Writing prompt: Practice

Student essay:
Everyone must agree that reading plays an irreplaceable role among their life. When they study books, they not only develop skill, but also take fun.However, people hold different opinions about which one is better between learning by book and learning by doing, everyone has sufficient cause for their opinion. People argue about it for a long time without a result.
In my opinion, doing is as important as reading. Even the book has so much great cause, however, it was only the left leg of our human society. Otherwise, the other leg is practice.
When I was young, my parents told me a proverb"discusses the military on paper", which tells a story about a militarist who only read books but doesn't take the actual combat seriously. He accepted a miserable ending. I think it tells us that practicing need to be valued. The world is various enough that there does be something you can't learn by the book, and then practice arrives the point.

Corrected essay:
Everyone must agree that reading plays an irreplaceable role in their lives. When they study books, they not only develop skills, but also have fun. However, people hold different opinions about which is better between learning by book and learning by doing. Everyone has sufficient cause for their opinion. People argue about it for a long time without a result.
In my opinion, doing is as important as reading. Even though books have so much great value, they are only the left leg of our human society, whereas the other leg is practice.
When I was young, my parents told me a proverb, "discussing the military on paper," which tells a story about a militarist who only read books but didn't take actual combat seriously. He met a miserable ending. I think it tells us that practice needs to be valued. The world is varied enough that there are things you can't learn from books, and that is where practice becomes essential.