Judaism 101: Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation Level: Basic  Jews become responsible for observing the commandments at the age of 13 for boys, 12 for girls  This age is marked by a celebration called bar (or bat) mitzvah  Some synagogues have an additional celebration called confirmation Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah "Bar Mitzvah" literally means "son of the commandment." "Bar" is "son" in Aramaic, which used to be the vernacular of the Jewish people . "Mitzvah" is "commandment" in both Hebrew and Aramaic. "Bat" is daughter in Hebrew and Aramaic. (The Ashkenazic pronunciation is "bas").

Technically, the term refers to the child who is coming of age, and it is strictly correct to refer to someone as "becoming a bar (or bat) mitzvah." However, the term is more commonly used to refer to the coming of age ceremony itself, and you are more likely to hear that someone is "having a bar mitzvah" or "invited to a bar mitzvah." So what does it mean to become a bar mitzvah? Under Jewish Law, children are not obligated to observe the commandments, although they are encouraged to do so as much as possible to learn the obligations they will have as adults. At the age of 13 (12 for girls), children become obligated to observe the commandments. The bar mitzvah ceremony formally, publicly marks the assumption of that obligation, along with the corresponding right to take part in leading religious services , to count in a minyan (the minimum number of people needed to perform certain parts of religious services), to form binding contracts, to testify before religious courts and to marry.

A Jewish boy automatically becomes a bar mitzvah upon reaching the age of 13 years, and a girl upon reaching the age of 12 years. No ceremony is needed to confer these rights and obligations. The popular bar mitzvah ceremony is not required, and does not fulfill any commandment. It is certainly not, as one episode of the Simpsons would have you believe, necessary to have a bar mitzvah in order to be considered a Jew! The bar or bat mitzvah is a relatively modern innovation, not mentioned in the Talmud , and the elaborate ceremonies and receptions that are commonplace today were unheard of as recently as a century ago. In its earliest and most basic form, a bar mitzvah is the celebrant's first aliyah . During Shabbat services on a Saturday shortly after the child's 13th birthday, or even the Monday or Thursday weekday services immediately after the child's 13th birthday, the celebrant is called up to the Torah to recite a blessing over the weekly reading . Today, it is common practice for the bar mitzvah celebrant to do much more than just say the blessing.

It is most common for the celebrant to learn the entire haftarah portion, including its traditional chant, and recite that. In some congregations, the celebrant reads the entire weekly torah portion, or leads part of the service, or leads the congregation in certain important prayers. The celebrant is also generally required to make a speech, which traditionally begins with the phrase "today I am a man." The father traditionally recites a blessing thanking G-d for removing the burden of being responsible for the son's sins (because now the child is old enough to be held responsible for his own actions). In modern times, the religious service is followed by a reception that is often as elaborate as a wedding reception. In Orthodox and Chasidic practice, women are not permitted to participate in religious services in these ways, so a bat mitzvah, if celebrated at all, is usually little more than a party. In other movements of Judaism, the girls do exactly the same thing as the boys. It is important to note that a bar mitzvah is not the goal of a Jewish education, nor is it a graduation ceremony marking the end of a person's Jewish education. We are obligated to study Torah throughout our lives.

To emphasize this point, some rabbis require a bar mitzvah student to sign an agreement promising to continue Jewish education after the bar mitzvah. Sadly, an alarming number of Jewish parents today view the bar or bat mitzvah as the sole purpose of Jewish education, and treat it almost as a Jewish hazing ritual: I had to go through it, so you have to go through it, but don't worry, it will all be over soon and you'll never have to think about this stuff again. Confirmation Confirmation is a somewhat less widespread coming of age ritual that occurs when a child is 16 or 18. Confirmation was originally developed by the Reform movement , which scorned the idea that a 13 year old child was an adult (but see explanation below ). They replaced bar and bat mitzvah with a confirmation ceremony at the age of 16 or 18. However, due to the overwhelming popularity of the bar or bat mitzvah, the Reform movement has revived the practice. I don't know of any Reform synagogues that do not encourage the practice of bar and bat mitzvahs at age 13 today.

