My Family (TV Series 2000–2011) - IMDb IMDb There was an error trying to load your rating for this title. Some parts of this page won't work property. Please reload or try later. X Beta I'm Watching This! Keep track of everything you watch; tell your friends. Error Comedy about Ben, a dentist, and his family. They don't exactly get along well. Creator: When Susan finds that Janey doesn't trust her, she lets her have a teenage party alone while she is in Oxford with Ben. However the two lose confidence and return, only to be trapped in their bedroom... 8.9 It's Christmas at the Harpers, Janey comes home with a gift for the holidays, and Nick has an idea for a holiday business. 8.6 Susan wants a burglar alarm. Nick wants to become a stripper.

8.6 a list of 32 titles created 10 Sep 2011 a list of 22 titles created 12 Feb 2012 a list of 43 titles created 06 Feb 2013 a list of 45 titles created 07 Apr 2013 a list of 49 titles created 23 Dec 2015 Search for " My Family " on Amazon.com Connect with IMDb Title: My Family (2000–2011) 7.6/10 Want to share IMDb's rating on your own site? Use the HTML below. You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. 6 wins & 11 nominations. See more awards » Photos A boisterous female minister comes to serve in an eccentricly conservative small town's church. Stars: Dawn French, James Fleet, Trevor Peacock A part-improvised comedy about a couple bringing up their three young children.

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Stars: Harry Hill, Steve Benham, Brian Belo Two teams, lead by their team leader (either Lee Mack or David Mitchell), have to try and make the other team believe their crazy stories. Stars: David Mitchell, Lee Mack, Rob Brydon 19 September 2000 (UK) See more » Also Known As: A Minha Família See more » Filming Locations: Between the first and second series, the house design and layout change massively. See more » Quotes (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews My Family is the most popular British sitcom of the last decade with millions ignoring the snide remarks and put downs from critics and enjoying the misadventures of the Harper Family. Robert Lindsay and Zoe Wannamaker carry the show with ease and are supported by and large with great writing. Daniella Denby Ashe and Gabriel Thomson also deserve credit having been a part of the show since it began. Not every episode is a classic and some of the newer characters brought in like Roger and Alfie have had limited success. The show although still has its moments but has never really recovered from the departure of Kris Marshall as Nick.

The idiot son stole the show in the first few years and I think if fans of the show had a wish it would be for him to return to the family nest. 3 of 5 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes My Family (TV Series 2000-2011) — The Movie Database (TMDb) 6.4 Overview My Family is a British sitcom created and initially co-written by Fred Barron, which was produced by DLT Entertainment and Rude Boy Productions, and broadcast by BBC One for eleven series between 2000 and 2011, with Christmas specials broadcast from 2002 onwards. My Family was voted 24th in the BBC's "Britain's Best Sitcom" in 2004 and was the most watched sitcom in the United Kingdom in 2008. As of 2011, it is one of only twelve British sitcoms to pass the 100 episode mark.

Set in Chiswick in west London, it stars Robert Lindsay as Ben Harper, Zoë Wanamaker as his wife Susan, and Kris Marshall, Daniela Denby-Ashe and Gabriel Thomson as their children; Nick, Janey and Michael, respectively. Since the show’s debut, several characters have left and, equally, several new characters have been introduced. The character of Janey left in 2002; however, she returned in 2004 and remained until the end. Kris Marshall’s character, Nick, left in 2005 and did not return. The character of Abi, as played by Siobhan Hayes, was introduced in 2002 and left in 2008. The characters of Roger and Alfie were introduced in 2003 and 2005, respectively, as played by Keiron Self and Rhodri Meilir. Find out where to watch this on Featured Crew Season 11 2011 | 11 Episodes The fortunes of the Harpers are certainly up and down in this series.

Susan and Janey go head-to-head for an exciting job in TV; Susan ends up being a Facecrook; Michael’s & Janey’s anniversary gift backfires.… Plus Kenzo outsmarts Ben, and Janey, much to Michael’s annoyance, becomes friendly with his new boyfriend, Matt. Meanwhile at work, Susan learns how to deal with a young lecher, and then decides it’s time to ‘Cavitox’! When Susan's father turns up out of the blue offering £2 million to buy her out of her marriage to Ben, is divorce on the cards? And will Roger’s Jollies manage to win the darts final? My Family Fan Reviews & Ratings - TV.com The best British sit-com. By far. 8.6 By kor3y_g , Aug 09, 2008 My Family follows the day-to-day foibles of the Harpers, a British family of five. There's Ben, the dentist who seems to loathe his life and family. Susan, his tour-guide wife who prides herself on her open mind and is an awful cook but doesn't let it hinder her culinary style. Janey is the fashion magazine-reading, self-admittedly shallow teenage daughter.

