BBC SPORT | Football | End of the Motson era End of the Motson era By Sam Lyon After more than 35 years as BBC Sport's voice of football, Sunday's Euro 2008 final from Vienna marked commentator John Motson's last major television showpiece. I haven't changed my system since 1971 and I couldn't adjust now - I'm too old John Motson Having first appeared on Match of the Day in 1971, the 62-year-old has covered nine European Championships, nine World Cups and 34 FA Cup finals. But Germany-Spain was his last live TV broadcast. "I am coming to the end of my career, I know that," said Motson. "I'd been thinking about it at the start of the season, but now I've decided I don't want to be tearing around South Africa for the 2010 World Cup at the age of 65.

It's physically and mentally challenging." Motson will continue to commentate on Match of the Day and Radio 5 Live - "I don't want to make it sound like I'm disappearing for ever," he says - but in opting not to work on the 2010 World Cup, he is aware it is the end of an era somewhat. "Eighteen tournaments is about right for me," he said. "I don't want to go on too long, maybe end up going to South Africa and people say I'm past my best." The son of a Methodist minister, 'Motty' first joined the BBC in 1968, following stints as a reporter on the Barnet Press and Sheffield Morning Telegraph. Originally working on Radio Two, his Match of the Day commentary career was launched when he was detailed to cover the FA Cup replay between Hereford and Newcastle in 1972. The BBC thought the match would warrant a five-minute segment following their two main games, but Hereford's shock 2-1 win - aided by Ronnie Radford's famous 30-yard strike that sparked a mini pitch invasion - saw the match promoted to the main game, and Motson never looked back.

"That was the breakthrough game for me," he told BBC Sport. "It showed people I could cope with the big game." By that stage, Motson had already replaced Kenneth Wolstenholme - the man famed for his commentary on England's World Cup final win over Germany in 1966 - at Match of the Day, and it is with great pride that Motty talks of how he has gone on to better Wolstenholme's record of FA Cup and World Cup final commentaries. Cannot play media. Sorry, this media is not available in your territory. Relive some of John Motson's most memorable commentaries. In total, Motson has covered six World Cup finals as well as his 34 FA Cup finals (29 finals and five replays), and more than 200 England matches. Of course, it hasn't always been plain sailing for Motson, who recalls the Hillsborough disaster of 1989 as his lowest commentary moment. On the lighter side, the commentator's more infamous lines are still the stuff of legend.

Still, outbursts like "it's Arsenal 0, Everton 1, and the longer it stays like that, the more you've got to fancy Everton," and "for those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip," added to Motson's charm rather than detracted from it. That was underlined in 2004, when he was named the Royal Television Society's Sports Commentator of the Year, receiving the same honour from Four Four Two in 2005 and from The Variety Club in 2006. But of course, his most prized honour is the OBE he received from the Queen in June 2001 for services to sports broadcasting. And it is not just on TV that Motson has built an army of followers. In 2001, when Match of the Day briefly lost Premier League coverage rights to ITV, Motson returned to his roots in radio and worked on BBC Radio 5 Live. MOTD Unplugged: Motty calls time on career He was also caricatured by a virtual 'Mini Motty' on this website and he has researched and narrated over 30 football videos and written four books.

Furthermore, he has also provided commentary for various computer games and made his big-screen debut in the Aardman Animations movie Flushed Away in 2006 - albeit in the less-than-taxing role of a football commentator. All this despite his unwavering method of preparation and a defiant refusal to exploit the stats, figures and opinion widely available on the world wide web. "Younger reporters and commentators depend on club websites and the like," he said. "I'm of an older generation. I haven't changed my system since 1971 and I couldn't adjust now - I'm too old. "I wonder if I really had to do all that work. You do get a reputation for stats and it's still in my head, but I don't go into quite so much detail as I used to." Stats, figures and facts are all things that personified Motson's work, but while he openly admits "people who know me think it's an obsession", he still has time to enjoy his games - even from a haul of nearly 1800 commentaries in total. "I've enjoyed every single one," he says. "Which in particular?

I could go on for hours but I don't want to bore anybody!" When pushed, he opts for the 1982 Brazil-Italy World Cup match when Paolo Rossi scored a hat-trick, England's 5-1 win over Germany in Munich in 2001 and Liverpool's FA Cup final win over West Ham in 2006. While there will be many more great matches to come, viewers will have to get used to them without Motson's unique humour. It is tempting to recite Wolstenholme's famous line "they think it's all over", but for the meantime Motty won't be hanging up the sheepskin coat just yet. Bookmark with: Motson tucks into a burger | Metro News Motson tucks into a burger metrowebukmetro Sunday 29 Apr 2007 4:40 pm He earns thousands of pounds commentating for the BBC and rubs shoulders with the Premiership’s top footballers, but it seems John Motson is still happy to hang out in less salubrious surroundings.

The commentator, famed for his sheepskin coats, shunned the comfort of the press room to enjoy a hot dog and a diet coke by industrial wheelie bins at Chelsea Football Club’s ground in London. Taxi for Motson: ‘Driver, I’ll be lingering around the dustbins eating a pie.’ The BBC’s best-known football commentator ate his snack unnoticed alongside other Chelsea supporters at Stamford Bridge while covering Chelsea’s 2-2 draw against Bolton Wanderers for Match of the Day. But the 61-year-old was without his trademark sheepskin coat, instead opting for a black trench coat, and looking smart in a shirt and tie. Motson – who was awarded an OBE for services to football in 2001 – has been reporting on football matches for more than 35 years and has commented on more 1,500 games including eight world cups. He first put his words to pictures for BBC television in October 1971 during a 0-0 draw between Liverpool and Chelsea. Regarded by many as the true voice of football and regularly picked as fans’ favourtie man on the mike, ‘Motty’ has been known for verbal bloopers.

