BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Comedian Bob Monkhouse dies Comedian Bob Monkhouse dies Monkhouse was working until six weeks ago The British entertainment world is mourning comedian Bob Monkhouse, who has died aged 75. The star, one of the UK's best known entertainers, battled prostate and bone cancer for more than two years. He died peacefully in his sleep with his wife Jackie at his side, said his manager of 38 years, Peter Prichard. "He was respected by all the other comedians because he was dedicated to his craft - he never stopped making people laugh," Mr Prichard said. Mr Prichard said Monkhouse was still working six weeks before his death, despite being in a great deal of pain. When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now. Bob Monkhouse "He's one of the bravest men I've met. He suffered very badly at times with it but he carried on. "He was a total professional and one of the funniest men in the world," he said.

Speaking of his own sense of loss, Mr Prichard said: "I knew it was coming, but when you get the news you realise we have lost one of the greatest comics that England has ever produced." In 1993, Monkhouse, who lived in Eggington, near Leighton Buzzard, was awarded the OBE. Bob was one of the few men that could make me cringe, get me mad, cry (with laughter) and have me laughing until it hurts Dominic, UK Send your Bob Monkhouse tributes In March this year, when accepting a lifetime achievement award from the Television and Radio Industries Club, Monkhouse said he had been "very lucky" with his treatment. It involved an implant in his stomach and a daily pill which allowed him to keep on working. Monkhouse once said: "I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative." "Anyone who understood comedy loved Bob. He would arrive at any function or cabaret with specially written, individual material for every occasion," said fellow entertainer Des O'Connor. "He loved showbusiness and showbusiness was lucky to have him.

He was not only a brilliant mind, but the warmest and most genuine of friends. One of the brightest lights just went out on the Christmas tree," he said. Tributes for 'incredible' comic BBC director general Greg Dyke said Monkhouse understood TV entertainment better than anyone else in the last four decades. "Bob was a major entertainment figure for nearly half a century with both the BBC and ITV," he said. Born in Beckenham, south London, in June 1928, Monkhouse developed his talent for comedy while a pupil at nearby Dulwich College. He went on to enjoy a long career as a comedian and occasional straight actor. But Monkhouse was probably best known as a host of popular TV game shows including Celebrity Squares and Family Fortunes. Monkhouse leaves a daughter, Abigail. His two sons both died in tragic circumstances, Gary from cerebral palsy and Simon from a heroin overdose. Bob Monkhouse - Biography - IMDb Bob Monkhouse Biography Showing all 40 items Jump to: Overview (5) | Mini Bio (1) | Spouse (2) | Trivia (22) | Personal Quotes (9) | Salary (1) Overview (5) The thief of bad gags.

Height 5' 10" (1.78 m) Mini Bio (1) One of British TV's most popular performers with a career that spanned over four decades, funny-man Bob Monkhouse started off as a radio broadcaster (1947) and stand-up comic. He earned success early on as a gag writer, partnering with Denis Goodwin . In 1953, the duo won their own TV show called Fast and Loose (1954), which was sketch-comedy based. A nightclub comedian to boot, he also pursued films on occasion appearing in such slapstick dillies as Carry On Sergeant (1958), Dentist in the Chair (1960), Dentist on the Job (1961) and A Weekend with Lulu (1961). But TV would be his prime venue, and he moved quite easily into various parlor game and variety show hosting duties.

- IMDb Mini Biography By: Gary Brumburgh / gr-home@pacbell.net Spouse (2) ( 5 November 1949 - 1972) (divorced) (3 children) Trivia (22) Comedian Vocal supporter of the Conservative Party for many years. Married twice, with three children from his first wife: Gary, Simon and adopted daughter Abigail Williams . Attended Dulwich College Two of his three children had predeceased him. His son Gary, who had cerebral palsy, died in 1992. His other son, Simon, died in a Bangkok hotel room from a heroin overdose in 2001. Father and son had been estranged for almost a decade. Much in demand up until his death as an after-dinner speaker. First port-of-call for American comedians visiting London, starting with Bob Hope , when they wanted topical gags. Wrote material for many famous comedians including Bob Hope . He was awarded the OBE (Officer of the Order of the British Empire) in the 1993 Queen's Birthday Honours List for his services to entertainment and charity. A movie buff and collector of many rare films.