In season 4, Janey goes to college and is replaced by the vacuous Abi, Ben's cousin's daughter, for just as much fun. Michael is the youngest son, who seems to be the brightest of the bunch. All of them are funny but the character who really shines, is the oldest son, Nick. Every scene with Nick is comic genius; from his quest to make money through various schemes and an assortment of jobs to his seeming inability to be troubled by anything. The writing is good, with a variety of entertaining stories. I'm watching re-runs so there are many I have yet to see but I've found every episode that I have seen amusing. The actors are well-suited to their roles and all do a fantastic job. There are a few running gags as well, including Nick's quest for the perfect job, as mentioned. I highly recommend checking it out if you can. The show is episodic enough that one can start watching at any point. DO YOU AGREE?

9.7 By cutebabe707 , May 01, 2008 I think My Family is one of the best TV shows in the history of comedy.The characters, the storylines and the actors and actresses are just so amazingly funny, I can't stop laughing at them. Michael Harper (Gabriel Thomson) is my personal favourite as a character as watching My Family a long long time I have seen him grow from a child to young adult in the most hilarious way possible. I have got to give a thumbs up to the writers and the producers for making such a brilliant show and it should never stop being made. Always a personal favourite in my book. DO YOU AGREE? This is a show which everyone should watch 9.5 By vicky24c , Apr 15, 2008 This TV shows, started back in 2000 and ever since I first watched it, it has become one of my favourite shows which the BBC have ever made. "My Family" follows the day-to-day foibles of the Harpers, a British family of five. There's Ben (Robert Lindsay), the dentist who seems to loathe his life and family.

Susan (Zoë Wanamaker), his tour-guide wife who prides herself on her open mind and is an awful cook but doesn't let it hinder her culinary style. Janey (Daniela Denby-Ashe) is the fashion magazine-reading, self-admittedly shallow teenage daughter. (In season 4, Janey goes to college and is replaced by the vacuous Abi (Siobhan Hayes), Ben's cousin's daughter, for just as much fun). Michael (Gabriel Thomson) is the youngest son, who seems to be the brightest of the bunch. All of them are funny but the character who really shines, is the oldest son, Nick (Kris Marshall). Every scene with Nick is comic genius; from his quest to make money through various schemes and an assortment of jobs to his seeming inability to be troubled by anything. The writing is good, with a variety of entertaining stories. I'm watching re-runs so there are many I have yet to see but I've found every episode that I have seen amusing. The actors are well-suited to their roles and all do a fantastic job.

There are a few running gags as well, including Nick's quest for the perfect job, as mentioned, and some Harry Potter references that have popped up since Zoë Wanamaker appeared in the first Potter film. DO YOU AGREE? Meet The Harper Family, Ben,Susan,Janey,Michael,Abi & Roger. 10 By xCeeCeex2007 , Apr 14, 2008 The Harpers Are Not Your Everyday Kind Of Family, They Are All Quite Mad But Funny Too! Ben: He's A Dentist, But Wants To Be A Doctor, When He Can't Deal With Something, He'll Call On His Wife Susan To Help Out. Ben Dreams Of A Day When All The Children Will Leave Home. Susan: Wife Of Ben, She's A Museum Tour Guide, Second Passion Being Cooking. She Always Gets Her Own Way! Janey: Oldest Child And Your Average Teenager Who Has A Child Courtesy Of A One Night Stand At Uni, She's Spoilt And A Lot Like Susan. Michael: Smartest One Out Of All Of Them (Apparently) And Thinks He Is Being Psychologically Scarred By The Family's Mad Behaviour.

Abi: Ben's Cousin's Child, She's A Blonde And Is A Bit Thick, She And Roger Get On Well. Roger: Works In The Room Above Ben's At The Dentist, He Is Annoying And Ben's Rival. Overall, Great Show! A family that is very disoganized and have weird events 10 By Idontsayyaowzaa , Sep 03, 2007 Basicly there is a family called the Harper family it consists of 3 kids Nick, Janie and "Mikey" Harper. But in the more resent episodes Nick leaves!! and a new person comes their relitive Abby and she lives with them so she took over from Nick. The dad (Ben) is a dentist and he has a rival in dentistry Rogger!!! The strange thing is Rogger likes Ben but Ben dosen't like Rogger at all. Also Rogger is a good dentist and Ben is not The mom (susan) is a tour guide but like Ben not good at all (shes also a bad cook) DO YOU AGREE? a great show that you wouldn't expect to see on PBS its great for the whole family and addresses universality while still maintaining a hilarious base.

