The Goon Show Site - Goons Characters Ned Seagoon Played by Harry Secombe An honest but gullible idiot, around whom the plot revolves. The patriotic Neddie is always willing to lay down his life for his country. He is often unemployed, some episodes begining with him accepting a new job which leads him into to trouble. Many jokes are made about his short yet rounded appearance. Catchphrases include "Hello folks", "Needle nardle noo", "What,what,what,what,what" and "I don't wish to know that". Major Dennis Bloodnok Played by Peter Sellers A corrupt military cad, pervert and idiot. Seagoon's former commanding officer who suffers terrible flatulence. Bloodnok is a total coward who will betray anyone or anything for money. Catchphrases include "Nurse the screens!" and "It was hell in there". Bluebottle Played by Peter Sellers A young, lustful boy scout with a squeaky voice who normally gets blown up in each episode. He is often a companion of Eccles and is willing to help anyone for sweets, although he frequently fails. Bluebottle is noted for using tools or weapons made from cardboard and string.

He often reads his stage directions out loud and is always greeted with a deliberate round of applause from the audience. The character is based on real scout master with a squeaky voice. Catchphrases include "Enter Bluebottle, waits for applause...Not a sausage", "You rotten swine, you deaded me" and "I don't like this game". Eccles Played by Spike Milligan The Famous Eccles, complete and utter idiot. An amiable, well-meaning man with no wits or understanding. When people tell him to shut up, he frequently joins in and often goes on telling himself to shut up long after everyone else has given up. Eccles often finds himself helping Ned Seagoon alongside Bluebottle. His idiotic logic is considered to epitomize Goon humour. Catchphrases include "Hello der", "Fine, fine, fine", "I'm the famous Eccles" and "Shut up Eccles". Hercules Grytpype-Thynne Played by Peter Sellers A sleazy, well-educated and scheming cad. He generally collaborates with Count Moriarty to swindle Ned Seagoon. Catchphrases include "You silly twisted boy" and "Have a gorilla".

Count Jim Moriarty Played by Spike Milligan Unscrupulous member of the French aristocracy who turned to crime to support his lifestyle. As The Goon Show developed, Moriarty decended from a ined criminal mastermind into a snivelling sidekick to Grytpype-Thynne. He is often found scavenging in dustbins looking for food and uttering meaningless foreign-sounding curses. Catchphrases include "Oooowwwww" and "Sapristi nabolis". Henry Crun Played by Peter Sellers An elderly idiot inventor and partner of Minnie Bannister. Rather decrepit and forgetful, he often struggles to keep pace with the action around him. Catchphrases include "You can't get the wood you know". Minnie Bannister Played by Spike Milligan A feeble old spinster with an interesting past. Minnie enjoys modern-type music and is as flirtatious as a girl a third her age. Catchphrases include "Henrrryyyyy" and "We'll all be murdered in our beds!". Other Characters A very camp and effeminate man, usually some type of official. Gladys Usually a secretary/personal assistant whose gender was questionable.

Jim Spriggs Sometimes repeats his lines in falsetto song for no apparent reason. Calls everybody "Jim". Lew Played by Peter Sellers A fast talking showbiz agent, always trying to promote his terrible acts. Based upon Lew Grade, an influential Jewish showbusiness impresario and television executive. Little Jim A timid child with the single line, "He's fallen in the water". McGoonagall Played by Peter Sellers or Spike Milligan Terrible Scottish poet who summarizes the plot in an overstated manner. Inspired by the 19th century poet William McGonagall. Miss Throat Anything but a woman, with a very gravelly voice and the single line "Right mate". Various Tribal Chiefs Played by Ray Ellington Being the only black cast member, Ellington often played angry native chiefs. This was a time before political correctness! Willium Cobblers (or 'Mate') A working-class cockney idiot with a jobs-worth attitude. ers to everyone as "mate". CD Compendiums Goon Show Compendiums are CD box sets, each containing a dozen or more remastered episodes, plus some great bonus features. U.S.

Archives - The Goon Characters The Goon Characters PETER SELLERS plays Hercules Grytpype-Thynne, a posh, educated voice based on that of English actor George Sanders, who often played the suave cad. Grytpype-Thynne is a crook and con man, and the basic plot of most shows revolves around the efforts of him and his henchman, Count Moriarty, to swindle Neddie Seagoon. Major Dennis Bloodnok, a devout coward either retired or deserted from the British Army. He too is a thief who tries to steal from one and all. He is afflicted with extreme gastric distress, and his introductory theme is usually followed by a bizarre series of explosions and bubbling noises that represent his guts rumbling. He comments on these sounds himself with "Quick, nurse, the screens," or "Ooh, it's no wonder I can't go to parties anymore." Occasionally the sound effect won't play, and he'll comment, "I'm cured!" Henry Crun, crumbling, fumbling, very old man. But he takes Elderly Gentlemen's Get Fit hormones and is the nearly lusty paramour of Minnie Bannister.

Most shows contain at least one extended scene with just him and Minnie. Bluebottle , a young boy scout who usually reads his own stage directions. He is the playmate of Eccles, and most shows contain an extended scene with just him and Eccles. Willium "Mate" Cobblers, an elderly cockney who calls everybody "Mate." He most often appears as a constable, but really can pop up in almost any role. SPIKE MILLIGAN plays Eccles, "the original goon," a voice combining Disney's Goofy character; Edgar Bergen's Mortimer Snerd; and Clifton Finnegan, the super-stupid regular customer at Duffy's Tavern. Jokes about his stupidity are a staple of the show, with Eccles himself cheerfully joining in. His character serves both grown-up parts and as the playmate of Bluebottle. Miss Minnie Bannister, spinster, a sexy senior citizen who plays the saxophone and regularly breaks out in song or dance. She lives in sin with Henry Crun, but whenever Major Bloodnok comes on the scene it's made clear that they were lovers in the past.

(Milligan got the quaver in her voice by pinching his neck and wobbling it about as he spoke her lines.) Count Moriarty, French scrag and lackey to Grytpype-Thynne, who usually introduces him and attributes to him some outlandish title or record that he holds ("Has played the male lead in over 50 postcards"). Delightfully wretched in his poverty and degradation. Sellers and Milligan, both of whom had lived in India, regularly lapse into Bengali accents as (interchangeably) Lalkaka, Banerjee, and Singiz Thingh. All three of the primary actors regularly took on other roles as needed by the plot, with Sellers, of course, doing more than the others. OTHER CAST MEMBERS Wallace Greenslade , announcer. He opened and closed each show, did continuities within them, and often took brief speaking parts. When not doing the Goon Show, he was in fact a news announcer at BBC. The Goons took great delight in mocking his proper, trained accent -- and his noble girth. Ray Ellington , drummer, singer whose quartet played one of the two musical interludes in each show.

