Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Experience in My Summer Vacation

Student essay:
I had a personal experience at home, it made my life unforgettable, but also a rare experience of my life.
My parents are always worried about me, they don't let me watch TV,don't let me eat snacks, sometime I even hope he can put me a person in the home.
One time, my parents went out, I was a man at home, on one to take care of me, I felt very happy, after shool to go home. I put my bag on the sofa, and then began to play computer, play to the very late and I went to shool hugry stomach, I will go home hungry stomach, I will go home at night will not cook,can only hungry belly.
This experience made me understand that I can't be too dependent on my parents.

Corrected essay:
I had a personal experience at home. It made my life unforgettable and was also a rare experience in my life.
My parents are always worried about me. They don't let me watch TV or eat snacks. Sometimes, I even hope they can leave me alone at home.
One time, my parents went out, and I was alone at home with no one to take care of me. I felt very happy after school when I went home. I put my bag on the sofa, and then began to play on the computer. I played until very late and I went to school with a hungry stomach. At night, I went home but couldn't cook, so I could only stay hungry.
This experience made me understand that I can't be too dependent on my parents.