[Off-topic] bronkish:
Gen-Z, listen, you're the best - the hope of us all. I mean that. But, I don't really want you on my framing crew, or, on a table saw in the shop. I need you there, but, 7 times out of 10 you cause more problems than you solve. You used to could say it was your parents fault, raising you crooked, but, you wipe your own ass now. Put your phone down and earn a scar, you'll thank me later. Oh, cut your nails.

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So, you wanna be a 'carpenter'? You think you’ll ‘get the job’ because summer break and you have a tape measure and don’t they hire everybody? It’s not all handy-man goodness, middle-aged portly guy casing a window or shelving a closet. Carpenters paint, are roofers, siders, tapers, board-hangers, tilers, framers, finish-guys...if you’re building a house, say, from foundation to finish, you’re gonna do a lot of stuff, and all of it nowadays, is carpentry. Start stretching now. Get some sleep.

You, aged 15 to dead that think you can pick up a hammer and go be a builder; commercial or residential, need to step back one time. You should not be casual about this. Want ads, labor market, economy notwithstanding. If you really want to be a builder, because it’s awesome, Imma tell you the very lowest level of efficiency and skill you need to have, or, be able to attain post-haste, before you go calling on someone already doing it for work. Building, carpentry, working with wood, metal, whatever - it's awesome and horrible. Nobody is picking on you if you can't do this job (you know, unless you spout off), because, most people cannot. Maybe you.

You need to learn how to move and to have balance. I used to tell my kids, move like water. Have you ever played a sport, contact? Building will reveal a lot of new ‘clutch ‘muscles. You may have to push a sheet of 3/4 inch plywood up a ladder, a few feet, maybe a storey. It’s only a few feet, but, it’s forever. Think about that one time, you've never done this, or likely, anything like it. It's hard on multiple levels. First, pick up that sheet of sheathing; it’s 8 feet long and 4 feet tall, then, walk with it, then, get it on that ladder in such a fashion that you can continue your task, then, push that fuker up the ladder. Keep climbing, we are waiting...if you're the guy up top, you have to pull that sheet up, get it over the plate edge, and pull it in for use, ladder guy is helping. You can’t feel any of this watching a youtube video. Now, you probably will not be called upon to push a sheet of plywood up a ladder, but, I have had to plenty in the past, and even today the situation might call for it, so, you get it done. A builder less than a year ago asked me if I could do just that during a telephone interview. I said sure, but, I’m not gonna. He laughed and said – I hear you, but, that’s what I need. I said good luck and we hung up as friends.

You need to learn how to walk and carry heavy things on uneven surfaces and slopes, under, around, and over obstacles and people. If you can't move, navigate and negotiate - don't buy a hammer, don't come knocking. More than once I carried a bundle of shingles (even 2) on my shoulder up an extension-ladder 3 storeys. Ladder wasn't tied off and I had to flick that bundle(s) up onto the roof, get myself up there, and start working - was typically the side of a 12 pitch, 3-decker in central massachusetts – early ‘90s OSHA 10? Lol. Nobody was footing the ladder. Once I made it to the chimney there was a rope. Lol, I had to tie it off. I have done plenty of daredevil and crazy things in my life, some actually legendary scary ****; climbing shingles up 3 storeys; top-3 all day. Fuuuuk that. If it scares me, you're already fetal. If you’re too scared you can’t move, if you can’t move you can’t work or lend a hand. Of course, you won’t have to do that, that was crazy, but, it helps if you can. And I certainly wasn’t the only one, back in the day or yesterday, had to do stuff like this. If you agree to a crazy thing, you will be asked again. Know who you are, or, you will learn the hard way. I mean, could be a good thing; your stupid ass.

Speaking of your stupid ass. I don’t know if you’re stupid, until you show me that you are. Or, are not. Please, don’t be stupid. This is a rough job and it’s dangerous. The only thing I know is that you can’t do what I can and often it’s a pain in the balls until you can. You will get there, this ain’t rocket surgery. I need a guy next to me knows what he’s doing and is present. If I know you’re green I’ll show you everything, no problem, one time, maybe even twice. If you claim 5 years you better know what you’re doing.

