The Voice of Time | Industry News - Celebrities | Voices.com Blog Recently, Sara Mendes da Costa of Brighton in the UK was chosen out of nearly 18,500 candidates to become the voice of time for British Telecom’s Speaking Clock. Want to know what time it is? If you’re in the UK, you know that all you need to do is dial up the Speaking Clock to find out the exact time of day. This comes from the same country that has talking parking meters , as we have covered in the past. While this concept may seem strange to us over in North America, the British people have had this talking clock system for 70 years. The clock itself started up in July of 1936 and has been telling the time ever since. About every 20 years or so, a new voice is hired to record for the talking clock. This time around, the person chosen to be the voice of the Speaking Clock was author and part time voice over artist Sara Mendes da Costa from the south of England.

The BBC published a great article about the decision itself , but I happened to hear a telephone interview with Sara on CBC Radio One’s program As it Happens and heard straight from Sara about why she auditioned, her experience, the casting process, and what it means to her to be the voice of time for all British subjects calling in to BT. Interviewer Carol Off spoke to Sara Mendes da Costa (aired Monday November 20th around 7:15 EST) when I happened to be in the car on a way to a meeting. I was glued to my seat and scribbled down details in the darkness during the 10 minute interview as quickly as my hand could write, not wanting to miss a single detail. The audition consisted of recording a :10 (ten second) audio file that contained the famous phrase “At the third stroke…” to qualify as an entrant for the contest. As with every audition, people always want to know why the chosen talent was picked and also what they may have done that was different to help them stick out from other auditions. Several agencies were involved with the casting.

The first company was in charge of filtering through the responses while others down the line including casting agents, television presenters, and even the voice of the Speaking Clock himself, 77 year old Brian Cobby, were involved with the final casting of the new voice. Sara added a friendly “Hello” to the beginning of her recording, something that was not included in the script. Could she have got them at “Hello” just as RenÃ©e Zellweger did Tom Cruise in the Hollywood film “Jerry Maguire”? The project was in support the BBC’s charity, Children in Need. Ms. Mendes da Costa was not paid for her services, however, she has the enormous honor of being the voice of time and, perhaps, the first voice that someone may ever hear on the telephone. One of the reasons why Sara was so overwhelmed when selected to be the voice of the Speaking Clock is because the very first phone call that Sara made as a child was to the Speaking Clock to find out what time it was, hence, the responsibility she feels as the representative of the Speaking Clock to a new generation of British children and her fellow patriots.

The Speaking Clock was introduced in London, UK and following the success of the clock went nation-wide. Telephonist Jane Cain was the first voice, replaced in 1963 by Pat Simmons and in 1985 by Brian Cobby. Sara Mendes da Costa replaced Brian Cobby in 2006. More than 70 million calls are made to the service each year. To listen to Sara talk about her new job , download the file at the BBC website. Sara, if you’re out there reading this, please leave a comment! Congratulations, Telephones UK - Speaking Clock TELEPHONES UK CALL THE TELEPHONES UK SPEAKING CLOCK SERVICE WITH THE VOICE OF PAT SIMMONS ON 0871 789 3642 Telephones UK has its own popular Speaking Clock Service which features the authentic voice of Pat Simmons . It is a TIM2000 Speaking Clock project designed by Andy Emmerson. The number to directly access the Speaking Clock is 0871 789 3642, if dialling from abroad the number is +44 871 789 3642.

Calls to our Speaking Clock service cost 13p per minute plus your phone company's access charge. When dialled the clock will speak for 90 seconds, you can hang up before this time, but the line will be engaged until the 90 seconds has elapsed. We do aim to provide a reliable service whenever possible, however we cannot guarantee that our speaking clock will always be 100% accurate. If you wish ensure that you receive a guaranteed accurate time check we suggest that you dial the BT speaking clock on 123 (check your BT directory as the number may differ in your telephone area). Should you experience persistent problems, please contact us via our feedback page. Our clock has no connection with the genuine BT Speaking Clock service nor with the THG. During periods of high demand callers may receive either engaged tone or ringing tone when the speaking clock equipment is in use. If this occurs then please redial again, a little later.

THE HISTORY OF THE BT SPEAKING CLOCK THE VOICES OF THE BT SPEAKING CLOCK - UPDATED FEBRUARY 2009 A London telephonist, Jane Cain, also known as Ethel Cain, became the first voice on 24 July 1936 and lasted until 1963. She won a prize of 10 guineas (ï¿½10.50) in a competition to find the right voice. Miss Cain passed away in September 1998, aged 87. LISTEN Miss Pat Simmons, a supervisor in a London telephone exchange became the second voice from 1963 until 1984. Miss Simmons passed away in November 2005, aged 85. LISTEN The third voice, belonged to Brian Cobby who was an assistant supervisor at Withdean exchange in Brighton. He became the first male voice at 11 am on 2nd April 1985 until 8 am on 2nd April 2007.