He is most famously quote as having said: ‘For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip’ seconds into a 1978 league fixture for Match of the Day at The Dell between Saints and Spurs. During last year’s world cup he memorably said: ‘West Germany beat Argentina on penalties yesterday’ – while commentating during the game between England and Portugal, almost 16 years after the reunification of Germany. Experts who studied speech patterns of TV and radio pundits have concluded he gives the perfect commentary, with twice the average vocal range, managing to speak at double the speed and can be twice as loud or soft as most people. He immortalised on film last year when he played the part of a football commentator in Aardman Animations movie Flushed Away. More funny sports commentator quotes..? :: Sports Quotes – motivational sports quotes! spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. George Best An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal. Dave Bassett, Sky Sports Ardiles strokes the ball like it is part of his own anatomy.

Jimmy Magee, RTE Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice. Kevin Keegan, Radio 5 live This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother. Ted Walsh ( Horse Racing Commentator) I would not say he ( David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better. Ron Atkinson He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it – you can see it all over their faces. Ron Atkinson I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat. Norman Whiteside It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up. Ian Wright ( commenting on his teammate’s alcoholism) I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country. Ian Rush Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of Oxford crew. Harry Carpenter ( BBC TV Boat Race 1977) Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel – a Mecca for tourists. David Vine Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres.

David Coleman Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field. Metro Radio ..and later we will have action from the men’s cockless pairs … Sue Barker Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of David Coleman Dennis Pennis: ‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography ?’ Chris Eubank: ‘ On what ? ‘ Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald: ‘Sex is an anti-climax after that !’ To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch. Ruud Gullit Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw. Ron Atkinson For those of you watching in Black and White, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip John Motson Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer. David Acfield What will you do when you leave football, Jack – will you stay in football ? Stuart Hall ( Radio 5 live ) We’ll still be happy if we lose.

It’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival Noel O’ Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich I’d like to play for an Italian club , like Barcelona Mark Draper (Aston Villa ) thought i would give you all a laugh funny_bunny so i hope your grateful cos’ it did take me ages to type it..my fingers ache now… lol Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna’s Lotus sounding rough ? I can’t imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem He’s obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can’t see it It’s raining and the track is wet and this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car A sad ending, albeit a happy one. And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position. He is in last place And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One Racing And there’s no damage to the car – except to the car itself Either the car is stationary, or it’s on the move He can’t decide whether to leave his visor half open or half closed. I should imagine that the conditions in the cockpit are totally unimaginable.

It looks as though this year there will be seventeen Grands Prix for the World Championship, compared with the traditional seventeen. Look up there! There’s the sky! Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn’t! It’s a lap record. Schumacher wouldn’t have let him past voluntarily. Of course he did it voluntarily, but he had to do it. The lead car is unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. Well, now we have exactly the same situation as at the beginning of the race, only exactly opposite. -All by Murray Walker. Sport Quotes - boards.ie Sport Quotes 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?' 'This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.' (Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator) 'We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker - Formula 1 motor racing commentator) 'He's pulling him off!

The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!' (RTE's George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992) 'The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense.' (Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades - and candidate for Grand Wizard of the KKK - in 1991).

On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in a foreign country: 'It was like being in a foreign country.' (Ian Rush - ex Liverpool and Wales footballer) 'Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator' 'Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play" (Peter Lorenzo - football pundit) 'We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized' 'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body' 'The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical' (Murray Walker - qv) 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father' 'Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious' (Alan Minter - boxer) 'The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball' (John Francombe - jockey) 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again' (Terry Venables - ex England football team manager) 'We'll still be happy if we lose.

It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival' (Noel O' Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich - a true Olypean!) 'I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better' (Ron Atkinson - football pundit) 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces.' (Ron Atkinson - qv) 'I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.' (Ron Atkinson - qv) 'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' (Ian Wright - commenting on his teammate's alcoholism) 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.' (Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977) 'Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists.' 'Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever.

And all those times at 1500 metres.' (David Coleman - athletics commentator) 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.' (Metro Radio) ' ....

and later we will have action from the men's coxless pairs..' 'Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of.' (David Coleman - qv) Dennis Pennis (interviewer) : 'Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?' Chris Eubank (boxer) : 'On what?' 'Sex is an anti-climax after that!' (Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald) 'Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that' (Desmond Lynam - former BBC commentator) 'To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.' (Ruud Gullit - ex-Chelsea manager) 'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.' 'For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip' (John Motson - qv) 'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer.' (David Acfield - footballer) 'What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?' (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live) 'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona' (Mark Dr

aper - Aston Villa footballer) 'There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class' (David Coleman - qv - at The Montreal Olympics) '...and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion' 'These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them' (Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta) 'Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago' (David Coleman - qv) 'And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's' (David Coleman - qv - at the start of Match of The Day) footballsite - some of the record-breaking, unusual and bizarre football stories.

FOOTBALL in the MEDIA History was made at Highbury on Saturday January 22nd 1927 when the First Division fixture between Arsenal and Sheffield United became the first football match to be broadcast live on the radio. Just three weeks after the BBC had received its Royal Charter which allowed it to broadcast coverage of major sporting events, Henry Wakelam became the first football commentator. In order to help the listener follow the play the Radio Times printed a numbered grid of the pitch with Wakelam giving grid numbers in his commentary. Arsenal's Charlie Buchan scored the first broadcast goal, the match ending 1-1 in front of a 16,831 Highbury crowd. At the end of that season Arsenal were involved in another first with the first radio broadcast of an FA Cup Final. Cardiff beat Arsenal 1-0 in that final, on Saturday April 23rd 1927, to become still the only non-English side to win the competition. Ten years later, on Thursday September 16th 1937, when television broadcasting was very much in its infancy Highbury again staged a notable first, the first live TV broadcast of a football match.

