[Fire Q&A, Help & Troubleshooting] Ubuntu_noobi:
Solved!!! Finally!!!

TL;DR: THERE IS NO "One click" OPTION THAT WORKS. I DOWNLOADED ALL OF THEM. IVE TRIED EVERY DAMN ONE OF THEM. STOP SEARCHING. You MUST side load the system with the code necessary to make it capable to root. Downgrading to 5.3.1 was the secret, instead of trying to root on 5.3.2. I made a glossary of the confusing terminology, made a step by step walk through for noobs

SO, having felt encouraged by the response by people on this forum, last night I decided it was worth another try.

I finally figured out what I was missing. IF YOU CURRENTLY HAVE FIREOS VERSION 5.3.1, YOU MUST ROLL IT BACK THRU SIDE LOADING see here: SIDELOAD TUTORIAL

I tried to load straight onto the system disk and caused all kinds of problems. Once I followed that step by step, which TBH, was a lot of pausing and rewinding. I am not familiar with many terms so I made this...

Android Common Terms:

Boot: A sequence of commands written into the underlying software that tells the device what order to operate in

Bootloader: See Previous (this is the sequence I referenced previously)

Locked Bootloader: Think of trying to edit a PDF you did not create... Exactly.

ADB Fastboot: THIS IS A PROGRAM... NOT A FUNCTION. I still get this confused, thinking that it is a quicker version of the boot sequence... IT IS NOT. ADB Fastboot is a program that gives access to the base software code making it reachable to use certain sections of to "edit the PDF".

Custom Recovery: It is the new version of Windows 10 you were updating to when your crappy laptop you JUST bought came with Windows 8.1. Essentially.

Root: Remember the PDF? Well, if you work somewhere that has Adobe Reader, and you see the window on the right pop up with the ability to login to Adobe Online or whatever? Well, rooting is having login credentials to ACTUALLY edit that damn PDF.

Flash: Download from the internet, and install on your hard drive, or SD Card. It actually means you erase whatever is there completely first, then install. It's two steps, which is why they don't just call it installing... I think.

Partition: Have you ever worked in an office with cubicles? Exactly. A partition is a wall that you put up to segregate files, or programs, or whatever.

SuperTool: Based in your computer. RootJunky Went through and basically made one tool that has everything you need for rooting. PROBLEM IS THAT HE TELLS YOU TO DOWNLOAD ADB FASTBOOT AND DRIVERS AND A BUNCH OF STUFF, then says, or you can just download the SuperTool, which means, I now HAVE TWO OF ALL OF IT, and then I spend the next three hours trying to figure out if its the "custom rom that I sideload into the TWRP, or if the Flashed version of the bootloader gets added to the recovery image, but not before the drivers are flashed into the fastboot."

While this doesn't cover a lot, I hope that people in this community understand what it is like for someone unversed in the lingo to grasp exactly what is going on. I don't think we should speak like idiots and elementary students, but I also think we lose a ton of people that may have something to offer one day because they got frustrated with the terminology and gave up. Luckily, I stuck it out and gave it one last chance and I got it.

So, once I downgraded from 5.3.2 to 5.3.1, I went about trying to root the device, which was also a little confusing.

Step 1: Downgrade if you have 5.3.2 to 5.3.1

Step 2: Enable ADB and Debug in the Settings

Step 3: Hold down the Power and Volume Down button, release the power button once the device starts to reboot and a menu will popup

Step 4: Use the volume keys to access the first selection. This is how you access the "sideloading".

Step 5: Open the SuperTool, click on the batch file which should say Auto... because calling it SuperTool would be confusing

Step 6: follow the super easy instructions. Honestly.

It will walk you through the process and get you to the part about Kingroot and FlashFire and eventually root the device.

I honestly hope this helps someone. God knows it would have saved me from spending approximately 30 hours trying to figure this out.