BBC - History - Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson z Horatio Nelson © Nelson was a British naval commander and national hero, famous for his naval victories against the French during the Napoleonic Wars. Born on 29 September 1758 in Burnham Thorpe, Norfolk, Horatio Nelson was the sixth of the 11 children of a clergyman. He joined the navy aged 12, on a ship commanded by a maternal uncle. He became a captain at 20, and saw service in the West Indies, Baltic and Canada. He married Frances Nisbet in 1787 in Nevis, and returned to England with his bride to spend the next five years on half-pay, frustrated at the lack of a command. When Britain entered the French Revolutionary Wars in 1793, Nelson was given command of the Agamemnon. He served in the Mediterranean, helped capture Corsica and saw battle at Calvi (where he lost the sight in his right eye). He would later lose his right arm at the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 1797. As a commander he was known for bold action, and the occasional disregard of orders from his seniors.

This defiance brought him victories against the Spanish off Cape Vincent in 1797, and at the Battle of Copenhagen four years later, where he ignored orders to cease action by putting his telescope to his blind eye and claiming he couldn't seen the signal to withdraw. At the Battle of the Nile in 1798, he successfully destroyed Napoleon's fleet and thus his bid for a direct trade route to India. Nelson's next posting took him to Naples, where he fell in love with Emma, Lady Hamilton. Although they remained in their respective marriages, Nelson and Emma Hamilton considered each other soul-mates and had a child together, Horatia, in 1801. Earlier that same year, Nelson was promoted to vice-admiral. Over the period 1794 to 1805, under Nelson's leadership, the Royal Navy proved its supremacy over the French. His most famous engagement, at Cape Trafalgar, saved Britain from threat of invasion by Napoleon, but it would be his last. Before the battle on 21 October 1805, Nelson sent out the famous signal to his fleet 'England expects that every man will do his duty'.

He was killed by a French sniper a few hours later while leading the attack on the combined French and Spanish fleet. His body was preserved in brandy and transported back to England where he was given a state funeral. Admiral Lord Nelson and the Battle of Trafalgar By Ben Johnson | Comments In 1758 a small sickly baby boy was born, son of the Rector of Burnham Thorpe in Norfolk. No one could have envisaged that this child would, in his lifetime, become one of England's greatest heroes. Sent to sea aged 12, he soon found that although he loved the ships and the sea, he would suffer from terrible seasickness all his life. Nelson was a small man, just 5ft 4in tall, of slight build and with a weak constitution. He was frequently very ill with recurrent bouts of malaria and dysentery, relics of his time in the tropics, Madras, Calcutta and Ceylon. In 1780 he was again very ill, this time with scurvy and his life, and the lives of his shipboard companions, hung in the balance. But once again this small, apparently frail man survived!

In spite of his frail health, in 1784 he was given the command of the Boreas and was on duty in the West Indies when he met and married Frances Nisbet, a widow. After an idle period at home in Norfolk, he was recalled and given the command of the Agamemnon in 1793. From 1793 until his death at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805 he was involved in battle after battle. He suffered serious injury during these years, losing the sight in his right eye at the Battle of Calvi in Corsica and his right arm at Santa Cruz in Tenerife. Nelson was a brilliant tactician and was often able to surprise his enemies by audacious tactics. At the Battle of the Nile in 1798 his daring and courage completely outwitted the French when he sailed his ships between the shore and the French Fleet. The French guns that faced the shore were not ready for action, as it was believed that Nelson could not possibly attack from that position! Nelson was created Baron Nelson of the Nile by a grateful country after this stunning victory.

While Nelson was in Naples in 1793 he met the lady who was to become the great love of his life, Emma, Lady Hamilton . She was a great beauty with a voluptuous figure and a rather 'shady' past. Eventually in 1801 Nelson abandoned his wife and lived with his 'dearest Emma'. A daughter was born in 1801 and christened Horatia, a child whom Nelson doted on, though she was never aware who her mother was. 1801 was also the year in which Nelson destroyed the Danish Navy at the Battle of Copenhagen. During the battle he was sent a signal to break off action by the Admiral Sir Hyde Parker. Nelson reputedly put his telescope to his blind eye and said to his Flag Lieutenant, "You know Foley I have only one eye. I have a right to be blind sometimes. I really do not see the signal". Nelson had great courage and was a brave man as he endured intense pain when his arm was amputated without an anaesthetic. The surgeon wrote in his diary, "Nelson bore the pain without complaint, but was given opium afterwards".

