Writing prompt: Giving Advice

Student essay:
Dear boy,
I'm sorry to hear about your problems and hope I can help.
Maybe you exercise less so you are too heavy. You should exercise more. For example, you can run a few miles every day. How about joining a club? Maybe you can do more exercise this way.
If you eat more junk food, you will get heavy. You won't have a healthy unless you eat less junk food like the hamburger, the ice-cream and the potato chips.
Don't feel bad about yourself, relaxed and try to change the weight. I believe if you try, you will have a healthy body and happiness of life.
I hope my advice helps. Please write to me again if you need any more help.
Uncle Tim

Corrected essay:
Dear boy,
I'm sorry to hear about your problems and hope I can help.
Maybe you exercise less so you are too heavy. You should exercise more. For example, you can run a few miles every day. How about joining a club? Maybe you can do more exercise this way.
If you eat more junk food, you will get heavy. You won't have a healthy body unless you eat less junk food like hamburgers, ice-cream and potato chips.
Don't feel bad about yourself. Relax and try to change your weight. I believe if you try, you will have a healthy body and a happy life.
I hope my advice helps. Please write to me again if you need any more help.
Uncle Tim