You need to learn how to deal with stress, all kinds of stress. Someone is going to chew your ass out pretty good that 3rd time you need to be shown; I already asked you, on the second try, about how you learn and we laughed and you were comfortable and you said you were good, you had it – but you didn’t, and now, it’s your ass, for wasting time and lying. You are born knowing only how to suck, you must learn everything else. If you’re one of those prideful ************s, you’re not going to have a good time. Learn to be honest, if you can’t do a thing, don’t say that you can. People are relying on your word and are watching.

Or, just wait 'til that board disagrees, while you're dangling. Just wait 'til that position you are in becomes, you know, hairy, and it will, before break, maybe every day. I'm not trying to scare you, we need good help, I'm trying to get you into a good position, save some grief, maybe a life, your finger. Sure, there are rules and safety measures - of course. Common sense, and everybody works differently, bosses, companies, they all have their fung shui and do their thing their way; read the room, adapt improvise, overcome. Often it’s you vs. an inanimate object. Lol, are you dumber than a piece of wood?

But, safety is more a set of guidelines, you know. It’s a lot safer than it was back in the day, mostly, but, if it was easy everyone would do it. You need to be able to walk on the edge of a dime, holding something, positioning, and fastening something, with force, up over your head. Once you learn how to move it becomes pretty easy, just your balance and muscles, and that becomes like breathing. Well, gravity, inertia, stress, and stamina, too. But, it's all good once you learn how to move. You will still be scared those times and you will still find yourself ocassionaly in dangerous situations, but, now you're in control, moving well. It's all good. Pro tip: Watch where you look; up, down, sideways, all that gets weird – being relaxed is the best safety measure anyone can take, don’t get dizzy – an ounce of prevention, man.

It’s about movement and efficiency. Any moron can swing a hammer. Well, I mean, you would think.

Using a hammer is a skill, it requires finess, coordination, dexterity, strength. You will use your hammer for a bunch of things unrelated to sinking nails. Go watch some old cowboy movies - see how that gunfighter moves his gun around - all that control and finess? That's how you should be able to use your hammer. You will get there. Your hammer is truly a multi-purpose tool and watch how easily it becomes an extension of your arm. Unless you are just framing houses, I don’t really recommend buying a ‘framing’ hammer. My hammer since the early ‘90’s has been a finisher: estwing 16oz ‘rip claw’. I can use it for anything and if I’m framing I’m using a nailer and my hammer only as needed, usually to pound headers, flush a board up, or pull a porcupine – I like a finisher because it gets it done without worrying about smashing something pretty or critical with a frisbe sized head.

Your initial tools will include: apron (tool belt), hammer, 25' tape measure, knife, pencil (5), screw-gun (impact), speed square, torpedo level, get some bits; drill, fastener. You will need nothing else because every other tool will be provided and you won't be trusted to do anything other than nailing, sawing, and moving **** around, for a while anyway. Be grateful for that. You need to know how to use these tools before you go calling on some builder. Some may teach you, most will not. You will still be new-guy; grunt, moving **** around, laboring, cutting, but, they will keep you. You will be new-guy until you are not, it's all up to you.

Whip out that tape measure and get familiar. It's 1st grade stuff, but, X out of every 5 new guys can't measure a thing to save their lives. AYFKM?! 6 3/8 better be 6 3/8. You call out a measurement and somebody is going to act on it. Cut a board, order stuff, whatever...you had better be right. As well, you might be on a saw. Board stretchers don't exist, wood is expensive.

