Alice's Adventures in Wonderland -- Chapter VII CHAPTER VII A Mad Tea-Party There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.' The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice coming. `There's plenty of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. Mad Tea Party `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked. `There isn't any,' said the March Hare. `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily.

`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said the March Hare. `I didn't know it was your table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a great many more than three.' `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some severity; `it's very rude.' The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud. `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the March Hare. `Exactly so,' said Alice. `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know.' `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter.

`You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!' Hatter engaging in rhetoric `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!' `It is the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much. The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.' `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter.

`I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare. `It was the best butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It was the best butter, you know.' Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. `What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!' `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does your watch tell you what year it is?' `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together.' `Which is just the case with mine,' said the Hatter. Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.

`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she could. `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose. The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.' `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?' `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. `Nor I,' said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him.' `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously.

`I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.' `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!' (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: `but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.' `Is that the way you manage?' Alice asked. The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied.

`We quarrelled last March--just before he went mad, you know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at!" You know the song, perhaps?' `I've heard something like it,' said Alice. `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:-- "Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle--"' Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep `Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop. `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, `when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his head!"' `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, `he won't do a thing I ask!

It's always six o'clock now.' A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?' she asked. `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.' `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured to ask. `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.' `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal. `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.' `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.

`And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep again before it's done.' `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two. `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; `they'd have been ill.' `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `very ill.' Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.

`I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I can't take more.' `You mean you can't take less,' said the Hatter: `it's very easy to take more than nothing.' `Nobody asked your opinion,' said Alice. `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly. Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It was a treacle-well.' `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.' `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt again. I dare say there may be one.' `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on.

`And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--' `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move one place on.' He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?' `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' `But they were in the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.

`Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it. `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--' `Why with an M?' said Alice. `Why not?' said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I don't think--' `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. Hatter and Hare dunking Dormouse `At any rate I'll never go there again!' said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!' Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. `But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden.

Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and then--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains. The Mad Hatter (Character) - Quotes The Mad Hatter (Character) Alice in Wonderland (2010/I) [from trailer] The Mad Hatter : There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter. [picks up his hat] The Mad Hatter : Which luckily I am. The Mad Hatter : What a regrettably large head you have. I would very much like to hat it. I used to hat The White Queen, you know. Her head was so small. The Red Queen : It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head. Stayne - Knave of Hearts : If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.

The Mad Hatter : [as Stayn clutches his throat] [strained] The Mad Hatter : Have I gone mad? [Alice checks Hatter's temperature] Alice Kingsley : I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are. The Mad Hatter : I'm investigating things that begin with the letter M. The Mad Hatter : [to Alice] You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness. The Mad Hatter : Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk? Stayne - Knave of Hearts : We're looking for the girl called Alice. The Mad Hatter : Speaking of the Queen, here's a little song we used to sing in her honor: The Mad Hatter , Dormouse , The March Hare : "Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at. Up..." Stayne - Knave of Hearts : [Wraps arm around Hatter's throat] If you're hiding her you'll lose your heads. The Mad Hatter : *Already lost them.* All together now!

The Mad Hatter , Dormouse , The March Hare : "Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky. Twinkle twinkle..." The Mad Hatter : 'Twas brillig/and the slithy toves/did gyre and gimbel in the wabe/all mimsy were the borogoves/and the mome raths outgrabe. The Mad Hatter : Only if you believe it is. The Red Queen : How would you like to have your head hacked off? The Mad Hatter : When that day comes I shall futterwacken... vigorously. The Mad Hatter : Well. The entire world is falling to ruins and poor Cheshire's off his tea. Alice Kingsley : A hat? The Mad Hatter : Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme? Alice Kingsley : Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast. The Mad Hatter : That is an excellent practice. The Mad Hatter : Why is it you're always too small or too tall?

