Writing prompt: My Birthday

Student essay:
Dear Editor,
nowadays, many students spends their birthday by sending presents or holding parties. The way like this became popular. What do you think of this kind of condition? Some believe that spending birthday by doing this can get the chance to chat with others, it's good for your friendship between you and your classmates. It also can have a rest in your spare time. But many people disagree with this idea, their opinion is that the students would waste lots of time and money on it and make them keep up with the Joneses. It's bad for their study and their mind, and I'll agree with these ideas. Yours
HARRY

Corrected essay:
Dear Editor,
Nowadays, many students spend their birthday by sending presents or holding parties. The way like this became popular. What do you think of this kind of condition? Some believe that spending a birthday by doing this gives you the chance to chat with others. It's good for the friendship between you and your classmates. It also allows you to have a rest in your spare time. But many people disagree with this idea. Their opinion is that students would waste lots of time and money on it and try to keep up with the Joneses. It's bad for their study and their mind, and I agree with these ideas.
Yours,
HARRY