Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I have carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of them who had a positive attitude to the Interent said we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds.What's more,the Internet makes ti possible for us to communicate woth each other whenever and wherever.And we share our ideas and photos freely.We are able to surf the Internet in order to relax ourselves when we are exhausted.
In others opinion ,going online frequenly has many disadvantages.The reasons are follow.When we go online ,we sit too close to the screen and it's bad for our eyesight.Some students even be hooked on computer games and chatting.It makes difference to their study and dailylife.
In my view,the Internet has both positive and negative influence on us.What we should do is using the Internet in a right way and let ie be our teacher and friend.

Corrected essay:
Recently, I have carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of them who have a positive attitude toward the Internet say we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds. What's more, the Internet makes it possible for us to communicate with each other whenever and wherever. And we share our ideas and photos freely. We are able to surf the Internet in order to relax ourselves when we are exhausted.
In others' opinion, going online frequently has many disadvantages. The reasons are as follows. When we go online, we sit too close to the screen and it's bad for our eyesight. Some students even get hooked on computer games and chatting. It makes a difference to their study and daily life.
In my view, the Internet has both positive and negative influences on us. What we should do is using the Internet in a right way and let it be our teacher and friend.