Writing prompt: The Early Bird Catches the Worm

Student essay:
Every one want to be triumphant,but only a few of them can make a great prosperity.Why? Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.So of the greatest importance is your diligence.
When I was a middle school student,my study was so terrible that nobody intended to make friends with me.I was excessively lazy about the study.Then Mr Li who was my class teacher told me that the Senior Entrance Exam was critical to my success and if I was diligent ,the alternative were that I would do well.
Since then I got rid of the bad habit and learning more conscientious.From then on I was always wrapped in books,neglecting sleep and meals.Under the circumstances,I cannot learning unduly much.Because of this ,I was allowed to a vital school.
Lastly, I tend to tell you that if you are assiduous ,whatever you intend to do will be triumphant.

Corrected essay:
Everyone wants to be triumphant, but only a few of them can make great prosperity. Why? Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. So, of the greatest importance is your diligence.
When I was a middle school student, my study was so terrible that nobody intended to make friends with me. I was excessively lazy about the study. Then Mr. Li, who was my class teacher, told me that the Senior High School Entrance Exam was critical to my success and that if I was diligent, I would do well.
Since then, I got rid of the bad habit and learned more conscientiously. From then on, I was always engrossed in books, neglecting sleep and meals. Under the circumstances, I could not learn much more. Because of this, I was admitted to a vital school.
Lastly, I tend to tell you that if you are assiduous, whatever you intend to do will be triumphant.