The Inbetweeners 2 (2014) Author: LydiaOLydia from Cambridge, UK The inbetweeners series used to be about tightly scripted "off the cuff" clever banter and a pretty good sense of chemistry between the boys. the first movie was a bit looser but fit the bill as a 'vacation' away from the school environment and the plot was at least passable as light fare. even well before the time a piece of Neil's poo slides down a water-slide and hits will in the face, it's clear that the inbetweeners are utterly finished and this is the cast members trying to stretch one more pay day out of a low budget, presumably after the failure of their follow-up series 'chickens.' If you're a fan of the inbetweeners and want to keep cherished memories of them going forward, for the love of god stay away from this film. it's if Monty python made 'the love guru.' avoid at all costs. 2 stars not one simply because 1 is truly bottom of the barrel, but this may be the worst movie of 2014. Was the above review useful to you?

Audience Reviews for The Inbetweeners Movie 2 ½ Pointless sequel to a movie test should have been left alone. Loved the series, but these movies aren't so great. Nicki Marie Super Reviewer I've spoken on many occasions about how screenwriters or novelists don't always make the best directors. As much as we bemoan a director's vision for a given film not gelling with that of the writer, when writers get behind a camera they often fail to grasp the difference between cinematic and literary storytelling. This is true of the cult classic Westworld, the would-be cult classic Sir Henry at Rawlinson End, and the coming-of-age drama The Perks of Being A Wallflower. The Inbetweeners 2 sees Damon Beesley and Iain Morris, the creators of the TV series, stepping behind the camera for a film which bids farewell to the famous foursome. Just as the first film was an exception to the rule that all films based on British comedies are terrible, so this film is an exception to the rule that writers can't direct. While some of the comedy still doesn't belong, it is both an improvement on the first film and a fitting way to say goodbye.

The first big success of The Inbetweeners 2 is that it actually looks and feels like a film. This may seem an obvious point, but it's one that you can very rarely say about British comedy adaptations, both in the past and in recent times. While the production values of The Inbetweeners Movie were pretty decent, it still looked and felt like an extended TV episode. This is all-round more cinematic, with better compositions, a wider choice of angles and a glossier feel. The explanation for this is not straightforward. Had Beesley and Morris jettisonned all the old crew upon taking the helm, it would be easy to put this transition down solely to their creative talents. But the film is shot by the same person as before (Ben Wheeler), edited by the same person (William Webb) and produced by the same person (Christopher Young, for Film4). Most if not all of the production team have done the bulk of their work in television rather than feature films. The true explanation lies in a combination of creative freedom and an understanding of direction in terms of purpose.

Directing a film is not just about making sure that all the constituent parts fit together in a workable order: it is about communicating a story, theme or idea with a clear and preferably unique voice. Not only do Beesley and Morris have more freedom following the success of the first film, but they have a clear idea of where they want to go, regardless of audience expectations. The second big plus of The Inbetweeners 2 is that it adds depth and humanity to the characters. This is also one of the characteristics which makes it feel more cinematic: we actually see the characters grow in a meaningful way (well, meaningful enough) over a long period of time. This is something that can be done on both film and TV but in different ways; while TV episodes can space out and break up character development, on film it has to be much more seamless, as it is here. The difference between this film and its predecessor is a dominance of character over situation. The Inbetweeners Movie was essentially a genre exercise: it dropped these characters into overly familiar surroundings and sat back to see what would happen.

This film may share some familiar characteristics of episodes, particularly in the Splash Mountain scenes, but this time the characters drive any given situation and the progression from one scene to the next feels a lot more natural. Most of the boys have an emotional arc which we can follow through the film and which makes them more rounded and believable. Will's relationship with Katie sees him disown his friends, only to realise the emptiness of both his prep-school friendship with her and the lifestyle that she and Ben have chosen to inhabit. His tirades around the camp fires are right on the money, puncturing both the pretentiousness of spiritual tourism and the egos of the people who take part in it. Simon's relationshipwith Lucy (who has become a complete yandere) sees him finally stick up for himself when it comes to relationships; even if it's resolved in a rather convenient manner, he at least goes through the process of deciding who he values and why. Jay, arguably the least likeable character at face value, is developed the most when we discover his capacity for both remorse and genuine love. His insecurity and regret regarding Jane is very welcome and it prevents the film from repeating itself.

The only one short-changed in this department is Neil; while arguably he's already happier than all the other boys, he's ultimately reduced to out-of-context comic relief. The third big plus of The Inbetweeners 2 is that it is funnier than its predecessor. It's still every bit a gross-out comedy which treads the fine line between edgy and offensive, but there's much less of a reliance on set-pieces, and what set-pieces there are are much more memorable. With the log flume incident, it's as though Beesley and Morris saw Caddyshack, got to the infamous pool scene, and thought: "how can we make this even funnier?". Many of the funniest moments in the film will simultaneously make you howl with laughter and grimace in disgust. The scene involving Neil in the pub with the dog may feature unconvincing prostethics, but for the brief glance we get (which is all we'll ever need), it does its job. The same goes for Will's falsetto singging around the camp fire, the aforementioned log flume incident, and Simon getting urinated on by Neil in the Outback.

While these scenes are funny, however some of the more sexual jokes are completely unnecessary. The scene where Simon is accused of being a paedophile is really uncomfortable; it's not attempting to say anything clever or expose any kind of absurd attitude, it's just plain gruesome and should have been cut. The same goes for the various mentions of rape which pop up over the running time. While the film holds back from out-and-out using sexual violence as a punchline, it seems content to use the word as a cheap laugh when it should be anything but. There are other moments of the film which on deeper reflection don't make a lot of sense. The scene with the four boys holding hands in the Outback as they die of thirst is very touching, being somewhere between the existential loneliness of Walkabout and the incinerator sequence in Toy Story 3. But then you notice that the boys are avoiding their only source of shade, and leaning against a car which is roasting hot. It doesn't throw the film completely off-balance, but it's a niggle that lingers afterwards. The Inbetweeners 2 is an improvement on its predecessor which merits its existence as a means of deepening the characters.

Beesley and Morris both write and direct well, with better jokes (by and large) and a greater focus on the characters rather than the situations in which they find themselves. Just like its predecessor, it's not without its problems, but if this is the last we see of Simon, Will, Neil and Jay, then it's a fitting way to finish. Daniel Mumby Hilarious Inbetweeners Quotes by Jay, Simon, Will and Neil Hilarious Inbetweeners Quotes by Jay, Simon, Will and Neil Facebook The Inbetweeners on the Pussay Patrol! It all began back in 2008, when the first series was shown on E4. Damon Beesley and Iain Morris were the two geniuses who created and wrote the TV program. In total 3 series were made, each consisting of 6 episodes. Peak viewing figures came as the program reached it’s conclusion with the last 2 episodes both receiving just over 3.7million viewers. In the summer of 2011 The Inbetweeners Movie hit cinemas. It carried on very much in the style of the TV series and sticking the winning recipe paid off, the film was awesome!