Was particularly fond of the horror genre and was very knowledgeable on the subject. Once said that his favorite film was Vincent Price 's Dragonwyck (1946). He was also Honorary President of the long running Gothique Film Society during the 1960s and 1970s. Bob died of prostate cancer in 2003. Yet in 2007 he made a "comeback", appearing in a new TV campaign advertising a prostate cancer charity. The ad, made with the blessing of his widow, blends footage of Monkhouse with that of a body double then adds CGI manipulation of his face to match what is being spoken by a sound-alike. He was a collector of the illustrations of Frank Bellamy and had a room displaying his artwork. Was the original choice for the cameo role of the Tollmaster (eventually taken by his comic contemporary Ken Dodd ) in Doctor Who: Delta and the Bannermen: Part One (1987). A guest at the Royal Variety Performance in 1986. A skilled cartoonist, he would do caricatures of co-workers.

Owned a vast house, and because he was an art lover, he had a cinema in his basement where he screened silent movie reels from his collection. He had a deep respect for the physical comedy of the silent stars, but was frustrated that he couldn't perform it himself. He was said to be a student of comedy, which was why he liked collecting it. He was an early adopter of new technologies. His role of the barber in Secret People (1952) was much bigger but a lot of it was cut due to the film being too long. He and Leslie Phillips swapped roles in Weekend With Lulu (1961). Was originally scheduled for either Stanley Baxter's or Leslie Phillips' roles in The Fast Lady (1963). He was scheduled for a role in Up the Junction (1967) but had to drop out due to commitments. His filmed role in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) ended up on the cutting room floor. Personal Quotes (9) Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional. As a comic, you need every wrinkle. Having a facelift would be like asking a tap dancer to have his feet lopped off.

- Birmingham Evening Mail (UK) 25 September 1993 I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate. - Birmingham Evening Mail (UK) 25 September 1993 When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now. Next Thursday at the polls, it won't just be Bob it'll be Britain saying Opportunity Knocks (1956). And if we put Maggie ( Margaret Thatcher ) back in for the third time we'll all be winners. (During the 1987 general election campaign) I was in Rome recently, and they say "when in Rome, do as the Romans do", so I drove like a bloody maniac! Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted. I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. Salary (1) So these 15 comedians walk into a room...

| Daily Mail Online show ad So these 15 comedians walk into a room... What’s the collective noun for comedians? A gaggle? Live invited a select group of 15 of its favourite performers on to our largest sofa to explain why, 30 years after the ground-breaking launch of the Comedy Store, Britain is the laughing stock of the world – and proud of it comments [caption] On a sunny day in May, you could walk past West London’s Jet Studios and never know the cream of British comedy were gathered inside – but only if you had your iPod on. For anyone with ears to hear, the noise emanating from these garage doors is unmistakeable: a cacophony of yelping, hooting, swearing, shouting and heckling that Frank Skinner describes as ‘like some kind of horrible voodoo sex ritual’. This is what happens when you put 15 comedians in a room. Skinner swaps stories with Jack Dee and Al Murray... newer stars such as Russell Howard and Alan Carr vie for attention... and up-and-coming stand-ups including John Bishop and Tom Deacon wonder what’s going on. The atmosphere is feverish.

With London’s Comedy Store celebrating its 30th anniversary this week by hosting an all-star charity gala, and shows such as Dee’s ‘Live At The Apollo’ and Dara O’Briain’s ‘Mock The Week’, this is a great time to be a stand-up. So if we can just butt in for a moment... anyone got any good jokes? Omid Djalili Sorry. Iranians don’t understand basic British joke construction. For you, an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman, this is a joke. For us, it’s a hostage situation... Frank Skinner A red-nosed bloke goes into a hardware store and says, ‘I’ll have a bottle of meths please.’ Guy says, ‘No way, you’ll drink it.’ The bloke says, ‘No, I’m starting a little painting and decorating business’. The guy says, ‘No you’re not, you’re the alcoholic that sits in the park. The bloke says, ‘I used to be, but I’ve turned my life round – but people like you won’t let me forget.

