Writing prompt: My Dream

Student essay:
Everyone has his own dreams. Me too.
My fist dream is to have an intelligent mobile telephone. I have such a dream because I have no intelligent mobile telephone. My parents think it can affect study. I know it is not very good for me but I think it is interesting so I want to have it.
My second dream is to grow up and want to be a manager. I think this job is very bearing. I like to wear the work-clothes and hight-heelep shoes in the office. I like to enjoy life in the busy. So I must put great effort into my studies.
They are my dreams. As the saying goes:"Will's stand long will, is without will's and grow set his heart on." I can be a winner, for hope in vain but struggle!

Corrected essay:
Everyone has his own dreams. Me too.
My first dream is to have an intelligent mobile telephone. I have such a dream because I have no intelligent mobile telephone. My parents think it can affect my studies. I know it is not very good for me but I think it is interesting, so I want to have it. My second dream is to grow up and become a manager. I think this job is very appealing. I like to wear work clothes and high-heeled shoes in the office. I like to enjoy life while being busy. So I must put great effort into my studies.
They are my dreams. As the saying goes, "Where there is a will, there is a way." I can be a winner, not by hoping in vain but by struggling!