After the operation Nelson suggested that the surgeon should heat his knives first, as the cold knives were more painful! War broke out again with France in 180, and Nelson was for many months on watch in the Mediterranean. On October 20th 1805, the French and Spanish fleets put to sea and off the southern coast of Spain the Battle of Trafalgar took place. This was to be Nelson's last and most famous victory. Before the battle, Nelson sent his famous signal to the Fleet, "England expects that every man will do his duty". It was at the height of the battle that Nelson was shot as he paced the deck of his ship Victory. He was easily recognisable by the marksmen on the French ships as he was wearing his full dress uniform and all his medals, and seemed impervious to the danger he was in. He died shortly after he was taken below decks and his body was taken ashore at Rosia Bay in Gibraltar . His body was sent back to England in a barrel full of brandy which acted as a preservative during the long journey home.

The injured from the battle were cared for and those who did not survive were buried in the Trafalgar Cemetery, Gibraltar; their graves remain carefully tended to this day. Nelson's funeral in London was a tremendous occasion, the streets lined with weeping people. The funeral procession was so long that the Scots Greys who led the procession reached the doors of St. Paul's Cathedral before the mourners at the rear had left the Admiralty. He was buried in the crypt of St. Paul's. In London's Trafalgar Square can be seen the country's memorial to the most inspiring leader the British Navy ever had. Nelson's column, erected in 1840, stands 170ft high and is crowned with a statue of Nelson on the top. Lord Nelson (1758-1805) Nelson Gallery - Frequently asked questions | NMRN Portsmouth Nelson Gallery - Frequently asked questions You are here: Home › Nelson Gallery - Frequently asked questions 1. Where and when was Nelson born? 2. What age was he when he first entered the navy? 3. When did he first come a national hero? 4. What other battles was he involved in? 5.

Where and when did he lose the sight of his right eye? 6. Where and when did he lose his right arm? 7. When did he meet Lady Emma Hamilton? 8. What was his rank at the battle of Trafalgar? 9. How did Nelson die? 10. What happened to his body? 11. When was his funeral and where is he buried? 12. Did Nelson really say "Kiss me, Hardy"? 1. Nelson was born at Burnham Thorpe in Norfolk. He was the sixth child of the Revd Edmund Nelson and his wife. He was born on Friday 29 September 1758. 2. Nelson entered the Navy as a Midshipman at the age of 12. His first ship was HMS Raisonable which was commanded by his uncle, Maurice Suckling. 3. He first became a national hero at the battle of Cape St Vincent on 14 February 1797 against a combined French and Spanish fleet. He was Captain of HMS Captain. The Commander in Chief was John Jervis.

The British fleet were in a single line of battle to engage the enemy when some Spanish ships looked as though they might escape north when they were astern of the British column. Nelson spotted this and took his ship out of the line across the passage of the Spanish ships, forcing them to change course, and allowed the leading British ships to catch them up. Nelson also led a boarding party and captured two Spanish ships, San Josef and San Nicholas. 4. The other major battles that Nelson is known for are the battle of the Nile (also known as Aboukir Bay) on 1st August 1798, the battle of Copenhagen on 2 April 1801 and the battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805. He was also involved in some minor engagements. 5. He lost the sight in his right eye at the siege of Calvi on 10 July 1794. 6. He lost his right arm at Santa Cruz (Tenerife) on 24 July 1797. 7. He first met Lady Emma Hamilton at Naples in 1793 when he was Captain of HMS Agamemnon.

She was the wife of Sir William Hamilton, the British Envoy to the King and Queen of Naples. He returned to Naples after the battle of the Nile in September 1798 in HMS Vanguard. He was a sick man, but Lady Hamilton's welcome was effusive and he stayed with the Hamiltons to recover his health, nursed by Lady Hamilton and her mother. During December, Nelson and Lady Hamilton worked to evacuated the King and Queen of Naples after the French invaded. They became lovers in 1800. 8. At the battle of Trafalgar, Nelson was Vice Admiral of the White and Commander in Chief in the Mediterranean. 9. Nelson died during the battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805. He was walking along the quarterdeck when he was shot by a French sniper from the mizzen mast of the Redoutable. He was taken below to the orlop deck with the other wounded men where he later died from his injuries. 10. After the battle, his body was encased in a large casket called a leaguer. It was then filled with brandy as this has preservative qualities.