I’ll always be that drunkard no matter how hard I work, that’s what hurts so much.’ The guy says, ‘All right, I’m sorry, here’s your bottle of meths.’ The bloke says, ‘You haven’t got a cold one, have you?’ Dara O’Briain A man’s walking down the street in Belfast at the height of the Troubles when he gets dragged into an alleyway with a gun to his head. A voice goes, ‘Are you Catholic or Protestant? Thinking quickly he goes, ‘Neither – I’m Jewish. The voice says ‘Wow, I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast.’ Jack Dee Why did the Mexican sneeze on his wife? Tequila. Mark Watson Two guys in a forest hear a bear. One of them starts putting running shoes on. ‘What’s the point in that?’ says the other. ‘You’ll never outrun a bear.’ ‘I don’t have to – I just have to outrun you.’ Chris Addison A skeleton walks into a pub and says, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a mop.’ 'The comedy explosion that happened in the Eighties has seeded a very healthy scene.

There's a lot of talent coming up,' says Jack Dee (above with Alan Carr) Terrible. So what’s it usually like when you get a big gang of comedians in a room? Alan Carr A big anticlimax. Comedians are miserable and bitter. I remember being backstage at the Comedy Store watching someone and the other comics were going, ‘Well, that’s not very funny,’ ‘I’ve heard that one before,’ ‘He’s dying on his a***,’ and then he finished and they were all, ‘Great show! Brilliant!’ There’s a lot of back-stabbing. David Mitchell I disagree. In my experience comedians are generous laughers. But sometimes, like on a panel show, everyone’s under pressure to contribute and, especially if they’re all men, it can become a bit of a bun fight. Nobody means to be nasty – you’re just thinking, ‘I’ve got to come out of this looking good.’ O’Briain That’s exactly the way we are. But on the other hand, we bond because we’ve all faced a common enemy in the shape of a bad crowd. Russell Howard You feel privileged to be part of that. It’s a nice brotherhood to belong to.

Dave Gorman The language of comedy is ridiculously combative. If we do a really good gig we say we killed and if we do a really bad gig we say we died. It’s a bit histrionic. My brother was a fireman – if he’d had a bad night at work, he really would have died. Dee Stand-up is a very alpha male thing to do – you need quite a controlling personality, so you find some big egos. Maybe that’s why, once we get to a certain stage, we don’t really hang out. 'It's amazing how little material you need to launch a career,' says Mark Watson Everyone here is doing pretty well at the moment. Why is 2009 such a good time to be a comedian? Dee The comedy explosion that happened in the Eighties has seeded a very healthy scene. There’s a lot of talent coming up. When we started doing Live At The Apollo, people like Russell Howard were filling concert halls but couldn’t find a slot on telly. Controllers had decided that it didn’t work, but I was absolutely determined that there should be a good stand-up television show that would become the benchmark.

O’Briain As a boy I used to be in tears watching the Dave Allen Show, but there was almost no stand-up on TV five years ago. I’m glad to see it coming back. Live At The Apollo has been great and Stewart Lee’s show [Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle] is just a man and a microphone for half an hour. And all of our DVDs have had an airing on TV at one time or another so I’d say it’s a good time for stand-up. Mark Watson Mock The Week has been really important. It’s done a lot for me and even more for people like Russell who are on every week. It’s the difference between anonymity and mainstream success. One appearance in front of two million people can transform your life. Tom Deacon It’s funny, I’ll play a gig and the promoters will say, ‘Ten years ago we’d have had a thousand people in here.’ But it’s still pretty big and I’ve noticed an improvement with the credit crunch. It’s a cheaper night out for people and there’s nothing better than laughing as a group. Carr Comedy is the only industry that’s booming. It’s well spread out around the country, too.

I got involved when it was booming in Manchester – the only time in my life when I’ve been in the right place at the right time. I worked every night of the week in restaurants, and once in a pizzeria where the mic was handed to me through a serving hatch. The lead didn’t stretch so I had to do the whole gig with my face in the hatch. Why is Britain such a fertile land for comedy? O’Briain I don’t think the English understand that you have one of the world centres for stand-up. The Victorians gifted you a network of theatres in every town. Ireland certainly doesn’t have that, America doesn’t. Also, English crowds expect full shows – two hours – as opposed to the American model where comics build up to a good ten minutes. So you’re surprisingly privileged. I mean, generally you’re a whiny bunch at the best of times and I’m astounded at the negativity... Dee I think we’ve always been better at laughing at ourselves than the Europeans. They have less claustrophobic lives, more sunshine, better food – they don’t need comedy. Mitchell I’d say it’s because we’re painfully self-aware. We know everything we’ve done wrong.

