Writing prompt: Notice

Student essay:
Hello!Everybody!I want to tell you a good news: We will have an English evening! It won't only be good at our English study ,but also let you enjoy English .
We will hold at our school meeting hall .Time is 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. next Friday.That time, will be show all kinds of performance: English stories, songs, poems and short plays and so on.Mr and Mrs Green and their children form Canda will enter our English evening.And they will give a wonderful performance for us!
Welcome to teachers and students attend the English evening!We hope you have a good evening!
Student's Union
May 2,2004

Corrected essay:
Hello! Everybody! I want to tell you some good news: We will have an English evening! It won't only be good for our English study, but also let you enjoy English.
We will hold it at our school meeting hall. The time is from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. next Friday. At that time, there will be all kinds of performances: English stories, songs, poems, short plays and so on. Mr. and Mrs. Green and their children from Canada will attend our English evening. And they will give a wonderful performance for us!
Welcome teachers and students to attend the English evening! We hope you have a good evening!
Student's Union
May 2, 2004