He also took speaking parts in many shows, most often as African Chief Ellinga or as Bloodnok's old Arab nemesis, the Red Bladder. Max Geldray , jazz harmonica player from Holland. Backed by the house band, he plays the first musical interlude in each show and occasionally takes speaking parts in a thin, accented voice. Wally Stott Orchestra, the house band. Stott made a great contribution to the show with cleverly written themes and comedic musical bits. He later became Angela Morley and moved to the United States, where Angela Morley had a long, brilliant career composing and arranging music for films and television. She died January 14, 2009; for a full biography see the Robert Farnon Society website. Michael Bentine was the "fourth Goon" at the group's inception, but left after the first two of the show's ten series, before it changed and matured into the format that we remember today. His most memorable character was Osric Pureheart, mad inventor. Return to U.S.

Goon Show Archives home page The Goon Show - Wikiquote The Goon Show Jump to: navigation , search The Goon Show (1951-1960) was a half-hour radio show broadcast by the BBC, starring, for the most part, Spike Milligan , Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe . The three all played numerous characters in the absurd comedy, which became immensely popular and, in its own way, groundbreaking and influential to much of today's comedy. Contents Ying tong iddle i po. Bluebottle Enter Bluebottle, wearing doublet made from mum's old drawers. Waits for audience applause, not a sausage. (Applause) Ooh! Sausinges! You rotten swine, you! Silence! I have drunk my fill of the clapping. Eccles You silly, twisted boy, you. (to Neddy) Here, have a gorilla. (to Neddy) Henry Crun You can't get the wood, you know. Minnie Bannister The Dreaded Batter-Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-On-Sea [5.3][ edit ] Henry Crun : Here, Minnie, hold my elephant gun.

Minnie Bannister : I don't know what you brought it for. You can't shoot elephants in England, you know. Henry: And why not? Minnie: They're out of season. Henry: Does this mean we shall have to have pelican for dinner again? Minnie: I fear so, I fear so. Henry: Then I'll risk it. I'll shoot an elephant out of season. Ned Seagoon : We tried using a candle, but it wasn't very bright and we daren't light it. Seagoon: As I swam ashore, I dried myself to save time. Major Bloodnok : How dare you call me Major Bloodnok! Seagoon: That's your name. Major Bloodnok: In that case, I forgive you. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne : He's made fools of the police. Seagoon: I disagree, we were fools long before he came along. Seagoon: At last, by the light from a passing glue factory, I saw that Eccles was only wearing one boot. Eccles: Ooh, well I've only got one boot. Seagoon: I know, but why are you wearing it on your head?

Eccles: Why? Why? It fits that's why! What a silly question. Seagoon: Let me see that boot... hmm, size 19... what size head have you got? Eccles: Size 19. Seagoon: Curse... the man's defence was perfect! Seagoon: Where's this man's other boot? Bloodnok: Stolen. Seagoon: You sure it wasn't a pickpocket? Bloodnok: Positive, Eccles never keeps his boots in his pocket. Greenslade: Seagoon and Bluebottle traveled by sea. To avoid detection by enemy U-boats they spoke German throughout the voyage, heavily disguised as Spaniards. Sellers: As an added precaution they travelled on separate decks and wore separate shoes on different occasions. Seagoon: The ship was disguised as a train, to make the train sea-worthy it was done up to look like a boat and painted to appear like a tram. Milligan: It's all rather confusing, really. Crun: Mr Seagoon? Minnie's been hit with another batter pudding Seagoon: Well that's nothing new Crun: It is! This one was stone cold! Seagoon: Cold??

Crun: He must be losing interest in her The Phantom Head Shaver of Brighton [5.4][ edit ] Seagoon: Tell the eager masses what we have in store for th-- Greenslade: Rubbish. Seagoon: Thank you. Yes - yes, it's Rubbish! The Affair of the Lone Banana [5.5][ edit ] Ned Seagoon : Don't move, Signor Gonzales Mess, née Moriarty - hands up. Moriarty : Seagoon, put that banana down! Seagoon: And leave myself defenceless? Moriarty: Sapristi Bompet! Seagoon: One step nearer and I fire! Moriarty: Ha ha, you fool - you can't fire a banana! It's - (two shots are fired) You swine - it was loaded! Seagoon: Of course! You don't think I'd threaten you with an unloaded banana, do you? The Histories Of Pliny The Elder[ edit ] Caractacus Seagoon: Listen to me, all of you Prisoner: All of me is listening to you Julius Caesar: What type of army is this that takes to the field in blue jerseys with a ball at their feet?

Moriatus: Here comes another Charlie-Britannicus Greenslade: The final score: Romans 900, Britons 3 - War stopped play Narrator: For thirty years Caesar ruled with an iron fist. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string Moriartus: I see that ten years in Britain have not changed your Imperial Roman outlook, Caesar. Julius Caesar: True, Moriartus, always a Roman I. Moriartus: Will you take wine? Caesar: No thanks, I think I'll have a half of mild and a packet of crisps. Referee: Stop this javelin practice whilst the ball's in play. And another thing. You're only supposed to have 11 men on the field; I've counted 675 of yours so far! Julius Caesar: Alright. I'll send one off Moriartus: He says he wants to die rich. Julius Caesar: And he shall: Give him a bag of gold and then strangle him Caractacus Seagoon (on asked how he had been captured by the Romans): I was in the bath.

The only day of the year they could catch me with my socks off Eccles: I can see a manhole cover right above us. Seagoon: Shine the beam of this candle on it. I'll push it off. Eccles! Stand on my shoulders and pull me up! Eccles: Ok... (strained) I'd like to see them do this on television. Ye Bandits of Sherwood Forest [5.14][ edit ] Maid Marion: "Oh fie, oh fie! You see, my fiancé, Mr. R. Hood, will come and fisticuff you! He'll hit thee! Splat thun blat zowee zocko blam thud biff! He learnt all his boxing from comic strips." China Story [5.17][ edit ] The Mysterious Punch-Up-The-Conker [7.19][ edit ] *Various timepieces ticking, chiming and cuckooing. A chicken clucking. Finally a hooter.* Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles? Eccles: Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.

Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles? Eccles: Welll, um, if a anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem. Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man. Eccles: What is it fellow? Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted. Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock. Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock? Eccles: Well den, I don't show it to 'em. Bluebottle: Ooohhh. The Goon Show (Radio) - TV Tropes The Goon Show You need to login to do this. Get Known if you don't have an account Share The Goons. Clockwise from top: Peter Sellers , Harry Secombe , Spike Milligan . Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.

Eccles: I know that, my good fellow. That's right. When I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock. Bluebottle: Well then, supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock? Eccles: Then I don't show it to them. Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock? Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper! — "The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker" BBC Radio comedy show starring Peter Sellers , Spike Milligan (who was also the main writer), and Harry Secombe , which ran from 1951 to 1960. The first series was titled "Crazy People - with Radio's Own Crazy Gang: The Goons". Michael Bentine is credited with being a co-inventor of the concept and in fact was a full Goon for the first two series, but left after artistic and personal differences with Milligan. According to one interview, Milligan overheard Bentine suggesting that he (Milligan) should be fired.

