Writing prompt: The Early Bird Catches the Worm

Student essay:
There is an old saying that the early bird catches the worm. It means that the more you give out, the more you'll receive. Someone may say that some triumphant people could easily arrive their goals without too much effort.
However,my opinion was actually opposite. THe reason why many renowned people would make achievements was that they were hardworking but not owing to their intelligence. For example, the greatest inventor Edison used to fail in his experiments again and again but never had he given up. As to me, I used to be incapable in athletics. In order to strengthen my body quality ,I took pleasurable advantage of my spare time to exercise. Despite the fact that the process was tough, eventually ,I succeeded in making my body more healthier.
It was just a sample of myself. Nevertheless no sooner had I trained than I overcame my laziness in terms of hard work. So It's time for you to catch the worm even though you are competent.

Corrected essay:
There is an old saying that the early bird catches the worm. It means that the more you give out, the more you'll receive. Someone may say that some triumphant people could easily achieve their goals without too much effort.
However, my opinion is actually the opposite. The reason why many renowned people made achievements was that they were hardworking, not owing to their intelligence. For example, the greatest inventor Edison used to fail in his experiments again and again but he never gave up. As for me, I used to be incapable in athletics. In order to strengthen my body quality, I took pleasurable advantage of my spare time to exercise. Despite the fact that the process was tough, eventually, I succeeded in making my body healthier.
It is just a sample of myself. Nevertheless, no sooner had I trained than I overcame my laziness in terms of hard work. So it's time for you to catch the worm even though you are competent.