[Off-topic] PURESKILLZZZ:
Adult Jokes Continue ......

☻Cocktail	Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum!

☻Triplets or Twins	I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!

☻satisfy a woman	HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job

☻Life is like a ****	Life is like a ****! When it's hard **** it!

☻Rainbow	Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!

☻Love & War	LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the **** out of you!

☻Little Girl	When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY ****IN ARM!!

☻Virginity	Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!

☻Question Time	Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?

A)walnuts

Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?

A)chestnuts

Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?

A)a mouth full of ****!

☻The Truth	QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend?

ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!

☻Pringles	Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!!

☻Marriage	A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!

☻Getting Old	U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF

1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long

2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss

3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo

☻Baby Please	Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!

☻Pair of tights?	HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 *****,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!

☻Sex+drugs	Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so **** em all & lets get high!

☻Men like toilets	Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS

1)dey r always out of order

2)dey stink

3)the nice ones r always engaged

4)dey consume large amounts of liquid

5)r constantlt full of ****!

☻Mary's bush	Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that ***** its too damn hairy!!!

☻Horny	Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!

☻5 bad things	5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY

1)so dis explains ur car!

2)but still work,right?

3)r u cold?

4)shood i get a pump?

5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!

☻Hickory, dickory, dock	Hickory, dickory, dock,dis ***** woz suckin me ****,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block

☻Mary had a little lamb	Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly **** got hard!

☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater	Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, ****ed her arse & went 2 bed!

☻Being a student	Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!

☻Down on her Knees	Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a ****in good job!

☻Cat and the Sausage	A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the *****!

☻Oral sex	Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!

☻Mary's bike	Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels went round the spokes went up her ****

☻NewsFlash	*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !

☻Nutella	I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all . Love always , Nutella.

☻U and the Pope	do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :)

☻Old Days	in days of old wen knights were bold + condoms wernt invented they tied socks around their ***** + people like u were prevented.

☻Sex, Drugs + Birthcontrol	Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll

Speed, weed and birthcontrol,

lifes a *****, then u die,

so **** the world

lets get high..

☻Kiss Me	Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

☻How many letters	How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!

☻My Roof?	last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the **** is my roof??

☻Foot and Mouth	mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right now cos its got foot and mouth

☻Blondes	What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

Some traffic signs say stop

☻Operator	This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you

☻Blonde Womens legs	what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met!

☻This Way Up	Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry

370HSSV 0773H

☻I love you	This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it

i

i l

i lo

i lov

i love

i love y

i love yo

i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!

☻Mary's Lambs	Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they're black and crispy.

☻Sheep	Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the **** up your get us all shot.

☻Butter	Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!!

☻Condom factory	Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

☻Yo Mama	Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

☻Mary Stinks	Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark as charcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!

☻Mary's Duck	mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would ****

☻Tampons	whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck up ****s!