Writing prompt: Make Use of iPad

Student essay:
Dear Editor,
I'm a senior high school student named Li Hua.
Nowadays, iPad has become an absolutely popular tool in our life and it has become a great help to almost all of us.Generally, it's advantages can be seen as follows.First of all, by using iPad, not only can we listen to music but also read text books.Besides, we can play games.
But every coin has two sides.The negative aspects are also appear.One of the disadvantages is that it will waste a lot of valuable time.And it will also influence our studies.To make matter worse, it will do harm to our eyes.
As far as I am concerned, iPad will do us students both good and harm.What matters most is how we make use of it.

Corrected essay:
Dear Editor,
I'm a senior high school student named Li Hua.
Nowadays, iPad has become an absolutely popular tool in our life and it has become a great help to almost all of us. Generally, its advantages can be seen as follows. First of all, by using iPad, not only can we listen to music but also read textbooks. Besides, we can play games.
But every coin has two sides. The negative aspects also appear. One of the disadvantages is that it will waste a lot of valuable time. And it will also influence our studies. To make the matters worse, it will do harm to our eyes.
As far as I am concerned, iPad will do us students both good and harm. What matters most is how we make use of it.