[Off-topic] PURESKILLZZZ:
Small Jokes post #4 ......

☻Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

☻What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

You don't, you've told her twice already!

☻What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?

One ****ed the miners, the other ****ed the Majors

☻Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.

☻Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

☻Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

☻I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

☻What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German?

A man who's too drunk to follow orders.

☻I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

☻How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?

Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

☻For sale : Air Bags, Used once.

☻What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

☻What's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

☻Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.

☻What's pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!

☻What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A ***** who knows everything.

☻How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

☻Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.

☻Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

☻Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An ****ing know it all.

☻A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

☻Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

☻Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

☻Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

☻What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

☻Q: How did the Pollack burn his face?

A: Bobbing for french fries.

☻Q: What's difference between Yogurt and Australia?

A: One has a real live culture.

☻Q: What's diff between Michael Jackson and grocery bag?

A: Ones white, made outta plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. The other you carry groceries in.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Fanny.

Fanny who?

Fanny the way you keep saying 'Who's there? Every time I knock.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's There?

A midget who cant reach the doorbell.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Harry.

Harry who?

Harry up and let me in!

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Harry, Butch, and Jimmy.

Harry, Butch and Jimmy who?

Harry up, Butch your arms around me, and Jimmy a kiss.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive across the road.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Mummy.

Mummy who?

Mummeasles are better so can I come in?

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

There's no need to cry, it's only a joke.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Madam.

Madam who?

Madam key broke in the lock.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I called by?

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Atch.

Atch who?

Bless you.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Mister.

Mister who?

Mister last bus home.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Ivor.

Ivor who?

Ivor sore hand from knocking so much.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

York.

York who?

York coming over to my place tonight?

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Isabel.

Isabel who?

Isabel broken? I had to knock.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here.

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Grandma. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Grandma. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Grandma. Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Aunt.

Aunt who?

Aunt you glad Grandma's gone?

☻Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Doris.

Doris who?

Doris locked - that's why I knocked.

☻friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx

☻(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

☻He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

☻Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

☻Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but you look hard!

☻T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

☻I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!