Brian Cobby, an actor by profession before he joined BT, was selected from 12 finalists in BTï¿½s Golden Voice competition, on 5th December 1984. LISTEN Brian Cobby was born on 12 October 1929 and died 31 October 2012. The present voice, belongs to Sara Mendes da Costa (40) from Brighton & Hove. She became the fourth permanent voice of the BT Speaking Clock at 8 am on 2nd April 2007. Sara won a competition BT ran during October and November 2006 to find a new voice from the public, which had almost 18,500 entrants, simultaneously raising more than ï¿½200,000 for BBC Children in Need. LISTEN more.. The BT Speaking Clock has also been known as TIM (the three-letter code, that subscribers dialled in Director areas). The BT Speaking Clock receives around 70 million calls a year. The BT Speaking Clock has been ticking 24-hours a day, seven days a week since 24th July 1936 and is now 70 years old!

The service was initially only available in the London directory area and was rolled out nationwide in 1942. The Speaking Clock service was named Timeline during the 1990's. Originally the accuracy of the BT Speaking Clock was one-tenth of a second, it is now correct to within five thousandths of a second! There have only been four permanent voices for the BT Speaking Clock. There was also a two week period in March 2003 when Lenny Henry did a special version of the Speaking Clock in aid of Comic Relief and a week long stint by 12 year old Alicia Roland in October 2003. Brian Cobby & Pat Simmons Brian Cobby Before Brian Cobby worked for BT, he recorded the ï¿½5-4-3-2-1ï¿½ Thunderbirds are go!ï¿½ for the theme tune to Gerry Andersonï¿½s TV series! Brian Cobby has received fan mail from ï¿½mature ladiesï¿½ who say they listen to him late at night when they canï¿½t sleep! The longest distance call to the Speaking Clock is from a factory in Hong Kong, which makes handsets for the VideoPlus VCR programming system.

The in-built clock is set to British time, courtesy of BT's Speaking Clock service. The timing of most television programmes is synchronised to the BT Speaking Clock as well, so when your local station goes over to ITN for the News at Ten, this is done "at the third stroke". The worldï¿½s most famous clock, Big Ben, checks its time with the BT Speaking Clock and many major organisations have permanent feeds of the clock from BT into their private internal phone systems so employees can check the time without making an outside call. The 1936 Speaking Clock was an of array of motors, glass discs, photocells and valves and took up the floorspace of a small room! The current Speaking Clock, with a built-in crystal oscillator and microprocessor logic control, the complete apparatus is made of solid-state microchips and occupies no more shelf space than a small suitcase does ï¿½ and has no moving parts at all. Describing the BT Speaking Clock as a National Institution is probably fair, since as a nation we seem to be remarkably keen on ringing up.

Even in its first year, 1936, the service registered nearly 13 million calls and it was not a nationwide service then - that came six years later. Today we make around 100 million calls a year and that's a lot of watches being checked. The original Speaking Clock message was recorded and replayed rather like the optical sound track of a film and the equipment represented the state of the art of current technology in those days. This lasted until 1963, when it was replaced by more modern recording technology, using a magnetic drum. It gave way to the present digital system in 1984 and this has no moving parts at all. The unquestioned accuracy of the Speaking Clock has also led to the association of Accurist Watches, who since the end of March 1986 have sponsored the BT Speaking Clock announcements. With those 100 million calls a year, this may well be the most frequently heard advertising message of all time. But what did people do before the speaking clock was invented if they wanted a time check?

Simple: they rang the operator and asked her the time by the exchange clock on the wall, but this was not precise to the second, nor could the exchange always answer just when the customer wanted. The first genuine speaking clock machine was introduced in the USA in 1927, coming to Paris in 1933, The Hague in 1934 and Switzerland in 1935. But automatic time service (of a Heath-Robinson kind) had been available to telephone users in San Francisco since the late 19th century; by listening to an observatory clock for at least a minute and decoding clicks and single and double buzzes against some detailed instructions you could set a pocket watch-but it helped if you already knew more or less what the time was! A proper speaking clock is far less trouble!

AT THE THIRD STROKEï¿½ LENNY GIVES THE SPEAKING CLOCK THE RED NOSE TREATMENT - March 2003 Between 9 am on 10th March 2003 and 12 noon on 23rd March 2003 Lenny Henry became only the fourth person ever to be the voice of the BT Speaking Clock in its 67-year history. By calling 123 callers helped to raise around ï¿½200,000 for Comic Relief - and, of course, got the most accurate time available. For two weeks Lenny took over from the current voice, Brian Cobby, and added his own special touch to the immortal lines: "At the third stroke, the time from Comic Relief will be ... precisely!" Lenny Henry said, at the time: "I can hardly believe it, but those good people at BT are letting me be the voice of the Speaking Clock for two weeks to raise money for Comic Relief. That's right, me, Lenworth George Henry from Dudley in the West Midlands!