In some Conservative synagogues, however, the confirmation concept has been adopted as a way to continue a child's Jewish education and involvement for a few more years. Is 13 an Adult? Many people mock the idea that a 12 or 13 year old child is an adult, claiming that it is an outdated notion based on the needs of an agricultural society. This criticism comes from a misunderstanding of the significance of becoming a bar mitzvah. Bar mitzvah is not about being a full adult in every sense of the word, ready to marry, go out on your own, earn a living and raise children. The Talmud makes this abundantly clear. In Pirkei Avot , it is said that while 13 is the proper age for fulfillment of the Commandments, 18 is the proper age for marriage and 20 is the proper age for earning a livelihood. Elsewhere in the Talmud, the proper age for marriage is said to be 16-24. Bar mitzvah is simply the age when a person is held responsible for his actions and minimally qualified to marry.

If you compare this to secular law, you will find that it is not so very far from our modern notions of a child's maturity. In Anglo-American common law, a child of the age of 14 is old enough to assume many of the responsibilities of an adult, including minimal criminal liability. Under United States law, 14 is the minimum age of employment for most occupations (though working hours are limited so as not to interfere with school). In many states, a fourteen year old can marry with parental consent. Children of any age are permitted to testify in court, and children over the age of 14 are permitted to have significant input into custody decisions in cases of divorce. Certainly, a 13-year-old child is capable of knowing the difference between right and wrong and of being held responsible for his actions, and that is all it really means to become a bar mitzvah. Gifts One of the most common questions I get on this site is: do you give gifts at a bar or bat mitzvah, and if so, what kind of gifts? Yes, gifts are commonly given. They are ordinarily given at the reception, not at the service itself.

Please keep in mind that a bar mitzvah is incorporated into an ordinary sabbath service, and many of the people present at the service may not be involved in the bar mitzvah. The nature of the gift varies significantly depending on the community. At one time, the most common gifts were a nice pen set or a college savings bond (usually in multiples of $18, a number that is considered to be favorable in Jewish tradition, see: Hebrew Alphabet: Numerical Values ). In many communities today, however, the gifts are the same sort that you would give any child for his 13th birthday. It is best to avoid religious gifts if you don't know what you're doing, but Jewish-themed gifts are not a bad idea. For example, you might want to give a book that is a biography of a Jewish person that the celebrant might admire. I hesitate to get into specifics, for fear that some poor celebrant might find himself with several copies of the same thing! When in doubt, it never hurts to ask the parents or the synagogue's rabbi what is customary within the community.

© Copyright 5756-5771 (1996-2011), Tracey R Rich If you appreciate the many years of work I have put into this site, show your appreciation by linking to this page, not copying it to your site. I can't correct my mistakes or add new material if it's on your site. Click Here for more details. Judaism: Coming of Age Ritual Judaism: Coming of Age Ritual Posted In: Religion Articles 8/9/09 By: Yona Williams Under Jewish law, children are not required to observe the commandments, even though they are encouraged and taught to do so. However, the turning point in a child following the Judaic faith comes when a boy turns 13 years old and a girl becomes 12 years old. When a boy turns 13 years old, he is considered an adult under Jewish law. From this point, he is expected to obey all of the commandments.

He is called a Bar Mitzvah ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ also known as a "Son of the Commandments." Girls observe a similar transformation, which is called a Bat Mitzvah ("daughter of the commandment"). Just because boys and girls reach this age, it doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t mean that Jewish law sees the "young adults" as ready to marry or leave the security of living at home. According to the Talmud, the appropriate age to marry is 18, while 20 is a proper age for adults to start earning a living for themselves. Young people are not considered responsible for their actions and have met the minimum qualification for marriage. Keep in mind that this is not a far-fetched practice, as some individuals can marry as young as 14 years old when given their parent's permission. The Issue of Girls in Different Denominations Orthodox and Hasidic Jews do not hold a Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Women do not take part in the religious service. However, a party is sometimes thrown to mark the occasion.

