Restaurant Review: Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square - The New York Times The New York Times Dining & Wine |As Not Seen on TV Search As Not Seen on TV Restaurant Review: Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square Guy's American Kitchen & Bar 220 West 44th Street, Times Square Theatre District 646-532-4897 Photo URBAN SPRAWL Guy's American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square. Credit Casey Kelbaugh for The New York Times GUY FIERI, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square? Have you pulled up one of the 500 seats at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar and ordered a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations? Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex?

When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute? Did you notice that the menu was an unreliable predictor of what actually came to the table? Were the “bourbon butter crunch chips” missing from your Almond Joy cocktail, too? Was your deep-fried “boulder” of ice cream the size of a standard scoop? What exactly about a small salad with four or five miniature croutons makes Guy’s Famous Big Bite Caesar (a) big (b) famous or (c) Guy’s, in any meaningful sense? Continue reading the main story Were you struck by how very far from awesome the Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders are? If you hadn’t come up with the recipe yourself, would you ever guess that the shiny tissue of breading that exudes grease onto the plate contains either pretzels or smoked almonds?

Did you discern any buttermilk or brine in the white meat, or did you think it tasted like chewy air? Advertisement Continue reading the main story Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret — a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson? When you have a second, Mr. Fieri , would you see what happened to the black bean and roasted squash soup we ordered? Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde? At your five Johnny Garlic’s restaurants in California, if servers arrive with main courses and find that the appetizers haven’t been cleared yet, do they try to find space for the new plates next to the dirty ones? Or does that just happen in Times Square, where people are used to crowding?

If a customer shows up with a reservation at one of your two Tex Wasabi’s outlets, and the rest of the party has already been seated, does the host say, “Why don’t you have a look around and see if you can find them?” and point in the general direction of about 200 seats? What is going on at this new restaurant of yours, really? Has anyone ever told you that your high-wattage passion for no-collar American food makes you television’s answer to Calvin Trillin , if Mr. Trillin bleached his hair, drove a Camaro and drank Boozy Creamsicles? When you cruise around the country for your show “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” rasping out slangy odes to the unfancy places where Americans like to get down and greasy, do you really mean it? Or is it all an act? Is that why the kind of cooking you celebrate on television is treated with so little respect at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar?

How, for example, did Rhode Island’s supremely unhealthy and awesomely good fried calamari — dressed with garlic butter and pickled hot peppers — end up in your restaurant as a plate of pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice? Please verify you're not a robot by clicking the box. Invalid email address. Please re-enter. You must select a newsletter to subscribe to. Sign Up How did Louisiana’s blackened, Cajun-spiced treatment turn into the ghostly nubs of unblackened, unspiced white meat in your Cajun Chicken Alfredo? Advertisement Continue reading the main story How did nachos, one of the hardest dishes in the American canon to mess up, turn out so deeply unlovable? Why augment tortilla chips with fried lasagna noodles that taste like nothing except oil? Why not bury those chips under a properly hot and filling layer of melted cheese and jalapeños instead of dribbling them with thin needles of pepperoni and cold gray clots of ground turkey? By the way, would you let our server know that when we asked for chai, he brought us a cup of hot water?

When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads? Does this make it sound as if everything at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar is inedible? I didn’t say that, did I? Tell me, though, why does your kitchen sabotage even its more appealing main courses with ruinous sides and sauces? Why stifle a pretty good bison meatloaf in a sugary brown glaze with no undertow of acid or spice? Why send a serviceable herb-stuffed rotisserie chicken to the table in the company of your insipid Rice-a-Roni variant? Why undermine a big fist of slow-roasted pork shank, which might fly in many downtown restaurants if the General Tso’s-style sauce were a notch less sweet, with randomly shaped scraps of carrot that combine a tough, nearly raw crunch with the deadened, overcooked taste of school cafeteria vegetables? Is this how you roll in Flavor Town?

Somewhere within the yawning, three-level interior of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, is there a long refrigerated tunnel that servers have to pass through to make sure that the French fries, already limp and oil-sogged, are also served cold? What accounts for the vast difference between the Donkey Sauce recipe you’ve published and the Donkey Sauce in your restaurant? Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic? Advertisement Continue reading the main story And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about? Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane? Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish? Did you finish that blue drink? Oh, and we never got our Vegas fries; would you mind telling the kitchen that we don’t need them? Thanks.

