Writing prompt: My Family Life

Student essay:
I like Jerry's family life. Because I think Jerry's life is very warm. And you will never feel lonely. Although it sometimes will feel crowed,but mind,it is very lively. My mum,my dad and my sister are my family members. I don't have many possessions,just have a mobile phone. What's more I often help my parents to do some housework. I wash my own clothes and clean the room by myself. We have many family activities such as,go shopping,take trips and so on. We always have meals together. I love all my family very much. We are very close and often encourage each other.

Corrected essay:
I like Jerry's family life because I think Jerry's life is very warm. And you will never feel lonely. Although it sometimes feels crowded, I don't mind. It is very lively. My mum, my dad and my sister are my family members. I don't have many possessions, just a mobile phone. What's more, I often help my parents to do some housework. I wash my own clothes and clean the room by myself. We have many family activities such as going shopping, taking trips and so on. We always have meals together. I love all my family very much. We are very close and often encourage each other.