The Mad Hatter : 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. The Mad Hatter : What was what? [continues walking] The Mad Hatter : The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, Jaws that bait and claws that catch, Beware the Jabberwock, my son, The frumious Bandersnatch He took his vorpal sword in hand The vorpal blade went snicker-snack He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. Its all about you, you know Alice Kingsley : I'm not slaying anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind [Hatter stops, puts Alice down on a log, and continues walking] Alice Kingsley : Wait! You Cant leave me here! The Mad Hatter : You don't slay? Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay. Alice Kingsley : I couldn't if i wanted to.

The Mad Hatter : You're not the same as you were before You were much more..."muchier" You've lost your "muchness" The Mad Hatter : [Points to Alice's heart] In there. Alice Kingsley : Hatter, why *is* a raven like a writing desk? The Mad Hatter : What is the hatter with me? The Mad Hatter : Yes, yes-but you would have to be half-mad to dream me up. The Mad Hatter : Rise up against the bloody red queen. The Mad Hatter : You could stay. Alice Kingsley : What an idea. What a mad, crazy, wonderful idea. [They smile at each other] [Meeting the Red Queen] The Mad Hatter : You have a regrettably large head! I would very much like to hat it! The Red Queen : [the Mad Hatter is brought into The Red Queen's court] Where is Alice? The Mad Hatter : I've been considering words that start with the letter M. Moron. Mutiny. Murder. Mmm-malice. The Red Queen : Well, we're looking for an A word right now. Where is Alice?

[the Executioner tries to take off the hat of the Mat Hatter at the beheading platform] The Mad Hatter : I'd like to keep it on. Executioner : Suit yourself. As long as I can get at your neck. Hatter : Trust me. I know a thing or two about liking people, and in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, 'like' turns into 'what was his name again?'. Alice : I have a little money, but I understand you don't use that here. Hatter : Pieces of paper! Hatter : [Referring to the White Knight] OK, he's as mad as a box of frogs. Hatter : Do you know why they call me 'Hatter'? Alice : Because you wear a hat? Alice : Who are you? Hatter : A friend. I hope. Hatter : Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a... very wet dress? Hatter : I thought all you guys were wiped out years ago White Knight : Well you thought wrong. As you can see I'm fit as a butcher's dog [slight stiffled cough] Alice : Are there any others like you? White Knight : certainly not. I'm a one off!

My nana used to say that if I was the only eligable batchelor left in the world [bends to pick up shovel] White Knight : there wasnt a warthog or wall flower who'd pollish my escutcheon. [laughs] Alice : No I meant are there any other knights in these woods? your... comrads in arms White Knight : Heavens no, are you mad! we were all wiped out years ago Hatter : Oh I see, you don't trust me. I am genuinely hurt! Alice : Where are we? Hatter : The Great Library. There's 5,000 years of history hidden here: art, literature, law. Rescued when the Queen of Hearts seized power. She'd like nothing more than to see this burnt to nothin'. Alice : Who are those poor people? Hatter : Refugees. Those who don't want to be a part of the Queen's world of instant gratification. We give them shelter and try feed them the best we can, but it is dangerous. If the Queen found out, they wouldn't stand a chance. Alice : Why does she want to destroy all of this? Hatter : Wisdom is her biggest threat.

She controls people with a quick fix. Hatter : Do you know why they call me Hatter? Alice : Because you wear a hat? Hatter : No. Because I'm always there when they pass the hat, so to speak. Hatter : That's not going to come off. Sorry. Rat Catcher : She's Alice! Tell him who you are! Hatter : Wow! Really? woooo! Ratty here thinks you're Alice. Of Legend Alice : Who? Hatter : The last uhm, the last time a girl called Alice came here from your world she brought down the whole House of Cards. Oh yeah. Made quite an impression. Although, it was 150 years ago. It can't be the same girl. Oysters don't even live that long. Hatter : Warning. Don't take it on an empty stomach and only one tiny little drop at a time otherwise the experience might burst your shriveled up little heart. Got it? Alice : Oysters were drained? What do you mean drained? Hatter : Ratty tells me you're looking for someone. Hatter : Pieces of paper? Pointless.

