Writing prompt: Love around Me

Student essay:
I feel so lucky that there are a lot of love around me.l think i am the happiest person in the world.My father who works as a worker in company where lives far away Shanghai .He often shows his love to me.Although he goes home twice a month,he always make phone calls to me.When l doesn't work well,he encourages me instead of scolding me.At that time,l feel i am the happiest person in the world.Afterwards,we should help others who is in trouble.Forexample,when our classmates can't work out a mathes problem,we should try our best to help them.
In one word,the more love we have ,the happier we will be!!!

Corrected essay:
I feel so lucky that there is a lot of love around me. I think I am the happiest person in the world. My father who works as a worker in a company far away from Shanghai, often shows his love to me. Although he goes home twice a month, he always makes phone calls to me. When I don't work well, he encourages me instead of scolding me. At that time, I feel I am the happiest person in the world. Afterwards, we should help others who are in trouble. For example, when our classmates can't work out a math problem, we should try our best to help them.
In one word, the more love we have, the happier we will be!