Beginning as a sketch comedy series, the show accumulated a cast of recurring characters and evolved into a surreal, continuity-free sitcom, with each episode dropping the characters into a different place, time, and situation, and leaving them to react to it in their characteristic fashion. The plots, such as they were, often revolved around well-meaning fool Neddie Seagoon (Secombe) becoming the target of some plot by impoverished conmen Hercules Grytpype-Thynne and Count Jim "Knees" Moriarty (Sellers and Milligan respectively) Grytpype's influence drags Moriarty down from the competent schemer of series 5 to the cringing dustbin-dweller of series 9. Other major characters included Dirty Coward Major Bloodnok (Sellers), the aged Henry Crun and Minnie Bannister (Sellers and Milligan), happy-go-lucky Chew Toy boy adventurer Bluebottle (Sellers), and The Famous Eccles, the world's biggest idiot (Milligan).

Wallace Greenslade acted as the announcer (Andrew Timothy in the earlier series), but was often roped into the story , while Ray Ellington (jazz singer) and Max Geldray (harmonica) provided musical interludes. They also were called on occasionally to play small parts - often parts for which their voices were highly inappropriate. The Ellington Quartet's trumpeter George Chisholm occasionally played mad Scotsmen. The scripts were mostly written by Spike Milligan, with various persons note such as Bentine, in the beginning, and later Eric Sykes and Dick Emery helping him. A few episodes were written by these helpers while Milligan was unavailable . Considerable ad-libbing occurred, much ad-libbing was carefully scripted, and lampshades were regularly hung . The show had several guests over the years, most often Valentine Dyall "the Man in Black" who played various similar but distinct roles. The Goon Show's style of humour was an influence on many later British comedians, notably Monty Python and The Goodies , and even The Beatles ' humorous side has roots in this show.

( John Lennon specifically credited the Goons as an influence.) It's fair to say that if you like any subsequent British comedy at all, somewhere along the line you have The Goon Show to thank. The Firesign Theater was also deeply influenced by the Goons. Of all things, Shrek mentions "Bloodnock the Flatulent" as one of ogre gods. Not to be confused with The Goon , a comic series about a muscle-bound mob enforcer who fights monsters; nor should it be confused with any shows that happen to be made by goons , or The Gong Show , or The Goonies . This series includes examples of: Abnormal Ammo : Frequently. Various episodes make use of hens, porridge, soup, Christmas puddings, and Sassenachs. And "Dishonoured" and "Dishonoured Again" (Dishonored), "Under Two Floorboards" ( Under Two Flags ), "King Solomon's Mines" ( King Solomon's Mines ) .... Audience Murmurs : Parodied.

Crowd sounds would be made by the cast saying "Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, custard." Scottish crowds were identifiable by the characteristic cry of "McRhubarb, McRhubarb, McCustard, McRhubarb." With occasional mutterings about porridge. Badass Boast : Well, Seagoon tries. Seagoon: Have a care, sir. I'm not a man to be laughed at. Grytpype: I know, I've seen your act. Bait and Switch : Being on radio, it was especially easy to use this trope: Lo-Hing Ding (Bentine): [Unintelligible Chinese-sounding rantings] Secombe: Inspector? Secombe: This man is Chinese. Inspector: How do you know? Secombe: You can tell by his eyes. Inspector: His eyes? Secombe: Yes. Didnï¿½t you hear the way he pronounced them? Banana Republic : Literally, in The Affair of the Lone Banana and again in Foiled by President Fred. Biting-the-Hand Humor : Everywhere.

For example, when Bluebottle has turned out to have been impersonating Wallace Greenslade after complicated events that made no sense: Bluebottle: I was using his large-type front and posh-type talking act to work my way to a position of importance in the BBC! Seagoon: Silly lad! There are no positions of importance in the BBC. "1985", their parody of George Orwell 's Nineteen Eighty-Four , is wall-to-wall this. Britain is ruled by the despotic tyranny of the BBC, and 846 Winston Seagoon is tortured by being forced to listen to BBC Radio soap operas. In the end, the Independent Television Army takes over (a Take That to the Independent Television Authority, which had been created to supervise the development of commercial TV in Britain)...and promptly starts broadcasting exactly the same shows, to Winston's horror. Bringing Running Shoes to a Car Chase : In "The Missing Number Ten Downing Street": Eccles: Inspector? I think I'm on to something. Iï¿½ve been tailing a car up der Great North Road for the last 30 miles, and it looks very suspicious. Seagoon: Overtake him at once!

Eccles: But heï¿½s doinï¿½ a hundred miles an hour. Seagoon: Well, try and pass him. Eccles: Well, Iï¿½ll try, but heï¿½s got the advantage over me. Seagoon: Why? Eccles: Heï¿½s in a car, Iï¿½m walkinï¿½. In "Ill Met By Goonlight": First Nazi : Ach Himmel! He's running alongside the car. Faster driver! Driver: Jawohl! Seagoon: I'm an idiot! Echo: You certainly are! In "The Great Bank of England Robbery", Eccles gets in an argument with his echo, thinking it's a real person mocking him — "Who's that?" "Who's that?" "I'm Eccles." "I'm Eccles." "You can't be, I'm Eccles." and so on — even though it's just repeating what he says... until the end of the bit, when this happens: Eccles: Now then I've got to find Mr. Seagoon. Echo: Needing me anymore? Echo: OK, goodbye!

Catch Phrase : Tons (the main characters' are on the character sheet): Jim Spriggs: "Hello Jim", and variants on the latter phrase as well as others wherein they would be repeated in a high-pitched singing voice, e.g. "Hello Jim! HEEEELLOOO JIIIM!" Little Jim: "He's fallen in the water!" — which is almost the only thing he ever says. Willium: "You can't park there, mate!" "Ying tong iddle i po" and "Needle nardle noo", all-purpose catchphrases (most often Neddie's). "It's all in the mind, you know" was also used by everyone, most commontly Grytpype-Thynne. Wallace Greenslade (usually about Seagoon): "He's very good, you know. Very good." Milligan was known to comment that a catch phrase was simply a meaningless remark repeated until people were brainwashed into laughing at it. Charge-into-Combat Cut : In the episode "Dishonoured" (remade as "Dishonoured Again") Neddie Seagoon goes off to fight, and we only learn what happens next from Bloodnok's narration.

