Writing prompt: Sharing

Student essay:
It's crucial for teenagers to always share your own things with your friends. Participate is a way to communicate with others. I also have lots of experience of sharing.
Once a time, my parents bought some chocolates for me. They were so delicious. And my parents asked me to share them with my friends. But, at first, I didn't do it because I thought that they just belonged to me and I didn't want to share. However, my mom told me something and I had to share chocolates with my friends. After that, my friends and I enjoyed them together and shared some happy things that in our life with each other. Suddenly, I realized that sharing is a really good thing. I can not only get happiness but also give happiness to others when I share something with people. From then on, I always share my own things with other people.
Everyone should learn to share something with other people around you

Corrected essay:
It's crucial for teenagers to always share their own things with their friends. Participating is a way to communicate with others. I also have lots of experience of sharing.
Once a time, my parents bought some chocolates for me. They were so delicious. And my parents asked me to share them with my friends. But, at first, I didn't do it because I thought that they just belonged to me and I didn't want to share. However, my mom told me something and I had to share the chocolates with my friends. After that, my friends and I enjoyed them together and shared some happy things in our lives with each other. Suddenly, I realized that sharing is a really good thing. I can not only get happiness but also give happiness to others when I share something with people. From then on, I always share my own things with other people.
Everyone should learn to share something with other people around them.