They followed it up with a second hilarious movie set in Australia, in the summer of 2014, it was a smash hit grossing over £12million it is first weekend, which was the largest opening of any film in 2014. Let’s relive some hilarious moments with some of the funniest lines and awesome Inbetweeners quotes from all the main characters. They are taken from all 3 series and both movies. Quotes by Simon This is a mans drink, if you don’t want it I’ll have it, and if you can’t take me like this well I’m sorry babes, but this is the package. Im gonna fuck your fucking fanny off you twat. (talking dirty) Do it, get big, get big. (whacking his wang) Football friend! Ive had 210 wanks and my cocks like a Peperami. Quotes and one-liners by Jay Alright benders, you missed me then. If there’s grass on the pich, play ball. He shoot’s, he scores, right up the vag. I’m off to find the clunge. There’s a whole world of pussy out there.

The gash isn’t going to fuck itself you know. Bus wankers! Morning benders, jump in the minge mobile. A cow, it charged at me. So had to knock it out, one punch. Im off for a quick tug. Wait for the gash to form an orderly queue. Im just really good at shagging now, thats all Im saying. To the pussay! She’d definitely get it, right up the bumhole. Nahhh I’m not allowed [to revise], teachers say cuz I’ve got a photographic memory it wouldn’t be fair on the other kids. Wear your wellies Neil. Because you’ll be knee deep in Grammar school clunge. Oh, I’m gonna have to go, got a missed call from Ralph Lauren. How’s count spakular [Will] being getting on? Simons got a boner! I can’t believe you lost the muff wagon. They’re only daffodils, fucking little show-offs. Look at me, I’m out first, I’m all yellow. This girls so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny. Quotes by Will Will – Old skool wedgie, squashing the balls now.

Oh it was going quite well then she realised I’m a massive dickhead and pulled some other bloke. I thought it was a fart sir, I thought it was safe. I have never put my penis in a lady. Feisty one you are. You bumder! (to Neil’s dad) Quotes by Neil I don’t think I’ve ever been on the internet without having a wank. More special then them twins that only wanted anal? Ive never loved anything before, apart from a car or a sandwich. Yeah go on, muff before mates. Can one of you’s help me I think she might be a two man job. I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog spelt backwards. How much lego can you stuff up your bum? Oooh friend. Other Characters Quotes Gilbert – Piss off and let me get this final piece of hell over with! Gilbert – Well McKenzie, you see in my role as a non virgin I’ve got better things to be doing with my time. Jay’s dad – So you bank with the pig? (asking Jay if he’s had sex with Chloe) Jay’s dad – Women are like fairground rides, fucking mental!

Simon’s dad – I think me and your mum noshed one up in the shed once. If you are a fellow lover of the program and still find it hilarious you can buy the DVDs, some of them are quite cheap if you buy them used. Before you move on to somewhere else, how about one quick hilarious clip? All images are unique screendumps from a variety of episodes. All content copyright of respective owners. Rate this comedy Jay Cartwright | The Inbetweeners Wiki | Fandom powered by Wikia Edit Chloe: Chloe was presumably Jay's first love. After getting with her, Jay starts to act less vulgar, even around his friends and his dad. The relationship was damaged due to Jay's father telling him to keep tabs on her to make sure she wasn't cheating on him. Jay begins to send her messages constantly, which overwhelms Chloe to the point she realises Jay is too needy. Mr. Gilbert also notes "she can't be too keen" when he confiscates Jay's phone, he points out the phone "didn't buzz once". Chloe ultimately breaks up with Jay at the pub. After Chloe dumps Jay, he breaks down and reverts to his compulsive lying self to cope with grief.

In series three, Will brings her up and Jay winces, hinting that he still hadn't gotten over her yet. Jane: Originally, Jay was put off by Jane's weight, but after a while, he begins to see her in a different light. When the boys and girls go out skinny-dipping, two men make fun of Jane's weight. Jay, having just been threatened by James earlier, wimps out. This upsets Jane, giving him the cold shoulder, but soon forgives him. After Jay and Jane officially become a couple, Jay shows a more chivalrous side, chastising Neil for mentioning her size and swiping Simon's hospital pillow for her to sit on. Jay and Jane at the end of the first Inbetweeners Movie In the second film, it revealed that Jane dumped him, despite Jay stating that he no longer thought about her during his text to Neil. Jay begins a gap year to Australia so he can find Jane and get her back. He mentions this to Simon at the camp-fire. The next day, Jay begins his search at Splash Planet where he is told by a employee of Splash Planet that Jane is no longer working in the water park and now works in a farm in the Outback.

After getting the address from Lucy; Jay, Simon and Neil search for Jane and are later joined by Will soon after. After getting stranded in the Outback, Jay is rescued by Jane and her boss. Jay apologises about getting her a Wii-Fit and attempts to get her back and asks her to marry him, despite her being pleased and honoured by his effort of finding her, she does not take him back. Family Terry Cartwright (Father): Terry Cartwright Jay fears his dad, who in turn, constantly insults, contradicts and undermines his son, any of Jay's attempts to stand up for himself is discarded as a womanly fit and ignored. Terry either doesn't know or doesn't care how damaging he is for his son, he seems merciless when it comes to insulting Jay and is probably why Jay acts the way he does, Jay, although afraid of him, seems desperate to earn some form of approval from his dad. Mrs Cartwright (Mother): Having walked in on Jay masturbating on more than one occasion, she is not phased by Jay's behaviour. Also she is shown to stick up for him against his Dad's bullying. Benji the Dog: It is revealed in series 3 episode 5 that Jay has a dog named Benji.

Jay appears to find Benji a source of frustration as he often interrupts him while masturbating. Although it is revealed that Jay has deep feelings for Benji by showing extreme upset when he was put down and demanding he could be the dog while playing monopoly in order to remind himself of him. Jay's Sister Jay's younger sister made brief appearances at the beginning of the first movie, but her personality is unknown. Uncle Bryan : Bryan is Jay's Uncle who resides in Australia. He appears in the second film, where Jay spends a year living with him. Bryan's personality is similar to Jay's Dad's. It is shown as he mocks Jay's tiny penis and reveals to Neil that all the things that Jay has texted to him was a complete lie. However Bryan has been shown to stick up for Jay when he told Terry he presumed that he taught Jay how to fight like a girl which causes Terry and Bryan to brawl it out. Michelle (Cousin) : Neil mentions that he fingered Jay's cousin; Michelle. Character History Edit In the feature film, Jay's grandfather passes away leaving him a large inheritance and a shit load of coke and weed.