Bloodnok: How that battle raged - I watched it all on television, you know. Seagoon fought like a madman - how else? But alas... On that spot is now a little white stone. Once a year Min lays flowers on it. The stone bears a simple inscription in Hindi - I haven't the heart to tell her that roughly translated it says "Bombay 49 miles". Greenslade: Oh, hard luck. Still, he tried. Cloudcuckoolander : Most characters veer into this, Eccles and Bluebottle especially. Color Blind Confusion : In the episode "Foiled by President Fred", Eccles has a red sack of forged money and a blue sack of genuine money. Or maybe it's the other way around. Thanks to his colour blindness, he isn't able to tell which sack is which colour anyway... Comically Small Bribe : Multiple variations, including successful attempts to bribe people with photographs of money. Seagoon: Wait...this five pound note in the photo...it's a forgery! And Bluebottle would do nearly anything for a quarter-pound bag of sweets, though that's not wildly implausible for somebody his apparent age.

Then again, when you hear what he wants to do with the sweets... Moriarty: Get Seagoon out of that laboratory, and a fortune in sherbet suckers ... is yours. Bluebottle: Ohh, ecstasy! For two sherbet suckers, Freda Niggs is mine tonight! Hyperbole-level poverty was a running gag through the whole series. (After all, it was Britain in The '50s ). For example, the day after a battleship steamed up the river Thames and announced via megaphone in the middle of London, "Hands Up, England!"... Alderman Spriggs: All in all, gentlemen, the thieves made off with England's entire cash assets of three pounds, eleven and sixpence! And when John Snagge learns that Wallace Greenslade has been hired away from the BBC for a wage of five pounds a year: Snagge: Five pounds? There isn't that much! Corpsing : They frequently set each other off, or the studio audience did, or after they flubbed a line.

In "The Case of the Missing CD Plates", a running gag involving absurd sped-up cod-Eastern music and nonsense words sets off a storm of giggles that completely halts the show in its tracks for 20 seconds or so. Double Entendre Drop the Cow : One episode ("The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler") ended with the heroes on a raft, faced with a difficult decision - they could either eat some batter pudding and live, or preserve the pudding as evidence and die in the cause of justice. The Lemony Narrator then asked listeners to write in with the "classic ending" they wished to hear. Suggestions to be written on a piece of batter pudding. Talk about your lemony endings... Narrator: For you cretins who insist on a happy ending, here it is. (sappy violin music) Grytpype: Darling — darling, will you marry me? Bloodnok: Of course I will, darling! Narrator: Good night! Early Installment Weirdness : The early series of The Goon Show had four people (the regular three plus Michael Bentine), and were written as multiple short sketches.

Later, the show's typical structure crystallised: the Goons, as themselves, would give a rambling introduction, then the announcer would provide a transition into a single, extended (if often barely coherent) narrative, featuring a Universal-Adaptor Cast of madmen with Negative Continuity . Either/Or Title : Many examples. The Goons mocked this trope mercilessly: "The Greatest Mountain In The World!, Or: I Knew Fred Crute, Or: The Greatest Mountain In The World!" "Round the World in 80 Days, or: Money Refunded".

In this particular case, the announcement preceded a short violin solo after which Milligan, as Little Jim, could be heard doling out cash with a charitable "There's Money For You, There's Money For You!" "The Fireball of Milton Street", or "What's become of that crispy bacon we had before the war, ey?" "The Search for Rommel's Treasure, or..." (dramatic fanfare, lasting nearly 30 seconds) "...I've forgotten what I was going to say now." The episode "The Curse of Frankenstein" was given two possible titles in the episode itself: "'My Heart's in the Highlands but My Feet Are in Bombay', or 'I Was the Victim of a Terrible Explosion'." "Le Salarie de la peur, or " The Wages of Fear ", or in English "The Fear of Wages". One of the earliest episodes took this trope too far... Seacombe: "The Collapse of the British Rail Sandwich System", or... Milligan: "I was General Woolfe's Chiropodist, by John Bunion", or... Seacombe: "The Collapse of General Woolfe's Saxophone System on the Manitoba Sandwich Railway", or...

SFX: Incomprehensible noises Flamboyant Gay : Minor gag character Flowerdew. Flock of Wolves : In "The White Neddie Trade", Seagoon mentions in an aside that he's a secret agent from Interpol, trying to infiltrate an illicit smuggling ring. The show ends with every other character revealing that they, too, are secret agents from Interpol. Friendly Fire : In "The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-on-Sea", Seagoon and Crun are fired upon by Nazi artillery across the Channel when they light a match, so Crun has the idea to light a German match (" Brilliant! They won't fire on their own matches! ")...only for them to be fired upon by the British artillery. The same episode contains the immortal line: Eccles: Hey fellas - there's no need to worry about the mine - it's one of ours! Funny Foreigner : In particular minor characters Mr. Banerjee and Mr.

Lalkaka (Indians), Eidelberger (German — although in "The Great Bank Robbery" he denied it on the grounds that no self-respecting German would have such an atrocious phony accent ), Yakamoto (Japanese), Lieutenant Hernhern (American, usually shows up in World War II stories) and others. If one hasn't read up on it going in, they might not realize many jokes about Bloodnok are fart gags, accomplished through odd sound effects (i.e. explosions) and suggestive phrases, e.g. "No more curried eggs for me!". One episode featured a character named Dr. Londongle. A minor character rejoices in the name of Justin Eidelberger ("just an idle bugger"). Then there was the referenced-but-never-seen character called Hugh Jampton (ie Huge Hampton, 'Hampton Wick' being rhyming slang for "prick"). There are occasional cracks about elderly people and their sex lives (or lack thereof) involving Min and Henry Crun. Some of them are pretty coarse if you're paying attention. Henry Crun: It's the war-whoops of the Nakatacka Indians! Minnie: Are they the ones that commit atrocities?

Henry Crun: Yes, Min. Minnie: I'll go upstairs and get ready! "Bend over for the golden rivet!" The punchline to a very old Royal Navy joke which isn't about rum or the lash. "It's your turn in the barrel!" Another old sodomy gag. The broadcasts of the show had to be edited for the BBC World Service broadcasts to India. In the dialogues between the two funny-Asian characters, Sellers and Milligan (both having lived in India) were fond of slipping in Hindi obscenities that would pass right by most British ears. But when re-broadcast to India and Pakistan... When the shows were packaged for overseas broadcast by the BBC Transcription Service, their literature was careful to identify which shows "our old friends Lalkaka and Banerjee" appeared in. Seagoon is often referred to, and sometimes calls himself, a Charlie, meaning a patsy or fool. This is from rhyming slang: Charlie Hunt... (indirectly making this Country Matters as well). It Makes Sense in Context , believe it or not. Well, the first line does... Bloodnok: I admire your choice, sir, you can't beat a concrete lamp-post you know.

Seagoon: Rubbish, I beat mine every morning! I show it who is the master. Milligan once responded to complaints about the dirty joke leftovers by saying, "if they know why it's dirty, they've got no business complaining about it." Bluebottle has a couple... Bluebottle: Pulls up trousers, tucks in shirt. Hee hee. My hands were cold . And... Bluebottle: I don't like eatin' oranges in the dark. Seagoon: Then what do you like doing in the dark? Bluebottle: (Embarrassed giggle) Seagoon: Yes, but there's no time for that now! "Who Is Pink Oboe?" has this in the title, "pink oboe" being Forces slang for the penis. Glad I Thought of It : Seagoon in "The Greatest Mountain in the World" when he denounces the idea of building their own mountain as ridiculous, chucks the unlucky suggester out of the meeting, and then promptly claims the plan for himself.