The Speaking Clock is serious stuff - over 100 million calls were made to the Speaking Clock in 2001! - and the time is still going to be 'precisely' right, even when I'm doing the voice! It's a national institution, but you should hear what we've done to the pips!" Lenny's version of the Speaking Clock featured different character voices each day to raise the ï¿½200,000 for Comic Relief. SCHOOLGIRL TAKES OVER THE SPEAKING CLOCK - October 2003 At 1730 BST on 13 October 2003, the current voice of the Speaking Clock, Brian Cobby, was replaced with that of a Scottish schoolgirl for a week. Alicia Roland, 12, from Renfrewshire, was able to utter the famous words "at the third stroke" after winning a competition to become the famous voice. It was the first time that a Scottish accent and a child's voice have been used for BT's Speaking Clock and only the fifth time it has ever been changed.

The idea was part of the Big Listen, a week of activities which encouraged adults to listen to young people and raise money for ChildLine. "AT THE THIRD STROKE..." THE SEARCH FOR A NEW VOICE FOR THE BT SPEAKING CLOCK BEGINS - RAISING VITAL FUNDS FOR BBC CHILDREN IN NEED - OCTOBER 2006 For the first time ever, BT is giving people across the UK the chance to take their place in history and become the new ï¿½permanentï¿½* voice of the BT Speaking Clock ï¿½ and all in aid of BBC Children in Need. A special competition phone line will be open from, Monday 23 October until midnight on Sunday 05 November 2006. The BT Speaking Clock will have a new voice to help celebrate its 70th birthday, while aiming to raise significant funds for the charity. Established in 1936, the Speaking Clock has only ever had three ï¿½permanentï¿½ voices, so the lucky winner will take his or her place in British history.

The UK-wide competition is officially launched by BBC Children in Need and Brian Cobby (77), who has been the voice of the Speaking Clock for almost 21 years. Entry details can be found at bbc.co.uk/pudsey . The new ï¿½permanentï¿½ voice will officially go live on the BT Speaking Clock in the New Year. Sir Terry Wogan says: ï¿½How would you like to be the most listened to voice in the UK? You can be the new BT Speaking Clock, and at the same time help BBC Children In Need. Just by calling 09067 533 533, answering a question about BBC Children in Need, and then recording your own unique version of the Speaking Clock message, you could be in with a chance of winning this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And Iï¿½ll announce the winner on Children In Need's big night, Friday 17th November live on BBC ONE. Letï¿½s be hearing from you!ï¿½ Calls to the competition number will cost no more than ï¿½1.50, with ï¿½1.10 going straight to BBC Children in Need.

Callers must have the permission of whoever pays the phone bill. Every penny raised will help BBC Children in Need provide practical and lasting support to disadvantaged children and young people in the UK. These include youngsters who have experienced homelessness, neglect, abuse or poverty and encountered serious illnesses, disabilities, psychological disorders and addictions. Sir Christopher Bland, chairman of BT, said: ï¿½The BT Speaking Clock is a national treasure. Even though we live in the Digital Age, more than 70 million calls are made each year to the BT Speaking Clock to get an accurate time check. We hope that this competition raises significant funds for BBC Children in Need and celebrates the Speaking Clockï¿½s 70th birthday in style.ï¿½ BT has supported BBC Children in Need since the first televised Appeal in 1980 and handles more than 200,000 calls on the night of the appeal from more than 50 call centres. Brian Cobby, first male voice of speaking clock dies at 83 | Daily Mail Online comments Actor Brian Cobby, who was immortalised as the voice of BT’s speaking clock, has died.

Mr Cobby, 83, of Brighton, was the famous voice of the service for 22 years and died last week following a series of health problems. Clive Cobby, his brother said: 'He was a man of the world, who loved life and lived it to the full. 'He was larger than life. Scroll down for video Brian Cobby was the voice of the speaking clock for 22 years and was the first male to to do it. Brian's recording was replaced by that of Sara Mendes da Costa in 1997 'He never married and some people assumed he was alone, but he had a large family and was very popular. RELATED ARTICLES Share 'In every sense, he was an actor. He was very outgoing.' Mr Cobby had a very successful career prior to becoming the speaking clock from 1984 to 2007. In the sixties, he was known as 'The Voice' and was one of the nation’s best known voiceover artists - launching a thousand soapflakes, prescribing every headache cure known to man and convincing the country they couldn’t tell the difference between Stork and butter.

His recording of 'on the third stroke' was heard an estimated two billion times by users of the speaking clock He also appeared alongside Madonna in the film Evita. Consummate professional Brian took just one hour to record the 86 words that make up the speaking clock’s 8,640 daily announcements. Mr Cobby's voice was heard to say 'on the third stroke' an estimated two billion times and he was regularly stopped in the street and asked the time. Following a kidney transplant 15 years ago and a heart attack last year, his health had been deteriorating and he died at the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton. His funeral will include a show reel of his most famous recordings. Thunderbirds Are Go: Millions fondly remember the dramatic '5.4.3.2.1.' opening sequence of the hit TV show. Mr Cobby provided the voice VIDEO: Brian Cobby - Voice of the Speaking Clock on The One Show Brian Cobby – Actor | The life of Brian Cobby Brian Cobby – Actor The life of Brian Cobby Search Perhaps, gone but not forgotten…..