10 By aguaminte77 , Jul 05, 2007 I love this show, its at a perfect time and my entire family watches it and its one of my favorite, i love that Zoë Wanamaker( she is what first turned me onto the show because of her role as madam hooch in harry potter and the sorcerer's stone)is on this show and i think that all of the people really come together and make this a great show. I was really surprised to see a lot of the things that go on in this show because its PBS but that makes it even better. My favorite character is Michael because he is my same age and is going though a lot of the same things i am while still having to come home to an insane family(another similarity). i really enjoy the humor of this show. DO YOU AGREE? By BronzeAge , May 07, 2007 This show rocks. I'll keep it short..and sweet. I love this show because it follows a dysfunctional family and I for one know that I can relate to it as my family is quite dysfunctional, as are many families!

It either keeps getting better or it stays brilliant, I never find it gets worse. I find this show a definite watch when I feel depressed and it will always make me smile or laugh. The sarcasm in it is also so funny, so much sarcasm, mainly from the father, and the way they all argue and are so strange is hilarious. Watch it, its great!!! 6.8 By da_dunker , May 06, 2007 "My Family" follows the day-to-day foibles of the Harpers, a British family of five. There's Ben (Robert Lindsay), the dentist who seems to loathe his life and family. Susan (Zoë Wanamaker), his tour-guide wife who prides herself on her open mind and is an awful cook but doesn't let it hinder her culinary style. Janey (Daniela Denby-Ashe) is the fashion magazine-reading, self-admittedly shallow teenaged daughter. (In season 4, Janey goes to college and is replaced by the vacuous Abi (Siobhan Hayes), Ben's cousin's daughter, for just as much fun).

Michael (Gabriel Thomson) is the youngest son, who seems to be the brightest of the bunch. All of them are funny but the character who really shines, is the oldest son, Nick (Kris Marshall). Every scene with Nick is comic genius; from his quest to make money through various schemes and an assortment of jobs to his seeming inability to be troubled by anything. The writing is good, with a variety of entertaining stories. I'm watching re-runs so there are many I have yet to see but I've found every episode that I have seen amusing. The actors are well-suited to their roles and all do a fantastic job. There are a few running gags as well, including Nick's quest for the perfect job, as mentioned, and some Harry Potter references that have popped up since Zoë Wanamaker appeared in the first Potter film. Since I've mentioned it, I might add that under other circumstances, Gabriel Thomson could easily have played Harry himself. I'd highly recommend checking it out if you can. The show's episodic enough that one can start watching at any point. DO YOU AGREE? It gives you a laugh.

8.5 By FamilyGuyGary , Apr 07, 2007 It isn't exactly great, but it's a good show for a luagh. I don't much like the newer seasons, I prefer the first season with Nick. I always used to watch this show when I was younger, it was the funniest show ever back then, well for a while it was. I don't mind the newer seasons, the dentist is funny and the girl who moved in with the family is funny also, a bit like that women from Friends. Overall this is an entertaining show, and I loved it when I was little. It gives you a good laugh for a night in. DO YOU AGREE? 8.3 By Olie1993 , Apr 01, 2007 My Faimily isn't as good as it used to ge.It's only quite funny nowadays.It used to be hilarious.How much screwed up stuff could go down in a realistic way,to a regular family[if you can call it that] It's hard to like Micheal lately and where the hell has Nic gone?But you like the weird lodger called Alfie.He's an ammusing and new character.

But the best character is Ben,he is always screwing things up for the whole family.You feel he doesn't know how luckey he is to have Susan as a wife. My Family is an easily lovable British sitcom.Youwill laugh at least once at every episode. DO YOU AGREE? This show really takes the phrase 'dysfunctional family' to new heights. It's an amazing mix of characters/stories weaved together seamlessly in a rollicking good time. Just love it! 10 By JadeNF , Mar 15, 2007 If you want to see a dysfunctional family that still manage to make life together bearable and are able to do so with lots of love, laughter and quirky situations, this is the show for you. Every character adds new dimensions to the comedy and beneath every laugh out loud funny scenario, there's a real lesson to be learned. It's such an easy story to lose yoursef in. It's the perfect end to a crazy day and don't be surprised if you see yourself in one or more characters. My Family constantly reminds me why I love English comedy so much! It's spectacular! DO YOU AGREE? A positive note to any good and bad day!