Hatter : Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? Oh, I see. You don't trust me. Fine! I am genuinely hurt! Hatter : [while on a horse together, Alice leans back away from Hatter] Are you comfortable? Hatter : Lean into me. Let me take the weight. Alice : [harshly] I'm good. Alice : Mm-hmm. Mad Hatter : Egad, you learn something new every day. Make a note of that, Marchy, it might come in useful. Mad Hatter : Time marches on its stomach! Ah-haha! Alice : It's an army that marches on its stomach! The March Hare : Odd sort of army, marching on its stomach. I don't like the idea, yuck! [Alice arrives at the Mad Tea Party] Alice : I'm lost. Could I get some - ? Mad Hatter : There's no room! Alice : [indignant] There's *plenty* of room! The March Hare : Why didn't you report this sooner, Hatty? The March Hare : Waiter, waiter, there's a HARE in my soup!

Mad Hatter : Is it blonde? We're missing a waitress! The March Hare : [in an encouraging tone] Have some wine. Alice : [looking down the table] I don't see any wine. The March Hare : There isn't any. And you're too young. Alice : Then it wasn't very nice of you to offer it. The March Hare : It wasn't very nice of *you* to sit down without an invitation! This is a *private* soirée. Alice : Well, I suppose I shouldn't have just barged in when I know I wasn't invited. But the table was laid out for a lot of people. Mad Hatter : My response to that is both profound and meaningful: get your hair cut! Mad Hatter : Now, I have one for you. The March Hare : Why is a raven...? Mad Hatter : I'm not talking to *you*? Mad Hatter : You've heard it before. The March Hare : But you were looking at *me* when you said, "Why is a raven like a writing..." The March Hare : I say, I say, I say...

Mad Hatter : How dare you interrupt my song with "I say, I say, I say!" The March Hare : I say, I say, I say in this world it's now what you know but WHOM you know! Mad Hatter : I don't know either one of them! Mad Hatter : [singing] Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, / How I wonder what you're at / Up above the world so high / Like a tea tray in the sky... The Dormouse : Officer, these men are criminals! Mad Hatter : Who's got his ear trumpet? [trying to stuff the Dormouse into a teapot] Mad Hatter : I told you he wouldn't fit! The March Hare : Oh, he'll fit! We just have to push harder! Alice : [thinking about the riddle] Why is a raven like a writing desk... you know, I-I'm pretty sure I can guess. The March Hare : You mean you think you know the answer? Alice : Yes. The March Hare : Well, then, you should say what you mean. Alice : Well, I do.

At-at least, at least I mean what I say, that-that is the same thing. Mad Hatter : It's not the same thing at all. You might as well say "I eat what I see" is the same thing as "I see what I eat!" [a pie sprouts crab legs and crawls across the table] The March Hare : [eyeing the pie, picking up a fly swatter] You might as well say "I like what I get" is the same as "I get what I like!" [whacks the pie] The Dormouse : [talking in his sleep, then suddenly awake] Aah! You-you, or you might as well say "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe." [nods off] Mad Hatter : Well, it is the same thing with you. [chuckles] Mad Hatter : Aha! Two days wrong! [glares at the March Hare] Mad Hatter : I told you not to use butter! The Dormouse : Danish, mmm. Mad Hatter : Some crumbs must have got into it as well. I said, don't put butter in the works with a bread knife!

The March Hare : I couldn't put it in with a fork, could I? Here, let me see... Mad Hatter : [capricious] I don't want to *give* it to you, but I will! The March Hare : [the Hare takes the watch and examines it; first by banging it on the table, and then by dipping it into his teacup] I don't understand it. It was the best butter. Alice : [the Hare tosses the watch over to Alice, who picks it up and studies it] It's a funny watch. It tells the day of the month, but not the time. Mad Hatter : Why should it? Does your watch tell you what year it is? Alice : No, because it stays a year for so long. Mad Hatter : Oh then, I rest my case. Alice : [points to a pile of suitcases] There. Mad Hatter : Well, then, I rest my case! Mad Hatter : [points to a pile of suitcases] There. [breaks into laughter] Mad Hatter : Would you like a little more tea?

