiday that was intended to represent the tribes. The Role of Women in the Synagogue To understand the limited role of women in synagogue life, it is important to understand the nature of mitzvot (commandments) in Judaism and the separation of men and women.

Judaism recognizes that it is mankind's nature to rebel against authority; thus, one who does something because he is commanded to is regarded with greater merit than one who does something because he chooses to. The person who refrains from pork because it is a mitzvah has more merit than the person who refrains from pork because he doesn't like the taste. In addition, the mitzvot that were given to the Jewish people are regarded as a privilege, and the more mitzvot one is obliged to observe, the more privileged one is. Because women are not required to perform certain mitzvot, their observance of those mitzvot does not "count" for group purposes. Thus, a woman's voluntary attendance at daily worship services does not count toward a minyan (the 10 people necessary to recite certain prayers), a woman's voluntary recitation of certain prayers does not count on behalf of the group (thus women cannot lead services), and a woman's voluntary reading from the Torah does not count towards the community's obligation to read from the Torah.

The same is true of boys under the age of 13 , who are not obligated to perform any mitzvot, though they are permitted to perform them. In addition, because women are not obligated to perform as many mitzvot as men are, women are regarded as less privileged. It is in this light that one must understand the man's prayer thanking G-d for "not making me a woman." The prayer does not indicate that it is bad to be a woman, but only that men are fortunate to be privileged to have more obligations. The corresponding women's prayer, thanking G-d for making me "according to his will," is not a statement of resignation to a lower status (hardly an appropriate sentiment for prayer!) On the contrary, this prayer should be understood as thanking G-d for giving women greater binah, for making women closer to G-d's idea of spiritual perfection, and for all the joys of being a woman generally. The second thing that must be understood is the separation of men and women during prayer. According to Jewish Law, men and women must be separated during prayer, usually by a wall or curtain called a mechitzah or by placing women in a second floor balcony.

There are two reasons for this: first, your mind is supposed to be on prayer, not on the pretty girl praying near you. Second, many pagan religious ceremonies at the time Judaism was founded involved sexual activity and orgies, and the separation prevents or at least discourages this. Interestingly, although men should not be able to see women during prayer, women are permitted to see men during prayer. This seems to reflect the opinion that women are better able to concentrate on prayer with an attractive member of the opposite sex visible. The combination of this exemption from certain mitzvot and this separation often has the result that women have an inferior place in the synagogue. Women are not obligated by Jewish law to attend formal religious services, and cannot participate in many aspects of the services (traditional Jewish services have a very high degree of "audience participation" -- and I'm not just talking about community readings, I'm talking about actively taking part in running the service), so they have less motivation to attend. Woman's obligations in the home (which are the reason why women are exempt from time-based mitzvot like formal prayer services) often keep them away from synagogue.

In several synagogues that I have attended, the women's section is poorly climate controlled, and women cannot see (sometimes can't even hear!) what's going on in the men's section, where the services are being led. This has improved somewhat in recent years, but men: if you think I'm lying, ask your wives. But as I said before, this restriction on participation in synagogue life does not mean that women are excluded the Jewish religion, because the Jewish religion is not just something that happens in synagogue. Judaism is something that permeates every aspect of your life, every thing that you do, from the time you wake up in the morning to the time you go to bed, from what you eat and how you dress to how you conduct business. Prayer services are only a small, though important, part of the Jewish religion. Lilith Lilith is a character who appears in passing in the Talmud and in rabbinical folklore. She is a figure of evil, a female demon who seduces men and threatens babies and women in childbirth. She is described as having long hair and wings (Erub. 100b; Nid. 24b).

It is said that she seizes men who sleep in a house alone, like a succubus (Shab. 151b). She is also mentioned in midrashim and kabbalistic works, in which she is considered to be the mother of demons. Her name probably comes from the Hebrew word for night (laila). She is similar to and probably based on a pagan demon named Lulu or Lilu that appears in Gilgamesh and other Sumerian and Babylonian folklore. In recent years, some women have tried to reinvent Lilith, turning her into a role model for women who do not accept male domination or a rival goddess to the traditions that they think are too male-biased. For example, a number of female musical artists participated a concert tour called "Lilith Fair" a few years ago, and the name "Lilith" was clearly chosen to represent female empowerment. This revisionist view of Lilith is based primarily on a work called the Alphabet of Ben Sira, which portrays Lilith as Adam's first wife who was rejected because she wanted to be on top during sexual intercourse. Lilith was replaced with Eve, a more submissive second wife. The complete story is presented here .

