Writing prompt: When I Have a Different Opinion

Student essay:
In organizing class activities,we may have different opinions.Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority,I consider it is necessary that put forward different views when I am covinced that is better than others.
In modern society, sometimes it is not what most people think is right. The truth is often in the hands of a few people. When we can think out of others, we should be bold and try to convince you that this view tends to make it more perfect.
Once we were discussing where to go for an outing. Most of my classmates wanted to go to a park while I had an idea of going to a nicer place. I managed to persuade my classmates into accepting my idea. We did have a good time that day . Good opinions are worth sticking to because they can benefit us all.

Corrected essay:
In organizing class activities, we may have different opinions. Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority, I consider it is necessary to put forward different views when I am convinced that they are better than others.
In modern society, sometimes it is not what most people think is right. The truth is often in the hands of a few people. When we can think out of the box, we should be bold and try to convince others that this view tends to make things more perfect.
Once we were discussing where to go for an outing. Most of my classmates wanted to go to a park while I had an idea of going to a nicer place. I managed to persuade my classmates into accepting my idea. We did have a good time that day. Good opinions are worth sticking to because they can benefit us all.