Writing prompt: Who Do You Turn to When in Trouble?

Student essay:
Dear editor,
last month,a survey about"Who do you turn to when in trouble"was conducted in our school.
As can be seen from the table, about 68% students will turn to their classmates and friends when in trouble.They think they are at the same,so they can easily understand and communicate with each other.About 20% students will turn to their teachers and parents. They consider that they are kind and experienced.They can be belief.However,12% students have no body to turn to.They do not like to talk to others.They are hard to communicate with others.
Personally,we can turn to our teachers and parents if they can understand and help us.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

Corrected essay:
Dear editor,
Last month, a survey about "Who do you turn to when in trouble" was conducted in our school.
As can be seen from the table, about 68% of students will turn to their classmates and friends when in trouble. They think they are the same, so they can easily understand and communicate with each other. About 20% of students will turn to their teachers and parents. They consider that they are kind and experienced. They can be trusted. However, 12% of students have nobody to turn to. They do not like to talk to others. They find it hard to communicate with others.
Personally, we can turn to our teachers and parents if they can understand and help us.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming