Writing prompt: My First Trip

Student essay:
Three years ago,I went to Tibet in summer with my parents and my younger sister.It's my first experience of travel and it is really exciting ang amazing.
We spent two days on the way by train.It was a long journey but it's not bored.We can saw a kind of beautiful scenery from the windows.
My first impression of Tibet was that sky is very blue and air is fresh.When I arrived,Ihad a little headache and so unfortable that I even can't breath at first day.Then we visited many places of scenic spot,especially the Namtso Lake.The beauty of Namtso made me unforgettable.
In Tibet,I atelots of foods and I think the most delicious food is the snack of Tibet.Just like yak mest,barley liquor and buttered tea.
There are three years has passed since then,but I can remember all things about that travel.

Corrected essay:
Three years ago, I went to Tibet in summer with my parents and my younger sister. It was my first experience of travel and it was really exciting and amazing.
We spent two days on the way by train. It was a long journey but it was not boring. We could see beautiful scenery from the windows.
My first impression of Tibet was that the sky was very blue and the air was fresh. When I arrived, I had a little headache and felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't even breathe on the first day. Then we visited many scenic spots, especially the Namtso Lake. The beauty of Namtso made it unforgettable for me.
In Tibet, I ate lots of food and I think the most delicious food is the snacks of Tibet, such as yak meat, barley liquor and buttered tea.
Three years have passed since then, but I can remember everything about that trip.