This time it was an all-Arsenal affair with the first team playing the reserves in a match arranged to test the cutting-edge technology of the time. Not that many people saw it with only a few thousand TVs in the whole country at the time but, as they say, the rest is history........ The first attempt to offer the British TV public regular live League football started – and finished – on 10th September 1960 when ITV broadcast the Saturday evening fixture between Blackpool and Bolton. In 1953 those two clubs contested a famous Cup Final but by 1960 they were both struggling in the First Division and the fixture was missing its star player – Stanley Matthews – because of injury. It was a dismal match with poor TV ratings and the following Saturday (17th) Arsenal refused permission for their match against Newcastle to be televised as did Spurs the week after that (24th) for their match against Aston Villa. As a result ITV abandoned the project which was planned to last for 26 matches and nearly a quarter of a century passed before there was another live League match on British TV – Tottenham v Nottingham Forest - on 2nd October 1983.

********* 'Welcome to Match of the Day, the first of a weekly series on BBC 2. This afternoon we are in Beatleville....' So started the first Match of the Day which was broadcast on Saturday August 22nd 1964. Only the highlights of one match was shown - Liverpool v Arsenal - and it's audience on BBC2 was estimated at less than 100,000 because of the difficulty in tuning in to that channel at the time. Two years later it proved popular enough to move to BBC1. ********* The first MOTDs were of course in black and white. The first colour transmission was on 15th November 1969 at Anfield when Liverpool beat West Ham 2-0. At the time colour TVs were still rare so the commentators had to ensure that their commentaries were suitable for viewers with either colour or black and white sets. That caused problems. John Motson once famously said "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip” Colemanballs ******* Yet another TV first for Arsenal came at the Emirates on Sunday January 31st 2010.

Their 3-1 home Premier League defeat against Manchester United was the world's first live sports event to be broadcast in 3D. The experimental Sky broadcast was beamed to 9 pubs to test the technology and public opinion. ******* So, what wouldn't you make freely available to an alcoholic ex-footballer about to appear in a chat show on live national television? I'm sensing that most of you have got the right answer - alcohol! Sadly those in charge of the hospitality area prior to George Best appearing on the Wogan chat show in September 1990 didn't think along the same lines. When Best appeared on set he was clearly drunk. What followed was certainly memorable television, although for all the wrong reasons. The conspiracy theorists have it that the BBC intentionally plied him with drink to get the outcome that would give a ratings boost to the Wogan show. Whatever the truth it resulted in a sad episode in the troubled life of a player of genius. ********* "Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England versus San Marino with Tennent's Pilsner, brewed with Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste, and England are one down." Jonathan Pearce on radio's Capital Gold showing where the economic realities are!

********* Paul Gascoigne is another who should have been kept well away from alcohol before appearing on the box. To be fair when he made an appearance on Question of Sport alcohol was banned. But one of the team captains, Ian Botham, played one of his practical jokes on the footballer and convinced Gazza that Advocat was non-alcoholic and plied him with the drink. By the time Gascoigne realised that it was indeed very alcoholic he was past caring. Gazza and 'Beefy' were in the same team - they finished second! ********* The biggest TV audience in British broadcasting history was for a football match. The British Film Institutes has estimated that the 1966 World Cup Final between England and West Germany had a TV audience of 32.3 million, 200,000 more than watched the second-placed event, Princess Diana's funeral in 1997. The next most watched football match was the 1970 FA Cup final replay between Chelsea and Leeds United played at Old Trafford.

An estimated 28.49 million watched that one which ranks as the 6th most watched event in British TV viewing history, just ahead of Charles and Diana's wedding in 1981 but just behind the Apollo 13 splashdown in 1970. ********* So, was it the formation of the Premier League in 1992 that did most to change the English game? Or was it the fact that in the same year Sky bought their first TV rights? In what seems like a bargain now they won the right to broadcast live Premier League games for five years for £304 million (later reduced to £190 million because of lack of foreign sales). The first match they televised was Nottingham Forest's 1-0 home victory over Liverpool on Sunday August 16th 1992, the second day of Premier League fixtures. Within 10 years Sky were paying over £1 billion for a three year deal and football was certainly never the same again! ********* Jimmy Greaves perhaps became as well known for his catchphrase It's a funny old game!

as he once was for his deadly goalscoring but it wasn't him who first coined the phrase - well not the real him anyway! From 1984 to 1996 Spitting Image was one of the top comedy shows on TV, featuring puppet caricatures of celebrities of the time with Greaves being one of them. Central TV had the idea of having the real Jimmy Greaves interviewed by his Spitting Image puppet and during the interview it was his puppet that first used the phrase. So perhaps not surprisingly it was the puppet who was the brains behind the phrase rather than the man himself. The voice of the puppet was provided by none other than Harry Enfield. ********* Spurs made history in the 1960/61 season when they won the first League/FA Cup double of the 20th Century but their captain, Danny Blanchflower, had made history himself earlier in the season. On February 6th 1961 he became the first person to turn down an invitation from Eamonn Andrews to appear on BBC's This Is Your Life - and he did it live on air!

He said 'I consider the programme to be an invasion of privacy.....nobody is going to press gang me into anything.' ********* Seems a long time ago now but do you remember those pre-internet days when to find a latest score or a result the only way you could do it was to get the TV zapper out and go to Teletext? ********* When Alex Ferguson retired from management he obviously used his time wisely as when his autobiography was published in October 2013 it became a record-breaking seller. By selling 115,547 copies of the book in its first week it became the UK's quickest selling non-fiction book since records began in 1998. Tony Blair's memoirs had only managed to sell 92,000 copies in its first week while even the top Royal best-seller was bettered - Paul Burrell's A Royal Duty only sold 77,000 copies.

The only other football book in the top five at the time was David Beckham's autobiography My Side in number 4 spot with sales of 86,000 although to be fair the previous record holder, with 112,000 of first-week sales, did have a football connection. It was Delia, of Norwich City fame, with a cook book! ********* It's not unusual to see football-related ads during the commercial breaks but few can really be called classics. Perhaps one of those few is the Ian Rush/who has ever heard of Accrington Stanley ad run by the Milk Marketing Board in the 1980s. An eight-year-old Carl Rice gave Accrington - who had dropped out of the Football League in 1962 - the sort of publicity they never had when they were in the League. Accrington invited Carl to be guest of honour at a match in 2006 and later the same year they won their place back in the Football League. Carl let slip that Accrington weren't the first choice of club names they planned using - the original plan was to use Tottenham Hotspur but that idea was dropped when Spurs objected. But Accrington Stanley was perfect....

