Writing prompt: Love around Me

Student essay:
In my opinion,there is much love around me.For example,my mum looks after me carefully and faithfully,and my dad gives me a chance to study as well as a warm house to live in.I have lots of excitement because of the love from my parents.I feel lucky and comfortable so that I want to show the love to others.I will be friendly to everyone and give some money to the poor.Let's take action to show our love!

Corrected essay:
In my opinion, there is much love around me. For example, my mum looks after me carefully and faithfully, and my dad gives me a chance to study as well as a warm house to live in. I have lots of excitement because of the love from my parents. I feel lucky and comfortable so I want to show the love to others. I will be friendly to everyone and give some money to the poor. Let's take action to show our love!