Many modern commentators describe this as part of the Talmud or midrash, or at least a traditional Jewish source, and claim that this story reflects the traditional rabbinical understanding of the roles of men and women. Feminists reject the negative characterization of Lilith's actions in this story. They claim Lilith was a hero who was demonized by male-chauvinist rabbis who did not want women to have any sexual power. Actually, Ben Sira is a much later medieval work of questionable authorship. Ben Sira appears to be a satire or parody, possibly even an antisemitic one. It tells many stories about biblical characters envisioned in non-traditional, often unflattering ways, often with slapstick humor at the expense of traditional heroes. Frankly, to treat Ben Sira as a reflection of traditional Jewish thought is like treating Cervantes' Don Quixote as a treatise on chivalry, or Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles as a documentary of the American West. See this scholarly critique of the use of Ben Sira to turn Lilith into a feminist hero.

Links for Further Reading Project Genesis offers an online course on Women in Judaism , covering subjects such as equality between men and women in Judaism, faith, prayer, relationships, and feminine intuition. Kresel's Korner , written by an Orthodox woman, addresses many of the questions that people have about the role of women in Orthodoxy. Kresel is an intelligent, well-educated woman who responds to many feminist critiques of Orthodoxy and illustrates a very different kind of female empowerment. © Copyright 5756-5771 (1995-2011), Tracey R Rich If you appreciate the many years of work I have put into this site, show your appreciation by linking to this page, not copying it to your site. I can't correct my mistakes or add new material if it's on your site. Click Here for more details. Bar/Bat Mitzvah | Jewish Virtual Library Tweet BAR MITZVAH, BAT MITZVAH (Heb. masc. בַּר מִצְוָה, fem. בַּת מִצְוָה; lit.

"son/daughter of the commandment," i.e., a person under obligation, responsible), term denoting both the attainment of religious and legal maturity as well as the occasion at which this status is formally assumed for boys at the age of 13 plus one day, for girls at 12 plus one day (Maim. Yad, Ishut, 2:9–10). Upon reaching this age a Jew is obliged to fulfill all the *commandments (Avot 5:1; cf. Yoma 82a). Although the term occurs in the Talmud for one who is subject to the law ( BM 96a), its usage to denote the occasion of assuming religious and legal obligations does not appear before the 15th century (Sefer Ẓiyyoni of R. Menahem Ẓiyyoni to Gen. 1:5). A special celebration for a girl, the bat mitzvah, is not found mentioned before Ben Ish Ḥai, the legal code by Joseph Ḥayyim b. Elijah (19th cent.).

While the occasion of becoming bar/bat mitzvah was thus formalized only in later times, it is obvious from various sources that the status of obligation for boys of 13 was assumed in early times. According to Eleazar b. Simeon (second century C.E. ), a father was responsible for the deeds of his son until the age of 13. For example the vows of a boy 13 and a day old are considered valid vows (Nid. 5:6). From then on a person can perform acts having legal implications, such as being a member of a bet din, being reckoned as part of a minyan, and buying and selling property. Yet there are notable exceptions, e.g., the testimony of a 13-year-old is not valid regarding real estate because he is "not knowledgeable about buying and selling" (Maim. Yad, Edut, 9:8). Jewish law fixed 13 as the age of responsibility considering this the time of physical maturity for boys (and 12 for girls; Kid. 16b).

