[Off-topic] Dirk:
...

"Yeah, they do," said Jack.

"I figured," replied Nate. "As for being bound by secrecy - with the

fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me,

this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you

decide to go back out to your kind. You won't be allowed to talk about me,

write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will

lead someone to guess correctly about me. You'll be bound to secrecy. Of

course, I'll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I'm

guessing that you're a man of your word, you'll never test the binding

anyway, so you won't notice." Nate said the last part with utter confidence.

Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a

little nervous at this. "Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know

that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?"

Well, Jack," said Nate sadly, "I can't tell you that, unless you make the

second request." Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back.

"Umm, well, ok," said Jack, "what is this about a second request? What can I

ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?"

"Sure!" said Nate, brightening. "You're allowed to ask for changes. Changes

to yourself. They're like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and

before you ask, I can't give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or

omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous

and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and

sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be - you still wouldn't be

omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very

useful, at least in my opinion." Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was

staring at him.

"Well, anyway," continued Nate, "I'd probably suggest giving you permanent

good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you'd be

immune to most poisons and diseases, and you'd tend to live a very long

time, barring accident, of course. And you'll even have a tendency to

recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a

request to me."

"Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?" said Jack. "And keep me healthy for a

long time? Hmmm. It doesn't sound bad at that. And it has to be a request

about a change to me? I can't ask to be rich, right? Because that's not

really a change to me?"

"Right," nodded Nate.

"Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?" Jack asked, hopefully.

"That takes two requests, Jack."

"Yeah, I figured so," said Jack. "But I could ask to be a genius? I could

become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?"

"Well, I could make you very smart," admitted Nate, "but that wouldn't

necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you

very athletic, but it wouldn't necessarily make you the best athlete either.

You've heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there's some

truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can't make you work hard. It

all depends on what you decide to do with it."

"Hmmm," said Jack. "Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request,

after this one?"

"Maybe," said Nate, "it depends on what you decide then. There are more

rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second

request. You know how it goes." Nate looked like he'd shrug, if he had

shoulders.

"Ok, well, since I'd rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent

health doesn't sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially.

Do I need to sign in blood or something?"

"No," said Nate. "Just hold out your hand. Or heel." Nate grinned. "Or

whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said,

that's how it works - the poison, you know," Nate said apologetically.

Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it

didn't hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better

about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot

snake sunk it's fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to

be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack

tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it

wouldn't hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn't going to be easy.

"Hey, Jack," Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind

him, "is that someone else coming up over there?"

Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of

nowhere? And did they bring food?

Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate...

Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through

his jeans...

Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. "I would have

decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn't have to

hoodwink me like that."

"I've been doing this a long time, Jack," said Nate, confidently. "You

humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you -

especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it's only been a couple of

minutes and it already doesn't hurt any more, does it? That's because of the

health benefit with this one. I told you that you'd heal quickly now."

"Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody

likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or

something instead?"

"More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you

accidentally kick me or move at the last second."

"Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify

to hear," answered Jack.

"Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to

just start talking?"

"Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food."

"We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like,"

answered Nate.

"Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up.

"What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically

whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with

excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.

"I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite

it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife,

that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.

"Ugh," said Jack, sitting back down. "I think I'll pass. I can last a little

longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it

is you find out here. And there's nothing to burn - I'd have to eat it raw.

No thanks. Just talk."

"Ok," replied Nate, still grinning. "But I'd better hurry, before you start

looking at me as food.

Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued.

"You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden."

Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate

sceptically.

"Well, that's the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack," said Nate. "Stand up

and look at the symbol on the rock here." Nate gestured around the dark

stone they were both sitting on with his nose.

Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a

representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around

was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches

left the truck to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it

looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and

embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.

Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the

setting sun. He wished he'd looked at it while the sun was higher in the

sky.

Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another

night out here! Arrrgh!

Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and

stood next to Nate. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate," said

Jack. "Which way is it back to town? And how far? I'm eventually going to

have to head back - I'm not sure I'll be able to survive by eating raw

desert critters for long. And even if I can, I'm not sure I'll want to."