10 By torlight , Jan 30, 2007 If you are looking for a show that will cheer you up, look no further! My family is bright, light, simple, relaxing and hilarious. You will get closer to the recommended number of daily true laughters by watching it. Although all the characters have been very well chosen for the show, two members of the Harper family will really give a a good giggle: . - Ben, he is a wonder of cynicism, patience and diplomatie toward his wife and his profession ; - Nick, a genius in creative job hunting/laziness, to the dispair of both his parents. His lines are always unexpected and so clever! The way the plots develop is sometimes quite transparent, but the real treasure lies in the characters' reactions to the chain of events, as well as in the little actions they do that are just not related to the plot. Brilliant! All in all, this is a extremely well written show that pricks just where it makes you laugh, explores the most embarassing situations without ever irritating you, au contraire. DO YOU AGREE?

10 By blinkfan01 , Jul 11, 2006 personally i love this show. it ia halarious. my favorite character is nice. he is so funny. his stupidedy reminds me of some things i would do.( as sad as the sounds). this is one of my personall favorites. i watch it any time that its on. im not sure if it is on dvd but if it is im deffinitly going to buy it because its so fuuny. the characters susan and ben work so well together. it is the perfact mix of comedy. the charecters work perfactly. my least favorite charecter is abby. it felt like she was trying to replace the charecter of nick. but great show. DO YOU AGREE? 10 By wynkz , Apr 18, 2006 Hmmm, the Harper family. I personally think that Ben and Susan are the funniest couple I have seen on telly in ages. The children are just as funny but the parents come top of the poll. Ben a dentist, who desperatly tries to understand his children and fails miserably everytime.

It is really funny to watch which is why they call it comedy I suppose (duh). Every member of the family is unique in their own little way, and as much as they argue and snipe at each other, deep down (somewhere) they are a close knit family who would do anything for each other. Michael is the brainier one of all the kids and it has me in stitches when he out smarts Ben, which is all the time really. The comments that Ben and Susan throw at each other are brilliant and no matter how many times you watch it, you will always find it funny. DO YOU AGREE? One of the best comedies ever! 10 By traci1002 , Mar 13, 2006 I discovered My Family just a short time ago yet it quickly became a 'must see' show! The interaction of all the characters makes this the closest to a live action version of "The Simpsons" that has ever been made.

Susan and Ben are completely believable as the old married couple who, despite the snarky comments to each other, truly would do anything for each other and their children, Nick, Janie and Michael are the perfect example of how not all children turn out the same even though they have the same parents! The actors are brilliant and the humor never gets old no matter how many times you watch the same episode! DO YOU AGREE? this was a christmas show gone just plain weird! 10 By lauren-maclean , Dec 24, 2005 omg i thought i was going to keel over with laughter when i stumbled across this show last night...

i just happened to leave the tv on after watching 15/love and when i came back in the room, i couldnt take my eyes off the screen...it is one of the funniest shows i have seen in a long time...i watched the \"ding dong merrily\" episode and my favourite part was all the trees in the living room when nick desided to start up his business of selling cut cristmas trees for next years christmas...and then at the end when the family came back from the pub to discover that they had been robbed and the mom says \"the furniture!\", the dad says\"the tele!\", and nick no being the brightest bulb in the package says \"they\'ve taken mr. bradley!\" it was the funniest thing ever! its a great show and i plan on watching it again! DO YOU AGREE? This is the best BBC comedy shown for awhile and I am left stranded in hilarity with it... 10 By citybug , Dec 10, 2005 Although I only got into My Family about a month ago, I've made it my quest to see most of the episodes; which I have completed.

I have found this to be one of the funniest shows on BBC, or even all of television. The comedy is witty, original, and pure. The timing of jokes and chemistry between the characters is superb; in that it has been awhile since I have seen these kinds of comedy stylings. By far, the best actors are Robert Lindsay and Zoë Wanamaker since they are the foundation for comedy. Their bickering nature leads to conflicts with much comedy and yield many short but hysterical zingers. However, I find that Robert Lindsay is the centre of the show with his "straight man" role as the patriarch of a crazy family he can't control. The children are also great actors and his meddling "apprentice" dentist (if you'd like to call it) and the daughter of a man who is constantly marrying and divorcing. The show will automatically hook you in but do not be afraid of it for being British. You may not get one or two jokes a Brit might get, but you'll sure to get all the family jokes which is the most prevalent. DO YOU AGREE? A disfunctional family that always attract the viewers.

8.0 By HNTV , Aug 31, 2005 My Family is a relatively new situation comedy that was desperately needed by the BBC. Towards the end of the 1990's, situation comedies were on the thin side, Only Fools and Horses had gone and 2 Point 4 Children had made an abbrubt finish when the leading actor died. But My Family have gone on from 2 Point 4 Children and made the family even more disfunctional. And what makes the show so popular is that families are all too disfunctional today and can easily relate to what's going on around them. The mother (Susan) with her awful 'cooking, Father (Ben) who hates his kids and wife, but likes the sex, they both hate the mother-in-law, so do their kids, oldest son Nick's an idiot, as is constantly reminded, only daughter gets pregnant and refuses to say who the father is and loves shopping (usng father's credit cards) and of course the brains of the family, michael.

