Writing prompt: How to Drive Safely?

Student essay:
Today, many families have cars, but at the same time the accident become more and more. To protect others and yourself, don't drive after drinking wine at fist. Because you can't control yourself well. Then don't drive tiredly, though you drink the energy drinks. And don't try using phones when you are driving. It is dangerous! Last, when you find someone is crossing the streets, even children and old people, you must be slowly down.
In order to protect your and others safety, please drive carefully.

Corrected essay:
Today, many families have cars, but at the same time accidents are becoming more and more common. To protect others and yourself, don't drive after drinking wine at first, because you can't control yourself well. Then don't drive tiredly, even if you drink the energy drinks. And don't try using phones when you are driving. It is dangerous! Last, when you find someone crossing the street, especially children and old people, you must slow down.
In order to protect your and others' safety, please drive carefully.