Writing prompt: Ban Smoking in Public Places

Student essay:
In order to ban cigarettes, the Chinese government decided to stick signs of "No Cigarettes" in all indoor public areas throughout the whole country from November 1st, 2011.
According to the informations, There are 3.5 billion people who have the habit of smoking and near 5.4 billion people affected by second-hand smoke in China. More than 10 million people are died because of second-hand smoke each year. According to the report, There are 75% of the smokers are males and 25% of the smokers are females.

Corrected essay:
In order to ban cigarettes, the Chinese government decided to stick signs of "No Cigarettes" in all indoor public areas throughout the whole country from November 1st, 2011.
According to the information, there are 350 million people who have the habit of smoking and nearly 540 million people affected by second-hand smoke in China. More than 10 million people die because of second-hand smoke each year. According to the report, 75% of the smokers are males and 25% of the smokers are females.