Writing prompt: My Summer Holiday

Student essay:
Summer holiday is the longest holiday in a year.I climbed many mountains during the summer.One of the best experience was climbing the Great Wall.The Great Wall was bulit many years ago.Our ancestors built it to defended the enemies.Many young people died because of building it.we often say that the man who didn't climbed the mountain isn't a hero.So it is very tiring for me to climb the Great Wall.The day was very hot when I arrived at there.I was so tired that I felt I couldn't take a breath when I climbed it.But I persisted in it.Finally,I reached the top of mountain.I was glad that the sightseeing in the mountain is so beautiful.I saw the trees,flowers,birds and so on.There are even a river on the mountain.I took many photos.I learned that we should try our best to do everything.Nothing is impossible.We all can do it.

Corrected essay:
Summer holiday is the longest holiday in a year. I climbed many mountains during the summer. One of the best experiences was climbing the Great Wall. The Great Wall was built many years ago. Our ancestors built it to defend the enemies. Many young people died because of building it. We often say that the man who doesn't climb the mountain isn't a hero. So it was very tiring for me to climb the Great Wall. The day was very hot when I arrived there. I was so tired that I felt I couldn't take a breath when I climbed it. But I persisted in it. Finally, I reached the top of the mountain. I was glad that the sightseeing on the mountain was so beautiful. I saw the trees, flowers, birds and so on. There was even a river on the mountain. I took many photos. I learned that we should try our best to do everything. Nothing is impossible. We all can do it.