********* September 10th 1998 saw a new milestone in broadcasting when Manchester United launched the world's first TV channel dedicated to a single football club - MUTV. Originally jointly owned by the club, ITV and BSkyB it offered 6 hours a day of all things Manchester United for a monthly £4.99 subscription to a national audience. Now wholly owned by the club the hours soon went up to 18 a day and the audience has gone viral with most of the world taking the broadcasts. Launched with a message of 'Get MUTV, get closer to Manchester United' it was another step in global domination by the club brand with an estimated 659 million viewers in 2013. And it gave Fergie another broadcaster to fall out with! ********* When Jimmy Hill had something to say it was generally worth listening to. So when he came out with these comments in his programme notes for a Coventry City match in 1965 something important was about to happen - When Christopher Columbus was half-way across the Atlantic Ocean to America, he must have been wondering what he was going to find (he he had known, he might well have turned back).

Legislators in soccer are looking at tonight's great new venture into the unknown with the same trepidation. The great new venture was closed circuit television. The Second Division match between Cardiff City and Coventry City on Wednesday 6th October 1965 was transmitted to Coventry's Highfield Road ground and watched by the Coventry faithful on four giant screens. At the time about the only live football was the FA Cup final and the experiment was well received - 12.639 watched the 'real' match at Ninian Park while another 10,295 watched the televised screening. Because it was a black and white picture Coventry borrowed the stripped kit of Stoke City to help the viewers distinguish them from the Cardiff players. The experiment continued and three months later London became involved when Millwall's match at Workington was beamed to The Den but the technology really took off in March 1967. On Friday 3rd March 1967 the First Division had its first CCTV match when Arsenal played Manchester United - 63,363 watched the match at Highbury and another 28,423 at Old Trafford for the screening.

Just over a week later the first FA Cup tie was screened with even more impressive attendances. An FA Cup 5th Round tie between Everton and Liverpool saw 64,318 at Goodison and another 40,619 a few hundred yards away for the screening at Anfield. The late 60's also saw the likes of Chelsea, Leeds and Manchester United beam back pictures of away European matches to their respective home grounds. However despite giving large numbers of fans the opportunity of watching live away matches most would not normally have been able to travel to the idea never really took off. It never went away but I guess with the advent of all top matches now being shown on live TV the thought of watching matches from the armchair or at the pub was perhaps always going to be a better option than watching a big tele in the cold!. At the time Closed Circuit TV was cutting-edge technology. Coventry's programme notes for the first CCTV match at Cardiff in 1965 gives an explanation of the science which they presumably expected to baffle everyone and this I have reproduced below. Just remember that the internet and mobile phones were science fiction in those far-off days! How the picture comes to you tonight..

The picture you will see tonight will have travelled 300 miles through so many processes that the mind reels as the technical explanations are poured out. But let me try and describe this fascinating project in words we can all understand. The story begins with three standard type cameras, each selecting a different picture, on the Cardiff Football Ground. The three pictures are seen simultaneously by the Director in charge of transmissions, in his operating coach behind the main stand at Ninian Park. He chooses the particular picture he wants you to see at any given time and, as it were, sends it off to Coventry. The picture leaves Cardiff as a signal and the journey it takes is through a series of cables and reflectors. The cables run underground, the reflectors are on towers above the ground and the signal is bounced from one tower to another. The route from Cardiff goes first to London through cable and six above-the-ground reflectors. From London it is fed into the G.P.O. trunk cable and received in Birmingham. From Birmingham the signal is transmitted and received by another reflector in Coventry and is bounced to yet another reflector, attached to one of the floodlighting towers, here on the ground.

The signal is then fed into an amplifier, to increase the strength, and split into five sources - four to the projectors which supply the screens, and the other to the engineer, who is continually checking the line for quality and technical efficiency. What happens to the signal when it enters the projector and how it produces the giant screen picture is well nigh incredible. Briefly what happens is this. The electronic impulses of the amplified signal are shot through a film of oil. It is this fine film of oil that forms a transparency which in turn becomes the projected picture. The temperature of the oil must be kept constant otherwise the picture will smear. ********* Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Now thats a word I have always wanted to include in a football-based website. Great for Google searches! I can include it because of, in my opinion, the most creative of all football headlines was a take on the name of that song in Mary Poppins. Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious was the headline in the Sun after an amazing result in the Scottish Cup.

Part-time minnows Inverness Caledonian Thistle visited Parkhead and easily beat mighty Celtic 3-1 in a Scottish Cup Third Round tie played on Tuesday February 8th 2000. Celtic manager John Barnes and his assistants Terry McDermott and Eric Black lasted just two more days in their jobs with Kenny Dalglish becoming manager of the Glasgow giants. Having got the above word out of the way I wondered how could I find find a legitimate footballing reason to include that famous Welsh village Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch in the site? And then the answer came to me - humour! So here goes... Two football fans from England were travelling through Wales to attend an away match. Feeling hungry, when they were passing through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they decided to stop and get something to eat. One of them said to the waitress "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.

Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?" The girl leaned over and slowly said, "Burrr … gurrr … kinnnnnng." Well it made me laugh! ********* The Super Caley headline is probably the best-remembered humorous football headline but there have been many more. My two favourites? Back in the 1971/72 season Crystal Palace player Gerry Queen was sent off for fighting an opposing player - the newspaper headline was 'Queen in brawl at Palace'. In April 1979 Nottingham Forest drew 3-3 with Cologne in the first leg of their European Cup final with Cologne at the City Ground. The Germans' equaliser was scored by Japanese substitute Yasuhiko Okudera seconds after he had come onto the pitch with the headlines next day being 'Jap sub sinks Forest'. ********* Things didn't go too well for Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew in the 2013/14 season. In March 2014 he hit the headlines when he head-butted Hull City player David Meyler in a Premier League match at the KC Stadium and received the harshest punishment in Premier League managerial history.

