The Rules of Fight Club. The Rules of Fight Club. 1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB. 2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB. 3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over. 4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight. 5th RULE: One fight at a time. 6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes. 7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to. 8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight. The Rules of Fight Club brought to you by Digging For Fire . Fight Club (film) - Wikiquote Fight Club (film) The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. Fight Club is a 1999 film about an unnamed protagonist who struggles with his increasing issue with consumerism and changes in the state of masculinity in American culture. In an attempt to overcome this, he creates an underground fighting club as a radical form of psychotherapy. Directed by David Fincher . Written by Jim Uhls .

Based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk . Mischief. Mayhem. Soap. Bob had bitch tits. People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Strangers with this kind of honesty make me grow a big rubbery one. You wake up at SeaTac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. I am Jack's... complete lack of surprise. On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. I felt like destroying something beautiful. I am Jack's wasted life. I am Jack's smirking revenge. When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake. With insomnia, nothing's real. Everything's far away. Everything's a copy of a copy of a copy. Fight club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words.

The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church. Tyler built himself an army. Why was Tyler Durden building an army? To what purpose? For what greater good? In Tyler we trusted. I want you to really listen to me. My eyes are open. You met me at a very strange time in my life. Tyler Durden[ edit ] The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: Fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight. Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction … Our fathers were our models for God, if our fathers failed, what does that tell you about God? Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived.

I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables – slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. In the world I see – you're stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Hi, you're gonna call off your rigorous investigation. You're gonna publicly state that there is no underground group, or, these guys are gonna take your balls. They're gonna send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times, press release style. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on: we cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us. The things you own end up owning you. You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, in all probability he hates you. It's not the worst thing that could happen. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. If we are God's unwanted children, so be it!

First you've gotta know - not fear, know - that someday you're gonna die. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not. We're consumers. We are the byproducts of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. Listen up, maggots! You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Marla Singer[ edit ] A condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. My God … I haven't been fucked like that since grade school. Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.

I've got a stomach full of Xanax. I took what was left in the bottle. It might have been too much. [on the phone, after taking a bottle of sleeping pills] This isn't a real suicide-thing. This is probably one of those cry-for-help things... You're going to have to keep me up aaaall night. It's a bridesmaid's dress. I got it at a second-hand store. It was loved intensely for one night.. then cast aside. Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just … Marla Singer: … instead of just waiting for their turn to speak? Narrator: Yeah. Yeah. Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

Woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? Narrator: You wouldn't believe. Woman on plane: Which car company do you work for? Narrator: A major one. [Plane turns heavily, narrator thinks to himself]: Every time the plane banked sharply on takeoff or landing, I prayed for a crash, or mid air collision, anything. Life insurance pays triple when you die on a business trip. [Narrator's bags have just been confiscated] Narrator: Was it ticking? Airport Security Officer: Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Narrator: Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But … every once in a while [looks around, leans in conspiratorially] … it's a dildo. [leans back] Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never … your dildo. Narrator: I don't own a dildo!

Narrator: Let me tell you a little bit about Tyler Durden. Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen. [In the background, Tyler points to the corner of the screen as one such mark briefly appears.] Tyler Durden: In the industry, we call them cigarette burns. Narrator: That's the cue for a changeover. He flips the projectors, the movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea. Tyler Durden: And why would anyone want this shit job? Narrator: Because it affords him other interesting opportunities. Tyler Durden: Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films.

Narrator: So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the film. [As the audience is watching the film, pornography flashes for a split second] Narrator: Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did. Tyler Durden: A nice, big cock … [Several audience members look rattled, a little girl cries] Narrator: Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work. Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. Narrator: Martha Stewart. Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns. [Tyler and Narrator stop outside a convenience store at night.

Tyler takes out a gun and walks into the store to do their homework assignment of a "human sacrifice", while Narrator protests. Tyler forces the clerk out the back exit at gun point.] Voice-over: On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everybody drops to zero. Narrator: Stop! What are we doing? Come on! God! Tyler Durden: Hands behind your back. Give me your wallet. [The clerk, now kneeling, hands him his wallet.] Tyler Durden: Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 South East spanning apartment A. Small cramped basement apartment, Raymond? Raymond K. Hessel: How did you know? Tyler Durden: 'Cause they give shitty basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond, you are going to die. [Raymond begins to cry. Tyler examines content of the wallet.] Tyler Durden: Is that your mom and dad? Mom and Dad are going to have to call up kindly Doctor So-and-so. Pick up your dental records. Wanna know why? Because there's gonna be nothing left of your face. Narrator: Oh come on, come on. Tyler Durden: An expired community college student ID. What did you study, Raymond? Raymond K.

