Writing prompt: An Email

Student essay:
Dear Vivian,
How are you? Long time no see. I'd liike to tell you something about my last holiday.
On my last holiday, I went to Thailand together with my parents. It was fantastic! Everything was so great, just like a dream! We flew there and stayed there for six days.It took us six hours to got to Thailand.
On the first day of the journey,we went swimming in the beautiful sea. To my surprise,finally I could swim in the sea. You know, I wasn't able to swim at all in the past.
And on the next three days, we visited a lot of places of interest. The scenery was so beautiful! We saw an elephant show in a theme park as well.
On the last two days, we went surfing in the sea and went down into the sea. I saw various kinds of fish. I was so excited because I can even touch the lovely fish! And I bought some souvenirs for my friengs as well.
Everything in Thailand was prefect! I had a great time there! I'm looking forward to going there again. And I hope we can go there together very soon.
Best wishes,
X.

Corrected essay:
Dear Vivian,
How are you? Long time no see. I'd like to tell you something about my last holiday.
On my last holiday, I went to Thailand together with my parents. It was fantastic! Everything was so great, just like a dream! We flew there and stayed there for six days. It took us six hours to get to Thailand.
On the first day of the journey, we went swimming in the beautiful sea. To my surprise, finally, I could swim in the sea. You know, I wasn't able to swim at all in the past.
And on the next three days, we visited a lot of places of interest. The scenery was so beautiful! We saw an elephant show in a theme park as well.
On the last two days, we went surfing in the sea and went down into the sea. I saw various kinds of fish. I was so excited because I can even touch the lovely fish! And I bought some souvenirs for my friends as well.
Everything in Thailand was perfect! I had a great time there! I'm looking forward to going there again. And I hope we can go there together very soon.
Best wishes,
X.