They don’t have to be, but, saws are scary and will happily kill you if you let them. A saw will eat your face. Lots can happen going through wood, pay attention. A saw will pull your stupid ass into next week and off a roof truss quicker than the piss just stained your pants. Respect that saw, and the piece you are cutting. Saws are loud and heavy - that 12lb wormdrive weighs exactly 300 lbs at the end of the day. You need coordination, balance, strength, and finess to use it as you go, up in the joists, or as needed on the ground; across a full sheet, on a stick. Framers use heavy saws and heavy nail guns, and position heavy lollys and heavy staging and heavy… With saws come commands: cut the line, gimme a heavy 89 3/16ths, 12 and an 1/8th, short. You have angles, bevels, joints, aww, man - I could talk about cutting for days. Different saws for different applications. Get a sawzall and a circular saw. Cordless; welcome to batteries.

Nail guns are initially heavy and unweildly. They are attached to a hose following you and pulling you and sometimes making you deal with it. Nail guns require nails, pack a bunch in your toolbelt (apron) - climb....Stand on the top plate, 2 storeys up and pull in a truss off a lull, set it, toenail it, climb up it and brace it to the one aside it in 2 spots. Climb back down (slide) to the top plate, wait, pull the next one in, repeat; all while holding and negotiating: using, a nail gun. It can be fun, actually, or scare you silly enough to cause mishap, or, somewhere in the respectful middle. Building is a lot like driving – keep your head in the game.

Bags of cement are heavy. 16' 2x10s are heavy, even KD (kiln dried - NOT pressure treated, or, PT). Crown up. Everyting is heavy, 2 pounds = a hundred and fifty before you know it. Plywood is heavy, sheetrock is heavy, boxes of nails are heavy. You're getting fat, quit that. Lay off the cheeze-puffs, drink some water.

I can't stress movement enough because everything is heavy, and most times, not much will cooperate. Not even your muscles, initially. You must learn to move with heavy stuff on your shoulder – prevent fatigue by carrying properly, prevent injury. If you can't move right, just don't. Learn how to sing, I guess, or code. This job might kill you, or, maybe cripple you, maybe somebody else. Look around. Most of the fellas my age don't even walk right anymore. Some of them can’t even pick their nose. You will at least become familiar with ibuprofen ovre time. Most fellas I work with are fit as hell, move well, know the job - come friday every one of us is tired. It’s likely you don’t know tired yet, jelly-legs. You will, and you’ll get passed it. You sleep really well when you work hard.

Knowing how to move equates to good balance and strength, continuing motion; consider water, move like it. You will need to in this profession. You won't need the gym. Listen - you gotta eat right and actually drink all that water during the day, not just when it's 94 degrees out. Eat right - protein in the morning, then veggies, fruits, more protein, nuts, carbs. - good food, not processed. Try. We all fail at this, but, in the overall, builders have good diets because we need to - we need stamina, endurance. We need to be able to do the work and it's hard. Even if you're fit going in, you haven't moved this way before and you will bang up your hands, shins, forearms until you have learned. Your legs will wobble, you will make things harder than they need to be. Until you get through it. There are levels of fit. You will toughen-up, or quit.

The wickedest bonus: consider this, I'm in my mid-50's, dating, well, ish. Building keeps me pretty fit, as a result, guess what I can still do? **cue sexy music** I can get down in the morning, goto work, built ****, come home and do it again. Can you? My ex used to call me the energizer bunny, and the match dot com chicas just don’t stop calling. You’re up against me, ************. Go ahead, introduce me to your mom or your sister. Thanks ;)

Now, working with wood - it's not all the same. Most of what I mentioned above is framing. I'm building a house right now, until we move to sheetrock, it's framing, or, rough. So, 2x6's into walls; headers, 2x10s and sheathing into floors. You’ve got your interior walls. Gables, walls - stand 'em up, plumb them. brace 'em, lap them in, square them off - there's a lot of ways and framing methodologies, governed by the plans. People like to move well differently. People frame differently. Adapt. Finish is different. Immediately, it's lighter. It's also more precise and you need tools for rough (framing) and finish because as a carpenter you will do both. Get the tools you need when you need them. Lol, you'll paint, too, and siding and likely roofing.

