Writing prompt: Competition

Student essay:
Comepetition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen every where nowadays. One reason for this is that they hold it, but others are not.
it is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that can be seen everywhere and everytime.
Some of them are in favor of the idea that competition can encourage people to work harder and harder that they can attain success. It is true that competition can help us to be a successful man. Wonderful as it is, however, it has its own disadvantages too. Such lavish competition may bring people tension, making them feel anxious, even drive them mad.
As far as i concerned, i don't think there should be no competition, but i think the competition should not be excessive. Properly competition is good for people.

Corrected essay:
Competition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen everywhere nowadays. One reason for this is that some people hold it, but others do not.
It is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that it can be seen everywhere and every time.
Some of them are in favor of the idea that competition can encourage people to work harder and harder so that they can attain success. It is true that competition can help us to be successful. Wonderful as it is, however, it has its own disadvantages too. Such lavish competition may bring people tension, making them feel anxious, or even driving them mad.
As far as I am concerned, I don't think there should be no competition, but I think competition should not be excessive. Proper competition is good for people.