Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Experience in My Summer Vacation

Student essay:
This year is my first time that I didn't spend the Spring Festival with my family in Tianjin.I went to Hainan to go on holiday.I always felt a bit sad,especially on the New Year's Eve.
After giving my grandma a call,I missed her very much.I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life,then I couldn't help crying in the carridor.
Maybe I let out such a sharp cry,an old lady came out to see what happened.She was my neighbour in the apartment.She walked up to me,with pity in her face.She touched me by the shoulder and asked what was wrong with me softly.I told her the reason why I felt so sad.
She seemed to understand something.She held my hand and walked toward her room.I got a shock:nobody was in the room,but there was a great number of dishes on the table.She invited my father too.She said that her husband had died since several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely,we were lonely just right,so she invited us.I was very surprised.
During the dinner,she raised me up all the time,served meals for me, and told me some of her interesting experiences.Soon, I felt happy and warm instead of sadness.We watched TV together on the sofa with luagh.
In this way,we spent a nice evening.I didn't feel sad any more.I was so moved by her behavior.She made me feel warmer than that I felt at home.
I can't forget her smile and the experience.This is the best Spring Festival which I have spent.This is my unforgettable thing during winter holiday.

Corrected essay:
This year was my first time that I didn't spend the Spring Festival with my family in Tianjin. I went to Hainan to go on holiday. I always felt a bit sad, especially on New Year's Eve.
After giving my grandma a call, I missed her very much. I thought of my grandma's care in my daily life, and then I couldn't help crying in the corridor.
Maybe I let out such a sharp cry that an old lady came out to see what happened. She was my neighbour in the apartment. She walked up to me, with pity on her face. She touched me on the shoulder and asked what was wrong with me softly. I told her the reason why I felt so sad.
She seemed to understand something. She held my hand and walked toward her room. I got a shock: nobody was in the room, but there were a great number of dishes on the table. She invited my father too. She said that her husband had died several years ago and she had to spend the Spring Festival lonely. We were lonely just right, so she invited us. I was very surprised.
During the dinner, she cheered me up all the time, served meals for me, and told me some of her interesting experiences. Soon, I felt happy and warm instead of sad. We watched TV together on the sofa with laughter.
In this way, we spent a nice evening. I didn't feel sad anymore. I was so moved by her behaviour. She made me feel warmer than I felt at home.
I can't forget her smile and the experience. This is the best Spring Festival that I have had. This is my unforgettable thing during the winter holiday.