As characters have left, Nick and the daughter, new characters, equally as dim have been brought in, including Ben's Dentist chum and a distant relative of whom i've frogotten how she arrived. But the show has continued to be a great success and will remain so as long as the family don't grow up and leave the nest, which, of course will eventually happen, but all comedies must come to an end, hopefully no time soon. DO YOU AGREE? The best post-2000 British sitcom, surely 9.4 By Wezzo2005 , Jul 29, 2005 In an era when reality TV domaintes, most of us are thankful when we switch on to BBC1 on a Saturday night to find a classic Only Fools and Horses episode. But sometimes, an OFAH classic won't do - new comedy is wanted - and that's where My Family comes in.

It's the perfect sitcom for the family; the characters are all hilarious (particaulrly in the first two series, before Abi) with their own unique traits - who doesn't love Nick's laziness, Michael's smartalec-iness and Ben's disgruntledness; the plots are well-constructed; and the writing is top-notch, up there with the best. the show relies on healthy mix of visual and verbal humour, and it works very well. Despite the odd mediocre episode, this is modern Britcom at its' very best, back in the setting where it belongs: the dysfunctional family home. Highly recommended. A great light British comedy. 8.0 By ShadowGhoul442 , Jul 27, 2005 My Family is a fresh new comedy to BBC. It follows the problems of a 'disaster' family, whose members don't always get on. Ben, the father, cannot wait for his children to leave home and his wife, Susan, is the nagging lady of the house. Nick, the dopey teenager, is always looking for a job whilst Michael is excelling at school.

Janey the eldest daughter is leaving for college, and has always got a boy nearby. Abi, who joins them in season 3, is a distant relative whose cleverness only rivals a carrot. The chemistry between these characters provides many laughs, and many sticky situations! Although the 'one-liners' in the program are not strong, the characters themselves make up for them. This is a perfect British comedy to watch on a Sunday night, but not one to get hooked on. DO YOU AGREE? My Family, BBC One, review - Telegraph TV and Radio My Family, BBC One, review Ed Cumming finds little to laugh at in the first episode of the final series of BBC One's long-running sitcom. The cast of My Family Photo: BBC Follow Even when My Family was good, it was still very bad. Back in September 2000, when it came stumbling out of the BBC light entertainment laboratory (a place I imagine to be a kind of cross between Madame Tussaud's and Asda) in the same week that the Sydney Olympics opened, it was lazily written but affable in an end-of-the-pier kind of way.

Robert Lindsay and Zoe Wanamaker had chemistry as Ben and Susan Harper, the married parents of three dysfunctional children in Chiswick, but the stuff that spewed from their mouths seemed to have been designed by a committee of old ladies and schoolchildren, mixing slapstick with Christmas cracker puns. Still, it was harmless enough. The rot really set in when Kris Marshall left in 2005. Playing eldest son Nick, he had been the most watchable thing about the programme by a yard, occasionally able to spin the woollen script into threads of comic gold. If you are a producer, I think it pays to be suspicious when someone leaves your primetime BBC One sitcom in order to pursue a career in adverts for British Telecom. Not any old adverts, either, but some of the most cloying commercials in recent television history (Why is this man so obsessed with his mother? Why would any woman marry him?). Since then the programme has hauled itself like a dog on wheels through series after series, growing sadder and more mangy by the episode. At long last - at least five years too late - the BBC has decided to put it to sleep.

"Now that all the Harper children have fled the nest we feel it's time to make room for new comedies", said BBC One controller Nick Cohen, with an impressively straight face. This first episode of the final, 11th series suggested that there will be no ecstatic swoon. Kenzo's father Mark (Alastair Southey) finally decided to make an honest woman of Janey (Daniela Denby-Ashe, and asked Ben for her hand in marriage. Australian Craig (Ben Uttley), meanwhile, asked Susan for the same thing. The parents then each tried to arrange things so that Janey would choose their man. Predictably, she ended up marrying neither. It was all so laboured, so heavy of touch, that it's slightly tiring going over it again to write about it. I laughed exactly once, when Ben's needy colleague Roger (Keiron Self) interrupted the restaurant-proposal scene with a mariachi band, but even that was empty, the sort of false cough you make when a loathed colleague complains about the weather.

