Writing prompt: Should We Keep Animals in Zoos?

Student essay:
This week, we hold a moot about whether we should keep animals in zoos.
About 40% of students thought it's correct to do that because we can see animals from different places in a short time. The animals, especially the endangered animals can be taken a good care of.
The other student including me thought it's cruel to animals. In our opinions, animals belong to the nature and they love living in the nature. Many animals are too big to play lightheartedly in the cold iron cages. If an animal loses its freedom, although it needn't worry about food and so on, it will be never happy.
Instead of that, we should try our best to protect animals. First, hunting unbridledly is so harmful that we can't do that. Most importantly, we should protect the natural environment because it is the home to animals.

Corrected essay:
This week, we held a moot about whether we should keep animals in zoos.
About 40% of students thought it was correct to do that because we could see animals from different places in a short time. The animals, especially the endangered animals could be taken good care of.
The other students including me thought it was cruel to animals. In our opinion, animals belong to nature and they love living in nature. Many animals are too big to play lightheartedly in the cold iron cages. If an animal loses its freedom, although it needn't worry about food and so on, it will never be happy.
In light of this, we should try our best to protect animals. First, hunting unbridledly is so harmful that we can't do that. Most importantly, we should protect the natural environment because it is the home to animals.