Alice : Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more. March Hare : Ah, you mean you can't very well take less. Mad Hatter : Yes. You can always take more than nothing. Mad Hatter : Mustard! Yes, mu- MUSTARD? Don't let's be silly! Lemon, that's different... Alice : I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you. March Hare : Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party. Mad Hatter : Of course not. This is an unbirthday party. Mad Hatter : Clean cup, clean cup! Move down! [after they have restrained the Dormouse] Mad Hatter : Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me! March Hare : See all the trouble you started? Alice : But I didn't think... March Hare : Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk. Mad Hatter : Why is a raven like a writing desk? Alice : Riddles? Now let me see... why is a raven like a writing desk? Mad Hatter : I beg your pardon?

Alice : Why is a raven like a writing desk? Mad Hatter : [alarmed] Why is a what? March Hare : Careful, she's stark ravin' mad! Alice : But it's your silly riddle. You just said... Mad Hatter : Easy, don't get excited! March Hare : How about a nice cup of tea? Alice : "Have a cup of tea," indeed! Well I'm sorry, but I just haven't the time! Mad Hatter : No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow. Alice : I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who... March Hare : [slices a tea cup in half] Just half a cup, if you don't mind. Mad Hatter : What's the matter my dear, don't you care for tea? Alice : Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea. March Hare : If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation! March Hare : Start at the beginning. Mad Hatter : Yes, yes. And when you come to the end...

[chuckles] "Alice: Episode #1.2" (2009) Hatter : What are you doing? White Knight : Down here! Take the second left through the stairs that will lead up to the third floor, then after the double doors take the third walkway on the right over the Fitness Center to Reception B and ask Shiela! White Knight : Maybe its Shakina... Alice : [holds out hand] the ring Queen of Hearts : are you mad? I'd sooner have you cut off my finger Alice : that can be arranged Hatter : [turns to 10 of clubs] do you have a knife? [10 of clubs hands him switch blade knife] Hatter : mmhm [switches knife open] White Knight : Alice of Legend, your presence in this world is no accident. You are here for a reason. Alice : Please, Charlie, it's just plain Alice. White Knight : Just Plain Alice, I will stand at your side, shoulder to shoulder, knee to... Hatter : Charlie! Now's not such a good time. Alice : You guys shouldn't have come. You could get yourselves killed. Hatter : Did you give the ring up, Alice?

Alice : Look, I have things under control. Hatter : You tried to cut a deal with the Queen, didn't you? Alice : I was getting close. Hatter : Getting close? Maybe I'm wrong, but negotiations didn't appear to be going so well. Alice : Well, I need more time. Hatter : For what? You really think the Queen's just gonna send you and your boyfriend home? Hatter : No, of course not. Alice : Because he's her son. Hatter : The prince? Jack Heart? Jack Heart is your boyfriend? Hatter : What's the matter? Alice : What'll I do if I get stuck here? Hatter : Then I'll make sure you're okay. [pause] Hatter : I think your luck is finally changing. Alice : [they are attempting to escape the casino on flying mechanical flamingos] You don't understand, I'm not getting on that! Hatter : It's perfectly safe!... Safeish! Alice : I have a thing about flying! Hatter : [the queen's agents appear and start shooting at them] Yeah, I have a *thing* about bullets! Look, I'll do the flying, all you have to do is hold on.

Look at me. [she does] Hatter : I wouldn't let you do it if I didn't think you'd be okay. [she nods and gets on behind him] Hatter : What's the matter? Alice : What will I do? If I get stuck here? Hatter : Then I'll make sure you're okay. [they look at each other] Hatter : I think your luck is finally changing. [they almost kiss, but then are interrupted by Jack] [Hatter bursts into the gaming room, and he and Alice take down all the agents. She sees the injuries inflicted by Mad March] Alice : Oh my God. Hatter : Oh, it's a few cuts and bruises. I'm fine. Alice : [she hugs him tightly] I thought you were dead. Hatter : [hugs her back; sighs] Oh, that feels good. [pause] Hatter : We should save that 'til we're safe. [they break apart] Alice : I'm sorry I didn't trust you. Hatter : Do you trust me now? Alice : Completely. Hatter : Good. Follow me; I'm getting us out of here.