Woodworker is different as well - cabinetry, furniture, custom whatever. This is where I am more at home - I like building houses, remodeling, and whatnot, carpentry - but, I like woodworking better. It suits how I move better; I am more precision and finesse. As well - I don't like fuk'ing heights anymore. I'm a ground guy - you ain't. You are an everything guy until you are not - until you get better at the one, or two things. Or, it falls into you, or vice versa and you adapt. I've been saying all along that it's about movement, and it is. Carpentry is different than woodworking, than plumbing, than concrete work - they all overlap in that tools, heavy, stress, movement, all that - but they are all specialties. I like wood. If I'm not pulling a sliver out I didn't work that day. If I don't get to smell sawdust, or see the sunrise, then the day is ****. In a woodshop I don't get to be in the sun, or, weather (this gets you pretty strong and enhances your health), but - I don't HAVE to be in the weather, and I get to build cool things, or even just maybe boxes, but, I'm at my bench using my tools, smelling sawdust, fashioning stuff from pieces of wood and whatnot.

I think carpentry, building, is the 2nd best job ever, for anybody that can do it, woman or man. Speaking of women in building - I have worked with women in the profession before, way back in the day twice, and 3 times in the past few years. It's tricky. When I was teaching there was this one guy that used to say - she's got the biggest tits in 6th grade, that's a lot of responsibility. Make what you will of that, but, he wasn't a deviant, and it was funny once. You can't not see tits. Imma say that one more time, for those in the back - you can't not see tits. You gotta couple that with an inconvenient truth - most guys are pretty base, and though you wish you could escape it, sexual politics is everywhere. Now, I haven't met all that many gross fellas, honestly, and we are usually not at all what you think, but, there's a lotta riff-raff in this industry, to be sure. Also, there's biology.

Back in the day, the women I worked with were tough looking chicas, focused. They knew the deal, where they were at, what they were in. One was a plumber's apprentice and the other was a 'floor-guy'. The woman working the floors had an easier time, but both had bosses leering, pre-occupied. During the past few years one woman was on our framing crew - we were building a house. Boss was embarrassing, acted the fool, and she had no idea how to move. Her tits got in the way every day, the boss was a pig, she started working it because she sucked at framing and wouldn't learn and I quit those losers 2 months in. The other was working with me on a maintenance crew for a big condo complex. Most of the guys were drooling idiots because she was a 'hottie' and I had to redo her work because she sucked at it. Painting, too. Boss made excuses and leered. I quit there, too. It's just a pain in the ass. Most recently there was a young woman working in our woodshop, phone in back pocket or hand. She couldn't really lift the wood or move very fast or do much. She took cabinetry in trade school and, in fact, the shop manager was her old shop teacher, and was all the bad things.

****ing gross. Also, I caught her eye-****ing me twice. Seriously. At work. Goodbye. It may sound like I don't like working with women. Untrue. It's what becomes of the men that I don't like; it's the stupid. I have worked next to women that I have respected immensely, have learned from, just not in the building trade. I don't like working with anyone that makes me do it twice, or, that brings distraction. I don't care how you feel about this - I don't need a set of incompetent tits next to me, I don't need the boss wondering how he can get into her pants instead of planning for the next move. This job is far to serious for that ****. That said - I love working with the fellas, building stuff, but, I do miss working along side women. We are different and it's awesome how we process and use information differently, conclusions we may come to by virtue of a more complete perspective in having the other. That's awesome and any m/f team working well is probably the goat of whatever they are doing. I'll work next to and with you all day, ma'am, lady, chicasauras, and we will do just fine. Aside from amount of boards carried, I expect the same from ‘her’ as I do from ‘him’.

If you go into this with a good head, some common sense, and good movement ability, coordination, you will be fine. It’s a great profession on so many levels, and there is so much to learn, to do, to experience. I have been at this on and off for 35 years, give or take; good at stuff, not so good at stuff (yet, or, lol, still), still learning, teaching other times, or, just working with or without others building cool ****. I know how to move, to use my tools, and am afraid of heights, but, you wouldn’t ever know it from watching. I am no better or worse than you, truth be told, and you can do this, too. If you’re of a mind.