Mae West - Wikiquote Mae West Jump to: navigation , search Why don't you come up sometime and see me? When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm better. When you got the personality, you don't need the nudity. Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie. Response to an exclamation, "Goodness! What lovely diamonds!" in Night After Night (1932). She later used Goodness had nothing to do with it as the title of her autobiography (1953). Why don't you come up sometime and see me? … Come on up, I'll tell your fortune. She Done Him Wrong (1933) Beulah, Peel me a grape. I'm No Angel (1933) I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported. I'm No Angel (1933) When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm better. I'm No Angel (1933) Interview in Life magazine (18 April 1969) It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

I'm No Angel (1933) Between two evils, I generally like to pick the one I never tried before. Klondike Annie (1936) Sometimes quoted as: "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."' A man in the house is worth two in the street. Belle of the Nineties When women go wrong, men go right after them. She Done Him Wrong One and one is two; two and two is four; and "five will get you ten" if you work it right! My Little Chickadee I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time. Myra Breckinridge To a young actor: How tall are you without your horse? Six foot, seven inches. Never mind the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches! Myra Breckinridge I'm the kinda girl who works for Paramount by day, and Fox all night Sextette To her British lover about to climb in bed with 80-something Mae: She said that she hoped soon to be able to say what Paul Revere said — 'The British are coming'. This was the last one-liner Mae ever uttered on film.

Sextette When you got the personality, you don't need the nudity. Quoted in "For Women, Monologues They Haven't Heard" by Susan Pomerance, Dramaline Publications (1985) Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. #149 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. #684 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne I've been in more laps than a napkin. #685 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. #832 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs. When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.

- Mae West - BrainyQuote When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. Find on Amazon: Mae West Cite this Page: Citation Quotes by Comedian and Actress Mae West By Jone Johnson Lewis Updated August 14, 2016. Mae West was best known as a comedian and actress whose bawdy plays and movies were full of double entendres and attracted the attention of industry censors. Less well known is her role as writer in many productions. Her film career -- mainly at Paramount in the 1930s -- seemed to stop in 1943, but she returned in the 1970s for Myra Breckinridge, a cult classic, and Sextette. Selected Mae West Quotations • I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it. • If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning. • I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it. • When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm better. • Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

• It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. • I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action. • I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. • It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it. continue reading below our video What are the Seven Wonders of the World • I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. • When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. • Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. • I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. • Why don't you come on up and see me sometime -- when I've got nothin' on but the radio. • Why don't you come up sometime and see me? I'm home every evening. Come up. I'll tell your fortune. Ah, you can be had. • Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.

• She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. • When women go wrong, men go right after them. • There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out. • Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? • Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? • It is better to be looked over than overlooked. • Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you. • To err is human, but it feels divine. • Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. • I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better. • Sex is emotion in motion. • Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office. • Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often. • I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady. • You're never too old to become younger. • I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. • I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night. • I never worry about diets.

The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. • A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. • Love thy neighbor -- and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier. • It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. • It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. • Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from. • A man in the house is worth two in the street. • A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book. • A hard man is good to find. • Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired. • Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. • A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. • An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. • Don't keep a man guessing too long -- he's sure to find the answer somewhere else. • Look your best -- who said love is blind?

• Flattery will get you everywhere. • I've been things and seen places. • I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit. • The score never interested me, only the game. • Men are my hobby. If I ever got married I'd have to give it up. • So many men... so little time. • I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported. • Personally, I like two types of men - domestic and foreign. • I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without. • I only have 'yes' men around me. Who needs 'no' men? • Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain. • Some men are all right in their place -- if they only knew the right places! • I like a man who's good, but not too good -- for the good die young, and I hate a dead one. • I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time. • Men are easy to get but hard to keep. • Men? Sure, I've known lots of them. But I never found one I liked well enough to marry.

Besides, I've always been busy with my work. Marriage is a career in itself and to make a success of it you've got to keep working at it. So until I can give the proper amount of time to marriage, I'll stay single. • His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork. • He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. • Don't marry a man to reform him -- that's what reform schools are for. • Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring. • It takes two to get one in trouble. • Too many girls follow the line of least resistance -- but a good line is hard to resist. • Good women are no fun. The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross . And all she ever made was a flag. • Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. • Diamonds is my career. • When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin. • No gold-digging for me. I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.