Born: 12 October 1929 In 1985 Brian became the voice of BT’s speaking clock in the United Kingdom and remained so until April 2007. Calculated Risk (1963) as Police constable Petty criminal Terence Cooper runs into constable Brian Cobby. Reply Famous but Nameless was published in the Weekend Review section of The Times from August 2003 to February 2004. Below are selections from the column. ‘At the third stroke, the time sponsored by Accurist will be…’ The soothing black-velvet tones belong to Brian Cobby, actor, born 1929, the voice of the speaking clock since April 2 1985.

After starting in rep, playing parts in films such as The Dambusters and doing many voice-overs for adverts (‘Can you tell the difference between Stork and butter?’) Brian also achieved pop-culture immortality as the voice of the countdown in Thunderbirds (‘5…4…3…2…1…Thunderbirds are go!’) Over 5000 people entered the 1985 competition to find a new voice for the speaking clock, and of the 12 finalists, 11 were women. Asked what he’d thought of his chances, Brian said ‘I just hoped they would choose a clock with a pendulum.’ The funeral of Brian Cobby, who was the voice of the speaking clock for 22 years, has taken place in Brighton. Mr Cobby, of Hove, East Sussex, died at the age of 83 on 31 October following a series of health problems. He was the voice of the speaking clock from 1985 until 2007 when Sara Mendes da Costa, also of Hove, took over the role. A recording of his voice was being played to mourners at a memorial service at Woodvale Crematorium.

A number of doves were also being released to commemorate Mr Cobby, who reportedly used to receive fan mail from people who used the service late at night just to hear his calm voice. British Telecom began the speaking clock service in 1936. It gets its time from the atomic clocks at the National Physical Laboratory (NPL), the UK’s official time-keeper. Reply A short tribute to Brian from Annesley Abercorn I was saddened to learn of the death of Brian Cobby who recently died aged 83 following a series of health problems. Brian’s voice was heard an estimated 2 billion times between 1985 and 2007 as the official British Telecom Speaking Clock. His unique, crisp, baritone voice as the nation’s Speaking Clock was (and still is) instantly recognisable. He liked to think of himself as ”Briannia’s wristwatch.” Brian’s career spanned many decades as an actor and professional voice-over artist. It was during his time as an assistant supervisor at a British Telecom exchange in Withdean, Brighton in 1984 when he entered a competition which 5,000 people entered to become the nation’s next speaking clock.

He was picked out from 12 finalists. I always wanted to meet the person behind the speaking clock and had the pleasure of meeting Brian for the first time at his home in Brighton back in 2006. I found him to be a decent and kind man with a great sense of humour. It was also fascinating to hear some of his many anecdotes from his acting career. I saw him again a few years later and was pleased to see that he was still doing voice-over work and embarking on other projects. As his voice suggested, he was a true gentleman and a unique character. He will be sorely missed by all that had the privilege of knowing and working with him. From the Argus letters column, thank you Maureen. 9:00am Tuesday 20th November 2012 in Letters I would like to pay tribute to Brian Cobby (The Argus, November 3), the voice of the Speaking Clock for 22 years from 1984 to 2007. Brian and I worked together for BT at Withdean Telephone Exchange in Brighton. We were night telephonists. During that time Brian would talk about his acting career. It was so interesting.

I, as a teenager, was an avid film fan, so much so that I wrote to the film stars of the day for their photo. I remember Brian saying when he was in the Army that he was posted to Germany. While there, he was part of a request programme called Two-Way Family Favourites, a radio show going out on Sunday morning from Britain to overseas forces. The presenter was Jean Metcalfe. Requests would come from the forces to their families and friends back here. I would listen while helping my mum with the Sunday roast. Being the talking clock was a great achievement for Brian. Somebody once told me that when they wanted company they would listen to Brian giving the time precisely. Maureen Grice, Ditcling Road, Brighton World of Chig World of Chig 30.11.06 Departing Gest Shocker! He'd been the favourite until 24 hours ago, when Jason Donovan overtook him, but now David Gest is out of the jungle! I felt sure he'd finish second, but he's fourth. The way is now clear for my new Antipodean chum to win. He came in my post today as well, if you'll forgive the expression.

EMI are using Jason's newly raised profile to release a repackaged Greatest Hits on Monday. Obviously, I've had his previous Greatest Hits CD since it was released in 1991 (and that was free too, as my best friend worked for Warner, who distributed PWL at the time), but if the lovely people at EMI insist on sending me Jason Donovan freebies, I will not complain. (They've used one of my fave classic Jason photos for the new cover too.) PS. After only 24 hours, this blog is NUMBER ONE on Google for David Gest's supposed maid, 'Vaginika Semen'. Result! Hello, Mr Gest. Lovely to have you here... · link This Saturday's X Factor songs Six of the eight songs for this week's X Factor were revealed in tonight's Aftermath show, which also showed Eton Road packing their valises and leaving the house on Monday. (Farewell boys, sob, sob. Love you all, mwah, mwah.) The merciless plugging of MOR artists continues apace, with Barry Manilow this week. Christ on a bike. Two of the songs weren't revealed.

