Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of them hold the view that getting online is good for us in many ways.For example,we are allowed to access more knowledge and broaden ours horizons,we can also communicate and share something meaningful with friends.Besides,it is a fun way to relaxed when we feel too tired.
But others are against the idea.They think it's a waste of time and energy. It may make us abandone ourselves to chatting online and computer games so that we lose interest in studying.As a result,our grades won't be improved.What's worse, keeping watching the computer screen does harm to our eyes.
They all have a point.But as we all know,every coin has two sides.So in my opinion,on the one hand,there are much useful information we need on the Internet,and we can have fun in our free time online.But on the other hand,we are supposed to spend the time online resonably.That would be better for us.

Corrected essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of them hold the view that getting online is good for us in many ways. For example, we are allowed to access more knowledge and broaden our horizons. We can also communicate and share something meaningful with friends. Besides, it is a fun way to relax when we feel too tired.
But others are against the idea. They think it's a waste of time and energy. It may make us abandon ourselves to chatting online and computer games so that we lose interest in studying. As a result, our grades won't be improved. What's worse, keeping watching the computer screen does harm to our eyes.
They all have a point. But as we all know, every coin has two sides. So in my opinion, on the one hand, there is much useful information we need on the Internet, and we can have fun in our free time online. But on the other hand, we are supposed to spend time online reasonably. That would be better for us.