A £100,000 club fine was followed by a £60,000 FA fine and a three-match stadium ban followed by a four-match touchline suspension. Newcastle's form was good enough at the start of the season but in the new year their form slumped and Pardew was at the wrong end of criticism from fans and local media. The club banned three local newspapers from St James' Park accusing them of 'unbalanced' coverage but one of them - the Sunday Sun - had something to say about that in a back-page headline. The moral of that - be very careful when you mess with the local press! ********* It's hardly rare for footballers to stray from their marriage vows and usually such news hardly merits much newspaper space. Unless, that is, they challenge the newspapers 'right' to report it. One footballer tried to do that and obtained a legal 'super-injunction ' preventing anyone publishing details or even talking about his private life. Inevitably the secret was not kept and when Ryan Giggs was named by an MP in the House of Commons in May 2011 the publicity flood-gates opened with stories about his marriage infidelities.

Instead of a small paragraph on page 34 alongside the news that Wayne Rooney had had a hair transplant Giggs had his name and story on every front page. It produced another brilliant headline with its take on the Saving Private Ryan film - Naming Private Ryan - and it was a long time before the papers let go! ********* The Sun haven't always got it right with their 'clever' headlines. Following the draw for the 2010 World Cup finals in South Africa they made their instant decision on England's chances on the front page by naming each country in the group - England, Algeria, Slovenia, Yanks. And The Sun didn't stop there. In the sports pages the headline was 'The Best English Group Since The Beatles'. Those finals in South Africa were many things for England...but EASY was certainly not one of them! ********* Graham Taylor must have wished that it was anyone but Sweden who eliminated England from Euro 92. The England manager had to put up with the Sun headline - Swedes 2 Turnips 1. And newspapers don't let go. A year later England had failed to qualify for the 1994 World Cup finals and Taylor resigned.

The Sun kept to their horticultural theme when they reported on that resignation.... ********* There are some newspaper stories that you just know are written by a fan of the club being reported on. One of those headlines came in February 1961 when Manchester United were slaughtered 2-7 at Old Trafford by Sheffield Wednesday in an FA Cup tie. A Man City fan would have a field-day composing a headline after that result but it was obviously a Reds supporter who got the job. The headline in that evening's Manchester Evening News was United in nine goal thriller. ********* Some stories are just made for the newspapers. In November 1990 Dr George Carey was about to become Archbishop of Canterbury and Jonathan Sacks was about to become Chief Rabbi. They were both good friends and passionate Arsenal supporters. It was decided that their first official ecumenical meeting would take place at Highbury and off they went together to see Arsenal's Rumbelows Cup tie with Manchester United. They were duly presented to the crowd and it was obvious if the power of prayer counted for anything then Arsenal were certainties to win. They didn't. In fact they were thumped 6-2 which was their worst home defeat since pre-war days.

The papers obviously picked this up and a headline the next day read - 'If the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Chief Rabbi between them cannot bring about a win for Arsenal, does this not finally prove that God does not exist!' Now that question was never going to be left unanswered and the Chief Rabbi answered it - 'To the contrary, what it proves is that God exists. It's just the He supports Manchester United.' ********* And last, but by no means least, not all football stories in newspapers are remembered for their humour. Back in 1989 after the Hillsborough disaster it would be difficult to imagine anything that could have made the tragedy even worse, but The Sun newspaper managed it. Their immediate post-match conclusion was that the tragedy - which was to claim 96 lives - was the fault of the Liverpool fans themselves. And that's what they put on the front page. That led to an unprecedented campaign on Merseyside against The Sun and the Establishment authorities in the belief that, even after the Taylor inquiry reported, the real reasons had been ignored. It wasn't until 2012, 23 years after the tragedy, that the truth finally came out and the Sun amended its front page from 1989.

The 2012 editor of The Sun, Dominic Mohan, said he was 'deeply ashamed and profoundly sorry' for what The Sun had to say in 1989. He said 'Twenty-three years ago The Sun newspaper made a terrible mistake. We published an inaccurate and offensive story about the events at Hillsborough. We said it was the truth - it wasn't.' Wouldn't it be great if two lessons were learned from that. First, newspapers should realise their stories are about real people and can cause real pain if inaccurate and second as a society how on earth can we find it acceptable to have to wait nearly a quarter of a century before the truth finally makes an appearance. *********** Did You Know..... ..1-5 down, just 10 players, less than half an hour left - but they win 7-6! Full details of this Football League match and other great fight-backs click on... Colemanballs - Famous Sayings And Quotes!

Colemanballs April 8th, 1999 "The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense." - Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991 "He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!" RTE's (Ireland) - George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville,1992 "Ach, not the Dutch again. You are all assholes anyway and Adolf should have gotten rid of you." - Lothar Mattaus after being cornered by a Dutch TV camera crew at Bayern Munich's training ground in 1994. "He left the same way he arrived - fired with enthusiasm" - Joe Lovejoy of the Sunday Times on the sacking of Graham Taylor as England Manager. "I've always said there's a place for the press, but they haven't dug it yet" - Tommy Docherty.

"It's just another case of the nigger in the woodpile, isn't it?" - Geoff Hurst commentating for ITV, while sitting next to Garth Crooks. "England have not won a game for three months. The fact that we have not played one is irrelevant. Graham Taylor should hang, and so should his successor" - Item in Viz, September, 1993 "The only mates he had in all his time at Liverpool were straight out of the vending machine" - Tommy Smith on Emlyn Hughes. [for non-Brits, "Mates" are the name of a condom brand in the UK] "A million wouldn't buy him, and I'd be one of them." - Bill Shankley-Liverpool Manager. "Viv Anderson has pissed a fatness test." - ITV commentator John Helm. "We've been playing for 61 minutes here in Serravalle, and it's just occurred to me that Scotland are drawing 0-0 with a mountaintop" - BBC Radio Scotland commentator Ian Archer on San Marino v Scotland,May,1991.

