Writing prompt: Post 90's Generation

Student essay:
At these time,I have just read an article about teenagers. Today,I want to discuss this problem with you.
There are some advantages on them. Almost all of them are so curious that everything wants to be known. At this time,they start to depend on themselves. They want to be in dependence instead of acting a little child around their parents. The most different is that they have many new opinions,even these opinions can't be understood by adults.
On the other hand,they also have some disadvantages. For example,they want to have someone prepared everything for them. Sometimes they only care about themselves,and they can't understand others' opinions. They also want to relax themselves all the time and live in a comfortable life without working hard.
In my opinion,I think they deserve a praise for their minds which are really valuable. At the same time,I also want to criticize them from being supposed to only care about themselves and relax themselves all the time instead of working hard.

Corrected essay:
Recently, I have just read an article about teenagers. Today, I want to discuss this problem with you.
There are some advantages to them. Almost all of them are so curious that they want to know everything. At this time, they start to depend on themselves. They want to be independent instead of acting like a little child around their parents. The most different is that they have many new opinions, but these opinions can't be understood by adults.
On the other hand, they also have some disadvantages. For example, they want to have someone prepare everything for them. Sometimes they only care about themselves, and they can't understand others' opinions. They also want to relax all the time and live a comfortable life without working hard.
In my opinion, I think they deserve praise for their minds which are really valuable. At the same time, I also want to criticize them for being supposed to only care about themselves and relax all the time instead of working hard.