The Merry Wives of Windsor - Act 5, Scene 5 The Merry Wives of Windsor Please see the bottom of this page for related resources. [Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Herne] FALSTAFF The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, a man 5 a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in the form of a beast. O Jove, a beastly fault! And then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think 10 on 't, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here?

my 15 [Enter MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE] MISTRESS FORD Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer? FALSTAFF My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits and snow eringoes; let 20 there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. MISTRESS FORD Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart. FALSTAFF Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. 25 Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within] I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that's in me should set hell on fire; he would never else cross me thus.

35 [ Enter SIR HUGH EVANS, disguised as before; PISTOL, as Hobgoblin; MISTRESS QUICKLY, ANNE PAGE, and others, as Fairies, with tapers ] MISTRESS QUICKLY Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, You moonshine revellers and shades of night, You orphan heirs of fixed destiny, Attend your office and your quality. Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes. 40 Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys. Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap: Where fires thou find'st unraked and hearths unswept, There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry: Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery. 45 They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die: I'll wink and couch: no man their works must eye. [Lies down upon his face] SIR HUGH EVANS Where's Bede?

Go you, and where you find a maid That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said, Raise up the organs of her fantasy; 50 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy: But those as sleep and think not on their sins, Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides and shins. MISTRESS QUICKLY Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out: 55 Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room: That it may stand till the perpetual doom, In state as wholesome as in state 'tis fit, Worthy the owner, and the owner it. The several chairs of order look you scour 60 With juice of balm and every precious flower: Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest, With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!

And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing, Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring: 65 The expressure that it bears, green let it be, More fertile-fresh than all the field to see; And 'Honi soit qui mal y pense' write In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue and white; Let sapphire, pearl and rich embroidery, 70 Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee: Fairies use flowers for their charactery. Away; disperse: but till 'tis one o'clock, Our dance of custom round about the oak Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget. 75 Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, To guide our measure round about the tree. But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth. FALSTAFF Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he 80 transform me to a piece of cheese! PISTOL Vile worm, thou wast o'erlook'd even in thy birth.

MISTRESS QUICKLY With trial-fire touch me his finger-end: If he be chaste, the flame will back descend And turn him to no pain; but if he start, 85 It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. PISTOL Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! 90 About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme; And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. SONG. Fie on lust and luxury! Lust is but a bloody fire, 95 Fed in heart, whose flames aspire As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. Pinch him, fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villany; 100 Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. [ During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes and steals away ANN PAGE. A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away.

FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises ] [Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, and MISTRESS FORD] PAGE Nay, do not fly; I think we have watch'd you now Will none but Herne the hunter serve your turn? MISTRESS PAGE I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher 105 Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives? See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes Become the forest better than the town? FORD Now, sir, who's a cuckold now? Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his 110 horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook. Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will always count you my deer. FALSTAFF I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.

FORD Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant. 120 And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all 125 rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent, when 'tis upon ill employment! Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. 130 And leave your jealousies too, I pray you. FORD I will never mistrust my wife again till thou art able to woo her in good English. FALSTAFF Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, that 135 it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

SIR HUGH EVANS Seese is not good to give putter; your belly is all putter. 140 'Seese' and 'putter'! have I lived to stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm. Why Sir John, do you think, though we would have the 145 virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight? FORD What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? MISTRESS PAGE Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pander: over and above that you have suffered, I think to repay that money 165 will be a biting affliction. PAGE Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her Master Slender hath married her daughter.

170 [Aside] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife. [Enter SLENDER] Whoa ho! ho, father Page! PAGE Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched? SLENDER Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire 175 know on't; would I were hanged, la, else. PAGE I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he 180 should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir!--and 'tis a postmaster's boy. Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. SLENDER What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took 185 a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him. Why, this is your own folly.

Did not I tell you how you should know my daughter by her garments? 190 I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy. MISTRESS PAGE Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is 195 now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married. [Enter DOCTOR CAIUS] Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened. MISTRESS PAGE Why, did you take her in green? 200 Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor. [Exit] This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne? PAGE My heart misgives me: here comes Master Fenton. [Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE] How now, Master Fenton! Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!