At Gibraltar, where HMS Victory put in, the brandy that had not been absorbed by the corpse was replaced by spirits of wine for the journey home to Britain, which took four and half weeks due to bad weather. An autopsy was performed when the ship reached Chatham. 11. Nelson was given a state funeral. His body was first laid in state at the Painted Hall at Greenwich Hospital on 5-7 January 1806. On the 8th January, his coffin was taken up river on Charles II state barge to Whitehall where it lay in the Admiralty buildings overnight. On 9th January 1806 the funeral procession went through the streets of London to St Paul's Cathedral drawn by six horses. The ceremony ended at 5.30pm when the coffin was lowered into the crypt. The funeral was attended by many naval colleagues and his estranged wife, Fanny. His captured opponent at Trafalgar, Admiral Villeneuve, was granted leave to also attend. The barge that carried Nelson's coffin up river to Whitehall can be seen in the Museum's Victory gallery. 12. There has been a huge debate over Nelson's words to Captain Hardy.

However, the late Dr Colin White, a renown Nelson scholar and former Director of this Museum, had researched this subject and made the following conclusions: "There is little explanation required for the words as there were at least three eye-witness accounts that record that Nelson did actually ask Hardy to kiss him. These witnesses were: Surgeon William Beatty, Chaplain Alexander Scott and Purser Walter Burke. These three are portrayed in the painting Death of Nelson by Arthur Devis, considered to be the most authentic (the nearest thing to a photograph of the occasion) and they can be seen within inches of the dying Admiral and would, therefore, have heard what was said. On normal occasions, it could be assumed that one witness might be mistaken, but when three independent accounts agree, there is little room for doubt over what was said. Beatty also records that Hardy not only kissed Nelson once, but twice - first on the cheek, then stood up, looked down at his dying Leader and friend, reluctant to leave him. He then bent down again and kissed him on the forehead. Nelson was sinking fast by then and could not see clearly. He asked: "Who is that?" to which came the reply "It is Hardy".

Nelson replied "God bless you, Hardy" It was a very moving and poignant moment. It was consistent with Nelson's affectionate character that he should ask, in the darkness of impending death, for a gesture of tenderness from his closest professional associate and probably his closest male friend." If you have any further questions about Nelson, or any other naval officer, why not see our research collections pages. Horatio Nelson | Uncyclopedia | Fandom powered by Wikia [ show ] edit The Young Sea Stud Horatio Nelson was born with a full compliment of arms, legs and eyes in Norfolk, England in 1758 to the Reverend Edmund Nelson and wife Catherine. His father - taking the Christian maxim about going forth and multiplying - kept his wife in almost constant labour as he wanted to breed a ' Cricket eleven'. Horatio came in to 'bat' as number six which usually means he was a bit of an 'all rounder' [2] . In British naval terms this also suggested sexual ambiguity but Nelson was definitely keener on frocks and kept a chest of contemporary fashions in his cabin when he became an officer. Young Horatio loses patience with a polar bear in an argument about the impact of Global Warming .

The future war hero got the sea bug early and skipped off school to join a local fishing fleet in Lowestoft. There Nelson learnt all the available ropes like how to stay drunk standing up and partaking of rollicking sea adventures involving killing a sexy polar bear and not paying for beer in the French seaport of Calais. It is there apparently Nelson first learned to hate the French when one of their Ladies of Leisure laughed at the size of his 'mainmast [3] . Nelson later on mentioned in his diaries that this experience was 'worse that taking a musket ball in the arm' and later led him to try out the vacuum pump to increase the size and circumference of his personal block and tackle. It is believed that this is where the term 'The Nelson Method Touch' was first coined and would copied by all future British seamen [4] in the wars that followed [5] . With the outbreak of the American War of Insufferable Independence , Nelson volunteered his services to the Royal Navy. He fully signed up to the British motto Rum, Sodomy and The Lash which had made the Royal Navy so feared by other fleets.

