Writing prompt: We Are What We Read

Student essay:
As is known to all,reading is a very important way in our studies.For example,whenever we study English,we pay more attention to this.
There are many advantages in extensive reading.To begin with,reading give us new horizons.We can travel around the world by reading.Moreover,it can help us improve oral language abilities.Reading more, we will know more.
On the other hand,the first-hand is important,too.However,it has many differences compared with reading.That is to say,by our own actions,explore the things,people,scenery and so on.
In conclusion,both read and action are essential.It's necessary to combine reading with action.We will learn better.

Corrected essay:
As is known to all, reading is a very important way in our studies. For example, whenever we study English, we pay more attention to this.
There are many advantages in extensive reading. To begin with, reading gives us new horizons. We can travel around the world by reading. Moreover, it can help us improve oral language abilities. By reading more, we will know more.
On the other hand, first-hand experience is important, too. However, it has many differences compared with reading. That is to say, by our own actions, we explore things, people, scenery and so on.
In conclusion, both reading and action are essential. It's necessary to combine reading with action. We will learn better.