Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Some of my classmates hold a quite supportive attitude toward students getting online frequently .The reasons are as follows:firstly ,we can not only have access to knowledge but also broaden our horizons through getting online. furthermore,we can exchange ideas with our friends. What's more the Internet provide a great number of entertainment which make us relax ourselves.
But every coin has two sides,the other students objected to them.They told us getting online freguently dose harm to our seesight. Besides,it took us a large amount of valuable time and energy.What's worse,we may couldn't help to indulging in computergames or chatting with others.
In the end,I'd like to share some of my opinions with you. I think,we should consider the computer to be an important tool.It is necessary for us to make every effort to form a good habit of keeping the balance between learning and the Internet. If everyone of us have good self-controling the Internet will become a close friend of us.

Corrected essay:
Some of my classmates hold a quite supportive attitude toward students getting online frequently. The reasons are as follows: firstly, we can not only have access to knowledge but also broaden our horizons through getting online. Furthermore, we can exchange ideas with our friends. What's more, the Internet provides a great number of entertainment options which make us relax.
But every coin has two sides. The other students object to this. They told us getting online frequently does harm to our eyesight. Besides, it takes us a large amount of valuable time and energy. What's worse, we probably can't help indulging in computer games or chatting with others.
In the end, I'd like to share some of my opinions with you. I think we should consider the computer to be an important tool. It is necessary for us to make every effort to form a good habit of keeping the balance between learning and the Internet. If every one of us has good self-control, the Internet will become a close friend of us.