Jay decides to spend his new found wealth on a 'mental lads holiday' for him and his three friends: Neil, Simon, Will (it is stated in the film that everyone's parents pitched money in as well). The holiday gets off to a bad start when the boys discover that Neil has booked them into a 1 star hotel. Jay, however, is still optimistic and later that night sets off to find some ' holiday clunge'. Jay is pleasantly surprised when an attractive woman starts flirting with him and tells him to wait for her at a bar. In the bar four girls walk in and Jay begins talking to a girl, whose name is Jane . The pair have some kind of connection, but Jay is put off by Jane 's weight and the fact that there is a "better" looking girl outside. It turns out, however, that the attractive girl only flirted with Jay so he would go to the bar. Feeling rejected, Jay goes off alone for the night. The other boys find him the next morning, passed out in an ant's nest. Jay goes with the other boys to another hotel where the four girls are staying, although Jay has no intention of meeting with Jane .

Instead he tries to show off to some girls at the poolside, but is publicly humiliated when a child pushes him into the pool and then pulls down his shorts, and makes fun of the "so little" size. After this humiliation, Jay throws the child into the pool, nearly drowning him. He gets the boys thrown out of the hotel, and Simon does not get to purchase his Party Boat tickets. Jay gets frustrated over Simon's obsession with Carli and the two have a fight of sorts in the street. Jay storms off after this, taking Neil with him. Jay becomes determined to have a better time than Simon, so he and Neil head to a bar to pick up some girls; however they have accidentally made their way into a "decadent" exotic bar. They are mocked for this by obnoxious holiday rep James, who aggressively threatens Jay. Jay leaves in tears and he and Neil head back to the bar were they first met the four girls. They find Simon and Will there and Jay uncharacteristically apologises to Simon. They then meet the girls again, and Jay realizes how much he likes Jane . The groups decide to indulge in some skinny dipping.

Jay and Jane are about to kiss when Jay notices people laughing at Jane , and all the while Jay does nothing to come to her defence. Jane realizes Jay is embarrassed to be with her and storms off, leaving Jay confused and upset. The boys decide to spend the night drinking away their sorrows, and back at the hotel Jay gets quite upset when he learns Will and Simon are going to university when they get back home. Jay also reveals to Simon that he bought tickets to the boat party the previous night, but he had torn them up in a fit of rage after his fight with Simon. The friends go to find their own individual girls at the boat party. Jay apologises to Jane for his behaviour; she gives him a blowjob in the ship's toilets for his apology, leaving Jay stunned because this is the first sexual experience he has encountered. The pair bump into James, who makes fun of Jane 's weight, but Jay gets revenge by giving a him euro bill to snort coke with that has spent some time in Jay's ass crack. Jay spends the rest of the holiday enjoying himself with Jane , before returning home ready to start the next part of his life. Second Film Jane has broken up with Jay since the events of the first film.

Like Will, Simon and Neil, he has gone his separate way. While Will and Simon went to study at university and Neil began work; Jay decided to take a gap year to go travelling. 6-7 months later he sends a text to Neil revealing he is now in Australia and claiming he has had a very successful DJ career in a night club, lives in a luxurious mansion with many attractive women living there, that regularly have oral and vaginal sex with him. As usual, only Neil believes his strong claims and is first to suggest going to visit him for the holidays. Will and Simon, due to them not enjoying their lives at university, agree to go to Australia for their Easter vacation (hoping Jay's strong claims were true for once). When they arrive they discover that Jay does work in a night club, but is only the toilet attendant and is fired by his boss when he pretends to own the club. Will, Simon and Neil also discover that he has really been living in a tent, outside of his Uncle Bryan's house. Jay's uncle is very abusive towards Jay and humiliates him in front of Will, Simon and Neil when they first arrive.

Jay begins to insist that they should go to a water park called "Splash Planet", which provokes Will to suggest that they should go camp at the youth hostel in Byron Bay as it is close to the water park, which they all agree to. Simon also asks Jay if he could use his computer to break up with Lucy via Skype. When Simon logs on, he sees a photo of Jane wearing a "Splash Planet" uniform on Jay's computer. The next morning, they travel in Jay's car to Byron Bay by following the campers coach. Jay drives disturbingly close to the tour bus and due to it's sexual decoration, it disturbs Katie and the other travellers. When they arrive at the youth hostel, to the delight of Jay, Katie invites the group to come to Splash Planet the next day. When they arrive, Simon agrees to go round with Jay to help him find Jane (as Jay admitted to Simon that he came to Australia to find Jane the previous night at the camp fire), while Will goes off with Katie and her friends and Neil goes to visit the dolphins. Simon and Jay find a children's ride, which went round the whole park, Jay believes this ride will easily help him find Jane.

However, before entering the ride, Jay makes Simon seem like a paedophile by claiming to a member of staff that he was one when Simon insisted that he "loves children" and pushing him onto a little boy. While Simon is attacked by the little boy's father, Jay runs off and continues his search for Jane. Jay finds a member of staff and asks where Jane is, she reveals that Jane quit her job at the water park months ago and that she moved to the outback, she also claims that Jay will "never find her". Jay, extremely upset and distressed by this, leaves the park. When the park was closed down after the incident with the dolphin and the water slide, Will, Simon and Neil find Jay in the car park, extremely depressed. Jay admits to Will and Neil that he only took a gap year and came to Australia to find Jane, he also reveals that he got Jane a Wii-fit, which resulted in Jane becoming offended (due to her being overweight) and therefore, she broke up with him. Simon, touched by Jay's claims reveals that due to him and Lucy becoming engaged, she asked Jane to become one of her bridesmaids at their wedding and she would therefore know where Jane is.

Lucy tells Simon via Skype that Jane is working on a stud farm in the remote settlement of Birdsville. Simon and Neil agree to go with Jay, but Will, angry by discovering why Jay was even in Australia in the first place and by the fact that Jay couldn't accept that he had been dumped just like how he and Neil had been, decides to stay with Katie. Will also decides not to help Jay because he knows Jay would never do the same for him and due to the fact that Jay never treated him like a real friend. Simon, Jay and Neil all leave angry and offended, but at the same time upset over Will breaking up with them. While driving through the Birdsville desert searching every farm for Jane, Will finds them and apologises to them for what he had said back at Byron Bay. They all reconcile and continue the search for Jane. Mid-way down the desert, Jay's car runs out of fuel and they all become stranded in the desert without any water. All of them become very dehydrated and believe they will eventually die. Jay and Will then develop a full friendship and make amends for everything they ever did and said to each other. All four of them hold hands and close their eyes believing they are soon to be dead.