• You can do what you want, but saving love doesn't bring any interest. • Any time you got nothing to do and lots of time to do it, come on up. • Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. • Kiss and make up -- but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss. • Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em. • Some women pick men to marry -- and others pick them to pieces. • Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins. • Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them. • Cultivate your curves -- they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided. • I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them. • The curve is more powerful than the sword. • I've been in more laps than a napkin. • I'd like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do. • I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. • Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself. • Don't ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays.

• Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important. • The best way to behave is to misbehave. • You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. More Women's Quotes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W XYZ About These Quotes Quote collection assembled by Jone Johnson Lewis . Each quotation page in this collection and the entire collection © Jone Johnson Lewis. This is an informal collection assembled over many years. I regret that I am not be able to provide the original source if it is not listed with the quote.

Mae West - Biography - IMDb Biography Showing all 112 items Jump to: Overview (5) | Mini Bio (2) | Spouse (1) | Trade Mark (5) | Trivia (48) | Personal Quotes (46) | Salary (5) Overview (5) 5' (1.52 m) Mini Bio (2) Mae West was born in Queens, New York, to "Battling Jack" West and Matilda Doelger. She began her career as a child star in vaudeville, and later went on to write her own plays, including "SEX", for which she was arrested. Though her first movie role was a small part in Night After Night (1932), her scene has become famous. A coat check girl exclaims, "Goodness! What lovely diamonds!", after seeing Mae's jewelry. Mae replies, "Goodness had nothing to do with it". Her next film, in which she starred, came the following year. She Done Him Wrong (1933) was based on her earlier and very popular play, "Diamond Lil".

She went on to write and star in seven more films, including My Little Chickadee (1940) with W.C. Fields . Her last movie was Sextette (1978), which also came from a play. She died two years later. Rampant double entendres. Trivia (48) Hollywood's outrageous, self-proclaimed psychic Criswell predicted in 1955 that she would win the 1960 Presidential election, and would fly to the moon in 1965 with him and friend Liberace !. After two years of denying that she had ever been married, West admitted in a reply to a legal interrogatory in 1937 that she and Frank Wallace had married in 1911. During her divorce trial in 1942, she testified that they had lived together only "several weeks". According to actor Tony Curtis , her famous walk originated while beginning her career as a stage actress. Special six-inch platforms were attached to her shoes to increase the height of her stage presence.

Her walk literally was "one foot at a time." During World War II, United States Navy and Army pilots and crewmen in the Pacific named their inflatable life vests after her, supposedly because of her well-endowed attributes. The term "Mae West" for a lifejacket continues to this day. She was with George Raft in both her first ( Night After Night (1932)) and last ( Sextette (1978)) film. Appears on sleeve of The Beatles "Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". West at first declined to be pictured on the cover ("What would I be doing in a lonely hearts club?!"), but reconsidered when the Beatles sent her a handwritten personal request. Former Beatle Ringo Starr appeared with West in Sextette (1978). He was unpleasantly surprised at first, at all the attention given her on the set (usually reserved for pop stars like The Beatles ), but came to admire West during the shoot, and praised her afterwards. Is sometimes credited with originating the Shimmy (a once-popular dance).

Was banned from NBC Radio after a guest appearance in 1937 with Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy that was loaded with flirtatious dialogue and double-entendres. She returned to the network as a guest on the "Perry Como Show" in 1949. She was famous for her morning enemas, which she claimed made her skin like silk and left her "smelling sweet at both ends". On the set of her last film Sextette (1978), co-star Tony Curtis claimed that she was given an enema after being made up, at approximately 11:00 in the morning, as the last step of her preparations before going before the camera. According to psychic Kenny Kingston , she wrote all her plays while in a trance. Her films are credited with single-handedly saving failing and debt-ridden Paramount Pictures from bankruptcy in the early 1930s. Was named #15 Actress on The American Film Institutes 50 Greatest Screen Legends At one point, her chauffeur was Jerry Orbach (who is best known for playing Detective Lennie Briscoe on all four "Law & Order" television series).

