Writing prompt: Host Family

Student essay:
Dear Mr.Smith,
I'm L,a middle school student from China and I'm study in London now.I'm writing this letter to tell you I want to live in a host family.
My suggestions are as follows.Firstly,the hoster of the house must be enthusiastic and he can speak English fluently,so it's easy for me to communicate with him.Secondly,I hope the hoster can offer me to free wash my clothes and I can cook by myself.Finally,it's better that my host family is in the center of the city and it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school.I believe I can get along well with other people in the host family.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
yours,
L

Corrected essay:
Dear Mr. Smith,
I'm L, a middle school student from China and I'm studying in London now. I'm writing this letter to tell you I want to live in a host family.
My suggestions are as follows. Firstly, the host of the house must be enthusiastic and he can speak English fluently, so it's easy for me to communicate with him. Secondly, I hope the host can allow me to wash my clothes for free and I can cook by myself. Finally, it's better if my host family is in the center of the city so it's convenient for me to take the subway to my school. I believe I can get along well with other people in the host family.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
L