Nelson got his 'oar' well and truly stuck in and denounced the American Revolution , as 'contrary to His Majesty's wishes' and hoped to see ' George Washington , Benjamin Franklin , John Adams , Thomas Jefferson and Old Tom Cobley hung without their wigs on the yard arm of his ship HMS Incontinent. When the Americans were joined by their new allies the French, Spanish and Dutch , Nelson said this was all in the good and 'would enjoy' to watch all their ships burn on the oceans'. So when peace was finally signed in 1783 after the Americans had ratted on their allies, Nelson suffered a huge personal loss. Always a man of action, Nelson couldn't abide all the mooching around at sea, pretending to like people so he returned to Norfolk to bore the pants off the locals with his naval yarns. Whilst back on land and to stop rumours about his sexual preferences, Nelson went on a Caribbean cruise for Single Sailors where he met and married Frances 'Fanny' Nisbet. It wasn't a love match, Nisbet was heir to a lot of money but duller than a wet day in Glasgow .

It was a very unhappy marriage and Nelson felt his future had passed him like ' a 'Ship in the night'. Then came the news in 1793 that France had declared war on Britain. Nelson was very, very happy and left home for Portsmouth to find a ship. edit War and Giving Bits Of My Body Up For The Victory Nelson loses his no claims bonus when he deliberately collides with a Spanish ship. 'He was on the wrong side of the shipping lane' Nelson is reported to have said in his defence. A safely anchored Nelson taunts the enemy to shoot off his other arm. The outbreak of war with France saw Nelson right in the thick of the action. He was still looked down upon by other naval captains as a bit uncouth and possibly , aggressively homosexual. They were also suspicious of his 'touch' and insisted shaking his hand with gloves on. By then Nelson didn't care , as he had lost the sight of his right eye in bar brawl in Corsica over the affections of a woman (so it was said) . That she was actually Napoleon 's scandal happy sister Pauline on a night out looking for some below decks fun just increased Nelson's hatred of anything (and anyone) French.

In a change of enemy , Nelson next made his name in command of the HMS Captain in the Battle of Cape St.Vincent in 1797. Eager to enhance his reputation , Nelson ordered that his ship be steered directly into two Spanish galleons [6] .The Spanish were so astounded, they let Nelson crash his ship into their vessels. He lost his No Claims Bonus but won praise and glory from the British who saw this bit of reckless seamanship as a sterling example of British brio. His naval superiors were outwardly pleased and promoted Nelson to the post of Rear Admiral in the British Navy, a well regarded position in a fleet which, amongst its other duties, instructed that the last ship in line required its captain to pull down his breeches and moon at the opposing fleet. Nelson's next command would be on board a worm eaten ship posted off the Spanish sea port of Cadiz. He was there to stop ships reaching or leaving the harbour but it was all pretty dreary and unexciting.

In an attempt to spice up his duties, Nelson would look through his telescope at Spanish villas over looking the sea and watch aristocratic couples undressing and doing other unspeakable [7] things to each other before it was 'candles out'. Nelson was at first disgusted but it was probably here that he realised all the kinky stuff had a great erotic pull on him. Damn the Spanish he would often say in private but saluted their prowess in bed - if not at sea. All Nelson now needed was to find a willing partner to blow wind up his main mast and set course for the land of Hanky-Panky. [8] . It was whilst he was in Spanish waters that Nelson got the order to go the Canary Islands to get a welcome holiday break from staying on-board with a ship full of hand shandying sailors. Once again the hot tempered Nelson got involved in a bar fight - this time when he tried to play a game of Football in the local bull fighting ring. In the ensuing punch-up , a Spaniard chewed Nelson's right arm off [9] . Nelson was dragged away, though once again the British Press said the English naval hero had lost his arm trying to storm Tenerife to cover up the scandal.

[10] . Napoleon's firework collection goes up in flames at the Battle of the Nile. edit The Nile Campaign By now the British Admiralty recognised that they had better preserve 'this Nelson chap' before he lost any more extremities. Nelson was recalled and given the command of the home fleet when news reached London that Napoleon Bonaparte had sailed to Egypt to improve on his sun tan and bank balance with some off-season looting. Nelson was told to find the French adventurer scoured the Mediterranean to 'scrub clean' the area of Francophiles for "the hell of it" in his search for Napoleon. A few days after reaching the Egyptian coast near Alexandria, Nelson got word that the French fleet were anchored in Aboukir Bay a few miles along the coast. Nelson reportedly claimed to be able to beat anyone with his right hand tied behind his back. This would have been an amazing feat for a normal man but everyone knew Nelson's right hand was sitting in a surgeon's bucket hundreds of miles away in the Canary Islands. It was a good jibe and his crew laughed until the slowest of them were finally able to understand the joke and given 100 lashes to increase morale.

