Wedding Anniversary List: Names by Years Married - Disabled World Wedding Anniversary List: Names by Years Married Print Published: 2011-06-27 (Rev. 2015-06-04) - Contact: Ian Langtree at Disabled World Synopsis: A list of wedding anniversaries by year that includes the names of materials symbols and flowers associated with the anniversary. About Wedding Anniversary A wedding anniversary is defined as the anniversary of the date a wedding took place. Traditional names exist for some of them: for instance, 50 years of marriage is called a "golden wedding anniversary" or simply a "golden anniversary" or "golden wedding". Main Document "In the United States, one can receive a greeting from the President for any wedding anniversary on or after the 50th." What is a Wedding Anniversary? A wedding anniversary is the anniversary of the date a wedding took place. On a wedding anniversary in many countries it is traditional to give a gift to your partner (or couples) that symbolize the number of years of marriage.

The names of some wedding anniversaries provide guidance for appropriate or traditional gifts for the spouses to give each other; if there is a party to celebrate the wedding anniversary these gifts can be brought by the guests and/or influence the theme or decoration of the venue. Jump-To: Ring Size Chart Lists of wedding anniversary gifts vary by country. Listed below is a list of wedding anniversaries by year that includes materials, symbols, and flowers associated with the occasion. Wedding anniversary names common to most nations include: Wooden (5th), Tin (10th), Crystal (15th), China (20th), Silver (25th), Pearl (30th), Ruby (40th), Golden (50th), and Diamond (60th). Wedding Anniversary Gifts List 77.4 Facts: Wedding Anniversary The celebration of wedding anniversaries dates back to Roman times when husbands gave their wives a silver wreath for 25 years of marriage, and a gold wreath for 50. Today there are traditional and modern materials related to each wedding anniversary, usually progressing from the weakest to the strongest as the years go by, to symbolize the strengthening of the relationship.

In the United States, one can receive a greeting from the President for any wedding anniversary on or after the 50th. In the British Commonwealth domains you may receive a message from the monarch for your 60th, 65th, and 70th wedding anniversaries, and any wedding anniversary after that by applying to Buckingham Palace in the U.K., or to the Governor-General's office in the other Commonwealth realms. An exception being Australia and Canada. The delivery of congratulatory messages marking 100th birthdays and 60th wedding anniversaries is arranged by the Anniversaries Office at Buckingham Palace. In Canada you may also receive a message from the Governor General for the 50th anniversary, and every 5th anniversary after that. In Australia may receive a letter of congratulations from the Governor General on the 50th and all subsequent wedding anniversaries; the Prime Minister, the federal Opposition leader, local members of parliament (both state and federal), and state Governors may also send salutations for the same anniversaries.

Roman Catholics may apply for a Papal blessing through their local diocese for wedding anniversaries of a special nature such as their 25th, 50th, 60th, etc. anniversaries. Milestone Anniversary Gifts by Year | American Express Gift Ideas > Wedding Anniversary Gifts Anniversary Gifts by Year List: Ideas for Every Milestone How will you commemorate your first, tenth or fiftieth year of marriage? Consider our suggestions for anniversary gifts by year so you can celebrate every major anniversary understanding the tradition behind the particular milestone. Anniversary Gifts by Years Married: Traditions and Trends Every anniversary is important and worthy of celebration, but there are certain milestones that traditionally carry more weight and deserve extra fanfare. It can be challenging enough to choose an appropriate present for your partner in any given year. Finding anniversary gifts by years married requires even more thought. Whether you’re celebrating your first year of marriage or your fiftieth (or any key year in between), our anniversary gifts by year list can help point you in the right direction. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married. You won’t go wrong supplementing any of our suggested anniversary gifts by year with an American Express® Gift Card.

