Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. ... by Joan Rivers Please sign-up for my Free Inspirational Daily Email on the form below. Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email. Your E-Mail Address: Your Name: To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you. Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way. Don't follow any advice , no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise. - Joan Rivers Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. - Joan Rivers The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.' - Joan Rivers She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven. - Joan Rivers You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

- Joan Rivers I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. - Joan Rivers A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. - Joan Rivers It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who. - Joan Rivers My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. - Joan Rivers I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - Joan Rivers My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy. - Joan Rivers I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are. - Joan Rivers People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

- Joan Rivers There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. - Joan Rivers Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'. - Joan Rivers Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too. Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. - Joan Rivers The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found. - Joan Rivers I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. - Joan Rivers Never floss with a stranger. - Joan Rivers My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord.

For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. - Joan Rivers It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. - Joan Rivers "Why, for any old thing." - Robert Baden-Powell, [as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook] I am the Wizard. This world is mine. I speak. It's done. My realm is fine. My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice. It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice. I say happy, or I say mad. I say angry, or I say glad. I name that drawing on the wall. It's not graffiti after all. The past has been broken. The prison's not real. My word holds the magic - the power to heal. Intent is my weapon - a sword from above. Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love. This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy. Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy. I choose. I speak. My will is done. Come join. Come play. This can be fun.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie Give a boy address and accomplishments and you give him the mastery of palaces and fortunes where he goes. - Ralph Waldo Emerson The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne A fairly bright boy is far more intelligent and far better company than the average adult. - John B. S. Haldane A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley Inside every working anarchy, there's an Old Boy Network. - Mitchell Kapor Who's a boy gonna talk to if not his mother? - Donald E. Westlake What must it be like for a little boy to read that daddy never loved mummy? - Princess Diana When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow To people who remember JFK's assassination, JFK Jr. will probably always be that boy saluting his father's coffin. - Michael Beschloss All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

- Proverb When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain to live happily and without regret, knowing that you have done your best. - the Boy Scout Handbook I was a bad boy as a child. - Andy Dick A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun." - The Maugles That's my advice to all homosexuals, whether they're in the Boy Scouts, or in the Army or in high school: Shut up, don't tell anybody what you do, your life will be a lot easier. - Bill O'Reilly Michael Coleman, now that was a boy that taught me some stuff too. - Jimmy Smith I go gladly to my wife and boy, and I leave this world at peace with every one in it and at peace with God. - Alex Campbell I suppose I was a little bit of what would be called today a nerd. I didn't have girlfriends, and really I wasn't a very social boy.

- Charles Kuralt Everybody else's character, they knew where they were at already as a superhero. But invisible boy's character, you kind of grow up with him within the movie. - Kel Mitchell The filth and noise of the crowded streets soon destroy the elasticity of health which belongs to the country boy. - Rutherford B. Hayes I also used to work in the Catskill Mountains as a bus boy, and I performed in talent shows. - Barry Mann Everybody thinks I'm, like, a bad boy. I've had my day, but I just sit at home and play the blues mostly. - Brad Renfro Boy, oh, boy, people get jaded fast. I got nominated for an Emmy. - Noah Wyle It's easy for me to say that now, now I'm a father, I've got a four-and-a-half year old boy, I'm a different person. Well, I'm still the same person, but I'm different. - Alan Vega I didn't want to be known as Madonna's playboy, her boy toy. I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.

