Writing prompt: A Favorite Trip

Student essay:
I went on a trip to Qingdao with my family during the holidays. Qingdao is far from Weifang,so we spent about 2 hours.
What a beautiful city Qingdao is! The sun was shining and the air was fresh. The view was great and everyone was friendly and welcoming. We swam in the sea and played beach volleyball. Finally we were fishing. I took many beautiful pictures.
I had a good time there. If l have free time,l hope l can go there again.

Corrected essay:
I went on a trip to Qingdao with my family during the holidays. Qingdao is far from Weifang, so we spent about 2 hours traveling.
What a beautiful city Qingdao is! The sun was shining and the air was fresh. The view was great and everyone was friendly and welcoming. We swam in the sea and played beach volleyball. Finally we went fishing. I took many beautiful pictures.
I had a good time there. If I have free time, I hope I can go there again.