Moments later, Jane and her co-workers find them and reveal that they had only been stranded for two hours. Jay apologises to Jane for buying her a Wii-fit and begs her to get back together with him. Jane is touched by how far Jay came to find her, although she is touched by this gesture, she does not take him back. After being rescued, they are all taken back to Bryan's house. Jay finally shows some backbone by slapping his uncle when he makes fun of Jane's weight, instigating in a fight between his uncle and father. Jay agrees to spend the rest of his Easter holiday with Will, Simon and Neil in Vietnam. In the credits scenes Jay is having an enjoyable experience in Vietnam with the others. When he returns to Britain, he is welcomed by his father, albeit makes fun of him due to his new hairstyle that he acquired during his holiday in Vietnam.

Gallery Inbetweeners 2: Will, Simon, Neil and Jay get filthy in Australia | Films | Entertainment | Daily Express 09:47, Mon, Aug 11, 2014 Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, James Buckley and Blake Harrison attends the World Premiere [GETTY] The Inbetweeners Movie had the biggest ever opening weekend for a comedy film in the UK, proving that it wasn't just teenage boys who had taken its four hapless stars, their nightmarish humiliations and obscene banter, to their hearts. As The Inbetweeners 2 opened this week, all the signs are pointing towards an even bigger hit. It broke all records for an opening day, taking £2.75m at the box office, and is also garnering far better reviews. The voice of reason in The Inbetweeners is geeky Will, rudely plucked from private school following his parents' divorce, and sent to Rudge Park Comprehensive where he acquires the nickname "Briefcase w****r". He falls in with an equally pathetic gang; Simon, obsessively lusting after classmate Carly, compulsive liar Jay and the fabulously gormless Neil. It's basically the best job in the world.

I've had fun on every project I've done but this is so different. This is more like family Simon Bird Launched on E4 in 2008, The Inbetweeners picked up traction over the course of three series and its catchphrases (bumder, fwends and an inventive menu of words for lady-parts) became common currency way beyond its original teen fanbase. Writers Damon Beesley and Iain Morris insisted the 2011 movie was a one-off, as did stars Simon Bird (Will), Joe Thomas (Simon), James Buckley (Jay) and Blake Harrison (Neil), but who can blame them for changing their minds? In the second film, Jay has moved to Australia to stay with an uncle and, when he emails his friends with tall tales of living in a mansion and having rampant sex with countless stunning women, he catches them at a low ebb. Will is appalled to find that university life is no more fulfilling than school was. Simon is suffering relationship problems. Neil just misses his mates. So the trio jet off for an adventure Down Under. On meeting the four boys to chat about the film, it's clear that in the best possible way, there is some overlap between them and their characters.

Although Simon is quieter and far more likeable than supercilious Will, he's similarly dry and amusingly sarcastic. Joe is chatty and obliging and clearly much more mature than James. Blake is, disappointingly, more intelligent than Neil but also shares his earnest streak. On the other hand, Joe, James and Blake don't openly lust after Simon's mum and Simon, Joe and James don't insist that Blake's dad is gay. In essence, they have all the camaraderie of the Inbetweeners without the schadenfreude. Greg Davies attends the World Premiere of 'The Inbetweeners 2' [GETTY] The boys will not reveal much about the film, not wanting to spoil it for fans but the shoot sounds hellish. They were filming in the Australian Outback in 48 degree heat. Some scenes were shot in a water park but only while it was closed so they were picked up from their hotels at 2am to start shooting at 4am. The heat meant that flies swarmed around their faces at all times. However they insist they were unfazed. Simon: "It's basically the best job in the world. I've had fun on every project I've done but this is so different.

This is more like family." Joe: "It's about where it came in our careers. It was the first show we'd been in." James: "But also we share a very similar sense of humour so, when you bring all of us together, it's an overload of mucking about." Simon: "The sense of mischief that pervades the Inbetweeners set doesn't wash on other sets." Joe: "We really feel annoyed if we're told to buckle down on the eighth or ninth chance" Simon: "We get quite p****d off. 'How <dare> you?'" Joe: "On some sets, you're literally expected to turn up and know your lines and not mess around." James: "We'd gone away and done other stuff and as great as the other things <I've> done are, they're a bit boring.

It's the work ethic." Simon: "I do think it contributes to the success of the show [starts laughing] Maybe it doesn't!" James: "Whenever they do say, Come on, guys, knuckle down, stop mucking about,' we go [angrily]: No, no, not at all, we <need> this energy, this is what we <bring>, let us do our thing, we don't tell you how to point a camera'." James: "Like Simon said, we are a family, and we treat each other like that so" Joe: "There are no niceties. We get genuinely upset with reach other, like, [tearfully]: "I can't believe he just said that to me. It's so unfair and so selfish." Blake: "But you can't maintain a grudge with someone for more than 20 minutes because you're in each other's pockets six days a week, 13 hours a day. I've punched James on a few occasions. [aggrieved] He farts just before they say action!

The camera will be on me and you're in the car and you hear, "OK" [blows raspberry] "Action!" You're like, "<James>, I've got to do my scene!" And you give him a dead leg." Belinda Stewart-Wilson – who plays Will's mum in the series and subsequent movies –on the red carpet [GETTY] James: "My favourite one was when we were round a table with some beers and there was a bit spilled and Blake went off to get a J-cloth." Blake: "I was being really conscientious. We were running behind, it's not my job but I'm going to clear it up, do my bit for the team" James: "I waited for him to clear it up and I watched him and I was holding my beer over the table and [mimes pouring] and he said, "What a f****** moron." He was so angry. And I had an argument with Simon on set once.

I don't ever learn my lines and the way I work is?" Joe: [mimicking] "The way I work'" Simon: "The way you <don't> work!" Joe: "I think it's the Stanislavski method of working" James: "I have signs printed in the morning and I learn them just before we do it because I forget them otherwise. If I learn them the night before, I forget them." Joe: "He's never tested that theory of trying to learn them the night before. That has never happened." James: "To be fair, we were out in the Outback, whoever's job it was couldn't print me my lines so everyone was getting really stressed. And I heard Simon Bird saying something and I shouted [laughing] 'It's terrible! It's not my fault! Have a go at whoever's job it is to print the signs! It's not my job to print to signs!'." Joe: "People were going off in sulks but they were just walking into the Outback then realising they'd better not go too far.

