Writing prompt: The Advantages and Disadvantages of Private Cars

Student essay:
As the standard of living is getting higher, more and more people are buying cars.I think private cars have the advantages and disadvantages.
First of all, private cars save time and physical strength for people.It is very important for the fast paced society. In addition,private cars give people private space in public places so that people can focus on work or study.However, people getting much too comfortable cause unhealthy bodies and laziness.What's worse, so horrible is the inevitable traffic accident.
In my opinion, now that the private cars are an indispensable part of people's lives in modern city,We should take advantages of private cars and make them serve us better. Meantime we hope that satisfactory solutions to these negative problems will be found soon.

Corrected essay:
As the standard of living is getting higher, more and more people are buying cars. I think private cars have advantages and disadvantages.
First of all, private cars save time and physical strength for people. It is very important for the fast-paced society. In addition, private cars give people private space in public places so that people can focus on work or study. However, people getting much too comfortable causes unhealthy bodies and laziness. What's worse, so horrible are the inevitable traffic accidents.
In my opinion, now that private cars are an indispensable part of people's lives in modern cities, we should take advantage of private cars and make them serve us better. Meantime we hope that satisfactory solutions to these negative problems will be found soon.