Tin lunchboxes and silver keychains (see below) are fine. But an Anniversary Gift Card can give your husband or wife the freedom to pick out something he or she truly wants from virtually anywhere American Express Cards are accepted. Major anniversaries have certain themes associated with them. The first anniversary, for example, is known as the paper anniversary (the tenth is tin, the twentieth is china, and so on). That means that anniversary gifts by years married typically center around their specific symbols. Our anniversary gifts by year list includes suggestions rooted in that tradition. We also have some ideas for how you can celebrate each milestone as a couple. Some of the best anniversary gifts by year are the ones you can share together. And many of the experiences we suggest can also be enhanced or made possible with an American Express Gift Card. American Express Gift Cards: The Gifts that Stand Out Can be used virtually anywhere in the U.S. where American Express Cards are accepted Safer than cash because the funds can be replaced if lost or stolen* Choose from a variety of designs appropriate for celebrating the special day ANNIVERSARY GIFTS BY YEAR Paper: 1st Wedding Anniversary Gifts Books are appropriate for the paper anniversary. Consider the classics or a vintage copy of your spouse’s childhood favorite.

Personalized stationery, anniversary photo books and board games are also popular paper gifts. On your first anniversary, present your spouse with an American Express Gift Card and an itinerary for how you’re going to spend the evening. Most newlyweds don’t get the chance to eat at their own wedding. Consider returning to your venue for dinner or hire your caterer to recreate the meal. See if you still remember your first dance. And if possible, spend the night at your wedding hotel. Tin: 10th Wedding Anniversary Gifts Tin toys, vintage lunchboxes and other tin antiques make nice gifts for the tin anniversary. You can also fill a tin keepsake box with favorite photos and other marriage mementos. It’s been 10 years. Maybe it’s time to revisit your honeymoon destination. Stay at your hotel, find the same restaurants and enjoy the getaway that you both likely need. China: 20th Wedding Anniversary Gifts Traditionally, couples give china on their twentieth anniversary, which means you can enjoy an anniversary meal on your two new place settings. Some anniversary gifts by year, however, take on modern interpretations of their moniker.

A piece of Chinese art or sculpture, or custom-made fortune cookies with personalized messages, can also work for your china anniversary. Some couples plan trips to China for their twentieth anniversary. But here’s another idea. When you were deciding where to go for your honeymoon, did you choose one destination over another? If so, take your alternate honeymoon and finally explore that place you almost went 20 years ago. Silver: 25th Wedding Anniversary Gifts Anything silver is appropriate here. How about matching silver rings (or any other jewelry) or an engraved keychain, flask, or money clip? A silver picture frame with one of your spouse’s favorite photographs is a nice option as well. Consider saving the frame for an image from your vow renewal ceremony. After all, it has been 25 years. It might be time to renew the contract. Invite friends and family, or keep the occasion more intimate. Whether it’s dinner for 200 or a special celebration just for the “newlyweds,” a redo of “I do” might be the perfect way to celebrate silver.

Pearl: 30th Wedding Anniversary Gifts Pearl cufflinks or a tie tack for him or a pearl necklace or pendant for her make fitting gifts for a thirtieth anniversary. Anything made out of mother of pearl (like a mirror, picture frame or vase) can work as well. This might be another year for nostalgia. Venture back to the place where you first met, had your first date, shared your first kiss or got engaged and recreate the moment that changed the course of your lives forever. Gold: 50th Wedding Anniversary Gifts Fifty years of marriage is quite an accomplishment, and anyone who makes it to that milestone deserves a medal. In this case, it’s gold. Present your loved one with a personalized gold medal (you’ve run quite a race together) or have your family tree engraved in gold (all those leaves on the tree are there because of the decision you made a half-century ago). The gold anniversary is certainly worthy of celebration. The size and scope is up to you. Just make sure you stage a picture with your children and grandchildren, ideally while holding your favorite wedding photo from 50 years earlier. Here’s to many more years together. Congratulations on your anniversary.

Gift Cards for Anniversaries Wedding anniversaries category jokes All the jokes following are Copyright © 2001-2010 David Minkoff . They must not be copied or circulated but only used for your special occasion (#590) And they lived happily ever after Shlomo and Ruth were celebrating their wedding anniversary. Their long lasting and happy marriage was the talk of the Edgware community. So it was no surprise when a Jewish Chronicle reporter came to see Shlomo to ask him the secret of their successful marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained Shlomo. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on mules. We hadn't gone very far when Ruthï¿½s mule stumbled. She looked at the mule and quietly said 'That's once.' "We had only proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more Ruth looked him in the eyes and quietly said, 'That's twice.' "We hadn't gone more than a half-mile more when the mule stumbled a third time. This time, Ruth promptly removed a revolver from her rucksack and shot the mule dead.

