Writing prompt: Give A Helping Hand

Student essay:
One day,a girl fainted from hungry after PE class because she did not have breakfast at all.
Some teachers and students came here immediately.After knowing why she fainted away,they took her to the hospital at once in order that she was treated in time.
Eventually,the parents of the girl was so thankful that they sent a letter of thanks to the teachers and students who helped them a lot.We should try our best to help others.The better we do,the better the world is.

Corrected essay:
One day, a girl fainted from hunger after PE class because she did not have breakfast at all.
Some teachers and students came immediately. After knowing why she fainted, they took her to the hospital at once in order that she was treated in time.
Eventually, the parents of the girl were so thankful that they sent a letter of thanks to the teachers and students who helped them a lot. We should try our best to help others. The better we do, the better the world is.