Writing prompt: My Friend Linda

Student essay:
When I was only 12 years old I met Linda for the first time.Gradually,we became the best friends.She is an apple-faced plumply girl,has bright eyes,white skin and short hair,prefers to wear simply T-shirt and jeans.
The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform,we were introducing ourselves to new classmates.I said hello to her passionately,but she replied coldly.So over a long period,I had regarded Linda as a person who is difficult to get along with.Year passed,we went to school together by bicycle,got close with each other.Till that tme,I found that she is an open-hearted but also sensitive girl.Because of the"open-hearted".we keep no secrets from each other,but quarrel occasionally as well.But we try our best to adapt and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.
The thing I admire her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of the cancer,I was very worried about her mental state.But after a few days,she picked herself up and determinated to study harder than before and lead a positive life from that on to make her mother delighted.
Five years passed,we grew up together.I will cherish this friendship,cherish Linda,the important person in my life.

Corrected essay:
When I was only 12 years old, I met Linda for the first time. Gradually, we became best friends. She is an apple-faced, plump girl with bright eyes, white skin and short hair, and prefers to wear simple T-shirts and jeans. The first day we came to middle school wearing the school uniform, we introduced ourselves to new classmates. I said hello to her passionately, but she replied coldly. So over a long period, I regarded Linda as a person who was difficult to get along with. Years passed, we went to school together by bicycle and got close to each other. Till that time, I found that she was an open-hearted but also sensitive girl. Because of being "open-hearted," we kept no secrets from each other, but quarreled occasionally as well. But we tried our best to adapt to and understand each other and keep the friendship finally.
The thing I admired about her most was that this year her mother unfortunately died because of cancer. I was very worried about her mental state. But after a few days, she picked herself up and was determined to study harder than before and lead a positive life from then on to make her mother delighted.
Five years passed. We grew up together. I will cherish this friendship and cherish Linda, the important person in my life.