"I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when Ruth looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once'." (#591) The gift Jeremy asks his wife Naomi what she wants for their 25th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new diamond bracelet?" he asks. "Not really," says Naomi. "Well how about a Lexus sports car?" says Jeremy. "No," she replies. "What about a holiday home in the south of France?" he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what would you like for your anniversary?" Jeremy asks. "I'd like a divorce, Jeremy," answers Naomi. "Oy, I wasn't planning to spend that much!" says Jeremy. (#1531) Ooops - 1 Joshua is mega-rich and is always lavishing expensive presents on his wife, Naomi. But today, Joshua is in big trouble. He has forgotten that itï¿½s their wedding anniversary. Oy Veh!

Naomi looks him in his eyes and says, in a very serious manner, "Tomorrow, Joshua, there had better be something for me outside our garage that goes from 0 to 200 in next to no time at all, or else....." Naomi gets up early next morning, opens her front door and finds a small package outside the garage. She opens it and finds, of all things, brand new bathroom scales. The levoyah is on Sunday and Naomi is sitting shivah for the whole week. (#1139) Anniversary surprise Itï¿½s Henry and Dianeï¿½s 25th wedding anniversary and for a surprise, Henry decides to send her some flowers. He even instructs the florist to write on the card: - "From Henry. Happy Anniversary. Year Number 25" Diane is thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It reads: - "From Henry. Happy Anniversary. You're Number 25" (#282) A look back in anger Sadie and Maurice Goldberg were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary with a group of friends at Blooms in Golders Green.

But Maurice looked unhappy so his best friend Michael, a solicitor, went over to him. ï¿½Whatï¿½s the matter, Mauriceï¿½, he asked. ï¿½Why do you look so sad.ï¿½ ï¿½Do you remember on my 5th anniversary I asked you what would happen if I murdered Sadie?ï¿½ ï¿½Yesï¿½, answered Michael, ï¿½I said you would get 20 years in jail.ï¿½ ï¿½Wellï¿½, said Maurice, ï¿½I would have been a free man tonight!ï¿½ (#1276) The anniversary cruise Bernie and Faye, a wealthy couple, are coming up to their 25th wedding anniversary and Faye has been thinking for some months about how they should celebrate. Then she comes to a decision. "Bernie," she says, "I'm going to book us a wonderful 6 weeks cruise. I know you don't like ships because you got sea sick last time, but trust me, this one will be perfect for us.

Itï¿½s called ï¿½Bubbeh of the Sea,ï¿½ an intimate seven-star luxury liner with everything kosher we could ever want to eat made available. Letï¿½s give it a go." Bernie certainly isn't pleased with Fayeï¿½s decision, but who is he to argue - he could never win. So he says, "OK dear." On the day of the cruise, Bernie and Faye drive up to the quay in their Bugatti Veyron 16.4. Captain Cohen is on the bridge as they pass by and calls in the purser. "Find out who they are and invite them to dine at my table tonight." Later, the purser knocks on the door of the Royal State Room. When Faye answers the door, the purser says, "Compliments of Captain Cohen, madam. He would very much like you both to dine with him this evening." Bernie comes to the door and says, "Who is it Faye, is there a problem?" "This man says that Captain Cohen wants us to eat with him this evening," replies Faye.

"I told you we shouldn't have come," says Bernie, "seven-star or no seven-star, we have only been on this boat half-an-hour and already we have to eat with the crew." (#742) The anniversary wish Sadie and Benny were both 65 years old and were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. When all the family and guests had left their house, a fairy appeared from nowhere and said to them, ï¿½Congratulations, you two. Iï¿½m here to grant you both one wish each.ï¿½ Sadie said, ï¿½I want to travel around the world.ï¿½ The fairy waved her magic wand and POW ï¿½ Sadie had tickets in her hand for a round the world cruise on a Cunard liner. Then the fairy asked Benny what he wanted. Benny replied. ï¿½I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and POW ï¿½ Benny was 95 years old. (#1463) The anniversary Max is in WHSmith looking for a suitable wedding anniversary greeting card.