205 Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender? MISTRESS PAGE Why went you not with master doctor, maid? FENTON You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. You would have married her most shamefully, Where there was no proportion held in love. 210 The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us. The offence is holy that she hath committed; And this deceit loses the name of craft, Of disobedience, or unduteous title, 215 Since therein she doth evitate and shun A thousand irreligious cursed hours, Which forced marriage would have brought upon her. FORD Stand not amazed; here is no remedy: In love the heavens themselves do guide the state; 220 Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. FALSTAFF I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. PAGE Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy! What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced. 225 When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.

MISTRESS PAGE Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton, Heaven give you many, many merry days! Good husband, let us every one go home, And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire; 230 SCENE V. Another part of the Park. SCENE V. Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised as Herne Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes and steals away ANN PAGE. A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, and MISTRESS FORD SparkNotes: The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act II, Scene i The Merry Wives of Windsor William Shakespeare Act II, Scenes ii-iii Summary Mistress Page reads her letter from Falstaff aloud, quoting sections where he declares that their affinity must lie in their equally advanced age, sense of merriment, and love of wine.

She's astonished that such a fat old knight would try to play the young gallant, considering he barely knows her. She wonders how she can exact revenge on him. Mistress Ford enters with her own letter from Falstaff. They exchange letters and discover that he wrote the same letter to each. They think he must write the same letter to every woman, and they discuss revenge. Mistress Page suggests they lead him on until he has to pawn his horses to raise money to court them. Mistress Ford agrees, so long as they don't engage in any villainy that will sully their honor. She notes that it's good that her husband didn't see the letter, for his already-large jealousy would have been exacerbated. Ford and Page enter with Pistol and Nim, so the women withdraw to discuss their plans. Pistol announces to Ford and Nim to Page that Falstaff is after their wives. Nim says that they have tired of Falstaff's lying, and, since he has wronged them in the past, they have decided to turn against him. Pistol and Nim depart, leaving Ford and Page to rage against Falstaff. Mistresses Ford and Page approach their husbands and speak with them.

Mistress Quickly enters; the ladies realize that Quickly can be their messenger to Falstaff. They ask if she has come to speak to Anne, and all go inside together. Page and Ford speak of what they have heard from Pistol and Nim. They wonder if it's true. Page doubts that it's true, but he would let his wife go to Falstaff if he meant to seduce her honestly, while Ford insists that he doesn't mistrust his wife, but he wouldn't want her to be anywhere near Falstaff. The Host of the Garter enters. Shallow follows, and he invites them all to see the fight between Evans and Caius, which is about to take place. Ford takes the Host aside. He tells the Host that he isn't angry at Falstaff, but that he wants to have access to him under a false name. He offers money if the Host will introduce him under the name of Brooke. The Host agrees. Meanwhile, the others discuss the fight and depart. Alone, Ford calls Page a fool for trusting his wife, which he cannot do. With his new disguise, he can find out from Falstaff how far he's gotten with Mistress Ford, or whether she's innocent.

Commentary In this section, Shakespeare broadens his exploration of what exactly makes a good husband and, more broadly, a good marriage--one of the central themes of the play. The difference between Ford and Page becomes apparent in their different responses to the reports from Pistol and Nim. Ford already distrusts his wife (Mistress Ford mentions his jealousy), and so he readily believes that she would be open to Falstaff's advances. But Page is much more trusting and doesn't believe Falstaff has a chance with Mistress Page. The Mistresses' plans to humiliate Falstaff conveniently provide the double action of showing Ford that his jealousy is misplaced and that his wife is honest. Even in making plans to embarrass Falstaff, Mistress Ford announces clearly that she will gladly do anything so long as it doesn't compromise her honor. Ford's jealousy about his wife is as misplaced as Falstaff's lust. More Help Merry Wives of Windsor: Entire Play Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out. During this song they pinch FALSTAFF. DOCTOR CAIUS comes one way, and steals away a boy in green; SLENDER another way, and takes off a boy in white; and FENTON comes and steals away ANN PAGE.

A noise of hunting is heard within. All the Fairies run away. FALSTAFF pulls off his buck's head, and rises Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, and MISTRESS FORD Merry Wives of Windsor: Act 5, Scene 1 Merry Wives of Windsor A room in the Garter Inn. (Falstaff; Mistress Quickly; Ford) Falstaff sends Mistress Quickly off to find the bits of costume he’ll need. Ford comes in disguised as Brook, and Falstaff tells him he’ll be in the park at midnight. (6 lines) Enter Falstaff, Mistress Quickly. FAL. Prithee no more prattling. Go, I’ll hold. This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go. They say there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death. Away! QUICK. I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. FAL. Away, I say, time wears, hold up your head and mince. Exit Mrs. Quickly. Enter Ford disguised. How now, Master Brook?