If the MacDonalds don't get votes from the whole of Scotland for this song, I'll eat my kilt. (Happy St. Andrew's Day to you both, and happy birthday to Brian for two days ago. Twenty now. Old enough, if you know what I mean.) If we learnt one thing last Saturday, it's that no one's safe, after Ben did two blinding performances and still ended up in the bottom two. That Leona/Ben final doesn't look so safe anymore, even though the bookies still have them as the top two. My ten pound bet on the MacDonalds at 12/1, before the series started, looks less stupid with every passing week! Theme 1: Barry Manilow Theme 2: Their own choice Leona: Could It Be Magic? / Without You (Nilsson/Mariah Carey) Ray: Mandy / My Way (Frank Sinatra) (Two songs on a stool with no dancing = doomed, surely?) Ben: (Manilow song not revealed.) / Somebody To Love (a cappella) (Queen) MacDonald Bros.

(Manilow song not revealed.) / Shang-A-Lang (Bay City Rollers) Jan Leeming achieves her ambition For the love of Vaginika Semen! Looking good Jan... 17.11.06 Tomorrow's X-Factor songs Only six acts left, with a theme of Number Ones, making 1,046 songs to choose from, and what do they do? They pick two thirds of the available options from Wet Wet Wet. Whatever happened to variety? Once again, the MacDonalds pass up an opportunity to do a decent, uptempo song, and once again I will say that they are doomed to bottom two status. If I keep saying it, one day it will come true. Not that I want it to. I just want them to do an uplifting, rocky song. Tomorrow's Number One songs are: Louis's two-ee: Eton Road - I Don't Feel Like Dancin' (No.1 for Scissor Sisters) MacDonald Bros.

- Love Is All Around (No.1 for Wet Wet Wet) Sharon's chanteurs: Ben - With A Little Help From My Friends (No.1 for Joe Cocker AND Wet Wet Wet AND Sam & Mark) Robert - You Are Not Alone (No.1 for Michael Jackson) Simon's sidekicks: Leona - Bridge Over Troubled Water (No.1 for Simon and Garfunkel) Ray - Livin' La Vida Loca (No.1 for Ricky Martin) This will NOT be performed in a swing style! I'm looking forward to seeing Eton Road do Scissor Sisters. I'm imagining Anthony doing his falsetto Jake Shears impression as I write. I imagine Leona will 'nail' her song too. So, bottom two prediction: Robert and the MacDonalds. Simon will save Robert, the Macs will be gone, and I will have to resort to my DVD of the ABBA show (thank you James!) if I ever want to see Brian MacD's lovely smiley face again. Sigh. I won't be watching the show here at home tomorrow, so there won't be any real time updates. Enjoy! (PS.

Have you read the NOTW's 'revelations' about Eton Road and Ray ? They rehearsed together before the first auditions! There are photos to prove it! Scandal! Not.) · link Time (Clock Of The Heart) It's back to a female voice for the speaking clock. Sara Mendes da Costa is the winner, announced on Children In Need tonight, of the competition to provide the nation's timecheck , 'sponsored by Accurist' for the next twenty years or so. With a name like that, I wonder if she could record the times in Spanish too? BT could offer it as an alternative service. Anyway, she seems very nice, and her voice is warm, yet crystal clear and precise, which is ideal (and probably explains why she works as a voiceover artist). 12.11.06 Congratulations! My lovely friends Jackie and Simon (left) have produced their first baby, today at 00:58. Well done to both of you and best wishes to baby Thomas! (Artist's impression only. Actual baby may differ from the one shown.) · link Third!

I'd just like it to be recorded here for posterity that Aston Villa were third in the Premiership for 24 hours until this afternoon. We're not used to this. We're fourth now, after Arsenal won today and leapfrogged us. Nikitta - The Last Dance (Donna Summer) Ray - Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen) Leona - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (Elton John) Sharon's pair: Ben - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (Aerosmith) Robert - Always And Forever (Heatwave) Louis's groups: MacDonald Bros. - She's The One (Robbie Williams) Eton Road - From Me To You (The Beatles). Four cheeky lads from Liverpool doing a Beatles song? Wonder where that idea came from? Based on that selection and the last weeks' performances, I would expect to see Nikitta and the MacDonalds in the bottom two, or one of them plus Robert again. Nikitta's performance can only evoke unfavourable comparisons with Brenda, who did a brilliant version of the same song last year.