Heï¿½s been there for over 45 minutes, but heï¿½s not having any luck. An assistant notices Max lingering over one card after another and, being a helpful kind of person, goes over to him to see if she can help. "Is there a problem, sir?" she asks. "Yes, there is," replies Max, "I can't find one mine Sarah will believe." (#1545) Endearing terms Itï¿½s Danielï¿½s second 25th wedding anniversary and to celebrate, their son Aaron invites the close family to an anniversary dinner at his house. During the evening, Aaron gets very emotional every time he hears his dad call his mum by such endearing terms as ï¿½darlingï¿½, ï¿½petalï¿½, ï¿½sweetheartï¿½ and ï¿½my lover.ï¿½ Itï¿½s clear to Aaron that his parents are still very much in love. While his mother is out the room, Aaron goes over to his father, kisses him and quietly says, "Dad, Iï¿½m so pleased for you both.

I think it's fantastic that after 25 years youï¿½re still calling mum by those loving pet names." But Daniel, looking very embarrassed, says, "Things are not always what they seem to be, son. I must tell you the truth - I forgot your motherï¿½s name about 5 years ago." (#644) Happiness It was Hetty and Benjyï¿½s 25th wedding anniversary. Hetty says, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, Benjy? I was so overwhelmed and taken aback that I couldnï¿½t talk for an hour." Benjy replies, "Yes, of course I do, Hetty. How could I ever forget? It was the happiest hour of my life." (#1055) Who knows? Sarah and Issy are out celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of life insurance (his) ï¿½ an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without success.

"Issy," she says, with tears in her eyes, "I donï¿½t think you love me." "Why do you think that?" he asks. "Because if you really love me, you would ensure that if anything happened to you, God forbid, I would be properly provided for." "Sarah," he says angrily, "I need life insurance like I need a hole in the head." "I know your views," says Sarah, "but Iï¿½ve spoken to two of my friends recently and they tell me that their husbands have life insurance - and theyï¿½re not as rich as you. If itï¿½s good enough for them, why isnï¿½t it good enough for you?" "Iï¿½ll tell you why," replies Issy, "itï¿½s because theyï¿½ve been paying high premiums month after month and what have they got so far in return?

Nothing, gornisht." "So what if their husbands have been paying for nothing?" says Sarah, "Youï¿½ve always told me Iï¿½m luckier than my friends ï¿½ who knows, maybe this time Iï¿½ll strike it rich." (#480) Confessions Morris and Becky were chatting one evening. Morris says, "Becky, itï¿½s our 25th wedding anniversary soon, so tell me, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Becky hesitated for a moment, then said, "Yes, darling, 3 times." "3 times? How did this happen?" Morris asks her. "Well, Morris, You remember you lost your job a year after we got married and we had no money and we thought we might have to sell our house? Do you also remember that I went to see the bank manager to ask for an overdraft?

Well, we got our overdraft and thatï¿½s when it happened." "Itï¿½s hard to accept," Morris said, "but as you did this for us, I can forgive you." Becky continued, "And you remember years later when you almost died from your heart problem because we couldn't afford the operation? Remember that immediately after I went to see the surgeon at his house, he did your operation for nothing? Well, thatï¿½s when it happened." "Yes," Morris said, "that shocks me too, but as you did it because you loved me, I forgive you. But tell me, Becky, what was the third time?" Becky responded, "Do you remember, Morris, when you were trying to get elected as the synagogue Chairman... and you needed just 12 more votes?" (#726) The request One day, Moishe goes up to his boss and says, rather timidly, ï¿½Mr Gold, is it OK if I take tomorrow off?

Itï¿½s my 25th wedding anniversary.ï¿½ ï¿½What a chutzpah you have,ï¿½ replied Mr Gold, ï¿½Is this what I have to put up with from you every 25 years?ï¿½ (#1611) The celebratory Chinese meal Yitzhak and Hannah decide to eat out to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary and after some deliberation, they choose the KOSHER MOSHE Chinese restaurant. When they arrive, they discuss the menu with the waiter and agree to share the chef's special ï¿½Chicken Surprise.ï¿½ After a short wait, the waiter brings over their meal, which is served inside a lidded cast iron pot, and departs without removing the lid. Hannah is ready to start eating but before she can reach over to the pot, the lid suddenly rises by 1cm all by itself. Hannah looks closely at the pot and briefly sees two beady little eyes looking at her. Then the lid slams back down again. Hannah is worried. "Did you see that?" she asks Yitzhak.

