Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online frequently and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Almost three fourths of my class see getting online as a convenient and modern way to access knowledge beyond school. It saves much more time than searching a thick book for the information we need ,and that will help us have enough time to broaden our horizons. Besides , we are allowed to communicate with our friends and share the things like our favorite songs with them via getting online.
There are also a part of students saying getting online makes it easy to get relaxed for them.
Some students hold a negative attitude towards getting online. In their opinion, it's harmful to our eyes. And we may lose ourselves in chatting and online games in a easy way. That is particularly bad for not only our study but also for our body and mind. What's more, getting online wastes too much time and energy. Our daily timetable will be destroyed greatly as well.
In my opinion ,getting online is a pretty positive way to study and relax ourselves.It has a great number of advantages, for example, we can get the latest news via getting online, we are able to make friends all around the world. But we shouldn't lose ourselves in it. We need control the balance between getting online and our daily life. If so, life will be more convenient and enjoyable.

Corrected essay:
Recently, I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online frequently and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Almost three fourths of my class see getting online as a convenient and modern way to access knowledge beyond school. It saves much more time than searching a thick book for the information we need, and that will help us have enough time to broaden our horizons. Besides, we are allowed to communicate with our friends and share things like our favorite songs with them via getting online.
There are also some students saying getting online makes it easy for them to relax.
Some students hold a negative attitude towards getting online. In their opinion, it's harmful to our eyes. And we may lose ourselves in chatting and online games in a easy way. That is particularly bad for not only our study but also for our bodies and minds. What's more, getting online wastes too much time and energy. Our daily timetable will be greatly disrupted as well.
In my opinion, getting online is a pretty positive way to study and relax. It has a great number of advantages. For example, we can get the latest news via getting online, and we are able to make friends all around the world. But we shouldn't lose ourselves in it. We need to keep a balance between getting online and our daily life. If so, life will be more convenient and enjoyable.