Master Brook, the matter will be known tonight, or never. Be you in the park about midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you shall see wonders. FORD. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed? FAL. I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man, but I came from her, Master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever govern’d frenzy. I will tell you—he beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook, I fear not Goliah with a weaver’s beam, because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in haste, go along with me, I’ll tell you all, Master Brook. Since I pluck’d geese, play’d truant, and whipt top, I knew not what ’twas to be beaten till lately. Follow me, I’ll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on whom tonight I will be reveng’d, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow.

Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow. Exeunt. Shakespeare Closing Lines Quiz - By crayzeejim Closing Line Play And since this business so fair is done, // Let us not leave till all our own be won. And then to Rome:–come, Dolabella, see // High order in this great solemnity. And we shall shock them: nought shall make us rue, // If England to itself do rest but true. As you from crimes would pardon'd be, // Let your indulgence set me free. But that's all one, our play is done, // And we'll strive to please you every day. For never was a story of more woe, // Than of Juliet and her Romeo. Give me your hands, if we be friends // And Robin shall restore amends. He has business at his house; for all shall stay: // This little one shall make it holiday.* I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make court'sy, bid me farewell.

(…) I heard a bird so sing, // Whose music, to my thinking, pleas'd the king // Come, will you hence?* Make way breed peace; make peace stint war; make each // Prescribe to other, as each other's leech. // Let our drums strike. March sadly after: grace my mournings here, // In weeping after this untimely bier. Margaret shall now be queen, and rule the king; // But I will rule both her, the king, and realm. Myself will straight abroad; and to the state // This heavy act with heavy heart relate. Now civil wounds are stopp'd, peace lives again: // The she may long live here, God say amen! Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts; // Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts. Perform'd in this wide gap of ime, since irst // We were dissever'd; hastily lead away. Set on there;–Never was a war did cease, // Ere bloody hands were wash'd, with such a peace. So on your patience evermore attending, // New joy wait on you! Here our play hath ending.

Closing Line Play So, bring us to our palace; where we'll show // What's yet behind, that's meet you all should know. So, call the field to rest: and let's away, // To part the glories of this happy day. So, thanks, to all at once, and to each one, // Whom we invite to see us crown'd at Scone. Sound, drums and trumpet!–farewell, sour annoy! // For here, I hope, begins our everlasting joy. Sound, drums and trumpet:–and to London all; // And more such days as these to us befall! Take up the bodies: such a sight as this // Becomes the field, but here shows much amiss. // Go, bid the soldiers shoot. That done, our day of marriage shall be yours; // One feast, one house, one mutual happiness. The oldest hat borne most: we, that are young, // Shall never see so much, nor live so long. The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of Apollo. You, that way; we, this way. Then, afterwards, to order well the state, // That lie event may ne'er it ruinate.

Think not on him till to-morrow: Ill devise thee brave punishments fot him. – Strike up, pipers! Till then I'll sweat, and seek about for eases; // And at that time bequeath you my diseases. 'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tam'd so. To Master Brook, you yet shall hold your word; // For he, to-night, shall lie with mistress Ford. We came into the world like brother and brother; // And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another. Well, while I live, I'll fear no other thing // So sore, as keeping safe Nerissa's ring. Which oft our stage hath shown; and, for their sake, // In your fair minds let this acceptance take. Which to this hour bewail this injury, // Yet he shall have a noble memory. // Assist. Your old loves to us: we, and all our might // Rest at your service. Gentlemen, good night.

report this ad A Tale Even Shakespeare Couldn't Top Chapter 1, a Rise of the Guardians + Frozen Crossover fanfic | FanFiction A Tale Even Shakespeare Couldn't Top A Jelsa Fanfiction I think I'm overworking myself. Whatever. Enjoy this thingy that I just came up with. If you want me to continue, let me know. If I seem irritated to you, it's just because I'm tired, but I didn't want to lose this idea. It's pretty later where I am if you didn't know. Chapter 1: The Merry Wives of- OOPS! (Again, if you want more, let me know and I'll continue) "Hum! Ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I sleep? Master Ford awake! Awake, Master Ford! There's a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford. This 'tis to be married! This 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets!

Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house; he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me: I'll be horn-mad!" The audience claps at the actor's amazing performance as the terribly jealous Mr. Ford, and the lights go on as he leaves the stage, and the crewmen take away the props of the inn. I stand up and stretch, working out all the kinks in my back. My eyes fall on the starry night, and I think I see a bat or two. There are definitely fireflies. Next to me, my sister Anna is dozing. I shake my head affectionately and lightly shove her. "Anna! Wake up! It's intermission!" Anna snorts awake, and opens her eyes sleepily. "Huh? Where are we? Who are- oh Elsa.

Are we still at the play?" She yawns. I chuckle. "Yes, Anna. I'm going to get some refreshments. I hear they have chocolate covered almonds. Want some?" Anna's eye light up at the mention of chocolate, and I laugh. "I'll take that as a yes. Be right back." I walk down the aisle of chairs, and head past the wooden fences surrounding the outdoor stage. My eyes widen at the sight of all the people. I'm glad Anna and I went to the bathroom before the play started. I'm at the American Players Theater in Wisconsin, an early treat from my parents to me for my birthday, since they don't do plays in the winter. It's my first time, and I'm loving it. Though Shakespeare can be hard to understand, I'm getting the gist. I haven't seen any Shakespeare until now, but I've heard of most of them. I have to say, this experience has totally made, The Merry Wives of Windsor my favorite Shakespeare play. It hurts my sides just thinking about it. I'm at the front of the line eventually, and order two Pepsi's and two packs of chocolate covered almonds.

I thank the woman at the register, then make my way back to my seat, which is in the very top row at the very middle of the area. On the way, I crack open my can. I'm about to take a sip when someone crashes into me so hard I lose my balance and hit the ground. The soda spills all over me, and now I'm soaked in the sticky liquid. "Oh crap, I am so sorry!" Someone says, and I look up. Holy Crabcakes he's gorgeous. The man I'm staring at has silvery white hair and piercing blue eyes. He's tall and thin, but I can detect some sort of muscles underneath his thin -looking blue sweatshirt. I blink once. Twice. "Oh umm, no, I'm sorry it was totally my fault." I say, although it probably wasn't. "No, really. I apologize." He seems to realise I'm on the ground, and holds out his hand. I take it, and let him pull me up. "Again, I'm really, really sorry." He says, and I shake my head. "No, it's ok.

It's just my jacket." I take it off, and shiver a bit at the crisp fall air, which is weird because the cold usually doesn't bother me all that much. Must be the fact that I'm drenched in soda. "Ugh, I'm such an idiot. Can I buy you a new Pepsi?" "No, it's fine really. I'm fine." The man shakes his head. "Stay right here." He's back in a few minutes, holding another Pepsi and a bright blue hoodie with the logo for the theater. "I hope blue's your color." He says, and hands it to me. I hold back. "You didn't have to do that." Ok, the creepy part is, he got the size and color right. What's up with that? "But I wanted to. Think of it as an apology gift." "I really don't think that-" "Please, just accept it." I sigh, and take the items. I pull the hoodie over my head, warmed instantly. "Thank you, umm..." "Jack. Jack Frost." "Right, thank you Jack. I'm Elsa Winters." "Nice to meet you." He says, and holds out his hand.

I take it, and spark flies up my arm. I pull my hand out of his quickly, my cheeks reddening. What is this, a movie? "I should probably get back to my sister." I say. "You have a sister? Me too! Mine isn't here, she'd be asleep in 5 seconds." "Mine already is." I say with a chuckle. Jack laughs at this. "Well, it was a pleasure running into you, Elsa." He says, chuckling a bit. I roll my eyes playfully. "Indeed." I say, and make my way back to Anna. "I'm back." I say to a sleeping Anna. I don't bother waking her, and instead decide to save her snacks for the ride to the airport. Today is our last day in Wisconsin, and we're taking an early flight back to Burgess. It's about 10:00 right now. Our flight is at 1:30 The play continues, and I fix my eyes onto the stage. ... "Let it be so. Sir John, To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word.