'I'd better go back because I'll die'." Blake: "Sometimes you're having an argument and the other two are exacerbating it. Did you hear what James said? If I were you, I wouldn't have that but it's down to you!'." Blake: "And the person who's just made you really angry, five minutes later, they'll probably make you laugh really hard." James: "We never take anything personally. Because we're so close." Simon: "No one really wants to get that personal, we're not seeking to hurt each other." Blake: "The writers set up the atmosphere on set from day one: if it's funny, it's OK." Related articles Inbetweeners sequel sets new British cinema record As far as the boys' relationship with the writers goes, James describes them as "a gang of six", but it must have been like herding cats on set. To make matters worse, on The Inbetweeners 2, writers Beesley and Morris were also directing for the first time. Simon: "That was fun for us because they didn't really know what they were doing." James: "The running joke was that they won a competition.

We'd say, 'You can say Action!' in a minute!'." James: "I'd go up to Iain and say, I can get all the other boys to come and have a picture with you'." Joe: "'As a reminder of your day! Something to take home.' I think we probably should have been a bit more mature about the whole thing." James: "No way." Behind the scenes, thankfully, all four boys are far more mature and settled than the Inbetweeners. Simon, 29, is married to his university girlfriend Lisa Owens. James, 26, has two children with model Clair Meek. Blake, 29, has a baby with theatre publicist Kerry Ann Lynch and Joe, 30, lives with Hannah Tointon who briefly played his girlfriend Tara on The Inbetweeners. Could The Inbetweeners 3 show the boys coping with the challenges of relationships and even parenthood? They unanimously insist there will never be another film. They said that before, though, didn't they? Most read in Films The Inbetweeners Movie 2: watch the first teaser trailer 2:08 PM, 09 May 2014 The Inbetweeners are back.

In a first (and frustratingly short) glimpse at the upcoming Inbetweeners movie sequel, Jay, Will, Simon and Neil are Down Under. And they are up to their old tricks. We actually get to see very little of the rude and crude foursome in the minute-long clip - it's mainly made up of Aborigines around a bonfire - but those last few seconds give us a fairly accurate feel for what the gang will be getting up to while they backpack around Oz. Just wait for their Australian take on this classic Inbetweeners quote... The Inbetweeners Movie 2 stars Simon Bird, Joe Thomas, Blake Harrison and James Buckley. The film will be in UK cinemas 6 August. The Inbetweeners - Wikiquote The Inbetweeners Jump to: navigation , search The Inbetweeners is an award-winning comedy series airing on the British TV channel E4 . It is based on the lives of four teenage boys in their last years of school. Contents The First Day [1.1][ edit ] Boy: You're gonna die here, Will. Will: ...OK. Boy: That briefcase makes me wanna punch you. Will: 'Course it does. Boy: Briefcase wanker!

Mr Gilbert: As you can tell from his rather natty badge, this is your new classmate Will. As you'll be sharing most of the same classes - Cooper, you'll be looking after him. Simon Cooper: Sir, that's not fair! Mr Gilbert: Rule one of the Sixth Form: Life is not fair. Simon: But Sir, look at his blazer for starters! He's got an actual briefcase! His shoes are clumpy, his hair's a bit gay and that badge! I mean, the badge alone. Will: I went for what turned out to be one of the more eventful shits of my life. Simon: (referring to Carli) I've lusted her since I was eight. Neil: You fancy eight year olds? Simon: No, Neil. Our families are friends. We were both eight. Neil: So? You still fancied an eight year old. Will: Anyone can be your friend. All you have to do is hang round them long enough. Bartender: You got proof of age? Will: You have my word. Simon: (sarcastically to Jay) Yeah, that's it.

I've had 210 wanks and my cock's like a pepperami. (Will's mum drives up to the school gates) Will: Oh, no... Simon: (surprised) Is that your mum? Will: I told her not to come and pick me up. Neil: She's fit. Will: (hesitates) Well, thanks very much. Jay: Well wouldn't you? Will: Well, considering she's my mother...no?! Jay: Yeah, but what if she wasn't? Will: Well she is, so still no. Simon: Yeah, but what he's saying is, if she wasn't your mum...would you fuck her? Will: (sarcastically) Oh, are we still doing this? Jay: Look, all I wanna know is whether you'd get down between her knees, spread them, and... Will: (cutting him off angrily) Can we please stop talking about my mother's VAGINA?! Jay: Get the beers in and let the gash form an orderly queue.

Will: (to Simon) Sorry, did he actually just say "the gash?" Bunk Off [1.2][ edit ] Will:(entering a wine shop, dressed in Mr Cooper's suit) Good day! Shopkeeper:(looking up)...Sorry? Shopkeeper: Oh...hello. Shopkeeper:(to Will) Can I help? Will:(with several bags of crisps, to Shopkeeper)Er, yes. I am...a man. Who has recently bought a house in the local area, and I'm having a house-warming party...to which I'll be inviting a lot of the local adults...(counting the Pringles cans in his hands absent-mindedly)...to...Hence the crisps. (he dumps them onto the counter) Will: And I'll also probably need some...(swallows nervously)...al-co-hol, as well as the crisps, et cetera. Shopkeeper: Right. What sort of thing are you looking for? Will: Some...(eyes a bottle of gin on the shelf)...Beefeater Gin? Shopkeeper: OK. How about two bottles? Will: (posh) Excellent. Will: Christ no, I'm not made of money!

And I'll have some...Extra-Strong Mints. (the shopkeeper looks at him wearily) Will: For those who are drink-driving. Shopkeeper: Right...comes to £29.50. Anything else? Will: What's on Special? Shopkeeper:(suddenly fierce) I'll give you a bottle of Drambuie for a tenner if you pay and are out the shop in 5 seconds. Will:...Done. Thank you, my good man...I shall invite you to the party. Will:(coming out of the newsagents, laden with bags) Mission accomplished! Jay: What's in all the bags then? Will: Just something to soak up the alcohol. (Jay takes a bag and opens it) Jay: Crisps?! Jay: I've just seen the clunge head towards Nemesis. Will: Well sounds like they are thrill seekers too. Jay: I hope they are cock seekers too! Jay: (to Simon, about a group of girls in a car up ahead) Si, we're losing them! Will: You make it sound as if we're about to attack them.