The Victorians were so much more confident and sure of themselves, and I bet they were a lot less funny as a result. I’m sure as America continues to decline, they’ll become terrifyingly funny. Carr We muck about, we change the meaning of words. You meet Americans and they’re humourless. We’ve got so much freedom over here to take the mickey out of each other. I worry that we might be losing that. People are taking offence. We don’t want to get to a point where every joke has a disclaimer saying, ‘The characters in this joke are fictitious, any resemblance to people alive or dead is coincidental. Alan Carr is not responsible for any offence...’ Speaking of offence, what’s the toughest crowd in Britain? Tips for the next generation? 'Never give up,' says Frank Skinner Skinner Aldershot. The response when I went on stage was like seven or eight unsynchronised dripping taps. I wrote about it afterwards. I said they laughed like Hitler laughed: not very often and for all the wrong reasons. Gorman For me it was a nightclub in Nottingham called the Hippo.

The promoter rang me and said, ‘I hope you need the money, because you’re definitely going to die.’ I said, ‘Yes, I need the money.’ Before I’d got to the stage, the whole audience were shouting, ‘**** off, **** off.’ It was utterly ridiculous. I stayed on for 20 minutes, being heckled the entire time. I was even being heckled by the bar staff. Djalili When I started, stand-up was a white, middle-class thing. I remember once when the compère said, ‘Please will you welcome Omid Djalili,’ this woman in the crowd said, ‘Oh no!’ She meant, I’m not white, so I’m not going to be funny. It used to make me very angry. I used to tell audiences, if you keep heckling me I’ll sing Cliff Richard songs. I knew I had to stop it when one night someone started bellowing Carrie Doesn’t Live Here Any More. Then someone else started singing Mistletoe And Wine and I thought, I’ve lost control here. Watson For me it was Maidstone, a beery Saturday-night crowd. The compère apologised for me before I went on, which is death.

I can still remember one guy in a red shirt shouting, ‘Off, off, off.’ Loads of people joined in and started throwing things. I went off to complete silence, didn’t stop to get paid, went through the audience and straight to the train station. At the same venue two days later, when I got my first laugh I almost cried with relief. Carr Maidstone is definitely the worst. It was just homophobic abuse for me. People who work on the Tube have those posters up saying ‘Please allow our staff to do their jobs without being abused’, and I think comedy should be the same. Having said that, heckling’s different. The funniest one was in Birmingham, where I asked an ambulance driver to tell me the worst thing he’d ever seen. He said, ‘You.’ That’s a good heckle. That’s the difference between Birmingham and Maidstone. 'Comedians are miserable and bitter,' says Alan Carr (above with Jack Dee) So what have been the best heckles? Skinner At a club in London there was a blind man who was a regular in the audience.

He shouted, ‘Get off, you Brummie git.’ Then there was a pause and he said, ‘Has he gone yet?’ O’Briain I’m very difficult to heckle because I talk very quickly and it’s almost impossible to get a word in. But there was one guy who stood up and said, ‘You just can’t do this. Why don’t you stop?’ That was difficult. The best one I’ve ever heard was at an American stand-up’s show in Birmingham. For some reason he just paused for a very long time and someone called out, ‘Sorry, are you on a break?’ Dee I had a bloke who wouldn’t shut up all through the gig. I couldn’t see him because of the lights. I was very rude to him, and couldn’t understand why people weren’t laughing. It was only after the show that someone told me he was in a wheelchair. He was extremely disabled, and I’d been saying he sounded like Darth Vader. Howard A lady handed the comedian before me a noose. I think she said, ‘End your misery and mine.’ I was on afterwards.

Addison I was at a gig in Gloucester around the time Trigger Happy TV was on and this bloke in the audience kept shouting, ‘Hello? No, I’m at a comedy gig! No, it’s rubbish,’ which the crowd found hilarious. He didn’t even earn it: that was Dom Joly’s catchphrase. I was furious. What makes a man get on stage the first time? Deacon I did a course at university called Confidence Through Comedy and it worked. To stand up and tell jokes that are essentially about how rubbish you are stops you worrying about those things. Comedy is the best therapy. Lee Mack My first gig was the biggest leap of faith. It was at an open-mic session in a place called the Bun Shop in Surbiton. It was a big deal because I’d been saying I wanted to be a stand-up since I was a kid. It didn’t go brilliantly, but it’s the fact that I did it. You can be the funniest bloke in the world to your mates, but until you do it on stage you’re not a comedian. Djalili My first routine came from my mates laughing at me in the pub when I told them about my mother haggling in McDonald’s.

