Writing prompt: Sharing

Student essay:
Sharing something with others is a good way to show your kindness. I have a sharing experience.
Last month, my friends and I went to Happy Valley to play. The time passed quickly. It was the time for lunch. We felt hungry. So we went to KFC. However, the food was too expensive for us to buy too much. So I gave them some of my food and they gave me some food as well. It was so delicious! We ate and talked happily. I was extremely happy, and I thought sharing is good for us.
I think everyone shouldn't be so selfish, and we ought to share something with others.

Corrected essay:
Sharing something with others is a good way to show your kindness. I had a sharing experience.
Last month, my friends and I went to Happy Valley to play. The time passed quickly. It was the time for lunch. We felt hungry, so we went to KFC. However, the food was too expensive for us to buy too much. So I gave them some of my food and they gave me some food as well. It was so delicious! We ate and talked happily. I was extremely happy, and I thought sharing was good for us.
I think everyone shouldn't be so selfish, and we ought to share something with others.