Related Articles My Family - Wikiquote My Family My Family (2000–2011) is a BBC sitcom created by Fred Barron and starring Robert Lindsay and Zoë Wanamaker . Contents This page needs editing to sort the quotes into episodes. If you know which episode a quote belongs to, please help wikiquote by editing that section. Series 1 (2000)[ edit ] The Serpent's Tooth[ edit ] Nick is chatting online to a girl who, in Janey's opinion, sounds too good to be true Nick: She's French, she's called Isabelle, she's a swimwear model, and her father's the chairman of a major electronics business. Janey: Does the phrase "pull the other one" mean anything to you? Nick: (grins) Ah, you think she's got a sister? Ben notices a repair in one of Susan's teeth Ben: You've been seeing another dentist! A Pain in the Class[ edit ] Ben is trying to encourage Michael to stand up to the school bully Ben: Come on! Scare me! Try and put me down!

Michael: You're losing your hair, you're getting turkey neck , and the only reason you're a dentist is you failed to get into medical school! Susan: If you had been a more organised person, maybe you could've been a doctor by now! Ben: If you'd have been five inches taller, blonde, with long legs, you could've been a doctor's wife by now! Droit de Seigneur Ben[ edit ] Janey: Dad, I'm not a vir...er...y naive person! The Last Resort[ edit ] Ben: Oh my God, not again. Chloe: Those old people are swingers. Susan: Swingers? As in Glenn Miller, or as in Glenn Miller, his wife and the rest of his band? Farewell to Alarms[ edit ] The new alarm system is causing too many problems Susan: They say it's there for our protection. Ben: Protection from what? I've almost broken my bloody neck on the staircase, I've got a son who's deaf, I've got a son in a coma, and a daughter as ugly as sin!

Death and Ben Take a Policy[ edit ] Susan complains about how people are forced to lock up their true emotions Ben: Susan, I'm a dentist. I spend all day listening to how people really feel, and it's usually "Ouch!" and after a long day of "Ouch!", I like to come home to a bit of "Aah..." Ben: (talking to Michael about death) When I was younger, I thought people died because life was unfair. Then you and your brother and sister were born, and I realised life really was unfair. And expensive. The Awkward Phase[ edit ] Ben: Now, my dad... my dad loved to give advice. And I was going out with this girl and I remember he said... he said, "Ben, no matter how beautiful you think she is and no matter how much you're in love with her or perfect she is - if she eats a dodgy piece of fish, she'll end up chucking her guts up like the rest of us!" Janey: I wish I was dead! Susan: Janey! How can you say that? "I wish I *were* dead." The subjunctive.

Boys are more impressed by good grammar than tight jeans, you know. Much Ado about Ben[ edit ] Susan: [identifying who has called her, crying] Oh, Doreen. My yoga teacher, poor thing. While she was becoming one with the universe, her husband was becoming one with an accounts manager from Croydon. Series 2 (2001)[ edit ] All Roads Lead to Ramon[ edit ] Ben and Susan discuss Janey's habit of going out with boy after boy for her own benefit Susan: She'll grow out of it. Ben: I should hope so. Susan: I did. Ben: I should bloody hope so. Nick appears at the house with a tour group Nick: Here we have a typical English home, the family seat of the Harper dynasty. And here we have a typical English man. Hey, Dad! As you can see he's taken the day off to slob around in his dressing gown. There's the telly and there's his banana sandwich. Some of you may be interested to know that he's just had a big falling out with his daughter, after he called her a prostitute.

The Unkindest Cut[ edit ] Susan announces that she may be pregnant Ben: Well, at least that proves there is a God...and He hates me! Ben's patient is pregnant. She and the new assistant are very excited Patient: We're all ready for our little bundle of joy! Ben: Bundle of joy. You two haven't a clue what you're talking about, have you? Susan Harper: For little girls get bigger every day... Ben Harper: Grow up then. Trust Never Sleeps[ edit ] Janey is holding a house party in her parents' absence. Ben has returned to check up on them Ben: (To Susan) Come on, don't fight it. This could be your only chance to find out what your kids get up to when you're not there. What's the harm in one little look? You know you want to... Death and Ben Take a Holiday[ edit ] Ben knocks on Nick's hotel room Nick: I was expecting someone else. Ben: So was I, but your mother swears you're ours.

Driving Miss Crazy[ edit ] Ben is moaning about his neighbour, who recently lost his wife, and his new dog Ben: I mean, if I popped my clogs, would you replace me with a pet? Susan: No pet could replace you. Except perhaps a bad-tempered ferret. No one thinks Ben is the right person to take Janey driving Ben: What a splendid family. I've got a daughter who thinks I'm a joke, a son who thinks I'm demented, a wife who doesn't support me and a...(looks at Nick) pillock. Nick: Look on the bright side, Dad. At least it took your mind off Mr Casey. Ben: Oh, yes. Mr Casey! Mr Casey! (exit) Susan: (looks at Nick) You pillock! I Second That Emulsion[ edit ] The Age of Romance[ edit ] Nick: Dad, have you seen the car keys lately? Ben: No. Nick: (holds up the keys and jingles them in his face) Well, take a good look. I won't be back till late! Ben: Don't even bother to try and make love to me tonight! Ben switches light out and turns his back on Susan.

