[Hero, G2 Touch General] croques:
Dishy-Dev-of-the-Day

Dishy Dev of the Day

Well folks, those of you in the English Chapter that attended the do at the Grovellers, in Guildford last evening, had a super time. I was so pleased we all managed to fit in. Mario had bought in a few extra bottles of Chianti Classico as requested. I'd told him we would all be coming 'en masse' and to expect, at least, 100+. He was right though; the two extra bottles <em>were</em> enough.

Anyway, I just know our chunky-hunky-dev enjoyed all the man-hugs you gave him - and those from me too - (you can see he's pleased in the picture I took). I lingered in the hug a little longer than normal; I summoned up all my courage and pressed quite close! I decided I quite like man boobs, don't you? Well, no probably, you more than likely being a fella; you most likely don't. On the other hand though...

But to continue... it was strange, no-one sat close to him all evening. I guess, being a code-monkey, he's one of the Great Unwashed and whiffs a bit. You know what I mean? But I couldn't be sure though; I'm having trouble with my sinuses at the moment and tend to snort snot sideways and everywhere.

I'm sorry! Was that too much information?

No-one mentioned any odd smells and the evening passed just fine. Folks tended to drift away after about 7'ish as they had something else scheduled. My, what busy lives you all lead! Phones were hot with all those diary entries I could see being made. Someone was going on about an app that can ring your phone whenever you want. What would be the point of that? Daft if you ask me.

But I missed most of the conversation, such as there was, as I was making peace with Mario. He said I'd promised 100 guests, when I done no such thing. I know how difficult it is for members in these stricken times. Travel costs are so high now, aren't they? Some had come from as far away as Shalford! Thanks for all that effort! You know who you are; I won't embarrass you by naming names. But it was a shame when you had to leave very early-on so as to get back, as the lights on your bike had broken. But, as I say, I think the evening passed off very well.

Well, apart that is from that slightly unpleasant moment when someone flashed their phone in Hunky-Chunk's face and asked "can you beat that then?" Clearly the phone in question was not loaded with his ROM. Well, I know for a fact it wasn't his ROM. As it all seemed to be working fine; with no lag or anything. And I could clearly see the GPS had a fix, even indoors as we were. I think it might have been He-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named's ROM. He went purple for a moment; puce even; I thought for a moment the game was up and we all were going to get a tougue lashing. Asperger's and Tourrettes together is quite a burden for one boy to carry isn't it?

But he was easily distracted by someone breaking a glass behind him. He's known to have the attention span of a gnat on a Summer's evening buzzing back to places already visited. (It's the limited attention span that gets the bugs in the code you know - but I'd better not dwell on that, had I?)

Now, as it happened, I had the time to ask our Hunky-Chunk your questions over breakfast this morning. Oooh! I really ought to re-phrase that ... as nothing happened. No. Nothing.

I tell you - nothing at all happened. Well here's what did happen... after polishing off the two bottles of Chianti between us, he was a bit legless and I thought I'd better see him home. Despite me promising him I was going to make him famous as my latest toy-boy. And telling him that between us we could re-populate Passchendaele. And handing over a purse full of Viagra. He was as limp as a filleted cuttle fish in a wheelchair on an outing to Lourds. I don't think he had a clue as to what was on offer! If he did, he certainly didn't want it. No, and I wasn't put off by the frilly underwear either; I'd have been willing to give it a go. I tend to wear the plainer style with a larger gusset myself, but hey-ho.

I suppose I've lost some of my allure since I stopped colouring my hair and become menopausal - well long since really. And so what? I've developed a few 'laughter lines'. And the flesh sags a bit where it didn't used to. We all have to face up to age catching us up eventually. It's a cruel, cruel World, isn't it? But I digress... and what am I waffling on about?

Without more ado - let me announce our Dishy-Dev-of-the-Day!

He's asked me not to reveal his real name or screen-handle(s) as he might want to get a proper job one day and doesn't want all this tosh obscuring his resume. I can understand that.

But he's one real Hell-of-a-Fella and a Dishy-Chunky-Hunky-Dunky-Dev I can tell you.

Here he is:

[edit] Picture Removed - he didn't like this one either [edit]

isn't he a sweetie? And he's really nothing like the villain he's made out to be.

I knew you wouldn't be disappointed. Actually, it isn't the photo I took. He wouldn't let me use that. (I thought it was we women who were supposed to be vain.) But he gave me a picture of himself taken before all that lard loaded, and insisted I use that. So there you go; a little fishy, wishy-dishy, picture instead.

Born	: Cesarean section
Nationality	: British
Age	: 27.75
Pet family name	: Oi You!
Occupation	: Windows Systems Engineer
Live	: Godalming - house share. (Ed. It's a squat and the water's off!)
School	: Yes
Uni	: No
School Prizes	: Christmas Raffle 1997
Favourite food	: Anything in a pie-case & chips
Favourite colour: Green
Favourite Group : Sugababes
Favourite Oldie	: YMCA, Village People
Favourite OS	: RISC OS
Favorite phone	: Nokia N95
Favourite saying: Defectus tuus consilium carpere discrimen mihi non constituit!
Car	: Renault Twingo	(Ed. Un-taxed and not insured)
Vote for	: Me
Spare time spent: Chillin' 'n' codin'
Sports	: Water pistols duel around the rack rooms - but only on night shift!
Snort etc	: Nothing in last 9 months; I'm clean now, honest, well, apart from a popper or two at weekends
Best Game	: The Ultimate Gay Mafia Wars
Dislikes	: Anyone who questions me; boyfriend leaving pants on floor; other ROM devs; people taking the piss.
Pet hates	: Grey and wrinklies (Ed. touche)
Disappointed by	: Not going to Uni
Future plans	: Develop for Windows Phone 7; ban everyone fom XDADevelopers who posts a bug report on my ROM
Would like	: Respect; adoration; a degree; more pay

Well, there you have it folks. And look out for our next....Dishy-Dev-of-the-Day coming soon to sycophants-R-us! Are you a member yet? PM 42turkeys if you want to join!

(c) Piss-Taking Productions Ltd: Pimlico, Poplar, Purley, Penge & Penzance

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And tomorrow night...

I can confirm that 'Thank You Devs Week' bravely continues despite the lethargy displayed by last evening's poor attendance. I only received one apology. Shame on the rest of you.

I'm not sure what's got into you all. I know that a woman discussing things about blokes bits and the like in today's 'Dishy-Dev-of-the-Day' isn't really the social norm. But hey, times are a changing.

All you little introverts out there can really help push the social barriers on a bit. So don't be frightened - just join in and do your thing! Brown-nose a bit if you want or just listen to others doing it. So, OK, maybe you've just got to reload that ROM and perhaps your social skills do need honing a touch; but you've got to get your head out of that phone at some time - do it now! Please come and join us! If you want some tips on brown-nosing, 42TurkeyTwizzlersInOneSitting has written a how-to. You'll find it on the web site. It's an invaluable primer for getting to the top in todays world of business.

Anyway, let's get on to tomorrow's Dishy-Dev-of-the-Day.

Who could it be?

He bravely battles the booze; he's bright but boring; he's a big bad bastard and he's BANNED!

Know who it is yet? Make sure you join Sychophants-R-Us to get the full low-down in tomorrows edition of Dishy-Dev-of-the-Day. Remember to pm 42turkeys to join!

PS No Swoop Group meet on this one; (I want to see if I can get the bastard on my own this time).