Writing prompt: Dear Professor Frank Jason

Student essay:
I am Z, the chairman of the Student Union of Y High School. I'm writing to invite you to give a lecture about how to improve our English writing.
Recently, we carried out some examinations and the result shows that we have a great deal of problems on English writing, and thus I want to invite you to give us some useful advice. For example, most of the students could do nothing but simply put the events in order. Besides, they have no idea on how to decorate their words and sentences which can improve their marks.
As a result, we decide to hold a lecture in our Lecture Hall next Wednesday. We all agree that you are the best person to be the lecturer. I will be very glad if you can deliver a lecture for us.
Yours
Z

Corrected essay:
I am Z, the chairman of the Student Union of Y High School. I'm writing to invite you to give a lecture about how to improve our English writing.
Recently, we carried out some examinations and the result shows that we have a great deal of problems with English writing, and thus I want to invite you to give us some useful advice. For example, most of the students could do nothing but simply put the events in order. Besides, they have no idea how to decorate their words and sentences which can improve their marks.
As a result, we have decided to hold a lecture in our Lecture Hall next Wednesday. We all agree that you are the best person to be the lecturer. I will be very glad if you can deliver a lecture for us.
Yours,
Z