Writing prompt: Evacuation Drill

Student essay:
nowadays,there are many people died of fire disaster.if you encounter a fire disaster,what would do?today,i will tell you something about how to escape the fire disaster.we should take evacuation drill.
the very important thing is to take an evacuation drill,and the aim is to improve our save you ability skill.and we should know how to escape the place where the fire disaster take place .there also are many prablems .such as treat the drill as fun and think it is not important .the most important problem is the fear of the fire .
in my opponion ,first,we should keep calm and quiet.second,we should obey the suggestions that the teacher said.finily,we should keep ourseives safe.
now,if you encounter this condition,i hope you can remember my suggestion.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, there are many people who have died from fire disasters. If you encounter a fire disaster, what would you do? Today, I will tell you something about how to escape the fire disaster. We should take an evacuation drill.
The very important thing is to take an evacuation drill, and the aim is to improve our ability or skill to save ourselves. And we should know how to escape the place where the fire disaster takes place. There are also many problems, such as treating the drill as fun and thinking it is not important. The most important problem is the fear of the fire.
In my opinion, first, we should keep calm and quiet. Second, we should obey the suggestions that the teacher said. Finally, we should keep ourselves safe.
Now, if you encounter this condition, I hope you can remember my suggestions.