Good Quotations by Famous People Good Quotations by Famous People: Famous quotes, witty quotes, and funny quotations collected by Gabriel Robins over the years. "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." - H. G. Wells (1866-1946) "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) "Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake." - Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) "Don't be so humble - you are not that great." - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat "His ignorance is encyclopedic" "If a man does his best, what else is there?" - General George S.

Patton (1885-1945) "Political correctness is tyranny with manners." - Charlton Heston (1924-2008) "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." - Ayn Rand (1905-1982) "When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion." - Robert Pirsig (1948-) "Sex and religion are closer to each other than either might prefer." - Saint Thomas More (1478-1535) "I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better." - A. J.

Liebling (1904-1963) "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855) "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet." - Saint Augustine (354-430) "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) "You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you." - Leon Trotsky (1879-1940) "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei (1564-16

42) "We are all atheists about most of the gods humanity has ever believed in.

Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins (1941-) "The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work." - Emile Zola (1840-1902) "This book fills a much-needed gap." - Moses Hadas (1900-1966) in a review "The full use of your powers along lines of excellence." - definition of "happiness" by John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) "I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." - e e cummings (1894-1962) "Give me a museum and I'll fill it." - Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) - Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra "I'll moider da bum." - Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.

But in practice, there is." - Yogi Berra "I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." - Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) "Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems." - Rene Descartes (1596-1650), "Discours de la Methode" "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968) "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." - Henry Ford (1863-1947) "Do, or do not.

There is no 'try'." - Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back') "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed." - George Burns (1896-1996) "I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves." - Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) "There are no facts, only interpretations." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther King Jr.

(1929-1968) "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense." - Edsgar Dijkstra (1930-2002) "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg." - Bjarne Stroustrup "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." - Paul Erdos (1913-1996) "Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back." - Paul Erdos (1913-1996) "Happiness equals reality minus expectations." - Tom Magliozzi (1937-2014) "Try to learn something about everything and everything about something." - Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895) "The only difference between me and a madman is that I&#39m not mad." - Salvador Dali (1904-1989) "If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it

 to dance." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "But at my back I always hear Time&#39s winged chariot hurrying near." - Andrew Marvell (1621-1678) "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." - Plato (427-347 B.C.) "The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) "Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn." - Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947-) "Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain." - Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805) "We have art to save ourselves from the truth." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-

1821) "I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction." - Clarence Darrow (1857-1938) "I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it." - John F.

Kennedy (1917-1963) when asked what is his favorite song "I have nothing to declare except my genius." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) upon arriving at U.S. customs 1882 "Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe." - H. G. Wells (1866-1946) "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'." - unknown "Women might be able to fake orgasms.

But men can fake a whole relationship." - Sharon Stone "If you are going through hell, keep going." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." - Vivian Greene "He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) "Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions." - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire (1694-1778) "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H. H.

Munro (Saki) (1870-1916) "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) "I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them." - Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964) "If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty (1892-1976) "Facts are the enemy of truth." - Don Quixote - "Man of La Mancha" "When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." - George Washington Carver (1864-1943) "How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself." - Anais Nin (1903-1977) "I have not failed.

I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) "I begin by taking.

I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right." - Frederick (II) the Great "Maybe this world is another planet's Hell." - Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) "Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact." - George Eliot (1819-1880) "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." - Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859-1930) "Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx (1895-1977) "It&#39s kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney (1901-1966) "We didn&#39t lose the game; we just ran out of time." - Vince Lombardi "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell "A friendship founded on business

 is better than a business founded on friendship." - John D.

Rockefeller (1874-1960) "All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) "You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936) "An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936) "I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth." - Umberto Eco "Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down." - Jimmy Durante "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." - Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both." - Dwight D.

Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address, January 20, 1953 "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working." - Albert Giacometti (sculptor) "There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet." - Randy Pausch (1960-2008) "It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan (1934-1996) "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.

Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) "Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street." - Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) "There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint Exupery "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It&#39s the transition that&#39s troublesome." - Isaac Asimov "If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." - Carl Sagan (1934-1996) "It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one&#39s doubts." - G. B. Burgin "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action." - Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger" by Ian L.

