I wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for Tokyo House. I've been frequenting this establishment since I was weaned off my mother's nipple. All the time, people ask me: \"How'd you grow to be so tall and handsome?\" I don't tell them that it was genetics. I tell them that it was all the good eatin' at Tokyo House.\n\nMy mom told me that when I was born my head was four times larger than my body, and because of my explosive bouts of infantile diarrhea, I wasn't able to gain weight. In layman terms, my head-to-body ratio was way out of whack, and it started creating all sorts of health problems. The doctor said that my huge head was consuming so many calories that it destroyed my immune system and put the rest of my body in a state of malnutrition. He told my poor mother that I only had two weeks before my head consumed my little limbs. Thirteen days after the doctor's diagnosis, I looked like a pink balloon on a limp string (the string being my last identifiable extremity, if you know what I mean.) My string started receding into my head like a toddler sucking up a wet spaghetti noodle. My mother thought that it was the end for me. She didn't know a better way to send me out of this cruel world than to serve me a proper last supper. She drove us to Tokyo House, ordered the Teriyaki Chicken, whispered her goodbyes to me, and stuffed my head with that magical food. \n\nI owe my life to Tokyo House. It's because of them (and the awesome Asian man at the front register) that I'm alive today.