Writing prompt: The Internet Has Changed Our Life

Student essay:
A long time ago, there were no computers, so as the Internet. But as the computers had invented, Internet is more essential for our life at present.
Before the Internet invented, our life is less boring and common than nowadays, because people had nothing interesting to do except watching TV, listening to the music, reading books and so on.
After the Internet invents, a tremendous amount of people buy computers, so that they can surf the Internet. It has brought both convenience and knowledge to us which makes our life better and better. Nonetheless, it is unfavorable for young people to surf the Internet for too much time, because it does harm to their eyes.
In my opinion, Internet is not only for fun, it also enriches people's knowledge and experience. As long as not to indulge in amusement, Internet is also a useful tool which can help us a lot.
Maybe in the future, Internet will be more and more popular among the youngs and the olds.

Corrected essay:
A long time ago, there were no computers, nor was there the Internet. But as computers have been invented, the Internet is more and more essential for our life at present.
Before the Internet was invented, our life was more boring and more common than it is now, because people had nothing interesting to do except watching TV, listening to music, reading books and so on.
After the Internet was invented, a tremendous amount of people bought computers, so that they could surf the Internet. It has brought both convenience and knowledge to us, which makes our life better and better. Nonetheless, it is unfavorable for young people to surf the Internet for too much time, because it does harm to their eyes.
In my opinion, the Internet is not only for fun, it also enriches people's knowledge and experience. As long as people don't indulge in amusement, the Internet is also a useful tool which can help us a lot.
Maybe in the future, the Internet will be more and more popular among the young and the old.