At this age young people are thought to be able to control their desires ( ARN 2 16, 62–63). Rashi claims that bar mitzvah as a status of obligation was "in the category of biblical laws, as it was given to Moses at Sinai" (comment. to Avot 5:1). Midrashic literature gives many references for 13 as the turning point in the life of a young person, e.g., Abraham rejected the idols of his father at this age ( P The term bat mitzvah occurs only once in the Talmud ( BK 15a), in reference to the time a girl becomes subject to the obligations of Jewish law incumbent on adults. While Avot 5:21 asserts that 13 is the age of adult responsibility, Niddah 5:6 rules that the vows of a girl who is 12 and one day are deemed valid, as are the vows of a boy who is 13 and one day. Similarly, after their respective 12th and 13th birthdays, girls and boys must fast on Yom Kippur (Yoma 85).

Talmudic discussion in Kiddushin 16b clarifies that a boy is of age when physical signs of adulthood appear after he is 13 plus one day. Maimonides (Yad, Ishut 2:9–10) completes the equation and specifies that a girl's signs of adulthood are those that appear only after her 12th birthday plus one day. Aside from assuming ritual obligations, adult responsibility meant that a young woman was no longer dependent on her father, mother, or brother in marital arrangements and could act on her own behalf. Prior to the modern era this change in a female's status was rarely celebrated in a communal context. It is not until the 19th century that indications of ceremony or public recognition come from Italy, Eastern and Western Europe, Egypt, and Baghdad. These acknowledgements of female religious adulthood include a private blessing, a father's aliyah to the Torah, a rabbi's sermon and/or a girl's public examination on Judaic matters. Bat mitzvah as a female ceremony equivalent or identical to the male bar mitzvah is not found until the middle of the 20th century and is an American innovation, discussed in more detail below.

ITALY The earliest source, from Verona on Passover 1844, refers to an iniziazione religiosa delle fanciulle and la maggiorita delle fanciulle. This reference to entrance "into minyan" was used for boys and girls. By the end of the century, this ritual had also spread to other cities such as Ancona, Bologna, and Rome. During this confirmation-like process the girl recited some biblical verses and a liturgical selection and a rabbi delivered a sermon. There was great debate in the 19th century Italian community as to whether this was a permitted rite. In Italy today a 12-year-old female is examined by a rabbi, usually on Shavuot or Purim, after which she reads special prayers in Hebrew and Italian in the synagogue; a celebratory party follows. Edda Servi Machlin describes her 1938 bat mitzvah experience in her cookbook, The Classic Cuisine of Italian Jews (1981), p. 69. EUROPE Some scholars have mentioned Rabbi Jacob *Ettlinger of Germany as favoring some form of puberty lifecycle event.

It is clear, however, in Ettlinger's Binyan Ẓiyyon 107 (1867), p. 145, that he opposed confirmation or any similar celebration. Rather, in accordance with Danish regulations, he gave some girls a public exam on the completion of their religious studies (limmudei kodesh) and then delivered a sermon. All this took place in the synagogue. Intriguing references to bat mitzvah celebrations in various European cities include a confirmation in Warsaw in 1843 and a party in Lvov in 1902. Rabbi Musafiya notes that bat mitzvah celebrations were held in France towards the end of the 19th century. Anecdotal references to bat mitzvah celebrations include that of Charlotte Salomon (1917–1943) in Berlin (see Mary Lowenthal Felstiner, To Paint Her Life (1997)). EGYPT Rabbi Elijah Hazzan held a synagogue celebration for benot mitzvah (pl.) girls who had completed studies in religion and Jewish history in 1907 in Alexandria.

BAGHDAD One significant early reference to a celebration for a girl is found in the book Ben Ish Ḥai by Rabbi *Joseph Ḥayyim b. Elijah of Iraq (1834–1909). In his discussion of parashat Re'eh, note 17, vol. 1, p. 132, Rabbi Ḥayyim posits that there is an equal sense of simḥah for boys and girls as they reach juridical responsibility; he recommends celebrating the girl's 12th birthday in some liturgical fashion. He declared that even though it was not the custom in his community (Baghdad) to make a se'udat mitzvah, nonetheless the event should be celebrated on that day and the girl should wear special (Sabbath) clothing. If at all possible, her father should buy her a new dress so that she could say the benediction sheheḥeyanu on the occasion of her bat mitzvah. ISRAEL In Israel it became customary to celebrate a girl's 12th birthday with a party.