(Will, Neil, Jay and Simon have been queueing for the front seats on Nemesis Inferno, but only one front seat is left) Ride Attendant: Room for one more at the front. Will: Sorry? Ride Attendant: One more. At the front. Will: How can there possibly be room for only one more at the front? Ride Attendant: Well there's three people on the front, so there's a spare seat there- Will: Let's just rewind a bit, shall we? Why are there now three people at the front? Ride Attendant: Sir, if you could just get on- Will: (getting more and more angry) They've pushed in! We've been queueing for over an hour specifically for the front, and they've pushed in? Ride Attendant: Sir- Will: Get them off! Get them off and make them move! Fucking pushing in! Simon: (Aware of the scene now being created) Will, it doesn't matter. We'll sit at the back. Ride Attendant: Sir, if you could just- Will: Are they so dumb they think it's OK to push in? Make them move!

Jay: Shut up, you plum, and get on the ride. Ride Attendant: Sir, it's the last ride of the day, please get on. Simon: Will, honestly, it doesn't matter, just get on. Will: Fine, fucking fine! I'll just...I'll just get on. I'll just get on, and sit at the front (he sits at the front and straps himself in) next to these inconsiderate arseholes. (He looks across to give the "inconsiderate arseholes" a dirty look, but his face falls as he realises that the other three people are two young men with Down Syndrome and their minder) Will: I'm the worst human being in the world. (Will has been unable to enjoy the Nemesis Inferno due to his guilt at insulting the two young men with Down Syndrome) Will v/o: When I look back on my life, I'm pretty sure that ride will be a low point. But with a bit of luck, the others wouldn't find out who I'd insulted... (The three people at the front get off and walk past Simon, Jay and Neil) Simon: They were on the front?

Oh no, Will, no..." Jay: (laughing) Oh my god. Simon: Oh Will. Jay: Fuck the book with us, Simon! Caravan Club [1.5][ edit ] Jay: It's a sense of freedom you don't get with other holidays. Will: It's a sense of shitting in a bucket in a cupboard you don't get with other holidays... in England... with your parents! Jay: (about Becky) That one has fucked EVERYONE. I've slung one up her a few times, myself. Will: And who is everyone, exactly? That old man over there, has he had a go on her? Jay: Take a look around, there's loads of girls here! Over there! (points to a girl on a seesaw) Simon: She looks about 12, Jay. Jay: Nah, she's older than that...believe me. Simon: What should I text back? Jay: "Spread 'em. I'll be there in thirty minutes." Will: Or, "it was lovely to hear from you, I look forward to meeting up with you." Jay: "P.S. I'm a poofter." Simon: Its YOUR spunk!!

Neil: But it's YOUR car! Simon: What...so if I spunked in your face it would be yours? Xmas Party [1.6][ edit ] Jay: Can you suck me off? Neil: Oh go on I love boats, I used to go fishing with my dad. Jay: Fisting? Neil: FISHING! Will McKenzie: [a fish has jumped into the boat] Jesus Christ! How the hell has that happened? Neil Sutherland: I dunno, it didn't have any bait on it. Jay Cartwright: Get it out! Neil Sutherland: It's just a fish. Will McKenzie: It's a fucking terrifying massive fish! Get rid of it Neil! Will McKenzie: [after Jay has let off the emergency flare] Why the fuck did you do that? Jay Cartwright: To get the sea police out! Will McKenzie: And say what?! "Help, we've caught a fish?"? We're already in the harbour, What are they gonna do - tow us four feet closer to the shore?

Neil Sutherland: Better kill it, It's the kindest thing to do; it won't survive back in the sea now [punches the fish repeatedly, to a bloody pulp] Will McKenzie: Well, that was a much more dignified end for it (!) Will McKenzie:: Fuck off you beady eyed little shits! Work Experience [2.2][ edit ] Jay: (reading card) "Jay, you massive stud. I've just packed a finger pie. Why don't you 'cum', spelt C-U-M, and taste it. Love, your Valentine's bitch." Will: How come all these cards are all written in the same scrawny handwriting? They're either from really young girls, or they've got severe learning difficulties, which I admit is a possibility. Jay: Nah...it was just cos they were strumming themselves off as they were writing it! Will: It's just that I'm much more cleverer than you need to be to do this. Owner: This? Jim: Maybe Wolfie'll pull her. Will: Except he won't, because she loves me! Jay: (On underage girls) If theres grass on the pitch play ball .

Will: Well, what if there isn't any? Jay: By the time you find out, it's too late anyway. Jay: Looks like there's some tidy minge here. Will: Yes, it's tidy because it hasn't got any hair on it! Simon: (To Will) Maybe Charlotte needs someone to help service her car! Jay: Oh, I'd service her alright! I'd slide my dipstick in right deep! Hannah: I'm so horny, tongue me! Jay: Christ, Simon's only gone and pulled himself an experienced cock handler! Will: Or, someone so inexperienced she thinks this is the best way to pull a boy. Jay: Well, either way, thanks to me we're now watching Simon get wanked off! Will: Yes, well we really do have a lot to thank you for. Simon: He kicked me in the cock! Jay: Good shot to get you in the cock! Charlotte: (to Will): You're a nasty little virgin. (throws drink in his face). Will's Birthday [2.3][ edit ] Patrice: And I think some went on the floor, sorry. Will: Right. Thanks, Patrice.

[at Will's dinner party] Will: Look, I put a lot of effort into this! I made a really nice coq au vin... Jay: Cock of what?! Simon: You don't help yourself, do you? Will: Oh yes, I see, 'coq' au vin, very mature! It actually mean chicken in wine, doesn't it, Patrice? Patrice: Quoi? Will: Well, it does, and it doesn't mean cock up my arse, or cock on my head, or... Simon: ...you got some cock in the back of a van... Will: Or that I got some cock in the back of a van! Look, all I wanted was a nice, civilised and sophisticated dinner party. Just something a little different from the usual parties - maybe even the sort of party that girls are impressed by! OK, so there aren't any girls here, but why don't we at least attempt to have a sophisticated conversation? I know it's a tall order, and I'm not expecting sparkling, but let's give it a go, eh, since it is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY! [everyone sits in chastened silence for a while.

Then...] Neil: How much Lego can you stuff up your bum? Will: Oh, for Christ's sake! Neil:No not now, like when you were younger how much did you get up there? Jay: You are grim mate. Simon:Why were sticking Lego up your bum? Will: Oh God, what if my birthdays just get worse and worse from now on? What'll happen next year? Jay: You get AIDS? Will: I'd have to have sex for that to happen. Neil: Or fuck a monkey? Will: Technically, that still counts as sex. Simon: Or drink from the same cup as Neil's dad. Neil: Oi, my dad does not have AIDS! Jay: Your dad is so AIDS. He's the one who gave it to monkeys. Neil: You take that back! Jay: That's what the monkeys said to him. Night Out In London [2.4][ edit ] Jay: Slow down a minute, Si. [Simon brings the speed of the yellow Fiat Cinquecento Hawaii he's driving to roughly 20mph. Jay takes off his seatbelt, rolls down the window and leans out.] Jay: [Leaning out the window] BUS WANKERS!