"No, darling, I didnï¿½t," replies Yitzhak. "So look in the pot already," she tells Yitzhak. As he reaches for the lid, it again rises up by 1cm all by itself. Yitzhak looks closely and sees two beady little eyes looking at him. Then the lid firmly slams back down again. Hannah starts to panic and shouts at Yitzhak, "Call the manager over, CALL THE MANAGER OVER." So Yitzhak gets the manager and they tell him what they saw and demand an explanation. "Well sir, I think I can explain," says the manager. "What did you order?" "We both chose the same," Yitzhak replies, "the Chicken Surprise." "Oh I do apologize," says the manager, "the waiter brought you the ï¿½Peking Duck' by mistake." (#534) Vive la difference Maurice and Hetty were approaching their Golden wedding anniversary. One summer evening, as they were taking a slow walk in their local park, Hetty suddenly takes her walking stick and hits Maurice hard across his back with it. "What on earth did you do that for? It really hurts." he shouts at her.

Hetty replies, "That's for 50 years of poor sex." Maurice thinks for a while and then takes his walking stick and hits Hetty hard across her tuchus with it. "Ouch," she screams. "What was that for?" Maurice looks at her and replies, "That's for knowing the difference." (#613) Shlomo and Rifka Shlomo and Rifka had now been married for 50 years and that night, after the celebrations were over, they were in bed and in a pretty romantic mood. Rifka looked at Shlomo and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had." Shlomo felt a bit obliged, so he leaned over and gave her a gentle peck on the cheek. Then Rifka said, "I also remember, Shlomo, when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity." Again feeling obliged, Shlomo gently placed his hand on hers. Then Rifka said, "I also remember, Shlomo, when you used to nibble on my neck and sent chills up and down my spine.

It was lovely." This time, with a blank stare on his face, Shlomo got out of the bed and as he began to walk out of the bedroom, Rifka asked him, "Was it something I said, Shlomo, where are you going?" Shlomo looked at Rifka and replied, "I'm going to the bathroom to get my teeth!" I suppose you are all wondering why I called you all here tonight. Before I begin, I want you all to know that Vicky has instructed me: - not to be witty; and not to be intellectual. In fact she said, ï¿½Just be yourselfï¿½. Vicky has also asked me to check that my instructions on how to get here were accurate and that everyone has managed to find their way here tonightï¿½ï¿½so if I could just check by asking, ï¿½All those not yet here, please raise your left handï¿½. Thank you. I canï¿½t tell you how good it feels to be standing here now on this special occasion. Iï¿½m so glad I cancelled that dental appointment to be here.

My wife told me not to talk about football, or in-jokes, or sex. She said ï¿½just talk about what a fantastic guy dad is.ï¿½ So, in conclusionï¿½ï¿½. Iï¿½m not here to make a fool of dad. Heï¿½ll do that himself, a little later on. Perhaps only a few times in each of our lifetimes do we get a chance to say some nice things to a man of intelligence, wit and wisdom. Unfortunately, tonight is not one of those times. What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where none can say a bad word against him? Well, thatï¿½s enough about me. Iï¿½m here to talk about dad. Dad, a legend in his own mind. He claims to be a self made man. I think itï¿½s damn nice of him to take the blame.

I can honestly say that in all the years Iï¿½ve known him, no one has ever questioned dadï¿½s intelligence. In fact, Iï¿½ve never heard anyone even mention it. When dad left school, he took an aptitude test. Afterwards, the examiner told him, ï¿½You will have a splendid future working for any Company where a close relative or friend holds a senior management position. Dadï¿½s very classy. When we had an evening of music and drink in his house recently, I asked whether he had any Rachmaninoff. Gary replied he didnï¿½t have any vodka, only beer. Dad says, ï¿½Donï¿½t call me uncultured. I go to operas, concerts, ballet ï¿½ all that crap.ï¿½ When he left school, dad wanted to be a stockbroker. Dadï¿½s definition of a stockbroker is someone who invests your money and keeps on investing your money until thereï¿½s nothing left to invest. Dadï¿½s currently learning Japanese using a tape machine playing under his pillow every night.

