Writing prompt: Should We Keep Animals in Zoos?

Student essay:
This week, we held a talk show on our English class. We discussed a question which is about 'Should we keep animals in zoos?'
About 40% students in my class agreed to keep animals in zoos. Firstly, people can watch many different kinds of animals in zoos. What's more, animals can be taken good care by zoo keepers.
However, 60% students thought we should not keep animals in zoos. First,animals would like to live in the wild that more than in zoos. Last but not least, animals will be closed that they can not get freedom.
I think animals which are endangered should be kept in zoos. Many people will kill them for something from their bodies. Maybe they will much safer when they are in zoos. We must protect the endangered animals or we can not see them any more.

Corrected essay:
This week, we held a talk show in our English class. We discussed a question which is about 'Should we keep animals in zoos?'
About 40% of students in my class agreed to keep animals in zoos. Firstly, people can watch many different kinds of animals in zoos. What's more, animals can be taken good care of by zoo keepers.
However, 60% of students thought we should not keep animals in zoos. First, animals would like to live in the wild more than in zoos. Last but not least, animals will be confined and they can not get freedom.
I think animals which are endangered should be kept in zoos. Many people will kill them for something from their bodies. Maybe they will be much safer when they are in zoos. We must protect the endangered animals or we can not see them anymore.