Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Thing during Winter Holiday

Student essay:
This winter holiday, I took part in the social studying in my class. We gave out leaflets in the street.
It was very cold, but the sun was still shining brightly. We stood in the street near the school, waiting for our first "customer". The leaflets we gave out were about convenient parking.
"Attach this leaflet to your car. Then if your car is on others' way, they can use these numbers on it to call you." This explanation may be very simple, however, when you told over fifty people about that, the situation became quite different.
The passers-by were not the same at all. Some of them gave us chance to show them our leaflets. But some were a little bit cold. But never mind, we just searched for another "customer".
After nearly two hours hard work, we gave out all the leaflets. Tired but happy, we finished this unforgettable experience.

Corrected essay:
This winter holiday, I took part in the social study in my class. We gave out leaflets in the street.
It was very cold, but the sun was still shining brightly. We stood in the street near the school, waiting for our first "customer." The leaflets we gave out were about convenient parking.
"Attach this leaflet to your car. Then if your car is in others' way, they can use these numbers on it to call you." This explanation may be very simple. However, when you told over fifty people about that, the situation became quite different.
The passers-by were not the same at all. Some of them gave us a chance to show them our leaflets, but some were a little bit cold. But never mind, we just searched for another "customer."
After nearly two hours of hard work, we gave out all the leaflets. Tired but happy, we finished this unforgettable experience.