Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it. Some of my classments think get online is good for us,because we can get information from the internet ,and we can also broaden our horizons by internet.We can also commulate with our classmates and share information by internet.As well,we canalso relax ourselves online.
But there are also many students think highschool students should not get online frequently because watching the computer for a long time is bad for eyes,and falling in chating and computer games is bad for our study.We may wast time and energy online.

Corrected essay:
Recently I've carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it. Some of my classmates think getting online is good for us, because we can get information from the Internet, and we can also broaden our horizons through the Internet. We can also communicate with our classmates and share information on the Internet. As well, we can also relax online.
But there are also many students who think high school students should not get online frequently because watching the computer for a long time is bad for our eyes, and falling into chatting and computer games is bad for our study. We may waste time and energy online.