[Off-topic] PURESKILLZZZ:
These are terrible...

But I must admit they made me laugh...

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?

A: Not being retarded

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Q: What's blue and ****s old people?

A: Hypothermia

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Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?

A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

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Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?

A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

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Q: What is the definition of "making love"?

A: Something a woman does while a guy is ****ing her.

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Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?

A: They don't ****ing listen.

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Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?

A: Gonorrhoea

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Q: Why did God create yeast infections?

A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once in a while too.

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Q. How can you tell a macho woman?

A. She rolls her own tampons.

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Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?

A. Better traction in the mud.

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Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?

A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

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Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?

A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.

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Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

A. Marry her.

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Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?

A. Your ass kicked.

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?

A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

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Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?

A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

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Q. Why do women call it PMS?

A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

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Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

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Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

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Q. What's the definition of macho? >

A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

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Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?

A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

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Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?

A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?

A. You push it to the side before you start eating.

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Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?

A. You know she'll swallow.

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Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?

A. They don't want to wear out the camel.

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Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.

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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

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Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?

A. When the big hand touches the little hand...

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Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

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Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.