If the last three in this competition aren't Ben, Eton Road and Leona, probably with Ray as fourth, I'll be very surprised. How about you? 20:05 UPDATE (after programme one) Bloody hell! Where did Robert drag that performance from? That was fantastic. I would put him and Leona as my top two; they saved the best two acts for last. (Leona still doesn't appeal to me at all, but her singing tonight was almost faultless.) This week, I'll stick with my pre-show predictions for the bottom two. Nikitta was out of tune again. (Louis must have heard a different performance when he told her, "you nailed it".) The MacDonalds were the best they've ever been, but everyone else except Nikitta was better. The decision will be Sharon's. Hard to predict. The bigger question is...why have ITV swapped Millionaire and Family Fortunes around? LATER UPDATE: I feel sorry for Nikitta, but once again it was the right decision tonight. When three acts were left, including Ray, I was gobsmacked that it wasn't the MacDonalds and Nikitta in the bottom two. I thought Ray was great - again.

Anyone have any ideas why he didn't get the public's votes? Next week's guests are Westlife, with Number Ones the theme. The MacDonalds could do Mull Of Kintyre... · link World's Oldest Woman Found In London Today "How long have you been coming?", asked the BBC's Clare Balding this morning, as she thrust her microphone in the face of an elderly woman watching the Lord Mayor's Show in London. "Every year," replied the spectator, "since it started." To be fair, she was looking pretty good for an 800 year-old . An absolute gem , courtesy of today's Popbitch mailing. Isn't that 'sick man' John Waters?! 8.11.06 He never said. Well, well, well. It was only a month ago yesterday that I met and chatted to the lovely Jason Donovan, and now he's immediately the bookies' favourite to win I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! Funny, he didn't mention it. Once again, it's a strange, yet possibly brilliant, mix of people, but at least there's only one I've never heard of. Step forward, Phina Oruche!

Jan Leeming fulfils the Jenny Frost role by being of minor interest to Eurovision fans. She hosted Eurovision in 1982, after Buck's Fizz had brought the contest home to, er, Harrogate. I like Myleene Klass rather a lot, Toby Anstis is a decent bloke, and David Gest is, er, unusual. TV addicts may recall that all three of these featured in a programme together only a few weeks ago; five's Friday night variety contest for celebs. Myleene co-hosted, Toby was a contestant (as a dancer) and David was a guest judge. Mr. Gest has already put up with Liza Minelli, so a few bugs and snakes shouldn't be any problem. The second best contestant (after Jason) is surely Matt Willis, fulfilling the Antony Costa ex-boyband role. From The Priory to the jungle - it should be very entertaining, especially when they're allowed alcohol. Lauren Booth has the potential to make Tony Blair's exit a little sooner than he planned, if she spills any family secrets; she's his sister-in-law. Finally, I wonder if Faith Brown has learnt to 'do' anyone new since Maggie Thatcher?

We'll find out next week. I'm hooked already. Manchester United are three points clear at the top of the Premiership. They are the holders of the Carling Cup. Southend United are struggling, three points astray at the very bottom of the next league down, the Championship. Yesterday, Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated twenty years in charge of Man United , in an age where the average length of tenure for a Premiership manager is just over one year. So how did his team of pampered millionaires repay him tonight in their Carling Cup game? They were knocked out, 1-0 at Southend. Unbelievable. That's one of the most amazing results in the 47 years of the competition. My friend Joe, a Southend supporter, was at the game and rang me afterwards. I think he was still in shock. (PS. Continuing the theme of the previous post, Man United had a David Jones playing for them tonight.) · link Keeping Up With The Joneses It's time to stop being coy. Please feel free to come forward with your guesses for the Jones quiz below.

I know you know most of them, but only nine have been named (or hinted at enough that I know you know, if you see what I mean). I'll give some clues for the remaining eleven. The correct answers so far: 8 = Quincy Jones. Correctly guessed by Simon. 9 = Jesus Jones, which Simon also knew. 10 = Donell Jones. Good guess, Mike! 14 = Shirley Jones (shown with David Cassidy). Mike clearly knew this one. I wouldn't have had a clue. The Partridge Family's TV show was just a little too early for me. 15 = Paul Jones of Manfred Mann. What a stunner he was too. Well done Mike again. 17 = Mick Jones of The Clash. Mike correct again. 18 = Norah Jones. Mike again. 19 = Tom Jones. He was first on the organisers' list to entertain the Joneses last Friday, until someone pointed out that he was born Thomas Jones Woodward. He was crossed off the list and not allowed to attend. Whereas... 20 = David Bowie, born David Jones, as Mike and Simon both knew. He would have been able to attend, but I've no idea if he did.

I didn't include his namesake, Davy Jones from The Monkees. I thought twenty Joneses was more than enough! Now some clues for the others: 1, 2 & 3: Oh come on, just name them. You don't need clues. 4: Drawing a blank on this German duo? 5: Just the one freshly squeezed meteorological hit. 6: Knows 13 and 19 pretty well, the pretty boy. 7: No New Songs, just the 80s revivalist tours. 11: But did she mean with Di or Camilla? 12: He's a handy man with good timing. 13: Very close to 6 and also a hit with 19. 16: Without her sisters, but on the Queer As Folk soundtrack. (Yes, the picture is from this year's Manchester Pride!) Go, go, go! 6.11.06 Help! Have you recorded the weekend's X Factor shows, either on DVD or on tape? My sister's DVD recorder has apparently failed to record them, so now I don't have a copy of the programme to send to my friend in Sweden, as I promised.