He can now speak Japanese quite well, but only when heï¿½s sleeping. Watching dad at work is sort of like the piano player in a brothel. Heï¿½s near the action but he doesnï¿½t get totally involved. I went out to dinner with dad once and he ordered our meals in French. I was most impressed. But you should have seen the look on the Chinese waiterï¿½s face! If tonight you havenï¿½t yet heard a good word about dad, itï¿½s only because we havenï¿½t let him speak yet. Occasionally, though, dadï¿½s had a few absolutely brilliant flashes of total silence. Just wait until dad gets up here. Heï¿½ll have you open mouthed with his stories. You wonï¿½t be able to stop yawning. Dad, when all is said and done, youï¿½ve said a whole lot more than youï¿½ve done. Dad always remembers the advice his grandfather gave him.

ï¿½Before you fall in love with a pair of bright eyes, make sure it isnï¿½t just the sun shining through the back of her head.ï¿½ Dad first met Vicky in 1987. That was her room number. When Vicky and dad decided it was time to get married, Vicky said to dad, ï¿½You know, a lot of men are going to be miserable when I get married.ï¿½ Dad said, ï¿½Really, how many are you going to marry?ï¿½ In his youth, Dad loved wine, women and song. He can still sing. Dad is a man who combines the wisdom of youth with the energy of old age. Dad likes being 60. A young woman referred to him as a sexagenarian and he figures at this stage of his life, thatï¿½s the closest heï¿½ll get to flattery. Dad didnï¿½t quite make it as a financial director. He used to look at a balance sheet and if the total assets and total liabilities were exactly the same, he would figure everything must be OK.

I donï¿½t care what dad says about his conquests. On his wedding night he was a virgin. I understand that when Vicky touched him, he turned his head and coughed. When dad was once in Hong Kong, he bought a suit and inside the pocket he found a note written on the inspectorï¿½s tag. The note began, ï¿½Dear most honoured customer..ï¿½ and asked him to send a photo of himself to a certain address. Dad thought that was nice, so he did it. A month later, he got a letter from a Hong Kong tailor that read like this, ï¿½Thank you for your photo. I have been making these cheap looking suits for many years now and I always wondered what kind of slob would wear one.ï¿½ At his last medical, dadï¿½s doctor said to him, ï¿½This is a personal question, but at your time of life itï¿½s important to know.

Do you and Vicky have any trouble with mutual satisfaction?ï¿½ Dad replied, ï¿½No sale, doctor, weï¿½re staying with the Prudential.ï¿½ There are 3 ways to handle Dad. Unfortunately, none of us know what they are. I recently asked dad what he had done with all the money he had earned. Dad replied, ï¿½I spent quite a bit on women, drink, gambling, and the rest I spent foolishly.ï¿½ Dad is a hard boss. He recently introduced a flexible hours programme for his staff. They can come in any time they want before 7am and leave whenever they please after 6pm. Not many of you know that dadï¿½s written his memoirs. They were purchased by Waddingtons and will be released soon as a game. Hereï¿½s another secret dad didnï¿½t want me to tell you. He will have an entry in WHOï¿½S THROUGH 2003 In terms of long marriages, youï¿½re both good role models. Youï¿½ve avoided what happened to one married couple we know.

They told us that the first part of their marriage was very happy. But then, on the way back from the chupaï¿½ï¿½ Thatï¿½s all folks. My speech is over other than to give you this definition of marriage: - ï¿½Marriage is when a woman asks a man to remove his pyjamas ï¿½. because she wants to put them into the washing machineï¿½ SOME NAUGHTIER JOKES (XXX#161) The real thing Jonathan and Talia are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. In all those 25 years, every time theyï¿½ve make love, Jonathan has insisted they do it with the light off. Talia thinks itï¿½s all to do with his not wanting to be seen naked. But today, on their anniversary, she decides to try to rid him of his embarrassment - she really believes that she can cure him of his habit. That night, while theyï¿½re having a great shtup, Talia suddenly turns on the bedside lamp and sees Jonathan with a vibrator in his hand - a soft penis shaped one, but much larger than the real thing.

