Writing prompt: School Studying Is More Important

Student essay:
I think school study is more important.
First,it is universally acknowledged that,teachers are useful to our study.Teachers can interpret exactly for our questions.So,my personal view is that it's important to have a teacher.
Second,in my opinion,working together as a class is useful.When we have questions,we can ask for pupils.We can also help others.It is a good way to improve our grade.
Third,it's a bad for us t o use computers for a long time.So,as far as I can see,we shouldn't spend much time in looking at computers.
In the word,school study is more important for us.

Corrected essay:
I think school study is more important.
First, it is universally acknowledged that teachers are useful to our study. Teachers can interpret exactly for our questions. So, my personal view is that it's important to have a teacher.
Second, in my opinion, working together as a class is useful. When we have questions, we can ask pupils. We can also help others. It is a good way to improve our grades.
Third, it's bad for us to use computers for a long time. So, as far as I can see, we shouldn't spend much time in looking at computers.
In a word, school study is more important for us.