Writing prompt: A Diary about Sports Meeting

Student essay:
Friday,October 12th,2012 Sunny
Today is the last sports meeting in our three years' high school life.
I signed up for the 800-meter long distance run,which was demanding.A case in point was that I failed to pass it last semester.Nevertheless,I hold the firm belief that I could accomplish it.
All the participants set out with the gun went.I've never felt that the time past so slowly.I was not a little exhausted after half of the distance.I was taken over by other participants one after another.So tired I was that I wanted to give up.
Finally,I came up to their exceptions that I stuck to the finishing line.I didn't get any ranking.On the contrary,I realized what matters is the process,not the consequence.How I wished time hadn't passed so quickly!

Corrected essay:
Friday, October 12th, 2012 Sunny
Today is the last sports meeting in our three years' high school life.
I signed up for the 800-meter long-distance run, which was demanding. A case in point was that I failed to pass it last semester. Nevertheless, I held the firm belief that I could accomplish it.
All the participants set out when the gun went off. I've never felt that the time passed so slowly. I was a little exhausted after half of the distance. I was overtaken by other participants one after another. So tired was I that I wanted to give up.
Finally, I came up to their expectations as I stuck to the finishing line. I didn't get any ranking. On the contrary, I realized what matters is the process, not the consequence. How I wished time hadn't passed so quickly!