Girls belonging to Reform or Conservative synagogues take part in ceremonies in the same manner as boys. The Rite of Passage The rite of passage for a Jewish boy has always centered on his first reciting of the aliyah (benediction over the Torah reading). This takes place at the first Sabbath service following his 13th birthday. Over the years, the duties have increased to include reciting the haftarah (selection from the Prophets), reading the entire weekly Torah portion, leading part of the service, or leading prayers. Custom also sees the youth making a brief speech, which typically starts with: "Today I have become a man [or woman]." A blessing is given by the father, who thanks God for eliminating the burden of being responsible for the sins of his child. A reception usually follows the ceremony, which for some, boys and girls, is an affair comparable to a wedding. Responsibilities Associated with Bar (Bat) Mitzvah) Some of the most significant responsibilities associated with this important coming-of-age ritual include: Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â· Morally responsible for their own actions.

Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â· Eligible to be called to read from the Torah (only boys in Orthodox circles). Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â· Participating in the Minyan (only boys in Orthodox circles). Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â· Allowed to own what they possess as personal property. Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â· Must follow the 613 laws of the Torah. Clickbank Name: The World's Coolest Coming Of Age Traditions Source: David Fox Photographer The bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah are coming of age ceremonies for Jewish boys and girls, respectively. Under Jewish Law, individuals are only required to formally observe the commandments once they reach a specific age (12 for girls, 13 for boys). While this change occurs automatically once the child reaches that age, a bar or bat mitzvah is often held to celebrate the boy or girl’s coming-of-age and publicly mark the individual’s right to now participate in religious ceremonies, count in the minyan, or form contacts.

Source: The Andrew James While the ceremony does not indicate that the child is physically an adult, it does so mentally and emotionally with the emphasis on the individual’s increased culpability and responsibility. The name itself “bar” or “bat mitzvah”, translates into son or daughter of the mitzvah, since from that point on the individual much abide by the mitzvahs (also known as commandments or laws) of the Torah. Like most coming of age traditions, bar and bat mitzvahs lack a singular, definitive template, but most contain an aliyah as well as a reading from the Torah or haftorah by the child obtaining bar or bat mitzvah. Source: Verite Photo Much like other coming of age traditions and celebrations, reaching “adulthood” isn’t cheap: the bar or bat mitzvah is often expensive, and requires weeks of preparation and education beforehand. Following the ceremony, a reception often as grand as a wedding follows, in which the individual is celebrated. Family and friends come together to join in the fun.

13 Amazing Coming of Age Traditions From Around the World Girls & Women Health Education Finance & Innovation Food & Hunger Water & Sanitation Environment Citizenship Global Citizen is a community of people like you People who want to learn about and take action on the world’s biggest challenges. Extreme poverty ends with you. Learn more 1. Get Informed Check out original content and videos published every day to help you learn about the issues that mean the most to you. 2. Take Action Send petitions, emails, or tweets to world leaders. Call governments or join rallies. We offer a variety of ways to make your voice heard. 3. Connect with Others Meet other Global Citizens who care about the same issues you do. Keep updated on what they're doing to change the world. 13 Amazing Coming of Age Traditions From Around the World Brought to you by: CHIME FOR CHANGE Flickr-Derek A Flickr: Derek A., aka i Morpheus After reading through, join the #showyourselfie campaign today and submit your visual petition for youth onto . The transition from childhood to adulthood -- the “coming of age” of boys who become young men and girls who become young women -- is a significant stepping stone in everyone’s life.

But the age at which this happens, and how a child celebrates their rite of passage into adolescence, depends entirely on where they live and what culture they grow up in. Looking back, we'll never forget the majesty that was prom, or the excitement of hitting the dance floor at our friends' co-ed Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties, and why should we? Embarassing or amazing, they were pivotal moments in our lives that deserve remembering. On that note, here are thirteen of it the world’s most diverse coming of age traditions. 1. Jewish Coming of Age Tradition: Bar and Bat Mitzvah Flickr: Krista Guenin Around the world, young Jewish boys and girls celebrate their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs at age 13 and 12 in order to demonstrate their commitment to their faith and recognize that they are now responsible for following Jewish law. After the religious ceremony, a reception typically ensues to celebrate the young person’s hard work and accomplishment, as they have often spent weeks learning and preparing for this day. 2.