Fleming (1908-1964) "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix "A clever man commits no minor blunders." - Goethe (1749-1832) "Unable to suppress love, the Church wanted at least to disinfect it, and it created marriage." - Charles Baudelaire (1821-1867) "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they&#39re yours." - Richard Bach "A witty saying proves nothing." - Voltaire (1694-1778) "Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera." - James Stephens (1882-1950) "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault." - Henry Kissinger (1923-) "Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." - Will Durant "I have often regretted my speech, never my silence." - Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.) "It

 was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "If everything seems under control, you&#39re just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti "I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic.

I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means." - Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925. "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford (1863-1947) "I'll sleep when I'm dead." - Warren Zevon (1947-2003) "There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) "When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) "The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you.

If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head." - Jean Cocteau (1889-1963) "Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together." - Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799) "Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it" - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) "While we are postponing, life speeds by." - Seneca (3BC - 65AD) "Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?" - Bumper Sticker "God, please save me from your followers!" - Bumper Sticker "Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches." - the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) "Luck is the residue of design." - Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team "Tr

agedy is when I cut my finger.

Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) "Wit is educated insolence." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates (470-399 B.C.) "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't" - Erica Jong (1942-) "Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man." - Erica Jong (1942-) "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou (1928-) "Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) "A narcissist is someone better looking than you are." - Gore Vidal "Wise

 men make proverbs, but fools repeat them." - Samuel Palmer (1805-80) "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows." - Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975) "Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny." - Guy Davenport "When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) "Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) "The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.

The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth." - Niels Bohr (1885-1962) "We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?" - Niels Bohr (1885-1962) "When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." - Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983) "In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." - Paul Dirac (1902-1984) "I would have made a good Pope." - Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994) "In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience." - W.B.

Prescott "Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin." - John von Neumann (1903-1957) "The mistakes are all waiting to be made." - chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position "It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) "Grove giveth and Gates taketh away." - Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation." - H. H.

Munro (Saki) (1870-1916) "There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C. A. R. Hoare "Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) "What do you take me for, an idiot?" - General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy "I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W.

Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon." - Bill Hirst "Three o&#39clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." - Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines." - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) "It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) "A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F.

Kennedy (1917-1963) "Logic is in the eye of the logician." - Gloria Steinem "No one can earn a million dollars honestly." - William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) "Everything has been figured out, except how to live." - Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) "Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech." - Martin Fraquhar Tupper "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas (1900-1966) "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter.

Some day I intend reading it." - Groucho Marx (1895-1977) "It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "When ideas fail, words come in very handy." - Goethe (1749-1832) "In the end, everything is a gag." - Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) "The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people." - Lucille S.

Harper "You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there." - Yogi Berra "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known." - Walt Disney (1901-1966) "He who hesitates is a damned fool." - Mae West (1892-1980) "Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater." - Gail Godwin "University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small." - Henry Kissinger (1923-) "The graveyards are full of indispensable men." - Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970) "You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty." - Sacha Guitry (1885-1957) "Behind every great fortune there is a crime." - Honore de Balzac (1799-1850) "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." - Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975) "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

 (1854-1900) "Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Monogamy is the same." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." - General George Patton (1885-1945) "Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) "There is no sincerer love than the love of food." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking." - Katherine Cebrian "I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it." - Steven Wright "Mr.

Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour." - Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868) "Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure." - Oliver Herford (1863-1935) "I have read your book and much like it." - Moses Hadas (1900-1966) "The covers of this book are too far apart." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) "Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers.

My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them." - Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964) "Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end." - Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971) "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung." - Voltaire (1694-1778) "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." - Mae West (1892-1980) "I don't know anything about music.

In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley (1935-1977) "No Sane man will dance." - Cicero (106-43 B.C.) "Hell is a half-filled auditorium." - Robert Frost (1874-1963) "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." - Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) "Vote early and vote often." - Al Capone (1899-1947) "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) "Few things are harder to put up with than a good example." - Mark Twain (1835-1910) - Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) "Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." - Robert J.

Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion) "Happiness is good health and a bad memory." - Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982) "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." - Thomas Jones "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone (1899-1947) "The gods too are fond of a joke." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) "Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) "The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." - Gloria Leonard "It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man." - Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America.

If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben "The cynics are right nine times out of ten." - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) "There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him." - Revelation 6:8

Question: Which famous product was advertised on TV with the words "it won't let you down"?
Answer: SURE