"The symbol of peace...the pigeon!" - RTE's Jimmy Magee at the 1982 World Cup finals opening ceremony. "I expect them to come out - oh dear, I'd better not say fighting, had I?" - Tottenham assistant coach Peter Shreeves on European Cup-Winners Cup opponents Hajduk Split of Croatia "LOONY ROONS BARGY ARGIES!" - Headline in The Sun following Cameroon's 1-0 victory over defending champions Argentina in the opening match of Italia'90. "I used to go missing a lot - Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss Germany..." - George Best.

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." - Tom Ferrie "And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0." - Ian Dark "That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice." - Trevor Brooking "Being naturally right-footed he doesn't often chance his arm with his left foot." - Trevor Brooking "Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." - Trevor Brooking What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio - Gerry Francis "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield "In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale." - John Lyall "And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds." - Peter Jones "The game is balanced in Arsenal's favor." - John Motson "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip" - John Motson "What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams

 get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal." - Jimmy Hill "...and so they have not been able to improve their 100% record." - Sports RoundUp "Bobby Robson must be thinking of throwing some fresh legs on." - Kevin Keegan "I don't think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona" - Kevin Keegan "They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different" - Kevin Keegan "Celtic were at one time nine points ahead, but somewhere along the road, their ship went off the rails." - Richard Park "It was that game that put the Everton ship back on the road." - Alan Green "A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave." - John Hollins "And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley......unless somebody knocks us out." - Dave Bassett "You have got to miss them to score sometimes." - Dave Bassett "He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him." - Bobby Robson "If we played like

 this every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistent" - Bobby Robson "If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers" - Mick Lyons "Many clubs have a question mark in the shape of an axe-head hanging over them." - Malcolm McDonald "Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together." - Malcolm McDonald "He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head" - Derek Johnstone, BBC TV Scotland (1994) "Tottenham have impressed me.

They haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun." - Bobby Charlton "Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this Cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs side." - Mike Ingham "The shot from Laws was precise but wide." - Alan Parry "Souness gave Fleck a second chance and he grabbed it with both feet." - James Sanderson "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel" - Stuart Pearce "In comparison, there's no comparison." - Ron Greenwood "They have missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame." - Ron Greenwood "Glenn Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson" - Ron Greenwood The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did" - Barry Davies "It's headed away by John Clark, using his head." - Derek Rae "There's no way Ryan Giggs is another George Best.

He's another Ryan Giggs" - Denis Law "The only thing I have in common with George Best is that we come from the same place..play for the same club..and were discovered by the same man." - Norman Whiteside "I spent four indifferent years at Goodison Park, but they were great years." - Martin Hodge "I would also think that the action replay showed it to be worse than it actually was." - Ron Atkinson "I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way." - Ron Atkinson "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." - Ron Atkinson "Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs." - Ron Atkinson "Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve." - John Greig "Football's not like an electric light. You can't just flick the switch and change from quick to slow." - John Greig "I'm not a believer in luck.....

but I do believe you need it." - Alan Ball "They have got their feet on the ground and if they stay that way they will go places." - John Gidman "The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee." - Mike Ingham "I think that was a moment of cool panic there." - Ron Atkinson "And there's Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold." - Jimmy Hill "....and the news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up." - Brian Moore "Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins." - Brain Moore Jimmy Hill "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?" - Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty - fifty" "Certain people are for me and certain people are pro me." - Terry Venables "If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables "And he's got the icepack on his groin there, so possibly not the old shoulder injury." - Ray French "I never make predictions and I never will." -Paul Gasco

igne "When an expatriate team play a local Indonesian team, the expatriate team always wins" - Tony Winyard, before ISCI got hammered by an Indonesian team at the 1996 Jakarta Highland Games Not about footie, but here's two classic crackers anyway!

"Ah! isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew" - Harry Carpenter, BBC TV Boat Race (1977) "And Juantorina opens his legs and shows his class" - David Coleman, Olympic 800 meters finals "I'm going down so often these days you'd think I was making a blue movie." - Boxer John Conteh after being knocked out by Matthew Sa'ad Muhammed. Some more golden oldies!

"The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the pitch, even on a sunny day" - Chris Jones, Evening Standard "What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?" - Stuart Hall, Radio 5 Live "Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot" - Ray Wilkins, BBC1 "I've got a gut feeling in my stomach" - Alan Sugar, BBC1 "I'm not saying he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better" - Ron Atkinson, Carling Premiership WWW Page "Johnston has revelled in the hole behind Dwight Yorke" - Carling FA Premiership WWW Page "An inch or two either side of the post and that would been a goal" - Dave Basset, SKY Sports "Both sides have scored a couple of goals and both sides have conceded a couple of goals" - Peter Withe, Radio 5 Live "You don't score 64 goals in 86 games at the highest level without being able to score goals" - Alan Green, Radio 5 Live "What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began?

I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal" - Simon Fanshawe, Talk Radio "And we all know in football, if you stand still you go backwards" - Peter Reid, Tyne Tees Sports Special "I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable place for goalies is between their legs" - Andy Gray, SKY Sports "The lad got over excited when he saw the whites of the goalposts eyes" - Steve Coppell, Radio 5 Live "They (Rosenberg) have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them" - Brian Moore, ITV "If you can't stand the heat of the dressing room, get out of the kitchen" - Terry Venables, Capital Gold "The lads really ran their socks into the ground" - Alex Ferguson "He (Brian Laudrup) wasn't just facing one defender - he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well" - Trevor Steven, STV "It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday" - Radio 5 Live "...but Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp for laying on 75% on their nine goals" - Tony Gubba, BBC

 Match of the Day "...

an excellent player, but he (Ian Wright) does have a dark side" - Gary Lineker, BBC "We say educated left foot,...

of course there are many players with educated right foots" - Ron Jones, Radio 5 Live "That's twice now he (Terry Phelan) has got between himself and the goal" - Brian Marwood, Radio 5 Live "Mark Hughes at his very best, he loves to feel people right behind him" - Kevin Keegan "Football today, it's like a game of chess, it's all about money" - Newcastle United fan, Radio 5 Live "Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice" - Kevin Keegan, Radio 5 Live "We threw our dice into the ring and turned up trumps" - Bruce Rioch, ITV "And I suppose they (Spurs) are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other time since the first half of the season, when they weren't even in it anyway" - John Motson, BBC "...and he crossed the line with the ball almost mesmerically tied to his foot with a ball of string" - Ian Darke, Radio 5 "I've told the players to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones" - Chris Turner, Peterborough Manager, before LC QF, 199

2.