She is shocked and very, very angry. "You impotent momzer," she screams at him, "how could you have lied to me all these years? Youï¿½d better explain or you wonï¿½t see me again." Jonathan looks at her and calmly says, "OK. I'll explain the vibrator ï¿½.you explain our children." (XXX#133) Death wishes Even though it was Issy and Yettaï¿½s 40th wedding anniversary, they still had their inevitable, regular quarrel. Only this time, it was more serious than ever before. Issy shouted, "When you die, Yetta, I'm going to get you a headstone which says, 'Here Lies Yetta - Cold As Ever.'" "Oh yes?" she replied, "When you die, Issy, I'm going to get you a headstone which says, 'Here Lies Issy - Stiff At Last.'" (XXX#114) Secret of life? Issy and Sadie are celebrating their wedding anniversary in a small country pub. Issy leans over and says, "Do you remember, Sadie, the first time we made love together over fifty years ago?

We went behind this pub where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you." "Oh yes," Sadie replies, "I remember it very well." "So how about you and I taking a stroll round the back and doing it again for old times sake?" says Issy. "Oooooooh Issy, that sounds like a good idea," she answers and off they go. On the next table, Sam has heard this and says to himself, "I've got to see this - two elderly people making love against a fence." So he follows them. Issy and Sadie walk along together, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. When they get to the fence, Sadie turns around and as she hangs onto the fence, Issy moves in. Suddenly they erupt into action. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for ages with Sadie yelling, "Ohhhh God," and Issy hanging on to her for dear life. Finally, they both collapse onto the ground. When they recover, Issy and Sadie struggle to their feet.

Sam, still watching, thinks, "That was truly amazing, I must ask them what their secret is." As Issy and Sadie make their way back past him, Sam says, "That was something else, you must have been making love for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?" "No, there's no secret" Issy replies, "Fifty years ago that fence wasn't electrified." All the above jokes are Copyright © 2001-2010 David Minkoff . They must not be copied or circulated but only used for your special occasion Long Marriage: Couples Married More Than 30 Years (PHOTOS) | The Huffington Post Long Marriage: Couples Married More Than 30 Years (PHOTOS) 07/24/2012 07:20 am ET | Updated Jul 24, 2012 1.1k Despite the "gray divorce" story being told in news reports and over lunches, the idea of a long marriage isn't completely obsolete.

"Of course, every marriage has its waves of ups and downs," said Marlo Thomas when speaking of her 32-year long marriage to Phil Donahue . "But every couple has their own unique set of challenges, and all of them have to find their own way to keep their marriage strong and the romance alive." Finding that balance and maintaining a long marriage is rare in Hollywood, and Huff/Post50 has highlighted a few celebrity couples who have made it last for more than 25 years . But what about couples away from the flashing lights and media scrutiny of La La Land? Couples like Chris and Gary Hills: "My husband [and] I just returned from Italy after celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary on June 26," Chris Hills shared. "I love that everyone told us we must've been 5 when we got married! I still think he's the most handsome man on earth!" The Hills and several other couples married more than 30 years shared photos of their wedding day and where they are today. Have you been married more than 30 years? Send your own before-and-after pics to sayitonhuffpost50@huffingtonpost.com and we'll add you to the honorees!

Married Couples: Then And Now Married Couples: Then And Now 1 10 Romantic Wedding Anniversary Ideas For Couples - Cheap But Unique I hope you have fun! I also met my husband while working for a resort. Mhossey Were in nashville, and thinking about coming to Atlanta actually! What are some great things to do and recommended from an “insider”? Casey Slide If you like to be active, I suggest doing some hiking. Stone Mountain is great because you can get a view of all of Atlanta. Plus there are some fun activities at the park. There is also some great hiking north of the city at the beginning of the Appalachian Trail. In the city of Atlanta, I love getting lunch at the SunDial Restaurant! It’s on the top of the Westin hotel, and it’s best to go for lunch so you can every (plus it’s cheaper then). Carol D. Durante Awesome! Charlotte I love option number 5: Do Something New I’ve really found that the most perfect use for Groupon activities is for anniversary or valentine’s day presents! A friend mentioned that she’d gotten one for drag car racing for her boyfriend’s birthday and I just thought that was so creative and cute.

