Writing prompt: Keep Safe at School

Student essay:
As more and more people are entering a college,the security of the campus becomes very important. Do you want to know how to keep safe at the school? Now,let me tell you about this.
We study together and play games together in the school every day,everyone is happy. But if someone hurts,it will be so bad! First,warm up before you do sport,if you don't do that,it's easy to get hurt. Second,don't run in the corridor,because it's easy to hurt yourself or others. Third,don't jump the queue at anytime,although very few people,otherwise it will cause unnecessary quarrels,and even fights! Please remember:You can't argue with anyone!
I think campus security is very important. Please keep safe at the school!

Corrected essay:
As more and more people enter college, the security of the campus becomes very important. Do you want to know how to keep safe at school? Now, let me tell you about this.
We study together and play games together in school every day. Everyone is happy. But if someone gets hurt, it will be so bad! First, warm up before you do sport. If you don't do that, it's easy to get hurt. Second, don't run in the corridor, because it's easy to hurt yourself or others. Third, don't jump the queue at any time, even if there are very few people. Otherwise, it will cause unnecessary quarrels and even fights! Please remember: You can't argue with anyone!
I think campus security is very important. Please keep safe at school!