Writing prompt: My Birthday

Student essay:
Hello everyone,my name is Alice,that is my favorite gift.He is a dog and his name is perter,today he is 2 years old,in my 12years old My parents bought he,I am 14years old.He is very beautiful and smart,he can play the ball and play dance.Everybody to say:look!The dog is very smart.But sometimes he is trouble,he gets the sofa and he eats food every morning.However,I think I can always play with he.He is my good friends!

Corrected essay:
Hello everyone, my name is Alice. That is my favorite gift. He is a dog and his name is Peter. Today he is 2 years old. When I was 12 years old, my parents bought him for me. Now, I am 14 years old. He is very beautiful and smart. He can play with the ball and dance. Everybody says, "Look! The dog is very smart." But sometimes he causes trouble. He gets on the sofa and he eats food every morning. However, I think I can always play with him. He is my good friend!