- Billy Joel The first essential in a boy's career is to find out what he's fitted for, what he's most capable of doing and doing with a relish. - Charles M. Schwab When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. - Ingrid Newkirk A boy's story is the best that is ever told. - Charles Dickens A boy is holding a girl so very tight in his arms tonight. - Edward VIII In Scouting, a boy is encouraged to educate himself instead of being instructed. I began as a boy with artistic talent... as a visual artist... I thought that was what I'd become and in my late teens drifted into reading serious literature. - Russell Banks I don't remember having a crush on a boy when I was a girl. I don't even remember my first kiss. - Maureen O'Hara I mean if you put all of your eggs in one basket, boy, and that thing blows up you've got a real problem. - Jerry Bruckheimer But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

- Drew Carey Thank you for visiting these Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. ... by Joan Rivers. Please sign up on the form below to receive my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email. May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Joan Rivers: Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. | SComedy Joan Rivers: Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. Comedian Joan Rivers Dead: Her Most Memorable Insults | Hollywood Reporter COMMENTS AP Images "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier" Joan Rivers wasn't one to hold back. The comedian and Fashion Police host was never shy about harshly critiquing Hollywood, politicians and foreign leaders, living and dead. She cracked jokes at the expense of Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Lawrence, Whitney Houston, President Obama and Princess Diana, among others.

As The Hollywood Reporter looks back at the legendary, tart-tongued comedian, who died Thursday at 81 , check out some of her best insults, both clever and shockingly offensive. Sarah Palin: When TMZ asked Rivers her thoughts on Sarah Palin, including whether the former Alaska governor should be president, Rivers started her remarks with what seemed like glowing praise, before going in for the kill. "I think that Sarah Palin is an amazing woman. I think she represents everything a strong woman should be," Rivers said. "And she should go someplace, like to another planet, and show them, and get out of our face." Watch more of her comments about Palin below. Tommy Lee Jones: It's fairly apparent to anyone who's watched Tommy Lee Jones at an awards show or on the red carpet that he's not the most playful person. Rivers was a bit more blunt in her assessment of Jones in the below interview, saying, "He makes Hitler look warm and fuzzy." Robin Quivers: Rivers unleashed a string of insults when she fired back at those who roasted her in her 2009 Comedy Central roast, but one of her most memorable slams was directed at Howard Stern's sidekick Robin Quivers.

Claiming that Quivers often mentions that her father molested her, Rivers said, "You should be thrilled he paid any attention to you at all. I saw you backstage, bitch. You look like a f—in' mudslide." Watch the video below to see her full speech, including a few other choice slams for Gilbert Gottfried and Brad Garrett. Whitney Houston: Rivers even poked fun at dead stars, including Whitney Houston, writing of the late singer in here 2012 book I Hate Everyone … Starting With Me , "I hate Houston. It's crawling with bugs. Oh, wait, that's Whitney Houston; I'm sorry, my bad. (Can I just mention that Whitney looked fabulous at the Grammys? She was in mahogany from head to toe.)" Heidi Klum: The Jewish comedian drew the wrath of the Anti-Defamation League when she joked about Heidi Klum's 2013 Oscars dress by saying, "The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens." She later defended the remark on HLN's Showbiz Tonight, saying "It's a joke, number one. Number two, it is about the Holocaust.

This is the way I remind people about the Holocaust. I do it through humor." Jennifer Lawrence: Rivers took the below shot at Jennifer Lawrence on Twitter after the Oscar winner dissed E's Fashion Police . WAIT! It just dawned on me why Jennifer Lawrence fell on her way up to the stage to get her Oscar. She tripped over her own arrogance. — Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) November 12, 2013 Lindsay Lohan: Rivers often went after one of Hollywood's favorite punching bags, Lindsay Lohan, tweeting the below allusion to the troubled actress' many court appearances. Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn't mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor.

— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) July 9, 2010 Kristen Stewart: In her latest (and final) book Diary of a Mad Diva, Rivers joked about Kristen Stewart's affair with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, writing, "The best one-trick-pony is Kristen Stewart, who got a whole career by being able to juggle a director's balls." President and Michelle Obama: In an impromptu interview with a reporter in New York City two months ago , Rivers went after both President Obama and First Lady Michelle. When asked whether the U.S. will ever see a gay president, Rivers responded, "We already have it with Obama, so let's just calm down." She then added, "You know Michelle is a tranny … a transgender. We all know." Princess Diana: Even the beloved late royal Princess Diana wasn't off limits for Rivers. On a British-themed episode of Fashion Police, Rivers shocked U.K.