It was called a bat mitzvah but there was rarely any liturgical or synagogue component. In the early 21st century, often all the girls in a class prepare for a group celebration after studying relevant material throughout the school year. Some synagogues and schools do enable a ritual format for girls while some families go to Rachel's tomb or other sacred sites for a party. Tourists and Israelis who desire a liturgical and Torah element for a girl's bat mitzvah may go to the Western Wall to pray with the Women of the Wall. NORTH AMERICA There are reports of various forms of bat mitzvah ceremonies in the American Midwest as early as 1907, but the best-known bat mitzvah ritual was created in 1922 by Rabbi Mordecai *Kaplan for his daughter Judith Kaplan *Eisenstein . Although innovative in concept and held in a synagogue, it was not identical to a contemporary bar mitzvah which would have included an aliyah and the ritual recitation of a haftarah. Rather, Judith Kaplan read a section selected by her father from a printed Ḥumash (Five Books of Moses).

The egalitarian bat mitzvah format, identical to a bar mitzvah, is not documented until 1940 and did not spread across North America until after the 1960s. The history of these ritual performances developed along denominational lines. Initially, the Reform movement was divided over any bat mitzvah rite as many congregations preferred a group confirmation ceremony for girls and boys at age 15 or 16. However, by the early 1960s, many North American Reform congregations offered prepared girls the option of bat mitzvah as well as confirmation. Although these early benot mitzvah generally read from the Torah scroll, their liturgical roles were often less than those of a bar mitzvah. Within the Conservative movement of the 1950s and 1960s there was debate as to where to place a ceremony for girls and what its content should be. During the 1970s and 1980s, the ritual celebration of bat mitzvah became ensconced within Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist congregations.

At the beginning of the 21st century, most benot mitzvah in the Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist movements perform the same liturgical roles as a bar mitzvah, including reading from the Torah scroll and recitation of a haftarah. For some the ceremony is held on Friday night; but for most it takes place during Sabbath morning services. By the 1970s many in Orthodox movements also sought ways to fit a bat mitzvah into the established order of worship in ways that were halakhically permissible. One option, established by Hebrew day schools in response to an Orthodox preference for home- or school-based rituals for girls, was a group bat mitzvah celebration. Another choice was to hold a ceremony in the synagogue at a time when no prayer services were taking place. An alternative possibility was to celebrate the bat mitzvah at a separate women's prayer service during which a non-liturgical reading from the Torah could occur.

Even in contemporary ḥasidic and ḥaredi communities some format for the recognition and celebration of a girl's initiation as an adult Jew now exists The major impact of bat mitzvah celebrations has been to increase the level of women's Jewish education and synagogue ritual participation. By the first decade of the 21st century adult bat mitzvah ceremonies had also become a common occurrence in synagogues of all denominations. LEGAL RESPONSA Rabbi Moses *Feinstein forbids the use of the sanctuary for an official bat mitzvah. He does allow a special birthday kiddush in the sanctuary, adding that the girl may say some appropriate words there after services; he also permits some form of public celebration in synagogue social halls or in the family home. Rabbi J.J. *Weinberg recommends a modest home-based celebration to strengthen the girl's education and attachment to Jewish traditions. A number of 20th century rabbinic decisors, including Rabbi Y.

*Nissim, (Noam 7:4), Rabbi Ovadiah *Yosef (Yabi'a Omer 6:29.4, Yehaveh Da'at 2:29, 3:10), and Rabbi Chanoch Grossberg (Ma'ayan, 13:42), assert that a se'udat mitsvah (obligatory festive meal) is held in honor of a girl's bat mitzvah on her birthday. Rabbi Abraham Musafiya, writing in the latter part of the 19th century (first printed in Noam 7 (5724, 1964) p. 4), claims that there is no difference between a boy and a girl in terms of the obligatory nature of the festive meal and that this festive meal is customarily held for boys and girls in France. RELATED BLESSING At the time of a bar mitzvah blessing a father traditionally says Barukh she-petarani me-onsho shel zeh, indicating that he has been released from responsibility for his son's acts. There is disagreement within Orthodox Judaism whether this blessing is also recited for a girl.