She sits there patiently Ben: ...You're not gonna bother, are you? Susan: Don't eat that! You'll ruin your dinner. Ben: I thought that was your job. Susan: No, my job is to ruin your life. 'Tis a Pity She's a Whore[ edit ] Whose turn is it to visit Susan's mother? Michael: I went to see her last time she was dying. Nick: I'll go next time. Janey: And what happens if she really is dying? Nick: (grins) Then I win! Susan: The motto on your family crest should read: "Mediocrity or Death". Ben: Well, it's better than "For a Good Time, Call"! The Last Supper[ edit ] Susan's new boss, the rotund American Scott Taylor, has come round for dinner. Ben and Susan have to cater for his every need Ben: Coffee. To make you feel at home, Scott, yours has been stewed, reheated and served in a plastic cup. Scott: No coffee for me. I feel sick. Your wife has triggered my acid reflux. Ben: I know, I know. Isn't she marvellous?

Susan is in a confessional talking to a priest about her boss's death Reverend: You can't argue someone to death. Susan: Yes you can. Michael types as Ben dictates Ben: "Dr Nk, u r f'd." Of Mice and Ben[ edit ] Abi wants to feature Ben and Susan in her film project Ben: I am not having people witness my life. It's bad enough that I have to see it. Ben: (on camera) I know you might not want to use this in your little film, but I just want to put the record straight...she asked me to marry her. Susan and Ben are in a hotel bar, pretending to be strangers Susan: (under her breath) You're late. Ben: (under his breath) How do you know? You've not met me yet. Susan has caught the attention of an older man Susan: You don't understand. I don't want to! Raymond: Ah, but your eyes say "Yes". Susan: Yours will be saying "Ow" in a minute. The Second Greatest Story Ever Told[ edit ] Artistic differences Susan: So is Jesus Christ Superstar , but it didn't stop Lloyd Webber from adding guitars!

Director: For the fifth time, you're not going to sing! Waiting to Inhale[ edit ] Susan has found a joint in Michael's room Susan: I'm going to confront him with this and give him a piece of my mind! Ben: I think you've lost enough of it already...which means: let me talk to him. Susan: You?! Ben: Yeah. Let's at least let him grow some goolies before you lop 'em off. Michael: I'm going to be a Tory Prime Minister. I don't need any hippy baggage in my past. Ben: So what were you doing at that girl's house, then? Michael: I didn't go for illicit drugs; I went for illicit sex. Ben: You are a Tory! A Handful of Dust[ edit ] Ben and Susan are discussing Janey's new friend, Kate, who is a lesbian Susan: There are many notable lesbians in history. Catherine the Great . Ben: Name says it all. Ben: Wonderful voice. Sharon Simpson. Susan: Who's she? Ben: One of my patients. Lovely teeth. Nick: Oh, no!

My worst nightmare: two lesbians sharing a bed in my house, and one of them's my sister! Janey: I'm not gay. Ben: Well that about takes the biscuit doesn't it? How dare you not be gay. Good God! You put us through anxiety, anger, confusion, doubt, anger... Susan: You said anger. Ben: I was angry twice. Until we finally reach tolerance and acceptance, and you tell us you're not gay. My own daughter! I feel betrayed! The Lost Weekend[ edit ] Nick: I'm doing The Knowledge . Ben: You haven't even passed The Ignorance. Michael and Abi have just finished dinner when Ben walks in Michael: There might be some burnt cheese stuck to the lid. You snooze, you lose. Ben: No, I win! (holds up bag) Yes, it's Chinese Takeaway time! Oh yes! Oh, look at this! Chicken with cashew nuts, spring rolls, capital spare ribs. My favourite. And it's followed closely by the ever-loved rice. It's alright, Michael; you can lick the lids. Michael: You mean to say you got takeaway and you didn't even consult your kids.