viewers when she alluded to Diana's fatal car accident , saying, "If you ever want to go to Paris, fly; don't take the tunnel." Elizabeth Taylor: The late actress was one of Rivers' favorite targets, with the comedian often joking about Taylor's weight. "Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds," Rivers once said . Jennifer Aniston: Rivers slammed Jennifer Aniston (and Demi Moore and Helena Bonham Carter) in a 2011 interview with US Weekly's website , saying of the former Friends star, "I'm so bored with her and her stupid movies," she said. "They're all the same. I don't know how they get financed." Jay Leno: At the 2009 TCA press tour , Rivers took aim at NBC's decision to let Jay Leno host his short-lived 10 p.m. talk show after he relinquished The Tonight Show to Conan O'Brien. "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier," she said.

"When was the last time you heard, 'Did you hear what Leno said last night?' It will be nice for the Midwest because their crops will be greener." Britney Spears: "I can't wait for [Britney Spears'] career to be over so she can serve me coffee at a 7-11. She's such white trash." Marie Osmond: "Marie Osmond is so pure, not even Moses could even part her knees." Taylor Swift: "Taylor Swift's knees have been together more than Melissa and I." Boy George: "Boy George is all England needs — another queen who can't dress." Yoko Ono: "If I found Yoko Ono floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog." Adele: "I met Adele! What's her song, 'Rolling in the Deep'? She should add 'fried chicken.' " Justin Bieber: "I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian — and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had." Mick Jagger: "Mick Jagger could French kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips." Madonna: "Madonna is so hairy.

When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit." Michael Jackson: "The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault. I told him to date only twenty-eight-year-olds. Who knew he would find 20 of them?" Part of this story originally appeared on billboard.com . Joan Rivers: her best one-liners - Telegraph Joan Rivers: her best one-liners After the death of Joan Rivers, we look at her funniest one-liners By Helena Kealey 8:45PM BST 04 Sep 2014 The acid-tongued comedienne Joan Rivers has died after she had been put into a medically-induced coma last Thursday. The 81-year-old had suffered a heart attack during a routine throat operation. Rivers was famous for her age-defying plastic surgeries, quick humour and crushing put-downs - and we don’t believe anything should stop her witticisms from making our toes curl. Here we’ve rounded up some of her funniest and cruellest one-liners...

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio” "I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked" Related Articles 19 Oct 2005 “If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly” "I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'The man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds" "I don't exercise.

If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor" “At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass” “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on” “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police” “All babies look like Renee Zellweger pushed against a glass window” “Joan Collins told a reporter that she hadn’t had plastic surgery; come on… she’s had more tucks than a motel bed sheet” “She’s so fat, she’s my two best friends” “Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can’t dress” “My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, 'Pick up, I know you’re there'” "I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware" "I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house and she said, 'Get the hell off my property'" "My husband wanted to be cremated.

I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus — that way, I'd visit him every day" "Before we make love, my husband takes a painkiller" "I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry" "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it is missing and what's there stinks" "My vagina is like Newark.

Men know it's there, but they don't want to visit" "My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark" "I said to my husband, 'My boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes with everything'" "Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty" "Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television" "No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card" Joan Rivers tour: Her bitchiest putdowns and funniest one-liner jokes as she prepares for Royal Albert Hall gig - Mirror Online Buy tickets to Joan Rivers' UK tour here 1) It's been so long since I made love, I can't remember who gets tied up. 2) I’ve worked with Angelina Jolie. She saw a sign that said ”WET FLOOR” one time, and she did. 3) I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewellery. 4) I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.

5) My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks. 6) All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window. The big hair years: Joan on ITV's 'An Audience with Joan Rivers', 1984 (Photo: Rex) 7) I had a cold and my doctor recommended coffee enemas. I can never go back to Starbucks... 8) I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. 9) Katie Holmes is not a very good actress. Did you see her try and play John F. Kennedy's wife? She was so bad he shot himself in it.