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defense" - New York Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning. "I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best "If we played like that every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistent" - Bryan Robson, Man United, 1990 "That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on" - John Lambie, Partick manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was. "Fulham Football Club seeks a Manager / Genius" - Newspaper ad, 1991 "Ardiles strokes the ball like it was part of his anatomy" - Jimmy Magee, RTE WC commentator "We didn't underestimate them - they were a lot better than we thought" - Bobby Robson, after England very nearly lost to Cameroon, WC 1990 "We'll still be happy to lose, it's on at the same time as the Beer Festival" - Niall O'Mahoney, Cork City Manager before a UEFA game with Bayern Munich.

"There's the African defender doing the spadework for his team-mates." - John Motson-UK commentator. "It's hard to be passionate twice a week" - George Graham on Arsenal's punishing schedule, 1991. Just for laughs - Punch Newspapers Just for laughs +1 Let us just take a break from the unending series of palaver at our Glasshouse of football and see how much our ‘ribs will crack’ from these bloopers and witty remarks that are made even more dramatic by their spontaneity and shrouded irony in some cases. Pat Williams:We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play. Scout to Bill Shankley: He has football in his blood. Bill Shankley: You may be right,but it hasn’t reached his legs yet. A journalist asks boxer Chris Eubank the following question during an interview: Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography? Chris Eubank: On what? Muhammad Ali: I’ve seen George Foreman shadow-boxing and the shadow won. Eddie Shaw: He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art.

Trouble is nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem. Golf commentator: One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh, my God, what have I just said? Metro Radio: Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field. George Best: I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted! Oscar Gamble: They don’t think it be likeit is, but it do. Jerry Rice: I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that. Karl Malone: I ain’tgonna be no escape-goat. Rita Rudner: The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said, If we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it jumping up and down. Kevin Keegan: The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23! We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half.

Doug Plank: Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental. Tito Fuentes: They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids. David Beckham: I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet. Jimmy Demaret: Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. George Best on Paul Gascoigne: I once said Gazza’s IQ was less than his shirt number and he asked me: What’s an IQ? Ruud Gullit: We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us. Jasper Carrott: I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. John Lambie, Partick Thistle Manager, when told his concussed striker did not know who he was: That’s great, tell him he’s Pele, and get him back on. Tom Landry: Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable. Derek Rae: It’s headed away by John Clark, using his head.

Murdo Macleod: That was only a yard away from being an inch-perfect pass. Torrin Polk: He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings. Bob Varsha: The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on thethrottle. Jeremy Roenick: Yeah, I’m cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a nice person. Michael Jordan: I’ve never lost a game. I just ran out of time. Eric Cantona: I prefer to play and lose rather than win, because I know in advance I’m going to win. Lou Duva: He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know. Bill Peterson: You guys line up alphabetically by height. Weldon Drew: We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors. Mike Tyson: Fade into Bolivian, I guess. He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not arecluse.

Doug Collins: Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win. Bob Paisley: If you’re in the penalty area and don’t know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we’ll discuss the options later. John Motson (BBC Sports): For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip. Rodney Marsh: I think Sheffield are a very poor football team. They are like a man who’s got diarrhoea who can’t get his trousers down. Chuck Nevitt: My sister’s expecting a baby and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt. Cliff Morgan: The immortal Jack Milburn died today. Mark Viduka: I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league. Richard Sasuly: Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse. Ian Mcnail: We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalised. Jim Murray: Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

Alan Winter: Sure, there have been deaths and injuries in boxing, but none of them serious. Pedro Guerrero: Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean. Chuck Knox: Most of my clichés aren’t original. Shaquille O’Neal: I’ve won at every level, except college and pro. Ian St John: Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball. Ebbe Skovdahl: Statistics are like miniskirts. They give you good ideas but hide the important things. Rocky Graziano: I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it. Greg Morgan: I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. Derek P: If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice? Jean Paul Sartre: In soccer everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team. Ian Darke: Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you are 80-20 sure of winning it. BertiVogts: If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can’t swim. Copyright PUNCH. All rights reserved.

This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH. Peter Crouch 'virgin' jibe wins funniest one-liner vote | Metro News Alistair Potter for Metro.co.uk Thursday 11 Mar 2010 11:27 am Spurs and England forward Peter Crouch has been voted the funniest man in British sport after admitting if he wasn’t a footballer, he’d be a virgin. Many people are mystified by the pairing of misfit Peter Crouch and model Abigail Clancy The lanky-legged striker, whose fiancee is lads’ mag pin-up and lingerie model Abi Clancy (pictured above), topped a survey to find the best one liners and comedy football moments of all time. The 6ft 7in beanpole responded to the question, “What would you be if you weren’t a footballer?” by saying: “A virgin”, winning him nearly a quarter of the votes in the poll. His famous “robot dance” goal celebration – which he has promised to repeat if England win the World Cup in South Africa – also added to his appeal.