[The boys all laugh as Jay gets back in and puts his seatbelt back on.] Simon: Where did that come from? Bus wankers! Jay: I dunno, it just felt right. Will: Those people just saw us passing by and thought, 'We must be the bus wankers!' Neil: [Leaning over Will to get to Simon] Pull over, Si! I need a piss. Angry Man From Bus Stop: I'd rather be a bus wanker than drive that piece of yellow shit! Jay: [Neil is in the toilet nursing his penis after cutting it earlier] What's taking so fucking long? Neil: Oh, mate, it's not good, Get us some bog roll it's bleeding Look! [displays his bleeding penis to Jay] Jay: Ah, Jesus! Put it away, Neil! Neil: I can't. It stings when it rubs on my pants! Jay: Well... take your pants off then! Neil: Then it'll rub on my jeans. Jay: Neil, no matter what your old man says, you can't walk around London with your knob hanging out.

Neil: [being chucked out of the club for wanking in the toilets, but in reality nursing his cut penis] No wait no!, I wasn't wanking! Simon: Oh god! Neil: Ma cocks cut... me cock is cut! Duke of Edinburgh [2.5][ edit ] Neil: Just who is this Duke of Edinburgh, does he teach it? Jay: No, of course he doesn't teach it you fucking idiot, the Duke of Edinburgh is Prince Charles. Will: Umm, no he isn't, it's his dad. Neil: King Phillip? Will: No, I mean, that IS the Duke of Edinburgh you're thinking of, but he's not the King. Neil: But he fucks the Queen though. Jay: Probably up the arse. Will: LOOK, do you wanna sign up or not? Jay: You've gotta be fucking joking, there's no way I'm gonna get bummed by some royal bloke on a mountain! Neil: Yeah fuck it, I'm in. Jay: "Ooh, hello I'm Will, pop your teeth out, Doris, and have a gnosh on this!" Will: Brilliant. Will: Not in a gay way.

It's just that something's gone wrong. Simon: I think looking at your cock in any way is a bit gay. Will: Please, I'm serious. All my pubes have fallen out. Simon: What? Will: I was asleep at school, and...I must have had a wet dream because when I woke up it was all sticky, and... Simon: You spunked in the common room? Will: Yes, but listen...I went home to clean up, and all my pubes came off in the shower. Simon: You spunked yourself, in the common room, during the day...when there were people around? Will: (matter of factly) Yes. Simon: And then your pubes fell out? Will: (exasperated) Yes! Simon: I think this is way out of my league. Will: Look, you've got to help me. I've got that date with Daisy tonight, and if she touches or at least sees the bald old fella, what's she going to think? Simon: That you're a porn star? Will: Simon, look at me: I don't think she's going to think I'm a porn star!

Simon: Maybe you could draw some pubes on with a marker pen. Will: (sarcastic) Oh yes, then maybe I'll draw a six-pack on my stomach! Or a longer cock! Simon: Or maybe stuff a wig down there. Will: (exasperatedly sarcastic) Oh...good idea! A cock wig! Will: I dont have any pubes! I did have pubes, but I had a wet dream and they fell out! Jay: At least I don't have to wipe old arse for the next three months, just to get a Duke of Spastic award! Exam Time [2.6][ edit ] Chloe: Shouldn't you be revising, too? Jay: Nah, teacher said cos I've got a photographic memory it wouldn't be fair on the other kids. Jay: Have you had a wank over Will's mum? Will: Please don't have a wank over my mum! Neil: I can't promise that, Will. [Will is having his politics exam, which has been going for quite a while now. Mr. Gilbert is walking between the tables, and we hear Will's tummy rumble. He puts his hand up and Mr.

Gilbert comes over to him.] Mr. Gilbert (whispering): What is it now, McKenzie? Will (also whispering): Sir, I need to go to the toilet. Mr. Gilbert: Again? Jay: Dad, can I ask you a question? Mr Cartwright: Woman trouble, is it? That piece you were with the other day? Jay: Chloe? Yeah. Mr Cartwright: So she's dumped ya? Good. I thought she was facking pig! Jay: Nah, it's not that, Dad. I'm just getting jealous cos I think she's seen a few more people than I have. Mr Cartwright: That's a given, innit?! If she's seen one person she's seen more than you! (Jay looks sad) Mr Cartwright: Look, mate. Women are like fairground rides. Fuckin mental. Your only hope is to make sure when she wants some, you do the best with your tiny equipment...oh, and check where she is the whole time. That's the only way you'll know she's not fucking this other bloke. Jay: Right, cheers, Dad.

The Fashion Show [3.1][ edit ] Simon: Isn't that the ear you have pierced to say you're gay? Jay: Well, there's a quick way to find out, Neil, which ear's ya Dad got pierced? Neil: Which ear is it, Will? Will: Oh, I'm the last person to ask. Neil: I thought you knew everything? Will: Well, I don't know any boys who've had their ears pierced because I went to a private school. Will: Riding around in Jay's car made me feel like royalty. Unfortunately, the royalty I felt like was Princess Diana. Will: I'm still exercising my right to protest (about the fashion show) Mr Gilbert: Good. Just make sure it's not a dirty protest, like the last one. Simon's Dad: Is that David Beckham? Simon: (who had been practicing catwalking in the conservatory) You spying on me?! Is that it?! Is that how you get your kicks?! Simon's Dad: You look good. Simon: Fuck off! I'm going out. Simon's Mom: You can't go out now you've got school in the morning.

Simon's Dad: Yeah, run away at the weekend when you've got your car back. Simon: Well, I'm not spending another minute in this house with you UTTER TWATS!!! (Opens door) Mr Gilbert: I suppose you thought that was funny. Simon: Sir, no, honest. Mr Gilbert: Well, there's nothing funny about testicles, Cooper. As you'll discover tomorrow morning in my office. Will: (Perturbed) Sorry, sir, that sounded a bit wrong. Mr Gilbert: No it didn't. See you tomorrow. The Gig And The Girlfriend [3.2][ edit ] Will's Mum: Have fun, and if anyone offers you any D-R-U-G-S, be careful. Will: What?!? Will's Mum: I overheard you. It's ok, petal. I know boys will be boys, but I can trust *you* to do the responsible thing. I'm very lucky to have you, because you're so boring. Will: Boring? Jay: Please...sort me out, geeza? I've got twenty quid. Dealer: So? What do you want from me? Jay: You know, gear?! Sweet Mary Jane. Ganja, man.