Then Nelson ordered his fleet to sail into attack just as the day was turning into night as he thought it would make a more dramatic painting. As Nelson relates in his own journal..I Am Sailing: Emma Hamilton shows where Nelson kissed her first. His second kiss cannot be shown on a family wiki. We arrived in the early evening in the bay. The Frenchies were completely unaware we were there , I could hear them having wild parties on their ships and that there were women on board too. I had smiled to myself - we had caught those randy revolutionaries with their republican bell bottom trousers down. I signalled to the other ships in the fleet that Gentlemen! We have Bonaparte's Fate and His Balls In Our Hands. If Boney's fleet was destroyed , the little Corsican adventurer would have to stay out here and fry his bottom in the desert. Inspired by their leader, the British ships pounded the helpless French vessels with so more hot iron than at a Heavy Metal gig. Eventually, the French flagship, the Leyton Orient , blew up, scattering footballs, empty beer bottles, goal posts and rancid meat pies across the bay.

Before the explosion, observers on other ships saw French Vice Admiral François-Paul 'Stumpy' Brueys d'Aigalliers [11] still on board, waving his arms and urging his 'boys on the burning decks' to keep firing their cannons at Nelson's fleet. The British crews cheered and taunted the French 'You're Not Singing Anymore' and continued the battle until most of the French ships had surrendered or sank by their own crews [12] . On hearing the news, the British parliament gave Nelson the title , Baron Nelson of the Nile and the keys to a pub of his choosing [13] . Nelson decided to celebrate his victory in Egypt by heading off to Sicily for some urgent infidelity where he heard the wife of the British ambassador had acquired the reputation as The Hottest English Totty This Side Of The Mediterranean. Nelson was about to meet Emma Hamilton [14] . edit Lady Hamilton and A Danish Mermaid Emma Hamilton wearing a necklace with the letter 'N' on it. N for Nelson or N for Napoleon? Despite Nelson's war-battered looks, Emma Hamilton fell for Britain's naval hero hook, line and anchor.

Remarkably, she persuaded her husband Sir William Hamilton to stay in his library or greenhouse whilst she right royally entertained Nelson. Emma wrote confidentially to her friend Lady Jersey, an ex-girlfriend of the king's son Prince George: He arrived in my bedroom wearing just his admiral's hat. Nelson looked magnificent , all five foot of him as he stood to attention at the edge of my bed like a proud 100 gun Ship-of-The-Line. I beckoned him in and asked him to show his legendary Nelson touch as he caressed my bare body. When that moment came of mutual happiness , it was like a broadside aimed at the centre of my heart. We got some fresh sheets afterwards. [15] Stories about Nelson's sex drive got back to London where some wondered if it was wise to leave him in command of the British Mediterranean Fleet. But no dared to move against a national hero so Nelson and Emma were left in peace and happy fornication. Midshipman and Gunnar Nelson:Claimed to be Nelson's love twins by a woman with an atrocious taste in hair styles and clothing. Eventually Nelson (with Emma and her cuckolded husband) returned to London.

Nelson was once again given the heroic treatment but when he was asked to take out the Danish in Copenhagen, he was made only second in command to Admiral 'Pen' Parker. The action didn't get off to a good start. Some of the English sailors who hadn't seen a woman in years jumped overboard and swam towards the naked statue of the Little Mermaid, [16] basking shamelessly nude in the harbour. Nor did the fighting go well when more British ships ran aground trying stop their sailors from joining their sex-starved colleagues. At the hight of the battle , Admiral Parker signalled Nelson to retire from the battle but by chance , Nelson was once again peering at people in their bedrooms doing some 'dirty Danish things' and so missed the message. Officially it was said Nelson had exclaimed 'I See No Signal'. What he actually said was 'I See No Corsets' and was pointing his telescope at Copenhagen's red light quarter at the time. In the end, the Danes surrendered, throwing down their pastries and surrendering their ships. Nelson had won again. edit The Nelson Family Nelson says goodbye to his little Fanny. Nelson once again returned to Britain.