Ben: (smiling broadly) Yeah. Nick: Is that Chinese takeaway? Ben: No, it's Chinese keep-away. Nick arrives dressed as an exorcist, and sees Ben asleep on the sofa Nick: What putrefaction is this? Michael, holy water. (takes a spray bottle) Music. (plays Tubular Bells ) Be thou not afraid! (sprays Ben) Ben: (to Abi) You, you're unhinged! (to Michael) You, you're demented! (to Nick) You, you're just... you! Ben wants to know which cinema Nick drove Susan to Nick: Sorry, Dad. I can't betray a confidence. A cab driver's like a priest. Ben: Twenty quid? Nick: Bless you, my son! One Flew out of the Cuckoo's Nest[ edit ] [Ben discovers his Barry White record is broken] Susan: I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Ben: Yes there is. Nick! Susan: How do you know? Ben: It's a fact of life that my property plus broken always equals, NICK! Ding Dong Merrily[ edit ] Ben: I didn't know she was there. I thought it was you.

Susan: Oh... Ben, that's... that's... that's terrible! (begins laughing) And funny at the same time. Ben: It is not funny! Susan: Oh, come on, it's a little bit funny. Ben: Susan, I– we very nearly became a Greek tragedy! Susan: Look, look, I don't want her here any more than you do, but she's in great pain and can't move. Ben: Are you sure she's not faking it? Susan: I don't know, you tell me. (begins laughing again) Return of the Prodigal Prat[ edit ] Nick: (pulling a container from the refrigerator) Is this lasagne or fish? Michael: What's it smell like? Nick: Fish. Loco Parentis[ edit ] Ben: Susan, admit it. All these years, you have been screwing up the kids. It's me, I've been the perfect parent. The Canary Cage[ edit ] Susan: (speaking on telephone) Oh, hello. Yes, mi nombre es Senora Susan Harper. ¿cómo está usted? Ben: Susan, hello? You're phoning London.

Susan: I know, but, you know, "when in Rome". Ben: We're not in Rome, we're in hell! May the Best Man Win[ edit ] Abi: Hello Juditte Ben: It's Judas!!! It's a Window-Filled Life[ edit ] Ben: (subdued) I've just seen what my family's life would be like, had I never been born. They'd be no different. No difference at all. I've had no effect on anything. Clarence: Wow, that's depressing. Ben: No, it's not. (grins) It's wonderful! Don't you see? They're the crazy ones! I'm off the hook! Sixty Feet Under[ edit ] You Don't Know Jack[ edit ] What's Up, Docklands?[ edit ] Luck be a Lady Tonight[ edit ] First Past the Post[ edit ] My Will Be Done[ edit ] My Fair Charlady[ edit ] While You Weren't Sleeping[ edit ] Dentist to the Stars[ edit ] A Wife Less Ordinary[ edit ] Susan concludes the recreation of her first date with Ben Susan: We just got married! Ben: I still don't want kids.

The Book of Love[ edit ] Glad Tidings We Bring[ edit ] The Erroneous Storm[ edit ] ...And I'll Cry If I Want To[ edit ] (Ben arrives home to find Susan auditioning numerous clowns for Kenzo's third birthday party) Ben Harper: Susan, I though we had a deal that you'd warn me when the inlaws were coming? Susan Harper: Oh, I'm glad your here. I'd like to introduce you to Cheerful Charlie Chortle, Uncle Morris, and The Amazing Beppo. Ben Harper: Well if they're here, who's running the country? Ben Harper: Good God! No wonder Charlie Chortle's chortling, look how much Charlie Chortles charging! Susan Harper: Actually we're not having Charlie Chortle. He's having gall bladder surgery. Ben Harper: Can't the kids watch that? It'll be cheaper and funnier. Series 6 (2006)[ edit ] Ben: What is this masterpiece? Susan: "Shut Up and Be Happy" Ben: Too late; I'm married.

The Spokes Person[ edit ] Let's Not be Heisty[ edit ] Cards on the Table[ edit ] The Wax Job[ edit ] Can't Get No Satisfaction[ edit ] The Abi Habit[ edit ] Have an Unhappy Christmas[ edit ] Susan explains New Year's resolutions to her grandson Susan: They're like promises, where people try and give up their bad habits. Kenzo: Does Grandpa know about this? Who will get Ben and Susan's free holiday to Mauritius? Janey: I think it should be me, because I'm not tragic like you two, and I already have a friend to take: Kenzo. Michael: That's the only way you can get friends; by giving birth to them? Ben is not going to Buckingham Palace with Susan Susan: All I'm asking from you is one lousy day! Ben: I've given you lots of lousy days! Series 9 (2009)[ edit ] Bringing Up Janey[ edit ] A Very Brief Encounter[ edit ] Alfie: When I was a boy, I had an imaginary friend. I was devastated when I found out I had made him up. The Psyche of Mikey[ edit ] A Difficult Undertaking[ edit ]

Question: Which TV sitcom featured Ben and Susan Harper and their three children?
Answer: MY FAMILY