Is portrayed by Ann Jillian in Mae West (1982) and by Gloria Gray in Marlene (2000) One of the first women to consistently write the movies she starred in. Playing opposite Ed Wynn in Arthur Hammerstein 's "Sometime," with music by Rudolf Friml , she introduced the shimmy to the Broadway stage in 1918. The dance requires hardly any movement of the feet but continuous movement of the shoulders, torso and pelvis. She had seen the dance at black cafés in Chicago. Once when she was scheduled to play a theater in New Haven, Conneticut, the theater's management refused to let her go on because her act was too "risqué" and canceled the show. Disappointed, Yale University students rioted and wrecked the theater. Eldest of three children of John Patrick West, an occasional prizefighter and livery-stable owner, and Matilda Delker Doelger, a one-time corset and fashion model. A baby girl died before Mae was born the after Mae there was another girl and a boy.

During World War II, Miss West's name was applied to various pieces of military equipment and was thus listed in Webster's New International Dictionary, Second Edition. The Royal Air Force named its inflatable lifejackets "Mae Wests", and United States Army soldiers referred to twin-turreted combat tanks also as "Mae Wests". Was not a smoker or a drinker. Died apparently of natural causes in the wake of a mild stroke she suffered three months prior that left her speech impaired. Also suffered from diabetes the last 15 years of her life. She was born Mary Jane West in the Bushwick section of Brooklyn. Mae's father, John Patrick "Jack" West, was a featherweight prizefighter called "Battling Jack" West, and later a stable master; he was of English and Irish descent (his own mother was an Irish immigrant). Mae's mother, Matilda Decker Doelger, was an immigrant from Germany. Turned down a role in Elvis Presley 's film Roustabout (1964), which eventually went to Barbara Stanwyck . Was at one point Hollywood's highest paid star.

Surrealist artist Salvador Dalí created one of his most iconic works influenced by her: "Mae West's Lips Sofa" (1937). The Coca-Cola bottle was said to have been designed with Mae West's figure as inspiration. There is a photo in fundamentalist preacher Billy Sunday's autobiography (circa 1932) of Billy Sunday and Mae West pouring out a bottle of beer into the river. Was in consideration for the part of Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard (1950) but Gloria Swanson , who went on to receive a Best Actress Oscar nomination for her performance, was cast instead. Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 1560 Vine Street in Hollywood, California. Although critics thought that she and W.C. Fields worked well together on camera, West reputedly did not admire him. In April 1927, West was convicted of "producing an immoral play", the title of which was Sex. She was sentenced to ten days in jail in New York City, but was given one day off for good behavior. Critic George Jean Nathan once called her "The Statue of Libido". When W.C.

Fields called her "My little broodmare", she almost hit him. Guido Deiro claims that West married his father, Guido Deiro , in 1914 under an assumed name, Catherine Mae Belle West, and on the condition of secrecy. West left Deiro in 1916, and "divorced" him on 9 November 1920. Singer Miss Beverly Arden , sister of Mae West. The comedy entitled "Sex" she wrote in 1926 revived in NY, off Broadway, Dec. 1999. Graduated from Brooklyn's Erasmus Hall High School in 1911, as did silent film star Norma Talmadge. She had a double thyroid. Her doctor wanted her to have one of her thyroids surgically removed, but she refused as the double thyroid was not affecting her health in the slightest. A "Mae West" is a slang term for type of parachute malfunction called a "lineover" in which the suspension lines divide the main canopy into two sections, lending the appearance of a huge brassiere.

Made her Broadway debut on September 22, 1911, at the New York Folies Bergère, co-owned by Jesse L. Lasky . Twenty-one years later, West signed with Paramount Pictures, which was co-founded by Lasky. Had a chimpanzee she named Coffee that she gave to her friend Ralph Helfer , renowned animal trainer and Hollywood animal behaviorist who owned the "Africa U.S.A." Exotic Animal Ranch in Soledad Canyon, California. Her frank, sexual innuendo-laced play "Sex" opened at Daly's 63rd Street Theatre on April 26, 1926. Ironically, that theatre had been built twelve years earlier by two Christian societies - the People's Pulpit and the International Bible Student's Association - that had intended it to be used for the presentation of biblical films and lectures. Lent her name to life preservers, art, graphs, album covers, statues, table radios, songs, etc. Is mentioned in Cole Porter's song "Anything Goes" from a musical of the same name. Her father built a stage for her in the basement of their house in Brooklyn. Her mother had wanted to be an actress.