Hessel: S-stuff. Tyler Durden: Stuff? Were the mid-terms hard? I asked you what you studied! Raymond K. Hessel: Biology mostly. Tyler Durden: Why? Raymond K. Hessel: I don't know. Tyler Durden: What did you wanna be, Raymond K. Hessel? The question, Raymond! Was "What did you want to be"?! Narrator: Answer him, Raymond! Jesus! Raymond K. Hessel: Veterinarian, veterinarian. Tyler Durden: Animals. Raymond K. Hessel: Yeah animals and stuff. Tyler Durden: And stuff, yeah I got that. That means you have to get more schooling. Raymond K. Hessel: Too much school. Tyler Durden: Would you rather be dead? Would you rather die? Here, on your knees in the back of a convenience store? Raymond K. Hessel: No, please no! [Tyler takes his gun down, takes out Raymond's driver's license throwing the wallet in front of Raymond.] Tyler Durden: I'm keeping your license. I'm gonna check in on you. I know where you live.

If you're not on your way to becoming a veterinarian in six weeks, you will be dead. Now run on home. [Raymond gets up and runs into the night.] Tyler Durden: Run Forrest, run! Narrator: I feel ill. Tyler Durden: Imagine how he feels. Narrator: Come on, this isn't funny! That wasn't funny. What the fuck was the point of that?! Tyler Durden: Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted. Voice-over: You had to give it to him. He had a plan. And it started to make sense in a Tyler sort of way. No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. [Tyler throws gun to Narrator who opens the barrel to find no bullets inside.] Narrator: I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. Tyler Durden: Where'd you go psycho boy?

Narrator: I felt like destroying something beautiful. Narrator: I know it seems like I have more than one side sometimes... Marla Singer: More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass! David Fincher Gavin Smith goes one-on-one with David Fincher (1999) Interview with Film Comment magazine , October/November 1999 issue The movie is not that violent. There are ideas in the movie that are scary, but the film isn't about violence, the glorification of violence or the embracing of violence. In the movie, violence is a metaphor for feeling. It's a film about the problems or requirements involved with being masculine in today's society. Violence shouldn't be presented as drama. I think people looking for an easy way out often write scenes where characters come into violent conflict as opposed to looking for the true drama in the situation. That's a shortcoming of a lot of films and television shows. I think certain presentations of violence are not immoral, but amoral. I find it amoral if you're making a movie where the problem is solved with a guy standing in the back of pickup truck firing a machine at the bad guys.

The morality of it is questionable because the repercussions of violence are incredibly far-reaching. I do like movies that take a toll on the audience. I want to work the subconscious. I want to involve you in ways in which you might not necessarily want to get involved. I want to play off those things that you're expecting to get when the lights go down and the 20th Century Fox logo comes up. There's an audience expectation and I'm interested in how movies play with--and off--that expectation. That's what I'm interested in. Fight Club (1999) - Quotes - IMDb Fight Club (1999) Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war...

our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet.

You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler. Narrator : Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you? Tyler Durden : C'mon, do me this one favor. Tyler Durden : Why? I don't know why; I don't know.

Never been in a fight. You? Narrator : No, but that's a good thing. Tyler Durden : No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve. Narrator : This is crazy. Tyler Durden : So go crazy. Let 'er rip. Narrator : I don't know about this. Tyler Durden : I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care? Narrator : Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you? Tyler Durden : [beat] Surprise me. Narrator : This is so fucking stupid... [Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head] Tyler Durden : Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear! Narrator : Well, Jesus, I'm sorry. Tyler Durden : Ow, Christ... why the ear, man? Narrator : Guess I fucked it up... Narrator : You're making a big mistake, fellas! Police Officer: You said you would say that. Narrator : I'm not Tyler Durden!

