Writing prompt: My Ideal

Student essay:
Ideal is a splendid dream .It can lead you to success and make your deam come true.Now I'd like to share the ideal jobs of our group members with all of you.
You know,Li hua is a smart one in class.He never wears anything in the way out.Naturely,he wants to play a role of fashion designer.As everybody knows,he is senior to draw.He dreams of creating wonderful decorations with which you can be a shining star.
Chang Lili thought she may be a gardener.Sh is an out-going girl as we all love.She love plants,especially the lively and beautiful ones.Chang eagers to approach nature where is the original of the life and soal.So she wants to make the citg a better place just like nature.
Ma kai is fond of writing.As a result,he plans to be a writer,in which way he can share briliant story with others.Sun jun likes to cook green food.It's hard to be a good cooker,nonetheless that's what he like and the most important part in his life.
My dream is to become a film maker.Life is hard and cold while happy and relaxing.Flim is somthing we hunger for or we want to tell people.Dreams are awful,exciting and awesome.I wish I would share my life and dream with you.
Whatever is your dream,just embrace the present and dream your future.Remember:Everything is awesome.

Corrected essay:
The ideal is a splendid dream. It can lead you to success and make your dream come true. Now I'd like to share the ideal jobs of our group members with all of you.
You know, Li Hua is a smart one in class. He never wears anything on the way out. Naturally, he wants to play a role of a fashion designer. As everybody knows, he is skilled at drawing. He dreams of creating wonderful decorations with which he can be a shining star.
Chang Lili thinks she may be a gardener. She is an out-going girl as we all love. She loves plants, especially the lively and beautiful ones. Chang eagerly wants to approach nature, which is the origin of life and soul. So she wants to make the city a better place just like nature.
Ma Kai is fond of writing. As a result, he plans to be a writer, in which way he can share brilliant stories with others. Sun Jun likes to cook green food. It's hard to be a good cook. Nonetheless, that's what he likes and the most important part of his life.
My dream is to become a film maker. Life is hard and cold while happy and relaxing. The film is something we hunger for or we want to tell people. Dreams are awful, exciting, and awesome. I wish I could share my life and dream with you.
Whatever your dream is, just embrace the present and dream of your future. Remember: Everything is awesome.