In "The Great Nadger Plague", the revelation of the villains' plot includes Grytpype-Thynne describing it to Moriarty as "a brilliant idea of mine that you thought of". Grand Finale : Not within the original run, but the 1972 special The Last Goon Show of All did live up to its name and brought back the key recurring characters for one last go-round, in a story that has No Ending . Gravity Is a Harsh Mistress : In "The White Box of Great Bardfield", Bluebottle demonstrates his rocket ship: Bluebottle: I stand on the deck and light the rocket fuse, so! [Explosion, whoosh of rocket] Seagoon: Why aren't you on it? Bluebottle: Because... Hmmm, the ship has gone. Thinks. Then what is Bluebottle standing on? [Splash] Impossible Insurance : In "Insurance, The White Man's Burden" Seagoon is talked into insuring the English Channel against catching fire. Later on Henry Crun pours oil on the Channel to calm it, and then burns it off. Unfortunately Seagoon still doesn't get to collect because Grytpype and Moriarty have done a runner.

Then there's "The Canal", where Lord Valentine Seagoon keeps buying life insurance for his son Neddie using increasingly unlikely and specific death scenarios ("How much would it cost to insure Neddie against putting concrete blocks on his feet, blowing himself up with dynamite and then landing in the canal?") before, of course, engineering those exact scenarios. Improbable Aiming Skills : In "The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-On-Sea", the German artillery is capable of firing upon anyone who so much as lights a match! Crun: It's much too dark to see, strike a light. Seagoon: Not allowed during blackout. Only 28 miles across the channel, German guns are watching this coast! Crun: Don't be silly, they can't see a little match being struck! Seagoon: Oh, all right. To wit, in "The Missing Year", it is discovered (in 1958) that there isn't a single 1956 calendar in all of Britain. A meeting of parliament is established to determine what to do about this. They decide to use the "clues" to look for it.

The conversation (with many voices chiming in) abbreviates to: " Let's see, it's 1956 AD... A and D are the first and fourth letters of the alphabet. One Four... One for the road? There are many roads. Such as Cecil Rhodes. He lives in Africa... that's it! I'll search for the missing year in Africa! " Intelligible Unintelligible : The Gothic Horror spoof "The Canal" features a character who never speaks, only emits long eerie screams... which the other characters react to as if they were intelligible speech. Mysterious character: (long eerie scream) Lord Dyall: It's in the cabinet by the bed, dear. It Runs on Nonsensoleum : Exploding cucumbers that blast someone into orbit; someone driving a wall - this show did 'random weirdness' before TV did, never mind the Internet. From "The Booted Gorilla"... Neddie: I have a message for you from Bloodnock, in the heart of Africa . *several seconds of jungle drums* Signed... *tom tom* Any reply? Grytpype: Jove, yes!

This: *several seconds of modern full-kit drum solo* Signed yours sincerely, *congas*, PS, *triangle jingling*. Neddie: What beautiful handwriting you have. "The Goon Show is now available in half-pint bottles. (switches to American accent) Yes, don't listen to the Goon Show, drink it, in the new economy-size serving! Drink: Goon Show!" All Scotsmen, when speaking, are accompanied by bagpipes. And only when speaking. If they say just "Yes", there'll be a quick one-second burst on the bagpipes in the background. "And that, listeners, was the sound of Neddie and Eccles driving a wall at high speed". "Listeners may doubt the authenticity of that sound effect, a boa constrictor galloping. If the truth be known, a horse covered in a snakeskin was used to replicate the sound.

As for the chicken noises, we can only apologize." Lampshaded after a quick series of very random sound effects, including a train accelerating, some battle trumpets, alchemical bubbling, and a chipmunk's scream of anguish; "I'm afraid you'll have to work that one out for yourselves, listeners." In one case this is even in the script - a Running Gag is that different brands of cigarettes are referred to as 'gorillas', 'baboons', 'monkeys' etc., and the script notes that the sound effect of Eccles and Seagoon smoking gorillas should be "SOUND OF TWO GORILLAS FIGHTING - IF CAN'T GET THAT, TRY TWO LIONS" "Ladies and gentlemen, as there is no audible sound for a piece of string we substitute this" *long stream of gibberish* "This is part of the BBC's new economy drive. They have found it is cheaper to travel by bagpipes..." At one point, they knock over a bottle containing the BBC. In "The Siege of Fort Night", Seagoon and Crun found that the gas oven Crun invented could connect to the railway station.

They use this as a shortcut to the fort and bring the oven with them through the oven door. Eccles, following their instructions, hands the front, back, left and right sides in before he realises that he can't close the door and then go through it to bring the inside with him. Solution? Send the door separately. Kill 'em All : Some episodes, due to Negative Continuity , have endings where most, if not all of the characters die. If they don't all die, there's a chance Bluebottle is a survivor, as a reversal of the usual Once an Episode gag. Lampshade Hanging : Milligan owned a lampshade shop... One common example of this was deliberate tactics used to drag out short scripts; sound effects of people running up miles of staircase might end with someone commenting, "The scriptwriter paid me to waste time there." Henry Crun (Sellers): You know Min, a script writer named Spike Milligan gave me two guineas to take a long time walking up these steps. He said it helps him in his work. Minnie Bannister (Milligan): Yes, I know!

Also, after something happened that was only possible because it was a radio show (such as Eccles standing on Neddie's shoulders, then pulling Neddie up so he could reach a high place), someone would often remark that they'd, "like to see them do this on television," or similar. Laughing at Your Own Jokes : Seagoon often laughs hysterically after making some particularly weak pun, and then stops with an '...ahem.' when he realises no-one else joined in. Left the Background Music On Two whole episodes were based on this. In one, the characters would frequently remark upon the significance of the scene-link music or sound effects. In another, the musician's union was on strike, and so they brought in Adolphus Spriggs (played by Milligan) to a-capella the entire theme song, all the scene links, dramatic chords, and even a few sound effects. In "The Lost Gold Mine of Charlotte"... Bloodnok: (narrating, a mourning violin playing in background) Alone, I was, there in the Arizona desert. Left alone to die... I don't want to die! I'm too old for that.

But here I am, with naught but the sun, sands, a shovel to bury myself with, and that red indian over there who insists on playing that blasted violin! Lemony Narrator : Greenslade was this trope: Greenslade: And now, part two, three weeks later. Or part three, two weeks later. Frankly, I couldn't care less. Literal-Minded : Most usually Eccles and Bluebottle, but everyone and the narration was also prone to using jokes of this type. Seagoon: I could tell by his broken English that he was a broken Englishman. Loads and Loads of Roles : Everyone played multiple roles, especially if someone was absent. Sellers sometimes filled in for absentees, but it took four people to fill in for him the day he was absent. For contrast, in certain episodes where Milligan was missing, Sellers filled in for him... and until the credits were announced, no-one listening at home noticed. This also happened to characters within the show, e.g.: Brutus Moriartus: Why don't you stop him, Julius Caesar? Bloodnok: How can I when I'm playing the part of Bloodnok?

