Writing prompt: My Memories of My First Year at School

Student essay:
As time goes by,I've already been a member of The NO.1 Senior High school .Everything in the school was new to me,So I feel very excited.
When i first saw the buildings of my school,I felt surprised that the environment there was very fantastic.The school was clean and many trees and flowers are in it.Ithought it was a good place to study.
There were many activities in first grade.Guitar optional course was my favourite.Because I had learnt the guitar before and I'm good at playing it.
My first English teacher was a handsome middle-aged man.His pronunciation of Engliah was pretty good.His method of teaching was nothing like that of teachers in my Junior High school.And I thought I could adapt this rapidly.
I also made some new friends there.Zhang Jiyuan became one of my best friends.We both lived in the same dormitory.I thought I could make more friends soon.
I'm looking forward to studing hard and having good days in the new term.

Corrected essay:
As time went by, I had already become a member of The NO.1 Senior High School. Everything in the school was new to me, so I felt very excited.
When I first saw the buildings of my school, I felt surprised that the environment there was very fantastic. The school was clean and many trees and flowers were in it. I thought it was a good place to study.
There were many activities in first grade. The guitar optional course was my favourite because I had learnt the guitar before and I was good at playing it.
My first English teacher was a handsome middle-aged man. His pronunciation of English was pretty good. His method of teaching was nothing like that of teachers in my Junior High School. And I thought I could adapt to this rapidly.
I also made some new friends there. Zhang Jiyuan became one of my best friends. We both lived in the same dormitory. I thought I could make more friends soon.
I was looking forward to studying hard and having good days in the new term.