Hatter : [as Alice prepares to leave Wonderland; she calls Hatter over to her] I was, uh, I was afraid I might have missed you. Alice : Well, you cut it a little close! Hatter : I was, um... guess I was trying... not to think about it... anyways, I wanted to say good-bye. Alice : [taken aback] 'Good-bye'? Hatter : And if you, you know, ever fancy coming back... Alice : You want me to stay? Hatter : Hell no! No, you - think you should go home. [they share a long look] Alice : Yeah, yeah, I've had enough of Wonderland for a lifetime. Hatter : Yeah, I am sure you have, right? Still, we had... we had a laugh, you know? Had some good times... obviously, among all the... bad times. Alice : [smiles] Yeah. Yeah, we did. Oh, um... [takes off the jacket he lent her] Hatter : You don't have to... [she hands it back] Hatter : Brilliant. Thank you. That's good. So, we should...

[they hug] Alice : You know, you could always visit my world. You might like it. Hatter : Yeah! We could - we could do pizza. Alice : [softly] Yeah, and lots of other things. [Hatter looks like he wants to say more, but Alice is taken away and ushered through the Looking Glass] [last lines] [Alice is back in her world with her mother; the door buzzes] Caroline : Oh, I almost forgot, the construction worker who found you, he wanted to stop by and see how you were. Very sweet. [Alice stays in her room, looking sadly at her copy of Alice in Wonderland] Caroline : Alice? Come meet David. Alice : [exits her bedroom and goes into the living room to see... ] Hatter! [she runs into his arms] Hatter : [hugging her tightly] Finally. Alice : You have no idea how happy I am to see you. [they kiss. Alice's mother looks dumbfounded] Hatter : [whispers] I missed you. [they kiss again] Alice : [holds out hand] The ring Queen of Hearts : Are you mad? I'd sooner have you cut off my finger.

Alice : That can be arranged. Hatter : [turns to Club] Do you have a knife? [is given knife] Queen of Hearts : [angry, gives Alice ring] Hatter : What are you doing? White Knight : Down here! Take the second left at the stairs that lead up to the third floor, then after the double doors, take the third walkway on the right, over the fitness center to Reception B, and ask Sheila! Jefferson : You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic. Jefferson : Now, make a hat and get it to work. Emma Swan : I don't... Jefferson : You have magic. You can do it. Emma Swan : You've clearly glommed onto my kid Henry's thing. They're just stories! The Mad Hatter is in Alice in Wonderland, a book - a book I actually read. Jefferson : Stories. Stories! What's a story? When you were in high school, d'you learn about the Civil War? Emma Swan : Yeah, of course. Jefferson : How? D'you read about it, perchance, in a book?

How's that any less real than any other book? Emma Swan : History books are based on history. Jefferson : And storybooks are based on what? Imagination. Where does that come from? It has to come from somewhere. Emma Swan : This is it. This is the real world. Jefferson : *A* real world. How arrogant are you to think yours is the only one? There are infinite more. You have to open your mind. They touch one another, pressing up in a long line of lands, each just as real as the last. All have their own rules. Some have magic, some don't. And some need magic. Like this one. And that's where you come in. Jefferson : It's hard enough to live in a land where you don't belong, but knowing it... holding conflicting realities in your head... will drive you mad. Jefferson : I'm not crazy. This is real. Jefferson : You believe? Emma Swan : If what you say is true... that woman in the other room... is my mother. And I want to believe that more than anything in the world. So maybe you're right. Maybe I need to open myself up more. Maybe if I want magic...

