Writing prompt: To Save Energy Started from Me

Student essay:
Good morning, everyone: My topic today is how to live a low-carbon life. As far as we know, carbon emissions could cause a lot of problems, such as global warming and climate changing irregular. What impressed me most is that Maldives will be submerged.
My thought is that we ought to lead a low-carbon life. In other words, why not change our traditional lifestyle to enjoy the low-carbon life? Actually, we could save water which can reuse. We can also turn off the electrical equipment that is not necessary. On the other hand, we should use the public transport. Why don't we go to school by bus or subway? It's cheap and fast! It's true that we could save energy and fuel to protect our homeland. Ultimately, improving our awareness is the most significant thing we should do. Doing in every tiny thing is enough.
It is obvious that living a low-carbon life is an obligation of each person in the world. Only if we do what we should do and we can make a difference in a low-carbon life.

Corrected essay:
Good morning, everyone: My topic today is how to live a low-carbon life. As far as we know, carbon emissions could cause a lot of problems, such as global warming and irregular climate change. What impresses me most is that the Maldives will be submerged.
My thought is that we ought to lead a low-carbon life. In other words, why not change our traditional lifestyle to enjoy a low-carbon life? Actually, we could save water which can be reused. We can also turn off the electrical equipment that is not necessary. On the other hand, we should use public transport. Why don't we go to school by bus or subway? It's cheap and fast! It's true that we could save energy and fuel to protect our homeland. Ultimately, improving our awareness is the most significant thing we should do. Doing every tiny thing is enough.
It is obvious that living a low-carbon life is an obligation of each person in the world. Only if we do what we should do can we make a difference in a low-carbon life.