I’ve seen really great ones since then for hydrobiking, jet skis, bikes, etc.! Casey Slide Great idea! To be honest, I usually delete those emails every morning, but your idea gives me a reason to open them up and take a look at them. Thanks! Orpah Thanks a million times for these ideas, our second wedding anniversary is coming on September o4, so we thought of buying new and durable finger rings, and mark the event with this, but we do not any ideas of doing this. would you please help us how we should to do it. i will be very greatful Iamsam All of these ideas are LAME!!! brittany my one year anniversary is tomorrow. yes last minute. i work evenings at my job and my husband comes home after i’m already gone. he told me to wake him up when i get home from work. what is something i can do than? Casey Slide You can leave some notes around the house for when he gets home. Hope you get something figured out! Lucrecia Mendez Tomorrow will be my 18th wedding anniversary and I really love idea # 3, creating our own photo shoot at some of our favorite places.

Thanks for the ideas Kelly Gines I love this idea. This company will take your wedding photo and sketch your wedding gown. They will even do the tux and bouquet. This framed piece of art is a romantic gift. I found this at My Dreamlines. Lori Baker My husband gave me a wedding dress sketch too! He used My Dreamlines too! I give this as gifts now!! RV What would you suggest for something fun, excited & romantic to do in Charlotte NC for 18th anniversary? Steve Roberts White water rafting at the Olympic Center… fun, safe… junemvc Love the article! Thanks for sharing your ideas :). Will be sharing them via our FB channel! Turn your emails into a beautiful book using Memeoirs’ web application too! mariajlandreth as Thelma explained I cannot believe that a stay at home mom can make $7420 in four weeks on the internet . more info here R­e­x­1­0­.­C­O­M­ virginiacferguson my buddy’s sister makes $87 every hour on the internet .

She has been unemployed for 6 months but last month her payment was $19402 just working on the internet for a few hours. go right here M­o­n­e­y­d­u­t­i­e­s­.­C­O­M­ gladyswray Peyton . true that Jessica `s blurb is shocking, last monday I got a gorgeous Peugeot 205 GTi after having earned $6860 this past 4 weeks an would you believe ten-k this past-month . with-out a doubt this is the easiest-job I’ve ever had . I actually started six months/ago and pretty much immediately started to bring in minimum $84… p/h . Read More Here C­a­s­h­f­i­g­.­C­O­M­ KevinWasHere These are very romantic for couples! I wanted to add on to #8 regarding thoughtful gifts, giving her the box of luxurious underwear from “The Enclosed”. You can personalize, decide how many months you want to send, and make yourself look like a hero! DSmith LOVE #3 idea of a photo shoot.

Our 30th wedding anniversary is in 8 weeks and like most people we are living pay check to pay check. But what a great idea of revisiting the most memorable places of our 30 years together! Our children are 27 & 28 and what a great scrap book it will be to pass on to them and our grandchildren. Thanks for such a simple but GREAT idea !!! samarht thank you for nice info about wedding anniversary ideas Ray S What do you do on your anniversary if you think you’re headed for divorce? We’ll be celebrating our 1st year soon and things are not going well. I still want to show her I love her but don’t even know what to do … mya maybe something simple then.like roses and a small gift . nothing to big or fancy. Steve Roberts If it’s really relevant to the relationship, sure, but that sounds like a cop out… way too easy and requires no thought. Sarah Do something that reminds both of you why you married and over each other in the first place- it can be simple, do you have a silly inside joke? Make a card of it. Or plan a movie night with your favorite movie.

Or recreate the first date as suggested- go back to where it all started. Good luck! Cheryl Hynds Did you celebrate your anniversary yet? How are things going? Maybe write her a poem or just a letter expressing your feelings for her than make her a romantic candle light dinner, maybe some wine. And dont forget to remind her why you two fell in love in the first place. This does not only have to be for anniversary. Njp Thompson that’s your problem right there.

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Question: If you were celebrating your pearl wedding anniversary for how many years have you been married?
Answer: 30