Writing prompt: Wisdom can Create Miracles

Student essay:
There's many valuable things in our life .Money,wisdom,truth,power and beauty are all very useful and attractive.But as my perspective,with no doubt that wisdom is the most important thing among them.
First,there must be a number of people say that money can buy everything they want,so money is
absolutely the most important ,or others think truth ,power and beauty is the first choice.Now,let me tell you the fact.If you have no money,you can earn it by wisdom;if you are confused in life,you can overcome it by your wisdom but not abstract truth;if you desire power,wisdom can help gain it;if you admire beauty,wisdom makes you beautiful not only apperance but also inner.
Second,why wisdom is more powerful?The reason it what?How it works?Take city construction as an example,large amount of money is necessary,but how to make full use of it without wasting needs big wisdom.Properly distributing and bravely investing are thanks to wisdom.In the 21th century,such magnificent wonders as The Oriental Pearl TV Tower are built to decorate our wonderful city,which are all thanks to wisdom.
In the final,wisdom exists in our mind.Human is the highest level in animals and have the highest intelligence.If we stimulate our wisdom at the bottom of our heart,one by one miracles will be created in the near future!

Corrected essay:
There are many valuable things in our life. Money, wisdom, truth, power and beauty are all very useful and attractive. But from my perspective, without a doubt, wisdom is the most important thing among them.
First, there must be a number of people who say that money can buy everything they want, so money is absolutely the most important, or others think truth, power and beauty are the first choices. Now, let me tell you the facts. If you have no money, you can earn it by wisdom; if you are confused in life, you can overcome it with your wisdom but not abstract truth; if you desire power, wisdom can help you gain it; if you admire beauty, wisdom makes you beautiful not only in appearance but also inner beauty.
Second, why is wisdom more powerful? What is the reason? How does it work? Take city construction as an example. A large amount of money is necessary, but how to make full use of it without wasting it needs big wisdom. Properly distributing and bravely investing are thanks to wisdom. In the 21st century, such magnificent wonders as The Oriental Pearl TV Tower are built to decorate our wonderful city, which is all thanks to wisdom. Finally, wisdom exists in our minds. Humans are the highest level of animals and have the highest intelligence. If we stimulate our wisdom at the bottom of our hearts, one by one miracles will be created in the near future!