Some decisors claim that a father cannot say it on the occasion of a bat mitzvah since he is not obligated to teach his daughter Torah. Others claim that the girl's coming of age at 12 years requires the same parental blessing as that for a boy at thirteen years. Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef favorably quotes Rabbi A. Aburbia, who recommends saying the blessing without God's name (Yabi'a Omer OH [Norma Baumel Joseph (2nd ed.)] BIBLIOGRAPHY: L. Loew, Lebensalter (1875), 210–22, 410ff.; I. Rivkind, Le-Ot u-le-Zikkaron. Toledot Bar Mitzvah (1942), incl. bibl.; Assaf, Mekorot, 4 (1943), 108, 114, 127; Sadan (Stock), in: Dat u-Medinah (1949), 59ff.; ET , 4 (1952), 165–8; M.Z.

Levinsohn-Lavi, in: Sefer ha-Yovel shel Hadoar (1952), 42–46; C. Roth, in: A.I. Katsh (ed.), Bar Mitzvah (1955), 15–22; J. Nacht, in: Yeda-Am, 17–18 (1955), 106–11; Joseph Manspach, Minhag Bar Miẓvah, ed. by A.M. Habermann (1958); B. Yashar, Le-Vat Yisrael be-Hagiyah le-Mitzvot (1963); S.B. Freehot, Current Reform Responsa (1969), index. ADD. BIBLIOGRAPHY: BAT MITZVAH : J. Weissman Joselit, "Red-Letter Days," in: The Wonders of America: Reinventing Jewish Culture 1880–1950 (1994), 89–133; S. Barack Fishman, A Breath of Life (1993); C.

Koller-Fox, "Women and Jewish Education: A New Look at Bat Mitzvah," in: E. Koltun (ed.), The Jewish Woman: New Perspectives (1976), 31–42; A.S. Cohen, "Celebration of the Bat Mitzvah," in: The Journal of Halakhah and Contemporary Society, 12 (Fall 1986), 5–16; B. Sherwin, "Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah," in: B. Sherwin, In Partnership With God: Contemporary Jewish Law and Ethics (1990); P.E. Hyman, "The Introduction of Bat Mitzva in Conservative Judaism in Postwar America," in: YIVO Annual, 19 (1990), 133–46; idem, "Bat Mitzvah," in: Hyman and Moore (eds.), Jewish Women in America, (1998) pp. 126–128; Erica Brown, "The Bat Mitzvah in Jewish Law and Contemporary Practice," in: M. Halpern and Ch.

Safrai (eds.), Jewish Legal Writings by Women (1998), 228–54; L. Katz, "Halakhic Aspects of Bar-Mitzvah and Bat-Mitzvah," in: Journal of Jewish Music and Liturgy, 9 (1986), 22–30. I.G. Marcus, The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage from Biblical to Modern Times (2004) 105–23; R. Stein, "The Road to Bat Mitzvah in America," in: P. Nadell and J. Sarna, Women and American Judaism, (2001), 223–34; S. Friedland Ben Arza (ed.), Bat Mitzvah: Collected Writings and Reflections (Heb., 2002). O. Wiskind Elper, Traditions and Celebrations for the Bat Mitzvah (2003); N.

Joseph, "Ritual, Law, and Praxis: An American Response/a to Bat Mitsva Celebrations," in: Modern Judaism, 22:3 (Fall 2002); idem, "When Do I Get To Say Today I Am a Jew?" in: D. Orenstein (ed.), Lifecycles, vol. 1 (1994), 92–93; M. Meyer, Response to Modernity: A History of the Reform Movement in Judaism (1988). A. Reiner, "The Attitude Towards Bat-Mitzvah Ceremonies – A Comparative Study of Contemporary Responsa," in: Netuim, 10 (2003), pp. 55–77. Source: Encyclopaedia Judaica . © 2008 The Gale Group. All Rights Reserved.

Question: In Judaism, loosely and originally what is a mitzvah?
Answer: Commandment