Writing prompt: Fragrant Harbour: The Most Unforgettable Travel

Student essay:
I went to the Hong Kong last year. It's a sudden trip. Nevertheless I was enjoyed. As everyone knows that Hong Kong is one of the biggest cities in the world. It was also a beautiful city by the sea.
We went to the "Disneyland". This name is from California firstly. Everybody knows it was so fun and interesting."Future Land""Dreamming Land"and so on has been located there. I also bought some souvenirs. The most brilliant item is fireworks at night,so the scenery at night is the most wonderful.
We also went to some shopping centers there. They were our mothers' "Shopping Paradise". They bought lots and lots of free goods. The children looked around, all saw things in a blur.
There were many places we couldn't attend. But I also have many happy memories. I think Hong Kong is a colorful world,which is well-known for the blue sky and golden beach. Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits. But we had less time to use.
Hong Kong is a beautiful city in the daytime,but even more wonderful at night.It had some reproach. But it was also beautiful. Up to now,I am still much alive in Hong Kong 's memories. I hope we could also go there next time. But we also need look after the time.

Corrected essay:
I went to Hong Kong last year. It's a sudden trip. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it. As everyone knows, Hong Kong is one of the biggest cities in the world. It is also a beautiful city by the sea.
We went to the "Disneyland." This name is from California firstly. Everybody knows it is so fun and interesting. "Future Land," "Dreaming Land," and so on have been located there. I also bought some souvenirs. The most brilliant item is the fireworks at night, so the scenery at night was the most wonderful.
We also went to some shopping centers there. They were our mothers' "Shopping Paradise." They bought lots and lots of duty-free goods. The children looked around and saw things in a blur.
There were many places we couldn't visit. But I still have many happy memories. I think Hong Kong is a colorful world, which is well-known for the blue sky and golden beach. Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits, we had less time to spend.
Hong Kong is a beautiful city in the daytime, but even more wonderful at night. It had some flaws, but it was still beautiful. Up to now, I am still alive with memories of Hong Kong. I hope we could go there again next time. But we also need to manage the time.