Writing prompt: Competition

Student essay:
With the competition becoming fiercer and fiercer ,some people think putting competition into education is necessary but other people don't agree with them .
Nowadays competition and wider ,which covers sporty ,job and education ...Ail of us in the society must be faced with competition.On the one hand competition is good for our development .Because we can learn more from who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again ,and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties ,But one the other hand,failing in the competition may become a hit for someone whose heart isn't strong enough ,or even kill him or her.
To tell the truth,I dislike when people refer to competition.Because maybe one day ,you hare to compete with your best due to a little benefit .

Corrected essay:
With the competition becoming fiercer and fiercer, some people think putting competition into education is necessary but other people don't agree with them.
Nowadays competition is wider, which covers sports, jobs, education... All of us in society must be faced with competitions. On the one hand competition is good for our development, because we can learn more from those who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again, and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties. But on the other hand, failing in competition may become a blow for someone whose heart isn't strong enough, or even kill him or her.
To tell the truth, I dislike it when people refer to competition, because maybe one day, you have to compete with your best friend due to a little benefit.