Police Officer: You told us you'd say that, too. Narrator : All right then, I'm Tyler Durden. Listen to me, I'm giving you a direct order. We're aborting this mission right now. Police Officer: You said you would definitely say that. Tyler Durden : [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes? Narrator : So you can breathe. Tyler Durden : Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows. Narrator : That's, um... That's an interesting theory. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C.

A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one. Business woman on plane : Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? Narrator : You wouldn't believe. Business woman on plane : Which car company do you work for? Narrator : A major one. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : [while brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. Richard Chesler : [Reading a piece of paper] The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club? Narrator : [Voice-over] I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine. Richard Chesler : The second rule of Fight Club - is this yours? Narrator : Huh? Richard Chesler : Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?

Narrator : [pauses] Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. [Gets up from the chair] Narrator : [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you. Narrator : [Voice-over] Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. [Snatches the piece of paper from boss' hands] Narrator : [Voice-over] And I used to be such a nice guy. Narrator : Or maybe you shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up. [Phone rings] Narrator : [Into phone] Compliance and Liability...? Marla Singer : My tit's gonna rot off. Narrator : [to boss] Would you excuse me? I need to take this. Tyler Durden : Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!

Narrator : OK. Give me some water! Tyler Durden : Listen, you can run water over your hand and make it worse or... [shouts] Tyler Durden : Look at me... or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn. Narrator : Please let me have it... *Please*! Tyler Durden : First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die. Narrator : [reading] I am Jack's colon. Tyler Durden : I get cancer, I kill Jack. Narrator : Tyler, what the fuck is going on here? Tyler Durden : I ask you for one thing, one simple thing. Narrator : Why do people think that I'm you? Answer me! Tyler Durden : I think you know. Narrator : No, I don't. Tyler Durden : Yes, you do. Why would anyone possibly confuse you with me? Narrator : Uh... I... I don't know. [Random flashbacks] Tyler Durden : It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.

Narrator : There's always that. Narrator : Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was ME! [voice-over] Tyler Durden : Just ask, man. Narrator : What are you talking about? Tyler Durden : [laughs] Three pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask. Tyler Durden : You call me because you need a place to stay. Narrator : Oh, hey, no, no, no, I didn't mean... Tyler Durden : Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask. Narrator : Would - would that be a problem? Tyler Durden : Is it a problem for you to ask? Narrator : Can I stay at your place? Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options [while burning the Narrator's hand with lye] Tyler Durden : Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? Narrator : No, no, I... don't... Tyler Durden : Listen to me!

You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options [to the Narrator who has just fired a warning shot into the window of an explosives filled van] Tyler Durden : WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE! Tyler Durden : Do you know what a duvet is? Narrator : It's a comforter... Tyler Durden : It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then? Tyler Durden : Where'd you go, psycho boy? Narrator : I felt like destroying something beautiful. Narrator : Bob is dead, they shot him in the head! Tyler Durden : You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.

Marla Singer : I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar. Narrator : It was worth every penny. Marla Singer : It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road. [Grabs Narrator's crotch] Marla Singer : Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape. Narrator : Well, then it suits you. Marla Singer : You can borrow it sometime. [after vigorous sex with Tyler Durden] Marla Singer : My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : This is crazy... Tyler Durden : People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it. Narrator : What do you do for a living? Tyler Durden : Why? So you can pretend like you're interested?

Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Narrator : Sounds familiar. Tyler Durden : So I graduate, I call him up long distance, I say "Dad, now what?" He says, "Get a job." Narrator : Same here. Tyler Durden : Now I'm 25, make my yearly call again. I say Dad, "Now what?" He says, "I don't know, get married." Narrator : I can't get married, I'm a 30 year old boy. Tyler Durden : We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need. Lou : [Lou hits Tyler in the face] Do you hear me now?

Tyler Durden : No, I didn't quite catch that, Lou. [Lou hits Tyler again] Tyler Durden : Still not getting it. [Lou hits Tyler a few more times] Tyler Durden : Okay, I got it. Shit, I lost it. [Lou continues to beat up Tyler] Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : Tyler, I'm grateful to you; for everything that you've done for me. But this is too much. I don't want this. Tyler Durden : What do you want? Wanna go back to the shit job, fuckin' condo world, watching sitcoms? Fuck you, I won't do it. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : [to the police chief] Hi. You're going to call off your rigorous investigation. You're going to publicly state that there is no underground group. Or... these guys are going to take your balls. They're going to send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times press-release style. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on.