Or: Englishman: I am the Manager, the Proprietor, the Head Waiter, and the Chief Cashier of the Restaurant Fred. Seagoon: Who's Fred? Henry Crun: Who was that knocking? Moriarty: It was my friend, Grytpype-Thynne. Henry Crun: I can't see him. Moriarty: That's because you were playing him. Henry Crun: What? Moriarty: He's never here when you're here. Henry Crun: I don't understand... Moriarty: Neither do the audience, that's why this isn't getting a laugh! Loud Gulp : Usually from Neddie. Unsurprising since it's radio and all. Loud of War : In the Nineteen Eighty-Four parody "Nineteen Eighty Five", the tortures in Room 101 all entailed listening to BBC Radio Soap Operas . Which is Fridge Brilliance , as Orwell originally named the room after a real conference room at BBC Broadcasting House in which tedious planning meetings for new programmes (possibly including soap operas) were held. Mad Libs Catch Phrase : "(With) X(-o), the new wonder Y-Z'er".

Based on a common advertising slogan format on radio in The '50s . Examples include "Lifo, the new wonder life-giver", "Leggo, the new wonder leg-regrower" and "Brains, the new wonder head-filler". Majored in Western Hypocrisy : Spoofed in the episode "The Gold Plate Robbery": Visiting Morocco, Neddie Seagoon meets an Arab nomad who went to college in Cambridge and speaks English like a native — with a broad Cockney accent. Meanwhile, in the Future... : In "The Treasure in the Tower", the action alternates between a ship sailing home to bury treasure in 1600 and an expedition to find the treasure in 1957. Much use of "Meanwhile in 1600" and "Meanwhile in 1957" ensues. Played with: when the ship reaches the place where they intend to bury the treasure, the crew of the ship start interacting with members of the expedition, and in the end the sailors bury the treasure in 1600 in the hole dug on the spot in 1957 in an unsuccessful attempt to find the treasure that hadn't yet been buried.

The Movie : The little-remembered Down Among the Z-Men was a rare Goon Show spinoff made in the early days with Michael Bentine in the cast. The script didn't really reflect the Goons' style of humour, but it does include a good Bentine solo routine. More successful was The Case of the Mukkinese Battle Horn, a half-hour short written by Milligan and starring Milligan and Sellers in their Goon Show roles with guest appearances from Dick Emery and Graham Stark. "My card." "My card!" "My card." "Snap!" "It's blank!" "Times are bad." "It's blank!" "No, turn it over." "What a silly place to put it - on the other side!" "My card." "Mister Grytpype-Thynne - King of England?! 'Knighthoods Done While You Wait'?" "MacCard? A Scotsman, eh?" Neddie: Who are you hindu gentlemen? Banerjee: Here, sir. Neddie: "Jim Jones and Tom Squatte, Printers"? Banerjee: They are the men who sold us the cards. And later in the same episode... Bloodnok: We'll settle this by wager.

Here, draw a card from this deck, don't show me what it is... now, what is your card? Neddie: "Jim Jones and Tom Squatte, Printers". Trader Horn: My name is Horn. Trader Horn. Born in Houndsditch. How do you like a name like that eh? Horn-Trader-Horn-born-in-Houndsditch. My father must have been mad. Also in "The Missing Scroll", later re-titled "The Lost Music of Purdom": Seagoon: My name is Seagoon, Neddie Seagoon. You've possibly seen my name in the Mirror. It reads: Noogeas Eidden, Noogeas. James Bond is referenced directly in another episode... Seagoon: (answering a phone) Who's this? Caller: *whistles the James Bond theme* Seagoon: James Bond! Caller: Err, no sir. I'm agent double-oh, three one six, two eight seven four. Seagoon: Ah, premium bond. Narrator : BBC announcer Andrew Timothy as himself; succeeded by Wallace Greenslade, ditto.

Greenslade also became a character of his own - thanking his fan clubs, claiming to be among the listeners in their ignorance, frequently mentioning prominent BBC announcer John Snagge, and even once being the star of an entire show parodying his career as announcer, named "The Greenslade Story, or Winds Light To Variable". In the aforementioned story, they even got John Snagge into the studio to be the viewpoint character. In "What's My Line", Greenslade admitted he was thinking "Hooray for ITV" while saying "This is the BBC," and John Snagge marched in with the BBC firing squad and shot him. Secombe: That was only a recording of John Snagge and his merry huntsmen. Negative Continuity : Every show started with the full roster of characters, usually involved in a completely different story from last time. Characters would frequently be killed off at the end of an episode (Seagoon in particular), only to be unharmed and alive the following week and with no memory of previous adventures. New Media Are Evil : Some cracks at television (well, it was new media back then...) Seagoon: No, it's just that you've changed so much.

[Aside] And, dear listener, changed he had — he looked tired and weary — his eyes, his eyes were sunk back in his head, they were were bloodshot, watery and red-rimmed — what had caused this? Lord Valentine Dyall: Neddie, we've bought a television set. Newscaster Cameo : John Snagge, in several episodes, provided fictional news reports commenting on the events of the episode. No Celebrities Were Harmed : Strongly averted, with the scripts casually throwing in anyone they felt like, even people who one might be expect were beyond the comedy pale - for example, in "The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-on-Sea", Inspector Neddie is calling a list of phone numbers of possible suspects: Neddie: Hello? Winston Churchill: Ten Downing Street here. Neddie: (gulps) I'm so sorry. (slams phone down) No - it couldn't be him - who'd he want to throw a batter pudding at? (phone rings, he answers) Clement Attlee: Hello, this is Mr. Attlee. Someone's just thrown a batter pudding at me!

Another one featuring Churchill: Narrator: The Phantom Head Shaver struck again and again. The tourist trade was threatened; that week only two gentlemen visited Brighton. Winston Churchill: Come on Clem, what have we got to lose? The BBC eventually banned Sellers' Churchill impersonations after the man himself allegedly objected to a topical joke. No Ending : Just one example: "The Great String Robbery" ends with Seagoon being informed that the entire show has been "all in your mind, you know". In wild panic, he screams for help, demanding to know " Who Wrote This Script? ". No Fourth Wall : Especially when the characters refer to the sound effects as being inappropriate or unconvincing. Also, Bluebottle has a tendency to read all his script directions aloud and to vocalize what he's thinking. This was in fact a reference to Peter Sellers' own habit of Talking to Himself (see below). Non-Fatal Explosions : At least Once an Episode (see below). Usually more.