Personal Quotes (46) It's better to be looked over than overlooked. A hard man is good to find. Men are my life, diamonds are my career! When women go wrong, men go right after them! When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before. When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better. Marriage is a great institution. I'm not ready for an institution. It's not the man in your life that counts. It's the life in your man. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? I believe in censorship. After all, I made a fortune out of it. I only like two kinds of men: Foreign and Domestic. Too much of a good thing is wonderful. I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing. Don't marry a man to reform him. That's what reform schools are for. It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it.

It ain't sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any. Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is. Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere else. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired. On desire: Sex is an emotion in motion....love is what you make it and who you make it with. I do all my writing in bed; everybody knows I do my best work there. To err is human, but it feels divine. Few men know how to kiss well. Fortunately, I've always had time to teach them. I always save one boyfriend for a rainy day . . . and another in case it doesn't rain. Why don't you come up sometime and see me? I'm home every evening . . . Come up, and I'll tell your fortune. I freely chose the kind of life I led because I was convinced that a woman has as much right as a man to live the way she does if she does no actual harm to society.

The man I don't like doesn't exist. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it. I'm not good and tired, just tired. Men are easy to get but hard to keep. [on style] It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. [on love] A man's kiss is his signature. [on growth] He who hesitates is a damn fool. A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. [on Marilyn Monroe ] The only gal who came near to me in the sex appeal department was pretty little Marilyn Monroe . All the others had were big boobs. My advice for those gals who think they have to take their clothes off to be a star is: baby, once you've boned, what's left to create an illusion? Let 'em wonder.I never believed in givin' 'em too much of me. I'm my own original creation. I concentrate on myself most of the time.

That's the only way a person can become a star in the true sense. I never wanted a love that meant surrender of my self-possession. I saw what it did to other people when they loved another person the way I loved myself, and I didn't want that problem. I had to stay in command of my career. [on her popularity within the gay community] They're crazy about me 'cause I give 'em a chance to play. My character is sexy and with humor and they like to imitate me, the things I say, the way I say 'em, the way I move. It's easy for'em to imitate me 'cause the gestures are exaggerated, flamboyant, sexy, and that's what they want to look like, feel like. And I've stood up for 'em. They're good kids. I don't like the police abusin' 'em, and in New York I told 'em, 'When you're hittin' one of those guys, you're hittin' a woman, 'cause a born homosexual is a female in a male body. Almost anything goes, anywhere, if it is good and fast and amusing.

Risque material is only offensive if badly done, without style and charm. I brought my own sophisticated ideas and style to the vaudeville stage but I had to adjust it to the standard of each theatre, and even to each night's audience.. The theatre manager,if he was a man with experience and knew his business, could usually tell me what the people in town were like, and what the difference in audiences was on other nights.I usually found that one night a week you would get a top society crowd, and another night you'd get mostly working-class people. Other nights there would be family groups - especially on Friday nights when the kids didn't have to go to school the next day. Saturday nights everybody was out for a good time, so audiences were both mixed and terrific. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Virtue has its own reward, but has no sale at the box office.

I was in the office at Paramount, and they gave me a large book with a lot of photographs of different leading men, and I was sitting at a table or a desk right near the window and the door, and uh, after I looked at a few I kind of glanced out the window and I saw this good-looking guy walk across the street. So, I said, "That's about the best-looking thing in Hollywood: who is he?" So they looked, and they said, "Oh, that's Cary Grant. We haven't used him in a picture as yet, but we made tests of him with some of the starlets." I said, "Well, if this guy can talk, I'll take him." So they called him in, and we met, and he said, "How d'ya do?" and I said, "OK." And they said, "What part?" and I said, "The lead, of course." So he got the lead. 'Beulah peel me a grape'. Salary (5) When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad ... | MetaTalk Random When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad ...

March 17, 2008 3:32 AM Subscribe I offer an unqualified apology to Malor and anyone else who might have been offended by my comments . I was appalled as I re-read some of my last few comments in that thread. I value MeFi in general - and the finance threads specifically - very much due to the high signal to noise ratio. I fear that some of my comments may have increased the denominator and for that I apologise. I should be able - and generally am - capable of entertaining different views and, if not driving towards consensus, than at least disagreeing amicably. I'm generally better at sensing when I'm pushing folks too hard and backing off or changing tact to achieve consensus. This time I failed at both initiatives and for that I apologise. It was not and never is my iniative to stifle debate or the expression of views, and if any of my comments were perceived that way I apologise. I value all contributions to these threads, Malor's specifically. I've pointed this out before, and I will say this again - he & I agree far more than we disagree. Once again, if my comments had the effect of surpressing the free exchange of views, I apologise.