The Sateré-Mawé Coming Of Age Tradition: Bullet Ant Initiation Infinitus Possibilis In the Brazilian Amazon, young boys belonging to the indigenous Sateré-Mawé tribe mark their coming of age when they turn 13 in a Bullet and Ant Initiation. The tradition goes as so: they search the jungle for bullet ants which are sedated by a leader who submerges them in an herbal solution. The ants are then weaved into gloves with the stingers pointed inwards. An hour or so later, the ants wake up angrier than ever, and the initiation begins. Each boy has to wear the gloves for ten minutes. Enduring the pain demonstrates the boys’ readiness for manhood -- so few cry out as doing so would demonstrate weakness. Each boy will eventually wear the gloves 20 times over the span of several months before the initiation is complete. 3. Amish Coming of Age Tradition: Rumspringa Wikimedia Commons In Amish tradition, Rumspringa marks the time when youth turn 16 and are finally able to enjoy unsupervised weekends away from family. During this time, they are encouraged to enjoy whatever pleasures they like, be that modern clothing or alcohol.

The purpose of this period is to allow Amish youth the opportunity to see and experience the world beyond their culture and upbringing. In this way, returning to their community and way of life thus is entirely their choice. Those who return are then baptized and become committed members of the Amish church and community, marking the end of Rumspringa (but they must do so before turning 26). 4. Hispanic Coming of Age Tradition: Quinceanera Flickr: Christopher Michael In many parts of Central and South America, young girls celebrate their Quinceanera when they turn 15 years old. The coming of age tradition typically begins with a Catholic mass where the girl renews her baptismal vows and solidifies her commitment to her family and faith. Immediately following the mass is a fiesta where friends and family eat and dance. 5. American Coming of Age Tradition: Sweet 16 Flickr: Kris Krug While less rooted in tradition, the 16th birthday is nonetheless an important one for American youth, as it marks the time when they are legally permitted to drive a car (and with driving comes big-time freedom).

For some lucky teens the day is celebrated with an over-the-top party and potentially a new car, as documented on the the MTV show My Super Sweet 16. 6. Inuit Coming of Age Tradition: North Baffin Island Wikimedia Commons In North Baffin Island, Inuit boys have traditionally gone out to the wilderness with their fathers between the ages of 11 and 12 to test their hunting skills and acclimatise to the harsh arctic weather. As part of the tradition, a shaman would be called to open the lines of communication between men and animals. Nowadays, however, this tradition has been extended to young girls as well, as “outcamps” are established away from the community in order for traditional skills to be passed down and practiced by the young men and women. 7. Khatam Al Koran Coming of Age Tradition: Malaysia Flickr: CPS Brunei In Malaysia, 11 is a special birthday for some Muslim girls, as it marks the time when they can celebrate Khatam Al Koran, a prestigious ritual that demonstrates their growing maturity at their local mosque.

Girls spend years preparing for this day, reviewing the Koran so they can recite the final chapter before friends and family at the ceremony. 8. Maasai Coming of Age Tradition : Tanzania and Kenya Wikimedia Commons The Maasai of Kenya and Tanzania have several rites of passage that carry boys into manhood. Boys between the ages of 10-20 come together to be initiated as the new “warrior class” of the tribe, placed in dozens of houses built for the occasion. The night before the ceremony the boys sleep outside in the forest, and at dawn they return for a day of singing and dancing. They drink a mixture of alcohol, cow’s blood, and milk, while also consuming large portions of meat. After these festivities they are ready to be circumcised, making the official transformation into a man, warrior, and protector. Similar to other rites of passage the boys cannot flinch, because doing so would shame their families and discount their bravery. For the next 10 years the boys will stay at a warrior’s camp where they learn various skills. After the ceremony takes places, marking their transition from warrior to senior warrior, they are entitled to marry the woman of their choice. 9.