She said, ‘Give me two Big Macs, two chips, two Cokes – how much?’ They said eight pounds. She said, ‘I’ll give you one pound.’ My mates laughed and I realised that if I embellished a bit and shortened it, I could get a lot of people laughing. The reason any comedian gets up is because his friends have told him in a pub that these bits work. My bits totalled 20 minutes, of which five minutes were gold. Watson I had 20 minutes of rubbish with a two-minute nugget that worked. It’s amazing how little material you need to launch a career. John Bishop It didn’t happen like that for me. I split up with my wife, became depressed, drank too much and went to a comedy club because it’s somewhere you can go on your own. The guy on the door said it’s £4 to get in or free if you do an open-mic slot. So I put my name down, expecting there to be two or three hundred people in there. There were seven, and five of them were doing a slot.

I went on after a fella doing chicken impressions and at the end of the night the boss said, ‘Well, you were better than the chicken. Come back next week.’ So that’s how it started. My whole act was about divorce. British people like hearing about someone having a terrible time. It was like, ‘Let’s watch this fella. He might cry in a minute.’ What was everyone else’s first routine about? Skinner Mine was about sneezing. My dad had a very messy sneeze. But when I told middle-class people they did that tiny tsst sound, like you’ve swallowed a chaffinch... so I did a whole routine around that, which ended with me pretending to sneeze with my back to the audience. Then when I turned round, I had a piece of clingfilm weighted down with a coin dangling from my nostril. Mitchell I wrote a sketch at school, a monologue by a political party, very derivative of Monty Python’s Silly Party sketch. I was incredibly pleased with it. Everyone’s a copyist at that age... apart from Peter Cook, who wrote the One Leg Too Few sketch when he was 18 or something terrifying.

Al Murray The moment I hit on the Pub Landlord character, I realised it was a bottomless pit. You can talk about everything people talk about in pubs. The first I thought up was an inappropriate charity night he was doing to raise money – a dog fight for guide dogs for the blind. It set the tone for his character. O’Briain I did debating at university and told a joke about the moving of the law faculty to a different building. It got a round of applause and in that insane moment a hideous ego was born. 'The moment I hit on the Pub landlord character, I realised it was a bottomless pit,' says Al Murray So what have we learned? Does anyone have any tips for the next generation of comedians? Skinner Never give up. For my first slot, 2.30 in the morning at the Comedy Store in London, the guy on before me was Lee Evans. He absolutely brought the house down. I went on and died, so I thought I’d killed my chances for ever. But I kept going back. Finally I remember coming offstage and the compère going, ‘Well he was rubbish, wasn’t he?’ You can only say that if someone’s gone really well.

That’s when I knew I’d cracked it. Dee You have to develop a stage persona, which is a heightened version of yourself. Once I’d done that, I discovered that the stage persona starts writing its own material. O’Briain Take the long view. No one had heard of me until I went on Have I Got News For You – but that was built on a decade of gigs and Edinburgh Festival shows. Comedy’s unique in that there’s a very straightforward career arc from open mic to clubs to Edinburgh to TV, but in the end none of us really knows why some comics suddenly become huge, as Michael McIntyre did last year. They just find the ear of the public at a certain time. Dee There’s a certain amount you can achieve by hard work, but there’s something instinctive that drives a professional comedian. It comes from the gut. It’s a way of seeing the world, a lens through which everything else comes into focus. O’Briain I’ve got some advice: never mention a baby. It alienates 25-year-olds and it bores anyone over the age of 40. It’s like if you were performing to old people and you kept mentioning death.

Mitchell Our producer on the sketch show always says that the two words that stop people laughing are cancer and rape. Unfortunately, awful, unsayable things can also be funny. In a way, that’s what this division in society that’s been revealed after the Ross/Brand thing has been about. I feel we need to get to a place where you can make a joke about certain things, without being seen as advocating them... And on that rather serious note (the only thing comedians take seriously is comedy itself) they start to file out into the sunshine: some into expensive sports cars, some into waiting cabs, some just walking to the nearest bus stop. Not everyone gets rich as a comedian – but everyone gets a lesson in life. To die on stage, then to get back up, is something we could all learn from in these unfunny times. As Bob Monkhouse said, ‘When I told people I wanted to be a comedian, they laughed. They’re not laughing now.’ Who's who of the 15 comedians... From left to right: Dave Gorman and Chris Addison DAVE GORMAN You know him from Panel show Genius, his own shows Are You Dave Gorman? and Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack Adventure.