We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us. Narrator : [Tyler steers the car into the opposite lane and accelerates] What are you doing? Tyler Durden : Guys, what would you wish you'd done before you died? Ricky : Paint a self-portrait. Tyler Durden : [to Narrator] And you? Narrator : I don't know. Turn the wheel now, come on! Tyler Durden : You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? Narrator : I don't know, I wouldn't feel anything good about my life, is that what you want to hear me say? Fine. Come on! Tyler Durden : [the Narrator is trying to disarm a car bomb of nitroglycerin] You don't know which wire to pull. Narrator : I know everything you do, so if you know I know. Tyler Durden : Or maybe, since I knew you'd know I spent all days thinking about the wrong wires.

[Narrator pauses] Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Richard Chesler : Get the fuck out of here, you're fired! Narrator : I have a better solution. You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, my job will be never to tell people these things that I know. I don't even have to come into the office, I can do this job from home. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway. Tyler Durden : I look around, I look around, I see a lot of new faces. [crowd laughing] Tyler Durden : Shut up. Which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules of Fight Club.

[while narrator is on the phone] Tyler Durden : Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions. Tyler Durden : OK: any historic figure. Narrator : I'd fight Gandhi. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : This is your pain. This is your burning hand. It's right here. Look at it. Narrator : I'm going to my cave. I'm going to my cave and I'm going to find my power animal. Tyler Durden : No! Don't deal with this the way those dead people do. Deal with it the way a living person does. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Tyler Durden : All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not. Narrator : Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer : Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator : My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer : Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering] Airport Security Officer : it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo. Narrator : I don't own... Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : We have front row seats for this theatre of mass destruction. The demolitions committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes primary charges will blow base charges and a few square blocks will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this, because Tyler knows this. [First lines. Tyler points a gun into the Narrator's mouth] Narrator : [voiceover] People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden. Tyler Durden : Three minutes. This is it - ground zero. Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion? Narrator : ...i... ann... iinn... ff... nnyin... [voiceover] Narrator : With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.

[Tyler removes the gun from the Narrator's mouth] Narrator : I can't think of anything. [voiceover] Narrator : For a second I totally forgot about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing and I wonder how clean that gun is. Narrator : I know it seems like I have more than one side sometimes... Marla Singer : More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass! Narrator : I've found a new one. For men *only*. Marla Singer : Oh, is it a testicle thing? Narrator : Martha Stewart. Tyler Durden : Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins.

If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen. Tyler Durden : In the industry, we call them "cigarette burns." Narrator : That's the cue for a changeover. He flips the projectors, the movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea. Tyler Durden : Why would anyone want this shit job? Narrator : Because it affords him other interesting opportunities. Tyler Durden : Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films. Share this: Facebook | Twitter | Permalink Hide options Narrator : Oh, yeah, Chloe... Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody. Chloe : Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time.

I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite... [the group leader takes the mic] Group Leader : Thank you, Chloe... everyone, let's thank Chloe. Narrator : [V.O] This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits. [Camera pans to a REMAINING MEN TOGETHER sign] Narrator : [V.O] This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me... that was Bob. Robert 'Bob' Paulson : We're still men. Narrator : [slightly muffled due to Bob's enormous breasts] Yes, we're men. Men is what we are. [V.O] Narrator : Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit... Robert 'Bob' Paulson : They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid. Narrator : [V.O] Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.

Urban Dictionary: Rules of Fight Club Rules of Fight Club 1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB. 2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB. 3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over. 4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight. 5th RULE: One fight at a time. 6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes. 7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to. 8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight. Example 1) Joe: Have you Ever heard of fight club? Ben: Rule #1 Bitch. Joe: Have you Ever heard of fight club? Ben: Rule #2 Bitch. Jack: RULE 3! RULE 3! Paul: WHAT!? I don't understand you! Jack: STOP! Paul: And that is how we learn. Example 4) Jacob & Bob: We are gonna kick your ass Ned! Tyler: RULE 4! Jim & Robert: Can we fight also? Tyler: RULE 5! John: Wanna know how this place isn't like a store? Sal: How?

Question: What's the first rule of Fight Club?
Answer: Do not talk about Fight Club