This time he gained a Viscountcy but his wife Fanny objected to having to share what was physically left of Nelson with 'that brazen floozy Emma Hamilton' [17] . He left Fanny on Christmas Day 1801 when she unwisely gave him a knitted jumper made for a man with two full functioning arms. Upset and hysterical , Nelson told his wife that it was all over and that he had met and fallen in love with a 'new Fanny'. He added that if she complained, as a serving British admiral, Nelson could have her shot out of a cannon [18] but left without saying another word. Nelson's war hopes were dashed when Britain and France signed a peace treaty in 1802. Nelson said it was a betrayal of his ambitions and moved to a public house in Surrey to live with Emma and William Hamilton. Hamilton died suddenly in 1803 , leaving his antique collection to the British Museum and Emma (and the pub) to Nelson.

It was an odd arrangement but by now , Nelson the war hero was exempt from petty public morality and that included being the father of a remarkable nursery of little Nelsons: Nelson Mandela , Nelson Piquet, Nelson 'F1 Carsmasher' Piquet, The Nelson Brothers..etc [19] - though all of this was later vehemently denied by the British who wanted to keep Nelson's reputation free of scandal. edit Trafalgar War with France (and Spain) broke out once more in 1804 and this time Nelson was given HMS Victory to command the fleet. He was now a full Admiral and had a comprehensive ship-of-the-line insurance cover in case of serious naval battles. Now for the first time he could fight against his best enemies (the French) and his second best enemies (the Spanish) in a joint battle. The French admiral Pierre-Charles Villeneuve was told by Napoleon to 'keep running away' everytime he saw the British whilst the French Emperor got on with task of slipping across the English Channel with a flotilla of soldiers disguised as 'Bogus Asylum Seekers'. The British once again forget to sail on the right and crash straight into the Franco-Spanish navy.

Villeneuve followed the plan to the letter , leaving Nelson to fulminate against the 'Yellow Admiral' [20] as he criss-crossed the Atlantic looking for the Franco-Spanish fleet. Eventually on the 21st October 1805, Nelson received news that the enemy fleet was spotted off the coast of Spain. Waiting to attack them at a place that would be easy for the British not to linguistically mangle themselves over, he gave the orders to sail straight at them off Cape Trafalgar. Nelson decided fly this famous flag signal:- '...now listen Hardy. Don't mix the colour fast clothes with my white breeches again..' Nelson's last words before he is shot. England Expects Our Boys To Give Those Cowardly French and Sneaky Spanish A Damned Good Trashing. What Ho!, ships ahoy!! go for it my sailor boys! [21] Leading from the front, Nelson's flagship crossed the line of the fleeing Franco-Spanish fleet .

His ship was soon hotly engaged by the enemy but Victory cheered as the emptied a broadside into the French flagship Foie Gras , blowing out Admiral Villeneuve's cabin to expose him hiding in the toilet, chain smoking a packet of Gauloise and finishing off a bottle of brandy. However the battle continued as the Victory became entangled in a forest of French and Spanish rigging. Nelson took the opportunity to sort out his dry cleaning with Captain Thomas Hardy and showed off his latest uniform [22] . As Nelson strutted his fancy stuff on the deck of the British flagship for Hardy, a French marksman in the rigging of the nearby (and very whiffy) L'escargot d'ail [23] , spied Nelson and fired his musket with deadly accuracy. Nelson fell over and whispered to Hardy:- Don't forget there is a deposit on these clothes..I think they have got me this time Tommy. Damn the French. There was nothing wrong with my mainmast I tell you... Nelson was brought below where a huge crowd of idle sailors watched him die.

It took ages, about three hours by which time he got the news that the French and Spanish were surrendering as quickly as they could find any white rags to fly from their masts. By now Nelson was close to death and probably delirious. Perhaps mistaking Thomas Hardy for his beloved Emma he said: Kiss me Emma..Kiss me everywhere that is still on one piece. A sad Thomas Hardy then tried to correct Nelson's mistake (it was a death scene in poor light after all). Admiral. I am Hardy , Thomas Hardy sir. You know, the writer and my books 'Mayor of Casterbridge', 'Jude the Obscure'.. Nelson is said to have looked at Hardy and then let one rip from his backside. Oh..those..boring bloody books Hardy [24] . Anyway, you will have to do. Kiss me Hardy [25] and make sure it isn't a filthy French tongue job either.. Hardy gave Nelson a quick little pucker and with that , the heroic Nelson died. His body wasn't chucked over the side like other casualties from the battle.

