Writing prompt: Ban Smoking in Public Places

Student essay:
Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public place,it will start from 2010 January 1st in order to prevent people from smoking in all public place.And government decide to show some signs about banning smoking to avoid people smoking. Figure shows that about 350 million people smokes and most of them are man,about 540 million people are effected by second-hand smoke ,even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.

Corrected essay:
The Chinese government has decided to ban smoking in public places. It will start from January 1st, 2010 in order to prevent people from smoking in all public places. And the government has decided to show some signs of banning smoking to prevent people from smoking. Figures show that about 350 million people smoke and most of them are men. About 540 million people are affected by second-hand smoke, and even 10 thousand people in them will die every year.