Writing prompt: My Favorite Teacher

Student essay:
Dear Henery,
I am glad to hear that you get on very well with your maths teacher,Mr Green.Now I'd like to tell you about my favourite teacher.
My favourite teacher is Mr.Shao.He teaches us geography.He is about 27 , I think , and is rather good-looking.He always wears glasses and T-shirt . He has short black hairs and a big smile in his face.
I like him very much. Because he is very friendly . We like friends when we get together.And he is so lovely that just like a boy.He always tells jokes to us in class.I don't think I will bored in Mr.Shao's class.
I still remember once I didn't understand a point in a class.I felt worried and helpless.But Mr.Shao taught me again and again until I got it.Because Mr.Shao I still have a positive attitude to geography.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Best wishes!
Yours,
Li Hua

Corrected essay:
Dear Henery,
I am glad to hear that you get on very well with your maths teacher, Mr. Green.
Now I'd like to tell you about my favourite teacher.
My favourite teacher is Mr. Shao. He teaches us geography. He is about 27, I think, and is rather good-looking. He always wears glasses and a T-shirt. He has short black hair and a big smile on his face.
I like him very much because he is very friendly. We are like friends when we get together. And he is so lovely, just like a boy. He always tells jokes to us in class. I don't think I will be bored in Mr. Shao's class.
I still remember once I didn't understand a point in a class. I felt worried and helpless. But Mr. Shao taught me again and again until I got it. Because of Mr. Shao I still have a positive attitude to geography.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Best wishes!
Yours,
Li Hua