I have to start believing. Queen of Hearts , Jefferson : [respectively] Off with his head. Evil Queen : I have a job for you. The Mad Hatter : I don't do that anymore. Evil Queen : Yes, I heard you hung up your hat. Why? Is it because of your sweet daughter Grace? The Mad Hatter : Because of my work, she lost her mother. I don't want her to lose her father, too. Evil Queen : So now you're foraging for fungus. What kind of future does your daughter have here with you? Do this one last favor for me, and you can give her the life she deserves. The Mad Hatter : That's why I'm staying. You don't abandon family. *That's*... what she deserves. The Mad Hatter : I hate Wonderland. The Mad Hatter : ...Get it to work. Get it to work. Get it to work. Get it to work...! Alice Kingsleigh : [from trailer] Time is a he? White Queen : He is not someone you want as your enemy. Alice Kingsleigh : Please, sir. The Hatter is in danger. Time : Young lady, your time is up.

Alice Kingsleigh : You're you again! Mad Hatter : Well, if I'm not, I wish I was. Have we meet? Alice Kingsleigh : Yes! Well, no. I mean, not yet. Mad Hatter : That's funny. Actually, I should know you. Alice Kingsleigh : Well, we have met once when I was younger. Mad Hatter : Well, I'm afraid I don't recall. Alice Kingsleigh : That's because it hasn't happened yet. Mad Hatter : Oh. When will it happen? Alice Kingsleigh : Years from now, when you're older. Mad Hatter : [confused] I'll meet you when you're younger and I'm older. Alice Kingsleigh : I realize it doesn't make much sense. Mad Hatter : [pauses] Makes perfect sense to me. I'm Tarrant. Alice Kingsleigh : [shakes his hand] I know. I'm Alice. Mad Hatter : [amused] Alice? You seem to have time all mixed up. Mad Hatter : In the gardens of memory, in the palace of dreams, that is where you and I will meet Alice Kingsleigh : But a dream isn't reality...

Mad Hatter : Who's to say which is which? Mad Hatter : You wouldn't happen to know where the princess is, would you? Swift Heart Rabbit : We thought you would know where the princess is. Mad Hatter : You did? Of course you did, because I do. Alice (2000) (VG) Mad Hatter : [to Alice in a menacing tone] Your hair wants cutting and perhaps your neck could *use a trim*! Mad Hatter : If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn't *dream* of wasting it! Mad Hatter : [on finding out the Hatter has won a castle in another land] Hare, you almost don't sound happy for me. March Hare : Oh no, I'm happy as a clam! Mad Hatter : Clams are happy? March Hare : When they're around their best friends they are. Red Queen : You know, sometimes old things are better than new ones, flaws and all. Mad Hatter : Exactly. Why, we'd rather have our old Queen than a young one any day! The mad hatter's Lunar Pocket Watch The Mad Hatter's Lunar Pocket Watch "The hatter broke the silence.

'What day of the month is it ?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and then said, 'The fourth' 'Two days wrong!' sighed the hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!' he added angrily at the March Hare. 'It was the best butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. 'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the hatter grumbled: 'you shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife.' The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing to say than his first remark, 'It was the best butter you know.' Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a funny watch!' she remarked. it tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!' 'Why should it?' muttered the hatter.

'Does your watch tell you what year it is?' 'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together.' 'Which is just the case with mine,' said the hatter." From this and other clues, it can be deduced that Alice's adventure takes place on May 4th 1862. Alice Liddell (for whom the story was written) was 10 on May 4th 1862, and this was her age when the story was first told to her by The rev. Charles Dodgson (who used the pseudenym "Lewis Carroll"). On May 4th 1862, there was exactly two days' difference between the lunar and calendar months. It has been argued from this that the 'lunatic' Mad Hatter's watch ran on Lunar time (hence the two day error). If Wonderland is near the earth's centre, then the sun would be useless for telling the time of day, but the phase of the moon would be unambiguous.

However, other evidence suggests that Alice was 7 in "Alice's adventures in Wonderland" This was taken from "The annotated Alice" [1] which is "Alice in Wonderland" and "Alice through the looking glass", with all the jokes explained (the twentieth century reader can miss a lot) + lots of insights into the mind of the author. Links to other sites on the Web SparkNotes: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland: Chapter 7: A Mad Tea Party Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Lewis Carroll Chapter 7: A Mad Tea Party → Chapter 6: Pig and Pepper Chapter 8: The Queen’s Croquet Ground Summary Alice approaches a large table set under the tree outside the March Hare’s house and comes across the Mad Hatter and the March Hare taking tea. They rest their elbows on a sleeping Dormouse who sits between them. They tell Alice that there is no room for her at the table, but Alice sits anyway. The March Hare offers Alice wine, but there is none. Alice tells the March Hare that his conduct is uncivil, to which he rejoins that it was uncivil of her to sit down without being invited.