Ethiopian Coming of Age Tradition: Hamar Cow Jumping Travelblog.org In Ethiopia, some grooms-to-be have their own “bachelor party” of sorts- a rite of passage they must complete prior to being able to marry. Participants must successfully jump over a castrated, male cow four times while naked, symbolizing the childhood they are leaving behind them. If successful, they will now be considered one of the Maza- other men who passed the test and spend the next few months supervising these events in villages throughout the Hamar territory. 10. Vanuatu Coming of Age Tradition: Land Divers Wikimedia Commons Bungee enthusiasts will enjoy this: in Vanuatu, a small island nation in the middle of the South Pacific, young boys come of age by jumping off of a 98-foot-tall tower with a bungee-like vine tied to their ankles, just barely preventing them from hitting the ground. The catch? Unlike a bungee cord, the vine lacks elasticity, and a slight miscalculation in vine length could lead to broken bones or even death. Boys initially begin jumping at around 7 or 8, although they are permitted to jump from a shorter tower.

In their first dives their mother will hold an item representing their childhood, and after the jump the item will be thrown away, symbolizing the end of childhood. As boys grow older they will jump from taller towers, demonstrating their manliness to the crowd. 11. Japanese Coming of Age Tradition: Seijin-no-Hi Wikimedia Commons In Japan, the second Monday of January marks a special day- the day in which 20 year olds get to dress up in their finest traditional attire, attend a ceremony in local city offices, receive gifts, and party to their hearts’ content amongst friends and family. It’s their Coming of Age Festival, otherwise known as Seijin-no-Hi. The tradition started nearly 1200 years ago and recognizes the age when the Japanese believe youth become mature, contributing members of society (it’s also the time when they get to vote and drink). 12. Confucian Coming of Age Traditions: Ji Li and Guan Li globaltimes.cn In some parts of China, there has recently been a resurgence of the Confucian-style coming of age ceremonies Ji Li (for girls) and Guan Li (for boys).

The ceremonies typically honor youth who have turned 20, and provide a fun opportunity to wear traditional dress. For the girls, this is also an opportunity to follow typical Ji Li practices such as making hair buns, attaching hair pins, and paying tribute to Huangdi, a Chinese ancestor. 13. Apache Coming of Age Tradition: Sunrise Ceremony allthatisinteresting.com There’s no room for shyness among young Apache girls. While this ceremony is rarely practiced today, traditionally all girls were required to complete the sunrise ceremony, also known as Na’ii’ees or the puberty ceremony, during the summer following their first menstruation. During the 4 day ceremony the girls must abide by certain rules, preventing them to wass or touch their skin, or drink from anything other than their drinking tubes. They must also reenact the Apache Origin Myth drawing each female participant closer to the first woman, known as White Painted Woman, Changing Woman, or simply Esdzanadehe. In doing so they obtain her power during this special time. There are currently 1.8 billion young people around the world. That’s a quarter of our population who is currently making the leap to adulthood.

Yet, young people can’t mark their smooth transition to adulthood if they don’t have the opportunities to do so -- such as going to school or seeking employment skills. We must invest in youth because their human rights matter, because their needs matter, and because unlocking their potential is needed to create a sustainable future. Now is the time for governments everywhere to act to ensure a healthy and prosperous future for all young people. Take Action Send petitions, emails, or tweets to world leaders. Call governments or join rallies. We offer a variety of ways to make your voice heard Get Involved What to Expect at a Baby Naming | ReformJudaism.org What to Expect at a Baby Naming By: Jewish babies are given Hebrew names shortly after they are born. A brief ceremony is performed, which often includes friends and family members of the new baby. What is a Jewish baby naming ceremony? This is a brief ceremony during which the baby is given his or her Hebrew name. The chosen Hebrew name could be a name that sounds like the baby's secular/English name, or one that begins with the same sound as the baby's secular/English name. Often a Hebrew name is selected because the meaning of the word has significance to the family.

Ashkenazic Jews (those of European ancestry) often select a name that commemorates a deceased relative of the baby in order to honor that person's memory. Sephardic Jews (those of Spanish and Middle Eastern ancestry) often follow the custom of naming their children after living relatives. During the ceremony, there is an opportunity for the parents of the new baby to explain their choice of name and its significance to them. Blessing are said during the ceremony acknowledging that the child has been entered into a brit, a covenant, with God. Blessings are also recited for the baby's well-being. The traditional wish is offered - that this child may grow into a life of study of Torah, of loving relationships, and the performance of good deeds. When does a Jewish baby naming take place? If a baby boy is being circumcised, (b'rit milah) typically done on the eighth day after birth, the boy is given his Hebrew name at the same time. Baby namings for girls can occur at any time, although they are usually done in the first few weeks of the baby's life. Where does a Jewish baby naming take place?

