Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Somebody think students should get online.The reasons are as follows.First,students can get knowledge and broaden our minds online,so we will spend more time on study.We also communicate with our friends and share our knowledge with them.It is good for our study.What is more,students sometimes amuse themselves.As a result,their conclusion is:the Internet is good for students.
The reasons are forceful,but different people have different opiniions.The others think students should not get online.First,they think the working screen is harmful to students' syes.Besides,many students lose themselves in chatting and computer games.It waste their time and mind.They think students won't work hard with getting online.
In my opinion,students should use the Internet in a right way.Students should study hard on the Internet and avoid losing themselves online.students can relaxthemselves,too.

Corrected essay:
Some people think students should get online. The reasons are as follows. First, students can get knowledge and broaden their minds online, so they will spend more time on study. They can also communicate with their friends and share knowledge with them. It is good for their study. What is more, students sometimes amuse themselves. As a result, their conclusion is: the Internet is good for students.
The reasons are forceful, but different people have different opinions. Others think students should not get online. First, they think the working screen is harmful to students' eyes. Besides, many students lose themselves in chatting and computer games. It wastes their time and energy. They think students won't work hard when getting online.
In my opinion, students should use the Internet in the right way. Students should study hard on the Internet and avoid losing themselves online. Students can relax themselves, too.