"It's about 30 miles that way." Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail

this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to

the way he'd been going when he was crawling here. "But that's 30 miles by

the way the crow flies. It's about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be

able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head

out early tomorrow, Jack."

Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and

then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading

out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting

stuff. "Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?"

"Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway," said Nate. "He

figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a

'tree', offering 'temptations', making bargains. That kind stuff. But he

could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from

across the ocean. He worried about that for a while."

"Garden of Eden, hunh?" said Jack. "How long have you been here, Nate?"

"No idea, really," replied Nate. "A long time. It never occurred to me to

count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I

do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it's been thousands

of years, at least."

"So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?" said Jack.

"Beats me," said Nate. "Maybe. I can't remember if the first one of your

kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it

could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant

requests a 'temptation', though I've rarely had refusals."

"Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out

of the stone there?" asked Jack.

"Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much

bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don't remember

if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But

one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do

something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I've

been here ever since.

"What is this place?" said Jack. "And what did he ask you to do?"

"Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?" Nate loosened his

coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into

the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to

enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned

over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as

Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but

Nate was suddenly there in the way.

"You can't touch that yet, Jack," said Nate.

"Why not?" asked Jack.

"I haven't explained it to you yet," replied Nate.

"Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something," said Jack. "You'd push it

that way, and it would move in the slot."

"Yep, that's what it is," replied Nate.

"What does it do?" asked Jack. "End the world?"

"Oh, no," said Nate. "Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it

'The Lever of Doom'." For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing

voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and

grinned.

Jack was initially startled by Nate's pronouncement, but when Nate grinned

Jack laughed. "Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it

really do?"

"Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said," smirked Nate. "I just thought

the voice I used was funny, didn't you?"

Nate continued to grin.

"A lever to end humanity?" asked Jack. "What in the world is that for? Why

would anyone need to end humanity?"

"Well," replied Nate, "I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment.

Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really

bad, there should be a way to end it. I'm not really sure. All I know are

the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it's here. I

didn't think to ask back when I started here."

"Rules? What rules?" asked Jack.

"The rules are that I can't tell anybody about it or let them touch it

unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human

can be bound in that way at a time. That's it." explained Nate.

Jack looked somewhat shocked. "You mean that I could pull the lever now?

You'd let me end humanity?"

"Yep," replied Nate, "if you want to." Nate looked at Jack carefully. "Do

you want to, Jack?"

"Umm, no." said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. "Why in

the world would anyone want to end humanity? It'd take a psychotic to want

that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too,

wouldn't it?"

"Yep," replied Nate, "being as he'd be human too."

"Has anyone ever seriously considered it?" asked Nate. "Any of those bound

to secrecy, that is?"

"Well, of course, I think they've all seriously considered it at one time or

another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and

think, or so I'm told. Samuel considered it several times. He'd often get

disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while.

But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn't be here." Nate grinned some more.

Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at

the same time. After a bit, he said, "So this makes me the Judge of

humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?"

"That seems to be it," agreed Nate.

"What kind of criteria do I use to decide?" said Jack. "How do I make this

decision? Am I supposed to decide if they're good? Or too many of them are

bad? Or that they're going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?"

"Nope," replied Nate. "You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It's

up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you're just supposed

to know."

"But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel

horrible? Couldn't I make a mistake? How do I know that I won't screw up?"

protested Jack.

Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. "You don't. You just have to

try your best, Jack."

Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly

getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.

Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. "Nate, was Samuel the

one bound to this before me?"

"Yep," replied Nate. "He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to

read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried

in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months

ago."

"Sounds like a good guy," agreed Jack. "How did he handle this, when you

first told him. What did he do?"

"Well," said Nate, "he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and

then asked me some questions, much like you're doing."

"What did he ask you, if you're allowed to tell me?" asked Jack.

"He asked me about the third request," replied Nate.

"Aha!" It was Jack's turn to grin. "And what did you tell him?"

"I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request

you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point

that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you'll come here

and end it. You won't avoid it, and you won't wimp out." Nate looked serious

again. "And you'll be bound to do it too, Jack."