10) I said to my husband, "Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?" He said, "I don't want to wake you up." 11) I hate thin people; “Oh, does this tampon make me look fat?” Video Loading Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8Cancel Play now 12) I said to my mother-in-law, "My house is your house." She said, "Get the hell off my property." 13) Madonna is so hairy. When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.? 14) All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.? 15) Bo Derek is so stupid she returns bowling balls because they've got holes in them. 16) My vagina is like Newark. Men know it's there but they don't want to visit. 17) I said to my husband, "my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs".

He said, "Blue goes with everything." Beginnings of a legend: On the Joan Rivers Show in 1969 (Photo: Rex) 18) At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents. 19) When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off. 20) The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she is shopping. 21) I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “The man goes on top and the woman underneath.” For three years, my husband and I slept in bunk beds. 22) My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark. 23) Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. Video Loading Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8Cancel Play now 24) I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

25) I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: 'Last Girl Before Freeway.' 26) Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress. 27) I have so little sex appeal my gynaecologist calls me "sir". 28) I have so little sex appeal my gynaecologist examines me by telephone. 29) Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her. Plastic surgery? Me? Joan has admitted numerous trips under the knife (Photo: Getty) 30) I hate euphemisms. “My Ralphie passed this morning.” No he didn't. He's dead. He's not passing anything. He can't move. That's the whole point, you idiot. 31) I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said, “I don’t believe it.” 32) As a Jew, I don't want to see Mel Gibson at a party.

I don't want to run into him in the kitchen because there’s an oven in it and I’m afraid of what he might do. 33) A man can sleep around, no questions asked. But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp. 34) It's so EASY being a Catholic. All you have to do is get f***ed by a priest, and they give you a set of candlesticks. Video Loading 35) Marie Osmond is so pure, not even Moses could even part her knees. 36) I spit on education. No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card. 37) My daughter and I are very close. We speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.” And she says the same thing back, “How’d you get this new number?” 38) I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. 39) I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

40) Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat, she puts mayonnaise on her aspirins. On stage: Joan Rivers in 1974 at the Millrun Playhouse, Illinois (Photo: Rex) 41) All I ever heard when I was a kid was, “why can't you be more like your cousin Sheila?” And Sheila had died at birth. 42) Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. 43) If I found Yoko Ono floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog. 44) I bought a pedigree dog for $300. My friend said, "Give me $300. and I'll shit on your carpet." 45) Every woman in this room tonight: Think like a second wife. You grab and you take. You grab and you take. And when you die, whatever you got out of him you have buried on you. If the next bitch wants it, make her dig for it. Video Loading 46) Joan Collins lies about her age so much we should have her body carbon-dated.

47) I’m not saying she’s easy, but she’s been in so many motel rooms her nickname is ‘Gideon.’ 48) I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again. 49) If Kate Winslet had dropped a few pounds, the Titanic would never have sunk. 50) I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. Hounded: Joan and dog Spike in 1987 (Photo: Getty) 51) When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now... once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time. 52) A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy. 53) Gay marriage - I am so against it because all my gay friends are out. And if they get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts. 54) My husband killed himself. And it was my fault. We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

55) When I was born, my mother asked the doctor “will she live?” He said: “Only if you take your foot off her throat”. Video Loading Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8Cancel Play now 56) Don't talk to me about Valentine's Day. At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass. 57) You want to get Cindy Crawford confused? Ask her to spell 'mom' backwards. 58) My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. 59) When I saw her sex tape, all I could think of were Paris Hilton's poor parents. The shame, the shame of the Hilton family. To have your daughter do a porno film... in a Marriott hotel. Big boob: Joan is groped by Kelly Osbourne on the E1 Upfront show, 2012 (Photo: REX) 60) My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. 61) Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines.