For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford." Loud clapping fills the area as I stand up and cheer and clap as loud as I can. I think all the noise wakes Anna up, for there's a rustling as she stands up to clap drowsy beside me. She blinks, and yawns. "It's over?" She asks. I nod. "Come on, we need to get going." I collect my trash and grab my program, which I'm keeping as a souvenir. As we make our way down the forest slope, Anna notices I'm not wearing my coat, but holding it. "Where'd you get the hoodie?" She asks. "Oh, I slammed into some guy and got Pepsi all over my coat. He bought a hoodie for me as an apology." "OMG, that's amazing! Was he cute? Do you like him!?" Anna is bouncing up and down now, and my eyes widen. "Anna, we just met. I don't like him." I insert my hands into the pocket of the hoodie, and to my surprise I feel paper inside. I pull out the paper and find that it is a receipt. Nothing unusual, until I notice the note scribbled on the back of it.

Hope you enjoyed the play, and that you didn't get too cold. If you wanna chat, here's my number. The note is followed by a sequence of numbers. It's from Jack, and I feel my cheeks heating up. Wait, what? I shake my head. I am not crushing on a guy I just met. No sir. Which is why I'm so confused when my hand reaches for the phone in my purse and adds the number to my list of contacts. ... The Merry Wives of Windsor - Act 2, Scene 1 The Merry Wives of Windsor Please see the bottom of this page for related resources. ACT II SCENE I [Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter] MISTRESS PAGE What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday- time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see. 'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him 5 not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, ha!

then there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page,--at 10 the least, if the love of soldier can suffice,-- that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis not a soldier-like phrase: but I say, love me. By me, Thine own true knight, Or any kind of light, With all his might For thee to fight, JOHN FALSTAFF' What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with 20 age to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard picked--with the devil's name!--out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What 25 should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him?

for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. 30 Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. MISTRESS PAGE And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. MISTRESS PAGE Faith, but you do, in my mind. 35 Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel! MISTRESS PAGE O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! 40 Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is it? dispense with trifles; what is it? MISTRESS FORD If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be knighted. What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights 45 will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I might be knighted.

I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of 50 men's liking: and yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere 55 and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of 'Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him 60 with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like? MISTRESS PAGE Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy 65 letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall.

I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names--sure, more,--and these are of the second edition: he will print them, out of doubt; 70 for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. MISTRESS FORD Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very 75 words. What doth he think of us? MISTRESS PAGE Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I 80 know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. MISTRESS FORD 'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him above deck. So will I if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again.

Let's be revenged on him: let's 85 appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter. MISTRESS FORD Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, 90 that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. MISTRESS PAGE Why, look where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause; and that I hope is an unmeasurable distance. 95 You are the happier woman. MISTRESS PAGE Let's consult together against this greasy knight. Come hither. [Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM] FORD Well, I hope it be not so. PISTOL Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs: 100 Sir John affects thy wife. FORD Why, sir, my wife is not young.

PISTOL He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor, Both young and old, one with another, Ford; He loves the gallimaufry: Ford, perpend. 105 [Aside] I will be patient; I will find out this. NYM [To PAGE] And this is true; I like not the humour of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I should have borne the humoured letter to her; but I have a sword and it shall bite upon my necessity. 120 He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. My name is Corporal Nym; I speak and I avouch; 'tis true: my name is Nym and Falstaff loves your wife. Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese, and there's the humour of it. Adieu. 125 'The humour of it,' quoth a'! here's a fellow frights English out of his wits. FORD I will seek out Falstaff. PAGE I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue. FORD If I do find it: well.

130 I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o' the town commended him for a true man. FORD 'Twas a good sensible fellow: well. PAGE [MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward] MISTRESS PAGE Whither go you, George? Hark you. 135 How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy? FORD I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home, go. MISTRESS FORD Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head. Now, will you go, Mistress Page? MISTRESS PAGE Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George. 140 Look who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight. [Aside to MISTRESS PAGE] Trust me, I thought on her: she'll fit it. What sayest thou, my bully-rook? SHALLOW [To PAGE] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester.

185 Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. [They converse apart] Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleire? None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him and tell him 190 my name is Brook; only for a jest. Host My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress; --said I well?--and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight. Will you go, An-heires? SHALLOW Have with you, mine host. 195 I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis 200 here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. Host Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? PAGE Have with you. I would rather hear them scold than fight.

[Exeunt Host, SHALLOW, and PAGE] FORD Though Page be a secure fool, an stands so firmly 205 on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: she was in his company at Page's house; and what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not 210 my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. [Exit]

Question: """For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford"" is a line from which Shakespeare play?"
Answer: The Merry Wives of Windsor