There were lots of reasons why I wasn't on top of my game yesterday; none are germane to MeFi or that thread, and should not be interpreted as an excuse for my behaviour, but : crappy ass weather here in London, someone leached our high speed broadband for six days last week and because they downloaded 30GB of OnlyTheGoodLordKnowsWhat we're capped at 56kps for the next week, construction work on The Tube made it impossible for us to leave The Ghetto yesterday to see a Bansky show in Kensington, changes to non-dom tax rules means our bills have sharply increased unless we leave England, Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs suddenly decided to increase the duty levied on MP3 players I import from China, because of booming sales we have to register our business for VAT which is a total PIA, due to the bandwidth leaching we had to migrate away from WEP and now the entire second floor of our flat is off the wireless LAN as the older Macs run OS X 10.2 and can't speak PKA, all day yesterday I was having problems using Carbon Copy Cloner to get 10.4 onto the older Macs, Tower Hamlets Council is hassling me about

 the security gates I installed on my flat eight years ago, I guess I could work in a few more issues of a highly personal nature that some of you might find disgusting but I'll just stop here ...

I like to think it hasn't happened before, but I can say with certainty that iit won't happen again folks. I'm aware there are some interesting points added to that thread after my last comment, but I'm late for work, and as Monday's are busy meeting days for me I will have to revisit the thread later this evening. Take care Mutant posted by Mutant to Etiquette/Policy at 3:32 AM (54 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite Can you point me to the offending comments, please? All I saw was a bunch of stuff about financial markets before my eyes glazed over. posted by UbuRoivas at 4:02 AM on March 17, 2008 Mutant, I found your comments to be almost 100% interesting and informative. Towards the end, sure, it got pretty tiresome watching you and Malor argue over what seemed to my outsider's perspective, almost pure semantics, but I don't think that either of you went over the line. (though I really wish that the two of you could have agreed to disagree re: definition of "bubble")...

posted by gregvr at 4:21 AM on March 17, 2008 I'm not offended by your comments in that thread. I'm offended that you're a 14k'r and yet you signed your fucking post. posted by item at 4:33 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 2 favorites ] What's a 14 k'r? posted by gregvr at 4:44 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 1 favorite ] Yes, it was quite civil, and I loved the historical parallels (and I just like saying "tulip mania"!). A bit of a tedious quarrel over definitions, but nothing to castigate yourself over, methinks. If nothing else, thanks for the insightful comments, the both of you! posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:49 AM on March 17, 2008 1/28th of a retirement fund.

posted by Skorgu at 4:50 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 1 favorite ] A 14k'er is a user with a user ID between 14000 and 14999 inclusive. posted by mkb at 4:54 AM on March 17, 2008 also, don't offend Mutant too much, or he'll burn your house down. posted by mkb at 4:55 AM on March 17, 2008 Mutant, I'd rather read you grumpily nitpick over economic semantics than anything a lot of other people have to say on any subject. I can think of few people in any field with the inside knowledge you have who debate so openly with amateurs and are as ready to acknowledge they themselves might not know all the answers. Besides, it was interesting to see the collision in that thread. Malor sees the sky falling in, believes that certain economics professionals are responsible and so is uninterested in changing his language from lay usage to insider usage. You are the insider for whom accurate use of the terminology is a prerequisite for a certain amount of respect.

For him the word 'bubble' is a way of linking today to disasters of the past, for you, it is a piece of your overall understanding. Unreconcilable. And sorry to read what I assume is a reference to piles. posted by Busy Old Fool at 5:42 AM on March 17, 2008 After a series of seemingly endless high-profile account closings and narcissistic callouts, this classy apology is a breath of fresh air. Thanks for showing us how its done, Mutant. posted by googly at 5:52 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 2 favorites ] I tried really really hard to get offended by anything you wrote Mutant. I couldn't manage it. Protip: Try being less coherent, USE CAPS and draw allusions between members of Malor's family and farmyard animals. If that doesn't do it, I usually fall back on the word "cock-breath." posted by Jofus at 5:57 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 2 favorites ] Huh? I have no idea what you're apologizing for.

