Writing prompt: Written Expression Practice 1

Student essay:
Dear Chris,
I'm L, monitor of Class One, Grade Eleven. I'm pleased to hear that you are coming to our school as an exchange student, and I, on behalf of all my classmates, give a sincere and warm welcome to you. In order to help you adapt to the new environment. I'll give you a brief introduction of our city and class.
The weather here in winter can be a little cold, so it is necessary for you to bring some thick clothes. What's more, there are a variety of traditional Chinese food which will surely attract you a lot. Besides, our classmates are all friendly and enthusiastic. So whenever you get into trouble, they are ready to do you a favor. I'm firmly convinced that you will get on well with us.
In addition to. I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America for us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding. but also broaden our horizons. Above all, I'm looking forward to your coming.
Yours
L

Corrected essay:
Dear Chris,
I'm L, monitor of Class One, Grade Eleven. I'm pleased to hear that you are coming to our school as an exchange student, and I, on behalf of all my classmates, give a sincere and warm welcome to you. In order to help you adapt to the new environment, I'll give you a brief introduction to our city and class.
The weather here in winter can be a little cold, so it is necessary for you to bring some thick clothes. What's more, there is a variety of traditional Chinese food, which will surely attract you a lot. Besides, our classmates are all friendly and enthusiastic, so whenever you get into trouble, they are ready to do you a favor. I'm firmly convinced that you will get on well with us.
In addition, I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America to us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding but also broaden our horizons. Above all, I'm looking forward to your coming.
Yours,
L