Oh Wait, This Is My Grocery List : In "The Canal", Henry Crun attempts to read helpful advice to Neddie after he falls in the canal, and gets halfway through a cake recipe before realising he's got hold of a cookbook instead of the Lifesaving Manual. It's typical of the series that the still-drowning Neddie's response to this realisation is to wonder what he should do with the cake batter he's just made. Overly Long Gag : Several minutes of silence or footsteps was common, and then there's Minnie and Henry's dialogues, many of which boil down to talking in circles for minutes at a stretch. Or a good thirty seconds of various bits of metal jangling together as someone empties their pockets. Followed by: Seagoon: Quit stalling - empty your pockets! They were fond of this gag, but they did seem to know when to cut it off: Seagoon: Open my money chest and put on a gramophone record of seven thousand pounds in shillings. Thirty seconds of coins clinking, one by one Bloodnok: Wait a minute, that was only three thousand five hundred pounds! Seagoon: I'll play you the other side.

Bloodnok: No, wait; I'll play the rest when I get home. Paying in Coins : In the episode "The Canal", Bluebottle (as the accredited agent of Lloyds of London) arrives to pay out insurance of £40,000 ï¿½ in pennies, counted one by one. He gets as far as 4,000,832 pennies (roughly £16,670) before Eccles drops the hat he's counting them out into, and has to start again. Puff of Logic : Seagoon and co. are wandering in a desert. They spot a house, but are informed by Bloodnok that it's only a mirage. Refusing to believe him, Neddie staggers up to it, only to watch it vanish into nothingness ... and then Eccles falls out of the upper floor. When Greenslade drew attention to the fact that Eccles and Seagoon were attempting (and succeeding!) in climbing on each other's shoulders up the inside of a pillar box. Not one second after he says this, both fall to the ground. Puns : Oh, dear heavens, the PUNS.

Seagoon: You can't bury me! I want to join the (Irish) Guard! Headstone: No man under six feet can join the Guard. Seagoon: But I'm not dead! It's impossible! Headstone: Not impossible, but one should have to box exceeding clever. Pun-Based Title : Occasionally, as in The Siege of Fort (K)Night. Bloodnok: It's YOU that's knocking! Seagoon: Oh- then I'LL come in. This was also frequently used to imply something to the audience, when it actually didn't happen. For instance, a soldier would be asked to escort a spy out of the room. Footsteps are heard trailing off into the distance. The interrogator comments positively on the competence of the soldier. "Then why did he leave me behind?", asks the spy, evidently still in the room. Rewriting Reality : In "Six Charlies in Search of an Author". Room 101 : In "Nineteen Eighty-Five!", Ned Seagoon is locked in a room and forced to listen to a recording... of himself, singing. Rule of Funny : This was the only rule the show observed.

Everything — logic, consistency, continuity, storytelling, characterisation and the fourth wall itself — could be sacrificed in the name of a gag. WW2 -era radio comedy shows such as It's That Man Again had been as loose with storytelling and continuity, but The Goon Show conveyed a kind of freewheeling insanity which held absolutely nothing sacred. Bluebottle being 'deaded' in almost every episode in which he appears ; Bloodnok being introduced in a Description Cut to his theme song. Also his Unusual Euphemisms , taking the form of "X my Ys and Z my As!"; A splash sound effect as someone falls in a body of water, swiftly followed by Little Jim saying "He's fallen in the wah-tah!"; Referring to 'a photograph of...', 'a cardboard cutout of...', 'a mental picture of...' etc. as though it's the same as the real thing. Seagoon: (while trying to seize control of a train from a hostile Grytpype-Thynne) Eccles, cover me with this photograph of a gun!

Shaped Like Itself : "It was in the year 1656 that the dreaded nadger plague swept across Europe like the Dreaded Nadger Plague of 1656." A Simple Plan : Usually a Zany Scheme dreamt up by Grytpype-Thynne and Moriarty. Occasionally involved a Batman Gambit with Seagoon as a willing but incompetent pawn, in which Seagoon's incompetence was harnessed to produce the required result. Shout-Out : A few scripts have had someone see "something nasty in the woodshed." The very name of the show is a shout-out to Popeye : Milligan was fascinated with the huge lumbering not-burdened-with-brains Goons of the cartoon and visualised his characters as looking and acting like them. Sound to Screen Adaptation : The Telegoons, a 1963-64 BBC TV series that remade some of the stories with puppets providing the visuals. There were also a couple of TV adaptations which basically re-created the original radio productions, ie with the cast reading their scripts in front of microphones.

Springtime for Hitler : In "The Man Who Won the War", Seagoon comes up with a set of increasingly ridiculous schemes to win WW2 in the hope that he will be declared mad and discharged from the army. The title of the episode should indicate how well this goes Steal the Surroundings : In "The Great Bank Robbery", the robbers steal the entire bank, airlifting it away with a zeppelin. Strongly Worded Letter : Threatening to write a letter to The Times was the usual response of many characters to any indignity heaped upon them. *loud knocking on door* Ray Ellington: Open up, or I'll write to the Times. Studio Audience : If not given applause when entering, Bluebottle would occasionally supply his own pre-recorded wild cheers. This was also utilized by Seagoon, and once used to thwart Greenslade. Stuff Blowing Up : Frequently used to off Bluebottle. Subverted Trope : The Goons were known for subverting the punchlines of some well-known jokes, mostly puns. From The Mighty Wurlitzer: Grytpype-Thynne: I thought I saw a Greek urn buried in the sand. Moriarty: What's a Greek earn?

Grytpype-Thynne: It's a vase made by Greeks for carrying liquids. Moriarty: I wasn't expecting that answer. Grytpype-Thynne: Neither were quite a few smart alec listeners. From The Childe Harolde Rewarde: Seagoon: Could you help me to get this sword loose? Ellington: Well I'll hold it, and when I nod my head, you hit it. Seagoon: Let's get this right... You'll hold it, and when you nod your head, I hit it? Ellington: Yeah! Take That In "The Canal": Neddie: And, dear listener, changed he had. He looked tired and weary. His eyes... his eyes were sunk back in his head. They were bloodshot, watery, and red-rimmed. What had caused this? Neddie's father: Neddie, we've bought a television set. In "The Mummified Priest", Crun announces he is having an ancient Egyptian manuscript sent to his museum to be translated.

Neddie isn't sure about his translation skills, but don't worry; Crun "knows two men who are experts at reading ancient scripts: Bob Hope and Steve Allen." In "Ten Snowballs That Shook the World", the scene is suddenly interrupted by a ringing telephone. Seagoon: Hello? Throat: Buy Grubbo dog food. Seagoon: Right! [Hangs up] So that's commercial television. The Tape Knew You Would Say That : Pretty much any time there's a recorded message. Willium: Hello hello hello, who's this kipping on the floor? What's this label round his neck say? (reads) "I am the new tenant 'ere". Oh, are you, mate? What's this second label say? (reads) "Yes I am." In "The Burning Embassy": Radio: This is the BBC Spon Service, and here is the news. On reaching the Middle East, parcels of British water intended for the blazing embassy in China have completely evaporated. Neddie: Evaporated? Are you sure? Radio: Positive. Ellington, doing a Zulu Chief impersonation... Ellington: (long string of african-esque gibberish) Seagoon: Hm.

