Writing prompt: Moving House

Student essay:
Dear Frank,
Hello, I am L. This Friday afternoon my parents and me are going to move our house. As you know, moving is not a easy work, and I am afraid that I can't do the chores by myself, so I need your help. I really hope you can come and help me out with these chores.
I have made a plan. First, you can come to my house at noon, we can sweep the floor, clean up the living room, and take out the rubbish. After that, we need to move the furnitures together. It might be a bit tired, but I think we will be happy because of each other. In the end, I'd like to invite you to go shopping with me, I want to buy some new clothes. You can also buy something that you are interested.
I will be happy if you can come.
Best wishes,L

Corrected essay:
Dear Frank,
Hello, I am L. This Friday afternoon my parents and I are going to move our house. As you know, moving is not an easy task, and I am afraid that I can't do the chores by myself, so I need your help. I really hope you can come and help me out with these chores.
I have made a plan. First, you can come to my house at noon. We can sweep the floor, clean up the living room, and take out the rubbish. After that, we need to move the furniture together. It might be a bit tiring, but I think we will be happy because of each other. In the end, I'd like to invite you to go shopping with me. I want to buy some new clothes. You can also buy something that you are interested in.
I will be happy if you can come.
Best wishes,
L