The Mad Hatter enters the conversation, opining that Alice’s hair “wants cutting.” Alice admonishes his rudeness, but he ignores her scolding and responds with a riddle: “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” Alice attempts to answer the riddle, which begins a big argument about semantics. After their argument, the tea party sits in silence until the Mad Hatter asks the March Hare the time. When he discovers that the March Hare’s watch, which measures the day of the month, is broken, the Mad Hatter becomes angry. He blames the March Hare for getting crumbs on the watch when the March Hare was spreading butter on it. The March Hare sullenly dips the watch in his tea, dejectedly remarking that “It was the best butter.” Alice gives up on the riddle and becomes angry with the Mad Hatter when she discovers that he doesn’t know the answer either. She tells him he should not waste time asking riddles that have no answers.

The Mad Hatter calmly explains that Time is a “him,” not an “it.” He goes on to recount how Time has been upset ever since the Queen of Hearts said the Mad Hatter was “murdering time” while he performed a song badly. Since then, Time has stayed fixed at six o’clock, which means that they exist in perpetual tea-time. Bored with this line of conversation, the March Hare states that he would like to hear a story, so they wake up the Dormouse. The Dormouse tells a story about three sisters who live in a treacle-well, eating and drawing treacle. Confused by the story, Alice interjects with so many questions that the Dormouse becomes insulted. Alice continues to ask questions until the Mad Hatter insults her and she storms off in disgust. As she walks, she looks back at the Mad Hatter and the March Hare as they attempt to stuff the Dormouse into a teapot. In the wood, Alice encounters a tree with a door in it. She enters the door and finds herself back in the great hall.

Alice goes back to the table with the key and uses the mushroom to grow to a size that she can reach the key, then to shrink back to the size that she can fit through the door. She goes through the door and at last arrives at the passageway to the garden. Analysis When Alice discovers that Time is a person and not merely an abstract concept, she realizes that not only are social conventions inverted, but the very ordering principles of the universe are turned upside down. Not even time is reliable, as Alice learns that Time is not an abstract “it” but a specific “him.” An unruly, subjective personality replaces the indifferent mechanical precision associated with the concept of time. Time can punish those who have offended it, and Time has in fact punished the Mad Hatter by stopping still at six o’clock, trapping the Mad Hatter and March Hare in a perpetual teatime. The Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse must carry out an endless string of pointless conversations, which may reflect a child’s perception of what an actual English teatime was really like. Alice must adjust her own perceptions of time, since the Mad Hatter’s watch indicates that days are rushing by.

However, the party has not moved past the month of March, the month during which the March Hare goes mad. Though the tea party challenges Alice’s understanding of the fundamental concept of time, the Mad Hatter’s answerless riddle reaffirms Wonderland’s unusual sense of order. The riddle seems to have no answer and exists solely to perpetuate confusion and disorder. Some readers have suggested that the riddle does in fact have an answer: Edgar Allen Poe “wrote on” both the subject of a Raven and “wrote on” a physical writing desk. In Wonderland, chaos is the ruling principle, but a strange sense of order still exists. Though riddles need not have answers, language must retain some kind of logic. The Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse point out to Alice that saying what she means and meaning what she says are not the same thing. Alice has said that she cannot take “more” tea because she has not had any yet.

However, as the Mad Hatter points out, Alice can indeed take “more” tea even though she has not had any, since “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.” The language games at the tea party underscore the inconsistency of Wonderland, but also imply that the ordering principles that govern Alice’s world are just as arbitrary.

Question: In Alice in Wonderland who put butter in the Mad Hatter's watch
Answer: The March Hare