Writing prompt: After-School Activities

Student essay:
Nowadays,after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.
After-school activities do not occupy students' too much time. In fact, it is unhealthy for them to spend all of time on their study. As an old saying goes: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.so in my opinion,after-school activities is very important.From the activities, we can learn many valuable things that we won't learn in classrooms

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, after-school activities are becoming more and more popular in high schools.
After-school activities do not occupy too much time of students. In fact, it is unhealthy for them to spend all of the time on their study. As an old saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. So in my opinion, after-school activities are very important. From the activities, we can learn many valuable things that we won't learn in classrooms.