Baby namings can be held in people's homes,or they can be held at the synagogue. A b'rit milah is usually held in the morning. A baby naming held in a synagogue can take place at a Shabbat service, either Friday evening or Saturday morning. Why do Jewish babies have a Hebrew name? The baby's Hebrew name will be used at life-cycle events throughout his or her life. When Jewish children begin their religious education, they participate in a Consecration ceremony, at which their Hebrew name will be used. At a child's bar mitzvah (for boys) or bat mitzvah (for girls) - the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony at the age of 13 - he or she is called to the Torah for the first time by their Hebrew name. At a Jewish wedding, the Hebrew names of the couple are used on the ketubah, their Jewish marriage document. When a person is called to the Torah, an honor bestowed during a synagogue service, he or she is called by their Hebrew name. When the person dies, his or her Hebrew name will be used during the funeral and burial, and will then be inscribed on their tombstone.

A person's Hebrew name may also be used at other times during his or her life, but these are the most common times at which it is used. Are there any traditional greetings? It is traditional to say mazel tov, which colloquially means "congratulations," on the occasion of a baby naming. It is a happy time of great pride and joy. It is customary to say mazel tov to the baby's parents, grandparents, and any other relatives present at the baby naming ceremony. Will food be served at a baby naming? There is always food at Jewish celebrations and certainly at baby namings, times of great happiness and joy. Usually, this takes the form of a buffet, as baby namings are often held in people's homes and the time right after the ceremony is fairly informal.When held in a synagogue, refreshments or a light meal may be served after the service. Hindu Coming of Age--Teen, Hindu-American, Ritual - Beliefnet Coming of Age How my faith honors the mothers of tomorrow When I reached puberty, my mother gave me a necklace to honor the occasion. Being young and naive, I questioned not.

At the time, I did not know--nor was I interested in knowing--that what had just occurred was an abbreviated form of a ceremony called the ritu kala samskara. A few years later, after talking to a Jewish friend about her Bat Mitzvah, I wondered why Hinduism did not have an equivalent ceremony to acknowledge this important stage of a young woman's development. When I asked my mother about this, she explained that the ritu kala was indeed just such a ceremony. When I Googled "ritu kala, " the results were far from satisfactory. Realizing that the Internet world could never give me the information I was seeking, I asked my grandmother about it. She said that, like the coming-of-age society balls of the Victorian Era in England, this samskara (sacrament) was supposed to commemorate a girl's formal initiation into adult society. Yet unlike those secular and social parties of England, it was also supposed to signify an important point in the spiritual development of a girl. In the not-so-distant past, Indian parents would often arrange for their daughter's marriage to occur a few years before she reached puberty.

(Before 1951, the average marriage age for girls in India was 13.) After marriage, she would remain in her parent's home until puberty, learning of the household duties she would perform later as a mother and a wife. After puberty, she would move into the house of her in-laws, serve her husband and live the life for which she had been prepared. Hence, the ritu kala not only recognized a young girl's important physical and emotional transformations, it also indicated her readiness to take on a woman's responsibilities, often including starting a family of her own. Unlike most Hindu celebrations, only women are present at the ritu kala. During the ceremony, the girl is presented with her first sari while all the ladies present gather near, sing songs of praise and shower her with gifts. In some communities, green-colored presents are given to invite fertility. While this Hindu ceremony, as it is traditionally performed, is slowly disappearing in India, it seems to have barely gotten started here in the U.S. To satisfy my own curiosity, I presented a questionnaire to a few of my second-generation Indian friends, asking what they thought about this event and if they had participated in it.