You were argumentative, sure, but that's what MeFi is all about, as long as it's done on the level of clashing ideas rather than personal insults, and this was definitely the former. I think Busy Old Fool analyzed your and Malor's disagreement very well, and for what it's worth I thought you had the better of it (I hate when people say "The hell with your definitions and numbers, this is no time to be picky, the sky is falling!"). But it's certainly better to err on the side of politeness, so good for you for caring. posted by languagehat at 7:00 AM on March 17, 2008 Am I the only one who copy and pasted the ever-tinier list of complaints to see what it said? Yes? Okay, carry on then. posted by sugarfish at 7:04 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 1 favorite ] Classy apology, although I think it's unnecessary. I, too, think you had the better of it, presenting not only the more measured, but also the more referenced view.

posted by OmieWise at 7:26 AM on March 17, 2008 What Omie said. posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:28 AM on March 17, 2008 Also, could you please show up in this thread ? Thanks. posted by languagehat at 7:28 AM on March 17, 2008 I love financial threads precisely because of the level of discourse and the variety of opinions. I personally oscillate in my opinion of Malor between: "The guy's nuts, grab 'im!" and "Preach on, brother!" But Mutant, I've always found you to be erudite and insightful. Either way, I praise the differences and cheer the disagreements. There is no black and white truth, but goddamn it if there isn't some shred of civilization and mutual respect in those threads that makes them better than ten times (by volume) all the Obama, Iraq, and the rest of the newsfilter ilk combined. posted by Eideteker at 7:33 AM on March 17, 2008 What Eideteker said.

posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:41 AM on March 17, 2008 Mutant, you are being overly self-critical. I don't see anything inappropriate with your comments. The finance threads are interesting for me to read. There are a lot of comments from people who are putting time and effort into discussing a topic and that is appreciated. Now if we could only get rid of the dumbasses who clearly have nothing to contribute but Chicken Little screaming and predictions of post-apocalyptic wastelands every time futures are down... then those threads would be a real joy of Metafilter. posted by dios at 7:45 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 1 favorite ] Chicken Little screaming and predictions of post-apocalyptic wastelands every time futures are down... I'm no economist, but isn't that part of the game? posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:57 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 1 favorite ] I'd like to offer my unqualified apology for flunking my Apology Qualification Certification Exam.

posted by cortex (staff) at 7:58 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 1 favorite ] I'd offer my condolences but I'm not a licensed condoler. posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:05 AM on March 17, 2008 You can get a temporary permit for that. It even comes with a side of steamed short-grain; 'condol-leaser rice', the dish is called. posted by cortex (staff) at 8:19 AM on March 17, 2008 [ 3 favorites ] Get out. posted by flashboy at 8:23 AM on March 17, 2008 "Also, could you please show up in this thread? Thanks." I was kind of hoping for that too. posted by 517 at 8:23 AM on March 17, 2008 Ouch, cortex...still not quite at ricer car levels...

posted by StrikeTheViol at 8:26 AM on March 17, 2008 Looking over your comments, I don't think you have anything to apologize for, Mutant. It is possible to stridently disagree with someone and still maintain a respectful air. (not suggesting that you have been strident, just making a point), if you ever crossed into outright disrespect, I didn't see it. Now, next time, when you really want to be offensive, I'd suggest referencing your cock. Several times. Only at the end do you reveal that you are a talking about your pet male chicken, and when people get pissy about it, call them out for being sexist. Then, suggest that the admins are somehow at fault, and that you are being persecuted for your strange sense of humor. See if you can get called out in two different MeTa threads in a single day, and then you will know that you are starting to get under people's skins. Till then, you should be fine. I do tip my hat to your effort though. It's good that you care enough to apologize for a perceived slight, even if none was apparent. I think it says good things about your character.

posted by quin at 8:45 AM on March 17, 2008 Mutant, your contributions to financial threads are invaluable. Please keep up the good work. Also thirding what Eideteker said. posted by Fuzzy Monster at 8:52 AM on March 17, 2008 Not to put too fine a point on it Quin, but if he references cocks he must use "a bucket of...". Otherwise it's just plain tacky. agreed with the above, thought your comments were insightful and well argued. MORE!PLZ! posted by Wilder at 8:55 AM on March 17, 2008 "You can get a temporary permit for that. It even comes with a side of steamed short-grain; 'condol-leaser rice', the dish is called." Sounds nice, my mom always told me "never obtain chit where you eat". posted by kuujjuarapik at 8:58 AM on March 17, 2008 You had nothing to apologize for, Mutant.

