Writing prompt: A Trip to Mount Yunmen

Student essay:
Last week I went to Mount Yunmen. When I arrived there,it was raining. We have no umbrella,so we had to buy a big umbrella to take shelter from rain.
Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou of Shandong Province. It's 421 metres high.Standing at the top of the Mount and looked down the scenery.The most famous is a word"life". It's about 7.5 metres high and 3.7 metres wide.
The air is very fresh there. There are many kinds of trees and lots of birds. I had a picnic with my parents and we took photos for the scenery.
I remained by the Mount for about half three hours,and had a great time. I felt very very happy,and I also made some friends there. I hope to go there once again.

Corrected essay:
Last week I went to Mount Yunmen. When I arrived there, it was raining. We had no umbrella, so we had to buy a big umbrella to take shelter from the rain.
Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou of Shandong Province. It's 421 metres high. Standing at the top of the Mount and looking down at the scenery was breathtaking. The most famous feature is the word "life". It's about 7.5 metres high and 3.7 metres wide.
The air is very fresh there. There are many kinds of trees and lots of birds. I had a picnic with my parents and we took photos of the scenery.
I remained by the mountain for about one and a half hours, and had a great time. I felt very, very happy, and I also made some friends there. I hope to go there once again.