Flowerdew, tell him I can't understand what he's saying. Flowerdew: (short, very soft-spoken gibberish) Ellington: (long string of very emphatic gibberish) Flowerdew: He says, sir, he doesn't understand what he's saying either. Little Jim, except when announcing someone had fallen in the wa-tah. In the final episode, only Eccles could understand Little Jim - including Little Jim. Bluebottle concludes that he must be one of Mrs. Thatcher's incomprehensivesnote A reference to the Comprehensive School system introduced by Tory Party, of which Thatcher was the Education Minister.. Tricked Into Signing : In "The Policy", Grytpype-Thynne and Moriarty ask Neddie to give them his autograph on a piece of paper that's actually a will leaving them all his money. When he asks why the piece of paper has "Will" written at the top, Grytpype-Thynne explains that that's its name. GSPS Goonistry - History Page Dirk Maggs The Goon Show is probably the greatest radio show of all time, and has probably reached more listeners throughout the world than any other radio comedy show.

Many top comedians these days cite the show as being one of their main influences, and there is seldom anyone who cannot name The Goons when asked. Originally the BBC was reluctant to use the name, Goon Show, not really understanding what they had on their hands, and it went out as Those Crazy People - The Goons. Originally the show was written by Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens, with editing by Jimmy Grafton, the latter being the one who should be credited for bringing the show about. It was in the Grafton Arms in London's Victoria that the show came to fruition and those that made the Goon Show met up. Fresh from the war, many actors, comedians, producers and writers would use the Grafton Arms as a meeting place, and Spike was renting a room above the pub. Spike had already met Harry Secombe during the war and they had found that they shared a common sense of humour. Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine had worked together on an RAF Gang show during the war, and when Harry introduced the pair to Milligan... well the rest is history.

The Pub became a regular meeting place for the four, and under the watchful eye of Jimmy Grafton ((KOGVOS - Keeper of Goons and Voice of Sanity) their performances became a regular attraction. The BBC, being that well-oiled machine and taker of chances, snapped up the show in no time at all (well, it took several years for those who must be obeyed to take notice, and the show was turned down for three years), and a young producer called Pat Dixon gave it a go (GRAMS: LOUD CHEERS) After the first series, the BBC relented on the name and the show was billed simply as THE GOON SHOW. This was where the style became honed, with the number of sketches being reduced, and Neddie Seagoon becoming the leading man. It was at the end of this series that Bentine left to pursue other things, and the format of Sellers, Milligan, and Secombe was continued right up until the last show of all in 1972. Although the press had a field day at the time, there was no rift between Milligan and Bentine.

What follows is a list of the major characters that each of the team played: HARRY SECOMBE plays Neddie Seagoon, the central figure of all the shows. Cheerful, likeable, gullible, but his greed regularly leads him astray. PETER SELLERS plays Hercules Grytpype-Thynne, a posh, educated voice based on that of English actor George Sanders, who often played the suave cad. Grytpype-Thynne is a crook and con man, and the basic plot of most shows revolves around the efforts of him and his henchman, Count Moriarty, to swindle Neddie Seagoon. Major Dennis Bloodnok, a devout coward either retired or deserted from the Indian Army. He too is a thief who tries to steal from one and all. He is afflicted with extreme gastric distress, and his introductory theme is usually followed by a bizarre series of explosions and bubbling noises that represent his stomach rumbling. He comments on these sounds himself with "Quick, nurse, the screens," or "Oh! no more curried eggs for me!".

Occasionally the sound effect won't play, and he'll comment, "I'm cured!" Henry Crun, crumbling, fumbling, very old man. But he takes Elderly Gentlemen's Get Fit hormones and is the nearly lusty paramour of Minnie Bannister. Most shows contain at least one extended scene with just him and Minnie. Bluebottle, a young boy scout who usually reads his own stage directions. He is the playmate of Eccles, and most shows contain an extended scene with just him and Eccles. Willium "Mate" Cobblers, an elderly cockney who calls everybody "Mate." He most often appears as a constable, but really can pop up in almost any role. SPIKE MILLIGAN plays Eccles, "the original goon," a voice combining Disney's Goofy character; Edgar Bergen's Mortimer Snerd (see local groups page*) and Clifton Finnegan, the super-stupid regular customer at Duffy's Tavern. Jokes about his stupidity are a staple of the show, with Eccles himself cheerfully joining in. His character serves both grown-up parts and as the playmate of Bluebottle.

Miss Minnie Bannister, spinster, a sexy senior citizen who plays the saxophone and regularly breaks out in song or dance. She lives in sin with Henry Crun, but whenever Major Bloodnok comes on the scene it's made clear that they were lovers in the past. (Milligan got the quaver in her voice by pinching the skin on his neck and wobbling it about as he spoke her lines.) Count Moriarty, French scrag and lackey to Grytpype-Thynne, who usually introduces him and attributes to him some outlandish title or record that he holds ("Has played the male lead in over 50 postcards"). Delightfully wretched in his poverty and degradation. Sellers and Milligan, both of whom had lived in India, regularly lapse into Hindi accents as (interchangeably) Lalkaka, Banerjee, and Singhiz Thing. All three of the primary actors regularly took on other roles as needed by the plot, with Sellers, of course, doing more than the others. OTHER CAST MEMBERS Wallace Greenslade, announcer. He opened and closed each show, did continuities within them, and often took brief speaking parts.

When not doing the Goon Show, he was in fact a news announcer at BBC. The Goons took great delight in mocking his proper, trained accent -- and his noble girth. Ray Ellington, drummer, singer whose quartet played one of the two musical interludes in each show. He also took speaking parts in many shows, most often as African Chief Ellinga or as Bloodnok's old Arab nemesis, the Red Bladder. [The plethora of jokes linking Ellington to Ghana sprinkled throughout the Goon Show led me in an earlier version of this page to state that he was from that country. I have since learned that he was the son of a black American father and a Russian Jewish mother. If anyone has more biographical info about him I would love to receive it.] Max Geldray, jazz harmonica player from Holland. Backed by the house band, he plays the first musical interlude in each show and occasionally takes speaking parts in a thin, accented voice. Wally Stott Orchestra, the house band. Stott made a great contribution to the show with cleverly written themes and comedic musical bits.

Dick Baker, US Goon Archivist Visit Dick's web site at to read more and see the lovely Sabrina in full colour!!!!!!! Gadzooks Nurse! Quick the screensï¿½.

Question: In the 'Goon Show', what is the name of the blustering major?
Answer: Bloodnock