Malor posts a chicken little post every time the financial markets take a bump, and has for several years. It's good to provide a clear, documented counterpoint to such nonsense, lest people get scared and dump all their money under the mattress. posted by felix at 9:16 AM on March 17, 2008 Wait, wait. Back up. Why is the bear stern? posted by cowbellemoo at 9:48 AM on March 17, 2008 Never mind that. Where is my beer stein? posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:04 AM on March 17, 2008 You left it with the Berenstains. posted by cortex (staff) at 10:13 AM on March 17, 2008 Ugh another money thread about Ben Stein. posted by Mister_A at 10:17 AM on March 17, 2008 'condol-leaser rice' posted by middleclasstool at 10:23 AM on March 17, 2008 Hey, try a little compassionate conversatism.

posted by cortex (staff) at 10:34 AM on March 17, 2008 *froths* posted by middleclasstool at 11:05 AM on March 17, 2008 *makes latte* posted by kuujjuarapik at 11:53 AM on March 17, 2008 felix writes "t's good to provide a clear, documented counterpoint to such nonsense, lest people get scared and dump all their money under the mattress." Whew! *pulls out $9.18 from under the mattress* Think I'm gonna buy some gold with this! posted by krinklyfig at 12:14 PM on March 17, 2008 You guys are all drunk because it is St Baldrick's day. posted by Nick Verstayne at 12:27 PM on March 17, 2008 I have a cunning retirement plan.

posted by cortex (staff) at 1:02 PM on March 17, 2008 This isn't an afternoon special until Malor comes in and they drink tea together. And I have also made some lousy comments lately. A hell of a lot worse and meaner than Mutant's. No excuses really, not worth opening a new thread for. Just keep in mind, if you're offended by what I post, that my brain is garbage. posted by Deathalicious at 1:20 PM on March 17, 2008 I got worms. posted by vronsky at 1:24 PM on March 17, 2008 You got 'em from the Diet of Worms, amirite? posted by languagehat at 1:49 PM on March 17, 2008 No, a friend and I are opening a pet store and that's what we're gonna call it. I got worms! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.

posted by vronsky at 2:10 PM on March 17, 2008 Mutant, though I didn't see the comments in question, I generally like what you contribute to those threads. I like how you usually bring a measured response to what can be mostly hysterical conversations. Knowing what you do for a living, your comments are the ones I always scan the financial threads for and I think you should post more. posted by triggerfinger at 2:11 PM on March 17, 2008 We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. Good luck with that! posted by ericb at 2:26 PM on March 17, 2008 Everybody buys the worm farm someday. posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:37 PM on March 17, 2008 Mutant, you're one of the most intersting contributors here on (among other things) finance. We could all do with a bit more of listening to people who do this shit for a living.

I did follow the thread and was going to pitch on on the 100x point (notional swap amounts, I thought) but decided that I didn't want to put my take in Malor's mouth. I feel strongly that you have nothing to apologise for. posted by dmt at 2:57 PM on March 17, 2008 Am I the only one who copy and pasted the ever-tinier list of complaints to see what it said? Thanks! I was wondering how anyone was able to read that.

*throws away magnifying glass* *applauds Mutant for his classiness* *sees if he can type any smaller than this* *yay, looks like I can, and I figured it out all on my own!* posted by hadjiboy at 10:46 PM on March 17, 2008 ▯▯▯ ▯▯▯▯ ▯ ▯▯▯▯▯▯ ▯▯▯ ▯ ▯▯ ▯▯▯▯ ▯▯▯▯ ▯▯▯ posted by ryanrs at 11:18 PM on March 17, 2008 Wow many thanks for the kind words folks - much appreciated! posted by Mutant at 2:57 AM on March 18, 2008 Late to the thread, but I'd also like to mention that I enjoy reading Mutant's point of view on things. I don't think you were making any personal attacks in the thread, Mutant, but I enjoy the way you start 'Sir'-ing people when you're riled.

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