Writing prompt: My Hero

Student essay:
My name is X. I come from Beijing. My hero is my father. He was born in 1951. He is kind and helpful.
My dad is a railway man. However,he loves to rest on the hammock and just do nothing. At the weekend he spends lots of time with me. He will do anything for me. He encourages me up when I am sad.What ever he does,he never gives up.I live my dad so much. He always can help me with my homework every day until I understand,so he is my hero.
I think my father is my hero. Sometime he is strict with me,and has a talk with me. I like my dad very well.

Corrected essay:
My name is X. I come from Beijing. My hero is my father. He was born in 1951. He is kind and helpful.
My dad is a railway man. However, he loves to rest on the hammock and just do nothing. At the weekend he spends lots of time with me. He will do anything for me. He encourages me when I am sad. Whatever he does, he never gives up. I love my dad so much. He always helps me with my homework every day until I understand, so he is my hero.
I think my father is my hero. Sometimes he is strict with me, and has a talk with me. I like my dad very much.