Manchester United legend George Best features at number two in the vote for his comment: “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered.” Crouch’s international manager Fabio Capello also makes the list at number three for his honest appraisal of the WAGs culture in English football. The top five also includes ITV commentator Reg Gutteridge describing Chris Eubank’s signature leap into the boxing ring, and one of Muhammad Ali ‘s most famous witty quotes. The survey also asked members of the public their favourite celebrity sporting gaffs. John Motson’s comment: “For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip”, and Delia Smith’s “let’s be havin’ you!” half-time rant at Carrow Road topping the bill. The top 5 sporting one-liners were… 1. Asked what he would be if he wasn’t a footballer, Peter Crouch replied “a virgin” 2. “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered” – George Best 3.

Referring to Wags, “I don’t know where they will stay, it’s not my concern. I’m hoping there will be a virus” – Fabio Capello 4. Chris Eubank made his first flamboyant leap over the top rope into the ring. Reg Gutteridge informed ITV viewers: “The ego has landed” 5. “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and got into bed before the room was dark” – Muhammad Ali More Motson meets his match - silenced by the red button | The Independent Motson meets his match - silenced by the red button Tuesday 13 June 2006 23:00 BST Click to follow The Independent Online For the bosses of BBC Sport, it was supposed to be a chance to show off the latest benefit of digital television - a choice of World Cup commentary. But, as Gary Lineker smoothly invites viewers to enter the digital universe by pressing the red button on their remote controls, the corporation may not have realised it was fulfilling the dearest wish of thousands: the opportunity to silence John Motson.

As the BBC's chief football commentator, and veteran of six World Cups, "Motty" is loved by millions for his comforting patter and was voted Britain's favourite commentator in 2001 with 32 per cent of the vote. But it seemed yesterday that fans were exercising their right to choose in greater than expected numbers by swapping Motson, and his co-commentator Mark Lawrenson, for his rivals on BBC Radio Five Live or even the undiluted sound of the noise from each stadium. A Five Live source said: "We're delighted with the ratings for the England game. There were a lot of listeners reaching us via the interactive television service. Motty is a national treasure but there are some people out there who would rather listen to the different style that is radio commentary. Now they can exercise that choice with the red button." The hi-tech drift away from the main television commentary was confirmed in internet chatrooms. One entry read: "The BBC have got it spot on with their World Cup coverage. The red button allows you to ditch the idiotic TV commentary from John Motson and Mark Lawrenson and instead allows you to select BBC Radio Five Live which tends to be far superior.

Brilliant, brilliant." The corporation leapt to the defence of its 61-year-old national treasure yesterday by insisting that it had no way of measuring how many digital viewers were indeed giving Motson the red button. But it confirmed that record numbers, including thousands among the 13 million who watched England's opening game against Paraguay on Saturday, had accessed digital options, including the alternative commentary. It is understood that the corporation did not consult its leading commentators, including Radio Five Live's Alan Green, about the beauty contest potential of offering alternative commentary. But, in an interview last week with The Independent, the controller of Five Live, Bob Shennan, confirmed that he expected viewers to switch to the radio commentary, if only during rival ITV games: "That was the sports department's decision to allow people the choice. Of course a lot of people will love to listen to Motty but we are expecting that when it's an ITV game everyone will want to listen to Alan Green." Motson, who has commentated on more than 1,000 games, will nonetheless remain the corporation's World Cup voice of choice.

Analysis of the voice of the son of a Methodist minister found that he had the best vocal qualities of any of his rivals and was able to speak at double the normal speed and across twice the range of an average person. A BBC spokesman said: "John Motson remains as popular as ever with fans. The interactive audio streams are about offering more choice to our viewers." With his love of statistics and catchphrase "very much so", Motson rose to national prominence in the early 1970s, commentating from the muddy battlefields of the FA Cup such as non-league Hereford United's shock defeat of Newcastle United in 1972. For a while he vied with fellow BBC grandee Barry Davies for the title of first-choice commentator but eventually became the undisputed choice for major footballing occasions. Motson revealed recently that his apparent love of sheepskin coats is due to a deal he struck early in his career to buy seven identical garments from a Hornchurch trader. Bon mots * Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running round the pitch playing with themselves. * I think this could be our best victory over Germany since the war.

* Nearly all the Brazilian supporters are wearing yellow shirts - it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour. * It looks like a one-man show here, although there are two men involved. * The goals made such a difference to the way this game went. * The World Cup is a truly international event. * For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip. * And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction. * The unexpected is always likely to happen. * It's delirious, it's delightful, it's Denmark.

More about: Sports commentators' brilliant observations Joke "Sports commentators' brilliant observations" joke Hot 3 years ago "An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal." - Dave Bassett, Sky Sports "Ardiles strokes the ball like it is part of his own anatomy." - Jimmy Magee, RTE "Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice." - Kevin Keegan, Radio 5 live "This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." - Ted Walsh ( Horse Racing Commentator) "I would not say he ( David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." - Ron Atkinson "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." - Ron Atkinson "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." - Ron Atkinson "It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up." - Ian Wright commenting on his teammate's alcoholism) "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush "Ah, isn't that nice,

 the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." - Harry Carpenter (BBC TV Boat Race 1977) "Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists." - David Vine "Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever.

And all those times are at 1500 metres." - David Coleman "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." - Metro Radio "...

and later we will have action from the men's coxless pairs..." - Sue Barker "Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of." - David Coleman Dennis Pennis: 'Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Chris Eubank: 'On what?" "Sex is an anti-climax after that!" - Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that" - Desmond Lynam "To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch." - Ruud Gullit "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." - Ron Atkinson "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip" - John Motson "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield "What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?" - Stuart Hall (Radio 5 live) "We'll still be happy if we lose.

It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival" - Noel O' Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona" - Mark Draper (Aston Villa) "There goes Juantorena down the backstraight, opening his legs and showing his class" - David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics "And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's" - David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day "... and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion" - John Arlott "These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them" - Gary McCord - on the greens at Augusta "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?" - USTV commentator "They'll be watching him (Mike Tyson) with a fine toothcomb from now on" - CNN Sports commentator

Question: Which BBC sports commentator famously said ‘For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip’?
Answer: John Motson