Writing prompt: The Population Problem

Student essay:
Too much population is an important problem. Here are some points.
The first problem is materials less.Too much population will make the food.water as well as energy less and less.
Traffic problem is the second one. Too many people will have too many cars.There will be plenty of traffic accidents. It's dangerous.
The houses problem is also secious.Many people won't have place to live in. Too much population means that many people have to go to jobs,but some people will lose their jobs as well.
The environment is a problem ,too. Bad environment is harm to our health.
In a word, too much population will cause more and more problems. So we should try our best to chenge them.

Corrected essay:
Too much population is an important problem. Here are some points.
The first problem is fewer materials. Too much population will make the food, water as well as energy less and less.
The traffic problem is the second one. Too many people will have too many cars. There will be plenty of traffic accidents. It's dangerous.
The housing problem is also serious. Many people won't have a place to live in. Too much population means that many people have to go to jobs, but some people will lose their jobs as well.
The environment is a problem, too. A bad environment is harmful to our health.
In a word, too much population will cause more and more problems. So we should try our best to change them.