62) I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, "You are here". I wore Angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet. 63) I was the only Jewish kid in a Catholic neighbourhood. They all did Hail Marys, I did Hail Murrays. Video Loading Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8Cancel Play now 64) I blame myself for David Gest. It was me who told Liza Minnelli to find herself a man who wouldn't sleep with other women. 65) I had this old guy give me a hickey - he left his teeth in my neck 66) The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life. 67) Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the?inoleum. "My God, the floor's immaculate! Lie down, you hot bitch." 68) Melanie Griffith is very sweet but dumb - the lights are on but the dogs aren't barking.

69) People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. Friends again: Camilla Parker Bowles and Joan Rivers attend a Polo game, 28th June 2003 (Photo: Rex) 70) Camilla Parker-Bowles is so ugly that at airports they make her frisk herself 71) Grandchildren can be so f***ing annoying. How many times can you go, "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking to a supermodel. 72) No-one says this, but the vagina drops. I looked down a few years ago and thought, "Why am I wearing a bunny slipper?" 73) The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault. I told him to date only twenty-eight-year-olds. Who knew he would find 20 of them? 74) I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid. 75) Bo Derek has no concept of Roman numerals. She thinks we just fought World War Eleven.

76) My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn. Video Loading Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8Cancel Play now 77) I can confirm Russell Crowe does not wear deodorant. In Australia I believe that they call that animal magnetism. 78) You know it’s time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary. 79) How could Princess Di not be happy? She was tall, thin, gorgeous and rich with a husband who didn't want to sleep with her. And she had a crown! 80) I met Adele! What's her song, Rolling In The Deep? She should add 'fried chicken' Most Read Most Recent Most Read Most Recent Joan Rivers’ best celebrity burns | New York Post Joan Rivers’ best celebrity burns Joan Rivers' death leaves gaping hole on rebooted 'Fashion Police' She was ruffling feathers until the very end — and that’s just the way we liked her.

Only last June, Joan Rivers claimed she was being sued by “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart for a crack in the late comedian’s book “Diary of a Mad Diva.” “Many stars only do one thing well,” Rivers wrote. “Of course, the best one-trick pony is Kristen Stewart, who got a whole career by being able to juggle a director’s balls.” Stewart was hardly the only star Rivers joked about. Pretty much everyone in Hollywood has been stung by Rivers’ sharp tongue at one time or another. The comedian once justified the cracks by saying she only went after those “who make $40 million a year,” so they should just get over it. And hey, to many, it was an honor to be roasted by the great Joan. Cher supposedly got upset when Rivers stopped making fun of her in the act. Here are 26 more stars who got burned by Rivers. MadonnaBauer-Griffin.com MADONNA “Madonna is so hairy.

When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.” “Madonna has just lost 30 pounds — she shaved her legs.” LINDSAY LOHAN “Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn’t mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor.” ANGELINA JOLIE’S ENGAGEMENT RING “Not only did Brad Pitt help design the ring, he also bought all the kids who mined it.” Jennifer LawrenceYouTube JENNIFER LAWRENCE “It just dawned on me why Jennifer Lawrence fell on her way up to the stage to get her Oscar. She tripped over her own arrogance.” BOY GEORGE “Boy George is all England needs — another queen who can’t dress.” TOM CRUISE “Did you hear Tom Cruise just had a baby? He was there when it was born. He should have been there when it was conceived.” THE KARDASHIANS “I hope these [Kardashian] girls somewhere will find true love standing up. They’ve had more men land on them than we’d had in Afghanistan.” MICHAEL JACKSON “The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault.