You didn’t know ‘I balance rocks for a hobby. Look me up on Wikipedia and I’m listed as one of the three well-known rock-balancers. it’s my zen hobby.’ Dave Gorman will be on tour from August. davegorman.com CHRIS ADDISON You know him from The Thick Of It and its cinema spin-off, In The Loop. Says things like ‘The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.’ Question he gets asked the most ‘How old are you? Apparently I look much younger on screen so people think I’m in my mid-twenties, but I’m not. I’m really, really not.’ chrisaddison.com From left to right: Russell Howard and David Mitchell RUSSELL HOWARD You know him from Regular appearances on Mock The Week and Live At The Apollo. Says things like ‘Do you think the Queen’s ever pulled up the bedclothes and gone to Philip, “Look, I’m a stamp”?’ Gets annoyed by ‘I had someone videoing me in Tesco the other day. He was disappointed. “That’s only Weetabix,” he said.

He wanted comedy foods.’ russell-howard.co.uk DAVID MITCHELL You know him from Peep Show, That Mitchell & Webb Look. Says things like 'I dress terribly. I’d be afraid to join the CID because I wouldn’t know what to wear.’ Gets annoyed by Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. If it was that easy, everyone would do it. In fact, it’s so difficult that if you can do it, they give you your own show.’ Mitchell returns on ‘Would I Lie To You?’ soon From left to right: John Bishop and Dara O'Briain JOHN BISHOP You know him from Live appearances. Says things like ‘We get scared in England when Osama Bin Laden sends a tape. A cassette! How can you be scared of someone who can’t work a DVD?’ Gets annoyed by ‘I bought an iPod last year that holds 24,000 songs... I’ve only got six CDs.’ John performs at the Edinburgh Festival this year. johnbishoponline.com DARA O’BRIAIN You know him from Hosting Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You.

Says things like ‘If we were truly created by God, why do we bite the inside of our own mouths?’ You didn’t know ‘I spend a lot of time on Xbox Live. At the moment I’m into Left For Dead, the zombie game. I tried it with the headset, but it felt like I was grooming 12-year-olds.’ ‘Mock the Week’ returns in July From left to right: Al Murray and Omid Djalili AL MURRAY You know him from Pub Landlord, Al Murray’s Multiple Personality Disorder. Says things like ‘Americans have the American Dream. There’s no such thing as the British dream. That’s because we’re awake.’ You didn’t know ‘I have an extensive CD collection of lute music.’ The Pub Landlord’s Beautiful British Tour, thepublandlord.com OMID DJALILI You know him from The Omid Djalili Show, plus bit-parts in Gladiator and The Mummy. You didn’t know ‘I was Metallica’s chauffeur in 1984. I was only 19. They were off their heads the whole time, but I got to like them.

They kept tipping me and ruffling my hair.’ The second series of ‘The Omid Djalili Show’ is on BBC1, Mondays at 10.40pm From left to right: Lee Mack and Tom Deacon LEE MACK You know him from The Sketch Show, sitcom Not Going Out, panel show Would I Lie To You? Says things like ‘My wife’s carrying my first child. He’s eight, the lazy sod.’ You didn’t know ‘I used to be the stable-lad for Red Rum. I got quite close to him, but I gave it up once I realised I was scared of horses. What’s not true is that I’m Russ Abbot’s nephew.’ leemacklive.com TOM DEACON You know him from Live performances. ‘Chortle’ Student Comedian of 2007. Says things like ‘An orange walks into a bar and his mate says: “You’re round!” Southampton’s a nice place, but the people there are slow.