Instead (despite some protests) , Nelson's corpse was dropped into a barrel of confiscated French brandy and then it was lashed to the mast with the label Nelson's Brandy: Vieille Reserve.1805. edit Death and Glory Nelson insists in wearing one of Emma Hamilton's old night dresses before he dies. News of Nelson's victory and death was greeted with sadness back in Britain. His preserved body was ceremonially eaten by the Royal Family [26] and his bones were given full military honours and buried in St.Paul's Cathedral. The cask of brandy that had contained his body was then given out to the sailors who had carried the coffin. His estranged wife Fanny sent her condolences and a letter to the admiralty confirming all monies owed to Nelson would go to her and not Emma 'Slut-Hamilton'. The British authorities agreed and the luckless Emma was given the empty barrel which had contained Nelson's body plus some of the clothes her lover had worn on the fatal day. It took many years to agree what sort of monument suited Nelson's memory.

Eventually it was decided that a tall Corinthian style column [27] with two large domes at the base would be erected near Whitehall in London. In 1840 the area was cleared and renamed Trafalgar Square but the semi-spheroids were never constructed. Eventually four bronze lions cast were from the captured fancy bedsteads of French and Spanish sailors and placed around the column instead. Apparently Queen Victoria hadn't been amused by the crude symbolism (though if it had been a column in praise of Prince Albert , that would have been different). [28] Once it was finished , a statue of Nelson was placed on top. Once again there was a dispute about which pose best summed up the great man. A popular poll at the time suggested Nelson should be shown looking through his telescope . However in light of Nelson's well known habit of being something of a peeping Tom , the telescope was left out when the statue was eventually finished . Despite this , Nelson stills looks in the direction of France which had been the source of his initial humiliation but also , the land that had given him a run of crap admirals to beat up in battle.

It is just a shame Nelson now has to deal with a different type of manure everyday: From runny bum pigeons perching on his hat. edit Why the French Lost Nelson on top of his column without his telescope. This was to stop him from peeping through people's bedrooms across London. Well firstly: They're French but also the French battle cry was : "To the water, it is the hour!" "A L'eau, c'est l'heure!" According to French writer Victor Hugo , Nelson just got lucky in his many battles and that it was the sporting French who had given the English admiral so many chances. Napoleon had wanted to know if this 'man who beats me on water' would come across the channel and join the winning side. So the story goes Emma Hamilton was Napoleon's secret agent but that she had spoiled French plans by falling for the old sea dog. edit Historical Legacy Officially Nelson died childless so his empty brandy bottles and war trophies went to his younger brother. However Nelson and Emma Hamilton did have two daughters of which one, Horatia, survived long enough to get her first Royal Navy Romper suit.

The British government insisted this all be hushed up to avoid any hint that Nelson wasn't a perfect hero so one the British admiral's old drinking buddies Vice Admiral Charles Thompson said officially he was the father of Emma's children and that he had named the girl Horatia in 'admiration of Nelson'. The British press bought the story and Nelson was left alone to play happy families with Emma Hamilton and his daughter until his death in 1805. Why this cover up was ordered was never made clear (this was at a time before the Victorians got all prudish about sex after all) and left Horatia a bit confused about who her real parents were and believed Emma Hamilton wasn't her mother, preferring to imagine that she was the daughter of a European princess. But there was no doubt who her father was as Horatia grew up to look just like her famous dad - except with breasts of course. Many years later when Britain wanted to join the European Union , France, Spain and Denmark all asked for an official apology from the British for employing Nelson as a pirate. They even wanted Nelson's descendants to make a public grovel but in the end nothing came of this.

For the last time, a British Government stood up from the floor and defended Nelson's reputation. They also said it was 'just too much of a bother' to look up Horatia's descendants and then made a few late night, drunken phone calls to the 'right people'. The matter was eventually dropped. edit Some Little Known Facts About Nelson He was a little bit famous in his own time, being God and everything. After losing his arm at Santa Cruz de Tenerife , he invented the "half-Nelson" wrestling move as a matter of necessity for survival when up against hairy arsed sailors. To this day, one can escape speeding tickets in England by claiming to be a descendant of Horatio Nelson. He was the first person to invent 'The Ratio'. The mathematical concept usedu work out a circle's area, circumference, etc. In memory of Nelson's death, all sailors were required to wear black underpants for 18 years as a sign of mourning. Lord Nelson's favourite pub - in Italy.

