Writing prompt: My Weekend

Student essay:
Dear Lucy,
I'm L.I plan to accompany old people in the Double Ninth Festival with classmates,at weekends.We prepared many wonderful exercises the old people like.If we were to sing and song, they would happy.And in the afternoon,we will make dumpling for old people.In conclusion,that's the first time that we have gone to the nursing house.So I want to invite you to join us,as give us better guide. would you like?Time on Saturday,8:00am to 4:00pm.Looking forward to your reply.
Yours, L

Corrected essay:
Dear Lucy,
I'm L. I plan to accompany old people in the Double Ninth Festival with my classmates at the weekend. We have prepared many wonderful activities the old people like. If we sing a song, they will be happy. And in the afternoon, we will make dumplings for the old people. In conclusion, this is the first time that we are going to the nursing house. So I want to invite you to join us and give us better guidance. Would you like to come? The time is Saturday, from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. Looking forward to your reply.
Yours, L