The families of these girls originally came from Andra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Maharashtra, and Punjab. Many of the responses I received from the 20 girls that I questioned consisted of one or two-word answers. Most the girls had indeed participated in the ceremony. This in itself was surprising to me, even though--as one described it--"the whole thing was no big deal." According to one girl, it was a very small event performed at home with no priest: "just mom, dad, my sister and me. And I didn't get anything." In general, my friends seemed indifferent to the whole idea of ritu kala. Before I understood the ceremony, I felt the same way. The last person in my family to formally participate in this ceremony was my great-grandmother. When I asked the mothers of my friends about the ritual, they seemed shy to talk about the issue. Most of them confessed they would be hesitant to have it performed for their daughters. I strongly feel that if the significance of this important ceremony had been better articulated in our Hindu community over the past 20 years, today's teenage girls would have more respect for this aspect of our Hindu culture and be more inclined to participate in it.

After all, today's young women represent the future of humanity, for they are the mothers of tomorrow. _Related Features Orthodox girls are redefining coming-of-age ceremonies | j. the Jewish news weekly of Northern California Orthodox girls are redefining coming-of-age ceremonies by rachel sarah, correspondent Follow j. on and Traditionally, Orthodox girls wanting a bat mitzvah have had intimate affairs with close family and friends, complete with candlelightings and blessings. Unlike the Reform and Conservative movements, which have embraced and formalized the bat mitzvah in the synagogue, Orthodox shuls and schools tend to take a more-varied, low-key approach. And while many Orthodox girls still have private, coming-of-age rituals, others are opting for more-public and creative ceremonies, perhaps closer aligned to a bar mitzvah. Most choose to study extensively with parents, teachers or rebbetzins, and many seek out chesed projects — acts of loving-kindness — to help those less fortunate. Indeed, while some Orthodox rabbis might forbid a girl from having a synagogue-based event — celebrating instead with a modest meal, a blessing or wearing nicer clothes — this does not seem to be the case in the Bay Area.

In Berkeley, for one, many Orthodox girls are encouraged to give a public address that culminates their years of study. Certainly, the Bay Area lends itself to the more liberal side of Orthodox Judaism. U.C. Santa Cruz student Dorit Resnikoff, for example, does not recall her Orthodox bat mitzvah at Berkeley's Congregation Beth Israel being out of the ordinary. "There were two other Orthodox girls at our synagogue, and all of us had bat mitzvahs," says the 20-year-old. "We didn't say to each other, 'Oh, this is such a big step.'" However, "We did have to come up with ways of doing things differently, and our ceremonies were more creative. "It's really common for girls to have a women's Torah service, but I wanted my dad and brother to be there, so I did a Friday night women's service and afterwards, I read to the whole congregation." Resnikoff's sister, Liat, 27, also became a bat mitzvah. Before that, back in 1973, Mimi Epstein was the first Orthodox girl to become a bat mitzvah at Beth Israel.

"These days, in Berkeley, all the girls are expected to have bat mitzvahs," Resnikoff adds. Still, the structure of a girl's bat mitzvah depends greatly on which circle of the Orthodox community she's in. At Beth Israel, "Each girl had some kind of learning component in her bat mitzvah, meaning that she spent serious time invested in learning about a topic," says Irene Resnikoff, Dorit's and Liat's mother. She is a teacher at Beth Israel and education director at the Reform Congregation Rodef Sholom in San Rafael. Rabbi Judah Dardik of Beth Jacob Congregation in Oakland agrees that it's common in the Bay Area for Orthodox girls to have more-scholarly and public b'not mitzvah. "Due to demographics, we've had a dearth of bat mitzvahs in the past two and a half years," Dardik says. "But in the next 36 months, there are a lot coming up. I've been meeting with families one-on-one, to help the girls design a ceremony that's truly reflective of their coming of age. For some, it's about a certain study.

For others, it's about finding something in their lives to really make their own." Erica Brown, a former scholar-in-residence for the Combined Jewish Philanthropies of Boston, is also an Orthodox advocate for more public and formal b'not mitzvah in her community. In an essay for called "Orthodox Judaism grapples with bat mitzvah," Brown writes: "Failure to address and welcome each child, boy or girl, into the adult world commandments and community can convey a powerful message in its silence: as an individual, you are not welcome here." Her daughter had a public bat mitzvah, which Brown described as "part of a natural and obvious course of active Jewish living." She would like Orthodox rabbis to "take more of a proactive role in assigning meaning and legitimate customs to the bat mitzvah." Still, there are some Bay Area Orthodox families who've continued the tradition of the private bat mitzvah, without a speech or big ceremony.

