Writing prompt: Sweeping Snow

Student essay:
It was snowing. I thought the view was beautiful. So I want to go out to see it and I wanted to take some photos.
When I saw the beautiful view I was so happy. I thought I should go outside to take photo to keep the view. When I went outside. I saw a boy fall down. So I thought the road was so slippy. I should walk carefully. I went to help him. He thanks for me. I decided to clean the road so that people didn't fall down. I went home and I took a boom. Then I can sweep the road.
When I swept the road I saw my neighbors they praised me. I was happy and I was glad to help people.

Corrected essay:
It was snowing. I thought the view was beautiful. So I wanted to go out to see it and wanted to take some photos.
When I saw the beautiful view, I was so happy. I thought I should go outside to take photos to keep the view. When I went outside, I saw a boy fall down. So I thought the road was so slippery. I should walk carefully. I went to help him. He thanked me. I decided to clean the road so that people wouldn't fall down. I went home and took a broom. Then I swept the road.
When I swept the road, I saw my neighbors and they praised me. I was happy and I was glad to help people.