Dealer: Oh, so you want to buy drugs! And you came to me. Why? Neil: Well, because we saw you- Dealer: Because I'm black? You saw a black guy at a gig and thought 'he must be a drug dealer'? Jay: No, we didn't... Dealer: You f*cking white boys are all the same, you know that? Scratch beneath the surface just a little bit and you're RACIST. Yeah, that's right, I said it - racist. *silence*: Neil: But...have you got any drugs? Dealer: Yes, I have, but that's not the point. The point is you *assumed* I had some just because I'm black. Jay: Could we buy some please? Dealer: Why should I deal to you? Why should I deal to two little suburban racists who see me as some kind of stereotype? I'm at university! Neil: But you are a drug dealer as well, yeah? Dealer: Yes, I do deal, but you keep missing the point! Jay: Look, here's thirty quid, could we just have some puff? Dealer: Yes, you can. But only because I'm a dealer.

NOT because I'm black. Will: Can somebody call me an ambulance? Because I'm in trouble. Time is moving really, really slowly, and everything is flat. I need you to call me an ambulance, or failing that, my mummy. I really want my mummy because, and I'm not being dramatic, but I think I might be dead. Is that clear? Mummy or ambulance. The Will's Dilemma [3.3][ edit ] Simon: (to Will) You've only kissed three girls. Your type is 'anyone who'll let you'. Jay: Oi, Neil, hear about Boy? He was messing about up the rec, got his head wedged in a bottle bank. When they found him the next morning, he'd been arse raped eighteen times. Neil: Oh, mate, that's grim! Will: I have a few questions. Jay: Like what? Will: Well, firstly, what was he doing with his head wedged in a bottle bank? Jay: Looking for bottles, you mug. Will: OK. Secondly, the first 18 people to find him happened to be opportunistic homosexual rapists?

Jay: Obviously...oi, Neil, where was ya Dad last night? Neil: Badminton, why? Jay: (suspiciously) 'Course he was. Will: And finally, after what was, at best, a humiliating experience, would he, as the victim, tell anyone - let alone YOU - about it?! Jay: I used to sit next to him in woodwork. # Will: Well, that's awful. Obviously. But not- Tara: What? Will: Well it's not...it's not relevant , is it? Will: If you want the truth, Kerry gives out blowjobs like they're going out of fashion and, by all accounts, I'm one of the only ones to have turned her down! Kerry: *sobbing* I hate you! Mr Sutherland: Will, I want you to leave. Kerry: I'll give you a blowjob. Will: I'm sure you will. Neil: Have you had that blowjob, yet? Will: Yes, Neil, I've had one on the escalator and one in Nandos. Neil: Really? The Trip To Warwick [3.4][ edit ] Jay: Oh mate, you've gotta have a plan.

One mate I knew, he didn't have a plan and went in too quick, broke his nob in half! Tara's Sister: I don't like the idea of you having sex at all, but at least I know you're doing it somewhere comfortable. Simon: Oh, of course, only in her vagina. silence* Jay: Why'd you say vagina then? Jay: Well when I fingered her, she shit down my arm. Neil: This has been the best night of my life. Simon: I'm gonna fuck your fuckin fanny off you twat! Simon: My penis is hard for you. Jay: C'mon Iv'e got enough young meat for the both of ya Jay: (pretending to be Simon) Oh look at me I've got a girlfriend and I love going round hers and listining to her shit music and laughing at her shit jokes and pretending she is fit when she isn't. Simon: Who isn't that fit? Jay: Your mum. Will Is Home Alone [3.5][ edit ] Mr.

Gilbert: (to Will, in his office): You've got until Monday to find out (who vandalised the roundabout flower display), or it's 'Goodbye, first-rate education, hello, the University of Lincoln'. Will:: Sorry, is there a sign on the permanently open front door saying 'this way to the free toast bar?' Jay: (commenting on Will's house rules) God, it's like staying at the Ritz! Will: Famous of course for its 'no chucking drinks or toast' policy. Jay: Ah,yes,Will's mum's vibrator! Neil: And has he always watched you tug one off? Jay: No! I wasn't wanking when I was 10, was I?! Neil: I thought you got laid when you was nine? With that fit babysitter? (Will stares) Jay: ...Erm...yeah, and that's WHY I wasn't wanking so much. Will: (after a squirrel refuses to dodge Jay's car) You've just lost a game of chicken with a rodent! Neil: Oh, that's so funny! He's mugging you off, mate! Jay: Right, we'll see about that! (Jay reverses really hard.

You hear a bump) Will: Oh god. (They get out to see a dead squirrel lying on the ground) Neil: Oh, why did you do that for?! Jay: That'll show him! Fucking little piss taker. Will: I don't think he was trying to take the piss, Jay! Neil: Let's go get a spade, we'll bury it. Jay: Nah, fuck him! (Pause as they look at the body. Jay looks solemn) Jay: (Mournfully) His eyes look sad. Will: (Narration) So in Neil and Jay's course of destruction, the death toll stood at ten destroyed daffodils and one piss-taking squirrel. Will: (after witnessing his garden's daffodils being destroyed by the other boys):What are you going to do next? Tag up my bedroom?! Piss through my letterbox?! Neil: Can we? Will: No! Right! We're going out again! Come on! Will: Okay, I'd assumed it was a given, but I'll make this clear just in case: No one is to shit in my back garden!!! Will: (kicks the door into an old woman's face) Fucking Mrs. Springett!

Camping Trip [3.6][ edit ] Simon: (to his parents): Brilliant(!) You've effectively ended my life. Why not go the whole hog and just shoot me? Or better still, why don't you take me to the vets and have me secretly put down, just like you did with Patch?! Neil: What is Swansea, is it an animal? Gilbert: Teachers don't start each day by swearing alliegance to the Education Fairies under a portrait of The Queen. It's not so much a calling as a graveyard for the unlucky and the unambitious. Between you and me, the only reason anyone teaches these days is that they've taken a more relaxed stance on police checks in recent years. Will: They say the art of teaching is aiding discovery. And Mr. Gilbert had helped me discover that he was a wanker. Simon: (about the dinnerlady) That stupid ugly bitch just ruined it for me with Carli!! Jay: Why, has she been controlling your personality for the last eighteen years? Jay: I knocked out a cow in the countryside once, one punch to the face. Will: Hmmm, course you did.

Jay: But then its mate saw what was going on and I had to scarper from a whole group of them. Managed to get off the gate, but then they stood up on their hind legs and started firing milk at me from their tits! Will: Udders.

Question: On TV and in film who are Neil, Simon, Will and Jay?
Answer: The Inbetweeners