Writing prompt: Lucy's Journey

Student essay:
Lucy comes from American,she lives in New York,she have been to Beijing for a journey by plane,and she arrived at 4pm. in November 3th.
She lived in a five-star hotel,and she visited many places of historic interests and scenics beauty.Such as Tian'anmen Square,The Great Hall of the People,The Forbidden City and The Temple of Heaven .
After 4 days,she went back to Americ.She has a good journey.

Corrected essay:
Lucy comes from America, and she lives in New York. She went to Beijing for a journey by plane, and she arrived at 4 p.m. on November 3rd.
She lived in a five-star hotel, and she visited many places of historic interest and scenic beauty, such as Tian'anmen Square, The Great Hall of the People, The Forbidden City and The Temple of Heaven.
After 4 days, she went back to America. She had a good journey.