I told him to date only 28-year-olds. Who knew he would find 20 of them?” PARIS HILTON “When I saw her sex tape, all I could think of were Paris Hilton’s poor parents. The shame, the shame of the Hilton family. To have your daughter do a porno film — in a Marriott hotel.” KATE WINSLET “If Kate Winslet had dropped a few pounds, the Titanic would never have sunk.” Stevie WonderGetty STEVIE WONDER “Stevie Wonder, that poor son of a bitch. Who’s going to tell him he’s wearing a macramé plant holder on his head?” JAY LENO “I’ve never done Jay Leno, but I’m sort of glad about that. He wouldn’t know what to do with someone funny.” JUSTIN BIEBER “That little bitch just gets on my nerves. Someone needs to sit him down and say, ‘You are not a big, black thug. You are just like your shoes. Ordinary and completely white. Stop it!’ ” MELISSA RIVERS “My daughter, I’m very close . . . but I brought her up all wrong . . .

She turned down doing a Playboy magazine cover . . . $400,000 naked to the waist. Turned it f - - king down, and calls me for approval. For approval! ‘Mother, I’ve turned down Playboy, what do you think?’ . . . What do I think? What do I think, you stupid, f - - king c - - t, what do I think? I think you should have asked for $200,000 more and shown them your p - - - y, that’s what I think.” TAYLOR SWIFT “Taylor Swift’s knees have been together more than Melissa and I.” CINDY CRAWFORD “You want to get Cindy Crawford confused? Ask her to spell mom backwards.” Kim Kardashian and Kanye WestREX KIMYE “He’s got a big shot there for at least 79 days.” ELIZABETH TAYLOR “Elizabeth Taylor is so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.” MERYL STREEP “At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.” DAVID GEST “I blame myself for David Gest.

It was me who told Liza Minnelli to find herself a man who wouldn’t sleep with other women.” PRINCESS DIANA “If you ever want to go to Paris, fly. Don’t take the tunnel.” NORTH WEST “That baby is ugly. I’ve never seen a 6-month-old so desperately in need of a waxing.” MARIE OSMOND “Marie Osmond is so pure, not even Moses could even part her knees.” GWYNETH PALTROW “Look at Gwyneth Paltrow being named the most beautiful this year. She got Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder to vote.” Camilla Parker-BowlesGetty “Camilla Parker-Bowles is so ugly that at airports they make her frisk herself.” BRITNEY SPEARS “I can’t wait for her career to be over so she can serve me coffee at a 7-Eleven. She’s such white trash.” Share this: Joan Rivers' Top 10 Musician Insults, Taylor Swift to Michael Jackson | Billboard Philip Hollis/REX USA Joan Rivers photographed in 2005.

To say celebrities had love-hate relationships with Joan Rivers would be an understatement, as surely her scathing attention is a symbol of "making it" but also comes with the comedian's wrath. And judging from her stand-up bits, one-line zingers and interviews, it seems Rivers often reciprocated those feelings. Joan Rivers Dies at Age 81 "You can tune me out, you can click me off, it’s okay," the late Rivers told The Hollywood Reporter last year. "I am not going to bow to political correctness. But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can’t be part of the party. Meaning, you can’t go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you’re going to make a joke about her that night." It seems Rivers -- who died Thursday (Sept. 4) at age 81 -- seldom minded being outside the party and rarely missed an opportunity to crack a joke at a celebrity's expense. Of course, a number of famous musicians were caught in her crosshairs over the years, sparking sometimes more than a laugh and even ongoing feuds. Here's a list of Rivers' harshest musician one-liners: 10.

"I can't wait for [ Britney Spears '] career to be over so she can serve me coffee at a 7-11. She's such white trash." 9. " Marie Osmond is so pure, not even Moses could even part her knees." 8. " Taylor Swift 's knees have been together more than Melissa and I." 7. " Boy George is all England needs -- another queen who can't dress." 6. "If I found Yoko Ono floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog." 5. "I met Adele ! What's her song, 'Rolling in the Deep'? She should add 'fried chicken.'" 4. "I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had." 3. " Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips." 2. " Madonna is so hairy. When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit." 1. "The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault. I told him to date only 'twenty-eight-year-olds.' Who knew he would find 20 of them?"

Question: ‘He’s all England needs – another queen who can’t dress’ by Joan Rivers?
Answer: Boy George