Hinda Langer, director of the Shalom School in San Francisco and wife of Rabbi Yosef Langer of Chabad of SF, is the mother of three daughters and two sons who have all had b'nai mitzvah. "In Orthodox community, a bar or bat mitzvah is not a big change in the fabric of their lives," Langer says. "It's really a continuation" of their dedication. Two of Langer's daughters — Chaya, 21, and Nechama, 28, whom their mother describes as "shy" — had private parties at their home with family and friends, while the more outgoing Miriam, 20, gave a formal speech at a Chabad house with more than 75 people present. At Chaya's bat mitzvah, which had a birthday party atmosphere, the girls played Shabbat games and Chaya gave a 10-minute talk to her friends. Nechama's bat mitzvah included a costume party, cake decorating and a d'var Torah reading to her class. On the other hand, the Langer sons' b'nai mitzvah were "much more elaborate," their mother explains.

"It's a given for the boys that they have a public ceremony because they have to be called up to the Torah. Both boys memorized Chassidic discourse in Yiddish, about tefillin." Still, Langer concedes that the bat mitzvah ceremony itself is not what is significant in the Orthodox community. Rather, it is "the reaffirmation of a life commitment. "You have to realize that our kids are prepared in a totally different way than another community," Langer says. "Our kids have been prepared since they were born. So, in that sense, I feel that it's exactly the same for both boys and girls. The message is the same, even if the mitzvot are different." Lauren Greenberg, whose daughter, Eliana, who had a bat mitzvah at Congregation Beth Israel two years ago, agrees. "There are really two options you can do. Orthodox girls have been having bat mitzvahs for a long time. Some girls focus on chanting and reading, while other girls focus more on studying." Greenberg says she modeled her daughter's bat mitzvah on what Howard Zack, the former rabbi of Beth Jacob in Oakland, did with his three daughters.

For months before her bat mitzvah, Eliana studied with Ilana Silverman-Fodirman, a teacher at San Francisco's Jewish Community High School of the Bay, about Hoshana Rabbah, the festival commemorating the seventh day of Tabernacles. At home, Eliana wrote a speech and illustrated handouts for the 120 invited guests. "I think my bat mitzvah was different from my friends'," Eliana says. "I was the only one who did it during the night, on a Thursday, and my party was under the sukkah at my grandmother's house." The question, says Lauren Greenberg, is: "Do you try to make it more like a boy's or try to do something totally different? I embrace the idea of trying to do something totally different. There's the standard thing the boy does, but for a bat mitzvah, it is very diverse and unique." So, what has caused the shift? More Orthodox girls are wanting to be heard.

"In Orthodox Judaism, there is no public ritual marking the bat mitzvah," writes Tova Mirvis, author of "Ladies' Auxiliary," a novel about the close-knit, carefully structured world of the Orthodox community in Memphis, Tenn. "Girls come of age in private, into a role that is private. Orthodox women do not publicly read from the Torah and do not lead prayers in synagogue." Mirvis, whose own Orthodox family agreed to let her have a bat mitzvah 16 years ago, expressed the importance of this ceremony in an essay she wrote for , titled "A bat mitzvah shapes a girl into the woman she'll become." Mirvis recalls that although she was very excited to give a speech on lighting Sabbath candles, "My bat mitzvah was not given the same attention as my brother's bar mitzvah." Her brother's decisions centered around which parts of the service he would lead and which male members would participate with him, while Mirvis focused on party planning. "Looking back, I feel that the event lacked substance," she says.

"If the community one enters is a religious one, where ritual and prayer take center stage, then there ought to be some ritual ceremony to mark this arrival." Mirvis also points out that the planning of a girl's Orthodox bat mitzvah ceremony largely depends on her community. "In some circles within Orthodox Judaism, bat mitzvahs are developing a public ritual component. This is the result of the sometimes seamless, sometimes contradictory movement of Orthodox Judaism."

Question: What is the name of the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony?
Answer: Bar or Bat Mitzvah