Writing prompt: Sweeping Snow

Student essay:
When I got up, I opened the curtain and found it was snowing. The whole world became white. It was very beautiful. I decided to go outside to take some photos.
It was cold, so I put on my overcoat. When I walked on the street, I took lots of wonderful pictures. Suddenly, I saw a man who walked in front of me fell down.
I went back home immediately. I took a broom and wanted to sweep the snow.
When the person who walked on the street saw I clean the snow. They praised me for my behavior.
Helping others makes me feel happy and I am proud of myself.

Corrected essay:
When I got up, I opened the curtain and found it was snowing. The whole world became white. It was very beautiful. I decided to go outside to take some photos.
It was cold, so I put on my overcoat. When I walked on the street, I took lots of wonderful pictures. Suddenly, I saw a man who was walking in front of me fall down.
I went back home immediately. I took a broom and wanted to sweep the snow. When the people who were walking on the street saw me cleaning the snow, they praised me for my behavior.
Helping others made me feel happy and I was proud of myself.