Writing prompt: A Trip to Mount Yunmen

Student essay:
Last week my parents with me went to Mount Yunmen. Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou City Shandong Province. We arrived early morning when it was sunny I looked at the sky that it was very blue,and the air was very fresh. The sun rose behind me and it shone on the rocks. There were many kinds of trees and birds. I felt the many trees look like giant, because the trees were very tall and big. I thaught that the birds were nature's singers,because the birds' voice sounded like that they were singing.
Mount Yunmen had a very big word and Mount Yunmen was famous for it. It was "Shou"word. It was about 7.5 metres high and it was about 3.7 metres wide. The "Shou"word was huge!
We in order to remain the scenery that we have a picnic and take a photo. I asked myself,"Is the Mount Yunmen the greatest wonder of the natural world?" I certainly know the answer. I think that Mount Yunmen is the greatest wonder of the natural world.

Corrected essay:
Last week, my parents and I went to Mount Yunmen. Mount Yunmen is in Qingzhou City, Shandong Province. We arrived early in the morning when it was sunny. I looked at the sky. It was very blue, and the air was very fresh. The sun rose behind me and it shone on the rocks. There were many kinds of trees and birds. I felt the many trees looked like giants, because the trees were very tall and big. I thought that the birds were nature's singers because the birds' voices sounded like they were singing.
Mount Yunmen had a very big word and Mount Yunmen was famous for it. It was the "Shou" word. It was about 7.5 metres high and about 3.7 metres wide. The "Shou" word was huge!
In order to remember the scenery, we had a picnic and took a photo. I asked myself, "Is Mount Yunmen the greatest wonder of the natural world?" I certainly knew the answer. I think that Mount Yunmen is the greatest wonder of the natural world.