I will pay for a copy in either format! Yours, in desperation, Here's a brief checklist for tonight's X Factor. See how many you can tick off. 1) Louis tells a performer that 'you really owned that stage'. (Not sure. Did he?) 2) Simon overstates Leona's talent. (Yes!) 3) Louis says of Ray that 'the mammies love him'. (Possibly not, for the first time.) 4) The MacDonald Bros. disappoint yet again, because useless Louis has assigned them a slow song AGAIN (ie. Fernando), when what they really should be doing is a rocky, up-tempo number (ie. Voulez-Vous?, Does Your Mother Know?), in their own style and their own clothes (ie. jeans and leather/denim jackets). (Yes, sadly I was right. They'll be in the bottom two.) 5) Ashley sings out of tune AGAIN and gets away with it AGAIN. (Yes! Verses were okay, but choruses flat as pancakes. Also fluffed the words slightly AGAIN.) 6) A judge tells a contestant that 'you made that song your own'. (Yes!

Louis said it to Ben.) 7) Everyone mispronounces the name of tonight's special guest, Björn Ulvæus. It rhymes with 'churn', not with 'worn', but will anyone manage it? He's only been famous for 32 years... (Yes, sadly, Kate Thornton gets it wrong every time.)8) Eton Road do one of the best performances again, but Simon slags them off unjustifiably, because he's really worried they're going to win. (Yes, again.) I've already had texts from my Swedish friend, asking me to send a copy of tonight's programme over to Helsingborgs for him. Here's what they're all singing in tonight's Abba special: Simon's team: Leona - Chiquitita (She didn't know the song before this week.) Ashley - The Winner Takes It All (He didn't know this one before either.) Sharon's pair: Robert - Take A Chance On Me Louis's groups: Eton Road - Does Your Mother Know? (So suitable, musically and lyrically!) MacDonald Bros. - Fernando I'm looking forward to that Eton Road performance. They're really starting to impress me.

Does anyone know if there's some repackaged Abba 'product' coming out soon? I'm not aware of any. (Update: Yes, there is. Thanks to Ice in the comments box. An album called 'Number Ones' is out on Monday . It contains their nine number ones and 22 other tracks. Everyone already has Abba Gold. Why bother?) If not, this week is a welcome break So, this week is a continuation of the blatant album plugging that's dictated the themes and special guests so far. Here's the evidence: Week 1 guest: Lionel Richie: Album released five weeks earlier. Single released three weeks before the show - failed to make the top 40. Week 2 guest: Rod Stewart: New album released two days later. Week 3 guest: Tony Bennett: New album released two days later. Week 4 guest: Björn Ulvæus: Yet another repackaging of Abba's hits released two days later. Week 5 guest: Rumoured to be Julio Iglesias, who has a new album out on Monday. What will the contestants sing? Seven versions of Begin The Beguine?

I think I'll consult the album release schedules for the next few weeks, to see who the rest of The X Factor's guests will be. UPDATE (after programme one): My scores for tonight's performances (out of ten): Nikitta = 5 (Flat all the way through.) Eton Road = 8 (Excellent, sexy and in tune, although sometimes they look a bit like 'The Odd One' and his backing group.) Robert = 7 (Based on the reprise - I had a phone call when he was on!) Leona = 6 (I just don't like her style of singing, but I'm trying to be objective.) MacDonald Bros. = The blond one rescues them again vocally, but this was as karaoke as I'd feared and that guitar solo was weird. I love this two, but I wish they could shine.) Ray = 9 (Amazing! Thoroughly professional, confident performance. Great to hear Waterloo done in a totally different (swing) arrangement. It worked! Ben = 9.5 (I wrote down 'sounds like Meat Loaf' before the judges said it, and I meant it in a good way.

This was superb.) Ashley = 5.5 (Okay verses, but lost the tune in the choruses. He's okay on the low notes, but not in the high notes. For some reason, Sharon says the complete opposite of this. Does she know the difference between high and low? He also forgot the words at the end. During the song, he also sang 'about WHAT we've gone through' twice, which just grates when we all know the words of Abba songs so well and know it's 'about THINGS we've gone through'.) My bottom two: Nikitta and Ashley, but it'll probably be Nikitta and the MacDonald Bros. Simon will save Nikitta, Louis will save the boys, and then Sharon will be torn, because she has criticised both acts, but she'll send Nikitta home, for the sake of reducing Simon's four acts. Hopefully. It's gonna be tense! Jones vs. Jones Today in Cardiff, there's a gathering of Joneses going on. They're attempting to get 2,000 people called Jones together , including the scrumptious Blue Peter presenter Gethin Jones (left), who is co-hosting.