One of Admiral Nelson's first letters written left-handed after he lost his right arm | Daily Mail Online comments He lost his writing hand while leading the Royal Navy to an embarrassing defeat on the island of Tenerfie in 1797. The injury would become Admiral Horatio Nelson's constant reminder of failure, but it did not stop him planning his future missions. For a rare letter, one of the first he wrote with his left hand in the after the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, has been unearthed and describes how he was ready to go back to sea.

The scrawling script, written in 1798 to Thomas Lloyd Esquire, is now being put up for auction, and is expected to be sold for around £4,000 Officer: Admiral Nelson wrote the letter after he lost his right arm in the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife in 1797 Scrawls: Experts say the letter gives a fascinating insight into Nelson's state of mind at the time, showing he was still intent on planning his next mission Experts say the two-page note offers a fascinating insight into Nelson's state of mind and how he continued to conjure up strategies in the build up to the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. In it, he valiantly lays out his hopes that he will soon be 'ready for sea' again and that the nation will 'subscribe liberally' to rise up against the 'Vile Dogs of opposition.' He penned the note while recovering from his injury in Bath. It shows the married admiral's sense of humour in the face of adversity by joking about not being tempted by the 'handsomest ladies' in the city.

RELATED ARTICLES Share this article Share He adds: 'As I am possessed of everything which is valuable in my wife I have no occasion to think beyond a pretty face.' The historical letter is to be sold as part of Halls' Auctioneers sale of fine furniture, European ceramics and works of art in Shropshire on February 26. Yesterday Aaron Dean, Halls' books specialist, said: 'The letter gives a fascinating glimpse of Admiral Lord Nelson's state of mind between the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife and his next command in the build up to the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805, where he was shot and killed while leading the Royal Navy to his most famous victory. 'This is a great part of British history. The letter was written in Nelson's left hand while he was recuperating in Bath from losing his arm. 'An inflammatory ligature impeded his recovery. However, this eventually came out naturally and the letter reveals he is pushing for his next command with the Royal Navy. 'His persistence paid off and he was given command of the 74-gun HMS Vanguard.

HMS Boadicea, referred to in the letter, was a Royal Navy frigate serving in the channel and East Indies.' Treatment: He wrote the letter while he was recovering from the serious injury in Bath The letter, addressed to Thomas Lloyd Esq, No: 15 Mary's Buildings, St Martins Lane, London, is part of a consignment from descendants of the Lloyd family of Dolobran, Pontrobert, near Welshpool. They were prominent Quakers, iron merchants and , later, founder partners of Taylors and Lloyds bank, now Lloyds TSB. The letter was discovered by one of Thomas Lloyd's descendants in 1911 and has been kept in the family ever since. It reads: 'Mr dear Lloyd, There is nothing you can desire me to do that I shall not have the greatest pleasure in complying with for I am sure you can never.....although that is not most strictly honourable, I was much flattered by the marquis's king notice of me, and I beg you will make my respects acceptable to him.

'Tell him that.....his place in Mrs Palmer's Bos but his Lordship did not tell me all its charms that generally some of the handsomest Ladys at Bath are partakers in the Bos, and was I a bachelor I would not answer for being tempted, but as I am possessed of everything which is valuable in my wife I have no occasion to think beyond a pretty face. Light-hearted: The letter shows the married admiral's sense of humour in the face of adversity by joking about not being tempted by the 'handsomest ladies' in the city 'I am sorry the King is so poor had he been worth what those Vile Dogs of opposition think what a vast sum would have been given to the nation but I now hope all the nation will subscribe liberally. 'You will not believe that I do not urge others to give and to with hold myself but my mode of observing will be novel in its manner and by doing it mean to...myself of many comforts to serve my country and I suspect great consolation every time I cut a slice of salt beef instead of mutton. 'The vanguard will be at Sheerness next Saturday and if this wind holds she will be at Portsmouth before Thompson quits the channel.

'I only pray that the French may not be ready to leave Brest. I have been in a fever ever since the return with the accounts of their being ready for sea. 'Lady Nelson and my father thanks you for your kind remembrance of them, and believe me my dear Lloyd your most affectionate, Horatio Nelson.' It is one of the star exhibits at the sale on behalf of the Lloyd family, which also includes letters written by Robert Southey, poet laureate from 1813-1843 and social reformer Elizabeth Fry.

Question: Where did Horatio Nelson lose his right arm?
Answer: Santa Cruz