Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Thing during Winter Holiday

Student essay:
I went to Hawaii for holiday this winter vacation.It takes a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on plane.Suddenly,I remembered that I had downloaded a book to my iPad.I took it out and began to read.While I was reading,I found that the man on my left was getting closer and closer to me.I didn't say a word at first.But a few minutes later,it was more than I could bear.I said angrily to him,"hey,what are you doing?Please don't sit so close to me."He looked very sad,and he said,"sorry,but your book is so interesting,I just want to read it.You know,I was so boring."

Corrected essay:
I went to Hawaii for a holiday this winter vacation. It took a long time to get there by plane and I had nothing to do during the 8 hours on the plane. Suddenly, I remembered that I had downloaded a book to my iPad. I took it out and began to read. While I was reading, I found that the man on my left was getting closer and closer to me. I didn't say a word at first. But a few minutes later, it was more than I could bear. I said angrily to him, "Hey, what are you doing? Please don't sit so close to me." He looked very sad, and he said, "Sorry, but your book is so interesting. I just wanted to read it. You know, I was so bored."