This girl with her mum asked for a Creme Egg, and the mum said, ‘No, Danielle, I’ve told you – bird flu!’ myspace.com/tomdeaconcomedy From left to right: Simon Bird and Jack Dee SIMON BIRD You know him from The Inbetweeners and the Edinburgh Fringe. Says things like ‘I haven’t bought clothes for years. I see it as a waste of money. As long as I’m appropriately covered I don’t mind. I’m officially colour blind, and I’m a fully qualified football referee. Not a brilliant combination.’ ‘The Inbetweeners’ Series 1 and 2 are available on DVD from tomorrow JACK DEE You know him from Celebrity Big Brother, Lead Balloon, Jack Dee Live At The Apollo. Gets annoyed by ‘This Mexican flu thing. Apart from in Mexico, hardly anyone’s died from it. But the thing I always go back to is bad customer service and British people’s inability to be helpful. We are astonishingly bad at it. It amuses and completely enrages me.’ From left to right: Mark Watson and Frank Skinner MARK WATSON You know him from Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You.

Why he uses a fake Welsh accent as part of his stage act ‘I began it as an on-stage persona to free myself from self-consciousness. Hearing your own voice makes you cringe, so I decided I would use someone else’s.’ markwatsonthecomedian.com FRANK SKINNER You know him from Fantasy Football, Baddiel & Skinner Unplanned, his chat show. You didn’t know ‘I’m really into opera. It was the Queen Of The Night’s aria in The Magic Flute that gave me the bug. You’ve got to be careful who you tell about that. I don’t have any friends who’d tolerate it.’ Frank’s latest book ‘On The Road’, is out this summer. frankskinnerlive.com ALAN CARR (above) You know him from The Sunday Night Project, Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong. Says things like ‘My dad never trusted me with anything technical. He’d say, “Alan wouldn’t understand.” He thinks I’m going to come out of Dixons with a pony.’ You didn’t know ‘I’m distantly related to Robson Green.

I told that to a journalist before, and they changed it to, “I want to have relations with Robson Green.”’ Watch Russell Howard and Jack Dee below BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Obituary: Bob Monkhouse Obituary: Bob Monkhouse Monkhouse was one of Britain's favourite performers Bob Monkhouse's critics called him bumptious, smooth and smarmy but, for more than 40 years, he was one of the most popular and assured performers on British television. Monkhouse, who has died after a two-year battle with prostate cancer, was born at Beckenham in south London in June 1928, his parents hoping he would go into the family custard business, the firm of Monk and Glass. But he began selling cartoons and jokes in his teens and at Dulwich College public school he met another comedy hopeful, Denis Goodwin. They teamed up to write material for comedians including Max Miller and Arthur Askey. Monkhouse was also writing and drawing strips for children's comics such as the Beano and the Dandy and, after leaving school, set himself up in business as the editor of his own publication.

His career started in the 1940s He commissioned artists and writers for his comic, paying them by postal order, and did all the production and distribution work himself. His days as a publisher ended when he was called up for service in the Royal Air Force and he returned to civilian life to earn a living as a radio gag writer and stand-up comedian. He appeared in revue with Benny Hill in the late 1940s and later broke into television, writing and appearing with his old partner, Denis Goodwin, who committed suicide in 1975. Bob Monkhouse's own life was darkened by tragedy. At the age of 20, he was disowned by his parents after marrying his first wife, Elizabeth. His mother turned up at the wedding in mourning black. He never resolved his differences with his father and only spoke to his mother in the months before her death. And in 2001 his 46-year-old son Simon died from a heroin overdose in a Thai guest house. He and his father had not spoken for 13 years. His other son, Gary, who had cerebral palsy from birth, died in 1992 aged 40.

He was diagnosed with prostate cancer two years ago, and was given an implant in his stomach and a daily pill to allow him to keep working. Asked about his health, he joked: "I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. "I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas." Near-the-knuckle As well as his long career as a talented, slick comedian and occasional straight actor, Bob Monkhouse was probably best known as a host of popular TV game shows. He reckoned that, during his career, he had fronted more than 30 different programmes, including The Golden Shot, which ran for nine years. He hosted more than 30 game shows His other game show hits included Celebrity Squares, Bob's Full House, 64,000 Dollar Question and Bob's Your Uncle. He also compered the revived Opportunity Knocks talent show for the BBC, and found time for about 150 cabaret and speaking appearances each year. He was awarded the OBE in 1993.

Always in his element playing to small, intimate, audiences rather than at large venues, Bob Monkhouse enjoyed improvising and was quite often near-the-knuckle. "When I said I was going to become a comedian," he once quipped, "they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now, are they?"

Question: Which popular comedian once joked, "When I said I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they are not laughing now"?
Answer: BOB MONKHOUSE