(Blue Peter has suddenly experienced a resurgence of popularity in Chig Mansions, since I've been off sick.) This will smash the world record for the most people with the same name gathered in one place, which currently stands at 583 Norbergs. They met up in a place that's also called Norberg , in Sweden, and sang a song about the Norbergs too. As you would. You can see the BBC's video report on today's record attempt here . (Click on 'BBC News in audio and video' at the top, then 'Entertainment' in the drop-down menu.) The reporter is Emma Jones (of course), but the man organising the event is called Hughes. Huh? I've just rung my friend Simon, fellow blogger of these parts, and asked him if he's in Cardiff with his namesakes, but he isn't. He did say that several people have asked him the same question today. He has promised to write something later about this momentous gathering of his extended family. (No pressure then, Si!) The entertainment in Cardiff today is all being provided by artists called Jones, including the scary woman in picture number 1 below.

I'm not sure if they'll be emulating the Norbergs and singing any songs about the Joneses, but they certainly have a few to choose from. Here's Chig's Chart of Jones hits, which includes all twelve UK top 40 hits with Jones in the title, according to everyhit.com . As you can see, there are some Scandinavians currently at the top of this pile as well. Aqua had a Norreen and a Nystrøm, but no Norberg. Position - (Original Chart Peak) - Title - Artist - (Year) 03 (05) Nathan Jones - The Supremes - 1971 04 (07) Angela Jones - Michael Cox - 1960 06 (15) Nathan Jones - Bananarama - 1988 07 (17) Jones vs.

Jones - Kool & The Gang - 1981 08 (24) Delilah Jones - The McGuire Sisters - 1956 09 (26) Jonestown Mind - The Almighty - 1995 11 (31) Tom Jones International - Tom Jones - 2002 12 (32) Me and Mrs. Jones - Freddie Jackson - 1992 And now, it's time, once again, for the Friday Fun Pop Quiz! Two weeks on the trot! (Please make the most of this, while I'm off work. This has taken bloomin' ages to prepare. The words 'rod', 'own' and 'back' have been muttered.) Here are twenty hitmakers called Jones, in one way or another. (It's a bit cheeky!) They've all had top 40 hits in the UK, but not necessarily under the name of Jones. (Tee hee.) Can you name them? In the comments box please. As many as you like, but if you do happen to know them all, please just name a handful and let some others have a go. Thank you kindly.

Answers from you by Monday night at the latest. I'll fill in any gaps on Tuesday. Have a good weekend! Name the Joneses 2.11.06 Now we are... Who would have thought, when I wrote the words, 'My first attempt!' here in the early hours of Friday 2 November 2001, that I'd still be here five years later, churning out irrelevant nonsense? Not me, probably. That week in 2001, I had just been to see Soft Cell at Birmingham Academy, and wrote about it. Last week, five years and three days later, I was in the very same venue watching Lordi. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose... Happy Birthday dear blog and a big thanks to all those people who have given technical assistance and comments, both here and in the real world. I remain convinced that there are about about six people who read this regularly, even though viewing figures are higher than ever. I'm not fooled. Be warned, if you ever mention a certain Russian pretty boy singer, an ex-Brookside actor and last year's X Factor winner, you are destined to receive dozens of visitors per day, for months without end, it seems.

None of them stay; they're just looking for pictures of Dima, Phil and Shayne. Damn! I've mentioned them again. Two separate people said to me over the Summer words to the effect of, "I often look at your blog to see what you're up to" and I had to tell them that this isn't a very reliable source to see what I'm up to at all. If this blog was representative of my life, I'd be very concerned! It's very random, and it's a fair bet that the more I'm doing, the less is happening on here. If I'm not doing much, there's more time to write nonsense here (except when the 'not doing much' means 'ill in bed'). However, I'm grateful that those friends are reading. I'm grateful that you are reading. Yes, you. Hell, I'm grateful that anyone is reading, especially when you leave comments, because the feedback is what makes it all worthwhile. Here's to five more years, if we can get the thyroxine levels stabilised... Chig is Nicki French's official stalker...but she doesn't seem to mind. Chig's life can sometimes be a right pain in the balls...

Chig watches... Dogtown, The Amazing Mrs Pritchard, Robin Hood, The X Factor, Spooks, Extras, Mock The Week, Popworld, Ideal, Deal Or No Deal, Eggheads, Hollyoaks, Never Mind The Full Stops, Doctor Who series 2 repeats on BBC3, The Bill, Match Of The Day, Ant'n'Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway. Chig has failed at two attempts to watch the whole series of Invasion, so if you have it on DVD... Chig still fancies Jesse Metcalfe... ...and Brandon Flowers, Roman Sebrle, Jonas Armstrong, Matthew Fox, Stefan Booth, Stuart Manning, Gary Lucy...

Question: Since November 2006 the voice of Sara Mendes da Costa can be heard supplying which service?
Answer: Speaking clock